# I don't want other people working with my horse. What do I do?



## Cowgirls Boots (Apr 6, 2011)

Did she even ask you? I'd be pretty mad at anyone who helps themselves to my horse and doesnt even ask.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

What am I missing? It's your horse, period. If you don't want anyone working with your horse, tell your barn manager.


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## BaileyJo (Aug 23, 2011)

Hi Abby, just wondering - How are the skills of the barn manager? If good, I would be thrilled that someone who is a good horseman wants to work with my horse that has some quirks. Especially for free. Also, any good barn manager should be able to evaluate the skills of the rider. Our barn manager continually watches everyone's riding and knows each boarder's skill level. Is she expecting him to ride? 

All this being said, if the horse is yours, not sure how this can happen. Is the horse yours?

Just out of curiousity, what is the horse doing that the barn manager feels is dangerous to others?


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

What do you do?

Your horse is your personal property. Tell the barn owner that no one is allowed to ride your horse except you. Period.

I would also start looking for a different place to board immediately and get my horse out of the there the moment I found some place else.

Any barn owner that cannot respect a horse owner's instructions cannot be trusted.

Having said all that, answer these questions because they are extremely important.

Are you a minor (less than 18 years of age)?

Who is the horse's legal owner? You? Your parents?

If you are a minor, even if the horse is "yours", you are not legally liable for any injuries incurred by someone riding it. Your parents are. Do they know about this?

An adult needs to slap this barn owner upside the head and lay down the law about who decides what happens to the horse.


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## AbbyLee (Feb 1, 2012)

The horse kicks when other horses are behind her and the barn manager is afraid she will injure someone. And if SHE was working with my horse, I would have no problem. But it ****es me off that she's letting someone totally new to horses try his hand at her. And yes she is my horse.


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

She is your horse, then lay the law down and enforce it.

I'm confused as to why that is even in question.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

It's clear that you don't want this to happen so just tell the barn manager that.


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## BaileyJo (Aug 23, 2011)

Well an inexperienced person with my horse would be a no go for me too. But I thought you had said it was both of them. 

I still am unclear as to all of this happened. I can't imagine a barn manager sending an inexperienced horse person to work with a horse that kicks. Doesn't make sense. When you say she decided, did she just inform you? Why didn't you say you were not interested? And say, "We're working on it?"


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

You need to be up front with this lady and let her know how you feel. Don't let her back you down. If she doesn't wish to listen, then suggest she give you free board for the use of your horse. Fair is fair. I don't imagine she'll go for that. If that fails then you have to tell her flat out that she's not to use the horse, nor is anyone else. Your horse is kicking at other horses because she feels they are in her space which she doesn't like. If she has to face the horse then it's usually not a problem. Her kicking at another horse doesn't mean she will kick at a person because she doesn't see the person as a threat.


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## AbbyLee (Feb 1, 2012)

The reason she is stepping in is because she thinks I am incompetent in fixing the problem.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

Abby, I gather she is in a standing stall. Purchase a chain and a couple of hooks and string it across just above her hocks. One kick and she'll know it's there or may not even kick out once it's there. It should be hung up when there will be no more horse traffic behind her for the night.


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

Then take your horse away somewhere else.

Money talks.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Get your horse out of there.. and then you can have peace and quiet as you try to help her through her troubles.


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## OuttatheBlue (Dec 8, 2011)

I had an incident like yours (not exact but similar), in the end the only solution was to leave for another barn. When people don't have a respect for your ownership and your input, your problem will only get worse.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

AbbyLee said:


> The reason she is stepping in is because she thinks I am incompetent in fixing the problem.


So what? If it's your horse you have every right to tell what you like and dislike. If you are concerned about particular person and very much against it, just bring it up to the BO. Also who will pay liability if the unskilled kid will be injured? That's something to ask BO as well.


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## BaileyJo (Aug 23, 2011)

Have you told her directly that you do not want her or the volunteer working with your horse? Has that been made clear to her? I don't mean to be a hard one, but I'm still unclear on your conversation. Maybe I'm just slow on this....

