# Extremely buddy sour and very dangerous



## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

Do you have a place that you can SAFELY tie your mare?

Every day, I would separate her and pony for a few hours, and leave her tied where she can't see him. 

This is, provided that your mare gives to pressure and is used to being tied. A known "puller" or things of that nature, you need to fix the pulling before you do this or you risk injury to the horse. 

Bottom line is she just needs to get used to it. By nature, horses are buddy animals. They like having a herd. But she also needs to learn that it's not the end of the world if her buddy leaves her. 

So I would both 1) leave her tied while you leave with the pony 2) leave the pony at home and you leave with her. Then she's getting training from both ends.


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## Smilie (Oct 4, 2010)

Agree with Beau, absolutely!
Tie her solid, in a safe place, alone. Not cross ties!
If she freaks when pony leaves-tie her up, in that safe place.
Tie her up regularly. Do not untie her until she is standing there quietly. You then reward the right thing
You are correct, that smacking her teaches her nothing, except to become more anxious, and to have a negative association with being tied


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## BettyT (Oct 30, 2015)

So I left with my mare leaving the pony behind and she started rearing under saddle. Things got very bad. I took her to the off property riding arena and lunged her for a bit and she settled. Coming back she started to freak out again. She has been tied in her stall for 2 hours and is still screaming and trying to rear. The pony is calling back to her but not going crazy. 

I think I made a huge mistake in getting her a buddy. Now I can't eleven handle my horse safely - never mind riding!

Please tell me there is hope ?


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## WhattaTroublemaker (Aug 13, 2013)

Keep it up. It won't stop in a day. Persistence is key here.


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## ManicMini (May 4, 2015)

There is hope but it will take a lot of time, patience and sometimes a lot of courage to get extreme buddy sourness to a manageable level. My gelding was the type where he would scream and jig in place while tied. I left him tied for so long that it became almost cruel. Lunging also didn't work, he didn't care how long or how hard he worked. In his mind, being separated from the herd meant certain death.

Under saddle he would bolt, buck, rear and spin. The only thing that worked was working him in the pasture with the herd grazing near by. Sometimes i'd use him to herd them to other parts of the pasture, other times we would do figure 8's, serpentines and work on keeping his attention on me all while in close proximity of the herd. I'd let him rest away from the herd, completely out of sight and earshot of them. It took MONTHS of consistent work and many, many wet saddle blankets. 

I won't lie, there were many times I wanted to give up and sell him. I didn't think he'd ever be safe to ride out on alone and that he was beyond helping. I couldn't afford the luxury of a trainer so I read about many methods and tailored them to my horse. Every now and then we have to have a refresher but I can now handle him without him frantically calling and obsessively stressing out over being separated from his buddies. If you fear for your safety around your horse while she's in this mindset, I would either keep her as an only horse or contact a professional to evaluate her and execute a plan of action. I wish you the best of luck with this issue.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hang on Fi (Sep 22, 2007)

This hits fairly close to home for me. 

A gelding we acquired earlier this year is what I would call dangerously buddy sour on the trail (compared to any of my other horses).

He loses his mind when you take his pasture mate away. Out on a trail with others and wanting to stop and adjust something while the others walk away? Darn near impossible. This is a gelding who is a great nose-to-tail horse for beginners, but if you want to take him away from another horse, he's bonkers. 

One thing that helps, at least temporarily (this gelding isn't ridden routinely) is to make him/her work their fanny off by their friend and let them "relax" away from. For that session they associate their "buddy" as work and like most horses... They'd rather not work. It took a couple times of "spinning" and figure eights before he decided he was perfectly fine to be away from his buddy. My challenge is my own frustration of such a dependent horse that takes forever to grasp the concept. In truth the horse doesn't respect me nearly as much as he should, but he's my once-in-awhile trail horse and to be honest... I just don't have time to "fix" his problem every day.

