# anyone else have a lot of anxiety about riding?



## Ariel (Nov 19, 2010)

When I was a teenager I would ride the horses other people were scared of. Now that I'm "all grown up" and getting back into riding after a long break, my heart beats so hard from fear and anxiety it almost takes all the fun out of it. I keep riding because if I can break through that fear (by a lot of effort) I remember why it was so fun. I used to barrel race bareback but now I only walk my horse and occasionally trot. I've never even cantered my current horse because the last time I tried was the only time he ever bucked and threw me. I'm embarrassed to say that I've become a wimp , but I'm trying to fix it. My horse is fine and hardly ever spooks at all, even when cars whiz past. Is anyone else in this situation...what do you do about it?


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

HI Ariel,

I am not in that postition but I don't have a former me to compare myself too. I just am what I am , now. I am not a brave rider, never was, so I don't have to keep dissing myself for not being what I used to be. You'll have to just cut that out and start from where you are. Don't waste your time in the past.

If your horse bucked at the canter and threw you, and now you won't canter, then you are not looking at the "elephant in the room". You will someday have to face it. It may be that that bad experience was just a fluke and when you ask for a canter next time, nothing bad will happen. But I bet you are remembering that bad experience and reliving it, over and over.
EVERY ride on this forum, and every rider whose smart enough to be honest with themselves is afraid, at times or all the time. Me too!
If I had been bucked off at the canter, I would be really loathe to try it again. However, you will not want to be held back by what might happen. 
One day, just surprise yourself and go canter.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

rereading my post, it sounds kind of harsh. Kind of "snap out of it!" and a slap on the face. Sorry, not meant to be like that. Just that I do feel afraid, but that's ok. You will pass through the anxiety and on to other scary things.


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## Ariel (Nov 19, 2010)

I didn't think you were saying "snap out of it" because you said everyone has fear sometimes. I know I just have to face it and do it anyway if I want to get over it. Some of it is remembering things I used to know and getting back into practice. I hate letting fear dictate what I can or can't do, so I try not to give in to it. Good advice tinyliny and I love your avatar. I will pass through this and go on to other scary things :?.


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## mbender (Jul 22, 2009)

I used to be like you. I used to ride when I was younger with no care in the world and no fear at all! But now that I'm almost 40 um things scare me a bit more. I'm very old school. I don't wear a helmet but that's my choice and I know the repercussions. Everytime I went out to ride I would shake, sweat, and get butterflies in my stomach. It was bad. But now that I have complete and utter trust in my mare, I don't worry and get all flustered anymore. It might get like that when it comes time to break my filly but I will just try and focus and breath. How old are you now? The biggest reason older people who start out again get anxiety attacks is we are more aware of the dangers, we have more responsibilities (work, children etc...) So we need to be more careful not to get injured. The more you ride the more you get to know your horse and the more you learn, the better it will get. I'm sure you know this but what you feel is usually transferred to your horse. So remember that and try to focus on positive outcomes. If you are nervous to trot, canter then stay at a walk until you feel ready for the next step. Nobody is pushing you except you. The more you try and rush yourself to do things that scare you the worse your anxiety will be. Stay calm, breath deep and do your best to enjoy it. Just a question for you: when you ride do you watch where you want to go or watch your horses head/ears?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ariel (Nov 19, 2010)

When I ride I guess I do both. For the most part I look where I'm going but I look at the head and ears sometimes, too. You got me. I'm 38 1/2 years old and I know I don't instantly bounce back from an injury like I used to. If I were to get hurt I wouldn't be able to care for my family responsibilities and would have to inconvenience someone to help me. My husband says I think too much and now that I'm seeing this all written out I see he could be right. Hate that when that happens


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Ariel, as we get older and have more responsibilities, we get more cautious. It's only when we're young, have little to no responsibilities, and can spring back easily from injuries, that we're more reckless.

I was the 'go to' girl for everyone who had a green horse. I'd ride anything. I've been tossed, kicked, trampled on, etc. When I was in my 20s, I sprang right back.

Now that I'm in my 50s I don't bounce anymore; I splat and break things. Plus, I have a mortgage, job, and the welfare of all my animals on my shoulders. If I get seriously injured, it's not just me who's screwed. Those things make us more cautious as we age. It's not being a coward, it's knowing that we're mortal and we break.

My fear is mounting, not riding. Once I'm actually ON the horse, I'm still pretty much the rider I remember, except that I don't willingly get on the green or spooky ones any longer. I take as many precautions as I can to make sure my ride is as safe as possible, while still remembering that these are flight animals with minds of their own.

