# anybody else has this problem ?



## Frankiee (Jun 28, 2010)

hey guys !

So just wondering if anyone else have parents who dont get the horse thing ?! I dont own a horse I lease one for free because I work it off and my lessons are not expensive. But there always complaining !!!! They say I spen my money on only horse stuff and not for me I purchased safety stirrups and a new IRH helmet in the last 2 mounth and yes hopefuly I want to buy a eventing vest next mounth because I need one before may. but its my own money and that stuff is good for life so I dont get it! Plus they say I'm never home!! But even then they dont have to drive me to my barn cause my coach even comes to get me! So why do they have to find more thing's to complain about anyone else have this problem what did you do ??

thanks


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Did it ever occur to you that maybe they'd like you to spend some of your time with _them_? They are your parents, after all.

I don't have that problem, as I've been an adult a long time. But no, my family has never understood the whole 'horse thing', so don't expect yours to ever change.


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## Frankiee (Jun 28, 2010)

I understand that completly but we spend every weekend at camp together were a very close family.


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## RockandRide (Jan 23, 2011)

My family has the same problem. They dont get what I see in horses and dont really care about any accomplishments I make in riding. I have to pay for all my horse stuff myself, and will only pay for one lesson a week and will only drive me there for that much. If I want to help out, I need to carpool! Luckily, my dad is trying to get into the whole thing and be supportive and he is really helping out. I am starting to help out more at the barn and he is willing to get me a subscription to my horse magazine. He will let me become a groom too!

Maybe like ^^^^ said, they want to spen more time with you. Tell them that horses are your thing and you would really like it if they rode with you one day. Take them on a trail ride or soemthing. Show them what fun horses can be.

You could try and be upfront by openly asking them why they dont like horses. they will usually have a good reason, and try and make a comprimise with it.

It usually wont change. My mom is like that and I dont think it will change. But they are really open to what I want to do


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## Frankiee (Jun 28, 2010)

I did convinced them to go trail riding with me once and they enjoyed themsleves  they dont mind that I ride.. they just say that they want my riding to stay at 1 a week but if I want to improve I have to ride a little more then that. Sometimes there finee then other they blow up on me. Its hard!


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## Lovehorsesandrunning (Nov 10, 2009)

OH MY GOODNESS i know.. exactly what you are saying. I don't get it at all! and my mom even had a few horses when she was younger, i guess it just wasnt a click or good match or something. More or less i knowwhat your saying, i beggged my parents for lessons since i knew what a horse was and i finnaly got them in third grade., but unfortunatly the barn forclosed and my arents refused to pay for anotherr stable come sixth grade. Then finnaly towards the end of sixth grade i luckily found a friend with horses! Then ive been riding her Paso Fino Artie my love... since... a week ago. Someone offered a lease on Artie but i got first dibs i guess you could say. Then my parents made a terrible decision, and i can't lease him. so i cant ride. they obviously dont get how much Artie, or riding/ horses in general means to me


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## ErikaLynn (Aug 3, 2010)

Your parents sounds like my mom....she gets the horse stuff, but I think my mom just likes to complain about something.


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## Frankiee (Jun 28, 2010)

Lovehorsesandrunning said:


> OH MY GOODNESS i know.. exactly what you are saying. I don't get it at all! and my mom even had a few horses when she was younger, i guess it just wasnt a click or good match or something. More or less i knowwhat your saying, i beggged my parents for lessons since i knew what a horse was and i finnaly got them in third grade., but unfortunatly the barn forclosed and my arents refused to pay for anotherr stable come sixth grade. Then finnaly towards the end of sixth grade i luckily found a friend with horses! Then ive been riding her Paso Fino Artie my love... since... a week ago. Someone offered a lease on Artie but i got first dibs i guess you could say. Then my parents made a terrible decision, and i can't lease him. so i cant ride. they obviously dont get how much Artie, or riding/ horses in general means to me


that really sucks!!! I hope it works out for you! no human being should be forced to stop riding ! 

and omg yes !! and some days there all good with it then the other they think its a waste of time and money ! what's up with that !?


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## RockandRide (Jan 23, 2011)

My parents are like that as well. Some days they are all happy to drive me to the barn, and get me horse stuff. Other days they just get mad.