If no, then I would tell her before you go through the trouble of moving. Maybe she doesn't quite know what you are not wanting her/them to do. 

If you have made it clear, and she is still pushing, then yes move. That would be kind of a whacky barn manager. I still can't believe that she would have an inexperienced person work with a horse that kicks, even if it is just other horses. That alone would make me go hmmmm.....


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

You tell her to leave your horse alone. Period


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## Jumper12 (Feb 2, 2012)

I honestly did not read through all these comments so i dont know what others have said, but here is my advise! I had a similar situation where another boarder at the barn for some reason led my horse in one day and the horse got spooked and the boarder got scared and beat her. Then she yelled at my to get my horse trained blahblahblah. I told the barn owner/manager that no one was to handle my horse besides people working at the barn to take her in/out and care for her (NOT train her). If they thought my horse needed more training on the ground because she was getting hard to handle to tell me and that I would work with her. It wasn't their job to train her and I didnt trust others to handle her after she got beat. Hope this is of some sort of insight to you! Good luck at your barn!


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## Jessabel (Mar 19, 2009)

Your barn manager completely overstepped her boundaries. _No one_ has any business helping themselves to your horse for any reason. End of story. You should make that darn clear to your BM.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Has the BM talked to you previously and told you your horse was an "issue" and allowed you time to "fix" it? I am just curious sine just the other day on here we had someone post who was on the other side of the story, of sorts...there is a horse at her barn who is a danger to the other owners and their horses. THe advise here on the forum was to get the BM to tell the notify the owner and fix the dangerous horse, or give the owner the ultimatum. THis sounds rather similar to me.

My other question would be-if you are a minor, are you comfortable telling the adult (BO) hands off your horse? If not, you may want to have your parents back you up. Like has been said-money talks. I have also seen instances where BO/BM's take some liberties of sorts with the horses of teens that they would not think of doing with an adults horse. Just an observation- THe "kids" tend to let it slide whereas the adult horse owners are not so apt to do that.

Is this guy actually riding your horse? Or doing ground work with it? I am a little confused.


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## Jessabel (Mar 19, 2009)

AbbyLee said:


> The reason she is stepping in is because she thinks I am incompetent in fixing the problem.


Doesn't matter. If she did not okay it with you first, she has no right touching your horse. That was a pretty ballsy thing to do.

It makes me wonder what else she's doing without your permission.


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## BaileyJo (Aug 23, 2011)

franknbeans said:


> Has the BM talked to you previously and told you your horse was an "issue" and allowed you time to "fix" it? I am just curious sine just the other day on here we had someone post who was on the other side of the story, of sorts...there is a horse at her barn who is a danger to the other owners and their horses. THe advise here on the forum was to get the BM to tell the notify the owner and fix the dangerous horse, or give the owner the ultimatum. THis sounds rather similar to me.
> 
> My other question would be-if you are a minor, are you comfortable telling the adult (BO) hands off your horse? If not, you may want to have your parents back you up. Like has been said-money talks. I have also seen instances where BO/BM's take some liberties of sorts with the horses of teens that they would not think of doing with an adults horse. Just an observation- THe "kids" tend to let it slide whereas the adult horse owners are not so apt to do that.
> 
> Is this guy actually riding your horse? Or doing ground work with it? I am a little confused.


I totally agree. I don't get it either. 

On the flip side, if I had a dangerous horse at my barn that kicks my horse when we walk by, I would want the horse fixed, as another paying boarder. And if you are not getting results, maybe it is best to have her work with it. Otherwise can she ask you to leave? 

But I still cannot see the barn manager having this inexperienced horse person working with it. Doesn't add up.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

natisha said:


> You tell her to leave your horse alone. Period


Yep or you will leave.


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## Randella (Dec 13, 2011)

The horse is yours. 

Therefore - the barn manager should be aware of the mare's quirks. Even if she's handling her on a daily basis (moving her from field to field, bringing her in and out, etc.)

