# Riding instructor won't listen to me



## Hannah1996 (Mar 14, 2015)

I've been with my riding instructor for over four years and she's great nd all but lately I've been getting annoyed with her. It's been beautiful outside for the last few weeks and I keep asking her if we can go on a trail ride. She keeps saying she'll think about it or next time we'll go, but each time, she decides not to take me on a trail ride. Im paying 60 dollars for an hour lesson and I feel that if I want to go on a trail ride I should be able to. I've been asking for a trail ride for six weeks now and I feel like at this point I just want to say "next week I want you to take me on a trail ride" does that sound mean? I'm paying money for a lesson shouldn't I be able to have a say in what we do during that lesson? I don't know what to do because I don't want her to be mad at me but I also don't want to waste my money on a lesson doing something I don't want to do.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

ask her if there is a reason she has continued to decide against it. is she concerned about your skill level out there? or ?


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## Hannah1996 (Mar 14, 2015)

Before winter I was going on trail rides and I have been for the four years I've been with her, so it's not that :/


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## Reiningcatsanddogs (Oct 9, 2014)

There are a couple of reasons I can think of; perhaps either her own liability insurance has changed (instructors often carry insurance in the event they get sued) or maybe the barn's. If you approach the subject appropriately, without emotion, it probably won't come across as rude.


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## Hannah1996 (Mar 14, 2015)

Sadly it can't possibly be that either! That's like one of the main things the stables are known for, is the trails. Her other students always talk about how much fun they had on the trails with her. Maybe she just doesnt like me much anymore lol


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## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

It is possible she's waiting on this to dry up or the ground to recover for winter. And her personal insurance may have changed and you'd never know. Maybe the horses need conditioned, etc, etc. I'd just bring it up to her without emotion and see where she's coming from.


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## Reiningcatsanddogs (Oct 9, 2014)

The reason I pointed those two instances out is liability insurance can get kind of prickly. 

Insurance companies switch rates, requirements and coverage pretty much every year, sometimes you don't get the notification they changed your coverage until after the fact. Like in December you are covered if an instructor is leading a group of people who have signed up for a group ride, but not for a one on one ride or private student ride without a separate signed waiver. A month later in January, you are covered only if the group signs a waiver and covered under no circumstances on a private one on one ride. 

It may be something else entirely, possibly something that likewise has nothing to do with you personally--there is a lot that could be going on and you won't do yourself or the issue any good by starting to think it is because she doesn't like you, or she doesn't think you are good enough.....you won't know until you ask.

IME people afraid to level with each other in an honest but respectful fashion is how misunderstandings and hard feelings start and then things spiral emotionally out of control.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

Has she become afraid to ride? When I was doing private lessons with kids, they were on the trail after the third or fourth lesson with me riding ahead or alongside. Riding whatever the land provides quickly improves a rider's skills. Perhaps it's time to shop around and gain experience with another coach. Your arrangement with your coach is business only so don't worry about offending her. She'll get over it.


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## PrivatePilot (Dec 7, 2009)

I agree, I suspect it's an insurance reason or perhaps a scheduling issue.

If it's a schooling facility first and foremost...many won't allow students who are not leasers to take their horses anywhere outside a lesson environment - being a leaser often changes things from an insurance standpoint making the owners of the facility less "on the hook" from a liability standpoint.

Have you asked if all the others who are doing trail rides are leasers?

And secondly, yes, the weather is another concern. Trails are a mucky slippery mess this time of year in the north - we're not allowed to go out hacking right now for that very reason at our facility nor would I even ask as it's simply unwise. That might be a big part of the decision.


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## Wallaby (Jul 13, 2008)

I would ask this lesson if you could go on a trail ride the next lesson. 

As a former instructor myself, I spent a lot of time planning lessons in advance and it would be hard to figure out a quality lesson on the fly if a student showed up saying "um, your plan? No thanks, I'd like to do ____."

