# Constructive Criticism please



## farmpony84

The power had gone out around 11 p.m. just as the early summer storm was displaying its mightiest fury. Samantha Cameron lay in bed beside her husband of ten years feigning sleep for what seemed like eternity as she listened to the thunder and wind raging outside there third story apartment. She listened to his steady breathing, gauging how deeply he slept. As a detective for the city police department most of his days were spent scouring through endless witness statements, interviewing victims and questioning potential suspects or filling out endless forms of documentation, but lately too many of his days had been filled with violence and heartache. It seemed like the more bad he endured the further away he drifted from her. It was getting harder and harder to reach him through the stone wall he had been slowly erecting around his heart. It wasn’t like him to lock himself inside the way he had, the sparkle in his eyes had seemed to dim and it made her ache inside to know that he was hurting so badly, yet refusing to lean on her. Wasn’t that part of marriage? To lend each other strength, to feel for each other? 
Sam slid carefully out of the bed, turning her pillow sideways before tip toeing across the room and easing out the door. She squeezed her eyes shut as she pushed the door closed, waiting for it to squeak. It didn’t. She stared at the closed door wishing she had taken a moment to catch one last glimpse of her one and only true love. She stood just outside the bedroom rubbing her thick strawberry blonde braid between her thumb and forefinger desperately fighting the increased panic rising within.
It wasn’t until the night of their tenth wedding anniversary that things had gotten so out of control. It had been a fairytale evening with dinner and wine, the most velvety roses she’d ever seen; that perfect little red dress and those strappy black heeled sandals accented with tiny rhinestones. Sharing a piece of chocolate cake they’d picked up the same conversation that they’d had so many times before only this time it was different. Sam had told him, at twenty eight, she was as ready as she’d ever be to start their family. That night actually, had been her plan and that’s when he’d proclaimed his change of heart. He was breaking his promise. The one he’d made so many years ago, when they’d run away from home to get married the night they graduated from high school. He had changed his mind. He no longer had the desire to bring a child into this world. He had decided there was too much ugliness. He had decided. It had been his decision, not hers. That decision had caused so many arguments and disagreements that ended in hurt feelings and angry words they’d become two strangers sharing an apartment. She had long since stopped waiting up at night for him just as he had stopped calling for no specific reason in the middle of the day, she even stopped cooking his dinners for him. They used to enjoy evening horseback rides together although it had been months since either of them had been to the stables at the same time. That one decision had changed everything.
Jason Cameron was a good man, until recently, he was a loving man. He was honest and loyal. He was a man of his word. She knew he’d be faithful until his dying day and that’s why, at this point, after all the fighting and arguing, the broken promises; it was the broken promises that hurt the worst, their just didn’t seem like anything was left to do, but leave. She knew he wouldn’t. No matter how bad things got, he’d stay. And he’d never ask her to leave. So, just as he’d made the decision to live a life without children, she’d made the decision to leave. She turned away and ran down the short hallway to the door grabbing her shoes and keys as she raced down the steps into the stormy night.


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## farmpony84

...so.... it sucks?


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## Angel_Leaguer

is there more???? You got me interested


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## farmpony84

Her car was packed. Her tank was full and school was out for the summer. Since she was a teacher, she had the next three months to get settled and find a new job. She’d withdrawn three thousand dollars from their joint bank account. It would have to be enough to get to where she was going. She steered her old silver Volvo towards the highway and settled in for the drive hoping adrenaline would keep her awake long enough to make it to a good break point.
She made it to the state line. There was a small truckers motel a few miles into the next state. It had a well lit parking lot and was attached to a small diner. She found a space under a light post and ran into the lobby. A gentleman of Hispanic descent sat behind the counter eating a piece of blueberry pie. He was wearing an old t-shirt that read “Cowboys do it best”. It was four o’clock in the morning, she was exhausted.
“I’d like a room please.” She set her purse on the counter and dug into a side compartment for some money. She’d spread the cash out into as many different places as she could think of, afraid she’d lose it or that it might get stolen. She pulled out two twenty’s assuming the bill for a room would be less. 
“Smoking or Non?” The man at the register asked. His Mexican accent was almost undetectable under the western twang. 
She asked for Non. “I need a credit card.” He motioned to the money in her hand. “You can pay cash but I need to take a credit card, I won’t charge you until check out.”
“I don’t have a credit card.” She smiled the sweetest smile she could muster, hoping he couldn’t see the lie in her eyes. Jason always insisted he could tell what she was thinking. He used to compare the blue in her eyes to the ocean. He said he could see the waves crashing when she was angry and the soft ripples when she was sad. She shook her head. “Could I please pay cash?”
Sam could tell by the look on his face that he knew she was lying. “You drive a Volvo but you have no credit card?” He handed her a key. “Give me your driver’s license. I’ll hold it until you check out. It’s the best I’ll do for you.” 
That wouldn’t do. Jason was a detective. If he wanted to find her, it would take no time at all. She couldn’t leave a trail. She had left him. She was staying gone, even if it ripped her heart out. “I guess I’ll just drive on, thank you.” She handed back the key and headed for the door.
“Wait.” He walked around the counter and held out the key. “Are you in trouble?” He asked. “I need to know, if you’re staying in my motel, I need to know.” 
Sam caught her braid and pulled it over her shoulder, twisting it with her hands. “No. I’m not in trouble, not really, I’m just on my own.” She told him, immediately wishing she hadn’t. What was wrong with her? She knew better than to tell someone that she was alone, especially someone that had a master key to her motel room!	He must have seen the fear in her eyes because he smiled and returned to his pie.
“I have a wife and five children sleeping in the apartment.” He motioned behind him while shoveling the last few crumbs of pie into his mouth.
In the room Sam sat on the edge of the bed feeling drained. The full impact of what she had just done sinking in. She had left her husband with out a word. She hadn’t even left a note. Even worse, she had left without a plan. She didn’t even know where she was going. She lay down and pulled the covers over her shoulders letting the tears stream down her face until sleep overcame her.


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## FGRanch

Well Farmpony, you got me. The story seems like it's gonna be very iteresting. I like you style of writing. 

If I were you I would carry on. It was rather good.


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## farmpony84

I get a little sloppy here... please tell me if i need to change course!


