# Barn and stable drama....



## cher40 (Nov 19, 2010)

Does your place of boarding have lots of drama? I have never boarded before and I have a client that boards at a different barn then me. She was telling us of all the drama that goes down there on a daily basis. She's thinking of moving her daughter out of there. 

Then I went and toured another barn today and the owner ( a woman wanting to retire) brought up that there's always something going down and she's tired of the drama. She even said something is going to come out in the spring...meaning??? Not sure what that was about but I couldn't deal with it. lol

My barn seems to be okay other than a few conflicts when the dressage girls are in the indoor arena. Other than that its pretty quiet. I don't like drama and I just want to ride.

You don't have to get into details just wondering if this is what other boarders deal with.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

The only one I have been at where there was drama was a large h/j show barn. They all were teenage primadonnas. They were nothing more than spoiled little rich girls. I hated it there. I too, just wanted to ride my horse.

So, in my mind there is a direct correlation between the number of teens and the drama. :wink:


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## LoveStory10 (Oct 31, 2009)

Lol yes, us teens are known for our drama!!

We dont have much drama at our barn, as we dont often see anyone else there lol


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## WalkerH (Nov 22, 2010)

That is why I have always been wary of boarding at bigger show barns. I waited until I could keep a horse at my own house, which will happen this summer, before I would get a horse. I am not a fan of drama, and don't like to be involved in it. But with my sister she is like a drama creator and I have to hear about that where ever I go.


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## Skipsfirstspike (Mar 22, 2010)

I usually try to board at small facilities with few other boarders. Teens or not, I think whenever you get a large group of horse people together there will be drama. If there are 40 boarders, then there are many different views and ideas about how and where you should ride and train, and probably lots of unsolicited advice!!


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## cher40 (Nov 19, 2010)

Sometimes I wish I had waited to have my own land before purchasing. Soon, I hope. 

I actually find its grown adult woman acting like divas. Everyone trying to tell you how to do this and that, critiquing, judging, complaining...lol. My husband says they act "mare-ish" lol.


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## Beau Baby (Oct 28, 2008)

Yes at bigger barns there will be drama. I hate when people say its the teens at barns that cause drama because I'm a teenager and I try my hardest not to cause drama when I board at a barn. I know 2 other teens at my last barn who hated drama as well. Its a terrible stereotype. I notice it is adult women who cause a lot of the drama. Like cher40 said, people are always gonna be trying to tell you how to do something better or differant. I've noticed at boarding barns women especially hate this! Not trying to be sexist as I am a female teenager so will be a woman one day.


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## BarrelracingArabian (Mar 31, 2010)

my barn has quite a bit of drama but just becasue us girls dont like a certain trainer and sometimes the BO gets extremly moody and takes it out on us .


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## EmilyandNikki (Sep 7, 2010)

Our drama usually has to deal with people from other barns hahaha every now and then something will happen at our barn, but for the most part, it's about what this person said/did at this show to one of our people, or how this person believes shes queen, and this one from our barn wins etc.


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## Reiterin (Mar 28, 2010)

We are all working adults at our barn (mostly) I think we only have one teenager/kid, not including children of the boarders. All of us are also "backyard horse owner" types (assuming any of us had our *own* back yards to keep them - which we don't. that's why we board!) 
There is very little drama! 

Plus, I have a very different schedule than anyone else. I'm almost always out there alone. and I don't communicate unnecessarily with the others, sooo.... it's almost like having a Whole barn to myself.


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## dashforcache (Nov 2, 2010)

lol, this is kinda funny i have been to many barns and my current one is the only one that has been dramatic and when i say dramatic...i mean DRAMATIC!


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## erinxallxover (Jun 21, 2010)

Most of the riders where I ride are youths/teens and honestly we never really have any drama.

However, we are a fairly small barn in a fairly small town, (;


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## Alwaysbehind (Jul 10, 2009)

I do not think there is a barn that does not have drama. Period.

How bad the drama is fully depends on how the BO deals with people who cause drama.

