# Chivalry. It's dead. Rant.



## NeryLibra (Oct 9, 2013)

Chivalry is dead. In fact, it's deader than dead, decomposed and regrown into skeptical rudeness and self-entitled attitudes. 

It started yesterday. Mom had sent me to the store to pick up some ingredients for dinner, no problem for me. I'm supposed to get the ingredients, get home, and drive some over to my grandmother so that she has some dinner. The trip to the store is typical. In, out. No problem. Fastforward to the drive home.

I take a northbound left onto the highway and start homeward. About... 2000 feet from the store-turn off, there's a car in the southbound lane, sideways, partially on the shoulder in a snow bank, hazards blinking. Not clear enough? This car looks like it SPUN OUT! My first instinct is to stop, but there's oncoming traffic. I watch them, hoping someone will stop, or at least slow down. Thirteen cars, not. one. stops. Watching these people blow by the spun out lookalike is dismaying and makes my heart sink. Headlights in the last car in the line outlines the figure of a head, which is scary. If the driver spun out, they could be injured. This steels my resolve, I drive to the next stop light, take a left onto some side road, flip a uie, go back, take a southbound right, and pull up behind the spun out car. Get out, slam the door shut, run as fast as I can to the car. I reach it and knock on the window when I realize that the driver is ok. She looks up and immediately, her face lights up and she grins a very thankful grin. She gets out of the car. She ran out of gas and realized that she was sitting on E as she was headed home, thought to flip a uie and catch the southbound lane back to the gas station two turn lanes back. Her car puttered out mid-turn and the car died, barely getting her to the shoulder before giving up on her.

She spent 20 minutes, sitting in her car in 15f weather with no heat, trying to call people to come help, looking like she SPUN OUT, and people just.. drove by her. She couldn't leave the car because, oh hey, pushing it is a two person job and none of her contacts were available to help. She would have been stuck there if I hadn't stopped, because no one else was going to stop, until either a cop showed up, or her mom had finished the hour-long pilgrimage from her place of work to the city in which she lives. 15 degrees may be better than the negatives we've been having, but it's STILL below freezing. Why couldn't anyone stop?!

I mean, seriously. The way I was raised is to stop when you see hazards, to offer help, to be cautious but courteous with strangers, and remember that the way you treat stranded strangers should always be the same way you'd want to be treated. I was also raised in an isolated town, one that you must traverse a 36 mile long canyon to get to any big cities, one that has absolutely no cell reception. If you break down in the canyon, you're stranded until someone stops to help you. Period. Unless you walk the canyon, which few people choose to do. I was raised with the mentality that no cell reception means you are alone if you break down. Being alone and in an isolated canyon is not favorable. You are often stuck relying on people's kindness. It pays to be the one being kind, because if I ever broke down in the canyon, I would desperately hope that someone would stop to help or at least check on me.

When we moved out of our town, my mentality was changed. Cities usually have exceptional cell service. Cell service obviously means that people can take care of themselves, right? So we stop to help people less. I can understand this, truly, I can. This means that I won't necessarily stop and bug you if I see you pulled over. This doesn't, however, mean that I completely discredit you being broken down. Whenever I pass a car with hazards, I slow down and try to see what's going on. If something seems really wrong, I stop. If it doesn't, I press on and send my best wishes to the car I just passed. If I happen to have to travel back by the area in which the person was stopped, I always keep an eye out for them and resolve to stop and check on them if they're still there and in their car. Especially on cold days. 

This, though, is just referencing to cars parked on shoulders with their hazards going. This is NOT talking about cars that are sideways, partially in the road, and not fully on the shoulder, which like I described, is what happened yesterday. The fact that these people passed a car like that just irks and unnerves me. The situation could have been infinitely worse than it was, and if it was? Would those people have had the sense to stop, or would they have mindlessly and rudely blown by, not caring? She was someone's girlfriend, daughter, friend, hair stylist. If she had been hurt, would anyone have thought to call the cops or check on her? I fear not...

At the end of the situation, a cop had come and checked on us. We ended up having to jump the car and get her more gas than she got when I originally took her to the gas station. I proceeded to follow her to the gas station to make sure she was in a safer place than on the side of the road, and we parted ways. But in the time I was with her? Not one other soul stopped. Not one. And that.. sickens me.


Chivalry is dead. It's deader than dead, decomposed, and regrown into skeptical rudeness and self-entitled attitudes. 

Gotta story to share? Please do. I need to know other, helpful and kind people exist. People that stop to help when it's needed. Wanna join in? DO IT! Be angry with me! :evil::evil::evil::evil::evil::evil:


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## PaintHorseMares (Apr 19, 2008)

I don't have a specific story, but my wife and I always stop when someone looks like they need help or are lost. These days many people are (understandably) wary of strangers stopping to help. In those cases, we'll drive away and call the sheriff's department to have a deputy go out to check on them and/or assist.


