# the long journey... tell me i should go on



## PintoTess (Aug 18, 2010)

share what??


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Lildonkey, speak. I don't know what you want to say but I am listening.


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## Cowboy Ken (Oct 28, 2010)

A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step...
We all anticipate your words to follow little donkey...
Begin!


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## Katesrider011 (Oct 29, 2010)

Please do share


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

sorry everybody-

okay here it goes-

there was once a herd of horses who lived in georgetown, australia. one day they decided they would travel to the US. they set of as soon as possible.they started traveling the day after and found it to be harder than they thought...but they kept on going. eventually, they came to the ocean. at first they did not know what to do, until they saw a large abandoned raft by the shore. so they swam out to the raft and started moving. the enjoyed the wind coming off the water. after a while the younger ones got dizzy and one fell off! that had started commotion and a nother fell. the horses had chance to get them so the sat there watching them float of in misery. after hours of silence they heard a weak nicker out on the water. everyone started to get more alert. then they heard another and they saw the two. eventually the two youngsters got to the boat shaking, it took a VERY long time for them to recover.

im not going to continue with out replys.


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## Katesrider011 (Oct 29, 2010)

lildonkey8 said:


> sorry everybody-
> 
> okay here it goes-
> 
> ...


Not going to continue without replies? I know you're only 8, but you shouldn't worry about what other people think. Don't be afraid to express yourself.


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

katesrider011, you inspire me i am going to ask you to be my friend


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## Katesrider011 (Oct 29, 2010)

I'd like to hear more.


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

ill type some out right know


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

okay change of plans... ill keep typing whatever-

the youngsters that fell recovered by the time the got to shore. they all enjoyed running again after staying still for two days. they all ran and kick and went crazy. what 1st went into their head was ...food... so they started looking for food. the had found an orchard in someones backyard. they trotted up and started to eat. soon the owner of the property came out, grabbed a shovel, and made a large gash in the leaders haunches,he was in much pain. he started to drag himself along. at first he did not think he could make it....


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

ill take any ideas, input ...etc literally i dont really know what to do next


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## Katesrider011 (Oct 29, 2010)

I'm not good at giving pointers, but all I see is you need to capitalize after periods, and change 1st to first. 

But that's just me being a grammar nazi.


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## Phantomstallion (Jan 3, 2010)

I love it. It's cool. There could be a pregnant mare or something.
I am only 11 and *you* (lildonkey) inspire me. *I'm* goona ask you to be my friend.


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

i know katesrider011... im purposely doing it


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## Cowboy Ken (Oct 28, 2010)

I noticed the same thing
if your going to write, you might as well get into the habit of doing it correctly.
Periods, and capitalization is part of that...
now the dot dot dot.....
I don't know for sure where that fits in!
LOL
keep it up...!


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

the herd leader kept limping along when he remembered he had two pregnat mares with him. he picked up his pace and tried to stop the herd, but they would not listen, he tried and tried and tried but soon gave up... would the mares stop the herd on their own? he didn't expect it because the mares usally didn't speak for themself. as they kept traveling, the mares not expecting special treatment, he gave it to them. they seemed to think he was crazy, didn't they know the were pregnat? well, he knew they were for a fact and he continued to pamper them. after a week or so all of a sudden the started to drag themself along as well. he knew they'd have to stop... and soon.

keep checking in to see what happens with this incredible journey.


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

I think it's great so far. You asked for suggestions so here are just a few. Where are they? After 2 days on the raft, where did they end up? What do they look like?
I think it is an interesting story.


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## PintoTess (Aug 18, 2010)

I like it, Keep going  And also just a tip, you could have started it off with "In the small town of Georgstown Australia, there lived a herd of wild horses", just to make it a little more interesting.
But keep going, im liking it so far


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

suddenly, the mares collapsed! every horse just saw the two mares collapse in the middle of India. they were all surprised except for the leader. did the others know that they were pregnant? he doubted they did. they didn't pay much attention to what went on with other horses. one of the pregnant mares started to breathe deeply.
6 of the horses started wandering off because they got to impatient. the herd leader rounded them up and when they got back there were two adorable foals struggling to get up. after about 15 minutes the leader stuck his nose up in the air and gave a loud, shrill nicker. in the distance the herd saw a large pack of wolfs a few miles away. when the wolfs caught sight of the two struggling foals and started pounding toward the herd the whole herd ran off except for the mares and their foals. the leader turned and gave a long, worrying nicker. the mares turned around, looking at them with a stubborn look but then turned back around. would they give up their own life just to save their newborn foals? this kept the leader worryed


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## PintoTess (Aug 18, 2010)

no the little foals!


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

the wolfs continued to run toward the mares. the wolfs were just leaping through the air when the mares and foals whipped around and started racing toward the herd. the wolfs landed head first on the ground but then looked up to see a large hoof slamming down near them. they yelped and ran off. the leader who had just saved his herd noticed they were running off. would he catch up to them?

in the end you will see the whole thing typed out


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

the leader kept running and nickering, doing whatever he could to catch up to them. up in the herd, the weakest little foal was looking and looking for the herd leader. eventually, he stopped and got everyones attention. they all turned around to see the herd leader running towards him as fast as possibly could. it was the fastest they had seen him run two or so weeks. his gashed must of healed. he soon caught up to the herd and felt welcomed and loved. he trotted up to the front of the herd to see, dead ahead...a bachelor. now, not everyone might know what is so i will tell you:
a bachelor is a wild stallion which roams around with a group of other bachelors until they find herds of their own. there basically stallions without herds.
the herd leader walked up to the bachelor. the bachelor reared and knocked the leader down. the bachelor reared again and was about to hit the leader. would the leader be harmed?!


