# "You're so thin" isn't always a compliment



## aubie (Aug 24, 2013)

A visit with a nutritionist/dietitian would be a good idea for ideas on some things that you could eat that you can tolerate that may pack more punch that what you are eating now. Also maybe some ensure type products that you could drink that would provide more than water or sports drinks especially when you run. 

I am not clear if all your anxiety issues are food related or not, but a visit to a therapist would be a good idea as well. You are right in it being a cycle, got to do some things to break it. Heath is always my first concern of course, but I hate to hear when females are self conscious about appearance. You are beautiful. Just need a little help getting weight up to a healthy level. Wishing all the best.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

aubie said:


> A visit with a nutritionist/dietitian would be a good idea for ideas on some things that you could eat that you can tolerate that may pack more punch that what you are eating now. Also maybe some ensure type products that you could drink that would provide more than water or sports drinks especially when you run.
> 
> I am not clear if all your anxiety issues are food related or not, but a visit to a therapist would be a good idea as well. You are right in it being a cycle, got to do some things to break it. Heath is always my first concern of course, but I hate to hear when females are self conscious about appearance. You are beautiful. Just need a little help getting weight up to a healthy level. Wishing all the best.


Thanks so much! I will be seeing the doctor if this doesn't get better in the next few weeks. I've never really wanted to go on medication for anxiety, but maybe I will need to reconsider!


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

Well, the difference would be people are trying to compliment you. I know you don't like it, but that is what our society views as beautiful. If someone said "wow, you're so fat" to someone that is offensive. 

If I were you I'd brush it off, people are trying to pay you a compliment not trying to offend you. If it really bothers you that much say "thanks, but I really wish I wasn't this skinny".
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## greentree (Feb 27, 2013)

I agree that is not the most sensitive thing to say! 

Do you eat wheat, or do you know you are sensitive to it? It sounds like you could add some coconut oil, butter, and avocados to your diet.

I would avoid the dietician/nutritionist, because they are obliged to follow whatever trash the government is putting out as guidelines, and go to a naturopath (if you can find one that is not kooky).


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

greentree said:


> I agree that is not the most sensitive thing to say!
> 
> Do you eat wheat, or do you know you are sensitive to it? It sounds like you could add some coconut oil, butter, and avocados to your diet.
> 
> I would avoid the dietician/nutritionist, because they are obliged to follow whatever trash the government is putting out as guidelines, and go to a naturopath (if you can find one that is not kooky).


I do not eat wheat. I always joke that my kids each took a food away from me...during my pregnancy with my son, I developed a gluten intolerance. During my pregnancy with my daughter, I developed a dairy intolerance. Good thing I only have two kids! LOL! 

What I am going to do before I go to the doctor is try an anti-inflammatory diet for a few weeks. I just haven't made that jump just yet because it's VERY restrictive and I already feel like I'm starving, and I also hate preparing food. But I know a doctor will just probably try to throw medicine at the problem instead of looking for the underlying cause. My goal for Christmas break was to try that diet out. Maybe I'll start this weekend.


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## aubie (Aug 24, 2013)

Jan1975 said:


> Thanks so much! I will be seeing the doctor if this doesn't get better in the next few weeks. I've never really wanted to go on medication for anxiety, but maybe I will need to reconsider!


You're welcome. It's great that you are willing to reconsider medication for anxiety, but that may or may not be necessary. Cross that bridge if you get there. For now a medical doctor can give you a once over and go from there. To little weight can cause problems just like to much can. Once the doctor has ruled out medical causes /and or conditions, and developed a baseline, you can go from there.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

SlideStop said:


> Well, the difference would be people are trying to compliment you. I know you don't like it, but that is what our society views as beautiful. If someone said "wow, you're so fat" to someone that is offensive.
> 
> If I were you I'd brush it off, people are trying to pay you a compliment not trying to offend you. If it really bothers you that much say "thanks, but I really wish I wasn't this skinny".
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That is a good point. Instead of being embarrassed, I should appreciate the attempt to compliment. I have never been great at accepting compliments. I'll keep your thoughts in mind!


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## sarahfromsc (Sep 22, 2013)

Ahh, pregnancy. What it does to the inside of your body.

After having issues during and after each pregnancy I went to the doctor and had the needed test run. Besides a portly functioning gall bladder, I am border line this and border line that. Bad acid reflux, colic symptoms where horrific (I now know why infants scream and horses roll. The pain is insidious and horrible). So as we say about horse health here and call a vet, Go to the doctor and get diagnosed.

But for the time being get rid of the 'whites' in your diet which is basically anything that has been processed such as flour and sugar, and processed cheese slices like those you use on sandwiches If you eat rice, eat the brown rice. If you need sugar in your coffee or tea in the morning use raw can sugar or honey.

And what has helped me after discovering through tests, is drinking pure aloe Vera juice before each meal. I drink two ounces before each meal.

I have also found taking a powdered magnesium supplement in water every night has calmed my innards as well. Might help with the anxiety you mentioned. I don't even go on vacation without the aloe Vera and the magnesium! 

Also graze all day long. The three meals a day do not help the situation. I to am thin and I am always eating something. Be it fruits, nuts, tostado chips, I'm always putting something in my stomach. 

After detoxing and getting my innards balanced again, I have been able to put on some weight, and I can eat again. Even foods that caused me issues in the past, as long as I eat them in small amounts and sparingly.

