# A Thread That Is Not About Weight Loss



## afatgirlafathorse (Feb 21, 2012)

Here I am yesterday at the beginning of my 12 hour shift! 
(For anyone who is curious, at the mention of 325 in the earlier thread, I now hover between 250-260)


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## Tracer (Sep 16, 2012)

YES.

Sure, I am currently trying hard to lose weight, but I am happy with who I am right now. More than that, my goal weight will still have me be obese. Even so, I want to get there and stay there, because it is a weight that _*I*_ want, not what the rest of the world wants. I'm not losing weight for anyone but myself (well, and horses). It's for my health, and only slightly because I want to be able to shop in the average clothes store.

This is a photo from yesterday of me and my beautiful lease boy, Dozer. It's one of the few photos of myself that I like, even though it shows off my 'turkey wings', as I like to call them.


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

I don't give a flying crap about what others think of me and my extra pounds. I have lots friends, family and a girlfriend that love me just the way I am. Most of all, I love myself. I love the person I am regardless of what others think. Beauty is certainly more the skin deep! And remember, its not only "fat" people who face the challenge of self acceptance. 

The reason I was to lose weight is because no amount of loving yourself is going to prevent a heart attack, diabetes, COPD, joint damage, sleep apnea, hypertension, etc. Working in the hospital I see a lot of things and I swear when I say if it wasn't CAUSED by being overweight then it was definitely COMPOUND by being over weight!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## afatgirlafathorse (Feb 21, 2012)

No, self love certainly doesn't prevent those things -- but by what value do we measure "over"weight - which weight is it? For many of us (myself included at 6' tall), the BMI that seems to be most commonly used to measure what is "healthy" and what is not is impossible, literally. I would have to lose another 100lbs on to hit that scale appropriately. 

My point is that sometimes you exercise and eat right and you DON'T hit that BMI-set number, and you're HEALTHY. And that's acceptable. 

I just wanted to remind everyone that their self worth is not tied to that number on the scale.


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

I agree, the "appropriate" weight is a little... unrealistic. My sister is skinny, 4'11 and about 120. She would look emaciated if she was able to get down to 100, or less. I think that whole system needs to be revamped. 

Bottom line is our bodies were never made to carry this much weight, regardless of good eating and activity. Our joints aren't designed to carry it. Our hearts have to work harder to circulate more blood to a larger body. Our kidneys are over taxed for circulating that blood. Our respiratory systems have difficulty with expansion. Sure, you feel healthy when your younger, but think of 10, 20 and 30 years from now! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## afatgirlafathorse (Feb 21, 2012)

And that is certainly a valid point to make but was not the point or conversation I was aiming for with this thread.


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## CowboysDream (Nov 12, 2011)

I agree with what you are saying and I agree with what SlideStop also said. I believe you are correct that it is easier to 'let go of the weight' when you have some self love. If you are truly doing it for yourself, because you love yourself, then it becomes easier... You don't mind giving it your all. 









This was my first archery lesson. 

I can say that right now I am not really concentrating on losing weight specifically. My boyfriend and I now do archery every Saturday morning. We also just got a puppy, so I am being more active just from that. Plus the weather is FINALLY getting warming and I am looking forward to getting out there more. 









Isn't he perfect?  His name is Rook.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Posting in haste, but:

Numbers on scales..

Here am I riding at 250 pounds odd and feeling like a million dollars










Here am I at around 250 feeling like a sack of pooh










The difference? Well in the first pic I was on my way down from over 300 pounds, and in the second I was on my way back up from under 200

I was thinking about this today when my lying rotten stupid scales say I have gained weight this week, and that is impossible, because I have been on target with my eating all week:twisted: 

My Thoughts.

I AM not happy at my current weight and shape, so I am doing something about it.

I will not wait until some mythical time in the future when I am some 'perfect' weight to actually get out and enjoy life.

I will do all I can within the physical capabilities of myself and my horse, and that boundary will constantly expand.

Numbers are numbers and do not define me.

Apart from my losses..

I have lost 30 pounds since November, and have been going 

"Oh Woe is me" "Only 30 pounds and I nave so much more to go."

I should be saying

"GIRL YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR! 30 pounds is great"

Gotta go, but just some thoughts to add.


