# Confessions of a Nervous Rider



## .Delete. (Jan 7, 2008)

I used to be terrified of horses to the point where i would be in tears just to touch one. Now im well on my way to getting my bachelors in western training and riding. What really helped me and i highly recommend is a trainer. I had a Natural Horsemanship trainer who really helped me. She was a saint, she would always tell me "Your not breathing Tara, you gotta remember to breathe". She understood my fear and helped me work through it. She would take extra time to explain things to me and help me work on my own. She would make me ride my pony and push me to "man up" and work things out for myself. She was a real confidence builder for me. If it wasnt for her i wouldnt be who i am today. I owe alot to her. 

I would literally sit outside my stall and cry because i was scared to go in with my pony. Now i am the first one to jump on an unbroke horse. I really really suggest getting outside help. Make sure you clarify to this person what exactly your looking for. Explain to them your concerns and what you would like to accomplish. Goodluck!


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

I'm at the point with horses where, I'm not terrified but I am extremely cautious. 

In February I came off a horse, I'd been a bit nervous before this, and hadn't ridden seriously in years, but this really was the icing on the cake. I put my foot in the stirrup, swung up just about the put my other foot in the stirrup and this horse who I had just seen the owner ride, who I was assured was quiet, took off bucking. I fell and broke my arm and fractured my spine and swore I would never ride again. This horse was meant to be something to give me confidence.

It's funny because as a kid I didn't have a fear of riding, I'd just get on and ride, and if I fell off I'd get on and ride some more. Now just thinking of riding I am worried about getting dragged, or falling and breaking my skull and more terrible things. And I am a stickler for safety. I'm on holidays and I wanted to go on a trail ride, and they said you can just wear your own shoes, hiking boots will be fine. But I don't think they are, I'm paranoid a bit now. I can just imagine me falling and my boots, being much too wide, getting jammed in the stirrups and then my thigh snaps and I get dragged. 

I want to get back into riding but its so hard to look past the fear. Its strange because once I am on a horse I am fine. I can gallop, canter, jump, do sporting, whatever even though I haven't ridden for years. 

My new plan is to take lessons on a safe horse until I am okay. And then, when I am sure I want my own, instead of buying the cheapest good one I can, that I know needs work, I am going to save for a nice horse that is quiet and trained, even if it costs me money. Because you realise when you're sitting at home with a broken arm and can't cook or drive or anything that health is extremely important. Can't put a price on safety. 

So thank you for your advice. It's good to know I am not the only person who has fears of riding.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Great advice, I even started one step back from that when the fear was to bad, put on the breeches and walk around the house, dress the part it helps get you in the mindset of being a rider, when your comfortable with that then take the next step, go groom, play, ground train the more you do and seach little step you take is a victory.

Can I add one more to Red Gates List though.

At the end of the day do not let your brain tell you you have failed because you used to, or everyone else does, hunt, jump, gallop, whatever it is, if you walked your horse around the school for 5 minutes and it felt good, CELEBRATE that, you achieved you are a success, and nothing breeds success like success, so never ever mourn what you can't do, rejoice in the now and the achievement you made today, Oh and com ejoin the Big Girls Panties thread and help support all of us less than brave people:wink:


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## .Delete. (Jan 7, 2008)

Ohwow. I missed the whole point of this thread. I should really pay attention more. How embarrassing


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

Golden Horse said:


> At the end of the day do not let your brain tell you you have failed because you used to, or everyone else does, hunt, jump, gallop, whatever it is, if you walked your horse around the school for 5 minutes and it felt good, CELEBRATE that, you achieved you are a success, and nothing breeds success like success, so never ever mourn what you can't do, rejoice in the now and the achievement you made today, Oh and com ejoin the Big Girls Panties thread and help support all of us less than brave people:wink:


I need to do this one more! I always feel like "I should have done better" or "I should have stayed on longer" or "I sucked it up."