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## CCBella (Jul 6, 2010)

When I was younger and only six months into having my drivers licence I hit a slick patch of road coming around a corner, spun, over corrected and crashed into a barrier. I was at a major, 3 lane, intersection during peak hour with 50-60 witnesses. When the light turned green every single car went around me. Luckily I was not hurt and my managed to move my car to a close by carpark at which point it died. The only person who saw it happen and came to check on me was the transport guard from the train station who's carpark I was in. The incident certainly put me off big city people.

Alternatively, I've had multiple people check on me when I've been changing tires, parked, been driving with a flat, put things on my roof and forgot (lol) etc while living in a smaller city or the country.


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## Palomine (Oct 30, 2010)

There have been stories about people stopping to help, and they are kidnapped, raped, or killed too.

Best thing to do is to call 911 and report car seems to be stranded with someone in there, and ask them to send help.

You don't know, when you stop, just how things are going to go, and I'd rather be cautious than dead.


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## Clava (Nov 9, 2010)

When I broke down recently I had quite a few people stop asking if I needed help  , but the roadside mechanic soon arrived. My husband has often gone out of his way to help people with their cars, so chivalry isn't dead world wide.


Ok, this is only a fun video, but it shows people still do help others. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=av196Qf-bpY


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## gssw5 (Jul 30, 2013)

I understand what your saying a few years ago I was driving a long stretch of highway near my town I had my 7yo daughter in the car and was 6 months pregnant. I witnessed a car come off a side road going much to fast the women missed the curve and flew straight into the grassy ditch the car flipped three times hit a telephone pole then finally came to a stop. I stopped ran to the car found the women unconscious, and in this particular area I have no cell service. I shut off her car and tried flagging people down to get them to stop not one person would stop. Finally another car was coming off the side road and had to slow down I jumped out in front of them and forced them to stop. Luckily they had cell service, and were able to help keep the lady who was injured calm, and I climbed into the backseat to stabilize her head and neck until emergency services arrived. In all that time nobody else stopped and I don't think these other people would have stopped if I had not jumped out in the middle of the road.

On the flip side a few months ago my friend and I were hauling a horse trailer and one of the tires blew on the trailer. Some folks who were going the opposite direction and saw it happen turned around to come back and help us. The man changed the tire for us, and then followed us to the next gas station about 10 miles up the road, and checked the lug nuts to make sure they were tight before we got on the toll road and continued out trip. We tried to give him a couple bucks for his trouble but he would not take it. He said he is just paying it forward and that he hopes if his daughter or wife ever need help that someone will stop to help them.

Don't give up on chivalry while it may be dying it is not dead. My children are taught to open and hold doors, stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves and help others in need.


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## kiltsrhott (Mar 11, 2012)

What terrible stories!

The last time my car broke down the engine completely shut off while I was driving. I live in a rural area. It was a windy, country road with 2 lanes and no shoulder and I was blocking one of the travel lanes. I called my dad, who only lives a few miles away. I then sat there with my 4-ways on waiting for my dad. I think about 10 cars drove around me without stopping to see if I was okay. One nice man in a pick up truck rolled down his window and asked if I was okay. When I told him my dad was going to be there any second, he wished me luck and drove on, but only one person stopped! I was sitting in a pretty dangerous spot, with a blind turn behind me and a hill in front of me. If someone came around the turn a little too fast, I'd be hit. No one except that one guy seemed to care at all.

A similar thing happened to me earlier this year when my battery died at a gas station. I was blocking a gas pump, unable to start my car. I was sitting there with my hood up. Not one person would help me when I asked if anyone was willing to give me a jump. It was a weekday morning on my way to work and everyone else was in too much of a hurry to help me out. I had to sit there enduring irritated looks for blocking the pump until triple A arrived to jump me.

The lack of chivalry shows in other places too. People let doors close in your face, butt in front of you in line, drive through the cross walk when you clearly want to cross the street, stop at an intersection with stop signs and then go when it's not their turn yet etc.

But it does still exist in some places. A friend of mine had a flat tire. She put her spare on and partway to the garage her spare went flat. A truck driver stopped, put air in her spare, and patched, remounted and put air in her flat tire. When she tried to pay him for his help, he refused to accept any payment.


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

I still stop and offer help. It may just be to pull up and ask if they have the tools they need, but something.

There are times that I can't or won't and then I get to where I have cell service and call the non-emergency number. Or, since I can sometimes text when I can't call, I'll text a friend in town and have them call it in.

