# Anyone have Fear or Confidence Issues?



## Hoofprints (Feb 25, 2010)

I have been a trainer for many years and am developing a workshop to help people overcome fear and build a confident realtionship with their horse. I am interested in hearing your stories - What you have experienced and how you overcame your fears or if you are still struggling.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

I'll play.

I'd always been a pretty fearless rider and never had a problem getting on any horse. All that changed 3 years ago in May.

I have an older gelding, who although a little cranky and opinionated, I rode occasionally with no problems.

Windy, fairly cold day for May, and he was acting up. Meh, I've dealt with horses like that over the years, so I proceeded to swing myself up into the saddle. He literally _exploded_ out from under me, bucking like a rodeo horse.

I came off, wasn't more than mildly bruised and annoyed, so tried again. My trainers had always told me, "Don't let the horse win. If he gets you off and you stay off, he'll be that much harder to ride the next time."

That advice had always worked well before, and I figured all I was going to do since he wanted to be a beast was get on, ride him around the paddock a little, and then I'd get off. That way, he wouldn't have won the battle.

I went to mount up again, and this time he meant _business_. I wasn't even in the saddle all the way when he started bucking and leaping around. I came off HARD that time; broke 3 ribs on my left side, my right collarbone, and got a major concussion. Sucked to be me!

It took me quite awhile to heal, and at the end of July that year I lost the horse I could always go to and ride. He never intentionally hurt me, and was always my confidence builder.

Being hurt badly like that, plus losing my once-in-a-lifetime, crushed the spirit out of me. I wasn't just afraid to ride, I was _terrified._ The mere _idea_ of getting back in the saddle made me nauseous, and I'd shake like a leaf in a thunderstorm.

So my two remaining horses just lazed around, eating and getting fatter and more out of shape.

After 8 months of not riding, I decided it was unacceptable for me to own horses and never get back up in the saddle. For some people a bad accident means they never ride again. For me, it wasn't something I was willing to give up without a fight.

I knew I'd never ride again if I didn't get professional help, so I found a local trainer and explained my issues to her. She told me she'd dealt with people like me before, and was confident she could get me back in the saddle.

The first horse I rode was a kind, calm, schoolmaster older mare, who doesn't have a mean bone in her body. Even then, it took me almost 10 minutes to get up the courage to actually get _on_ the horse. Once I was in the saddle, I was fine. 

As I discovered, my phobia is _mounting_, not actually riding. Once I'm on the horse and they're not acting like a total loon, I'm mostly the rider I remember being.

My trainer pushed me when it was necessary, and gave me room to work things out on my own when it wasn't. She more or less let _me _decide when it was time to move on to a more difficult horse.

I'm now riding my own horses, except for the older gelding who hurt me. I had a vet come out and look him over, and she discovered he has arthritis in his hocks. He also has the beginnings of what we suspect is COPD. So he's retired now, and enjoying his life as a companion to my other horses.

I still have moments of near panic when I'm swinging up in the saddle, and they come at the oddest times. It has nothing to do with the horse himself or what he's doing, it has to do with my own state of mind. 

It doesn't happen every time and not very often, but I'm still working on that issue. Will I ever overcome it completely? I don't know, to be honest. But at least I'm not letting it keep me from riding.

I think a workshop to help people face and overcome their fears is wonderful. There are so many people out there who _want_ to ride again, but don't know how to find the right trainer or program to get them back in the saddle.


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## luvmyperch (Oct 5, 2009)

I have battled with this off and on for 10 years. I had the usual bad accident when I was a kid, then a few out of control huge hot TBs when I was a teenager. Nothing that really bothered me until after I _stopped_ riding regularly. In my 20s, I tried to find ways to be involved with horses again, but taking lessons on unfamilar horses had me panicking when I couldn't tell how they were going to react. I began to assume that every horse I got on would take off at the drop of a hat. Making matter worse, after all the years off my seat was awful and I couldn't regain my balance. In the back of my mind, I knew that if someone did take off on me, the chances of staying on were slim. I've worked really hard to swallow my fear, find ways to have small victories to rebuild my confidence, and stick to calm, laid back horses. I still have brief moments of gripping fear, but they are less often and not as severe. Unfortunately, it reared its ugly head in last night's lesson when Danny was getting "fresh" at the canter, and I panicked after a few times of feeling like I was losing control. Ready to burst into tears, I bailed and my trainer finished the ride with him. 

I would LOVE to attend a workshop like this in my area! I think fear and lack of confidence is something that is more prevalent than we realize, particuarly in adults. But, you're not supposed to admit it, not supposed to talk about it, and "toughen up" to deal with it. Unfortunately, that only leads to frustration and giving up!


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## Jacksmama (Jan 27, 2010)

This is not something that really hampers my riding, but it is something that is always niggling at the back of my mind. I love to ride outside in the open. To just meander around the surrounding fields and woods. I've been run off with a time or two in open spaces, but I am always able to get them back under control pretty quickly. However, the last time my gelding was spooked by a passing motorcycle and ran straight in front of a semi. Thank GOD the semi was going slow! The semi stopped and the man on the motorcycle turned off the bike until I could get him calmed enough to get away from the road again. THANK YOU MR BIKER!!!!!! He is normally good with traffic, and i stay a good distance away from the roads, but he hates motorcycles. When I leave a pasture or arena I am super sensitive and on guard for them to act silly. I know this could very possibly be transferred to the horse, so I take a few deep breaths and try to calm myself down. Its getting better, I don't let it interfere, but it is still a very real fear in the back of my mind. Since then we have worked pretty hard on desensitizing to vehicles, motorcycles, birds, etc...


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## Draftgirl17 (Dec 26, 2009)

Two falls ago i had a bad fall from my gelding. It certainly wasn't the worst thing ever because i've heard stories of pretty bad falls. But i was and still am VERY new to this. Yes he was inexperienced and i realize i probably shouldn't have been doing it but we were taking things VERY slowly. Only worked a little at a time and ALWAYS left on a good note. Well one day i was trotting him very little (we had trotted a little before) and he had done so well up to this point, he trusted me and i trusted him however something caused him to buck a little and i meant to stop him but the reins were not even and when i pulled back i pulled him to the left more and to the left was a pine tree, well seeing that he wheeled around and started bucking and running, well the saddle i was using didn't have a bucking strap and as the saddle bounced it would go higher and higher and me as well, i almost rode out the whole thing but i fell off and i held onto the reins for a bit and i ended up getting rolled backwards. I only was bruised up but i was terrifed! I did get back on him even though i didn't want to, and he was really sorry, he kept coming up to me and putting his head to mine and stuff. After that though i was scared to even ride again. I made up every excuse in the book. My mom would be like, you should go ride and i made no effort to. I was just so scared of falling off again and breaking something. I'm very short and he's on the taller side so it was quite a ways down for me. Well we got a new mare and she was already started undersaddle and she was by no means 100% broke BUT she was ridden quite a bit and she was for the most part safe, she even cantered and didn't buck! But i was still afraid. However after this year, seeing how much fun everyone had and how much people believed i could do it and were perhaps a bit disappointed i did not ride her at any shows this year (i was not experienced enough and i didn't want a dangerous situation) i realized that i wanted to ride again. I realized that sometimes thats how things go and I started to be mentored by a family friend and he really gave me a confidence boost. He believes in me and has given me tips to becoming better, not to mention he doesn't take any crap. So I started slowly with her working my way up to be comfortable off the lead. Now i'm finally off the lead (during christmas vacation i rode her off the lead!!!) and i'm okay with trotting, now i'm going to work on trotting with no one leading me around and then work my way up to english saddle and posting. If i don't get there, it won't be the end of the world but its a goal. I feel like i've come a long way since then.


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## Citrus (Feb 26, 2010)

I don't have a story to add but was wondering if you could add anything to share about building a child's confidence once they have fallen off.


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## PaintsPwn (Dec 29, 2009)

My biggest fear is being bucked off, or taking a fall WITH my horse. I have no problem falling off, I bounce right up (usually!) 

