# How do you feel about your horse being ridden without your consent?



## WSArabians (Apr 14, 2008)

Personally... I'd probably drag her off my horse, and ask her how she would feel if she came home and found me riding her stud. Then I would make it very clear that under no uncertain terms that if I should EVER catch her on my horse again, it would require a trip to the ER. 
Same thing if someone took my truck. 

Now, had the asked, I would have hashed out some details and probably made a plan. But I'm possessive about my horses (and my truck) and just because of the millions of things that can go wrong, I don't deal with it lightly at all. 

Maybe I would suggest having a quiet, sensible (I don't usually follow that road LOL) talk with the barn owner discussing the liability cases she could suffer from should your horse decide to go bonkers and hurt or kill her. Monetary settlements tend to make people open their eyes a little bit.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Well, the barn owner can't be TOO nice if he's been using your horse for lessons without your permission.

You need to nip this in the bud _now_. In fact, you should have brought down the wrath of God on the BO when you saw him giving a lesson to some stranger on your horse, instead of wimping out and meekly riding as if nothing had happened.

You can bet this girl isn't the only person he's allowing up on your horse. I'll lay odds he's using him as a schoolie all week, in multiple lessons.

I've moved a horse for something like that, and if I weren't caring for them at home now, I'd do it again. Totally, completely inexcusable.


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

No way no how nope nuh uh. Nope. 
My horse would be moved ASAP.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

I'd be certifiable if I caught someone on my horse.......I'd drag them off by the ankle......no word of a lie.:twisted:


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## DeliciousD (Feb 25, 2013)

I would be absolutely livid and would have marched over, taken my horse and asked her to dismount and ordered transport to move the same day!


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## JillValentine (Jun 6, 2013)

Quick update so you better understand why I never said anything, or rather COULDN'T! I'm living in Italy now and am far from fluent in Italian. I'm very sure the girl sensed me being upset since I avoided eye contact and was pretty off with her. 

Also my horse is far from a schooling horse. He is a very big boy with a lot of strength. He is definitely not for a novice rider, so for the yard owner to simply put anyone (I have no idea how good a rider or not this girl is) on my horse is as WSArabians put it, dangerous! 

I also noticed a big healing cut on his forehead, and dried flakey skin (due to not rinsing sweat off after work) on the top of his legs, near the girth. 

Now that I'm taking about it and thinking about it more, I'm feeling more and more upset. When my fiance gets home I'll have a chat with him and tomorrow we'll chat to the yard owner. 

Thank you for your responses and making me not feel crazy for feeling totally unhappy about this.


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## Chevaux (Jun 27, 2012)

This happened to a fellow horsewoman I know. She was boarding her horse at a place and began wondering why the mare seemed tired all the time. Coming out early and discovering marks left from a saddle that wasn't hers confirmed matters. Turns out the BO was charging her full board and using her horse for lessons and that was the end of it for her. 

I think you should get yourself situated to move your horse (in case talks don't go well) then have it out with the BO. If you're not good at oral debate then go for it in writing; send them a letter (registered) or hand it to them. Either way, don't leave it as this is the exact same principle as a horse showing disrespect for you - it must be corrected or matters get worse. Beforehand have it clearly and firmly in mind what you want to say, don't waiver from it, don't compromise it. You can be civil and start your conversation off by saying something like "In view of what happened on (whatever date), I want to clarify my situation here..." then set out your points. 

Best of luck to you and keep us posted as to how things went.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

You're not crazy to be upset; I'd have had a full out meltdown. Language barrier or not, both he and his student would have understood in no uncertain terms that this was unacceptable if it were my horse.


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## texasgal (Jul 25, 2008)

Um, I agree with everyone else ... Not just no, but HAYELLLLLLLLL NO!

As Muppet said.. I would be certifiable .. my blood pressure went up just reading this thread.


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## morganarab94 (May 16, 2013)

Yeah that would'nt have flyed with me...I would talk to the BO asap.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

If it were me, it would not have ended well for that person. I would have yanked the rider off my horse, kept their tack if I wasn't so enraged that I tossed it to the ground and I would be looking for board refunds. My horse would then be moved at their cost immediately.

