# Horride girl at show



## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

dun, personally I'd just ignore her completely. And if she comes and talks to you just ask her naively with the _*big smile *_something like "are you afraid I can beat you?" Smile is a key - it freaks out people like her and they usually leave you alone. :wink: Remember, those who make a nasty fun by teasing another person (especially someone much younger) are not worth a conversation, attention, or respect. Don't worry - her behavior will turn around and bite her in butt big time one day!


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## tlkng1 (Dec 14, 2011)

kitten is right...bullies and people that do what this girl is doing are actually insecure...call it trying to psyche out the competition. It only works if you let it. Unless she does actually come at you physically, take her teasing as a challenge and as kitten indicated, if even bothering to give her (the girl teasing) the mild satisfaction of bothering to respond, not so much as ask as state that you know she is only teasing you because she knows you are the better rider. For most, it does make them blink when someone stands up to them, instead of getting upset.

If, however, she EVER comes at you physically, then you need to let someone know.


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## dunalino2903 (Apr 22, 2012)

I feel really annoyed as my loan pony's owner used to be her best friend, I could give her a great big smile. She threatened to knock my teeth down my neck.


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## redpony (Apr 17, 2012)

Is you Mom aware of her threats?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dunalino2903 (Apr 22, 2012)

Yes she is, but shes always with me so she does not think anything of it


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## MissKriss (Feb 22, 2012)

dunalino2903 said:


> She threatened to knock my teeth down my neck.


Shes lucky im not there... if i was there, i guarantee she'd never bother you like that again.

But since im not, ill give some advice.. DO NOT show her your afraid of her, because the minute you do, she will know she can say/do whatever to you. She sounds like shes either jealous of something you do or shes got some insecurites about her self. 

How does she start the conflict? Say your in the barn brushing pony, does she walk up to you and say stuff? 

Ugh i hate bullies.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## redpony (Apr 17, 2012)

I don't like that an older (probably bigger) girl is making you feel threatened at a place where you should be able to relax and enjoy yourself.I think you should at least make someone at the riding club know what is going on. She may be doing this to others too 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dunalino2903 (Apr 22, 2012)

Basically she didnt like my opinion, I prefure to ride natural, she is a total opposite thats fine by me but my opinion is my opinion. Shes not at my yard, it just happens at a show or on a hack. Like today, my loan pony was being really naughty and refusing to move she brought her horse about 1 metre away and a gang of friends and start talking loudly mocking me about how im small and i'm a crap rider coz I ride bitless and she rides in tomthumbs. I dont mind that but thats my opinion Im not willing to change it. And she continues to b*tc* about me and untill the owner comes over or my mum does she actully stop. And its unfair as im new to the club although she knows everyone.


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## westerncowgurl (Jul 14, 2010)

tell her she is being very immature, she shouldnt be picking on someone younger than her, thats probably why she is picking on you. like others said shes probably insecure about herself so she picks on someone younger than her to feel superior and thats wrong! and very immature.


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

Never start the fight, but if drawn into it be the one that finishes it. Don't ever roll over.

You've been given good advice on ignoring her, but if she initiates violence, make sure you fight as hard and as dirty as you need to win.

The only fair fight is the one you win.

BTW, if you have adults take care of this for you she'll think she's got your number. Once again, if she doesn't leave you alone you will be the one to have to put her in her place.

BTDT.


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## Ace80908 (Apr 21, 2011)

I was always the new kid ... we moved 11 times in 17 years...and I was very small. My freshman year I transferred to a small town and caught the attention of a very big and very mean girl. She made my life miserable, and constantly threatened me. 

I didn't say anything to anyone, and was too small to "finish" anything. My biggest regret was that I didn't involve the school or my parents... by the time I graduated high school I had grown to 5'8 and towered over her, but the mental trauma has carried with me. I would sit down with your mom and tell her how serious this is, and ask her to have a meeting with the other girl and her parents... tell her that you are not going to tolerate the behaviour any longer and have asked your mom to talk to her mom. She'll likely call you names or threaten you again, to which your answer should be "this is the behavior I am talking about" and walk away.

On a good note, after many years i returned to my home town, having done well in life, driving a nice car with my beautiful kids, and stopped at the local deli. Guess who was behind the counter taking my order? Mean people eventually get theirs.

Good luck, I know this sucks...


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## BaileyJo (Aug 23, 2011)

IMO, you need to be sure and talk to your mother about this and let her know it really bothers you. It's totally unacceptable. People like this don't quit with ignoring them. They keep coming at you and coming at you. Talk to your mom and be totally honest with her. If needed, she needs to talk to the person in charge. 

You are probably not the only one she is bullying. It needs to stop NOW and should not be tolerated even to the point of just "ignoring her."


