# Let's take this one day at a time. I'll hold your hand if you hold mine.



## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

4/26/12

For the past two months, I have been writing in this journal: 

http://www.horseforum.com/member-journals/luna-i-what-doesnt-kill-you-112616/

That chapter in my life has come to a close, and I am beginning a new one. One with Centenario, as long as we get along :wink: Centenario is a 10 year old andalusian/lusitano stallion. He is my lease horse, as of this weekend/next week. He has some dressage training, not sure what level he's at. I guess I'll figure it out as I go. I'm planning on doing a lot of groundwork with him, as I think that is one of the best ways to bond with a horse. 

_Let's take this one day at a time. I'll hold your hand if you hold mine._


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

Wishing you luck w/your new project. Is he going to be kept as a stud?


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

Thanks cacowgirl  He will be gelded hopefully sooner rather than later as the owners don't plan on breeding him again. And I prefer geldings 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

4/29

Went to see Centenario yesterday and today. Both sessions went pretty well, both were groundwork. He can get a bit pushy when leading, but he's learning. He's also a bit stiff with backing, but I think we made some progress. He also thinks the spray bottle is a monster, so I desensitized him to that. Went pretty well, he only reacted to it for a few minutes.


I took these pictures of him yesterday.


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## WesternBella (Jan 7, 2012)

Subbing
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

My mare hates the spray bottle too. I've been using wipe.

What did you do to desensitize him?


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

5/3


I* use this method (this video is just a gist of it) for desensitizing
*






I rode Centenario the other day. Still just walk and trot. Mostly because the Des (BO and owner of Centenario, see my previous journal) won't leave me be. Thinks she knows everything... Just makes me angry. Yeah, I've heard it a billion times, she's just trying to help. I know that, that's why I just have to nod my head politely and say "Yeah" whenever she talks to me. It doesn't help that Centenario is her horse, or that she's the BO and she can kick me out if she wants to. Just smile and tolerate it... 

Anyway... This morning I went up and did some groundwork with him (Des was at work) and he did pretty well. I free lunged him and then worked a little on him getting out of my space. No one has taught him to move his front end (forequarters) away, only his hindquarters. He did two cross steps over, so that was some progress. He yields his hindquarters nicely. 

Probably more groundwork tomorrow.


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

5/11

Yeah. I know. It's been awhile. It seems like the time is passing so quickly I can feel it slipping out of my hands. Gone. Why things aren't in slow motion like they usually are, I don't know. It's like someone shifted gears in my brain. I'm just trying to do what I can. Eat (not enough). Sleep (hardly at all). Go to work (all weekend). Go to the barn (I need to ride more often).

One of the gypsy mares at the barn had filly a few days ago. She's really cute. She likes me. I don't know why. I'm just happy she does. She isn't mine. They named her Porsche. I named her Clove. 

Progress has been made with Centenario, better ground manners. Stops next to me when leading 90% of the time. Turns in when asked during free lunging 80% of the time. 

Haven't ridden him since... When was it. A week and a half, almost two weeks. I miss riding like I used to (a couple years ago). Around this time, I would have been getting ready for pre-fair (4-h), memorizing my showmanship and equitation patterns. 

^^Eventually, you forget most of the bad things and just remember what you want to. It's nice. The good memories are stronger than the bad ones. It used to be the other way around. That's what makes you miss it.

With the time passing so quickly comes a feeling of panic. If I stay on this course, I will graduate in two years. I'll be eighteen. But after that... I don't know. I need to go to college (that's not optional), but I have things keeping me here. The horses, my dogs. My chihuahua is my best friend, she's been there for me more than any human ever has or ever cared to. 

But I know I have to get out of here eventually. Go further east, even if it's still in this state. 

This is kind of weird (especially for me) but I can't help thinking about when I'll meet a guy._ A good one_. I know, I know, you say I have time. But I don't feel like I do. I mean, I wouldn't ever rush into anything, but I could just use some reassurance. I can't think of a better word. I want someone to be there for me :hug:... That sounds better. Maybe if I was a "normal" person I would just keep hoping the right guy will just come along, but I know if I stay here it won't be like that. I don't know. It's all very confusing. And *very* distracting :-|. It used to be that whenever I was daydreaming, it would be about horses, maybe owning my own business. Now, not so much :rofl:. Of course, I have to keep telling myself I'm a teenager and that's what teenagers are. But I've always felt so much older than I really am, that's hard for me to accept. That I'm just another teenager.

