# I'm am DONE with my BO, so livid right now!



## Cinnys Whinny (Apr 10, 2010)

Prelude: Just so you all know ahead of time, yes I am moving in about a month or 2 to another state (Kansas City, MO). If I wasn't I'd be finding a new stable for Cinny YESTERDAY.

So, I have had some issues off and on with my BO for the past year. The last major thing was almost a year ago, and I almost moved but he made promises that he kept for a while, but then just started to let slide again. Basically other boarders do whatever they want and he doesn't enforce the rules with them, but with me he cracks down. Stupid crap like people putting up blanket bars outside their stalls, fans, over rail feeders on the outside their stalls with brushes or various equipment.... but when I ask if I can do this with Cinny's stall (I always ask my BO's permission to do stuff) he says no because the other people weren't supposed to and the horses make a mess with it, blah blah blah. But, he never tells THEM to remove them or stop doing it. People let their horses loose on the lawn to graze and go clean their stalls, not supervising them, but when I ask if I can, nope because it's dangerous. When I mentioned the double standards to a friend at the barn she just said "that's why you NEVER ask BO, you just do what you want." That is the attitude everyone has and how much they don't respect him.

Last year I was going to lease out Cinny and advertised for someone who was an intermediate dressage or HUS to lease him and I later found that he sort of thwarted my efforts. The one person who DID come down to try him out was a great match but suddenly said no. I later found out that he had called that person and persuaded them not to lease Cin. Then he came to me and wanted me to lease Cinny to his friend's daughter for WP!! I explained that I did not want Cinny doing WP as he's not really a WP horse, does NOT move like a WP horse at all and I didn't want his way of going to be forced into WP. He wasn't too happy with me and my search for a lessee sort of just fizzled.

Last Fall I was thinking of buying another horse for Dressage and last minute he told me he had NO stalls available at all. There were empty stalls but they were rented out. Well, they sat empty for months! He finally filled them up and then rented out 2 of our 4 turn outs to boarders.

Recently (as mentioned in another thread) I have been offered to possibly take another horse if it doesn't sell (lame with a quarter crack). I know both barns are jammed full with a waiting list so I asked if I could rent the tiny turnout nobody uses and put the new horse in it with Cin once I know they get along, for a month until I move to Kansas City. He told me that turn outs are NOT for rent. 2 days later he tells me I can have a stall in our back barn. 

I hadn't heard from the girl with the horse for a while so today I contacted her and told her that the BO is waiting for me to tell him because he has a waiting list...which is what he told me. She answered back that my BO CALLED HER!!!! He hasn't spoken to me at all about the horse or the stall since he told me I could have the stall, but instead he calls her about the horse for himself. He goes around huffing and puffing all the time about "you can't trust women," "Women are liars," "women go behind your back," blah blah blah.... and yet he seems to be describing himself.

Now I can't WAIT to get out of there. I was sad to leave, and leave all of my friends, and I still am. But now I have reason to be happy that I'm moving out of there. I'm just wondering now if it's worth it to just move to another stable for the 1 or 2 months that I'm still here just so I can get out now. It sucks because I was going to take Cinny to a schooling show May 18, but with his ulcers, all the moving and then a show and then moving again would be too much for him to handle I think. Do I stick it out 1 or 2 more months, or do I move him and forget the show? Gah....so mad I can barely think right now, and can't sleep at all!!


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## Nitefeatherz (Jan 23, 2012)

You say that this BO does a lot of things to you personally. How is the care for Cinny? Do they do anything that would put your horse at risk or that you don't like or is all this behavior just between you and the BO? 

If he is doing stuff like that with you I would be wondering what he is doing with my horse behind my back (when I'm not around to be watching.)

Also- its easy to say that you are moving in 1-2 months and then the time gets extended. If you don't move in a month or two are you going to be okay with that?

Can you find someone who is willing to rent out a stall/space for you for a month or so until you move? 

Also- how much less stress do you feel you would have at a new barn? I would wonder that as much as you worry about the stress of moving- how much of this stressful situation is Cinny picking up on (and potentially stressing him out as well?)

I would take all that into consideration before deciding whether to move for the next 1-2 months.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

What a jerk.

