# From Trot to Passage: A beginner's journal



## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

(I have been posting in http://www.horseforum.com/new-horses/new-horse-bonding-280706/ but decided to move to an actual journal)

My vision of being an equestrian, enjoying long trail rides with my loyal steed and working together in the ring to conquer competitive endeavors, has materialized as a disconnected experience. 

. . .​
I understand that both rider and horse strive to connect their respective bodies, head to toe. Of course, they then learn to connect with each other. In the beginning, because of inexperience and lack of physical shape, they are disconnected and imbalanced. That is how my horse experience feels right now. I have my lessons, and then I have my horse. 

I feel like I am mediocre at best in my lessons. I bought an exceptional horse. I can't do anything except bond with my exceptional horse, because I'm not good enough to ride him. He's very sensitive and ready to take on the world, and I'm this incapable mess that would just toss around on his back and pull his mouth and kick him on accident. 

Why did I buy such an exceptional horse? It was one of those moments in life you don't pass up. You meet someone (animals are someones too), and you know that it was meant to be. You take the leap and say "yes, destiny, I do" I was not going to buy a horse. I was going to lease a sleepy, toe dragging beginner horse, and progress through horses as I gradually got better. 

Destiny had other plans. Now I have my exceptional horse, out in the pasture, learning his own lessons as he adjusts to a new herd and new style of training. I think it makes me feel better to know that he is adjusting and learning, too. I would feel so much worse if he was just sitting and regressing while I got my act in gear. 

I had this conversation with myself when I bought him. 
"Self, this horse is obviously amazing and will win every dressage competition he enters, with the proper training and riding. You can't even trot without falling on your face. Why are you doing this?"

"Well, you see Self, this is a once in a lifetime moment and we have to seize the day, ride destiny, and trust the future that is in store for us. Plus, how long could it possibly take to catch up in riding skill? A month? A few months? Even a year? What is that in the grand scheme of things, compared to missing out on this which was meant to be?"

"You know what, Self, whatever. You're not going to listen. You never listen. And that's fine; because I just exist to goad you along with 'I told you so's' in order to motivate you to accomplish some ridiculous goal out of sheer spite for my prudence." 

. . .​
I have been trotting, since my first lesson, almost two months ago. My dream of riding my beautiful horse, down a gilded trail of fall leaves and fragrant wild flowers, gets harder to envision with each bouncy half-way-but-not-really post. 

I keep telling myself that each bouncy half-way-but-not-really post carries me closer to my dream. Lately, it has been in a shaky, half hysterical way. One of those, "if I keep saying it, I might believe it", mantras. I am so tired of posting. I am so tired of failing. 

It feels like a torture session, where I go into a ring and fail. One two one two one two fail two one fail one fail fail fail stop sigh one two one two horse tossing her head and stopping, me squeezing and yelling trot, me falling forward, one two one, me not being in the right position, one two one two.

I went to my lesson today with the goal of embracing the forward movement. I told myself that I wasn't going to fall off, shuffling around the ring at a trot, and the worse that could happen was some bouncing and being off the beat. I was just going to do it -- go forward, and forward, and forward, and around, and forward. However stupid and sloppy it was, I was going to just do it. 

That worked for a few minutes; a few times around the ring. I even lasted through a few horse-head-was-up-and-now-it's down-by-her-feet-but-i-must-stay-balanced-and-GO. I even lasted through "squeeze, you aren't squeezing, kick her, kick her, come on! Good! Now she's going!" (and my legs are somewhere back in make the horse go land, so I must travel back to make the horse go land, find my legs, put them under me...and now the horse needs a reminder to go again... cry) 

I lasted. My teacher told me to be happy, that I was doing it, and it was such a big step up.

Well, this is the problems with steps, they never end. 

Inner leg fail. I wasn't holding my upper,forward,inner thigh against the saddle. My teacher put my legs in the right spot, put a leaf under each leg, and told me to trot. I couldn't get my lower legs anywhere near the horse to cue her. As soon as I tried anything of the sort, my leg rolled out of position and the leaf fell. It was so confusing, I just wanted to scream. My lower legs feel like they stick straight out away from the horse when I am in the correct position. I told myself that I just needed some sleep and rest and aleve, after having trotted for so long already, to absorb this information. I'm still stumped and defeated. 

My feet were sliding around in the stirrups, and I would lose them. This mostly happened after I had been trotting for awhile. The stirrups are the right length. My teacher even moved them a hole and told me I could move them back when I was better. I didn't let it bug me at first, because I was holding on with my legs anyway, and the stirrup would come back into place if I just kept going. As the lesson fell apart in my mind, however, every little thing just paralyzed me and the stirrup fails got more and more mind consuming.

My reins. Just. God, that poor horse's mouth. I usually try to focus more on being good to her mouth. I didn't this time. I just tried my best to give her the space she needed to keep going forward. Every once in awhile, though, the teacher would let me know I was being a jerk on her mouth. If I had me on my back, I would have thrown myself off and stomped all over my face. 

I don't even remember what else. Those just hang over my head like an angry wasp nest. Buzzing in my ears and my face, stinging me over and over. 

I felt like I had to relax and go with the horse. I felt like I was too caught up in the "how to" to actually do. So I did. And I messed up the "how to" completely. Does that mean I actually did? Or is it just a sloppy attempt to rush through?

. . .​
I have to keep going. I have an amazing horse, who loves me and loves his training, just waiting on me to get to his level. I have this vast expanse of quicksand in front of me, blocking my dream experience with my dream horse. I have to pull myself through each step to get to the other side. My self doubt, my body's lack of proper tone, my complete inexperience on horseback. I pushed myself into this position. I could have kept this as a bi-weekly-tee-hee-hobby; but, I pushed myself into a high level of expectation. It hurts, and it sucks, and it makes me rage at myself. In the end, I would rather push, hurt, rage, than be mediocre forever. Do I want to be eternally trotting? No. 

One day I'm going to passage all over that **** ring. I'm going to do it.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

hang in there!


I forgot to mention, get video of your riding soon . In a year , you will not recognize yourself.


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

Wow our stories are quite similar! Gosh I so remember that feeling (it wasn't so long ago, after all). I'm just now starting to ride my horse. You'll get there!

Looking forward to reading more!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

Thanks for the encouragement  I'm glad to hear that someone has been in my shoes and can attest to there being a light at the end of the tunnel. I love the video idea. I'll see if my husband will come along and be camera man for me.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*Finding the Rhythm and Communicating Better*

I had a realization today; my lifelong philosophy has been to seek and follow the natural rhythm of things, yet I have been so blindly driven in my equestrianism that I have shut myself off from rhythm in the one area I should be seeking it out the most. I have even been receiving blatant reminders from the universe during my horse experience. My teacher is constantly saying "rhythm is balance", "find the rhythm". 

Following the natural rhythm of my life is what brought me to this amazing stable, and led me to this amazing horse. Once I had the two, I rushed ahead and tried to force everything. I got so caught up in trying to be worthy of my situation that I overextended my part of the deal, trying to take everything, and missing the stuff that is actually important. 

My teacher has told me that I am too slow to respond. I think I tried to overcompensate for this by trying to catch and absorb everything. I know, instinctively, that the reason I'm "slow to respond" is that I don't know everything I should respond to, or how I should respond to everything. There's no way I can compensate for that, other than experience. 
For instance, my horse stumbled during my last lesson, and I responded by stopping the horse and frantically drilling my instructor "is she ok? what happened? should I get off and check her?" My teacher said she was fine and to keep going. Okay, so the giant creature that I am atop of, stumbles, lurching us both downward, and I should respond by "just keep going". 

On the other hand, my horse could be meandering around while I am talking to my instructor, and my instructor will tell me to stop the horse, or shorten the reins. I don't do it right away, or I just can't get the horse to stop by hauling back on its head(which I am noticing rarely makes the horse stop anyway), and I'm not responding fast enough; one, two, three, four, five -- I've told you five times, you need to respond faster. No, you've counted to five, so my five seconds of "AHH SHE IS COUNTING, I'M IN TROUBLE?!??!??!" just ended up paralyzing me during your counting! The horse was walking, there wasn't a life or death situation that I failed, there was just a moment of complete chaos that was borne of nothing other than me not responding within a second's notice. 

Or the times when the horse just decides that her Mommy is talking, and we are walking around anyway, so she is going to walk up to Mommy and give her a nuzzle, and I'm "letting the horse run her over" by not steering it away. No, the horse is slowly shuffling up to you while we aren't working on something. If it was going somewhere on the other side of you, I would do everything I could to change direction out of common sense. 

I've let these miscommunications foster self doubt in myself. I need to respond to them by vocalizing my own reasoning, and telling her that I am responding to the situation by using my own judgement and deciding that the current course of events is just fine by me. I need to communicate this to my teacher so she understands me, and what is going on in my head, so she can teach me based on what is actually happening in my perception and not just what is happening in her perception. I need to communicate better. I am taking lessons in communication with a horse. Maybe, in the grand scheme of things, this is happening to teach me to effectively communicate in the moment and not just on paper. 

Somewhere along this equestrian path, I've let it convince me that I need to change. I do not need to change; I can not change. I can develop, but I can not change. I am me, and I am a seeker of rhythm. I often find my own rhythm, baffling everyone else in the process, but it is my drum and not theirs. 

I need to go back to trusting myself as far as finding rhythm. When I am open to rhythm, I have patience in myself and the time it takes to do something. I have enough to work on, what with developing myself physically, and absorbing the knowledge that presents itself to me. Over analyzing and getting caught up in a frantic prey type mindset is only going to prevent me from grasping the rhythm, riding it, getting comfortable with it, and becoming one with what is happening. 