His cell phone was ringing. Jason could hear it vibrating on his dresser. He forced his eyes open. Sun was streaming through the bedroom window. He rolled over to focus on the alarm clock next to him. It was blinking. The power had gone out! He jolted upright and stumbled out of the bed to his cell phone. The clock on the front of the small black phone read 6:45 am. He’d slept in. Cursing loudly he flipped open the phone. “Give me twenty minutes.” He croaked in a sleepy voice. 
“You can have an hour. I slept in too.” A soft feminine voice responded. He grunted, snapping the phone shut. Lindsey Gray, his partner lived in the same apartment complex. He should have assumed she’d lost power too. On his way to the shower he glanced out the bedroom window and that’s when he realized Sam’s car was not in its usual space. He scanned the parking lot, the car was gone. Curious where she’d have gone so early in the morning, especially without waking him up first, he headed for the kitchen. There was no note on the refrigerator. He checked the counter tops and the kitchen table. She always left a note. A knot formed in the pit of his stomach. Something wasn’t right. 
In the bedroom he yanked open the door to her closet. Empty. She’d even taken the hangers. He pulled the top drawer of her dresser so hard that it came completely out. He dropped the empty drawer on the floor. His stomach was aching.
After a five minute shower he was in his truck and headed to Cloverleaf stables. It was situated just a few miles from Clover hills Apartment Complex and was one of the amenities offered to tenants for a small fee. He raced into the barn. Both horses occupied their respective stalls. His horse Traveler greeted him with a friendly sniffle and snort while Sam’s horse China Doll nuzzled his hand looking for treats. The stable hands were just beginning to feed horses on the other end of the barn. He found Beth Cuddlam, the manager. Her back was to him as she picked a stall.
“I want notes posted on my stalls and in my files. Those horses do not leave this facility without my permission. Is that clear?” He must have sounded gruff because she dropped her pitchfork and nearly jumped out of her skin. Not wanting to give her any details he turned to go.
“She left.” When Beth made that simple statement, the knot in his gut twisted and he felt sick. He faced the tiny red head feeling like he might explode at any moment. She and Sam had become very close over the years, although Jason had met her first, when he’d scoped the area out after he’d been accepted into the police enrollment program a few months before graduation. She had been in high school herself at the time, she was a little on the nerdy side, big into marching band, in love with horses, and terrified of boys. She was enthralled by the romantic aspect of Sam and Jason’s life. Her parents owned the apartment complex so it was easy for her to help them orchestrate their escape from the small farming town they’d been born and raised in by skipping them to the head of the waiting list for a stall and getting them accepted into the First Start program that guaranteed rent controlled apartments. Of course she would have known about their marital problems with as much time as his wife spent with the horses. Sam would have told her.
Sam’s parents had never liked him, they’d interfered every way imaginable, including forbidding her to date him. It hadn’t stopped them. In fact, it had made them want each other that much more and was quite possibly the driving factor in their decision to have sex on her sixteenth birthday. His parents had always known about their secret romance, the entire town had. His parents adored Samantha Lang. His father had even loaned him the horse trailer that night because Sam had been so afraid her father would sell her Arabian mare when he found out what they’d done.
He turned on his heels and headed for his truck. He was late for work. Lindsey was standing beside her car when he pulled into the parking lot. 
“I thought I was driving this week.” She took time to glare at him before climbing into the truck beside him and shoving her gray and pink duffle bag at her feet. She had always been a little short on the temper.
“I’ve been waiting for ten minutes.” She complained through the rubber band clamped between her teeth as she pulled her thick black hair into a pony tale. She had on a tight pair of faded blue jeans with a rip in one knee and a thin white tank top. It was her small athletic build and soft curves that had Jason the envy of the department for snagging such a sexy partner. He’d been relieved when Sam had taken to Lindsey so quickly. They had immediately become the ultimate girlfriends, renting chick flicks and shopping at the mall. It should have been a blessing but it turned out to be a constant source of frustration by erasing the line between work and home.
“Slow down!” Lindsey yelped. She yanked on her seatbelt as he peeled out of the parking lot, sending the contents of her open duffle bag spilling across the floorboard of the truck. 
“**** it Cameron! You are getting on my last nerve!” She bent down picking up various items. “What is wrong with you?” She shoved a compact into a side compartment, grabbing a handful of loose change from the floorboard she held open her hand to pick out pieces of dirt and straw only to send it scattering when the truck lurched as he took a turn just a little too fast. “Jason.” She growled slamming objects into her bag. “You know I can’t stand the silent treatment!” She waved a tampon at him pulling the duffle bag into her lap, stuffing her gym shoes in before zipping it shut. She waved the tampon again. “Either spill it or drop it because I’m not spending my…” She held the tampon up, making a face at it. She unzipped the bag and shoved it in. “not spending my day like this.” She completed her statement in a less severe tone.
“Later.” He forced the word out through the pressure in his throat. He felt drained. He was confused and lost. He felt like he should have known she was leaving, he sent a searing look towards his partner, something told him she knew. He should have stopped her. He felt like he should be kicking mad or crying sad yet all he could feel was sick to his stomach. He knew he should be hunting her down, yet he was headed to work as if it were a normal day. Maybe it was shock.


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## PoptartShop

Really good so far, keep it up!!


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## horsey*kisses

really really good, i like it so far, nice job, 8)


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## Angel_Leaguer

I think it sounds really good


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## meggymoo

Wow....... :shock: 

I want more. I love it.


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## farmpony84

The room was shaking. There was a rumble outside that sounded like the revving of a big engine. Sam rolled towards the right side of the bed. Jason’s side of the bed. She sat up with a start. It all came rushing back. The long drive, the terrible rainstorm, crossing the state line, and finally ending up at the tiny motel. She’d done it. She had left the only man she’d ever loved. Sitting in this strange room all alone, missing him so badly made everything suddenly seem so wrong. She hugged her knees close to her body wondering what to do now. She hadn’t planned this out as well as she should have. She never really thought she’d go through with it and now here she was. In a motel. Halfway to nowhere.
After a long shower, Sam took time to blow dry her golden locks and apply a light dusting of make-up before slipping into a comfortable pink and white sweat suit. She thanked the women at the desk when she turned in her key and accepted the free jelly filled donut that was offered to her on the way out the door. She took a deep breath of asphalt scented air and couldn’t help but smile as she took the drivers seat. She knew where she was going. The only place she could go. She was going home, to Crabtree lane. To her mother and father, the people she’d walked away from so many years before. She was going back to her old life. To the place she grew up. The only other place in the world that she knew she could belong without the man that had defined her for so many years.
Once the decision to return to Destiny had been made, the miles seemed to disintegrate as dotted lines turned to solid and sturdy highway faded into winding country roads. The scenery became less foreign and more familiar with every turn until she entered the county line. Butterflies danced in her stomach as she drove passed endless farms and sporadic housing developments. There was a new high school and a middle school was added so that it no longer shared space with the elementary school. She stopped at the single light on Main Street. The Courthouse looked small, dwarfed by the solid Oak trees surrounding it. There was a Dairy Queen that hadn’t been there before and a movie rental store, a few gas stations, but all in all, the town hadn’t changed. She turned onto Robinson drive unconsciously lifting her foot slightly off the accelerator. The closer she came to that final turn onto Crabtree lane the slower she wanted to go. It had been ten years since she’d left. She’d spoken to her parents over the phone and e-mail, she’d sent letters and postcards, but she hadn’t spoken to anyone else from the town accept Jason’s family, who had visited several times. He’d visited them as well but she had always found some reason to stay behind. She remembered to send every Christmas and birthday card for her parents and brother, and they had returned the favors but because she was a little ashamed by the way she’d done things, she allowed herself to become more and more estranged from them. Jason had never agreed with that, he’d always said that they’d love her forever, no matter who she’d chosen to spend the rest of her life with. He’d never been angry or hurt by the way they’d turned their noses at him. It was strange the way they’d disliked him because they were normally such open hearted loving people. Jason always insisted it was because she was their little girl and it wouldn’t have mattered if he’d been a millionaire’s son rather then the youngest son of Dirk Cameron, local rancher and lady’s man. He swore they’d hate him anyway and he promised he’d show them how much he adored her someday. That was Jason though, big hearted Jason. She wondered where that man had gone and when he’d become the quiet, withdrawn, distant man that came home to her every night. And now, here she was running like a scared little rabbit to the parents she had left, knowing that they would take her in because that’s the kind of people Jason always insisted her parents were.


