# "So, I'm a stranger, and may I ride your horse?"



## rookie (May 14, 2012)

Welcome and to be honest this sounds like a terrible idea. I urge you not to talk to this owner about riding his horse. First he does not have the liability coverage if you get hurt. Second, it is his horse and in my experience as a horse owner, most of the time owners don't want strangers riding their horses. If an owner wants someone to ride a horse they will advertise. Third, you are a new rider and this horse may not be a match for you. Fourth, this horse may not be sound/healthy enough to ride. I would not talk to this owner about this horse and would continue to take lessons at a lesson barn. If you are interested more in horse ownerships I would look into a lease with a lesson barn. Where you can find a horse that is both appropriate skill level wise and you know is safe/sound enough to ride.


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## Drifting (Oct 26, 2011)

If someone came up to me and asked if they could ride my horse like that, I would flat out say no.

You should go up and ask him if he needs help around the barn. Tell him you've been taking lessons so you're familiar with basic horse care. The mare may have a reason why she's not being ridden, such as a soundness issue. By asking if you can be of any help, you'll get a chance to learn about the horses history and about the owner. 

Also, be aware the mare may have dietary restrictions and may not be allowed to have the horse treats you have. 

Once you get to know the owner a little, it wouldn't hurt to ask if the mare is ridable and if he minds if you ride her (With your parents permission and a signed liability waiver from your parents). You can ask to exchange ride time for the work you do.

I couldn't afford lessons when I was your age. A few neighbors had horses and I shyly went up to them and asked if I could pet them and if they needed help. Through that I started feeding them some days out of the week and got a pony ride occasionally (I didn't know how to ride enough not to be lead around.)


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

I agree with the others on all counts but would like to add....don't show up with all that stuff, that's kind of like showing up for a first date with a wedding catalog.


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## Cat (Jul 26, 2008)

I agree with everything else said. I personally get annoyed with the neighbor kid hanging on my fence to get a better look at my minis. Now if they came and asked me to see them, I would happily show them while I am present and let them pet them, but would never let any of them ride one of my big guys.

You can go ask, but don't be surprised if you get told no or are restricted to just some petting and grooming.


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## Midnite711 (May 30, 2014)

natisha said:


> I agree with the others on all counts but would like to add....don't show up with all that stuff, that's kind of like showing up for a first date with a wedding catalog.



hahahahahahahaha so true:lol:


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## tinaev (Dec 2, 2012)

I wouldn't respond well to a kid (or anyone!) showing up like you are planning to and asking to ride my horse. There's too much liability, and tbh too much hassle. If I want to deal with everything that comes with riding my horse I would advertise that he is available to lease.

It would be different if your family had a friendship with him or if he ever said across the fence "Hey, you should pop over and pet Snowflake sometime. We'll take you for a ride!". But just showing up at a stranger's door? No, bad idea.


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## 4horses (Nov 26, 2012)

I've known many people who were happy to let me ride their horses considering I "just showed up". In one case, I was also feeding the horses grass over the fence. The owner did not have time to ride anymore and was more than happy to let me put some saddle time on her horse. 

It really depends on your riding skill. An experienced rider is not as much of a problem. A child who is not experienced and can't get a halter on is more of an issue. I had a girl do that, she told my mom she knew all about horses and would clean paddocks in exchange for riding. When she came over she brought her friends, didn't know how to halter, and didn't have riding boots or a helmet. 

She got a few lessons, but we fired her after that, as it was a liability having her drop by with a gang of people.. Plus she took forever to get the chores done. I could do them in 1/2 the time it took her.


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## Jessabel (Mar 19, 2009)

You don't just walk up to a stranger and ask to ride their horse. That's one of the biggest no-no's ever. That's like asking a stranger if you can drive their car.

As long as she's healthy, she's none of your business. She might not be getting as much attention as you think she should, but again, it's seriously rude to knock on someone's door and ask to ride their horse. It's a liability on the owner's part, among other reasons.


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## Helquist (Jun 28, 2014)

My parents do know him a little, the horse would get out of her pasture and come over into our yard sometimes, but this was before I was born.
Thank you for your opinions. I know see how stupid and rude I would have been to go up and do that. Is there a way to lock a topic?


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## Britt (Apr 15, 2008)

I think, with the right direction and under the right circumstances, it wouldn't be too bad to ask to ride the horse.

Perhaps start just by talking to the owner when you see him, bring up how pretty the horse is, etc... over time, ask what the horse is trained in, etc... most horse-owners love to talk about their horses and can do so for hours.

I know that if someone came up to me out of the blue and asked to ride my horses, I'd say 'no', but if I knew them a bit and knew they were genuinely interested, I would be a bit more open to the idea.


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Truthfully, I think you would be much better served by finding a lesson barn or hiring a trainer to give you proper lessons.


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## JCnGrace (Apr 28, 2013)

This would be my conversation with your neighbor:

"Hi, my name is _____ and I was just thinking how terrible it is that we've been neighbors all these years and don't know each other. I wanted to let you know that if you ever need some chores done I would be happy to volunteer. I could mow your yard, pull weeds, run over to Walmart if you need something, clean your barn, feed your horse etc..."

She's elderly and has limited vision so there may be all kinds of things you could do to help her and I'm sure she'd appreciate the company. It would also be a very kind thing for you to do. I had a neighbor just like this (elderly and didn't drive, no horse) when I was a kid and she was thrilled to have me just visit her for 30 minutes or so every few days because she was lonely.