When I ride on Friday, I am going to be open to the rhythm; The beat of the horse, the balance of my seat, the softness of my hands and how they work in rhythm with the horse. When my teacher teaches me, I will translate her corrections into my rhythm. I will communicate what I feel, because I am learning the rhythm of this new world, and rhythm is one of those delicate intangibles that must constantly be felt and shared and molded to as well as molded in order to develop and become beautiful.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

with regard to the attention of the horse and it nudging on someone while you have been talking , my teacher says, '
"if you leave the horse, he'll leave you'. meaning, if you let your attention wander, your horse will leave you, mentally and sometimes physically. to a certain extent , you must always be with your hrose, even if it's peripheral vision, peripheral hearing, peripheral space.

love your blog.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

tinyliny said:


> with regard to the attention of the horse and it nudging on someone while you have been talking , my teacher says, '
> "if you leave the horse, he'll leave you'. meaning, if you let your attention wander, your horse will leave you, mentally and sometimes physically. to a certain extent , you must always be with your hrose, even if it's peripheral vision, peripheral hearing, peripheral space.
> 
> love your blog.


Thank you so much for that tip. It reminds me of a video I was watching on youtube. The rider, who was explaining something to the camera, was softly moving the bit in the horse's mouth. You could feel them through the camera, like looking at a couple in love, constantly touching, glancing at, feeling each other. No one was more important to the other than the being they were partnered to at that moment. That's what I felt horsemanship would be, in my starry eyed dreams. 

Writing this journal, and sorting through my experience, is bringing the romance back into my endeavor. I decided to ditch the "how to's" and just watch the Olympians, the "Masters", to let their energy inspire and mold my subconscious. What a world that has unlocked. Nuno Oliveira, what a _force_; what a being! So subtle, so in tune with the movement; and to watch him work with a horse, to feel the moment they shared, it made me feel like I was watching something almost sacred. It made me wonder if anyone should watch, which of course everyone should; but, the intimacy between horse and rider felt almost indecent to intrude upon. If that makes sense. 

Up to this point, everything I have seen besides some Olympic level riders, has felt disjointed and forced. No wonder I was feeling that way myself, seeking inspiration and knowledge from such sources. Yes, I am a beginner, and I'm a decade, or decades, from such fluidity; but, I know even a beginner can sense what is natural and beautiful. 

I've been following this rhythm tonight, like an unquenchable thirst, and ended up buying a book off amazon that felt right. The Complete Training of Horse and Rider in the Principles of Classic Horsemanship, by Alois Podhajsky, a former director of the Spanish Riding School in Vienna. What better book to learn from than one by a man who oversaw the training of Lipizzans, when my special boy is none other than a Lipizzan! 

I'm opening myself completely. I'm watching beautiful riders, not trying to interpret their commands, just let the poetry of their movement seep into me. I'm reading, rereading, letting the knowledge flow through the web of my conscious mind and find root in my subconscious. I'm not to the point where focusing on a subtle nuance or special movement will do my riding any favors. I know that consuming a subtle nuance, or special movement, will let it cultivate and blossom into my conscious mind when the moment comes forward. 

Right now, your tip is what I need to focus on. I am with the horse, touching, talking, learning; that is the basic building block that I need in order to grasp technique and ability. You have been sent to me by an angel <3


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

Today's lesson was good and then bad. 

I ended up riding the older lesson horse at the barn. He's 30+ and super sweet. I was cleaning out his hooves, and felt him turn his head around to me. I thought of moving but sometime told me it was gonna be just fine. Then I felt his tongue licking my back like a big puppy. He's so sweet. 

My teacher stuck around in the arena to get me up on him and then went off to finish something with her last student. I practiced riding him around at a walk based on what I had been reading in my book. I kept my hands around the reins like they were ribbons leading to his mouth, and when I wanted to turn I just gently sqeezed my hand closed. It was like magic, he responded so fast. I figured there was no rush, so I did diagonals and figure 8s. 

After awhile I felt like trying the trot just cuz what the hey, this walking and steering stuff was going so great. I made sure my legs were in the right position with my inner upper thigh against the saddle, my lower legs against his body, my heels down. And it was great. We weren't doing a super awesome fast trot, but he is a bouncy horse, and it was happening! Then my thighs sent a suicide note to my brain, and my instructor came back. At least she saw me for a whole two minutes before my body crapped out on me. "You're getting stronger! And look, you're riding him in hand, he is paying attention to you!" She is really nice. She still lets me know when I'm messing up. I love her  

The rest of the lesson consisted of me trotting halfway around the arena, getting bounced higher and higher, getting more and more mad at myself. The more mad at myself I got, the worse it got. My elbows kept ending up behind my body. It just sucked. My muscles were tired, they didn't want to do anything I told them to. Whenever I got something resembling a trot going, and managed to post it halfway around the arena, my teacher would remind me to make him trot a little faster, and then whatever rhythm I had gotten comfortable with was gone and I just lost it. I'm sure he was moving at a crawl, but bahhh!

I wish I could just ride for short periods without having to get better or learn something. Just tack up, go out for twenty minutes to feel how the horse's body and mine work together, come back in. The lessons are an hour though. My husband says that's how I get better, is pushing myself. So I guess going out for short rides wouldn't be pushing. Wouldn't it be nice to not push, though? Just enjoy it for a little bit? 

I mean, I have my own horse, I just don't know if I could even ride him at a walk. He's super sensitive and wants to go. I'm kind of losing track of when I'll ever be able to ride him. When I'm strong. I can totally understand why people take steroids. 

My neck got hurt somehow in all the bouncing. I came home and poured a big drink and knocked myself out with an ice pack on my neck. It still is stiff and hurts to turn. My husband says I got so tense from wanting to be better that I got hurt. 

I'm going to Georgia tomorrow with my trainer to watch a dressage competition. She was saying we were going to go size up my competition. I was in my head thinking "hah, in ten years maybe" 

I'm glad I got a horse, because after every lesson I leave wanting to give up on myself and not come back. Having a horse there reminds me that there's something besides this crappy lesson hell. I think.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

love your blog!

it helped me remember how it felt to trot, 15 years ago, when I started as an adult. I always felt precarious . I always felt that I was lucky to stay on, and was riding by luck, not by skill. But, little by little, without me really noticing, I started to ride enough by skill, that things like a change in speed or tempo did not upset the "luck", as it would have before. 
As you build strength, balance and timing, you will be better able to ride without working so hard, so you'll actually need LESS strenght. Good skiers can ski all day because they have good balance and aren't working so hard. beginners are working there legs at 85%, all the time, so they tire very quickly, even though they are on the bunny slope.

your horse going a bit faster will actually HELP you , 'cause you have to work less.

I think the idea of a 20 minute ride on your own is a sweet idea, and something you can maybe "earn", by achieving some goal with your instructor.

Good luck and remmeber to take that video, so you can look back and laugh!


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*I did did ittt!!!!*

I have a lot to cover in this entry. The moral of the story is, I DID IT! Anyways:

My trainer and I went to the USDF Region 3 Finals in Conyers, Georgia. We sat in the big arena and watched musical freestyles all day. What an eye opener! 

We got there around the time the level 2 freestyles were starting. My jaw dropped open. There were so many people there just flopping all over the place. One person's shoulders rolled forward while her head bobbled around when she was sitting the trot. I couldn't believe people would compete unless they had a good strong seat and a balanced posture. 

I was kind of wondering if this was all a big joke, but then we started going up the levels and by the time we got to Grand Prix, it was a pretty good show. There was one person there that really took my breath away. It was like watching an Olympic performance. Every move was crystal clear and performed with style. 

Overall, though there were a lot of really good riders and horses, I left with a firm idea of what NOT to do. 

While we were at the show, we walked around and looked at the vendors. A saddle vendor practically ran us down and dragged me over to sit in a dressage saddle. I had never sat in a dressage saddle before! It was a big "ahhHAH" moment. When my legs slipped into place, I finally understood how I was supposed to sit. I've been pressing my thighs up to the padded spot on the all purpose saddle, so it's been giving me a chair seat no matter what I try to do. Understanding that my legs hang more "down" realllllllyyy cleared up a lot. Now I know how my upper inner thigh rests against the saddle, instead of me contorting my hip socket around to try and get it and hold it there. 

I bought a V headband with a classy line of rhinestones embedded in it to make my bridle all pretty for when I show. With that on my bridle, my bridle looks exactly like a $500 bridle I saw for sale. Pretty cool.

My trainer and I also had a talk about how I get too hard on myself in lessons. We made a deal that I would just go with the flow in lessons, and let her worry about what I am doing wrong. I can be hard on myself when I work out instead. 

Soooooo, fast forward to today. It felt like any other day, as I got ready at home and drove to the stable. I was hoping I would at least do a little better. The lesson before me was still tacking up when I got there, so I hung out a bit and talked to some people there. Then it was time to get my horse and tack up. 

I rode around at a walk, but not very long, because I had told myself in the car that "I won't learn how to do anything just walking around". As soon as I pressed her sides to get the trot going, she did her "I don't wanna, I'm gonna toss my head and walk in circles and be a little pain today". Yea? Well I saw horses at the show that didn't feel like doing anything, and I saw what those riders did. I was sick of having to kick that mare to get her to go, so I took my loose reins and popped her. 

Now, I don't know how to pop a horse, so what actually happens in this process is I whip my hand and somehow the noise transfers to her ears. But anyway, I showed her (mostly my hand) who was boss, and she was like a different horse. "Yes, Ma'am, let's work!" It's way easier to balance on a horse when it GOES instead of stopping short and tossing her head and changing up her speed. I never realized what a brat she was, because I thought it was my fault so I let her get away with it. Over the entire lesson, whenever she started her little "I don't wanna" dance, I would pop her, smack my hand in the process-doh, and she would go back to doing what I told her to. 

AND WE TROTTED! We didn't just saunter at a nice jog trot, nay, we TROTTED. I kept her little butt moving. Another difference today was that I realized I had never fallen backward. Whenever I've lost my balance, I've fallen forward. So I leaned more back today (so I was straight, not leaning back back) and that let my weight finally balance all the way down through my heels. I was able to relax. Can you believe it? Relax while I trotted! Yay! Even when she would decide to be a little pain and toss her head around out of nowhere and throw her shoulders forward, I was able to balance and pop her, and we kept going. 

I know I'm bringing up the popping a lot, but it was a huge revelation to me to take charge. I hadn't had the confidence to before, but I realized just how much I was letting the horse screw with me. I just needed her to do her job so I could learn mine. She was happy doing her job too. Her ears were perked forward, and I could feel her having fun just moving forward. She even respected me enough that when we were coming to a fence, I could feel her asking me which way to go, instead of just deciding which way she thought we might go. 

