# Woman accusing my horse without proof



## muddtruffles (Dec 4, 2020)

Hi all, fellow horse lover here! I just needed a place to put my frustrations in as its been a very difficult week.

I moved my horse to a new boarding facility about a month ago. I love the stall she's in, the management, and the people for the most part... but the woman in the stall next to me has been giving me some unwarranted grief. It's almost ruined the whole experience for me.

About a week ago, she came up to me and started accusing my horse of biting her horse's tail off. Her horse's tail was wrapped up so I couldn't see what damage was caused. I told her it would be odd for my horse to chew on another horse, let alone the other horse to allow it enough to make a noticeable difference (they don't like standing next to each other).

her horse goes out in the pasture 1-3x a week during the day. The owner noticed part of his tail missing when bringing him in from the pasture.
my horse goes out in the pasture on alternating days from hers.
I've never seen them share a fence. They are always on opposite sides of their stalls.
my horse was in much tighter quarters with other horses at the old boarding facility and she's never ever nibbled on another horse's mane or tail.
*The barn owner (BO) agrees with me and says she probably isn't causing the horse's tail loss. She checks on the horses multiple times a day and has never seen anything like it occur.*
Yesterday I got a text from the BO that my neighbor basically could not be convinced otherwise and thoroughly believed my horse was causing all the trouble. The only solution the BO could find was to move my horse to a new stall. I agreed as the BO reassured me that she could still be around other horses and it was a nice stall. Later that day I went to check it out and the stall was _*dreadful! *_It looks as though it hasn't been used in years, there is random plant debris everywhere that I don't want my horse eating, there is a patch of what looks like burnt wood and/or manure that smells awful and is very deep, and she is completely isolated from other horses.

I politely told the BO that I wanted my horse moved back to her original stall as I liked it better and it wasn't fair to relocate my horse on pure speculation. The BO was I think a bit disappointed at me because she keeps trying to sell me on a stall that I don't like. She says that she'll try to put some paneling between my horse and my neighbor's, but my horse will have to stay in this awful stall for the time being (hopefully only a few days).

I'm a bit new to dealing with boarding facilities and neighbors as the original place I was at I was good friends with all the managers there. My neighbor makes me really uncomfortable when I talk to her because she acts like I know nothing about anything. I feel like every time I talk to her and her friend, they're trying to coach me on how to train my horse when I never ask for advice. I just love the location of the place as its so close to my home (less than 2 miles away), but if this continues on a larger scale I don't think I can take this treatment.

All of this for a small portion of a horse's tail gone.

Ugh. Sorry for the rant, I just get frustrated when dealing with difficult people with no sense of reasoning.

Thanks, lol.


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## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

So the barn is obviously not full if there are open pens? (I would call those pens; not stalls. A "stall" is usually 12x12 box stall.)

Did you ask the BO what the black looking dirt is?

Plants are easy to deal with. Put on some gloves and pull them out. I'm sure the "plant debris" isn't any different than what is available in the pasture. 

You could also suggest to BO that the other person take this pen, since she is the one that is complaining. And then you keep your original.

Barn drama is barn drama. You'll probably get that no matter where you go. There is always going to be someone. Be polite, says "thank you but I'm good" when they offer unwanted advice. And enjoy your horse and ignore the drama.


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## Horsef (May 1, 2014)

Yup, barn drama. Politely explain to the BO that you will leave the barn if she doesn’t stop the other woman harassing you. To me it would be a dealbreaker - but I have a serious case of resting female dog face so people generally don’t mess with me.

Even if your horse did chew some of the tail off, so what? It’s horse stuff. That’s what they do. Sure, work on a solution to prevent it in future, don’t spend time making it into a detective novel or a Greek tragedy. Some people really don’t have anything going on in their lives.


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

I think you can take a pitch fork to that black area and get most of it out. Probably just old poop that was left. I would throw some lime down once I scraped it out. I guess those are just little pens they stay in on the days they arne't turned out? I don't live in an area that boards that way but I saw a lot of that when I visited California.

As for the tail, it does look like it could be getting chewed off. Not saying it is, but I can see where someone might think that. IF they are side by side and your horse can get his head between the rails to get to the tail....

