# What are signs that your horse has become attached to you?



## Hoofpic

Hi all,

New to this forum 

I just got my horse in June of this year. Just curious what are the signs of your horse getting attached or bonded to you. 

I dont have that super deep connection with my horse just yet. That connection usually takes many many months, if not years to accomplish.

I see her everyday.

So far...

1) Everytime I go see her, she comes to me (shes in a large paddock). Unless shes tired and wants to nap, then she will just stand there as I know she wants her space.

2a) No matter where we are, everytime she sees me, she will nicker non stop, but I hope its not just because I feed her. We can be in the grooming stations in the barn and she will be tied up. If I have to pop out of her sight for 5secs, she will nicker once she sees me again. Often she is very loud and vocal about it.

Last week I had her tied and I went in the kitchen to eat something real quick. I was in there for maybe 5mins. When I came out, she was nickering as loud as she could as if she hasnt seen me in weeks.

2b) She does not like when she cant see me when shes tied. If I get a drink of water, if she can see me, she will keep her eye on me and nicker once I start heading back to her.

If shes tied and sees me, she pays attention to nothing and no one else. Often there have been other horses tied along side her and she will look over or around them to see me.

3) When Im cleaning or doing whatever in her paddock, she will often follow me or come to me

4) Our personal greeting is that every single time I go see her, I ALWAYS put my hand out and let her smell the back of it first before I do anything. I always do this before I scratch or rub her anywhere. 

I feel its just a softer approach and makes her feel always at ease. Horses love to sniff (especially hands) and when you allow them to sniff you, from what I was told, it makes them feel more comfortable with you.

5) Now I know horses who have formed a deep connection with you will often look into your eyes when you scratch or rub them. Ive had this type of connection with other horses before and awfully quick. I would just rub or scratch their neck, whithers or behind the ears and they will stare at me and give me eye contact telling me that theyre loving the attention.

I get this with my horse from time to time but not as often as I was hoping. If she does do it, its usually maybe 5 seconds at a time. Ive bonded with some other horses before where I could scratch them and they would face and stare at me until I stopped. 

How would you suggest I get this deep connection with my horse.

I was suggested by someone to (every now and then) tie her up, just stroke her on her throat, neck, shoulder, whithers, back. Then tummy, and gently scratch her belly button. 

Then take the back of my hand and life up her tail and gently stroke under her tail going down her butthole. Ive done this a few times and she loves it, especially having her belly button scratched. From what Ive been told, stroking resembles when they were foals and how their mama took care of them. So this gives them memories from when they were a baby. Has anyone done (or does this).

I clean her sheath and poop hole from time to time and she loves it!


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## LadyDreamer

Stop looking for it. She seems to like you a great deal so that's a start. A deep connection or bond cannot be forced. Don't worry about it or stress. 

Now start working on work. That's where you'll find it. When you know her ins and outs and become a team. When you prove you are the strong trustworthy leader, she'll open up to you a bit more. There will be arguments and rough spots but that's all a part of the process. Keep on doing what you are doing. Have your rituals and special moments. Keep being consistently you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Speed Racer

Mares don't have sheaths, only stallions and geldings. As far as 'cleaning her poop hole', leave her anus alone unless she has diarrhea and needs to be kept clean. That's weird and unnecessary. 

Stop looking for some magical Black Stallion - type bond. Familiarity, fairness as a leader and time spent together are what make a strong bond.


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## Saddlebag

Horses feel trapped when tied and she knows you'll untie her. She also knows you bring special groceries. I would rather have mutual respect whereby my horses neither attempt to bite or kick me and respect my space, as I do their's.


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## WildAtHeart

A 'connection' means something different to everybody. To me it is based around *respect* and *trust.* I used to have a horse who would whinny when I left her int he cross ties to go get her tack. At fist I loved it, because I loved that she wanted me there with her. But then I realized that this was just a place where her lack on confidence was coming out. I eventually got her confidence up to where she could stand happily alone. There was nothing wrong with her being happy to see me, the problem was that she was nervous when I left. Not sure if your horse is fidgety or anxious without you but just something to keep in mind. As much as we want them to rely on us, we also need to build confident and 'rational' horses.

