# Why why why



## Tianimalz (Jan 6, 2009)

> *Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?*


I HAVE BEEN WONDERING THIS FOR YEARS. Seriously.


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

kitten_Val said:


> *When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart, then apologises for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right"? Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?"*


This happened to me not too long ago but it was a motorized cart and she hit my bad knee. I didn't use the standard "It's all right"...I couldn't help myself. I turned around and said "Well apparently they don't require licenses for those now do they? Watch where the *warm place* you're going"


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## Tianimalz (Jan 6, 2009)

MHFoundation Quarters said:


> This happened to me not too long ago but it was a motorized cart and she hit my bad knee. I didn't use the standard "It's all right"...I couldn't help myself. I turned around and said "Well apparently they don't require licenses for those now do they? Watch where the *warm place* you're going"


:rofl:


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## Allison Finch (Oct 21, 2009)

Why do you drive on parkways, and park on driveways?


Why do drive up windows have braille instructions?


Why is bra singular and panties plural?


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

Tianimalz said:


> I HAVE BEEN WONDERING THIS FOR YEARS. Seriously.


****!

And this one "*Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?*" is definitely applicable to me! :lol:


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## Tianimalz (Jan 6, 2009)

kitten_Val said:


> ****!
> 
> And this one "*Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?*" is definitely applicable to me! :lol:


I do it every hour on my days off, so don't worry you're not alone :lol:


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## Kayty (Sep 8, 2009)

Allison Finch said:


> Why is bra singular and panties plural?


Now this one definitely has me wondering!!! :lol:


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## Kayty (Sep 8, 2009)

Oh and yes, I am also guilty of running over a piece of string multiple times with the vacuum, pick it up, then drop it again and try to vacuum it for the 20th time :S


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## Poco1220 (Apr 6, 2010)

needed that tonight
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Allison Finch (Oct 21, 2009)

Why are there locks on the door of stores open 24 hours?


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

Allison Finch said:


> Why are there locks on the door of stores open 24 hours?


Oh, I can answer this one. :wink: At least in my area number of supermarkets have 2 entrances, and after certain hour (like 10 pm or midnight) they lock one of the entrances (I assume safety issue).


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## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

kitten_Val said:


> Oh, I can answer this one. :wink: At least in my area number of supermarkets have 2 entrances, and after certain hour (like 10 pm or midnight) they lock one of the entrances (I assume safety issue).


 
LOL. I think that was meant to be rhetorical...
How about when you turn the hose on, nothing comes out so you look down it, even though you know whats about to happen....

Or you touch the electric fencing just to make sure its electric. guilty!


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## Tianimalz (Jan 6, 2009)

DuffyDuck said:


> Or you touch the electric fencing just to make sure its electric. guilty!


Oh no, when I need to make sure the fence is working I usually employ one of my younger brothers with the bribe of whatever candy I got stashed in my room. :wink:


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Allison Finch said:


> Why do drive up windows have braille instructions?


