# Equinophobia...THANKS DAD!!



## toonces302 (Aug 27, 2012)

*Apologies*

...for using the word "balls"..."courage" or "guts" would've been a better word.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Um, you _do_ know you're posting on a horse board, right? That means we LIKE horses here. 

Most of us have had plenty of bad horse experiences but they were by our own volition, since we didn't have anyone but ourselves to blame for our own stupidity. 

How old are you now? If you're an adult, I think there's more to this than just the one incident with horses. Sounds like you have a lot of resentment built up toward your father. Have you considered counseling?


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## toonces302 (Aug 27, 2012)

Speed Racer said:


> Um, you _do_ know you're posting on a horse board, right? That means we LIKE horses here.
> 
> Most of us have had plenty of bad horse experiences but they were by our own volition, since we didn't have anyone but ourselves to blame for our own stupidity.
> 
> How old are you now? If you're an adult, I think there's more to this than just the one incident with horses. Sounds like you have a lot of resentment built up toward your father. Have you considered counseling?


Speed Racer, tell me about YOUR first experience when riding. Were you given any instructions? Did the horse obey you? And, how were me and my sister stupid, as an 11 year old kid being put on an unruly horse without any experience, training or instructions?


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

It sounds like you have others issues with your father. Part of being an adult is learning to forgive and let go. If you don't, you will have to learn to suffer the consequences of being bitter and angry about things for the rest of your life. Let it go. Look at it from his side. He was trying to give you a good experience by taking you to ride horses. It didn't turn out the way he or you thought it would, maybe. So what? Haven't you ever messed up? He's right, if you could gave controlled the horse, it would have worked out better. So what? It didn't work out so great. Forgive him, and get over it.
For his sake, but mostly for yours.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

I am not going to between the lines on this...I will just say before I would put my children on horses that I am not familiar with I would make darn sure they are broke to death. At a trailride establishment I would assume they would be? If not, I would haul my kids off the horses and demand my money back. You kids were very lucky none of you were hurt. As for your dad taking no action & blaming you for not controlling the horse, I agree with Speedracer, there is more issues here than told in this thread.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

welcome to the horse world. it happens to everybody. 

first time i rode a horse i was 2 so i wouldnt remember. but ive been bucked off, kicked, bit, ran over. it happens. you get hurt, and yes sometimes you get scared....your dealing with a 1900lb+ animal.


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## heymckate (Nov 23, 2010)

I'm not the one to ask.. my second-ever riding lesson involved a well-trained school horse spooking, resulting in my 10-year-old butt ending up on the ground and getting stepped on. And yet here I am, 19 years and several broken bones later. I wouldn't trade horses for anything.

Any reputable barn would not put young children on unsuitable horses. However, horses ARE animals with minds of their own, and like in my lesson, sometimes the most well-trained horses will get scared or upset. Perhaps there was a dangerous animal on the trail they sensed? You never know. Horses are herd animals, so it's possible yours spooked, and your sister's followed to stay with the herd.

Was it your fault? Probably not. Was it your dad's fault? Nah. I doubt it was even the fault of the people who selected those horses for you. Just one of those freak things.

I encourage you and your balls to give horses a shot again. Conquering your fears can be a very affirming and satisfying.


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## toonces302 (Aug 27, 2012)

katbalu said:


> It sounds like you have others issues with your father. Part of being an adult is learning to forgive and let go. If you don't, you will have to learn to suffer the consequences of being bitter and angry about things for the rest of your life. Let it go. Look at it from his side. He was trying to give you a good experience by taking you to ride horses. It didn't turn out the way he or you thought it would, maybe. So what? Haven't you ever messed up? He's right, if you could gave controlled the horse, it would have worked out better. So what? It didn't work out so great. Forgive him, and get over it.
> For his sake, but mostly for yours.


You're right, Katbalu. I've already forgiven him. But the point is, I had no idea how to control the horse.


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

I'm sure there are many kids out there who would love for their father to take them out for a day and do something fun. More then likely, thats what your dad wanted to do for you and your siblings, spend a day together. He didnt know how it would end up. 

If you got into a really bad car accident on the way there, would you hold that against him and never drive? You need to give your dad more credit. To me, this is just another example of a product of the "me generation"


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Good  that means it doesn't matter who was wrong or right. It was simply an experience. Let him have his opinion, and you have yours, and be okay with it.


