# Confidence Breakdown and Fear Following Accident



## Human (May 31, 2015)

I rode hunter/jumper for 9 years on a confidence building pony that would do anything and everything asked. I then bought a more high strung hose and worked really well with him, competing in the Pin Oak Charity Horse Show. By this time I was pretty confident in my abilities, although Mac seemed push button he was very picky about riding styles (couldn't touch his sides or his mouth.) 
So I hear about a horse from a friend of my aunt's and agree to go out and ride it. Well I heard about his past history of a traumatic incident and thought, 'He's just a poor baby (4 years old) that needs a little love and understanding.' Well I made a mistake. I didn't put two and two together and of course the guy wasn't going to tell me he was actively abusing the horse. So I get on and start trotting. I have never been bucked so hard so fast. There was no safety exit, no clean getaway. This animal wanted me off and would die trying. So I fall off and get caught up in the stirrups, he tromps me and bolts. The next day, I'm shaken but I go and get back on. Same thing but this time he drags me, nearly slamming my head into a post. 
I haven't ridden in five years since then and now I'm afraid every horse will buck. I know realistically that my boy, although green, would never hurt me but I can hardly ask him to trot without fearing making him angry and causing a similar situation. I need to work with Doux on the ground for the next few months but I will have to get on him eventually. What do I do? Will my fear go away once I build a relationship with him? I have a trainer that can help me but I really need to get over this mental blockage and ride him myself. I miss riding so badly.
Sorry for the long post and any poor grammar. Thanks in advance for any advice.


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## outnabout (Jul 23, 2010)

If possible I would suggest consulting a therapist. Good luck!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I am so sorry you had such a bad experience. just out of curiousity, why did you go ride it again, after it exploded into hard bucking the first time?

has your own horse EVER bucked on you?


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## Purplelady (Dec 6, 2014)

Hello . I am very sorry to hear about the bad time you had when you were riding it would put any one of . Me I would not have got back on the horse as I am really chicken . But every one is not the same . I am sure things will work out for you it will just take a good bit longer for you ask one of your friends to be with you when you ride and only do a wee bit at a time . And ask your trainer for more help when you need it . Take care and let us know how you get on . Purplelady
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tempest (Jan 26, 2009)

I had a horse that destroyed my confidence at riding the canter. You never knew how he would throw you. I never stopped riding because of it though. I put myself back on a push-button school horse and learned to not panic just because I was riding a canter. From there, after a year, I moved onto a half-green horse. It would take another year for me to finally learn to "relax" at the canter and let go of my horse's mane. I could not, and still cannot, completely relax on this horse because she will throw in a buck if I relax too much. But I'm no longer afraid to canter, I still get slightly nervous every now and then but that's only with horses that I'm unfamiliar with and it doesn't last long.

The more comfortable you are with a horse the more you will be able to trust and relax around them. The only way that you are going to get over being afraid to trot is to trot around. I know it's scary but you have to trust that your horse won't buck if you ask. You say he won't and you need to trust that. The only way to find out is if you try. To get myself over not wanting to canter I forced myself to canter that school horse. I knew that he would never have tried to buck or do anything that could possibly hurt me but I was still terrified. So to get myself to canter I had to just do it. No matter how afraid I was I made myself cue for the canter even though I didn't want to do it. I started using the Nike slogan to get myself to do things. I still do use it. So to quote Nike here, "Just do it."

I hope that helps.


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## Woodhaven (Jan 21, 2014)

Years ago I had a bad accident over a solid jump, the horse tripped and fell on the jump with me under him and between him and the jump. It really shook my confidence and I would only ride one horse that we had who was 110% dependable. She was young but the safest horse to be on. 
Do you have a horse like this that you could ride and start regaining your confidence? Be very careful about who you ride with as you don't want any unpleasant surprises. It took me a long time to get over this but I did, the only thing was, I was and still am a sniveling coward when it comes to jumping. I had a very nice Appy/Arab and he was the only horse that I was ever able to do show jumping because he did it all, I only had to show him which jump. I would almost be sick to my stomach during the class but did it anyway.
Don't tackle anything that you can't handle because you want to be successful for the first while that you are riding and the rest will come back to you as you progress.
Another thing, my Appy/arab was the spookiest horse alive and I started to use safety stirrups with him as I rode alone most of the time and didn't like the idea of getting caught in a stirrup and have used them ever since, maybe you could get a pair and try them out.
Maybe take a few lessons on a "steady Eddy" type of horse to start on the road back to riding your own horse. Cheering for you all the way!!


