# How do I convince my parents about buying a horse?



## NeonSnap (Jul 27, 2012)

So, I'm sure that every horse lover has a dream.. to own a horse. I do too, and unfortunately my parents said no. Of course they did, because horses are expensive to take care of. The horse I want is for free, but if it ends up being that I don't like him, then there is another Thoroughbred gelding I fell in love with.
I understand the big work and effort into bringing a horse into the family and paying for board, feed, and vet/farrier bills. 
I'm far too young to work and have a job, so please don't tell me to get a job and work as much as I can. 
I'm trying to find very good ways to convince my parents within a year. 
I would love to have a horse because it would be a wonderful experience and filled with joy.
It would teach me tons of responsibility also.
It's just my parents think I'm being ungrateful for what I have. They pay money for my riding lessons and I thank them every day for that and try to work as hard as I can when they ask me to do chores. 
They say that I'm very ungrateful for wanting a horse.
I love my parents but need huge help on how to convince them or at least make them think about getting a horse. 
I'm willing to work but the problem is is that I don't want to walk dogs or clean people's yards unless I know them, and I only know 4 houses where I live.

Thank you so much and I hope I can sometime soon get a horse!


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## poppy1356 (Jan 18, 2012)

Continue with lessons until you can get a job. Then you can save money and get your own horse. If you keep asking they might take away your lessons.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Let's see, you're not willing to work to help defray the cost of the horse, yet you think your parents should get you one and spend _their_ money to give you a frivolous luxury item that will live at least 25 years? Unless of course, you don't like the one you get, then you'll dump it and get another. :?

Yeah, not thinking you understand the value of a dollar or have one _clue _about how being grateful or responsible works.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

It's really not fair to ask your parents to take on an even larger luxury expense the what they're already paying for your lessons. Horses are a luxury. Wanting one real bad doesn't entitle you to it. It doesn't help your case that you are not going to help with the costs at all AND will also have to be carted around. If you're not old enough to drive you probably will need to be supervised while you ride so your parents are going to have to spend a ton of money, drive you around AND sit and twiddle while you ride.

Besides knowing that horses cost "a lot" it doesn't sound like you really know what that means. Especially when starting from scratch, you need tack and supplies which pushes up your startup cost even more.

All you want to do is clean and walk dogs? If you were really willing to do it you don't have enough hours in the day to do it enough to pay for a horse and see it. Asking your parents to take on such a big burden is rather selfish when they're already indulging your passion in the way they can. Should they take on extra jobs to pay for YOUR hobby? What are you doing to earn a horse besides making puppy eyes and saying please?

Wait until you can afford a horse then get one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Paradise (Jun 28, 2012)

If your parents have said no to getting you a horse, I don't think there's much advice that we, strangers from the internet, can offer to sway them. 

I know you want a horse RIGHT now. But sometimes we don't just 'get' what we want in life. 

Not that it really matters, but just how young are you? Are you absolutely sure there is NO possible way for you to work and save up a bit of money? Can you cut grass, babysit, do chores for different people in the neighbourhood? Even saving up pocket change can make a big difference. Though you can't get a 'real' job yet, I bet there are tons of ways you can earn a bit of cash. And by working and trying so hard, you'll be able to prove to your parents how responsible, dedicated and serious about this you are. Not only that, you'll be able to prove to YOURSELF that this is something you really want.

Your parents may never buy you a horse, that's just the way it is. If you _really_ want one, you'll have to do it yourself and find a way. You won't get one tomorrow, it may not even be for a few years, but when you do finally have the money for one, don't you think it'll be that much more special? The horse will be the fruits of your labour; it won't just have been a gift from your parents because you 'wanted' it.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Paradise said:


> Your parents may never buy you a horse, that's just the way it is. If you _really_ want one, you'll have to do it yourself and find a way. You won't get one tomorrow, it may not even be for a few years, but when you do finally have the money for one, don't you think it'll be that much more special? The horse will be the fruits of your labour; it won't just have been a gift from your parents because you 'wanted' it.


Agreed, Paradise. 

This is how it worked for me, and it didn't kill me to wait to get a horse until I could afford everything myself. In fact, it gave me quite a good deal of satisfaction to finally achieve my goal after so many years without anyone elses help.


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## goneriding (Jun 6, 2011)

If you were my kid and another nagging comment come out of your mouth about owning your own horse, lessons would immediately cease. You haven't a clue to the expenses involved with owning a horse. Have you considered that maybe your parents just cannot afford one? Have you ever given a thought that maybe they would like to have a retirement fund so they can enjoy their life's hard work doing what they love? They are giving you lessons which are not cheap. Be thankful they are even giving you that.


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## Jore (Dec 4, 2010)

It took me seven years of consistent lessons, and three years of leasing experience to finally convince my dad. (my parents are divorced but my mom has agreed to continue with paying for board) What did I do?

1. I quit asking for a few years.
2. About three months ago, I realized that I wanted to buy Major.
3. I gave my dad a bunch of reasons while he was watching me in a lesson.
4. I made a fifteen slide power point with costs, benefits, supplies, etc.
5. I had a really long discussion about it.
6. I made a promise to keep my GPA above 88% this year, as well as to be nicer. (which is going good so far)
7. To pay my dad back the purchase price if I was to ever sell him.
8. To apply for part-time jobs once my current one ends (I'm a swim instructor/lifeguard)

And now? I'm going to be the official owner of Major on August 30. 

Although, I do have horse friends who have yet to win the argument with their parents.. all I can say is that it'll be worth the wait.


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## rookie (May 14, 2012)

If you want a horse you have to work for a horse. I don't mean cleaning up after dogs four houses in town. See if you can work at the barn you take lessons at. You should be taking lessons. Stop pestering your parents for a horse. No adult ever got (or should have received) a luxury item by nagging and whinning. 

Also, free horse does not mean good horse. Sometimes free horse means crazy, half broke horse that we can't sell and we need to get rid of. I don't know that you can handle a thoroughbred based on your experience. I don't mean that in a mean way but you sound young and new to horses. A thoroughbred would not be the first choice unless that horse was exceptional.


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

What have you done to show your parents you deserve a horse?


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## Iseul (Mar 8, 2010)

You're not going to get your own horse (that won't even actually be yours, it'll be your parents' horse). I'm 18 and have wanted my own for 7 years..but it's not realistic, and I'm lucky I got a vehicle I'm allowed to drive.
My dad asked what I wanted to do for my 16th birthday, and I asked that I could go on a 2 hour trail ride with a friend. I knew I wasn't going to get a horse and I loved going on trails, so that's what I asked for, and that's what I got. That was both my birthday party AND my present.
My dad offered to let me choose my 17th birthday present, but I didn't ask for a horse again, because I knew it wasn't going to happen. Begging for a horse will never get you one unless you're spoiled rotten with absolutely rich parents..in which rarely happens. What I did ask for my birthday that my dad would pay for me to lease a horse for a few months, and he obliged, knowing that it made me happier than anything else. My dad actually went beyond what I asked and continued paying my lease until he died, in which my mum started paying because even though we had less food choice in her house, she knew it made me happy and didn't want me to lose that, without me having to beg for it.
After my dad died I found out from his coworkers that he was planning on buying my lease horse for me as a gift..I never asked for it. But, I am extremely glad he didn't buy her before he died, because I would've had no way to pay for it myself, and my mum sure as hell didn't have the money to pay for everything. As much as I still want my own horse, I know that I wouldn't have a vehicle to drive, the house I live in, or any other extras that I have now if I were to have one.
I took a house/dog-sitting job from my aunt to pay my lease of a new horse until I leave for college..Would I rather spend that money on cigarettes, fun, extras, etc? **** right I would, but I know I wouldn't be riding at all right now if I had. My mum told me I could deal without a horse for 3 months and she wouldn't pay for it since I "quit" on Lucky because I didn't like her new owner..I told her I couldn't continue riding Lucky if I was going to have to pay $20 a ride just to retrain her everytime I got on and was proactive looking at people I knew about leasing their horses that weren't being used to spend that $300 I got for house-sitting on before I spent it on items that weren't a necessity (for me).

