# I'm Terrified Of Horses But Love Them and Want To Overcome My Fear



## shalisha (Aug 27, 2013)

Hi everyone! My name is Shalisha. I'm new to this forum 

Here's the scenario: Sleepaway camp, 1987. We were rounding up the horses so the campers could go riding. 

Suddenly, all of the horses got scared and they started going wild. I thought one was going to fall on me. 

But that's just part of the story. When I moved to NYC, I decided to take horse riding lessons, but was still terrified from that experience. The horse I was riding suddenly kicked it's legs up...

A simple solution would be for me to avoid horses altogether. 

Let's face it. Horses are huge scary animals. And they can seriously hurt you.

My point here is I desperately want to ride horses again - without the fear I'll get thrown off, trampled on, etc.

Anyway...


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

Start small. Volunteer at a therapeutic riding barn just muck stalls and feeding. When you're more comfortable, move up to helping groom and tack up the horses. Then move to learning to lead/handle them properly and help during lessons/classes. Finally, when you're comfortable with them on the ground, take a lesson or two. Just make sure to explain your fears to your instructor.

Baby steps. You can do this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

That stuff is a pretty rare occurrence, though it does occasionally happen. Many things horses do might seem scary, like when they kick they bellys with their hind legs or when they throw their head. If I were you I would find a reputable stable and take lessons on the ground first. Learn their habits, how they play, what scares them, how to properly control them, what to do if _______, etc. Exposing yourself to their ins and out will make them less scary. It's VERY rare a horse actually WANTS to hurt a person, like throw them off or trample them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fort fireman (Mar 5, 2011)

I agree with what is said above. Find a good reputable barn and tell them the issues. You may pay a little more but will recieve good service and compitent help. Go only as fast as you are comfortable with and most of all enjoy the ride.:lol: If it isn't fun whats the point.


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## Fort fireman (Mar 5, 2011)

Oh, and hitting the ground isn't alll that bad. It only hurts until it stops hurting.:lol:


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## xlionesss (Jan 30, 2012)

Fort fireman said:


> Oh, and hitting the ground isn't alll that bad. It only hurts until it stops hurting.:lol:


 
LOL
I need to use this line...


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## Country Woman (Dec 14, 2011)

welcome to the forum I am sorry you experince this 
I hope you can and will overcome your fear


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## HorseLovinLady (Jul 18, 2011)

Welcome to the forum Shalisha!! I agree with everyone else, also remember give a horse respect and they'll respect you. :smile:


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## Sibyl (Aug 27, 2013)

Hi Shalisha,
may be there is a psychological reason you fear horses and, at the same time, you wish to be around them. It's sometimes due to projections we put on pets, mainly dogs and horses. A traumatic experience can certainly enforce this tendency.
My latest book is about this kind of relationship we often have with horses.
However, the suggestions given you here by the forum-friends are very good to control your fear at a surface level.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I worked with a woman who'd been on a run a way as a teen and of course the turn of events worsened in her mind. She wasn't particularly interested in riding but she felt the need to beat her fear. An English saddle was used as I didn't want her getting a death grip on the horn which would create tension throughout her body. Before I asked her to mount I explained every movement the horse might make as he adjusts to her weight. He was on a long line and that I would maintain full control at all times. She mounted, horse shifted and she was ok with that, knowing ahead of time what would happen. When she was ready she asked him to walk. I found it important to keep a conversation going, mainly about the horse's movements to help the rider focus on something other than fear. Within 10 min she and the horse were quite relaxed, moving at the end of the lunge. I can't take all the credit as it takes a special horse sometimes and I was lucky enough to own him.


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## my2geldings (Feb 18, 2008)

Welcome to the forum, and great for you for doing what you can to build confidence.


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## shalisha (Aug 27, 2013)

Sibyl said:


> Hi Shalisha,
> may be there is a psychological reason you fear horses and, at the same time, you wish to be around them. It's sometimes due to projections we put on pets, mainly dogs and horses. A traumatic experience can certainly enforce this tendency.
> My latest book is about this kind of relationship we often have with horses.
> However, the suggestions given you here by the forum-friends are very good to control your fear at a surface level.



