# Golden Horse is a bit broken update



## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Denny, the progress you've made (both physically and emotionally) after such a horrendous fall is truly remarkable. It will take time, but you'll be just fine and you have no idea how happy it makes me to know that you're riding again.

:hug: Hugs to you and next time you see him, give the big gray goofball a scratch in his favorite place for being such a wonderful parter to help you.


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

You're already back on a horse, so that is good! That physical therapy stuff can work wonders, so keep at it as long as you can. Do they encourage you to do the exercises at home also? With all that damage, it will take awhile to get things back how they were & it really takes effort on your part so, just keep at it. Hope the healing keeps going well.


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## rideverystride (Jul 19, 2013)

That sounds painful =/. At least you are feeling well enough to ride. Hopefully you will recover quickly .


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## Chevaux (Jun 27, 2012)

I had no idea of the extent of your injuries. I think people have come out of motorcycle accidents on the highway with less damage:shock:. Are you sure that horse didn't grab you as you lay unconscious and slam you up against a wall? Oh well, you're back in the saddle again and that's all that matters.


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## VickiRose (Jul 13, 2013)

Ouch! But good to hear you're on the mend.


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## Corporal (Jul 29, 2010)

I'm glad to hear that you are mending, too. **hugs**
Not to make light of your injuries but a study discovered that the antibodies produced from a bone breakage prevents ovarian cancer, so you probably WON'T get that!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

smrobs said:


> D
> 
> :hug: Hugs to you and next time you see him, give the big gray goofball a scratch in his favorite place for being such a wonderful parter to help you.


I will do that, so far he is such a Godsend for me, it's going to take many miles before I totally trust him, but he is such a good horse.



Cacowgirl said:


> Do they encourage you to do the exercises at home also? With all that damage, it will take awhile to get things back how they were & it really takes effort on your part so, just keep at it.


Oh yes, I have a bunch of exercises to do at home, and they are the ones that are going to make the most difference, and I am being pretty good at doing them I have put post it notes around the house, so when I come across one I have to do the exercise written on it, means that I get to do a few reps several times a day.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Chevaux said:


> I had no idea of the extent of your injuries. I think people have come out of motorcycle accidents on the highway with less damage:shock:. Are you sure that horse didn't grab you as you lay unconscious and slam you up against a wall? Oh well, you're back in the saddle again and that's all that matters.


LOL, I spoke to the First Responder who looked after me a couple of months back, and he said he knew it was bad because I was lying in an impact crater, and the ground was hard. 



Corporal said:


> Not to make light of your injuries but a study discovered that the antibodies produced from a bone breakage prevents ovarian cancer, so you probably WON'T get that!


Lol, that is a positive, and also while I was so damaged on the top half I developed some awesome leg muscles, which I have tried to keep working.


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## Sahara (Jul 23, 2010)

Corporal said:


> I'm glad to hear that you are mending, too. **hugs**
> Not to make light of your injuries but a study discovered that the antibodies produced from a bone breakage prevents ovarian cancer, so you probably WON'T get that!


I would like to read that study. Got a link?


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

You are one tough b----cookie.... TOUGH COOKIE!


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## cowgirl4753 (Aug 3, 2012)

Sorry to hear you got broken, glad to hear your on the mend and getting back up in the saddle!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hemms (Apr 18, 2012)

Wow, Golden. At least you do it well, when you do do it! 

If you ever find a wall or plateau with that physio, I cannot recommend an Osteopath enough. ...not sure what you have for them out there, but it's worth the hunt!

Good luck and keep that chin up, warrior!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

count me amoung those who think your progress, considering the horrible experience, has been marvelous, and I truly am impressed with your fortitude.


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## Bellasmom (Jun 22, 2011)

Wow....and I've been whining about my knee replacement! I do get a little of what you are going thru; my therapist feels I'm making good progress, I feel like I'm just stuck & wondering if I'll ever get back to my former level of functioning. Hang in there!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

farmpony84 said:


> You are one tough b----cookie.... TOUGH COOKIE!


That's me, I think some people call it stubborn!



hemms said:


> Wow, Golden. At least you do it well, when you do do it!
> 
> If you ever find a wall or plateau with that physio, I cannot recommend an Osteopath enough. ...not sure what you have for them out there, but it's worth the hunt!


My mum always said if it's worth doing it's worth doing well! Even I am impressed now.

So far, just a couple of sessions in, I think this physio is a gem, some are better than others, and this one, well more of a whole body approach, not just the bent side. If I get stuck I will have a look maybe, I have massage on Chiropractor also in the list of possibles.



tinyliny said:


> count me amoung those who think your progress, considering the horrible experience, has been marvelous, and I truly am impressed with your fortitude.


Thanks, sometimes you have to stop and count your blessings rather than whining about the limitations 

OH and say THANK GOODNESS I was wearing my helmet, which cracked, but at least I only have dizzy spells, rather than anything worse.



Bellasmom said:


> Wow....and I've been whining about my knee replacement! I do get a little of what you are going thru; my therapist feels I'm making good progress, I feel like I'm just stuck & wondering if I'll ever get back to my former level of functioning. Hang in there!


