# Annoying obsessed horse person



## iridehorses (Oct 22, 2007)

drafts4ever said:


> avoidable student damages/falls/injuries/problems...I can't think of the word.


The word "incompetent" comes to mind.

Sounds like a horse stalker! Something of a child who can't have what she thinks she wants and becomes obsessive about it. Be careful and put a note on the stall door that says "No one to ride this horse without me present or without written permission". That may preclude her showing up when your trainer or you are not there and taking your horse for a ride.


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## drafts4ever (Sep 1, 2009)

iridehorses said:


> The word "incompetent" comes to mind.
> 
> Sounds like a horse stalker! Something of a child who can't have what she thinks she wants and becomes obsessive about it. Be careful and put a note on the stall door that says *"No one to ride this horse without me present or without written permission"*. That may preclude her showing up when your trainer or you are not there and taking your horse for a ride.


Good idea! I'll do that today and no later than today. Incompetent sounds about right. When I was 12 I took two lessons from him and I was never in the positions he has her or any of his other students in but he did put me on a horse that was less than broke and walked away and my mom said....NOPE. Then he disappeared and apparently is "teaching" again.


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## AussieDaisyGirl (May 21, 2009)

I can't agree with Iride more. The woman sounds like a basket case, a danger to herself and horses. I wouldn't let her near my horse with a ten foot barge pole. Definitely have that sign put up, and let your trainer know and anyone around the barn know about this little bunny boiler.


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## BackInTheSaddleAgain (Apr 20, 2009)

Huh.... she sounds kinda weird.... and a little creepy. lol
I would want her far from my Clyde!


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## Jessabel (Mar 19, 2009)

I understand where you're coming from. I do NOT share Victor and I make sure everyone knows it. lol I never grew out of the "mine" phase.

What an obnoxious girl. I don't think it's a matter of her being over obsessed, but more like she's being pushy and in-your-face simply because that's the way she is. She sounds really creepy, quite honestly. I don't understand why anyone would want to ride someone else's horse when they already have their own. If I was in your situation, I would probably be extremely nasty to that girl, especially if I tried being nice at first and it didn't get the message across. I have no patience for people like that. :?


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## mountainhorse44 (May 26, 2009)

Oh my word! That is just crazy! She sounds like a real nutcase :? I wouldnt let her anywhere near my animals.. Do you think you could file a restraining order against her? Did you save her emails, texts and phone calls? You could use em in court.


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## Thatgirlsacowboy (Aug 17, 2009)

Well... That's frusterating. Honestly, I never would have even let her come over to meet Caleigh. I've been leasing and riding other peoples horses for the entire time I've been riding. After I got Cricket I swore I wouldn't do ANYTHING to help ANYONE with their horse (ride, ect...) unless it was my horse or my best friends horses. Thats it. 

Bottom line, she's your horse. Not hers. I would completely ignore her. Break off any kind of contact from her, completely 100 percent. It's your right as the owner to allow who ever you want on your horse and she has no say in it. I would make that very clear to her, which you have...


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## nirvana (Sep 14, 2009)

Like how old is this girl? She sounds like an abnoctius (have no idea how to spell it)12 yearold. I would start to become very forcefull, not rude but over ruling. The reason why I may not want to be rude is because by the sounds of it god knows what she would do if you made her angry!

If she still lives with parents I would defenatly be talking to them.


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## easyluckyfree (Sep 28, 2009)

That's ridiculous, she acts like a child. Honestly, if I were you I'd yell at her over it. I wouldn't be nice about it, her persistancy is ridiculous and you're answer's not going to change by being pestered.


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## drafts4ever (Sep 1, 2009)

mountainhorse44 said:


> Oh my word! That is just crazy! She sounds like a real nutcase :? I wouldnt let her anywhere near my animals.. Do you think you could file a restraining order against her? Did you save her emails, texts and phone calls? You could use em in court.


My boyfriend suggested that. She has to have made some sort of violent contact that could endanger me or my animal in order for anything to hold up. System sucks.


