# Does your horse actually "love" you when...



## AllThePrettyHorses (Dec 15, 2010)

...it whinnies whenever it sees you, or comes running to meet you in the field/gate? Of course horses can't LOVE love, but you know-in the mild affection use of the word. I hear so many times, "My horse calls and comes running every time he hears my truck. We have such a good bond!", and I have always just thought: "My horse doesn't do that."

My horse doesn't do that, but she is quiet, calm, submissive and respectful around me-moreso even than she seems with the other horses in the herd. She's never called to me, and she rarely if ever comes to greet me at the gate. She never evades me in the field and always will look up and appear interested as I approach, but she never has stepped towards me.

Personally, I am ok with this. I like that she's not an in-your-face, give-me-cuddles type of animal. She is just the right amount of affectionate for me-she is always receptive to a stroke or a pat, but she never is the instigator (besides looking over and smelling my hand or something). I like to think her seeming lack of affection is respect and good training-she doesn't scream or whinny at me because that's annoying, she doesn't come to meet me and never steps towards me because she's respectful of me and my space. My dad's horses hurry to meet him in the barn every time they hear his truck because they know he has food. My horse doesn't do it, and she is 10x quieter and more respectful than any of them are. I'm happy with my horse, I like her just the way she is; I just always wondered: what does it mean when a horse does it?

Also: when a horse follows you, do they do it because they actually respect and see you as their leader, or do they do it because they know you will make them if they don't? I mean, I always throw the lead rope over my horse's neck and she'll follow me around, turn, stop, etc without my touching the rope. But she doesn't do it in the field, on her own time and of her own free will.


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## A knack for horses (Jun 17, 2010)

I believe just as humans have different ways of showing affection for one another, horses have different ways of showing their "love".

I'd say your horse is more of a loner. I mean it as she isn't as dependent on her herdmates (And humans are just odd looking herdmates to them :lol The other horses are eager to greet their herdmate simply because thats their personality type. 

As for the following you around in the pasture, I think part of that is respect on your horse's part and the other is solid training. 

In my opinion, horses can love. No, its not the human definiton of love, but its a term for the bond they form with their owners and herdmates. They "miss" us just like they miss their herdmates when they leave on a trailride and they're stuck at home. How they react to the separation and re-joining is solely the personality of the individual horse. But they do extend affection to other horses and humans.

That probably didn't make any sense, but I took a stab at it :lol:


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## PaintHorseMares (Apr 19, 2008)

We'll probably never know for sure what our horses are telling us, but in my experience those whinnies (I imagine they are really nickers) are usually associated with being fed, which is certainly high on the horse list of good things.
Some horses are just bigger talkers than others just like some like 'affection' (e.g. brushing, touching) more than others. Our lead mare has a very loud nicker, but our youngest mare is not a big talker at all as she rarely nickers or whinnies. She does, however, love to be brushed, and if she sees you with a brush, she'll follow you around waiting for you to brush her.
In any case, I've never seen any correlation between nickering/whinnying and respect. All our mares, talkers or not, come running to the gate and can be patiently hand fed in a group with no crowding or fussing.
As for following you around, as nice as it may be to think it's associated with respect/leadership, I think it's more likely associated with you having something they want/enjoy, food/attention/etc.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

Horses whinny to people because they anticipate being fed, most of the time, well ok all of time (just from what I have seen). Horses love people in their own way. My horse loves me in his own equine way, whinnies to me to feed him and lets me ride around on his back. We have been together for 12 yrs, better than most marriages huh?


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## ridergirl23 (Sep 17, 2009)

Thats like my mare! heck, if i leave fr 2 weeks or more she runs away from me just to show shes 'mad' haha shes such a spoiled brat.

But i totally agree 100% with what A knack For Horses said! Rena never comesto me, she looks at me, and waits for me to come to her, lol. She has nickered before, only at showes when shes upset though. so I think it totally depends on te horse!


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## Brighteyes (Mar 8, 2009)

I would agree with what the others said in regards to horses having different personalities.


My friend met her horse the same time I met mine. Her horse was a quiet old man who rarely expressed much of a desire to be about humans and never made a sound. He was minimally active in the pasture and was very quiet about everything. 

My horse is a hyper young mare who talks all the time, runs when the others walk, and is very reliant on her herdmates. She talks to them constantly and always greets when they are turned out them by running up to them like a happy dog. 

