# Apparently there's been some controversy over a picture I shared...



## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

Tell me if I'm wrong here...so yesterday I got a message from one of my mom's friends on Facebook (who I am also friends with) about a gay rights picture I shared (it was a quote from a celebrity to be exact.) She said that I am "such a sweet and honorable young woman" and that "people can twist and turn things until they make up things about your original intent of your post." Also, "Future employers even look at your FB and judge your character sometimes."

This surprised me a little bit. I really didn't think it was any of her business, or anything for her to be concerned about. My mom told me today that she had a couple people mention it where she works (at a school, where I am friends with some of my old teachers.) She said they were 'concerned' and that it was uncharacteristic of me to post something like that. 

I don't post on Facebook that often, but nothing is ever hateful towards anyone. I respect other's opinions. However, I am not afraid to express my opinions (and neither is anyone else on FB.) I found this a little maddening because 1) it doesn't concern them 2) it shouldn't bother them because it's my opinion 3) they felt the need to tell my mom about it (and showed her my FB profile while they were at school) 4) they didn't want others to 'get the wrong idea.' Let me just say that no, I am not gay; however, I do support gay rights. They seem to think that people will assume I am gay by sharing that picture. Well would it really matter if I was? What would be wrong with that? How is one innocent opinion a judge of my character?

I've tried to be very mature and understand their side, even though I do not agree with their actions. What do you make of this?


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

Welcome to the reason I hardly ever post ANYTHING on Facebook that isn't a cute cat video or something funny about my day that cannot be interpreted any way but what was originally intended. Oh, and if I need help finding an item or a recipe or something.

I'm friends with too many of my parents' friends who take it upon themselves to report my every move on Facebook to my parents. However well-intentioned they are, it usually ends up leading to unwanted and unwarranted drama.

I would just ignore the comments. Tell your mom that you appreciate her concern, but it's not really their business or their place to say anything. Then move on.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gingerscout (Jan 18, 2012)

people on FB take things way to seriously, and can't keep their opinions to themselves, I'm another one who rarely posts on FB, unless its a music video, or funny joke I saw or anything like that, and if any of your friends have it set up to see your stuff any of their friends can comment on it, so strangers can even comment/ like stuff.. I have had it done and it freaks me out sometimes


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## aubie (Aug 24, 2013)

I don't post anything either. I may check it one or twice a month. Shame what people have turned it into.


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## clumsychelsea (Jul 9, 2014)

I think that their opinions on the matter say a lot about them. I fail to see how posting a picture supporting the rights of a group of people should warrant comments like that, and you can bet that if an employer didn't want to hire me if they saw it, I wouldn't want to work for them anyway. Nothin' wrong with being LGBT, and certainly nothing wrong with supporting people who are.

Unfortunately, they probably think they're looking out for you although it's not really their business to start with.


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## amberly (Dec 16, 2012)

People take things to "the next of the next level."
if they don't like what your post - that is their problem.

Now if its a post about how your life sucks because you dind't get the newest iphone in the right color or every other word is a foul word, then that is your problem.

but as for the gay rights posting - go all for it. If they don't like it, that is their problem. I am not gay/lesbian or whatever and I won't ever be because I believe it is a sin - as it says in the bible.

Does that mean I cna't support it? no.
In fact - I support it completely. If you are happy, I am happy, it doens't matter who you are.

make sense?


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

clumsychelsea said:


> I think that their opinions on the matter say a lot about them. *I fail to see how posting a picture supporting the rights of a group of people should warrant comments like that, and you can bet that if an employer didn't want to hire me if they saw it, I wouldn't want to work for them anyway.* Nothin' wrong with being LGBT, and certainly nothing wrong with supporting people who are.
> 
> Unfortunately, they probably think they're looking out for you although it's not really their business to start with.


Thank you


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

I guess it just really bothered me that they were 'concerned about me' and like clumsychelsea said 'looking out for me.' WHY?


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

aubie said:


> I don't post anything either. I may check it one or twice a month. Shame what people have turned it into.


