# Pink Prancer Rides a Horse



## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Hello!

I have been apprehensive about starting my own journal here on these forums as I do not feel I have much of value to add, but I accomplished a major personal goal of mine yesterday and I just feel I have to share!

Bear in mind, I'm a fair bit older than most folks who begin their riding journey (while I took a few lessons as a child, that was so long ago I essentially consider myself a brand-new rider) so I know this may seem a bit silly. However, this was a very huge deal for me! 

Backing up a bit to clarify, I have a lot of fear around horses and I am not a confident rider. So my trainer spends a lot of time on groundwork with me as I slowly build up my confidence with my lesson horse ( a lovely quarter horse named Jack ). My training is described as 'self-paced' which I greatly appreciate, as I never feel I am pushed beyond my boundaries, yet as I know I want to improve and not be held back, I feel like I am more in control in taking the lead on overcoming the things I am most fearful of. 

One of the major things I most afraid of is being kicked. So it's likely no surprise that I have avoided cleaning the back feet in every lesson (not to worry, his hooves ARE picked out, just not by me). I know how to do it as I did learn when I was younger, but the fear of picking up his back legs had me pretty shaken now as an adult. But I had started cleaning his front feet two weeks ago, and I know this is something I have to do. I won't bore you with the details as I'm sure it's not too interesting for anyone used to horses, but my trainer was so patient, walked me through the process step by step without any pressure and I did it! Not just one leg either, but both!

However! That is not even the most exciting part!

Because even more than being kicked, I am deathly terrified of being bit. So, I have never, ever, not even once, put a bridle on a horse. And when I pulled up for my lesson yesterday, I KNEW this was something I was going to try. I was feeling somewhat more confident after I'd managed to clean his back feet, but once I had that bridle in hand my heart started pounding! It was like I couldn't breathe, and even though Jack is so sweet and calm, I had this twisting in my gut that I was going to hurt him or spook him or annoy him. 

Of course, I know I can trust my trainer (it's like the irrational side of my brain takes over in the moment and only looking back can I remind myself that I am in very good hands and absolutely nothing bad is going to happen to either me or Jack). And after helping me calm down, he eased me into some exercises to connect with Jack, figure out my body language when being so close to his mouth, and together, after about a literal 15 minutes, we slowly, slowly, put the bridle on!_ I put the bridle on!!!_

I wanted to scream I was so excited, but of course I couldn't haha, so my trainer and I had a soft-spoken hurrah of celebration. 

So that's my huge, enormous oh-so exciting accomplishment! This is my 6th lesson, and I'm personally extremely pleased with how far I've come on groundwork alone  Now if only I could wrap my head around the quick release knot and I'll be good to go!


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## AJ Yammie (Dec 20, 2020)

PinkPrancer said:


> Hello!
> 
> I have been apprehensive about starting my own journal here on these forums as I do not feel I have much of value to add, but I accomplished a major personal goal of mine yesterday and I just feel I have to share!
> 
> ...


Great job!!! That’s great you’ve come over your fear. My dad was kicked in the head by a cranky OTTB so for a long time I was scared to pick out hooves until I was handed my coaches horse and he said “get him ready” and walked off, I had no choice to do it. I very cautiously said “pick up” and tapped him on the hock and he lifted it so slow and gently a baby could do his hooves. Keep it up!


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## AbbySmith (Nov 15, 2020)

Yay for you!!! Good job!! 👍🤗


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Welcome to the forum! The journals are the best part, in my opinion 😄 Congrats on overcoming those fears and moving forward. Sounds like you have two very patient teachers in Jack and your instructor, which is great to hear.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Thank you everyone! Due to the holiday my next lesson has been pushed off a couple days so I have nothing new to report, but I'm determined to keep working on building my confidence in these two areas. I feel like I've overcome one major obstacle and it feels amazing!

I also wanted to share a quick photo of Jack! Isn't he handsome?


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Another lesson today so I thought I'd give a quick update. I'm so happy I was able to ride on the last day of the year, at least 2020 can end on a good note  

Jack was wonderful today as I tacked him up. Sometimes he gets a little stiff in picking up his hind legs (which also adds to my anxiety about cleaning them), but he picked them up today like a total champ. I barely had to do anything! I also attempted to put on his bridle by myself...didn't quite make it as my nerves were starting to flare up, but I definitely give it a real effort, and with my instructor's help we were able to do it MUCH faster than last time. I think one of my official goals for 2021 is to be able to put on his bridle without any help whatsoever 

The lesson went really well. It's only by 7th lesson, and 5th time in the saddle, so we spend today really focusing on my form at a walk. I think I'm putting so much focus on keeping my hands low, that I forget about my legs and end up letting my toes drop (or vice versa). I'm trying to drill it into my brain NOT to look at my horse as we're moving, but it's like my subconscious takes over and I don't even realize it until my instructor reminds me to look ahead. I can't help but get frustrated with myself because, in my head I'm aware of all the things I need to be doing with my body, but in practice my movements are all over the place and I don't know why I can't reconcile the two.

Near the end of my lesson, another rider joined us which was quite fun. However, my instructor asked me to take Jack to an adjoining paddock for some water while he worked with the other rider. That was totally fine of course, but when Jack had finished drinking he wanted to return to the main arena. At this point I wanted him to wait until my instructor called us back in, but Jack pulled and resisted. I wouldn't let him back in the arena, and we ended up in small circles as I tried to get him to stop. It only lasted about 30 seconds before we were called back in, but I admit, this small moment is really sticking in my mind because I feel like having my horse stand still for a minute is very basic and I shouldn't have had as much trouble as I did. Even in the arena, Jack has a tendency of swaying off course whenever he sees my trainer, and that was certainly something we were working on during the lesson, but I feel like standing is easier than walking and I don't know if I was doing something wrong.

Anyway, aside from that small snafu, I still really enjoyed my lesson. I always feel good after being at the barn and seeing the horses, and next week we'll be back to my usual Tuesday schedule


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## AbbySmith (Nov 15, 2020)

Sounds like you had an amazing day!!
Don't beat yourself up to much for not looking ahead while riding. I have had 12 rides, and I still find myself staring at the horses head. I'll just be walking along, and boom, I zone back into what I'm doing, and I'm like: Oh right, I'm supposed to be looking at the arena, not Duncan's head lol!!
Stopping is not as easy as it sounds! I had lots of problems with stopping last year too! I would tug on the reins, but I would release them before the horse came to a complete stop, so they always thought I just wanted them to slow down, not stop. You'll get it though! You did the right thing getting him to circle, good job!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

YOu will, one day, be ever so glad that you penned all these moments, because you will be so far down the road that you will have forgotten how momentous these growth events are. In hindsight, it will seem laughable that you were terrified to put a bridle on a horse. Or, how hard it waas to keep your mind on so many things to do, AT A WALK. 
But, the truth is, none of this is natural to us. we aren't born to ride. We have to learn it, eacch tiny step at a time. Some go faster, with less fear. others take a different route. You will find that in this family, at HF, we never pooh-pooh even the smallest triumph.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

AbbySmith said:


> Sounds like you had an amazing day!!
> Don't beat yourself up to much for not looking ahead while riding. I have had 12 rides, and I still find myself staring at the horses head. I'll just be walking along, and boom, I zone back into what I'm doing, and I'm like: Oh right, I'm supposed to be looking at the arena, not Duncan's head lol!!
> Stopping is not as easy as it sounds! I had lots of problems with stopping last year too! I would tug on the reins, but I would release them before the horse came to a complete stop, so they always thought I just wanted them to slow down, not stop. You'll get it though! You did the right thing getting him to circle, good job!


Thanks! It's so easy to feel like you're the only one making mistakes and everyone else is doing better than you, so it's a relief to know my errors are common for beginners!

I'm definitely going to ask my trainer more in depth next lesson about keeping Jack at a stand. Because my lesson ran a bit overtime I didn't get a chance to discuss after I'd dismounted and put Jack away.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

tinyliny said:


> YOu will, one day, be ever so glad that you penned all these moments, because you will be so far down the road that you will have forgotten how momentous these growth events are. In hindsight, it will seem laughable that you were terrified to put a bridle on a horse. Or, how hard it waas to keep your mind on so many things to do, AT A WALK.
> But, the truth is, none of this is natural to us. we aren't born to ride. We have to learn it, eacch tiny step at a time. Some go faster, with less fear. others take a different route. You will find that in this family, at HF, we never pooh-pooh even the smallest triumph.


This makes me feel so much better ☺ Riding looks so natural to those with experience, so it's easy to feel like I'm missing something when I can't get it right the first time.

I seriously hope I reach the point where putting on a bridle is easy very very soon 😆


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## AbbySmith (Nov 15, 2020)

PinkPrancer said:


> This makes me feel so much better ☺ Riding looks so natural to those with experience, so it's easy to feel like I'm missing something when I can't get it right the first time.
> 
> I seriously hope I reach the point where putting on a bridle is easy very very soon 😆


You'll get there!! I promise! When I started out riding I thought that I would never be good and I would never learn anything,cause I heard so many stories of people being natural horse people by growing up around horses and learning to ride before they could talk. I was not one of these people. I was never around horses but I still loved them. I didn't get my first lesson till I was 14 years old. I thought that I would never ever be good, I thought that was way too old to learn how to ride. Turns out it's not lol! I did learn how to ride, and while I'm not nearly as good as people that grew up on horses, I have improved tremendously and so will you!! It just takes time.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

This weekend has been an ordeal! I thought it'd be fun to document it 

For Christmas, my husband bought me my first ever pair of western riding boots. My current pair of riding boots are more english in style and over 15 years old (I swear, it's crazy that I'm old enough now that I can say that...) and I've been wanting a pair of proper western boots for awhile now as that's how I ride. 

Unfortunately, the boots were very uncomfortable, so we decided to go out this weekend to trade them in. HOLY MOLY. This might be common knowledge to all of you, but I had NO idea finding comfortable boots was so difficult! The first Boot Barn we visited had rather limited options, and the crazy thing was I couldn't even get my foot into half the boots I tried on! It wasn't that the size was too small, but my foot kept getting stuck halfway in, and when I sized up the boot was obviously much too large and my feet were sliding around inside. That night, the top of my foot was so achy and sore, I actually thought I'd pulled something!

The next day we visited a much larger Boot Barn, and I literally must have tried on over 50 pairs. ALL of them hurt, especially around the ankles. My husband is an avid boot-wearer and explained that the leather will soften and mold to my feet after time, but the pressure against my ankles was so painful I couldn't even imagined wearing them for a single lesson. Once again, sizing up didn't solve the problem as there was much too much space inside and still the ankles pinched and scraped horribly. 

I lost track of how long we spent there trying on boot after boot, but finally, FINALLY, a pair of Durangos came to my rescue! They're not 100% my personal style, but I don't even care anymore as they were literally the only pair that didn't make me feel like my ankles would start blistering in 5 minutes. However, now my biggest fear is that they are more a 'fashion' boot than an actual riding boot. We tried asking one of the workers her opinion, but she didn't really seem to know. 

We bought them anyway, and as they were (happy surprise for us!) deeply discounted on clearance, we can't return them now anyway. They've definitely grown on me, but I still worry about showing up the barn and looking like a fool by wearing boots obviously not meant for riding. Oof. Maybe my feet just weren't made to wear boots???


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Whoops! Forgot to share a photo of the boots in question!


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## AbbySmith (Nov 15, 2020)

Well they look amazing!!!
Ugh. I really don't want to tell you this, but here goes.
The heel on the boots are a walking heel. Riding heels are flat and much shorter. I'm not sure what exactly the riding heel does differently than the walking heel, but I know they are different. The walking heel is supposed to be more comfortable to walk in. But I have no idea if that's true. I only have my riding heel boots, and I still find them very comfortable.

On that note...
Your boots do look very good though. I think of you took the leather straps around the ankle of, you could ride in them. Of you leave it on, you may scratch the saddle with it, and apply unnecessary pressure while riding.

So basically, the boots aren't too fancy to ride in (as long as you don't mind getting them a little dirty lol) but I'm not sure what the heel is going to do.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Oh yes, I definitely intend to take off the decorative ankle elements, just haven't had a chance yet  I had a hunch you were right though, that the heel is what makes all the difference and I really hope I didn't make too big an error and won't be able to wear them. 

I guess I'm just embarrassed that those at the barn will think I just bought them because they're 'cute' and not actual practical for working in, when the reality is they were the only ones I could walk in without wincing! I'm all for investing in good quality items, but not if it means it gives me serious foot pain. What would even be the point in that? 

I'm guessing this one one of those live-and-learn lessons. Maybe next time we'll need to try to find somewhere outside of Boot Barn!


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## AbbySmith (Nov 15, 2020)

Well now that you know what size you are, you could order a pair online.
Sheplers has some good boots, so does Lammles. You could look them up online and order another pair.

I don't think anyone at your barn will judge you for your boots. Just explain to them that they were the only pair that fit!
My boots are pretty fancy too and no one has judged me!


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## JoBlueQuarter (Jan 20, 2017)

Really, @AbbySmith? Interesting - I didn't know that about the heel. My western riding boots have the same kind of heel. They're really cute @PinkPrancer - a very nice find. And honestly I don't think they're overly fancy; I actually really like the look and you can even wear them as "going out" boots with or without the bands. Durangos a really nice brand too.


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## AbbySmith (Nov 15, 2020)

Yeah I've been told that you shouldn't ride in those types of heels but I have no idea why lol!!! They are also supposed to be more comfortable/easier to walk in,but I also have no idea if that's true cause I've never owned a pair with that heel, I kinda want to try them out though, and see what the difference is.