Doctor first, no guessing what is wrong with you. Find the cause(s) and treat accordingly.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

sarahfromsc said:


> Ahh, pregnancy. What it does to the inside of your body.
> 
> After having issues during and after each pregnancy I went to the doctor and had the needed test run. Besides a portly functioning gall bladder, I am border line this and border line that. Bad acid reflux, colic symptoms where horrific (I now know why infants scream and horses roll. The pain is insidious and horrible). So as we say about horse health here and call a vet, Go to the doctor and get diagnosed.
> 
> ...


Your story gives me hope. Thanks so much for sharing. Isn't magnesium a diuretic?


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## greentree (Feb 27, 2013)

You need magnesium stearate. It is the least disruptive to your intestines. The oxide is the most disruptive. 

Magnesium is used by every cell in the body. So is iodine. They are both very important, and underused by Dr.s. Instead of fixing a deficiency, the dr will give you a drug prescription.


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## sarahfromsc (Sep 22, 2013)

I use a product named CALM (bought at the Health Hut) that is gluten free with no dairy, sugar, eggs,wheat, soy, starch, fructose, preservatives, or artificial color. 

Without healthy magnesium levels, your body cannot absorb the calcium it needs. And, as we all know, women need more calcium as we age.

When you first start taking it they highly recommend that you start with only a quarter of a teaspoon, because it will loosen things up a bit. Allow time for your body to adjust before taking the eventually, recommended dose. It took me two and half months to get up to the recommended dosage.

I would highly suggest you get a fecal done on yourself. Your waste, how your body produces it, or doesn't, and how often you produce waste, and color and consistency all indicate overall health. Healthy poo makes for a healthy body.

Amazing what we discuss here....lolol


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## SpicedGold (Aug 2, 2011)

Jan1975, I am often in the same boat as you, so you are not alone. My weight dropped dramatically a few months ago (and I have always been small to start with) and my anti-depressant medication had the very dramatic side effect of appetite suppression. My weight dropped to below 46 kilograms for several months.

I am now in the process of building myself back up again, with running and weight training, and a change in diet (The goal is to hit 50kgs at least). I personally don't care too much about my appearance, but my weight was worrying my boyfriend and my students, and it's for them that I'm trying to get back to looking normal.

The point here is - I've been where you are and I know exactly what you mean. Being told I'm skinny really downs my day sometimes. It does bother me, because I like to believe I have everything under control, but I can't control what other people think. All I can do is get to a point where I look in the mirror and like myself.

Good luck to you : )


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## Wallaby (Jul 13, 2008)

Jan1975 said:


> Thanks so much! I will be seeing the doctor if this doesn't get better in the next few weeks. I've never really wanted to go on medication for anxiety, but maybe I will need to reconsider!


Yes!

I also struggle with pretty high levels of anxiety [mine mainly manifests as migraines, digestive issues, and physical pain] and it was becoming close to unbearable for me.

I've been seeing a counselor/therapist for a few years which has been WONDERFUL, in terms of getting me out of my own head and finding coping strategies so I can be successful in work and life.

After a year-ish of seeing my therapist, she felt that my anxiety wasn't as under control as she had anticipated it being. 
Long story short, the subject of ADHD came up, my doctor-doctor ran the tests, and it turns out that I have relatively severe ADHD. 
I have a very internally hyperactive form of ADHD, "anxious ADHD." ADHD is a "glitch" in how the body processes dopamine and other "pleasure" chemicals, so anxiety [though ADHD-anxiety is not usually as bad as mine was/is] is a somewhat common side effect of ADHD. 

I got on medication for my ADHD and the difference was like night and day!!
My anxiety rarely spikes as high as it regularly did before. It's still present, of course, since it's a part of my brain's make-up, but I can now see past it. Instead of being a brick wall that stops me in my tracks, it's a black-out curtain that I can choose to brush aside.

I lived for 25 years figuring that I was always going to be fighting anxiety, that waking up each day was always going to be a struggle...but now that's not a reality I have to live anymore!
As an aside, after I got diagnosed, it turned out that my dad, mom, AND brother all have varying forms of ADHD/ADD as well. Now that we're all diagnosed, our family life, interactions, have dramatically changed for the better. We all just kind of figured that we were just a family that would never get a long well...except that it turns out that our ADHDs are the things that are actually not playing nice! Life is a zillion times better now.


Anyway, basically my point is that getting medical help for dealing with anxiety might not be all bad. I hadn't gone to the doctor in 5 years before I went in to ask about ADHD, but it was the best trip I ever made. 
I know that, for myself, the doctor-doctor was pretty intimidating initially. When something needed to change, when my anxiety was really out of control, I found that finding a therapist was less intimidating and that "talking it out" really helped me a lot - which, in turn, gave me confidence to actually visit the doctor-doctor. 
If the doctor is too intimidating for you right now, finding a qualified person to talk to might be less intimidating and still effective.

Your suffering doesn't have to be endless! Things can get better. :loveshoweron't give up on yourself, you've made it this far, you're stronger than the average Joe.

[also, I'm allergic to wheat, soy, and corn - I feel you on the food allergies thing!]


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## Kay Armstrong (Jun 28, 2015)

I have been thin for long periods of time in my life and I'm still called "slender", although now in my 50's it's more of a struggle to stay the same size. So...my point is for those of us who have tired of people commenting on our size...try and see the good in what people say. You may have to make a point of eating when you don't feel like it, you may have to eat higher calorie items even though some may say it isn't "good for you"....you have to pay attention to what works for you and ignore the rest. We all have challenges and may yours be one you can triumph over. All the best. Think well of yourself.


