# Fellow Boarder Issues



## spirit1215 (Mar 11, 2014)

I think I'll do more venting here than searching for advice lol. Well, I have an issue at the place I board at with another boarder. My barn has never been a drama barn, any issues have been handled quickly and fairly since it's mostly adults save for me(16). This however has taken things to a whole other level.
A lady there is having her life flipped upside down. And the people would love to help if the lady hadn't been rude for the past couple years to them. It's been a build up of problems over the years...she wouldn't come up to work(she works off her board) she would show up drunk, she brought shady people with her, she was insensitive when the BO's mother passed away. She's scammed the BO's out of thousands of dollars when they tried to help other times, so they learned their lesson to not help again. 
Back to her life flipping over, she asked the BO's for money. They naturally said no. The lady freaked out, swearing the BO out, making her cry and trying to turn boarders agaisnt them. The BO snapped and said she needed to leave NOW. The lady tried to convince the other boarders to leave after that. Now, none of us want to leave as we love it there, and we don't mind if the girl leaves since she has caused issues with all of us.
Well, I was going to stay out of it since it wasn't my fight. But she continued to message me, post on my wall about leaving and so on. I kept telling her to leave me alone. She never did. Eventually, the issue progressed to her extremely insaulting the BO and the rest of the boarders. I snapped and said "BO has never done any wrong to you or anyone. She doesn't deserve to be treated this way. For her to snap, you must have crossed a major line. Please don't make the situaution worse" 
Like I said earlier, I know I shouldn't have gotten involved. But I WILL NOT allow my BO to get attacked like that. The other comments on her status her brutal. Calling her several awful names, saying she should be killed, etc. I was not the only one to comment something like that, actually I was the nicest comment in the BO's favor! But soon after I got messages from her and several of her friends(strangers). They weren't good to say the least, I got called every name in the book of swear words, I was threatned(life, my horse's life) but from her friends only. 
I dealt with it by telling her friends "I admire that you are standing up for your friend. But I don't know you and you probably don't know me. So, please leave me alone" I dealt with her by saying one message " I will not stand by and watch you attack BO. She is a fantastic person, and doesn't need people like you doing that to her. I was your last friend there, I was helping you all the time and I was the person you came to for problems. How dare you talk to me like that. How dare you talk to BO like that. I have lost all respect for you. Stop messaging me, and tell your freinds the same thing." That was the last message I sent to her. However, she continued to slam me with messages and so did her friends.
I have since unfriended her and blocked her. I have apoligized to the BO if I caused additional problems. She said I didn't and that it only enforced her actions of kicking her out. My issue is, this lady is crazy...She has had issues like this before and in revenge, has stolen items and hurt horses. My equipment has been photographed, my best things have been taken home. However, I can't take my horse home and the BO's do work elsewhere. I am concerned on my horse's safety. What should I do? I will not apologize to this lady as, with the words she used on me, she doesn't deserve it. So, is there any way I can protect my horse from this lady?
Thanks for the help guys! Please don't yell at me for my actions, I know they stepped over the line but WILL NOT stand by and watch someone I care about getting attacked.


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## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

You did not cross a line imo you were a lot nicer than I would have been by far. Personally I feel that you're within your right (especially if she has a history of acting out her threats) to tell the BO you fear for your horses safety and expect them to either put security there or remedy the solution somehow. If it was me I would be out there with a shotgun and inform her she was not to touch my horse (though being sixteen that might not be a good idea for you  ). I wouldn't suggest locking him in anywhere as that might simply provoke someone to either set fire to the barn or simply cut the lock. 

Either way good luck that situation is no fun. I would also inform the police of her threats. Especially since you are a minor they will take notice. If all else fails I would head out to the barn and stay there when the BO isn't there to see if her or her cronies would be coming out (and maybe bring a friend or your parents).


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## Red Gate Farm (Aug 28, 2011)

All the BO needs to do is put up a sign "This property under surveillance camera."

That normally deters the troublemakers.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

They make dummy surveillance cameras that look just like the real thing and even have a "power" indicator light. A few of those conspicuously placed around the property might not be a bad thing, along with a sign as RGF suggested.

My question to you is this: if you knew this lady was trouble and you saw the things she was posting, why did you let it go so long, and let it escalate so much, before unfriending her?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

I will say I think you should have probably stayed out of it, and not said anything. Even if the BO was being insulted, it wasn't your place to step in.

But that's all water under the bridge, so to speak, and I am appalled at the way this woman is behaving.  How old is she?! She sounds like a child... particularly considering she is flinging threats, and getting people (her friends) that you don't even know involved. To me, that's just ridiculous.

I would have the BO post something about the property being under surveillance. More than that, I would actually put up video cameras outside the tack room, and your horse's paddock/stall. If your horse is in a pasture/paddock, maybe consider locking it?