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## drafts4ever (Sep 1, 2009)

nirvana said:


> Like how old is this girl? She sounds like an abnoctius (have no idea how to spell it)12 yearold. I would start to become very forcefull, not rude but over ruling. The reason why I may not want to be rude is because by the sounds of it god knows what she would do if you made her angry!
> *
> If she still lives with parents I would defenatly be talking to them.*


Ok so here's some fun stuff. She's 19, moved out at 17, her mom is some big shot millionair over on the east coast so to keep her daughter out of her life she's just been wiring her as much money as she needs for whatever whenever she wants it. So she spent it on two horses and renting a house with some land. Then her mom cut her off for a while so she freaked out and went to everybody with a horse she could find to try to bug some money out of them (luckily I wasn't one of those peope). Then her mom gave in and started up again, told her she'd get cut off unless she proved some sort of income. so she got a job 2 hours of a week, her moms cutting her off again and now I'm in the line of fire. Not getting asked for money because I went off on her loud for that (I give money to my animals and that's it...and my sister for her birthday). But her mom after showering her with all this money and not bothering to teach her any sort of budgeting is not cutting off all her funds until next summer. So she's basically the definition (and I hate stereotyping) of english show girl annoying spoiled brat. 

Sorry had to vent. I don't like to complain like I just did, normally I stay neutral....but she's not making it easy.


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## drafts4ever (Sep 1, 2009)

easyluckyfree said:


> That's ridiculous, she acts like a child. Honestly, if I were you I'd yell at her over it. I wouldn't be nice about it, her persistancy is ridiculous and you're answer's not going to change by being pestered.



I'm thinking of getting her to sign my riders liability release form that says I have to right to take away all riding privileges...but that also suggests she's allowed to ride in the first place and I don't like that chance. I'd love to yell at her but I'm not that type of person. I'd rather punch her at this point. lol.


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## Lucara (Apr 5, 2008)

To be honest I would make it very clear. Shes been coming to the barn asking to take your horse out when your not there. What happens when no one is there? I would make it very clear that if she continues to do this, you will contact the local police and have a restraining order put on her for the safety of your horse.

If she were to get on your horse while..say you all were at a show? or some time throughout the night, she could very seriously hurt Caleigh both physically and mentally.

I wouldn't have her sign anything like a riders liability form. With her mind set, she would most definitely see it as her free ticket to have at your horse whenever.

I would, without a doubt, tell her that you will put a restraining order on her if she continues to persist. (restraining order against her coming onto the property)


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## drafts4ever (Sep 1, 2009)

luckily the barn is locked when nobody is there but I see what you're saying. I've talked to my friends dad who's a cop and he said a restraining order would be hard because she's a horse and I'm not the one in danger but I might be able to do a no contact order which would cover any place she knows I might be at. There's a bunch of loop holes my dad (a lawyer) and him are going to look into. 
I just got back from the barn and they said if I wanted to I could put a padlock on Caleighs stall as long as they know the code.


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## Lucara (Apr 5, 2008)

I would perhaps suggest the padlock until things settle down a bit. I don't think you can be too careful. You could always remove it once she goes away or realizes shes stepped over the lines (if she can comprehend that)


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## drafts4ever (Sep 1, 2009)

that's what I was thinking. As long as the barn knows the code I can't see any problems. It's just what...another 10 seconds...to getting her out of her stall? It would certainly make me feel better.


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Wow, that is scary. She sounds like a very creepy, controlling person. I imagine that the poor guys she ends up dating are ready to kill themselves within a week. I despise controlling, spoiled people like that and I am sorry that you have to put up with her. A lock on Caleigh's stall sounds like a pretty good plan, especially if somehow, she were able to gain access to the barn with no one there.


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## iridehorses (Oct 22, 2007)

Actually, after reading the post about her parent and her life, I can see her problem. She has no guidance and may actually be looking for someone to set some rules. Although I can see your predicament, my heart goes out to her. She hasn't had the love, nurturing and values that you obviously have. That isn't to say that you shouldn't lock up your horse, just understand where her values are - she is given things rather then a family and doesn't understand boundaries since there was no one to teach her.


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## dressagebelle (May 13, 2009)

I feel bad for her, and I was in the same position a few years ago with my Thoroughbred. I had a very sweet TB, but she was a handful for most people, including me, so while I didn't mind having some of my more experienced friends ride her, so I could see her being ridden, ect., I did not want one of the inexperienced girls at the barn riding her. She would beg all the time, and I always refused because I did not want the liability, or the responsibility of making sure she and my horse were safe. She had a gelding that her dad (who's a doctor apparently) got her from a feed lot somewhere, who was 2 at the time, and completely unsafe. She had me handling him for her, and I used a stud chain on him, because he would charge, and he would rear and try to strike out at you, and she freaked out about the fact that I was "hurting" him with the chain, and then had me stop getting him out when he ended up freaking out about a horse unloading from a trailer. He freaked because she had never corrected him before when he did, and he ended up swinging his head into my face, and he narrowly missed hitting my eye with the chain, but he did end up hitting the corner of my eye, and I have a nice scar as a reminder. Her excuse was "I know you can handle him, but I don't want him to hurt you again". I understand how annoying, and how concerning it is dealing with someone like that. I would definately put a lock on your horse's stall, as well as signs, and definately make sure that all people who need to know, know about her, as well as a description if needed, for the sake of your horse. Best of luck, and hopefully she ends up leaving you alone.