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## aubie (Aug 24, 2013)

Funny how a southern males mind works. When I read allergic to corn my first thought was omg no bourbon.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

Jan, if you drink milk, cut that out too for a while. Milk causes digestive disturbances in many, me included, so I turn it into kefir which changes the lactose to a digestible form.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

Wallaby said:


> Yes!
> 
> I also struggle with pretty high levels of anxiety [mine mainly manifests as migraines, digestive issues, and physical pain] and it was becoming close to unbearable for me.
> 
> ...


Well hmm...I have felt that I have ADHD for a long time as well...I didn't realize the two were so interconnected. Maybe I need to see a therapist & not a MD. I sort of feel like seeing a therapist is "giving up" but your story makes me feel like I am missing out on a normal life. Thank you for sharing!

edited to add: What are some of your favorite snacks? I think figuring out what to eat is so hard sometimes that I'd just rather be hungry.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

sarahfromsc said:


> I use a product named CALM (bought at the Health Hut) that is gluten free with no dairy, sugar, eggs,wheat, soy, starch, fructose, preservatives, or artificial color.
> 
> Without healthy magnesium levels, your body cannot absorb the calcium it needs. And, as we all know, women need more calcium as we age.
> 
> ...


Well yes, it's all on the table now right? LOL!! Thanks for sharing. I did have a colonoscopy last January (that was fun :icon_rolleyes: ) but I haven't had a fecal test.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

@;


aubie said:


> Funny how a southern males mind works. When I read allergic to corn my first thought was omg no bourbon.


Well up north we drink scotch. LOL! It really tears me up though so no WAY can I have that anymore. Too bad too because my husband always has scotch on Saturday nights and it smells SO good.


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## karliejaye (Nov 19, 2011)

Just wanted to stop in and commiserate as another who struggles to keep weight on. Funny (well not really) but I also struggle with anxiety and have POTS which makes me pass out frequently. 
Seeing a therapist is most certainly not giving up! It's being proactive! I went to multiple therapists through the years and last year found one who was phenomenal at giving me tools to work through PTSD and anxiety. Grounding methods and ways of breaking the cycle. Well worth it!


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## TessaMay (Jul 26, 2013)

When I was dealing with anxiety and depression I would feel sick every time I'd get hungry. I've always been thin too, so loosing weight is really obvious and not good. Dealing with the mental/emotional issues were the most help, though I had to cut out dairy and meat before my body really felt better and started gaining weight. Sounds like you are willing to work on the anxiety, so that's wonderful. While you do, try to focus on eating things with high amounts of healthy fats like coconut oil, avocados and nuts. You might try keeping some good snacks around, nuts and granola bars would be good.


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## sarahfromsc (Sep 22, 2013)

A thorough physical is still needed.

Keep a journal of how you feel after eating anything..

Food sensitives can make you feel lethargic, depressed, tired, and apathetic. You can suffer from headaches, joint inflammation and stiffness. Plus a myriad of other symptoms.

So, is it true clinicl depression, or is it depression caused by the crap you are eating? Only a full medical evaluation will tell you.

Growing up in the 'olden days' there were never kids in school diagnosed with hyper issues. I didn't start seeing it until I was a young mother and every child was diagnosed with some sort of hyper issues. Is that caused by the crap that is added to our foods, or are we if really just are recognizing it?

My opinion, after feeling like crap for 20 years, is get a full, comprehensive medical eval done. Then go from there.

At this point all of us, and you, are just guessing. Call the vet! I mean doctor......*grins*


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## Rowdyone (Sep 27, 2009)

Often, the vet would be my first choice. If only.

I commiserate. I've never had the best appetite, but mostly went through life as the "boa constrictor." When I did feel like eating, I ate good. Over the last two years, I've had some health issues come up that did little to help. The latest has been a raging case of acid reflux. I was told five years ago that I had it, but as I never had heart burn, I was not as diligent about taking care of it as I should have been. So now, swallowing spit hurts. x.x

Couple that with my tendency to have low blood sugar, and it's turned into a total train wreck. I feed like dirt. I have to eat something, and would just as soon not. It's a legit battle.

I'm going for an upper gi on the 31st (Happy New Years Eve to me!!). With any luck, it will get ironed out.

In my case, it's usually family who points out to me how thin I am, and I know it's concern. It's been so bad at times that people have asked my sister if I have cancer, or something lovely like that... 

Take care of you. Consider all the options. Hope you let us know how it goes.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

Rowdyone said:


> Often, the vet would be my first choice. If only.
> 
> I commiserate. I've never had the best appetite, but mostly went through life as the "boa constrictor." When I did feel like eating, I ate good. Over the last two years, I've had some health issues come up that did little to help. The latest has been a raging case of acid reflux. I was told five years ago that I had it, but as I never had heart burn, I was not as diligent about taking care of it as I should have been. So now, swallowing spit hurts. x.x
> 
> ...


One of our vets is also a friend...maybe if I meow nicely he'd treat me. LOL! The upper GI is no sweat. I had an upper & lower at the same time and the procedure was nothing. Or, should I say I remember nothing. 

I hope you figure it out--that sounds miserable! Thanks for sharing your story.


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## Wallaby (Jul 13, 2008)

Jan1975 said:


> Well hmm...I have felt that I have ADHD for a long time as well...I didn't realize the two were so interconnected. Maybe I need to see a therapist & not a MD. I sort of feel like seeing a therapist is "giving up" but your story makes me feel like I am missing out on a normal life. Thank you for sharing!
> 
> edited to add: What are some of your favorite snacks? I think figuring out what to eat is so hard sometimes that I'd just rather be hungry.


Something about the way you talked about running made me wonder about ADHD for you as well. 
But who knows! Some people are just more active than others, and, for some, that level of activity is normal. For others, it's a sign of a chemical imbalance. It's something to talk about with a doctor for sure!!