My horse became the kind who runs up to her human from the pasture when called with a kissing sound and had that bright eyed, squirrely nature. My friend's horse, who loved her just as much as my horse loved me, never did that. He acted like your horse does. The respect was there, but not the affection.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

My horse has never called to me. 

He will trot/canter/gallop over if the neighbor horses are not out (he is alone in a field, but shares a fence line with another barn). If those horses are out he will walk to me reluctantly or not at all, sometimes he does a mix of part walking, part stopping and I have to walk the rest. 


Frankly as long as my horse responds and respects me I don't care - until I have to trek through a muddy field, then I throw him a few words under my breathe.


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## JustAwesome (Jun 22, 2011)

If you say a horse cannot 'love' someone, then what do you call it? Especially with my colt!

He doesn't neigh at me when he first sees me, He neighs at random times, never for food, it's never about food, he continuously watches me, my every move!.. It's hard to explain!


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## Delfina (Feb 12, 2010)

Horses don't have the same emotions as humans. Do I honestly think my horse *loves* me? Nope! Sure he runs to me whenever he sees me, follows me everywhere, throws a giant tantrum if *I* leave him with someone else but it's not love. 

I trashed my knee with his assistance :? and am on crutches right now, so when I when I showed up at feeding time, the BO and my kiddo took him to his stall. Do you think he protested leaving me, having watched food going into stalls? oh heck no! If his choices are *Mom* and *food*, food is going to win, hands down, every single time. If I go visit him while he's eating, he'll leave his grain and come say hi before going back but that's because he knows his grain will still be there. If his grain disappeared if he left it, he'd never lift his head out of the pan. 

If I sold him, he wouldn't pout, decline and die of a broken heart. He'd probably be a bit standoffish for a couple weeks to his new owner (like he was to me when I bought him) but as soon as he trusted the new owner, he'd *love* them just as much. 

I've got a bottle-fed goat that acts like it's dying when I leave it. You can hear it screaming all the way from the house (and it's a far trek). It doesn't love me, it knows that when I show up it gets FOOD, company and perhaps to run all over my property after me. He'd be just as excited if the Boogieman showed up with a bottle. :roll:


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## AbbeyCPA (Jun 29, 2011)

I personally think the only reason my horses will greet me at the gate or nicker to me is because people = food and scratches, haha. I've had my ottb gelding for 7 years and he will come when I call him, let out a little nicker, and when he gets to me the first thing he does is sniff my pockets and hands. I've personally never gotten that "love" vibe from any of my horses. Sure, I notice they prefer me over strangers who will visit because they know my face & voice, but not because they necessarily love me. 

I believe a horse and horse relationship is much different than that between a human and horse. I've gone 3 months without seeing my gelding (had mono for a while) and he really seemed to care less, LOL. But him and my mare had only known each other for a few days, I took her to a show, returned, and he was nickering, whinnying, running the fence line totally thrilled to see her again. He was turned out with my two other mares, so it's not like he was lonely. 

But of course every horse and owner relationship is different. I'm sure having a horse since birth would dramatically effect how they felt towards a person, I'd just never take it personally if my horses didn't show affection or "love" me like another would to their owner.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

My horses RUN TO the gate when they see me coming. With feed buckets... 

My qh RUNS FROM the gate all way down the field when she sees me coming... With halter and lead rope and definite perspective for hard work in next hour or so... :lol:


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## MacabreMikolaj (May 9, 2009)

I wouldn't call it love, I would call it "attachment". Horses form the same relationships with their own kind. For example, Jynx is bottom of the totem pole and Justus is the top of the totem pole, and yet they're extremely attached to each other. I see this constantly in a herd dynamic. Justus is still the boss, but Jynx is allowed to eat from her pile of food whereas any other horse is driven aggressively off if they pass within 10 feet of her food.

We know horses can "grieve" when a close pasture mate dies. They feel the loss. For horses, however, I find it all boils down to routine. They learn to enjoy being with you when they see you constantly. They form that attachment, and that preference for you. However, when sold, it is very unlikely the horse will recognize you a year later, regardless of how close your attachment is. Change affects them greatly, such as the loss of a pasture mate. For some horses, they will freak out even in a pasture of other horses if their close friend is taken away. 

This is beyond herdboundness, this is definitely a close attachment formed with that specific horse. And that horse doesn't give them food like humans do, so no, I don't believe all equine to human attachment is solely for food. If they can form those friendships and attachments just as easily with another animal that doesn't provide any of the things we do, it's entirely possible they simply enjoy our company.