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## FGRanch (Feb 9, 2008)

If you are not afraid of losing her as a friend tell her what you really think. Be honest.


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## drafts4ever (Sep 1, 2009)

Well she was never a friend. I don't befriend people like that. she's an acquaintance I've tried to stay far from. I don't even remember why she got my number? I've told her straight what I think and she just seems to shrug it off. I put a lock on Caleighs door and all the trainers and BO know the code and what this girl looks like. They also have full permission to forcefully remove her from the property (that's what the local cop I talked to said). So hopefully this will be over with soon. I'm going back to work starting tomorrow and I don't want to be 45 minutes away and get a call "uh yeah so Caleigh's missing". ya know?! Everyone knows my hours, they have the clubs number, the club owner/managers number and mine.
I hate stress like this. 
On one hand I feel bad she was never taught anything better than what her mom has given her but on the other hand I'm not going to stand in the line of fire anymore and it needs to stop now.


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## roro (Aug 14, 2009)

Putting a lock on your horse's stall door is not a good idea. If there is a fire or other emergency, people will need to open the stall door quickly without worrying about a combination. I would talk to your barn manager or the property owner about what they can do, such as forbidding her from the barn. You can also post a very clear message regarding the issue on your stall door, showing a picture of her and saying that she is not allowed to handle this horse and if you see her with this horse than contact so and so immediately (with barn manager permission).


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## drafts4ever (Sep 1, 2009)

True. I thought of that. But as someone else pointed out, if she were to somehow gain access when nobody is there...then what? a note isn't going to do much if she's the only one there. I can't think of any other options. We have those big bolt cutter things. If you can suggest something. I'm going to the most extreme scenarios of course, but I don't want it to escalate into something reallllllly bad.
I've already told her she's not welcome at the barn anymore.


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## drafts4ever (Sep 1, 2009)

So I called the barn owner and had her take the lock off the door. She said there will be cameras installed by the end of this week anyway for security purposes for everybody and everything should be covered. I didn't know there were going to be cameras, I never thought of a barn with security cameras but that's a good idea. She said there's going to be live feed hooked to the office with an entry alarm for after hours. I guess it's been her families plan for a while but couldn't find a good weather proof system until just recently. 
that makes me feel a lot better. 
She said next is a code gate for the entrance but they need to do some landscaping in order to place it. That's what I love about this barn. The whole family lives there, along with family friends who help and there is pretty much 24 hour care if needed. AND the people actually give a crap about all the horses instead of just their own! At other barns I checked out and I've ridden at, boarders only cared about their horses and nobody else existed...if someone needed help...too bad. not here!

I still hate how a compliment at a show and the after schooling bbq 7 years ago lead to this! Never woulda thought that.


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## upnover (Jan 17, 2008)

wow. i'm going to have to agree with iridehorses on this one though. she sounds like a kid with horrible parenting, no boundaries, who deep down is probably miserable and terribly lonely. is it possible she doesn't have any real friends or people who care about her? my heart goes out to her. would i let her ride my horse? no. maybe you're going to have to pick up where her mother has failed- be the one who has to teach her some boundaries. no means no. and remember, you don't have to answer her texts either.


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## justsambam08 (Sep 26, 2009)

upnover said:


> maybe you're going to have to pick up where her mother has failed- be the one who has to teach her some boundaries. no means no.


That's putting a big (and inappropriate) burden on someone who doesn't even want to deal with her....why should she have to deal with this girls lack of boundries and lack of proper parenting? Not to mention showing her any kind of attention will just egg her on. I agree in general to distance yourself from her, and if she continues to come around, it might have to come to just being blunt and just shy of mean for her to get the message loud and clear.


