# Should we be Able to Ride by Ourselves?



## M2twisted (Sep 9, 2009)

this is a tough one for me.
when i was your age i would have felt just the same. But now i am older, and have a little girl. and i know i would most likely not be ok, with her riding alone and in open space. i think for me, it would be the more open space thing. what if there's a cyote or something. i would be more comfortable if it were in an arena also. 
they say horse back riding is 6 times more dangerous than auto racing, she has a reason to be concerned. maybe you and your mom could get on a schedule, and make certain times, horse back riding times?


----------



## kevinshorses (Aug 15, 2009)

I fail to see what your mother could do but pick up the pieces if something happened but the fact is that she pays the bills and what she says goes.


----------



## BaileeJJMommy (Oct 6, 2009)

I rode by myself when I was your age. Heck, I still ride by myself,because I have no one to ride with. I always have my phone on me though, and always let someone know where I am going to be riding. 

In the end though,you have to listen to your parents. Some are just more strict than others. Maybe you can talk to her to see if she is willing to make a riding schedule that yall can stick too?


----------



## ShutUpJoe (Nov 10, 2009)

I bet your mom would probably get really tired of following you sooner or later and let you guys go a few times by yourself. Don't push it and let her go.


----------



## thunderhooves (Aug 9, 2009)

By yourself is not the best, but with a friend might be better. Plus, if your mom follows you and see how responsible and careful you are, she may eventually let you and your friend ride without her.


----------



## Wallaby (Jul 13, 2008)

I agree with thunderhooves. If you show your mom that you can be responsible and careful she'll most likely let you go on your own once she feels comfortable (which will be sooner the more responsible and careful you are, haha).

Good luck! You are both very lucky to even be able to ride in the open at all. =) I had never gone on a trail ride until 3 years ago (out of the 9-10 years I've been riding).  And that was just because there were no trails around and no trail safe horses.


----------



## SuperStarsSugar (Sep 9, 2009)

kevinshorses said:


> I fail to see what your mother could do but pick up the pieces if something happened but the fact is that she pays the bills and what she says goes.


 This is 100% true. I'd also like to add that she probably feels that her supervision will prevent accidents (unlikely). I know my mom felt like that when I was 13. She probably still does. The trick is to convince her that this is not true, and that having a riding companion, a helmet, and cell phone is the next best thing.


----------



## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

I would be riding with a friend--if my friend Sam boards at my barn I would ride with her. I see what you mean, though


----------



## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

My avatar has a pic of one of the fields I ride in, so yea, it's pretty open


----------



## themacpack (Jul 16, 2009)

I would play by her rules (you really have no other choice, after all) and use this as an opportunity to demonstrate how responsible you are while riding. If you demonstrate a good amount of sense and responsibility, she may very well be willing to renegotiate the rules.


----------



## AlmostThere (Oct 31, 2009)

If your Mom has agreed to let your friend board at your place, she may feel extra responsibility to the safety of your friend. 

I know when my kids have friends over to play (just to play, no horses or potential horse accidents involved), I always feel like I need to be extra vigilant around their friends, since if anything happens I'll be responsible and will have to explain it to their parents.

Also, she may be worried about two legged snakes hassling two young girls if she is not there to watch out for you.


----------



## AlmostThere (Oct 31, 2009)

equiniphile said:


> right now, I have to wait for my mom to be ready and make sure she has no plans and such. And that means I barely get to ride. I'm getting about 1 ride every 1 or 2 weeks now because she's busy with one thing or another.


Does your Mom need to be present for you to ride on your own property? Rather than pushing your Mom on the trail riding issue, maybe you could ride every day at home. At least that way you'd get more riding in.


----------



## jamesqf (Oct 5, 2009)

AlmostThere said:


> Also, she may be worried about two legged snakes hassling two young girls if she is not there to watch out for you.