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## MN Tigerstripes (Feb 20, 2009)

By the time I was 9 I'd been run over, run away with, fallen on, and fallen off several times. My horses were "trained" but would occasionally take the opportunity to do whatever they heck they felt. My poor niece took her first fall at 1.5 yrs old or so? Off a full sized horse and she still rides today. 

I feel for you and your sister, it can be a very frightening and traumatic experience, but it's probably time to let it go or get some counseling to help yourself get over this incident. Besides you can't let fear rule your life.


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

Then get somebody with experience and LEARN. nobody can expect to just hop on a horse and win the World Show. you have to get experience.

i know I couldnt control the first horse i rode. i was *2*. but my parents helped me out, they got me a trainer, and i learned.


another thing is, sometimes even if you know HOW to control the horse, any 11 yr old trying to muscle a horse around is gonna end up losing. horses can be tricky, and are very smart...plus if it was an experienced trail horse, that had alot of non-experienced riders, it would know tricks to get away with it


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## BarrelracingArabian (Mar 31, 2010)

Get over it dealing with horses is always risky whether ypu know what you are doing or not. My first ride i qas 2 however that same horse ended up being my first horse when i turned 7 and he was no dead head amd my parents were un horsey. My second horse was a 3 yr old extremely green buck at everything but a walk mustang and by 9 i had a concussion many bruises mant falls and mt first 8 second bronc ride. My next horse was a kids 25 yr old mare, she spooked at a large gelding rearing by the trail we were on and my foot caught on a bush making me summer sault into the dirt/ rocks / sticker bushes endinh with deep gasheds in both shoulders thay was all before age 11. Now at 17 ive had several other falls, freak acvidents but you bet i don't blame any body or stop riding.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## toonces302 (Aug 27, 2012)

wetrain17 said:


> I'm sure there are many kids out there who would love for their father to take them out for a day and do something fun. More then likely, thats what your dad wanted to do for you and your siblings, spend a day together. He didnt know how it would end up.
> 
> If you got into a really bad car accident on the way there, would you hold that against him and never drive? You need to give your dad more credit. To me, this is just another example of a product of the "me generation"


I don't fault my Dad for spending time with his kids. I do, however, fault him for placing me and my 9 year old sister, with no training whatsoever, on a 1200 pound dangerous animal and them fault them for not being in control of a potentially aggressive animal 20x their size.

Does the name Christopher Reeve ring a bell?


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

if youre trying to get us to say that all horses are dangerous and it should be banned then i dont know how yu think this is gonna turn out.

people get hurt all the time....not just on horses. ive been kicked straight in the face....i still ride. 

people have gotten broken bones, been hospitalized and some have been killed. but thats not gonna make people quit.

you learn from it. Theres a reason that people have the saying "get bucked off get right back on" because if you dont you are going to be afraid. face your fears, dont go at people who have a passion for something you are afraid of, trying to prove some point....everybody knows that it can be dangerous. and everybody is okay with that if they ride.


i highly doubt those people would have put you on those horses if they thought you would be hurt....NOBODY wants that kind of thing to happen. and NOBODY wants the lawsuit that could potentially come of it.

maybe the horses were just barn sour, maybe they spooked at something, and ran to the safe place(barn) maybe they were having an off day...or maybe they knew that they had 2 very novice riders on board and figured theyd get away with going back home.

maybe your dad overreacted. no its not really plausible for a young novice rider to be able to control the horse. his bad.

but thats not really a big deal. my parents used to blame me when my mare would knock down a barrel, or i would miss my cow, whatever in competitions, and that was when i became more experienced....it happens.

how is bringing up chris reeves or other accidents relate to this?


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## Jewelsb (May 8, 2012)

I don't think he should have put young kids on unruly horses and going on a trail ride as your first ride with no instructions isn't ok either. I dont think it's okay to blame kids when they didn't get instructions on how to handle a horse. My own mother used to blame me and my sister for EVERYTHING even if it wasn't our fault, but I've grown up and gotten past it. So I do see your point. That was not okay. I feel this needs
to be let go though. He is lucky you guys didnt get hurt.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## heymckate (Nov 23, 2010)

toonces302 said:


> I don't fault my Dad for spending time with his kids. I do, however, fault him for placing me and my 9 year old sister, with no training whatsoever, on a 1200 pound dangerous animal and them fault them for not being in control of a potentially aggressive animal 20x their size.
> 
> Does the name Christopher Reeve ring a bell?