I'm about to that point


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## amberly (Dec 16, 2012)

because people are humans. They go with the flow, they may be proud of you but they don't want to show it - because they are afraid of how they will be judged if they walk against the flow.

That's only one reason - but it's a common reason for a lot of things.
Like the people in school who tihnk that a certain group are idiots or mean, and then they go home and wish that they could be in a group like that. They like what they see, but they are afraid to show it for then they will be judged. But we all are always being judged daily.

I wouldn't worry about it too much.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

And then my mom told me to 'just be mindful of what you post.' Trust me, before I share/post anything, I make sure I'm comfortable with it being seen.


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## gingerscout (Jan 18, 2012)

howrsegirl123 said:


> And then my mom told me to 'just be mindful of what you post.' Trust me, before I share/post anything, I make sure I'm comfortable with it being seen.


I have family members who I deleted as friends aunts/ uncles.. heck even my wifes parents.. because they couldn't keep their "opinions" to themselves.. just because I married your daughter, does NOT mean I have to tolerate being badmouthed/ listening to your complaints on FB.. if your life is so terrible.. I don;t want to hear about it:lol:


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

Yup, no more FB for me either. It's just an electronic version of highschool cliques.


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## kimberlyrae1993 (Mar 20, 2013)

I am 21 years only and deleted my facebook when I was 19 I have better things to worry about then drama on there it was crazy how much stuff started from nothing..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## squirrelfood (Mar 29, 2014)

No intelligent person would assume your were gay just because you support gay rights. Not everyone is intelligent, however. And no intelligent person would be offended, even mildly by that.


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## LadyDreamer (Jan 25, 2008)

One of my favorite FB photos that gets shared I cannot post for language but goes long the lines of "I do this really cool trick where I post whatever I want because this is my account and not yours."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DreaMy (Jul 1, 2014)

Came here to post the exact same thing as clumsychelsea


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## flytobecat (Mar 28, 2010)

My friends and family are all on my Facebook, so I try to be respectful when I post things, because most likely my grandma is going to see it. 
But I would say that the person who made a comment to your mom about your post has the problem not you. There is nothing wrong with standing up for something you believe in. After all you can't live your life being afraid of what everyone thinks of you and trying to please them all the time.


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## Mythilus (Aug 16, 2010)

Some people like to, for want of a better word, cause trouble. I have people like this, sadly, on my FB. I posted a cute video of me teaching my horse to drive, and instead of commenting on the progress of the horse, someone commented (expletives removed) "Wow! I shoot your #$%#$% dog in its noisy barking face!" Note that yes, my younger pup does bark a lot at the horses, but I was deliberately letting her so the horse got used to concentrating with noise about.

Just ignore these kinds of people, its all you can do


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## bkylem (Sep 21, 2013)

howrsegirl123 said:


> And then my mom told me to 'just be mindful of what you post.' Trust me, before I share/post anything, I make sure I'm comfortable with it being seen.[/QUOTE
> 
> I think that is really the point or perhaps the lesson learned.
> You can post, say or write anything you choose, but you have to then be responsible for it and you have no control over how it will be interpreted by someone else.


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## 4horses (Nov 26, 2012)

It seems like people have too much time on their hands! It is estimated that only 2-5 percent of the population is gay.... yet the U.S. has the highest incarceration rate of any country in the world! It always amazes me when people focus on tiny issues that don't really affect them while ignoring bigger issues in society.

The people who are against abortion always amaze me as well. It is so easy to preach about stopping abortion but most people are not willing to put in any effort into saving lives.. If people really wanted to stop abortion why not adopt children instead of having your own? The number of children that starve to death every year in other countries is astronomical. Why not give out free birth control in other countries that are experiencing famine? What is worse? Abortion or having a child starve to death in Africa? 

I would check your privacy settings on Facebook or be more selective on who you add as friends. I try to limit Facebook to close friends and family. If someone wants to stir up trouble I remove them. I made a second account for gaming and I add any casual friends to that.


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

I enjoy my FB account. But I "cull pretty deep." Getting rid of anyone who posts obscenity or drama. Still, I like sharing photos and stories with people I know from around the country and beyond.

