# Getting SO frustrated with feeling judged...



## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

Don't feel judged at the barn, there are some bigger girls at my barn and they can REALLY REALLY ride very well and they are eventing and jumping. I'm 20lbs over, could probably lose 30 to be 'healthy' and it does bug me and I do try to at least not gain anymore. What I find good is to start developing habits, they say if you do something for 21 days straight that you can develop a habit. 

So lets think about what you're already doing, chores at the barn, good! Now start thinking about doing them faster. What I used to do was run not walk, lift more, push more. Actively think MORE. 

Once my kids (little darlings:shock go back to school I will be running in the mornings again.....not looking forward to it, but going to try! 

Carbs are my nemesis also, not the sweets necessarily, but the breads and cereals. Try adding more protein in your diet, like egg whites, to make you feel fuller. 

Good luck!


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## bitinsane (Jun 5, 2013)

Count calories, count calories, count calories!!! Can't stress that enough. If you are taking in less calories than your body needs to sustain it's current weight, you will lose weight. It's simple. These low carb diets and such are a bunch of crap in my book. if you want to loose it right, count your calories. I've lost 50 lbs using My Fitness Pal . com. It tells you based on your height/weight/activity level how many calories you should be eating a day. As you lose weight it will lower your allotted caloric intake for the day.


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## xlionesss (Jan 30, 2012)

I do it as fast as I possibly can! I do 10 or 11 stalls, but have to do shavings everyday. We clean each water bucket daily, so that's 20 buckets I lift full of water, too. Of course when I get off work, all I want to do it sleep so I consider Saturdays and Sundays my work-out days LOL

Its not even a problem with me being full or not, unless I'm bursting at the seams and bored, I'll most likely eat. I'm not a chocolate fan or anything, I just really enjoy actual food.

I think I may start going for walks around my neighborhood.
Our neighborhood isn't populated heavily, but I'm extremely self-concious, so I'm terrified of running in public. It's scary for me to even walk because I feel like people are staring outside their windows at me and laughing....
Not to mention my habit of fast food.... :'(



ETA: I've heard about myfitness pal..maybe I should try it. 
Thanks!


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## GamingGrrl (Jan 16, 2013)

Ugh. I feel the same way. I'm 5'9, 180 lbs and every time I go to a show I swear everyone is like 5'7, and 120 lbs MAX. It makes me feel like a whale even though I'm not super overweight. It doesn't help that I have a large butt and thighs.

I'm subbing so I can get some ideas too!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Diets are not universal. A diet/exercise that works for one person may not work for someone else.

How you carry your weight also plays a part - dont look at the scale so much but look at how you feel and how your clothes fit.

Definitely start with adding in exercise - at least 30 min per day, ideally an hour. I'm not talking about mucking stalls or anything either. While those activities can burn calories, they're not reliable. Find something that you enjoy doing, otherwise you won't stick with it. Dance, hike, bike, run - all great things! I lift weights once or twice a week, go to Zumba about 5 times a week, dance once a week, and ride like 6 times a week. 

If you get bored, DO SOMETHING. Get your bike out, ride your horse, hike with your horse in hand, go for a run, do an exercise tape. Whatever. Just move!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## xlionesss (Jan 30, 2012)

GamingGrrl said:


> Ugh. I feel the same way. I'm 5'9, 180 lbs and every time I go to a show I swear everyone is like 5'7, and 120 lbs MAX. It makes me feel like a whale even though I'm not super overweight. It doesn't help that I have a *large butt and thighs.*
> 
> I'm subbing so I can get some ideas too!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



My problem, right here. They're not TERRIBLE, and I'm decently proportioned, but my thighs and hips are large.
I wear a small/medium shirt but a size 13 pants....


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## bitinsane (Jun 5, 2013)

DancingArabian said:


> Diets are not universal. A diet/exercise that works for one person may not work for someone else.
> 
> How you carry your weight also plays a part - dont look at the scale so much but look at how you feel and how your clothes fit.
> 
> ...


Restricting caloric intake IS universal lol. It's basic knowledge. Eat less calories than your body needs to sustain its current weight and you lose.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

MyFitnessPal.com. It tracks your calorie intake and your excercise. You put in your goal weight and how much you weigh now and it calculates what your caloric intake should be to attain your goal weight in a reasonable amount of time. I love it because I am awful about diets.

