# How do you clean a horses sheath?



## JumpingJellyBean (May 22, 2009)

The title says it all. Kind of an embarrassing question to ask but might as well learn. So how do you clean it and with what?


----------



## Doc (Jun 12, 2009)

Courtesy of : Sheath Cleaning
*Sheath Cleaning*


Stick my hand up _where_!? One of the joys of owning a gelding is periodic sheath cleaning. This is a mysterious topic to some, so Pat Harris wrote these instructions which she posted on Equine-L. 
Step 1) Check to make sure there are no prospective boyfriends, elderly neighbors, or Brownie troops with a line of sight to the proceedings. Though of course they're probably going to show up unexpectedly ANYWAY once you're in the middle of things. Prepare a good explanation <vbg> 
2) Trim your fingernails short. Assemble horse, hose, and your sense of humor (plus, ideally, Excalibur cleanser and perhaps thin rubber gloves). 
3) Use hose (or damp sponge) to get the sheath and its inhabitant wet. Uh, that is, do this in a *civilized* fashion with due warning to the horse; he is apt to take offense if an icy-cold hose blasts unexpectedly into his personal regions ;-) 
4) Now introduce your horse to Mr Hand <g>. What I find safest is to stand facing the horse's head, with my shoulder and hip snugly against the horse's thigh and hip so that if he makes any suspicious move such as raising his leg, I can feel it right away and am in any case pressed so close that all he can do is shove, not really kick. The horse should be held by an assistant or by your free hand, NOT tied fast to a post or to crossties. He may shift around a good bit if he's not happy with Mr Hand's antics, but don't be put off by that; as long as you are patient and gradual, and stick close to his side, he'll get over it. 
Remember that it would be most unladylike of you to simply make a direct grab for your horse's Part. Give the horse a clue about what's on the program. Rest your hand against his belly, and then slide it back til you are entering The Home of the Actual Private Part. When you reach this first region of your destination, lube him up good with Excalibur or whatever you're using. 
5) If the outer part of his sheath is really grungy you will feel little clods and nubblies of smegma peeling off as you grope around in there. Patiently and gently expedite their removal. 
5) Thus far, you have probably only been in the outer part of the sheath. The Part Itself, you'll have noticed, is strangely absent. That's because it has retired shyly to its inner chambers. Roll up them thar sleeves and follow in after it ;-) 
6) As you and Mr Hand wend your way deeper into the sheath, you will encounter what feels like a small portal that opens up into a chamber beyond. Being attentive to your horse's reaction, invite yourself in <vbg>. You are now in the inner sanctum of The Actual Private Part. It's hiding in there towards the back, trying to pretend it isn't there. Say hi and wave to it <vbg>. No, really, work your finger back and forth around the sides of it. If the horse won't drop, this is your only shot at removing whatever dried smegma is clinging to the surface of the Part itself. So, gently explore around it, pulling out whatever crusty topsoil you find there. Use more water and more Excalibur if necessary to loosen attached gunk. 
7) When Mr Hand and the Actual Private Part have gotten to know each other pretty well, and the Part feels squeaky clean all around, there remains only one task: checking for, and removing, the bean. The bean is a pale, kidney-shaped accumulation of smegma in a small pouch just inside the urethra. Not all horses accumulate a bean, but IME the majority do, even if they have no visible external smegma. 
So: the equine urethra is fairly large diameter, and indeed will permit you to very gently insinuate one of your slimmer fingers inside the urethral opening. Do so, and explore upwards for what will feel like a lump or "pea" buried no more than, I dunno, perhaps 3/4" in from the opening. If you do encounter a bean, gently and sympathetically persuade it out with your finger. This may require a little patience from BOTH Mr Hand AND the horse, but the horse will be happier and healthier once it's accomplished. In the rare event that the bean is too enormous for your finger to coax out, you might try what I did (in desperation) last month on the orange horse: Wrap thumb and index finger around the end of the Part and squeeze firmly to extrude the bean. Much to my surprise it worked and orange horse did NOT kill me for doing it and he does not seem to have suffered any permanant damage as a result ;-> I have never in my life seen another bean that enormous, though. 
8) Now all that's left to do is make a graceful exit and rinse the area very thoroughly in apology for the liberties you've taken <vbg>. A hose will be MUCH easier to use here than just a sponge and bucket, IME. Make sure to direct the water into the Part's inner retreat too, not merely the outer part of the sheath. This may require you to enfold the end of the hose in your hand and guide it up there personally. 
9) Ta-da, you are done! Say, "Good horsie" and feed him lots of carrots. Watch him make funny faces at the way your hands smell. Hmm. Well, perhaps there is ONE more step... 
10) The only thing I know of that is at all effective in removing the lovely fragrance of smegma from your hands (fingernails arms elbows and wherever else it's gotten) is Excalibur. Even then, if you didn't use gloves you may find you've got an unusual personal perfume for a while. So, word to the wise, do NOT clean your horse's sheath just before an important job interview or first date ;-) 
and of course, there is that one FINAL step... 
11) Figure out how to explain all this to your mother (or the kid from next door, or the meter reader, or whoever else you've just realized has been standing in the barn doorway speechlessly watching the entire process. <vbg>) 
Now, go thou forth and clean that Part  
Copyright 1999 Patricia Harris; for reprint permission please email [email protected] ​


