# Being on period=Loosing it with my horse!!



## 23hejduk (Jul 22, 2012)

Yay for a post that will make me look really bad!! (oh well, gotta let it out)

I can be extremely irritable when on my period (no details necessary) and it seems that every ride during this devil's time ends up horrible.

For example, the day before yesterday all Hejduk did was spook at a tarp and I fell off but I lost my temper with him as if it was a buck or something. Then I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day as my confidence level dropped in the same way a bucking would drop it. 

Yesterday I had a crop and was trying to make him do circles on his right lead (not fun for either of us..he favors left) and after probably ten circles it still wasn't good enough for me so I kept going and he suddenly hopped left and out of the circle with my angry a** on the ground. (This was bareback)
Well, I reminded myself of why I don't normally ride with a crop! I hit him with it repeatedly. No sugar coating-that's what I did.  I hate myself for it because I know it does no good. But, by this time I had the stupid: "well I will teach you a lesson and force you!" attitude. I lunged too and then got back on to try the right circle again and that time was unsurprisingly worse. He kept changing leads and being unbalanced and trotting. I calmed myself down a bit and walked around.
But then my dumb a** just had to ask for a stupid side pass; something he can do but never when he's irritated... he did one direction and I immediately demanded the other only to be greeted with some rearing-and I used the crop - until a large rear that sent me sliding down his butt. I was irate. I lunged him again.

So, judging the fact that I hardly ever hit the ground but did so three times in two days (two of which being my fault!!), I THINK I SHOULD JUST LAY OF THE SADDLE DURING MY PERIOD!!!!!!! Maybe use my anger out on the poop rake and get things done!! 

SO
Am I the only crazy female who ends up beating her horse when on her period?? I swear any other time of the month I have a brain and work out the issue calmly. Is it just best to lay off the saddle during this time?

I'm sorry Hejduk


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

It sounds like you need to take that time to yourself, and give your horse the week off. It sounds like only detrimental things happen. Clean and polish your tack, go for a run, do other things.
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## corgi (Nov 3, 2009)

If your periods cause such mood changes that you hit your horse, it may be a good idea to go to a doctor. There are medications that can help.

If a doctor is not an option, I would avoid riding during that time. Your horse didn't deserve to get hit repeatedly. (But you know that already)


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## oh vair oh (Mar 27, 2012)

I was the same, but I've been diagnosed with PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder). If you are feeling emotionally terrible on your periods, you should see a doctor about it. I've since been put on Depo-provera in hopes of alleviating my PMS symptoms, and so far I've felt great.

But I was the same way, and had to learn the hard way not to get into a "battle" when I'm on my period. No tarps, no bad leads, no bareback, no crops, no sidepass, lol. Period week is endurance/muscle building week. All I do is long trot for 5-10 minutes each side and build muscle. Can't go too much wrong there, lol. And it keeps the horse in much needed shape.


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## 23hejduk (Jul 22, 2012)

Yep! You're all correct haha. I will do other things in this time!! I don't think I'm going to go seek meds at this point because I can prevent it by either doing other things or following 'oh vair oh's advice


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## NevCowgirl (Jul 23, 2012)

I definitely think that if you get like this, and you know you do then you should not take the chances of riding and getting mad at your horse. I would pick other things to do during this time and maybe like other people said, see a doctor about it. If it got bad enough you and/or the horse could end up getting hurt too and I dont think thats a chance you should be willing to take.


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## Zeke (Jun 27, 2010)

I have to be honest, no I have not heard of other women being this irritable towards their horses while on their period. It probably happens to some degree but I haven't seen it and don't experience it myself. Although I think realizing that your period has this effect on you is admirable and you have the power to make things work better for your horse and yourself. 

Sounds like you need to consciously avoid riding while you're feeling angry, wether its due to your period or not. Falling off not only puts you at risk but these behaviors may soon harm your horse. If the crop is such a temptation, toss it out, and save your horse the frustration. 