I think the falling fear came from when I was riding a fox trotter when I was SUPER green, and I had him going along and he slipped in the mud and went to his knees. That hurt my confidence a lot in the beginning. To this day I hate riding in mud and I simply avoid it at all costs.

*Edit: I should specify on the bucking.. I've been thrown, and I've ridden through bucking, but I always have this fear of a horse going super bronc on me, me falling and getting crushed, or the horse flipping... I've visualized it in my head several times, but it's never happened.


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## rocky pony (Oct 5, 2007)

I had the weirdest problem. This all happened extremely recently..
I never had a problem riding any horse, even horses who were known buckers and who would try to buck me off or do anything else..there was nothing a horse could do to keep me off.
I had been riding all sorts of horses but my actual horse was a pony, and it was time for me to get a true horse. He's a very willing, very well-behaved, very well-trained TB. I rode him a couple of times and things went fine, but during a very early ride I was working at the trot on the lunge line with my trainer (I had gotten very much out of shape and out of practice because I had somewhat recently had a pretty long-term unrelated injury that had only affected my ability, not my mentality) and he picked up a canter, and there was a bit of a miscommunication/misunderstanding asking him to slow down which caused him to slam on the breaks which caused me to fly and I got hurt pretty bad.
Once I was able to get back in the saddle I was excited, but was a little nervous getting in the saddle..and became more and more nervous as I rode. I stayed at a walk, and that pretty much sums up the rest of my rides for several months. Walking around, me nervous and him noticing my nervousness and therefore becoming more spooky and making me more nervous. Eventually I was barely riding at all. This is where I've been for the LONGEST time. Nothing I could do could get me back to normal, and TBH I've always been a little..proud about my confidence in my riding and took a break from lessons. My trainer has been aware of what's going on, but I've just been afraid to face her with it. I felt that I needed to get to a better place before I could work with her. Stupid on my part, but..
Anyway, this is stupid but you know what helped me? The dumbest things I can think of to solve this problem. Buying a new saddle and falling off. I bought a saddle that I absolutely love and had been admiring for years. As soon as I got it, I felt like I wanted to ride again, in order to ride in it, haha. So the day I bought it I went out to ride it. By the time I got to the stable it was late and chilly and my guy was a bit jumpier, but my excitement over the new saddle got me..well..in the saddle. So I walk him around as usual, nervous..then something spooks him really bad, he takes off, I pull one rein to stop him but not hard enough and eventually I fly off and am unharmed. I JUMPED off of the ground with a huge grin on my face and couldn't wait to get back on. I was just laughing and laughing..the people who were there watching me ride were so confused. But I swear, the second I hit the ground, I felt like a normal rider again. Between the saddle and the fall..I'm riding every day and I'm not scared of a thing he does, so he's getting confidence in me again. I'm so thrilled. I've spent so long feeling so angry with myself over this. Feeling like I couldn't ride was ruining my confidence in every part of my life.
I swear, I think my mind had just convinced itself that I couldn't fall off without getting hurt like that again! I'm sure this wouldn't help most people who have that kind of fear, but it certainly helped me, haha

Anyway..I apologize for going on, it's a nasty habit of mine..D:


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## MIEventer (Feb 15, 2009)

*I have a fear of Stadium Fences!*

Never used too, they never phased me at all - until a couple of summers ago. 

I was preparing for an Event with my Coach, working on our Stadium and things were going great! We worked on our course and everything was fluid and rhythmic and I was feeling quite confident.

My Coach then set up 1 jump, an oxer and had us go over it in a circle, time and time again. She started the fence at 2'7"ish...and gradually increased it until we got to 2'11" which is Novice height.

I thought we were done, but my coach said to go over it one more time, so we followed our regular circle, and on approach to the fence for the final time, it looked bigger than 2'11".

All I could do was focus on the height of the fence. "Man, that's big" and I stared at it. As most of us know, we aren't supposed to focus on the fence, but focus on our horse and allow the fence to come to us, not have us race to the fence.

Well, I didn't do that - I was entirely focused on the fence, forgot my horse, stopped riding and just wanted to get the jump over and done with.

Well, about 1 stride out, I dropped my horse. Let go of my leg and got ahead of him - which caused him to stop dead in his tracks. I flipped head over heels, flew like superman face first into the fence, smashed through it and landed on my back in a pile of fence rubble.

I thought I broke my nose, seeing blood on me and since I hit the fence face first. Nope....it was a metal jump cup embedded in my right arm. Still have the scar to remind me.

Even though we cleaned me up and wrapped my arm with gauze and vet wrap, I still finished my lesson and compeated that weekend and won first place out of 15 competators in my category - but afterwords...it sunk in.

Everytime I ride amongst stadium fences...I freeze. I cannot get that accident out of my head. I cannot stop thinking about the what will happen. I look at those fences, and see man eating piles of wood. 

They are open, spacious, uninviting to my eye, not fun at all.

Since then, I haven't jumped a whole lot, and definately nothing over 2'0". Friends will set up a course for me to jump, and set the fences at 2'6" - but when I look at them, I think they are 3'3". We get into arguements because they swear they are 2'6", but to my eye they are way above 3'0" and I'll leave the arena.

I have to get over this rediculous fear of these stupid rediculous fences....because I'm an Eventer, and I wont beable to compete or reach my goals to be at 1* if I don't defeat this fear.


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## Jillyann (Mar 31, 2009)

I dont have any stories, but just wanted to say, some of the stories above are so sad!! =((


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## xxBarry Godden (Jul 17, 2009)

As a rider of 35 years or more during which time I have ridden a 100 or more horses - who knows how many - including riding in several different countries
I believe that a serious fall, especially one invoking shock and maybe concussion, can bring about what I call "Post Traumatic Fall Disorder".

We do not ride with our conscious brains, we learn to ride by rote - constant repetition. The instant responses we need to keep up on a horse's back are taken in by our sub conscious brain. If a horse shies, then we have to have responded to that shy before in some cases our conscious brain has recognised that a shy has taken place. When driving a car, if another car comes up from the side, then we have braked or turned (or both) before we have visually recognised the situation.

The problem is that our sub conscious brain has reacted to a threat to the body's well being. It is well possible in regular horse riding that similar threats have been faced before but since nothing too serious has happened previously then the brain has shrugged it off. But once serious physical damage has been done - eg if the spine has been bruised or the head banged - then the sub conscious starts to think for itself. It sends out little signals and says - "Oi take more care".

The problem with horse riding is that 'tension' is an enemy. If the rider grips or goes rigid then the body's ability to react in a split second is negated.
The body can't absorb the stresses.
There is a second problem too, the horse can sense the tension in the rider.
Then the horse starts to ask itself why the rider is tense "WHat's going on?" asks the horse - "should I be worried too".

The psychologist might say that the human brain is as good at remembering as the horse is - and the human brain remembers other fears, unrelated to horse riding, which may also be worrying the individual.

How does one cope? Well first one accepts that there is a problem.
Then one learns as much as possible about relaxation techniques.
Then one goes back to the training arena to learn to sit and relax on a horse - one will need professional help for this. 
Then one asks oneself if this horse riding is what one really wants to do.
Then one allows 'time' to do its healing magic.

Me, well I fell off my horse whilst it was bolting downhill at full gallop and did my self a serious mischief. I got back on after that fall and rode home in a daze.
Then it happened again a couple of months later but not quite so bad next time, just a few minor bruises.
Then I got myself another horse and I came off her, four times within a month.
Each time the physical damage was minimal but the tension was getting worse. 
It then came home to me what everyone was saying - I was too tense to ride and I had not recognised it. It was time then for me to seek help.

I can ride now. But do I enjoy it like I used to? - well not really. It will take time. 
But at least I have recognised the problem and that is half the battle. 
Time is also the great healer.
I may also have an ageing problem - but that is my particular burden to bear not the average rider's burden.
I did write a short book on the subject but it will never be published.

The subject of PTFD needs more research. Humans have the ability now to analyse scenarios and to take measurements. If we measured the forces involved in falling off a horse onto a hard surface we would realize just how vulnerable we humans are. 

