# Another barn problem!



## tinyliny

I would hate to spend 6 days a week waiting to be happy on the 7th. move.


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## DancingArabian

Why are you so concerned about people who aren't that concerned about you? If the BO and those kids were your friends, or cared about you, they would not be treating you so poorly.

Life's too short to fill it with toxic people.


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## DuckDodgers

DancingArabian said:


> Why are you so concerned about people who aren't that concerned about you? If the BO and those kids were your friends, or cared about you, they would not be treating you so poorly.
> 
> Life's too short to fill it with toxic people.


I do agree, but that's much easier said than done when you're not the victim of the gossip. The horse world can be small and cruel.

I think you already know what you need to do- move. And you're just asking the question to get reassurance on this fact... which is fine. But, yeah, you need to go where you will be happy. If you're already taking lessons regularly with this trainer, it has a better atmosphere, and the horse will be well cared for then I would say go for it. You'll just have to be straightforward with your barn owner and say that you cannot deal with gossipy little girls that won't leave you alone, and you aren't happy being around them. You need to do what's best for yourself and your horse.

I'm leaving my current barn (which I LOVE in a lot of ways) halfway because of the barn owner's disrespectful, lying, and irritating beyond reason granddaughter. The other half of the reason is being dissatisfied with the care. I'll be the first to tell people to be honest with people when giving notice for such matters, but when it came time to tell my barn manager why I was leaving the only thing I could come out with was "I just can't deal with that little girl anymore!!!" Couldn't find it in myself to make any mention of the care issues :-|


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## horselovinguy

Move, period.

Your needs have changed. The current boarding barn no longer is fulfilling those needs, so move on.

As for the "girls"...you are _*not*_ one of them any longer.
You have matured as happens usually at some point in your life. At your age I would suspect you no longer have so much in common with little girls who are not independent of their parents to take them everyplace, go to school, and life revolves around being in a "girly click"...
You no longer need to be part of the pack/click but are still finding your wings to adulthood, hence the "what do I do" post...

It is time to move forth with your life. Expand your knowledge at the next phase of your riding...
You can remain on friendly terms with the current "Barn Owners"... but leave the children behind.

Remember talk is cheap, time to get a thicker skin about what the "children" are saying because if you don't now, you will have problems all your life long if someone has something negative to say to or about you.
Being an adult sometimes stinks cause no one is going to stick up for you but you, nor is anyone else going to fix or deal with those issues but you...
Welcome to being a adult in a adult world... a great place if you make it one, can be a PITA if you allow that too.

You already know what you need to do, now act upon it.
Don't burn bridges with the BO...give them notice you are leaving. 
They _have_ been good and more than fair to you, but as your needs change you need to move to a place that those needs are now fed with information and opportunities to advance...
Best of luck in reaching your goals and enjoy the journey getting there.
:wink:

_jmo..._


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## Rideordie112

Thank you guys, I guess this post was mostly just for reassurance, I'm still in the whole "wow, I'm an adult" mindset. I'm clinging to the place that made me happy when I was a kid, but ever since I was 16 or so, I haven't found any real joy there. I guess it is time to move, I'm tired of the girls being bratty, they call me a traitor for taking lessons at the other barn anyways. 
And about the needing to get thicker skin, you're right. I do, I've been sensitive my entire life. And I don't want it to affect me negatively throughout adult hood. 
I need to move barns, but I just don't know what to say to the BO. She's been like a mother to me for so long.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DancingArabian

No she really hasn't been like a mother to you. A mother doesn't allow that type of environment nor does she encourage it by adding fuel to the fire.

The kids are jealous and are being hateful because that's the only way they know how to deal with their emotions. They can't take lessons at multiple barns, they can't just trailer out when they please. They want what you have and if they can't have it they will be darned  if you enjoy it if they can't make you stop and be on the same level as them and be stuck in one place.

You say you love it there but do you really? You haven't said what you love about it NOW, only that you did once upon a time. Do not confuse something that once gave you joy for something that currently gives you joy. They are not the same. You haven't been happy for TWO YEARS in a place that is supposed to be THE place of happiness for you.

Don't feel sad. Be outraged. Leave with your head held high. If their only complaint is that you took lessons at other barns, what does that say about the situation?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## barrelracer892

Move. The past is the past, this is the present. Presently, you're not happy at your current barn. You're happier at your new trainer's barn. It's perfectly ok to move on. You will breathe a sigh of relief when you do.


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## barrelracer892

Rideordie112 said:


> Thank you guys, I guess this post was mostly just for reassurance, I'm still in the whole "wow, I'm an adult" mindset. I'm clinging to the place that made me happy when I was a kid, but ever since I was 16 or so, I haven't found any real joy there. I guess it is time to move, I'm tired of the girls being bratty, they call me a traitor for taking lessons at the other barn anyways.
> And about the needing to get thicker skin, you're right. I do, I've been sensitive my entire life. And I don't want it to affect me negatively throughout adult hood.
> I need to move barns, but I just don't know what to say to the BO. She's been like a mother to me for so long.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Tell her you have a wonderful learning opportunity at the other place. You thank her for all she has done for you, but it's time to gain new experiences. She will understand and be glad that you're able to advance and do more with horses.


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## Mulefeather

Rideordie, I read through your issue with Stitch and the girl who wanted to ride him without your permission (and what a bucketload of crazy THAT was!). You seem like you are wise beyond your years and you've got a good head on your shoulders. 

As far as what to say to your BO, I would be diplomatic and businesslike about it. Don't mention issues with other boarders- people can take things like that VERY personally and often it's more trouble than it's worth to mention. Just keep it straight down to you and the horse, and his training. Think of it like a letter of resignation from a job- you want to keep things positive and not burn your bridges, because you never know when you might need them again. 

"Dear (Barn owner),

I regret to inform you that I will be moving my horse on (X Date) to a new barn. 

I have enjoyed my time here at (barn) since I was a child, and I cannot thank you enough for all you and your staff have done for me over the years. You are truly like family to me. 

My riding has gone in a new direction where I will likely be showing H/J this year, and unfortunately the logistics and stress of constantly trailering Stitch to lessons is taking a toll on both myself and the horse. Since I want to focus intensely on showing this year, I feel it is in my best interest to move to where I can have greater access to lessons and guidance from my coach as we approach show season. 

You have a wonderful facility and again, I am so thankful to have been part of the 'family' here for so long. You have taken such wonderful care of myself and my horses and I will miss you all. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns."

This lets you, other boarders, and the BO save face, and does not call anyone out. In any place where you are facing a difficult culture where you are unhappy much of the time, sometimes it's best to simply bow out gracefully and go to someplace that makes you happier, rather than trying to swim upstream.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians

Most of the time I'm of the, "Be happy where you are, don't go looking for a place to make you happy" mindset. There are notable exceptions to that rule though. Toxic environment is a big one and changed goals and needs is another. You've outgrown the current barn and need to move on, just like some day you will need to move out of the house and go to college and then you'll move on to a job and so on. 

Those girls will talk about you for 15 mins or less, once out of sight you'll be out of mind. The BO will understand your need to move on and I agree with DA, she's not a mother or she'd put a halt to some of the nastiness. I wouldn't dwell on that though when you tell her you're moving, just tell her that you're moving to further your training and need more full time instruction from the other trainer and it only makes sense to move your horse there. Give her 30 days but.....be ready and have an open stall at the other place in case you need to move NOW. Things can get ugly for some reason when you're changing barns. When I was about your age, my mother had called looking at more advanced trainers for me and my current trainer's boyfriend was breaking horses at one of the barns she called. He saw the message and went home and told my trainer about it. I showed up for my next lesson and she kicked me out of her barn. I hadn't even talked to the other trainer yet. So, be ready.


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## horselovinguy

Mulefeather said:


> "Dear (Barn owner),
> 
> I regret to inform you that I will be moving my horse on (X Date) to a new barn.
> 
> I have enjoyed my time here at (barn) since I was a child, and I cannot thank you enough for all you and your staff have done for me over the years. You are truly like family to me.
> 
> *My riding has gone in a new direction where I will likely be showing H/J this year, and unfortunately the logistics and stress of constantly trailering Stitch to lessons is taking a toll on both myself and the horse. Since I want to focus intensely on showing this year, I feel it is in my best interest to move to where I can have greater access to lessons and guidance from my coach as we approach show season. *
> 
> You have a wonderful facility and again, I am so thankful to have been part of the 'family' here for so long. You have taken such wonderful care of myself and my horses and I will miss you all. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns."