So, today was just awesome. I ended up trotting in circles and figure 8s, diagonals, everything. I took charge of my horse. I told my trainer "I just don't want to look like those people. I know it will take me awhile to stop flopping around.." and she said "You're not flopping around, you've got a strong leg and seat" And I was like "AHHHHHHHMAHGAWD!" 

My trainer said she would give me this week to keep getting secure in the trot, and then next week she is going to start working on details. 

I'm so happy. 

I hope when I ride a horse with a bigger trot that I'll do as good. This mare is pretty smooth. I've moved my lessons up to three days a week instead of two. That should help me get better!


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*Always something*

First, pictures! 


























My sweet boy is doing so great! My trainer is working on his topline and teaching him to be on the bit. I know it won't be long before I am riding him all over trails and having fun together.

My lessons are going good too. I'm trying to work on being less emotional during my lessons. Last lesson I just shut down after 20 minutes because I was taking everything my trainer said personally, and I was getting wound up, and I knew I was getting to a place where I did NOT need to be on the back of a horse. I told her I was getting tired. My husband was there and as soon as we got in the car he said "I knew when you said you were tired you just meant you were tired of her". He said she is a bit harsh. I dunno, I mean, I know she is good and she gets the job done, so I appreciate that about her. I just can't take it sometimes. It's not her job to coddle me though, it's her job to push me and make me better. 

She's great with Max in his lessons. Very patient. 

It's kind of been getting me depressed. I started horseback riding as a fun treat that I had been wanting to do all my life. It's fun when I accomplish a goal and am good at what I've been taught. It's just weird that I have that one "ahah" lesson where everything is great, and I get it; and then for the next few weeks I just kind of feel miserable in my lesson. I'll be fine for the first part of the lesson, and then a little ways in I feel like I'm being yelled at for three different things, and I just get completely overwhelmed and can't even do the stuff I know how to do. 

I didn't come into this thinking that I would go for dressage and even competing. I just thought I was going to learn to ride a horse so I could meander along a trail. I like where it's going because I feel like I'm really learning to ride. I'm getting pushed farther than I thought I could go, and I get pushed more and more each time I go to the stable. So I like that, and I just need to realize that I am working towards being really good instead of just being kind of okay.

I'm sure it's me. I feel like I am in the right place, and I feel like I am learning about horses and riding, but also personal self improvement lessons. It's just a very painful process. 

I'm trying to focus on work more so that when I get to the stable, I have the "Ahhh I'm not at work" glow. Anything I can do to make my attitude better. I want to be open and take my lessons the right way instead of ruining them by being defensive and stressed.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*Better now*

Today was a for fun day at school. I went to the field to get my lesson horse, and there were two people watching Maximas. All the other geldings were in their field, munching on grass, but my boy was over at the fence with the ladies. In particular, a very lovely Swedish Warmblood in heat. He was giving her all the romance a mare could ask for. Love nips, nuzzles, devilishly good looks. He tried to mount her a few times, but the fence was in the way. There was another mare who was completely jealous of the situation. She kept moving herself in between them. My sexy boy!

I got to try out my new Kerrits super grippy riding pants. They were amazing. I felt like I could fall asleep on top of the horse and they would hold me on. I somehow still felt my legs get tired, so I must have been gripping subconsciously with my muscles. 

My lesson was cut short because my neck started acting up. It got sprained or something last week, and it had just gotten better, but I felt it catch and OWWW. It's not as bad as it could be, but I didn't want to make it worse by pushing. 

It worked out for the best. My trainer and I spent the rest of our time talking, and I got to unload a lot of stress off my chest. We talked about goals, and stretches, and just generally talked. I actually feel like I can go to class without being stressed, and maybe even have fun again. She really helped me feel better. I think I just needed an emotional booster day. 

I don't have another lesson until Monday. Hopefully my neck will be better by then. I am going back tomorrow for Max's lesson.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

I have taken time off from online horse stuff. I felt like it was causing a lot of problems in my mindset toward riding. I've never succeeded in anything when I allow myself to look around at what other people are doing, and I couldn't help but compare myself when I looked online! Even looking up solutions to whatever I was stuck on was just stressing me out. So, I took the advice of the little voice in my head, and dove into just being in the moment with horseback riding.










I went to the U.S. Dressage Finals at the Kentucky Horse Park. It's not that I have tons of cash to go on vacations, it's just that I live a few hours from a lot of venues, and it's not that much $ for my trainer and I to take the weekend and split the bill. 

It was amazing!!! I not only saw the best horses and riders in the entire US, but my trainer took me all over the horsepark and showed me the inner workings of the beast. I saw everything from the stables, to the warmup rings, to the halls where the horses lined up. Seeing those huge warmbloods tacked up and lined up to go out to the ginormous show arena was something I'll never forget. 

One thing that was encouraging was the variety of horse breeds at the competition. Of course there were lots of warmbloods, but I also saw an Appy and just regular cute looking horses that were having fun with their owners. I also saw a really cute, pretty horse breed there called a "Drum Horse". It was so adorable! Maybe not the best mover, but it was there at the U.S. Finals for a reason!










Other highlights of the trip included walking around the horse park, visiting the horse museum, and seeing a demonstration by a trick horse trainer with his Frisian. I need to take the pictures and videos off my camera!!! I'll do that soon and post a bunch. I was a sucker for video taping the cute unique horses during their freestyles!

Since I got back from the trip, I've been working steadily on my riding and my trainer has been working steadily on getting Maximas ready for me to ride. I have a private lesson three days a week, and Maximas has his private lesson three days a week. We are so fortunate to have such an experienced and talented teacher at a ridiculous cut rate! 

I've moved from the indoor arena to the outdoor arena. The first time I did it, I got tired and almost bounced off my horse. Since then, I've gotten the hang of keeping in better control of both of us. I'm getting better about checking my diagonal and correcting it on my own. I don't know all the terminology, so I might be describing this in a weird way. I learned to sit back and feel where her butt is, and keep her connected and moving forward from behind. I'm learning to maneuver her around things and over poles so that she has the space to go where I want her to go. 

My last lesson, my trainer told me that I should give the horse a breather since we were trotting pretty fast. I said "Fast? We were going fast? That felt kind of slow!" so she said that next week, she thinks I can try cantering! She had me practice two point. She said that's how I stay off the horse's back so I don't get bounced off during the canter. So I am spending the weekend working out to make sure I am stronger come next week's canter! 

Maximas is doing great too. He is off lunge line lessons and getting ridden for his lessons. I've been there for the last two, while my trainer rode him herself. The first one, he was pretty snarky. I was glad I wasn't on him! This last lesson, though, he was a completely different cookie. He looked happy and comfortable, like he was figuring out his job and he wanted to do it the best he could. She said he never was taught to balance under a rider, and she also found out that he has some reaction like he's been spurred as a punishment before. As with everything we've done so far, though, the more we show him our way of doing things and how it's gentle and paced to help him succeed, he changes and blossoms into a better and better horse. 

My trainer said that "in the very near future" I'll be able to come tack him up and ride him around the indoor arena when I want. We won't be doing anything other than walking and trotting, but that's what both of us need to get a little stronger and a little more balanced. 

Oh, and I also have been shopping way too hard for Maximas! Like OMG, way too much $$$, but it all is so satisfying to open up and use! I need to take pictures of all the stuff I got on him, because it always looks way better on him than it did on the website where I bought it. 

I got him his winter blanket. It's this lovely aqua blue color. He looks so smart in it! I also got my saddle. I had been working up the guts to fork over the money, and then it went on sale. Like super sale. It's the New Bates Isabell, which is usually upwards of 3k, and I got it brand new for 2k from Dover. When does that happen? I haven't sat in it yet, or put it on Maximas, so I'm going to do all that tomorrow. 

There's the short version of everything that's happened in the past few weeks. I'll pick apart each topic and add pictures over the next few days.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*Videos!*

All of these videos had auto focus problems, because I had to use my cell phone and I hadn't changed the setting yet. SO I am SOOO sorry. 

Here's a video from about a month ago, of Maximas getting his lesson: 
Maximas (Favory Triskella II) getting Schooled! - YouTube

Here's me walking around and warming up before my lesson yesterday. The video might be turned around for a few more minutes. I had to rotate it in youtube editor. : 
My riding lesson on Breeze 12/20/13: Warm up walk - YouTube

Here's me doing a posting trot: 
My riding lesson on Breeze 12/20/13: Posting trot - YouTube

Here's me doing a sloppy mismatched of sitting trot, posting trot, and two point trot. I'm still figuring out this stuff. 
My riding lesson on Breeze 12/20/13: Trotting - sitting *sorta*, posting, two point *sorta* - YouTube

Here's me doing the very beginning process of learning the sitting trot:
My riding lesson on Breeze 12/20/13: Sitting Trot Practice - YouTube


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*More updates incoming, but for now a reflection of the past few months*

I had a big setback when I ended up taking three weeks off from riding. I was feeling kind of sick and wanted to take time off and get my body back in balance. Of course, when I got back to riding, that set me way back. 

I stopped riding Max and went back to just riding the lesson horse. I realized too, that I just wasn't ready to really ride Max. I can walk around on him in the ring, which is good and something I am going to get back to... and hopefully more than that, but I just wasn't balance or secure enough to really be a rider like he needs. 

I've been dedicated to going to my lessons, and I'm making lots of progress at them. My balance is a lot better. I'm learning how to ride at a more advanced level than squeeze legs, hold rein out to turn. I feel stronger and more secure now. My main problem is that I am sedentary when I'm off the horse, so when I get on the horse I get winded pretty fast. My muscles are fine, and I could keep going, I just start huffing and puffing and getting dizzy and have to take breathers. I'm going to start doing some serious cardio to fix that. 