Barry G


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## KrystaLake (Feb 12, 2010)

I have/had a confidence issue on big horses. I bought a big young (2.5) Percheron for my husband. Was riding him one day and out of no were he bucked me off. (A REAL buck, and i still havent figured out why, best we can tell is excitement and I was asking him to slow down.) Any ways it was a LONG fall and I landed on my neck/head and rolled. I thankfully had a helmet on, otherwise I fear it would have been much worse. I suffered from migraines for 2 years after that, as he had screwed up my neck, my neck is now straight, when it should have a curve. Anyways I finally cantered this horse the other day for the first time since he bucked me off a few days ago. (He will be 6 this year) Was VERY proud of myself. So I think I am finally overcoming my fear. 

That was my first lesson in learning that I could get hurt on horses. Learned it again a 1.5 ago when I was riding a green horse that decided to dart to the side and I lost my seat and fell under her where I was trampled and dislocated my knee.


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## xxBarry Godden (Jul 17, 2009)

Hoofprints.
Rehabilitation of a fearful rider is a very serious business. As the therapist you would be playing with a human's psyche. At stake is the future of both the horse and the rider. At some stage in the process, the afflicted rider must get back on board an animal whose very basic instinct is to run away from anything unfamiliar. Fear rules in such scenarios.

I have been a horse rider for a long time. I have owned 6 of my own horses. My hobbies in life have been scuba diving and flying - other adrenaline sports. I never underestimate the impact of fear on a human and I have myself experienced 'terror' more than once.

The need for a rehabilitation centre, I agree exists. But any progress comes about in the presence of both horse and the rider.

In such work there is a need for a team of experts eg: both horse and human psychologists, rider trainer, horse trainer, physiotherapist & sports therapist. There is also a requirement for a small herd of bomb proof horses.

One has to take on board that there is no quick fix for this ailment although time itself is a great healer.

I came to the conclusion that this is a venture for a Sports University not particularly a commercial venture - the costs would be too high. I can imagine that other dangerous sports have a similar requirment for example climbers and skiers.

It will be interesting to hear what organisation you feel you can put together.

B G


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## trailhorserider (Oct 13, 2009)

I am a fearful person by nature. I don't even like driving a car! But I was never really afraid of horses until I bought a pair of horses that came together. 

I was ignorant and rode both horses, but never away from each other. But I bought them and brought them home and discovered they were so buddy sour that they wouldn't leave each other willingly. 

The mare (the horses I thought I really wanted) took to rearing and refusing to leave our property. I never got physically hurt, but mentally she really got me scared. She had me so frightened that when I got on my old, gentle horses I had butterflies. Now that's bad, because the old horses I had had for like 10 years and they were in their 20's and had never hurt me. But the fear spread over to them. 

And the little gelding that came with her was a bit sneakier. He went away from the barn but always felt like he was going to pull something. I told myself that I was just afraid of him because of her. And then one day when a family member was riding him, he freaked out (because he was quite a ways ahead of the group), slammed into reverse and fell over backwards. Luckily the rider was unhurt. 

So after that I knew BOTH of them had to go. And I paid a horse trader to take them and sell them at auction. I lost a lot of money on that transaction, but the worst part was that I was hurt mentally. I must let you know that I am anti-slaughter for the most part, and I hope the horses found real homes with people who were braver than me, but that was when my innocence with horses was lost. I used to think that if you loved them enough you could work through anything, but those two horses shattered that. I am now a really paranoid horse buyer. 

I did regain my confidence for the most part, because now I have two lovely trail horses that I feel comfortable enough to ride alone. But the whole situation left me with a mental scar that I don't know if I will ever get over completely. Every horse that is a stranger to me reminds me of the evil duo and I don't trust them until they prove that they are good horses and not like the evil duo. I guess I have trust issues. What's sad is that I used to assume all horses were good. Now I tend to assume they are bad until they prove otherwise. :-(

But my Mustang was a gift from God, because who would think you would regain your confidence with a Mustang? But he is the most perfect horse I have ever owned. And now I have a lovely Foxtrotter who seems to have nothing but the sweetest and best intentions. So maybe time will heal the wounds eventually.


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## heyycutter (Sep 26, 2009)

i have an intense fear of the horse falling over on me around a tight circle. likea motorcycle tipping over. it happened to me when i was about 10 when i was riding up to a jump, and this past fall when cutter fell with me and i sliced my jaw open from the fall and required lots of stitches in my face. 
i want to show in the summer but i dont think i can canter the whole course bc of the sharp turns. ill probubly trot the turns lol
i hate my phobia


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## Bek (Jan 14, 2010)

I've never had issues with fear before. 6 months ago I fell off and due to injuries I couldn't ride for 4 months. But it wasn't a big deal, just counted down the days and as soon as the doctor said I was fine to ride I was back on the horse. It was great. Maybe being a teenager has a lot to do with it, the whole invincibility idea. 
I fell off about two weeks ago, and this time broke a vertebrae in my back. No more riding for the next 9 months. I can walk if I wear a back brace but not for very long. I know if I get back on a horse I will have a ton of confidence issues. I think hurting my back has sort of put things into perspective for me, that horseriding can very easily put you into a wheelchair.


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## HooverH (May 17, 2008)

Let me start by saying I have never been bucked, thrown, or even fallen off a horse. I actually tried to fall off Hoover, but always caught myself. I've never had an injury beyond a few scrapes. I love horses, but have always had a terrible fear when first mounting, and for a while of falling or having the horse take off with me.

As to the first, I haven't found a solution. I just suck it up and get on. I guess it only makes sense, as it's a particularly vulnerable time for a rider...one foot in the air, only partial control of the reins, etc. 

The second Hoover fixed for me, in an odd way. We were having an argument about turning, and he gave up and fell over. On me. We both got scraped up...my elbow and his nose, and it winded me horribly. He came over and started pulling my shirt he was so worried. After a half an hour talking to my instructor to understand why this had happened, I got back on him. While I was scared at first, I fixed the problem (which had been my mistake), proved that Hoover would wait for me if I did fall, and learned falling didn't hurt all that badly.

The third is from an incident. I was riding with a friend, and the barn she was at had given me a hot mare, which I didn't know. Her owner ran her the trail we were riding. She fought me and fought me to go faster until we reached a massive downhill...and she took off. I had her chin in her chest and she didn't care. She took a three foot high tree trunk, charged across the creek in the valley, and started up the other hill weaving through the trees. I finally got her stopped, and nearly fell out of the saddle, clinging to a tree and bawling. In retrospect, she had beautiful form and it felt like flying, but at the time I was convinced I was going to die. Ever since this, when riding a horse downhill, I had a moment of crushing fear that this will happen again, even with Hoover, even with our sweetest, most level-headed lesson horse, Pappy. I have to admit, it has gotten better with time and knowledge of the horse I'm riding, but it comes right back if the trail or horse is unfamiliar.

The other thing that my trainer has done for me is forcing me to ride spooks, which has really built my confidence. I can specifically remember riding Duke with her riding Drift...Drift is losing sight in one eye, and spooked badly. I was suddenly facing the other direction with Duke tearing across the paddock, and me crunched up with a death grip on the horn. And I suddenly realized...how is Duke supposed to know I want him to stop? So I did as I had been trained...dug my feet into the stirrups and leaned back, slowing pulling him up. 

I guess a lot of my fear is situations I don't know how to react to, and making them worse instead of better. Knowing how handle them seems to be the key to me dealing with the fear better.


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## xxBarry Godden (Jul 17, 2009)

Nearly everyone I know who owns a horse, has experienced in their riding career a serious incident which either did or could have led to injury. I know quite a few people who have broken their backs.

The scenarios which the rider remembers the details of present one type of problem. Bit by bit the rider can put together the key elements and the rider can work out what went wrong. The rider can then learn from the incident and can form a plan as to how to cope in future.

The scenarios which can give serious long term problems are those which the rider cannot remember in full probably because of loss of consciousness. Shock does funny things to people. The brain which controls our reactions does remember though - it is this auto response brain which we have to re-educate
and that is not easy. 