I do remember stopping to assist three teen girls who were stranded on a two land highway far from town. They already had one of their dads on the way yet were scared not being used to being out of town. I had them call him so I could tell him I was there and going to wait with them. I have three daughters who travel and can kind of relate to the worry when one is on the road. I gave him my name and where I worked, and told him, "I am the kind of person I would want to have stop and help my daughters." He laughed and said it took some of the worry away just knowing someone local was going to wait with them.


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## Inga (Sep 11, 2012)

Palomine said:


> There have been stories about people stopping to help, and they are kidnapped, raped, or killed too.
> 
> Best thing to do is to call 911 and report car seems to be stranded with someone in there, and ask them to send help.
> 
> You don't know, when you stop, just how things are going to go, and I'd rather be cautious than dead.



Yup, isn't it a sad world we live in now? My Godfather was killed like that. He stopped to help someone who appeared to be hurt. The man shot him a few times and stole his wallet. He lived long enough to tell the tale but they never caught the person. It is so sad that one has to fear helping someone in need, but we do.


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## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

Being a small woman with no self-defense training, I do not stop for my own safety. There are way too many weirdos in the world, sadly, even in small towns. If the person looks okay, I'll drive by. I've never seen someone in the ditch with the car flipped, but if I did, I would go assist them. I mean really, who flips their car just to set up a ruse to kill someone? 

I wouldn't say this is a lack of chivalry. In one of my sociology classes, I learned the reason why no one stops or why no one helps in a big crowd. People think that someone has already assisted the person in need, so it would be silly to try to help or call for help. When everyone believes this, no one helps because everyone thinks someone else already has. It's a group mentality, not that people actually don't care. And unfortunately, if people aren't aware of this group mentality, they are going to keep thinking this way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Darrin (Jul 11, 2011)

I think most people today believe they'll whip out a cell phone and call triple A or whatever so help is already on the way. Now is chivalry really dead? We just got hit by a snow/ice storm. Every single accident/car in the ditch I came upon already had at least one other car and generally more stopped to help. I would say it's alive and well.


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## kiltsrhott (Mar 11, 2012)

I would like to add that I have only stopped to help someone once. There was a woman with a flat tire on the side of a busy road. I rolled down my window and asked her if she needed help or a phone to call for help. She told me help was on its way. Other than that I have never stopped only because every time I have passed a person in need emergency vehicles or a tow truck are already on the scene or they are clearly uninjured, talking on the phone and appear to have things in order. If I ever encountered someone that appeared to need help and it was in a secluded area, or an area I felt uncomfortable stopping, I would dial 911 and make sure someone checked up on them. I could never just drive by and not take action somehow. I have even stopped to help inured animals on the side of the road when no one else would. Though I would not recommend doing this if you don't have the proper equipment in your vehicle, like thick gloves, towels, and a box or cat carrier. I keep these things in my trunk at all times now. It also helps that I'm rabies vaccinated.


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## Paradise (Jun 28, 2012)

I too am from a small town and when I go in the ditch the whole township knows about it before I even get home. There's no way I can cover my tracks and avoid the embarrassment lol.

I'm 5'3 and 120 lbs, I drive a cavalier and have no mechanical knowledge. I usually don't stop for strangers because there's nothing I can physically do to help, but I always at least roll down my window and make sure they're ok and they have someone coming to get them.

I think the group mentality plays into the cause of people driving by, yes, but also on a busy highway people will avoid stopping and getting out, especially at night, because its dangerous for everyone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MyBoySi (Dec 1, 2011)

Yesterday hubby and I sat in a Wal-Mart parking lot for three hours and only one person asked if we needed help. It was pretty obvious we were going nowhere, hood was up, kept trying the car etc. Luckily hubby is a mechanic so we were waiting for a part from a delivering parts store but I was pretty surprised that only one person offered to help out of literally hundreds that went by. And here I am 8ish months preggers. 

On the other hand last summer my sister and I were driving from our hay guy to our old boarding barn with a load of hay. We get to a corner and half the load falls off (note to self, don't let sister stack hay into truck lol) the truck behind us immediately throws on its four ways and a really nice mid twenties guy gets out and offers to help us. Not only does he restack our hay he throws all the loose hay, as about 8 bales had broke open, into the bed of his truck and drives it to our destination, well out of his way. 

So while I see your frustration I don't think chivalry is dead, it's just in hiding lol. Society has made it that way.


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## Jessabel (Mar 19, 2009)

I don't think it's always a matter of not caring. You can't trust anyone in this day and age. I'll call the police if I see a car in the ditch, but I don't dare stop. Being raised in a big, violent city, I never trust a stranger, no matter how innocent they look. 