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## Cowboy Ken (Oct 28, 2010)

this is suspensful! keep it coming


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

right before the bachelor hit him the leader had his feet up for the bachelor to hit. the bachelor flew back, giving the leader enough time to run. the leader ran to his herd and they all journey to ran of, continuing the journey to the USA. the herd leader had felt like he just won a gold medal


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

okay guys i'll type out the story so far-

There was once a herd of horses who lived in Georgetown, Australia. One day they decided they would travel to the US. They set off as soon as possible. They set off the next day and found it to be harder than they thought. . . but they kept on going. Eventually they came to the ocean. At first they didn't know what to do, until they found a large abandoned raft by the shore. They swam out to the raft and started moving. They enjoyed the wind coming off the sea. After a while a younger one got dizzy and fell off! That had started commotion and another fell! The horses knew they had no chance to get them so they sat there, floating off in misery. After hours of silence they heard a weak nicker from the water. Everyone started to get more alert. Then they heard another and saw the two foals. Eventually the youngsters got to the boat shaking, it took a VERY long time to recover. The youngsters that fell recovered by the time they got to shore. They all enjoyed running again after staying still for two days. They all ran and kicked and went crazy. What first went into their head was...food...so they started looking for food. They had found an orchard in someones backyard. They trotted up and started to eat. Soon the owner of the property came out, grabbed a shovel, and made a large gash in the readers haunches, he was in much pain. He started to drag himself along. At first he didn't think he could make it....The leader kept limping along when he remembered he had two pregnant mares with him. He picked up his pace and tried to stop the herd, but they wouldn't listen, would the mares stop the herd on there own? He didn't expect it because the mares usually didn't speak for themselves. As they kept on traveling, the mares not expecting any special treatment, he gave it to them. They seemed to think he was crazy, didn't they know they were pregnant? Well, he knew it for a fact and continued to pamper them. After a week or so, they started to drag themselves along as well. He knew they'd have to stop...and soon. Suddenly the mares collapsed! Every just saw two mares drop in the middle of India. They were all surprised except for the leader. Did the others know that they were pregnant? He doubted it. They didn't pay attention to the other horses. They were practically solitary horses all in one big bunch. One of the mares started to breathe deeply. Six of the other horses started to wander off due to being impatient. The leader rounded them up and when they got back there were two adorable foals sitting there, struggling to get up. After about 15 minutes the leader stuck his nose up in the air and gave a loud, shrill nicker. In the distance the herd saw a pack of wolfs, just a few miles away. When the wolfs caught sight of the two foals they started pounding toward the herd. The whole herd ran off except the two mares and their foals. The leader turned and gave a loud, worrying nicker. The mares turned around and looked at the leader with a stubborn look than turned back around. Would they give up there own lives just to save there newborn foals? This kept the leader worried. The wolfs continued to run toward the mares. The wolfs were just about to hit the mares when the mares and foals whipped around and started racing toward the herd. The leader gave the mare some sort of 'smile'. The wolfs landed head first but then looked up to see a hoof standing near them. They yelped and ran off. They leader turned around to see his herd running off. Would he catch up to them? The leader kept running and nickering, doing whatever he could to catch up to them. Up in the herd, the weakest little foal was looking for the leader. Eventually, he stopped and got everyones attention. They all turned around to see the herd leader running towards him as fast as possibly could. It was the fastest they had seen him run two or so weeks. His gash must of healed. He soon caught up to the herd and felt welcomed and loved. He trotted up to the front of the herd to see, dead ahead...a bachelor. The herd leader walked up to the bachelor. The bachelor reared and knocked the leader down. The bachelor reared again and was about to hit the leader. Would the leader be harmed?! Right before the bachelor hit him, the leader had his feet up for the bachelor to hit. The bachelor flew back, giving the leader enough time to run. The leader ran to his herd and they turned to run off, continuing the journey to the USA. The herd leader had felt like he just won a gold medal.

there will be more to come, there were a few little changes here and there, but the story line is the same


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## LoveStory10 (Oct 31, 2009)

You're only eight? I'm 16 and I can't write like that... You are VERY goodfor you're age. A few more years and you'll be amazing!


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## hflmusicislife (Dec 15, 2010)

LoveStory, that is EXACTLY what I was thinking. I've seen some of lildonkey's posts before, and when I read this I was shocked that she's 8!!! I'm 14 and like you, I don't think I could write like that! Lildonkey, I believe you are the most mature 8 year old I have ever met.


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## PintoTess (Aug 18, 2010)

pretty damm good  Keep it up lildonkey!!


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## Katesrider011 (Oct 29, 2010)

Really good for your age lildonkey. And like hflmusicislife said, you are very mature for your age. Be proud


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

Katesrider011 said:


> Really good for your age lildonkey. And like hflmusicislife said, you are very mature for your age. Be proud


thanks kates that means a lot


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## PintoTess (Aug 18, 2010)

I think you are very mature as well  I think that is why I like talking to you lol.


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

PintoTess said:


> I think you are very mature as well  I think that is why I like talking to you lol.


haha thanx


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