# If you had to describe your horse in an ad?



## AtokaGhosthorse (Oct 17, 2016)

So, I was scrolling through a local horses for sale group on FB last night (Wow, LOOK at this used halter for 5 grand! It comes with a FREE almost finished barrel horse! WHAT a deal!) and I looked over at Hubs and was laughing about some of the more... creative... ways of describing a horse with some hickeys.

I said: Y'know. If I HAD to sell Sarge tomorrow, my ad would read like this:

(All things in parenthesis are as an aside to you guys reading)

Big Bay lovey boy. Grade. Stealer of sandwiches and cheddar cheese slices. Tremendous heart, long strides, smooth trot. Plays pasture tag but not especially nimble/agile, so buyer beware. Hang on when he shakes out - he's got LOTS of power! Notorious klutz, sometimes falls down while tied. Has no idea what neck reining is, you gotta drive with both hands. Needs a BIG saddle, but has a BIG heart! (The next is hub's contribution) Also a bit nervous on trails, likes to surprise you with the eject button. Scared of his own shadow. Great sense of humor, lots of fun on the ground. Respectful. Balks hard at loading in the dark. Great companion horse. Never met a mare or filly he didn't adore (Means he's hard core buddy soured and it happens IMMEDIATELY).

Trigger:

LOUD paint*. Mystery Breed, maybe Mustang, Maybe Quarab, Maybe... IDK. Even the vet gave up. Lots of stamina! Very willing and forward! Big movement, very showy! (Aside: That means ROUGH AS ALL GET OUT if you're riding him, btw) Fancy handle, neck reins like a pro, gets a little loose in the rear end, but a sure footed and agile trail horse. Not for beginners, wary of strangers (Means losing his trust is easy folks) but once you earn his trust and offer a few cookies, he'll be yours for life. No brakes, but does beautiful, multiple circles with enthusiasm. Will go anywhere you ask him to, but expect him to be accusatory and upset with you if it all goes pear shaped after he tried to tell you it was going to pear shaped in advance. Almost self loading! NOT for kids or the faint of heart but has a heart of gold. Very vocal, will do anything for a packet of Quaker Maple&Brown Sugar Oatmeal.

*Paint - An antiquated term still used in SE Oklahoma to denote coloration. A 'paint' here is ANY 'painted' horse of any breed. APHA horse is used to differentiate an American Paint from a 'painted' horse.

Oops:

Little bay filly! 2016 Model! Always in your pocket! Curious, clever, willing. Started under saddle, very green. Never met a stranger! Will be a small horse when fully grown, but will be a great play day horse for a kid or small built adult! Affectionate lap horse, but also respectful when leading. Absolutely loads herself, even when you're not going anywhere or don't want her going with you. Will unload everyone else, even if tied in the trailer (That's a selling point folks! Yes, this filly will help you unload EVERYONE ELSE if you turn your back for two seconds). Still has no idea what neck reining is, but she's a fast learner. Will lay down and take a nap with you, or will stand guard (REALLY CLOSE) while you lay down to take a nap in the pasture on a warm day. Will not tolerate dogs who are jerks - she will chase them off but spooks at NOTHING. Unless it's a football shaped clump of moss she's never seen before. Then she's cautious but still curious. NOT FOR KIDS... yet. But she will be. Someday.

Superman:

22 year old grumpy old man, grandson of the legendary Doc Bar, destroyer of turn out blankets. Been there, done that. He's registered but I don't have papers (Means grade, kids). Great for kids, hates adults who are bullies. Has a few joints getting clicky, sometimes has a right knee slip on him and he'll stumble. Not especially sure footed because of said right knee slip... annnnd he likes to halfway dose while walking on the trail. Will ease up if he feels you losing your seat at a trot or lope. Has auto pilot*. Loads like the old pro he is. Acts like he's 5 at feed time or on the return trip to the barn or trailer. Will teach you how to push roping steers. Will also bite them on the butt if they give him any static. He's an old school gentleman and bombproof. Rides in a halter or a bit. Neck reins like a champ.

So, tongue in cheek - if you had to honestly but creatively describe your horse for an ad... how would you do it? Alternatively? What 'code' do you see to describe a hole in training or a problem a horse has?