Yes we will get it all back, or we will at least keep trying right! It takes time and repetition, but hey, we are trying, and if we are trying we are winning!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Another update...still moving forward:

Last weekend, I got pulled off if my own horse, I was tense, and nervous, he was a PIG, it wasn't pretty, so Cassie got me to get off, and poor Gibbs had another rider, who put him through is paces and gave him an attitude adjustment:shock: We arranged for A to ride him a couple of times for me just to get him straight.

Last Thursday I had a break through, strangely it was at physio therapy, she asked me a question about riding, she hit one of those hot topic buttons and ended up in tears. Long story short a bit of digging, and we got to the guilt I feel for failing with Ben. We worked through that for a while, multi talented therapist I have, and I went from there to the barn to ride.

Once again long story short, I rode my horse, I had someone stood near while I mounted, but they weren't holding my stirrup, or Gibbs, just there, and I rode...I don't mean sitting there hardy breathing, tensely holding him in, but being able to smile, breathe, talk and SMILE, yes I know I said it twice but it is important. I walked and trotted him, still working up to the canter/lope but we will get there. It was so great to be able to respond with an instant "Knock it off" when he was being a pig, I had a great ride.

I am a work in progress, I still have a long journey both physically and mentally before I am all better, but it is great to be able to actually enjoy being on a horse again.


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## flytobecat (Mar 28, 2010)

So glad you are doing better. I didn't realize how bad it was or know your helmet cracked. Can't believe your back in the saddle so soon after something like. Way to go.


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## cakemom (Jul 4, 2010)

As long as you are still working and making progress, then being a work in progress is just the thing to be!! I'm proud of you girl!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## VickiRose (Jul 13, 2013)

Sounds like it went awesomely well!


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## jamesqf (Oct 5, 2009)

Golden Horse said:


> ...so Cassie got me to get off, and poor Gibbs had another rider, who put him through is paces and gave him an attitude adjustment:shock:


Poor Gibbs, though :-( I want to hear his side of the story!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

jamesqf said:


> Poor Gibbs, though :-( I want to hear his side of the story!


Coming up very soon, I promise


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

WHOOT, more progress..

We had a goal of being able to lope by the end of the month, Cassie had asked a couple of times if I wanted to try, and we had gone from "*&$# NO" through "Mmmmm not today" to me deciding that we were going to try it on Saturday. 

Friday I had a mini melt down, couldn't remember how to even ask for a lope, or how it would feel, couldn't play it in my head because there was nothing there. I got some online input, and got over myself, and set off Saturday am with the intention of cantering,

AND


Well it was by no means pretty..

Cassie walked me through it all, got me practising the ask at the walk, then had the other girl in the arena do some transitions for me to watch, very very crisp and elegant...unlike Gibbs and I when we were up.

A combination of his default setting being "Do we have to?" and my errr 95% commitment to the transition led to lots of faster unbalanced trotting, lots of grabbing the horn, and general ugliness, so we quit on that rein.

Changed the rein, and started again, same sort of result, until the rider kicked in, and said DARN IT HORSE we ARE going to lope, so I backed up the leg with the other 5% commitment that was missing, and a couple of good healthy clouts with the end of the reins, and YES, we have a canter, and it is totally awesome, and I am smiling, and breathing, and enjoying it, got about 3 laps before we fell out. Tried again the other way, mixed results, hard to get him to take off, and when we did we were on the wrong lead, but that wasn't important at that time, no so comfortable for anyone obviously, but we were loping for sure!

So technical merit, hardly warranted a score, but satisfaction off the scale, and hope for the future very high..:thumbsup::clap:


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Congrats! Isn't it just the greatest feeling to get that canter going again? When I started riding again about 4 years ago (after a pretty long break), for some reason I just had a mental block to doing it. My then-instructor had a beautiful schoolmaster dressage mare, put me on the longe, and made me do it. She tolerated me holding on to the front of the saddle, white knuckled, for a couple of weeks, but then she made me start riding, not just holding on. I still remember that feeling of pushing away the fear and letting myself enjoy it.


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Woot! :happydance:


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Amazing GH-keep up the good work. That confidence is a tough thing to get back and you are making great strides!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

This weekend was truly awesome, had a lesson riding one handed all through, concentrating on forward, so squeeze to ask for the walk, if no reaction, sharp crack with the end of my rein and let him go. It was great, lots of energy, from both of us.Then despite me rehearsing in my head a million reasons why I wouldn't lope this week, it was my turn to lope, one handed, and by h e c k we did it. 

For the first time in for ever I really felt like a rider, it was fun, and Gibbs is so comfortable. It was a great lesson as well, I shared it with another lady who is trying to get her confidence back after a fall, her horse is beautifully trained and very very light in her hand. She has been causing problems by being nervous of trusting her horse and over correcting.

The lesson was very interesting, showing how for me, just letting go of his head and driving from behind to produce energy made a good ride, for her just lightening up her hold made her horse relax and do great. They both arrived at the same point from different directions, and both riders were as proud and pleased as punch!