I got badly hurt about 3 1/2 years ago, while mounting. I thought I was afraid to ride, when it turned out I was just afraid to mount up. I worked through it, and although I occasionally have a small moment of involuntary fear, it hasn't stopped me.

If you don't feel comfortable going faster than a trot, then don't do it. You're not out to prove anything to anyone except yourself.

If you feel you can't work through your issues alone, then find a good trainer and take some lessons on some quiet schoolies. That's what I had to do before I was willing to start riding my own horses again.

There's no shame in getting older and realizing you're breakable. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.


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## Ariel (Nov 19, 2010)

I'm working with the farrier and vet to make sure Arie's health is where it needs to be. Come spring I'll start riding based on what the old boy is capable of. If he's still ok to canter we'll work up to it. I use deep breathing techniques to calm my nerves cause I know I'll get him worked up if I don't.


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## Ariel (Nov 19, 2010)

Thank you Speed Racer. I guess I have been a bit ashamed about being older and breakable.


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

I'm in my 20s and I have anxiety issues. I am an anxious person, and I do get quite nervous about riding, thankfully I forget it once I am on. I think its an individual thing, some people are nervous in planes, or cars, and perhaps some people are just nervous on horses. 

I just sort of tell my self "no fear" and swallow it and get on.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I have found that if I take out a rider who is less experienced than me, I become the "leader" and feel much less fear. I am busy babysitting the beginner and helping them with their fears, so kinda forget my own.

Ariel, my avatar is my own artwork. Can view more on my thread
in the artwork section. Something like eguine ink drawings . . .


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

Try not to worry about it too much. I was anything but confident when I got back into riding at age 40. I was much more concerned about being able to work and pay my bills. I found that, if I took things slowly and just pushed my comfort level a little bit each time, I began to trust my horse more and the opposite happened along with it. Three years later, I can't get much more confident without getting cocky. Just give it time. One day you'll wake up you'll want to go play instead of worry about getting hurt.


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## coffeeaddict (Jun 18, 2010)

I know exactly how you feel. I rode for many years as a child and then as a teenager and I was fearless. I had perfect balance, my leg muscles did exactly what I told them to do, and I thought I was hot stuff on a horse. 

Fast forward after a 12 year break from riding and I'm now 28 and my current horse scared the crap out of me when I first got her. 

Of course that didn't help matters because she knew she scared me and took advantage of that. The first month I had her I got butterflies and jitters every time I mounted up. I knew this horse was untrained, and I knew I wasn't a good rider anymore, muscle memory had left me a long time ago and I was starting from square one again. The danger in that gave me pretty bad anxiety and took all the fun away from riding.

Cantering was the worst trigger for me. My mare had very rusty breaks at first so that just made it worse. 

The only cure was to force myself to do it anyway. Everyday got better, and now after having her 8 months we are finally becoming a good team. I don't get butterflies anymore and I'm confident when I ride her. Repetition was the thing that worked. I think as you continue to keep riding it will work for you too eventually. Hang in there.


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## ~*~anebel~*~ (Aug 21, 2008)

Being young and stupid is unfortunately a phase we all seem to go through 

Luckily, I didn't break anything in mine. However, now that I am older, even without taking a break from riding, I find I am far more cautious with what I will get on. It's a common thing for people to grow up and then for it to finally sink in that the 1500lb wild animals we love and care for actually might be dangerous.

What I find works the best is to find your "safe horse". Find something that you feel so safe on, who might even be a bit beneath you, to really let you get your confidence back. For one lady I know this involved finding a horse who was so old he would walk, barely trot and was only physically capable of cantering on one lead for about a stride and half. The only method the horse had left of harming anyone was falling over  And he was an absolute sweetheart.

If you are scared of this horse, what is the point of owning it? Find something you feel really safe on and can learn to ride on. When your skills improve, you will find it easier to get on tougher and tougher horses.

Good luck!


