# True Wealth



## racer179 (Jun 7, 2009)

would you rather be fat and rich or skinny and poor ? haha lol just a random question


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## DixiesPaintedNova (Nov 18, 2008)

Yep so true. Being rich means nothing if you dont have people around who love you and who you love.


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## TaMMa89 (Apr 12, 2008)

That's so true. It's a pity how some of people sometimes forget money isn't everything and miss all beautiful (little) things aroud them.


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## FGRanch (Feb 9, 2008)

Well I guess I'm pretty dang wealthy then! Great family but no money...lol! Dang it!


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## goldilockz (Aug 1, 2008)

I concur!!

And I would take "skinny and poor with wonderful family and friends" over fat and rich any day


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## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

Back when I was still one of the rats in the race, I went to my doctor with many health problems. He asked me why I was sacrificing my health for wealth, and when would I know I had enough of everything. I realised there would never be enough. I had to start looking inward for the gratification I needed. I stopped thinking that the designer clothes and expensive cars would make me happy. 
It was a tough road but I'm finally content on the inside. I had to let the fancy stuff go but I found out how much is enough. I would be happy no matter if we were living in a tent as long as I have my husband with me and the love and support of my family. 
I like to make the analogy that money is like a woman's purse. The bigger the purse the more stuff you feel like you need to put in it. Unfortunately the more heavy and cumbersome it becomes too.
All you really need is a little bag to keep the really important stuff in. The rest is just junk.


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## Spastic_Dove (Oct 4, 2007)

I dunno, I still would like some money. You can only eat Ramen and easy mac so much before you hate it lol

I see the point though, obviously


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## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

Spastic_Dove said:


> I dunno, I still would like some money. You can only eat Ramen and easy mac so much before you hate it lol
> 
> I see the point though, obviously


I know the feeling. If I won the lottery I wouldn't throw the ticket away :lol:


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## goldilockz (Aug 1, 2008)

Thread revisit! I think I've gotten to the point where I just don't like money. I don't like what it tends to turn people into when they have too much of it, and I don't like how much stress it can bring into people's lives. 

So long as I have food in mah belleh, clothes on mah back, and a reliable saddle... well what else is there?


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## FGRanch (Feb 9, 2008)

I dislike money most of the time to...but I also REALLY like money!


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## Kentucky (Aug 2, 2008)

Is it the money that changes people or is it the way people treat those who suddenly have money changes and they change becuse of it?


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## DixiesPaintedNova (Nov 18, 2008)

I think its the people who have the money let it go to their heads. but it could also be because of the people who they end up bein around because they have money. But money can make people oblivious to the obvious. 

I have no clue if that makes any sense.:lol:


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## goldilockz (Aug 1, 2008)

Kentucky said:


> Is it the money that changes people or is it the way people treat those who suddenly have money changes and they change becuse of it?


I think that depends on the person. Some people will let the money go to their heads because now they can buy whatever they want or think they are better because they can get better things, and others wouldn't be affected except that now they have people basically kissing their behinds because they want to be friends with them.


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## RusticWildFire (Jul 6, 2008)

Great thread! 

It bothers me sometimes that our society is so much about money. It is getting to the point where it defines who you are and it's unfortunate. There are many kind and generous wealthy people, but the majority of them are so incredibly stuck on themselves and only about money. I don't think any amount of money will ever solely satisfy someone. Without love and the closeness of someone special it means nothing. If you have no one to share your life with (be it a friend, family member, spouse, child, significant other) I don't think any of it means anything. As humans, we need those connections. 

In my experiences the nicest people are those who are most unfortunate. I really think they truly know what is important in life and cherish everything. 

You need money to get by of course, but it's by no means everything in life. And as for the question raised by racer, I'd rather be skinny and poor. 

K I'm rambling a bit now as I'm in somewhat of a hurry so I'm having trouble saying exactly what I want to say, but I think that's the jist of it!


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## 3neighs (Jul 15, 2008)

Vida, I loved your story! 

My husband and I grew very differently in terms of money. I grew up, not poor, but money was always tight and material things wasn't even part of our vocabulary. My mom stayed at home and we lived off my dad's income. Even though we didn't have a lot of money, I felt we were wealthy because of our love for each other and the many good friends who were our friends simply for who we were.
My husband, however, grew up with parents who made a lot of money and there wasn't anything he wanted and didn't get. His parents divorced when he was 11 and they played the "who can buy the kids the most" card against each other. He's told me his childhood was less than happy because his dad was never around and his mom was too busy putting on airs to impress their shallow friends. Today, we live similarly to the lifestyle I had growing up in a rundown 100+ year old farmhouse on one income, old vehicles and clothes from Walmart, but I'm satisfied knowing our girls will grow up with two parents who will always put them first and teach them you can be happy without being rich.