Great advice has been given to be applied, I hope you find your solution


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## Yogiwick (Sep 30, 2013)

It's not the pony that's the problem it's that she was on her own, that triggered this.. desperation.

Just go slow and be safe but firm. Can you tie safely IN sight? I would personally just go slow with that and "compromise" for a bit working your way up to quietly out of sight/hearing/etc.

Need a third horse


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## Smilie (Oct 4, 2010)

You need to ride this horse, at the moment where you can, until you can ride her where you now can't!
Do you have some enclosed area that you can ride your mare?
If so, lunge her first, bitted up, before riding. Have zero tolerance for any calling or letting her attention drift to buddy
Get after her when she does-take her head away and really spur those hips around, making the wrong thing have consequences
When she is calling, her attention and feeling of security , comes from her buddy, and not from you
You need to change that, when you work or handle her
Make her work. Do all kinds of exercises, make her focus on you, then tie her up, before putting her back with buddy
Once she is working well around home, no calling, with lots of body control on her, it is time to ride her out-alone


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## Cherie (Dec 16, 2010)

Tying her up well away from her buddy will fix it. It may take 3 or 4 days of being tied all day. If you tie her in a safe place (always higher than her withers and in a place she cannot hurt herself) until she stands quietly. If she is as reactive and herd-bound as you say, it will probably take more than a 8-10 hour day. Just put her up over night. Feed her the next morning, let her get a drink and tie her up all day again. 

I have had it take 3 full days with a reminder every month or two. When she finally stands quietly with a hind foot cocked, she is ready to start working with again. It is completely non-productive (and often dangerous) to try to train a reactive horse. You must get them over being reactive and then they train like they did before getting stupid over another horse.

We have had them dig holes 3 or 4 feet deep. We have had them scream for hours -- up to 3 days. 

We use a strong, flat, nylon web halter. We hang a 3/4 inch nylon rope down from a big tree limb. Always make sure the rope is attached to the halter with a big bull-snap that has a good swivel in it. They go around and around, paw and throw their fit. Just stay completely away from them but keep a eye on them frequently. (We have had to bring out the big tractor and fill in the holes they dug.) But, we have not ever had one that didn't 'give it up' and regain their sanity. 

When we have had trail horses that got that herd-bound, we pony them on a trail ride. About 30 minutes into the ride, we tie them to a tree limb and let them stay there. Then, we pick them up on our way back. It may take several rides, but it has worked on all of them. Then, we do the leap-frog game with them -- taking turns riding them ahead, leaving them behind and being passed and passing and leaving other horses. There is no better way to get one really broke and accept being in front, behind or completely leaving all other horses. 

We used to do a lot of 'day-work' on the big ranches around here. You cannot go out and split up to gather cattle, bring them together and go out again with a herd-bound horse. They have to listen to you 100% of the time and not be looking or calling for the other horses. They just are not broke when they do that and are completely useless. If a cowboy had a horse acting that stupid, they would not not get invited back to help that ranch again, much less get payed for it.

I truly believe that people that ride all of the time and do not have a horse that is non-reactive and really broke have just never ridden a really broke horse.


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## WhattaTroublemaker (Aug 13, 2013)

Agree with Cherie 100%!! I also use this technique to teach patience. I hate a horse who paws when tied, whether it be because of boredom or at feeding time. I've tied many a horse for a day or three when they start pawing.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I could never figure out how tying a horse up for hours teaches it anything. From my own observation the horse that appears to settle down has shut down. He can no longer escape so he's prepared to die. Horses rely on others for security and safety and the pony represents that to her. Horses are always thinking about predators, it's kept them alive for millennia. Tying it up does nothing to help the horse. It's about fear.


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

The only way to get over fear is to face it. By tying and leaving the horse does not shut down but accepts that being on its own is not the end of the world.

True horses are herd animals but they learn that leaving the herd is not dangerous. If they didn't then no horse would ride on its own.