I do remember being in the car with my parents many years ago, and it was the middle of winter. We drove past an old woman trying to shovel her driveway, and my folks stopped and did it for her. Common kindness is alive and well, but you can't let your soft heart override caution.


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## Kadymurphy (Nov 28, 2013)

My trainer used to have this truck, every time we went to a barrel race and left the trailer plugged in the battery would die.

Needless to say, we've been stranded at a LOT of barrel races.
Someone would always come, give us a jump and rescue us.

As far as stopping for people, I wouldn't do it. Just because I'm 5'6 and only 100lbs. Someone could overpower me very easily. But me and my ex used to go wheeling with our trucks up in the woods and almost every time we came back down there would be someone on the side of the road. No matter what he always stopped to try to help. It would almost get rediculous, because EVERYONE would stop to help.
Pretty soon there's 15 guys all standing around one truck ahaha.


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## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

I try my best to stop and help. And I'm as untrustworthy and wary of people as it gets. I one time witnessed a bad accident, a car flipped over on the highway and rolled down a hill. Me and another car stopped, i was the only one who got out to see if the people were alright as the other car called 911 and drove away. 

Another time i made my friend pull over so we could help a truck driver get back someplace warm instead of being put in sub zero weather. 

If people will stop for me (and thats happened a lot lol) then I'll help people too. There have been times when I'll be more guarded around people due to bad feelings but most of the time im pretty mean and have a good survival instinct. The few times ive gotten bad vibes off of people i usually just ask them if they have help coming or need to call, then i leave them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shoebox (Apr 18, 2012)

Palomine said:


> There have been stories about people stopping to help, and they are kidnapped, raped, or killed too.
> 
> Best thing to do is to call 911 and report car seems to be stranded with someone in there, and ask them to send help.
> 
> You don't know, when you stop, just how things are going to go, and I'd rather be cautious than dead.


This is just what I was going to say. I grew up with people telling me stories of people who pick up hitchhikers and get murdered, robbed, you name it. This slowly started to include people who needed "help" on the side of the road. I'm a tiny 21 year old girl, it wouldn't be hard to do away with me. 

That being said, if I think they look legitimately in need I will stop. Smoke billowing out of hood? Sure. Upside down, or obviously skidded out into the ditch? Yeah, I'll probably stop. I've got mace on my keychain and I usually am carrying a knife. I'll have my phone ready to dial 911 - just in case the person needs help, but just in case I need help too. 

I had to steer myself into the ditch one winter night a few years ago. It was 30 below, I was driving to a friend's house in my pajamas (brilliant, right?) and as I took a sharp turn, a pickup came screaming around the bend. In my lane. It was ditch or head on collision, so I took the plunge. Ended up in the ditch, halfway under the boughs of a pine tree. Snow piled up to my windshield and it was so deep I couldn't keep my car running because the exhaust couldn't escape. 

Everyone who passed me stopped. A woman got out and practically begged me to come and warm up in her car. Offered to go get her husband to try and haul me out. A tow truck turned around at an intersection to come offer to pull me out (...for a nominal fee). A guy and his son asked if I wanted help. By this time my boyfriend was on his way with his truck and tow chains so I declined their help, but on this dead quiet road at 11 PM where it's not common to see a car for a half hour in the evening, all of the people who passed me stopped and offered help. So, I would disagree when you say chivalry is dead. People need to be cautious nowadays, and I totally respect that, being one of those people myself.


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## SEAmom (Jan 8, 2011)

I don't stop to help in general because I'm a woman and do most of my driving on the highway or on roads that aren't well lit. Generally in the dark, too. I know my husband has stopped to help people, but I don't because I worry for my own safety. I'm not any good to my husband or daughter if I'm permanently disabled, a vegetable, or worse. It's sad that I feel this way because of where I live and drive, but it's the truth. It has nothing to do with chivalry being alive or dead.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

I don't usually stop for people because I'm female and small. If it's an animal trailer or looks like its seemingly a woman alone, I will roll down my window and offer to call someone or to stay until someone else comes. Too risky for me to do much more. If I saw a wreck, I would stop.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Palomine said:


> There have been stories about people stopping to help, and they are kidnapped, raped, or killed too.
> 
> Best thing to do is to call 911 and report car seems to be stranded with someone in there, and ask them to send help.
> 
> You don't know, when you stop, just how things are going to go, and I'd rather be cautious than dead.


This^^. Anymore, it can be very dangerous to play the good samaritan. Like others, I'm a small woman and often travel alone so if it's a man that's stopped, I keep going and call the police and report a "stranded motorist". If it's a woman by herself I'll stop. I've always had great luck with folks stopping to help when I was in trouble. I'll share some stories later when I have a keyboard and can type faster.