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## AbbySmith (Nov 15, 2020)

This is what my boots look like. Well, this is what they did look like when I first bought them. They are much more used!!!


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## JoBlueQuarter (Jan 20, 2017)

PinkPrancer said:


> I guess I'm just embarrassed that those at the barn will think I just bought them because they're 'cute' and not actual practical for working in, when the reality is they were the only ones I could walk in without wincing! I'm all for investing in good quality items, but not if it means it gives me serious foot pain. What would even be the point in that?


Honestly I think everyone loves a nice cute boot. I know I do! And yours are still really low-key compared to many I've seen lol. So don't need to worry


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## AbbySmith (Nov 15, 2020)

I am sorry guys! I totally just Led you astray!
I just googled the difference between the two boots, and apparently I got them mixed up! 
The ones @PinkPrancer has are the riding heel and the ones I have are the walking heel! That would make sense why mine were are so comfortable.
I thought this was the way, but then my dad said what I said originally. Turns out he was wrong. Sorry!
I found this really neat article about it:








Riding Heel vs Walking Heel | Review Cowboy Boots Heel


There are many different types of cowboy boots: Riding boots, Stockman, Roper, Western boots,… Each type of boots has its own characteristics that are loved by many people. One of those features is…




www.fromtheguestroom.com


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## JoBlueQuarter (Jan 20, 2017)

Oh ok; that makes sense. Easy to get this stuff confused.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

I'm back and thought I'd pop in for a quick update on how everything is going 

Hubby and I were on vacation last week to celebrate our 5 year anniversary, so no lessons for me. But, we did go on a trail ride together which I was pretty excited about. We were in a fairly large group of about 9 people and 2 instructors, and aside from myself and husband, no one there really had any experience on a horse before. I've done a few trail rides before, so I didn't think much of it since these things are usually pretty low-key. 

Unfortunately, about halfway through the ride, the gentleman in front of me started slipping off his horse (the entire saddle was sliding down the horses side). When the instructor noticed and called to him to wriggle himself upright, he proceeded to yank on his horses reins in attempt to pull himself up. Naturally, his horse reacted as you might expect, and as he was in front of me, he quickly started to back up right into me which caused my horse to panic. Ultimately, the gentleman fell off his horse, his horse went running and mine tried to take off after it. I was in a panic, but I tried my best to remain calm and circle my horse away from the other one. It all happened incredibly fast, but I AM proud in that I didn't fall off and I was able to walk my horse back into line. The gentleman who fell, from what we saw, was able to walk home at the end of the trip with his family.

Honestly, the whole thing shook me a bit. It's difficult to look back and know if I reacted on my horse as well as I should have as it's such a blur I don't remember much. All I can remember thinking is not to fall off, and to get my horse away from the one that was running.

Anyway, I resumed my normal lesson on Tuesday, and will go in again today to make up for last week. Tuesday was fine, I was happy to see Jack again, but I can't help but feel like the whole lesson was littered with a lot of stupid mistakes on my end. I didn't realize his saddle had been used on another, smaller horse, and that's why it looked too snug on him when I tacked him up. Halfway through the lesson, another rider and instructor passed through the arena to practice in another adjoining enclosure, and Jack thought it'd be a good idea to happily follow after them and carry me along for the ride. Then I completely forgot how to post at a walk.

I know none of these things, in hindsight, are that big a deal and all of them were fixed quickly without any sort of drama. But by the end of the lesson, I just felt like I could have done so much better and I'm disappointed in myself. I can only hope I can make up for it today.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

So, I've this really bad habit of looking at horses for sale when I know we're not in any way ready for one. Not only have I only been back to riding for a couple of months, but we're looking to make a really big cross country move this summer, and financially we'd like to be a little more secure. But dang, is it difficult not to browse.

I still have my heart set on a Fjord, and try as I might to explore other breeds, I always come back to those Norwegian beauties. They're few and far between in the US, so new prospects come up very rarely unless it's a filly or colt which I don't think we're equipped to handle. But again, since we really need to focus on other things right now, I really shouldn't be thinking about buying a horse anytime soon anyway. 

So of COURSE I've found a gorgeous new prospect for sale that I can't stop thinking about! A few weeks ago it was a grullo gelding (I think in Montana?) that I was heartbroken over when he sold. And now its a new boy, in Canada of course! Of all places! We're in California right now, but that move I mentioned earlier is taking us to North Carolina, which is soooo much closer to Ontario! 

I can't stop daydreaming about how we'd work it all out, even though reality clearly indicates this is not the horse for me.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

I hope you are able to get a Fjord at some point.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

whisperbaby22 said:


> I hope you are able to get a Fjord at some point.


Aw, thank you 🧡 I really hope so too!

In other news, I put on Jack's bridle without any help yesterday! To be honest, I think it was some kind of fluke 😆 Even though Jack is a very good boy, in the past sometimes he wriggled his head a bit when it came time to put on the bridle. Nothing major, but I was fully prepared to have to try at least a couple times. But no! He simply stood, opened his mouth and practically sucked the bit in, haha! It took less than 10 seconds!

Honestly, I was so excited I wanted to scream (which of course I didn't, can't be scaring the horses 😉), and I have gained SO MUCH confidence from this! I know I need to keep practicing so this wasn't just a one-off thing, but seeing how easy this was and how good Jack was to me has boosted my faith in my own abilities a ton!


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## All About Hope (Nov 10, 2020)

A little late to this journal, but maybe you could try looking at wide-footed boots? Or maybe men's boots? I have a pair of men's boots from boot barn and they're pretty comfortable. I think men's sizes are two sizes bigger because I wear an eleven in women's and my boots are a nine or nine-and-a-half. Men's generally aren't as flashy but they can be. Mine are ugly, just plain leather, and while I've never rode in them they've survived the mud well. 

I think you're boots would look really good without the ankle stuff 

Also happy late anniversary. 

I also used to look at horses for sale before I started taking lessons because I thought I'd never get to ride. Hopefully one day you can get a Fjord!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

So, I did it again. Window shopping for Fjords, and wouldn't you know it, there's a gorgeous TEAM of them for sale! The ultimate goal has always been to ride with my husband, though we were aren't particularly set on what type of horse for him. I'd always thought a Gypsy since they're so beautiful, but that's mostly wishful thinking haha! 

But now here's a team of TWO Fjords, and gosh aren't they just the prettiest little things? Why do I keep doing this to myself! And even worse, my husband is acting all excited about them, as though we could actually afford them right now! 

My biggest concern right now is horse/rider weights, and I've been doing a ton of research on it. I've always known Fjords are on the smaller size, which is a big reason I like them, however due to their stocky build it seemed possible to find one in the 1,000 lb range. Yet these two little Fjords are closer to the 8-900 lbs range. Now, this is just an estimate by their current owner as he has not had them taped or weighed accurately, but I'm willing to go by his guess. And those weights are so much lighter than I'd anticipated. 

So...now I'm feeling lost. I don't feel comfortable listing my weight, but I am 5'4" and a healthy weight. Technically I could ride either of these horses, but adding on a heavy western saddle and we're really cutting it close on 800 lbs. My husband who is 5'6" and about 40 lbs heavier than me would be entirely out of luck. That is, completely subscribing to the 20% rule, and I definitely know that there's a lot more to it than that, but I feel like all those other considerations are way outside my realm of knowledge. True, these are stocky, short-backed little ponies, but I refuse to put any horse in pain just so it can carry around my butt for a couple hours. 

Like I said, the odds of us actually buying these two are slim to none. But it DOES raise the question in my mind of Fjord weights in general and all these extra variables to keep in mind.


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## AbbySmith (Nov 15, 2020)

That's great that you got jakes bridle on!!! Good for you! 👍😊

I love that your still looking at fjords! Having a pair of them would be so much fun! I love that your husband is actually entertaining the idea lol! 
I still find myself scrolling through Kijiji looking for the "perfect" horse, even though I know that by the time I can get one, it'll be sold lol!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Thank you! I wasn't able to practice again last week on his bridle due to the rain (we had an altered lesson instead so he was already tacked up when I arrived), but I'm going to give it another shot today! 

And as expected, our trainer advised that those particular Fjords we found were going to be too small for my husband. I just realized I never mentioned that they were a Fjord/Welsh cross, so I'd sort of suspected it, but it was still disappointing to hear. Oh well. We REALLY should be putting the brakes on horse shopping, so this totally a blessing in disguise haha!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Not much new too report, but I thought I'd at least pop to give another mention on the whole 'bridle' situation 😆 

Last week was a bit of a bust. I wasn't afraid, but Jack wasn't having it and kept pulling his head away from me. I didn't ask for help as I wanted to continue to try to put it on myself, but one of the other instructors noticed I was having trouble and came over. I'm not a very assertive person, so I was too embarrassed to tell her I wanted to keep trying, so she held his head still for me so I could finish. But she did tell me that I do need to be a little more forceful, otherwise he'll keep playing games and that I'm not going to hurt him by pulling his head toward me. 

So I really kept that in mind yesterday, because I do know I have a tendency of freaking out that I'm going to hurt Jack by being too rough with him. I was determined to do this again by myself, I won't get anywhere if I only succeed one time! So when Jack started pulling his head away, I was quick and yanked him back to me, and I think he got the idea. Funny though, I got the bit up to his teeth, and he wouldn't open up. My trainer had showed me how to use my fingers to sort of massage his gums to encourage him to open his mouth to let the bit slip in, but I always struggle with that since I don't feel like my hand is big enough and if I move too much the whole bit will fall away. But I tried it anyway, and Jack and I probably stood there a good 30 seconds with that dang bit just pressed against his teeth and him just staring at me like a complete battle of wills haha! But eventually he did open up and I got his bridle on  Woo! 

I'll probably start keeping track of my bridle escapades in my physical journal as well since I know it's not the most interesting thing to read about. But overall, I was happy with my progress. My trainer also gave me a few horse magazines and a draft horse calendar which also really made me excited!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Had an odd dream last night that my husband and I bought two horses at auction. The first, a big, bay mare named Lady, and the second, a skinny paint mare named Althea. We boarded them at my trainer's ranch, but I needed to go over twice a day to feed them and for some reason time kept getting away from me and I was so panicked they weren't getting anything to eat! Very stressful dream 😆


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

I think, perhaps, it may be time to ask my husband to block all horse sales website on my laptop. I can't seem to stop myself from searching, and I've now found the perfect pony (not a Fjord, but still) that I've naturally fallen head over heels for. And he's in Ohio. OHIO!!!!!! I should mentioned, we're still in California....so not exactly even in the realm of possibility. I literally couldn't sleep last night, I was distracted thinking about him and how amazing he would be. Ugh. I need to stop doing this to myself.


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## AbbySmith (Nov 15, 2020)

Oh my gosh I'm doing the same thing! I was sitting here on Kijiji and I found the perfect little guy! He was a QH started on the barrel pattern, barefoot, beginner friendly, good on trails, but he was like 4 times over my budget lol! I only stopped looking at them cause I really do need to get some homework done lol!
Don't worry! You'll get your dream horse one day! Just keep going after them! One day you will get your perfect little Fjord (or two...), and you will live happily ever after. "A life without dreams, is just a life"


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Since my horrible lesson last weekend, I've been somewhat avoiding my journal (and sort of the forums altogether). But I'm incredibly grateful for the supportive and kind responses I got on my thread about recovering from a bad lesson, and that keeps bringing me back since I truly do love the community here and reading about horses in general. 

Still...I feel like I'm super hot and cold about horses in general right now. I flip-flop constantly, and I've told my husband on more than one occasion in the past week that we absolutely can not handle the commitment (financial and time) that a horse requires and we really need to put the idea of out our minds. I've completely immersed myself in research about what exactly a horse requires for daily care, and I feel like I have a million questions I desperately want to post on the forums, but I'm afraid of coming off as obnoxious and needy, especially since we're not even ready for a horse yet.

But I'm the type of person that likes to prepare a LOT (as I'm sure many here can relate!), and even though reality doesn't always match up to our plans, it helps alleviate a lot of my anxiety and worries if I can at least come up with some sort of game plan about how I'd like to go about things. Right now, my current obsession is feeding schedules, and I've read so many articles and watched so many videos, but none of them seem to quite answer my very particular question and it's driving me up the wall. 

I don't know. My husband thinks I'm still just down about my last lesson, and that after we move and I've got the whole spring/summer of lessons under my belt I'll be feeling more positive about the whole thing. He's also bought up the prospect about leasing a horse first, which I know is commonly offered advise for first-time owners, but I admit that for some reason I really can't seem to get myself remotely excited about that option. It makes me feel like I'm still not serious enough for this if I'm not open to leasing first, and I'm just setting myself up for complete failure.

Anyway, despite this entry, I don't want to my horse journey to be loaded with negative feelings. But I'm certainly struggling right now with what is genuinely the best options for me going forward.


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Keep posting, and keep asking!

I started my journal here back in 2014. I had owned a horse for a little while by then, but I started the journal after the second or third time I had ever ridden my horse on a trail, and I really, really wanted to get out of the arena and on the trails more. At the time, it seemed like sort of an impossible dream and I was keeping track of what happened in the journal. I didn't really expect anyone but me to read it, but some people did, and they were very helpful with their advice, which gave me confidence to keep trying. There were also suggestions that helped me get to know my horse better, in ways I didn't even know I needed to. Even though I was technically her owner, I saw her just a few hours a week because she was boarded, and didn't make very many decisions about her care or day-to-day routine because all that was handled by the barn. I rode in one lesson a week and maybe a couple of hours independently outside of lessons. 