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## Cherie (Dec 16, 2010)

Saddlebag said:


> I could never figure out how tying a horse up for hours teaches it anything. From my own observation the horse that appears to settle down has shut down. He can no longer escape so he's prepared to die. Horses rely on others for security and safety and the pony represents that to her. Horses are always thinking about predators, it's kept them alive for millennia. Tying it up does nothing to help the horse. It's about fear.


This is flawed thinking on how a horse learns and how they figure things out. They DO NOT shut down. It is NOT a 'predator ' thing. It is NOT 'learned helplessness' thing. They figure out, on their own, that it is not the end of the world. (or the end of their life as they know it). They figure out that their fear of not having their buddy or their herd was only temporary and life resumes as normal after they have been separated. 

Horses that are in a 'reactive mode' do not 'think' at all. They do not learn anything, unless it is how to get what they wanted in the first place, like going home. They let anxiety and fear take over. They are in 'fight or flight' mode. They argue to do what they think provides them with security. A horse that is in a reactive mode is not a pleasure to ride. Many are very unsafe to ride. They are completely useless to us as long as they are in a reactive mode.

Tying them up and keeping them completely away from you and their herd gives them the time they need to stop being reactive and to get back into a 'thinking' or 'responsive' mode. Then and only then can they learn and interact with us in a calm and responsive way. Then and only then can they learn.

Yes! there are other ways to FORCE them back into a responsive mode. People can force them to do something different (like running them around in circles) until they 'give it' up or cripple themselves. A person can try to hit them and beat them until that person has their undivided attention. But, since they do not learn much of anything in a 'reactive' mode, they end up fearing the person or you can 'round pen' or run one around on a line until they are crippled or try to jump out of the round pen. [Been there! Done that!] Or, one can use a safe, sane, non-confrontational and much more gentle and 'horse friendly' way to let a horse learn that there is life after being away from their herd or buddy. Once they figure this out, they are happy enough working with us without the anxiety and fear that they need their friend or herd for their well-being.

A horse that has been tied up and left alone until it is quiet and happy is a very trainable horse. They learn very well because they are in a completely 'receptive mode'. This is soooo much better than trying to teach a horse something when that horse is fretting and focused on wanting to be somewhere else. 

If the other horse they are not wanting to leave is also screaming and fretting, they should also be tied up. They also do not learn anything as long as they are running, pacing a stall or are reactive. They will behave the same way every time their buddy is taken out while tying them up teaches them the same thing -- that there is life after separation. I do not like tying them up in a stall. They just learn to paw and beat their legs on the stall wall. Tie them out in a different place well away from the other horse.


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## Smilie (Oct 4, 2010)

Amen to above, and why, for me, teaching a horse to stand tied ,alone quiet, is an integral part or their training under saddle
I never have a horse that calls, when I first ride him out alone, as that regular tying has taught them fussing does nothing, and that life goes on as before, after that separation
Teaching horses to accept being tied solid and alone, is something I find missing in so many people's training program
They have have horses to valuable, high strung, take your pick-so that horse can't be expected to be3 taught this skill.
Hense, they give excuses, -like the horse needs not learn to tie solid , because he ground ties. Well, my horses ground tie also, but ground trying is not a substitute to learning to tie solid
Some 'tie' that horse, using strings that will break, soon as the horse pulls back, just loop that lead rope. Again, while this might work, long as you are with the horse, it does not teach that horse to tie
A horse that does not tie, for me, is as useless as a horse that rears, bucks, ect


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## BettyT (Oct 30, 2015)

Thank you everyone. She spent about 6 hours tied in her stall last night. She was quiet out there by herself, but started screaming the moment she saw me bring the pony in. She got totally frantic when I untied her and smashed her head on the stall door and has a cut above the eye now.

I separated the horses this morning before going to work. They can barely see each other and of course my mare went crazy. I could't tie her because I'm away from home for 10 hours in the day while at work. I will tie her after they eat tonight and leaver her there again. 