I like this except *for this part.*
I would leave this out...to me sounds like a put down to the current boarding barn & trainer and you _don't_ want that...bridges you know...

_Many very good points by barrel, dancing and mule....._

Make your plans with the new barn before you notify the current one, have a escape plan in case of a blow-up of issues, and if all works out...you go out the door with a hug, sniff of tears and a hearty good luck and go get'm from the BO/trainer...
If it is miserable, notify the new barn you will be there in ?? hours or day and go sooner.

Either way it* is* time to go, to move on to a new, broader, higher expectations and learning environment.
:wink:


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## DuckDodgers

horselovinguy said:


> I like this except *for this part.*
> I would leave this out...to me sounds like a put down to the current boarding barn & trainer and you _don't_ want that...bridges you know...
> 
> _Many very good points by barrel, dancing and mule....._
> 
> Make your plans with the new barn before you notify the current one, have a escape plan in case of a blow-up of issues, and if all works out...you go out the door with a hug, sniff of tears and a hearty good luck and go get'm from the BO/trainer...
> If it is miserable, notify the new barn you will be there in ?? hours or day and go sooner.
> 
> Either way it* is* time to go, to move on to a new, broader, higher expectations and learning environment.
> :wink:


Good advice that I always give anyone- have a plan in case the barn owner explodes when you tell her and you have to leave TODAY. You don't want to be stuck with a homeless horse in that scenario!


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## Mulefeather

Horselovingguy, I re-read and I tend to agree with you. In this case it may be a good example of "least said, soonest mended". And I do agree with having your ducks already lined up before giving notice. Some people take a business transaction and make it personal, even people you have known for years.


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## SlideStop

I agree with moving, but two cautions: 

1. Sometimes the grass is always greener on the other side. Unfortunately many larger or commercial barns have drama and 16 year old girls. You may not see it because your still a "guest" there. 

2. Never burn your bridges!! Who knows when you might need the help of your old trainer or to move back to that barn.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Saddlebag

I would mention what is going on and how you are finding yourself less and less able to disregard it. When I rode at a large stable the BO made it clear to everyone that none of this would go on, that we were a team and as such help others when needed. He had a long waiting list for boarding spaces, but because everyone liked the atmosphere, vacancies rarely came up. I'm sure your BO would want to know about this because the barn gets a reputation and prospective boarders look elsewhere.


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## Rideordie112

Thank you for all the wonderful advice you guys. I've accepted that I need to move, and I think once I've got everything set up at the other place, I'll give the BO notice and talk to her personally. 

I'm actually really scared, this is the first thing I've had to do as an adult on my own. My lovely mom offered to help me out and talk to the BO for me. But for as long as I've known her and being 18 now I think I have to do this one on my own. 

The BO and trainer there will be angry, they do not like the barn I've been taking lessons at, and have been taking the whole thing quite personally, I've just been trying to not bring it up in conversation so there would be no awkward moments. 

As far as the other barn potentially having drama as well, I doubt it, as it is not a traditional boarding stable. It's a training stable, where you send your horses to be trained. There are 6 other girls including the BOs daughter, that are all my age and older (21 being the oldest) 
And not only do I fit in there, I expressed my problems at my current barn with the BO and friends at the new stable and the BO assured me that Stitch and I will always have a place there. 

The facilities are nicer, bigger, better quality. There's more space for stitch to be. It's just all around nicer. 

5 months ago when I started riding there, I was going to send stitch to training, but instead, and to my surprise I was welcomed like family. I ride with them, spend time with them outside of lessons, and go to shows and events with them. The BO has taken me under her wing there and introduced me to higher level rated shows, and honestly I'm shocked by how much I fit in, in such little time. 

So I know that's a better place for me. I'm just scared of leaving my current barn. It's become kind of a security blanket to me even though I'm not truly happy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aureliusandoinky

I know exactly how you feel. I usually have my horses at my house but I boarded through the winter and fall, and I really liked it at first, but after awhile being around the bratty, gossipy girls was too much for me to handle. It was becoming super depressing when I went to see my horses, and I was so glad when my trainer thought I could take care of the rest of my horses training and bring them home. I would definitely say you should move. Being downtrodden when you go see your horse sucks and it should be a happy experience. Going to the barn shouldn't be a stressful thing.


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## SullysRider

Does the new barn regularly show rated shows? Is it a big training barn? If so you will definitely run into TONS of gossip and drama. They don't call them hunter princesses for nothing! Honestly there's going to be some sort of drama at any barn, you have to decide how much you can put up with. But at any H/J barn you are going to get a ton of drama and gossip, just how it goes in that world. The bigger show barns are the worst. Not trying to discourage you from moving, just being realistic from someone who's very involved with the hunter world.


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## Rideordie112

It's not a big show barn though, there's 5 girls. Al in college. Who just go to shows and clinics together when they have the chance. And yeah, they show in some rated shows. But it's not like a super tense, strictly h/j barn. The trainer wants her students to have well rounded horses, we do cow stuff, trail trials, eventing etc.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Saddlebag

Do not make assumptions that the BO and trainer will react in a negative way. If they do, they are shooting themselves in the foot. Keep positive thoughts and it will go well.


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## Rideordie112

I know I should be thinking more positively. But they were quite negative when I started taking lessons at the other barn because they didn't like the trainer. I'm sure they wouldn't be happy at all if went there.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DancingArabian

Remember that you don't have to justify your decision. They might question you or try for all you out of it or try a guilt trip.

Don't fall for it.

As an adult, you are your own advocate. No one will take better care of you than you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rideordie112

Oh, and also, i'd like to thank all of you for always following my posts and giving me advice! I appreciate it very much.

Today after school I went out to see Stitch and ride some and I got the same cold looks from the girls, and the BOs son made some snide comment when he saw me saddling Stitch with my western saddle. He said "Oh... so today's a western day, huh?" and then scoffed and walked off. The barn where i am at currently is primarily western, so me riding english at the other place just ticks them off.

I wasn't happy with that comment, but I tried not to let it bum me out. I didn't want to ride in the arena, it was too full. So i went out to the obstacle course beside it and did my warm up, and then when I started trotting I was posting.

Of course, since I was posting the trainer there had to say "Why are you posting? you shouldn't post. Sit" Not only do I prefer posting because it's easier on my back than sitting Stitch's horrendous trot, I feel it is good for me to practice. 

That's just an example of a day at the barn, everyone is so quick to get in my business.


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## stevenson

You are a client to the boarding owners and a pay check to the trainers. You may have a form of friendship, but if you took away the amount you paid for board you would probably not have a friend.


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## Rideordie112

stevenson said:


> You are a client to the boarding owners and a pay check to the trainers. You may have a form of friendship, but if you took away the amount you paid for board you would probably not have a friend.


I never really thought about it that way before.


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## barrelracer892

stevenson said:


> You are a client to the boarding owners and a pay check to the trainers. You may have a form of friendship, but if you took away the amount you paid for board you would probably not have a friend.


 
That could be very true! Money buys lots of things. 


Ordie, you're going to be so happy when you move. Of course you don't want to burn bridges, but don't worry about hurting feelings when you tell them you're leaving. You have to take care of yourself. Keep us posted on how everything goes. Best of luck! You've got this


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## loveye

Please move. I have been in situations like this and I felt much better when I moved. My trainer was actually happy for me but I did receive a lot of scorn from riders. I dealt with bullying, cliques, rude people, etc for many years and when I was younger I would shake at the thought of going to the barn. It got better as I got older but I still kind of hold a grudge.
Not to alarm you but drama may happen when you move. Other riders started rumors about me like crazy. The worst one was when I got pulled aside by the owner of the barn I was at then and told that she had received an email that I had been kicked out of my old barn for stealing even though I had left only because I wanted to. At the time she wouldn't tell me who had sent the email but I eventually learned from other people who it was. Stuff probably will happen but all the the things that may happen should not trump your happiness.
I would move, you will feel like weight has been lifted off your shoulders but just harden yourself and be prepared.


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## Rideordie112

Today I was going to talk to my BO after my ride. But then tragedy struck.

So there is this hill, that is perfect for a nice gallop. And I was on a trail ride with the other girls (more like I went out by myself, and they caught up with me. And I didn't wanna be rude and leave). So we got to the hill, and one girl suggested that we all run up the hill. 

Normally I'd be down for that, but all last week it had been pouring rain and flooding. The hill was slick, although not very steep it was as if the water and smoothed out the surface that definitely wouldn't make it safe to go any faster than a walk. 