Now, if we were to win the lottery I like to think we wouldn't change from who we are now. We would definitely pay off the mortgage and other bills, but I would put most of it away for when we're old because I'm seeing the way my parents and father-in-law are struggling now with retirement.


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## close2prfct (Mar 9, 2009)

If I had a lot of money now it would go to cover my mom's medical expenses and I would probably retire simply because I am getting to the point of being in constant pain every day when I get off work. I wouldn't change my living habits much I've never liked shopping but I would make sure all the basics were covered.


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## shmurmer4 (Dec 27, 2008)

Kentucky said:


> Is it the money that changes people or is it the way people treat those who suddenly have money changes and they change becuse of it?


it all goes back to new money vs old money.


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## shmurmer4 (Dec 27, 2008)

RusticWildFire said:


> Great thread!
> 
> It bothers me sometimes that our society is so much about money. It is getting to the point where it defines who you are and it's unfortunate. There are many kind and generous wealthy people, but the majority of them are so incredibly stuck on themselves and only about money. I don't think any amount of money will ever solely satisfy someone. Without love and the closeness of someone special it means nothing. If you have no one to share your life with (be it a friend, family member, spouse, child, significant other) I don't think any of it means anything. As humans, we need those connections.
> 
> ...


Interesting, I've always found it to be the opposite. (the worst off were not that great of people.) They often see people with money of any type and become jealous, and it seems they have a grudge against them, even if they've never met.


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## goldilockz (Aug 1, 2008)

RusticWildFire said:


> Great thread!
> 
> It bothers me sometimes that our society is so much about money. It is getting to the point where it defines who you are and it's unfortunate. There are many kind and generous wealthy people, but the majority of them are so incredibly stuck on themselves and only about money. I don't think any amount of money will ever solely satisfy someone. Without love and the closeness of someone special it means nothing. If you have no one to share your life with (be it a friend, family member, spouse, child, significant other) I don't think any of it means anything. As humans, we need those connections.
> 
> ...


I agree with you 100% 

I think going without tends to build character and you learn what truly matters in life rather than placing value in material things such as cars, expensive homes, and high end clothing.

At least that's been my experience in interacting with both ends of the spectrum.


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## RusticWildFire (Jul 6, 2008)

shmurmer4 said:


> Interesting, I've always found it to be the opposite. (the worst off were not that great of people.) They often see people with money of any type and become jealous, and it seems they have a grudge against them, even if they've never met.



I dunno..I've met a few nice rich people but the majority of them are not very nice. And Truly, the kindest people I have ever interacted with were the poorest. They were the hardest working, most appreciative and they cherished life the most. 

It all depends who you meet I guess..


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## shmurmer4 (Dec 27, 2008)

RusticWildFire said:


> I dunno..I've met a few nice rich people but the majority of them are not very nice. And Truly, the kindest people I have ever interacted with were the poorest. They were the hardest working, most appreciative and they cherished life the most.
> 
> It all depends who you meet I guess..


I guess it definitely does because most people automatically stereotype someone who looks or dresses wealthy as an ***, well no matter how nice that person truly is, they're still going to be an *** in the persons eyes.

Meh. Ethnocentric ********  (kidding about the ******* part  )


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## goldilockz (Aug 1, 2008)

I think most of us are posting based on personal experiences, rather than assumptions; whereas, you're making assumptions that our opinions are based on prejudice or jealousy or something.


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## TaMMa89 (Apr 12, 2008)

Vidaloco said:


> Back when I was still one of the rats in the race, I went to my doctor with many health problems. He asked me why I was sacrificing my health for wealth, and when would I know I had enough of everything. I realised there would never be enough. I had to start looking inward for the gratification I needed. I stopped thinking that the designer clothes and expensive cars would make me happy.
> It was a tough road but I'm finally content on the inside. I had to let the fancy stuff go but I found out how much is enough. I would be happy no matter if we were living in a tent as long as I have my husband with me and the love and support of my family.
> I like to make the analogy that money is like a woman's purse. The bigger the purse the more stuff you feel like you need to put in it. Unfortunately the more heavy and cumbersome it becomes too.
> All you really need is a little bag to keep the really important stuff in. The rest is just junk.