All that aside: the best thing is *groundwork*. Anything. But the key is to do it subtly and with as little pressure as possible. For example: most peoples horse can lead fairly well. But can they lead from both sides? Do they keep pace when you speed up for slow down? Do they stop right with you? Do they back up with you? etc. Any simple thing has more challenging and precise levels to it  Have fun with it and best of luck!


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## Hoofpic

LadyDreamer said:


> Stop looking for it. She seems to like you a great deal so that's a start. A deep connection or bond cannot be forced. Don't worry about it or stress.
> 
> Now start working on work. That's where you'll find it. When you know her ins and outs and become a team. When you prove you are the strong trustworthy leader, she'll open up to you a bit more. There will be arguments and rough spots but that's all a part of the process. Keep on doing what you are doing. Have your rituals and special moments. Keep being consistently you.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I will stop looking for it 



Speed Racer said:


> Mares don't have sheaths, only stallions and geldings. As far as 'cleaning her poop hole', leave her anus alone unless she has diarrhea and needs to be kept clean. That's weird and unnecessary.
> 
> Stop looking for some magical Black Stallion - type bond. Familiarity, fairness as a leader and time spent together are what make a strong bond.


Cleaning her poop hole was what the barn owner told and suggested I do from time to time. This was after she saw my horse constantly rubbing her bum against the fence in her paddock. Cleaned out a ton of stuff in her and she stopped rubbing after and seemed more at ease. But I will stop doing it.



WildAtHeart said:


> A 'connection' means something different to everybody. To me it is based around *respect* and *trust.* I used to have a horse who would whinny when I left her int he cross ties to go get her tack. At fist I loved it, because I loved that she wanted me there with her. But then I realized that this was just a place where her lack on confidence was coming out. I eventually got her confidence up to where she could stand happily alone. There was nothing wrong with her being happy to see me, the problem was that she was nervous when I left. Not sure if your horse is fidgety or anxious without you but just something to keep in mind. As much as we want them to rely on us, we also need to build confident and 'rational' horses.
> 
> All that aside: the best thing is *groundwork*. Anything. But the key is to do it subtly and with as little pressure as possible. For example: most peoples horse can lead fairly well. But can they lead from both sides? Do they keep pace when you speed up for slow down? Do they stop right with you? Do they back up with you? etc. Any simple thing has more challenging and precise levels to it  Have fun with it and best of luck!


We have been doing ground work for the past, just about 2 months now (mind you some breaks here and there due to some minor injuries) but Im still at it with her. About to ride her pretty quick here.

I used to do ground work with her 4 days a week but now cut it to 2 or 3 since she has made great progress.


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## Smilie

Mares will rub their rear, if the area between their teats becomes accumulated with semigma 
De worming a horse, versus, 'cleaning their poop hole' helps with irritation in that area, as pin worms migrate out of the anus at night and lay eggs, which causes a great deal of itching
Don't look for that bond, flattered if a tied horse calls for you, or when you come with food, falsely reading a bond into it
The horse sees you as a food source and someone that will un tie them
That bond comes over time, along with trust and respect, and it starts with good solid basics, including learning to stand quietly, alone, tied solid, not in cross ties
What ground work have you done, preparing her to be ridden?
None of that 'bonding stuff you mentioned, really applies, so please give some details


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## Speed Racer

If she's wormy, deworm her. If she has smegma buildup on her teats, clean them. Rubbing her rear end on something means she has irritation from something, but it's not from her poop.


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## Palomine

Hoofpic said:


> Hi all,
> 
> New to this forum
> 
> I just got my horse in June of this year. Just curious what are the signs of your horse getting attached or bonded to you.
> 
> I dont have that super deep connection with my horse just yet. That connection usually takes many many months, if not years to accomplish.
> 
> I see her everyday.
> 
> So far...
> 
> 1) Everytime I go see her, she comes to me (shes in a large paddock). Unless shes tired and wants to nap, then she will just stand there as I know she wants her space.
> 
> 2a) No matter where we are, everytime she sees me, she will nicker non stop, but I hope its not just because I feed her. We can be in the grooming stations in the barn and she will be tied up. If I have to pop out of her sight for 5secs, she will nicker once she sees me again. Often she is very loud and vocal about it.
> 
> Last week I had her tied and I went in the kitchen to eat something real quick. I was in there for maybe 5mins. When I came out, she was nickering as loud as she could as if she hasnt seen me in weeks.
> 
> 2b) She does not like when she cant see me when shes tied. If I get a drink of water, if she can see me, she will keep her eye on me and nicker once I start heading back to her.
> 
> If shes tied and sees me, she pays attention to nothing and no one else. Often there have been other horses tied along side her and she will look over or around them to see me.
> 
> 3) When Im cleaning or doing whatever in her paddock, she will often follow me or come to me
> 
> 4) Our personal greeting is that every single time I go see her, I ALWAYS put my hand out and let her smell the back of it first before I do anything. I always do this before I scratch or rub her anywhere.
> 
> I feel its just a softer approach and makes her feel always at ease. Horses love to sniff (especially hands) and when you allow them to sniff you, from what I was told, it makes them feel more comfortable with you.
> 
> 5) Now I know horses who have formed a deep connection with you will often look into your eyes when you scratch or rub them. Ive had this type of connection with other horses before and awfully quick. I would just rub or scratch their neck, whithers or behind the ears and they will stare at me and give me eye contact telling me that theyre loving the attention.
> 
> I get this with my horse from time to time but not as often as I was hoping. If she does do it, its usually maybe 5 seconds at a time. Ive bonded with some other horses before where I could scratch them and they would face and stare at me until I stopped.
> 
> How would you suggest I get this deep connection with my horse.
> 
> I was suggested by someone to (every now and then) tie her up, just stroke her on her throat, neck, shoulder, whithers, back. Then tummy, and gently scratch her belly button.
> 
> Then take the back of my hand and life up her tail and gently stroke under her tail going down her butthole. Ive done this a few times and she loves it, especially having her belly button scratched. From what Ive been told, stroking resembles when they were foals and how their mama took care of them. So this gives them memories from when they were a baby. Has anyone done (or does this).
> 
> I clean her sheath and poop hole from time to time and she loves it!



You are fast on the way to having a spoiled horse, I think. What you are writing about is not necessary to have a good working relationship with your horse.

And the nickering? Is NOT something most people want a horse to do, particularly if they are at a show, or at facility with other horses or people. It is teaching the horse that they have no limits on how they behave, or no expectations. It also will lead a horse to become more and more insistent on what they want being done.

She should not be doing the constant nickering, horses are perfectly capable of standing for hours and being quiet, and patient. In fact, most of us will correct our horses for doing any of this.

Also, how many mare and foal pairs have you been around? The mares do not spend hours stroking their foals, when first born will do some of this to clean them, but they do not lick or bother their foal's bodies much, if at all, past those first few hours. Just not done. The foals do not have to be stimulated to defecate, nor to urinate. The dock is a sensitive area, and massage helps hair growth, but again is not necessary other than that.

As for horse following you, or coming up to you in paddock or wherever? I've worked in training barns and on ranch for most of my life, and I will be 60 in 4 month, so lots of years and lots of horses, and majority of the horses will approach anyone who comes in their area, some are more friendly, but they will do it to any human they come across. Others couldn't care less who is in there, they aren't friendly types.

As well as horses generally do not do the face frontal stare to anything, including us, for very long. It is a sign of intimidation for most animals, and will, if you are leading a horse, stop them in their tracks too. Which is why when trying to load or lead, people are told to not face horse while doing it.

As for the tying up and stroking horse all over, many horses will not appreciate this, nor is there any reason for it to begin with. It does not bond you to a horse, horses do not think like that, they work off of who is running the show, which should be you.

And as another said, mares do not have sheaths, and if you are cleaning her vulva? Good way to introduce bacteria into her female organs, which is why it isn't done routinely either except at breeding time.

And leaning over to scratch her belly, is a good way, when she swings at a fly, to have your face rearranged too. Again, not necessary.

If you continue as you are going, with all of this babying, you will be having more and more problems as the year winds to a close, and horse will be the winner.

Get someone that really understands horses to help you, not someone who does all this, but a real horse person.