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

One day I had a super crappy ride on Isabeau and decided it was time to sell her. I have too many horses. I know I do. I really need to sell one, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Finally, after the lousy ride, I decided to do it. I created the ad. Never put it on Craig's List. I love her to pieces. I rode her today for 2 hours--best ride EVER! Just about every ride with her is the best ride ever. I won't sell her. But here is her ad (which I will never post--I keep the ad to scare her sometimes)

Isabeau, the Most Fun You Will Ever Have Riding a Horse
Isabeau is a registered Paso Fino with amazing bloodlines, which explains her glass smooth gaits. She doesn’t walk, she dances, but so smoothly, you feel like you are gliding. She is 13.1 hands, 11 years old, stands for vet and farrier, UTD on shots and Coggins.
Isabeau is not for everyone, although she will pack the most timid beginner if there is lead horse on the ride. I can ride her solo, but she is an opinionated mare and needs a knowledgeable parent if she is going to be ridden by a child.
She was a project horse that I could not bear to let go. She is too small for me, but I love riding her. The right person will love her as much as I do. I need to downsize my herd, and hate to let her go. To an experienced owner only.


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## csimkunas6 (Apr 18, 2010)

Awesome idea! Ive thought about this a bit but never fully committed to really thinking on it lol

Rodeo Time

2010 APHA 15hh chesnut overo gelding. EASY keeper! Super sensitive feet. Carer of nothing but peppermints and food but mainly peppermints. Loves kids, LAZY, LAZY, LAZY. Cannot keep up with any horse on the trail, will plod along in the very back by himself. Will pee in water as other horses are getting a drink. Stays miraculously clean somehow, would rather not do anything, loves taking naps to where everyone believes he is dead. Can be a bit of an a** more often than not. More whoa than go but is very willing and will do what is asked of him. Incredibly versatile, rides Western and English but would rather be a pasture horse. Will pretend to be lame at times and miraculously be fine minutes later!

Squishy
2018 no idea what breed, supposedly Mustang Welsh Cross palomino turning grey. Fluff ball of a pony, real life stuffed animal! Still in training, but incredibly cute and squeezable!

LOL


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## Northerngal (Dec 27, 2018)

Well if I recreated the ad I used to sell Star it would go like this.


Star, Beautiful gelding. Loves food and will do anything for it.(grazing ditches while riding, stopping to eat branches etc.) In shape... a round one. I always said he stored fat like a camel, but his hump was on his neck... and everywhere else. He's always been an "easy keeper" (prone to founder). Awesome horse for beginners learning to ride.(He taught me how to deal with a horses disobedience and stubbornness) Loves herding dogs, although he'll need to learn some self control or he'll run them to death.:rofl:
We did the animal stacking with him (overweight dog on an overweight horse with a kitty on top) the Kittys expression was priceless! My sisters awesome photography skills chopped my head off and saved me the hassle of scribbling out my face:lol: He's bombproof, no buck. perfect for anyone who lives in the desert where he can live on minimal pasture and implement his camel food storing skills.


*for the record I did everything I could to control his weight and kept his hooves trimmed. I exercised him with at least 8 hours of riding per week and most of that was at a gallop so although he kept the fat he could go on forever without getting winded.


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## ToVictory (Jan 3, 2019)

Odhran 

15.2hh Hackney/Dales cross. Stallion. High stepping princess. Prone to dramatics. Rival of mountain goats outside. Blind klutz in the barn. Fancies himself. Likes mud baths. Brushes are enemies. Needs to be restrained for a wash. Don't touch the hooves. Or the tail. Taking your life in your hands if you play with the mane. Puts on a daily show. Sulks when mares ignore him. Hates apples, loves sugar cubes. Will knock you over in pursuit of turnips. Believes he is a dog & will follow you everywhere. Will chase you. Will chase the dog. Will be chased by the cat. When bored lets himself out. Eater of hair. Eater of jackets. Will try to eat your arms. And your pants. Licks. Comes with warning sign "Scratch & Be Squished". 

As a carting horse uncoordinated. Temperamental. You wanna go left & he goes right. Hates blinkers. Hates other horses. Hates people watching. Hates judges. Likes harness. Will nibble traces. Likes bells. Thinks leg wraps are stupid. Will smack you in the face with tail. Will headbutt you. Soft mouthed & will pass out if you pull too hard. Jekyll and Hyde, mostly Hyde. Turns into raving lunatic being unharnessed. Will kick cart. Stops on a dime when you gotta go. Refuse to start. Thinks it's all a game.
Added...