Should I leave her tied overnight while we go to sleep?

Secondly, the rearing under saddle was really frightening! She's hopped up before, but never that high! Luckily I remembered to go with it and not pull back.

I just can't believe how bad this has gotten in less than a week when all I tried to do is give her some company so that she doesn't have to pace the fence all day.


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## Joel Reiter (Feb 9, 2015)

BettyT said:


> I think I made a huge mistake in getting her a buddy. Please tell me there is hope ?


No, you didn't make a mistake. What you did was find out your horse isn't broke. Most horses aren't. Now you can fix it. I wouldn't ride again until the separate and tie method has succeeded.

The approach that Hang on Fi describes will be good for after she settles down. Getting in a fight with your horse while you are sitting on it is a good way to end up in the hospital. You need to be confident and relaxed to make it work. As Jessica Jahiel, author of _The Horse Behavior Problem Solver_ and other books, says:By and large, the more worried and insecure a horse is, the more likely he is to become herd-bound and buddy sour. You need to take on the role of a strong, secure herd leader, and that means taking charge calmly. Inappropriate reactions (for example, curling up in fear and hyperventilating) will only convince your horse that he really is in terrible danger (after all, you, his rider, are clearly terrified) and that he needs to make a run for it if he's going to survive. The key is to be assertive, not aggressive, because your goal isn't to make matters worse by hurting or frightening your horse, your goal is to remind him that you are in control and he is safe.​Your problem is so common that it's close to universal. Unfortunately, the "solution" most people arrive at is to never separate the horses.


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## Smilie (Oct 4, 2010)

Very well put, Joel
Before you got her that companion, you never had to deal with the natural scenario that follows, unless the horse is trained otherwise
It is very natural for a horse to prefer company of it's own kind, unlike a dog, and also to derive security in a heard like setting, being a prey /herd species
Man has chosen the horse through the ages, to serve him, thus having a prey species accept him on his back, dampen his flight instincts with training and trust, and yes, learn to accept us as that herd substitute, when we either work or ride a horse.
A horse is not born with this, and a horse kept alone, never had to be taught to accept separation from a herd mate, if he never had one to be separated from!
I totally agree on not riding her until you get this extreme separation anxiety fixed
A reactive horse learns nothing.
I would not be bringing the pony in to her, when she is still this way(going bonkers when she sees pony )
Instead, when she is standing quiet, take her back out to pony. If instead, you bring pony in, and she becomes frantic again, you just lost everything you gained by having her eventually learn to stand quietly


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## BettyT (Oct 30, 2015)

I fully get the "not broke" thing and there have been other issues and concerns with this mare over the past 2 years that I've owned her. She goes to rearing when she feels trapped. We were riding with a dressage coach who used too much force when teaching and that started the rearing. We have moved on and I thought recovered from that. 

Do you all think this is something I can work through on my own or should I get a western trainer to help? I really feel she needs to get sacked out once and for all, because neither of us are happy.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

It seems that tying the horse for 6 hrs didn't teach it a thing. I'll stick with working the horse at liberty and teaching patience that way.


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## BettyT (Oct 30, 2015)

Saddlebag said:


> It seems that tying the horse for 6 hrs didn't teach it a thing. I'll stick with working the horse at liberty and teaching patience that way.


Can you explain how liberty work will teach her that it is okay to leave her buddy? I have done a ton of groundwork at lib and she loves that but I'm not sure how it will help when she is raging and trying to run through me to get to her buddy.


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## Cherie (Dec 16, 2010)

The only place worse than tying in a stall is in cross-ties. Take HER away from the barn and tie her in a safe place. A stall is not safe. They paw the walls and beat and bang themselves up, can start kicking walls and throw themselves into walls. 

