# Convincing husband to buy horse



## kenda (Oct 10, 2008)

Maybe try this: work out a budget for what it would cost you monthly in your area to keep a horse. Give yourself a little buffer for just in case. Then, agree with your husband that you will set aside that amount of money every month in a savings account. Do that for 6 months, a year, whatever it ends up being. At the end of that time, discuss with your husband how you've coped with that amount of money being unavailable every month. (Nice bonus, you may have your horse purchase price/tack money/emergency vet fund right there in the savings you've put aside)

I think your best bet is to be as logical and practical as possible. Don't expect your husband to be swayed by arguments involving a lot of emotion. If you've done the budgeting correctly and have still been living comfortably etc, there should be no reason for your husband to disagree.


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

Do you have anything to do with planning the budget in your household? If not, and you don't know where you stand financially, you'd better see the numbers before insisting on the purchase. Your husband might be right.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hang on Fi (Sep 22, 2007)

nikelodeon79 said:


> Do you have anything to do with planning the budget in your household? If not, and you don't know where you stand financially, you'd better see the numbers before insisting on the purchase. Your husband might be right.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is good advice. My husband is very supportive of my horses, but he has suggested that we liquidate the horses we aren't using. Sadly this includes my "old man" (20 years old) that no one uses and is just a pasture puff. This wouldn't be a problem, but he's a hardkeeper. We've tried everything with him, he just won't gain weight. His bone structure wouldn't really support a larger mass, but I feel that seeing his ribs makes him too skinny. 

I guess he's a little nervous because we are big into cars and have multiple cars, I brought 3 cars of my own to our marriage and he had around 6. Along with Logan he wants to sell 2 out of 3 miniature horses and the problem isn't the initial upkeep of the horses... It's the shots, the teeth, board fees, coggins, farrier, the no-end-tack-buying, and emergency calls. I'm thinking if my husband and I had a facility where we didn't have to board... he'd be more inclined to keep them.

When you create that buffer, be sure you have factored it in for a potential emergency...


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## newbierider (Mar 15, 2010)

do you have any other costly hobbies or habits especially unhealthy ones you could switch your horse upkeep for?

years ago my sister-in-law talked my brother into agreeing on her purchase, board and upkeep for a horse by giving up smoking.

I talked myself into a couple of years ago reasoning I had stopped smoking 3 years prior and the money i had spent on that could be used for a healthy, loving hobby....

I can't use it anymore because now there are 3 horses and a pony......


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## DimSum (Mar 28, 2012)

I'd ask him why he thinks the way he does and get his perspective. If his fears are about your total finances that gives you a place to start a discussion. Then sit down together and pull all the bills and figure out how much you actually have to work with. Write out a current budget, and don't forget to include putting money away in savings for emergencies and retirement. Also figure out just how much the horse will cost per month-including insurance for vet bills or the worst case. Then and only then will you be able to know if you can truly afford to own vs leasing.

Good luck!


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

It is forcing you to justify your proposed purchase from initial outlay to up-keep to "fit". This is a _good thing_. When all you get is, "if you want horse 'x', buy it", you don't have anyone to bounce it against - it is very frustrating.


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## Betty (Dec 17, 2012)

I manage our budget and we are currently spending $1100 per month on childcare. In Sept. next year my daughter will be going to kindergarten and that money will be free. So it is not like we will be missing out on anything from our current lifestyle. We are currently saving about $1000 per month towards retirement and emergencies. 

My husband said that there are better things to spend that money on. I don't want anything else - this is a lifetime dream and I am working very hard each day toward that goal. How can he say it is not important?

Oh and I don't have any other hobbies or habbits. I don't buy expensive clothes and try to buy everything for our household on sale or at costco to save money.

Can someone please give me the approx. monthly costs for these items and anything else I need to take into consideration. I live in the city where everything is extremely expensive (comparitive to New York City).

Board: $850 (includes hay, grain & bedding)
Weekly lessons/training: $120
Farrier (all 4 shod): 
Supplements:
Teeth:
Worming & shots:
Clipping/mane pulling (until I learn how to do it myself):
Tack repair (I will probably buy new initially):
Dressage show fees (only a couple of schooling shows at first)
Etc.

Thanks all!


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## AnalisaParalyzer (Apr 25, 2012)

shoeing can be anywhere form $100 to $300 fo all four depending on how extensive te work needed is. 
supplements will run you about 50-100 a month, maybe more if your horse has a chronic issue
teeth are around fifty a yr, sometimes more.
womring adn shots, yout looking at 400-700 a yr
clipping and pulling dependss on who you hire
tack repair/show fees- cant help
then youve got your emergency funds. and of course any place you want to tae your horse will cost money, and then theres the accessories you'll want....


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## CowboysDream (Nov 12, 2011)

See in my household I would get in trouble if I took that 1100$ and basically called dibs on it to put towards a horse. Because technically half of that would be his. You should also find out ways you could save money. 

Some ways I believe you can save money is:
- outside 24/7 board (opposed to stalled)
- dont bother paying someone to clip/pull manes, just learn to do it yourself from the beginning
- have your horse barefoot if he/she can be without causing soundness issues. Not all horses need to be shod on all 4.
- Buy used tack off kijiji 
- Make a deal with the barn to do part of the care for your horse for a discounted price
- if you are comfortable with it, you might be able to give your horse its vaccinations, I hear some people save money that way.