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## gaitedlove_9

first off thank you so much for the help with my post.

i like your story especially since the mare's name is China Doll, that's my horse's name hahahaha.

i would like to see more horses in it maybe, that's all i really got but other than that it's really good.


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## farmpony84

I want to get them back into the home town they were raised in and back on "the farm" but I'm trying to figure out how to get them there... because obviously they ahve to fall in love all over again.... UGH! so stuck...


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## gaitedlove_9

ahhhh writer's block

that's cursed thing. lol.

yeah i'm kinda stuck with mine too. but your's is going great so far. can't wait to read the final thing


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## propelgirl4eva

*this is the best work!*

* you really need to do more..... :shock: omg i love it...so addicting. please write more! your writing style is addicting..so vivid and beautiful...in a word, perfect!*


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## farmpony84

Oh! thankyou... I will start working on it ASAP!


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## Cat

Have you heard of National Novel Writers Month? Its in November. I'm signed up for it and from what others said its a blast and crazy. Its where you try to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days to get a rough draft. Its suppose to help get ideas flowing because you don't have time to perfect anything - just write and write and see where the story takes you. Then December is edit month.


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## farmpony84

that sounds really cool! You just scribble it all down and then go back and re-read / edit the next month?


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## farmpony84

They were sitting at the kitchen table, Samantha, Her mom, and Donovan Lang, her father. Loretta had hastily thrown together sandwiches, cutting the crust off and slicing them two ways to make tiny squares, she even heated some tomato soup. Sam used her spoon to create a tiny wake in the red liquid. She hadn’t planned on saying much about the split, maybe just mentioning a little planned alone time. She had wanted to work through her emotions before making any intentions known, yet with very little prompting she found herself talking about Jason and her dreams and how over the years their desires had become separate entities. She told her parents how she saved her spending money so that she wouldn’t leave him in a bind when she left and how she had waited for the school year to end so that she would have the summer to find a new job and to get settled. She even mentioned how she hadn’t really known where she was headed until she woke up at the motel with an overwhelming need to be home, with them, where she’d feel safe and loved. She cried when she talked about the night of graduation and how she’d never meant to hurt them and how she had missed them terribly and the way Jason used to insist she call them or write, just something to let them know she cared. 
Loretta and Donovan both insisted there was nothing to forgive because over the years, they found a way to understand and respect her decisions. She could feel the hidden tensions but chose to ignore them, wanting to believe the picture perfect reunion her parents were trying so hard to give her. She shocked herself by telling them it was over. She even used the word divorce. They sat silently at the table staring at their soup. Her father stood and walked to the window, his hands clasped behind his back.
“Where are you planning to live?” She knew he meant, was she moving back to Destiny.
“I don’t know, I never thought I’d actually leave.” She sighed heavily, picking up her bowl of soup and rinsing it in the kitchen sink. “Here, I think.” Adding, “If I can find a job.” 
Her father removed his glasses, wiping them with a red bandanna. “You’ll work at the diner until you can find something, schools around her are always short handed, finding a teaching job won’t be hard.” He started to add something but stopped short. Sam glanced at her mom trying to catch a silent warning but if there had been one, she’d missed it.
“Will you stay here?” her mother asked tentatively. She was nervously ringing a napkin with her hands. 
“I hadn’t planned to.” Seeing the look of despair cross her mothers face she quickly added. “But I haven’t found a hotel yet either. Maybe I could stay here while I find a house to rent?” She sat next to her mother. “I just want to be on my own. I mean, really on my own.” She smiled and took the napkin from her mothers hands. “I want to see if I can make it on my own.”


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## farmpony84

...Am I making her parents too understanding???


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## amandaandeggo

well youve got me hooked


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## farmpony84

gonna work on this some more... i don't want to make people too forgiving.... and too perfect.....


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## farmpony84

“Will you stay here?” her mother asked tentatively. She was nervously ringing a napkin with her hands. 
“I hadn’t planned to.” Seeing the look of despair cross her mothers face she quickly added. “But I haven’t found a hotel yet either. Maybe I could stay here while I find a house to rent?” She sat next to her mother. “I just want to be on my own. I mean, really on my own.” She smiled and took the napkin from her mothers hands. “I want to see if I can make it on my own." She thought about adding that she was afraid they would fall back into where they were when they left off ten years ago, with all the fighting, screaming, and slamming doors. Things seemed so nice right now, tense, but... nice. She wanted it to stay that way.
"I'm not sure being handed a job at the diner is what I meant by making it on my own, but... Yes daddy. I'll take you up on that offer. I'll even start tomorrow if that's alright with you." She grinned. Maybe things were going to be ok. Maybe her heart would continue to beat without Jason and maybe she wouldn't forget to breath. And with those two tiny thoughts the bubble burst and her stomach dropped making her feel empty inside all over again. She faked a smile as she helped her father lug suitcases into her old bedroom which was amazingly the same as the day she'd left it. The pink flowery bedspread had been replaced with a patchwork quilt and there were white lacy curtains, she didn’t remember those.
There was a bulletin board that had movie ticket stubs and some photographs. Ribbons from 4-H shows lined the walls and there was a poster of a boy band that had long since broken up. She picked up a tiny glass figurine and ran her finger over it. It was a fat little dapple gray pony. Jason had given it to her. She set it down and smiled at her father who had been watching her silently. 
He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but instead he just smiled and patted her arm before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him.