If drama gets you (general you) what you want then the drama producers continue to produce.


If you think about it, drama is inevitable. Large group of diverse people who the only thing they have in common is a desire to keep their horse at that facility. Add a dash of competition and a pinch of self confidence issues and poof, drama abounds.

I do not disagree that teens do cause quite a bit of the drama at any given place but I think the worst drama producers are the mothers. The parents who are far from reality and think their darling princess is the best and does nothing wrong.


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## lessonhorse (Nov 29, 2010)

I have clients at several barns, and I think the larger the barn the more drama. I unfortunately think to an extent when you get a bunch of girls or women together there is Drama.

That being said I have a small facility....I have 3-4 lesson kids here everyday and 2-3 adults coming out to ride. I take horses in training and lease horses out, so only have 2 boarders. I have never had drama at my barn, because I won't tolerate it. A few months ago I had a new adult student come in with two horses for me to train. Over time drama started to build. I asked her to leave, and the drama is gone.

I also lay down the law with my show kids. If they do not respect one another, myself and their parents then they don't go to the shows.

So find a barn where the BO/trainer won't tolerate it.


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## leonalee (Jul 1, 2010)

As a barn owner, we have been lucky enough to see both ends of the spectrum and we seem to have been lucky enough to get in a group of people that mesh well together and have respect for others . It seems that the more high-strung the barn, the more high-strung the people it attracts, you know? 

Most of the drama that occured in the past was either a: the result of teenage girls :twisted: who "own" their own horses (you know, the ones who's parents buy them a horse and pay the board, but the kids "own" the horse? there used to be several here), b: horse owners who feel that it is okay to not pay board for no reason. The former drove everybody bonkers. The latter just drove us bonkers and bewildered the people who actually loved their animals and felt inclined to pay for their needs (as any horse _owner_ should). I know not all teenage girls with horses think it is okay to be rude to anyone and everyone, but we've seen it more often than not. Especially in the scenarios where the parents are equally used as verbal punching bags, and like AlwaysBehind said - the mom's who think their girls do no wrong. 

For a short time we allowed one of the formerly "teenage" boarders to come back and board her horse, believing that since she was now almost 20 she had grown up. Apparently not. Thankfully, it didn't take long for her to realize that she just didn't fit in here (and frankly, our barn is "boring" as far as drama is concerned) before she left. While I'm sure this doesn't apply to all teenage horse owners, it seems that the mix of hormones and semi-attentive parents who spoile their daughters makes for girls with monstrous egos who know-it-all.


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## sarahver (Apr 9, 2010)

I love my BO dearly, she is one of my closest friends that I have here in Texas having only lived here for a year. She is one of the sweetest most caring people I have met, here or anywhere else around the world. She will bend over backwards to help a friend, loves her horses more than anything and makes her place a wonderful place be around.

Drama is one thing she doesn't tolerate. There have been a couple of instances where unnecessary heartache was caused by others and she swiftly and professionally got rid of the source of the problem. And I mean swift - in one case the person left within 48 hours of being asked to leave. 

Suits me as I hate drama - I don't cause it and I don't perpetuate it.

Sometimes we giggle when we hear of the drama endured in other stables, we just sigh and say 'horse people - what can you do?'


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Seriously, you stick 20 to 40 females together (throw in the odd horse owning male) ranging in ages anywhere from preteen to dotage and you _don't_ expect there to be some sort of drama? 

C'mon folks, that many crazy horse owning females in one small area just _breeds_ crying, screaming, tantrums, personality clashes, cliques, and other assorted mayhem! 

I don't 'do' drama. My last boarding barn was a small, privately owned Arabian breeding farm, and the owner only had 2 boarders; me and another woman. The other boarder was all about drama, but since neither the BO nor I was into it, her hissy fits always fell on deaf ears. 

I keep my horses at home now, and I love it. I have no problem finding folks to ride with, and if someone starts something, I load up my horse and go home. Ah, peace!


