# how does one tell if they have a strong bond with there horse?



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

so, how does one tell if they have a strong bond with there horse? in most cases this is an opinion, but i was just wondering what everyone else considered a strong bond. by the way this is a VERY random question but i have been confused, what does PM stand for and how do you do this? lol, i know its a stupid question but...
thx in adv! =]


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## hollybee (Aug 14, 2009)

i feel i have a strong bond with all of my horses as they all neigh when i go to the field, they all come over to the gate, if i get off in the arena and let go of them they'll follow me round and most importantly i know that they trust me - i do a lot with my horses to ensure that they trust me and it has obviously taken time for them to be like this, especially my 5yo who was very nervy when i got him.

also, i think the showing of trust is different for every horse, my warmblood had previously been neglected i think (because of his personality when i got him) you couldn't touch his face (he has a big scar across his nose) and if you managed to touch his face, you couldn't get anywhere near his ears, also he is from holland so the way he had been trained really showed in his personality - he basically didn't have one ! (as they dont have any time spent with them, they are intensely schooled and then put back in their stalls) . . . the first year i had him i spent every day of my 6 week school holidays bringing him in, bathing him, brushing him, riding alone, and just generally spending a lot of time with him - i have had him for 2 years now, for about a year i have been able to touch his ears and just last week he suprised me by letting me get flies out of the inside of his ears ! (which has never happened before!) 
also, within the first month of having him he got conjunctivitis and i had to put eye drops in his eyes 2ce a day for a week - he practically reared up when the vet tried to put them in, and by the third day i was giving him his eyedrops without a headcollar on !
even though he is still funny with his ears sometimes, he's the one out of my 4 that follows me everywhere, trots or canters to the gate and neighs every time he see's me (even if i just walk into the barn to get something, he watches the door until i come out again and neighs). i have also heard that before i had him, every time someone tried to get on he bucked until he got them off (sometimes they didn't even get in the saddle) then he'd escape - i even saw him try to do that with his previous owner . . . i have been warey of this when i haven't ridden him for a while but thankfully he has NEVER bucked with me or tried to get away, and i think he's just one of those horses that clicks with one person - and i'm so so glad that i'm that person - only me and my mum can touch his face, and i trust him with my life, i know whatever we encounter he'll keep me completely safe !

What do you feel your bond is like with your horse ?


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## hollybee (Aug 14, 2009)

oh gosh sorry, i didnt realise id gone on that much !!


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## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

see im not sure, thats why i posted this :? i have had my horse for three yrs now and absolutely ADORE him!  i wouldnt trade him for anything in the world and if something happened to him i dont know what i would do...
i know i love him, and i would think he loves me back. i never do anything to put him in danger unless of course i had no idea what i was doing, and im always sweet to him, i always get nagged for being TOO nice. so...who knows? lol! he doesnt run up to the fence when he sees me, tho he does watch me approach and looks happy to see me, big blue eyes, ears pricked, but he doesnt neigh or anything. he follows me sometimes, but just sometimes. i dont get to see him everyday like some of the other lucky ducks on this forum, but i try to go down as much as possible. 

you know i always read about all of these great things to do w/ your horse like parelli or, i dont know just a bunch of bonding stuff that most people would do when you first get your horse but i didnt know about it at the time...i kinda feel like its too late to do some of it but i guess its never too late. do you guys think its too late to do some of this stuff, or do you guys go with the saying "its never too late" anyways, all i know is that i love my boy more than anything! wow this turned out longer than i thought lol! share your thoughts! thx! =]


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## PaintHorseMares (Apr 19, 2008)

When you're riding and you can trust your horse as much as you expect him/her to trust you, you have the bond of a lifetime, each taking care of the other.