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## Walkamile

Farmpony84, to answer your question "could I write a book?", guess what, you already are. Keep it up, I'm really enjoying it.


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## farmpony84

Thanks! I'm really trying to finish this one... I have so many I've started and never come back to...It's so hard....


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## RusticWildFire

Great story! I've only gotten to 06-20-2008 so far but it's great! I can't wait to read more. But I must go to bed now...


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## RusticWildFire

Just finished.

Great story!!! Keep it up!


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## farmpony84

Here is a little more... I'm really open to constructive critisms. You can be hard on me if you want... 


 It had been three days since she’d left. It felt like a month. Jason had swung by the stables every morning and every evening just to make sure the horses hadn’t been moved. He’d spent extra time at the gym and his runs had been longer and harder because it seemed like physical exertion was the only thing to control the pain that he felt so deep in his chest. He knew he should go after her, he even knew where she’d gone because his older brother, Jake had called him the day after she’d left. He had seen her in town. He needed her back so why hadn’t he left yet? 
Early that afternoon he had dumped all of his remaining reporting requirements on his partner’s desk; he couldn’t concentrate long enough to spell out his own name. Lindsey hadn’t said much to him. He’d been late each morning and grown increasingly angry, yet she waited by his truck every morning. Never commenting on the fact that he’d run stop signs and balled tires. When he asked her to find a ride home because he needed to leave and she agreed without her usual constant nosy questions, he realized she knew. He could see it in her bright green eyes when she gave him that “you poor pitiful man” look. He wasn’t sure if she had known that Sam was leaving, but she definitely knew that Sam had left and that angered him terribly which is why he ignored the relentless banging on the door. He sat at the kitchen table staring at case files he had brought home. He couldn’t concentrate and nothing really made sense to him. This wasn’t like him, he was a man that could make swift decisions in life threatening situations, his reactions were quick and seemingly effortless. So how was this tiny women able to single handedly destroy entire center of gravity?


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## Walkamile

More pretty please! 

I'm curious, do you have an outline of where you are going? I'm very hooked on this story, so no pressure (haha), but you must finish this!


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## farmpony84

lol! i don't have an outline... or maybe? i just have pages of various notes and events listed....?


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## Walkamile

farmpony84 said:


> lol! i don't have an outline... or maybe? i just have pages of various notes and events listed....?


Is it possible to organize these events into a rough time line? Also, have you developed the characters on a separate sheet for future reference?
It's always helpful to have a beginning, middle , and end to a story and then fill in in between. Doesn't lock you in too tightly, but helps you stay true to the heart of the story. 

You're doing great!


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## farmpony84

thanks. I'll do that. I have some of the characters written down and described and then I have large events but I'll try to get it a little more organized.


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## farmpony84

I'M STUCK! Someone tell me if I'm going the right direction. (she is NOT going to hit on him by the way)...

Early that afternoon he had dumped all of his remaining reporting requirements on his partner’s desk; he couldn’t concentrate long enough to spell out his own name. Lindsey hadn’t said much to him. He’d been late each morning and grown increasingly angry, yet she waited by his truck every morning. Never commenting on the fact that he’d run stop signs and balled tires. When he’d finally decided he had to do something and had asked her to find a ride home she agreed without her usual constant nosy questions. That is when he realized she knew. He could see it in her bright green eyes when she gave him that “you poor pitiful man” look. He wasn’t sure if she had known that Sam was leaving, but she definitely knew that Sam had left and that angered him terribly which is why he ignored the relentless banging on the door. He sat at the kitchen table staring at case files he had brought home. He couldn’t concentrate and nothing really made sense to him. This wasn’t like him, he was a man that could make swift decisions in life threatening situations, his reactions were quick and seemingly effortless. So how was this tiny women able to single handedly destroy his entire center of gravity?
 The clock on the kitchen wall read 6:45. He could hear a key being inserted into the lock on the door. The knob moved and the door flew open. He had known it was Lindsey just as he had known she’d eventually use the spare key hidden above the porch light. Her arms were full with two large brown paper sacks, Chinese food judging by the smell. Jason ran a hand through his dark hair as he watched her kick the door shut with her foot and stumble over the throw rug she’d knocked out of place with the door. She slammed the food on the counter and handed him a paper box without a word. Heading into the kitchen she grabbed a soda from the refrigerator.
 “How long has Sam been gone?” She rummaged through the kitchen drawer for a fork before taking a seat across from him. She pulled her legs up onto the chair and dug into a carton of fried rice. He feigned a confused look. “Gone?” He asked.
 “I’m not stupid. You guys have been having problems for months. It’s not like I’m shocked.” That did it. He wasn’t going to sit here and listen to any speeches or accusations. He stood so fast he knocked the chair out from under himself. 
 “You can leave now.” The words were soft but dangerous. He could feel his face redden with anger. She remained seated and continued to eat her dinner. After taking a long slow swig of her soda she glanced at the stone faced man before her. He stood with his legs in a fighter’s stance. His fist were balled as if to contain the rage. The fabric of Navy blue t-shirt stretched taught against his rock hard frame. He really was a handsome man. But he was someone else’s man.


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## RusticWildFire

I think it sounds good. I think it's going in a good direction. Maybe throw a twist in and have his wife come back and leave again? Not sure if you are asking where to go from here or just if you are heading in the right direction.

Ooor have her turn up pregnant and after being upset he ends up happy? 

I dunno! I don't wanna tell the story for you!


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## G and K's Mom

I'm really enjoying this Farmpony, but SOMEONE has to have an affair. Sam must have an old childhood sweetheart.


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## farmpony84

uh oh... you want an affair...???? Hmm... maybe i can come up with something....


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## Walkamile

Sometimes temptation that comes very close to changing someones life can actually help redirect what they really want in life.


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## farmpony84

hmmmm.....


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## G and K's Mom

Oh Farmpony..... you can't leave us hanging forever..............


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## RusticWildFire

We want more!! We want more!! We want more!!


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## Spastic_Dove

MORE! I demand it!


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## IheartPheobe

We need more!!


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## Iluvjunior

More more more!!!!!!!!!!!!please


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## xeventer17

what everyone else said! haha


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## 1dog3cats17rodents

This is the first time I've read a novel online that really was publishing quality. Have you taken courses on writing? This is fabulous! Great description, and I love the style. Please keep up the excellent work!


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## farmpony84

You guys are making me blush! I took creative writing classes in college but my teacher didn't like my writing much! I'm going to start working on this again tomorrow.... I'm so excited! Thanks guys....


