# The Trail Less Traveled



## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

I had some lovely replies to my first post, and they were lost to the "Great HF Update", where we all lost a bunch of posts over a certain time period. I'm sad about that, I really love the replies and support my lovely HF friends give.

So I'm really bad at journaling, because I wait SO long to update. A lot has happened.

I had one good ride on Shan before leaving for Christmas vacation. She got feisty and reared up (that little brat), since she hadn't been worked in so long she likes to find ways to act up.

I felt very strange over vacation, I thought I might be getting sick. Something didn't seem right. I had a feeling, came home, took a test... and found out that I am pregnant with our first child. My whole world turned upside down. It's not something we ever expected to happen, we never planned on it. But not keeping our little baby is NOT an option so... here we go!

We came back to a full barn of horses (just four stalls lol). The stud colt is gone. He was kind of risky, got out one day and nearly bred my mare through the fence. Yikes. The new boarders are as follows: A and her OTTB Pie, and two brothers with a mustang mare and gelding. A and I have become fast friends, and we go on a trail ride together every Monday. This is great because otherwise I don't have motivation to ride (my first trimester has been SUPER rough).

I noticed that Shan has been super careful with me ever since I got pregnant. She knew before I even knew. All the times where she would normally do an ornery protest in response to being asked to work after time off, she doesn't. She hasn't even been grinding her teeth (she's so opinionated lol!). I feel so safe with her, and she has really mellowed a lot over the past couple years. I feel that by the time our little tyke is ready to start riding, she will be a great babysitter horse.

A's horse Pie is a bit of a nervous guy. He also likes to crowhop when he wants to gallop and is told no. I'm a bit disappointed, because both Shan and I are dying to hit our desert gallop trail and carve it out. But I'm leery of riding out alone now, and A's horse probably won't be ready to try a canter for a while yet. If I wasn't pregnant, we probably would have switched horses and I would have galloped him out for her (I've acclimated a few OTTB's before). But since I am pregnant, I'm sticking with my steady eddie and avoiding unnecessary risk.

We have plans to move back to Ohio in April. We will be shipping Shan first, then heading to Virginia beach for a work vacation, then returning to where Shan will be at the family horse farm and finding our own place to stay. I'm excited to move out of the desert, and actually excited about the future. I'm so happy to be moving to where there is grass and leaves and trees and autumn and spring and summer and winter. Our baby will be able to play in the grass, and I will be able to try our DH's family's Walking horses. I'll get to hang out on the beach for a while this spring.

I feel so blessed and thankful for the opportunities we've been given. And I am so glad, and so thankful, that Shan will continue to be a constant part of my life. It is so cool that my own first horse, my first training project, first everything, will probably also be my child's first horse.

Ah, and don't worry, she's not too unpredictable to be a child's horse (especially a few years down the line). She knows how to figure people out. She has been nothing but gentle and careful with children and the inexperienced. But you get someone who knows what they are doing on her back, and she might test them a bit. Smart mustang.


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

Wow, congratulations on your big news!! I think Shan will be a great horse for your little one to learn on, and you will have a lot of fun teaching your kiddo how to ride.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Congratulations!!! you must be thrilled, and maybe a bit scared, too. 
Hope you don't have too much trouble with morning sickness.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Yea, I think I started to follow this and I got lost in the shuffle. Now I will be able to follow posts as you are able to put them up, but you have a lot on your plate right now for sure.


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Congrats! Happy to find your journal and follow along.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

Thank you everyone!
@tinyliny
I was really scared at first. I've always been afraid of child birth. But I thought about it, and thought about all the women that go through it, and how I have a high pain tolerance and have brushed off things that many women would have cried over. So I thought that 'if they can do it, so can I'. Now sometimes I might get a little bit scared, but mostly I'm excited.
The morning sickness has gotten a lot better, thanks! :grin:

Tonight's ride was awesome. A is becoming a fast friend and a huge support for me. She just had her first baby six months ago, so I've been able to ask questions, which has been comforting to me.

Shan was a bit spooky starting out, but so was Pi. She settled right down after a few minutes and I laughed and told A that she only spooks when she's got pent up energy. Kind of like a get out of work tactic, or maybe just to burn some of it off.

We got out at a decent time so were able to do the full trail loop. Pi was much better behaved this time. Shan got really excited and picked up a couple canter strides a few times, and Pi didn't go into a crowhopping fit. The trails were dusky just before sunset, and there wasn't any wildlife or people to be seen. It was very nice, just us and the horses and friendly chatter between us, while Shan and Pi took turns threatening to nip and flirting with each other.

With the exception of @gottatrot who I only rode with once, I have never had a riding buddy that I have enjoyed as much as A. I'm generally a quiet person until I get to know someone very well, but conversation between her and I just flows so easily. The quiet moments are comfortable and peaceful, but few and far between. Neither of us has an issue with a spontaneous change in gait, such as suddenly deciding to trot without warning. One reason I avoid rides with other people is because the etiquette of calling out "can we trot?" to the group every time gets old. So I enjoy riding with those who don't mind sudden change, and don't freak out when horses start acting like silly horses.

Unfortunately A is having some trouble with her western stirrups. She finds that after a period of time they cause her ankles to hurt and so she can't trot after that point. I have had similar problems with western saddles so I understand. I suggested putting a broom handle through them to turn them the way they need to be, but I'm not sure if that would help or not. A did go out and buy a used english saddle. It's a pretty nice one, not super expensive, but nice. She was missing a girth but I had an extra one laying around and gave it to her to use. I think she will like english better, once she gets comfortable with it.

I'm finding it fairly easy to sell off my excess equipment. Tonight one of the boarders asked me if I might sell my hoof boots to him, and if he could try them. I told him sure, and that I would sell him the set for $80 if he wanted them (being used and such). Then I could buy the hoof boots I really want (cavallos), so I hope they fit his horse. Not that Shan really needs hoof boots right now. She's not been tender on the rocks, and since I started doing my own trimming, it's easy to fix any chips of any overgrowth or such before they get worse.

That's about it for now. I'll probably post again next week. :wave:


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

It's been a while guys. I haven't posted because I haven't really done much with the horses. The next Monday ride was cancelled because A was trailering out with a friend she hadn't seen in a long time. The following Monday, I couldn't make it out because I had transportation problems.

The last week was pretty nutty. Had some issues with the other boarders (not A). A's horse Pi wasn't getting taken care of properly despite her paying for full board. So I gave her one of my slow feed nets and we worked out a schedule between us for feeding. I like it much better. She feeds on weekends for me when I can't really make it out easily, and I do the second feeding, turnout, and stall cleaning on weekdays.

This past Monday we did get together for a ride. But I didn't really ride. I'm just not feeling up to it as I've gotten further along in the pregnancy. So I asked A if she would help me out by riding Shan on Mondays. So we switched off, I would lunge and ground work one, while she rode the other.

I got to learn a few things about A's riding history from watching her, and noticed some fairly large holes in Pi's training. Shan showed me that A, while a good rider, has not learned how to reinforce her cues and gain body control over a horse that doesn't want to listen. My guess is she has mostly ridden the schoolmaster type that don't offer resistance. Working with Pi, I noticed that he does not like giving to pressure, on the ground or under saddle. While he will move out under saddle, he does NOT have a good stop, he doesn't turn well... in general he lacks training and control. And though he is soft when he does want to listen, he is more stubborn than Shan when he doesn't want to!