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## hemms (Apr 18, 2012)

WONDERFUL! Feels SO good to get your stride back!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Latest update..

Today I met another milestone and went to a Reining Clinic, I set it as a goal back in February and I made it:lol: I was a bit worried as Gibbs was sidelined, so I was going to have to ride a strange horse, now bear in mind I have only ridden Gibbs, and a short ride on friends mare, since the accident. Also bear in mind that I hadn't done any loping for a year or so before the accident, so the notion of me reining is crazy, but I wanted to try, and it was on my to do list, so off I went.

I rode the baby sitter Bailey in the morning, 16.1hh of very patient stock paint. I managed to get my legs kind of behaving, so was rewarded with a pair of ball spurs to wear, that made life easier. The hands though are a problem still, a combination of very English wanting to ride in contact, and being nervous means that I keep taking up more contact than needed. I did start making progress on my hands, finished the morning on a big smile.

After lunch I was very excited to be upgraded to a very nice little reining horse, I have seen him run and he is awesome, sadly though my skill level is not at his yet, and he was getting upset with me and those **** heavy hands, as he got upset the nerves kicked in, and it was getting worse. So we called it quits and I got back on the ever patient Bailey, that was better, he is in my comfort zone, and is far more forgiving of rider error. 

We worked on all elements of the pattern during the day, and ended up running a full pattern, mine wasn't pretty, but there were good points in it, not many, it felt better than it looked, but here you go






We had far better spins in the morning, when we got the pattern he wouldn't do it at all, and Carol says it is the first thing he quits on. Overall I am delighted that I did as much loping as I did, frustrated that I couldn't get on with Lucky, I think he was just plain unhappy with a bigger rider, he was standing 'odd' when we were still, and he and I just were not on the same wave length


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Looking really good Denny!! So glad you had fun


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

If this winter will ever leave we have two more targets to hit

1) Schooling show next weekend, that might be entirely dependant on weather, and getting a hitch fixed onto my truck so I can actually haul horses again.

2) Last weekend in May, our first real show, Western Dressage, only 3 classes, well 6 classes over 2 days, 4 intro level (walk trot)and 2 at Basic level (lope) 

The May Show is a real show, I just got this in the post










My official Bronze Level Membership of Equine Canada, aghhh. This is the real deal, away for 3 days, hotels, etc.....scary stuff.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

your rebound is really impressive! I salute you.


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## cakemom (Jul 4, 2010)

So proud! Wish we could come watch.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

So the hitch was fixed on my truck, late on Friday, and only after a spectacular breakdown on my part, it might of only been a schooling show, but they have been promising to fix that hitch for 4 MONTHS. 

I ended up driving 300 miles just to do a little schooling show, has aimed originally to go from here, but Gibbs is still boarding, and the forecast is so bad that I had to drop him back down last night, or I don't know when I would be able to haul him again.

What went well?

We I had fun, can't speak for the boy, he probably would have preferred to be home eating hay and chilling. He did everything that I asked, and it wasn't until I was driving home that I realized that I hadn't had a scared moment all day, and that is a first :lol:

He gave me some great efforts, did a nice little showmanship pattern, if he could trot in hand we would of done well :wink:There were nice bits all over...BUT

OH my we have a lot of work to do.....the pics and videos are *sigh* disappointing, you know how you know you are fat, but then you see a pic you go "**** I'm a hippo" that's how I feel today, Yes I'm working on it, but aghh just YUK.

I also feel sorry for him because I threw him into to without warming him up properly, and wasn't riding him properly, we need to go back to working on the basics, and get it right. I got a great suggestion from another mate, use a different bit and bridle and put boots on for play days, so he know it is different to the demands of his dressage, it appeals to me, but don't know if it is needed.

So, WP










trail



















Barrels






Reining...yes, this IS meant to be a pattern... 





and his favorite event of the day Cat Herding, he liked Cat Herding


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

Well done! I am impressed, you hauled 300 miles for a schooling show, that's dedication!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

LOL, it's Saskatchewan, everywhere is a long way away!

The original plan was that Gibbs would be home, then it would only be 100 mile round trip, and that is usual, it was still a useful day, well worth the drive.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

True, you have a flat province and no windy, mountainous roads, however, that is a jaunt! I am still impressed.


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## VickiRose (Jul 13, 2013)

I'm no expert, but I think you two looked good together! And you are NOT a hippo, you are merely rubenesque.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Yesterday was a warm up show for the BIG ONE, that comes at the end of the month, and  OH dear we have work to do.....but that's OK.

Yesterday was great because, apart from the issue of mounting, which I had cracked and now is a problem again, I didn't have the jitters at all. I didn't even panic when we were doing the test that included a lope, and I got it wrong and we managed to exit the ring, over the pink flamingo a A...seems that Gibbs has a sweet little jump! So lots of work, I'm really hoping that the 3 day clinic next week will help polish some of the rough spots,but here you go, the best test of the day..