So I told them the footing didn't seem good. And that we shouldn't do it, and of course one of them said "you're so lame!" And then they all took off past me (6 of them! And stitch being the saint he is didn't even attempt to brake from a walk) 

Well anyways 5 of them got up the hill safely, and the one horse in the back couldn't keep up. He slid on the slick ground and fell down at a full gallop throwing the girl over his head. 

She was fine, just scraped up. But he was not. His leg was broken, right there. In front of me, this girl caused this sweet geldings leg to break. He was put down on the spot because he couldn't get up. And he didn't even belong to her, he was her lease horse. 

I can't help but feel like I should have said more to stop them. 

I'm tired of being around idiots, and now an innocent horse has died for it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DuckDodgers

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that this has happened  I'm sad to hear that the horse had to suffer because of these girls. You need to get out of there, especially if they're taking risks and not even allowing you to be on a trail ride alone.

My horse usually couldn't care less, but one think I hate is when people in a group take off without it being ok with everyone in the group. I've seen a number of horses freak out when it happens, and usually people don't bother to ask first...


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## SullysRider

It is not your fault about that, I doubt anything you said would have been heard by them. Do not beat yourself up over what happened, it won't do any good.


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## horselovinguy

I'm sorry you had to witness that.

It is the opening you searched for, take it.

Tell the barn owner you are moving. 
Now you can add....
"You need to distance yourself from those that through sheer carelessness and thoughtlessness about their horses caused one a life-ending injury.
You treasure her years of educating you and working with you but you need to move away from these people.
It_ isn't_ her _it is_ them and it is easier for you to move than for her to lose multiple boarders and students or one."
Give her a date and go...the burden then falls on those "girls" as the catalyst of your leaving.

Good luck and get out!.

_jmo in this now sad situation..._


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians

I'm so sorry you had to see that. That's just awful. And I'm with HLG and the others, pack it up and call it quits.


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## Rideordie112

Thanks guys for the support. I am going out of town tomorrow, but I am going out of town tomorrow, and then on Saturday I can talk to the BO. I would have loved to try to work it out and make everything perfect again, but after witnessing the death of one of the very horses that taught me how to ride as a little kid, I just can't do it.
I'm shook up, and personally I think that girl should be kicked out for what she has done. 

This barn's reputation is going downhill quickly, it was already known as a gossipy place, then there was the whole riding Stitch without my permission, and now this!


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## stevenson

lock your horse up . give the BO a key . tehy may need a new horse to ride. and move . 
you keep adding up more and more drama there.


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## KigerQueen

I dont know if i could LIVE with myself is I killed a horse! Especially if it could have been avoided! That is just horrible... Well the horse is in a better place now.


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## barrelracer892

Holy cow that's awful... I can't even imagine having to witness that. Horselovinguy is right. Now is your perfect opportunity to leave.


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## Zexious

Wow.

I would definitely move. I'm not sure who's footing the bills for your board/lessons, but horses are way too expensive not to enjoy. You should move to the place where you feel comfortable, and where riders aren't doing stupid things to injure/kill horses that don't even belong to them 
Of course there will be gossip everywhere, but this sounds ridiculous. 

Let us know how the talk goes.


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## NorthernMama

I would not mention the injury and subsequent death of the horse in your reason for moving. You already had your mindset before that for valid personal reasons. The accident is only reflective of coincidental timing. The poor girl that was riding that horse feels terrible too I'm sure. 

I liked the earlier post about thanking the BO for the time you have had there and that you did have lots of positive experiences. Your reasons for moving are personal. Don't try to make it about pointing fingers. You don't need any more reason than just that it's time for you to move. 

However, if I were a BO, I would probably ask if you had any specific concerns or problems causing you to leave. Depending on your relationship you may have a chance to gently tell her that you feel you are maturing beyond the general age group of the barn. And, please, do tell her that you appreciated her full support when you had trouble with the other girl riding your horse.


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## Mulefeather

Oh my goodness Rideordie. What a horrible thing to witness, especially for an animal you had learned to ride on. I do feel bad for the girl as I'm sure this was a terrible lesson for her to learn as well, with the high price tag of a horse's life. 

I do stick to my earlier advice about just leaving with a positive spin, and keep your reasons close to your chest. If she allowed these elements into the barn and kept allowing them to keep up their crummy behavior right under her nose, odds are that she's not going to listen. 

Sometimes people like that only learn when it hits them where it hurts- IE, their wallet. Money talks, and when you're not giving people the environment they need to be happy, money WALKS.


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## horselovinguy

Mulefeather said:


> Oh my goodness Rideordie. What a horrible thing to witness, especially for an animal you had learned to ride on. I do feel bad for the girl as I'm sure this was a terrible lesson for her to learn as well, with the high price tag of a horse's life.
> 
> I do stick to my earlier advice about just leaving with a positive spin, and keep your reasons close to your chest. If she allowed these elements into the barn and kept allowing them to keep up their crummy behavior right under her nose, odds are that she's not going to listen.
> 
> Sometimes people like that only learn when it hits them where it hurts- IE, their wallet. Money talks, and when you're not giving people the environment they need to be happy, money WALKS.



Very good advice Mule...

I rescind my part about including the girls. It isn't needed!
Go back to the previous posts and just get out as fast as you can. Don't wait anymore, just go.


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## Rideordie112

Thank you everyone. Tomorrow when I get home from the Bay Area, I'll talk to my new trainer about a spot at her place, and then I'll talk to my current BO. 

I'm hoping to leave on good terms, back in October another girl packed up and left. But she left with nothing but a text message, and that didn't go over will with everyone. But I certainly won't be like that. 

I'm hoping this new place will be better, there are better facilities for Stitch, and better opportunities for me. I'm trying to think of the happy side of things instead of being sad. 

I kind of had a feeling that after that girl was riding my horse, things weren't going to go back to normal. Especially with the other girls, who some of them were her friend. 

One more issue, if I move, my little sister will probably continue taking lessons there, I'm not sure if that will be uncomfortable. Or okay.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stevenson

cant your sister take lessons at the new place ? seems it would be easier on your parents having to just go to one barn ? take you both and not be having to taxi from one place to another to another.


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## Rideordie112

Well, I take my horse by myself, my mom just accompanies me on occassion. And the problem with her taking lessons at the new place, is it is not an actual lesson stable, they have no beginner school horses. And the lessons they do give are either to advanced riders, or clients who have horses in training with them
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KigerQueen

Well see if they give her issues. Worst case is that you could possibly teach your sister.


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## Rideordie112

That's a good point, Kiger. I could do that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanisMom

Part of becoming an adult is making hard decisions and taking responsibility for your own happiness. Move and be happy.


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## Rideordie112

Hey all! Sorry I haven't updated this.

Last time I posted I had my heart set on moving, and well I still want to, and I still have a spot at the other barn. I haven't.

The death of the lesson horse has caused a lot of trouble, and to top that off the head trainer found out her cancer is back, and she was asking if I'd help out during lessons and stuff.

I didn't know how to tell her no, especially during such a sensitive time. So while i'm trying to be helpful, the girls are still tormenting me. They pick at every little thing they can.

Stitch is clipped, so I must be letting him get sunburn during the day, and freeze at night. So therefore i'm a bad horse owner. I am the only one who rides english, and rides with some contact on his mouth, therefore i'm pulling his face. I mean the darn comments never end. I'm trying to ignore them, but it's hard.

I'm beginning to just shut down completely out there. But I feel like I can't leave while they're down, especially since I once found refuge at that barn.

A specific incident happened today, the barn staff asked me to hold a boarders horse while they got a bigger halter, and as I was holding the horse the owner (a 40 something year old adult, and her 15 year old daughter) come barging around the corner demanding I don't put their horse back in the pasture. ( Mind you, I just got to the barn, so I had no idea what had happened) 

They pointed out a huge bite mark on his back, and claimed that my horse did it; and demanded that Stitch be moved to another pasture, away from their horse immediately. I asked how they knew it was my horse, and they said nothing but "There hasn't been any problems in that field, until you put Stitch up there."

That made me mad, so I just moved my horse to the lower field so they'd shut up.

OH AND GET THIS: to top it all off, the girl who was riding my horse without my permission. I saw her and her dad at the barn today. Apparently they're begging to come back. Because they still haven't found a place that willl take their horses. 

Kill. Me. Now


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## verona1016

Sorry to hear it hasn't gotten better :-(

Could you possibly move your horse, but still come back to the old barn to help the BO when she needs it?