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## RiddlesDarkAngel5 (Jun 2, 2009)

i know i have a strong bond with my horse for two main reasons: 1. he always comes to the gate when he sees my car and knickers; he'll shove his face into my chest for pats when i come into the pasture. 2. he really takes good care of me when we're riding. i helped him to gain confidence on the flat and reassured him when he needed it. now we're jumping and he's doing the same for me. see, i had some bad experiences with jumping and i've just started back up. last lesson my instructor had us canter the jumps instead of trot them. the first time i got so scared, right before the jump i just kinda threw the reins at him and held on. and what does my precious boy do? just calmly takes the jump and canters off waiting for instruction. we ended up doing the line 3 more times, each time with me more and more confident. i know my bond is strong with him because we understand each other. i take care of him when he needs it and he does the same for me. lol sorry this is so long. i just love this subject


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## RiddlesDarkAngel5 (Jun 2, 2009)

oo dont worry. i never did any "bonding games" with my horse and i can say with absolute certainty that me and Rocky have an extremely strong bond. i know this because he comes to me when he's anxious and seeks me out in the pasture just to say hi. he curls his head around me and wants pats when we're just hanging out. but the most important way i know this is by our time riding. he takes care of me like no other horse has before. its a two way street though. when i first got him and he was insecure i encouraged and reassured him. now that we've started jumping he's doing the same for me. just last lesson, my instructor asked me to canter a line (i had some awful experiences jumping on previous horses and i'm still really really nervous). so we round to the first jump and right before it i absolutely panicked and threw the reins to him, just clutching mane. and what does my precious boy do? he calmly takes the jump, canters away and waits for instruction from me. he jumped it so smoothly bc he knew i was scared. we ended up jumping that line 3 more times, each time i got more and more confident all bc he went so quietly and took care of me. i take care of him and he takes care of me. thats the kind of bond i have with him. 
it sounds to me like you and your horse are plenty bonded, but does this happen when your riding? does he seem to want to take care of you? i dunno how to really explain better. i hope this helps


edit: oops apparently it actually did post my first post. it said it wasnt able to load....but apparently it did. so sorry about that. not intentional


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## Wallaby (Jul 13, 2008)

I'm pretty sure that Lacey and I have a strong bond because 1. I'm the only person to ride her in the last year or so that hasn't fallen off of her at least once, 2. I'm the only thing she makes any noise for (nickers, whinnies) other than food, 3. she doesn't neigh for her friends when she's with me, even when they're neighing for her, 4. she's totally comfortable with me and in scary situations I'm the person she tries to get to to get comfort. I could go on. lol

I did do (and still do) bonding type exercises with Lacey when I got her because she's the type of horse that can be dangerous if she doesn't feel her rider is worth her trust (it's more of a "will you protect me?" type of thing) and since I didn't want to die I made sure she trusted me. Now that she does trust me I'm pretty sure she'd do just about anything for me. For instance, last week we went riding on a pretty intense trail and suddenly around 50 quail came shooting out of the bushes and trees around us. Lacey was so scared that she was literally shaking underneath me but I squeezed her and let her know it was ok and she continued to walk forward without a fuss even though she was terrified. That's what I call a bond.


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## boxer (Feb 20, 2009)

It is never too late to do bonding games and groundwork. Just think of all those rescue horses that later on develop really strong bonds with their owners. just because you ahve had him for three years doesn't make it too late. the bond I have with my horse is not that strong yet (only owned her for a month) but it is definately getting stronger. I know this because the other day when I went to hang her rug on the paddock gate for use later that evening she walked all the way from the other side of the paddock to see me (I think she just wanted food but was happy to stand around when she knew she wasn't getting any). She has never done that before. Also during our lesson she was much more attentive to me. I think our bond will grow stronger as I continue to do more groundwork with her. I do groundwork every time I see her, some days I only do groundwork and no riding. Having days where you spend time together without riding is important if you are able to. Some horses (mine included) need to know that you are worthy of their trust and respect and if you show that to them through groundwork they will love you more for it.


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## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

great words guys! my horse does do some stuff like that, if i fall off 9 out of ten times he waits for me, he doesnt dump me off at jumps if i throw the reins at him on accident, and yeah...what kind of ground work do you guys do? does free lunging count as ground work? how do you tell if your horse trusts you? and in a scary situation whats the best way to reassure them? i usually talk to him in a calm voice and try to squeeze him forward. just the other day he shook his bridle off (long story) and i had to jump off and grab him...i couldnt! lol! he took off w/ the pasture horses running but when he finally stopped i walked up to him and he waited for me to halter him. then we went for a calming walk in the arena. this is not usual behavior for him (taking off) but im pretty sure this was a matter of being at his new barn and wanting to let loose. i kinda forgot my point...:lol:


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## Spastic_Dove (Oct 4, 2007)

What is a "bonding game"?