The gripping, the tensing of the thigh muscles, the clenching of the glutes, the pressure on the stirrups,
the tightening of the calves, the rigid posture, the shortening of the reins, the leaning forewards, the panic, then the anger. Once you recognise that you are tensing then you can relax bit by bit - with practice. 

The horse meanwhile is asking itself -"what's going on?". It is looking about. It shortens its steps, the ears start to twitch. It pulls at the bit; it reaches down. Then it does a little shy. Then it does a full shy and comes off the ground. Then it stops and refuses to go forwards. The rider kicks it on and the horse goes into trot then canter.
The chain of events is so predictable.

Probably the only solution is to suppress the fears in the first place. Although you may have a mental image of what to do for the best - how do you persuade that part of the brain over which you have little control?

Someone actually suggested to me hypnosis.
For others it is a change of horse.
For most - time off from horse riding - with the risk that then one will not get back on.

To conquer the fear and its side effects one first must recognise it. Then one needs some very sensitive, knowledgeable, experienced, professional help.
And I suspect time.

B G

Perhaps if one does experience such fear one can now better understand one's horse!


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## Mickey4793 (Sep 24, 2009)

I have a fear of falling off my horse.
I used to be 100% fearless of falling, it was great I'd jump anything on any horse!
After 3 falls cross country and a fall in stadium I took it down a notch and started to focus on jumping lower.
Then I got my gelding, and when I started jumping him I jumped him low. I gradually built up to two feet. My horse is a very spooky horse, and when he spooks he doesn't just jump to the side he EXPLODES.
I decided I would try some very very small cross country logs. He was doing good so I progressed father into the field to try one, just one more, no bigger than the last.

When he landed off that jump he exploded, unlike any horse I've ever seen before he bucked me off his back and high into the air, bolting and sending me headfirst into the ground, I sustained a severe concussion and don't remember the rest of that day, it's almost like it didn't happen.

I got back on and haven't jumped much since, shame on me but recently I want to get back into it. Like, small cross rails! 

I had another fall in December, I was riding in the ring alone [which is a rare occurrence, there is usually at least one other horse in the ring] and it was windy. I don't think I had ever ridden my horse alone in the wind, but I didn't even think of that, I wasn't even expecting him to spook or anything.

Well, the wind kicked some ice up onto the arena door and my horse bolted, I stayed on the rail, so to speak, and went hand first into the ground this time. I had to get 4 xrays at this point because my hand is still in pain, and has a huge bump protruding from it to this day.

And that's when it kind of hit me, in all of my years riding my horse is the only horse that has really hurt me. I've fallen off many horses to get up with little scratches and nothing more, I've been thrown into jumps, thrown off spooking horses, I flew off one horse cross country who bolted off course randomly and decided to fly back to the barn. I fell off a little POA pony at a prelim sized bounce and the pony actually jumped over me and never before have I been hurt, but with my 16.2 hand appendix horse his falls have hurt me extremely bad. And I still feel the effects of the last one! 

So now when I ride I'm so conscience that it's disturbing, I'm constantly anticipating something to cause my horse to spook and me to fall, but for some reason I'm just amazing at hiding this. I can make it so my fears don't translate into my riding so as not to encourage my horses own nerves.

But I don't want to be afraid to fall, cause I know everytime I fall and get hurt I lose more and more confidence, and it's bringing me down.


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## xxBarry Godden (Jul 17, 2009)

Mickey- two things:

Don't be worried about confessing your fear - you need to be honest with not only yourself but with your horsey friends. You need their encouragement and you need their understanding. There must be no pressure on you to jump or to compete but there should be gentle encouragement for you to ride out on nice days when the horse seems to be relaxed. 

Do flatwork in the arena - walk, trot, canter, changes of pace, changes of direction, shoulder ins, pole work - all that fancy dressage stuff. 

Secondly - by the sound of what you have written, you need a good instructor to watch you riding to make sure you are not tensing up. My guess is that you still are. If your own sharp, sensitive horse does pick up that you are tense, then it will not receive back from you the confidence it needs to have when riding out. If you come to feel any anger, any need to shout at the horse, then you will know your fear is still working through your system.

Look up the Dr Alexander web site and read about relaxation techniques.

Take your time.

B G


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## Beling (Nov 3, 2009)

I deal with fear in two ways: 1)I keep the back door open. In other words, I tell myself, _you can just stop this whenever you want_. You're not being forced to canter/cross a stream/whatever. It gives me a breathing space, and almost always, I will proceed.

2) Company, on foot. If I'm in an unpredicatable situation (young horse) I might have a problem _stopping this_, and there's nothing like having an assistant there to _help you escape_. 

My foremost motto is: Safety First. That's the goal, anyway.

Now that I'm older I try not to get into situations where home is on the other side of the obstacle.


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## TheRoughrider21 (Aug 25, 2009)

I had some issues with a horse that I could not form a bond with...I felt like I was training a brick wall everytime I brought her in from the pasture. Besides the fact it took me 2 hours to catch her. Riding her...well that was an experince. I lost confidence after her and took bout 5 months away from horses to straigthen myself out. That was 2 years ago and I really don't think I'm the same rider I was before. I know I can stay on bucks and horses that have just been trained and that I am a good rider, but sometimes its like I have no faith in myself. A workshop for nervous or lost confidence riders is great...I wish I had one around here.


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## Hoofprints (Feb 25, 2010)

Wow. That is a great story. Thank you for your support and encouragement. I wonder what it is about the love of horses that motivates people to face their fears. I have taught people that are so fearful and I wonder why they continue to want to ride.


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## Hoofprints (Feb 25, 2010)

*Is your child motivated to ride*



Citrus said:


> I don't have a story to add but was wondering if you could add anything to share about building a child's confidence once they have fallen off.


I am working on this issue but two things come to mind. One is that people must be motivated to overcome fear. So how much does the child want to ride. When I was a kid it seemed like nothing could keep me off a horse. Assuming someone is motivated, I think it comes back to taking baby steps. Go slow and make sure you have a quiet mount. The third thing that comes to mind is what is the true source of the lack of confidence. That can be tricky. For example someone may appear to fearful of horses but the true source of the fear could be the fear of looking inadequate or the fearful individual gets more attention than when they actually particpate. Hope these thoughts are helpful.


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## snazzydandy (Jan 7, 2010)

My story- I started riding when I was 4 and didnt stop till I was about 39, I still had my horses but for family reasons(became my mothers caretaker as she was hit by alzheimers) then when I was 45 I was able to continue with my passion of horse riding.. Now I don't do anything fancy, just trail ride and enjoy. My horses were now 20, so we purchased 2 more one for me and one for my husband.Nov 12 2008 my best friend and I saddled up to ride,, I barley had my bottom in the saddle when the next thing I knew I was on the ground and I ended up with a knee like a football. It was my fault, not the mares I put my knee in her side and she moved like she was trained to do. None the less, when ever I would sit on another horse I would almost want to upchuck.. I had trainer friend freshen up my old 20 yr old gelding,, who didnt need any freshening up. He rode out like a dream. My friend would have to remind me the first few times I rode, breathe , breathe. It has taken me almost a year to be able to get on a horse and relax and enjoy. My old guy was my key and cofidence builder, he is my best friend and I know and trust him..My old guy is the grey with red freckles on the left.(Quad)


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## xxBarry Godden (Jul 17, 2009)

Folks

I am going to post my own story on a new thread entitled: Post Traumatic Fall Disorder. It is not a manual
on what everyone should do - but it will tell in outline what I have pursued in order to get back to the daredevil state that I was 2 years ago.
The truth is for me that that will not happen - other health issues have intervened. 

But the point I am trying to make is that it can happen to us all after a serious fall. We need to recognize the symptoms, come to terms with the impact and work on healing ourselves with the encouragement of our horsey friends. 

Suppressed fear, accompanying tension and anger are the enemies, we have to learn somehow how to control them.