You have every right to be angry! Do not let the barn owner convince you that they were doing you a favor by keeping your horse in shape. It is your animal and riding requires your permission.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

The rider probably had no idea she was riding him without your permission. That BO sure did though! I agree that he's been used before.
You have every right to be upset.


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## BoldComic (Feb 26, 2012)

If I saw that I would be, what we call "loaded for bear". That is not okay in any way, shape, or form. Not only was she letting someone ride your horse but I assume if she was giving a lesson she was making money off your horse. 

I say the lesson money was yours and, believe me, this would not be happening again!


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I would have gone ballistic. And I'd move my horse as soon as possible.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

I agree with Natisha that the rider probably had no idea that was not a school horse, or that the BO did not have permission to use him. But, as has been said-look around, make arrangements to leave, then talk to the BO and let her know this is totally unacceptable. You can ask for refunds, but I doubt you will get any $$. I would, however, move, no matter what, since you will not be able to trust them, and you need to be able to since there will be times you may not be able to come out.


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

I'd probably see red. No doubt scream at the top of my lungs at the BO and move my horse as quickly as possible, without notice.


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## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

Yep, I wouldn't be angry at the rider, but the instructor. That is absolutely inexcusable and I would demand to know how often the horse was being used and make her reimburse board money.


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## CLaPorte432 (Jan 3, 2012)

Oh hell no! No one, and I mean NO ONE, is allowed on my horses without my permission. Absolutely not. 

i do not even let my own mother ride my horses. Not unless she is going to ride MY way, the way MY horses are trained.

I too would have brought down the wrath of god on those people, and I'd be searching for a new place to move to. This isn't the first time it has happened I'll bet. And it won't be the last.

I'd be upset with the rider, but that instructor, whew, she'd get her head chewed off. Its HER fault that the rider was put on YOUR horse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

I would not tolerate that. I would move my horse, and send the barn owner a bill for use of the horse. You can estimate based on the average work a lesson horse would perform in the amount of time you were not riding.

I would be unable to trust that barn owner in the future.


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## Relentless (Apr 1, 2013)

Ugh, you poor thing. I can relate to feeling a little meek in a situation like this. Although let's get it straight here. I would be absolutely furious. Whoever said the rider probably doesn't know is right. But again, we have no idea what your boarding agreement says, Italian customs, or how they perceive business. Maybe it's a normal thing in Italy?

I know in my world it isn't ok. It's a serious liability and if that girl was hurt, you'd be at fault from a normal person's perspective. Your horse is your property. You didn't agree to lessons and you aren't' getting a discount on board for your horse being utilized in their program. I would speak to the BO ASAP.


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## mollymay (Feb 20, 2013)

This is wrong in so many ways! I would be furious if my BO used my horse without my permission! First your horse could hurt the rider, but also what if the rider had no clue what they were doing and HURT your horse! 
Also personally I have seen this happen- horse, amazing personality and great training is turned into a lesson horse. The horse is obviously smarter then the rider and begins picking up bad habits. One horse I know now when you ask him to stop loping he charges straight to the center of the arena like it's time to be done. Another horse I know was a complete sweetheart and loved other horses, now after a year as a lesson horse beginners let her get away with murder, she kicks at other horses constantly and even a few time at people because they don't get after her for bad behavior. You dont want bad riders corrupting your horse!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Yeah my blood pressure raised reading that post. Absolutely not. My horse is in training. 

I would be ****ed beyond belief if someone put him in a lessons program. That wouldn't be fair to him AT ALL!


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## ponyboy (Jul 24, 2008)

I don't own a horse but if I did this would make me mad.


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## FeatheredFeet (Jan 27, 2010)

When I kept one of my Saddlebreds, at the LAEC, it happened to me.

At the LAEC, horses are kept stalled. My horse was taken out and ridden, every day except Saturday, which was my heavy day at work. He was even taken out on all holidays.

I arrived as usual one Sunday, to find a saddle mark on my horse. A saddle mark? Not in a million years have I ever left a horse like that. Being early Sunday, there were not many people about. However, after asking around, I discovered my then boyfriend, had been trying to impress another girl and had allowed her to ride my horse. He had apparently told her that he owned the horse.

I made sure that the boyfriend was no more and that the gate guards knew to not allow him in from then on. I also had others watch the horse for me, in the hours I was not there.