Point is..the more you beg and sound ungrateful for getting lessons, the less chance you'll have to ride at all. I wouldn't be surprised if your parents pulled you from your lessons if you kept up the begging for your own horse. Maybe you could discuss adding some more chores in to switch from lessons to a partial-lease on a nicely-broke horse. But if they say no, don't continue to bug them, just let it go and pick up some extra chores before they ask you to do them (if you know how to do it right, that is). They might see that as responsibility and incentive to move up a little, in which they might look at as gratefulness and want to do something extra on their part to give you some more happiness.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LadyDreamer (Jan 25, 2008)

There are a lot of little odd jobs kids can do to earn money. Gardening help is one of my favorites, especially with harvesting coming up. In the spring, you can plant flower beds "$20 a garden!" Mowing lawns, raking leaves, trimming and weeding... it is a great way to earn extra cash.

Join 4H and do the oddball stuff. Enter photos, and paintings, and artwork, and STUFF in all the county and state fairs. Ribbons always got me about $2-5 each. Plus it is FUN. 

Start getting yourself on a budget. Save every little penny you find(Pennies spend the same!) and WORK for your goal. 

"WORK" does not equal "JOB". 

I know many people who have jobs that don't work(lazy jerks) and many people who work HARD that don't have jobs(deserve the jobs of the first group). 

And of course, as HARD as it is to wait, it might take you a few years to get to your goal. The wait is worth it if it means that much to you. And the harder you work, the greater the end result will feel.

As for the "Free Horse" thing. There is no such thing. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

LadyDreamer said:


> As for the "Free Horse" thing. There is no such thing.


Amen to that! My last two horses were 'free', and they're the ones who have cost me the most! :rofl:


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## HagonNag (Jul 17, 2010)

Neon, I don't know how old you are, but I'd like you to do something for yourself. Please print out your posting and put it in your diary or wherever you keep your treasures. Take it out every year on your birthday and read it.
When you start having the same reaction to it that many of the other posters on this thread are having, THEN...you might be ready to get a horse. 

Right now you just sound very young. The reasons you want a horse sound immature.
It might be eye-opening for you to see how your thinking matures as you grow up.


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## BBBCrone (Jan 28, 2012)

*Reality check*



NeonSnap said:


> So, I'm sure that every horse lover has a dream.. to own a horse. I do too, and unfortunately my parents said no. Of course they did, because horses are expensive to take care of. The horse I want is for free, but if it ends up being that I don't like him, then there is another Thoroughbred gelding I fell in love with.




Okay so you have a freebie and a fall back plan? Awesome, good for you. Except one thing. Free is never ever free when you are talking about horses. You are likely inheriting someone elses headache OR with this unfortunate economy, someone's heartache because they can't afford him/her any more. Which translates into poorly cared for horse which can drain someones bank account real fast. So once the freebie horse doesn't meet expectations we now gravitate to one that costs money to buy. See the problem here?




NeonSnap said:


> I understand the big work and effort into bringing a horse into the family and paying for board, feed, and vet/farrier bills.




I'm pretty sure you don't even remotely have an understanding of this. Because this is not the *only* thing your folks have to take into account. Not only are you asking them to be saddled with this for your "enjoyment", somehow they have to make everything else work also. Like cars for employment, insurance, rent/mortgage, electricity, water, food, your future education, clothes, etc and that's just the stuff coming off the top of my 50 year old, very sleepy brain this morning.




NeonSnap said:


> I'm far too young to work and have a job, so please don't tell me to get a job and work as much as I can.




Define far too young? Newspaper routes, yard work, farm work. Work at the barn where you take lessons. Etc, etc. You want something? Don't expect someone to hand it to you just because you want it.




NeonSnap said:


> I'm trying to find very good ways to convince my parents within a year.




Stop convincing and start showing by doing?




NeonSnap said:


> I would love to have a horse because it would be a wonderful experience and filled with joy.
> It would teach me tons of responsibility also.




Learn responsibility by going for what you want and not expecting it to be given to you just because you think you want it. These "wonderful" experiences filled with joy are expensive! Prove to them you have what it takes to have earned it.




NeonSnap said:


> It's just my parents think I'm being ungrateful for what I have. They pay money for my riding lessons and I thank them every day for that and try to work as hard as I can when they ask me to do chores.




Then stop making them ask. Do them on your own. Show you ARE responsible by taking action instead of waiting for them to ask you. You are VERY lucky in this harsh economy that they have the extra they are willing to give to you for lessons at all.




NeonSnap said:


> They say that I'm very ungrateful for wanting a horse.
> I love my parents but need huge help on how to convince them or at least make them think about getting a horse.
> I'm willing to work but the problem is is that I don't want to walk dogs or clean people's yards unless I know them, and I only know 4 houses where I live.




And here-in lies the problem. You want to dictate what you will and will not do. Unfortunately for you, life isn't like that. *NOW ... your personal safety should be at the top of your list, so being cautious is not wrong in seeking out extra work. However, I'd suggest you get with your parents and devise a plan of action where you can take on extra work safely.*

None of this is going to "convince" them of anything. The convincing starts with you and it's not the words, it's the action. Even after all of this they may not be able to afford what you want, but then in the end, YOU can afford what you want. It may take you years. That is just the way life works.


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## Country Woman (Dec 14, 2011)

Hi I am pushing 50 and just starting lessons soon 
I have always wanted a horse too when I was your age too 
I never got my horse but I did have riding lessons. I went to the 
local stable for trail rides and in exchange for riding I was a stable hand
I rode my cousins horses. When I was 15 I looked after 3 horses 
I rode 2 of them fed them cleaned the stall but I did not have to 
pay for the food ,bedding, vet bills or tack It was a win win for the owner 
and me, I had lessons when I was younger too 
I am starting lessons soon, I know this is costly too

The horse is the cheap part 
there are lessons, food, bedding, board, tack, grooming supplies, vet and farrier 
bills and more 
You sound ungrateful to your parents


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## calicokatt (Mar 5, 2012)

My kids were lucky ones. I have horses and love them, so they didn't have to beg for horses, as they are part of our life. However, I have one daughter with a bit of an attitude, and we've been through a few horses trying to find one that really suits her well. She has become a little girl who expects me to fix things for her, or just buy another horse. She was told last week, that this is the last horse, make it work or ride the old arab gelding that she hates riding, and if she ever wants another horse, she'll have to buy it herself. She was also told that she needed lessons, since she won't listen to what I say, and that she'd better hurry up and get a job to pay for them. She has a job already and is doing well, also doing well in her lessons. She's 11. If she can work to earn what she wants, I'm pretty sure you can too.


