# Re-beginner getting frustrated



## horsebraid (Apr 22, 2012)

Okay this is sorta long. And..it's kinda all over the place. So if you don't want to read it all, and just skim, that's okay. But I feel like I have to write this all so someone can understand why I'm so frustrated. 

So, I just recently gotten back into actual riding. I first started lessons when I was in high school. I took lessons for a year from a world champion barrel racer, and she was so amazing. She was not easy on her students, but I liked that. I knew if she told me I was doing something right, or I was doing a good job that she really meant it, and wasn't just going easy on me out of pity. So, I only took lessons for a year because at that point I was a senior in high school and was taking AP classes and I didn't have time for it sadly. I regret that decision, so much now. 

A few years ago, my mom and I got back into horses - and we now own two with a foal on the way. However, something happened between now and when I first started riding at sixteen. I got..._the fear._ You know, mortality. Somehow I grew up, and I realized how dangerous horses are and I eventually became terrified. The horses my mom bought have beautiful bloodlines, but they were not trained. So I never got back into riding. I learned how to handle them, somewhat. Enough so they could stand tied, behave for the farrier decently (something i'm still battling with) and get their shots, etc. But anything more than that, I was terrified. Like shaking in my boots, on the verge of anxiety attacks, and tears. I almost all-together threw in the towel, because I was convinced that I could never get over this. I didn't belong in the horse world. Fear was keeping me from the thing that made my heart so full and full of bliss. 

In January I moved, and moved my horses into boarding. My gelding is under saddle, but still very green. He's doing great with his trainer! Still big problem with the feet, but definitely improving. 

However, my riding. I'm not riding Cowboy because a green horse with a green rider could be a deadly combination. I'M NOT THAT STUPID! So I'm riding other horses at the barn, getting free lessons from my trainer and the lady who I pay to keep my horses there. They've both become family, and they really really want to see me get over this horrible fear. I'm doing good, according to them. Once I'm up on the horse, I feel like flying. I feel alive. I feel like this is my highest, happiest moment and nothing could ever measure up to right now. But my form is AWFUL! I don't know if I'm just paying more attention to it now that I'm grown, or what. But it's really starting to **** me off. I'm starting off from scratch mind you. I think I use too much leg work when I'm turning, and I can't keep the horse in a trot. And let's not even address the fact that I can't post in rhythm with the horse. (I remember this being really hard for me when I was first learning too..)

Are there any re-beginners out there? I would hate to say..well I just don't have it anymore. I was told when I was younger that I was such a natural for it. I was my instructor's "barrel racing prodigy" and now I'm just hopeless. I hope it gets easier. Even when I don't have a lesson (like tomorrow) I'm going to be practicing. From the time I stopped lessons and when I restarted recently...it had been 10 year since I was on a horse. I don't need to become a champion in the ring. I want to ride correctly and just have fun!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

YOu need a hefty helping of FUN!!! you need to get on a good steady horse, go out on the trails and just ride for fun, no eye at all on what you will learn out of it. Just go out and see what the horse has in store for you, and have fun! it will boost your self confidence hugely. If you lived near me, I'd put you on Mac and we'd go for a scoot int he woods and you'd be laughing and relaxing and ready to let loose .

You cannot recapture the past. So, since you have physically started over, let yourself mentally start over. Maybe you are nto meant to be a barrel racer. Try some other disciplines, you might find a better match .


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## rubyred (Apr 27, 2012)

I feel your pain, I am currently going through a similar issue and I understand your fear and frustration. The way I was able to over come the fear was to learn to have fun with my girl. I think what helped me get past the fear was I had to forget about all the different things I should be doing and just focus on her and having fun. Trail riding with a couple of other people and play games with one of my friends and her horses really helped that. I still get nervous when sage tosses her head snorts or speeds up but because I learned how to have fun with her I can recall those times and relax a little.
Also I am going to tell you what a very wise lady on here told me stop being so hard on yourself. Focus on the here and know and forget about what you knew in the past and are having issues with now. Doing that has made my last few riding sessions a heck of alot easier on me and my horse. I hope this helped


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## Ian McDonald (Aug 24, 2011)

I came back to riding after a year in a wheelchair with a badly broken leg (from motorcycle riding). Because of what I'd been through with that, I was scared as hell getting back on a horse and I rode for three years before I started to get over it. Part of it was that I had to actually fall at times and find out that not every fall is a disaster. Most aren't. Also, there is no way that I've ever found to just snap out of your fear. I know it wasn't that way for me. I clawed my way out of it one day, one ride, one tiny little victory at a time. It requires having a stronger desire to be a rider than the fear of being hurt, though. I would even characterize it as a consuming desire. Without that, you may as well forget it. No sane person would subject themselves to so much risk otherwise.