She is NOT legally allowed to decide what to do with YOUR horse. 

If she refuses to comply with your requests, I'd be reporting her, and moving barns promptly.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Randella said:


> The horse is yours.
> 
> Therefore - the barn manager should be aware of the mare's quirks. Even if she's handling her on a daily basis (moving her from field to field, bringing her in and out, etc.)
> 
> ...


Actually, that depends. IF this mare is an issue and is endangering other horses or owners, it is very much the BO's business. After all, it is her liability if something happens. SHe has every right to tell the horse owner to fix it or leave. My guess is she may have told this owner to fix it, and that has not happened.
I am not thinking we are getting the whole story...something is just not right.:?


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## Born2Ride (Apr 13, 2011)

I had a similar problem years ago, we boarded a yearling at a new boarding stable. The bo's teen daughter kept trying to play trainer and work with him after we told them not to. Basically in the end if they feel there right and your wrong there not going to listen. If the bm wont back off its time to move. Once we moved out we were alot more relaxed and stress free knowing nobody was going to mess up our horse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LostDragonflyWings (Feb 1, 2012)

I would be beyond ****ed off if anybody took out my horse and did anything with him without MY permission, let alone that somebody else giving yet another individual the "okay" to work with my horse. I would definately be all over their case immediately and demand they leave him alone immediately. Work with the horse yourself (as planned) or hire a real trainer to help. How frustrating!


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## Annnie31 (May 26, 2011)

Tell the Barn Owner thanks for the offer but you dont want an inexperienced person working with your horse because if he is hurt you wont be responsible. Tell the barn owner you dont have insurance for others to ride or handle your horse and you would prefer it not happen.
If your horse is kicking at others tell the barn owner you would be happy for any suggestions from her/him and any help so long as you are present when the help takes place.
Leave a note posted on your horses stall that no one is allowed to ride or work with him that says something like...
Other than daily turnout or stall cleaning as per our board agreement
Please do not ride, exercise, train on my horse for any reason!! and sign your name.
If they ignore find a new barn. If a barn owner does not respect your wishes you certainly dont want to be there.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

franknbeans said:


> I am not thinking we are getting the whole story...something is just not right.:?


That's my feeling too, frank. Even in the worst barns around here the BO is very careful about letting some stranger to handle someone's horse let alone work with it. First, there is always a liability issue, second, indeed the person may take a business away. 

As for the dangerous horses I've been in this situation with my mares, and I think it's very valid to bring up the concerns to the owner of the dangerous horse. When I asked the BO to do something about the situation (when we had very aggressive new horse, and eventually my younger mare (2 yo at the moment) got all beat up to the point of being lame for a week) and BO refused I just moved my horses (never regretted it  ).


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## BaileyJo (Aug 23, 2011)

franknbeans said:


> Actually, that depends. IF this mare is an issue and is endangering other horses or owners, it is very much the BO's business. After all, it is her liability if something happens. SHe has every right to tell the horse owner to fix it or leave. My guess is she may have told this owner to fix it, and that has not happened.
> I am not thinking we are getting the whole story...something is just not right.:?


I'm surprised that people would think that a kicking horse in a barn would not be the barn owner's business. ?? I would be leaving that barn and taking MY money elsewhere if he/she were totally oblivious to this horse's problems and claimed it was "none of their business."

The whole story, I believe, is yet to be told.


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## ElaineLighten (Jan 1, 2012)

I don't get it, she's your horse, so you have the say, right?
Tell the BO you don't want anyone working with your horse but you. If she doesn't respect that, it's time to move girl!


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

franknbeans said:


> IF this mare is an issue and is endangering other horses or owners, it is very much the BO's business.


Yep, she has a business to run and an obligation to her other boarders to keep their horses safe. 

If the OP's mare is causing problems and the owner can't or won't step in to fix them, then the BO working with the mare may be the only solution, other than throwing her out of the barn.



franknbeans said:


> I am not thinking we are getting the whole story...something is just not right.:?


