# Tactful way to help hubby with riding



## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

It's a guy thing.... I wouldnt worry as much about the slouching and leaning back... but the riding like a chicken flapping in the breeze has always bothered me... TRY to fix that ... somehow... teehee... good luck with that!


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## barefoothooves (Sep 6, 2007)

The "fetal position" did improve some when I bought him some better underwear


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## G and K's Mom (Jan 11, 2008)

This makes me laugh. :lol: 

Hubby had ridden for years, but never had any formal training. Just jump on and go. A couple of years after we got together we purchased the full brother of my guy for him. He's a good horse but very sensitive. Hubby tried to do the jump on and go thing with him and the poor horse was so confused. Toes down, shoulders and hands way up, shoulders and elbows flapping, half neck rein half direct rein.........

I'm a stickler for equitation and tried to offer some suggestions but it always ended in an argument.

So, in comes Jill, a trainer in our area. I told her the moment she stepped out of truck that she was here to save our marriage. 

Hubby has taken several lessons each year, those combined with me taking pictures to show him what he looked like has made a huge difference.


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

barefoothooves said:


> His worst habits? Wants to raise his elbows to shoulder height like he's short behind a steering wheel (his elbows come up all the time, though-eating dinner..driving..SLEEPING! LOL)
> 
> The other thing, is how to get him to not slouch and pull his knees up. I think if someone else were working with him, he would listen better..


It must be a man thing... my son does exactly this same stuff. I got so fed up with him that I said, NO MORE SADDLE until you at least get your hands under control. It is getting better and I'm soon going to let him trot  And ya, I think you're right about someone else would have a better audience. I've seen it in skiing, computers, horses... But, short of running an alias while riding, unless you/he are willing to pay for lessons, I think you're out of luck on that one!


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## barefoothooves (Sep 6, 2007)

Oh, I don't mind paying for someone else to coach him. Just getting him out in front of other people is the hard part. He knows he's a "flapping fetal chicken", just doesn't want anyone else to see it or point it out, ESPECIALLY ME! LOL 

Just thought someone would know a way to say" Sweetie, put your darn elbows down!" nicely. Glad to know mine isn't the only guy that does it. 

Now, if I could just tame them in his sleep...for now I just "accidentally" smack him back in "my dreams" when he asks about it. :roll:


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## kickshaw (May 7, 2008)

> "flapping fetal chicken"


my keyboard now has coke all over it... my nose burns, too, from the coke escaping :lol: 

we have mirrors where i taught the boyfriend to ride. if i told him something and he thought i was full of it, i'd tell him to look for himself...that fixed that pretty darn quick.


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

On the subject of boyfriends and husbands...

How many of yours have tried to MANHANDLE your horse into behaving? I don't know how many times I had to yell at mine for:

Wrapping the leadrope around his hand...
Holding the leadrope way up under the halter...
Trying to force my non-behaving horse to hold still by putting his arm around his neck and leaning down on him!

****... I'm sure there is more... he's actually a very knowledgeable horseman now... I geuss it comes from spending the last 15 years with me (6 as my boyfriend and 9 as my husband)...


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## barefoothooves (Sep 6, 2007)

Farmpony, my EXhusband was/is like that. He would bully them beyond that, and even tried to manhandle the hogs we raised. :roll: There's a reason he's my EX! 

I do find it funny when a guy thinks he can outmuscle a 1,000lb+ critter that's carrying him. LOL I'm thinking..uh.......you know, they can totally toss your butt off. Funniest thing I saw was my ex trying to outmuscle a donkey. The donkey won...drug him halfway down the mountain and stopped in the river. He coudn't get that burro to pull anything after that, didn't matter what he did, but I could do anything with (the burro), ride him, hitch him up or catch him. But then, I was NICE, yet firm, with him. 

My now husband is gentle and sweet, which can be bad, too. A little too passive at times, but I think he's holding back sometimes because he's afraid he'll never hear the end of it from me.


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## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

He's been watching too many cowboy movies where they flap their arms like a chicken as they ride off into the sunset. 
Tony does it too.. at a lope or gallop. I did send him off for lessons from an old cowboy, I'm sure that where he learned it. He claims its correct. I say whatever gets you down the road. I don't care if he starts crowing as long as he is riding by my side.  
I can give you the number of the fellow that he took lessons from. He is an old cowboy, a manly man sort of fellow that my man felt comfortable with. If he's anything like mine, he's not going to learn from you, he needs to learn from another man.