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## Vernette (Mar 2, 2014)

good luck golden horse! My biggest fear is getting thrown off our big QH's. I had a broken left hip, a broken pelvic, and lost my leg from a motorcycle accident. I was 17. It took a year or more before I would ride because I was so scared of getting hurt and dealing with all that pain again I was letting fear ruin my love of riding. Thankfully I got over it. But now I'm much older and I still do not want to rebreak my old injuries. My orthopedic doctor pleaded with me to give up the horses. He said that I would not believe how many people he treats from a fall from a horse. I told him "just shoot me now" You give me hope. Take it a day at a time! Kudos for getting back on the horse.


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

Have you heard the story of 55 year old barrel champion Mary Walker?

She's my hero......and so are you....because you've showed me what's possible when you have enough heart. Yours is the heart of a champion.

Congratulation on your comeback. I just know you're going to do well at the show and look forward to reading your post as you progress!

Go get'em...


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Yes I have read Mary's story, she is quite the inspiration. 

Me, nah not so much, LOL, pig headed, stubborn, maybe, I don't feel inspirational when I have to go get help to get on my horse because he moved, like one leg, I get frustrated with me. Then I take a deep breath and remember how far I have come rather than how far there is to go.

This weekend BIG challenge, 8 hours with a clinician I don't know, with a bunch of people I don't know. I'm scared already, but I'm sure Gibbs isn't, he won't care, so all I have to do is 

A) don't wind him up
B) ask for help when I need it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

The clinic, two weeks ago was a blast, we had fun and learned loads.

Next one, well off to a three day show tomorrow, rather scared, only helped by the fact I haven't even seen Gibbs for 2 weeks. We are seeding here and have been out of the house at 6.30 am, and not in until 10 or 11 pm every day. So I am tired, unprepared, scared. I have never been to a show this big before, never had to stable overnight, no not scared, panicking is more like. 


Aghhhh it seemed like a good idea at the time


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Just breathe, Denny LOL. Slow, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Just remember that you are going there to have fun and you've got an awesome horse to ride. Just remember to ride _your_ horse and _your_ pattern, don't worry about what anyone else is doing. Do the best you can but don't push for better than you've ever done before. Pushing for better is best done at home long before the show. :wink:


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

I'm looking at the ever growing heap of stuff, you would think I'm packing for a months vacation not a 3 day show


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## jmike (Aug 21, 2013)

Golden Horse said:


> I'm looking at the ever growing heap of stuff, you would think I'm packing for a months vacation not a 3 day show


always helps my wife when i tell her to stop, relax, breathe, collect herself, and do 1 thing at a time until it is done

good luck


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

This is all a huge learning curve for me, I keep telling myself that I will learn a lot this time, there is no way that I will have it all right on the first time around. I have thrown myself on the mercy of the group, there are a bunch of us from the same barn, and apologized in advance for if I need to borrow anything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Northernstar (Jul 23, 2011)

I want to wish you the best of luck, Golden Horse!! How wonderful that you have friends from your barn going as well... an excellent support team. _You are_ _an amazing gal doing amazing things_ after so many recent trials. You go, and have fun!


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## Sahara (Jul 23, 2010)

Don't forget the cooler full of liquid courage!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

I'm back from the show, that was a blast, scary, but fun, I posted the pics and story over here http://www.horseforum.com/horse-pictures/awesome-mr-gibbs-goes-showing-423266/


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

Golden,

I've been reading your story (both this and the previous thread), and you are my inspiration. But, I have questions, lots of questions.

Basically, in my case at least, the physical recovery part after a fall is a no-brainer. I mean, pain is there for a reason, and if it hurts, I don't do it. Whatever doesn't hurt, I continue to do without overtiring myself. Logical, right? Well, at least it's been working for me.

OK, so the tough part for me right now is my mental recovery. Until now, I had never been afraid of horses, and now I admit I have my moments. Furthermore, now that I am getting better, it seems that everyone and his/her brother has a horror story to tell me ("I have a friend who's now an invalid after a fall", "So and so is now in constant pain after a fall", etc.). And then there are the comments, like, "You aren't thinking of riding again, are you?" and, my favorite, "Your husband told me about your accident and he was scared to death!" It's hard to fight back against or at least stave off so many negative comments, especially since I haven't heard a single positive one!

So this has now led to me questioning whether getting back in the saddle is wise. Did you ever have such thoughts during your recovery? I know that you still had a horse and responsibilities, but my horse is gone. I could just walk away...

Sorry to lay this on you like this, but I have no horsey friends here (probably part of the problem).


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

I have seen this, I'm kind of busy right now but I promise I'll get back to you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Northernstar (Jul 23, 2011)

Spanish Rider said:


> Golden,
> 
> I've been reading your story (both this and the previous thread), and you are my inspiration. But, I have questions, lots of questions.
> 
> ...


I just stumbled on this, and although you directed the question to Golden Horse, (apologize for stepping on any toes) I have a thought for you in general- I'm an active, adventurous, but wise person, and have had to 'suffer' through family members through the years who are 'nay sayers'. A quote from Eleanor Roosevelt is one I often share that has helped me to 'straighten my spine even further' when around negative ppl....

