# Convincing Reasons for Riding Lessons



## carmen315 (Jan 8, 2014)

Hi everyone, I am new to the forum. I found the site because I was looking for ways I can convince my husband to continue riding lessons for our 7 year old daughter.

For her birthday, we bought her 6 riding lessons. By the 6th lessons, she finally got to do more independent riding without the lead. She loves it! She checks out books all about horses at the library, she talks about horses all the time. We've put her in several extracurriculars over the years which she was pretty meh about. Dance, cheer, gymnastics, soccer, swimming, piano.

My husband wants her to continue with soccer and piano. I want to take both out and continue with the lessons. Part of my husband's reasons are the cost. Private lessons are about $60 and group lessons are $45 per week. Piano is $35 a week and I estimate soccer to be about $50 for everything. She's told me she'd rather do riding lessons.

Please help me convince my husband she should be in riding lessons instead of piano and soccer (nothing against them though). What are the advantages and how can she use the skills she learns in the future? 

My grandparents bought me a horse when I was 11 and like a spoiled brat I didn't truly appreciate how unique and wonderful it was to have a horse and know how to ride.

What do y'all think?


----------



## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Honestly? If she were my child, I Would limit the "extra credit curricular activities"for a child of 7. Kids need to spend more time at home , being bored enough to figure out some way to amuse themselves, instead of never having that empty time.

I realize this may not describe your household, but perhaps you're worrying too much about filling her time for her.


If, however, it's a choice between soccer and horses they do promote completely different skills. Soccer is pretty much about teamwork, isn't it.? Whereas, horse riding is about an individual relationship with the horse. Both build strength and balance and concentration. But riding, seems to reward the individual more for their own personal progress.

When I was seven, I had absolutely no interest in soccer or baseball or any kind of sports, but horses? I was crazy about them.


----------



## LynnF (Jun 1, 2011)

I honestly think it should be your daughters choice, if she would rather ride then why force her to play soccer and piano instead? I know as a young girl being involved with horses kept me out of a lot of trouble, it taught me responsibility (no chores= no more lessons) it also taught me how to make important life choices, how to budget and most importantly caring, compassion and responsibility for something other than myself. 
I learned to work for what I wanted and that if you want to excel at something you have to dedicate yourself and make sacrifices. 
My horses were an outlet for me in a difficult stage of life, when I was going through breakups, friend trouble, drama at school my horses were my constant friend, they didn't judge me or pick on me or tease me, they were the same day in and day out and they taught me more about love and patience than any person ever could. They were my rocks...
I think every young person could benefit from having horses in their life, but that is just my personal opinion.


----------



## MN Tigerstripes (Feb 20, 2009)

My parents were very similar to you guys it sounds like. They tried like 10 different activities before finally giving in and enrolling me in riding lessons at the age of 8. We even had our own horses. I didn't really have a passion for anything else and they realized that it was counter-productive and a waste of money to enroll me in lessons I had no interest in. 

There are plenty of reasons why extracurricular are good for children. 

Here's a great blog post about what horses do for girls. Granted they are talking about owning a horse, but lessons provide MANY of the same life lessons. 

10 Reasons Your Teenage Daughter Should Own a Horse

If the extra $10-20 a week is that big of a deal (not judging, for me it would be) have her do extra chores around the house to "pay" the difference. It'll be a great way to teach her to work for what she wants as well as the value of money AND how expensive horses can be.


----------



## Hidalgo13 (Dec 24, 2010)

I agree with Tiny that too many activities aren't good for a child so young. You need to be bored to stimulate your imagination, and learning to amuse yourself in other ways/by yourself, is a skill. It's during the teen years that you need to keep your kid really busy.. you know to stay out of trouble. :wink:

I have always thought learning an instrument to be important because it stimulates the brain, but if your daughter really doesn't like it, I wouldn't force it just because it is good for her. If she is musical, she will show interest for an instrument later on as she grows up (perhaps for a different one). 

I wanted to play piano as a child, but we had a classical guitar lying around and no money for a piano, so guess what instrument my parents made me learn when I showed a musical interest? I liked playing the guitar because I love music, but my constant yearning for a piano stopped me from wanting to practice my guitar as often as I should. 