I still haven't officially cantered. I unofficially cantered a few times. One time, before my teacher started to get on my case to ride with contact, I was warming up my lesson horse and she was giddily trotting around in the brisk air (and I was giddily riding with her, happy that my upper leg was gluing me to the saddle like it should) and BAM, we were cantering. I stopped her because my trainer wasn't there and I didn't want to get in over my head. Another time, I was trotting over a pole, and the horse hopped over the pole and zoom, cantered off with me hanging on to her neck. Sweet lesson horse she is, she realized she had an idiot hanging on her neck and slowed down so I could sit back up (with my poor teacher having a heart attack at the ring side) 

I haven't fallen off. yet. (watch, I'll fall off tomorrow) 

Mainly my lessons now are my teacher calling out patterns for me to go, letter to letter, circles, shoulder in, yields, learning to tell the horse to bend around my leg, that sort of stuff. Not speedy riding, but controlled riding. 

I'm mostly concerned with learning to have gentle hands and be a quiet rider so I can give simple and direct cues so my horse can relax and happily follow them. (instead of being a spaz that is telling her 20 different things at once because I don't know better)

Oh, and posting on the correct lead when I trot. Cuz' apparently that's too advanced for me.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

Yesterday was awesome! I trotted on Max (on the lunge line)! That seems like a little victory, but it is huge for me. 

We found out why Max has been so ornery under saddle. The original vet that did his pre sale told me that his teeth were fine. We've had some drama with that vet in the barn, so this is no surprise, but his teeth were NOT fine at all. I had his teeth floated right at the one year mark after getting him, pretty much, and the vet that did it had me feel his teeth. It was like putting my hand in a shark's mouth. Every tooth had a sharp point. I was so mad!!! Of course, as soon as his teeth were done, he turned into a completely different horse under saddle. 

My coach and I have been working diligently to get Max and me ready to pair up. She's been working him almost every day and I have been riding almost every day, too! I switched to a great little lesson pony that jars you out of the saddle every stride. It was awesome! It really worked out my muscles and endurance. I learned to canter on that little guy. 

I was falling in love with that little pony... and then he went lame.  It wasn't my fault, although I was scared to death I had overridden him by coming by every day. Apparently he bruised his hoof a little bit while he was out frolicking. (which is kind of hard to image since he is the most sedate little bombproof pony) My coach was trying to figure out who I could ride so I didn't "lose it" while my lesson pony recovered, and then she said "You need to ride your own horse anyway! If you can ride Rusty, you can totally ride Max" 

I had a lesson back on my original lesson horse, and it was amazing. She's got this really smooth quality to her ride, and I felt like I was floating at every gait - walk - trot - and canter! My coach said "see! You can really ride now! You can't beat yourself up when you're riding Rusty, that's just silly. He's just a really bouncy hard pony to ride!" That made me feel a lot better. She told me that if I could ride bouncy Rusty that Max would feel easy after that! 

I walked Max around the ring the other day on my off lesson day. He was such a cute sweetheart. I realized just how curious he is. Usually you think of a horse spooking at something and running the other way, but with him it's like his curiosity draws him right back to it. 

Well, except for sunlight. 'cuz that stuff's gonna kill us all! My coach was riding him around the ring kind of late in the day, and he started getting scared of sunlight. It was hilarious. At one point, he thought the shadow from the fence was a rail he had to jump over. At another point, he thought the pool of sunlight was a river he had to wade through. He was so funny! By the end of it, he realized we weren't all in grave danger of being irradiated to death. 

So, anyways, my hubby was there in the ring with me while I walked Max around. He was watching videos on his cell phone, and one of our walk-bys the cell phone let out this screeching scream. Max flinched for a second and looked at it, so I walked him over to the cell phone and my hubby held it out. Max sniffed it and proceeded to try and eat it. We didn't let him do that, so he sniffed my hubby's shoe and tried to eat that. It was a really cool moment. He's so naturally curious and explorative, and it reminds me that he's only been alive for 7 years! There's so many things that are new to him. I don't plan on stopping and showing him every one of them, but it was cool to explore with him a little bit. 

I showed up to ride today after having a day off, where my coach rode him, and was greeted with a recount of his bratty demeanor in my absence. She said all his old bratty habits resurfaced on their ride. I was going into my ride on him thinking "oh great, I screwed him up!!!". I was ready for battle! I was going to learn to be more tough! Then I got on him and he was a perfect angel. He was even better than my walk on him the other day. He was relaxed and happy and did everything I told him to. 

My coach and I decided I would feel better trotting him around on the lunge line. Last time I tried to trot him, I feel forward and squeezed with my legs... and we had to use the fence as a stop. She hooked him up to the lunge line and told me to do my thing. It was amazing! After riding that bouncy little pony, he felt like a smooth pleasure horse. Of course, he's still a bouncy fancy lipizzan, but nothing like Rusty! We trotted both ways. She also had me work on my stopping, because he stops when I just think stop. If I do anything more than move my pinky, he skids to a halt. I thought that was just the bees knees. Then I had to work on not stopping, because he was kind of digging the concept of stopping and standing there while I loved on him.

So there it is! After months and months of self doubt and writing an endless stream of checks, I'm finally riding my own horse! One thing I learned along the way is there is no scrimping in the horse world. If I want to make progress, I just have to work more and write bigger checks. But... it's worth it in the end! Sooo worth it! 

Hopefully I will have videos and more updates soon.


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## Cherrij (Jan 30, 2013)

It is always amazing to read someone's trip to getting confident at riding. Makes me try to remember how in hell did I learn, because now, after all those years, I feel like I can ride almost any horse at some level, but none too well. And especially, starting to trot on bad ground with my completely green horse, whose trot is all mismatched due to ground and getting used to extra weight on his back, reminds me, how similar to learning to trot it is. It probably looks horrible from the side, even though after seeing a video my friend said it was looking very good, for so few rides on him. 

Everything comes with time, and I am sure, if you saw yourself a year ago, you would laugh all the issues off and be your confident self you are now, riding your own horse!!! It is a special feeling, isn't it?


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

I'll post more videos and pictures, as soon as I can bribe my husband into coming out to the money pit (stable) to take them while I ride.  I've had an impressive string of breakthroughs in my riding, lately! I haven't cantered Max yet, but I've learned to sit his trot, and I am starting to get him round and on the bit. 

I'll also be posting pictures and videos of the National Dressage Finals this weekend. I'm so psyched to go! 

I wanted to tell a funny story that happened tonight at the stable. I arrived during dinner/bedtime. As I walked by Max's stall, I saw it standing ajar and assumed he was still out playing with the boys. I walked past it and asked one of the working students if the barn owner would be in tonight, so I could give her my board check. Mid sentence, her jaw dropped open and she stared past me, and then asked "uhh is your horse supposed to be doing that?" I spun just in time to see Max, snuggled into his blanket, calmly zigzagging between stalls to clean out the feed buckets. The girl mucking out stalls dashed past us and yanked his head out of the bucket while we were all immobilized in fits of laughter. I mean, really, he had just come from his stall and walked into another, so I doubt he got more than a mouthful of feed out of the excursion; but, it was just soooo hilarious!!!


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## falling (Apr 13, 2014)

I absolutely love reading your journal! You write beautifully, and your horse just sounds like the cutest thing. For only having ridden for such a short amount of time, I think you ride rather beautifully!

I too am enjoying reading about your increase in confidence, and I'm glad you're back really having fun with your riding lessons


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

falling said:


> I absolutely love reading your journal! You write beautifully, and your horse just sounds like the cutest thing. For only having ridden for such a short amount of time, I think you ride rather beautifully!
> 
> I too am enjoying reading about your increase in confidence, and I'm glad you're back really having fun with your riding lessons


Aww thank you so much! I will be writing more, now that I feel like I am making enough progress to write about.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

It feels like the right time to start my journal up again. I've been making so much progress in my lessons. I want to keep a record so I can look back during times of miserable failure and see that progress has indeed been made, at some point. 

- - -

National Dressage Finals 2014 was amazing. I have been wanting to meet the United States Lipizzan Federation (USLF) crew in the most embarrassingly fan-girl sort of way. When I found out that not one, but two Lipizzans had qualified for the event, I was in fits of babbling happiness. 

The first horse and rider pair we saw were in the Adult Amateur First Level. This is their first place freestyle!  I pulled my trainer across the entire horsepark, from the Alltech arena nearly a mile away to the outdoor rings, to see them do their test. Along the way, I saw some people scooting that direction with USLF paraphernalia. I lost it; I started shouting "THE LIPIZZAN PEOPLE! OVER THERE!" My trainer looked almost embarrassed to be seen with me. "They're going to think your crazy!" she quieted me, in an amused tone of voice. Luckily for both of us, I have a soft voice, and they didn't notice my outburst. 

After they had tested, I shyly headed over to where horse and rider were conferring with the entire lipizzan entourage. They were being presented with the Adult Amateur high score cooler. I felt like I was meeting a rock star. "Excuse me...", I stammered, a few times until I was noticed; "I just wanted to say how beautiful you both looked out there, and how inspiring you are to me." The words dumbly fell from my unthinking mouth to the cold ground. I felt like a weird stalker. Luckily, they were all so nice and welcomed me into the group with Lipizzan camaraderie. They welcomed me back to the barn, and we all did a lot of hugging and talking. Hugging perfect strangers, just because we all have the same kind of horse. It sounds a little bizarre; but, it felt natural in the moment. 

In between watching the musical freestyles in the Alltech arena, and hustling to the outdoors to catch up on my new friend's events, I was wooed by a few vendors. 

I bought a breathtaking saddle pad to add to my "someday show" gear cache. It's black with different sized rhinestones on it, they look like twinkling stars in a night sky. It goes so beautifully with my bridle headband that I bought at last year's regionals. The headband is black leather with a tasteful line of rhinestones that go side to side across the middle. It's just the right amount of bling. 

I also fell in love with Stackhouse Saddles. Their saddles are so beautiful that I couldn't resist myself from begging to sit in one. Each saddle is handmade for the horse and rider. They don't even have samples, because every saddle they make has been pre ordered. Every saddle in their display was headed off to the buyer directly after the show. There was even a saddle that someone rode with in the show that very day on display. When I have 6k and my horse is more developed, I will be getting one of them! 

The other Lipizzan ride was a stallion from Tempel Lipizzans. He was 12 and doing Grand Prix. My newfound friends told me that he had been at Grand Prix since 8! He was very lovely, but I think maybe too tired to do his very best. 

