# frustrated and confused - advice please!!



## Customcanines (Jun 17, 2012)

Background: I was a typical horse crazy kid who was lucky to have parents that supported my addiction. I rode and showed jumpers on the national circuit and loved every minute. When I got married, for reasons I won't go into, riding and horses came to a halt. The ache sowly went away and I found new interests and resigned myself to never having a horse again. :-(

Fast forward 40 years - My daughter unexpectedly purchased a small horse farm As soon as I walked into the barn, I felt like I was home. I HAD to ahve a horse. After several months of talking (and sometimes throwing temper tantrums) I finally got my horse; a beautiful 2 year old palomino quarter horse. She is beautifully ground trained and is willing, kind, and calm. I couldn't wait to turn her into my perfect horse (trail riding only now, LOL) 

I had one month of heaven, then I startd to lose sensations in my hands, then feet. I won't bore you with the details, but after a million tests (there goes my arena) I was diagnose with chronc Guiillan Barre. I am now using a walker and don't have the strength or stability to ride a horse.

My husband says we can still keep her, but he will ride her only about 1 -2 days a week, and although he has good hands and a good seat, he doesn't have formal triaing. He won't hurt her, but she won't be taught anything about flexing, collection, etc. She is out in pasture all day with other horses, and in a barn at night. My daughter grooms her and fusses with her, but I kep thinking it's noty fair to Nibbles.:-|

My prognosis is unknown. I could get better over a few months or a few year and be able to ride, buty will probably always have relapses. I know I shouold probably let someone have her who can let jer liuveup to her potential, but I just CAN'T let her go. Am I wrong? She and the possiblity of riding her again is about the only thing keeping me trying to get up in the morning and get better, but I don't want to be unfair to her, either/ Thanks for any input.


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## Customcanines (Jun 17, 2012)

*Pictures of Nibbles ( they didn't come through on above post*


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## Customcanines (Jun 17, 2012)

Sorry about all the typos in the above post - it took me almost 3 hours to type it _-_I can't move my fingers and it's like typing in mittens!!


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## soenjer55 (Dec 4, 2011)

I am so sorry to hear this, and I will be praying for you. Don't give up, and don't feel bad- a horse would rather have someone who loves them truly than learn how to collect. God bless you.
Also, is it possible to have someone else ride her, like your daughter? I'm sure there's someone out there who would love to ride her until you can again. Maybe a lease?


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Oh my goodness  Have they figured out a way to treat your case? 

I found this site for you http://www.gbs-cidp.org/


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Just to add, she's probably very happy to ride with you and to sit around and be a horse. She doesn't care about her potential Horses aren't just sport, they're companions too.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Why not see if you can find someone who specializes in training horses for differently-abled riders? There are riders out there with no ARMS, so surely there's a way for you and your horse to be taught.

Does anyone remember the name of that armless European girl who grooms and tacks up using her legs and feet? She had an amazing youtube video of herself.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

I had a friend who came back from Guiillan Barre, hers was acute though.

Your beautiful girl is only young and nothing will be wasted if she just hangs out for a while now,so just keep her and do what you can with her, even if it just admiring her, and visualizing yourself riding her again. 

I would maybe let hubby ride her sometimes, if he isn't going to hurt anything, then don't worry about her lack of development, plenty of time for that later.

In a little while you may want to send her out to a trainer, because either you will be recovering, and thinking of riding again, and you will want her to be going nicely when you ride.

Or, it maybe that you decide that you wont be riding again, but still it will be worth a trainer putting some hours on her to help her sale value and her chances of getting a good home.

For now though, keep her, she is fulfilling her potential to you if she gives you the inspiration to fight and keep fighting.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

I'm sorry to hear about your illness. Those sorts of things are pretty scary.

As for the horse...my horses would consider this a description of heaven: "She is out in pasture all day with other horses, and in a barn at night. My daughter grooms her and fusses with her..."

My 3 horses live in a dirt corral. They seem to enjoy getting out, but if they were in a pasture? Good Lord! I'd have to rope them to catch them. :wink: My little 'if it is green, it is food' mustang? I'd have to toss HIM over my shoulder and carry him out!