I watched Donnie Darko about a week ago. It's been messing with my head :lol: I watched it one night and then again the next night. I've decided that it's one of the best movies I've ever seen. It was oddly relatable to me, and the dialogue was great. 

Let's see, what else have I seen in the past week... Jarhead (loved it), Brokeback Mountain (liked it), The Good Girl (really liked it), and tonight I saw Brothers (liked it). It's nice to finally watch movies again. I usually just stick to tv, but I needed something different. And it's been nice.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

I love Donnie Darko! Any reason you haven't ridden him since a week or so?

You MUST get pictures of Clove (Porsche for a baby just doesn't fly atm...) and share them 

Nothing wrong with being a teenager and wanting a guy, it's important. 

Hahaha I watched Brokeback Mountain with my friend and her girlfriend (didn't know they were lesbians) so it was a dose of double awkward hilarity but it was a good movie. Little messed up that he threw his marriage out the window though.. makes me leery of men. Especially after reading some Cosmo lately!

I think your future is bright  Just gotta go out there and seize it when the time comes!


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

Skyseternalangel said:


> I love Donnie Darko! Any reason you haven't ridden him since a week or so?
> 
> You MUST get pictures of Clove (Porsche for a baby just doesn't fly atm...) and share them
> 
> ...



Definitely one of my all time favorite movies  There really isn't a good reason why I haven't ridden him... I'm still getting to know him. I'm going to try and ride him more often though, it'll be good for him and me.

I'm just waiting for the right guy to come along... I'm hoping fate will help me 

I'm glad I watched it by myself, I could actually focus on the story and not on any awkwardness there would have been in the room :lol: Yeah, I didn't really like the ending, I was kind of hoping it would be a little lighter but it was still good. 

As requested, here are a few pictures of Clove, all on the first day she was born


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

She's soooo cute!!!!!!!! Yeah she fits the name you gave her


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

5/16

Quick update... Rode Centenario a few days ago and it went great  I even cantered him for the first time because he was being so good  I hadn't cantered on a horse that didn't buck in months! It felt amazing, and it was the confidence booster I was waiting for. I haven't had that much fun riding in at least a year. I was so happy until I got home (parent drama :-| ) and I'm going to remember that feeling whenever I start to feel sh*tty. 

My mom took a video of the ride and I watched it after I had put Centenario away. I thought my seat looked pretty **** good considering I haven't had a formal dressage lesson since last summer. Centenario could have been a bit more collected and forward, particularly in the hind end, but we're working on it  There's a trainer about 35 minutes away from me that I might go see. I'm not sure yet. I've been thinking about it for a month and a half, I still haven't decided.


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

5/24

I've been so busy lately with school I haven't had time to post. But the good news is that I finally finished  Sophmore year (+ a couple Junior classes) is done! And with decent grades too (although that's never been a huge problem for me). I got one C, four Bs, and one A. Pretty good, considering how much work I've had to do. Anyway, I'm just glad my summer is finally here (even though it's raining :-| ) 

I rode Centenario a couple days ago and it went well. My seat wasn't great, but it gets more solid every time I ride. I went to see him yesterday and he was being a jerk. He was doing the typical stallion behaviors (head tossing, prancing, nipping, overall pushiness). I worked his butt off free lunging him because I don't tolerate any of that crap. He seemed to listen and by the end of the session he was behaving better. Still not his normal self, but better than at the beginning. I probably won't be able to ride him tomorrow (today?), but I'll plan on riding him the next day. 

I've been obsessing over gymnastics the past two weeks (US secret classic this saturday, plus olympic trials soon). It really makes me wish I hadn't quit two years ago. I didn't ever compete or get serious about it (I was just in the fundamental levels) but I do miss it. No, I miss the *dream* of it. Ultimately it came down to horses taking up all my time and that's what I stuck to. If I went back and had to do it again, I would still pick horses. 

Anyway, today I decided instead of basketball (I play for fun with my brother, it's good cardio for the days I don't ride or days I want an extra workout) I would go out in the yard and see if I could do some handstands. I attempted to do a bridge last night unsuccessfully (that's my goal for the near future, then eventually a back walkover). But to my surprise, I felt like my handstands were pretty good ( I couldn't take any video). My problem is crashing forward on my face when gravity decides to take over. Most of the time I was able to get back down the right way (although not really on my feet) but there were a few times I would be going strong and then would have to bend my elbows because my legs were going forward and I would fall down. But, practice make perfect. I still thought it was pretty good...:lol: And it felt great  I'll ask my brother to take video next time so I can critique myself.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

sporthorsegirl said:


> My mom took a video of the ride and I watched it after I had put Centenario away.