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## Dumas'_Grrrl (Apr 2, 2008)

The one and only time my hubby thought he could man-handle the horses...He put his arm around Twister's neck (we were trying to get his halter back on) He thought he had Twister caught. Twister responded with a whack to Bill's McNuggets and took off. My hubby is now kind and patient with the horses. :lol:


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

I don't have probs with MDH with the manhandling thing -- he was 6 when he was driving Clydes pulling logs out of the bush :shock: so he learned to work WITH the horse fast!

Flapping Fetal Chicken -- FFC :lol: I'm gonna tell my son that one next time he rides at something other than a walk. Maybe tonight I'll let him trot -- I'll have something to look forward to all afternoon now.


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## G and K's Mom (Jan 11, 2008)

barefoothooves said:


> "flapping fetal chicken", :


I just chocked on my water!!!!!! Too funny.

How about wrapping him in binder twine so he can't move????


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## barefoothooves (Sep 6, 2007)

:lol: Well I'm glad everyone likes the description of his riding. I'll have to keep this thread from him though. 

Twine, eh? Yes...that's the ticket!


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## Appyt (Oct 14, 2007)

Bungie cord his arms to his belt loops. lol 

I can't imagine him being afeard of ya.. LOL


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## DashAwayAll (Jul 19, 2008)

It _is_ a guy thing. LOL Their center of gravity is much higher than women - ours is across the widest part of our hips and for men it's basically across the nipple line. It makes a difference in how we balance, strength, etc. 

When a fella raises his arms higher ( natural thing for him to do) he is putting the horse into his ( man) power zone. They usually lean forward when they do this, depending on the saddle and the ... um .... arrangements of ..... happy parts. A quick way to solve it is to loosely tie hubby's arms down - just above the elbows and waist. I mean, tie a string around his waist with his arms inside it. Use a piece of baling twine. Tie it in a BOW, and loosely.
Hubby should be able to break it or push it off easily. SAFETY FIRST. The trick is to ride, and finish riding with the string still there.
He'll then realise how often and how much his arms go up.

 It helped me. ( I am a fetal position curler.... trying to protect my old crunchy back.)


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## Pinto Pony (Jul 28, 2008)

I must be a very lucky girl, my hubby is a wonderful naturally gifted rider, can be kinda embarrassing for me when I am the "horsier" one haha. 

But I would suggest some bareback for him. Any of my students who are having a real hard time finding their seat I just take the saddle off and wham, they are forced to sit up straight and balanced, stretch their legs down and around, no more "flapping fetal chicken" (is there a memorable quote page somewhere????? That one had me in tears laughing!) 

I also agree that teaching within the family can start World War 3 and highly recommend an outsider step in to teach.

Good luck and let us know how he is going... I am still laughing here... hahaha


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## FoxyRoxy1507 (Jul 15, 2008)

well you guys who have the husbands and bf's who will ride r lucky!

Mine said he was going to once, then he tried to manhandle my horse and this was like 2yrs ago, well my horse got ****ed that he was trying to hold him and be rough that he reared up and took off, half dragging my bf with him. since then my bf wont even think about getting on him or ne other horse. 

i think this started bc my horse at first didnt like my bf bc my horse believed i was his and my bf had no right to be next to me! lol well 3yrs in the working and horse and bf are finally getting along, but i think it will b a very long time b4 i can get him up on him. just hope when i do my horse doesnt decide to be a brat and say hello to payback! lol


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## BrwnEyedGrl (Jul 4, 2008)

O my gosh, you guys have me cracking up. My work partner who is sitting in the desk next to mine is looking at me like I'm a nut! I read the posts off to her but she don't get it... :roll: Non horse people! LOL kidding... Anyway my hunnie & I are in the process of starting this procedure! Gee thanks peeps for giving me the heads up!! *Mental NOTE** don't leave hunnie w/ horse ~ may have a WWE match right in the front paddock..... Think the horse would win. Ha ha. 

Best of luck with getting your hunnie to keep his arms down & I'll let you know how I make out!!


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## barefoothooves (Sep 6, 2007)

Well, we are all moved, and have the baby, but the horses are here, and for an update: Hubby just rides when I'm inside feeding the baby or when I leave. LOL So I can't really tell you if he's improved, but he's not toppled or flown off yet, so I hope my not being around has let him relax and ride a little better. His horse isn't running away from him when he goes to catch him, either, so it can't be that bad, or his horse is just a stoic old fart that just doesn't care anymore. I like to fanatsize he's riding better these days. Eases my mind. :wink:


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