I also agree with tinyliny. I also believe that it's best to learn to enjoy the process and I wish I had learned that sooner than I did. I think I'd have saved myself a lot of stress. ;P


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## kait18 (Oct 11, 2011)

I love what tiny said!!! go out and have fun !!! thats why we all have horses is because of the joy it gives us. 
as for "the fear" you mentioned is that only when working with your horses or with all horses?? 

i would also not get all worked up about position and form at the moment. i would just try to reconnect and handle safe broke horses to boost your confidence and once you get confidence usually everything else follows shortly after...of course outside help from instructors is very helpful


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

First, Congrats on rejoining the world of crazy horse people!  Don't be so hard on yourself. We all have our confidence shaken and feel our mortality at some point. 

I agree with others, at this point look to have fun and worry about equitation/form later. I have an adult student currently that is very similar. She isn't ready to leave the arena (she is much more nervous in the open) The biggest thing that has helped her is for me to ride with her vs walking/standing in the arena. At this point we do a lot of ride and talk, I could even tell you what grade her granddaughter got on last week's spelling test  When we do that, she relaxes and forgets to worry about how she is doing. We also do a lot of follow the leader. I set a full show trail course in my outdoor and I go first, then she will go. The first time she did the trail gate without changing hands, she was so excited and proud that we went to the local watering hole and had a glass of wine in our filthy, stinky barn clothes. 

Keep riding the good quiet, well broke horses and let them boost your confidence. Good luck and keep us posted!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MN Tigerstripes (Feb 20, 2009)

Just relax and enjoy yourself. Don't worry about perfect form and keep riding the calm school horses. For now that should be your goal. Trying to force your form to be "perfect" at this point is just going to make you tense and make it difficult to enjoy the ride.

I'm a re-rider (5 years or so off), when I re-started I went for a long long trail ride with a friend on her slowest horse. Went back to the house, had a bunch of wine, caught up, and liquid courage led us to have some fun and take the horses swimming. Getting my courage back took longer than that, but I tried not to be so hard on myself (or my horse). 

The horse I bought (4 months into re-riding) was a twittery, nervous, rearing wreck of a green horse. It's taken the 2 of us almost 4 years (with time off for injuries and school) to become the team we are today. It was probably a mistake to buy him, but with time, reading, and lots of patience (for both of us) we are a pretty darn good team. Ideally we both would've had lessons from a more experienced partner, at least we would've gotten there sooner.  So just relax and enjoy the experience, you'll get there and probably quicker than I did because you're being a lot smarter about it.


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

Don't worry. That fear will morph into just a healthy respect of what can (but mostly likely won't) happen, because you'll be less likely to ride recklessly. When fear does not paralize you, it saves your butt. Eventually the fun of riding will override the fear. Just stay within your comfort zone. One day you'll wake up and want to go for a good romp in the woods!


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

MyBoyPuck said:


> Don't worry. That fear will morph into just a healthy respect of what can (but mostly likely won't) happen, because you'll be less likely to ride recklessly. When fear does not paralize you, it saves your butt. Eventually the fun of riding will override the fear. Just stay within your comfort zone. One day you'll wake up and want to go for a good romp in the woods!


You've just described what has happened to me over the last year and a half.


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## JadenAndGagesMom (Apr 27, 2012)

I'm a re-beginner too, I just bought my first horse on Friday. I am so thankful that she is not nearly as green as me. She has tons of experience and she is so calm and gentle. Don't expect yourself to be a perfect rider, you want to have fun with this. Don't be impatient with yourself. You can do this. The more you ride, the more experience you get and the more you learn. Take it slow  good luck!


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

I write from experience. It's what happened to me too. Spent my first year wondering what was going to go wrong. Fast forward a few years and I'm hauling butt across hay fields with my hair on fire...and I'm 45!


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## Nitefeatherz (Jan 23, 2012)

I think this has happened to everyone at some point. What you need is a good, steady horse that you trust. One that will behave and be responsive. I agree that once I had gotten some of my confidence back (enough to feel ready to try at least) trail rides got quite a bit of my confidence back. Just make sure the horse you get for the trail ride is going to be one you will feel confident on- if you are working out issues and the horse you are riding has issues that need to be worked out it isn't going to be a good combination.


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## BrinkofSunshine (Jan 15, 2012)

I'm a re-beginner too! And, it had been 10 years since I had last been on a horse when I picked up riding again (except for me, the last time was when I was 11!). I have some confidence issues too; sometimes I don't feel like I'm ready for what my trainer tells me to do.. she's even called me a weenie! Although it was in a playful manner. 

Anyway, good luck to you! I know how you feel about getting frustrated- I feel the same way, when I have a lesson that is spent just trying to keep the horse on the rail and listen to me. But I'm sure that with every mishap we have it just teaches us more and more.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Just keep on keeping on! 