I don't have deep "psychological reasons" around being afraid of horses and still wanting to be around them. As I've stated, I love horses and am afraid to be around them because of what I experienced. It doesn't take a genius to understand that. Sometimes a turd is just a turd. 

I don't like people peddling their wares either. I'm not interested in anyone peddling their books. 

"...to control your fear at a surface level." What an insult!


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

I like what Saddlebag said. Having someone take the time and patience to explain how and why the horse is acting/reacting the way he is might be helpful.


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## Sibyl (Aug 27, 2013)

Sorry Shalisha, I had no intention to insult you. 
I just wanted to share my experience and I said "May be...".


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## Godgirl (Jul 11, 2013)

i am 100% terrified of my horse and dont know what to do about it. she keeps attacking me and biting me and i am so scared to go near her. 
any other horse i will go near but not this one.
my aunt is comming up to help me with her but i still dont know if i am going to keep her or not.


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## blue eyed pony (Jun 20, 2011)

Godgirl said:


> i am 100% terrified of my horse and dont know what to do about it. she keeps attacking me and biting me and i am so scared to go near her.
> any other horse i will go near but not this one.
> my aunt is comming up to help me with her but i still dont know if i am going to keep her or not.


If you are afraid of your horse and not others then your horse is the wrong horse for you at this point in time.

I've been there. I'm pretty confident on the ground and have dealt with some dangerous issues such as rearing, kicking, biting and pulling back, but in the saddle, depending on the horse, I can struggle with confidence. Oddly I am more confident on my hot, sensitive, spooky three year old Thoroughbred filly, who I broke to ride myself, than I am on the 18 year old Anglo gelding, who is very well educated and quiet but can be strong.

When the old boy was still in work I didn't ride him nearly as often as I should have, I loved it when I did ride but I simply didn't have the motivation and upon self-reflection, I was terrified of him! He's now mostly retired and is packing around a confident beginner rider with no issues at all. My troubles with that horse had everything to do with my fear of him. And I had a lot of them - bolting and bucking mainly. I'm no longer afraid of him but that being said I'm also not especially keen to ride him either.

Since I retired him and brought my filly into full work, I've found that my motivation to ride is much higher. For a while I thought I'd lost the passion but in fact it turns out that the passion is well and truly alive - it was just more work than it was worth to ride Monty on a regular basis.

That was NOT why I retired him, though. I persisted with him until it became apparent he was no longer sound enough to do the kind of work I wanted him to do. He is now a trail horse I will hop on once every couple of weeks or so and go for a bit of a bum around, and packs around a beginner friend of mine up to 3 days a week.


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## Corporal (Jul 29, 2010)

SlideStop said:


> That stuff is a pretty rare occurrence, though it does occasionally happen. Many things horses do might seem scary, like when they kick they bellys with their hind legs or when they throw their head. If I were you I would find a reputable stable and take lessons on the ground first. Learn their habits, how they play, what scares them, how to properly control them, what to do if _______, etc. Exposing yourself to their ins and out will make them less scary. It's VERY rare a horse actually WANTS to hurt a person, like throw them off or trample them.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This is true. My dogs love to race when my 3 horses take off, but they are very careful not to step on either of them, even when the 60 and 70 lb dogs get way too close.
Still, most of us recover from an injury, AND lose confidence usually work our way back _after a history of riding for many years._
Yes, you can do this, but if you go too fast, or let an instructor who doesn't understand your fears push you too fast, you'll give up.
Your fears are real. We all just learn to manage our horses so that we minimize the dangers of working with animals 8x-10x our size. =D


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## lazzara8478 (Sep 10, 2013)

you are doing the right thing by coming here. Yes horses are big, But they shouldn't be feared, just respected and most definitely admired.


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## JessRamone (Sep 8, 2013)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> Start small. Volunteer at a therapeutic riding barn just muck stalls and feeding. When you're more comfortable, move up to helping groom and tack up the horses. Then move to learning to lead/handle them properly and help during lessons/classes. Finally, when you're comfortable with them on the ground, take a lesson or two. Just make sure to explain your fears to your instructor.
> 
> Baby steps. You can do this.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Totally agree on this. Tiny steps, make sure you stay comfortable with every step you take. Doesn't matter how long it will take you. Just matters that you are ok with what happens. And indeed: you can do this! :thumbsup:


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