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## Palomino Brigade (Mar 20, 2011)

Ugh. My dad used to work at his dad's racing stable in California, and he bought Ray for me and all, but doesn't care about how high I got him to jump or what cool tricks I taught him. My mom never has been a horse person... especially since that time when she was little and her brother's horse pulled their porch across their yard...  But I feel like the only people who care to help me, etc. are my 2 neighbors. One used to be a riding instructor, but retired, and one used to show in some major eventing classes with her polish arabs, but they all retired. That's where I got my old tack set and the dream of jumping. And that's where my 'arena' is. (Fenced in and flat pasture. That's it.) 
 Good luck getting them to see your side.


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## Frankiee (Jun 28, 2010)

Palomino Brigade said:


> Ugh. My dad used to work at his dad's racing stable in California, and he bought Ray for me and all, but doesn't care about how high I got him to jump or what cool tricks I taught him. My mom never has been a horse person... especially since that time when she was little and her brother's horse pulled their porch across their yard...  But I feel like the only people who care to help me, etc. are my 2 neighbors. One used to be a riding instructor, but retired, and one used to show in some major eventing classes with her polish arabs, but they all retired. That's where I got my old tack set and the dream of jumping. And that's where my 'arena' is. (Fenced in and flat pasture. That's it.)
> Good luck getting them to see your side.


haha thanks! you 2 !! 
It's weird parents tell you to follow your dream and all that suff and not let anyone take it away but somtimes it feels like they are and the worst part if they really want to they can :S


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## breezy17 (Mar 21, 2011)

I feel you! I'm 19 and in college, but I commute from home, and I hear it all the time. My mother just thinks of a million reasons why I shouldn't do it (expenses, dangers, etc) but I don't care  Really, I don't mind her not being too involved (she's the sort of person who's never been on a horse but will still criticize) as long as I still get to ride!


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## Sarahandlola (Dec 16, 2010)

Same with me really =/ Some days my mother is all like 'Oh I should come out and see Lola sometime, I have not seen her in ages!' 

Next day..'You are out there way to much! I am getting rid of that horse! I should not have bought it at all!'

Lol it is very annoying but when she acts like that I get really stubborn and stay out longer =/


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## SAsamone (Nov 5, 2009)

I suppose I'm very lucky. My parents aren't horse people, but they try their best to see things from my perspective. I never had a horse and was told I never would. They would pay for riding lessons when they could afford it, and I would work for neighbors until my 15th christmas when my Dad's friend convinced them and they got me my Samone. We boarded her with that friend at their house for a year, until we brought her home. We weren't going to get another one, but Sam wouldn't stop pacing and being ancy...now we have 3 lol!! My parents aren't like I said "horse people" but my dad will ride once in a while. My mom is terrified to ride do to an accident on one she had in the mountains- she'll feed them though and stuff if i'm not home. But I never stop hearing the nagging about how dangerous it is, and I should be careful and such....luckily they trust me more now since they've seen me on bucking horses and everthing else and know I can hold my own. And I also never stop hearing about how expensive it is...I usually pay for all my own feed and such, but with no regular job, sometimes I come up short and they have to help. My mom doesn't care, but my dad is a penny pincher lol. Gotta love them!


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## Ali M (Mar 28, 2011)

Careful, if you choose a career/education in horses it gets WAY worse lol. My mom was scraped off by a few barn sour horses, and my dad just doesn't care. It was like pulling teeth to get them to even come to my first show! I rode for four years in high school and then decided to go to college for Equine Science, and BOY did I hear about it for months and months. The only reason they 'let' me go to school for it was if I got a business minor as something to fall back on 'in case it doesn't work out.' I'm now graduating this may, but my mom called me just last week to say that my cousin could get me a job in agriculture business and that I could just 'own horses on the side.' Uhh....kind of too late for that I think! haha. Since I'm paying my own way through school, I decided to thank them for their advice, but do what I wanted!  Just keep following their passion, even if they don't get it (and maybe they never will) they'll see how happy it makes you and accept it someday.