I don't think I have ever been that angry and I'm quite sure the boyfriend never knew I had such language, in my repertoire!

Lizzie


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## DimSum (Mar 28, 2012)

"*How do you feel about your horse being ridden without your consent?"

*In a word? Homicidal. I'd be checking out other places to board ASAP.


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## Cowgirls Boots (Apr 6, 2011)

Yup. I woulda moved my horse THAT DAY.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Prunella1 (Jun 2, 2013)

First of all, NO is part of any universal language and everyone, especially Italians understand it! I would have been shouting - !NO, NO, NO!! Policia Si!
I think that would have gotten the message across loud and clear and I can
barely speak some spanish.

Then, talk to your embassy because if you are an American living in a foreign country, then, you can at least get some help with this trainer. That should teach them to mess with you or your horse in the future. Adidios!


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## flytobecat (Mar 28, 2010)

If someone borrowed your car and took it for a drive without your permission and parked it where you left it, it would still be theft.
I don't know if I would file charges, but I would be livid and definitely move my horse. I would also tell anyone I knew who had horses about what happened.


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## Oldhorselady (Feb 7, 2012)

Um...NEVER!


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## soenjer55 (Dec 4, 2011)

If I had come to the barn and found this, the earth would split and the heavens would fall from the wrath I'd unleash on that girl, the BO, the instructor... There is no reason, no excuse, nothing to justify them using your horse without your consent. It's not their horse. Period. Even if the girl is innocent, I would make a very big deal out of it just to drive home the fact that you will NOT stand for them stepping on your toes and taking advantage of you and your horse.
IMO, you made it worse by passively letting this go and going about your business. This is essentially your silent consent. I would definitely lay it all out for everyone- your horse is NOT a lesson horse and not a single person but the ones you specify should be dealing with him. I would be loud about it so the other boarders and riders knew where you stood, in case they try it again, too. Make it very clear that they're walking a thin line and if you catch even the slightest wiff of them trying anything like this again, you're going to be out of there and it will be at their expense.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I came home from shopping to find a man I barely knew riding my horse, with all my gear. I told him to get off and stormed inside. About that time hubby came along. The man who'd dismounted asked what I was going to do. "Do? She's getting the gun. You're allowed to shoot horse thieves". As he was walking to his car I grabbed the lunge whip and gave his behind some gawd-awful snaps almost taking off his back pockets. To top it off, I was the bartender at the local watering hole and when he showed up my girls were too busy to wait on him, the entire month.


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## SketchyHorse (May 14, 2012)

You would have to pry my hands off the instructors neck before I committed murder. This doesn't fly with me. Ever. If I didn't tell you that you could crawl up on that animal - then don't even dare. This is coming from someone who's had to let a LOT of people crawl up on her horses because her dad likes to take his buddies wives & kids out to the barn to ride the "horsies." Drives. Me. Crazy. I also don't feel comfortable putting other people on my horses unless I _know_ you can ride & handle yourself. My two mares are not easy rides. One of them looks like she is, but I've owned her for the past 6 1/2 years. I _know _what she's capable of doing. The other mare is just so big & strong that if she wants to have her way - she will. 

Like everyone else said, unless you've got a contract saying the horse can be used for lessons & you're getting either free or discount board, there is no reason the instructor should even remotely THINK it's okay to let someone else ride your horse. I would have a talk or move barns.


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## Nokotaheaven (Apr 11, 2012)

Wow... I would ask the girl to get off and tell her that I did not give her trainer permission to use my horse, as she very likely did not know, she probably actually thinks it's his horse...
Then I would tell him that the next time he touches my horse and I know it, I'm suing him.... That is, if I'm not mad enough to take my horse and walk off the property at that very moment


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

I would be furious too. That's completely unacceptable and very unprofessional.

I would have given the BO and earful and a half, then I would have taken whatever steps necessary to move my horse ASAP. You'll never be able to trust those folks again.


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## soenjer55 (Dec 4, 2011)

Saddlebag said:


> I came home from shopping to find a man I barely knew riding my horse, with all my gear. I told him to get off and stormed inside. About that time hubby came along. The man who'd dismounted asked what I was going to do. "Do? She's getting the gun. You're allowed to shoot horse thieves". As he was walking to his car I grabbed the lunge whip and gave his behind some gawd-awful snaps almost taking off his back pockets. To top it off, I was the bartender at the local watering hole and when he showed up my girls were too busy to wait on him, the entire month.