*"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". *

So plain and simple, but yet speaks volumes! Hope this helps, and with wisdom, do the wonderful things that makes you happy


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Spanish Rider said:


> OK, so the tough part for me right now is my mental recovery. Until now, I had never been afraid of horses, and now I admit I have my moments. Furthermore, now that I am getting better, it seems that everyone and his/her brother has a horror story to tell me ("I have a friend who's now an invalid after a fall", "So and so is now in constant pain after a fall", etc.). And then there are the comments, like, "You aren't thinking of riding again, are you?" and, my favorite, "Your husband told me about your accident and he was scared to death!" It's hard to fight back against or at least stave off so many negative comments, especially since I haven't heard a single positive one!
> 
> So this has now led to me questioning whether getting back in the saddle is wise. Did you ever have such thoughts during your recovery? I know that you still had a horse and responsibilities, but my horse is gone. I could just walk away...
> 
> Sorry to lay this on you like this, but I have no horsey friends here (probably part of the problem).


 
That is a big part of the problem is that you have no horsey friends in your everyday life (apart from here anyway :wink. They don't understand what it's like to love something so much that really is a risky hobby.

Only you can decide whether getting back in the saddle is wise and which horse is the best horse to do it on.

For some positive comments, if you want to work toward getting back in the saddle, then JUST DO IT! If riding won't be feasible, physically, then there are still many other options such as in hand training/showing/work and there is driving that are still completely possible.

Sure there are people who suffer permanently due to an injury, but there are plenty who get injured and come back to ride...but ride better because they learned a valuable lesson from their fall. I am one of these people. I've never had one instance that was as bad as the experience you and Denny each survived, but I've been injured repeatedly due to riding; broken bone or 3 here, dislocated this or that there, pinched nerves, torn muscles, sprained tendons, etc. I am still thoroughly involved with horses and wouldn't be able to survive without them. I may not ride every day, but if all else fails, I can go and scratch on their neck or brush them down whenever I need it.

My Mother doesn't understand. She comes from a very non-horsey family (she'd never ridden before meeting my Dad) and has always had a very healthy fear of all horses, even those that are as bombproof as possible. It really worries her every time I ride and she always has comments about how she wishes I would stop and how "one of these days you're going to get _really_ hurt".

But, without horses, I would be one very unhappy little girl, so to me, it's worth the risk. The best you can really do is to minimize the risk by choosing a horse that is suitable for you and working to learn how to react in every imaginable situation.


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## Northernstar (Jul 23, 2011)

^^ Excellent points here^^

Until the day comes when you feel ready to ride, (In my opinion, there's no expiration date) there are _so many awesome things_ to do with a horse without even sitting on its back! I own 3 horses, and have them right at home. I don't feel like I have to hop on their back every spare minute! I spend so much time with them in the care, feeding, etc, that just the several hour daily interactions are _extremely_ fulfilling. I ride them when I want/if I want/if I have time, but all in all, just having them in my world gives me pleasure that cannot be understood by 'non-horse' ppl. Be wise, confident, do not listen to others' negativity, and take pleasure in the company of these majestic animals however you wish


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Northernstar said:


> I just stumbled on this, and although you directed the question to Golden Horse, (apologize for stepping on any toes)


No toes being stepped on here, everyone has a story to share, and the road back is different for all, so the more views that Spanish Rider gets, the better.



> OK, so the tough part for me right now is my mental recovery. Until now, I had never been afraid of horses, and now I admit I have my moments. Furthermore, now that I am getting better, it seems that everyone and his/her brother has a horror story to tell me ("I have a friend who's now an invalid after a fall", "So and so is now in constant pain after a fall", etc.). And then there are the comments, like, "You aren't thinking of riding again, are you?" and, my favorite, "Your husband told me about your accident and he was scared to death!" It's hard to fight back against or at least stave off so many negative comments, especially since I haven't heard a single positive one!
> 
> So this has now led to me questioning whether getting back in the saddle is wise. Did you ever have such thoughts during your recovery? I know that you still had a horse and responsibilities, but my horse is gone. I could just walk away...


Right here we go, now is the time that you find out how much courage you have, because if you were never scared before, you were never brave, because being brave is standing up to what scares you and beating it. Now the thing is you don't HAVE to be brave, not everyone is in all circumstances, you never ever HAVE to ride or be around horses again, period, it is totally your choice. For me, the addiction beats the fear, I so want to ride and ride well, I just had to get back on again, I wondered for a while if I would, I didn't commit until my brain was ready. I gave myself a clue though, I had only been out of hospital for a couple of weeks when I had to go pick my crazy arab mare up from the trainers. I got a friend to take me over there with her truck and trailer, she had to put my seat belt on for me, and I had pillows and cushions wedged around me to keep me comfortable on the journey, but I loaded the mare myself to come home Stubborn and foolish, but I just wanted to do it.