I don't see why Chris Reeve applies here..?

Like I mentioned previously, no reputable stable would put children on an unsafe horse. I will assume you went to a reputable place.

And again, horses have a mind of their own. Why would you blame your dad for something out of his control? Those plodding trail rides are generally safe, but releases must be signed for a reason--sometimes things happen.

And if you consider a 9 and 11-year-old too young to handle a horse... You will find many on here who vehemently disagree.

Like I said before, try riding again! In fact, I dare you! It will build character and accomplish far more than trying to convince a bunch of horse lovers that horses suck.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Too much unknown.

Had you ever been on horses before? Were there trail guides present? It sounds like the blame should be on the facility. Giving your dad the benefit of the doubt, he probably acted like a jerk out of fear for you.

Yes it was scary but I don't understand the point you're trying to make. You're now scared of horses. Okay. Lots of people are. They choose to address it or not. There's definitely some other issues going on with your dad.

My first horseback riding experience had very bad instructions: kick to go forward, kick twice to trot, kick real hard to canter, turn left for left, right for right, pull back hard to stop. Hold the horn, wrap the reins around your hand.

Too much wrong in those instructions to go there in this post! I was around 10.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mckellar (Apr 18, 2012)

Is this a real post.... Sorry, that's the first thing that comes to mind


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## Silent one (Aug 22, 2011)

I'm sorry OP, I fail to see what they point of this post is? Do you just want to vent about your dad? Are you starting to feel you might be interested in horses but scared and resentful because of your experience? Are you trying to convince a horse forum, full of people who live for their horses, that horses are bad for you? Please give us some insight into your motives and maybe we can be more helpful.


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## jumanji321 (Dec 1, 2010)

toonces302 said:


> Does the name Christopher Reeve ring a bell?


Christopher Reeve was a very experienced horse rider when he had his accident. He was jumping and his horse refused causing him to fall and become paralyzed from the neck down. That has nothing to do with you situation as he was experienced and you weren't. His accident is no where near the same as yours since he was in control of his horse and also knew his horse very well. For whatever reason, the horse decided it either couldn't take the jump or he was disobedient. You were not in control of your horse and you were also unfamiliar with it. That is the fault of the facility and your father should of been angry with them, but if you have really forgiven him, then why post this?


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I am not convinced that you are not a troll, but giving you the benefit of the doubt.... 

First time on a horse as young children, you cannot be expected to be in control. 
As a casual consumer, your dad cannot be expected to be able to evaluate the horses and riding barn either. 

The fault lays with the barn. 

The fact that your dad is still going on about this, seems to show that he has something to prove about how amazing he is, while his children were not. 
The fact that you are still going on about this, shows that you need to get over it.


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## usandpets (Jan 1, 2011)

I will say you are right that your dad should not have blamed or yelled at you and your sister. However, it is not his fault you have a fear of horses. That is from your experience of the ride. The fear is from not being in control of the horse. It's up to you to overcome that fear. 

You say you forgive him but you still blame him. That is not forgiving. 

If you want some examples of first experiences, I'll share mine. I was at camp. They had me get on a horse and decided to play tag. I had no clue how to get the horse to move or turn. No it wasn't fearful but it left a bad distaste for riding horses. I did get past it in time and now many years later, we have 7 horses. I enjoy all the time I spend with them even if it's just doing the chores with having them. 

We've had many children put on our horses. Many of them are scared to get on. We help push them past their fear and then it's almost impossible to get them off. That's what you need to do if you want to ride. Push yourself past your fear. If you don't want to ride ever again, let it go and go on with your life. Quit living in the past. 

Only you can conquer your fear. Yes others can help, but it's up to you. Take some lessons with a trainer but explain to them about your fear. If you have friends or know someone that has a horse, ask if you can spend time with them around their horse. That will also help you learn how to handle the horse some. Don't be afraid to ask questions. 

Horses are magnificent creatures. Don't let one bad experience keep you from enjoying them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## makin tracks (Jan 25, 2009)

AS you say, it was a bad start and I can see how that completely shattered your confidence. 

It sounds like that ranch might not have been the best choice but it's happened and it can't change.