Wait... so a complete stranger hopped onto your property, grabbed your horse, saddled him up, and went for a joy ride? Forget the whip, I'd have given him a pop with the gun that he'd NEVER forget...


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## tinaev (Dec 2, 2012)

Yeah, that is not ok. At all. Ever. It's theft, pure and simple. You need to speak to the barn owner asap about what happened. As another poster said, "no" is pretty much universal! If you don't have anywhere to move the horse I'd suggest investing in a security camera. And start varying your schedule.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I think we all expressed our disgust at the situation. What are you going to do about it? I understand you have a language barrier, I would pay someone to tell him this. 

Where are you at?


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## Copperhead (Jun 27, 2012)

I had a boarder put her boyfriend on my old arthritic gelding for a personal lesson. She told the BO I allowed her to use the horse and I didn't. He was retired. After a couple more incidents, she was banned from the barn.

I'm glad that my BO is one of the most honest people I know. That would have never happened at my barn. And ontop of that, my horse has quite the reputation at my barn because she was hardly rideable or able to be handled before I came along. They are getting more comfortable with her since her attitude has changed, but they still give her a wide birth.

You need to handle this situation maturely and with a good head on your shoulders. Horse people are the shadiest people I know and they can do dramatic things when approached the wrong way, regardless if whether thy are right or wrong.

I'd find a place to put the horse first before you approach the situation. Then discuss this with the BO as you're loading the animal onto the trailer. If you don't have a board contract you can do whatever you want, wherever you want without giving a 30 day warning. If you have a contract, it's been breeched and you can explain this as you're loading the animal.

Keep a cool head. Don't explode. Take away the BO's money maker and tell him/her exactly why. Odds are, no one has confronted the BO about this in the past so he thought he could get away with it.


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## Palomine (Oct 30, 2010)

Move horse. And don't be surprised if he doesn't say you owe him money, or some such. But get horse out of there ASAP. Or you might not have a horse to move.

Never ever trust someone when it comes to your animals.


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## JCnGrace (Apr 28, 2013)

I'd probably be in jail for assaulting the BO.


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## JillValentine (Jun 6, 2013)

AlexS said:


> I think we all expressed our disgust at the situation. What are you going to do about it? I understand you have a language barrier, I would pay someone to tell him this.
> 
> Where are you at?


My fiance is Italian, so he is going there this morning to have a chat with the BO. I asked my fiance to first phone the private property we previously held Corman on to see if we could move him back there immediately, if need be. We just paid (3 days ago) our monthly rent which isn't cheap, I feel a little ill on the thought of losing it, but my horse's safety and my respect cost more. Nothing he says can justify him taking it upon himself to allow other people to ride my horse. I just cannot imagine him for a second letting other people ride any of the other private horses, or any of those owners being okay with it. Maybe because of the Language difference he thought it okay to be completely disrespectful of me and my property *shrug*. Anyway, I could never trust him again after this which is very sad. I will let you guys know the outcome.


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## LostDragonflyWings (Feb 1, 2012)

If that happened to me, the rider would be removed from the horse, the police would be called out, my horse would be moved to a new facility, and the old barn owner would be sent a bill for usage of my horse and retraining costs. I would be beyond livid.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

Soenjer, yes, the man came on our property, removed the horse from the paddock, took my gear out of the shed. I could have called the police but I think I dealt with it in a better way. When I say I nearly tore his pockets off with the lunge whip, it's true. I'd been practising with it for several years, just for hellery, and got so I could pick the petals off a flower. So back pockets and his butt were an easy target.


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## Hunter65 (Aug 19, 2009)

Saddlebag said:


> Soenjer, yes, the man came on our property, removed the horse from the paddock, took my gear out of the shed. I could have called the police but I think I dealt with it in a better way. When I say I nearly tore his pockets off with the lunge whip, it's true. I'd been practising with it for several years, just for hellery, and got so I could pick the petals off a flower. So back pockets and his butt were an easy target.