Horror stories, everyone has them, about any subject, so stop listening to them, sh1t happens, some of it bad, but people LOVE to tell you about the bad stuff. My family have been great, I was unprepared how accepting they would be, but they did make requests.

1) NEVER ride Big Ben again, they wanted him away, even if it was to the auction.
2) Buy and use the safety vest (Which has turned out to be a fantastic investment, stops the girls bouncing so much, helps me worry less about the jiggle and relax and ride, so it is a double bonus) 

I watched a program a while ago that liberated me from worry about others, it was about a guy who lived to climb mountains, his family accepted it as what he did, and when he died trying to climb one of the harder mountains, there was a calmness about them. They believed that the mountains made him what he was, and they knew that he would rather die on a mountain, than live never climbing one again. It was the first time I really understood how families really should work.

OK, this is your choice, and one that you can make over time, yes you can walk away and decide that you no longer want to ride, and that would be totally understandable. You may decide that you don't want to ride but you do want horses in your life, and that is OK as well, find something horse based that suits you. 

The thing is, while your body is still recovering you naturally try and protect yourself, and this makes you nervous around animals you don't know. I am no longer comfortable around my 3 year old, and that pains me more than you would know, I have her listed for sale, the filly I bred to be my for ever horse, but that was for the me before the accident, I just can't deal with her now. My flighty Arab mare I am OK around, but not when she is with others, one on one I can read her and she minds me, in a group I just can't relax. I go though the mill about her on a regular basis, I WANT to ride her again, but I don;t know if want will be enough, maybe I should let her go to someone who can use her now, but the thought of doing that breaks my heart, so she stays and I will ground work her and spend more time with her, maybe it will happen.

SO wait until you are healed, then when you are fitter, then look for the right horses to be around, if that is what you want to do, listen to your own heart, and soul, not all the negative story tellers.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

:hug:... and now, ladies, I'm off to have a good cry.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

> *"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent".*


While I appreciate the sentiment and have heard this quote before, perhaps I did not express myself well enough. When I say that everyone has been giving me negative feedback, it is not towards my person, but towards riding and horses in general. And, when I hear horror story after horror story, it starts to make me question my motives, making me lose any confidence I had left.



> but there are plenty who get injured and come back to ride...but ride better because they learned a valuable lesson from their fall.


I like this way of thinking. It will be part of new mantra.:lol:



> They don't understand what it's like to love something so much that really is a risky hobby.


My husband included.



> But, without horses, I would be one very unhappy little girl, so to me, it's worth the risk.


I think I have a harder time accepting this risk because I still have young children to take care of.



> there are _so many awesome things_ to do with a horse without even sitting on its back!


I have been doing some grooming of other horses at the barn, which I hope will get me over my nervous jitters. Even a swish of a tail because of a fly sends me through the roof! A work in progress...


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

> now is the time that you find out how much courage you have


"Courageous" is not and adjective I have ever used to describe myself. 



> My family have been great, I was unprepared how accepting they would be


My husband has been completely closemouthed, and this is all beyond my children's comprehension. I have virtually no support, except for this forum.



> The thing is, while your body is still recovering you naturally try and protect yourself, and this makes you nervous around animals you don't know.


So true.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I can't tell you how important it has been to find someone else who understands what this is like. It looks like I will be stalking your threads for a good long while.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Spanish Rider said:


> "Courageous" is not and adjective I have ever used to describe myself.


Me neither, but I am using it now, because of the fear, without fear there can be no courage. So I have stopped calling myself a coward for everything that I can't do, and there is a lot, but instead I accept that YES I AM BRAVE, every time I push through something I AM BRAVE.

Just remember time, you have time, this is not a race, it is a process and all of us travel at different speeds. There are people who bounce straight back, some take a while. You mention you have little ones, well that really does change a persons priorities, I quit riding all together when the kids were small, for many reasons. Take your journey at your pace, listen to your own heart and head and be guided by you. I get that you have to be mindful of family wishes, but if you need to be around horses again, then you will only resent the barriers if others raise them.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Life has been hectic since the show, been trying to get the rest of the seeding done against natures best attempt to wash out the whole season. Eventually managed to sneak off through the mud and wet and go visit Gibbs yesterday, and OH BOY DID I NEED THAT!

He was wet when I brought him in, and I dried him off and cleaned him up as much as possible before tacking up, but as soon as I got on he was unhappy. Not sure if it was lack of exercise, wet back, or what, but he was very un Gibbs like, the back end was under, neck arched, on his toes, and if he was a 3 year old colt you would have been expecting a huge buck or two too be brewing. As it was Gibbs, I just hoped that he wouldn't escalate to bucking, and just sat there and enjoyed the feeling of energy, I was so pleased that is didn't scare me, I just rode him forward, kept him on a smallish circle so I had his nose tipped, ready to get him round if needed, and quietly rode it out.

He settled really quickly, and we had an awesome lesson, one of the repeated comments from the tests was about his lack of impulsion, so teh whole lesson yesterday was about forward, free paces, just really leaving his head alone and driving everything from the seat, it was hard work, but such fun, and we got some really nice paces out of him.