Can't wait for you to move out of there! Horses aren't the only ones that get ulcers you know!


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## OuttatheBlue (Dec 8, 2011)

Sorry you're having such troubles with the BO! I never heard him say the sexist comments at the end before, and that's very weird he's calling people.

I haven't had much trouble with him- I know the people you're talking about ignoring the 'rules' and doing what they like. I try to stay respectful of common sense, along with most of the people in the barns IMO but I know there are a couple who do what you mentioned above.

Now I know the BO is still new to this whole managing a barn thing as it was sort of thrust upon him a couple years ago. I've been there since the actual month he started being the sole owner of the barn and a lot has changed since then, and I've actually had my own issues with him but I've always found in the end we were able to talk it out and end okay. He's by no means perfect- but I've been at most of the barns in our area (minus the equestrian center) and this stable is by far my favorite. I had a barn manager who was MUCH worse to the point we weren't allowed to turn out horses if we weren't there, and wouldn't fix a stall that was falling apart unless the owner hobbled the thoroughbred 24/7 in a small stall (ummm it might have that energy to kick up a stall because it's not allowed to be turned out!) Another stable was managed by a woman, and it was SO much more dramatic! We got in trouble for cleaning our own stalls and the owners daughter was always lurking (literally) around the corner eavesdropping in our conversations. One point she heard something she misinterpreted (if you said anything that sounded remotely negative about the barn it meant you hated it and were complaining) and ran to tell the owner on us..

Ah just thinking about those barns reminds me of how happy I am to be at this barn. Maybe because I'm doing self care and not reliant on the barn owner, the last few months have been spectacular here. The best part is the people of the barn  From all the barns I've been at- this one definitively has the BEST boarders! There's no abusive training going on, no ones really causing boarder drama, heck I've had my tack room without a lock on it for the last 3 months (gonna fix that) and nothing has gone missing even when the doors been accidently left open! (I found out I put my flyspray in the trailer for when we went to a show)

Hope you figure everything out with the barn owner! I have a thought about your rental situation. What if you closed the door between the stall and run and put one in the run, one in the stall overnight and then turn them out during the day.


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

Cinnys Whinny said:


> I'm just wondering now if it's worth it to just move to another stable for the 1 or 2 months that I'm still here just so I can get out now. It sucks because I was going to take Cinny to a schooling show May 18, but with his ulcers, all the moving and then a show and then moving again would be too much for him to handle I think. Do I stick it out 1 or 2 more months, or do I move him and forget the show? Gah....so mad I can barely think right now, and can't sleep at all!!


Its up to you and what you can and cannot deal/put up with. Will you be able to put up with all this for another 2 months or will you be happier finding some where else for that time? Just keep in mind that it is stressful on horses to move around from barn to barn and they are more prone to injuries after they move. If you are satisfied with your horse's care, I would say stay and just lay low for 2 months.


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## Cinnys Whinny (Apr 10, 2010)

Thanks, I'm just frustrated. 

NO HE DOES NOT DO ANYTHING ABUSIVE TO THE HORSES. I want to make that clear. In fact most of them are quite happy to see him, even when it's not feeding time. The person that he has doing some of the "full care" work can be a little course but not abusive or stressful. I think the most abusive thing I have every seen either of them do to a horse is to gruffly command it to go to it's run so they can clean their box stall, which in my opinion isn't abusive at all.

Blue, there are a few things I haven't mentioned, but no I don't think he means to do things to me personally, etc it just sort of ends up that way, or I feel that way when I don't get the same allowances that others are given and it's more than half the stable, not just a few people that do what they want and he just lets them. I just think that there are a LOT of double standards and as I say, he is quick to enforce rules with me, but not others. My husband and I have had several talks with him about it off and on all year and he always says he doesn't realize he is doing it. He makes promises that he will do things like posting rules, enforcing them on everyone, he's going to do this, he's going to do that.... but then slides right back. He never tells me "okay, you can too since everyone else is."