Though that's not nearly so much of a worry when the young girls are on top of half a ton of animal that can bite, kick, and run real fast


----------



## AlmostThere (Oct 31, 2009)

AlmostThere said:


> Also, she may be worried about two legged snakes hassling two young girls if she is not there to watch out for you.





jamesqf said:


> Though that's not nearly so much of a worry when the young girls are on top of half a ton of animal that can bite, kick, and run real fast


True, I did think about that. :wink:

But, being the paranoid Mom that I am, I guess I could imagine someone pretending to be official and stopping the girls on some false pretense, then after getting them off the horses......:-(

I was just trying to throw out another possible reason the Mom of the OP might not want the girls to go out alone. It's generally accepted (though I'm not sure how true it really is) that things are not as safe today as they were 25 years or more ago.


----------



## AlmostThere (Oct 31, 2009)

kevinshorses said:


> I fail to see what your mother could do but pick up the pieces if something happened but the fact is that she pays the bills and what she says goes.





SuperStarsSugar said:


> This is 100% true. I'd also like to add that she probably feels that her supervision will prevent accidents (unlikely). I know my mom felt like that when I was 13. She probably still does. The trick is to convince her that this is not true, and that having a riding companion, a helmet, and cell phone is the next best thing.


The Mom also might want to be there so she can know there are pieces that need to be picked up. It may be that she doesn't think she'll keep the girls safe, but would worry that she would not be in a position to help them if something bad did happen.

Two girls together with cell phones definitely sounds safer to me than one girl out on her own. Probably even after a bad accident one of the two would be in good enough shape to call for help.

For the OP, no one's opinion really matters besides her Mother's opinion, since the OP is a minor. However, if it were my 13 year old daughter, I'd let her ride with her friend. Assuming certain conditions were met.

Both girls have working cells, they are warned to stay on their horses and get away if approached by strangers, the friend proved to be a competent rider, and the parents of the friend were okay with her going.


----------



## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

Thanks for the input, guys =)


----------



## Britt (Apr 15, 2008)

I'd go by your mums rules and negociate with her over time. 

I'm 19, and I still follow my grandmothers rules when I go riding because the more I follow her rules, the less she worries and the further away I get to ride as the time passes. I remember when I started riding with my best friend 'seriously' as in almost daily... We were about your age.

At first, we had to prove to my uncle that we could ride... and we were confined to his SMALL yard, not able to go any faster than a trot. Finally, we were allowed to ride to another friends house about a mile away and back, and we did that for a few months, never going any further. When our horses ran away with us, and my family saw that we were ok and could handle them, we were allowed to ride a few miles further, though my family called our neighbors and friends and asked them ot keep an eye out for us and my uncles would come and hunt us down every hour we were gone to make sure we were safe. 

My friend and I asked fairly often to be allowed to ride further, and were granted it because my family saw that we were ok. We were allowed to ride to the highway, but not cross it or ride on it. 

My friend got a job helping a man who owned horses... I was allowed to ride to his house and ride back on his trails, which added roughly 20 miles of trails to where we rode, and, through me, my friend was allowed to go that far.

My friend moved. 3 miles away, across the highway. Through her, I was allowed to suddenly ride across the highway and sometimes on the highway in order to get to her new house, where she now has about 200 acres of trails to ride on, plus all these other roads that add on about 10-15 more miles of riding area.

I met another friend who owned horses. Through that friend, I was allowed to ride to her house and further, gaining about 15 more miles of trails and roads to ride on. Through me, my new friend gained all the areas I ride on regularly.


Base point,once my family realized that I was going to be ok, I was allowed to ride further and further away... and now, at nineteen, I'm content with the area I have to ride... I ride through mountains, all these trails, huge lakes, along the road, miles and miles away from the house.

Maybe your mum just needs to go with you a few times and watch yall, see how careful and stuff you guys are, and then you can make a compromise.