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## fkonidaris (Jan 26, 2012)

I wanted a horse for as long as I could possibly remember. I asked my parents every year, all the time. I offered to help work around the barn to defray costs of board, vet, farrier, etc. Didn't matter...too much work, too much expense, too much commitment. Never happened. I didn't get my first horse until after I put myself through college, got a good job, and saved for a couple years.


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## NevCowgirl (Jul 23, 2012)

I would wait, especially if you think you can get one horse and if you dont like it trade it for another. If you dont like the horse and want to trade it for another, it makes me wonder what you would not like about the horse that would make you want to trade it for another. Horses take a lot of ground work as well as work in the saddle, so if it is their actions you dont like then maybe you should consider becoming more familiar with horses and how to work with them. Like someone said.. maybe continue taking lessons.

I took lessons before I bought my horse and I bought her my senior year of high school. I started working my sophomore year as soon as I was old enough and I saved my money. When I bought my horse I knew my job was secure, I in fact still work there while I am going to college. Where my parents live is not zoned for horses so I ended up boarding her with the family that was teaching me how to ride, it worked out well because they helped me work with Lady on the things she needed help with. I guess I am saying that if you are getting lessons maybe that is enough for now until you can take up the responsibilty yourself. A horse would be a major responsibility on your parents side not just yours and its much more then just getting a dog or something like that. Just take it slow and take complete advantage of the lessons


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## HorseMom1025 (Jul 17, 2012)

I'm a parent who bought a horse for my 9 year old. So, let me tell you the reality of horse ownership from my perspective.

My daughter asked for riding lessons. Luckily she had two things going for her 1) parents who believe in supporting her interests and can afford to do it and 2) a horse crazy Mom. She started taking lessons and proved her dedication by never complaining when her trainer worked her hard. She never complained that it was too hot or too cold. She LISTENED to her trainer and worked hard to absorb every bit of knowledge. She was 7 years old. She started checking out books from the library about horse care and really proved to us that this was NOT a passing fancy. 

One year into lessons, she started showing on the school horses. Her dedication and focus to her sport really impressed her Dad and I. Our BO alerted us to an opportunity to lease or buy a sweet 7 year old AQH mare. After discussing costs and responsibilities, we chose to lease Acey first. This allowed us to evaluate the horse and with our trainers help determine if she was the right partner for Kitten.

We leased for 9 months. Kitten did ask if it was possible for us to buy Acey for her. Her Dad and I explained that owning a horse was twice as expensive as leasing one. We would have to see. Kitten began offing her own money to pay for play day entries and stuff for Acey. It wasn't much, but the fact that she offered without prompting told us a lot. After running the numbers, we decided that we could afford a horse, it wasn't easy and Kitten had to give up some other luxuries, but it was workable. 

We have now owned a horse for almost 4 months. It is EXPENSIVE. Between vet bills, board fees, show fees, and other expenses, we probably spend around $700 per month to support my daughters horse. That is more than my car payment! Heck, it's more than the mortgage payment on our first home. We have probably spent close to $10,000 in the past year just on tack, show clothes, horse care products and trainer fees.

I don't regret it because my daughter never expected it and she KNOWS the sacrifice we are making as a family. She never complains and is the first to volunteer to take on a task.

This ONLY works because the whole family is dedicated to her success and Acey's well-being. A young child who cannot drive and cannot "work" is dependent upon her parents when it comes to horse ownership. If your parents are not on board from the start, then I cannot see it working. 

You need to learn patience. Don't set unrealistic deadlines and lower your expectations. You are NOT entitled to own a horse, if you want one, PROVE to your parents with ACTIONS not words that you can handle the hard work an responsibility of horse ownership. You may still never obtain your goal until you are grown...learn to accept that possibility.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## fkonidaris (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm not trying to be rude here, but trying to bring some things to perspective for you. 

Some questions for you to consider...how much do YOU think it costs to own a horse? How much do YOU think it's going to cost YOUR parents per month/year? 

Okay, you have board, vet, farrier, worming. What about the unexpected vet bills? The unexpected farrier visits? The show costs if you choose to show? The cost of tack? The cost of show clothes? Training fees? Lesson fees? Gas for YOUR parents driving YOU to and from the barn to ride? Transportation fees to get your horse to and from shows or vet if vet cannot make a house call or horse requires to be moved?

Have you considered the sacrifice YOUR parents would have to make for YOU to have pleasure and enjoyment? I think it's pretty nice of your parents to even let you have lessons. I wasn't even able to take lessons growing up because it was so expensive for our family. I had the PRIVILAGE of being able to ride for about three years (and not consistently).


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## ccbmmom (Jun 23, 2012)

Growing up, I asked for a horse for every birthday and Christmas until I moved out to go to college. My parents always said no, that it was a waste of money. The only time that I got to ride was when we would visit my grandmother about once a month. 

Now, I'm grown up and have 4 kids of my own. We did get the kids a pony when they were little, but the kids outgrew the pony and three of them lost interest. So, my 2nd oldest has been taking care of the pony by himself for the past few years. He has begged us for a horse that he could ride for sometime now and said that he would pay for the horse and everything else. He saves his money (birthday money and odd job money) and it was possible for him to help out because we own our own land and wouldn't have to pay boarding every month. He has also worked with the pony, who is blind in one eye (due to a birth defect) and mostly deaf. She was a terror, but is now very sweet and very easy to work with. 

My husband was against getting him a horse because he quit football and baseball because those activities weren't his "thing" and he figured that this would just be something else that he would quit. But, after seeing how hard he worked, thought that maybe horses WERE his "thing". 

So, we thought that he proved himself and we bought a horse for all the kids to share. Now, a couple months later, my son is the only one who does anything with the horse. The other kids quickly lost interest when they realized that their brother did more than just throw food in a bucket for the pony. So, he is now the only one taking care of the horses and he is doing a very good job at it. He also just bought a new/used roping saddle this past weekend with his own money. 

So, my advice is to be patient, work hard (save your money) and prove to your parents that you are mature enough to own a horse. Because, I tell you what, the begging didn't work with my son...it was his hard work and dedication that changed our minds about getting him his horse.


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## LadyDreamer (Jan 25, 2008)

Horses are wonderful for experience. They teach you patience; and about horrible, horrible pain; and tiredness; and sore muscles; how to have and how to let go; how to deal with frustration, anger, heartbreak; how to hate and to love; sometimes you get a little pure joy in there; you learn how to respect nature and hiw to communicate with anither species; they also teach you to give up things like time and money, or show you that those things are more important; they also teach you fear. Horse ownership is a mutifaceted challenge that many people do not understand.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DressageDreamer (Feb 29, 2012)

Enjoy your lesson horses for now. Maybe you could even "share" a horse that someone has at the stable if someone doesn't have enough time to spend with their horse. I was lucky because my parents did get me ponies and then a horse, but things were cheaper then and we had our own small farm. As an adult, I work very hard to have my horses and pay for board, tack, feed, vet, farrier, etc. They are an important part of my life and I think of having them as I do having my children. Their care is my responsibility. They aren't just something fun, they are a living creature that must be provided with everything to keep them healthy, sound and happy. JMO.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Another thought.
Earning money by working to pay for your horse and saving up for it will also teach you responsibility.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

I bought mine. I was sixteen and working at a walmart type store making $100 per week.

That being said. Get your grades up, do your chores, mind your manners and hopefully it will come... if not.... don't give up on your dreams, just make them happen when you have the finances to do it yourself...