I think part of what I'm mad about is last year when I almost moved out, we had a long talk and gotten things worked out. My husband was there too. I don't know how it happened, and I'm ashamed of it now, but the BO asked me to help him by pointing out to him when someone didn't follow a rule so he could talk to them and enforce it as he was going to be in the barn a lot more. I know it ruffled a few feathers, and I eventually stopped because it wasn't helping the situation at all, and I ended up getting in a BIG fight with another boarder, because he had gotten frustrated with me telling BO on his daughter and then one day I stood up for myself when he was trying to bully me out of riding in the arena so he could turn his horses out. It was a huge blow up and he wouldn't believe me when I said riders take precedence over turnouts in the indoor arena and he called the BO, and things got a bit heated, and the BO was REALLY good friends with this person.... but I don't think he is anymore, he enforced the rule, but after that he stopped enforcing them again and letting people do what they want, except me.

I know this is his hobby. I know he has a full time job. I know he's tired, etc. I know he has issues with his ex and his own internal drama, I know he's human. But I'm tired of being frustrated by him not doing what he says he will do, and this thing about going behind my back with this horse SUCKS. The person even got mad at me because she wanted to keep it hush hush because she wants a good chance to try to sell her first and we both know that if she is thinking of "giving" the horse away, and it gets through the grapevine, she won't have any luck selling it or trying to recoup some of her loss with the horse. I don't even remember telling him what horse it was but maybe he heard me asking around the barn about the horse which I tried to make it sound as if I were buying her. So maybe my fault. But still, he had no reason to call her. But I have learned from actually overhearing him, our BO is can be quite a gossip tho he really tries to hide it.

I'm not sure if the girl is going to give me the horse now. It may be for the best, I don't know. I guess I was looking forward to the challenge of nursing it back to health, etc. and maybe having a better dressage horse next year. So I'm a little disappointed in that. I'm disappointed in the BO, and I'm disappointed in myself for trusting him not just in this matter, but in doing what he tells me he will do or not do. I guess I was already mad at him anyway because when I got back from my trip to CA I discovered that he hadn't followed my directions in mixing and giving Cinny his ulcer meds and I now have to start all over with them. And that makes me mad at myself for NOT asking one of my barn friends to do it, but I didn't want to burden any of them with the care of my sick horse. And (and Blue I'm not sure how to word this so please don't get offended), sometimes I wonder if the people I think are my friends at the barn, think of me as a friend.... because lately I get the feeling nobody wants me around. I'm just sort of off in the corners but not really part of the conversation. People make plans to go on trail, and I'm always DYING to go on trail, but I usually have to ask if I can go, or otherwise invite myself, but rarely actually get asked even if I'm right there when the plans are being made. And then it's like I'm some straggler along for the ride, and I feel like an intruder. Maybe it's my fault for concentrating so hard on working Cinny for Shaggy the last few months, I don't know. But it makes me feel very odd and awkward asking for help, such as someone medicating my horse while I'm gone.

I know it's one of the better stables in town, (the equestrian center is stress town, trust me I would choose that run down yet pretty one with the colonial barn over the equestrian center because it's less stress). There IS a subtle undercurrent of something not quite drama, but almost there for some of the boarders and I think that though the BO says he hates drams, he starts what little there is by his actions and double standards with the boarders, or more accurately his turning a blind eye to certain people.

I think I"m just frustrated and need a place to vent it out. I'm so tired of hearing "no" all the time when I want to do what other boarders do just because I'm the one respectful enough to ask first. Moving Cinny now, and then taking him to a show, then moving him again in a couple month is out of the question I think. HE is not the one under stress, but moving him around so much would be stressful and I'm trying to heal ulcers not cause new ones. I am even having doubts about taking him to the Cornhusker Classic Schooling show. But thank you all for your advice.


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

Hi Cinny, just relax it will be over soon. Your BO tells you no and you respect it, he probably tells the others no as well but they just do what they want anyways. Your respecting his authority they aren't. If someone tells me no I don't do it but I know a lot of people don't think like that. 
Your other people you board with, are probably annoyed at you for getting the BO to try and enforce rules that they don't want to obey. That is a hard situation, it's sort of like being a whistle blower ;0) 
Your BO shouldn't call or talk to anyone you are trying to do business with, it's crossing the line. It is sad but if you are going to be getting a deal, you need to be more secreative ;-) If I get a deal on hay from a friend, my other horsey friends seem to think that by association they should get the same kind of deals lol I keep it to myself, I built that relationship they can build their own. I got a free horse from a friend, and she is beauitful next thing I know they want the number of my friend so they can talk to him and blah blah I didn't give it if my friend lets me know something that he wants passed around then I will. 
Hang in there two months isn't that far away. You can do it.


