# Those Good Old Boys



## back in the crosby again (Feb 4, 2009)

I am not sure if this is the appropriate section, but it is the closest one I could pick out. 

Like many of you I am a horse crazy woman married to a man that could care less about the "beasts" as he calls them. I think the best way to put him to sleep is by talking about plans to put up fences, arenas, and barns. Due to this fact I do all the planning and research of how to build things and budget for what I want.

I do a lot of reading about fence building, structural loads, and general construction. I now feel fairly knowledgeable about such things even though I may not have done a lot of them practically. There are 2 farm supply places near my location and I frequent these places lot. When I go I usually know exactly what I want. Here steps in the good old boy. Time after time, I get these looks as if I don't know what I am talking about. Sometimes I will receive condescending advice, it is this that makes me really mad. 

For example, the other day I was pricing out some fence post for the corner posts of the arena I am building. All I asked was for the price on round fence posts and what sizes they have in stock. First he asked, "You building a fence?!" Yes (is this unusually that a person asking for fence posts to be building a fence?) Then I told him that I am looking for some larger 7-10 inch posts for corners and asked what they had in that range. His reply, "You know you have to put those 2 feet in the ground with concrete?" Yes, :-x of course I know that. At this point I still have not found out what they have or how much they are. He then goes on to give me advice on barbed wire to purchase, (no I did not say anything to him about barbed wire, I guess he just assumed that I would be using it). Eventually I got a little more demanding in my voice and asked again for the price of the corner posts they had in stock. He acted all put out and gave me the price, which I was kinda happy to find out was a good $5 over the other store, so I told him so. 

Has anyone else experienced this? At the time I was on my way to work (I teach college mathematics) and was dressed up a bit by farm store standards. I have found that if I go in my barn cloths then I get less of this, but I never feel like I am treated with respect. In general if there is a girl working I will try to talk to her, but sometimes they just turn around and give me back to the good old boy. My husband says that I am just oversensitive to it and should not get mad.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Depends on where you live, Crosby.

I live in the Good Ole Boy, Redneckville, backwoods area of Virginia where men are men, and women generally stay at home in the single wide and pop out babies. 

It's been an uphill struggle for me the past 6 years, since it's just assumed that a 'purty little thang' like me could never put up fencing, own and care for horses, work for a living, or -gasp!- afford a mortgage on my own. :?

People are either trying to set me up with the grizzled old bachelor down the road, or the grizzled old bachelors at the farm stores think I'm just _dying_ for their attention and help. Um, no. :-x

Your husband's a man, so of course doesn't see things the way you do. Believe me, the prejudice is out there.


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## gigem88 (May 10, 2011)

Wow! I guess I'm truly blessed to have a husband who has built me a barn with adjoining tackroom, an arena and a washrack! Next thing on the list is to get rid of the barbed wire cross fence. He even rides with me on occasion.

Dont' let the bubbas get you down, just make sure you talk slowly and in small words! LOL


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## DWStables (Jan 26, 2011)

It's been an uphill struggle for me the past 6 years, since it's just assumed that a 'purty little thang' like me could never put up fencing, own and care for horses, work for a living, or -gasp!- afford a mortgage on my own. :???:



Read more: http://www.horseforum.com/horse-stables-barns/those-good-old-boys-88663/#ixzz1OnW5cZvE

Stuff like that makes me want to pull a Mallory Knox(Natural Born Killers movie) And say sweetly"Are you flirting with me?" then proceed to kick the crap out of them in the middle of the store(or where ever)


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## back in the crosby again (Feb 4, 2009)

Speedracer, I live in the rural midwest and farm stores around here seem to be overflowing. 
It is either a good old boy, some young kid that just started work there and can't even check you out let alone answer your questions, or the fore-mentioned girls. I did just find out from my neighbor that his grandson just started to work at one (my preferred) of the farm stores. Maybe I will just go in any will only talk to him. He is a smart kid and grown up working along side my neighbor (who, by the way, is building part of said arena) and knows better then to treat me like just a girl . 

I am excited to have hay season starting so that I can start to buy my hay from my favorite hay guy. He not only has great hay, but does not ask the classic, "Where is your husband?" When I show up to get a load of hay by myself. First it is rude to assume I have a husband, second their my horses so why would my husband come buy hay? In fact, the one time I did send my husband to pick up hay he ended up paying this years hay prices to last years hay that I ended up throwing half of it out.


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## Tennessee (Dec 7, 2008)

I catch a lot of grief in my local farm stores because they are mostly old farmers who think women belong in the kitchen. I'll walk in there and ask for something and I'll usually get a "Where's your daddy, little girl?" response that ****es me off.

Not only with horses, but when I go in our archery/gun shop the guy that works there thinks I am clueless with weapons even though I CLEARLY outshot him when he challenged me to a little shooting competition. 

Oh yeah, and when I take my car to the mechanic for something they might as well think I am a walking statue. They'll try to tell me ten different things are wrong with my car, and I know better. I usually end up changing my own oil or getting my brother (who is VEERRRYYY car savvy) to fix whatever is wrong with it. 