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## rocky pony

I'm gonna have to say I think it's great and find to baby your horse...as long as you also know when to make them work and be firm, and don't let them get away with bad behavior. Horses are not like people, they don't seek a "friend", they seek a consistent, firm, and fair leader that they can trust in. They will most appreciate somebody who can control them at all times. This makes them feel safe and secure.
By that I don't mean you should try to control her all the time and nitpick, but that at any point, you should be able to easily get her to do anything you want. And you should be able to do this in a way that is easily understood by a horse. Trying to lure them around with treats as some do is generally not well understood by a horse. Beating a horse into doing stuff and not being fair or patient also is not understood. You must find the balance between being firm and being kind.

With that said, I really enjoy pampering my horses and being sweet to them. I like to take grooming time to scratch their itchy spots, talk nice to them, give them the occasional treat, etc. That's fulfilling for me...but horses are selfish animals. It's not a fault, it's a survival thing, and I think it's reasonable. If you can prove to her that you are a good leader, that will be the closest it's going to come to the "bond" you seek.


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## InStable

Awwwwww... I think it is fine to love your horse as long as your horse respects you. Finding that gentle but firm place is a great lesson in leadership - horse or human - and will develop over time. Good luck.


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## Hoofpic

Smilie said:


> Mares will rub their rear, if the area between their teats becomes accumulated with semigma
> De worming a horse, versus, 'cleaning their poop hole' helps with irritation in that area, as pin worms migrate out of the anus at night and lay eggs, which causes a great deal of itching
> Don't look for that bond, flattered if a tied horse calls for you, or when you come with food, falsely reading a bond into it
> The horse sees you as a food source and someone that will un tie them
> That bond comes over time, along with trust and respect, and it starts with good solid basics, including learning to stand quietly, alone, tied solid, not in cross ties
> What ground work have you done, preparing her to be ridden?
> None of that 'bonding stuff you mentioned, really applies, so please give some details


Will be riding her potentially tomorrow night as I have another lesson. My coach is bringing his dummy that he made to see how she is with it first, then I will maybe get on her back. But he needs to assess whether he feels my groundwork is good enough to warrant getting on her back.

Im not 100% sure if Im ready to get on her back yet. Not so much about me, but whether or not she is good enough on the ground before we move on. I can trot her fine and I can get her from a walk on the lunge line to a trot, but cant do a trot on the line to a walk on the line as she will always just stop. Her canter is also a bit too fast and we need to work on that. So as far as going from a walk to trot to canter and so on on the line, we arent there.

Moving her hind, forequarters, getting her to back up is good. Sometimes she can be a bit slow in responding cause shes acting lazy but I need to push her. 

Because shes young (4) she has her days where she will still test me (and I always expect it). Today I was asking her to back up (very little pressure) and she refused and opened her jaw at me as if she was going to bite me. I immediately said no and got her to move her hind in 2 circles each direction. Got her to stand facing me, having her think about it for a second until she puts her head down then walks up to me and puts her nose to my hand. Then I say good girl and give her rubs on the head.

We


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## Hoofpic

Palomine said:


> You are fast on the way to having a spoiled horse, I think. What you are writing about is not necessary to have a good working relationship with your horse.
> 
> And the nickering? Is NOT something most people want a horse to do, particularly if they are at a show, or at facility with other horses or people. It is teaching the horse that they have no limits on how they behave, or no expectations. It also will lead a horse to become more and more insistent on what they want being done.
> 
> She should not be doing the constant nickering, horses are perfectly capable of standing for hours and being quiet, and patient. In fact, most of us will correct our horses for doing any of this.
> 
> Also, how many mare and foal pairs have you been around? The mares do not spend hours stroking their foals, when first born will do some of this to clean them, but they do not lick or bother their foal's bodies much, if at all, past those first few hours. Just not done. The foals do not have to be stimulated to defecate, nor to urinate. The dock is a sensitive area, and massage helps hair growth, but again is not necessary other than that.
> 
> As for horse following you, or coming up to you in paddock or wherever? I've worked in training barns and on ranch for most of my life, and I will be 60 in 4 month, so lots of years and lots of horses, and majority of the horses will approach anyone who comes in their area, some are more friendly, but they will do it to any human they come across. Others couldn't care less who is in there, they aren't friendly types.
> 
> As well as horses generally do not do the face frontal stare to anything, including us, for very long. It is a sign of intimidation for most animals, and will, if you are leading a horse, stop them in their tracks too. Which is why when trying to load or lead, people are told to not face horse while doing it.
> 
> As for the tying up and stroking horse all over, many horses will not appreciate this, nor is there any reason for it to begin with. It does not bond you to a horse, horses do not think like that, they work off of who is running the show, which should be you.
> 
> And as another said, mares do not have sheaths, and if you are cleaning her vulva? Good way to introduce bacteria into her female organs, which is why it isn't done routinely either except at breeding time.
> 
> And leaning over to scratch her belly, is a good way, when she swings at a fly, to have your face rearranged too. Again, not necessary.
> 
> If you continue as you are going, with all of this babying, you will be having more and more problems as the year winds to a close, and horse will be the winner.
> 
> Get someone that really understands horses to help you, not someone who does all this, but a real horse person.