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## OuttatheBlue (Dec 8, 2011)

Cinnys Whinny said:


> Thanks, I'm just frustrated.
> 
> NO HE DOES NOT DO ANYTHING ABUSIVE TO THE HORSES. I want to make that clear. In fact most of them are quite happy to see him, even when it's not feeding time. The person that he has doing some of the "full care" work can be a little course but not abusive or stressful. I think the most abusive thing I have every seen either of them do to a horse is to gruffly command it to go to it's run so they can clean their box stall, which in my opinion isn't abusive at all.
> 
> ...


If it's who I think it is... I had an issue with them earlier. I would sit outside the arena door waiting, if they didn't move their horses I would go over and talk to them explaining I only had so much time to ride and couldn't wait for their horses and most of the time they move them very quickly! But I did have a few times over the winter I got frustrated waiting, it seems he's gotten better.



> I know this is his hobby. I know he has a full time job. I know he's tired, etc. I know he has issues with his ex and his own internal drama, I know he's human. But I'm tired of being frustrated by him not doing what he says he will do, and this thing about going behind my back with this horse SUCKS. The person even got mad at me because she wanted to keep it hush hush because she wants a good chance to try to sell her first and we both know that if she is thinking of "giving" the horse away, and it gets through the grapevine, she won't have any luck selling it or trying to recoup some of her loss with the horse. I don't even remember telling him what horse it was but maybe he heard me asking around the barn about the horse which I tried to make it sound as if I were buying her. So maybe my fault. But still, he had no reason to call her. But I have learned from actually overhearing him, our BO is can be quite a gossip tho he really tries to hide it.


Cinny.... don't spread this please as I've tried to keep my own issues with this girl private... but if you didn't tell the barn owner the actual horse owner the girl MAY be fibbing. Not saying she IS, but if you want to talk over private message, I've had some issues with honesty with her (NOT trying to bash her personally... I think she's a good rider/person, etc.)

That said I know the barn owner can be quite the gossip and likes to make himself sound as horsey as possible.. one time a girl was picking her horse's back hooves out normally and he came out and said, "I'd only do that if you want to get kicked in the head like Katie" MONTHS after my accident, where I was NOT picking hooves... -sigh-

Occasionally he likes to give me riding advise, which has not been too appreciated either haha. For some reason though I couldn't see him calling up a horse owner of a prospective horse you're looking at... I would HOPE that would be completely out of the question but who knows lately I've found out I may be more wrong than right.



> I'm not sure if the girl is going to give me the horse now. It may be for the best, I don't know. I guess I was looking forward to the challenge of nursing it back to health, etc. and maybe having a better dressage horse next year. So I'm a little disappointed in that. I'm disappointed in the BO, and I'm disappointed in myself for trusting him not just in this matter, but in doing what he tells me he will do or not do. I guess I was already mad at him anyway because when I got back from my trip to CA I discovered that he hadn't followed my directions in mixing and giving Cinny his ulcer meds and I now have to start all over with them. And that makes me mad at myself for NOT asking one of my barn friends to do it, but I didn't want to burden any of them with the care of my sick horse. And (and Blue I'm not sure how to word this so please don't get offended), sometimes I wonder if the people I think are my friends at the barn, think of me as a friend.... because lately I get the feeling nobody wants me around. I'm just sort of off in the corners but not really part of the conversation. People make plans to go on trail, and I'm always DYING to go on trail, but I usually have to ask if I can go, or otherwise invite myself, but rarely actually get asked even if I'm right there when the plans are being made. And then it's like I'm some straggler along for the ride, and I feel like an intruder. Maybe it's my fault for concentrating so hard on working Cinny for Shaggy the last few months, I don't know. But it makes me feel very odd and awkward asking for help, such as someone medicating my horse while I'm gone.