B G


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## TheRoughrider21 (Aug 25, 2009)

Hoofprints said:


> I am working on this issue but two things come to mind. One is that people must be motivated to overcome fear. So how much does the child want to ride. When I was a kid it seemed like nothing could keep me off a horse. Assuming someone is motivated, I think it comes back to taking baby steps. Go slow and make sure you have a quiet mount. The third thing that comes to mind is what is the true source of the lack of confidence. That can be tricky. For example someone may appear to fearful of horses but the true source of the fear could be the fear of looking inadequate or the fearful individual gets more attention than when they actually particpate. Hope these thoughts are helpful.


I totally agree with you. It has so much to do on how much the kid(or adult)really wants to ride or be around horses. Last year, my trainer and me were working with a kid whos horse gave a little crow hop and she fell off. She was scared to get back on. After we talked to her awhile, it came out that she really didn't like horses that much, she was doing it for her mom. We got her on one of the older horses and that was the last ride she took. If she didn't want to work past this fear because she had no motivation, we couldn't make her do something she didn't want to do.


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## HaroldandMaude (Aug 9, 2009)

I have trouble trusting a new horse/a horse I don't really know.

I had a bad accident about 15 years ago ( I was foxhunting a TB that belonged to a friend and he lost his balance and fell on top of my...I broke my pelvis, part of my back and sustained some permanent muscle damage in one of my upper arms) It was the first time I had ridden this horse. I was an extremely competent rider at the time (eventing at pre-lim) and this really shook me to my core.

After I recovered I leased a been there/done that TB and rode him at least 4 time a week. I was scared as heck getting on him to begin with, for my first canter, first jump, first hunter pace, ect. I knew if I didn't do these thing soon after my wreck I would probably never ride again, even though I really wanted to. Also, this horse was just the salt of the earth. He seemed to respect my fear and not take advantage of me. That being said, there were times I got on him when I just felt like I was going to throw up I was so scared!

I still have a niggleing little fear (yes, 15 years later) when I get on a lesson horse or a friends horse for the first time. It doesn't matter if it is a rank OTTB or a child's Connemara! I even was nervous getting on my own mare who I had owned sine she was a baby!

I am a big believer of facing your fears. I also think talking to someone about yor fear makes your fear loosen it's grip on you. As silly as this sounds, positive visualiztion has hhelped me too.


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## damnedEvans (Jan 23, 2010)

I never had a fear when riding or mount a horse even if I'm a really green rider  When a horse that I was riding spooked, bolted and began to canter I fell off . Or more exactly I trow myself of because I loose a stirrup when the horse bolted and I felt very insecure on him without the stirrup and with my lack of experience. I rode only green horses even if I knew that I will surely fall off at a canter or if the horse will bolt. 
My other fall was when the mare I was riding changed direction while cantering. I thought that she was trotting so I forgot to slow her down so when she changed direction I fell off. I have a fear only when I think that the horse can step on me. I always remember when I fell and saw the horse's hooves so close to me. I feel that I'm unable to get myself out of his way and he will step on my arms. 

But my biggest fear is not related to riding, it's related to handling horses. I think that this is because I always dealt with aggressive horses. I'm always tense and cautious around horses that I don't know and even around horses that I know. I'm in a continuous state of alert when I'm around horses because I know that they can bite me anytime. I should mention that I work with a lot of horses that bite and kick. I saw people attacked by horses, and I was kicked when I tried to catch a horse in the pasture, but it was my fault then. I tried to catch a mare that was protective with her food so she kicked me. 
I worked with a horse that would attack anyone if you would approached him at a distance less than two meters. It was impossible to touch him or groom him or catch him in the pasture without being attacked. The hard part was to catch him by the halter (wile being tied) while trying to avoid his mouth and front legs and most important his hind legs. 
And I think that's impossible to overcome my fears while working with dangerous horses. I am able to calm down only near 3 horses that I know that won't attack me or bite me but even with them I avoid the hind legs.


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## whitetrashwarmblood (Aug 24, 2008)

When I first bought Athena she was barely considered broke, and I was not entirely aware how green she was until after I bought her. She was too much horse for me back then. My trainer had to suddenly move, and so I was on my own. With a horse that bolted at random times, spooked at almost everything, and turned into a bronc any time I asked her to canter. She had no idea how to back-up, stop, or turn properly. I felt like I was riding a ticking time bomb. 
She was the only horse I rode more or less for months. I would ride her, but I was extremely cautious. I never could relax while I was on her, and it started to feel more like a chore to ride her. Which it was because she needed training, but I didn't have the guts. I would let my friend ride her, and she would ask her to canter. I would sit on the viewing stand next to the arena with eyes like this ->O.O Like holy crap, she can buck THAT high. lol It got to the point where I didn't want to ride her. I wanted a trail horse, not a project. Most people would say sell her, but I didn't have the heart to do it. 
That summer I went to my friends house in Ohio for almost a month. She has an awesome AQHA gelding, completely bombproof. She let me ride him while I stayed there. We galloped through fields, went on long trail rides, did some jumping. It was fun, and I loved it. I got to remember what it felt like to ride a horse like that. 
I returned from that trip with a new perspective on things. I felt like 'Yea, Athena needs a lot of work, but think of how great she'll be after wards', and I was right. She turned out to be everything I wanted in a horse and more.


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## Hoofprints (Feb 25, 2010)

*I can relate to that for sure. You had a hell of a fall.*

Well I can really relate to that. You had a heck of a fall. And when that happens it really opens you eyes. So I believe you will always have that awareness and a certain amount of caution when you decide to ride. I also had a bad scare but no long lasting damage (if you call 3 years not long lasting) I hurt my back but took up yoga which seeme to resolve my physical issues.



HaroldandMaude said:


> I have trouble trusting a new horse/a horse I don't really know.
> 
> I had a bad accident about 15 years ago ( I was foxhunting a TB that belonged to a friend and he lost his balance and fell on top of my...I broke my pelvis, part of my back and sustained some permanent muscle damage in one of my upper arms) It was the first time I had ridden this horse. I was an extremely competent rider at the time (eventing at pre-lim) and this really shook me to my core.
> 
> ...


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## Hoofprints (Feb 25, 2010)

*You already are a better rider; you just need to recognize it*

Although we are always responsible in some fashion for what happens between us and our horses, it is the recognition of what we missed that enable us to be a better rider. Overcoming the anxiety is a matter of time and building positive experiences. When you find some resolution with the experience in you mind then you will be a better rider.



TheRoughrider21 said:


> I had some issues with a horse that I could not form a bond with...I felt like I was training a brick wall everytime I brought her in from the pasture. Besides the fact it took me 2 hours to catch her. Riding her...well that was an experince. I lost confidence after her and took bout 5 months away from horses to straigthen myself out. That was 2 years ago and I really don't think I'm the same rider I was before. I know I can stay on bucks and horses that have just been trained and that I am a good rider, but sometimes its like I have no faith in myself. A workshop for nervous or lost confidence riders is great...I wish I had one around here.


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## ElizabethM (Feb 22, 2010)

I am sorry this is so long.

This is something I am right smack in the midst of dealing with.

I have been riding for around 20 years and 3 weeks ago I had my first bad fall. Now I have had some spectacular falls in the past, but this is the first time I actually got hurt. I no longer bounce as I did in my younger days.

As many of you have said, I too was once a FEARLESS rider. I started many young horses and spent many hours on very green horses and "problem" horses. I not only was unafraid, but fealt I was MEANT for the back of horse, born for it.

When I got married several years ago my husband bought us a tiny house on 5 acres, knowing it had aways been my dream to have my horse at home. At the time I had my once-in-a-lifetime horse, a TB mare I had gotten as a yearling and trained myself. She became the most "bombproof" easy going horse I have had the privlidge to know. 

When we moved to our house I no longer had other horses to ride and between wanting to spend every waking moment with my husband, working in town and then eventually having a baby, I didn't get to ride much. When I finally started being able to ride regularly again I lost my mare at the age of 13 to liver failure. That was a year and a half ago and I still struggle with her loss every day.

By that time I been spoiled with riding only an angel of a horse for the past 5 or 6 years.