I gained 80lbs between September and mid-October of last year. My eating habits didn't change (in fact, if anything, they got better) and my activity level didn't change. I went from about 170lbs (but a solid, 170lbs) to 250lbs (I'm 5'7"). Finally, in March, I was able to go to my doctor to figure out what was going on. After running a battery of tests, the best they could come up with was that I am borderline diabetic (or pre-diabetic) and had gallstones. So, she prescribed Metformin and said it would help me lose weight. I lost about ten lbs in three months.

Recently, I decided to give myself a year to get back to my high school weight (155lbs). I've been using MyFitnessPal.com (they have an app that is super easy to use) and it makes me very conscious of what I'm eating and how active I am. We don't eat out hardly at all anymore (maybe once every two weeks) and when we go shopping, I make sure to not buy anything that isn't healthy (no potato chips, cookies, candy, etc). We also have started walking every day. When my boyfriend and I can go together, we take both our dogs. When it's just me, I alternate which dog I take. As soon as I get a job (was fired from my last job literally for no reason at the en of July), I'm also going to start working with Aires more and work toward getting him ready to show WP next summer. I'm also going to see if my BO will let me help her muck stalls on my days off (my barn is all full-care, so the BO cleans all the stalls and does all the waters). I would love to do Zumba (it looks like so much fun!), but I can't afford classes and I'm extremely self-conscious. I don't care about when I'm walking or riding, but the thought of jumping/dancing around and all my flub bouncing around seriously makes me want to vomit. I'm a size 22W pant and a 1X/2X in shirts (also a size 42G/H in a bra). 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

xlionesss said:


> unless I'm bursting at the seams and bored, I'll most likely eat.


That's your answer. Find something to keep you busy. Also, eat whatever you want, BUT... Before you eat that *whatever you want*, gorge yourself on a healthy salad (beware evil dressings) and tons of water, then when you don't want to eat anymore, allow yourself the *whatever you want*. Make eating the good stuff hard 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## xlionesss (Jan 30, 2012)

I just downloaded the fitness pal app on my phone, heres to hoping! 
I want to be 130 or so. I don't necessarily want to be what I was at 115, but I don't want to be this....

Thank you for the advice, everyone.
I noticed that when I do track what I've eaten throughout the day, I tend to eat less. 
For reference:

This was me January 2012(115)...












This is me now(160-ish)...


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## Kotori (Jun 18, 2012)

I really like the cooking light magazine. If you drink coke products, or if anyone you know drinks coke products, you can get a year subscription for a low amount of points. I love the recipes in it, and it actually tastes good! First, make some healthy, lower calorie snacks, and eat constantly. Eating small meals keeps your body working, and as long as it isn't loaded with high calorie items, it'll be less calories in the long run. If you have a wii, the wii-fit really works. If not, set aside some time in the morning- 15 minutes or so, and just do quick exercises. In marching band we would do the alphabet with our feet and not touch the ground- you start feeling it after 'L'. We'd also do jazzercise- grapevines and punches and arm circles.

Most of all, don't stress over it. don't force yourself to do something you don't like- replace it with something you do like.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

bitinsane said:


> Restricting caloric intake IS universal lol. It's basic knowledge. Eat less calories than your body needs to sustain its current weight and you lose.


Yes but diet plans are not. The OP was looking for a diet plan, and those don't work for everyone.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## xlionesss (Jan 30, 2012)

Well, diet and exercise. I'm not looking for a set plan, just things to avoid/cut out...
I'm not sure why, I already sort of know the answers. Just stop boredom eating!


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## Joe4d (Sep 1, 2011)

eat less exercise, more but mainly eat less. strength training would probably help as well. There is no magic.
Couple rules that can help you eat less.
Eat nothing white.
eat nothing you cant look at and tell what it came from.


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## xdressage (Jul 14, 2013)

I lost 55 lbs in 6 months from eating 1200 calories a day, with one cheat-day a week, where i ate whatever i wanted to. No exercise at all. Probably could have done it twice as fast without the cheat-days, but they make it easier to get through the rest of the week without cheating a little every day. The first 3 months i lost over 2 pounds almost every day, that was SO motivating! And i was only 10 pounds overweight, so it wasn't because i had like 100 lbs to loose of.

You can pretty much eat anything you want to, as long as you stay on/under 1200 calories a day. You could live of chocolate and still loose weight, but you would quickly find out that 1200 calorie's worth of chocolate(or other unhealthy stuff) isn't very much and won't keep you full throughout the day, so you start eating healthy and filling foods almost automatically. 

I apologize for my english, i hope you understand. Good luck with your weight-loss!


