# Fear after fall... help!



## woof99 (Nov 23, 2009)

Hello everyone!
I am new here, started to take english riding lessons 3 months ago. During my 6th lesson, 2 months ago now, I fell while posting without stirrups. Since then I have continued to ride, jump,... but everytime my instructor asks me to trot without stirrups, I freeze, feel completely out of control and hate this feeling. I am so afraid of falling again.  I landed on my hip and am still feeling some pain 2 months after the fall. I actually have an appointment with a physiotherapist to find out what to do to get the pain to stop. It does not hurt to ride, thank goodness. I am 38 yrs old.
I just wonder... is it absolutely necessary to ride without stirrups?  I do plan on advancing to Dressage lessons eventually and I know I will need to get over my fear... I just feel too unstable still! 
Today after my lesson, my instructor besically told me that I need to start doing it again and that I need to get over my fear of falling, since I will fall one day again. I know she is right, I wonder if there is a way to practice falling? :shock:
Any advice would be awesome!
Thanks!


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## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

Woof99 I feel your pain! I feel a few months ago (as you can see by my other posts) and my mare stepped on me and crushed my ankle. I've just started ridding again and I know exactly how you feel. 
I've done alot of research and soul searching and this is how I feel:
I WILL NOT be pushed into doing something that brings on that feeling of terror. That doesn't do anything for me or my horse. I work up to that point, which gets further every time, and then stop. I know that it will be along time before I get back to ridding with confidence and enjoying it even half as much as I use to, but I will get there. 
I have also decided that after a fall you have to have a trainer that is knowledgable in dealing with fear and falling. I was surprised when I went looking for someone to give me lessons and couldn't find anyone that had even delt with it before. 
Give yourself time. Take baby steps. If your scared and tense all the time your just going to end up getting hurt again. 
Good luck.


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

Definitely have her show you how to fall correctly. At 38, we've long stopped bouncing when we hit the ground. I had a massive leg injury at age 38 due to having to absorb the impact in one small area. The key to falling is to disperse the impact. When you know you're coming off, tuck and roll, away from the horse of course. You never want to hit the ground in a thud. I've fallen from my 16.2 TB several times over the past 2 years, and only once had a minor bruise since I roll. I find it very empowering to know I can fall off something that tall and not get hurt. It goes a long way toward building confidence. 

To answer your other question, if you want to develop a good solid seat, you can't beat no stirrup work. There's little strap you can put on the front of your saddle that's referred to by most people as a bucking strap. It's great for something to hold onto instead of grabbing your horse in the mouth if you start to lose your balance. Another thing you might try is to just drop one stirrup. It's actually a little harder than no stirrups at all, and accomplishes the same thing without as much risk. 

Two other things I can suggest are a nice sticky synthetic saddle instead of leather until your confidence returns or nice sticky suade or leather chaps. 

good luck!


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## amende (Nov 20, 2009)

Hi!

The psychological side of riding can be hard to work through. I know how you feel. I had a bad fall the last time I rode and even though I got back on and had a few lessons - now being ten years later, gosh I still think about it. I guess because Iam not as young and limber any more (27) and not under my parents insurance. if something happens to me- Im paying for all the x-rays and orthopedist appointments...ect

I would practice envisioning riding without your stirrups and having success. Positive thinking (as silly as it sound sometimes) goes a long way!


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## gypsygirl (Oct 15, 2009)

i would suggest to just walk for awhile with no stirrups to you are very comfortable with that.

also, being lunged is an amazing thing ! have your trainer lunge you & your horse. this way you can focus all on yourself & not on controlling your horse


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## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

MyBoyPuck said:


