# CJ- Our Bitter Sweet Journey



## CA VA shooter (Feb 4, 2015)

To begin with a little background as to why this journey is bitter sweet...


CJ's mama was my best horse, my go to, my steady eddy, sure footed, never falters, never refuses, heaven sent partner. Couldn't ask for more when it came to this mare. She was silent heat, never saw a cycle, not a mare face, squirt or squeal in 15 years. She had foaled three healthy babies with perfect and easy pregnancies and labors. 


Then CJ was born.


All the mares foals had been a little large, but never anything to be concerned about. CJ was a little big too, but still not a worrisome size. After he stood on his own my mare dealt with her afterbirth, drank water, let CJ nurse while she ate and had no fever, but she wasn't acting right. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it nagged my incessantly. I called the vet out, vet couldn't find anything, flushed the mare out to be on the safe side and left. The mare still wasn't right and I was unable to think about anything else. My husband started thinking I was losing it. My mother was visiting me at the time as I had just had a baby the week prior (the mare and I were on the buddy system with pregnancies). My mom spent some time with my mare and agreed something was just "off". After a night of no sleep, my mare had BM's, drank and ate, but just wasn't herself. About mid morning she suddenly stopped letting CJ nurse and about 10 min later she went down. I had already called the vet to come back out and she was there shortly after my mare hit the dirt. Took three of us to get her on her feet and into my trailer. I had to pick CJ up and put him in the trailer and bless that little boy, with all the commotion he was quiet as can be. My husband rushed my mare to the clinic and I got the horrific call that she had a colon torsion so bad the vet said surgery was a waste of time and money, there was nothing he could do. I told him she was coming home to me and he agreed, so he loaded her back in my trailer and euthanized her inside so she could come home. 


Then CJ was loaded back into the trailer, here we start emergency planning for an orphaned foal who was just over 24 hours old.


I get the second call from the vet, he has a family in my area who just had him euthanize their foal and the family is willing to let me use their horse as a nurse mare. Stars aligned for me in one of the worst moments of my life. My husband followed to vet to the families home and with the vets help introduced the mare to my foal. Vet said it was the fastest introduction and bonding he had ever seen. My husband captured it on video. One sniff and that mare couldn't get CJ to nurse quick enough. CJ didn't even take time to sniff her, he was so hungry he went straight under her and went to eating. He stayed for the next three and a half months until he weaned himself. 


My mare is still in the back of the trailer. 


I have a tractor, but it isn't big and will take me till way past dark to dig a hole and will be a bit of work to get my girl in it. Dainty was never a term use to describe her. As my husband was preparing to leave CJ and come home to his emotional crying mess of a wife, the nurse mares owner sends my husband up to their neighbors house. Turns out the gentlemen runs a little side business with his tractor, he buries large animals for people. He agreed to follow my husband home and bury my mare. The stars aligned again. I stood with my new born in my arms, my son at my side and watched my beloved four legged partner be placed in the earth in her pasture. I held it together until I saw the man stop the tractor and stand next to the hole in what felt like forever. I heard him speaking, when the wind would stop I could hear him praying for my mare. I lost it at this point and cried, the man cried with me. 


There is nothing like the empathy horsemen have for one another when the worst happens. I lost my best horse, my friend, but she still brought new and great things into my life. She gave me a foal who could be her twin, a great new family who we helped each other heal through loss, and a wonderful selfless man who picked up the physical demands of burial when I could not and showed me to still have faith.


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## seabiscuit91 (Mar 30, 2017)

Subbing. 
I'm so sorry for loss. 
I have a good feeling about you and CJ though. 
Can't wait to hear about your journey together.


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## CA VA shooter (Feb 4, 2015)

CJ's mama before she left the west coast.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

What a beautiful mare, I'm so sorry for your loss, it's just heartbreaking to have to put down a friend that has given so much.

Would love to see photos of CJ.


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## CA VA shooter (Feb 4, 2015)

CJ from birth to 4 months


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## CA VA shooter (Feb 4, 2015)

CJ 10 and 12 months (he got the big snip)


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

This journal has been closed due to prolonged lack of participation by the author. Journals that have no active participation by the author for a period of time greater than 18 months will be considered abandoned and will be closed until the author asks for them to be reopened.


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