But, I know for a fact that prospective employers look at FB. I do. I have not hired people based on things people post. Drama, the formerly popular duck lip club photos girls used to post, work gossip. Etc.

But, even I don't mind most political or social issue reports.


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

It would matter if you are 14 or 17 that may be of concern to others of what you are posting.


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## Sharpie (May 24, 2009)

I once had someone comment something like that. As if they were concerned that I might be gay (and what's wrong with that if I was?!) or they think it might 'harm' me if someone (future employer, etc) found out I supported equality. 

My response was a big fat "so what." If an employer thinks orientation is more important than people, to the extent where that meant I wouldn't be hired, then I would probably wind up FIRED from that place in short order anyway. And so what if someone might think I was gay! The only people that my orientation should matter to are people I want to hook up with anyway, and if someone wanted to make such gargantuan assumptions from a facebook post, then that's on them.


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## Red Gate Farm (Aug 28, 2011)

What was the picture?


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## GreyRay (Jun 15, 2010)

I have unfriended or blocked a lot of people from my facebook for the sake of avoiding drama, one of my sisters included. I go on facebook for 3 reasons, grumpy cat, horses, and my business page. If people block you on facebook, just think of it as them doing you a favor, saves you the time of having to do it yourself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

It was a gay rights quote


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

Thank you Sharpie! Exactly how I feel.


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## Remali (Jul 22, 2008)

The way I look at it is.... on my page it is my Facebook page and not theirs, and I post what I like. If someone doesn't like what I may post, they have the option of the "unfollow" button so my posts no longer show up on their newsfeed. I will never let anyone's opinion keep me from posting on my page. I never post anything offensive. I think I would tell those people to mind their own business, and next time they have an issue with your Facebook page to take it up with you, and not your mother. Just my two cents. But then I am 58 and pretty set in my ways....lol.

As for employers trying to look at anyone's FB.... I have my account settings very private and unless you are a friend you cannot see it, and no employer should have access to anyone's FB account, ever.

I use FB for photos mainly, and staying in touch with friends who live out of state.


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

You are 100% in the right. There is nothing wrong or concerning with what you posted. I guess the people your moms works with have to much time on their hands and are very narrow minded. 

The other day I posted a map of the U.S.. All the states that allow gay marriage where in rainbow. If you don't like it keep scrolling. It's nothing that I wouldn't show my mother, my employer or my grandmother. A few year ago I overhauled my FB page and took off anything that could easily be interpreted wrongly. Any photo of my with a cup, at a bar or messing around in a park after dark. None of them were bad, but it could easily paint a portrait of someone that I am not. There are certain things I will not bend on though, like me being a lesbian and supporting gay rights.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

There's more, I forgot about this...I also had shared a link recently, something like 15 things unemotional women will understand. In the opening paragraph it had the f word. And they were freaking out over that too. "That's not how you would talk..."

Wow, I actually laughed at that one


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

SlideStop said:


> You are 100% in the right. There is nothing wrong or concerning with what you posted. I guess the people your moms works with have to much time on their hands* and are very narrow minded. *
> 
> The other day I posted a map of the U.S.. All the states that allow gay marriage where in rainbow. If you don't like it keep scrolling. It's nothing that I wouldn't show my mother, my employer or my grandmother. A few year ago I overhauled my FB page and took off anything that could easily be interpreted wrongly. Any photo of my with a cup, at a bar or messing around in a park after dark. None of them were bad, but it could easily paint a portrait of someone that I am not. There are certain things I will not bend on though, like me being a lesbian and supporting gay rights.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This came to my mind when thinking about this whole situation. And the funny thing is, none of them accept gay rights/marriage what have you. Part of why they were "offended" or "worried."


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

I'm fairly lucky that my Facebook adventures mostly remain drama-free, but I am also careful to manage those elements that could potentially cause it. 

You now know who cannot handle other people having different opinions and is nosy to boot, so I would suggest creating a custom filter so that certain people cannot see certain posts. I do this with my ex-husband and people who know him that I am still friends with, mainly because I don't want to hurt his feelings if I want to post something divorce-related, boyfriend-related, or otherwise. We are still friends, so I try to be sensitive to his feelings- if I didn't care, I wouldn't have him on there in the first place. 