Fast forward to today, I have three horses at home, only ride on the trails...The original horse is now retired, but retired here with me. I can't tell you how much learning has happened in between those early days and now. This forum has become a huge part of that learning. I've vented about bad or scary rides, felt sad about health or other challenges, asked for suggestions and advice, learned how I do or don't want to do things by reading other people's experiences. I don't have a very big in-person horse community, but there are many people I've "met" here that feel like real friends, even though we haven't met in person. And also a handful of people I met on here and ended up getting together with in real life too. As an online community, it has its ups and downs for sure, but I have never seen anyone get annoyed with someone asking questions, sharing their experience, and trying to learn. So- keep posting!!


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

PinkPrancer said:


> I've read so many articles and watched so many videos, but none of them seem to quite answer my very particular question and it's driving me up the wall.


So . . . you have us on pins and needles. What is your very particular question? Of course we will try to answer it. We WANT to answer it.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

@egrogan Thank you! I hope my post didn't sound super Woe Is I 😆 And I know I'm not the most super active on these forums so I can't expect people to know me or be too invested in my riding journey, but it does feel really nice to read responses to my journals and know I have support. So thank you, so much, for helping me feel like I still have a place here. I'm so inspired by your journey since my husband and I always say we'd board first, and then bring the horses home once we could handle two of them, but right now it just sounds so impossible and far away! It's nice to hear how it worked out for you (trail riding together is also our goal) and that maybe someday, despite how I'm currently feeling, this could also happen for us.

@knightrider haha, sorry about that! I'm sure it's probably easiest, most obvious answer in the world that for some reason I can't seem to figure out. But I'll post it in the general forum on the off chance it might be able to help someone else wondering the same thing. Thanks for the encouragement


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## MeditativeRider (Feb 5, 2019)

Its ok to feel not 100% totally into it all the time. When you are one paying for it, and you have other things you have to pay for too, and you are an adult with limited time, you are not going to feel joyous about it the whole time. Particularly when it is such a conflict between a) I would like to have a life with horses in it and b) I don't have the excesses of $ or time to enjoy this hobby without feeling some guilt about other commitments. I have the same conflicts too.

I have "just" been a lesson rider for the past 4 years. Mostly "just" a once-a-week lesson rider. I do some trail rides on the side, and in the past two years also started volunteering doing some ground work. I go through phases where I feel less than enamored with the whole thing, and I frankly have enjoyed my breaks sometimes (e.g., a 7 month break with Covid and then being unable to afford lessons on top of vet treatment for our dog). One day, yes I would like to lease, and if I can ever afford it, own, but till then, I think its perfectly fine to keep on going as I am (i.e., a rather non-committed and a sometimes not that interested rider). It does not make the days I do love it have any less meaning.

I always try tell myself (and my kids) that the aim in life is not to be happy and love/enjoy everything all the time. Many times life is going to be a bit blah, or you will feel indifferent, or even downright angry or unhappy. But negative feelings have their place, just don't let them run your life. Accept them (they are there) and commit to moving on and finding a way forward. One day you will get the positive feelings again and they will feel all the more amazing for having got through the negative. I think if we felt happy/positive all the time, that it would start to lose meaning.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Good news! Today's lesson went super well!

My husband surprised me by showing up to watch me to ride! This is the first time he's been able to sneak away from work on his lunch break to stop by the barn, so I was REALLY excited. My lesson horse was being used by another rider, which doesn't typically happen, so unfortunately I wasn't able to show off my amazing tacking up skills, but I didn't want to let that bring me down. 

Today we practiced mounting on the right side (hoo boy! that threw me for a loop!) and riding with a crop in hand. I didn't actually use it (thank GOODNESS), but it certainly added a new element for me to have to focus on. For the most part I practiced trotting and directing through figure eights, so a bit of basics which I was plenty happy to return to after last week. But I really love trotting, and I was just so happy to have my husband there, so no complaints from me!


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Having the internet to help with horses can be a real help, but I find that it also seems to make things more complicated and overwhelming than they need to be. Us older riders are amazed at all the "stuff" going on right now, some of it good, but for you as a new horse enthusiast, just to much. 

Keeping horses is easy if you just do your best to keep things as nature deems best. Yes, I keep a horse in So Cal with no pasture, that's for the very wealthy out here. I would like to help out with your interest in automatic feeders, here on your journal. There are many different ways you can go according to your needs.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

@whisperbaby22 I would absolutely appreciate any insight you have to share! You might be right, sometimes when I get to researching everything I need to prepare for a horse I get so utterly overwhelmed it feels like trying to care for this animal is downright impossible. Like there's a million things I need to know and that I'll get wrong. 

I'm interested in anything you're willing to share about auto feeders. Did you build your own? Or are there feeders on the market you prefer? Does it work for more than one horse or do they each need one of their own? 

I wish I could give specifics about my situation, but the truth is I don't know how things will eventually turn out. We'll be moving out to North Carolina, but we likely won't have more than a couple of acres at the most which won't be enough for any sort of pasture. We don't plan on more than two horses (famous last words?)

Thank you in advance for anything you have to share. I'm still very nervous about figuring out a feeding schedule and I appreciate any insight for other options!


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Yes I have a discussion I'd like to have with you, I'll get my thought in order because at this point we need to discuss when an auto might be needed or if you need to go another way. There is plenty of info on the internet on autos, at this point I think you need to take a breath. Keeping horses is a learning curve, but it does become easy and the benefits of having your own horse on your own property is something that will lift the heart.


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

When I was a pre-teen, we lived on an acre and a third in Maryland. We built a stall for my horse behind the garage and fenced in the property. My horse was quite happy on that pasture. I know that not all horses can be solo, and perhaps he would have preferred a companion, but having my own horse was my fondest dream and I did everything with him. It worked out quite well. We did have enough rain in Maryland to maintain my pasture, plus in the summers when I turned 14, I took him with me to work at a riding camp, so the pasture got a break.

As an adult, I moved to Bowie, Maryland where again I had an acre and a third. I was older and smarter, and built sacrifice pens for the horse(s). Notice how you tend to get more of them? We fertilized and spread lime regularly and kept the horses off the pasture when needed, but we always had decent pasture. I made sure of not letting them overgraze the pasture.

You don't need acres and acres of land. It's nice, of course, but we can't all be rich enough to do that. You will need more hay than if you had acres of pasture. One and a third acres of fence is a LOT easier to maintain than 40 acres of fence. When my father died, my mother could no longer maintain the family farm, and my family took over the 40 acres. That was nice and fun, but a LOT of work. When we retired, we bought 10 acres, which seemed about right for dealing with the maintenance.

Please don't think you have to know everything and have everything to have fun with your horse.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

First of all you must think of the horse a a trickle feeder, a small amount trickling through all the time. We'll use 20 lbs of feed to make it easy. 

If you feed 2x a day 10 lbs. every 12 hours and there is still a small amount left over, this is working. If it's not, you can try 1/3 every 8 hours, or 5 lbs. every 6 hours. If that does not work you may try different feed, switch out some alfalfa for bermuda, something less tasty and that may work. 

Feeding more than 4 times a day can be hard to do, so the next step may be to try slow feeders. The idea of slow feeders is good, the delivery can be a problem.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

There are exceptions, but generally you want a slow feeder that sits on the ground. Horses evolved to eat this way. The feeder should be stable, I don't like anything that hangs or swings around. Think of the way a horse grazes and that is what your want the head to do, not twisting or jerking around. 

If you have even a small pasture and at least 2 horses with several nets this can really work. Horses tend to move around in this situation, you want to avoid your horse standing in front of a slow feeder and not moving for hours.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

If the slow feeder is not working the horse will be putting a lot of pressure and using his teeth to get the hay. This may cause tooth damage, neck damage and ulcers due to the horse constantly frustrated while trying to eat. Horses take food seriously, and a aggressive eater will not like a slow feeder. Many people go down the slow feeder rabbit hole at this point and try different styles. There is a reason that there are so many manufacturers out there saying that they have a slow feeder that works - people are trying to find one that works.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

At this point the horse should be taken off slow feeders and put on an automatic. The advantage is that my horse is fed 10 times a day. My horse is not frustrated by having restricted access, and is able to pick out the best parts and then munch on the rest, something that most horses like to do, then he moves around til the next drop. If you ever have a horse that cannot eat hay, for example some old horses get to that point, you can use an automatic to feed soaked cubes like the one I have pictured here. 

If you ever need to medicate a horse at midnight and you can just stick the medication in a fig newton, you just put it in the midnight drop. If you need to have someone take care of your horse for a while I just ask when it would be convenient for them to stop by, and program the feeder around their schedule. Nothing can ruin a vacation more than worrying about when your horse is being fed. 

So the horse will let you know what you need to do. And horses needs change all the time. What works now will probably change with the years. 

So when you get your horse please feel free to ask about all this.


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

COWBOY BOOT HEEL STYLES (AND WHY ALVIES BOOTS HAVE COWBOY HEELS)


Similar to cowboy boot toe styles, cowboy boot heels can trip you up (both literally and figuratively). There’s not quite as much difference in opinion on what the various heel styles should be called, but some companies use different terms for the same heel. And while cowboy boot heels are...




www.alvies.com






AbbySmith said:


> Well they look amazing!!!
> Ugh. I really don't want to tell you this, but here goes.
> The heel on the boots are a walking heel. Riding heels are flat and much shorter. I'm not sure what exactly the riding heel does differently than the walking heel, but I know they are different. The walking heel is supposed to be more comfortable to walk in. But I have no idea if that's true. I only have my riding heel boots, and I still find them very comfortable.


Came across your journal this morning. Still reading through but thought I'd add this here. Love the boots (minus the bling) by the way. I don't know that I'd find them comfortable but as long as you do that's what counts. The blog not only gives pictures but reasons behind the types. Makes a good read.


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

Like @QtrBel I also just saw your journal. I started it, but I think I have to saddle and move bulls here shortly. It may take me a while to ever catch up.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Oh wow, I completely forgot about my journal! Thank you for reminding me about it  This will be a great place to post when my anxiety starts building up so I don't end up clogging the forums with a million posts of 'What if I can't do this!?!'

Thank you both for reading and commenting! It's such a comfort to know I'm not alone in this brand-new horsey adventure. My husband insists we CAN do this, that everyone at the barn has been so kind and eager to help, but I tend to be more of a pessimist/cautious and fearful of new things. I'm trying to change my mindset and usually during the day it's a lot easier, but at night all the thousands of worries come pouring in and I start to doubt everything. Does anyone else get that way?

Anyway, it's scheduled to rain the next few days, which now suddenly look a lot different now that I've got a horse out in a paddock! Apparently he doesn't mind it, but it's so hard not to human-ify him and feel sad that he gets all drippy since he won't get inside his shelter


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

Just put on a pair of big girl panties and don't take no sass.... you'll do just fine. We're all happy to answer.


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## MeditativeRider (Feb 5, 2019)

PinkPrancer said:


> I'm trying to change my mindset and usually during the day it's a lot easier, but at night all the thousands of worries come pouring in and I start to doubt everything. Does anyone else get that way?


Yes, I would say most people feel worries and doubt. I have one child who is an anxious worrier and I try to focus to telling her that worries are normal, even the most confident-looking people worry, and to never let her worries stop her from pursing her life. I like the idea from acceptance and commitment therapy that you should not try change how you think, but to accept that those feelings are there and it is ok to have those thoughts, but don't let them take over and stop you doing stuff.

So at night time, I would just accept and acknowledge your worries, and then get up in the morning and forget about them because they have been accepted/acknowledged and that is the most they need.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

I went to the barn early today since the farrier was out and I wanted to meet him. No lie, I was up all night with my stomach in knots over it because I didn't know what to expect. I'm not yet very confident in leading our boy, and I was (still am) terrified of the thought of having to hold him for the entire session.

Thankfully, my husband slipped out of work to come meet me and help. Turns out, the farrier is fine doing his feet in the paddock, but my husband offered to walk him over instead. Big mistake, at least for me anyway. 

I had wrongfully hoped that because it was early morning, the barn would be fairly quiet. NOPE. Turns out we got there right at the time a bunch of kids are dropped off for a group lesson, and even though they were being quiet and respectful (no blame on them), it certainly wound up my horse every time he saw one walking by. It also turns out that we were right next to the manure pile, and so wheelbarrows and golfcarts were being driven by and dumped, which made him even MORE anxious. Finally, when all the kids started leading their horses out for their lesson, it was pretty much the last straw. He got super snorty, clomping around and kicked out twice. 

Thankfully no one got hurt, and this didn't faze the farrier one bit, but my heart was pounding. I know that literally ANY horse can kick, but it's still so gut-wrenching to see him do it. The farrier said this was totally normal behavior for a 3-year-old who is still getting used to having his feet handled for long periods of time and was surrounded by a lot of spooky/interesting things. Apparently he was a lot calmer the last time he got his feet done, so I'm sure all of the different elements played into it.

Anyway, I guess the silver lining is that the farrier said his feet looked really good, and we can keep him on an 8-week interval. I do worry that might be too long, but he reassured me that if he saw something that needed to be addressed, he'd let me know and we can increase his visits. 

I guess I just feel like my already low confidence just took another nose-dive after seeing those kicks. I know I have limited experience with him, but he tends to be pretty chill, so seeing him so huffy was startling. Even though I've had him less than a week at this point, it's so hard not to hold up this expectation that I need to know how to do everything already and be completely fearless (when I'm a naturally timid person). His trainer returns from vacation next week and we're moving him up to 3 sessions a week, and I'm going to try my best to be there to learn alongside him. Hoping that helps steer us in the direction we need to be.


