# Do other equestrians feel this much anxiety?



## kennaphoenix (Nov 21, 2014)

I have owned my gelding for a little over two years now, and I leased him for a year and a half before hand. I love him to death and we have a really close bond, but I have noticed (especially lately, the last six months or so, but especially the last couple months) that I have a ton of anxiety surrounding him. I am _constantly_ worried about him, for one reason or another. If he didn't go to the bathroom as many times as he usually does when we ride, I worry. If he has even a touch of diarrhea, I worry. If he hasn't drank any water out of his bucket even if he has been in his stall for no more than an hour, I worry. If he paws or seems to want to roll, I worry. If he seems tired or lazy (even though he is a naturally lazy horse), I worry. I can spend ten minutes or so watching him trot around me obsessing over whether he is lame or not, trying to analyze every little detail. I spend a long time feeling his legs for heat or swelling, just smoothing my hands over them over and over. It's gotten to the point where it inhibits my enjoyment of being around him, and I almost always find something to worry about each night when I go home. Then I spend all night, and all of the next day, obsessing over the smallest things. Like, whether he coughed once while we were riding. Or if he seemed more tired than usual even if I'm pretty sure it's because he got ridden more than usual lately. Everything is catastrophic in my head. Yes, I went to a therapist a few years ago for anxiety related issues and I was diagnosed with OCD, so I am pretty sure this obsessive worry has something to do with this. But I just wanted to know, do you think this kind of worrying is normal/justified, or do you think it is my anxiety disorder manifesting towards my horse as he is something I care about greatly? Also, has anyone else experienced anxiety or obsessive compulsions surrounding their horse? Any feedback, opinions, or stories would be greatly appreciated!


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## Reiningcatsanddogs (Oct 9, 2014)

No, personally, I don’t worry over every little thing. Between all the animals and kids I would be a nervous wreck if I did. 

Like you mentioned it is probably your OCD kicking in so whatever exercises your therapist has recommended start using them in this case.

Balance in all things. Stay well.


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## jimmyp (Sep 5, 2013)

With almost 60head of critters on the place I wouldn't get anything done if I worried about all of them.

We tend to have fairly healthy horses, so its uncommon when something is wrong, The dogs, and cows are the same way, the only animals I worry about most of the time are the sheep, and only because they sometime seem to be looking for new interesting ways to die......

Have you been around someone who has been having health issues with a horse? Maybe some incident that cost a significant amount of money? i find that when someone I know has an Issue with one of their critters I become conscious of those symptoms in my horse even if it has never been an issue. 

I also know some people, who NEED something to be wrong in their life, some.... I don't know..... Diversion so to speak from reality, or something to take their mind off of more pressing issues....

You obviously are aware that there is nothing wrong with your horse and you know that the anxiety, is more you than it is the horse. I would say like Reiningcatsanddogs, its time to visit any exercises your therapist suggested.

Jim


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## mslady254 (May 21, 2013)

kennaphoenix said:


> . But I just wanted to know, do you think this kind of worrying is normal/justified, or do you think it is my anxiety disorder manifesting towards my horse as he is something I care about greatly? Also, has anyone else experienced anxiety or obsessive compulsions surrounding their horse? Any feedback, opinions, or stories would be greatly appreciated!


The things you worry about are certainly things we need to watch and be aware of. But the degree (constantly worrying, worrying all night even if you really think it was ok) of your worry , imho, are most likely what you suspect....your anxiety disorder manifesting itself towards your horse. 
Maybe discuss it with your therapist? or , if it's been a while since you've had a session with him/her, perhaps it would be a good idea to make an appointment to get some help with this. Especially since it is greatly effecting your ability to enjoy your horse time.

Take care, and keep us updated on your progress. 
Fay


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

Yes. With Pistol being my first horse, for the first several years - I worried over everything from rainstorms, to heatwaves, to bug bites to bumps and bruises or not eating as fast as he should or why did he just give me a perfect ride? Is he sick... etc... Yes. Perfectly normal.

Now that I have multiple horses I worry less but with Pistol... Now that he is 30 instead of 3... The constant worrying is back... but since he's at my house. It's less. I will still admit to occassionaly getting out of bed at 2 AM to check on this horse or that horse though... 

And I worry about my kid 24/7 too... And sometimes... I even worry about the husband!


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

^^^^^I worry about you Farmpony!


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## shaggy (Dec 8, 2010)

Sounds just like me. I worry over everything with my horses. I was left on my own very inexperienced when my trainer up and moved to NY a couple years ago. I didn't my much riding or care experience then and being left alone has lead to anxiety now. I constantly worry about the exact same things you listed every single one of them to a tee. It doesn't help that I have no one with experience around that come check my horse and say oh that's normal. Just like you the anxiety starts to take away the enjoyment of my horses. It's gotten so bad at points I've been afraid to go the barn afraid something will be wrong with them. (I think this was triggered by going through bad abcesses with both geldings and finding one them laying flat on ground! Scariest afternoon of my life. Luckily he had just laid down cause of the pain in his hoof and is 100% fine now!) Some times I don't physically relax until I've walked up and touched each of my horses. But even tho I have all this anxiety built up the moment I spend hour grooming or just getting on riding around the paddock it goes away. Horses may give a fair share anxiety and stress but they pull their weight in taking it away too!


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## Tg64 (Feb 23, 2015)

Sometimes the worrying about other things is really a reflection of something deeper going on inside. Have you ever tried meditation, deep breathing or yoga? It might help.


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## SueC (Feb 22, 2014)

Here's a joke about a person who used to worry about stuff all the time. One day, amazingly, a friend of his noticed he was actually calm! So he asked, "How come you're so relaxed?" 