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## Customcanines (Jun 17, 2012)

My daughter can ride the horse a little, but she just puchased her own horse who needs lots of work, plus my daughter is a beginner. I really don't want to lease her asI want to have control and I would die if she got hurt or ruined by someone else who i allowed to ride her. My problem riding rightnow isn't being able to guide her - I know I can do that. My problem is with balance. I could stay on if she walked, but I would have no hope of staying on a spook or a buck (and what 2 year old doesn't do that occasionally?) ALso, getting on/off would be almost impossible. My legs are almost useless from the knee down, and my arms don't have the strength to help me on/off. Sigh. I guess I'll wait for a while and hope my strength gets better. The Dr thought I was nuts when he told me the prognosis and all I asked was "Can I stlll ride?"


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## Prinella (Jul 12, 2011)

I believe there are very few horses in this world that NEED a 'job'. 

I wouldn't worry about wasting her potential. If hubby can ride her let him go ahead. Enjoy your horse however you can. 

Now I know nothing about your condition except from what you've said 

Meantime could you look at sourcing a quiet horse to plod on. Something short and stocky preferably, even if it's just to keep your muscles used to it. Like a thereputic riding school sort of thing.

Or could you look at groundwork. My boss used to teach a girl (about 19) how to work her Arab from her scooter so there are options.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Red Gate Farm (Aug 28, 2011)

Have you thought about having her trained to pull a buggy? Then you AND hubby can go out with her together and you can drive her, still use her. Plus, your hubby will be there in case something happens.


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## Customcanines (Jun 17, 2012)

Thanks all of you for yor suggestions. I will somehow manage to work her at SOMETHING! One of my main concerns is there is no flat area to ride around my daughters - it is ALL ttrail riding. SHe is VERY good, and I have no issues with thatT, but I am afraid if I DO fall off, how in the world would I get back into the saddle I wouldn't ride alone,but with my lower legs and my arms pretty useless it would be almost ipossible, even with someone helping me. I was thinking of sking this question on the general riding forum and see if anyuone had any ideas.


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

First off, I am so very sorry to hear that your health took a bad turn just as you were able to achieve your dream - how disheartening. You will be in my thoughts... I hope it's a short episode and that you're on the road to recovery and back in the saddle again soon.

Secondly... if you fought this hard to get her, don't give her up. She won't care if she's stuck out in a field for a few years, even - caveat of course being that she has to have regular farrier work, deworming and vaccines - but she won't care if she's not ridden on a regular basis or at all. She's very young - to be honest, I'd really just let her learn to be a horse for a year or two. (I personally prefer to not even ride a horse till 3, or if they're slow developers I have no issue waiting till the age of 4.) If it comes down to it, let her grow up a bit and then bring her back under saddle with the help of a trainer in a year or two when (when, not if  power of positive thinking!) you're feeling better. 
If you want her to be kept in work under saddle from here on in, though, shorter rides a couple times a week is best - she's very young and doesn't need much work right now; she's still growing and maturing, she doesn't need much work, if any at all.

Edited to add: 
Have you considered getting her broken to cart? Could you handle her from a cart at all, or at least be able to be in the cart with someone else driving? It's not a short-term solution, but perhaps a more long-term goal?


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## Customcanines (Jun 17, 2012)

Thanks so much for all of the advice, I think I have decided to keep her, becasue as you pointed out, she's still young. I also want you to k now I don't work her hqrd. i take her out for a short trail ride 1-2 X a week (always at a walk.) She LOVES her trail rides and actually wants to turn around and go back out most times we get to the barn. A couple of times a week i would just work on ground work, like ground tying or voice commands. I would sometimes ride her in front 0f the barn and work on stopping, backing, turning, etc. She LOVED those sessions, and would come running when I got there. She is always so willing to learn and to work. That is what I meant by wasting her. I don't want her to lose that attitude by keeing her in the pasture. Hopefully she'll stay as sweet and wiling as she is now. Wish me luck! ALso, cart training is not out of the question. My daughtger's neighbor has many acarts and buggys and drives her horses. Maybe she will be wiling to teach me. Thanks again for the advice!


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

She is a beautiful little mare & you have some good suggestions here. I like the cart idea-hubby could be with you & the horse has a job. She sounds like a very willing girl,do hope things work out for you. Sending prayers & healing vibes to you.


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## gypsygirl (Oct 15, 2009)

is there a therapeutic riding center in your area ? you might be able to go there with her and have them help you teach her some skills to help you. they could also help you learn to ride now that you have less use of your hands and legs.

sorry you are going through this =[ your horse will help you get through it though, dont give up on her !