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## blue eyed pony (Jun 20, 2011)

Baby steps. You want to ride again, but that's a big goal, considering what happened. So break it down. I take it you can confidently handle horses on the ground, so what happens if you tack up? Can you do that? Put a foot in the stirrup and take it right back out again? Get on and then get right back off? Can you ride a horse at a walk? The next step when you're confident in walk is one step of trot. That's all, just one step. And once you can do that confidently, you can move up to two steps, then three, then four, and so on and so forth. You'll get there. Give yourself time.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

You made an assumption that the man had abused a horse that may have actually had no training whatsoever. You got it to trot and it all felt so strange that he blew up because his momma taught him that - reaction to large predator. You put a dead animal on his back (saddle), got on and expected him, with some loving, to react like a trained horse. I'm not seeing where you did some groundwork to get a sense of what he knew or didn't know. Think of groundwork as a pre-flight check. So important.


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## Human (May 31, 2015)

Thank you so much. I need to just take baby steps. Horse people are so wonderful and supportive. I'm working him on the ground now and I'm building a relationship with him. I hope to be able to ride him by this winter. He needs training and I need to take it slow. Again thank you to everyone that gave me advice and shared their personal stories. You all helped a lot.


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## Human (May 31, 2015)

Also we know he was abused. He'd had some training or so I thought. He had scars but I was told he'd run through a fence. I was blind to the actual truth.


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## Purplelady (Dec 6, 2014)

Hello Human , lt is good that your taking things really really slow with your horse . Bye Purplelady
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Overread (Mar 7, 2015)

Human said:


> I have a trainer that can help me but I really need to get over this mental blockage and ride him myself


Is your trainer experienced in dealing with highly nervous riders and those who need confidence rebuilding after major falls/events/problems? One would expect most trainers to be experienced enough to get over common worries with students; but those who have had a much more serious loss of confidence often need a trainer with more specific experience and training in dealing with that. It can make a huge difference in any learning environment. 

The other part is regular. Can you afford and take time to train regularly; at least once a week if not more. That part helps reduce the "down time" when you're not interacting in a certain way and thus helps to build up confidence and reduce the "worry" time when you're thinking about doing something and not doing it. 

The final part is keeping up with the training after you're over the initial hurdle - essentially to avoid a short term recovery slipping into a relapse of the fears.


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

This. I have major confidence issues, and am currently riding a very forward, green horse. I take one day at a time, one moment at a time. It's taken us a year, but I went from shaking while handling her to finally cantering her confidently. Make small goals for yourself. If you feel comfortable tacking, lunge your horse while tacked, etc. End each session on a positive note. It will take time, but you'll get there.



blue eyed pony said:


> Baby steps. You want to ride again, but that's a big goal, considering what happened. So break it down. I take it you can confidently handle horses on the ground, so what happens if you tack up? Can you do that? Put a foot in the stirrup and take it right back out again? Get on and then get right back off? Can you ride a horse at a walk? The next step when you're confident in walk is one step of trot. That's all, just one step. And once you can do that confidently, you can move up to two steps, then three, then four, and so on and so forth. You'll get there. Give yourself time.


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

Double post...oops!


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## SueC (Feb 22, 2014)

If you want to work with any horses that aren't push-button horses, then I really recommend you get a solid background in the complexities of horse training and behaviour by reading some books by highly experienced people, which will immerse you in the subject. The best I have found are:

Horse training: "Horse Control and the Young Horse" by Tom Roberts

Horse behaviour: "Horse Watch - What It Is To Be Equine" by Marthe Kiley-Worthington

Both cover orders of magnitude more ground that the average trainer. And either of them would have warned you off your particular experience, so you would not have got into that situation, or many other sticky situations.

You will gain a lot of understanding by reading these books, and that in itself will help to give you confidence again.

I also don't ride strangers' horses with problems until I have worked with them from the ground etc, so I second that point other posters have made.

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, and I hope you will grow past it. You have my very best wishes.


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