Glad you've find that point of life, Vida. I'm very happy for you and hope more of people would find it (me included). Unfortunately you often need a some kind of crisis (sickness, lose someone close to you etc) before you can find it.



RusticWildFire said:


> In my experiences the nicest people are those who are most unfortunate. I really think they truly know what is important in life and cherish everything.


I don't know but sometimes I've caught that people in developing countries are more happier than many of us (really don't know, that's just my belief). But I mean, I see there's a lot of depression and other mental disorders, broken families, suicides, discontentment etc. around us in our developed countries where material level is good and everything should be ok.

Like someone said something like that:
you can buy a luxury bed but not good sleep
you can buy a good teacher but not learning
you can buy medicines but not good health
you can buy people but not real love


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## shmurmer4 (Dec 27, 2008)

goldilockz said:


> I think most of us are posting based on personal experiences, rather than assumptions; whereas, you're making assumptions that our opinions are based on prejudice or jealousy or something.


It is my personal experience that people base their ideals on this subject on assumptions that have been fed to them by others.


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## goldilockz (Aug 1, 2008)

shmurmer4 said:


> It is my personal experience that people base their ideals on this subject on assumptions that have been fed to them by others.


:lol: Confusing sentence. Did those people tell you their ideals were based on assumptions fed to them? How can you know *their *opinion isn't based on experience?


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## Kentucky (Aug 2, 2008)

shmurmer4 said:


> It is my personal experience that people base their ideals on this subject on assumptions that have been fed to them by others.


 
I agree with shrumer4, some people will dislike someone or anyone with money or at are successful in anyway shape or form, exspecially if they are more successful than them. I like to say this person is this way or that way becuase they have money or don't is unfair. However it may not be how they judge their wealth, they could have a billion dollar in the bank and still say their most treasure things are their family and their true friends


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## shmurmer4 (Dec 27, 2008)

goldilockz said:


> :lol: Confusing sentence. Did those people tell you their ideals were based on assumptions fed to them? How can you know *their *opinion isn't based on experience?


Their eyes.

Most people of the lower classes portray people of the upper to be worse off in every way, because they're not. Have you ever notice it is cool to be poor? Yes, people brag about it all the time. Also, another example is that it is easier to get better looking females than less good looking females. The reason being the worse looking females are normally stuck up and think they're great, when in actuality they suck at life. Better looking females often have a lower self esteem (which doesn't make sense) so they're fairly easy to acquire. 

I'm disagreeing with this topic because I've money, not my parents, mine. Everywhere I go it seems people want to bash something they don't have. I've been around all of these types people you guys are speaking of and I've observed them be nothing but nice to others.


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## goldilockz (Aug 1, 2008)

No disrespect meant, shmurmer, but you're talking about how the "poor" make these _unfounded _assumptions, yet your "status" states that you are Haughty.

How is that not describing you, someone who claims to have money, as what you accuse the poor of falsely categorizing you as?

1. disdainfully proud; snobbish; scornfully arrogant; supercilious: haughty aristocrats.

2. Archaic. lofty or noble; exalted.


It is ironic to me, as someone who has been both poor and more fortunate, that you would be defending the rich that you claim get wrongfully accused of arrogance and superiority, when you have a word defining yourself as just that.


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## goldilockz (Aug 1, 2008)

Wait, What?

What is this business about "acquiring females"? Could you try to be less offensive regarding women, please?


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## RusticWildFire (Jul 6, 2008)

goldilockz said:


> No disrespect meant, shmurmer, but you're talking about how the "poor" make these _unfounded _assumptions, yet your "status" states that you are Haughty.
> 
> How is that not describing you, someone who claims to have money, as what you accuse the poor of falsely categorizing you as?
> 
> ...



Well said, thank you for that. Pretty much exactly what I wanted to say.

Shurmer, you are acting in exactly the way that turns me off to most rich people. 
Like I said before, I DO know several very nice rich people. In fact a couple of what I consider to be the nicest and most generous people I know are rich (right up there with mostly poor people). But they would NEVER go around flaunting their fortune. They are all very modest and down to earth people.


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## shmurmer4 (Dec 27, 2008)

I don't go around here or anywhere talking about how much money I have and the haughty is a joke.