I could rant on all day about how I do not like being treated like some fragile lil lady.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Well, there is an up side to it, too. I rarely have to load my truck at the feed store, and any time a woman is stopped by the side of the road, there will always be 3 or 4 giant pickemup trucks with men in 'em who are willing to stop and help her out. :wink:

There are several auto repair places that I frequent that don't try to give me the runaround, and I've found that people around here tend to be honest and not try to rip you off. Probably because they're all related, and it would get back to their mommas if they were dishonest!


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## Tennessee (Dec 7, 2008)

lol. The only way I know to use guys to my advantage is when I get pulled over for a speeding ticket I just start crying outrageously, and I usually get off of the hook. Except that one darn cop knows my family, so he gave me one anyways. Arrrgghh.


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

back in the crosby again said:


> Has anyone else experienced this? At the time I was on my way to work (I teach college mathematics) and was dressed up a bit by farm store standards. I have found that if I go in my barn cloths then I get less of this, but I never feel like I am treated with respect. In general if there is a *girl* working I will try to talk to her, but sometimes they just turn around and give me back to the good old boy. My husband says that I am just oversensitive to it and should not get mad.


Girl? Sorry - could not resist. I am see 'girls' being patronized due to age.

I get a lot of flack due to my size. No way a tiny person like you can . . . 

Oh yeah - watch me :lol:!


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## LetAGrlShowU (Mar 25, 2009)

Yes, i hate this! I dont get it from my hay guy, since i am the one who called, so i am the one who showed up.  But when buying feed, or especially when there is something wrong with my car (BTW i am a car fanatic, and could teach most of them a thing or two), ugh! The guys at the feed store are really nice, but i always get "Are you sure you've got that ma'am?" Umm, yes... who do you think is going to be at the barn unloading it?!

I am lucky in the sense that although my hubby isnt a horse guy, he doesnt mind coming with me to the feed store, to tractor supply, to get hay, etc. He even built me a nice sturdy mounting block for our anniversary! But i do dislike men thinking women dont know anything.


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

You touched on my all time pet peeve with this thread! I hate being told I can't do something because I'm a girl, especially if it's coming from a man. I get funny looks every time I go to the farm store. I'm usually with a pull cart in each hand stacked as high I could get them with shavings, feed, etc. I have a great hubby that always helps with major projects around the farm, but you can bet your butt that I'm right along side building fence, baling hay, driving the tractor & working my own arenas, etc. 

I had a good old boy moment a couple weeks ago at the bank. This older man (whose wife was riding in the back seat like Miss Daisy btw) gets out of his car and says to me "What on earth is a girl doing driving a big diesel pickup truck like that? Does your husband know you are driving his truck?" Oh man was I floored, I said "Nope, he doesn't know because it's MY truck that pulls MY horse trailer with MY horses in it. Does your wife know you are driving her grandma car???" He then proceeded to tell me that my mouth was as loud as my truck, funny how he felt when I flipped the script on him!


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## Tennessee (Dec 7, 2008)

MHFoundation Quarters said:


> I had a good old boy moment a couple weeks ago at the bank. This older man (whose wife was riding in the back seat like Miss Daisy btw) gets out of his car and says to me "What on earth is a girl doing driving a big diesel pickup truck like that? Does your husband know you are driving his truck?" Oh man was I floored, I said "Nope, he doesn't know because it's MY truck that pulls MY horse trailer with MY horses in it. Does your wife know you are driving her grandma car???" He then proceeded to tell me that my mouth was as loud as my truck, funny how he felt when I flipped the script on him!


 
Oh my gosh. I love you for this! I wish I could do that to men, but my mom would slap me silly if she found out I'd back talked/disrespected an adult.


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

Tennessee said:


> Oh my gosh. I love you for this! I wish I could do that to men, but my mom would slap me silly if she found out I'd back talked/disrespected an adult.


 
My mom would have slapped me silly too! Fortunately for me, I'm in my 30s & what mom thinks rarely crosses my mind anymore lol! I'm not normally as much of a smart*** but he opened the door & deserved a little back :lol:


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## back in the crosby again (Feb 4, 2009)

Oh, don't even get me started on the truck thing. 

I bought myself a 3500 diesel dually this winter to pull my trailer, pick up hay, shavings, etc. My husband's 150 just was not cutting the mustard anymore. Now I have a bigger truck then he does, but all he hauls around are motorcycles. I have gotten comments like "be careful with that big truck now". When I let my husband drives it, he get complements everywhere he goes. :? He just pipes up and says, "It is my wife's." I love him for that.


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## gigem88 (May 10, 2011)

Hahahaah Tennessee! Love it!


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

I love me some big trucks!

I'll be passing one on the road and drooling over it. Silly man driving thinks I'm interested in HIM! No dude, I just want your truck!


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## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

Here in Texas I don't really get that vibe often. Everyone (rurally) owns horses, guns and trucks. The only time I get treated like a "ma'am" is when I walk into the ultra manly stores like the welding supply (with 1980's posters of chicks in bikini's on car hoods) and the metal mart or concrete store. I don't mind though.... I love the look I get when they realize my "rig" is bigger than theirs. ;o)

I get more weird looks and crap about my breeches and boots than I do anything else. I know one day I will see my picture on the "people of walmart" website...:lol:


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## Opus (Jan 3, 2011)

I get it once in a while at a mechanic's, but then I break out some mechanics terminology, and they get that I know something about cars.