I brought my camera to the show, but everything seemed so perfectly experienced in the moment. No pictures or videos I took would have captured the breathtaking grandeur I felt. 

- - -

I arrived back home with exponentially doubled enthusiasm for dressage riding. I felt on top of the world, ready to work hard and be at Nationals next year. 

While having my husband make a video of me riding, Maximas mistook a twitch from me to say "CANTER NOW!" He was so proud of himself, and enthusiastically gave me his sweetest, slowest canter. I unfortunately stiffened right up, throw my hands to the wind, and ended up bailing the canter train. I was so lucky to slowly slide more and more until gently plopping to the ground like a ball of manure. I want to put the video up here, but I feel like my shame would be lessened if I could put a good video up at the same time. 

I remember not being scared the entire time I was cantering in a slow, out of control, look at that idiot on that horse, sort of way. I was just losing myself to anxiety; the adrenaline was blocking off my logic brain and shoving my emotional brain into the saddle. I remember thinking to myself "well, that was a bad decision, that was a worse decision, I'm about to fall off, whoosh, yep I fell off". 

I remember the wind getting knocked out of me. I remember groggily rolling over on my belly and looking up at Maximas while he pranced on his feet in place. The look in his eyes. That "Uhhhhhhh. Why did you get off while I was running?" look. I squeezed out the words "slip the reins over his head and hold him for me" to my poor husband. Bless him, he doesn't know how to handle horses. He was standing in front of Maximas, holding a rein, while Maximas pranced and half reared in confusion. 

I scooped myself off the ground and wobbled around the ring while we cooled out. I started to have my husband lead him, but Maximas kept trying to scoot around him to be next to me. Our bond feels very special. 

- - -

The best part about my fall, was the "click" in my brain that followed my graceless landing. Something knocked into place. I knew I would never ride without full control at any point in the future. 

Since that click, I've learned to half halt Maximas to maintain a slow, beautifully feeling trot. Where before, we just ran around the ring as though each trying to escape the other; now, we are continually recollecting and balancing and dancing. 

- - -

Today's lesson was the first that didn't revolve around trotting a marathon. I'm finally steadying, finally being centered, finally in control. Today's lesson was about contact. It was about giving a little, and taking it back a little.

I can't quite explain what I learned. It's not exactly learned yet. It was the first day of collection class. It was about being supple as a rider, and moving fluidly with my horse. 

It feels so beautiful to dance with my Lipizzan partner. It feels like freedom to be in harmony with him. I know that whatever fluidity I felt today will seem like a locked up joke in a few years, after I have retrained my muscles and joints. For now it feels like I am finally starting to ride dressage. To trot and have my horse's head down and on the bit; to feel him trusting me with his sensitive mouth, is a gift of accomplishment. 

- - -

I also started Maximas on Smartpacks. The sales girls at the National Dressage Finals convinced me. Between colicare ($7500 colic insurance) and the unbelievable riding breeches that came as a sign up gift, I was hopelessly sold. They do have a 60 day money back satisfaction guarantee. I'm hoping it will make him an even happier, glossier, healthier horse. He is all of those things now, but it will be fun to see if he can be even more so. 

- - -

That catches me up! I'll work on those videos. I'm hoping to get an actual good one soon, one where I actually stay on the horse. Looking good at the same time is a plus!


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## DressageCowgirl (Apr 14, 2014)

I love your blog! It's such a beautiful story--I love hearing the tales of people who started riding as adults. Can't wait to see more videos of you and Maximus!


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*It's Spring!*

It's unfair that I haven't written in my journal since the "HEY GUYS I FELL OFF!" entry. Riding has been going beyond well since then. 

I wasn't able to ride for a long time because of the winter storms. After over three weeks off, I was happy to be still capable of catching, grooming, and mounting my horse. I still remember the first great struggle of horseback riding -- being able to pick out the horse hooves. I remember ranting to myself "I don't CARE if I EVER get off the lunge line, just let me learn how to make the **** horse pick up his foot and let me pick it out!" (huff puff) Not only was I able to do all of those complicated and potentially life threatening activities, I was also able to trot my wild stallion beast (bored, half asleep, tame from the warm weather teddy bear) !

Maximas deserves his own paragraph. He survived the extended stall confinement of wintery doom. A lot of his herd has been moved out of the pasture as boarders move out. He has a new best friend! Balume is a imported Dutch Warmblood that my trainer is going to show. It's so great that they get along, since it's probably going to be the four of us trailering to shows together. I will have to get some videos of them playing. I was at the stable the other day, and saw that the girl was going out to get Balume and Maximas. As soon as they saw her headed out, they started tearing around the pasture, kicking their legs out and twirling around like "WE'RE SO BAD! OH YEA! WE'RE THE BADDEST!" If they could have been high fiving and chest bumping they would have. 

The worst part about Maximas having a friend is that he loves to play. Every time I tack him up, there is a new scrape, or nick, or some other unsightly blemish to his otherwise heavenly grey coat. I'm not too worried about it at this point. 

Before I move on to my riding progress, I wanted to write about my amazing grandma. I had a rough childhood, and my mom did some pretty messed up stuff. One of those things was keep me isolated from my Dad's family. It wasn't until a couple years ago that I took a big leap against every fearful thing I had been brainwashed with against them when I had to go to my Dad's funeral. That's also when I was able to get into riding. He had taken care of me in his final moments and with that I was able to pay for a horse and get started with lessons. So his mom, my grandma, lives an hour and a half away from me. I took my husband and kids to visit with her last weekend. While I was there, out of nowhere, she told me that since she had never been allowed to buy me anything, she wanted to buy me my show outfit. (Minus the coat because my husband's mom and grandma are actually custom tailoring one for me!) 

Originally she said the boots and helmet, but when I checked back in with her on my shopping progress, she said to get my shirt and breeches and tie and gloves too. I'm still stunned. I'm half afraid that when I come back with everything I've picked, she'll fall over at the price tag, but she seemed pretty encouraging for me to spoil myself. I also want to pick, especially boots and helmet wise, things that will last so I always have her there with me in the show ring. 

I'm still shopping around and picking out things... so, more on that, later.

NOW... for the entire purpose of this journal... on to the riding! 

I'm able to ride Maximas on the bit, in frame, at least 3/4 of the time. There's moments of bobbling, and heads shooting up, but we recover and get back to correct form. It's a big difference in my riding. We went from both being locked up and feeding off of each other's hyper tension, to slowing down and moving with control and power. 

My position is horrible, but I'm learning to get the job done with Maximas. My trainer says that style comes later. I'm just happy that he's not running away with me the entire time, and I'm not torturing his mouth the entire time. 

We still haven't cantered, beyond the "HEY GUYS I FELL OFF!" Now that I can do a walk to trot transition without losing him, I'm starting to feel like the canter is going to happen soon. That's a good thing, because I really want to go to a show this year, especially once I get my snazzy show outfit all done!


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*A video!*

FINALLY! A video!  This wasn't our best ride, but it certainly was not our worst either!

https://youtu.be/Nb6VyELjRiY


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Man! Your horse is stunning!


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## lostastirrup (Jan 6, 2015)

Just read through all of this. I am so jealous of your darling Max! He is very cute. Good luck in your dressage dreams. You have the horse that can take you there.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*Trail Riiidddee!*

I had a really rough lesson on Monday. I've been over extending myself in my personal life, trying to please everyone, and the stress of all of my obligations refused to go away so I could get into "dressage space". After being tense and impatient with Max and utterly miserable, I went home and had a sit down with myself. I just couldn't keep on stressing myself out anymore. I cancelled as many obligations as I could and told myself to let other people handle their responsibilities. 

The rest of the week has been me playing horse hooky. I've been at the stable every day, riding by myself, and it's really paying off. I finally understand what it feels like to have my balance over my horse. Originally, I started off like a lot of beginners in the fetal riding position. That turned onto me trying to pull his head into my lap. Never mind that he has a long neck or anything! So now I'm straight up and down on his back, shoulders open, legs pushing his head forward into the bit (I still have to turn my thumb down to half halt and stuff and get him really on the bit), my hands just in front of the saddle (not freaking out, yanking backwards), and I've even started feeling his hind end engage. I'll have to get another video  

Soo anyway, my coach comes to me yesterday and says how about a trail ride tomorrow? I've only gotten to go on one trail ride so far, and that was on one of the ploddy trustworthy little lesson ponies. I was like.... onnn... Max? Sure! On Max! Wow, yea, I'll be there!

We started off warming up in the arena, because that's just what you do before a trail ride. She commented on how nice Max looked with his head down and us both loose and relaxed. There were even some puddles in the arena from the sprinkler that Max and I walked through. I could kind of hear his thought process in my head, working out the puddle. The first time we came up to it he just wanted to sniff the air and look at it real good, with both eyes, and then after that I went to the second puddle and walked him up one step at a time until his hoof was smack dab in the middle of the water. I know he walks through puddles in the field all the time, but we've never done one in the arena before. 

(I'm getting to the trail ride now, if anyone's still reading  ) 

I opened the arena gate from Max's back, which is also something I've never done before. He was so good, he side stepped right over to it and stood still while I unlatched the chain, and obediently backed up while the gate swung open in front of him. 

At first, Max and I were out front. Coach and I went back and forth on who should ride in front. On one hand, Max never spooks at anything unless another horse he can see does. Coach was riding a rehab horse that can get kind of full of himself. On the other hand, riding behind someone on my first time out on Max just seemed like a safer bet. 

I decided to tell her to go in front (added bonus, the horse and her got all the spiderwebs!) Right from the start, Max was a complete angel. I did some half halts and got him down and on the bit for the first part of the ride, just to make sure he was completely with me mentally. Once I was sure he was being a good horse and thinking about his rider, I let him put his head back into a normal over the bit kinda position so he could eyeball and sniff things. 