*It's all tongue in cheek. He's one of the better horses, as I said in my intro I've been around horses since forever, I've known. He's loyal, obedient, intelligent, naturally curious, eager to please & behaved around other horses. Fantastic (calm) with traffic. Surefooted as a hack horse & has the hackney gait. He's a good carriage/driving horse; during competitions turns into a prima donna (a Look At Me, Me, Me, Me show). The only real quirks he has is he likes to nibble you (hair, clothing) & before we added another bolt to his stall door did let himself out. I'd never sell him.


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

Beauty - 94 model bay AQHA Daughter of World Champion Top Vantage and Granddaughter of World Champion Impressive. HYPP/NN. Excellent Build, proven broodmare. Trained by World Champion trainer in western pleasure. Perfect beginner walk maybe trot rider but an intermediate or advanced rider would enjoy an 8 second ride. Loads, clips, ties. Mechanical lameness, the limp is for show... Severed tendons aren't anything to worry about. No need for vet check.

Sierra - 12 year old lazy lazy lazy Sorrel TWH, no papers. Beginner safe in any tack, does not neck rein. No Spook. Loads, clips, ties.

Riley - 12 year old AQHA bay Gelding - Impressive lines HYPP/NN. English, Western, Equitation. Beginner safe. Great ground manners - Only ran over one Grandma. Loads, Clips, ties, bathes... Easy Keeper with daily buteless, occassional bute, yearly Osphos, constant shoeing. Sound most of the time and only minor previous illnesses and injuries such as fractured pelvis, cellulitis, Navicular, pealed eyelid.... Really easy keeper.

Baby Horse... 4 year old AQHA FQHA ABHA - Rides english and western, not quite neck reining yet. Priced at ONE MEEEELION DOLLARS...

Pistol - 35 year old Sorrel AQHA gelding - no papers. Only vice is rearing and he's only got... well... a little bit of arthritis? He has 4 good teeth and his vision might be going... He eats alot.....


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## Avna (Jul 11, 2015)

Brooke: 8 year old brown Almost Certainly Purebred Morgan, 14.2 but no one ever believes it, carries herself like she's a hand taller. Don't really know what she's like because I'm too close to her. Not a beginner horse, because she gets agitated and distracted easily, and when that happens she will not stand still. Frankly she has a hard time with the whole concept of standing still. Will paw to China if you leave her tied alone, but she won't pull back. Easy keeper, dominatrix in the pasture, is a one-person horse. Soft mouth, fancy gaits, surefooted, mind is a little complicated. Excellent trail horse. Actually she's not for sale.


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## Cedar & Salty (Jul 6, 2018)

Cedar: You can't afford this horse. I wouldn't sell him for $1,000,000. He's a terrible horse. Keep moving. Nothing to see here.

Salty: Beautiful light gray (for 3 minutes after a bath) grade quarter horse gelding. Stunning when viewed from the left side, a little creepy when viewed from the right. Stands well for grooming, particularly enjoys having the dirt cleaned out of his empty eye socket. Exact breeding is unknown, but likely 3/4 Hancock QH and 1/4 Arabian. Extensive training on the ground and under saddle. Works at liberty, round pens with voice commands, very light and responsive under saddle. Beautiful mover, well suited for western dressage. Works cows, calm and sensible on the trail. Intermediate rider or better, well suited for an aspiring PRCA saddle bronc rider, as he throws a helluva bucking fit at unexpected times. Easy keeper -- never met a food he didn't like. Sweet, sensitive, fast and agile.... nevermind. Keep scrolling, this one's not for sale either.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

Older, perfectly trained horse. Does almost everything, anyone can ride him, show him, handle him, whatever, he will do it. Mortgage your house, as he is going to cost all of it!


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## rambo99 (Nov 29, 2016)

My palomino gelding registered AQHA. No amount of money would be enough even with his nutty goofy ways,he's my boy & not for sale. Black gelding same deal no amount of money would be enough, he's safe and dead broke to ride kid safe beginner safe horse. Picture of palomino from summer 2018.


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## Avna (Jul 11, 2015)

Why do I love this thread?


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## Acadianartist (Apr 21, 2015)

It's not something I've ever thought of... but the horse screamer has.


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## Acadianartist (Apr 21, 2015)

And if you need advice on buying a horse, the Horse Screamer can help you with that too.


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## phantomhorse13 (Feb 18, 2011)

We get a local paper that has a lot of amish driving horses advertised in it. They can use some very creative phrases to describe their horses, such as "sticky starter" or "fills both hands" or "doesn't do stop signs."