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## xlionesss (Jan 30, 2012)

Joe4d said:


> eat less exercise, more but mainly eat less. strength training would probably help as well. There is no magic.
> Couple rules that can help you eat less.
> Eat nothing white.
> eat nothing you cant look at and tell what it came from.



Joe, I swear LOL


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## xlionesss (Jan 30, 2012)

xdressage said:


> I lost 55 lbs in 6 months from eating 1200 calories a day, with one cheat-day a week, where i ate whatever i wanted to. No exercise at all. Probably could have done it twice as fast without the cheat-days, but they make it easier to get through the rest of the week without cheating a little every day. The first 3 months i lost over 2 pounds almost every day, that was SO motivating! And i was only 10 pounds overweight, so it wasn't because i had like 100 lbs to loose of.
> 
> You can pretty much eat anything you want to, as long as you stay on/under 1200 calories a day. You could live of chocolate and still loose weight, but you would quickly find out that 1200 calorie's worth of chocolate(or other unhealthy stuff) isn't very much and won't keep you full throughout the day, so you start eating healthy and filling foods almost automatically.
> 
> I apologize for my english, i hope you understand. Good luck with your weight-loss!



Oh wow, that's great!!
Your english is perfect.


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## Joe4d (Sep 1, 2011)

xlionesss said:


> Joe, I swear LOL



not sure what that meant, I was being serious. eat less exercise more.

Avoid white... mostly high carb and overly processed,,, think about white foods, wonder breads, french fries, processed quicky rice, mostly all over processed and bad.
Avoid foods you look at and cant tell what it is,,, also generally all your bad foods. you can look at a string bean, apple, fish, or chicken leg and say yep know where that came from. where the heck does a twinky come from ?


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## LouieThePalomino (Dec 15, 2012)

You dont look overweighy to me lol you weigh less than me! But then again im taller so...

Abyways at yhe start of the summer I weighed almost 180 lbs and I weighed myself a week ago and im now 165. And I feel great! My secret was going to the barn almost every day over thr summer and doing chores plus riding for 8+ hours a day. So maybe you can ride a bit more and longer? And helping out around the barn more too. I used to go to the feed store with the BO and help lift the bags ect... And I have really built up endurance from it all.

I also have the problem of eating when im bored so the fitness pal helps too! Good luck!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

Eat less, move more, repeat as needed...but most of us don't find it so simple. You'll have friends who will encourage you to go out to eat, or work that prevents you from running, or you hate running and find it hard to find something you enjoy enough to move A LOT. And meanwhile, cutting back in eating results in your body becoming more efficient, and...well, as someone who has had a lifetime battle with fat, I wish it was all just willpower.

When I cut back too much on eating, I get severe headaches. Once they start, they will stay for 12 hours and 800 mg of ibuprofen just makes the headache laugh. I love jogging, and jogged for 40 years before taking a tumble off Mia and hurting my back. Started up again in March, and have finally healed enough after 4+ years to keep jogging, but starting again at 55 is a challenge.

Add in work schedules, environment, health, etc...and it isn't as simple as it sounds. The underlined rule works, but it isn't always completely practical.


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## xlionesss (Jan 30, 2012)

Lol Joe, I didn't mean anything by it. I just thought it was funny how you stated it, though I do understand what you're saying now. Well, I've done well today! I still am able to consume almost 1,000 calories because of all the work/exercise I've had, yay!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

it is not always about what you DON"T eat, but about what you do eat. If you insist that you eat two vegetables and two fruits every day, always, then you can often pretty much eat what you want beyond that. I don't mean go crazy and binge, but as long as you make yourself eat the fruits and veggies first, the rest will often fall into place.

I can become a very compulsive overeater, but as long as I am actually eating veggies and fruits, I find that I am not nearly as bad with all the rest.

Try it. do two weeks where no matter what you eat two veggies (can be a salad and a steamed veggie) and two fruits , raw, daily. no matter what. even if you are not hungry.


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## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

I've worked with a lot of different personal trainers, and been on a lot of different types of eating plans. 

Exercise is very important (making sure you do both cardio and weights) but WHAT YOU EAT is about 80% of the battle. What you eat is extrememly important!

I myself am guilty of snacking because I'm bored. Either give yourself something healthy to snack on (baby carrots, celery sticks, broccoli florets ...... with NO dressing) or else give your fingers something to do (learn to knit in front of the TV, or do scrapbooking, or massage your BF's shoulders, LOL). 

