# Yet another godawful ride



## AllThePrettyHorses (Dec 15, 2010)

It was super nice out today, so I got my mare out to ride. She was last rode Saturday. Usually freshness isn't a problem, but obviously, as with any horse, it's always a factor-a tired, well-worked horse is always going to be quieter than one who's only worked sporadically.

Anyways, it started off great. She was really quiet, we did some nice trot work around home, and it was going really well. Well, to get over my confidence issues, I've vowed that every ride, I am going to canter at least once, and go out for at least a short 'hack'/trail ride (I call it trail riding, even though there really are no trails-only fields and road). 

We went out the lane and down the road, headed for the smallish field at the corner, about a quarter mile from home. On our way down the road, we met my dad coming with his horses, and her head and ears went up and her back hollowed. She started taking small steps, so I did as my trainer has always told me to do when she gets uncertain or zoned out or whatever-push her into a strong trot. That was okay, she tried to cut and follow them as we passed, but I kept her going and we made it to the field. Well, when my dad saw us, he decided to turn his horses around, ride once around the field, just enough to get mine worked up, and then ****** off home. Which was fine, I guess-I mean, she needs to learn to deal with this sort of stuff, but it was not entirely appreciated.

So at this point she is excited. She is wanting to follow the others, she wants to go home, she's totally focused on the leaving horses, and she's trying to do her power walk and cut for home every chance she got. I never know what to do when she's like this-work just makes her more riled up, doing nothing has no effect...I did the only thing I could think of: I took her in dozens and dozens of small little circles. At first she shook her head when I did this, trying to get straight and shake off my pulling, but once I stopped being so death-grippy with the reins and released when she gave, she stopped.

I circled and circled and circled and circled and circled, staying as calm as I could, and it helped some, but each time I would let her out and start in the direction of home, she'd try to power walk and zone out (which would eventually lead to her trying to run and get more excited, if I had let it escalate). I eventually gave up the circles, as it wasn't working, and just took her in really tight serpentines-serpentining towards home. That again, had no effect.

So I decided to canter her. We had trouble getting leads at first, and at times, she would try to gallop when we headed around the circle towards home, but it ended up decent (she at least didn't bulge as much as I was expecting her to) and eventually I ended up cantering her both ways until she was sweaty and exhausted and didn't want to go anymore. She was tired out, but _still_ wanted to go home with all her worth. I didn't know what else I could possibly do, so I rode to the far end of the field, faced her away from home, dismounted, and walked her home. 

I didn't know what to think at this point. I wanted to cry, I wanted to sell her-after everything, after lessons and my confidence slowly starting to return, I still get in situations like this. Back at home, I got on her again and trotted her around, before seeing that posting and making her go fast and such was only getting her more excited. So I returned to our jog we'd done so well at the start of the ride, and again, it went really well. She returned to listening to me and I calmed down significantly. 

Because I'm a perfectionist and I hate leaving any loose ends, I headed _back_ out, back to the field at the corner. I wanted to end our ride there so there would be no negative memories with it the next time. We jogged down the road (which kept her a lot calmer and quieter than posting), and you could tell she really didn't want to go in the field. I made her, though, I did a few big, calm circles at a walk each direction (she did not try to pull for home), walked her to the far end of the field, dismounted, and walked her home again.

I know I did everything wrong, otherwise she would have never acted like that. I just don't know _what_ I did wrong, and I don't know how to avoid it or fix it. I'm still half thinking I should sell her. I can ride her absolutely fine if we trailer out. Anywhere but from home, I am 100% calm and confident, and I never have problems. It's when I try to hack out from home I run into trouble, because I'm a wreck. That's why trailering away to lessons aren't entirely effective-because we never have problems when we're not at home. I am just feeling like **** after today's ride. I'd like to hear what you guys think or have to say.


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## draftgrl (Jan 8, 2011)

I don't have any other tips for you, but I think you did just fine. I would have done the exact same thing as you, other then I would have stayed on her and rode her home at a walk. 

I think she, and mainly you, need to get used to riding away from home. She knew you were nervous about leaving your safety zone. I think it will just take time for her to calm down, and be the good girl you want her to be. I would keep doing what you just did.

Luck to you


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## mudpie (Jul 15, 2011)

It sounds like she's too much horse for you, and that you two are not a good match. Re-homing her seems like a decent option here. Finding a new horse that is more suited to you would be better for everyone involved –*both you and the mare.