Thanks for the advice, much appreciated!

All that advice I listed above is what do you know...given from boarders and the BM themselves. The BM was the one who told me I should be cleaning her privates every now and then. And a boarder was the one who said I should stroke her in those spots every now and then.

Then I read this article and it mentioned the stroking as well.

http://royalgrovestables.blogspot.ca/2012/04/how-to-bond-deeply-with-your-horse.html


This proves that as much as some boarders may know about horsemanship, sometimes you have to be weary about some of the advice given from them.


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## Hoofpic

Speed Racer said:


> If she's wormy, deworm her. If she has smegma buildup on her teats, clean them. Rubbing her rear end on something means she has irritation from something, but it's not from her poop.


I think its from flies. Last week she was rubbing constantly and very hard on the fence that she ended up taking off some of her hairs from the top part of her tail. Ive been applying MTG every few days ever since to have it grow back.


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## WildAtHeart

rocky pony said:


> I'm gonna have to say I think it's great and find to baby your horse...as long as you also know when to make them work and be firm, and don't let them get away with bad behavior. Horses are not like people, they don't seek a "friend", they seek a consistent, firm, and fair leader that they can trust in. They will most appreciate somebody who can control them at all times. This makes them feel safe and secure.
> By that I don't mean you should try to control her all the time and nitpick, but that at any point, you should be able to easily get her to do anything you want. And you should be able to do this in a way that is easily understood by a horse. Trying to lure them around with treats as some do is generally not well understood by a horse. Beating a horse into doing stuff and not being fair or patient also is not understood. You must find the balance between being firm and being kind.
> 
> With that said, I really enjoy pampering my horses and being sweet to them. I like to take grooming time to scratch their itchy spots, talk nice to them, give them the occasional treat, etc. That's fulfilling for me...but horses are selfish animals. It's not a fault, it's a survival thing, and I think it's reasonable. If you can prove to her that you are a good leader, that will be the closest it's going to come to the "bond" you seek.


Good to know there are people who really understand horses


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## Hoofpic

Palomine.

Her standing still when tied is actually one of her problems that Ive been eagerly and really hard been trying to fix. She HATES being tied, not sure if its a phobia she has (perhaps from her previous owner) or if shes just impatient (my coach says shes just impatient).

One of my coaches believes in tying horses for long periods of time to teach patience. My other coach doesnt believe in it and believes no horse should be tied for long periods of time and that its cruel. And that horses will learn patience over time as the more and more they are used to being tied.

Ive tried everything to get her to stand still when tied. Nothing has worked. When tied in the grooming hall, she only wants to stand with her barrel to the stall doors, she will not stand still with her face facing towards the stall doors. As you can imagine, this makes for grooming her and other stuff take longer than usual. 

If I move her back (by tapping her hind) back into the spot where she moved from, she will move but she will move all the way to the end. 

So today I tried an experiment and figured what the heck, ill try tying her for 20mins (to start), go out of her sight but still closeby so i can hear and attend to her quickly if need to be.

Once she couldnt see me anymore, she was neighing, nickering and calling for me. I let 20mins slide, she kept nickering and neighing calling for me. I wanted to free her but she was constantly shifting from side to side and wasnt standing still. 

30mins past and she start pawing. Then pawing furiously as if she was upset. Now this is my biggest fear with tying horses for long periods of time in the barn. The concrete floor is really bad for their hooves and can make them lame! 