I felt the SAME way about seeing a therapist when I first started. I felt like it was a sign that I wasn't strong enough, or that I was somehow "failing." But then I started therapy and began to see positive changes in my life. Instead of being stagnant like I had been for so many years, I started seeing that I was finally moving forward - learning to swim after treading water for years. The positive changes helped me start to realize that this was something GOOD in my life.

The other thing that helped me was _talking_ about it with trusted friends. Their acceptance of it helped me recognize that it wasn't a sign of weakness. I still don't talk about it at work, for obvious reasons, but most of my friends know.


Of course, now that my ADHD is known as well, I've faced a little bit of stigma about that - because a lot of people still don't believe that ADHD is real. Some people have suggested that I'm just trying to find an excuse for my faults, etc.
[and, for the record, it's true that ADHD has been incorrectly diagnosed for years. If you have childhood ADHD, you _do not_ "grow out of it." If you "grew out of it", you never had it in the first place. The only time the diagnosis can be any kind of accurate is when adults are diagnosed with ADHD.]

But I try to look at it objectively - all the people who question my ADHD are people who don't know me well. They haven't seen the intense mood swings, they haven't seen the meltdowns brought on by over-stimulation, they don't know the depression I faced, they weren't part of the daily self-medication of OTC medications that were never meant to be taken daily, they don't know the whirlwind of thoughts in my head at all times, and they DON'T know how much better -freer- my life is now that I'm on meds. 
They don't know the steps I took to heal myself without meds through diet changes and increased exercise, they don't know how that only helped a little, and they DON'T understand the freedom I've found thanks to my meds.


As far as gluten free snacks go, I really like limited ingredient things. I eat half an apple at 10:30am and 12:30pm [I cut it up into "appealing" slices], and I like to pair that with some puffed rice or a little cheese. I love Larabars [the Apple Pie ones are my favorite], I always have one in my purse! 

My ADHD meds make my feelings of hunger disappear so I've changed my eating habits into ones that say "it's X time, time to find something to eat!" I don't wait until I'm hungry, because I'd never eat if I did that! haha 
I try to eat at 7:30am, 10:30am, 12:30pm, 2:00pm, 7:00pm, and I usually have a sweet snack [a small bowl of fruit sorbet or high quality ice cream] around 9pm before bed. 
None of my meals are ever very large, but I eat often enough that it's not a problem. I'll usually eat about half a cup to a cup of things. A trick I've found for myself is I'm more inclined to eat if the snack is broken up into small amounts of various items. I
nstead of eating a whole apple, I eat half and eat a little bit of something else. Instead of eating ten pancakes, I eat one or two, then round it off with a banana and/or Larabar. 

Since I have a huge sweet tooth, I try to eat one [small] sweet thing everyday. That way I'm less inclined to binge on things that make me feel bad [ie things with too much sugar and starch, not enough protein], but I satisfy my "need" for sweet.


As an aside, have you found this brand of pizza and pie crust? http://www.amazon.com/Gluten-Free-Mama-Mamas-Crust/dp/B00CLFPHBE

It is so much better than anything I've found that I can make at home, and the pie crust makes for AWESOME "tarts" if you place the crusts into muffin tins, add a pie filling, and cook until done. They're super freezable and it's really great to have super tasty, homemade, little snacks to just pull out whenever the mood strikes. 
That another one of my tricks - I make huge batches of everything, and freeze most of it into snack sized portions to pull out whenever I'm struggling to find something to eat. GF cooking seems to be really gifted that way - crunchy bits stay really crunchy and the flavors stay really good for a long time when they're frozen! Longer than frozen wheat-based baking.


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## elle1959 (Sep 7, 2015)

Up until the time I hit about 40 years of age, I was completely unable to put on any weight at all. During most of my young adult life I was 95 lbs at 5'6". I hated it, hated having attention drawn to it, hated all the things people would do and say and assume (anorexia was a favorite accusation) but the fact was I simply couldn't gain weight. Looking back at picture of myself, I can see that at least I carried it well, but still. It was hard. I believed I looked terrible and worked hard to hide my body. 

When I hit my 40's or so, I began to gain and managed to end up at almost 170lbs a couple of years ago. Then I was diagnosed with diabetes and had to severely limit carbohydrates, which melted the weight off. I'm now struggling to maintain a comfortable 130 lbs and to tread that fine line between being too thin and being too heavy. As long as I eat what I'm supposed to eat, I border on too thin again. It's extremely frustrating and, like you, I don't need a lot of commentary about my weight. It's a personal issue that I struggle with that I'd prefer others keep their nose out of.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I got so sick of the hyper diagnosis teachers (non medical professionals) were labelling kids with. Kids are supposed to be high energy. We watch kittens and puppies and colts race around and children need to do the same. A lethargic child would cause me concern.


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## Haley (Aug 18, 2009)

I can sympathize as well. While I don't consider myself "skinny", I'm certainly on the smaller side. People always say to me "I wish I had the will to eat like you, then maybe I'd be able to lose weight!".

I have ulcerative colitis, celiac disease and lactose intolerance. About the only food my digestive system will tolerate right now (as I'm in the midst of a very bad UC flare) is white rice and chicken. I don't enjoy it and my "diet" certainly isn't anything that has to do with will. It's the only way to make me function somewhat normally. 