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## Spotted Image (Aug 10, 2011)

I don't stop just cause I"m a girl and kind of small. My Dad and I have stopped many times, one time we even came tie downs to a family to keep there hood down so they could drive down the road. Now I had a blow out and got on the side in a turn lane lucky. My dad was on his way, but my tire was across the busy road and I wasn't gonna go get it until my dad got there. A gentlemen stopped got my tire and put it in the bed of my truck for me and asked if I had help on the way. He was nicer, but a few minutes later a cop stopped, and when I told them I did have help on the way they sped off, leaving me there. So It's still there but just depends. Most girls don't stop for saftey.


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## Bagheera (Apr 23, 2013)

I always call 911, but never stop. I've heard way too many horror stories from my aunt, who is a Chicago police officer.


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## TimWhit91 (Feb 3, 2012)

My battery died at walmart one day. Middle of winter. I asked 10 different people if they could jump me(the people who kept parking next to me) I had my cables attached to my battery, hood up, each person told me no. My boyfriend finally arrived to jump my car. I couldn't believe it. In the little town I used to live, if I broke down I would have 2-3 cars pulling over to help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Okay, on a real computer now with a keyboard that it won't take me 20 minutes to type this out.

I was driving down a basically deserted highway when I had a blowout. It was in the middle of summer, which means 100+ degrees outside. I was digging out my spare and my jack from the trunk. The very first vehicle to go by turned around and came back. There were 4 Mexican men in it and not one of them spoke English but they managed to get across that they wanted me to get back in the car with the air conditioning and they changed my tire while I sat in where it was cool.

I was living in Amarillo (decent sized city) and came home from work one morning after the weather dumped about 15 inches of snow. Around here, that's a massive amount. I was trying to get into the parking lot of my apartment complex when I hit a drift and got stuck. I sat there for a couple of minutes wondering what I was going to do when 3 people came wading through the drift in front of me to push on my hood until I got out. After I went around the drift and parked, I teamed up with them and about 8 other folks who went around the parking lot helping to push out folks who were stuck.

Maybe it's just the part of the country where I live, but around here, it seems that you can't pull over to the side of the road to make a phone call without half a dozen people pulling over to see if everything is okay or if you need help. 

So, no, chivalry is NOT dead, people just have to be more cautious because the world is more dangerous than it used to be.


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## PaintHorseMares (Apr 19, 2008)

smrobs said:


> Maybe it's just the part of the country where I live, but around here, it seems that you can't pull over to the side of the road to make a phone call without half a dozen people pulling over to see if everything is okay or if you need help.


Around here it very much depends on where you are (stuck).
If we're in/near town, very few people stop.
If you're out in the country by our place, most people will stop. When you live somewhere were the nearest gas station is 5 miles, the nearest 24 hour store is 12 miles, cell service can be spotty, and the nearest house can be a walk of a couple miles, folks tend to be very willing to help each other a lot more, and you can be sure than any "local" (typically farmers/ranchers) will stop and help.


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## Foxesdontwearbowties (Jul 9, 2012)

I slid off the interstate very soon after I got my license (17). It had been snowing and a car in front of me slammed on its brakes, I tried to slow down but my car spun out into the other lane, almost hitting another car, and then back into the other lane and off the edge of a huge hill. Luckily no injuries to me or the car, but it took twenty minutes for somebody to stop! And it was the most horrid weather, getting dark. Did I mention I didn't have a cell phone and my parents weren't home to get a hold of?


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## Iseul (Mar 8, 2010)

Honestly, it's not that I'm afraid to be hurt, kidnapped, etc by the person off in a ditch, but I'm worried about being sued by said person if I help them out of their car. The world is a sue-happy place nowadays, and I don't have the money to be sued for trying to help someone.

I do stop depending on how bad it is though, even just to roll down the window and ask if they're alright (if I can stop..snowy roads, I'm not going to slam my brakes on for someone around a corner off in the ditch). I know some hand-to-hand, self defense, and I'm handy with a knife (of which I always have anywhere between 1-5 on my depending on where I'm travelling to). I'm female, but I'm not small. Honestly, I'm not the type someone would try to kidnap, I look like I'd put up a fight, which I would.

So while I'd like to always stop and help, I'll call 991 if they ask, but I'm most likely not going to get out of my truck to ensure I can't be sued for trying to be nice.

I have also lost all my faith in humanity..I've been screwed over too many times trying to be nice, and it makes me not want to be nice to anyone for fear of being burned. Not to mention, I have absolutely zero knowledge on anything medical, I can't help anyone much more than calling 911 and trying to talk to them to calm them down.