> Definitely have her show you how to fall correctly. At 38, we've long stopped bouncing when we hit the ground. I had a massive leg injury at age 38 due to having to absorb the impact in one small area. The key to falling is to disperse the impact. When you know you're coming off, tuck and roll, away from the horse of course. You never want to hit the ground in a thud. I've fallen from my 16.2 TB several times over the past 2 years, and only once had a minor bruise since I roll. I find it very empowering to know I can fall off something that tall and not get hurt. It goes a long way toward building confidence.
> 
> To answer your other question, if you want to develop a good solid seat, you can't beat no stirrup work. There's little strap you can put on the front of your saddle that's referred to by most people as a bucking strap. It's great for something to hold onto instead of grabbing your horse in the mouth if you start to lose your balance. Another thing you might try is to just drop one stirrup. It's actually a little harder than no stirrups at all, and accomplishes the same thing without as much risk.
> 
> ...


 Can you come to my house and teach me?


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## dacer44 (Sep 20, 2009)

I would definitely put some more thought into riding without insurance. This past Sunday I fell and lacerated both my liver and my kidney and had to be transported from the original hospital I went to by ambulance to a better one. And I was hospitalized until Wednesday. All without insurance. 
(haven't got my full bill yet but I do know i'm paying almost $900 for just the ambulance ride)

Anyways, I don't (obviously) know the proper way to fall nor do I know anything about riding again after the fall (I have been on bedrest since) but I do know that riding at all without insurance simply isn't smart and will definitely be expensive.


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## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

I agree dacer44. My ankle injury has cost 60,000 and counting. We're still not done.
But my husband is in the military (Thank God!) and we haven't had to pay much of it


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## qtrhrsecrazy (Aug 2, 2009)

Alot of wonderful advice up there. *I totally agree to do not let anyone push you beyond your comfort zone*. Also the *key to falling is to roll*.

I had my confidence shattered when I was in my late 30's by my 16.2 knothead TB. I realized then I no longer bounced, but thankfully my sub-conscience would kick in and take over where I still rolled when being tossed.

My lack of confidence carried over to my young QH, who was newly under saddle, which wasn't a good thing. In my mind, she could blow up at any time. It took time to get my confidence back, which just blew my mind as I've ridden all my life, hit the ground before many times over many years, and was still next to fearless. We become more cautious as we get older.

My confidence came back, as will yours. I'm 50 now and do excercise caution. I ride my own horse as I've had this one all her life and trust her. I won't climb on froggy horses anymore - I think "what if I come off, land wrong and break a hip?" lol.. I'm old now.

You work at your own pace. Just tell your trainer what the deal is straight up. She will have to deal with it and comply with not pushing you past your comfort zone, period... like it or not.


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## iridehorses (Oct 22, 2007)

qtrhrsecrazy said:


> .
> . * I'm 50 now* and do excercise caution.
> 
> You work at your own pace. Just tell your trainer what the deal is straight up. She will have to deal with it and comply with not pushing you past your comfort zone, period... like it or not.


You are still a child!! 

I agree 100% with the second part of the post and the ones above. Work at your own pace and comfort level but push youself a little. Even though I have ridden my whole life and have owned my own horses for over 25 years, a rather severe accident I had in 2007 while trying a new horse, shook me to my core and it took a LONG time to even begin to overcome the fear. I had to really push myself to even step in the saddle again.

Learning to fall sounds good but unless you really practice it off a horse so that it becomes a learned reaction, I don't believe that it will be going through your mind as you come off your horse (LOL). Things happen in a split second.


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## PaintHorseMares (Apr 19, 2008)

qtrhrsecrazy said:


> Alot of wonderful advice up there. *I totally agree to do not let anyone push you beyond your comfort zone*. Also the *key to falling is to roll*.


I agree, too. If you're beyond your comfort zone, your horse will know, you won't accomplish what you want, and you're more likely to be hurt again. I've been lucky enough to never have been hurt, but ride with many friends that still feel the pains of old injuries. There are always *plenty *of other things to practice and learn along the journey back to confidence and comfort.


