# Lost someone, found someone



## SammysMom (Jul 20, 2013)

Hi, everyone. I've been away for a while, but I want to share what happened to me this summer with people who can understand how it's affecting me. 

Two months ago, I was riding my boy on a semi-rural road on our way to a restaurant my friends and I went often with the horses. We were nearly there when a drunk, speeding driver hit me and Sam. Sammy was killed, and my lower right leg was crushed (and then amputated). I'm writing this now from a rehab center where I'm recovering from my sixth surgery. I haven't once cried about losing my leg, but I cry every day about Sam.

The driver was drunk, as I said, and in the final moments before he hit us, he sped up. I assume he accidentally hit the gas instead of the brakes when he finally noticed us because there were no skid marks on the road. The county is still investigating and so far say they'll be charging him with DUI and felony assault. But they're still working on a charge for my boy. There has never been a case like this in that county, so they say they're going to try to set a precedent with Sammy. 

Sammy was my best friend and the sweetest, kindest, most hilarious, most mischievous, most beautiful horse I have ever met. I'll never stop missing him, but I'm so incredibly grateful for the time we had together. He gave me an amazing two years, and this summer — spending all my free time exploring and camping with him and our friends — was the best of my life.

This is my favorite picture of my boy, taken this summer while we were camping.










Sometimes I hate myself for having him out there where he could be hurt. But every day is easier. What's kept me together is all the absolutely incredible people who have been keeping me company, raising money for medical bills with a GoFundMe page, sending support from afar, keeping me busy and bringing all their pets to visit me in rehab (including guinea pigs, cats, miniature horses, a regular-sized horse, a llama, and so. many. dogs!) 










They've even been working with their horses in wheelchairs so they won't be afraid of me.



















And it worked!










The most recent amazing thing my friends did for me is...find me my next horse. I wasn't planning to look for a horse for a while because I was afraid all I could do when I looked at any horse was wish it was my Sam. But my friends adopted this horse from a woman who wasn't good to her, and I think we need each other.










This is Jessie, an 18-year-old mare with a big job — helping me survive losing the first love of my life. My heart is more than broken. It feels like it's been ripped right out of my chest. But the other night when I met her, Jessie let me kiss her on the nose and breathe in her horsey smell, and I felt like it's really going to be ok.


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Thank you for sharing your moving story with us. I am so heartbroken over your loss of beautiful Sam. It's a terrifying story that I'm sure all of us who ever have to ride on the road have worried about.

I won't pretend to know just how hard you've had to work thus far at your rehab, but I will say that as someone who works in therapeutic riding, horses are a powerful tool for healing. I work with many riders who use a wheelchair and still chose to ride, as well as many who prefer unmounted activities. I'm glad that horses are a part of your recovery, your smile around them says a lot!

And that picture of your mare with her face in the vegetable tray- well that just says it all doesn't it?! I think she'd be pretty happy to join any party you throw as long as you provide the snacks 

In all seriousness though, while we don't know each other in "real life," I appreciate that you've chosen to share your story with us. I'm sending you wishes of strength and recovery. Maybe you'd want to ask the moderators to move this thread to the journal section so we can follow along with your progress?


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

Awwww, your story is amazing. I am wiping away tears. What a beautiful story. I am so sorry you lost your Sammy and wish you a speedy recovery and wonderful times with your new love.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

crying here too. unbelievable. so glad you are alive and ready to live again!


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## jenkat86 (May 20, 2014)

This is quite the story. And for the record, I may have just learned my lesson to NOT read this stuff at work since it gave me tears. As much as your story is filled with tragedy, it's very much filled with hope. I know I will go home and give my girls an extra scratch and hug tonight. 

Thank you for sharing with us. You got this :wink:


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## Reiningcatsanddogs (Oct 9, 2014)

I agree, if you would be willing, your story would make a very compelling journal. 

It would stand as a reminder to all of us who get our knickers in a knot about the little “wrongs” in our life that we should take a deep breath each day to count our blessings rather than wallowing in our misfortunes. 

Thank-you for sharing a difficult part of your life with such a wonderful attitude,; you are an inspirational breath of fresh air!