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## Iluvjunior

your welcome we hope to see more


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## farmpony84

“You can leave now.” The words were soft but dangerous. He could feel his face redden with anger. She remained seated and continued to eat her dinner. After taking a long slow swig of her soda she glanced at the stone faced man before her. He stood with his legs in a fighter’s stance. His fist were balled as if to contain the rage. The fabric of Navy blue t-shirt stretched taught against his rock hard frame. He really was a handsome man. But he was someone else’s man. And Lindsey was not the kind of man to fool with another women’s property. She set her food carton down and stood, brushing a few stray pieces of fried rice from her t-shirt before stepping up to the stone man before her. She stood a mere inch from his chest, her chin tilted to an angle that had her eyes just level with the bridge of his nose.
 Using the same dangerously quiet tone he had just moments before, she said.
 “I will leave when I’ve finished the discussion I came here to have.” She paused temporarily loosing her confidence just a tad she stepped back until she was in a more comfortable position, feet rather then inches from that powerful frame.
She sucked in a deep breath and began the lecture she had practices all the way from the Chinese restaurant and back to the Cameron apartment. 
 “You are my partner and we have a dangerous job. That means that my life is in your hands eight to ten hours a day. Sometimes more. Most of the time I am very comfortable with that idea, I have full trust in you and your capabilities. But these days you aren’t even on this planet. I’m not done living Jase. I haven’t even ever been in love before and I’m not about to let you take that away from me when you make some rookie mistake because you’re pining over a women that you lost because you are a stupid stupid man!” Ok, she thought, judging by the look in his eyes, she may have gone just a teensy bit over board with the stupid stupid man comment. But that was the description Sam always used to explain why she was so angry with him. She had never gone into any details, she’d only ever said that he was a “stupid stupid man” and Lindsey had never pushed, not really knowing how the boundaries between partner and friend should work. Who do you side with? The man that backs you up in the most dangerous of situations, or the women that you sit beside on the bleachers and rank the tightness of butts while watching the interagency police baseball game?


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## farmpony84

He stood there, frozen for so long she started to wonder if he’d lost the power to blink. He was so still that she wasn’t quite sure if he was even breathing, although his face had turned several more shades of red, which she wouldn’t have thought possible. He was actually bordering on purple at this point.


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## draftlover215

Farmpony - You're story is pretty darn good! I like how you are starting to flesh out the characters nicely. 

You asked if the parents were too understanding, in answer to your question, NO they're not. You've made it clear there's an underlying tension with them and their daughter, that they're not sure how to approach her or her situation but they are doing what many parents will do with their adult child - offer help as best they can. 

I like how you have Jason's partner is coming around nicely. as someone who has worked in the emergency services I can tell you that you develop a very strong bond with your partner. It is something that borders on the trust, commitment and understanding that goes into a marriage. You know how to push, and back off, all at just the right times and you can get away with saying a LOT of crap to them that you couldn't say to anyone else (like when she gets up in his face and lectures him about being stupid). It happens allllll the time! But, just like any good commited relationship, we kiss and make up (not literally LOL) and understand that while a little calous in the approach our partner was only being honest. 

Keep it coming! I love your use of sensory input, all the sounds and sights and smells and small, minute details you throw in to make someone feel like they are truly there. I can't wait to find out what has happened on the job that was the catalyst in Jason's change of personality...or maybe he's just been doing it for so long he's burning out? My husband can be distanced when it concerns hard, traumatic calls just like your Jason (must be the name LOL). It usually only lasts until the next morning, going to sleep at night is like hitting a reset button for him, but he becomes very quiet and withdrawn. It's hard to see the horror of the streets day after day, trust me I know. I worked EMS in NYC.  

Ah, I'm rambling! Wonderful job and keep it coming, I'm dying to see what comes next. If you need any "real life" input let me know. Authors always have actual sources they go to for their subject matter on certain things to make sure they have all the facts about how something works. Feel free to PM me!


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## farmpony84

draftlover your input was awesome! Thanks, and I will PM you for advice! You hit it right on too... It is something on the job that brought forth the change....


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## draftlover215

Good to see my couple of semesters as an English major paid off! LOL


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## Siestasgirl16

It rocks!!!!


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## 1dog3cats17rodents

Amazing!


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## farmpony84

He stood there, frozen for so long that she started to wonder if he’d lost the power to blink. He was so still that she wasn’t quite sure if he was even breathing, although his face had turned several more shades of red, which she wouldn’t have thought possible. He was actually bordering on purple at this point. And then he crumpled. For less then an instant he shattered. His eyes glazed, his mouth drooped, his body shook. It happened so quickly that she almost missed it. In just about the same amount of time that it would take to blink an eye, his composure was gone. Yet in less then a breath he was back, sturdy and strong. In that short instant Lindsey saw the damage he had suffered the night his wife of ten years had walked out on him. At that moment she knew, she had been out of line speaking to him that way. She set her food carton down and headed to the door.
 “Wait.” He…… AGH! I’m Stuck….


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## farmpony84

“Wait.” She turned. He was still in the same statue like position he had been in moments before. Had he really asked her to wait or had she imagined it. “I don’t know what she wants me to do.” He sat at the table staring at the food in front of him. 
 “I think she wants you to be happy.” Lindsey whispered before turning to walk out the door. He didn’t watch her go, he just sat there, staring at a plate of Chinese food. He picked up his plastic fork, shoved it deep into the rice and then dropped it in the nearest trash can. He wasn’t hungry. He looked around the empty house not really seeing anything. The TV was dark but he had too much energy to sit still long enough to watch a program. There were dishes in the sink, but he didn’t have the right kind of energy to clean them. He decided to go for a run.


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## 1dog3cats17rodents

Wow, I still love it! I'm glad that you started it again, I was afraid you'd abandoned it!


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## LeahKathleen

Yay Farmpony is back with more of this story!

Love it. I'm a creative writing major, so if you want to discuss it you can PM me or you have AIM I can give you my sn. Love your voice and your style, and its very consistent. Lots of character development, which I like. There are a few things I would change, but it's a work in progress draft. Keep it up! :]


