# From re-rider... to rider



## SteadyOn

At some point I'll get into a bit more detailed background on myself, but for now I wanted to take the plunge and get a journal thread started here! I've actually been journalling privately, just to keep track of my progress, but it's weird to just... type into the void. Sharing stories with people and getting the odd bit of feedback sounds lovely!

A bit about myself: I'm currently in my mid-30s, but the horse thing for me started waaaaay back. As a very small child, I used to go on public trail rides once or twice a year with my family. And by "as a small child," I mean I was teeny enough that I would ride double, in front of my dad on the saddle, for the first few years. This graduated to me being big enough for my own horse on the rides, then doing their summer day camp, and eventually wanting more out of the experience than a nose-to-butt public trail ride.

My first lessons were from a place that advertised on local tv. HORSES? Near ME?? LESSONS??? So, I was of course all over having my parents sign me up for THAT. I think I was 10 or 11 at the time. The (very few) good things I'll say about it are that I tried English riding there for the first time and loved it, and that I met two girls who would later be good friends of mine in my teens (and one of whom I'm still in contact with). At some point I'll do an entry about my, er, "adventures" at this place. I'll just say that I didn't even finish out one season there before my dad pulled me out in a rage in the middle of a lesson. (The rage was directed at the instructor, not me, and with good reason.)

At this point, being 11 and having had maybe 3 months of (bad) lessons (and having saved my own chore and birthday money for my entire life up to that point), I was of COURSE ready to start horse shopping. :???: So I started religiously browsing the local classifieds. For whatever reason, I bought a saddle BEFORE buying a horse, and the people who sold me the saddle told me about a "WONDERFUL" horse they knew of, up for sale. Again, more stories about that purchase, but I bought TOO MUCH horse for me. 

After a traumatizing year with him, that I swear I still have PTSD from, I sold him and bought a talented, wonderful, spunky yet bombproof finished Western horse... and proceeded to convert her to English which in hindsight feels like such a waste of her beautiful neck reining training, but I digress. She was a fun, solid partner for a year before developing bad arthritis in one hock, and while we managed it reasonably well and still had great adventures, eventually she went back to her old owners as a pet, as she got worse instead of fusing.

I was pretty depressed after that, and I wasn't sure what was next for me, until a flyer showed up at the vet clinic where I worked. A new lesson place was starting up! I immediately called and booked something, and my first lesson there was better than even any clinic I'd ridden in up to that point. The instructor was young but experienced, and I rode a lovely, experienced, push button A Circuit horse who was better than anything I'd ever ridden. Even though the horse and I had a spectacular wipeout in the mud during my very first lesson, I loved it and came back! I had three seasons of hunter lessons at this place, and they were some of the best times I've ever had riding. I learned so much!

Then... life happened. I finished high school, I started dating, I moved to a big city to attend university... and somehow late teens became early 30s with little to no riding in there at all. Sure, I went on a public trail ride every couple of years with friends, and at one point I took a semi-private lesson with two friends (and then couldn't walk right for over a week because I tried to ride "like I used to")... I would go to the Royal Agricultural Winter Fair every year and my heart would pitter patter at all the horses and I'd imagine myself riding again, but I never acted on it because money and time were always so tight, and I had no vehicle.

Three years ago, though, a business opportunity in a more rural place opened up, and I decided to leave the city and go for it. My partner said to me, "Hey, you could start riding again once we've moved up there!" and I was like "Hmm, yeah, I suppose I could. Yeah, I might do that," but the move was so stressful, and so was the new business, that I didn't act on it for about the first month and a half. He actually pushed me to finally pull the cord on that!

I thought to myself, "I don't want to take lessons or anything. I'm rusty but I'm sure with practice I could just pick it up again. All I want is access to a nice easygoing horse that I can partboard to ride down some quiet roads or trails."

And so I searched around for a partboard and found a new riding facility that was opening up here, and some of the available horses sounded great. Well... they weren't. I wound up "accidentally" taking lessons every week, trying different horses at this same place to see if any were the right fit, and none of them were. They were either so poorly schooled that they wouldn't even go forward, or they were so dead to the leg and whip that even mustering a trot was a workout. When the situation actually worsened, I started losing sleep and decided to get the heck on out of there.

I looked around online for another facility, somewhere with partboards. And I found one that looked nicer, better, actually more affordable, and with a coach with actual accreditation! Woohoo! I called her up to ask about partboarding, told her about my riding history, and she suggested I come out and do a lesson to see if one of her horses might be right for me to partboard.

I did and it was WONDERFUL. The coach was incredibly knowledgeable. It was one of, if not THE, best lessons I'd had up to that point. And the horse... I think a chorus of angels started singing when I put my leg on to move her over AND IT WORKED.

Me, on the other hand... Let's just say it wasn't pretty. Especially not at the canter. There was a lot of... thumping. And bumping. And a big realization of just how fit I WAS NOT, and that fifteen years without regular riding might as well be a life time, and how long this road might be! :eek_color:

Tactfully, neither the coach nor I ever mentioned the independent part board idea again, and I went straight into weekly lessons. ;-) And thus began my journey as... AN ADULT RE-RIDER! :dance-smiley05:

A LOT has changed since that point, of course, but I've been with the same coach and on the same horse ever since, with a few lessons here and there on different horses and/or with different coaches just to shake things up! More stories to come!


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## horseylover1_1

Subbing. I enjoyed your first entry very much! :smile:


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## JoBlueQuarter

Subbing! You have a very nice way of writing!


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## EquineBovine

Tell us more!


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## crazyredchestnut

Love this!


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## SteadyOn

*The Bad Place: a rather rough reintroduction to horsing*

My first lesson back after my 15 year hiatus, in July of 2015, was at the "bad place" that I later left. As my first time in years actually *riding* a horse rather than sitting on one, following the one ahead of it in a public trail string, it was actually pretty decent. I had inquired about partboarding a horse that was billed as calm, quiet, capable, able to jump, trail ride, go English or Western. Basically a calm all-rounder, which sounded great. What I got was a big marshmallow, with the colour and speed to match. Dead to leg, dead to lateral aids (if he ever knew any to begin with), shuffling along with his nose poked out a mile ahead of himself. I will say for him that I got an amazing leg workout that night, but I digress. Highlights include being told to weave him between a set of cones at a walk and trot, and him ignoring all my turning and bending aids and trampling straight over them. I decided to brave some canter, but wisely asked to try it on the lunge. His canter was surprisingly BIG for something half asleep, and I clutched the mane and saddle pad for dear life while making this face  Clearly I had a lot of work ahead of me to get my seat back.

The next week I tried a half blind horse with a club foot who could only be ridden soundly in one direction and on one posting diagonal. Next. Then it was a really capable, nice little horse who actually had been trained both western and English, but who kept throwing BIG fake spooks to test me and try to get out of work. So that was... relaxing. I tried him for a couple of weeks before switching to a large pony who was five and still green, but had a calm brain and was a nice, fun, relatively easy ride, though he was only going walk trot and I wasn't allowed to try cantering him yet as he was known to buck and get sloppy due to his greenness. Unfortunately, over the two months I rode there, he soured VERY quickly from having little kids on him before he was ready, and I was crushed to see his attitude and behaviour deteriorate. It got to a point where he wouldn't even walk nicely along the rail and I had to get after him. If I tried to school him in any other way than to kick and hit him, such as circling him and redirecting him back where I wanted to go, I got yelled at for "letting him win."

A new horse came and I tried him once, liked him, and booked him specifically for my next ride, only to show up and see the girl in the lesson ahead of me was using him and be told that I should just go tack of the pony for my ride. Grrr. There weren't many straws left, but this place was quickly coming down to my last one.

The horses weren't schooled.
The only people riding the horses, ever, were beginner students.
The owner shocked me one day by saying "Oh, I have NO interest in riding the *lesson horses*." She didn't actually try any of the horses she bought or ever get on them to tune them up. That explained... a lot.
She claimed to give "lessons" but had no accreditation, and no CLUE. She would get after me for picking up ANY contact whatsoever on the reins, and claim I was "pulling on his face" or "balancing off the reins." (I can assure you I haven't balanced off the reins in any way since I was maybe 11 and still learning and likely did so accidentally. I will hit the dirt rather than try to hold myself on by the reins if things go sideways.)
She would sit on her butt eating upstairs or chatting with friends when I showed up for a lesson, and be of zero assistance whatsoever even though I never knew what horse I was riding or which tack was being used on whatever horse during a given week.
"Lessons" consisted of bad advice, and her sitting in a corner on a lawnchair playing with her phone for about 40% of the time. (Eventually I gave up on them being "lessons" and paid for "free rides" instead -- which were the same price but I was happier without her input!)
The pony got bad enough that one night he pinned his ears and actually ran at the other horse in the ring while I was on him.

The final straw came one night when I was on the pony, and the owner's dog came BLASTING into the ring out of nowhere, crunching a plastic water bottle in its mouth and terrifying both horses in the ring. The pony I was on shied and spooked, but I sat it, thankfully. The horse the OTHER person in the ring was on took off, ran through the open gate into the barn, nearly taking off the rider's head (fortunately he ducked in time). Accidents happen, I suppose, but I looked over and the owner and her teen barn "volunteer" were LAUGHING THEIR BUTTS OFF.

And I never went back again!


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## SteadyOn

Gonna fast forward form the past up to this morning.

This morning I drove to the barn to feed and turn out and, as we've been hit by over a foot of snow over the weekend, conditions were not... great. To make this far, far, far worse, it's warm this morning and everything is melting fast and becoming THICK and HEAVY. The main roads have been plowed, but when I got to the driveway to the barn, that had NOT been plowed, and I couldn't even make it up the first hill. Well, the barn is actually a mile in from that first hill, so... I tried a couple of times, with no success, and figured I'd have to back down and out the drive and park on the main road and start my fun fun hike in. But my car had other ideas, and slipped off to one side on the slippery hill and I wound up in the ditch.

So I called around, got ahold of the groundskeeper for the property. Waited about 50 minutes for him to come out with a tow rope, and felt very, very sheepish. I made a snowman while I waited.

The car wasn't even that *badly* stuck, but stuck is stuck. It came out on the first try, and by then the plow had down the driveway (so I suppose it was convenient that I had slipped off to one side, as he was able to squeeze past me), so I made it in to the barn! Woohoo!!! The horses were ANGRY and ANXIOUS at their breakfast showing up over an hour later than usual, but I got them fed and blanketed. (Blanketing was fun, especially on the one who was most worked up and spun in circles in her stall. Was like putting toddlers in snowsuits.)

Turnout was also a joy, as they were all ramped up. I put a helmet on just in case as I didn't enjoy the prospect of getting kicked in the head if one of them decided to make a too-enthusiastic break for it before I was clear. Which one of them DID try to do, but I still had the lead line clipped to her halter when she went for it, so she got a rude awakening when she hit the end of that line HARD. I held her and made her stand nicely to be unclipped, but she still TORE off the second I had her undone. RUDE. Sometimes you can only do so much.

I did all the stalls and the morning chores, although the snow was like concrete and I couldn't get the wheelbarrow of poop past the doorway, and the snow was impossible to shovel. I had to dump the wheelbarrow right there and get into the poop with my big boots and try to kick it around to spread it out. Ugh. Then I found the water trough was completely dry, so that was another fun extra chore.

And by that point, as my morning was already more than an hour and a half behind schedule and the horse I had intended to ride was the one being the biggest butthead, I gave up on the idea of getting any riding time in. What a bummer. Then I found a big bottle of Cuban rum that one of the other barn ladies had left as a gift for me, and my morning got immediately better. :loveshower:

(No I didn't drink it right away but would anyone have blamed me?)


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## SteadyOn

Back to the past now... WOOOOOOOSSHHHHH

I'm going to talk a bit about what I found difficult when I started riding again after a 15 year hiatus. And I won't just say "Everything" even though that would be fairly accurate.

I'll start with what was still good:
I still had a nice straight back and didn't hunch my shoulders or slouch
I always looked where I was going, instead of down
I had no problems keeping my heels down, and if anything I was jamming them down too far
My brain remembered most of my training and I felt a lot more mentally competent than physically capable

The bad:
My hips were very tight
My toes stuck out SIDEWAYS when I rode, and the only strength in my lower legs was in the backs of them, which exacerbated the problem
Putting my leg on meant digging in the back of my heel, and my heel tended to pop up in the process, and my leg and side would shorten up
I was in a chair seat -- not a terrible one, but one nonetheless
I could baaaaarely put a leg back to ask for canter, and definitely couldn't keep it there! My right leg, especially, would creep forward and wind up sticking out ahead of the girth on a left lead canter, like it had a mind of its own
One leg was much stronger than the other
I had a tendency to tip forward and put slack in the reins when I wanted an upwards transition
Canter was THUMP BOUNCE THUMP BOUNCE THUMP BOUNCE with the reins going slack-tight-slack-tight-slack-tight every stride because I apparently had lost all muscle memory for following the motion. Sorry, horse!
My right shoulder wanted to pop up and forward, and my torso tended to twist to the right
My right side would shorten up and I'd collapse my right oblique so I was tipped a bit that way
I had NO sitting trot
My hands tended to bob with the motion when I posted. Eeeeeek.
Core strength? What's a core strength?
FORGET two point, not happening
I didn't know or remember seat and leg aids for slowing and stopping, and what I was doing, I was doing wrong

The funny thing about all this is that I was actually in decent shape when I started riding again. I could run a 5k... but I was definitely NOT in riding shape!

Once I found the GOOD coach, things gradually started to improve. Unfortunately there is no substitute for time in the saddle, so no matter how good my instruction was, all my "hiccups" took a long time to improve. And by a long time I mean YEARS. Nothing changed overnight, but seeing photos and videos of my riding doesn't make me cringe... as much... these days. It's satisfying to see and feel the hard work paying off with steady improvement.

There's that chart about progress, (attached) that is very, very, very true. Some things got better for a while. Sometimes for just ONE ride. And then they'd get worse again. I'd improve one thing, but something else would backslide. It still feels like I'm balancing a bunch of spinning plates on the ends of bamboo sticks, like that classic Chinese circus act, and some days more plates stay up than on other days.


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## SteadyOn

Guys, despite my car-stuck-in-the-snow incident on Monday, I have to tell you, I am having a good week in horsing!

I had a much smoother morning heading up to the barn on Tuesday, and was able to got in a nice, roughly half hour ride in before finishing up the chores and putting everyone outside.

Now, I know I haven't filled in the gaps from past to present -- _please expect a VERY wandering, time-jumpy narrative in this journal_ -- but I did want to describe how great my week has been so far!

I've been riding alone at an indoor all winter. Which is great because this winter has been a DOOZY. It's just a private little barn on a remote property in the woods. Most people in the area don't even know it exists, which is how we like it! We've had a handful of horses there since November, and in exchange for doing the morning chores, I've been getting unlimited free riding days and one lesson per week. Aside from one lesson on a different horse, I've been riding my usual, smart and talented been-there-done-that senior horse (not one I own, but the one I ride in my lessons), who is smart, sensitive, yet forgiving. The perfect learning mount because she'll give you what you're looking for -- but ONLY if you ask for it right! And she doesn't do anything completely wackadoo. Okay, well, 99.87% of the time she won't, anyhow, which is all we can really ask of any horse.

I have never had so much concentrated riding time available to me, and it's been absolutely amazing. I was starting to get some breakthroughs in my riding last summer and fall, but all the time to myself in a quiet, contained environment, with complete focus and all my own decision making in deciding what to work on, on any given day, has done wonders for me. My coach had heaps of praise for me this week, which felt fantastic because she isn't one to say it if she doesn't mean it, and it was so good to hear that the hard work is really showing.

The hard work is showing in the horse, too. She's looking very fit and has put on some nice new muscle. She's carrying herself very well and is much more nimble and a lot less stiff.

The sitting trot practice has started to pay off, and my coach described it as "already better than a lot of people's" which while not super effusive does sound like an honest assessment and over all a positive one. I need to keep my hands low, wide, and soft to follow it better, but everything else about it is starting to click. It frequently UNclicks, but, so does everything else... See above chart re: progress! ^

The sitting trot practice has also helped to strengthen and deepen my canter seat. It was pretty funny: when I rode on Tuesday, I was following smoothly on the left lead, but feeling a bit rigid and bouncy to the right. In my lesson yesterday, it was the opposite! Today... both were good! Sweeeeeeet.

My seatbones feel very connected and plugged in. I'm using my leg aids more correctly and a lot more intuitively. My crookedness is mostly gone, though my left shoulder wants to come up and ahead and doesn't move as much as it should on my left turns. My legs are back under me in proper alignment (I've always fought a bit of a chair seat, though often riding in jumping saddles despite only riding on the flat hadn't helped with that) and my toes are almost straight ahead. (I'm not forcing them in -- they've turned on their own as my hips have opened and my legs have gotten stronger.)

Another cool development: last week I tried grabbing the back of my thigh on each side and pulling it out to open my hip and get my thigh flat against the saddle. Only... it was already turned all the way on its own. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!! Amazing!

I find that if I take my whole legs off the saddle, from the hip, at the beginning of the ride, and turn my heels out and really think about opening my hips and letting my thigh be as long as possible, my leg is "rolled" exactly the right way when it lies back against the saddle. I now do this periodically and it keeps my position in a good place.

My coach has said that, my shoulder quirk aside, my riding is generally without *major* things to fix right now, and we can start getting into more advanced work this season! I'm excited and a little bit scared. :wink:


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## SteadyOn

I had another lesson today, and my coach wasn't kidding last time when she said we'd start getting into more advanced stuff. We did some canter work, including some flying changes across the diagonal. This horse and I haven't been doing the greatest flying changes, exactly, but they're starting to improve. Part of the initial problem was stiffness and a lack of fitness on the horse's part, but she's started getting much more fit and balanced in the canter, and is looking and feeling great, so we're going to be incorporating more work like this as her and my fitness progress.

Our changes weren't going very smoothly, as I'm still not used to them and find them kind of rough. Unfortunately I exacerbate the problem by anticipating it being uncomfortable, and bracing my body, while also trying to turn her too sharply to force the change and get it over with. Oh boy! So for experiment's sake, my coach had me also go across the diagonal but try to stay on the same lead and proceed in counter canter. Well! I got much nicer, smoother flying changes when I didn't even want them. *facepalm* But it was a great lesson in asking more subtly and just LETTING them happen when I DO ask for them!!

Trying to maintain counter canter itself was a crazy mindgame. Well, mind-and-body game. I haven't practiced it in a year and a half, and the ring we're riding in right now is REALLY small so it's extra challenging to maintain it in such a tight space. But, trying to maintain outside flexion while turning to the inside?? Bwuhhhhh. My muscle memory betrayed me over and over and I would either accidentally ask for a change, or end up holding her too tightly and fall into trot. Definitely going to need to practice this! It's good to have a new thing to be baffled by, though. Haaa.

*Hang on a minute there SteadyOn, I though this was a re-rider journal! You were just talking about what your body sucked at doing when you started back. And how you couldn't even canter confidently off a lunge line. How are we now on flying changes and counter canter??*

Well, imaginary reader, I'm glad you asked. Re-rider me was indeed initially thumping, bouncing, and careening around the arena just a few strides of canter at a time, before puttering out on the forehand and breaking into superfasttrot. And at some point I'll dedicate some entries to filling in the long, crazy, comi-tragic learning process that has gotten me to this point. But I also want to journal things as they happen, too!

The short answer for now though is... I got better! I got a lot better. And if you're struggling as a beginner or adult re-rider, you can and will too! But it took two and a half years of practice and solid coaching, and there are a lot of blanks to fill in and stories to tell!


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## whisperbaby22

I always do that take the leg off the saddle thing when I first get on. Works good!


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## SteadyOn

Not my best ride this morning. Not my worst, but still, one of those kind of "off" days.

Things didn't start out too well when my car wouldn't start because my partner had been dinking around with the headlights last night, and didn't periodically start it to keep the battery charged. So we had to find someone to give us a boost, and I got to the barn late and irritated.

When I got on the horse, I had a weird case of nerves. And I think I jinxed myself last night. I was reflecting on how my riding has been going lately, and feeling pleased about how much my confidence has improved and how I'm much better at visualizing successful rides instead of conjuring up all the ways I *could* possibly have a wreck.

Getting self-congratulatory is apparently a good way to remind your subconscious that it isn't done with you yet. As soon as I was on her, my brain started to picture ways things could go south. Great.

Did I mention this horse is solid and not spooky 99.87% of the time? I've had ONE spooky day on her, back in the fall, where it was way too much for me and I did think I was going to take a spill. That was a cold, noisy, windy day with random HUGE gusts blowing through the arena and rattling the trees and gates, though. And I should have lunged her first but I was too lazy to go back to the barn for the equipment. I digress...

Today, things started out steady as usual, but on one of our 20m canter circles, she decided she had a problem one direction with the sliding door that goes out to the back paddock. She did those straight-ahead "radar ears" at it, and cut in on that side of the circle to avoid it and was blowing off my aids and turning her head out to look at it. Great. I took her around two more times with the same result, and she cut in to avoid it MORE rather than less. Not what I needed on a day where I was already feeling tense. You can tell I've been spoiled by how easy this horse normally is -- and how off I was already today -- when THAT is enough to make me feel threatened. I stopped trying the large canter circles beside it and did smaller trot circles. She was mostly fine, but not TOTALLY fine, and I moved on to other things to get both our minds off it.

Amusingly, she was fine going right past it along the track, but any angle I took that had her approaching it where she was looking directly at it, I got the EARS and the little OMG from her. Made me wonder if something was out there. I tried a four-loop serpentine at the pokiest ever trot, and she still was not cool going towards it. She had a couple small "moments" that probably looked like nothing, but I could feel them. After I'd put in a decent workout on her I stopped things for the day.

Nothing "happened," and I think she and I actually both went pretty well otherwise. When I'm nervous the tension does affect my riding, though, and I tend to tip a bit, tighten a bit, and my one shoulder that likes to pop up and forward on me goes there and wants to stay there. I'm also now switching up my saddle, back and forth between a dressage saddle and a new GP one so I don't get "spoiled" by the dressage saddle, but I do feel less secure in the GP that I used today.

Over all, I didn't get the "sweeeeet, awesome ride!!" feeling today that I've been getting lately, but they can't all be like that. 

With lots more riding I've developed a lot more "feel" for any tension in the horse. My coach rolls her eyes at me for thinking little "nothings" are a big deal. And I do need to learn to just ride through stuff, but after some bolting and major spooking falls very early in my riding days, my self-preservation, defensive instincts are VERY strong. (Strong enough that I'm not sure why I chose THIS sport some days, haha.) I think mostly it's a good thing, but heaven help me if I'm ever taking lessons on an ACTUALLY spooky horse.


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## whisperbaby22

Visualizing can help with some sports, but I think with horses you must first kind of relax and let your mind go blank before you get on. The thing is to tune into what the horse is feeling at the time. I know that right now you are focused on learning to ride, and that's what you should be doing, but all riding must do the tune in thing.


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## SteadyOn

Today was a GREAT ride!

Whatever the "something" in the air was yesterday, everything was fine this morning and the mare was back to her usual self. I lunged her first just to see if she had any reaction to the door and she didn't care a bit.

She was well warmed up from the lunging, so I mainly focused on canter work. She's an older horse and had gotten a little out of shape last year, but this winter she's put on lots of muscle and is looking fantastic. "The best she's looked in a few years" according to her owner, so that's great to hear. As she's gotten stronger she's had more balance and stamina in the canter. I did a pattern each direction: one full lap, then a second lap with a 15m circle at the top, a 20m circle in the centre, and a 15m circle at the far end. She nailed it and sustained the canter throughout. I also did some pretty tight trot serpentines to keep her moving through those turns.

My canter seat has really improved with the amount of riding I've been doing lately. Whereas even a couple weeks ago, I had a bit of bounce one way, I'm actually able to sit deep and stay there both ways now, most of the time.

I'll write up an entry soon on my "canter journey" because it's been quite a process! I mean, everything is, isn't it. Forever. Ha.


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## SteadyOn

Today's ride was pretty okay? I was in a wretched mood today, and unfortunately I have trouble leaving Life Stuff outside of the riding ring. Even if I'm able to push it away mentally, it creates tension in my body and things just don't feel quite right. Even if I'm technically riding fine, I feel "off." Today was one of those. Plus I hadn't ridden since Tuesday, and even though two days of not riding would have sounded like nothing to me before, I've ridden so much lately that it felt like "time off" that I didn't really want to take.

And from a technical perspective, today I really wasn't quite as "fine" as usual. My sitting trot, which has been improving lately, was so stiff I could actually feel myself catching air time in the saddle. Not good. I was able to use the muscles in my seat and thighs to cushion the blows so I wasn't actually thumping the horse hard in the back, but having to do that also interfered with softly following with my seat, so it became a bit of a vicious loop.

My canter seat was following fine though, and staying soft and active, which was interesting. The canter work was decent today, if very pokey, but she STAYED in canter (with one notable exception that I'll describe further on). My upwards transitions were a bit messy. I did both trot to canter and walk to canter. She would lift her front end nicely to step under, and at the same moment I'd be caught leaning forward and the reins would go slack for that first moment. Not particularly elegant, but I was fine every time once we were actually IN canter. Really need to work on those upwards transitions. Our downwards transitions have been great -- probably aided by her tendency to want to poke along lately. :/ 

I had lunged her first, in some elastic side reins as she tends to sort of shuffle along and not carry herself well if she isn't given some incentive now and then. But I think what limited energy she had today was spent before I got on her. She's been in heat all week, and AGGRESSIVELY sidling up to the boys in the paddock! I think by today it had taken a lot out of her. Still, even though she wasn't forward in her gaits, she STAYED in them quite well for the most part.

I did have one moment of "Oh no you DIDN'T!!" with her. Often, in the first bit of canter, she'll have to tug her head down to get a good cough or two out of her system, and then she's good to go. (Just an allergy thing that crops up sometimes, and exercise seems to set her off a bit.) And even though she had gotten some of her coughs out on the lunge today, I felt her suddenly plunge down during one of our first canters of the ride, so I let the reins slip so she could cough it out... And there was NO cough!!! She punked me! Reefed the reins right out of my hands and dropped into a sedate trot. SMART horse! If that's her being "naughty" then I'm very, very lucky to be riding such a nice horse!  And I am!

Today was my last ride up at the winter barn with the nice indoor arena, before they're moved back home for the season. I won't be able to ride nearly as much now, but I have come away from this winter a much better, stronger rider -- today's stiff ride aside. (I really do wish today's ride had been another AMAZING ride like Tuesday's but we all have our days!) And it's made me a better horse person, with all the handling and feeding I've done over this winter. It's been really lovely, as much as it's also been very hard work. I'll miss it, but I'll also enjoy having my mornings back!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Glad to see you have a journal to document your journey. I imagine it's very hard to get back into riding and start progressing on a journey. But we all have bad days and days where we're mentally not 100% I'll say yoga and meditation help a lot and being mindful of your breathing. Deep breaths. Quite a few horses react very badly to tension in the chest, it's sort of interesting but being mindful of opening your chest, focusing on your breathing through the worst of your mind and pushing it out is helpful in all aspects. Or compartmentalizing when I'm on the horse, this is where I am, when I'm off the horse that's where I am. Hard I know, all of us do it but don't be too hard on yourself. It happens.


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## SteadyOn

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Glad to see you have a journal to document your journey. I imagine it's very hard to get back into riding and start progressing on a journey. But we all have bad days and days where we're mentally not 100% I'll say yoga and meditation help a lot and being mindful of your breathing. Deep breaths. Quite a few horses react very badly to tension in the chest, it's sort of interesting but being mindful of opening your chest, focusing on your breathing through the worst of your mind and pushing it out is helpful in all aspects. Or compartmentalizing when I'm on the horse, this is where I am, when I'm off the horse that's where I am. Hard I know, all of us do it but don't be too hard on yourself. It happens.


Thanks @DanteDressageNerd! It's been absolutely bananas, but I'm so glad I'm riding again. It was such a big gap in time, and it felt almost like starting over, but it's really been a lifesaver after so many big changes in my personal life. I only wish I'd started journalling earlier, as I've come really far, and those first days were certainly... entertaining!

While you're here, can I pick your brain for advice on that canter transition? It's wonderful that she lifts her front end and really steps under, but staying with it is a challenge! Sometimes I get it (more or less) but often I end up tipping forward more than I'd like, and the lifting front end puts a big slack in the reins for that first step, even though I'm expecting it.


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## tinyliny

we are so lucky to have quality members, like @*Dante*DressageNerd
who can provide , free of charge, advice that comes from a wealth of experience. Where else can you get that? for free, and personal, with personal warmth, other than at Horse Forum. ????

Gosh, I love this place!!! and the people! it doesn't get any better!!!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Caroline, thank you. I try to help as much as I can but it is a personal forum and I like that about it 

SteadyOn- I can well imagine it's a process. Riding is great therapy. It really helps with focus and a lot of the time I think people put too much pressure on themselves and have too high of expectations and it interferes with the peace and harmony of enjoying the process. 

With the canter transition, I'm not sure if I entirely understand the pictures you're describing. There are a few ways I tell people to prepare for a canter transition, in trot, switching to the opposite diagnol can help you feel the right moment to cue the transition to canter. I generally put a bit more weight in my outside seat bone, 2 half halts on the outside rein to straighten the shoulder, outside leg back and inside leg on and just allow my hip to follow. It may help you to grab the pommel into the transition and stay engaged in your core so you do not tip forward or get left behind the motion. There is no shame in grabbing the pommel it will help you stay steady in your hands and go into the transition smoothly. It's not a handicap, it's a temporary stabilization technique. I grab my grab strap at times, not to hang on but if a horse is pulling on me or unsteady in the contact it helps me stay steady or I'll bridge my reins on a horse who tends to play in the contact and get unsteady because then they can't make my hands unsteady from pulling.


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## SteadyOn

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Caroline, thank you. I try to help as much as I can but it is a personal forum and I like that about it
> 
> SteadyOn- I can well imagine it's a process. Riding is great therapy. It really helps with focus and a lot of the time I think people put too much pressure on themselves and have too high of expectations and it interferes with the peace and harmony of enjoying the process.
> 
> With the canter transition, I'm not sure if I entirely understand the pictures you're describing. There are a few ways I tell people to prepare for a canter transition, in trot, switching to the opposite diagnol can help you feel the right moment to cue the transition to canter. I generally put a bit more weight in my outside seat bone, 2 half halts on the outside rein to straighten the shoulder, outside leg back and inside leg on and just allow my hip to follow. It may help you to grab the pommel into the transition and stay engaged in your core so you do not tip forward or get left behind the motion. There is no shame in grabbing the pommel it will help you stay steady in your hands and go into the transition smoothly. It's not a handicap, it's a temporary stabilization technique. I grab my grab strap at times, not to hang on but if a horse is pulling on me or unsteady in the contact it helps me stay steady or I'll bridge my reins on a horse who tends to play in the contact and get unsteady because then they can't make my hands unsteady from pulling.


Thanks so much! I really appreciate the advice.

I'm not even entirely sure what's happening or why. I'd love to see video of it but it's tricky for me to get any. My coach is busy, well, coaching, and there's rarely anyone else around. I may ask her to film some of the transitions for me anyhow.

I think part of what's happening is that I'm exaggerating my hip movement to try to push her into the canter, rather than using my whip to reinforce my aids if she chooses to ignore my ask. So I end up rocking my whole upper body forward and pumping my hips. I don't actually have a driving seat once we're cantering, but I apparently seem to when I'm ASKING, so by the time I get that first lift-and-step I'm still rocking my upper body forward to prepare to push my hips, and that's where that moment of disconnection is happening. I hadn't really thought it through before but now I'm pretty sure that's where it's coming from. The reins going slack then taut on that first stride are a side effect of me rocking my body too much on the ask. 

I actually love using a grab strap or holding the pommel, as a training tool for myself, so I'll definitely give that a shot! I've been known to work my abs by one-handing the reins in sitting trot and PULLING myself down into the saddle with the other hand on the pommel, to get my body going with the motion. I definitely feel the burn!!

Again, thanks! Always appreciate your insights.


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## DanteDressageNerd

You're very welcome. I'm happy to help 

It sounds like you lose suppleness in the hip and disengage your core in the canter and end up rocking with your whole body. In the canter transition, you do not need to work so hard or over think it. You don't need a hip movement to cue the canter, it can literally be just outside leg back, inside leg at the girth and canter. It doesn't need to be complicated. You don't want to sit heavy in your seat, depth is not about heaviness in your seat but suppleness. The weight should go down into your heals. There is a trick of how deep and how light can you be at the same time. Don't drive into the canter, think of it as your hips allow the canter to happen but you don't need to push or shove or pump. Just ask and go.


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## SteadyOn

Yesterday I had my first ride of the season back at the "home" barn, in the outdoor arena.

Now, one strange effect of riding in the indoor arena all winter, in the DEAD QUIET, was that every single noise stood out, and the horses were jumpy at even tiny changes. The horse I leased over the winter is normally pretty bombproof, but even she had some small spooks at sudden noises in the extremely still arena. My last outdoor ride on her had been on a VERY windy day, and it had been the only time I really thought I was going to fall off of her, in two and a half years of riding her, as she was spooking and sort "pinging" randomly around the arena. Very out of character, and at one moment I had felt that sort of swell of tension in her body and had that "Oh crap here we go" feeling that a shy and bolt was going to happen. And while it DID happen, it was short-lived and I stuck it out, but it left me jumpy and rattled for quite a while after that. It's funny. In a horse that's normally spooky I think it would have shaken me less, but in her it was so sudden and strange that I carried a worry for a while that she might spook in a zero-to-one-hundred way at some point that I wouldn't see coming.

However. She hadn't done a single BIG spook since.

So, I was actually feeling pretty good about yesterday's return to the outdoors. However, the afternoon started to have some bad weird weather, with -- oh boy -- big random gusts of wind coming through. A perfect copy of the weather that had set her off outside the last time. I thought about cancelling but decided to just wait and see. And, PHEW, by the time my lesson was about to happen, it had all cleared up and was totally pleasant (if humid) out!

I hadn't ridden since Friday, and this would at one time have been a perfectly normal span between rides, but as I was riding four times or more per week over the last month and a half, I did notice some stiffness after that gap. It didn't help that I just started running again this week for the first time since January, and my legs were still sore from that. However! The ride went, and felt, much better than expected. For some reason I was REALLY pushing for a fast trot, and clucking a lot when I'm normally actually a pretty quiet rider. I kept having to be told to bring her back a bit, when it's usually the opposite with me. The horse felt very different this ride -- not just my stiff body -- and it was interesting what a bit of time off, a change of scene, and the reintroduction of a couple of other riders into her schedule had done to how she felt. I had been the only one riding her for months, so we were very tuned in to each other. Maybe a little too much, as I think it's good for both horse and rider to change things up a bit!

We rode over some poles at the trot, and I was stiff enough that I actually had to go up a hole from my usual dressage saddle length as I just wasn't draping quite as long as I usually do when I'm really relaxed and open in my hips. My coach's advice is to "ride the best you can with the body you have" on a given day, though, so up went the stirrups and I rode in a slightly lighter seat. My canter seat -- which had been so much more open in the hips and following so much better lately -- was wanting to bounce, so I let myself float above it a bit instead and let a lot of the motion drop down into my heel (keeping your advice in mind, DDN, thanks!!) and was able to still ride pretty well despite my tired body fighting me. I managed to do it without popping right up into a half seat, which would normally have been my default on a stiff day. My old hunter lessons frequently kick back in (involuntarily) despite the fact that I haven't had one in nearly 20 years!

We also did a lot of canter work, including quite a few transitions, and some 15 and 10 meter canter circles. My canter to walk transitions were not so great as my body wanted to post the one or two strides of trot that would slip in there, which didn't exactly help. We also did some flying changes on a figure eight, and my recent failure at staying in counter canter had taught me that a much lighter ask for the change was enough, and those went a lot more smoothly.

Riding in the humidity, plus my tired post-run legs, made me feel like I was having much more of a push ride experience than I think, in hindsight, that I actually was. Still, it was really interesting to feel the difference being back in that ring again after so much riding this winter. I felt so much better, more in control (even though my steering wasn't amazing -- but I think I just need to relearn my spatial awareness in there, as my steering was pretty spot on all winter). My body is so much stronger and more balanced now.

And despite my stiffness, my sitting trot was actually really good! Go figure. Bodies are so strange.

I also got some good news, in that I can continue with my usual horse this season for a very reasonable fee, AND ride two of the less-used lesson ponies for free, to tune them back up. I also have access to a nice Western horse, at a different barn, that I can put some rides on for free. All in all, it seems I will be rolling in ponies this year!


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## SteadyOn

It's easy to be humble...

...when you've spent the entire winter riding one horse consistently (aside from two rides on a vacation in January) and then try a new one of a completely different size and shape, and find yourself mysteriously and completely losing one of your stirrups in canter.

Specifically the left lead canter, and the left stirrup. Point in my favour, though: I was able to carry on quite well without it, and actually got it BACK once!

Anyhow, getting ahead of myself. So. This summer, there are two lesson horses at my barn that need a bit of post-lease rehab from having another barn's beginners bombing around on them and letting them move like strung out giraffes. Both have picked up some bad small habits, none of them dangerous, but that need to get sorted out. One is recovering from a minor injury and can only have very short, light rides right now. The other is fine but needs to start carrying herself better under saddle. So, tonight I rode the latter one.

I normally ride a big warmblood with a wide barrel, long back, long neck, low head carriage, and who is a pretty level ride. Tonight's horse was a small, narrow, springy, short-necked short-backed Pintarabian. My usual horse rides like a locomotive, pushing straight and smooth and powerfully forward. The little horse tonight was like riding a deer. Still nice but SO different! Which is actually GREAT because I worry that riding only the same horse all the time is going to make me a bit complacent and start overestimating my abilities. Nothing is more humbling as a rider than trying a different horse and suddenly feeling completely at sea!

However, I didn't feel COMPLETELY at sea by any means, so that was a good sign. I found trying to gauge how she was moving, and how quickly, was quite difficult because I had no point of reference from any previous lessons on her for what "her" working trot, canter, etc are supposed to feel like. So I listened to my coach (I do that, yes I do!) and adjusted accordingly.

She did a lot of wiggling her head around, and tossing it, and the longer I rode the more dramatic her head tossing became. (This was apparently an evasion tactic with the beginners.) I was having a bit of trouble working with it at first, but developed two strategies that helped. One was to take up the random slack in the reins by widening my hands instead of constantly readjusting my rein length, which was getting a bit ridiculous. The other was, as her head tossing got more dramatic, to stop really thinking about her head at all and just ride her from her back end forward, if that makes sense. That was actually helpful on several levels because it helped make my seat feel immediately stronger and more independent, and it made me semi-tune-out the fussing happening in front of me and think of the bigger picture.

My leg was really ON tonight, and even though I was riding in a different saddle than I'm used to, as well, I felt very secure. I was in a jumping saddle instead of a dressage saddle, so did have to ride shorter to be effective (and in hindsight should probably have ridden even shorter. Maybe.). I saw some photos after the ride, and was pretty shocked to see how DEEP my heels were. But that wasn't all of it. My whole leg felt engaged and like it was working to support me. My hips weren't as open as they are in the dressage saddle, but that's to be expected. I really did feel all my muscles working together to support me and to get the job done.

What needs improvement: my right leg seemed to be moving a lot to try to be effective, whereas my left leg was just kind of quietly there, but still on and strong. My feet wanted to come forward on me, especially in canter! I think that's maybe why I was losing that left stirrup on the left lead, but I'm not exactly sure. My coach said that something about that horse's stride does tend to want to push your leg forward so it wasn't just me. She also told me that my heels weren't coming up and I didn't seem to be shortening my leg on that side, so actually losing the stirrup was pretty bizarre. I lost it three times that direction, haha! But my seat was ON tonight and I just kept riding without it. And I actually got it BACK once! Woohoo! But immediately started to lose it again... There was a LOT of sand and grit on my boot soles tonight, so that might have been part of the problem, but I think it was probably 90% something I was doing (or not doing).

I was also a little bit tippy side to side at moments. Not in a major way, to where I lost my balance, but it snuck up on me! I think that came from not being used to a narrow horse. My legs and hips and body were a bit confused. Oh well, this is meant to keep me honest, after all!

All in all, though, a good ride. Very cool to have a new and so very DIFFERENT horse to ride regularly! I might actually start to get well rounded. :O

A great takeaway from tonight: I'm starting to feel like my seat is getting strong enough that if a horse I was on WERE to do something a bit wacky or act up a little, I could keep my seat and just ride it out. Not that I'm seeking out scenarios to test that any time soon.  Still, it's a great feeling!


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## SteadyOn

Man, what a ride!

I just had a super stressful week, with work eating up just about every waking minute of my life. I kept trying to get out to ride, but invariably the work day, and/or other obligations, and in one instance weather... would conspire to get in the way. 

I wasn't sure how tonight's lesson would go, as I hadn't ridden since last Saturday, and have abruptly gone from riding four days a week for most of March and April, to abruptly cutting back to once or twice. BUT! It was so good!

My body usually fights me after a tense week, but tonight I think I was so pumped to FINALLY get to ride, it decided to really cooperate. I was super limber, strong when needed, felt balanced and my seat just felt so "on" that it was like I was part of the saddle.

It's late here now, and I'm sitting on my tired butt eating a bunch of Haagen Dazs brownies and cookie dough ice cream straight from the container while my partner is dead asleep in the other room. I really do want to recap the ride properly though, so I think I'll revisit that tomorrow at some point.

I will say briefly though that I did sit a spook and totally just went with it, physically and mentally. That's actually HUGE for me, because I tend to be a bit of a nervous rider. But no, she spooked at a LEAF. On the GROUND. It wasn't even moving. And it was so bizarre from this unflappable horse, that the instructor and myself just laughed at her about it and we carried on. I was, amazingly for me, in no way traumatized by it. :lol:


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## SteadyOn

Tonight I went out and put in my first "non-lesson" ride since the horses returned to their regular summer barn. It was warm and sunny, and I rode late enough in the evening that I missed the heat of the day, so it was *almost* a comfortable ride....... except for the flies that were really into swarming right in my, and the horse's, face. About 30 seconds into the ride, one flew up my nose and has yet to come out again.

I was on my usual big easygoing warmblood lesson horse, the one I rode all winter. She was a bit bothered by the flies, and a bit tired from an earlier lesson in the day, but she was a good sport about everything, and the flies really dropped off once we got moving. She was a little on the pokey side tonight, but did everything I asked and didn't fall out of her gaits at all. I used to lose her canter constantly -- and I mean CONSTANTLY -- so she and I have both come a long way with that. I'm also no longer afraid to tap her back up with the whip if I need to, which helps, though in hindsight I don't think I had to touch her with it at all tonight.

To clarify, when I say I was previously "afraid" to use my whip to reinforce my leg, what I mean was, I used to assume that the error was always mine as a rider, and would err on the side of not using the whip as I didn't want to tap the horse for my own shortcomings. Now, I'm much more confident about timing with it when it IS needed, though I'm sparing with it still and only use it enough to get the job done.

I worked on sitting trot quite a bit tonight, and it was really clicking. I had a bit of bounce at first as I shifted my pelvic angle around trying to find that sweet spot, but once I was there everything was nice and loosey goosey and my bum didn't leave the saddle at all. I was even able to maintain it at a not-painfully-slow trot, so that was cool! All that practice, thumping around over the winter (sorry, horse!) is finally paying off. I don't feel like I have to FIERCELY CONCENTRATE to keep it all together anymore. It's coming to me a lot more naturally, though I still have off days, and I do have to make frequent adjustments.

The canter work was decent. She was a bit stiff to one side, which isn't unusual for her, especially when she's tired, but unfortunately we did end up in a bit of a "stiffness loop," as feeling the stiffness in her was making me tense up a bit as the movement felt a bit different. We weren't as good at staying properly on the track in that direction, but I focused more on the movement itself than on precision steering. My right leg kept wanting to creep forward on me, which was an old problem I had when I was just starting back into cantering again. Every now and then it pops up again. Don't know why, and fighting it doesn't really help either, but I've learned to ride through it and just shrug it off as a "thing."

However, that aside, we did do some pretty nice 15 and 10 metre circles at both canter and trot! I did a 15m circle canter figure 8 with a flying change, twice in each direction, and she stayed balanced through it, the circles stayed pretty round, and she gave me the lead change when I asked for it instead of just when she felt like it!

We wound things down with more sitting trot, and did some serpentines. By now I was really warmed up and so was she, so she was easier to sit to and it felt great.

I also worked on using mostly my seat muscles to collect her trot, which was a fun exercise. I'm still not sure how to break down exactly *how* my body is telling her to collect but stay trotting, but whatever it is, it seems to be working. A combination of a very slight blocking with the seat, and a shortening and repeated slight half-halts with the hands, while keeping my leg on to keep the "gas pedal" on and keep her in the gait. Conversely, to extend, I open my hips and knees, let my seat completely go with the flow, add leg and have a giving hand.

It's so very cool to ride such an adjustable horse, and one who's such a good sport. She's chill enough to carry total beginners and very small children, but has the training to keep allowing someone to "unlock" different aids with her. As my riding has progressed, I've gotten more and more out of her that was there this whole time. I just didn't know how to access it!

After all that, I walked her back to the barn, and my coach said "Oh, did you give up because of the bugs?" Haha. All that and I guess I had been riding for MAYBE 25 minutes? I guess I packed a lot in, because it FELT like a long ride!

In summary: my body was doing some funky canter stuff, but it still got the job done, and my sitting trot was some of the best I've ever ridden on this horse! Even though it wasn't as "OMG YES" as Friday's ride was (I still haven't recapped that one -- oops!!) it was really satisfying, and I've come such a very long way!!!


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## whisperbaby22

I know that everybody is different, but I feel that for me, sitting the trot keeps me from having any lower back problems.


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## SteadyOn

whisperbaby22 said:


> I know that everybody is different, but I feel that for me, sitting the trot keeps me from having any lower back problems.


I honestly can't get over the difference in my core and back strength, honestly! It's been amazing.

I'm in my mid 30s now, and I've never, until the last few months, had proper core strength. Never in my entire life. And it's all thanks to the amount of riding I managed to fit in over the winter, but especially in April.

I have been DRILLING the sitting trot, as well as sitting the canter. And as a result, I feel like I've been put in this strange, new and different body. I can't get over how stable but adjustable my core is. Not just in riding but in everyday actions. I especially notice it when I go out to walk or run.

I have a freelance career that requires leaning awkwardly over a desk for long hours, and it used to lead to cramping, stiffness, and back pain, but since increasing my riding, it's a nonissue. I can't believe it. Even for people who don't LOVE riding, I'd almost recommend it just for the core workout! As someone who has always hated and avoided core exercises my whole life, I had no idea what I was missing out on, or how much fun I could have achieving this.


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## SteadyOn

*The slowly-but-surely evolution of my leg and seat*

So, I haven't lately gotten into the re-rider aspect of my journal here. My bad! But I also haven't wanted to skip updating on a ride-by-ride basis as that's important too. Still, a big part of this, in the first place, was wanting to talk about the journey I've gone/been on getting my riding skills and fitness back to where they were as a kid and teen... and then moving beyond!

It's been such a HUGE, crazy process, though, that I think I'm going to get the best results by breaking it down into different subtopics.

For now, I want to talk about position, and I put forward the following photo(s), which shows my seat and leg position as it has evolved over two and half years as an adult 30-something "re-rider."

Image 1: When I first started back, I was very insecure and inflexible. My hips were tight, my legs were tight, and my toes pointed out sideways. My knee was right off the saddle and my legs wanted to assume a chair position. I knew all these things, and yet my body wouldn't cooperate to "fix" any of them no matter how hard I tried. What you see in photo 1 is me doing my honest best to hold my position. The result was a tippy rider with a wonky leg who toed out to the extreme, and tipped forward every time she asked for something. This was taken on December 26, 2015. I had been riding again for just six months, after fifteen years off, and only three of those months were with a decent coach, and I had only been able to ride once a week.

Image 2: By this point my toes had started to come in. I was able to somewhat sit more of the gaits, though I still had a mean bounce in canter and my legs wanted to shorten up on me in sitting trot -- which was a bouncy affair. My toes were no longer pointing out sideways, but only because I made a conscious effort to weight the outside of my stirrup iron, which was fine in seated work but made my ankles ACHE in two-point. I had no idea what direction I wanted to take in my riding, and this particular photo was from a hunter class in a local show. This photo was taken in September of 2016, about a year and a half into re-riding, and after about a year with the good coach. My stirrups were a bit on the short side here as I had them short enough to ride canter in half-seat for the class. But as you can see, between the saddle and some remaining inflexibility, I still rode in a chair seat.

Image 3: This was March of this year. I had really worked HARD to open my hips and get a stronger leg, seat, and core. Here, I was still getting used to riding in a dressage saddle and my hips/lower back hadn't opened up as much as they have now, but there's still a huge difference between this one, and pictures 1 and 2, that I feel really good about. My leg is further under me (and has improved since this pic as my back/hips unlocked) and I'm no longer needing to weight the outside of my stirrup bar to get my toes/feet turned the right way. My thigh naturally wants to lie flat against the saddle. My hips and lower back soften to follow the movement and my slowly-earned core strength keeps me stabilized.

In hindsight it feels like this took FOREVER to get to where I am now, and I'm very aware that insufficient practice could put me almost back where I began if I had to stop riding for any significant length of time. Even though it's been two and a half years, I still feel exactly what that woman in picture 1 felt, if I think about it, so I know how far I've come.

I know one of the most common questions of people starting out, or restarting in riding, is "How do I turn my toes in?" and the good news is, it will happen with a lot of practice. The bad news is, it takes A LOT of practice!! But with more riding comes more strength, and with more strength comes more flexibility.

I'm in no way saying my position is perfect. It's not. There's major room for improvement still, but there HAS been improvement. And the Me on the horse in photo 1 would be pretty blown away by the Me in photo 3!

Can't wait to see what photo 4 will look like!!


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## whisperbaby22

I sometimes run into people who think horses are too expensive, but when you weigh the benefits against the cost you come out way ahead. Physical fitness is just one of those benefits.


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## SteadyOn

whisperbaby22 said:


> I sometimes run into people who think horses are too expensive, but when you weigh the benefits against the cost you come out way ahead. Physical fitness is just one of those benefits.


Oh, definitely! And riding doesn't even have to BE expensive. I could currently be riding for free if I weren't interested in lessons. I know several people who would be happy just to have their horses exercised without an official "part boarder" status. There are also ways to work off the cost, or to do things in trade. Even getting just a lesson or two per week really isn't any more expensive that having sessions with a personal trainer. I rode my butt off all winter for free in exchange for morning chores, which was great for my fitness levels, and meant the horse started the season in great shape, too!


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## SteadyOn

The other night, I had another lesson on the bouncy little Pintarabian. BOY do I ever find her difficult. I've been cruising around pretty relaxed, pretty confident, on the big warmblood I was riding all winter. I got to know her really well and got very tuned to her. We could read each other extremely well, and subtle aids and movements really started to connect.

But now, on this weird little short-necked bouncy hony? I am LOST. 

Which tells me that she's probably exactly what I need right now.

Where the big warmblood is like a freight train, big and long and low and running on a very STRAIGHT track, this little horse is high-headed, has next to no neck, and noodles around all over the place. She's responsive to leg aids and will bend nicely if you ask correctly, but it's NOT easy. Straight lines are... challenging...

My relaxation (of which there was not much) wasn't helped early in the ride when she decided one corner of the ring was spooky, and would only go past it by dropping her shoulder dramatically and turning her head almost completely sideways to the outside. She didn't actually spook, but the build-up was there and there was definitely "spooky potential." I will admit I gave that corner some space, from that direction, for a bit of the ride. Nothing "happened" but I wanted to keep it that way. At one point we could see something moving around in the bushes there, so possibly some turkeys or deer were rustling around. There was also a strange big booming noise coming from the nearby woods.

Let me take a moment here to say that it's actually rather BIG for me that I was -- relatively -- okay with all this. At some point, as a rider, I have become so afraid of spooking *as a concept* that I started to be more nervous, at the prospect, than most of the horses I've been riding. I'm not actually a nervous rider in an all-round sense, but if I'm in a situation where I think spooking has a high likelihood of happening, I am generally NOT OKAY. However, I know my coach trusts this horse and that she's done a bit of everything with her, so I had some faith in the horse but also in my seat and skills, and I rode through it. Repeatedly. And I did. Not. Freak. Out!!

So, that was pretty cool!

The canter work was slightly better this week. I only lost my stirrup the FIRST time I cantered her, hahaha. It was on the left lead again, but instead of losing my left stirrup, my right one shot to just the end of my toe. I'd have done better to let it drop but instead tried too hard to keep it and got dreadfully unbalanced. I precarious winged around one corner like that before bringing her back and trying again. We did lots of trot-canter-trot-canter-trot transitions to help me get used to her striking off, as she definitely goes SPROING in a way that I'm not used to, and was unbalancing me to some extent initially.

The balance issue isn't helped by how much narrower she is than the other horse(s) I'm used to riding. It took very little to find myself leaning on one stirrup or one hip more than I ought to, and my forwards/backwards balance (which is usually pretty solid) was tested a lot more than I'm used to, too.

Even if I'm mentally okay with exploring new things in my riding, my body has its own ways of protesting changes. My coach REALLY wanted me to relax and sit the canter, but my body was begging me to stay in a defensive half-seat while it tried to figure out what was going on!! 98% of the time I at least TRY to do what my coach asks me to, but this was a case where I just needed to do what I needed to do! I'm sure I'll get to a place where I can work on sitting it, but that was not the night for it!

Over all... it was pretty rough! But not quite as rough as the previous ride. So.

I can look at how hard I'm finding this, after feeling like I was really starting to NAIL things on my usual horse, and I can see it either negatively or positively. Negatively, I could tell myself that I'm not actually a good rider, and that even though it did take a LOT of work to get where I did with that horse (two and a half years!), that I didn't really get much better at riding. That I only got better at riding THAT horse.

OR. I can look at this as an extremely important learning opportunity to expand my horizons. If I can learn to ride BOTH these horses well, my ability as a rider will have a lot more range. I can also be happy that I'm finding new challenges to overcome. That I'm finding all kinds of new holes in my riding that I can fix in this situation -- holes that I could never have fixed on the other horse, no matter how much farther we progressed.

This isn't actually a permanent move away from my "usual" horse by any means, but she is being shown and partially leased, this season, by a woman who takes about four lessons a week and plans to show her, so her availability is much more limited. I'm sad, but I also don't have the time or money to have leased her instead myself. I'm sure the option would have been there, but it's not something I can do. A little part of me is jealous, but the much bigger, better part of me knows she's not "my" horse no matter how much I've ridden her. And I also know that I very much need to ride other horses now to progress. So, it's definitely bittersweet. But I can probably still ride her on a weekly basis, or so, so it's hardly something to get upset about.


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## SteadyOn

So I accidentally skipped writing about my last lesson. It's been a busy, stressful week, and while it was a good lesson, it was pretty standard. Things that stood out: the normally easygoing horse -- I was back on the big warmblood schoolmaster I usually ride -- was being weird about one corner of the arena. The same corner the other horse had been weird about on the previous ride! Again, she didn't really "do" anything about it, but previously I would have been really wigged out by the potential for spooks. Instead I just rode through it and had faith in myself and my horse that it wouldn't turn into something that I couldn't handle. And it didn't! I'm getting a bit braver about these things. Baby steps!

Tonight I just rode. Not in a lesson. Again, back on the lovely big warmblood I rode all winter. It was super humid here, and the bugs were bad, so not totally ideal riding conditions, but I enjoyed myself anyhow and definitely didn't overdo it. Still, it was a good workout for both of us.

In rising trot I was aware of my upper body wanting to move a little too much, instead of letting my hips handle most of the motion, so I worked on that. I tend to tip more in rising trot when I'm nervous or when I'm trying to get a "going somewhere" pace happening. I think it's an instinctive thing. But it doesn't actually accomplish anything.

My sitting trot was hit and miss. I would bounce a bit. Then I'd get in a groove with it for a bit. Then I'd bounce some more. I had really been starting to nail it when I was riding more often, but now that I'm back down to once or twice a week I'm backsliding on a lot of my skill and fitness. It sucks, but it's unfortunately a fact of life for me right now. Ugh. Still, nothing will truly "undo" the work that I put in this winter. Even if I lose some of the physical fitness, I know what I went through to get there, and can hopefully get it back more readily the next time I have the opportunity to ride my butt off again like that.

Canter work had some pluses and some minuses. She wasn't very willing with it tonight, probably because the air was so hot and heavy. Her transitions into canter were actually great. Nice and snappy, and no running into them, which she is sometimes prone to do, especially on the first few tries. However, I was getting a wrong lead sometimes. Going to the right, she gave me the left lead twice instead. This hasn't happened in months, so that was a bit odd. But not a major thing. The GOOD news is that her flying changes tonight were like butter. Some of the best and smoothest and most balanced that I've ridden on her. Normally she only does them when she gets so awkward that she feels like she HAS to, and dives into them, leaning hard on the reins in the process. Tonight though, despite her not wanting to stay in canter for long, she gave them to me when I actually asked, and they were much more light and balanced! Score! It was so nice to just kind of cruise around the arena in big loops and swoops and just get that change at the right moment for the next curve. The changes were by far the highlight of the ride. I used to NOT be good or confident with them on her, so it's a wonderful improvement. Even if other stuff feels like one step forward and two steps back.

She definitely feels different now that I'm not her only rider, but that's to be expected. I do miss that "customized" feeling one gets as the primary/only rider of a horse. Now that different people of different levels are back taking lessons on her, she's not quite as tuned into every subtle little thing. Which is over all a good thing, really, given she does a lot of beginner lessons. But... *wipes tear*... It was so nice while it lasted!!! She's still wonderful though, and DOES respond to subtlety, don't get me wrong. But I do feel the difference.

Next lesson out, I'm going to take a lesson on yet ANOTHER different horse. This is another one that needs some tuning up, and that I can ride for free, so that's great for me! Hopefully I won't be quite as at sea on this one. I have ridden her once before, but it's been absolutely ages.

I've recently had a few helpful, positive thoughts about riding. Instead of beating myself up for how difficult I'm finding other horses, I need to remember that what I'm feeling is really just a small taste of how lost I was when I started riding again. In some ways riding a variety of different horses was less difficult for me when I re-started... because they were ALL difficult for me!! Now that I'm really used to one, I notice a lot more of what's different and what's "wrong" instead of just accepting that every horse is going to be different and that some have pretty steep learning curves. In some ways, horses are like musical instruments. And some are more different than others. A master cellist is going to have a hell of a time trying to play a violin, no matter how good they are at the cello. I'm NOT a master, but I am certainly much more skilled on one "instrument" than I am others. And that's to be expected because 98% of my practice has been on that one!


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## whisperbaby22

A lot depends on your goals in riding. At some point, most riders decide to either keep with riding a lot of different horses, or go for a certain discipline with one. You'll figure that out as you go along.


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## SteadyOn

I had a lesson the other night, again on the big warmblood I know so well now. It was a good ride and a productive lesson. I'm actually pretty sore from it -- the good kind of post-workout sore -- which hasn't happened in a while, so I know I worked hard!

It's funny, I can't actually fully remember what we worked on specifically. I mainly remember feeling good in the ride. We did lots of walk/trot transitions to get the horse a bit more on the ball. Trot serpentines, extensions, canter work with some lengthening down the long sides, with a 15m circle in the corner to collect her back up, and then proceeding at a regular working canter to the next long side. Repeat.

I also figured out why I've occasionally been getting the wrong lead on the right rein lately. I just haven't been pushing her ribs out enough into the bend. It isn't usually a problem but it comes up now and then, so it's great to know the fix!

My seat was being mostly on good behaviour. The bounce I was having in my canter last week was gone again, thankfully, except in the extended canter -- which I'm not used to. Putting on more leg, plus the bigger motion, plus just the unfamiliar feeling had me popping up a bit, though not as dramatically as I used to while nervous at canter, so that was a lot better!

Our downwards transitions aren't as lovely as they were towards the end of the winter, when I had been the only one riding her for months, but it's not surprising now that she's back in regular lessons with multiple riders of different levels. They still feel pretty good though. I do have to work a little more at them than I had been though. By the end of the winter, it just took a slight stillness in my seat to immediately bring her down a gait.

On the topic of other riders on her... I actually got a really nice compliment from my coach. She said she wants me riding her as much as possible because I really help keep her tuned up, and she feels like she doesn't need to be putting tune-up rides on her herself with me riding her regularly. Apparently I've been really making her carry herself well and she's very happy with my progress and the horse's current fitness and responsiveness.

I also had a good conversation with her about me feeling like a bit of a mess on other horses. She says most of the "problems" I'm having are in my own head and coming from a lack of confidence, and that I need to trust myself more. And also be more forgiving of the fact that of COURSE every horse is going to feel different, and to allow myself the time to adjust and get comfortable. I'm going to do a lesson on a different "new" horse in the next couple of weeks, too, so we'll see how that pairing goes, too. In the meantime I think I'm going to try some visualization exercises I've been learning about, trying to retrain my brain and body to have more helpful responses when I do end up on a different horse. Will see how that goes.


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## SteadyOn

*The horses!*

I'm going to stop being quite so ambiguous about labeling some of these horses. I do live in a small community where everyone knows everyone, so for the sake of maintaining anonymity and speaking freely, I've avoided naming names or anything identifying in my posts. However, I'm going to assign names to some of the horses I ride so I don't have to phrase things as "the nice older warmblood horse that I ride the most often" or "the out-of-shape western horse I sometimes ride," etc., every single time I mention them.

So, a little glossary to help thing out a bit. 

*Elle*: a 16hh warmblood in her early 20s. She is owned by my coach. 95% of my riding and lessons take place on her. She's a European-bred ex-grand-prix-jumper who was re-trained for dressage after being imported to Canada. She's very well-trained, well-balanced, and almost frighteningly smart. She can do just about anything you ask her to, but you MUST ask correctly or she won't deliver. The ultimate schoolmaster. Beginners can plonk around on her easily and she's quite happy to go quietly and tune out all the "noise." But more advanced riders can ask for the moon and get it. I cantered a five-meter circle on her the other night and it was wonderful. Two and a half years ago I couldn't get her to stay in canter for even half a lap around the ring.

*Leroy*: a 17-year-old western horse who is mostly a pasture puff. He is a lovely ride, with smooth gaits, has a good brain, and while he can spook now and then he's generally quite a gentleman. Only canters on a left lead, though he gave me the right lead whenever I asked for it on exactly ONE magical ride, where he was basically Superman and did everything I asked, including some small jumps. He is currently VERY out of shape because he is technically the "hubby horse" and hubby never rides him. His owner lets me ride him for free, which I love, but I've been so bitten by the dressage bug lately that I've been neglecting him. He hasn't been ridden since the fall. :shock: So my next ride on him should be interesting!!!

*Bambi*: this little Pintarabian, owned by my coach, is well-trained and FUN, but I've only had two rides on her and she feels like nothing I've ever ridden before. (See previous entries where I am AT SEA on a different horse!!) I expect I'll have more rides and lessons on her as the season progresses. Hopefully we settle in to each other! I can ride her for free this year to help keep her in shape.

*Pecan*: a cute little paint with a hunter show background. Also owned by my coach. She is a point-and-shoot jumper, but lazy on the flat. I've ridden her only once, two and a half years ago. I have free unlimited rides on her this season if I can just find the time!!


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## SteadyOn

I have a few rides to catch up on here, but just wanted to quickly report that I had a non-lesson ride on my usual lesson horse tonight, Elle, and she spooked not once but twice late into the ride. I know some rabbits were hanging out in the grass by the arena. I didn't see them at the time, but I guess she did! Or something!

They weren't HUGE spooks but I felt that adrenaline surge in her body and she sort of half-shied and "zinged" forward in the trot we were in both times. I kept my seat completely, but most importantly, I kept my cool!!

Riding out spooks without freaking out is a big deal to me. As a "re-rider" I haven't had to deal with them much -- thankfully -- but as a result, even the very prospect of spooking has been building up in my brain as a BIG DEAL and a potential CATASTROPHE. Small to moderate spooks like these happening -- and doing nothing whatsoever to unseat me -- is actually amazing for my confidence right now! So between these and a spook on her last week during high winds, I'm feeling a lot better about my ability to cope.

Phewwwwwww!!!


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## SteadyOn

Ahhh, I've been delinquent! Work has been crazy, and life has been busy, and I haven't been keeping things up here. It's been too much time and too many rides to go into detail on all of them, so I'll summarize instead.

Two weeks ago: a windy, stormy, rainy-day ride on Elle, my usual lesson horse. She was unusually spooky, due to the system coming in, so I hopped off, lunged her, got back on and had a really nice ride despite crappy conditions. I rode her very collected, on a small circle, and we worked on many MANY transitions. At one point she gave me a not-intentionally-asked-for walk-to-collected-canter transition that was so delightful despite being unexpected that I laughed out loud. Lovely moment, lovely ride!

A week and a half ago: my best friend, whom I used to take lessons with in my teen riding years, came up to visit and we went for two lessons together. I watched her in a private lesson, during which she rode Elle. She did spectacularly! Lots of canter work, including flying changes and counter canter. There was visible improvement in her technique within just one lesson, which was super cool! She did brilliantly, and it was hard to believe it was her first time on that horse. It was great, too, to see a full lesson with someone else riding Elle. I rarely get to SEE her ridden -- just experience it -- so it was very cool to watch! I saddled up Bambi afterwards, but she was sore from a trim and I had to abort the lesson and put her away. The next day my friend and I shared a semi-private lesson. I rode Pecan, the cute little paint school-horse, who was quite pleasant for the most part, though I had to get much more aggressive than I would have liked to get a canter out of her. And I really didn't like her canter, though I remembered it as pretty smooth from the first time I rode her, two and a half years before. Also, she would fake me out to avoid the transition, rolling her shoulders in trot, instead. Strange but creative evasion!

A week-ish ago: a non-lesson ride on Elle, during which I was VERY stiff in canter, but I also had some nasty PMS going on and was about to suffer through several consecutive days of worse-than-usual symptoms and exhaustion, so that may have been a factor. Sitting trot was ON, though! So that was great. She did SPOOK twice at rabbits, but I actually sat both spooks just fine and did NOT panic. Which is HUGE for me, as I often spook worse than the horse!

Earlier this week: I had a lesson on Elle. I honestly can't remember exactly what we worked on. My week has been so crazy with work that my brain is not retaining a lot of short-term memory. :/ There were trot serpentines, flying changes in the canter, some shortening and lengthening. Canter to walk to canter transition on circles, changing directions and alternating leads. I was a bit stiff and sore still, but again, lady problems. :/ Definitely felt like I had lost some riding fitness lately. And she felt a bit less sensitive to seat aids, which isn't surprising as she has a lot more riders now that the lesson season is well under way. Had another nice compliment from my coach about how I do such a nice job tuning her up when I ride her.

Today: I went out this morning and did a non-lesson ride on Bambi. It was SO MUCH BETTER, even though I haven't tried her in weeks (other than that almost-lesson when she was too sore). My seat was better, my leg was better, I kept my stirrups. I started to get a feel for what her transitions and motion are like. Also, for which things are me having problems as a rider, and which things are her having schooling problems. I used bungee reins on her, which helped IMMENSELY with how much she likes to fling her head around. They weren't "holding" her in place by any means, but they did give her some consistent faux-contact that kept her nicely settled and let me worry less about CONSTANTLY adjusting my hands and reins. It was a really nice ride! I rode her until she was a nice, relaxed, pleasant type of tired. She had a workout, I had a workout, and it was a good note to end on. I actually felt less out of shape today, so it's possible my body really was just being awful to me over the previous week! Hooray!


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## SteadyOn

Oh, now I remember! We did a bunch of lateral work in trot in my recent lesson on Elle, too. Lots of leg yielding and shoulder-in. Finally getting the hang of them. Sort of. Except I was getting the hang of shoulder-in TOO much apparently because I was making the angle a little... toooo dramatic. Definitely four-tracking. Whoops. So we toned that down and the horse and I didn't work quite so hard! Reversing is getting better, too, and I'm starting to feel which leg to ask for based on how she's standing. Much smoother. Much straighter. Sweeet.


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## whisperbaby22

I'm glad you are doing so well.


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## SteadyOn

I went out for another ride on Elle the other morning. It was just a quick one as the horses were being moved that morning and I didn't want to hold anything up. So I made it count by doing lots and lots and LOTS and lots of transitions.

It was a decent ride but things weren't totally clicking as much as they were earlier in the year. She's gotten a lot heavier in the bridle again. This used to be a thing with her, but she got a LOT better over the winter as her fitness increased, and as I got a lot better adjusting her speed and motion with my seat. I was her only rider for most of six months, so I got a lot fitter too, and we got very synced up and I could get a downwards transition out of her just by a very slight blocking with the backs of my thighs. However, as she IS a school horse, with the spring and summer getting rolling she's had more riders on her and she's not as sensitive off the seat aids. A little disappointing, as they were like BUTTER there for a while, but she isn't my personal horse and she has a very important job to do! It's flattering to be the designated tune-up rider for her now, at least, so I'm taking the role seriously and it's good for me too. I've discovered that early morning rides are the perfect way to get around my stupidly busy schedule, so I should be able to get out there a lot more often now, and hopefully I can get back some of the riding fitness I've lost this year.

Maybe it's a weird thing to say, but it's almost.... a mark of progress that in some ways my riding is getting WORSE? Hear me out. Because I was SO rusty as a re-rider, when I started three years ago, my improvement has been very very steady. Sure, there's been some got-it-lost-it, but over all, better and better. The fact that I was riding better this spring, and am now not quite as good... shows that, perhaps, that initially HUGE learning/fitness curve isn't so steep at this point. And that the title of this blog is true: I'm not a "re-rider" anymore, but a fairly competent and reasonably fit *current* rider whose fitness and technique is going to have little ups and downs over time. There's a lot more to learn and I'm sure I'll keep improving year over year, but in some ways I feel like I've finally "arrived."


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## whisperbaby22

Well that's great. It's wonderful to feel so good riding.


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## SteadyOn

*A change of scenery*

Back on Tuesday, I spontaneously hit up a local friend, whom I do not see often enough at all anymore, and we went out for a mid-day trail ride on her lovely, bombproof little trail horses. She has lots of woods and trails on her property, and some nearby fields she has permission to cut through, too. It was a perfect sunny day, hot but not too hot, not too humid. She rode her little paint gelding who is an ex-reiner, and I rode the mare she bought a year and a bit ago, whom I've been dying to try out. This mare reminds me a lot of my old horse. Similar build -- not big, but long and low, and rides "bigger" than her size in a really nice way. Great personality in this horse and a very good brain. Nice movement, too, with a big step in her hind legs and a nice swing in her body. I suspected she'd be a joy to ride and she was even better than I had hoped!

Haha, if her horse goes missing, I'm sure I'll be the first door she'll come knocking on. :lol:

The trails were a bit challenging, with some steep parts and some downed trees across the trail in a LOT of places. The horses didn't care whatsoever, and stepped quietly over everything. Neither one put a foot wrong the entire time, and it was nice to just take deep breaths and RELAX on the trail! I normally ride English, but we had Western saddles on and I was glad we did. I probably could have stuck it all in an English saddle but having the high pommel in front was nice security on the downhill parts -- especially when the little mare decided that mid-way down a steep incline was a great time to suddenly drop her head and have a snack!!!

The horses got poked by a lot of branches and twigs, and at one point her horse got a huge stick stuck in his tail, flipping and dragging along behind him. Did. Not. Care. Just... wow!!! While the horses I ride in my lessons, and in the ring, are *pretty* good at keeping their cool, I can't imagine any of them having NO reaction to being scraped and jabbed by branches... or peacefully dragging a hunk of tree along!! She really does have lovely, solid horses, and I'm impressed and a bit jealous!

My body mostly handled the ride well despite not being used to the varied terrain anymore. The only thing that was bothering me was, when I first got on, the saddle did shift a bit to the left and even though I shifted it back and it *seemed* centred the whole ride, it's like my body wanted to keep trying to shift it back to the right anyhow, and my right leg got stiff and uncomfortable. This is occasionally a "thing" with me but it wasn't dramatic or anything. All in all I rode quite balanced and relaxed, and the whole thing just felt wonderful! Usually I'm at least a BIT nervous on the trail, especially on horses I don't know really well or in challenging brush like this, but I was fine. So nice to have a lot of my riding anxiety getting better.


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## SteadyOn

*Getting to know Bambi*

This morning I went out to ride, finally, after nearly a week off. Work was absolutely insane, and the massive wave of heat and humidity did not make riding an appealing prospect for man or beast. And even though it's a scorcher here still, this morning wasn't too bad so off I went.

Now, last night I had texted my coach about coming out this morning, and she told me Elle was already booked for some lessons today, so I should ride Bambi instead. Totally fine. I still want more miles on horses that I'm not as used to, and the more variety I'm getting, the less it's weirding me out when I do have to switch things up.

Got out there, my coach was gone for the morning so I grabbed Bambi from the VERY back of the field, dragged her into the barn with her sloooowwww-walking behind me, and tacked her up. Now, I noticed that Elle was in a stall for some reason even though most of the other horses were out. I thought that was weird but assumed there must be some reason, and I went ahead and tacked up.

Well, JUST as I was done and leading Bambi out, I noticed a note on the whiteboard saying things had changed and that I could ride Elle instead this morning, and that's why she was inside. You know -- to save me from having to go catch her from the back of the field. *MASSIVE FACEPALM* I didn't have time at that point to switch horses, as I had to get to work after my ride, so I went ahead and rode Bambi while Elle stewed in her stall, wondering what in the heck she was doing inside on a beautiful day. (Sorry Elle!)

I've been using bungee reins over the poll and through the bit on Bambi. MASSIVE improvement. I know some people don't like them as a training tool, but man oh man, what a different on this little mare. She has a short neck, high head, and will often dart and wing her head around all over the place when you ride her. It's almost impossible to keep a steady contact, and the more she moves around the worse it gets -- so then she moves MORE. Augh! With the bungee reins... peace and quiet. They provide a steady elastic contact, and as she can't evade it she doesn't try, and we're both MUCH happier. She goes rounded and quiet and stays focused.

We did lots of walk and trot transitions to get us both warmed up and paying attention. She was in a much better mood than the last time I rode her, when she was getting cranky and pinning her ears at time. She did have a little bit of muscle soreness (just normal "post-workout" soreness) the previous time and was not appreciating it when I sat the trot. Today, though, sitting her trot was lovely and she didn't seem to mind a bit.

Transitions today where better too, and she didn't try to reef on the reins coming back down out of canter. Not at all. So that was awesome. She has quite a SPROING going from walk to trot, that surprised me a few times today, but her trot to canter actually felt a lot smoother this time. Whether they were better today, or I'm just getting used to them, I'm not sure. Her canter was a lot easier to get and stay with today and quite pleasant. I'm still riding it in a half seat for the most part, but I did sit a little deeper with it at times today.

She has different sensitivity levels to certain aids, and I'm still getting used to that. When I'm turning and I lift my inside rein and push her ribs over with my inside leg to get bend, she'll actually move right over, so our turns were a bit more dramatic than necessary, hahaha, but it's nice that she was so responsive.

Another cool things today: got all the leads right! Her right lead can be tricky to get, but today, correct every time!

She did start to wing her head around at walk near the very end of the ride, I think as her way of saying "Okay I'm tired let's pack it in." I was mean and made her trot every time she did that. Would come back down when she relaxed. Then trot again the next time... Did this a LOT. Ugh. Eventually picked a nice quiet walk moment to hop off and call it a day.

Brought her back in, untacked her, and let her and poor impatient Elle back out for the day.


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## SteadyOn

*Temper temper*

Well, I guess not every ride is going to be sparkles and fairy dust.

This morning I rode Elle for the first time in over a week. There's still a pretty bad heatwave hanging around here, but I rode early enough that it was "normal" levels of summer heat, and had not yet become "constant dripping sweat and death" levels of heat and humidity.

I went into the ride with the intention of doing some no-stirrups work somewhere in the last half... but Elle went from her usually agreeable-ish self to a massive crankypants not quite half way through the ride. I don't know if she was tired, or having a problem with the heat, or if she was just having a "day." But she threw one of her favourite tantrums for most of the ride, which she hasn't done with me since last year! She leeeeeeeaaaannnns heavily on the bit, gets her weight down on the forehand, and BARGES around, strong and fast. Still more or less doing what you ask -- if you want trot, for examples, she BARGES AROUND in trot. If you want canter, she BARGES AROUND in a fast, heavy, choppy canter. Blows off any of the smaller leg aids and reins aids and you have no choice but to yank her back very impolitely.

There are ways to school her through this (or at least improve it) but I didn't push her too hard as it really was getting a lot hotter as we rode and, I suppose, she was allowed to have an opinion in those conditions. Plus we had a bit of a vicious cycle going in canter, where her angry, stiff, heavy, choppy canter was making me bounce in the saddle like a jackhammer, which surely made her canter actually worse. Blurgh. Needless to say, we at no point did any no-stirrups work.

I still enjoyed myself, and it was in many ways a good and productive ride... Even practiced some shoulder-in before she got _really_ mad... but poetry it most definitely was NOT! :shock:


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## SteadyOn

*A surprise two-horse evening*

I had a fun night last night, although my riding was really not where I wanted it to be.

Elle was booked for a lesson already, and was in fact being ridden when I got there, so I had a lesson on Bambi. I'm feeling a lot more comfortable on her for the most part.

However... I skipped dinner. I was held up trying to get there by, first, my partner leaving me with NO gas in the car and us having to scramble to put some in there using the gas cans normally reserved for our generator. Then I had to wait for a train. Then I got stuck behind a delivery truck that was doing 10-15 km below the speed limit (in an area where most people do 15-20 above). So, no time to eat or even stop for a quick drive-through bite somewhere. And I realized my entire diet that day, to that point, had consisted of 1/3 of a bag of fresh cherries, two portobello mushroom caps with cheese and pizza sauce, a few pieces of chocolate, and a lot of coffee. So, my car wasn't the only thing running on fumes by the time I got to my lesson.

We did some pretty straightforward WTC stuff and some trotting poles. Bambi is extremely nimble and even when I didn't set her up right for the poles, she still managed to pick and bounce her way across them, and make up for the direction she lacked from me.

Early in the lesson we did quite a bit of walk to canter transitions, most of which went pretty well. We got a lot more wrong leads than we did the other day -- the other day I think we got them all correct -- but it wasn't too bad. I find her a little too easy to catch in the mouth unfortunately, but in my defense she has a habit of catching herself in the mouth a lot, so sometimes it's hard to say who's at fault.

Once we started trying to integrate a stretch of canter on the loop back to the beginning of the trotting poles, however, things got VERY sloppy. She decided she'd had enough cantering and got stiff and resistant and did the "screw you" trot instead of giving me a canter transition, and I lost some confidence in asking for the transition which made things worse. Ugh. There was a lot of running around in a big mess and losing our steering and breaking out of canter. And wrong leads all over the place. Not pretty. The lesson ended a bit early because I think it was pretty obvious that Bambi and I were both frustrated and tired and there would be diminishing returns from that point on.

I hung out at the barn chatting with my coach and one of the boarders for about the next hour, then a student called to ask for an impromptu jumping lesson, so my coach's plan to ride her own horse weren't going to work out. Would I like to ride him instead, while she taught the lesson?

So, I did! I'd tried him twice before and was an absolute mess at the time. I hoped that this ride, after all the extra saddle time I'd put in over the winter, I'd be a lot more competent and confident. Welllllllllllll.... Walk and trot were fine. We had some abrupt unintentional downwards transitions as he tried to figure me out. My coach rides him 99% of the time so he's not exactly used to a change of rider. But we started to get a groove. And I didn't freak out when he got looky about stuff, which is big for me.

However...... cantering was a TOTAL bust. I think, at most, I got three consecutive strides before he would peter out again. His hip action in the canter was completely different than I'm used to, and I'm a bit embarrassed to say that I kept getting so unbalanced by the transition -- his big hip THROWING me out of the saddle and off-balance with the hind leg stepping under -- that just staying ON through it was a feat for me, never mind actually pushing him to STAY in it. I had actually cantered him a little bit in two lessons in the fall, but it was a pretty huge fail then too. Last night's was even worse.

By then, though, I was exhausted, STARRRRRVING, and my back was getting sore and tense, so it wasn't helping matters.

It's so odd. Some horses I have no problems in cantering in my first rides on them, while on others, it's like I'm riding a completely different animal. Some rides I feel like, yeahhhhh, I'm good at this! And other times I feel totally stunned by my lack of ability to do basic things. Siiiiiiiiiigghhhh.

It is what it is and I won't let it get me down -- riding is also about learning and improving -- but it's so strange, and so HARD, sometimes. I get to beating myself up for not being where I think I should be after three years back in the saddle. And sometimes I get better at something but there's this backsliding in my skills that'll happen and I'll lose it again. 

Oh well. I'll try to at least eat dinner first, next time!


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## SteadyOn

*Further cantering frustrations*

Last night I went out to ride a horse I was riding regularly two seasons ago. He's a nice slightly older gelding, built like a tank. His background is primarily Western, but he's kind of had a little bit of vaguely everything done with him.

That season, I rode him English. I'm more used to it, it's the tack I had, and he went much, much better in contact and on a direct rein, with a bit, and with me in my own saddle.

Last night's ride was my first ride on him since last year, and his owner had switched him back to western tack and a VERY loosely fitted hackamore.

Well, he hadn't been ridden, except for a couple quick bareback rides, since last year. He was a very good boy from a safety standpoint. Wasn't hot, didn't do anything wacky. But he kept pulling me towards the other horse, towards the gate, towards the corner, etc., and he's never been great off leg aids for turning. And he doesn't really neck rein. And the hackamore... well, it did pretty much nothing. So I was a passenger of his whims. 

I still managed to enjoy myself at walk, jog, and trot, but cantering with no steering and questionable brakes, in a saddle I wasn't used to and that was far too large in the seat, did not go well. A few strides of me getting thrown around all over while he careening in some random direction. Or, on my last try, him suddenly accelerating because I couldn't rate his speed at all with the reins. I couldn't slow him, just stop him because the hackamore was all-or-nothing. And its "all" wasn't much.

He's always been tricky to canter well, but after my major canter fail on my last ride, too, I'm worried I'm going to develop a complex. However. Tonight I have a lesson scheduled on Elle, I think, so that will hopefully help me check back in with myself. Hopefully she's in good form tonight!


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## SteadyOn

*When you screw up so badly, you come out the other side?*

So, tonight began by being hilariously... magical?

Earlier today I thought to myself, maybe I should text my coach and confirm that we're still on for tonight. And then I thought, nahhhhhhhh, I wrote it on the whiteboard right in front of her and I'm sure everything's fine or she would have told me. I'll just go.

So as I pull into the driveway after my 40 minute drive, I see that Elle is already tacked up and being ridden in a lesson by her other regular student. So, I'm immediately somewhat irritated because I thought I had booked her specifically for this ride. (I don't usually care if I ride someone else, but it had been a long time and we had specifically discussed reserving her for me for that lesson.) I shrug it off and figure something must have changed, and walk into the barn and see that I had actually booked her for myself for TOMORROW night. Oh boy. Shoulda sent that text. Oh well, I get my gear on and figure I'll go grab Bambi and just ride since I'm there anyhow.

I walk out of the barn and... am immediately handed Elle, fully tacked and warmed up ready to go. I WAS there on the wrong night, and the other woman had absolutely booked her lesson then... BUT at almost the exact time I pulled in, she was in the middle of deciding that her twisted ankle was too much and she was going to have to stop her lesson just 10 minutes in.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???

Best mistake ever or WHAT?

We worked on half halts and flexion. Unfortunately my reaction time is NOT great. So when my coach said outside rein, I was still shortening my reins. When she said inside rein, I was still just engaging the outside rein. When she said to back off the inside rein and straighten, I was still just starting to apply the inside rein. Oh boy. I am not exactly renowned for coordination or reaction time, but we sort of stumbled through it. We did start to get some roundness and flexion but Elle, who was already irritated because she thought her trip back to the barn to meet me was the end of her night, was NOT happy. Given her preference, she'd rather go around with her nose poked out as far as possible and your hands holding her head up for her. So she didn't appreciate the insistence on giving and softening. But we started to get moments of it, so that was a good feeling.

My sitting trot was decent though not quite as consistent as I like, but I was able to sit and follow quite well. My canter, however, was VERY stiff. Not surprising given the semi-humiliating canter fails in my last two rides. I was more or less expecting it. But I got the job done.

Funniest moment of the night: me saying "After last night, it's so nice to ride a horse with a good canter ag--!" and Elle IMMEDIATELY had a huge stumble.

Most unintentionally impressive moment of the night: Elle was getting annoyed and trying different evasions, and when I asked for a right-lead working canter on a right circle at one point... I got super collected left lead canter with a true right bend. "You just got THE hardest type of canter to get!!" LOL, go me?? :lol:

We talked about my stiffness. I wasn't able to sit the canter the nice way I had been in the winter, with loose hips and a following lower back. In fact, my lower back has been incredibly locked up lately, and seems to be getting worse every ride instead of better. So I brought up the fact that I hadn't actually done any no-stirrups work since April, and that I *had* been doing it almost every ride then, when my seat was so much deeper and better.

So this was the BEST part of the night. I crossed my stirrups in front of the pommel and did some sitting trot where Elle stretched down and lifted her back and we just CRUISED around the arena. She was super, super into it. I don't know what it is about my sitting trot when it clicks, but many of the horses I ride seem to love it and go into this awesome mode where they really click with me and seek contact and round themselves. Even when it was bad. Even when I felt like I was bouncing like crazy. I don't know what it is. Anyhow... I definitely was NOT bouncing like crazy. All the tension on my back and hips and thighs unlocked, and I think all that muscle memory from me practicing so much over the winter and spring just suddenly clicked right back on. IT. WAS. AWESOME. We moved up into working trot, and into medium trot, and I still stayed with it all and had no bounce and no balance problems. My coach was carefully watching me for tension and would call out whenever one or both of my lower legs started to tense or clench in any way, and I'd immediately stop the problem before it got worse.

After a few laps and serpentines of this, I went back to walk to cool out and the benefits were immediately obvious, as my back and hips were unconsciously moving and rolling to follow every step. And I felt SO GOOD.

So I know what's on the menu for me now: no stirrups trot work any time and every time I can fit it into a ride!!!


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## SteadyOn

Is anyone still reading? I do welcome discussion and input here too. :thumbsup:


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## whisperbaby22

Probably a lot of people just read journals. If you pose a question you will probably get some responses. I like reading these journals because it is a real portrait of what is going on, not some pie in the sky blather.


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## SteadyOn

*Getting "it" back*

After the other night's breakthrough with my return to relaxed no-stirrups work, I was eager to get back out for a ride on Elle while I was still feeling that high and relaxation again.

This morning was quiet and beautiful, with a bit of cloud cover and a slight breeze, so much better weather for exertion. Elle was extremely relaxed, and stood completely still to be brushed and tacked -- except when I got at those mosquito bites on her neck with the soft curry glove I was using. Then she made happy faces and stretched her head and neck out and leaned into the scratches. I was happy to find my rubber curry glove again. I greatly prefer them to a standard curry comb. I think they do a much better job, and give the horse more of a massage. Plus having just the thin rubber between my hand and her skin means I can feel every bump and have a much better sense of whether a problem or change has popped up somewhere.

I started the ride just doing a bit of flexion left and right at the walk. I did it a lot more soft and relaxed than I did in the lesson, but also found she was much more willing today anyhow, so I didn't need to be as firm about it.

On the drive out there this morning, I had turned the seat heat on high in my car, even though it's pretty hot here and my AC isn't working. Why? Because it did seem to help to warm up and loosen up my lower back, which has been VERY very tight and tense lately. Whether or not this was the reason I couldn't say for sure, but my canter was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better today. I felt softer in my back and legs and could follow along. I had been riding like that for ages before the last month or so. I think that switching around to different horses kind of got me off my game, even though I think it's been extremely beneficial for other reasons.

We worked on lots of transitions within the trot, randomly changing between BIIIIIIIIIIIG trot and little itty bitty trot without breaking gait. She did wonderfully. We also did lots of transitions in and out of canter on a circle, with a flying change to change direction and work the other side. She broke from canter into trot a couple of times on me when I didn't ask for it. However, I had been trying to collect her a bit so in a way I did sort of ask for it -- just not for that! We'll get it figured out.

I wound up the ride with a nice loooooonnnng session of no-stirrups trot. My initial sitting trot wasn't quite the magical, smooth-as-butter experience that it was the other night, but still felt pretty great. I did have to keep her to a slower trot, and my balance was a little wonky right off, but we both settled into it. I also did a couple bigs laps each way, including a couple times crossing the diagonal, in no-stirrups rising trot. Definitely going to be feeling the burn later!!

So nice to have my lower back finally unclenching. I definitely need to keep up the relaxed no-stirrups work. When I was doing it every ride this past winter, I don't think I realized just how much it was contributing to the rest of my riding. Well, now I know!!


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## SteadyOn

*Transitions, transitions... transitions!!!*

Today was a really nice, solo, relaxed ride. The sun was out but it wasn't too hot yet. No biting insects -- just the odd lazy fly hanging around. I put on bug spray as I tacked up, more out of habit than necessity. Elle stood very quietly, so relaxed her lower lip was dangling and she had floppy donkey ears. Once again, currying her neck got a big happy reaction as it scratched all her bug bites for her.

We had to go through some strands of temporary electric fencing to get out to the ring, and every time I stopped to undo a piece to get through, she took the opportunity to shamelessly snatch some bites of grass. More snatches of grass as I got things ready at the mounting block. She doesn't normally try for this, so I wasn't really on my game to stop her. It was sort of cute and funny as it was so out of character, really. And she just seemed so chill and happy that I was a bit indulgent about it, though I didn't let her grab and grass when it was time to DO something. Like, you know, actually get ON her. LOL.

I started by just walking her around with my feet out of the stirrups, swinging my legs a bit to loosen myself up. She perked up under saddle but was still a relaxed sort of "active" as we moved around. She seemed like she was just in a great mood the whole ride, which made me feel happy as well. I've been going early to ride lately, before work, and this was such a lovely start to my day. Life and work have been extremely stressful lately, so it was a much-needed cheer-up at the perfect time.

We moved from walk into a big rising trot on a fairly loose rein, letting her pick her pace and move without much interference from me. She was nice and forward and felt great. After warming up a bit this way we started on a lot of transitions. Rising trot, walk, sitting trot, walk, halt, back, etc., in a totally random order at random places. She was lighter in my hands today and also a bit better about doing downwards transitions from my thighs and seat. Still a long way from how responsive she was a few months ago, but again, she has more riders of different levels now so some loss of that kind of sensitivity isn't too surprising.

Canter was decent today. My seat wasn't as awesome as it was when I was riding 5 times a week, but it's still better than the jackhammering I was doing just over a week ago. Weirdly, I was better on the right lead and stiffer on the left lead. Normally I follow better to the left, so that was a change. Whatever. Bodies are weird. I'm just glad I'm getting softer with it again.

She was being so good and so pleasant that I did a bit of canter on a slightly longer rein. Hands low and wide and following softly. It was really nice. She gets so, so heavy in the bridle at times in the canter that I worry that I'm inadvertently relying on the pressure in the reins to keep my seat. Not what I want. So to be in the perfect kind of mood and relaxation to have a more relaxed contact was a very important opportunity on her. I'm happy to report that I kept my seat and balance juuuuust fine. I know myself well enough to know that I CAN do that, but due to bad experiences with horses taking off with me in the past, having a short and ready contact in the canter is like a security blanket for me a lot of the time. I still have a sensitive hand but I don't have a trusting hand, typically, so this was good mental as well as physical exercise.

I wound things up with even more no-stirrups work, again. Some rising trot for a lap or two both directions, then some sitting trot all over the place. I tried to do lots of little exercises to keep my brain distracted so my body had to relax. We did a tight four-loop serpentine that only went as far as centre line, a couple of times. Some loop-backs. Some changes across the half-diagonal. Etc. Once I felt nice and in sync with the motion we stayed on the rail, I loosened the reins a little and let her stretch while I concentrated on reeeeally opening my hips and lifting the front of my pelvic bone with my lower abs.

I got this absolutely wonderful sensation of my thighs hanging down in this extremely open way, like they were these huge weights that were holding me on and pulling me down either side of the horse, like they were so heavy and so secure that I couldn't possibly ever tip off. But not in a locked up way -- I was really moving with the motion. And Elle was moving into that openness, her trot getting bigger and more forward and I actually had to get a little LESS open a few times to slow her down. It was a really awesome feeling, one of the best I've felt in any sitting trot. Relaxed but strong. Really grooving along together. Love those times in riding where something really clicks and you can be fully present and revel in the moment. 

Who would have known even a year ago that sitting trot with no stirrups would become one of my favourite and most transcendental parts of my riding??? :shock:


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## SteadyOn

*So I watched some video...*

I haven't ridden since last Thursday. When I did, I dragged my partner out and had him shoot some video for me. I hadn't seen much video of myself, except for the odd short clip, in about a year, so it was nice to see some really comprehensive video of my lesson.

What I liked:

-Lower leg is steady and strong, with the right amount of give and motion, and my toes are at good angle. Turned out a natural amount but definitely not duck feet. Given that I used to ride off the back of my leg with toes out almost completely sideways, things have definitely improved!!

-Geez I've gained muscle! Before I started riding again three years ago, I had gone through major stress from a move and starting a new business, and in that process I lost a ton of fitness and gained about 20 lbs, a lot of which was just belly and hip flab. While the number on the scale hasn't actually changed, my shape certainly has. I have way less paunch and I'm thicker in the major muscle groups. I didn't even know it was happening! Although the gaping waistband on my jeans today should be a clue.

-My back and core are visibly stronger. While I'd like to be following the motion even better than I am currently, it's obvious that I've gained a lot more strength in these areas and, while the motion could be more fluid, I'm definitely capable of holding and carrying myself instead of being smacked on the butt by the saddle while I thump around in trot and especially canter.

-My heels are naturally deep, but maybe even..... tooooo deep? I'm in a dressage saddle now but I've got some hunterish heels happening. I don't feel like I'm bracing into my stirrups. They don't feel too short. And my ankle flexion is really good with the motion dropping down the back of my leg when I rise in trot, drop in canter, etc. So... maybe that's just what works for me? I do have BIG feet so maybe the angle looks more dramatic because of that. :razz:

-For the most part I look pretty straight and symmetrical, aside from a few things I'll mention below.

What I didn't like:

-Ugh, my hands are bobbing a LOT more than I would like. I worked on it for a while and it got better, but I've been less attentive about it lately because I took it for granted that they were better now. Sigh. Back to working on that now, I guess.

-I still have a tendency to tip forward in my transitions, at times. Depends how distracted and/or tense I am at a given time. Again, the old hunter brain is kicking in, I think, and it's like I want to get into a forward seat whenever it's "action" time. Not so useful when the "action" is a seated collected canter.

-My left elbow likes to show off. It's like "Hey, look at me! Here I am! I'm an elbow!!!" My right elbow prefers subtlety and stays nice and close to my side.

-My shoulders are *pretty* good, and not rounding forward, but I could really stand to lift my chest more and that would improve my upper body carriage in several ways.

-At times I'm dropping my left hip more than my right hip when I should be straight and level. By way of some kind of diagonal compensation, my right shoulder wants to push out to the right. This is not ideal. It's not DRAMATIC, but I should be balancing, not counterbalancing with my upper body as ballast.

So, for tonight's lesson, I'm going to try to remember tooooo...

-Lower, steadier hands!
-Flex my left elbow BACK, not out
-Try to notice if I'm bearing down on my left hip and pushing my right shoulder out to compensate. Try to do a bit of the opposite to correct it and then find centre.
-LIFT MY CHEST!
-And sit up straight and further back during transitions.

Because THAT'S all totally doable in ONE ride. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

:clap:


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## SteadyOn

Wow, that was a WEIRD lesson, but a productive one.

We did all walk trot and worked on getting flexion from Elle and getting her in front of my leg. Her chiropractor has prescribed flexion and softening to deal with muscle stiffness in her neck, so like it or not it's for her own good. She's in absolutely wonderful physical shape right now and has made steady improvements over the eight months or so. Even though she's now approaching senior status she's practically aging in reverse!

However, she has a tendency to lock her neck up and brace against the bit and will fight her rider rather than give. Hence the "physio". So, last night's lesson was a schooling one...

Lots of half halts, flexion of her neck and poll, anything to get her to soften even a little. The more I asked, the more she would lock up and refuse to move forward. She's often ridden in mild spurs by her regular, advanced riders, but I hadn't had a pair of spurs on since I was 13. Well! My coach popped some on me to see if that would help keep her impulsion up, if necessary, while we worked on her front end... but I was so nervous about accidentally poking her that I kept my leg too much off of her. So, opposite of the desired effect...

My coach hopped on for a few minutes instead and had her flexing and moving forward almost immediately. That's why she's the one in charge, haha. She did say it was NOT easy, though, and Elle looked pretty unimpressed even though she actually did everything she was asking. She did settle into it after a few minutes. When I hopped back on I tried some side to side flexion of her neck and poll at a standstill and she gave quite easily. After that the ride was MUCH more productive.

It's hard to develop feel for something you've never had to do before, but I started to get the hang of timing things to ask for flexion on the sit of the trot, while also using my inside leg and seatbone to encourage her to bend and fill out the outside rein. I'm not sure which one of us actually worked harder. 

However, the feeling when it all clicked was very rewarding. She was very forward and felt powerful without feeling at all like she was running off. Every part of my body felt engaged and so did hers. Looking forward to this process feeling better and easier as we both improve at it!! I expect I'm going to feel quite sore very soon...


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## SteadyOn

Yesterday I had a morning ride on Bambi, and today I had a morning ride on Elle.

When I arrived yesterday morning I started walking toward the barn, heard angry yelling from the back of the field, and suddenly seven horses were running past me, loose, towards the barn. Seems Bambi crashed through the electric while my coach was trying to adjust the fence and took the whole field with her. So we had some "fun" rounding them all up. No one got hurt. Just a bit of distraction and frustration! Sort of nice, in a way, to see that that kind of chaos happens to even experienced people!

Bambi was great. I hadn't ridden her in a while but really enjoyed myself on her. Now that I've discovered how much better she goes in bungee reins -- even loosely adjusted -- it's much easier to manage her high-head-short-neck combo. She stays consistent instead of winging her head around all over, even though the bungee reins are barely engaged.

There was a beginner lesson going on in the ring at the same time, but it was mostly walk and mostly on a lunge or a lead, so it was easy to stay out of the way and just kind of cruise around. Lots and lots of trot, circles, changes of direction. I'm still getting used to how she feels, and her transitions. Some of the transitions are really big and springy, and she has a tendency to throw her head and crash into my hands so that's something I've got to prepare for. I'm good about not catching horses in the mouth, but it's harder when the horse seems to want to catch themselves in the mouth!

Cantering went a lot better. I was able to sit more deeply and follow more softy. I thought about pushing my knees down and back a bit, which helped to keep my legs from creeping forward and also helped me keep my stirrups! I also thought about doing less with my upper body. That was one thing that really stuck out on the video from my lesson last week: a lot of my stiffness and tipping forward in the canter seems to come from too much activity in my upper body. Like I'm trying to keep the canter by pumping up there or something weird. I'd been trying to fix things lower down as I assumed that was the source of the problem but... nope. So I thought about being upright and more still above the waist, and riding the canter with my seat and lower body instead. It helped a LOT.

Towards the end she got tired but I pushed her through some of it as we are trying to get her fitter. I just pushed her in posting and sitting trot and did some serpentines and circles to get her moving and bending. I'm actually finding her quite pleasant to ride now that I know her better.

She does, however, start throwing her head around at the very end of the ride when she has decided she is DONE DONE DONE. I've dealt with that in the last two rides by pushing her into trot as soon as she does it and then letting her walk as soon as she's quiet about it, but she was much more insistent with it this ride and at one point I felt like there was a chance she was going to start giving me little rears in front. She didn't, but I also chose my moments in pushing the issue and feel like I found the right timing to not reward that behaviour but also not escalate things. I've never heard of her rearing (and it wouldn't have been a dramatic one if she had) but I generally trust my instincts on this stuff.

One super awesome thing from the ride: she did not cough, not even once!! She's been struggling with a terrible cough since coming back from a lease where the hay was bad, but it seems she's maybe finally really over it!! Yay!!

It's late here so I'll update on the Elle ride tomorrow. It was nice though!


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## SteadyOn

I've had three more rides since the one I last wrote about. Work has been very time-and-energy consuming lately so I haven't had the opportunity to sit down and write about any of it. Technically I shouldn't be doing this right now, either, but so it goes. Sometimes you just have to do a thing anyhow. :/ 

Ride One:

Last Tuesday I rode Elle, in not-a-lesson. For the first time ever she decided to be hard to catch. I had a feeling she was dreading the flexion work we've been putting her through lately so I decided to be easier on her and compromise. I rode her in a set of bungee reins, not set very tight at all but just enough to encourage her to come a bit rounder than she does without. The ride was good and I really worked on myself, based on some of the things in the video that I wanted to correct. I was very happy to find my "seat brakes" again. There was this muscle group I had managed to isolate this winter, that formed sort of a V-shape in the bottoms/backs of my thighs/seat. If I think of stilling it and pressing down a little I get a nice, quick but subtle downwards transition on her. It's pretty cool. But either it stopped working on her or stopped working in me for a while, because it was the first time that was being effective since the winter.

I also thought more about keeping my knees down and back, though it wasn't as big a difference as I had felt on Bambi.

I kept my upper body more still in canter, again, and thought more about my seat and the backs of my thighs doing the work of balancing and supporting me. When I can keep my upper body from getting too involved, I sit the canter better. It's like everything above the waist wants to "pump" in time with the canter. And it looks a bit silly and is totally ineffective. So. Definitely worked on that.

I also did some sitting trot where I practiced what I called the "elbow dance." My sitting trot work is improving a lot but my hands, elbows and shoulders get too tense and my hands want to come up and bounce. So by keeping my hands a bit low and wide, and thinking of doing small rhythmic movements of my elbows in time to the trot it relaxed my arms and my hands stopped wanting to bounce around. Better!! Also, I like how silly the idea of doing an "elbow dance" sounds, so I'll definitely remember that one.

