# Have I lost my mind?



## showmom (May 14, 2014)

Okay, so looking into other trainers (per my previous post) and the one trainer I REALLY like is about a 2 hour drive from me. The trainer is a world class level trainer and has clients all over the US who fly into train on weekends. My child needs the experience and training that this trainer can offer.

I contacted my local airport (not international, just regional) and they have FAA certified pilots willing to fly my child (and a parent) to and from lessons once a week at just $100/round trip (30 minute trip via air). I personally think that is NOT a bad deal. We have an extra car at our house that is basically a back-up for emergencies that I could leave parked at the destination airport and get in and drive to the trainer when we land. If the pilot could fly my child there once during the week and I could get her there on the weekends, she would still be getting the time in that she needs but with a higher level trainer.

Does this sound crazy to anyone else? My husband thinks I've lost my mind. I don't see a difference in this and parents who do the same thing for their children who participate in elite level gymnastics, swimming, etc.


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

Why not? It sounds like a really cool way to get to lessons to me, especially with being able to get to a world-class trainer in less time than driving. How many kids get to say they get brought to their activities by an airplane??

I would say the only thing that would potentially throw a monkey wrench into that plan is because mechanical issues or weather can ground planes without warning, so you would need to plan with enough time that you could drive there if somehow the pilot could not leave on time. Maybe leaving earlier than you need to if your daughter doesn't mind waiting for her lesson, and the trainer does not mind having her there. I can't think anyone would feel negatively about a supervised child coming early to lessons. 

Either way, it sounds like a large chunk of time will be taken out of the day, whether by planning for the weather or driving time, so it's almost a moot point.


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## showmom (May 14, 2014)

Mulefeather said:


> Why not? It sounds like a really cool way to get to lessons to me, especially with being able to get to a world-class trainer in less time than driving. How many kids get to say they get brought to their activities by an airplane??
> 
> I would say the only thing that would potentially throw a monkey wrench into that plan is because mechanical issues or weather can ground planes without warning, so you would need to plan with enough time that you could drive there if somehow the pilot could not leave on time. Maybe leaving earlier than you need to if your daughter doesn't mind waiting for her lesson, and the trainer does not mind having her there. I can't think anyone would feel negatively about a supervised child coming early to lessons.
> 
> Either way, it sounds like a large chunk of time will be taken out of the day, whether by planning for the weather or driving time, so it's almost a moot point.


 
Thought about the weather and mechanical issues and on those days, we would just have to reschedule. The pilot I talked to said that it's not a big deal if weather is bad one day to fly the first day it clears up.


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## Rebelwithacause (Aug 7, 2013)

This is a bare minimum of $400 a month just in transportation, not to mention the cost of the lessons and various other expenses that come with horse training would be too steep _for me_.

However; I don't see a "problem" with it unless your husband thinks it is crazy. Also, I'm wondering if your child needs this level of trainer? Is it more to say, " My child trained with ____" than anything else? I'm just asking because I have found that people who go to great lengths to help children pursue these activities are sometimes more competitive with it than the actual participant (child) is. If that's the case-- you can save yourself a whole boatload of time and money by finding a trainer closer to you.


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## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

If you can afford it financially, more power to ya. I wouldn't think twice about training with a world-class trainer if I could afford it and if it helped me reach the goals I want to achieve. 

However, you do need the support of your husband. ;-) But that we can't help you with!


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

Rebelwithacause said:


> This is a bare minimum of $400 a month just in transportation, not to mention the cost of the lessons and various other expenses that come with horse training would be too steep _for me_.


I think if $400 a month in transportation costs is okay and being seriously considered, along with fees being charged by a world-class trainer for twice-weekly instruction, money may not be an issue for the OP. :wink:


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## MinervaELS (Mar 4, 2014)

I agree with the others. If you can afford it (as in, not cutting into other important things such as a college fund) and everyone supports it, why not? I do think that it is also dependent upon your daughter though. If SHE wants it too, and is very serious about riding, and has been doing it for a while to show she is committed, then heck yes. Go for it.

If you work and are footing the bill for this yourself, then it may just be easiest to sit down with your husband and gently explain that your daughter really wants to do this and that you are willing to make it happen for her both financially and in terms of your time commitment. I don't know what his particular points of dissent are, but if it has to do with you working and also flying with your daughter one day a week maybe you could set aside time elsewhere to spend with him/the family.


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## showmom (May 14, 2014)

Rebelwithacause said:


> This is a bare minimum of $400 a month just in transportation, not to mention the cost of the lessons and various other expenses that come with horse training would be too steep _for me_.
> 
> However; I don't see a "problem" with it unless your husband thinks it is crazy. Also, I'm wondering if your child needs this level of trainer? Is it more to say, " My child trained with ____" than anything else? I'm just asking because I have found that people who go to great lengths to help children pursue these activities are sometimes more competitive with it than the actual participant (child) is. If that's the case-- you can save yourself a whole boatload of time and money by finding a trainer closer to you.