Having said that, horses have their own mind and are not perfect just like us, and less than desirable things happen even with a horse you know well.

If you are looking for advice on how to overcome your fear, then you have to just DO it. As with anything, the only way to overcome fear is to face it.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Blaming someone for your phobia... I don't see how that makes sense as you are the master of your interpretations, and therefore your fears and likes.

No one can force you to think or feel a certain way about something, unless you let them.

Your dad was a little... colourful IMOP about saying the kids (you and your sis) needed to step it up but maybe you were being too soft. I used to teach beginners and if they were too soft and silly then I would tell them to step it up too. Horses are too dangerous to be lackadaisical with. The only ones that can handle beginners or softies are the more laid back been-there-and-I'm-bomb-proof equines. That center apparently didn't have those on hand at the time... 

Some people also think that a horse is a horse.. which isn't true. They're individuals.

Christopher Reeves was a professional and very unlucky. You cannot go through life afraid or paranoid or you will miss out on so much and be extremely sheltered. No one chooses their downfalls. No one chooses to be paralyzed for life or mugged in the street. It just happens.

Horses and horse riding are both dangerous. You take risks. If you don't want to, that's your problem.


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## Saranda (Apr 14, 2011)

You've had years and years of chances to fight your phobia and get over your past, yet you chose not to. How is your father, horses or the ranch to blame? The past is not real anymore, only this moment is, and it is what we choose it to be like. Your choices now, and nothing more.


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## DimSum (Mar 28, 2012)

toonces302 said:


> You're right, Katbalu. I've already forgiven him. But the point is, I had no idea how to control the horse.


No, you haven't that much is very clear from the tenor of your posts. Like others, I don't understand what the point of your post was. Laying blame at this stage of the game is simply not productive, nor is it healthy. The bad past experience is just that-the bad past. It's only alive if you keep feeding it little bits of your soul everyday.

Are you now wanting to work on your phobia? If so, there are many ways to work through these things but posting on an internet board whining about your issues and flailing about laying blame isn't one of them. I suggest you look around this board and read the many threads written by people who have overcome fear and how much their lives were enriched by that experience if indeed you are wanting something other than trolling or attention seeking.

Conversely, if you aren't interested in loosing your fear, why are you posting on a horse board at all? If you don't want to be around horses or work on your fear because of your bad experience (which I tend to think has been dramatically embellished just a bit) I doubt there will be many times in your life that horse back riding will be a requirement so just get on with your life.


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

First of all, you were young and scared and I'm guessing you are remembering it with more "terror" than actually occurred. I worked at a horseback riding stable and the horses learn to take "shortcuts" particularly with kids. We had one horse that would cut a corner and take a shortcut through the woods with just about every rider (we finally put in a fence there so he couldn't do it). The rider was never in any true danger... but I imagine it would be scary for a new rider if your horse goes one way and everybody else's goes another.

Secondly, in your first post the horses were 600 lbs and now they're 1200 lbs... I'm guessing it's like a fish story: they grow with the tellin.' :lol:

ONE bad experience with a horse isn't enough to give you and your sister "Equinophobia." A true "phobia" is an irrational fear of something and is often not triggered by any particular event. Just because you're scared or nervous about something doesn't mean it's a "phobia." 

The first time I ever rode a horse it was on a trail ride and my horse pretty much did whatever he wanted. I thought it was GLORIOUS because I got to trot when we were catching up with the rest of the group. My mom's horse took her between two skinny trees. We later discovered that one of our friends had ridden the same horse and she did the same thing. These horses plod the same trail day after day and they start developing habits.

My second ride was at a teacher's house (she had invited me over to ride). This WASN'T an old broke trail horse. Something spooked her when we were riding in the field and she took off. I ended up flying out of the saddle. Didn't deter my love for horses one bit.

Ask anyone on this forum and they can tell you loads of stories about falling off horses, etc. and most of us just get up, dust ourselves off, and get back on. ONE hiccup where a horse doesn't go where you tell them to isn't going to give you a phobia.


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## vergo97 (Dec 23, 2010)

I think people saying that they had fallen off, been walked over, etc before they were 11 are in a different situation, as they had been used to horses and it probably wasn't the very first time they had ridden. I think it would make anyone nervous to be at their first lesson and feel like they have no control over what is going on. Also the OP might never have had an opportunity to be with horses again since that day, and if you've had a bad experience and then no chance to have another go and see that you can actually do it then your fear might get worse.