Ride Two:

The other night I had a lesson on Bambi. We worked on getting her more forward. Because she's long-legged and short-backed, and only about 15hh, she FEELS like she's really moving out quickly even when she's not. I was suprised just how big and forward her trot needed to be to get her tracking up. I also had to work hard to get a right bend in her, as that's her stiffer side for sure. She's blind in her right eye, so I think she tends to favour looking to her left which might contribute to that crookedness. She does listen to inside leg though, so it was effective once I got it together.

I'm still perching in canter on her, more than my coach would like, so she had me do... wait for it... canter with no stirrups! On this horse I still barely know! Aughhh!! She told me, "You're a better rider than you think you are, and *I* know you'll be completely fine! I am not worried one bit." So that was a nice compliment, and I did some transitions in and out of canter on a circle to the left (my good side and the horse's good side) and was pleasantly surprised by how good my seat was. It felt really cool, and I did follow better with the motion. I could feel all the muscles in my seat and the backs of my thighs contracting and adjusting to balance and rebalance myself, and I felt very supported and secure. It's amazing how much more strength and feel I've developed in my seat since even last fall! Very very cool!

We then switched to the right lead, on a right circle, and things were... less golden. Hahahaha. As soon as we got into canter she started THROWING her head around and her back end kind of dropped a bit and I went "AAAUUGGHHH!!" and immediately pulled her back out of it, and asked my coach "WHAT was THAT??" She had mercy and let me take my stirrups back for that direction. LOL. Unfortunately, even though I sat that weirdness well, it did make me tense up so I was back to perching and feeling stiff. Ugh. So she just had me get into canter and STAY in canter, and work on getting that right bend and not letting her fall into the circle. Since my body was REALLY wanting to be in a two point instead of trying to follow, I decided to just mentally work with that and pretend we were riding a cross country course towards a big jump, to keep the focus and momentum going. We did at least five laps of a large circle without breaking, so that was better. But I still didn't really SIT the way I should have. Baby steps though... And cantering the one way without stirrups on her was a BIG step!!!

Ride Three:

...will be in the next entry! It was today and it was fun!


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## SteadyOn

I had two rides on Elle that I haven't written about yet. They were actually pretty similar and sort of blurred together so I won't get into a ton of detail about them.

The ride I had on the weekend was nice but kind of pokey. It's good to see her relaxed into her work again though, instead of hating it because we're being "mean" about the flexion. She's starting to lose some of the bracing in her neck, so that's a good sign for everyone. When I tested her lateral flexion before and after the ride, she came into it more easily, though she was resistant the first couple times and locked up for a while before softening to the side and getting her release. It was much better at the end of the ride, presumably because everything was warmed up by then. I had her in the bungee reins for this ride, and while, back in the winter, she seemed locked against them and miserable and like they were the meanest things in the world -- grinding teeth, swishing tail, no impulsion -- they now seemed very loose (despite being the exact same reins, exact same length) and she hardly seemed to notice them. She's definitely starting to soften, thank goodness, and get better strength and flexibility.

In that ride I did a lot of sitting trot without stirrups. Something about this seems to put her into this super-relaxed (but still forward) state with her head down, neck rounded, eyes half-closed, almost like she gets some kind of endorphin release from it. It's strange but... flattering? Unfortunately I think she went a little TOO Zen at one point because she tripped HARD coming back onto the rail from a circle and I was just relieved that she didn't do a faceplant. We recovered fine but I threw in some more transitions to wake her up again!!

I even cantered a circle each way, no stirrups, as I hadn't done that on her since December, I don't think. It was fine, thankfully!! Reminded me that I need to weight my inside seat bone more on a right lead, though. My torso and hips sometimes seems to want to counterbalance each other diagonally, when I don't have stirrups, instead of staying in a good vertical alignment. A good thing to recognize and work on.

Yesterday's ride was pretty similar. Elle was actually happy to see me and came up to me in the field, so I think she's forgiven me for the difficult flexion work from before. During the ride, there was a hose running across the ring for some reason and I couldn't do anything about it once I got out there, so we had to navigate carefully and daintily over that, but it was pretty flush with the ground (but very visible!) so not particularly worrisome. It was also raining, so I skipped things like the bungee reins and anything else that would require more time before I hopped into the tack. (Didn't want to get the saddle soaked before I even got up there.) Flexion and softness were MUCH better today and I was able to get her to soften her neck and come into the bridle without an argument.

On the theme of bending and flexion, there were some markers set up in the ring to create a false "wall" where the edge of a regulation dressage ring would be. They were equal distances from each other and made perfect "cones" to bend around. So we did some weaving through those at sitting trot. My sitting trot with stirrups is much better and more relaxed when I'm distracted, so it was good for me to give my brain something to do, and good for her to work on getting her big body to noodle between them.

I also did them at a canter with flying changes, but did every other marker as they were pretty close. The flying changes are getting a lot better. One major thing that helped me was reading, somewhere, that the flying change should actually be treated as asking for a new canter transition. So, I guess, a canter-to-canter transition? Anyhow, it was the thing that I needed to hear to make it work. My coach has never put it to me that way because I think, for her, she breaks it down into the individual cues in sequence. I was putting them together too slowly, though, so the other phrasing is better for me.

I also did some posting and sitting trot without stirrups, and a couple of laps of canter each way. My canter had some bounce to the right that I couldn't eliminate, but my hips and upper body were in better alignment. I think my hands were steadier, over all, in these two rides, too.


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## SteadyOn

Good ride this morning!

It's rather nice, looking back at most of my recent entries, to see that that's how I've been feeling about them for the most part. 

I had my choice of horses this morning but decided to stick with Elle for now. While I feel I *should* be working on getting used to the others -- and I think it IS good for me to get comfortable with change -- I've been wanting to tweak and fine tune some stuff with my body, my tension levels, and the balance and straightness in my hips. Elle is, as horses go, one of the most balanced and straight that I've ever ridden. So when I want to work on getting *myself* more even, she seems like the right choice.

My sitting trot with stirrups was a bit of a mess today. Bouncing more than I should, stirrups clattering around. Ooof. I have good days and bad days. I remembered to do my little "elbow dance" to keep the tension out of my arms and keep my hands from bouncing. It's hard to focus on fixing more than one thing at a time, sooooo... Yeah.

Canter wasn't as stiff or bouncy today. I do need to get my hands back down, though. It used to be that I was riding with my hands too LOW, so getting me to raise my hands a bit in canter was something we worked on, but now I've taken it too far! Whoops. I'm also trying to get the rhythm right in when/how much to follow. I think maybe... steadier in the outside rein but a bit more give in the inside during the "down" portion of the stride? I've gotta revisit that in a lesson. It's interesting trying to time different aids with different points in the movement. It's a more specific level of training than I've ever had, and requires more timing and feel than I've ever had.

See that blog title there? I think I finally have eclipsed my "rider" status from my teens. I'm no longer "just" an adult re-rider -- though it's certainly not a label I've ever worn with shame. But I have better feel, better coaching, better lots of things now. And while my late-30s body is nowhere near as quick to adapt as my teen body was, in some ways the slower progression has been good because I've put a lot of thought and study and determination into it, instead of just doing the thing with no real understanding of the function or the reason or the variables.

I'm still a wuss about jumping though, and avoid it like the plague, except for a few times a year when I feel "crazy" enough to canter a single cross-rail or two-footer a couple of times. In my teens I DID jump, up to 3' at one point, but even when I was competent at it, it still gave me the heebie jeebies. I wouldn't be surprised though if my jumping were technically better now because I've put so much work into balance and strengthening on the flat. Who knows! Not in a hurry to find out though. Blahhh.

Anyhow, back to the ride itself. I did a bit more "pole-bending" through the arena markers at the trot. Did some big and small swoopy canter arcs around the ring, asking for flying changes. The canter-to-new-canter transition idea continued to work well for actually getting the changes more or less when I actually asked for them.

I'm still not getting that nice, melty feeling of really following the canter well and smoothly, that I was getting back in the winter. This whole got-it-lost-it thing with riding is... interesting. I try not to let myself get frustrated and just enjoy the little wins when they happen.

At one point we did a little loop in canter, zig-zagging in off the track and back onto it, slightly, but keeping the same lead. On the right lead it went really well. On the left lead... uhhhh. We moved badly off the rail, switched leads to the right trying to get back on the rail, than half-switched back to a left lead but crossfiring in the back, while cantering too fast, before she corrected herself. Hahahaha oh dear. My fault, I'm sure, as this is NOT something we've practiced and I have NOT done much counter canter work. And the little I've done has not been particularly successful.

We did some shoulder-in at trot. It was more of a neck-in because we hadn't practiced in a while and I kept forgetting to use my outside leg.

Finished up with no-stirrups work. Big laps of rising trot. I find if I post the trot without stirrups for long enough to tire myself out, I'm nice and relaxed for the sitting trot work because I'm too tired to get tense. Hahahahahahaha. Whatever works, right??

After the trot work we did not one but TWO big circles, each way, of no-stirrups canter. I instinctively wanted to wimp out after the first circle because I didn't feel *perfectly* balanced but I knew I was being oversensitive to it and needed to push through it and I'd be fine. And I was. I even survived some rushed big jarring trot when she was tired and fell out of canter a couple of times. I'm a bit bouncier than I'd like in the canter, even without stirrups, but it just needs lotssssss of practice.

Anyhow, it was really nice and I feel really good! Looking forward to my next lesson so that I can check in with all the work Elle and I have been doing.


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## SteadyOn

*A terrible no good very bad day...*

I had a lesson tonight. I also had one on Saturday that I haven't written about yet.

Saturday was supposed to be on Elle. When I got there my coach told me she was going in to the house to eat something, and I should tack up and just text her when I was ready. I caught Elle, brought her in and started to get her brushed... and she started curling her lip. At first, cute and funny, but she kept doing it and I remembered from the winter that this was a symptom of tummy troubles with her. Well, crap. I looked her over and noticed all her veins were popped up on her skin, like she'd been working out, even though she'd just been standing in the field. More lip curling. I offered her a handful of hay. Nope. Hmmm. Led her outside in case there really WAS something funny-smelling in the barn. But the lip curling continued, her eyes looked kind of glazed, and she had zero interest in grass, and she was just shuffling along hanging her head.

Of course, my phone chose this time to not connect whatsoever with my coach's phone. We waited a bit, paced around in the driveway, and finally I walked up to the house, and tried to streeeeeetch with Elle standing at the top of a set of concrete stairs while I leeeeaaaned over to knock on the door. Juuuust reached!

My coach came out and checked her over. Good gut sounds, not dehydrated and not acting like she was actually colicking, but she agreed that she definitely seemed a bit off. Elle got something for her tummy pain and a stall and some water, and I got Bambi and tacked her up instead. (Elle was herself again by morning, happy to report.)

The ride itself was pretty unremarkable. Mostly because I was very tired from being at a concert the night before and wasn't really as on my game as I could or should have been. We worked on flexion and bend, keeping her straight on the rail while bending her to the inside, straight, to the outside, straight, inside again, etc., right through her body while keeping her moving in a straight line. The canter was a bit wonky as she started out stiff in one hock, but she warmed out of it fine and the ride went ahead pretty well. I was still bracing in the canter but not as badly as I had been on the previous ride.

So, tonight....

I was in a bad mood all day. It's peak period time and my body and my emotions were not being kind to me. But I rallied and headed out to my lesson, looking forward to getting to go ahead and ride Elle, and just work on myself, feeling good on the horse I'm comfortable on. Wellllll... not meant to be. When I got there, Elle was already being ridden in a lesson and had worked up quite a sweat. Maaaannnn. I hadn't specifically asked to ride her, but I thought I would be okay as the other student doesn't normally ride her this night of the week. So I got Bambi and was just in a FOUL mood as I got ready. I wasn't blaming anyone. Obviously something had changed on the schedule and of course riding Bambi was completely reasonable. But my mood wasn't reasonable.

To make matters worse, Bambi would NOT get out of my space while I tried to get her ready. The more pressure I put on her hip or her quarters to move her over, the harder she would lean into it -- and she started squatting and squirting. Not only was she unwilling to get out of my space, but me shoving her was TURNING her ON!! Augh! I finally had to get a crop and give her several hard cracks to get her to stop being a creepy weirdo and MOVE. Which she did, without really batting an eye. Apparently in her current state four hard snaps with the leather end of a crop constituted a fair and polite request.

She also puffed up so much that the girth that normally goes up four holes per side would barely do up on the first hole. All the while... in squirting stance. Thanks Bambi.

By the time I got out to the ring I felt like even one wrong WORD from anyone was going to make me burst into tears. I'm normally a pretty positive, level-headed person at the barn, but... Bambi and I were apparently both wildly hormonal (though manifesting in VERY different ways) and I was worried the lesson would be a trainwreck.

BUT!!!! Plot twist!!!!!

The lesson was AWESOME! Apparently being in a super cranky mood turned me into some kind of super-rider. My right leg was initially cramping and being a bit weird but once we were a bit warmed up, everything was ON! I was totally focused, I was in a put-up-with-NO-BS mood, and rode Bambi FORWARD and put up with neither her crap nor mine. We trotted and cantered around tonight like we had PLACES TO BE. It was SO GOOD! And being so determined, suddenly none of my physical hang-ups had any of my attention whatsoever. I just did what I needed to do and my idiosyncrasies, tensions and tics just melted away. And so did most of hers. I didn't CARE if she wanted to toss her head. Or trip on her own feet. Or look at this or that. We needed to GO GO GO because I was cranky, dammit, and we were GOING!!

The results: no bounce or bracing in my body in the canter. No unintentional two-point or half seat. No hesitation, no weirdness picking up one lead. No nothing. I followed well with a deep seat, even in a forward canter. And while we still had some minor steering issues (she doesn't like to come off the rail to circle to the right) it was nothing like the problems I was having on her before.

So apparently the secret into turning Bambi into Superhorse and me into Super-rider is to be in a godawful verge-of-tears mood when I mount up. Hahahahaha. Or more realistically, I need to be more assertive and really take command and ride FORWARD.

One of the coolest things? She actually RELAXED the most she ever has when I've ridden her, and we rode several big laps and loops of forward, stretchy trot with her head DOWN. This horse is normally a short-necked giraffe so according to my coach this was a rare treat indeed! And flattering that she decided to give me that.

All in all, it was actually a much better and more productive lesson than the one I thought I was going to have! And one I really needed, as I've been getting a bit worried that I was only a good rider on Elle but not on other horses. But we nailed it tonight! Woohoooooo!


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## whisperbaby22

Good for you. The way we ride has so much to do with how the horse reacts. Sometimes I have to ride like the posse is after me to get that forward feeling.


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## DanteDressageNerd

That is a fantastic lesson, sometimes being a little mad works better with horses that need a very assertive energy and presence to try. Guess Bambi got the message that you weren't fooling around and didn't find her antics amusing, time to get serious. I'm glad your day ended on a positive note


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## SteadyOn

*Feldenkrais and phlegm*

I've recently discovered that the USDF has a podcast, and while I was worried it would just be stuff about the competitive dressage world (which I find interesting to a point, but I'd rather get practical tips), it turns out to have some good, useful stuff in there.

Yesterday I listened to an episode with two interviews. One was with a Feldenkrais instructor, and the other with a hypnotherapist. Now, I've heard of Feldenkrais just once before. A friend who had gone through musical theatre school lamented her obligatory Feldenkrais movement class. "It's the stupidest thing. You just lie on a mat in the dark for like an hour and you REALLY SLOWLY move one muscle at a time over and over again." Which did, indeed, make it sound like the stupidest thing ever.

However, the instructor on the podcast put it much differently and better. The idea behind really focusing and isolating one single muscle and movement is to really FEEL it and how it affects everything connected to it. The idea being to retrain your muscle memory so each individual muscle is moving with as much ease -- as in relaxation and efficiency -- as possible. In the podcast, he instructed the listener to sit balanced in a chair, and really feel the neutral seat. Then to close your eyes and just slowly lift the heel of the left foot off the ground. Feel whether it lifted easily and smoothly, or with tension. Feel how it affected the lower leg, then the knee, then the thigh, then the hip, then the pelvis. And continue to slowly lift and lower it and try to do it in a smooth, relaxed way.

It was actually really COOL! Even just that ONE simple movement, I initially did in a tense and slightly jerky way, and by focusing on it and trying it again slowly several times, I was able to take the tension out of the movement and do it smoothly and well. The instructor said to just LEAVE IT there, not try to do the same thing on the other side, but to just let the brain work with that new information. The idea is, apparently, to encourage a natural "curiosity" in the body/brain connection to develop more positive muscle memory. 

The second part of the podcast dealt with focusing less on what's WRONG with our riding and to mentally and physically explore the positives. Cool! The two halves of the podcast were actually really well paired. I went into today's ride really relaxed but focused on trying to find and explore the GOOD in my riding.

I rode Elle today -- woohooo! First time in a while -- and it was just a ride, not a lesson. Felt really good being back on her. My mindset helped a lot. I wasn't carrying tension in my body today and I was able to sit trot well right up to about a medium trot. I was amazed at how much my whole body was MOVING with her. I felt like I was doing a hula to keep my hips swinging and my elbows loose and let everything follow, but it did follow! My canter seat was nice and soft and sticky today, too. No brace, no bounce. Awesome!

Except for this ONE THING...

COUGH-TRIP-FART!!! The first one caught me so off guard that I got yanked forward hard in the saddle and thought I was going to take a tumble. We both recovered (thank you core strength) but... yikes. Elle hadn't had a coughing fit during a ride in MONTHS. Typically she gets the coughs out of her system in the first few minutes of canter and then is good to go for the rest of the ride, so I pushed on, but... Nope. Coughing in canter, coughing a bit even in trot. She was trying hard to frame up for me and step under but as soon as we'd get it together for a bit, COUGH-TRIP-FART. Poor kid. She was a bit stumbly in trot, too, and swapped leads in the back a few times in canter, I think because she was so distracted trying to keep her coughs in. So I gave up, pretty quickly, trying to do anything that required her to hold herself together, and we zipped around in some big, loose, long-rein trot for a while to help shake up the goo in her lungs. Poor kid!!!

After the ride she was yawning and I could see the globs of phlegm in her mouth. A few times a year she gets bad environmental allergies and I guess they're back. She'll be okay again soon, but not very fun for her in the meantime.

The podcast information was really cool to apply during the ride, though. I picked a few moments to think about just a particular small muscle and feel what it was doing in the rhythm of the ride, and I tried to focus on what was working WELL and really delve into that feeling. When I wasn't being almost hauled out of the saddle it worked really well.  So much for it being "the stupidest thing ever." Totally going to look into it more and see how I can apply it further!


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## SteadyOn

Not much to report lately. I'm in some horse withdrawal as I haven't ridden since last week. Lousy weather, two of the main horses being away at a client's place for a few weeks, and Elle's dance card being very full, as a result, on the few days when it hasn't been pouring rain and/or the arena hasn't been a muddy pond from all the rain... 

Even a year ago, going a week or more without a ride wouldn't have seemed like much but now that I'm used to riding about three times a week I'm getting irritable and depressed about the gap. My brain is trying to do absurd mathematical computations on how I could possibly afford to own my own horse to avoid this kind of situation. And realizing that a) I have waaaay too much debt to pay off first, and b) this "situation" is completely temporary and it's hardly worth buying a horse to avoid occasional inconvenience when I normally have THREE great horses to ride -- two for free and one for a really fair price -- and don't even have enough time as it is to take advantage of the situation.

Yet, I do fantasize about it. I got a bit spoiled with having exclusive access to one horse all winter. It reminded me what it's like to be the only one riding a particular horse and how finely tuned and subtle the aids could get when the horses weren't getting conflicting information from multiple riders. I had the seat aids on her, for downwards transitions, super tuned. I could just flex my seat muscles a certain way and get a downwards transition immediately. It was awesome. But when she started back into lessons with multiple students that went away.

With the last horse I owned, I got her so tuned to me that we could do all kinds of things. I could steer just by the weight in my seat. I could lay down poles in complex little back-through mazes and we nailed them. We mastered going through gates and all kinds of fun things. I feel like I'm at a place with my riding where I really could make the most of having one totally dedicated horse of my own.

I have sort of had it in the back of my head that I would seriously consider buying my own horse once Elle is retired, whenever that comes about. Hopefully it's a ways off, for many reasons of course, but also because my money situation needs to improve pretty drastically before that's an option. In the meantime, though, I've sort of been kicking myself as this perfect-for-me seeming pony came up in a sales group last fall and I feel like I could have done so much with him if the timing had been right. However, NOPE, definitely not the right time. And I know my riding has been benefitting from changing horses a bit lately but... There are good and bad points to either situation, so I've been doing my best to make the most of what works NOW.

Still. I am in withdrawal... Stupid rain.


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## whisperbaby22

I understand what you are going through, riding is addictive.


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## SteadyOn

*The saga of the 25-year-old bridle*

When I owned horses, the only time in my life, I was a tween, then early teen, and I paid about 90% of it out of my pocket. I had a paper route. I later worked after hours cleaning, 12 hours a week on top of school, drama club, choir, riding, etc., to pay for everything for my horse. Every gift of cash, every cent, with very few exceptions went into paying for my horse's board and equipment. My parents paid for my lessons, which was good of them because they probably kept me alive.

I owned two horses -- consecutively, not concurrently. I bought as much of my tack as I could used, on sale, or cheaply. So when horse #2 seemed to be between sizes in every bridle I tried on her, I called around. She was an Arabian cross so I thought maybe one of those elusive "Arabian" sized bridles might fit her. This was before the internet really took off, so I started calling tack shops from the classifieds of a horse newsletter I was signed up for. Finally found a place that said "We don't have Arabian size, but the Jeffries bridles fit small, so that might work for you." Well, I just about died when I heard the CRAZY EXPENSIVE price of $125. This was in 1993 so that actually was expensive at the time. But, if it would finally actually FIT... Well...

I bought it, and when it showed up it was *gorgeous*. It was just a simple round-raised snaffle bridle, but the leather was soft and dark and rich. The reverse was finished so beautifully that it almost looked like the surface of the leather. The raised noseband and throatlack had a beautiful lighter cherry colour to them. It smelled amaaaaazing. And at the time, Jeffries tack was still made in the UK.

I used it as her regular bridle for a few months, but when I found a cheapy soft nylon Western headstall that fit her, I took the nice bridle home and reserved it for use as a show bridle. As we rarely showed, it didn't see much use. After just one year of owning this horse, she went lame with arthritis so that was the end of showing. The beautiful "expensive" bridle hung at home in my closet. Eventually I gave the horse away to a retirement home with her old family.

I never owned again, and the bridle stayed in the closet. About once a year, I'd pull it out and give it a good cleaning and conditioning.

Then I moved out of my parents' house and the bridle sat untouched in the back of a closet for 12 years.

When I started riding again, my parents said, "Hey, you still have that bridle. You might want it back." And do you know, it still looked immaculate? Was it dry? Oh yes, but it was just *thirsty* dry, not brittle dry, and a good deep cleaning and conditioning had it feeling and looking like new.

I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but at some point I decided this bridle was IMPORTANT, and that I needed to hang onto it and use it on whatever horse I buy next. When/if I do. Even if I have to have the size altered to make it work. It became an important symbol to me.

So over the last three years, I've been more on top of cleaning and conditioning it. Now, at one point last year, I found that one of the conditioners I'd used had left a bit of a waxy finish, so on the recommendation of someone at a tack store, I used Leather CPR on it instead. It looked GREAT, but only weeks later did I learn that the stuff is a total mold magnet. I used the bridle once on a horse at my barn when there was a bit of a tack shortage, and I left the bridle hanging there in the tack locker for a couple of weeks as I kept forgetting to bring it home and didn't think there was a rush to do so.

Well. It turned FUZZY AND GREEN. So moldy it was actually FURRY on the reins and part of the throatlatch, and in a few other random places.

After a wee panic attack, I shoved it in a plastic bag and brought it home. It languished for about a week in a plastic bag before I braved pulling it out and doing anything with it. (I was in denial about it and assumed it was done for.) The mould had dried up a bit and started to turn black.

Knowing that sunlight kills mold, and that this bridle had so far proven to be indestructible, I tossed it out on my back porch and just left it there. For two weeks. Sun, rain, sun, rain... The rain washed the worst of the mold away, and the sunlight killed the rest. In the end it looked like it needed a good cleaning and conditioning, but otherwise was in surprisingly good shape. The reins, which had suffered the most, I gave a very quick soak in water that had just a little bit of white vinegar in it. Not enough to break down the leather, and not in for long, but enough to hopefully destroy any stubborn spores. The bridle I just hung up on a peg for a couple of months and didn't touch.

Eventually I gave the bridle and reins a good cleaning with saddle soap, and treated them with Leather Therapy conditioner which is supposed to inhibit and prevent mold growth. After that, I oiled the bridle until it was so saturated it couldn't take anymore. It's currently hanging on my wall and feels buttery soft and looks like I bought it LAST WEEK. Not 25 years ago. The reins still need another oiling but, aside from a little but of a rough texture on the reverse side, just in the parts where the mold was the worst, they feel like new.

In summary: really really good tack made with QUALITY leather was worth the whole whopping $125. :lol: And it awaits, in immaculate condition, the purchase of my next horse. Hopefully that won't take another 25 years.


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## SteadyOn

Well, my withdrawal continues. It has now been... a week and a day since I last rode. Heavens!!!!

The two lesson horses are still away, and while Elle IS at my coach's barn, she did something to her leg this week and apparently it swelled right up. Nothing crazy but she needs a break. So, I wait...

Seriously considering driving two hours -- each way! -- just to get to a lesson in my hometown this coming week, just to get a ride in and get some outside feedback. Might even jump if I do that!! Whaaaaat?! I haven't jumped anything in about a year, so that would be... interesting. My seat and legs are a lot stronger now, so even though I haven't practiced jumping, I have a feeling I'd still see improvement.

Oh, and I suppose I should visit my family WHILE I'm there, hahahahaha. IF I'm crazy enough to actually make that trip. :/

And to think I only rode four times my whole first winter after I came "back" to riding.


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## whisperbaby22

Love your story about the bridle, and yes, we all have to stay off when the horse is lame.


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## SteadyOn

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh FINALLY!!!

It's amazing how, at this point, a week and a half off now feels like FOR. EV. ER.

Not only did I finally get to ride again tonight, I got to ride A) on Elle, and B) in a lesson, so that's both my boxes checked.

Between the other two lesson horses being away, the rain being seemingly interminable, and Elle's leg suddenly swelling up with some mystery injury at some point last week, the last week and a half had been a write-off as far as my riding was concerned.

However, the stars finally aligned again tonight and I got to ride Elle and have my lesson. 

The previously swollen leg had been back to normal for a few days now and I think I was her first ride since the mystery incident. She was completely sound and even throughout the ride, and showed no swelling or soreness during or after, so whatever happened seems to have... un-happened. Phew!

Tonight we did an exercise involving shoulder in, leading into a turn where we pivoted on the forehand and moved the haunches out to turn through a pair of tight pylons, then changed directions and repeated the pattern. It went pretty well in walk and trot, though she definitely had a good way and a bad way (which got drastically better when I actually remembered to change my whip hand). After the exercise in trot, I opened her up into a big swinging trot on the rail, and she felt really supple and light -- which was one of the goals of the exercise, so that was great.

When we tried the pattern in canter -- without the shoulder in and turn on the forehand, but just trying to get through the turn and the little gap in the pylons after the circle -- it started out badly because my coach didn't give me any notice, and instead of turning a fairly sharp left to enter the pattern, I, uhhhhhh.... did a lead change and a sharp... right? And then went large??? When in doubt do the opposite but do it with panache! I guess. :shrug:

After that we did fine on the pattern. Canter through the turn and between the pylons, canter to walk transition, walk to canter transition on the opposite lead and repeat through the pylons at the opposite end.

It was mostly good, but with the significant exception that I wanted to really lean forward through those tight turns. I think sometimes my old hunter/jumper brain kicks in and assumes that every stressful, new, or challenging situation is basically a jump and I should fold into a forward seat. Noooottttt so helpful in dressage-based work. On the turns where my coach yelled "SIT UP STRAAAAIGHT!!" it was great, so I definitely need to work on cancelling out that old impulse.

We ended by cruising around in a sitting trot, doing some serpentines and circles on a pretty haphazard way, chatting about whatever while I did so to help me relax into the sitting trot. My sitting trot is so much better when I'm distracted!!

After the lesson I got the excellent news that I'll have full use of Elle again this winter, as we'll be "borrowing" a stable with an indoor arena again over the winter months and I'll be able to ride for free in exchange for labour. My coach is excited for how much progress I'll be able to make this winter, and so am I! Last winter, the ability to squeeze in multiple short rides every week did an amazing job getting me fit, and an amazing job getting Elle fit. Will be interesting to see what the accelerated learning will do for me -- and for Elle -- this time!


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## SteadyOn

I've had three rides since I last updated. All of them have been on Elle, which has been great! Two were rides on my own, and tonight's was a lesson.

The first of these rides wasn't the best. I wasn't totally on my game, and Elle felt stiff and like she wasn't in the mood to do much -- likely as a result. She has some mild age-related arthritis, which we manage with a very low-dose medication, and gearing her workouts appropriately. Over all she's sound and athletic and willing, but still, she has her days.

It was pretty obvious that it wasn't a good day to do much canter work, so I focused on doing biiiig, forward, loose stretchy trot -- which she absolutely LOVES -- to really get her moving and loosen her up. This was all going very nicely until she decided one corner of the ring was something to be spooky about. Very out of character for her, but there have been feral domestic rabbits hanging out all over the property lately (seemingly free-ranging from the neighbour's house). It wasn't enough to unseat me but it did put an end to the loose rein work with the nice stretch over the back, haha. After a couple more laps of trot, I cooled her out by doing big relaxed walk circles in the "spooky" corner. I also dismounted close to it (though not so close that she was likely to spooky while I was trying to swing down) so that her worked stopped there.

The next ride she was much more herself again. She did give me one BIG surprise cough that nearly yanked me out of my seat but other than that the ride was uneventful (in a good way!). Her seasonal allergies are acting up right now, so those sudden coughs are a good test of the core muscles. Hooooo boy. Her movement was much better over all, though, and her stiffness was mostly gone. I didn't push the canter work, and did just one flying change each way to see how she felt. Those were still pretty stiff. So mostly we worked on transitions on large circles, and transitions within the trot. Again, finished things with a big forward long-rein stretchy trot, and she moved wonderfully through that.

Tonight's lesson was good. We worked mostly on me, trying to get me to tweak some things, and use my lower ab muscles more throughout everything, especially in the rising trot. I rode some VERY big sitting trot, with a focus on trying to get my hips to really MOVE MOVE MOVE. I was exaggeratedly letting them swing and drop with the motion. And of course, it's turns out that the "exaggerated" movement is actually the movement I NEED. It's always so hard to combat the instinct to want to be STILL but I'm getting the hang of it!

My coach noticed -- and I've noticed recently -- that my right hip isn't wanting to drop as much as my left. So I need to work on loosening that up. I was trying to do a little extra with it during that exercise to help it loosen up. A couple of weeks ago, the imbalance in my hips REALLY came to my notice when I was doing a circle to the right in canter. My left hip was carrying too much weight and the motion was chucking me to the outside. Apparently this hip thing is a relatively new thing, and may actually be a good sign in a way because my hips have generally been opening and changing again, so this "bad" thing is happening because other "good" things are happening.

We also did some trot pole work and it was really, really nice and rhythmic and forward. Felt great.

Cool things from the lesson tonight:
-My coach was impressed with how quiet my leg has become
-My sitting trot (hip thing aside) has drastically improved
-My hands are getting generally steadier
-We rode some great shoulder-in in trot, and now that it's better it is also SO MUCH easier than it seemed when I first tried it last December!
-And...

My coach also asked if I would be interested in showing next summer! I was a little more jealous than I think I let on to myself, this season, that another student was showing Elle, but it sounds like I'll maybe have the opportunity to do so next year. (For the record, the rational part of my brain was happy for the other student, truly, and I know I have no actual "claim" on this horse -- in case I sound entitled at all. I know that riding her is a privilege and one I am very grateful for.) Even if it ends up being Bambi that I show instead, or something, it's nice to be approached about it. I don't know if everyone thinks of showing this way -- but I think maybe they should, because it IS an honour to represent your coach by showing for their stable. So. Definitely flattering! Came away feeling good.

Three years into my re-riding journey... There have been hiccups, but there are always are. With everything. Over all, it's been GREAT this year and I can't believe how much everything has progressed. The work is showing!


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## SteadyOn

*2.2 rides*

Been meaning to update a little more "in real time" than this, but it's been a busy busy week so some recapping will have to do!

I rode Friday morning and it was a good day. The stiffness in Elle had gotten much better and she felt more like her normal self. I warmed up with a bit of flexion to each side, having her walk forward but alternating the flexion in her neck and the bend through her body. After a thorough warm-up in trot and canter, I decided to try a training level test and see how that went.

I did Training Level test A, which we've never practiced. Some of our shapes got a bit, uhhhh, creative, as there was a line of jumps down one side of the ring. So one our our 20m circles was more of a 15, and the other was a 10x20m doughnut. Whatchagonnado right? I felt pretty happy with it over all, but I'm sure I'd have a different opinion actually WATCHING it. Some of our transitions could have been more prompt. Some were TOO prompt. I should have/could have had her more forward. I'm guilty of letting her plonk along a bit too much, but I DO like the rides to be relaxing for us both, at least at times! Maybe not while riding a test, though. :/ 

Our halts also had a LOT of room for improvement. She's always been a tough one to try get a clean halt. She does a rolling stop instead. You can slow her indefinitely, but it's extremely difficult to stop a creeping forward momentum in her body. I've schooled this in different ways, including running her almost into a wall (though not running her FAST, don't worry) so she HAD to put the brakes on. Or halting her from trot and immediately doing a rein-back. Over and over. It will get temporarily better but she always defaults to the creeeeeeping forward.

After one time through the test I immediately moved on to some no stirrups work. My hips are getting better, but they're still not as open and limber as they were at the end of all my super intensive winter riding. So I'm working on that. One of the exercises that helped the most was to end every ride with a few laps of no-stirrups rising trot each direction, until I was really feeling the burn and getting tired, and then switching to no-stirrups sitting trot. This method tricks my body into being INCREDIBLY RELIEVED that it gets to sit instead of rise, and I get all soft and relaxed and follow really well. It was a great way to teach my body the muscle memory and motion without it fighting me. My sitting trot got miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiles better over the winter. And even though some things seem to have been in a bit of a back-slide over the summer, my sitting trot has still gotten consistently better (though of course with some hiccups).

One problem I've been noticing lately is that my right hip wants to be higher and tighter than my left. Ugh. At least in the past, my tension and weakness has been relatively balanced and evenly distributed!! LOL. So now I'm trying to really think about letting that hip have some extra drop and swing. Once I'm more fit and limber again in the no stirrups work, I'll add in more no stirrups canter, as its especially apparent then! If I don't keep that hip lowered on a right lead canter, the motion wants to chuck me to the outside!!

My next ride was on Monday night. Elle felt GREAT, and I felt pretty good myself. (Weird side note: whenever I'm having my period and my body feels AWFUL with it, I ride exceptionally well. It's like the cramps and swelling have my muscles really warmed up already? I don't know. It's a strange phenomenon but I'll take it as one of the only upsides to feeling that terrible!)

The ride was similar in that I did some flexion work. I also added in quite a bit of shoulder-in in each direction. Lots of transitions. She was very attentive and waiting for my aids, which was lovely. I got some really nice collected canter on a circle, and got some clean canter-to-walk transitions. (Some less clean ones too, about 50/50.) I rode some 15m loopy turns in canter, with flying changes when I asked for them. They were really nice, and the best ones on her in a while!

I did even more no stirrups rising trot and no stirrups sitting trot. My hips were a lot more balanced this ride! Good! I also noticed that my hands were REALLY nice and low and stable in the no stirrups rising trot. At the beginning, anyhow. I could tell I was getting tired when my hands wanted to come up and bounce a bit. It gets so much harder to keep it together when you're tiring out!

After the lesson I turned Elle back out, and then just stood in the field with the group of horses and watched them. Elle stood around picking her dinner out of her teeth with her tongue, her head down, eyes half-closed, and her ears flopping like a donkey's. The other horses each came up to me one by one to sniff me and say hello. Elle did too, though she and one of the others had a little passive aggressive fight for space. I did lots of petting and scratching until it started to get dark, and until my hands started to turn black!

Tuesday night I was supposed to have a lesson. I drove out and got Elle tacked up and headed out to the ring. Immediately something was weird because she started snorting and blowing while standing at the mounting block. There are rabbits all over the property there, so that was a possibility, but I'd never seen quite THIS reaction. I waited it out until her nostrils stopped twitching and she was herself again, and hopped on. She was immediately locked up in the neck though, giraffing a bit, ears STRAIGHT ahead no matter what I did to try to get her attention. Yaaaaaayyyyy, express train to spooksville!! I did lots of bending and slight shoulder-in at the walk to get her brain back on me. She went around with her tongue lolling out once side of her mouth, though, which she hadn't done in months and only seems to do when she's stressed or not feeling well.

My coach came out after a few minutes of this, and asked me to pick up the trot. I hadn't even made it half way around before she said "Oh boy, I'm sorry, you're not going to like me." Elle was noticeably off at the trot. Did just a few strides of canter just to isolate the problem and then put her away again and called off the lesson. And it was already starting to get too dark to tack up a different horse. 

Apparently one of the other horses in the same field cut herself, and another one did something to her leg that made it swell all the way up to her stifles. So there must have been some *drama* in the field and Elle must have tweaked something while charging around. It's happened before and will probably happen again. Horses!!! Other than that non-ride, though, it's been a good week, and hopefully she's back to herself again!


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## whisperbaby22

That is what we have to do as riders, sometimes we just have to put the horse first. Hopefully she will be back to normal next lesson.


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## SteadyOn

whisperbaby22 said:


> That is what we have to do as riders, sometimes we just have to put the horse first. Hopefully she will be back to normal next lesson.


Definitely! Horse's welfare always comes first.


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## SteadyOn

The drive out to the barn this morning was especially pretty. There was pink sunrise light hitting low-lying clouds that looked almost like smoke. Fog was lying over the lakes and marshes. When I parked at the barn and stepped out of the car, the grass was all tinged with frost.

The horses are starting to get a just that first bit of extra fuzz in their coat. They feel velvety now. The summer hairs haven't really started to let go yet, but that'll be the next thing.

This morning I rode Elle, who had apparently recovered fully and quickly from whatever was making her feel a bit off last week. She was cold when I got there, shivering a little while she ate her breakfast (the BO didn't anticipate it getting THAT cold overnight and hadn't blanketed her) so we took our warm-up very slowly. Once she got moving she felt great. The cold air always seems to make them go a little higher-headed, ears pricked straighter ahead -- which isn't the most relaxing feeling. But she was really good. A bit wiggly in trot and I had to manage her more than I'm used to. However, her canter was LOVELY today. Collected and light. My hands barely had to move to follow. 

She goes better to the right, and I go better to the left. So in a way we're well matched because I follow best while working her "bad" direction, and she goes best in the direction that I need to strengthen and open up. I was pretty stiff today -- the sudden colder temperatures likely contributing at least a bit! -- and there was a noticeable difference in my cantering left (seat following it super easily!) and my cantering right (bouncing a bit in my seat, right leg and hip not wanting to drop enough). To the right I had to think about letting the hip and heel drop, and also keeping my hands lower, a bit wider, and steadier.

Flying changes were... middling. I've had better on her and I've definitely had worse. Just did a couple to try them on again, as we hadn't done them in a while.

I also tried something new for the first time: bit of shoulder-in at the canter! It's been working really well at trot, but I'd just never tried it and didn't even know if she would do it. But she did! And she did it pretty well both directions, too. Niiiiiice! I only did a few strides along the short wall as I didn't know how it would go and didn't want to push it. Pretty cool though!!!

Finished up with some no-stirrups rising trot and some no-stirrups sitting trot. My hips finally opened in the sitting part, in a way that they hadn't in a while. I got that sense of the front of my pelvis lifting, and my thighs dropping down and back. I got a very forward trot, too! There was a bit more concussion in my seat bones than I'd like, but it wasn't too bad, and that should improve with tweaking how I use my seat muscles to move more and to cushion a bit without also bracing. Didn't pay much attention to my hands, honestly, but I don't think they were coming up too much or bouncing a whole lot. It's a work in progress!

Definitely had a decent workout, at least, because I am ALREADY sore!


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## SteadyOn

This morning I rode for the first time since Sunday. I actually had a birthday in between the two rides. I try to ALWAYS get a ride in on my birthday, but alas, it poured rain and was grey and dark and bleak on the actual day, so I didn't get my annual birthday ride in after all. Boo. :/

Today made up for it though! It was one of those rides where you get a lot accomplished, assume you've been riding forEVER, and then look at the time and it's only been half an hour. This has actually started happening a lot with me: now that I'm doing more canter work and lateral work it feels like I'm doing ALL THE THINGS over this extended period of time, but really it's just extremely concentrated.

However, I'd rather put in a short ride that's GOOD and productive, and then end things on a positive note. This past winter a lot of my rides on Elle were only 20 minutes! And they still were enough to get her into fantastic shape, and drastically improve my seat and my strength.

It actually did drizzle a little while I rode Elle today, but not enough to be much of a problem. I did WTC with lots of curving and circling around. Serpentines, circles, big sort of random arcs. Transitions in and out of canter today felt better. I wasn't overdoing things with my upper body. It tends to want to pump, especially on that first stride or two. It's like I want to "shove" her into canter. And while it IS somewhat effective it's not really *good* riding, especially for dressage. So today I worked on just sitting tall, asking with my seat, outside leg, and inside rein cues, and tapping her if she ignored me. MUCH better. I didn't notice as dramatic a difference in body between riding right lead vs. left lead. So that was good! My hip "thing" seems to come and go to some degree.

In fact, my canter seat was feeling good enough today that I decided to be bold and do the last two thirds of my ride with *no stirrups*! After a big four loop serpentine of sitting trot, I did a lap and a few circles of canter each way. My stiffness/weakness on the right lead was a bit more pronounced this way, but that's a good thing I think because it means I'm working it. Over all it still felt dramatically better than it has in a while, and I felt secure enough that I rode a three-loops canter serpentine up and down the arena. I did some simple changes and two or three flying changes in the process. Wheeee! It all felt great and at no point did I feel dramatically unbalanced or insecure.

My brain of course wanted to throw doubt and fear on the situation, to some extent. My mental What-If Engine is a powerful one. Today I shut it up by telling it, "Hey, if something DOES happen, it's not going to be my STIRRUPS that will keep me in the saddle anyhow!!" and that worked like a charm!

At one point my coach walked by while she was bringing hay out. She couldn't see my lower legs and said "Hey your canter is looking really good today!" and I was like "Hey guess what I HAVE NO STIRRUPS!" 

After the canter work I did some lengthening and shortening in trot along the rail. I was better able to control that "concussive" feeling that I was having in my seat the other day. By playing with how much or how little I let my hips drop, and how much or how little I tucked my pelvis, etc. There are places that are bad, good, better, best, worse, not as good, nope, as I shift things around to try to find that "sweet spot." I have moments where it's great and moments where I lose it. Whatever I was doing today felt more stable without also feeling like I was blocking anything. When we did some really forward, big trot, I had my knees right off to open my seat and still felt quite secure.

All the no stirrups work was DEFINITELY working my thighs and my core more than they're used to, though, so I suspect I'll be feeling that for a couple of days at least.

So, back to that thing about how if something happened while I had no stirrups, my stirrups wouldn't be what saved me? LOL. All the trot and canter work was fabulous and Elle went ahead like a steam engine, staying right on track. It was COOLING OUT, on a loose rein and still with no stirrups, when she did one of those squat-in-front-and-startle spooks out of nowhere. Darn rabbits! And lo and behold... my seat did not budge. I did not panic. Everything was completely fine!

Ride aside, another interesting development today: my coach said she wanted to run an idea by me. One of her students who is getting older now and having some health problems is thinking of stepping away from riding, and wants to give her horse away to a good home in the spring. My coach asked, if she were to take him, would I be interested in riding him next season? It's an interesting proposal. This horse is much, um, quirkier than Elle, (a PRE rather than a warmblood, just for a bit of context, but also just a lot of personality) but talented and well-trained. I don't know him well at all, but his current owner has only fallen off him once in the last four years. He acts out a little at time, but nothing dirty except that he'll very occasionally kick out with a hind leg while ridden if he gets frustrated. I figure I can probably sit that, but will it mess with my head, I wonder? My confidence has been hard to regain and I don't want to lose my progress in that regard. However, being slightly tested and knowing I can handle myself has actually HELPED my confidence. So there's that. If I'm not interested, or if she doesn't end up with him, I can keep going on Elle. However. Elle IS getting older and while I hope she has many good years left ahead of her, anything could happen at any time. And while she is still fully sound and capable, her dance card gets pretty full. There are no other horses with comparable training and skill there, and passing on this other horse might be a major missed opportunity. It's a bit of a tricky situation because I don't think she'll take him if she doesn't have a rider for him next season, but I don't want to commit to riding him and then discover that I'm totally incompatible with him. Hmmmmmmmmmm.


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## whisperbaby22

I'd ask to ride him a few times, this is a tricky situation, but worth looking into.


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## SteadyOn

whisperbaby22 said:


> I'd ask to ride him a few times, this is a tricky situation, but worth looking into.


That would be ideal, and I really wish I could! The problem, though, is that he's being kept really far away over the winter, and whether or not his owner brings him back here will be dependent on whether or not my coach decides to take him. Difficult to decide on, for sure!


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## SteadyOn

I hadn't ridden in almost two weeks, as the weather here has been wet and cold and awful. I had a lesson scheduled for last Wednesday, and while it didn't rain that day, the arena was apparently soup, so that was a no-go.

Yesterday I went out, thinking things would be better as it had been much drier for a couple of days. Welllll... sort of? One side of the ring was a giant, mucky puddle, but the rest was fine.

The fields, however, were another story. Ankle-deep mud EVERYWHERE, and I was wearing my paddock boots because I hadn't thought that through. Oops. To add to complications, I couldn't find Elle's bridle -- plus she was way out in the back field in no-go territory for me, and I was told she was "in a mood" that morning, to boot. So I grabbed Bambi, who was in a small, relatively dry paddock near the barn. Score! I hadn't ridden her in nearly two months, so I figured I was due. Riding her is.. humbling. She's so completely different from Elle in every way that my form wants to totally fall apart. So it's good for me to change things up sometimes. I'll have Elle all winter again, so might as well squeeze in some practice on the other kids!

I had almost just turned around and gone home when I saw how miserable and wet everything was when I got there, but as usual, once I was riding I was glad I hadn't.

Bambi didn't want to stand still for mounting. She was immediately angered by the bungee reins (which she is used to, and I had them set VERY loose) and fought them a lot throughout the ride. Why ride in them? Bambi has an extremely short neck and a high head and will head-toss VERY dramatically at times, especially when she gets tired or disagrees with something. As irritated as she is by them, she's ten times worse without them. A standing martingale doesn't help much as it's more a problem of her evading contact. With the bungee reins, they maintain a contact even when she wings her head around. Which is what she doesn't like, but it IS what she needs. Her neck is so short that she can get away from contact no matter how well you use your hands. It's not a pain thing, but a habit thing. She hasn't been used much lately, and needs schooling.

I had lengthened my stirrups from the previous rider, but hadn't put them down far enough. I managed to get them down two more holes once I was up, which was still much too short for me, but I decided to just go with it instead of trying to multitask to adjust them on her while she was being fussy. Oh boy. I've been riding in a dressage saddle, with a long leg, all year. Switching to a too-short stirrup in a jumping saddle was... owwwwww. My whole right leg, from the hip down, spent the entire ride quietly screaming in protest. It also REALLY wanted to creep forward on me in left-lead canter, which is a problem that used to be a constant when I started riding again, but now just comes and goes.

This ride was DEFINITELY not the amazing ride I had on her the previous time, when I was in a foul mood and the energy somehow made her step-to nearly perfectly. It was still one of my better ones, though, despite the aforementioned issues. I think I was probably tippy, probably crooked, but I got the job done. My transitions into canter were more of a run than a "pop" unfortunately, and I didn't feel stable enough in my jockey stirrups to back my leg up with the whip, as I find I get flung behind the motion at times even when I'm sitting her really well. I only almost lost a stirrup in canter once -- certainly better than the EVERY TIME I would lose them in my first ride on her! She got her leads every time, though, and didn't fall out of canter very much.

Her head tossing got to a point of ridiculousness about 2/3 of the way through the ride. I had her on a trot serpentine and it was like she was listening to death metal only she could hear. I initially tried putting more leg on and more or less ignoring her head -- just working on getting FORWARD -- and when that didn't do a blessed thing, I took the reins up really short and got her head in and kept her there and PUSHED. 

Well! Remember how Bambi goes better when you're mad? Getting firm and getting her onto the bit got rid of 80% of the head tossing, and while she initially slowed down and resisted it, she started to snort and drop her head into the contact. Snort and stretch, snort and stretch, letting out the mental and physical tension, and started moving forward and more freely into the contact.

Eventually she went back to some head tossing -- which seems inevitable towards the end of her ride -- but still, it was very eye-opening to see how much that helped. Sometimes I'm too soft. Which is better than being too hard, generally, but I could stand to step it up more at times. A good lesson from that ride (even though it wasn't a "lesson").

Other good things about the ride: my steering of her -- even when her head was all over the place -- was actually really precise! I'm not even sure how, but it was. The serpentines where nice and sharp and my circles, which I could see in the wet ground, were astonishingly round. That felt good.


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## lostastirrup

Following. 


Every now and again I've read bits and pieces of this journal, and i really enjoy it.

Keep it up. Sounds like you've got a nice pile of horses to ride.


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## SteadyOn

lostastirrup said:


> Following.
> 
> 
> Every now and again I've read bits and pieces of this journal, and i really enjoy it.
> 
> Keep it up. Sounds like you've got a nice pile of horses to ride.


Thanks, I really appreciate it! Been trying to find a balance between documenting all the small changes in my riding for my own records, and trying to keep it interesting for anyone reading. Glad you're enjoying it!

Yeah, I'm very lucky! My riding instructor is really keen on making sure I get a lot of saddle time so that I'm progressing outside of lessons too. Which is really wonderful! I've currently got three horses to choose from, though I'm mostly riding Elle or Bambi. (The third one does not have much a of a "go" button.  )


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## SteadyOn

*A mini year-in-review while I have nothing else to do! *

Twiddling my thumbs here. We have had a horribly cold, gray, rainy fall. The fields are mud, the arena is soup, the wind is up, the horses haven't been ridden enough and would probably be bouncing around the arena if I did have the footing to go out to ride. I haven't ridden since my last post nearly two weeks ago.

Things WERE going so well! I'm really hoping I don't lose too much fitness during this time off. I have big plans for my riding and developing my seat, especially over the winter while we're back at the little private barn with the indoor. I am (or was?) finally at a place where I was feeling confident enough in my canter work to do most of what I normally do -- without my stirrups. The prospect of putting in the time to really develop all those little micro balancing reactions of my seat muscles was exciting. But... no beautiful fall weather to be had here. No sunny just-barely-sweater-weather days. No riding around with the bright colourful leaves as my backdrop. No beautiful fall hacking. Just grayness, darkness, and too much rain and mud.

The horses probably won't be moved to the indoor arena now until after the Royal Agricultural Winter Fair, so we're looking at mid-November. Elle's other main rider has taken October off, so by the time Elle and I get up there, we'll have some catching up to do! I'm just hoping we get some dry stretches between now and then. I don't mind the cold, I don't even mind a somewhat fresh horse, but the possibility of slipping in the muck is too much. Even wading out to catch the horses is a misery.

However, that said, I feel like I'm going in to this winter with so much more knowledge, confidence, and experience than last year. When we moved the horses last fall, I was still shaken a bit by a very spooky day on Elle where she behaved in a really out of character way and I was worried I was going to take a spill. I didn't, but with that experience fresh in my mind, and the move having rattled the horses a LOT, I was worried she might do something explosive while I was riding her alone up there -- even though in two years of riding, at that point, she'd had ONE bad day and I'd been able to sit it. The incident aside, I was just generally not very confident. Even just cantering small amounts was making me nervous. My seat wasn't as strong, I hadn't had the hours in the saddle that I've had now, and I hadn't really been tested.

This year I've gone through a lot more. It was both confidence-building and humbling. While I didn't have the magically open hips all season that the sheer volume of riding had given me over the winter, I did start getting bolder. It was gradual, but I stopped spooking "for the horse" when things looked like they COULD cause a reaction. (I also survived that fun but hair-raising trail ride on the Paso Fino in Florida!) I stopped a lot of negative "what if" reactions in my brain. I experienced a few little spooks and stumbles, and sat them all fine, and realized I was more secure than I thought and more worried than I should be. I also tried a completely different horse (Bambi) and felt so lost on her that I wondered if I even knew how to ride at all. :O But I adapted to her after half a dozen or so rides and that was good for my confidence too -- despite making me feel pretty darn unaccomplished at the start.

I've become stronger, more assertive, more knowledgeable, and more trusting of both my body and the horses I ride. With all the core strength I gained last winter, I started to realize that I had the power to truly sit deep and HOLD myself in balance against spooking, coughing, stumbling, and rooting. That if I tipped ahead of the motion or fell behind it in a transition, it no longer needed to be catastrophic as I could just use my "magical core power" and right myself. The realization has been pretty slow to dawn -- it's really only hit me the last couple of months -- but it's been pretty awesome and has allowed me to use that strength to isolate my hands and my aids. I'm starting to feel closer to that holy grail of the "independent seat." 

Back on the topic of humbling experiences: I've still never been able to canter my coach's horse successfully. He's very large, lanky, and reactive. But also slow. So between my nerves about his wackiness, his reluctance to maintain any speed, and the way his hip chucks me off-balance in the canter transition, I've never gotten more than a few strides of his (very lovely) canter. Is it something wrong with me? Is it something wrong with him? (Spoiler: it's me.) Not every horse is going to be a match for me, and while I was beating myself up a bit for it at first, I'm going to shrug it off for now and maybe revisit that another time. One more winter of intensive riding and horsemanship may make the difference for me. Who knows!

In the meantime, though, can the weather pleeeeeaaaase be nice enough to just let me ride???


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## SteadyOn

*The curious incident of the shrinking helmet*

Yesterday I fiiiiiinally went out to ride again! Woohoo! Hadn't been riding in exactly two weeks, and I was worried I'd be rusty and whatever horse I rode would be pinging around all over the place, between the cold, the wind, and the fact that none of them have been used much or at all this whole October, so far. Just too wet, cold, and slippery. Blahh.

However, while it was cold, overcast, and windy, the footing was decent except for the track on one long side of the ring. Easy enough though to just ride the quarter line instead.

Before I got on, however, something... WEEEIRD happened. I got all tacked up, went to put my helmet on... and it wouldn't go on my head. I'm not talking just "it fit tighter than usual." I mean it WOULD NOT even go on. It was definitely my helmet. Same brand, size, scuff marks. Came straight out of my vehicle. It was like it had gotten dramatically narrower. I couldn't even blame it on the cold, as I was keeping it at an unheated barn all last winter and didn't have any fit problems. THANK GOD my coach was there, as she had one of her own to lend me so I could go ahead and ride. I was due for a new helmet anyhow, but... yikes. The only thing I can think of is that it may have been crushed sideways in the vehicle, between the back of one of the front seats and something in the back. My partner has a habit of ramming his seat back hard so... maybe??? Either way, it's toast. Thankfully I can borrow this one while I figure out what to buy next!!

Anyhow, the ride. For not having ridden in two weeks, I actually felt fine. I was a bit of a doofus trying to get ready, very distracted. (Hit my coach in the face with the whip while flipping the reins over Elle's head. I'm amaaaazing.) Elle was spinning in circles around me while I tried to tighten her girth near the mounting block, and was unusually fidgety to mount. But aside from being the type of "keyed up" you'd expect on a day like that, she wasn't too bad.

Now, Saturday I was lucky enough to watch the Charlotte Dujardin Masterclass in Caledon, and it was a very cool learning experience. It was especially helpful to watch one of the riders work with a VERY spooky horse who was having NONE of being in that ring with the big crowd around the edges, the lunch buffet being set up, etc. The rider was VERY brave and, under Dujardin's guidance, got the horse moving forward as much as/whenever possible. My instinct would be to keep a spooky horse SLOW and work them in the "safe" end of the ring, so it was cool to see a different approach, and see it pay off. She also had him pat and reassure the horse very frequently, which was nice to see as well.

So, while Elle is never, EVER that kind of spooky, she does get looky and does little side-steps and startles on windy days. Especially at the end of the ring with a lot of trees and brush. So I put my big girl boots on and worked the WHOLE ring instead of staying at the "safe" end. Worked on forward, moving into contact. Did a lot of shoulder-in throughout the ride to keep her brain focused on me. While she did have a few looky moments, and veered sideways a bit here and there, none of it was big and I rode it all confidently and didn't immediately put the brakes on every time just because she had a reaction. Riding these little moments is actually really good for my confidence because it shows me that a) I can sit through stuff and be okay and that b) not all spooks are doomed to escalate! I had a good chat with my coach after my ride and we agreed that one of the worst things for me is to have a sustained period where NOTHING unexpected ever happens during my rides, because I lose my confidence that I can handle this stuff, and start to escalate the "what-ifs" in my brain.

Back to the ride: worked on keeping her more in front of my leg, and riding her into more contact. Despite being high energy she actually wasn't super forward, so I did have to push. I played within the gaits, collecting her trot while still putting in a lot more leg and energy than I normally would, and it worked out well. She only slipped down to walk once on me. My canters on her were decent and I was sitting her at least as well as usual. No bouncing around. No tension. I wasn't as successful pushing her out and collecting her back up in canter, but I think that was just her being a bit distractable in the cold. My sitting trot felt really good and I was able to relax more into it, and worked on keeping my hands from coming up too much. I also worked, generally, on having less weight weight in my heel and more of it in my seat and thighs. By not having my heel pushed down as low, I was also able to bring my legs back under me a little bit more. My leg has improved a LOT, but it could still come back under me a liiittle bit more, so I'm going to see if this approach changes anything for the better.

I was trying Elle for her first time in a new bit, too, that was supposed to help with the leaning and heaviness she's prone to. Can't say I really noticed a difference, but her lateral flexion was better than usual, which may or may not have been related.

Over all, I was really pleased with her and with me in that ride. I trusted her and I trusted myself. For not having ridden her in a few weeks, I actually felt really good on her and not at all crooked or rusty. And I found out after my ride that she hadn't been ridden since my last ride on her at the beginning of the month!! So, not bad at all! She is gem.  While I didn't feel like it was the right day to do no stirrups work, other than that I felt confident to do pretty much anything.

Oh! And I played a bit with trying to check different things in my position at the letters around the ring.  It was really fun.

Alignment -- am I straight?
Knees -- are they pointing down? Are they loose enough?
Elbows -- do I look like a chicken?
Hands -- are they starting to come up?
Chest -- lift that sternum!
Middle -- are my abs engaged?
Butt -- is it underneath me at the right angle? Am I using the muscles effectively to support me?
Feet -- Am I poking my toes out?

The ride wasn't a lesson -- just a solo ride -- but hopefully if the footing doesn't get too slippery again I can get one in soon!!


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## SteadyOn

*The winter barn: year 2*

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! *muppet arms of excitement*

The horses have been moved to the winter barn! It's now a 15 minute drive instead of a 45 minute drive. There's a beautiful indoor arena there. And I get to ride as much as I want all winter in exchange for doing the morning chores.

This is the second winter we're doing this. Last winter, I was a bit slow to get into the swing of riding there, as I hadn't quite figured out how to pace everything and was nervous about the horses' attitudes for the first few weeks. However! They've settled in better, so far. My confidence is a lot higher. And one of the most exciting things? The manure pile has moved to a WAY more convenient place, so chores won't take as long. (Sometimes the little things are the BIG things!!)

I went up there this morning to ride and to just get the lay of the land, as the other two women were going to be there as well. The drive up was very pretty, as we'd had a pretty good snowfall, but the coloured leaves are still mostly on the trees. So the contrast of the white against the bright leaves was unusual and beautiful. I lunged Elle before the ride, just because she was being antsy and pushy in her stall, and I wanted to check her headspace. But she was all business on the lunge line, so we were good to go.

All three of us rode together, which never happens, and was so nice. (Although I'm BAD at sharing a ring, as I always ride alone, and kept nearly crashing into one of them. Augh!!) It was only about a 15-20 minute ride, just to get them going in the space again, but it was really lovely. It's not too cold yet, even though it snowed this morning. We were all in good moods, and the horses were being SO good for only having JUST moved up there.

I just did walk-trot in the ride. I was in a CC saddle instead of the dressage saddle I'm used to. However, it's a really, really well-balanced CC and doesn't put me in a chair seat, which is great. I did 95% of my trot sitting. My body was cooperating and I was really sticking in the saddle, so when it clicks I like to really GO with it to continue to train that muscle memory. I'm still working on keeping my hands low and getting the bounce out of them, but it's soooo much better than it was. Felt awesome!

I'm super excited about the possibilities this winter. Last winter I went in really nervous and with a pretty undeveloped seat. Over the course of the winter, my hips opened amazingly. I got a lot stronger. I went in there with a bad bounce in my canter and by the time spring arrived, it was 90% gone. I also started to work on my sitting trot, and while it's come a long way since I left there, it was still night and day between last fall and last spring. It was also last winter that my coach and I committed me to a dressage path. I was still sort of dabbling at everything English up to that point, but we got to a place where it made sense for me to specialize. And I'm honestly quite happy to put jumping behind me -- except for maybe hopping something a couple of times a year, just to prove to myself that I still can!

This winter I'm going in with more strength, more knowledge, more confidence, and more bravery. While I haven't ridden much in the last six weeks, I WAS starting to get comfortable cantering around without stirrups, and playing with things like shoulder-in at canter. I have some fitness to regain, but it shouldn't take me too long. Today felt wonderful despite the break, so I'm feeling really good about where I'm at! The possibilities for my riding to grow this winter are huuuuuuuge. Really curious to see what I'll have accomplished by the end!


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## whisperbaby22

So glad that things are so much easier for you. Yes, the little things really make it nice when you are doing chores.


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## SteadyOn

*A bad start and a better start*

Yesterday morning I went up for my first solo morning chore day at the winter barn. There are currently three horses there, and it's my job to feed, blanket, and turn them out, then make up their dinners in advance, and clean the stalls. Not a bad gig.

Since they were all so good on Sunday morning, I felt confident that I'd get a ride in yesterday after feeding them all, but they were all being anxious, stompy, and shrill. The two geldings kept screaming and pacing, and were working Elle up. So, even though I normally keep them in while I ride, and turn them out after, I decided to let them out first and see what happened.

Well, as soon as I let them out, Elle got ramped up and wouldn't hold still in her stall or respect my space. Sigh. So I brought her out into the arena and free lunged her before trying to tack her up. She ran and ran and ran around, trying to stop to flirt with the boys through the windows and doors of the arena (which face right out into the paddock). After thinking I'd burned off enough of her antsiness, I brought her in to try to tack her up. Nope. Still too antsy. Free lunged her AGAIN. Tried AGAIN to get her ready, but still acted like a menace. Sighhhhh. I had to bring her into the ring where she could see the others just to get her calm enough to get her blankets on. Bluhhhh. Horses!

This morning I changed things up. I waited to give any of them grain. I fed Elle first, then did a few chores while the boys stood and waited. I gave them each a little hay, then groomed Elle and got her ready with everything but the tack. THEN I grained the boys, finished her up, and went out to lunge and then ride.

Beautiful!!! She only called out a few times during the ride, and every time she did, she got to work harder. :lol:

She was a bit head-high at the beginning of the ride, but not much, and settled in fast. If anything she was pokey today. I was a bit stiff and crooked, but given how little I've been riding lately, that's not surprising. I used the CC saddle again today instead of the dressage saddle, as it was already adjusted for me and I was just trying to make everything quick and painless. 

What went well:
Sitting trot seat continues to be a good amount of sticky/loosey-goosey.
Canter on the left lead was like butter! I didn't budge from the saddle and it felt great. Followed wonderfully.
Confidence was so much better than when I started there last year. Being back in that indoor arena reminded me how nervous I was then, and how far I've come.
I was brave enough to get after her and cowgirl it up when she kept falling out of canter at the same place in the ring. I rode her hard and fast past that spot a few times without worrying about it escalating.

What needs work:
Our transitions, especially into and out of trot, sucked.
In canter on the right lead, I was pretty stiff and didn't follow as well.
My right leg was going all Dr. Strangelove on me. Had to consciously think about keeping it still and keep it back. My legs just generally weren't as still or as strong as I'm used to.
I could feel some general crookedness in my body's movement.
Elle was super poked-out in front and resisting going onto the bit.
She also kept dropping out of our sitting trot.

It was just a short ride and I didn't do too much with her, though. Mainly I wanted to GET a ride in and make sure it worked. So, gonna call it a success! Everything else will come with time and practice.


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## SteadyOn

*Shortest lesson summary ever*

From this morning:

My coach: Canter *FASTER!!*
Me: But I'll diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieee!!!!

(I did not die, but I didn't really manage to canter faster, either.)


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## SteadyOn

I was soooooooo sore after my lesson on Friday. I'm not used to being sore after lessons. That five week hiatus from regular riding really did me in a lot more than I thought it would. However! I'm back on that horse (haha) now so no point in lamenting the backslide in my fitness. Moving forward now!

Speaking of FORWARD, that was the focus of the lesson on Friday. BIG TROT! BIGGER! BIG CANTER! BIGGER! While I did manage the bigger trot (while huffing and puffing and sweating, arghh) the "big canter" was a bust. I cantered... sliiightly bigger than I'm used to? But I lost my steering in the process. My steering and my seat, a bit. Oh boy. Elle was also going pretty crooked, putting her haunches in one way and dropping her shoulder in the other. Which my coach wanted me to correct. While also trying for faster. And also not falling off, ideally. That's rather a lot of things at once!

My right hip was really playing up on me, being stiff and sending a bit of pain and numbness down my leg. This happens to me after time off -- and sometimes just for no real reason -- so it wasn't surprising, but it was annoying. Didn't help at all with me trying to follow bigger movement.

My homework from the lesson was to do hip stretches before every ride, and to work on shoulder in and haunches in with Elle. And to get her FORWARD, biggest trot and biggest canters I can manage. She defaults to poking around at the lower end of whatever gait you set her in, which does make for a relaxing ride, but it isn't going to get either of us all that fit, and having her behind my leg all the time won't help us with any showing this coming season.

I gave us both a day off yesterday, as we had worked hard, and rode again this morning. I was a bad kid and forgot to do my hip stretches (oops!) and didn't do the shoulder-in or travers, but we DID do some BIIIIIG trot all over the place, and I counted strides down the long side to lengthen her out and shorten her up, alternately. Also got some slightly bigger canter, though it was nothing more than a working canter. Didn't even get up to medium canter. But I was able to count strides on a 20 metre circle and modify how many it took us to get around. So that was a good start.

My right hip was behaving better today. It was only about 15% as contrary as it was on Friday. It wanted to stiffen up a bit in canter, but wasn't doing its usual trick of trying to creep forward. Mostly I just ignored it and did my thing, and it was fairly okay.

I did a couple of flying changes for the first time in a while, too. She was diving on the forehand a bit through them, which is a habit of hers that she needs to be schooled back out of, but I got them more or less when I asked for them, and she didn't break back to trot at all today from the canter, so we'll call that a big win!

I did my last 10-15 minutes of the ride in trot without my stirrups. Both rising and seated. A smaller trot in serpentines, a "bigger" trot (but still just a working trot) on the long sides. Interestingly, it was my left hip and thigh muscles that felt the burn the most. I decided not to canter without stirrups today as I want to get more fitness back before we do that again. Still, I think the no stirrups work is good for that stiff right hip. I visualized balancing an egg on the front of my pelvis as I sat the trot without my stirrups. I'm not sure where the visual came from but it popped into my head and was really helpful. It kept my lower abs engaged, kept my hips rotated enough the right way, and also encouraged me to soften the bounce in my seat so the "egg" wouldn't break.

After the ride, I did carrot stretches with Elle to try to loosen up her big ol' stiff neck. It went a bit better than last night's effort.

My hips need to open more, my seat needs to deepen, and hopefully then I'll be back where I was at the end of last winter, with the added confidence of another season of riding behind me now. Should be an interesting time! The lessons are harder and my coach is kicking my butt. I feel like it's going to go well, though!


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## SteadyOn

Last night, I did the evening feed and bringing in. After getting everyone settled and giving them all their dinner, I brought Elle out and free lunged her around in the indoor. I decided to jog along with her during the trot portions and I was quickly huffing and wheezing in my very best impression of an asthma attack. Okay, so, not doing any running since January has apparently NOT been kind to my cardio health. Craaaaap. It's amazing how quickly I get out of shape again since I've hit my late 30s. I keep talking about it in every entry, I realize, but that five weeks of little-to-no riding has REALLY set my back and made my hips lock up, too. Ugh!

Anyhow, back to last night. After free lunging her, I stepped into the middle of the arena and dropped the whip, and just stood there totally passively to see what she'd do. She's not the most social-with-people horse, but rather than walk straight to the gate to ask to go back in, she walked right up to me, and stood for scratches on her face. Then moved ahead a bit so I was in the right place for scratches on her neck. Then further ahead for scratches on her side, etc., until I was finally scratching her butt, and only when she was done with that did she head over to the gate to ask to be let back in. <3 It's so lovely when they seek you out -- especially when it's a horse who doesn't do that very often. I did carrot stretches with her after, and we were slightly better at it this time. She even bent low enough for one that she bowed one front leg slightly. Pretty cool.

This morning I rode. Good big trot, and did some transitions within the gait. She was good about coming up and down as I changed my post, how much I held (or didn't hold) her with my seat, etc. Canter was good but not fast no matter how much I pushed it out. But I'll keep working at it. My canter seat, due to my apparent riding-break-related muscle atrophy (or whatever), was pretty awful, especially to the right. I could make minor improvement but my body really wanted the motion to just push and slam me around. Gross. I can ride better than that!! My hands were cooperating well for the most part, at least.

After the canter work I did three laps of the ring each way in a rising trot with no stirrups. Then a little bit of sitting trot with no stirrups, before finally feeling comfortable enough to do a little canter without them. Well! To the left I felt like I was getting chucked out a bit, and had to really keep weight down in the left seat bone and even lean in a bit on the circle. Not dramatically, but more than I expected. Not tooooo much bounce though. To the right, I was pretty awful. A few strides of SLAM, SLAM, SLAM, before I got myself better organized and was able to cushion the motion with my seat. I was still getting bounced, ugh, but by thinking of lifting the front of my pubic bone to follow the motion, and really concentrating on that and nothing else, I did follow better (though not well) although I completely lost my steering in the process and wound up on a very wee circle. Sigh. Oh well, one thing at a time.

Following that, I took my stirrups back and did some shoulder-in and haunches-in. Shoulder-in is fine on her, she and I have that pretty well worked out. Haunches in, though... She didn't evade by cantering like she did during our lesson. She just evaded by... not doing it at all. Eventually I got a little out of her, but it was mostly on the side that she tends to drift her hind in on anyhow.

Followed the ride with carrot stretches. If only I could be as consistent with MY stretches as I am with hers, this hip problem might actually start improving!!!


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## SteadyOn

Snow snow snow. Snow squalls this morning before I left the house. Everything was shaking and rattling in the wind, and fine, powdery snow was blowing in sideways. The roads on the way to the barn were a bit slippery, but it was an okay reintroduction to winter driving, and we do have new snow tires on the car, so, yay!!

Got inside to do morning feed and flicked the lights on and... nothing. Thank goodness for the built-in flashlights on cell phones, or else I would have been doing a lot of blind fumbling in the dark. The winter barn is in a location that's extremely low-priority for power outage repairs, it seems, so it might be off a couple of days, even. But, fingers crossed!

It was so dark, even in the arena (which is like 50% windows) that my original plan to ride seemed like a bust. I got everyone fed and blanketed and chucked them all outside. Cleaning the stalls in the near-dark was... challenging, but went okay.

After chores, it was actually bright enough inside the ring that I pulled Elle back in and tacked her up quickly and hopped on. (I had to do a by-phone-flashlight tack trip and bring everything out to the arena!)

Now, I HATE, HATE riding with the other horses outside, because their paddocks are right up against the sides of the indoor. As in, the walls of the arena ARE the walls of the paddock. And they're, as mentioned above, almost all plexi windows, floor to ceiling. So, the outside horses like to just RUN AND RUN AND RUN AND RUN up and down the sides of the ring while screaming for the horse being ridden inside. Also thumping on the sliding doors. And, today, one of the horses using the walls and doors to scrape snow off himself. THUMP THUMP BANG BANG NEIIIIGHHHHHHHHHH

But, as I said, it was either that or don't ride. So I did.

Now, the person I was a year ago would NOT have felt okay about this. At the very least, she would have lunged first. For a LONG time. And she would have given the walls a MUCH wider distance. (I used the quarterline on the long side but only rode a few feet away from the track on the short end, today.) However, I felt fine about it. Yay confidence!! That was huge for me -- though the fact that Elle just stood calmly for the whole tacking up and seemed TOTALLY unconcerned the entire ride DID help. I even managed some no-stirrups work.

The ride itself was productive though nothing really stood out, other than being a big *potential* spooking nightmare if I hadn't been on a fairly unflappable horse. My right hip was on better behaviour today. No weakness or numbness, and I generally followed the motion better than the last ride or two (though with definite room for improvement). I didn't canter without stirrups today -- didn't seem like *quite* the environment for it, as steady as she was about everything.

I worked on getting her off my leg, even in the cool-out walk. Nudge, BUMP, TAP! It felt a bit weird to get after her with the whip for just a less-pokey walk, but my leg needs to MEAN something in walk so we started there.

I also did a really good hip opener stretch that I wish I'd started doing ages ago. I lifted my legs up and put my knees in front of the saddle flaps to that my seatbones were tucked under me and my lower back was stretched, then kept my seat and back in that position while I dropped my legs back down and let them hang nice and long. Felt amazing! What a stretch!! And it really put me deep in the saddle. Definitely going to revisit that one!

I also played a bit with turn on the haunches and turn on the forehand, right at the end of the ride. She was better at the former than the latter. Or I was, haha. We haven't worked on those in our lessons so I don't know if I was cueing her the way she's used to, but we sort of got it. There was a lot of unintentional backing up but I know we can do better.

One thing I was not getting well in my ride was walk-to-canter on the straight part of the long side. We're good at it on a circle but I hadn't realized how rough it is when we're going straight. One more thing to work on!

All in all, feeling good!


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## SteadyOn

*First time in spurs...*

...in over 20 years! 

A couple of months ago, after a couple of glasses of wine, I impulse-bought a pair of spurs, online, during a sale. I had recently tried a pair of my coach's spurs on Elle, during a lesson, but they were a Prince of Wales style with a fairly long neck and I spent the whole time with my leg OFF as I was afraid of accidentally jabbing with them. Kind of defeated the purpose. :-?

These new ones are an inch long, or maybe a little less, with a big ball end. They seemed just right: long enough that I wouldn't just completely avoid putting them on, but dull enough that I wouldn't worry about accidentally sticking her with them and getting a big unexpected reaction.

Well.... It was completely fine. _Anticlimactic_ would be the best word for it, hahahaha. I got SOME response with them, but they definitely did NOT result in Elle violently pinging around the ring, so that was PERFECT. Once I'm used to these I might upgrade to something with a bit more emphasis to them, as she was *nearly* indifferent to these. But, baby steps.

My control over whether or not I applied them was far better than I expected, actually. I was able to use my calf and the inside of my legs without the spurs coming into contact unless I actually put them on on purpose. I also rode with my whip just in case I wasn't comfortable using the spurs (though it turned out I was) and still used it a couple of times so that I wasn't just spurring her to get a response. They still serve somewhat separate purposes, so why not.

I felt pretty on today. My seat was following a lot better than it has been lately and I was able to get a bit more movement out of that sticky right hip of mine. Cantering to the left, I had no bounce and it felt great. Cantering to the right -- always my stiffer side -- had bounce, alas, but still showed some improvement.

Elle was having a stiff day. She wasn't off in any particular way -- just not as nimble as usual. This time of year is always a bit of a sticky transition time as the weather changes and her aging body adapts. The best thing we can do for her is keep her moving as much as possible, but I do modify the work to take her comfort into consideration. I skipped lateral work, and only ran into a problem trying for a flying change. Great change to the right, utter disaster switching to the left. I tried it three times with her at different points in the ride, and just got a run into trot on two occasions, and super unbalanced change on the third try. But still, got it. So left it at that.

No stirrups work felt great today. I've been sticking with the November plan!! Trot was decent, if pokey, and my hands are getting better at staying low and wide and not bouncing all over the frigging place. Canter to the left was like BUTTER. It was a pretty slow canter, but that's fine for now. There was zero bounce and it felt wonderful. To the right though... oooof. Still stiff, still bouncing. Dammit, hip! But, still felt some improvement.

At the end of the ride I did a few stretches and exercises to help lengthen my leg and stretch my hip. I pulled my legs up in front of the saddle to get my seat under me, again, and then let my legs drop long below me. I added some swinging from the hip today, too, in rhythm with the walk. Surprise surprise, my right leg wouldn't swing as far from the hip as my left. So I think this is a good one to keep working on. I've also been riding a hole longer, when I have used my stirrups, and it's been a good change for getting that hip to do more.


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## SteadyOn

Today's ride was a bit funny. The things that were good about yesterday's ride weren't quite as good, and the things that were bad weren't as bad.

I really haven't been doing my homework very well. :/ While my coach was away, I was supposed to do hip stretches before riding. I was supposed to try to ride BIG, FAST, FORWARD trot and canter. I was supposed to work on shoulders-in and haunches-in. It doesn't sound like a lot but I haven't been able to fit it all in each ride. While I've done a little bit of all of it, the lateral work has been back-burnered the most. And I haven't been doing hip stretches before riding -- but I've been doing some hip stretches and lengthening IN the saddle, so I haven't been totally neglectful? Fast trot, yes, we've done lots of that. Fast canter...??? I've gotten SLIGHTLY bigger and faster canter out of her, but it's still been pretty... leisurely. Today I was trying to imagine being on a cross country course and galloping towards a jump!! And... yeah, still pretty pokey. Elle doesn't want to go faster, and in my heart I'm a pretty big chicken about speed so I don't think I'm being QUITE as encouraging as I should be. D: I did feel a bit more confident about trying for it today, even though I wasn't actually getting it. But that's... something? I think as my seat gets better again I'll feel more confident about it.

I skipped the lateral work and I skipped the flying changes today, given her stiffness yesterday. (Actually I did some truly pathetic attempts at leg yield at a walk.) She was being passively uncooperative in all the ways I'm used to on her -- though when she was being ridden a lot this summer, and was a lot more fit, those problems didn't seem to be there to the same extent. I think she's used to being allowed to be pokey at the barn we currently have her at, as she's trailered up there sometimes for kids' lessons during the warm months. 

Did some no-stirrups work at trot and canter. I did NOT have the close, smooth following seat on the left lead that I had yesterday. However, I was a lot less stiff on the right lead canter. So. Yay for evenness?

Elle was trying to run in trot instead of picking up canter, especially on the left lead, a few times when I asked from trot. Took far too long to get her into canter. She knows better, but she's trying on saying "No" lately, apparently. Need to work on that. I tried the spurs but I think I would have been better to back my outside leg up with the whip. The spurs are interesting but I'm not being as snappy about ask-tell-demand because I'm still feeling them out. Also they ARE laughably large, round, and totally dull. It probably feels like being nudged with a golf ball, so they really don't provoke much response.

Elle has been EXTREMELY relaxed and content-seeming every time I've worked with her over the last two weeks. While it's made her easy and wonderful to handle, and I'm glad she's so happy, a LITTLE pep during our rides would be nice!!!


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## SteadyOn

*Shifting gears*

I had a lesson back on the 15th that I still haven't written about. Just lots of life stuff happening. Busy busy!

So, the plan is to show in some very very lowest possible level dressage in 2019. Nothing fancy, not a big series. Just a sprinkling of small shows and schooling shows. Anything with dressage classes, basically. I haven't "shown" in dressage since I was 13 or 14 and in Pony Club, and during that test I punched my pony in the neck* and still placed third. So, yeah, that about says it all. 

(*I had no crop and the pony was blowing me off and cutting in on the corner, ignoring my inside leg, so I gave her a little pop in the side of the neck to surprise her back over. It worked. No animals were actually beaten. :lol

I told my coach about Elle's stiffness in canter and it was quickly determined that 1. She wasn't actually stiff at all, and that 2. She was feeling unbalanced because she was strung out all over the place, behind my leg, and had NO go whatsoever.

So, that lesson, we WORKED and WORKED.

Getting Elle organized, on the bit, and stepping under herself is NOT easy to accomplish. I've seen my coach get on her and have her going that way without about 30 seconds of schooling, but Elle can tell her riders apart and knows I won't work as hard to accomplish the same thing. So until we establish that I mean business, unfortunately it's going to be a LOT of work for me. And a lot of resistance from her.

Up to this point in my lessons, we've been working a lot more on me and getting my stiff, weak, uncooperative re-rider body back in shape. However, now that I'm finally (three and a half years back in) fairly rider-fit and have control over my own body (for the most part), we have to also work on getting "my" horse's form working well, too.

During the lesson we DID get it, though the amount of work, body control, strength and persistence it took from me to have her go "Ugh, FINE" and get herself in gear was pretty quickly exhausting. The difference in feeling though, the forwardness and POWER coming from Elle was incredible. Actually getting her to move out and step under, getting her in front of my leg... it was really cool. But my instincts with how and when to tie leg aids into flexion, half halts, etc., basically need to be built up from zero to... at least competence, and go from there.

I was glad I had put in some practice time with the spurs, because, while I didn't need them a lot, it was good to HAVE them to back up my leg aids so she couldn't ignore me and get away with it. It was also nice to be able to emphasize a lateral leg aid in a way that you just can't with a dressage whip.

We just did walk trot, but it was definitely enough. By the end of the lesson we were both sweaty messes. For me it was exertion, but for her it was more of a mental sweat as she had spent most of the ride trying to think of ways to get out of having to be so forward. She was great though, aside from a couple of moments where she sucked back and started tossing her head around to try to get out of going forward -- which I'm sorry to say, worked, as it caught me off guard and I stopped her and went "WHAT is happening??" Unfortunately my earliest falls and bad experiences in riding were due to bolting, so my instinct when anything feels like it's going wrong is to apply the brakes and go AUGH!!! Not helpful when lack of FORWARD is the problem. 

I rode on my own yesterday and tried to apply what we had worked on in the lesson. It was... so so. I didn't get her anywhere near as engaged but I did my best and got her a bit more together than we usually go. Did walk, trot, and canter, and paid attention to how she was using her body, moreso than usual. She was slow and resistant and I had to put a LOT of energy into her. I think I'm going to need a serious schooling session of GET OFF MY LEG. ASAP. But we've got all winter to figure this out.

I also did some no-stirrups sitting trot work, as I'm still working on getting my hips to open up again. It's been helping a lot, actually. My body cooperated during the canter work in this most recent ride, and there wasn't a significant difference in my ability to follow left and right leads.


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## whisperbaby22

Sounds like you are making a lot of progress, the shows should be fun.


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## SteadyOn

Slightly slump-y time right now. I had a lesson two days ago, and Elle and I were having such a difficult time that my coach had to get on and school her for a good 5 minutes before I hopped back up. The month off that both Elle and I had that didn't do my hip any favours, didn't do Elle any favours either, and now that she's back in work she has zero interest in carrying herself, balancing herself, and going forward. (On the plus side my hip is fine now!)

She spent the first portion of the ride reefing the reins out of my hands and going around with her nose in the air, or leaning hard, or refusing to move forward, or some combination there of. My coach, who has owned her for the last six years or so, and put a lot of her dressage training on her, is confident it's not a pain issue. She's seen this many many times before with Elle, and it's Elle's way of evading. Elle's expressions aren't "Ouch," they're just "Don't wanna!" We tried her on the lunge with no rider and the SECOND we snapped side reins (very loosely set!!) onto her she softened and started using herself right again. With my coach, who had to have it out with her a bit, she finally relented, softened, and moved forward beautifully. I got on and she knew the difference and went back to fighting me -- though not quite as insistently, and I was able to get a bit of a better response.

For the next few weeks we've been "demoted" to walk and trot during our practice rides, while we get ourselves sorted out and Elle gets back on board with the fact that her vacay is over and she can't lumber along like a tranquilized camel. I'm to warm her up thoroughly on the lunge in the side reins before getting on and see if that helps her get back into work mode.

However, I probably won't be able to ride again until the end of this coming week, as I'm heading out of town for a little vacation with my partner. So unfortunately rusty Elle will have to stay rusty a little longer.  Once I'm back, though, my schedule changes and should give me time to work with her to some degree on most days, so hopefully we'll see some progress.

On the one hand, it's kind of flattering that my coach wants me to do my own tune-up rides on Elle. On the other hand... it's hard!!


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## SteadyOn

A bit of a breakthrough, finally, in today's ride with Elle.

We've been trying not to let her win when she leans into the bit and ignores rein aids. She has always had a very hard mouth and has learned that she can pull the reins right out of certain riders' hands. So. I don't let her, and then the second she softens, I soften. But today... no softening when I asked for any give to the bridle. At all. And it wasn't long before I tweaked something in my upper arm and shoulder and it was like, wellllp, I can't win a leaning/pulling contest and this is obviously not going to get either of us anywhere.

So, I went off-book and instead of trying to do things exactly the way my coach has been trying to have me do them (which so far hasn't clicked for me, and I suspect I'm not doing it right), I just worked on getting her FORWARD and then started doing some spiraling out on big circles. In a nice big forward trot, I would get her into the beginning of a fairly small, tight circle as I turned off the rail, then use my inside leg to push her out into the outside rein while my inside rein asked for flexion. I did a LOT of these in both directions. And I didn't do a gradual spiral, either: I just pushed her RIGHT out all the way to the wall on however much of the circle that took. (Usually not very much of it.) It was sort of partly a circle, partly an intentionally bad leg yield.

And... IT WORKED!! I was able to push my hands forward, and have her arch her neck and back, and reach forward into the bridle. And she was nice and round and soft and (relatively) light for the rest of the ride. I didn't make her do too much like that -- always end on a good note once you get the thing you're looking for, after all! -- and instead lowered and widened my hands and let the reins out as much as she wanted to reach, and did some nice stretchy trot where I could feel her work over her back. Ahhhhhhhh, better!!!


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## SteadyOn

Lunged before I rode today. Elle was looking pretty stiff in her right hip at canter, but otherwise moving well and nice and forward in her trot. The constant changes in weather aren't doing her old joints many favours, so we're keeping her in steady forward work to limber her up. She was like this around this time last year, too, then moving much better once the weather got cold and stayed cold, and was great from there through the whole following season.

My ride, after a good long lunging session, felt really long... but when I checked my phone after, it had only been 20 minutes!! It was really productive, though. BIG forward trot. Big big big. I've been counting strides along the wall, and where we used to have seven strides between two points on the long wall, we're now getting 5 to 6 strides. Better! I also did more spiralling out, really using my inside leg and rein to push her into the outside rein and get that bend and flexion. The spurs have been useful for actually getting that exaggerated bend and moving her off my inside leg.

I also worked on shoulder-in with her in both directions. She sucked back a little, especially to the left, but I was better at staying after her for that, so it wasn't too bad. Over all, efforts to keep her in front of my leg have been good and are starting to pay off.

About 2/3 of the way into the ride, after all the bending and lateral work, I think I heard a choir of angels sing as she softened, lifted her back, arched her neck and reached into the contact, lengthening her neck, opening her throatlatch and going perfectly on the vertical with big steps under from the back end. Holy crap!!! Exactly what we've been looking for from her!!! I immediately pushed my hands forward, low and wide, and let her deepen into that stretch. We rode a beautiful forward stretchy trot around several laps each way while I made a big fuss over her. Halle-freaking-lujah!!!

She was pretty sweaty, so after a good cooling out, I stripped the tack off and let her have a good roll in the sand arena before putting her away again, brushing her well and putting her therapy blanket and boots on (the actually effectiveness of which I'm pretty dubious about but since they're there, why not use them?).

It's interesting to be focusing so much on the horse and not really thinking about myself during the rides that much right now. In a way it's good, I think? I'm not overthinking my riding, though I know I'm definitely working very hard while I'm doing it. It's nice to feel some progress with getting her moving well again, so that's where my head and my goals are at right now. Looking forward to riding as much as possible in December. We'll see where we get to!


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## whisperbaby22

I think the thing that is so addictive about riding is that you do kind of go out of yourself, kind of like meditating.


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## SteadyOn

This morning I had to drive my partner in to work, so ran up with him to the barn, fed, blanketed and turned out the horses, then drove him in and decided to swing up to the barn after to do the stalls.

When I got back there, my coach had arrived and had done all the stalls for me so that I'd have time to ride before I had to work!!! :loveshower: I am definitely spoiled!!!

Just had time for a little 10-15 minute walk-trot ride, but sooo nice of her!! Worked on getting Elle MOVING, and she felt pretty even and apparently looked good. I also did a couple of serpentines in no-stirrups sitting trot.

Elle's had no gas pedal lately, so we're going to increase her grain and see if we can heat her up a little. At the moment she's suuuuuper relaxed. At all times. Makes her super easy to work with on the ground, but under saddle it's a bit... underwhelming, haha.


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## SteadyOn

Had a much longer ride today! I focused on getting Elle slowly and properly warmed up. I skipped the lunging and did the whole warm-up under saddle.

I worked a lot on getting her to move of my inside leg and flex to the inside, pushing her into the outside rein. This kind of work is going to be what improves her carriage and gets her to round and work over her back. Well, hopefully. In theory. :/ Some days she has other ideas.

It was going... so-so. I'm finding that on different days, it takes different methods to "unstick" her. I hadn't cantered her in a couple of weeks as we're focusing on her form in trot right now, but about 2/3 of the way into the ride -- after trying lots of bending, lots of pushing her out, even a weak attempt at a stretchy trot -- I did just two 20m circles each direction. Her left lead canter felt awful (which wasn't unexpected as that is her stiff side and we hadn't cantered in quite a while). Her right lead canter felt great.

And? Apparently THAT was what she needed to get "unstuck" today. Back in trot, she was immediately more forward, and was rounding and reaching into the contact. I caught our reflection in the arena window and she looked great and was working on the vertical with a good big step.

As for that stretchy trot? We got it! She stretched down SO far she was almost touching the ground! I pushed her in it until she got tired, as this is exactly the kind of stretch we need from her. Really getting her stretching her topline while she covers ground. I gave her lots of pats, cooled her out, and let her have a nice roll, again, in the sand ring before brushing her and turning her out.

My left shoulder was being stiff today so I'm going to have to work on that a bit, but over all I felt pretty good about my position today. My canter seat was actually quite good on my usual "bad" side today -- following and relaxed. My hands are getting a lot better and more effective, and they're not bobbing around in rising trot or trying to come up on me. Those problems weren't BIG but they were something I wanted to fix, so it's good to feel progress there.

The additional "hot" calories in Elle's diet seem to already be helping her energy levels, too, already. She was moving around a lot while I tacked her up, which while inconvenient, was more in character for her than her weird statue-like "zen" state of late. She also had more pep under saddle -- especially after that bit of canter!! So I didn't have to be a meany and KEEP getting after her to move. Yay!!!


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## SteadyOn

*Diego*

Well, yesterday morning was not the best morning in history for me. I got up early, grabbed my new GoPro (early Christmas present!!) to play with during my ride on Elle, and tried to leave early -- which for some reason never actually happens, ugh. Then... my car wouldn't start and I had to boost it. Then, when I got to the barn I had a text from my coach saying to check on Elle because she came in looking really off the night before.

Well... she had a matching pair of warm and swollen hocks. Yaaaaaaaayyyy. We think she must have torqued them somehow in the field. Might have slipped on something. Who knows. Doesn't seem like anything major. But she needs time off from riding until that gets better, obviously.

I talked to my coach and she proposed I try a lesson on the newest member of the barn. A PRE gelding we'll call Diego.

He's a sweetheart to handle and work around. Very quiet and honest. He's always watching everything going on around him, and his little ears ***** up and swivel around in a really charming way. He's a worrier, but his worry is very quiet and internalized. He doesn't explode at things, but does give honest reactions.

He's a fair bit smaller than Elle, but doesn't feel small when you're on his back. He has a very fluid and rolling way of moving that Elle does not. I wouldn't say he's bouncy -- you really stick to his back -- but he does really roll your hips along as you go.

I really liked his movement, and his saddle put me in a wonderful position! I was able to immediately sit really deep in it, and my hips were open and every part of me stayed in full contact with the saddle and his sides. 

My leg was, weirdly, actually in TOO good a position for him. That's a first! I've spent my whole life fighting chair seat... and now that my leg is finally back under me and a spot that felt especially fantastic on him... I have to intentionally keep it forward on him for now because his previous owner of five years had a very forward leg position and he doesn't understand "GO" when your leg is on his barrel instead of right at the girth! The long term plan is to fix this, but for now we've got to work with what we've got! So bring on the chair seat for now, I guess!!

I had heard that he was hard to get forward, but I had NO IDEA. Apparently he'll really test and test and test for the first few rides with any new rider. I had spurs and a whip and, while I ALWAYS asked nicely first, I was very glad to have the artificial aids because BOY did I ever have to back up what I asked for. He got better as the ride went along, and was really listening and paying attention by the end (though his default was still very much a solid WHOA).

At one point he decided he didn't want to go into a particular corner, and kept looking at it and trying to veer to the inside. Trying to take the corner correctly and push him into it off my inside leg wasn't working at all, so my coach said to just use the reins and get him over there, even if it wasn't pretty. And it was NOT pretty, hahahaha. His body might not have gone into that corner, but at least I got his head in!! Cue unintentional lateral work!!

Eventually we got it by circling in the middle of the ring and then creeping him over closer to the corner on each turn -- also taking him over a few poles to keep his brain busy. I also used that corner to stop him, rest him, and pat him. He definitely got over it!

We just did walk-trot today. I can't imagine trying to get him forward and organized enough for canter until he's going better with me!

My coach said that, as difficult as I was finding him, the ride actually went really well and I did a great job with him. Apparently he went as well for me today in my FIRST ride on him as he tends to go in most people's THIRD ride! Nice!!! He hasn't been ridden much at all lately, either, so that made me feel good.

I have permission to go ahead and ride him outside of lessons, so that's great! Gives me an alternative to Elle while she heals up, and he's SUCH a different horse that he'll good for my experience and confidence.

I do know that even a year ago I would not have felt capable of riding the way I did today, or confident enough to even push him through. I've really come a long way!

I also felt really good about my lower leg control, and about my ability to selectively and effectively apply spurs. I had been so hesitant to start using them, but they're such a handy addition now that I know I can use them responsibly. They work in a way that regular leg, or a whip, just does not work. It's like growing another limb or something; I feel like I have this nifty new part of me that can help my riding and that I did not have before.

So all in all, despite a rough start to the week, I think things are looking pretty good!

And can I say again just how much I LOVE his saddle????


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## whisperbaby22

I've never ridden one, but andalusians are all over around here. They do have a kind of "round" way of moving.


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## SteadyOn

Oh boy... THAT was quite the start to the day.

I actually, FOR ONCE, got to the barn a little earlier than usual. I walked in and the lights wouldn't all turn on -- which is normal, as they're really unreliable and temperamental fluorescents. As I stood there flicking the switches off and on and off and on, my eyes started to adjust and I noticed a broom on its side in the hallway... and some poop... and some things in weird places.

At first I thought, WOW, someone must have had to leave in a big hurry last night!!

Then I looked around and saw more poop, and wheelbarrow on its side, and a garbage can with every single empty shavings bag pulled out of it and thrown on the floor. Huhhhhhhhhhhh...

Then I hear CLOP CLOP CLOP and my coach's horse walks around the corner, comes up to me, and starts licking me. 

Well.

I guess his stall wasn't fully latched last night, so he let himself out and did some redecorating. Fortunately, no significant damage done. He smashed a spray bottle, ripped velcro off a bell boot, and managed to... eat??... the tabs off a couple of zippers.

He was fine and the two high end saddles he COULD have trashed were also fine.

Oh, and for bonus points: he pulled a shoe two days ago. For the second time THIS WEEK. Good thing he's a sweetheart.

Sooooooo, cleaned that up. That pretty much undid the fact that I came early. Dammit. But at least the fact that I DID come early meant I still had time to ride!!!

Elle is still recovering (though moving much better!), so I rode Diego again, this time unsupervised.

I have to say, WOW, what a difference!! My coach wasn't kidding about him improving once you've worked THROUGH things with him. I still had a few fights to get him really moving, but I used about 10% as much of my artificial aids to get him moving. Which was a relief to both of us, I'm sure! He still picked some no-go sections of the arena -- like he had the previous ride where he would NOT go into one corner. Today he was less dramatic about these no-go zones.... buuuuuut there were more of them. Siiiiigh.

At first I tried to MAKE. HIM. GO. THERE. Howeverrrrrr. While that works for some horses, it was not working for him. He seemed genuinely concerned, and getting after him in those spots was making him want to avoid those spots more -- which was totally logical. So... change of tactics.

I put him completely on the buckle. Just used the grab strap at the front of the saddle to avoid the temptation of picking up the reins to steer him, and got him trotting. Decided he could just go wherever, so long as he went FORWARD! It was really nice. After a few laps around like this he stopped being as concerned about the no-go areas and started working closer and closer to them. Eventually I got him into some of those places just by putting my inside leg on and pushing him over.

Amusing things: he was GREAT at this on the left rein. But for some reason he kept going over a set of trotting poles!! Sure, they were on the rail but he could easily have avoided them. He wasn't on the rail everywhere else. But nooooooo, he was over them every. Single. Time. He HATES trotting poles!! Weirdo.

Other amusing thing: The relaxed, cruising around thing stopped when I turned him around to try to do the same on the right rein. He put the brakes on and had a minor temper tantrum that I had to fight him through. Then I had to steer and micromanage him around again for a few laps before I finally dropped the reins -- except that I kept JUST the right rein loosely held in case he tried to switch back to the left rein. In this direction he didn't keep seeking out the poles, hahahaha.

All in all, it was a really fun ride and the difference in him from last time was HUUUUGE. I think I really am going to just avoid steering him over my next few rides on him, as I think it will actually make him *easier* to steer in the long run as he gets used to the fact that the WHOLE arena is an okay place to be. I made a point, during this ride and the previous one, of resting him and petting him in the places he had been avoiding. 

As hard as he is to get MOVING well, he's soooo easy in every other respect that he's actually super pleasant, and I look forward to seeing what other results I can get from my rides on him.


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## SteadyOn

Oh boy, poor Diego! I think I broke his brain a little today. XD

So, the cruising around on a loose rein yesterday was so fun and went so well that I decided to cut to it way earlier in the ride instead of riding him around "normally" for a long time first. Well... 

He just trotted aroundandaroundandaroundandaround in this teeny tiny wonky circle and wouldn't go around in a bigger area at all unless I steered him. I mean, I let him do it for QUITE a while first, hoping he'd get sick of it and try to either make the circle bigger or head somewhere else, but... nope. Just trot trot trotting around this 15m blob-shaped "circle" foreeeeever until I started steering him again. Sigh. I don't think it was anything I was doing with my body, but just in case I was accidentally cuing him to do that, I tried shifting my body and using my inside leg to indicate opening up the turns into a larger space. Nooooope.

I changed reins and got the same result -- except that, like yesterday, I had to keep my hand on the right rein slightly just to periodically touch it to keep him from switching back to the left rein.

Soooo I went back to riding him around with contact and steering and just keeping him going along the rail, both directions, until he was more established into going around the WHOLE ring. Then I let him loose again.

On the left rein, he did what he did yesterday. Cut off the ends of the ring a bit, but went over the trotting poles voluntarily almost every time. (Unlike yesterday though, he did start them a couple of times and then change his mind and slip out the side part way over.) He also kept going over by one of the no-go areas that he HATES going near when I'm actually *telling* him to go there. Weeeeird.

We did some work on the right rein, again, riding normally, with contact and steering, and once again he was weird about the same corner he's hated every time I've ridden him. However, I found that if I put my inside leg BACK instead of just pressing at the girth, and asked for some inside flexion and *thought* shoulder-in (even though my leg was in the wrong place for that) he did the corner really well 80% of the time instead of 0% of the time.

I was eventually able to sort of let him self-steer on a loose rein to the right. Sort of. Still had to pick up that right rein occasionally to keep him from changing directions, or direct him with both hands with loose open reins.

We had fewer fights throughout the ride, though there were moments. If I felt him slow and he ignored my leg, I got after him. But over all I tried to do as little as possible. My over all goal was to make a nice, forward trot the absolute easiest and most pleasant state for him to be in, and I think that went well. He was trained in a foreign country where he was handled VERY harshly and every single thing he did was under a lot of human control. He's very shut down. And while his previous owner treated him well, she was a very noisy rider. So he hasn't been allowed to do much thinking on his own or to have much release under saddle. So I'm trying to give him that in these rides and let him know there IS a right answer!


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## SteadyOn

Another Diego ride today!

Not sure when I'll be back on Elle. She looks completely fine at the walk. I tried trotting her a few steps in hand yesterday, and she looked pretty awkward but I think that was mostly to do with the fact that I NEVER trot her in hand and she was going "WHAT? Why?!" and wasn't sure whether to go straight or go around me like a tiny lunging circle so I stopped that after a few steps and left well enough alone. If she just has time off until after Christmas at this point I don't think that would be a bad thing. She's been trotting on her own in the field and looks normal there too. Still a little bit of fluid puffiness near her hocks but no warmth there. She's prone to windpuffs, always has been, so even though this isn't that area exactly, I kind of wonder what "normal" looks like for her anyhow. 

However! Better to give her "too much" rest than not enough, while she heals up. So. Continuing with Diego!

Not much different today except that I did try to steer him a little more, with mixed results. In his weird "no go" areas, he blows off my inside leg -- even with a spur -- and will do whatever it takes to keep his body away from the area while pointing his head at it. Today only had one major no-go zone. The board that goes across one of the exit doors wasn't slid across this time, but was instead sitting at an angle with one end on the ground, and that was apparently cause for INTENSE CONCERN. At first he wouldn't go near it, even at a walk. I did get him to go past it eventually, but any time we came at it from a different angle he put the brakes on and contorted himself, ignoring my inside leg. Ugh. Eventually we got past it without any issue at both walk and trot.