I generally don't say anything as I prefer not to talk about my health issues, but I really do wish people knew the real struggles I go through.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

elle1959 said:


> Up until the time I hit about 40 years of age, I was completely unable to put on any weight at all. During most of my young adult life I was 95 lbs at 5'6". I hated it, hated having attention drawn to it, hated all the things people would do and say and assume (anorexia was a favorite accusation) but the fact was I simply couldn't gain weight. Looking back at picture of myself, I can see that at least I carried it well, but still. It was hard. I believed I looked terrible and worked hard to hide my body.
> 
> When I hit my 40's or so, I began to gain and managed to end up at almost 170lbs a couple of years ago. Then I was diagnosed with diabetes and had to severely limit carbohydrates, which melted the weight off. I'm now struggling to maintain a comfortable 130 lbs and to tread that fine line between being too thin and being too heavy. As long as I eat what I'm supposed to eat, I border on too thin again. It's extremely frustrating and, like you, I don't need a lot of commentary about my weight. It's a personal issue that I struggle with that I'd prefer others keep their nose out of.



First of all, how perfectly rude of anyone to make the comment , you're so thin". If someone said , "you're so fat" they'd be tarred and feathered. It's the whole societal thing that equates thinness with having admirable amounts of strong will, while being fat is equated with the sin of gluttony , when in reality, both the fat and the the thin person can be equally helpless to their condition, to a certain extent. Why one is the source of envy and the other scorn is a real question for us to consider.


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## ShirtHotTeez (Sep 23, 2014)

Magnesium is a mineral.

quote
"Essential to life, necessary for good health, and a vital component within our cells, magnesium’s benefits help our bodies maintain balance, avoid illness, perform well under stress, and maintain a general state of good health."

from Magnesium Benefits | Ancient Minerals


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## ChitChatChet (Sep 9, 2013)

I would go to a dr as something is obviously wrong. I think a full allergy workup would be in order.

I for one am extremely skinny.. always have been.5'8" and 118lbs My mom was always being accused of not feeding me when I was a child. Furthest from the truth as she had an open kitchen. Drs have always told me to gain weight and I would ask why? They had no reason other than I wasn't on the chart. Perfectly healthy and can outwork many people.

The only time I gain weight is when I am pregnant... I gain a ton and then loose it slowly over 6 months after having the baby. Its the first indication I am pregnant as I gain 5 lbs out of the blue. LOL

Are you pregnant? I just found out I am. LOL Spent 11 weeks wondering what was wrong with my stomach.... kept thinking maybe its the stomach bug going around. LOL OOps

Grazing is good and healthier I think then 3 square meals a day. My 4 skinny dd's and myself graze.

Have even been accused of being bulimic. ug

((hugs)) I hope you can get it figured out


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## ShirtHotTeez (Sep 23, 2014)

ChitChatChet said:


> I would go to a dr as something is obviously wrong. I think a full allergy workup would be in order.
> 
> I for one am extremely skinny.. always have been.5'8" and 118lbs My mom was always being accused of not feeding me when I was a child. Furthest from the truth as she had an open kitchen. Drs have always told me to gain weight and I would ask why? They had no reason other than I wasn't on the chart. Perfectly healthy and can outwork many people.
> 
> ...


Congratulations


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## sarahfromsc (Sep 22, 2013)

I did read someone stating they eat white rice. I was told,when I was having the worst after my issues years ago, to stay away from the whites: milk, flour, and rice.

And I still stay away from them. And I feel great and I'm probably the healthiest feeling since my early 20's. I'm 54 sooooooon to be 55.

Stay away from the whites!


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

ChitChatChet said:


> I would go to a dr as something is obviously wrong. I think a full allergy workup would be in order.
> 
> I for one am extremely skinny.. always have been.5'8" and 118lbs My mom was always being accused of not feeding me when I was a child. Furthest from the truth as she had an open kitchen. Drs have always told me to gain weight and I would ask why? They had no reason other than I wasn't on the chart. Perfectly healthy and can outwork many people.
> 
> ...


Congrats!!


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

Here's a good one. For a while, a long while ago, a group of us gals got together weekly and head to the local facility. They'd go to the pool and I'd hit the weight room. The gals were all substantially overweight. As we were changing into appropriate attire one of the gals joked about my being thin. I looked at her and asked "why is it ok to make jokes about being thin but god help us if anyone cracks about someone who's fat?". After the look of horror went off her face she apologized. We've been good friends since then.


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## sarahfromsc (Sep 22, 2013)

I forgot the fourth white: sugar!


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

sarahfromsc said:


> I forgot the fourth white: sugar!


But sugar is so goooooooood.  I do notice I feel better when I eat less sugar. My joints actually feel swollen when I have it.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

ShirtHotTeez said:


> Magnesium is a mineral.
> 
> quote
> "Essential to life, necessary for good health, and a vital component within our cells, magnesium’s benefits help our bodies maintain balance, avoid illness, perform well under stress, and maintain a general state of good health."
> ...


I agree, Mg is very important w respect to diet. However, one should be aware that not all MgO (which is the form it is ordinarily taken for dietary supplement) is created equal, and the Mg might not be available (can be digested and utilized), depending on its source and how it was processed. It is 100% legal, in the US anyway, to sell MgO for dietary needs that is not in the available form - so long as it does contain the stated amount of MgO. This is true for foods or supplements sold for human or fellow creature consumption. It is worth looking into before purchasing such supplements.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

I haven't read through the entire thread, so my apologies. But, it seems like what you are trying to say in your original post is that the effect that anxiety has on some people is that eating becomes a real chore, and not being able to gain weight then just exacerbates the anxiety. ? If that is the case, it doesn't seem very understanding for people to compliment your thinness, but you have to keep in mind that they can't "see" the cause. All you can do is just say, "thanks", ignore it, and battle the cause and know that it will get better.


