# Trail riding peer pressure--to go or not to go?



## phantomhorse13 (Feb 18, 2011)

Riding is supposed to be fun.

That doesn't sound like fun to me.

Don't go.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

No no no. Absolutely do not go!

Storms aren't just rain, they're lightning and thunder and riding in a storm can be dangerous not only due to the chance of a fire starting due to the lighting but the sound of the thunder spooks some horses when they are in new situations. 

Also you didn't have a good experience last time, and this horse is new to you. Do not put yourself in a dangerous situation.. and one that doesn't sound like it would make you happy either.

I vote for rescheduling when you've had time to get to know your horse better, and when you've had time to get more positive riding experiences in.


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

If you have fears, outwardly or simmering just below the surface, whatever horse you ride will pick up on that. To me, that sounds like a recipe for a bad ride.

Instead of letting these friends make you feel bad, I'd personally expect my friends to help me ease back into trail riding in a way that made me comfortable. Why do you have to go on such an intense, all weekend ride when you're still building up your confidence again? Would they not be willing to meet you for a short ride at your barn, or on a relatively easy local trail? I'm not saying you should ask them to cancel their trip, but that you should graciously decline this particular trip but also book a time to do a confidence building ride together. I'm sort of a self-deprecating person, so I'd probably make a joke about how I need to have a couple of "training wheels" or "bunny trail" rides with people I trust to build my confidence before I'd be ready to tackle something more intense.

And as a total aside, maybe I am a wimp, but the thought of spending a weekend drenched by downpours and having to sleep in a tent on top of that sounds like one of the most miserable experiences in the world to me  Nothing I hate more than being soaked!!


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## theomommy (Dec 23, 2012)

Thanks guys. Everything you've said has been running through my head all week, but when I bring it up they just dismiss it. They're trying to be good friends, they know I sometimes need to be pushed out of my comfort zone around horses, but this is a little bit different. And the plan was to go on a couple of smaller, shorter rides first, but the weather and some other factors haven't exactly cooperated with us lately, and all of a sudden here it is, and we've already paid for the reservations and everything. I don't even care to be out the money, I just don't want to make my friends mad. Hopefully they'll understand. Thank you guys, I feel better that I'm not the only one who thinks this is a bad idea.


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## tim62988 (Aug 30, 2012)

Personally, I wouldn't be opposed to going if the forecast changes. Just tell them you'll go for the company but no need to ride, relax at camp while they are out riding, maybe hop on someone's horse for an hour after dinner to get on the trails and relaxed.

Take some time to get your horse out on day rides before you try for an overnight, then you will know your limitations and be more comfortable.


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## zookeeper1991 (Sep 11, 2012)

I wouldn't go either. "Trying to be good friends" should mean they are sure you are comfortable with going along. And a whole weekend of riding and camping in the rain sounds awful. You need to be sure about trail riding on your horse before a trip like that. Good luck!


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## TessaMay (Jul 26, 2013)

Sounds like you have a lot of reasons to not going, the most important one being that you don't want to. Stay home and plan some nice day rides when you and your horse are up to it. No reason to go on a "fun" trip if it's not fun for you. It doesn't need to stop the others from going without you.


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## mslady254 (May 21, 2013)

Friends that nudge you *just* a little bit out of your comfort zone to start to rebuild confidence are great. Friends that blast you way out of your comfort zone and disregard all your requests to the contrary....aren't very much in the way of friends, ,,imho. Sorry, but their supposed good intentions/help are way out of line, imho. Maybe they need to do some reading on how to rebuild confidence, maybe they've never been at a loss of confidence and so don't really understand.
I think you are very smart to see that riding in muddy conditions on any horse, much less one you don't know, not to mention storm conditions,isnt a good idea.

Put yourself, your safety, your need to rebuild confidence in a sane manner first! If it causes any problems with these folks...so be it. 

I'm sooooooo lucky that the friends I ride with all have the attitude that if anyone is having a problem, we all halt ,wait, and try to help. We go no faster than the slowest horse and rider team are comfortable with or capable of. And, guess what?? we have a blast, and all of us have grown in our comfort zones !

Good luck! 
Fay


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## ChitChatChet (Sep 9, 2013)

If you arent feeling good about the trip then dont do it.


IMO a trail ride is a great way to get to know your horse but if you feel any trepidation then DON'T DO IT! The horse can read your fear and play off of it.


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## Red Gate Farm (Aug 28, 2011)

Personally, if I were in your situation, I would not go.

I have a lot of fears. Getting over that ride you had would be a BIG deterrent for me.

I would want to get to know my new horse first, and be confident. I would need a lot of rides where nothing went wrong to reassure me. My friends would understand and cheer me on, no matter how small the steps, instead of forcing me to go WAY outside my comfort zone.

I would want to go on an hour ride. Then a two hour ride with a short picnic stop. You know, ease into it. Then a slightly more challenging ride with a couple of stops. Each time I succeeded, I'd be more inclined to go on that over night ride.

Whatever you plan to do, do what YOU want.


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## lostastirrup (Jan 6, 2015)

I wouldn't do it if I was afraid. That gets communicated to your horse. No matter what you are afraid of. I used to sneak a horse out on trail rides (he was not allowed to go) and while he was a saint my stress that I was going to get caught started to weigh on him. After awhile he associated leaving the property with stress and wouldn't want to go out the gate. I gave it up after that. It just wasn't good for either of us.

My cutoff for when I do not ride is: If this horse does something unreasonable will I be too afraid to discipline, then forgive and ride again with the confidence he needs. If the answer is no- then don't put yourselves in that sort of situation. It just breeds mistrust and won't boost your confidence.


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## ChitChatChet (Sep 9, 2013)

It takes a lot of work to control ones fear. 

My current horse I have seen dump my dd 3 times. The horse then went to training for 1.5 months. After that I didn't ride it for another month till I was finally able to control myself. I rode the horse and was impressed so I started riding him. I have gotten dumped once ( my fault) but I got right back on and rode.

I have ridden him in places where I knew he could be more prone to acting up but I rode with confidence that nothing was going to happen, that it was going to be a great ride and it was. So far this year I have 100 miles on him.

Only you know when you'll want to go out riding again. But dont dwell on your fears.... you have moved on. Fresh start. New horse.


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## jamesqf (Oct 5, 2009)

theomommy said:


> I ended up hand walking him back three miles to camp with him spooking at every leaf and calling out to his friends...


Oh, it could have been worse - you could have been doing that 3-mile walk with a broken bone or two 

Which is to say that you're absolutely right about not wanting to go riding a strange horse, in a strange area, in what looks to be miserable weather/riding conditions. I probably wouldn't even have done it on Ellie, who I trusted completely. The MOST I would consider doing is going along to camp, but not ride, and that only if the forecast improves.


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

I'm another one that agrees.....no...don't go.

Take some time, learn your new horse, pick a good weekend not a stormy one, and then go have fun.

If you go I think you won't have much fun.....life's to short.....do something else that you'll enjoy.


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## theomommy (Dec 23, 2012)

Thanks everyone. Your input really makes me feel a lot better. I was afraid I was just being a baby about it!


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## Dustbunny (Oct 22, 2012)

Good for you! Trusting your gut is a good plan.
Where do you live that you are getting storms? We are in the cooker this weekend.


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