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## shmurmer4 (Dec 27, 2008)

Kentucky said:


> I agree with shrumer4, some people will dislike someone or anyone with money or at are successful in anyway shape or form, exspecially if they are more successful than them. I like to say this person is this way or that way becuase they have money or don't is unfair. However it may not be how they judge their wealth, they could have a billion dollar in the bank and still say their most treasure things are their family and their true friends


, Prepare to be flamed for agreeing with me.


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## RusticWildFire (Jul 6, 2008)

I think your attitude and comment about acquiring beautiful women speaks volumes.


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## Kentucky (Aug 2, 2008)

shmurmer4 said:


> It is my personal experience that people base their ideals on this subject on assumptions that have been fed to them by others.


I agreed with this statement and I still do 




shmurmer4 said:


> Their eyes.
> 
> Most people of the lower classes portray people of the upper to be worse off in every way, because they're not. Have you ever notice it is cool to be poor? Yes, people brag about it all the time. Also, another example is that it is easier to get better looking females than less good looking females. The reason being the worse looking females are normally stuck up and think they're great, when in actuality they suck at life. Better looking females often have a lower self esteem (which doesn't make sense) so they're fairly easy to acquire.
> 
> I'm disagreeing with this topic because I've money, not my parents, mine. Everywhere I go it seems people want to bash something they don't have. I've been around all of these types people you guys are speaking of and I've observed them be nothing but nice to others.


I strongly disagree with this statement. oh and I am willing to bet you are not the only one on this site with money.


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## Walkamile (Dec 29, 2008)

This thread is very interesting in that it sways from what real wealth is or how you measure real wealth to prejudices of wealth or not having wealth. I think there are many assumptions being made that might be from an incident or someone else's experience of an incident. To broadly say that poor people are envious or jealous of rich people (yes I am over simplifying this) is just too narrow and to me a bit offensive.

I will say that living in Maine, known as Vacationland, we get many tourists. They are a necessary part of our economy. However, many are very rude and quite obnoxious. The general attitude is that they could buy or sell our quaint little towns and we should get down on our knees and kiss their feet. And yes they are wealthy. Do I think all wealthy people are like this, of course not. I just happen to believe that people should all be treated with respect. Even those in the tourist/service industry!

I am neither wealthy or poor by monetary measures. I am of the ever fading middle class. I measure my wealth by the quality of my relationships with family , friends and co-workers. I am over joyed when someone I know does well and I do not turn green with envy and look for "changes" in them because of any monetary gains. Perhaps I am fortunate that the people I come in contact with (and they are very varied ) are all exceptional people.

As far as measuring someone by their income ect... well that's pretty limited and shallow to me. I would hate for someone to look at me and "label" me because of my income ect...I am so much more and in some aspects, less. There is always something to strive for, personally and professionally. But not to out do someone. It should be to develop one's self to be more .. whether it is to be a more patient parent, tolerant sibling, thoughtful daughter/son...ect. 

Sure money is great. But I do not measure myself or anyone else by it. I measure the character of the person. How they treat others, and yes some lesser and more fortunate than them. 

I , like Vida, had to make some choices for "balance" in my life. Time for family, friends , myself, and my career. If it had been all one sided, career, than my family would have suffered. I knew myself well enough that it would have been too easy to immerse myself in my career and "forget" about what was truly important in my life. Will I look down on someone that has chosen differently then me. No. These are choices we make for ourselves.

Sorry for the novel, and I hope I made sense. :wink:


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## shmurmer4 (Dec 27, 2008)

Kentucky said:


> I agreed with this statement and I still do
> 
> 
> 
> ...


me too


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## shmurmer4 (Dec 27, 2008)

Nice to know we even have mods helping to derail eddie's thread.


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## goldilockz (Aug 1, 2008)

shmurmer4 said:


> Nice to know we even have mods helping to derail eddie's thread.


First, I don't see how the thread has been derailed, as we are still talking about true wealth and the attitudes therein.

Second, that's a little disrespectful to the mods, and I haven't seen them do anything except enter into a discussion. Just because you aren't liking what they are saying does not mean they are helping to derail a thread. 

With that, I'm stepping out.


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## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

I think we are all guilty of making assumptions. There are bad and good in the wealthy, middle class and poor. 
Please refrain from bashing any class of people, each other or we mods. 
This thread I believe was started to ask the question, how do you measure wealth? not how much you have, don't have or what makes someone better or worse for their economic status. 
Back to topic


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## shmurmer4 (Dec 27, 2008)

Yep, very disrespectful. 