Then I got Lenore, my 5 1/2 year old TB mare. She came from a rescue that bought her out of the kill pen at a local auction. Her history is unknown other than the previous owner stated she had not been started under saddle. So Lenore came to me either unhandled or mistreated. I am still not sure wich.

Lenore is a somewhat sterotypical TB. She is easily spooked, always wary and very sensitive. I started her under saddle a little over a year ago, but her training has been somewhat spotty due to various circumstances.

A few weeks ago I was riding her in our field. She had been doing so well lately I had asked my husband if he would take pictures. I made several mistakes during the ride. I was excited about the pictures. I rushed through our normal routine, payed little attention to signs she was showing of being a little off and had perhaps not spent enough time on certain aspects of her training.

While warming her up I mentioned to my husband, who was working in the garage, that Lenore was very nervous/antsy, but continued about my business without a lot of thought to it. 

While riding in the field I noticed my neighbor right behind us was out. I was near the corner of fence we shared and raised my hand up to wave. Lenore spooked a bit at my hand raising near her head, but I told her to knock it off and thought I had her under control....but her little spook began to turn into a big one. She spun around, danced a bit and then headed across the field. I really just do not remember if she was bucking. At some point I realised I would not be able to stay on her and began calling for my husband so that when I did come off, he would be able to divert Lenore out into the field and keep her from going towards the road. A section of our fence is down awaiting new fencing, and I really fear her getting into traffic. 

Next thing I remember I am lying on my side in the dirt in quite a bit of pain and Lenore is just gone.

After my husband managed to get me in the house he went after Lenore. Turns out our neighbors across the way bought a stud horse and turned him loose with their herd. Lenore was over racing the fence line with him.

I rode her again a week or more after the fall, as soon as I was healed up enough to get back on (though still quite quite sore). I have had a few rides on her now, one of them pretty good, but I am still nervous of her.

While I can see the mistakes I made and that the situation was aggrivated by a new stud horse in the area and Lenore quite probably being in heat, I have now developed a good healthy fear. Lenore has always been slightly unpredictable and this unpredictableness had made me wary of her even before the fall. Now I am having serious doubts, not just in her, but in myself. I am no longer the "stay on anything" rider I used to be, and I am unsure where exactly to go from here. My confidence is definately shaken.


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## twh (Feb 1, 2010)

Before this incident happened, I was truly fearless. And I had had bad falls, too, but they never seemed to faze me. I may also add that all my instructors had high hopes for me.

My usual lesson horse was out of commission, so I was put on this pony, who was too small for me. Add that the saddle was also too small for me, and toss in that I was not particularly confident with cantering.

We're cantering. The small saddle keeps pitching me forward. We take a really tight turn, the saddle throws me forward, and I wind up on her neck. She lowers her head, and over I go right in front of her. Her hoof went straight into my cheek, and my sweater got totaled.

I was out of the saddle for two years. My mom had to practically crucify me to get me back on a horse, and I will admit that I almost chickened out when I up on the mounting block about to get on a horse for the first time in two years.

The one thing I was absolutely terrified of was cantering, and we had to come up with some pretty crazy tricks to get me to knock that off.

And now, I finally got my own horse, and I'm hitting mad racehorse speeds w/o breaking a sweat, back to being the fearless nut I was before.


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

I've been riding on and off for about 15 years, and have always been a cautious rider. I took a long break from riding when I could no longer afford it. 

Now, things have changed and I started to lease at a backyard barn. The first horse I leased was definitely a confidence builder, but I really could have used more time with him. He is an older appendix with some leg issues, and wasn't really ride-able for me any longer. I switched my lease to the barn owner's horse, who isn't being leased out to anyone else because he can be a challenge. I have formed a strong bond with this horse, and although he does make me nervous at times, I'm starting to feel somewhat confident on him. 

However, I always have issues riding horses I'm not familiar with. I get nervous, tense up, and then the horse spooks because of it. I wish I knew some way to calm myself down.


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## Hoofprints (Feb 25, 2010)

Thanks for sharing. I really think there is a need out there also and I will keep you posted. Isabel


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## claireauriga (Jun 24, 2008)

This is a different kind of confidence issue, one created by the people you're around ...

Often instructors and stable hands give me a vibe that I'm just not doing well or I'm doing things the wrong way, that they know so much better and could get things done much quicker. This constant judgement stops me from being able to commit fully to an action, whether on the ground or riding, which restricts me and makes me much worse than I could be!

I've noticed that now I'm riding at a friend's stables, amongst people who know I'm not great but that I listen to every correction and learn from my mistakes, I have much more confidence and can act instead of dithering, which gives me much better results. Simply because I now trust I'm allowed to boss the horses around, I no longer jump away from them but have dealt with rearing, pushy foals, and correcting a horse who was testing me to see what he could get away with 

So be aware, you guys, of the effect _you_ have on the beginners around you!


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## Hoofprints (Feb 25, 2010)

*Great Story!*

Great story. Thanks for sharing.



rocky pony said:


> I had the weirdest problem. This all happened extremely recently..
> I never had a problem riding any horse, even horses who were known buckers and who would try to buck me off or do anything else..there was nothing a horse could do to keep me off.
> I had been riding all sorts of horses but my actual horse was a pony, and it was time for me to get a true horse. He's a very willing, very well-behaved, very well-trained TB. I rode him a couple of times and things went fine, but during a very early ride I was working at the trot on the lunge line with my trainer (I had gotten very much out of shape and out of practice because I had somewhat recently had a pretty long-term unrelated injury that had only affected my ability, not my mentality) and he picked up a canter, and there was a bit of a miscommunication/misunderstanding asking him to slow down which caused him to slam on the breaks which caused me to fly and I got hurt pretty bad.
> Once I was able to get back in the saddle I was excited, but was a little nervous getting in the saddle..and became more and more nervous as I rode. I stayed at a walk, and that pretty much sums up the rest of my rides for several months. Walking around, me nervous and him noticing my nervousness and therefore becoming more spooky and making me more nervous. Eventually I was barely riding at all. This is where I've been for the LONGEST time. Nothing I could do could get me back to normal, and TBH I've always been a little..proud about my confidence in my riding and took a break from lessons. My trainer has been aware of what's going on, but I've just been afraid to face her with it. I felt that I needed to get to a better place before I could work with her. Stupid on my part, but..
> ...


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## Hoofprints (Feb 25, 2010)

*Wow!*

Barry, you are so right. It is a very complicated subject. Just think how much we must love what we do to continue facing our fears whether they are realistic or imagined. Thanks for sharing.



Barry Godden said:


> As a rider of 35 years or more during which time I have ridden a 100 or more horses - who knows how many - including riding in several different countries
> I believe that a serious fall, especially one invoking shock and maybe concussion, can bring about what I call "Post Traumatic Fall Disorder".
> 
> We do not ride with our conscious brains, we learn to ride by rote - constant repetition. The instant responses we need to keep up on a horse's back are taken in by our sub conscious brain. If a horse shies, then we have to have responded to that shy before in some cases our conscious brain has recognised that a shy has taken place. When driving a car, if another car comes up from the side, then we have braked or turned (or both) before we have visually recognised the situation.
> ...


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## RadHenry09 (Mar 22, 2009)

claireauriga said:


> This is a different kind of confidence issue, one created by the people you're around ...
> 
> Often instructors and stable hands give me a vibe that I'm just not doing well or I'm doing things the wrong way, that they know so much better and could get things done much quicker. This constant judgement stops me from being able to commit fully to an action, whether on the ground or riding, which restricts me and makes me much worse than I could be!
> 
> ...


 
I def. agree with this as I have been in that same situation.


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## Hoofprints (Feb 25, 2010)

*Excellent*

Excellent input. I have been under the same pressure. I think this is basically the problem that happens in the showring. Now how much is what other people really do or say and how much is what we think they are saying.



RadHenry09 said:


> I def. agree with this as I have been in that same situation.