Sometimes de-friending people can cause more issues than it's worth, so I just lock them down so they can't see anything of mine, and I can't see anything of theirs. Works like a charm!


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

SlideStop said:


> You are 100% in the right. There is nothing wrong or concerning with what you posted. I guess the people your moms works with have to much time on their hands and are very narrow minded.
> 
> The other day I posted a map of the U.S.. All the states that allow gay marriage where in rainbow. If you don't like it keep scrolling. It's nothing that I wouldn't show my mother, my employer or my grandmother. A few year ago I overhauled my FB page and took off anything that could easily be interpreted wrongly. Any photo of my with a cup, at a bar or messing around in a park after dark. *None of them were bad, but it could easily paint a portrait of someone that I am not. There are certain things I will not bend on though, like me being a lesbian and supporting gay rights.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


True, and I have nothing bad on my FB. It's either horse stuff, funny stuff, or opinions. And I'm sorry, I will not stop sharing things because it might cause others to be concerned about me when they have ABSOLUTELY no reason to be.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

I do have a question-

Should I respond to the private message I received?

And also, I can't get my mom to tell me who did the talking at school, though I have an idea or two. She said three people came up to her. I would like to know, just so I can, like many of you said, possibly limit what posts they see of mine, because I don't want any more drama.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

Oops never mind


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

howrsegirl123 said:


> I do have a question-
> 
> Should I respond to the private message I received?


I would answer "I appreciate your concern for my wellbeing, but we will have to agree to disagree on this matter. I can promise that you will no longer see these types of posts from me." (Which will be true since she should be on your filter ;-) )

If someone is concerned you are gay just because you support equality, then they are being silly. Even if you were, your sexuality is only between you and the person you choose to share it with, and has no bearing on how anyone else lives their life.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Perhaps you mentioned this, and I missed it while skimming through-so forgive me if you have covered this, but how did your mom react at the time? I am a mom, I am on FB, and I am one of the few I know who is "friends" with my kids, their friends, etc. many moms are not welcome to the "group" because of this type of silliness. Your mom should have nipped this one in the bud right when her "friend" said something to her. I know I would have. What my kids do, unless it is dangerous/lifethreatening/illegal-is their business. has been for years. I personally would "unfriend" this person. They are clearly NOT your "friend" in any way, shape or form.


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

howrsegirl123 said:


> True, and I have nothing bad on my FB. It's either horse stuff, funny stuff, or opinions. And I'm sorry, I will not stop sharing things because it might cause others to be concerned about me when they have ABSOLUTELY no reason to be.


I think you read my post wrong. Posting things about what you believe in, whether its gay marriage or guns or what have you, shouldn't be any cause for concern. People can think whatever they want when they see photos of me my girlfriend. If it's going to impact someone hiring me then I don't want to be hired by that person. Posting stuff like that shouldn't be alarming in the least. 

What you should about is things that make you look... Irresponsible. For example I'm a VERY responsible person, but I did go through a phase where I really liked to party, which I did 100% legally. No underage drinking, No drugs, my duties never feel short etc. Now let's just say my future employer got a hold of my facebook full of photos of my dancing like an animal, drinking, in bars/clubs, playing beer pong, etc. If they don't know anything about me they are going to think I'm an irresponsible low life. First impressions, whether it's face to face or not, last.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

franknbeans said:


> Perhaps you mentioned this, and I missed it while skimming through-so forgive me if you have covered this, but how did your mom react at the time? I am a mom, I am on FB, and I am one of the few I know who is "friends" with my kids, their friends, etc. many moms are not welcome to the "group" because of this type of silliness. Your mom should have nipped this one in the bud right when her "friend" said something to her. I know I would have. What my kids do, unless it is dangerous/lifethreatening/illegal-is their business. has been for years. I personally would "unfriend" this person. They are clearly NOT your "friend" in any way, shape or form.