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## Gunnerssugarbar (Jul 18, 2012)

I was 34 before I was able to get my very own first horse. As someone who did have more than I deserved handed to me growing up, this was not one of them. You have no idea how fulfilling it is to earn the things that you really want and not have them handed to you. Earn it. It'll be well worth it.


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## themacpack (Jul 16, 2009)

I agree with much of what has been said above - that said, as a mother who has purchased a horse for their child I will tell you what my daughter had done to give me confidence that she was ready for the responsibility and understood the enormity of what was happening. 
My daughter had shown herself responsible by doing not just what was asked of her- but those things that she knew needed to be done, without asking. She took on repetitive chores/responsibilities. She showed a commitment to her education by maintaining stellar grades. She exhibited maturity beyond her years in dealing with the situations that had arisen in our lives leading up to the decision to make the purchase. She had created in me a confidence that she would truly appreciated just what she wanted. Most importantly, she didn't whine, demand, nag, etc about getting a darn horse. She knew that I knew what she wanted and she showed maturity in letting it be.
When the time came, she agreed to each and every one of the terms that were laid out as part of the "deal" in her being able to have a horse - education comes before horse (grades were expected to be maintained at the same level they were before horse), the responsibility of caring for the horse was HERS -financing the horse fell primarily on me, so she could "earn" that money by doing the work that came with having the horse (meaning up before school to feed/muck, feed/muck again after school, days when there is not time to ride because you have chores, other chores around the house still come before fun/riding time, etc). She has sought out and done ANY and EVERY 'little job' she can find from age of 12 to now (she'll be getting her license soon, so that will open up her options a little more) and any money she has earned has gone to pay for her horse needs. 
I know there are those who still probably believe my daughter shouldnt have been given the horse when she was, but that was a judgement call for ME to make as her mother and she has not caused me to question or regret that call one time in the four years we have had Aero.


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## Copperhead (Jun 27, 2012)

Your parents probably think this horse thing is a passing phase and don't want to commit to a horse if you have a good chance of falling out of the sport in a year or two, which happens very commonly.

A horse won't teach you responsibility. You have to already be responsible to successfully own a horse.

It will take years to prove that this isn't a passing phase, and that you're responsible enough to care for your own horse. And even then, they still might chose not to buy...which is completely their choice and one you should respect.

Until then, be happy with your lessons. Many horse crazy kids don't have that opportunity.


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## themacpack (Jul 16, 2009)

I guess the summary of what I was saying is - actions speak louder than words. If you want them to think of you as being ready/deserving of a horse - SHOW them that you are exactly that. It will no happen overnight.......and that is part of the challenge, that you show the commitment even when you aren't getting instant gratification!


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## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

Hey now, I think a few of you are being just a little too harsh. The OP (take no offense to this) is much younger in years than most of the people on the forum. You cannot talk to someone still learning as you would another adult. She asked for advice, not getting ripped to shreds, so I'm going to give her some. TACTFULLY. 

First off, I know what you mean when you say there's only 4 people you really know that you could do jobs for. In this day and age, I don't think it's safe to go do odd jobs for people you don't know when you're young. Adults generally have the experience to know when someone is a little off or untrustworthy. But younger people may not. You're smaller and easier to take advantage of. Don't take offense to any of this, as I'm not sure of your exact age. You shouldn't do jobs for people you or your family doesn't know.

However, you can ask those people you know as well as relatives if they have any odd jobs for you to do. Gardening, pet care, and cleaning services are greatly appreciated. Babysitting is also a great money maker, and you could probably do it for people you don't know real well as long as you babysit at your house, not theirs, and your parents are around when you have contact with them. 

See if you can do work at your lesson barn in exchange for a discount on lessons. This is actually a win-win situation. You learn more about horse care AND your parents get to spend less money on lessons. Make sure you're acting responsibly at home and doing your best in school. Your parents will notice!

Next, you need to have answers to these questions before you approach your parents about a horse:

-How much will it cost to buy the horse?
-How much will it cost in a month or a year to care for the horse?
-Where will you keep the horse?
-If you're keeping it at home, do you have a shelter for your horse as well as a paddock? If no, how will you build one and where will you build it?
-If you're boarding your horse, how much will it cost for a month and what services will be offered?
-How much time will you have to spend with your horse, realistically?
-Do you have the skills to care for a horse as well as ride it? (you better answer yes to this one)
-If the horse stays at your horse, do you have the time to feed it twice a day, scoop poop, water, and groom, as well as ride?
-Does your family have the money to own the horse?
-Be honest - Will you be into horses for a long time or just for a while?

I recommend you also research what it will cost to own your horse. You have to have these things in mind:

-Tack (your saddle, bridle, blanket, girth, bit, and any other 'extras' your horse needs)
-Halter and lead (better get two to have an extra)
-Grooming equipment (comb, curry comb, metal curry comb, body brush, dandy brush, hoof pick)
-Boarding fees or fees to have a building and fencing at home
-Yearly vet fees (vaccinations and floating)
-Farrier fees (every 6-8 weeks...will the horse need shoes or not because that costs more)
-Wormer 
-Feed (hay, grain if your horse needs it, possibly vitamins or supplements)
-Stable items (buckets, pitchfork, etc.)
-Rider equipment (helmet, boots, possibly half chaps and breeches and gloves)
-Blanket (if you live somewhere cold)
-Fly spray (possibly fly masks and fly blankets)
-Show supplies (hose, shampoo, conditioner, rubber bands, yarn, detangler, hoof polish...if you choose to show)
-Show clothing (shirt, jacket, breeches, boots, gloves, stock pin...or shirt, chaps, cowboy boots, and cowboy hat)
-Trailer (unless you know someone that can trailer you)
-Truck (read above)
-Other things that I haven't listed
-Emergency vet calls - because you WILL have these sometime or another

I can tell you right now that you won't be able to pay for your entire horse off of odd jobs. But you can help contribute. I wouldn't beg consistently about a horse. But do let your parents know that your desire to have a horse isn't going to go away. Enjoy your lessons and learn everything you possibly can about horses. You still might not get the horse, but it will help. When you are of age, go get a job - that helps a lot.

My experience is similar: I wanted a horse really badly from 3rd grade on up. I took lessons once a week, but that wasn't enough. I read horse books all the time. I had magazine subscriptions and collected Breyer horses. Horse posters filled my walls. Every story I had was about horses. I watched the Saddle Club. I drew horses. I pretended I had a horse. We moved out to the country and I tried even harder to convince my parents to get me a horse. They wouldn't, and I gave up - but only for a little while. After seven years of this horse craze, I got my first horse. Let me share with you my experience because I think it will help you:

I found my horse on equine.com, about 15 minutes away from me. He wasn't anything too special, but the ad said he was safe and went English and western. Sounded good. I convinced my parents to look at him. He was totally sane when I rode him in the round pen and seemed well-mannered. We made the arrangement to buy the horse, Rusty.

We bought a round pen that would be Rusty's stall. My parents bought that. I bought most of Rusty's tack brand new or lightly used - I held a part-time job that, at the time, I really hated. I also bought the extra, necessary stuff, like buckets and grooming supplies. My parents had the truck, bought a dinky trailer, and I paid for a 1/3 of my horse - about $1000. 