----------



## StormyBlues (Dec 31, 2008)

I see everyones points here. I can't do alot of serious riding at home with my parents not there. I would say to talk to her about a riding schedual, and hold her acountable for it, and then as others have said, let her follow for a bit and see if she lets up


----------



## TooMuchTrouble (Nov 25, 2009)

When I was young 15.I rode by myself a lot...But back then we did not lock the house up before we went to bed...
Folks have gotten so much meaner since then,1971.
It is not you & Sam that your mom is worried about, it is the other folks.
And the dangers on the trail...And is it not also hunting season ??? It is here..
And above all...Mom is the boss ! ! ! When you are the mom, you get to be the boss of your children...
That was what my mom said.....She was right ! ! !
Now I tell my son,"When you get to be the dad,you can be the boss of your children" ! !
I am older now & my mom still bosses me around,when I visit her house..LOL


----------



## justsambam08 (Sep 26, 2009)

Well, the general rule is "safety in numbers" especially when dealing with horses. Not only do they feel more secure in a herd, but you'll feel better if there's at least one person to stay behind and one person to go get help, if needed. I can see your point that because you have experience with riding, and it is your horse, you have a good grasp on what could potentially happen.

At the same time though, shes your mom, and she's going to think of the WORST possible scenario that could happen, and that's what would happen the day she doesn't go out with you. If its adult supervision she's really craving, maybe get an equally horse savvy person to come out with you so that you all can ride together? I know if I had my mother walking on the ground behind me, I wouldn't feel very comfortable taking off into a trot when ever I wanted.

Also, cell phones are great, but like you said, the place you ride is pretty open and cell phones aren't always reliable, even when you know you get service everywhere, sometimes they just crap out.


----------



## 7Ponies (May 21, 2009)

In this day and age, I agree with your mom. Unfortunately there are too many perverted people who do want to harm you. It's not a nice world we live in anymore. That being said, when I was your age I rode by myself all the time, no cell phones back then either. 

If I decided to hit the trails by myself today, you can bet I'd have my gun with me. I'm not afraid, but I will defend myself if needed as well.

Listen to your mom. She's looking out for you.


----------



## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

Yea, there's hunters around the fields but never in them, because they're privately owned by non-hunters and parks where they've restricted hunting. Even so, I always wear a bright green vest, put bells over Arthur's neck in winter, and put something bright on my miniature mare that runs around us when I ride. My mom has seen that I can handle myself on a horse; she just doesn't like me riding by myself unless I stay in the small area around our house that's just grass, where she can see me out the window....And I can't go faster that a walk. And the miniature mare always runs into the woods, so Arthur freaks out. (he and the mare are literally inseperable. I cant go on a ride without the mare running free around us, or Arthur freaks out and it's just bad...)
Sam got her mom to talk to mine about her purchasing or leasing a horse, and her mom told mine that she just doesn't want to have to pay for board, lease, feed, hay, etc...And in my school district we're going to have to pay $600 per school sport since the levy failed, starting january. Sam's doing a few sports so her mom said she can't pay for a horse and the sports.
As for having a schedule and holding her to it, honestly, that wouldn't work with us. I'm at my dad's house half the time, and my mom has errands to run and bills to go pay, etc during the day.

Thanks anyway, guys! Sam's still trying to convince her parents to let her get a horse, so it may work out lol


----------



## justsambam08 (Sep 26, 2009)

Well now it sounds like shes just being overprotective and anal......If you are restricted to riding around the house, i'd say at least break the rules a little bit and trot everywhere.


----------



## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

Haha k. Okay, Sam and I convinced her mom that if Sam can pay for the horse, board at my house, feed, etc, she can have a horse. We think Sam will have enough by May.

Like right now, I haven't ridden in 3 weeks because my mom says it's too cold for her and my sister to walk behind me while we go on rides. I asked to go bareback in the back pastures, with my cell phone, yesterday but my mom said no because she couldn't see me from there. It's just stuff like that....I mean, I've been riding my entire life and Arthur is the calmest, most loyal horse ever. I can handle him with ease. I want to do some Trail classes at the fair, but I'm not sure if I can since I can't practice very often


----------



## Coal (Nov 23, 2009)

*My Opinion*

I think your mom has a point. So many things can happen when you ride alone. You would be much better off with an adult.


----------



## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

Okay. Any ideas on how to get my mom to stick to a schedule instead of putting off riding?


----------

