# "Does Your Horse Love You?"



## Citrus (Feb 26, 2010)

Horses are perfect the way they are... and I still want to believe that my horse loves me. He recognizes when we drive up, he waits at the gate, he lets out his "boy stuff" when we groom him, and puts on his grain ears when we give him his blue bucket..... he loves us, in his way, but it is love still the same.


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

JustDressageIt said:


> *Does Your Horse Love You?*
> 
> 
> *by Randy Byers *
> ...


This is a great piece. I obviously highlighted the portions that I strongly, strongly agree with.


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Agreed. Glad you posted this, Allie. I, too, like to think that my horses (most of them anyway) love me. However, I recognize that what I have labeled as 'love' is nothing more than their respect for me and recognition of me as alpha mare and then natural loyalty they have for their respected alpha. I have been in several situations where it seemed the horse 'saved' me, but it is important for us to recognize that the horse was actually saving itself and we were just lucky enough to stick with them when it happened.


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## Marlea Warlea (Apr 27, 2010)

i still believe my horse loves me, she licks my face when i cry, and my friends horse bit a guy who nearly attacked her!!


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

I would like to note that I DO in fact think animals can bond with people, and have a sort of love towards people .. but it isn`t HUMAN love. If it came down to me or them, I have no doubt it would be them. It isn't love in the human sense - willing to give one's life up for another - but I have no doubt at all that there is some sort of affection/bond between some people and some animals.


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## Hlover (Apr 17, 2011)

Well done and very thought provoking it is very important people not stick their horses with presumed human emotions...still though a horses love in their own way can be an amazing thing.
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## christabelle (Feb 13, 2011)

I saw a mustang mare die in my yard, (I think she may have been hit by a car, and managed to walk a ways before death...). The heard stallion was obviously upset. He tugged on her ears with his mouth, pulled her head up... But it just flopped down again. Then he laid down next to her for quite a while. It was a sad thing, the people who came to get her body had a time chasing him off. It made me rethink what people think they know about Animal emotion. I am jist going to say that I don't know. And I have my doubts that anyone does for sure. However I think my horses feel a type of love for eachother and me.
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## Horsesdontlie (Mar 11, 2011)

Man I love this. I have yet to see a horse that loves its person (in a horse love way) Sure the is the enjoyment of company which I always achieve for but in the end I don't expect my horse to 'love' me. Though I would love to think he does. The only case I would believe that a horse loves its owner is if it gets distressed when the owner is not around. True horse buddies that are friends often get upset when separated, even in a large herd of horses. Or the stories you hear of depressed horses after the death of a 'friend horse'. I am 100% sure that Jake would be 100% fine if I permanently disappeared. Its the fact.

Do I believe in a bond and general friendship? Sure. When I have all the horses turned out in pasture if I go into the pasture Jake will perk up his ears, walk over to me and hang out with me for a good 20 minutes, normally dragging the other two ponies with him. If he wants to go look at something else, he'll wander off and come back in a little while to see what I'm doing and sometimes will nap by where I'm sitting. That horse (despite our many many problems and arguments under saddle) tries his hardest for me, he has never said no. If I asked him to step off a cliff he would, fire? No problem. But he wouldn't have any problems if I never showed up at the stables again and someone took my place. I can't say he would react in the same way though.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

The part where I feel the need to disagree is this idea that Natural Horsemanship is all about creating a touchy feely relationship with your horse.

What I have learned from my teacher is that it's about two way communication with your horse. It's about helping your horse feel as comfortable as possible while working with humans. It's about striking a fair bargain with the animal that you'll show him in ways he can understand that he can find peace by followoing your clear direction, thus the need for the two way communication.. It's not about making him love you, be like you or having him call the shots. It's not about being "nice" to him or bribing him to play games.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I had a horse as a teenage that did love me. There were times when I should have fallen off, and she shifted her weight and saved my stupid rear. She did many many things to show me all the time that she did love me. However our bond was rare, I doubt I will find it again in my lifetime, sadly. 