We do not tie one up all night unless we are on an over-night trail or hunting ride. We take them out away from the barn and the other horses and tie them to a nylon rope hanging down from a tree. Just make sure it has a good swivel snap in it. It may take 3 hours or three days. Just put them back in with their herd at night and take them out again the next day.

We have never had one (and some have been basket cases that went into self-destruct mode when separated) that did not figure out that they would be OK and that they would see their herd again. Once they figured that out, they could be separated and would maybe whinny once or twice and then cock a hind foot and patiently wait on us and their next job. All signs of anxiety would be gone. 

Just tie one up in a safe place where they cannot throw a fit and hurt themselves.


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## Joel Reiter (Feb 9, 2015)

BettyT said:


> Do you all think this is something I can work through on my own or should I get a western trainer to help? I really feel she needs to get sacked out once and for all, because neither of us are happy.


Smilie, Cherie and Foxhunter have given you a detailed plan to help you get over this issue. You need to understand that by getting those three to respond to your question, let alone agree on the solution, you have won the horseforum lottery. Therefore I urge you to follow their advice to the letter.

Now on to "sacked out once and for all." Once your horse understands that it can leave the pony and not die, you can start riding. Your goal will be to convince your horse that you are the leader and companion who will keep the horse safe. If you get a "western trainer" to do his thing, and if he knows what he is doing, the result will be that your horse will decide the trainer is his safe leader and companion and you will be at square one.

I gained this trust of my horse by using Clinton Anderson's groundwork techniques, which are thorough and easy to follow. There are other ways to do it. But ultimately, you are the trainer, If you hire a trainer, you will only succeed if the trainer trains you.


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## Smilie (Oct 4, 2010)

I do not train outside horses, thus my horses learn to accept being tied from weaning on.
I agree that a problem horse most likely should not be tied in a stall, nor just in any stall, BUT, there is always a but!
First, I have rubber matts in my stalls, with commercial stall fronts, that have no place for a horse to get hung up in. The sides of my stalls are lined with heavy planking, up to 10 feet. 
It might not work in all cases, esp with these horses that have never been taught to accept separation, but for me, tying a horse up in a stall, for an hour or so after working them, alone in the barn, works just fine.
Have done so for over 30 years, with never a horse getting hurt.
Many western training programs, having ridden at those barns, I know use that in training outside horses. All of them spend time tied in a stall
A real problem horse, like that halter pulling mare I bought off the track, gets tied solid to tree, with a body rope applied.
This horse probably needs a post or a tree-somewhere where she can't get into trouble, having extreme reactions. I also would not tie such a horse with just a halter, so that horse puts all the strain on it's neck, should it try to set back
Body rope, properly applied, is a great tool!
Yes, cross ties are a wreak waiting to happen, and should only be used on horses that are good being tied solid, for convenience, while you are there for grooming, etc. I don't use them
I also don't tie horses up over night, except on trail rides.

In fact, just a week or so ago, we went on a trail ride, setting up a base camp, for old time sakes, and doing day rides out of there.
Unfortunately, hubby does not ride much, except when we go out west, and his knees are starting to have problems
Bottomline, after one ride that involved a full day in the saddle, he could not ride the next day.
Fortunately, my son and his girl friend came out, so I went on another long ride with them, while hubby stayed in camp. I had no desire to pony hubby's horse all day, so his horse stayed in camp, tied up, by himself. He did fine- and this is out away from home, in the mountains, not at hom ein his 'comfort zone.

That is how important it is to put this acceptance of tying on a horse, as you never know when you might need it.
When we used to elk hunt in the mountains, we often left our horses tied to trees, several miles from camp, while we went on foot to some place on a slope where we could watch the elk as they came out of the trees, from higher up that mountain at dusk
Many times we returned to or horses , in the dark, still tied where we left them, riding back to camp in the dark


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

Tying in the stall is nothing like tying it outside and away from home.


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## WhattaTroublemaker (Aug 13, 2013)

Foxhunter said:


> Tying in the stall is nothing like tying it outside and away from home.