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

A good friend of mine is gluten and dairy intolerant, she manages very well, not fat but not overly thin either. She eats well, lots of salads, fruit, veggies by the pound, chicken, lamb and fish. 

This might sound silly but try taking magnesium tablets, they can help with anxiety. 

Good luck to you.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

Thanks to all who have offered support! I really think anxiety is the root here, as I've been feeling a LOT better since Christmas. I'm off work until the 4th, and I think just relaxing with not much to do around here has been great for me. I might explore the anxiety route first.


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## enh817 (Jun 1, 2012)

Two words: Medical Marijuana 


I don't know what the legality is in Illinois, but I'm lucky enough to live in California. MMJ has done wonders for me, helping me deal with chronic pain, insomnia, lack of appetite, anxiety, etc. I haven't refilled my prescriptions for pain killers or sleep aids in about a year!


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## paintedpastures (Jun 21, 2011)

In a society that focus on weight so much, see so much on weight loss & more talk about people being overweight. Find people find it rude & horrible that you make a comment on someone's excess weight but they don't have same consideration when making comments to thin people :sad: like you, I don't appreciate being told oh your so skinny, that need to gain a few pounds. Or must be nice your so skinny...  no ,it isn't always a compliment!!!


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

enh817 said:


> Two words: Medical Marijuana
> 
> 
> I don't know what the legality is in Illinois, but I'm lucky enough to live in California. MMJ has done wonders for me, helping me deal with chronic pain, insomnia, lack of appetite, anxiety, etc. I haven't refilled my prescriptions for pain killers or sleep aids in about a year!


I don't think it's legal in IL yet.


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

enh817 said:


> Two words: Medical Marijuana
> 
> 
> I don't know what the legality is in Illinois, but I'm lucky enough to live in California. MMJ has done wonders for me, helping me deal with chronic pain, insomnia, lack of appetite, anxiety, etc. I haven't refilled my prescriptions for pain killers or sleep aids in about a year!


It can also have many side effects!


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## ShirtHotTeez (Sep 23, 2014)

I get why you are upset to be complemented on being so skinny. But really you should understand why you are and be even more outraged. My niece is beautiful, and d**ed skinny. I was asking her about her doing modelling while she was here before xmas, and she said she was told she has to lose weight!!! She looks healthy now, but could easily and healthily carry another 5 kilos, and to lose weight she would lose muscle tone. This beauty industry is obscene and causes a lot of harm. But while they are allowed to promote emaciated women as the ideal, nothing will change.

:gallop:


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

ShirtHotTeez said:


> I get why you are upset to be complemented on being so skinny. But really you should understand why you are and be even more outraged. My niece is beautiful, and d**ed skinny. I was asking her about her doing modelling while she was here before xmas, and she said she was told she has to lose weight!!! She looks healthy now, but could easily and healthily carry another 5 kilos, and to lose weight she would lose muscle tone. This beauty industry is obscene and causes a lot of harm. But while they are allowed to promote emaciated women as the ideal, nothing will change.
> 
> :gallop:


Yes, the pressure to be thin in this culture is ridiculous. I teach 6th grade, and whenever they make comments about me being thin, I always make sure I say, "Well, this isn't healthy; I need to gain some weight" so they know my goal is not to be this thin.

Maybe I already said this, but I live in a very small town, and pretty much everyone knows I run most days. They just assume I'm either skinny because I run so much or that I run to stay this skinny.


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## enh817 (Jun 1, 2012)

Foxhunter said:


> It can also have many side effects!



I don't know about 'many'... I know that I much prefer the side effect to those of the prescription pain killers and sleeping pills I was taking. Pain killers are no joke, and can (and often do) have devastating side effects.


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

I agree also that exploring psychological issues can be important. For instance, a relative was labeled with anxiety disorder and she also could not eat many foods due to cycles of anxiety and food intolerance. She had undiagnosed OCD, which worsened later in life (rather uncommon). She had to be hospitalized for anemia and weight loss due to a restrictive diet. It was the OCD causing her anxiety, and getting a handle on it helped her tolerate more foods and gain weight. 
I've been where you are with being so thin you can see every rib and people offending me by saying I was skinny. However, I was an anorexic in denial and that was why it was offensive to me. Eating also gave me anxiety and I continued to exercise despite being a dangerous weight. Be sure to get help because it is very dangerous to be that thin. Your heart can be affected and your bones almost certainly. I've known two women under forty that died from being too thin. There is a limit to what weight a body can handle without destroying itself. A mind and emotions out of control can be fatal.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

gottatrot said:


> I agree also that exploring psychological issues can be important. For instance, a relative was labeled with anxiety disorder and she also could not eat many foods due to cycles of anxiety and food intolerance. She had undiagnosed OCD, which worsened later in life (rather uncommon). She had to be hospitalized for anemia and weight loss due to a restrictive diet. It was the OCD causing her anxiety, and getting a handle on it helped her tolerate more foods and gain weight.
> I've been where you are with being so thin you can see every rib and people offending me by saying I was skinny. However, I was an anorexic in denial and that was why it was offensive to me. Eating also gave me anxiety and I continued to exercise despite being a dangerous weight. Be sure to get help because it is very dangerous to be that thin. Your heart can be affected and your bones almost certainly. I've known two women under forty that died from being too thin. There is a limit to what weight a body can handle without destroying itself. A mind and emotions out of control can be fatal.


Interesting connection between anxiety & food intolerances! I hope I will not get THAT dangerously thin...yikes, that is scary. Exercise is really important to me mentally...I am only running about 45 min. 3-5 days a week, so not overdoing it. It's something I've done for years. My body is used to it. And, like I said, it actually helps my appetite. I am feeling really good the last few days, but if I swing back into a cycle of not feeling great once I get back to work, I'm definitely seeing the doctor.