Now comes the big decision, when to bring him home. I want him home so I can see him every day, I could (potentially) ride whenever I wanted, and build his and my fitness. On the other hand, there is no one to ride with here, if it keeps raining our ground is just not safe, it is gumbo type clay that just goes ice slick when wet. My round pen needs new sand in it before it is really usable, but we can't get that in until it dries. I just don't know what to do for best at the moment.


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## flytobecat (Mar 28, 2010)

Hopefully, you will be able to get him home soon.
Glad you had a good ride!


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

WOW, GH... just... WOW. 

I am a lurker here and do not have time to read all of the threads. I stumbled across your Mr. Gibbs thread and really enjoyed it, and I have enjoyed interacting with you on my "breaking through the fear" journal. 

But I didn't know any of this. 

First, I want to say that I want to join the "GH is my hero" club. Kudos to you for all of the strides you've made!

Secondly... I can't help feeling that this might have been my future, had I not decided to stop riding Obie. The similarities are uncanny. I, too, got a big, beautiful horse with the intention of doing dressage. His big, scopey strides were intimidating and he had serious issues with mounting... and I could have seen the exact same thing happening to me that happened to you.

I feel like I need to thank you for being so open with your experience... because it's validated my own decision to call it quits with Obie. Even now... even with Striker and being so happy with him... I still would go to my parents and see Obie and wonder... shouldn't I keep trying with him?

Now I can honestly say I don't think I'll ever ride him again. I don't think there's any shame in that, and I don't think that I'm a failure because I couldn't conquer my fear.

Sometimes it's not fear... it's good sense.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

:rofl::rofl: That's funny N79, I thought you knew...I too was so struck about the similarities between our stories, which is why I totally supported you when you were thinking of selling him a while ago. I could so see a bad ending coming, but that is my own fear talking.. I am so glad that Ben isn't here anymore, I may never ride Emmy, she is a kind of hot little arab, but she is fine to handle, when I say fine, she can be a hot darn mess, but she doesn't intimidate me like Ben did. It is sad that I had to go and get damaged to realise that having horses shouldn't be about fear and intimidation, but about joy and enabling!

There is absolutely no shame in deciding that you will not ride him again, you are not a failure, you are a realist:wink:

This statement of yours

*Sometimes it's not fear... it's good sense. *

and this, from someone on facebook today

*Not sure if I grew out of stupid or ran out of brave.*

both make a lot of sense to me


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Another milestone passed, here am I out on a trail ride Saturday, not a long one, but we had run barrels, and done some gymkhana games before heading out.










Gibbs however is still at the barn, I'm still having the odd melt down over mounting, and my trainer suggested I kept him there. Now Dh is making unhappy noises, we have so much grass at home and I'm paying to board, it makes little sense.


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## VickiRose (Jul 13, 2013)

Gibbs looks so happy in the grass! Look, hubby would complain just as loudly if you had Gibbs home but weren't riding him because you were worried over mounting. Maybe he would be happier if there was a definite timeline as to when you were aiming to have him home for good. Men are such logical creatures, give them a logical plan they can follow and they're happy!
Lookin' good by the way!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

VickiRose said:


> Gibbs looks so happy in the grass! Look, hubby would complain just as loudly if you had Gibbs home but weren't riding him because you were worried over mounting. Maybe he would be happier if there was a definite timeline as to when you were aiming to have him home for good. Men are such logical creatures, give them a logical plan they can follow and they're happy!
> Lookin' good by the way!



:rofl: Right on all counts there! Board is already paid for July, and no refunds, so that gets me two weeks, I may say I want to keep him there until end of August, and our last show of the year, gives me time to get better at mounting, and we will be in harvest soon after so grabbing enough time to get down there and ride will be hard, but I maybe able to ride here. He can chill and get fat on end of summer and fall grass and I may get to trail ride him for a while.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

************happy dance**********

:happydance::happydance::happydance:

Today started off poorly, the therapist coming out to give Gibbs a tune up, and check saddle fit, got injured by a horse at her previous client so couldn't come. Hope she recovers soon, poor girl, and happily Gibbs was only routine check up, no issues that I know of, but grrrr all the same.

So I decided to ride the boy, and was going to fight that mounting demon, so I took him into the school, and walked him around, took him up to the block, and he he was doing his usual fidgeting around. I was trying to get him over that and get me brave, but was struggling. Then one of the teenagers turned up for her lesson, and asked if she could help, I gladly took the help, and on I got.

I had a great ride, he went really nicely, and then I had an idea. Jumped off of him, led him over to the mounting block, lined him up, and then just walked up the steps and got on. 

YUP, that simple. 

I stood for a while, then walked forward and hopped off, then took him back to the block, stood him up. walked up the step, and just got on!

Easy as that, very simple - I think that it had become such a big thing in my head, that he was just getting upset from me messing about, this getting on thing has become a HUGE barrier to be overcome before I can ride, but taking the pressure off, we had already come into sync through the ride, it meant that we both could relax, and yup could just mount like a normal person. 