Horses do so much of their communicating with us through our emotions, as they obviously don't speak our verbal language. If all we are offering our horse is frustration and rash violent reactions, that is all they can really give us back. Think of it as having an argument over the phone. If the person on the other end is yelling at you and not hearing your side of the story...no matter how hard you try they just yell at you. What does your reaction tend to be? Most of us would yell back for a little bit trying to prove we would like to work the problem out, eventually though we hang up. Horses can be the same way, if we are only offering them frustration that's what we'll get in return. Luckily, it works both ways  if we offer clear relaxed cues and are only firm when our horse is feeling lost and needing some extra direction the ride/groundwork/interaction with go much smoother.


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## RunSlideStop (Apr 21, 2012)

I am going to be bold here, as a woman who can find myself in the same situation as yourself. This is a time to humble down and lose the prideful attitude. I am not saying you are doing it on purpose, but the fact still is that you act this way every time (from what I gathered). If you know you are acting this way or are going to act this way, it is your responsibility to be humble and quiet. It is a very intense struggle that you may not always win, but having the mindset of "I am acting like a fool so I am going to just hush up now" is a great place to start. You may even find that you apply this to other aspects of your life.

Do not seek medication - that is a crutch (and many will tell me I am wrong). Take responsibility for your feelings and actions, and stop ill-tempered thoughts and feelings before they manifest themselves physically by becoming quiet (inwardly and outwardly) and humble.

There is no greater teacher than humility.

Cheers,
RSS
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Elana (Jan 28, 2011)

Stay away from the horse when this is going on. I suspect you are exhibiting other less than pleasant behaviors around people as well as around the horse.

See a human doctor and get it sorted out. Life is way too short and your life is way too valuable to be spending a portion of every month unhappy like this. At some point you may react to your horse out of temper rather than good judgment and the horse may really hurt you in an evasive move.


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## Corporal (Jul 29, 2010)

Robert Dover said, "If you got hit (with a crop) if you went someplace, would you WANT to go there?"
I'm a hothead, but I've gotten more out of my horses with "good job" than with a crop. Yes, when I have to retrieve feeding buckets, and I'm in my flippy-floppies, I DO carry a crop 'cause I like my toes un-bruised. Still, I knew my horses were listening well many years ago, when I saw my students flipping the crop up to use it and my horses would respond beFORE they used it. It's that peripheral vision that they have, ya know.
OH, one more thing, a story. I was keeping my 8yo OTTB in a stall when I first got him. He didn't listen to me, so I yelled at him. He was facing towards me, stall door open. He wheeled around and kicked the other part of the stall SO FAST, that I didn't realize what had happened until my heart stopped racing. I also realized that it could have been my HEAD instead of the stall. Food for thought. You CAN control your moods. If you were asked to do so with a gun to your head, I am SURE that you would. Don't depend upon any meds. Your body will fight them and they won't work after awhile.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

With so many women who get big outbursts (myself included) its a wonder why more women don't medically suppress their periods.

5 years PMS and period free and counting!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

Meds may be a great place to start. During that time, your hormones go all out of whack - having something to keep them in check can be a life-saver. 

I get overly emotional sometimes; usually when I'm stressed or already in a bad mood. HOWEVER by realizing when it's time to have an easy ride because I'm in a bad mood, I avoid doing anything I may regret. My horse gets worked 5 days a week. I can't take a week off every month; instead I find coping techniques (Erm - rather, I would if I had to worry about cycling, right now I don't and this only have to cope with "bad days") or settling with easy rides isn't best bet. 

If you get so emotional you cannot control yourself or behave well around your horse, then you either need to seek help or avoid being around your horse at that time. Catching him and beating him repeatedly is - well, quite frankly - almost abusive, dare I say it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gypsygirl (Oct 15, 2009)

if im stressed or about to get mad at my horse i just bring her down to a walk and walk on a loose rein for a few minutes. during this time i think about what i could do differently to change how my horse is going. it always works to take a step back and calm down if you are feeling out of control.

if you think you are about to hit your horse when they dont deserve it or hit them excessively, i would drop the crop on the ground or not ride with it in the first place.