Every horse I have had since (some after some work) respect me, but they don't love me.


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## Wallaby (Jul 13, 2008)

I thoroughly agree that it is very easy to get caught up in the idea of a horse "loving" you in a human sense.
Personally, I'm pretty sure that Lacey loves me. Not in an entirely human sense, but at the same time, I'm pretty sure she's smarter than me therefore she's probably loving me in a way that I can have no comprehension of. And even if she's not smarter than me, I feel like it's highly likely that she loves (or whatever you want to call it) me in a way I really have no capacity to understand. 
I really don't know how to describe it, but when I'm not around (or when I have to leave her under the care of someone else for a time), she's a veeeerrrrry stand-offish mare. She won't take carrots/treats from anyone, even people she knows. She's very spooky, just generally freaky and about as responsive as a brick wall. Even my hoof trimmer (who Lacey seems to really like) can't catch and trim Lacey without me being around. She tried once (I was gonna be busy, she offered to do it on her own etc) and called me 10 minutes in saying that she needed me there or the trim couldn't happen. 
But when I am there, Lacey loves everyone. She'll take any offered (and un-offered) food, she shows off, she's brave as all get out, she's personable and charismatic, and she's responsive as heck. 
She's saved my rear more times than I can count (haven't fallen off of her yet) and she seems to "talk" to me (somehow she can tell me exactly what she needs...like, she has literally been able to make me understand that she wanted her fly mask on a day when her flymask was the last thing on my mind...).
Maybe she just thinks I'm the world's best lead mare, but I think it's a little something more. I don't think anyone will thoroughly understand it but it's not human love, that's for sure.


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## mliponoga (Jul 24, 2010)

Hmm...I tend to agree and disagree. I don't think animals love in the same way as humans but I've seen compassion from animals to humans. Best example is our Doberman. He would definitely give his life to protect my fiance and was not trained in any way to do so. He acts depressed whenever she's not home and is definitely the most loyal animal I've ever met. As far as horses go, I've seen horses dump their rider and the second it happens, calm down and go right back to where the rider is on the ground and wait for them to stand up. This may not be love in the true fashion, but it is definitely something.
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## Northern (Mar 26, 2010)

chrissie, tiny, alex & wallaby, I thank you all for "the other side of the story". There are many similar stories, since the dawn of man's association with horses. I've known several horses who'd run up & down the fence, not wanting me to leave, also. I heard a true story about a horse who lay down & died after he realized that his master was not coming back to him because the master had died.

It's important to understand that horses don't _think_ like us, & perhaps don't love like _us,_ but isn't this fact what draws us to them? 

The fact that horses are therapeutic for our souls, the lessons in justice & patience that they teach us, the ways that they inspire us: do these not suggest that the horse has love in his heart, of that special horsey kind?


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## christopher (Feb 11, 2011)

weird things can happen in an animals mind and a horse is no exception. i recently saw (on a documentary) a lion that killed and ate a baboon, then when reasling that baboon was a new mother, obviously showed the uniquely human of guilt and remorse, as it took that baboons offspring and cared for it. obviously it didn't survive, but why would a lion be a mother to a baboon? using that sort of thinking, a horse "loving" (in a human sense of the word) a human is ridiculous, but entirely possible.

other than the possibility of a mental abnormality causing the horse to "love" humans, i both agree and disagree. yes, normal horses will not love a human using the human definition of love. but who's to say (and i'd say it's pretty difficult to prove otherwise) that horses are incapable of loving in their own in-human way?

and also;


JustDressageIt said:


> Being kind, fair and compassionate to a horse is important and the "right thing" to do. But a more realistic view will keep you safer.


the term "but" here implies that we can't have both a kind fair and compassionate way with horses, as well as a realistic view. not true.


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## horseloverd2 (Jan 23, 2009)

JustDressageIt said:


> *Does Your Horse Love You?*
> Many people say, "I would die for my country" or "I would die for my children." Well, test your horse to see if he will die for you when you shake a plastic bag at him. His love for himself (self preservation) outweighs any attachment he has for you.