Maybe an older horse with lots and lots of experience? There's no shame in that.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

you really used your thinking cap and were very determined. I admire that.
THe only thing that came to my mind was that you could try taking her home, if she is unshakeable focussed on it, doing the serpentines like you did, and when you get home, WORK THE HECK OUT OF HER! So, being home wasn't as nice as she thought it would be. Then, offer her to leave the barn, go a short distance and ask her to stop and rest. If she wants to got back to the barn, then make her go there and WORK! and then offer to leave , go out a ways and ask her to stop. Once she will stop ( or at least walk away calmly and willingly) let her rest AWAY from the barn. Dismount and walk back.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

I think you did great working her through it, and there is merit in Tinys suggestion of making home the pace to work and going out the place where you get to chill.

I don't see that this is something you need to give up on yet, you are fine when you trailer her out, and today you stayed with it and worked it through. If you had given up and gone home when your dad left the field I would have said let her go, but you stayed with it and got a positive result, good for you.


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## Joe4d (Sep 1, 2011)

yeh if you felt unsafe, nothing wrong with walking her home, once I got home I would have put her in the round pen and ran her till her tongue was hanging out, Then get back on and walk away from home, at the first hint of turning around I would let her turn around, go back to barn get off and lunge her again. Most horses figure out it is much easier to walk where you want to go than gallop in circles where they want to go. 
I think you did good. You ended the ride on your terms, not the horses. Next time instead of circles try figure 8's sometimes they can work better without getting the horse more wound up.


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## masatisan (Jan 12, 2009)

You did really well, you kept control and didn't let her get away with her behavior. It's not your fault she was acting up, horses aren't machines, they have minds of their own and make a fuss about not wanting to do something, same as any person would. 

I agree wholeheartedly with what the others said about not letting the work be over when you get back. You need to figure out how to get inside her head and get her thinking that what you want is actually what she wants. It's a tricky process but it will make things much easier for both of you.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

Gawdawful ride? No way my dear, you just handled a horse in a difficult situation, you gained horse handling experience! Go put a chalk mark on the wall, eventually that horse won't want to be a goofball because she knows will be on her case, time after time. She'll figure it out.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Job well done, OP  I too believe you handled that situation really well and great job on the cantering!


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## pintophile (May 18, 2011)

Pretty, I know you post here quite a bit, and let me tell you, your 'story' sounds really similar to mine in a lot of ways. Confidence problems are sometimes hard to get over, but everything you write sounds like you're really, honestly determined to beat it. Sometimes it just takes a long, long time. For me, it was well over a year, and lots of ups and downs. Building back my confidence was never a steep climb straight up. It took lots and lots of experiences, and they certainly were not all good. Old, deadbroke 'nags' are great for building some confidence, but there comes a point where you just need to go do it, and face your true fear on the horse you're afraid of. The fact that you keep riding and going out to work with this horse you're nervous around says a lot about you. I think you do have a lot of courage, even though you don't feel it all the time.

I throw my vote in for not giving up. If you want to sell her, I will never tell anyone not to, but the fact that you've stuck with it this long, and have been through so much is a testament to your determination and I think if anyone can make it with a horse, you can. If this were a situation of her being dangerous, or you getting hurt, my opinion would be very different, but I think your issue is just a mental block. 

It wasn't long ago you started taking lessons, right? I would stick it out, ask your trainer's opinion, tell her about what you're most unconfident about, and maybe ask her to give you a few lessons around your house, instead of you trailering out. Sell if you want, but I think there's a really good horse underneath your mare - you just need to learn how to let her bring it out. 

All I can add in regards to your OP: STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!! You did everything you possibly could, given your experience level and your knowledge. You tried a number of different tactics to resolve the problem you were faced with, and you made sure you ended it on a good note. It didn't always work out how you wanted it, but I would not call that a godawful ride by any means. Getting off and walking is always a better choice than picking a fight and getting yourself in deeper trouble, if that's where you were headed. A fresh horse, a new, exciting situation - I don't think walking fast, shaking her head and wanting to bulge and turn for home is too heinous a crime, given the circumstances. 

Keep your chin up. Horses are not all fun and games. They have brains of their own, and sometimes they even use them  Don't take it as a blow to your confidence - take it, as waresbear said, as another experience in handling a difficult horse. Keep riding. The more you get out, the more you experience, the better you're both going to get. Everything you encounter - good or bad - is just another thing you won't have problems with the next day. You can do eet! You have ze powa!