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## Dresden (Jun 24, 2011)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> I need to do this one more! I always feel like "I should have done better" or "I should have stayed on longer" or "I sucked it up."


You aren't the only one. I always feel like I didn't do enough or work hard enough or ride well enough or...I chickened out and didn't push through my fear enough. I do way too much "but I used to..." type nonsense. My worst enemy is my own thoughts. It always reminds me of the quote "its hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LetAGrlShowU (Mar 25, 2009)

subbing. This is all soo me.


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## Arizahn (Sep 25, 2011)

This thread is awesome - it reminds you that it's ok to be only human.
I'm also somewhat nervous, so I share your pain


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

oH I got a good one to add to the things to do to help you not feel too scared:

When things are just a bit dicey, such as your horse is breathing in that snorty sort of way that says he sees or hears something you dont' and he's worried about it. . . . or when he starts to dance a little because a chipmunk skittered in the bush . . .or the other riders went left and you want to go right and your horse doesn't agree . and things get a little "rocky", say this to yourself:

*"This is so boring. I am so bored." Then it feels like a big fat nothing.*


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## Arizahn (Sep 25, 2011)

I find that interacting with the other riders can be nerve wracking; especially if you don't know anyone!


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

Arizahn said:


> I find that interacting with the other riders can be nerve wracking; especially if you don't know anyone!


I'm actually more at ease with people I don't know than I am with people I know and who are impatient with my nervousness, to be honest. People you don't know aren't going to know that you're nervous (unless, of course, you tell them).


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## Puddintat (Jul 24, 2010)

tinyliny said:


> oH I got a good one to add to the things to do to help you not feel too scared:
> 
> When things are just a bit dicey, such as your horse is breathing in that snorty sort of way that says he sees or hears something you dont' and he's worried about it. . . . or when he starts to dance a little because a chipmunk skittered in the bush . . .or the other riders went left and you want to go right and your horse doesn't agree . and things get a little "rocky", say this to yourself:
> 
> *"This is so boring. I am so bored." Then it feels like a big fat nothing.*


I wish I could make myself believe myself when I say that.


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## Loklir (Jul 21, 2011)

Singing always helps for me... i have had a lot of bad experiences and i read on a thread on this site that singing helps so i tried it  i completely fail at singing to the point it sounds like cats are drowning but whenever my horse pigroots or bucks or gets a bit joggy and i feel the nerves start kicking in (i start to shake) i take a big massive breath and start singing whatever come into my head as loud as i want until both me and the horse has calmed down.

This method is also good when trying to build a relationship with your horse because they feel more secure when they hear your voice. 

if you don't like singing or feel weird doing it then try just having a conversation with your horse or yourself but nothing horse related just what you did that day or what your making for dinner... It works for me


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## sdellin (Jul 14, 2010)

I came off my horse last year. I was being cautious. There were pigeons in the barn on the gate. She saw them and i was prepared for her to spook, she didn't and I relaxed. Just as I relaxed she spooked and jumped about 3 feet to the left. I came off and landed on the back of my right shoulder blade. I've come off horses before, but she's a little bigger horse than I was riding. Anyway, I hit just right and so hard that I had the wind knocked out of me and couldn't get up for a little while. I had to sleep in my recliner for 4 weeks! I could not cough or laugh and when I did it hurt so bad! Here's the cool part: right after it happened, when I got up on my knees I thought about my horse, she was somewhere in the arena. When I looked up and found her she was facing me and looking right at me. I motioned for her to come to me and she immediately walked over to me. This was within a month of when I got her. That was so sweet of her. 

Anyway, this caused me to lose my confidence. Since then I have cantered on her once, and that was by accident. We were trotting and I gave her right leg to ask for a turn, but she mistook it for a canter signal. All of a sudden I was just cantering so smoothly on her! Every time I ride I think, "I just need to do it, just canter." I have gotten a lot better over the last year, but I'm 46 years old and it is true that you aren't fearless anymore at this age. I hate having fear, but since I've started talking to people I've found that this is not uncommon.