Once we got to the end of the pasture fence line, coach's horse started to get a little full of it. There's a couple houses and other distracting things in that spot that he just didn't really trust. Since Max was being such an angel, I volunteered to go ahead. That went ok for two steps until we got to a fork in the trail. Between the fork is a really juicy triangular patch of grass. He was hesitating and asking if he could just stop and munch on the grass for awhile. I know that's what it was, because there wasn't a tense muscle in his body, and his eyes, nose, and ears were on the grass. Since he wasn't going ahead without a question (which yea he should have) coach decided that just so my first ride out on Max was without any hiccups, she would get off rehab horse and walk in front of us the rest of the trail. 

Max was so great! We were walking in open fields, under huge power lines, in narrow paths through trees, everything. The only thing on his mind was what he could stuff into his mouth. (I didn't let him at this point!) I kept testing him at random intervals to make sure he would drop his head or stop when I asked nicely. I really noticed my balance and position improving the entire ride.

The last leg of the trail back is through trees. The trail's been there so long, and so well maintained, that it's this really cool tunnel now. He pretty much was in the coolest horse buffet ever. Slender branches with baby leaves just hanging out in front of his face. I let him get two mouthfuls before he turned it into a silly big deal by trying to tear a mouthful, not managing to tear it free, and turning his entire body to try again. After that he had to go on buffet probation. I made him ride the rest of the way back with his head down. 

Halfway through that I felt his hind end kick in and that was really cool. I'm pretty sure that's what it was, anyway. I felt his balance and push come from the hind end, and the entire rest of his body worked in harmony with that dynamic. If his head came up, I could feel that stop, so I'm pretty sure that's what it was.............. (crosses fingers) I've felt it happen increasingly over the past week. I like it because I feel like I'm steering his butt, and that's easier than trying to steer his head. I've decided that steering his head just doesn't work. 

Coach led her horse into the stable and left Max and I out in the open for a bit. The clean bedding pile is right there by the trail entrance/exit, under a tarp. Max was tugging at his bit a little, I could tell he wanted to get a better look at the tarp. I let him walk himself over to it and he just stood there, eyeing it with one eye, turning his head, eyeing it with the other eye. He put his nose down towards the tarp and sniffed it. Completely relaxed, just being curious. 

After letting him do that, I walked him back closer to the stable and dismounted right there. 

By the way, we walked the entire trail. I'm no thrill seeker! I'm going to keep working at it though, because everyone else canters and jumps on the trails and outings, so I need to be comfortable in case Max decides to catch up with the other horses. 

First trail ride on my wonder horse complete! Now that we've passed the at home test, I get to take him out this summer with everyone else to the mountains, and shows, and the cross country course.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

well done! I forget, being a trail rider 100%, how daunting trails can be to a newcomer. and, I tend to be in teh same trails, over and over again, meaning the horse's are used to it all. haven't done anything challenging for too long!


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*Second trail ride!*

Trail rides are so cool! 

I went to the stable in the middle of the day to work Max in the arena. When I got there, one of the working students was out on her friend's horse. I asked why she was on THAT horse? She said her friend was out of town and asked her to work her horses. I asked if she wanted to go out on the trail with me? and she said sure! 

The first trail ride that Max and I did, the other day, had been with his best horse buddy. This was a horse that lived in a completely different herd, but she is a very patient and gentle soul, and so is Max  

I hopped up on Max at the mounting block. The working student asked if I wanted to do stuff in the arena or just go straight to the trail. Yes! Trail! That! 

We started off following her and her horse, but Max has a much quicker walk and it was literally a struggle for HIM just to not crash into her. The student (who is a bit more carefree than my instructor, lol) suggested that I take Max in front. It was kind of one of those "hey, you cool, right?" "uhh YEA *gulp* TOTALLY *squeak* IM COOL MAN!" moments. 

Max was great out front. I let him have more of his head this time. There were times when the other horse was waayyy behind us and he just kept enjoying the ride with me. The only thing that got him to shoot his head in the air and SNUFF SNORT at was the pasture board horses. Because clearly... he's never seen a horse before! 

He was such a brave boy. He would go into turns where he couldn't tell what was ahead (with a little bit of clucking and LEG LEG LEG). Mainly he just wanted to eat things, again. I didn't let him go out of his way to do that, because it's just annoying. If he could open his mouth and catch something as he was walking straight ahead, it was fine tho. 

I even caught myself wanting to try a trot a time or two. And I daydreamed about when we could canter out there on the open stretches. It's just so nice to get out of the arena. When I put Max back in his stall, he looked so alert and happy. It's an awesome feeling when you know your horse had fun doing his job. :cowboy:


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

the more I read about Max, the more I like him!


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Wait until you have that first canter out there on the trail- it's a priceless feeling! Congrats on all your progress.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*Trotting without stirrups*

Last week was all horseback riding for me. I rode so much that Max pretty much told me in his polite way to leave him the hell alone for the weekend. I rode so much that I even asked my coach if I could hop on my old lesson pony after I was done with Max so I could work two horses instead of just one. 

I had some money hiccups so I couldn't have lessons all last week. It was all me figuring out this riding thing on my patient horsey. :cowboy:

Somewhere in the beginning of the week, I was riding around on Max with my coach in the arena on her dressage prospect, and I figured out how to post up in the saddle with my feet out of the stirrups. After giving it a few experimental strides, I asked my coach if she felt comfortable with me putting the stirrups up while she worked her horse. 
"Wellll have you done it before?" she asked hesitantly. 
"Yea! I'm doing it right now!" 
"Oh! Sure, go ahead!"

Followed by... an akward few minutes where I had no idea how to put the stirrups up. On the saddle? Surely not on his neck? Coach took pity on me and said it was his neck. 

Back in action! 

IT WAS AMAAZZZINNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG 

So much about balance and movement and relaxation made sense once I took the stirrups away. I learned how to not post so high. Whenever I post too high now with stirrups I know to just widen my hips and sink down around the horse. I had way better balance without stirrups than with them. With that improved balance, our lateral work "worked". 

We've been having problems going to the right. No stirrups, GONE. Shoulder ins? Perfect. Circles? Perfect. Leg yields? .... ok well we are still training level here, but they happened! lol. 

Since the magic stirrup free moment I've been riding with them up and down so I can get the balanced feeling with them down. 

I've also, just in the last two rides, gotten the feeling of staying upright when the horse is bending. I was sort of leaning into/reaching toward the bend with my arm and shoulder. I really started feeling how keeping my body upright helps the horse feel more solid and balanced under me and creates a nice bend around my leg. This is all stuff my coach has told me, but it takes actual miles for that stuff to make any sense. 

Oh and that lesson pony! He has the choppiest little pony trot. Guess who sat it! Yea that's right, me!!! Not that weird leaning forward bouncing sitting trot I was doing in the video, but a real sitting trot! (more real, since in another month I'll probably be scoffing at my riding now, lol!) 

I started to canter the pony, but the reality of working two horses in one day hit my lower back right at that moment. It was ok though, I just wanted to make sure I could get through the transition without having an emotional melt down. I had a pretty traumatic experience as a kid, involving a herd of half wild donkeys and mules, bareback with no bridle, and spooking, and woods, and hooves all around my head... Cantering seems to bring that up. But not this time! I was ready to go! All the riding without stirrups and riding in general this week really improved my security in the saddle. I feel like I'm actually ready to do a real canter, not just a hold on and pray canter. 

So this upcoming week my coach is going to hop on Max and smooth out his canter and transitions for me, and then Max and I are going to go wheeeeee cantering. 

:runninghorse2:

We're making so much progress together. Shows are looking like a real possibility, not just a shiny image in my thought bubbles! 

It's really weird because when the vet was out, she went to draw Max's blood for a coggins test, and I was like.... ummm why? 

Coach and all the other girls were like "because we're showing this season, silly! ANNDD going out to the mountains and to school at places!" 

I rolled my eyes "you guys have been saying that since I got here years ago, what's different about this year?"

"No, really! We are really going to do it!"

"So if I pay for this test you guys promise we are going to be out with our horses and showing and stuff?"

"Yes!"

"If you guys wimp out you owe me the money for this test!!!"

And now I'm the one out there riding every day and working towards showing and they areeeee........ out swimming? I dunno! 

Oh and I found the perfect piece of music for our one day freestyle. I'm hoarding it to myself though. It's a very hidden piece of music. I shared it with my coach and she was all sparkly eyed over it like I was.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*Coming back with gusto*

I haven't been able to ride regularly in over two months because of work and catching some kind of virus. UGH. Lucky for me, Max is practically a school pony and always remembers how to be a good boy when I can't ride for awhile.

During my time off I have tried to get as ready as I can for showing next year. I haven't registered with USEF/USDF yet because I don't know if I'll get sick/caught up in work AGAIN, but I have my applications pretty much ready to go! I memorized Training Level test 1 (super easy! besides the cantering my own pony part) and ...

Stretched out my boots! Last year, I was so lucky to have my grandma buy me a custom pair of Dehners. They arrived, so pretty and amazing, and (typically?) painfully tight around the calves. I had been trying to tough it out, but the pain was mind numbing. 

After much googling, I decided to try the rubbing alcohol and water mixture method. I put it in a old body spray bottle and sprayed a whole bottle inside and outside the calves. 

THEY ARE SO COMFORTABLE NOW!!! The leather seems completely unaffected quality wise. I am going to lather it in conditioner just to make sure. 

Tomorrow is my return to training. I am going to keep a detailed log of my progress from now on. This is the year we debut USDF, I am determined!!! This is the last year we know for sure that USDF Finals will be in KY, which is only 4 hours from my barn. I hope we get there!!!

:loveshower:


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

Aim for the moon and reach the stars.

I wasn't able to return to riding quite as soon as I had hoped. The weather was frigid, and my cough stuck around way past its welcome date. 

I returned to the stable yesterday. I woke up with a blah feeling and almost rolled around to go back to sleep, but the call of my horse riding passions overcame the blaahh. I put my gear on and went anyway! 

One of the other girls was tacking up her horse when I got there. She is on winter break from college. We rode together and made a verbal pact to ride together 6 days a week. Awesome!

Max was great in the arena. He feels much more secure when another horse is around after a break from work. We walked a lot. We walked the training level test 1. The other girl trotted, but she had been back riding for a week. After we rode, we made plans to come back the next day (today) for a trail ride.