----------



## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

The particulars have been covered. I have only to add that baby oil loosens up all the gunk very quickly and effectively. Also, make sure nobody's going to walk in on you when you're up to your wrist! Some horses love it. Mine needs a cigarette afterwards!


----------



## White Foot (Jun 4, 2009)

My horse is a perv and will stand all day for you. Hahaha.


----------



## Brighteyes (Mar 8, 2009)

Ha ha, I remember a topic like this. Anyone have a copy of the sheath cleaning song? I think it was Spyder who shared it last time.


----------



## RiddlesDarkAngel5 (Jun 2, 2009)

Brighteyes said:


> Ha ha, I remember a topic like this. Anyone have a copy of the sheath cleaning song? I think it was Spyder who shared it last time.


lol i wanna hear this song!


----------



## Dartanion (Dec 8, 2008)

Equestriun said:


> My horse is a perv and will stand all day for you. Hahaha.


My old 3yr old was like that. Not to get into too much detail but he would start 'flexing' and everything lol. It was quite the site when my dad walked in :-x and he's not too horse savvy soooo yeah... :lol:


----------



## 1dog3cats17rodents (Dec 7, 2007)

OMG, Doc, I thought I was going to pass out reading that. I almost fell of my chair I was laughing so hard!


----------



## White Foot (Jun 4, 2009)

Hahahah Dartanion that's hilarious. When I was explaining that I had to clean my horses out to my boyfriend his face was as white as a ghost. 

Did it go something like this?

You: busy cleaning out sheath..
Dad: walks in, eyes get big and stares
You: go on like it's normal 
Dad: umm I think I forgot something in the truck, .... i'll be umm right back. And trips as he's walking out to the truck.
You: Shaking your head.


----------



## Brighteyes (Mar 8, 2009)

Right now, I'm really glad I only have mares.  Sheath cleaning sounds like such a pain.


----------



## Joshie (Aug 26, 2008)

The sheath cleaning story is a funny one. Problem is that it's way too close to the truth. Small children and old ladies show up every time you clean the sheath. Some horses cooperate and some do not. I regularly touch our boy's tummy/abdomen. I just want him to be used to us touching the nether-regions. 

I have used a mild soap to clean but prefer KY. You must rinse off every last drop of soap or lotion but KY (or generic version) is safe to leave on if you don't rinse it all off.

I nearly lost my arm once while cleaning Joshie. You just cannot imagine how very deep those nether-regions are.


----------



## Joshie (Aug 26, 2008)

Brighteyes said:


> Right now, I'm really glad I only have mares.  Sheath cleaning sounds like such a pain.


Sheath cleaning every 6 to 12 months is far easier than dealing with moody females!


----------



## Picture Perfect (Oct 9, 2008)

I have a bad feeling about where this thread is going... :lol:


----------



## ponyz (Jul 1, 2008)

Oh sheath cleaning.... fun times for all!!!!


----------



## 1dog3cats17rodents (Dec 7, 2007)

Makes me glad the vet does it, lol. I figure the vet can do a better job anyway, the horse gets sedated for it


----------



## MIEventer (Feb 15, 2009)

*The Sheath Cleaning Song*
Author Unknown
Sing it to the tune of "Hello Mother, Hello Father" from camp song 


How's it hangin'?
So much cleaner.