Rusty got home, and I was a nervous wreck. First horse and all. He was flighty and stubborn - not at all like he was before. We had to put in a lot of hard work making him a small paddock - lots of sweat and measuring. Everytime I rode that horse, he would try to run home or would scare me. He even scared me on the ground. At fair time, I couldn't get him to load into the trailer. It took 2 hours to get him on. And he was supposed to hop right in.

I'll spare you some of the other agonizing details. Basically, I had no idea what I was doing with Rusty on the ground - and the saddle wasn't much better. I had a lot of "hard moments" where I learned through experience. And I learned, after a year and a half, that I had to be a lot more firm with Rusty. Also, the expenses don't stop. We're always running to get feed or some extra horse thing. Rusty's changed bits three or four different times. I started lessons in English riding to refine this horse, who went from nothing special to something ornery...just because I didn't handle him right. And I pay for my lessons. I've bought lots of different tack over the past two years and have replaced a lot of things. We invested in a trailer, which was actually the best investment ever. I've paid show dues, farrier bills, extra vet bills...and, on top of that, I'm in college now and drive a pickup truck to commute, which does not do good gas mileage. Over this summer, I work about 30 hours a week, more if I can get the hours. I'll work 20 during school. 

The result though: A horse that I can ride anywhere, parades, on the road, you name it, and nothing special is turning into a great hunter horse. But you gotta be prepared for a lot of hard work and money - in other words, you'll probably be spending more on your horse than you.

Bottom line: Have a plan, be responsible, and BE PATIENT. Horses eat money and poop it out the other end. 

I do regret not having a horse sooner in life though. I think of all the friends I could've made and how much farther I could be in my training. Just the younger kid stuff - I wish I could go back already!

Enough babbling for me - Keep your chin up. You'll get a horse someday if you stick your mind to it.


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## Country Woman (Dec 14, 2011)

I like what Corazon Lock says here


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## eclipseranch (May 31, 2012)

hey Kiddo, I hope you hold on to those dreams of yours..hopes & dreams are great motivators in life. I had those same dreams when I was a young girl..I kept every penny I got in a box in hopes that my parents would say yes..they never did. Life went on, I grew up, had kids of my own..then was faced with Mom, can I do this? as a previous poster said my daughter was very young but very responsible at a young age. she went through a lot of trials..such as lessons some tough, including getting thrown from a horse & getting right back on, coold winter/hot summer no moaning or groaning, we decided to lease, 2nd daughter started lessons...same trials. they do both own not 1 but 2 horses each now and yes they are theirs...they clean the stalls, they feed, they water, they groom, take care of their own tack, lung their own horses & ride...obviously I pay the bills since they are kids but I couldn't ask for better daughters, they don't complain when it 430 am and they are feeding cause the horses need to get turned out & in before it gets too hot...the other day I picked up 250 bales of hay weighing approx 60lbs a piece & offered to pay them to move/stack it...they said no to the money & helped without hesitation. so bottom line is be the best kid you can be..that doesn't mean you can't make mistakes..we all do, but learn from mistakes, show your parents consistently that you are responsible & respectful, get good grades, etc and you might be very surprised to find out you don't have to convince your parents anything...they will already be convinced & you just might get that horse!!


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

A scary thing happens when you age, the expressions that your Mother said that drove you mad as a kid - start coming out of your own mouth. The one that comes to mind now is: 

"I want, doesn't get"


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## themacpack (Jul 16, 2009)

AlexS said:


> A scary thing happens when you age, the expressions that your Mother said that drove you mad as a kid - start coming out of your own mouth. The one that comes to mind now is:
> 
> "I want, doesn't get"


LOL - how true is that -- I catch myself "channeling my mother" all the time :lol:


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## HagonNag (Jul 17, 2010)

ROFLMAO

This is probably off topic but I'm reminded of my mother...the most empathetic of women...NOT. When I was in labor with my first child she told me to shut up! She was tired of hearing that I couldn't stand it. Her comment: "If you can't stand it you'll either pass out or die and it will be blessedly quiet in here!" Is it any wonder that my daughter and I are very stoic about pain???

Her two favorite sayings: Wish in one hand, spit in the other and see which fills up first....
OR... Life is hard and then you die.

She's been gone now over 20 years and I still find myself wanting to talk with her.


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## Cinder (Feb 20, 2011)

Okay, whoah guys. Some of you need to calm down just a tad. I don't know exactly how old this kid is, but she's probably just that- a kid, or a teenager. 

You don't know her situation. I'm fifteen, and my parents _refuse to let me work_. I have looked around for jobs since I was about thirteen, and it's always been the same story- you're too young. I have asked multiple times, explained my reasoning, but thus far they don't seem to be budging. I hope that since I'll be turning sixteen soon they'll let up, but I don't know. There's no way they would let me walk dogs, mow lawns, etc, as they always say there's "too many crazies out there". 

Anyways, OP. I understand your situation. First of all you have to HONESTLY ask yourself some questions:

1: Do you have enough experience to own a horse and take care of it? This means several years of lessons, preferably a few leases, things like that. 
2: Do you have an experienced horse person who can help you out if you don't know what to do? 
3: Do your parents make enough money to get a horse and care for it? Remember, there needs to be money put away for surprise vet bills. Free horses are often *more* expensive in the long run because they often have health or soundness issues. 
4: Are your parents open to the idea at all? Sometimes, non-horse people are just that, and will stay that way forever, and will never be open to the idea of paying for a horse. 
5: Are you going to stay committed to your horse? It's summer now (at least where I live), but once school starts, will you still be able to dedicate time to your horse, and still keep your grades up? 
6: Would waiting a few years be better?

Now, as for persuading your parents. I would get the idea of a time limit out of your head. I understand the want to have a horse NOW, but it's not reasonable. Now, are you communicating your desires effectively? That is, are you remaining calm, logical, and stating that you are grateful for what you currently have, etc. Are you talking to your parents at a time where they're not busy, are in a good mood, and are relatively open-minded? For my parents, timing is everything. I find that my Dad is most receptive to anything about horses right after a lesson. 

Sometimes, it's just hard to get ideas across in speech. People become flustered, you're stuck on words, etc. A good idea is to write a letter and put it where you know your parents will see it. If you can, do something outside of the horse when you think they'll read it. Take a walk, play with your pet, etc. Then, come inside and see what they have to say. 

Some ideas are:

*Promise to keep your GPA at a certain number. 
*Mention that you can work off some of the board. (At most barns). 
*Agree that there would be no more presents of any kind. All of the money that would be spent on that can go toward what your parents want, but would presumably be going toward your horse. 
*If you currently do chores, do more or do them more often. 
*Mention how you have progressed in riding, and list how riding can benefit people. 
*Break down the expenses openly and honestly. Many people know horses are "expensive", but few know the actual costs. This may either put horses out of the running for good or help your parents see what they're actually going to be paying, and start thinking about it. 
*Whatever else you can think of. Be creative!

Good luck and I hope you can eventually persuade them!

Again, people. Just because a child wants something does not make them ungrateful, etc, etc. I am sure that once upon a time many of you wanted _something_ from your parents, and didn't immediately feel ashamed or walk uphill both ways to school. I feel like I've said this before, lol. 

Also, OP, remember that persuasion takes time. A lot of time. Be patient.


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## LonesomeRanch (Jul 6, 2012)

I wasn't allowed lessons. My patents thought it was too expensive. I had to wait until I was 22 and a friend invited me to ride. At 24 I bought my own house/property. At 26 I did all the work to put up a barn and fence ALL ALONE. and now Im 29 with 3 horses, and let me tell you, they are my life. I had to wait til a year ago to have a truck and trailer also. 