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## xJumperx (Feb 19, 2012)

Id wait till you got a little whiles away from the show and knock her teeth down her throat...

If you are at a show, and she says something about your riding, just smile and say something along the lines of 'see ya when I beat ya!' 
Then go to the judge and tell them you are being bullied. Don't be scared, just politely walk over and say, "Sir/ma'am, number __ is threatining me to physically hurt me. Do you know where the barn owner is?" If they are good, they wont use her, you'll beat her. And tell the barn owner. She might even ban her.


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## xJumperx (Feb 19, 2012)

IMHO, don't ignore her any more. This has prograssed past that.


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## oh vair oh (Mar 27, 2012)

lol. I'd sneak a couple nuggets of fresh horse poo into her boots...


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## ls6firebird (Mar 8, 2012)

mildot said:


> Never start the fight, but if drawn into it be the one that finishes it. Don't ever roll over.
> 
> You've been given good advice on ignoring her, but if she initiates violence, make sure you fight as hard and as dirty as you need to win.
> 
> ...


i sort of agree about not starting it. i agree 100% with adults not being the best way to have it handled. its good to get advice from an adult and make sure theyre aware of it. but if they say something to the girl, it'll never end


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## TimberRidgeRanch (Mar 6, 2012)

My daughter was being bullied at school for some time and none of the teachers were doing a thing ( even though they say 0 tolerance ) anyways... One day the girl walked up to my daughter and started teasing her ( all because she loves Godzilla ) My daughter looked her in the eye ( Key ) and simply said I am sorry Did you say something? and then just walked away. 
My daughter did that like maybe 3 times then finally the girl left her alone. The girl got no reaction so she got bored. 
I find when someone feels the need to tease its because they have extremely low esteem. Or they are being bullied at home. 
I do not believe in violence unless its self defence. In todays world fighting escalates to more violence and today kids carry weapons ( Knives razors etc.) I avoid any kind of physical altercations and teach my kids the same.

TRR


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## BigGirlsRideWarmbloods (Mar 28, 2010)

dunalino2903 said:


> She threatened to knock my teeth down my neck.


 
Tell her to go ahead and try, because if she ever TRIES, she will be black listed & banned from the riding club, be arrested for assult, bullying and harrassment and you will get a restraining order that says she can't come within 100 meters of you, and that you will personally make it your mission to go to every event, club meeting, bake sale and anywhere else she wants to visit simply so she will have to leave.

The second she lays a FINGER on you it's assult, and her @$$ not yours and to ****** off, and picking on other people is a obvious sign of the sad and pathetic.

She's making you feel bad because she can, and it makes her feel better about herself. If you want her to stop, take that power away from her. Bullies can dish it out but never take it.


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## Mckellar (Apr 18, 2012)

Getting a restraining order and charging her would require you to go to the police , have her arrested and then she may go to jail or 1st offence she may get off lightly but then you have to go to court and testify against her. Not as easy as it sounds. And not fun and im sure her parents would be just thrilled. The horse world is small and I wouldn't wanna be the one sending cops to arrest people. Not to be rude on my end but what's the history there? No one will walk up to you and say they're gonna smash your teeth out. A big part of this story is missing. I don't know how old you are but just ignore her, she walks towards you then you walk away. People like to get a rise out of other people and if she can't get it she will stop. But that's no contact from your end don't even say hello. I would bet she won't hit you but if you let your parents know your scared then they might take it more seriously. Your parents should talk to her parents to figure this out..... But I still think your missing a big chunk of your story
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BigGirlsRideWarmbloods (Mar 28, 2010)

If some one is threatening me with violence, **** straight I would get the police involved. Screw them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tlkng1 (Dec 14, 2011)

Mckellar said:


> Getting a restraining order and charging her would require you to go to the police , have her arrested and then she may go to jail or 1st offence she may get off lightly but then you have to go to court and testify against her. Not as easy as it sounds. And not fun and im sure her parents would be just thrilled. The horse world is small and I wouldn't wanna be the one sending cops to arrest people. Not to be rude on my end but what's the history there? No one will walk up to you and say they're gonna smash your teeth out. A big part of this story is missing. I would bet she won't hit you but if you let your parents know your scared then they might take it more seriously. Your parents should talk to her parents to figure this out..... But I still think your missing a big chunk of your story
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


McKellar...I have to say it is unfair to indicate she may be hiding a part of her story...some bullies are just that..they don't need a reason other than another person existing.

I endured bullyng from a group of girls who were a couple of years older..one of which was literally my next door neighbor. Being the type to prefer peace, I never did anything about it, never told anyone and for a full school yearI endured those same types of threats..we are going to beat you up, you need a good beating, dont you dare tel anyone or else.... etc. The only offence against them I committed was walking down the same path to get back and forth to the same school while tryiong to copletely ignore the fact they were even standing there waiting for me, and unfortunately it was the only way TO the school without walking an additional mile or so on the roads.