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## Wallaby (Jul 13, 2008)

I'd say that free lunging counts as groundwork. I do a lot of free lunging with Lacey because she has to focus on me and my body language/words to know what's going on and that's one of the areas she struggles with. It's really helped her get more in tune to me. For instance, she has a tendency to be hard to catch in the field but because of all the free lunging I've done with her and because of how in tune she is with me because of it, I can easily block her movement from half the pasture away and she'll either come up to me or stand still, instead of running away.

I feel that it depends on the horse on how to reassure them in a scary situation. It's kinda how some people like to be told the mechanics of a scary thing, a roller coaster for instance, while others just want to be told that it'll be ok and to just try it. Lacey responds the best if I just squeeze her on, she needs to know that I'm there for her and that I also see the "scary" thing but that we'll be ok. Another horse I ride needs to be able to inspect (sniff it, look at it really hard) the scary thing before he's not scared anymore. I've tried using the squeeze method on the horse that needs to inspect and he began spooking at the scary object everytime he saw it, but when I let him sniff and look at it he neer spooked at it again. On the other hand, if I let Lacey sniff and look at scary things she starts freaking out about the scary thing and she has actually reared and bolted away from me (I had gotten off to let her look at the object.)

Edit: Spastic dove- I'm not really sure. Haha I was thinking of it as sorta a free lunging thing or basically anything that causes the horse to focus on you completely... But I'm probably not right. =P


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## Spirithorse (Jun 21, 2007)

Oh gosh, this is such a broad question! lol. I'll just run down the list of things that I think show if a horse and human have a good bond.

The horse comes when called (the human doesn't have to go get the horse), you can clip, bridle, saddle, blanket, groom, etc. without the horse being held or tied, the horse follows you and plays with you at Liberty at all 3 gaits and also going over obstacles and never leaves, you can ride the horse bridleless and/or on a loose rein and the horse is calm, you have no problems with your horse-everything goes smoothly and the horse shows no negative behavior, there is no fear and/or frustration from either party, the horse OFFERS to do things because he WANTS to, not because he's being made to......like I said, this is such a broad subject, there are sooooo many things!


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## Slickadoo (Sep 5, 2009)

My horse slick I KNOW has bonded with me. When I first met him everyone calls him a problem horse, They didnt realize that horses have feelings and their not machines. I got up on him after he was lunged for almost an hour because he crow hopped for everyone else (by now my trainer had given up on this "Problem Horse" ) I got up on him and went into the ring. I asked for a trot and he bucked and then would not trot. My trainer was making him scared and I started crying because I felt horrible, You could feel fear just coming through him. Now in the first 3 weeks our bond got very close and even his owner said that he was doing great with me. A half a year goes by and Im interested in a horse, I was wondering about a thoroubred at another barn until I found out he was for lease. To late, A girl who was pretty much a miniature version of my trainer was leasing him. He kept his ears flat back while she was riding him and I couldnt ride him for 2 weeks because he was even worse with her. Next time I rode him he was acting Terrified! and would side step away from anyone who got near him, I approached him and spent a half an hour regaining his trust, I tacked him up very carefuly and talking to him while I was waiting for my trainer to get ready and call us out. She walkes in with a whip and is very rough with the tack yanking on his bridel, pulling as hard as she could on the girth and Shaking the saddle. Now his ears were pinned back and she walkes forward next to him. he lashes out and bites her arm, She grabbed his halter and punched his mouth! I asked her why and she responded with "Im telling him what to do!" she held the whip up to him and he lifted his front feet about a foot off the ground then backed up. Now Today, I was assigned him in Walk Trot Canter unassisted. For my first class I rode a small morgan named tiffany, I entered and we did fine first direction. I started second direction and they asked for a canter I started and she broke into a gallop, I slowed her down and she crow hopped then bucked seven times all over the ring, I stopped her and took her to the middle, Second place. Now my next class and I plead to the judges and my trainer for a switch to slick. She told me he would kill me and I would fail, You guessed it He got worse and they stopped riding him for 2 weeks now. She told me if I wanted it that bad then I could ride him. I talked to him and patted him before our class and I hopped up on slick. We went out and We did PERFECT! I got first place and had a standing ovation from the crowd! (I didnt expect that!) It was the best horse show I had attended and I also proved my trainer wrong. Which she addmitted. I walked away with A medal, two ribbions, Most Dedicated Award and A boost in confidence. Sorry if its long but! lol


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## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

what a great story slick!


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