Okay, so tomorrow I'm going to ride and canter... hahaha.


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## Stan (Aug 25, 2011)

We all feel fear. My trick is to sit down in the saddle breath out loud and stop riding. Stella slows and relaxes as well I turn her head to my boot and scratch her cheek. I am teaching her this is her safe place when it is also mine. We relax, thoughts are re-directed. It's like starting again and the other riders don't know what I am doing or how I was feeling. As for those in their 40ies and taking up riding. I have met people in their 60ies just starting out. They hide their fear well


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## ohmyitschelle (Aug 23, 2008)

I'm a very nervous rider. I never used to be, much like the OP's story began, but after my ongoing knee injury (originally not horse related) started, I definitely became quite timid in the saddle. Couple that with falling off and shattering my leg on my green mare in 2009 and I've really struggled in the saddle.

I find this thread very inspirational for someone like myself, who only truly got back into the saddle this year - and even that's been limited. Like some have said, I've done things in steps, and pushed myself harder than I possibly have in the past 14yrs I've been riding. 

I look forward to following all the comments in here


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## dee (Jul 30, 2009)

My daughter is good rider, but is inexperienced. I am a so-so rider that is also relatively inexperienced (have only recently returned to horses after a 20+ year hiatus). Daughter bought a horse that I had serious reservations about - a green broke high strung Paso Fino. As I feared, the horse was WAY too much for her to handle, and after being thrown a number of times, daughter lost her confidence.

Recently, daughter rescued a little QH mare and had her trained to saddle. Green rider + green horse is usually a recipe for disaster, but the little mare is very sweet, and really tries hard to do what is asked of her. The only time the mare gets worked up is if she gets confused about what is being asked of her. Riding her new horse has done wonders for daughter's confidence, and her riding has really improved.

My mare is notorious - everyone was terrified of her when we first got her - exept hubby and I. Guess we remembered enough from having horses before that we could handle the terrible ground manners and get her straightened back out. Now she is a dream horse - on the ground and under saddle. I can say this with certainty because I did manage to get my fat backide up into the saddle again, and rode my mare. I had a little accident the last time I rode that was NOT the horse's doing - it had nothing to do with riding - but mounting from an unstable spot is never a good idea, and I'm paying for it. However, it has not dampened my enthusiasm and I fully intend to ride again as soon as possible - once I get a better fitting saddle.

Here is the trick I taught my daughter to help her with her confidence - it also helped me with my touch of nerves when I started riding my horse: Picture yourself having a wonderful ride - everything going smoothly. If you come to an obsticle or situation that is cause for concern - picture yourself and your horse riding expertly threw it. Trust me - it works. Maybe not 100%, but getting yourself relaxed is more than half the battle, because it will also influence your horse's mood and reactions.

Nothing will help much if your horse does spook, and if you have a real problem horse, it might not work too well, but on most of the horse's I've been around - it works very well.


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## kait18 (Oct 11, 2011)

something that helped me conquer to fears at once. one fear of actually riding my twh cross and the other speaking in public 

every time i go near him i have to talk to myself... not directly at the horse but i talk out loud to myself. my sisters think i am crazy but it helps release some of my nerves. and when we are riding i do the same thing. i look like an idiot talking to myself or if lucky ppl think i am talking to my horse  but being able to talk out loud and put a handle on how i speak ( in meaning if its gets stuttery i take a deep breathe and start over). once i could handle that on my horse, it was so easy when giving large speeches in front of people. 
but talking was my key to forget the nerves.

another i liked and i am sorry if this makes me sound like a crazy person but it helps my nerves and fast to. i constantly tell myself look at this pretty guy(my horse of course), ppl are jealous they are not riding him... even if its not true!!!  it just helps me focus on the fun we are having


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## netty83 (Sep 21, 2010)

subbing to read after work!


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