I tried just a little bit of canter with him today, for the first time. I wasn't even sure he'd do it, given how much trouble I've had even keeping him moving well in trot, but he was more willing today so I gave it a shot. It was... a bit pathetic. Slow, short, reluctant, no momentum, on the right lead. He also decided that the change of gait was a good reason to start avoiding the out-of-place board again and kept cutting off that side of the circle. Whatever... Slightly better canter when I tried it on the left lead, at the other end of the ring. Still didn't feel like he was trying very hard, but at least it felt something like a normal stride. He fell out of it a couple of times each direction, but I made sure to get him going again and to stop when *I* said stop.

No trotting poles today. I did work him on a loose rein but just around on the rail. More work on getting him to rate himself at the trot. I'd get him into it, and leave him completely alone as long as he maintained his pace. As soon as he tried to drop back I got AFTER him and then left him immediately alone again. Rather than bump bump bump bumping him all the time with my leg. I don't want to have to pedal him like a bicycle, noooooo thank you. There were a couple of areas that he would consistently try to slow down or stop in. So I dealt with that by getting him more forward before we hit that spot, and if he'd carry on past the area without me having to push him, I'd praise and pat him. He seemed to get the memo.

Our steering is still pretty terrible, but most of it seems to be related to his no-go areas. I'm familiar, from Warwick Schiller, with the idea of destination addiction (like being drawn to the gate) and how to fix that. Destination avoidance though? Trickier... Just going to have to keep trying things out.


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## SteadyOn

Today I had my second lesson on Diego. It was fun, and funny, and he was a bit naughty, but nothing scary and I was proud of myself for keeping calm and riding through it!

Things started out normally, and he was mostly pretty good but I did have to get after him for my first couple of trot transitions, as he tried to suck back and drop back into walk. He was also really falling in on the corners and ignoring my inside leg. There were a few points where I got a REALLY good, big, forward trot out of him. The most forward momentum I've had out of him yet, haha! We played with getting him to lengthen out and collect up within trot -- without losing the gait altogether. However, he suddenly decided to be a butthead about going past the gate, at which point he threw a couple of his biggest tantrums yet! Waggling his head down, humping his back up and giving me a couple of crow hops in place. As bucking-type behaviour goes, it was pretty pathetic and he didn't even budge my seat. Apparently this is as "BIG" as he gets with any of this, so that was fine. I really didn't lose my cool at all -- just zinged him with the crop a few times while adding LEG LEG LEG until he moved forward out of it. I wasn't actually scared for even a second. The rider I was last year, or even six months ago, would NOT have been so chill about it!!! A ride like that would have been my LAST ride on him!

While the fights were bigger this ride, there were fewer of them and he went a lot better for me otherwise. He pulled some version of the crow-hopping evasion two or three times. But other than that, a smart zing on the shoulder whenever he started to stiffen and slow down was enough. (He's too desensitized to the whip on his rump, so the shoulder gets more of a reaction.) I'm already able to back off some of my too-frequent GOOOOOOO aids so that will hopefully continue to improve.

We also did some canter work! While I had tried a tiny bit of it last ride, it wasn't much and it was pretty pathetic. Today though I got him on some nice big 20m circles. His canter is really lovely! He goes better with a slightly forward seat, and to get him really moving my coach told me to "take your whole leg off and give him big flapping kicks like you're a barrel racer!" Which was both funny and effective! It wasn't pretty but he went around nicely for me like that! His stride is longer on his left lead, but I found it easier to keep going on his right lead. Weird. My butt barely moved in the saddle though, even when we were getting bigger strides. He's really comfy!

Interestingly, he had NO no-go zones today. My main issues were with him cutting corners on me, and just blowing off my inside leg and falling in on the turns. With Elle, to keep her from leaning in and cutting her corners, I just have to put on inside leg and lift my inside rein and that pushes her over. That move-over rein aid doesn't work on Diego, though, and I found I kept contorting myself excessively to try to move him over. I kept over-using the inside rein to a point where I was actually crossing his neck to the outside with it, so I wound up actually riding with it low and stuck out a foot to the inside JUST to stop myself from doing that. However, I found that if I kept a low, open outside rein too, it did help him move over more. So, at least for the short term, I'll use my reins like I would on a green horse and see if we can't maybe come to some kind of understanding. Moving my whip to my inside hand and using it behind my inside leg to emphasize moving over helped on a trot circle, so maybe I'll try the same in the corners, next ride.

Elle seems to be back to normal now, so I'm probably going to ride her tomorrow morning. I'm glad to have had this chance to get a start on Diego, though, as I'm actually quite enjoying him and will probably continue to ride both over the course of the winter.


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## SteadyOn

Back on Elle today! My coach and I actually rode together. She rode Diego. In hindsight it would have done me good to watch them more to see how he looked while BEING ridden, but I was pretty focused on myself -- and on not crashing into her since I'm REALLY not used to sharing the ring!! 

Elle felt good! Nice big easy trot. Didn't have to pump her too much. Canter felt pretty awful but it felt pretty awful before this bit of time off, too. Just need to get her fitter again and it should come together. Her canter felt awful this time last year, too.

Interesting side effects of having ridden Diego for the last couple of weeks: my hands were in a MUCH better position. Lower, wider, more independent, and following better. Also, I was quicker to use the dressage whip and wasn't half-assed about it when I did. I hadn't realized, really, just how much I'd been holding back about using it on her, which was rendering it totally useless. Today if she ignored my leg I gave her a good tap, got the response, and left her alone. I didn't flail it in the air, or smack my boot instead, or nag her with it uselessly. It was good! I think more assertiveness in my riding is looking good on me, and on her.

My coach is going to continue with me on BOTH horses, which is exciting! I think I can really apply what I learn from each of them and become better at working with both!


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## SteadyOn

*Two days, two horses*

Yesterday I rode for the first time in a week. Elle is still going really well and is fully recovered from whatever she did to herself three and a half weeks ago. In fact, she's going better than she was BEFORE she tweaked her hocks, so that's great!

One week ago her canter was feeling really unbalanced and on the forehand -- but at least not really stiff and weird like it had been before this little break. But yesterday, despite sloppy transitions, the canter itself felt the best it had since early October!!

Over all, good ride. While I did canter a bit, I mostly focused on some forward trot. I finished up with some no-stirrups sitting trot. I also shared the ring during the ride with someone who was taking a lesson. I am NOT USED TO riding with others, so on the one hand it was good for me but on the other hand, kind of nerve-wracking and I was so fixated on the idea of not getting in the other rider's way that I think I put myself MORE in her way by trying to get OUT of her way. Ack!!!

Today I rode Diego. My morning was a bit of a rough, late start. Got up later than I meant to, then felt sick to my stomach and was half an hour later than usual getting to the barn. My coach texted to ask how my ride went... before I had even finished tacking up. 

Ride was... okay? It was short and I didn't push too much. He was in a cranky mood the whole time I was tacking up, and kept putting his ears back and pulling faces. When I got to bridling him, his bit was sitting a little bit too high, but there wasn't a hole to put it down to, so I had to make do. It wasn't super uncomfortably high or anything (wouldn't have ridden if it had been) but higher than he was used to, and it affected him somewhat in the ride, I think, by him being less interested in stretching down to the contact. Next time I ride him I'll swap back to the other bridle, I think.

The ride was, otherwise, okaaay. I had trouble adjusting my stirrups, as they were too short when I got on and they were nearly impossible to adjust from the saddle. By the time I thought they were "even" it turned out my right one was a hole shorter than my left. Crap. Didn't make for the most comfortable ride... but my right leg is tighter than my left so my right stirrup feeling a bit short is "normal" even when they're totally level.

No major fights. Didn't need to use my spurs much. He got ****y about the gate and about one corner and needed a couple of good thwacks with the crop and after that he stopped testing me and was cooperative. I'm having major problems with him blowing off my inside leg and falling in on turns, so I'll need to work with my coach on fixing that, as "more inside leg" isn't fixing it.

I did one very clever and effective thing with him today, though! There's one long side and corner that he always cuts in on and avoids when I ride him. I have to put my inside leg back and shove his haunches out and micromanage his head to keep him on the wall and try to get him into the corner there and it's no fun contorting myself and can't be pleasant for him either. SO! In a moment of "make the wrong thing hard and the right thing easy" inspiration, I got him into a good trot and did a series of loop-backs (half circle off the wall, diagonal return to the wall, changing direction) that were quite tight, back and forth and back and forth along that wall. The loop backs were a lot easier for him if he used the rail and used the depth of the corner to give himself more space to make that turn and balance himself! Worked like a charm and after a BUNCH of repetition of that, he cruised around on the rail and into that corner with no fighting and no contortions. Phew! Nice to find a solution that doesn't just involve jamming on and wearing out my aids!!

So far this month I've ridden 11 times. Going to see if I can maybe squeeze in one more ride before NYE and make it an even dozen!

In the meantime... CRAP do I ever hurt. I'm not used to being sore after rides, but apparently just that one week off messed me up. How did I used to just do a weekly lesson?? Oh, that's right. They ALL felt like murder on my body!!


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## SteadyOn

Just a quick recap of yesterday's ride, as I'm about to leave on vacation!!!

Rode Elle. She was, again, feeling quite good! Her canter was more even and a little more together than the other day, so we did two full laps of the arena in each direction, then a couple circles each way later in the ride. Wanted to push her just enough that we can start getting her canter more fit again.

She was cutting corners badly in the trot, so we practiced trotting straight into the wall and halting at the last possible second. Harumph. I hate it, she definitely hates it, but it gets her paying attention... and actually using her corners!

I've been feeling a bit crooked in the last couple rides, so spent my cooling out time trying to let her motion swing my hips in an exaggerated way. I definitely had more swing in my left hip than my right, so worked in relaxing that right hip and letting it move. I also focused on REALLY relaxing my, well, butt muscles in the saddle. I think I sometimes carry more tension there than is necessary. I also dorked around a bit with neck-reining, which Elle does surprisingly well for a horse that has NEVER been taught it, to my knowledge.

Over all, a good ride. But. Unfortunately holiday stress, plus a week without riding followed by three days in a row of riding really screwed my back up. However, hopefully a week in the sunshine will make me feel right again!!

And I'm pleased that I managed an even dozen rides in December!


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## SteadyOn

*Adventures in the sunny south*

The good news: I just got back from a week in Florida! It was a great time, and my partner and I got up to a lot of fun. Universal Studio, mini putt, hiking, escape rooms... AND I rode not once but TWICE while we were there. Because I'm ridiculous.  Thank goodness I have patient people in my life.

The bad news: Well, for one, I came home with a cold, which is currently in my throat and chest. I have a _sexy_ pseudo-smoker's voice. Ugh. The OTHER bigger, badder news is that, while I was away, Elle sprained her hock AGAIN and this time it's so bad that she's been moved home from the winter barn for a while to recover. So, no Elle in my life for a bit! Sad, and also frustrating because she was going REALLY well again just after her most recent sprain-related hiatus. I was really looking forward to getting her fitness back up nicely but... here we are. 

So, time to keep working with Diego! He's good for me in a number of ways, and less good for me in some other ways. Which I'll get into at another point when I'm actually summarizing a ride on him. I was actually hoping to ride him this morning, but this chest cold got the best of me so I just did the morning chores today and went home afterwards. Tomorrow is another day.

I WILL however give a summary of my rides in Florida:

Ride #1: I had been debating whether to have a lesson or do a trail ride, since I could bring my partner on a trail ride whereas I knew he wouldn't want to ride with me in a lesson. Plus he's so lapsed in his riding that any lesson would be 90% about keeping him alive on the horse, and only 10% feedback for me, I figured. Not ideal. In the end, being me, I thought... WHY NOT BOTH? So, I booked us for a trail ride on our first full day of the trip. 

I rode a cute cremello mare, and he rode a paint gelding. I had asked in advance if we'd be able to do more than just a walk ride, since we could both handle ourselves at WTC, especially on trail horses in western saddles. They said they couldn't let us do more than a walk on the trail, but that we could cut loose in a clearing as part of our ride.

This we did! My fella had trouble getting his horse going. I had a lot more luck with mine and got some nice big loops of canter out of her, though our steering left a lot to be desired. I actually shot my first chest-mount gopro footage during this ride, and it's pretty funny. You can hear me mutter "Christ!" as she veers unexpectedly during one of the canters. Still, she was smooth and fun! Her jog was also absolutely lovely to sit.

The trail itself was... mostly not a trail? We rode along a road beside a highway for 70% of it. The horses were good and calm though, although the woman leading our ride was on a VERY green horse who was only off property for his second time. That was... an odd choice. Everything went fine though, except for one small spook from him that didn't prove to be contagious. My partner's horse, in a comedic interlude, took off with him back to the barn at a very, very, very slow jog part way through the ride, and needed "an adult" to come grab the horse by the bridle and point him back the right way.

Over all, C- for scenery, B+ for cute horses and a surprisingly comfy saddle, A+ for my partner actually getting back on a horse!

Ride #2: My coach knows a coach in Florida, and was kind enough to ask her for recommendations for someone in the area for a lesson. Based on that recommendation, I booked a private lesson at a really nice stable. The head coach, who had been recommended, wasn't available while I was there, but I was able to get a private lesson with the assistant coach, who was great.

I rode a cute, very small Thoroughbred who was quite lovely, though COMPLETELY different in shape and feel from anything I'm riding currently. Which was cool, because I wanted variety! He was so narrow that my legs felt like they were paddling in the air. The unusual feeling led to all my old riding tics coming back to me. Tipping forward, left shoulder popping up and forward, crossing my inside hand instead of keeping it open, etc. The stiffness in my back from around Christmas was still there, too, though not as bad. But it did contribute to some awkwardness. Also my feet kept swimming around in the stirrups, which I think was partly because I had sand all over the soles. I adjusted the length three times before settling on something that seemed to work, more or less.

He was a good little guy and very fun to ride. He would occasionally pop his shoulder out on circles, and/or slow down. He was funny because, while he wasn't a slowpoke, he would ignore your first ask to test you, and the second you followed with a single tap of the whip he'd go JUST fine and you could leave him alone for a bit. Then he'd pull the same thing five minutes later.

I had trouble finding my balance point on him, so I was a bit all over the place in the videos from the ride. One interesting bit of feedback that I haven't had before: I'm not as giving with my right hand. I tend to hold it more and not release as much, which is especially a problem when it's my inside hand. We worked on that, and by the end of the ride we managed a few big circles of really lovely canter, with me doing an exaggerated give with that inside hand when he bent and softened. Most of the ride had been very inverted and hollow, but after the canter work we finished with him reaching over his back into the contact and moving really nicely! Great note to end on. And the ride left me with a lot to think about and work on.


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## whisperbaby22

Yea, horses can vary so much in how wide they are where you sit. Some really tall horses are supprisingly narrow.


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## SteadyOn

*Treating the cause, not just the symptoms*

My cold is a lot better. I think I'm in the home stretch with this thing! So, this morning I actually DID manage to get up early and get to the barn at a reasonable time so I could ride. My energy levels and headspace were a lot better for it today.

In fact, it was a great ride!

As Elle is out of commission until further notice, Diego the reluctant Andalusian and I are going to get to know each other a lot better! I know that my coach had him going while I was away, so that is probably a big part of what felt better in today's ride. Her tune-up rides get great results! Diego was more energetic than usual, even just coming out of his stall into the cross ties. He kept lifting up one of his front feet and holding it in the air, which is his way of expressing impatience.

When I rode him, getting him moving wasn't anywhere near as big an issue as usual. I had the standard initial "NO!" from him when I first asked him to trot, and had to get briefly aggressive, but after getting him "unstuck" he was great. BIG zippy trot all over! Steering wasn't anywhere near as bad as it has been to this point, and his "no go zones" weren't really in effect today. I think partly because a HUGE line of trot poles was along the one side and around the corner where he likes to veer off and balk. If anything this goes to confirm my suspicion that his "concern" about that area is an evasion.

The one steering issue that was still in play was his tendency to want to drift off one of the walls and resistance going into the corner at the end of it. I couldn't do the loop back method I did last time to fix it, at least not as effectively as before, because of the poles along half of that wall. BUT! This actually turned out to be a good thing, becaaaaauuuuuuse... I figured something out.

He is gate sour. He'll balk at the gate. Pin his ears, slow down substantially by it or even refuse to go past it, have a fight. Not every time, but you can tell it's always on his mind.

The wall/corner where he likes to pull away isn't anywhere near the gate, really. But that's the point: he's pulling away to GET near the gate. And that somehow hadn't clicked until today's ride.

So, I put on my Warwick Schiller hat (metaphorically) and got to work on this "destination addiction" problem. The area by the gate suddenly became a MUCH less "fun" place to be. Tiny repetitive trot circles. Legs flapping, voice clucking, whip tap-tapping if he slowed down. Just basically being as annoying as possible in that area, until giving him a break by pointing him into the corner he DIDN'T want to be in, and letting him rest there and giving a pat. Rinse, repeat. Change directions. Repeat.

I tried him again on the rail and I swear he actually SPED UP to get past the gate. He was like, ughhhh, get me out of here before she has THAT idea again!!

And miraculously... he was a lot less interested in trying to veer off that wall and cut that corner. Still tried it a BIT, so I know we need to keep working on that idea, but it made a huge difference.

Up to this point I'd been trying to use my aids to push him back onto the wall and deep into that corner, but it was ridiculous. I was contorting myself. He was ignoring me. The aids were being cancelled out by his desire to drift to the gate. By only riding the symptom of the problem, I was just making him dull. By addressing the cause, I was able to get his mind back to the task at hand and Get. Him. To. MOVE. Off. My. Inside. LEG. THANK YOU.

After sorting out some of those steering problems, I then tried the only real sustained cantering I'd done on him outside of one lesson. He pinned his ears and did the "eff youuu" trot when I was first asking, but once I got him, again, "unstuck," it was great. Except that on the left rein he kept breaking out of canter at the gate. SIGH. So we kept doing canter circles until he STAYED in canter past the gate, after which he got to go to his rest corner and got some good pats.

Other notable things from the ride today:
I did lots and lots and lots of laps of trot on the buckle, and he was REALLY GOING. Fantastic!
The fights with him are fewer now but sometimes need to get bigger before they get better. He did a balk with a quarter-spin (near the gate of course) early in the ride. It surprised me, but I sat it fine. Maybe it's weird to say but I think these moments are actually good for my riding because they're making me realize I'm capable of dealing with problems and not losing my cool -- or my seat.
I also worked on him veering off the tracking by allowing him to do so but then immediately bringing the inside rein back to my hip and having him circle on the spot a few times. Rather than fighting his ideas once he has them, I'm seeing that letting him have the idea and then convincing him it wasn't a very GOOD idea is going to do more to fix these problems.
I also rode for a full hour! Wow.

As for me, I felt pretty good! I haven't really tried sitting trot before on him, but did a bit when I had him going around on the buckle and I was using the grab strap. It... wasn't easy, but it was also a BIG trot so not exactly the easiest thing to sit on him. My back stiffness is finally all gone, and while I did catch my inside hand crossing over a couple of times when I tried to push him out to the rail, I was more aware of it and could catch it and fix it. I do know that I need more time in canter with him to really have a sense of what I'm actually doing. I was too busy keeping him going/marveling at the novelty that I wasn't paying any attention to what my hands were doing and whether or not it was productive.

I may ride tomorrow too! Will see how I feel and how the time goes. REALLY liked my ride today, though! Felt productive and just, well, good!


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## whisperbaby22

Great, so glad you are having so much fun.


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## SteadyOn

*You can't go back -- Part One*

I've had four rides since my last entry, all of which were somewhat... illuminating. I won't go into great detail on all of them, but thinking back on them, I do sense a central theme.

While the past may inform what you're doing, and what your horse is doing, things change, and trying to go backwards is... an education, but ultimately tells you that forward is the right direction.

On Saturday, I joined a friend for a lesson at the stable where she rides. The lessons are geared more towards hunter/jumper, and I'm currently close to a year out from the time that a broken saddle finally "decided" my full transition into dressage lessons. (The tree of the schooling AP saddle broke, and as a "temporary" measure I borrowed my coach's dressage saddle. As soon as she saw me ride in it, a lot of pieces clicked in place, and we had a discussion about my actual goals for riding. I've been in that saddle, and discipline, ever since!)

I rode their "calm schoolie" horse (since they didn't know me from a hole in the ground) but that day there was just something in the air. You know how, in some rides, you just catch this sort of... electricity? Something is sparking the horses. In this case it was extreme cold temperatures and the fact that, for whatever reason, they hadn't had turn-out for three days. Even this "calm schoolie" was on edge. My friend had to lunge her lesson horse to take them edge off him before the ride, and whenever that horse got excited, the horse I was on was getting ramped up and would start snorting and blowing and speeding up and prancing. The instructor actually took him by the bridle and held him in the middle of the ring for a bit while my friend finished her lunging session.

The "can't go back" part of it, for me, was trying to ride in a jumping saddle after a year in dressage saddles. I immediately dropped my stirrups about three holes because riding so much shorter felt so odd, and the whole lesson consisted of the instructor telling me to ride in a more forward seat. The funny thing is... I was actually secretly chuffed. Why? Because, ever since I've been riding again these past three years, I've been fighting a tendency to default to a forward seat and really get that nice erect dressage posture. So what the instructor saw as "wrong," I saw as me finally having changed my muscle memory so that I was NOT defaulting to a hunter seat. 

I wish I could say that I felt like I rocked the rest of the lesson, but I definitely did not. I was still getting over a terrible cold, and there were a couple of times during the ride that I felt so dizzy and awful that I seriously considering tapping out and putting the horse away. I didn't. But. I really just wanted to get the ride over with, alas. The only cantering we did -- given the horses' hyperness/spookiness -- was on a 20m circle at the end of the lesson. I only got a few strides out of mine, just twice, and didn't really push it as I was feeling so awful. The coach really wanted me, during the whole lesson, to ride in a more forward seat. She also really wanted my leg further back, but in a jumping saddle with a very forward stirrup bar, that was a fight against the tack and I really didn't have it in me.

It was really nice to check out my friend's riding school, though! She was doing great and looked secure and confident on her lesson horse, even though he was being hyper and a bit anxious.

As for me? Lessons in a jump saddle aren't doing me any favours at this point in my riding. I really don't want to reestablish the forward seat habit, as I've fought SO hard to break it! As I said at the start... sometimes you just can't go back.

On Monday I was back at the barn and back on Diego. It felt great to slip back into a dressage saddle and feel that long leg and open hip that I've worked so hard to develop! Diego had his slow-poke hat on that day and we didn't get much done. Just walk and some poky trot. My coach rode with me, and it was interesting to discover that Diego's steering issues were less of a problem with another horse in the ring. I guess the gate isn't nearly as compelling if he has a buddy in there with him.

I've had two rides on him since, both of which were VERY memorable and definitely fit the theme here... but I'll tackle those in a subsequent entry!


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## SteadyOn

*You can't go back -- Part Two*

On Wednesday I had a ride on Diego that was... difficult. But thrilling, and really FUN.

I was getting a lesson on him, and his same super resistant, poky attitude from Monday was still in play. He was ignoring my leg, and ignoring all attempts to get him forward and just barely phoning in a trot. After about ten minutes of ineffective attempts to ride him into forwardness, my coach said "Okay, I'm getting up there!" So I hopped off, and she hopped on, and I watched.

Well! His usual sticky spots -- at the gate, and just past the gate -- were in play BIG time! It was nice to see I wasn't the only one having trouble with him there. My coach got AFTER him, and he tried increasingly creative evasions, including unasked-for lateral work in trot, canter, and some kind of humpy bucking gait in between. "WOW, he's REALLY acting out today! Those are some crazy kicks!" I observed. "It's no bigger than he's been doing with you," she said, and I was a bit astonished. They certainly didn't feel as big as they looked!

She put him on a very loose rein, just one-handing them, and had her whip in the other, and would get him to GO and then completely leave him alone, then get after him again when he slowed down. Big forward trot, big forward canter. Stops, slowing, and bucks and fights in between that got gradually less and less as he stopped resisting and allowed himself to move forward. As I watched he transformed from a cranky, angry little slow horse into a big beautiful mover, that Andalusian movement finally showing itself. He almost seemed to actually get BIGGER as I watched! And I realized how much he had been holding back -- and how much I had been holding back, too!

After many laps of good FORWARD work, I hopped back on and it was my turn. I wish I could say I didn't have a fight with him, but that's not the case. It was much less of a fight, but he did get a few big kick-outs in! One actually unseated me a bit and I was glad to have the grab strap. However! To my own astonishment, I really wasn't scared throughout any of this. My seat felt pretty good, and the saddle is a nice deep and well-built dressage saddle that feels extremely secure. As someone who is a cautious and traditionally VERY nervous rider, I astonished myself by not backing down, and by doing what I needed to do to win the battle and get him GOING.

Half-spins and kicks out of the way, the FUN part of the lesson started. I had one task: make him MOVE! And other than getting him going forward, all I had to do was stay on and enjoy the ride. My coach was in the centre with a lunge whip, in case he needed more encouragement than I could give him. I held the reins VERY loosely in one hand, along with the grab strap, and held the whip in the other. And it was GO time!

Imagine a lunge lesson with no lunge line. That's basically what ensued! BIIIIIIIIG trot, transitions in and out of it with seat only, just zooming around in a big oval around the arena. After we got the trot going, we added canter and I felt like I was on a crazy carousel horse. His canter is so smooth and rolling and lovely, and I was able to sit on top of it and adjust my body as I found the motion and really went with it. With no worries about steering, I just let him carry me and my only job was to apply the "gas pedal" as needed. Once I got comfortable I was able to have less tension on the grab strap and relax myself and just be carried.

So, this is HUGE for me, as I'm big on always having every ounce of control available to me during a ride. Several of my first falls were due to bolting, so just abandoning the reins and focusing on making a horse GO, and not trying to micromanage, was an act of bravery for me. Sitting those bucks early in the ride was, too. And finding the whole experience actually FUN??? I've definitely grown.

I rode again the next day, and while it wasn't a lesson, my coach was riding at the same time too and gave me a bit of a freebie mini-lesson. Diego was being nappy again and he gave me some really good bucks and kicks when I tried to get him forward, so she instructed me on the same thing again. Just putting the reins on the buckle and getting him to GO! I was able to relax even more, and once again, the big laps of forward canter once I got them were so lovely. I didn't feel afraid throughout any of it, and once again, go the job done.

I don't want to go back to being a scared person who thinks every wrong move a horse makes is going to kill me. I'm glad this horse came along at a point in my riding where I actually have the tools -- physical and mental -- to handle the challenges he's presenting.

As for the horse... I found an old video of him being ridden by his original trainers. The horse is in rollkur (real rollkur, I mean, his chin is about an inch away from his chest and he's as far behind the vertical as it's physically possible to get) in a curb bit and being nagged incessantly with the whip by his rider. Somehow through all this he's still performing upper level movements in the video, although angrily and frenetically (which is understandable). Piaffe, passage, tempes, half passes, etc... but it's abusive and sad, not elegant. So his resistance and lack of forwardness come from an understandable place. I didn't know all this when I started riding him on a completely loose rein, but it's interesting that that instinct proved to be right with the horrible overflexion now taken into account.

No going back for me, and no going back for him. Just forward, hopefully, in all senses!!


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## SteadyOn

*Diego regresses, and progresses*

I've had a few rides (including one on an artificial horse!) since my last update here. Whoops! This week has been crazy, so I haven't had the energy or time to post updates.

Last weekend, a good friend of mine, with whom I used to ride as a teen, came to visit, and we had two riding lessons together. We actually both rode Diego! On the Saturday, my coach got on him first and got him warmed up for us, and my friend went first and had a lesson on him just doing walk-trot while she got used to him. He's a weird horse and it definitely takes a few rides to start to understand his crazy little brain! She did VERY well. Definitely better than I did in my first ride on him. He loves to cut corners, loves to hold back and fall out of gaits. His favourite speed is stop. She also used spurs with him, which was good practice for her as she's only been using them again for the last month or so in her regular lessons. She did a great job getting him tight into most of his corners. While it does take working HARD to ride him, she did amazingly!

The next morning we both rode him again for our lesson, but this time my coach didn't ride him, and I went first. I'm getting used to having little fights with him now to get him "unstuck." He wasn't too bad though. A couple of little kick-outs in protest, but nothing terribly dramatic. He goes more willingly on the left rein -- even when asked for right lead canter, which is bizarre but true. So after we got him going well in left lead canter, I stayed going to the left on him, and asked him for the right lead to ride him in counter canter. It was so strange to have him give me that with less fight than he gives when cantering right lead to the right!! Once I figured out his buttons for it, we tried to have me keep him in counter canter and then take him across the diagonal, keep the canter and proceed to the right.

It, uh, took me about 30 tries and the time I DID get it, I BARELY got it. I haven't done a lot of work in counter canter, and when you add that inexperience to his steering issues and the fact that he will use ANY excuse to drop down a gait, well... But I DID finally GET it!!! So that was great!

Afterwards, my friend rode him and tried out his canter too, though she only rode him on the left rein, left lead, as it was her first time trying it out with him. He does have a LOVELY canter -- when he actually goes!!

The two weekend lessons were a LOT of work for me, and most especially for Diego, so I gave us both the next two days off and rode him again on Wednesday. Well!! He was NOT feeling like going forward nicely, so it was a pretty work-intensive ride. But I was feeling strong and confident, and I pushed him through some really stubborn moments. HOWEVER. He really did NOT want to pick up a right lead canter to the right, and did some BIIIIG dramatic two-legged kicks and bucks when I asked. Thank goodness for the grab strap! Now, as much as I can be a nervous rider, I'm also stubborn as heck and will NOT lose a fight with a horse if I can help it, so I persisted through the big kicks and got that right lead canter. He protested to various degrees the first few times I asked for it. So. I worked on making an EASY transition worth his while, and would bring him back down as soon as he gave me a nice depart. Did this over and over and over again until it was easy. I also made a point of ALWAYS asking for one of the departs at the gate, as he's gate sour and if it doesn't get tempered it affects his speed and steering the whole ride! (Pretty much any time we pass the gate, if he does anything to try to slow down whatsoever, I get after him and make sure he does extra work there. If he's neutral about it I leave him alone.)

I felt pretty proud of myself for sitting the kick-outs, and for persevering through it and getting a good result. I didn't feel unnerved by it really at all, which is unusual for me.

The next day I went out and had a lesson on a horse simulator (!!!), which you can read about in this thread: https://www.horseforum.com/dressage/i-rode-fake-horse-today-ask-800405/

Yesterday, I decided to really look at Diego carefully and see if I could find any area of discomfort that might be contributing to his weird right lead issue. I curried him very firmly to see if he reacted anywhere, but he didn't. I poked and prodded all over, but didn't find any areas of muscle pain. After I had him tacked up, I decided to lunge him before the ride so I could really look at his movement.

Wellllll... I was glad I lunged him!!! It was much windier than I expected, and the wind was rattling and banging the sides of the arena. He was high-headed and blowing as he went around. I worked him to the left first, thinking I'd get him really warmed up before putting him on his more resistant side, to see if it helped at all. Well! He was an absolute tool. There's one end of the ring that he likes to cut off when you're riding him, and he went around doing the same thing on the lunge. I tried to push him out by pointing the whip at his barrel, and then flicking him with it when he ignored me, and he decided to throw a tantrum about that. He did a spook-kick-buck thing, ripped the line out of my hand, and went off trotting FAST like an oversized roadster pony, line dragging behind him. Ugggghhhhhh. Fortunately I was able to grab it and get him back before he stepped on it and hurt himself. After that the lunging went a bit better, but he was still very UP and snorty. His trot and canter were BIG and FORWARD to the left. Actually, his canter departs were a bit... overenthusiastic that direction. I was glad I wasn't on board for them, as he basically blasted off and scooted around unbalanced each time. I think anyone who has lunged a nervous/energetic horse has seen this delightful gait...

Once he had his brain back in his head a bit, I worked on making him do upwards transitions into canter near the gate, and his downwards transitions in the side where he normally cuts in. Lo and behold... that end got a little more appealing and he stopped cutting in so badly on the circle. I love it when things actually work!!!

I switched him to his right side, and... the fighting began, but this time it was the fight to make him MOVE. In fairness he had been blasting around so much the other way that he was pretty tired by the time I switched him, but next time I'll know to change the order in which I do things. He was VERY poky this way, and I had to reeeeally get after him to get him to canter that direction. He would either kick out in protest, or just do the "screw you" fast trot to avoid the canter depart. Eventually got it though!! I worked on the same idea this way too: just get the depart, be nice about it, and you can come back down. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Lots of upwards transitions in the gate area. Lots of downwards transitions in the "bad" end of the ring. Pretty soon he seemed to forget entirely about cutting off that part of the circle! Yay!!!!! As he got tired he became nearly impossible to push into canter, but I made sure to just get one or two more quality departs before calling it a day with the lunging.

By that point, I was thinking I wouldn't ride him at all that day since he had been such a spooky weirdo at the start, and had done a lot of work, but I hopped up anyhow for about another five minutes and just rode him around doing walk-trot transitions just to get him off my leg. It went well, even though we were both tired, and at one point he even popped up into trot without me asking! A pretty wildly out of character moment for mister slowpoke! Maybe he's starting to wake up a bit!

I had a lesson today that I'll write about soon, too, that showed some interesting results from the ride and the lunging session -- though I didn't really get to enjoy those results as I was an exhausted, nervous mess -- but I'll recap that later as this is getting LONG!!


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## SteadyOn

*No good very bad great day*

So, to belatedly recap last Saturday's lesson...

I was a mess. I mean, I don't think I rode *horribly*, but I definitely didn't ride *well* either. But I mean... mentally a mess. I was exhausted, stressed out, feeling out of sorts from the weather extremes lately... and generally not in a good head space.

I spent the lesson unnerved. Leaning forward defensively. Clutching the grab strap even though Diego didn't actually do a single thing wrong the whole ride. This time! I was far more scattered, fearful, and nervous than I had been two rides previous when he was kicking up both hind legs like he was trying to take out the ceiling lights. Those I rode through fine, got the job done, and got those canter transitions that he did NOT want to give me.

This lesson though? Zero fights. He blew off my ask by doing the EFF YOU fast trot at first, but didn't actually do anything dirty this time. But me? I could NOT get it together in my head at all. And as a result, brain and body were not communicating.

We tried, for a bit, to do the exercise we had done in my previous lesson, where I would ask for a counter canter (right lead) while going left, in order to get some drama-free transitions before asking for right lead to the right. (He has a mental block about his first few canter transitions in right lead going right. It's odd. And his lack of resistance in striking off to the right with a right bend while he thinks he's going left tells us it IS a mental thing.) But I just could NOT. I kept having to stop and regroup until it became clear that, despite good intentions, I was just going to park on the rail in a halt with this thousand-yard stare.

Soooo we skipped the right-lead counter canter and went straight to the right lead to the right, and got NO kickouts at all. So! This is where the positive part of the lesson comes in. Wait for it...

I think the work I did with him earlier in the week really paid off!!!!

When I had the ride with his big dramatic kick-outs, I threw away my reins and steering and just went "WHATEVER!" and decided that, whatever the hell it took, we were going to get those right lead canter transitions to the right, and that as soon as I got the depart, I would completely leave him alone and he could drop back if he wanted. So, give me the depart and you can have immediate release! And I had drilled that over and over and over until he was relaxed and they came easily. When I lunged him two days later, same thing (though not quite as successfully, but it was a windy and weird day). On both occasions, I also made sure to ask for harder work at the gate, and give him praise and easier work in the "bad" end of the arena.

Well, despite how wretched *I* was the day of the lesson, that work I did paid off by giving me a horse that day who A) gave me right/right canter departs with only about 10% resistance instead of 85% resistance, B) didn't stop and/or fight me at the gate, C) did not avoid the "bad" end of the arena!!!!!

And so, while I might have been a mess that day, at least I know I'm on the right track so far with schooling him. Whew!!


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## SteadyOn

*In which Diego is a creatively conniving little twerp*

Well, I rode Diego on Tuesday for the first time in a week and a half, as I had been away until last Friday. I did lunge him on the Friday and Saturday, but had been too stressed and exhausted to get in the saddle. So, anyhow, Tuesday's ride... WOWWWWW.

He was an absolute butt. While he didn't do the extremely dramatic kick-outs he had done a couple of weeks prior, he was generally actually worse because, at least during that ride, I was able to fight him through it and get a good result. But on THIS ride, he just had all kinds of NO!

I swear I got on him with good intentions. I thought, we've both had a bit of time off so let's just have a nice relaxed ride. Ummmmm. Well, you'll see how that turned out.

I started with a very long walk warm-up, probably about ten minutes of forward, relaxed walk around the arena on the rail. That was fine. Then I decided to just test out my walk to trot transitions by doing a consistent leg-then-spur to see if I could get any transitions off just the leg if I was consistent. I eventually got... some. But the trot I got was a very poky, low quality trot. Still, as long as I got the depart I let it count and would reward him by immediately bringing him back. When I finally did ask for sustained trot he was sucking back and not giving me any forward, and I had to work VERY hard to try to get any real effort out of him. Ugh. You know that wonderful experience where you're puffing and sweating and exhausting yourself and the horse hasn't broken a sweat or even started breathing heavier? Yeah, that.

Anyhow, he eventually got an okay trot going and I thought we were through it. This is where I got slightly too ambitious, in hindsight, but I had no idea that I was about to unleash a whole new kind of HECK NOPE from him. So, I HAD been working a lot on canter departs during the lunge sessions, and I thought, okay I'll see if that helped with the ridden work. So... I asked for canter. He stiffened up and made angry faces and got crooked and gave me pony trot and threatened to kick out but I eventually got a couple of transitions. They were absolutely awful, but they HAPPENED, so I praised him when they did and immediately took all pressure off to show him that was the answer. Pause a bit. Repeat. Change sides...

Now, let me just pause here to remind you, gentle reader, that this horse was at one time trained to Prix St. George levels and could do tempes. He's by no means confused by canter aids. But then he was owned for years by someone who would stop riding and hop off of him whenever he said NO. It's not "I don't know how." It's "Screw you for asking."

So, to the right... This is the side that he is most prone to a big dramatic kick-out or two when asked for canter. Meaning, the trade-off for fighting through that is to basically forgo steering with the reins to keep hold of the bucking strap and stay on. So, I left my reins fairly loose, grabbed the strap in one hand and had the whip in the other to back up my ask... And Diego worked out a new tactic to avoid going forward. Crash into things! There were trotting poles out, and cavaletti, and a couple of jump standards. When I would ask for right lead canter, he would suddenly turn sharply right and head straight into an obstacle. "Sorry ma'am, but HOW can I be expected to canter with this POST in the way? You must be BLIND!" Points for ingenuity, sir. He even tried to run us into the wall. 

And, unfortunately, because I asked for that canter depart... I had to get it. So my "relaxed" ride turned into me basically going "RAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!" and getting big and doing whatever it took to get that canter. Get it, keep it this time, and keep him IN it through the section where he had tried to veer off and crash into things. Which took a few tries. And he was kicking out when I got after him to stay in canter, and I kept at him anyhow... And after two passes where he did NOT break canter in that section, whether he kicked out or not, I called it "good enough!!" and cooled him out. I mean, I did "win" in the end... Sort of...

*headdesk*

I miss Elle. I miss my relaxed, productive rides on her where I could really get into a zone. I miss how even and steady she is, how generally willing. The bond and the work of over three years with her. I know in some ways the challenge of riding Diego is good for me but he's exhausting, and I feel like I'm really losing my form because I have to work so hard on him that I have no energy to work on myself. I'm too tired to have the big fights with him and I'm feeling really bummed out. This upcoming year was supposed to finally be my turn to have a show season on Elle and we don't even know if she'll be sound for it. I had told myself that I would consider buying myself a horse if/when Elle was retired, but I'm in absolutely no position to do that right now and don't think I will be for at least several more years.

Maybe she'll be fine. Who knows. But it's not sounding good. And she'll have lost all kinds of fitness from having the winter off. And I'll have lost a lot of my fitness and relaxation too. Last year she was going far better, and looking far better, than she had been for YEARS, and someone else wound up part-leasing and showing her and I missed the chance. Fingers crossed for a positive outcome ahead.

I had a slightly better ride today, but I'll save that for another post!


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## whisperbaby22

This is just part of horsemanship. We all at some point loose the horse that we just seem to "click" with. But Diego does have a lot of baggage, there are some hard decisions this year for you.


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## SteadyOn

whisperbaby22 said:


> This is just part of horsemanship. We all at some point loose the horse that we just seem to "click" with. But Diego does have a lot of baggage, there are some hard decisions this year for you.


Thanks! Yeah, it's a weird time for sure. On the one hand, I was starting to feel like I'd done as much as I could with Elle and that if I really wanted to become a "better" rider I needed to expand my horizons a bit. On the other hand... she's by far the best, most talented, most chill-but-willing horse I've ever ridden, so everything else feels like such a rude awakening. I know I need to get out of my comfort zone but I wish it had happened maybe... *after* finally having a show season with her. Oh well. Who knows what will happen down the road!


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## knightrider

Does your instructor have another horse you could ride? Riding is supposed to be FUN, and it doesn't sound like Diego is much fun. It would be one thing if your goal was to train him and get him moving nicely. But that is not your goal. Your goal, in my opinion, is to learn to ride better. Any chance you could ride a horse that helps you learn to ride better?


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## SteadyOn

knightrider said:


> Does your instructor have another horse you could ride? Riding is supposed to be FUN, and it doesn't sound like Diego is much fun. It would be one thing if your goal was to train him and get him moving nicely. But that is not your goal. Your goal, in my opinion, is to learn to ride better. Any chance you could ride a horse that helps you learn to ride better?


Really appreciate your comment and largely I agree!

But, you know, it's funny. I'm having a bit of a love/hate experience with him right now. When he's good, he's very very good, and when he's bad, he's... not exactly horrid, but it's a frustrating experience! While he's not the horse I'd pick by any means, I'm making the most of it right now. I was feeling REALLY negative when I wrote my last entries here and having an awful week with him. Things are going a bit better now though, and I'm choosing to see it as a learning experience. And as much as he can be an absolute turd at times, he's really quite a SAFE horse. No one has ever fallen off of him. Ever. And he's 14 years old with a LOT of miles on him. His kickouts and little tantrums look dramatic, but they don't really budge your seat. And he never spooks under saddle. My two biggest hangups with riding are spooking, and being taken off with. Given his favourite speed is stop, I definitely don't have to worry about the latter, either! :lol:

There are two other horses I'll be able to ride once we leave the winter barn: Elle if she's sound again by then (we're cautiously optimistic) and Bambi, who has just been spending the winter being a hairy yak out in the field and will need to be gotten back into shape in the spring. Right now, even if I were to insist on swapping horses, I couldn't, as the roads are terrible and trailering Diego out and Bambi in isn't safe. So, we wait.

When I can keep my head on straight and stay calm and think through the problems with Diego, I think I can get some really helpful takeaway from this experience. I KNOW how to ride a horse that goes straight, listens to every aid, and doesn't need the rider to compensate for anything. Elle is about as perfect a horse as they come. She's absolutely push button, I know everything about her and what aids work, and I can practically make her dance on the head of a pin. I love riding her, but I think in some ways I maxed out on what I can glean from her and it's not bad for me to broaden my horizons a bit and face the challenges that other horses can present. Nowwwww... I wouldn't have picked a super resistant cranky horse who likes to kick out when you ask him for perfectly reasonable things....... but change isn't necessarily bad. For now. At least that's what I'm telling myself until I get through this. :wink:


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## SteadyOn

So, I haven't been updating recently because my life has been pretty nuts, but I actually had a GREAT week with him two weeks ago. Following the last entry in which I had been SUPER frustrated with him, I had two REALLY good lessons with my coach, who also went over how to lunge him correctly (which made a HUUUUGE difference). She also got me steering him MUCH better!! Hooray!!! 

After that he went SO well, the whole following week. I lunged him thoroughly before every ride and really focused on getting snappy transitions. He had a few moments of kicking out, and expressing some attitude, but then he was a total gem under saddle and during four rides, he only did one tiny half-hearted kick, just once, on the last day. 

So that whole week was me riding on my own. Then this week I had two lessons with him and he was back to being a bit of a turd. He absolutely refused to canter yesterday, and my coach got on him and rode him VERY forward around the arena a few laps both directions. She was getting resistance and attitude from him too, but she's better equipped to ride it out. He did a few kickouts with her, but he did get REALLY moving. I got back on him and did a couple pretty half-assed canters, but at least he gave them to me. My coach pointed out that the more he's resisting, the more I'm getting frustrated and getting tense and clamping, which makes him resist even more because he's very sensitive to body cues.

Today he was trying the same thing: would NOT CANTER no matter what I did. Would just pull me around in a weird little circle and do a hunchy little angry pony trot when I asked. I tried escalating things at first, but he was having none of that either. So I stopped, took a breath, composed myself and just applied the canter aids and HELD THEM until he cantered, then let go the second I got the depart. Did a piiiiile of these each way, just getting the depart and immediately releasing all pressure. He immediately dropped back each time but that was fine as that was his reward for actually giving me the depart. I also threw in a couple of full circles each direction so he didn't think he ALWAYS got to drop back out of canter right away. But mostly I just did pressure-release to get the depart and it got SOOOO much better. It's VERY clear that he's not confused by how I'm asking him to canter. He's just saying NO because he thinks it's always going to lead to him having to canter laps and laps and laps. So by giving him immediate release after many of the departs, I think he has a lot more incentive to actually just DO the thing.

I think in his background he's been trained in a way that didn't provide much if any release from pressure. So I think that might be the ticket to getting him happier and more willing. He can be very lazy, but there ARE ways to play that one's advantage, so I'm going to keep working on the snappy short canter departs and see if we can get through this new phase of NO from him.

Generally his steering issues have improved by about 70% since my coach set us straight, too, so that's been huuuuuuuge.


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## SteadyOn

So, I haven't updated in a while because I haven't been riding much this month. Life got craaaaaazy. I also get seasonal affective disorder every year, and for some reason March is always one of the hardest months for me -- even though the days have started getting longer. Go figure. I've had very little energy and a totally crap attitude about... well, everything. But on top of the stresses I just didn't really feel like dealing with Diego's attitude under saddle, so I just let us both have a breather.

I didn't even particularly feel like riding this morning, but as I hadn't ridden since a lesson I had back on the 6th, I figure it was time to dust off my boots and get back to it.

Spoiler: it was actually a really good ride!!

Diego has, historically, not done well with coming back from time off. Even going a weekend without being ridden always led to a sticky Monday morning. So I was expecting the ride today to SUUUUUUCK and that I'd just have to get through it.

I longed him really thoroughly first. He was a bit stiff and did his best impression of a Western Pleasure horse at canter, but other than one or two dramatic kick-out moments he had no attitude and was pretty responsive. He warmed out of everything and started moving better, so I hopped on and did a short ride.

I barely had to touch him with the whip today, which was great. I started out with just walking on the rail. He put the brakes on in the usual places that he doesn't like at the start of every ride. I let him be weird about it on the first pass ONLY, then got more firm with him about going into those areas after. A little "tap tap" on his bum got him moving again there without histrionics.

After some good walking, I worked on just getting him to trot off my leg and then letting him come back. Did dozens of these. Just leg, touch with spur, squeeze with spur, trot off! Repeat, repeat. The goals is to get him to go off the leg without having to escalate to actually pressing the spurs in but there's work to do there. :/

I am VERY pleased to report that we had totally undramatic canters today, in BOTH directions! He wasn't sticky to either direction!! Normally his right lead canter really sucks, and he's most likely to kick out when asked for it in the direction. But today? Nothing. I did have a little hesitancy from him on the very first request for canter, but that's normal for him, and it wasn't AS bad as it often is. After that initial "no" from him it was all quite good and I got it without badgering him or using the whip.

In fact, in the whole ride he thought about kicking out exactly ONCE, but didn't get any farther with that than just humping his back up slightly -- but then he just let it go and kept moving. Very proud of him!

After the canter work he was much more forward in trot, and I was able to get him to trot off in a really nice, snappy way with JUST my leg!! So good!

The other nice thing about this ride: his saddle was away being cleaned, so I used the one I had been using for ages on Elle. WOW! I used to think I liked Diego's saddle, but I had noticed my hips were tight and my lower back was sore after my rides on him. I assumed I was holding tension because I found him stressful to ride. But after switching back for the ride today I realize that his regular saddle actually wasn't doing me any favours. My lower back felt much better this ride, and my hips were open, swinging, and relaxed. Unfortunately, because of how the other saddle was holding me, I've lost a lot of core strength, and strength in the stabilizing muscles in my seat. Crap. But at least I know what happened, so now I can work on fixing them again!! I hope I'll be allowed to keep using this saddle instead, as I think both he and I did better with it. Will see!


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## knightrider

> I just didn't really feel like dealing with Diego's attitude under saddle, so I just let us both have a breather.


I've been thinking and thinking about your journal entry. Horses always cheer me up and give me energy. I wonder if you want to continue riding Diego or if you would have a better time riding a different horse. Surely your instructor has more than one suitable horse for you to ride?

Or maybe you actually prefer the challenge of riding Diego? It would be so sad if not liking a certain horse made you give up riding.

Would it help you if you made a list of pros and cons to riding Diego? Maybe that would give you the impetus to ask for a different horse . . . or maybe it would encourage you to want to ride Diego.

There are certain horses in this world that I don't care all that much to ride--and other horses that I just can't wait to ride.

Also, I take my daughter's friend riding twice a week. I have one horse that everybody just loves to ride, and as this young person improved in her riding, I decided she was competent enough to ride this fun and fine mare. On her ride that day, the mare bolted with her and she told me she just didn't feel comfortable riding her. I never asked her to ride that horse again. Why ask her to ride a horse on which she is not comfortable when I have other horses that she loves? Perhaps if she looked forward to the challenge and WANTED to ride that mare . . . but she doesn't.

It doesn't really sound like you look forward to the challenge of Diego. What are your thoughts on this?


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## SteadyOn

knightrider said:


> I've been thinking and thinking about your journal entry. Horses always cheer me up and give me energy. I wonder if you want to continue riding Diego or if you would have a better time riding a different horse. Surely your instructor has more than one suitable horse for you to ride?
> 
> Or maybe you actually prefer the challenge of riding Diego? It would be so sad if not liking a certain horse made you give up riding.
> 
> Would it help you if you made a list of pros and cons to riding Diego? Maybe that would give you the impetus to ask for a different horse . . . or maybe it would encourage you to want to ride Diego.
> 
> There are certain horses in this world that I don't care all that much to ride--and other horses that I just can't wait to ride.
> 
> Also, I take my daughter's friend riding twice a week. I have one horse that everybody just loves to ride, and as this young person improved in her riding, I decided she was competent enough to ride this fun and fine mare. On her ride that day, the mare bolted with her and she told me she just didn't feel comfortable riding her. I never asked her to ride that horse again. Why ask her to ride a horse on which she is not comfortable when I have other horses that she loves? Perhaps if she looked forward to the challenge and WANTED to ride that mare . . . but she doesn't.
> 
> It doesn't really sound like you look forward to the challenge of Diego. What are your thoughts on this?


Thanks for your thoughts on this! I appreciate it. It's always good to have someone else's perspective, especially because, where I ride, things are very... solo. I have private lessons, and my rides outside of lesson times are almost always on my own, too.

One thing that's consistent for me in riding: my stress levels from other parts of my life have a definite, noticeable effect on my physicality and mentality when I'm in the saddle. My coach can look at my position and tell right away if I'm having a bad week. I'm also much more easily frustrated or shut down during my rides if everything else feels like it's blowing up around me. And my March has been AWFUL until this week.

When I'm in a good place, the challenges of Diego are... fine. Fun, sometimes. I like having a puzzle to solve, and when I have a clear head I can think things through and make discoveries with him. And he and I are generally getting a LOT better. The things I'm trying with him seem to be working, and when I hit an impasse, my coach has really turned things around. She did a lot to fix the steering issues I've had with him, and our lungeing is about 1000% better. And I think in some ways I'm actually doing better with him than she expected. His stickiness to the right in canter is a long-established thing, and lately it seems like it's not even an issue. It also used to be necessary to get through one or two fights with him early in the ride where he would put the brakes on, hunch up, and kick out, especially by the gate. The gate sourness is GONE now, with the exception of a slight tendency to drift that way on the lunge.

His last owner was an elderly woman who had poor muscle control and balance. Her legs and hands were constantly busy and he got loads of unintentional aids and spur jabs. So his dullness and frustration come from an honest place.

He's an absolute sweetheart to handle and lead and interact with on the ground, and in yesterday's ride I actually felt a bit of that willingness and sweetness under saddle, so I do have hope for things to improve.

None of which really answers the questions you were asking, I just realized. Oops, sorry! But!

The good news is, this is only temporary and come May, if I really am feeling fed up, we'll be back at the home barn and I can go back to riding Elle and/or Bambi. Elle will need to be brought back into work pretty gently, I expect, but that'll be a great time to also work on some no-stirrups sitting trot and get my muscles back. And Bambi, while she is quirky, is generally a good forward ride, so if I just want to zip around and feel some wind in my face, she'll be there too. 

And I absolutely hear what you say about not wanting to ride certain horses!! My coach's horse is absolutely gorgeous. A big lanky warmblood with beautiful movement. And... I feel like I'm on a different species when I ride him. He's taller than I'm comfortable on, he's more reactive than I like, while also being pokey, and his canter stride is so big and smooth that, while in theory I should enjoy it, it freaks me out. I have no desire whatsoever to ride him. He's actually been an option for me this whole time but I'm just like... nooooope. Just not my cup of tea at all, despite the fact that he's, objectively, a wonderful horse.

As for Diego... As frustrated as I can get with him, I at least never feel unsafe or out of control on him. And knowing that I can sit through a buck or two, and deal with little tantrums, has actually been good for my confidence, as I used to freak out and shut down the SECOND a horse did anything odd. So for now... I'm seeing it as a learning opportunity, with the potential to be pleasantly surprised. Or to go "ugh!" and drop it later.  But I certainly wouldn't give up riding! There are so many good horses out there, and I think/hope I will always be able to find an option.


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## SteadyOn

So, I've ridden Diego four times in the last week. I've decided to implement a system in recording my rides on my calendar: a smiley face or a frowny face. Rides that go well get a smiley, and rides where he's a butthead get a frowny face. Of this week's four rides, he gets three smiley and one frowny. Not too bad, actually!

When I rode him on Friday... that was a definite frowny-face ride. We had one miserable fight where he kicked out a couple of times, and he threw one big random buck during canter that seemed pretty unprovoked. I stayed on -- his bucks aren't the full-body bron type at all, just big hind-leg kickouts -- but I did have that "Oh here we go" moment where I thought, for a split second, I *might* fall off, and time slowed a little. Wheeeeeeee. I just grabbed the "Oh S***" strap and it was fine and kept him going.

Today however, despite making grumpy faces he was making in his stall before the ride (which is out of character as he's a sappy love bug on the ground, usually), he was very good. Like, VERY good. He lunged without any tantrums or kickouts or weird moments. He was pokey, but he's always pokey.

Under saddle, he was fine! His trot was pretty dead slow for the first couple of laps, but he warmed into a normal trot and was generally better at moving forward off my leg.

There were two main evasions today, both of which I thought I handled quite well. So, I've noticed that his kick-outs and bucking is usually associated with using the whip to back up my aids. As much as he DOES need it at times and I'm not using it incorrectly when I do, he definitely has moments where he resents it and goes "Oh YEAH??!" and that's when it happens. So I tried to think of ways to get around using it and escalating into those situations.

Evasion 1: There's one particular area of the ring where he puts the brakes on and it more prone to have one of his little kicky fights. As soon as he stopped and wouldn't listen to my leg, instead of trying to smack him to get him to move, I just pulled his nose around with my inside hand and disengaged his hindquarters and made him do a very annoying number of tiny circles on the spot. When I asked him for forward again, I think he was relieved to be allowed to move out from that, and there was no resistance.

Evasion 2: He's been refusing to canter on my first ask of the day. Instead of backing up my leg with the whip, which I've done before and often results in his kicking/bucking drama, I just basically abandoned the reins and focused on JUST keeping the pressure of the leg aids on and not relenting. He did the super fast school pony trot with his ears pinned, and went around and around and around and around in a small circle -- which would throw his old owner off balance and get her to stop him. Me though? Ehhhh, circle all you want, buddy. I have all day, and you're just making it harder on yourself. Well, eventually he gave me a stride of canter and I immediately released my legs and let him come back and made a big fuss over him. And then he was fine after that. He's still hard to KEEP in the canter, but when I can get him going forward I give him strides where I don't do anything to drive him. Some days I have to drive him almost every stride but when I get him going well, I only have to add leg about three to four strides. Hoping to keep working on that and get him to stay in canter without being micromanaged, but it's going to take some work.

Over all, though, I'm seeing general improvements in his responsiveness and in his respect for me. It used to be that, no matter how much inside leg or spur I applied, he would blow me off and cut corners where he felt like it, but now he'll listen and move off of it a lot better. I'm also having to use the whip only a fraction as much. And his gate sourness is mostly gone (though I might play around with that some more on the next ride to take it that last 5-10%). I also got some really, really nice forward stretchy trot out of him today where I barely had to touch him with my leg, and I love when I can get him there because it gives me the opportunity to say to him, "Hey, if you just MOVE I will leave you completely alone!"

I've also been doing a bit of relaxation work with him on his way to turnout, or after rides, etc. I just hold him at the very end of the lead and stand still and quiet, breathing slowly and relaxing and not asking anything from him, except to keep at least one eye on me. The amount of tension that starts to work its way out of him is CRAZY. His muzzle will start out very tight, then start to twitch. His lower lip, which he often holds so tight he looks parrot-mouthed, will started to twitch too, and gradually let go and move into a more relaxed position. He'll lick and yawn and move his jaws and close his eyes. I even had him lie down and roll one day last week during one of these sessions! It was amazing. He never seems to let down enough to roll, and that was the first time I'd ever seen him do it. (He wasn't tacked during that one, hahahaha.)


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## SteadyOn

Pretty decent ride today. Diego gets another smiley on the calendar!

It was sunny and mild this morning, and the crazy amounts of snow here are starting to melt. I didn't need to turn on the arena heat for the first time in a while, and rode without my jacket!

Diego was a very very good boy on the lunge line. I had to use a different area in the arena to work him, as some jumps had been set up, but over all he was pretty easy to get moving. No kicks, just a bit of head tossing when he wanted to say no to things, but nothing really dramatic. I don't mind if horses, er, express themselves, as long as they're listening! He did get a little pokey on the side of the circle that was closest to the gate, so instead of trying to badger him about it, I gave him a little snap on the butt with the tip of the lunge whip on two passes, and didn't have to do much to reinforce the notion afterwards.

The ride was... pretty good! Steering was generally better. No fights in trot. There were a few moments where he pinned his ears and arched and swaggered his neck like he was thinking of starting something, but we pushed through. The only real trouble came with... oh, you guessed it... canter transitions. But it was... odd. He was being VERY resistant about cantering to the left, and I had to just huff and puff and get after him with my current method of putting on my leg and outside spur until he gives me canter, then releasing him as his reward for the depart. However, he really didn't warm out of it and start cantering more willingly that direction like he usually does. It was a struggle every time. So after getting a couple half-circles of it out of him (which was a win in the moment considering he didn't want to canter at all), we switched to his right side, which is his "BAD" side... and got a pretty easy canter transition right away, and I was able to ride him in canter for a full loop and a half without him breaking back to trot, and without me having to badger him constantly. Whaaaaaaat??? What madness was this? This horse, a couple months ago, was so crotchety about right lead canter that you sometimes had to fake him out by asking for counter canter while going left and then cross the diagonal to get him going right. (Okay, this last thing in theory. Our steering was never good enough at that stage to actually DO that, but my coach swore by it.) But now? Canter to the left was like trying to drag him through the Swamps of Sadness, but canter to the right was like "Okay sure no problem." This HORSE!!!

After that I got better canter to the left, and focused on just getting him to sustain it past his usual stopping places, and then telling him what a GOOD BOY he was for it.

I know I've said it before but I will just reiterate it for anyone who missed it: this horse has had vetting and chiro and saddle fit checks regularly for YEARS and he's fit, flexible, pain-free and has nothing wrong with him physically. We even tried him, experimentally, on a course of low-dose painkillers JUST to rule out anything they might have missed, but it seemed to be making no difference. His "things" seem to all be in his head.

So, I'm noticing things that are making a difference: being VERY selective about how and when I use the whip during my rides. Does he actually need it at times? Absolutely. But he kicks out in resentment at it sometimes, so if I can find ways to motivate him without using it, and avoid fights, we're both happier. I want to try to problem-solve with him more than badger him -- which he makes veeeeeeeeerrrrryyyy difficult at times.

However, thinking back on his background, as dull as he comes across, I think he's dull BECAUSE he's sensitive. This horse was trained up to PSG levels of dressage, and could also perform piaffe and passage, before his last owner bought him. Although, he was trained to do those things with constant pressure -- curb bit, rollkur, very busy busy busy dressage whip. I've seen footage and it's hard to watch. He went from that, where he was expected to perform very nuanced movement while being SHOUTED at with the aids, to an owner who, though she had excellent coaching, had physical limitations and was unbalanced with VERY busy legs and VERY busy hands. Unintentionally busy. So, more noise, but with even less meaning. I think he really shut down.

Yesterday and today I ended my rides by hopping off, undoing his noseband so he could yawn and stretch his jaws, and just standing quietly near him. His head got lower, his jaw moved and relaxed, and today he started closing his eyes and looked so chilled out he was practically falling asleep. Ending on a SUPER relaxed note like that feels somehow important right now to this process, and I think it's paying off a bit.

After my ride, when I went to leave, I saw that he had been standing out in the paddock all hunched up, ignoring his food, and looking grumpy. He had been standing like that for a while. When I approached the gate, he stepped out of the shadows and into the sunlight, had a look at me and perked both ears my way, and then stepped over to his hay pile and relaxed and started eating. And I mean... REALLY relaxed. He actually dropped his, uh, horsey bits completely while he snacked, and I've only seen him do that twice this whole time. Maybe it was a coincidence, but I think when he saw me he felt at ease and got out of his little grumpy mood. He was still relaxed and eating when I left.


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## SteadyOn

Well guys, I'm very happy to say that the last three rides were great, and the last two -- including today's -- actually left me grinning. I don't know if it's anything I'm doing, if Diego and I have actually turned a corner, or if he's just in a good mood, but...

Thursday's lunging session and ride were for the most part uncomplicated. I had a lesson, and he went really well for me -- with the exception of that darn left lead canter. He was being VERY sticky about it, wouldn't maintain it, and I was feeling really tired and frustrated that day and was giving up too easily. Other than that issue, though, he was quite good. No problems in right lead canter -- his "bad side." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So... After three days off, I went back to my Monday ride fresh and rested. Now, historically he has been more reluctant after a couple of days off. But instead... he was lovely! He had one little tantrum-y moment on the lunge, but was otherwise great. He gave me NO problems with canter in either direction, with the exception of going a little crooked when we went right. (He tends to swing his quarters in on that side at times.) His trot was generally more forward. We did lots of stretchy trot around the ring -- during which I felt myself weebling all over and determined my stirrups were a little long. Oops. But all in all, a happy day! I even did most of my cantering without using the grab strap on him, as I just didn't feel like any kicks or bucks were in the works. (He actually did two VERY tiny kicks when we were cantering to the right, but I don't think anyone watching would have even caught them.)

Today he was FABULOUS!! No issues on the lunge. He was prompt and focused. No ridden problems either that weren't things that I was partly to blame for. I let him break from canter in the same spot, a few times, because I wasn't preparing for it and pushing him through. But we fixed that. I was having trouble steering him off the wall and into a circle in canter. But we fixed that too -- more outside leg and more well-timed give-and-take on the outside rein. He was slow over the trotting poles, but while we didn't exactly get him *zooming* over them, he improved, and also went straighter. And the BEST part was getting a BIG, strong, FORWARD left lead canter!!!! We were absolutely booting it up one of the long sides, in a gear that he doesn't normally shift into unless it's my coach and she's up there to give him a Come to Jesus moment on one of his "bad" days. So cool to have him give me that fairly willingly!

Over all: better forwardness, better steering (but with room for improvement, ha), better over poles, MUCH better corners, and MUCH better canter. I had a lot of fun! And I trusted him a lot more. I reached down occasionally to touch the grab strap for a moment here and there -- not because I felt I needed it, but more out of habit -- but didn't need it, or actually hold it for any length of time. (He did one TINY, TINY kick in right lead canter, but my coach didn't even notice it and laughed at me when I said it happened. Okay so it BARELY happened!! And I wasn't hanging on anyhow when it did. And I lived.) I do need to get my reins sorted better in canter, as I tend to start out with them too long to give him his head, and then wind up with my hands really high and wide to take up the slack instead of just -- you know -- shortening them. :/ But that's nothing that'll be too hard to fix after the canter is going better and more consistently, and I feel like I can multitask again.

Another thing that's helped is that I'm getting better at timing my whip use, and using it very selectively. My coach was impressed with my instincts, now, for when I actually needed it. At first, with him, I was using it too much instead of putting on my spur, which he has less frustration with. Then I started using it... like... not at all, but that's when he was blowing off my canter aids. Now, by using it only when it'll really make a point, he's more respectful of it and less likely to have a kick-out. 

Really really pleased with him this week! And feeling proud of what I'm getting out of him.


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## SteadyOn

*Better and better!*

I had a lesson yesterday. First ride since my lesson on Tuesday. I gave Diego Wednesday off, as he'd been such a good boy on Monday's and Tuesday's rides, and had worked hard. But then I simultaneously got too sick and too busy to ride on Thursday and Friday. So, there I was on Saturday.

And... Well, I was still sick. Yesterday morning I was walking down my stairs and had a woozy moment and went "Oh boy this should be good," but being me, I still kept my riding lesson. By the afternoon, while I was definitely feeling rough and had taken a bunch of cold drugs, I wasn't actually dizzy. So I went.

Now, there's a certain phenomenon with me where, sometimes, when I'm feeling *awful* I ride *better.* I think maybe I overcompensate? Or certain sensitivities that work against me are maybe duller, so I focus more? Who knows. But the ride went great, and my coach even called out "You should get sick more often!" I also had kind of psyched myself up to a good headspace that afternoon. For some reason I went into the ride with the attitude of "Ride like you're trying to fall off!" so that I wouldn't be such a delicate little leaf about things in the saddle, and I was more willing to get stuff done and less worried about what COULD happen. I barely touched my grab strap, and as it turned out I didn't need it anyhow.

Anyhow, I rode well, and Diego was GREAT! He did everything I asked, when I asked. He didn't give any attitude, didn't have any fights or kickouts. He was FORWARD!!! He was even swinging and lifting his back through a lot of the ride, which is a wonderful change because he often hollows out. And steering was GREAT! We went over poles and cavaletti and kept a decent trot up. We actually went across the diagonal without him slowing down or going crooked -- which sounds like such a small thing, but it's a big win for us! He also gave me canter every time I asked for it!!! And gave me the correct lead every time -- including counter canter leads!! The only time our steering went to crap was in counter canter, but that was my fault because I'm not used to riding it and I kind of fell apart.

We kept the lesson pretty short, as I was sick and getting winded easily, and he was SO good that we wanted to end on a good note. He got lots of rubs and petting, and I've been teaching him a dumb cookie trick, where if he sweeps his lips side to side on the back of my hand, I flip it over and give him a treat. It's PRETTY cute!!!

I talked to my coach at the end of the lesson and we both agreed that Diego seems to have come around to me now and likes me. She said she had previously, at one point, put a rider on him who was showing in third level and Diego shut down so much with her that he wouldn't even MOVE. So he definitely has feelings and opinions about people. Fingers crossed, but it seems like I'm starting to win him over!


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## whisperbaby22

A lot of riding is mental. That's one reason it is so absorbing, and you really loose yourself in the moment. On one hand you have to ride like the posse is after you, on the other, you must always be aware of staying safe yourself.


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## SteadyOn

My coach rode Diego last night for the first time in a while. I wasn't there, but she said she was SUPER impressed with him. He was forward, happy, and had no attitude, and didn't kick out or buck or even threaten. He went great both directions and was a good, willing partner.

I rode him myself this morning. I hadn't since Saturday, as I've been sick this week, so I didn't do a lot. He was pretty obviously stiff and tired from his workout last night, but other than one little kick-out on the lunge line, he was still willing to try for me. I just did some work in trot in my ride to get us both moving again. He had very little energy but he still tried really hard and didn't go crooked on me or pin his ears or threaten to buck. He had "happy ears" the whole ride.

I finished up with some trot work, without my stirrups, both directions. Of COURSE, this is also when I had my first spook on him as someone slipped into the arena unannounced and startled us both, making Diego shy sideways suddenly. But it wasn't huge, and even though I didn't have my stirrups, my seat didn't budge at all. Yay!! He also immediately stopped when he shied, so hahahaha, definitely NOT a bolting type of spooker.


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## SteadyOn

I've had two lessons since my last entry. One on Thursday, and one yesterday. Thursday's we kept pretty short as I was still sick -- this cold just won't die! -- and I didn't have a lot of stamina to push myself or the horse.

Yesterday's was pretty good. In the lesson before mine, the horse (not Diego, a different one) had spooked at someone moving around in the viewing room, and the rider had fallen off. No injuries, and the only one really rattled by the experience was the horse! But there was definitely something in the air yesterday. Because when I rode Diego, he did a big spook at absolutely NOTHING!! He is not spooky by nature, at all, and the only spook I'd had on him was the one earlier last week when someone came into the arena too quietly and surprised him as we came by the gate. That one made sense! This was just a big startle and duck-and-jump sideways that seemed to have no provocation. 

Now, gonna take a moment to discuss the anatomy of the spook-and-fall. The previous rider, who fell, did what a lot of riders do: manage to stay on for the spook itself, but then panic and go fetal in the aftermath, and tip off forward instead of recovering. This has frequently been my own M.O. when spooks happen. My last fall two years ago happened in exactly that way. And I nearly fell off a year ago for the same reason. Now, the spook in my lesson yesterday... I actually got left behind, more than anything, and other than socking Diego in the mouth a bit in my surprise (I don't feel too guilty about that as he did it to himself) I didn't panic, didn't pitch forward, and kept going without shutting down or consistently avoiding that area. This is BIG BIG BIG for me. In the past I've dreaded the prospect of spooking so much that I would panic if a horse so much as flinched. But as much as I'd REALLY prefer to avoid spooks, the fact that I've been able to sit through a few of them in the past year has been really helpful for my confidence. It's a good reminder that they don't always = DOOOOM. And the fact that I sat a pretty good one earlier this week -- with NO stirrups -- and my seat didn't budge, was... really nice!!

We kept yesterday's lesson a bit short, too, as even though I was feeling mostly better, we noticed a girth rub coming up on Diego right at the end. Darn his sensitive PRE skin! He was sticky about left lead canter and did one kickout, though not a huge one. Once he got going, though, I got some good stretches of forward canter. And I also stopped being a total weenie about the grab strap and did most of my cantering without clutching it like Dumbo's magic feather. Over all it was actually quite a good ride. And the irony of the kicking out stuff? If I DON'T use the grab strap and actually make a point of steering him and keeping him straight.. he doesn't kick out. So it's a problem that kind of feeds into itself. I know I can sit the kickouts, so I really need to just trust my seat, steer the horse, and ride him like I don't even know it's a thing he sometimes does.

Good things: forwardness wasn't really an issue -- at least not anywhere near as much as it sometimes is with him. Corners were much much better. Steering on the whole is getting better -- when I remember to do it. And my seat was really working! I was actually sitting on my butt and following the canter nicely, instead of hollowing my back and rolling my pelvis forward into a fork seat. My hands were generally better, and I was able to get them more down and forward and closer together. I need to keep a better outside rein connection, especially on a left rein.

And going back to the spooking/avoiding thing: I'm getting better at pointing his shoulder towards the source of anxiety. Which generally distracts him from it and keeps him moving straighter. Needs more work, but as a strategy, it's effective! Sometimes intentionally popping out an outside shoulder, and drifting that direction, can be a force for good.


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## SteadyOn

I don't have much to update on the riding front, but I've just had kind of a... nice horsey week. I rode with my coach on Sunday afternoon, just for fun -- though it did become a bit of an impromptu free short lesson when she was taking a break while I tried to canter Diego to the left and he and I were both tensing up and psyching each other out. :/ Whoops! I did get him going pretty well eventually, as she called out instructions, but I've concluded that I really need to work on visualizing success with that left lead canter so that I don't go at it from a weird mental place and sabotage it before it happens. It was always his EASY lead, too! Ha! Now the right lead is the easy, forward one instead of the sticky weird one.

Took Monday off from riding as Diego had been ridden both days of the weekend and done pretty well. I'm taking more moments to just watch and enjoy the horses, and have more slow and relaxed interactions in handling them. It's been nice. The three horses there right now all have different personalities, but they're all pretty nice and easy to handle, so it's good to just have a bit of relaxed fun with them.

Diego is VERY treat motivated, so I've now created a bit of an adorable monster with the "dumb cookie trick" I've taught him. It's nothing pushy or rude or dangerous -- I certainly wouldn't have encouraged that -- but he now knows that if I hold my closed fist out upside down, he can sweep his lips back and forth on it, and I'll flip it over and give him a treat. So even when it isn't treat time, I'll feel a little searching "whuffle whuffle" on my arm or shoulder -- even my forehead once. And I die of the cuteness.

I've also noticed that he seeks reassurance from me more and more often, and seems to genuinely like me (not just because I'm a cookie machine, I don't think, either!). When he was first turned out in his current arrangement, with a buddy he hadn't been out with before, he stood at the gate staring at me with this "oh no haaaaaaaaallllp me laaadyyyyy" expression while the other horse stood back casually checking him out. I eventually had to go up and lead him out away from the gate and to the hay piles, at which point they both relaxed and started eating. They've been fine together ever since.

I was supposed to have a lesson on Tuesday, but after I tacked him up and went to lead him out to the arena, he was walking like a stiff little old man, so we opted to just lunge him at walk and trot to get him moving a bit, and then put him away again. He limbered up a little but was just a bit stiff in his right hip.

My coach told me to go ahead and try lunging and riding him the following day. His little old man walk was there again, but I thought it would be good for him again to move around and stretch a little, so I put him on the lunge line and he went from refusing to walk forward to giving one angry buck... and shooting off in a perfectly good canter. And he proceeded to trot and canter perfectly fine, forward and sound. I didn't push it. But I did hop on him after and do about 15 minutes of just a gentle walk ride, concentrating on getting nice deep corners, and also walking straight towards one part of the ring that gives him anxiety, and letting him stop and relax and get praised there. He soon was going pretty willingly to that spot. After LOTS of walking I asked for trot and he gave me good, willing, forward trot so I just did big laps on a loose rein and let him stretch and get into it. He had a nice forward walk by the end of it -- and I'm happy to report that when I took him out and hand-walked him around this morning, he was back to his normal self!!

Yesterday and today I also played a little with my coach's horse, just on the ground. (She's absolutely fine with me trying little training things, I should say here.) As I mentioned in a previous entry, he spooked last weekend at someone in the viewing room, and his rider fell off. Well, he's been acting really apprehensive about that area ever since, and even if he's thirty feet away from it, he'll stare at it and start to get really antsy and anxious. I said to my coach the other day, "It's too bad the windows don't open because we could have someone reach out and feed him treats there!" But then it got me thinking. So yesterday, before I turned him out, I grabbed a pocket full of treats and worked on leading him towards the scary viewing room windows, getting him to where he was just starting to be uncomfortable about the experience, and then waiting for him to relax a bit... then having him reach forward to get a treat. At first he was so concerned that he didn't even care about the treat. He just wanted to STAAAARE. But he settled down and started to get the hang of it. After less than ten minutes, I was able to walk him right up to the plexiglass from different angles and get him to come down and focus enough to gently take a treat with his nose almost touching the window. Today I tried it again and he was waaaaaaaaay better. I did two sessions: one on the lead rope with me walking towards it, and after about a ten minute break, one where he was loose and approaching of his own free will. I even jumped around and waved my hands a bunch to make the reflections more "scary," and by the end of the session he was actually walking up to the glass BY HIMSELF and going nose-to-nose with his own reflection in a relaxed, curious way. Will it help under saddle? Who knows! But it certainly can't hurt, I figure!! If he continues to be progress with it I might try putting something brightly coloured in there on the seats and getting him used to that too, but one thing at a time! Don't want to go too fast and screw up a good thing.


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## SteadyOn

Well, I had a GREAT ride this morning!!

To go back a bit: I rode Friday night, just by myself. I was TIRED but I knew it would be my last chance to ride before I went away for a few days. I didn't do a lot, but what I did do went well. Diego was a bit weird about the dimmer evening light, as he's used to being ridden in that arena in the morning, but other than that it went fine. Worked a bit on our sticky left lead departures. The first one is always AWFUL, and he trots around giving me the F YOU ears, but if I just keep my leg on and keep squeezing with that outside spur, he eventually gives me the departure and I IMMEDIATELY release everything. If he drops back, fine, but I got the departure. I've been finding that, if I do the first few that way, he's better and then I can do "real" canters afterwards.

I went back out yesterday to ride at the same time as my coach. We both lunged, but there was a LOT of wind, and it was rattling the arena doors. One of the big ones wasn't actually latched, which I didn't realize. So I wondered why Diego was TAKING OFF on the lunge every time he passed that part! Haaaa!!! I was standing in the middle of my circle, marvelling at him going around like "trot trot trot trot trot GALLOPGALLOPGALLOP canter canter trot trot trot... repeat." Over and over and over. Once my coach pointed out that the latches were undone, I stopped lunging, did them up, and had a "normal" session after that! Because he had exerted himself so much, though, in his unreasonable terror, I didn't ride for very long at all, and my coach opted not to ride as the lunging was enough for her boy. Diego was good in the (very short) ride and didn't spook at anything, despite the earlier behaviour. And again, I worked on those left lead departures, just getting a stride or three at a time, and doing two short sustained canters.

Anyhow, back to today's ride. I lunged first, as I usually do. He was back to normal, and things weren't windy. There was a zig zag of trot poles lying down end to end that happened to pass through the lunging area. I was able to get him over the pole fine yesterday and today, but he was falling back into trot, from canter, to go over and I was wearing us both out trying to keep him in canter over it. So I made it MY choice to bring him back to trot before the pole, and back up to canter after. If you know you can't get what you're asking for, and you can't change the situation to your benefit... don't ask for it, and ask for something you CAN get instead!!

The ride itself was sooooo so good. His walk was pokey and hesitant at first, but he didn't actually fully put the brakes on in places on his first time around the arena, like he used to. I got him up to a decent walk. Then from walk into a pokey trot. Then from there into an... okaaaay trot. Still behind my leg but not terrible. Tried a few canter transitions. Right lead canter departs were completely fine, and I did a short couple of right lead canters. Left lead canter depart... wasn't bad!!! He actually gave me ONE departure on the wrong lead, then gave me prompt (for him) left lead departures. I did my now-usual thing of not asking for anything sustained after those first couple of departures, before upping it to half a couple of half-circles. 

Then... I left the canter alone for a bit. Let him take a short walk break, then felt he had a good trot in him and had him trot many, many laps on a loose rein. He was REALLY going!! Super power trot, back stretched, reins loose, head down, really swinging his whole body and using himself. I LOOOOOVVVE when I can get him into that zone, because he is forward without me badgering him at all, and he stays in it, so I can give him the reward of a loose rein and my leg off and just being a passenger. Win-win.

After LOTS of zooming around like that, I picked up just a touch more contact... and asked for canter. And got BEAUTIFUL forward canter!!!! I started with the right lead, his formerly-terrible-but-now-superior side, and... my goodness, it was a miracle! He cantered right away off my ask, and it was a good normal-horse canter. I rode it forward! I rode it normally! I didn't hang on to the grab strap! I used totally normal amounts of leg in a totally normal way!!! He was forward and willing and balanced and absolutely lovely!!! 

I switched sides and tried his left lead, the formerly-superior-but-now-stickier side and, while I didn't hear angels sing like I did with the right lead, and had to push him a lot more... it was still less than I *usually* have to push him, and I felt secure and in control and our steering was much much better than it usually is. Much more like riding a normal canter on a normal horse!! Woohooooo!!!

The change in this guy has been absolutely amazing. I don't think one would look at me riding him, without the back story, and be super impressed but... if they knew!!! He hasn't bucked in over a MONTH, and this is from a horse who would put the brakes on and pin his ears and refuse to move, and would kick, and buck, several times a ride. He's now MUCH more forward, his whole attitude has improved, he's more balanced, he's fitter, his whole shape has changed, and he looks GREAT. I admit there was a bad period there where I wondered what on earth my coach was thinking when she took in this horse, but... that changes have been so huge, and so rewarding!! 

I can't take credit for a LOT of it... but I also _can_ take credit for a lot of it! Which feels great. I've been the only one riding him all winter, other than my coach popping on about once a month to tune-up/check in. We've also changed his saddle, his food, his maintenance regimen, and his social life, all for the better. So as I said, it's definitely not just how I've been riding him. But that's where the differences are really showing! My riding has a lot of room to improve, but there are two things I'll say for myself, that I think this guy needed: I'm a quiet rider, and I'm consistent. His previous owner was busy and inconsistent. I think the fact that he now gets a LOT of releases in his ride time has allowed him to let go of a lot of tension. So yeah, I think I'm allowed to feel good about that!!

Maybe I'll even take off the grab strap soon!


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## SteadyOn

*All good things come to an end*

Today I had my last ride/lesson at the winter barn. Possibly -- probably -- my last ride ever at that facility. My coach figured out, and I agreed, that this winter spent there really wasn't worth it for her. So we're not doing this whole winter co-op barn thing again, and will have to look at other options once we hit the fall. It's bittersweet. It was a LOT of work, but it gave me routine and exercise in the morning. Still, the time commitment was considerable and it will be nice to (possibly) have some of that time back next winter, even if it means I have to pay for a partboard situation instead of volunteering.

Anyhow! It was a good ride! This whole week has been really great. I rode Diego four days in a row, and he was lovely every time. I had lessons on him yesterday and today.

Yesterday we worked on some of our steering issues. A lot of his "things" aren't bad riding on my part, and they're not really bad training on his part. They're genuine reactions. He doesn't like going near areas that make him nervous, and you can try to push him towards them all day with your inside leg, etc., but if he's uncertain about them he won't go near and will blow off your aids. I personally think he needs more work to address the anxiety itself than to try to push him into it. Trying to force him doesn't work too well, and just dulls the aids. And just isn't really my own philosophy about it.

Today, for example, he was FREAKED by a large blue water bucket that someone had moved close to one of the arena doors. He could see it through the gap in the door, and through the arena windows. After unsuccessfully trying to lunge him past it, I stopped and walked over, took him by the line and very gently led him up to it, incrementally, and let him make goggle eyes at it and snort and just... have a moment. Eventually I was able to lead him past it both ways with a pretty minimal reaction, and then lunging him was normal after that. Now, I COULD have just kept after him with the whip, and tried to MAKE him go up to it and move past it normally, but... why? He wasn't being "bad." And I'm into fixing the cause, not the symptom. I think it's fine to have to nudge and encourage them towards a thing they don't like, but you can do it in a way that's empathetic and encouraging, not bullying.

The ride was really good! I'm so much less worried on him now, and can actually focus on what we're trying to do and where we're going, rather than anticipating bad behaviour. Especially helpful because anticipating it with him is often what CAUSES it!

The absolute high point of my day was going straight from stretchy forward trot into BIG canter.... on a loose rein! That's a huge improvement for me, as my instinct is to want to be nervous, clamp down, and feel like I have grip and control when fast things are happening. And riding Elle didn't help the situation, as she canters with a LOT of weight in the bridle. So even if you're not the sort of rider who habitually balances off the reins... it kind of happens by default with her, unfortunately, because of how much she would take that bit and leeeeean into it. And she's strong! With Diego, you CANNOT accidentally take with one or both reins, or he will absolutely take that as a cue to fall out of canter. So I'm starting to improve my balance and trust my seat more on him.

Another cool thing in today's lesson: while I was walking him out, I asked her to explain a walk-to-halt transition to me as though I'd never ridden a horse before. It was really interesting, because there's so much you start to take for granted as a rider... and stripping it back to instructions on the combination and order of the aids, the things you don't think about, is critical I think to getting/staying good, and making sure not to miss little errors in the basics.

Anyhow, I'm very interested to see what happens when we get them moved back! Being ridden outdoors again may be a bit of a head trip for Diego, but then again, I find the indoor arena is such a contained and controlled environment that every little change seems BIIIG to them. Even Elle would get weird about things in there. She once spooked at a leaf that was lying on the ground -- and she rarely spooks at anything. Outdoors they seems less phased by stuff because change happens all the time!

Plus I'll get to have Elle and Bambi back in my regular riding roster! They'll be WAY out of shape from having the winter off, but getting them going again can be rewarding, too.


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## SteadyOn

*Taming the wild and hairy Elle beast!*

Had my first ride back on Elle in over four months, tonight!!!

It was anticlimactic in, I think, a GOOD way. She's been doing nothing but resting and hanging out in a field with her friends, eating a round bale, since she left the winter barn to recover from her sprained hock. She's been looking sound again for a while now, apparently, but has had this whole time off to recover.

You always worry a bit, during that first spring ride after MONTHS off, that they'll be a bit squirrelly. Wellll, she spent the entire tacking-up, lunging, and riding time looking like she was half asleep. She's been off grain while she's been off work and so her energy levels are... not big. Her weight looks really good; just needs muscle! But anyhow, yeah, no spring zoomies in THIS horse!!!

It's weird how big the little changes seem, after you get used to one horse and switch to another. Her warmblood feet looked like pie plates compared to Diego's little Andalusian hooves. Her features seemed almost draughty (even though they're NOT at all) after seeing his for months. Even centering the pads on her back, it felt strange that her spine wasn't as prominent as his.

The biggest difference though was how SMOOTH her trot felt. I've really never thought of her as being a particularly smooth ride. But I do find Diego's VERY bouncy, so it makes sense in comparison. Will be interesting to try her canter again, once she's fit enough.

It was also REALLY nice to just... steer her and have her keep going and not argue!! No use of whip, no spurs, no trying to out-think her. Just... point and go. And she moved so nicely off my inside leg. The struggles with Diego were frustrating, yes, but they DO make me appreciate a nice simple ride now!

My confidence levels are SO much better now, too, than even when I stopped riding her in January. Other than being a little nervous when I first got on and had too much focus on trying (and mostly failing) to adjust the stubborn stirrup leathers from the saddle, I felt absolutely fine, and confident that it would be a good ride with no concerns. And it was! I feel like I'm now capable of handling "things" if and when they do happen -- though I'd still rather they didn't.

I also rode in silicone full seats for the second time tonight. If you were every wondering... YES, it is absolutely possible for breeches to be TOO non-slip!  I wore them for extra security just in case. (Also they're new, and it's always nice to put on new things!) But all they really did was make dismounting awkward, as I got sort of hung up on the saddle on the way down. Sigh!

My coach is going to get her back on grain and feed her up again to get her fit for the season, so hopefully her pep will increase gradually. Tonight was just a VERY short, very light walk-with-some-trot ride. Will increase that... slooooowlyyyyy... and see how we do!


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## SteadyOn

*No-stirrups goodie-two-shoes*

Had my first lesson of the season back on Elle today! Woooo!

She's back on grain and on maintenance, so she was feeling a lot better today and had more energy. Much more like her old self!

It's funny: I've never thought of her as being a particularly smooth ride, but after riding Diego all winter, who has a very springy step (though I still wouldn't call it rough at all), she feels like riding a sofa. So... After some walking warm-up, my coach went off to get me a crop (I always forget something) and I crossed my stirrups over!

Now, I'm going to pause here and go back in time by about three days. On Monday, I met up with my best friend, with whom I rode as a preteen/teen, and we went out for a trail ride at a place we'd never been to before. It was at a gorgeous place, through perfect, slightly hilly trails in a tall, bright forest. Now, the horses the two of us rode were a pair of old, been-there-done-that, roly poly Canadians. My first time on a Canadian, actually! She rode the mare and I rode the gelding. My friend and I always seem to end up with her on the slowpoke and me on the zippy one, any time we have a trail ride anywhere!! Well, this was no exception, as her horse lagged way behind, while the horse I was on took ANY distance between himself and the lead horse as an excuse to toss his head, shy, and shoot forward in a canter to try to catch up. Augh! All while my saddle was trying to slip to the left. (It was actually a lovely ride over all and probably deserves its own entry, but I wanted to write about today while it's fresh! Anyhow!)

So, yeah, today I was still a tiny bit sore and feeling a bit crooked and tight from that ride. It felt SOOOO good to just go along without stirrups for the first twenty minutes! I felt completely secure, and hardly even noticed that I wasn't using them.

We focused on just getting good, snappy transitions, and in getting Elle to soften her mouth and neck and use herself a bit. Lots of walk halt walk, and trot halt trot. Which was good practice for me, and not to much for her (lack of) fitness level right now.

We had one apparently PERFECT half. I was perfectly square and centred, and so was she. Sweet!!

At a certain point I found I was using my inner thigh too much, so I took my stirrups back and finished the lesson with them. It's funny how short they always feel after extended work without them! But I felt good and balanced and strong.

We didn't do any canter work today -- I think Elle will need more fitness first and more time for her maintenance meds to do their thing again first -- but it was a really nice ride, and it feels great to be back on her again. There's good and bad with her, for sure, like any horse. But she's fairly push button, and about the steadiest and most well-trained horse a person could ask to ride.

Some interesting things that stood out to me, switching back to her after riding Diego all winter:

She's MUCH heavier on the hands.
She goes VERY straight: just point her and go.
Our circles were terrible today, when they used to be PERFECT.
We were apparently going around bent to the outside -- which may be a side effect of trying to keep Diego from overbending to the inside all winter. Whoopsie. Thinking itty-bitty-shoulder-in at all times fixed it completely, though!

I'd like to keep going with both horses, and I probably will, but as I'm thinking of doing a few shows this year, and haven't had really any showing experience since childhood, I think I'd rather show with the old reliable model instead of Diego, who might decide he doesn't like the look of the judge's booth and only wants to go backwards. Or something. Ehhhh, who knows!


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## SteadyOn

*Just a really nice day!*

My riding coach was just away for a week and a half, and she told me that, while she was away, I was welcome to come out and ride as much as I wanted, whichever horses I wanted, because they all needed it.

Well... between the bugs and the footing being too wet, I only got out and rode once on Elle on the 26th, and then went back out on the Wednesday with the intention of riding, but just lunged Diego instead as the bugs were terrible and things were still really wet.

Today though, I had a VERY rare day off, so I decided to go out and not be in a hurry, and just make the most of it!

The weather was basically PERFECT! Sunny but not too hot -- one of those days where you're comfortable in as much as a jacket or as little as a tank top. And it was breezy -- okay maybe just slightly too breezy -- but it meant that there were next to NO bugs around!!!

I rode Elle, and though she had felt a bit off during my last ride, she had some spring in her step today and everything felt good! The footing wasn't totally dry yet, but as long as I stayed out of the really soft spots everything was fine, and we were able to do walk, trot, and canter. The wind blowing through the trees made her a little looky in a couple place, and occasionally she got a tiny bit jiggy, but was all in all totally solid and good.

It was pretty funny though: Diego was in the pen right beside the arena and he was standing there FLIRTING with her every time we went by. He was right up to the fence, head held high, nostrils flaring as he STARED at us going by. He was gelded very late so he still think he's a CATCH for the ladies.

After the ride, I gave Elle a really good grooming, as she still has a bit of winter hair clinging and just needed a lot of brushing. I also detangled her tail, and combed our her mane and gave it a trim with a razor comb. (My coach is actually thinking of roaching it, as Elle's blankets rubbed out a big section this spring, so she was fine with me trying to clean it up.) I hadn't used a razor comb before, and other than cutting my finger in my overenthusiasm, I was REALLY happy with how easy it was to use and how good it looked! Very natural.

I grabbed Diego out of his paddock, next, stripped off his fly gear, and lunged him in just his halter. My original plan had been to lunge him and then ride him, but with it being so windy, and the fact that he hadn't been ridden in exactly one month, I thought... I'll do it another, less blustery day. This was a WISE decision as, the second I sent him out on the lunge circle, he started TEARING around in a fast canter. This, the poky horse who at one point in time would have rather pinned his ears and kicked out than go forward at the start of a lunge session! So... I just let him canter it out. He also was spooking in one particular spot at the trees waving in the wind, so again... I made the RIGHT decision!! Hahaha.

He looked REALLY REALLY good though. His movement was great. His body looks great. His back has lifted a LOT. He used to almost look sway-backed, we think due to some atrophy and a poorly-fitted saddle. But he has really filled out now. His formerly stilted, stompy canter was free and flowy. His trot was so forward and elevated he looked like he was part Hackney. And I have to say, again: I have NEVER seen him so forward!! But then, I don't think he's had a month off riding in at least... six years??? The break seems to have done him good!

I lunged my coach's personal horse, too, and he went great one way but started being a bit of a goon the other way, slow on part of the circle, and then charging around unbalanced on another part, I think spooking HIMSELF in that section, by his own movement, so that he KEPT startling himself into doing it in the same place. Eventually he got his brain back in his head and started going well that way too!

All in all, a productive day!!! My coach actually got back from her trip during that last lungeing session, so we got to catch up a bit and book my next lesson. Yay!


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## SteadyOn

*Struggling on the "easy" horse. :/*

After months of fighting with Diego, I thought riding Elle again would feel like coming home.

Welllllllll...

The good: she steers wonderfully and easily. She's brave, doesn't avoid parts of the arena, doesn't really give a hoot about much unless something literally runs out under her feet, and even then she tends to only give a small startle. She goes very straight, isn't hard to get going or to keep moving, and she's pretty easy to adjust within a gait.

The bad: I had forgotten how HEAVY she is in the bridle. And that she really expects the rider to almost hold her up to help her balance herself. And now her canter feels incredibly rough to me, as well. And I'm having a lot of trouble sitting it, even though I was sitting it pretty well last year. (Diego, in contrast, has a very soft, light mouth, and a very smooth canter!)

(I should note, I don't mean the above about Elle is objectively "bad." But the experience of those things, for me as a rider, doesn't feel good.)

I know these problems are twofold. One: she's not very fit right now, as she was, until about a month ago, off for four months after recovering from a sprained hock. So she's not carrying herself as well or moving with as much grace and balance. Two: all the muscles and muscle memory I'd developed that had adapted to riding her, for three and a half years, readapted to riding Diego for a whole five months, and now I've lost my ability to "gel" with her, especially in canter.

I had a lesson on Wednesday, and everything felt so lumpy-bumpy on her, and I was bracing in my stirrups and hovering instead of trying to sit the canter because I was afraid I'd be bounced around. Basically I was riding her like I was three years ago. Ack. In the fall, I was riding her around in canter, no stirrups, and pulled off a serpentine with flying changes like that! Tuesday I just felt like I was doing a lot of bumpy careening. At least I know I'm capable of getting there with her, but it's going to take a lot more work than I had anticipated.

As I said to my coach during my lesson, "I thought that after riding Diego, riding Elle again would seem easy! Instead, it's just a different kind of hard!!"

I can fix this with lots of early morning rides, drilling a lot of no-stirrups-sitting-trot to open my hips up again and get the right places loose and the right places toned but... it's going to take some WORK!!! In the meantime, I have a dressage clinic on her in just over a week. I just hope we don't have to canter much!!! :shock:


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## SteadyOn

*Better!!!*

I had a rather pleasant surprise tonight! My coach called me this morning and said that Elle and Diego were back at the barn close my house for the weekend, and that I could/should go up and get a ride in tonight in exchange for bringing them in. Twist my arm!! I asked if I could ride both, and she said to go for it, so I did!

I rode Elle first. Now, my last ride on her was Wednesday's lesson in which I felt stiff and bouncy and unbalanced. Tonight though... everything was ON. Especially the canter, which was what I had been struggling with so much. I just... I don't know. I was just able to sit up straight and keep my butt in the saddle tonight, and go with it. I initially just thought about keeping my upper body nice and straight and firm, regardless of what my hand or leg was doing, and the rest kind of fell into place. I found my butt staying easily in the saddle during canter instead of wanting to slam around, because *something* clicked. I was able to sit on the right part of my pelvis and keep it as a fulcrum in the saddle and just let everything that was happening rotate around me. It felt so EASY. Isn't it amazing when actually doing something correctly just feels... EASY????

I think part of the problem was that, on Wednesday, we had put my stirrups up a hole to try to have more bend in my leg. But that had caused me to close my hips and brace. I may just be a long stirrups girl. Or at least... I should be until my hips relearns how to cooperate. When I have this better feeling as muscle memory, maybe I can play with my stirrup length again.

After Elle, I rode Diego, too! Lunged him first, and I was worried he was going to be his "bad" self because he was very stiff on the lunge, and not forward, and was pinning his ears when I asked him to trot or canter. And when I got on him he was a bit of a giraffe at first -- though wasn't actually being spooky -- then relaxed but was poky. And then eventually I got decent trot out of him before getting some canter.

A few notes:

There was no grab strap on the saddle anymore. So I was left to my own devices and to just trust that he wouldn't buck, or that if he did it wouldn't unseat me.

I kept thinking about keeping my body upright and independent of my hands.

Diego has a pattern, and it took me a while to learn it:
Sticky slow trot for many laps both directions
Slightly better trot
Crappy behind-the-leg canter
Nice forward trot, in front of the leg,
And finally...
Decent canter!!!
Followed by a nice, big, swinging walk

Working him in that order eventually turns him from a cranky, poky old codger into a lovely, forward horse, but it took sooooo much work to get him there, and it still takes a lot of work, but at least it takes a shorter and shorter amount of time.

This was my first time riding him since the beginning of May, so it was really nice to get back on him and find him (relatively) cooperative! Actually, he was VERY good. Other than his initial lack of forwardness, everything went really well. Steering was EASY for once. He didn't fight me about left lead canter departures. He didn't cut his corners. He didn't make faces or go crooked or kick or buck.

And the canter!!! Since my seat was really ON tonight, it was the nicest canter experience I've ever had on him! I used that pivot point on my pelvis and everything felt so easy, smooth, and secure! Also... my coach had been trying for MONTHS to get me to relax my legs and get all the tension out of my thighs and knees on him and just GO with him. Well... finally I did! Without even thinking about it, I noticed my thigh and knee were completely relaxed and I was sitting really deep. He felt like a wonderful carousel horse. Lovely lovely lovely!!! I want to do it again!!!

After the ride I hopped off him and undid the nosebands and just stood with him and let us both relax, like I used to always do after our rides. He walked up and stuck his nose right into my hands and just rested his head there with his eyes half closed. Sooooo sweet. 

Another important thing that clicked tonight: having faith. Not religious faith, that's not my thing, but just faith in my ability, faith that these are good horses who are doing their best to take care of me, faith in the process... A lot of the difficulties I have as a rider come from me riding defensively. So trusting the situation and feeling more confident tonight made such a difference! I did a lot of work on a loose rein tonight and trusted the horses wouldn't take off or shy, and that I would be able to keep my seat even if something did happen. That's big for me.


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## whisperbaby22

Just want to say that I really enjoy your journal.


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## SteadyOn

whisperbaby22 said:


> Just want to say that I really enjoy your journal.


Thanks so much!


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## SteadyOn

I've had at least two lessons -- or was it three? -- and a DRESSAGE CLINIC since my last entry here... and I'm so tired and so busy this week that I haven't written about them yet.

Mostly noting this here to commit myself to actually updating on this, because they're kind of big deals, especially the clinic!!!

I will say briefly that the clinic went well, and my coach shot video of me in it. I rode Elle. I was actually pleasantly surprised by my own riding! Usually I look at video and see all kinds of things that bother me in my riding but... no, I was pretty happy! I toed out a bit more than I would have liked, but I'm also coming off of months of using spurs so I'm riding off my heel more than I should without them. Aside from that, and occasionally collapsing my shoulders in ABRUPT halts, I was pretty on point!

My favourite comment of the day, from my coach: "I wasn't embarrassed to say that you're my student!" :clap:


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## SteadyOn

Wow, a lot has happened since I last posted on here!!

So, as mentioned previously, I'd had a couple of lessons, but also... a dressage clinic two weeks ago!

I probably won't update much on the lessons since they were a while ago and a bit of a blur. I will say that Elle is totally sound again, much fitter, and feeling like her old self.

The clinic was fun! I've been, ahh, pretty sheltered since I started riding again four years ago. Aside from the first two months back in the saddle -- a s^^^show which I've previously described in early entries -- I've mostly had private lessons from an excellent coach on an incredibly well-trained horse. (I'm not talking about Diego here, hahahaha, although he has his moments.) Elle is lovely. And she adjusts her output according to your input. She'll do walk, trot, and canter for anyone who knows how to ask for them. But she won't stay in canter if you don't *ride* her. And she has a lot of other skills that are there if you know how to ask for them.

Anyhow... I've been sheltered in that I've been riding a familiar, safe, talented horse in a familiar environment with a coach I've been riding with for nearly four years. And while I have taken a few outside lessons here and there when I've traveled, I still haven't done much elsewhere with other coaches/horses. So this was a cool change! I got to ride the horse I know, but with the coach that my coach is getting clinics from!

At the clinic, we mostly worked on getting Elle off her forehand and more prompt in her halts and transitions. And getting her to pay more attention instead of cruising along on autopilot. We started out with lots of walk, doing half halts and halts, and turns on the forehand. We added trot in, and worked on giving her a little surge forward, catching her to slow her and sit her back a bit, then releasing when she did. Well... in THEORY. I do not have an athletic brain, so while I can *eventually* learn a sequence of moves in quick succession, I'm very very slow to put them together. I was getting the pieces, but I wasn't putting them together fast enough to really do the exercise properly. However, the building blocks are there, so I just need to practice getting the hang of it.

The part of the clinic that most stands out was doing canter, halt, canter, halt, canter, half halt, canter, half halt... etc., a bit randomly. Riding on a circle, giving her a surge of forward energy at the quarter line, then either halting, or nearly halting but cantering on, when we got to the wall. We started on the right lead and it went pretty well. By the time we switched to the left side both Elle and I were a little tired and getting sloppy and tense. Not terribly, but it was noticeably different.

Things were great on the right lead though! The adjustments the instructor had me make worked wonderfully. Elle normally leans into the bridle HARD and plows through downwards transitions. In this case, though, she was balancing herself and going BAM! into instant halts without crashing into my hands. It still didn't look tidy, but the feeling was SO much better. With more practice I think she and I can really get it together.