Furthermore, I would consider forwarding these threats to the police. Maybe give them a heads up (Hey, if this continues I am forwarding all messages and contact information to the police). 
What do your parents have to say about all this?


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

My personal philosophy in dealing with crazy people is "Let sleeping dogs lie". Or, in this case, "Leave the snakes in their own basket." 

In other words, just let it alone. 

A hard lesson to learn is that you don't NEED to step in or react any time someone is being nasty or namecalling online. Unless the person is threatening you or your horse's safety, or someone else's horse/safety, they are best left alone. It is a nice idea to stand up for people, but it sounds like your BO already took care of the issue by asking her to leave. 

As a suggestion, you might go directly to your BO and tell her how much you appreciate her. A kind word after having to deal with someone who is nasty/crazy is always a very welcome thing.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Red Gate Farm said:


> All the BO needs to do is put up a sign "This property under surveillance camera."
> 
> That normally deters the troublemakers.





DraftyAiresMum said:


> They make dummy surveillance cameras that look just like the real thing and even have a "power" indicator light. A few of those conspicuously placed around the property might not be a bad thing, along with a sign as RGF suggested.
> 
> My question to you is this: if you knew this lady was trouble and you saw the things she was posting, why did you let it go so long, and let it escalate so much, before unfriending her?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


If the lady is that nutty then fake security cameras won't deter her. I would make sure that those guys were active and rolling! As we have seen through numerous other boarding issues, you can never be too safe. And if something were to happen to someone's horse holding her responsible for her actions will be much easier if there is video footage.

If I were that BO I would personally do what I could to lock up the property entrances with a combination lock and only give the code to boarders until this blows over. She is probably all talk, but any kind of threats should be taken seriously with a lady who's this off her rocker. Save ALL of these messages, and I would look into getting a restraining order if she makes ANY attempt to contact you again. The authorities should be alerted to this matter. Do not respond at all if any more of her friends try to contact you. Keep the messages, but block them.

It sounds like this woman should have been booted out a long time ago, what with the showing up drunk, scamming the BO, and not working off her board. I don't know that I'd be inclined to remain at a facility where any of those behaviors are tolerated. I'm glad that the BO finally stood up for herself, and I hope that this lady has been banned from the property and will be arrested if she shows her face.

Note for the future: stay out of it when crazies are involved and you are not. It's nice to stand up for the BO, but you made an enemy that you don't want to have. If it ever happens again just don't reply to the messages. She was getting progressively worse and worse with her comments in an attempt to rile you up, which is what she really wanted. I'm not saying that I would do any better, but it's best not to get on crazy people's bad sides!


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## AQHSam (Nov 23, 2011)

If you are truly worried and not just caught up in the passion of the moment, you could try to get a restraining order that prevents her from coming within 500 feet of you or your horse.

If you have kept any of the harassing and threatening communications they would help to show reason for concern.

At 16, you really need to involve your parents. You don't have many rights at that age. Lots of responsibility but no authority. Plus, they deserve to know if someone is intimidating you.

This isn't going to sound fair or fun, but you also need to discuss it openly with the barn owner. SHE should be able to get a restraining order. I couldn't tell if the nuttyone has moved her horse or not. If she has not, the barn owner needs to step up and evict her horse and ban her from the property.

If the barn owner understands what has been happening online and allows the horse to stay, you really should move. 

For the most part, it is hard to avoid barn drama. But hysterical crazy people are not normal drama. People who take the crazy from the barn and live and eat it for several days publicly are not normal.

In the last decade, people have used excessive force when they have felt slighted and were angry. A teenager died on the night of prom for allegedly turning down an invite. People have died in malls, theatres and work places because one person was slighted.

Take her crazy as serious. Don't just turn the other cheek. Leave the area and stay the heck away from her.


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## stevenson (Sep 12, 2011)

it is illegal to threaten someone over the internet. Cyper harrassing. You were threatened with being killed, your horse being killed.. I would print it out, and have her, her friends arrested.
this is also a form of terrorism. Do not contact them again. 
file charges.


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## bkylem (Sep 21, 2013)

I know you hate to do it, but I think it is time to file a police report. She is behaving irrationally and it borders on being hazardous. 
She is obviously ill, so you must protect yourself in the event it goes any further.

File a report..........please.


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## Copperhead (Jun 27, 2012)

Its easy to make a police report and free to boot. No harm done there. You should print out the messages off your computer and bring that as evidence. Keep your BO in the loop too. If you feel these threats are legit, then someone needs to know about them.