I never mind helping out  If I ever appear that way, it's because I'm crazy. Quite literally. I'm a scatter brain at the barn and am running everywhere talking to everyone- sometimes it feels like I have ADHD haha. I know I can appear rude when I don't mean to be. If you want to go on a trail today I'm going to try to do a long-ish one around 1! Supposed to be 77* and sunny 

I think the thing with trail rides is a LOT of the time, we're at the barn and one person is going on a trail ride so we all hop on board to. It's very rarely planned, at least for me. I just decided to go on a trail ride this morning, and whenever I try to plan people to come nobody ever can so I just give up, lol. With my work schedule too, it makes it hard to coordinate. I saw your facebook post yesterday morning, but I have church on Sunday mornings it and it started really raining after that so I figured it wouldn't work if I offered.

I used to feel out of touch with the people at the barn too, but they all are really great people (minus the people in the back barn who are always yelling... but I'll admit I don't really know them too well).



> I know it's one of the better stables in town, (the equestrian center is stress town, trust me I would choose that run down yet pretty one with the colonial barn over the equestrian center because it's less stress). There IS a subtle undercurrent of something not quite drama, but almost there for some of the boarders and I think that though the BO says he hates drams, he starts what little there is by his actions and double standards with the boarders, or more accurately his turning a blind eye to certain people.
> 
> I think I"m just frustrated and need a place to vent it out. I'm so tired of hearing "no" all the time when I want to do what other boarders do just because I'm the one respectful enough to ask first. Moving Cinny now, and then taking him to a show, then moving him again in a couple month is out of the question I think. HE is not the one under stress, but moving him around so much would be stressful and I'm trying to heal ulcers not cause new ones. I am even having doubts about taking him to the Cornhusker Classic Schooling show. But thank you all for your advice.


Are you talking about the one by the park with a two letter name? I know the barn manager of that one too, used to be at one of her barns. From what I heard she's been cleaning up her act though, and I like the barn.

I had an issue with the barn owner turning a blind eye to one person while holding several people up on their rule (mainly one person who is very rude and thinks they own the barn... if you know who I'm talking about) We all complained about it, until he changed the rule a little. He does listen to reason and is trying to run this barn the best he can, which sometimes isn't as we'd like it but I think he's in the process of making the barn what he wants (slowly however).



Let me know if you wanna go on the trail ride  I think I want to make it to at least the second bridge today! But I may not be as brave if I go alone (can't take Reily today)


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## Cinnys Whinny (Apr 10, 2010)

chandra1313 said:


> Your BO shouldn't call or talk to anyone you are trying to do business with, it's crossing the line. It is sad but if you are going to be getting a deal, you need to be more secreative ;-) .


That's the thing, I don't recall telling him anything about the deal, who it was...I only remember telling him that I may be getting another horse and could we find any temporary place at the stable to keep it for the 1-2 month's I'd still be there. This person used to be a boarder and everyone knows she's selling the horse, he may have put 2 and 2 together, I don't know. I just don't recall giving him any other information besides needing a stall for a few months... Kind of hard to take in a horse if you haven't arranged for a stall LOL.


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## Cinnys Whinny (Apr 10, 2010)

OuttatheBlue said:


> If it's who I think it is... I had an issue with them earlier. I would sit outside the arena door waiting, if they didn't move their horses I would go over and talk to them explaining I only had so much time to ride and couldn't wait for their horses and most of the time they move them very quickly! But I did have a few times over the winter I got frustrated waiting, it seems he's gotten better.


Yes he has, and we get along okay now. He actually gave me some really GREAT advice on Cin's ulcer issues as their TB apparently has a really horrible problem with them, which I didn't know. 



OuttatheBlue said:


> Cinny.... don't spread this please as I've tried to keep my own issues with this girl private... but if you didn't tell the barn owner the actual horse owner the girl MAY be fibbing. Not saying she IS, but if you want to talk over private message, I've had some issues with honesty with her (NOT trying to bash her personally... I think she's a good rider/person, etc.)


As we both agreed last time we spoke about us both being on HF, nothing said on here goes past here.... I will not repeat this, or spread this etc. I think we both have each other's trust in this now. That is why I felt safe about this here.

I am finding this out too and I'm treading very warily with her as it is. Even for what she says, I'm not sure why she would say BO called her if he didn't... whether he did or didn't, there is something very weird about it.