Of course, I'm in rural Ga., and down here the women work in the fields right along side their hubbies, or even have their own farms. So, Tractor Supply and the feed stores don't really take much notice of me. Then again, I'm pretty butch and have that 'I'll slash your tires, shoot your dog and make you watch' air about me, so, that could play a part. :lol:


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## Ladytrails (Jul 28, 2010)

I know what you mean. I am lucky in that my husband built all the fence and barns on our place himself with my help and our son's help. So, he's figuring out the stuff about weight bearing and how deep to sink the posts. But, he's asking me for my advice about what makes a good safe place for our horses and other livestock. 

Our farm stores see quite a few women who own horses so they've learned to deal with us. On the other hand, the mechanics are from another planet and I have 'fired' quite a few who tried to pull something on me because I'm a woman. Unfortunately, I do not know a lot about mechanical stuff but I am a businesswoman and do know how to talk to supervisors and get it straight eventually. If they don't treat me right I don't go back. 

My 26 year old daughter has apparently learned this from me; I found out recently that she has a "principles list" and if a business is on her "list" for screwing up somehow, she doesn't go back. Ha!


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## thesilverspear (Aug 20, 2009)

The Midwest/South really is a different planet. I'm from Colorado and used to drive an F-250 (*sniff* I miss it), like half the other horsewomen and men in the county. The only comments I ever got about it were the odd "Nice truck."


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## Dusty1228 (Dec 2, 2010)

Oh, you totally got me started with this post!!

I get this all the time, ESPECIALLY with mechanics. They DESPISE ME because apparently a 5'2" blond isn't supposed to KNOW the difference between a loose timing belt and a deep engine knock.

I just recently went through this with my car. Which yes, it's a girl car all the way. Teal 93 Pontiac Sunbird. She's my baby. I've had her for 7 years and I'll have her 7 more, I know her in/out/upside down. But, apparently, that is impossible for mechanics to believe.

I had the timing done a year ago, but the job was shoddy and I only started having misgivings when I asked the guy at the garage for a receipt and he looked at me like I was an idiot, then when I insisted, scribbled some nonsense on a torn off strip of yellow lined paper. I had gone to him on a friend's recommendation, dummy me. 

So, about 6 months later a ticking begins in my motor. Sounds pretty familiar. So, I run her in to the place that had always treated me fairly before. You know, as in LISTENED when I talked about what I suspected was wrong, etc. I've learned that you always have to give no room for their input or they WILL try to drag you down that long, expensive road, so I approach like this:

Hi, Steve, How are you? I just need you to check out my timing belt, it's come lose or frayed.

Ok, we'll check it out, but it will take a couple of days to get to.

No problem. I'll leave her here and walk, ok?

Great, we'll call when we figure out the problem.

Two days go by. I call.

Oh, we will get to it tomorrow and call you first thing in the morning.

I call the next day. At 3 pm after waiting all day.

'We checked your timing belt and it's fine. We've checked everything we can without dismantling the motor.'

'Were you going to CALL me?'

'Oh, we just were, we just got done. So, if you want us to start on the motor it's going to be $250 to tear it apart. If it needs to be rebuilt it's going to run $2000.'

'Ok, I'll just come pick her up for now.'

'Oh, well the timing cover is off and it will be late tomorrow before you can pick it up, we will have to put it back together if you don't want the motor checked out.'

'Ok, I'll call you right back.'

Instead of calling, I walk up to the garage, since it is on my way to work and I take my extra set of keys, pop the hood and guess what? Nothing's changed. The timing belt cover hasn't been removed, I can tell because the seal is the same brand new seal that was put on by the previous guy who botched the job. And, in fact my car is still sitting in the EXACT same spot it had been when I dropped it off. 

So, I go in and ask the guy about it since he had told me that it was dismantled.

He had absolutely NOTHING to say. His face got all red as he stuttered and then in very loud tones told me that I was being very immature about this whole thing by checking up on him.

I explained that I wasn't checking up on him, I was checking up on the progress of my $2000 repair. I then made him call his manager, who promptly refunded my $49.00 diagnostic bill, drove my car 2 miles another mechanic who, in 15 minutes said, 'Ayuh, that's your timing belt alright!' Replaced it, got my $300.00 and a smile and had my car back in two days. 

Sorry for the rant, it really just butters my muffin that people look at me and think I'm dumb. Either because of my stature, my sex or both. It's especially bad when I bring my boyfriend, who happens to be huge and manly, but knows NOTHING about cars or horses or... manly stuff. He can grow a pot of tomatoes that would knock your socks off, but I'm the one doing the tune ups and brake pads, ya know. They will look directly at HIM and answer the questions I asked.

Maybe if I had been blessed with bigger boobs I could at least get them to look in my direction while talking. Grrrrrrr.


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## serafina (May 5, 2011)

For your general amusement on this issue...


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