I'm not taking shots at anyone here.

Then again, it doesn't really bother me when interweb people do so against me. 

And yes, the thread has been derailed, it started with why people shouldn't be all about money because in the end, the only thing that will be there for you is a true friend/family/etc. Now it is talking about how I'm wrong for making observations that people hate rich people because they're rude, etc.


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## shmurmer4 (Dec 27, 2008)

Vidaloco said:


> I think we are all guilty of making assumptions. There are bad and good in the wealthy, middle class and poor.
> Please refrain from bashing any class of people, each other or we mods.
> This thread I believe was started to ask the question, how do you measure wealth? not how much you have, don't have or what makes someone better or worse for their economic status.
> Back to topic


Instigating too.

Having so many people a phone call away, no matter what has happened. So many that you cannot choose who you should call to help.


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## RusticWildFire (Jul 6, 2008)

shmurmer4 said:


> Nice to know we even have mods helping to derail eddie's thread.


I don't think I have derailed this thread. I responded to the question in the way I understood it and stated my view. I was challenged and backed myself up. I think it all pertains to the original question. And right now I am once again backing myself up.
I do apologize if it appears that I have derailed this thread but that was not my intention. 

Now, back to the original discussion


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## Tennessee (Dec 7, 2008)

So, I read a few of the comments, but I don't care to take part in an off topic arguement. 

My family is high middle class(sometimes middle middle class, depends on whether I am getting a new horse or not ), so I can say that money is definately important. I mean, family and all is important, but without money and wealth we would be living in a cardboard box with begging for money out of a tin can.

Bottom line(don't tell my parents I said this ), my plan right now is to gold-dig a little.  I will want to be "in love" and all, but whatever man I marry better be making a supportive income and like horses.


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## hotreddun (Jun 27, 2008)

The fading middle class that everybody wants to be in is the story of Americana. People who are "too rich" are snooty and wasteful and people who are "too poor" aren't working and are sucking up welfare money. I've heard both of those statements MORE than once. Everybody wants to be in the middle class. I never really paid attention to such things until I got married. My husbands family is constantly observing and gossiping about money and labels. My mother in law forced my father in law (divorced now no wonder) to sell his BMW because she said "people looked at her weird in it...like she was having a midlife crisis." She is constantly talking about people's salaries and comparing them to my husband. I could go on and on about my in laws. What an annoyance. Personally...I think you should have enough to live comfortably...save enough to keep living comfortably and spend the rest on what you love.  True wealth is family etc...but you still have to live...and I won't live in a tent or cardboard box. Call me materialistic...I have to have central AC and indoor plumbing...


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## goldilockz (Aug 1, 2008)

hotreddun said:


> The fading middle class that everybody wants to be in is the story of Americana. People who are "too rich" are snooty and wasteful and people who are "too poor" aren't working and are sucking up welfare money. I've heard both of those statements MORE than once. Everybody wants to be in the middle class. I never really paid attention to such things until I got married. My husbands family is constantly observing and gossiping about money and labels. My mother in law forced my father in law (divorced now no wonder) to sell his BMW because she said "people looked at her weird in it...like she was having a midlife crisis." She is constantly talking about people's salaries and comparing them to my husband. I could go on and on about my in laws. What an annoyance. Personally...I think you should have enough to live comfortably...save enough to keep living comfortably and spend the rest on what you love.  True wealth is family etc...but you still have to live...and I won't live in a tent or cardboard box. Call me materialistic...I have to have central AC and indoor plumbing...


If being materialistic means needing indoor plumbing... I am materialistic too! :lol:

Great post


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## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

Ok ok, I admit it...I must have some sort of "facilities". I think I have said on this forum before, you're never too poor to not buy good toilet paper. :lol:


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## goldilockz (Aug 1, 2008)

Vidaloco said:


> Ok ok, I admit it...I must have some sort of "facilities". I think I have said on this forum before, you're never too poor to not buy good toilet paper. :lol:


I second that! I'll give up cable before I give up good toilet paper :lol:


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## TaMMa89 (Apr 12, 2008)

Walkamile and Vida said it well. Personally I think there are jealous poor people, not jealous poor people, arrogant rich people, humble rich people... People just often remember & pick those negative stereotypes and talk about them.

Well, I think differences between classes aren't so apparent over here so I can't comment that so well.


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## ilovemyPhillip (Apr 4, 2009)

so true...
But id rather be fat & poor vs. skinny and poor lol


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