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## ~*~anebel~*~ (Aug 21, 2008)

I board at a 26 stall barn (so fairly large for the area) and there is very little if any drama ever. We are a very tight knit group and the barn owner/head trainer is totally chill and easy to talk to. She is huge about taking proper care of the horses but understands that there are boundaries and does not tell you wha tto do with your horse unless you ask her opinion. It is such an amazing atmosphere and although we have different philosophies on things, use different farriers and vets, we are quite close friends.

However I have boarded at some facilities with like 5 to 10 boarders where there is an amazing amount of drama. The BO is usually a bit of a nutcase and tells people what to do with their horses. 

I find that the amount of drama rarely has to do with the amount of people or who is boarding there - but it has to do with the BO and how they manage the place and how mentally stable they are


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## Zimpatico (Nov 5, 2010)

~*~anebel~*~ said:


> I find that the amount of drama rarely has to do with the amount of people or who is boarding there - but it has to do with the BO and how they manage the place and how mentally stable they are


 
Exactly... Leading by example.


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

leonalee said:


> b: horse owners who feel that it is okay to not pay board for no reason. The former drove everybody bonkers. The latter just drove us bonkers and bewildered the people who actually loved their animals and felt inclined to pay for their needs (as any horse _owner_ should).


Sorry - that is not drama - that is business. It's between the BO and the horse owner - no one else.


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## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

There's always 1 in every barn... For the most part my barn is quiet but there is always 1 that makes life hard.


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## leonalee (Jul 1, 2010)

mls said:


> Sorry - that is not drama - that is business. It's between the BO and the horse owner - no one else.


In a "normal" situation, I'd very much agree with you. You'd have to understand our experiences to see why I call it drama. Plus - didn't I say "drama to us", as in _us, the barn owners_? Extenuating circumstances around the situation made it bewildering to our boarders :shock:


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## Delfina (Feb 12, 2010)

This is why I board with my trainer, as the only boarder, there is absolutely no drama. Quiet, peaceful and if I cannot make it out to the barn because of my medical issues, I have zero worries about my horses. I also love that my trainer knows exactly what is going on with my horses since she cares for them.


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## chevysmum (Sep 30, 2009)

Same situation as delfina- no drama. Peace and quiet all the time. Couldn't deal with drama on a daily basis personally. My time at the barn is for me and my horse to enjoy!!


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## cher40 (Nov 19, 2010)

I like my BO. She takes all complaints seriously and is genuinely concerned if something is amiss at her farm. However, there are top level dressage horses and their high spirited owners that think they own the facilities and you better get out of their way when they are in the building. 

Can't wait for spring so we can ride on the trails in peace...lol.


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## Katesrider011 (Oct 29, 2010)

My horse is at my house so I don't have to worry about that with my horse. But I do take lessons, but I haven't seen much drama at the barn. The worst I saw was when some girl who thought she was so high and mighty, thought a horse that was doing perfect for her wasn't doing good enough, and sold it for a green horse. A lot of people tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn't listen. But whatever, her choice and not mine. All and all I love the barn I take lessons at, the people are great!


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## A knack for horses (Jun 17, 2010)

Being the only "student" under my instructor... I don't get any drama. I like it that way, because I hate drama. 

I've heard of lots of drama at other barns, most of which is caused by the younger female boarders. And there are a lot of "princesses" in my area. When I was with my old instructor, there were girls that thought they were the queen of sheeba, and everybody must bow down to them and give them whatever they want. It was fun instructing those kids, :twisted:.


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## Solo (Jul 16, 2008)

The first barn I boarded at, we started with about 15 boarders. I was the only teenager although there was one girl in her early twenties. There was so much drama you would never believe! It was mostly between the BO and each of the boarders but what would happen is that they would all get together and gossip about the BO and tell stories and take sides. I stayed out of it completely.