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## RadHenry09 (Mar 22, 2009)

I can relate to this thread as I rode from the age of 8 . I was raised in a horse family and almost every aunt, cousin etc.. had horses so they were always around me. I was in 4H , trail rode, even did a little jumping during lessons. I never felt any fear even having my own young horse and putting the first few rides on him myself when I was in my early twenties.
As life goes, I had my own baby got out of horses for almost 7 years...except when we rented trail horses for an hour at a local trail riding stable. 
When I met my now husband he kinda inspired me to get back into horses since it was something I loved so much. He said it was all I talked about , watched , read and my house was always decorated with hundreds of breyer horse models! I decided to shareboard a Quarter Horse that was on a farm that a man owned who taught 4H kids gaming. She was a wonderful mare and didnt do anything foolish with me, a real confidence builder. I then met my Mustang who I was told had more training then he did. I am glad that I was smart enough to realize this and not just get on him. I bought him anyway(probably not the best move) and he really put me in some situations I wasnt sure how to handle. Luckily I was never injured, just some bruises(once when I came off of him) I sent him to a trainer 3 yrs ago and things have been much better. I have since then had multiple experienced riders ride him, handle , trail ride him with great results and I have started riding him more this summer. He did spook yesterday at the "scary" corner of the ring. He jumped to the side like a semi reining spin but I was planted securely and just went with him and he calmed down quickly. 
I do own another horse , a Paint that we got mainly for my daughter but has proven himself to be a great family horse. I dont have any confidence issue with him , he cant be a bit stubborn but has never tried anything stupid with any of us riding him, even my 10 yr old daughter.
I have taken lessons, worked with a trainer, watched dvds, read books, attending clinics anything that I can put my hands on to continue being a better rider for my horse.
I still have confidence issue when things are going on around me, if there is a lot of activity around the ring and I feel like my Mustang isnt fully listening to me. It can make me nervous, other more experienced riders watching me makes me nervous....I guess I think they are snickering at me? Which seems stupid but I dont want to look like a fool. I also have confidence issues when cantering so alot of the time I dont even try to ....I can take our Paint outside of ring and ride trails and in the pasture but my Mustang I feel nervous taking him out of the ring. I know he likes riding out better , the ring seems to bore him and he would prefer to be actually going somewhere.
I def. would like to find someone to work with me on these issues but in my area it is hard to find trainers , instructors who are willing to come to you. 
Any more insight on a workshop, clinic etc....on this I would love to know more about it.


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

I used to feel jealous of people who were lucky enough to have horses when they were kids. I always hear about how carefree and fearless they were. No confidence issues whatsoever. Now when I read post after post about people who have since gotten a huge reality check in terms of bad falls, I feel like I might have been the lucky one. I rode on and off through as an adult, but didn't get my own horse until I was 40. From day 1, I've always had a healthy fear/respect for when I'm with my horse. Safety's always been the #1 priority for me. As you already know, when you're an adult, on the way down to the ground, you think about who's going pay the mortgage, feed the dog, clean the house, etc. It's perfectly normal to worry about stuff like that. I've been lucky so far, and I know I'm going to end up on the ground at some point again, but I just don't do anything that temps disaster. I only ride my own horse. If I show up one day for a trail ride and he's acting like a lunatic, we do ring work instead. When we're both in the zone, we'll take things up a notch and run around in the fields and let loose, but I'm always one gear away from full throttle so to speak. It's just not worth getting hurt. I've had a few falls, but nothing that I didn't get back up from right away. I think if my mind had been in the fearless set, I would have taken much bigger spills by now. 

Hopefully none of this came out wrong. My point is simply that fear in small doses is a positive thing and keeps us safe. You already saw your mistake, so that part of your equation is already behind you. You're smart enough to recognize it, and I doubt you'll ever experience such an episode again.


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## RadHenry09 (Mar 22, 2009)

MyBoyPuck said:


> I used to feel jealous of people who were lucky enough to have horses when they were kids. I always hear about how carefree and fearless they were. No confidence issues whatsoever. Now when I read post after post about people who have since gotten a huge reality check in terms of bad falls, I feel like I might have been the lucky one. I rode on and off through as an adult, but didn't get my own horse until I was 40. From day 1, I've always had a healthy fear/respect for when I'm with my horse. Safety's always been the #1 priority for me. As you already know, when you're an adult, on the way down to the ground, you think about who's going pay the mortgage, feed the dog, clean the house, etc. It's perfectly normal to worry about stuff like that. I've been lucky so far, and I know I'm going to end up on the ground at some point again, but I just don't do anything that temps disaster. I only ride my own horse. If I show up one day for a trail ride and he's acting like a lunatic, we do ring work instead. When we're both in the zone, we'll take things up a notch and run around in the fields and let loose, but I'm always one gear away from full throttle so to speak. It's just not worth getting hurt. I've had a few falls, but nothing that I didn't get back up from right away. I think if my mind had been in the fearless set, I would have taken much bigger spills by now.
> 
> Hopefully none of this came out wrong. My point is simply that fear in small doses is a positive thing and keeps us safe. You already saw your mistake, so that part of your equation is already behind you. You're smart enough to recognize it, and I doubt you'll ever experience such an episode again.


 
I def. agree with all of this! You make some good points


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## ridesapaintedpony (Apr 14, 2009)

I am dealing with this myself right now. A year ago I came off my horse. Though nothing was broken, I was hurt and it scared me. I've only ridden him a few times since then. I have ridden older, well broke horses and I admit to becoming afraid if they jump from a spook. 

I've got a trainer working with me and my horse. I'm not sure I'll ever trust him not to hurt me again, even though it really wasn't his fault that he did.


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## corinowalk (Apr 26, 2010)

Up until about 2 months ago..i was the 'mikey' of the barn. We would get in a nasty lil bucker or a rescue we knew nothing about and the response was always the same. Give him to Cori, she'll ride ANYTHING! I am not the person who has the prettiest ride but I have always been a confident person, in riding or in life. All of those nasty horses never gave me much of a challenge. Ive always had enough sense to stop before we get too far. Go figure it would be my own horse to toss me. 
I got Nico for a song-and-a-dance about 6 months ago. He hadn't been ridden for a year because he scared the bejesus out of his last owner. I was honestly never afraid of him, he is always a gentleman on the ground and though he is a hot-head under saddle, hes rarely unmanageable. 
I had been riding him for about 4 months when I came off. It was 110% my fault. I wasn't prepared to ride (i was tired and a bit hungover ) I really didn't want to go on a long trail ride but my girlfriends all bugged me. When I got on him, i knew he was a live wire that day. While I was figeting with my saddle bags and trying to keep him from jigging, my younger friend tore up behind me at a high canter and blazed past me. I was wile-E-coyote for about 2 seconds. He literally ran right out from underneath me. I landed right on my butt (gravity always draws the biggest part to the ground I say! LOL) and wasnt even upset. Nico stopped in 2 paces and walked right back to me. Girlfriend got a tounge lashing and that was it...til it was time to ride the next day. 
I rode him very cautiously for the next month. Only walking and trotting, very little canter and certainly not out in the open. He knew I was afraid and started to take advantage...spooking at everything and wheeling. Every time i was sure I was going to come off. I still struggle with it but I got a huge piece of my confidence back last week. We were on a long extended trail ride (5 hours) and on the way home a flock of motorcycles passed us. This is Nicos biggest trigger. He bucked and cantered in place. I stayed on. I calmed him down and we continued. That was it. It just took something possibly tragic happening and us avoiding it to bring me back to the rider I once was. (sorry bout the novel)


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## ButterfliEterna (May 2, 2010)

I personally, have never suffered a serious injury, but the fear of pain is always lurking there for me. (Be it hind feet, bad landing, etc)

Years ago, my little sister and I attended riding lessons together. Horses had always been big for me, although not so much for Katelyn. 

It took awhile for me to become comfortable with the school horses because the Morgan that the instructor paired me with was very much a hot-head. Loping with him made me uncomfortable, and I told her this. My words fell upon deaf ears. My sister had been paired with a quiet QH, gentle as could be. He took good care of her, and her confidence quickly grew. 