Bravo!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

SlideStop, I was agreeing with you  sorry, my comment may have been a little confusing.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

franknbeans said:


> Perhaps you mentioned this, and I missed it while skimming through-so forgive me if you have covered this, but how did your mom react at the time? I am a mom, I am on FB, and I am one of the few I know who is "friends" with my kids, their friends, etc. many moms are not welcome to the "group" because of this type of silliness. Your mom should have nipped this one in the bud right when her "friend" said something to her. I know I would have. What my kids do, unless it is dangerous/lifethreatening/illegal-is their business. has been for years. I personally would "unfriend" this person. They are clearly NOT your "friend" in any way, shape or form.


My mom agreed with them for the most part. She told me that my opinions shouldn't be shared and that I should watch what I post.


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

howrsegirl123 said:


> My mom agreed with them for the most part. She told me that my opinions shouldn't be shared and that I should watch what I post.


Tell her you don't appreciate HER sharing her OPINION with you! :wink:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

I just sent her a message. I was nice and to the point. We'll see what happens.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

Other than the woman who sent me a message (who is not a past teacher/doesn't work at the school) I don't know who said anything. I have ideas, but I don't know for certain and my mom won't tell me.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

And in case any of you were wondering, I'm 20, living at home, going to college.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

You are certainly past the point of it being anyones business.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

franknbeans said:


> You are certainly past the point of it being anyones business.


Thank you


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## aubie (Aug 24, 2013)

So if I got this right, people who commented work in education?


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

Aubie, yes, except the one who sent me a private message


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## aubie (Aug 24, 2013)

Its baffling to me how people can't understand the most fundamental things about this country and how and why it was founded. If you are a citizen of this country you are entitled to all rights and privileges. Your Facebook post was to that effect.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

aubie said:


> Its baffling to me how people can't understand the most fundamental things about this country and how and why it was founded. If you are a citizen of this country you are entitled to all rights and privileges. Your Facebook post was to that effect.


Thank you, this is what I am saying. But oh, if I dare say something to my mom, she's all over me. "You're my business, etc, etc" She actually AGREED with those people. I'm dying to know who said something in the first place.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

I would just like to say that I truly am grateful for everyone's support on here. I honestly thought some people would say I was wrong. But you all have let me see the truth in this situation. Thank you.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

I think FB is a great tool! Over half of the things I post I post so that only I can see them. I enjoy being able to post photos so that only a specific friend can see them, it can be a lot easier than emailing them. Sometimes I want to "keep" something as mundane as a recipe that I might try some year, but why would I "share" it? I don't call people and tell them I found this really great recipe! That is laughable! Most of my private post are horse related. It helps me review progress or whatnot. And, there is no "big social issue" I care to carry the banner for on FB (i.e., share)....absolutely none. And I personally don't like it when a "FB friend" chooses to. _What_ is the point?


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## Cordillera Cowboy (Jun 6, 2014)

howrsegirl123 said:


> Thank you, this is what I am saying. But oh, if I dare say something to my mom, she's all over me. "You're my business, etc, etc" She actually AGREED with those people. I'm dying to know who said something in the first place.


Until you clarified it, I was wondering about your age and living arrangements. You are no longer a minor. That's a point that parents sometimes are reluctant to accept. You're living at home, so your parents do get to set some rules. Controlling the verbal or written expression of your political and social views doesn't come in that package. 

You should know that espousing a cause that is unpopular with folks who are close to you is likely to cause drama. Be prepared to answer it with fact based, unemotional reasoning. Be prepared for the likelihood that they will not be persuaded by your reasoning. 

Folks who are close to you should express their concerns to you in person. If they won't, you don't owe them the time of day. It's your page. You get to control what goes on it. Block the ones you know are causing the drama. That won't stop the ones you don't know about. If it were me, I'd try to flush them out by posting more of the same stuff. Then you can block them too.

Having said that, I'm a firm believer in not isolating myself from folks with different political and social viewpoints. I like to know where people stand, and whether or not they have good arguments for their position.

Hope that helps some.


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## Sharpie (May 24, 2009)

Missy May said:


> And, there is no "big social issue" I care to carry the banner for on FB (i.e., share)....absolutely none. And I personally don't like it when a "FB friend" chooses to. _What_ is the point?