In the end, 90% of them left. There were three women and me but then I left. Unfortunately the three women who stayed were the three who were never at the barn. Although this was awesome for me (come on, who wouldn't be thrilled with an entire 20 stall barn, indoor arena, outdoor arena, turnouts etc. all to themselves?) Most of the time I was the only one there and the BO basically let me have the run of the place because she liked me and knew I didn't get involved in the drama. 

Now that I'm off at school I found a new barn to keep my girls. I love this new place and fortunately there is not a whole lot of drama. Aside from the turkeys escaping and wreaking havoc! All the people there are great.

I think it really does depend on how many boarders, how many teenagers, the type of barn, and the BO. SO many variables!


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## fuadteagan (Jun 10, 2010)

Well we have no drama and if there is then i just dont pay attention i would rather spend time with my horses and if there more intrested in the barn drama than there horses then stay away from them that is what i do not reason not to go to a nice barn dont worry about barn drama it is just something for people to do because there spoiled and rich and get there precious ponies from there parents paying nothing while we are working our butts off not to get bucked off our huge thoroughbreds because if they want to spend more time chatting about this or that then they are not a real rider or horse lover or a good rider trust me there will always be drama everywhere but if you ignore it then you dont have to worry about this or that


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## Five Furlongs (Feb 7, 2010)

I used to be at a barn with a TON of drama. I think the bigger the barn the more drama. I am now at a small barn and there is very little to no drama. It's so nice. I went back to visit the other barn and there was so much tension there I forgot how much I hated it! lol


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I don't permit it and make that clear in the beginning. I rode at a show barn as a teen and the owner was strict regarding that. We did what we could to support other riders. If an individual couldn't show for some reason he/she pitched in to help those who could show. It was barn pride.


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## Tymer (Dec 28, 2009)

The drama we have here is either really really bad or really really...Not a big deal.

Recently we had a whiny little girl whining about not getting to ride a horse that she rode twice when the normal rider was away. The BO said "Look, if you're gonna b**** about this horse, go pay more money somewhere else with better horses."

Then we had this whole thing with an expensive as heaven itself warmblood...And the spoiled brat that got to ride him. Long story short, she couldn't ride the horse worth crap and took out her anger at the horse. Slapped the poor thing silly when it made angry faces from the girth. She had to spur him every stride to get him going. The only reason she rode this horse is because the OTHER horse (that's right, two horses) she full leased was still sort of injured. And no one was allowed to ride either of the two horses. She got all spoiled and what not...Pitched a fit when things didn't go her way. Lo and behold, when she gets kicked off the horse so another girl can ride him, a huge fit happened. Lo and behold, the complaining stops as soon as her old horse was good enough to be jumped high again she couldn't care less about the WB...
The brat gets mad when she doesn't get to jump high (aka 3ft) the whole lesson. Every day. She's really not that good of a rider, she just has a good position and a godly horse. She doesn't have the muscle or patience to ride anything that doesn't give her handouts.

Bah. Rant done. Yeah...Drama is awful.


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## SissyGoBob (Oct 17, 2010)

My barn has a lot of drama. There are about 10 people who like to drink there (why i have no idea) and they get really crazy and mean and do stupid stuff. They cause it ALL. It's usually about me, because I'm 16 and have a boyfriend and work about 6 horses out there and get paid pretty good money. They, drink and drink, and drink...... anywho, yes we have lots of drama.


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## JustPaint (Sep 27, 2010)

Speed Racer said:


> Seriously, you stick 20 to 40 females together (throw in the odd horse owning male) ranging in ages anywhere from preteen to dotage and you _don't_ expect there to be some sort of drama?
> 
> C'mon folks, that many crazy horse owning females in one small area just _breeds_ crying, screaming, tantrums, personality clashes, cliques, and other assorted mayhem!
> 
> ...


SR I so agree!


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

SissyGoBob said:


> My barn has a lot of drama. There are about 10 people who like to drink there (why i have no idea) and they get really crazy and mean and do stupid stuff. They cause it ALL. It's usually about me, because I'm 16 and have a boyfriend and work about 6 horses out there and get paid pretty good money. They, drink and drink, and drink...... anywho, yes we have lots of drama.


