# In desperate need of advice!! Please help



## Boo Walker (Jul 25, 2012)

It sounds like you know exactly what to do. I would not tajr another lesson from him and find someone else. It's nice you had the chance to experience a different teaching style while your old trainer was gone. You can apologize for losing your cool if you want, let him know you were frustrated. Not every trainer is suited to every person.


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## AndalusianRobyn (Nov 27, 2017)

One of the biggest problem with finding a trainer is that just because someone can ride well and has good show results, does not mean they can necessarily TEACH. It sounds to me like he is not aware of how to fix this particular problem- maybe he is good in other areas, I don't know. It sounds like you were both a little less than professional. I would just move on as soon as possible. You could say something like ''I am sorry for the way I handled the situation- however I stand by my message''.

I wouldn't worry about it too much though. Just move on!


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## mmshiro (May 3, 2017)

At first you _felt_ there must be a better way, then a substitute showed you that there _actually is_ a better way. There is no question in my mind that you should switch, maybe even to that instructor. It's not about the progress your instructor has made in his career, it's about the progress he helps you make. Otherwise you might as well send that lesson money to me, making equal improvement but with less aggravation!


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## dkbrown (Dec 5, 2018)

*You have identified the problem*

Your "trainer" is not one, He is an open rider, probably heavy handed with his clients horses, don't waste your time/wellbeing with him. Maybe you can tell him ( you are the client after all) that you would prefer to work with his associate But be prepared to move on.....these people frequently have more ego than brains.

D K Brown


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## horselovinguy (Oct 1, 2013)

Just because someone is a "great" rider does not make them a "great" instructor or trainer....
You have just found that to be a truth.... :|

Communication between horse & rider and from a instructor/trainer who not only listens but observes the reaction, the response, the understanding and the finished comprehension of a task completed.

Me, the "great" rider/trainer I would _*not*_ take instruction from anymore at this point.
Your proof to yourself was riding with a lesser known but task successfully learned lesson while the "great" was away...
Maybe at a future time the "great" rider/trainer will be a better match for you but now, you learn more, feel more accomplishment and less frustration riding with the lesser....
Done deal....lesser but greater results is where I would be spending my time, my efforts and _my money_...period.
:runninghorse2:....


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

bepau3000 said:


> *My question is, should I apologise? Or should I look for another trainer? Please I need advice*
> 
> Let me quickly mention that I left him to ride my horse A whole month and when I came back my horse felt the same, maybe even a bit harder in the mouth (my trainer is very hard handed at times and tends to run his horses).


 \


Both. The answer is, Both. YOu need to apologize to him for losing your cool and exploding. And then, you need to ask him to transfer your account to this other 'leutenant" sub-trainer. If possible. 



Hopefully, this won't poison the whole relationship so badly that being at that barn is no longer an option.


Not every teacher works for every student. you need not be ashamed, nor blame him for this. It's just a matter of the two of you not making a very good match. No shame there.


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## humanartrebel1020 (Nov 12, 2018)

tinyliny said:


> \
> 
> 
> Both. The answer is, Both. YOu need to apologize to him for losing your cool and exploding. And then, you need to ask him to transfer your account to this other 'leutenant" sub-trainer. If possible.
> ...


Well said tiny! Love it


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## loosie (Jun 19, 2008)

Sounds like this bloke is not much of a teacher & his 'lieutenant' is. Agree with Tiny that I'd apologise for 'losing it'. But you're the one employing him, paying for the lessons, so if he's not teaching you, there's no need to apologise for taking your money elsewhere.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

As others have said above, someone can be exceptional at a skill or sport, but not exceptional at teaching it. Furthermore, someone can be a great teacher and simply not mesh well with a client. Some students can learn under any environment, while others will flourish under particular ones.

Move on to someone whose teaching style is more suited for you at this time.


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## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

No need to apologize. Just because someone is a great rider doesn't mean they are capable of being a good trainer. They don't go hand-in-hand.

It sounds like he could care less about helping you or teaching you, and he is more focused on the money. JMO.

The helper sounds like he is pretty decent, especially if he is explaining to you WHY your horse is doing that, or why it's important to do it this way, etc. That's what a trainer should do. Help you learn & explain things to you. 

I don't blame you for losing it. Enough is enough. Apologize if you wish, but take your money elsewhere. I wouldn't take another lesson with him. He isn't helping you OR your horse.


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## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

bepau3000 said:


> My question is, should I apologise? Or should I look for another trainer?



Yes and yes.


It is never okay to explode at someone else. That accomplishes nothing and is very disrespectful.


But obviously this trainer is not the right trainer for you. You need to find someone else who will meet your needs.


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