Long story short, new people and horses came to the stables, and I found myself instantly drawn to this gigantic draft cross. We made an excellent team, and loping with him was so easy! (Vivid memory: I was mucking stables for free lessons and accidentally turned out one of the horses with it's halter on. The instructor came out and tongue-lashed me before storming off. She hadn't told me to take the halter off, but assumed I'd notice. I felt terrible. Said draft cross approached me and put his big thick head on my shoulder, as if to comfort me. I've never forgotten him and that moment.) After that, things started to get better for us with working with these horses.

With the new people, however, things changed AGAIN. I was put back on the Morgan and another girl on the draft, which really boiled my blood. I still didn't feel secure on this horse! It was the Morgan that frightened me and the cold-blood who brought me back. 

My sister's lesson horse (QH) was also traded off to another person. She was put onto a brand-new addition to the barn, same week he arrived. (I believe he was also a QH). 

Katelyn looked at the horse and told our instructor that she didn't feel right about it (riding the new horse). Instructor essentially told her she'd be fine.
_Katelyn wasn't on 10 minutes before the horse bucked her. _

And all I remember is the third girl and I walking around the smallish arena with our horses, hearing something from the opposite end of the arena, and watching my little sister hit the ground. That was the last day we took lessons from that instructor, and the day that I began to fear being thrown.


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## Lucifer (Apr 25, 2010)

The fear is a feeling, I know very well...
When I was little I fall off a pony because he didn't want to jump and I broke my shoulder... it took me about 1 years to jump again...
And 4 yours ago, I bought my own pony, my fav' pony ever... He was so sweet with me but he wasthin and badly nourished... When I began working it really and bringing him adapted food, I discovered that he had a badly habit: bucking as if he was a wild bronco... I fall off... fear was here... but the first times, I succeeded in going on I went back up in the saddle (even if once I had spend a week to sleep because of my back)...
But in last october, I fell down... I was just in saddle, he started bucking me off, then he ran I was so afraid because of the road! I jumped on my feet and run after him even if my back made me suffered... 
Fortunatly nothing happened to him, but I couldn't ride him again... So I just went to the stables to take car of him during about 7 months...
And last mounth I moved. I took him in a new barn, and I started to search a teacher... (I had already called someone for his back, but all was fine).
And on monday... I can say it: I rode my pony! And really it made me cry because it was such a joy... It was a man working with "John Lyon's method"... He helped me and my pony is better now... Just looking at his eyes...
And I rode him yesterday and I will again because it's ok, I was afraid but it's ok now.

And to tell the truth, I am just afraid with my pony, the other horses, even the diffuclts one, I has to rode, can't afraid me even if they are bucking me...


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## xxBarry Godden (Jul 17, 2009)

_"and to be honest, I am only afraid with my own pony. The other horses, even the difficult ones which I have to ride, do not frighten me even when they are bucking"_


Lucifer
I have often heard people say "I conquered my fears" but very often they have not.

The fears come from deep within your sub concious mind and can easily be associated with one horse only. The part of the brain which enables you to ride quickly picks up that this pony of yours knows how to hurt you. It will for your protection and the brain's protection prepare you for the bucks or whatever else the pony does to make you fall off. I suspect that as a result you will tense up, you will hold the reins tighter, your breathing will speed up and you will grip - the pony will sense all of these tensions and it will know that you are frightened.
Maybe out of mischievousness, to prove it is the boss, it will give you a buck. It is not an easy circle to break.

The obvious solution is for you to swop your pony for another. Why don't you?


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## Lucifer (Apr 25, 2010)

I find that the solution which you offer is too easy and not especially well adapted in my case... 
Sorry we don't have the same way of thinking about horse and horse-riding.


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## Amarea (May 25, 2010)

Barry Godden said:


> As a rider of 35 years or more during which time I have ridden a 100 or more horses - who knows how many - including riding in several different countries
> I believe that a serious fall, especially one invoking shock and maybe concussion, can bring about what I call "Post Traumatic Fall Disorder".
> 
> We do not ride with our conscious brains, we learn to ride by rote - constant repetition. The instant responses we need to keep up on a horse's back are taken in by our sub conscious brain. If a horse shies, then we have to have responded to that shy before in some cases our conscious brain has recognised that a shy has taken place. When driving a car, if another car comes up from the side, then we have braked or turned (or both) before we have visually recognised the situation.
> ...


THANK YOU! This just helped me SOOO much!


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## haffiepastures (Apr 5, 2008)

I have ridden since I was 10 years old. I was never afraid when I began. By the time I was 14 people were having me train their horses for them in low level jumping, cross country and dressage. I continued to ride through my early 20's. 

I ended up giving my tried and true best four legged friend away as he was very old and needed a retirement home and my husband and I were moving and had no place to keep him. 

By the time I was 28 I knew I had to have a horse again. I purchased my then 6 month old Haflinger filly. I had a blast doing all the ground work with her, then sent her to a trainer for riding and driving training. She came back a very good little mare. 

Then I decided my daughters needed a pony, so I did some looking, found a pony and sent it to a trainer for a month. The pony came home and was great. We used her for lead lining and driving. 

One day while leading my daughter on the pony all around the park we had taken a short break and my daughter dis-mounted. After a bit she re-mounted and we began to walk home. Out of no where the pony exploded. Rodeo bucking as hard as she could. Even though I had the lead rope, I could not get close enough to grab my daughter off of the pony. My daughter ended up on the ground and the pony spun around and appeared to purposfully stomp on my daughters chest. There were marks on my daughters helmet too, from the pony's hoof. I decided we had a real problem, and that I would work with the pony on driving, not having my children on her. After a few good drives, the pony took off with me on the cart. Nothing I did could get her stopped and I had to bail out. Finally after about 1/2 an hour we were able to catch her. 

The fear that was instilled in me, by seeing my daughters' life dependent on what this pony was going to do is terrifying. (my daughter, amazingly was not seriously physically injured).

My daughter now rides the now 7 year old Haflinger mare and does ok. I am more scared than she and it has transfered over to my own riding. I am now trying to find a trainer who can help me to be able to have less fear and trust in my horses.


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## ButterfliEterna (May 2, 2010)

^^^ -- O.O

Glad your daughter was okay! That's got to be the most terrifying thing for a mother to witness.


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## xxBarry Godden (Jul 17, 2009)

Haffie
Yes that must have been a terrifying experience to see what a horse is capable of.
From what you have described I would be worried lest that horse had a problem in its head. An amateur rider needs a horse which can be trusted at all times

Horse riding is by most modern standards a dangerous sport. Occasionally it comes home to folks just how powerful a horse is and how puny we humans are by comparison. Too often I watch folks not taking enough care when they are around horses. 

But my guess from what you have written is that your own fundamental riding skills may not have been damaged - you are more concerned about your daughter's safety - which is understandable.


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## haffiepastures (Apr 5, 2008)

Oh, from what I wrote it probably sounded like this mare was green broke. She was not. She was about 7 or 8 and had been both ridden and driven before quite a bit. I only sent her to the trainer for 30 days to make sure she was what I was told she was, before I put my children on her... 

Thank you for understanding. Yes, even on our good, trustworthy mare, the scene goes through my mind. I have since questioned my confidence in my ability to read a horse. Things are getting slowly getting better though.


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## Leah Hidde (Mar 4, 2011)

I lease an off the track Thoroughbred mare. She will be 15 in April and still has her racing spirit and speed. She was properly trained out of her racing state but it never completly goes away. She's lovely at the walk and trot but when we cnater or jump she is speeeeeedy speeeeeedy. It terrifies me. I took my first fall off her when she took off at the canter and I had to run her into something. I rode my friends Morgan and we cantered and galloped fine. I was al ittle hesitant jumping. She is sweet and theres not an ounce of sass in that Thoroughbred's body she's just sooooo speedy. Since she is not my horse I have not put a harsher bit on for more control. I feel unsafe at the canter and feel as if she'g going to take off at any time. She'll bolt from a trot to fast canter just to jump a little cross rail. I don't want to stop leasing her because we connect so well and I want to become a better rider on her. What would you suggest?


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