This is all I do every day, I live my childhood dreams. Its not easy, but how many people get to? Don't let go of it, just stop begging and wait, it will come some day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

*I want a horse*

I was a horse mad daughter and I am also the mother of horse mad children so I have sat on both sides of the fence. My children are lucky because I am on hand to help and understand how they feel, my father rode as child and had to help his horse mad parents so he knew what it was all about and my mother was born horse mad I think.
There is no real cheap way to keep a horse properly, the actual cost of buying one is zero compared to the annual expense and it could be that it would put a financial burden on your parents that they can't afford - sepecially when the +$1000 vets bill comes in for an illness or accident you haden't planned for
When I was ill or up to my neck in exams it was my parents who had to step in and take over, they were the ones constantly running me around to lessons and competitions, family holidays can become difficult if you have to find someone to care for your horse, other family members might feel left out when they see all the money going into your passion. The support and help I needed from my parents was enormous and took sacrifice on their part but I can see why many parents feel overwhelmed by the mere thought of it
Have you thought of maybe getting a job at a yard evenings and weekends so you can spend as much time as you can with horses until you are old enough to afford to buy one of your own?


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## NeonSnap (Jul 27, 2012)

I appreciate all of the good advice people have given me. How ever I didn't ask for this topic to be about critiquing me and how immature or new I am. I've been riding for 5 years and an willing to do as much work possible. Please don't call me immature or that I don't have a clue to how much a horse takes. Thank you for all of the great ideas and I will start working as soon as possible.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NeonSnap (Jul 27, 2012)

wetrain17 said:


> What have you done to show your parents you deserve a horse?


I work three days a week at the barn and I do simple chores. Yes, I know that simple chores aren't enough, but I will start doing more hard chores and work for the people I know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CMC (Jul 20, 2012)

What do you count as most important in your life--a horse or having a good relationship with your parents? If you get a horse, even if it's free, it's going to cost your parents far more than you can realize. How good do you think your relationship with them will be when they start having to pay all those bills (and there will be bills) that they knew were coming but you ignored?


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## vthorse (Apr 25, 2012)

If you are "far too young" to get a job, then in my opinion you are also far too young to be on this forum without your parents' permission.


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## verona1016 (Jul 3, 2011)

Not what you want to hear, but be happy you're getting lessons and worry about getting a horse of your own later when you can work to help chip in. I didn't get lessons until I got a paid summer internship in college and could afford them for myself.


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## Country Woman (Dec 14, 2011)

there is another post by a young woman in your situation 
you should read that post 
never nag 
be positive and show your parents you are responsible and 
serious and 'mature'' enough


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## NeonSnap (Jul 27, 2012)

vthorse said:


> If you are "far too young" to get a job, then in my opinion you are also far too young to be on this forum without your parents' permission.


?? I'm not too young to join this forum, Please don't state that I never got my parents' permission or that I'm too young.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sommsama09 (Oct 28, 2010)

Ok.... Go get a job - yes get off your butt - if you want something bad enough WORK for it... thats what I did... :shock: If you are pulling out the excuses and dont even have a horse yet, how will your parents believe you are reliable.


You may see me as being mean , but im just getting you to face reality that will HELP get you a horse.
Vthorse does have a point.. if you are old enough to go on a social site - you can work. Go try... even if you start off small and work up its better than nothing - and it proves you work well.. Go get some references - maybe even do a bit of free work if you cant find paid work - so you get your self known as a honest and reliable worker, then use the references and get a job.


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## myhorsesonador (Jun 21, 2009)

NeonSnap said:


> ?? I'm not too young to join this forum, Please don't state that I never got my parents' permission or that I'm too young.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I doubt your parents let you join an online forum so you can get advice on forcing them to buy you a horse.

An just so you know, this forum has age rules. If you arn't old enough for a job, then you should be alowed in this section of the forum, due to the age restrictions.

If they said no, that means no. Unless you can pay for it, then just keep dreaming for a while. Be glad for what you have, most people don't even get the chance to be near horses.


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## Cinder (Feb 20, 2011)

Actually, sixteen is the age I'm familiar with in most states where you can work without getting working papers. Fifteen is the age cut off for the forum. The OP seems to have a good grasp of the English language, something someone too young for a forum probably wouldn't have. 

Also, she's not trying to force them. The title states "persuade". Totally different things. 

You're being kind of harsh. If she can't work, for one reason or another, telling her to "get off her butt" won't fix it. 

If I would've accepted "no" with my parents in regards to horses, there is no way I would be leasing, taking lessons, or basically doing anything with horses right now. I had a dream, I had passion, so I didn't take no for an answer. I persuaded. I nagged. I did what I had to do. 

Parents are not the same as gods. Not even close. They are at their core, regular people. Just like me, or the OP, or you. Yes, you should respect them. Yes, you should value their opinion. _No_, you should not take their word as gospel. 

I've seen this same attitude from the forum before, and it really bothers me. Some of the people are acting as if people under eighteen can not only do whatever they want if they ~try hard enough~, but are stupid and spoiled if they do anything less than climb a mountain for what they want. Because back in my day, we suffered! We worked! We never wanted nor asked nor did anything less than perfection! 

So, OP. Do what you have to do for your dream. Get a job, if you possibly can- I don't know. Read up on how to write persuasive things- there are a lot of helpful techniques out there. I think you're probably plenty grateful for what you already have, but there is _nothing_ wrong with wanting more out of life. Maybe you'll eventually be able to persuade your parents to get you a horse- probably after showing a whole lot of hard work and perseverance- and maybe you'll have to wait. But you won't know until you try.


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## myhorsesonador (Jun 21, 2009)

Cinder said:


> Actually, sixteen is the age I'm familiar with in most states where you can work without getting working papers. Fifteen is the age cut off for the forum. The OP seems to have a good grasp of the English language, something someone too young for a forum probably wouldn't have.
> 
> Also, she's not trying to force them. The title states "persuade". Totally different things.
> 
> ...


No sorry, your wrong with that last part. I'm 19, and if my parents said no it means NO. If I were to push it, I'd not only have my butt busted, I'd be grounded. 

I think it's ungreatful to beg for some thing that costs so much. Not only does it cost a lot, but it is an inconveniance to the whole family.


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## Prinella (Jul 12, 2011)

Heck I'm 23 this week and I live under my parents roof therefore I abide by their rules or I move out. Why do I live there? Because I can't afford to move out between working part time, instructing, going to uni, doing 2 days a week volunteer work to further my career and of course owning 2 horses. 

Prin was a free lease when I was 15, free agistment, most feed provided and thanks to the ground and her feet no farrier her feet magically trimmed themselves! I was INSANELY lucky. Ella I was given around my 18th really I wasn't prepared for either of them. 

Somewhere along the line prin became mine. I didn't need a vet until I'd taken over full care fo both horses and had a job that was sheer dumb luck. Even then there are days I struggle. 

My parents are amazing if I need money for something it goes on the tab. Medication, farrier etc It took me a long time to prove myself. Before owning prin I worked at a riding school every weekend and as often as I could on the holidays. All gear I pay for or we agree that it's a present. Birthday, Xmas etc

I'd look at a lease horse much cheaper and if it doesn't go right easier to keep looking


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## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

Okay, let's clear up some simple things people have apparently forgotten.

