# How do I say enough?



## MyBoySi (Dec 1, 2011)

I would think the bo should be the one to tell the girl not to work with the horse, especially if they have given you permission and you've talked about the girl intervening. 

If they are learning it up to you just be frank about it. Tell her your working said horse and having another person 'train' her at the same time is causing setbacks. Explain that you've talked it over with the bo and everyone has decided it would be in the horses best interest of you were the only one working out at this point in time. Thank get for what she has done and see if that does it, if not it's really up to the bo as its not your horse.


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## SEAmom (Jan 8, 2011)

I agree, that's a conversation the BO needs to have with this other girl.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bkylem (Sep 21, 2013)

I think I would simply say that you view slash! as a team effort due to the difficulty level of training her. You love having her help, but you sincerely think this is the best approach for all three of you. I would then ask her if she needed your help on her other two horses. I doubt if she will and she may softly get the message.

It probably won't be as bad as you think and the sooner you talk to her the better you will feel. Don't prolong it.

All the best !


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## spirit1215 (Mar 11, 2014)

Even just now she texted me after the fact of her working slash and riding MINE to try out a saddle. The only thing with the BO's is that they love this girl and have watched her grow up. I don't think they want to be the bad guys in this. I just think she's thinking that she can run over me simply because she's more "experienced"


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## horselovinguy (Oct 1, 2013)

First off...unless you buy the horse it isn't your horse so you can't call the shots...
The_ horses owner_ needs to make the determination of who works with_ their_ animal and *they*_ inform others _of that choice_. _
Till that time that the horses owner verbally or in writing notifies others about the "trainer"...you _can_ be one of many handling & training.
How many times in life are we "told" one thing by someone but it is not told to another...so egg on your face happens.

_In the meantime,_ a privately owned saddle is just that private property and _no one_ has the right to use it without your express permission _beforehand_.
You need to inform the barn owners that your saddle is *not *to be used by others for any reason.
Personally, as you don't own a horse at the barn, I would not be leaving my expensive investment their for any reason...it might be "easier" but you now are finding the pitfalls of others having access to your equipment...
Hopefully, the use of your saddle by others ceases..but unless under lock & key or in your possession...you have no way of truly knowing.
Me... that saddle_ would be_ in my car, in my house...in my possession _not _hanging out in a barn...

_jmo..._


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## spirit1215 (Mar 11, 2014)

No, I meant she rode my horse(who also boards there) to try out her saddle. I asked the BO's what they thought and that if they didn't want me working with Slash it was ok and that I'd understand. They said they wanted me to continue and one of them eve nsaid they didn't like the girl working with the mare. I just don't know how to approach the girl


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

spirit1215 said:


> No, I meant she rode my horse(who also boards there) to try out her saddle. I asked the BO's what they thought and that if they didn't want me working with Slash it was ok and that I'd understand. They said they wanted me to continue and one of them eve nsaid they didn't like the girl working with the mare. I just don't know how to approach the girl


This is one of my pet peeves in business, lack of leadership. It's not your place to speak with the girl, it's the OWNER of the horse's place and DUTY to speak with her. She's hired help, you're hired help and unless you're also wearing the Barn Manager title, you don't have the authority to tell her what to do with anything but your own property.


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## Left Hand Percherons (Feb 1, 2011)

It's not your place to say who rides whom when and where. If the BO doesn't want to be the adult here, I'd just tell them you can't work with the mare.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

Just stop working with the horse. Let the girl do what she wants and don't offer advice. You didn't see it. She might have to go to the school of hard knocks to learn but you need to let it happen. It may teach her that she's not as ready as she tho't she was and that may be the greatest teacher.


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## Luvs Horses (Jan 9, 2014)

Originally Posted by *spirit1215* http://www.horseforum.com/horse-boarding/how-do-i-say-enough-382410/#post5008010
_No, I meant she rode my horse(who also boards there) to try out her saddle.
_
Did she have permission from you to ride your horse? If not, then you need to let her know she is not allowed on your horse without your written consent. This would be a huge no no in my books. 

On the BO's horse, I agree with others that the BO needs to let this girl know who is allowed to train her mare. As long as the BO is allowing the girl to continue there is not much you will be able to do about it.


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## KigerQueen (Jun 16, 2013)

Tell the bo, ether you are the only one to work with this mare and THEY tell the girl to stop, or you wont work her.


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## verona1016 (Jul 3, 2011)

spirit1215 said:


> No, I meant she rode my horse(who also boards there) to try out her saddle.


This would **** me off more than anything. No one rides my horse without my permission, much less with tack that I haven't approved!

Make sure this girl knows in no uncertain terms that she is not permitted to handle your horse at all (unless she's doing official barn functions like turnout).

Then let the BO know that you're not comfortable setting the line for her horse and tell her you'd appreciate her informing this girl not to work with the horse you're training.

I had someone ride "my" horse (leased) _once_. The girl told my trainer that she had permission (from the horse's owner, not me). My trainer immediately contacted me, I contacted the owner, and when it was confirmed that she didn't have permission to ride that horse, she was asked to leave and not come back.


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## wyominggrandma (Nov 4, 2009)

I am glad I didn't have to board my horses. I can't imagine paying money for someone to take care of them, then find out that other people were riding my horses. I just don't get it. Is this common practice at boarding facilities?
It would be the same as taking my car into a shop to be fixed and then see it being used by an employee for their own use.


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## princessfluffybritches (Aug 10, 2012)

I would be fuming if someone rode my horse without permission. That's right there with using my toothbrush! She shows poor judgement just deciding to take your horse out. It also shows that she is walking all over you. And you are letting her. (sorry!) Thing is you have the right to stick up for yourself, right or wrong. The girl needs to know that you are in charge of Slash's training, and too many cooks spoil the broth and she needs to not touch your horse, and find another horse to train because the BO has already gotten you to train Slash, and mixed messages are not part of YOUR training. You can do it.


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## princessfluffybritches (Aug 10, 2012)

wyominggrandma said:


> I am glad I didn't have to board my horses. I can't imagine paying money for someone to take care of them, then find out that other people were riding my horses. I just don't get it. Is this common practice at boarding facilities?
> It would be the same as taking my car into a shop to be fixed and then see it being used by an employee for their own use.


 
I don't know if it's common practice. The 3 big places I've been to have had people that will question someone immediately who appears to be on a horse they don't own.


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## Janskee (Nov 16, 2013)

I board my horse and nobody is allowed to ride my horse without my permission, per my written contract
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## stevenson (Sep 12, 2011)

you say Nothing to someone who rode Your Horse without your being there and without your permission ! 
1) I would text, and then phone the girl, and if she is under age , her parents and let them Know YOUR horse is not to be ridden . No ifs no ands no buts. Not to be ridden. I would also tell the BO or Manager that your horse is not to be ridden by AnyOne. 
2) The owner of the other horse is responsible for telling each person if they are allowed or not allowed to train or handle the horse. 
3) if you are not comfortable with both of you handling the horse, Then do not handle the horse and tell the owners that you will not be helping while the other girl is . If they want you to continue they Must speak to the other girl.


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## spirit1215 (Mar 11, 2014)

Ok thanks guys! I'm meeting up with her and the BO's to figure out what they want. I'd love to continue working with her since she'd be my first horse I've broken. But like you guys said, I should just back out if she's going to be working with her. Thanks!!


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