# The rainbow bridge has my heart horse...



## riccil0ve

Oh dear god, I didn't realize you saw it happen. I am so sorry sweetie, I can't begin to understand your pain, but I'm sending all the "ease pain" vibes I can. Try to rest easy knowing he's got buddies to romp with, and that you did everything and more for each and every one of them. You are a prime example of an excellent horse owner, if every owner worked half as hard as you, we'd have much better off horses. So many hugs, darling.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Solon

I am so very sorry for your loss. Me and my boy are sending you love and hugs.


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## tinyliny

So sorry , dear lady. He was perfectly gorgeous, and your love so evident in that photo.


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## HowClever

Thank you.


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## alexis rose

I am so sorry for your loss. ((Hugs))


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## Jake and Dai

HC I am so sorry for your loss. Rex is so beautiful and that picture is so lovely. Please accept my condolences and a virtual *hug*. RIP Rex you beautiful boy!


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## Maple

I'm so sorry! Thinking of you


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## Clayton Taffy

I am so so so sorry that you are going through this, My heart breaks for you.
I know what you are going through.


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## Cacowgirl

So sorry to hear of this. My deepest condolences.


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## Clayton Taffy

He was beautiful.


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## Jore

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your loss. Even though I only had my girl for two and a half months, I felt like my heart was ripped out from me so I cannot imagine how you must feel.

Perhaps your handsome boy and Indie met up at the rainbow bridge, with all the others.


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## waresbear

Condolences, very sad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EvilHorseOfDoom

Oh gosh that is heartbreaking! I'm so sorry, RIP Rex :-(
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nvr2many

I am so very sorry for your loss. Life just does not seem fair sometimes. My heart goes out to you in this terrible time.


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## Speed Racer

My deepest condolences, HC. It's hard to lose any of them, but the loss of a heart animal will rip your very soul into shreds.

Godspeed, Rex. May you run free and out of pain.


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## AlexS

How absolutely heartbreaking. I am so very sorry for your loss HC. 

Rest well Rex.


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## HowClever

It is the what ifs that are tearing me apart at the moment. The little things that I could have done that could have prevented it. 

I'm just so tempted to pack it all in. I've got DH feeding and checking the horses at the moment as I just can't bring myself to go out there. I'm just wondering whether it is really worth this pain.


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## nvr2many

Accidents happen so fast, that is why they call them accidents. We didn't intend for them to happen and not much you could have done to change it. I am so sorry for your loss but please try to think of everyone that needs you. Other animals, family, they need you! Try to make yourself do at least something, no matter how small, you will feel better. Again, I am very sorry for your loss! Take it easy for awhile, life is good!


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## HowClever

Taking advantage of a numb moment to try and write some things down before it hurts too much to think about him again. It might help, it might not, but it can't hurt more.

Heart horse just doesn't seem like enough to describe Rex. It doesn't embody the joy he gave me and it certainly doesn't embody the agony I'm feeling now that he's gone. Even when that beautiful old boy was jig jogging, snorting and carrying on he was perfect. 

The very first day I met him, he was in the last stall at the end of the aisle. I walked down, chatting with his then owner about him and just before we reached the door he stuck his head out. I had gone to see him partly for me, but also partly to be a lesson horse for a riding school I was working for. As soon as I saw his beautiful face I knew we were buying him. He was brought out of the stall and I looked him over for any faults. Maybe there were some there, but I didn't see any. He was put in the roundyard and lunged so I could see how he moved. He kicked up his heels and threw his head when he was asked to canter. That only made me like him more.

When he came home, it was as a school horse, but he was "my" horse. My first rides on him were bareback in a halter and lead. He was wonderful. Eventually we went out on the trails. He was jiggy and always did a mini bolt whenever we had to go under a low hanging branch. He was still perfect. He always knew when he had a beginner on his back and he took care of them. Sometimes he was unbelievably lazy and at other times he was full of attitude. 

On the morning of my 21st birthday I was taken out to the property. It had rained the night before and Rexy was filthy. So filthy that it wasn't until I got close to him that I noticed the ribbon tied around his neck. He was my birthday present. Although he had been "mine" all along, he was now actually MINE. 

In the 3 years since then we haven't logged a lot of saddle time. First it was greasy heel, then he collapsed, then he went lame and was diagnosed with bad arthritis and was semi-retired. I was contemplating getting on him and going for a bit of a plod when he put himself through the fence last month, so once again I postponed it. 

While he wasn't ridden a whole lot in the time I had him, I spent countless hours with him. Whether it be just chilling in his paddock, grooming him, doctoring injuries, crying in to his neck or most recently, painting him like a zebra just for a laugh, Rexy was always my go to boy. When I just needed some down time, he was always happy to hang out and occasionally nuzzle me for treats. 

Today I worked up the guts to go outside for the first time since the accident. On the way out there were so many reminders of him. The new bandages I had bought for his wound, sitting unused on the table, the tub of bute paste in the fridge, his specially fitted, but never used on him saddle sitting in the corner, his spare halter hanging in the shed. The hardest thing to see was the broken gate and fence and his uneaten dinner laying just inside it. 