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## Rideordie112

verona1016 said:


> Sorry to hear it hasn't gotten better :-(
> 
> Could you possibly move your horse, but still come back to the old barn to help the BO when she needs it?


I could do that, I'm just really afraid of hurting people. I am pretty much a pansy


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## KigerQueen

I understand but sometimes you need to think about what is best for you and your horse. Im so done with my barn and BOs husband yelling at me (He LOVES to mentally abuse women, but he will mind his Ps and Qs with my bf there) for things that are not my fault of within my control. I dont see my mare as much because of it. I went from seeing her every day to maybe once a week. Now my mare is having major issues ending in me being unable to ride her (No arena because its now a turn out with 5 horses in it at all times and I will NOT handle other peoples horses to use the arena. She has turned into a nervous mess that freaks me out and we feed off each other until I end up hurt), and ends in me being tossed then dragged this past weekend (Lovely start to my 3 day horse camping trip). 

Move your horse. Help with lessons and thats it. Tell the Bo that you would love to stay but you don't want to come to the barn anymore because of thoughts girls. Be honest and then move.


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## Chasin Ponies

DanisMom said:


> Part of becoming an adult is making hard decisions and taking responsibility for your own happiness. Move and be happy.


It's so obvious that you have outgrown this "kid's barn" and that it is time to make the move. Boarding stables that are run by spoiled, entitled children are miserable places to be. You are now in a situation where the thing you love most has become nothing but an activity filled with worry and dread.
Stop volunteering for things, weighing the pros and cons (and it sounds like there are very few pros!) and just move your horse. This hassle has effected your peace of mind on a daily basis and that's no way to live.
Your whole adult life will be filled with these kinds of problems and this is the beginning of deciding how you will react to them. 
Just move your horse-you have the right to be happy and not feel guilty!


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## churumbeque

part of being mature is making tough decisions. Please move. It is your job to take care of you and your horse and no one else. It is never going to be a good time. Just pull the bandaid and get it over with. Sounds like there are plenty of people around that could pitch in.


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## DancingArabian

Why is it that you like being abused and mistreated? You should consider talking to a therapist as you're unwilling to remove yourself from a situation that is emotionally bad for you. I worry that this is going to be a bigger problem for you in the future and could end up with you dead at the hands of a bad boyfriend.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rideordie112

I know you guys are all right. I need to move. I need to grow up as well. My excuses for staying are invalid. I don't want to hurt the BO and trainer, but I shouldn't sacfrice my happiness. 

I do see a therapist, for other things. And I've never had problems with boyfriends I was in a toxic relationship, but I got out of it. I knew that eventually he'd truly hurt me. So I left. 

I honestly don't know what's so hard about leaving this barn.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ladygodiva1228

Rideordie112 said:


> Hey all! Sorry I haven't updated this.
> 
> Last time I posted I had my heart set on moving, and well I still want to, and I still have a spot at the other barn. I haven't.
> 
> The death of the lesson horse has caused a lot of trouble, and to top that off the head trainer found out her cancer is back, and she was asking if I'd help out during lessons and stuff.
> 
> I didn't know how to tell her no, especially during such a sensitive time. So while i'm trying to be helpful, the girls are still tormenting me. They pick at every little thing they can.
> 
> Stitch is clipped, so I must be letting him get sunburn during the day, and freeze at night. So therefore i'm a bad horse owner. I am the only one who rides english, and rides with some contact on his mouth, therefore i'm pulling his face. I mean the darn comments never end. I'm trying to ignore them, but it's hard.
> 
> I'm beginning to just shut down completely out there. But I feel like I can't leave while they're down, especially since I once found refuge at that barn.
> 
> A specific incident happened today, the barn staff asked me to hold a boarders horse while they got a bigger halter, and as I was holding the horse the owner (a 40 something year old adult, and her 15 year old daughter) come barging around the corner demanding I don't put their horse back in the pasture. ( Mind you, I just got to the barn, so I had no idea what had happened)
> 
> They pointed out a huge bite mark on his back, and claimed that my horse did it; and demanded that Stitch be moved to another pasture, away from their horse immediately. I asked how they knew it was my horse, and they said nothing but "There hasn't been any problems in that field, until you put Stitch up there."
> 
> That made me mad, so I just moved my horse to the lower field so they'd shut up.
> 
> OH AND GET THIS: to top it all off, the girl who was riding my horse without my permission. I saw her and her dad at the barn today. Apparently they're begging to come back. Because they still haven't found a place that willl take their horses.
> 
> Kill. Me. Now


 
Hon you really don't need this type of stress or drama in your young life. Move to the other barn. 

What if that girl is allowed back? 

That mother no right to yell at you even if your horse did bit theirs. 

Why are you subjecting yourself to this abuse? Because in reality that is just what it is.

Just pack your stuff and move. Tell the trainer and BO that you have enjoyed your time with them, but you need to move on.


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## horselovinguy

Rideordie112 said:


> I could do that, I'm just really afraid of hurting people. I am pretty much a pansy


You are afraid of hurting others, yet you allow them to hurt you? 
That is OK with you, ...it should not be.

Move the horse, now. 
End of the month is soon. 
_*Go*_, this weekend...it is time to get out, past time.

Tell the trainer/owner you will be back to work and help out as needed if they desire. They need only let you know and you will be their_ for them._
Now though your horse is being accused and so are you of things unjustified...a guess.
I would also tell the owner..."Look the girls, their childish antics, words and comments are not wanted, not will I tolerate them anymore. Either you speak with them or I will. I am not part of nor wish to be part of their immature pack, I've moved past such things as I've grown older and matured".
*If *you make that statement you better be able and will back it up...you are *not* a doormat, stop acting like one.

_You have to start standing up for you, now._
Being an adult is not fun...
Now on top of that it is being considered to have the offending rider and their family of horses move back in to this barn..._give them another open stall to fill and* LEAVE!!*_

It is time to advocate for your horses rights and your rights...since you are unhappy and not riding with this trainer go where you can and ride with whom you wish.

It is to expensive a hobby to have such turmoil every day and time you go to the barn...

_jmo..._


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## Renip

You aren't leaving because you don't want to hurt other people's feelings. Life is not fair and honestly sometimes you just have to think about what's best for you.


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## sarahfromsc

I have read your other posts and you sound very mature. I wish my 23 year old son was such! LOLOLOL. He is getting there. 

Be that as it may, you are mature sounding except in one area: you can't say no to people. It is a huge fault young women tend to have....and a hard one to overcome. For some reason we don't see ourselves as being equal or having the same right to happiness. Wanting to please others instead of taking care of ourselves. Which in turn cause us huge amounts of stress and the inability to enjoy OUR life. It is a vicious cycle.

Then you make the mistake of blinking and you find yourself in your 50's and the polar opposite! One of the pluses of becoming a 'mature woman'.....(old)

You and your horse come first. Make that your new mantra. Repeat it. all the time.

Just tell them no you can't help out right now. No explanations needed. We tend to over explain why we can't do something. There is no reason to explain anything. 

Now, go move your horse. And remember the word NO!!


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## Rideordie112

You guys are right. I need to say no more often. I won't tolerate the other girls anymore. And I won't even think about tolerating it if the offending family comes back. 

I'm done, and I will talk to the BO today after school. 

I know for a fact she's going to try to have me sit down with the girls and talk it out so I'll stay. But I don't want to do that, I know she'll insist. What should I do in that situation?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DancingArabian

You say no. If she corners you, walk away. If she keeps talking, tell her "I am not interested in having this conversation, so I won't".

You don't owe her a reason as to why you're moving. If you want to give her one, "it's just not working out for me" is enough. This is business and you don't owe her anything except your bill paid in full and on time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rideordie112

I sent my trainer a text, and she said there is still an open stall at her barn, and a huge field Stitch is welcome in with all the grass he can eat. And the board will be about the same. 

Now I just need to talk to the BO of my current barn, and move my horse. And all my stuff.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rideordie112

DancingArabian said:


> You say no. If she corners you, walk away. If she keeps talking, tell her "I am not interested in having this conversation, so I won't".
> 
> You don't owe her a reason as to why you're moving. If you want to give her one, "it's just not working out for me" is enough. This is business and you don't owe her anything except your bill paid in full and on time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I guess you are right, and I already paid for the month of March. 
I'm gonna see how quickly I can have everything ready for Stitch at the other place. I wouldn't hold it above the girls to do something horrible to him like roach his mane or chop off his tail when they find out (that happened to the last girl who left. Her reining horse has a long flowing mane.. Roached)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## liltuktuk

Rideordie112 said:


> I wouldn't hold it above the girls to do something horrible to him like roach his mane or chop off his tail when they find out (that happened to the last girl who left. Her reining horse has a long flowing mane.. Roached)
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I've read this whole thread and your last, but had never commented. I agree with everyone on here, you need to move like yesterday.

