# What? I'm writing a book? (no name yet)



## Roanwatch (Apr 1, 2014)

Well, I don't typically ever finish anything that I start and I have no plans on being an author, but I still like to write. Please critic and help me. It is not a book about horses exactly, but horses do play big roles in the story.

As for the description, this is what I've come up with, "War has raged the lands for countless years, ever since the tectonic plates brought all of the countries back together to once again form the great continent of Pangea. That was in the year of 2173. Now it is 2389, and fate and disaster has drug Alyssia and her friends into a battle for their beloved home. With the guidance of a mysterious guardian, will she be able to keep her home from crumbling to ashes?"


This is a chapter in the book, but not the first one I don't think. I want to write a couple chapters before this one and lead up to it, and build more of a character for Ally. Please help come up with a name, critic harshly. This is just a rough draft of one of the chapters.

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A single thought kept racing through my mind. _They are coming after us_. I heard the hoof-beats behind me, and listened to my own frantic breathing. My heart was pounding heavily against my chest. Leaning closer to my horse’s neck, I urged her to run faster, to carry us out of harm’s way. The woods flew by us in a blur of autumn colors, the leaves crunching underneath the horses’ hooves. Despite the chilly weather, sweat ran down my back. The trees started to thin out, and light shines through the leaves ahead of us. 

We broke out of the trees and a clearing stretched out ahead of us. I guided the horse to run left, to hide along the tree line. I didn’t want the riders’ to see me out in the open. I turned my head and peeked underneath my elbow. _Good, they haven’t broken through the trees yet_. Right after that thought a large solid black horse emerged from the woods, his rider not yet seeing me. Hounds tore through the thick brush soon after. One glanced my way and set off the alarm. The rider pulled up his horse and faced me. I managed to glimpse a long crooked scar that made its way across his face before I turned away. 

Crouching ever closer to my horse’s red neck, I whispered, “We can do this Firefly… please, help keep us safe.” The horse stretched out her strides and managed to muster even more speed. I can now hear the rest of the riders hollering behind me, and the hounds crying. 

Suddenly the hoof beats and howling stopped. Instead, the noise was replaced by sounds of confusion and angered shouts. I pulled up my mare and turned to take in the scene. The pursuers had their swords drawn, and were facing a lone rider on a ghostly grey horse. Scar Face sat on his horse in front of the mysterious rider, while about half a dozen others winged him. They seemed to be talking, but I was too far away to hear much more than the pitches of their voices. The man on the grey seemed to have said something that angered Scar Face, as his face twisted in rage before he charged and engaged battle with the man. 

Scar Face swung his sword and slashed through the other man’s metal chain, creating a deep gash on his shoulder. The man, at this point I’ve decided to call him “Ghost”, pivots his horse away from Scar Face, seemingly not caring about his new injury. The grey started to jig around them, pinning his ears against his pale skull and snaking his head out to bite at the black. Ghost thrust his sword at Scar Face and caught him on his side. Scar Face flinched and swerved his horse away, and he spun around to face Ghost again. Both riders cue their horses to start running, and they race towards each other. _I really shouldn’t be watching this, I ought to be running for my life... not waiting to see who wins! _I watched as the riders deflected each other’s swords, the ringing sound of metal clashing seemed to ring through the air. 

Firefly jumps at the sound, throwing her head up high in obvious fright. I reach down and rub her neck, whispering “easy, easy” to her repeatedly. I just cannot draw my eyes from the battle. _Why is this man, Ghost, defending me? What have I ever done for him? I do not even know him… Maybe he had something against Scar Face to begin with? That is all that I can figure_. My mare twitched an ear, listening to my reassurance. I doubt that she felt convinced, but at least she is not bolting. 

As Scar Face ran by Ghost, he twisted in the saddle and slashed Ghost down his back, laying his skin and muscle open. Ghost screamed and hunched over, nearly losing his balance. Ghost spun his horse around as the black ran behind him, and swung his sword at the horse. Scar Face’s horse stumbled as the sword cut his left flank and hindquarter, tossing his rider. I drew my eyes away from the motionless rider to see Ghost galloping his horse… right at me. Gasping, I guided Firefly away and squeezed my lower legs around her barrel. He may have helped me by stopping the men, but I realized that there is no reason why he wouldn’t hurt me. 

_Firefly is tired, but Ghost is gaining on me… what am I supposed to do_? I can hear them drawing nearer, so I turn back into the trees. I also have to worry about Scar Face’s men, they may also be after me still. In the corner of my right eye, I can see a grey blur etching closer. 

“Wait! I am not going to hurt you! Don’t go!”

I glance at him. He has dark brown hair and green eyes that look sincere. He wears clothes made out of tanned leather and a chain mail vest. This man, or should I say boy, definitely does not look like he comes from a wealthy family, so I doubt that he is the son of some ruler. He looks believable, but I don’t know if I can trust this complete stranger… it is possible that he can be a good liar. I glance at him again, and decide to trust him. I slow Firefly to a walk, and he does the same for his horse. 