Not sure what will happen next ride, but if it takes me accepting help on the first mount, that's OK. I will just pop off after a while and get back on again, the more I practice the better it will get


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

Awesome! 

Heck, I get super nervous mounting and Striker stands like a rock. Plus, I don't have the same bad experience as you had.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dustbunny (Oct 22, 2012)

I know you know this, but if you approach a problem as if it's no big deal, your chances are greater that there really will be no big deal.

Good for you and enjoy those rides!!!!!!!!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Success mounted on my own, first time! Yippee.

I had one of the students video a bit of my lope work

Lope left - YouTube

It was going a bit pear shaped at the end there, I only had the tip of my toes in the stirrup, which was fine while loping, not do good on the down transition.

Now this is his bad side, so I was delighted with this one

Lope Right - YouTube


So different from when I tried him out, he simply couldn't lope on a circle

First ride on the new guy - YouTube
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

You and Gibbs have come so far, GH!! So proud of you guys!

He looks so much more relaxed now. I love his lope.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

I love it too, now! At first it was so hard to get the transitions, now he can just take off when asked. We have just started to try and improve the quality of his lope, and I'm seeing benefits already.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## HagonNag (Jul 17, 2010)

That's fantastic!!! I am so proud of what you've accomplished with Gibbs.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Another week, another milestone, and this one is HUGE, today I did this










and ended up doing this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6u775fXy0w

My first time in an English saddle since I crashed mounting Ben, my first time cantering in English tack for about 3 years. He has an odd 4 beat counter going on, you have to really push him and keep after him or he 4 beats the canter.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

Great job!! His canter is odd, isn't it?  He definitely is a cutie, though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chevaux (Jun 27, 2012)

Brillant!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

So lucky to have a real schoolmaster to ride, he is only 6, but so steady. He is funny though, if you don't ask properly he wont do anything he defaults to walking in small circles, or goes and stand the corner. Very safe, but you certainly have to ride him, once you get the aids right, he will happily do whatever you want.


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

Awesome!!!! You look fantastic!!!


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Great job Denny!!!!!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> Great job!! His canter is odd, isn't it?  He definitely is a cutie, though.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It is odd, but very very comfortable, he canters like a small horse, I am just a little in love.


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## Chevaux (Jun 27, 2012)

I call dibs on Gibbs if you're thinking of a change.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

I think that the Gibbs will be here for a while yet! Maybe he will get a friend along the line somewhere.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

A person can never have too many good horses.


*says the girl with more than she can ride in a day* LOL


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Another milestone today, I bought Gibbs home from the barn just over a week ago, and have just been enjoying seeing him in the morning when I look out of the window. We have been busy at the other farm so haven't really had time to think about riding, but today I had time. I was home alone. not ideal, but just felt like today was the day, so I caught the boy, and rode him, just in the round pen, just at a walk, but I did it. 

First ride at home with Gibbs, first time mounting in the round pen since the fall, was glad to leave it on foot this time:wink:

It's a great view, even if he does have the worst looking mane ever at the moment



















Oh and I have found a treat he will eat, organic baby carrots, not ordinary store bought cheap big bag carrots, no little baby organic expensive carrots!


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## DreaMy (Jul 1, 2014)

Glad you got back on  



Golden Horse said:


> Oh and I have found a treat he will eat, organic baby carrots, not ordinary store bought cheap big bag carrots, no little baby organic expensive carrots!


^^ Its ok, my rabbit only eats peeled organic carrots with tops on them. :eyeroll:


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## Chevaux (Jun 27, 2012)

I think we can all agree that Gibbs is deserving of the best carrots

P.S. Glad you managed to get a bit of riding in - it's such a trial finding unclaimed time during the harvest season.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Gibbs is worth expensive carrots for sure, good job the girls are less fussy. 

Next week I may get more time, we'll be picking up on the home farm and there is a lot of dew down in the mornings, so can't get going until the sun dries it up some


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## HagonNag (Jul 17, 2010)

ROFL Gibbs surely deserves the best carrots (as does Blossom) but our budget doesn't extend to baby organic carrots...(unless WE are eating them!) Blossom is very happy with big carrots cut into small pieces and stored in salted water in the refrigerator! I take a few out to her in a ziplock bag and she's very satisfied...as is my bank account! LOL Great to see you progressing!


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

Awesome awesome awesome! I completely understand the fear of riding alone. Heck, I'm nervous if I'm alone in the arena, even if there are people nearby. Completely alone... WOW! Great job!


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## jamesqf (Oct 5, 2009)

Don't tell Gibbs, but those "baby" carrots are often just pieces of regular carrots (misshapen or with bad spots) that are cut down and shaped: Baby carrot - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## Dustbunny (Oct 22, 2012)

jamesqf said:


> Don't tell Gibbs, but those "baby" carrots are often just pieces of regular carrots (misshapen or with bad spots) that are cut down and shaped: Baby carrot - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


 Well, what Gibbs doesn't know won't hurt him. : )

Congrats, Golden Horse!


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