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## KigerQueen (Jun 16, 2013)

This happened to my fiance. he lost the horse he has had since he was 7-8 (so he'd had her for 10-11 years as he was 18 at the time). Killed Sunny instantly and basically him. he was in a medically induced coma for 2 weeks. he had to relearn most things again and he still dose not remember a few things from before the accident. He has a scar running across his head and a bit of his brain the size of a quarter dead.

He is lucky to be alive and so are you! Stay strong and Ride on!

and i will say you have the BEST friends and family in the world!!! Love your sweet little mare!


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## zookeeper1991 (Sep 11, 2012)

I'm so sorry for the loss of your horse and that you lost your leg! Good luck with your new horse.


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## Avna (Jul 11, 2015)

What a tragic and moving story. We are all rooting for you and Jessie here at the virtual barn.


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## Radicalecat (Jun 26, 2015)

I am so sorry for you and Sammy. I can't even imagine how much it must hurt. You're being amazingly brave, and I hope you and Jessie have a long, fulfilling life together.


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## karliejaye (Nov 19, 2011)

Thank you for having the courage to share with us your amazing journey. I am so sorry about your loss of Sam and for the damage that was done you (physically AND psychologically). 

I hope your journey with this new mare is rewarding and fulfilling in its own special way. No horse can replace a previous one, only build onto the character that the previous steed began the foundation for.


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## anndankev (Aug 9, 2010)

I want to follow your story, please do start a journal here on HF. 

You are already and will be further inspiration for me. 

Congratulations on living and loving on.


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## AlmostTexan (Apr 27, 2014)

How incredibly devastating! I am so very sorry for the loss of your best friend and for the trauma you've been through. 

I agree, a journal would be amazing and inspiring. Perhaps even cathartic for yourself. 

Sending you lots of hugs, love and prayers!


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Yes please let us know how the trial pans out. You did nothing wrong, drunk drivers are a menace, and they often get off with a hand slap. It's disgusting, and I hope you can bring extra penalties for the damage that was done to you.


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## SammysMom (Jul 20, 2013)

Thanks, everyone. The sweet responses mean a lot. How do I ask the mods to make it a journal? Just here — hey Mods! Can we make this a journal? — or do I need to send a message?


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

I am just so amazed at your courage in all of this and like many other members who've read it, moved to tears
Please don't blame yourself for what happened, it wasn't your fault. I have done that myself and it doesn't help anything


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## MyBoySi (Dec 1, 2011)

I'm amazed at how much you've over come and yet so happy and ready to make the best of whatever comes your way! 

What a reminder that everything can change in the blink of an eye. 

You're truly an inspiration for all of hf.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cordillera Cowboy (Jun 6, 2014)

SammysMom said:


> Thanks, everyone. The sweet responses mean a lot. How do I ask the mods to make it a journal? Just here — hey Mods! Can we make this a journal? — or do I need to send a message?


You can start a thread here and just add to it as you go along. Member Journals

Or you can start a journal on your own page such as blogger or wordpress, and add the link to your signature. It will show up on all your posts.

Hope that helps.


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Cordillera Cowboy said:


> You can start a thread here and just add to it as you go along. Member Journals
> 
> Or you can start a journal on your own page such as blogger or wordpress, and add the link to your signature. It will show up on all your posts.
> 
> Hope that helps.


Or, if you're posting from your computer, you can hit that exclamation sign near your user name in the first post you made. That "flags" your post so a moderator sees it, and you can ask them in your flag to move it to a new section. I believe that should work.

Thanks for being willing to let us follow along! You've got an amazing story to tell.


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## frlsgirl (Aug 6, 2013)

This is just awful. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find joy and comfort in your new horse.


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## enh817 (Jun 1, 2012)

You are such an inspiration! 

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved horse, Sam. But I can tell that you are an incredibly strong lady and will get through this tragedy stronger than ever!


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## elle1959 (Sep 7, 2015)

I'm so sorry for your losses. Thanks for sharing your brave story with us. You do have wonderful friends and family and I'm very glad that you have this new mare in your life now. It's a terrible, terribly tragedy you have been through. I hope you'll continue to share your progress with us.