THIS is a good question, I've wondered that for ages


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

A stitch in time saves nine what? 
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? 
After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? --Steven Wright 
Are female moths called myths? 
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? 
Are there a lot of virgins in the Virgin Islands? 
Are there any unguided missiles? 
Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"? 
Are you telling the truth if you lie in bed? 
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? 
Can a stupid person be a smart-***? 
Can fat people go skinny-dipping? 
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop? 
Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener? 
Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer? 
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime? 
Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it? 
Did Noah keep his bees in archives? 
Do blind dogs have seeing-eye humans? 
Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs? 
Do boxer shorts box? 
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? 
Do clowns wear really big socks? 
Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims? 
Do files get embarrassed when they get unzipped? 
Do fish get thirsty? 
Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words? 
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites? 
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 
Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans? 
Do mass murderers kill only in church? 
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'? 
Do pilots take crash-courses? 
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? 
Do Scottish Terriers get Scotch Tape worms? 
Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers? 
Do steam rollers really roll steam? 
Do television evangelists do more than lay people? --Stanley Ralph Moss 
Do vampires get AIDS? 
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? 
Do witches run spell checkers? 
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? 
Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them? 
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? --Steven Wright 
Does a man-eating shark eat women, too? 
Does an analyst have to be anal? --Adam Rifkin 
Does killing time damage eternity? 
Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip? 
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? 
Ever notice how irons have a setting for "permanent" press? I don't get it. --Steven Wright 
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? 
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool? 
Have you ever talked into an acoustic modem? 
Have you ever wondered? 
How can someone "draw a blank"? 
How can there be self-help "groups"? 
How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes? 
How come chocolate milk doesn't come from brown cows? 
How come I can pick my ears but not my nose? 
How come wrong numbers are never busy? 
How dead is the Dead Sea? 
How did a fool and his money get together? 
How did the man who invented cottage cheese know he was done? 
How do I set my laser printer on stun? 
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? 
How do they get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass? 
How do you get off a nonstop flight? 
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you've tried some of the others? 
How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink? 
How do you throw away a garbage can? 
How do you write zero in Roman numerals? 
How does a person with a lisp pronounce that word? 
How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold? 
How does it work out that these people always die in alphabetical order? 
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? 
How is it possible to have a "civil" war? 
How is it possible to run out of space? 
How long is the long arm of the law? 
How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb? 
How many weeks are there in a light year? 
How much can I get away with and still go to heaven? 
How much milk is there in the Milky Way? 
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was? --Satchel Paige 
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? 
If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?" 
If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk? 
If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do? 
If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? --Tom Robbins 
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman? 
If a mime commits suicide, does he use a silencer? --Steven Wright 
If a mirror reverses right and left, why doesn't it reverse up and down? 
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth? 
If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it a ham-hock? 
If a pizza place sells pizza by the slice, is there a guy in the back tossing a triangle in the air? --Steven Wright 
If a pronoun is a word used in place of a noun, is a proverb a word used in place of a verb? 
If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain? 
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? 
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? 
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know? 
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure? --Harry Shearer 
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? 
If all the world is a stage, where are the audience sitting? 
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green, and a lemon called a yellow? 
If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? 
If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends? 
If bees live in an apiary, do apes live in a beeiary? 
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? --Steven Wright 
If cats and dog didn't have fur would we still pet them? 
If corn can't hear, why does it have an ear? 
If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from? 
If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? 
If everything is part of a whole, what is the whole part of? --Ashleigh Brilliant 
If flowers don't talk back to you, are they mums? 
If Fred Flintstone knew that the large order of ribs would tip his car over, why did he order them at the end of every show? --Steven Wright 
If God can do anything, can he make a rock so big he can't lift it? --George Carlin 
If God dropped acid, would he see people? 
If humans get a charley horse, what do horses get? 
If humans have nightmares, what do horses have? 
If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet? --Steven Wright 
If I save time, when do I get it back? 
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? 
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 
If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? --Dennis Miller 
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? 
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? 
If our knees were on the backs of our legs, what would chairs look like? 
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of? 
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? 
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? 
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags? 
If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers? 
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do? 
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? 
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? 
If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it? 
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? --Art Hoppe 
If time heals all wounds, how come bellybuttons don't fill in? 
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? 
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? 
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? 
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? 
If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club? 
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? 
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? 
If you didn't get caught, did you really do it? 
If you get into a taxi cab, and ask the driver to drive backwards to your destination, will the cab driver owe you money? 
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey? 
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight? 
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? 
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? 
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? 
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? 
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons? 
If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn? 
If you're a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it? 
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? 
In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so? 
Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers? 
Is "tired old cliché" one? 
Is a castrated pig disgruntled? 
Is a halfback more valuable than a quarterback? 
Is a sleeping bull a bull-dozer? 
Is a small pig called a hamlet? 
Is an oxymoron a really dumb bovine? 
Is drilling for oil boring? 
Is duck tape made out of ducks? 
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon? 
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? 
Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky? 
Is the nose the scenter of the face? 
Is this bull**** or fertilizer? 
Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft?


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## Tianimalz (Jan 6, 2009)




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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

That's quite a bit of "whys", GH! :lol:


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## tempest (Jan 26, 2009)

"If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet? --Steven Wright"

I know it's rhetorical, but I can answer this one. No, dry ice can never be a liqiud and turns instantly from a solid to a gas through a process called sublimation. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the science lesson. 

And for everyone else to ponder:
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? (because they're not from Holland, they're from the Netherlands)

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. 

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person that drives a race car is not called a racist? 

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? 

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

How come no one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning? 

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? 

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream container?

And my personal favorite, "If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?"


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## Tianimalz (Jan 6, 2009)

> If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
> ​


I see that one surfing the internet a lot, love it :rofl:


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

Golden Horse said:


> Can fat people go skinny-dipping?


Here's the answer to this one GH, one of my all time favorite pool signs!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

MHFoundation Quarters said:


> Here's the answer to this one GH, one of my all time favorite pool signs!
> View attachment 78329



DAMMIT, I thought I had got all the negatives back from that one


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## Red Gate Farm (Aug 28, 2011)

I know the braille instructions one.

For cost efficiency, all those type of number pads are manufactured the same, whether or not they will be used indoors or outdoors.

What I'd like to know is, when snow melts, where does the white go?


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## Gallop On (May 1, 2011)

Why did my grandmother always have to embarrass me when I took her to the store by running people over in the those little driving carts?

Why is it that I sometimes see perfectly normal and healthy people riding in them?

Why is it, on the Walmart logo that they say "Always Low Prices" well, if that's true, then shouldn't everything be free by now?









Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs? 

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours? 

Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?


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## Allison Finch (Oct 21, 2009)

> At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?



HAHA!! I have always wondered, too. I solve it by taking BOTH of them, BWAHAHA!!!


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## Gallop On (May 1, 2011)

Allison Finch said:


> HAHA!! I have always wondered, too. I solve it by taking BOTH of them, BWAHAHA!!!


:lol: Haha, taking both is the simple solution, _unless_ the person next to you is thinking the same thing, then, your screwed.


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## Allison Finch (Oct 21, 2009)

No, then we FIGHT!!! MINE!!


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## Gallop On (May 1, 2011)

Allison Finch said:


> No, then we FIGHT!!! MINE!!
> 
> Mine mine mine (Finding Nemo) - YouTube


LOL... I don't even want to know if you are above the age of 20 and still listen to Finding Nemo... Dont tell me ;D :lol:


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

Allison Finch said:


> No, then we FIGHT!!! MINE!!
> 
> Mine mine mine (Finding Nemo) - YouTube


When I saw the cartoon while back for whatever reason I've heard "Mike" instead of "Mine" (when I re-watched it I realized I was wrong). LOL!


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## Paintlover1965 (May 22, 2009)

I love the movie Finding Nemo once you get past the frightening opening scene. Why do kids movies always make me cry?


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