I happily carry the banners for Depression, Suicide Awareness, and other mental illness, and also for Equality on my FB page because I know and am friends with people who have suffered for all of them. Mental illness is obvious, but being gay is not easy and I know people of all of the above categories who have killed themselves because they couldn't take it. I want them to know, and everyone else who knows me to know that I AM HERE FOR THEM. That there is at least one person in their corner, and that if they want to talk to me, I am happy to listen. I have saved a life doing this, and at least significantly helped a couple other, and if I can save another or help another, I am happy to take all the crap anyone wants to give me for doing so. So that is the 'point' of posting those things on my FB for me.


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## Cielo Notturno (Sep 12, 2013)

I think I understand that the place where you live is not particularly gay-friendly. I don't remember everything I posted on facebook (I stay there a lot of time), but everyone who cares to read should know by now that I am pro gay rights, pro gay marriage & adoption of children, pro science and animal research, pro castration and spaying of pets, and that I love kitties. 

Well, kitties aside, I strongly believe in my opinions regarding the other subjects, and I will defend them on facebook and I will defend them in real life. I have gay friends. Real friends. I can't even think of hiding my opinions on homosexual people just because it might not be "well seen". 
Anyway, despite not having many gay rights in my country, the general attitude is pretty tolerant if not friendly, depending on the city. My city is particularly gay-friendly, so maybe I have a little advantage other people who live in a place where you just hear the word "gay" and people start with the unnatural/immoral stuff. Oh and I go to gay prides. Like, me with my face in my city where people see and can take pics of me. It's millions time better to be a "friend" and then not wanting to be seen anywhere near a gay-friendly area.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

She never responded back to my message. I don't know what that means, haha. Oh well, I guess it's over.


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## SummerShy (Aug 3, 2014)

Just like any other form of social media or the like, if you post something with a strong opinion there's going to be a ton of people who don't like it. No matter what it is or what side you're on.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

My bro loves to post controversy on FB and will go toe to toe on these issues. Issues that gall him are repressive religions, anti-gay, etc. basically issues whereby someone is trying to erode someone else's human rights.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Sharpie said:


> I happily carry the banners for Depression, Suicide Awareness, and other mental illness, and also for Equality on my FB page because I know and am friends with people who have suffered for all of them. Mental illness is obvious, but being gay is not easy and I know people of all of the above categories who have killed themselves because they couldn't take it. I want them to know, and everyone else who knows me to know that I AM HERE FOR THEM. That there is at least one person in their corner, and that if they want to talk to me, I am happy to listen. I have saved a life doing this, and at least significantly helped a couple other, and if I can save another or help another, I am happy to take all the crap anyone wants to give me for doing so. So that is the 'point' of posting those things on my FB for me.


Why wouldn't your friends already know how you feel, or that you would be there for them? Either way, it is a tool, which means people will utilize it in a bazillion different ways. You use it to meets your needs. Unlike the OP, if I were to decide to plaster my wall with "people" oriented political/social statements, anyone that is a FB friend of mine would also know I wasn't asking for their approval, likewise, when I see the same - no one expects me to fall all over myself to comment on their post, good or bad, on or off FB. The OP doesn't like the fact others didn't appreciate something she posted on FB. For the OP to expect everyone to agree with her personal convictions was her first mistake, believing that people _shouldn't therefor wouldn't_ discuss her convictions once she had "publicized them" was her second mistake. Not being familiar with human nature was her 3rd. Not being willing in advance to shrug off the heat in the kitchen was her 4th.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

Missy May said:


> Sharpie said:
> 
> 
> > I happily carry the banners for Depression, Suicide Awareness, and other mental illness, and also for Equality on my FB page because I know and am friends with people who have suffered for all of them. Mental illness is obvious, but being gay is not easy and I know people of all of the above categories who have killed themselves because they couldn't take it. I want them to know, and everyone else who knows me to know that I AM HERE FOR THEM. That there is at least one person in their corner, and that if they want to talk to me, I am happy to listen. I have saved a life doing this, and at least significantly helped a couple other, and if I can save another or help another, I am happy to take all the crap anyone wants to give me for doing so. So that is the 'point' of posting those things on my FB for me.
> ...