I was naturally good at it though, so despite my inconsistent practicing, my parents kept giving me lessons for 4 years before I really got fed up and stopped practicing altogether. Not liking my teacher or the songs he gave didn't help, but anyhow, this really broke my parents because they felt they had wasted their money, and loved to hear me play. 

So the moral of my story is, if she really doesn't like it, don't push her to do it. In the end you'll have invested/wasted money in piano lessons. What you could do is start by giving her 2-3 riding lessons a month instead of piano, and if she keeps up the interest you can increase the amount of lessons if you are financially able. Also, as soccer is not expensive, maybe you can do a compromise with your husband to keep the soccer and only stop the piano lessons. Soccer will help with her riding anyhow.

If you are unable to convince your husband, and your daughter really doesn't like the activities she is presently enrolled it, her increasing lack of motivation will eventually take hold of the situation. If she does find some pleasure in them, then it will be more difficult perhaps.


----------



## Hidalgo13 (Dec 24, 2010)

> If the extra $10-20 a week is that big of a deal (not judging, for me it would be) have her do extra chores around the house to "pay" the difference. It'll be a great way to teach her to work for what she wants as well as the value of money AND how expensive horses can be.


\

This is a very good idea. Her efforts will show your husband just how serious this is for her.

I asked for riding lessons multiple times during my childhood, and only at the age of 13 did I start them with my own means. I started slow, first only riding in the summer, but every lesson I have ever paid was with my own money, and finally after *6 years* my dad realizes I am not just going to "grow out of it".


----------



## PrivatePilot (Dec 7, 2009)

I agree with others, if she doesn't want to do everything (and it's not in the budget anyways) why not ask her what she wants to do solely instead? If that's riding, then rejig things to make that work. 

Horsemanship and the barn social scene is a great way to keep kids busy and out of trouble. Your daughter will soon be more interested in hanging out at the barn with the horses vs hanging out at the mall with boys. Your husband may appreciate that analogy better than any other if he's like me. 

Adding to responsibilities around the house in order to help pay/justify for the extra cost is certainly a great idea as well. Our daughter is very motivated to keep her chores up to ensure she gets her lessons, and she also babysits and does a lot of extras on the side (that she may not otherwise have done) to pay for extra lessons (she pays herself) or tack and riding gear. She's learned a lot about money from that side of things.


----------



## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

My mom started me riding horse well before I could walk. 

She also started giving me piano lessons when I was about 4 years old. 

There had come a point when I wanted to quit playing the piano, maybe when I was 8 or 9. She wouldn't let me. And I am SO glad she didn't.  It's something I greatly enjoy being able to do. 

Honestly, my piano background helped me in so many different things, but probably the most was rhythm. Rhythm can be applied to so many other things in life beyond music. 

So I would say for sure continue with the piano. Don't quit that. 

And I agree --> she's only 7. You have plenty of time to pick horse riding back up at a later age, or any other sports for that matter, if money is an issue. Plus, she'll be older and will have a better idea of what she likes.


----------



## HorseMom1025 (Jul 17, 2012)

My daughter has tried all of the following activities (not at the same time of course!)

Soccer
Ballet
Tap
Gymnastics
Figure Skating
Girl Scouts
Horseback Riding

The top 5 activities only kept her interest for maybe a year. Girl Scouts has lasted 6 years and is still going strong. Horseback riding is at 3 years and still strong. She has never expressed a desire to give them up.

Since she started with horses, I see a drive in her to do her best that just wasn't there with her other sports. She CARES about being a better rider, because she wants to be a better rider for her horse. She sets goals (like she never did before). She is more self confident because a 1200 lb animal that could squish her, loves and respects her. Her balance, coordination, and memory have all improved greatly (she is dyslexic...memorizing patterns for showmanship and equitation have really helped!)