But my all time favorite so far was an ad for a riding horse which included the phrase "quick with her feet." I am still not sure if that was a compliment (clean jumper, fast gamer, savvy trail horse?) or a warning (rears and strikes, kicks, etc)..


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## DreamerR (Dec 17, 2017)

Oh geez this is gonna be tough.

Chasing the Dream aka Chase. JC registered as Powerlope. Is a 16.2 hh 9 yo ottb. Very nervous under saddle and needs a confident rider. He is green and gets spooky around new environments. Very friendly with other horses. He was started over fences before I got him and is ready to start his new career. Would make a great project horse and with time and patience could be a champion. He has a puppy dog personality with no rear, buck, bite, or kick. $1500 to a good home. 

For Justice I would probably say

Justice for All is a 7 year old Appaloosa gelding. Sweet as can be and will follow you around. He has experience being shown up to 2’6 in the hunter and equitation arena. He does not spook easily and not lazy at all. He has schooled up to 4 foot and is *usually* not prone to refusals. Asking 6500 but negotiable to the right home.


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

Gallego. 

14.2 hh pony. Breed, I believe, is "backyard." Black (almost, for a couple of weeks when his new coat comes in) with no markings (unless he's been in the mesquite again and has cuts all over his face). He's beautiful and he knows it. Beautiful conformation. Super friendly. Loves people (probably too much, as he will attempt to eat just about anyone) and follows me around everywhere, and loves other horses (but they all hate him for some reason). Easy keeper who believes in keeping his beautiful round pony shape by avoiding work wherever possible. He does enjoy chasing smaller animals and also cows, however. Experienced trail horse who will bite the butt of the horse in front of him and kick the one behind. Hunter / jumper prospect (is currently working on trying to get out of being trained to be a show pony). So much potential in this horse (too bad he hates work). A natural athlete, so smooth, responsive and sensitive (when he wants to be). But more whoa than go (his favorite gait is stop). Clever in a naughty pony sort of way (opens gates, breaks into barns, always knows where people stash their treats). Is getting a lot better with the spooking.


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## QueenofFrance08 (May 16, 2017)

Stitch (registration pending as in mailed it last week hopefully registered as "Ouch My Stitches") 6 year old (7 in May) Registered (see earlier note) APHA mare. Loves eating, like a lot. Bred to be a barrel racer but much prefers to be a distance horse as there is food all along the course (see loves eating). 270 LD miles in her first year, 2018 AERC Rookie Champion for LD (I think, waiting for the results to come in the Endurance News issue this week), 2018 MnDRA Top 10 LD Horse (8th). Will hopefully be a great 50 miler as well as she was full of energy following her last 30's of the year (like rearing on her way to the trailer still full of energy). Pulses down as fast as the Arabs! Also a great cattle sorting horse, placed 3rd in the local league during 2018. Currently terrified of the sound of tree branches hitting helmets but that will go away quickly as soon as the ground thaws and snow melts and she can be ridden 30+ miles a week. Not for a beginner unless she's being ridden 30+ miles at least every other week. Basically don't try riding her during the winter when all of the trails are closed. One zillion dollars.

Jake (TRJ Just Jake AHA Registered but Breeders wont give up his papers) 9 year old Arabian gelding. Grandson of Marwan Al Shaqab. Bred to be a halter horse but crooked tail ended his career in that. Formerly spooky but now loves being ridden so happily marches down the trail (prefers trail, more spooky in arenas). Even walked past owners terrifying herd (just ask any of the other horses) of tinsel Christmas decoration animals with confidence. Walks slower than a snail, prefers to trot. VERY Hard keeper. Walked through a puddle yesterday which was a miracle so shows promising endurance future. Finished one 10 mile intro Competitive Trail Ride with great scores last year, dropped out of his first 30 mile ride because of a small bucking fit (does not like Zilco S hacks, use rope nose instead). A lot of money but not quite a zillion dollars.

Lilo 3 year old half Arab half Paint mare. Halter broke, knows how to lunge, happily wears a saddle. Loves food, attention, treats. Will follow you around the pasture for attention. No fear of machinery, thinks tractors are fun to hang out around. Should be easy to train under saddle, very low key horse. Not for sale as she is owners dream cross for an endurance horse.

Those are just "my" horses, not DH's half of the herd. Love this post!