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## drafts4ever (Sep 1, 2009)

I'm not answering her texts or anything anymore. If I see her what should I say? I've already said she's never riding no way no how? The trainer and barn owner has said she's not welcome here/there. I'm not sure what else to say? Suggestions? 
Her showing up is what really worried me. I just want to rewind and skip the schooling show. I wasn't going to go until my mom told me I was signed up to ride T-hunder (silly way to spell it) and he was my favorite horse at that barn.


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## justsambam08 (Sep 26, 2009)

Well if you see her, make a point not to make eye contact etc, and then if she still comes over and tries to make a conversation about Caliegh, ask her why she thinks shes so entitled to something that's not hers. Most likely it will shut her up, and if she says something about you being friends, simply respond that "a friend would understand why i don't want just anyone riding her" and walk away.


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## kiwigirl (Sep 30, 2009)

I totally understand not letting others ride your horse! I am very possesive of Phoenix and can proudly say the only other person to have ever sat on her is my husband ( and that was because I was away working and he had no other way of doing the job that needed doing). Under normal circumstances not even hubby gets to ride my baby. The chick sounds very strange, does she think that she is going to show you how your horse 'should' be ridden or something. She sounds arrogant actually.


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## drafts4ever (Sep 1, 2009)

*I wouldn't doubt it*



kiwigirl said:


> I totally understand not letting others ride your horse! I am very possesive of Phoenix and can proudly say the only other person to have ever sat on her is my husband ( and that was because I was away working and he had no other way of doing the job that needed doing). Under normal circumstances not even hubby gets to ride my baby. The chick sounds very strange, *does she think that she is going to show you how your horse 'should' be ridden or something.* She sounds arrogant actually.


yeah probably and if ANYBODY other than a certified instructor tells me how to ride they get a horse butt in their face...well maybe not that but it ****es me off. Unless you're a trained professional or I'm doing something EXTREMELY dangerous I don't take correction well, especially from someone who doesn't know what the hell they're doing anyway!


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## drafts4ever (Sep 1, 2009)

justsambam08 said:


> Well if you see her, make a point not to make eye contact etc, and then if she still comes over and tries to make a conversation about Caliegh, ask her why she thinks shes so entitled to something that's not hers. Most likely it will shut her up, and if she says something about you being friends, simply respond that "a friend would understand why i don't want just anyone riding her" and walk away.


If I see her I'll give it a try. I'm not normally a confrontational person but I'll do anything at this point to get rid of her. So far she hasn't tried to contact me within the past week. She stopped by the barn last Saturday to give me a birthday present. She left it with my trainer cuz I was down the street at the gas station with Caleigh getting Coffee. Good thing she didn't see me there when she drove by! That would have been a mess. She gave me a "Draft Lovers Book of Horses". Good book. I skimmed it. Infact the barn owner told her "thank you but you're not welcome here anymore. I'll give her the present and tell her it's from you" 

I'm HOPING that's why I haven't heard from her.


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

I don't handle things like that very well but what I would do is if she approaches you, just look her right in the eye and don't say anything. Regardless of what she says to you, just continue to stare at her as if she were an amoeba and keep your lips sealed. It usually doesn't take very long for the person to get INCREDIBLY uncomfortable and usually when I use this method, they start to try to avoid me cause they think I'm creepy. But hey, whatever works. LOL. I am glad that they are getting a security system and cameras installed at your barn. It sounds like a wonderful place and hey, if all else fails and she takes Caleigh for a spin, it will be on camera and you could charge her with theft.


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## rockinhorseygal (Sep 30, 2009)

OMG

obsessed or what:?


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## dressagebelle (May 13, 2009)

Cameras are a very good idea. It would make me feel safer knowing that someone was there 24/7, and actually cared about the horses. Where my mare was, someone was supposed to be there all the time, but often times she would either leave for most of the night, or she would close herself up in the house, and not come out again until the morning. Sounds like these people are willing to do whatever is necessary to make sure that you and your horse as well as all the others are safe and happy. Hopefully she has at least gotten an inkling of the message, and decided to go away and think about it. Give Caleigh a hug for me.


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## drafts4ever (Sep 1, 2009)

I really like the place. Everybody looks out for eachother and like Smrobs said if she ends up getting to her I'll charge her with theft. Sounds about right to me? I'm hoping her no contact means she's just gone away and won't bug me about it anymore. 
I'll give Caleigh a hug. My cramps aren't going to let me ride for long so I think she might end up with a camera in her face instead of a work out tonight. Maybe all this stress is what is making my cramps so horrible this time. They've always been bad but ****!!!!


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