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## qtrhrsecrazy (Aug 2, 2009)

iridehorses said:


> You are still a child!!
> 
> I agree 100% with the second part of the post and the ones above. Work at your own pace and comfort level but push youself a little. Even though I have ridden my whole life and have owned my own horses for over 25 years, a rather severe accident I had in 2007 while trying a new horse, shook me to my core and it took a LONG time to even begin to overcome the fear. I had to really push myself to even step in the saddle again.
> 
> Learning to fall sounds good but unless you really practice it off a horse so that it becomes a learned reaction, I don't believe that it will be going through your mind as you come off your horse (LOL). Things happen in a split second.


Thanks! lol... I still do pretty well for an old fart child :lol:

You're right things happen in a split second. I rode alot of knotheads in my younger days and 'learned how to fall'.

Notice in my OP I said my subconscience took over lol.. yep it takes alot of hits to get it right and no you do not think about it on your way down.. good point!


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## amende (Nov 20, 2009)

> We become more cautious as we get older.
> 
> My confidence came back, as will yours. I'm 50 now and do excercise caution. I ride my own horse as I've had this one all her life and trust her. I won't climb on froggy horses anymore - I think "what if I come off, land wrong and break a hip?" lol.. I'm old now.


Gosh, I feel the same way and Iam almost to the thirties. Our friends have a farm and my friend wanted me to hop on one of their horses that was in a obvious bad mood. he was grouchy and didnt even want to be caught- I said no way. I know accidents happen but I feel like getting older, I dont necessarily want to take _extra_ risk. :wink:


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## Juniper (May 4, 2007)

One of my first posts here was about falling off. An old cowboy told me it takes him at least 6 months to get his confidence back after a fall. The person I was taking lessons from brought me 2, not 1, but 2 shots of brandy before a ride at first. I was so darn nervous. I did not want a hobby that made me become an alcoholic, lol, so I made myself stop after awhile. But it did help. Now, I consistently sing a song every time I feel nerves coming on. I downloaded the words of Viva la Vida by Coldplay, (I love that song) so I would have the whole song memorized. I might go through that song three times before I relax. But it does work, it takes your mind off the moment. I really think my horse is beginning to learn that is a cue to relax. When we are on the trail and he spooks at something and I start singing he puts his head down and stops being tense. It used to be he would spook and stay tense for the rest of the ride. The only down side is my singing voice is terrible and I feel for my riding partners.


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## Cheshire (Oct 17, 2009)

Juniper said:


> One of my first posts here was about falling off. An old cowboy told me it takes him at least 6 months to get his confidence back after a fall. The person I was taking lessons from brought me 2, not 1, but 2 shots of brandy before a ride at first. I was so darn nervous. I did not want a hobby that made me become an alcoholic, lol, so I made myself stop after awhile. But it did help. Now, I consistently sing a song every time I feel nerves coming on. I downloaded the words of Viva la Vida by Coldplay, (I love that song) so I would have the whole song memorized. I might go through that song three times before I relax. But it does work, it takes your mind off the moment. I really think my horse is beginning to learn that is a cue to relax. When we are on the trail and he spooks at something and I start singing he puts his head down and stops being tense. It used to be he would spook and stay tense for the rest of the ride. The only down side is my singing voice is terrible and I feel for my riding partners.


This is really excellent advice and I can attest to it myself. A couple years back I was thrown from a friend's uber-spooky gelding on a ride. I was not seriously hurt but it shook my confidence for sure. It took me a while to be truly comfortable again when riding. I would tense up when I felt my horse's energy level rise and of course things would just spiral from there.  I discovered that if I sang, even if just nonsense words or notes, I could calm myself down much quicker...and it seemed to work for the horse as well. 

My new mare, Lilly, is a bit exciteable at present...which is normal considering she is in a new place. As I was handwalking her on a trail this last weekend she started getting jumpy...until now I was being quiet, introspective, just enjoying being outside with her on this beautiful morning. Then I remembered...and I started singing softly, probably horribly too, but oh well. She calmed right down and we didn't have any other issues for the remainder of the walk. I was likely being TOO quiet for her, lol. But the singing/talking does work and helps so much to deal with nerves.