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

I'm not a young person by any means but I can still relate. Parents should be happy their kids are into horses, there's so many other things they could be doing, like boys, drugs, sneaky stuff.
Horses teach so much. Independence, empathy, teamwork, compassion, goal setting, accepting failure with a positve 'try again' attitude, prioritizing, time & money management, trouble shooting & yes, sadly, dealing with loss. Proably many other things also, things you won't learn hanging out with friends at a mall.
Parents don't have to share the passion but they should understand it is a passion very important to their children that most likely will be with them for life.

My boyfriends mother was approaching her 90's & had ridden Saddlebreds as a young girl. She gave it up to raise her family. She had no regrets about that but always talked about those riding times. One day we literally hoisted her on a horse, replaced hips & all. I warned her that her hips may give out & she could end up in an ambulance. She said "That's OK, I'll smile all the way to the hospital." 
She picked up the reins & after a few unsteady steps the 70 +years since she had last been on a horse were washed away. She said she felt young, strong & whole again.
Later we gave her a buggy ride pulled by a Saddlebred. To the day she passed on she talked about those rides.
The passion never dies.

Sorry about the long post.


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## Jessskater (Mar 16, 2011)

I have never had that problem. They know I have been waiting to get a horse for 10 years. They are always happy when I spend more that 1 hour or more with my ponies. If I don't, they actually get mad at me lol.


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## Horsesdontlie (Mar 11, 2011)

I have a mom thats trying to get me to get rid of mine right now. I see her point as I am a college student and money is a little tight for me, but I can afford it and getting 'rid' of him isn't an option even if I wanted to. I spend too much time with the horses, he'll make my grades drop, too much of a hassle......it goes on.

My dad supports it, as he got me into lessons and got me my horses. But sense he is roughly 800 miles away I hear a lot more from my mom.


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## pep (Mar 30, 2011)

i tottaly understand how you feel! maybe your parents are concerned that u willl get hurt though-i know mine get worried sometimes. yes they let me ride and get me the gear i need but my mom always says im not getting anywhere which im not because u cant jump high on school horses. and she just doesnt understand that i need a horse of my own- ive found one for a price that we can afford and a barn that we can afford. try talk to ur parents and ask why they dont support and help you.


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

Horsesdontlie said:


> I have a mom thats trying to get me to get rid of mine right now. I see her point as I am a college student and money is a little tight for me, but I can afford it and getting 'rid' of him isn't an option even if I wanted to. I spend too much time with the horses, he'll make my grades drop, too much of a hassle......it goes on.
> 
> My dad supports it, as he got me into lessons and got me my horses. But sense he is roughly 800 miles away I hear a lot more from my mom.


Tell your Mom you don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering what happened to your horse. I see so many ads selling a horse because someone is going to college & some ads for people trying to find a horse they had to let go. So sad.
I'm boarding a horse here for a young person who went to college. I don't charge her & I pay all his expenses. She would have been heart broken to let him go. Her peace of mind is important to me & I'm not her Mother.


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## HopalongCassidy (Dec 19, 2010)

Well i'm one of the luckies. My mom know how much my horse means to me. She encourages me to lose weight and do good in school so i can go ride. One day i was checking my horse and found a big bump under his chest. I started crying and my moms like it's nothing don't worry about it your dad will take care of him. He did. My mom supports me 110% I've had the horse almost fall on me and she still lets me ride. She gets scared sometime but she is my number one fan! My step dad was raise around horses all his life. He rode 362 acres everyday. He helped me learn to ride. (Well not exactly he threw me on the horse and told me i can do it) But he helped me learn to barrel race and take care of my horse train them and he'll help me brake one of our horses. I work for what i get. I help my step dad at work sometimes and they'll leave me a list to do and i'll do it. I do buy some stuff. But if its anything like food or any medication they get it.


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## Snowkicker (Dec 23, 2009)

My parents are non animal people entirely. My mom even refused to pet a tiny beagle puppy with big brown eyes. I was twenty five and living on my own when I got my first horses. My folks make many comments about how it would be easier if I didn't have my farm. I love it and it is my dream. I'm now thirty five and training to be a NARAH instructor. My mom proudly puts it on her Christmas letter. She still won't touch a horse. I did get her to take a walk with me and my goats last summer. I had to give her a good meal and a glass of wine first. She akwardly tried to avoid them and didn't pet them, but at least she walked with me. I know they won't ever really get it but I love them and they are my parents.