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## DimSum (Mar 28, 2012)

Okay so I'll say it..."GIRL YOU ARE A ROCKSTAR and 30 lbs is great!!" 
*hugs to you Goldenhorse* Oh and that is one super attractive boy you are riding! Keep on keeping on. I know exactly what you mean by being both happy and sad at the same weight, I just fit back into a new pair of jeans I bought-and stored for a few years as I'd gained weight.

I've never been hung up on numbers, when I was younger and working out my fighting weight was 165 lbs and I was very fit. Now I'm 48 years old and over time have gained a lot of weight. I feel it in my joints every single day, I'm up for a knee replacement sometime soon. As a nurse I see the problems that being overweight produce...diabetes which causes kidney failure, blindness, ulcers and limb loss. I see heart attacks and strokes, hip and knee replacements etc. 

So yeah, I'm actively loosing weight. 45lbs since last summer, and more to go. I'm not saying for people to "not be comfortable in your own skin" about being overweight but you do have to think about taking years off the end of your life in trade for being overweight...that's the reality. I shudder to think I'll be lying there in one of my hospital beds not able to, to well clean myself up due to being overweight or loosing my leg to diabetes. Just my disjointed 2cents on the subject.


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

Yay!! Another nurse  well I'm just a meer student for the next year! I'm extremely worried about my joints. My foot recently developed plantars faciitis from rugby...yes, I could play fine but my foot wasn't able to handle the stress. But yes, very sad, scary and most of all undignifing when a patient so is large they can't get out of bed to use the bathroom, let alone clean themselves. That's all disease aside of course.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I have been fat for something like 22 years, (I am now almost 55), for the most part. Sure, I dieted the weight off , and gained it back with it's new extra pounds. I also had (have) a good life. I do everything a nonobese person does. I did/do not allow being fat to stop me. Dancing, swimming, riding, badminton, hiking, you name it. Being fat always made those things more difficult for me than for my skinny-minny friends, but I actually felt perversely proud of the fact that even though I was well overweight, I could still hold my own in all those activities. just like my skinny friends playing badminton with a 50 lb pack on their backs. just try that! I soldiered on. But . . .

Now here comes the big HOWEVER. ..

It cannot go on forever. you cannot deny the weight and its' effects on your body or the toll it takes. You have to work harder and harder to overcome it, and it wears you down, joint by joint.

Most of the pictures posted show young people .. You cannot get back your knees once they are trashed. And, you will find that the thing you love most in the world - riding- will become harder to do, more painful and you will be less able to do it. Of course, age itself plays a part, but I hate to say this, but being fat will make you age harder than those who are not fat for many years of their life. AND, the longer you are fat, the harder it is to take the weight off. The older you get, the harder it is to take the weight off.

Sure, you should most definitely love yourself and immerse yourself in life without self hate or shame. But, try to keep in mind the very far distant future. 
think of it this way; "if it's hard to take off weight now (and it surely is), will it be easier next year? (I assure you it won't). Do I want hard or harder?"


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## alexischristina (Jun 30, 2009)

I do like the idea of acceptance and body positivity, I'm huge in the world of fitness on tumblr and it's a common theme, something that is much debated. Yes, body positivity is a great thing, and you cannot lead a healthy life style if you're constantly putting yourself down about your weight. I'm a firm believer that it's not healthy to be over weight, it's not healthy to be underweight, and it's not healthy to be at your 'perfect' weight _if_ you're still afraid of calories (note afraid, not conscious). So yes, accepting your body is one gigantic leap to being a healthy person, but too often I see 'body positivity' carrying over into using it as an excuse to not try to achieve health in the rest of your life. At 5 ft, my highest weight was 150 pounds. I wore an XL shirt and felt like a 90 year old women, not fun when you're in your teens. Riding hurt, falling hurt, now I'm down 30 pounds and have a decent amount of muscle, but my body still hurts because it wasn't built to carry that much weight and I've pretty much mucked up some of my joints for the rest of my life... at 19 years old.

The idea of being positive about yourself and accepting your body is a good one, if you're still conscious.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

It's all relative as to what feels like unbearably fat. I am something like 205. I'd be thrilled to be 150. I would be thrilled to be 175. twenty years ago, that would not be so thrilling.

