# my mare does not like to be touched!!



## ~* Rider in the Mist *~ (Oct 29, 2006)

What breed is she? How old is she? What is her previous experience with handling, training, etc?? That is extremely vital information. But, I will try to offer some insight for what I can see is going on with her.

She has been turned out for 2 years. This usually implies that she was not handled much, if at all. And even though she may not be sensitive, she is still not accustomed to the feel of human hands all over her. That can change once you start working with her and put her into a routine.

I would recommend a stall or living area for her for two reasons. She first needs a designated area in her own mind which she considers "safe" and "home". She can not only learn to be groomed and handled there, but will find comfort and security, and a familiar place to get back to. She will also learn the path back to her stall/home instead of getting lost. She will remember the way back. If she is roaming around the paddock with no landmark, she will get lost and continue to have feelings of insecurities. The other reason is so that you have place to keep her inside when you start handling her. I do not recommend working with her in just a wide open area. If you want to focus on communicating with her, you would be better of in a smaller area, even if it's a small round pen. She should be halter broken again and learn to tie safely as well.

This is one example of why I like working with horses when they are foals and not leaving them turned out for a couple of years and then bring them in for training later on. I am a firm believer in working with horses consistantly, while still allowing them "grow up time" or "kid time" without taking away their fun youngster days. You are now having to deal with a horse that needs to basically go back to square one all over again. Please be careful, but be consistant, confident, and thorough and you will do fine. Let me know how things progress...


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## brandig (Nov 12, 2006)

*jewels*

jewels is a full quarter at 3 1/2 years old. they handled her lots up until a couple of years ago. since then she has been in a pasture with about 10 other horses on their own. she is very gentle when pulling away to halter or not wanting to be sprayed with fly etc spray or pulling burs out of her hair she just blows me off!! she really just does not have any thing to do with any of us. she isn't scared or interested just there. she eats what we give her and goes on her way. i do have a small area with a barn that's where i feed them but the woods are thick and ther are only a couple of ways in and out and she just getts on the other side and cant get back!! she does have a 4 month old on her idont know if that makes a diff or not. i am trying to get her haltered right now then to tie and lead as well are the most important things right now. she doesn't mind me touching her well it's kind of like she is saying she is too good for me to touch her. she isn't scared at all or flintch or pull back when i go to her she just blows me off!! it's odd. we have only had "trained" horses all our lives so this is new to me.


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## ~* Rider in the Mist *~ (Oct 29, 2006)

Well if she doesn't bolt away or act up, then I wouldn't worry too much about anything other than what I mentioned before, just daily handling, grooming, etc., and getting her back into a routine. 

Now that I know she has a foal with her, just keep in mind that unless they are able to be apart with no problems, you may want to keep the foal nearby when you tie her and work with her because if the foal wanders off, she could stress over her baby leaving and pitch a fit. But at 4 months of age, mom and baby are probably both ready for some alone time.

It sounds like you will be ok, hope all goes well


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## brandig (Nov 12, 2006)

*jewels*

well i had a man come out here yesterday. people around here call him a "horse whisperer" but he is really great with them. he has parrelli. anyway he did really good with her and after an hour session i could see sooo much of a diff. i was trying to make her do it and it gives her the choice to do it the right or "easy" way as clinton anderson says it. i like him too. man she was VERY stubborn at first and he had a very hard time with her the first 30 minutes then finally she moved up and she was pretty easy going aftr that. she just had no idea what he was doing or what he wanted from her! she started trying to get away form him. i had started walking the other way and she wanted to follow me and of course as soon as she moved he let up pressure and that's all it took for her to realize what he wanted but i guess she had some sort of feelings for me her and tinker too because the both kept trying to come over to me and tinker"baby" kept standing by me. not too close thought!! he said i was their "safe place" otherwise mommy help me!1 too cute but maybe i can get to her now!! them both actually!! he also tole me i was feeding too much!!  but i was feeding less than what the prev owners were!! i hope we are on the right track now!! thanks for the advice!!


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## WLD (Dec 1, 2006)

How is her vision?


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## child in time (Dec 4, 2006)

Are you sure that she isn't blind or something, wich might be a reason for such behavior?