Haha I can just picture it! People are unbelievable. I would be absolutely furious if that happened at my barn. My BO won't even put Hunter in the field without texting me.


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

A total NO from me. I'm very possessive about my horses.
I wonder what the insurance implications would be?


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Keep us updated. I hope that the discussion with him goes well today and you're able to come to some kind of agreement (like him refunding your board you just paid) without too much trouble.


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## JillValentine (Jun 6, 2013)

Hey guys,

Okay, so it turns out the way someone had mentioned. He thought he was doing me a favour since my horse hadn't been ridden in a few days. He told me that the girl who was riding him, is also a private boarder. He asked her not to ride her horse that day and if she wouldn't mind riding mine (since I'm sick). He also told me she is upset with him because of what happened. I told him I really don't care how she feels or whether she is upset with you or not. Fact is I do not want my horse ridden without my permission. Anyway, he said he made a big mistake, he really thought he was doing a good thing and now he has two boarders upset with him. He also promised this was the first time, and only his son had previously ridden Corman. He also apologised for the cut under his forelock and swore he hadn't seen it.

Some might think me naive, but I believe him. As I first mentioned he is a good man and he has helped me a lot over the last few months, so I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and stay on as a boarder. However this doesn't mean I've put my guard down. Both my fiance and I will show up there at random hours and make sure everything is as it should be. Also today I will be buying a tack box so my saddle and bridle aren't accessible. If anything of the sort happens again he will be moved immediately.

I want to thank everyone for their responses and thoughts. I really appreciated all of them.

Happy riding!


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## CLaPorte432 (Jan 3, 2012)

good for you for standing up for yourself and your horse.

i think youve made a good choice and hopefully it doesnt happen again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

I'm glad that it all worked out without too much drama.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I don't think you are naive, only you were there and can have an opinion about whether or not he is telling the truth. It does sound that he realizes he made a mistake, and as long as you are comfortable with that, that's all that matters.


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## Sharpie (May 24, 2009)

Haven't read all the replies. Here's my two cents.

It depends.

I have a very good instructor back home. I love him and he's fabulous. He has one lesson horse. Sometimes when I go to ride with him, I ride another of his students' horses. I assume that is part of his agreement with them and he has permission to use them in lessons. On the flip side, if I boarded where he is, I'd be thrilled to have him use my horse for up to daily lessons (even though my horse is so far from a schoolmaster it's funny) because I KNOW he would not allow anyone to mistreat or mistrain my horse, and my horse would likely be better for it.

Now, if we had never talked about it, and I showed up or just found out, I would be mad, just like you! But so long as it was agreed-upon beforehand and there was a limit of number or length of rides so as not to wear my horse out too much, it could work out well.

ETA: I would expect something in return though, probably free lessons or reduced board for me.


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## The Green Cowgurl (Jun 8, 2013)

Hi all, new to the forum. 

I'd like to comment that I would be very upset if this happened to me. I would have the horse and any other horse I own moved asap. I wouldnt bother with anything else because ultimately it would be a waste of time. I'm sure the BO knew you weren't happy.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

FeatheredFeet said:


> When I kept one of my Saddlebreds, at the LAEC, it happened to me.
> 
> At the LAEC, horses are kept stalled. My horse was taken out and ridden, every day except Saturday, which was my heavy day at work. He was even taken out on all holidays.
> 
> ...


Is this a common thing amongst slimeball cheating b/f's? A good friend of mine had the exact same thing happen to her. She came home after a weekend show to find her stallion with saddle sweat marks. She asked around and found out what her b/f had been trail riding with a lady. She parted ways with Mr. Slimeball.


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

I don't think it's naive, and while my gut reaction would be to freak out and get super angry if someone rode my horse, I think you probably handled it the best way.

In your situation you have a language barrier, and you had recently had an arrangement where he worked your horse. He apologised and stopped it immediately. I'd be wary for the future, but if in all other ways it's worked out well I'd probably stay and see what happens.


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## Fahntasia (Dec 19, 2011)

If anyone rode my mare without my permission, baby Jesus coming down from heaven could not save them from my wrath!! No way, no how, would that be acceptable. Nobody touches my horse without my consent.

I would move barns a.s.a.p. There is no excuse in the world they could possibly make that would be acceptable.


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