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## MaggiStar (Mar 19, 2010)

The older people around find themselves relaxing when they ride with younger riders(not stupid young but gutsy young say late teens early twenties)As they are going to want to canter jump etc so ou kinda go with it


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## newhorsemom (Jun 20, 2008)

Great thread! I had a horse growing up and rode bareback daily. We'd ride through the neighborhood, to the local arena, the beach (jumping logs too!), trails, you name it - all bareback! I quit riding in my early 20's when my horse passed away and since then I got married and started a family. I'm now in my mid 40's and have a 9 year old daughter who has a horse of her own (I thought we could do it fairly cheap - what was I thinking????). I now find myself nervous and afraid when I ride, which is pretty seldom I admit. Luckily for us we have an instructor who comes to the barn and gives my daughter lessons and I am hoping to start lessons myself. The instructor is aware of my fear and said that there is a lot we can work on at a walk and if I want try another gait we can do it. In the lessons she gives my daughter they work on moving with the horse, staying relaxed, staying balanced, using your seat, and having fun. She always works on those things but she will mix up the lesson and she keeps it interesting and different every time. When I listen and try to remember the suggestions given to my daughter when I ride I find it really helps me to relax and it is more fun. Unfortunately for me we can't quite afford lessons for both of us but I figure maybe once a month I could take one. I haven't had one yet, but I plan to one of these days.


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## CharliGirl (Nov 16, 2009)

I was, and still am, quite anxious about riding. After doing lots of groundwork with my horses (both to aid in their training and to help me feel more comfortable around them), I can ride with less anxiety. I was given Kubie, who is a been-there-done-everything horse...he has helped me more than anything with my riding fears. He is the kind of horse that will take care of his rider, and won't pull any tricks on you.

If riding is something you love to do, but are afraid, I might suggest finding an understanding trainer and a calm, experienced horse. Putting yourself in danger with a bucking horse is simply not worth the risk of developing more fear than you already have. It is much easier to build more confidence when you already have a bit laid down.


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## Tobyness (Nov 16, 2010)

My mom is very much the same as you are. She rode when she was younger and was pretty fearless. When i started taking lessons, she did too and was jumping 2' courses while i was still learning to canter. (she started her lessons long after i did). We bought our first horse, a 16.3hh appendix who was a gentle giant and she rode him in lessons all the time. I was scared of him cause he was huge and i had a few bad falls off of another bigger horse that was too advanced for me. We were out riding him one day in the indoor when someone walked past the door outside and spooked him while my mom was dilly-dallying around, caught her off guard and she fell off onto the wall and hurt her back. Since then, shes been very nervous about riding. She would ride an older quieter western mare from time to time, then get on Toby and just walk with maybe a little trot. She never really got over that fear.

I have my own anxiety too, usually going into the show ring. At home im pretty ok, i am scared to death when my BF is driving his mare...not sure why, it just freaks me out that something will go terribly wrong. Theres all sorts of little things that make me nervous, stupid things too that i shouldnt be nervous about. Then once i do it, i just laugh like 'really? i was nervous about that?' 

I think we all have a little anxiety about something or other when it comes to horses, and thats part of why we stick with it. Cause if we can get thru it, its like an achievment of sorts.


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## kat44bg (Sep 2, 2010)

I am 26 and have been riding for 15 years and training for about 9 years. I find that I "think" a lot more before I do something now. Every year I seem to be more and more cautious. I don't have a fear, but I do have clients in their 40's that do have it. I have noticed it is pretty normal. Especially if something has happened. My advice is to maybe find a trainer to work with you and take baby steps to get to where you more comfortable again. My clients have much better confidence when I am there. Sometimes they need a little push to get through it too.


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

Ariel said:


> When I was a teenager I would ride the horses other people were scared of. Now that I'm "all grown up" and getting back into riding after a long break, my heart beats so hard from fear and anxiety it almost takes all the fun out of it. I keep riding because if I can break through that fear (by a lot of effort) I remember why it was so fun. I used to barrel race bareback but now I only walk my horse and occasionally trot. I've never even cantered my current horse because the last time I tried was the only time he ever bucked and threw me. I'm embarrassed to say that I've become a wimp , but I'm trying to fix it. My horse is fine and hardly ever spooks at all, even when cars whiz past. Is anyone else in this situation...what do you do about it?


I developed anxiety after I was thrown. The only way I got over it was I attended some clinics and I had to be on the horse all day and couldn't get off. That really built up my confidence. I also started riding with ****** as it helped me stick to the saddle better and didn't feel like I was slipping around.


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## horsegirl15 (Mar 16, 2010)

I have that problem when it comes to bareback riding. I used to be very comfortable with it at a walk until at my first show we were doing ride a buck and had to trot bareback which was my first time doing that. My horse ended up dumping me on some ground poles and i was terrified to get back on. It was almost a year before i got back on a horsebare back. It was on the smallest horse there and i held on so tight my knuckles turned white. So whenever i ride her i get on bareback and i can finally do a little trot now but im still to scared to get on other horses bareback.