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

I’m sure that once you work with the trainer your confidence will improve. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself right now, it seems to be adding to your worry!

Remember the joy of all of this!! One thing I can tell you, after a year you will be in a whole new place with him. I even have to remind myself of that with new two year olds. It seems everything is hard, and there are days I dread work, and after a year I have a whole new relationship with a horse. You will be okay!


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

Just for positive motivation… Zeus’s first year:




Them at his fourth year:


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

Every horse is an individual. Every horse. Drafts included. Most of the worst injuries I have seen are to those that underestimated and failed to understand that "draft" does not equal gentle though giant is apt. Slow or ponderous which can give one time to move sure but as with all horses there are all personalities. They do seem to take their time more so than react but I've had a few that were faster than a snake striking. When they do react their reactions are as big as they are if not bigger. Personally I'd suggest you find someone with drafts and get used to handling, riding and even driving that size with something that has btdt and is safer than an unknown. I don't say that to be mean but unless you are well grounded and confident in handling any horse this will potentially rob you of any confidence. It's not the way to start what you intend to become a lifelong partnership. Also realize he will reflect and feed off of you. His environment has changed, his handlers have changed, his owner has changed. 

There are multiple horses I've known that have been sold on, retired or put down all because of a mismatch in ownership or handler. You're in love and seeing him through rose colored glasses. Take the glasses off. See him for what he is (which is yet to be determined and as this is not irl we can't make fair judgement) and work on being what you need to be to be his best person. That may well mean you learning on another horse from the ground up. It may also mean not just any horse but some type of draft or draft cross. 

One horse that comes to mind is an animal that needed a job and consistent work. The owner recognized that having someone else ride would be of benefit. The rider chosen turned him into a reactive mess. To the point no one was riding him, no one was allowed to handle him, he was subjected to blood work to determine his gelding status. He was an older horse, not young. The results were normal. What it boiled down to was the rider/handler was scared, didn't exude confidence and the horse fed off of that until he became unsafe to be around. My child who has handled and ridden drafts all his life was asked to ride him. He settled down quickly. He's not spooking at every little thing. He's not running people over. He's adopted a very chill, laid back attitude that mirrors my child's. You don't need a lifetime of handling drafts but you do need experience with a safe horse of that size that is unlikely to feed off of your nerves. That will build your confidence.


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## Luna’s rider (Jan 23, 2021)

Your personality (and riding journey and style) sound very similar to mine. You got your dream horse - but it’s not going to be a dream all the time. As every horse, he will have his moments. You’ll get to know him and maybe hopefully prevent escalation over time. Just accept that there will be challenges (he’s super young after all!) but you have the help you need to tackle them. Don’t get fixated on those kicks now. I think I know how you feel after I watched the most basic mount we have (older mare, used for absolute beginners and very, very reluctant to move at all) kick up a storm and go into a bucking fit recently. It served as a good reminder that they are not biological motorbikes ;-)


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

I thought now might be a good time to give a little update on how we're doing 

Last week was a big week for my boy since he got his boosters done on Monday (including the Strangles vaccine, which huge surprise to me, goes up his nose!), as well as his teeth floated for the first time on Wednesday. The vet and her assistant were amazing, they worked with him so gently and he did great. Of course he wasn't the biggest fan of the needles once he understood what they did, and he did try to shimmy away a bit, but he didn't explode or bolt or anything crazy, and the vet told me he did very well for such a young horse. 

Watching his teeth get done was another crazy experience. Fortunately they did tell me he doesn't have any wolf teeth (and even showed me how one of his baby teeth is wiggly and close to falling out!), and overall he handled it like a champ. Of course, he was sedated, and watching him lumber back to his paddock was certainly a sight!

I also wanted to mention that the girl whose been training him gave him a trial with one of her saddles. She's not going to work on breaking him, it was just a desensitizing session. But he did SO good! He's already been really desensitized to the saddle pad to the point where she can throw it on him and let it plop on his back without him blinking an eye. He was interested in the saddle, but not spooked by it, and had zero problems when she put it on him. Same as when he started walking around with it, a little interested in the stirrups, but no sign of fear or distress. 

She then tied up the cinch, NOT tight at all since it definitely wasn't the right sized saddle for him, just enough so it wouldn't slip down. Once again, he didn't seem to care, only when she tightened it a little did he put his head back and lip at her, but that was it. From there, he walked with it on without any fuss, and transitioned into a trot very easily. He acted like he didn't have any care about it in the world, and the trainer wondered if his previous owner had saddled him before (she said she hadn't, but who knows) since he was acting so entirely unphased by the whole thing.

Of course, about 15 seconds later he threw an absolute temper tantrum out of nowhere. He didn't roll, but he did start jumping, snorting and making an overall fuss. To be honest, I thought something had spooked him since I know there's a lawn mower over on that side of the yard that sometimes gets his attention, but once he calmed down my trainer said that he was reacting due to the saddle and she was surprised he didn't do it earlier when he first began trotting (she said many young horses get fussy at the trot because they expect the saddle to fall off and then get riled up when it doesn't). Overall his fit lasted maybe 30 seconds, and she let him work through it until he calmed himself down. She then approached him, fixed his saddle (it had slipped up a little) and he then went right back into a trot, as if nothing had even happened. 

Overall, I'm incredibly proud with how he handled everything this week. I feel like it was a lot to toss at him all at once, but he took it all in stride and I'm just so happy with him


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

I'm getting so so so worried and it's becoming increasingly hard not to panic. 

A week ago my boy got dewormed, and since then he's been producing cow patties. We contacted the vet about it a few days later and she said to put him on probiotics for 10-14 days and then update her on his progress. We bought the probiotic powder and have been mixing it with Timothy pellets, water and a tiny bit of unsweetened applesauce. We've been monitoring his dropping to see if there's any change or improvement, but today I watched him all but pee out his waste, nearly pure liquid.

I'm SO worried we did something wrong and he's getting worse. I contacted the vet to ask her advice, but she didn't answer and I left a message. I know she's very busy so I can't blow up her phone, but I'm too scared to leave him in case something happens.

Aside from these issues though, he's been acting the same. Eating the same, drinking ( though I did get him a salt block today so he'll drink more since I'm afraid he'll get dehydrated), same interest in things around him and energy level. I'm trying to take that as a good sign that he's not in pain but who am I to judge???


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I have never seen a horse have anything terribly bad happen from wormer. The worst I’ve seen is mouth ulcers. I also have seen horses with the scours that weren’t effected negatively. Zeus gets the poops if he eats wheat hay, and when that is what we had, that is what he ate.

I hope the vet gets back to you soon, and that whatever is going on stops. I think it likely will turn out to not be a very big problem.


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## MeditativeRider (Feb 5, 2019)

I am sorry you are feeling stressed. Is there anyone experienced at your barn that you can talk to?

Like @Knave I have also seen horses with watery poop. Sometimes it just happens with change in what they are eating.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Thank you both ❤ 

The vet called me back and since he's not showing any other signs of illness or distress and is otherwise acting normal, she wants to hold off on any sort of testing. She recommended I get him some psyllium and start adding that to his diet for the next week to see if that helps start regulating things. So I just went and picked that up and I'll be giving it to him tomorrow. She also said maybe not to leave the salt lick in with him if he goes whole hog on it, so I've removed it for now. I'm still worried about him getting dehydrated since his urine is starting to look more yellow than it used to, but I DO see him drinking while I'm there, so I trust her advice. 

On my way to my car I was able to chat with his trainer for a little bit and ask her how his energy levels were yesterday when she worked with him. She said he was great, even ran around a bit on his own (which is unusual for him since he's typically pretty lazy), and when I mentioned he was having some digestive issues she was able to confirm that the hay supply HAS been changed and a few of the horses in the barn are having the same runny poop as he is. She likewise suggested psyllium and probiotics to help sort him out, so I'm praying he'll come around soon.

It's so hard not to panic when I try to research and encounter so many horror stories of horses colicking from one day to the next, even without any signs of illness. I feel like a bad owner for not realizing he probably needed these supplements earlier, and I'm so afraid something is going to happen to him overnight while I'm not there. I know ya'll are probably right that it's just a result of feed change and he'll adjust, but it's in my nature to worry and I'm still working on getting a handle on it.


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## Luna’s rider (Jan 23, 2021)

PinkPrancer said:


> Thank you both ❤
> 
> The vet called me back and since he's not showing any other signs of illness or distress and is otherwise acting normal, she wants to hold off on any sort of testing. She recommended I get him some psyllium and start adding that to his diet for the next week to see if that helps start regulating things. So I just went and picked that up and I'll be giving it to him tomorrow. She also said maybe not to leave the salt lick in with him if he goes whole hog on it, so I've removed it for now. I'm still worried about him getting dehydrated since his urine is starting to look more yellow than it used to, but I DO see him drinking while I'm there, so I trust her advice.
> 
> ...


You’re doing a great job! Noticing, researching, asking for advice. He couldn’t be in better hands. You’ll make some mistakes I guess, as a first time owner, and you will always have this crushing sense of responsibility to care for your (what name did you choose in the end?) but you’re gaining experience, you have people around you who can help and everything will be fine!


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## MeditativeRider (Feb 5, 2019)

Glad you got to talk to the vet and trainer about it.

Hope all is well in the morning.

Don't feel bad about worrying, it is natural. I do not own a horse yet but kids and a dog are bad enough. I imagine a horse would be so much more worrying. It is pretty typical that as I go to fall asleep I have a period of worrying about all the ways that my kids could have died with the activities we did for the day. Like if we go for a hike with a steep bit, then that night I will be all "but what if they had slipped and fallen down a cliff?!". I just try to accept worry as normal. It is just your brain trying to keep you/your loved ones safe. But it does not mean that any of that is actually going to happen. So I just acknowledge it and then move on and don't let it stop me from doing things.


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

PinkPrancer said:


> It's so hard not to panic when I try to research and encounter so many horror stories of horses colicking from one day to the next, even without any signs of illness. I feel like a bad owner for not realizing he probably needed these supplements earlier, and I'm so afraid something is going to happen to him overnight while I'm not there.


Welcome to life as a new horse owner.  I remember not long after I got my first two horses Moonshine went lame. I think it was an abscess. She had to be on stall rest for a bit. But I was convinced she would have to be PTS. Because horses that are lame have to be put down, right? I went to the barn every morning to clean out her stall (I hated her being in a dirty stall) and check on her. Oh, and then she stocked up from being in a stall, and then I thought THAT would kill her. I mean, sheesh, it was just a little stocking up.

In retrospect, it was no big deal, and I learned about abscesses. In the years since, I have learned a ton about horse health and horse health care, and I'm a lot more able to relax and some things. You will get there also! You are not a bad horse owner just because you didn't come into this with decades of horse knowledge. You will learn as you go, and you will make mistakes, but hopefully everything will work out alright.

You didn't ask for advice, but I will give it anyways: you are at a boarding barn. Keep your eyes and ears open. If you see a horse that is being treated for something, ask what it is and why they are getting that particular treatment. If a horse seems "off" to you somehow, ask your trainer or the barn owner about it. Ask to be allowed to hover at others' vet appointments. If you see a horse being fed something that is unfamiliar to you, ask what it is and why they are being fed that. One great thing about a boarding barn is that you can get firsthand experience with sick or injured horses without YOUR horse having to be sick or injured. I have learned a lot about health problems, I have watched multiple horses colic, I have asked about other horses. I also watched a lot of other people interact with horses, and it helped me figure out the kind of horse person I wanted to be. Boarding barns are great.

Also I hope you will keep us updated about your horse's health.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Thank you all for posting such supportive comments on his little health scare 

He's been on the psyllium for 5 days now, and 8 days on the probiotics. Unfortunately, I feel like the improvements on his poops have been minimal (though my husband swears it does look better than it did before). However, I'm feeling 99% positive now that this is simply a matter of him disagreeing with the new hay they switched him to. After talking about it with my trainer and a couple other boarders, it seems a number of other horses (mostly in the barn where I don't really visit) are having the same results he is, so I guess it's weirdly comforting to know he's not the only horse effected (though I do feel bad for all of them).

I'll finish up the psyllium over the next couple days, then keep him on the probiotics for the foreseeable future. I don't know if I should bother the vet for other ideas, or if I'm already doing all that I can? Unfortunately the hay was switched out due to the hay shortage in the area, so I doubt I'll have much luck trying to switch his feed again on my own. 

I guess the silver lining is that everything else about him seems to be exactly the same; he's still drinking the same as before, energy levels the same, etc. So I try to remind myself that he doesn't appear to be suffering (though his thick Gypsy tail is a MESS), so that helps calm my nerves some.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

No major updates today, I just wanted to share how cute my boy is!!!! Ah, I love him so much! 😍


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## Luna’s rider (Jan 23, 2021)

PinkPrancer said:


> No major updates today, I just wanted to share how cute my boy is!!!! Ah, I love him so much! 😍
> 
> View attachment 1124505
> View attachment 1124507
> ...


Have you settled on a name yet?


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Luna’s rider said:


> Have you settled on a name yet?


Almost! I just want to be 100% certain before announcing it since I'm a little embarrassed at how many times we've changed it 😅


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Happy (Super Bowl) Sunday!