Is the BO worried at all? Sometimes what we consider a big deal is already sorted and handled by the people involved. If the BO is worried, I'd ask what kind of measures they are taking to protect their property and yours and then go from there.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

I just reread the thread and saw that you are only 16... Definitely involve your parents if you have not already! You may be very capable and mature at your age, but it is wildly inappropriate for a grown woman to attack you in this way. Your parents would likely have something to say, and it makes it even more important for you to file a police report. 

I think that this is worth noting to those who underestimate the capabilities of crazy horse people: several years ago a 19 year oldish boarder was kicked out of a barn I know for starting drama with other boarders. She moved her horse within a couple of weeks, and one of the barns mysteriously caught fire and burned to the ground the next day. Multiple boarders and the barn manager lost all of their tack, and a boarder uninvolved with the drama lost two of her horses. It is possible that the timing of the barn catching fire was a coincidence, but I don't believe it for a second. I hope that the Bo is taking these threats seriously and taking appropriate actions.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Adam (Feb 6, 2012)

Ditto the tip on involving your parents. They need to be made aware of any threats on your life, your horse, or damage to your property. It may feel like the people who are threatening you are just 'talking', but please take it serious. Lotta crazy people out there now days.....


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## spirit1215 (Mar 11, 2014)

Thanks for the help guys! This lady is in her 30's so, to me, her behavior is ridiculous but again I'm only 16. I may not know if it's acceptable or not I know I shouldn't have gotten involved especially if this girl is nuts...could you say I'm a little to loyal to the BO's?
As for her messages, I have shown them to my parents and the BO. They have done whatever they wanted with them, and I have since deleted them from my phone. My father did let my uncle know(police officer) and he will be with me until she leaves the barn. Depending on how she leaves, he may even stay with me for a little while longer.


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

I have a survelance system w/ 4 cameras, monitor. You would need to ad the recording device. I will sell. 300.00


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## Sunnylucy (Jul 3, 2012)

She's still at the barn after issuing the threats that she has? Board owner needs to get her out so she can't threaten other boarders and has no right to access the property (i.e. horses not there she has no reason to be there) If I was the BO I would hire a security guard to be there during the times the barn is unattended for a while just to be certain nothing happens. Its hard at 16 to deal with this situation, just stay focused on your horse, make sure your parents know what is going on and avoid any contact with this woman. Good luck.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Sunnylucy said:


> She's still at the barn after issuing the threats that she has? Board owner needs to get her out so she can't threaten other boarders and has no right to access the property (i.e. horses not there she has no reason to be there) If I was the BO I would hire a security guard to be there during the times the barn is unattended for a while just to be certain nothing happens. Its hard at 16 to deal with this situation, just stay focused on your horse, make sure your parents know what is going on and avoid any contact with this woman. Good luck.


After the behavior she has exhibited and the threats she has made to you and your horse there would be no way in heck I would stay at that barn if the Bo gave her more than a couple of days to move. You can say that you feel loyal to the barn owner, that it's the best place in the area, anything, but you make it sound like this has been going on for a little while. If the Bo doesn't have the will to get both her and the horse out immediately when threats have been made to other boarders and their horses then I think it's time to start looking for a new place and have a talk with the Bo. Your horse's safety should come before your loyalty to the Bo if she won't get her out in a timely fashion.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## spirit1215 (Mar 11, 2014)

Thats one thing my mom has expressed to the BO's that if this girl won't leave, we will. The issues from before have never been this drastic though which is one reason I'm guessing the BO has let her stay this long. So far, it's been 6 days since the incident. I do know that the girl is still trying to stay but after the way she treated BO, me and I guess another lady at the barn, I doubt she'll be able to sway BO's mind. 
Both Slash and Spirit are okay as of now, all of my stuff is still there so I hope I'm not jinxing this lol


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

She should be gone by now. Were it me, I would give her until the end of the weekend to boot that horse out. One week is plenty reasonable for her to find a new home for her horse, especially given how she acted. I would have a serious talk with the Bo and your parents today saying that if her horse is still there Sunday night then yours will be moving Monday morning. She can then either get her act together and evict them, or she can lose another boarder in the process.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Iseul (Mar 8, 2010)

We need to talk about this!!! I had no idea this was going on! 

Anywho, she's lucky she didn't mention any of that to me because she'd either be hospitalized or in jail. Why is her gelding still in with my mare!? She's not gone yet?

You didn't do anything wrong by standing up for BO, she's been through enough lately that this is absurd. I'll find that gelding a home if she puts a lien on him. You were MUCH nicer than I'd have been had she threatened me or talked about BO like such.
Regardless though, you can't leave..nope, you're my riding buddy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## spirit1215 (Mar 11, 2014)

Iseul, I'd hate to leave but I wouldn't feel 100% safe with her there. Finding him a home would be easy. He's such a sweetheart! I can't believe she talked to you like that!
Yes guys, she went after another boarder even though the boarder didn't start anything with her!


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