I do agree, wholeheartedly, with what the OP said about loving yourself. I love the way she said, "you don't do favors for someone you dislike, so you won't take care of yourself if you don't like/love yourself" or something along those lines. So, so true!


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## afatgirlafathorse (Feb 21, 2012)

I really think my intent in posting this thread was lost... in a pretty significant way. Sorry guys, I tried!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

afatgirlafathorse said:


> I really think my intent in posting this thread was lost... in a pretty significant way. Sorry guys, I tried!


Sorry if we lost your way!

I'm not totally sure what responses you wanted, but we all don't feel the same about our weight, and we are all in different places in our heads and our hearts.


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## alexischristina (Jun 30, 2009)

I don't think your intent was lost at all. I think everybody agrees that body positivity is a good thing, but some people do represent it in the desire to lose weight, etcetc.


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

afatgirlafathorse said:


> I really think my intent in posting this thread was lost... in a pretty significant way. Sorry guys, I tried!


I think your point is certainly heard and defiantly valid!! Loving yourself, no matter what makes you different, is very important! But, its a small piece of the puzzle that makes up "health".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

afatgirlafathorse said:


> I really think my intent in posting this thread was lost... in a pretty significant way. Sorry guys, I tried!


 
You wanted people to be happy with and like the person they are, and to not feel that they have to say "I am trying to lose weight" in order to feel validated for the perfectly valuable person they are.

I agree 100%. 1000%. 

On that line, I really dislike it when people (including myself) say this all the time. Either work on losing weight, or don't but don't go around saying that all the time when you aren't really doing it. "Trying" to do something, and "Doing" something are not the same.

I made my post not to get back to the "pounds" thing, but to ever so slightly counter the idea of the so-called "Fat Serenity". This is where you convince yourself that you are happy where you are. All good and well. Yes, be happy where you are. But don't fool yourself that you can ride as well at 260 lbs as you could at 160lbs. And don't fool yourself that you won't be overweight forever, that someday you'll do something about it, by "magic". Yeah, if your young and fat you can still do pretty much anything you want to do. But my point is that even though you don't realize it at the time, you are raising the cost that you have to pay in 20 years time.
How much are you willing to pay later for being serene about your obesity now.?


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

tinyliny said:


> On that line, I really dislike it when people (including myself) say this all the time. Either work on losing weight, or don't but don't go around saying that all the time when you aren't really doing it. "Trying" to do something, and "Doing" something are not the same.


Yup, if you are happy at your weight, do not make excuses, embrace it and love it. If you aren't happy, change it I've spent a lot of time mumbling about losing weight, and never doing it. Now I am doing something about it, because I have positive goals to aim at.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

And one reason I might be harping on this rather harshly (please excuse me. I am usually not so direct and "mean") is that my own weight is the cause of the knee and lower back problems that are now threatening my ability to ride and to walk anywhere of any real distance. I NEVER thought it would actually come to that. Not me. I could always keep up , even being way overweight I could outride some of my skinny friends. Now, I am seeing a very frightening spectre of being unable to actually ride. OMG. That is simply unacceptable. but, my knee is pretty trashed, and so is my lower back, and if you think being 50+ lbs overweight for 20+ years didn't have somethign to dowith that, then you are fooling yourself. 

It's not too late for me to change. Am I willing? well, a lot more than a year ago, becuase it's one year more critical. Will even this threat of being unable to ride or walk well be enough to make me do what it takes? not sure. Overeating is a POWERFUL addiction. and the older you get, the less food it takes to make you fat, so you have to eat even less to lose weight. People always said that to me, but it never really seemed true until now. I doubt it's possible for a person to really realize these things purely by another person warning them of the impending nature of them. one has to walk the path themselves to feel the stones.