Yes I understand Rebel, the costs associated with training and owning horses, we have several. And no, she is at the point in her showing career that if she wants to pursue it more aggressively, she needs a world class trainer. She has basically dominated all of the local and regional competitions and is ready to move to that next level. She's won buckles, saddles, high points (not all around, she doesn't do English), etc. She is a great rider, she's gone to a Nancy Cahill clinic who even suggested she pursue this more aggressively. The trainer I have in mind has come and watched her perform several times and has repeatedly told us how much she would love to have the horse and rider in her barn. World class trainers don't do that just to make money. IF they think a rider and/or horse would be a waste of their time, they basically say so. Perhaps more diplomatically, but the point is made.


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## Rebelwithacause (Aug 7, 2013)

Well then it sounds like this would be a good fit for her! Ditto the PP who said that it might be wise to check for your husband's support


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## showmom (May 14, 2014)

MinervaELS said:


> I agree with the others. If you can afford it (as in, not cutting into other important things such as a college fund) and everyone supports it, why not? I do think that it is also dependent upon your daughter though. If SHE wants it too, and is very serious about riding, and has been doing it for a while to show she is committed, then heck yes. Go for it.
> 
> If you work and are footing the bill for this yourself, then it may just be easiest to sit down with your husband and gently explain that your daughter really wants to do this and that you are willing to make it happen for her both financially and in terms of your time commitment. I don't know what his particular points of dissent are, but if it has to do with you working and also flying with your daughter one day a week maybe you could set aside time elsewhere to spend with him/the family.


The costs and finances involved would not be an issue. I was actually impressed that it was only $100/roundtrip, which was my point posting how much the flight cost. I honestly was expecting them to say something like $400-$500 a week, which of course would absolutely have been out of the question then. Think about how much money people blow daily/weekly. Eating out, buying unnecessary things at the store, etc. I bet if most people add it up, they blow at least $100 a week. 

My husband just thinks it's crazy to fly our kid to a lesson. LOL! Just the sheer thought of how she will get there is crazy to him!


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## Cielo Notturno (Sep 12, 2013)

I think it isn't crazy if your girl likes competing and can realistic aim for big goals.

As you said, elite level of all sports require sacrifices; many people relocate states away so that their child can get the best training available. 

If she is indeed elite level, and you can afford it, there's nothing wrong in flying her to and from the lessons.


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## Reiningcatsanddogs (Oct 9, 2014)

I did something just as crazy with my kid who was an elite athlete. 

The hard part was keeping attention on school work and other obligations. I know when I was training for competition myself, sleep was often the issue and so was burnout. Just be ready and willing emotionally to pull the plug on it, if it becomes apparent that it is too much for the child or the rest of the family (spouse especially included).


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

High level athletes train 6 days week. You're daughter won't be. As proof of her competency she'll need to be able to compete regularly as well to see how she stacks up against the others. If hubby has a never-ending wallet and this is your daughter's ambition and not yours, then go for it. Do keep in mind, that when the hormones start raging a high percentage of girls dump the horses for boys. I've seen it happen many times. 99% of those higher level athletes are spouses and parents and the training is on the back burner.


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## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

showmom said:


> My husband just thinks it's crazy to fly our kid to a lesson. LOL! Just the sheer thought of how she will get there is crazy to him!


Driving 4 hours round trip is going to at least cost you $100 in gas. Not to mention the _lost time_. Not to mention the miles on your car (wear and tear). 

The airplane sounds like a steal of a deal, and a time saver.


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## BreezylBeezyl (Mar 25, 2014)

OP, I wish my mom was as cool as you.


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## cheyennemymare (Oct 8, 2014)

If you and your daughter, AND your husband, who thinks it's crazy (LOL), all agree that this is worth it, GO FOR IT! It sounds like she really wants to do it, and if so, as Beau said, more power to yall! Now I wouldn't fly in a plane once a week because I'm scared of them lol. But that's just me


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## sunnyone (Sep 4, 2014)

That is a time savings if the trainer is really close to the airport. It is exhausting to drive a lot.

Ask hubby if he wants to take flying lessons - eventually he can take you.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

To be blessed with the ability to do so is a wonderful thing! Go for it-but I have to thank you for reminding me how blessed I am to have a jumping trainer just a few minutes drive away who is high level and doesn't charge me an arm and a leg. Anyway, God Bless and have safe flights! Just curious, what discipline is your daughter in?


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## palogal (May 30, 2008)

How does your child feel about this? That would be the deciding factor for me, assuming I had the money to do this (which I don't lol).