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## Change (Jul 19, 2014)

Cally - 12 yr old registered AQHA mare. Lots of personality (attitude). Not a pocket pony but won't run from the halter - easy to catch (standoffish, but lazy). Stands for grooming and farrier (nap time and must have front shoes) but isn't a fan of baths (hold on tight!). Great deep woods trail horse (but she'll buck if bored). Very forward (doesn't know what 'walk' is) and aware of her surroundings (home is THAT WAY). Perfect buckskin color (looks just as dirty when clean and vice versa). Would consider trading for an arab-cross endurance mare (if you take my son, too).

Tango - 6 yr old (maybe) Rocky Mtn Horse gelding. Smoky black (aka faded or brownish). Pocket horse (until he sees the halter, then he runs), friendly, curious (takes the rake from you), and creative (it isn't nailed down, it's a toy!). Gaited (does the broken washing machine). Lots of stamina and love the trails. Can be forward (or balky). Responsive to leg and learning neck reining (aka doing LOTS of circles). Lots of power so not for beginners (aka he's put me on the ground a couple times now). Make offer (it won't be enough).


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## AtokaGhosthorse (Oct 17, 2016)

phantomhorse13 said:


> We get a local paper that has a lot of amish driving horses advertised in it. They can use some very creative phrases to describe their horses, such as "sticky starter" or "fills both hands" or "doesn't do stop signs."
> 
> 
> But my all time favorite so far was an ad for a riding horse which included the phrase "quick with her feet." I am still not sure if that was a compliment (clean jumper, fast gamer, savvy trail horse?) or a warning (rears and strikes, kicks, etc)..



The Amish auction where I bought Sarge, in Clarita, OK... LOL They're more modern and secular, relatively speaking, than a lot of communities... I love them, all wonderful folks. Anyway... they do an open farm and ranch auction every year - anyone can sell anything there, including their fellow Amish, so you get a good mixer of Amish and English. There was another horse there... had a LOT of chrome on him, one glass eye, light sorrel, very flashy. Horse was a BANK REPO and seemed pretty... non-sociable. That's why we gravitated to Sarge - he was eager to be friendly. Anyway, this Amish kid volunteers to ride Repo Horse in the round pen and put him through his paces while the auction for that horse was going. The horse got all kinds of screwy with bucking and kicking out, generally acting a fool, Kid on his back stuck like glue though. Repo hadn't been ridden in well over a year. The Amish Auctioneer was using a LOT of those clever phrases to try sell that horse. One particular bucking/kicking out incident was described as: WHOA THERE FOLKS! Don't let him intimidate you! He's just a little loose in the back end! I'm sure he just has some bolts that need tightening!


As a side note, there was a bay Welsh Pony there... they had one of their little girls ride him. And he tried to get ornery with her, and she handled him masterfully, in her little dress (She had on shorts under it) barefoot, wearing her bonnet, and all!


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

K
Grey mare. Usually disguises that with dirt or poop
Easy to catch. Great to groom, farrier, clip, bath (well she gets washed a lot to soon got used to it & trailer.
Sweet natured
Rarely spooks unless she doesn't feel like schooling and then she'll spook at 'nothing'.
Jumps anything you point her at. Also jumps out of her paddock when she wants to go into her stable.
Not mareish but the other mares seem to get besotted with her
Has three speeds - walk, fast and very fast.


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## SilverMaple (Jun 24, 2017)

Black grade Paso Fino gelding. 14.2 hh. Aged approximately 12 - 14 (honestly, it's anyone's guess). Very friendly now that's he's realized people can be nice and sometimes have sugar cubes in their pockets. Good ground manners. Ties well. You can clip him if you're patient. Good for vet and farrier. Stands for saddling, but you'd better be quick to get on him before he scoots. He's getting better, but it's a work in progress. This horse has all the signs of having been grossly abused in the past, so is very nervous in new situations and around new people. Tense under saddle but getting better. Has lovely flat walk, gaits like a freight train as fast as you want. Decent lope. Sure-footed with good sense on trails. Road safe. Can be spooky and herd-bound and can jump out from under you faster than a cutting horse. Needs an experienced, sensitive rider who won't lose their temper and has the patience to let him learn something won't eat him and nobody is going to beat him. Lovely, gentle, friendly horse on the ground. A gentleman to handle, and middle-of-the road in a herd. Prefers turnout to a stall situation. Sensitive to mosquitos and gnats so needs a garlic feed-through supplement and daily fly spray in summer.