And after reading your quoted text above. SERIOUSLY!!! Take pictures of your horse and all your stuff before you tell anyone you're leaving. If the girls really did roach some other girl's horses poor mane, I'd get evidence of what condition your tack and horse are in so if something like that happens you have proof that it wasn't like that before. I'm not sure if roaching a mane is something you could get the police involved in (defamation of property?), but in my eyes someone would need to at least be severely reprimanded for that (kicked out of the barn, riding privileges revoked, etc). 

Maybe it's just because I have a horse with a nice long mane and it would kill me if someone roached it off because they're sniveling little immature punks who thinks they're all that (and that's what these girls are). 

I also used to (and sometimes still do) have a hard time saying no and standing up for myself. But its something that you need to learn as you become an adult. It sucks, but no ones going to do it for you.


Hopefully all this made sense. I'm so mad after reading what snotty brats these girls are I'm seeing red and want to throttle the lot of them. And I've never even met them!


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## skiafoxmorgan

^^^what liltuktuk said! Holy cow. I'd have been having kittens the moment I discovered someone else had taken MY horse out and ridden him without my permission. No one touches my horse. No one is invested in your horse except you. And that ANYONE at that barn touched and roached a horse's mane without the owner's permission???? And that person (or collective) wasn't disciplined harshly? I'd have been gone so long ago!

Get out. Get out now. I honestly don't understand the lack of fury and outrage and insult... 

Horses are our pets and pals, but they are also property. What was done to that horse was vandalism, pure and simple, and they should have been prosecuted.


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## Rideordie112

Well I mean obviously I'm angry. And that horses mane was roached by an angry 13 year old girl because her 12 year old friend "betrayed" her by switching barns. The girls mom chose not to press charges or anything

But yes, it was vandalism. And that's one of the things that worries me about moving my horse, the same thing happening to Stitch. I'd be horrified. 

And id also press charges, but I'd like to avoid conflict in general if possible
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## womack29

You need to lover your order for your pen happiness. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## womack29

I meant move her
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Luvs Horses

Stop stalling and move.
The longer u drag ur feet the more both u & Stitch are gonna be miserable. 
Toughen up! Knock the dirt off ur boots & move on. You will feel the stress fall away once you are outtake there like a weight fallen off your shoulders.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## horselovinguy

Bottom line...you are fully paid up?
You are having issues with other boarders at this barn.
You know of incidences of despicable behavior toward an animal because the girl was angry at another human...
Your barn owner is aware of the issues and continues to do nothing...she is a accomplice to your problems...FACT!!

No offense, you are still a young lady learning how to deal with these situations...
Get your parents involved NOW!
Go together, with your parents and speak to the barn owner in private, no audience. Do not ask, tell her you are leaving, period. If she asks you can tell her or not.
Bottom line... the incidences of riding the horse without permission, riding a different discipline than the barn is and having to endure rude remarks made continuously by a group of girls you choose not to have contact with anymore, the barn considering allowing those kicked-out for their unauthorized riding of the horse back in as boarders, the known retaliation of those same girls you choose to not be associated with...are all grounds to walk out without notice. Ask your parents to speak with/for you...it is uncomfortable but it is time you grow a backbone, stand up for yourself and more importantly that horse you call yours. 
That horse relies upon you for his safety, security and proper treatment from everyone.

The more you write and describe things/events that go on at this barn the more I think you should remove all of your things within a few days time...quietly and not drawing attention. 
Take your tack home to clean it...take the blankets to wash them...it is springtime and time for spring cleaning and bringing some of the mess home so you have room in the tack trunk for items you need for the upcoming summer season...good as any excuse but you don't need one. Leave everything where it is safe, at home. You carry in and carry out as little as possible...you need to make moving day fast and uneventful.
I would arrive with the transport, have your stuff under lock & key already so it is ready to be put on the trailer once the horse loads. If you wrap legs when you ship, wrap and go..._leave nothing behind_, it won't be their in the same condition as you left it..

I think although you don't want to...you're going to burn bridges and you won't be welcome back. 
Do you truly want to return to this place with what goes on here? 
That answer makes a difference in what you will or won't continue to allow, whether you will or won't find it in you to pack up and leave to a new barn with people not inflicting malice on a animal...a place where you can further your riding education...a place you can enjoy going to spend time and ride your horse not being harassed!!

I think if me, I would call and make arrangements for this weekend to leave. Quietly *the night before* after the barn "girls" have left your parents make a appearance and together you speak with the barn owner.
First thing Saturday morning or Sunday morning you are gone...make sure the arrangements are all done and solidified together for time and date of moving...only then would I go speak to the B/O and inform, not ask...TELL her you are leaving {and why if you choose.} 
She is _not_ stupid and _has_ allowed much of what goes on to occur without her stepping in and putting a halt to it... and _she knows_ how distressed you were at the horse being ridden...
_Does she think that just went away and all is good...think not_.
Time to say Good-Bye!

I'm angry and upset for you just writing this and it has nothing to do with me.
I do agree to take pictures of the horse, equipment and such with time & date stamp on in the camera...just in case. 
And make sure it is known if anything happens to your horse...*ANYTHING*... there will be legal action taken against those who did it and you know where to begin looking based on past performances of what was done to others.


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## Rideordie112

Thank you horselovinguy, and all of you who have given me wonderful, completely valid advice. 

Today I spoke to the BO on my own, I told her that I had to leave, that it wasn't anything against her or the trainers. I explained some things that weren't working out for me, and she begged me to have a group discussion with the girls, but I told her for myself I just had to go. 

She cried a little bit, but told me she understood. I said I'd be back to help with lessons regularly after I am settled in at the new place. If I am not treated badly for leaving. 

The trainer is angry, she isn't responding nicely at all. Was furious, she doesn't like the other barn owner. But I just told her I was sorry, and I'm still happy to help. She was the hardest to talk to, she was so angry. 

I think somehow the girls know, even though I talked to both the trainer and BO in private. The whispers have already started. 

I'm moving Friday after school, I was going to take stitch to a show in Sacramento with my trainer anyways, so after that I'll just get him settled into his new place. 

For now, he is in his stall, with a camera. 

I'm relieved, but scared at the same time. 

I know I need to check on him everyday until Friday, but how should I go about it?

I took pictures of him from all angles, and all my tack. 

I think the BO is gonna end up calling my parents, cause I she was upset with the reasoning I gave.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sarahfromsc

Rideordie112 said:


> You guys are right. I need to say no more often. I won't tolerate the other girls anymore. And I won't even think about tolerating it if the offending family comes back.
> 
> I'm done, and I will talk to the BO today after school.
> 
> I know for a fact she's going to try to have me sit down with the girls and talk it out so I'll stay. But I don't want to do that, I know she'll insist. What should I do in that situation?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


To have a sit down and talk through differences is wonderful IF all parties are mature. However, you are not dealing with mature individuals here. Roaching manes? Really??

Move quickly and quietly. Have your parents, siblings, cousins, uncles, whomever there to back you up. A crowd can keep the cowards from saying/doing anything. Have a family friend that is a cop? Lololol.

I think it was Teddy Roosevelt who said, "speak softly, and carry a big stick."


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## MyBoySi

Sounds unprofessional of both the bo and trainer. Moving barns and change is hard but it sounds like you'll be better off. 

I think you handled everything really well. Kudos to you and hopefully everything works out for the best and goes off without a hitch.


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## Luvs Horses

Rideordie112 said:


> Thank you horselovinguy, and all of you who have given me wonderful, completely valid advice.
> 
> Today I spoke to the BO on my own, I told her that I had to leave, that it wasn't anything against her or the trainers. I explained some things that weren't working out for me, and she begged me to have a group discussion with the girls, but I told her for myself I just had to go.
> 
> She cried a little bit, but told me she understood. I said I'd be back to help with lessons regularly after I am settled in at the new place. If I am not treated badly for leaving.
> 
> The trainer is angry, she isn't responding nicely at all. Was furious, she doesn't like the other barn owner. But I just told her I was sorry, and I'm still happy to help. She was the hardest to talk to, she was so angry.
> 
> I think somehow the girls know, even though I talked to both the trainer and BO in private. The whispers have already started.
> 
> I'm moving Friday after school, I was going to take stitch to a show in Sacramento with my trainer anyways, so after that I'll just get him settled into his new place.
> 
> For now, he is in his stall, with a camera.
> 
> I'm relieved, but scared at the same time.
> 
> I know I need to check on him everyday until Friday, but how should I go about it?
> 
> I took pictures of him from all angles, and all my tack.
> 
> I think the BO is gonna end up calling my parents, cause I she was upset with the reasoning I gave.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Hope you have a smooth trouble free move and finally get to enjoy your time with Stitch again.