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## farmpony84

“I think she wants you to be happy.” Lindsey whispered before turning to walk out the door. He didn’t watch her go, he just sat there, staring at a plate of Chinese food. He picked up his plastic fork, shoved it deep into the rice and then dropped it in the nearest trash can. He wasn’t hungry. He looked around the empty house not really seeing anything. The TV was dark but he had too much energy to sit still long enough to watch a program. There were dishes in the sink, but he didn’t have the right kind of energy to clean them. He decided to go for a run. 
 He ran seven miles that night before dragging himself up the steps and forcing himself to take a shower before dropping into bed, too exhausted to think. He slept without dreams that night. When morning came he rolled out of bed and went through motions feeling lost and empty inside. He knew what he needed to do, he just wasn’t sure if he should. 
 Later that afternoon Jason had followed Lindsey’s lead on a potential murder suspect. The victim had been a heroin addict who had just been released from a rehab institution. He had been a low-life just out of his teens, but a life that maybe could have been redirected. Jason swore he would die believing that people could be saved, if they wanted it bad enough. Scum bag or not, the victim deserved justice. The suspect was a known dealer of low quality drugs and was known to sell during his shift as a convenience store clerk. His partner waited in the alley, just outside the backdoor, hand on her gun and prepared for a fight has he entered the front door and walked straight up to the counter.
“Eddie Mills?” He asked the sandy haired kid standing behind the register. He had a smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose and wide blue eyes. He looked like your average everyday skate-boarding teenager with his oversized long sleeved shirt and his suede tennis shoes. Jason knew he wasn’t. Not only was he much older then he looked, but he was dangerous. Lindsey had told Jason he would run and she was right. The “kid” shoved a rack of cigarettes at Jason and leapt over the counter. Leaving the bell above the door clanging as he made his escape.
 Jason cursed loudly. “I didn’t even get to show him my badge.” He grumbled as he took off in pursuit. He yelled for his partner as he raced across the street. Eddie was fast for a scrawny guy. More then likely he wasn’t a user, which meant he was probably in pretty good physical shape. Jason picked up the speed a notch and darted around a stroller, almost knocking a kid off of a bicycle. Where did all these people come from? Rounding the corner towards an alley he caught up with his suspect, who was finally beginning to tire. Jason gasped when he stepped into a pot hole causing his left ankle to turn in an unnatural way. He leapt forward, tackling the guy hard and saw stars for a moment when the side of his face met the pavement. He laid across the guy while he dug out his handcuffs and shoved them on his wrists. 
 “I just wanted a cup of coffee.” He mumbled to the guy. He started to haul him to his feet but thought better of it as a streak of pain seared his left ankle. His stomach turned slightly so he sat on Eddie Mills while he waited for the back-up that he knew Lindsey had called would come. He could actually here the sirens in the distances as he read him the Miranda rights.
 “Good Golly your fast!” Lindsey called out when she turned the corner. “Mr. Mills.” She acknowledged the suspect. “How are you?”


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## farmpony84

“Good Golly your fast!” Lindsey called out when she turned the corner. “Mr. Mills.” She acknowledged the suspect. “How are you?” Lindsey cuffed the suspect before yanking him to his feet. Sirens and tire screeches filled the alley with the arrival of back-up. 
 “Check him for weapons.” She ordered the officer as she handed the suspect over. She knelt beside her partner. “You OK?” She asked as touched a raw scrape that ran from just above his eye brow to his quickly swelling cheek bone. She heard him let out a hiss and felt someone gently push her out of the way. The EMT’s had come out of nowhere it seemed. There were three of them in dark jackets speaking quietly but firmly while Bobby argued every request they made. The asked the basic questions while one of them, John Tucker, who she had met just last week at another incident, shined a flashlight in Bobby’s eyes. 
“I didn’t hit my head you moron.” Bobby growled. “Just help me up.” He was getting angrier by the minute at all this fuss in the middle of an alley way just because he twisted his ankle stepping off a curve. He’d be fine once he walked it off. John Tucker turned to Lindsey and asked.
“Do you happen to have a mirror?” This time it was her turn to get angry. What? Because she was a girl she’d carry a mirror wherever she went? He must have realized how his question came across because his blue eyes widened just a fraction and he moved out of the firing range of her clenched fist. He pulled a cell phone from his pocket and snapped a picture. 
 “Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?” He asked, handing the phone to Bobby for inspection.


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## LeahKathleen

Ok... I like where this story is going, but who is Bobby? I thought his name was Jason? Did I miss something completely?

Also, did Jason or Lindsey cuff the guy?


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## APHA MOMMA

Oh I love the story but on the last part I have the same questions as posted above. I thought his name was Jason also and I thought he was the one to cuff the guy first???? Keep it up though, I am loving it and I am hooked!


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## farmpony84

****! Sorry... I started another story That I havent' posted because I was stuck and his name is Bobby... Sorry about that... OK... Jason, yes his name is Jason! Sorry!!!! I should have read a couple paragraphs before continuing on to refresh my memory! I will fix it!


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## LeahKathleen

****, Jenny that's hilarious.

In any case, I love where the story's going. :]


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## farmpony84

Thanks! And your right about the cuffs too... that's what happens when you take too long a break I geuss! Teehee....


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## farmpony84

“Good Golly your fast!” Lindsey called out when she turned the corner. “Mr. Mills.” She acknowledged the suspect. “How are you?” Lindsey yanked the him to his feet just asthe sounds of sirens and tire screeches filled the alley with the arrival of back-up. 
“Check him for weapons.” She ordered the officer as she handed the suspect over. She knelt beside her partner. “You OK?” She asked as touched a raw scrape that ran from just above his eye brow to his quickly swelling cheek bone. She heard him let out a hiss and felt someone gently push her out of the way. The EMT’s had come out of nowhere it seemed. There were three of them in dark jackets speaking quietly but firmly while Jason argued every request they made. The basic questions were asked while one of them, John Tucker, who she had met just last week at another incident, shined a flashlight into Jasons eyes. 
“I didn’t hit my head you moron.” Jason growled. “Just help me up.” He was getting angrier by the minute with all this fuss in the middle of an alley way just because he twisted his ankle stepping off a curve. He’d be fine once he walked it off. John Tucker turned to Lindsey and asked.
“Do you happen to have a mirror?” This time it was her turn to get angry. What? Because she was a girl she’d carry a mirror wherever she went? He must have realized how his question came across because his blue eyes widened just a fraction and he moved out of the firing range of her clenched fist. He pulled a cell phone from his pocket and snapped a picture. 
“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?” He asked, handing the phone to Jason for inspection. He stopped struggling to stand for a moment before shoving the phone at John. "If you don't help me up I'm going to knock you out." He threatened between gritted teeth. 
"You heard the man. Help him up." The blue eyed paremedic stood back and shoved his hands in his pockets. "When he falls flat on his face, we'll strap him to a back board and haul is butt in." Jason let out a string of curses on the way up, he swayed for an instant but stood his ground.
"You were saying?" He glared at John Tucker. Lindsey had the distinct feeling that those two men had a history. What she didn't know was if they were rivals or friends. That is until John Tucker threatened to call Sam unless he climbed aboard the ambulance and took a ride to the local ER. That's when she realized he was the first responder Sam had been trying to fix her up with for months. She cocked her head sideways as she watched his tight rear-end forceably guide her partner into the ambulance.
When the doors to the emergency vehicle closed she flipped her cell phone opened and scrolled through her contacts until she found Sam's name.


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## BaileeJJMommy

I just found this story but I LOVE IT! Please keep it going!