I never expected anyone to agree with the post, I could care less. It was how they made a big deal out of it and were concerned about me.


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## Sharpie (May 24, 2009)

Missy May said:


> Why wouldn't your friends already know how you feel, or that you would be there for them?


Yes, my friends do know how I feel and that I am there for them. Just like I know (for example) that my SO loves me and is there for me. Doesn't mean I don't sometimes need him to give me a hug and remind me of that fact when I'm feeling down. I see my FB posts (those that pertain to this stuff anyhow) as a way of doing that. Letting them know that even if they have never shared any of those thoughts or feeling with me before, or if they have, that I will be happy to listen and that I will support them. Just a reminder that I am here and I care. I have had friends take me up on it when they have been struggling, so I know it has helped.

As for your criticism of the OP, perhaps you should re-read her posts? Your assumptions/implications about what she did/did not think seem a bit harsh and off the mark to me. But she can stand up for herself (and has).


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Sharpie said:


> Yes, my friends do know how I feel and that I am there for them. Just like I know (for example) that my SO loves me and is there for me. Doesn't mean I don't sometimes need him to give me a hug and remind me of that fact when I'm feeling down. I see my FB posts (those that pertain to this stuff anyhow) as a way of doing that. Letting them know that even if they have never shared any of those thoughts or feeling with me before, or if they have, that I will be happy to listen and that I will support them. Just a reminder that I am here and I care. I have had friends take me up on it when they have been struggling, so I know it has helped.
> 
> As for your criticism of the OP, perhaps you should re-read her posts? Your assumptions/implications about what she did/did not think seem a bit harsh and off the mark to me. But she can stand up for herself (and has).


I did not mean to be critical of the OP, and I am sorry if she or you misinterpreted my statements as such. The OP's expectation were unrealistic, and it lead to disappointment - which is merely an observation.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

Missy May said:


> I did not mean to be critical of the OP, and I am sorry if she or you misinterpreted my statements as such. The OP's expectation were unrealistic, and it lead to disappointment - which is merely an observation.


I didn't have any unrealistic expectations...


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

howrsegirl123 said:


> I didn't have any unrealistic expectations...


I mean I didn't expect people to agree, or disagree, with it. It just surprised and frustrated me that some people would go to such lengths to worry about me over an innocent picture. That's all


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## aubie (Aug 24, 2013)

That's something I have noticed more about people lately. This idea that they have to agree with it. Just because it isn't my pursuit of happiness, doesn't mean it shouldn't or can't be someone else's. Maybe its the social media age. The self absorbed way of thinking. The need to comment to you and offer unsolicited advice.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

Thanks. And so what if I was gay/lesbian (I'm not) but would that REALLY be a problem to them (FB friends)? Would that cause an employer to 'judge my character?' If it did, have no fear, I would NOT be working for them.

And I never got a response from that FB message I sent back. Don't know what that means...


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## Change (Jul 19, 2014)

I have several different "social groups" and they all intersect on FB. I have friends who share their lives; I have friends who share their animals; I have gun friends, and horse friends, and writer friends and artist friends and gay friends and people I have known from other forums long since dead (anyone else remember GEnie or CompuServe?) If someone posts something and tags me, ALL my friends will be able to see it - including family, nieces, grandchildren.

I advocate literacy, compassion, LGBT rights, gun rights, personal liberty and the 1st Amendment. If you don't like what I have to say, my response is to say, "block me."

I will say however, the one group of people I associate with that is NOT included on FB are my work associates.


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## Paintedponies1992 (Nov 17, 2013)

Just recently I posted something and my dad called my mom blowing up at her about it, so you know what I did? I deleted him and his family because it's MY facebook and I can post what I want on it. I also deleted his family because I know for a fact that some of them like to report back to him what I post and really I'm sick and tired of it.


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## Chiilaa (Aug 12, 2010)

I had a few "friends" like this. I posted more of the stuff they objected to... They soon disappear or harden up.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

Thanks everyone


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