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## PaintedFury (Aug 18, 2010)

I think there is a big difference between loving yourself, and loving the fact that you are overweight, or even being ok with it. The smallest that I have ever been was 180, and at 5'5" that is still overweight, but I was literally rock solid, nothing moved, and I had a 24" waist. I look in the mirror now, and wonder wth happened? But one thing that no one can take from me, is my confidence. I can, will, and do still walk into a room or situation like I own it. Does that mean that I'm happy with being fat? Hell no. But I do love and respect myself enough to walk in with my head held high. When I say that I'm working on losing weight, I mean it and will do what I have to. I'm never going to offer that phrase to anyone in an attempt to justfy my existance, because at the end of the day I really don't care what they think of me. It only matters what I think of me, and whatever I'm doing to lose weight, get fit, get healthy, etc etc is between me, my body, my mind, and no one else. The way I look at it, is if someone doesn't like me simply because I'm fat, they are missing everything else that I am, and it's their loss, not mine.
I understand completely why this thread was began. We are more than our numbers, and we have to love ourselves enough to change, but we don't have to love the fact that we're overweight. You can love yourself, and not love your circumstances. Life happens, it knocks you down, well you can choose to cowboy/cowgirl up or you can lay in the dirt. Get up, dust yourself off, and keep pushing forward.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

paintedfury said:


> i think there is a big difference between loving yourself, and loving the fact that you are overweight, or even being ok with it. The smallest that i have ever been was 180, and at 5'5" that is still overweight, but i was literally rock solid, nothing moved, and i had a 24" waist. I look in the mirror now, and wonder wth happened? But one thing that no one can take from me, is my confidence. I can, will, and do still walk into a room or situation like i own it. Does that mean that i'm happy with being fat? Hell no. But i do love and respect myself enough to walk in with my head held high. When i say that i'm working on losing weight, i mean it and will do what i have to. I'm never going to offer that phrase to anyone in an attempt to justfy my existance, because at the end of the day i really don't care what they think of me. It only matters what i think of me, and whatever i'm doing to lose weight, get fit, get healthy, etc etc is between me, my body, my mind, and no one else. The way i look at it, is if someone doesn't like me simply because i'm fat, they are missing everything else that i am, and it's their loss, not mine.
> I understand completely why this thread was began. We are more than our numbers, and we have to love ourselves enough to change, but we don't have to love the fact that we're overweight. You can love yourself, and not love your circumstances. Life happens, it knocks you down, well you can choose to cowboy/cowgirl up or you can lay in the dirt. Get up, dust yourself off, and keep pushing forward.
> _posted via mobile device_


 
bravissimo!


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## PaintedFury (Aug 18, 2010)

Thank you Tiny.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## callidorre (Dec 7, 2011)

I don't really have anything to add. Just- excellent post PaintedFury!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PaintedFury (Aug 18, 2010)

callidorre said:


> I don't really have anything to add. Just- excellent post PaintedFury!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thank you callidorre.


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## PaintedFury (Aug 18, 2010)

I hope this pic uploaded, I'm doing this from my phone. This is me, today.


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## Birdz (Oct 13, 2012)

and you look beautiful my dear!

I think the point of this thread was just to deter people away from the "I need to lose weight to be happy/ride" attitude. So what if you do or think you do? We can also talk about how beautiful we are in our own skin, BESIDES focusing on weight loss.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)




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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

I'm 5'7" and 230-ish pounds. Six months ago, I weighed 170-ish (but mostly muscle, as I was wearing a size 12). I haven't changed anything in my eating habits (if anything, I'm eating better) and I'm definitely more active (my job now requires it as I wash cars all day). I have a great life that I love. I have an amazing boyfriend, an awesome family, ridiculously incredible friends, and a pretty okay job.

Do I love who I am as a person? You bet your boots! I've got stuff I need to work on, but so does everyone (unless you ask my boyfriend...he thinks he's perfect lol).

Do I love who I am physically? Hell no! 

Can/do I accept myself as I am physically right now? Not a chance in hell.

And here's why not...

1) I drive a 1983 Ford Thunderbird Heritage. This is a car that sits low to the ground. I have a VERY hard time getting into and out of my car, especially if it's sitting on any sort of an incline.

2) I can't wear my uniform pants. I had to trade them in for a bigger size (size 46 in men's...they don't have women's) and they are still too small. I wore a pair on Saturday and I literally have a bruise across my stomach from the waistband.

3) I get winded walking across the parking lot. Where I used to be able to go on a 5 mile hike over rough terrain and barely get winded, I now can barely walk a half mile on a manicured trail before I'm spent.

4) We're just not even gonna get into my (non-existent) sex life. 

I could go on, but I won't. My point is that I cannot and do not accept myself at this weight.

That being said, I do need to get checked out medically because I can feel that something isn't...right...with my body.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Birdz (Oct 13, 2012)

then why comment on the thread that is about self-acceptance? No one says you have to... but there are some of us who do.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Birdz said:


> then why comment on the thread that is about self-acceptance? No one says you have to... but there are some of us who do.


