# Should I step up and say something?



## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Sue is overstepping her boundaries. You and your parents should absolutely say something because she may promise something in your behalf. She might be coming from a good place but she doesn't belong with the sales contract at all. I would contact the seller and request another copy and make it clear that Sue has nothing to do with the sale.

I would also find a different place to board. If she's already overbearing and rude it won't get better.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rainbows (Mar 31, 2014)

DancingArabian said:


> Sue is overstepping her boundaries. You and your parents should absolutely say something because she may promise something in your behalf. She might be coming from a good place but she doesn't belong with the sales contract at all. I would contact the seller and request another copy and make it clear that Sue has nothing to do with the sale.
> 
> I would also find a different place to board. If she's already overbearing and rude it won't get better.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I'm getting a copy of the contract. I love the barn truly and it is only for a year before I move. I have been at to public barns and the BO normally just asks to look at the shots he's had. (Normally coggins, rabies, tetanus) and sometimes to see the contract. But I do find it overstepping the boundaries. Sue was actually the one that asked for the contract. It almost gives me the feeling Sue doesn't even want me having a horse.


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## Chevaux (Jun 27, 2012)

I wonder if your mom asked your friend to look at the contract before your parent(s) signed it? If that was the case, then your mom probably should have told you she was having that done. Also, even though you are a minor, you should be reading the contract as well (it's a learning experience if nothing else).

I wonder if your friend's mom went to look at the horse to establish personality, health, etc., to see how it might fit in with the new herd. Again, it was something that should probably have been communicated to you or your family.

The only way to handle this, in my view, is to outright speak to both of them about your concerns. I know this can be daunting but if you don't speak up, you don't establish yourself in the pecking order and your concerns/thoughts in the future will likely continue to be ignored or dismissed. 

From what I've seen from other posts in this forum, it frequently is a less than ideal situation when you've got a family horse as well as it being boarded. Before the final commitment is made, if you haven't already, speak frankly with your parent(s) to find out what their thoughts are on the horse -- you may be going in thinking its your horse under your control and they may be going into thinking its a shared horse for both family and friends to use.

I hope this will all work out for you and you'll be able to ride in peace and quiet. Let us know how it works out.


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## Rainbows (Mar 31, 2014)

Chevaux said:


> I wonder if your mom asked your friend to look at the contract before your parent(s) signed it? If that was the case, then your mom probably should have told you she was having that done. Also, even though you are a minor, you should be reading the contract as well (it's a learning experience if nothing else).
> 
> I wonder if your friend's mom went to look at the horse to establish personality, health, etc., to see how it might fit in with the new herd. Again, it was something that should probably have been communicated to you or your family.
> 
> ...


My dad want's nothing to do with horses (Not a fan of them) so it is just me and my mom. This horse is my personal horse. My mom does not really speak to Sue unless Sue contacts her. My mom was surprised when I told her that she went to see my horse without telling us. My horse will not be in their herd. I will be talking to the BO and the owner of the horse right now. I am a bit on the uneasy side but my mom is making a contract for the BO so me and my horse can be protected. My mom is a businesswoman.


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## Luvs Horses (Jan 9, 2014)

Glad that you told your mom. Make sure your mom is aware of any sneaky stuff Sue does. I am with the other poster in that she should not be making decisions in your behalf on the sale as she is not the one buying this horse.

Friends and business do not mix. If the business end goes sour friendships get lost. I know this from experience. Sue may think she is helping but it may be best to look for a more neutral place to board where you and your mom's decisions are respected more.

Hope everything smooths out for you and congrats on your new horse.


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## Chasin Ponies (Dec 25, 2013)

Have you talked to your mom about how you feel about this? If she agrees with you, she needs to get completely involved in the communications as the purchase and any agreements will be through her and the other adults in this situation.

As a minor and especially as this involves "friends" you should probably leave it for the adults to sort out. They won't listen to you anyway.

As another poster said, this is the way friendships get broken. Mixing business with friendship only works if everyone knows the rules and follow them religiously. Most of the time that doesn't happen in real life!


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

First-this is not "your horse" until it is paid for, and it does not sound like that has happened. Have you left a deposit on the horse? Arranged for your PPE? If you have no deposit, frankly ANYONE can go look at the horse without asking you. Also keep in mind that you, as a minor, cannot legally sign the contract anyway.

I do think in an effort to work together, Sue should have said something, but she didn't. I think you should ask your mom to talk to her and ask her why she has the contract…..and yes, I would board somewhere else.

As far as the grain-ask what the horse has been getting and I try and stick with that in the beginning at least to transition smoothly. What your friend found in there "grain" is a not a reason to never feed a horse "grain" (I am meaning pelleted feed here, as I would never feed actual "grain" either). If you use good feed from a reliable source and store it properly, you should not have an issue.


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## Cielo Notturno (Sep 12, 2013)

I wouldn't like the situation at all. Both the seller and the BO are acting like the BO is the one who'll own the horse and not you/your mom. 

The BO is overstepping her boundaries, and the seller is disregarding you as if you weren't the one who will pay. 

You can tolerate the seller behavior, as when the horse will be paid for, she won't have anything to do with him anymore, and until the horse is still hers, she can let anyone she likes see him- anyway showing a third person the contract is extremely rude and it should be addressed.

You cannot tolerate the BO's, because this shows that she thinks she can and will do whatever she likes with this horse. She'll likely feed him what _she_ wants, and so on with a endless things that you might not approve of, possibly including riding the horse or using him for lessons when you're not around. 
Yes, maybe it's soon to jump to conclusions, but if she acts like this before the horse is even been bought, good chances are that she's the one who'll really own him.