Since Robert and I aren't very big football fans, we decided to spend the afternoon at the barn instead. We've had a bit of a sudden heat spike here in the Bay Area, so we figured we'd take it easy and mostly hang out. And it started out so well! We took our boy out, gave him a nice brush and then hosed him down to help cool him off a bit. He stood tied SO good (usually he likes to chew the pole, but not so much today), and even though he still doesn't like the water on his back legs/bum, he didn't give any major fuss today. Overall, he was super chill and I was so pleased with him.

But...

BUT.

I am a complete idiot. One of our fellow boarders arrived and we started having a nice conversation. And wouldn't you know it, right in the middle of our talk, I'm suddenly hit with this HUGE wave of dizzyness. I have to stop to go sit in the shade, and the second I start walking my legs start to give out. I'm so glad Robert was there to help hold me because the nausea and light-headedness came on like a freight train. I'm so embarrassed, since all I could do was huddle on the ground as I tried not to pass out. Eventually I was able to walk over to the bleachers in the shade and he brought me an ice pack and water, but...UGH. 

I know I have to be careful in the heat. Over these past couple years for some reason my heat tolerance has absolutely plummeted, and it doesn't take much for it to completely wipe me out. The worst part is I don't even feel it coming on. One minute I'm fine, then it just hits me all at once. I guess my brain is still in "winter mode", but it's full on spring here in California and I need to prepare for that and be extra mindful of my water intake. 

I guess the silver lining in all this is that throughout this whole ordeal, our sweet boy was still tied up at the pole, and while Robert was helping me out and getting me water, he just stood there and watched, as sweet as pie. I was afraid he'd start to get anxious or bored and start pulling if we all moved away from him, but he didn't. Just stood and waited like a gentleman until Robert could go back and return him to his paddock. 

I'm honestly still feeling pretty beat. Even though I'm indoors now and drinking lots of water and gatorade, my energy feels totally zapped. Oh well.


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

I’m sorry @PinkPrancer. Heat gets me too.


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## MeditativeRider (Feb 5, 2019)

Do you have blood pressure that is at the lower end of normal? That can be something that contributes to low tolerance to being hot (either from exercise or hot weather). There are other things that can cause dizziness as well though (like Addison's disease), so if you have not had it checked out medically, I would.

Low blood pressure is an issue in three generations of females in my family so far (not sure about my kids yet but one does have frequent dizzy spells). My grandmother, my mum, myself, and my sister are all the same. We would all get dizziness and nausea with heat (because your blood pressure drops more).

As well as keeping up fluids, one thing I have found that helps is eating salty food. Mine is pretty well managed now because I make sure I eat salty food.


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

PinkPrancer said:


> the nausea and light-headedness came on like a freight train.


This exact thing happened to a friend I was riding with. The same friend who rode with me when we rode past the murdered woman in the monastery. Anyway, the heat situation was also exactly the same. It was a winter day that was unseasonably warm. We were miles down the trail when she suddenly slipped off her horse and collapsed on the ground. Whatever it is that causes your problem must have been exactly what she had. Back in those days there were no cell phones. I had to ride for help, ponying her horse, and leave her waiting under the shade of a tree. I am sorry that happened to you. I felt super bad for my friend that day. It happened so fast. She was just fine--we were talking and riding happily--and then suddenly, she was a pile of jelly.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

@MeditativeRider that's a good question! I actually don't know about my blood pressure, so I'll be sure to check that out the next time I visit the doctor. It's strange, because I actually used to be able to handle the heat quite well, but then over the past couple years it's like my body did a complete 180 and now it completely wipes me out. I'll also look into the salt thing  I find that drinking gatorade really helps me recover, it's just something I have to be purposeful about since I usually stick to plain water. 

@knightrider omg, that sounds so scary! I'm glad you were with her to help get her into a safe situation. I've definitely had the heat hit me after a ride, but thankfully it was AFTER I dismounted and not still in the saddle. One time I led my horse to the water trough, dismounted, and BOOM! it hit me. Down I went. Thankfully my horse did not spook, and stood by me while I recovered, and since he'd been drinking, when he put his nose down to look at me some of the dribbles got on my face, which really helped! Ever since then I've always wondered if there was a way to teach a horse to go to the water trough and get their face all nice and wet if their rider ever collapsed in front of them (like how some dogs are trained to call 911 if their owners pass out or are in trouble).


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

@MeditativeRider my blood pressure is very low. It makes sense what you said. I didn’t know why I always get that ‘I’m going to pass out,’ feeling. I tried looking up if low blood pressure is a problem prior, but all I could ever find was articles about trying to lower blood pressure. I also run at a lower body temperature.


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## MeditativeRider (Feb 5, 2019)

@Knave and @PinkPrancer Generally, having low blood pressure is not an issue for health, it is just inconvenient, but it can be managed (not get too hot, try to keep up blood volume up and electrolytes balanced). Long term, it is better than having high blood pressure because if you start low, when you get increases in blood pressure with age, you just go into the high-normal range. My sister had lots of tests for her low blood pressure because she was having episodes while driving on hot days, which is not safe. They did a tilt table test. She also had blood tests for Addision's. Her blood test results for Addison's were low-normal (so borderline but not Addison's). They decided she had some issue with nervous system control that the name of is evading me right now. I have never been fully tested but my blood pressure is always low at the doctor and drops a lot when I stand up, my daughter (13) is the same, and we have just been told that if hot, our blood pressure will be even lower and that is when we will get issues.


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

Sometimes it has to do with the vagus nerve.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Wow, I'd no idea there could be so many reasons behind it! I think with the warmer weather coming up I'll be doing some more research on it and keeping an eye on if there's any other possible symptoms to look out for. But I admit I'm glad to know its not just me being overdramatic! 

Yesterday Robert and I went and visited our boy in the evening, and we swept up the rubber mats the horses are fed on since they were getting quite dusty/sandy. Unfortunately I wasn't able to visit him again earlier today since I had a job, but we just returned from the barn a short while ago, and it was quite odd since all the horses hadn't been fed their afternoon meal yet. Usually they're fed around 3-4 PM during the week, but it was already 5:30 and no one had any hay. But sometimes things happen, and we figured there was probably just a delay and they'd be fed soon. 

However, on the ride home it occurred to me that all the mats we'd swept yesterday evening were still spotless, which is incredibly strange since there's always little bits of hay leftover from their previous meal. Am I crazy for suddenly getting super paranoid that they haven't been fed all day?? I wish I'd been able to stop by in the morning so I could be sure. We ended up texting the barn owner to check in with her, but she hasn't messaged back yet. We also checked the horses in the stalls on our way out, but it seems none of them had any feed either (except the ones fed privately by their owners), so it's not just the horses out in the paddocks. 

There is a possibility that the lady who boards her horse with ours stopped by and also swept, so maybe that's why it looks so clean, but I know she usually stops by the in the evening as well, so I'm a bit doubtful. Anyway, anxiously waiting to see what the BO texts back and telling myself I'm probably (hopefully) making a mountain out of a molehill as usual.


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

Maybe you should go check and feed. Something could have happened to her!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Okay, so the barn owner responded and promised that the horses were fed at 2:30 today (by her workers, not her personally). And I don't like calling someone a liar, but I just feel like it's not true. Robert insists that BO has no reason to lie and risk the health of all those horses, but we go and visit at this time of day all the time, and I know what it looks like after they've been fed. They make a total mess of it, there's no way it would be ALL gone this quick (not even a few pieces here or there), and a couple of the mares in the paddocks beside him are super slow eaters and always take forever to finish their flakes. But their pens were just as empty. Not only that, but their behavior also indicated that they were all anxiously waiting for the hay truck as well. Pacing around, eagerly coming to the fence when we approached, staring at the spot across the yard where the truck usually comes from...these horses were hungry. 

I don't know. I feel terrible and guilty and I don't know what to do. I am not the sort of person who likes confrontation or feeling like I'm bad-mouthing someone, and it's true that I'm NOT there 24/7, so I have no proof they were or weren't fed. I like to keep my head down and follow the rules and trust in people, and the care we've received at this barn has been absolutely wonderful. The last thing I want to do is be a bad boarder and cause gossip or bad feelings. But I'm supposed to be my horses voice, aren't I? And what about all the other horses?


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## MeditativeRider (Feb 5, 2019)

I would be wondering too if the horses were behaving like that. 

Not sure how to approach it because I don't like confrontation either.


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

I also don’t like confrontation. I can always tell here if the horses have been fed though, for the same kind of reason. So, if my husband gets home late or is busy I feed them for him. I never question it. They whinny if they haven’t been fed, and look to you like that’s what is coming. Also, the hay lasts until morning time.


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## MeditativeRider (Feb 5, 2019)

I guess the way I would approach it would be to ask a question that placed it all on me. Something like "do you think I need to be feeding him more if I turn up at 5.30 and he is acting hungry?".

If they are fed at 2.30, are they not fed again till the next morning or do they get an evening feed as well? Because that seems a really long time.


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

Ditto not liking confrontation. At this point, I would be keeping my eyes open but my mouth shut, until I had more evidence one way or another. It's very possible she told someone to feed them, and they told her they did, but they didn't. Or maybe they just didn't feed enough. One such occurrence is unfortunate but I'd let it go. But I'd be watching.

That's just me.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

So we ended up returning to the barn last night. To make a (super) long story short, I was able to confirm that the horses WERE fed at 2:30, BUT the cause for their behavior was most likely because they were fed "light". This is the first I've heard of this happening, since as I've said we tend to visit that time of evening quite often and never encountered it before, but the other boarders did not seem concerned. 

I do agree that 2:30 for their last meal of the day seems like a long stretch to go without hay, but they are fed again at about 5 AM, and typically the amount they are fed lasts them quite a lot longer than a couple of hours. I'm going to take this as a one-off, and like you guys said, keep an eye out if this continues and see if I need to feed extra on my own (which will be difficult since his paddock-mate will definitely take it from him). I really do genuinely like the care he receives at this barn, the paddocks are always clean, the people are SO nice and helpful, it's close to home, the arena and overall grounds are tended to and safe, etc. And since we're leaving in a couple short months I don't feel like it's worth it to try to relocate at this time. 

Thanks for helping me get through my little tizzy  you guys are the best!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

To bring some happier news, I wanted to officially share my horse's name!! I thought I'd wait longer, but since we've been calling him this for a few weeks now, I figured it's time. Say hello to Florian!!!!









Florian is the name of the prince in Snow White, which we love because we're HUGE Disney fans! And it suits him so well, very sweet and kind and charming, just like he is. It sounds so classic and princely and it makes me smile every time I say it. Not to mention, I think he likes it too 🥰

I also wanted to show off his adorable new mask!!! 

















I had to order online since our local stores didn't have anything in his size and I think he looks sooooo cute!!! His eyes were getting really goopy from all the flies that came out this past heat wave, plus his forelock was so long and irritating him too. But now he's braided and all masked up and the goopies are gone! Since he's scared of the fly spray I was nervous he'd be scared of the mask too, but he put it on without any problems ( actually tried to eat it when I showed it to him) and didn't even flinch at the Velcro either.

Anyway, I hope Florian can make ya'll smile today ☺💕🐴


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

A beautiful name for a beautiful horse!


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

Florian was a book by Felix Salten, also the author of Bambi. So, besides the handsome and charming prince, your lovely mount is named after a beautiful and talented fictional stallion.

Florian: The Emperor's Stallion - Wikipedia


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

@ACinATX thank you!!! 🥰

@knightrider OMG I had no idea! I LOVE that!! 😍 I will absolutely have to go find me a copy ASAP!


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

PinkPrancer said:


> @knightrider OMG I had no idea! I LOVE that!! 😍 I will absolutely have to go find me a copy ASAP!


Just as a heads up, I have never read the original Bambi, but I just read an article about the author and his works. Apparently a lot of them are quite distressing to the modern reader. At least from the article, it seemed like there was a lot of violent death. I don't know if this book is like that, but just a heads up.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Omg, Florian's eating his paddock buddy's tail!! 😓 we discovered it a few weeks ago, but the part he chewed off was relatively minor, though I still felt bad. Since then I've been keeping an eye on it, and it didn't seem like there was any more damage so I'd hoped that was just a one time issue. But today when I went out to visit him, I checked and his buddy's tail looks almost half chewed off!! 








( heart to cover a brand mark for privacy)

I feel SO awful!!! I've been told it's likely just because he's young and possibly bored ( he does have a jolly ball but never seems very interested in it ), and I really hope he'll grow out of it. But how do make it up to the owner of the other horse?? I know there's not much to do in terms of helping the tail grow back, but this feels like my responsibility to make it right.


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

It always sucks when someone gets their tail eaten off, but it also happens. There is nothing to do about it in hindsight. She can get mad, but that’s life with horses. She probably should put something in his tail to discourage further chewing. We use just a tiny bit of diesel.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Thankfully his owner is incredibly sweet, and the first time it happened she said that's simply the risk of horses sharing a paddock together. I've yet to see her since I noticed the extra damage, but hopefully I will soon so I can apologize in person. I hadn't thought about putting something on the tail to help ward him off, but I'll bring it up to her and see what she says.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Ahhh! I swear, every year I prepare myself for Daylight Savings, and every year it STILL surprises me the next morning! Oh well  

This has been a big week for Florian, and I wanted to write it all down before I forget. His bit and headstall came in on Monday, so on Tuesday my trainer decided to introduce him to it. We started slow, not sure how he'd react, but he seemed entirely unphased when we showed it to him and let him sniff at it. He's naturally a little mouthy, so he played with it with his lips for a little bit, but wasn't nervous or stressed, only curious. Then, when she fully lifted it to his mouth, he practically took it his all by himself! Admittedly, this is probably because he just loves sticking anything new in his mouth, but he did not resist as she finished buckling the headstall on all the way. The headstall I bought him comes with a browband, so I've been petting his ears the last few weeks, and fortunately he doesn't seem phased to have them handled at all. 

