# Switching Trainer..she's attached



## abbierose1656 (Aug 29, 2013)

Hey, im looking for advice on switching trainers. I've had lessons at two different barns in the past week and I've made my decision that I want to move. Today I had my last "lesson" at the current barn. This barn im currently at is not able to take me as far as I need to go, and doesn't have what me and my horse needs. the others do. My trainer and I have a very good relationship, she like an aunt to me. So when I told her im moving myself and later my horse to a new barn she was in denial. She was telling me she could teach me natural horsemanship like barn1 does, eventing like barn1 does. and take me far like barn2 can. My current barn does not have trails/cross country area, A certified instructor or lesson qualified horses. I don't know how to tell her im moving and my decision is made without hurting our relationship. I help out with beginners at this barn so I would like to be on good terms when I leave, so im welcome to come and help. Do you know how I can tell her in a civilized manner without hurting our ties? - thank you


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

If you haven't progressed as you feel you should, perhaps your current trainer sees area where you are lacking that you don't. Why not ask her? I had one who kept thinking her horse needed more training. The horse wasn't the issue, it was the rider. She had this dream of being much better than she was and it was preventing her from learning.


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## Salisbury Farms (Jun 22, 2013)

This is a great question. I think Saddlebag had it right when she suggested talking with your current trainer. There are two situations that could be going on: a) your trainer can not provide the services that you need, or b) you are do not have a clear understanding of what would be involved to meet your goals. If you directly state your concerns or goals to current trainer and then hear her out, you will have furthered your own education by listening to a professional tell you her opinion of what is involved with meeting your equine goals. If you agree with her then stay, if you don't then move on. Telling a professional that you want to move on is ok, this is a common and important conversation in the horse industry. I would definitely aspire to stay on good terms, you may end up coming back to this trainer to continue working with her someday in the future. I would phrase it to her that way, that you would like to further your own education by exploring other training methods, approaches, riding other horses, etc. This is actually all very important, working with different trainers is a big part of your education. Your current trainer should hopefully understand this, support you, and be available to work with you again in the future if the situation arises. Hope this helps!


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## EponaLynn (Jul 16, 2013)

You said in your OP that you already told her. If she's in denial that's her responsibility not yours. I'd back up what you told her in writing and it's a done deal. Be sure to say how much you value your friendship and want to continue to help beginners etc. 

Sometimes it's just time to move on.


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## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

Perhaps you should ask your trainer as to why you are at the level you are, and why you aren't progressing?

There may be a reason she has you and your horse training at the level you are at currently.

If not, then move. Stay friendly and in touch, but you have to think of number one.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

I really don't think you need to explain anything: this is a business move, nothing else. Just assure your trainer that you value your friendship, and hope it can continue.


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## palogal (May 30, 2008)

The trainer needs to get over herself. Riders have different needs and it's a decision based on your needs. If she was able to move you forward, she would have done it. Maybe instead of trying to talk you out of moving, she should seek more education and that would not happen to her.


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## 6gun Kid (Feb 26, 2013)

Its just switching trainers, youre not married. Its a business decision plain and simple. You aren't getting the service you expect, move on to someone who will give it to you.


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## Dustbunny (Oct 22, 2012)

As said above, it's business.

Probably best to keep these relationships on a business level and not get personally attached. It's easy to let that happen.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^That is hard to do when you spend so much time with trainers and such.


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## 6gun Kid (Feb 26, 2013)

Zexious said:


> ^That is hard to do when you spend so much time with trainers and such.


depends on the person I suppose, the only trainer I have ever formed any kind of non business relationship with, is my wife


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^I was just saying I could see how it's possible to get attached, from either end. It's best to keep things strictly business--that's what I have pretty much always done. I made "friends" with a trainer once and it didn't work out so well, and I learned my lesson xD.


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## palogal (May 30, 2008)

Zexious said:


> ^That is hard to do when you spend so much time with trainers and such.


Yes it is. I have a very personal relationship with my students and clients. DH says I don't have clients I have "Family I work with"...which is kind of true. 

Because of that, it's very important I continue to learn to meet their changing needs. I recently took a job with a very high level trainer as her catch rider, just for the experience of working with a top rider in the field to continue my education. It works well. I make money and I get to pick her brain 

Point is...if you're going to have personal relationships with your clients, it's up to YOU to make sure you're always meeting that riders needs or YOU send THEM to someone that can. 

Your trainer is not doing her job.


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## palogal (May 30, 2008)

6gun Kid said:


> depends on the person I suppose, the only trainer I have ever formed any kind of non business relationship with, is my wife


Good answer 
(I'm his wife)


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