It's also great bonding time. The drive to and from the barn is when I learn the most about her. Our shared love for horses has made us closer. It's been a very positive experience for our family.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Prinella (Jul 12, 2011)

Mum always used to say how great it was over the holidays when I was teenager she knew exactly where I was (2 working parents). I couldn't get into trouble at the riding school 😉

Also I believe horse riding teaches some very important skills. I often see a difference in maturity between horsey girls and non horsey (5 years instructing).

responsibility, coping with failure, how to be confident, the importance of body language, temper management ect 

Plus she can still play piano at home if she wants to or kick a soccer ball around!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## WildAtHeart (Jul 17, 2013)

Reasons For Horse Back Riding Lessons:
1. It is physical exercise.
2. It teaches her to work with a horse - team work.
3. It teaches determination. (there will be days where that horse will just not listed and you have to preservere through it)
4. She will for bonds with the horses
5. Later on when she is older, many barns offer to let you do farm work for discounted lessons, making the lessons cheaper.
6. It is horses! There is no reason not to do it


----------



## WildAtHeart (Jul 17, 2013)

Prinella said:


> temper management
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I agree completely! I gave a 7 year old girl her first lesson yesterday and she is a very nervous kid in general. I always tell her that a horse is a mirror...if you are calm the horse will be. If you are angry the horse will be too.


----------



## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Explain to him that if horses are truly her passion, then this interest will last much, much longer than soccer and piano will if she's not too fond of them. I did all kinds of sports when I was in lower school, but didn't like any of them enough to stick until I began taking riding lessons. If you want her to stick to a sport, then it needs to be something that she likes. There's no law that says the three of you can't run to the park on weekends to kick a soccer ball around for fun, but she can't really do that with horse riding. The lessons are really the only way into it. 

As a kid, my parents forced me to take piano lessons. In fact, I felt rather tricked into it when I was in first grade. My mom asked me if I wanted to do it, and said that I could stop after a year if I didn't like it. After the year passed I said that I wanted to stop, but they made me continue. The reason? My dad took piano lessons a little bit as a child, and stopped. HE regretted not continuing the lessons, and wished that his parents had made him so he could play nowadays. He insisted that we keep with it through high school. Through lower school it was ok, but by middle school most of the other kids had dropped out. My parents told me that I HAD to practice 30 minutes per day, which is probably necessary to really be able to master the music. 

By 8th grade I was one of the only students still in the program (it was done through the school) and it was miserable for me. I was busy with (strangely enough) school, horses, and the season of soccer that I randomly decided to sign up for. I HATED piano. HATED it. It was miserable for me, I wouldn't have time to practice, and it was miserable for my piano teacher. Because I wouldn't practice, I wouldn't advance. We'd be going over the same things week after week, and she finally had to contact my parents and convince them to let me quit. I convinced them to let me quit under the condition that I would still play for fun once in awhile, but I didn't touch that piano again for years because of my resentment for it. Playing for fun would have been impossible The better part of 10 years later I've resolved my differences with the piano and will mess around with it for fun with some of my old sheet music. If my parents had let me let it go years earlier, then I probably would have become a better piano player than I am now. That's not really a reason to continue riding lessons per say, but a reason why to not force your child into an activity she's not interested in.

I would try to talk your husband into picking one of his favored activities (soccer or piano), and compromise to save money and time. She gets to do the riding lessons that you want, or the soccer or piano that she wants. Better yet, see if he'll let HER choose between the two. It's not fair for him to control all of her extracurricular activities, and you get no say. To further relieve costs, perhaps suggest that she continue with group lessons instead of individual. Depending on how the group lessons are run, you daughter can benefit greatly from learning from her peers, as well as make lifelong riding buddies. Just make sure it's not your girl shoved into a lesson with 12 other girls that are cantering 3' fences!


----------



## horselessmom (Apr 20, 2012)

carmen315 said:


> Please help me convince my husband she should be in riding lessons instead of piano and soccer (nothing against them though). What are the advantages and how can she use the skills she learns in the future?


I'm a firm believer that, if one can afford it, an extracurricular activity should be something that a child truly loves. When people are unhappy they don't learn well. If she doesn't love soccer, all the wonderful skills that playing soccer can develop will be lost on her. 