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## Rideordie112

Luvs Horses said:


> Hope you have a smooth trouble free move and finally get to enjoy your time with Stitch again.


Thank you, me too


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## verona1016

Congratulations, you're past (what for me is always) the hardest part. I'm glad you have a camera on your horse; it does sound like it's warranted with those girls around.

Until Friday, just go in, check on your horse and ignore everyone else as much as possible. Don't let anyone draw you into a confrontation with snide comments. If you're still thinking you might come back to help out after the BO & trainer's reactions then be friendly with them and express again that it wasn't because of them that you're leaving and thank them for their understanding (even though it seems like from your post they weren't really all that understanding).

Good luck at your show and with settling in at the new place afterwards- it sounds like you'll enjoy riding a lot more with this move!


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## horselovinguy

Verona is right on....I agree.

_Stitch is your horse_ and you go see him, ride him, love him, take pictures of him if that is what you wish to do...no one needs to give permission,period.
And angry trainers don't speak to well of their maturity...in the horse business clients move around a lot...kind of change with the direction of the wind...she is what she is..has shown her true colors...so GO!
There need not be any further dialog. You said your peace, and yes, I meant peace like you are peaceful with this decision along with saying the parts of what needed being told.

A fly on the wall {camera}...and if "the girls" don't know about it and say something... well..pictures speak a thousand words.
Comments made, "I just want to document how Stitch looks here so I can add the pictures to the album I keep of him." 
Veiled warning... unless stupid, the message should be loud & clear!!

Go, ride, ENJOY and have a great time at the show!!
:wink:


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## Chasin Ponies

Good for you! You will be so relieved once he is out of there so don't look back. Trust me, adults are not influenced by the whispers and opinions of nasty little girls-you are becoming a mature adult so ignore it and laugh at it!


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## ladygodiva1228

In my opinion both the BO and trainer should not be angry with you, they should be supportive of your decision.

It seems to me they run a very lax facility if they allow these other girls to get away with what they do. 
Karma is a beatch and one day they will all learn the hard way not to mess with her. 
So glad to hear your moving. I think that is best thing you can do for both you and your horse.

I have to say with the trainer being so angry I wonder if she wasn't using your horse for lessons or something. Makes one wonder doesn't it?


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## barrelracer892

Woo hoo! Doesn't it feel like a huge weight is lifted off your chest? I would go and check on Stitch everyday, if you come across one of the girls just wave and say hi. Only talk if they talk to you first, and if they bring up switching barns just say you have to go do something and ignore the subject. Only two more days!


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## ligoleth

Subbing!


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## sarahfromsc

Woot! 

I bet you can breath again without having chest pains. Maybe it is just us old people that have those when under stress!...lol

I hope your barn life chills for awhile. You have dealt with enough!


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## Rideordie112

Thanks everyone! I feel like half of a weight has been lifted, I'm still a little nervous to go out there today to check on my horse. 

I've already started getting some text messages questioning me. I've just ignored them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mulefeather

Glad you are moving! I'm sorry to hear that people are taking it poorly, but they'll get over it. Essentially your BO is letting the chickens run the hen-house instead of the other way around. 

It's hard to believe people can get into such a huge snit over such a simple thing as moving your horse to a different barn. To me, that is the mark of a poorly-run operation. As a business owner you can't be overly emotionally invested in people who for one reason or another will eventually move on. Is she going to cry every time a boarder leaves?


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## ladygodiva1228

Rideordie112 said:


> Thanks everyone! I feel like half of a weight has been lifted, I'm still a little nervous to go out there today to check on my horse.
> 
> I've already started getting some text messages questioning me. I've just ignored them.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't be nervous. You are going out to see YOUR horse and tend to YOUR horse. Just block everyone else out.

No one has any right to question your decision at all. You are doing the right thing with ignoring them. 
Now should they start getting harrassing or threatening you may have to take action with the authorities. I learned a long time ago that for what ever reason people are crazy.


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## Hidalgo13

> Now should they start getting harrassing or threatening you may have to take action with the authorities.* I learned a long time ago that for what ever reason people are crazy*.


^ Yes, this. Never underestimate people is what I have learned. I am glad to hear you are moving! Honestly if I was your BO or trainer I'd have expected you to move long ago for convenience, considering you are taking lessons at another barn and competing in shows with them.

It's weird that the trainer is so mad. Why would she care so much if she didn't teach you anyways (I think that is the case anyhow from what I previously read, correct me if I am wrong). I don't know, something is fishy with her. :/

A barn is a business, you need to go where it's most convenient and healthy for you and your horse. When needs change, barns must be changed as well. I don't understand why people make such a big deal out of it, but anyhow good for you for doing what's best! And good luck in moving your horse.


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## Rideordie112

Thanks for the support everyone. And the clarify the trainer from the barn I'm leaving is upset because she taught me as a child, and I've been at that barn since I was 7 or 8.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## liltuktuk

Seems ridiculous that everyone is making such a big deal about this. But I've been in a similar situation, just not quite so intense. No one made too big of a deal about me leaving, but afterwards, and after one of my friends moved her horse from there too to where I'm now at...my goodness, it's like you'd think we called the SPCA on the barn or something! They're always talking behind our backs and if we see any one who boards there out the looks we get! And this is from grown adults!


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## Roperchick

Man. I'm just now catching up on this. So sorry all this is happening. You'd think there's have been enough trouble with the other little girl.

Hope everything starts working out better for you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Angrydragonflyface01

Congrats! I'm glad everything is going well I have some of those issues (gossiping) at my barn..my BO took care of it after a complaint from me and other people..have fun at your show and I'm glad you can leave


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## Glenknock

subbing


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## Luvs Horses

It's Friday!!!
Hope OP is vacating and has a smooth move.
Waiting for her Good News!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rideordie112

It's friday! 
I'll be moving around 5:30 this evening, it's about 11:30 right now. 

Yesterday when I went to visit my horse, and go on a trail ride. I got met with dirty looks, and whispers. I ignored it and played on my phone while Stitch was eating his smartpak. One of the girls walked up and knocked the feed bucket over. In the mud 

I spoke up and said "what the **** is wrong with you? I don't care if you don't like me. Don't screw with my horse. I don't care if you just knocked over a bucket of feed or not. Smartpaks are expensive." 

And she said "well maybe you should've thought about that earlier"

What a sassy little snot! I can't leave Stitch alone, while I'm at school my grandma is out watching him. I don't trust people.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## barrelracer892

What a brat! I really don't understand why folks get so upset about people switching barns. If they're being mean and showing dislike towards the person leaving, shouldn't they be glad that they're leaving? Just a few more hours!! Glad your grandma is able to be with him while you're at school.


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## Mulefeather

Ugh! So glad you are getting away from this ugly, toxic place with it's ugly, toxic people! 

Very glad your grandmother is able to watch him until you can go pick him up. Ugh, what a horrible place to be, and all because some people can't control their attitudes about silly things.


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## Rideordie112

Thanks for the support everyone! 

This move has been a long time coming, I haven't been happy there in a couple years now, and it's time to move on. 

I got Stitch 9 months ago, and he's too nice a horse to be stuck in the middle of all this crap. 

I too am very glad my gramma is out with him, she made him some home made horse treats so he's probably in heaven right now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Roperchick

I hope you're gonna report that girl to the BO..

Even if nothing happens...if that girl just gets away with that what's to say down the line, if this behavior isn't addressed a d recognised she won't do more serious harm to somebody?



So glad you can get out of there!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rideordie112

I did report her, and the BO said she would talk I her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DuckDodgers

Rideordie112 said:


> I did report her, and the BO said she would talk I her.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Good for you. It would have taken a lot of self control from me to not slap the girl in the face!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rideordie112

Stitch has moved! Finally, I didn't get a very warm goodbye. And the whole ordeal was very uncomfortable. But I'm glad it's over
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NorthernMama

I don't know how to "like" on mobile. Good for you! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Glenknock

Wahoo delighted for you, glad your finally out of there


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## KigerQueen

Im SOO happy for you! I personally would have ended up with a assault charge if that snot did that to me feed! I have NO problem smacking brats regardless of how old they are! Or at least attacked her with a crap picker! OHHHHH some people! Well the good news is that Karma is out there. Trust me I have checked its there, and that girl will someday find her karma. So take comfort in that lol!

