# Deathly Nervous About Riding Again-Plus Size Rider



## morgiee811 (Dec 31, 2014)

Hello All!

I am extremely nervous about getting back in the saddle, and would love some advice and reassurance!

Here is the situation:

-I have had no horrible falls.
-Just started working at a small backyard barn in trade for board (looking for a horse).
-Owner wants me to ride a couple of her horses.
-Havent been riding in about three years.
-Had been riding for about 6 years before then.
-Much experience with "naughty" horses.
-Always ridden in nice facilities, and am quite nervous about the change to the backyard barn where there is no set place to ride in the winter (I am in New England, so much snow). This is absolutely no insult to those of you with backyard barns. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it! I just dont know about the ice ect around the barn.
-Quite out of shape.
-I Found exactly the horse for me, though needs work (makes me nervous only because I havent been riding in quite some time.)
-I am worried about completely embarrassing myself in front of the owner, though she is younger (like myself) and rather friendly.

Some Questions:

What are some exercises you do to stay fit?
Anyone have any ideas of ways to strengthen your back? (I have some back problems).
Anyone have any exercises to help with anxiety and stress? I do have diagnosed Anxiety , which will not help my situation at all. I know standard breathing exercises etc, but any other techniques would be great!

Thank you all so much! Anything at all helps a load. 
~Morgan


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

if I am scared, riding an unknown horse is the worst thing to do. I want to ride a horse that i KNOW, and more or less know how they'll react.

at the very least, if you plan to rider her horses, have her ride them first and show you how they work/go.


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## loveduffy (Dec 22, 2011)

Just take your time you will know when you are ready and you will be better for working on the ground with the horses I worked at a barn 3 yrs before I got on to ride


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## piglet (Oct 2, 2012)

Strengthen your stomach/abdominal muscles. These muscles support your back. If they are not strong, your back works too hard.
Breathing does help anxiety. Also mental imaging- have a strong idea of a soothing place, compltete with sounds and smells.
Plan for success - imagine how a good ride should go, focus on the steps to make it real.
Ever heard of cognitive behavior therapy?


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## george the mule (Dec 7, 2014)

Morgie, there is just too much here for a forum post; I'll be brief:

One, set yourself up with some high-quality protective gear; a top-of-the-line helmet, good field boots, and a high quality vest. I really, _really_ like my "HitAir" inflatable vest, and can personally testify that it works. This will all add to your confidence level.

Two, learn relaxation techniques, meditation is great, but even simple breathing exercises will help tremendously.

Three (and it goes along with #2), learn visualization techniques. Some may laugh, but top performers everywhere, in widely diverse disciplines, use the process religiously. 'Cause it works.

Four, have a drink or two.

No matter what you do, _do not_ climb on until you are feeling relaxed and confident. A horse can read your mental state (believe it), and if you are nervous, Mr. Horse will be nervous as well; a Bad Situation.

I would suggest finding/riding a really bombproof senior horse to give your confidence a boost. Start out real easy, with quiet walks around the neighborhood, away from The Herd if at all possible.

Worry about ice, snow, and other footing concerns; you don't need additional distractions at this point. If you can't find an indoor arena or the like, I would stick with grooming, petting, and general "hangin' out" until the snow goes.

Hope this is helpful. Have fun! ByeBye! Steve


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## mslady254 (May 21, 2013)

If you have the freedom to do this, it is very helpful. Use a mounting block, even if you are able to mount from the ground. Stand the horse in a good position at the block. (this requires a horse that will stand patiently at the mounting block) 
At first just stand there with you on the block beside the horse. Pet him, talk out loud to him. Breathe. Don't even think about getting on.
Now, it's up to you to decide how fast, or slow you need this process to go. So, next step , once you're very relaxed with step 1, is to lean against the horse as you pet and talk, again,,don't even think about getting on,it's not allowed yet.
Next, advance to leaning a bit over his back and pet the far side of him, pet his rump. Don't even think about getting on. You're not allowed yet--have this mindset, it will make all the difference in your level of relaxation.
Next, really lean over him with a lot of your weight on him, but able to stand back up on the block if need be, and well,,you know the drill--DONT get on.

You get the picture, take baby steps up to the point of actually swinging a leg over. Take it in several sessions if that's what you need. If at any step you feel anxious, go back a step.

Once you do actually mount. Immediately dismount. Breathe. You lived! Continue to progress s l o w l y. 
Before you actually mount, you will (honest) get to the point that you WANT to get on with no anxiety in the equation any more. 
Once you mount, and stay mounted...go NOWHERE. sit there for a while, dismount.
Same process for adding in movement-take it slow, don't push yourself too far out of your comfort zone,,and in that way your comfort zone will get bigger and bigger. If you blow yourself up, it won't help anything.