If anyone is interested in seeing a video clip of the above exercise on the right lead (before it got a bit messy), PM me! (I don't post public photos or videos here because I live somewhere tiny and I like to keep everyone's anonymity, but I don't mind in a PM.)

It was interesting seeing clips of my riding again. I did feel like I rode WELL that day, for me. I was still getting used to Elle's canter again -- which is rougher and much more concussive than Diego's -- but aside from the odd slight bounce I feel I sat it well. I was toeing out a bit, which is a problem I used to have but had mostly cured. I think I got too used to using spurs again this winter so I keep turning my heel in to back up my leg aid. I'm going to go spur-less for a while, I think, to train myself back out of that. There were times I collapsed my shoulders and rounded a little too much in my halts and half halts, but they were stronger than I had expected so I understand why that was happening.

The thing I also noticed in the videos is my regular coach's major frustration with me. She says the best AND worst thing about me as a rider is that I'm very good at doing nothing. I'd much rather under-give an ask than overdo it, but it means I tend not to give a strong enough aid to get a strong enough result, much of the time. But generally speaking... she was happy with how my clinic ride went.

My favourite comment of the day from her (which I may have already written in a previous entry): "I wasn't embarrassed to say you were my student!" Hahahaha.

I also had a nice moment with the clinic coach when she came over and tested my ability to use my core in a halt. She grabbed the reins and pulled against me and asked me to resist, and I could tell she was pleasantly surprised by how much strength I had there. Guess I should take that as a sign that I should actually be using it more!! :razz:

One of the best tips she gave was to halt by pushing my fly zipper up and forward towards my hands to use that core, and to just resist with the hands instead of a pull (though I'm not typically a puller). When I REALLY used those muscles, it was amazing how little hand I actually needed. Which is great, because Elle will gladly make you hold her whole front end up if you let her!!

After that excellent clinic experience, I've had two lessons on Elle... and I just had an absolutely garbage ride on Diego the other night back at my coach's home barn. It was... humbling! But I'll tackle that in the next entry! (The good news is that my previous ride on him had been my BEST EVER ride on him, so I guess we're allowed to have an off night.) I actually want to alternate lessons on Elle and on Diego, because they both have a lot to teach me!


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## SteadyOn

Okay, I have been a total delinquent about keeping up with things here lately. This summer, work has been EXHAUSTING and I feel like I never have time to sit down for a 15 minute stretch and recount my rides. But I'll try to get things going again.

I've had a couple of lessons since I last updated. And I never did give details about my super frustrating lesson on Diego -- though interestingly, we later discovered that, that day, he had hit his head on a trailer SO hard that he had dented the metal of the trailer. :S So that might have explained some of the "attitude" I was getting from him. (He's fine now.)

Anyhow, I'm just going to skip ahead to last night's ride, because it was really, really nice. It wasn't a lesson. My coach was after me to come out and just RIDE with her this weekend -- again, I've been too busy to get out as much as I'd like -- so that's what we did. She rode Diego -- who was being very good for her -- and I rode Elle.

She's getting ready to go back to another clinic with the same instructor as the one we both went to. (I can't go to this month's because of -- surprise surprise -- work.) But that put me in a frame of mind to practice some of what I had done at the previous clinic.

First though, I did a bunch of trot work. And because I accidentally twisted my knee last week, and it's doing some fun popping/clicking/grinding, I did 90% of that trot work without my stirrups to give my knee a break. The no-stirrups trot work actually felt great!!! Easy peasy. I remember when it used to feel precarious/impossible/exhausting. I hadn't practiced sitting trot in a while, but I've found that if I do several laps of rising trot with no stirrups before I try sitting, the sitting is such a RELIEF in comparison that it's dead easy.

I'm still reacquainting myself with Elle's canter, so I didn't do it without sitrrups. I did do quite a lot of it though. And this is where the clinic stuff came in. I worked on really engaging my core and setting her back *as though* I was about to halt her, then pushing her back out into a bigger canter. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Occasionally I actually WOULD halt her so that she was prepared for that possibility and taking those moments of intense collection seriously. And I have to say... It was REALLY REALLY REALLY cool!!! I hadn't quite gotten the hang of it at the clinic, but last night it absolutely clicked and felt awesome! It's a very powerful feeling to be able to get a 1200 lb animal to slow down, lift her shoulders and gather herself up with just the power of your own abs. :lol: And as someone who used to have basically NO core strength... a sign that I have definitely come a long way!!

After the ring work, we tried to go for a hack of the road, but the deer flies were absolutely SWARMING the horses so we turned around before any kind of explosion resulted. 

All in all, a good ride (despite my currently dodgy knee) and a lot of fun!


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## SteadyOn

*My best ride ever on Elle?? :O*

I had a lesson last night. It was my first one in a little while, as I had twisted my knee about two weeks ago (by trying too hard to improve my leg position ALL AT ONCE, hahaha) so last week I skipped my Thursday lesson, and this week I skipped my Monday lesson. 

I did try riding this past Sunday, and it went... okaaaay? Everything felt mostly fine, until I tried cantering, and my canter seat was just weeeird. It's like my pelvis couldn't decide what to do with itself. My knee itself didn't bother me until I did some canter-trot transitions near the end -- which made it start clicking again -- so I stopped things there, but then I think that set things back a bit in my healing, so I waited until last night for my next ride.

So, last night I was a bit tentative at first, but my knee behaved itself until the very very very end of the ride.

My coach was running a bit late for the lesson, so I got on board and did some warm-up in all three gaits. Elle felt really good, if a bit distracted by the bugs. I started with lots of transitions between walk, trot, and halt, randomizing them a bit. I did all my trot seated, to avoid doing much with my knee until I was warmed up.

Now, the canter work... 10,000 times better than it was on Sunday. I came up with a visual that was immensely helpful for my seat and hands. Elle can be a bit divey in front until she's warmed up and using herself. So it's important to stay flexible and really move with her. What suddenly occurred to me was to think of my upper body as a book that would open and close, with my seat as the spine of the book. On the part of the canter when the front end is lower and the horse is reaching down, the book opens. The upper body goes back and the elbows and hands go forward. When the front end lifts and the hands come back and the upper body folds slightly at the hip to stay upright, that's the book closing a bit. It really put everything into a place that made sense, and no matter how big the action or how much I had to give to follow it, it made it so every part of my body knew what it was supposed to do, and my seat stayed in place. Some of the positional things I've struggled with in canter are: leaning forward too much on the "up," bracing in my stirrups to avoid bouncing and actually creating MORE bounce that way, and knowing exactly how much to allow with my hands without actually slipping into a "pumping" motion. This seemed to fix ALL of that!!

When my coach arrived, we worked on trotting straight lines from centre line out to the letters at the far corner. Like crossing the diagonal but from A and C instead. At first we just trotted them normally, then added in leg yield out to the wall. We're better leg yielding to the left than to the right, but they're both a lot better than they used to be. It's hard for me to wrap my head around having to use so many aids on the right side to keep the horse straight while moving away from the left leg. Seems counterintuitive, but then so does using the outside rein to turn, and I did eventually get that worked out!

After that, we did a cool exercise with halt-canter-halt transitions. She had me canter on the rail around half of the ring between E and B (the letters half way up the long sides) and then halt at those letters, do a turn on the forehand, and then canter back around the other way. The sticky things on that were: Elle decided she'd rather back up than move her haunches around from right to left. And she was trying do a rushy trot out of that movement to pick up her right lead canter instead of using those first few walk steps to set herself up. The other way she was great, though. Really nice turn on the forehand moving her haunches from left to right, and nice snappy canter transition on the left lead. The halts were fabulous!

That's one thing that the clinic last month REALLY helped me with! The idea of keeping a strong core and thinking of pushing your belt buckle towards your hands as the main aid for halt. Prevents collapsing forward, so you avoid a crashy halt. And the horse just seems to KNOW what you're asking. The hands don't have to pull at all; they just go still and resist. The same aids can be used within a gait, but more subtly, to collect it up. I wasn't really getting it until that clinic, but it's been awesome applying that knowledge, and made the whole thing sooooo worth it.

After that we did some trot canter trot transitions. I asked how my sitting trot was looking, and my coach said fairly good but I still need to work on relaxing and following more.

At a certain point Elle started acting weird and wanting to go crooked, and rush a bit, and was tossing her head. We figured it was just flies and pushed her on. She did some absolutely lovely, round, collected canters where her self carriage was so nice that my hands barely had to move to stay with her, and didn't feel like they were holding her up. And my seat felt great! I was able to get my upper body back well. My coach LOVED her canter here, and said we were both looking fantastic!

Eventually we figured out what had been bothering Elle as she finally let loose with a couple of HUUUUUGE coughs (with farts for good measure) and let a couple good loogies go flying. (She gets allergies). I guess she'd been trying REALLY hard to hold them in.  Poor girl! GOOD girl!

It was far from a perfect ride -- are they ever? -- but at the end my coach said that this was my best ever ride on Elle! Wow!!! And my knee only clicked, like, two times, right near the end, so that's MUCH better.


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## SteadyOn

I've had two rides since my last entry. One was a lesson last Wednesday, and the other was a free ride last night.

I don't actually remember a lot of detail about last week's lesson. Just that everything felt GOOD. My seat was really connecting, Elle was REALLY on her game, and I felt strong and capable. A few interesting things:

Elle reared with me! It was the first time she's ever done that with me, in four years of regular riding, though she has done it a handful of times with my coach on board. They aren't ever big or scary rears. Just a little tiny "haRUMPH!" when she's being asked to do something she finds really hard -- or being asked to *GASP* put her feet into water. In this case, we were doing (or trying to do) a turn on the forehand in her difficult direction, and I wasn't letting up on her when she tried to scoot backwards out of it. My coach and I actually laughed at it. Her feet barely left the ground. NOT scary.

Also my knee was better! No clicking!! Yay!!!

One thing my coach noticed: I'm good and centred from about the belly button down. Nice and straight there. But my upper body wants to lean in to the right a bit on right lead canter, and in trot it doesn't really lean in, but my rib cage sort of stays level but shifts over laterally towards the right slightly. Hard to describe, exactly. But something I should start working on for straightness. When I was using my upper body correctly, lo and behold, Elle went better. So it's certainly worth fixing. My other quirk is that my upper body wants to twist and open towards the right, but has way less flexibility twisting to the left. I've been aware of that problem for a while now and it's getting better but it still has a ways to go and I often have to intentionally turn my body to fix it.

She also had me shorten my right stirrup a hole because she thought that one looked longer. More on that later.

Had some nice, easy flying changes out of Elle. She was really light and not leaning into my hands. I often dread her changes because she'll dive into them nose first, but she was balanced and smooth.

Everything was really good, and I've been working on my upper body flexibility issues here and there. When I'm sitting, driving, standing around, etc. 

So, last night's ride... I had a super super exhausting and stressful weekend at work and didn't even feel like riding but I dragged myself out there because I knew I should. I felt a bit stiff and crooked, definitely not riding as well as I had in my last two lessons. Yay stress! But it still went reasonably well.

I challenged myself in the canter by riding Elle on a totally loose rein for a couple of laps. She takes up a STRONG contact in canter, so I like to check in with myself now and then to make sure I'm not inadvertently relying on the reins. However, I don't usually COMPLETELY let her head go like that. And she is pretty dependent on contact to keep her together in canter (which is not ideal either, I know). So, a good exercise for both of us. A year ago I don't think I would have felt comfortable doing that, especially not for that long. (In fact I know I wouldn't have been comfortable because I could NOT convince myself to let go when cantering on the longe last summer.) She was great on the right lead -- her stronger and more comfortable side -- but I think using herself that way wore her out a bit because her left lead canter was pretty unbalanced and reluctant after. Sorry Elle! Next time I'll switch it up and maybe not do quite so much. She did also just feel a bit tired last night, so that may have been more of a factor.

At one point, a rare thing happened. She got spooky! This horse is usually unflappable, but she got really wigged out about something in the trees at the corner of the ring by the pond. And you know that kind of tremor that goes up from their feet through their shoulder and kind of into your seat and hands RIGHT before they do a big spook or a bolt? Well, I felt a couple of those, and so we NOPED right out of there at a calm walk. There have been some deer around I didn't need one leaping suddenly out of the trees at us. Plus I have this theory that horses who "never" spook are the ones who go BIG about it when they finally do.

Confession: I am a spookiness wimp. And a proud one at that. Some riders will insist on riding their horse forward into the spooky place. I prefer to walk calmly away, regroup, and approach the spooky area again... on foot, if necessary. Or after the "moment" has completely passed. So, I tried riding in walk circles at the end of the ring that's furthest from the spooky place, but she still seemed a bit bothered and kept one ear pointed at that spot like a laser beam. I hopped off, led her over, and she was a bit weird at first but calmed down about it after a minute and a couple of circles back towards to the area from different directions. When I was confident whatever it was had moved on (or she had moved on from it) I got back on, but we still did all our work away from that end until it was time to cool out. I think there's nothing wrong with staying away from a spooky area so long as *I* make the decision to avoid it -- not that the horse just refuses to go there. Yeah, maybe I'm a wimp, but I'm a wimp who didn't go flying off a spooking/bolting horse, soooooooo. *shrug*

Anyhow, back to the stirrup length thing: after shortening it in my lesson last week, my right stirrup felt too short the whole ride. Sometimes my right ankle gets tight, so I thought that might be the problem, but I wasn't convinced. After the ride, I took both leathers off the saddle and checked them against each other. AHA!!! My right stirrup WAS shorter. Thank goodness, because I felt super uncomfortable the whole ride and was worried that I really was that crooked. Nope, apparently I'm just The Princess and the Pea when it comes to stirrup length, and that half inch difference was enough to make my whole leg and body feel weird. I swapped the leathers to opposite sides to be sure and then set them back up on even holes. At least I'll know for next time!


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## SteadyOn

*Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.*

I haven't updated in a bit for... well, reasons to follow. While I have had two rides since my last update, they were pretty low key beeeecaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuse... I hurt EVERYWHERE.

Two weeks ago I woke up in the morning with right TMJ (jaw joint) unable to close properly, and MASSIVELY painful. I normally use a night guard for my teeth/jaw but it had been missing for several weeks -- which honestly isn't normally that big a deal. But I tried a temporary one, and while it seemed okay at first, I think it was too thick and I must have clenched too hard in the night and... BAM!!

I tried managing the injury with Advil and very very gentle stretching, but two days later it hurt so much that I was in tears and at the emergency room. Well, Canada may have "free" healthcare, but they draw the line at anything dental (even though I would think a jaw joint is not "dental"), and they just handed me three Tylenol pills and told me to see my dentist. Siiiiiigh.

A couple of nights after that, the jaw pain made tension start creeping down into my shoulders, ribs, and back, and I've had painful nighttime muscles spasms ever since. Yaaay.

A few days into all this, though, I was feeling not-totally-terrible and thought I'd go get a little ride in. I rode Elle and while it was not my BEST ride, it was actually pretty close to average despite all the problems. Howeverrrrr...

A couple of days after that, my left ankle started getting stiff and painful. It would be bad at night, AWFUL in the morning, and then get nearly-normal over the course of the day and I was getting around on it fine. So given everything else that was happening, I didn't really think of it as its own issue and assumed it was part of the aches and pains from the jaw thing. So I would just walk it off and not think about it.

And then I did a a gentle walk-trot ride the other night and again, didn't feel too bad. Did a lot of it without my stirrups so as not to overdo it with the ankle.

Yesterday I got in to the dentist and got x-rays. The good news is that the actual bone and cartilage in the joint are fine, and all my pain is from soft tissue swelling/strain. And I'm getting a new night guard. And I have a referral for physio for that (though physio, like dental, is also out of pocket here unless you have private insurance, ugh).

After the drive back from the dentist yesterday, I could barely walk because of the ankle.

So...... I think I actually sprained it, maybe, in the first of these two rides. I've been trying to get my leg back under me/toes in more and I probably over-pronated the joint. And I didn't notice at the time because I was popping so many Advil, etc., and it kind of dulled down the feeling at first. Now I've been icing it and have it wrapped and I'm trying to stay off of it.

And it still hurts to chew.

:music019:

So I won't be riding for a bit...


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## whisperbaby22

Hope all this passes soon.


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## SteadyOn

whisperbaby22 said:


> Hope all this passes soon.


Thanks!! I'm lucky in that it seems to all be stuff that will heal with a bit of time. But it certainly has been, and continues to be, painful, inconvenient, disappointing, and expensive!

And a horrible feeling of loss of control. And also a really nasty preview of what aging might be like. Yiiiiiiiikes. Though it has made me appreciate my usual uncomplicated level of fitness and mobility, for SURE! Can't wait to zip around again like I'm used to doing!!


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## knightrider

> Can't wait to zip around again like I'm used to doing!!


And I hope that happens for you very very SOON!


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## SteadyOn

knightrider said:


> And I hope that happens for you very very SOON!


Thanks! :loveshower:


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## whisperbaby22

I don't know how old you are, aging can be terrible, but it can be wonderful. A lot of it is outlook. For me, being this old is great. A lot of the struggle is behind me. Yes I have been very lucky, but with age comes wisdom.


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## SteadyOn

Little health update, and I hopefully won't jinx myself saying this:

The good:
Ankle seems almost totally fine now! Still a little weak, bit of swelling in the foot, but I can walk normally now, no pain, and I can do stairs normally unless I'm really tired.
Shoulders and ribs are still a bit sore, but a fraction of what they were.
Back feels absolutely fine most of the time, and while I haven't totally stopped taking nighttime muscle relaxants, I've halved the dose and I don't seem to be having the nighttime back spasms now. Or at least, they're a fraction of what they were.
I had an RMT appointment the other day and had the full body treatment. And it was sooooo nice! Seemed to help with whatever was still off with my ankle, and I was walking better when I left than when I went in.

The so-so:
My jaw was doing REALLY well and was feeling almost normal again... until two nights ago, when I had some nachos. Apparently even mostly-soggy tortilla chips were too much for it, and I'm back to it feeling awful (but LESS awful than before, at least!!).
I still feel generally weaker than I normally do, but much better than I did early in all of this.

The ouch:
I think that compensating for the bad (left) ankle did a number on my other foot because now the ball of my right foot is swollen and extremely painful. I have support limb lameness, oh boy. "She was off on the left hind and now she's off on the RIGHT hind?" Starting to understand horses a bit better...

So basically it's soft foods only, and icing my feet every night, but hey... at least I'll be able to start riding again next week!!!! :loveshower:


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## whisperbaby22

Good to hear.


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## Kalraii

Ahhhhh nooo. Its actually insane how one little thing can throw everything else off.. and yet a lot of people expect their horses to power through things just as we would (or wouldn't, for some). It has really made me extra empathetic towards looking after their physical condition as well as my own >.< Katie has TMJ although 3 dentist appointments later and being really ontop of it she seems to have no issues whatsoever now (was told will be ok until she's an older lady, likely). But reading your comment... makes me feel bad for you and realising how agonising it is for you and then her as well :< :< I hope you get better soon! I couldn't help but laugh at your spooky comments - I also need time to pep talk myself before attempting anything scary. Katie spooks at the fox den by the arena quite regularly as they leap out of it. In the beginning the sideways spook, with her size, really made me question staying on. It took balls of steel to do as advised on the forum - act as if it's no big deal and continue as you are. Trotting past the den after the big spook .. I was certain I was gonna die lol! It worked a charm however and honestly I'm glad she has the odd spook because I get to practice sitting one lol! I'm less afraid in the arena as she can't really get out onto the roads from the property. Hopefully you recover fast and can get back to progressing. 

I wanted to ask before but forgot - do you have any end(ish) goal? To show? etc... because you have the kind of focus I admire!


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## SteadyOn

I'm pretty PTSD about spooking because of the first horse I bought when I was around 11-12. I only owned him for a year, but in that year I fell off him 5 or 6 times and 4 or 5 of those times were DRAMATIC.

Bolted and tore around the arena zig zagging everywhere
Bolted and bucked
Spooked suddenly and sideways at NOTHING while walking calmly
Spooked and bucked me off when I mounted
Shied sideways while cantering (the least dramatic)
?? (maybe another one but I can't remember what)

Before him, my first fall was off a horse on a trail who just suddenly TOOK OFFFFFF in a clearing in the woods and galloped full tilt back up the trail towards the barn. 

So, any time I feel a horse start to get a big "uh oh" reaction about something I go NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE because I expect something BIG to happen, and I know that if it did it would set my confidence waaaaaaay back.

However there are times when I've felt weirdly brave about it. Last winter when the caretaker walked into the ring while I was trotting Diego without stirrups, I had a feeling he had come in and was standing in that blind spot by the door... and that riding past him would spook Diego... but I did it anyhow! And Diego did do a little startle and shy at him, but it wasn't big and I sat it fine. I think I just trusted that Diego is generally too lazy to have a big spook in him!  Though a week or so later he DID do a big spook... at nothing at all. And other than catching him in the mouth (which was his own dumb fault) it went fine.

A friend of mine fell off at the beginning of the summer, from a big sudden spook, and hasn't been able to ride since. In fact, she hasn't been able to even WORK since... because of post-concussion symptoms. Thank goodness she was wearing a helmet, because she might have been killed otherwise. Trying to bravely ride a spooky horse, or ride into a spooky situation, is all fine and dandy in theeeeory and for those up to tackling it... but I think there are other ways to deal with it and I have no desire to put myself at any more risk, while riding, than I absolutely have to. I will generally find a way to avoid the spooky area -- but I'll avoid it on my terms by turning away before the horse tries to turn itself away -- until the horse isn't as bothered. I feel for the body tension and look for that satellite-dish ear that locks onto whatever the thing is. Or feel for the "don't wanna go there" resistance in the horse. Etc. When those wear off a bit then I feel braver and I find the horse does too. And if there's an area that's ALWAYS a problem I'll spend lots of time by it, checking it out, feeding treats near it... when I'm OFF the horse!  Like getting my coach's horse to stop spooking at the plexi in the arena last winter. (He eventually learned to love that plexi so much he would practically make out with his own reflection.)

My most recent (tiny) spook on Elle was funny because her front end spooked back and her back end spooked forward and the end result was her just kind of going "eek!" in place without actually going anywhere. One time she spooked at a leaf on the ground. And once at her own footprints. But they're all teeny tiny and silly little nothing spooks. Love her!!


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## SteadyOn

Kalraii said:


> I wanted to ask before but forgot - do you have any end(ish) goal? To show? etc... because you have the kind of focus I admire!


Thank you so much!! 

Well... So, I was suppooooosed to show this year. But basically I got too busy, too exhausted, and too broke. My coach also got overwhelmed with too many hours at her other job. And the other girl who was going to show as well this year decided not to, so... it never got off the ground. Unfortunately. It's too bad but it is what it is. Some of the shows and opportunities that were supposed to happen also just didn't materialize.

I spent last summer being somewhat jealous of the woman showing Elle. She had only just started riding her that season, but was having three lessons a week on her. Which meant that I didn't get to ride her in lessons anywhere near as much, and I didn't have the opportunity to show her (though I never said anything and I never pushed for it, so that's on me). My better self was happy for my coach having such a good regular client, and Elle was really fit from all the work and looked fantastic and was going really nicely. But I wished it could have been me.

I have my fingers crossed that next year will work out better. Elle is into her 20s now and while she is sound and energetic, she does need daily low dose previcox to keep her from getting stiff, and she does have times when she's a bit off. I hope she stays sound for years to come, but you never know with an older horse (or with any horse for that matter!). If I never get a season of showing her, I'll be sad about it because I've done so much with her, but I'm not going to beat myself up with regret or anything because I know it just couldn't have happened, so far.

I've told myself that I could consider buying something after Elle is fully retired. MAYBE. If I do, I'll likely show whatever I end up with, haha. But that would be years down the road. And I'm not even sure ownership is for me -- especially when there are so many good horses around here that need riders!


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## SteadyOn

*Back in the saddle!!!*

So, I finally got back up there tonight!

Hauled my weird, achey (but slightly less achey) body into the saddle, and had a lesson on Elle tonight. Worked on some circles in trot, initially, and on lengthening her out and collecting her up. That was interesting, because I'm finding the collection quite easy lately... but I honestly couldn't even say how I'm doing it. Maybe more core, smaller and slower posting, and sitting more upright? But also just... something? Once the feel is there, you can start to just DO things, and I think that's when riding starts to feel a bit magical!

We did some work on going up centre line and then leg yielding out to the wall. That went pretty well, actually. But when we switched things up and tried to do shoulder-in half way down the long side, 10m circle at the mid-way point, then haunches-in after the circle, well... I could not remember how to do haunches in and I was all over the place and kept riding her into the fence. Augh! Had to get walked through all the aids. And I was trying to do way too much with my reins. If I've learned anything from out turns on the forehand, for example, it's that the less I try to micromanage that part, the better the outcome. But it's hard to know what to edit it back to, to get the best result from the least interference.

There was also a bunch of canter work in there, with some flying changes across the diagonal. We didn't focus too much on canter specifics, but I think worked on it more for her, as well as my, stamina. There were a few times when I was trying to bring her up and sit her back and I used too much brakes and not enough gas pedal and we dropped back into trot. I need to work on those half halts. She also started getting strong and leaning on me in canter, at one point, so we did some quick trot to turn on the forehand and repeat maneuvers. 

Anyhow, back to the haunches-in in trot, then in walk when I couldn't get it working in trot. We were just starting to get ourselves sorted when the pinched nerve in the ball of my right foot started screaming. So, at my request, we switched to some no-stirrups trot work. We just zipped around on the rail on a loose rein, and I worked on stretching my hips, relaxing my legs, and makings myself tall and looooonnngg. Really opens the hips! I did a few laps in sitting and a few laps each way rising. I can't believe how far the no stirrups trot work has come in a few short years! It used to feel SO HARD and exhausting but now I just LOVE it!

At the end of the lesson my coach said "I expected you to be a total train wreck tonight but you were actually great!" :razz: She knows all the crap I've been dealing with this month and that I haven't been riding much as a result. But apparently I rode well, even for NORMAL me, so that's pretty awesome! I was overthinking my rein use, but that was because "I haven't been able to yell at you much lately." 

I had the most awkward dismount ever, as I sort of scaled down Elle in a slow motion descent, trying not to hurt my ankle or the ball of my foot. But I've actually felt good the rest of the evening, and my right foot doesn't feel as locked up and I've been stretching it out all night. I definitely seem to be at the point in healing where movement is GOOD, so that's great! More ponies for meeeee!!!


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## SteadyOn

whisperbaby22 said:


> I don't know how old you are, aging can be terrible, but it can be wonderful. A lot of it is outlook. For me, being this old is great. A lot of the struggle is behind me. Yes I have been very lucky, but with age comes wisdom.


I'm late 30s right now.  I've definitely enjoyed mentally maturing, and I agree that that part is just getting better and better! It's the body stuff that scares me though! I've always been really healthy and mobile, so having a sneak preview of what potential arthritis in my joints, and all-over body stiffness, etc, is going to feel like is... yikes. I really hope this was all just a blip and that it passes! 

I like being energetic and fit and it's weird to have to take it easy right now while people I know are doing obstacle races and going to the gym and that sort of thing. It's so strange for me to WANT to work out but not be able to! I've always wanted to be one of those people who's still going out for runs in my 80s. But right now I'm still limping when I walk. :-(


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## whisperbaby22

I'm sorry to hear that. The only thought I can contribute is that medical science is apt to be able to control things like arthritis in your lifetime. I have seen many breakthroughs in my time, and it just keeps getting better.


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## SteadyOn

I made the mistake last night of not taking a decent dose of ibuprofen before I went out riding, so my ankle was pretty touchy and I was ouchy and kind of limpy after my lesson. Today I started the day off with a good solid dose though and I'm moving better. Yay?

The lesson itself was good! Worked on adjusting Elle's trot, which is becoming pretty intuitive now. Also lots of turns on the forehand, which are getting so good that I can't remember which way she objected to previously!

A couple of interesting things: we were really good going to the left, in trot and canter, even though that's technically my stiffer direction (at least in my upper body). But going to the right, she wanted to cut in on her turns, and I really wanted to lean in on my turns that way too (especially in canter) which made it dramatically worse. For example: a 20m circle to the left? No problem! Nice and straight and we stayed out on a big round circle. To the right? It was, ummm, 2/3 the size and I had to fight to keep it from getting even smaller.

I found it helped to think of riding straight to the right, even though we were on a turn. Less barrel racer, more carousel horse, haha. Just keeping both of us as upright as possible while still staying on a slight bend. Maaaaan did I ever have to consciously fight that lean, though!! Otherwise my canter seat felt quite good. Going to the left, I was REALLY in the tack. My butt was glued to the saddle. Eventually I got there going right, too, but it took a bit. We actually took a break between left and right lead canters because our initial trips to the right were so wonky -- and Elle had some good coughs brewing, so we wanted to give her a chance to clear those out. She always gets phlegmy when the weather changes.

In between canter sessions, we did a trot serpentine and, again, she was cutting her turns to the right. So to keep her straighter, and to stop her from anticipating, I rode her towards the rail like almost like we were going to jump it, then would turn her left at the last moment, when she expected right. After a bit of that I could feel her have this sort of "waaaait whaaaat??" wiggle in her body as she tried to guess and couldn't, and at that point we went back to a normal serpentine and it was much better!

That canter seat breakthrough I had a few weeks ago is still paying off, as I was able to use my upper body so much better last night. I find that, thinking about "opening the book" more during the stride keeps me sitting strong on top of the canter no matter how big it starts to feel. I can open my hip angle and follow with my hands as much or as little as necessary without my seat and upper body having to change too much. It's great! Now when my coach tells me to push out her canter, I don't defensively stand in my stirrups and end up in a weird not-actually-hunt-seat-but-not-dressage-either ugly half-way place. Sweet!!

Elle was using herself well, too, and rounding more instead of going along strung out. It's really nice when you feel her start to do it of her own accord, too, instead of being cajoled into it. It's a nice compliment from her, saying that she wants to move better into whatever it is we're doing!

Dismounting was super extra awkward as I sort of slithered off her back to avoid landing hard on my sore feet and ankle. I asked my coach to hold her just in case my awkward dismount went badly, and I managed to poke her in the face with the whip. Best. Student. Everrrrr.

Then I went home and took a lot of Advil and iced EVERYTHING!! Ugh! I regret nothing though!!


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## SteadyOn

Anyone else use their paddock boots as casual boots? I'm finding that with my ankle/feet situation, I need something with some support and my Ariat paddock boots are doing the trick. Plus they look sharp. Also, the zipper on my half chaps is hopelessly stuck, so until I can find a decent replacement (and that has been its own saga), I'm using my like-new tall boots and just praying that I can keep them looking nice!

Tonight I have a lesson. I'm going to pre-load with a lot of ibuprofen before I head out. Right now my pain levels are pretty minimal so long as I keep a lot of anti-inflammatories in my system. They are not so awesome if I don't. And I think that was my mistake for my last ride: I didn't take a good dose to time itself with the ride. So, we'll see how tonight goes!


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## AndyTheCornbread

I ride in a light combat boot because I often get down and walk stretches on long days in the saddle. I also use the same boots when I feed etc. so mine kind of get used for everything. I don't switch to a heavier hunting boot until fall & winter but both boot types have good ankle support and because of the lower wider heel you aren't setting yourself up for a rolled ankle like you do with higher heeled boots.


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## tinyliny

Hey there,
I'm just now reading some of your more recent entries. I won't be able to go back and read all. But, the TMJ stuff made me want to jump in and comment.


When I was 16 I woke up one mornging and COULD NOT OPEN MY MOUTH! my jaw just sort of ground painfully when I tried to open my jaws. It was terrifying, to not be able to open your jaws. I went to the dentist, but there was really nothing he could do. I had to eat through a straw for a day or two. I could barely chew the tiniest bites. But each day i recoverd more ability to open my jaw. However, it now moved on a different 'track', and openned not straight, but somewhat to the side. 



Apparently I had been grinding so much that I had damaged the 'channel' through which the jaw bone glides , the soft tissues seized up, and when they recovered, my jaw openned crooked . . . .and still does to this day. It means I chew harder on my right side, and wear down that side more than the left. But, with regular use of my nightguard, I do not have much jaw pain.


However, if I have dental work done, such as a root canal, where I must have my jaw forced open for extended periods of time, my jaw joints become super inflamed and I cannot close my jaw properly, no matter how hard I try. the pain is intense, . . intense! I found that use of actual opioid pain medication was the only thing that helped me relax enough to be able to sleep. And sleep and total relaxation are the only way for this cycle of inflammation, pain, tension and more inflammation to be broken.


My dentisit knows this, and she will give me a perscription for 2 days of pain meds any time I have REAL dental work (more than cleaning). She knows I am not making it up . My jaws will literally feel like they are on fire! Once it subsides, the swelling goes down, my jaw will return to it's crooked, but 'normal' track, and I can eat and rest properly.


Now, using a store bought night guard can almost be worse than nothing. If it is 'rubbery' you will end up unconciously chewing hard on it all night, exhausting the muscles. a night guard should be hard plastic, with a nice sort of 'groove' into which you can place your lower incissors. or , at least a flat surface. NOT a rubbery, soft thing thaty you can compress and work side to side. It is that side to side motion that really works your jaw up.


Also, pain in your shoulders and back can totally be connected to that jaw problem Get a new mouth guard ASAP. Sorry, but eat the cost and get it done. 



another thing that can cuase pain in those areas is if your neck is out of alignment. AND, you neck can become out of alignment if your FEET are not properly aligned. You knees are not working properly, your pelvis is kilted forward, etc. etc. Your neck becomes an expression of things below it not working right. I would suggest seeing a chiropractor, or a movement/gait analysis pro. 



I have had (and still do) back and hip pain for years. I have had so many visits to docs and chiros, and stuff, so much dollars spent. But, one of the main reasons I have this is that my gluteal muscles are week. I am beginning to realize how having strong gluteal muscles is foundational to everything. that might be soemthing to consider. I bet you are in WAY better shape than I am, but you may be super strong in the abs, but have way too tight psoas/hip flexor muslces, and too weak gluteal muscles, creating an imbalance.


As to aging, you have a long time ahead of you where the changes are not really that big. Most people can do about the same amount of work or play in their 40's and 50's as they can in their 30's. A bit slower, with a bit more pain afterward. I have distinctly noticed at 61 that I am really losing flexibility and energy, and courage to ride through anything fast or scary. But, I still enjoy what I do do with , dare I say, an even greater gusto than at 41.


I love your explanations of your lessons. Your awareness of your own body is a great asset. Many people lack this .


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## SteadyOn

Thanks @tinyliny! I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I now know firsthand how not-fun all of that is -- though at least, so far, I've had enough mobility in the jaw through all of this to at least eat. Sometimes just small, soft things, but still, food! At one point I was popping Tylenol 3s just to feel okay enough to sleep part of the night, so yay codeine! I'm happy to report that I've been fitted for a new, REAL night guard and that I'm going in tomorrow to pick it up. Thank goodness!! I start physio for the jaw on Friday, and I'll inquire about the whole mess of other symptoms, but if I don't get the answers there that I need, I'm going to look into a chiropractor here that my trainer has recommended. I'm in the process of changing my primary care physician (I'm still technically with the one that's hours away, from my previous home), but I can't get in to the new, local one until October. So hopefully nothing gets too stupid before then.

Current pain levels: not bad at all if I stay on top of taking ibuprofen. Not so good if I don't. I only notice the jaw if I yawn, sneeze, or, well, eat. The worst right now is actually the ball of my right foot, I think from compensating for the left ankle for those weeks. Ankle is 80% better. Still get a little twinge if I bend it far, and it gets tired over the course of the day, but it's ankle-ing mostly correctly. Left big toe is swollen and hates me a bit, also from my previous gait change from the ankle, I assume. Back is fine now and no longer spasming, shoulders are mostly better. Rib cage and sternum can get pretty bad. Weirdly my neck itself has felt fine through all this, but everything attached to it has been questionable so I suspect it's not as okay as I think it is.

I'm sure I must have weaknesses and imbalances. When I rode the horse simulator in January, I was surprised at how tight the instructor still found my hips to be. I had thought they'd gotten a lot better -- which they had, but I was starting from basically zero when I came back to riding. It would be interesting to go back and get assessed now, after this season. My core strength is now quite good, but I know I have other areas that definitely need work. Once I stop feeling totally busted everywhere, I'd like to start taking some yoga classes or pilates or something. Anything that will help with evenness, flexibility, and balance. I've never been very flexible. At all. So probably time to work on that, and I know I probably won't unless I have the commitment of a class to go to. Plus there's no proper substitute for someone telling you when you've got it wrong/right.

Meanwhile, I think riding right now is really good for me. I need to keep moving and maintain/regain my strength -- but I also don't want to do things that are high impact on my angry feet. Having a horse carry me around is perfect!


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## whisperbaby22

Just another justification of how great riding is for us.


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## tinyliny

I think riders are often very strong in the FRONT of their bodies, but weaker in the BACK (back and gluteal muscles). That can set one up for the overtight hip flexor and psoas muscles. 



I am unable to take ibuprofen due to allergy, in fact cannot take NSAIDs of any kind for more than a day or two. They rip the _ out of my stomach.!


Anyway, go for a walk, have a nice ride, focus on all that is working well, since I'm sure it outweighs the trouble making parts.


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## SteadyOn

I had a lesson last night and it was the most normal I've felt riding, so far, since all this wackiness began. Started off on a bit of a bad foot, with Elle being extremely fidgety in the cross ties and me having to micromanage her the whole time I was trying to get us both ready. Ugh. She doesn't tie solid (and now that she's into her 20s it's really not going to get fixed) and will normally stand quietly if the lead rope is just pulled through a ring and allowed to slide, but she was taking full advantage of that freedom to walk and wiggle all over the place.

Then, when it was time to mount up, she swung her butt away from the mounting block. A-HEM, young lady!! She did it once and I thought maybe she was just distracted, but when she did it again on attempt two, we had words. :/ Attempt three was perfect.

I warmed up in walk with some turns on the forehand. She was sticky on the first couple but good after that. Trot was nice and straight and forward. She was moving well.

We worked on adjusting her in the trot, and after a bit of that, started onto trot serpentines, building on the better turns and straightness we were getting last time. After a couple of goes at it, we added a 20m canter circle at A and C. Now, I can't remember exactly why -- I think maybe she was trying to putter out in canter, or anticipate the downwards transition? -- but I called out that I was going to keep her in canter after the circle for some schooling reason or other. (One thing I love about my coach: I can change the plan in the moment if it feels like the right training decision.) So I continued the serpentine in canter and threw in a flying change at centre line after the first curve. On the next turn though, the flying change didn't happen until I basically had to throw her into it on the turn. Sooooo we worked on some flying changes.

Her change left-to-right is easy easy easy. Her change right-to-left is... not so easy. When she's in shape and in practice with them, she'll do both on command with little fuss, but she hasn't been doing them, really, this whole season. So right-to-left was a big ol' mess. When she's out of practice with her changes, she tends to get divey in them, too, which makes me brace in anticipation and makes the whole thing harder. Ugh.

Anyhow, our right to left changes were pretty rotten. They were late, or she only swapped the front, or she'd break into trot, or... just not change. At one point my coach yelled gleefully "Hey, YOU opened this can of worms!!" at me. Siiiiiigghhhh. She upped the ante on me be asking me to do TWO changes across the diagonal! One coming right off the wall, then one before the other wall, and continuing in counter canter. Wellllll, we absolutely failed at that, so instead she had me do a flying change right after coming off the wall, then starting a circle in the opposite direction to get the other change... which still mostly failed, but EVENTUALLY we got a change. Then after that we got a really NICE change -- the bad direction, even! And the difference? Oh yeah, I remembered to ACTUALLY use my core and collect her right up and sit her back before asking. Sigh. Amazing how much better my rides go when I remember to, you know, RIDE.

Oh! I forgot. At a certain point in the canter work, she had a really good cough building up so we took a break to let her cruise around in canter a bit, on a loose rein, to see if she would hork up whatever it was. She didn't cough much after all, but was in this big circle in a bit of a power canter, and me, being a genius, found myself only holding ONE rein with my other hand clamped to the saddle pad, with her ignoring my seat and legs asking her to slow and my coach yelling "Uh why don't you pick up the OTHER REIN??" and I'm there going "Good question!" as we gallumphed around semi-out-of-control. I did snap out of it and let go and grab the rein and stop the very very very mild runaway that was happening, hahahaha. Is it really a runaway if the horse stays in a nice canter and you never properly asked them to stop? 

Sooo, then we moved on to leg yields from centre line out to the corner. These are getting so much better, too. And like so many things, the less I do to get them, the better they are. I don't know about other people, but I tend to overdo everything as part of my learning process, and then I have to pare it back to just what works. If only it were possible to START simply, haha. But that is not how I am wired, it seems.

Finished with some long-rein stretchy trot before cooling down. Dismounting was less awkward and uncomfortable this time. No one was whipped in the face.  All in all, a win!!


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## SteadyOn

Ugh ugh ugggghhhhhh.

I had a lesson last night -- first ride in exactly one week -- and my body was being super weird. Now, I have some crookedness issues -- I think most people do -- but they're usually in my upper body. My lower body is usually even and balanced. (Again, as much as anyone's ever is.) But for the last few weeks my left stirrup has looked shorter when I ride -- even though it isn't -- and last night it was worse than ever. And the problem causing it was actually easily noticeable this time. My left hip was being really, really tight. Wanting to shorten up, but also be over further to that side, while my ankle wouldn't drop as much (which isn't surprising as that's the ankle that's been giving me trouble). But my hips had never been so out of whack. 

My coach had me trot without stirrups for a bit to see what that looked like. I felt pretty unbalanced, whereas I'm usually really really good in that -- but I also never *start* my ride with it. I always wait until the end. So who knows how much of that was me being off, vs. me not being warmed up.

Anyhow, it was lunge line time! First time in ages! I crossed my stirrups over and just rested my hands on the leathers to give them something to do. (I'm nervous when I don't have reins in my hands, so something to hold lightly -- even if it's something useless -- still makes me less anxious.) We did loads and loads of slow sitting trot, first to the left, to try to get that hip to unlock a bit. I worked on pushing it back, and pushing my whole leg back and down, and letting it hang there all floppy. To get it into place I was turning my whole body, lower and upper, exaggeratedly into the circle, and then readjusting my upper body to straighten it out again while trying to keep my leg back in that stretch. It was HARD but it started to get better. I tried to think of everything on that side, starting from my head, being a dead thing that was dragging behind us. Hey, sometimes visualizations are GREAT!

When we switched directions, Elle kept wanting to come in on the circle. Once again, this was the fault of my left hip wanting to tighten up and creep forward. So when I worked on pushing it back to get straighter in the saddle, the circle widened back out. It was pretty cool actually, to do that much with just my hip and not influence her at all with the reins! Really shows how much straightness really REALLY matters in the rider!! A couple of weeks ago, I was having issues on her with our circles to the right spiralling down unintentionally. Hey, now I know why!! I was unintentionally guiding her in by having my hips turned too far. Even though I know it, it still blows my mind at times, how sensitive they are.

All of that work did help to loosen and straighten me out. I was released from the line to go ride the same big circle with my reins again, now with my stirrups back, and in rising trot. This was looking and feeling a lot better -- and Elle's trot was fantastic! She was moving well, really into the contact (but not in a leaning way), and felt powerful and forward. I was a lot straighter, BUT! My lower back was really wanting to hollow. It's normally quite straight when I ride and isn't something that's ever much of an issue. My coach had me think of engaging my core muscles more on every single sit in the posting, and it got a lot better.

Soooooo everything is still weird. I did start physio last Friday. The poor physiotherapist thought I was just coming in to have my TMJ problem assessed, and I unloaded all this other fun fun fun stuff on her. But she took it all in, packed as much as she possibly could into the appointment, and made a lot of noises. Hmmm. She thinks the ankle problem may actually be a result of an L5 issue in my back. So thaaat's interesting. Needless to say, I have several more appointments booked. :/


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## SteadyOn

I had a lesson tonight and I am VERY happy to say that I was moving a lot more normally.

Last night I was having some insomnia issues, and I decided to just get up at 5:00am this morning and start doing some artwork that I had been putting off. I actually had a great time getting a few things done in the quiet, dark hours, while my partner continued to snooze away until "normal" wake-up time.

However, the downside to that was that I was pretty fatigued by the time I got to tonight's lesson. I was having trouble staying alert on the drive out -- though I managed, of course. Still, word of advice: if you're ever wondering whether or not to pick up a coffee for a long drive while tired, GET THE DANG COFFEE.

Anyhow, I took enough ibuprofen to numb an elephant (okay okay I actually only took 1.5 extra strength tablets, worry not) about an hour and a half before my ride. Since most of the things going on right now are inflammatory, this makes a HUUUUGE difference.

We warmed up on the longe line again. No-stirrups trot. Worked on getting me to relax my leg, first from the hip and then from the knee down. Things were moving a LOT more normally, so we didn't spend too long on that. When I went trotting around the arena afterwards, I didn't have the weird problem I had last time, either, where I was hollowing by back and sticking my butt way out. Phew!!

We didn't do canter work the other night, because my body was being SO off, but we did tonight. It was pretty rough. Elle was giving me her roughest-feeling canter, and between the body issues lately and just the FATIGUE of so little sleep, all my worst habits crept in to my canter. Elle has a nice canter once you're used to it, and if you gather it up, but her butt can end up feeling like a pogo stick, so if you don't have a lot of strength and focus to counter that bounce, your behind catches air every stride. That was happening to me. I was also aware that I was getting way, way too handsy. It's tempting with her, because she'll just tolerate and lean into a TON of rein contact, but that's not the way I want to ride. I eventually cried uncle on the canter work, and we switched back to some leg yield in trot.

In the leg yield, she's great going left but gets lazy and lets her butt drag behind the rest of her when we go to the right. While usually the answer to getting a cleaner movement is to do as little as possible, I think I actually wasn't doing enough -- or just not enough of the right things -- to get her straight and keep her there.

Other than feeling tired, the only real weirdness tonight (that was different from my usual issues) was that my legs really really wanted to creep forward. I think my hips and core were too tired and were unwilling to do their jobs.

Oh, funny moment: we were trying to canter straight up the long side, on a left lead. My coach yelled at me to get straighter because Elle was drifting her bum to the inside. When I tried to move her bum over, she decided to do a lead change instead, setting us up for counter-canter into the corner. This happened twice on a row. *facepalm* It was my fault for doing too much left leg to fix the problem. But... it was funny. She is ALWAYS primed for that left-to-right lead change, so will take any hint as a reason to do it. But right-to-left? She's all "Lalalalalalalalalala I didn't hear you!"

Anyhow, exhaustion aside, it was miles better than the other night, and I'm starting to feel hopeful. I have more physio tomorrow, so we'll see what she makes of me this week!


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## SteadyOn

I had my second physio appointment yesterday, and we basically totally skipped the jaw, which is doing really well and just needs me to keep doing my exercises and wearing my night guard. I'm still avoiding eating anything hard or anything that requires big bites, but I have a LOT more motion and stability, and a lot less pain, that I had even two weeks ago. They did do ultrasound therapy on it, though, but after that we skipped straight to the back issues.

The ankle issue is continuing, though improving, but she's certain it's coming from higher up. And my back is behaving oddly, in a way that is affecting my left hip's strength and flexibility. My back is trying to take over and swing my left leg instead of the motion coming from the hip, and my lower back is wanting to hollow itself and roll my pelvis forward. NONE of this is normal for me. I actually showed her some video of me riding three months ago vs. last week and she said I looked like a different person. Everything was fine before.

She showed me how to isolate some of the smaller muscles in my back and core that aren't doing their jobs right now. And heeeeey, you know what's GREAT for little stabilizing muscles in your back and core???

MY FAVOURITE THING! No stirrups trot work!!! I'm not even being sarcastic, I actually love it, so I rushed out to the barn this morning and did a half hour ride that was ALL no-stirrups trot work!!

It felt so good, and my back and hip actually completely cooperated. I felt really strong and balanced. And with no-stirrups trot work, you can't cheat. You can't just not use your abs, or tighten up your hips, or swing your back around, or you will bounce to the moon. Thankfully Elle is like a little chugga chugga locomotive when you get her going in that. At first we did the saddest little poky barely-a-trot (at my request) to get me warmed up, then gradually worked up into a more normal trot -- all sitting trot to this point. Did lots of serpentines, different sizes of circles, etc., to make sure my hips were performing correctly on all the turns. After quite a bit of that, I switched to rising trot and added a circle half way down each side. After a few laps of that each direction, we went into a bigger trot, I resumed sitting, and we motored around the arena, letting her stretch, and I would only slow her if I started to feel some bounce happening.

I was super super super happy, because it all felt WAY more normal and balanced than I expected, and I was able to make subtle adjustments that I didn't expect to be able to make. I also think that avoiding stirrups right now is a good move, as my left ankle is still tight and I think that's part of what's making things so weird when I have my stirrups.

Anyhow, woooooo, progress!

Oh, I forgot to mention: they used a TENS unit on my back, then did acupuncture. It was a first for me for both. It was cool! I especially liked the TENS.


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## whisperbaby22

Sitting trot with stirrups has always been hard for me. Probably because I did a lot of bareback pad riding as a kid. My feet just fly out of the stirrups if I try. But yes, sitting trot is very good for keeping in shape.


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## SteadyOn

Haven't updated in a bit, as work has been crazy stressful/time consuming, and the rides I've been having lately have been fine, but nothing has really stood out.

If you read to the end of this entry, though, there's a "FUN" moment that happened today!! :O

On the health front: I did more blood work about a week and a half ago, and the good news is that my inflammation levels were back down, and I don't have rheumatoid factor, which means it's almost certainly not rheumatoid arthritis. The bad news is, the blood work indicated something possibly autoimmune -- but not _what_. Ughhhhh. Apparently it's also possible, though, to get a false positive on that. I have a referral to a specialist, but it's going to be a two month wait. 

I had a good three or four days this past week where I was nearly back to normal. Ankle felt pretty good, and the soreness and swelling in my feet was almost gone. Gave me a chance to give my body a break from ibuprofen. But the last few days, the ankle and foot symptoms came back (though pretty mild compared to what they were before), so it's back to *shakes Advil bottle* but I'm keeping the dose as low as possible. I've been on my feet way too much with work, which probably aggravated things, but I'm self employed and taking a break at this time of year is not an option. Sooooon though.

Anyhow, back to riding. So, today was my first lesson in a few weeks. Just haven't been connecting, timing wise, with my instructor -- though I have been able to ride. She said I looked a lot straighter and more normal now. My issues today were more in line with my usual issues, haha, so that's good I guess. It was cold so we did a lot of walking before starting anything else. Did some stretchy trot, too, to help Elle warm up, and to let her phlegm loosen up. (She has to do a lot of clearing coughs when the weather gets cold.) After she started trotting well and tracking up, we had me do a LOT of no stirrups trot. I was bouncier than usual at first -- probably because I'm not used to riding in the cold weather yet! -- but I settled in. At first I was getting jostled in a pretty slow jog, but I was eventually able to handle a decent trot. We did circles and serpentines to check my balance, and that all went pretty well. My coach asked if I wanted to take my stirrups back at one point, but I asked to push it a little longer. Eventually I got tired and my form and balance were going a bit, so I declared "diminishing returns!" on the no stirrups work and took them back.

We did some more trot work and then did just a few circles in canter, both directions. We started to the right, and she wanted to run into it and it was pretty bouncy. I found myself really wanting to brace into the stirrups and almost half seat it -- which was fine in my hunter days but we're really trying to train that impulse out of me! My coach did say that Elle was not giving me a very good canter that direction. So it's good to hear that it's not just my seat being crap or something. She suggested less outside rein, more inside rein (which is almost never what you hear from an instructor, hahaha) as I was overdoing my left rein to try to hold her out on the circle.

Her left lead canter was lovely right away! Smooth, just the right amount of forward, balanced, and relatively easy to sit. The crazy thing is that this used to be her "bad" direction. Funny how things can change. 

After that, we ended the lesson and were standing around talking. Discussing getting my hips more open, and getting me to keep my leg further back generally instead of jamming my heels down so much. She also suggested that it's time for me to lower my stirrups a hole. Guess all that no stirrups work is starting to pay off! 

Soooo... here's where things got briefly DRAMATIC!!! My coach's dog came trotting up to the exit of the ring, carrying a totally flattened, totally frozen volleyball in her mouth. Which she had been playing with off to the side of the arena for the WHOLE lesson, and neither Elle nor I even noticed or cared. But the sun was catching it, I guess, and... You know how when a horse goes from looking at a thing to "about to explode" about the thing? That first little tic that happens before they go ka-boom? Well, Elle went from head-up-ears-forward looking at the big shiny flat thing, to head slightly higher and I knew something stupid was gonna go down. 

BIG SQUAT-AND-SHY! WHEEL AROUND! REAR! SCOOT BACKWARDS! REAR AGAIN!

Aaaaand then we were back to planet earth. My coach quickly extricated the ball from the dog's mouth and I stayed on Elle and we walked calmly back to the barn.

So... THIS IS BIG for me, because I HATE HATE HATE spooking and I usually find it pretty traumatic. Too many bad past experiences. But... I didn't panic, I kept my seat, I sure as all heck caught Elle in the mouth but... whatever. I don't think that's always such a bad thing in a spook as I'd much rather stop a bolt before it starts. I didn't immediately hop off. I made myself stay on and ride the short walk back. And I laughed about it. Aside from that one windy last year (or was it two years ago?), I've never had Elle REALLY spook, so that was wildly out of character. Just reminding me that she is, after all, still a horse.

I'm usually too focused on, you know, surviving the moment to be much aware of what my body is doing in a situation like that, so I asked my coach if it looked, even for a second, like I was going to hit the dirt during that. It hadn't felt like it. She said nope, not even for a second. My leg stayed in position and I stayed upright like I was on a carousel horse!! In the past I would have gone fetal, I think, and toppled off. Progress!!!


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## whisperbaby22

Yes, things can look different to a horse. Glad that you are getting so "sticky".


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## SteadyOn

*No stirrups November...*

...More like No Riding November, am I right?? Ughhhh.

I haven't ridden since my last entry, hence no updates.

Notable things though: I audited the Ingrid Klimke masterclass in Caledon, both days, and that was fantastic. She was nice, super smart, and clever. Even when she was being hard on people she was quite lovely about it. There was some challenging cavaletti work for all levels, for both dressage riders and jumpers. Some stunning horses. And boy, those riders were all very glad they'd kept up on their stirrup-less work, I'm sure, because there was a LOT of it. Even over some sizable obstacles, and on some hot horses. She was also big on horses getting more rein, more chances to stretch, and lots of praise. Nice to see someone at the highest levels encouraging people to let their horses OUT more.

As for me, I knew I wouldn't ride for a couple of weeks because of my work obligations, but as soon as I had some time again the weather turned and it's horrible here. Cold, icy, wet, windy. It's been winter since Halloween, basically. And before that, rain and wind and grey skies. I haven't ridden since the volleyball incident. Not the greatest note to end the season on (or is it? hahaha). This winter we aren't doing the winter barn co-op again. So no indoor arena, unless I decide to switch barns and coaches for the season. Which I might. I know mine wouldn't be offended as it's not like riding there will be an option until, oh, probably May. I have no intention of going that long without riding! So we'll see. All the options with indoor arenas here are hunter barns, and I've worked so hard to retrain myself out of the forward seat that I don't really want to slide back into that and spend the whole season fighting with myself to get up and back and open my hips. One barn is run by an eventer, so it's possible I could get more dressage-based lessons there, but it's far and the road conditions can get pretty bad. Soooooo. We'll see. I won't have time to ride until about the end of November anyhow.

Health-wise, I'm mostly better, though I still don't know what was wrong, exactly, in the first place. The ankle pain is mostly gone. It's just a bit stiff at times. The foot pain is still present, but better. (I used to run and want to pick that up again, but not going to do any of that until I have NO foot pain.) The back pain is gone and the shoulder pain only crops up in the evenings -- but I think it's being caused by having terrible pillows. So that's on my list of things to correct. Jaw is still not 100% but I have graduated to being able to eat most things as long as I'm mindful about it. Still need to figure out of this whole crummy episode was a one-off or if it's likely to reoccur. Blahhhh.

Anyhow, I haven't touched a horse in three weeks and that sucks. But I'm off to the Royal in Toronto later this week, so I do have that to look forward to!!


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## SteadyOn

*Countin' flowers on the wall...*

Still in no-riding limbo. I haven't heard from my coach about the winter part board possibility, so either it's not happening, or not happening any time too soon. Alas. 

So I contacted another barn this week, left a voicemail and an email, but it's been two days and no one has gotten back in touch with me. Doesn't mean I still won't hear back, but I had hoped to maybe get something started this week. I had some major work commitments that finally wrapped up this weekend, and I haven't ridden since the middle of October. It's been almost three years since I've gone this long without riding. Soooo, I'm pretty keen, but... radio silence from that barn. No idea why. She's been actively looking for students, and I can see that she's ready my message, so hopefully she's just been away or something?

Ugggh, I dislike not riding. I'm finally not in pain (BIG yay!!) though I still don't know what went wrong in the first place. Still investigating that medically. But I feel almost like I did before all of this happened -- if a bit squishier and stiffer from having taken time off from exercise -- so I'm eager to get myself back into shape before it gets any worse.

I need to stop staring at my phone, and swearing under breath every time it rings with a call from anywhere BUT that barn. Feels like waiting for a boy to call back after a date. :lol: I guess if I don't hear back before next week, I'll either try again or keep shopping around...


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## knightrider

Wow, I wish you lived closer to me. I have extra horses and usually am looking for someone to ride them with me. We'd have so much fun. Too bad you are so far away.


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## SteadyOn

knightrider said:


> Wow, I wish you lived closer to me. I have extra horses and usually am looking for someone to ride them with me. We'd have so much fun. Too bad you are so far away.


Aww, thanks!! Too bad I'm not going to Florida again this January, or I else would take you up on that!  Funny thing, Florida is the only place I've ridden Pasos so far. Well, one Paso. I really enjoyed him!

Meanwhile, I'm happy to report that I now have a lesson booked at the new barn for tomorrow morning, AND that my regular coach may have a part board opportunity for me -- with an indoor -- soon too! So if one falls through at least I miiiiight have a back-up, and if both fall through, there are a few horses around now that need part-boarders. Phew!! My little tantrum was for naught, it seems. Thankfully.


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## SteadyOn

*New winter barn lesson!*

Yaaaaayy I got to ride, FINALLY! Six weeks of nothing, and had a lesson this morning at the new barn.

The woman who runs it is very nice, and very experienced. She gave me my choice of a very large horse who is well schooled but can be spooky, or a small horse who is greener at ring work, but easygoing. Guess which one I picked. (Hint: I'm a bit of a wimp.)

SO, the small easygoing horse was nice! Not as educated on outside rein, lateral aids, etc., but did all the major stuff pretty well. And he listened to seat aids and was quite sensitive. He's a cute little 9 year old TB, and has the good and bad of the typical TB. Very flat and straight, hard to get a bend, challenging to get him to round and use himself, though he would do it for short spells when asked, and got to doing it on his own towards the end of the lesson, especially after the canter work. His canter is really cute and very very smooth. Flatter to left, more lift in front to the right. Straightforward in the trot.

As for me, I did better than I thought! Especially for having six weeks off, and coming back from my weird joint pain problems, and on a horse I didn't know with an instructor I didn't know! Happy to say that I didn't notice any pain in the previously-ouchy ankle. Actually, if anything, my right ankle was being tight and objected to trying two-point -- which is PERFECTLY normal for me!! I was also having problems with getting my body, from the waist up, to rotate enough to the left when I was on a left rein. Also perfectly normal for me!! Especially when I'm rusty.

One funny moment: when I mounted at the block, she said "Thank you for mounting so quietly!" I asked "Wait, what do people DO??" And she said "Oh, you'd be surprised."

We did a lot of work in walk, just getting me to limber up, before picking up the trot and working on getting him going forward enough, and getting me to turn my dang body to the left. At one point she had me on a circle and was following from almost behind me, asking me to turn my torso back and LOOK at her while I turned. Owww, aaauuughhh, but I need that stretch!!

At one point, despite me being on the not spooky horse... guess what, a pretty good spook! It was fine though, and one of those ridiculous situations that no one could really predict. The instructor had been sitting on a jump rail, and it fell out of the cup and she and the rail fell and crashed into more rails and a brush box. So, a BIT of a sudden clatter!! The little horse SHOT forward for a few strides at the noise, but I kept my seat and stopped him quickly, yaaaaay. As much as I hate spooks, the few that have been happening to me lately have shown me that I can (so far) usually handle myself, and that it's not always a big deal.

Canter work was a challenge in that it was hard to actually GET a canter from this horse. See earlier mention of him being greenish to ring work. The usual method of getting an organized trot, and sitting up tall and deep to ask, just results in a REALLY FAST TROT on him. So I had to break all my own new rules and go from a very forward posting trot, and put myself in two point to ask for it while pushing my hands forward and basically giving away my reins. All the things my regular coach has trained out of me, hahahaha. I also needed to keep my hands lower than I'm used to. But it got the job done. And once he was in the canter, it was lovely! Smooth and very very easy to sit to. The kind of canter you just want to stay in all day! Just enough lift for it to be fun, but no THUMP to it like Elle's.

Once I got the hang of how to get it out of him, the rest went well. We had me canter in two point and in a full seat. I... basically don't have a two point anymore, after two and a half years of just dressage, so my "two point" stints were pretty short lived. At one point I sort of forgot to steer, and cut off one whole end of the ring. Ahh, shrug. But mostly it went well!!

She liked me riding enough that she told me I was welcome to come out and ride on my own between lessons, too, which is a really nice compliment!! I did have to break it to her that I don't know how long I'll be riding there because the other part board could still come through. But I would rather be up front with that in case it happens. Could just be there a few weeks, or could be there the whole winter.

It was nice to meet someone new in the area, ride something a little different, and get myself in with a decent winter option, so I'll call it a win. I'm sure I'll get a few more rides in there before I know about the other part board, either way. The main thing though: MAAAAAAAAAN did it feel good to get back in the saddle!!!


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## SteadyOn

Well, things are happening fast!

It's now confirmed that Elle is being moved up to a new barn for the winter. (Well, not a NEW barn. In fact, I've ridden at this barn before, on a different horse and with a different instructor. But "new" for our use.) When? THIS weekend!!

I'm super pumped, but I feel guilty, a bit, about the new barn I tried last weekend. I really liked the instructor and I could tell she really liked me. But I love my regular instructor, and love Elle, and I won't have the time or money to go to both places, at least not for the next several months. And Elle being at the winter barn is dependent on me part boarding her. If I had known this would all fall into place so quickly, I wouldn't have bothered trying a lesson somewhere else. It creates some awkwardness. I thought if this opportunity with Elle even DID happen, it would be a while yet. I'll have to let the other instructor know. I may still squeeze in a second lesson there as I had asked her about tomorrow night (though hadn't confirmed). I find new experiences are most useful when they happen in twos. And I need to remind myself that I don't need to feel bad: it's a professional service. I got the lesson I paid for, and she got paid for her time. I didn't make any bigger commitment than that, and it's nothing personal.

But I think I'll still definitely have to let her know what's happening and that I didn't know it would happen THAT soon. I'd love to go back for an occasional lesson there as I think variety can be good. But why does it feel like cheating on a significant other? :lol:

Still investigating my own health stuff. I'm hoping it doesn't turn out to be a chronic autoimmune problem, but if it is, I'll have to just educate myself as best I can and see what I can do to mitigate things. Other than a touch of foot pain here and there, and a twinge if I REALLY bend that dodgy ankle, things are mostly back to normal. Well, my level of normal -- which still always includes some minor TMJ trouble. But I'm still trying to stay off my feet more than usual. Sloooowww improvement, but improvement all the same. Riding should be perfect because it will encourage symmetry and balance and core strength, and get me stronger without pounding my feet the way I would with running or anything like that.


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## SteadyOn

So, Elle is at the new barn! I went up there Saturday night, after she had been loaded in, to help my trainer finish carrying things in, and to meet the owner of the place. I was immediately greeted by three extremely friendly barn dogs, and there are an assortment of friendly barn cats hanging out all over the place as well. The barn itself hosts about a dozen horses, and a whole bunch of chickens who are occupying some of the stalls at one end.

The place has nice large outdoor paddocks -- currently full of snow that the horses are enjoying -- and a small indoor arena. The latter of course being the reason for our winter-time move.

This morning I went back up. My trainer was supposed to come meet me there, but we had a huge dumping of snow last night and this morning, so she opted not to make the drive. It was fine though. I just brushed Elle and turned her loose in the indoor ring, loosely directing her with the lunge whip. Just to get her stretching her legs and moving around. I don't think she's been ridden since the volleyball incident about seven weeks ago, so I figured I'd just get her to run around and see the ring at least once before I mount up later this week.

At first she just wanted to hang out by the gate and yell for the other horses. Sooo I got her moving in a big trot circle. She was still trying to stick by the gate, and cut off the far end of the ring. "Destination addiction." So I worked on just keeping her moving, and making her push the circle out. After she got enough exercise both directions and was going a little more evenly, I switched up to adding pressure at the gate, and taking all pressure off away from the gate. Eventually she got to where she would trot right past the gate, and started going a little farther up to the other end of the ring.

At that point, I would ask her to walk when she was far from the gate. And then trot past the gate again. And when that was good, I started letting her stop at the far end and just stand there. But if she whinnied back to the other horses, she had to move again. Eventually she was coming in to see me and stop, at that far end, and I was giving her good neck scratches. At one point she had her head right down and I could feel her nose touching my leg. She's not normally an affectionate sort of horse, so that was a pleasant surprise. But just when I'd get some relaxation like that... ahhhh, more whinnying, so off I'd have her trotting again.

Eventually we stopped on a good note, and I lead her to that far end of the ring again to clip the lead on, and had her stand and rest for a bit before going back in. She spooked when a chicken flew up at her in one of the stalls, on our way down the aisle, and was a pill to get her blankets back on in her stall. But all in all, she was much more chill than I expected her to be for her first day "working" there.


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## SteadyOn

So, I've been up to the barn a few times now. I went up last Wednesday to meet the other part boarder and watch her ride. Unfortunately I had to cut out early to get back to work, so I didn't get to see the whole thing. But so far so good.

My coach was giving her a lesson that morning, and it was her first ride on Elle. My coach got on first, in case Elle decided to be a goon (since she hadn't been ridden since mid-October!) and it was probably a good thing she did. There was one door that Elle wanted to avoid, though she wasn't super dramatic about it -- just saying "nope" and trying to side step away from it. Once she was settled about the door, a small dog ran through the ring and surprised her -- mainly because the dog happens to match the colour of the sand -- and she jumped forward in a pretty good spook. It was over fast though and then she settled down to work. I don't think anyone would have fallen off from it, but it's probably nice to avoid that on one's first ride on a given horse.

I just got to see the other part boarder ride her at a walk before I had to go. Apparently the lesson went well, though, and Elle was very good. My coach liked the other boarder and thinks she'll work out well.

I went up the next morning to finally actually RIDE! It was cold, and I was very tired. Elle was a bit hyper, and wind was rattling doors at one end of the ring, and I'm always afraid of spooks (even though she really isn't very spooky at all) so I decided to lunge her before I hopped on. Weeeellllllllll... okay, it turned into more of a lunging session than a ride. She was "up" (for her) and reacting to things. At one point she just shot off going past the rattly door, and did a big hop and buck. Soooo I made her work. Quite hard. On the plus side, she looked GREAT and was moving well and seems surprisingly fit given that she's been doing nothing but hanging around and eating for the past seven weeks.

While I'm not one to normally lunge a horse with the goal of tiring them out before a ride, I think there are exceptional circumstances and this was one, so that's what I did. By the time I got on her she had worked up a little bit of sweat (but nothing crazy) and was much more relaxed. I just did walk and trot -- mostly sitting trot -- and didn't really worry about the quality of the gait. I just let her be poky, and I avoided the end of the ring with the rattling door until the very end of the ride. She didn't seem to care about it AT ALL at this point... but sometimes I'm spooky on behalf of the horse. Sigh. Plus I'm pretty out of shape and rusty right now -- relatively, at least -- so I wasn't keen on dealing with any surprises. At one point the little sand-coloured dog came in and poked around again, but this time I made sure she saw him and had a good look first. She didn't care one bit.

We really really didn't do much on the ride part, honestly, and I think I lunged her for longer than I rode. But it was good to just get that first ride down. I think next time, if it's windy, I might just lean something heavy against the door to minimize the banging -- probably more for my peace of mind than hers!!


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## SteadyOn

*So out of shape, so TIRED! XD*

So, after last week's ride that was just a "survive the new space" ride, I got three "real" rides in this week. And while I was still distracted by the potential for her to spook -- even though she really didn't -- it all felt much more relaxed than last week.

Ride one was on Monday, and of the rides this week, it was definitely the best. I was still cutting off the far end of the arena -- what can I say? I'm a bit of a chicken -- where the door to outside is that occasionally rattles. I've since happily discovered, at least, that there are a couple of weighted bags sitting beside the door, there for the specific purpose of shoving against the door to keep the wind from blowing at it. Nice!

Monday's ride was short but sweet. I'm keeping my rides right now to half an hour or less. I'm not fit, and Elle is not fit. But she felt GREAT -- actually better than she had before two months off. Her canter felt smooth and balanced both ways. No lean, no thump. And my canter seat was great. No bouncing. I followed easily and kept a nice upright seat. Both directions felt good -- whereas going to the right sometimes has more thump to it, from both of us. But this was smooth both ways. Elle startled at a cat at one point, but it was really nothing. Other than that, smooth sailing.

Wednesday, I rode again. Now... I got there and the "scary door" had someone outside of it, repairing a tractor. Sigh. Also, it was windy and everything was rattling. AND, to top it all off, huge chunks of snow were sliding down from the arena roof, at random. My last true fall while riding? Yeeeaaahhhh, it was from exactly that (though on a different horse). I had been doing a simple change while jumping a little cross rail course, and the horse shied from the snow at the exact moment that I was rebalancing, and I had fallen half-way off over her shoulder before electing to just let go and hit the dirt. It was a pretty easy fall, as they go, but that kind of thing still sticks with you -- plus Elle is a LOT taller than that horse was!!! :lol: So anyhow, tractor repair plus wind plus avalanches overhead put ME very on edge. As for Elle? She didn't seem to care. And, I swear, her ONLY spook that day was an in-place startle when she stepped on herself during a halt. Oh boy. But still, I could feel my own anxiety being higher than I'd like, and as I didn't want that to rub off on her, I cut the ride very short and wasn't very ambitious. Also, I could feel that we were BOTH tired and not at our best.

Today I rode again, and there was no tractor repair guy, no wind, and no snow avalanches (though the roof had a LOT of snow and looked primed for it!). It was a better ride than Wednesday's, as we were both more relaxed, but we were also both tired. Elle and I have had about the same amount of time off this fall, so we're both coming back into work from a less-than-optimal place of fitness. Plus she has a second part boarder, so she's getting some amount of work now most days. She's generally energetic, but I could feel her being like "ughh" for some of today's ride and giving me relatively poor quality movement. Her trot was fine but her canter had a lot of leaning and diving in it, and our left turns were a bit too motorcycle-ish. So after trying a bit of canter and us both being off our game a little, I worked on some forward forward trot, and let her stretch into it a bit, just to get her moving more freely. After that, instead of any sustained canter work, I did some transitions in and out of canter from trot and walk. They were... pretty terrible. Lots of running into canter, and blowing through my slow-down aids. It got better the more we did it, though, and I ended it each direction after getting a couple of good ones. I walked her out on a loos rein, then did the itty bittiest bit of sitting trot once she was relaxed (and it was not pretty, so that's going on my to-practice list) and then I hopped off, gave her a chance to get scratches and relax, and called it a day. 

I think we'll both get over this initial sloppy/tired phase pretty quickly, and I think it's going to be really good this winter! My body is cooperating, and I think I can be cautiously optimistic that everything will continue to slowly improve.


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## SteadyOn

I'm still alive!

December was absolutely absurd (as anyone who read the Holiday Stress thread will know) as I didn't have a single day off from work... until Christmas. Over the last couple of weeks, I nearly didn't ride at all (even though I have a three-rides-per-week partboard on Elle) just due to scheduling. However, now that January is here and I get some time off from my business, I can finally actually USE that partboard properly.

I had a lesson just over two weeks ago that was my first -- and only, so far -- since we moved to the new barn. It was just before Christmas and I was in a good mood, my coach was in a good mood, and it was fun. We didn't work on anything really particular. Just transitions within the trot, and getting Elle to use herself a bit more. Did a little canter work, too. We had a few laughs. Usually, when Elle and I have an unplanned downwards transition, I'll call out "That was me!" or my coach will say "That was her!" but at one point we dropped to walk accidentally after my coach said the word "walk," and I told her "That was YOU! We don't blame _you_ nearly enough!" And at one point I was supposed to do a trot to halt transition but was so pleased with my trot to walk transition that I just... forgot to halt. Pretty funny when I realized.

About a week later I tried to go out to ride, but while Elle was eating fine when I got there, she kind of went off her hay as I was tacking her up, and got this miserable expression on her face, and started pinning her ears when I was saddling her. When I was about to bridle I stood back and just really looked at her, and she just looked... kind of awful. Not herself. I can't specify what it was, really, and if I didn't know her I would not have seen it. Every once in a while, she gets these minor stress-related stomach upsets and I think maybe she was having a mild one. I untacked her, called the BO and my coach to let them know she seemed off, and brought her out to the arena and let her loose to move her around and see if she was showing any colic behaviours. She wasn't, and I could hear lots of gut sounds, but she seemed super out of it and just wanted to stand around with her head hanging, her ears kind of back, and an odd expression in her eyes. I did some very very gentle focus work with her (which pretty much consisted of just hanging out beside her) and she started doing these HUUUUUGE yawns and licks and chews. HUGE. And they lasted... a full twenty minutes. No exaggeration. Twenty full minutes of yawning and licking and stretching her jaws. I waited it out with her, stood when she wanted to stand, walked around with her when she wanted to move. Eventually she finished, looked a lot brighter, and asked to go back into the barn. And once she was back in she was back at her hay as though nothing had been wrong. I think, based on how much tension worked its way out in the yawning/licking/chewing that she's been holding on to a BUNCH of stress, and some discomfort, and I'm glad I caught it and decided not to stress her out more by trying to ride. She was completely fine the next day and has been since. So odd. Maybe all just part of adapting to the new place.

So, I finally got two rides in this week. The one on the weekend had me a bit unnerved because the far door of the arena had gotten jammed open, and there was a lot of wind and highway noise, and she was concerned about it and kept looking at it. Before I got on, I had walked her over to the open end to hang out and to check it out, and she had spooked in hand there a couple of times at, seemingly, nothing, so I wasn't keen on riding her by that open end. I stuck to the end nearest the barn, and just did a short walk trot ride, mostly on a 20m circle. She didn't spook, though she did at one point try to completely turn her head toward the open end to try to stare at it -- so I shut that down quickly! What is it about indoor arenas?? A horse who is completely fine about pretty much anything outdoors... can end up totally wigged out by ONE thing changing in an indoor.

Then, fast forward to yesterday, when the end of the arena was closed again... but sleet was rattling against the sides and the roof, and gusts of winds were BANGING the doors at the far end... and Elle was completely unconcerned, kind of poky, and totally relaxed. But don't worry, I was spooky enough for the both of us. Ugh! Took all my bravery to ride through that like it was "normal," even though she didn't react to anything or put a foot wrong. She certainly had no rabbits yesterday. She certainly DID have rabbits with the arena door open on the previous ride, though!! Me, I always have rabbits. :dance-smiley05:

The rabbits reference, for those unfamiliar with the term -- and also a great video to watch!


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## SteadyOn

I've had two nice rides since my last entry. Nothing really stands out -- which is good, I guess -- about them.

No snow on the roof, no wind, no tractor repairs, no animals popping out of unexpected places (well, almost none). 

The footing has some weird deep spots, which aren't much of a problem until we go up to canter... However...

Elle's canter is AWFUL right now. Especially to the left. She has two modes: sloppy and on the forehand, tripping over herself; or this tiny ultra-collected pogo-stick-like awfulness. Poor girl. I called my coach (her owner) and asked if we can put her back on some previcox, at least for now. Her canter might very well improve once she's in better condition, but we need to be *able* to canter, at all, to get her fitness there. So, painkillers it is, for now. Hopefully she'll be happier with that edge taken off!! She's about to turn 23, so the need for some maintenance isn't too surprising!

I'm trying not to be a wimp about the "spooky" end of the arena. It's all closed in, but it's closest to the highway and there are a lot of funny noises at that end that make her do the satellite ears thing when we go around that way. I don't like those ears and what they can lead up to, so I'm generally cautious going around that part (even though she hasn't actually DONE anything while being ridden there). She'll do a spook in hand, or on the lunge, at that end, so I try to get that out of the way before I'm up, and so far that's done it, but I need to just relax about it at this point and ride her "normally" through it. 

Actually, funny thing, the only thing that spooked her during today's ride was a cat that was lurking in the hay bales at one end of the ring. The end by the gate, where she's usually most comfortable! She did a small spook and veered away from the bales, but it wasn't upsetting for me and it was over fast. Every little spook I sit SHOULD make me more comfortable with the prospect of having to sit a spook, but... welll... Maybe I'll get there. Some day. My first horse that I owned when I was 11/12 STILL has some lasting effect on my nerves. I think because I've experienced worst case scenario reactions from a horse, it's all too easy for me to picture them happening again. Even though I very much trust Elle!!


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## knightrider

I loved your post about the rabbits and wasn't familiar with it. I was interested in what to do about getting rid of rabbits since it was all a new concept to me. You probably are already quite familiar with this, but if anyone else who enjoys your journal is interested,






I loved this whole thing. It's all good. Thank you so much for giving me a new concept. 

Personally, I dislike groundwork, though I know it is good, and I should do it. I do tons of groundwork when my colts are too young to ride. Then I start riding them, and it's all good, and I forget about groundwork because it is boring to me and not very fun, and I ride for fun. In any case, my horses don't seem to have a problem with getting wound up and me needing to wind them down (at least not very often). But I loved thinking about it, and loved your bringing it up.


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## SteadyOn

knightrider said:


> Personally, I dislike groundwork, though I know it is good, and I should do it. I do tons of groundwork when my colts are too young to ride. Then I start riding them, and it's all good, and I forget about groundwork because it is boring to me and not very fun, and I ride for fun. In any case, my horses don't seem to have a problem with getting wound up and me needing to wind them down (at least not very often). But I loved thinking about it, and loved your bringing it up.


You're very welcome! I absolutely love Warwick's training videos, and his whole philosophy. It's really changed and evolved. Even within the last year it's developed a lot.

One of his most important anti-anxiety methods now is just... standing there with them. And waiting. Get their focus, then back off and stand with them looking at you, and wait for signs of relaxation. If they get distracted, do something (move your body, wave a flag, move their hindquarters a couple of steps, whatever) to get their focus back on you... and wait again. 

There are a few reasons for this:
-Many many many horses are never given the opportunity to fully relax in the presence of a person, because we're always asking them for something. So they always hold anxiety around people because they don't know that they *can* let go.
-When horses are coming down from stress, and doing the whole twitch/lick/chew/yawn thing, their brain is releasing dopamine. So they're getting a feel-good hit. If a horse can associate that feel-good hit with being in your presence, they'll seek it more. Both the relaxation -- and your presence.

The amount of "stuff" that can start to work out of their expressions and faces is just totally nuts. Anything from twitching nostrils to HUUUUUGE nonstop yawns and licks. If possible you want to be with them until they get it ALL out.

So if you're not into normal "groundwork," then starting with that -- just literally standing quietly facing your horse at the end of a slack lead rope, keeping yourself relaxed and all your focus on being with them (as opposed to on your phone, etc) will go a long way towards starting to de-rabbit your horses (and yourself!).


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## knightrider

> -Many many many horses are never given the opportunity to fully relax in the presence of a person, because we're always asking them for something. So they always hold anxiety around people because they don't know that they *can* let go.
> -When horses are coming down from stress, and doing the whole twitch/lick/chew/yawn thing, their brain is releasing dopamine. So they're getting a feel-good hit. If a horse can associate that feel-good hit with being in your presence, they'll seek it more. Both the relaxation -- and your presence.
> 
> The amount of "stuff" that can start to work out of their expressions and faces is just totally nuts. Anything from twitching nostrils to HUUUUUGE nonstop yawns and licks. If possible you want to be with them until they get it ALL out.
> 
> So if you're not into normal "groundwork," then starting with that -- just literally standing quietly facing your horse at the end of a slack lead rope, keeping yourself relaxed and all your focus on being with them (as opposed to on your phone, etc) will go a long way towards starting to de-rabbit your horses (and yourself!).


I really liked this. I think perhaps I don't go out of my way much to do this sort of thing because my horses live with me and I feed them and brush them and do all their care. In the winter, I take hay out to them 4 times a day. If we have watermelon or carrots or apples or things they might like to eat, I take the peelings or whatever out to them. I often just stand and stroke them when I give them stuff. They get brushed every day. So there is a lot of that just bonding sharing time for no reason except I like them and like being around them. It's easy when they are just out my back door. And I've had them all since they were colts.


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## SteadyOn

I had a lesson on Friday, and then rode, just myself, today. Both on Elle.

Friday's lesson was good, but it was one of those where some things just seem to be a lot harder than they should be -- or even usually are. Our canter was a bit of a wreck. It was mostly me, as I'm still getting back into shape after the autumn's extended break + bizarre undiagnosed pain flare. (Saw a rheumatologist, finally, last week. My symptoms are 95% gone now, but we're still being thorough looking into it. He thinks it was probably a weird post-viral arthritis that is hopefully a one-off and won't -- hopefully -- come back.)

Anyhow, I was being tight, and she was being stiff and weird in canter, and my tightness was exacerbating her stiffness and weirdness, and vice versa. She wasn't TOO bad at first, but neither she nor I wanted to really move out and sustain the canter. I still have times where I really overthink the canter, and can't just let myself let loose and GO. When we tried cantering to the left, I was using too much inside rein, and unintentionally balancing myself a bit on her mouth at times (which I know sounds AWFUL, and I agree to an extent, but it's easy to accidentally do with her because she will LEEEEEEAAAAN on the reins, given the option/opportunity, at times.) She also started trying to swap leads, either with just the back end, or entirely. This would, of course, feel awful, so I would bring her back down to trot or walk and reorganize, then ask for canter again. But she just. KEPT. Doing. It!! My coach said I was being crooked in places, and that was likely causing it. So I tried cantering through those areas of the ring, but we weren't able to really fix it. We changed tactics and did some cantering on a circle and then just dropped it. But... More on this shortly... haha.

So, today. I got up REALLY early, and was feeling a bit stiff, so I pulled up the Dressage Rider Training youtube account, and went through a whole BUNCH of hip and leg and lower back stretches. Well, that was... interesting. I really really really really should stretch more than I normally do, which is never, because I found some very tight places, and very asymmetrical flexibility. Also wow, downward dog has never been something I've been good at, but it HURT to try it today. Yuck. So, more stretching in my days from now on... Anyhow...

I felt WAY better in today's ride. Her canter was better, my canter was WAY better. I remembered to actually use my body the correct way -- funny how that helps. :S I think the previcox is starting to help her loosen up into it more, which is great. Her canter to the right felt lovely and we were able to maintain it for a couple of laps. Light in the hands, too, which is great! Awesome!! To the left though -- and she wasn't even tired yet like she had been on Friday, and actually felt quite good and light -- she IMMEDIATELY went into the lead swaps in the EXACT same places in the ring. I experimented: tried completely changing what I was doing through those sections, including going on a loose rein, to make SURE I wasn't causing them. I wasn't!! Well, not by my position today, anyhow. But she is a SMART SMART horse. What I had inadvertently done, by bringing her back from canter, was to reinforce for her the idea that swapping leads in those places meant getting a break from cantering. *facepalm* So... I had to fix it a different way.

So today, I would ride her through a "good" section, then suddenly circle her off the rail right before we got to the lead-swap place. Did this a few times. Then did it right at the lead-swap place a couple of times. Then a little ways past it. Once we had that fixed, I rode her twice through the whole section, thinking veeeery slight shoulder-in to have her still anticipating a circle. We haven't practiced canter shoulder-in in over a year, so our steering was garbage, but SHE CANTERED THROUGH, on ONE LEAD!!! Yaaaaay!!!

After that I finally, for the first time since we moved up there in December, did a bunch of no stirrups work. Just some rising trot, until I started to feel tired enough to want to sit the trot. (This is one of my favourite "hacks" for getting myself to relax into a sitting trot: just post it without stirrups until sitting it feels like a relief!!) I did a couple of serpentines where I posted on the turns and sat on the straight portions. And then we did some sitting trot, no stirrups, on the rail. She LOVES this and always gets REALLY into it, and so it's good practice for me because WOW do I ever have to try to sit to a BIG trot!! It's hard not to have some amount of bounce in my seat bones during this, but I do pretty well. I thought it went great today, really, given that it was my first time since October! Felt nice and secure -- and fun!

We then cooled out in walk, but added some leg yielding, which was a bit grumbly about, but obliged. 

Oh, and I had cleaned my tall boots the night before, and put some grippy conditioner (Oakwood) on the parts of the calves that touch the saddle, which is what I used to do with my nice leather half chaps (may they rest in pieces). I had forgotten how much better that felt!!


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## SteadyOn

I rode again this morning, and my partner came out with me (as we were on our way to a business meeting later in the day that happened to be very close to the barn). He shot a bit of video during our ride.

(Un)fortunately, if pictures are a thousand words, then video is about eleventy bazillion. Elle and I lacked impulsion in pretty much everything, and our canter was so pathetic you'd think we were both dying. We looked like unintentional peanut-rollers. SO. Even though her canter has felt kind of rough lately, we HAVE TO add some speed and I'll just have to deal with her excessive head-bobbing as best I can.

On that last sentence: when she isn't using herself well, she REALLY bobs her head and pitches down in front on every stride. While I _should_ be capable of having a following hand, as I have no problem keeping my seat upright on the down portion of canter, her neck is SO LONG that I just don't have the reach and it's nearly impossible not to get pulled when she dives. If I use a longer rein, it'll go slack-tight-slack-tight. So it's kind of lose-lose. I think, based on the video, I need to make sure I don't get too far forward on the part of the stride when her front end lifts, and that I REALLY bring my elbows back rather than taking too much of the motion with my upper body. As she gets fitter this WILL improve, but she won't get fitter in canter if we never canter. Ugh.

I also should probably actually use the bungee reins that my coach left for me. About ten minutes with them at the beginning of a ride helps keep her a bit more honest about roundness and contact. Which certain makes it an easier time for me!


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## SteadyOn

In today's ride, I tried to keep last week's video in mind and change a couple of things that I didn't like. I asked for more forward from Elle (with, uh, mixed results). Mostly today was about improving the left lead canter.

So, I figured I could some things right, but not all of the things. After a few unasked-for lead swaps, AGAIN, in the exact same places as the last two rides, I had to troubleshoot that to avoid reinforcing them further. 

Things that helped:
-More inside leg to outside hand
-Opening my inside rein
-Completely giving up on being on the rail and intentionally cutting the turns so she'd anticipate staying on that bend
-Making her continue to canter a few strides on the incorrect lead because, hey, it's just harder that way anyhow
-Taking a long break to do some really big, stretchy trot before trying again
-And finally, figure eights in collected canter with halt transitions at X

But I never did get all the way around on the rail on that lead. I'm not convinced that it's fixed enough for it not to happen again in that context. I have a lesson on Wednesday morning, so I guess I'll find out then.

Her collected canter actually felt quite nice both ways today. Not the choppy, pogo-sticky canter she was doing before we put her back on some low dose previcox. So that was very nice! Means this lead swapping thing is probably a mental thing for her right now (which is what I figured), especially since it's always in the same two places.

I also worked on not overdoing the rock in my upper body in canter. I was mostly successful, until I got frustrated. Oh well, baby steps.


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## SteadyOn

I've been a bit delinquent about updating due to life/work pressures, but I've had three rides since my last update!

One was a lesson with my coach (Elle's owner), and we worked on figuring out why she keeps switching leads on me when we're going to the left. Part of it is her general preference for a right lead -- she'll swap much more easily left-to-right when asking for a lead change, and generally feels better going to the right -- and part of it was obvious in the previously-mentioned video. We're just going SO SLOW that she isn't using her back end well, and starts going with her two back legs too close together... and the lead change happens because it's just so easy for her to fall into it.

Well, the answer to that in the lesson was SPEEEEEED. 

And if you've been reading my journal, you'll know that I have absolutely no "need for speed" in my constitution as a rider, so that was... interesting. The only horse I have ever galloped on was my old Quarab, whom I trusted completely because she was -- truly -- bombproof, but also quite small and very smooth. All other gallops have been... unintentional. My first fall was from a bolt, and the first horse I owned was very volatile and unpredictable, and bolted with me on a few occasions (which frequently led to falls). So I have a history with speed and I'm not super comfortable.

Aaaaanyhow, my coach had us do a MUCH faster canter. Not a gallop, and, not even a faster canter than I had previously done on Elle. But a combination of me coming back from my weird inflammatory flare-up and still feeling a bit weak, and Elle being out of shape and kind of rough in canter, meant it was not a pretty picture. Also the current arena is very small, so a medium canter FEELS fast. At any given time, I could manage only one of the following:

-go fast
-steer
-remain seated

And at one point I yelled to my coach, "I feel like I'm waterskiing!" And my seat was bad. And my contact was bad. 

She very nicely put it to me that I am someone who can only make one change at a time, and that the change I needed to make was "faster" and that it was okay if everything else went more or less out the window until we established that.

Anyhow, we DID go faster, our steering was terrible, but I did stay on. And she didn't swap leads at ALL!

On my next ride, I will sheepishly admit that I didn't really try for more speed. Also, I was deeply nervous because I could see a HUGE swath of snow on the roof that looked like it was going to avalanche down at any moment. While absolutely nothing happened, it did affect how confident I felt in my ride. 

Well, then I didn't ride for a week, as I was away. But last night I went out again, and upon reflection, I was pretty annoyed at how nervous I had been on the previous ride, and vowed to myself that I would trust both Elle and myself more than I have been, lately. And... everything was better. I rode past the "spooky" end of the arena without too much worry. And while she DID sort of veer off course there a couple of times in very mild spooking behaviour, it was completely fine and I didn't let it get to me too much. And my canter seat felt WAY better! I didn't get her up to the speeds we hit during the lesson, but I did get some slightly faster, better canter out of her without feeling like I was falling apart. When she did do unasked for lead changes, I didn't reinforce them by dropping her back to trot, but instead made "the wrong thing hard" and immediately turned her into counter-canter circles. At one point I even got her to switch back! Yay!

And the best thing? I had my canter seat back and it felt GOOD!! And my reins weren't going slack-tight-slack-tight like they had been. Sometimes I find I come back better after a short break. Not sure why, but I'll take it!


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## SteadyOn

Last night's ride went really well. I really drilled her on the left lead canter, which actually made her a bit mad by the end of the ride. But... sorry Elle! No pain, no gain!

I wish we could tell horses that we're pushing them for fitness for their own good, the way that a personal trainer can motivate and push us. However, we can't, so they must just think we're being jerks. Still, other than a couple of head tosses and unasked-for lateral moves, she always does what I ask, in the end. More or less, hahaha.

It's amazing how quickly canter work can make a ride feel LONG. I felt like we had done a LOT in our ride, then checked the time and realized I had only been up there 20 minutes! Oh boy!! So we did some trot and walk work for a break before starting into it again.

Her right lead canter feels fantastic. No complaints there. It's still a bit slow but that's largely my doing. I'm still too chicken, and too unsure, to push her out more at this point. I'd rather get my seat reestablished before going for speed -- which I know isn't what my coach is after. But I think there's compromise to be had. I'll start adding in SOME faster canter -- and I did a wee bit faster last night -- to test myself.

Her left lead canter is improving, but is still divey and very much on the forehand. The deep footing in this particular arena isn't helping, I don't think. She gets bogged down a bit. Buuuut, as she has no problems with it to the right, we just need to push through. There's definite improvement already, so it's the right call.

My canter seat is definitely coming back. Actually, it's funny: going to the right used to be my difficult direction. I could sit smoothly to the left, but could not get rid of some bounce while going right. But that definitely swapped at some point. Her good side changes too. In the fall, her left lead canter was smooth and easy, but her right lead canter was strung out and rough. I'm sure the stiffness from my inflammatory pain flare didn't help matters either.

One thing I'm trying to work in is getting the excessive rocking out of my upper body in canter. So last night I thought about keeping the front of my body as long as possible during the canter. I think sometimes riders worry too much about getting behind the motion, but it's actually really hard to lean back TOO much, even if you try! Thinking of keeping the front of my body tall and long helped especially when she was dropping a lot in front on her bad direction. Sometimes you just need to site like a Weeble up there. No matter what the horse's body is doing underneath you, you just stay tall and go with it. It also eradicated the physical response to want to two-point, and/or to brace and stand in my stirrups as a lazy way out. Which is HUGE for me, because I'm always fighting that instinct to get back into a hunt seat!!

Oh, and she only did ONE lead swap on me!!! I immediately turned her off the rail into a sharp counter-canter circle before bring her into a trot and asking again. So, making those unasked-for changes uncomfortable seems to be helping. I'm also asking for more speed through those sections, and being a bit "flappy" with my legs and the whip to ask for more speed and to also distract/mildly confuse so that she doesn't have her mind set on the swap. Seems to be helping!

Other than one tiny flinch at the "spooky" end, she didn't react to anything negatively last night. Still, there was a LOT of snow on the roof, and at one point I heard some kind of big creak-and-pop sound from up there. So I decided not to do any no-stirrups work. Still, it was a very productive ride.

One thing I'd like to do is get my spurs back on for a couple of rides, as she's ignoring my aids to get her off my left leg. However, I've been riding in my nice tall boots lately, which are still in perfect condition, and I don't want to mark them up from the spurs and spur straps.  Maybe I'll switch back to my paddock boots and the half chaps that I don't like, just for a few rides. Ugh.


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## SteadyOn

Just got back in from another ride. This time I did use spurs, and actually didn't mind my less-than-great half chaps. I think I was too delighted that she was actually listening -- somewhat, at least -- to my left leg.

She was being slightly jumpy about... nothing?... tonight. At one point I went to do a canter figure eight with a halt at X, and she spooked in place at the ground right as I was about to ask for the second canter transition. Bizarre. But nothing to really worry about. Horses... And hey, the big chunk of snow had slid down from the roof at some point today, so at least that wasn't hanging over us. Literally.

I need to use more right rein when we're going to the left, and stop trying to force an inside bend by holding her head in place with an open left rein. At the very end of the ride, I did a little experiment. I know that, as a horse with extensive dressage training, she has been taught to turn from outside rein, but I had never just totally isolated. So, with a left leg at the girth, I could get her to turn practically on the spot, towards the left, with just pressure on the right rein. And vice versa. I CLEARLY do not need to pull her around to the left with my inside rein, as she will turn VERY nicely with NO inside rein. Hmmm!!! I think having the left spur to reinforce the body bend will be enough to help, and hopefully get that outside rein connection back in canter when I need it.

It's just so counter-intuitive at times, when every person is initially taught, the first time they ever sit on a horse, that to go left, you pull on the left rein, etc. The first time my coach told me to use left rein to keep her from trying to run out on a circle to the right, I was like.... HUH???? And occasionally I need a wake-up call that it does, in fact, work. At least for Elle!

My ride was pretty similar otherwise to last night's ride. I did try to keep a stronger contact and a shorter rein tonight, as she's been going strung out and I've been letting her. Part of getting her to take things a bit more seriously, and use herself better, is expecting her to keep herself together and engaged. I need to stop being TOO nice about it all! 

Edited to add: these are the spurs I have. I bought them about two years ago, when I hadn't used spurs in... 20 years??? and wanted something entry-level. A big round ball so that I wouldn't accidentally jab, and a fairly long neck so that I didn't feel like I had to contort myself to apply them. Basically idiot-proof gentle spurs. But they are at least more effective than just leg! 
https://picovs.ca/collections/engli...terford-english-spur-1?variant=20678213206129


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## SteadyOn

Oh, poor Elle! I wasn't supposed to ride her again until Friday, but the schedule got switched up with the other part boarder, so I rode tonight again. Third night in a row.

Now, please keep in mind that my rides are typically only half an hour right now, including warm up and cool down. I pack a fair bit into there, but they're not super long, sweaty endeavours or anything. I just try to push her enough to try to condition her a little more each time.

However, Elle was clearly NOT having it tonight. When I got there, she was happily munching hay in her stall. The second I put the saddle on her, she turned towards the back corner of her stall and sulked until I was ready to take her out for her ride. Normally she keeps eating hay right until it's time to bridle -- so I don't usually tie her to get her ready -- and is eager to get out the door as I'm trying to bridle. But tonight... nope, just sulked in the back corner.

She was actually fine once I was on, though. Just really pokey and tired. She did everything I asked, though she would NOT add any speed in the canter, and I actually WAS trying tonight! I did a few laps each direction of the (small!) arena, and left it at that. I then did most of the ride in walk and trot, to give her a bit of a break. Added in a small amount of leg yield and shoulder in to keep things interesting. She was willing in everything but... yeah, slow.

During our cool out walk I think she actually nodded off, because I had her on a completely loose rein, and at one point she drifted off the rail, her head dropped a bit lower, and then she suddenly went AHH!!! and did a fairly dramatic spook in place. I'm thinking it was the horsey equivalent of one of those full-body jerks that sometimes happens when you start to fall asleep.

After the ride, in her stall, she didn't hide in the corner, but still wouldn't eat her hay. I hung out with her for a while to make sure she was all right, and she finally did about five minutes straight of just yawning and chewing and letting out tension, and then finally started acting and eating like normal again.

I won't be riding her again until Monday, and the other part boarder just rides her lightly in mostly just walk and trot, so I'm sure she'll appreciate the break!! I made sure she got lots of cookies and neck scratches tonight.


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## SteadyOn

Today was a GREAT ride!

But first: the other night. I went out on Tuesday evening for a solo ride, and when I tacked Elle up, she responded to being saddled by planting her feet, standing rigidly, and curling her upper lip. Ugh, great, more stress tummy. The weather and humidity have been all over the place lately, and that does seem to set her off a bit. So, instead of my ride, I lunged her. Weeeell, I think this was wise, as she was cranky and reactive, and went around with her tongue sticking out, her ears partly back, and spooked at every possible stimulus. The lunge line! A shadow on the ground! Snow falling off the roof! Big spooks, too. Shies, bucks, bolts. Now, she's a very different horse on the line than under saddle, so this wouldn't have happened -- at least not to the same degree -- if I HAD ridden her, but I'm still glad I didn't, as I think it still would have been a tense ride for both of us.

Fast forward to this morning, and I had a lesson with my coach. I got there and she had already tacked up Elle, as she'd had time to kill, and Elle was in a totally relaxed and happy mood. A totally different creature from the other night!

And it was just... a perfect lesson! I was on my game, Elle was on her game. We did everything we were asked to do, and did it well. Not to say everything went flawlessly -- I mean, how boring would that be, haha -- but Elle and I were in sync and feeling fit and capable! No looking or spooking -- from either of us! Just powering through and getting the job done!

We started out with lots of walk, as it was VERY cold and we needed lots of warm-up time. Then trot work, including some large circles, and loop-backs, and collecting her up and then pushing her out. We then started an exercise where we would do a big loop-back (aka tear drop shape) off the wall and then start a canter when we returned to the wall, then circle, then continue along the wall, resume trotting and do another loop-back, etc. We nailed it and it felt GREAT, at least until Elle did a huge TRIP at one end and nearly face-planted. Of course, it was while my coach was facing the other way so to hear it just looked like we broke into trot and I had REALLY LONG reins for no reason while I cackled hysterically. Then, going back the other way, she did it AGAIN in the same place. *facepalm* Sooo that was my incentive to REALLY sit up and keep her together!!

Something has clicked with my canter seat recently, thank GOODNESS, and today was one of my best ever uses of it, I think. I've stopped all the leaning and pumping and overworking that was making things into a hot mess. What was happening before, was that Elle was getting disorganized and strung out, and I was doing too much to follow instead of providing structure with my seat and hands. Yes, a following seat and a following hand are important, but you don't need to follow your horse right off a cliff, in a manner of speaking. So, the last few rides, I've been sitting UP straight, setting my hands (not rigidly, but saying "this is the place you're working"), and making her do the rest of the work. And if she gets messy within that framework, then the answer is... wait for it... more leg! Over all, I'm doing less, and she has the support she needs, and we're both much happier that way!

We also actually did flying changes today for the first time in months! Intentional ones, no less!! She's always and absolute wizard at changing from left to right -- and that's the one she'll give me when I DON'T ask for it -- but is usually VERY sticky and rough going right to left. However, other than breaking to trot on our first try that way, we got them every time! They were slightly late, and she had a real lean in the left lead canter after the change, but... they happened! And without a fuss, too. I didn't feel like I had to THROW her onto that lead, not at all.

We also worked on leg yields. But first we worked on turning down the quarter line, then just going diagonally out to the wall on a STRAIGHT line. It was funny, because she WANTED to leg yield to the wall, but she wanted to do it without being asked, and to do it in a crooked, sloppy, rushed way. So I joked about having to ride an anti-leg-yield to keep her straight. Which was actually really neat. Then when we DID do the leg yield, it took an impressively light touch! So smooth and nice. It was just a few steps, but better a small amount of something great than trying to force it for a longer stretch and having it fall apart.

Other funny things today: it was SO cold that my coach took pity on me and traded gloves, as my fingers were going numb in my little lightweight ones. Also, we talked about me sitting up and back and deep, and not jamming my heels down. I joked that I was going to start a new discipline: hunter dressage!! Riding whole tests in two-point! (I rode hunter as a teen, and elements of it creep in a LOT -- though not in today's lesson!!)


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## SteadyOn

Four rides since my last update. Well, sort of. I haven't been having a great week.

Last Saturday, the weather was completely fine all day. I drove up to the barn (it's 40 minutes each way), stepped out of the vehicle, and a HUGE loud gusting windstorm started up. Just my luck. I decided to just forge on, as Elle isn't usually bothered, but it was SO loud and nasty out, and the indoor was noisy and scary. I rode for only about 5 minutes, maybe 10, and she kept flinching and sort-of-spooking, and it was only getting worse. So, I hopped off and lunged, and while she was mostly calm, she did a few BIG spooks, one of which almost ripped the line out of my hands. No good. I worked her pretty hard to see if she would settle into it. And she did... enough? So I got back on, but instead of spooking she was just very... rigid. Had the brakes on and was having none of it. I could feel that this could escalate quickly into a bad situation, so I just gave up and called it a night. I could have cried, I swear. I have not been having any luck with the weather. Of course, once she was put away and settled down for the night... the wind stopped.