I can't say I agree with this. Using the example 'I would die for my children' merely suggests that people who love each other will die for each other when this isn't always the case. Most parents can say they would die for their child, but *part* of that is a protective instinct. Please don't think I'm saying children don't love their parents as much as their parents love them. That's not why I am trying to say at all. I also don't doubt most of you here would die for your parents -even grandparents- in a heartbeat. But how many (young) children would die for their parents? Think about it. Not many. Children look up to their parents to protect them. I think it's the same with horses. They are our young children. They look for _us_ to protect _them._ My mare can be scared out of her witts but will never do anything that can cause me harm. Can't say how many times I should have fallen off her but didn't either. Yet, if we were both in a situation where we were in danger I can't say she would protect me because she looks up to me to do that. She trusts me to keep her safe. 

When I see my horse nuzzle me when I'm crying or put up with random crap for no reason at all... for _me_... if that isn't love I want to know what is. We're also really close. She knows my good moods, my bad moods, everything. I know what she's thinking, too. I've even gotten into a weird habit of narrating her thoughts. But what's funny is they are so accurate. That love is truer than some of the 'love' I see in my society anyway.


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## candandy49 (Jan 16, 2011)

I accept the theory that horses cannot love a human in the human form, but I do believe that special once in a lifetime "heart horse" can to some degree show affection. My horse, Candy and I have that bond. Several years ago I would take her to rodeos to ride the Grand Entries and then watch the events while mounted on her. Some freinds of ours, who are also horsepeople happened to walk by us and we visited for a spell. I needed to go the port-a-potty so I asked one of my friends to hold Candy for me. She asked if she could sit on her while I went, as I was walking away I said something and Candy turned to follow my voice. My friend exclaimed, "This horse loves you"!!! 

Another time Candy did literally go down a rock shelved cliff with me mounted on her. We were on a camping week-end and one of the blazed trails was labeled for experienced riders and horses only. What an experience that was, for true!! She can't show me human love, but she sure does a good job of showing me love in some form.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

Horse will attack for its baby even when its in fear. Does that called "love"? Because it's no different with "dying for your children".


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

Horses can and do like people. Why not? People bring food, water, protection, back rubs, grooming, fly spray, etc. Many people are simply good beings for the horse to be around.

But love, my Mom told me years ago, is when you put the other's welfare ahead of your own. When his/her needs are more important than yours. And I have a hard time imagining a horse caring more about me than about himself...

They may like us, or trust us, but love us? At a minimum, that would be very rare!


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

kitten_Val said:


> Horse will attack for its baby even when its in fear. Does that called "love"? Because it's no different with "dying for your children".


Instinct to protect one's progeny.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

Well said bsms. I think they are capable of empathy & compassion perhaps, but not love in a human sense. One of my mares absolutely enjoys children, will come out of the herd to visit anytime it's a child. Do I think she "loves" children, no. I do think however she likes them a lot, but I feel it comes from a maternal instinct kind of place as she was a wonderful broodmare and has been a nurse mare as well. 

I have a heart horse and we have an amazingly close bond, we've had 29 years to develop it. He's saved my butt many times, but helping a rider find balance or making sure you are okay when u land underneath, and a life or death situation is completely different. If it meant me or him, he would choose himself as we can't override animal instinct. I love him to pieces and while I like the idea he loves me back, I don't think that is possible in the truest sense of the word.
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## Katesrider011 (Oct 29, 2010)

Ehhh. I'd like to believe my horse loves me, and I'm sticking to it. Sure her instincts would tell her it's okay if I left her, and she wouldn't get all hurt if I left like I'd be hurt if she disappeared or something. They love us in their own way. 

And I totally disagree with the Natural Horsemanship statement. 

I've seen animals mourn losses, and everything. Kate works best with me. And I'm not changing my opinion on this one.


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## MacabreMikolaj (May 9, 2009)

Good post. I agree that it is impossible for an animal to know and understand what humans call love. We have the ability to connect those strong emotions to a realization of how we'd feel if they were gone. A mare will protect her foal to the death but cannot understand CHOOSING to die like a human. 