This is why if I do this experiment, I would rather do it by tying her to a wood post or something, that way when she paws she is pawing dirt, not concreate. The last thing I want and need is for her to wreck her hooves and get lame from pawing the barn floor.

So 40mins past now, shes still tied and shes getting upset wanting to be free. I was tempted to untie her and tie her to a wood post outside but I didnt. 

At this time she had pooped 4, yes 4 times already. Isnt constant pooping a sign of a horse being scared.

I was patiently waiting in the room next door for her to settle down and be quiet. Finally after 50mins she started settling down and I let 10mins pass for her to remain in this state (she wasnt perfect but much better from 15mins ago) so I went up to her, told her that I was going to untie her, told her good girl and gave her a piece of carrot. I felt for a very first time of doing this experiment, 50mins is more than enough time for her to get accustomed to it.

With that being said and seeing how it went today, Im not sure how I feel about continuing doing this excersize with her anymore. At one point, she was getting so mad and antzy I was scared that she was going to jerk her head back and try to free herself.


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## Smilie

Find a safe place to tie her, and do it every day after you work her. This to me , is just as important as any other part of training a saddle horse, having a horse learn to accept being tied solid, alone,
If you only have that concrete floor to tie her on, buy a rubber matt.
I'm already a bit concerned, if your trainer is one of those that uses a dummy


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## Foxhunter

I agree with worrying about using a dummy.

In all the years of starting horses I have only ever seen one horse wear a dummy and to get it that it was not going to move meant welding a metal bar to the saddle. 

A horse will be startled by a rider first time not because of the weight, you can lean over the saddle and have them move around with no worries and it cannot be that comfortable for them, but when you actually get on them they are startled. This is because they are not use to the shadow above and behind them. 
By standing in things higher than them and having them stand alongside they get use to the shadow and don't worry.


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## greentree

I am worried about a trainer considering putting YOU on a horse that they are unsure of. In my book, any trainer worth a Penny would get on that horse themselves..... I know I would.


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## Hoofpic

Smilie said:


> Find a safe place to tie her, and do it every day after you work her. This to me , is just as important as any other part of training a saddle horse, having a horse learn to accept being tied solid, alone,
> If you only have that concrete floor to tie her on, buy a rubber matt.
> I'm already a bit concerned, if your trainer is one of those that uses a dummy


Im currently in touch with 2 trainers, but one teaches me on site and the other just talks to me over the phone for now due to her not being able to come out on my schedule.]

How do you feel about the one trainer who says you shouldnt be tying horses for long periods of time because there is no need to? She says horses will learn patience over time from you just tying them when you have to (grooming etc).
She says you want them being tied up to be a positive experience each time.


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## Hoofpic

greentree said:


> I am worried about a trainer considering putting YOU on a horse that they are unsure of. In my book, any trainer worth a Penny would get on that horse themselves..... I know I would.


This trainer isnt unsure about me on my horse. Besides I have to get on her eventually.


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## rocky pony

Why can't the trainer get on the horse to make sure she's safe before you do? Why is a dummy needed?


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## Avna

I have never heard of this dummy procedure. What would be the purpose?


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## Smilie

Hoofpic said:


> Im currently in touch with 2 trainers, but one teaches me on site and the other just talks to me over the phone for now due to her not being able to come out on my schedule.]
> 
> How do you feel about the one trainer who says you shouldnt be tying horses for long periods of time because there is no need to? She says horses will learn patience over time from you just tying them when you have to (grooming etc).
> She says you want them being tied up to be a positive experience each time.


Completely disagree. A horse never learns patience, accepting being tied solid for extended periods, without doing it
Horses should never be un tied when they are fussing, as you are rewarding the wrong thing
I often tie one horse up in the barn, while I ride another. I then tie that horse up, and work the second one. It becomes routine for them. In fact, I have at times, gone about doing other chores, including that dreaded house work, and forgotten a horse left tied in the barn, for an hour or so. That horse is standing there quietly, waiting
I trail ride, where our horses are tied up over night, I also go to one day type shows, where a horse must stand tied to a trailer.
I very much doubt your `trainer`has done either, from her comment!
Horses are creatures of habit. They don`t interpolate standing for short periods, tied, with accepting be tied for extended periods.