I started showing A some dressage on Shan, then had her get back on Pi and we did some exercises on getting him to relax. At anything faster than a walk, he likes to raise his head to evade the bit. And I don't mean that the problem is he won't travel "on the bit", he raises his head to the point where she doesn't have any control, he completely evades the bit. Unfortunately, she put a bigger bit on him to solve the stopping problem (I had her use one of my snaffles for the dressage exercises). As many have learned and know, a bigger bit does not guarantee a better stop. That comes with training. And it showed in what happened the next day.

Last night, I got a text from her. She had a bad fall on Pi. She was heading out to the trail, but it got windy and he started getting very excited. So she decided to turn around and head back and just work in the arena. At this point, he started bucking and bolted down the street. She just barely got him turned a ways down the street, then they ran into a tree as she fell down. Her entire side basically got slammed into the tree as she fell, with the weight and speed on impact. She can't put weight on it as of now. I told her not to worry about getting out to the barn, I can take care of the horses.

I felt so bad for her. We had a long text conversation, and while I apologized if I came across as a "know it all" as I was just trying to be helpful, I said that Pi really needed ground work and arena work to fix these problems he's got. I offered her use of Shan anytime she likes. I said that I think if she can learn to ride Shan well and get her to do what she wants, it will help her with Pi. While Shan can be lazy, she is super safe and a great trail horse. She should be a good confidence builder for A.

I think that if A had been able to gain body control over Pi that bolt would have ended much differently. But he seems to have learned that if he doesn't want to listen, he doesn't have to. He hasn't been taught the one rein stop, she can pull his head to her knee and he will still walk sideways.

I'm hoping that I can help her make some progress with him before I leave in April.

Sorry this post didn't have much to do with Shan or me. Neither of us are doing much these days lol!


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## JoBlueQuarter (Jan 20, 2017)

Subbing!

I'm a little late finding this journal, but CONGRATS on your baby! Imagine all the fun you'll have teaching him/her to ride! ;-D

Nice to hear that you're having fun with A and Pi; sucks that Pi is acting up though. I'm guessing he's a young horse?


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

I think this is great! Subbing  Shan is gorgeous. She looks really kind and smart. Congratulations on your little accident XD


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

When she fell, which bit was she using?


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

When she fell, which bit was she using?


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

whisperbaby22 said:


> When she fell, which bit was she using?


She was using her bit. I did recommend when we worked together the day before this happened that she use what she was familiar with on trails. Her bit is I believe a tom thumb with metal curb chain, though to be honest I hadn't given it more than a passing glance when out of Pi's mouth. Regardless, it's got a good shank on it and the curb chain, so she should be able to put a lot of pressure on his mouth. The fact he can run through that concerns me (he ignores this bit on a regular basis). In fact, she said that he "bolted faster than he ever did before". This happened before apparently? :frown_color: 

However, he is an OTTB and if he was never properly reschooled after the track, bearing down on his mouth means more go than whoa to him. Some dressage teaching him cues to stop other than just rein should definitely be helpful.

Tom Thumb for those who don't know:


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

JoBlueQuarter said:


> Subbing!
> 
> I'm a little late finding this journal, but CONGRATS on your baby! Imagine all the fun you'll have teaching him/her to ride! ;-D
> 
> Nice to hear that you're having fun with A and Pi; sucks that Pi is acting up though. I'm guessing he's a young horse?


I am super excited. I can't believe that my horse that was such a little devil in her younger years is now a confidence builder for someone else. I am so pleased and happy, I just know she is going to be awesome for my baby when the time comes to ride.

Pi is an ex-racehorse. I think he's in his teens. Not young, just seems to have a lot of holes in his training.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

Kalraii said:


> I think this is great! Subbing  Shan is gorgeous. She looks really kind and smart. Congratulations on your little accident XD


Glad to have you join us! And thanks 

Shan is totally amazing now, but she was a holy terror in her younger days. She did just about everything bad vice wise a horse could do! She outsmarted me a lot lol. But with a ton of time and patience, and lots of hours and miles training, she has turned into an incredible horse. Just wait till you see how awesome Katie is going to turn out in a few years.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

It's hard when it is not your own horse. You are right when you say that there are holes in the training. And a tom thumb is not a bit that should be used by unskilled rider's. It has it's uses, and I have gone to a harsher bit when needed, then back to less harsh but I do it carefully. One of my favorite bits to use on a horse that takes off is a pelham. If the rider is not skilled with double reins just use the snaffle and keep the curb on a short rein laying on the horse's neck and used when needed. It may help in this case, but now that you are pregnant it's best to keep out of the way here.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

Unfortunately it appears that my friend A doesn't know much about bits. I explained that shanked bits don't really allow for direct reining like snaffles do, she wasn't aware of that. I also explained about racehorses running into bit pressure, she didn't know that either. She is extremely nice, I like her a lot, and actually very teachable. She seems to want to learn what I have to offer. The problem is now I'm thinking that I have barely over a month to teach her, and I'm concerned it won't be enough time. I do think that she is fully capable of retraining Pi, with just a little tips and guidance. I'm more than willing to help out with instruction and ground work, but I'm sure not getting on Pi's back!

The pelham is a good suggestion @whisperbaby22 , thanks! It will probably be something to look into in the future, once she and Pi have mastered the snaffle in the arena.

In other news, she did visit the ER as she had a bad fever. Found out nothing was broken, so that's good, but she is very sore.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

Today was a good day. I met up with A, who is feeling much better and walking normally. We set up to do some ground work with Pi.

First, I took out my baby Shan and gave her a twenty minute lunge. She is such a good girl, and boy does she make me laugh! After getting warmed up, I asked her to canter. She got real fired up and spent half a round galloping, which made me laugh at her, which then seemed to give her the idea to spin towards me and rear up playfully. She wasn't being aggressive, but playful. She was about ten feet away from me and just took a second pawing the air, and tossed her head as she came down, which made me laugh again. Then she stood still and awaited my directions. 

Some people would be afraid if a horse reared in their direction on the lunge. Others would aggressively get after the horse, thinking it to be disrespectful. But you have to know the horse. You have to be able to read them. I know Shan, and I can read her like a book. We know each other very well. I'm not afraid of horse antics because of the liberty training I've done with her. So when she rears in play, and all of that power and joy and energy comes bursting forth in an explosion of emotion, all it does is fill me with wonder, awe, and joy. I can't even express how that feels in that moment. You just have to experience it for yourself. If you haven't tried liberty before, you should consider it.

Anyway, I got my silly playful girl and tied her up after lunging. A's 7 month old son was with her, in a playpen that was put in a safe location but also right next to the horse tie. As I began to help A with lunging and ground work, I watched Shan over there with the baby. She ADORED him. Ears pricked forward, head low, just calmly watching him. She kept an eye on him all the way until his dad came and picked him up. She really likes babies and kids. I'm surprised, but glad.

So Pi did really good on the lunge, and was sidepassing, moving haunches, leading well, etc. So my next idea was to ground drive him. We put her western saddle on him, a D ring snaffle, and I ran both the lunge lines through the stirrups. Then I started ground driving him. He picked it up fast. It was good because I was able to feel what A is dealing with on the rein when riding him. He can be a bit hard mouthed, and he doesn't seem to have been taught how to turn with his whole body when asked to turn instead of just his head. I worked on turning with him. He tried running out on me a couple times on a turn, but I was able to quickly convince him to move the direction I wanted by keeping pressure on the turning rein and using the opposite rein/lunge line against his body to encourage him to move away from it. That really seemed to help and he was soon moving well for me.