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## Saranda (Apr 14, 2011)

This thread is now a journal. 

Thank you for sharing your story, OP. It is tragic, yet inspiring, and I would lie if I'd say I'm not crying. Best of luck with all you aspire, and I am sure that Sam will never actually leave your side.


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

Old men cry too. It's hard to understand why bad things happen to good people. Have courage and work hard as I truly believe, one way or another, you'll be restored to the happiness and joy you once had.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

Oh brother, what a way to start the day! 

Here I am feeling stiff because I fell asleep in the chair and when I awoke it wasn't worth going to bed.

As encouragement, I have taught four or five amputees, all rode with a prosthesis and one girl was riding with me for a year before I even knew! 

Your positive attitude is an inspiration to us all.

I do hope that they throw the book at the driver.


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## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

Your story gave me goosebumps and I am so so sorry for what you have been through.

You're an amazing inspiration and I wish you all the best for your recovery and getting back in the saddle!

I met a lovely girl who was riding someone else's problem horse. It reared, something that had never occured before. She fell off backwards, and was fine until the horse landed ontop of her. A stone was under her back and caused serious injuries to her spine and she now has no movement below her waist. She is now a paradressage rider who has her heart set on the paralympics. Keep strong and fighting through, I can't wait to hear of all your future adventures!


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## SammysMom (Jul 20, 2013)

Foxhunter and Duffy, I absolutely LOVE hearing about other riders with physical obstacles. I'm so incredibly grateful that my surgeons were able to save my knee and that my body managed to be mostly ok after a 25-foot launch. I have no doubts at all that I'll be doing everything I could do before, and for that I'm a very lucky girl.


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## gingerscout (Jan 18, 2012)

I am also sorry for your loss.. I am glad you found your new horse though, I wonder if the driver is going to be brought up on any charges, other than DUI


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

One of the ladies I've worked with for years lost both her legs about two months ago. She's always been a sweetheart.

A parked truck some how jumped out of gear and pinned her to a wall......she says the devil was behind the wheel....

She's been in rehab now for a couple of months....I called her the other day to chit chat.....and asked her when she was coming back to work.....she told me it'd probably be another couple of months.....

Honestly, I don't know if I'd have the courage she has but I think having the right attitude will take you, and her, a long, long way.

We're all pulling for you....make us proud....


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

Sammy, the girl I said about rode from a girls boarding school. As I said she had been riding with us for about a year. She had done gymkhana games, jumped and followed hounds before I had reason to place her leg back and then I felt her prosthesis. 
Of course I asked her why she hadn't told me and the reply was that she didn't want to be seen as different to the other girls. 

Lord Cowdry had his right arm amputated during WW2, he played polo to a high level and considering that there were no modern prosthetic limbs it was no mean feat as you have to carry the mallet in the right hand.

Heck, it is an awful thing to have happened and I am sure you didn't deserve it, but with your attitude you will never see yourself or let others see you as a 'cripple.' 

I so admire your attitude.


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## enh817 (Jun 1, 2012)

You may have already heard of her, but look up Amberley Synder. She's a paraplegic barrel racer, who is incredibly inspirational! 

Here's an article
Barrel Racer Amberley Snyder… A TRUE Inspiration.. | On the Rodeo Road 

She has a facebook page too. She posts videos (I think on her facebook, maybe on Youtube) that she calls Wheelchair Wednesdays, where she shows how she does things like saddle her own horse, mount her horse, etc. It's really neat to see how she manages to cope with her paralysis and find ways to still do what she loves!


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

One thing I always stuck to when teaching Riding for the Disabled was that if they could get from the school bus to the arena under their own steam, walking with or without sticks, in a wheelchair or crawling on their hands and knees, there was no reason why they couldn't ride a horse as well as an able bodied person.


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## SammysMom (Jul 20, 2013)

*enh*, I had not heard of her, but I'm so glad you introduced me!! What a cool gal.

I love all these responses. This kind of support is the reason I'm able to stay so positive.