But, the same generalized concept applies. Tied is tied, is tied. They associate past training with new experiences. Smilie, my colt used to stand tied for an hour and a half after every training session. We went on an eight hour hike the other day with him in hand tied with a piece of twist tie on my belt, when we camped he stood tied to a tree for four hours, in the woods where he's never been before. He was alert and a little weary of his surroundings but the lessons on tying from before paid off and he eventually relaxed and cocked a foot. We left him there to rest while we went fishing and when we came back he never moved an inch.


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## Smilie (Oct 4, 2010)

Foxhunter said:


> Tying in the stall is nothing like tying it outside and away from home.


 True, but it helps build the foundation to do so, LOl, as I tie my horses all the time away from home, esp on over night pack trips, places you can hear elk bugling at night, and wolves howling!
I tie my horses at one day shows, where there are no stalls, to my trailer , while I watch many people load and un load their horses, between classes, or when showing another horse, as that one left tied to the trailer goes nutso I tie my horses up an noon on day rides, while I stretch out and relax, and watch some others eating, holding their horse the entire time because they can't tie him to a tree.

Tying in a stall might not be the best way to reform a horse that has never learned to accept separation, and thus goes ape, or even using some of the stalls I see people use, that any horse can climb or jump out of

It works for me, using it on the horses I raised, as part of their training program, and using well made stalls, not some 'Mickey Mouse' type of stall!
An example of the principle involved, is maybe clear by the following example.
If you do halter breaking correctly on a young horse, he grows up believing that a simple halter and lead shank controls him, even when he is full grown
You thus can lead that horse that way, even out of his comfort zone. Down to water on a trail ride, at a show, etc
However, once a horse tests that plain halter and lead shank, and finds that indeed he can pull away, you then have to use whatever it takes, to convince him otherwise.
Thus, a horse , who part of his training program, consists of being tied up alone for periods, in a stall, or the barn isle-take your pick, will also accept that tying solid away from home, out in the open.
Get a horse really broke at home, and you can ride that horse out alone, even the first time, without any calling, getting anxious, ect.
I know this works and that these skills transfer out of the comfort zone, as I have done it for more that 30 years with many horses!


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## Smilie (Oct 4, 2010)

Tied for a noon break



tied for the night



Tied along the trail


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## WhattaTroublemaker (Aug 13, 2013)

Smilie what a great looking hitching post!! How did you make it? I'm assuming telephone poles cemented into the ground? Ten inch spikes?


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## Smilie (Oct 4, 2010)

I can't take credit for building that hitching rail. Those are the rails put into various camp sites at the equestrian camping area at the Panther.
When you come to Alberta, you will need to ride there! 
The Panther is closer to us (west of Sundre ), then the Ya Ha, plus it it way less used than the Ya Ha camp ground, although I do like the Ya Ha, far as more places to ride, esp if you go any distance
Most recreational riders stay within an hour or two of the camp ground, thus if you ride any distance, esp packing in, you also often see no one.
In fact, when we were there a week or so ago,( at the Panther), we had the entire camp ground to ourselves, and also met no other riders on any of the trails
It is getting cold at night, but we had our tent with the stove, so were warm and cozy!


I like those hitching rails they put up, as you can see that iron rod that goes across, so horses don't go under it.


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## BettyT (Oct 30, 2015)

ZERO improvement so far. I have been tying my mare in her stall as directed (the longest session was 8 hours) - we live on a hay farm with no trees bigger than bushes and no hitching posts, etc.

I also turn the pony out in a separate paddock when I'm away where they are not within eyesight of each other. The screaming carries on the whole time and my mare does NOT give up. She is completely soaked and white with sweat on her neck and shoulders each time - completely frantic like she is going to die.

This seems far worse on her than living alone without a buddy. Does this tying method work for every case you have ever dealt with or is there any other last things I can try before giving up the pony?