6 y.o. Paint mare. 14.1, 1100 lbs. She's as wide as she is tall. Great top side of the pedigree. No name bottom side. Built like a tank with a huge hip. Gentle, sweet, in-your-pocket horse. Loves people and food, easy to catch. Going nicely under saddle, started last fall. No spook, will crowhop when asked for a lope if she hasn't been ridden in awhile but do some long-trotting or round pen her for a few minutes first and she's fine. She will get over this with more miles. Ride her regularly and it's not an issue. Soft in the face, getting a nice flex and turnaround. Nice stop and roll back. Slow and lazy, but will open up and go if you need her to. Her calm, curious personality makes her a great prospect for a youth or amateur ranch/extreme trail/team penning/all-around horse. Has been worked on the feed lot. Will work a gate, can throw a rope off her. Can be herd bound but getting better the more she's ridden. Road safe, good on trails. Loads, clips, hauls well. Ties well. Started on driving training (harnessed, ground driven, hooked once and she didn't bat an eye). Will do anything for a peppermint.


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## AtokaGhosthorse (Oct 17, 2016)

Gina: 6 year old sorrel mare. Big but agile. Strong leader (rules the pasture with a set of iron hooves). Rock star on trails, smooth ride, 4wd when you need it. Sometimes senses phantom alligators and/or crocodiles in wide but shallow creeks. Gets excited about hogs and has no qualms giving chase to said hogs. Easy to get along with as long as you are of one mind and going the same direction. Will slip up on you in total silence to watch sunsets with you after she's put her head over your shoulder and scared the bejeezus out of you. Has multiple easy to find scratchy spots - this mare will curl up, rock back and forth, and flap her upper lip if you scratch them. Refuses to be left tied at the hi-line and will tear loose and track you and whatever horse you're riding. Spooks at nothing, has multiple speeds as follows:

*It's Too Darn Hot, I'm Tired. I'm not going any Faster, no.
*There's FEED OVER THERE!
*I CAN SEE THE BARN! It's a mile away, but I SEE IT!
*Oh, you want a lope? Here's you a lope!
*SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND HOLD ON (This is her top speed and you best have some carmex or chap stick on when she hits it - the wind will tear the top layer of skin off, she's going so fast. Also you will almost roll backwards out of the saddle her launch is so hard)


Brakes are good, probably need a little tweaking - we don't know. We just hold on and shut up.


Price: 5 Million Doll Hairs.


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

I started a sale add once with:

A $30,000 talent with a $.30 per pound personality. 

No one can say I wasn’t honest. lol. Then, like the horse screamer, we ended up not selling him when offered the 9k I asked. It wasn’t my bad though, I was selling for someone else. (Embarrassed and hides under chair)


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

Also, Moonshine.

Beautiful blue roan quarter horse. Age: middle aged. May have papers! Good luck finding out! Moonshine is the queen of all horses and only accepts human servants of the highest caliber (or who have plenty of alfalfa hay, treats, and food). Moonshine is a very intelligent horse and will come when called, often bringing some of her rowdier friends bucking and stomping in her wake. She is an angel on the ground and will follow without a halter or lead rope when she wants to. She is head mare material, and in fact at her old home she had a mini-herd of four. Other horses like her because she is really calm. She is as close to bombproof as I’ve ever seen in a horse. But still has a lot of go. She basically has two speeds: slow (walk), and faster-and-faster-and-faster (trot-canter-OMG slow down!). Very, um, gassy, and will let one rip whenever you cinch her up. Also whenever you curry near her butt. And also whenever you are just generally near her butt. Also when riding her (and it never gets old, really).


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## Knave (Dec 16, 2015)

Zeus

Like most children, although only a two-year-old, Zeus is convinced that he is an adult. He hates being left behind when the other horses get to go to work, and simply will not accept the answer that he must grow up before being asked for more. His general practitioner agrees with him though, and is slightly disgusted with America’s tendency towards childhood obesity.

Is he a toy or an actual horse you ask? I haven’t figured out the answer to that question. Maybe he is actually a big dog in disguise. He is affectionate as a yellow lab and has the coloring to match.

Do you need help breaking waters? Zeus will make sure he knocks the ice off of your shovel and stands at your side. Is another horse being difficult to catch? Zeus will place his own head in the halter you carry. Convinced of his massive stature he will even try his hand at disciplinary action towards any horse who irritates you. 

He is your best friend and will make sure you know it. Eventually he will make a great ranch horse and even is learning to do some work pulling a cart. If you want a prospect for the dressage arena after plowing the garden and branding those calves, here is your guy.

The price is steep though. Be prepared to shell out your bank account.


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