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## Hoofpic

Smilie said:


> Completely disagree. A horse never learns patience, accepting being tied solid for extended periods, without doing it
> Horses should never be un tied when they are fussing, as you are rewarding the wrong thing
> I often tie one horse up in the barn, while I ride another. I then tie that horse up, and work the second one. It becomes routine for them. In fact, I have at times, gone about doing other chores, including that dreaded house work, and forgotten a horse left tied in the barn, for an hour or so. That horse is standing there quietly, waiting
> I trail ride, where our horses are tied up over night, I also go to one day type shows, where a horse must stand tied to a trailer.
> I very much doubt your `trainer`has done either, from her comment!
> Horses are creatures of habit. They don`t interpolate standing for short periods, tied, with accepting be tied for extended periods.


I just had a 2.5 hour lesson tonight that went really really well. Infact the best lesson my horse and I have had to date. It was all ground work, went into intermediate stuff. I have my long list of stuff to work on with her for the next bit.

One of the tasks is getting her to improve on ground tying (will do it in the arena). I got in touch with her previous owner today and she said that shes done ground tying with her but because of her short attention span, shes only been able to stand for 15mins. Essentially, I want to be able to walk all around her without having her move. My coach said that this will teach patience and a patient horse needs to be able to stand when untied.

Perhaps I can work on ground tying first, then move her into tying her to posts, etc?


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## Smilie

Hoofpic said:


> I just had a 2.5 hour lesson tonight that went really really well. Infact the best lesson my horse and I have had to date. It was all ground work, went into intermediate stuff. I have my long list of stuff to work on with her for the next bit.
> 
> One of the tasks is getting her to improve on ground tying (will do it in the arena). I got in touch with her previous owner today and she said that shes done ground tying with her but because of her short attention span, shes only been able to stand for 15mins. Essentially, I want to be able to walk all around her without having her move. My coach said that this will teach patience and a patient horse needs to be able to stand when untied.
> 
> Perhaps I can work on ground tying first, then move her into tying her to posts, etc?



Very true that ground tying is also a great skill to teach, but it is a separate skill, and not a substitute for learning to stand tied solid.
Many horses will ground tie, but won't tie solid, and ground tying really is not something you do and just leave the horse out of sight

All our horses are also taught to ground tie, so I can ground tie to groom, saddle and un saddle, set up a trail course in the arena, etc, but it does not teach a horse to accept standing tied solid, as that requires 100% giving to pressure
Here is Charlie ground tied, while I am changing the trail course





And here she is , tied to a tree


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## Smilie

Smilie, ground tied for lunch break


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## Hoofpic

Very nice Smilie, congrats. I wish my mare could do that.


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## jamesqf

Something to consider is that a horse liking you* is not necessarily the same as "bonding". I'd say I was pretty close to the mythical rainbows & unicorn f*rts level of bonding with my first horse: out on the trail, we trusted each other completely, and could pretty well read each other's mind, but she was still a grumpy, crochety old mare who really didn't like anyone.

*However you determine that. Is it YOU she likes, or the fact that you're a source of food/treats/scratches? (A question not unique to horses, alas.)


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## Hoofpic

jamesqf said:


> Something to consider is that a horse liking you* is not necessarily the same as "bonding". I'd say I was pretty close to the mythical rainbows & unicorn f*rts level of bonding with my first horse: out on the trail, we trusted each other completely, and could pretty well read each other's mind, but she was still a grumpy, crochety old mare who really didn't like anyone.
> 
> *However you determine that. Is it YOU she likes, or the fact that you're a source of food/treats/scratches? (A question not unique to horses, alas.)


Good points you brought up James. I had my lesson last night and there was a couple times where my coach commented on how he notices that she comes to me for comfort (which I do really think she does). She will get up close to me and usually stick out her muzzle so I can rub her head or nose, or let her sniff.

Ive had my coaches comment before on the same thing as well about a month ago.

I do notice that if a stranger approaches her and pets her, reaches out to her, she can be a bit uncomfortable at times and will come to me or look to me. One time one of the boarders relatives came up to us while I was grazing her. She didnt like him petting her and she immediately moved right close to me and put her nose out to me.


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## gingerscout

I think my horse is starting to like me because he would rather spend time with me then eat his food now.. and that is a HUGE thing for him..lol


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