The thought of a trail ride had me excited and a little apprehensive, as my riding instructor drilled into my head to have a horse firmly in work and be fit myself before hitting the trail. We just went on a trail on the farm though, so I figured it would be ok. That and the other girl's horse would be leading. 

Max did not like the other horse leading. He was up her butt constantly. If I tried to put on the brakes and hold him still he just started to jig. 

We got 3/4 of the way through the ride before the mare had enough of his shenanigans and started to jig too. I think it was a jig. In the dressage world that I have come to know and love I would describe their movements as passage half passes. It wasn't even scary, I was so enthralled with the beauty of those movements in their natural occurrence. Seeing a methodically executed test is nothing compared to an actual movement born of emotion. 

Still, I knew my horse was reaching his limit and I dismounted and walked us both back to the barn before he got kicked in the face. For not having ridden him on a regular basis in three months and going out on the trail just a day after coming back, I would give him an A-. 

I looked up his behavior when I got home. I saw a video on youtube that explained that his trying to rush to the lead every trail ride is a sign of insecurity. Him jigging is too. The cowboy did a lot of tight circles with the horse to get its attention when it started rushing or jigging. My riding instructor has it drilled into my head to not turn them in tight circles since it is bad for their back. I think he will be better on his next ride after a week of arena work, but if he continues his insecure ways I will seek out her professional help to build his confidence. 

I'm going to ride tomorrow morning! Yay for being back at the stable!!


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

Don't worry; I have been slightly more dedicated to my riding than I have been to my journal about riding. 

I missed Christmas eve and Christmas because of the holidays and everyone being sick during the holidays. I regretted missing Christmas eve, because I probably could have gone out and ridden. I couldn't have gone riding Christmas day because my husband was very sick and I wouldn't leave him alone like that! Thankfully, everyone has made a quick recovery, leaving me with no excuses to miss riding. 

I went to the barn yesterday just in time to ride during a group lesson. Not in the lesson, just in the arena while it was going. The students didn't seem too keen on the idea at first, but my riding instructor is really big on people learning to ride around other riders and horses. Also, I am very considerate to lessons in progress and keep my riding to whatever part of the arena they aren't using. I also tuck my horse in somewhere out of the way when it comes time to canter or jump. 

I was just happy that Max and I could ride with other people and horses, because he seems more comfortable that way after some time off. 

I focused on flexation at the walk, bending him around my leg, doing spirals in and out, going in straight lines, having him reach for the bit. We also did some sitting trot, which felt awesome! I did catch myself slipping into my old ways of fighting with his mouth, which I was mentally chastising myself for immediately. 

My riding instructor told me after that I looked really good, and she gave me some advice going forward. She said to just focus on us going forward and to not worry about our bend or contact. She said that would come to us without effort when we were both moving correctly.

My instructor and I were going to ride together today, but the insane amount of work it takes to keep a barn going got in the way of her riding her horse today. I went out to the barn and my other riding buddy was already on her horse! It turns out that her horse had thrown a rear shoe, so she wasn't up for much work. It was just going to be Max and I today.

I started with a good warm up ethic. I wanted both of us to be fully mobile and comfortable in each pace before moving on to anything else. I haven't ever really done that before. I know how important it is to build a good warm up base on every ride, though, so I wanted to start emphasizing that. Whereas before I would just walk around the ring both ways once and then start trotting, this time I did plenty of walking until I felt we were both loose and Max was snorting and flopping his ears forward. Then, I did some subtle flexation with him. 

This is where I had probably my biggest epiphany of the ride. Instead of thinking of "pulling" this or that way on the reins, I started holding the reins as delicately as I could, and moving my shoulder/elbow/whatever position. The hands moved with the corresponding body part, but they didn't become tense. They served as a kind of buffer between the movement and Max. That delicate tension, like holding a piece of wet spaghetti, was my hands job today. Making sure my shoulders were in the right position made him bend effortlessly. It was really awesome.

Once we were focused and relaxed and connected (though on a loose rein) I decided to try trotting. I wanted to do posting trot today. We started off just warming up at the trot, so it was kind of good and kind of bad. It was just to get us going. 

Once we warmed up though, and it didn't take much, I had the most magical trot. It was a trot I have had on him before, after my instructor has had him for a few rides to "get back into shape". My hands and his mouth were connected so delicately. It was like the reins in my hand were an afterthought, and the whole ride, all at once. I forced myself to focus on using my posting to control his tempo. By control, I don't mean obsessively control, just to keep us both steady and not racing around in some kind of panic (like we usually do). I was naturally upright and balanced through my center of gravity. The best part was that Max responded beautifully by stretching toward the bit and working through his whole body. 

It was just magic. I made sure we did it both ways, and some figures as well, and then got right off him and hand walked him while I gushed about him being THE BEST HORSE EVER!!!!

After that, we explored a ridge of fresh grass, and then I tucked him in with his hay and drove home in a happy fuzz. We are getting there!!


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

I've had two rides since my last entry. Both of them have been kind of good and kind of bad. Since my riding instructor gave me the "just trot!" talk, we've been experimenting with just trotting. There's been fighting with each other trotting, and relaxed la te ta trotting. 

Last ride I was able to really get him to move off my leg instead of relying on the reins so much. This ride I messed around with how I rode a little more. I did some sort of reining with him? To get him to turn right I would move the left rein up against his neck, and vice versa. He just chilled out the second I started. He did a little happy slow trot. If he sped up I would have him do one of those cowboy circles. My instructor was there and she didn't kill me. She even said we looked really good and were making progress! He was on a completely loose rein, flopping on his neck sort of thing. It was neat. Not dressage-y at all, but neat! 

The lady we were riding with today does competitive trail riding. It's something I have had an interest in since I devoured a rider journal on here about it. I had brought it up with my riding instructor before, but I ended up going a more ring oriented dressage sort of direction. I've always been curious about getting into it, though. Well this lady is very into it and she told me all about it, and I am more excited than ever! She is going to pass my information along to the organization. There is a conference in late February that she said I could go to to learn from the speakers and such. There is a ride in March and she said I might be able to trailer there with her. 

I still want to be a dressage diva with Max, but I really want to round out our experiences together. I feel like this would be a good way for us to get the miles together that we need at this point. We've been taking lessons in an arena for years now. We still need decades more lessons, but I think that *right now*, miles on the saddle would help us put all the little tips and techniques together. 

Plus, in the end, I'm not with my horse for prestige or medals. I'm on my horse because he is a cool little guy and I just want to hang out with him as much as I can.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

We have had three rides since my last entry. I think my instructor summed it up well when she observed " I think you are still fighting with yourself." 

I need to just let it flow. I can't force relaxation. It has to happen. My last ride was the best and worst in awhile. We got some moments of being together and focused, but then I think I overdid it. Max started acting up and walking through my leg to get to the gate and it was a fight from there. I guess I stayed on too long. My instructor also told me that all the horses at the stable have been naughty under saddle this week, though. Something to do with air pressure.

Anyway, we seem to be progressing on our own together. My instructor told me I just need to keep riding by myself and working it out. She has told me the same things for months worth of lessons, so its just a matter of working through the backlog of knowledge.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

I gave Max the best ride of my life today. I tried to focus completely on helping him to be successful. 

I started with my obligatory two carrots, one to catch him in the field, one after he is in the cross ties I gave him a peppermint with his bit, since he has been kind of sour about being bitted lately. We had gone through a phase where I wasn't treating him because I thought it was making him a brat, but I really really really don't get the feeling that he is trying to be a brat in any way. He has been much more loving with the new carrot ration, too. He walks up to the gate when I go to catch him. He's always nuzzling and making eyes at me. I know it's a lot of him just acting cute to get treats, but it's better than sideways glares.

I hand walked him with his quarter sheet on to warm him up. By the time I got on him, he was ready to trot. I wanted to take it slow, though, and work on our focus. I focused on half halts to make him focus on me. It worked wonderfully, and it made me more aware of how all his "bratty" moves are simply reactions to my mistakes. 

Mistake 1: Not half halting enough. I have to half halt to prepare him for any change, from transitions, to bending, anything and everything. I have to half halt him every few strides to re organize us. I KNEW that before, but I wasn't doing it . When he decides he wants to randomly change direction or walk through my leg, it's always after I've gone too long without a half halt!

Mistake 2: Not staying connected between my hand and legs. It does go along with the half halt mistake, but I noticed that sometimes I would focus on a part of my body, and he would veer off in an undesired direction as a result of me loosing contact on a rein, or on a leg. If a part of me disappears from his radar, he gets thrown off and reacts accordingly.

Mistake 3: Not staying with him in transitions. This goes along with the hand and leg. I have to focus painfully hard (because it's new) to stay connected with him through transitions. I can't mentally jump ahead into the trot, because one or all of my contact points could disappear from him, and there's no pretty way to get that back. If I stay connected with him through our transition, I keep control of every aspect of his movement. He wants to stay connected to me, he wants to know what he should do. 

Mistake 4: I can not react to him. The second I react to him, I lose my connection with him. If he is trotting too fast, I can't react by pulling on the reins. It's not going to get our connection back. He trotted too fast as a result of me losing connection in the first place. I CAN regain our connection with half halts and feeling our connection again so I can get back on top of it. It's easier to just keep connected in the first place. 

Our connection is everything, hands, seat, legs. 

So the reason our ride was so wonderful is because he started the whole thing with a completely wintery attitude. Skittering, walking through aids, dragging me to the gate, all of it. As I felt out the right buttons to push, he transformed into a quiet, focused, relaxed mount. 

He wants to be good! He wants me to be connected and be the driver. 

We did a lot of trotting, bending, and walk - trot - walk transitions. We rode a long time, at least an hour and a half. I gave him a lot of free walk breaks during our ride. Nearly everyone was at the barn riding together in the outdoor arena, and our riding instructor was playing dressage music for us all to play with. I laid claim to one of the songs for my freestyle.