Partnership with a horse is a wonderful thing. She'll be learning that not only she depends on the horse, the horse depends on her. She'll be learning patience and seeing the bigger picture--always. She'll be learning how to put the horse's interest and well being first. All her hard work and effort can "go to waste" (unless one has the right attitude) if a horse spooks in a show--and her life will still continue. This is invaluable. A horse is a living being, with his own personality and habits. She'll be learning about animal behavior, animal learning, and animal care. 

She'll be learning about relationships, not just a simple physical skill of riding. 

I'm sure every sport and activity is valuable. It boils down, again, to the fundamental idea that it should be the child's choice, for an activity to be truly beneficial. Yes, horses are expensive, but it is okay to have only one extracurricular activity. In fact, it is probably quite beneficial. 

I have a child who chose horses. A child who chose music. A child who chose gymnastics. I can't imagine deciding for them. 

Good luck with your decision.


----------



## carmen315 (Jan 8, 2014)

I just wrote a really long post about what great advice you all have given me and it timed out on me and I lost it! Oh well...here we go again...thank you so much!

I read each and every post to my husband and I think we're making some progress!  He loved the idea of her being in the barn with the horses instead of being in the mall with boys! I think that may be the cherry on top!

I agree that we don't want her in a lot of extracurriculars. Sometimes kids just need to be kids! But I do know that you can just learn some great life lessons just being around horses as you all have said so well.

The idea about earning the lessons by doing chores is such a great idea! She could really use that experience. Also, I totally agree about the role models within the horse community. Her instructor is an 18 year old high school senior teaching riding lessons on Saturdays. I can just tell that my daughter is looking up to her and that's a great thing. Her instructor is kind, smart, and motivated. All great qualities.

Are there other ways we can get her involved in the horse community? We are outsiders to this world (although my husband did work for 8 years as gate crew at a race track). I think this is a great family bonding time. I'm afraid I might get the horse riding bug too. Don't think I've been on a horse in 10 years!

Thank y'all so much! You're fantastic.


----------



## horselessmom (Apr 20, 2012)

carmen315 said:


> I just wrote a really long post about what great advice you all have given me and it timed out on me and I lost it! Oh well...here we go again...thank you so much!
> 
> I read each and every post to my husband and I think we're making some progress!  He loved the idea of her being in the barn with the horses instead of being in the mall with boys! I think that may be the cherry on top!
> 
> ...


I sent you a PM.


----------



## Ebonyisforme (Oct 23, 2013)

I think if she wants to ride, she should ride. And this is just my opinion, but I think riding is a LOT better for the kid than something like soccer. Riding gives the same amount, or around there, of exercise, they learn to be responsible, and that they are not right all the time, or even half of the time, they learn what true love and caring is, and they grow attached, protective, and connected to their equine friend.


----------



## carmen315 (Jan 8, 2014)

horselessmom said:


> I sent you a PM.


Got it! I need 2 more posts before I can reply though!!


----------



## horselessmom (Apr 20, 2012)

carmen315 said:


> Got it! I need 2 more posts before I can reply though!!


I thought you were going to say that you needed 2 hours to read it. :lol: I type pretty fast so my posts / PMs always end up really long. :lol:


----------



## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Pony club! I didn't do it as a young kid (I think I was about 15 when I joined), but I saw the positive affect that it had on the younger kids. Kids get to be around other horse-crazy kids their own age, spend time with horses, and learn a lot in the process. They encourage kids to be independent horse people, such as by keeping a horse management book. At the rallies kids are required to do everything independent of parental help. There are obviously adults roaming around to supervise, but the kids need to figure out how to be on time for their rides, care for their own horse, and maintain their own tack. Definitely something that I would recommend at least looking into!

The other thing that helped me learn a lot about horses, even before I began lessons, was horse camps. My first real horse experience was a week-long horse camp when I was 11, and I loved it! We learned everything from the parts of a horse, proper horse care, health aspects, tack and its parts, as well as different breeds, colors, markings, etc. We had riding lessons as well, and before each lesson we would learn how to groom and tack up the horses. It was super fun for me, and I learned a lot. My weekly lessons were incredibly beneficial and I accumulate lots of horse knowledge, but we were paying for riding lessons. Not general "horse knowledge lessons"!


----------