Why not comment, does this make you feel uncomfortable?

For those who are comfortable in their body, that is great, I feel happy for them, but that isn't everyone.

I tried feeling happy with my body, I just got fatter, I don't seem to have a 'normal weight' I am always on a journey to another place. To me is is important to accept who you are, but at the same time very few of us are perfect, we are always working to improve our lives, bodies, minds etc etc.


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## Birdz (Oct 13, 2012)

My point being... why be the debbie-downer on a thread meant to uplift?

There are plenty of other threads on here where you can gloat about your perceived body image. I, for one, will continue to uplift and compliment the women who post pictures because they ARE beautiful, even if they aren't completely happy with themselves.... its nice to hear nice things about yourself instead of always being "OMG I need to lose weight, I look horrible." mentality. 

Not addressing this to anyone specific... just go be unhappy on other threads instead of bringing people down on here because it reaffirms your own negative body image. So what if we all need to lose weight? Why does that need to be the center of all discussion on here?


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

Birdz said:


> then why comment on the thread that is about self-acceptance?  No one says you have to... but there are some of us who do.


My point was that I have accept who I am as a person, but I refuse to accept who I am physically (at least right now). Everyone I have known who accepted being overweight as "part of who they are" has stayed that way or gotten worse. Every single one. I've not known (or heard of anyone) who honestly said "I like who I am and how I look, even though I'm seriously overweight and limited physically" who lost weight. To accept the status quo (in this case, being overweight) is to not seek out change, especially change for the better.

I've always had issues with how I look. In high school, I was a healthy, muscular 156-158 pounds. I was active (hiking, soccer, marching band, etc) and I ate right. I thought I was fat because I wasn't 125lbs and a size 6 like my cousin my age. I look at pictures of myself and think "Was I crazy?! I look **** good!"

I'm big boned. I accept that. I won't ever be a size 2. I accept that (and wouldn't want to be anyway). What I don't accept is being so overweight that I can barely bend over to pick a rag up off the ground or tie my shoelaces. No one should have to feel like they should accept that.

ETA: Do I think I'm beautiful? Not really. Pretty, yes. Even at the weight I am now. I don't need outside affirmation of that because I believe it already. My negative body image comes from the fact that my body limits the things I want to do, be and accomplish. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PaintedFury (Aug 18, 2010)

Well said GoldenHorse. There is a world of difference between accepting/loving who you are, and accepting/loving being overweight as part of who you are. Simply saying that I'm fat is a fact, something that can and will be changed! Me being fat has nothing to do with who I am. I am way more than a number on a scale, measuring tape, or any other device that tells me something that I already know, I need to make some changes. 
That being said, I do realize that poor self-image/self-confidence often accompanies being overweight even by small amounts. I'm going to tell you something I figured out a while back. Someone only has power over you if you allow them to. Stand up for yourself, even if you don't buy into what you're saying at the moment, you will eventually. Confidence is not some mysterious force that only certain people can have, we all have the right to it. Even if it means telling yourself repeatedly that you matter, you're beautiful/handsome, you're confident, smart, whatever, you'll start to believe it where before you didn't. Replace your negative self talk with positive, in stead of saying I'm fat when you catch a glimps of yourself in the mirror, say I'm in better shape today than I was yesterday, and I'll be in better shape tomorrow than I am today. Say something that will improve you instead of insult you. The simple act of changing how you look at yourself, will often give you the courage to change what you see. But it will also change how others see you too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Ok, all you Debbie Downers, come on, let's go find our own corner to whine and complain in. We aren't wanted here.


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## Birdz (Oct 13, 2012)

Its just a shame this thread had to turn this way. Could have been a really good positive inspiration for people!

Oh well, some people will always be unhappy.


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

Birdz said:


> Its just a shame this thread had to turn this way. Could have been a really good positive inspiration for people!
> 
> Oh well, some people will always be unhappy.


I believe everyone here has said they like themselves and are HAPPY with the PERSON they are. Your weight doesn't have to be part of the PERSON you are. They are to separate things. Its inspirational to see people on here who are as big or bigger then I am still love themselves AND work on making themselves healthier! 