The only resolution was that they left the school after that year to head to high school and I never again spoke to my next door neighbor even though she made "noises" about wanting to apologize etc.


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## DressageDreamer (Feb 29, 2012)

TimberRidgeRanch said:


> *I find when someone feels the need to tease its because they have extremely low esteem. Or they are being bullied at home. *


This is very true. I found out years after graduating from high school that one of the biggest female bullies in the school actually had an alcoholic, abusive father and her mother would not stand up to him. *However, it is still no excuse for picking on other people.* 

You have been given tons of advice so I won't put in my opinions. I just feel really bad for you as I have been there as the tiny girl that was an easy target (I also had an abusive alcoholic father but I became withdrawn instead of a bully). 

Please hang in there and don't let her behavior color the way you perceive life and the experiences with riding and competing.


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## ls6firebird (Mar 8, 2012)

in my experience, walking away just made people feel more powerfull. when all they have to do is walk over, and ya walk away, they affect you without having to even say anything.

ive also rarely seen just ignoring them work either. they dont always just get bored bullying. if they werent bored or busy with somethin else, they wouldnt be around in the first place. they dont usually get tired of hearing the insults coming out of their mouth. especially when their buddies are all laughing at what theyre saying. 

i grew up in a town with around 480 people. went to high school in the next town over, where there was over 500 just in my grade....needless to say not a lot of people thought i was cool lol


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## Mckellar (Apr 18, 2012)

Actually I take that back, I'm truly sorry if it came out the wrong way. I honestly did not mean it to sound the way it must have come across. My point was it sounded more like the girl was throwing comments around, most people who are gonna fight you are just going to do it. You see in arguments where it leads up to physical threats that was what I was trying to say. Obviously people are dumb and will act dumb for no apparent reason. But again, if the OP is actually fearful something is going to happen then tell your parents have them call the other parents to resolve the issue, that doesn't work then I guess report it to the police if you really feel that that is the only solution. 

Again I have no idea how old the OP is, I'm not sure if your comfortable enough to post that but there are different things to do with different age groups. If you are young then calling the police on a 10 year old is not realistic. If you a mid - late teen then call them. If you have to be around this person try to have your parents and her parents all get together. A lot of bully’s parents think their kids are just amazing and the other kids are the ones with the issues. Having a chat with all party's you may actually be able to help other girls in the future if you can help stop this behaviour now. 

I'm sorry if I came off harsh before, I truly did not mean to. This behaviour is unacceptable and horses are supposed to be a joyful time to get away from this kind of stuff, not get thrown right into it. Please don't let this affect you in a bad way, do what you can to stop it and please don't let this one dumba** girl ruin your time with your horse and make you feel any different about yourself. I'm sure you are an amazing person and no one should feel unsafe ANYWHERE. 

My experience on this I have been bullied my entire life for anything you can imagine. I was just that easy target because it started in the home as my first memories so that’s maybe why I'm quite bitter on the subject. I was also jumped 2 times, only beaten up once  .I'll get very angry if i write about them but wow i would have loved to have a heads up on that 2nd time


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## sirgalahadkem (Apr 24, 2012)

I endured bullying from pre-school all the way through my senior year of high school just because I'm over weight. This was before anyone cared about bullying or doing anything about it (I graduated High School in 2000). I can tell you from experience, ignoring them does not work! My entire class was relentless in making my life miserable (I still won't go to my reunions and, to this day, have not one friend from my graduating class... I currently have some close friends who were in lower grades at my school but we had never met before in school only outside of school years later). There was a point in 8th grade that I absolutely REFUSED to go into school. My parents didn't understand and wouldn't do anything (they only cared that I was missing so many days and were worried that they would get arrested for me not going to school NOT the real reason i wasn't going in), the teachers heard it all going on and did nothing to stop it (including one teacher who was part of it), and I had no friends to turn to. Despite this, I turned out OK (I think). 

Hopefully you have people who will listen to you and try to help you out with this girl. I'd bring a mini voice recorder and start recording when she starts in on you so you have proof. Play the recording for any adult who is in charge and explain to them how long it has been going on and that she has threatened physical violence (hopefully you'll catch that on tape too).


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## SummerSunshine (Dec 1, 2009)

After all these posts with tape recording and involving the police, I'm sure this poor girl is more confused than before!! 

#1 You get teased because she is jealous of you and has low self esteem. I think we all have established that. 

#2 What to do about it. Yes, you can ignore her because bantering back and forth only makes her continue. If you give her no reason to speak, then hopefully she will stop. If she physically threatens you, like knocking your teeth out, then please tell your mother. YOUR MOTHER is the person who should handle the rest.


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