I will say though, I flipped my car last year (dry road, hit a pile of ash salt penndot left on the side of the road (in the lane, not off the shoulder) with bald tires..I had the first person (I assume, being as I was blocking the whole road, lol) stop to call 911 and I scared the ever living crap out of her when I crawled out cussing a storm and kicking my, now totalled, car. In my frustration of totalling a car for a reason that wasn't my fault and never should've happened (I was slowed down about 15mph under the speed limit), I didn't even thank the lady...I hate to think she regrets stopping to help as it seemed I wasn't even appreciative, but I was. I just didn't have the mental capacity to be upset and able to express my thanks to her at the same time, I was only 17. But, everytime I've stopped, I've always been thanked.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

I am always one to help if I can but, am also wary. I think one has to be in today's world. I don't think it is a new thing that chivalry is dead. I had the tow catch on a trailer snap and the trailer, with two ponies aboard, went across the road on the corner between two oncoming cars, stopped with the front up a bank. The ramp was flat on the floor when I let it down, ponies rolled out totally unharmed. 
About thirty plus cars must have gone past. Then along came a group of Hells Angels, long, non to clean hair, all rather sinister looking but they manhandled the trailer onto the road, tied it to the broken hitch, helped me turn around and followed us back to the stables.


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

Iseul said:


> Honestly, it's not that I'm afraid to be hurt, kidnapped, etc by the person off in a ditch, but I'm worried about being sued by said person if I help them out of their car. The world is a sue-happy place nowadays, and I don't have the money to be sued for trying to help someone.
> 
> I do stop depending on how bad it is though, even just to roll down the window and ask if they're alright (if I can stop..snowy roads, I'm not going to slam my brakes on for someone around a corner off in the ditch). I know some hand-to-hand, self defense, and I'm handy with a knife (of which I always have anywhere between 1-5 on my depending on where I'm travelling to). I'm female, but I'm not small. Honestly, I'm not the type someone would try to kidnap, I look like I'd put up a fight, which I would.
> 
> ...



Bald tires aren't your fault? Interesting...


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## Kiara (Aug 27, 2008)

A few months ago a woman was bunpes by another car. When she got out to check the damage three men took her, raped her and left her all with her infant son in the backseat. The POLICE told women to not stop if you can avoid it and lock yourself in the car if you ever need to stop...

Same time frame a police officer was accused of pulling a woman over, cuffing her, then abusing her.

Nothing to do with chivalry.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

I don't think chivalry is dead. I've met plenty of helpful people in my life.

If I am alone, I won't stop for the same reason that everyone else has mentioned. Firstly, and the biggest reason being, I have no mechanical knowledge. If I stop, I won't be of any help anyway. Secondly, there have been plenty of stories of people getting themselves into trouble, like Palomine mentioned. 

So, I'll call but, again, fi I'm alone I won't stop. If I have someone with me (particularly someone who may be more useful) sure, I'll stop and see if someone is ok.

As for myself... AAA


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## Iseul (Mar 8, 2010)

gunslinger said:


> Bald tires aren't your fault? Interesting...


No, I don't feel that they were. I had no idea until after the accident. A few weeks prior my car had the battery replaced and I had tires and brakes checked, everything supposedly looked brand new. There is no possible way I went from brand new to bald tires in a few weeks. I do not do burnouts or any of that stuff that could possibly have caused it. The mechanic lied to me and I honestly should have sued him.
But, I was a 17yo girl. I was taught to trust the mechanic, they were trained for it. Since then I know the majority of my stuff and check whatever got worked on over if it's stuck in the shop, or I'll do it myself to ensure it is done correctly.

So no, the bald tires were not my fault, I was raised that women have no need to know more than how to check fluid levels. I never grew up agreeing with anything but the mechanics part, now I don't take any of that. Anything a man knows I should know and be able to do just as well. So, mechanic took advantage of a young girl, basically. Was not my fault, but I learned from it and it won't happen again.

You could've just asked WHY I thought it wasn't my fault instead of ASSUMING I knew about the tires before the accident.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JohnWayne (Mar 26, 2013)

I was stuck on a well traveled back road once when the belt slipped on my truck. I had my 3 babies in the back ( they were 3, 1 1/2 and newborn). My husband was on deployment and I couldn't get a hold of anyone. I had my hazards on, the hood up and was trying to get the belt on at least long enough to get off the road. I was there for about 30 mins and in that time was passed by about 20 vehicles.......
Only 1 guy stopped to ask if I was ok and needed help. He was a big biker dude with neck tattoos and full sleeves, long hair and a bandana, new was worried I would be afraid of him! He rolled down his window and was all "Ma'am I don't want to alarm you, I was just wondering if I can help you?" Lol! I explained what happened, he took a look and called his friend to bring tools. His friend showed up and they came to the conclusion that the belt had to be replaced so his friend stayed with my truck while he helped me load my babies into his truck and he drove me to the next town over because the local auto store didn't have the right belt. Then he and his friend installed the new belt, checked my oil and other fluids and made sure all my lights worked! All in all they spent about an hour and 1/2 of their day to help a stranger. I tried to pay them but they would t even let me buy them a cup of coffee. When I think of them I ask The Lord to bless them!