I think it was wrong of your dad to blame you for what happened, I know if my mum was to blame me for everything that goes wrong in my lessons and give no encouragement then I would be upset. 

Maybe you should try a riding lesson and explain that you are a bit nervous and then they'd be able to help.


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

I would place blame on the riding facility. They shouldn't have put kids on barn sour horses. That was irresponsible & negligent. Unfortunately though that is a fairly common story. It took me almost 10 years to get my husband on a horse because his first (and only experience prior to meeting me) with horses was very similar to yours. 

Was it wrong of your dad to place blame on you & your sister, yes. BUT, the past is the past, if you want to conquer the fear it is up to you now. Holding a grudge over something that happened long ago won't help you overcome that. My hubby's first experience left him a bit jaded and of the opinion that horses were big, stupid animals that had intent to hurt him. It took him meeting mine and spending time with them to realize that there is a huge difference in a well trained, beginner tolerant horse than the typical (at least in my area) follow the butt in front of it trail riding outfit type of horses. He now has his own horse that he trail rides and he has also taken over the halter breaking and handling of all of the foals born here. 

If you want to get past the fear, forgive your dad, find a reputable lesson barn with dependable stock and work with a trainer that can help you overcome your fear. Once you get past it, you might just find that horses are pretty amazing.


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

vergo97 said:


> I think people saying that they had fallen off, been walked over, etc before they were 11 are in a different situation, as they had been used to horses and it probably wasn't the very first time they had ridden.


The OP didn't fall off or get walked over, the trail horse simply "ran back to the start" which in my mind is just a barn sour horse trotting back to his buddies.

I fell off the second time I ever rode. We didn't own horses and I didn't have regular contact with them. My parents did eventually let me buy a pony... but that was awhile after my fall.


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## MisssMarie (Jan 31, 2012)

Subbing to see how this plays out
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

Im starting to get the feeling that this whole thing is just to get a reaction out of people. 

if your scared of horses either stop thinking about them or face your fear and take a lesson. 
dont get on a horse forum, and talk about an argument that you a. apparently already forgave him for, and then b. try to bring it up again, change facts, and then bring up random other accidents like Chris Reeves....it doesnt pertain to the situation at all.


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## WIRider (Jul 26, 2012)

The first time my dad put me on a bicycle I went down a hill, faster than either of intended and eventually fell off on a gravel road. Was it my dad's fault for putting me on the bike even though I didn't know how to ride it? 

My first experience with falling off a horse was when I was 6, was put on a horse that my dad bought for me and my sister. I had never ridden alone before in my life. after about 45 seconds, that horse took off and ran 1/2 mile in a corn field before I fell off. That's right, I fell off, it hurt, and it scared me. My dad owned the horse, and put me on it, but I didn't fault him for it. It was an accident, it happens. Luckily, i decided to get back in the saddle and have the horse led back to the barn with me in the saddle, or else I might have a fear of horses like you do.


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## ilovepie32 (Apr 26, 2012)

I would give anything for my dad to get on a horse and go riding with me. But I know that if he'd have been there and it were me, he would have made me get back on and ride. 

Your dad loves you and your sister enough that he took you guys out to ride. 

You're right, you should have been shown how to control the horse, BUT anything can happen to anyone on a horse. People are in freak accidents all of the time on horses they trust and love. It is because a horse has a mind of its own. Even us who own horses have experienced our horse act up or spook. It's not something that your dad could have foreseen. So lighten up on him. 

Also, if you are so affected by this phobia, you should go conquer your fear. Get back on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

We're also only hearing the OP's side of the story which I presume was designed to be as dramatic as possible, for some reason. I wonder what story his father and sister would tell, or if theirs would resemble his in any way, shape or form?

I'm not sure what the OP wanted by coming to a *horse board* and freaking out at the members because they didn't pat his head and stroke his ego about the horrible, awful, life altering trauma that supposedly occurred, and didn't agree with him that horses are evil, dangerous monsters whose only goal in life is to maim and kill humans. God forbid he ever encounter something_ really_ traumatic if he's going to have his understanding of order and safety in the universe shattered over a horse ZOMG! RUNNING BACK TO THE STABLE WITH HIM!!!!