What ended the ride was this amazing walk-trot transition, followed through with a dreamy trot. I put every ounce of what I had learned into staying connected with him through the transition, and my body mystically followed through with a perfect sitting trot with my core absorbing all the movement, and Max responded by being completely attuned to me and giving me this light, prancy, breathtaking trot... (this sentence is so grammatically incorrect, sorry) ... and arching his neck into a heavenly position, with his mouth soooo lightly following my hands. Oh my god it was like ... just... amazing. My riding instructor was all over it!!!

We also almost cantered today. We did kind of for a few "CAN I CANTER PLEASE?" steps, but I said "no no, not now", and he said "oh ok"

I scheduled a lesson for next week. I'm going to keep working him with these principles until lesson day. I'm hoping to get the canter out of the way next week in my lesson. The challenge is staying as focused and connected as I need to be during the canter to keep him with me. 

LASTLY I have to squee about my birthday!!! Everyone gave me money for horse stuff! I ordered a new bit (to replace the one we are borrowing, that's a little too big) and a micklem bridle, and sport boots for Max, and my dressage show jacket. WHEW. I am GOOD on horse stuff for awhile. Now I can just save up for my verhan saddle that I want custom made, when Max is developed enough.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

ten likes! ok, twelve.


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## Tazzie (Nov 8, 2011)

What a fun journal! It was so much fun reading it! Max sounds like an absolute gem, and I love hearing how it feels to begin! It's been over a decade since I was a beginner, and I've forgotten all about the struggling to post, etc! You are a lovely writer and I look forward to more journal entries!


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## MrsKD14 (Dec 11, 2015)

I absolutely love your journal. Just saying! 


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

ditto. good stuff.


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## MrsKD14 (Dec 11, 2015)

Just wanted to chime in and say that today while I was working with my guy, several things you have said kept coming to mind. I love how open you have been with how you feel riding in front of people. Let's me know I'm not alone I feeling like that. 

We too are working on balance and collection (even though we are just trail riders I feel like it's still very important) and your "wet spaghetti noodle" was perfect! Lol. Even my second pair of eyes/trainer/friend/whatever you want to call her said that we looked great today. 


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

I didn't ride yesterday. Guess what day was 65 degrees with blue skies? Yeah. Yesterday. I wanted to ride, but hubby was shuttled off to help his mom with something, so I got to have a lazy day with my kids instead. Today, the skies were back to a drizzling 40 degree winter waterland. It's ok though, because I have plenty of layers to dress in.

Also, riding in the brisk and wet weather gives me even more opportunities to learn how to deal with my charming snowflake of a gelding. You know how yesterday I was raving about how not a brat he was? Well, apparently I offended his honor. 

Today, he was on a mission to claim his brat title back. See, awhile back, we had an incident where he decided that I sucked so bad that he was never ever going to be ridden ever, EVER again. It took like three weeks with my trainer to get him back under saddle. Ever since then, I have had to really work on taking all my emotion out of the saddle. I've also been wary of correcting him, since one wrong move can set him off on a diva strike. He was testing me to the moon and back today. He was walking off in whatever direction he wanted, trying to open the gate to get out of the ring, trying for slaughterhouse horse of the year. 

I was keeping my cool, working with half halts and increasing aid pressure. It would get him to focus for five minutes at a time, but he kept reverting to a winter airhead. I knew that I had to ride it out. 

Ah yes, and during the rodeo, the neighbor shot off his gun! We're talking right next to the fence. WHEEEEEEEEEEE! I let loose some unprofessional language that I had to apologize to my riding instructor for, later. She's the one that had to deal with him most of the time. But, I mean really, who shoots off a gun fifteen feet from a skittering brat horse? Ugh!

My riding instructor came back, as the sun was setting on our disaster ride. I let her know that Max was being a complete jerk. "What's he doing?" she inquired. "I'll show you", I muttered as I let loose from our stand off style halt. Max swaggered right over to the gate and chomped his teeth down on it. "Ohhhhh no" she tutted, "snatch him right now!" I had been waiting for permission for quite awhile, and I gave him a prompt, yet humane, snatch. "Snatch him again" she recommended. Snatch! "Now try!" 

GUESS WHO WAS A COMPLETE ANGEL FROM THAT POINT ON??? Yea. Snowflake Butthead Diva Jerk....

I had to snatch him about four more times. I know I'm a bit vindictive in my writing, but I assure you that I kept my cool the entire ride (well, I let the neighbor have an earful) ... towards my horse... 

Today I learned the valuable balance of discipline. When I know for a fact that my aids are clear, and he is gleefully ignoring them, it's ok to give a little reminder that - hey. Airhead, I'm talking to you. 

It gives me more confidence now that I know that I can correct Max without it turning into a bunch of hurt horse feelings. He doesn't need it often, but when he does, I know how to do it correctly.

I got my show jacket in the mail today and it looks awesome! I am going to dress up and take a picture in my awesome show gear. I'll post it when I get around to that, hah.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

MrsKD14 said:


> Just wanted to chime in and say that today while I was working with my guy, several things you have said kept coming to mind. I love how open you have been with how you feel riding in front of people. Let's me know I'm not alone I feeling like that.
> 
> We too are working on balance and collection (even though we are just trail riders I feel like it's still very important) and your "wet spaghetti noodle" was perfect! Lol. Even my second pair of eyes/trainer/friend/whatever you want to call her said that we looked great today.


Thank you! It is really flattering that my experiences can help other people!


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

I got to the barn too early so Max is getting a pre ride snack .


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*The Sore Magician*

I am soooooooooooo sore!

I think I posted correctly, for the first time ever, because I was clearly able to direct the tempo of our trrRRRRRoT at the expense of my muscles. Instead of rhythmically flopping down into the saddle and getting bounced up, I got bounced up and settled into the saddle with PAINFUL muscle engagement and control along the way. Max thoroughly enjoyed my newfound self torture and gave me the slooooowww e s t collected trot I have ever had with him and spaghetti noodle contact. 

After a few rounds of that, I figured my muscles couldn't take much more, and moved on to sitting trot practice. 

I have to add that the past two days of trying-my-patience-to-the-Maximas paid off beautifully. I have officially mastered the art of wrist-flick-snatchette and can nip his snarkiness right in the snar-.

Remember how I have been having magic trots with Max, the past week? This was a trot moment. The magic was there, but it wasn't one that seemed like the heavens were opening and blessing me with a special gift. Instead, it felt regular and purposeful. I half halted to give him plenty of heads up on everything. I focused on staying connected with a silken thread tension at hands, seat, and leg. 

Our sitting trot felt like we were WORKING. This wasn't an accidental "oh wow!"; nay, this was a "we are doing this". It was as if I had turned into a magician that could summon magic moments at any time, instead of a magician's apprentice that got lucky once in awhile. 

I was able to half halt him during our sitting trots. The movement stayed contained in my hips. I could drive him whichever way I intended with my legs. It was awesome!

My instructor was teaching another lesson and asked if I was wanting to canter, and I told her that was what I had planned for our Tuesday lesson. She also gave me an impressed "Nice, Eve" murmur as I paraded our magician trot in front of her. 

Today was the first ride that I knew I would be ready for shows this year. I had been hoping I would be able to be ready, and trusting that I would be prepared in time with enough practice. I know I need a TON MORE PRACTICE, but the magic is now there and in my grasp. 

My riding instructor found out that they moved National Finals to Illinois, from Kentucky, this year. I honestly don't know if I could qualify for Nationals in the first place, so I'm not too bummed. I really would like to get that high point breed sheet, but I know that I will get many of those as the years pass, so it's O.K.! I am still aiming to qualify for and compete at Regionals. It's held in Georgia at the Olympic Horse Park, which is lovely and grand in enough itself. It will be a real honor to show off my best horse friend there as a climax to our first competition season ever.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

Winter has taught me a valuable lesson - get out to the stable, no matter what the roads or skies or temperature is like. I lost two weeks of riding because I didn't go out for a week during the snowstorm, and then my horse had to be trained for the following week to get the heebie jeebies out of his system. URGH. I type this now as I look out the window at vertical winds. 

I did get out and ride yesterday. My horse was awesome. AWESOME! He's been cantering in the chambone for a week of training. He kept his lightness on the bit that we had before winter got in the way of our training. I sitting trotted all the way around our large jumping arena without a single bit of tension or attitude. 

I used my birthday money earlier this month to get some horse goodies. I got a micklem bridle, a myler stage 2 bit and fleece lined brushing boots. Did I post about that already? 

I also attacked my saddle with a brush and soap awhile back. It turned from a beaten up looking hand me down into a sleek, velveteen suede beauty. I'm definitely going to stick with this saddle instead of spending 4k+ on some new fandangled shishi toy. 

Today was the first day I really got to ride Max in his Micklem bridle and new stage 2 myler bit. To be honest, I wasn't really expecting anything different. I figured I was just spending money to get the latest fad and my horse would just roll his eyes and do what he normally does. I had a TOTALLY different feel with the new tack!!! I hooked up the micklem option bit - to - noseband clip, which keeps the bit from smashing around inside his mouth. He has always been a little diva when it comes to putting anything on his face and in his mouth. Flashback to two years ago when we tried the "yes ma'am" bit on him and found out that it was in fact the "no way nuhun never ma'am" bit. We even had to put him in a martingale because of his head tossing. Riding him was a constant yank this way, then that way, then suck in past the vertical...

Anyways, none of that anymore. He FEELS so relaxed in his new tack. He stretches out to rest into it and stays there. No more tossing his head here and there, nope, just a very simple flowing synergy. Like I said, I wasn't expecting there to be any difference, but oh boy there sure turned out to be a big one!

I bought the cob size because the reviews said it had much better leather. I do love the leather! It just fits him on the biggest setting. I was kind of bummed that my friends couldn't try it on their "normal" sized horses, but hey, it looks great and it fits and ... it works! YESSS! 

I feel so much safer riding him in the new tack because he isn't fussing constantly. Now I just need to get out and ride more ... despite the weather...


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

pictures? I am curioius how it is rigged.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

Hubby filmed my lesson today ! I'll put up the good parts later. For now, here is a picture of the schmancy micklem bridle.


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

This journal has been closed due to prolonged lack of participation by the author. Journals that have no active participation by the author for a period of time greater than 18 months will be considered abandoned and will be closed until the author asks for them to be reopened.


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