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

You don't have to ride to enjoy your horse, they are amazingly therapeutic if all you are doing is standing next to them with your head buried in a mane, crying your **** eyes out, they are part of your life, and your healing.

Having a goal to aim for is important, and it can be as simple as being able to groom her, then it works.

You have no idea what your future looks like, but she will always be able to lift your spirits.


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## Customcanines (Jun 17, 2012)

Good news! I have had tons of intensive (and expensive - like $8000.00 a bottle:shock: ) medication, and I can WALK! Of course i have already managed to get on Nibbles and managed to stay on! LOL. I will need treatment probably once a month, and I still have issues with balance and coordination, but I can ride, and that is the main thing. My main problem now is I have chronic fatigue and will probably always have it. It's hard to get enough energy to even get out of bed, let alone work and ride, but I'm forcing myself. Heat, stress, and fatigue make my condition 
MUCH worse (like not being able to walk), so my Dr said to totally avoid those things - DOes he live in the real world?????:lol: Anway, the Dr said to expect relapses, but as long as I know theyat I will get better, I'm OK. Thanks for the support!


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## Jewelsb (May 8, 2012)

Keep her! If she's is your motivation to get better then most defiantly keep her. She won't mind not being ridden constantly, but you will stay happy with her.
I hope you see more Improvement


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## Celeste (Jul 3, 2011)

If it is indeed Guiillan Barre, it may be very likely that you will get over it. If it is another neurological problem such as MS or myesthenia gravis, there are good treatments that will get you back on your feet. Don't give up yet. You might want to consider getting another opinion or three if you don't get completely better. I am glad that you are getting better.


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## Walkamile (Dec 29, 2008)

Customcanines said:


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Sorry you are going through all this. Nibbles is a beautiful girl!

Glad you are going to keep her, because look at the joy on your face. That kinda "good feeling" is priceless and you will need as much of that as you can get to get through the tough hurdles ahead.

Keeping you in my prayers.


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## calicokatt (Mar 5, 2012)

I can't imagine a more important 'potential' for any horse than being the one thing that gets someone up in the morning, makes them smile, and gives them the will to live, and a reason to enjoy that life. Nothing else that any horse could ever do even comes close to that! Enjoy her, and best wishes for the two of you.


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## Customcanines (Jun 17, 2012)

Actually, Celeste, it is CIDP, but the common term is chronic Guillan Barre. There is no cure, and I will have it the rest of my life, but there will be ups and downs. As I told my poor neurologist "I don't care if I can walk, as long as I can ride, I"M FINE!"

THanks you and all of the others for your good wishes!!!


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## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

I'm very sorry you're going through this, it has to be tough.

Remember that horses don't have self-imposed expectations to live up to. They are perfectly content grazing all day and being fussed over by their owners. You're doing no disservice to her in keeping her. Sure, she won't learn collection or flexion or subtle leg yields, but what does it matter to her? If you're happy with her, keep her.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Can you find a way to talk with other riders with disabiliites? They may have some intriqueing suggestions on how to get around some of the limits you have.

Also, Nbbles is gorgeous, and though she may not be developed as a riding horse to her full potential, I doubt she feels that her life is less valuable or interesting living it as your "pet". All that matters is stability, companionship and lots of good food.

Come to think of it , that's what matters to me! especially the good food part!


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## Centaurheart (Jul 9, 2012)

Keep her! Give her a forever home regardless of your state of health. Once she leaves you then you have zero control over her health and happiness. As someone who follows rescue work closely, there's no guarantees in a horses' life that a good situation will stay a good situation when you move a horse on.

Nibbles has a far better life with you than most horses and if you ask her, I bet she'd beg you to let her stay.


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

Glad to hear the news that you are improving & have been able to ride a bit. That is wonderful! She sounds like a great little horse & just perfect for you-so enjoy!


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## With Grace (Oct 20, 2011)

Customcanines - I am so glad to hear you are keeping your girl. I also am a horse owner with a chronic debilitating disease. About four days a month I can barely move, and it's those days I tell myself "get your **** out of bed and go live!" I don't ride on those days, actually I can barely hold a lunge line on those days. So I groom as much as I can and then free lunge. Makes me feel good to move and gets my horse working. My horse is probably the reason I'm more positive about life than even before I was diagnosed.

I visit some sites that are supportive about riders with disabilities. PM me if you would like me to share them with you!


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