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## FoxyRoxy1507 (Jul 15, 2008)

both of my horses knicker/winny at me almost everytime i go outside and usually run up to the gate to see me. my big horse will pull me to his chest and hug me and wont let go till i hug him back. they both like it when i go snuggle w them when they are laying down taking a nap, if i dont they raise up and stare at me and knicker till i come over and either pet them or lay on their side. i know my horses love me bc they show it in every possible way they can


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## dreamsintotreasure (Jun 22, 2011)

I have wondered this as well. My horse is not one to run up to me or whinny at me or anything like that. I agree with the attachment comment. If they are used to seeing you everyday then they come to know and trust you, but if you are taken away from them for a long period of time then they will grow that attachment with another human or pasture mate. I hate to say it, but we do not live in a Disney movie and all of our horses are not Black Beauty. Just saying...


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## AbbeyCPA (Jun 29, 2011)

dreamsintotreasure said:


> I have wondered this as well. My horse is not one to run up to me or whinny at me or anything like that. I agree with the attachment comment. If they are used to seeing you everyday then they come to know and trust you, but if you are taken away from them for a long period of time then they will grow that attachment with another human or pasture mate. I hate to say it, but we do not live in a Disney movie and all of our horses are not Black Beauty. Just saying...


I completely agree with this. I have an appendix mare I rescued last spring and got in contact with her ollllld owner, the girl who had her since she was weaned up until she was 5 or so. It was just her and her horse until she sold her because of school. The poor mare went through sale after sale until she ended up with me. I was excited to have her old owner come up and see her when she was in good health again, but the mare really didn't seem to care at all. The girl was pretty upset that her childhood horse didn't even bat an eyelash at her, and she seems closer to me after only knowing me for a few months. 

BUT, my ottb gelding does favour men and children over me. He was raised and raced by a man with grandchildren which I found pretty interesting. I have family friends come up to see our horses and I find he's really drawn to older men and children. He isn't one to have his face pet, doesn't like being pet in general really, just a good scratch if he's itchy but that's about it. With men and children he'll contently put his head down and soak up all the attention in the world. 

I don't think we'll ever understand what goes through these animals heads :lol:


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## FoxyRoxy1507 (Jul 15, 2008)

my boy Petey was gone from me for about 3yrs while he was w my trainers daughter in Ky and they said he never acted the same w anyone as he does me so i know he loves me  bc once he got off the trailer at my house he knickered at me and dragged the shipper over to me so he could hug me  i was so happy and suprised i couldnt believe he remebered me like that. guess it just depends on the horse like it does people


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## A knack for horses (Jun 17, 2010)

dreamsintotreasure said:


> I hate to say it, but we do not live in a Disney movie and all of our horses are not Black Beauty. Just saying...


Black Beauty or not, horses are emotional creatures, and I stand by my theory that horses can "love". 

I don't mean they have the mental capacity to love as humans do; and their emotional complexity is nowhere near a humans. But horses are emotional creatures. They can show agression. They can show fear, pain, sadness, and happiness. If they can show a wide range of emotions, why can't they show affection? What's so different about a horse having a fondness for another creature? Or any animal for that matter?

I thinks it silly of us to think horses can't love. I understand a horse isn't going to remember that I'm on his/her back when the big scary plastic bag monster tries to eat them, and will kindly leave me to fend for myself against it while he/she escapes to the safety of the trailer. And they aren't going to think "Gee, I love my owner" when I have a grain scoop in my hand. But they bond to people and other horses. They go to others for comfort and safety, and they enjoy the company of those who give it to them. And is that not what we look for in a loving relationship; comfort and safety in enjoyable company?


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## A knack for horses (Jun 17, 2010)

FoxyRoxy1507 said:


> my boy Petey was gone from me for about 3yrs while he was w my trainers daughter in Ky and they said he never acted the same w anyone as he does me so i know he loves me  bc once he got off the trailer at my house he knickered at me and dragged the shipper over to me so he could hug me  i was so happy and suprised i couldnt believe he remebered me like that. guess it just depends on the horse like it does people


And I agree, horses have excellent memories, and don't easily forget a person or horse.