Please help, no one is happy right now!


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## anndankev (Aug 9, 2010)

You might try sending Cherie a PM.


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## Smilie (Oct 4, 2010)

BettyT said:


> ZERO improvement so far. I have been tying my mare in her stall as directed (the longest session was 8 hours) - we live on a hay farm with no trees bigger than bushes and no hitching posts, etc.
> 
> I also turn the pony out in a separate paddock when I'm away where they are not within eyesight of each other. The screaming carries on the whole time and my mare does NOT give up. She is completely soaked and white with sweat on her neck and shoulders each time - completely frantic like she is going to die.
> 
> ...



Whether it works in all cases, Cheri can answer that better than I
I do know, it works by never having the horse become this extreme in the first place, teaching him separation, working by himself, leaving his buddies, just as routine as any other part of his training
Of course, my horses live with other horses, thus they learn to accept being separated when I work or ride them, as that is an intergal part of my training program
Hubby is usually off working, so I always rode my horses out by themselves, after I had them going well. Right from when I started them under saddle, there was zero tolerance for any calling, focusing on buddies in pasture etc
You have a horse that already, by your post, had a few issues under saddle way before that pony came along,
On top of that, I have no way of knowing if this horse had ever been in situation where she lived with other horses, yet was taught to accept temporary separation, when either worked or ridden
She is kinda like a man, stranded on an island by himself, who is wife says never cheated on her, before he was rescued and was faced with temptation.
Your mare will need time to learn that separation from pony does not mean she will again be a lone horse, as that is most liley a good part of her extreme reaction;, that, and it dos sound like she does not totally respect you under saddle, even before pony came along, and thus you have not become that leader she gets her confidence from , instead, when worked with
I would keep them apart full time for now. Only when your mare stops being so reactive, will she be in a receptive learning mode, and when you can work on those other holes, which are compounding your problem


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## 7reining7training7gaining (Nov 7, 2015)

Ugh/: Well for one don't feel bad about protecting yourself and using that whip. 

Keep working with that mare everyday. Put on the pressure when she acts bad. Once she has a good day, pony around that pony for a little.


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## thesilverspear (Aug 20, 2009)

You said the horse was at a big boarding barn before. How was the horse when she was at that place? Did she show this extreme separation anxiety then? Was she overly attached to any buddy?

I've seen horses, who previously never showed any indications of separation anxiety when in one kind of living situation, suddenly develop it when moved to a different situation.


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## LoveTheSaddlebreds (Jul 9, 2009)

BettyT said:


> ZERO improvement so far. I have been tying my mare in her stall as directed (the longest session was 8 hours) - we live on a hay farm with no trees bigger than bushes and no hitching posts, etc.
> 
> I also turn the pony out in a separate paddock when I'm away where they are not within eyesight of each other. The screaming carries on the whole time and my mare does NOT give up. She is completely soaked and white with sweat on her neck and shoulders each time - completely frantic like she is going to die.
> 
> ...


Liken this to getting sober from a drug addiction - it gets WAY worse before it gets better, but everyone can agree that it needs to be done. Of course the drug addict seems to work fine while on drugs, but their whole life is centered around their drug of choice. Once they're forced to get clean, they go through withdrawals. The withdrawals are awful and make them feel worse than they've ever been before. They don't want to go through with it and even people around them will start to feel sympathetic "If they're going through all THIS is getting clean REALLY better for them?". But once the drugs are out of their system, they feel much better and can start to be rehabilitated and counseled. Only after they go through withdrawals can they learn to function correctly - not before. 

It's the same with your mare. It's gonna get a HECK of a lot worse than it's ever been before because you've never faced the problem head on before. It would be so much easier to quit now and go back to the more peaceful life of her being in charge. But you have to get through this now, and it will only be easier from then on. Otherwise, your horse will always have this problem, and one day it will be a safety issue.


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