I study his face as he pulls up beside me. Several emotions play across his face; such as relief, and for a split second I see the pain that his injuries must be causing him. He quickly fixes his facial expression into a genuine looking smile. I notice with a start that his eyes don’t look green anymore, but more of a brown… I guess his eyes are hazel. His face is lean and he has a square jaw. Shaggy dark brown hair falls into his eyes, and he brushes it aside. “I am sorry that I have scared you… I didn’t mean to. I just saw you in trouble. I assume that you are a Runner?”

I don’t know why, but all I can do is stare at him. I don’t know what to say, honestly. “Umm…” _Come on, think Ally! Certainly you can come up with something better than that? _ ‘What is a Runner, Ghost?” Really... I couldn’t come up with anything better than that?

He laughs, and asks, “Why do you call me Ghost?”

Whoops. Way to go, ya dodo head. Of course I had to slip the little name I made for him. Dang, I’m flipping brilliant. “Oh, uh, because of your horse… I, well… it’s the first stupid thing that popped into my head when I saw you and your horse. I am sorry.”

“Ah, gotcha. ‘Cause my stallion is pale grey. Makes sense. On a more serious note, you are not a Runner? A Runner is someone who relays messages back and forth between the cities. Rival cities like to take Runners out, to weaken the connections.” At this time he winces and hunches forward. His face is starting to get a sickly pale color to it.

Worry rushes through me. I leap from Firefly and walk up to him. I stand beside him as I study his wounds. They need stitches, but we are a good couple days riding distance from the nearest city. My fingers trace the edge of the wound on his back, and he shudders. I quickly draw my hand away and look away. “I can clean and bandage these. You can’t go without care until you get to a city, you will bleed too much or get an infection. I can’t stitch these, but I have medicine and bandages. The wounds look clean and are not too deep.” 

He nods his head, and clumsily dismounts his horse. He motions me to follow him, and he leads me to a brook. I watch the way he stumbles around and limps. If the wounds didn’t bother him before, they sure do now. Nearby sits a small plateau of rocks, which he sits on. “This is where I often stop to rest between cities. We should be reasonably safe here. Now, why don’t we introduce ourselves? Ladies first.” 

Sitting a few feet from him, I introduce myself in the fashion that my birth city expects us to. “My name is Alyssia Fae Floyd, I come from the great city of Caelum. I am the daughter of Freya and Sirius Floyd. I was born in the year of twenty-three seventy-three.” I turn to where my chestnut mare stood. “This is my mare, Firefly. She is six years old. I’ve had her since the day that she was born, my parents owned her dam.” He looks me over while I speak. I know exactly what he sees. A short, childish looking girl with auburn hair and grey eyes. No way do I look seventeen. He then admires my horse. A strong, tall red chestnut mare with a large, swirling star on her forehead and uneven socks on her front legs. 

While he talked, I busied myself with preparing his bandages. “Nice to meet you, Alyssia. What a pretty name. I suppose that I have to introduce myself now?” He chuckled, amused by something that I am unaware of. “Well, darling, my name is Sebastian Saint Carter. I belong to no city, although my birth city is Pyxis, which is actually not far from your Caelum. You see, Runners don’t get to stay in their birth city, we live wherever our messages take us. When I saw you out here on your own being chased by those men, I thought you were a Runner.” 

I didn’t realize that Runners were the ones that relayed the messages. How can someone not belong to a city? My eyes darted to the blood-stained shirt and torn chain mail. “Sebastian... I need to bandage your wounds. I don’t suppose that you have an extra shirt?”

“No, I don’t. I am stuck with this one till I reach Pavo.” I motion to him to take off his shirt so that I could apply the medicated salve. The healing medication smelled faintly of mint. “By the way, why are you out here? If you have a city, why are you in the wilderness?” I felt his gaze, but I didn’t dare look up.

“I’ve got a city to save. The leaders of Caelum have been fighting with those of Taurus for years, since the beginning of Pangea and the start of the cities. It is well known.“ He lifted his shirt from his back, and I tried not to stare at his athletic looking build and smooth muscles as I applied the medication. I placed bandages on the wounds on his back and shoulder, and then wrapped them._ I hope that these stay. I don’t have many bandages left. _

“Is that so? How do you expect to do that? One teenager is not going to be able to save a city on her own. Do you even have any war skills?”

“No, but I come from a war family. Both of my parents have worked as Officers.”

He stood up and grabbed my right upper arm, looking me in my eyes. Mixed emotions danced across his face as he said, “Let me help you.”


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## Roanwatch (Apr 1, 2014)

Dang, that didn't separate the paragraphs out very much. I am sorry.


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## klstarrs (Dec 8, 2015)

It is very hard to read on screen but it sounds interesting.. have you got the basic plot outline for the story and definately having a bit more character info would help with picking a title.


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

Sorry about the font change. I only meant to change the size and put the spaces in for you. The computer changed the actual font itself.


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## Roanwatch (Apr 1, 2014)

Thank you very much for changing that lol! It turned out so tiny, I just copied and pasted it from the document. So is it worthwhile continuing?


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

I think it is


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## JoBlueQuarter (Jan 20, 2017)

I really love this story @Roanwatch! Please keep writing!!


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