By the time all was said and done, his turns had vastly improved. His stops are pretty bad though. He liked to try to run through my hands. So I kept the pressure on until he stopped, and then I made him back up a couple steps. Then had him walk on and do something else, then stop and rinse and repeat. His stops were a lot better by the end, but they definitely need work.

Me trying to help A with ground driving was pretty funny. Performing an action is one thing, but explaining how to do that action is entirely another! Pregnancy brain wasn't helping, but I tried my best. She caught on and was doing well with him at quitting time. I told her that my opinion was that this would really help him if she did this once or twice a week. It's also good because it is giving her a feel for how the horse should look and feel when working, rather than letting them slop along, and I think this will help her with feel once she gets back in the saddle. She had him looking good at the end of the session and I was pretty happy with both. 

Shan, while a star the rest of the time, is a devil to trim. SUCH a brat, and I'm not very fast either. It's only been four weeks since I last trimmed, so her hooves weren't too bad at all. But she makes it difficult. She likes to yank her foot away, and I've tried a variety of methods to make her stop, none of which have really helped. So I was only able to get the front two hooves done. I'll try to come back later this week and get the hinds and touch up the front again. I'm either going to have to teach DH how to trim, or just call my trimmer and have them come out for one last trim before I ship her out in April. I'm thinking the latter is going to be more feasible because poor DH has enough on his plate with his crazy work schedule.

That's about it for now. I wish I had video of that lunging session. It was so fun and just crazy hilarious. And the rear was beautiful. Something like that happens so very rarely, and I always feel like I've been given a gift when it does happen.


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## horseylover1_1 (Feb 13, 2008)

Definitely subbing! I LOVE your journal. You write so well, I felt like I was right there when you were describing your rides and groundwork sessions. 

I'm glad you found a horse friend you get along well with. I haven't found that in years, unfortunately. I get along with everyone at the barn but they are more acquaintances than someone I could call a friend. Also so happy to hear that you're able to use your passion for training with someone that really wants to learn and can benefit from it. What you're doing with A could be exactly what she needs to enjoy a better relationship with Pi. Even when you move. Speaking of, whereabouts in Ohio are you moving to? I live a couple of hours from Cincinnati. 

Cannot wait to read more about your training with both horses, the move, and of course the new baby!! Ahhhh so exciting!! Are you wanting a boy or girl?


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

horseylover1_1 said:


> Definitely subbing! I LOVE your journal. You write so well, I felt like I was right there when you were describing your rides and groundwork sessions.
> 
> I'm glad you found a horse friend you get along well with. I haven't found that in years, unfortunately. I get along with everyone at the barn but they are more acquaintances than someone I could call a friend. Also so happy to hear that you're able to use your passion for training with someone that really wants to learn and can benefit from it. What you're doing with A could be exactly what she needs to enjoy a better relationship with Pi. Even when you move. Speaking of, whereabouts in Ohio are you moving to? I live a couple of hours from Cincinnati.
> 
> Cannot wait to read more about your training with both horses, the move, and of course the new baby!! Ahhhh so exciting!! Are you wanting a boy or girl?


Aww, thanks! I don't hold a candle to those like @gottatrot or kalrai though when it comes to writing. Glad to hear you found it interesting though!

I want to help A and Pi as much as I can in what little time we have. I think the ground driving should help immensely. If she's been doing OK on that on her own, I may ask this coming Monday if she would like to try her hand at riding Shan again.

The area I'm moving to is fairly close to Dayton. That's very cool you live within a few hours, we should meet up sometime this year if possible.

I REALLY want a girl! I've still got my childhood breyer horse collection that I want to pass on to my child. I think a girl would enjoy it more. DH and I both think it's a girl, but we will find out for sure in May. But we will be overjoyed with and love the child whether it's boy or girl. I will admit that I'm daunted by the prospect of naming a human being. The fact that I will be deciding what the child is called for the rest of its life is a much heavier responsibility to me than even that of parenting.


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## horseylover1_1 (Feb 13, 2008)

I'd love to meet up! We may go to Ohio this year for horse shows. So Dayton is near Cincinnati right? About an hour away?

LOL @ the name thing. That sounds like something I would say. I think people too often think of a good name for their BABY and don't really think about how it'll sound to classmates, future employers, friends, and the persons spouse later on in life. I am sure whatever you decide on will be a beautiful name. 

By the way, I meant to mention.. if A has problems with her stirrups hurting her ankles, she should try these. I stumbled upon them while look for some black stirrups for a saddle I may buy. 

https://www.statelinetack.com/item/tough-1-swivel-and-lock-endurance-stirrups/E015790/


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

horseluvr2524 said:


> I will admit that I'm daunted by the prospect of naming a human being. The fact that I will be deciding what the child is called for the rest of its life is a much heavier responsibility to me than even that of parenting.


Wow, I've never thought of that before. That is pretty serious! 
My suggestion is to not make it too difficult to spell. My name is different from the usual spelling, and it gets old having to spell it out for everyone. When I got married I gained a last name which is a common word everyone knows how to spell. That was something I appreciated very much. If you can just say "Brown" and not have to spell out "Pembeldywigglsby" every day, it makes your life a lot easier. 

A friend's mom had three girls and their names were Schawna, Scharan, and Scharay and their mom was so proud that there were only one or two letters different in each of their names. The girls were not as happy. 

Another awkward name story...I worked with a girl named Honey. When we went into patient's rooms together and I said, "Honey, can you please give me that?" the patients would look at us so weird. Also awkward to say people's names that are initials that can mean something else. T. P.? P.P.?


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

@gottatrot

That is a good point. I really enjoy names that are unique and different though, but I'll be sure not to pick anything that is too difficult to spell. I haven't really thought about boy names because I am so hoping for a girl lol. I'll find out next month what the gender is, and then we will have until September to make a decision. My DH's suggestion for a girl name was "Marilyn", being a combination of both of our names. I was not impressed lol. I personally would not like such a name, being associated with Marilyn Monroe, who is too often a sex symbol. 

My favorites are the ones that have something to do with music:
Aaralyn - "An American name meaning with song; A woman with song"
Melody
Song (I knew a little girl named Song. It fit her so perfectly, she was very cute).

I'm not a big fan of the names that are too obvious, like the last two I listed. Something like Aaralyn with a hidden meaning to the name I think is very cool.

But all just my musings. It sure is a lot to think about. I will be more inclined to listen to DH's suggestions if it happens to be a boy. The hard part is that we both have to agree on the name! lol!


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

With "Aaralyn", she'll have to get used to spelling it out for others. Not sure how it is pronounced, but I'm guessing spellings like "Eralynn", "Arelyn", "Eralin", etc. I'm probably showing my age here, but not many people have to ask me, "How do you spell Bob?"

I once spent a few months doing volunteer tax preparation. I learned to hand the parent a sheet of paper and ask them to write down their kids' names, birth dates and SSNs. Then I'd have to ask how they pronounced the names. Of course, Anne of Green Gables always had to specify, "That's Anne with an E...."


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

bsms said:


> With "Aaralyn", she'll have to get used to spelling it out for others. Not sure how it is pronounced, but I'm guessing spellings like "Eralynn", "Arelyn", "Eralin", etc. I'm probably showing my age here, but not many people have to ask me, "How do you spell Bob?"
> 
> I once spent a few months doing volunteer tax preparation. I learned to hand the parent a sheet of paper and ask them to write down their kids' names, birth dates and SSNs. Then I'd have to ask how they pronounced the names. Of course, Anne of Green Gables always had to specify, "That's Anne with an E...."