Hate drama, but would hate this behavior even more! I would be outta there in a flash. Just wouldn't like them around me or my horse...and yes, I do drink...just a bit more appropriately. I would seriously wonder about that BO, but JMHO.


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## sarahver (Apr 9, 2010)

SissyGoBob said:


> My barn has a lot of drama. There are about 10 people who like to drink there (why i have no idea) and they get really crazy and mean and do stupid stuff. They cause it ALL. It's usually about me, because I'm 16 and have a boyfriend and work about 6 horses out there and get paid pretty good money. They, drink and drink, and drink...... anywho, yes we have lots of drama.


Reminds me of a barn not far from where I have my horse - always alcohol and/or drug fuelled drama.

People stealing money/tack, sleeping with other people's spouses, being arrested for cocaine offenses, stints in jail.....

I have no idea how any of them have any time for the horses. I would NEVER board there but I must admit that the stories coming out of that place are always interesting.


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## SissyGoBob (Oct 17, 2010)

franknbeans (your name is cute) but anyways, yes I hate it. If it was a bad barn or if it was dangerous I would leave, but othwise I can't this on is half a mile from my house. The next barn closest to my house is 30 mintues away. I live on Fort Hood in TX.....

Sarahver that barn your talking about seems really crazy, I would definitly not keep my horse there.... These people drink, but we have never had anything like that. However I still hate the drama at my barn.


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## cher40 (Nov 19, 2010)

sarahver said:


> Reminds me of a barn not far from where I have my horse - always alcohol and/or drug fuelled drama.
> 
> People stealing money/tack, sleeping with other people's spouses, being arrested for cocaine offenses, stints in jail.....
> 
> I have no idea how any of them have any time for the horses. I would NEVER board there but I must admit that the stories coming out of that place are always interesting.


Oh my...wow! lol, there should be a reality series on this barn. :shock:


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

cher40 said:


> Oh my...wow! lol, there should be a reality series on this barn. :shock:


It could be called _As The Manure Turns. 
_


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## Tymer (Dec 28, 2009)

SissyGoBob said:


> My barn has a lot of drama. There are about 10 people who like to drink there (why i have no idea) and they get really crazy and mean and do stupid stuff. They cause it ALL. It's usually about me, because I'm 16 and have a boyfriend and work about 6 horses out there and get paid pretty good money. They, drink and drink, and drink...... anywho, yes we have lots of drama.


That reminds me of one of the younger (19) instructors at my barn. She rides and gives lessons on Saturdays every week, and almost every week she gets insanely drunk on Friday. Then when she has to do lessons she gripes about how bad she feels, and then often doesn't ride her horse cause she has a bad hangover.

Try not getting drunk every Friday. Maybe that'll help.

I LOVE the idea for that show. I'd watch that, even though I hate reality TV.


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## sarahver (Apr 9, 2010)

cher40 said:


> Oh my...wow! lol, there should be a reality series on this barn. :shock:


It would have to be shown very late at night methinks, as in after midnight.



Speed Racer said:


> It could be called _As The Manure Turns. _


Or perhaps "Real Cowgirls of Harris County" :wink:


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## lexypoohhorton (Oct 11, 2010)

I use to board a nice BIG barn..... but didnt fit in well, got made fun of ETC.... so i moved, didnt want to deal with it. now i just rent my own pasture (with arena and barn) and if i wanna ride with buddys we meet up the road or something.
I'm a teen, and hate drama first sign of it and im out. even if it wasn't about me, it would find its way around. barns are nice but only the quite kind......... if you dont like to much drama (like me) find a smaller place  hope i helped


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## justjump (Jan 18, 2011)

At the barn I train at, theres drama 24/7. With teenage girls, you can't escape it. It's always "my horse is the prettiest" "my horse is the biggest" "my horse jumps the best" "I've won this" blah blah blah. Just big personalities clashing, constant bragging, the usual I'm-better-than-you, my-horse-is-prettier etc. It's gotten old, I've just learned to be quiet, until I'm pushed to my absolute maximum. 