Aren't you glad I 
washed your wiener?

I'll admit it's
kinda creepy

that I had to stick my arm up in your pee-pee.


It was sticky.​​It was gunky.​​It felt icky.​​It smelled funky. 

It was cruddy,​​it was crusty--

when you stuck it out, it creaked like it was rusty.


After half an
hour of toilin'

and of squirtin'
baby oil in,​​you're as fresh there
as a daisy. 

Either this means I love you or else I'm crazy!!!​


----------



## Brighteyes (Mar 8, 2009)

Yes! The Sheath Cleaning Song returns!


----------



## free_sprtd (Oct 18, 2007)

I actually had no problem doing besides trying to keep him down. I actually realized one day that everytime I scratched on the side of his belly on the right side, he would slightly drop, so I tried to roll it back and then he just fell out. So when I was ready to clean it, I just rubbed that one spot and was able to get it out. I did have to reach up a couple times, but once you get a hold of it 
(but don't grip too hard) and it will come down again. It helps if they have a spot . I also asked the vet and she said that to get most of it off, but you don't have to make it squeaky clean. and excalibur is awesome!!


----------



## FjordFan (Oct 3, 2008)

LOL its a job that has to be done but at least we can have a laugh about it! The song is great.


----------



## JumpingJellyBean (May 22, 2009)

HAHAHA! i love the song!!


----------



## angelsgrace (Apr 30, 2009)

I have the joy of haveing to clean out my sisters horses you know it's so gross *rofpmpl* (roll on floor pee my pants laughing)


----------



## Joshie (Aug 26, 2008)

1dog3cats17rodents said:


> Makes me glad the vet does it, lol. I figure the vet can do a better job anyway, the horse gets sedated for it


Honestly this is such an easy task that I don't see a reason to sedate a horse for it....unless your horse totally freaks out when you touch his nether-regions.


----------



## nldiaz66 (Jul 27, 2008)

yep, I think I have to do my old horse,Sonny, no telling when he was cleaned.


----------



## White Foot (Jun 4, 2009)

Remember you still have to wash a mares teats, they can get dirty and nasty just as easily. 

LOVE the song BTW.


----------



## Sixxofdiamonds (May 7, 2009)

Has anybody ever had a clean boy? Java doesn't really get dirty. Every few years I'll find something to pick out. Even the vet gives him the OK. 

I'm not sure why that is. I've had other geldings who practically had to be cleaned DAILY. Why are some so dirty and others aren't?


----------



## Dina (Jun 27, 2009)

I don't have a problem with sheath cleaning but I'm not really very squeamish with things like that.
Chunky actually enjoys having his done and will stand there quite happily, but Joe is a different story and hates it so I have to take it really slowly.
I have some sheath cleaning gel that I use to get all the crusty bits out and then just give it a rinse with water.


----------



## 1dog3cats17rodents (Dec 7, 2007)

Joshie said:


> Honestly this is such an easy task that I don't see a reason to sedate a horse for it....unless your horse totally freaks out when you touch his nether-regions.


Not all the horses get sedated, but if they need to be sedated for something else, the vet will just do it whi;e they are sedated


----------



## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

Here's another song.



To the tune of "If you're happy and you know it"....

If it's hanging and you see it lube your hands
If it's hanging and you see it lube your hands
If it's hanging and you see it
Grab it quick it's time to clean it
If it's hanging and you see it lube your hands.

If it's peely and it's crusty pick it off
If it's peely and it's crusty pick it off
If it's peely and it's crusty
and the smell is kind of musty
If it's peely and it's crusy pick it off

If his weenie has a beanie dig it out
If his weeny has a beanie dig it out
If his weiner has a ******
Pull it out and he'll be cleaner
If his weenie has a beenie dig it out

Now he's happy and you know it wash your hands
Now he's happy and you know it wash your hands
It's a job that's kind of kinky
And now your hands are really stinky
But he's happy and you know it wash your hands.


----------



## wild_spot (Jan 30, 2008)

^^ Thats the song I know, lol.

Both my geldings are very clean boys. Cleaned them both about a year ago now, and they are still nearly as clean as the day after. Gotta love them!