Keep us updated on how your boy is enjoying the move!


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## liltuktuk

Yay for you and Stitch! Now you can really enjoy your time together.

How old are these girls?! Sounds like they have the maturity of a 3 year old throwing a temper tantrum. If any of this had happened at the boarding barn I was at there would have been h*** to pay. Maybe the BO is afraid of upsetting anyone so she doesn't lose customers.....oh wait she did anyway, and it was a good customer.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## horselovinguy

So glad this is over and done with.
Stitch came home to a new barn unscathed_ {thanks Grandma for the vigil!!}_
You and your belongings are together unscathed.

_Now...put the rest of it behind you!_
You have left the childish children and their bitterness, the barn and its theatrics and the trainer and barn owner and their bitterness behind.
Focus on the future, your learning new things, Stitch becoming a even better partner and you his equal and increasingly better rider.
Focus on the fact you both are in a safe environment, conducive to learning...

Stop dwelling on the past, it is now past and done.
Look at the bright future spread out in front of you to reach for....

.... I'm very glad for you this ordeal is finally drawn to a conclusion...

_*Go,....enjoy Stitch!!*_
:happydance:


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## TownesThatBigChestnut

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious

So glad you've moved and are getting settled.  Those girls aren't worth your time or energy.


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## Saddlebag

When kids carry on like this, I can't help but wonder about their home life. I suspect it's pretty lousy. So glad to hear everything has worked out for you.


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## Rideordie112

Thanks everyone! I appreciate all the support. The show was canceled due to rain, so Stitch is just getting settled at the new place. I will post some pictures this weekend! 

One thing that was kind of weird, is during the hour that my grandma went home so I could take over horse watch, he ended up with a big nasty cut on his face. And we had to scrub it out, poor guy  he was not happy.


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## Rideordie112

liltuktuk said:


> Yay for you and Stitch! Now you can really enjoy your time together.
> 
> How old are these girls?! Sounds like they have the maturity of a 3 year old throwing a temper tantrum. If any of this had happened at the boarding barn I was at there would have been h*** to pay. Maybe the BO is afraid of upsetting anyone so she doesn't lose customers.....oh wait she did anyway, and it was a good customer.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


14-16.
They're spoiled, brats.


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## Zexious

A big cut?? )8 Did the camera not show him getting it...?


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## Rideordie112

It was when he was turned out.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## aerie

Congrats on your move girl! Ugghh I went through a similar situation when I was around 15 or 16. Just a clingy barn owner, two faced trainer, and bratty boarders. I got the same glares/stares/rude comments and everything! From here on out everything will be better and you will get to enjoy your lovely horse <3


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## Northernstar

3 G's.... 

1. Good for you!!

2. Go forward and enjoy!!

3. God bless!!


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## horseluvr2524

THANK GOD IT'S OVER!!! So proud of you! Just found this thread and it has occupied my attention for last half hour or so. Maybe it's the time of year because I just went through the same thing! Mares in heat??? LOL My BO that I had been with for 2 1/2 years, who had become a close family friend, totally female dogged me out for clipping and blanketing my horse. She basically told me to get out when I went to go blanket my horse, and she kept saying "I don't know what goes through your head but you're crazy! you're crazy! you're just crazy!" She denies ever saying this later. Right after I leave barn (in tears, having not blanketed my horse) she calls my mom (6:30 in the morning on Saturday!) and starts yelling at her over the phone about me! She told us to be out by the 30th (texting my mom saying "sick of these games with you", what games? We were the best boarders she's ever had. Always paid our board and took care of our horses!) but we were out that same day, I wasn't having my horse spend even one more night there!

We moved the horses out to a property we are renting (horses will be at home for first time! yay!) and are paying the neighbor to take care of them for time being until we can get out there (our landlords are VERY nice people). But my old BO just went CRAZY a few months ago (it was a slow progression lol) when I quit being a flag carrier for the local arena's royal court. Same situation you are in, I'm way more into english, everyone else is western! Things happen, cut it down to people are crazy and you ultimately need to do what makes you happy and what is best for you and your horse. I've had enough of the horse people I have known out here. I remember being so shocked when I went to the barn I trailer to for lessons. These jumpers are such nice people! What a change, I'm still in shock thinking about it. And they love my little mustang cross, even though they have big expensive warmbloods. I have to say it's nice to not be around the girls I used to know who would jerk and spur their rearing horses around barrels, and look at me weird because I don't beat the sh*t out of my horse when she does something wrong.

Sorry, I've been rambling. People can be unbelievable. Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful time at your new barn! I can honestly (and with great relief) say that I am NEVER boarding again! We are renting horse prop while the horse prop we own is being built. God bless you and your horse! Hope you have great happiness and success at everything you do!


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## KigerQueen

I get sooo much flack for riding english. "Its a sissy saddle" or "Thats not real riding" an more id rather not say. It gets old real quick, at least Bo does not harass me about it. My Bf on the other hand -_-'. Glad things are getting better!!!


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## Zexious

^Wow... Can I just say how dumb that sounds? ): I don't get people who discriminate between disciplines. Riding is riding. Horses are horses. It's not like your horse grows a second head when you put a particular type of saddle on it xD I think it's perfectly fine to prefer particular disciplines (Hunter/Jumper forever  ) But it's equally important to be respectful of the fellow riders!
What I'm trying to say is... I'm really sorry people say those things to you, and Rideordie ): It just seems so juvenile. 


Anyway, I'm still baffled over the cut. I really hope it was just an accident, and no one did anything malicious. Having an issue with you is one thing, but taking it out on your horse is completely unacceptable. I'm so glad you moved. How is he settling?


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## Rideordie112

Yeah discipline discrimination is ridiculous. 
I am in Sacramento right now, by my mom says that he is settling really well, and already doing well in his new herd. He has more space, and more grass. So he's happy! And he's been there like twice a week for lessons anyways, so it's not like it's completely new to him. 

As far as the cut, this is it. Right under his eye. I hope no one was malicious, and he just hurt himself in pasture. 








_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rideordie112

Zexious said:


> I'm really sorry people say those things to you, and Rideordie ): It just seems so juvenile.
> 
> 
> ?


Thank you zexious! I really appreciate it. I feel bad for them, they're gonna grow up with problems.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rideordie112

horseluvr2524 said:


> THANK GOD IT'S OVER!!! So proud of you! Just found this thread and it has occupied my attention for last half hour or so. Maybe it's the time of year because I just went through the same thing! Mares in heat??? LOL My BO that I had been with for 2 1/2 years, who had become a close family friend, totally female dogged me out for clipping and blanketing my horse. She basically told me to get out when I went to go blanket my horse, and she kept saying "I don't know what goes through your head but you're crazy! you're crazy! you're just crazy!" She denies ever saying this later. Right after I leave barn (in tears, having not blanketed my horse) she calls my mom (6:30 in the morning on Saturday!) and starts yelling at her over the phone about me! She told us to be out by the 30th (texting my mom saying "sick of these games with you", what games? We were the best boarders she's ever had. Always paid our board and took care of our horses!) but we were out that same day, I wasn't having my horse spend even one more night there!
> 
> We moved the horses out to a property we are renting (horses will be at home for first time! yay!) and are paying the neighbor to take care of them for time being until we can get out there (our landlords are VERY nice people). But my old BO just went CRAZY a few months ago (it was a slow progression lol) when I quit being a flag carrier for the local arena's royal court. Same situation you are in, I'm way more into english, everyone else is western! Things happen, cut it down to people are crazy and you ultimately need to do what makes you happy and what is best for you and your horse. I've had enough of the horse people I have known out here. I remember being so shocked when I went to the barn I trailer to for lessons. These jumpers are such nice people! What a change, I'm still in shock thinking about it. And they love my little mustang cross, even though they have big expensive warmbloods. I have to say it's nice to not be around the girls I used to know who would jerk and spur their rearing horses around barrels, and look at me weird because I don't beat the sh*t out of my horse when she does something wrong.
> 
> Sorry, I've been rambling. People can be unbelievable. Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful time at your new barn! I can honestly (and with great relief) say that I am NEVER boarding again! We are renting horse prop while the horse prop we own is being built. God bless you and your horse! Hope you have great happiness and success at everything you do!


