# It's like I don't even want to ride anymore.



## Kitmagic (Jan 17, 2011)

I go to a barn where I lease my horse and my sister also leases a horse there. My male trainer is the Equestrian Team coach for my high school and my mom is the treasurer.

I don't have the best relationship with my sister or my mom. My trainer can make me feel uncomfortable at times, like the things he says can be inappropriate towards females.

Whenever I go to the barn or a show, I feel very stressed out (not because of the riding or my horse, but because of the people around me). My only friend has recently found other people to hang with and often ditches me. The rest of the people on the team/at the barn are my sisters age and they are all in alliance with her.

I have allergies to hay/dust/hair and A LOT of homework. So that makes me have an excuse not to go.

I often feel like what's the point? If I don't have to go to the barn, I don't.

Don't get me wrong, I love riding and I love my horse. Those are the only reasons I haven't quit.

But how can I change myself/my point of view so that I will have more fun and actually enjoy being at the barn?

Please and thank you!


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## Lonannuniel (Jun 13, 2008)

If your trainer makes you uncomfortable, change trainers. a stressful trainer was why i started to neglect my riding. I stopped going to shows because i had no people to rely on for comfort. Maybe take a break from showing, do some fun "not so ordinary" activites with your horse, trail ride, do some jumping, just have fun. As far as the friends go, i can relate, i'm not a social person, i didn't have friends when i was on a team, and no one is around in my new barn. i've found that you need to make an alliance with your horse. Your horse is your " person " to go to. =) hope that helped.


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## Kitmagic (Jan 17, 2011)

Yes, thank you for helping!  I will try going to my horse instead of people.  I would switch trainers but my mom won't let me because they are like best friends.

But thanks anyway!


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## NicoleS11 (Nov 21, 2008)

I wouldn’t worry about the people. If you truly love riding and horses then the people shouldn’t bother you. Recently I got into team penning and I cant stand any of the people I show with. All of them are back stabbing losers…I call them the Horse Mafia. My trainer has a bunch of groupies that all follow him around and he expects the same from me but I don’t usually. I go team penning every weekend because I enjoy it and my new horse enjoys it…not to make friends. Maybe try having that mentality…


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## Kitmagic (Jan 17, 2011)

Ok, thanks. Just sometimes I get caught up in my emotions and have mental breakdowns. Even though I tell myself not to feel that way.


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## ErikaLynn (Aug 3, 2010)

Try to ignore all the barn cliques/drama, and just worry about your horse. Or maybe think of a goal you want to achieve with your horse, like teaching him a trick..like how to bow. Or maybe secretively make a goal to become a better rider than your sister. Or maybe give showing a break for a little bit and just ride for fun. 

Hope you feel better


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## NicoleS11 (Nov 21, 2008)

I let emotions get in the way all the time with my trainer. When he yells at me im constantly fighting back tears…then I just remember its nothing personal and all he wants is for me to be a better rider and I want the same thing!


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## Kitmagic (Jan 17, 2011)

Thank you for all the advice guys! I'm looking up tricks right now and maybe I will make that secret goal. Haha


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## cher40 (Nov 19, 2010)

Hi Kitmagic,

I feel for you. I had a trainer that caused me huge amounts of stress, and she also caused my horse stress. She was his last owner and I bought him from her. Every lesson I had with her she made me feel stupid and insecure. When in fact after finding a new trainer that has ridden my horse and assessed him, she tells me that he needs a complete "tune up" and how good my seat is for riding him so well. 

I literally was sick having to go to the barn to see my old trainer. I felt like I was having panic attacks, that is how bad it was. I cried a lot, thinking I made a huge mistake buying a horse. 

I also avoid the barn when a lot of the "girls" are in there. Some feel superior and I could care less. I'm there to learn and ride my horse. It's supposed to fun! Now I go to the barn and my lessons with a smile on my face and excited to learn. 

Don't give up riding. Juts like everything in life you have a choice. If you don't like the coach, get a new one. I'm in construction and everyday I make decisions if a contractor is not working out, I find a new one. 

Good luck to you.


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