----------



## yankee doodle (May 25, 2009)

My boy gets his old man out after every ride, so I give it a quick wipe,. He puts it straight back in to the old cave when I touch it.
He has now cottoned on to me and the sponge, so as soon as he sees the sponge it's gone. He gets it out when he thinks the coast is clear when the rug goes back.
But I've got a surprise for him, i've just bought some new sheath cleaning gel. Gonna try it out this weekend.


----------



## JumpingJellyBean (May 22, 2009)

yankee doodle said:


> My boy gets his old man out after every ride, so I give it a quick wipe,. He puts it straight back in to the old cave when I touch it.
> He has now cottoned on to me and the sponge, so as soon as he sees the sponge it's gone. He gets it out when he thinks the coast is clear when the rug goes back.
> But I've got a surprise for him, i've just bought some new sheath cleaning gel. Gonna try it out this weekend.


Haha. Smart horse.


----------



## mindyme (Jun 21, 2009)

Yeah, I am very glad to have a mare. It was definitely an eye opener (haha) reading the information.


----------



## polkapiggy (Jul 30, 2009)

at my old stables we'd have "sheath cleaning day" twice a year xD they'd demonstrate and then we'd all get down to it  it was quite an event. Mostly because the vet would end up doing everyones xD


----------



## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

mindyme said:


> Yeah, I am very glad to have a mare.


Mares need to be cleaned too.


----------



## TroubledTB (Jun 26, 2009)

^--- I was just going to call everyones attention to the udders!!! Lots of gross black stuff up in there. My mare actually likes it, and in the summer I often get caught rubing it out of there. Don't ignore the mares udders, they get gross and you never see it. Also, many people sedate their horses for sheath cleaning not to make him stand nicely, but make him drop. Just a little ace and they lose all control of that part dropping it down nicely to get everything off. It's easier if you have some around and are qualified to give them a little cocktail, some horses you would never get really really clean if they aren't dropped.


----------



## I Heart Hershey (Jul 13, 2009)

Why is it that some don't need to be cleaned? My guy is also spotless, it's unbelieveable, but his paddock buddy is always dirty. I'm so lucky (so far!)


----------



## yankee doodle (May 25, 2009)

OMG i have used the sheath cleaning gel.
I had to con my boy. I gave him a groom and there it was, waiting for me! I grabbed the gel and squeezed a handful into my palm, turned round, and guess what the rod of stallion was no where to be seen. He is so clever. I then asked my friend to groom him, then on cue it dropped. I made a grab for it (I should have warmed the gel up, will remember next time).
I held it firmly and rubbed in the sheath cleaning gel. His back legs kicked and quivered a bit, so I don't think he enjoyed it much. 
I FORGOT TO WEAR GLOVES! it was a spur of a moment thing, ooohh, The boy stuff was now on my hands it came off him straight away. I'm saying to my friend poor some water on my hands. She did and it was like glue it was stuck to me, double oohh. I had to submerge my hands and get a cloth.
He looks great lovely and shinny!
I'm sure my horse thinks I'm a pervert.


----------



## HalfPass (Jun 12, 2009)

Okay...
I will have to remember the sheath cleaning song/s for the day I have to clean my horses..
I already know he does not like it and will try and kick....
Love the sons...haha
HP


----------



## Bronco Hollow (Jul 21, 2009)

I think I need popcorn with this thread... thanks for the laugh!


----------



## Sir Drake (Mar 8, 2009)

joshie said:


> sheath cleaning every 6 to 12 months is far easier than dealing with moody females!



amen!!!!


----------



## MIEventer (Feb 15, 2009)

Alright -

*grabs clipboard*

1) Horse 

Ah..yep, check.

2) Rain Coat

uh huh - check

3) Gum Boots

Yeppers, check.

4) Elbow length rubber gloves. 

Check

5) Googles

*snap* check

6) Soap

check

7) Pressure Washer

*vrooom* CHECK!


----------



## SabreBaby (Jul 27, 2009)

Haha. I actually cleaned my first sheath today..... Quite an interesting task if I must say.  lol.


----------



## nldiaz66 (Jul 27, 2008)

OMG ya'll are just too funny, but I have four boys and they all need to be done,so I'm debaiting on doing it, it will be so much easier to call the vet to do it.


----------



## yankee doodle (May 25, 2009)

Get some boy cleaning gel , but remember to put on the gloves first!