As for me, I always stop unless it is exceedingly clear they have help already, such as police/ fire/ aid/ tow truck. As a Firefighter/ EMT I was legally required to stop and give aid. I no longer work in that field so don't legally have to stop but I feel morally bound to. And I would want (and have had many times over the years!) someone to stop and help me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^That's a nice story.

It's a hard thing; a combination of wanting to be safe, but also wanting to help people. I wish that people (women included) could stop and help someone without fear of being hurt or robbed.


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## aureliusandoinky (Nov 28, 2013)

I would NEVER stop to help someone these days. A friend's parent was almost murdered one night when he stopped to help some people. Luckily he got away somehow but not before being beaten up. And this was a big, tall man too.

Oh and I don't fancy being raped and left for dead. Women have to protect themselves, and men too ^.


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## NeryLibra (Oct 9, 2013)

Unfortunately it happened again this afternoon. 

About 30 cars are sitting in line at a red light when a gentleman's car flat out dies in the middle of taking a right onto our side road. He's blocking the intersection completely, meaning no one can take a left onto our road and the cars behind him can't complete their right turn. He walked to a few cars in front of me, knocking on the windows and gesturing to his car - all while people are mindlessly HONKING AT HIM TO GET HIM TO MOVE!! - and no one steps up. So I do, pull off to the side and put my hazards on, and run to help him. Together we push his car semi-out of the turn and when I slip someone else from the car in front of me joins in, we didn't get him far. Just far enough to be out of the intersection and out of the way.

But are you f(bleeping) serious? This guy was blocking traffic, trying to flag someone down to help, and no one could be bothered to do it? What was he going to do, wait for Triple A to come give him a 50ft tow so everyone else could use the intersection? 

And just when you guys lifted my spirits too. Sigh.


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## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

I actually had it out with my roommate today over being "safe" while helping people. We were going to get dinner and there were two guys (pretty mean and grouchy looking if you catch my drift) and she freaked out when I pulled over to see if they needed help. They're car had spun out and my city has put a stop on all non emergency tow trucks (even including AAA) so basically (and I can attest to this) if you spin out, get in an accident you're outta luck and rely on the kindness of strangers to come and help you; or you walk back to your house/wherever will let you spend the night. 

So with it being subzero I cannot in good concision leave anyone out there without some peace of mind that they can get help. Well I got out of my car and my roommate went into hysterics that I would go and offer them help (like call someone, see if I can pull them out, help them push, etc). She refused to even get out of the car and help me even though I assured her that there was little to no danger presented in the two guys. To make her feel safe I gave her the keys and said: "if they start to murder me then go, happy?" I thought she would just be more comfortable locking the doors, etc, but yeah..... turns out she left me. I went to go help one guy push and next thing I know my car went spinning out into the middle of the road and left me. Majorly, about ten miles from my house and in the dark and cold weather with two strangers no less. Luckily though they were nicer than could be and offered to give me a ride into town (which I refused politely because I said in an earlier post that I'm very wary of people.... paranoid in fact) and said I'd just walk it. Well, they didn't like the idea of me walking back to town in the dark so they walked with me back into town. Even bought me dinner too! lol so Chivalry isn't dead. Plus it was nice to know that there are good people who will repay good deeds! 

*Needless to say when I got back I told my roommate if she ever left me again she wouldn't have to worry about getting killed by a stranger, but me when I got back home.*


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

It depends. In cities, which I avoid, I would not stop, no - and I don't know if I would want anyone in a city to stop and offer to help me if I needed help. Locally? Yes, and people are very good about stopping to see if you need help.


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

Depending on the situation I would stop. If I saw an accident definitely, but I would be a little nervous about a stranger on the road in a seemingly fine car.

Also to me hazards tend to mean everything is under control . I'd have thought that in that situation she would get out and flag someone down.


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## Marcie (Jul 25, 2013)

Last month I was driving through the country during the day with my mom, trying to get home and it was snowing heavily. The roads were not good at all. A car ahead of me lost control and hit a van in the oncoming traffic lane. The car lost control and slid into the ditch.