As tinyliny beautiful stated: Have fun!

Ride those reliable safe horses and just let your body work it out. Don't worry about form or anything like that. That will come as soon as you let loose and relax. One that is nervous cannot soak up as much as one that is relaxed. 

Everyone struggles with fear at some point in their riding lives. And it will paralyze you if you let it. It isn't bad to fall off, once you've fallen off 8 or more times :lol: at first it can be a little scary but it's nothing to fear!

Like MyBoyPuck said, you will learn to respect it not absorb and reflect it. For me that constitutes getting mad with myself for even thinking about falling off or freezing and bailing. I ride through it, and if I need to bail I bail. For you it might be something else. 


You'll feel much better once you face those fears and just chill.


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## horsebraid (Apr 22, 2012)

I want to thank everyone for responding to my post and giving such great advice! I've been reading all these posts from my phone, I haven't been able to get on a computer and respond until now. (My mare is very close to foaling so I've been a little preoccupied..)

Last weekend when I didn't have a lesson scheduled I saddled up the horse I usually ride, and I just rode here around in the arena by myself and we had a great time.  It was nice just relaxing and having a blast! 

However, I was having trouble with the reins though. For some reason I have to keep reminding myself to pull up and not out. Because when I did it correctly, she would not turn and kept sticking to the wall. I'm talking like I kept getting almost slammed into the wall. And I started getting upset again because I felt like I was the worst rider int he world. But when I talked to the instructor later, she told me it was the horse, not me. She's supposed to be "dead broke" but she's having issues that need worked on so I'm being put on a different horse this weekend. Randi, the horse I was riding, won't back up if you're riding her. She keeps pushing me into the wall no matter how much I guide her and she gets distracted by every. little. thing. But, she's new to the barn so we're trying a different horse for me this weekend. And he's one that's ridden a lot for people that just come up for trail rides that don't really know how to ride, or have never ridden before. 

She wants to take me out on the trail too. Not, really into the woods, I don't know how to explain it...just a short little section that has a small creek and some hills, etc. 

Wish me luck! Sorry this is all over the place, my preggo mare has me all frazzled.


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## Flashboy2011 (Apr 2, 2012)

I normally ride by my self because my instructor for jumping is never available to ride with me... so i never really get told if my jumping position is incorrect. I recently had my father take a video of my jumping this horse that I keep in check and training, since he is used only be a little girl who lets him get away with everything. I noticed many things wrong, and it's because one i am not paying attention, and two i don't have someone to tell me i need to correct the problem. Just have fun, and don't push yourself into trying to be better and better. It can cause pain both you and your horse, or you can put yourself in a dangerous situation and hurt someone, or something. So have fun, relax. Don't think about the past... and don't think about how dangerous the horse is either, the horse can and will sense that, and cause him to become nervous... so just relax and have a fun, safe mind.


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## Radiowaves (Jul 27, 2010)

horsebraid said:


> She wants to take me out on the trail too. Not, really into the woods, I don't know how to explain it...just a short little section that has a small creek and some hills, etc.


I think that's good advice. As long as it's a "close-in" safe trail setting, that's a great idea. When I was young (don't like to think of how long ago THAT was) I used to go to the barn after school and go on long trail rides by myself. It was great and the time in the saddle and time in close connection with my horse was a wonderful way to increase my comfort/skill/ability/etc. Since I was riding alone, I could go jump ditches, race around for no reason, practice lead changes or whatever I wanted to do at the time and no matter what I was doing, the hours in the saddle were adding up the whole time. I miss those days and I occasionally go on trailrides alone (these days) and I still find it very enjoyable. 

Your confidence will come. You'll have "aha!" moments that you'll remember forever. I can remember the first time I ever rode a horse running at stretched-out-full-speed without having to conciously think about the mechanics of staying on, like it was yesterday even though it was 48 years ago! As another poster said, we were tearing across the pasture like our collective hair was on fire and all of a sudden I realized that I was just having fun and the mechanics of it all had become second-nature-enough that it didn't require all of the concious/careful thought that it did before. It was an "aha" moment that I'll never forget, I hope! 

You'll have many of those. What EVER you do, don't quit! Have fun and enjoy the relationship with your horses. THAT's what it's all about for me. When my dear Quarter horse and I are too old to ride, we'll just spend time in the pasture together and it will still be fun....


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

horsebraid said:


> However, I was having trouble with the reins though. For some reason I have to keep reminding myself to pull up and not out. Because when I did it correctly, she would not turn and kept sticking to the wall. I'm talking like I kept getting almost slammed into the wall. And I started getting upset again because I felt like I was the worst rider int he world.


What? Could you explain this a bit more..??


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