I'm with you, Frank. My gut is telling me there's much more to this story than just a BO overstepping her boundaries.


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

The BO certainly has a responsibility to maintain a reasonably safe environment.

Having said that, there is the right way and the wrong way to go about it in this situation.

The right way is to discuss the matter with the horse's owner and do these things:

1) Convey to the horse owner the behavior that is considered dangerous or unsafe.

2) Come up with a mutually agreed plan to correct the behavior.

OR

3) Evict the horse from the barn if
A) The horse's behavior cannot be modified or
B) The BO and the HO cannot agree on a course of action.

The wrong way to do it is to unilaterally tell the horse's owner that someone from the barn will train the behavior out of the horse whether the owner agrees to it or not. This is the situation that I understand is happening from the statements made by the OP.

So put me in the camp of wanting to know which of those two scenarios is what really happened.


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

franknbeans said:


> Actually, that depends. IF this mare is an issue and is endangering other horses or owners, it is very much the BO's business. After all, it is her liability if something happens. SHe has every right to tell the horse owner to fix it or leave. My guess is she may have told this owner to fix it, and that has not happened.
> *I am not thinking we are getting the whole story*...something is just not right.:?


Absolutely.

Our policy is if the horse is a danger to humans, other animals or property, there is no requirement of a 30 day notice - the horse booted off the property.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

mls said:


> Our policy is if the horse is a danger to humans, other animals or property, there is no requirement of a 30 day notice - the horse booted off the property.


Going OT, but what do you consider to be a "danger"? Just curious since you are a BO with long-term experience.


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## Annnie31 (May 26, 2011)

I dont think any of us can assume there is more to the story. I know of a few barns where the BO wouldnt think twice about riding or working with a boarders horse, even using them for lessons, and although it is wrong there are some out there. On the other hand there are alot more honest and wonderful people out there trying to run a legit business and supply a safe and secure environment for all concerned. If the horse is a kicker perhaps it should be put in a box stall.
If there isnt one available maybe the BO didnt know the horse was a kicker until it was already in the barn. 
Im sure the BO will make a decision in any case to either evict or work with the horse....no way to know for sure based on what we know..it would be making assumptions on our part. 
Perhaps the original poster will come back on here and fill us in on the whole story at some point.
I still think if the BO thinks the horse is a danger the first thing is to ask what the owner is going to do about it, and if nothing is the answer, send them packing. I do not think the BO should work with the horse against the owners wishes in any situation...


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## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

Another vote for not getting the whole story.

It's one thing if your horse is a danger to others in the facility. The BO is responsible for creating a safe environment in the barn. It's a completely different thing to have someone decide to work with your horse for no other reason that to work with him. What exactly is your horse's vice, and have you tried to work with him to make him less of a danger?


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Sorry, but there has to be more to the story. Is the OP boarding under an agreement that the BO uses te horse in a lesson program? That might explain why she seems to have no say in how the BO uses her horse. It would be nice if the OP would explain things more clearly. It's hard to make sense of things as they are now.


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

OP-"The horse kicks when other horses are behind her and the barn manager is afraid she will injure someone."

This is all she said about the kicking. It really doesn't say where or what the mare is doing at the time, being ridden, tied or on her own time.


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## mselizabeth (Oct 29, 2011)

tinyliny said:


> Sorry, but there has to be more to the story. Is the OP boarding under an agreement that the BO uses te horse in a lesson program? That might explain why she seems to have no say in how the BO uses her horse. It would be nice if the OP would explain things more clearly. It's hard to make sense of things as they are now.


I couldn't agree more. Did you sign a contract? Are you allowing her to use your horse for a reduced board? 

There is obviously something else going into this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BaileyJo (Aug 23, 2011)

Where's Paul Harvey when you need him? We need to know "the rest of the story."

Sorry, only the old timers will probably get that. Bad joke day, I guess. :wink:


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I get it. I am that old!


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

kitten_Val said:


> Going OT, but what do you consider to be a "danger"? Just curious since you are a BO with long-term experience.