But like I said, with a bunch of girls, there's bound to be drama!


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## MercuryCrying (Jan 21, 2011)

There was a very old boarder at the place I board at currently and she was always snobby, so the owner made her leave, but overall, there is no drama at our barn


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## lexypoohhorton (Oct 11, 2010)

justjump said:


> At the barn I train at, theres drama 24/7. With teenage girls, you can't escape it. It's always "my horse is the prettiest" "my horse is the biggest" "my horse jumps the best" "I've won this" blah blah blah. Just big personalities clashing, constant bragging, the usual I'm-better-than-you, my-horse-is-prettier etc. It's gotten old, I've just learned to be quiet, until I'm pushed to my absolute maximum.
> 
> But like I said, with a bunch of girls, there's bound to be drama!


Very true...... I dont know if i could do it XD


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## cher40 (Nov 19, 2010)

sarahver said:


> It would have to be shown very late at night methinks, as in after midnight.
> 
> 
> 
> Or perhaps "Real Cowgirls of Harris County" :wink:


LOL...good titles. Maybe we should pitch it to Pet Network. I think it would be really entertaining.


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## justjump (Jan 18, 2011)

lexypoohhorton said:


> Very true...... I dont know if i could do it XD


I've grown up with these drama queen girls, I've been riding at the same barn for almost 10 years! We've all kind of learnt to keep our mouths shut, but there's always that one girl who just is incredibly rude:-|


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## SissyGoBob (Oct 17, 2010)

Oh you girls crack me up! I agree on the show... the name sounds great too.


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## sarahver (Apr 9, 2010)

Or even Animal Planet.... I guess Bindi Irwin would be too young to host...


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## ac0015 (Dec 29, 2010)

luckily, i havent had to deal with much drama as my barn is, for the most part, just a closely-knit group of people who are pretty laid-back. i dont board there, but im there enough to know  thats what i like about small barns. things are nice and simple. sure, every once in awhile you get a preppy rich girl who comes through and makes things slightly more difficult, but i ignore those people and they usually move out later to fancier barns anyway. not to say its always the teenagers, cause im one and dont like to start trouble :wink:. sometimes we even get older women who are especially gossipy/rude. people need to grow up sometimes ya know? :roll:


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## cher40 (Nov 19, 2010)

LOL...it would be a little too R rated for Bindi by the sounds of it. 

It's funny about the gossip thing too. I have been having issues with some of the horses we've gone to view for purchase and the funny thing is I only told the BO. Well everyone stops to ask me about it. Harmless stuff I don't really care that they chat about but it shows me how quickly news travels at the barn.


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## horselover22 (Jan 24, 2011)

Ah, drama! I agree with most of the posts: it's mainly teenage girls who are allowed by their parents to become little divas and don't know how to saddle their own horse or how to ride. But there are certainly adult women who act the same way; I always think they need to get a life. 
One barn I boarded at was full of drama; large barn with kids and adults always something going on. The stories (they were in business 39 years!) are endless and provided lots of laughs but there was plenty of really crazy stuff that went on too. 

My partner says barns are ongoing soap operas; especially since there are quite a few barns where I live and everyone has moved here and there over the years so most people know one anther. 

I'm finally at a barn where there's very little drama. I found it boring at first but now I really like it. The joke is now we have to hear what's going on at our barn from someone at another barn. There are still people who carry on the gossip chain for us so its fun some days. The current thread is that our main competitor down the road is selling her barn. Or rather her father is selling it since he bought it for his daughter.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

A woman bro't 3 kids, all around 10 to look at a saddle. The kids ran roughshod all over the yard absolutely ignoring her pleas to stay with her and mind their manners. She began talking about her horse and how it was trained but after 6 mos. she was still hand walking it. Why? Because I want her to love me. Definite parallel between kids and horse. This woman didn't want to be assertive in case either the kids or the horse didn't love her. I enlightened her that respect has nothing to do with love.


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