Remember that CHANGE takes TIME. You took, what, 7 months to put on the extra weight? So expect it to take 7 months to get rid of it. There is no rush!

Baby steps --> replace one can of pop with a bottle of water the first week. 
Replace the French Fries with fresh fruit or veggies the second week. 
Switch from white bread to whole grain bread the third week. 
Etc. 

Eat small meals throughout the day. Don't let yourself have a big dinner plate; instead use a medium-sized salad plate. You eat less if you have a smaller plate!

Have veggies with every single meal; and do not load them with butter or dressing. The "extras" are what loads on calories, so use them very sparingly!

If you go out to eat, when you get your food, immdiately ask for a to-go box and put half of your meal in the to-go box (because they always give waaaaay too much in restaurants). 

Remember that every day is a NEW day. So what if you ate 5 candy bars the day before? Today is a new day!

Go ahead and LET yourself have a little splurge every day. Instead of eating a huge piece of chocolate cake, have a small sliver. That way, you still satisfy your sweet tooth, without over-doing it. If you constantly deny yourself of yummy things, you'll binge on it eventually. 

Don't think of losing weight as a "diet". It's impossible to be on a diet forever. Instead, make PERMANENT lifestlye changes. Encourage your BF to make the same changes so that you are encouraged when you are around him too. 

And lastly, but most importantly --> DON'T GIVE A RATS @$$ to what other people think. Do what you need to do for YOU. Don't do it for anyone else.


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## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

Oh, and after you have eaten something, but you still feel hungry, ALWAYS make yourself wait 15 to 20 minutes before eating more. It's takes that long for your brain to register that you are full. It also is useful if you make yourself drink a big glass of water too. That fluid will help you feel full too.


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## xlionesss (Jan 30, 2012)

Wow, great advice. Thanks! 
French fries are definitely my weakness...
I swear I can eat 2 larges and skip the burger but still be happy LOL


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

if you have your veggie and fruit portion, then by all means, eat the french fries. 
you will start wanting them less. it jsut happens.


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## Kavala (Aug 27, 2013)

I feel the same way. I ride an Arabian and i'm always afraid of people laughing at me because she's so petite (but strong) and i'm not skinny. I, luckily, board her at a friends house and shes always nice to me, but when I go camping I feel judged. All the other riders are so skinny! And i exercise pretty regularly, I ride at least 4 times a week.


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## fourleggedfriendly (Jun 8, 2012)

I came in to say basically what everyone else has said. Download MyFitnessPal, which it looks like you've done-- it really holds you accountable as you get to see the nutritional value on the stuff you're eating. Eat smaller meals throughout the day. Gradually remove the bad stuff from your diet. Don't try to eliminate all at once. It's just overwhelming that way and, if you're anything like me, it'll just make you more likely to give up altogether. Also, if you've just eaten and you feel the need to eat something more, drink water. 

Lastly, people can be so rude! You look fine to me. Don't let others' insecurities with themselves muddle your thoughts of yourself. As long as you're healthy, that's all that matters.


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## LeafOnTheWind (Oct 17, 2012)

I'm sure I'm repeating some of what others have said, but I just wanted to throw in my 2cents.

First off, make sure you are losing weight for yourself, if you are doing it for other people you are more likely to give up when it gets tough. 

Secondly, you can't view this as a diet. Diets don't work. You have to make permanent changes to the way you eat, or else you will just put all the weight back on (or more!). 

I recommend you look up clean eating, and see if that is right for you. Clean eating means no processed foods, and foods with extra additives. A clean diet consists of lots of fruits and veggies, whole unprocessed grains, whole meats (not ground processed meats), and nuts and seeds. (I'm sure there is some things I'm missing so I recommend you look it up if you are interested) 

You don't have to change your diet all at once, take small steps. For example, one week you can drop soda, the next chips and pretzels and such, the next fast food, and so on. 

Dropping foods from your diet does not mean you can never eat them again, allow yourself to have a small indulgence every week or so. That could be a slice of cheesecake from your favorite bakery, or maybe a dinner out. 

Don't eat when you are doing something else, sit down, and just eat. Eat slowly, and focus on every bite. Think about the taste and texture of your food. This will help you feel satisfied on a smaller amount of food. 

I'm not sure of the nature of your eating disorder, but if you think calorie counting will cause your ED to reappear, I recommend you avoid it. Instead practice intuitive eating, this means that you eat only when you are truly hungry (not just bored), and you stop as soon as you feel full (not stuffed, just satisfied). It takes some time for you to get in tune with this, but once you do this really does work.