I wasn't sure how he'd handle the bridle once he realized it wouldn't come off. Even though he took to the saddle incredibly well, there was still one time where he threw a fit and tried to get it off, so was that going to happen again? We moved him to the side of the roundpen to give him some space to figure it out, but he remained completely fixated on the bit, chewing and chewing and chewing. I'd been so nervous the bit I got him was too small (6 inches), but it fits him perfectly and doesn't pinch his lips at all. 

When we started moving his feet, he seemed to have an easier time actually carrying the bit and he stopped chewing it. We kept it very light, walking and trotting and transition. He seemed to forget how to transition properly, probably because he was so focused on the bit, so we practiced it a couple times until he got one right. But through it all, he didn't panic about the bridle at all. No wild head tossing or anything, just the constant chewing. When it came time to take it off, he slipped it off without any trouble, and he still seemed very curious about it even then.

The next couple days we wanted to continue with it, but I wasn't sure if he was going to take to it so easily again or if that was just a fluke the first time since he didn't know what it was. Was he going to resist now that he knew it wouldn't come off? As always, I prepared for the worst. But just like the first time, the second we offered the bit, he mouthed and it and it slipped right in with zero drama. And as the days progressed, the chewing did start to lessen little by little. When he's standing still he doesn't seem to quite grasp how to hold it all the way, but he does seem to be understanding it when in motion. 

We also practiced some flexing, which he does VERY well with the halter. With the bridle, he was a bit resistant at first. Still no head tosses, but he didn't understand how to give into pressure at first. But after some patience, I think it started to click for him, and by the end of it he was starting to get it. I think with just a little more practice he'll take to it very easily. 

On the last day we also tried both the bridle and the saddle. At this point the saddle doesn't phase him at all, and just like before he took the bit with ease. I'm honestly not even sure he really noticed the saddle at this point because he's still so focused on the bit. 

Overall, I think he took everything in stride. I knew we threw a ton at him all at once, and while he definitely seemed confused at times, he still seemed like he was trying his best, which I'm incredibly proud of. We're going to continue working on having him wear the bridle from here on out, and keep focusing on the flexing, and move our way up to ground driving. I'm incredibly excited to see him taking these huge steps forward, and especially at how well he handled these new challenges.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

And a cute photo to go with my last update 😍


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

I think he’s looking less soft!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

@Knave thank you, I think so too!! 😍 Still working on building up that muscle, but we're making steps in the right direction!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

I'm so beyond stressed out I don't even feel like a real person anymore. I keep meaning to write all these thoughts in my physical journal, but I keep forgetting/running out of time and I type so much faster so I guess I'll put it here instead just so I can finally get it out my head. 

Earlier in the year, my grandma passed away, and in her honor my cousin adopted a puppy. The puppy has started to lose a lot of weight, and yesterday when she took her to the vet we found out she has extreme kidney failure and they're going to have to euthanize her. I was a wreck last night, and even just typing this I want to cry again. She's not even a year old and she's sweetest puppy, and there's nothing we can do. She'll be gone by the end of the week.


After months and months of constantly being delayed, we finally closed the loan on our house a couple weeks ago. Then on Sunday night we were sent an email letting us know that because it took us more than 60 days to close our loan (because the builders constantly delayed our floorplans that the bank needed) we now have to pay additional for the rising costs in supplies (when we first contacted the company one of the first questions we asked is if they lock in their prices because we didn't want to face nasty surprises like this. They said yes, but I guess there are still exceptions). We've already closed our loan and we are literally OUT of money. We still don't know how much extra they need or how we're going to pay for it.


Because the build time is so up in the air (7 months? 8? 9? 10?), I don't want to put a lease on a rental (plus a billion other reasons- dealing with a landlord, running our credit, waiting for approval, bringing over large furniture, setting up utilities, land maintenance, etc.), so suggested we stay at an extended stay hotel of some sort. I did a ton of research, only to discover a majority of these places don't accept pets, which boggles my mind since SO many people have pets and the option of extended stays are so limited. I finally found one that did accept pets (we've 2 small dogs) and was within our budget. We called last night to make a reservation, only to find out that they have a fee of $10 per pet PER NIGHT for EACH pet (plus $25 per pet for the first week), which not only we be an additional $650+, but that the rate listed online is only if we pay the entire 6+ months upfront, otherwise the rate is higher. Again, this is specifically a hotel intended for guests staying months at a time, so I can't understand these incredibly expensive hoops to jump through. Also, why wouldn't they just list those fees online so people don't waste their time on a place too expensive for them? Needless to say, we can't stay there, so I stayed up all night trying to find other options and I came up empty. 


Finding a truck rental is proving far more complicated than it should. My car is TINY and can't tow anything behind it, but it's too small to carry our basic necessities (husband has a lot of tools for work). I wanted to rent a small box van and tow our car behind it, but apparently every rental place we've contacted only has vehicles far outside our budget with the ability to tow (all of the smaller vans can't tow for some reason). Not only that, but we don't NEED a van that large, plus I don't feel comfortable driving across the entire country in such a huge vehicle. We thought we had luck with finding a truck rental, but apparently the company doesn't offer any 1 way rentals to NC!!! I've thought about trading in my car for a truck, but we honestly can't afford a car payment right now and my car is completely paid off. 


We have less than a month to figure this all out. I only have 2 friends left in CA, and I want to see them before we go, but due to work schedules (and 1 has a new baby with her own needs), it only leaves a small window of opportunity. But I just discovered that 1 friend has contracted Covid, so not only am I scared for her, I don't know if I'll get to see her again before I leave. 


And of course, the stress of finding transport for Florian. To everyone who commented on my other post, THANK YOU. It helps me so much right now to have some direction, and I really hope I can at least sort out his situation soon. Although I still don't even know what barn he'll be at in NC since I need to visit my options in person before making a decision, which means I can't 100% make a reservation for him right now. And it makes me so sad to think I'll be in NC and he'll be all the way in CA and I won't be seeing him for weeks until it's all figured out. 

I have never ever EVER been the type of person to "go with the flow". I like to make plans and schedules and I don't procrastinate. So having all of these variables up in the air is so unbelievably stressful and there's nothing I can do to change any of them. All we can do is spend more hours upon hours online trying to research our options, and it's effecting my day to day living because I don't know how to just put it away for awhile and live in the moment. I'm worried and frustrated and crying ALL the time because I don't know what we're going to do or how we're going to do it.

We wanted to make this move, to uproot out entire lives and trek across an entire country to a state where we have no friends or family, to make our lives easier. And right now it feels like the biggest mistake we've ever made.


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## Txshecat0423 (May 27, 2020)

@PinkPrancer, I don’t know if this is a possibility for you, but we are currently building. We bought an RV when we moved up here and have lived in it on premises while they are building the house. We lucked out and found a used one in very good shape, and I know you said y’all don’t have any more money, but it might save you money rather than renting something. Then you could sell the RV/camper when you move into your house and recoup some of what you spent for it. Hope all turns out well for you. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Unfortunately, per our CC&Rs we are not allowed to park any sort of RV, sprinter van etc. on our own property during construction  We had the same problem with my sister a few months ago when she and her boyfriend were searching for a place to live since they were seriously considering a sprinter van, and they eventually had to go for an apartment.

Thank you for commenting though 🧡 I know to some I probably sound super dramatic, but this is where I'm at and how I feel right now.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

I guess to include a smidge of positivity, I should mention that today we'll be trying out that Billy Cook saddle on Florian. Unfortunately we only had a couple of minutes on Monday, but we did toss it on him real quick and my trainer said surprisingly it fits his withers very well. She says the back of it, while it doesn't pinch him, it is...tight? I can't recall the exact word she used and I'm probably describing it wrong, but that's how I remember it. But she wants to see him walk in it (like I said, we only had a quick minute) and to try it with a thin saddle pad as well. Also, since he still has some weight to lose, there's also the possibility it might fit him better once he slims down a little bit more.

I haven't committed to buying it yet since I want to hear more of what she says about it today, and I'm going to try to get some photos to share here and get ya'lls opinions as well.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

One more post from me today. We took Florian to the indoor arena yesterday to play around and during the lesson beforehand they were doing an exercise with flags. Florian loved them! He wasn't scared of them, even though they were fluttering all kinds in the breeze. He was being such a baby, snuffling around and knocking them over. I swear, he's so cute ❤❤❤


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## Txshecat0423 (May 27, 2020)

Awwww I love those photos with the flags! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

Your story is so terrible. I am so sorry you are going through all these nightmares. My neighbor two houses down decided to build on her property so her son could live there too. She had SO many problems, and exactly this one too.


PinkPrancer said:


> After months and months of constantly being delayed, we finally closed the loan on our house a couple weeks ago. Then on Sunday night we were sent an email letting us know that because it took us more than 60 days to close our loan (because the builders constantly delayed our floorplans that the bank needed) we now have to pay additional for the rising costs in supplies


I feel so bad for her, and now you. She is the dear sweet loving horse owner whose horse died from licking too much Himalayan salt. She has had so much hard luck. I hope and pray things start falling into place for you.

I have moved a bunch of times in my life and wherever I move, I find good and generous people. When you first start out, you have no friends, but they are out there and you will find them. (((Hugs))))


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

We are FINALLY in NC!!!!

Since I've been laying out my life story in my most recent thread, I figured I should probably update here too. But anyway, we just arrived here a week ago, after 5 long days of driving. The dogs weren't thrilled with all the time in the car, but somehow we all survived haha! I like our apartment, it's clean and well taken care of and our neighbors are polite and quiet. 

Leaving Florian behind was really hard, but I know he's in good hands. His trainer is going out to see him 4 times a week, and the ladies who own the horses next to him promised they'd give him a little scritch on the neck when they came out. The other day one of them even sent me a video of Florian and her gelding running around in the large arena and it made me SO happy. They looked like they were having so much fun, and seeing Florian gallop about at top speed always fills me with joy. 

Today I got a text from the hauling company (we ended up going with Equine Express which had been suggested here!) that they'll be picking him up next Saturday, the 21st. He'll have a stop over at their facility in Texas, but I don't yet know for how long. They said they'll continue to give me updates on his ETA to NC throughout his trip. 

It's so crazy to think about just how much he's going to travel, and I really hope he'll be comfortable. We got him a box stall so he has as much space as possible to move around or lay down if he wants to. But he seemed to do just fine making his way to the US from Canada, so I'm feeling good that the journey won't stress him out too much and he'll show up happy and healthy. 

Otherwise, it's just making it day by day. This past Monday we got our furniture in that we'd shipped over, and it is SO NICE to have our bed again! Let me tell you, sleeping on an air mattress for days on end is not fun. Unfortunately it seems we didn't pack everything we needed (some of our kitchen boxes somehow didn't make it in, so we're in dire need of some silverware), so now comes to the tricky part about not wanting to spend too much money on things we technically already have, but still need since we can't go without them for 6 months (like a vacuum). It's really not that bad, just kind of awkward since it's a lot of stacked boxes everywhere and then discovering some mundane household thing we don't have that you kind of take for granted. 

But we did remember to pack all of my art supplies, so I was incredibly happy unboxing most of that yesterday. Now that we're here I'm more determined than ever to make my small business thrive, so I'm really focusing on that right now. I have not yet found a job here in NC (which gives me all day to sit around and overthink myself into a frenzy), so I'm trying to take advantage of the free time to pour myself into my crafts and see if I can possibly turn it into my fulltime income. It's a bit of a dream, but I'm going to try! 

Progress on the house is going well. The foundation is complete and lumber has started appearing on site! I'm so excited to see the structure start to go up, it'll make it so much easier to really visualize and end product. We've visited the property a few times, and wow! The insects here are no joke! Haha, just something else to get used to I suppose, but I'm reevaluating our flea/tick control for all the animals just in case. 

Anyway, that's all I got off the top of my head. Things are well for the most part, it's ME that's a giant mess!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Florian was picked up yesterday! I wish I had been able to be there, but I was told he loaded up very well, and when I checked in with the drivers in the evening they said he was eating/drinking and overall in good spirits. He'll be in Texas tomorrow for a holdover for a couple days, and then he'll arrive HERE on Thursday!!!

Not much else to report, just that my boy is finally on his way to me. I'm so excited to see him again and be with him and get back to his training. I really hope he's shed out the last of his winter coat (he still had some stragglers on his lower belly when I left) because it is HOT. I definitely need to find a better way to cope with this heat (personally) and help him get acclimated to water on his hind legs because I have a feeling I might need to be hosing him down quite a bit.

Just a few more days until I get to see him again 🧡 I can't wait!!!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

I was informed yesterday that Florian's truck has been delayed by a day, so he's spending another day in Texas and will be here Friday instead of Thursday! Boo!!  I know this is pretty normal for long-distance hauling, and thankfully it's only one day. I'm trying to look on the bright side in that Friday is my husband's day off, so he'll be able to be there. So that's a nice silver lining. My only major concern is the time they have slotted for his arrival is smack-dab in the middle of a thunderstorm, complete with lightning. I know there's nothing I can do but deal with it, so I'm trying not to work myself into a frenzy. Maybe we'll get lucky and the storm will completely miss our area anyway!