I DO know that she is advertising the horse on CL as SOUND AND HEALTHY, which she is not, so now I'm wondering if it really is just a quarter crack. I'm supposed to look at her sometime this week. If the horse is worse than she is saying, I will probably pass even though I know she was depending on it so she could have her favorite summer lease. I personally don't think she will find a seller advertising her that way because most people would know something up as soon as they see special shoes and a pad on the horse and take her for dishonest. I know I would. I'm not really close to her, or know her very well and I wondered why she came to me in the first place except that maybe it's because her mom has always liked me.



OuttatheBlue said:


> That said I know the barn owner can be quite the gossip and likes to make himself sound as horsey as possible.. one time a girl was picking her horse's back hooves out normally and he came out and said, "I'd only do that if you want to get kicked in the head like Katie" MONTHS after my accident, where I was NOT picking hooves... -sigh-
> 
> Occasionally he likes to give me riding advise, which has not been too appreciated either haha. For some reason though I couldn't see him calling up a horse owner of a prospective horse you're looking at... I would HOPE that would be completely out of the question but who knows lately I've found out I may be more wrong than right.


Ha ha, yeah his "advice" cracks me up sometimes. He ALWAYS has something to say abut me and Cinny. He even said that he doesn't think ulcers are Cinny's problem, he's just a disrespectful horse that needs to learn ground manners and how to respect it's rider and that I should run him hard in the round pen for a couple of hours not letting him stop to break him of it!



OuttatheBlue said:


> I never mind helping out  If I ever appear that way, it's because I'm crazy. Quite literally. I'm a scatter brain at the barn and am running everywhere talking to everyone- sometimes it feels like I have ADHD haha.


I don't mean this in a bad way, but that was why I didn't ask you to medicate Cinny every day for me while I was gone. You have such a full plate already! 

The person with the 2 horses that I also could have asked, same thing to the point that sometimes she calls other people to care for her own because she's too tired... and for some reason I think I did something to upset her as she's been a little standoffish lately. Our Guy friend I know just wants to relax with his horse after his often very long work hours. I just didn't want anyone to feel obligated or something, as I know a lot of people have a hard time saying no.



OuttatheBlue said:


> I know I can appear rude when I don't mean to be. If you want to go on a trail today I'm going to try to do a long-ish one around 1! Supposed to be 77* and sunny
> 
> I think the thing with trail rides is a LOT of the time, we're at the barn and one person is going on a trail ride so we all hop on board to. It's very rarely planned, at least for me. I just decided to go on a trail ride this morning, and whenever I try to plan people to come nobody ever can so I just give up, lol. With my work schedule too, it makes it hard to coordinate. I saw your facebook post yesterday morning, but I have church on Sunday mornings it and it started really raining after that so I figured it wouldn't work if I offered.
> 
> I used to feel out of touch with the people at the barn too, but they all are really great people (minus the people in the back barn who are always yelling... but I'll admit I don't really know them too well).


I have never thought of you as rude, just so you know. I've just always thought you had your own little circle, as we are quite far apart in ages and that is the normal way of things. No that hasn't ever really bothered me. It's the people who are closer to my age. Although I will admit when you were talking to the person from the back barn last week about going on trail I was DYING to ask to go to, but I didn't because I thought to myself that I was right there, you both knew I was right there and if you wanted other people along you would have asked if I wanted to go to. I didn't want to be a butt inski.



OuttatheBlue said:


> Are you talking about the one by the park with a two letter name? I know the barn manager of that one too, used to be at one of her barns. From what I heard she's been cleaning up her act though, and I like the barn.


Yeah, that's the one. When I looked at it last year I was really disgusted in the place to be honest. It's nice to hear she is cleaning it up a bit. If it wasn't so disgusting I might have moved last year ha ha.



OuttatheBlue said:


> I had an issue with the barn owner turning a blind eye to one person while holding several people up on their rule (mainly one person who is very rude and thinks they own the barn... if you know who I'm talking about) We all complained about it, until he changed the rule a little. He does listen to reason and is trying to run this barn the best he can, which sometimes isn't as we'd like it but I think he's in the process of making the barn what he wants (slowly however).