However, they definately have their own ability to bond, return affection and grieve. They have been documented all through history as protecting humans as they do their foals. My half insane Arab mare got stuck in a bog and when a 15 year old kid stayed with her for 2 hours holding her head out of the water, she finally lurched herself free only to stand quietly and allow the novice child to mount and ride her to safety. Instinct screams run, get out, find your herd. She ignored all natural instinct and normal behavior to wait. Do I know why? No I don't, but I do believe that horse understood something deeper then we will ever understand. 

I know my horses "love me" because I mean treats and scratching itchy spots. But one cannot deny or ignore how many times we've witnessed the unthinkable, how many times a horse HAS risked or even given their life to save or protect a human. 

Call it whatever you want but it DOES exist. The problem is when people try to package and label it. Just because Zierra helped the kid doesn't mean I trust that kid to ride her now. I think the danger comes from EXPECTING that "love" and thinking you know how your horse thinks and feels. We can never know, we can only stand in awe and appreciate those rare moments of animal understanding from afar.
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## Katesrider011 (Oct 29, 2010)

MacabreMikolaj said:


> Good post. I agree that it is impossible for an animal to know and understand what humans call love. We have the ability to connect those strong emotions to a realization of how we'd feel if they were gone. A mare will protect her foal to the death but cannot understand CHOOSING to die like a human.
> 
> However, they definately have their own ability to bond, return affection and grieve. They have been documented all through history as protecting humans as they do their foals. My half insane Arab mare got stuck in a bog and when a 15 year old kid stayed with her for 2 hours holding her head out of the water, she finally lurched herself free only to stand quietly and allow the novice child to mount and ride her to safety. Instinct screams run, get out, find your herd. She ignored all natural instinct and normal behavior to wait. Do I know why? No I don't, but I do believe that horse understood something deeper then we will ever understand.
> 
> ...


I agree


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## Marecare (Jan 1, 2009)

I think this is a very good post and will stimulate a great conversation.

I also feel that humans have been trying to explain and understand the meaning of "Love" for a very long time and have a difficult time with the concept also.

We humans have done some pretty horrible things in the name of love.

We have done some very wonderful things too.

I just think horses have it worked out a bit better.


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## Whisper22 (Jan 2, 2011)

I really don't think horses love in the human sense either, but I do think my girls trust me in a way they don't trust anyone else. Whisper is a hider and likes to hide her head in my stomach, especially when the trainer is there. Even when she's not hiding she likes to have her head pressed up against me.
Persia is a beast when she doesn't like you or respect you. She doesn't like my brother in law, and even though I wasn't there to see it, he claims she tried to run him over and kick him when he tried to catch her to put her away. He said he tried several times before he called me to tell me what a bad horse she was. When I got there SHE walked to ME, easiest thing I could have done that day. My conclusion was not that she didn't want to be put away, she just didn't want to be put away by YOU. I would love to think that they love me, but really I think they just trust me a lot, I make them feel comfortable. Who knows, maybe that translates into love in their mind.


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## Jessabel (Mar 19, 2009)

I don't dwell too deeply on this subject, because I find it arrogant to think that we can understand what goes on in an animal's head. We can interpret their actions, but that's as far as it goes. We can never really know for sure what they feel. We don't know how complex their emotions are. They have completely different ways of expressing them. Not all humans express their feelings. How do we know animals aren't the same? That's just it. We don't. 

I believe we can understand them to a limited degree. But not on any deep level. They show us affection and respect, which in my opinion, is their own kind of love. I wouldn't ever say a horse can't love. Their love is just beyond our understanding. I also believe they know when _they_ are loved. I agree that they are perfect the way they are. I'm glad my horses don't love me the same way I love them, because if they did, they'd take a bullet for me, and I would never want that.