I think I found the name (if it's a girl). I posted it in my pregnancy sucks thread lol. "Aria Elizabeth". Aria is short, she will still have to spell it out, but it's short! It has musical ties, a Hebrew meaning "lion of God", and an Italian meaning "air". It got the approval from DH too. Now, I don't know if the 'i' in Aria is supposed to sound like an e, y, or just an i. I like the e or y pronunciation better.

Elizabeth would be the middle name.

I loved Anne of Green Gables, well the show on netflix! I am a reader but I never could get through that book. I always got lost in her very, very, very long monologues. But hearing and seeing them acted out was hilarious!


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

horseluvr2524 said:


> I loved Anne of Green Gables, well the show on netflix! I am a reader but I never could get through that book. I always got lost in her very, very, very long monologues. But hearing and seeing them acted out was hilarious!


Aria is a beautiful name. I think most people would know how to spell it (even though I asked a coworker and she came up with a very odd spelling that included a W?). 

When people come up with good names, I think hmm, maybe I could name one of my pets that...(no offense).
A co-worker got this funny look on his face when I was talking about taking care of my orphan baby rats. He confessed he once had a rat as a kid, and she had my name! I told him I was not offended, but was honored to have the same name as his rat. 

My sister and I read all the Anne books when we were kids, and both have gone separately to Prince Edward Island, LOL. Beautiful place! 
The new show on Netflix has a different twist, kind of darker and sad but I liked it. It made me think about adopting a kid for about ten minutes before realizing kids don't eat food out of bags or cans. Actually, they do eat cereal and baby food, don't they?


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

gottatrot said:


> Aria is a beautiful name. I think most people would know how to spell it (even though I asked a coworker and she came up with a very odd spelling that included a W?).
> 
> When people come up with good names, I think hmm, maybe I could name one of my pets that...(no offense).
> A co-worker got this funny look on his face when I was talking about taking care of my orphan baby rats. He confessed he once had a rat as a kid, and she had my name! I told him I was not offended, but was honored to have the same name as his rat.
> ...


I'm not offended if you want to name a pet that. It is a pretty name, I'm glad you like it so much!

You made me :rofl: at the last sentence. Yeah, ideally, people like home cooked food. It's better for you! Actually, homemade baby food is super easy to do. Cooked sweet potato or yams, apple sauce, etc. Soft food that they can't choke on. Since I've done the whole custom diet thing for birds, I'm not daunted by this prospect. Parrots are as difficult to feed as kids! Actually, more difficult.

My BIL more often than not fed his kids cereal as a snack or for dinner. I admit that I was disappointed to see this, because it leaves huge gaps in nutrition. But he is a single parent and full time military, so I understand his situation.

BIL was mortified when DH wanted to make everything homemade for the family Thanksgiving. BIL wanted to get things out of cans! DH was mortified by the can idea, because their entire family excluding BIL are cooks. So we made everything homemade, and they made this ridiculous chart/schedule about when things were supposed to go in and when you are supposed to start making them, etc. I told them to give me as little work as possible because I knew that I would not be able to keep up with their pace. I'm a fairly good cook in the kitchen, but I am pretty slow!

The cat is being super cuddly with me right now. She has been for the past couple months. She knows I have a baby, can sense the hormone changes or something. It's been a struggle teaching her not to climb on my stomach though.

Oh, and I meant to add that I think you should consider having a kid at some point, whether through adoption or otherwise. I think that you would be a great mom, and your DH sounds wonderful too.


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

I am enjoying your name discussion, so thought I would add some amusing stories about naming our kids.

Both of our kids are adopted. Since we were an older couple, we had applied for some older children who often get overlooked in adoptions. But one day at work, I got the call that a newborn baby was available, and if we had his name ready when we arrived at the hospital, it would go on his birth certificate. We had one hour to choose a name for our newborn. . . and we did it. Never regretted it either--Christopher John.

Then Chris's birth mother got pregnant again and asked if we wanted her second baby, and we certainly did! I was her birth coach this time, and we had months and months to pick her name. As a teacher, I get to hear all kinds of names, so as I longed for a baby of my own, I had some names in my head that I liked. I love Chrisanne, but of course, with Chris, that one wouldn't work. My next favorite was Kadyann. My husband and I both liked Juliet, so for a while she was going to be Kadyann Juliet. But my husband thought that Kadyann would look babyish and silly on her future PhD dissertation, so he wanted Kaitlin Ann . . . and that's what she got. But we call her Katie Ann.


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## horseylover1_1 (Feb 13, 2008)

I really like Aria and Melody. And you know, there is nothing wrong with waiting until they're born to make a decision. I've heard people say they had a name picked out for a baby just to change it when they were born because the name just didn't suit them. 

My "almost name" was Rae. Thankfully my dad put his foot down and said we are _not_ naming her Rae. LOL. It's my middle name instead. I actually like the name, but only as a middle name or guys name. (Spelled Ray of course).


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

Yesterday was the first time I have really spent time with Shan in probably two months. She has been so neglected attention wise, but perhaps she doesn't care if she looks like a ragamuffin and gets to laze around, so long as she has food.

I'm a few weeks into my second trimester now, and I feel GREAT! It is a huge relief, I must say. I was so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired :lol:

So I woke up yesterday with a lot of energy, and aside from my morning coffee coming back up, felt really good. I decided to do all the house cleaning that morning and devote the rest of the day to barn time. The nice thing about having a tiny house is even when it is super dirty, it only takes me an hour and a half to clean, and that is with me moving slow.

Got all the stuff done and then pestered DH to drive me out before he started work on the car. I spent about seven hours out at the barn yesterday, and came home sore, tired, scratched up, and overwhelmingly pleased with all that I had gotten done.

The first thing I see upon arriving is that my bridle is hanging outside the tack room, by the bit, halfway taken apart. I was annoyed. This has been an ongoing problem, and A and I are sure that it is the guy boarder using our things and moving them. I know for a fact that they used my trimming tools while I was away over Christmas and dulled them out (with no business trimming their own horses, they got the angles all wrong) which seriously ****ed me off as I had just bought them and used one time. It's my fault for leaving them on my shelf in plain sight, but since I've never met anyone in person (other than gottatrot) that trims their own horses, it didn't even cross my mind that someone might use them. I was more concerned about my saddle, whips, etc. Anyway, back to the bridle: it could have been the new boarders that used it, but more on them later.

I started off with giving the shedding ragamuffin a bath with her hypoallergenic shampoo. (Oh, a side note, she is not itching herself to pieces this spring, so I feel even more sure that what I thought was a bug allergy was actually an alfalfa allergy.) Her summer coat glowed, most easily visible on her neck and chest. I sprayed out her hooves and had a good look at them, as the reason I had devoted the entire day to the barn was because she needed a trim.

I started with her rear hooves and worked on them a little bit at a time throughout the day. This made it much easier on me, and her too I suppose. She can be an obnoxious fart about getting her hooves trimmed, no matter how gently and how low I hold her hooves to the ground. I admit to smacking her more than once on the shoulder with the metal rasp when she continually yanked her hoof out of my hands. Yes, not the best horsemanship, but I made sure to hit muscle and not bone, and I did not hit her hard enough to do any damage (honestly I doubt I'm strong enough especially in my current state). I am glad no one was there taking pictures or video of the process, because I'm sure I would die of shock if I saw for myself the precarious positions I put myself in while trimming. I'm not strong enough to manhandle her farrier style, and with a horse fighting me, I end up in some not so great spots. As much as Shan fights me though, she has never stepped on me or hurt me, to her credit. I think horses are more aware of that than we give them credit for.