I'm being extra careful lately and making sure I get all my exercises in because I've been getting REALLY restless lately now that I've met Jessie and gotten my first visit to the barn over with. It was hard to see Sammy's stall, which is serving as a memorial, and had a hard cry there, but overall it felt like coming home. 

Before I went back, it felt like I had lost that part of my life, not like it had been interrupted. Having a horse to love is a huge part of who I am, and losing both Sam and the ability to ride (though it's thankfully only temporary) felt like life had changed the password at the door. I felt like horses and riding weren't going to be mine anymore, and that was the hardest thing. But going back to the barn reminded me that I can't be excluded from what I love — not that my friends would have ever let that happen


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

You can still do anything and be anything you set your mind to. You just have to want it enough and be willing to work hard to get it. So yes, you're missing a leg, and a horse, and that's a big change. Don't let it change you in ways you don't want to be.....You're still in control of your life. There's much fun yet to be had. 

I'm so happy you're back at the barn...wish you were closer.....I'd love to ride with you......


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## greentree (Feb 27, 2013)

I have the MOST amazing friend, who was hit by a drunk driver head on when she was 16. There was a fire, and it killed her sister. She survived, but lost both of her legs. Her wonderful spirit survived, as yours did!! 

She has prosthetics, and she uses them, but not always. Sometimes she is short, sometimes not. She learned, and had her horse trained, to drive. That is how I met her. Now she owns a carriage company. 

She is my inspiration, and I think of her all the time. She does things that some people with fully functioning bodies SAY they "can't". 

I am adding you to my "inspirationers" (new word, just made that up...) !!


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## phantomhorse13 (Feb 18, 2011)

SammysMom said:


> I've been getting REALLY restless lately now that I've met Jessie and gotten my first visit to the barn over with. It was hard to see Sammy's stall, which is serving as a memorial, and had a hard cry there, but overall it felt like coming home.


Don't feel guilty about having a good cry, be it at his stall or any other time (or even every time you first get to the barn). Your grief needs to be expressed, even though it may make some people uncomfortable.. though it sounds like your friends at the barn may well be crying along with you (the best kinds of friends there are).

Jessie isn't Sam's _replacement_, just a new friend in your life. So mourning for your lost boy doesn't take away from your blossoming relationship with your new mare.


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## Tocicely (Oct 29, 2015)

I am crying too..my family not sure what to make of me. I cannot even imagine your heartache  just cannot,..and I totally understand your lack of tears for your leg, but overwhelming pain over your Sammy...its such a horrific thing to really ponder...easy for us to read it..but my goodness...My heart goes out to you...you are an incredibly strong woman...an inspiration truly...Im happy for your new friend...I think the timing is meant to be...for you both...keep us posted!


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## SammysMom (Jul 20, 2013)

*gunslinger*, I would love to ride with you, too — and meet that beautiful white face in your photo 

*greentree*, you are so sweet! And your friend sounds amazing.

*phantom*, that's the attitude I'm trying to keep up, and I'm doing a pretty good job. And yes, my friends are crying along with me. They're a really special group of people. And WOW, that is one amazing photo in your avatar.


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## MajorSealstheDeal (Jan 4, 2011)

phantomhorse13 said:


> Jessie isn't Sam's _replacement_, just a new friend in your life. So mourning for your lost boy doesn't take away from your blossoming relationship with your new mare.


This is great advice and something I had to learn the hard way. 

OP, your story gave me chills and your positivity is inspirational. I have no words right now, and I'm a writer. I just want to sit and think for awhile now...

Please do continue to share your story and progress here. I know I'll be an avid reader.


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

You haven't updated your post for a month or so now.....

I miss you.....How's things going?


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## bellagris (Dec 6, 2010)

I am just reading this now, came across it and am sitting here holding back tears. Not just because of what you have been through, but your hope and positivity. It is inspiring. Sometimes something comes along that reminds us to just.be.grateful. Thank you for sharing your story. I haven't looked yet to see how you are doing yet as I just wanted to reply, but I will. Best wishes to you.





*MOD NOTE
This journal has been closed due to prolonged lack of participation by the author. Journals that have no active participation by the author for a period of time greater than 18 months will be considered abandoned and will be closed until the author asks for them to be reopened. 
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