I was with my mom and right away I was like, we need to stop! I pulled over and preceded to talk to the driver who had ended up in the ditch. (the van pulled over safely on the other side of the road.) I tried talking to him, to let him know I wanted to make sure he was okay and that I saw the accident. He was very short with me.. And acted almost mad or offended that I pulled over to check on him. There were a bunch of people in the car who started getting out at that point..

So we left. Really made me shake my head though. Maybe he was just upset or shook up from the accident but it didn't seem that way. If I wasn't with my mom I may not have stopped but would have called the police. BUT there were a lot of cars around so maybe I would have.

And once I rescued a dog on thanksgiving from a busy road. It looked like a puppy it was just running across the street by itself and no one stopped! Cars were just dodging and driving around it. O.O I couldn't believe it! So I pulled over and got it into my car. Walked down the street, knocked on doors, no one had seen it. Called the humane society and they connected me with a dispatcher. Turns out it DID belong to somebody! I was really happy, we met down the block at the gas station and I handed over her dog. ..And she yelled at the dog.. I don't even think she thanked me.. Just.. bizarre. 

I don't know, I've honestly rescued so many animals on the street that I've given up thinking anyone else ever tries to save them.

Sorry for all that negativity! SO to even that out, I will say, people DO try to help others. Whether or not it's appreciated. And even though there may not be many of us, hey, we try!  My mom's car got stuck going down my driveway and a complete stranger ran over and helped push it out! With my back injury I could not have done it. We were very grateful!


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

This morning I took the dogs for their walk. I drove out to the cliffs where it was blowing hard enough to make me nearly loose my feet. The sea was the roughest yet after these storms. 
There was a tree down but to the side enough that I could negotiate around it. I thought it would be worth going back to collect for firewood for my sister and family.

So, just after lunch back I went armed with my chainsaw. I started sawing it up into lengths that would fit in my van and hadn't done more than a couple of lengths when an elderly man comes along with a wheelbarrow and bow saw. He had the same idea! 

He said that he would just take the smaller branches but, I insisted that he had some off the heavier stuff which I cut into the right size for his fire. His barrow loaded he stopped to help me load the van and clear the ivy. He then told me where he lived which was some distance away and all uphill. I insisted that we put his stuff in the van and I drove him back. 

So, chivalry is not dead.


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

I forgot about some of the things that I've done just recently. Both of these happened while I was at work.

A few weeks ago on a particularly cold day (I'm talking highs of 12 with wind chill in the negatives), I was driving on a small dirt ranch road and saw a momma cow off by herself. I didn't think much of it until I saw a coyote take off running and I took a better look at the way she was standing/moving. I slowed way down going past her and noticed a tiny calf laying in the weeds. I suspect she'd had it either the day before or that night. Momma was obviously agitated, but I wanted to check on the calf so I got out of the truck and walked as close as she would let me. The calf was still alive...barely. It tried to pick it's head up but was moving slow and jerky. I tried to sneak in close enough to pick it up to put it in my truck, but mom wasn't having any of that. I couldn't see a brand on the cow and, at the time, I didn't know exactly whose land I was on, so I spent the next hour on the phone and going to every house surrounding there trying to figure out whose cows they were. I finally did get ahold of the owner and he managed to get out there soon enough to save the calf.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was driving down a highway and saw 2 dogs jogging down the middle of the road, one of which was a very nice GSD. I saw that he had tags on so I pulled over and managed to call him over to me. I called his owner from the number on his tags and then kept the dog in my back seat for the next 30 minutes while she got around and came to pick him up. He'd managed about 6 miles and was at a long trot _away_ from his house so God only knows where he would have ended up if he'd been able to avoid getting hit.

In both those instances, some folks would have just kept on driving. 

One person may not be able to change the world, but they can sure make someone else's day a whole lot better by just doing some small thing.


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## Delfina (Feb 12, 2010)

I'm not going to stop because there's absolutely nothing I can do other than call 911 and I do that without stopping. 

I'm all of a 100lbs, gimpy knee and basically zero knowledge of how vehicles work. 

I will (and have) pulled neighbor's vehicles out of ditches in snowstorms and actually carry a tow rope just for that. Anything other than a simple hook up pull out though isn't happening because I'm not risking my truck getting stuck (we live 45 minutes from an actual town, I HAVE to be able to collect my kids from the paved highway 15mins away). 

I don't trust anyone. We hire long-haul truckers to bring us Semi's at work and as we're nearly 2 hours from the airport and in the middle of absolutely nowhere (no shuttle or taxi services), we have to drive the truckers to the airport after they arrive. I won't do it. No way, no how, are you getting me to take them anywhere.... I make one of the shop guys take them.


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