Repeated aggressive behavior that causes damage to human, livestock or property.

We did have one horse in the tie stalls that kicked at anyone (horse or human that walked by). After eye issues were ruled out, owner or I stood there with a buggy whip. Only took a couple of times and he quit trying. He pinned his ears and swished his tail but quit kicking.


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## AbbyLee (Feb 1, 2012)

Hey guys I'm back and it looks like you guys have had quite the discussion while I was at school lol. Thanks for all the replies.

There is much more to the story, but I didn't think it was relevent, but here it is:

My horse has some problems that the BM brought up about a week ago to me and I've been working on it with the barn owner showing me how to take care of it. So yes the problem is being addressed. But unfortunatly the BM (we'll call her "T") doesn't like me at all, and I have yet to figure out why. She has a very difficult personality and doesn't really like anyone except the volunteer (we'll call him "D"). D is very cocky and thinks he can play trainer with any horse he wants and T lets him because they are so buddy-buddy. I try to just avoid all of this silly drama but I can't now that it involves my horse.

Also, I do not have any agreement, which is why I don't want anyone handling my horse when I'm not there.


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## rosie1 (Feb 28, 2011)

Yikes that's a bad situation to be in. Its ridiculous that your bm thinks its ok to have someone with no experience working with a horse with problems. I would talk to "T" again and explain to her that under NO circumstances is "D" allowed to touch your horse and if he does there will be hell to pay. Are you comfortable having T help you with your horse? If not tell her so and perhaps attempt to reach an agreement on how to handle this situation. Its only been a week, different horses learn at different rates and yours probably just needs more consistent handly from QUALIFIED people. Have you seen any improvement in this time? If you do not want help from T and she is unwilling to compromise on you having assistance with the horse then move barns or get a trainer to help you. I still would probably just move barns. If anyone touched my horses without my permission they would lose a body part. I wouldn't trust this person farther than I could throw them. From the way you describe her I would not put be surprised if she decided her authority overrules yours as the horses owner. So in conclusion lol attempt a compromise of more time needed, a trainer, or get the hell out of there! Honestly no one should ever train my horse unless I say so or I would be gone
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BaileyJo (Aug 23, 2011)

AbbyLee said:


> Hey guys I'm back and it looks like you guys have had quite the discussion while I was at school lol. Thanks for all the replies.
> 
> There is much more to the story, but I didn't think it was relevent, but here it is:
> 
> ...


Still, have you asked her to leave your horse alone? Are you intimidated by her? I know if I were young and I thought someone didn't like me I might be a little afraid to stand up for myself. 

You have to tell her flat out that either you don't want her working with your horse or only when you are there. And you absolutely don't want D working with it.


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

AbbyLee said:


> Hey guys I'm back and it looks like you guys have had quite the discussion while I was at school lol. Thanks for all the replies.
> 
> There is much more to the story, but I didn't think it was relevent, but here it is:
> 
> ...


School? Are you a minor?

Who has the authority - the BO or BM?

No boarding contract? HUGE red flag.


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## mystykat (Dec 4, 2011)

When is your mare kicking out at the other horses? Forgive me if this has been addressed..I may have missed it.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Time to get a written boarding contract in place, and spell out just who is and isn't allowed to work with your horse.

If the BO refuses to address it with the BM, then she's not doing her duty as owner of the facility.


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## AbbyLee (Feb 1, 2012)

> School? Are you a minor?
> 
> Who has the authority - the BO or BM?
> 
> No boarding contract? HUGE red flag.


I am a minor.

I have a boarding contract but no agreement for her to use my horse as asked by tinyliny.



> When is your mare kicking out at the other horses? Forgive me if this has been addressed..I may have missed it.


When the horses are brought in they go through an arena area before they are put in the stalls. She kicks at horses who are behind her. She is not in a technical "stall" anymore. She is kept in the arena in an inclosure made of panels.