Yes, I like myself! Yes, I'm a happy person! But that doesn't mean I have to celebrate being 237 pounds. I don't harp on it, but I don't go around thinking how amazing 240 pounds is. 

Also, there is NO denying the many negative health effects obesity has (heart attack, stroke, diabetes, etc). It doesn't matter how much you love the person you are, being over weight will nd DOES kill people. I've seen it happen. That's called REALITY!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DimSum (Mar 28, 2012)

tinyliny said:


> Ok, all you Debbie Downers, come on, let's go find our own corner to whine and complain in. We aren't wanted here.


Okay if you want to start the HF Debbie Downers Club, I'm in :wink::lol:


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## clippityclop (Jul 12, 2012)

Well here is a twist - my 13yr old gets teased at school for being thin. Her friends joke (and she knows they are joking) and call her anorexic. She blows it off b/c she knows they are just giving her a hard time but she admits that it does get old and I know it affects her b/c she will ask me from time to time if I think she is too skinny. She is 5'4" and just over 100lbs. She wears a size 1-2 in jeans and is only in the 8th grade. Times are different now and at least where I am in this neck of the woods, if you are in your healthy weight range, you are now the odd man out. My daughter is the most thin out of most of her peers so it is no wonder she gets teased - teenage girls can be hard on each other as we all know. 

So I work with her on a daily basis telling her how good she looks in her clothes and how pretty she is and I compliment her on her eating habits ALL of the time -she is a meat and veggie girl and doesn't do fast food too much. We have a history on both sides of our family (hubby's and mine) of heart disease, stroke, obesity and other issues and so we've never had to say a thing about 'watch your weight' she's had examples to go by, many relatives who are deceased from complications due to obesity and/or heart disease related to eating habits.

So for what it is worth, even the thin people have trouble with their 'worthiness' to have friends or fit in with peers. Self love is important no matter who you are or where you are in life. My daughter is just starting out with hers - we make sure she is constantly surrounded with family/friends who love her for who she is and I think it does her good. So I see the 'ops' point - it is nice when folks can just accept you 'as is' without having to make excuses. But debbie downer or not - it is hurtful when people judge - try being 13 again.:wink:


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Birdz said:


> Its just a shame this thread had to turn this way. Could have been a really good positive inspiration for people!
> 
> Oh well, some people will always be unhappy.


See I didn't see people being unhappy, just realistic maybe. The trouble with threads is they are notoriously difficult to point in the right direction, it's like trying to herd cats.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

SlideStop said:


> I believe everyone here has said they like themselves and are HAPPY with the PERSON they are. Your weight doesn't have to be part of the PERSON you are. They are to separate things. Its inspirational to see people on here who are as big or bigger then I am still love themselves AND work on making themselves healthier!
> 
> Yes, I like myself! Yes, I'm a happy person! But that doesn't mean I have to celebrate being 237 pounds. I don't harp on it, but I don't go around thinking how amazing 240 pounds is.
> 
> ...


Thank you!! This is exactly what I was trying to convey! I wonda if my English no worka so good!! :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## alexischristina (Jun 30, 2009)

One of my favourite sentiments is this- "you are not fat, you have fat. You also have fingernails, that doesn't mean you _are_ fingernails." The point is, while how you 'feel' about your body image is very much a part of you / what you are, your weight doesn't HAVE to be. I like to separate being happy with myself as a person from being happy with my body, I'm not 'happy' with my body, I'd like to be fitter, I'd like to be able to run longer, lift heavier weights. But I am happy with who I am as a person, and I think THAT is what is important.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

alexischristina said:


> One of my favourite sentiments is this- "you are not fat, you have fat. You also have fingernails, that doesn't mean you _are_ fingernails." The point is, while how you 'feel' about your body image is very much a part of you / what you are, your weight doesn't HAVE to be. I like to separate being happy with myself as a person from being happy with my body, I'm not 'happy' with my body, I'd like to be fitter, I'd like to be able to run longer, lift heavier weights. But I am happy with who I am as a person, and I think THAT is what is important.