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## farmpony84

Business was booming at Lang Diner on Thursday night. It seems word had spread quickly that a certain member of biggest scandal in the history of Destiny had returned. There wasn’t an empty booth in the establishment, even the old counter stools were filled to capacity. Sam was so busy topping off coffee cups that she hadn’t paid any attention to the clang of the bell as the latest patron walked in, nor had she noticed the sudden silence that followed. That is until she glanced up to give a welcome smile and froze. Her heart skipped a beat for just an instant when her eyes collided with her husbands oldest brother. She gasped when she realized that the coffee she was pouring had overflowed, filling the saucer and spilling onto the counter. She slammed the pot down and ripped the rag from her apron, apologizing to a local rancher.


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## 1dog3cats17rodents

Yay! I love your stories


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## ShutUpJoe

THis is an awesome story. Do you know how to do a synopsis? Because you are going to need it. 


The only thing I would change is adding more description in the locations. You need to make the reader feel like they are in the subject's shoes. Which it seems you are going for with the wife. But it's partly blinded. I know what the motel room kind of looked like and her room at the house. But I'd add more about the diner, the apartment, the truck, the stable. That way you feel like you are there.


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## farmpony84

The description is where I'm kind of getting stuck. It's alot harder then I'd think it would be. I can picture everything in my head but it's hard to get it on paper....  I will keep trying. With all the snow we are getting... I've got nothing better to do...


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## ShutUpJoe

I know what you mean. My problem is getting certain sentences to sound right. Some days I spend hours just thinking over a sentence.


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## farmpony84

Business was booming at Lang Diner on Thursday night. It seems word had spread quickly that a certain member of biggest scandal in the history of Destiny had returned. There wasn’t an empty booth in the establishment, even the old counter stools were filled to capacity. Sam was so busy topping off coffee cups that she hadn’t paid any attention to the clang of the bell as the latest patron walked in, nor had she noticed the sudden silence that followed. That is until she glanced up to give a welcome smile and froze. Her heart skipped a beat for just an instant when her eyes collided with her husbands oldest brother. She gasped when she realized that the coffee she was pouring had overflowed, filling the saucer and spilling onto the counter. She slammed the pot down and ripped the rag from her apron, apologizing profusely to a local rancher. The silence in the diner was intense and Sam was certain she could feel everyones eyes on her. She raised her head and stared across the small resturaunt. Anger flickered when each person in the diner lowered their eyes to plates of half eaten meals. Ms. Priddy, a retired school teacher, ran her finger along the edge of the wooden booth she sat in, as if she were inspecting the flowery tooling that had been hand crafted into the old benches. Her husband pulled a hankerchief from his pocket and polished his old black plastic framed glasses. The Howards were suddenly enthralled by a map that was printed on the paper placemat at their table and Frank Beading, fire chief, was suddenly staring at something outside the pain glass window that lined the streets of Destiny. She finished wiping the wooden counter and fumbled underneath for a glass. The Camerons were born and bread true Southerners. Sweet tea was their drink of choice and everyone knew that Lorretta Lang made the best sweet tea this side of the highway. Her hands were shaking so badly it was all she could do to pour the golden brown liquid into the glass. Taggart was behind her, she could feel him. He took the glass from her hand. He grabbed a disposable cup and dumped the tea into it before taking a plastic top and a straw. 
"Let's go for a walk." His voice was barely above a whisper. He took her hand and pulled her out the door, not even waiting for her to remove her apron. The door clanged behind them as they headed down main street. It wasn't until they crossed the street at the corner that he dropped her hand. Because he was so much taller then her his stride long enough that she couldn't keep up close enough to see the expression on his face. When they reached the park he slowed his pace and settled on a bench near the duck pond motioning for her to take a seat next to her. She sat, head hung low, to ashamed to make eye contact. 
"I heard you were back." He said quietly. She shrugged.
"I heard you went by the high school looking for a job." He added.
"they have an opening." She stated.
"I heard you are living with your parents." Her head shot up.
"You heard alot." She snapped, shooting him a glare and really looking at him for the first time. There was no anger in his face at all, only compassion and caring. He was concerned. 
"How's that going for you?" He asked. "Living with your parents?"
"It's temporary." She told him. 
He patted her knee before reaching into his pocket and handing her a key. "The rental is empty and none of us have the time to deal with it."


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## xLaurenOscarx

i absoultly love it! ive got to page 2 of the thread but i have to go now but il be back later to read it


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## farmpony84

"I heard you were back." He said quietly. She shrugged.
"I heard you went by the high school looking for a job." He added.
"They have an opening." She stated.
"I heard you are living with your parents." Her head shot up.
"You heard a lot." She snapped, shooting him a glare and really looking at him for the first time. There was no anger in his face at all, only compassion and caring. He was concerned.
"How's that going for you?" He asked. "Living with your parents?"
"It's temporary." She told him. 
 “I heard you and Jason were going through a rough patch.”
 “You heard that? Or you assumed?” She asked.
He patted her knee. “I know. It’s complicated. None of my business. Go to hell and whatever else you’ve want to scream at the good citizens of Destiny. Shifting his weight, he reached into the front pocket of his tight fitting blue jeans and handed her a brass key.
"The rental is empty and with the summer season none of us have the time to deal with it right now." She took the key and fingered the tarnished horse head at the end of the chain. She and Jason had shared plenty of passionate nights in that old cabin. “It’s yours.” He told her when she started to hand the key back. “I can’t Tag. It’s…” She trailed off. Too weird? Not right? “It’s your handicapped accessible cabin.” That sounded lame.
 “All of our cabins are accessible now, remember, we’ve changed our focus. We are not a dude ranch anymore, we specialize in therapeutic riding and special needs kids.”
 “I didn’t know that.” Wow, she and Jason really had fallen apart hadn’t they?
 “Really?” He furrowed his brow. “It’s been several years since we made the switch. Jason didn’t tell you?” He asked.
 “Like you said. It’s complicated.” Hearing that her husband had left her out of the loop on the things that were happening back home really hurt. Sam knew that she had always put on a big front about not really caring about Destiny and it’s inhabitants but she did and she was sure her husband new that. At least, she thought he did.
 “I can’t afford to pay rent yet.” She mumbled
 “You don’t have to pay rent. You are family.” And before she could argue he said. “The place is fully furnished. Move in tonight if you want.” He got up to leave, sipping the straw on his sweet tea he waited for her. She got up and placed the key in her apron pocket. “Thank you.” She murmured. Feeling humbled by his generosity and by the sudden realization that her marriage was far more broken then she’d thought. They walked silently back to the diner. When they reached the door of the diner he stopped for a moment. “You know, he’ll come back don’t you?”


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## 1dog3cats17rodents

Love it! You are very talented


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## LeahKathleen

Don't leave me hanging!