I was struggling with trimming the bars on a rear hoof when the new boarders showed up. I had seen the underweight older mare show up in the empty stall over the weekend. That stall had no water trough so they took my bucket (yes mine, I paid for it) that I use for setting up and filling hay nets and filled it with water. Sigh. I didn't say anything.

After talking with them for a moment, while their young children looked for ways to get into trouble with the horses, it became apparent that they knew next to nothing. The owner is a young girl probably twenties, and she had brought her brother and his wife and their many children out with her. The owner explained that they had bought the mare, an older broodmare, and was told she had been under saddle, broke, and given the impression that she is a good and gentle riding horse. This is not the case, and it's plain to see that the mare is in poor shape. I was thinking 'they saw you coming miles away', but didn't say anything of the sort. I said that my mare is very good with children and that we could get together sometime and do pony rides. "OH! Can we do them today?" she said. Um... I looked over at Shan who was fidgeting after having stood for a bath, deep conditioning and brushout of mane and tail (her tail is down to her fetlocks now!), and some hoof trimming. I said "Sure, she could use a break anyway" and proceeded to put the saddle on her. I lunged her first and she had lots of wiggles, she was feeling very exuberant. She reared up in my direction on the lunge and was bucking at the canter. This made the girl nervous and she asked if she bucked when you get on her. I explained that she had been locked up in her stall and not worked for a long time, and so she just got excited on the lunge. I'm pretty used to even gentle horses getting exuberant while lunging, so to me, it just exemplified even more her apparent inexperience. I can understand being nervous for the kids though, and I assured her Shan is safe.

It took them a long time before they were ready to put the kids up, so I went back to hoof trimming. During that time A showed up and started to saddle Pi. A good while later, the dad brought the kids over for a pony ride, one at a time. I had him walk on the same side as me next to the child, because they didn't have helmets for them and the kids are young (4 to 6). Shan made faces the WHOLE TIME and had me a bit concerned. I was surprised that she was acting this way and just focused on keeping an eye on her. She had her ears back in the annoyed way and the angry mare nostril wrinkles. I honestly think that she was upset by the dad walking next to her back there. She likes kids, but I'm not sure that she likes men much. It took her a long time to warm up to my DH, and sometimes she will still be a snot to him.

During the time we were pony riding, they brought the old mare out and had the other girl hold her rope over the hitching rail, but not tied. The mare immediately pulled back. Holy cow. This mare is a serious project, and they are extremely ill prepared to deal with her. They also asked me if I thought she looked pregnant, as they think she is. I said that I couldn't tell either way and they should call a vet out who can run tests and find out for sure. They didn't seem to like that idea.

After that slightly stressful pony riding experience was over, I decided to hop up on Shan for the first time in a very long time. I just had her halter and lead on her and she was surprisingly very good for me. She trotted and cantered on the gentlest of cues, no whip required. I was able to post for a little while, then went to two pointing/half seat at trot and canter. All the motion is too much for the baby inside me.

As I climbed off and went to take her saddle off, the girl ran over and asked if "we" could ride. I wasn't sure what she meant by we, but Shan needs exercise, and I was there to supervise. So I let her up on her. Shan was practically laughing at this girl and completely ignored her. The halter was not working out with this girl on her, so I put her bridle on. I started to give the girl a mini lesson because it was yet again apparent that she knew nothing. After circling at the walk for a little while, I asked what her riding experience was. "Oh, I've been riding since I was 9!". I looked at her, and I wonder if I looked annoyed. "Yes, but what kind of riding experience." "Oh, mostly trail riding. I barrel raced one time. I can walk, trot and canter."

OK, well, we can try it. I went and got my dressage whip and had to explain to her how to use it. Ask with leg, backup with whip. It didn't take her too long and she was trotting and cantering. Kind of an impressive feat, because it doesn't matter what you are using, if you don't ask right Shan will just walk (I think she would make a good lesson horse). Her hands were rough and she didn't listen very well about how to stop, she was rougher on her mouth than I would have liked. She also bounced at the canter, and I was grateful for that therapeutic saddle pad because with that I'm sure Shan didn't feel it much. If she had, she probably would have started being very ornery with the girl, but as it was, she behaved pretty well. The girl exclaimed "wow, she IS a good horse". I felt arabian mare attitude rear its head inside of me. Of course she's good, I put years and years of training into this horse.

Then, while I was talking with A who was riding, the girl rode over to the hitching rail. I guess the other girl wanted to get on, but didn't ask me if she could. The second girl was wearing flip flops and short shorts. She climbed on and started to walk around in the 'arena', with the dressage whip in her hand, which I would not have given to her. I probably wouldn't have let her on at all because of her attire, but she didn't think to ask me. After futilely plodding at a slow walk, at which I couldn't help but laugh inwardly at her futile attempts to speed up which Shan ignored, she came over and asked how I usually make her go. I gave her a couple sentences about the cues. She tried for maybe five more minutes and gave up. A and I laughed at Shan's excellent ability to figure out a person's skill and ignore them if 'they are not worthy'. It reminded me of @bsms Mia, except Shan didn't toss her riders if they were not worthy, she just ignored them.

If they ask again about riding... the answer will be no. Not unless they are going to pay me for lessons. The difference between them and A is, A has a lot more experience. She and I get along like two peas in a pod, she's easy to teach, and she doesn't make herself out to be something she is not. I can trust A not to ruin my horse. It wouldn't take very long for these newbs to ruin her. I'm not trying to be a snobby know it all, I just am extremely picky about who I let ride my horse. 

While I was talking with A, she mentioned the guy who I mentioned before at the beginning of this post. She said that he fed Pi 4 flakes of alfalfa without asking (he isn't supposed to feed her horse), and he told her that he did it because he thought Pi looks thinner since we took over feeding instead of him. What an arrogant... Pi was thin BEFORE we started feeding and looks much better now on the schedule that A and I came up with! Before, his hip bones protruded and ribs were visible through his winter coat. Now he is at a good weight, just about perfect. Hip bones covered, good muscling, ribs covered, but not overweight.

This guy seriously gets on my nerves. He sticks his nose into everyone else's business and likes to try to micromanage the barn. For instance, feeding. We have pole stalls that are open to the elements, partially covered with a breezeway down the middle. Hence, feed, dust, and everything else flies into the aisle and lays there. The footing in the aisle is an old, pitted blacktop. It is impossible to keep clean, a broom can only do so much. All the horses get hay outside of the stalls, including his. All of the feeders are at the front. He comes up to me and says that he wants me to hang my hay nets on the outer part of the stalls (where they are open to elements and can get wet from rain), because they get hay in the aisle. Excuse me? Are you moving your feeders so your horse doesn't get hay in the aisle? WTF? I told him that I don't like hanging my nets out there because my hay can get wet. He says "OK, I guess that makes sense for the five times a year it rains here." I didn't appreciate the attitude, but focused on the task at hand (hoof trimming) and didn't say anything. You have the audacity to consistently use my things without asking, screamed at me more than once over the phone over stupid things, and now you are going to complain about how and where I feed my horse? Grow. Up. This is a self-care barn, where everyone is pretty much supposed to keep to themselves and do their own thing, not use other people's things, and not stick their nose where it doesn't belong. If it's not hurting your horse, what's your problem? Oh yeah, and he pulled ALL the bedding out of my stall, 'being helpful cleaning', even the shavings I put down, so now the stall is hard dirt.

OK, that's enough barn drama for now. I needed to vent. If it wasn't for A, I'd probably be going nuts. If I was going to stay long term I would get a shed to lock up my hay and equipment, but since I've only got one more month there, I'm just going to put up and shut up for just a little while longer.