In other news, I've not yet started taking any riding lessons again and I'm not really sure why. I have time and it's already worked into our monthly expenses, but for some reason I've been feeling very resistant to it. The woman who'll be training Florian also offers lessons, not to mention there are a couple other barns around I could go to as well, so it's not like I don't have any options. But it's like I don't feel any sort of excitement or joy at the thought of riding, all I want to do is work with Florian. But I also know that if I ever want to ride Florian (which is a major goal) I need to get more hours in and really improve my skills, so I need to suck it up and get started.


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

I understand that. Maybe you can do a lesson with the trainer while she is working Florian. Then she could show you what she’s doing with him, and you could practice on a broke horse.

I think it would be beneficial because you would know how Florian was started and what buttons to use. There are many different ways to teach something or respond to something, and if you know how he was taught you won’t have to be reteaching a new method.

ETA- I do that sort of thing with my girls on occasion. Then they can see a basic exercise and learn to teach it and perform it and the whys of it. That has improved their overall horsemanship a ton, because they understand where the teaching originates.


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

I'd say get a lesson in between now and then to give you something else to focus your mind on. Preferably with the trainer you chose for him. It'll give her an idea of where you are at and you the opportunity to learn under the person training him. You'll handle Friday and his (new) homecoming when it gets here no matter the weather. It'll be nice to have extra hands available just because it's always nice to have an extra set available.


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

Yes, start taking lessons now! I'd take them with the trainer who will be working with him, since she will then have experience with both him and you, separately.

Think of it as a gift you are giving him -- when he's ready for you to ride him, you will be a good rider for him. You won't be confusing him with mixed signals or making his early riding experience unpleasant by being clumsy, heavy-handed, or poorly-coordinated.

ETA this is how I started with my Pony when he was green -- I took lessons on the lesson pony while he was trained by the trainer and better riders, then after a few months I started riding him. Even then, there were things that I couldn't work through with him, e.g. his problems with his left lead, and he'd have to get more training rides to sort it out.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Whoa, today was a wild ride! Turns out 7:30AM ultimately turned into 7:30PM! But hey, we missed the storm, the weather was beautiful and Florian is here!!!!! 😍 I'm so beyond happy to see him again, and he appears to have lost a good chunk of weight from what I can tell. After a bit of coaxing he unloaded well, and was immediately interested in all the grass and other horses who had come out to investigate in their paddocks. For now he's being quarantined in his own pasture and he seems to be doing just fine. He rolled around a ton, ran along the fence line with the other horses and already got a nice greeting from the electric fence. He seemed to at least recognize me and my husband, but he was so interested in everything else I didn't want to overwhelm him. He was a little spooked by his new run in shelter, but I think it's because it's a lot more closed in than his old one and it was getting dark, so I'm sure tomorrow he'll feel a lot braver in exploring it. Overall, he genuinely seems like he's in good spirits and just needs a little time to settle down and feel at home. I'll be going out to visit him tomorrow morning 🥰 I'm so happy he's here, I still can't quite believe it!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Florian is settling in beautifully to his new home. On his first day he was quite fresh, running and rolling around a ton, but he's already back to his slow pokey self, and coming up to greet me when I visit. I think he's a little put out that he doesn't get to visit with the other horses and he's always as close to the fence near them as possible. Hoping his quarantine goes well and soon he'll have a buddy! 

Today the riding lawnmower was brought out and he was quite interested! But he didn't run away or spook, and he even started following it at one point. Since it's quite loud I didn't know if he'd be frightened, but now that it's on the other side of the yard he's already ignoring it. 

I'm not entirely sure when his first day of training will be. It really depends on my trainers schedule so there's no set times or days, just that it'll be around 4 times a week. I'm so excited to see his working with a professional again and I'm trying not to be impatient 😆 I also really want to hose him down since he's got a good bit of dried sweat on him from the trailer and I think it's attracting a lot of insects. But since im trying to keep him out of shared spaces with the other horses during his quarantine I need to ask if there's another spot I can take him for a quick rinse.

Anyway, I'm just so happy he's here. I know it's only been a few days but he already seems to be adjusting so well and it's alleviating a lot of my fears that this was going to be too stressful for him.


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

If you can't get access to a hose, a bucket of water and a large sponge will do a lot of good.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

I wanted to update today because I feel like this afternoon was so special. I know I'm probably just "humanizing" Florian and this is not actually a big deal, but I don't care. It made my heart so happy and I'm going to remember today for a long while.

In the past, I've always brushed Florian or did any sort of exercise/training with him when I was with someone else, either my trainer or husband. When I went to visit him on my own, it was just to feed him or spend time together but not really doing anything. This is purely due to my own lack of confidence, not because I don't know how to do these things or that Florian won't let me. 

So with that in mind, I went out today on my own to visit him. Florian is still being quarantined in his field, which I honestly think makes it a lot easier not having to worry about another horse constantly pushing him around. So I went inside his field with him, and for about 45 minutes, I just spent time brushing him, all on my own. I didn't halter him or tie him up, and the whole time he stood there and let me brush him. He was so relaxed, and every once in a while it's like he would turn his head and watch me, like he was checking in with me and taking me in. I talked to him while I brushed, and I don't know how to describe it, but it's like he KNEW me. Like I wasn't just some random human come up to pet him, but that he truly remembered me from before the move and he trusted me. 

The only time he moved around was when the BO's husband and small children came out to play in the backyard, and they snagged his attention. But once he realized what the noise/movement was coming from, he relaxed again and we continued on. I know it sounds like such a small, insignificant thing, but having it just be the two of us, and him standing there without being tied and allowing me to brush freely, it really felt so different than it usually does.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Florian got a new roommate! Meet Jake!









They already get along so well! Florian is very interested in Jake and follows him everywhere, sniffing him and constantly sticking his nose in Jake's face. Their first interaction had minimal drama, a tiny bit of squealing on Jake's part and then they both decided that grazing was a better idea haha

I went out to watch them yesterday evening and it's really interesting to watch them interact. Florian gives Jake these little bites on his rear, but his ears aren't pinned and they don't look overly aggressive. Jake is much more vocal and still squeals and at one point gave a half hearted kick, but it felt so minimal, just like Florian's bites. But for the most part they just grazed together, often touching noses.

What I found different is how much Florian wanted to graze. For the past two weeks, every time I go to visit he rarely ever grazes, and he'll usually stop and come up to the fence when he sees me. But with Jake beside him, I was pretty much chopped liver haha Is this the end of my sweet pony who loves to come up for pets and snuggles? I hope not!

Anyway, I'm so happy Florian has a buddy again. I know he missed being around other horses and it's so nice how well they get along 🥰


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Yesterday, Florian had his first walk on the path that leads to the sand arena. The entire path is about half a mile, and he made it about a third of the way there before we decided to give him a break and turn him around. He was definitely on alert as we walked, but he did not plant his feet or refuse to move. Every once in a while a squirrel or bird would flit by and he'd pause, but after a moment to process he'd continue on. There's a baseball field nearby, and while you can't see it, you can hear the bat hitting the ball with a sharp 'Ping!' sound. In their fields, the horses are used to it, but walking on this unknown path, Florian was definitely much more sensitive to it. 

We stopped occasionally to allow him to relax and graze a little bit before continuing on. Then we turned a corner and the sounds of the baseball field were behind us. The baseball bat went 'Ping!' and this time Florian spooked. He broke into a trot, but thankfully my trainer was able to calm him in seconds. I feel like he trusts us, that we won't put him into danger and can listen to us. I told her that I feel bad, that I wish he could fully understand us and I could tell him it's all ok and there's nothing to be afraid of. But she let me know that's what we are doing, that even if we can't speak the same language, by building up this relationship and my leadership skills we are letting him know that he can depend on me and he doesn't have to be so nervous whenever he leaves his field. 

Aside from training, Florian is doing so well. He and Jake get along wonderfully, I love seeing them interact. They really seem to like one another, and neither one really pushes the other one around, at least from what I've seen. I'm sure there's a hierarchy there, but it's not overly prominent.


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

Your trainer sounds nice, and his new living arrangement sounds wonderful also! Glad things are going so well!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

@ACinATX Thank you! Yes, I really like my new trainer  She never makes me feel stupid or embarrassed when I'm lacking confidence, or I have questions, and she takes such good care of the horses.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

I've been gone for a week since I had to fly back to California to finish packing up everything hubby and I have over there, so no real new updates on Florian's training. It's been about a month since my last update on him, and if I'm honest, I feel some kind of way about his progress. But I don't want to get too detailed since I feel badly about my last thread where I was worried about suitable living arrangements for Florian, and it's not my intention to drag anyone through the mud or talk badly since I know I catastrophize everything and jump to wrong conclusions. Hubby and I have agreed not to rush into making any rash decisions about moving him or anything like that, and I know Florian's needs are being met and he likes his paddock mates, and that's what's most important.

He had his first visit from his new farrier last week, and I think it could have gone a little better. He's getting so much better at his front legs being picked up (even I picked them up and cleaned them out!! WHOO!!!), but still isn't thrilled about the back ones. But overall, I don't think it was entirely his fault for being a bit anxious. The farrier worked inside the main barn, which Florian's never been inside before so it was an entirely new setting for him. There were some rustling bags that spooked him when he first entered because the fan was on, and I think he was wary of the farrier as well having not met him before. He needed some time to relax, and I noticed this farrier also moved his feet around differently than his last one did, so that was also something he had to adjust to. Overall, I know he's improving because I can see how far he's come from when I first got him, but I still feel really badly that he has these issues because I know horses much younger than him are fine with their feet being handled, and I know some farriers get really upset at a horse that won't stand perfectly. I'm doing my best to fix this problem which is why we've invested as much as we can into his training from professionals, but it still doesn't feel like enough. 

Anyway, I've not yet gone out to see him since I got back, and in a weird way, it's almost like I don't want to. It's like when I see him, I have this feeling that I'm just letting him down and I always leave feeling so disappointed in myself. Sometimes I wonder if I'd have these same feelings if I had an older, well-broke horse, but I honestly think I would because I still don't think I'd feel like I could keep him at the same level. It's like it's a no-win situation either way, but the thought of selling Florian breaks my heart. I know he has SO much potential, he has a good mind and a nice temperament and (aside from his weight) is in great health. He has everything going for him, but it's like I'm floundering because I don't know how to get him there. 

This wasn't meant to be such a sad update. I guess I didn't realize how much I've had pent up about this. I just wish I had horse-y family or friends that I could turn to and lean on.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Anyway, here's a cute photo update on him.


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

I’m sorry you are feeling this way. It’s easy for me to say “don’t,” but I know that’s hard advice to just take.

Florian is happy, and you are caring very well for him. His needs are being met. That is all that is required.

Anyone with a young horse gets to feeling behind and a bit self conscious about that. Know this though, he will get there. As long as someone is working on him (who is not awful, which I’m sure you are aware of that), he will get there. Progress is slow in the beginning. One day it will seem like you almost forget that you were ever in this time frame. This I know. One day it all turns around and you suddenly realize your horse is broke, and you are good friends and you trust him. You will get there, just hold on to your patience, and try and let go of your self depreciation.


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

PinkPrancer said:


> I just wish I had horse-y family or friends that I could turn to and lean on.


You do . . . and it is us. And the people at your barn. You can always turn to us if you have doubts or questions. We may not be right, but we sure will have opinions and you can sift through them and decide what feels right to you. And after you do, we'll still be here, cheering you on and supporting you.


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## Luna’s rider (Jan 23, 2021)

PinkPrancer said:


> I've been gone for a week since I had to fly back to California to finish packing up everything hubby and I have over there, so no real new updates on Florian's training. It's been about a month since my last update on him, and if I'm honest, I feel some kind of way about his progress. But I don't want to get too detailed since I feel badly about my last thread where I was worried about suitable living arrangements for Florian, and it's not my intention to drag anyone through the mud or talk badly since I know I catastrophize everything and jump to wrong conclusions. Hubby and I have agreed not to rush into making any rash decisions about moving him or anything like that, and I know Florian's needs are being met and he likes his paddock mates, and that's what's most important.
> 
> He had his first visit from his new farrier last week, and I think it could have gone a little better. He's getting so much better at his front legs being picked up (even I picked them up and cleaned them out!! WHOO!!!), but still isn't thrilled about the back ones. But overall, I don't think it was entirely his fault for being a bit anxious. The farrier worked inside the main barn, which Florian's never been inside before so it was an entirely new setting for him. There were some rustling bags that spooked him when he first entered because the fan was on, and I think he was wary of the farrier as well having not met him before. He needed some time to relax, and I noticed this farrier also moved his feet around differently than his last one did, so that was also something he had to adjust to. Overall, I know he's improving because I can see how far he's come from when I first got him, but I still feel really badly that he has these issues because I know horses much younger than him are fine with their feet being handled, and I know some farriers get really upset at a horse that won't stand perfectly. I'm doing my best to fix this problem which is why we've invested as much as we can into his training from professionals, but it still doesn't feel like enough.
> 
> ...


Im sorry you feel this way. I think a lot of it sounds almost like stage anxiety. For the little I can see I think you and Florian are doing well. Does he still have to leave a few things? Of course! No horse is born trained. Does it matter if it takes him longer? He has the fundamentals down (good temperament etc) and you’re working with trainers. I don’t think there’s a lot more you can do! You’re being hard on yourself. Enjoy your horse (and the challenges he brings along!) it’s a huge opportunity and privilege to own such an animal, and there’s no rush to complete the checklist.


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

OK I would like to say a couple of things. First of all, this brings back memories of me and Pony, and yes I remember thinking that I was disappointing him, or not riding him correctly, or inadvertently teaching him bad habits (on the ground and under saddle). And I remember how that made me hesitate to do stuff with him ("What if I mess him up?"). At the same time, he started showing signs that he didn't like how he was being trained. So I was like, "well, I can't work with him because I don't know anything, and the barn owner can't train him because he isn't liking what she's doing," so I felt pretty helpless. 

