# How I got my hooman mom (by Teddy, a horse)



## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

Chapter Two
 
So, after the Bad Times there were some times when I was only back in the pasture. This was different from when I was alone before, this time I was with my friends. So it was OK. But sometimes a hooman would come and get me. I didn’t like them to get me, because I thought they wanted to ride me, and that would mean being yelled at. But sometimes they brought me to see the farrier. I didn’t like that either. You see, I have this thing in my shoulder where I can’t lift up my left front leg very much. But no one ever saw that. They just said I was bad. The farrier would try to crank my leg up and then get mad because I couldn’t. He yelled at me. Then he would crank harder and harder, and keep yelling, and the Worries started crowding in, and I did things that I know were very bad, but I just had to GET AWAY! And then everyone yelled at me more and hit me and told me I was Bad. So you can understand why, when a hooman came to get me, I would run away.

One day another hooman came to get me. It was my hooman mom, but I didn’t know that then. I knew who she was, because she had two other horses and sometimes she would come and get them and ride them, and sometimes she would just come out and sit and watch everyone, or give scratches. But this time she came for ME!

So of course I ran away. I mean, I didn’t really run, because she wasn’t exactly chasing me, but I maintained a Personal Space Bubble of about 30 feet. She figured this out pretty quickly, and then she stopped walking after me. But she didn’t exactly go away either. She just stood there. After a while, she stopped looking at me too. So that was good. But I noticed that while I was grazing, and walking, she didn’t get any farther away. In fact, it seemed like somehow maybe she was getting slowly closer. I don’t know how she did that. It seemed OK at first, I guess, but when she got within about ten feet of me, I started worrying again.

But then she made herself smaller! She made herself very small! And she very slowly came toward me, and then I realized she had cookies. I like cookies of course, I mean who doesn’t, but also I know that hoomans use them to catch horses, and I didn’t want to be caught. So I stopped grazing and kept a wary eye on her. She didn’t get any closer for a while, but then she got even smaller (!) and got close enough to me that she could hold out her hands for me to eat the cookies. I figured, if she was so small, then maybe I could eat the cookies, so I quickly did, then got out of there. She didn’t follow me, she just turned around and went back to the barn. That was weird. But I guess I was right about small people not being too bad.

The next day she came out again. She wasn’t small this time, but since I sort of knew her, I let her get within about ten feet before I started walking away. But she did that thing again, where she followed me without moving (I think it had something to do with, she only took a step when I did, on the exact same foot, maybe). After a while I decided to just stop. She stopped too, then got small and came over to me. I wasn’t worried. I took the cookies. She said “good boy” and left.

The third day, I didn’t walk away from her. I wasn’t too worried, and I knew she had cookies. She brought them to me, fed me, and touched me very briefly on my shoulder, then she left.

That went on for a few days, and then she came out with a halter and lead rope. Ah-ha, I thought, I know where this is going, but on the other hand she hadn’t done anything bad to me before, and she had cookies, so I didn’t run away. She didn’t even put it on me! Just fed me the cookies, petted me for a minute, then left. She came out with the halter and lead rope again the next day, and this time she DID put it on, but she gave me cookies, then took it off, then gave me more cookies, then left. This was definitely a strange hooman! 

She didn’t come every day, but she came a lot, maybe for a month, before she ever asked me to come Inside. Inside is where the arenas are, and the farrier, and the yelling. But by this time I sort of trusted her, so I went with her even though I didn’t really want to. Plus, I really really want to be a Good Boy, but when people yell at you, you know you are not a Good Boy. But she never ever yelled at me. So I thought maybe I could be a Good Boy for her, and one thing that Good Boys do is follow hoomans on a lead rope, even if they maybe aren’t sure they want to go to where the hooman is going. She brought me in then gave me some alfalfa hay (!), told me I was a good boy, then took me back out again. I wasn’t entirely sure what had just happened. But it wasn’t bad. I did something I didn’t really want to do, because she asked, and it really wasn’t too bad! I got told I was a Good Boy! And I got alfalfa hay! I love alfalfa hay!


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

Chapter Three


I hope you don’t mind, but I would like to talk about what I believe and some other things that I think. 

I believe that there is right and wrong, good and bad. I believe that rules are for following. I believe that hoomans are for obeying. I believe that rails are for being next to and poles are for going over. I believe that if you do the right thing, then no one will yell at you. Maybe they will even say “Good Boy Teddy!” But I also believe that if you do the wrong thing, people will get mad at you and bad things will happen. And I believe that if a hooman asks you to do something but you don’t understand what to do, the best thing is to do nothing, because maybe then they won’t yell at you. I don’t like being yelled at. It makes the Worries come up.

I believe that Moonshine is the queen of the pasture and the best horse in the whole world, ever. Don’t tell my hooman mom, but I love Moonshine more than I love her. I mean, of course I do – Moonshine is a horse! And she’s so smart! And calm! And brave! Nothing bothers Moonshine, and when Moonshine is there the Worries can’t come close. Also Moonshine is grumpy, which is a good quality in a mare. She pins her ears at me sometimes, but I know she doesn’t mean it.

I like it when everyone is nice. I am the boss in our herd, but I am very nice to Moonshine and Gallego. Especially Moonshine. Because Gallego chases her away from her hay sometimes. When that happens, I tell Gallego, “No, stop that!” and I protect Moonshine. Gallego says that when a horse is the boss of another horse, they can take the other horse’s hay whenever they want, but I don’t think that is very nice. And Moonshine tells me that she is very hungry, almost starving, all the time, so of course I share with her. I don’t need so much hay myself.

I like it best when my hooman mom says “Good Boy Teddy.” She has a special “Good Boy Teddy” voice that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and even melty, and I know that everything will be OK!