I know it doesn't seem like much to you but I would be pretty upset if my horses tail was being chewed off, or if I thought it was being chewed off. And if it hadn't happened before I might even jump to that conclusion as well.

Of course, I had a horse fall asleep with his tail in the water bucket and then when the bucket froze overnight - he ripped his tail out. It was so thin and scraggly. 

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I would go with an understanding attitude as it sounds like you have but ask if your horse can be moved to an area that is closer to other horses. If you can't move then ask if they have lime for that dark area.


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## muddtruffles (Dec 4, 2020)

@beau159
My horse’s original pen and the one she’s in currently are the only vacant pens on the property. The rest of it has been completely overgrown in desert plants and has been unused for probably years. It used to be an old cattle farm. 

The original pen is at least twice as big as the one in the picture, if not more, and is completely clean and has shade. For the BO to try to convince me the new stall is just as nice would be, in my eyes, a lie. I moved her to the barn for the advertised original pen.


@farmpony84 - The property I’m at has large pens like mine and regular 12x12+ stalls. All the horses are able to be turned out into the large 3-4 acre pasture on select days, but that’s usually owner done. The lady advertised the original pen and I fell in love with it, so I moved my horse as it was the same care and she was 40 miles closer to me. 

I completely understand the other owner’s concerns because I also would not want my horse to lose parts of her tail. I just know my horse and she’s never done anything like that to any horse ever stalled next to her. I’ve never even seen our horses next to each other in a way for her to chew his tail. They don’t like standing next to each other. It’s my word against the other owner’s word right now and unfortunately it seems that the other owner is louder than me. 

And honestly, the biggest deal breaker about this stall is she has no physical interaction with any other horses. She doesn’t get turned out in the communal pasture because she isn’t easily caught unless I’m there and I unfortunately have work during the time they bring the horses in. The elderly stable hand didn’t seem too thrilled that she made him run through the pasture to get her and her original pen is plenty big to not need turnout. I’d be perfectly fine with cleaning the stall up and making it work, but I hate her being completely alone 24/7. Looking at other horses isn’t the same as sharing a border with them, in my eyes. It just looks depressing. 

I guess the barn I came from was just a different breed. If their horse got scraped up in the field, they’d just clean it up and let bygones be bygones. No one ever tried to get another person put in a worse position because horses just were horses. 

I’m just hoping the BO putting paneling up between our horses will fix the issue. She said to give it a few days until she can make arrangements to do so, which I’m patient enough for. I’m not trying to be unreasonable... but I don’t want to sacrifice my own horse’s comfort because my neighbor is alleging claims the BO doesn’t even believe.

Side note: The other lady managed to convince her friend to also wrap her horse’s tail as a protective measure against it getting chewed, I guess (a horse my horse can’t even reach). I don’t know what’s even going on anymore. I also don’t know the extent of the damage done to this lady’s horse’s tail. I saw it briefly and it looked normal? She keeps it wrapped up in a tail bag and doesn’t take it out at all, even when she goes riding. While I hate to dismiss her claims, I’m finding it less and less easy to believe significant damage was done to warrant such dramatic behavior. 

Barn drama is barn drama. Happy to drop it and let everything be hunky dory again.


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

There was an alarming thread about wrapping tails here some time ago. Apparently if improperly done it can lead to permanent tail loss. It's not your place to be telling those people that, I guess, given that there's already drama going on, but I wish they knew, especially the second one, whose horse doesn't even seem to be in any danger of chewing.


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

I wasn't saying your horse did it, just saying that I can see how she jumped to the conclusion. I think you are being very reasonable in your reaction. From experience, I think you are going to end up having to move. I would give it a try though for the convenience of the location.

I remember I had friends in a private barn in a gaited community and there was a horse that was biting the horse in the stall next to him (They could hang their heads over the stalls). One owner kept throwing a fit over it and it kept escalating util she sprayed oil lubricant all over the other horse. I think she even took scissors to the mares mane. 

Then I remember another time where the horses at the place I boarded my horse at were chewing each others manes and tails. There was one guy that put a wig on his horse and they got so nasty fighting amongst each other that one guy put a padlock on the gate so when I went to ride I couldn't get my horse out because it was padlocked. I moved that weekend.

People can get nasty. I think we all have a little crazy in us but horse people are over the top! LOL.