I went to where he is buried and I stood and I sobbed and I apologised. I apologised for the times I swore at him, for the times I confused him, for the times I forgot to truly appreciate how amazing of a horse he was and how fortunate I was to have him as a part of my life. He made me better in so many ways. I hope that in time I will be able to go to that spot and thank him for that. 

I'm not ready to get back involved with the other horses. I'm not sure how long it will take before I am. I only hope that when the time comes Rex will help me to be better for them too. 

I can feel the lump in my throat returning now, so I'll stop. Treasure every single moment with your horses and if you are lucky enough to have that one horse who is perfect even at their worst, appreciate how truly amazing that is. I don't think everybody gets to experience that.


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## riccil0ve

That was beautiful, HC, I choked up and got more than one tear in my eye reading. So many hugs, love.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nvr2many

Thank you for that. Beautiful words that brought tears down my face. Again I am very sorry that you lost Rex. What a wonderful boy!


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## WickedNag

I am so very sorry for your loss... my heart breaks for you. RIP Rex you were a gorgeous boy!


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## Customcanines

I am so very, very sorry. I can't even begin to imagine how horrible it must have been. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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## HorseLovinLady

I'm sorry for your loss, :-( he was a good lookin boy.


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## HowClever

Just remembering back to before we even purchased Rexy. I remember when I was looking through ads I was particularly interested in clydie x's, not greys, not thoroughbreds. 

I remember scrolling through the classifieds site having done a search for horses 16-17hh, scrolling past countless horses that didn't fit my criteria. Then saw Rex's ad. Here's this big grey, thoroughbred, exactly what I wasn't looking for, but something made me click it. I read it, closed it, opened it again, re-read it and took down the number. 

I called later that day and spoke to his then owner. She told me that unfortunately, she had somebody coming to see him the next day who had said they were bringing a float so there was a good possibility he was already sold. She said she would give me a call if for some reason it fell through. I hadn't even met him yet and I was pretty devastated. 

The next day I missed a call. K left a message saying the other people had not showed up. Rexy was still there and if I was still interested to give her a call back. I called her back as soon as I'd heard the end of the message and arranged to go meet him. The rest as I said in my last post is history. 

There was something about that horse, somehow he was meant to be a part of my life. 

The hurt hasn't lessened yet, but I am starting to be able to function again. I wish people could understand though that Rex wasn't JUST a horse. No horse is ever JUST a horse, but Rex...there just aren't good enough words for him. I spent christmas day with DH's family and had several people say things like "lost another one hey?" and then proceed to tell me not to get upset when the tears came. I know that no harm was intended, they just truly don't understand. It doesn't stop the "callousness" from cutting to the bone though.

I have spent a little time with the other horses both this evening and yesterday evening, hosing them off after the hot days. I feel disconnected from them at the moment. I function on autopilot when I am out with them and because of that I don't trust myself to actually handle them yet. Baby steps I guess.


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## Herdof2

Oh Hc, my heart is just broken for you. Keep coming here and talking and getting support. If you were here in person I know this forum would hug you and hold your hand every step of the way. I'm sure that does very little to ease your pain right now, but know that you're not alone.


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## Cacowgirl

I feel your devastation-that picture you posted here of him is so breathtaking beautiful. He certainly had that noble look, but in other pics a hint of deviltry. I wish you could have had him longer,enjoyed many more miles on him,whatifs really don't help...glad you are starting to get out among the others a bit. Take your time-grief takes however long it takes. A big gentle cyber hug coming your way.


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## Speed Racer

HowClever said:


> I wish people could understand though that Rex wasn't JUST a horse. No horse is ever JUST a horse, but Rex...there just aren't good enough words for him.


_*Just a Horse*_

*From time to time, people tell me, “lighten up, it’s just a horse,” or,”that’s a lot of money for just a horse”.
*

*They don’t understand the distance traveled, the time spent, or the costs involved for “just a horse.”
* 

*Some of my proudest moments have come about with “just a horse.”
* 

*Many hours have passed and my only company was “just a horse,” but I did not once feel slighted.
* 

*Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by “just a horse,” and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of “just a horse” gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.
* 

*If you too, think it’s “just a horse,” then you will probably understand phrases like “just a friend,” “just a sunrise,” or “just a promise.”*

*
“Just a horse” brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.
* 

*“Just a horse” brings out the compassion and patience that make me a better person.
* 

*Because of “just a horse” I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future.
* 

*So for me and folks like me, it’s not “just a horse” but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.
* 

*“Just a horse” brings out what’s good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.
* 

*I hope that someday they can understand that it’s not “just a horse”, but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being “just a woman.” 
*

*So the next time you hear the phrase “just a horse” just smile, because they “just” don’t understand.*


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## WesternRider88

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my horse to colic last month and he was my best friend and I know what you are going through. He was very beautiful.


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## soenjer55

I am so, so sorry. It's one thing to lose your heart horse, but having it happen in front of you... my heart goes out to you, I know how horrible this can be. God bless you and I hope that you heal- these kinds of things never leave you but it does get better.


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