On Monday I went out during the afternoon. She seems much happier and more into her work during the daylight hours, so it went generally better. Hoooowwwweeeeverrrr, the sun was melting the huge snow load on the roof, and chunks of it kept zipping down the sides. Elle did NOT care, so I rode on and tried to tune it out, myself. Did about 20 minutes or so, when a HUUUUUGE section of snow went crashing down and I almost leapt out of my skin. Elle? Didn't even flinch. GOOD. PONY. I was so grateful -- and didn't want to push my luck -- that I hopped off immediately and gave her huge pats and scratches. Talk about ending on a good note!

Thursday I went back out, and it was by far the best riding day this week. No crashing snow. No howling wind. Just an easy ride. I was able to work on transitions, and get a good canter workout in, without feeling distracted or concerned. I even finished with some no-stirrups trot for the first time in a few weeks! I definitely need to work on that more! I felt fine to the left, but I was a little bit weak and off balance to the right. So I'm still affected by the loss of fitness from that pain flare. Although, not as badly as I could have been, so I'm grateful. I'm pretty confident that I will bounce back fully with time, provided it doesn't decide to come back again.

Yesterday I rode again during the afternoon, but it was windy and noisy. Also, I accidentally left a little gap open by the door at the end of the arena, and the bright sunlight was making Elle looky. The rails in the arena door were slamming and banging, the roof was creaking, snow and sleet were blowing against the sides. Snowmobiles were whining and zipping along the road nearby. It just wasn't relaxing for either of us. Elle veered slightly once while we were trotting, and dropped back to walk, but didn't really DO anything otherwise. Still...... I just never really settled. It was only a 25 minute, and a whole lot of it was walk. I had too much tension in my lower legs, and could feel them working way too hard doing... something? I think my coach would have given me a hard time for being a wimp when Elle was, really, FINE, but I can't help my anxiety while riding alone in a situation with the potential for a bad reaction. A slim potential, but still.

I cannot WAIT for this stupid winter to be over, and for the option to ride outside again. I'm grateful to have an indoor to ride in, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss the one we were using the last two winters. Snow didn't crash off the roof. It had heat, and nice bright lights, and the walls were solid and the trees sheltered the whole thing from the wind. It was also only a 15 minute drive from my house. But it was dependent on us running it as a co-op, whereas this arrangement is full care, so I'm still putting in a lot less time, even with the lengthy drive. But I AM paying for it, whereas I was working it off the last two winters. Still, I think, on the whole, it's better. But. Man, that other arena was niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!!!


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## whisperbaby22

The winds I get here come off the desert, and they sometimes seem to know what I am doing. They start and stop, tumble and twirl, the humidity is so low that I am constantly getting zapped. I have to be careful putting on my horse's fly mask to keep the wind out of his eyes, that I do not accidentally zapp him.


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## SteadyOn

whisperbaby22 said:


> The winds I get here come off the desert, and they sometimes seem to know what I am doing. They start and stop, tumble and twirl, the humidity is so low that I am constantly getting zapped. I have to be careful putting on my horse's fly mask to keep the wind out of his eyes, that I do not accidentally zapp him.


I don't have the static problem with the horses, but I am constantly zapping my cats in the winter! The heating in the house really dries things out, even with a humidifier running.


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## SteadyOn

I've been trying to avoid riding in the evenings, as Elle seems happier and more relaxed during the day, but due to how my day went yesterday, I had no choice.

It actually wasn't a bad night at all! Relatively mild. NO wind! NO snow on the roof! Awesome! There was quite a bit of noise in the ring from highway traffic, but that doesn't seem to upset them much unless it's something really odd. So, we were all set for success.

Except... I couldn't get out of my own head. And Elle was still being very looky about the "spooky" end of the ring, despite there not being anything TO really look at. She wanted to kind of contort herself a bit, and lose forwardness, going by that end.

I dealt with it by cutting that end off a bit early for the first third or so of the ride, and gradually riding her further into it as she relaxed a bit more. But... she wasn't DOING anything other than perking her ears and hesitating ever so slightly, so why couldn't I just be brave and ride through it??? I think there's a happy medium to be found, where you're not forcing a horse into a scary place where they might go but then explode and lose the plot... but you're also not caving to every little whim of theirs and letting them call the shots about it. I might be inadvertently making her MORE concerned about that end by my own behaviour. Ugh. I know my coach, in my position, wouldn't think twice about it and would just ride her through it. But she is braver than I, and has a much better seat and... well, better everything!

Anyhow, I was tense, and I was annoyed with myself for being tense, because there was nothing TO spook at, and she isn't a spooky horse. Her spooks are very rarely bigger than a slight swerve, or a little startle (usually in place), so they're not exactly high-risk for a fall.

The only thing she really "did" last night was decide that she didn't want to canter in a circle that pointed her towards the spooky door. There are a couple of white bags there, filled with wood chips, that we place against the door to keep the wind from rattling it. She has ridden past that door and those bags hundreds of times now. Yet, for some reason, trying to canter in a circle off the wall that pointed her at those bags got a "HECK NO!" from her. She either wanted to take the circle too early, or stay cantering up the wall and not turn towards them. I thought maybe I had somehow miscommunicated the turn, but after three or four tries with the same result, I went "ugh" and first walked that same curve a few times (no reaction), then trotted it a few times (no reaction), then cantered it again (SAME reaction!! Really??), then went back to trotting it again. Then cantered a couple circles a little farther away from that end. Then tried the troublesome canter circle again and GOT it!! I immediately brought her back to a walk on a loose rein and praised her like crazy.

However. I'm worried though that I'm being too indulgent, and might be spoiling her a bit. My coach, I think, would have just made her do it. Or, if she had scooted up the wall like she did with me, she would have pushed her on and made her work harder around that corner instead of pulling her back and "resetting" the situation. I'm not that brave, though, and I'm up there riding alone so I do want to take a safety minded approach. I hope my approach is still productive.

I cantered her the other way with no issues. And when we went back to that circle to the right again, other than her wanting to break to trot in that spot (which I fixed by riding more assertively), she was fine.

Her canter was quite forward last night, with lots of jump to it. This is good, but because I was tense, it meant my canter seat kind of sucked. I was semi-hovering, and getting butt-slapped by the saddle a bit when I tried to sit deep, so I just stayed in a bit of a light seat instead to stay out of her way. I did try to see if, having the forward canter, I could sit and collect her up a bit, and it worked so-so to the left, but not so much to the right. I think by then I was just tired though. I had been on a very long, hilly walk that afternoon, and I was feeling it. Plus the tension from being nervous does tire one out more quickly.

At the end of the ride I dismounted near the "scary" door, then led her over to the bags and gave her lots of scratches there and let her relax. She was so "concerned" about the bags that she stuck her nose right into one of them to see if they had any food in there. Sigh.

I think I'm overdue for a lesson, so my coach can kick my butt into being a little more brave!!!


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## SteadyOn

Ahhhhh, better.

Today had a lot of things going for it: I went out in the morning, and Elle is definitely a morning horse. There was very little wind. There was no snow -- either blowing or falling off the roof. The footing is getting more and more packed down, too, which is good as it was all fresh sand in the late fall and took a while to settle.

Also, I was annoyed at myself for not being more assertive on my previous ride, so I went into this one with an "I can handle myself" attitude -- and almost believed it, too!!  

I did a few walk laps each direction, at first avoiding the "spooky" end on the first two passes each direction, and then making her walk through there, and then circling at a walk up in that end, over and over, to get her moving calmly through that area. The big sliding door was rattling and banging occasionally, but that doesn't seem to be what "gets" her. I actually have no idea what IT is. I'm not sure she knows, either!!

And then... I just rode. I used the whole ring. I walked, trotted, and cantered her through the scary end, right up on the track. No cheating, no turning early. And yes, she was a bit looky. And yes, her ears were perked forward going through that part. But... my attitude was "We both need to suck it up and GO!" and... it worked. The only negative reaction she actually gave was to veer very slightly away from the door, and used that as an excuse to drop from canter to trot. But it was nothing alarming. Just annoying!

She was a bit hesitant in that same spot on a canter circle -- the one where she didn't want to steer towards the white bags -- but other than dropping to trot the first time I tried to canter through that section, she was fine and listened to me. I just used extra leg, and I wasn't afraid to give her a tap with the whip today when she needed it.

I've been really stressed out this week, and I tend to carry that tension in my body. So.... my canter seat was still pretty lousy. But I pushed on and just tried not to interfere. I did manage *some* nice seated canter both ways, but it was only like 10% of the time. Bleahh. She wasn't giving me the easiest canter, either, though. It's interesting: she doesn't LOOK like she has a challenging canter, but there's a definite "thump" to it that's hard to sit to unless she's very slow and collected. When her back end lifts, it's like a pogo stick, and it's a very hard motion to follow perfectly. It's very easy to get bounced. When I canter other horses now, 80% of the time I'm blown away by how SMOOTH they are in comparison. So I do know it's not ALL me.

Things I noticed in myself today: my right stirrup kept sliding home, so I think I was holding tension in that leg and lifting it a bit. It also wanted to slide forward during left lead canter (which is a problem I have off and on, especially when I'm out of practice). I need to stop opening my left rein. I need to open my right rein MORE. I think I'm leaning forward too much, or something, in rising trot, as it's straining my lower back in a way that's unusual for me. I was also pumping my upper body too much in canter, and couldn't seem to fix it this time despite being aware of it. Also, I should consider shortening my stirrups a hole, although the thigh blocks on this saddle are crazy and if I put much more bend in my leg, I'll be knocking into them. Hmm.


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## SteadyOn

I was braver again tonight -- though it helped that there was minimal wind, minimal snow, no avalanches from the roof, and really, nothing particular to take issue with, for human or equine. There was a VERY large tractor parked in one end of the ring that isn't normally there, but that sort of thing never makes Elle bat an eye, so it hardly counted.

We didn't work on anything really particular. It was very cold, so we did a LOT of walk to warm up. I did NOT avoid the "scary" end at all, not even on the first few laps -- though she seemed less concerned with it herself tonight, too.

After warming up in walk and trot, I did some circles of canter with her. And she still pulled that thing where she didn't want to turn towards the white bags when I circled her off the wall in that one place. Tonight it wasn't spooking; it was her remembering that she was doing that last time and getting away with it. So after accidentally allowing it to happen once, I got after her and made her canter through that portion of the circle and go where *I* wanted to.

But. I did notice a tendency with her, the whole ride, to want to avoid the scary end but, more importantly, pull us towards the end where the door back into the barn is. Well, that's a pet peeve of mine, so the rest of the ride was dedicated to working on that. So, on the last third of the ride, every time we went around that end, we cantered. Or trotted small circles. Or I just got noisy with my legs and reins. As soon as we were leaving that end, we'd go to a walk on a loose rein until we came around to it again.

I didn't get it resolved to the place I want to, but it was a start. And she did relax a bit more going around the "bad" end, which is part of what I wanted. So, I'll just keep working on that destination addiction for the barn for a bit every ride, for a while, and see how it goes. Should improve though!

My seat felt pretty good tonight. Had my good and bad moments, but other than my usual habits that I'm still fighting, nothing negative really stood out. My canter seat was definitely better than it was earlier in the week, though I did catch myself bracing here and there. My right leg still wanted to creep forward, but I was mostly being aware of it, and I know it will resolve again with time.


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## SteadyOn

I had a lesson yesterday, and it was really good! It was my first one in a couple of weeks, which is just how my schedule and finances have been playing out. (Hoping to get back to a weekly schedule when my seasonal income increases again.)

I was a lot more assertive this ride. Not harsh at ALL, but just... insisted a bit more. And the results were great!

I've been so afraid of Elle suddenly spooking -- for NO real reason, mind you -- that I've been a real pushover in how I've been riding her. It's weird. I think because she's normally so easygoing about things, I have it in my head that if she *does* spook at something, it's going to be BIG. Despite the fact that things have never, ever played out that way with her. Her worst spook, to date, was that volleyball incident, and while it was a bit histrionic, I didn't budge in the saddle. So.... whaaaat is up with my brain? I think on a horse where I'm accustomed to them being looky and resistant about things, I'm more likely to push. But because Elle is normally so easy, it feels like a BIG DEAL when she does get a little funny about something.

Anyhow, I'm kind of done with that. With her and with myself. I think it's good to be sensitive to your horse's feelings and concerns, but there's such thing as taking that too far.

So. In the lesson, we did NOT avoid the "spooky" end of the ring. At all. And when she got a bit sticky about going there, I just rode her on towards it and insisted. And?? It was FINE. We were fine. And I felt so much better.

There were a couple of times she did the tiniest little swerve in response to going near/by that end, but it was very very sittable, so I didn't let it get to me. She didn't do her weird thing about coming off that wall in canter, either, because I preempted it by being firm with my outside aids on the turn, and used lots of leg.

Our circles were pretty lumpy and crooked to start, because she was wanting to push one way at one part of the ring, and drift a different way at another part. After a few tries I figured out when and where to use my inside and outside aids to nudge her into something that was more or less round.

At one point my coach called out an impromptu dressage "test," complete with halt and salute. Mostly we did what we were supposed to do. Our one big fail, in which we went right off course, was in one of the spots where she likes to throw in an unasked-for lead change. I got so focused on keeping her forward when she tried to go crooked and make the change, that I didn't straighten her out and we turned right off the wall instead of going up the long side. Ooooops. I think if I had to choose, it was more important to move her forward and prevent the lead change, but anyhow, we wound up doing an extra half lap of the ring!! On the plus side though, we went the entire lesson without her doing any unplanned lead changes!!

We also did some leg yield work, starting down the centre line, then moving diagonally toward the wall before asking her quarters to move over into the leg yield. She was GREAT! A really nice, light touch was all it took.

All the transitions and lateral work, etc., unlocked a FANTASTIC trot from her that I haven't had in a long long time. She was really powering along, using herself, naturally on the vertical, and truly in front of my leg. AWESOME!!! She normally only manages this when she's quite fit and feeling good, so it was excellent to see it starting to come back!! Lately she's been a bit of a plodder, just kind of going through the motions instead of putting that extra effort in, so it so nice to awaken her inner dressage star!!

My coach was really really happy with my riding, and so was I!! She even said that my leg position was looking perfect at certain points, which is awesome, as I've always struggled with getting my lower leg back far enough. I guess it's finally going where it's supposed to be! I've been leaning too far forward in my rising trot lately, which I've been aware of as I can feel my lower back straining while I ride, in a way that it shouldn't. However. I can fix it! Just need more core. When I did focus on using my core more and staying more upright in my rising, I got a better trot from Elle, too! So there's my reminder. I also need more inside leg, generally, and less inside rein. Like most riders. 

I didn't ride perfectly. And Elle didn't go perfectly. But how often does that ever happen?? All in all, GOOD ride, and I'm feeling much braver and more confident!


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## SteadyOn

Me generally: chronically too concerned about spooks, riding a horse who almost never spooks.
Me this past week: I'm so over this! What have I been worried about??? She's not going to spook.
Horse today: Massive spook at ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

It was a really nice day. Snow was sliding off the roof a bit, but nothing too loud or crazy. She was totally unconcerned. Very little wind. Not much noise from the world. Nice and bright out. Indoor ring was light and pretty warm and quite pleasant.

We were about half way in to the ride, doing a serpentine at a trot, when we rounded the middle turn and suddenly...
SQUAT-SHY-HALF SPIN in one big motion.

I'm happy to report that I sat it fine, but it's the exact thing I'm always worried WILL happen. Buuuut that has next to no history of actually happening with me and this horse. Sigh. I may have sworn a blue streak, more out of disbelief than anything else, but I regrouped, kept riding, and faced that same spot over and over again until we were both less concerned about it. The only concession I made was that I didn't do any canter after that at the "spooky" end. Not the the problem was right at that end. Or in canter. But... I think she reacted to turning sharply and being faced with a bright gap of sunlight that comes in between some boards beside the "spooky" door. The sudden strip of sun in her eyes was apparently HORRIFYING when she didn't have the whole long side to approach and prepare for it.

So I asked the barn owner if we can block that gap in the boards. :/ Not that I can't be brave, but I'd rather not have my life flash before my eyes every time I try to turn sharply towards that spot on a sunny day.

Other than that, pretty standard ride. What can I say?? Horses......

Spooks like that can have two effects, I find. They can knock your confidence because it's a reminder that big dumb sudden things CAN happen for no reason, and you could be hurt at any time. But it's also evidence that, hey, my seat has gotten pretty darn good, and I can sit some things I might not have sat through before! (Although a spin is still much easier to sit than a sudden sideways leap! You're at least going with the horse somewhat, instead of being left hanging in the air!!) So in that sense it's reassuring. Somewhat!


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## SteadyOn

Buh. Lousy ride last night.

There was NOTHING happening that should have made Elle act funny. No wind. No snow sliding off the roof. No light leaking in by the door. No snowmobiles ripping around. She was completely relaxed when I led her out to the ring to ride her. I spent time in the area where she had spooked on the previous ride, hand-walking here towards it from every conceivable direction. Letting her stand there and look if she wanted to look. She did NOT CARE. Still totally relaxed. I thought, great!

And for the first fifteen minutes of the ride, she was pretty indifferent about it as well. Now, she always gets a BIT concerned about that end. Which manifests as ears perked forward, head a little higher, but that's about all. It was all going just fine through walk and trot.

But once we started in to canter work, she was doing her thing where she didn't want to come off the wall in spot where she had to face that area. Even though we had just walked and trotted through there like 20 times with no problem. She starting using it as a chance to break back to trot and completely lose her steering. If I was able to push here through, she'd try to duck away from the "spooky" spot (despite not caring up to that point). She seems to be developing habits in canter that relate to specific areas in the ring. And oh boy, does she REMEMBER which spots. It's like the lead change problem: while I can mostly prevent it now, she remembers exactly which places in the arena she was doing those, so she tries there every single time now. So... even though she isn't spooking at those spots, she's behaving LIKE she's spooking, because it got her out of cantering through and steering in those sections. Aaaauughh!!

And then it seemed that, because she was thinking about having previously spooked there, she worked herself up to wanting to ACTUALLY spook there. And then even trying to trot her through that section, I could feel her start to put on the brakes, and her front legs would tremble like she was about to do another duck and spin. She had herself all worked up. And I swear, I SWEAR I was treating that spot as normally as possible up to that point in the ride, because I really wasn't expecting her to do anything. This wasn't my lack of confidence or my own hesitation making her want to spook; it was all whatever was going on up in her old noggin.

I did my best to push through and finish my ride. I just kept all my work, especially the canter work for now to the "safe" end of the ring because I knew I could call all the shots there. And I kept her on a firm contact and really focused on inside bend so that she didn't have as much leeway to pull anything funny. And I was MAD. Ugh.

As soon as I got off of her, she was completely relaxed. Just standing totally still with her head low and her eyes soft, like she had not just been a total butt the whole ride and was really pleased with herself. I texted my coach and asked if she can pretty please come up and do a tune-up ride on her. My confidence is getting a lot better, but I still don't have it in me right now to have the kind of fights that I think this might escalate to before it improves.


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## whisperbaby22

Yea, I think she is trying to get out of work. A tuneup is in order. I think this should straighten her out.


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## SteadyOn

I don't think my coach has been up yet for the tune-up ride. And Elle is still being a bit of a twit. I hand-walked her through that "spooky" multiple times, from every conceivable angle, and she didn't seem even remotely concerned. Aaaaand then she spooked twice with me there under saddle. They were tiny spooks, relatively, but still... whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? It was coming at it from two different directions, near the beginning of the ride. One was a little squirt forward. The other was a hesitation and that little front-leg tremble that sometimes precedes something bigger. Ugh.

My idea for today was to just work her a LOT at the easy end of the ring, and then walk her on a relaxed, soft contact through the "concerning" part of the ring so she'd find it more appealing. It mostly went fine, except... there was a tractor parked in a part of the area where I needed to work. I could mostly just avoid it, but when I tried to canter a circle to the right, near the end of the ride, I couldn't be as close to that end as I wanted to be where I needed to turn off the wall, so she had the opportunity to be looky and lose her forwardness and steering when we tried to get around by the tractor, and she was forced to "confront" the far end of the ring. You know, by LOOKING at it. I first lost her in the canter, and then she was just reeeeeal stupid about it in the trot. I focused on at least getting decent forward trot circles, with bend, and pushing her out that direction with my inside leg, so that I was ending the ride on getting something my way. Maybe I need to just not canter for a bit, until she's over this crummy phase. Or maybe I really DO need to canter so that we work through it. Ahhh, we'll see.

I can't wait for the snow to go away so we can just ride outside. She isn't like this at all outdoors. Ahhhh well. It's a... challenge?? I guess? A stupid, frustrating, annoying challenge? She's always been so push-button for me, I've been spoiled. Maybe this looks good on me. :/

In brighter news, when I walked in to the barn this morning, I could hear a high pitched whinny that didn't sound familiar, but didn't see any new faces. Well, after taking ten minutes or so to get my gear together, I went to hang my bridle on a hook across from Elle's stall... and saw this crazy little Muppet face staring up at me. A mini!!! The cutest little palomino pinto mini, with two crazy blue eyes, and a soft little nose. Eeeeeeeeeeee!!! I hadn't noticed him because he was too short to see over the side of the stall!!


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## SteadyOn

So this hasn't been the best week for me from a riding perspective... Had my kind of crummy ride the other day. Then yesterday was supposed to be one of my three ride days this week, but I just had too much on my plate to get out there. Then I was supposed to ride today, but it was WAAAAAAAAAY too windy. Waaaay too windy. I could feel the wind pushing against my car on my way there and back. And in the indoor arena, it sounded like the whole thing was about to become airborne. Uggghhhhh.

So I grabbed the lunge whip, and filled my pockets with apple treats, and took the old girl out to get her moving. She started off normally but, as I assumed was inevitable, had a few freakouts and started charging around. And got more and more worked up as the wind whipped and banged and rattled things. I was able to eventually direct it into a nice, forward, productive canter. And once she had started to let off steam and was getting her brain back, I would signal her to stop at the spooky end of the ring, and let her have a breather there. 

I will say, while it's not *desirable*, a snorty, high-headed, anxious and energized horse stopping to have a good blow is a very aesthetically appealing sight. Elle looked quite regal with her head up, neck arched, nostrils big, breath steaming. She did not like like a school horse pushing her mid 20s, but like a nice energetic sport horse in her prime. (And she does actually look GREAT for her age!)

It's also very cool to be able to direct a horse, even an anxious one, with no lunge line, and influence them just with the whip and with body language.

Once she'd gotten out most of her rabbits, I just stood with her and waited while she licked and chewed and let down a bit, up at that end. I gave her a little treat here and there, too. The wind REALLY picked up again and it really did sound like the whole place was going to come down! She startled a few times -- fair! -- but mostly just stayed up at that end near me, being very brave!

After that passed, I worked on bribing her into following me, with the treats. Then I worked on coaxing her into the spooky places with them. Now, she would have walked right over there if I had just been leading her, but having her loose and making it her decision to come over there was very telling. Even WITH the treats, she didn't want to. She would either just look at me and hesitate, or else crane her neck out towards them but not actually want to go into those areas. So... maybe I was being a bit unfair in saying that she was "putting on" her spookiness there. If she didn't want to approach me there for a COOKIE, with NO pressure to work, then she clearly is having a genuine issue about that spot.


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## SteadyOn

Would be nice to catch a break...

I rode yesterday. And it was a really nice day, very little wind. I went in the morning, when Elle seems to be at her best. Decided to lunge her first, up at the spooky end, to get any shenanigans out of the way before getting on. She didn't spook on the lunge at all, but she looked grumpy and started lolling her entire tongue out, which is just a thing she does sometimes. Doesn't necessarily mean anything on its own, but can be a bit of a flag that she's in a mood. I gave her a treat here and there during the lungeing, to see if it would improve her headspace at all.

Under saddle she was fine... until she spooked at absolutely nothing. Twice. They were much smaller spooks, and very sittable, but they happened at the not-spooky end of the ring??? I definitely didn't cause them, because I wasn't expecting them there! There was nothing to lead up to them or cause them. This behaviour is all so out of character for her. I'm wondering if she's feeling a bit off, tummy wise, or something.

I don't want to bug my coach/her owner about it right now though because it's not a BIG thing, but also, I know she's being affected at work by the COVID crisis and this seems like such a minor concern right now. I also don't know what she'd even do?? Sometimes Elle gets tummy troubles when the weather changes suddenly, and we've certainly had a big weather shift recently.

Meanwhile, I'm extremely concerned about my own financial situation. I have a retail business, and as we're nonessential retail technically, we maybe should be closing. But we can't afford to. And meanwhile no one is going out, and no one is spending money. Also my ankle pain has been flaring up again, a bit, and I'm extremely concerned that the weird arthritis flare I had in the fall could come back. Also, a major family vacation that we'd been planning on for over a year has just been cancelled. Aaaand I can't even have a relaxing ride to take my mind off of everything, because riding Elle right now is not relaxing.

Can SOMETHING go right? :/


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## whisperbaby22

Things are piling up for me too, right now. I'm lucky in that I can ride this out but lots of little issues, funny how that works out.


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## knightrider

Awww, @SteadyOn, after all those concerns, you certainly need to have a happy pleasant fun ride. I am so sorry. I hope things improve for you. ((((hugs))))


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## SteadyOn

Thanks, both of you!! I hate this uncertainty, but I'm putting on a brave face for the moment and pushing through as best I can. One day at a time.

If I had, hypothetically, ridden today, I know I WOULD have made it a mostly walk ride, and it would have been lovely and spook-free, and when we finally did some trotting, Elle would have gotten into a lovely, focused, working headspace that she hasn't been in for a couple of weeks, and it would have been a huge relief to see that change. Hypothetically. If it had happened. Would have been a nice note to end things on for now.

But only essential staff are allowed at barns right now, so my rides are only hypothetical at the moment and definitely not actually happening, and I'm going to refrain from updates about riding for a bit, obviously, as a result. Phooey. I hope all the restrictions are lifted soon.


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## SteadyOn

While I'm in "time out" due to COVID, I'm going to have a glass of wine and reflect a little. I started riding again, nearly five years ago now, after 16 years of not riding at all, except on occasional (very occasional) public trail rides. As a kid and teen I had owned horses, and ridden regularly. (Initially just general English riding basics, then hunter lessons.)

When I came back to riding in summer of 2015, I was completely out of riding shape (though arguably in better overall shape than I am now, as I was running regularly then). So weak, so crooked, so stiff and tight. I thought my biggest obstacle, then, was just getting my body back in shape for it. But as with anything with real depth and nuance, I really didn't know how much I didn't know.

So, some totally random things I know now that I didn't know then:

What the heck a baby pad is for, and how it stacks with half pads. Seriously, they weren't even a thing back in the day.
How to identify good muscling on a horse, vs. bad muscling from incorrect work
More than I did then about saddle fitting (though not as much as I'd like to)
What healthy hooves should look like
How to connect and steer with the outside rein
The difference between a horse that's strung out and horse that's using himself
What it feels like to have decent core muscles!
Some better basics of conformation
Alternatives in jumping styles
That a serpentine has half circles, not square turns
How to tell different breeds apart on sight (within reason)
Just how different hunt seat is from dressage!! ("SIT UP STRAIGHT!" "Get you BUTT in the SADDLE in CANTER!" etc)
That, yes, even Elle's thumpy canter is perfectly sittable despite my insistence that it must be impossible
That yes, it is actually possible to sit a big trot and that, yes, it took forever and is always a work in progress
How to identify and treat thrush
How to spot anxious behaviours and expressions in horses
How to see lameness and have half a clue where it's coming from, sometimes
How to train behaviours through pressure and release
Signs of tummy upset, colic, and ulcers that I never knew before. (You mean it's not just sweating and rolling?)
That ulcers are even a thing
That not all spooks are huge and that it's possible for me to sit a fairly big spook and not die
What, when, how, and how much to feed (more or less), and what supplements are worth it and which ones are a total waste of money (and that would be most of them)
Horse people love unproven gimmicky products and that it's best to just shut one's mouth and let them go on believing
Many horse people are great talkers and not-so-great listeners
Horses will always find a way to make you feel VERY humble, no matter how much you think you know
No matter how riding-fit you are, a good coach can make you feel pain for days
Horse people are almost universally totally unhinged, and it's a matter of finding ones that are compatible with your own kind of crazy
And that I'm not yet done having "YOUR LEFT SHOULDER!" yelled at me by every single coach in the land


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## SteadyOn

Well, when only essential staff are allowed at the barn, you get yourself hired on as essential staff. :thumbsup: The woman who owns the place is overwhelmed and taking extra shifts at work right now. So. Win-win. Problem solved! It's a SUPER quiet barn where you almost never see anyone else anyhow, so not a high-risk environment to help out. Phewwwwww!!

And I had a really nice ride yesterday. Lunged first, in bungee reins to keep Elle in "work brain," and had the most productive, totally normal ride I've had on her in a couple of weeks. I don't even know if the lunging was what did it -- she just seemed to be in a better mood. Wasn't girthy. Didn't kick or make faces during tack-up. Didn't get all stiff and distracted before I started working with her. (Recently, in trying to do lateral flexion before mounting, she would lock her neck up and REFUSE to soften to the bit. Not a great sign.)

I think something has genuinely been a bit off with her. Again, maybe the changes in weather were messing with her digestive system and causing some tummy upset. The spookiness and girthiness would both indicate that she was feeling less than great. Crossing all my fingers and toes that she stays relaxed, not-spooky, and more like her usual self, going forward.

Managed to do some canter work for the first time in a while, and have it all go normally instead of her veering off in her turns. No spooks!! Did a couple of flying changes which were *pretty* rough, but we haven't done them in a while. Also worked on some leg yield and shoulder-in in trot, though they were pretty sad because she was too tired to put any oomph into them by the time we tried them. I was just happy that she was being chill again. And to be riding again!!!! My body and my seat felt really good, actually! Yay!


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## SteadyOn

Great ride again today. Even though Elle had an inside day yesterday, while it poured rain, she was super relaxed and ready to work this morning. I hand walked her a bit to warm us both up, gradually, but abandoned my plan to lunge before riding and she seemed to be in a perfectly good headspace. She also wasn't at all concerned, or girthy, when I had tacked her up, which was another good indication that she's feeling better again.

Aside from her ears perking a little at the "scary" end of the arena, she had no negative reactions to anything at all today. Even the weird noises coming in from the nearby highway were of minimal concern. So we got some really good work done! I did a few laps of trot each direction, and worked in 20m trot circles at A, E, C, and B. Then I turned the circles into canter circles with trot between. Then kept the canter throughout. Then skipped the circles and cantered full laps both directions. She was being a bit of a push ride but not too badly at all. I had spurs on to remind her to pay attention, when needed.

She and I both need to work on our canter departs. I'm exaggeratedly learning forward and rocking my body to try to shove her into canter. Which is unnecessary, a bad habit, and silly. And she's not being as prompt as she should be, either. But it's honestly just a relief to be cantering sanely again!!

We also did some leg yield out to the wall from the quarter line and centre line. They were so-so. Need practice. After that I did a figure eight in canter, first with a halt at X, and then a flying change once each way. She was sticky on those, but at least we got them! Yay!

After that she trotted around in what I like to call her "locomotive" mode. She just GOES. Forward, straight, rounded, rhythmic, using herself, and requiring very little input. It's awesome and is usually the stage at which I like to work without stirrups because she'll just stay in autopilot... but I think I'll wait for a few more spookless rides before I start into that again!!

My body felt really good. I think I'm getting better about not leaning too far forward during my rising trot. At least, my back doesn't feel strained they way it was when I was doing that, so I can only assume it was better! Also my canter seat is feeling GREAT compared to where it was even six weeks ago. My butt was staying in the saddle, and even though Elle got heavy with me, and pulled against my hands, a few times today, I had the core strength to resist and to sit up and push her forward. And that felt awesome!!


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## SteadyOn

Good ride again today. Elle was almost TOO laid back, but I'll take that over her being spooky!! Took a lot of leg and a few taps of the whip today to get her to take me seriously and keep going, but she was generally very good. No spooks, not swerves. One barely-noticeable look on a circle. That was it!

Did some serpentines today with mixes of trot and canter in there. It's a small arena with deep, uneven footing so I can only do so much with canter, really. My canter seat continues to improve, though I could stand to be even more conscious of how my hands and arms are following. I also need to stop thrusting with my seat when I ask for the depart, because it's becoming a bad habit for both of us to depend on that. If she ignores my NORMAL canter aids, I need to tap her up, not try to SHOVE her into it. I do feel more in control of individual parts of my body while cantering now, which is great. When I first started back to riding, it took all my effort to canter and stay in canter. I couldn't have fixed this hand or that leg or... whatever... if you had paid me!!

Elle had a snotty nose, but she tends to get some seasonal allergies. I was stunned that she didn't cough at ALL during the ride. She tends to be a cougher. But not at this barn, so far. Which is nice, because she always coughs in canter and YANKS her head down suddenly when she does. It's been a nice break from that!

When I gave her her treats today, I worked on getting her to do a little lip wiggle to get them. I had this down with Diego, and it was hilarious. He would quickly wiggle his lips back and forth across my hand to ask for a treat. It doesn't come as naturally to Elle, but she's starting to get it. Anything for a cookie!

After that, I took the mini out for a walk around the property, as he looked bored. The geldings in their paddock were FASCINATED by him, and all ran around, stood at the fence, stared at him, snorted, and ran around some more. Apparently they had spotted an alien!! :O

He was a bit pushy/pully, but he hasn't been handled much, and at least he's tiny! He also enjoyed playing in the puddles. It was a GORGEOUS day and I didn't want to go home!! I hung out and petted the dogs in the sunshine, too.

Also, in exciting news... the snow is almost all gone from the outdoor arena, and it's in astonishingly great shape! Within the next couple of weeks, as long as the weather doesn't take a crazy turn, I should be able to ride outside again!!!!


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## SteadyOn

Blahhh. Videos are always a wake-up call. I filmed my ride (badly) by putting my phone on top of a hay bale, and while things felt pretty good, they looked a bit rough.

My back is hollow and stiff right now. 
I'm leaning too far forward, generally.
Way too much upper body rock in my canter.
Left shoulder is creeping up and forward, which it loves to do whenever someone isn't there to yell at me about it.
Too much inside lean in right lead canter.
The 10 lbs I put on this winter is definitely showing, and the extra junk in my trunk is making the hollow back look more exaggerated.
My leg yields and shoulder-in, which I know weren't very good today... well, weren't very good.

There was a lot to like though. I liked my hands, for the most part, and I looked stable and solid. Lower leg was decent, although my current crappy half chaps aren't doing me any favours. Elle was being pokey, but again, I'll take it over her being spooky right now. And you could see her go from very not-together, to using herself better and better over the course of the ride.

Over all, though... while a couple of weeks ago, Elle seemed like she needed a tune-up, I know that_* I *_now DEFINITELY do. Can't wait for lessons to be a reality again -- although I definitely WILL have to wait!


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## whisperbaby22

Look to the horse to see how well you ride. Sounds like you are doing just fine.


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## SteadyOn

Well, today was unexpected, and unexpectedly fun!!

Yesterday, after my ride, I was kicking around the barn a little, like you do, and got talking to one of the other boarders. She has a pony/QH cross who's turning four this year, and was professionally started last year. I hadn't interacted with him much, but he seemed like a very sweet horse.

His owner said to me, "Well, since you're done riding that one, want to ride this one?" And I laughed it off thinking she was joking... but she wasn't. She can't ride him as much as he needs, and the girl she had riding him for her hasn't been out since January. So he's just been sitting. His owner said not to be put off by his age, and that he's actually really easygoing and a little on the poky side.

Well..... today I came out and met with her, and I rode him! He's smaller than Elle, though definitely larger than a pony. Still, very different build and very different movement. Elle is also very wide and long. He's really neither! Just average-y sized, in a nice way. But, an adjustment!!

When we first led him out, she took him straight to the mounting block and he wouldn't hold still for me to get on. I thought this didn't bode well... and I hate trying to mount a moving target. I asked if I could walk him around a bit first and try again. So I did, for 5-10 minutes, while I chatted with her, and he was totally fine for me to get on, on the second try, after that.

And... he was lovely! Took us both a bit to settle in, and longer yet for us to find a contact and rein length we were both happy with, but he was really really good! You would never know that he's just turning four. Absolutely nothing phased him. Dogs, doors, his owner tapping her heels against the mounting block while she watched me ride. The "spooky" end of the arena wasn't a thing he cared about in the slightest. Just a very very good boy!!

I'm sure I didn't look my best riding him, haha, because I took my time finding my balance point on him and on the much smaller jumping saddle. He reminds me a bit of Bambi, the Pintabian I've ridden a fair bit, though not as... unique. I think I could get quite used to him! I was very pleasantly surprised. Not only is he green, but no one had ridden since January!! And other than being initially silly at the mounting block, he felt like a much more experienced horse. He even steers off of outside rein and outside leg, quite beautifully.

His owner says she'd like him to be ridden three times a week, and as long as either she or the barn owner is on premises, I can just feel free to get on him, and report back to her how it went. I don't know that I'll manage three rides a week on him, on top of my partboard of Elle, but better to have too many options than too few!!


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## SteadyOn

I rode Elle on Monday and Wednesday this week. They were nice rides, only about 20 minutes of work each. No spooks. A bit pokey but again, I'll take it over spooky. Not too much to say about them other than that! Just nice.

I did a bit of no stirrups work at the end of Monday's ride, for the first time in six weeks and only about the second or third time this winter/spring. Felt more balanced than the last time I tried, though I kept the trot so slow it was practically comatose, just in case.

And Wednesday, I did a canter figure eight with some simple changes, at first, then asked for flying changes and got most of them.

I also worked on mounting block training with the youngster, both days, which I've detailed in another thread. It's going well! He is VERY very food motivated!!!


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## SteadyOn

Friday was supposed to be one of my riding days on Elle, but it was extremely windy, and I was extremely busy with work. And very tired. Needless to say, I didn't get out there.

As her other part boarder was riding her on Saturday, I took advantage of having the four-year-old sweetheart of a horse available to me. I'll call him Parker. His owner came up too and watched me ride.

I've documented the whole mounting block retraining process with him in the "Mounting block wiggles and how to fix them" thread on here, but in short, the couple of sessions I had with him over this week made him a DREAM to get onto. He just stood there. He actually didn't want to LEAVE the mounting block!! Hahaha. But I'll take it!

https://www.horseforum.com/horse-training/mounting-block-wiggles-how-fix-them-813835/

I was much much more relaxed on him, and he seemed more relaxed with me. I did a lot of just walking around, and steering at the walk, before adding in trot. I didn't just stay on the rail, but instead did lots of circles, loop backs, serpentines, etc. I keep quite a loose, open rein, and very little contact. I used the reins now and then to ask him to get his head down and soften, with immediate release, but otherwise I tried to be as hands off with his face as I could. One of these times, I'll need to prop my phone up and film to see what he's actually doing with his head. It's hard to get a sense of where the right place is without a visual at all. Apparently he'll overbend though if you hold him too much. I'd rather err on the side of long reins and keep him soft and reaching.

It all went REALLY well! He was much much easier to steer this time, and kept a better and more consistent pace. He's more whoa than go, but not to a problematic extent. If you ask him to come down to walk from trot he'll stop instead if he can, so I have to find out how much ask is just enough for that. But that will come with time.

The whole ride was going so well that his owner asked if I wanted to try some canter with him. At first I said no, because I didn't know if he was ready, but he had been cantered under saddle consistently in training last year so it's not like it was a new concept. Once we were really jiving I decided to ask and.........

Yeah, just got laps and laps of SUPER FAST TROT. Tried changing directions. Same thing. Tried him on circles. Same thing. Tried him on the long side, heading back towards the gate. Same thing. And I wasn't riding as effectively as I could and should have been to push him up into canter, because I'm not used to keeping in balance in super fast trot on a small horse. Nor am I used to -- and nor do I like -- running a horse into canter. Buuuuut because I opened that can of worms, there was nothing else for it. I got after him a bit more and felt him try, so praised him for the try. And on the second lap, I got about six strides -- wrong lead -- and called it a day.

Soooo clearly cantering isn't on the table with him right now unless I want to ruin what canter aids he might have somewhere in his noggin. Might see about sharpening up his vocal cue for it on the lunge before trying under saddle again. He is a very SMART horse so I'm sure it wouldn't be so bad.

Oh! I almost forgot. His owner's huge rambunctious dog, who was supposed to be being watched by her son, shoved his way into the arena while I was riding and started bounding around all over and trying to play with her, with me, and refusing to be caught... and this little horse was a SAINT. Did not spook, just kept right on. The wind rattling the doors didn't put him off either. He's such a cool, chill little guy!


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## SteadyOn

Awesome ride on Elle on Sunday! She's definitely over her whatever-it-was spooky phase, and after using the last few rides to just relax and get our bearings back, I was able to buckle down with her and get some real work done.

For the amount of work and food that she's getting, I'd really like to see more muscle development on her, especially in her quarters. She is starting to fill out a bit, in that respect, but there's a lot of room for improvement. Her topline, neck, and shoulders are looking good, but that butt definitely needs some more development.

So I spent that ride really working on transitions and half halts and getting her to use herself a bit better. By the last third of the ride, I had her going in a nice contact and she was really responsive. Not in front of my leg to the extent I would like, but definitely moving with more energy. And not poking her nose waaaay out ahead of herself.

Our transitions were pretty good, pretty snappy, and I was happy with my position during them. My canter seat has lots of room for improvement, but it's night and day compared to what was happening with it in December. I felt like a muppet up there, bouncing around, reins going slack-tight, unbalanced. I had lost a lot of strength, balance, and coordination during that pain flare last year, apparently! But now it's feeling pretty good!! I want: less rock in my upper body, more consistent contact (though some of that is getting Elle to use herself better), less tension in my legs, and for my right leg to stop trying to brace forward on the left lead (which happens at times when I get tired, or if I don't think about it).

She was also much more into our lateral work! I think because she was so much more forward, and because the transitions had her snappier. She gave me much better leg yield, shoulder-in, and haunches-in in trot. We had a couple of instances where we puttered out but most of them were pretty solid!

Flying lead changes were similar: a couple fails but mostly successes! I'm getting better at setting her up for them, and she's getting stronger.

Her only "spooks" if I can even call them that were two occasions where she tripped slightly and startled herself. Which is much more her normal!! Silly girl!


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## SteadyOn

What a day!! It was a two-horser.

I went out to the barn late morning, and planned to ride both Elle and Parker (the four year old hony). I assumed I'd be riding in the indoor for both, but... the barn owner told me to go ahead and use the outdoor arena!! Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!!!

It's really, really nice. At least twice the size of the indoor, and has a coarse sand and fine gravel footing that doesn't get muddy. After the uneven, deep sand in the very tiny indoor, it was a heck of a change. Felt so nice to have more room to play, and to feel some sun and wind. Elle was SO happy and relaxed!! She isn't spooky at ALL outdoors. Her issue with the indoor, I think, was mainly hearing echoing noises from the highway nearby, without being able to work out the source of them. She was interested in her surroundings in the outdoor, for sure, but not worried. So that was great!

We did lots of work on transitions within the trot, and lots of circles each way. I got nice full laps of canter both directions (and it was SO nice for a lap to actually take some time!) and then did a canter serpentine with flying changes. Some were late, but we got all of them! I then worked on a huge circle, both directions, just doing tons of transitions. Walk, trot, faster trot, slow trot, canter, walk, trot, halt, canter, etc. Felt so nice!

Towards the end of the ride, I cantered her twice, on a circle, over a single ground pole between two jump standards, and I think her jumper brain switched on because she got really excited about it. It was very cute!!

To finish, I did circles in both directions with no stirrups, in rising trot, then did a full lap each way in sitting trot. It felt pretty decent, for not having practiced it in a while. Going to be a while yet, though, before I add in any no-stirrups canter!

After that, I grabbed Parker and rode him in the indoor. I don't know him well enough yet to trust him in the big outdoor -- even though I suspect he'd be fine. He's a pretty chill guy. Once again, he was perfect to mount (yay!!), and really lovely to ride. Chunks of ice were zipping loudly down off the arena roof. He flinched very slightly at the first one and, after that, didn't care at ALL. I swear, if he did clean canter departs, I'd think he was an old seasoned schoolmaster. SUCH a good brain!! He does tend to go around with his head too high. I'm trying to give him little releases when he tries to reach or lower his head, but mostly I think it's just a matter of having patience. He does bring it down eventually during rides.

I still can't get over how nicely he steers, even off the outside rein, like a much more advanced horse than you'd expect for his age. I did find he was going crooked down the long sides, on a right rein, but if I just thought of doing a hint of shoulder in, it fixed it. Does he know shoulder in? I can't imagine he does. But who knows. He is definitely responsive, though, without being REACTIVE. Which is so, so ideal!

Everything went so well in walk and trot that I decided to just get a couple of canter departs. I keep telling myself between rides that I won't canter him, but in the moment I can feel that it's there, and his owner has assured me he's done quite a bit of canter work already, so I went with my instincts. He wasn't too bad going to the left. I got two canter departs, that lasted a few strides, that way. But going to the right... oyyyyy. If I try to keep a loose rein and my leg on, he will run himself incessantly in tight circles, at a super fast trot, to avoid the canter depart. And I KNOW that he knows what I'm asking for because the second I put on the canter aids, this is his reaction. If he didn't know what canter aids were, he'd maybe trot slightly faster, but this is definitely an "I don't wanna" thing. If I try to take the reins and steer him, he goes crooked and still rushes. But... it was still better than not steering! I got one thing that *felt* like a try for a canter stride that way, and gave him a little break after that. Then I had to really WORK to get another depart out of him. I actually expected him to just give me a stride or two and die out, and I would have been fine with that, but he surprised me by staying in canter all the way down the long side and part way around the short side. I wasn't used to his canter, and I definitely wasn't expecting that much of it, and I got unbalanced and lost our steering, and had to whoa him before we crashed into the hay bale in the corner. Hahahahahahahaa.

Just when I think "hey I'm pretty good at this stuff" horses always find a way to keep me humble.  But all in all, I was pleased!

I did a bit of work when I got home this afternoon, then went for a walk in the woods for nearly an hour. The late afternoon/early evening sun and breeze felt great. Definitely got my exercise in! Maybe this extra winter pudge will start to go, eventually.


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## SteadyOn

Outside ride again!!

I went up yesterday and rode Elle outside for the second time this season. It was bright and sunny out, but quite windy. Not HUGE gusts or anything, but a stiff, steady breeze. The ring is gradually drying up more and more, and soon the puddles in the corners will be history, hopefully, and I'll be able to cruise around on the rail, the whole way around.

It being breezy, and me being a genius, Elle was pretty hyper and a little silly for the ride. Well, by Elle standards, anyhow, which is still very polite and manageable. But you know a horse that well, you do feel the difference! What was my genius move? Well...

Based on how excited she got about cantering that ground pole last time, I thought, if I do that a few times early in the ride, maybe she'll be more forward for me. The first time over the pole, she was pretty slow and actually broke to trot to get over it. The second time over the pole, I nearly had a heart attack because she misjudged her stride (she usually self-corrects) and landed on it with her front feet. I had visions of her face-planting and me shooting over her head, but luckily it was absolutely fine. The next time over the pole was a bit of a long spot. The next time was a bigger long spot. And the third time was a HUGE long spot that caught me by surprise -- she'll usually chip in -- and chucked me forward and unseated me more than has happened in ages. I didn't really come close to a fall, but I decided that was enough canter pole work for the day. :shock: To say we need to work on our distances would be the understatement of the year. But be kind to me; I haven't jumped in three years!!! And I was in a dressage saddle. And it was literally ONE pole, on the ground!!

After that she was just a bit up and silly. She did everything I asked for, didn't take off on me or anything. But was just a bit stronger and more distracted than usual, and I'm sure the wind exacerbated it. Oops. I think I'll save the canter pole for when I really NEED the extra gas, and not just do it early on before we really get going!! It was a good ride, but I just didn't get as much focus. It was tough to get her together to ask for lead changes, etc. I focused on lots and lots of transitions on a big circle, and they were pretty sloppy because of her distractedness, but they still all happened. My riding was stiff and sloppy too, a lot of the time. I think the silliness about the canter pole rattled me slightly. But that's also WHY I did it. I want to get out of my comfort zone a bit. Still, it was NOT a good day to do any no stirrups work, so I skipped that.

I should probably work on some stretching and fitness and suppleness for myself, at home. I KNOW it would help my riding. But... I resist. I've never been fond of that kind of workout. But I really should. And yet, and yet, I do not.

When I untacked Elle, I just had her stand, ground tied, in the aisle, and I let her visit the mini stallion through the bars of his stall. He can JUST reach to get his nose up to sniff! I think Elle was confused by the existence of the tiny little man, but not in the least bit concerned. I'm not convinced that he even reads as "horse" to her. He did the CUTEST thing though. He grabbed an empty bucket from the floor and was waving it around in his mouth at her, I think to show off. Too, too funny.

After I popped Elle back out, I grabbed Parker, the four year old, to try lunging him in the outdoor arena. Before I got started, I lined him up with the outdoor mounting block -- a totally different size and shape from the indoor -- and did our routine of lining him up, getting him to stand, and feeding treats to him on his opposite side while I leaned across his back. I did that twice, and then once again at the end of the lunging session.

He and I were both a bit of a mess about the lunging, at first. I was just lunging him in a halter as I didn't want to tack him up, etc., just for the first go at it, in case it went horribly. He initially walked around with his head so low that I swear he put his front foot over the line six times. It was like walking a dog that tangles himself up in the leash. After that, I switched the line to the side of his halter and really kept my hand up. Once he got trotting there was DEFINITELY no trouble there, as he spent most of the session going around like a giraffe. He also had NO problem picking up canter on the line!! He was quite forward and excited. He did settle in eventually and give me nice work, though he never really stretched down. I'd like to try him in bungee reins, over his poll and connecting to the girth buckles, on a loose setting, to gently suggest that he reach down more. His canter on the line was rushed and unbalanced, and he was leaning hard against the halter as he went around. He definitely knows his canter aids!! But it was easy to see why it's a problem under saddle. He's just not balanced enough right now, and not working correctly. Yes, he was cantered under saddle last year, but he had most of this winter off, and he obviously needs conditioning again to canter well under saddle this season! So that's definitely on the back burner right now. I'll work on getting him cantering well on the lunge before I even think of riding him in canter more.

All in all, I found that the less input I gave him on the lunge, the better work he gave me. He kept falling in on the side of the circle that was away from his pasture mates, and I kept trying to push him out. And he would just keep falling in. When I stopped trying, he stopped falling in. Noted!! 

I still can't get over how GOOD this little guy is for being only FOUR!

Also, it was really really nice, lunging him out there. Sunny, cool, breezy, and the sun was getting a little lower in the sky, so the light was golden. Suuuuuuuuch a nice way to spend time on a late afternoon/early evening.


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## SteadyOn

Today was sunny, and a beautiful day to LOOK at, but cold and very windy. And what do you (usually) get when you mix cold, windy, and horses? What's that you say? HYPER, wacky, hot horses??

Well, Elle missed the memo today, because while the icy wind whipped across the outdoor arena, she was the most downright LAZY she has been in weeks!!! Don't get me wrong, she still did almost everything I asked. She was a good girl. But she did them on HER terms.

And her terms were going around, singing Lalalalalalala to herself while shuffling her feet. When we moved up from trot to canter, she cantered on cue, but it was about as smooth, and as forward, as a rocking horse. Ba-DUm, ba-DUM, ba-DUM around the arena. It was extremely pleasant to ride, if half comatose. She's a big sporty warmblood, not a western pleasure horse, though it was hard to tell that today.

I thought to myself, I know, I'll add that canter pole back in since it got her ramped up last time!! Well, our first time over it, she broke to trot. Our next time over it, I was trying to count the strides in to figure out if she was going to take off early so I didn't get launched again. And I swear, what should have been 10-12 foot regulation canter strides seemed like 4'. I'd try to count them down as we got closer... 4, 3, 2, uh, 3?, 2, 1... and a half... And hilariously, despite having the tiniest, laziest canter in the world, she STILL took long spots over the pole a few times. I was ready for them though and didn't get unseated or catch her in the mouth.

I actually took good advantage of her itty bitty -- but still very rolling -- canter today to work on my canter seat. Ever since watching the video of myself with way too much upper body motion, I've been trying to do less. I was thinking today, okay, I don't need to canter FOR the horse. What I need to do is just sit up straight here and let HER do the work while I manage this process. And it was great! I can stay more upright on the left lead than on the right. But I definitely wasn't as tense and bouncy as I had been the other day. It felt more like riding a carousel horse! And I kept checking in with myself to make sure I wasn't gripping inward with my legs. I was able to take my knees right off the saddle and still feel stable, so that was cool! My hands could have been better but they weren't awful. Just a bit of slack-tight happening when I got thinking a lot about my seat and the hands didn't follow as well, but it was more slack than tight. Nothing *bad*, just not ideal. But I think improving the seat definitely comes before improving the hands. My coach has actually remarked, in the past, that when my canter SEAT is really on, my hands are often not great, and when my hands are looking really good in canter, my seat isn't as good. She has also commented in the past that I'm the kind of person who really can only change one thing at a time. Which is fine. So, that's what I'll do.

I had hoped to work with Parker, too, but it was getting late in the day and I just wanted to get home and make dinner. Next time!!


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## SteadyOn

I've been pretty slack about updating this past week and a bit. Oops! I've been out to ride three times, though I've actually, technically ridden six times as I rode both horses each time.

A week and a half ago I had a nice outdoor ride on Elle, then rode Parker for his owner for about 10-15 minutes before she hopped on and rode him too. That went pretty well, though he was a bit tense and distracted. One of his pasture mates had been moved away a day or two before, so he and the remaining one kept calling to each other, which set the mini stallion off, too, so it was noisy and a bit annoying. He was still good though -- just never totally relaxed.

I rode on Monday (last week, not yesterday), and it was my first ride in a new-to-me saddle that Elle's owner had picked up. I actually really really like this one -- maybe even more than I liked her built up, higher end one. I prefer dressage saddles without big blocks. And this one is nice and clean and simple. However, my lower legs were moving way more than usual, and also, I think I had pulled something in the glutes on my left side, so my legs weren't hanging evenly and my left leg wanted to be tight and up and forward. My coach, who was watching me try out the saddle, suspected that the swinging lower legs were from my super crappy fabric half chaps (which I've been using temporarily as my good ones are shot), and from the new used saddle being dry and slick. After riding Elle, I lunged Parker -- tried him in bungee reins for the first time, too -- and then hopped on him for a few minutes to work on flexion and relaxation to see if he would stop bracing in his neck so much. The bungee reins helped on the lunge line, and his canter was in a much better form, but I'm not going to ride him in them. He needs to come down on his own for that.

I was supposed to ride last Wednesday but my whole body was sore and achey, and the weather was awful, so I skipped it and rested. Good choice, I think. On Thursday night I had a couple of glasses of wine, heh, and then pulled out my nice leather tall boots and decided I did NOT want to be shifting all over the place in this new saddle. And that it was time to retire the crappy fabric chaps. So I cleaned the boots up and buttered the calves of them with a ton of Oakwood conditioner, which I allowed to soak in over night, just where they contact the saddle flaps, and then wiped off the excess in the morning. When I got to the barn later that day, I rubbed in a bunch of the conditioner on the saddle flaps, too, and some into the seat. It has oils, lanolin, and beeswax, so it's good for the leather and good for grip. Well!! When I got on I was definitely NOT moving around! Hahahahahahahaha. But in a GOOD way, not the bad way I found with the silicone breeches. About 10-15 minutes into my ride, after warming up in all gaits, I realized I was staying so wonderfully still and anchored that I didn't need my stirrups, so crossed them over and proceeded to do 20 minutes, at walk, trot, and especially canter, without them. This is the first time since last fall that I've tried canter without my stirrups!! And at that time I had failed pretty spectacularly at it. I had been so-so on the left lead and so unbalanced to the right that I had to stop and grab the saddle after only three strides. (This was when I was still pretty damaged from the pain flare, and also, Elle's right lead canter had been rough at the time.) But this time it was GOOD! I didn't even miss my stirrups!! I'm starting to really zone in on a better canter seat, and Elle's canter has improved drastically with better fitness and a touch of Previcoxx.

Towards the end of that ride, I was cantering on a 20m circle, just a nice, slow, collected canter, and focused on sitting tall and just moving my hips in that little backwards ellipse shape that follows the motion. The more movement I put into that, the less the rest of me moved and I wish I could have seen how it looked because it felt AMAZING. I was able to get the feel both ways, though again, going to the left is usually slightly better for me. Eventually I got a little tired and a bit of bounce came back into my seat, so that was a good place to end the ride for the day. But I don't know that my canter seat has ever felt so good!! Yay Oakwood! 

Afterwards, I lunged Parker, again, in the bungee reins. He did two HILARIOUS things. He's mostly good to lunge, but early on he tends to fall in and fall out of his circle until he gets it established. Well... There were some very very small jumps set up in the arena, one of which was near the edge of our circle. At one point he sort of winged out in canter, and pulled himself too close to the jump. I assumed he'd turn in, but instead at the last second, he launched himself diagonally over it. It was a tiny jump but thankfully he took it with enough scope that the line cleared the standard. :O I laughed so hard!!! And shortly after that, he yanked us over to three trot poles that were spread out on the ground, and took them as a bounce line!!! Hahahahahahaha. I texted his owner and said "I don't think you're going to have a problem getting him started over jumps." LOL!!!! I hopped on him for a few minutes after, but he had already worked up a sweat and I also didn't have my stirrups long enough, oops, so I was just uncomfortable. I did some half hearted walk and trot for a few minutes but ultimately just practiced getting on and off at the outdoor mounting block. It's different from the indoor one that he's become so good at, so it needs a bit of work, but it's going pretty well.

Yesterday I was supposed to ride, but my back was totally seized up from spending four hours in my car the day before. Could barely move. Today is a lot better, though, so hopefully I'll be back in action tomorrow!


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## SteadyOn

So, as previously mentioned, last Friday's ride was absolutely... *chef's kiss*. One of my best in recent memory. And my canter seat was really really doing its thing -- with no stirrups, no less! I had really really really worked on isolating and finding the motion in my lower back that followed best and allowed the rest of me to be still and well balanced.

Weeeeelllllll... I think entering that zen place trying to find that lower back motion made me not realize how hard I was working those muscles... and then two days later, I spent four hours driving to go get my summer tires out of storage and deal with that. And that lack of motion made those tired muscles totally tie up. On Monday I was in horrible pain and couldn't even fully straighten my back. Soooo, needless to say, I skipped my Monday ride. Tuesday I started feeling a little better, and went for a long walk (just me, not on a horse), and really focused on stretching out those muscles and making them move. The road I walk on has lots of gentle hills, so the ups and downs helped move those muscles from different angles.

I was ready to ride again by yesterday (Wednesday). The saddle was feeling dry again, so I rubbed conditioner in once more and put a little more on my boots for good measure. I have to say, the hardest parts of my ride were getting on and getting down again. So so bad. But the ride itself went pretty well! I wasn't as limber as I had been on Friday, so I didn't do any work without my stirrups, but given that I was still stiff and ouchy and a bit weak, it actually went way better than expected. Did lots of trot circles to get us both limbered up. Did about two laps of sustained canter each way -- which is quite a bit, actually, as the outdoor ring is pretty big. Tried one flying change but she broke into trot... then picked up the same lead instead of the new lead when I asked for canter again, and THEN did the flying change. I gave up on them after that one, though, as my stiffness wasn't helping matters. 

After that, we did just lots and lots and lots of transitions each way on a huuuuuge circle the used the full width of the ring. At first I did all kinds of transitions. But then I honed in on walk-canter-walk-canter to get her really thinking and using her butt. If she wanted to speed up, we did walk. If she wanted to slow down, we did canter. Just a lot of "do the opposite" to keep her focused. Eventually I could tell she was getting tired because she gave me an unasked for lead change from her bad side to her good side, so I fixed it, did about two more transitions, and called it a day.

And after cooling out I did about my worst dismount in recent memory. Kicked my feet out of both stirrups, discovered I just could NOT get myself down. Basically got my right leg stuck on her rump. Had to get back in the saddle, and put my toe in the left stirrup and dismount that way. Thank goodness she's quiet!!! And I'm hoping my back muscles will have forgiven me by Friday's ride. :/


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## SteadyOn

I've had a few rides since my last update, but just fell behind because life has been a bit nuts. Been trying to get my business ready for potential reopening, while doing all sorts of creative financial juggling to make sure enough bills are paid, well, _enough_, until we have more income again.

My locked up back muscles eventually worked themselves out again, but it took a bit. I don't think I've ridden Parker since the last update, though I did try to lunge him just over a week ago -- when he had been inside all day, and when it was cold and windy -- and that was a total bust because he was a hyper loon. So I just unclipped him instead and let him tear around loose in the arena. He galloped and bucked and farted, and even sailed over some of the ground poles and low jumps that were set up in there! I would like to get back to riding him again, as I think he's neat, but Elle is my priority since she's the one I'm actually leasing, so obviously if I only have time for one during a given week, she's getting my time.

I still haven't had that easy, strong, totally connected feeling back that I had during that awesome no stirrups ride. But as my lower back loosens up again things are getting generally better. I'm still trying to find the right stirrup length for me in the new saddle. I think I need to go back down a hole, but what feels right also depends on the day. Today I did work with stirrups, then without them, then with them again.

I have some tightness and asymmetry in my hips that I'm slowly working out of. Today during some no-stirrups trot I noticed my left thigh was moving around and my right thigh wasn't. I tried to feel _why_ that was happening. And see if there was anything I could do to fix it. That was happening on the left rein. It wasn't happening on the right rein, though I did feel my balance shift as soon as I changed directions that way and had to sort of go "Huh?" and readjust myself. My favourite stirrup-less strategy of doing so much rising trot that sitting trot feels deep and easy paid off today. Although when I took my stirrups back and tried sitting trot that way, it felt terrible (but probably would have been better if I had lengthened them!). Over all, I felt good and strong and pretty confident today. I didn't do any canter without stirrups this time, but the canter I did with them felt really nice. I even made myself do a full lap on a loose rein, just to ensure I wasn't unintentionally balancing myself on the reins, as she does like a STRONG contact in canter. All good!

I intentionally left the gate to the arena open so I could ride her out after to cool off. She objected to going over a little land bridge over a culvert, but I did win that one after a couple of nopes from her. The same thing happened crossing a damp ditch with some deep grass. She really, really hates stepping in water, so I grabbed the pommel and hoped for the best as she went across it, just in case she decided to make a last second mad leap, but it was totally fine. On the other side of that ditch, there's a second outdoor arena that never gets used. It's filling in with some weeds but is actually still in pretty decent shape regardless. I just walked her around in there to check out the slightly different scenery. On the way back, she rushed up and out of the wet ditch, ugh, but at least she didn't go flying!! And *I* didn't go flying! Hee hee hee.


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## SteadyOn

Well, I fell off last Wednesday, which I've already described in this thread: 
https://www.horseforum.com/horse-riding-horse-activity/soooooo-i-fell-off-today-815211/

In short, she spooked at ????? at the back of the property. Did a sudden 180 spin with a short bolt and I landed very easily on some soft grass. After the fall I walked her around for about 15 minutes while I talked to my coach about it over the phone. First time anyone has fallen off of her in the entire time she has known this horse. (Except I think once someone came off when she stumbled badly, but that really isn't the same thing.)

After the fall and the phone call, since she was DEFINITELY warmed up by that point, I knew I needed to get on and get in an assertive ride. I did lots of sustained canter both directions. If she had the energy to spook that big, she definitely had the energy to work, after all. :evil: My canter seat was pretty terrible but even though I wasn't conscious of being nervous or upset, there was definitely tension happening in my body on some unconscious level, and fair enough. So after lots of hard work in canter, I did some laps of sitting trot and really worked on relaxing and going with the movement. That part went really well.

I rode her again on Friday and while I can't remember the specifics of that ride, it was all perfectly normal again. We did some lateral work and she was doing it really well. Nice leg yields and shoulder in with a lot of energy. No spooking. She does sort of look, sometimes, in the direction of the woods where she spooked, but I'm not sure that's actually related. I also did a bunch of no-stirrups trot, rising and sitting, to continue to work on my seat and keep my confidence up. That night I also took four-year-old Parker out into the indoor arena, where at least a dozen barn swallows are nesting and zipping around. I just let him loose in there and watched. He didn't care at all about the birds. I gave him lots of scratches, and he made adorable faces. If I stopped and walked away, he'd come up to me like a puppy, looking for more.

Sunday morning I made a point of going up to ride Parker, as it had been two or three weeks. Now that my back is all better, I'll try to add him in again. Welllll... I rode him in the outdoor, without lunging him first (which isn't usually necessary anyhow), and with another pony being ridden at the same times. He was actually totally fine and was neither here nor there about whatever the pony was up to. But he was just... fidgety and hyper. He's normally on the slower, more easygoing side, but he was being tricky to steer and didn't want to maintain one speed. He also had his head in the air. If I trotted him he would speed up and slow down and run into my hands a lot. Fall in and out of turns. Wiggle off the rail. No biggy, but he just wasn't very focused and I wanted to work on just getting him to relax and settle in. Howeverrrrrr...

His owner was there that morning and came out and started directing me over trotting poles. She also wanted me to ride him over some low jumps, and work on canter, and it was like.... ummmm... no??? He has never been jumped under saddle before, and I haven't jumped in three years and am not a confident jumper even when I am doing it consistently. And as difficult as he was being in trot, I wasn't planning on adding canter that morning. So I did the trot poles a bunch, but politely but firmly declined the other tasks, using my fall that week as an excuse (though it wasn't actually the reason!!). I just want to take things slowly with this little guy and work on keeping them fun and relaxed and build on little successes. She wants to start him over jumps already and thinks the answer to his head in the air is to put a running martingale on him. (He will lower his head when he relaxes down into work, so to me that's the logical places to go??) I enjoy riding him, but I feel like she wants to rush him. Or wants me to rush him. I don't want to do that.

By contrast, I hopped on him last night after a nice ride on Elle (which I'll detail in the next paragraph) and just rode him lightly in the indoor. The sun was starting to get low in the sky, the light was warm, the day was cooling off, and the end of the arena was open with the swallows flying in and out. As we had already determined that the birds don't bother him, it was a nice opportunity to just chill out. No one else was around and we just did some easy easy easy walk and trot. His steering was fine, he was a lot more relaxed, and while his head didn't lower all the way into the contact, it was still much better. Phew. It was a nice time and he got lots of scratches. I want more rides like THAT on him before things get more challenging!! I really appreciate her letting me ride her super cool little horse, and I really like him, but ultimately all I want is what's going to be best for him, going forward -- while keeping myself safe!

Anyhow, before that, I rode Elle. It was a really hot evening, still, so I only rode her for about 20 minutes, but got a lot done. I did a four-loop serpentine that was mostly canter but included a trot circle when I got to the wall each time. Kind of the opposite of how I usually do trot and canter in my serpentines. It was interesting. Even though we were on the straight portion when I'd ask her to pick up the canter again, we got our leads every time (although our "straight" lines were a bit, uh, different in places). The biggest thing for me in this ride though is that I think I'm finally GETTING what my coach wants to change in my leg position. When we were warming up at the walk, at the start, I intentionally exaggerated aspects of my position to try to get a different feeling. I put both legs waaaay back, and lifted the front of my pelvis, and leaned back more with my upper body. These are all things I need to work on, but I really did it in an extreme way to start and then settled into a place where the changes were more subtle. Well, I finally got that "kneeling in the saddle" feeling, and I was able to keep my legs back under me. It amazes me how weird my feet in the stirrup irons feel to me when I'm not jamming my heels down. It felt like I was lifting my heels and pushing the irons back, but when I looked down, that wasn't the case at all. I enjoyed the feeling of that different base under me, at all the gaits, and found my legs weren't trying to migrate on me during left lead canter, like they sometimes do. Sweet!! Now to see if I can find that again next time.


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## SteadyOn

I haven't been updating for a couple of weeks. Oops. I _have_ been riding, but my business reopened two and a half weeks ago and it's been quite an adjustment, trying to fit it all in. Whereas before time was, well, nebulous, now I'm having full work days, fitting my riding in to my evenings, and haven't really been in the headspace to sit down and type out how it all went.

I'm still riding Elle three times a week. She looks great for an old girl, and while not quite up to her peak 2018 levels of fitness, she's still looking really good. Shiny and muscle-y and other than a very slightly dropped back from her age, you wouldn't know she was 23.

I have also been riding Parker, the four year old, a little bit. But he's more of an afterthought. He has a long way to go, despite being a good kid. He's level headed and very smart. But he just needs miles, consistency, strength, and balance. His owner wants to rush him a bit. I don't. The last time I rode him while she was there, she wanted to put up jumps!! We're not even cantering yet! Oh wait, I see I already mentioned that... Oh well, I'll leave it here as a recap.  I talked to my coach a bit about it and she agrees with my approach. She advised lots of lunging, with the bungee reins on (just loose) to encourage him to reach down and use himself properly. So I've been doing that. He's picking it all up really well. I rode him last night after my ride on Elle, having lunged him first. We were in the indoor, where he's much more relaxed -- but also more pokey. He did canter some on the lunge. But when I asked for canter under saddle -- just ONCE, mind you -- he got really anxious. I didn't push it and didn't get canter and just worked on relaxation instead for the next solid five minutes of the ride. Whatever his history is with canter under saddle, the aids for it make him really anxious. Interesting. I need to unpack that a little. And will just keep working on the lunge line with him, and getting his strength and confidence up at that gait, before asking for it on his back again.

Things are going well with Elle and myself. I have lots of got-it lost-it happening in my riding skills, which is normal enough. I have days where everything feels pretty good and days where I feel weak and crooked, and everything in between. I had a lesson a week and a half ago and my coach worked us really hard! I was actually sore after, which generally takes some doing. I had a light-bulb moment about our left turns. She's been falling in and I've been having to use a TON of left leg, lately. Well, it turns out that in my efforts to keep her from falling I'm inadvertently making it worse. I need to stop opening my left hand so wide. Stop trying to hold her up so much with the outside rein. And not be afraid to turn my upper torso to the left. When I keep those things in mind and can keep it together (more or less), we have much better left turns. Nice!!

Flying changes remain hit and miss, and are totally dependent on both of our energy levels on any given day. I'm at least getting her out of anticipating them before I ask for them. On the negative side, they're harder to get when I do ask for them.

I've also noticed a big, good change in my seat and lower leg position lately. I'm finally able to get my leg further back under me, and I'm understanding that "kneeling in the saddle" sensation that my coach has been trying to describe to me for ages. The new -- free! -- Mary Wanless podcast has finally gotten the concept through to me in a way that I can understand and apply. I'm no longer jamming my heels down, but resting weight over my whole leg, and not afraid to keep some of it on the stirrup irons.

As for fallout from my fall... There really hasn't been any. If anything, it's helped me, in a weird way. Reminded me that it's a) beyond my control and b) not always something that leads to injury. As I put it to my coach, who asked how I've been feeling since, "It reminded me that I'm either on the horse or I'm off the horse," which was my way of saying, worrying won't prevent it so I might as well make the most of being ON the horse and try things and learn.


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## SteadyOn

I'm still alive!!

Work has been nuts, I haven't had a lesson in a while, and my rides have been sort of blurring together. Not in a bad way, really. But, I'm not making major advancements with my riding.

Positive changes lately: I've fixed her left turn leaning problem. And, surprise surprise, it's been mostly me, not Elle. By changing how I turn my upper body and use my left rein -- by lifting it and keeping my hand close to centre, instead of using an open rein -- she isn't learning anywhere near as much. I think her improved fitness is also helping, though.

I have also been a bit wimpy lately, not going to lie. But in my defense, a buck deer keeps turning up and grazing RIGHT beside the arena fence. And the grass is tall, so he can suddenly appear out of NOWHERE. During my most recent ride, everything seemed fine until we came around the corner towards that area, and Elle startled, and then I saw the stupid deer very suddenly RIGHT there, with his head up and his ear out wide in a Yoda-like expression, and I couldn't blame her because he startled me too!! I yelled "HEY, HEY!!!" a few times, and didn't see him again for the rest of the ride... but still avoided that entire third of the arena space, me being me. *shrug*

Other significant recent developments: the woman who had been riding 4-year-old Parker, until life got too crazy for her for a few months, is back riding him semi-regularly. I rode at the same time as her, one night, and watched her do a whole bunch of canter work with him with absolutely no problems. WELL then. She has also been starting him over fences recently. Sigh. So I will admit, that knocked my confidence a fair bit, because to me it seemed that he definitely wasn't ready for that. But maybe I've been the one who isn't ready -- or good enough.

I know sometimes my lack of confidence is my worst enemy. But frequently, my fears turn out to be totally rational, after all. I'm not sure how one deals with that fact. Do I just ride on confidently as though spooks don't exist, and don't lead to falls, despite knowing that all of the above CAN happen? Elle is great and can pack around small children, but she isn't "bombproof" either. Then again, I'm so happy she's smart and so responsive. I feel like I need to work on myself more than I need to work on her. Probably time for more regular lessons again, as soon as my wallet can manage it.


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## SteadyOn

Still here, just busy -- and tired! So, so tired! In the summers, our business goes seven days a week and we have no staff (yay) so it's just my partner and I. And working with your romantic partner seven days a week is... interesting. Especially during a pandemic.

So, I've spent the last couple of months sort of kicking and screaming my way through, but you know, internally. Still mostly getting in the three rides a week on my partboard, but not always. Little hiccups happen: weather, my own exhaustion, and most recently Elle losing all the nails on ONE side of one shoe. That took talent.

Elle has been absolutely excellent. 23 and still steady steady steady. She looks fantastic, and tries her hardest. We had a couple extremely minor, annoying run-ins with a deer that decided that grazing right beside the arena in tall grass and popping up suddenly was a great plan. No major events, but some understandable minor spooks and snorting from miss Elle. This has since been remedied by the whole area being mowed down. Occasionally he still hangs out nearby, but not RIGHT beside the arena, so so far we're good.

She looks GREAT. Smooth and sleek and well fleshed out. And she's getting better and fitter as the season plays out. Lately we've been nailing all our flying changes, although she still dives in them, which just needs more time and fitness to fix. Her feet are a mess from wear and tear in the arena. She had been shoeless, and has been most of her life, but the footing is a fine gravel that has been completely wearing her toes back, so she's now shod on all fours until the wear has a chance to grow out.

As for me, I've kind of come back around to an okay place in the last week or so. I've been eating badly, drinking more wine than I really should, have packed on a few pounds around the middle. The COVID stress is REAL, let me tell you, especially when you have a retail business. And my riding has been in a rut because I have the same tensions and stiffness that ALWAYS hold me back. I've plateaued. So, starting Friday morning, I decided enough was enough and started a 20 minute morning stretching routine, mainly focusing on hip openers and lower back stretches. I added some additional leg and shoulder stretches too. And the very FIRST day I did this, and then went to ride, I noticed a difference. Last night I rode after four days of consistently doing this, and again, big difference. So I'm glad I started this, but I'm also kicking myself for not starting a regular stretching routine, oh I don't know, at ANY point in the last five years. Well, no time like the present... I'm also going to try to eat a bit better and cut back on the vino. My partner is currently doing Atkins and while I have no intention of doing that, it does mean that there are far fewer carby snacks around. So, we'll see!

Last night was the first Elle ride since my fall where I actually went and sort of hacked around a bit again. I just rode across to the unused arena on the other side of the property, but it does require going up and down a little hill and going through some squishy footing. It was absolutely fine. So that was nice, too. I also rode Parker afterwards, for the first time in a month. He was a twit at the mounting block again, so obviously my work there hasn't been kept up. Sigh. But he was good during the ride, aside from being EXTREMELY sticky about cantering. I got a few transitions but eventually had to give up because we were both getting sweaty and frustrated. Now that I've seen him ridden in sustained canter, at least I know he CAN do it. He just would... really rather not. Plus I could tell that I was a bit of a mess asking. Because he's smaller and his barrel is higher, I have to draw my leg and heel up to cue him, which puts me a bit off balance. And he's not that balanced yet, so he'll dart his head down to try to start to canter, but catch himself in the mouth because I never know when he's going to do that. But if I try to canter him on a totally loose rein, he loses all steering and just runs in a tiny circle and makes it impossible to canter. aaaaaaaarrrrrghhhh. But... at least we got SOME early in the ride. So I'll take those as a win.

Anyhow, still riding, still doing my thing. Just so so so tired!!!


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## SteadyOn

Again, still alive, but tired. So tired!

Riding has been going well. For the most part, with few exceptions, I've been making it out for my three rides a week that I get in my part-board. This, despite working seven days per week right now. Now, I'm not getting anything OTHER than work and riding done, but I am getting those done!

Instead of getting into individual ride summaries, I'm going to kind of sum up where I'm at right now:

Stretching? Yeah, stretching actually helps make you more limber and flexible!! Who knew? (Everybody. Literally everybody knew.) For about a week I was good about unrolling my yoga mat and stretching every morning, and I definitely noticed an improvement in the saddle. Now, for the last two weeks, I've fallen off that wagon, but at least I know it's effective and can start it up again any time.

Lessons? I've had two in the last couple of weeks. My instructor/Elle's owner wasn't able to teach for a while due to her job, but she has a little more flexibility now. She's seeing improvement in both me and Elle, which is great!

My health/strength/fitness? My main struggle right now is in my lower legs. For some reason they're suddenly all over the place. I think I'm trying to make a positive change in my leg position, which is causing a bit of an upheaval, but until that change has happened, things are awkward as heck. I'm doing my best to work on it by thinking about weighting my legs differently during different parts of my riding. And also just trying different things out to see what clicks. 

I have also gotten to a point where I have enough stability and strength to start working in more no-stirrups work, for more extended periods. Even including bits of canter! This is always extremely, extremely helpful for me. Sometimes I forget just how much it helps. During my most recent ride, I was flailing around with my lower legs and kept losing my stirrups. My stirrups felt a bit long, but I knew they actually weren't. So I did about 15 minutes of walk, trot, and canter without them, and then took them back and they felt so awkwardly SHORT that I found it difficult to use my legs right! (They're not too short, either, but wow what a difference once I had loosened everything up in my legs and hips!!)

My coach wants me doing more lateral work with Elle, and also lots of counter canter -- which is darn tricky because she REALLY wants to do auto-changes. But that's the point!

I'll update in a bit more detail later on some of this, but just wanted to do a quick post to say, hey, I'm still alive!!


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## SteadyOn

Again, still here, but work is kiiiiilling me. I'll be able to finally have a day off in early September. THANK GOODNESS.

I'm continuing to work on getting stronger and more even. I can now handle more canter without stirrups on Elle -- and just more canter in general. I'm also playing around with my stirrup length, depending on my needs at a given time. I know that it doesn't need to be a static thing, and I get different benefits from riding either longer or shorter. Or without. It's amazing what changing the leathers by ONE hole does. It feels like a whole FOOT!

Our homework from my instructor is to work on getting around the arena in counter canter. Elle is much happier on a right lead, so that direction is relatively easy. Keeping her on the left lead, though, is an exercise in frustration for both of us. She did enough hunter and jumper at one point in her past that she REALLY REALLY wants to auto-change. My last two rides, I tried starting a left lead, going left on the rail, and then coming back around in a tear drop shape to keep the lead but hit the rail going the other way. Almost EVERY time, when we got to the rail again, she swapped leads or broke to trot. We both got frustrated. I did manage it once or twice but man was it awkward. At one point last night, she threw her head up in frustration, and made herself completely trip up in the back end as a result. Sigh! So we took a break and tried something else. I'm going to give up on trying it THAT way until we've fixed a few basics again with her left lead canter. New approach: make sure we can keep a nice, straight, forward left lead canter down centre line so we're not just depending on the edge of the arena all the time. Then see if I can move her left or right off that straight line without breaking the canter or swapping leads. Also, I think spiralling in and out on a left lead canter circle will help with that control. Once those are good, we can try more counter canter on the rail again.

Riding four-year-old Parker has been great. I rode him four times in the last week and a bit! He's getting a lot more confident lately. He's had more rides, between his owner and another woman at the barn, too, so he's getting more practice, and getting fitter as well. He's straighter, more forward, and gradually getting his head carriage more relaxed and opening up his trot stride instead of feeling rushed and choppy. Last night I was getting some really nice work from him, working on getting moments of inside leg to outside rein connection. Whenever it clicked, he would lower his head and seek contact of his own accord! Yay!! I know he has it in him to do this the RIGHT way so I want to just keep patiently working on that. I have zero desire to crank his head down and in in any way. If he doesn't offer it himself, it's going to be garbage anyhow.

I've actually had two pretty good spooks recently. One was a few weeks ago on Elle. It was just one of those nights where stupid things are going wrong. I got out to the arena, about to mount up, and realized I had left my phone back in the barn. I was riding alone and always want my phone on me just in case, so I had to drag myself and Elle back in to go get it. Once I got back out to the outdoor arena and was mounted, these two young bucks wandered out of the woods and stood by the arena just STARING at us and refusing to go away. Elle was NOT impressed and I really didn't feel like having to worry about them for the whole ride. So, ugh, I dismounted AGAIN and went back to the barn AGAIN and rode in the indoor. However, the sun was getting low, and there's a big crack in the wall at one end where the sun shines in and Elle HATES it. I could feel her being hesitant about that corner but asked myself "what would my coach do?" and the answer was get that horse FORWARD! And it mostly worked. Until she suddenly jetted sideways into a skitter and half-spin from that corner. However, I recovered my seat, and I put on my big girl pants and got right back to it and made her canter through that corner that same way about six times. I felt pretty proud of that! We both handled it well and moved on.

The second spook was on Parker, the four year old who seems to be about as bombproof as a sensitive horse can be. I can't really blame him for this one, though. We were trotting along, when suddenly one of the barn dogs ran up out of some brush, seemingly out of nowhere, right next to us at the arena fence. Parker leapt about six feet to the side with crazy fast reflexes. However, it was over as soon as it happened, I kept my seat, and we carried on. No bolt, no freak-out. He really is a super smart, sweet boy! It made me trust him more, actually, not less. Unfortunately the dog spent our whole ride skulking in the brush around the arena fence and I didn't want a repeat experience so I cut the ride short. This was weird, because I've never known the dog to do that. He must have been after something. Thankfully it hasn't happened since!!

All in all, feeling good! I really need to get back to doing my stretches as that was helping my hips get more open and more even. But I'm still seeing improvement anyhow. So, we'll see!


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## SteadyOn

Still getting out to the barn 3x a week, most weeks. The rides are kind of same-y, not in a bad way, but I don't feel like I have a lot to say about them right now. I haven't had a lesson in a few weeks, so I'm just kind of cruising along, doing my best, trying to figure things out for myself and enjoy the process.

My "homework" from my most recent lesson was to do some counter canter on Elle. Well.... it's hit and miss. She's great one way but will swap or drop to trot the other way. The footing has been too wet lately to really practice this much, but I try to get at least one corner of counter canter per ride, on her bad way. This week the footing was so wet that she was tripping a lot -- though more, it seems to me, than seemed appropriate for the footing. Weird. I wonder if something is a bit off. I might give her a few days off and try her again on Friday or Saturday. She IS 23, so she's not always 100% but she does move well and try hard, for the most part.

I have also been riding Parker regularly again. Actually, the other woman who part boards Elle has been riding him too. So over the last week and a half, we've managed to meet up for three rides where we've started on one horse and then swapped half way through. It's fun! And helpful to discuss what we're each working on with the horses, especially greenie Parker. Parker is moving a lot better. He seems straighter and way way way more confident and consistent. He has a long ways to go, of course, but he has moments where he'll reach down and seek contact instead of giraffing around. He seems to understand the aids for leg yield and a bit of shoulder in, which will be super helpful for getting him to go straighter, use himself better, and get on the contact. But it's all baby steps, of course. Getting little moments of connection and giving a release. I'm trying different things out to see what he understands. We're also each trying to get at least one canter depart each direction per ride, just to keep them in his repertoire. He's rushy and unbalanced, but at least he's doing them. Hopefully they continue to improve.

I'm feeling a lot fitter in my riding and my stamina has improved drastically. I'm pretty solid again now in rising and sitting trot without my stirrups, and I'm starting to reintroduce bits of no-stirrups canter again. I'm pretty good to the left, but still pretty wonky to the right -- which is unsurprising. I always find her right lead canter a little harder to sit, so riding it without stirrups magnifies that. Still, given that I could barely trot without stirrups in December, when I was trying to come back from the big setback of that pain flare last year, this is major progress!!


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## SteadyOn

I haven't vanished! I just... honestly, I haven't felt like updating. I've had a lot of interesting things happening in my riding, and they would have made good entries, but I've been so busy and so stressed and so tired that sitting down and writing it out seems daunting. And the longer I've let it lapse, the more monumental the task of catching up feels. So I think, instead of trying to catch up on everything, I'll point-form a few things and try to get back in the habit of updating each ride!!! We'll see how that goes.

Elle, 23 year old 16.1hh warmblood:
My part-board horse, whom I've now been riding more or less consistently for the last five years.
She's still going well, but occasionally gets a little funny about things. Looky or weird about stuff. Not looking forward to riding her in the indoor again all winter, as she's spooky in there in a way that she really isn't outside. Mostly she's great though. Currently working on getting her using herself a bit better again. Flying changes and counter canter are our current homework, and she hates them, and it's tricky, but we're plugging away.

Parker, 4 year old 15hh pony/QH cross
Riding him as a favour for his owner, who isn't physically up to riding him anywhere near as often as he needs it. Sticking to walk and trot. Trying to get him to use himself better, too. Likes to go around like a hollow-backed giraffe and evade contact. Working on getting him to stay with an outside rein connection and step under himself better. He's getting it. The woman who part boards Elle with me is also riding him for his owner. We have slightly different approaches but they're close enough that I don't think we're confusing him. He's getting a lot better, straighter, and more confident. And WAY better about the mounting block. His current saddle does NOT fit him well but there's not much I can do about that except pad him really well and keep the rides short. While I'm sure it isn't helping his way of going, he was doing this before in a saddle that fit him well, so it's not just that. I wish I could buy him and bring him along exactly the way I want!! He's lovely. But no, no no, no no, I cannot, for so many reasons, not the least of which is that he isn't for sale!! 

Me:
I had a lesson with a biomechanics instructor recently which was eye opening. In some ways I'm trying to do too much of a "good thing" with my chest and back, etc. I'm actually sitting TOO tall and lifting my chest too much. To the extent that I'm too hollow. So I need to push my lower back out more, shorten the front of my body instead of lengthening it so much, and a few other things to correct my position. Even my walk position needed a lot of revision. I was trying TOO hard to follow the motion and need to work on being more still. Even though the lesson was only in walk and trot, it did help my canter seat as well, so that's cool. I think maybe the saddle I'm using on Elle isn't quite right for me, but again, I don't have much choice except to work with what I've got. I think I need to do more no stirrups work to get my hips more open again, but that's all really depending on Elle's mood, too, as I'd much rather stay on!!!

Anyhow, that's the Coles Notes version of riding right now. I'll try to be better again going forward!


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## SteadyOn

Still getting my rides in, but I've been so distracted this fall that the prospect of updating my journal after every ride has felt like a chore instead of something I'm looking forward to. I really LIKE writing updates, but when you're overwhelmed, even fun things can feel like a chore. I'll try to do better with it now.

In September, finally, after nearly four months of working absolutely every day with no true days off, I dropped down to one day off per week -- still not enough -- but as of this week, I'm at TWO days off per week! Wow, the same thing most normal humans get!! Sigh. And wow, what a difference. I was able to spend one day doing whatever I wanted, more or less, and spent one day catching up on chores and cooking and such. My fun day involved riding both Elle and Parker, which was excellent! Whenever I can, I fit in a ride on each of them.

My ride on Elle was a private lesson with the biomechanics instructor. A bit more $$ than I'm used to paying for a lesson, but worth it as she packed a LOT into that hour!! In my previous lesson with her, we addressed the fact that I was trying to do to much with my body at the walk, which was making things harder for both myself and whichever horse I'm riding. So by shortening the front of my body a bit, and not trying to wiggle along with her back, the walk improved and I had to do LESS. I was pleased to hear that the new way of doing it seems to have stuck with me. She also taught me a different way of applying the weight of my seat by not just dropping a seatbones but also using laying the tendons on the upper inside part of my thigh against the saddle. She also wanted me turning my upper body way less during turns. I've always been taught to turn my shoulders and open my upper body to the inside on turns, but I'm overdoing it now, I guess. The funny thing is, I've always especially struggled to get my left shoulder back enough on a left rein, and my upper body open enough. But now it's too much, as ine of her first things was to have me turn it way less when I go left!

I also needed to do the following, in no particular order:

-pull in all the muscles in the front of my body
-shorten the distance between my sternum and my pelvis to keep my upper body in more of a box shape and stop hollowing my back
-keep more bend in my knees so my legs stay further back under me
-keep a relationship between my elbows and my hips
-shorten my stirrups a hole so I could keep the bend in my knees and ankles without straightening to reach
-raise my hands a bit
-keep my knees and toes turned in a bit more they want to be right now so that my thigh stays flat against the saddle

One of the biggest transformations was in sitting trot, which was wiiiild. I don't have a *terrible* sitting trot normally, but this was night and day. In addition to all of the above, she had me think of my seatbones alternately going "forward, forward, forward, forward" with the trot and somehow I was able to move along really nicely with a FAR more forward trot than I can usually sit!!! I also had to make sure I kept my knees bent so my legs wouldn't creep forward on me, my right leg especially.

We wound up working on the sitting trot for a while in an effort to improve how I use my body for a canter transition. I've known for a long time that I have bad form when I ask Elle to canter, but it has worked up to this point so I haven't really tried too much to fix it. She had me establish a good sitting trot, then get myself into the position to ask for canter, then drop my outside seatbone down and back, and put that outside leg on behind the girth. It took me a few tries to get it -- Elle wasn't used to me asking "correctly" either -- but I got it twice, more or less, and it was really cool. She was also a lot more forward when I did things the right way. Go figure. I had been complaining that last week she was being very pokey, but I imagine it had a lot to do with what I was bringing to the plate.

We only did a small amount of canter, as Elle was breaking to have some really big coughs. It's a seasonal allergy thing for her and she can't really help it, but it's difficult to sustain canter on her when she's going through this.

After my lesson, I rode little four year old Parker. He just gets better and better!! We've been working him on a really big circle, in walk and trot, and just playing with getting bend in his body, getting him to relax down into the contact and move forward. He's doing great! His owner really wants him cantering and jumping already, but so far both instructors who have worked with him think he needs a lot more work getting strong and balanced in walk and trot first, and that if we keep that up, the canter will come easily later and be really lovely. So I'm caught in a bit of a funny place -- wanting to do the best for the horse, but also keeping in mind what his owner wants and that he IS her horse. If I could own a horse right now, and he were for sale, I'd be very inclined to go for it. But I can't, and he's not, so it's moot. Anyhow, we did the walk and trot work that the instructors have prescribed, and afterwards, I worked on walking him through some big, deep puddles in the arena. Then trotting him through. He had no hesitation entering the water, but it took a few tries to get him to keep the trot going. He got it though!! His owner would eventually like to see him eventing at lower levels, so the fact that he's totally fine about water is definitely a bonus! He's so easygoing and fun. Definitely a gem!


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## whisperbaby22

I think we're all distracted and overwhelmed these days. Those of us who are able to ride are really lucky. Even a short ride gets me happy.


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## SteadyOn

*A three-horse day!!*

So much has happened in the past few weeks that's it's actually felt overwhelming to write an update, as I don't even know where to start! However, today was SUCH a perfect day that I might as well, for now, start here!

We've been having absurdly nice, very unseasonably warm weather here for the past week. I jokingly referred to it today as "Novaugust." I've been going for long walks with a t-shirt or tank top and no jacket, and sweating even like that!!

Well, today I had the day off and made sure I had a good long time at the barn to get everything done that I wanted. And the weather was PERFECT. If anything, it was almost a touch too humid, but I'm certainly not going to complain!

I rode Parker, the sweet little four year old first. He has been doing incredibly well. So much more confident, strong, and consistent. He's understanding his job more and more and how to use his body better. I've been riding him through puddles and mud, over "jumps" (still so small he can trot over them), and so on. Today I decided to change things up and just hack around the property a bit to make things interesting for him and enjoy the weather. He didn't bat an eye at anything anywhere. The only hesitation came at a muddy patch that we had to cross to get to one of the arenas, and I think he was only hesitating because I was trying to make him take it very very slowly to avoid rushing across.

Once we got to the arena -- one we've actually never schooled in before -- he felt nice and forward and focused, so I thought, what the hell, let's DO this thing!! Now, I haven't cantered Parker in at least two months. My coach, after giving me a couple of lessons on him, said the canter needs to wait until he's more balanced and stronger and going better in walk and trot. Well, he has made HUGE progress in that, and has gone from tense giraffe to working nicely in the contact. So today, I felt like "it" was there, and I asked for canter... and got it! It was LOVELY! He didn't do what he used to do, which was stick his head WAY UP and then WAY DOWN and then fuss and putter out. He went really nicely -- so nicely, in fact, that he didn't want to stop cantering and I had quite a time getting him back to trot, LOL!!! He was a little stickier getting it the other direction, but we still got it! I didn't canter him for as long on that go as I wanted to be the one to decide when we stopped. But WOW! What a difference! The other work, and all the waiting, has been worth it. I also took him out after and trotted him up and down the very very slight hill behind the barn, for a little strength building, and did the world's tiniest cross rail a couple of times, too. He was a saint!

After that, I noticed a new girl had arrived at the barn. I hadn't met her before, but I knew she owned the horse that had just moved there, a cute appy who is ridden bitless and western. We introduced ourselves, and she was very very nice. We went down and rode together, her on her horse and me on Elle. After we had done most of our work -- I didn't do a ton with Elle because she had been used in a lesson that morning and I could tell she was a bit tired -- I suggested we swap horses for the last few minutes. She was like "Oh my god, really??" and was totally on board. I only did walk and a tiny bit of cute little western jog with her horse, and she did a little walk and trot with Elle. But it was fun to switch!! And I always love trying a different horse.

So all in all, GOOD day!! Had a great breakthrough ride on Parker, had a nice relaxed little ride on Elle, met a nice new person, and sat on a cute, different horse! All in a T-SHIRT! In November!!! Amazing!


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## SteadyOn

Gosh, where were we??

Okay, so to catch things up on the BIG developments:

One evening about a month ago, I was having a glass of wine and watching RuPaul's Drag Race while I chatted with a friend of mine online. I heard my phone ding with a text from my riding instructor/Elle's owner, with the words "So don't freak out." Which as everyone knows, is the best way to get someone to immediately freak out.  She asked if I would be interested in buying Elle... as a $1 horse. She wants to get out of owning lesson horses, and coach people who own their own instead. Elle has felt kind of like "mine" for a while now, in a way. I've been riding her pretty consistently for over five years by ow. So while of course I DID freak out, and felt sick to my stomach for a few days while I decided what to do, I met with her owner for a coffee and talked it over. After another sleep on the idea, I agreed to take her. 💗

The reasons I had avoided owning hadn't changed. It's still a bigger financial commitment than I want. I still don't want to end up owning an unrideable down the line. However, I also couldn't see her going anywhere else after all this time. It also felt like the right thing to do for me, for Elle, and for her owner, who I know would have peace of mind with her going to me -- and who would probably also, in fairness, like to stop paying for farrier, equipment, vet, supplements, etc., for a horse she is getting next to no use out of any more! She also said she would help me handle end of life stuff for Elle when the time comes, and that she would trailer her back to her place, no charge, and she could be buried on her property. Maybe it's weird to be thinking of these things ahead when Elle is still perfectly healthy and quite sound, but because I grew up in a veterinary environment (my dad being a now-retired vet, and I worked in the clinic for nine years), these things are a part of the reality of owning animals, and don't feel morbid to me.

On a side note, I had to put down both of my senior cats this fall. I knew it was coming, and while I had mentally prepared for it, both of their declines happened pretty suddenly. They were both over 17 years old, and while the euthanasias were two months apart, in each case I decided almost instantly when it was time that they needed to be done THAT DAY. I cried a lot the day of, for both of them, but I don't feel sad about it anymore because I know I did my best by them. It's still very odd, though, to have started this fall owning two cats and no horse, and now here I am with no cats and a horse.

So it's not that I'm cold. I just know that death -- and hopefully a GOOD death -- is part of the animal-owning experience.

I didn't know if, or to what degree, ownership would change my relationship with Elle. But it has, for sure. I have always been a bit emotionally removed so that, if anything changed and she had to go somewhere else, I wouldn't be devastated. Or at least that was the hope. There's something very nice in the security of knowing she is MY horse and that nothing in her arrangement will change without my permission and knowledge. I'm more affectionate with her. I'm spending more time just admiring her and being with her. I've been working out a new nutritional plan, too, as I've done some research on whether or not I wanted to continue with her current supplements, etc. They were good but had a few holes, so I think I've got that worked out well now, plus or minus a few tweaks. She also now has a RIDICULOUS wardrobe of blankets. HEH. There were some really good deals on them this fall, and I wasn't sure what blankets I would get when I bought the supplies from her owner, sooooo. Yeah, she is now blanket queen of the barn!! I had almost forgotten how satisfying it is to buy things for one's horse. Even getting her a new turnout halter was fun -- and the new one looks sharp!! I had better be careful though, as buying horse stuff is infinitely more enjoyable than buying clothes for myself. I could end up looking pretty ragged!!

The rides have been going really well. She doesn't have the anxiety or the tummy upsets that she had last winter, so far. So she isn't being a spooky weirdo -- at all -- in the indoor arena. The snow zipping off the roof rarely even gets a flinch out of her. Whereas I almost jump out of my skin every time it happens! She's a bit stiff to the left lately, but that happens with her, and I think moving to the much smaller indoor with its deeper footing and tighter turns is more challenging for her that way. We'll have to work on a lot of shoulder-in in that direction, to get more bend and keep her from falling in on the turns. What a difference from last year, though! She was so fit and unbalanced to the left that she would throw in unasked-for flying changes in as many as three different parts of the arena, when we were going left. Now she can go several laps without issues. And my canter seat has improved greatly! I no longer seem to have a particular good side or bad side. I was always bouncier to the right, in the past.

In fact, a year ago I couldn't even handle a no-stirrups trot, which I'd been confident in for ages prior to that big horrible pain flare last summer/fall. But now that's all back, and I can even handle some no-stirrups canter again. Both directions!! A couple of months ago I could canter left but not right, without my stirrups, but now I can do both directions for a short time in a gentle canter. On a circle. Baby steps, but steady improvement!!

My main body issue right now is stiffness and weakness in my left hip, which is affecting my whole left leg and making me toe-out more than I should there. Again, it's WAY better than it used to be. But during that pain flare, the physiotherapist pointed out that I was so stiff there, I was swinging my lower back to bring my left leg forward, instead of moving it from the hip. Wow. So while it's mostly better, long walks, and riding seem to highlight the remaining tension. Once I have a bit more time and energy for myself, I'll work on some at-home exercises for it. For now, doing no-stirrups work with a long leg is probably my best bet!

And here's a picture of her mugging for treats:


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## SteadyOn

Oh gosh, I've been lax about updating... again!! And the longer I leave it, the more daunting it feels. So I'll try to break down the last month into just highlights.

So, mid-December, I had a really excellent lesson with my coach, who is Elle's now-former owner. Even though I verbally took over ownership around the beginning of November, we finally signed the paperwork to make it official. The lesson itself was wonderful because I was feeling really happy, relaxed, and confident. And Elle was going really well for me! The paperwork itself made me laugh a bit, as the bill of sale said something like "purchased on day of trial." Five years and three months is a heck of a trial!!

There are a few things I need to catch Elle up on now that all of that is in my court. She needs her teeth done. I called her vet, but the vet won't do teeth until the spring because of the temperature. Fair enough. Not an emergency, but Elle is overdue. She LOOKS great, but she's dropping some of her grain so definitely needs some routine work.

I'm also getting OBSESSED with treating the thrush in her feet. Absolutely obsessed. I'm like the Don Quixote of thrush right now, tilting at that windmill as many times as it takes. I want her frogs COMPLETELY filled in!! Will they ever get there? Who knows! But it has become my worthy quest. My coach had previously advised using a 50/50 blend of undiluted iodine and clove oil to treat it. But the more I read about safe thrush treatments, the more I go "yikes" at that idea because it's such a concentrated blend and it kills healthy tissue as well. I'm actually worried that previous treatments with that might have impeded her ability to even regrow her central sulcus. But... I persevere! Initially I was treating by spraying her the cracks in her frogs with a 50/50 mix of apple cider vinegar and water. As of a few weeks ago, I started also packing her frogs and any defects in her feet (she currently has a couple of cruddy places on her white lines) with extra strength Desitin zinc oxide cream. However, all of this has been either just keeping things at bay or else just working SO slowly that I'm not seeing improvement as quickly as I'd like. At least it's not getting worse? So I've started her on Sole Cleanse and Artimud by Red Horse Products, just as of yesterday. I do think, from all of this tinkering, that her fronts are at least starting to fill in. I keep meaning to take some photos so I can check the progress, but always seem to forget in the moment.

Sometime back in December, I had a dream that I was riding Elle, just in the indoor where I ride her in the winters. While she was walking around I was doing things like around-the-world, or standing on one side of her in just one stirrup, and was even going to play with riding her in just a neck rope. I would not actually do any of these things on her in reality -- not that I couldn't, necessarily, but it's not really my style and I'm generally risk-averse. But my comfort level in the dream actually gave me a cool confidence boost in my regular riding, afterwards, and it hasn't really worn off. If I could do all of THAT on her in a relaxed state, even in an imagined scenario, then surely I should just feel good about our regular rides??

I haven't been riding Parker, the sweet four (now almost five) year old, much at all lately. A couple of weeks ago he had an "incident" while I wasn't there, where he spooked at something before his owner was about to get on, reared up, pulled the reins out of her hands, and took off galloping out of the arena and all the way back to his field. Yikes. She and a friend caught him, tried to pop him on the lunge line, but he pulled loose AGAIN, snapped his reins, and ran around the (now closed) arena like a lunatic before they caught him and spent some time constructively lunging the crazy out of him. It was SO so out of character, though, that we didn't make too much of it. Elle's partboarder, who also rides him at times, lunged him on her next visit, and he was fine. So we assumed it was over.