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## farmpony84

Am I on the right track?


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## 1dog3cats17rodents

Yes, but maybe give a bit more introduction into the switch to the wife's story. It seemed abit abrupt. It took me a bit to figure out what was going on, lol


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## HollyLolly

This is such a fantastic story! I find it so captivating, much more so than many (most!) published books I have read!
Are you going to incorporate an affair? If so, while one starts to get tangled in the web of an affair, the other should have a change of heart and go to the other, only to find their spouse cheating... just an idea, or is it just too scandalous!? Anyhoo, whatever you decide to write, it's such a good story! (Just a little tip, remember to check your grammer, like your there, their and they're Etc. It's probs just a mistake due to wanting to get all what's in your head onto the screen haha, just a little tip to check)
Loving the story though! Wish I could write like this


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## farmpony84

HollyLolly said:


> This is such a fantastic story! I find it so captivating, much more so than many (most!) published books I have read!
> Are you going to incorporate an affair? If so, while one starts to get tangled in the web of an affair, the other should have a change of heart and go to the other, only to find their spouse cheating... just an idea, or is it just too scandalous!? Anyhoo, whatever you decide to write, it's such a good story! (Just a little tip, remember to check your grammer, like your there, their and they're Etc. It's probs just a mistake due to wanting to get all what's in your head onto the screen haha, just a little tip to check)
> Loving the story though! Wish I could write like this


ahhh... Thanks! I'm not sure what I'm going to do to add scandal, but it needs something doesnt it? And the grammar! You are so right. I really wish I had paid better attention in english class!


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## HollyLolly

It needs to get to a high point before they get back together, but of course, that is up to you 
And the odd grammar mistake never hurt anybody, it was just a teeny tip for when you edit it 
Please keep writing, you can't leave us hanging! hehe!


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## farmpony84

“Like you said. It’s complicated.” Hearing that her husband had left her out of the loop on the things that were happening back home really hurt. Sam knew that she had always put on a big front about not really caring about Destiny and it’s inhabitants but she did and she was sure her husband new that. At least, she thought he did.
 “I can’t afford to pay rent yet.” She mumbled
 “You don’t have to pay rent. You are family.” And before she could argue he said. “The place is fully furnished. Move in tonight if you want.” He got up to leave, sipping the straw on his sweet tea he waited for her. She got up and placed the key in her apron pocket. “Thank you.” She murmured. Feeling humbled by his generosity and by the sudden realization that her marriage was far more broken then she’d thought. They walked silently back to the diner. When they reached the door of the diner he stopped for a moment. “You know, he’ll come back don’t you?” With a tip of tip of his hat he turned on his heal and disappeared around the corner

 It was nearly dark by the time Sam climbed into her car to head over to the cabin on Sycamore road. Informing her parents of her decision to move into the cabin had been much easier than she had expected. It was strange how coming home and brought back all of childhood emotions. She had gone into the conversation expecting things to end on a low note and was pleasantly surprised at the outcome. Her father was concerned about the secluded location of the cabin and had suggested an alarm system. Sam remembered that cabin well. It was just far enough off the road for two teenagers to get lost inside each other. Her stomach felt hollow at the thought of returning to that old cabin. So many nights had been spent in a back room cuddled in a single sleeping bag, a dusty radio playing soft country music in the background. 
Taking that last turn was a shocker. The cabin had changed. Quite a bit, it looked more like an actual home rather then a weekend retreat. The old wooden logs had been bleached and stained a light color. White rose bushes surrounded a screened in porch that hadn’t been there before. A porch swing had been fastened to the overhang and bright colored petunias hung from a window ledge. A brass colored lamp post stood at the end of the pebbled walkway surrounded by yet, more boldly colored flowers. It was as though she had walked into a fairy garden. 
 Inside the house the furnishings were…


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## ilyTango

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't leave us with a ...! lol


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## kathryn

more???


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## farmpony84

Inside the house the furnishings weren’t nearly as sparse as she had remembered. The old wooden card table and chairs that used to sit in the center of the old cabin had been replaced by a cozy living room set, adorned with bright pillows. The hardwood floors were covered with a cheery tapestry that accented the furniture. There was an antique looking chest in the place of a coffee table and a country style kitchen table with matching chairs in the open kitchen. It was a very homey little cabin. She set her keys on a stand just inside the door and headed to the kitchen. In the center of the table was a vase filled with fresh cut flowers. Scribbled in a shaky mans handwriting was a note that simply read _welcome home girl_. The letter could only have come from Dirk Cameron, Jason’s father. It was strange the way she’d been welcomed back by so many folks after she’d run. Her husband had been back several times since they’d left, but she had simply refused. Stubborn is what Jason always called her, stubborn and maybe a little bit stupid. Was it wrong to miss him the way she did? Was it wrong to ache for him this way? Leaving was the right thing wasn’t it? They’d grown so far apart and their dreams were so different now. They didn’t belong together anymore. Did they? A single tear cascaded down her cheek as she stood in front of those beautiful fresh cut flowers.


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## 1dog3cats17rodents

I demand more!!!!!!!!


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## RedTree

love it 
with the afair thing I think Jason should have an affair and because her horse is still with Jason she can go back and get it and maybe she left something at the apartment? or just wanted to see him and catches him in the act?
lol not to good but a suggestion


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## farmpony84

I forgot about this one... should I keep going?


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## Chance59

farmpony84 said:


> I forgot about this one... should I keep going?


 Farmpony, I am new here, and obssessively reading all the posts I can! I just happened to find this thread this morning... very intersesting story you've written! Yes, you should keep going! Even if you never plan to publish or make the book public other than here, you should do it for yourself!  Besides..... I want to hear the rest!


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## shiningjewel

please continue with this


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## KaylaMarie96

Please write more! I am loving this story!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Meganu657

This is a good story. why didn't you finish it.


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## farmpony84

My home computer crashed so I haven't had a chance. Should I keep going?


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## Meganu657

yes you should. Its a very good story.


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## BarrelBunny

Oh my goodness, I just found this thread right now, lol. Your story is amazing so far! Please keep going!


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## sunset878

Please keep writing, I am enjoying it!!


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## farmpony84

Hauling a loaded horse trailer with a burned out clutch and a sprained ankle in the dead of night hadn't been one of his brightest ideas. Holding a hot cup of coffee while shifting the gears was also not one of his best ideas. Bobby cursed as hot liquid sloshed across his hand. Using his elbow to steer, he switched the cup to his other hand and forced the sticky gear into place with a loud grinding noise. He wiped his hand dry on his jeans and cursed some more. He was only an hour from his home town at this point and was beginning to wonder if he should have called ahead. The house would be unlocked....


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