# Labre, Rest In Peace.



## flytobecat

I'm sorry for your loss. That can't be an easy decision for anyone.


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## Speed Racer

My deepest condolences, White Foot.

The pain we feel at their loss is the real price we pay for being allowed to have them in our lives.

Time will help, I promise.


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## White Foot

Thanks Flytobecat <3 SpeedRacer, I hope your right, I with the time would go by faster :/ Thank-you


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## Speed Racer

Trust me, time is the _only_ thing that will make it easier.

I had my best and brightest put down on 07/21/2007. I had that boy for 21 years, and it shattered my heart the day he died.

When we buried him, all I wanted to do was crawl in that hole with him.

I had a bracelet made with his tail hair, and have worn it almost constantly since his death. It was a major source of comfort during the darkest times, knowing I had a piece of him that was always with me.

The first six months were the hardest. I was sad, angry, and hated life.

The first year on the anniversaries of his birth and death, I cried buckets and was inconsolable.

The second year was a little better, and now I'm coming up on my third year without him.

I can now enjoy life again, and am able to speak of my boy with laughter instead of tears. I'm looking forward to riding my new foxhunter, and life has light and color again.

I will always miss him and on occasion I still shed a few tears, but my overwhelming emotion now is feeling blessed that I was able to share 21 years of my life with such an amazing horse.

I promise, you'll feel the same way in time. Not now and not soon, but sometime.


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## Juniper

Oh, so sorry. It sounds like you made up for any inadequacies as an uninformed owner with a wonderful older horse life for her. And it does not sound like her life was too rough to begin with  I find the people who feel guilty are never the ones who should and I am sure that is so in your case. It takes a long, long time for the pain to go away when you lose a loved animal. At least it took years for me with my dog. So be patient with yourself.


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## Juniper

I had the same experience as SpeedRacer, I was so angry when my older dog had to be put down. I hated everyone who had an older dog still alive. Seems irrational now but it was intense. So be prepared to be angry in between tears.


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## Speed Racer

Juniper said:


> So be prepared to be angry in between tears.


Absolutely.

I was broadsided by my anger, because I originally only felt sorrow. The anger actually took me by surprise.

I was literally angry at _everyone, _especially those people who still had their favorite horses. 

I was angry because the sun was shining, and people were going about their business while my life was dark, cold, and bleak.

I was angry that I seemed to be the only one who was mourning the best horse in the whole world.

I was angry that I'd lost my heart horse, and thought that the two left behind should have died instead. That's not something I'm proud to admit, but it's true.

Anger is part of grief, so be prepared to have it show up one day. Ride it out as best you can, because the anger does eventually go away.


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## farmpony84

I am sorry.


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## White Foot

Speed Racer said:


> Trust me, time is the _only_ thing that will make it easier.
> 
> I had my best and brightest put down on 07/21/2007. I had that boy for 21 years, and it shattered my heart the day he died.
> 
> When we buried him, all I wanted to do was crawl in that hole with him.
> 
> I had a bracelet made with his tail hair, and have worn it almost constantly since his death. It was a major source of comfort during the darkest times, knowing I had a piece of him that was always with me.
> 
> The first six months were the hardest. I was sad, angry, and hated life.
> 
> The first year on the anniversaries of his birth and death, I cried buckets and was inconsolable.
> 
> The second year was a little better, and now I'm coming up on my third year without him.
> 
> I can now enjoy life again, and am able to speak of my boy with laughter instead of tears. I'm looking forward to riding my new foxhunter, and life has light and color again.
> 
> I will always miss him and on occasion I still shed a few tears, but my overwhelming emotion now is feeling blessed that I was able to share 21 years of my life with such an amazing horse.
> 
> I promise, you'll feel the same way in time. Not now and not soon, but sometime.


That's good to know, thanks for all the comfort. I cut her tail off so I can have it and I want to make a bracelet, or necklace. Today at work I thought being around horses would make me feel better and keep my mind off of things but it didn't. I'm sorry for your loss as well. :-(


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## White Foot

Juniper said:


> Oh, so sorry. It sounds like you made up for any inadequacies as an uninformed owner with a wonderful older horse life for her. And it does not sound like her life was too rough to begin with  I find the people who feel guilty are never the ones who should and I am sure that is so in your case. It takes a long, long time for the pain to go away when you lose a loved animal. At least it took years for me with my dog. So be patient with yourself.


Thanks love, it's going to be so weird not getting up and feeding her. Or not hearing her neigh when I walk passed the barn and aloottt of things will be different. I'm sorry for the loss of your dog, that's always the hardest.


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## White Foot

That's how I felt today, angry. If anyone at the barn looked at me wrong I got mad and wanted to cry. Yesterday on a board I was getting so defensive and all I wanted to do was pick a fight. Thanks everyone :/

Thanks FP.


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## Speed Racer

White Foot said:


> That's good to know, thanks for all the comfort. I cut her tail off so I can have it and I want to make a bracelet, or necklace. Today at work I thought being around horses would make me feel better and keep my mind off of things but it didn't. I'm sorry for your loss as well. :-(


You've just lost her, so don't expect to feel fine or even normal for awhile.