I wish I had gotten pics of Shan. She looked so pretty after her bath and mane trim and hoof trim. I'm looking forward to giving her a good, easy life in Ohio. Pasture, deep bedded stall, fresh orchard grass hay, sounds like heaven!


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Be careful this last month. I know you want to get along with everybody, but I'm afraid you have set yourself up for free pony rides. Use your pregnancy to keep these people off your horse.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

whisperbaby22 said:


> Be careful this last month. I know you want to get along with everybody, but I'm afraid you have set yourself up for free pony rides. Use your pregnancy to keep these people off your horse.


That's what I'm concerned about. Honestly, I don't mind pony riding kids around on a lead, which was why I offered. It's when the two adults got pushy about riding that I got uncomfortable. It's easy enough to say no though.

What has crossed my mind is the possibility of them feeling entitled to ride my horse now, with or without permission. If I find evidence of my horse being ridden and it was not A who did so, they will have h*ll to pay. However, I could probably pretty easily solve that problem without even having to do something drastic like padlock the stall... I just need to tell them a few stories about how unruly she is when I'm not around. Just a few tales from the early years when she was a holy terror. I think they would scare easily, since they got freaked out over how she acted on the lunge.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

That's a good idea. And when you are there you can just say that you only have the energy to do whatever you were going to do. I have never let anyone near my horse that I did not know. I got from your post that these people are not well known to you. This could easily turn into a dangerous situation, and I want you and your family and your horse to get out of there before anything bad happens. I had to board for a long time, and I am sure there are some great places out there, but I never found one. It was one place worse than the last. Be polite, because you don't want to antagonize them, but don't let them near your horse.


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## horseylover1_1 (Feb 13, 2008)

That's nice of you to share Shan. But I am glad to hear you don't plan on making it a habit because these people do sound like trouble. Even though it's not funny, your stories make me chuckle. It's like reading a book sometimes - you got all the "characters" at your barn. Lol.

Glad to hear the pregnancy is going well!! You'll have to excuse my ignorance as I've never had a kid (and don't keep up much with other peoples) but when do you find out the gender?


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

horseylover1_1 said:


> That's nice of you to share Shan. But I am glad to hear you don't plan on making it a habit because these people do sound like trouble. Even though it's not funny, your stories make me chuckle. It's like reading a book sometimes - you got all the "characters" at your barn. Lol.
> 
> Glad to hear the pregnancy is going well!! You'll have to excuse my ignorance as I've never had a kid (and don't keep up much with other peoples) but when do you find out the gender?


I'm glad someone got some enjoyment out of it LOL! People have said that I get very funny when I'm annoyed, I guess that it might show in my writing too. DH likes to do ridiculous things just to get those annoyed looks from me, it cracks him up. My mom did also, and the two used to tag team me, back when mom was still in my life.

You can find out the gender between 16 and 20 weeks, if the ultrasound tech can get a clear picture, i.e. baby isn't blocking view lol. I'm currently 18 weeks. I'm going to the doc next/this month (April), so I should know then.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

Well, there won't be much in the way of updates from this point on.

Shan loaded onto the truck this morning, headed to Ohio. Horse shipping is stressful! I went with KC horse transportation. Overall, they have been good to deal with. The pickup window got changed twice, but I think that's a pretty common thing with shipping companies transporting multiple horses.

The two drivers were nice. They were as patient as could be expected with my mare who was acting like a little ****. I was horrified honestly at her behavior. Normally she is such a good loader. But one thing I forgot about is her hatred of backing into dark spaces. Indoor barns, wash stalls, and the like aren't really a thing out here in the desert. So it's not something I've worked on with her. She was fine walking up the ramp into the trailer, but when they started trying to back her into the stall (head to head setup), she said "hell no!" and started throwing a fit. It took both guys and me (helping in what way I can) to get her in her spot. About 15 to 20 nerve wracking minutes of pushing and shoving and me trying to coax her a bit, and swinging the rope on her chest to encourage her to backup, etc. They had to revert to using a chain. First over the nose because she kept trying to run back off, and then under the lip because (according to DH, I missed this) she bit the driver and then was trying to bite me. All fear caused. And I felt horrible about it, but when you have a horse shipper that needs to get back on the road, that is not the time to spend several hours doing a training session. I feel like a bad horse owner, like I left her ill prepared. But it seriously didn't even cross my mind about the head to head setup because she loads wonderfully... walking FORWARD, not backwards. 

I apologized to the drivers. They said not to worry, that wasn't even close to the worst they've dealt with.

Of course, once Shan was in there cross tied with the bar up and a hay net, she was perfectly happy munching away. I'm hoping that by the time they get to the layover in Texas, she will be tired out and used to the trailer setup and not be such a problem when it's time to load up again.

Here is a couple pictures of her and me, and one of her on the trailer. I will post updates and pictures as I get them.


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Excited for you, DH, and Shan to start this adventure! Did you end up finding a barn in Ohio or will she be staying with your family?


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

egrogan said:


> Excited for you, DH, and Shan to start this adventure! Did you end up finding a barn in Ohio or will she be staying with your family?


I found a private barn owned by a woman. She races harness horses for a living and has a few personal horses of her own. She has a couple different pastures, feeds orchard grass hay, nice enclosed barn, does blanketing and the whole shebang for $250 a month. The downside is that it's not close to family, but since we are going to be in VA for at least two months now (possibly until spring 2019!), it doesn't really matter as much. I won't be riding anyway.

DH almost changed his mind about stopping through Ohio before heading to Virginia (found out Ohio is out of the way). But I threw a fit, because I won't be traveling during my third trimester (so the whole summer), and I don't see road trips happening in winter. I'm not going a whole year without seeing her, I at least want to see her settled in her new barn and meet the barn owner face to face.

I'm not sure where we will be after this summer. Like I said, we could be in Virginia for a long time! It's all kind of up in the air. But I'm glad I found a place where Shan will be cared for very well, since I won't be able to be around.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Oh I wouldn't worry to much about the loading thing. I'm not sure that I would have thought to ask about the set up. And this is these guy's business. Horses ship all the time. And she'll be so happy in her new home. Good luck with all of this.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

@whisperbaby22

Thanks! I'll post updates every once in a while, and beach pictures too, though they probably won't have horses in them lol.

Thing is, I knew what the setup was. Head to head is like a larger version of straight load, and she goes well in a straight load (I absolutely did NOT want her in a slant going cross country. I do not like the wear and tear on their body from traveling at an angle). But in a straight load, you walk forward into it. And in a head to head, the horse to back into the spot. Like I said, totally didn't cross my mind. She is going to learn to get over her fear of backing into dark spaces though, since we are now moving to the midwest and indoor barns and wash racks are going to be a thing.


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

Have to tell a similar story about when my mare was shipped from Maryland to Florida. I was already in Florida, waiting for her to arrive. When the shippers came to get her, they had a van with a long high ramp. Now, my mare had done Renaissance Festivals and jousting shows for at least 10 years. She jumped in the trailer. In fact, if tied to the trailer, we had to close the butt chains so she couldn't get in. She LOVED the trailer. But that high van, with the ramp going up up up. She wasn't having any part of it. And I started her as a baby. I was the only person who had ever handled her, and I wasn't there. She was horrible, they told me. Took them an hour and a half to load her. They were SO glad to see the back of her when they arrived in Florida. I felt awful.


