# Harsh comments. please help!



## Razzamatazz (Nov 3, 2013)

I keep my beautiful, fizzy ottb at a livery yard. Over winter (we have had a harsh winter over in Britain) my pony has become verrrry skinny. Yet i have been feeding him on haylage and weight gaining food all winter. I Have been trying to keep weight on him. Yet a very dramatic inccedent where my horses was close to death (and sadly another horse died) caused my dear horse to loose more weight than ever. People would say "Oh he needs fattening up!" which was fine, then it became slightly frustrating, yet due to the fact they where simply concerned for my darling TB, I just took it. Yet my friend, who i ride with often- compared to my pony her pony is fat. I always go up to her horse and say "you such a big boy!" i recently asked her if she was going to soak her horses hay in the summer, due to the fact he gains weight in summer and can get fat. she then says "Id rather my horse fat than skinny like yours!" She has said this alot and I asked her to stop saying that. She then completely looses her temper- saying how my horse is too thin, how its not nice that i go up and poke her horse all the time and that my horse is WAY to skinny and that he isnt correctly looked after. Im really unsure what to do (this may sound really silly but im neck deap in stress preparing my wedding) and i really like her i just am fed up being told my horse is skinny in harsh ways like her. What should i do? please no harsh comments :/ Thankyou


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

Ignore it? 

What are words gonna do? Make sure the horse IS being properly cared for.....I.e. if he is having issue getting weight and almost DYING then have a vet out....
And go about your day.


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

Its not healthy for a horse to be too fat or too thin so I'd just click 'ignore' on your friends comment and concentrate on dealing with whatever is causing your horse to be underweight
I moved from the UK to the US and I can tell you that compared to here you people have no clue what a harsh winter is!!! However you have had a very wet winter and constant exposure to wet weather is more debilitating to a horse that dry colder weather. A lot of TB's simply don't have the thickness of coat to deal with it and need a rug/blanket to help them out. Essentially they just can't eat enough to maintain weight and keep warm never mind put on weight.
The weather there is picking up now so hopefully your horse will start to improve - I would get a fecal sample done to see what sort of a worm burden he has as that could be your problem
As for the friends pony - that is not your problem unless she asks for advice its best to leave her too get on with it.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

You could stop commenting on how fat you think her horse is, stop offering unsolicited advice about how she should feed him and stop asking loaded questions. It sounds like she doesn't appreciate the fat horse comments anymore than you appreciate the skinny horse comments.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## IndiesaurusRex (Feb 23, 2011)

I have to agree with Dancing Arabian - as much as you are aware of your horses weight, and don't like her commenting on it, she probably is aware of her horses weight, and doesn't like you commenting on it.

If the horse is underweight, stop riding him. By exercising him you are using valuable calories that he could be utilising by turning them into fat. If it were my horse? I'd be chucking a warm rug on it, giving it ad lib, good quality haylage, and a small bucket feed three times a day.


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## usandpets (Jan 1, 2011)

Friends should be honest to each other but friends can be mean when joking around. 

However, I think you and "your friend" are going over the top. Not what I would expect from a true friend. 

Stop making comments about their horse unless it is a compliment. Ignore any rude comments from them. There is a saying that fits well and I think has been forgotten by many of the younger generation: If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shoebox (Apr 18, 2012)

You can't expect her to stop commenting about your horse being skinny when you won't stop talking about how her horse is fat. She probably dislikes that as much as you dislike her comments. It's not really appropriate for either of you to make such comments, and I'm surprised that it's an issue between friends.

Talk to each other. You're supposed to be friends, so have a talk about how this is hurtful and could she please stop, and that you didn't think that maybe you were being hurtful too.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I'd have to see your pony to decide. Tell her obese horses have fat around their organs which makes the lungs and heart work harder-same as for overweight people.


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## horselovinguy (Oct 1, 2013)

I think you may need to understand the actual way a horse is "scored" to help determine whether your horse is thin, your friends horse is fat or someplace in between.
If you are saying your horse has had a dramatic weight loss due to sickness and has not regained, then a vet visit may be in order for some assistance, and to make sure there are not still underlying medical issues hindering you...
A horse, just like a human to gain weight needs to consume more calories than they use on a daily basis. So, a tough winter you say we had the horse probably also consumed more calories just trying to stay warm...
Your friends horse who you say is to fat has the opposite issue...the horse consumes to many calories in a day than it uses in exercise or moving around and is storing fat deposits. One sounds to need a diet and the other more calories consumed..
There is a happy medium out there, you need to find it.
A nutritionist to help you get the right amounts and the right kinds of food into your horse to let him gain and thrive.
A vet can help with all of those things.
I immediately wonder if you have had a blood chemistry {full blood work-up} done since the illness, have the teeth been taken care of and if so are there any issues in the "floating" {filing} of the teeth and due to the illness could your horse have developed ulcers or have ulcers from stress...again things all to be looked into and considered.
Here are 2 links to "scoring" of horses weight that are recognized around the world as standards in the industry...there are pictures also to help you to "see" and aid in the understanding of the information.
_Purina Horse - BODY CONDITION SCORING CHART

The Henneke Body Condition Scoring System | Habitat For Horses_

I wish you the best of luck in getting your horse to his correct healthy weight soon.


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## spirit1215 (Mar 11, 2014)

I agree with Dancing Arabian. I'd just ignore her comments and focus on getting your horse back to good health. I would avoid commenting on her horse's weight if you don't want your horse's to be brought up.
Hopefully this winter ends soon and we all can start recovering from it lol


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## bkylem (Sep 21, 2013)

I also would ignore it and in the future just realize that some people are quite sensitive and can interpret a simple remark as a negative. I would just be mindful of that and refrain from having " horse talk" with her.

You don't need the drama.

My best to you !


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## stevenson (Sep 12, 2011)

I would stop commenting to her about her horse being fat. 
People have told me my horses were to fat, and my comment was .. at least i feed mine. 
I have never seen a horse die or being removed by animal control for being fat. For neglected feet , underweight , yep , they get taken away. 
being to thin also is bad on the internal organs.


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## Razzamatazz (Nov 3, 2013)

Ok Thankyou all


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## BitlessForHappiness (Sep 17, 2010)

I found that a half cup of corn/vegetable oil with grain helps add on weight. I agree with ignoring the comments, but make sure that horse is gaining weight, and don't keep exercising him too much if he's underweight! His health should be first priority.


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