I believe that if something bad happens, it is probably my fault. I believe that if I try harder, maybe it won’t happen next time. I try very hard.

I like it when things stay the same. When things change, then maybe it means the rules have changed, and rules shouldn’t change. Rules should always be the same. Otherwise how could they be rules?

I like food that is sweet. Gallego and Moonshine say that’s weird that I eat hooman food, but I like it! Foods that I like are cake, cupcakes (yum!), cookies, scones, and cream puffs! I love the way icing tastes, but I don’t like the way it feels in my mouth (squishy!) so I like to eat sweet food that has some icing and some not icing parts. Of course I also like horse cookies. Oh, and pasta. I mean, hooman pasta. I’m not sure if there is horse pasta or not. Also just the other day I had something called an Apple Pie Croissant, and it was so good!

That is some things about me. I am not good at telling stories, so I just put them in there so you would know something about how I think.


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

Chapter Four

When I am Worried, I toss my head. I used to toss my head all of the time. Even out in the pasture, I would toss my head sometimes if I was far away from the other horses and I wanted to be closer. I know I could have just walked over to where they were, but I tossed my head first because I was Worried. I don’t know why I do this, maybe it keeps some of the Worries away? Worries crowd in when bad things happen, or when you think they might happen.

So I tossed my head a lot back then. Like I said, even in the pasture. But also in the stall, when tied, in an arena, when being held still, and lots of other times. Looking back on it, it’s hard to believe that I used to be worried about being in a stall. Stalls are where I get fed now! Also, at our new place, I have a stall of my very own! It says “Teddy” on it, and it is across the aisle from Gallego’s and Moonshine’s stalls, so I can see them both all of the time and not get worried. I used to not like this stall, or any other stall, because I felt trapped. What if something happened, and the Worries got me?

My hooman mom got me used to being in a stall by always feeding me there! She would give me alfalfa hay (yum!) and also my yummy food. Also she would groom me and pick my hooves, and act like everything was just normal. But she wouldn’t make me stay in for very long. I think each time she made me stay in a little longer, but I didn’t really notice. She also left the door open most of the time, so I knew I could escape if the Worries came!

I was OK with being in a stall but I didn’t ever really like it (I live in a pasture all of the time, but my hooman mom brings me in to feed me and ride me, and she has to have somewhere to put me when she does those things). Until one day something happened. That morning started out sort of normal, but there was something different in the air, and I started seeing Worries hiding behind things. So I knew something bad was going to happen. Then lots of people came, way more than usual. And then there was a terrible crash! Gallego jumped up and started running in circles in his stall, even though it’s so tiny (I think that’s what started to believe that his stall is haunted, but that’s a whole other subject). Then lots of booming sounds. And then, there were other new horses there! And lots and lots of people! Moonshine said it was a horse show, and she was going to be in it, doing dressage, which I think means going in circles in a pretty way.

Anyway, my hooman mom wanted to try to get me used to this show. So she took me out and walked me around. I did not like it! Everything was different! And there were ropes and signs saying “no horses” in places, and a loudspeaker, and so many people! She made me walk around and see everything. Then she took me back to my stall and fed me some more hay. We couldn’t go out in our pasture because it was being used for parking! Then she walked around, and fed me again. Then after a while she came to get me out again, and I said NO. I will not go back out into that place that is my home but different now, with different people and different horses. I refused! Because do you know what, I realized that my stall wasn’t TRAPPING me, it was PROTECTING me! Protecting me from strangers and new things being in my home. So I stayed in there the rest of the day, and now I like my stall!

Also, for that show, I made up a chant for Moonshine: “Moonshine is the best; better than the rest!” She liked it! She said “Good job, Teddy.” Usually she just tells me I’m being silly when I come up with things like that, so I know I must have done a good job. And Moonshine won! She really is the best! She got a blue ribbon to prove it!

Oops, I got ahead of myself, a lot. I wanted to talk about what else made me toss my head. Another big thing was the arena. Because a lot of bad things had happened in there, like people yelling (especially my old owner), my rider being really worried and then me being worried, and being whipped because I didn’t understand things. I didn’t want to go in there at all. My hooman mom took me in and asked me to stand, and I just started tossing my head. She gave me some cookies (which I almost didn’t even want, I just wanted to leave so bad!) and then we left. She didn’t understand back then that I didn’t like to stand still when I was nervous. 

The next time we went in the arena, she asked me to stay a little longer, and gave me some more cookies, then a little more the next time. I think somehow then she realized that I didn’t like being still, so she started walking me around in there, which was a lot better. Then she got out some poles and we walked over those, and that was good, too. I like poles because they are a question that I know the answer to! When you see a pole you know you need to go over it! Soon she wasn’t giving me any cookies in there at all, but I didn’t mind. I liked going over the poles, and she told me “Good boy, Teddy!” in her Good Boy Teddy voice, and that made me feel very good and also safe.

You will probably not be surprised that I did not like to stand still at the mounting block. But my hooman mom brought me there and fed me, and also gave me cookies. At that time, I didn’t have a bridle with a bit because my teeth hurt all the time, too much to have a bit in my mouth. So it didn’t hurt me to stand there with my non-bitted bridle and eat. Now I have a bit, and I like that better, because it is more clear what my hooman mom is asking me to do. I like directions that are clear. But on the other hand, unlike some horses, I can’t eat with a bit in my mouth, or even drink really, so we don’t do treats at the mounting block any more, which is too bad! Wouldn’t it be nice to start your ride off by having a nice cupcake?

She also worked on me being tied by grooming me, tacking me, and of course feeding me while I was tied. As long as she or Moonshine was around, I didn’t mind being tied. Or if I was thinking about something else, like food! But even now I still don’t like it. But I can stand for longer times now. I am getting better!

Next chapter: riding!


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