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## horseylover1_1 (Feb 13, 2008)

Definitely post pics of Shan when you visit her in Ohio. Sounds like quite the adventure.. I guess it is going well (overall) so far. Ohio isn't too far out of the way from VA, just take the "scenic route" LOL. Anything for our horses, right?


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

Got an update yesterday from the shipper. Shan was doing well, chilling at the layover in Texas. Look at those gorgeous stalls! *drool* She will be arriving in Ohio tomorrow, a whole day earlier than expected. These guys make good time.

In other news, I had my first pregnancy checkup yesterday. I was late on the ball with checkups, since I'm at 21 weeks (from LMP). Regardless, everything looks good. Baby is super active, would not hold still so the nurse could get the heartbeat :lol: must have took after dad. The facility didn't have ultrasound so I wasn't able to find out the gender yet. And of course the place they referred me to for the ultrasound said they didn't take my insurance (wtf right). So I'm doing without for now, but at least got all the bloodwork and tests done so we know all is well in baby town.

Pictures of my other baby, Shan.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

I just noticed they bedded her stall with hay. I've heard of it done before, but never seen it done since it can get rather expensive. I'm sure she was in heaven.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Ya, it does look like hay, not straw. Well, she looks happy.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

She hasn't arrived yet, but new BO texted and said her stall is ready!


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

I have been so wrapped up with settling in, baby and pregnancy stuff that I never came back and updated you guys. Shan arrived safe and sound to her new stable. The drivers/horse handlers told new BO that Shan is "kind of a butthole". They probably said the other word, but that is what BO told me lol. I feel bad about it, but regardless there wasn't really any way that I could have anticipated the situation on backing inside the trailer.

BO turned her out for several days in the small paddock with two calves. That's where she was when we stopped through to visit her before going to Virginia. She liked the little calves, but definitely was bossing them around. She would not let the calves approach us, always chasing them away like "my humans!". :lol: 

When we first showed up, she pricked her ears towards us and stared for what seemed like a long time. "How did you guys get to horse heaven?" Then she started walking towards us, ears still forward, then stopped and started eating grass again. DH translated it into "Look guys! There's food everywhere! I'm walking on food!". I wasn't upset that she was more into the grass than socializing with us. After living in the desert so long, I really can't blame her. Shan was a little ornery when I went in with her, but we had a quick little drill on manners and then she was fine. 

My niece's college is only a half hour from the stable, so she stopped by to see us. She didn't seem too keen on getting close to Shan, but I heard from her mom later that the only thing she wanted to talk about is how cute the horse is lol. I told her that if she took the horse course at her college or got some riding lessons somewhere, she would be welcome to come and ride Shan. I doubt anything will come of that, because she is more of the 'party girl' type.

The BO's sister was there when we stopped by. She has a young daughter about 6. Shan did nothing but follow that little girl around, nose right behind her, and chased the calves away from her. She adores kids, especially little girls. Which makes my other news really awesome: our baby is confirmed a girl! Shan will be so happy. 

The first two pics are from arrival, last two from our visit. Please ignore my road grunge. My pics are always so horrible. I'm telling you guys, my face is not that red in person. I'm a lot prettier in person!

P.S. I did ask BO about the halter on in turnout. I was going to get a leather halter shipped over there if she wanted to keep one on while she was out. She explained that it was just temporary, just left it on in case she went after the cows. She doesn't wear one out now.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

Here are the new pics I just got from BO the other day. Doesn't Shan look amazing?! I was like "Holy cow!". What a difference having access to a pasture and herd makes. Shan now lives out on the big pasture during the day with three other horses. Apparently she is boss of them all, and put the gelding in his place, which BO seemed happy about. BO said that she goes out and runs and plays and exercises herself a lot, which I am VERY happy about!
(ETA: She's been at the new stable about 3 weeks at the time of these pictures.)

I'm not sure what the expression in that first pic is about. She's either saying "why are you taking pictures, I don't feel like taking pictures" or she hasn't gotten her dinner yet and is doing the mare glare lol.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Well congratulations on the girl. And Shan looks great.


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

Congrats on having a girl!! Good to hear Shan is settling in so well. You do look pretty in real life, some people don't look as great in photos. My sister has a friend who looks beautiful in photos but doesn't look as great in real life, LOL.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

"_DH translated it into "Look guys! There's food everywhere! I'm walking on food!"._"

We've joked about how Cowboy would respond to moving somewhere with pastures. We kind of figure he'd look around and say, "_It's a big job, eating all this...so best get started!_"


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## Hondo (Sep 29, 2014)

horseluvr2524 said:


> I will continue to practice dressage, but only for the purpose of improving my horse and myself.


Just stumbled onto this after noticing one of my favorite poems that sometimes seems to detail my entire life.

Had to comment on the quoted snippet. But what would you do if it was revealed that you both were already perfect?

Very interesting about the behavior change after your pregnancy. Horses can be sooo mind boggling in what they know. There seems to be no end.


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## horseylover1_1 (Feb 13, 2008)

Congratulations about your girl! Aw! You can put cute dresses and cowgirl boots on her. 

Shan looks _so_ happy. I'm happy for your whole family. Still planning on being in Virginia for awhile?


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

Hondo said:


> Had to comment on the quoted snippet. But what would you do if it was revealed that you both were already perfect?


I'm a christian, so live by the philosophy that I am not a complete and perfect work until I've reached the end and go to be with Jesus. This applies to all areas of my life, especially horses. There is always something that can be improved. This is something that I have noticed all great horsemen/women have in common.

Once you become prideful and say "I know everything. There is nothing that can be improved on myself.", that is where you will falter. Horsemanship is a constant journey of learning and self improvement. No one person can ever know everything or be completely perfect. Once you are no longer humble and open to being wrong or learning new things, that is typically where a person begins making a lot of mistakes and often being unintentionally and unknowingly harmful.

If there is one thing horses, and one mustang in particular, have taught me, it's to remain humble!


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

horseylover1_1 said:


> Congratulations about your girl! Aw! You can put cute dresses and cowgirl boots on her.
> 
> Shan looks _so_ happy. I'm happy for your whole family. Still planning on being in Virginia for awhile?


Heehee, I really want one of those adorable english riding outfits for little kids. So cute!

Shan does look great. Despite not really being able to get to know the BO in person, I have a lot of peace about her being where she is. My plan is to ask for updated pictures each month after I pay board (always the best time to approach someone for a favor is after you've given them money lol) to keep track of her condition. So far, BO has been awesome. Super accommodating. She's even holding on to my massive amounts of tack for me. Well, it's not as much as I imagine someone like @gottatrot has :razz: but still quite a bit.

We are planning on being here in VA until next spring. I probably won't be able to see Shan at all during that time. It works out though. By that time the baby will be at a good age for sitters (~8 months), and not too far off from walking around riding double with me. DH and I both love animals. I'm hoping baby inherits at least the horse bug!

I will admit that I am getting very attached to this area. The cost of living is actually about the same, even cheaper, than where we were living in AZ. I keep daydreaming about maybe making the move here permanent and moving Shan here, finding some land somewhere. But I'm pretty much keeping those daydreams to myself as that is too far away to be making such plans with our kind of lifestyle.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

gottatrot said:


> Congrats on having a girl!! Good to hear Shan is settling in so well. You do look pretty in real life, some people don't look as great in photos. My sister has a friend who looks beautiful in photos but doesn't look as great in real life, LOL.


Thanks! You are so sweet.

I think I just need to get some professional photos done... AFTER baby comes and my pregnancy caused hormonal acne has gone away. Or maybe just do like BIL's ex and buy a 2 thousand dollar professional camera (just kidding, I'm not doing that). She looks pretty in ALL her photos because of that crazy camera...