I will tell you to stay busy though, because sitting around _thinking_ about her loss is the worst thing you can do.

It's OKAY for you to cry and be unhappy, so don't think you have to put on a brave face all the time for everyone, and don't let anyone tell you differently.

I had my bracelet made in September 2007. It took me two months to be able to let go and trust someone else with his hair. It was the last, physical part of him I had, and it was difficult for me to put that hair in the mail and trust it to a stranger.

I'm only telling you this last part in case that happens to you. It's perfectly normal, and you're not 'weird' if you have trouble trusting someone else with your girl's hair.

Only those who have lived it know what you're going through. I'm so very sorry for your loss, and wish no one ever had to go through it.


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## White Foot

I'm afraid of sending it away. I'm going to try and make it myself first, and if that doesn't work then I will. When I find myself alone is when I start to think about it, I can't even look at the barn when I'm driving passed it. How long did it take for you to recover?


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## Speed Racer

White Foot, there's no real timetable. Your grief will take as long as it takes.

I do know that for awhile everything will look bleak, and you won't take an interest in anything or anyone. This feeling does pass, but while you're going through it you'll wonder if you'll ever feel anything other than pain ever again.

My boy will be gone 3 years in July, and it was after the second anniversary of his death when I realized I was starting to feel as if I'd just come out of a dark tunnel.

Once you begin to feel a little better, you may start feeling guilty because you're not mourning as hard as you were at the beginning. Don't give in to guilt! It's the natural order of things that we heal from loss, and your girl wouldn't want you to grieve forever.

You're not being disloyal when you can laugh at the silly things she did; it's _important_ that you remember the good times because we need to celebrate their lives, not forever mourn their loss.

It's also important than when you're ready, you find another horse to love.

I know right now you may be thinking you can't possibly go through that heartache ever again, but if you love horses the way I think you do, you'll not just want another one, you'll _need_ another one.

You'll never not miss her, but I promise there will be a time when you look back on her life and smile because of all the good memories.

Do I still cry over my boy? Yes, sometimes. But those times are getting less frequent, and I'm glad. I loved him dearly, and I want to remember him with happiness.


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## White Foot

Thankyou, for everything and helping me through this.


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## Speed Racer

You're very welcome.

If you need to vent, I'm only a PM away.

It does help to know that others understand how you're feeling. I know it helped me tremendously.


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## White Foot

Thanks. I've been so hesitant to even visit this thread.


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## PumpkinzMyBaby22

aww. im so sorry for your loss. i do hope things heal up for you quickly.


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## White Foot

thankyou


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## Speed Racer

White Foot, here's a picture of my boy.

I loved him with all my heart and soul, and the day he died my world came apart. I truly do know how you feel.

The grief _will_ get easier to deal with, but it's going to take time. There's no magic pill or formula to make the time go faster, unfortunately.

Just remember that many of us have gone through what you're enduring now. There's strength in numbers, and grief can be eased when it's shared.


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## Chella

She got to live with you through the end! That is wonderful she was not sold because she got to old or she was out grown etc. What a wonderful and caring horse owner you are. She was blessed to live with you. It sounds like you have learned so much from her and will make the horse world a better place in her honor. I am so sorry for your loss time will heal your pain but as for her she is free and running wild with probably her horse Mom!!!!


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## Jordi

White Foot said:


> I'm afraid of sending it away. I'm going to try and make it myself first, and if that doesn't work then I will. When I find myself alone is when I start to think about it, I can't even look at the barn when I'm driving passed it. How long did it take for you to recover?


I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved mare (my equine soulmate) almost 5 years ago. The pain does get easier, but I still have days here and there where I'll see her feed bucket, or find old pictures, that it's still hard.


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## Erin_And_Jasper

she was prolly happy you were with her in the troubled times. dont dwell on the bad times but on the good. she was prolly happy to do her job with you despite the ill fitting tack and all that. im going to be terribly sad when jasper dies as he is my best friend. if you need to talk im a pm away


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## White Foot

Speed Racer, he's gorgeous. I'm sorry
Sorry for being so late in the reply, I really am procrastinating about coming here. I went to the barn for the first time yesterday; I couldn't handle it. I've been thinking, I feel bad because while she was home at my barn Gunther was in training so I didn't spend alot of time with her in her last few weeks.  

Chella, that's a great way to look at it, thanks! 

Jordi,  I can't wait for you to make her bracelet. 

Thanks Erin, don't even think about when he dies! Hopefully it won't be for a long long time. Just live everyday you can loving him. If I could take back the days I got frustrated and said "stupid mare" I would in a heartbeat because I love her


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## Citrus

I have not yet lost a horse, but watching humans die, I do know that everyone grieves completely, in their own time frame and in their own way. One of the best things that has helped me through grief was to allow myself to cry.... even if I had to start it with a sad movie. Just remember, and this is not to hurry you along by any means, but grief is a process, not a place to be stagnant. I am so sorry for your huge loss.


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