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

Sometimes people with multiple allergies also have OCD rather than true allergies. What happens is they are exposed to something which makes them anxious, such as a pill or chemical and they worry it may harm them or make their stomach upset. This causes an often strong physical reaction due to their anxiety, and they may even break out in hives, hyperventilate and get dizzy, or get diarrhea. Which leads them to believe they are right about the pill being harmful, and they believe they are allergic to it. Sometimes this can cause them to avoid taking medications they truly need. 

It is extremely rare for a human to actually be allergic to more than several medications, so I've heard doctors say that people who claim ten or twelve allergies nearly always have "psychosomatic" allergies. That's not to say the person wants to feel ill, or that their symptoms are imagined, but rather that they cause the symptoms subconsciously and they are not as serious or potentially harmful as they fear. 

It can be the same with food intolerances. For instance, my relative feared that if she ate something containing sugar, her stomach would get upset and that would lead to diarrhea. This in turn might lead to her smelling bad, which might cause people to think badly of her and stare at her when she went to the store. If someone looked at her when she was shopping, it confirmed her fear. These fears led her eventually to a diet of only crackers and applesauce as she cut out more and more foods that might give her a sick stomach. She does get sick if she eats sugar, but only if she is aware of it. It she does not realize the food contains sugar, it does not make her sick. That is why it is psychosomatic. 

One thing that helped was having her say she preferred not to use something rather than saying she was allergic to it. Using her label confirmed it in her mind, and changing the label helped her realize it was a preference rather than something that must be avoided or dangerous. It also helped her to discuss that the consequences of her eating something she did not prefer were not dangerous. Having a sick stomach would not threaten her life, while avoiding all foods would.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

gottatrot said:


> Sometimes people with multiple allergies also have OCD rather than true allergies. What happens is they are exposed to something which makes them anxious, such as a pill or chemical and they worry it may harm them or make their stomach upset. This causes an often strong physical reaction due to their anxiety, and they may even break out in hives, hyperventilate and get dizzy, or get diarrhea. Which leads them to believe they are right about the pill being harmful, and they believe they are allergic to it. Sometimes this can cause them to avoid taking medications they truly need.
> 
> It is extremely rare for a human to actually be allergic to more than several medications, so I've heard doctors say that people who claim ten or twelve allergies nearly always have "psychosomatic" allergies. That's not to say the person wants to feel ill, or that their symptoms are imagined, but rather that they cause the symptoms subconsciously and they are not as serious or potentially harmful as they fear.
> 
> ...


That is really fascinating!


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

Sorry to hear that. My advice to you would be to see a doctor for the nutrition issue. 

Have you ever considered lifting weights? I've had similar experiences to you. I've always been thin. People would tell me that all the time, some would tell me I needed to eat more. I always ate a LOT of food and was very active, not through sports just by being outside all the time and riding horses. I rarely exercised. A year and a half ago I started running, working my way up to 5k distance. At the time I thought I wanted to be a runner. I also dabbled in a little bit of yoga, hoping to increase my overall strength. Early last year I gave all that up and found strength training and high intensity interval training. I developed a program for myself, mixing things up between lifting weights (with dumbbells) and higher-intensity cardio. Here I am almost a year later with a huge increase in strength, flexibility, confidence, and knowledge. In a couple weeks I'm going to be working with a personal trainer, doing nothing but weight lifting and HIIT cardio. I have gained some muscle mass but I now know that nothing is going to get me the body I want except lifting HEAVY weights. I could do tons of cardio and stay 'skinny' or lift and eat a lot and put on muscle and gain shape. Maybe one day the talking will stop 

I think our society is too obsessed with 'skinny' and 'fat.' You have to one or the other, you can't be in between. But there's this wonderful thing called 'fit' and I've seen it improve many women's lives and boost their confidence.

I don't know if this is exactly what you're looking for, but I just thought I'd throw my two cents in


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

I don't have the mental energy to read all the replies thoroughly but I find myself losing my appetite (and weight) in boughts. I also have anxiety but undiagnosed

Something I can always eat is a smoothie. Fruit smoothies mainly, but veggie smoothies or protein shakes that I make myself.

More times than I care to detail I have found myself living on smoothies because everything else either made me nauseous to even think about, or did not taste right

I can't eat eggs anymore

I cannot eat bread as I start to wheeze

Cheese makes me want to throw up

Steak is too rich

Macaroni and Cheese doesn't speak to me

Granola bars are a hit or a miss

Salads are great but veggies spoil fast and can be expensive

I feel you girl. I really dislike when people compliment my body; it's not there for others' enjoyment or wonder. It's just me. I can't control it, and I rather not have attention brought to it.

I'm glad you're doing better! I hope you continue to get better each day


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

howrsegirl123 said:


> Sorry to hear that. My advice to you would be to see a doctor for the nutrition issue.
> 
> Have you ever considered lifting weights? I've had similar experiences to you. I've always been thin. People would tell me that all the time, some would tell me I needed to eat more. I always ate a LOT of food and was very active, not through sports just by being outside all the time and riding horses. I rarely exercised. A year and a half ago I started running, working my way up to 5k distance. At the time I thought I wanted to be a runner. I also dabbled in a little bit of yoga, hoping to increase my overall strength. Early last year I gave all that up and found strength training and high intensity interval training. I developed a program for myself, mixing things up between lifting weights (with dumbbells) and higher-intensity cardio. Here I am almost a year later with a huge increase in strength, flexibility, confidence, and knowledge. In a couple weeks I'm going to be working with a personal trainer, doing nothing but weight lifting and HIIT cardio. I have gained some muscle mass but I now know that nothing is going to get me the body I want except lifting HEAVY weights. I could do tons of cardio and stay 'skinny' or lift and eat a lot and put on muscle and gain shape. Maybe one day the talking will stop
> 
> ...