----------



## Joshie (Aug 26, 2008)

I've recently learned a couple of lessons. 
1) Sheath cleaning, although gross, is easy when there is no bean.

A) Use generic, inexpensive KY.
B) Rinse well. 
C) If you can't rinse don't worry too much as KY will dissipate on its own.

2). Sheath cleaning is not so easy when there is a bean. 

A) It hurts when someone digs a large chunk of goo out of your nether-regions.
B) You need to "kiss" a horse before bean dipping.
C) Rub the nether-regions with KY often....even when not bean dipping. It feels good.
D) Provide grain and tie your horse so that he's against a wall. 
E) Regular "kissing" without any attempt to remove the bean may be necessary after the first bean removal.
F) Horses remember that bean dipping hurts and will cross their legs if you even act like you might LOOK at their nether-regions. 
G) Good luck. Pleasuring a horse is, well, something I never imagined I'd ever do.....but we do still have some bean left in there.:shock:


----------



## MIEventer (Feb 15, 2009)

Ah ha ha ha - I am going to make sure your Toombstone says "Horse pleasurer"


----------



## andysgagirl (Aug 6, 2009)

Get Excalibur, it works great. My 6 year old gelding loves being cleaned, his old owner was a little to lonely I believe. She would rub his leg and talk to him, he will drop every time you touch him! My older boys _hate_ being cleaned though. They won't drop so I just try to clean as much of the gunk off as I can while it's still in the sheath, it's an elbow deep job.

My boyfriend refuses to be around whenever it's sheath cleaning time :/


----------



## Joshie (Aug 26, 2008)

andysgagirl said:


> Get Excalibur, it works great.


http://www.smartpakequine.com/ProductClass.aspx?productclassid=635&cm_mmc=Froogle-_-Shopping%20Feed-_-NA-_-10635

I think I paid $2 or $3 for generic KY at Walmart.


----------



## Gutzzyhorse (Jul 29, 2009)

Oh my good ness!!!! I need to pick myself up off the floor! 

I remember a vet (a very hot looking young man) telling me that if I wasn't elbow or more up I just wasn't doing it right... I was two days from my due date, bigger than a barn and still can remember the silence as the techs, me, my friend all looked at each other before dying laughing at his "enuendo".

I love the songs!!!!!! I am glad my barn is secluded!


----------



## trvlingheart (Aug 4, 2009)

OMG I'm cracking up dying over here reading this thread, thanks for the laughs!


----------



## Barrelracer Up (May 22, 2009)

To the one wanting to know why some are dirtier than others:
Smegma (the yucky build up) is a mixture of skin and bacteria from the penis and sheath, and discharge from his urethra - studs have a bit more going on than geldings. Some horses are better about letting it hang out at bathroom time which helps them stay cleaner and anatomy and skin chemistry has a lot to do with it too. 

The "bean" is a build up off smegma in a pouch or pocket surrounding the urethra.
Studs get a "cleaning" when they breed and any beans tend to get dislodged.

Just like some people smell worse quicker than others from the bacteria naturally found on our skin. The chemistry of our skin plays a factor there.


----------



## myQHpaul (Jun 25, 2009)

boy am i glad someone has the same problem. i just got my boy 2 months ago and know that i need to get this messy job accomplished before i head back to work. this would be my first time. wonder if this will be a bonding experience for us both LOL.


----------



## stephnpierre (Oct 3, 2008)

Oh dear, I've had my gelding 2 years and haven't been able to give it that kinda clean!! He absolutely despises having it cleaned! If I go anywhere near it at any time, he whips it away and the leg goes up immediately. That happens whether I edge there nice and slowly, stroking his belly (as soon as my hand gets anywhere near he kicks out!) or just diving straight in with Mr.Hand! Ahahah I'm going to have to just keep trying I think because his is filthy and covered in gunk (smegma?)
xx


----------



## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

Ok...don't be embarrassed, it's a natural part of male horse ownership.

Wear thoe plastic gloves, and have a bucket of warm water with you. put sheath cleaning gel in your palm and reach up into the sheath. Scrub around, pulling out the "beans" which are really just compacted shavings and dirt, and throw them away. You'll find a second passage if you fish around; it IS there you just have to find it. Clean up there as well


----------



## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

my paso fino absolutely loves having his sheath cleaned lol


----------