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## trailhorserider (Oct 13, 2009)

All of my first riding experiences were at a rental stable similar to the OP's. Except I never had a horse run (or more likely trot) back with me. Yes, they really give you no instruction. They stick you on a horse and show you left, right, and whoa with the reins. That's pretty well it. The horses are pretty well on auto-pilot following nose-to-tail on a trail they take multiple times a day. I always had a great time. And I can see how the horses must get so tired of clueless riders day-after-day. 

BUT, I do agree with your Dad that the problem was you didn't take control of the horse. Maybe I just have cruddy horses (naw, they are wonderful!) but if I let ANY HORSE I have ever owned run home with me they would. They may start out at a walk, then a trot, then a canter, but if I never touched the reins they would just keep kicking it up in the gears until they ran home. It's a very natural thing for a horse to do. That's why people work so hard on preventing barn sourness. Like not running the horse towards home at all, or at least not regularly. Because it is very easy for the horse to get into the "gotta get home fast" mode. 

We can talk all day about weather or not a child with no experience should be expected to take control of a 1200 lb animal. But setting that aside, I agree with your Dad, the horse ran home because you let him. And likely your sister's horse ran home because you let your horse run home. Horses don't like being left behind. 

So yeah, the horses weren't on their best behavior, but it was the lack of rider skill that allowed it to happen. How to fix that at a rental stable? I don't know. If you emphasize stopping you will probably get a lot of scared newbies with a death grip on the reins. :-(

PS. Thinking more about this subject, I am sure this is why the horses are only allowed to go nose-to-tail with a guide in front of them. I don't know if the OP's stable was like this, but the stables I rode at when I was growing up, that was the only way you were allowed to go out. With a guide, nose-to-tail. You weren't allowed to ride side-by-side or lead the ride. I'm sure that was to keep all the horses following in line and not get competitive or barn sour. 

You know, horses are sort of like a classroom of kids. You can't expect them to be perfectly behaved all the time if they know they can get away with something. You at least have to act like you are in control even if you really don't have a clue. It's like a substitute teacher that lets the class run amok. Horses like a calm assertive leader. If you aren't the leader, then they will make the decisions.


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## toonces302 (Aug 27, 2012)

*Thank you!!*

I've made the decision to give it another try and have already scheduled riding lessons for me and my two nephews. THANK YOU each and every one who shared their opinions and I will let you know how it goes.

Thanks, and GOD BLESS each and every one of you


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

trailhorserider said:


> PS. Thinking more about this subject, I am sure this is why the horses are only allowed to go nose-to-tail with a guide in front of them. I don't know if the OP's stable was like this, but the stables I rode at when I was growing up, that was the only way you were allowed to go out. With a guide, nose-to-tail. You weren't allowed to ride side-by-side or lead the ride. I'm sure that was to keep all the horses following in line and not get competitive or barn sour.


I went to a riding stable in Wisconsin Dells where they pretty much let you do whatever the heck you wanted. 

First, the guide asked everyone for their riding experience and when he found out mine, he gave a sort of evil grin and said, "Oh I know which horse to put you on, then!!" 

We got on our horses (we weren't allowed to mount regularly, had to climb on this GIANT platform and step down onto your horse) and then we were put in a sort of "holding yard" where tons of horses -- both saddled and unsaddled, with riders and without -- were all grouped together. I was just WAITING for something terrible to happen, but it didn't. 

They opened the gate and the horses with riders automatically headed for the exit, and the horses without riders simply stayed where they were. They obviously knew the routine. 

As we were leaving the gate the guide yelled back to me to watch my horse, as he'd been known to lay down and try to roll on guests. Wonderful.

The trail was super wide and well groomed, and my horse didn't blindly follow the others. He was actually FANTASTIC and I wanted to take him home with me. Went wherever I directed him, did whatever I asked. My friend had an old plodder so I frequently turned around on the trail and went back to where she was. They had this "wild west" theme and these big board cutouts of gunfighters would suddenly pop up and gunshots would sound. The first time it happened I almost soiled myself but my horse didn't mind in the least (again, I'm sure he was used to it). All in all it was a really fun ride... maybe because they actually believed my experience (maybe they were convinced because I was wearing riding clothes rather than the usual shorts and flip flops) and gave me a horse that had a mind of his own.