I'm not putting this out there as a solution for you, but what helped me the most was getting Teddy. Teddy was a whole other kind of horse from Pony. But having them to compare and contrast to each other made me understand each of them a lot better. And once I started understanding them, I got the confidence to work with Pony myself and also to speak up about his training. I don't know if it might be an option at your barn for you to work with another horse for a while?

Even if it's not, I think you should keep making the effort with Florian. I remember reading at the time about how forgiving horses were, and a quote that was something like "You do what you need to do and I will be there waiting for you at the end of it." This spoken from the mind of the horse. The idea being that once you have that relationship, things are going to go a lot more smoothly. But you have to build the relationship first.

I know a lot of people kind of poo poo the idea of building the relationship. I think these are probably amazing horse people who can just get on a horse and get it to do what they want because they are great with horses. Normal people like us (I think we are in the majority), I think we need to stack the deck in our favor and I think that means we need a solid relationship with the horse.

So go out there and be with your horse! Just stand with him in the pasture! Figure out where his itchy spots are! Teach him a trick! Figure out what is the easiest thing that you are comfortable doing, and do it! Literally even if it's just standing with him. I think it will help you out a LOT!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Thank you all for such kind comments, it means so much to me to read your support. I honestly didn't even realize how down I was feeling about all this until I started typing and it just started flowing out. I think I've been stewing on it for a little while but trying to keep it in so I don't sound like a whiner. But I am feeling better about it today, I went out and visited with him a little bit and he came right up to greet me (once he noticed I was actually there haha), which always makes me super happy. It started getting really hot so I cut my visit short, but I think tomorrow both hubby and I will go see him after work and give him a nice, extra-long grooming session together which always makes me feel good to see him all clean and pretty. 

I think the concept of "stage fright" is a really good way to put it. When I'm with him, even if I'm alone, I feel like I'm on the spot to do absolutely everything perfect and if I show even the smallest bit of hesitation then I'm a fraud. It's such a weird mindset in hindsight, but in the moment it's like I can't shake being judged if my horse isn't perfect. But I'm going to keep trying to look ahead and hoping for the day that I can get on here and tell you all that I tacked Florian up and we had the most amazing little ride around the arena ever! Right now that feels like a million years in the future, but I hope its true that at some point these beginning baby steps will be little more than a fond memory. 

Unfortunately right now my options of other horses to work with are pretty limited, but I am really hoping that will change soon. My trainer owns a mare that is currently away being used for a horse camp, but she'll be back the end of next month and I'm crossing my fingers she'll be the thing I need to get my confidence up. She's a draft too, which I think will help me get more accustomed to Florian's size (although it has gotten a ton better, other horses seem so tiny now!), and she's pretty much the perfect unicorn on the ground and in the saddle (so I've heard from multiple people), so I'm really keen on when she returns and hoping I'll be allowed to work with her. 

Anyway, we're going to get a vet out in the next week or so to give Florian a sheath cleaning. Florian produces a lot of smegma, which he's had since I first got him, and it seems to be getting worse, and I'm hoping that a proper cleaning will help lessen it. In the 7 months I've had him I've not had him cleaned, and I honestly don't know when the last time his previous owner did, so he's probably overdue. He'll likely need sedation since he's not thrilled with people touching his sensitive areas, and I kind of wish I thought to do this when he was already under sedation earlier this year when we got his teeth floated. Oh well, lesson learned for next time, I suppose.


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## twhvlr (Jul 5, 2017)

You really need to relax and go with your natural instincts and intuitions. All horses are individuals and learn in their own way. Some have quirky personalities. What works for this one doesn’t for that one. Just because you (trainer) try a certain way and it doesn’t work won’t ruin a horse. You take stock and try a different way. Just keep your emotions and reactions under control and your horse will do fine. (And when you figure how to do that 100% of the time, please let us lesser mortals know how!) I’ve trained my horses for decades and can honestly say that despite losing my cool a few times with each horse, I say I’m sorry, give an extra treat, and they have always forgiven me. I’ve never produced a renegade. Would I do some things differently? Absolutely! I’m always learning and trying new things. You have a good heart and love your horse. In a few years you will see how far that alone goes in the making of a wonderful companion. Just don’t “spoil” him or that will create a monster. He needs fair and loving discipline. Treat him right and he will do fine.


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## Luna’s rider (Jan 23, 2021)

PinkPrancer said:


> Thank you all for such kind comments, it means so much to me to read your support. I honestly didn't even realize how down I was feeling about all this until I started typing and it just started flowing out. I think I've been stewing on it for a little while but trying to keep it in so I don't sound like a whiner. But I am feeling better about it today, I went out and visited with him a little bit and he came right up to greet me (once he noticed I was actually there haha), which always makes me super happy. It started getting really hot so I cut my visit short, but I think tomorrow both hubby and I will go see him after work and give him a nice, extra-long grooming session together which always makes me feel good to see him all clean and pretty.
> 
> I think the concept of "stage fright" is a really good way to put it. When I'm with him, even if I'm alone, I feel like I'm on the spot to do absolutely everything perfect and if I show even the smallest bit of hesitation then I'm a fraud. It's such a weird mindset in hindsight, but in the moment it's like I can't shake being judged if my horse isn't perfect. But I'm going to keep trying to look ahead and hoping for the day that I can get on here and tell you all that I tacked Florian up and we had the most amazing little ride around the arena ever! Right now that feels like a million years in the future, but I hope its true that at some point these beginning baby steps will be little more than a fond memory.
> 
> ...


“When I'm with him, even if I'm alone, I feel like I'm on the spot to do absolutely everything perfect and if I show even the smallest bit of hesitation then I'm a fraud.” —> my friend, I feel like this every time I go to the barn! Very eloquently said- I think this is the perfectionism in us, and the desire to “belong” and to show competence. One of my trainers told me pretty straightforward that I’m too wishy washy, go in, grab the guy, halter on and LEAD! Anyway. Just to let you know you’re not alone.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Woke up yesterday morning with the WORST pain in my neck! Hubby thinks it's a pinched nerve, and I've got to say, it's a lot more painful than the neck cricks I've gotten in the past. Took some muscle relaxants to see if it'd help, but it just conked me out. We still tried going to the barn yesterday to see if walking around/movement would help, and that was a big mistake. It hurt so much I couldn't even brush Florian and could just stand there and pet his nose before I had to go sit down. I was hoping it'd be better today, but no dice. I'm mostly disappointed since my trainer has returned from vacation and today was supposed to be my first group riding lesson and I was SO looking forward to it! But I can barely walk without jolts of pain jumping through my neck and shoulder, so the lesson will just have to wait. Oh well, not much I can do but wait it out and cross my fingers it'll be better by next week's lesson.

In happier news, I think the summer heat/humidity is FINALLY starting to break! I'm soooooo ready for fall, and the forecast is looking good! It'll be interesting experiencing my first North Carolina winter as I've never lived anywhere where it snows before, but thankfully it should be pretty minimal, and as far as Florian goes...well, I just keep reminding myself he was born in Canada, so I don't think the cold will bother him too much


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

Have you been to a chiropractor? They can really help that sort of thing.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Not yet. I admit I tend to avoid doctors and I was hoping the pain would fade away today but unfortunately there's no noticeable improvement. But if it's just as bad tomorrow I've agreed to at least go to the clinic and see what they have to say. I've got a heating pad now and topical ointment, so I'm really hoping it does something.


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

On another note, I have a very bad neck. A horse picked me up by it when I was little, shook me, and threw me across a corral. I never had it seen, but apparently it broke my neck, and now it is a floating vertebrae that just touches my spinal cord. This causes me a few issues as you can imagine.

I found this oil from doterra, which I would normally consider an overpriced oil company. It is, but you can’t get their blends at other places. The oil is called Pasttense, and it comes in a roller. It will do wonders for my neck. I get bad tension headaches too from the neck, when it doesn’t give me migraines. The migraines it won’t touch, but the tension headaches it helps a lot. Anyways, always after I put it on, like ten minutes later, my neck gives a big pop and relaxes.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

@Knave Wow, that sounds pretty intense!!!  I'm glad you've found some way to deal with the pain, and I'm 100% going to look into that oil! Even though this pinched nerve is finally starting to get better, I tend to have a lot of lower back pain anyway from a sledding accident a few years ago (compressed vertebrae near my tailbone....now I'm curious how many other people on these forums have/had broken backs  ). Thankfully it's been kind of rainy and gloomy these past couple days, so I don't feel TOO guilty about not making it out to the barn.

But on a cheerier note, even though I wasn't able to make it out to my lesson last Sunday, my trainer and one of her students still worked with Florian and sent me a cute photo! He does very well with a rider on his back, and I've only seen him spook once during a desensitization exercise. He does pretty well when it comes to yielding to the pressure of the reins since we did a lot of flexing during groundwork (also that other exercise I can't remember the name of...it's done during lunging where you clip these tension band things to his bit and then the other half to his saddle or another band around his belly), but I don't think he really understands leg pressure yet. Still, he looks so cute I just had to share! 🧡


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

Wow! I didn’t realize he’d come so far!


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

Halter/Bridle should look like this....

With bit hanger to the outside of the halter.

Glad to see he is doing well with a rider up.


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

I wish I had a photo to share of yesterday, but I was so excited I completely forgot. Oh well  

I was scheduled for a group lesson yesterday, but a crazy storm washed us out. However, we still managed a lesson with Florian under saddle in the afternoon, and it went SO well!!! When I'm watching him, I can see him trying to figure out what's being asked of him and what the cues are supposed to mean. It's like you watch his eyes and see the gears turning in his brain, and while he doesn't always get it right away, it's clear he's trying his best to figure it out.

I set up some small cones into a simple obstacle course for him, and it finally dawned on me just how difficult those tasks are for a horse who's never done it before! I've always done these obstacles on seasoned school horses that know their way around the cones, so it always felt extremely easy. But watching Florian step on the cones or kick them underfoot, I realized just how much he has to concentrate to do it correctly. At one point he even tripped over a cavalleti pole, and like a true champ he didn't panic when it tumbled through his legs, he calmly figured it out and kept walking like it didn't faze him. I was SO proud!!!

We're still working through picking up his feet. My trainer picked up his back legs and he stood like a total gentleman, but he wriggled some and yanked his feet out from me when I did his front legs. But I have to wonder if this is more of a "me" thing since I'm still not as assertive as I need to be, and maybe he's testing to see if he can push me around some. When my trainer or hubby picks up his feet he does much better, so I'm not sure. Or maybe he was just being a stinker and it had nothing to do with me, haha!

But anyway, I was so pleased at the end of his session yesterday. He did so well, and it makes me so incredibly happy to see him engaged and learning. My trainer says he's reaching the point where I can even get on him since he would continue to stay on the lead line and we would be working on his cues at a slow walk, it's mostly a matter of ME reaching the point where I'm comfortable doing that. So....that's a little bit terrifying!! I know of course I WANT to ride my horse, but it feels so soon!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

This update is a couple weeks overdue, but I am officially riding Florian! I had one lesson strictly to help me get over that first mental hurdle of just getting ON him, and trust me, I definitely needed that entire lesson. I was so shaky and terrified and emotional, and when I finally got on him, I held on for dear life. I got a little pony ride where we walked in a small circle, and then I immediately got off. So, not the most exciting from an outsiders' perspective, but this was a HUGE step for me and my heart was pounding long after I had my feet firmly back on the ground.

Then, this past Friday I had a full length lesson on him, and it was amazing!!!! At this point, my trainer is keeping him on the lead line for my benefit. I am still too nervous to ride without it, however Florian is understanding his cues so well now! She keeps the line very slack so that I am the one telling him where to go and he is not simply following after her. I know I need to work up to riding without the line since I don't want it to slow down his progress, but I might need another lesson or two before I'm ready for that. Right now the only saddle that fits him is a treeless fur saddle, so that has also been an adjustment for me since I've never ridden in one of those before!

And most exciting, on Friday I even rode him at a trot!  For this I still don't think he fully understands his cues yet, so the line was more necessary. We did a simple circle, and I was definitely just along for the ride! I know I looked absolutely ridiculous as I gripped the saddle with all my strength and tried not to completely pass out, but we kept him going for at least a full minute. I was pretty light-headed by the end of it (I tend to hold my breath when I'm scared) so I took a minute to calm down before we finished up (took him on a walk down the arena), and by the end of it I felt like I had scaled a mountain. Seriously, even though I know I'm doing the bare bones basics right now, I was on top of the world!! Florian was very good through all of it, listening well and responding to what was being asked of him. I'm also looking into getting him a saddle as well since I really think riding in something I'm more accustomed to will really boost my confidence as well.

All in all, it's surreal that I've made it to this point. I still thought I had such a long way to go before actually getting on my horse, but even though it still fills me with terror and anxiety, I'm DOING it!!!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)




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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

I am so happy for you!!! That is awesome!!


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## Luna’s rider (Jan 23, 2021)

You look good together!


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## PinkPrancer (Nov 10, 2020)

Thank you both 🥰 I get so proud whenever I look at that first photo, it's so surreal!


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

PinkPrancer said:


> since I don't want it to slow down his progress,


What's wrong with slowing down his progress? He's your horse to love and enjoy all his and your life. His progress can be as slow as you want it to be. No reason to make anything adhere to a timetable. It's YOUR progress! Make it however you want. I am so pleased and happy for you. I love journals like this.


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