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## AbbeyCPA (Jun 29, 2011)

A knack for horses said:


> *And they aren't going to think "Gee, I love my owner" when I have a grain scoop in my hand.*


LOL! This made me laugh, I just pictured the dumbfounded voice a horse would say this in if it were to happen. :lol:


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## A knack for horses (Jun 17, 2010)

AbbeyCPA said:


> LOL! This made me laugh, I just pictured the dumbfounded voice a horse would say this in if it were to happen. :lol:


It'd be pretty interesting if horses could talk :lol: The things that would come out of their mouths...


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## dreamsintotreasure (Jun 22, 2011)

A knack for horses said:


> I thinks it silly of us to think horses can't love. But they bond to people and other horses. They go to others for comfort and safety, and they enjoy the company of those who give it to them. And is that not what we look for in a loving relationship; comfort and safety in enjoyable company?


I completely agree with this. My thought on the whole thing is that horses do build attachment to other horses and humans that are around them. I just think that if we go away then they will form that attachment with someone else over time. Maybe it is just that I haven't had a horse that is THAT attached to me that he/she feels the need to hug me or feel the need to always be near me. I do believe my horse is attached to me and trusts me because he is not the same for other people as he is for me, but at the same time I think that other people could build up that trust with him if they spent the time and energy to do so. I personally think that humans have the need to call this attachment "love" when in fact it is more of a trust. Yes horses get scared, annoyed, upset, etc. but all of that is really humans giving horses human emotions. In all honesty, we don't know what is going through their heads, and when we think they are upset it really could be something completely different. 

I will be honest and say that I am not the most affectionate person in the world myself, so I am well aware that this could be the reason I don't end up with the most affectionate horses. I personally would rather have a horse that did his/her job and respects me rather than "love" me. Because when the big, scary, plastic bag monster comes to eat my horse, I would like to think the respect would work in my favor more than the love would. Horses are big, strong, and most of the time dumb animals and if they don't see me as herd leader then it could end up bad for both of us.


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## BFFofHorses (Jan 29, 2010)

I think horses can have bonds, to them it might be love but it is not how we would classify love, I would compare it to a close (or not-so-close  frindship). Horses crave companionship- horses that are kept by themselves are happy to see their owners because its instinct, it keeps them alive. Some horses prefer human company to horses. Some need both. My horse enjoys having horses around, but she prefers people. She isn't an in your face horse but she stands by me, our bond of one of friendship. My other horse, who is actually my brothers, is an in your lap horse. I hate it. No mater how much grounwork you do, how much you demand respect, he wants to be in your face. It's his personality, not because he "loves everyone". He simply enjoys human companionship.


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## Annnie31 (May 26, 2011)

I believe horses who are happy have two things with their care givers, respect and trust. In the scheme of things the respect they have for their owners, or handlers goes a long way, and can be misinturpreted as love. If a horse also has a trust bond with its rider nothing is impossible to accomplish. You could say that if a horse respects you and trusts you it is like a bond of love. Horses who dont whinny when you come to the field etc are the best of the best because they are very content with their environment so it should not be misinterpreted as a negative response. )


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## corymbia (Jul 6, 2011)

Like others I have pondered this alot, and have concluded that whatever it is my horses are doing when they whinny and canter up to me with ears pricked that its not love. We have 20 horses in for training/selling at any one time, and some will whinny, canter up and smooch around from the first day- do they love me? Don't think so, they don't know me, they have just generalised from their previous owner to me and associate me as a human with a good consequence- food mainly! Others only become "friendly" once I have fed them a few times-and many of those will walk away as soon as the food is finished. Are they less loving? 

From an evolutionary perspective its hard to see what fitness value forming a close and potentially sacrificial attachment to another species- and a predator one at that could confer on a horse. 

We had the farrier out today and our two mini geldings were hanging around- lots of kisses, smoochies, wouldn't go away despite frequent energetic requests for them to get out of the way, were happy to chill out despite getting nothing overtly positive for doing so. 

Were they expressing love for us? Would be nice to think so, but in reality, they also have learned to associate us with food and scratches and while ever we are around there is always a chance they might get one or both, so worth being a pest even with the twirling leadropes asking them to leave. Its nice to think that they do seem to "enjoy" hanging out with us but I don't think its love. 

Its also hard to think why horses would love us when we use pressures that they find aversive and unpleasant to train them and bring their behaviour under our control. Hard to see how experiencing that each time they interact with a human would make them love the human who did that to them. I am sure they love the food and scatches I give them- just can't see that they love me, the thing that provides it. :wink:


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