I hope things work out for you but I would probably look for alternative boarding just in case this lady goes towards the crazy side.


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## SteadyOn (Mar 5, 2017)

To my mind, the one complaining should be the one who has to move. Period. If she's that worried she could braid or tie up the tail, or put some bitter spray on it. But it sounds like she can't be bothered and doesn't think it's "her" problem. But no, the neighbour should be the one to move her horse to the new pen, not the other way around.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Yes this is the other persons problem. Also, unless tails are wrapped properly they can cause problems. Hope you get this straightened out soon.


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## muddtruffles (Dec 4, 2020)

Went out to the barn today and I was able to
move my horse back to her original stall! The managers there realized it shouldn’t have been me who was moved. They put more fencing between my horse and the other lady’s to hopefully reassure the other owner. They were very nice and said if it happens in the future with anyone at the barn, I shouldn’t have to take the brunt of it. I had a very pleasant conversation with them.

As for the the poor horses with tail wraps 24/7, that’s whole other can of worms. I don’t know too much about tail wraps; I’ve never used them and I didn’t think wearing them too much is a good thing. But I stay out of other people’s business and I’ll just let them be.

Case closed (for now)!


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## loosie (Jun 19, 2008)

Firstly, not assuming, but IF your horse was chewing the other's tail off, then I'd take it as a likely sign of nutritional deficiency. Or perhaps an OCD from boredom/anxiety of living in segregated, boring yards. So I'd be looking at nutrition/diet and also looking to find your horse a better, healthier, more fulfilling environment to live.

But agree with those who have said it's the other person's problem - it's just a 'horse thing' & if she's upset about it, she should have either put up a barrier in between the pens, or moved her horse.



muddtruffles said:


> The original pen is at least twice as big as the one in the picture, if not more, and is completely clean and has shade. For ... I moved her to the barn for the advertised original pen.


That the pen is bigger is really neither here nor there - unless you ride her in it or such. Shade would be very easy to address - just get some shadecloth for one corner. But yeah, if you moved there specifically for that pen and the BO knows that, then there's one more reason why she shouldn't have shifted your horse.



> All the horses are able to be turned out into the large 3-4 acre pasture on select days,


3-4 acres, esp for multiple horses(tho how many has a bearing) is not that large. And what happens on the days they're not allowed out? Do they only get to be horses with other horses on those days(& presume not all day)? And do they at least get exercised a lot on the days they're not allowed out to play? 



> And honestly, the biggest deal breaker about this stall is she has no physical interaction with any other horses. She doesn’t get turned out in the communal pasture because she isn’t easily caught


So she doesn't even get 'select days' to be a horse, unless you're there? Yeah, keeping her isolated and unable to be turned out with other horses(pref full time, not just 'select days') would absolutely be a 'deal breaker' for me.



> and her original pen is plenty big to not need turnout.


For that to be true, she would need to be getting lots of social interaction with other horses in her pen AND lots of exercise in the pen, which is not likely - & sounds like the social interaction just doesn't happen, even if it were possible. Bit like these people who say dogs 'need large backyards' - if they haven't got company to play with, it's not likely to matter whether they have an acre or a courtyard.

So... I'd personally be looking for a better situation for your horse anyway, regardless of this 'drama'.


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## muddtruffles (Dec 4, 2020)

loosie said:


> Firstly, not assuming, but IF your horse was chewing the other's tail off, then I'd take it as a likely sign of nutritional deficiency. Or perhaps an OCD from boredom/anxiety of living in segregated, boring yards. So I'd be looking at nutrition/diet and also looking to find your horse a better, healthier, more fulfilling environment to
> 
> 3-4 acres, esp for multiple horses(tho how many has a bearing) is not that large. And what happens on the days they're not allowed out? Do they only get to be horses with other horses on those days(& presume not all day)? And do they at least get exercised a lot on the days they're not allowed out to play?
> 
> ...


The pasture is 3-4 acres for at most 8 horses, 3x a week for 8-10 hours a day. It’s about every other day (Tues, Thurs, Sat). She’s a bit hard to catch in the pasture because she doesn’t want to leave (who would?) unless I’m there. She’s a bit skittish of other people in there but is very friendly in her private pen. I’m going to work with her tomorrow in the pasture when it’s empty and practice catching. She finds the grass more exciting than people.. even treats sometimes (again, I can’t blame her). 