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## Ariel (Nov 19, 2010)

It's sort of nice to see that this is a pretty common situation for a lot of us. It seems like I need to push myself to ride even if I may not feel like it at the time. I have noticed that the more I ride, the more I want to ride. My horse isn't the problem, because he's a real sweetheart. Previous horses maybe. My horsie grandmother who raised me was of the belief that you get a horse that is too much for you (so I did) and you just learn to ride it. Aaaagh! Maybe that would work for certain people but...


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## Supermane (Sep 23, 2007)

I think the best way to feel more confident is to just ride, period. Is anyone you know willing to maybe control the lounge while your riding so you'll feel more comfortable? Or someone that can ride your horse before you get on to get out all the grouchiness out?

And remember, there is absolutely no reason to push yourself too fast. Get to the point where you feel totally confident trotting your horse, no matter how long it takes, and then maybe progress to doing a couple stride of canter.

Horseback riding should be fun, never push yourself past the point where it's not.


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## QOS (Dec 8, 2008)

I so understand your problem. I used to ride bareback as a teenager, floating along on my sweet little mare...galloping, loping...whatever. She was an angel. I had another horse after that that I trained myself. She was a good girl but nothing super special. I don't even really remember cantering her...but I am sure I did.

I didn't have a horse for 26 years while I was raising kids. Fast forward to 2 years ago this past November. I tried a horse to buy that went buck a$$ wild on me...took the bit and ran away bucking. I came off at the end of the arena...I didn't think that was bad for someone who hadn't rode in 26 years! BUT my leg was severely injured. It is still after 2 years discolored. It is still slightly numb on the left side below the knee. My leg swelled twice its own size, was black and blue and fuchsia from thigh to my foot. My knee cap was sticking up 2". The doctor was shocked that the leg wasn't broke in several places, that the knee cap wasn't shattered and that my tendons and cartilage was ok just very bruised. It took months to quit having electrical shock type pain running through it...I had a severe skin infection.. All in all a very unpleasant experience.

The worst was it shattered my confidence. I did buy a horse 2 months later...my leg was still uber tender. I bought a gentle but not well trained horse. He wouldn't run off or buck but he wasn't a trained horse. He was a former race horse though! Red taught me much but I still wasn't over my confidence problems. I did take lessons from a dressage instructor. She helped me to canter in the small arena...but Red always wanted to go to the center and that scared me too. Taking the lessons helped me so much though. I had to give Red to a good friend of mine and she is riding dressage on him and he is doing well. I recently bought another horse that is just as calm and gentle as Red and he is helping my confidence problems.

Take it slow. Don't feel like you have to show anyone ANYTHING. Work in the arena if you have one. I am currently working with my new horse to teach him to canter slow. He doesn't know how to do that and I am not confident enough to gallop yet. I have cantered him a few times but he wants to speed up and I am not ready for that. 

Steady work over and over has helped me. I think back to the confidence I had as a kid and I wonder where that kid went (she was skinny too!) but I am what I am right now so every chance I get I work on it. I am riding Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday this week on trail rides as I am some vacation. I am going to keep working on this until I am satisfied with myself. It may not be to someone else's level but it is not about them...it is about me.

Keep posting about how you are doing...I am always game to hear how someone else is over coming the same thing I am wrestling with.


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## Rachel1786 (Nov 14, 2010)

I didn't read all the other replies, but I know EXACTLY how you are feeling, i started riding when i was about 12, i found out i was pregnant 3 weeks before my 21st b-day and didn't start riding again until last year(i'm going to be 25 on 1/7) when i started riding again would go up to an equine lameness place to ride, i mostly walked and did very little trotting on the dead broke lazy horse lol, then in the end up may i adopted an OTTB and well i didn't ride her for until i had had her for 4 months because she was so crazy i couldn't even lead her without her running me over and me being scared i was either going to lose her or get trampled lol...anyway i got the help of a trainer and she did great with her, about a month ago i tried to trot on Bella for the first time, OMG i thought i was going to bounce right off, i couldn't steer her because i was bouncing too much and she nearly ran into the rail(as if she couldn't turn herself lol) well 2 weeks ago i tried again and it went much better, i did a sitting trot instead of posting and aside from my feet sliding back too far in the stirrups i managed to to not look so totally ridiculous, well unfortunately my trainer moved 9 hours away the next day, so i'm on my own now and i'm loosing my confidence again, and my motivation to get out in the frigged cold lol i haven't ridden since she left because i'm not sure how she will be without our trainer


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