Perhaps she feels that the time she'd spend getting her own horse ready would cut your lesson short? That's been the reason behind me not taking students on the trail multiple times.
They may have been ready, riding-wise, but they were paying for an hour lesson and it wouldn't have been professional for me to take up 15 minutes of their lesson time just to get my horse prepared. Similarly, there have been times when I had back-to-back lessons which impacted what we could do in the first lesson - for example, it often meant we had to take it easier in the first lesson to conserve the horse's energy for the second lesson [lesson horse was 29 and had limited energy], and so forth. I tried to avoid back-to-back lessons for that reason, but often conflicting schedules meant that I either had a lessons set-up I/my horse didn't enjoy...or I lost the student. 


I would ask her if you can go on a trail ride the next week, and maybe remind her mid-week.
If I were her, I'd need some time to prepare because I'd want you to get the best trail experience possible.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Here is my take. There are several reasons I can think of, that are all legitimate. However-if you have ben taking lessons from her for 4 years, you should be able to ASK her.

You are in Minnesota. I am in NY. Comparable gross winter, and the ground remains not only really wet, but really greasy, since the top is thawed and below that is still frozen in spots. It is risky for horse and rider. Not a safe mix. I know I had an instructor who is one of the best-but will not do trails since she has had a bad experience. I would not know that had I not ASKED.

There may well be another issue. Who knows. What do you think you will learn? Why not spend less $$ and go to a stable who just does trail rides?

Are you an adult? If so, you should certainly be able to talk to your instructor. If not, have your parent (who pays) ask.


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## Hannah1996 (Mar 14, 2015)

I'm 18 but I work so I pay for my own lessons  I had a lesson with her today and asked her and she said it was because she has a few lessons before mine and her horse is too tired by that time to use her for a trail ride for my lesson. I'm training for barrels and poles but every once in a while I love to go on a trail ride so yeah now I know why lol thank you all for your feedback y'all are great


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## Textan49 (Feb 13, 2015)

Other students are trail riding now? I would politely say " I have asked if we could trail ride several times and you haven't given me an answer, is there a reason I am not aware of ?" This should prompt her to explain but you should be ready to accept a logical answer.


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## anndankev (Aug 9, 2010)

Incitatus32 said:


> It is possible she's waiting on this to dry up or the ground to recover for winter. ... I'd just bring it up to her without emotion and see where she's coming from.



^^^ That was my initial thought.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

Her horse does more than one lesson a day?


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Many horses do more than one lesson a day, last I knew.


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

Is there another stable within a reasonable distance that offers trail rides?


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## Allison Finch (Oct 21, 2009)

It very well could be because she has a tight schedule. For her to take you on a trail ride, she has to groom and tack up another horse for her to ride, then she has to untack and groom afterward. She may not have the time or energy to do all of that. It is more work than you know, possibly.


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## Prinella (Jul 12, 2011)

Maybe you could try to organise an alternative time to go out then?


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## Samstead (Dec 13, 2011)

MaximasMommy said:


> Her horse does more than one lesson a day?


it's really common and it won't push the majority of horses past their limit. The only way I see that happening is with an older or injured/lame horse


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## loosie (Jun 19, 2008)

I'd ring her, before next lesson & tell her you want to trail ride for next lesson, and you don't want her to 'think about it' but give you a concrete reason why she won't do it, if she refuses. Saddle's got a good point - perhaps it's not about you at all, but that she's lost her nerve!


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## loosie (Jun 19, 2008)

If she has such a tight schedule/tired horse but takes others on trails, request that you either join one of the other 'lessons' or have an earlier lesson when her horse won't be tired.


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## ecasey (Oct 18, 2013)

First, remember that any lesson is a good lesson. I'm sure you're learning great stuff in your lesson no matter where it is.

Second, she might think you're not ready for a trail ride right now but doesn't want to tell you for fear of damaging your confidence.

Third, the horse she wants to use for herself isn't ready (they get spooky if they haven't been out in a while), and maybe she isn't in the mood to get the horse ready yet.

Fourth, maybe she's burned out on trail rides.

Find someone else to go on a trail ride with you or go to another barn where they'll do it. Or go on a trail ride with a trail riding outfit. There are lots of reasons why this might be happening (other than the ones you've suggested) and also lots of solutions.

Whatever you do, I hope you have fun on that trail ride! I'm looking forward to going on some myself now that the weather has finally turned.


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