This is the only place in my area that even allow horses with different owners to be turned out together and offer such big pens when not in pasture. I’m trying to get my work schedule switched so I can get her out more; it’s just been a process with Covid. I’d wish she was more playful or know how to unlock that side of her so she’d use those big ball toys to kick around. She’s very curious though. Unfortunately the last two years of her life have been rough. She was previously a wild mustang and brought to a very very small barn with very little space and little horse interaction (we’re talking 30+ horses on 2 acres, stalls included). There was a lot of stress there because always one horse was kicking her fence. I’m trying to introduce her to other horses but she’s extremely defensive when a horse barely looks at her. She’s befriended an older mare while out in the pasture a week ago.. but the older mare’s friend doesn’t want the twosome to become a threesome. Horsie drama! She’s the smallest horse out there but lunges everyone in the pasture if they give her a reason to.


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## Animalia (Nov 10, 2019)

Well, like SteadyOn said, I was wondering about the bitter spray too--or just simply braiding and tying up too. Also, someone early on mentioned why didn't the OTHER horse have to move--instead of you? Sounds like this BO doesn't care much about keeping new clients. If I thought (or knew) that my horse was being chewed on, I would ask to move MY horse--not ask the other horse to move. 
Also, if she puts a "wall" up between the pens, will your horse be isolated again--or are there horses on the other sides? 

And lastly, in this digital age, can't someone put up a camera for a day or two to either "catch your horse in the act" or clear its name? LOL I know some horse people get VERY upset about manes and tails. I myself love a beautiful flowing mane and tail, but I also know it's not the most important trait in a horse--it's just cosmetic--unless the horse is being shown and the look is part of the points, I don't get the big deal either.


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## muddtruffles (Dec 4, 2020)

Animalia said:


> Well, like SteadyOn said, I was wondering about the bitter spray too--or just simply braiding and tying up too. Also, someone early on mentioned why didn't the OTHER horse have to move--instead of you? Sounds like this BO doesn't care much about keeping new clients. If I thought (or knew) that my horse was being chewed on, I would ask to move MY horse--not ask the other horse to move.
> Also, if she puts a "wall" up between the pens, will your horse be isolated again--or are there horses on the other sides?
> 
> And lastly, in this digital age, can't someone put up a camera for a day or two to either "catch your horse in the act" or clear its name? LOL I know some horse people get VERY upset about manes and tails. I myself love a beautiful flowing mane and tail, but I also know it's not the most important trait in a horse--it's just cosmetic--unless the horse is being shown and the look is part of the points, I don't get the big deal either.


LOL, I actually was shopping for a trail camera so I could play detective and take pictures. I might consider still getting one because I’m curious how she spends her day. I’m not sure why the BO honored the lady’s request to have me moved, but bygones will be bygones as long as they don’t do it again. It makes me wonder sometimes if this pen was available for a reason because everyone at the barn is envious of it (no one wants to be next to loco people, LOL).

And honestly, the ladies who board next to me only take their horses for casual rides, but they’re super protective. One of them doesn’t even let her horse out of its stall unless it’s to ride 1-2x a week for an hour (and she wonders why her horse is always high strung). For people who have given me so much unwanted advice and “know so much about horses”, they never let their horses be horses. It is what it is. I know the type too well but this is my first time actually being around them.

On a cuter note, there’s two geldings on the other side of her that absolutely adore her. One of them cries for her whenever I take her for a short walk on the trails around the property. They nuzzle each other from time to time. She’s honestly such a bad tease, I feel bad for the poor boys when she’s in heat.


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## txgirl (Jul 9, 2010)

If their solution is to put your horse in an inferior stall/paddock, then I would tell them you should get a reduction in board.


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## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

Sigh. Drama like this is why I will never go to another boarding barn. Private barns/self-care only for me, because I just hate dealing with people like that! Barn drama is never fun.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this nonsense. I have no idea why the BO would move your horse either, and not hers, clearly she doesn't think it's an issue on her end at all. That's just ridiculous. & the fact that your horse doesn't get regular interaction with the others isn't fair either. A better turnout situation may help too.

I'm glad you were able to have your horse back to their original stall, but I would keep your eyes peeled for a new barn just in case things go sour again...


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