HOWEVER, one shortly after all that, I met my partboarder there for a ride together. Often one of us will start out on Elle, the other on Parker, and we'll swap partway through. Well!! I was the first on Parker, and Elle was trotting ahead of his and he started getting a little excited about that, so I decided to steer him off from the track in a big circle. He apparently did NOT like that, because he did a sudden explosive shy-rear-leap-buck about it!!!  And you know what? I STAYED ON. I didn't even lose a stirrup!! And it was over with quickly and I just kept riding him as though it hadn't happened. I normally would have wanted to get off of him IMMEDIATELY but I just kept going!! My confidence definitely is getting better!! As for him... Was it a spook? Was it a temper tantrum? Was he just fresh? Who knoooooowwwwws. But last week my partboarder had a perfectly lovely ride on him. And today I lunged him, then rode him, and other than him scooting forward when a HUGE pile of snow zipped off the arena roof (and I can hardly blame him) he was perfect! Didn't even react to any subsequent snow slides.

Anyhow, I have more to say, but that's enough for now! And gets me updating again!! Yay!


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## SteadyOn

Ahhhh, I haven't been updating again. Whoops. Just haven't been riding a lot lately, or honestly, feeling terribly enthused at the prospect. I know it's temporary, though. That's this time of year for you. Too cold, too much snow, and Elle is sick to death of the indoor arena at this point.

I fell off on the last day of January, as reported here:









Fell off again...


Was riding Elle yesterday. Her part boarder had recently had a pretty bad fall off of a different horse at the barn, and wanted some company for her ride to feel a bit more confident. So the plan was to take turns riding Elle, and lunge the other horse. So, of all the days, and all the horses...




www.horseforum.com





And the first half of February was kind of crummy, as reported here:









I hate February!!!


Anyone else just having a bit of a crap month so far? Can we commiserate? First, right on the last day of January, I fell off my horse due to a giant mystery spook that was seemingly unprovoked. Then, my next two visits, I couldn't ride because snow was CRASHING off the arena roof as it melted...




www.horseforum.com





I've only ridden twice (unless I count sitting on Elle for about five minutes in the new saddle) this month, and I've been doing a bit of lunging, or just visiting Elle and treating her feet. We're making progress on her chronic thrush. It's really only present in her hind right now, but boy is it stubborn! Based on how well the others have cleared up, though, I think it will get there.

I did have a nice ride on Friday (two days ago) but I'm feeling a bit rusty and not quite as confident from having ridden so much less. Can winter be over soon please??

Yesterday I went out thinking I would ride, but I was worried about the snow falling off the roof (though it would have been fine, as it turned out). So I free lunged Elle, and to make things more fun for her (and me!) I set up a small jump for her along one side of the arena. Sometimes she'll just run out when I try to free lunge her over a jump, but even when she does that, she gets hilariously sassy about it and seems to have a good time anyhow. So it was probably going to be win-win.

When I walked her into the arena, I unclipped her lead and she walked past the hay bales and straight over to the jump and sniffed it and just stood looking at it for a very long time. I assumed it wasn't interest, and more of a "You want me to do WHAT??" but...










When I got her going she immediately went over it with no hesitation. And over it, and over it, and over it... I actually dropped it down for a while to just a half-rail... even just to a pole... so we wouldn't overdo it, then put it back up at the end of the session for a few more jumps once she was really warmed up. I think it was actually a bit of a treat for her to jump something!! In her youth, she used to jump BIIIIIIIG jumps, six bar, and she's always enjoyed jumping. Sometimes too much! I don't think she's jumped anything at all for about two years, give or take, so the novelty was definitely there for her.










She was in a much better mood yesterday -- even before the jumps -- but I think it was certainly a nice change of pace for her! I'll try to do this kind of thing more often for her. But not TOO often, haha, since she's 23 and a bit arthritic. Still, the more she can keep moving and doing, the better it will be for her long-term soundness, and her attitude, so I'd rather err on the side of a liiiittle too much than not enough!

Oh, and before I forget -- this was pretty funny. I went to give her a little smooch on the nose when I first brought her in and put her in the cross ties, but I guess I was carrying a static charge, and I ZAPPED her with my lips. She was SO unhappy!! She snapped her head up, and then stood there giving me big, confused snorts and some worried side-eye with her ears back. Note to self: touch something metal before smooching your horse!! She got lots of apology treats and desensitization smooches afterwards. 😄


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## whisperbaby22

My humidity can get down to single digits, I have to be careful, too.


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## SteadyOn

Gosh, I used to be so good about updating after every ride!! This winter mostly felt pretty uninspiring, honestly, and riding kind of fell down a little in my priorities -- although I have still been getting out to at least see Elle a few times per week. I was only riding about once per week for a while, but now that the weather is better, and I'm in a better mood, and Elle seems to be in a better mood, too, I'm getting back in the saddle a bit more.

Elle had her teeth done just over a week ago. I think she ended up a little bit tender after, but she's not dropping her feed anymore so I think it was still worth it. She made faces, eating her hay, for about a week after but now seems completely fine. The vet did say that she has some age-related sensitivity in some of her teeth now, so I guess it's not surprising. The vet also thinks she may starting losing a couple of her incisors in the next few years, but I guess we'll see what happens. As long as she still has molars it shouldn't make a huge impact on how she eats, as the horses in my area don't really get pasture anyhow, and losing some incisors shouldn't impact her ability to eat hay or anything else she gets. Teeth aside, the vet was very impressed with her condition!

Speaking of Elle's condition, the barn owner has started dropping passive aggressive hints that she thinks Elle is being worked too much lately. Elle is NOT being worked too much, at all, and nothing has changed in Elle's workload. If anything, she's been worked a bit less lately. I have no idea where this has come from suddenly, but it's a bit irritating. No one else at the barn rides regularly, so maybe it just seems like Elle getting 6 half hour rides per week is a lot in comparison?? I have known my horse for almost six years, and I've seen her in all kinds of different body conditions and fitness levels. And the one consistent thing is that she ALWAYS looks, moves, and feels her best the more she's ridden. Summer of 2018, she was so fit she looked like she had aged backwards by a good five years -- and she was being ridden about 9x a week then. Ridden hard, too, and being shown. So this is nothing to her, despite her being almost 24. So as long as the barn owner does nothing more than drop hints, it's not really an 'issue,' but we'll see what happens. Meanwhile, Elle's stamina seems to outlast us all!

Speaking of stamina, my riding fitness is starting to get better again. I still have the odd 'fear day,' but given that I ride for pleasure, I'm okay with having some off days and not pushing on through situations where I think spooking or anxiety are likely to happen. One thing about knowing this horse SO well, is that I can feel tension in her that other people might not notice. Which is good and bad. My partboarder will ride Elle in wind, rain, crashing snow, etc., whereas I'm like 'urrghh' if I even notice tension in Elle's neck, or her seeming more distracted than usual. However! She's been in more of a settled, work-oriented mindset lately. So I've been able to really work on myself, and have started doing more no-stirrups work in trot and canter. And my canter seat has been feeling great, of late! Unfortunately, the temperature change has made the arena incredibly dusty, so I've been keeping my rides short to keep Elle and I from coughing up a lung. Can't wait for the snow to melt enough for us to get back outside!!!

Parker, the four (now five) year old that I was riding last year has taken a huge turn for the worse. He didn't get ridden much in late fall, and then in winter, with my priorities shifting Elle in a big way, having taken over ownership of her. And my part boarder was still riding him a little, but again, Elle is her priority. Parker, who never used to spook, started to become explosively spooky in the fall, and then in early January, he did a big, violent spook at the sound of snow falling off the roof, and my partboarder had a nasty fall from him and, we think, a mild concussion. Ugh!! So until this week, no one had ridden him since, although we have both been lunging him a bit and doing some groundwork. On Monday, I lunged him, and decided to hop on him for a short ride... but at that same time, the barn owner started doing work outside with the tractor, and even though he hears and sees the tractor every day, I guess the sound was different in the arena? Or he was just looking for an excuse. Anyhow, he did a big, explosive spook with a shy and bolt and who knows what else (hard to track when it's happening!!). I somehow stayed on, to my amazement, but he didn't feel like it was out of his system. His owner was there and was frustrated that I immediately put him into small circles to keep his hind end disengaged, instead of making him keep going forward. But my personal safety is more important to me than making her horse trot, frankly. I did do a little more with him, to end on a good note, before I put him away. But what a shame that he's now being so explosive and dramatic. He was such a lovely ride last year. On the one hand, he does seems happier outside. However, it's also a HUGE arena out there, so if he does decide to bolt in more or less the 'open,' it could get very dangerous. I'd like to keep working with him, but not at the expense of my own safety. So... we'll see. He's such a neat horse, though, and it's a shame he totally lacks consistency. I would hate to see him ruined, but at the same time, he's not my responsibility.


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## SteadyOn

I'm finally getting my groove again. And the early-ish spring here has been a huge help! Last year I wasn't able to ride in the outdoor arena until May, but this year the snow -- and there was a lot of it -- went away FAST! My first outdoor ride of the season was March 31!!! Unfortunately it was super windy that day, and a neighbour also decided to come out and start clearing trees with a chainsaw, so it was preeeeeeetty short. But hey, an outside ride, in MARCH!

Elle is much happier and way more like herself outside. In the indoor, she starts to get bored (and I can't say I blame her) and small noises in there can really get amplified. So she gets uncharacteristically spooky. Outside, next to nothing bothers her. The only things that wig her out a bit are when deer come out of the woods and stare at us while we're riding in the arena. That's one of the only frustrations out there, though.

I'm also hoping to be able to ride her around the property a bit, and maybe on some trails (which the BO's son is cleaning up for us this spring), so I'm hoping to avoid the spook-and-spin kind of fall I had from her last spring at the back of the property. I'm taking her out for long walks in hand all over the place, and giving her lots of cookies, so she gets used to going out beyond the arena and looks forward to it. She has always hated water, and even though she's almost 24, I think there's still some hope! Yesterday I was leading her into some squishy, muddy bits, and some deep puddles, and giving her treats for coming in and standing quietly. I'm of the belief that if a horse rushes through something they don't like, that doesn't count as them being "okay" with it. So even if I could get her to blast through a puddle, I'd much rather keep my brakes and steering and sit quietly instead!










I've also been getting Parker out a bit, with some hand walking and lunging. Yesterday, Elle's part-boarder came and met me at the barn, and we took him out and lunged him, and she finally got back on him for the first time since she fell off of him in January! I kept the line on him and walked with them at a bit of a distance so I could intervene if necessary. But other than him being a bit stiff and tense at first, he was fine, and I was able to let him loose and she rode him quietly for the end of the little excursion. I think he'll be okay once he has consistency again! But just in case, I picked up a grab strap for his saddle, too!! I got one for Elle's as well, for our first hacks out around the property. She steers well one-handedly, so if I'm worried she might pull a sudden 180 on me, at least I can be ready... ish!


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## SteadyOn

Not a lot to update on lately, so I haven't been super on top of things. Elle is looking great and moving well. Her spring allergy cough has been especially bad this year, so that has held us up a bit in our riding, but not terribly. Just haven't been able to work her as hard or as long, and the cough breaks, with her head plunging down (and it's a big head!) are unnerving. On the plus side, it's helping my core strength! And the exercise does seem to help shake the goo loose.

To that end, I did try giving her Zev for a while, but it didn't seem to do much except make her hate me. So I changed tacks and started adding spirulina to her feed. It's supposed to have a natural antihistamine effect, plus some nutritional side benefits. Too soon to tell if it's doing anything though. Apparently it can take up to six weeks to really "work," by which point, her allergies should be miraculously over anyhow, haha. Dang.

She looks great though! I've been trying to ride her out around the property a little bit more, and being walked around has helped her not be so nervous outside the arena. However, _I_ am still a big chicken. I have a grab strap on my saddle now, for that purpose, and find myself clutching it with one hand for dear life in case she does a fall-worthy spook-and-spin like she's only done twice ever in the six years I've been riding her. I know my odds of being fine are about 99.66% but my brain still goes "but what IF..." and so... grab strap. I know she's great hacking in company, but like so many horses, she's not so keen on hacking alone, so here we are.

Allergy cough aside, she's shiny and happy and looking fan-freaking-tastic. She turns 24 on the 27th of this month, which is neat. I've never known her actual birthdate before, but it's on her papers. So I'll try to get out to visit her on that day, not that she'll know the difference. But I will!

I've been getting used to occasionally riding in the close contact saddle I bought from my coach. It feels less and less strange. I think maybe doing 1/4 to 1/3 of my rides in it would be good. Keep me doing mostly a dressage seat, but still have this saddle to work on a two point and on developing different muscles. I think yesterday I managed a whole two minutes of trotting in two point, wooooo! And I trotted her over a 10" vertical, which she actually did jump. Ready for the big times, hahaha. Unfortunately she's not used to jumping these days, and really dives her head down on landing, so it's not very pleasant, and I'm certainly not going to canter her over one any time soon. But it's useful to remind my body that it knows how to ride a jump, anyhow, even if I never pursue it. Probably best not to do too much of it at her age anyhow -- not that she can't handle it now, but why play with fire.

Speaking of "her age," two of the women at the barn seem to have it in their heads that she's being ridden too much for an old horse. Meanwhile, she's easily the fittest and healthiest looking horse there. Yes, she's on some low dose previcox, but it's to keep her limber so we can maintain the fitness level that keeps her so sound and healthy. It's not to mask some major underlying lameness or anything. Just some age-related stiffness and mild arthritis, and the best thing for arthritis is to keep the horse moving!! So what the heck?! I called my coach (Elle's previous owner, who has seen her pretty recently) to make sure they were the ones off-base, not me. And she said that the worst thing I could do would be to cut back on Elle's work load, and that she's doing fantastically. So it's not just denial on my part of something.

Parker's owner really wants us riding him again, but I don't really have the time and energy after I'm done doing everything I want to do with Elle, and my part boarder is happier riding Elle than riding him. He's a wonderful little horse who just needs a more experienced rider for his (very few) baby moments. I feel badly for his owner but at the same time, she hasn't tried very hard to find someone to get him going. Probably a lot of people out there would jump at the chance!! I do lunge him sometimes for her, but it's not enough on its own to keep him fit.

In unrelated news, I managed to cut the tip of my left thumb horribly last night while chopping vegetables for dinner. Spent the whole evening at the ER, getting stitched up, and had to have part of my thumbnail removed, as I cut right across and through the nail bed. Yikes. So no riding for me for at least a few days, possibly a week or more, as I can't hold the reins. I'll still go visit though!

Anyhow, here are some recent Elle video and pics, just for fun!

Lunging recently (and not looking, to me, like a horse who needs to retire!!!):





Making faces:


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## whisperbaby22

The horse will let you know when to slow down, not some busybody.


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## SteadyOn

I went out to see Elle for the first time, today, since cutting my thumb open the other night. It's still looking pretty gory, and is quite tender, so I knew I wouldn't be riding today. Tacking up, and gripping the reins, all seem like bad ideas for the moment. I kept a latex glove on that hand that whole time I was at the barn, to keep the wound clean, too.

I groomed her quickly while she ate some grass, and brought her down to the outdoor arena and lunged her. She was kind of ho-hum and pokey on the lunge lines, but she got a decent little workout in, with walk, trot, and canter in both directions. Then I decided to free lunge her, and see if she was a bit more animated. Well!!

She THUNDERED around the arena! It was awesome. I can't remember the last time I've seen her actually really open up and gallop. The sun was shining, she was was shining, and doing some whinnying, and kicking, and farting. I shot this after her zoomies were mostly over and she had slowed down some, but she was still moving pretty good here! She was definitely doing her best impression of a movie horse.






Gee, sure looks like an old, overworked, arthritic horse who DEFINITELY needs to take it easy, huh?? 

After that, I took her for a little walk around the property. The driveway goes out to a two-lane highway, and I walked her down to the end of that so she could graze close to where the cars whiz by. More desensitization! While we were there, I heard a voice call out "Beautiful horse!" Turns out there's a day care right across the road, so I asked the woman there if she wanted me to bring Elle across for the kids to get a better look. So we did! Unfortunately there was a big dog tied up and barking its head off in the yard, and between that and cars going by behind her, Elle was pretty distracted and a little agitated. But she was quiet enough for the kids to touch her and for the woman to get a photo, so that was nice. Elle finished up by pooping right in their driveway. Haha, ahhh well.

I walked her around on one of our usual paths back on the barn property again after, and she seemed to carry a bit of the stress with her, which was interesting. Just flinched at a couple of things she wouldn't normally flinch at. It's interesting how she holds on to things sometimes. It's something I want to work on with her, but it's a long process. The walks, etc., help though! And when I turned her out, she had a nice, big roll!


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## knightrider

Look at that beautiful animated trot!


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## MeditativeRider

She is beautiful and looks amazing when she moves. 

Ouch on the finger. I hope it heals well! I think knife cuts heal better than crush injuries, so at least you've got that as a good thing. My youngest crushed her finger in a door hinge last year. It cut right to the bone across the pad of her finger. It took over 2 months to properly heal. I also crushed a finger in door as a child and had to get the entire nail removed. It grew back, but to this day I can tell what one it was because the nail is thicker and has some lines in it.


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## SteadyOn

MeditativeRider said:


> She is beautiful and looks amazing when she moves.
> 
> Ouch on the finger. I hope it heals well! I think knife cuts heal better than crush injuries, so at least you've got that as a good thing. My youngest crushed her finger in a door hinge last year. It cut right to the bone across the pad of her finger. It took over 2 months to properly heal. I also crushed a finger in door as a child and had to get the entire nail removed. It grew back, but to this day I can tell what one it was because the nail is thicker and has some lines in it.


Oh yikes!! Yeah I'm hoping this one won't be toooo bad, but we'll see. I'm having it looked at by a nurse practitioner tomorrow morning. It was a clean cut, but it was DEEP and nasty. I keep flashing back to The Shape of Water, and the bad guy who has his fingers sewn back on (which isn't really a spoiler if you haven't seen it, but it's memorable, yikes). Worried about my outcome. The nail bed where the nail portion was removed is a bloody mess, and still swollen above the nail below it, but I suspect that's not abnormal, at least for the first while. I'm hoping things are looking like they should at this stage. The sutures are now looking a little loose, if anything, which probably means the swelling has gone down a lot. Actually, one of the most annoying things isn't the injury itself, but the bruising and swelling from where the freezing needle went in. I've never reacted well to freezing. But I'm sure glad they used it!!

The doctor actually suggested I might want the WHOLE nail taken out, as it might come back cosmetically better that way, but I don't care that much about the look, and didn't want to have a raw nail bed for any longer than necessary. Fortunately I just lost the top left quarter of the nail, in kind of a diagonal slice. Hopefully won't take too too long to fill back in!


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## MeditativeRider

Hopefully since they sutured, it will heal relatively quickly. The doctor we saw for my daughter decided not to suture it (it was at a weekend after hours doctor, not our regular), and just put steri strips on it. When we saw our regular doctor, she said it should have been sutured, but it was too late by that stage. It kept gapping open and I don't think that helped the healing.

The worst thing I remember from having my nail removed is they did not use the correct type of dressing on it and it got stuck to my exposed nail bed. They had to soak it and the pull it off with tweezers when they wanted to change the dressing.

I hope since it is the tip you have missed cutting any important nerves.


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## SteadyOn

Ah, where were we! Okay, so, thumb is doing well, thankfully. I was able to just take the stitches out myself after ten days, and I took a sharp razor blade and cleaned the area up a bit and, other than the funky nail that needs some time to grow in -- obviously -- it looks pretty normal! The sensation isn't totally normal yet, but it's getting better all the time so I'm pretty confident it will all be more or less healed soon. Definitely a relief to have that out of the way, and to be able to ride again!

While I was off from riding, I watched my part boarder have a lesson on Elle. It's always eye opening to watch someone else ride your horse, especially when they're getting instruction. And my goodness, the difficulties they were having with halt!! Just walk to halt! It wasn't poor riding at all. Elle is just hard to stop unless you're firm and a bit abrupt. Otherwise she'll just keep creeping forward. It showed me how much better I've gotten at handling that with her. After the lesson, I stuck around and gave a little "lesson" of my own to the part boarder, which she found helpful, too.

Elle's cough has mostly been improving as well, although it's been so dry lately that the dust in the arena is causing problems unrelated to her allergies. My last couple of rides -- other than yesterday -- were really good! I also took her for a long hand walk down the side of the highway (just a short ways thankfully) and up a quiet side road. Although the side road was VERY hilly with loose gravel, and a bit of a challenge to her now that she's in shoes. Still, she was great, and didn't even flinch at a dirt bike coming down over the crest of the hill towards us. (The driver was great and slowed right now, which was nice, but I really don't think Elle would have cared.) I also rode Parker earlier this week! Not for long, only at a walk, and I lunged him first. Quite a change from last summer when I felt very relaxed on him. I just don't trust him anymore, which is probably mostly a problem in my head, and not with him. I'm sure he'd be completely fine 99 rides out of 100, but I worry about that 1 now. Not sure a green horse is right for me this year while my nerves are already a little fried, anyhow.

So, yesterday. It was Elle's 24th birthday and I got out there early and took my time, let her graze, spiffed her up, and took some "nice" pictures of her tacked up. Couldn't quite get the angle or the background right. And she kept flopping her ears back or closing her eyes. When I did get some decent shots, I only noticed after that the saddle was a smidge too far forward in them. But I did fix it before my ride. And then I filmed my ride... my absolutely dreadful ride!!

Where to start? Elle was extremely pokey compared to usual. She also coughed a bit (not unusual) but didn't seem to get it out of her system and was resistant to steering, transitions, cantering... Also getting looky and breaking from whatever gait in one corner. Normally if she does feel like she needs to cough, the best thing to do is to keep her moving forward, and do a few transitions to get it out of her, and she's good to go. But she just held onto it. And her head just wasn't in the game at all. Her rides have been GREAT lately, but she just acted completely annoyed yesterday. And the wind was up, so that didn't help. So I did what I could but didn't push her too hard, and gave her some carrots and put her away. What can you do. And of COURSE this was the ride I chose to film, for the first time in over a year!! I also didn't look anywhere near as good as I hoped I might, yikes, but it was also a frustrating and exhausting ride, so there's that. Tomorrow is another day!!

Here's her "best" birthday pic (which I posted in another thread) plus a pouty mare-face outtake, hahaha. Not looking too shabby for an old lady!! That shine is all-natural (but I did whiten her foot in photoshop, in the "good" pic, because it was easier than bathing it 😄 )


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## knightrider

She looks lovely!


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## SteadyOn

I've had a few rides since Elle's birthday, and she's been a bit more cooperative again. She was coming into heat then, and it lasted a while. And while she doesn't show dramatic signs like some horses, she gets girthy, and she's a little more distractible during rides. Fairly subtle -- but I know her well enough to be able to tell!!

Saturday I had a really good ride. It's been hot and humid here, so I went out in the morning hoping to beat the heat and get my ride in before the morning routine there started. Buuuut I was later than I meant to be, and the morning chores started early. So there I was, five minutes into my ride and still doing my walk warmup, when all of the following happened at once:

The barn owner hopped onto the enormous tractor and started it up, raising the manure bucket about ten feet off the ground, and drove it into the pasture beside the riding ring.
Her friend who often helps her started turning out the horses in Elle's paddock.
The biggest barn dog started skulking around in the tall grass right beside the arena.
The barn owner started lowering the manure bucket, which started making a loud banging, ratcheting sound.

And I hopped off to give all the chaos a few minutes to settle, because while Elle hadn't reacted to any of it yet, and might not have cared at all, I'm also not into potential self-destruction.  

After that, everything went pretty smoothly. I'm very aware that I haven't been working very hard in my rides lately, and I need to push myself more. Part of the problem has been Elle's spring allergies, as I haven't been able to push her much either because she's had too much of a cough. But now the cough is GONE! Yes!!! So her stamina is better. And mine needs to catch up again!!!

Current physical issues: I think I may have some mild sciatica happening in my left leg. Maybe. It's happened before and will probably happen again. On Saturday evening, after my ride earlier that day, my whole left leg had some pain starting at the hip, and a little bit of numbness on the top of my left big toe. I took two extra strength Advil and I was completely fine by the next morning. I guess I did work harder than I'm used!! I also have a stiff and sore left shoulder from... get this... SLEEPING. I'm sleeping on it oddly, and I can't seem to fix the problem because, well, I'm asleep at the time. Hopefully that too shall pass. Bodies, man.

Last night I went out to the barn even though it was too hot to ride, as I wasn't thinking on Saturday and forgot to bring my helmet home with me. I have a lesson at a different barn tomorrow morning, just to get my butt on a different horse and pay someone else to yell at me for a change of pace. 😆 Elle is pretty push-button. So it's easy for me to get complacent, and riding other horses is a good wake-up call. Anyhow, while I was there, I did up her supplements for the week, hosed her off to cool her down, let her have a roll in the sand indoor arena, let her have a good graze while I brushed her and detangled her tail, then took her for a walk, put some Desitin on her face to soothe some bug bites, cleaned her food and water buckets and gave her fresh water, gave her some cookies, and gave her a hug and thanked her for being a good sport. And that is how "I need to go pick up my helmet" becomes and hour and a half at the barn!


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## SteadyOn

Had some neat rides lately!


I had a lesson last week on a different horse, at a different barn, to shake things up a bit for myself. I had tried one lesson there a year and a half ago and liked it, but that was before the whole part-board arrangement with Elle fell into place. And then my surprise ownership of her!


Elle is a really great horse. I have very very very few complaints. And she’s very forgiving. So it’s easy for me to get a bit complacent. On the one hand, saddle time always leads to improvements, and it’s so nice to have a horse who will autopilot enough for me to try different things and adjust my position, etc., to make little breakthroughs.


On the other hand… like… can I actually ride well?? Or can I just ride her well?


Things were almost immediately, ahh, different. I rode an OTTB gelding who was pushing 17hh. Elle is 16.1 and is about the tallest I’m comfortable riding, generally. Hey man, that extra 2-3 inches counts if you hit the ground! I had previously ridden a different horse at this barn, a 15.3hh OTTB (they’re almost all OTTBs) who was very chill and fairly easy to ride. This horse was… Hmm.


He was immediately pushy with my space in a way that I’m not used to anymore. When I mounted, he started walking off. We immediately had steering issues. It felt more like he was willfully ignoring me than not understanding. I’m normally skeptical of people talking about horses not having “respect” but that was the impression I got from him.


Anyhow, she had me just work on a smallish circle up at one end of the arena. Man, we had major steering issues. He also wanted to slow down and bulge out towards the barn on that side of the circle every time (even though we were as far from the barn as possible), and as she had taken my crop away at the start of the ride because he apparently didn’t need it, all I could do was give big “Pony Club” kicks to make him move.


I was apparently leaning too far forward and carrying my hands too low -- a total tension response with me. So we worked on getting me more upright, and keeping my hands higher and together. And getting my elbows in and my thumbs out.


She had warned me that he occasionally does small spooks. Well… he was going along normally at a walk and suddenly EXPLODED forward a few strides in a big spook at nothing. It was over with quickly, but hoooooolyyyyy. I wouldn’t call it a bolt since it didn’t last, but like, a mini-bolt? I sat it fine, somehow. Caught him in the mouth, but fair enough. He pretty much did that to himself. What saved me was the fact that he shot more or less straight forward instead of moving rapidly sideways, which is still my kryptonite (and probably most people’s).


We just stuck to walk and trot. She asked me if I wanted to canter him but I declined. I was having a hard enough time, and didn’t need to add speed!! He didn’t spook again after that, and started going a bit better eventually and carrying himself on the bit and steering more.


I enjoyed the lesson more than it probably sounds like I did, here, but I won’t be in a big rush to get back on that horse in particular. It was disappointing in the sense that I hoped I’d be able to do more, but I think on a different horse I probably could have. Or at least, after a few rides on this guy to get used to him. When I have travelled and had lessons on different horses, it has always gone better than this did!


So. The next day, I went out and rode Elle and LET ME TELL YOU, I have never felt happier or more relaxed to be on her! Sitting that big spook on the other fellow reminded me just how infrequent her own spooks are, and that I have sat every one of them but two, in six years of riding her. She’s not 100% bombproof but she really is about as good as it gets in a horse who has some life in her.


I did all kinds of things that evening that would normally worry me for no good reason. Hopped on her in the indoor arena, rode her up the driveway a ways, rode her through the second arena that we never use. A deer even crashed through the bushes about 20 feet away from us and she didn’t bat an eye. I kept thanking her and singing her little songs, hahaha. She was perfect! And I think my super chill mood was rubbing off, too.


A few nights later when I rode her again, she spooked at absolutely nothing in one of the paddocks -- her own turnout paddock (empty at the time) of all the places to spook!! But it was just a little duck-and-scoot, and worried me far less than it usually would, given it was a fraction of the spook I’d sat on the gelding! Sometimes you just need something to compare your troubles to, to put them in perspective! And while it wasn’t the totally blissed out calm ride I’d had a few nights before, my default levels of anxiety were still definitely lower.


I also had a biomechanics lesson on her the other day, which was very cool! But that deserves its own detailed entry, and this has gone on rather long enough.


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## SteadyOn

Slumpy days lately... Apologies for the lack of updates, but I've just been so, so tired! Most of my rides have been good, but not in the past couple of weeks.

The weather has been lousy lousy lousy. Constant rain and grey skies. Elle is distracted and spooky and weird lately due to the weather/being inside too much/a new foal at the barn/being in heat probably. I'm working far far too many hours, now that we're out of lockdown and we're straight into the busy season. Retail ownership in a summer tourist area = working seven days a week for three and a half months straight. I'll be going like this until mid-September, wheeeeeee, and I'm already feeling very burnt out.

Last night I tried to ride but only lasted about ten minutes because the outdoor ring was totally sodden, and riding up the driveway instead wasn't working because Elle was looking for any reason to spook due to the aforementioned distraction and spookiness. She was behaving similarly in the indoor arena. So I hopped off and lunged because I'm not a fan of falling off. Braver riders than I -- and that's probably most riders -- might have pressed on, because the signs were pretty subtle. But I've probably had fewer broken bones, so, who's laughing now...

Tonight I just took her for a walk. She decided to randomly snort at some things, but was otherwise fine, and even went through some puddles, which are her nemesis. I untracked her back legs a couple of times to check her tension levels and she was stepping across so that seemed all right. I suspect it would have been a different story if I'd been riding, but just taking a walk together is nice too.

The constant rain and humidity are making her coat look dull, as well, so I don't currently have the bonus satisfaction of a gleaming horse to cheer me up. If riding isn't working out right now, I might as well enjoy looking at her, right??

In better personal news, I am now past the two-week mark for my second vaccine dose, so hopefully brighter and more social days are ahead.


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## MeditativeRider

Yay for being fully vaccinated, and also for a busy retail store (although not so yay for the long hours). I am self-employed (in an entirely different area [editor]) so I understand the feast and famine of working for yourself and feeling like you have to take on all.the.work when it is available. 

I definitely fall into the not so brave riders camp, so would have made the same choice to get off.


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## SteadyOn

Apologies for the lack of updates lately! I've been having some really nice rides and taking Elle out for some nice walks in hand, too. The rides are going well, though my usual physical and mental hangups are always in play to various degrees. I'm in a bit of a better mental place lately though at least. Less fear, though there is always SOME fear. I think all the handwalking around, encountering different things, has helped Elle's confidence and in turn, mine. I'm less worried about her having unpredictable (over)reactions to things, which makes me less tense, and makes her less tense.

During my rides, I've been trying to do more work with poles. In trot, to keep her limber and active and lifting her feet. And in canter, using a single pole to be more aware of her stride length and distance, and be less freaked out when we get it wrong and she takes a long spot over the pole. (Although, in a recent ride, a long spot result in me completely losing my right rein!! Good thing she's a good girl!)

I had been wanting to do more work on getting my two-point back, too, especially now that I own a jump saddle again. Buuuuuuut... it went HORRIFICALLY mouldy in the barn. So humid lately! I washed it all down with dilute vinegar, let it dry completely, then used a mould-inhibiting conditioner on it. Three days later... the mould was back with a VENGEANCE. It was among the worst mould I had ever seen on tack!! So much for that product! So, vinegar wash again, and let it dry, then just sat it out in the sunshine and air for three or four days. It now seems cured... I think... but I lost a couple of weeks there, during which I could have been practicing in that saddle!! Sigh. At least the dressage one is fine, which means that I could have and should have been riding in it lately, except...

It's been too. Stinking. HOT. The temperature plus humidity has been adding up to a "feels like" temperature of nearly 40 Celsius (about 100 F) and anything over 30 isn't very horse-friendly. So, I haven't ridden in a week and a half. Instead, when I have made it out (which has only been about twice a week on average, unfortunately) I've been taking her for walks instead. I actually LOVE the walks, though! So long as I remember to use bug repellant on both of us first. I can expose her to stuff I wouldn't want to under saddle, without fear of a spin or something else unpleasant. The other night, I led her into a new field where she got REALLY tall and didn't want to walk past an old round bale -- but we did it. We crossed a muddy ditch a few times. She hates water and mud -- but we did it! We even got fairly close to a bonfire, twice. And while she got a bit snorty and skittish, we lived! Good learning experiences for all.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow morning!! And I leave you with this gorgeous shot from Saturday night's walk:


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## SteadyOn

This morning's ride did happen, and it was fantastic!!

I rode for a full HOUR, in total, which almost never happens. I usually do about 5-10 minutes of walk to warm up, about 20 minutes of actual "work," and then a five minute cool down (since she's almost never worked up by that much workout).

Today, though, I hopped on in the indoor arena, walked her up the driveway a bit and then down to the outdoor arena. Then warmed up a few more minutes, before doing lots of trot work, including the poles I had raised up on those little lime green Ikea potties.










They work SO well! Although she managed to knock the single pole off of one potty on only our second WALK over it. But it was still raised enough to do some good, so I didn't bother hopping off to fix it. It did mean that my intention of cantering a raised single pole didn't really work out, though. I also have four poles set up for trotting, with the first one on the ground and three raised up on the potties. Her first time through it, she sort of paused and banged through, but did manage a couple of good trot passes through them. Twice, she thought perhaps trying to jump somewhere in the middle would be a more efficient solution. 😂 It was not. But we lived!!

I did do the canter pole a couple of times. Our first attempt, we were messy and she actually did a runout. A runout.. of a ground pole. Oh boy! But we got over it a few times after that. She was more inclined today to shorten up to fix her stride than to take a long spot, which is certainly my preference!! I'll take whatever though, really, as long as we both commit to staying in canter.

Her canter was a bit forehand-heavy and she was barging through my hands, which means I have not been doing enough to get her using her hind end and paying attention. Given that I've barely ridden this month... fair. So I circled her and did some walk to canter to HALT to walk to canter, etc., work, using the arena fence to help her stop. A small silly fear in the back of my mind is that she'll "lock on" to the arena fence and try to jump it, as it would have been within her capabilities in her younger jumper days. But given that she ran out on me for a POLE, I think it's pretty unfounded.

After all that, I did several laps each way with no stirrups, rising and sitting trot. I like to post the trot without stirrups until my body is tired, and then it just naturally sinks in deep and follows the sitting trot wonderfully. If I go straight to sitting trot, stirrupless, I find I'm still holding tension. After this, taking my stirrups back made them feel really short -- whereas they felt long during the ride. A good indication that I REALLY need to keep up regular no-stirrups work!!

I took her for a short hack, at a walk, just over a muddy ditch (which she crossed like a pro!), around the unused second outdoor arena, up the neighbouring driveway a little ways, then back down, and into a scrubby sandy lot where an old trailer was parked. All of these areas are on our normal hand-walk route, so I figured she'd be fine, but I still tend to keep a few fingers of my left hand on the grab strap just in case. However, she was perfect! She startled slightly when she saw the two month old filly out in a field we passed by, but honestly, she is VERY distractingly cute so I really can't blame her. She has come a long way with not being a turd outside the arena, yaaaaaaaaay!!! And my body felt really good despite it being about 10 days since my last ride, and my period on the horizon. So, pretty happy about all that!

Here’s the big brave beastie having a post-ride snack.


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## whisperbaby22

It's been humid here in So Cal all summer, 70 - 80%. But the temperatures have been low, mostly under 100. I think the heat that usually hits down here went up to you. 

Usually I am being zapped by electricity all summer, not once this summer.


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## SteadyOn

I have been wanting to try ground driving Elle, because I think it would be a good way to get her more comfortable with encountering new areas and experiences while having to be out in front and in control of herself, more or less. She's almost never bothered by ANYTHING when I'm leading her places, which is fantastic, but having me up beside/in front of her doesn't recreate the experience of me being on her back, in the same way that driving her ahead of me might. So, I finally made it to the tack shop and got a cheap surcingle and a spare lunge line, and I hooked her up to a rope halter instead of her bridle in case things got really stupid. Didn't want her freaking out and stepping on a line and hurting her mouth, or something, since I had NO idea how she would react.










Here's how it played out, more or less:

Elle: Lunge lines! That means we're circling!
Me: No, we're not circling. Please walk straight.
Elle: Okay so we're... doing turns on the forehand!
Me: I mean, that's impressive and all, but no. Will you please just walk?
Elle: Does not compute. And you should have put more fly spray on me. STOMP, STOMP.
Me: Please walk.
Elle: Yes, but only VERY SHARPLY TO THE LEFT.
Me: Please straighten yourself out.
Elle: And now I turn VERY SHARPLY TO THE RIGHT.
Me: Great, slalom walking.
Elle: There are no cookies up here, you know.

Eventually we kind of, sort of, started to get the hang of it. I was able to move her around in the arena a bit. Then I walked her up the driveway a little ways, and back. At one point she got really frustrated, in the driveway, so I let her have a little grazing break and gave her a couple of cookies, and I steered her back towards home, then in through the open end of the indoor arena where we called it quits. She was a good sport, and I'm sure I was far more of the problem than she was!!


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## knightrider

SteadyOn said:


> Elle: Lunge lines! That means we're circling!
> Me: No, we're not circling. Please walk straight.
> Elle: Okay so we're... doing turns on the forehand!
> Me: I mean, that's impressive and all, but no. Will you please just walk?
> Elle: Does not compute. And you should have put more fly spray on me. STOMP, STOMP.
> Me: Please walk.
> Elle: Yes, but only VERY SHARPLY TO THE LEFT.
> Me: Please straighten yourself out.
> Elle: And now I turn VERY SHARPLY TO THE RIGHT.
> Me: Great, slalom walking.
> Elle: There are no cookies up here, you know.


This is hilarious! Thank you! You made my morning.


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## SteadyOn

I was absolutely exhausted last night, and it has still been HOT HOT HOT here this week! I did not expect to be able to ride last night, but wanted to go visit Elle anyhow, do her supplement cups for the week, give her a thorough grooming, and clean some tack, etc. But at the last second, I put my breeches on anyhow because it was better to have them on juuuuust in case.

Well, by the time I got to the barn it had cooled off a lot, and there was a bit of a breeze. I think it was around 22 or 23 degrees Celsius, with the humidex putting it closer to 30... but the breeze helped a LOT! So I opted to ride, and I'm glad I did.

Elle was wonderful!!! I mounted her in the indoor arena, then we walked out the open gates and checked out some other parts of the property, before going in to do ring work. We actually hacked out at a walk, just around the farm, for a good 15-20 minutes before entering the main arena. We rode around in the second, mostly unused outdoor arena first, and did a full loop around the outside of it (which is big for me, as there are sometimes deer in the trees near the far side of it). We also did a full loop around the outside of the main arena. Again, this took a bit of bravery as there's one corner where, even while in the ring, Elle can get a bit looky. But she was an absolute saint!! Relaxed head and neck carriage about 90% of the time. Nice floppy ears most of the time. I didn't feel like she was going to do anything sudden or stupid at any point! We even calmly crossed a muddy ditch a couple of times, with no hesitation, rushing, or flinging herself over it! All that work in hand is paying off!! I did keep a few fingers on the grab strap on my saddle most of the time, not so much because I thought she would do anything, really, but more because it's a bit like Dumbo's magic feather. I feel safer knowing it's there, even if I don't really need it.

I only did about 20 minutes of ring work, too, but it was great!! Really no complaints there. Although she seems determined to knock the single canter pole off the potty-risers every time we do a walk-pass over it before doing the "real" work. Note to self: never walk over the raised canter pole. Not worth it. However, it stayed in place enough that I was able to just go with it for our canter work. And I had previously set up a SECOND canter pole with it! Gasp!!! She seemed to find the second pole motivating, because when we did do the canter work over the poles, she nailed her distances, and stayed in canter every time. I apparently placed the second pole a bit far (I'm not experienced with setting up canter poles!!), so that second stride was always a doozy, but we kept right on going over it without hesitation. Also, my seat was better able to stick her bigger canter tonight, yay!

I also did some no-stirrups trot, which I really should be doing every ride. If I start to neglect it, I forget how important it is, and then when I start back at it, I kick myself for not doing it every time! When I'm riding before the no stirrups work, I feel like my stirrups are a bit long. After the no stirrups work, my stirrups feel too short! Really goes to show how much it stretches everything out and gets you sitting deeper. I do wish, though, that I could take the tension out of my neck, shoulders, and upper back while practicing without my stirrups. I know it's there, and no matter how much I will it to relax, I can't seem to get those muscles to let go. Hopefully that will come with time!

After the arena work, I hacked her out a little ways, again. She even tolerated the noise and commotion of the horses being let in from their paddocks for dinner, and didn't raise any objection. She wasn't as relaxed as she was at the beginning -- probably for that very reason -- but she was still great. I hopped off a bit early at a good place, gave her some cookies, and led her back for dinner and a good shower with some cold water from the hose. I didn't end up grooming her really at ALL, but I'm sure she felt good! I did manage to clean one of my saddles, her bridle, and her girth, so that was a win. Can't do all of it every time!!


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## SteadyOn

Have only ridden twice since the last update, but there were very similar to the last ride I posted about! Got some nice pics of her, after a ride last week, when she was startled by noises in the bush. Luckily I had already hopped off and was leading her at the time. She looks so elegant when she’s mildly terrified. 😂

















Proper update once I get some more rides in again! Today I’m out of town for the day — enjoying my first day off since early June!!


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## MeditativeRider

She does look beautiful in her alert pose. Hope you enjoy your day off!


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## SteadyOn

Well, yesterday should have been a riding day. But I had a last-minute meeting pop up at one of the co-op galleries where I'm a member. So that pushed things late, and by the time I got ot the barn, it was clear that stormy weather was about to roll in. I popped a rope halter on Elle, and started to take her out for a walk. I began with her in a pasture where a newish-to-the-barn mare has been getting turnout, and when I stopped to let her graze, she just snorted at the ground and then stuck her head in the air and flipped her lip. Thought maybe she was smelling pee or something from that mare, but she did the snorting-instead-of-grazing in another area of the property, too, so I wonder if her tummy was a bit off. Sometimes weather changes make her feel a bit funny.

She eventually did start snatching grass, but just as I was thinking of lunging her outside, it started to pooooouuuuur. I brought her into the indoor arena, and the rain was hitting the roof so hard that she was spooking in place and looking very worried. I got her going on the lunge line, and she did some pretty lazy trot and canter, so wasn't too worked up once she got going. She was looky at the open end of the arena and shied slightly a couple of times, but it was reassuring to see that, had I been aboard, it was nothing that I couldn't have just ridden through without getting unseated.

Once she got used to the rain I pulled an old tarp out, since outdoor walking wasn't going to happen, and riding wasn't going to happen. (The indoor is too full of hay bales right now to by much use for riding unless I only want to ride the equivalent of a lunge circle.) I had her walkover the tarp a few times, which doesn't bother her. I put the tarp on her, which definitely didn't bother her. She just looked at me like, "Really? Is that all you've got?" No one does "withering disappointment" face like this mare.










I also placed the tarp up over her head so that it was clocking her peripheral vision a bit, to see how she'd react. She was a bit... inconvenienced? But not afraid. Just shook her head a couple of times, basically shrugged, and walked along just fine.










The rain cleared up and I walked out to see a lovely rainbow. Tried to get a nice pic of her head with it in the background, but she had major pouty lip happening and my attempts were terrible.










Had to settle for this unicorn + rainbow pic instead! 🌈🦄


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## SteadyOn

Last night's ride was... honestly, pretty funny!!

When I got there, I grabbed her from the field. The ladies were still getting stalls and dinner ready for the horses, so Elle didn't get to have her dinner before I started to get her ready, and she was NOT impressed. Wiggling, and pawing every moment she could, and just generally being a pill in the cross-ties. I got her brushed, and saddled, and booted up, and by then her dinner was in her stall, so I relented and let her eat before her ride. Knew she would spend the entire time being HIGHLY OFFENDED that she didn't get her dinner first.

Now, the ladies that run the barn are great, but still a bit old school in some of their thinking. Elle doesn't eat anything rich or hard to digest, so I don't worry about waiting to ride her after her "grain" meals. (Which don't actually have any grain in them -- just alfalfa, plain beet pulp, a bit of omega 3 oil, and a very small scoop of vit/min balancer.) But they were tut-tutting about me riding her right after her dinner, so I swore I would do a very very long, slow warm-up before anything else. Just to appease them.

Just six weeks ago, Elle was so unused to being ridden outside the arena that even getting her up the driveway was an exercise in trying (and failing) to steel my nerves. But with weeks of hand-walking her all over the place (with cookies and grazing breaks as rewards for being "so brave!"), and riding her out away from the ring as her cool-down walk before hopping off and giving her cookies, she has become about 90% more chill about the experience. Instead of being SUPER CONCERNED, she reads more "interested" in what's around. I still do lots of check-ins (wiggling a rein or flapping the dressage whip in the air until she flicks an ear back) if her ears get a little too pricked and I think she might be getting anxious. I also still keep a few fingers on the grab strap of the saddle, as I suspect such a thing might have saved me in my only two falls from her, to date. Either way, it's still a "magic feather" that helps _me_ relax and keep going, too.

So, I mounted her in the ring but immediately rode her out around one of the paddocks (as the horses were all inside by then), where she bravely dealt with two dogs lurking in the shrubs. I have changed my strategy about things that _could_ startle her. Instead of avoiding them, we _attack_ them! Once she was aware of the dogs, I rode her straight towards them and we followed them a bit at a trot. Then we rode around a wet and mushy side of the barn that we've never ridden through before, and this horse who has always HATED water and squishy footing handled it like it was nothing. Didn't stop, didn't rush, didn't try to leap through it. Just plodded through. Past a tarp, too. Into another paddock we hadn't ridden through before, that was seriously overgrown. Did some trotting on a nice stretch of grass beside and around the outside of the main arena, too. Walked up the gravel drive a ways, then back to the main ring via a squishy stretch of overgrown grass beside the second outdoor arena, and bordered closely by trees where deer sometimes lurk. Then we cross a squishy ditch with visible water in it -- again, at a totally consistent pace!!!

Figured by then, we were good to do arena work, and I rode her towards the gate aaaaaand... she said NO THANK YOU. This horse that almost never says a hard NO. I was astonished, to say the least. Was this horse who normally treats being in the arena like having a security blanket... actually having FUN exploring outside?? This was nearly as big a 180 as the spin that dumped me in the grass last year. But thankfully not a LITERAL 180, hahahaha. Being nice wouldn't get her through the gate, so I had to resort to one good CRACK with the dressage whip (I think I can count on one hand the amount of times I've had to actually smack her like I meant it) and then did a lap of relaxed walk first so that she wasn't immediately working the second we were inside.

The ring work was pretty much business as usual. She got a little bit looky at one point and I didn't know why, but then realized that one of the dogs was lurking in the grass right at that side of the ring. Normally she would have had a bigger reaction to him, actually, so I was impressed yet again! Another pretty nifty moment was getting her to actually trot through a puddle along the track, in the ring, like it wasn't even there. Who is this horse??? Did I tack up the right one? Haha.

Ended with another walk out into the world, to cool down. There's a hill on the driveway that I call "cookie mountain" because she hates walking up it, but I give her cookies at the top!! I have never actually ridden her up it -- just hand-walked her a bunch of times -- but I rode her just a liiiiittle way up it last night before dismounting and leading her the rest of the way. We'll get there!


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## SteadyOn

Have had a few interesting rides recently. Last week I popped the jumping saddle back on Elle, and worked a bit on my two point, and on some canter poles. I VERY bravely (ha, ha) trotted a tiny crossrail a handful of times during those rides.

During the first of the two rides, I was having a heck of a time not getting yanked out of the saddle. I was giving a good release, but Elle was stretching too much and diving her head down on landing. Yuck. But on the second ride, I played with giving some half-halts on the way into the fence, and it eliminated the problem. I tried looking off towards another fence during the jump (not really with the intention of ridind her there, but trying and failing to influence the lead she would land on) and I found the mild distraction actually made the jump easier for me. Yay muscle memory! I might be up for actually cantering a jump sometime... well... eventually. Maybe soon? Maybe.

My two-point in canter wasn't actually all that bad on ride two, although I don't spend a lot of my time in two point while jumping. I prefer to be in a light three point and fold over the fence. Better control, and more room to give a proper release. Still, it's a handy skill to have. I did find myself REALLY bracing down into my right stirrup while cantering on a left lead in two-point. So that's... interesting. Obviously some asymmetry in my strength somewhere. Must work on that.

I had a biomechanics lesson on Monday morning and I feel like I was riding DREADFULLY. I know this instructor is a specialist and that I am literally paying her to nitpick everything I do, but... ouch. She also tries to get me to fix everything all at once, and as I have never been athletically gifted whatsoever, that's just not possible for me. Suck in your stomach, get your elbows back, get your armpits back, shorten the front of your body, keep your seatbones pointing straight down at all times no matter what, change the angle of your wrists, bend your right knee more, but don't lift your right leg, get less weight in your feet, put more weight on the backs of your thighs, engage your lower abdominals more... but don't be tense, hahahahahaha. It also didn't help that I had been for a 5km run the day before, and I had some muscle fatigue from that.

Speaking of the 5km run, that was my birthday present to myself. I had hoped to get up to a 10km run by now, but summer was brutal and I didn't have the energy or time to train for that. So I aimed for the more achievable 5km goal. Tomorrow is my 40th birthday, and I wanted to show myself that I was still fit enough for that!! However, in the video and photos from my ride on Monday, I was looking pretty thick... so I would still like to lose some weight. It's amazing how little weight and fitness have to do with each other. I'm actually a lot fitter than I was when I was much skinnier. I don't have a lot to lose, but I have a slight frame so every pound shows. Losing 10-15 would make a very noticeable difference on me.

I haven't ridden since Monday's somewhat awful lesson, but I look forward to just getting back on and having fun and not worrying too much. I know I'm not a bad rider and that she's trying to tweak things to make me better, but it does shake one's confidence slighly at times. Looking forward to playing with some of her suggestions, yes... but also just playing, period!!

As for Elle, she's looking good. Shiny new winter coat just starting to come in. She looks like she's dropped a little weight in the last couple of weeks, but not alarmingly so or anything. I think the drop in temperature, the grazing being not quite as good in her pasture, and her body using extra resources to grow her winter coat has had a bit of an impact. She has always run a bit lean, but hopefully she'll pack more back on once the barn puts round bales back out into the fields. Here's a pic from her this morning, after she snuck out of her open stall door to run out to the grass! Cheeky!!


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## whisperbaby22

I think you have to keep in mind that your instructor may be working on an ideal, and each living, moving entity will have variations, so don't be to hard on yourself. The instructor is trying to get to "perfect", getting close is what you succeed as. 

As for myself, an instructor would be horrified, but I consider myself a reasonably good rider, because in my old age I still ride regularly with no problem. In fact, if I can't ride for one reason or another I don't feel as good.


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## SteadyOn

whisperbaby22 said:


> I think you have to keep in mind that your instructor may be working on an ideal, and each living, moving entity will have variations, so don't be to hard on yourself. The instructor is trying to get to "perfect", getting close is what you succeed as.


Haha, thanks!! I'm usually better at taking it all in context / with a grain of salt, but was feeling really sensitive about it this week, for some reason. I sent my regular coach a text, thanking her for "not trying to fix me all at once!" She wrote back, "You're not that broken." Hahaha, phew!!


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## MeditativeRider

Happy birthday for tomorrow! I am also a Sept birthday but turned 41 this year. I definitely could not still run 5 km. So that is very well done. I have not done a lot of running in years but I am thinking about getting back in to it a little (maybe just walk/run intervals) because I cannot even keep up with my 8 year old when she decides to spontaneously take off when we are on a walk, and that is rather sad! I am finding this age tough in terms of the constant battle to keep up fitness, strength, flexibility, and not gain excess weight. I feel like nothing is connected and I have to work on each thing separately (focus on my strength too much and I get unfit and inflexible etc.).

Totally hear you on the all-at-once and everything-is-wrong corrections. It can be overwhelming. I know its hard not to take it on board too much, but just enjoy your riding and your horse.


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## SteadyOn

In addition to recent adventures and misadventures, detailed here...









A couple of knocks to my confidence!


Not serious ones... at least, I don't think so. But I've had a couple of less-than-stellar rides recently and I'm feeling, shall we say, humbled. About ten days ago, I had a lesson with a biomechanics instructor (my third or fourth with them, over the last eight months). This was on my horse...




www.horseforum.com





...I had a lesson back with my usual instructor yesterday morning! Hooray! She's also Elle's previous owner, so it's always good to get her eyes on how Elle is doing so I can be aware of any changes -- positive or negative. And as the person who has done 99% of the work to bring me along as a re-rider, the same thing goes for her feedback on me, and my changes!

Things have been going pretty well, over all, those weird rides aside. My confidence is better and I'm feeling much more relaxed. Elle has also been more relaxed. Which came first? Bit of both, I think. Hand-walking, then hacking, her around outside the ring has helped us both to worry less about stupid little distractions and what-ifs.

Actually, when my coach showed up, I was warming Elle up by riding her around on the grass outside the arenas, and I crossed a squelchy ditch three times to demonstrate how much better Elle had gotten about water! She now walks calmly through those ditches without breaking from a relaxed walk. Previously, she would have balked or rushed or even flung herself over them.

We did some extension and collection in trot to get Elle working more actively from behind. She's being a bit strung out in her movement -- she IS very long, and has always been a bit stiff -- so this helped get her using her back legs more mindfully. Lately she occasionally does a little trip with one of her back legs, though she never seems sore with it, and warms out of it fine. Our lesson largely focused on exercises to get her using her hind left more actively and gently working on its strength and flexibility.

I'm already forgetting a lot of what we did, heh, but there were lots of big canter circles, some work over a single canter pole, some flying changes across the diagonal. Also raised trot poles, and lots and lots of leg yield in trot, and in walk along the wall of the arena. Also turns on the forehand. And again, the goal in all this was to get those hand legs doing more and moving with more energy and intention.

I felt really "on." There were nice moments where I made considerable differences in how we were going by engaging my core at just the right moments. I remarked to my coach just how incredible it is that something so subtle makes such a huge difference -- and that it's almost scary, since it shows just how amazing it is that horses tolerate ANYTHING we do!! My canter seat was much better, I was letting her actually move out and forward and having a bigger stride -- without feeling too bounced. I have recently been riding a hole shorter than I was before, and I think that's keeping my leg back and under me, in a better place. My most obvious flaw is still keeping the left side of my upper body too far forward, compared to my right. I just seem to want to always be twisting right slightly from the waist up! It's better than it was, at least, but it's one more thing to work on. And at least I've stopped doing THESE hands that popped up a couple months ago in my canter! 😂 My coach said that's the only time she's seen me do THAT, thank goodness!!

From back in June:





Actually, interesting watching this now, because I feel (though I haven't videoed since) like we're going better generally, too. Watching this video, I can almost feel the stiffness in my back and seat, and it wasn't like that yesterday.

At the end of yesterday's lesson, I decided to try around-the-world for the first time in yeeeeears, and for my first time on Elle. When I was almost all the way back around, and had both feet on one side of her, I decided to push off that way to dismount... and had too much momentum and fell onto my hands and knees. Graceful!!! Leave it to me to fall while dismounting!


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## SteadyOn

Gorgeous night tonight!

Decided to pull out the jump saddle for the first time in a couple of weeks, and trot a couple of weeeee cross rails. They looked kind of like this (not me in the pic, obvs):










But for Elle, they were apparently this:










She has always loved to jump -- did six bar in her youth, actually! -- and while my last two rides playing with her over the crossrail did end with her landing in canter, tonight she was SUPER EXCITED about the whole thing, would ZOOM for the last couple of steps before the jump, then land in a very fast, unbalanced canter that I immediately shut her down from. I think she would have very happy Grand National-ed her way around every tiny jump in the arena, but doing anything even remotely resembling a course was right out, because she was absolutely ridiculous. So, one jump at a time. For now. Until they become a little more run-of-the-mill for her and she doesn't get so zooooooooooomy.

She came down nicely afterwards though, and we had a little uneventful cool-out hack over some lawn and down the driveway at the boarding barn. Note these perky ears, though!!


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## SteadyOn

Haven’t been riding quite as much as usual over the last couple of weeks, as two of our busiest weekends at our store run back to back. Thanksgiving weekend, and then a big local harvest festival -- the festival’s first time running since the pandemic began!

I had a lovely Monday morning ride, then cleaned some of my tack. It has been so dreadfully wet for so much of this year that the underside of my jump saddle has a mold problem that I haven’t been able to completely knock out. Cleaning it and then storing it outside for a few (sunny) days does a great job, but it inevitably comes back when I bring it back into the barn and the weather gets wet again. The next plan of attack is to get into it with a PH neutral cleaner and use a toothbrush to get into all the stitching and the coarser areas of leather. Sigh.

Got out again Wednesday night, and did lots of hacking around the property before and after doing some ring work. Elle continues to be a total champion about puddles -- though she’ll try to avoid ones that are small enough to step around easily. Well, fair enough, I guess.

At one point on the hack, though, we were coming up the driveway and one of the barn dogs was asleep on a big blue tarp. Seeing the potential for a spook, I called out to the dog as we approached him, and he popped his head up and looked at us. Elle walked on past him without seeming to care… then ten seconds AFTER, she did a sudden leap four feet to the right. Sigh. We did everything right… and she decided to spook as an afterthought?? Horses, man. She was over it just as quickly as it happened, and for once, so was I. Kept my seat and just shrugged it off and kept going. She doesn’t spook often, but occasionally she does like to remind me that she’s a horse.

This morning I squeezed a ride in before work. It was actually -1 C, and… gasp… SNOWING! Not much snow, but enough that everything looked like it had been sprinkled with icing sugar. Had to wear gloves for the first time in months! Whereas on Wednesday evening, I have been riding in a t-shirt! The ring was pretty wet, so we didn’t get a lot of canter work done, and we didn’t do our now-customary pre-ride hacking around. Still, got some nice trot work in, and a little canter in the dryer parts. Our canter transitions need some serious help. Her trot was good though. Got her lifting her back and reaching into the contact nicely, in the end. Did some clumsy work over raised poles… then not-so-clumsy work once she was moving well.

I had done some trotting without my stirrups the previous two rides, but today just warmed up in walk without them to lengthen and stretch my legs. No-stirrups work is always pretty critical for me, as my hips get tight and my leg gets short if I don’t keep it up. I also played with trying to find the right amount of weight to carry on the inside/back of my thighs, relative to our bend and direction and speed, etc. I think I’m putting too much weight on my left and not enough on my right, on a left rein, which is causing me to brace into my right stirrup instead of taking some weight on that side on my thigh. It’s a work in progress -- like everything.

Tried to walk around on the grass a little at the end of the ride, but Elle didn’t think too much of the white stuff. I hear ya, pony.


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## MeditativeRider

Well done riding in the snow (even if it is light that would totally put me off), and for riding on happily after the spook.

Canter transitions, don't worry you are not the only one. The horse I was riding in lessons most recently, our canter transitions together were such a mess and were starting to make me question everything. Then I have not ridden at all since then, so I am now anxious that I won't be able to get canter when I ride again (who knows when that will be as no one in my area has a horse + appropriate coach for me).

I really enjoy reading your posts. Elle is very photogenic and your riding life sounds lovely to me and also something achievable, so it gives me hope/goals for future riding.


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## whisperbaby22

Yea, lovely photo, that looks like so much fun.


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## SteadyOn

A few ups and downs lately...

I posted a week and a half or so ago about Elle being a little off the day she got all four shoes taken off. And like... fair. She seemed right as rain by just three days later, so that was a huge relief! And she was completely fine and happy -- possibly happier, even -- with the shoes off. We had some great rides, still able to use the outdoor arena. She was a total rock star. Until Friday. (Today being Sunday.)

I had to work with her in the (very tiny) indoor arena, as it was after dark, and cold, and windy, and rainy. I didn't plan to ride as I wanted to take a few sessions to just longe and free-longe her in there, to get her used to the space and the footing again. Walked her around a few minutes, then just stood with her until she relaxed a bit, then sent her out to free lunge her a little, starting in trot. She was on the pokey side though, and I didn't feel like running around a whole lot myself to make her go, so I popped her on the actual longe line. She seemed a bit stiff, but she often does until she's had a chance to get moving well. However, when I popped her up into canter, while she was okay to the left, she was absolutely dreadful on the right lead. Obviously protecting her hind right, and either putting both hind feet down at once, or swapping her back leads and stepping short with that leg.

This is actually exactly what she was doing the day her shoes came off -- that later resolved itself completely -- but this looked more like it might have been happening higher up. Hmmmm. I finished, hand-walked her a bunch, put her away, treated her feet for thrush (which I had totally under control until this last couple of weeks, with the foot of the lame leg now being the thrushiest). Gave her cookies. And went out again last night.

So last night, I set a timer and did a full twenty minutes of hand-walking her before I asked her for anything else. I wanted to rule out the possibility that she was just stiff from being in her stall. Just walking for 20 minutes in a tiny indoor arena feels... looooong, let me tell you, haha. I slipped her an occasional cookie to keep us both from getting too bored! Then I popped her on the line again. I lunged her thoroughly to the left first, to give her a chance to really warm up on the easier side for her, before I asked her to go to the right. It was actually immediately apparently, even in walk, that her whole hind right was very stiff all the way up to the hip. She was swinging it forward rather than bending much through it, and landing short and stabbing toe first. With lots and lots of consistent trot, she improved drastically. And her canter on that side looked pretty good. And her trot improved after a little canter work to loosen her up.

To the right, her trot wasn't too bad (though visibly a bit off) but her canter was still obviously awkward for her. The good news is that she didn't bunny hop or swap leads. She cantered correctly -- but stiffly, and a bit short, again, with that hind right.

Here's how she looked:






My longeing skills are better when I'm not also trying to film, by the way -- and when my horse isn't lame. 😬 

I mean, it's not _dreadful_, but it is concerning. The fact that she was noticeably improved in just one day is a good thing -- but again, I did give her a better warm-up. I talked to my coach/her old owner, and we agree that we'll give her this week off riding, and give her daily Bute for four or five days, and just give her 20 minute daily hand-walks to keep her moving. And keep aggressively treating that thrush, in case that's the source of the pain. I've never seen her be ouchy from thrush, but then again, with the shoes off and her frogs that much closer to the ground now, and the change of footing from something firm to deeper sand, it's entirely possible that the thrush is making her stiffen up her whole leg to compensate. And this is why hind-leg lameness is the hardest to figure out -- you just absolutely cannot visualize the source!! Yes she's being stiff in her hip, which could mean the hip is the problem, but that could also be to compensate for a problem literally anywhere. Sigh!!

I mean, she is 24. I've been very lucky so far. I'm just 40 and I still have random inexplicable pains from... like... sleeping wrong. Bodies!! Anyhow, fingers crossed for this to just be a blip. We'll seeeee!!!!


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## SteadyOn

Just for comparison, here's how she was looking last Tuesday. It was my last ride on her before I went up Friday and discovered her looking so off! The flying changes are delayed because we had NOT been practicing them, but ignoring that we're fighting each other a bit to get them, you can at least see that her canter was pretty steady both ways. (_I_ was actually quite stiff that day, heh.)






I went out yesterday and hand-walked her a bunch, and trotted her up the driveway and a little bit on the lunge line just to see if she was moving any better. The outdoor footing was no great shakes, but she really is happier and more forward outside, so I figured it would give a more accurate read of things.

Trotting in hand yesterday (not the most helpful video, but at least she was perkier than the other night!) :






Trotting on the longe was useless because she was pretty pokey and more interested in trying to snatch grass than in going forward, so I won't bother posting that. She was slow and not tracking up, but she seemed more even in her steps and like she was bending her legs more. Change in the right direction, at least.


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## SteadyOn

I'm wiped tonight, and don't feel like doing a long update, but I have good news!!!!

Elle is herself again! It was a blip. Thank goodness. I went out Wednesday night, gave her a really long in-hand warm-up, then lunged and free-lunged her, and she was limber and forward and happy. I even set up a slightly raised pole just to give her something to do, and she was SAILING over it. I cooled her out by hopping on her bareback for the first time, and just walked around like that. It was my first time bareback in over 20 years!! She's comfier than I expected, but also VERY slippery, wow.

Tonight I rode her and then free-lunged her again, and she felt perfectly normal under saddle, and then flew around the arena when I turned her loose, with very little input from me! I just stood in the centre, watching her self-lunge over a tiny bounce I set up for her. She LOOOOOOOOOOOOVES to jump, so if I want to see how she's actually moving (without her being tuned out and bored) a small obstacle or two are the best way.

She looked frickin' great. Phew!!!!!

I was having some absolutely AWFUL PMS this week and that may have contributed to my doom and gloom worries about her being stiff for a few days. Very happy to be able to say I was overreacting!! Pheeeewwwwwww!!!!


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## SteadyOn

Yesterday was interesting! I had the equine chiropractor out for Elle for the first time. Well, my first time ever having one out for a horse. Not her first time, but I don't think she'd been done since 2018. She's been moving normally again -- huuuuuge sigh of relief -- but her stiffness for those few days was my kick in the pants to finally have her looked at.

I didn't know what time the chiro was coming out, and I had the day off, so I went to the barn early and kind of messed about. When I got there, one of the geldings had gotten loose, and the other one in his paddock was absolutely beside himself. I popped the loose gelding back in... and the frantic one took that opportunity to escape. The frantic gelding was Parker, the now-five-year-old I used to ride sometimes. Once I caught him, I decided he just had way too much energy and needed to run some off, somewhere less icy, and I brought him inside to the indoor and "lunged" him. I say "lunged" because I had him on the line but he just ripped around like a madman with little input from me!! He's normally dreadfully pokey on the lunge line, but not yesterday!! Once he had burned off a bit of steam, I set up a small jump, and then some raised trot poles, before cooling him down and putting him back out.

By the time that was all done, I was still nice and early to get Elle and get her groomed and warmed up.. or so I thought. But the barn owner came out SUPER early to bring in and feed, and needed my help wrangling the momma horse and filly inside, and by the time everyone was in, Elle was in the middle of her dinner and barely groomed before the chiro showed up. Sigh. At least she had been outside moving around, and was blanketed, so she was warm and hadn't been standing stiff in a stall all day. But figures that the one time I'm HOURS early something happens to make me "late" for the appointment.

Anyhow, the chiropractor was pretty young but she obviously knew her stuff. She didn't want to get super aggressive with adjusting Elle, given Elle's age (24), which was fine by me. She started at the head and worked her way back. Elle had some tenderness in the muscles between her lower jaws, which isn't surprising given she has a slant mouth. She was also a little tight flexing left at the poll, and flexing left at the base of the neck. The only "crack" that happened was actually flexing her head and neck left! Elle had some good licks and chews, and then was flexing her own head back around to the left -- either to feel out the improved range of motion, or, more likely, to stare back at her half-finished dinner in longing. There was some slight tenderness in her mid and lower back, just in front of her hips, but nothing much. The chiro wasn't that concerned by it. Elle is pretty long-backed so that might be a contributing factor. There was some stiffness in her hocks, but we already knew that, too.

Over all she said she's in great shape for her age, and has obviously been well taken care of in her life and not over-used. She said her condition was comparable to a lot of ten year olds she sees! Her recommendations were to make sure she has a solid 15 minutes of walk warm-up on cold days, and that we might want to find a way to wrap heating pads on the fronts of her hocks before riding, just to help loosen them up even more, if possible. And to do carrot stretches, especially around to the left. She said she doesn't think hock injections are something I need to consider yet.

As far as moving forward, she said if I want to have her back out, to maybe just do it every couple of months as a maintenance thing. But that there's no real continuous "work" to do. Cool!! The golden oldie is still golden!!


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## SteadyOn

I've had two rides since my last post. Elle has continued to feel like herself, thank goodness! I also failed to mention that the hock on the affected leg did seem a bit more swollen than usual at the time of the off-ness, and a bit warm, so I think she may have tweaked it a bit, in hindsight. It's always hard to say about these things, at the time, because she has a collection of windpuffs and soft swellings here and there that can change depending on activity/weather/Mercury in retrograde (haha)/who knows, so I don't always read into them. But last night I noticed that that same hock felt cool and tight, even after our workout. Excellent!!!

The indoor arena is honestly pretty frustrating to try to use right now. It's pretty tiny to begin with, but now all the hay for the winter is being stored inside it. SO MUCH hay. I don't know why this is an issue now, when they must have figured out somewhere else to store at least SOME of it, the last two winters. But whatever the reason, almost 1/3 of the teeny tiny arena is now hay. So. Not very fun to work in there, and not the easiest for the horses, either. Luckily Elle's dressage training has meant she's pretty balanced through all her turns, so she has less trouble with it than many horses would, I think, even at her age.

I decided pretty early on, with this winter approaching, that I was going to go into it with a different plan/attitude. I decided to change my expectations. Because previously, I would so often go out there to ride in the winter and have something screw up my plans. Snow would be crashing off the roof (although it makes me spook more than Elle!), or cats would be fighting in there, or wind and sleet would be blowing through. Or snowmobiles revving up the trail on the neighbour's property. All of which were pretty good disincentives to ride! My new attitude is to ride if I feel comfortable, or just do groundwork and free longeing if I don't. As long as I'm riding often enough to not lose all my riding fitness over the winter, it'll be enough. And I can use this opportunity to work on Elle's topline, and give her a fun change of pace, by free-longeing her through little gymnastic setups.

In fact, the last two rides (following our prescribed 15 minute walk warmup), I only actually rode some trot and canter for about 15 minutes -- just enough to work on myself a bit -- before I hopped off and untacked her. I set up a little bounce for her along one of the long sides. I just used pylons to raise the ends of the poles at the inside of the ring, and left them at ground level along the wall. This way, while she is more or less forced to go over them, she can choose whether she jumps them or just steps over them. That way she's setting the pace, and I can see if she's feeling good or not. The last two times I did this, she was BLASTING around and flying over them with very little input from me!! So that's great!

My coach thinks her topline looks pretty good, especially for an old girl, but she is a bit hollow behind her shoulders, just past her withers, and that some jumping work could help fill that in. I want to do this without any tack on just to make sure there's not interference from the saddle as it develops. I also think that free longeing will be great for the old girl, to let her stretch out and limber up. She's so much more forward and happy when she's off the line and has some freedom to rocket around!! Elle and I both hate working in that indoor, so hopefully this will make the winter much more pleasant for us both!!

Here's a pic (from before the snow, sigh!) showing the hollows I mean. Will be interesting to see if they fill in it all. I mean they're not _bad_ but I'm always trying to optimize her health!


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## Knave

I just saw this! Subbing and coming back to read later.


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## SteadyOn

Had a lesson on Elle this morning, with my regular coach / her old owner. She said Elle is moving even better than she was during our last lesson, which was... six weeks or so ago? So, she's definitely over whatever was making her off in the back end for those few days. And maybe (hopefully!) the bodywork on her helped a bit, too.

We worked on getting and keeping her forward, getting her reaching more with her hind left (which is the one she's usually not quite tracking up with through turns, even though it's the hind right she was off on recently). Lots of transitions today! Trot, walk, trot, halt, reverse, walk, trot, etc. Some canter--halt--canter, too! Although we do need a few walk steps before canter. Or at least, I do, haha. But not bad, considering we've been slack on practicing this stuff. She really had no notes on my position today -- everything was looking pretty good, I guess! She had to ask me to bring my left shoulder back just once, which isn't too bad for me. It's a chronic problem!

She also said again how impressed she was with the work I did on getting her to walk calmly through puddles and ditches, and how much calmer she is in general about being ridden "out" alone. (I can't get far from the barn at this place, as there are no trails to speak of, but I still did expand her comfort zone a lot this season.)


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## SteadyOn

Had a VERY brief ride tonight before deciding that the high winds whipping snow around the sides and roof of the indoor, and the sounds of snowmobiles roaring past, was going to make us both way too tense. Instead, I hopped off, lunged Elle with a neck-stretcher (bungee reins that go over the poll, through the bit, and clip to the girth buckles), which is good exercise for her... Although it is NOT her favourite thing, and we hadn't done it in ages, and it made her so mad that she kicked out a few times in canter. Oh dear! 😄

I rewarded her for that unpleasantness by setting up a little obstacle course of improvised bounces. Gave her a chance to stretch out, and to focus on a task she enjoys!!

Hard to believe this is the same horse who was hobbling around stiff just a few weeks ago. And that she'll be turning 25 in the spring!

Suuuuuuuuuch a relief to see her looking so much more limber again!!






(Yes she cross-fires a couple of times, but she's pretty out of practice with gymnastics!!)


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## whisperbaby22

She looks great.


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## SteadyOn

Last night was my first ride since my lesson over a week ago. Well, my first ride other than sitting on her for five minutes the other night, before deciding I was too tense!

Unfortunately I only got about 15 minutes into riding before being suddenly hit, right after my first laps of canter, with a splitting headache. Like, see-through-time kind of "am I gonna die" kind of headache. I've only had a few migraines in my life, and I was worried this would escalate into one. I pushed through and did a few laps of canter the other direction, to keep the workout even for both of us, then hopped off and took my helmet off and walked around a bit with Elle and it thankfully started to subside. (My helmet is normally really comfortable, so I don't think it was responsible -- more likely me not having dinner before riding!)

Before the ride, I made a really cool and funny discovery. I was rubbing some detangler deep into Elle's forelock, because I noticed most of the breakage in it seemed to be along the sides of it, right near the roots. And she MELTED. I have known this horse very well of over six years, and somehow had never discovered this magical button. She is normally pretty indifferent to any kind of petting and scratches -- tolerant, but "meh" -- but she softened her whole expression, lowered her head, and her lower lip slowly wiggled a bit. You could tell she was in total bliss.

So, fast forwarding again to me having hopped off... I untacked her in the ring and planned to free-lunge her, which I did a bit... but she kept coming into the middle to see me, and beg for more rubs. She was very relaxed but very pokey last night, so not in the mood to run around, clearly. I compromised and spent as much time rubbing her as I did sending her back out for a few laps. At the end of the workout I just stood with her in the middle, rubbing that area, and she dropped her head and half-closed her eyes and kind of tucked her whole head up under the elbow of the arm I was using. She is NEVER snuggly, so it was pretty amazing!!

Afterwards though, I had to be a total jerk... and give her dewormer. Awww.  I had it inside my coat for about 20 minutes before jamming it in her mouth, at least, so it wasn't ice cold on top of being yucky. This is what she thought of the experience.










Sulking in the far corner, avoiding eye contact. Awwwww. I tried to give her some cookies but either she wasn't emotionally ready for them yet, LOL, or didn't find them appealing with the taste in her mouth. Fortunately, before I left, she did come back over for some sweet sweet forelock rubs! Hopefully she forgives me.


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## knightrider

Of course she will forgive you! You know she will!


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## SteadyOn

Gosh, been a while, huh? I'm finding winter riding, in our tiny indoor, dreadfully boring. And so is Elle. I've been keeping up with it, but not much new, at all, to report. I suppose no news is good news sometimes though??

In the meantime, just to let everyone know we're still alive here, here are some photos of Elle. Still doin' her thing. Bit stiff this time of year, which is kind of fair for a horse turning 25. But still chugging along well and looking good. I suspect a lot of the stiffness is, ah, mental, and will melt away once we're outside again and she's not bored... well, stiff. Literally.


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## whisperbaby22

You're not alone. It's been one thing after another all winter keeping me off the trails. Now for the past few weeks we have been having desert winds, the humidity is so low that doing anything is out of the question. And now a heat wave, the super bowl is being played this sunday, and we may have some heat related health problems.


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## MeditativeRider

She looks so happy to be jumping. That is such a lovely photo.


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## SteadyOn

Still not riding much. I rode for a bit last Tuesday, but it has just been too darn cold!!!

Saturday I went out to see Elle. They had been inside all day because there was a ton of ice and snow everywhere, and it was -17 C (about 1 F!). I decided to just hand-walk her outside, but she was super distracted and jiggy-joggy. So funny to see her hyper when she's usually so chill. I decided she probably needed to blow off some steam in the indoor. And... yeah. Hahahaha. Watch with audio on:






You can see her take a cooouuuple of funky steps with her hind right foot but... inside all day, brutally cold, so yeah. Not too worried about that in a 25 year old horse, especially when SHE obviously wasn't worried about it!! Silly girl. Usually I have to nag her to GO, not nag her to stop!! She did warm out of that completely and was moving great, and I eventually sent her over a little jump (that she jumped like a BIG jump!) to give her something to channel that energy!

I'm really enjoying the not-riding stuff this season, too. I went into this winter telling myself it was fine if I didn't ride much and worked on doing more to play with her -- and some low jumps and gymnastics to help her topline and keep her lifting everywhere. She's definitely going to come out of this season in far better shape than me!!


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## SteadyOn

Well, as I said in the previous post.... I'm enjoying the not-riding stuff. Which is good because this winter has been pretty lousy for riding. I haven't ridden since Tuesday (and Sunday was my first visit to her since then). The weather has been awful. Sunday, when I went, the wind was howling, snow was crashing off the roof, and it would have been a nerve-wracking and spooky kind of a ride so I'm glad I didn't bother saddling up. I free-lunged her and sent her over some jumps, which she always enjoys. And it's fun for me to direct her. Today I was supposed to go out there, and it's the only day all week that isn't brutally cold... but they're calling for freezing rain all day and the driving isn't safe for it. So, again, I have to skip.

I am desperately counting down the weeks to milder weather and riding outside. Elle gets to a point in the season where she's just DONE with being ridden in the tiny indoor, and I can't blame her. It's a tight space. It's a bit echo-y. The doors rattle in the wind, snow slides off the roof in loud clumps, and cats run in and out of the hay bales. None of these things on their own usually spook her, but they can add up to a spook if enough is going on at once. And then that makes me tense. And makes her more tense. And then neither one of us enjoys the ride. I also run out of ideas in there. The outdoor ring is HUGE in comparison, plus we can walk around the property and up and down the driveway. And she pretty well never spooks at anything in the outdoor ring, and very little outside of it, either.

But in the meantime... yuck.

I'm also having some background stress over some political divides in the local horse community. I won't get into any specifics here because I know politics is off-limits (a very wise rule, really) but I'm seeing some very smart people I'm close with in the horse community get onside with some very disturbing ideology. It's calming down a bit but it's made me feel queasy over the last few weeks. I'm normally one to speak my mind but I find myself biting my tongue for fear of alienating myself, and it feels cowardly and awful.

The GOOD news is -- assuming I haven't been scammed, of course 😬 -- I have just bought a new-to-me, barely used dressage saddle!! Should be shipping out today, in fact. (I paid for it through PayPal, which means that if I HAVE been scammed I have protection.) I have no reason to think it's not legit, though. It's a Santa Cruz Alissa with an adjustable tree. Elle is usually pretty easy to fit, and she's been ridden in Santa Cruz before, so I'm preeeeetty sure it'll work well! It has six or seven gullet width options. As much as I don't want to think about a post-Elle time, investing in an adjustable saddle seems like a wise move for the long term. I've been fighting with my current saddle, an old Barnsby that came cheaply with her, for too long. I feel like I can't progress any farther in that saddle. I miss the Santa Cruz I rode in a few years back, that really helped open my hip angle. This one looks like it will really allow me to get my leg where I want it. I also like that it doesn't have HUGE thigh blocks! I want my saddle to _suggest_ the right position to me, not lock me in!

Here she is: 😍










In the meantime, work and money stress has been pretty unreal. It will all get better soon, but it's quite the hill to climb! Have to finish getting my business ready to reopen, and it's all dragging on a lot longer than I had hoped. But once things get rolling, and some money starts coming in again, a lot of the pressure should let up. Phew!!!!!


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## MeditativeRider

Pretty saddle. Hope it arrives safely.

Sorry you are tired of being stuck inside. That does sound stressful. In comparison, people who complain about weather in southern NZ in the winter don't know anything because you could still ride outside for the vast majority of it as long as you have somewhere mud free (winter is mainly we rather than super cold).

It is a divisive and weird time in the world. I did not say anything in a situation recently because I did not want to create conflict in an otherwise good relationship. In retrospect I kind of wish I did because it is something that really matters to our family, but then I don't think it would be well received at the other end. So I understand how you feel


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## SteadyOn

So, the saddle arrived safely, on Friday! It was a close thing though... the tape came open on the bottom of the box at some point during shipping. 😬 Luckily the saddle wasn't damaged, but also, the little wooden box that has all the gullet adjustments in it did not fall out!! Yiiiikes, that could have been bad. This saddle would have been useless to me without that, as it had a wide in it and I needed the medium. And I have no idea if the kits are sold on their own. But thankfully, crisis averted!!!

I've been craaazy busy getting my business ready for reopening, but we managed it! Reopened yesterday and did some business. I was so exhausted I laid down to almost-nap twice. I hate naps, but I still needed rest. Went out for dinner and then came home and just wasted time on my phone until actual bedtime.

Today was my first chance to go and try out the saddle. Unfortunately there were awful gusting winds blowing up randomly and shaking the entire indoor arena. Elle seemed "meh" about it, but I know her enough to know that even if she doesn't spook _at_ the thing, she'll act all right and be more easily set off by something minor during the ride, if there's background tension. So I lunged her at the walk warm her up and then only rode for maybe 10 minutes. Just long enough to feel the saddle!! She did one minor spook but otherwise kept it together. I mean, she usually does keep it together. I'm just a worrier. But yeah, the winds were BIG and BAD, so why tempt fate?

Anyhow, the saddle!!! Man, I KNEW the position problems I've been having weren't just me!! What a relief to sit in something that suited me better. Immediately my leg was hanging longer, with a more open hip, and I was following the motion so much better! I should probably shorten my stirrups by a hole for my next ride, but even though they were too long they felt fine, really. In my previous saddle no length felt right. I played with it so often but never felt supported the way I wanted to be.

I'm certainly no saddle fitting expert, haaaaa, to put it mildly, but I can at least typically tell if there are glaring problems!! Nothing was a red flag in the fit. The channel width was better for Elle than the previous saddle. I could see daylight all along it, even with it girthed up. The panels seemed to be in even contact from front to back. Good angle for her shoulders. I had initially though I would need a medium-wide for her but the wide had looked SO wide that I went straight to the medium, and I'm glad I did. If anything it might still be a haaaaair wide. But I can't fathom a warmblood needing a medium-narrow. She's not a waif. Weird. But from what I can tell, my only slight concern is that I would like a tooouuuch more vertical wither clearance, but it does HAVE clearance for sure. I'll keep an eye on that. I think part of the problem was having the saddle a little too far forward during the test ride. After I hopped off, I played with the position more, and girthed her up with no pads, etc., and I could see all along from front to back with no issue. She was really bloated and gassy today -- she took a big dump in the cross ties after the ride, and then spent five minutes yawning and farting, lovely -- so I don't think that was helping anything. She has a sloping shoulder and a very far forward girth groove, so even with a Total Saddle Fit girth, it's hard to keep anything far enough back on her -- especially when she's rocking a bigger-than-usual pot belly. To anyone obsessed with horses having a "big sloping shoulder," take note. 🙄

Here it was in the during-the-ride position:










Here it was when I shifted it back (note Miss bloaty tummy, apparently full of farts):










And here it was with no pads:










Honestly I think, based on my very brief, tense ride in it (haha, ugh), it's the most "me" saddle I've ridden in. I'll have the fit double-checked my coach in a few weeks, but fingers crossed that it's good to go!!!!


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## whisperbaby22

Good, it looks fine.


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## SteadyOn

Well... update: I could cry. Tried it again last night, for a longer ride, and... it doesn't fit her. It seems good from the ground. Seems good when you first mount up, but as the ride progresses is shift forwards and down and presses on her withers. Just not enough clearance. And while a nice wide channel is normally a GOOD thing, in her case because she doesn't have much muscling either side of her withers, it just lets everything settle that much lower. Would be perfect on a broad-backed horse with low-to-moderate withers. An absolute dream for a horse of that build. Gullet adjustments even go all the way up to XX-wide!! I'll have to resell.

To insult to injury (or injury to insult?), the ends of the billets got nibbled by one of the barn cats between when I last saw it Sunday and when I got there last night. Must have happened when my part boarder had it sitting out to be tacked up. Innocent mistake I am SURE, but like... of COURSE. I have to resell it now and, even though it's just super light cosmetic marks, it's something I'll have to disclose. Frig!!! I'll see if wetting the leather and buffing the marks helps minimize them. I don't think they'd be a big deal to most people but it's still just... ugh!!!!!

Anyhow, my bad luck seems to persist. Sigh.


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## SteadyOn

So, now I'm trying to decide what to do. I've been told I might be able to actually have it reflocked to fit, which sounds great if possible, because I love how the saddle fits ME and I feel like higher, firmer flocking would likely fix the problem. Hmmm. But the fitting consultation alone is $175 and then there's the price of whatever needs to be done, IF anything can be done. Is it good money after bad?? Sigh. Luckily the little kitty tooth marks seem to have buffed out a bit. They seem like way less of a big deal now. I think a few more tries of dampening them and letting them plump up a bit, then burnishing the surface, will mostly eliminate them.

Last night I went out to ride, and while there was nothing stopping me this time, really, I CHOSE not to ride in the moment because I decided neither Elle nor I needed the pressure right now. I took her for a short walk outside, then brought her inside and let her have a little wander in the indoor, snort at things, pick at hay, etc. Then free-lunged her. She seemed stiff and unmotivated at first, and watching her shuffle along in the world's saddest, slowest jog, I thought, oh geez girl maybe you do want to retire soon. But then I asked for canter and she did a couple of big buck-farts, and started absolutely BURNING around the arena, and I thought, "well, never mind!"

Set up a little bounce arrangement for her and she zoooooomed around flying over it a bunch in either direction. She was playfully uncooperative a few times, trying to switch back and change direction. I think being "bad" sometimes gives her a little thrill. I don't really mind as long as it's harmless!

She was sucky and snuggly afterwards, and was much more into getting scratches and hanging out close to me than in seeking out the hay stored in there. She may be a "pocket pony" yet!! Who knows.


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## SteadyOn

So, the new saddle has been sitting on the back of my office chair while I ponder my next move. 😆 And the more I look at it with the medium gullet adjustment, the more it just looks SO darn wide. It's easy enough to swap out, so I just now popped the narrow setting in. Figure that's my Hail Mary pass with it. I can't fathom Elle taking a narrow, but it's all relative... I just wish there was a setting between narrow and medium for this thing, but all the options are just increasing degrees of wide. Will bring this up to pop onto her, next visit, and see how it looks. I'm sure it won't work. But at least then I'll know I tried.

Yesterday I went out to ride, but there was a TON of snow load on the roof and I find the "what ifs" of that make it hard to concentrate. And Elle just felt distracted and I was getting frustrated. I only actually rode her for 12 minutes before hopping off and setting up bounces again to send her over. And it's probably a good thing I hopped off when I did, because shortly after, one of the new barn cats came BLASTING in the far door of the arena as Elle was coming around that corner, and spooked the bejeezus out of her. Can't blame her, yikes, but I'm glad I wasn't aboard for that.

As much as I like it there in so many ways -- and it is definitely the most affordable indoor board option in my area -- I'm not sure I can face another winter in that particular indoor arena. It's such a bummer to ride in there that I don't enjoy myself at all. Fortunately I've got all the way until the fall to decide what to do about that, at this point in the season. Somewhere with a less treacherous indoor arena, and maybe some back roads and trails for outside riding, would be wonderful. I'd feel bad taking her away from my AMAZING part boarder, but ultimately she's my horse and I do have to put my needs first. We'll see, we'll see...


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## SteadyOn

Well, I tried the saddle on Elle last night with the narrow gullet setting... and... it was better!!! Much better wither clearance and it wasn't being pulled forward and down so much. I can't tell if there's enough shoulder clearance though. This is where I really need a professional eye. I should get my coach to check it out, but I don't want to schedule a lesson while the weather is so unpredictable. The indoor arena is currently so dusty, too, that I come out of there looking like I've been riding in a sandstorm. Not great!!! Wasn't a problem in the cold weather, but now that things are above zero more often, the dust in the footing is flying free, I guess.

Elle continues to begrudge her rides in the indoor. It doesn't help that the new foster barn cat is still hanging out in there. Last night, before I got on, there was a loud BANG CRASH from the door that spooked Elle a bit, as the new cat blasted into the ring, being chased by a small barking dog who also crashed through the door, followed by the BO yelling "Door!" and then coming in and apologizing profusely. The little dog wouldn't leave the arena, then, and was creeping around the round bales by the mounting block, wuffing and fussing. Not a relaxing experience!!!

I just rode for about 10 minutes to try Elle in the saddle. It felt better on this setting from the saddle, too. She was pretty stiff and unwilling though, and I have no way of knowing if the saddle was impinging at all or if my tension + her mood was the problem. I got off and lunged her both with and without the saddle to see if she moved differently. The trouble is, she warmed up a lot, so I couldn't say if she actually moved more willingly without the saddle, or if she just got more limber. Her lungeing session was longer than usual because I wanted to really see her move, so by the end she had this huge elastic walk as I cooled her out! Note to self: work her harder and longer more often. It does her old body good!

In the meantime, the new saddle will sit on a stand in my office at home until I can get my coach, or someone, to look at it on her. There's no rush to deal with it, so no reason to stress, I need to remind myself.


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## SteadyOn

Well, it took a bit, but... I think I'm out of my slump, and starting to find my fun again in riding. The sun is out more, my SAD is lifting, the snow is starting to melt, and I'm not constantly in fear of the snow load on the arena roof because there isn't any!! Wednesday of last week I had a really nice, straightforward, super pleasant ride and nothing went wrong. Finally!!!!

Then, recently, the bareback pad I had ordered during Boxing Week came back into stock. Finally! I had tried Elle bareback just once, back before Christmas, and while it was really fun to finally sit on her that way, I wasn't brave enough to do more than walk around for a few minutes because she was SLICK! But this Sunday I went out, with no real agenda, just to have a visit with her, and maaaaybe ride, and try the pad on her while I was there. Well, I put it on and it seemed to fit... so I got excited and just HAD to try it!

There was a fair bit of activity in the barn, and Elle had been inside all day with no chance to get any wiggles out, but I didn't let my nerves get the upper hand, and I hopped on and went walking around in the arena -- with the door open to the active barn and everything. Well, everything felt so good that I tried a bit of trot and canter with it, too! I had one hand on the grab strap the whole time just in case, but I never wound up needing it. I already did a review of the pad in another post, but I'm thrilled with it, in short. And I think it's going to do good things for my seat and my confidence -- and my trust in myself and Elle! After that quick ride, I lunged her to let her stretch a little and she got some bucks and sillies out, so she was indeed holding it together for me for the ride. She's a good girl. 💕 

Yesterday I went out and had a nice, full morning at the barn as I had the day off and it was gorgeous out. Took Elle for a walk, then rode her in my dressage saddle (the old one -- the new one is parked at home until a fitter can look at it) and I was immediately struck with how different my position felt after ONE ride with the bareback pad. My legs wanted to be back under me more, which was a good thing, and my hips felt more open. I also felt laughably secure in the saddle compared to the feeling of bareback, so I wasn't overthinking the possibility that she COULD spook at something. (And she didn't. She almost never does, which makes my anxiety all the stranger.) After a nice ride in the saddle, doing some trot and canter poles (and all our canter pole work had the right distance except one lap!), I took the saddle off and popped the bareback pad on. It was mainly to cool out, but I tried a couple laps of trot and a couple of canter circles. I only felt very slightly unbalanced on one of the canter circles to the right. Other than that, no problem! The bareback pad has me really excited and has brought back a sense of fun that's been lacking lately. Not Elle's fault -- just winter and life and stress and whatnot. It's so nice to have something that makes me go "wheeeee!!!!!" again!!

Also, check out these footprints from Elle's walk. Her back print was over-tracking her front by THAT MUCH! Wow! Still darn limber for an old girl!


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## SteadyOn

Oh dear, haven't been updating here much because I've been doing posts in other threads!

A brief recap of recent/current events:

-Still enjoying the bareback pad, and have actually been using it a bit more often than the saddle.
-I'm actually finding, though, that the bareback pad is making me recognize even more just how much I don't feel right in my current (old) dressage saddle. Still really want to get a saddle fitter up to see if the new one (currently sitting in my office just looking pretty) can work for Elle, but they have no plans to be up here any time.
-My frustrations about the limits of my current boarding barn are adding up and I'm starting to casually look for other places. Everything is far and EXPENSIVE where I am, so it's very disheartening. However!! My coach just clued me in to a little place only 20 minutes away (half the distance I drive now) that I think has everything I'm looking for, and I'm going to check it out this week!! Here's the link to that topic, for all the details: Contemplating a move... but it's so hard!!
-I've become totally "arena-sour" and refuse to use the indoor right now. Even if it just means I sit on Elle and we wander around at a walk in the mud outside. We're still both much happier, and the selfish boarder who somehow manages to monopolize the ring constantly, just to lunge her three horses, isn't in the way if I do that.

I tried to get a current pic of Elle in her stall last night, to update with, but she had just had a big drink of water and when I pulled my phone out she started wetly lipping at it looking for cookies. Hilarious, but obviously no pics were had!!


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## whisperbaby22

You may be like me, more secure in a bareback pad than saddle. I feel in the saddle that I am to high up on the horse to feel that I would be able to sit a spook, and that I miss feeling how the horse is feeling because of all this leather and stuff between me and the horse's back.

When treeless saddles appeared, they seemed like a great idea for me. This is what I use now. For short rides I use a cashel soft saddle. It is really thick, so not good for trail riding, but is so quick and easy to use, just hose it off and is like sitting on a pillow.

For trail rides I use a souped up natural ride. Of course I keep an eye on my horse's back, if these saddles caused problems I'd have to get a regular saddle, but so far no issues.

For dressage, yes you need the saddle. But since this pad is working out so well you might want to look at some of these options, I think it's a good idea to use different saddles, and bridles for that matter.


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## SteadyOn

Went out on Saturday for a ride, and it was my first time in the outdoor ring for the season, wooooo! It was VERY sloppy, and there was still some snow and ice in areas (though it was easy to spot and avoid it). I found it totally fine for walk and trot, but a bit too mucky for canter. Another rider was cantering Parker out there, but he's younger and much smaller than Elle, and less prone, I think, to tripping as there's not as much of him to keep organized!

There were actually two other riders out there with me. They were in a lesson, working on poles and small jumps, so I just sort of puttered around a bit and tried to stay out of their way. I also just parked Elle and watched, a lot. The kids are both teens, and GOOD riders. The older one, a boy, is bringing along an OTTB who is a sweet horse but super green. Good on them both, as both he and the horse are very sweet and brave! They trotted some small jumps and, while they are both very obviously figuring it all out, they did really well. The girl on Parker, meanwhile, was doing fantastically and cantering whole laps on him. When I was riding him two years ago, getting a few STRIDES of canter on him was an accomplishment. Anyhow, as a 40-year-old re-rider who feels she has only recently achieved some kind of level of basic competence, I was super impressed by these teens outshining my skills -- in the best way I mean, no shade and no jealousy!!!

I joined them for a "hack" after, although as I've noted previously, there's really nowhere to go. Especially while everything is still very sloppy, with ice and snow on big parts of the property, too, and the long driveway now off-limits (sigh!). But even then, Elle was like "nope!!" despite being a very good girl lately, when they went across a little land bridge over a ditch that still had some ice and snow on it. She doesn't say no to much these days, but she decided that walking backwards was the better alternative, even though the other two were already across just fine. Their parents told them to come back and try another route, so I guess Elle won that one. I hope she was genuinely just worried for us both, with the dodgy footing there. I didn't press the issue, but led her back and forth across it after on foot -- with cookies, of course -- and she made no objection.

I can't remember the last time we rode "out" with other riders, so Elle was a bit excited and not as keen to listen to my legs and reins. I had to be a bit rude a couple of times, but it is what it is. The OTTB did a little spook and spin at a puddle, which made Parker and Elle do the same thing in a domino effect, but we all managed to shut that down before it escalated, and everything was fine. Although Elle did some little head tosses the whole way after that; I think I may have nailed her hard in the mouth when I grabbed one rein to stop that spin, but it kind of serves her right. 🤷‍♀️ I miss Elle being a _little_ less keen, yeesh, but I'm so glad she's come to life again with the outside riding!!

Afterwards, the coach who had been giving them the lesson offered me a rainbow horsey cupcake for Elle! So pretty! Elle wasn't sure about it at first, but then chewed it for ages with her ears moving and flopping all over while she processed the experience. Then immediately mooched for more. I guess it was a hit!











And now, this afternoon, I'm going to look at that little place that's closer. I don't know much about it at all, but this is what I do know:

-20 minute drive from me
-small barn
-indoor arena with a real roof, not a coverall
-outdoor sand riding ring
-several decently sized paddocks
-lots of trees around it
-VERY close to a small town that's convenient to me for errands
-only three other horses there
-on a cute little back road that goes on a ways down to some cottages
-likely some trails in the area

That's literally it. I have a written list of questions, so I should know more soon!!


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## whisperbaby22

Good luck!


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## SteadyOn

A whole lot has happened since my last update! I won't get super detailed, but:

-The cute little place near me would have been great, but sadly (for me), an old boarder wants to come back and will serve the purpose the BO needs filled, so she doesn't want another horse/boarder in addition. Makes sense, but too bad.
-My partner finally decided to ride my horse, for the first time ever. He's only maybe ridden about a dozen times (though most of those times were actually lessons), and hasn't been on a horse at all in over two years... and he totally smashed it. In a good way, haha. Dammit!! His sitting trot looked great and his canter seat was remarkably relaxed. I will say though, I think there's something about being completely naive and fearless that can work to an advantage with riding. You're not tense if you have no idea of what could go wrong. He was just sooooort of riding, as well, as we were in the indoor arena and he didn't really have to steer. And I cued her with the lunge whip from the middle, as I'm quite sure he'd have gotten very frustrated trying to get, and keep, canter. But all in all, I was impressed!!!
-Speaking of the indoor, I've had a couple of rides in it lately that just served to remind me how much I haaaaaaaate riding in there. Ugh. It renewed my desire to look for another place before indoor ride season kicks back in. But that may or may not be possible. Blechhh, though.
-Spring, plus the presence of a newborn filly at the barn, have put Elle into the longest heat of all time, I swear. She's normally not super different when in heat, but this time she definitely has a raging case of the stupids. She's being more reactive and distracted, although she's been mostly quite good in the outdoor arena, which is her happy place. I made this its own post, but this is what happened one day when she was being, frankly, awful during our ride, and I decided to hop off and free-lunge instead. Guess she needed that. 😳 






-I finally had my coach come out (first time since January) to give me a lesson and check the fit of my new saddle. About 60% of the time was spent dealing with the saddle, but that was a good thing, as I really needed eyes on it with more knowledge and experience than mine!! We tried it on the narrow setting, then the medium setting, then back on narrow, and concluded that it actually worked quite well for her on the narrow. Is it a custom, perfect fit? Nope. But it fits in a balanced way, doesn't interfere with her shoulders, and makes even contact everywhere. I'll need to get a cutout withers pad for it, ideally, but my coach said it fits her well enough that it's not a burning emergency to go get one. She said it actually fits better than the saddle we've been using for the last two years -- the one I do not like -- so that's awesome! What a relief!!!
-Regarding the new saddle, it has been a LONG time since I've ridden in a proper dressage saddle that really requires that open hip and long thigh. And oof, I am TIGHT. The other saddle, even though it is a dressage saddle, had the bars placed in such a way that I had to sit more like you do in a GP, which is one of the things that frustrated me most. But wow, going to need a LOT of no-stirrups work, and lots of stretching, to get my hips open enough again and stop banging my knees into the thigh blocks!!!

And that's about where things are at. Spring is late to arrive here, and very wet and cold so far, but there have been a few nice days here and there. I'm excited for good, outdoor riding weather to be the norm. Whenever that happens.


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## SteadyOn

Some major ups and downs this week, oof!

The weather has been all over the place. And while we have had some gorgeous days, until just Friday I kept having to miss them for my barn visits. My part boarder kept getting them all! Not her fault, as we pick the days way in advance. Just how the (soggy, rain-soaked) cookie crumbles.

A couple of issues happening with Elle lately. One, is that her spring allergies are back. I've been feeding her spirulina powder for months now, hoping that would help to some degree, but I'm not sure it has. She's back to hacking and snotting during our rides, though the goo only seems to be an issue DURING rides. On the one hand, I think the motion helps loosen it up, which is good, buuuut... gosh it makes her miserable. Walk is fine, trot is so-so (coughs, but manageable), and canter is very difficult for her. I can feel the tightness in her whole body as she readies the next cough. I talked to the vet, who recommended I try respi-free with her. I used Zev last year, but didn't find it helped. She said if the respi-free didn't work, the only alternative was to give her steroids until it clears up. I'm a bit wary of doing that, though, with an old horse with an unknown Cushings status. (I'm about 95% sure it's not an issue, but I'd probably rather run bloods first.)

Elle had her shoes put back on for the season on Monday, and I went out to see her, and decided to just free-lunge as it was too wet to ride outside, and areas of the footing in the indoor had been all messed up by a tractor going in and out. She was a bit poky and stiff, and her canter to the left was very laboured and on the forehand. She had, however, been stuck inside all day, plus shoes on for the first time in five months, so I didn't think too much of it.

Then, I had a good ride on Wednesday morning. The coughing was moderate. The arena was pretty wet, so we only did a couple VERY short canters -- as in, a few strides each way in some dry patches. Even that made some coughs come. It was drizzly and blahh.