Figure out what you NEED for your horse for it to be 100% healthy, sound and happy. And figure out what would be WANTS / NICE TO HAVES. 

Then if you need more money/ assistance on paying for your horse you can always do small things to help save money or make more. Can you carpool instead of driving 2 vehicles (unless you do this already), take transit (if it saves you more), get a partboarder, get a better paying job, offer to help out at your barn for money or discount on boarding.


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## Fourteen (Jan 8, 2013)

CowboysDream said:


> See in my household I would get in trouble if I took that 1100$ and basically called dibs on it to put towards a horse. Because technically half of that would be his.


I agree with this.

Besides, if your extra money consists of $1100/month and your board is $850 plus $120 for lessons, that doesn't leave you with much extra for emergencies.

You have to factor in the time it will take you away from your family. Perhaps your husband will become jealous if you become increasingly engrossed in your equestrian pursuits. Owning and leasing are two different situations, and owning is definitely more demanding of your time and attention.

How much money does your husband spend on his hobbies? Do you have any hobbies that you share together? I realize this is your passion, but if it's going to cause friction in an otherwise happy marriage, it is NOT worth it.


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## verona1016 (Jul 3, 2011)

Setting up a realistic budget is important to getting a hesitant spouse on board 

If you don't know already, find out what it costs to maintain the horse you're currently half leasing (especially if buying her is an option). Consider the minimum level you'd be happy with (i.e. you'd be unhappy if you could keep the horse, but would be unable to take lessons or you couldn't afford the expensive joint injections a prospective horse needs to stay sound) and then also consider what you'd expect to spend over the course of a year if you do everything you want to (show fees, hauling, training, etc.)

If "financial ruin" is your husband's biggest concern, be sure to include major medical insurance in your budget. There's very little aside from emergency vet visits that can't be planned and budgeted. But, if you know you only have to cover a $300 deductible should something happen it's much less frightening.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

I don't mean this sarcasitically, so forgive if it sounds that way. If I had to board, and board would cost me $850 per horse - I would put in my proposal - "move".
If I could not move, I would put in my proposal - how far do I have to drive to reduce that cost, and how much is the gas there and back. I mean, $850? I would also put in my proposal 2 horses at $1700, as compared to a mortgage on a house w horse property in "x place".


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## jamesqf (Oct 5, 2009)

Missy May said:


> I don't mean this sarcasitically, so forgive if it sounds that way. If I had to board, and board would cost me $850 per horse - I would put in my proposal - "move".


Yeah, $850 is my mortgage payment on a place that could support two or more horses. Though I keep mine at a friend's place, most of my neighbors have or have had anywhere from two to five.

Also agree about the emergency vet bills. As the owner of a "free to good home" horse that ran up bills somewhere north of $5K, I know from experience this is a real possibility.


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## SnowCowgirl (Jun 3, 2010)

I think it's important to realize that you CAN keep things cheap, if you try. There will always need to be an "emergency" fund, but you can supplement this by keeping costs down in the meantime.

This may sound silly, but when looking to buy your horse, look for an "easy keeper" with good feet. Sucks to limit your buying possibilities, but you WILL save money. For example, I live in a northern climate and my horse is outside 24/7. She is a fat, healthy, 13 year old mare. She goes barefoot year round because she has excellent feet, and is on zero supplements (not even grain, except when I'm working her hard every day). She does just fine on free-choice hay.

I realize that this is not a possibility for many horses, but I also feel that sometimes people tend to pour money into horses for reasons that are not really essential. 

24/7 turnout is cheaper, as well as healthier for the horse.

I've been riding for my entire life, and most of my tack has been second hand. I have a very hard time justifying buying new when they are so many great advertising websites to buy from (kijiji, ebay, craigslist), and lots of second hand tack shops around. 

Show fees will depend - here, I think dressage classes are about $10 each.

I cant comment on shots because we don't do vaccinations here (located very far north with small horse population). You will need at least a once-yearly coggins test though. Those are quite cheap I believe (expensive here though). We worm our horses ourselves 2x/year for around $10 each time. I've heard you can give some vaccinations yourself, and purchase them online for much cheaper than getting the vet to do it. 

and definitely just learn to pull manes/clip yourself, it's really not very hard


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## PaintHorseMares (Apr 19, 2008)

Missy May said:


> I don't mean this sarcasitically, so forgive if it sounds that way. If I had to board, and board would cost me $850 per horse - I would put in my proposal - "move".





SnowCowgirl said:


> I think it's important to realize that you CAN keep things cheap, if you try. There will always need to be an "emergency" fund, but you can supplement this by keeping costs down in the meantime.
> 
> This may sound silly, but when looking to buy your horse, look for an "easy keeper" with good feet. Sucks to limit your buying possibilities, but you WILL save money. For example, I live in a northern climate and my horse is outside 24/7. She is a fat, healthy, 13 year old mare. She goes barefoot year round because she has excellent feet, and is on zero supplements (not even grain, except when I'm working her hard every day). She does just fine on free-choice hay.
> 
> ...


I agree with both of these. Our mares are at home with us and are all 'low maintenance', barefoot and grass/hay diet. Looking at our yearly expenses including hay, feed, vet, supplies, barn/fence maintenance, etc., the average we spend is only about $2/day/horse. _Much_ cheaper than children.


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