That's funny about your sister's friend. Now that I think of it, DH has a cousin kind of like that.


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## Hondo (Sep 29, 2014)

horseluvr2524 said:


> Once you become prideful and say "I know everything. There is nothing that can be improved on myself.", that is where you will falter.


Interesting philosophy. This is your journal so I'll not challenge it, well, except to say that I was raised a Christian and have been baptized in both the Baptist and Catholic churches, and attended Sunday School all through my youth etc etc.

While there is plenty said about not being prideful and about being humble, I do not recall anything taught, to me at least, about the need for improvement. In fact, I was taught we were created in the image of God. That would seem to fall pretty close to perfect.

The teachings I recieved were to simply obey the commandments and love the Lord.

So when I asked the question about what would a person do if they viewed themselves as perfect, I really didn't mean to suggest they would know everything and so on.

But I certainly see how what I said could have been read that way.

Sorry.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

Hey guys. It's been a long time, hasn't it? Hope you all had an excellent summer! I have thought of my HF friends often over the past couple months and have found some time to return to you all and write the obligatory long update post.

Shan is doing well. I haven't seen her since our road trip to VA but I get monthly picture updates from the barn owner. She takes excellent care of her. The photos at the bottom were the last ones I got from a couple months ago. Unfortunately the barn owner was in a terrible motorcycle accident with her SO. She made it out alive but ... he did not. :frown_color: She has had help with the horses (her sister lived on the property with her anyway) so thankfully a barn move wasn't necessary. I felt/feel bad about being so far away that I can't come to help. I can't imagine going through something like that. I've sent some extra funds since that's really the only way I can help right now, which she appreciated. Her recovery is going well.

*Birth Story Below. Will bold at end in case you want to skip.*

Our daughter was born ON her due date, August 26th (when does that ever happen lol). It was a natural birth outside of the hospital at a freestanding birth center. I had been up late playing RPG games with my DH and BIL. Finally got to bed at 2:30 AM. I flopped back onto the bed and heard/felt "POP! POP!" I called my midwife while simultaneously running to the bathroom and tried to find out if she thought that my water had broken like I was thinking it had. Since I wasn't contracting yet, she told me to wait and call her back if something changed. I called her back twenty minutes later as I was DEFINITELY contracting. She told us to time contractions and call her back in an hour. By the time 40 minutes had passed my contractions were hard and fast, 3.5 minutes apart. We texted her the info and she said to come to the birth center. We arrived there about 4:50 AM. By this time my contractions were very hard and they left my legs shaking as they came and went. I was ... demanding ... the birth tub (hot water is a natural way to provide pain relief). One of the midwives went to fill it. Meanwhile I was in the shower and getting to the point where walking and standing was no longer realistic. I heard one of the midwives say "There's no time to get the tub ready, we have to get the bed ready." I was upset by this news. But a few minutes later, DH and a midwife helped me to the bed. It was a hard and painful labor. I had no pain relief, natural or otherwise. The labor tea I had prepared I wasn't able to keep down, and there wasn't any time to prepare the birth tub. (I had decided against an epidural because of I wasn't willing to accept the possible side effect of life long back problems).

At 6:04 AM after 3.5 hours of labor, our daughter was born. She weighed 6 lbs 12 ounces and was 20" long, and perfectly healthy. So my labor was very hard as my contractions came fast and there was no time to rest between them, but it was very short, for which I am grateful, and I had no tearing or other birth related injuries. The midwives and birth center were amazing. Although they didn't afford me access to drugs for pain relief (which I decided I didn't want anyway), they provided a beautiful, intimate, homey experience. I didn't feel uncomfortable or violated or unnecessarily pressured as I have felt and would have felt at a hospital.
One thing I find interesting to note: my daughter Aria didn't cry at birth. They placed her on my chest and she began to squirm and make what I call "monkey sounds."

Aria has grown fast and gets more alert each day. I find it fascinating how fascinated I am by watching her learn to use her hands and hold a rattle and essentially learn what it is to be human. It's a lot more interesting than I ever thought it was going to be. A lot of things are different than I thought they were going to be, but everything's good and wonderful. I am thoroughly enjoying parenthood. As someone who always said that I never wanted kids, I honestly feel sad for those who never get to experience parenthood. It is unlike anything else and certainly worth experiencing.

*End of Birth Story*

Current plans are still to be back in Ohio with my four legged baby in the spring. I can't wait to introduce Aria to Shan, hopefully that will be over the holidays. For winter I will be supplementing Shan through Smartpak, consisting of Gleam & Gain, Tri-amino, and a vitamin supplement.


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

Awww, beautiful! Congratulations!!!


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Wow, death, birth, what a heavy update. Aria is beautiful, and Shan looks great.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

Thanks @gottatrot and @whisperbaby22 !! The little stinker sure has grown on me, despite having changed an innumerable amount of very, very messy diapers lol. 

One other birth related thing I have been thinking about and wanting to comment on ... Most of what you see portrayed on TV (and some women are like this, it's true) is that once the baby is born the mother has a sudden rush of emotion and is crying and holding the baby and just overcome with love. For me, it wasn't like that. The midwife put her on my chest and I felt her squirm and make noise, and I basically thought "ok, she's alive, she's breathing," and laid back with my eyes closed and tried to come to the terms of everything that had just happened, that the pain had finally stopped, and that _I_ was alive and _I_ was breathing. I was in what I would call a state of shock, like one experiences after breaking a bone or concussing their head. And for several hours after, I felt drained emotionally ... monotone or neutral is how I would describe my feelings at that time. I certainly felt an instinct to protect and care for Aria immediately, but those overwhelming feelings of love and adoration took a day to begin happening, and then grew from there. After a few weeks once all the pain was gone, those emotions of love were overflowing. And now I can't hardly stand to listen to myself saying all that ridiculous baby talk/baby voice just to coax a smile out of her lol. My friend said she had a similar experience after her labor. Just basically "ok, she's alive, now leave me alone. I just want to rest now."

:gallop:

Got some new pictures of Shan today! I was glad to see her still in good health. She needs some extra nutrition to help that topline and other musculature (hence the smartpak), but weight wise she looks great I think. It's so hard being so far away and not being able to go and see for myself that she is doing well and being cared for. But the BO is awesome, she really is. She's even using one of her extra blankets to put on Shan for the winter because the light canvas one I had isn't appropriate for a midwestern winter. I honestly don't think I've ever had a BO this trustworthy, this nice, and this caring. God really does provide in the most amazing ways!

Here's the little fuzzbutt lol. In the picture with two horses, she's on the left.


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## horseylover1_1 (Feb 13, 2008)

Aww! I can't believe I am just now catching up to your journal! It's in my subscriptions but it didn't pop up on the top for some reason.. I've not been on here much recently though. Anywho.

I enjoyed reading about Aria's "grand entrance" and you sound like such a trooper for not having any pain relief during your labor! I can't imagine! I'm sorry it was hard & painful but glad to hear that everyone is healthy and happy. When I found out how an epidural was administered, I was shocked with how many women choose to have one - especially making the decision beforehand. I can see where if you're in a lot of pain at the time of labor, you'd be willing to do just about anything to relieve it. But... to make the pre-meditated, conscious decision to put a huge needle in your spine is just frightening to me. I guess everyone is different. I am not a needle person, though...

I'm so happy that Shan is in good hands. Summer will be here before you know it. And OMG, that is SO sad about your barn owner's significant other. I'm glad she is OK, but wow.. it would be very hard to go on after that.


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