Then Friday was a bit weird. It was a GORGEOUS night and I didn't want to leave the barn!! Sigh! But there were some things. When I was tacking Elle up, I noticed she was dropping her back a bit when I brushed over her loins on the left side. Odd. But she was also completely distracted and screaming at other horses (new foals at the barn, some of the horses having dinner, lots happening!) so I made a mental note, but also decided it could be irritability at the situation. When I rode, she was a bit poky, generally, but was also doing little tugs on the reins in a way that she normally never does. Again, maybe irritability? She didn't get her dinner before the ride. She was also not very forward in trot, and did some little trips. But again, there were reasons that could explain it. The arena was freshly harrowed, when it's usually very firmly packed, so she was sinking more than she's used to. She had bell boots and brushing boots on because of the shoes, whereas she went all winter without shoes or boots. So that was another thing that could trip her up. And she was distracted by... no dinner, an audience of people standing around chatting and watching, Canada geese, the biggest raven I'd ever seen, her own coughing and tension, etc etc. One most of the coughing cleared, I tried a little canter and, while she wasn't that forward, her right lead felt quite good. I did a couple short spells of that, and she didn't cough, yay!! Tried her left lead, but she was stiff and on the forehand. Now, one of the problems, when you're riding a horse who has a history of needing her stiffness "worked through," is that you don't know if that's the case until you try. I decided to see if starting her on the (good) right lead, and then coming back around to the rail to do a swap to the (bad) left would result in a better canter than going straight into left lead. We got one lovely change, but when I tried it again the other way, left to right, she started the change and then got SUPER unbalanced and tripped the hardest she ever has with me on board. I was actually about to call out "She's really on the forehand tonight!" to the people watching, but obviously she gave them a sufficient demonstration!!! I managed to stay on for the trip -- thank you to every instructor who ever yelled "sit up sit up sit up!!!" to me in a hairy spot -- and then just trotted her a little to loosen her up and make sure she didn't seem to hurt herself, then cooled out and called it a night.

Last night my part boarder went to ride her, but noticed the soreness in the loins, and that she just felt poky and off, so stopped the ride after just ten minutes. Hmmm. She seemed to think it was somewhere in the fronts. And again, could tie back to the shoeing job this week. Or, I'm thinking, she was short in the front and sore in her loins because of holding tension in her lungs. Either way, not fun for miss Elle at all. We were both supposed to have biomechanics lessons on her -- me today, my part boarder tomorrow -- but we decided to cancel and just give Elle a few days off to hopefully relax a bit and feel better, and then reassess. I'm planning to go out there tonight, and I'll take her for a walk to limber up, and then turn her loose in the outdoor and verrrrry gently free-lunge her to see how she's moving, and whether or not she even wants to move. Should tell me a lot, based on her running-screaming-farting video from two weeks ago! I'm suspicious of/hoping that this all ties back to her body holding tension from her lungs, but who knows. I might also borrow some Bute tonight from the BO, as it might help too. And I'll give the poor old girl a big mouthful of Zev, even though she'll hate me for it.

Sigh! Horses!!!!! 🤷‍♀️


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## whisperbaby22

Do a cushings test. My cushings horse is a completely different case, but starting the pink pill has been (at times, trying) but overall a game changer for the horse.


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## SteadyOn

whisperbaby22 said:


> Do a cushings test. My cushings horse is a completely different case, but starting the pink pill has been (at times, trying) but overall a game changer for the horse.


Yeah, I'm thinking I'll likely do so. I talked to my vet about it when I booked her dental (currently scheduled for the end of May) but I might call her again tomorrow and see if she could come sooner to have a poke at Elle and do some bloodwork. The dental float isn't dire as she was just done last spring with no major findings, so we can always reschedule that part to soften the financial blow!!! Figure I could always get the steroids via the vet for the cough, and just wait for the lab results before actually starting them.

I'm hoping I'll get a better read after some quality time with Elle tonight! I don't think anything super serious is happening. But anything being off is always a concern, of course, especially with the oldies!


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## whisperbaby22

If she does have cushings, one of the concerns for people is the cost. However, my horse is on 1/4 tab a day, and I get a deal from the pharmacy through my vet. Since she really doesn't have the classic cushings symptoms, she may be borderline, which means she may only need a small amount of the pill. 

Some people must give 2 pills a day which really is a cost, but I don't think she will need that, likely she is not cushings at all, but before starting the steroids it's just peace of mind.


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## SteadyOn

Wellp, just got back from the barn and she was... fine? Took her out for about a ten minute walk, and she was moving great. It was cool and windy, so she was perky for the walk. Free-lunged in the arena, and while she was on the poky side, and a bit shuffly at first, she warmed up fine. Zero tripping, zero coughing, and this is how she looked:






I think... well, a few things.
-the allergy symptoms are somewhat weather-dependent
-something about the added weight/pressure/whatever of tack and a rider triggers the coughing
-she may have hurt herself a bit when she tripped the other night, so was off a little last night but felt mostly better today
-All of the above?
-Who knows?

I also poked and prodded her all over. She didn't react to having her loins pressed on like she did the last two days. Could not have cared less. I couldn't get a pain response from her anywhere.

We're still going to avoid riding her until about Thursday. Give her a few days of just turnout and hand-walking and see how she feels then. If she's holding tension in her body from her lungs during rides, hopefully that gives it a chance to dissipate. Didn't bother with Bute as she doesn't seem ouchy, but I did give her a big shot in the mouth of Zev. Sorry/you're welcome, Elle!


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## SteadyOn

Well, that's more like it!!

I talked to the vet and she recommended I try Respi-Free with her before we get into drugging her. So I picked some up today. Found it easier to deal with than the Zev, too, as you can pour it into the cap to draw it up into the syringe.

I free-lunged Elle (using the secondary outdoor ring as the boarder who monopolizes the place had, surprise surprise, turned her horses out in the main riding ring. Going to have a conversation with the BO about that! Siiiiiiiiighhhh, arrrghhhh.) She wasn't into it at first, and was doing some funny little head twitches... but that just turned out to be a need for a good, big buck-leap-fart, and then she ran around screaming and zooming again.

Please excuse my wheezing. I swear I'm actually in shape. Just ran a 5k last week. But she makes me WORK when I free-lunge, and the humidity was getting to me a little!






And I know I click at her a lot, which is more of a "check-in" rather than a go-faster, for us. Tends to be more checking in when she's being a hooligan, hahaha.

Anyhow, riding will start again shortly, haha. And fingers crossed that the Respi-Free works better!


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## SteadyOn

I try not to complain too much, especially not in a public forum, but occasionally I need to vent a little. I'm generally very understanding of other horse people. I know it's largely a labour of love, and that very few people -- and certainly no one at my barn -- is getting rich from it. To a certain degree, ALL stables, officially or not, are a cooperative to some extent.

Which is why... oooooo it burns me when people don't play well with others.

I've spoken before of the boarder with the three mares -- and now, golly, three mares and two newly born fillies -- who has come in and done her very best to monopolize the place. Hogging the aisles. Hogging the storage. Blasting the radio. Hogging the indoor arena -- including interrupting riders so that she could lunge her horses, where there is NO SPACE for that during rides. And being incredibly unpleasant and complaining about everyone and everything.

I was getting borderline homicidal about it all winter, but two things happened. One, both her mares had very difficult births, and things only turned around because of the help of others at the barn. She seemed thankful and humbled, and "played nice" for a while.

Two, outdoor riding became possible again, so it didn't matter if she wanted to use the indoor, or wanted to lunge during rides -- even if it was in the outdoor ring. There was room. I figured, once we were riding outside, there would be no possible way for her to monopolize the ring and ruin people's rides.

But I underestimated her. When I went there the other day (see video above), I was met with:

"I hope you're not planning to ride in the big ring with the jumps, because [mare] and her baby are turned out in there."

Wait, WHAT????

I was actually too flabbergasted to respond in an appropriate manner -- which would have been some serious anger. As it happened, I wasn't planning to ride that day. I grabbed Elle and lunged her in the second arena -- which is muddy, a tripping hazard in places, and has no poles or jumps or anything. And Elle had a BIG trip at the beginning of it on the uneven footing. Meanwhile mare and baby were not even moving around the HUGE arena that is in no way a turnout area.

I called the BO as soon as I got home, who had NO idea that the boarder had turned out in there, and was horrified and furious. Her stepson was also livid, as he had recently done several thorough groomings of the ring to get it ready for the season, and get all the weeds and crap out of there... and this woman had hauled down wheelbarrows full of hay and dumped it in there!!

When the BO approached her about it, the woman apparently "got ugly" and pitched a fit about it. Apparently she thinks she can just bully everyone. And unfortunately, my very sweet BO is too often a pushover, so I'm not sure this won't be a problem again.

Meanwhile, this woman has available to her for her single mare, and two mares with fillies: one large grassy paddock, a round pen, a medium sized grassy pen, and the entire indoor arena. Oh, and the second arena where I wound up lungeing, that people almost never ride in.

But no, no, let's make sure to be as in-the-way as possible so we can play a victim and pitch a fit when we don't get our way. SO DONE with this woman.


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## Txshecat0423

@SteadyOn, I’d be mad too…and probably have been kicked out of the place by now as there would be a throw down and I wouldn’t be the one losing!! 

I hope the BO is making enough off that one entitled boarder to make up for it when everyone else finally gets a gut full and finds somewhere else to go.


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## Knave

I’m sorry!


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## SteadyOn

I went out last night to ride. Happy to report that Elle was moving a lot better and much more forward. She was extremely grumpy about being saddled, but she's always varying degrees of grumpy/girthy so it doesn't seem to mean much. I assume a previous owner was rough with saddling and doing up the girth. By starting the girth from the "wrong" side, she takes it a little better, and I tend to slip her some cookies, during the process, but she'll probably always fidget and stomp her feet. At least she expresses herself! She's never tender anywhere in that area before or after rides, so I do think it's behavioural. Especially since she's been doing it for years.

The cough, however, is still a problem under saddle. I did try the Respi-Free about 20 minutes before riding, but she was still hacking and horking a lot, and I could occasionally hear some rattling phlegm. So we obviously didn't work too hard!! Short trots and canters, lots of walk breaks. Did a little shoulder-in to the right as she's wanting to fall in a bit on right turns lately, but will use herself better so long as she's reminded. We had a little walk around the property afterwards with two other riders. Was nice to meander with other riders. Unfortunately these two are only there until the end of the month, though.

I called the vet again this morning to inquire about some meds for her for the cough. This usually doesn't stop for her until some time in June, and I don't want all our rides to be miserable, or to not ride at all, for a whole month. This is some of the nicest riding weather of the whole year! Both Elle and I are excited to be back out in the outdoor ring, so we need to make sure she's feeling good enough to make the most of it!

Didn't see the selfish dingaling last night. She's only out there during the day, so I think I'll just avoid her for a bit. Apparently I'm a bad guy too now, in her world, for complaining to the BO about the arena turnout issue. She said she "offered" to move them but I declined. And yes I did decline, because I didn't really need the arena THAT day, but the way she phrased it was NOT an offer. It was a passive-aggressive assertion that she would not be moving them. But! Apparently she went to look at another place yesterday. Good!!

Riding in the evenings is nice, but I do have to share the arena with a couple of jumper riders. Which is fine because it's fun to have other people to ride with, and I need more practice at sharing space with other riders. They are decent and reasonable people (unlike some), and I enjoy spending time with them. It is nice, though, to have the ring to myself at times as it can be a bit limiting, trying to stay out of the way of people trying to jump a course. Still, there's always something productive to do, so it's not a problem!


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## SteadyOn

A near-perfect barn visit and ride last night! Sunny, warm enough to ride in a t-shirt, and the bugs aren't really out yet.

One thing marred it, which was being snubbed and then confronted by that ridiculous boarder with the mares and foals. I was hoping that I'd be there late enough to miss her, but alas, I was not, and it was just the two of us. At first she ignored my greeting, and walked away angrily. Then I tried again with a friendly comment on the weather, and she snipped "Yup" before walking away, doing a dramatic 180, and then coming back and saying "I can't handle this tension!!" and I'm thinking, um, okay, but it's all YOUR tension. I got a tearful earful about how unfair and terrible I was for complaining to the BO about her turning out in the arena. "I pay my board too!" The riding ring isn't a turnout. "Where are my babies supposed to run around?" The three paddocks available to you, the second outdoor arena, or the indoor arena. "My babies can't be on all that awful deep sand in the indoor!" Funny, it was good enough for you to monopolize it in the winter... "Why do you get dibs on the riding ring? Why couldn't YOU lunge Elle in the indoor, then?" Because THE MAIN RIDING RING IS NOT A TURNOUT. "I offered to move them for you, and you said you didn't need the ring that day!" You didn't offer to move them, and I didn't need it _that day_, but I wanted to make sure this didn't become a "thing" because sometimes I'm in a rush and I don't have time to wait for people to play musical horses before I can ride. And you infuriated the BO's step son by putting hay out there when the ring had just been fastidiously groomed. "No, that wasn't the issue!" Actually, that was a pretty big issue.

Anyhow, she SAYS she's going to leave with her horses, but who knows. I was actually pretty proud of myself for not letting that interaction ruin my mood completely for the ride, etc. I kept my cool somehow. I absolutely loathe confrontation but apparently I'm getting better at it. Who knew?

The ride itself was actually lovely. I used the jump saddle for the first time this season. It had gone positively HAIRY with mold over the winter, which I hadn't realized because it was behind some saddle pads in a locker. I cleaned it really well earlier this week, though it definitely needs another thorough pass, and some oiling. But it was good enough to break out for a ride! I gave Elle a big mouthful of Respi-Free as soon as I grabbed her, to hopefully give it time to work. She hates it a lot less than she hates Zev! She didn't act at all girthy this time, which is interesting. I still don't think it's really correlated to anything other than her mood, and she seemed half-asleep, heh.

I've already put in an order for some meds and steroids for the cough, which I'm getting tomorrow. Which of course means that Elle only did one small cough during the ride, because of course! I still stand by the decision though, as I could hear some phlegm in her breathing at times. She wasn't super forward for the ride, but wasn't resistant either. No tripping, thankfully!! I do think the tripping is related to the coughing, for sure.

Once we warmed up, we trotted over some tiny-child-beginner sized jumps. I do NOT jump (well not anymore, really), but having a course in there and watching the jumper riders had given me a bit of the bug again, and I know Elle loves it! So I decided to be as brave as a hesitant seven-year-old and trot into some (substantially lowered) fences. Elle did jump them, though she could very easily have stepped over any of them, heh. Good girl! It's probably just as well that she was lacking pep last night, as sometimes she gets quite strong about jumping. (Well, strong by hesitant seven-year-old child standards, bahaha.) The jumping itself was fine. The landings were not super graceful on my part -- just need more practice. But I never got unseated or lost a stirrup or caught her in the mouth, so that's a win! After trotting the wee jumps, we then did a bunch of canter in two-point. And despite not practicing that for months and months, it actually went far better than it did last year! I'm going to credit all the running I've been doing lately with giving me more leg strength. I've run 5k three times just this past week! I'm supposed to be doing a 5k run this morning, according to my original plan, but my body says it wants a break today!!!

After our ride, I took her for a little walk to make sure we cooled out well, as she's not used to jumping with a rider these days -- even if they are teensy widdle baby jumps. And then hand-grazed her a little. I'm looking forward to her finally shedding out completely, but all the horses are behind this year, with the late spring. I'll try to give her a bath this week to hasten things along. She's such a lovely bright bay under all that winter hair... somewhere!


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## Txshecat0423

@SteadyOn, what a wonderfully (comically ) descriptive post! Felt like I was there! And good for you on standing up and responding maturely to Selfish Boardmate. I might have punched her in the nose…


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## SteadyOn

Well, two major activities happened yesterday. One, is that I did actually, after writing that post, go for that 5k run I wasn't going to do. It was a bit of a slog, but I was just feeling it anyhow, and I wound up doing one of my best times for that distance.

Great, except... when I went to ride that evening (activity two), I was pretty pooched! The exhaustion and tension in my body, combined with having just ridden with short stirrups in my jump saddle for the first time in ages, meant my body just kind of... spontaneously forgot how to canter in a dressage saddle. Haha hooo boy. Time for a rest!!

After the ride, I cooled Elle out and then gave her a very thorough sponge bath, head to toe. Finally!!! It was extremely satisfying to scrub away all the winter filth. I'm hoping it maybe helped stimulate a little more shedding, too, as all the horses are lagging a bit in that department this year. Late spring = they're all still wearing their sweater vests. Of course, one can only get a horse as clean as one is willing to get dirty themselves. So I ended up filthy but happy, while a soaking wet Elle free-range grazed on the lawn (rather than back in her paddock, where she would have 1000% rolled in the hay pile).










As I was about to leave for the evening, Elle was eating her dinner but stopped to flip her lip a few times and look uncomfortable. Ugh, great. After about ten minutes she had stopped though and was back to eating happily. The BO said she'd check on her a few times in the evening, but I didn't hear anything, so I assume either she ate something funny in her food, or was just having a little discomfort for any one of a million reasons. Could be the Respi-Free from before the ride was still throwing off her taste.

Today I go and grab the allergy meds for her, and then we'll see how that goes!

And because I'm a sucker for punishment, I just finished a 6k walk. However, I'm away the next two days, so there will be NO workouts happening of any kind. Figure I'd better squeeze in that bit of activity while I still could.


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## SteadyOn

I had a great visit this week, for a couple of days, with my best friend who lives in a major city here. I used to live there for over a decade, but left back in 2015, which is when I got my rusty bum back in the saddle again and started this whole wacky adventure. It was great to spend some proper time together, as we had only seen each other twice during the pandemic, just for a few hours, outdoors. Though we are at least very good at keeping in touch with texts and the occasional phone call.

The trip out of town meant limited riding this week. Yesterday I left work a little early to finally pick up Elle's allergy meds. I had tried to get them on Monday, but the timing didn't work out. Then my BO was supposed to get them while I was away, but she was dealing with a colicky horse in addition to some crazy work hours. So I only finally got them last night. Elle's cough during rides is either full on, or basically absent, which is making me second guess medicating her for it. However, when it's on, it's ON, and I feel terrible for her. She hacks and horks and has a hard time doing anything, and you can hear the phlegm rattling in her lungs. She'll be getting Uniprim and prednisolone. The Uniprim to knock out any secondary infection and to make sure any bacteria in there don't become opportunistic while she's on the prednisolone. She's never had an inkling of laminitis in her life, has always had great feet and the ability to stuff her face with any feed or grass so I'm hoping a month on this stuff is worth the potential minor risk of laminitis. I think she's less prone to it than many out there. But of course, I'll monitor her closely. I monitor everything pretty closely with her -- she's almost 25, after all!

Because I got to the barn early last night, it was still blazing sunshine and heat. 30 degrees celsius here, which is a lot even when the horses are actually acclimatized. However, they're really not, and they're still a little woolly, so I decided to throw the bareback pad on and just wander around the property on her. It was all walk except for one tiny bit of trot and canter, just to test my seat with it again as it had been months since I'd been on her bareback. It felt pretty good, though I needed to remember to relax my lower back more. She was definitely babysitting me when I did my tiny canters on her, haha. "Are you SURE you want to?" she seemed to ask, as she stayed in a tiny four-beat lope. No coughing though, at all. Of course. Because I had just grabbed the meds. Sigh.

Riding bareback again was also a good trust exercise for me, as I would have been pretty much at her mercy if she decided to do a big spook or act up in any way. (She almost never does either of those things, but still!) I just had myself, the bareback pad with a grab strap, and her bridle. No whip, and no recourse, ha. But she was near-perfect. She balked at one point when I asked her to head up the driveway. Said no a couple of times, and decided to only go backwards, but I got her through it with some gentle persistence. Rode up and down a little bank without slipping at all, which was great. And walked through a little ditch a couple of times, and over a culvert that she sometimes objects to, with no problems. I drew the line, however, when there was a big clear plastic garbage bag being blown around in one area of the property. I thought about trying to ride her right past it, but she was giving it THAT LOOK that we all know, and thought I should probably live to ride another day!! After the ride though, I made a point of leading her up to it and having her check it out. She put her head down, snorted at it (which was very funny because the snort made it blow out even more) and was unbothered. Stepped right over it. Good girl!!! Then I untacked and let her just free-range graze the property for a solid hour.

During the ride, I tried to take pictures showing the fact that I was on her in the bareback pad, but couldn't get her loooong neck and long ears and everything all in the same shot. I also managed to spill her cookies all over while taking out my phone to take the pic. Haha. Good times!!



















(The lighter blue thing is just a soft cloth I shoved under the front to keep the pad from rubbing her withers.)

I'm hoping to get out again tonight, and I'll try to go later so it's a cooler ride and we can do "real" work. But it's hard to beat a nice lazy bareback wander in the sun!!


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## whisperbaby22

As a life long pad rider, I have some advise. May not work for you, but I have always paired my pad with a breastplate. If she spooks and you have to grab that stap the pad may slip a bit, but it will hold. I now ride treeless, and I'm to chicken to get on without a breastplate.


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## SteadyOn

Really nice ride last night. It wasn't technically my day to go, but I'd had a message from my part-boarder saying she'd ridden first thing in the morning, so an evening ride definitely meant Elle got a good long break in between. My PB never works her very hard anyhow.

The cough meds -- uniprim + prednisolone -- were just started on Friday. My PB said Elle coughed about six times during the morning ride, so I figured, well, they haven't had much time to kick in yet. But when I rode her last night... no coughs!!!!! No coughs at all, and no tripping at all, and she felt really forward and relaxed and good. She was a tiny bit stiff to the left in canter, but it was nothing compared to when she was pretzelling herself to try to contain her coughing.

Her right lead canter felt so nice and smooth and consistent, in fact, that I managed a couple beautiful laps of the whole huge outdoor, and did some silly schooling exercises to test myself. I one-handed the reins and windmilled each arm, touched the top of my head, etc. No problems!! To the left, we couldn't stay as consistent, and I didn't try that, but that was partly her stiffness and partly my lack of riding fitness lately. Now that she's (knock on wood) feeling up to more sustained work, hopefully we'll both work through our little issues there. Her left lead canter is always the first thing to get a little wonky if she isn't worked in it consistently. When she is, there's really no good or bad direction. So hopefully we'll get there again.

(Noseband is undone here, which is why it looks like it's over the cheek piece!)










I'm noticing more signs of ageing in her this year. A little bonier around the withers, and her back dropping ever so slightly more, despite me making lots of effort to work her topline over the winter. Lots of lumps and bumps on her legs and pasterns -- though she's had those for years, and it's hard to tell if they're more prominent. A few more grey hairs on her cheeks and here and there in her coat. But respiratory allergies aside, she's still happy in her work, and her little bit of Previcox maintenance is still doing wonders for her. And I still don't think she looks or moves like she's as old as she is. I'll ask the vet to draw some blood and make sure her systems are all still ticking along the way they should, when she has her dental in a few weeks.

Two nice things are really blossoming this season, so far: my "happy hacker" goals for her are really coming along. Wacky spring heat from a few weeks ago now being over, she's much more confident and relaxed during rides outside of the arena. And so am I!! I think it's a bit of a chicken-and-egg thing, but whatever the case, all the hand-walking, treat-feeding, and exploring that I started with her last spring has transitioned into her being a pretty good buddy to wander the property with. Nothing has changed about the fact that there are no trails or backroads to explore, alas, but we can use the long driveway again now that things have dried out. And much of the property has also dried out enough that riding around and between the rings and paddocks is possible. I even accidentally rode her on some really squishy footing last night and she was only mildly upset about it -- whereas the same thing resulted in her spinning and dumping me two years ago!! I also now have a new saddle with big thigh blocks, and a grab strap, so I don't think the same fall would happen if she did that again, but hopefully she's not so inclined now!

One thing about hacking through: my PB had done a lovely job thoroughly washing the brushing boots, and by the end of my ride, you couldn't even tell. 😣 So I felt guilty and rewashed them. I also cleaned my previously VERY moldy jump saddle again, now that it had had dry weather to recover, and conditioned the heck out of it with Lederbalsam. Now it glows, and smells like honey!










While I cleaned the tack, I let Elle free-range graze. Eventually she went around the back of the barn, and I heard all the horses inside whinnying. I walked in, and she was standing in the aisle, like, "Is it bedtime now?" Hahaha, awww. Good, tired giant pony. Lots of cookies for her!


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## SteadyOn

Not too much to add, but wound up slipping out last-minute for a ride last night. I wasn't going to, as I'd gone the previous night and I don't usually go that often. But it was cooler and a little breezy, and had rained a little during the day, so I knew that would keep the dust down and the bugs wouldn't be awful. Just did a little half hour ring ride, no hacking -- and no hacking of the other kind from Elle, either, as she had nary a rattle nor a cough!!

She also felt a lot better to the left, in canter, than she had the night before, so that was good. Actually, funny thing: when I was getting her ready, I was using one of those plastic Magic Brushes that everyone is raving about (and honestly I can see why, they're amazing) on my first pass, and she was twitching and pulling her back away from it, especially on her left. I thought, oh noooo, she's body-sore again, maybe the saddle is bugging her after all. Then I tried poking her, prodding her, and several other brushes, with no reaction at all. I think she just finds the new brush tickling. Phew!!!

As for me, I was feeling a lot better in the dressage saddle again than I was last weekend, when I had totally overdone everything. I'm trying to think of it a bit like "bareback with foot rests" to keep myself from bracing into the stirrups and putting too much bend down into my heel. Trying to reincorporate a little riding in the jump saddle is reemphasizing for me just HOW different the two seats are -- especially now that I'm in a "proper" dressage saddle that absolutely requires and open hip and long leg. It's like the difference in position between walking and downhil skiing. Both valid ways of going, heh, but veeeeerrry different postures!! Meanwhile my sitting trot in the new dressage saddle is a trainwreck, but I just have to put in the work and I'm sure it'll come back. Eventually.

We also had some beautiful golden late-day light. Snapped a couple quick pics from Elle's back. She was a total doll, btw, and very happy and relaxed. She's the horse I know and love again (not that I ever didn't love her), now that we're not cramped into a tiny miserable echo-y indoor arena, and she's not in heat, or tripping, or coughing up a lung. Phew!!


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## SteadyOn

Yet another ride last night, yay!! I'm squeezing in all I can right now as I'm heading in to a long weekend with my business and may not get out until some time next week.

Another lovely, sunny, cool breezy evening with no biting bugs. Although warm enough that I rode in a tank top!

Elle did cough twice during the ride, but it was VERY dusty and dry out in the ring, so fair enough. Two clearing coughs during a ride is normal for her, plus she hadn't had the prednisolone for about 24 hours at that point. So not worrisome. I'm glad, I think, that I opted to medicate this time around. Who knows how bad she would have been without it. She was definitely uncomfortable and not feeling the work, and I can't blame her!

Another nice things that's happening: she's about 70-80% shed out now finally. I gave her a really good grooming last night, and trimmed her mane and detangled her tail. Got as much loose hair off her as I reasonably could. And she's getting that summer GLOW back! Hooray! It's amazing what a difference it makes to their overall condition and look once they really kick into that summer look. Sadly, where I live, it's shortlived. But I swear she looks ten years younger than she did a month ago! Wish I had gotten some pictures of her looking so smart, but instead, I got this.










I'm still struggling a bit to adapt to my new saddle. But it's a struggle in the right direction! In the same way that riding a horse that will only do what you ask if you ask it correctly, the saddle only rewards a correct dressage position with a very open hip. My last saddle wasn't well balanced for me and I found I had to ride more like I would in an AP. If I'd been riding in the new saddle in, say, 2018, when I was used to this kind of saddle and had a VERY open hip, it would have felt natural. But for now... there's only one way to fix my position and get those hips open and thighs long again.










Ugh!


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## SteadyOn

What a fabulous ride last night!! I wasn't going to go at all this weekend, as I assumed I'd be too busy/exhausted. And really, I was both those things, but it was a perfect evening weather-wise (much better than predicted) so I dragged my butt out there anyhow. It was sunny and just a little breezy. Not too hot at all, but warm enough that I was comfortable in a tank top once we got moving. The mosquitos and blackflies were out, but not badly at all, yet. A little fly spray made them very tolerable.

Elle had her dinner and allergy meds right before I hopped on her, so we did a long, slow walk warmup around the property to ease her into work. She had a good marching walk from the get go, and we tackled a couple parts of the property that we haven't hacked through as much. I didn't cling to the grab strap like I used to -- she was so darn relaxed! One of the barn dogs was even skulking in the trees and grass near us. But she didn't seem to care at all. Just in case, I called out to the dog several times so they both knew I saw him. And I flexed Elle so she could see him behind her in her periphery on both sides. But aside from pointing her ears at him a couple of times, she gave him no notice.

Once we hit the ring, she was a powerhouse! Just forward, forward, forward!! And no coughing, no tripping except one little one when I asked for canter in a slightly deeper bit of footing and she got disorganized. I worked on getting her energy flowing, and got some really wonderfully forward laps of canter in, in both directions. Some of the most forward canter I've had out of her in ages! Managed two and half laps of sustained right lead canter before giving her a breather and reorganizing. (The ring is HUGE, so two full laps is a lot!) We had to break up our laps on the left lead, although that had more to do with me being weaker that direction right now, than her. Funny, left lead canter used to be my better direction! Ah well, bodies are weird.

Actually, my seat was kind of terrible. I'm still getting back into shape from riding so very little over the winter. And this new saddle is still challenging for me. But again, hopefully worth it in the long run. (If not, I have no aversion to selling it on!) My part-boarder dislikes it and is still using the old one, but again, I think it's just too different from anything she's used before. She didn't like my coach’s personal dressage saddle either, for the few months at the beginning when we had borrowed that one.

After getting big, lovely canter both ways, and very forward, very fast trot, I worked on trying to contain some of that energy into collection. I put her on a big circle at one end of the ring, which I established first in trot, and then did canter-walk-canter-walk-canter transitions over and over to get her sitting back more and being ready to transition. I found my butt wanted to shoot to the back of the seat every time we went into canter, so that was interesting. I must be hollowing my back and tipping forward, unconsciously. A habit of mine I've always had to some degree, ugh, but again this saddle is less forgiving of it!! Maybe a good thing in the long run?

One fun thing we did, as breaks between exercises, was to go outside the ring and walk around it or into a nearby empty paddock, just for variety. She seemed to enjoy that! I'll certainly do that more often going forward.

Near the end of the ride, I experimented with using her body in different ways on turns in the trot. We did some conventional turns, with a bend through her whole body. And some where I intentionally kept her very straight and moved her shoulder over and across, so it was like a partial turn on the haunches, but in motion. So so so cool. I love how many buttons this horse has!! And it's so satisfying working on the skills to push them all.

I don't know if this sudden energy and keenness from her is related to the prednisolone or not -- I'm sure it probably, with the Previcox she's already on, has her whole body feeling darn good -- but whether it's lasting or temporary, I'll take it!! Even if it wears off a bit when the allergy meds stop, at least we'll have used the time to get her in even better condition, so it's still a win.

Can't believe she's turning 25 in less than a week, and still such a rock star!!! 🥰


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## SteadyOn

...And because this is now my new favourite Elle photo, I have to add this as a postscript to last night's ride report.


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## SteadyOn

Good barn outing last night, and an interesting one!

First, grooming Elle, I'm soooo happy to see her summer coat again. She's about 95% shed out. A little winter hair is hanging on to her throatlatch, her lower legs, and her barrel, but overall she's so slick and lovely and shiiiiiiny! I'm much more motivated to give a good grooming when it doesn't feel like I'm shaking out an old dusty, crusty carpet. So I'm into my favourite summer make-her-shiny brushing combo.

-Soft rubber curry mitt
-Good quality body brush with a large surface area and short, medium-firm tight bristles
-New this season: a shaggy microfibre mitt in place of my previous "rub rag." Picks up the last of the dust, dirt, and loose hair, and redistributes oils over the coat for a final polish. The dirtier is gets, the better it works!

Frogs are looking good too. All this dry weather lately has given them a chance to dry right out and tighten up. I'm still squirting Sole Cleanse onto her hind frogs as a maintenance/prevention thing, but I'm quite sure there is no active thrush at all.

She does have a weird scabby patch on her right elbow. This happened for a spell last year, too. I'm wondering if her right hind shoe is aggravating it somehow when she's lying down. It doesn't seem to bother her when I pick at it at least. So I'm wondering if it's not that, and maybe some kind of weird localized rain rot patch or an angry bug bite. Or both.. I loosened what I could and rubbed a big glob of Desitin onto it. That's my "I put that s--- on everything" go-to for skin stuff, and it does work!

As far as riding goes... I'm still trying to decide about the new saddle. I think one of the big differences was that, in my first couple rides in it, I had it had set to medium, which meant that the twist felt wider, and I've always like a slightly wider twist. With the narrow in (the setting that fits Elle, bafflingly) the twist feels narrower so I'm don't have as much support right there. However, the things I need to change in my seat to adapt to this saddle are things I need to do anyhow, and Elle seems perfectly content in it. So if I keep going in it and decide one way or another, later, that's fine too! One issue I was having with it the other night was having my seat bounced to the back of the saddle while transitioning into canter -- especially from walk -- and having to stand in my stirrups for a stride to fix it after. I think this is coming from an unfortunate habit of mine, where I tend to tip forward and hollow my back during the transition. So in this saddle, which really wants me in an upright position with my core engaged, I'm unbalancing myself in a way that I was able to get away with in my old saddle. I did try putting a slight rear riser pad in last night, to see if tipping the saddle to move the low point ever so slightly forward could help, but I don't think I'll do that again as I was too close to the pommel.

Elle was quite perky and zippy again last night. Her default mode, once we got warmed up and going, was zippy trot. But again, it's much easier to channel forward energy and bring it down a little than it is to channel a lack of energy with a poky horse! Again, I'm wondering if the 'roids for her cough are making her feel extra good!! She did cough twice, and the second cough only came after some resistance to canter (she was right on the edge of coughing and canter is what triggers it) but that's still nothing compared to what she was dealing with before the meds.

I am feeling some improvements in my riding lately, now that I'm getting out a lot more often. I'm able to use my legs a little more independently in canter, and my inner thigh muscles are getting a workout (in a good way) as I improve my canter seat. I also need to be absolutely sure that I do a few laps, at least, of no-stirrups trot at the end of every ride to get things nice and open, and to work those core muscles. Last night I played around with my seat and back angles during this, and tried feeling like I was leaning waaaay back, and sitting right back onto my butt cheeks. I suspect it didn't look anywhere near as exaggerated as it felt! It was an odd feeling but I think a helpful one. Especially as I tend to tip forward and hollow my back. This was the opposite. So even if it was too much, it was practice in the right direction, as it should help encourage my body to find a happy medium.

Other notes from the ride: did a little walking around the property before and after. Elle is now great about crossing this little culvert that she would NOT go over before. During our post-ride cool out walk, we approached a fire pit behind the arena that had not been there before. Gasp!! She was definitely concerned about it, and did one little shy. I dealt with it by pretending that our actual destination was fifteen feet to the left of it, and once she was calm again, we were able to ride by it just fine. After the ride, I led her over to it so she could find out if there were cookies for her there for being a brave, inquisitive girl. And there were!!










Fun post-script: when I was grooming her after the ride, I went over her face (which is always itchy post-ride) with the body brush and she starting lipping at it and trying to scratch her lips and mouth against it, and was VERY into it. It was cute and hilarious, from this previously-stoic horse who never did anything playful with people.


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## SteadyOn

Friday was a neat day. It was Elle's 25th birthday -- wow!! -- and also her annual dental and vaccinations! I didn't book that for her birthday on purpose -- in face, when the vet suggested May 27 something was twigging but the relevance didn't occur to me until after. I planned THE WORST birthday party!!! Ahhhh! But at least she's well taken care of.

Before the vet came out, I was going to ride, but it was a dreary day, and I hate riding in the indoor. So I gave Elle a very good grooming, took her out for a little walk, and then free-lunged her in the indoor instead. I figured this would also give me a chance to take some nice pictures of her to mark the occasion.

Well, Elle had fun running around, and cantering over a very small jump, but she missed the memo about the pictures being "nice."









However, we did get this incredibly adorable shot, which is definitely now one of my favourite pictures of her!









I tried to leave enough time for her to be fully cooled out for when the vet arrived, but her heart beat and respiration were still a tad up. Ooooops, my bad. But not so much as to interfere with the exam or dental, thankfully. Some lung sounds from her allergy congestion, but not bad. The meds are doing their job, for the most part. She did have a number of coughs during the lungeing that morning, but it was very humid and the arena is dusty, so, fair. I'm not convinced at all that what Elle has is heaves. I think it really is a seasonal allergy. But we'll see how she does after her current prednisolone ends. If we have to extend it, so be it. It's worth it.

The vet, as soon as she saw her and heard it was her birthday, said "well she looks absolutely incredible for 25!!" and I have to say I agree -- though I am biased! <3 Unfortunately her teeth didn't get that memo, though, as she's got some cavities and sensitivity, and a few of them are on their very last legs. She has two molars and at least two incisors that should probably come out in the very near future, but weren't ready quite yet for extraction. That might happen in the fall, when the vet is hoping to bring a dental specialist up. I'm not too worried about it, as the teeth that need to go aren't really performing any function at this point anyhow. Elle's incisors are incredibly crooked, and worsening every year, so it's possible that removing a few of them will make her jaw a little more mobile anyhow, and improve her comfort a bit. I'm actually impressed that she has all her teeth, still. Well, for now!!









It was, weirdly, really nice to just hang out with her while she came out of sedation. I spent about 80% of her derpy dopey time in her stall with her. There was a little bit of hay still on the floor at the back of it, that I didn't want her to try to eat until she was awake enough not to choke or anything. So I kept her near the stall door with me, just petting her, hanging out, and taking funny pictures of her being stoooooooooooned. She seemed to enjoy my company, at least, in her vulnerable sleepy state. She has come a long way on the affection front since I've been doing my best to spoil her and listen to her over the past couple of years. The sedation made her super sweaty, and drooly. And at one point she hung out with her face kind of in my armpit. Cute!









She had the rest of that day off, of course, and then I rode her last night. It was one of those perfect evenings. Just the right temperature. I wore a tank top so I wouldn't overheat while riding, but there has a cool, comfortable breeze. I did, however, make the mistake of assuming the breeze would keep the mosquitos and blackflies away, so didn't spray either of us. Weeeeelll.... Let's just say we didn't do a whole lot of walking. We made our own breeze!!! Elle was happy and forward, and didn't cough even once! In fact, she was so forward that she "ran away with" me in TROT at one point, and I had to circle her to get her back to walk. 😂 I think the prednisolone is having the side effect of making her feel REEEEEALLLY good physically. Almost too good!! Can't complain though. It's lovely to see and feel her so keen to go go go! I'm also starting to overcome some of the difficulties in adjusting to the new saddle. I was finally able to drop the stirrups a hole, after doing so much work to open my hips. Was very satisfying! And also a lot more comfortable. Although my first right lead canter with the slightly longer stirrup was an unbalanced mess -- but my left lead canter felt great! We even did a couple of flying changes, though we're pretty out of practice with those. Tomorrow we have a biomechanics lesson, so that should be interesting and -- as always -- VERY humbling!!


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## Knave

I always love sedated horses! They are my favorite! Lol. Such lovers.

She does look wonderful!


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## SteadyOn

Yesterday was my biomechanics lesson, and I have to say, it was definitely the best one yet! I was in a good, receptive mood, which probably helped a lot. Whereas the previous one last fall, I was physically exhausted from a 5k run the day before (bad planning), and distracted by Parker, the five year old I’d had some struggles with, being cantered in circles around us by a trainer like it was nothing. I also kept fighting that old saddle.

This time, I hadn’t gone for a run in over three weeks, which was by design, as I didn’t want tightness and tension in my body interfering while I got used to the new saddle. A few important revelations happened in this lesson:

I’m overthinking the saddle change, and trying to make things too different.

I’m trying too hard to stay behind the thigh blocks/knee rolls, instead of using them supportively.

I’m trying too hard to ride long, and needed to go back up a hole to keep adequate bend in my joints.

I’m overcompensating now for some of the problems I’ve been trying to correct: for example, I’m now allowing myself to be left behind during transitions, whereas I used to habitually lean forward. And turning my shoulders too much on turns, because I used to have my left shoulder locked too far forward. And letting my legs go too floppy because they used to be too tense.

Thinking of holding a tea tray on top of my thighs was an absolute revelation: as in, just keeping a supportive lifting tone in those muscles, while still actually keeping my legs down and back.

Part of Elle’s occasional tripping issues could be from me getting off balance at times, and throwing her off balance.

I tend to let my arms and elbows get pulled forward and straight – which the part boarder has a problem with too. Elle can be quite heavy, and her neck is loooong, so it’s easy to have her creep your arms forward.

Other good tips/visuals: thinking of the seat as a hand dribbling a ball, during canter. It has to go down as well as up to stay with the motion. Thinking of holding an orange in front of the ankle and behind the knee to keep the lower leg toned. And during sitting trot, thinking of the seat moving forward constantly with the motion, like it’s on a conveyor belt.

I worked VERY hard in the lesson. I had to dismount to get money for the instructor and I basically oozed off of Elle like a giant slug. Embarrassing, a little, but very funny. Also, it was hot and when I pulled my ponytail out afterwards, my hair was so full of sweat it didn’t even move. Ewwww. I was definitely sweatier than my horse!

I gave Elle a good hosing off afterwards, and let her graze loose a bit. Although she decided she’d rather be inside with everyone else and let herself back into the barn. I think the BO was waiting for a cooler part of the day for turnout. She also had a good roll in the indoor. Love the post-roll shaking noises, and the lick and snort:






Anyhow, I was iffy about having that lesson, initially, but now I’m soooo glad I did!! It made a lot of things make a lot more sense, and is probably one of the most valuable lessons I could have possibly had at this point in my riding!


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## SteadyOn

Absolutely lovely ride last night! I wasn't even sure it was going to happen, as yesterday was an election here, and they were having technical difficulties at my voting station, so I wasn't able to cast my vote before heading into town to work all day covering a shift away from my store. I knew I would have to make it home in time to vote after my ride, so it was tight. But I managed, and I'm glad I did!!

The boarder I've been having friction with wasn't there. Often she is if I'm there too early in the evening, so it was a relief not to have that added stress. Not too many developments on that front lately, thankfully. She's stopped turning her horses out in weird, inconvenient places, at least, so there's not much to have friction over. I have noticed that I'm missing a couple things -- like a nearly full container of Swat that I haven't used since last season -- and while it's more likely than anything else that I've just misplaced it, I have to wonder... Some other people's things have "mysteriously" appeared in her locker. So the other night, I took a Sharpie and some labels and put my name on every product I own, like some kind of unhinged kindergarten teacher. Better safe than sorry!!!

The only thing that compromised the ride a little was one of the horses being out "free range" to graze. (He's an old man who just hangs out loose behind the barn, grazing freely to keep weight on him.) I tried to catch him to pop him in his stall so we could ride out without him following us the whole time, but he kept running away from me, so I scratched the riding-in-the-open portion of the ride, for the most part. It was still a great ride though!

To compound the problem, actually, the barn owner turned the old boy's pasture mate out loose with him when I had just mounted Elle and was trying to ride through that area. This second gelding is a bit twitterpated with her, but fortunately he was more bent on grazing than flirting. In her defense, I don't think she realized we were RIGHT there! We did manage a lap around the outside of the big outdoor arena with Old Boy #1 following us, but at a very healthy distance.

After that, it was straight into trot, as the mosquitos were awful. I had sprayed Elle, but forgot to spray myself!! Naturally. Fabulous ride though! Elle was ON, and I was doing my best, too, to incorporate the changes made in my biomechanics lesson. I just couldn't seem to access those "tea tray holding" muscles in the tops of my thighs, though. I wonder if they were STILL worn out from Monday's lesson!! I could feel that my lower legs were a bit farther back this time, which was great, and my upper body felt more solid and engaged.

The canter work felt lovely as well. I'm still having a bit of that problem of feeling bounced back in my seat during the transition, but it's getting better with every ride. The dribbling-a-ball visual certainly helps with my tendency to bounce too much in canter, too.

At one point, picking up the canter on the long side while we were tracking left, we got the wrong lead but I decided to just stay with it and see if we could manage a whole lap of counter canter. And we did!! Her right lead, going left, is her better direction, and we managed to sustain it the whole way and even take the corners relatively deeply. The other direction is much more challenging for her, but to my surprise and delight, I managed to pick up a left lead the first try, by going around the corner into the long side with a slight counterbend in trot, first. We made it 3/4 of the way around in counter canter, with a more shallow approach to the corners than we had the other way, before we lost it. But that was GREAT for us! Especially having not practiced it at all lately.

Went on to do lots of transitions between trot and canter, on the rail and on a large circle. Did this to get her off her forehand, and thinking more. It also makes her more comfortable to ride, heh! Then rode some big random curves around the ring in canter, getting some flying changes when we changed directions.

All in all a fantastic ride! Would have loved to have stayed out there hacking and poking around all night, but the mosquitos were dreadful and I had to get back and vote (which I did). I let Elle go graze loose while I tidied up and got ready to go, and she did her own thing, before eventually hanging out and grazing next to her would-be boyfriend. They've never been turned out together, but they had lots of space, and are both chill horses, so they were immediately happy to be near one another.

My confidence on her has really come a long way, and my default state these days is trusting and calm, not rattled and timid. Her confidence has come a long way too, with being ridden out and around, and encountering new things. We're in a very good place, and it just gets better! Last night I had that good kind of heartache, when things are sooo good and you just want them to go that way forever, but also know that all things are going to end eventually. For a horse who's 25 though, she's doing splendidly, so hopefully she keeps going so nicely for a very long time to come. In the meantime, I definitely treasure every ride and visit with her.


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## SteadyOn

Bit of a weird evening last night. I hadn't been out to see or ride Elle since Saturday, just too much going on and some bad weather, so I was excited to get out there last night. I thought she might be at least a little bit happy to see me, but she was completely indifferent to me when I went over to her stall, and just kept munching her hay like "ugh, whatever." I put her in the cross ties and she was still unenthused, just standing here with her ears a bit flopped and very "meh." Nothing seemed wrong though otherwise, so I gave her a good grooming and starting putting her boots on. Well, as I was doing that, a huuuuuge wet poop came out of her. Big sloppy cow patty. Ugh! Not normal for her at all. So it suddenly made sense that she wasn't very perky. No idea what might have triggered it. Maybe just too much pigging out on grass? Or a new hay bale? Or something? She's not usually that sensitive, though.

Since I had her boots most of the way on, I went ahead and finished putting them on. Decided to take her for a walk and then try free-lungeing to assess how she was feeling. During the walk, she kept trying to pull to the grass and sneak in bites and was generally a bit more awake. I still called my coach though and cancelled the lesson for the following morning, to be on the safe side.

After a good ten minute walk, I turned her loose in the arena and free-lunged. She was, unsurprisingly, really pokey and not feeling it at all. However, after a few minutes I had an inkling that she had a big buck-fart somewhere in there, and if I could coax it out, she'd perk up and shift into a different gear. Sure enough... she did, and she did.

There was a good tear before I started filming, so she's not as zoomy here (and the "fix it" is because she was cross-firing, which she only ever does when she's being zoomy at liberty). Love the lighter, rich coppery colour of her summer coat! And she's got some dappling and an awesome shine right now.






Wouldn't know she was feeling off, I don't think!

After zipping around, she brightened right up and her personality came back. So I thought, well, movement seems to be good for her, so... I threw the bareback pad on and rode for maybe 20 minutes. Walked around a bit, did some trot and canter in the arena (including one fairly awful flying change, but I was impressed that we managed it with no saddle). She seemed happy, and was also farting A LOT so I think the exercise was helping her system work through some things. She did another big wet gross poop in the cross ties again after, but again, her mood was 100% better than before, so I think/hope the exercise was the right call. I'll follow up with the BO today and see how she's feeling and how her stall looked this morning.


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## SteadyOn

Update: yeah she's back to normal this morning. BO thinks it was a combination of her being very much in heat, and being out for a longer time on the grass yesterday. Glad it was minor!


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## SteadyOn

A nice ride tonight, with no one else around the entire time I was there. While it is nice to see people sometimes, it's also nice to just be alone with the horses!

Elle was pretty chill. She looked like she was nodding off in the cross-ties while I got her ready. She's been a bit unenthused about her cookies lately. I think there are two reasons for this. One, that she's on so much grass that she's less intrigued by lesser foodstuffs. Two, that I recently bought an ENORMOUS bag of these particular treats, so of course she has to start turning her nose up at them.










(I swear the bell boots fit better than they appear to here!!)

We worked on forwardness during the ride. She was pretty good though! Just trying to get her more in front of my leg lately, especially now that she's no longer constantly dealing with the need to cough. And once she's going well, I can fiddle with improving my position without having to keep pumping the gas pedal, so to speak.

My personal riding hang-up lately, that I'm making worse by overthinking, has been my right lead canter transition on her. For some reason, newly, my butt is sliding to the back of the saddle during the transition!! I know it's not the change of saddle, because it doesn't happen on the left lead. And it wasn't an issue for weeks in this saddle. Apparently my body just wants to find fun new ways to mess things up!!

I have discovered, however, that it doesn't happen if I start out on a left lead and do a flying change to the right. So I think, to regain some stamina and muscle memory in the right lead, I can use that cheat. I also think that she's maybe not moving out enough on the right lead -- more of an up and down motion than a forward and out motion -- so I need to get a better canter from her to be able to sit it better.

I broke up the arena riding a little by doing walk laps around the outside of the arena, including a little bank we can ride up or down. I also tried cantering her up a little path towards the barn, but she wouldn't break from trot. Almost like she was admonishing me for encouraging her to run home!!

I also did some no-stirrups trot for the first time in a while, too, and then cooled her out by hacking her around a little outside the ring without my stirrups. She was a little looky about a few things, but didn't actually DO anything, which was great! I'm not afraid to hold the grab strap if she gets the radar ears and gets hesitant. But she's been great lately, so it's really a just-in-case thing.

I also decided, for some unknown reason, to try dismounting to the right. I hadn't ever done it on her, and wondered if I could pull it off. It was, uhhhhhhh, AWFUL. Elle was a total rock, and just stood there unbothered. But I fully levered my entire left leg against her rump several times, to shuffle my body around, and when I finally landed on my feet, it was like they and my whole body had no idea where they were in relation to the horse. Or to balance. Or gravity. I did manage not to fall, but only barely. Aaaaand now I know how it feels to dismount for the first time with no practice, apparently! And also that my horse is quite tall. Sigh! I'm not a graceful dismounter at the best of times, but this was special!!

After my ride, I used Elle as a saddle stand to give my dressage saddle a quick clean. It's easier to get at the billets, etc., while it's still on her!! I then gave Elle a quick grooming and then turned her loose to graze while I went outside and did a deep clean of her poor, neglected, super filthy bridle and reins. They'll need a good conditioning, still, but baby steps. It's a really nice Kieffer dressage bridle and deserves better care than I give it! On the plus side, because it's nice leather, it's also forgiving!!

And that was my night! Quite a nice one, and I'm really feeling good and relaxed in my rides, of late!


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## whisperbaby22

As a trail rider I have to know how to get off and on from the off side. I now ride in a groomed park and never have to do it, but yes, it's crazy how difficult it is. I, too, am all over the place. It helps to just go real slow and try to think of what you would be doing on the near side.


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## SteadyOn

I played hooky this morning from work, and went for a ride somewhat spontaneously. My next ride wasn't supposed to be until tomorrow evening, but I knew the part-boarder wasn't going today, and work was quiet, and it was sooooooo nice out!!

I haven't been out there during the day in quite some time. The days are so long right now that I've just been going out after supper. Plus evenings have the side bonus of me not running into that boarder with whom I've had some friction. However, this morning she wasn't there. Just two ladies with whom I get along, and who were busy doing their own thing. So it was quite pleasant!

It was sunny, and warm, and getting warmer. Elle was poky, and I didn't want to make her do too much ring work and work up a sweat. So we did some trot and canter. Elle nearly face planted tripping over some oddly placed trot poles as we warmed up -- whoops! -- but got some nice, brief work done otherwise. Did a shorter than normal walk warm-up because the deer flies were out and were gunning for us, but at least she had already been turned out.

I feel like my position is improving steadily in the new saddle, and in general. I'm trying actively to get off the fork of my seat. I've taken to thinking of a slightly horrible -- but honestly pretty effective -- visual that I've come up with on my own. Which is that I have a tiny baby bird on my saddle, under the front of my crotch, and that if I roll forward onto that part, I will crush the bird. It's helping me sit deep, not bounce, and is also helping to keep my seat still when I do that tricky right lead transition. I'm also finding it helpful to work on those transitions earlier in the ride, rather than later, while I'm still fresh.

After some trot and canter work, I walked her over some of the itty bitty jumps in the arena, just to get her lifting her legs nice and high. Then we left the arena and hacked out a bit, just around the property. Walked through some scrub at the back of the property, including some squishy footing that Elle would have HATED a year or two ago. But she was great. We also trotted down a good long part of the straight long driveway that runs beside the property. I'd only ever walked on her down that, so that was nice. I also rode her up a steep little bank beside one of the paddocks, that we hadn't ridden up before. She was good good good. She only had one little "moment" when a cat started moving in and out of the undergrowth in a spot she was already hesitant to walk through. Elle kept it together, despite giving all the indications that she would love nothing better than to turn around and book it out of there. Instead she just very slowly started moving backwards. Instead of making her go through there, I just slowly turned her around and walked her out of that spot. She had already done so well!

So, a short ride, but one that made me happy! We're making nice slow but steady progress expanding our horizons a little, and it's nice.


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## SteadyOn

I rode Friday night and last night. Both interesting rides/barn visits for their own reasons.

Actually, Friday I got to leave work early to go to the barn, yay!! Sadly, it was SOOO windy out that I wasn't able to do much riding-wise. I actually thought, initially, I would just free-lunge Elle because it was soooo gusty. Figured she'd be fresh, but she was unbelievably pokey and didn't care one bit about the wind!! So I saddled up Elle and got on. But the wind picked up even more, and while I wasn't worried about her reacting to much, I still had it in the back of my head that jump standards in the ring could suddenly blow over (some were already down from the wind) and even the most sensible horse couldn't be blamed for a big spook at that. Nothing actually happened, but I was definitely tense and stiff (and my lower back has been stiff lately, too) and didn't want to log a tense ride when we've both been so happy and relaxed lately. So I only rode for 15 minutes max, before deciding to call it.

After that, I fiiiiiinally pulled my bridle apart, cleaned it all meticulously (after having done a first pass getting the real grime off of it last week), let it dry, and conditioned it really well with a lot of Passier Lederbalsam. Looked and felt much better! I'm still finding the combination web/leather reins that came with that bridle to be annoying to clean, so next time I'm feeling flush I think I might spring for these:









FFE Padded Leather with Stoppers


Lightweight, padded leather reins with stoppers offer a soft, luxurious feel




greenhawk.com





Can't justify it yet though as between her dental, her allergy meds, and new shoes on all four feet, Elle has not been cheap this month!!!

A side note on the shoe thing: can't remember if I've written about that on here before, but that drives me a little batty and is one of the main things I dislike about where I board. Elle has always been a happily barefoot horse, and has amazing feet. Buuuuuut. The outdoor arena "sand" is a fine gravel that is so abrasive, it wears her toes excessively, especially in the back feet, and bullnoses them. (edited to clarify: so she does need shoes for that footing.) Siiiigh. So, it's $210 to $260 every six weeks during outdoor riding season just for that. _eye twitch_ Combined with the distance I have to drive to get there, and the price of gas right now, she is NOT a cheap friend to have this year. Argghhhh!! Worth it though. I wish there were somewhere closer that I could board her, but there are literally NO options here.

Anyhow, last night's ride was a completely different story from Friday's. It was sunny and, while there were some significant gusts, mostly not too windy. Bugs weren't terrible either. Really a lovely night for a ride! My back was still feeling really stiff, so I opted to take my medicine, so to speak, and do my ride in the bareback pad. That way I wouldn't be able to do any bracing in the stirrups or other compensation moves that I often do in the saddle when my body isn't feeling fluid.

I rode for about 50 minutes total, which is a lot for me in the bareback pad! First half of the ride was just hacking around the property at a walk. Despite the wind gusts, Elle only did one barely-detectable startle in place. Not sure most people would have even noticed it. She did raise her head a little and lock her ears ahead of her a few times. That used to freak me out and get me worrying about potential spooking, which would then get her more worried, but we're working on that and making a lot of progress. Now I just do a little flexion left and right until an ear flicks back and her head drops a little, while keeping my leg on and asking her to continue forward with confidence. Much more effective than backing off, which just seems to confirm for her that there's something to worry about.

Once we hit the ring, I did about 20-25 minutes including a lot of trot and canter work. I was a bit stiff at first, and she kept dropping out of the gaits in confusion at that, but we got through it and I eventually loosened up a lot. I didn't have that right lead canter problem that I've been having in the saddle, so it was great to be able to work on that. Our transitions weren't pretty, and our steering during the transitions was especially not pretty, but over all it felt really good. I had one silly moment of coming a little bit unbalanced when she sped up her trot more than expected when I put my leg on, but that kind of responsiveness is a good thing so I can't be mad at that! Just need to keep working on myself.

At the end of the ride, trying to dismount was... awkward. My muscles had worked so hard that, once they stopped, they were jelly. Muttered to Elle that she should try being shorter for once, before slithering to the ground like a dying slug.

Tried to get a nice picture of her looking shiny in the sunlight, but her face refused to cooperate. Still, hey, shiiiiiny!!


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## Knave

I’m blown away by the cost of your barefoot trim! Wow!


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## SteadyOn

Knave said:


> I’m blown away by the cost of your barefoot trim! Wow!


Oh sorry, whoops, I see I phrased that badly! I meant she’s normally good barefoot but because of the footing in the outdoor ar this place she has to have shoes. On all four. Sigh! So just one more expense/inconvenience.

I suppose I might be willing to pay that much for the most amazing barefoot trimmer in the world, but unfortunately we don’t have that here!!


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## Knave

Okay, that makes sense. That is still a huge cost! If I could make good money on barefoot trims I might be willing to do outside horses. Lol. Of course, in my world with rocks and gravel and difficult terrain, I am the only person who maintains any barefoot horses. Surprisingly three of our five riding horses are excellent barefoot.


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## SteadyOn

Knave said:


> Okay, that makes sense. That is still a huge cost! If I could make good money on barefoot trims I might be willing to do outside horses. Lol. Of course, in my world with rocks and gravel and difficult terrain, I am the only person who maintains any barefoot horses. Surprisingly three of our five riding horses are excellent barefoot.


Yeah it's brutal here. And of course, it has to be the BACK feet that wear the most on her. So shoes on all four are mandatory, blurrgghhhh, since you can't just shoe the back. It's not even a sensitivity issue -- she doesn't get sore -- she just drags her back toes (long-bodied, arthritic horsey problems) a lot and... bam, front half of hoof worn away unless a shoe is there to stop it.

Any time she costs me extra $$ I just have to remind myself that her purchase price was $1 and she's still, by far, the best horse I've ever ridden. Any extra fees still don't add up to even close to what she is worth (at least to me!).


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## SteadyOn

Here’s a snap shot of her back feet from her first summer there, when it became apparent that she NEEDED back shoes, so on they went this day. Yiiiiiiiiikes. She was still moving totally soundly like this, but… Oof.

I am happy to report that they are now normal-hoof-shaped!! Also her feet look a lot healthier in general now. Really nice smooth growth, with a smooth, even periople. I think the dietary change I made for her helped a lot too!


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## Knave

That is not what I was expecting! Wow! When you said that my head figured she really just was too long with a bad trim. Yep, not the case!


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## SteadyOn

This morning I learned that two 45+ minute bareback pad rides less than 48 hours apart is probably too many, haaaa. My body was a lot less balanced because I think my muscles were tired out from Saturday night. Fortunately I didn't come tooooo badly unbalanced, and while I caught Elle in the mouth a touch, a couple of times, I didn't feel too badly about it because she was being rushy and bargey a lot this morning and pulling on me. :/ Not horribly, and it's not totally out of character for her, but it wasn't helping things.

She's so funny. I got on her in the bareback pad from a picnic table outside, and she immediately marched on up the driveway, keen, ears pricked. We even passed a big snapping turtle there that was doing its best impression of a rock as we rode past. But when we got to the long straightaway part of it, Elle was being fussy about not wanting to walk on the coarse gravel. I don't think she's actually ouchy on it. I think it's more of a texture thing. She's weird, anyhow. So I let her walk in the grass a ways before turning back because of the bugs.

We marched around for a while through very tall grass, outside the riding rings, before starting in to ring work. It took me a bit to find my balance again in trot, but I got there. She had a much more forward canter today, but this was a good thing as she tends to do this little babysitter "are you sure??" four-beat lope when I'm on her bareback. I felt good on her in the left lead, but by the time we got to the right lead, she had quite a cough brewing and didn't want to go until she'd gotten that out of her system. Once we did get going, I had that same darn problem, even WITHOUT A SADDLE, of wanting to lock up and tip forward during the right lead canter depart. So obviously this is very much a ME thing. My right mid-to-lower back has been really stiff lately, down into my hip. The problem? Something I'm doing in my sleep, I think. Seriously. Getting older is awesome!!

After some persistence I was finally able to ride through it and get some good following motion out of my body on that right lead. I decided on quality over quantity!! So just worked on getting down the long side a couple of times with my seat following instead of bracing.

At the end of the ride, I tried to walk her up the driveway a little -- please note, the exact SAME part of the driveway she had marched up so eagerly at the beginning -- but now two ponies were turned out in the paddock to the left and she decided to act like they were going to MURDER her if she got close to them. Gee, was she actually scared of them, orrrr was she more afraid that I wanted her to keep working???  She was clearly done with all this bareback pad crap, haha. She did the whole raised head, ears pricked, walk-only-backwards thing about the ponies, and I didn't feel like I had a lot of recourse to make her go, having no saddle and relying on trusting her up to that point. I settled for getting a few forward steps that were vaguely in that direction before hopping off. She hadn't had a reaction like that in a while, and I don't think she enjoyed the bareback outing so soon after the last one, so I cut her a little slack.

After I dismounted, I led her over to the ponies, gave her a cookie, and she let out a lot of tension with lots of blowing and licking and chewing. Not sure why she got SO worked up about that, but whatever. She does that kind of thing about 95% less than she used to, so one blip is no big deal!!! Over all, the ride was very confident and relaxed for both of us, to that point, so I'm happy.

Regarding her cough/allergies, her prednisolone for it ran out a few days ago, but it was only meant to be a short term thing. One or two clearing coughs in a ride is pretty normal for her, and it was VERY dusty in the air this morning. But if it comes back with a vengeance or anything, I'll get her back on it. Fingers crossed though!!


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## SteadyOn

Had a lesson on Wednesday morning. It was my first proper lesson with my regular coach, this year. She had come out in early March to help me assess saddle fit, and we did a partial lesson then, but that was it. After that? Just... chaos. Waiting for spring. Waiting for time. Waiting to get in better shape. Waiting to sort out Elle's cough. Etc.. But we finally managed it!

Although we almost didn't, for the most bizarre reasons possible. In short I'm probably at the end of my rope with where I board. And the final straw is a weird one. Is it the irregular turnout? The lack of bedding? The gritty footing that means I spend a fortune on shoes when Elle should really be barefoot? No, it was a tent. Let me explain.

This past weekend, I went out to ride, and there was a huuuuuge camping tent popped up in one end of the indoor arena. There were also a bunch of car tools and a car bumper in there. Umm. Okaaaay. The BO's foster son (who is around 20) had camped out there with his girlfriend. And had been working on his truck. Not exactly the proscribed use of the indoor riding ring at a boarding facility, but the weather was nice so I guess there hadn't been a rush to dismantle it. I let that go as a weird one-off. Well.

I got there for my lesson just before 8am. I walk in to a completely dark barn, and the BO is in there sweating, with fans going all over, and immediately exclaims that it's far too hot for a lesson and she'll be bringing all the horses in again shortly. I said "Uhhhh... You know it's only 22 (72F), right??" She said we had better do the lesson in the indoor because it would be cooler in there. I was certainly NOT going to do that, but I poked my head in the indoor anyhow. Two ponies are turned out in there... and there's STILL THE FREAKING TENT, not to mention the car bumper, etc. The indoor is itty bitty to begin with, but with one whole end taken up by round bales, random junk, a car bumper, and a giant tent, it's useless.

Anyhow. We ignored the BO and had a wonderful lesson outside. When my coach (Elle's old owner) saw her, she said wow, look at the shape of her!! She was very impressed with how Elle's looking. We spent the lesson working more on the horse than on me -- which is absolutely fine by me because I need eyes on the ground to look at her and tell me what she is or isn't doing, and what kind of, basically, physio she needs to keep her fit and sound. She's been a bit draggy with her back feet, while moving out a lot with her front feet, so we worked on getting her to move out and then getting her shoulders and front legs slowed down a bit while keeping the hind end active underneath her. She felt really good! We did some pole work and canter work, after which she shifted gears into this lovely, active, rounded trot that was nicely in front of my leg. We stumbled through some raised poles -- at which we were quite out of practice!! -- and again, that answer to conquering those was to engage her hind end more and slow her front end down a bit so it could catch up, haha.

This too was the reason for my weird pitching-forward during the canter transition. She was strung out in front, and not using herself well in the transition, so it was pitching me a bit. And because it had happened so much, I was using my body defensively and bracing, which made it a foregone conclusion. Over all though my canter seat -- and my seat in general -- felt really good! But wow was it ever EXHAUSTING! (And not because of the "heat," good lord.) I obviously need my butt kicked more often!

After my ride, I hosed Elle off. While we were waiting for the hose, she "visited" with the ponies in the indoor, LOL.






(I posted this in another thread, but it's worth reposting!!)

Anyhow, back to the whole tent thing... I really thought the BO got many of my frustrations, but the continued existence of the tent in the indoor, with her insisting that we ride in there anyhow, was this moment of clarity that... yeah, I'm done. These things just don't happen in a sane world. That, combined with Elle being sour in that tiny indoor anyhow, the lack of adequate bedding, the horses being kept in any time it's slightly cold, slightly warm, or there are flies or a single rain drop... that nonsensical fussiness... Yeah, no. There's a lot to like but there are constantly more things to dislike. I contacted three places today to inquire about boarding. Sigh. We'll seeeeeee.


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## SteadyOn

A short update! I haven't ridden since my lesson (that I already posted about!) on Wednesday, although my muscles are still feeling it!!

I was going to ride this morning, but had a text last night from the BO saying Elle was very lame on her front left when she came in for the evening. She checked everything over, and couldn't find any heat or injury in the leg or foot. After bringing-in, she seemed normal on it. She gave her some Bute, at my request.

I still went out this morning, and Elle was apparently moving just fine during turnout. Hopefully she just did something silly and minor. However... I was haunted all night with nightmares about her being extremely lame, and it somehow being my fault. Along with the other usual anxiety themes of my recurring nightmares, like overdue school assignments (despite not having had any for the past 16 years or so) and trying to go on a trip with an expired passport. The reason for the anxiety nightmares? Twine.

To be more specific, years' worth of old baling twine has been working its way out of the ground in Elle's turnout paddock, somewhat like the skeletons in the pool from Poltergeist. Each piece emerges as a small loop, anchored at either end into the earth. Each loop is a potential tripping hazard -- especially to Elle, who has shoes on all four feet. I had recently gone out and gotten some of it, with some scissors, but it was only a drop in the bucket.

Well, this morning, having decided not to ride for a few days, just in case, I took my scissors and hit the paddock. HARD. Here were the results.










Was this my job to do? Nope. Was it going to ever get done if I hadn't been the one to do it? Also nope. My BO, despite her many great qualities, has some truly bizarre blind spots. 

As a side note, my left hand is now covered in blisters from reaching in to thistles to pull up the twine. Yay.

In better news, the truly horrible boarder, that I have briefly complained about before, has been given notice. She's had months too many already, but the BO didn't want to give her the boot while her foals are too young. This is the boarder who monopolizes every aspect of the barn, causes messes and drama, and neglects her horses and foals. Good bye and good riddance.

I am, however, still hoping to find something new before the winter. Even if the circumstances were otherwise perfect (and they're definitely not), Elle HATES the indoor arena. And I hate trying to ride her in it. We need a new situation. I contacted three or four places on Thursday, and only ONE has gotten back to me. And that one is already full, with a waiting list. Still, I'll go see them this week. It looks great, and who knows!! If something came up, I'd likely move there in a heart beat. Nice clean paddocks. Nice clean barn. New shelters, new fencing, and a gorgeous sand indoor with a new, REAL roof. It might never happen, but oh man, if it could!!

Cross your fingers and toes for me, please!!


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## SteadyOn

Wow, it's been an interesting week, for sure. It went from looking, last Thursday, like I might not find something suitable/in budget before the winter, to suddenly having a pile of options. I guess that's what happens in a business where people give just 30 days notice, riiiiiiiight around the end of the month!

On Monday night I went out to see a place that's a little more money and about ten or so minutes farther away. I REALLY didn't want to consider a place that took even longer to get to. And I don't want to be spending more than I already am. However... it's nice. REALLY nice. Clean, organized, knowledgeable, with softly padded stalls, a heated tack room, a heated lounge, a BIIIIIG indoor with great footing... A bit of hacking through some fields and paths. And more and more and more. I went into more detail about it all in a thread here: Contemplating a move... but it's so hard!!

I hadn't wanted to move until the fall. I don't feel good about moving her away from my part boarder with just a month's notice. However, the good of the horse has to come first, and it's rapidly becoming not-so-good. Things like the twine in the field, and random junk around the place are safety hazards that are going to hurt my horse at some point. It's a when, not an if.

Also, that nightmare boarder whom I am trying my darnedest to avoid completely? She was given notice on Friday... but now might not be leaving because there is literally no one else who will take her and her horses. The owner of the place might let her stay if she agrees to full board instead of self care. I suppose it would mean that she'd be there a lot less, and less able to cause drama, but that's still not really good enough for me. :/

Anyhow. Back to what's been happening this week. Saw the gorgeous place. For many reasons, it actually doesn't change my budget really to move her there! I talked to my coach about it, and she seemed to think it would be a good fit and that I shouldn't have a problem finding a new part boarder. I sent the owner of the place an informal message over Messenger to say I'd like to move there. Yay!!

Then yesterday afternoon... another place with a nice facility, and a nice indoor, that's 10-15 minutes closer messaged me to say they had space coming up for August. Oh man. I don't like to go back on my word, but nothing was official yet, and I figured I'd better at least go have a look. Even if it wasn't right for this move, it could be right for a future one!

I liked a lot about it. Really nice indoor arena. Nice big stalls. Big, airy barn. However, the dealbreakers for me were the footing in the outdoor arena -- a bit too gravelly, like where she is, so I'd be worried about needing shoes for her. And the turnout paddocks were small and, even in the dry weather we've been having, on the muddy side. Having been in a constant fight against thrush in Elle's back feet, that's not very appealing. Plus the turnout hours were on the short side -- which isn't the worst IF they at least have some room to blow off some steam and interact. But they wouldn't. Pluses, however, were that part-boards were in high demand there, and lessons are mandatory. So she'd have someone riding her right away, with eyes on the ground regularly. Felt like too much of a lateral move though, instead of a major improvement to the current situation.

And THEN, this morning, another place that's even closer emailed to say they could squeeze me in for September. However, their board has gone right up to nearly $1000 a month, and they don't have eager part-boarders there, so I don't know when/if I'd be able to get someone. And I think it would be a tough sell to find someone willing to split THAT much board. Oof.

Soooo, sticking with Plan A! My gut feeling is that it's the best move. Helps that I also don't want to go back on my word, though I hadn't progressed so far with that option that I think it would have been the end of the world.

I was also actually supposed to go see ANOTHER place tonight, but rescheduled. They definitely don't have room right now, and don't expect to any time soon, but I'd still like to go see it. Always good to have secondary options if things don't work well at the new place!!

Still have to break the news to my barn owner. I went out and rode yesterday morning, and would have done it then, but she wasn't there. Would prefer to do it in person, but with the crappy weather I'm not sure I'll get out there to do that. I'll likely call her this afternoon or this evening instead. Not looking forward to it.  Also not looking forward to breaking the news to my amazing part-boarder -- who is on a camping trip until the weekend, so sadly she'll be the last to know. Nothing I can really do about that, though. The timing is unfortunate, but I'll feel a lot better with all of this behind me!!


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## whisperbaby22

This is interesting. With the economy in change, I am seeing free horses more frequently in my area. I think you are going to have more choices going forward, but yea, the twine thing would have me out of there fast.


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## SteadyOn

Well, last night I finally managed to give notice.

First though, I rode. I was nervous when I got to the barn, as I hate having difficult conversations. The BO wasn't around yet, though, so I figured I'd just hang around after until I got a chance to talk to her.

Unfortunately the ride was... not the best. I forgot to fly spray Elle and myself, so we were getting a lot of mosquito bites. Because of that, I didn't do as long a walk warm-up as I like to, before picking up trot. However, her trot just... never really got good. She was a bit slow and uneven. Tripped a lot, and coughed quite a bit. Basically, she felt like she did before we started the prednisolone.

Knowing it was allergy discomfort and not true lameness, I did my best to _gently_ push her as much as I could. In hindsight I think it would have been best to have, well, fly sprayed her of course, but also given her some Respi-Free before I got her ready, so it could have had time to help a bit. _If_ it would have helped. Also, I should have done a longer walk break, and also cantered her earlier in the ride to free up the lung goo, and get her whole body moving more. By the end of the ride though she had loosened up some, and I got some really nice canter, too.

If she needs it, I'll put her back on the prednisolone, but she's been almost two weeks without it now, and this has been the first ride where she's struggled. Actually, a horse at the barn with bad, allergy-driven heaves was having an attack and really struggling to breathe, out of the blue, at the exact same time last night -- and he IS on prednisolone and Respi-Free, and had been doing better. Maybe the air quality was just lousy for some reason. Well, we'll see!!

Anyhow, I gave notice to the BO after. She was surprised and disappointed, I could tell. Possibly a little offended, but not too badly. She did want to know where we were off to, and why. I don't think she agreed that the indoor arena is too small for us, but like... it _is_. My horse is 25. Tiny little repetitive circles are hard on her, and harder on her every year. Plus we'd like to hack more, and there's room for that at the new place. When she found out where, she said I might not be happy there. But she has -- pardon the saying, heh -- a horse in this race, so it's not exactly an unbiased opinion. On a positive note, she said we're welcome back any time if things don't work out, and that she's happy to be a good reference for me. We were back to chatting as usual afterwards.

My part boarder is still on vacation. I do still feel especially bad about having to break the news to her. But again, just have to keep reminding myself that it's not just about me, or about her -- it's about what's going to be best for the horse, and she'll be healthier and happier in the new setting. At least, fingers crossed!!


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## knightrider

Why can't your part boarder continue to ride her at the new place? Maybe you already explained that and I missed it.


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## SteadyOn

knightrider said:


> Why can't your part boarder continue to ride her at the new place? Maybe you already explained that and I missed it.


I would absolutely love for her to come along, but unfortunately, I'm moving Elle about as far from her as possible.  I currently drive nearly 40 minutes north to get there. It's just 10 minutes for the part boarder. After the move, Elle will be 45-50 minutes... south of me. So it would be well over an hour each way for the part boarder to get there.


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## SteadyOn

And honestly... I tried. The one place that I looked at, but that ultimately decided against taking on a new boarder, would have only been 20 minutes for her. And then there was one that would have been maybe 30 minutes, but it's nearly $1000 a month. 😕 Unfortunately there's just... nothing.


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## SteadyOn

Yesterday began with a lovely morning ride. The barn was empty when I got there, but one of the boarders who helps out and feeds in the morning arrived just as I was finishing tacking up Elle. Unfortunately Elle knew this person meant BREAKFAST, and I didn't have time to wait for Elle to eat before her ride (though she'd had some hay), which meant she glanced pointedly at the barn any moment she could during our ride. 😂

I did remember to give Elle some Respi-Free about 20 minutes before the ride. Hard to know if it really helped or not, but she did cough a bit less, and seemed less bothered, generally, by the need to cough. With less coughing came less tripping, too, as the two are definitely related for whatever reason. I'll hold off on getting more prednisolone for now, as the weeks before the move will fly by, I expect, and by that point in the season the allergies should be well and truly over for her. The amount of tripping she's been doing with her back end concerns me a bit, but again, I'll wait and see what happens. I think the improvement in footing at the new place, and being able to pull her shoes, could help with that as well.

During the ride, there was a big doe grazing outside one end of the outdoor ring. A year or two ago, that would have upset me and made me paranoid during the ride. Now, though? I had Elle walk right up to the fence and have a good look. And then the deer spun around and bobbed into the woods with its tail flashing, Elle did just the smallest startle but kept her head. I was very proud of both of us!! I also definitely had my hand on the grab strap, but wouldn't have needed it. It certainly IS nice to have one, though!!

I'm also happy to report that my right lead canter issue seems to be resolving itself. I had actually quite forgotten to think about it during our first few transitions -- which is probably why it didn't happen!! Ha!

Also, I broke the news to my part-boarder over the phone yesterday. I blundered in that I did it while she was out running errands in a store -- ack!! -- but I had no idea as there was no background noise and she didn't tell me that until I had already started into the subject. Leaving her hanging would have been worse.  Anyhow, she took it extremely well. Couldn't have been more gracious or perfect about it -- which is just one more reason I'm sad to lose her!! She's been perfect and wonderful to deal with! She was definitely sad but she completely understood why I'd want to move her. She said she's just grateful to have had so much time to ride such a wonderful horse. I got off the phone before both of us started crying. Whew. Did have a little cry afterwards though. Partly because I'm sad for her, and partly out of relief at facing the task of telling her. I've always struggled at delivered bad news to people. But I'm proud of myself for giving notice as maturely as possible to her and to the BO this week. Younger me would be astonished!


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## tinyliny

I remember when the owner of the horse I had part leased for almost 7 years told me, ( and it happened while I was out on vacation) that she was moving him and he'd be moved and gone by the time I got back. I was really upset. She did not even ask if I wanted to 'follow' him to the new location. She had her reasons, but did not explain them to me until months later. So, for months I was left wondering if I'd done something wrong. Now the air is cleared and we are friends again. But, she was so worried about how I'd feel about it that she didn't tell me about it until the last minuted, and that was not cool . So, you are doing the best to speak openly as soon as possible.


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## SteadyOn

tinyliny said:


> I remember when the owner of the horse I had part leased for almost 7 years told me, ( and it happened while I was out on vacation) that she was moving him and he'd be moved and gone by the time I got back. I was really upset. She did not even ask if I wanted to 'follow' him to the new location. She had her reasons, but did not explain them to me until months later. So, for months I was left wondering if I'd done something wrong. Now the air is cleared and we are friends again. But, she was so worried about how I'd feel about it that she didn't tell me about it until the last minuted, and that was not cool . So, you are doing the best to speak openly as soon as possible.


Oh noooooooo, that is awful!! Beyond awful. I am so sorry.

If circumstances had been different with mine, I would have given her a heads up, and I would have told her before anyone else, even the BO. But she was off in the woods for a week when EVERYTHING happened at once, and on a pretty rough canoeing trip, so there was no way I was going to break the news then -- even if I could reach her. And I told her why I was doing it, though the reasons have been obvious for a while anyhow, and let her know she's been perfect and it has nothing to do with her. And that I would have preferred to wait until the fall so it wasn't such short notice. I offered her extra rides this month if she wants them, and let her know she's welcome to come down and visit and ride, still. I think I did my best with the circumstances, or at least I hope I did!


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## whisperbaby22

You did, and she should not have to much trouble getting another lease. Anyone would be lucky to have a trusty person to share their horse.


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## SteadyOn

Welp, not the greatest ride yesterday. Through no fault of Elle's, of course, but... she was still a liiittle off in her back end in trot. Not so concerningly that I stopped the ride, as I think these little hitches at her age are best treated with MORE movement, and not less. She was perfectly willing to go, but just felt a little uneven. Her canter, however, was some of her nicest in a while! Absolutely like butter. And she just wanted to keep going, which tells me she wasn't too bothered. I wasn't bouncing at all -- and I usually bounce a little! Especially when she's really moving, like she was yesterday.

This week has had some major shifts in humidity and temperature, so that might be making her joints less comfortable. She also had fewer rides last week, as my part boarder was away. She's certainly nowhere near as off as she was for that week in the fall, when she wouldn't bend her hind right well for a few days. She came back from that just fine, so I'm not about to panic. Just going to keep her in her normal workload and monitor her.

Once I have her at the new place, the vets that service that barn are apparently wonderful. During the first month or two, I'll see about other options to keep her going nicely. The major positive difference in her when she was on the prednisolone (a steroid) for her cough makes me wonder if getting corticosteroid injections for her hocks, and maaaybe also her stifles, could make a big difference for her. Though there may also be other things we can try first. Literally all she's had (and really needed) to this point has been a little daily previcox, and she gets MSM and omega 3 oil for their anti-inflammatory effects. I know there's more I can do, but I do have to find a balance with the $$$$ aspect too, so we'll see. People have told me "don't get joints injected until they really need it" but... she's 25. How much older or more uncomfortable does she need to be to "need" it? Not a rhetorical question, either. One I'll pose to the vets if she continues to have ups and downs like this.


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## SteadyOn

Small further update: just called my current vet, and left a message to ask if she thinks we should do more prednisolone for Elle. She's coughing again now that she's off it (though not as badly as before), and her whole body and demeanor were happier on it. I'm not seeing it as a longterm solution for the arthritis symptoms, of course, but making her breathing and body more comfortable right now, and bridging her transition to the new barn, don't seem like bad ideas. Yes, it's a bit of a bandaid, but bandaids serve a purpose!!


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## SteadyOn

I wasn't expecting to ride last night, but I was able to leave early from an evening gallery shift, so I zipped over to the barn for an impromptu ride. I was wearing my civvies, heh, but fortunately I've taken to wearing soft leggings with a thigh phone pocket anyhow. While I did miss the grip of my full seats, they were at least comfortable and not actively slippery -- plus my saddle has soft, grippy leather -- so I was happy enough.

Elle, thankfully, felt a bit better. She's still tripping some with the back legs, and still has a cough when ridden, but both were better than the last two rides. She only did one series of coughs, early on, and also didn't feel off at all until the very end of the ride, once she was tired. She just felt a little uneven trotting on a left circle. Perfectly fine to the right. And still quite willing to go, either direction, so likely not too bad.

In hindsight I think I drilled her a little too much on that left circle trot, at the end, but I wanted to really explore it to see what was happening. And I think my instinct that she needs work more than rest right now is good, as she improved from yesterday. Fingers crossed. We did do a nice long walk warm-up, and cool out, this time, so that will hopefully help as well.

Her canter was very nice. A little nicer to the right than to the left, but that's normal for her. We tried doing some trot poles too, to loosen her up, but unfortunately she couldn't see them very well, so that was a no go. The paint has worn off them, making them almost the same colour as the footing, and we were losing day light. Bless her, she tried, but once we were on top of the poles she stretched her face right down in surprise at them.

My seat and body continued to feel quite good. I was able to really get upright and use my core to think about engaging her back end more, when we were circling either direction and I was trying to feel her out.

Confidence, for both of us, is also improving. Last night there was a deer grazing by the arena, again, but aside from looking askance at it a few times, Elle didn't really react. The only time she DID react was... pretty fair, honestly. We were thankfully at the farther end of the arena, but pointing that direction when two of the barn dogs came FLYING down the hill behind the barn, chasing the deer off. Again though, while she did react, it was honest and manageable. We regrouped and got back to work with no issues. It's so nice to feel so much less worried, and I'm sure my confidence is rubbing off on her too!!

I did talk to the vet last night, and she's giving us another month of prednisolone for Elle. I know it's a bandaid, and while her cough is a major factor, I'm sure, in the tripping and off-ness, I'm also looking for the anti-inflammatory effect to just bridge the gap until I can get her settled in at her new home and then have the new vets look into additional management, if she needs it. I'm thinking either a change/increase in her NSAIDS, or hock or stifle injections, will be helpful. There's also a very good chiropractor who comes there regularly, apparently. And I'm sure I can get a saddle fitter out, finally. Her back end tripping issues started around the same time I started using the new saddle regularly... but that's also when her cough under saddle got ridiculous, from her allergies, so I suspect body soreness from holding in coughs is more to blame for the tripping and off-ness than the saddle likely is. She was pretty much perfect on the prednisolone -- no coughing, no tripping, great movement and energy. Hmm. Well, it will be good to have options!

If only they could talk, right???


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## ClearDonkey

SteadyOn said:


> Small further update: just called my current vet, and left a message to ask if she thinks we should do more prednisolone for Elle. She's coughing again now that she's off it (though not as badly as before), and her whole body and demeanor were happier on it. I'm not seeing it as a longterm solution for the arthritis symptoms, of course, but making her breathing and body more comfortable right now, and bridging her transition to the new barn, don't seem like bad ideas. Yes, it's a bit of a bandaid, but bandaids serve a purpose!!


I'm new to your journal but with the coughing I saw the weirdest thing the other day (on TikTok of course).... There are people that buy the big bulk containers of plain yellow mustard and feed it daily to their horses, swearing by the fact that it helps eliminate seasonal coughing. Not sure if this would help your Elle but I'm certainly considering giving it a try!


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## SteadyOn

ClearDonkey said:


> I'm new to your journal but with the coughing I saw the weirdest thing the other day (on TikTok of course).... There are people that buy the big bulk containers of plain yellow mustard and feed it daily to their horses, swearing by the fact that it helps eliminate seasonal coughing. Not sure if this would help your Elle but I'm certainly considering giving it a try!


Wow, neat! I wonder if she'd eat that. She can be picky -- but she does LOVE her food!

My old coach swears that oregano can also work, but I was hesitant to try it because I couldn't find any accounts of anyone else trying it!

I did try spirulina for quite a while, but I'm not convinced it did anything, so I haven't picked up any more.


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## knightrider

I had a lot of success with something called Cough Free. My Isabeau has seasonal allergies, only in spring and fall. It worked great . . . until she decided she wasn't going to eat it. She only coughed after eating in her stall, not while being ridden, so I just decided to live with the coughing. Wetting her food didn't make a difference. Still have a big tub of Cough Free in my feedroom, but I am glad I don't really HAVE to use it.

Are you able to get Cough Free where you live?


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## ClearDonkey

knightrider said:


> I had a lot of success with something called Cough Free. My Isabeau has seasonal allergies, only in spring and fall. It worked great . . . until she decided she wasn't going to eat it. She only coughed after eating in her stall, not while being ridden, so I just decided to live with the coughing. Wetting her food didn't make a difference. Still have a big tub of Cough Free in my feedroom, but I am glad I don't really HAVE to use it.
> 
> Are you able to get Cough Free where you live?


BO uses this same product on his horse with heaves - I have never heard this horse cough. He's a reiner that kicks up a lot of dust undersaddle, and in general likes running around while in the pasture. It may be worth something looking into if you can get it in Canada!


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## SteadyOn

Aaaaand... we're off. And not the good kind of off. I mean we're stumbly and uneven, and I'm not sure what it is. It's the same issue that's been happening, to some degree, for the past couple of weeks now.

I rode her Saturday and she was greatly improved, but last night was... not great. There's an unevenness in her trot, and she's prone to tripping. Now, the footing last night was a bit more challenging than usual, as it had just rained a lot, which makes it heavier going. But I'd be naive to think that's all it is. She was also rushy at times during the ride, which I _think_ is her staying more on the forehand to compensate for something being uncomfortable in her back end. I'm inclined to think either her hocks are bothering her, or her stifles. Or both.

I free lunged her briefly, after the ride, to see if I could catch it on film. She only did one tiny hind end trip (which is not in this video), but you can see here, when she kicks it up a gear, that the rhythm is a bit off and she bobs a little. On the other hand, she's very happy to go, and would have completely ignored my request for her to move out if she didn't feel up to it. If this horse doesn't want to move, believe me, she doesn't. Her canter feels fine under saddle, and again, she's quite happy to do it. All her transitions were on point last night during our ride, and she was very forward and seemed happy enough to be moving. But... sloppy.






I'm in a bit of an awkward situation right now, as I'm moving her in just over two weeks and will have different vets there -- different everything, really. So there's no point in getting my current vet involved. It's also possible that she'll work her way out of this without additional intervention. She's been great all year, other than feeling off from being body-sore when her cough was bad back in early May. My question to myself now is what to do in the meantime. I feel like, given she's still quite happy to work, continuing light work is the best move. My part boarder only rides her lightly anyhow, so if I dial back my own work on her a bit, we can keep her moving, I think, without overdoing it. If she's just stiff, then pushing through it (to a point) is better. If she's actually hurting (and she's not communicating that to me so far) then rest is better. Could be she'll be perfectly fine the next ride again, or she could be dreadful. Who knows. At 25, she's allowed to have some off days without it being cause for a meltdown on my part (or so I'm trying _very hard_ to convince myself). Yay, horses!!! 😕


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## SteadyOn

Minor update: texted my coach (Elle's old owner) all worried, asking her to talk me off the ledge about this.

Coach: Well have you tried giving her a little extra Previcox for a bit to see if it helps?
Me: No. I guess that's probably more logical than panicking?
Coach: LOL.

So I guess I'll double her (very small) dose for a bit and see if that helps get her through this. She only gets 1/4 pill a day, so going up to a 1/2 pill for a couple of weeks should be safe enough.


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## SteadyOn

Last night was kind of... neat? I decided not to ride, even though my part boarder said Elle had actually been fine the night before. No tripping, no weirdness. So that was good news. Still, I wanted to evaluate for myself, and figured movement was probably good but one less ride was probably also good, in the circumstances!!

I took Elle for a 20 minute walk before we did anything in the ring, just to get her limbered up. She does seem to really enjoy being walked like a big dog -- which is something I can look forward to, more, at the new place -- so she was engaged and following, relaxed, on a loose lead. I was able to snack on a few wild raspberries on the walk, too! For some reason, that's always so much more rewarding than just buying a carton of them, haha.

When we finally got ot the arena, after she'd been following so nicely the whole time, something really neat happened. I unclipped her and... she was hooked on to me. I had never tried "hooking on" before with her, or with any horse, nor did I try to have it happen then. It just... did. She followed me, stopped when I stopped, turned when I turned, and just stayed with me without me doing or asking anything. Normally she would have ignored me and gone to graze at the edge of the arena before I got the lunge whip and asked her to move. But last night, she was engaged and present and relaxed. I actually felt really badly having to send her out to work!!! But I did need to see her move!

This is how she looked, which is a FAR cry from how stiff and uneven she was in the video from my previous post. Phew! Not sure what made the difference, as by that point, she'd only had 1/4 extra of a previcox pill the previous evening. Really not enough to have made an impact yet on her system. But whatever the case, it was a relief to see her back to her normal self, or at least most of the way there. She wasn't super peppy, but it was quite hot out. And she was willing and didn't have any obvious trouble. She even did a good buck-fart while cantering! And didn't trip even once!






Afterwards, I took her for another walk, and decided to start the walk with no lead rope. Again, she followed me, and was more interested in being with me than doing her own thing. She followed me through a ditch and across a bunch of tasty grass, too, and didn't stop for either. She didn't start ignoring me until I had to ignore her, first, for a minute to text my coach the better news. And even then, she just stood nearby and looked at the barn -- but didn't ditch me to head back to it or anything! Very very cool.

I probably won't ride her again until she's been solidly sound for a bit longer, but hopefully this is the end of that gimpy episode. Fingers are all crossed!! At least she and I are both VERY much enjoying the walks together! 💕


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## SteadyOn

A tale of two horses...

Okay, it's actually all Elle, but definitely two different sides to her on the last two visits!!

Saturday night, I went out and repeated exactly what I had done on the previous visit. Long hand walk, followed by free lungeing in the outdoor arena. However... This time, once we got into the outdoor, I decided to really play more with her hooking on to me and following me. And wow, did she ever!!! She followed me through turns, stops, even over poles! And not just at a walk. She even trotted along behind me!! I was genuinely giggling with delight. I felt like Alec Ramsay playing with The Black on the beach.  It was such a horse movie moment, and I would never have believed it from stoic, "Are you serious?" Elle, who generally has the same vibe as Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada. She did eventually get bored and start lagging and give up on following me, but I couldn't believe she did it at all, much less for as long as she did!!

I didn't make it out again until yesterday in the late afternoon/early evening. It was HOT and humid. Felt like a thunderstorm was brewing -- though it has yet to happen, to my knowledge. I used the heat and sun to my advantage, to oil my jump saddle -- which I'd intentionally let dry out for a long time as it kept molding -- but that was starting to feel like cardboard. The heat and the sunshine helped the leather soak it right in. I did the entire surface, as it hadn't been oiled in AGES, including a light pass on the seat and visible surfaces. Sometimes, you just gotta do the whole saddle!!

After oiling the saddle, I sat back and relaxed and chatted about this and that with the BO. And in amazing news, the nightmare boarder is GONE GONE GONE. Finally!!! Oh happy day!!! I'll be gone myself in a week and a half, but it's still nice to know, for everyone, that she's out of there. We came to learn that she has burned bridges all over the place, and ripped off many people -- barn owners, vets, etc.. NOT a good person.

Anyhow, back to Elle. She may have been her best Jekyll lately, but yesterday Mr. Hyde showed his ugly face! I can't remember if I've mentioned this before, but Elle used to have a problem with pulling back in cross ties. I had only seen her do it once -- maybe in 2017 or 2018 -- but she'd been cross tying happily the entire time she's been at the current barn. I had eased her into it, and taken to feeding her treats, etc., to make the cross ties a relaxed and pleasant place for her. Weeeeeeeelll...

It was super hot yesterday, so I decided I'd just put the bareback pad on her and hop on her for a relaxed little wander at a walk. Didn't groom or anything as she was relatively clean. Just popped her in the cross ties, grabbed the bareback pad, BARELY started to cinch it up, and I see her head fly up, and next thing I know, EXPLODING HORSE!! She had set right back in the cross ties!! Broke her halter, spun around, and trotted out the back door through the indoor arena going NOPE NOPE NOPE all the way out to the driveway. It was scary for just a split second, but then almost comical as she did her huffy little trot outside, naked except for her royal blue bareback pad. Caught her easily, thankfully, now having to resort to a rope halter because she had broken a DIFFERENT halter last week by stepping on her lead. Oy. Brought her back into the same spot in the aisle, and she was all pointed ears and dragon snorts at something ahead of her. The culprit? An oscillating fan, about 40 feet away, that she had already walked past a million times. I guess it being backlit in the dark aisle, in silhouette, and having the nerve to MOVE BY ITSELF was too much for her and had worked her up, and then the feeling of the girth, while she was distracted by it, had put her over the top. I assume. Sigh.

Now, one thing about Elle: great horse. Typically pretty unflappable. The other night I was hand-walking her on the shoulder of a small highway that runs past the barn, when a huge lumber truck went WHOOSHING by from behind us. She startled a little, but just a few steps and was back to business as usual. Would have probably been a sittable spook. Things that should LOGICALLY spook a horse rarely rattle her much. No no, it's always something either completely invisible or TOTALLY STUPID when the big spooks happen. Fortunately, they're rare to the point of only happening about once a year!!

I got her bridled and did hop on her bareback, having taken her outside first and given her some time to calm down. But despite this, we were both too "up" to do that safely. I rode her at a walk, up and down the short main driveway a couple of times, but she did the laser ears at a random bush we would have had to walk by, and despite having her relax and try again, she did a pre-spook body twitch that I did NOT like when we tried it again. Hopped off and decided to live to ride another day.

Horses, man. 🤷‍♀️


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## SteadyOn

Finally had a proper-ish ride for the first time in a week and a half! Happy to report that Elle was herself again, in pretty well every respect. Relaxed in the aisle, in the cross-ties. So relaxed she looked half asleep, and I swear she was smiling! Ha. I still kept the chin undone on the (BRAND NEW!) halter just in case, but she was happy happy happy.

Ride was short, as I didn't have a ton of time before work, but she felt really good both directions. No tripping, other than her occasional mild lazy-hind-leg stumble that she sometimes does before she's fully warmed up. Only one cough. Good energy. Canter felt really lovely! No unevenness in trot. And she seemed to take zero issue with being barefoot again. Hooray!! I would have loved to have made it a longer ride, but it was a good check-in. Even collected up her canter a bit and got one really gorgeously smooth flying change!

After the ride, I took my loop knife out and cleaned her frogs up a bunch. This is NOT something I should have to do just three days after the farrier was there, grrr. I really hope the farrier at the new place is an improvement on this guy. He's not so bad that he's actually _messing up_ her feet by any means -- he's just not very thorough. While it's mostly a really REALLY good thing that he barely touches the soles and frogs, sometimes they at least need a _little_ maintenance. Yeesh. At least one of the barn dogs had a snack, haha.

I also am hopeful that her elbow that's been chronically crusty for a couple months now will finally get a chance to heal up. I think pressure from the shoe, when she lies down, caused it. It's not a traditional shoe boil though -- just crusty skin. I've been hitting it with some Sole Cleanse spray to wash it (just mild zinc and eucalyptus solution, worked well on her scratches), letting it dry, and smothering it in diaper rash cream, then fly spraying well around it. It at least doesn't seem to be hurting her. But would be nice to finally heal it up!


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## SteadyOn

Wellp, she did it again. Another pull-back. I don't think this one was an "honest" one like the previous one -- I think this was her deciding, after last time, that this (previously common for her) move belongs back in her repertoire.

However.

This one had a few interesting factors. One, is that I arrived to the sight of a lounge chair stacked on top of a kid's bed, being stored IN the CROSS TIE area. I sighed, took a picture of it to have yet another reminder of why I'm moving at the end of this month (like I really needed another reminder), then scooched it as far back as I could out of the way. It wound up being backed right up to the door to the indoor arena. Two, is that it happened, again, while I was doing the girth up on Elle. Three, is that I had the chin strap undone on her halter this time, so she just pulled loose -- and then the stupid bed thing blocked her from making an exit out the indoor arena door again, this time with my GOOD saddle in place, so I guess that was a plus. Four, is that she's apparently very much in heat right now, which always makes her a little more reactive. Five, is that she did NOT do this the other day when I got her ready. She was perfectly relaxed the whole time.

Is she suddenly ulcery? Probably not. I think it's a combination of her being in heat, and having rediscovered the effectiveness of the pull-back. But, being a good owner and willing to do my due diligence, I have now just spent $100 on a rush order of Mad Barn's Visceral supplement, which has an excellent reputation for preventing/managing/treating ulcers. I had already been considering putting her on it for a month or so to help manage her stress and gut health during the move, so this sudden extreme reaction to having the girth done up was the final push. Again, I think it's in-heat-related and/or behavioural. But hey, no harm (except to my wallet) in some digestive support for a while!

The ride afterwards was completely unremarkable, except that I felt tense because of the pull-back that preceded it, so I didn't feel as confident and relaxed as I have lately. She didn't actually do a single thing wrong, though! I even lunged her before riding, just to make sure she wasn't experiencing any observable discomfort, and she was as relaxed as could be. Not a horse communicating pain at all. She was happy and forward under saddle, and none of her coughing or tripping or unevenness that she had been experiencing returned at all. She felt great!

Again, I say... horses, man! Just looking forward to our fresh start in August!!!


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## SteadyOn

Well, there has been a LOT going on since the last update!! The move went ahead, and went quite smoothly. I have a whole separate thread on it, complete with pictures of the new facility, and some descriptions of my first couple visits, here:









We did it!! We moved!!! <3


Today was moving day for Elle!!! I was/am beyond excited. The new place has... A beautiful indoor riding arena Clean, clear, well maintained aisles Paths for hacking Roads where I can take Elle for walks A wash stall A complete feed program Sand outdoor riding ring A nice sense of...




www.horseforum.com





I had my first ride on her there on Thursday night, although I picked one heck of a night to try it, as there were more lessons going on than usual, and people getting ready for showing this weekend. Still, I managed just fine. Tacked Elle up in her stall to keep things simple, and since the outdoor arena was busy, I just rode her in the quiet, shady indoor. She was actually pretty perfect in there for her first ride in it! Fairly calm. Looked around a bit -- of course -- but didn't have any kind of startle reactions. I only rode for 20 minutes, but did some walk, trot, and just a couple circles of canter. The only time she got really distracted was when kids on three ponies rode by outside. But even then, it was more of a "ooh what's that about" than a "they might kill me, mom!"

The tack room is tight, so when you have a lot of people trying to move around it gets a little silly. And I smashed my head pretty hard on the open door of the locker above mine, owwww. But other than that, I managed fine! Just going to be an adjustment. I also met a few of the people there, including two really nice 8 and 9 year old girls. They came over and met Elle and gave her treats. There's quite a range of age and skill levels!

Last night I went out again, and it was a complete contrast. NO ONE was there, haha. It was actually a bit of a relief to know it's not ALWAYS super busy. I suspect somewhere in the middle will be the average experience! It was HOT and they were inside. Elle was grumpy, and had eaten most of her hay, but was ignoring the last bits. She wasn't out of hay by any means, but just seemed to be in a bit of a mood. Not surprising in the heat. It was around 30 Celsius (86 F) and humid, so I didn't intend to do much during our ride. Figured we could just have a relaxed little ride in the -- surprisingly cool and pleasant -- indoor, in the shade. I tacked her up in the aisle for the first time there, but didn't use the cross ties, given our recent misadventures with them. I just passed her lead rope through the bar of a nearby stall to give her the illusion of being tied, which usually works.

However, she was a bit antsy and just kept creeping forward. She was intent on going nose to nose with the mare in the stall ahead of us -- who wanted NONE of it. There was much ear pinning, squealing, and stamping, all from the other mare, while Elle was like "oh hi, tell me more." Meanwhile the old gelding in the stall next to her seems quite taken with her, and they have NO drama. But did she want to stay put and get nose-to-nose with him?? Nooooo.

The ride started out great, but I could tell leading Elle to the indoor that she was kind of wired. I would have thought the heat would have the opposite effect, but who knows. She's still settling in, getting used to having grain again instead of just a balancer (though if she ends up too hot on it in the long run, I'll ask them to cut back). She's also back on the prednisolone, and has been for a while now, and it did make her more forward (probably from feeling so good!) last time. Plus she hasn't been worked all week, really. Suffice to say, she had lots of good reasons for having lots of energy. And she did!!

My plan had been to have a sedate ride in the indoor, and then head out from there at a walk and ride around outside a bit to explore. However, it was not to be. The ride was fine -- Elle was very good. She had radar ears a few times, but never felt actually tense. Just forward. We did a good ten minutes of walk warm-up just getting comfortable in the space, although she seemed fine about that. We picked up trot and did some poles, and I worked on moving her out and collecting her back up. I did a full lap or two of canter on the right lead, but she started getting a bit hot and harder to keep organized than usual. Left lead canter she was a little strung out and tripped on our first attempt, then did some better work after. While she never actually put a foot wrong, really, I could tell she just needed to GO and I didn't want to have to do that with her carrying my butt along for the ride, on such a hot day. So I lunged her and she cantered and cantered and cantered. She did some head tossing and I could tell she probably had a good buck-fart or several in there, waiting to be set free, but I even though I egged her on she wouldn't do it. Haha. 