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## Katesrider011 (Oct 29, 2010)

Jessabel said:


> I don't dwell too deeply on this subject, because I find it arrogant to think that we can understand what goes on in an animal's head. We can interpret their actions, but that's as far as it goes. We can never really know for sure what they feel. We don't know how complex their emotions are. They have completely different ways of expressing them. Not all humans express their feelings. How do we know animals aren't the same? That's just it. We don't.
> 
> I believe we can understand them to a limited degree. But not on any deep level. They show us affection and respect, which in my opinion, is their own kind of love. I wouldn't ever say a horse can't love. Their love is just beyond our understanding. I also believe they know when _they_ are loved. I agree that they are perfect the way they are. I'm glad my horses don't love me the same way I love them, because if they did, they'd take a bullet for me, and I would never want that.


I agree. This is a subject that is controversial in my opinion. But no one can tell me that animals can't think deeper than most people believe they do. Unless you can read their mind, there is no way possible to know what they can or can't do mentally.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

JustDressageIt said:


> Instinct to protect one's progeny.


Correct. But we still call it "love" when it comes to human though.


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## Levade (Apr 13, 2011)

Well as we cannot define what love is in humans, how can anyone state that an animal cannot love?

My horse Oscar loves food, me, my mum and my sister's gelding Solo. He doesn't even like anything or anyone else, he is nervous and grouchy. Or maybe he just trusts me? Possibly it's the same thing... My horse Piper puts up with me  

There's nothing wrong with anthropomorphising an animal, as long as you don't ignore their basic nature, it's the reason they get treated so well.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

MacabreMikolaj said:


> But one cannot deny or ignore how many times we've witnessed the unthinkable, how many times a horse HAS risked or even given their life to save or protect a human.
> 
> Call it whatever you want but it DOES exist.


Very true.


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## Hlover (Apr 17, 2011)

I'd like to point out in the case that some have said a horse would never die for you. I was reading about a Tribe in Arabia that each man would have one horse for life that would even live in their tent with them and in manycases did die for their owners. Just thought that was interesting in relation to this subject
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## glitterhorse (Mar 20, 2011)

I don't think my horse "loves" me the way I love him, but I do think we have a bond. Really I think the "love" that comes from our horses is their loyalty and protection.
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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

Hlover said:


> I'd like to point out in the case that some have said a horse would never die for you. I was reading about a Tribe in Arabia that each man would have one horse for life that would even live in their tent with them and in manycases did die for their owners. Just thought that was interesting in relation to this subject
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Due to training or actual choice though, I wonder?
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## horseloverd2 (Jan 23, 2009)

https://nosysnoop.wordpress.com/2007/08/16/horse-saves-owner-from-raging-cow/

Just one of many stories of a horse protecting someone they love. I'm sure this horse was never trained to do this, either.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Northern (Mar 26, 2010)

*Horseloverd2*, thanks for an amazing true story to add to evidence of horses' capacity for protectiveness of humans! This is an excellent example of protectiveness entirely unrelated to training/conditioning.


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## horseloverd2 (Jan 23, 2009)

You're welcome Northern! Here are a couple more stories I found for anyone interested. 

STREATOR: Horses save man from possible coyote attack - MyWebTimes.com

Mysterious Ways: Horse Saves Owner from Wild Mare - Guideposts

In the second one, a mares turns against _another horse_ to save her human. I do admit it's a bit odd that the mare managed to get out of a locked stall and the owner still isn't sure how she did it, but I don't really doubt the story either.


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## GarlicBread (Oct 7, 2010)

Horses may not love the way we do, but I am positive they can definitely have affection for someone.


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## Northern (Mar 26, 2010)

Thanks, horseloverd2, for the 2 additional stories!

The first, I find totally believable, & wonderful, on the part of the horses!

The second stretches my credulity on account of the locked barn door still being locked. Amber couldn't walk through walls, unless by divine intervention. If the latter happened, I'm good!


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## horseloverd2 (Jan 23, 2009)

Northern said:


> The second stretches my credulity on account of the locked barn door still being locked. Amber couldn't walk through walls, unless by divine intervention. If the latter happened, I'm good!