Find a form of exercise you really enjoy, be it hiking, biking, kickboxing, running, dance, whatever you love. Maybe give heavy lifting a try. It won't cause you to bulk, it will just tone you up, and give your metabolism a boost. It's also really great for your body, and can be an amazing confidence booster! 

Almost forgot! Drink lots of water, aim for a gallon a day. If you are not drinking enough water, your body will retain what you do drink, causing you to hold onto excess weight. 

Lastly, don't give up. Losing weight is hard, but it is worth it. I hope you find this helpful, good luck


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## SEAmom (Jan 8, 2011)

Eating fewer calories than you take in is okay as long as you're careful about it. That's a fine line to walk between losing weight (you'll lose muscle before fat, unless you're also exercising) and starving your body. When you starve the body, it goes into survival mode, which prevents you from losing weight (especially fat) and leads to other health issues quickly.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bitinsane (Jun 5, 2013)

SEAmom said:


> Eating fewer calories than you take in is okay as long as you're careful about it. That's a fine line to walk between losing weight (you'll lose muscle before fat, unless you're also exercising) and starving your body. When you starve the body, it goes into survival mode, which prevents you from losing weight (especially fat) and leads to other health issues quickly.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


my fitness pal calculates all that for you based on your energy level and it also adds allotted calories based on the exercise you add in daily.


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## mrstorres2566 (Apr 25, 2013)

I use MFP and watch my carbs. I lost about 29 lbs. Still got a bunch to go tho.


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## SEAmom (Jan 8, 2011)

I've used it, too. I was adding that, whether someone uses my fitness pal or not.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## xlionesss (Jan 30, 2012)

YOU GUYS!!! I've lost 3 pounds in 5 days!!
All I've done is watched my eating habits and been trying to exercise more! I'm super excited just because I was expecting to get on the scale and it be exactly the same- I haven't even really been eating much less than normal, just watching my portions and the "boredom snacking". I've been getting in 30 minutes or so of exercise a day, so its definitely been helping!

OH GOSH I'M SO HAPPY


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## TessaMay (Jul 26, 2013)

I haven't read through everything, but I did notice the pictures you posted and your really shouldn't be so self-conscious. You don't look fat to me, but I know that body changes feel much more significant to the person who lives in the body than to anyone else. 

The most important thing is to be healthy, which leads me to what I would suggest as a "diet". If you munch on things when you are bored, then make them healthy things like fruits and veggies. You're not going to gain weight by munching on veggies and if they aren't as tasty to you as other snacks, maybe that's a good thing :wink: Make sure that every meal you eat is made at home, not frozen pre-made, out of a box or can or fast food, but made at home from whole ingredients. It's more work, but so much healthier for you. Use lots of veggies, very little dairy or meat and less carbs. You can still have some pasta, bread or whatever carbs you like, just make sure it is not the main thing in your diet.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Congratulations on the weightloss!!


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## polowrapfiend (Nov 7, 2013)

if you feel like people are judging you then i wouldnt consider that to be a great barn to be at. my barn is like a lil family & there are a cpl of us bigger girls there and its never been an issue, ive recently started using weight watchers and i love it. i never feel hungry & it encourages you to eat. ive lost 5 pds already and its only been a week. im trying to only weigh myself every two weeks to give it time to work plus i work at my barn so i count that as my work out as well as my lessons. (with another job no time for real workouts lol ) & that is working just fine. i always count my ride as a workout, because it def is. dont let anyone make you feel inferior about your weight, because 160 really is not that bad. i cant wait to be 160 lol just concentrate on your love of riding instead of others opinions and eat healthy  its not so much about counting calories as it is changing your lifestyle.


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## CowboysDream (Nov 12, 2011)

You said you had an eating disorder so be careful with counting calories. It becomes all too easy to eat too few calories in an attempt to lose a few extra pounds. If it becomes a bit of a trigger for you then stop. 

I read an article once where it said to make doing bad things harder and good things easier. Don't buy those foods that you overeat on if you can help it. Or make a rule you will eat your portion and then drink a glass of water or go for a walk around the block. Then if you still want it after have a bit more.


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## howrsegirl123 (Feb 19, 2012)

I know you mentioned you don't want a book, but please, please read The Maker's Diet by Jordan Rubin. He talks about eating the way your body is designed to eat, and getting back to optimal health. You will get to your healthy weight, feel better, and be free from most health problems. Please give it a try! I'm working on it right now! It's great!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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