It's just wrong to buy a horse, pay for his care, and have someone else thinking they will benefit from it. Nope. Look for another barn as soon as possible. Things just promise to go from bad to worse.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

If the horse is not paid for it is entirely possible she is buying the horse…..perhaps that is why she has the contract. Money talks, and the first one here with the $$ gets the horse. Period.


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## Cielo Notturno (Sep 12, 2013)

franknbeans said:


> If the horse is not paid for it is entirely possible she is buying the horse…..perhaps that is why she has the contract. Money talks, and the first one here with the $$ gets the horse. Period.


If the BO is buying the horse (which is possible, yes) both her and the seller should have the decency to tell the OP, so she can look for another horse to buy.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Agreed. But, horse people sometimes deserve their bad reputation, unfortunately.


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## Rainbows (Mar 31, 2014)

I did pay for this horse. But I am doing a lease before I buy because of past experiences. The BO is a older lady and I've known her for a couple years now. I spoke to my mentor and me and her both came up with a 3 page long contract that Sue will not be seeing and if she does, she can not edit it or make changes to it since it is between the seller than the buyer. I do have the boarding contract for my mom to sign and I'm adding things that the horse is not the BO's responsibility and can not feed, ride or work the horse anything without approval from the lessee. My mentor is putting some strong rules to the contract to protect me and my mom from having the BO boss us around. When I do board the horse there and if something comes up I will be talking to her with my mother.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

I would suggest you have another place lined up to board, as the BO may just not agree to all of your "terms". Especially that she cannot feed your horse. Keep in mind the horse is on her property, and in the eyes of the law (cruelty wise) she is responsible. I think you are being a little demanding and if I were her-you would not be keeping your horse at my place. JMHO.


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## countrylove (Oct 18, 2012)

I'm wondering if the BO only wanted the contract to see if she was liable for anything. Personally I would not board a leased horse without first seeing the lease agreement. Her property therefore she's the one liable in the end.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shosadlbrd (Nov 3, 2013)

countrylove said:


> I'm wondering if the BO only wanted the contract to see if she was liable for anything. Personally I would not board a leased horse without first seeing the lease agreement. Her property therefore she's the one liable in the end.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is a very valid point.


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## countrylove (Oct 18, 2012)

Working at the rescue we had a lot of liabilities issues so I've personally looked into equine liability laws among other equine related laws and some states are pretty bad in that the property owner is responsible no matter what the case is. As a property owner its better safe than sorry. As far as the legal owner of this horse I'd personally want to know the BO where my legal responsibility is being kept. And it is 110% the owners right to talk to the BO without the OP being concerned or notified. Until the OP BUYS this horse it isn't her business what the OWNER and BO do with the horse (with the exception of violating the lease agreement assuming it is signed by a legal adult guardian). That's just my opinion...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rainbows (Mar 31, 2014)

franknbeans said:


> I would suggest you have another place lined up to board, as the BO may just not agree to all of your "terms". Especially that she cannot feed your horse. Keep in mind the horse is on her property, and in the eyes of the law (cruelty wise) she is responsible. I think you are being a little demanding and if I were her-you would not be keeping your horse at my place. JMHO.


A part of the feed part got cut off, I was on mobile. Feed my horse anything that hasn't been approved. For example they give their horses ginger snaps and she wanted to give one to my horse but doesn't have permission to. < just a example. My mentor thought it was a good idea to put that in. 

Also on the contract that she saw she was not liable for anything. But she is to tell the lessee the dangers on the property (Woodchuck holes, hidden barbwire ect) so no accidents do happen. I just do not understand why the BO would end up with the contract without it being sent to us first. I can understand she wants to see it but not be the first one to see it and add onto it. Hopefully she can agree to this 6 page one. Also this is a lease contract, there is to do with the boarding place. But yet again it can fall under those rules. Not sure. I'm a bit tired


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

When I say your BO is liable, she is LEGALLY liable for that horse on her property in most states, no matter what you have her sign. ESPECIALLY with a lease horse. THis changes things tremendously, IMO, and to me it makes perfect sense that the owner and the BO communicate. I have also never seen it written that the BO is responsible for notifying you of dangers on the property. There is no way many BO's can know or state everything you and/or your horse could possibly get hurt on. That is just not realistic unless you want her to patrol the property every day. Groundhogs make holes all the time. I would suggest you not go loping through fields. My BO puts orange flags in any holes she finds when she mows, but there is an inherent risk that you take. Remember-some horses need bubble wrap.


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## Rainbows (Mar 31, 2014)

franknbeans said:


> When I say your BO is liable, she is LEGALLY liable for that horse on her property in most states, no matter what you have her sign. ESPECIALLY with a lease horse. THis changes things tremendously, IMO, and to me it makes perfect sense that the owner and the BO communicate. I have also never seen it written that the BO is responsible for notifying you of dangers on the property. There is no way many BO's can know or state everything you and/or your horse could possibly get hurt on. That is just not realistic unless you want her to patrol the property every day. Groundhogs make holes all the time. I would suggest you not go loping through fields. My BO puts orange flags in any holes she finds when she mows, but there is an inherent risk that you take. Remember-some horses need bubble wrap.


That makes total sense. It would be good though for a heads up if there was groundhogs in the area so I can in fact watch out for holes and such. 
I guess you all can see the contract if you'd like. It's 6 pages long.


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