Haha! Same here. ^^


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## trailhorserider (Oct 13, 2009)

My horses don't love me, but I love them. Therein lies the problem. :lol:

Now I want to think they do have a little affection for me. And I think they do. They are easy to catch and seem content in my company. But if I were to turn them loose in "horse heaven" somewhere, they would be perfectly happy without me. 

I have horses because I am totally infatuated with them and enjoy their company. But I realize the horses don't feel the same way to the same extent. But that's okay. I love them, and that's why I have them. I know it's a mostly one-sided relationship.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

JustDressageIt said:


> Due to training or actual choice though, I wonder?


I'd think due to both, but choice has lots to do with it. Mostly because horses are so different from dogs.

And just want to add on top of it... I fell off my qh once at the team penning. With all this excitement of other horses (she doesn't see often), cows, etc. around she stopped right there by my side quietly ignoring pretty much everything (she was not scared BTW and didn't look for protection). When other people tried to drag her away from me (to lead off the arena) she spread and buried all her 4 hoofs in sand, made a ****y expression, and refused to move an inch (she's generally fine with the people and don't cause problems with leading). After couple tries the person just let her be. She was just standing there watching me getting up very slowly and as long as I was up just walked by my side outside. I didn't hold the reins or anything.

BTW, this horse has LOTS of attitude, and we fight from time to time who's the alpha on ground. So the relations are not all flowers and butterflies...


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

I think it is obvious that horses can feel affectionate towards humans, but not in quite the same way humans are affectionate to each other.

We bought Lilly from a charity. Her previous corral mate - Mia - had already been sold. About 3 months later, the charity had Mia back for sale. More on a whim than anything else, I bought her.

When we brought her home, Lilly knew immediately who it was. She was thrilled, and called excitedly to Mia while Mia was still in the trailer. We thought (and Lilly also obviously thought) it would be a grand reunion. 

Instead, Mia attacked Lilly. We had to separate them, and a month passed before we could safely mix the two. They had previously spent two years sharing a corral, and Lilly was very happy to see Mia again, but Mia? Not hardly!

I like Mia. Mia trusts me. Humans value affection. Horses value safety. And while Mia likes me alright, if I die today, she won't miss me much. She might spend a day or two wondering why I wasn't taking care of her, but those would be pretty vague feelings. As long as my family looked after her, her life would go on without missing a beat.


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## MIEventer (Feb 15, 2009)

Jessabel said:


> *I don't dwell too deeply on this subject, because I find it arrogant to think that we can understand what goes on in an animal's head. We can interpret their actions, but that's as far as it goes. We can never really know for sure what they feel. We don't know how complex their emotions are. They have completely different ways of expressing them.* Not all humans express their feelings. How do we know animals aren't the same? That's just it. We don't.
> 
> I believe we can understand them to a limited degree. But not on any deep level. They show us affection and respect, which in my opinion, is their own kind of love. I wouldn't ever say a horse can't love. Their love is just beyond our understanding. I also believe they know when _they_ are loved. I agree that they are perfect the way they are. I'm glad my horses don't love me the same way I love them, because if they did, they'd take a bullet for me, and I would never want that.


Well said Jessabel, and I agree. 

Just because animals cannot speak our verbal language, does not minimize their intelligence and emotions.


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## Wallaby (Jul 13, 2008)

Jessabel said:


> I don't dwell too deeply on this subject, because I find it arrogant to think that we can understand what goes on in an animal's head. We can interpret their actions, but that's as far as it goes. We can never really know for sure what they feel. We don't know how complex their emotions are. They have completely different ways of expressing them. Not all humans express their feelings. How do we know animals aren't the same? That's just it. We don't.
> 
> I believe we can understand them to a limited degree. But not on any deep level. They show us affection and respect, which in my opinion, is their own kind of love. I wouldn't ever say a horse can't love. Their love is just beyond our understanding. I also believe they know when _they_ are loved. I agree that they are perfect the way they are. I'm glad my horses don't love me the same way I love them, because if they did, they'd take a bullet for me, and I would never want that.


I also thoroughly agree with this. Well said.


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