1. Kids really aren't supposed to move out until they are 18. That is when they are an ADULT. Someone under the age of 18 is still a KID. 

1A. By the way, a KID can be just as smart, if not smarter, than an ADULT at times. Yes, adults tend to have more experience in life, but that doesn't mean a kid doesn't understand what an adult does understand. 

2. In most places, you CANNOT get hired until you are 16. There are too many laws about 14 and 15 year olds being employed for most places to want to deal with hiring them. And there are rules about when 14 and 15 year olds can work, how many hours a day they can work, and how many hours a week they can work. There's certain machines 14 and 15 year olds can't run, and they can't cashier in some places because they can't sell alcohol, cigarettes, or lottery tickets. 

2A. A parent might refuse to let a child have a job due to lack of transportation or time. In one of my college classes, a study said that teenagers with part-time jobs tended to do worse in school. School is the #1 priority. So I can see where a parent would not want a child to work.

3. There's a difference between nagging and persuasion. Nagging is like a little dog pulling and pulling on your pant leg. Persuasion is an art. It's making the better argument - oh, and by the way - argument can be used in different ways, such as arguing for a DEBATE. 

4. Generally, it's quite rude to squash people's passions and bring them down. I think HF, whenever you log on, reminds you to post in a HELPFUL and CHEERFUL manner. Being super critical and yelling at this person for posting this is borderline rude. If you're an adult, be one and act like one. 

5. There are many young people on this forum. There doesn't seem to be an age limit on Horse Talk. If you want an adult conversation, go to the Saloon. 

Point blank: Be helpful. Kids have limits and restrictions. THEY ARE NOT ADULTS. I'd hate to think some people speak this way in real life. That is not the way to get around in the world. Be tactful. Be generous and kind. BE TACTFUL.

OP, keep on trying. Don't listen to those that are trying to squelch your efforts.


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## Cinder (Feb 20, 2011)

> No sorry, your wrong with that last part. I'm 19, and if my parents said no it means NO. If I were to push it, I'd not only have my butt busted, I'd be grounded.
> 
> I think it's ungreatful to beg for some thing that costs so much. Not only does it cost a lot, but it is an inconveniance to the whole family.


How dare you insinuate that I am ungrateful. I am grateful for everything I have in life- my family isn't rich, and I know how hard they work to pay for everything they get for us, and I know that a luxury like horses puts a strain on the budget. I live it and breathe it every single day of my life, especially at school, when I work my butt off in order to make my parents proud. I am extremely grateful, and I know that I could not be riding horses.

Because there was a point in my life, not long ago, where I wasn't riding horses. I couldn't even see them. I borrowed every single non-fiction book my local library had on horses, and read them all front to back, and probably most of the fiction ones as well. I asked my parents- politely- if I could maybe go on a trail ride. 

"No, sorry."

So you know what I did? I wrote letters to my parents. I asked them. I explained my reasoning, and left the room frustrated many times. 

And I never gave up. Eventually, I got to go to a horse camp once a summer- five or six days of riding a year. And I was so happy. 

But, you know what? Five or six days wasn't enough. Not by a long shot. So it was trail rides on special occasions. And then, after much searching, and more persuasion, I got lessons every other week. It was a LOT of riding for me, something I thought I'd never have. 

Then, the lessons went from every other week to every week. 

This June, I showed the grades I had worked hard for to my parents- and I got to lease. The entire summer. 

A show in June, and one coming up in August. Possibly more to come later. 

I wasn't handed riding. I worked tooth and nail to get it, a piece at a time, trying to get my parents to understand- even a little- what I was doing and why, and why I should be doing it. 

IF I had accepted no for an answer, I wouldn't be where I am right now.

And no, my parents would not "bust my butt" or ground me just for asking for something I love to do, because they KNOW that I work hard, try my best in school, don't break any rules, and all that stuff. They KNOW I'm grateful for everything I get and more. That's the only reason they're letting me ride- my Dad has said it to me several times, and they expect the best out of me. I give it to them. 

It doesn't inconvenience my family, at the end of the day, they like and are proud that they can give me this gift.

That's why I believe in working for what you are passionate about. That's why I believe in persuading, and asking, and doing WHATEVER in order to get to your goal. It's why I don't think you should let one "no", or a thousand "no"s get in the way of your dream. If you want it, ASK FOR IT, the worst they can say is "no"- again, and again, possibly. I found it necessary to ask in order to prove that it wasn't a phase, OP. And if I can do it, you, and nearly anyone, can.

TL;DR: Asking your parents for something has not and never will be a sin.


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## myhorsesonador (Jun 21, 2009)

Cinder said:


> But, you know what? Five or six days wasn't enough. Not by a long shot.


And thats not ungreatful? If I could even get that I'd be happy, lots of people would be happy to have even that.

What you did, was nag, and it worked. If I did that, I already told you what would happen.


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## Gunnerssugarbar (Jul 18, 2012)

myhorsesonador said:


> And thats not ungreatful? If I could even get that I'd be happy, lots of people would be happy to have even that.
> 
> What you did, was nag, and it worked. If I did that, I already told you what would happen.



5 or 6 days a YEAR.... not week. I'm sorry I've been reading this thread because it took a lot for me to get where I am and I have to say enough is enough! Honestly if you had a child that REALLY wanted something so bad they could feel it in their bones and you kept saying 'no, no no' without even trying to find a way for them to even participate after showing their responsibility with good grades, manners and helping around the house and you still say no? Well I hope I'm never that type of parent. Helping your child find a way to do what they love is not the same as handing it to them. Whining and carrying on while doing nothing....that's nagging. BIG difference.


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## myhorsesonador (Jun 21, 2009)

Gunnerssugarbar said:


> 5 or 6 days a YEAR.... not week. I'm sorry I've been reading this thread because it took a lot for me to get where I am and I have to say enough is enough! Honestly if you had a child that REALLY wanted something so bad they could feel it in their bones and you kept saying 'no, no no' without even trying to find a way for them to even participate after showing their responsibility with good grades, manners and helping around the house and you still say no? Well I hope I'm never that type of parent. Helping your child find a way to do what they love is not the same as handing it to them. Whining and carrying on while doing nothing....that's nagging. BIG difference.


Well horses cost money, it doesn't grow on trees. Good grades, and chores don't turn into money. It's not the job of a parent to give you every thing you want, it's to raise you the best they can, and turn you into a responsible adult. Not a nagging brat that pesters till they get what they want.


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## Gunnerssugarbar (Jul 18, 2012)

myhorsesonador said:


> Well horses cost money, it doesn't grow on trees. Good grades, and chores don't turn into money. It's not the job of a parent to give you every thing you want, it's to raise you the best they can, and turn you into a responsible adult. Not a nagging brat that pesters till they get what they want.


Like I said..enough is enough. I think that's enough of calling people nagging brats.


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## Cinder (Feb 20, 2011)

> nd that's not ungreatful? If I could even get that I'd be happy, lots of people would be happy to have even that.
> 
> What you did, was nag, and it worked. If I did that, I already told you what would happen.


From the posts you've done on this forum, I got the idea you ride more than five or six times a year? 

I KNOW lots of people would be happy with that, and I WAS. I was thrilled. I planned and looked forward ALL YEAR to that. BUT my love of horses wasn't completely satisfied or content with a bit less than a week of riding time in a year. 

I guess you could say I nagged. If that makes me a bad daughter, I guess I must be horrible! I mean, I could be doing drugs or something, but nope. Obviously I'm horrible enough as it is. 