Oooooo!!! I love that!! I'm gonna put that on my mirror!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Birdz said:


> My point being... why be the debbie-downer on a thread meant to uplift?
> 
> There are plenty of other threads on here where you can gloat about your perceived body image. I, for one, will continue to uplift and compliment the women who post pictures because they ARE beautiful, even if they aren't completely happy with themselves.... its nice to hear nice things about yourself instead of always being "OMG I need to lose weight, I look horrible." mentality.
> 
> Not addressing this to anyone specific... just go be unhappy on other threads instead of bringing people down on here because it reaffirms your own negative body image. So what if we all need to lose weight? Why does that need to be the center of all discussion on here?


I think she was trying to say that she can still love herself while finding her weight to be unacceptable.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JaphyJaphy (Nov 15, 2012)

DancingArabian said:


> I think she was trying to say that she can still love herself while finding her weight to be unacceptable.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Agreed. Having a healthy self-image does not equate perceived perfection. In fact, having a healthy self-image is what helps you to identify (and also acknowledge) the things you need to work on as a person. Change is not easy, especially when it comes to things like losing weight. Personally, I call upon my "self-love" to put things in perspective, support me through my slip-ups, and to celebrate my successes.


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## EquineBovine (Sep 6, 2012)

Firstly, lovely photos every one and I totaly agree whole heartedly with afgafh (I've been on your facebook page for ages now girl haha)
Secondly, ignore the bloody BMI. As a health professional I think it is a load of bull poop. It puts the entire All Blacks in the morbidly obese zone and would you just LOOK at those hotties? (minis the smashed up faces and boxed ears :wink
So look after yourself every one and always love yourself and your ponies 

Thanks for starting this thread btw :wink: Was totally getting fed up with the weight loss stuff (not that it's a bad thing, please don't kill me :shock


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## EquineBovine (Sep 6, 2012)

EquineBovine said:


> Firstly, lovely photos every one and I totaly agree whole heartedly with afgafh (I've been on your facebook page for ages now girl haha)
> Secondly, ignore the bloody BMI. As a health professional I think it is a load of bull poop. It puts the entire All Blacks in the morbidly obese zone and would you just LOOK at those hotties? (minis the smashed up faces and boxed ears :wink
> So look after yourself every one and always love yourself and your ponies
> 
> Thanks for starting this thread btw :wink: Was totally getting fed up with the weight loss stuff (not that it's a bad thing, please don't kill me :shock


 Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I've just read the other pages lol 
Yes there are health issues with beeing over weight but having to reassure people that you're deiting shouldn't be nessacary. You know your body and what needs to be done, why should you need to inform every one? Why do they need to know? 
Just my opion


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

EquineBovine said:


> Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I've just read the other pages lol
> Yes there are health issues with beeing over weight but having to reassure people that you're deiting shouldn't be nessacary. You know your body and what needs to be done, why should you need to inform every one? Why do they need to know?
> Just my opion



Well for a starts "informing everyone" helps build a network of support and a place to get advice and assurance from. Especially if you lack that in your daily life. I know for me its rough that my girlfriend loves to talk about Cadbury eggs and eat Mac and cheese in front of me and my mom calls me a fat **** at any given opportunity. It's nice to come here and see "wow, so and so is doing it so can I" or "oh, this worked for that person. Maybe I'll try it" or heaven forbid a "good job slide, keep up the work!". 

Why do you think this is something we should sweep under the rug? Would you tell an alcoholic to shut up and suffer/go through recovery alone? 

Not for nothing, this argument can be flipped right around to say "your just unhappy because we have found some motivation for change instead of just excepting ourself as obese/over weight".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I'm pretty much kidding with the Debby Downer exclusive thread. First time I've ever thought of myself as a DD.

What I really liked about the OP was her saying that you don't have to say "I'm dieting, " or "I'm trying to lose some weight" , in otherwords, make some kind of excuse or qualifier for your size, in order to feel comfortable with other people.
That is so true, and a good thing to be reminded of.

I am sure that I am occasionalll guilty fo plugging in that comment of "I'm trying to loose weight", in a feeble attempt to somehow make myself appear more worthy. My friends are such good friends, they are happy if I'm on that road, but they like me for who I am now.