After all that, she was pretty sweaty, so I used the wash stall there for the first time and hosed her off well. It was so nice to be able to control the temperature -- and to contain the horse!! I also hosed off her girth and her bit. We went for a walk-and-graze to dry her off and cool her out, and let her have a drink, and she was still really energetic. Again, not spooky, but spicy. After some exploring I put her away, cleaned some tack and did some organizing, then took her out for more hand-grazing and walking before I left. It was getting dark by then, but she was still a bit amped up. I trotted her in hand up and down the driveway a few times, as she just seemed to have a lot of spice still.

Hopefully she'll chill out a bit soon as she adjusts. This has been a BIG change for her, and as I said above, less exercise right now, concentrates in her feed, steroids for her lungs, and just a lot going on. All in all though, I'm still THRILLED with the move, and if things need to be adjusted a little after some settling in time, that's completely doable. I'm just so happy to see her have more daylight and some real BEDDING in her stall. Sigh!


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## SteadyOn

Well, yesterday was, uh... interesting! The short of it is that Elle is still being a bit of a nutter, moreso than she should be after a week and a half to settle in, so they're going to try cutting the Purina Senior she gets in half, and giving her more roughage. I'm still giving her a half ration of her Amino Trace+, so she should still be getting her complete vitamins and minerals on half the senior feed too.

It's funny because they don't know her, right? So they're like "oh she's been fine" but fine is relative, and I can look at her and tell she's way more amped than she should be!

I brought her in and tacked her up in the wash stall (which is perfect for cross tying her because she can't pull back in there) and she was a bit wiggly and high-headed. VERY into getting cookies, at least, haha. Then I led her out to the outdoor arena to try her there for the first time, and she was basically a giraffe. I tried several times to line her up at the mounting block, and while she WAS standing still... she was so distracted by some geldings in the paddock across the way that I think she forgot I existed. And I'm not about to swing a leg over a horse who is THAT distracted. Luckily there's always a lunge line out there, it seems, so I grabbed one and spent about ten minutes getting her warmed up and focusing a little better. After that, she STILL wanted to stand like a giraffe and stare at the boys, so I turned her a different direction on the block, flexed her head and neck a bunch, and basically annoyed her into paying attention to me.

Once I was on, we did about 20 minutes of just walk around the outdoor. It was a pretty tense giraffe walk. Lots of high head, snorting at things, and radar ears. VERY VERY out of character for her. Even when she's just taken off-property for ONE day, she's never that silly and distracted. But here we were on day nine!!

Despite all this, she didn't really put a foot wrong. She startled slightly at a small puddle on the ground, and looked askance at a patch of flowers growing near the gate, but again, she didn't DO anything. Still, it's no fun riding a horse who is super wound up and close to threshold. Normally beginners can handle her, and she was _not_ in that state yesterday. Still, I was proud of myself for persevering with her. I kept a few fingers on my grab strap -- more for my own peace of mind than anything -- and just stayed calm and stayed at a walk for however long it would take her to focus and calm down.

Eventually her head carriage got a bit less silly, and her radar ears were only happening when we were facing certain direction. I got her onto a trot circle, and she settled in quickly, and stopped being a giraffe so much and actually went REALLY low with her head and neck. It was funny at first because she was stretching and rounding on about 3/4 of the circle but she'd pop back into giraffe mode when we came around facing the boys. Once we got that circle working both ways -- relaxed_ all_ the way around -- I expanded our trot circle to include most of the ring, and take us over some trot poles, and she felt great. She REALLY wanted to round and stretch right down, which was fine by me!! It was a good sign, and if that's how she needed to move to be happy and relaxed, great!!!

We finished by walking some full laps of the ring, by which time she was in a fairly neutral head carriage, only a LITTLE looky at the gelding paddock, and able to walk past the puddles and plants without caring, haha. Eventually she got a little bored with this though, and got perky and looky again, so I waited for a moment of relaxation to hop off and end things on a good note before she decided to be amped up again.

After untacking her, I walked her over by the paddock where the geldings are, and were some moms and babies are too, but she was NOT interested in them. Just wanted to walk all over and grab at some grass.

And then when I led her back out to her paddock, she was barging ahead of me and being a twit, so I had to do some corrections with her before turning her out and it was a bit silly and messy.

I'm confident she'll chill out eventually between settling in some, getting used to the new feed, and also having some of that feed reduced. A lot of her energy seems to be positive energy and not negative. She's very interested in EVERYTHING and doesn't seem fearful. But... whew... it's a bit much. At least it's a reminder to appreciate her usual _calm_ self all the more, heh.

And one lovely thing: her bed sores are already almost healed up. Amazing what ADEQUATE BEDDING can do for an old girl, right? Sigh!!!


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## Knave

I wonder how much of her heat has to do with not having the extra riding of the lease girl too.


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## SteadyOn

Knave said:


> I wonder how much of her heat has to do with not having the extra riding of the lease girl too.


Could be! She's always been one of those same-no-matter-what horses, though, to at least some degree. Hasn't been noticeably different even when one of us has been away for a couple of weeks or something. Still, in this situation, it is probably contributing, and more frequent work might have helped her settle in faster.

It's nice to know she can still be feeling herself at 25, haha, but I certainly look forward to getting my somewhat-zen old lady back!!


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## SteadyOn

Well, I have good news! I rode Elle last night and she was... normal!!!! They reduced her Purina Senior to a half ration as of Tuesday night and, I guess between that and a little more settling in time, she was herself again.

How normal was she? We rode outside, during a jump lesson. There was a bleacher full of people beside the arena, who were kind of hidden by a tree. There was a woman in a blanket, in a wheelchair, watching from another side, while a kid with a walker played on the ground beside her with a big Tonka truck. There were three Jack Russell terriers hanging around. There was a small child on a pony, but also, a girl on a spicy OTTB jumping a 3' course right beside us for the entire ride. And Elle was her old, chill self. The only thing that got her for a second was when a dog sneezed beside her, and she took ONE faster step!! We did lots of walk and trot, and only a little bit of canter because she decided steering was optional at the canter. So, a little ways to go, still, but about an 80% improvement from her silly self the other day. I'm sure we'll be rockin' soon!!

Ahhhhh, what a relief!!!

Things did actually go a bit wrong later... but through no fault of Elle's. When the lesson was over, we followed the girl on the OTTB -- who is a FANTASTIC rider, and a really nice and lovely person -- on a walk hack around the place. Unfortunately, her boy took MAJOR exception to a tractor being parked a ways ahead on the lane we were going to ride up, and he did a big spin-and-bolt which of course became a compound spook and Elle did a smaller version of the same. Fortunately I had my hand on the grab strap (love that thing) as soon as I saw her guy get weird. And while it felt big for me at the time, I'm not sure Elle actually went faster than a trot during her "bolt." Ha! So we were fine. The other girl stayed on too, because apparently her butt is made of velcro! Elle had a bit of trouble relaxing on our ride after THAT, but fair enough. When, farther along, she got looky about a group of people and didn't want to listen to my rein aids, I opted to just hop off instead of riding her through it. Would she have been fine? Meh, probably. But there was zero reason to push it. She had already been a very good girl!! We'll get there.

Today she will have been trimmed by the farrier there, so I'm looking forward to seeing his work. She was actually only done about three or four weeks ago, but her feet have been chipping badly where the nail holes were -- and growing like weeds. Her frogs are also so ready to shed that the points of them are wiggly, heh. I was tempted to trim those frogs myself but I want to see what this guy does with them. I didn't love my previous farrier, so I hope this new guy is good!!!


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## SteadyOn

Ahhhh, where were we! I had a bit of a crazy week, but got a few rides in there between my last post and now. In fact, four rides! I won't go into heavy detail on them, but here's a little recap:

Saturday evening: I rode Elle in the outdoor arena, for I think the third time since we've been there. Another girl (the one with the OTTB who spooked last time) was out there with me. Unfortunately it was not as relaxed a ride as the previous one, as there was a LOUD WEDDING right next door. The OTTB was completely calm about it. But. Elle was distracted by it, but worse, _I_ was distracted by it, and distracted by her being distracted by it. We just did a walk-trot ride, but it was pretty unfocused and crummy. Also I was, ahem, mildly hungover from Friday and just did not have the energy to make it a good ride. But nothing bad actually happened. Still, Elle and I were just in our heads in an unproductive way.

Monday evening: I rode Elle in the indoor arena, as it was nice and quiet, and no heat and no bugs in there. I'm happy to report that she doesn't seem to have a "spooky corner" in this arena AT ALL, so far, which is remarkable for any horse in an indoor arena! Everything went great, walk trot canter, untiiiiil... we did some left lead canter, and she started jerking on the reins and tossing her head. I tried to work her through it, but it became obvious that the best thing I could do for her would be to hop off and let her have a little run and maybe a buck, as I think she was trying to work something out. And, bless her, she will NOT buck under saddle!!! Once she was on the lunge, she actually only did ONE buck, but did she did keep rooting a bit at the reins. So at least I knew it wasn't my contact causing it. I decided, seeing her zipping around on the lunge, that maybe she needed to be ACTUALLY TIRED OUT for the first time since we'd been there. So I sent her into lots of very forward canter, both directions, before bringing her back to a trot where she showed a little tiredness finally. Then we called it a day.

Wednesday afternoon: We used the indoor again. A load of hay was being tossed in at one end, and as they were backlit by the entrance and the arena was pretty dark, I knew Elle would need to have a good look at it before she'd be okay about it. High-contrast lighting situations confuse her sometimes -- even if what was happening wouldn't have actually bothered her otherwise. She stared and snorted a little, but settled down a bit. I lunged her a little at that end, too, and she was fine about it. It was clear when I lunged, though, that she was really feeling the workout from Monday evening. She was poky and stiff. So I got on and just rode her walk and trot, and focused on just limbering her up. She did shy very slightly once in one corner, but I think a very bright spot of sun caused it. Her stiffness was much better by the end. Afterwards, I untacked her and hand-walked her up the paved road beside the barn, quite a ways, and she was moving very forward and freely. She saw two or three black angus cattle across the road, that must have been at least 200 feet away, and stood and STARED at them. Note to self: get her used to cows before hacking around there!! I see more hand-walks up that road in our very near future!

This morning: I had a lesson with my coach (Elle's old owner) and it was a good breakthrough!! We rode outside, since she's had more trouble focusing out there, to see how she went. She was a total pill to lead out there, and then was tossing her head and walking quickly as soon as I got on. But we channeled that energy in a positive direction and just worked on keeping her focused and doing lots of bending. My coach was actually THRILLED with how much energy she has. She said this is what she SHOULD be like, not the poky version I'm used to. And we really did get some lovely work from her! She started rounding really nicely, and really moving out. And her canter, once we got to it, was really round and energetic and lovely to sit to. Quite a pleasure! It was a little faster than I'm used to, but again, in a good way. She tends to labouriously gallumph instead of doing a nice round movement with some lift. Today the energy in it was great! We even did a flying change that was nice and smooth instead of her usual forehand dive.

Speaking of lift, she was in heat today, and had some runny poops and a lot of gas... and every time she was working well and lifting her back, the FARTS that were coming out of her. It was pretty hilarious. She was engaging her tummy muscles, which was great, but it was squeezing them out. Too funny. On the plus side, no tripping at all, and no coughing at all. Just... farts. So many farts.

Anyhow, my coach's assessment: she's not being "crazy" at all. She just feels REALLY GOOD and I should enjoy my newly enthusiastic horse. I just need help channeling it. LOL. It's a relief!!!

After the lesson, I hosed her off and took her for a walk. We explored the back hay fields, which they have just mowed, and they are huge and GLORIOUS. We're able to ride on them, so once we're confident to do so, that's something wonderful to look forward to!

I also figured out how to deal with her new tendency to barge ahead while being led. Instead of yanking on her or admonishing her, I just... send her around me. She wants to cut in front? Cool, she can carry on to the left in a big circle and yield her hindquarters, and end up back where she SHOULD be. After about 5-10 minutes of doing this every time she got ahead of me, she was paying VERY close attention to my speed, slowing down to match me without me even touching the lead or having to do a thing. A very good use of the "this will not profit you" principle of training, I think!!

Anyhow, feeling much MUCH better about things. Also, my coach says Elle seems to have filled out a bit since the move (in a good way!) and that she was moving GREAT today. Looked like a 10 year old, not a 25 year old. Fingers crossed that she just keeps on being Benjamin Button for me!!

A couple nice recent shots: one from the distracting wedding night, and one from today in the hay field. She does look GOOD! 😍


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## SteadyOn

Been out a few times since my last update! Still very happy with the new place. Elle continues to settle in nicely.

Last Saturday, we had a relaxed ride in the indoor. I don't remember much about the ride; only that it went smoothly. She didn't care at all about anything else going on. There was a pony rider in there doing circles and laps of canter. Elle didn't bat an eye. Didn't care about the open doorways, either -- of which there are three -- and was just a good, reliable professional, like I'm used to. I think it was this ride that I actually rode her out through one of the doorways! She was hesitant at first, but did it. It's tricky because I do have to duck a little to get through, so between the change in lighting, my shift in posture, and the fact that there's a small slope to the outside, it's a bit confusing for her. Once we got out, she was a bit looky -- as there was, again, a party happening at a neighbouring property. But this time on the other side. I stopped the ride there and hopped off. One little stretch of the comfort zone at a time!

Wednesday I rode her in the outdoor, and while she's still a little more nervous out there than she is in the indoor, it's much, much better. I even mounted her at the block that's right outside the barn, and rode her into the outdoor arena from there. A few little things made her react, that normally probably wouldn't, but she's probably about 80% better than she was her first couple of weeks there. She looked askance at a planter under a tree, and also picked up speed a little when some kids who were playing got loud. I've learned from this, and the wedding, that she's not fond of shrieking, haha. Who is?? I didn't have as much trouble getting her focus this time in the outdoor, and afterwards, I thought I'd try hacking her up the little path at the back of the property. We've been back there a TON for hand walks and grazing, so I thought it would be fine, but she was having none of it. She balked in the same spot where the compound spook with the OTTB had happened a week and a half earlier, though whether or not that was related, who knows. It was clearly going to be a losing battle, and I didn't want her to spin with me or pitch a fit, so I got her calmed down and hopped off, and then I just hand walked her back and forth and back and forth and back and forth... dozens of times... through that area.

Last night I went out again. It was a nice night, but the outdoor arena was pretty soaked from some recent heavy rains. There were a LOT of people around, but my timing actually worked out well. I tacked Elle up in her stall, took her out for hand-walking for quite a while first, and by the time I came back to the barn, the last person who had been using the indoor was just finishing up. So I had it all to myself. She was, once again, pretty perfect in the indoor. She didn't startle at anything. At one point a cat walked through one of the doorways, but she only looked at it. _I_ took us down from a canter to a walk when I noticed the cat, but I think she would probably have just gone on by. Once again, proving to myself that I tend to be spookier than she is, haha. I do need to do more cantering to build my stamina back up -- in some ways I haven't gotten my riding fitness all the way back from riding so little last winter -- but over all I'm feeling pretty good. I'm sure I'll feel even better as Elle and I both relax more into the new space and develop a good routine. I did briefly consider riding her out of that side door again, but there were big puddles out there, and she was a bit resistant to the idea, so I just decided not to push things and hop off on a good note. After that, we did lots more hand-walking, including going up and down that path again, culminating in a nice long grazing break in the back field. I am determined to get us comfortably hacking out there!! So I will do whatever it takes to make it a place she WANTS to be!


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## knightrider

Look at that lovely grass!!!!


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## SteadyOn

knightrider said:


> Look at that lovely grass!!!!


They have two fields (at least that I know of! Maybe more) where they grow their own hay on site. They were just harvested about two weeks ago, so all the grass is really new and lush!


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## SteadyOn

Yesterday was... neat!! A mix of good and bad, but the bad was more silly than actually _bad_. Over all, Elle still gets a gold star and an A+. I get... a B+ only because I was a little greedy, haha.

I go out to the barn around 4:30pm, and Elle was already inside, and quite clean, so tacking up was quick and easy. It was one of those hot, sunny, lazy kinds of days, and the barn was super quiet, so... perfect time to try solo hacking again!! I didn't beat around the bush at all (though that's kind of literally what we did do, ha) and just hopped on right outside the barn, and rode her straight out to the back. 

Where we ran into trouble the last time was where you turn to the right, off the main track back to the paddock, and take a narrow-ish roadway with paddocks on one side and trees lining the other. That goes on for maybe 100-150 feet, and then there's a big grassy field where they grow their hay. Elle was slightly nervous about going up the path, but really didn't put up any resistance and we made it back to the field without complications. Once we were out of that laneway and in the big field, she was more relaxed. We just sort of meandered a bit, and did what I think of as "slalom walking" where we just sort of head vaguely in a direction, but doing big curves in alternating directions on the way there. It keeps bend in their body, and keeps them focused and relaxed, instead of walking in a straight line which can lead to them being more tense and fixated. I also talked and sang to her a lot, and gave her lots of pats.

Once we had that field pretty much aced, we kept on towards field #2, which requires riding through a short, shady path at one corner of the field, with horses sometimes on the other side of a fence there. Slightly more challenging than the field! For the approach, I again went up to it on a diagonal, and let her stop and think while not pointing right _at_ it, to relax and assess, and then we rode through. She perked up going through it, but she seemed more interested than frightened. So, hooray!! Another win!










We did more slow exploring back there, keeping up the slalom walking, and I did something that would HORRIFY my coach. I let her graze!! With her bridle on!! And with me on board!!! GASP!! I figured it was a small evil in the name of the greater good, LOL. Serves a number of purposes:
-reward
-positive association with the place
-chewing, lowered head and neck posture, stretch over topline = encouraging relaxation

She was very funny after the first one or two times, because she is NOT used to being allowed to do that. So she was walking VERY SLOWLY, I think hoping I'd let her do it again before I came back to my senses. After more grazing/walking though, a little of the novelty wore off and she was more forward.

We wound up going back and forth through that shady path between fields a couple of times, just to get good with it, and then rode around the first field again, having a look at some old cross country jumps at the edge of it. We could hear a helicopter go by overhead at one point, and some other vehicle noises nearby, but I was more worried that she would react than she was. She listened, but didn't care that much.

So over all, she was fabulous. Much better than I expected!!

Aaaand I probably should have ended things there because she had been an angel. But.

It was a gorgeous day, she was now VERY well warmed up and still had lots of energy, so I rode her into the outdoor arena and did maybe 20 minutes of work in there. She was fine for walk and trot, but bargey and heavy and silly about the canter. I had to use a LOT of hand to slow her down, which isn't usually necessary, and which I don't like to do. But she was being rude. I eventually got her settled and got a half circle of nice canter and then called a stop to the ring work.

After that, I thought I'd see how far I could ride her at a walk in the _other_ direction -- which didn't end up being far. Whether she found the other direction more upsetting, or she just was DONE (I think the latter) she was anxious and distracted and didn't want to go forward. So I got her settled and hopped off. I could tell she was annoyed at that point, as I could her hear grinding her teeth -- either that or she was just chewing her grass loudly. Maybe both! I then untacked her, hosed her down, took her for a walk and a bit of grazing, and then put her away and cleaned my tack and boots before heading home.

All in all, success!! And I'll try to be a little more respectful of her mental limits next time. But it's still sooooo nice and such a relief that she's mostly settling in and calming down. And who doesn't dream of riding their horse out in a big gorgeous field on a sunny day?? I'll definitely keep that memory close at hand in the depths of the coming winter!!


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## SteadyOn

I'm currently in the home stretch of my 7 days a week, no actual days off pretty much ever, summer schedule. This coming Tuesday is the first day the store will be closed since... early June, ugh. I did get a whole three days of over that stretch, wooooo, when my partner took the store and I got to go take a breather. But three days off over the course of almost three months is...... not much. Sigh.

And yet somehow, I've still fit in the horse-ing that I can. I feel a bit bad lately that Elle isn't getting worked as much as she's used to. Not that she minds, probably!! But I'll be able to do more with her soon. I haven't found a part boarder yet, but I'm not in such a hurry that I can't just wait for something to happen organically or by word of mouth. I've made it clear to my previous part boarder that she's welcome to come ride and visit now that Elle has settled in, but she has yet to take me up on it. I'm sure she will at some point.

I went out to see her last night. My stomach had been doing somersaults all day so I wasn't super keen to actually ride, but I hadn't been out since Sunday night and presumably she's been basically a potato since then, so she definitely needed a workout. My intention of not riding turned out to be just as well, as she had some big, angry, itchy, swollen bug bites right in her saddle area. The plus side to these bug bites was that I got to see her get REALLY INTO some scratches. Stretching her neck waaaaay out, rubbing her lips against the wall and the bars on the window in her stall. She was even sort of chewing at them. She's not a mouthy horse at all, so this was pretty funny! She's been so robotic for so long that any time I can get a not-a-robot response, it's so lovely! She's been getting better over the last few years with expressing herself, at least.

I still saddled, her though, as I wanted to lunge her with some elastic side reins, and haven't brought my surcingle to the barn yet. I started out hand walking her a bit, then lungeing her in the indoor arena. We warmed up without the reins, and then I popped them on to do some more structured work. She is NOT a fan of them, but they do help her use herself more effectively, instead of just slopping along on the forehand. The style I use is a "neck stretcher" (hate the name, it makes NO sense) that goes over the poll, through the bit rings, and clips off to somewhere on the surcingle or saddle. I just had them clipped to the girth buckles, but as I had her in the dressage saddle, that was pretty low. I might try the jump saddle next time, so I can clip a little higher. See if that helps her step under a little better. I did probably ten minutes at most with that get-up on, as I don't want to overdo it. She then got to stretch right out without them, after, in all gaits too.

She seems very comfortable in the indoor there. Actually more comfortable than in the outdoor, still, which is odd for her as it was the opposite at our previous barn. She did spook once during lungeing, when someone walked in the big end doorway and was backlit, making a silhouette. It wasn't a HUGE spook though, and probably would have been less of one under saddle. One hopes. It was also VERY windy, so that always does make them a little jumpier. In fact, a rider who was in there before me had just fallen of from the horse spooking at the noise the wind was making. She was fine and got back on and finished, so she wasn't too rattled, at least.

After the lunge, I took Elle for a walk to the back fields. It was more of a graze than a walk, frustratingly, but the fields were FULL of clumps of new alfalfa that had sprouted up since the hay was mowed and collected a couple weeks ago. It was like trying to make me walk past an all you can eat lobster buffet, I imagine. So there was a lot of grazing. She was a bit silly and rushy on the walk back, but I did my best to make her wait. I like to find ways that aren't confrontational, but those weren't working so I eventually just popped her in the chest when the lead rope when she tried to get ahead of me, and she actually listened better after that.

Since she had some quirky energy, and the outdoor arena was empty, I decided to just let her loose in there just see what she did. Well, what she did was trot over to the gate and look expectantly at the barn, ha. So I grabbed her halter and just pointed her away from there, and walked and ran at liberty with her a bit. With mixed results. We had a few fun moments where I was really running, and she was right alongside me, doing funny little excited head tosses. Buuuuut she kept heading back to the gate, so I gave in and brought her back inside.

She got a good grooming, and I peeled her chestnuts and ergots. I also now have a little surform pocket plane, which it like a little handheld rasp. It's been perfect for cleaning up little chips now that she's barefoot and is growing out her nail holes. Nice to be able to do little touch ups between trims!! The horses are all starting to grow their winter coats though, alas, so that's always a little depressing. Soon I'll have to dig out all her blankets and hose them down, and take some to the laundromat. Ughhhh, the woooooorst. Fall is gorgeous here, but I am NOT looking forward to our inevitably crappy winter!!!


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## SteadyOn

Morning! Didn't mean to go so long between entries, and unfortunately my last few outings are all a bit blurred now! I've been out... four times since then? Maybe four?

Last Sunday night I was exhausted when I got to the barn, and wasn't feeling like riding, buuuut I had new reins I was dying to try out!! I'm glad I did ride, actually, because it was a lovely, relaxed ride in the indoor, and Elle was suuuuuper chill. A perfect saint. Her default mode was her best imitation of a western pleasure horse! The reins were lovely, too. All-leather but with stoppers INSIDE the leather. Nice and squishy and comfortable (and easy) to hold, but I can still feel for evenness. And a DREAM to clean because I don't have to work around anything. While I didn't hate riding with my previous web reins, they were basically impossible to clean. And they have built-in sliding martingale stoppers that I didn't need, and that just always got in the way.

Then on a Tuesday outing, I tried some hand-walking up the road a little ways, but she seemed to find that very upsetting. I think a lot of it has to do with the cows that are a little ways down and across the road. If she were in a calm mood to start with I don't think she'd be very bothered by them, but because she's already a bit upset at being led away from the property, they're just the icing on the cake. Lots of staring and snorting, and me needing to send her in far too many circles to keep her focused. She also jiggy jogged and did THE LOUDEST snorts I've ever heard from her, on our way back. Once we returned, I learned that a dog had been hit and killed on the road in front of the barn just minutes before I had arrived, so I'm sure the scent and the "vibe" out on the roadway weren't helping. Note how she was too distracted by WHATEVER, here, to put her tongue back in. Sigh. Weirdo.










I decided I probably didn't want to ride her while she was like that, so I popped lungeing gear on her and took her into the indoor arena. She was a perfect saint in there once again, so that was nice! She really does seem to love that indoor. Even with the lowering sun cutting in at harsh angles through the windows, she was relaxed and listening. I put her in her surcingle -- for which I now have a girth extension and a nice fluffy pad. The pad is kind of hilarious because it has wide red and white horizontal stripes. When I added the bungee side reins, and she arched her neck into the contact, she looked like a circus pony! Wish I had taken pictures. I think lungeing her in this get-up at least once a week will help her use herself and step under more in transitions. Because she's long through her back and neck, she tends to get sloppy and just sort of paddle along with her back legs. Engaging herself is HARD, you guys!

The other night, I rode her in the outdoor, but it was during a lesson, so we were a little limited on what we could do. It was fine though -- she just needs some time and miles in that outdoor to make it be okay. She's already a LOT better than those first snorty, tense, distracted rides!! Unfortunately there were two huge tractors and trailers going back and forth over and over again, hauling manure out of the paddocks. I mean, great that this was happening, but unfortunate timing. Elle, bless her, didn't seem to mind after doing one initial startle at the beginning. (She "took off" with me by trotting without being asked, LOL.) I did sit out, though, when everyone cantered. Even though she looked lazy and calm, though, I could feel that she wasn't completely okay with everything, which was proven at the end when a truck and horse trailer came in and she refused to stand still and started backing up and wiggling all over the place. I hopped off because I didn't want us to collide with the person trying to jump a course. Then I hand-walked her, after, behind the other two riders on their short cooling-out hack around the property. All in all, though, it was her most relaxed ride in the outdoor to date -- which is saying something, with those tractors!!!

Last night I went out again. No lesson this time, so I had the arena to myself. Buuuut there were still tractors going, and random gusts of wind were making the bushes shake and rattle on one long side of the arena. Now, here is the funny thing about "trigger stacking." Elle only did a couple little flinches at the tractor noises, but was otherwise pretty indifferent to them. And normally wind doesn't bother her AT ALL -- which I have to say is pretty great. But because of the tractors... which didn't seem to bother her... the wind was upsetting. Yeah, odd, but there's always SOME logic to these things, and that's what I could glean. So we just did a walk-trot ride, and mostly steered clear of that side of the arena. The couple of times I tried to ride her on even a little bit of the track there, she got the radar ears and I could feel her hollow her back and suck back. So I did not push it. Partly because I'm a wimp, and partly because I don't want her to feel forced into a fearful situation there and then associate that side of the track with a problem, in a lingering way. I think part of the way that horses end up with "the spooky corner" in arenas is by being forced into them over and over instead of being given a chance to process their initial nervousness. And then the damage is done and there's no fixing it. Just a theory, but I feel good about my wimpy approach, and think it will be best in the long run.

I hopped off and lunged her a bit, just in the outdoor with no special gear, to work her at a canter too. She was doing her best "ooo I'm old and stiff and slow" impression. Fun fact about Elle: when she's nervous she doesn't actually speed up. She goes slow and looks lazy, which is absolutely great on the one hand, from a safety perspective, but kind of embarrassing if you tell an observer "she's really on edge tonight!" and it LOOKS like you're riding a big plodding thing that's half asleep. After bringing her in for a couple tighter laps where I could ACTUALLY flick her with the tip of the lunge whip, she went "AUGH yes MA'AM" and moved out very nicely. We went for a walk after that -- with a chain lead. Just a little ways up and down the road (need to get her used to that) and then out to the back fields. I'm not crazy about using chain leads, but she's been really pushy during leading lately, so it was just a polite reminder, and she respected it.

After the walk, I took her into the outdoor arena again, and turned her loose. She of course immediately trotted to the gate, haha, but I was able to just get the lunge whip and play with directing her a little, off-lead. I was able to direct her up and down and up and down and up and down the long side that had bothered her earlier -- entirely off-lead! She could have taken off at any time, but she was much more relaxed, and I fed her some carrots at the especially bothersome spots, while we stood and contemplated them. She did do a couple little spooks, so it wasn't ALL in my head, of course, but she still stuck with me. Good girl!!










Stuck around and cleaned all my tack after that, which was nice. So good to not be in a rush! Oh, and Elle's feet were done yesterday and they looked far better than I expected based on how weird they were looking from the nail holes, etc., growing out. The farrier apparently said that she's a "lovely horse with lovely feet." Soooo good to have her barefoot again!!


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## SteadyOn

This morning I had... shall we say... a palate cleanser of sorts?

I've been badly in my head since the move to the new place. And it's literally the only negative about it, really. I had finally started to get over myself and feel really confident in my riding, before we moved, but since we moved -- and since Elle has had to go through her own adjustments to the move -- I've been stuck in an anxiety loop.

One thing I must say for myself, though, is that I'm generally very good at knowing exactly what I need, at least on a week-by-week basis. And what I needed was to step back and watch.

This morning, my coach came out for a lesson. But she also hopped on Elle for a ride, herself, before I hopped on.

Actually, to rewind a few minutes: the outdoor arena was pretty squishy from rain, as it had POURED yesterday. So even though the outdoor arena is where Elle and I really need the miles, I thought we'd probably just have to ride in the indoor -- where Elle and I seem to be perfectly content and relaxed. I had just swung my leg up on her in there, after some hand walking to warm us both up, when my coach showed up. After a bit of discussion, we decided to at least TRY the outdoor, wet footing or no. She walked ahead, and I rode Elle out the side door of the arena. She was pretty good about being ridden out to it, even walking through some puddles, until we got closer and she got a bit high-headed and distracted. My coach grabbed a rein to keep us both chill, and helped lead us in. The footing definitely had a SQUOOSH when you stepped in it, but it was still quite stable, so we decided to give it a go.

Well, didn't my coach just hop on and have the most relaxed, beautiful little ride on Elle. She hadn't actually been on her in at least two and half years, but at one point Elle had been her main horse, so of course Elle just rounded beautifully and said "Yes ma'am!" to everything my coach asked. No looking, no spooking, no sucking back, no hesitation. And to really put things to the test, a three year old stallion in a paddock beside the arena started having absolutely CRAZY screaming zoomies that just went on and on and on for at least five minutes straight. And Elle is coming into heat, to make that even better. But... aside from sort of looking, initially, she did NOT care and just stayed focused on what my coach was asking.

My coach actually hopped off while the stallion was still going, wanting me to get on while the screaming zoomies were still happening, so I could feel that it was fine to ride through it! Smart, ha. Although he pretty much stopped right away. I went on to have a great, brief ride on Elle, with lots of circling and transitions to keep both of us focused and not getting distracted and spooky. (Honestly this was probably more for my sake than Elle's!) There were a couple of places where her ears locked ahead on something, and at one point she almost IMPERCEPTIBLY veered to the side in the canter, in a corner she doesn't really like. But really, she did not put a foot wrong, and I need to stop freaking out. Whew.

Here are a couple of clips of us. Apologies for the quality! I don't think the video transfer of my coach's phone went through very well.






Any hesitation in the transitions video is just me getting myself prepped! Elle was very much on the ball today. She also takes a couple uneven steps here and there, but that was just from the squishy footing.

And here we are working on getting her rounding and connecting with the outside rein.






We didn't do a super long lesson -- I really wanted to do quality over quantity, and end on a good note -- but watching my coach ride and seeing videos shows me just how well everything is actually going. And this will hopefully let me get out of my head and have more relaxed outdoor rides going forward!!! I see some physical tension in the videos -- but my body was actually feeling very good during this ride. I just need to get my HEAD to relax, and the rest will hopefully follow!!!

Also, how good is Elle looking for her age? She's really beefed up nicely at this new place!


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## SteadyOn

Last night was lovely! Sunny and comfortably cool. I decided to try digging in to my newfound confidence on Elle a little. It was a busy night in the outdoor arena for lessons, but I absolutely had to ride outdoors!! Far too lovely out there not to, and the resident coach is fine with us all sharing space.

Not a whole lot to report. Elle was pretty relaxed over all. Still isn’t too fond of a couple spots in the arena, but I really had no problems riding he through them anyhow. She did the itty bittiest side steps away from the rail in the problem places but I was hardly in danger, ha. I still didn’t join in the group canter portion of the lesson, but that was mainly due to the lesson being little kids who were pretty bad at navigating— and Elle and myself not having done any sustained canter out there yet. We did squeeze in some canter circles and transitions while the pony riders took a break, so at least we did it! Elle offered me an unasked for flying change when I was trying to spiral her out in a circle, which made me laugh out loud. She’s so good!! She startled a little when someone slammed a truck door hard, but it was really nothing. It’s honestly good for me to be reminded that most spooks are minor.

After that, I hand grazed her and watched a bit of the advanced rider lesson, and then took her out to the back hay field to graze as well. Still doing lots of positive exposure to that spot, so hopefully we can get in some lovely fall hacks there once the colours come out!

I’ve noticed a weird skin injury come up on Elle’s hip. It started as what just felt like some dried crustiness, but wouldn’t clean off. Then a few days later it started to feel like it was scabbing up and lifting. Last night some of the scabbing had started peeling off and revealing pink skin underneath. It all looks dry and healthy, so i’m not really concerned. About 4” across. It’s just odd, as it clearly isn’t a cut or scrape. I’m thinking she must have smashed it hard into something. She doesn’t seem sore about it at all except when I stick my fingers in there — and fair enough! I used some silver honey spray on it (which is why it looks wet here), because why not. Just odd!


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## SteadyOn

Well, I did a couple of dumb things at the barn last night. 🤷‍♀️ As Alanis would say, you live, you learn. Unfortunately Elle was also having a case of "the stupids," so we made quite a pair.

*Dumb decision number one:* I didn't put fly spray on Elle. The biting insects are pretty much done for the season, thank goodness, and it was breezy and pleasant last night. But the just plain ol' flies are still obnoxiously hanging about and, for whatever reason, Elle was still finding them INTOLERABLE. Our walk warm-up was constantly interrupted by head-tossing and leg-rubbing and chest-biting and belly-kicking. Augh!

She was actually really very good for the ride. A couple moments where she subtly sped up when something invisible alarmed her, but that was it. We avoided the long, bushy side again when the wind was blowing, but it wasn't as bad as that one night last week, at least. Any side or corner where she seemed looky, I rode her through it in shoulder-in. And if she got distracted, we did some circling. We also did some large circles of canter, though I still haven't cantered her around the full ring yet. We'll get there.

While she was very good during the ride, she was also VERY farty. Oh boy! Her still likely being in heat was probably contributing. After riding what seemed like an adequate amount for me, I got off and lunged her. Well!!!

She started off fine, but when I asked her to head towards the spooky bushes, she suddenly absolutely BOOKED IT, and wound up leaping in the air in some huge buck-farts. It was... hilarious. I could kind of tell she'd been dying to get something (well, gas, ha) out of her system during the ride, so I pushed her on, on the line, and let her tear around and do all the running, bucking, and farting she wanted. Thank goodness she's far too polite to try anything of the sort with a rider. Because I would DIE. 😂

I'm sure we were quite a spectacle, which was confirmed when my audience -- three ladies drinking wine outside the barn -- had a good laugh with me after.

So, all that was fine, really. I got Elle untacked and hosed her off. Then I took her for a walk, which is where we come to...

*Dumb decision number two:* cows. When I drove in, I noticed the cows in the field by the road were actually quite close to the road this time. I thought, great! This will be an opportunity to let Elle see them a little closer -- but still at a good distance -- and start to get used to them. Weeeellllll... She didn't notice the cows from QUITE far away enough, and then proceeded to have a mental meltdown. It was actually a pretty controlled meltdown, and I wasn't worried... until FOUR cars all chose that moment to come by on the normally VERY quiet road. Elle doesn't care about cars, and we were in no danger of Elle doing anything at all but standing there and staring and SNORTING, from the shoulder, but the drivers didn't know that and started creeeeeping up super slowly, with their four-ways flashing, bless them. One woman, as she sloooowly rolled by, called "ARE YOU OKAY??" out the window, with extreme concern. I said "Thank you, we're fine, she just DOES NOT LIKE the cows." And the woman laughed and kept driving. But geeeeeeeeeez how embarrassing. I'm worried one of the drivers will complain to the barn about me being OUT ON THE ROAD with an OUT OF CONTROL horse. When I was actually just standing off on the shoulder with a very snorty horse who was frozen in place. I preemptively explained to the barn manager what happened, but hopefully no one will say something. It is VERY much farm country there, after all.

Meanwhile, Elle was actually worse GOING back to the barn than she was coming out. JIGGY JOGGY JIGGY JOGGY trying to barge ahead of me all the way back up the road. Thank goodness I had the chain over her nose, because I was having to crank her head right back to her chest, practically, just to keep her with me. You know how you see those very snorty Arabian stallions showing in hand and looking murderously feral? That was us. Except... with a very large, ancient warmblood mare. Again, I maintain that we were not truly out of control. Maybe if I had been a beginner handler, but I'm not. But she was being A LOT.

She then... continued to be a lot, even back on home turf. But she was also standing with a hind leg cocked, so obviously no longer panicked. I made her do some turns on the forehand to disengage her back end some more, and get her focus back. Then I led her back out to the hay field and let her graze a bit so we could both calm the heck down. After some of that, I led her back towards the barn, but she was still pulling and jiggy jogging, chain and all. So I turned her loose in the outdoor arena and guided her a little with the lunge whip and let her walk and trot around on her own terms until she chilled out a bit again.

Whewwwwww!

After that, I put her away, and then went and collapsed in a sweaty heap by the ladies who had been drinking wine. We laughed and chatted a bit. Sadly, they had finished the wine -- because I sure as heck would not have said no to a glass after all that!!

Them: It's great that she's being so spicy at her age! That's what you want.
Me: Well... to a _point, _yes...

After that, I cleaned and conditioned my saddle, which looks like a million bucks still. Then I detangled Elle's tail, and packed Artimud into her hind frogs, which are getting a little thrushy again.










Then, home, and some Advil!!! 🥴

Crossing my fingers that someday soon she turns back into the puppy dog horse who calmly follows me everywhere on a loose lead. One can hope...


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## SteadyOn

Not having a great week. I've had a couple of INTENSE days of PMS, and yesterday it all kind of came to a head. Unfortunately.

One good thing, lately, is that my business is now closed Mondays and Tuesdays. At least I'm getting a little time away from other humans to clear my head a bit and get things done. Yesterday, though, I just absolutely HAD to get out of the house for a bit, and where does one go for that? Why, to the barn, of course!!

It was a funny weather day. A little windy, but not awful. Felt like a storm might be coming in. The outdoor arena, I was told, was a little wet, so I might want to use the indoor. Great! Elle seems more relaxed in the indoor there, which makes me more relaxed. My anxiety -- thanks, PMS -- has been dreadful for a few days.

Well, didn't Elle do a little flinch the second I put my foot in the iron to mount. It was small, but since mounting and dismounting are always vulnerable moments, I didn't like that much. Thinking back though on my seven year history of riding Elle, the worst she's EVER done during mounting is walk off a few steps. Like... twice. Caution is great, but I'm not sure why I picture her exploding or something. HAVE I had that happen? Well, yes, twice in a row with the green pony I was riding briefly a few years back. That pony shot backwards violently, clocked me in the face so hard with her neck that I had a black eye, and tripped over he back legs and fell. So... yeah, I guess I do have a little trauma there. But Elle? Never.

One we'd been on a few minutes, I heard the tractor start up outside one end of the arena. Elle noticed, but again, didn't DO anything at all. Didn't put a foot wrong. But having an anxious, bad day, I couldn't get out of my head about it and my nerves and body were betraying me. So frustrating. They were just grooming the outdoor arena with it but then I had visions of it coming in to do the indoor (even though everyone there is super professional and there is NO WAY they would do that without checking the arena first) but I wasn't in a rational headspace. I knew it was silly, but wheeee, brains. I hopped off and lunged Elle with her bungee side reins instead for a bit. It's good exercise for her, and was a way for me to get my brain out of the danger zone.

I hopped on her again for a few minutes after that, but I still wasn't really feeling it, so I thought, well, maybe we can try the outdoor now that it's groomed. I brought her out, but the breeze was picking up in the bushes and again, I just couldn't shake my anxiety. Elle was picking up on it, too, and was just being the tiniest bit funny about the wind, and the texture lines in the footing from the groomer, etc. Again, all in tiiiiiny ways that no one else would even notice. But fortunately/unfortunately I pick up EVERYTHING this horse puts out, and I was feeling too fragile to ride through even the slightest nervousness on her part.

It was not my day. So, I hopped off, stripped her, and just sent her out around the arena to do some free lungeing. I could relax, and Elle could get more acquainted with the outdoor arena on her own terms, and work off some energy. And I could see whether or not the things I thought would bother her actually would if I weren't on her to influence her.

Well...






Yeah, she did have a lot of energy -- just kept going and going and going for absolutely ages, without breaking a sweat -- but she looked quite relaxed, didn't avoid any areas, didn't spook at anything even slightly. I was definitely being my own worst enemy.

I tried walking her up the road again a little ways after -- the cows weren't out this time, and there was no traffic -- but the wind picked up and she was still very spooky and nervous in that setting. I led her back again, grazed her in the back field again for a few minutes, and then took her into the outdoor ring and just stood doing nothing with her for 10-15 minutes. Literally just standing there, doing a bit of the Warwick Schiller thing. In the first few minutes she let out a LOT of tension, with licked and chewing and stretching her mouth and jaw out a lot. She mooched for cookies a couple of times, too, and when I ran out of those she got some nice forehead rubs. So that bit of chilling out was good -- for both of us!

There's that saying: work with the horse you have today. Yesterday, the horse I had was pretty darn good. But maybe there should be another version: work with the rider you are today. And yesterday, the rider I was needed ground work!!!! Siiiiiiiiiigh!!!


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## whisperbaby22

That's a good idea. As a rider, if I do not feel up to doing something, I just go with that. Yes, we have goals, but for me it's a lot more than that.


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## SteadyOn

Very happy to report that yesterday went a lot better!

I wasn't actually planning to go out there, necessarily, but after meeting a friend for lunch (whom I never really get to see in person, as we live in different cities, but she happened to be passing through) the weather turned sunny and lovely. I had thrown my riding clothes in the car "just in case" and good thing I had!

I was still PMSing badly, but a sunny gorgeous day inspires a lot more confidence than one that feels stormy. I didn't dawdle around much, as I had to get home for my weekly movie night, but did have enough time not to feel rushed, either. I also had my preferred type of breeches with me -- although, with the PMS bloat, they BAAAARELY did up!!! I have been trying to lose a little weight lately, and I think I have slowly whittled down at least a little, but there's no fighting hormones.

So, determined to actually RIDE, and feeling nice and secure in the saddle in my cheapy Tuscany full seats -- no silicone, no "grip tek," just simple fake suede the way I like them -- and hoping I wouldn't pop the waist band, off we went.

Goals: ride around the track like normal people, without going "what if she doesn't like that corner/side/noise/planter/etc?" and avoiding any place I'd like us to be. Preferably at all three gaits.

How did we do? Pretty well, actually! While we didn't make it all the way around in canter, we did lots of full laps in trot, with minimal issues. We did do portions in canter, and some big circles and such, so it wasn't neglected.

Issues she had: 

She got very worried about people walking along the road, by the ring, who were pushing a stroller. What I did about it: I rode her away from them, then as they started to pass, I rode her back towards them so that we were pursuing them, which is always better for a horse's confidence. They went by twice, and I did the same thing both times. 

She didn't like one part of the bushy long side where we have to pass between a jump standard and the fence. What I did about it: circled her in trot so that she had to pass through that section several times, but without any lead up to where she would have a chance to worry about it. After that we were fine through there.

There was a flower bed in one corner that she gave side eye too and side-stepped a little to avoid when we passed it in trot and canter, a few times. It wasn't a big deal, but once you're worried about it, the anticipation makes it worse! What I did about it: I gave the flower bed a wider berth for a few passes, and then really focused on inside bend and pushing her to the outside, almost in a shoulder-in, as we worked on getting close to it in our passes. I also used walk circles past that patch, both directions, as a big part of our cooling out. And once I had dismounted and cooled her out a bit more, I walked her back over there, practically into the flower bed, and we just hung out there and she got cookies. She even nibbled a few stray bits of grass out of there! You can see one in her mouth here. Clearly that means she is now the apex predator and no longer needs to fear that corner.










Issues I had: I worry too much at times about what she MIGHT have a problem with, despite the fact that she doesn't have a problem with most things, and the things she doesn't like are honestly impossible to really predict. I mean, see above!! Full school buses were blasting past the road side of the arena, but those didn't make the list at all because she just did not care. But a stroller? A flower bed? Who could have known. And she wasn't so "bad" about either of those things that them being unexpected was actually much of a problem. I got nervous when a kid at the place was on his little scooter in the driveway, even though that's never bothered her. I got nervous when some of the barn staff went past and started hammering on a gate behind the screen of trees that she already doesn't like. But Elle didn't care about those things. I think it's good to be aware of these things, for me, _in case_, but that doesn't mean I need to shut down and catastrophize. 

Also, my seat felt really good. Thank you, good breeches!! There was a LOT of weight in the reins, but Elle has a pretty hard mouth at times and she was being heavy in the contact. Not pulling, just being strong into it. It was her choice, and that's where she put herself. She has a mild bit -- nothing wrong with her brakes or steering or anything -- but the other side of that is that she can feel like holding up a weight. My shoulders have been feeling it! Oh well, I'm sure we'll get lighter again as we both relax more.

Oh! And I learned afterwards that a fox has occasionally been hanging out in that flower bed. So maybe Elle wasn't just being a sillypants about it after all! Though I'm absolutely sure it wasn't in there yesterday, and Elle wasn't snorting at it, so I don't think it was a smell thing. Who knows.

Anyhow my ride, and my mood, were as different as the weather both days. Hopefully this is the beginning of us getting back to normal-ish!!


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## SteadyOn

I've had a few rides since my last post, but whewwwww what a week (or however long it's been). Work stress has been horrendous, and my body wasn't helping by delivering a full week-long dreadful period that had me incredibly anxious, depressed, and exhausted.

I had a lesson last Thursday, which was a good thing (I mean it always is!) because my nerves were pretty shot that day. Elle did NOTHING wrong, but I was absolutely wired and every little tractor noise, voice, barn noise, etc., had my worried something was going to happen and I would die tragically, or something. Luckily my coach was there to keep me on track. The ONLY reaction Elle had to was pop her head up when she heard a tractor start behind her outside the doors at one end, but that was it. So, yeah. Nothing. Later she was in the cross ties in the wash stall while a tractor moved up the aisle to dump shavings, about three feet away from her, and she didn't even blink. Again, it is confirmed, I am the spooky one!

Saturday night was wet and grey. I was still exhausted and feeling awful. I free lunged her in the outdoor arena, and she was relaxed and even a little pokey. Again, didn't put a foot wrong. I thought, great, I'll tack her up and ride her in the indoor. Which I did, and another girl -- a really excellent rider in her teens or twenties -- was in there cantering lots of laps on her OTTB. I really like this girl, and she was perfectly polite about sharing the ring, but between my dreadful period symptoms and the fast circles around me, I started to feel really dizzy -- even at a standstill. Not a great feeling for riding!!!

Well, this girl was just finishing up with her guy, and Elle still hadn't really been ridden... so I said "Hey what would you think about taking her for a spin?" She JUMPED at the idea! I had my dressage saddle on, and this girl is very much a jumper rider, so I offered to switch saddles and she said "No I think it'll be fun to try!" As she led Elle to the mounting block, she asked if there was anything she needed to know or if Elle had any quirks. It was nice to be able to honestly say "Nope, nothing!"

She rode her for about 15-20 minutes, walk trot and canter, and it was quite lovely to watch. Elle was perfectly behaved for her -- except when she stopped to walk over some trot poles, but she had already done that to me earlier. And they got that sorted out. It made me feel better that Elle got a nice workout, and that this girl really enjoyed her ride and thought she was lovely. I'm still trying to find a part boarder for her -- but like, VERY casually trying, as in not really trying -- so a little good word of mouth couldn't hurt!

Last night I went out again and... well, it was a bit of a cursed night from the get go. I got Elle tacked up fine, then started walking her to the mounting block... when the zipper let go on the heel of my left boot. It had been on its way out for a while, but it was still unpleasant to have it finally give up the ghost, with that kind of timing. Well, no worries, I thought. My knee-high rubber barn boots have a good heel and I've ridden in them before. So I just asked a student to hold Elle for a second, and switched boots. 

Our ride was actually really good! Unfortunately Elle's cough is back now that she's off her prednisolone again. I let her run out of it to see if she'd be better now that we're through spring and summer, but alas, it's still allergy season, I guess. Just a different allergy season. I'm still going to see if I can manage it with Respi-Free or something. At least this barn is perfectly happy to slip her some in an oral syringe every morning! The 'roids do seem to make her feel GREAT though, so if they become a lasting thing, so be it. She doesn't seem to be having any negative side effects from them. But I would still like to try other management strategies.

We did some full laps of WTC, and some circles. A couple sloppy flying changes, whoops. Elle was a little reluctant to canter a few times, I think because of the mucus in her lungs, which gets shaken up at that gait, but it's best with her to just shake it up and clear it out. And then she's good. She was actually fine on Saturday night for me, but I think not being ridden for a few days contributed to her lungs filling up a bit more. Over all though, it was a really good ride! I felt quite relaxed through most of it, which does tell me a lot of my stress and anxiety before was, indeed, to do with my stupid hormones.

HOWEVER... when I dismounted, I discovered to my absolute horror that my rubber boots had scuffed up the flaps of my completely-brand-new saddle!!! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh. I immediately untacked, popped Elle in her stall (she wasn't sweaty so the grooming could wait, ha) and ATTACKED the saddle with water and a soft brush and liquid saddle soap. It... didn't really help much. Once it was dry-ish I rubbed in a ton of Passier Lederbalsam. I'll have to see how it looks on my next visit, once I've calmed down a little and can look it over more objectively. I think the rubber rubbed off onto the leather, more than the leather dye rubbing off onto the rubber, but it's hard to say. Fingers crossed!! I've ridden in those boots before and never had a problem, but thsi saddle has a specially finished grippy leather, and I'd never used these boots in it before. What a bummer!!!!! But I couldn't have known.

After all that, I did Elle's supplements, and then spilled an ENTIRE container of salt all over the tack room floor. At least it was the cheapest thing I add to her cups, at about $2 a box! So it just went in the garbage.

Really not my night, though! At least I have back-up leather boots at home. Going to try a ride again tonight. Fingers crossed for a less ridiculous time!!!


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## SteadyOn

Last night's ride was... lovely! The weather was perfect. Sunny and cool, but not too cold. Just right for riding in a long-sleeved shirt. The colours are just starting to come up on the leaves, and should probably peak here in about a week!

I'm happy to report that my saddle scuffs aren't anywhere near as bad as they looked/seemed to me the night before. I think the cleaning, conditioning, plus a good night's sleep and less panic made them look better. I don't think anyone looking at the saddle would notice them now if they weren't looking for them, and they'll probably improve with time, wear, and further cleanings.

It has actually been a nice routine, at this place, to clean my tack after every ride. There's a dedicated cleaning station, a dedicated bucket for the water, and a bin of clean towels and rags. I think I've mentioned it before, but they do all your horse laundry for you! You just toss any dirty saddle pads, girths, towels, etc., in the laundry basket, and they wash and dry them and put them away for you. Swank!! The service and care at this new place are soooooo good!!

Anyhow, it was such perfect weather that riding outside was a no brainer. The footing was a little wet, but I just avoided the really wet end. Elle tripped once during canter in some tractor tire tracks in there, but I think it was more to do with her being visually distracted by them than a footing issue. Oh well, we lived.

She's been off her prednisolone for a little over a week now and I think she's mellowed back down again since being off it. She's more herself, and seems less wired. Hopefully she stays looking and feeling as good, though, otherwise!! Fingers crossed. Happy to report that she only coughed once during last night's ride! And we cantered A LOT, which is what usually stirs it up. I think riding two days in a row was good for keeping that lung goo mobile.

We did walk, trot, and canter, and made it around lots of laps with no issues at all! She looked askance here and there at things, but only to a small degree and I was in the right mood to be encouraging and just push on with her instead of worrying about everything. The only thing she actually reacted to at all was a guy walking by with a dog, on the road, and I think the sun was in her eyes for that, so fair enough.

Half way through the ride, I rode her out to the back field. Not all the way to the back BACK field, but just the back one. She was tense going up the laneway beside the pastures, to get there, and so was I as a result. (Chicken and egg and all that.) So I dealt with it by having her walk forward a few steps, and when her head and ears came up, I wiggled the reins back and forth to ask her to lower her head, and waited for her neck to relax and her ears to soften. Then repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, until we were out of the laneway and into the field. We zig-zagged around out there at the walk, a bit, and I let her have a little grazing reward, but she didn't settle down as completely as the last time I rode her out there. I rode her back to the laneway, but hopped off to lead her back down it. Would she have been fine? Yeah, probably, but it occurred to me that I'm also desensitizing myself. Too many bad experiences in my childhood with spooking and bolting horses, and I can only keep that at bay just so long in my head.

I led her back to the ring and hopped on again, and got back to work in there. Did lots of walk, trot, and canter, with a ton of transitions, and some flying changes. She was a bit pokier -- I don't think the footing helped -- but at least I felt totally relaxed and trusting, again, riding her. The owner/jumping coach saw our canter work and poked a bit of gentle fun at us for how slooooowwww the canter was. Hey, I'm not in a jump off!! Slow works for me!! 😁

She had a lot of nice things to say about Elle. That she was obviously healthy, and well bred, and that she'd probably make amazing babies. She couldn't believe that she's 25. Seems no one can!

All in all, the ride was really nice. Our walk-canter-walk transitions were good, and I wasn't having that weird thing happen where I get pitched going into right lead canter.

After the ride, I took Elle for a hand-walk out to the back field AND the back-back field. She was much more relaxed being led than she was under saddle. I didn't use the chain, and she wasn't rushing ahead or pulling me around to snatch grass or drag me back to the barn. THIS is the horse I'm used to!!

All in all, a nice night, and free of the follies of the night before. I was on her for easily an hour -- though we certainly didn't work that whole time, by any means -- and I didn't want to get off! Aaaaahhhhhhhhh much better!!!


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## SteadyOn

I’ve had two rides since my last post, both quite lovely! The fall weather has been absolutely gorgeous, and I wish I could get out there every day, but time constraints have kept me to only two, maaaybe three visits a week of late. Fortunately life slows down quite a bit for me after the 16th, when the town’s big enormous fall festival ends! We’ll be right in the middle of it, figuratively and literally, so it’s pretty all consuming. Hopefully we’ll still have some nice fall weather for outdoor riding after that. But anything can happen.

I've noticed that Elle has been a lot more normal since going off the prednisolone. It did give her more energy when she was at the old barn, but i think the difference there was less noticeable because she was already so established and relaxed in that setting. The prednisolone combined with the move and the change in feed, and routine, etc., probably all contributed to her seeming so (relatively) wired.

Here she is staring at horses in the distance the other night. Note that her head is NOT straight up in the air, and her eyes are soft. She's interested, but not stressed. Before she was being much more of an anxious giraffe about anything remotely stimulating.










Sunday’s ride was very relaxed and lovely. We were able to use the whole outside ring with no issue… up until a huge flock of loud birds spent fifteen minutes hanging out in the bush along one long side of the ring, loudly squawking their heads off. Nothing happened as a result of that, other than Elle seeming concerned (fair) heading that way. So I just gave that side a wide berth until the birds moved on. After that, I successfully rode Elle alone to the very back field! No issues with that — except that I’ve created a bit of a monster by letting her graze a little during these rides. Oh well, whatever makes hacking out alone pleasant for her!

Last night’s ride was a bit of a repeat, except that Elle was a little more looky and a tad less obedient during our ride in the ring. Nothing major, but it felt more like a schooling session than most of our rides tend to be. Sometimes it’s just like that, with any horse. I’m certainly learning to press on and/or redirect when something distracts or upsets her, instead of shutting down about it. Her behaving more normally, and my sense of confidence and wellbeing being better now that I've settled in more — and my hormones aren’t terrible — has helped immensely.

One funny thing last night: I was going to ride her all the way to the second field, but she was being just a touch more looky than usual about the wooded pathway between the fields. I kept redirecting her and then pointing her back that way, and she seemed concerned about it every time so I knew it wasn’t just in my head. Well, I thought, no harm in dismounting and just walking back there. And what do you know! The second we got to the end of that little path there were a BUNCH of wild turkeys right there. Elle froze and turned into a giraffe, and i was very glad i had paid attention to her earlier signals. The turkeys started to waddle away from us in a big hurry, and Elle calmed down as they retreated. We slow-chased them on foot to help Elle’s confidence. I know she’s seen wild turkeys a lot, but everything is different when it’s a sudden surprise around a corner!

I’ve also really enjoyed being on top of cleaning my tack at the new place. There’s a dedicated tack cleaning area in the aisle, with a saddle stand and bridle hooks, and a little bucket for everyone’s use. I just put warm water in the bucket, grab a microfibre cloth from the communal clean rags bucket, and some of my own saddle soap, and in under ten minutes i can wipe everything down after my rides. It’s such a pleasant routine now that I feel weird any time I have to skip it! Whereas tack cleaning at the previous place was such an annoying hassle that I’m ashamed to say… it happened very rarely.

Oh and I did get my boot with the split zipper in for repair last week, so that should be ready soon! I’ve since tried riding in my paddock boots and half chaps, but my calves have, er, gotten wider since I was using those regularly. i guess. the zippers kept coming down! So it’s been back to my nice dress boots for now… and then they’ll go back to being stored for special occasions, once more.

Also, I gave Elle a little bridle path trim the other night. She's never had one in all the time I've known her, but I thought a short one might at least help keep her sad little puff of a forelock from getting mixed up in her halter or bridle. Maybe give it more of a chance to do... something. Ha, wishful thinking, I'm sure.

The fall colours have quite a ways to go, but here's a peek at my view from last night's ride, before the turkey attack!


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## whisperbaby22

Thanks for the photos. Elle looks fantastic in that photo, you could have a portrait done of that someday. I have never lived where there were fall colors, I like seeing them.


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## SteadyOn

Whoops, I've once again been so caught up in life stuff that I haven't been updating here. Honestly though, there hasn't been much to report riding wise due to lots of life complications, and horse-housing complications, which I've summarized mostly in another thread! You can read all the details there. But here's the quick-and-dirty summary of everything:

The thread:








Well, it was nice while it lasted.... Moving again. :(


As many of you know, I went through a lot of searching (soul searching and literal searching) to find a new place to move Elle where we wouldn't have some of the complications of our previous boarding situation. I moved her at the beginning of August to a lovely barn! Since that time there have...




www.horseforum.com





The summary:
-Early October: I got caught up in a couple of my busiest work weeks of the entire year, and didn't have much time or energy to see Elle much or do really any riding of consequence
-At the same time, Elle had run out of prednisolone, which she's been on for much of this year to help with inflammatory breathing issues caused by allergies. I thought we were late enough into the season to be able to stop the drugs, but after a short time off of them she started to slide back into being too phlegmy and coughy when she tried to work. So she mostly just hung around being a horse for a couple of weeks, until I had a chance to get her back onto it.
-On the weekend of the 14-16, I worked a HUUUUUUGE festival in my town, that requires a crazy output of effort and energy from my partner and I and our families.
-On October 17, I hadn't seen Elle for a full week, and finally went to visit her. Hoped for a nice relaxing time with her, even if she was too wheezy for much of a ride, but learned that THE ENTIRE BARN WAS BEING EVICTED on short notice because the property was sold out of the blue, and the new owner wanted the place for the start of December, and didn't want to keep any of the boarders. We had until the end of November to be out.
-I looked into some options, but ultimately found a place that should be PERFECT for us, that could take us any time from November 10 onward
-I let the barn know we'd be moving on the 10th, only to learn EVERYONE would be gone at the BEGINNING of November, and I no longer had the option of staying there until the 10th, despite what their written notice had said
-I had to figure out "temporary horse parking," which Elle has been at since the 30th, until I can transport her on the 12th to the hopefully-longterm place. It's actually a lovely property with huge grassy paddocks, an indoor, and the price is good. The owners are very professional and attentive and nice. However, it's farther than I want to drive, and it's outdoor board (which is fine until we hit the stuuuuuuupidly cold winter temperatures here) so it's not going to work longterm. But for a two week stop? PERFECT. My coach set it up for us and it couldn't be better!

So that's where we're at!

Elle was an absolute dragon at first when I moved her to this temporary stop. Which isn't too surprising as they tend to be pretty "up" after a change. Buuuuuuut. I had learned, the day we left the sold place, that she had been getting SIX CUPS A DAY of either Purina Senior or Fit and Fibre (a rich processed grain that, these days at least, has lots of molasses) where she was. And that was AFTER they said they "cut it in half" when I complained about her being too hot. Geeeeeeeeeeez. So right now she's on NO grain, just a balancer, forage, and her supplements and W3 oil. And 24/7 turnout. And hopefully that helps her "come down" off her kid-in-a-candy-store high. I tried to ride her on Tuesday, by myself, and lunged her first and she just RAN and RAN. And she was too distracted when I tried to ride her, which made me too worried, which then made me totally ineffective. And I was also getting over a cold, so I didn't have the energy and balance I normally would have. So I hopped off and free-lunged and she ran and ran and ran some more.

Thursday morning I had a lesson with my coach, and I had her ride first, but it was obvious that Elle had, uh, detoxed a bit both physically and mentally from her sugar rush, and she was PERFECT. My riding portion of the lesson was pretty short, but I was certainly feeling it in every muscle! I need to get back into slightly better riding shape again now that I'll be able to do it more regularly, hopefully.

What a STUPID month though. I'll be happy to have all this moving out of the way for us, and get settled in at the new place. It's clean, it's cute, it has a great indoor, clean paddocks, not too many people, no lesson program, and they'll feed EXACTLY what I want her to get! Sigh!!!!

Here's a pic from a couple weeks ago, when the leaves were still good. This is what I get for trying to get a "nice fall horse photo." Never work with kids or animals.


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## whisperbaby22

Whenever I try to get a photo, my horse comes over to see what I am doing and all I get is a picture of a nose.


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## SteadyOn

whisperbaby22 said:


> Whenever I try to get a photo, my horse comes over to see what I am doing and all I get is a picture of a nose.


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## SteadyOn

I've been a bit remiss updating here because developments lately have seem big enough to warrant their own threads! But as of this past Saturday morning, we have moved to the hopefully longterm place.

Some details and quite a few pics are here, but all I can really say so far is WOW, it's goooooorgeous.









The eagle has landed! Elle has moved for real now


Moved Elle to the new — and hopefully long term — barn this morning! For those who were following along, after our whole previous barn getting evicted on short notice with the sale of that place, this was “option C.” The long shot option — and the very best one! Closest to my place Lots of...




www.horseforum.com





So far Elle has been in a paddock by herself while she adjusts, but she has horses around her in the adjacent ones. She has been doing a bit of pacing, but it's also a big adjustment pretty soon after a big adjustment... after a big adjustment... It's been a lot for her, I'm sure. Once she's got a buddy in her paddock right with her, she'll probably feel a lot better. But I appreciate and respect that they're doing the introductions slowly.

I summarize a few things I like about this place (umm, everything??) in the link above, but a few other things I like, too:

-hot and cold wash stall
-automatic waterers in stalls
-automatic, freeze-free watering posts in paddocks
-shelters in every paddock
-paddocks and outdoor arena are high and dry
-halter-free turnout
-fed both netted hay and loose hay on the floor at nights, so they get the benefits of both slow feeding and reaching down to eat off the ground
-barn is kept above freezing (for the plumbing), so no need for stable blankets at night
-heated tack room and washroom, with laundry facilities
-open concept barn/stalls, so lots of ventilation and the horses can always see each other
-indoor arena is groomed daily
-small enough group of riders that we could probably ALL be in the indoor at once and still manage, so arena time isn't an issue
-owners seem very attentive of everything happening, and very safety conscious
-trails nearby
-everything is clean clean clean clean

I haven't ridden her yet, but I'm hoping to get a ride in on her tomorrow morning! So exciting. Will definitely update after that!


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## SteadyOn

Well, I just went and had my first ride at the new barn, this morning. Elle was a little excitable coming in, and a bit iffy about going in to the wash stall to get tacked up. But both in only minor, very manageable ways. All in all she was very cooperative. I opted to tack her up in the wash stall as the aisles are VERY wide, meaning that she'd be kind of floating in space if I tried to use those cross ties. And given her history of sometimes pulling back when cross-tied in open space... wash stall it was!

They have a few saddle stands hung up on the walls in there, so it was easy to grab one to gather all the stuff for tacking up. Elle was quite good aside from a little excitement. I did notice her feet have worn considerably since she arrived there. I actually just got off the phone with the farrier, who said he's seeing a lot of sudden wear with the snowfall softening up everyone's feet. Plus Elle has been pacing A LOT since the move. Two things are causing this: one, she's in a paddock alone, although she's surrounded by other horses on the fence line. Two, she's gone from being a lush green field to sudden ice and snowfall blanketing everything, and her having a netted round bale as her grazing replacement. She's had netted hay before, so it should be fine, but she got a bit spoiled. Tomorrow she'll be going in with another horse, finally, so that should remedy the pacing. I respect and appreciate that they wanted to do a slow herd introduction, but I'm glad that's done now and she'll have a buddy.

The ride itself was completely uneventful. And I mean completely, in the best possible way. She was energetic, but barely even looky about anything. Didn't put a single foot wrong. We did some walk, trot, and canter work. There were a few times I exaggerated my inside aids to refocus her when something outside caught her eye, through the windows, but it was so minor that I don't think it would have mattered if I hadn't. Our canter transitions were a little laggy, but I've barely been riding at all in the last month, with everything happening, so that was the least of my concerns.

After the ride, I got her blanket back on to go out, and I heard them start up their big snowplow to clear up the driveway. They were using it just outside the indoor arena, and it was really loud, so I led Elle in there again to see how she would react. She stood watching and listening for a minute or so, then she trotted across the arena -- which I let her do while I held the lead and followed -- TOWARDS the plow to watch it through the window. GOOD GIRL!!! Haha, I guess that answers my question about whether or not I have to worry about it spooking her in future.










Afterwards, I did a little tack cleaning -- it was definitely overdue -- and came home and back to work. I'm excited for her to have a buddy in the field again, as of tomorrow, as I think that's the last piece of the puzzle to her properly settling in.

Whewwwwwww!!!


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## SteadyOn

Last night was my first chance to get out there again since Wednesday. I had planned to ride on Friday morning, but woke up to total white-out conditions here that lasted all day and most of the evening. SO MUCH SNOW, ughhhhh. I know there are people who say "winter is my favourite season!" and as someone who lives in a place where winter is a five-month-long torment, I have to question their sanity.

Elle was happily munching her netted hay when I got there, with hay bits flying all over her face. She's comically violent with the hay net. At least she's enthusiastic!! I think she's lost a bit of weight since the move(s), but she was very bulked out at the place we were all evicted from, so she had some room to lose a bit and still look really good. She spent the first five days at this place pacing, and barely eating, so I'm not surprised. Hopefully now that she has a good buddy in her paddock (they're super cute together!) and has totally stopped fretting and is happily eating, she'll gain and/or maintain again.

Speaking of all that pacing, it did a number on her feet in just those few short days. They're _okay_ but they wore oddly and quickly, between all the movement and the wet snow softening them up. I have my farrier coming on Wednesday to even them out again. Fun fact: I've never met my farrier. He was the farrier from the now-ex-barn that I moved to in the summer, and they always just looked after holding all the horses. So we never crossed paths. I really liked the work he did, though. He does a good barefoot trim, and seems to be great at trimming just the right amount. My previous farrier NEVER touched her frogs, which was maddening because they really did need at least SOME clean-up to help keep the thrush at bay. I hate it when farriers treat frogs like they're slicing a block of cheese, but like... come on. At least trim off the shedding material. I had to get my own hoof knives and go in after the previous guy trimmed. No good.

Our ride was nice. I gave her a long walk warmup and then rode for about half an hour. Her ears were perky but she wasn't spooky. I avoided the far end a bit -- not because she "did" anything but because there always seems to be something I get in my head about, and that's where she was lookiest, so I thought... meh, we'll use the whole arena another day. Still used the 3/4 of it closest to the barn though, without any issues. Elle was a bit strung out and on the forehand, and I was having trouble putting her together, but it's kind of the consequence of my own (in)action. I've barely ridden in the last two months and I feel like a bit of a mess. We did some walk trot and canter, and were a bit sloppy and crooked, but we got the job done. It didn't help that her lungs were a bit rattly -- I think the sudden temperature and humidity changes are aggravating her -- though it wasn't affecting her energy levels. Once I get my rhythm back, and she's more settled again (and used to the weather), I think we'll be just fine. At least she's off all the hot sugary grain, so I should have my sensible old girl back. There was one loud bang from outside that made her flinch a little last night, but that was it. Can't complain about that!

After the ride, I hopped off and free lunged her. I can tell that the footing in this indoor is firmer than at the last place, but I think it'll suit us just fine. They groom it almost daily, and she was very happy to move out on it. At least it's not the gravel we were riding on at the place I left earlier this year! That can't have felt nice on her old joints.

One mental adjustment I'll have to make is that the horses don't wear stable blankets at night. The barn is heated to 5 degrees Celsius (40 F) at all times, to keep the plumbing from freezing, and the horses have hay all night and there isn't a hint of a draft coming through there. So there's no reason to blanket them. Elle isn't clipped, though her coat is pretty fine. I'm sure she's perfectly happy but I still found a way to lie awake thinking "But IS she?" (Yes, yes she is.)


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## Knave

To be honest I am that person. I rarely mess with frogs. Thrush isn’t much of a thing in this dry environment though. Husband had a talk with me this last batch of horses I did. Queen’s frog was shedding, and he came over and did the frogs on all three of the horses I trim. He explained why he dislikes the notion of not doing frogs that I take… (He was shoeing Cash at this time.) 

They look lots better parred way down. I can tell you why I have a phobia of it though. My mother was showing this horse who was on top of the nation. He was unbeatable. Well, one night a person snuck into his stall at a show and cut his frog out of his hoof completely, crippling him for an extended time.

I guess my brain struggles to have any confidence cutting on the frog beyond what sticks above the line of the hoof because I can’t get over that story.


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## whisperbaby22

What a horrible story!

But I live in a part of the country that gets long hot summers. Winters here are gorgeous. In fact I took some photos recently and am planning on putting them on the trail riding section. 

As for having to blanket her, here I have a fan going in the summer. We rarely blanket horses around here, summers unless I get up early I don't ride.


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## SteadyOn

Yesterday I had my first lesson on Elle at the new barn. My coach was super impressed with the place, and with what she could tell about the care. She was also very pleased with how Elle looks right now. She’s not quite as bulked out as she was at the place that evicted everyone, but she looks very fit, thick in all the right places still, and has no hay belly at all for the first time in recent memory. Her temperament and energy levels have normalized a bit more too, thankfully, now that she isn’t turbo charged on too much sugary processed feed. And she’s much less gassy. As I said to my coach, I wasn’t enjoying the “fart, fart, fart, spook, fart fart spook” experience. She’s being much more her steady eddie self, and I’m sure that will only improve as she settles in more and we get her working more consistently again.

As is usually the case, a lesson was just what I needed to get out of my head, and to get some direction and confidence again. We did a lot of work on collecting and extending her walk and trot, which has the side benefit of engaging her hocks more and getting her off the forehand a bit. We also did some loops and leg yields to the wall, in trot, which are a good mental and physical exercise. They also help me build spatial awareness in the new arena, too! I was waaay off in guessing at centre line, for example. No matter how much you practice on your own, there’s no substitute for eyes on the ground. And when you tend towards nervous whatiffery like I do, having someone keeping you on task is crucial.

I needed a little break and asked my coach if she wanted to hop on and try out the new arena. Certainly didn’t have to twist her arm!! She did some walk, trot, and canter, and kept praising Elle. She definitely enjoyed getting back on her old horse! I got back on after to finish the lesson, and did lots of large circles in canter, working on getting me to relax, and on what I needed to do as a rider to compensate for Elle’s idiosyncrasies and keep her straight and on the correct bend. I have a tendency to be be too firm on my left rein when I’m tracking right. I take the outside rein connection too far. My coach says it’s not a major problem — just lots of fine tuning. Even though I feel rusty and sloppy lately, she said my riding it looking really good for the most part.

Today the farrier came out, and we talked about trimming frogs and what constituted too much vs not enough. I like how this guy handles them; he trims enough to make sure there aren’t flaps and problem areas collecting debris and harbouring thrush, but never over-trims them either. Elle really just needed a bit of a cleanup rather than an aggressive trim, but I’d rather maintain nice feet by addressing them “too soon” than have to correct problems later.

Poor Elle though. I keep accidentally shocking her. The cold dry air, and dealing with blankets, means I’m a walking static factory. Even touching metal before touching her isn’t helping, and she’s reacting to static shocks so tiny I can’t even feel them. It’s making her wary of my hand coming near her nose. Oh well. I’m sure she’ll be over it soon enough and back to whuffling at my hands for treats.

After the trim, I didn’t really have time to ride, so gave her a quick free lunge workout instead. Always a nice substitute in a pinch.


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## Txshecat0423

“Nervous whatiffery” made me laugh out loud 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## SteadyOn

No updates. Just a bit of whining today. I've been bowled over by a rotten cold this week -- my second cold just this month after basically not having anything throughout the whole pandemic -- and haven't been able to ride since my lesson on Tuesday. Haven't been out to the barn since Wednesday. It's now Saturday. Hoping I'm feeling well enough to go tomorrow night. It feels like every time I have even a squidge more time to possibly get back to riding more again, something happens. The weather gets horrid, or my schedule gets too full with things beyond my control. Or I get sick. This past few months has not been conducive to me doing much with my riding, at all, and I feel badly that Elle isn't getting more exercise than she is. Feeling a bit inadequate about it at the moment.

However, despite the fact that I'm definitely losing some riding fitness through all this, she does still seem to be holding her own fitness levels. So that's good. I worry, letting an older horse sit too much. But at least I know she's in great hands at this place, at least so far, and missing most of a week isn't the end of the world. I just hate how often that keeps happening lately. 

Winter is never pleasant here though. It's miserable, and I hate going outside. It drags on from mid-November, typically, until the end of March at the earliest. That's far too much of the year, if you ask me. There's a window in the spring, when the snow is mostly gone and the footing isn't too wet, where one can ride pretty comfortably without being consumed by bugs. Then the blackflies and mosquitos move in, and the blackflies end, to be replaced by deerflies and horseflies. September and October are lovely, at least. And bug spray keeps things manageable most of the rest of the time.

I'm already longing for those far off spring days, when I can take Elle for walks along the trails at the new place. (Not sure how confident I feel about riding her on them solo, but going for walk/jogs is nice too. And at least I'll have the option.) Sounds like there will be some group hacking opportunities as well.

But as for today, I unfortunately have to work, so I'm slogging along, masked up, and sanitizing, and popping cold pills like candy, waiting. Blecchhhhhh.


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## Txshecat0423

I’m sorry you don’t feel well.

I just wanted to say I feel your pain on the weather interfering with riding.
My BIL brought the possible new
gelding to me on Tuesday morning so I could get to know him and ride him, see if we’re a good fit, etc. It has rained almost every minute since he’s been here with our first sighting of sun finally making appearance today. The pasture is soaked and I park my trailer in the pasture, so it’s too wet to even try to pull it out and haul anywhere, even if a covered arena was available. 

ETA: New boy is fairly young and she had been riding him 5-6 days/week.
I feel guilty I haven’t been able to keep up that consistency 

Hope you get to feeling better soon!


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## SteadyOn

Txshecat0423 said:


> I’m sorry you don’t feel well.
> 
> I just wanted to say I feel your pain on the weather interfering with riding.
> My BIL brought the possible new
> gelding to me on Tuesday morning so I could get to know him and ride him, see if we’re a good fit, etc. It has rained almost every minute since he’s been here with our first sighting of sun finally making appearance today. The pasture is soaked and I park my trailer in the pasture, so it’s too wet to even try to pull it out and haul anywhere, even if a covered arena was available.
> 
> ETA: New boy is fairly young and she had been riding him 5-6 days/week.
> I feel guilty I haven’t been able to keep up that consistency
> 
> Hope you get to feeling better soon!


Ohhhh, bummer! Yeah, hard to have a horse "on trial" when there's no trying.

I laughed a bit when I signed the bill of sale for Elle. It said something like "after the agreed upon trial period" and, having ridden her for five straight years by then, I said "heck of a trial!"

And thanks! Just had another negative test, so at least that's reassuring. Just a stupid, annoying, run of the mill, inconvenient cold. 🤧


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## SteadyOn

Starting to feel slightly better, but now my left eye is red, and swollen half shut, and all gooped up. I look like I have pinkeye. And I can barely see out of it. This has not been my week.


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## knightrider

Maybe you do have pinkeye?


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## SteadyOn

knightrider said:


> Maybe you do have pinkeye?


There's a few forms, so I probably do.  Blechhh. I likely have viral conjunctivitis as a complication of the cold. I suspect it has a bacterial element to it too, as I found some antibiotic eyedrops while digging through my medicine cabinet, and -- while I still very much look like I've been punched in the face -- my eyes hurt less and are far less goopy since I started those. Still very red though. I basically look like one of the zombies from 28 Days Later. 

Apparently Elle has been settling in all right, still, in my absence. She pulled a little jailbreak and snuck out of the field behind her new boyfriend when they brought him in one day, but all she did was follow him to the barn. Cheeky, but not TOO cheeky. I miss her very much, but it's a good thing I didn't try to go out last night. My eyes got so goopy I could barely see. And I've tried to spend most of the day so far, today, in bed, to hopefully speed recovery. Knocking on wood and crossing all my fingers and toes that I can, finally, get out there tomorrow. We'll seeeeee.


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## knightrider

I taught school for 32 years and got a lot of pink-eye. It is very contagious and young children hang all over their teacher. At some point, a doctor told me to make a washcloth as hot as I could stand it, wring it out, and lay it over my eyes until it cools. Do that as many times as you can bear it. Very boring, yes. It helped to listen to an audiotape of an intriguing story. I found this sped up the healing nicely. I also started doing it when I thought I _might _be getting pink-eye, or when I thought I was pretty sure I was getting pink-eye. I warded it off about 30% to 50% of the time just using the washcloth. Use a clean one every time because the goop is very contagious.


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## SteadyOn

knightrider said:


> I taught school for 32 years and got a lot of pink-eye. It is very contagious and young children hang all over their teacher. At some point, a doctor told me to make a washcloth as hot as I could stand it, wring it out, and lay it over my eyes until it cools. Do that as many times as you can bear it. Very boring, yes. It helped to listen to an audiotape of an intriguing story. I found this sped up the healing nicely. I also started doing it when I thought I _might _be getting pink-eye, or when I thought I was pretty sure I was getting pink-eye. I warded it off about 30% to 50% of the time just using the washcloth. Use a clean one every time because the goop is very contagious.


Yeah heat definitely helped!! I had a blisteringly hot shower and let the water run over my scuzzy eyelids, the night they were the worst, and it was heaven. I didn't want to get out!

Today my eyes aren't totally back to normal, but they're within the normal levels of pinkness and puffiness of someone with a cold, with no discharge. Phew. Still definitely sick though. Still haven't been out to see Elle. 😞 Tomorrow will make it a full week -- but I definitely plan to go then unless I'm still feeling really dreaful. I feel like tomorrow is going to be a much better day though, health wise. This could of course have been worse, but what an annoying virus, whatever this is. I actually know of several people in my area who have/had brutal colds dragging on for weeks, so -- assuming I am finally turning the corner -- I've actually been lucky in comparison.


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## SteadyOn

Aaaaaahhhhhhaahahahhhhhhhhhhhh FINALLY!! Got out to the barn this afternoon. The second I walked in the tack room entrance and got a whiff of HORSE I was sooo happy.

This morning I woke up with a sore throat, still, but most other things feeling mostly normal. I think this cold is more or less done with me, and now my body is just fixing up the damage. So still a little raspy, still feeling a little stuffy in my chest and inner ears, but my eyeballs are back to normal, my sinuses are clear, and my energy levels are improving. 

I worked at my shop until after lunch, at which point my guy took pity on me and let me go out to the barn early. He knew I was in withdrawal! I had my barn clothes on in seconds and he could probably hear tires squealing as I hit the road. Wind buffeted the car the whole way down the highway, but conditions were otherwise pretty good! Weather hasn't necessarily been on my side lately, but nothing was stopping me today.

I decided to just have a bit of a play day with Elle, and enjoy her company, as I missed her so much! I gave her a quick grooming in the wash stall -- where she's sadly still worried that I'm going to give her static shocks, but we'll work on that -- before bringing her into the indoor and just working with her at liberty.










The very first thing she did, of course, was to go have a good roll in the sand. She was damp from being out in the rain, and nothing feels better than a roll in the indoor for a damp horse!!!

After that, we jogged around a bit together. I was easily winded from being sick, of course, though not as bad as I had expected. We just sort of ran a bit both ways, her mostly trotting. Me either guiding or trying to keep up (on an inside circle of course). I didn't have the lunge whip or any goal in mind.

When we were done playing like that, I set up a single small jump for her along the rail on one side, and she had fun POWERING over it again and again in a flat gallop. When she'd had some fun with that, I set up what should have been a one stride, but she kept blasting over it as a bounce. Spicy!!!

(My voice is weird here. I blame the virus, ack.)






I was impressed with her, to say the least. Other than a couple of clearing coughs, she didn't have any trouble at all. The clearing coughs are fine and don't concern me, as she has always done those. The reason I had to get her on (and keep her one) the prednisolone was because the coughing wasn't clearing things up and she would continue to rattle and wheeze. But no breathing issues at all today outside of those isolated coughs, woohoooo!!

After her big blasts around the arena, we walked things out a bit, also at liberty, and then she sort of followed me around "helping" me as I put the jumps away again. Towards the end, I heard "Door!" and the barn owner came in and said hi and we had a good catch-up. 

I gave her a good grooming, and she got to snack in her stall while the owner brought all the other horses in a bit early due to the crummy weather. I even made it home before dark!

And now, here's hoping I can get back into my routine of getting out there 3 to 4 times a week. Wheww!!!

Oh, and one neat thing: this barn does regular baseline health checks on all the horses. So they did that today. Checked weight (with tape), resting heart and respiratory rates, and temperature. Everything was normal with Elle, yay, and her weight came in at 1217 lbs. I always sort of figured she was around 1200, so it's nice to have that confirmed! Love that this barn does things like that. The owner definitely takes pride in their work!


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## SteadyOn

Back in the saddle!!! Ahhhh, I feel mostly better (though my stamina isn't all the way back yet, and my throat is still a bit sore), and I was able to ride yesterday afternoon and this morning. Both rides felt really good, too. I seem to have my seat and my confidence back, at least so far!

Yesterday's ride was my first time on her in over a week and a half, and also my first time riding at the same time as someone else, at this barn. The other woman riding has a small QH gelding that she shows in western classes. Their lope made Elle's often-lazy canter feel blisteringly fast!! The horse was definitely athletic in his own discipline though, doing some pole work and changes.

Elle felt really good, and so did I. She had more coughs than usual, but that's often a side effect of her not being worked enough and the lung goo having too much of a chance to settle. Whooooops. It didn't bother her too much though, and we got a fair bit done. Just standard WTC stuff, with a flying change or two. She was cutting her corners a bit, so we did lots of loop-backs out of the corners to encourage her to bend and go deeper.

I also learned yesterday that Elle's issue with static during her blanket changes has really gone off the rails, and she's developed a paranoia about it. Sigh. So we definitely can't continue layering with fleece blankets under her rain sheet. I ordered her a mid-weight turnout to fill in that gap, along with two more halters, becaaaaause...

Yeah, she broke another one. 🙄 The other woman riding was getting ready in a spot that was blocking the wash stall, so I tried, TRIED, to have Elle in the cross ties in the aisle. I kept the chin unbuckled on the halter, and kept a lead rope attached to it, so that I would have two failsafes if she pulled back. Well, she pulled back, and managed to bust the halter ANYHOW. By the time she did that, though, the other woman had already gone into the arena ahead of me, so I just grabbed my spare halter and did her up in the wash stall anyhow. Note to self: no, she does NOT cross tie. Still. 🤷‍♀️ Guess they all have their things, and some really aren't curable.

Today I had a morning ride, and got there just as they were about to turn her out. She had apparently been neighing nonstop in her stall. I said, "Huh, maybe she's in heat." And then she neighed nonstop while I tacked her up. And then she neighed in the arena while I tightened her girth and got her ready. Since she seemed so "extra," I lunged her a bit first. Still constant neighing, but she didn't put a foot wrong. So then I rode her. And she was PERFECT. Beautiful movement. Light off my leg. Snappy transitions. Lovely shoulder-in in trot and canter, a couple of flying changes, some haunches-in... Lengthening and extending the trot... LOVELY. And she would NOT SHUT UP. The entire time. Screaming love songs to her boyfriend outside. I've never had her be so vocal during a ride... and you'd think she would have been far too distracted to listen to me, but other than having a little "moment" during our cool-out walk where she stuck her nose in the air and took some creative steps, she didn't do a THING out of place. Talent!!!

After the ride, (and also once before) I gave her crap for starting to kick and jerk her hind leg when I was trying to pick her foot... and it turned out it was a "get out of the way NOW, lady" warning because she was about to take a dump on my head. Uh, thanks, I guess??

When I finally did turn her out with her boyfriend, she declined a carrot in favour of running straight over to him and peeeeeeeeeeeing. Gee, yeah just POSSIBLY in heat!!!


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## SteadyOn

I've managed to get out there twice more since the last post. I got a short ride in on her Wednesday evening. She was much less vocal and was a good girl. I was just tired and decided short-and-sweet would do for both of us. Everything felt pretty darn good, and we even did some sitting trot (which I desperately need to remember to do a bit of, every ride, to keep it up). Our left lead canter was a little sloppy, which likely had more to do with me than her, though I think it was a combination of both of us. Given how little I've been able to ride her in the last couple of months, it's not like its shocking that something is not quite where it ought to be. She feels great though, and it doing much less of the hind-end tripping that's become a bit of a thing for her. It's not a lameness, more of a ho-humness on her part about picking up her back feet. Why lift when she can shuffle?? It's gone from happening several times a ride, at the old place, to maaaaaybe once a ride if that, now.

Last night it was cold and I was, again, pretty tired. Okay, it wasn't THAT cold, but I'm not really acclimatized to it yet! Plus, having already ridden her three times since Sunday, I thought some free lungeing and playing sounded nice. We didn't do any jumps this time. Instead I lunged her loose for a while, and then we did a little Alec Ramsay on the Beach work, walking and jogging around together, with her just following me loose. Friggin' DELIGHTFUL. I can't say enough about how fun it has to just have her jogging with me because she wants to! Maybe this will be a good way to help keep ME in shape this winter, too! It was pretty funny: she seemed to want me on the rail and her on the inside, which was fine. She was so considerate about staying beside me, that she even slowed to a walk on the corners while I jogged around on the outside. Cute cute cute!! All this from the mare who seemed to have no personality for so long. When you don't treat them like a machine, like one of her previous owners did, whaddayaknow, they can start to LIKE you!!

After a bunch of that, I led her into the middle of the ring, gave her some cookies and scratches, and she walked away and waited by the door back to the barn to say "Okay I'm ready for hay again now." Which again, she could have done at any time, so it was so nice to know she was jogging with me because she was having a good time!

After that, I gave her a good grooming because she was FILTHY. Well, filthy for her, at least. Anything that wasn't covered by her blanket was grey with dried mud -- an accomplishment given their paddock isn't muddy and most areas are frozen right now. I cross-tied her in the wash stall (which she's much more relaxed about now that she has a midweight turnout and isn't being shocked by blanket changes all the time). She doesn't cross-tie in open spaces, but she's okay with a wall behind her. Gave her a good grooming. Show-sheened her mane and tail, and used some Cowboy Magic on the really stubborn tangles (aka her whole tail). Sprayed the caked-on clay mud on her feet with lots of water to let it soak and loosen up. Brushed out and trimmed her mane. Conditioned her sad little forelock (which seems like it might actually have grown slightly??). Cleaned the, uh, mare crud off her back legs. Now, I SHOULD have just gone all out and bathed her tail. I didn't realize how crusty and tangled it was before I went in with my fingers and comb and detangler. Wound up with lots of pieces of breakage all over the floor -- but only from the ends, at least. I always hold the tail hair in a little clamped loop in my hand so no tugging happens any higher up. Once I got it reasonably detangled, I banged it to freshen it up. I also freshened up her little Mohawk of a bridle path. She was very chill throughout the whole extended grooming, and did a little licking and chewing and seemed to be relaxed enough that she was letting the cross ties hold her head up for her! Glad she's settling down/in finally!!










And I'm continuing to absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this facility!!!


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## SteadyOn

No visits since my last update, but wanted to gush a bit more about the new boarding place now that it's feeling less like a weird dream and more like a reality!

The barn:
-Small but open concept, with bars on all sides of the stalls so everyone can see everyone. Has extremely high ceilings, with fans, and excellent ventilation
-Heated to a constant temp of 5C which means no need for stable blankets
-Comfort matting in the stalls, so no more bedsores for Elle!
-Huge aisles with rubber matting
-Automatic waterers
-Wash stall with hot and cold water
-Saddle racks in several places to make tacking up easy
-Heated and secure feed room
-Clean clean clean clean clean!!! And absolutely clutter-free

The tack room:
-Brand new enormous tack lockers with racks for two saddles, built in wall shelving, three bridle hooks, and enough space to house a small child
-Tons of dedicated space (outside the lockers) to hang extra blankets
-Heated washroom with a big sink
-Washer and dryer for our use
-Again, very tidy and clutter-free

The indoor arena:
-Sand-over-clay footing, very level, perfect depth
-Real roof! Not a creaky spooky coverall
-Not used for any type of storage -- is JUST an arena
-Always kept clean: poles and jumps are put away in dedicated storage after every ride
-Groomed almost daily
-Huge plexi windows down three sides for tons of daylight
-Has screened-in windows that they open in the summer for fresh air without bugs
-Sloped walls, so no banging your ankles
-Awesome huge sliding doors that have to be close to 20' tall and feel like you're opening a castle keep

The paddocks:
-Clean and regularly poo-picked
-On high ground, so minimal mud
-Not huge, but the horses are generally out in pairs and they have enough space to get sillies out and stretch their legs
-Automatic freeze-free watering posts, in their own shelters, with salt licks mounted near them
-Large sturdy shelters made from sea cans
-Netted round bales in sturdy metal huts
-Good fencing
-Low emergency lights on 24/7 on the grounds so you can always see where you're going
-Halter-less turnout, with the halters kept near the gates for convenience

The feed:
-Nice looking hay available pretty much 24/7
-Netted hay outside, and a combination of netted and loose hay fed in stalls to get them through the night but to also have them spend time eating off the ground
-Customized forage-first feed program included in board, with supplements extra but ordered in bulk and billed at cost among boarders
-All supplements and medications, etc., fed/administered with no hassle or extra fees

The care:
-All blanketing, etc., included, and owner will change blankets multiple times a day if necessary if the weather changes
-Big bag of free carrots always available 
-Turnout during all daylight hours -- to the extent that the owner gets up at 5am to put them out in the summer!
-Owners on site, and retired, so someone is almost always there
-Some of the boarders help out too, and seem very personable, thorough, and knowledgeable
-The owner is taking an equine sciences college program to ensure she's doing everything to the best of her abilities
-They regularly check weight, heart rate, respiratory rate, and temperature of all the horses and keep a record

Other:
-There are trails in the area, which I'm excited to start exploring in the spring
-Group hacks happen pretty regularly
-Only 8 horses there, so it's never too busy to do anything I want to do
-There's a nice outdoor arena as well, on high ground, with good footing
-I should be able to continue keeping Elle barefoot there, with their sand footing
-The boarders seem low key, but some of them actually compete in western classes internationally!!
-They're working on putting together a nice lounge area in the barn
-The price is one of the best in the area for full care and indoor board
-The drive is about 35-40 minutes, which given where I live, is pretty good. It's down a major highway, and takes me past two cheap gas stations on a reserve (one of which sells really good pie)
-Can use any farrier, vet, and coach that I want

I feel honestly kind of dazed by the whole situation!!!!!


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## SteadyOn

Despite working far too much this week, and being exhausted as a consequence, I did make it out Sunday, Wednesday, and last night for evening rides.

And whereas I used to hate riding in the evenings in the indoor at the old place we were at for a couple of years, I find I’m really enjoying it at this place. Evenings at the old place were full of the noises of snowmobiles blasting past, big trucks and plows on the highway nearby, the creaking of the coverall roof, snow crashing, wind blowing, cats and dogs potentially appearing and disappearing out of the hay bales, and just assorted spooky noises and distractions. I avoided evenings there as much as possible because neither Elle nor I could ever seem to relax and focus on our rides. She never seemed to relax in there, ever, but daytime was at least substantially better. Now though, we’re in a big space with a solid roof and walls, great lighting, no surprise animals blasting through, and just generally great vibes! Other than perking her ears at things, or looking slightly askance at the odd shadow or reflection, or speeding up slightly once when a car pulled in outside, Elle hasn’t been the slightest bit anxious in there, and is more relaxed with every ride. The evenings are great because everyone else seems done with their rides for the day, and the horses are in and fed, and I can go about my business quietly and take as much time as needed. I'm not rushing back to work, like I used to in the mornings. I can groom, ride, play with Elle at liberty a little, then clean my tack obsessively, and then groom some more while the tack dries.

Overall, Elle seems MUCH more relaxed there lately. I think a bit more time helped, but also, getting the static shock situation from her blankets resolved!! Her anxiety levels have gone down a ton and she seems to be back to being her sweet, happy, laid back self. Also, getting her off of all of the sugary grains she was getting for months at the previous place has been HUGE. As much as I loved tha facility for the few months we were there, Elle NEVER settled down and was anxious and spooky. To the extent that some of the people who helped there were describing her as "spicy."

Behold, my "spicy" mare last night during our cool out. Clearly returning to a forage + vit/min, etc diet has restored my sweet lovely girl to me! Hooray!!!









Cooling out







youtube.com





As for this week's rides... Sunday's was pretty standard. Just still working on getting myself back in shape and getting Elle back into her routine too (though she's always very professional so it doesn't take much). More consistent riding has pretty much eliminated the remnants of her cough, which we're still managing with prednisolone. Winter has far fewer of the allergens that set her off, too, so that helps a lot. Played with some lateral work with her, doing some shoulder-in and haunches-in. Some leg yielding in trot, too.

Wednesday's was much of the same, although we also did a little shoulder-in in canter, which I haven't tried with her in ages. It went rather well! What went less well was trying some canter poles after not trying those for months. We were either breaking to trot, or if she got a bad distance she would LAUNCH herself over it and my soul would temporarily leave my body. 😅 Canter poles are definitely NOT my favourite thing to work on, clearly, but that means we probably need to work on it MORE.

Soooo last night we did exactly that. The good: we didn't break to trot, and some of the distances were fine. The bad: yeah, still a couple of heart-stopping long spots. But I didn't get unseated, which is kind of amazing, even if I did lose my reins, like, every time. Someday hopefully soon I'll be able to anticipate the distance enough to be able to shorten or lengthen her enough to get it right. Buuuut until then, well, I'll just try not to die.

I also did some no-stirrups work with her for the first time in a long time. With all the changes I hadn't been comfortable enough to go there. But now Elle and I are feeling normal again and back in sync, so it was the perfect night for it. I did several laps each way of rising trot, one big circle each way in canter, and then carried on in some sitting trot. After I was sufficiently brutalized, haha, I took my stirrups back. My legs felt much longer and more secure in my stirrups, and there was what I can best describe as kind of an overall... squishiness??... to the feel of my whole body, leg, and seat. But in a mostly good way. Probably just muscle fatigue preventing me from tensing up, but I do think it was beneficial for sure!! And I felt pretty secure, aside from feeling like my pelvis was a little too tipped forward in canter. Hopefully in the near future I'll be in a good place to get the bareback pad out, too, which is an especially nice option once the temperature REALLY drops!!

All in all, starting to feel more comfortable and more motivated. And really in love with Elle again. Not that I ever wasn't, but this calm, happy, secure version of her is definitely her best self!!!


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## SteadyOn

I was so tired last night, and considered skipping my barn visit because of that. However, this week is looking a bit stupid, and I can’t get out again until at least Thursday, so I dragged myself there anyhow.

When I did get there, I considered not riding and just grooming, but I turned the arena lights on and dragged all my tack out anyhow, thinking “Well I’ll just see how I feel.”

And that way, by inches, I managed to get my butt in the saddle and proceed to have one of the best and most satisfying rides I’ve had in MONTHS!!!

I’m not sure I can pinpoint exactly why it was so good. Elle was definitely being her best self for the majority of it though, which was a big part of it. And I was definitely starting to feel like I’m getting my mojo back. She was forward and willing, but still relaxed. Moving great. She did lateral work without hesitating or trying to cheat her way out of it. Her canter had a ton of jump and activity in it. There was no leaning in on turns, or crookedness on the long sides.

I warmed her up slightly differently than usual. I don’t think that’s what did it, but it may have helped. We got into trot pretty early on, and I was playing with slight shoulder-in right off the bat to get her thinking and bending and loosening up. We also did some laps of fairly big canter early on. At least two laps each way of that fairly big arena. (I think they said it’s 80’ x 160’ in there.)

And then we did the most fun part of the ride, which was also a great exercise for me because it got me out of my head about speed and canter. Indecided to play with her adjustability, because while she’s actually quite good at collecting she’s not great at just opening ip her stride. And I tend to get nervous when canter gets bigger and faster. I decided to see how many or few strides I could put between the letters near the corners down the long side. So between K and H, and M and F. A “normal” canter on her got in 12 strides on average. By really working on pushing her out I could get that down to 11, or even 10.5. And when i collected her I got her up to 13 mostly, and even 14 once! So fun and I think she enoyed gerself too. I’m sure we can improve on that with practice, too.

I decided to give us a break from canter poles and no stirrups work though, haha. 😅

She got slightly silly when the barn owner came in to say hi and watch us for a few minutes. Not bad at all, but just not listening as well. Figures, haha. She sometimes gets bothered by her own shadow when she’s cantering across centre line in there, and decided that was the moment to have a minor issue. I shifted to doing some big trot with her over some single poles, then some transitions, and got her refocused.

After I hopped off, we did our new at-liberty cooling out routine.

Also, the barn had a pot luck Christmas party that I had to miss due to work, but I arrived to a collection of lovely gifts from the barn owners and a couple of the boarders, wow!!! Included was a custom ornament with a photo of Elle on it. So lovely and thoughtful! There were also nice treats for Elle, which made her go crazy and actually be cooperative for her carrot stretches. Soooo nice!!!

Continuing to love this place! 🥰

Oh, and check out how even the dirt on my boots was after my ride. Usually Elle needs a lot more left leg but she was very balanced!


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## SteadyOn

Fun ride last night! Once again, I hemmed and hawed about going out, and about whether or not I would ride if I did. But I did both of those things, and I'm happy about it!

I did much the same as the other night, except that I actually did do some canter pole work. Happy to report that we didn't get any long spots to the poles, though she did break to trot maybe two or three times over them. I collected her up and kept the canter pretty tight for the poles, so we were much less likely to get a bad distance.

I also played around, again, with lengthening and shortening her strides down the long sides. She was great to the right, but back to being stiff and on the forehand to the left. Her lovely straightness from the other night wasn't there so much. Maybe she was still feeling that workout a bit too much? I didn't notice her feeling like that over the poles, but I was also concentrating hard and keeping her collected, then. After playing with some transitions in and out of canter on a circle, to get her using her hind end more and maybe loosening her up a bit, it still didn't feel great on that side. So I decided to hop off and untack her and just free lunge her to get a look at her and see if I couldn't get her moving out better without me potentially being in her way.

She did look a little stiff in her hips initially, but she loosened up nicely and was having a good tear around, in both directions. I think sometimes she just needs a chance to really move out!! It's hard to really get her up to a gallop, but I got her REALLY moving and she limbered up a lot. Canter got looking good both ways, and trot opened up and she was floaty and tracking up! It was hard to get her to slow down from canter once she got moving, so she must have started to feel good.

When we were done, she was literally steaming, and had worked up a healthy glow of sweat. She wasn't initially as into following me around for the cooling out -- probably because I'd just been chasing her around, ha -- but got with the program again eventually.

One nice thing about a barn heated to about 5C: she was only a little damp and I knew she wouldn't get chilled if I just brushed her to help with the sweat, so no need for a cooler. Didn't have to worry about her getting a chill OR overheating. This is the first time she's had more than just some sweat in the girth area from one of our workouts, so it's handy not to have to clip her, too. She just doesn't grow a ton of hair -- though she is pretty fluffy right now, finally, by her standards.

She'll probably have a break now until well after Christmas, so hopefully she'll be back to feeling even and lovely again. I think sometimes the winter temps make her a little extra creaky and tight in places. But she's still an absolute wonder for nearly 26!


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