> Well horses cost money, it doesn't grow on trees. Good grades, and chores don't turn into money. It's not the job of a parent to give you every thing you want, it's to raise you the best they can, and turn you into a responsible adult. Not a nagging brat that pesters till they get what they want.


My parents don't give me everything I want- if they did, oh my, I would have books, electronics, riding clothes, GALORE. Galore, I say. However, they picked what I like the most- riding- and pay for that and what is necessary, such as food, clothes, etc. Very little else. 

Well, off to be a horrible daughter!


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## HorseMom1025 (Jul 17, 2012)

As a parent, I still say horses are a major luxury. If my family were to find ourselves in financial trouble, the horse would be one of the first expenses we cut (saving us close to $700 per month). It would be devastating because I love that horse almost as much as my daughter does. However, if I have to prioritize, our home, water, lights and food for the family would always come first.

While I try to be honest with my daughter regarding our financial situation, I know many parents that are not comfortable sharing that information with their kids. To the OP, I don't know how much information you know about your family's financials, but if you are determined to have your own horse than you need to present a better argument than "I really want one and it would be SO rewarding if you bought me one!". 

There is another young person on this forum who has done her research and is putting together a realistic proposal for her parents' consideration. That's the best method for convincing parents you are serious. The answer may still be No... But perhaps your parents will open up and explain their reasoning giving you a better understanding of what you need to do to overcome their objections. 

Until you are an independent adult paying your own way, your parents DO get the final say... And you need to accept that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Gremmy (Feb 17, 2009)

Well, I was another kid who never got a horse. Started asking when I was 5 or 6, and I tried every trick in the book. It has nothing to do with not deserving the horse or my parents not supporting my passions.

The cost is more of an issue than you can imagine - if your parents are paying for the horse, even if you're helping, they are taking on the responsibility of that horse. If that horse needs vet care, it's their call. If you get bored of the horse, it's on them to care for it and/or find a buyer for it. That's a lot to ask of someone.

It took me a long time to realize that the reason my parents never got me a horse was because in the end it would be their animal, and they didn't want a horse. The health board on here is full of young horse owners who, when faced with a medical issue, have their hands tied because their parents are not horse people, don't know when a vet is warranted, and are ultimately responsible for making the call.

I watched a lot of friends get horses of their own. Trust me, spending your teen years horseless isn't the end of the world. Not having a horse of my own meant I rode a huge variety of horses. I learned how to handle all sorts of training issues this way. I learned a lot from watching my friends and their own horses from the sidelines - the downside to horse ownership; colic, freak accidents, progressive lameness, and the emotional and financial toll it takes to be attached to a horse you can no longer ride. I was lucky enough to learn from mistakes without having made them. 

Most of all, many of my friends had to sell their horses when they started college. Your parents aren't going to pay for this horse forever, and college/university is extremely expensive. My friends had to deal with the heartbreak of losing their best friend after only a few short years, in order to get the education they needed to be able to afford a horse on their own in the future. Granted, there are many people on here who have been able to juggle horse ownership and post secondary education, but it's a hard way to go.

Your parents are well aware you want a horse. If they change their minds, you'll get a horse. 5 years is nothing, and in no time you'll be on your own to purchase your own horse. Take that time to ride as many different horses are you can, gain some experience and learn as much as you can. Focus on school and figure out what kind of career will play to your strengths and get you the horse you want. You've mentioned a couple of horses you've fallen in love with - there will be plenty of those. Appreciate them and learn from them. Same with your parents, appreciate them, share your passion with them and respect their limitations.


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

I got a Lease horse 50 $ a week cheap... but i ride 3 times a week ( and his a very safe horse who suits, my experience) i dont have a job, but i work my hardest at school i get A pluses allot and im grateful for food on my table. Knowing what its like to be deprived living accommodations and having to use a public bathroom for a long time and not living in a normal house with a father who couldn't feed me good food and some times not much ! i am just so grateful to live in a normal house. Today i worked over 13 hours on one assignment because i want to get a good education, and career if you CARE so much about horses you would work your hardest at SCHOOL and not waste your time looking after a horse you have no experience to handle ( seeing as you have never owned a horse ). Work YOUR HARDEST AT SCHOOl get into an EQUINE INDUSTRY COURSE get a good career or traineeship when you Finish year 12 and start to lease or own than do it your self don't start to be a pauper now, or you wont be able to feed your horse.


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## meganishername (Nov 29, 2011)

Horses are expensive.
I work to pay for mine.
If you want a horse bad enough, you'll need to be responsible.


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## myhorsesonador (Jun 21, 2009)

Cinder said:


> From the posts you've done on this forum, I got the idea you ride more than five or six times a year?
> 
> I KNOW lots of people would be happy with that, and I WAS. I was thrilled. I planned and looked forward ALL YEAR to that. BUT my love of horses wasn't completely satisfied or content with a bit less than a week of riding time in a year.
> 
> ...


I sold my horse a year ago, and it was a horse I never asked for. She was a gift when my parents felt they had the money, and time. They knew I wanted one, but I never really asked. Last year we built a house, and we ran out if money, ao I sold her.

I've been on a horse 4 rimes this year for a 30while minute lesson a barn I hate, but it was cheap. We eventualy ran out if money again.

Now I have graduated, got a job, and saving for my own horse again. I know how hard it is ehen thats all you live, and breath, but no means no and thats the end of it. I don't go to the movies, I dont go out and hang with friends, I sit at home and do research on horses.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

NeonSnap said:


> So, I'm sure that every horse lover has a dream.. to own a horse. I do too, and unfortunately my parents said no. Of course they did, because horses are expensive to take care of. The horse I want is for free, but if it ends up being that I don't like him, then there is another Thoroughbred gelding I fell in love with.
> I understand the big work and effort into bringing a horse into the family and paying for board, feed, and vet/farrier bills.
> I'm far too young to work and have a job, so please don't tell me to get a job and work as much as I can.
> I'm trying to find very good ways to convince my parents within a year.
> ...


 Have you tried the pouty face & sticking your bottom lip out? How about the "If you loved me, you'd buy me a horse" whilst crying routine? Or my personal favorite, the silent, broody brat behaviour? When your parents ask what's wrong, you reply "My life is horrible and I feel depressed because I don't have a horse, (insert big SIGH, and a tear or 2). All worked rather successfully for me when I was young.


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## EvilHorseOfDoom (Jun 17, 2012)

waresbear said:


> Have you tried the pouty face & sticking your bottom lip out? How about the "If you loved me, you'd buy me a horse" whilst crying routine? Or my personal favorite, the silent, broody brat behaviour? When your parents ask what's wrong, you reply "My life is horrible and I feel depressed because I don't have a horse, (insert big SIGH, and a tear or 2). All worked rather successfully for me when I was young.


All of those would have got me a clip across the ear and no dinner LOL.

OP, have you asked your parents why they said no? When I was 12 I came into the kitchen one night for a drink of water and found my parents doing the accounts. When I looked at the income and balance lines, I realised just how poor we were and never asked for anything again. I would have realised earlier if I'd known that most kids don't sleep in old sleeping bags on the floor with 3 to a bedroom, most mums don't wash clothes by hand and dad wasn't wearing threadbare clothes by choice... I smartened up real quick, realised my parents were doing the best they could and I decided to study hard and work as soon as I could.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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