Once you get to know her and she gets to know you then you can broach the subject of exercising her horse for her. Of course you don't want to do any of this without permission from your parents but I bet they'd be proud of you for stepping up to plate and visiting with or helping out a senior citizen.


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## kiwi79 (Nov 11, 2011)

I definitely don't think its stupid or rude to go and introduce yourself and tell the owner that you have been admiring his/her horse over the fence. For sure you could offer to help out where possible even if riding the horse isn't an option. I don't think you will offend them if you are not straight out asking to ride the horse, like others have said the horse may not be rideable or not right for your level of riding right now. That said they may really appreciate someone that can spend some time with their horse and with them too.


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## Estrella de luna (Jun 27, 2014)

if someone asks me if She or he can ride My horse, i would say no. I never liked the idea of someone else riding My horse unless I'm comfortable with it. 

Maybe you can approach the owner and ask if you can groom his horse, saying you live next by and like his horse. 

He can say yes, but don't be surprised and Just leave and Thanks if hè says no.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ecasey (Oct 18, 2013)

I wouldn't say what you were considering to be stupid or rude. You're 14 and full of happy ideas, energy, and a love for horses - one in particular who you haven't really met met but have admired from afar. Nothing wrong with that. We adults tend to be less about that stuff and more about being sued, unfortunately. I second that comment about going over to introduce yourself and offering to help. You could eventually work a conversation around to the horse and what's up with it. If you've worked hard and been pleasant to be around, you just might get your chance, assuming the horse is safe to ride.


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## Palomine (Oct 30, 2010)

If there is already someone caring for horse, no need for you to go over there really.

And might also be that the person caring for horse is owner too, may have given horse to them and they are just keeping it there.

I can see where you want to take advantage of having horse close so to speak and being able to work/ride it. But as horse owner I wouldn't be in favor of it.

Also, something to consider, the grass you are feeding horse, is this lawn clippings, or grass you are just pulling from your yard? Does your yard have weed killer or anything put on it, that could harm horse, and lawn clippings can make horse very ill too, which a lot of people don't realize before they toss grass over after they mow.

By and large, your parents are making horses available to you, enjoy that, and just let horse be.

And not rude to wonder, and nothing wrong with asking here...good for people to consider this.


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## horselessmom (Apr 20, 2012)

Helquist said:


> My parents do know him a little, the horse would get out of her pasture and come over into our yard sometimes, but this was before I was born.
> Thank you for your opinions. I know see how stupid and rude I would have been to go up and do that. Is there a way to lock a topic?


You knew enough to ask for feedback, and people have given you ideas. I wouldn't advice you to give up. It never hurts to ask, you got some ideas here on how to ask. For every person who'd automatically say, "No," there will be a person who will give you more thought and who will appreciate your interest. 

Go and ask to hang out with the horse, groom her. Offer to do any chores in the barn and around. The worst that will happen is that your neighbor will say "no, thank you." 

About your riding. I don't ride and learned about riding through my daughter's lessons. When she was riding for about 1 year, I thought she was ready to lease a horse and ride outside of lessons. She looked so competent (to my untrained eyes) on her lesson horses. She could w/t/c easily. I saw a cheap lease posted in classified and I asked a horsey friend about this opportunity for DD, and she pointed out that she is nowhere near to riding a horse by herself--there's way more to riding than sitting on a lesson horse, good posture and all.

She's been taking lessons for 3 years now, switched several barns. She recently told me that during a group lesson another horse started to act out and was about to ram into DD's horse, as she was standing by the fence. She knew that the other horse would try to bite her horse, because she was aware of the dynamics between those two horses. She said, "You know, mom, it happened so fast, but I just knew what to do and did it automatically." Basically she had to be quite authoritative with her own horse and quite quickly and instinctually, in order to move out of her way. 

She also knows how to "get after" her horse without her trainer telling her what to do. 

And it is only now that her trainers started to comment to me on how well DD is *riding*--not how good her seat is. 

She's also very aware of horse "psychology" and behavior because she's been taking natural horsemanship lessons on the ground. 

Now, with more knowledge, I don't think she's ready to lease just any horse and ride on her own. Not yet. Even now, her trainer talks to her constantly through the entire lesson--collect the horse, do this, do that, leg on, softer hands, shoulders...There's just so much to know and to coordinate. She could lease a lesson horse and do reasonably well in the arena, but not a horse that we just see while driving by someone's field. 

Now I know enough to be absolutely certain that a year of weekly lessons does *not* prepare one to actively ride a horse. 

This said, I'd still encourage you to talk to your neighbor, preferably with your parents, and see what opportunities might be available to you. You will learn a lot even if all you can do is do chores around the barn and groom the horse. 

Check out books on horse massage, for example. Horse anatomy. Check out Parelli or Clinton Anderson natural horsemanship and learn about working a horse on the ground. 

If you are passionate and hard working and keep on learning, eventually someone will pay you (or at least not charge you) to ride their horse. 

All the best to you.


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

Nothing ventured nothing gained!

Wasn't this how Mark Rashid started out? By cycling to a neighbours field and petting the horses there?

I suggest that you go meet the owner and say how you love her horse and hope that she doesn't mind you petting her over the fence, then offering to help. 

As for riding, the fact that you won a third place at a small barn show, is not a testament as to how well you ride so leave off asking if you can ride the mare, just ask of you can brush her off and volunteer to help with chores.


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