Oh yes I've considered lifting weights lots of times. I just don't stick with it.  I hate strength training but I know it's so important. I'm doing that 30-day rider challenge right now, but that is body weight resistance. I need to do something upper body.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

Skyseternalangel said:


> I don't have the mental energy to read all the replies thoroughly but I find myself losing my appetite (and weight) in boughts. I also have anxiety but undiagnosed
> 
> Something I can always eat is a smoothie. Fruit smoothies mainly, but veggie smoothies or protein shakes that I make myself.
> 
> ...


That is kind of the road I was going down...more and more foods were bothering me. Lately, I've been having a good couple weeks. The last few days I've eaten almost non-stop, so maybe I'm entering a healthier cycle. I hope you can figure something out, too!


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## ShirtHotTeez (Sep 23, 2014)

Skyseternalangel said:


> I don't have the mental energy to read all the replies thoroughly but I find myself losing my appetite (and weight) in boughts. I also have anxiety but undiagnosed
> 
> Something I can always eat is a smoothie. Fruit smoothies mainly, but veggie smoothies or protein shakes that I make myself.
> 
> ...





> I cannot eat bread as I start to wheeze


 Have you been checked for wheat intolerance? When you eat eggs is it always with toast/bread? Pasta is made with wheat-flour. Not sure about the cheese, but what would you have it with? Where there is one intolerance there may be others. You really need to get a proper assessment before it gets out of hand....and sorry, this from someone who can eat almost anything and too often does :icon_rolleyes:


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

ShirtHotTeez said:


> Have you been checked for wheat intolerance? When you eat eggs is it always with toast/bread? Pasta is made with wheat-flour. Not sure about the cheese, but what would you have it with? Where there is one intolerance there may be others. You really need to get a proper assessment before it gets out of hand....and sorry, this from someone who can eat almost anything and too often does :icon_rolleyes:


No I haven't yet but I basically don't eat bread anymore aside from the ones that come with Panera meals (which are also not on my eat list anymore). Sometimes I ate eggs with bread, but usually without. 

I really should get checked out, just.... money wise I have things that trump my issues. 

You know the funny thing is after I ride Sky, I could eat a steak or a big fast food meal no problem. But that's the only time, maybe I'm depressed and it's affecting my appetite? Could be.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

Skyseternalangel said:


> No I haven't yet but I basically don't eat bread anymore aside from the ones that come with Panera meals (which are also not on my eat list anymore). Sometimes I ate eggs with bread, but usually without.
> 
> I really should get checked out, just.... money wise I have things that trump my issues.
> 
> You know the funny thing is after I ride Sky, I could eat a steak or a big fast food meal no problem. But that's the only time, maybe I'm depressed and it's affecting my appetite? Could be.


I can tolerate WAY fewer foods when I'm going through a spelling of anxiety.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Jan1975 said:


> I can tolerate WAY fewer foods when I'm going through a spelling of anxiety.


That's a very interesting point!! I tend to not want to eat at all when I'm experiencing anxiety. I hadn't thought of that


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

Skyseternalangel said:


> That's a very interesting point!! I tend to not want to eat at all when I'm experiencing anxiety. I hadn't thought of that


Oh a "spelling" of anxiety. Can you tell I'm an English teacher? LOL! Anyhow, same here, anxiety makes me not want to eat much at all, and when I do, I feel horrible.


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## ShirtHotTeez (Sep 23, 2014)

*sigh* When I feel anxiety, I DO want to eat, and when I do, I feel horrible!! Or in its extreme - Sleep. Complete shut-down don't want to know!!


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

ShirtHotTeez said:


> *sigh* When I feel anxiety, I DO want to eat, and when I do, I feel horrible!! Or in its extreme - Sleep. Complete shut-down don't want to know!!


Anxiety pretty much sucks all around, no matter how your body chooses to deal with it. Ugh.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

ShirtHotTeez said:


> *sigh* When I feel anxiety, I DO want to eat, and when I do, I feel horrible!! Or in its extreme - Sleep. Complete shut-down don't want to know!!


It's interesting how people respond in the same or similar situation but in such different ways

When I was little, I used to eat an entire large pizza on my own.... now? Nope!


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## ShirtHotTeez (Sep 23, 2014)

Skyseternalangel said:


> It's interesting how people respond in the same or similar situation but in such different ways
> 
> When I was little, I used to eat an entire large pizza on my own.... now? Nope!


:neutral: I could still do most of one lol. :loveshower:

DH isn't keen on them so we seldom have them . . .

There was one day (while I was still working on farm) that DH and son were going to Auckland. I had my day planned (day off) and I was going to chill with some chick-flick movies and pizza...mmmmm. And they didn't go!!! I spent most the day running round after them!! Silly woman lol...


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

Oh man! I'd be disappointed. I love my alone time!


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

ShirtHotTeez said:


> :neutral: I could still do most of one lol. :loveshower:
> 
> DH isn't keen on them so we seldom have them . . .
> 
> There was one day (while I was still working on farm) that DH and son were going to Auckland. I had my day planned (day off) and I was going to chill with some chick-flick movies and pizza...mmmmm. And they didn't go!!! I spent most the day running round after them!! Silly woman lol...


You need a "you" night, with pizza and chick flicks and a touch of ice cream. You deserve it


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