Are you going to share??

And yeah Sky has been like that lately too.. stalliony ****y attitude.. which isn't like him at all.


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

I haven't decided yet... I want to, but I'm pretty weary of putting stuff on the internet. But maybe I will, not sure yet...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

5/27

I had the most amazing ride on Centenario today... And you know what the main reason why was? I rode him with a crop (dressage whip) :lol: But seriously, I barely had to tap him and he was forward moving, in the correct frame, etc. One of my previous trainers once tried to explain to me what riding a skilled/talented dressage horse would feel like. I didn't understand what she meant until now. And it's an amazing feeling  He even did a forward passage (not completely collected, it was more of a slow collected trot), my first upper level dressage movement  It was the first time I've ever done it (I didn't even know he knew how) and I even got video, which I've decided to share. :wink: 

The videos aren't the best quality, but you can hear my voice if you turn up the volume and see me pretty clearly when I'm closest to the camera. It's my mom talking behind the camera and in the first video one of the BO's is on the left 


The first video is of the collected trot/passage and the second video is some canter work 


http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/7277973566

http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/7277970114


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

That was so lovely  Thanks for sharing

I wish I had your courage for the canter. Sky's is very strung out as he's still learning.. but he's getting much better


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

Yeah, it can be scary, especially on greenies and youngsters (Luna loved to buck hard and then throw her head into the canter). Or when they have a huge stride, lol. It's a great feeling when they improve though


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

I agree! I do need to ride more with my legs and body though.. I get too reliant on my hands regardless of how quiet they are.

Teehehe I loved your BO's reaction. I think you and this horse are going to go far.. and I'm glad that you seem much happier again!


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

Thank you Sky  ^^

It's hilarious, you can't see it but I was smiling so much already and then he said that I almost burst out laughing :lol: My goal is to be competing within a year, and I'm starting to think it's really going to happen


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

6/10

I know, it's been ages. I've been busy. Not really. New obsession is more like it. A couple of weeks ago I decided to watch Skins and give it a try (the original british version, the only version in my opinion). I didn't like it at first. But then something happened. I started to care about the characters, these people who I felt (feel) like I'd gone to school with them, partied with them, and knew their very worst secrets. It's an unbelievable feeling, particularly when you have to say goodbye to them. I felt this way about the first and second generation/cast. I can't stand the new cast. I watched five episodes and then stopped watching, it was just awful. So much worse than I thought it would be. I am looking forward to the last season (7) that starts airing in 2013. 

And I'm scrambling to find a dressage saddle to buy. I've decided that I want to find a used Stubben Scandica DL. I've heard good things about them, hopefully they're true. I've found a few, most were too expensive, too worn, or the tree wasn't wide enough. I found one on craigslist that's in beautiful condition, and it's four hours away. I emailed them asking if it was still for sale and I'm waiting for an answer. 

I have to go do yet another fasting lab in the morning (three hours away). It's at the new place (the one with that creep old guy) and I'm not looking forward to it. 

"Sometimes I think I was born backwards"...


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Hope it goes well for you!


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Hey missy just checking in with you!


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

Hey Sky  I know I haven't been on I'm a while (sorry) just been really tired... Off to yet another fasting lab this morning (yes, still a 3 hour drive) And then another one in 5 days  But the good news is that I had a really good ride the other day, even the BO commented on it 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sporthorsegirl (Jun 3, 2011)

8/20

How can summer be over already? It seems like just yesterday I was, well, free. I'll be leaving Centenario in a week and a half. I'm going to ride over at an eventing barn 45 minutes away 2-3 times a week and I can't afford to have Centenario and keep moving forward with my riding/showing career. I've already taken 4 lessons up there and am going up for another one this wednesday. The trainer is really nice (NOT something I'm used to). I did fall off the first lesson :? But I've gotten some confidence back. 

I finally (after getting into a confrontation with the doctor and winning) got a prescription for metformin. It's not working like I thought it would. I mean, yeah I've lost 4 pounds, but I've been taking the stuff for a month. Better than gaining, but still. So I'm increasing my dose to 1500 mg per day. 

I think I'm going to start a new journal after wednesday's lesson. This is new. New barn, new people. It's going to be a good year.


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