Oh, I know who you are talking about. It's more the older daughter really, am I right? I STILL have issues with her. In fact last week she was somewhat abusing one of the horses and it was all I could do to not knock her away and grab that horse from her. It was over by the turnouts and the mom saw it but only yelled at her from the back to stop, which she did not. When she got back to the back barn the two had a loud argument you could hear in the parking lot!



OuttatheBlue said:


> Let me know if you wanna go on the trail ride  I think I want to make it to at least the second bridge today! But I may not be as brave if I go alone (can't take Reily today)


I'll see if I can get a babysitter. That's my worst problem right now. I had someone I was going to interview to sit in the afternoons, but I haven't heard from her today. If you know of someone who has a couple hours free a couple days a week in the afternoons that is great with toddlers, let me know....


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## OuttatheBlue (Dec 8, 2011)

Cinnys Whinny said:


> Yes he has, and we get along okay now. He actually gave me some really GREAT advice on Cin's ulcer issues as their TB apparently has a really horrible problem with them, which I didn't know.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 We'll have to go on a trail ride sometime and talk. I've known this girl almost my whole life and we've been family friends up until this last year. Her mom was very close with my mom and sister, and I saw her a lot growing up. Her family is actually one of the main things that got me into horses. She has told me things I had NO reason to suspect it wasn't true, that I later found out was a lie. She has even said some things about me that (if they didn't know me) they wouldn't know why she would lie about something like that and likely believe her (which makes me sad... because I think some people do believe it) BUT that's somewhat irrelevant.



> I DO know that she is advertising the horse on CL as SOUND AND HEALTHY, which she is not, so now I'm wondering if it really is just a quarter crack. I'm supposed to look at her sometime this week. If the horse is worse than she is saying, I will probably pass even though I know she was depending on it so she could have her favorite summer lease. I personally don't think she will find a seller advertising her that way because most people would know something up as soon as they see special shoes and a pad on the horse and take her for dishonest. I know I would. I'm not really close to her, or know her very well and I wondered why she came to me in the first place except that maybe it's because her mom has always liked me.


We'll have to talk in person.. but definitively get a vet check!


> Ha ha, yeah his "advice" cracks me up sometimes. He ALWAYS has something to say abut me and Cinny. He even said that he doesn't think ulcers are Cinny's problem, he's just a disrespectful horse that needs to learn ground manners and how to respect it's rider and that I should run him hard in the round pen for a couple of hours not letting him stop to break him of it!


Ahaha that's okay he's bashed my riding (DURING a lesson) several times as well  I just grin and keep on ignoring hehe.



> I don't mean this in a bad way, but that was why I didn't ask you to medicate Cinny every day for me while I was gone. You have such a full plate already!
> 
> The person with the 2 horses that I also could have asked, same thing to the point that sometimes she calls other people to care for her own because she's too tired... and for some reason I think I did something to upset her as she's been a little standoffish lately. Our Guy friend I know just wants to relax with his horse after his often very long work hours. I just didn't want anyone to feel obligated or something, as I know a lot of people have a hard time saying no.


Yeah I'm like that too, I don't like putting people in awkward situations.



> I have never thought of you as rude, just so you know. I've just always thought you had your own little circle, as we are quite far apart in ages and that is the normal way of things. No that hasn't ever really bothered me. It's the people who are closer to my age. Although I will admit when you were talking to the person from the back barn last week about going on trail I was DYING to ask to go to, but I didn't because I thought to myself that I was right there, you both knew I was right there and if you wanted other people along you would have asked if I wanted to go to. I didn't want to be a butt inski.


Ah I know what you were talking about! I tend to not think through everything while I'm talking and riding, I figured if someone wanted to come (I think there was more than 3 people in the arena unless I'm wrong) they would have asked, but that's just how I am. Though- we ended up not going that next day and had to do a lot of rescheduling, etc. haha, which is probably why I usually just end up going on trails last minute so I don't have coordinate everything.



> Yeah, that's the one. When I looked at it last year I was really disgusted in the place to be honest. It's nice to hear she is cleaning it up a bit. If it wasn't so disgusting I might have moved last year ha ha.