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## MinervaELS (Mar 4, 2014)

showmom said:


> The costs and finances involved would not be an issue. I was actually impressed that it was only $100/roundtrip, which was my point posting how much the flight cost. I honestly was expecting them to say something like $400-$500 a week, which of course would absolutely have been out of the question then. Think about how much money people blow daily/weekly. Eating out, buying unnecessary things at the store, etc. I bet if most people add it up, they blow at least $100 a week.
> 
> My husband just thinks it's crazy to fly our kid to a lesson. LOL! Just the sheer thought of how she will get there is crazy to him!



Frankly I think it's a heck of a deal too, but I never like to assume anything.  If he is just shell-shocked at the idea of your daughter flying to her lessons then maybe he needs a few weeks to adjust to the idea. You could always remind him that other talented athletes travel long distances for training/competition as well. Or just tell him that he'll appreciate it when she's riding in the Olympics/world championship/whatever else is applicable to her discipline. :lol:


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

The cost is remarkably cheap. But, to me, the risks are high. Riding is dangerous enough, but add in a small plane flight weekly, and the risks are higher.


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## ReiningCrazy (Jan 20, 2012)

The only issue about flying that I see is your daughter's horse will now be located at the trainers. So she will get to ride the horse for her 1 lesson and then leave to fly back home. If she wants to compete at a higher level with the horse then she would need to do "homework" that shes been working with the trainer on. If due to weather she cannot fly out to the trainer now a week or two can go by without riding that horse. 

A 2 hour drive one way might seem like a lot but when she can be at home the other 6 days a week working her horse it might be easier for her to advance quicker.

Just a thought.

ETA: And just for reference we have people who trailer every Saturday 2+ hours one way to ride with my trainer. The horses dont care as they get to feed their face and it makes it nicer that they are so trailer broke you can take them anywhere.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

did they say they would move the horse? maybe they are using the trainer's horses.


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## ReiningCrazy (Jan 20, 2012)

I read this and figured that if the Trainer wants the horse and rider in the barn and that the daughter is going to her to advance then she will be doing it on her own horse. If not and it is a trainer's horse then nvm my post.



showmom said:


> The trainer I have in mind has come and watched her perform several times and has repeatedly told us how much she would love to have the horse and rider in her barn.


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## GreenBackJack (Feb 23, 2012)

How old is your daughter? How long has she been competing?


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## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

I'm surprised that flying would be that cheap as well. I don't think you're crazy. I'm looking at an hour and a half drive one way to get to a trainer that actually has proper training methods around here in Iowa, except I can only probably afford driving twice a month and then working on my own once a week at the local arena and then as much outside time as the weather allows until spring.


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## southernbound (May 17, 2014)

Saddlebag said:


> High level athletes train 6 days week. You're daughter won't be. As proof of her competency she'll need to be able to compete regularly as well to see how she stacks up against the others. If hubby has a never-ending wallet and this is your daughter's ambition and not yours, then go for it. Do keep in mind, that when the hormones start raging a high percentage of girls dump the horses for boys. I've seen it happen many times. 99% of those higher level athletes are spouses and parents and the training is on the back burner.


 You don't seem to have a very high opinion of girls Saddlebag. This isn't the first rather rude post you've made about them. 

She made it very clear that her daughter competes successfully and the trainer sees potential in her. 

Finally, why is it the "hubby's" never ending wallet? You assume much.


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## MyBoySi (Dec 1, 2011)

On a lighter note am I the only one who wants to be adopted by the op?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

I can understand you wanting the best for your child and if you can afford it and it is what she wants then it os up to you to go for it.

What I cannot understand is why do all this for WP? It isn't as if she is going to be picked for the Olympics or World Championships or even much in the way of International competition.

I do admit to being very anti WP with the ridiculous way the horses have to move, to me it is not good horsemanship but, I am a Brit so what would I know about it?


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I do have a high opinion of girls but I've seen the transition from horses to boys many many times. The parents have invested a lot of time and money, been there at shows and bam, it's all about boys. That is built in to us. I have been friends with an owner of dressage horses for a long time and she has clued me in regarding expenditures, amount of riding time to build muscle memory in both horse and rider - 5 years with the horse being ridden 5 days a week, 3 on, one off, two on, one off. I've also met many parents who live vicariously thro their children and I sincerely hope the OP isn't one of them.


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## hyperkalemic4 (Dec 8, 2014)

I did not catch your first post, but I was wondering how old your child is and at what level if riding she is now. Whether she is aggressive and comfortable on any horse, if she can ride without bouncing on the horses reins and squeezing with her legs... If she is still just occupying space on top of the horse, It might be wise of you to give her some lessons from a not so great trainer till she can sit up and ride well and with confidence and then go to the top.


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