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## EquineBovine (Sep 6, 2012)

SlideStop said:


> Well for a starts "informing everyone" helps build a network of support and a place to get advice and assurance from. Especially if you lack that in your daily life. I know for me its rough that my girlfriend loves to talk about Cadbury eggs and eat Mac and cheese in front of me and my mom calls me a fat **** at any given opportunity. It's nice to come here and see "wow, so and so is doing it so can I" or "oh, this worked for that person. Maybe I'll try it" or heaven forbid a "good job slide, keep up the work!".
> 
> Why do you think this is something we should sweep under the rug? Would you tell an alcoholic to shut up and suffer/go through recovery alone?
> 
> ...


Nonono sorry. I'm not saying ignore it :shock: I'm saying why justify it to every one else? If you want to that's brilliant but I won't be going around telling everyone I'm on a diet because that's just me 
And I love the motivation here, it is awesome! It's just nice to see something different that's all :wink:


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## EquineBovine (Sep 6, 2012)

tinyliny said:


> I'm pretty much kidding with the Debby Downer exclusive thread. First time I've ever thought of myself as a DD.
> 
> What I really liked about the OP was her saying that you don't have to say "I'm dieting, " or "I'm trying to lose some weight" , in otherwords, make some kind of excuse or qualifier for your size, in order to feel comfortable with other people.
> That is so true, and a good thing to be reminded of.
> ...


:clap: thank you! You are much better at explaining things than I haha This is what I was trying to say. NOT trying to 'sweep it under the rug' :wink:


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## crb32578 (Mar 27, 2013)

Well, I'm new to the forum, but wanted to throw a couple cents in anyway....

I just turned 35 this week and I am overweight- obese by the 'standard'. I don't 'feel' fat most of the time (I hover around 200 lately) and still do everything I want to physically do. I work at a barn cleaning stalls and other chores that involve lifting feed bags, etc- not to mention my own chores at home. I try to eat healthy and drink water and all that jazz. Would like to lose some weight, well heck yeah. Am I unhappy and miserable the way I am right now? Nope.

I agree that a lot of being at a healthy weight is accepting yourself exactly where you are, be it 350lbs or 150lbs. If you have health issues compounded by your weight, then by all means, you should make a concentrated effort to help yourself. But I for one don't feel the need to look a certain way or weigh a certain amount to be acceptable in society. You should do what is right for YOU.

I don't think the OP meant to imply that anyone is misguided or wrong for not being comfortable/happy/satisfied with their weight.

So there's my rant. 

And by the way, I think all of your pictures are great!


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

> I agree that a lot of being at a healthy weight is accepting yourself exactly where you are, be it 350lbs or 150lbs.


Accepting yourself doesn't mean you have to love the weight you are. 

Also, being 350lbs is in no way, shape or form healthly. Your at risk for: 
Heart & vascular diseases: Hypertension, heart attack, heart failure
Diabetes: vision loss, limb loss, death from hypoglycemia
Stroke: carries various complications 
Musculoskeletal problems

Obesity is a risk factor or comorbidity for *many* disease. These are the only ones I can think of off the top of my. 

Loving yourself is good and can give you the power to change. You don't have to "accept" being over weight like a dying animals lays down to accept death.


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## Cinder (Feb 20, 2011)

Alright, first I'd like to say that I respect and admire all of you, and in now way am I talking to any one person in this thread, and I really don't want to offend anyone. This is just my opinion and my experience. 

I'd like to address the whole health thing. What is the definition of health? 



> Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.


 -From the World Health Organization. This is the definition I learned in health class. 

I feel that too many of us are focusing completely on the "physical" aspect and not enough on the "mental and social" aspects. 

I honestly believe that you need to learn to love yourself, no matter your weight. It's important to remember that losing weight will not magically fix all your issues. I've lost 39 pounds since my highest weight, where I had horrible self-esteem. Guess what? I still have horrible self-esteem. 

And I see so many people judging people for their health. It's sad. 

First, body weight is just one part of the puzzle that is an individual's health. We've all seen skinny people who can stay skinny and eat whatever junk they want with no exercise. Just because they are skinny, does that mean they are "healthy"? Absolutely not. Say it with me: *you can't look at a person and know their exact health.* 

Second, a person's value *is not in how healthy they are.* Being unhealthy does not make a person worth any less, less worthy of praise for their good qualities, etc. 

Being healthy is important to a lot of people, I totally get it! It's important to me! But for some people, their health isn't their number one priority. 


Loving yourself is important. Believe me. Until you love yourself, so many mental and social issues we associate with being over-weight won't change.


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