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## Celeste (Jul 3, 2011)

My first riding experience was when I was seven years old. My best friend's dad took the two of us to a stable to ride some ponies. They didn't want to leave the barn. We would switch, kick, beg, and plead until they would go about 100 yards away from the barn. Then they would trot rapidly back to the barn. I thought that it was the most glorious experience of my life.

If you go into riding, be aware that this is a dangerous sport. We get bucked off. We fall. We get kicked, bitten, slobbered on, and knocked over. I am 54 years old and I took a pretty hard fall recently. I dusted myself off, got back up and rode. I don't want die sitting in a rocking chair, knitting. I know that there is a big risk. And *I love riding.*

By the way, being a parent is not that easy. When I taught my son to drive, I stayed in panic mode. I screamed when he approached red lights. I was totally sure he would wreck and kill us all. He didn't. He also is not mad at me for being hysterical while he was learning to drive.


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## emeraldstar642 (Jul 16, 2011)

The first time I rode I almost got trampled. And I wasn't even on the horse yet. I was out in the paddock with my instructor to get my pony and a temperamental stallion kept following me around. My instructor just told me to ignore him. He wasn't too pleased about that. He reared up, knocking me in the back with his knees as he came up, and I fell to the ground. I rolled out just in time or he would have landed on me.

And guess what? I still got on. I had a fantastic ride. I was probably less freaked out than I should have been, but then again I've never been too scared of horses. All the same I got on and had a great ride. The second time I rode the horse took off cantering with me. I could hardly steer my horse in a circle and he was cantering at what I presumed to be the speed of light. I was 10. But I didn't get freaked out and refuse to get back on. Instead, my mindset afterward became '_okay, so I don't know how to do this. Better learn how, then!'_ After all, regardless of what you'd like to believe the rider still is the one who controls the horse.

My point is that things happen. Riding horses is a dangerous sport. Horses do have a mind of their own. They sometimes take off, they buck, they kick, they refuse, they spook. If you ride you're going to bite the dust sometimes and you're going to have to learn how to deal with all types of horses. The place you rode at probably wasn't too professional but why let that ruin it for you? And why blame your dad? He's right, you do have to control the horse.

Good for you for deciding to take lessons. But remember, (and this is VERY important to remember) horses are not robots. When you get on, you accept the risks. That's how it works. And yes, you _are_ expected to learn how to control a 1200 lb animal. You may not be perfect at riding at first, but if you're willing to learn that's what matters. It's a package deal. Don't expect to get on a horse that can read your mind and do everything you want him to.


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## gentlydownthestream (Sep 16, 2012)

I am a newbie, I gravitated to this topic because I felt sorry for the OP. I think it was a frightening first ride and the Dad made it worse by blaming the bad experience on the children. Of course it was not the fault of the children. If you don't know horses or what to expect, how can you be expected to control them? Many adults would have no idea how to control that situation. Maybe all the OP needed from the Dad was a hug and some reassurance and encouragement instead of added humiliation. I don't blame the OP for blowing up at the Dad years later.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I can sympathize with the OP. I never ever spoke back to my father or defended myself over unwarranted comments until I was an adult. Both of my parents were university educated so whenever I had trouble learning something I'd turn to one of them, only to be dismissed, that I was smart and that I could do it. Except it didn't always happen and my marks weren't up to what they thought I was capable of. Also I was badly in need of corrective lenses both for reading and distance. These were denied me for several years. As my eyesight changed my ability to study diminished as the page was continually going in and out of focus. Fast forward. I am now an adult about 30 yrs old. We were visiting my father's sister, a soft spoken kindly lady. Her kids (my cousins) were all medical professionals. Suddenly my father spoke up and told my aunt that I always had horses on the brain. That's when I lost it and told him how wrong he was, that I had struggled in school and was denied help time and again. You could have heard a pin drop. The look on his face was utter shock. I don't think so much that I'd defended myself but that he'd failed me.


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## Celeste (Jul 3, 2011)

My parents did a lot of things wrong. They also did a lot of things right. I wonder how much stuff my kids think I did wrong? A lot I am sure.


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## Critter sitter (Jun 2, 2012)

Mckellar said:


> Is this a real post.... Sorry, that's the first thing that comes to mind


i was thinking troll possibly


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## DimSum (Mar 28, 2012)

Critter sitter said:


> i was thinking troll possibly


Considering the OP hasn't logged in since 08/29 :lol: I'd say you were correct.


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