We'll have to talk about this too in person (I've had many 'fun experience haha)  I'd warn you if you moved there- there is a fair share of drama there as well. 
[/quote]
Oh, I know who you are talking about. It's more the older daughter really, am I right? I STILL have issues with her. In fact last week she was somewhat abusing one of the horses and it was all I could do to not knock her away and grab that horse from her. It was over by the turnouts and the mom saw it but only yelled at her from the back to stop, which she did not. When she got back to the back barn the two had a loud argument you could hear in the parking lot!
[/quote]
They drive me up the WALL. There were at another stable I was at and it actually worked okay, there were 3 huge arena so I never had to ride with them or even see them. They should not own horses IMO, those 'kids' are horrible to those animals.



> I'll see if I can get a babysitter. That's my worst problem right now. I had someone I was going to interview to sit in the afternoons, but I haven't heard from her today. If you know of someone who has a couple hours free a couple days a week in the afternoons that is great with toddlers, let me know....


Text me if you can! I'll ask around


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

Cinnys Whinny said:


> That's the thing, I don't recall telling him anything about the deal, who it was...I only remember telling him that I may be getting another horse and could we find any temporary place at the stable to keep it for the 1-2 month's I'd still be there. This person used to be a boarder and everyone knows she's selling the horse, he may have put 2 and 2 together, I don't know. I just don't recall giving him any other information besides needing a stall for a few months... Kind of hard to take in a horse if you haven't arranged for a stall LOL.


 
Lol this is true ;-)


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

How is the BO getting the contact information to go behind your back to these people?


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## Cinnys Whinny (Apr 10, 2010)

mls said:


> How is the BO getting the contact information to go behind your back to these people?


She used to be a boarder where I am at, he has all of their contact info as most BO's do, LOL


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Honestly after reading everything he just sounds like he hasn't gotten the knack of being a BO and is trying to please everybody.. while also keeping his rules in place.

The boarders (from your description and Blue's) mostly follow rules but there is some disrespect coming from a few of them.

Kind of the same at my barn too.. I follow the rules but we question the BO sometimes and a lot of the older people don't really respect the BO which is a shame as the BO is learning the ropes of being successful and enforcing things. And then the rules get tighter and tighter like we're not allowed to worm our own horses (blah...) which causes more people to rebel.. it's just bad.

But still standing my ground on the fact I am stoked for you to move!


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## Cinnys Whinny (Apr 10, 2010)

Had a nice trail ride with Blue. Glad I have a place to vent. We actually had an issue with another boarder while we were there and we just sort of rolled our eyes at each other knowingly and went to do something else.

It's kind of nice to have someone there who understands, even if we don't have to actually TALK about it, and I don't feel quite so singled out. I'm still burning about some of the broken promises, but it is what it is and we are moving so I should just go down and try to enjoy my friends while I can still ride with them.


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## thesilverspear (Aug 20, 2009)

All those things would have me ****ed off as well. But moving is a pain in the ****, and in some instances it is very much a matter of considering the devil you know versus the one you don't. When I've been in similar situations -- barn driving me nuts but I only have a month or two there before moving elsewhere anyway -- I ask, "Is my horse happy and well cared for here?" If the answer is yes, then I'm inclined to man up and deal with it. If the answer is no, then the next question is, "Will moving her actually be any more stressful than staying put, if she's already unhappy here?" If things MIGHT be better at another barn and definitely won't be at current barn, then that's a chance worth taking. But as I said, I'm more likely to take that chance if I have an unhappy horse than if it's just me who isn't happy.


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## OuttatheBlue (Dec 8, 2011)

Cinnys Whinny said:


> Had a nice trail ride with Blue. Glad I have a place to vent. We actually had an issue with another boarder while we were there and we just sort of rolled our eyes at each other knowingly and went to do something else.
> 
> It's kind of nice to have someone there who understands, even if we don't have to actually TALK about it, and I don't feel quite so singled out. I'm still burning about some of the broken promises, but it is what it is and we are moving so I should just go down and try to enjoy my friends while I can still ride with them.


Trail rides are the best place to vent  That night EVERYONE who came and rode was super mad about what she did about the arena, and I think the BO had to come till the arena up, so I think (or hope) that lady will stop haha.


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