We pretty much dealt with the exact same thing! So you know where I'm coming from. I'm sorry that happened to you but awesome getting to keep your ponies at home! Thanks for your support and kind words. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ligoleth

It could be probable that he had an itch, and scratched a little too hard, or found a lose wire/nail when scratching. 

I doubt anyone could get close enough with a sharp object and just cut the horse... but I could be wrong.


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## Roperchick

Agree with deschutes.

Looks more like he caught himself on something than some malicious cut

Glad y'all are out of there now enjoy it! Haha


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## Zexious

So glad to hear he's settling in


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## ligoleth

It also looks pretty small, too, and I'm assuming the trail of blood to the left is just blood and not a continuation of the scratch. It also looks to be fairly shallow and not terrible, either. 

If someone wanted to be malicious, there are easier spots on a horse to gash up.

And besides... some horses are more accident prone than others. Just be lucky yours isn't one of those that finds trouble at every corner. : p


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## princessfluffybritches

horseluvr2524 said:


> THANK GOD IT'S OVER!!! So proud of you! Just found this thread and it has occupied my attention for last half hour or so. Maybe it's the time of year because I just went through the same thing! Mares in heat??? LOL My BO that I had been with for 2 1/2 years, who had become a close family friend, totally female dogged me out for clipping and blanketing my horse. She basically told me to get out when I went to go blanket my horse, and she kept saying "I don't know what goes through your head but you're crazy! you're crazy! you're just crazy!" She denies ever saying this later. Right after I leave barn (in tears, having not blanketed my horse) she calls my mom (6:30 in the morning on Saturday!) and starts yelling at her over the phone about me! She told us to be out by the 30th (texting my mom saying "sick of these games with you", what games? We were the best boarders she's ever had. Always paid our board and took care of our horses!) but we were out that same day, I wasn't having my horse spend even one more night there!
> 
> We moved the horses out to a property we are renting (horses will be at home for first time! yay!) and are paying the neighbor to take care of them for time being until we can get out there (our landlords are VERY nice people). But my old BO just went CRAZY a few months ago (it was a slow progression lol) when I quit being a flag carrier for the local arena's royal court. Same situation you are in, I'm way more into english, everyone else is western! Things happen, cut it down to people are crazy and you ultimately need to do what makes you happy and what is best for you and your horse. I've had enough of the horse people I have known out here. I remember being so shocked when I went to the barn I trailer to for lessons. These jumpers are such nice people! What a change, I'm still in shock thinking about it. And they love my little mustang cross, even though they have big expensive warmbloods. I have to say it's nice to not be around the girls I used to know who would jerk and spur their rearing horses around barrels, and look at me weird because I don't beat the sh*t out of my horse when she does something wrong.
> 
> Sorry, I've been rambling. People can be unbelievable. Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful time at your new barn! I can honestly (and with great relief) say that I am NEVER boarding again! We are renting horse prop while the horse prop we own is being built. God bless you and your horse! Hope you have great happiness and success at everything you do!


 
The lady surely lost her mind. You should be grateful that she asked you to leave, LOL. I'll bet you feel relieved. What did your mom say?

Hope in the future you don't let people tell you that your horse doesn't or does need a blanket. I would have loved to say to her "I'm going to blanket my horse, and if I'm wrong, I can live with that". 

Boarding at the right place can be fun too. My BO will not tolerate anyone being unkind to their horses. I enjoy being around other horse owners to chat and ride. But I do have a run in and a paddock in my yard-just in case.


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## Samstead

it would seem the issue is resolved and you have moved barns from what I skimmed. But I'll say what i was going to say anyway, you don't love the barn you were at before, you loved the memories and what it used to be.


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## Samstead

It would seem, from what a I skimed through that you have moved barns and the issue is therefore resolved? I'll say what I was going to say when I read your first post anyway you don't love this barn (old barn) you love the memories and what it used to be.


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## Samstead

oops my first comment didn't show right away so I thought it had trouble posting and wrote a new one!


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## PrivatePilot

Those kids need a stern talking to, up to and including a very clear "If this continues you will soon be no longer welcome here" discussion. Now that you're gone they'll just move on to someone else.

Drama and such is NOT welcome at our lesson barn. Whenever it's started it was very quickly extinguished by the BO's and made clear it was VERY unwelcome - nipping it in the bud *immediately* is the key as once the flames start they spread quickly and are difficult to put out.

We've been part of barns before where drama and gossip was the norm, which is why we're no longer part of them. 

Personally, I would have asked the BO to confront the clique in question and have a sternly worded discussion. Having the BO on your side would have put you in the drivers seat with them, and frankly, a little embarrassment and a lot of stress during the discussion (up to and including the BO having the "Shape up or clean out your lockers" discussion very bluntly right there and then) would likely have put a lid on it.


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## horseluvr2524

princessfluffybritches said:


> The lady surely lost her mind. You should be grateful that she asked you to leave, LOL. I'll bet you feel relieved. What did your mom say?
> 
> Hope in the future you don't let people tell you that your horse doesn't or does need a blanket. I would have loved to say to her "I'm going to blanket my horse, and if I'm wrong, I can live with that".
> 
> Boarding at the right place can be fun too. My BO will not tolerate anyone being unkind to their horses. I enjoy being around other horse owners to chat and ride. But I do have a run in and a paddock in my yard-just in case.


She told that lady that it was unfair of her to call me crazy and that I did not deserve that, then the lady denied it. I wish I would have said that to her too, but I'm not a morning person so my brain wasn't working. :lol: Oh well, I never have to see her again anyway!!! I think SHE is crazy for riding a 5 year old arab who has dumped her more than once when she is OVER 70 years old! I personally think the horse's talent is going to waste on her because she is never going to show him.
When I quit the royal court, I called her right after because I wanted her to hear the news from me and not from someone else, since she is the one that pushed me into it. First she says "that's ok" then starts rambling and then progresses into telling me that I quit everything I do. When I pointed out that (even though most young teens would have given up on a horse like this) I stuck with my green broke mare all these years and we have come very far (horse didn't even know ground manners, never trail ridden, was stubborn, pushy, bossy leader type. Ran me into fence rails, constantly bucked when I asked her to go faster than walk, used to charge me on lunge.... it goes on and on), she tells me "well, a lot of people do that. You're not anything special for doing that." Right after that I said I have to go and hung up.
Then she gets mad at me when I finally find something me and my horse are good at and enjoy, because I clipped my horse. I'm sticking with jumping! In fact, I'm one of the most stubborn people you will ever meet (my siblings frequently get frustrated over this fact :lol and that quality has helped me much more than it has hurt me. So I know that she is just a lying bitter old lady. I wish her the best though!


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## Rideordie112

Thanks everyone for the kind words!


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## DancingArabian

KigerQueen said:


> I get sooo much flack for riding english. "Its a sissy saddle" or "Thats not real riding" an more id rather not say. It gets old real quick, at least Bo does not harass me about it. My Bf on the other hand -_-'. Glad things are getting better!!!


Just tell them they're too scared to ride without a horn to hold on to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rideordie112

DancingArabian said:


> Just tell them they're too scared to ride without a horn to hold on to.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


HA! that's perfect. I ride both, but I prefer English. People said the same kind of things to me!


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## KigerQueen

That would work if I can stay on my catty mare english -_-'. Now I get picked on for riding english AND for falling off...


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## DancingArabian

KigerQueen said:


> That would work if I can stay on my catty mare english -_-'. Now I get picked on for riding english AND for falling off...


It's worth learning. It's hilarious to do western stuff in an english saddle!


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## KigerQueen

Lol she LOVEs to pull 180s at FULL SPEED! Or just duck out from underneath me. She is there one second and the next she is a yard in front of me and im in a cactus... XD need to work on balance and work on her being a pain!


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## Rideordie112

Oooooohh a cactus. Ouch.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Mulefeather

The discipline wars are so silly. Honestly I wouldn't mind either and have ridden both, but I got hit by a car when I was 12, which messed up my right knee pretty badly (drunk driver, dragged me down the road about 30 yards, I have torn cartilage which means fluid buildup and getting stiff/painful)- so it makes the two-point position SUPER uncomfortable for me. I do envy those folks who can do both.


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## KigerQueen

I get fluid in my knee (jumped 6ft out of a tree at ten and hit the pavement running, 12 years later i still have major issues with my knee and there are days i can hardly walk). I do two-point in the western, to build up my legs, then I do it in the english, then I remove the leathers and irons. There is hope MuleFeather! You can do it!!! Knee braces are your friend!


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