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## brandig (Nov 12, 2006)

*jewels*

no she sees fine as far as i can tell she has absolutly no respect of any kind!! we are working on that!! slow but surely she is coming around. she just doesn't want to be with me at all!! we are working on our relationship and our 7 games by parelli! that is helping. she was a donimate mare in her herd of about 10 other horses and had been all her life. she hadn't been messed with for 2 1/2 years or so and did not think i should be messing with her or that she wants anything to do with me. but like i said we are getting there.


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## the real horse whisperer (Dec 19, 2006)

*reply*

if she does not like being touched try giving her food then when she is occupied with food touch the neck or behind the ears


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## Skippy! (Dec 18, 2006)

Rider in the Mist has offered some good advice =)

One thing i can say, is:

Set goals for yourself when you go out to see her. If your goal is to pet her without her pulling back.. then meet it, but DONT exceed it! Your goal can take as long as an hour, or as short as 5 minutes, but just be sure that once your goal is reached, leave quietly.

A common mistake is "Wow, she doesnt mind this! Let me keep doing it!". Ive seen many people ruin their horses this way. They set out to JUST put a halter on a colt. So they go out, and it only takes about 5 minutes to catch it and halter it. Since it didnt take that long they think "Wow.. why dont I teach him to lead too?" So then after a 25 minute struggle, the horse is leading (in what i call a suitcase.. where you loop the leadrope behind the butt and infront of the shoulders and hold the end over the back like a suitcase... its hard to describe.. lol). Once that goal is reached, they decide to try to teach the colt to trot in hand on the lead, or to lead without the suitcase. Soon the colt is VERY frustrated. Every time he does something good, he is rewarded by MORE WORK. Ive seen many jumping horses go sour this way. The owner is impressed that they jumped a certain jump, so they keep raising the bar until the horse quits.

Wow, im long winded!

Anyways, i hope this helps ya hun! Got any pictures of her?


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## the real horse whisperer (Dec 19, 2006)

*reply*

spend more time in the field with ur horse and when you give her Food
touch her in the same place so she associate it with being fed and then will like being touched because horses see eating a treats a pleasure


if u have any more trouble ask me i might be able to help


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## lownthwaite (Feb 3, 2007)

I had this same problem when i bought my horse four years ago. To overcome the problem i sat in the middle of his paddock with a book and ignored him. In time he came over to see what i was doing. I carried on ignoring him until he touched me or nuzzled me 1st. Then i would stroke him once and go back to ignoring him. Over time if your horse thinks you arent interested or if he doesnt see you as a threat by keep trying to get near him he will learn to trust you and eventually come to you. My horse now comes to a call or a whistle every time!!

xxx


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## savepitbulls (Jan 2, 2007)

lownthwaite said:


> I had this same problem when i bought my horse four years ago. To overcome the problem i sat in the middle of his paddock with a book and ignored him. In time he came over to see what i was doing. I carried on ignoring him until he touched me or nuzzled me 1st. Then i would stroke him once and go back to ignoring him. Over time if your horse thinks you arent interested or if he doesnt see you as a threat by keep trying to get near him he will learn to trust you and eventually come to you. My horse now comes to a call or a whistle every time!!
> 
> xxx


That's awesome and what I would do also.  If an owner has the time and patience to do this, it would be my first recommendation.


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## Playfulpromises (Feb 8, 2007)

Ok you might not be into this stuff but it does help...
Try Natural HorseMan Ship, it really helps, you should look into it. The equipment can be quite costly but try getting some decent second hand stuff, I did it for the first year I had my horse and it really helped us to "connect" and she has been amazing ever since.
If your interested have a look at the sort of stuff that can be achieved with NHMS.
http://www.parelli.com/
Hope I was some help.
Leonora


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## brandig (Nov 12, 2006)

thanks guys!! lots of help!! i started touching her while she ate which she could care less but if i called her up and did not have food thenshe would just mosey on her way. would not stand to be petted not interested in me at all or wanting to do anything with me. she is better but not a whole lot. it's not that she well i dont know how to explaine it. it's like she thinks she is too good to be bothered by me. the old bat!!  but she is better!! she will stand a bit for petting and grooming but not too long. but at least she does it a little. i have been working like crazy here lately so i haven't had the time i'd like with her but summer is coming and not fast enough for me!! and i dont work during the summer!! it's not that she's scared or unsure it's like she just didn not want anything to do with me. but she is better like i said.


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## proeventer (Feb 25, 2007)

sit in her stable with her for half hour every day just talk to her then she gets to know you. after a while she will bond with you. shewill let you stroke her if you move gentley close to her.


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