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

If you did everything wrong, she would have come back without you! Don't beat yourself up. She's obviously thick in the head and hell bent on expressing her opinions. You tried everything possible to work through the problem. Short of stay out there with her until the sun set, I don't know what more you could have tried. 

The only thing I can possibly think of is to set up some sort of fun activity for her way out in that far field such as an obstacle course or jumps, something you can use to engage her mind so she's not just hell bent on getting home. 

Mares are tough cookies.


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## trailhorserider (Oct 13, 2009)

Nobody fell off and nobody got hurt. It didn't sound like a bad ride at all!

Sure, she wasn't perfect, but life isn't perfect. 

Maybe you need to try to enjoy the ride even when she isn't perfect. I mean always try for good behavior, of course. But don't let a hyper horse ruin your ride. Try to burn off energy on your terms and then ask for a walk going home. 

That is what I do. My mare can get hyper as all get-out if she sits for any length of time, but I just try to make the best out of it and enjoy the ride even if she won't walk going home. If I go out 3 days in a row and do a lot of trotting and cantering, pretty soon she will walk going home. Actually today she hadn't been ridden in two days and she walked going home because I rode the heck out of her 3 days in a row earlier in the week.

I guess I just make lemonade out of lemons and you know what, after a while I find her lot more fun than my "good" slow horse. 

But, if you are truly not enjoying her, there is no shame in selling her. We all have been there a time or two.


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## Ian McDonald (Aug 24, 2011)

IMO you answered your own question in the first few sentences. I've had this problem before and it always went away a little more each day, but I had to work with the horse daily. That was really the missing ingredient in my situation. The circles and serpentines do work though. Don't give up! All you have to do every time that mare starts to want to get away from you is to bring her back, even if you have to do it a hundred times. That's 100 actual times btw, not 20 times which I know can seem like 100 ;-)


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## AllThePrettyHorses (Dec 15, 2010)

In hindsight, I think I did the wrong thing because I reacted.

I was thinking about it all night (...and this morning....and this afternoon...) and said to myself that when I get in trouble again, I should ask myself A) What would I do if I were riding our quiet older pony? and B) What would my trainer be doing? 

My horse is a horse who needs to be rode sort of western-style. You need to sit still, sit quiet, be calm, and not really touch her unless you are asking her to do something. She is a horse who gets her panties in a bunch and gets upset and tense when you're really grabby with the reins or tense or anxious _at all_ (even a tiny little bit) in your seat. If she doesn't like these things when we're doing quiet work, why in the heck would she suddenly accept them when she's already excited?

Thinking about it now, I think I would have gotten a much better result if I kept doing what I had intended to do in the first place (ride quiet, do some calm circles). Would she have still gotten excited that the other horses were there? Yeah, but she would have calmed down a lot faster if I hadn't of fed into her energy. All I did by getting ultra-grabby with the reins and frustrated and desperate was rile her up more.

I honestly don't know if that would have worked as perfectly as it seems, but I think it would have at least given better results than what I came up with by feeding into the excitement.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

It is the hardest thing out if you are nervous to do what you are describing, but yes you have probably got it...that's why I do a lot of singing when I ride, makes me focus on breathing deep and letting out any tension or worry with each breath, so you just sit quieter, calmer and deeper, so you give off lots of calming energy.


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## Lakotababii (Nov 28, 2010)

My horse tried the same thing with me when I first hacked him out alone. 

I feel you did the right thing OP. I had the same frustrations, so I can empathize. I had to do circles, serpentine, and all kinds of different speeds to get my gelding to calm the heck down. Actually, I brought him closer to home, and then worked the heck outta him. I have 3 bits of advice.

1. When this happens, take a deep breath. It sounds like your horse is like mine, sensitive to cues. They will pick up on your frustration, so take a few deep breaths and count to ten. This will help.
2. I think this has already been said, but make the booger work when she comes home! HARD. The thing that worked the best with mine was trotting large, endless circles. He hates trotting. By the time I was done, he was walking slowly on a loose rein and moving off just my seat and my leg. It took about 2 hours. 
3. Remember your posture and your hands. When we get into tense situations, sometimes we lean forward, our heals come up, and we get into all sorts of problems. Re-balance yourself by going through your mental checklist from head to toe.

The next day after my incident I rode my horse out again. His shenanigans cut in half, and he took about 20 minutes to calm down. We worked lightly for another 40 or so, and then he was done. SO much nicer than that stupid hot headed crap :wink:


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