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## aldebono (Mar 15, 2012)

I have PMDD too and your doctor will be able to diagnose it and get you on the right pill. Some pills make it even worse because of the hormonal cycling they do. I have had to switch pills in the past because it's just finding one that is right for you. 

You and he will be happier.


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## Endiku (Dec 6, 2010)

I hurt terribly physically and become short tempered (because I'm not feeling well) when I am on my period every month, and for a long time I would just drug myself on midol and go out to work the horses anyways, thinking it would work out. My mare is a lot like how your gelding sounds though- extremely sensative to your emotional conditions- and I ALWAYS ended up having absolutely no fun and making my mare very upset and jittery. She takes her confidence from me in situations and expects me as a leader to be capable of control the situation calmly and efficiently, no matter what is happening. I have to be able to realize when she is incapable of and needed to be taught something, and I need to realize when she's actually just being a horse and evading work. If I cannot do this and I am only reacting without thinking about her emotional state and mind, then I need to step back and stay away from her until I have cooled off, returned to a calm state of mind, and can work again as her calm and collected leader. I suggest that you do the same.

If you feel like you absolutely must be around your horse during your period, I would suggest a quiet hack on the trails or a bit of long and low work over poles at a walk and trot. Have a grooming session, spend some quality time with him. Don't do anything that you would normally have problems with even when feeling good- as it will never work out. You might even talk to a friend or even staff if you're at a boarding facility who will be near you while you're working, and ask them to be your accountibility partner. Simply as them to remove you from the situation or remind you to be patient if they feel like you are being unfair to your horse.


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## Corporal (Jul 29, 2010)

How about cleaning tack or the barn on those days? Mine always get some neglect.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Do not school on days you're feeling bad. Just go for a ride if you must, take it easy, correct only mean behavior but don't try to introduce something new or school or try to fix anything.
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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

Good Lord! Having your period is not an excuse for that type of behavior. You chose to do that repeatedly rather than put the horse away and walk away. 

I have no idea why you are asking, it's perfectly apparent that you need to stay away from your horse when you are unable to control yourself.


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## Creampuff (Dec 1, 2010)

If there's a chip on my shoulder, I don't work my horse on anything fancy, such as working on his rate and git-up... I've never heard of _anyone_ repeatedly beating their horse because of "hormones." I would also be the one _not_ to seek a doctor because, over time, your body may become resilient to the medications and they stop working. Can someone say repeat problem? 

On days where I am feeling pretty junky I just groom or do the simple things. Leisure on a trail ride... Clean tack, repair things around the barn, and do "basic" exercises (bend, flex, walk/trot exercises).

Otherwise, _you_ need to exercise your self-control. Realize when you're about to go 'overboard' and _take a break._ Losing your temper does no good for you or your horse... neither does beating it. And your period certainly isn't an escape goat, especially since you swung that crop _more than once._


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## OwnedByAlli (Nov 8, 2011)

You need to find a way to relax and bring your fustration levels back down. You need to break the cycle of the fustration becoming anger which becomes agression.

I used to get so fustrated with Alli because I just didn't seem to be getting anywhere with her. I never hit her, even at the hight of anger I could never do something like hit her with a whip needlessly, I would just keep asking the question 'louder and louder' as if it would help. Obviously getting angry with her wasn't helping so I just bring her to a halt, stop doing anything at all, just sit there, and breathe for 5 seconds or so. I think to myself she is a young horse and is simply confused or unable to to what Im asking. I ask myself 'is there a better way to explain this to her?' There probably is! Also the pause allows the horse to relax as they will be worked up too. After pausing do something the horse can do before asking the new questions. 

Being on your period NEVER means it is ok to hit your horse repeatedly with a whip. And its not ok to blame it soely on hormones either- a guy wouldn't be able to say 'oh i hit that horse because my testosterone levels are really high after a hard work out in the gym.' I'm not trying to say you are a sharp tmepered person all the time here, just saying hormones arent a sole excuse for getting engry. Imho if you can't find a way to control yourself at your time of the month, you shouldn't be carrying a whip, use spurs, use a potentially very damaging bit etc because without a good coping technique emotions can get too high and end up disasterous for your horse's training and confidence.


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