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

Guess I'm in the minority. I don't feel like falling happens quickly. Things go into slow motion for me when I know I'm coming off. I can pretty much pick which body part is going to hit the ground first and just concentrate on keeping things moving in the form of rolling once I hit the ground. If I'm up by his neck, I'll try to hang onto it long enough to either slow my fall or even try to slide off and land standing up. If you have a patient horse, you can try the neck dismount from the walk. Simply sit forward and get yourself off balance. Best way is to have him turn one direction and slide off the other. As you slide off, grab mane and either attempt to upright yourself to land on your feet or slide off and roll away from the horse. It will feel silly at the walk, but if you get the mechanics down at a slower speed, you'll be surprised how well they carry over to the higher speeds.


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## Loosewolf (Oct 31, 2008)

I have had this situation happen to me twice during this year alone(there are many posts by me telling this same story) and to tell you the truth, it's a long road for me as well. I will get it done, as I am just not very good at walking away easily..
For you though, the same may apply. If the lack of stirrups is the main focus of your attention, tell your instructor that for the time being, and for the reasons you have, stirrups will have to do for a while. I would imagine that in a little bit of time, you'll feel better to the point where the stirrups may slowly drop off your feet, then you will know YOU are ready!
As said before, being consumed with fear up is the saddle does you no good, and certainly not good for your horse too...I believe the stirrup thing may be holding you back somewhat..
Good Luck! -Lw


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## woof99 (Nov 23, 2009)

You guys are awesome, thank you all so much! 
Yeah I think I`ll have to talk to her because I am dreading my lessons more and more... With the stirrups I am fine, not to mention I am still working out like crazy with the stirrups, you should see me when I get off, I am soaked...:shock: gross but good, means I am getting a good workout!

I am lucky, I live in Canada, no need to worry about paying for healthcare, it`s all free (such a relief) and I do have dissability insurance through work (hope I never need it!).

I like the advice about learning how to fall. I also feel like it`s slow motion when I fall off, all I remember was bringing in my arms, and trying to turn to land on my back, I landed on my hip, just as well really...landing on my back was probably not a good idea! I did not roll at all, just a thud. I am now riding in an arena, so maybe the ground won`t hurt as much if I fall...probably wishful thinking! :lol:
Maybe I will try at a walk, the horse I am riding is not even that tall, 15.4 or something like that but I have gained a bunch of weight in past years...I landed heavely! LOL! I fell so many times as a kid, never even thought twice about it! 
Some of you have had some really harsh accidents, you make me feel like such a wuss! You brave souls! 

Anyway, thank you all again! I`ll be sure to stick around and check this forum regularly!
Cheers!


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## AlmostThere (Oct 31, 2009)

woof99 said:


> Yeah I think I`ll have to talk to her because I am dreading my lessons more and more...


This would be a problem for me. If you are dreading your lesson, not only are you not getting your monies worth you are adding stress to your life.

You are paying to have the experience of learning on a horse. Maybe sometimes uncomfortable and hard, but I would expect most of the lesson to be rewarding - not something to dread.

If your trainer cannot be convinced to lay off of the no stirrups thing for a while, I wonder if you would be better off seeking out a new instructor.


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## buddy09 (Nov 15, 2009)

well i can feel your fear because im a barrel racer and acouple of weeks ago i was at a show and my horse reared up and she hates pressure on her face and i had a tie down on her and she ended up coming down on me and i shattered 4 ribs because the horn on my saddle came down on me so hard and broke my wrist. I still got back on and ran the winning time but ended up getting sent to the E.R. after the show and was told not to ride but i still do everyday and i still barrel race, but a lady bought my mare that same night! so glad Kay's gone now


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## Juniper (May 4, 2007)

Wow! Broken ribs can be very painful. Hope you have a speedy recovery.


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