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## SAsamone (Nov 5, 2009)

natisha said:


> Tell your Mom you don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering what happened to your horse. I see so many ads selling a horse because someone is going to college & some ads for people trying to find a horse they had to let go. So sad.
> I'm boarding a horse here for a young person who went to college. I don't charge her & I pay all his expenses. She would have been heart broken to let him go. Her peace of mind is important to me & I'm not her Mother.


I would like to thank you for doing such a wonderful thing! People like you change people's lives 

And to the post above ^^ Good for you! That's what I want to do...own a ranch some day, but everyone keeps knocking me down, telling me how expensive they are...even now, my parents, and even my boyfriend get after me because they say that's all I spend my money on is my horses...they don't understand that they are worth the investment to me. If my money didn't go to them what would I do with it? Buy an atv...maybe save it up to buy a house someday? I don't know! Sure it would be nice to have extra cash, but I'm happy where I'm at, and isn't that what matters? I swear, sometimes people don't think you have a brain and always have to throw their 2 cents at you...


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## Frankiee (Jun 28, 2010)

no kidding right for some reason or an other poeple think were completly mad to spend money on a horses and things for horses like a ranch !!! But we will show them lol


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## Cinder (Feb 20, 2011)

I TOTALLY get what you guys are saying!

My parents are sort of on the middle road. My Dad pays for most of my lessons and he drives me every other week (I've been trying to get it to every week, but he still acts like I'm crazy/crazy selfish whenever I bring it up lol). He helps me tack up and untack my lesson horse and is starting to get a bit of horse saviness.

BUT he still INSISTS that riding is easy! Even though he's seen horses give me hell just TACKING THEM UP! I don't know what I have to do to convince him! I've also been hinting that he should ride but he just laughs and gets a bit nervous lol. Not so easy when it's YOU who has the chance of getting bossed around by a horse now huh :lol:. 

My father also videotapes me and promises to COMPLETELY videotape my lessons during the summer. We shall see lol.

My mother is enthusiastic about it and went to my lesson last week and fed the horses. She really enjoyed it. 

Overall I feel that they are really starting to get how much I love horses and are getting more enthusiastic about it themselves. BUT I do feel that they still think it takes no effort and it's so DIRTY and blah blah blah and I could be doing so much better things I guess. 

For those who've managed to convince their non-horsey parents that riding isn't easy please tell me how!


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## ridelikeagirl208 (Mar 22, 2011)

I have the SAME problem!! Im the onle one who rides in my famliy. I have a cousin but she has her own family she has to take care of!!! Its very frustrating and hard to go out beyond my own place to ride because parents just say "you dont need to go anywhere just ride here!!!" I can't wait tell i get my lineses(i dont know how to spell) . And then you hear people say "oh i had so much fun camping this weekend!! " I get pretty jealous!!! I guess I will just have to go with friends as I get older!!!


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## Frankiee (Jun 28, 2010)

ya same here after i get my liscense im so gone lol and ill always be at the farm with my Chase lol


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## Cinder (Feb 20, 2011)

I think it's safe to say that once I get my license I will be living at my barn :lol:


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## Alwaysbehind (Jul 10, 2009)

My parents have never been into the horse thing either. I have had my one horse for 8 years and they still do not remember his name.


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## Frankiee (Jun 28, 2010)

ya same cant wait to be able to drive going for my cource soon


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## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

Lovehorsesandrunning said:


> OH MY GOODNESS i know.. exactly what you are saying. I don't get it at all! and my mom even had a few horses when she was younger, i guess it just wasnt a click or good match or something. More or less i knowwhat your saying, i beggged my parents for lessons since i knew what a horse was and i finnaly got them in third grade., but unfortunatly the barn forclosed and my arents refused to pay for anotherr stable come sixth grade. Then finnaly towards the end of sixth grade i luckily found a friend with horses! Then ive been riding her Paso Fino Artie my love... since... a week ago. Someone offered a lease on Artie but i got first dibs i guess you could say. Then my parents made a terrible decision, and i can't lease him. so i cant ride. they obviously dont get how much Artie, or riding/ horses in general means to me


 I wish your parents let you lease him :-(. We had so much fun last summer!


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