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## BaileyJo (Aug 23, 2011)

The lady will continue to work with your horse until you tell her not to. I have a feeling you have not told her hands off your horse. Just my gut feeling.

If she continues to work with your horse after that - move.


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## mystykat (Dec 4, 2011)

I agree with BaileyJo, let her know that you do not wish to have your horse worked with by anyone but you. In a perfect world this will be the end of it. If not or if you feel like they will continue to do so behind your back, move to a new barn.

The best place would be individual or semi private turn-out and a contract stating no one is to even fetch a horse that is not theirs. Some horses are kickers and in the right facility this should not have to be a problem while you work on fixing it.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

AbbyLee said:


> I am a minor.


Abby, could you ask your parent to step in and talk to BO? I think that would be a good time. As someone on thread already mentioned kids/teenagers can be treated differently. If she doesn't respect your opinion, she surely should respect one from your parents. I'm sorry you are in such unpleasant situation.


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

Where is your father in all of this?

If this were happening to my daughter I'd come down on the BM like a ton of friggin bricks.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

I do think the BM may be taking advantage of you being a minor. Please make sure your parents are aware of the situation and that you would appreciate their help. After all, I am guessing it is their check that goes to this place monthly.

In the meantime, continue to work with your mare. Why is she in a pen in the arena as opposed to a stall?

If in the end you do not feel that you can trust they will do right by you, you may have to move.


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## trainerunlimited (Jan 26, 2012)

I didn't read all the replies, but barn people have no authority over your horse. They just lease you a place to keep them and hold no power over whether they can mess with your horse or not. 

If your mare is kicking at other horses through the panels, you need to look at moving her or putting a chain on her back leg for a couple weeks so she learns not to kick herself. 

I don't see how she could hurt other horses unless they were in with her, she will more than likely hurt herself if she gets caught up in the panels. 

I would absolutely flip out if someone without my permission was messing with my horse and had no experience. That would be a big no-no for me and would ilicit a very rare temper flare. 

I would have a conversation with your parents about how you feel, then have them go speak with the people at this barn.

If they can't resist leaving your horse alone, time to look at other places you can go, IMO.


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## AbbyLee (Feb 1, 2012)

Thank you to all who replied! This has been helpful and I am less stressed about it now.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

trainerunlimited said:


> I didn't read all the replies You might want to, since you might find some information that contradicts what you say....., but barn people have no authority over your horse. They just lease you a place to keep them and hold no power over whether they can mess with your horse or not. So, let me get this straight. You think that "barn people" should put up with dangerous horses because they "have no authority"?:shock: Just so I make SURE I understand how you feel.
> 
> If your mare is kicking at other horses through the panels, you need to look at moving her or putting a chain on her back leg for a couple weeks so she learns not to kick herself. Might not be the best idea seeing as how she is in PANELS, not a real stall.
> 
> ...


JMHO. You might want to go back and read ALL the replies.:wink:


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## snookums (Mar 19, 2011)

Ah, I disagree that kicking the horse behind him/her is a problem. If another horse is going to run up into my horses butt gettin in his business, he will get what's coming to him.  If anyone so much as touched my horse, trained or untrained, without my explicit consent, I would be coming after them with pitchforks, hoof pics, and anything else sharp. Props to you for being calm and cool about this, and seeking advice, If it were me, these people would bleeding and I would be in a straight jacket.


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## Tapperjockey (Jan 2, 2012)

snookums said:


> Ah, I disagree that kicking the horse behind him/her is a problem. If another horse is going to run up into my horses butt gettin in his business, he will get what's coming to him.  If anyone so much as touched my horse, trained or untrained, without my explicit consent, I would be coming after them with pitchforks, hoof pics, and anything else sharp. Props to you for being calm and cool about this, and seeking advice, If it were me, these people would bleeding and I would be in a straight jacket.


Pretty much my opinion. 

There are a lot of red flags with this place OP. I suggest finding a better boarding barn. There are barns out there that are run by sane, reliable people, not nut jobs. You are not in one of them at this time.


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