I highly recommend Stephanie Burn's book--Move closer ,stay longer. Excellent, and applicable to life in general, not just riding/horses.

The above worked wonders for me.

Good luck!Have fun!!
Fay


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## mslady254 (May 21, 2013)

Oh yeah...regarding fitness. A lot of people will probably disagree with me, but I think the need for core strength and fitness (as in reallly fit-work at it to be fit) is way over-rated for riding. Not putting it down! don't misunderstand, I'm for it (though I'm not esp. fit), I just don't think its NECESSARY to ride well. 
If you are reasonably fit and have regular strength, imho, you are fine. You say you have back issues, so that might be something of an issue, depends on what the 'issues' are.
I don't have much core strength, not even sure if I could do a sit-up (havent tried in ....forever...) and it's not a problem. I am healthy and active. I attended a clinic with Colleen Kelley who shows in dressage and does well, rides like a dream, I mean you should see this lady ride--wow...and she has had major breast surgeries with reconstruction using some of the abdominal muscles to reconstruct, so ???? core strength. She says herself-look at me-not fit,no core strength, and I ride fine,,,and by George, she does! Maybe balance has more impact than strength.. ? 
If you can hold yourself upright, walk and function normally in every day activities, then I think riding shouldnt be a problem. Again, lots of ppl will strongly disagree and advise excercises, yoga, etc. so..take it with a grain of salt, and as just my opinion.

Fay


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## Corporal (Jul 29, 2010)

When in doubt of the footing I always walk it first before I ride it. If I slip, I imagine my horse slipping and falling on me, so I don't ride on it.
You sound too nervous to be riding right now. I, too, believe that you should always be riding a horse that you know and trust, a been there/done that horse.
I had a student who was positive that she would fall off if she trotted. After one month of hour long lessons, she did, indeed, fall off of my lesson horse the first time she trotted.
You will do the same if:
--you ride a horse that isn't finished and safe for a beginner
--you continue to tell yourself you will fall


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## bkylem (Sep 21, 2013)

tinyliny said:


> if I am scared, riding an unknown horse is the worst thing to do. I want to ride a horse that i KNOW, and more or less know how they'll react.
> 
> at the very least, if you plan to rider her horses, have her ride them first and show you how they work/go.


I totally agree with Tiny in that the proper horse will be the key to your confidence. You essentially need a "bomb proof" beginner to start with ( and possibly stay with). You have to communicate your goals clearly to the instructor and that you want to start essentially from scratch. You simply want to ride and very slowly build a strong foundation before you move forward. Pay little attention to the other riders and do not set a time limit to achieve your goals.
This is for you, so take it slow and enjoy it.

Welcome back !


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## Yogiwick (Sep 30, 2013)

It sounds like you aren't ready to be horse shopping..


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

Nothing will get your confidence back like lessons with a good instructor.

Question: have you always been plus sized? I ask because I'm also an adult rerider, and when I was younger and rode I was not plus sized. It was very different when I started riding again as a plus sized rider. I cursed my body because I did not feel athletic or quick enough. It added to my fear. My trainer helped with those and other feelings and paired me up with horses that were perfect for me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Walkamile (Dec 29, 2008)

Corporal said:


> When in doubt of the footing I always walk it first before I ride it. If I slip, I imagine my horse slipping and falling on me, so I don't ride on it.
> You sound too nervous to be riding right now. I, too, believe that you should always be riding a horse that you know and trust, a been there/done that horse.
> I had a student who was positive that she would fall off if she trotted. After one month of hour long lessons, she did, indeed, fall off of my lesson horse the first time she trotted.
> You will do the same if:
> ...


*

*This is what visualization will do for you.....use it for positive results or like Corporal stated, you will fall. The brain is a powerful organ!

When starting Walka I was careless one day and without going into details was injured quite seriously. After 10 weeks recouping, when I went to get on him I was a basket case. 

It took many slow and steady sessions of ground work and very short but positive rides along with hours of visualizing the results I wanted with each ride to get past the fear. 

Every once in a while I still have a few gut clenching moments (mostly due to my brain and letting fear creep in, not because of Walka's doing), but quickly get my head back where it needs to be. My body knows what to to, I just have to get my brain out of the way sometimes! LOL!


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## george the mule (Dec 7, 2014)

Walkamile said:


> [/B]This is what visualization will do for you.....use it for positive results or like Corporal stated, you will fall. The brain is a powerful organ!
> 
> When starting Walka I was careless one day and without going into details was injured quite seriously. After 10 weeks recouping, when I went to get on him I was a basket case.
> 
> ...


Hi Walkamile, All!

Moving fear, pain, distracting emotions out of the way. Yet another mental technique, trick if you prefer, but it works, can be learned, and improves with practice.

Some of you may already know this one as "Lamaze".

How did "The Sorting Hat" put it? "It's all there. In your head." 

ByeBye! Steve


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