And his friend said, "I have employed someone fulltime to do my worrying for me." 

"Oh? How much do you pay someone for that?"

"$100 per hour."

"But you don't even make that much per hour. How will you pay him?"

"I'll let _him_ worry about that!"


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## Cindyg (Jan 12, 2009)

I take an obsessive interest in every detail of my horse's life, but in a fun way, not in an anxious way. 

I love watching him eat. I love analyzing his nutrients. I love contemplating his pasture. I love training meticulously. I love combing out his tail. I love managing his weight. Goodness, I have obsessed for weeks (months) over stirrups, bits, halters, his feeder, his girth, his saddle pad. Ha ha ha. But all in the a joyful way. It's my hobby. I love thinking about it. 

And, oh my goodness, I take pictures and videos and spend forever analyzing them. 

I opened this thread because I assumed it was going to be anxiety about riding, which I do have, and I think is very common.

But what you're describing, in my humble opinion, sounds like something you might want to talk to your therapist about.


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## TXhorseman (May 29, 2014)

An old man was asked what had caused him the most problems and worry in his life. He replied: "The things that never happened."

Bad things will happen in our lives. That is a given. But obsessively worrying bout what might happen is seldom helpful and may actually cause more problems. 

We must learn to be aware without worry. We must learn to not be reckless without becoming obsessively cautious. 

This is more difficult for some to do than for others. We must remind ourselves that every sniffle is not a sign of the flu. There are many other causes for a sniffle, most of them innocuous. 

If I go to my doctor for a checkup, he will usually find some symptom that could indicate a problem. He will point out, however, that I don't have any of the other symptoms which must also be present.


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## Woodhaven (Jan 21, 2014)

"Worry is the greatest natural waste of time known to humankind. If a problem can be solved by taking action, then there is no need to worry. If a problem cannot be solved, then all the worry in the world will not help. Perhaps you know this from your own life, your own experiences. Think back to the things that have worried you in the past. Did the worry help? No. Did you take action and solve the problem? Good. Did you find the problem hopelessly unsolvable? That's too bad, but your worrying did not accomplish anything."
I once read this and copied it down because I thought it made a lot of sense. If I get anxious or worried about something, I read this and it seems to help me. I know it's hard not to worry sometimes but this helps me keep it in perspective. 
I hope you are able to deal with your worrying and conquer it.


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## mslady254 (May 21, 2013)

Good quote, Woodhaven, and made me remember The Serenity Prayer:

O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed,
The courage to change what can be changed,
and the wisdom to know the one from the other

Sometimes it's hard for us to differentiate between planning an action and simple worry. When I realize that my thoughts are on a replaying loop is when I know for sure it's useless worry Vs helpful strategy.

Fay


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## Woodhaven (Jan 21, 2014)

MS I really like your words " useless worry VS helpful strategy"
Something to keep in mind.


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## ponyroll (Feb 15, 2015)

@Kennaphoenix - I worry about my horse in a similar manner as you do. The main worry manifested 2 years ago when my horse got a torn meniscus. Prior to this incident I had obsessed over minor things such as colic and trailering accidents (like the floor collapsing or the door being left open). After the incident, however, my stress and worry of my horse increased. The initial process of almost losing him as a ridable horse started the initial panic. I, however, have been diagnosed with OCD as well.

Small worries over your horse is normal behavior for all owners. Horses are investments, friends, and part of the family. But, obsessively worrying about your horse's well-being can probably be contributed to your OCD. This statement, "I spend a long time feeling his legs for heat or swelling, just smoothing my hands over them over and over" seems to be OCD related. I have trouble double checking the trailer door over and over again. Checking that the trailer is secure and horses are in once is normal behavior, but checking it more than 2 can be considered obsessive behavior. My counselor has said I am good at distinguishing OCD thoughts from regular normal thoughts, but even though I can distinguish these thoughts does not necessarily mean that I can stop them. You can lessen some of the thoughts with various exercises (this does not work for everyone). You can find some good information online or through counseling; it is worth a try.


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## star16 (Aug 10, 2012)

(I know this is an old thread, but I had to respond!) 

I feel exactly the same as the original poster. How does everyone else just take a deep breath and be ok? My first horse died because I listened to the wrong vet, and that seems to have really overshadowed everything with my mares now.


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## thisiswater (Mar 17, 2016)

Hi everyone -- As I psychotherapist I want to jump in and advocate for medication. There is no reason to suffer from the miserable body feelings of anxiety in the 21st Century! Of all the patients I've treated for anxiety, those who use meds and talk therapy do *so* much better than those who do one or the other. It's important to remember that these meds are restorative, not suppressive. Here's to feeling and being better!


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## BlueSpark (Feb 22, 2012)

No, I do not. I'm a high anxiety person, and going down that road, allowing your anxiety to make a huge impact on your life, is not healthy or normal. I'm sure there are many ways a therapist could recommend, but for me I make a point of forcing myself to let go, and put something possitive in its place. 

For example, if I find my anxiety kicking in, worrying needlessly about things I can't fix or shouldn't be worried about, I mentally stop myself and choose to do something positive, like go for a run, paint a picture, read a fascinating book. 

It takes a long time, but it does work.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

I think when you worry to the point you're not enjoying an activity (any activity) it's time to get assistance with what's going on in your life that's triggering the anxiety. Horses should be fun and companionship, when something triggers an excessive amount of anxiety and you no longer enjoy spending time with them, or riding or...whatever, then it's time to get help and bring the joy back.


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