# mom wont let me get a horse helppp please (rant)



## ChingazMyBoy (Apr 16, 2009)

There have been so many friends like yours, I am a year younger than you and for many years worked (for free) at my riding school. Cleaning stalls, helping with lessons, grooming horses, riding horses, ect. I walked my dog every day - I made sure she was fed, had water and was brushed - treated her like a mini horse.

I spent hours researching horses - what my horse would eat, how often he would need teeth done, ect. All the costs; I showed my parents that I really wanted a horse and I wasn't just in it for the riding. I didn't beg, I didn't nag - this to my parents shows immaturity. I simply put ALL the information and costs down in front of them and did everything I could do to show them that I was willing to take care of my own horse - no matter what the task was. 

For several years, I didn't get my horse. I continued working and showing them I was willing to do the tasks involved - now I have owned my lovely horse for three years 

Horses are very expensive - your parents might not be able to afford it, not all families can. Even though you have your savings there are hundreds of things a horse needs - what happens if your horse gets an injury out in the paddock? My friend recently spent $30 000 on her horse because he got a leg injury out in the paddock. Please think about more than the - I want a horse factor.


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## bebe9396 (Mar 25, 2011)

horses are my life im not at a "i want a horse phase." ive shown my mother the costs ive shown her i can work for money to be put back she just doesnt get it. ive shown maturity more then my eighteen year old brother who still acts like a two year old when he doesnt get what he wants. i misspoke when i said riding horses was the one thing i love doing. anything that lets me be around horses i love. i visited a boarding stables and almost died when the owner let me brush one of her horses. this also goes alot deeper then horses but its nt the place to talk about it.


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## sandy2u1 (May 7, 2008)

Do you actually have a savings account or are you still in the planning stages?


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## bebe9396 (Mar 25, 2011)

im still in planing


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## sandy2u1 (May 7, 2008)

Good for you for getting a plan. The thing is though, speaking from a parents perspective, kids are great at telling you what they will do, but so much better at not following through. If I allow my child to have an animal, it is ultimately my responsibility. A horse is a huge responsibility. 

What you need to do is start showing your mother what you will do. Get yourself a job and open that savings account. Put every penny you can in it. If you have any pets at home, start taking responsibility for them. Clean up after them, exercise them and take responsibility. If you don't already take lessons, then start them. Volunteer at a local barn to help. Clean out some stalls, water, brush,etc.

Speaking from a parents perspective, don't tell me what you are going to do. Do it. Then we will talk. 

My own daughter begged for a horse for a long time. It wasn't until she was taking riding lessons, cleaning stalls, scrubbing water buckets and working that I took her seriously. She now owns her own horse.


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## Dresden (Jun 24, 2011)

Are you taking riding lessons?

From an adult perspective, if you are not taking lessons, that is the place to start, not ownership. Lessons are cheaper than ownership with less responsibility so your mom might be more inclined to do that. 

I agree with the above poster, get a job if don't have one, get the money in savings then talk to your mom again. Also consider whether your mom can afford the monthly upkeep on a horse. Buying one is the least expensive part of ownership. 

What are you going to do with the horse when you go to college in a few years? Do you expect your mom to get you a car in a year or two when you can drive? Maintainence and up keep on a car may be another expense your mom is anticipating in the near future... these are just some of the things she might be considering. Can you pay for a horse and upkeep on a car? Will you have time to work and take care of the horse? Etc etc.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ChingazMyBoy (Apr 16, 2009)

All of the above is what I did to show my parents that I did actually want a horse & was willing to commit to having one. Thankfully, my parents fully financially support my horse. However, all physical work, etc. is up to me. No more sleep in's, weekends away, etc. You also have to remember how it may effect your schooling - horses take up a lot of time.

Lessons are also a huge point - they show your parent you are willing to stick to it without them ended up with a horse, feed, regularly needing shoes, worming, ect. that you don't ride or spend any time with. I am not saying you will do this, but it is best to show your parent that you won't. Save every cent, put it somewhere and label it "Horse", taking money out of that - shows your parents you aren't fully committed. As someone who was once in your situation - parents do have reasons for not buying their child a horse, its not because they are mean or don't want to buy you one. I am sure that if you spoke to them about the reasons of them not buying you a horse you may find that they have very legit reasons and it may give you an idea of how to work around it.


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## Alwaysbehind (Jul 10, 2009)

Some really great posts filled with wonderful information.

Let me add that if you are coming at your mother the same way you are posting it is not helping your case.

The whole 'if I can not have a horsieeeeee I will just die' thing does not tend to win favor with parents/adults. As hard as it is to believe, your parents were once your age. They know what it is like.



I always wanted a horse growing up. It is what I asked for on every holiday. In the end I bought my first horse when I graduated from college, with my own money.

Use this time to learn learn learn. Learn about horses. Learn about training. Learn how to muck a stall. Learn all there is to learn about horses.


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## Gremmy (Feb 17, 2009)

I've wanted a horse for as long as I can remember. At 24, I'm still waiting. It took me a long time to accept that my parents just couldn't afford it - especially when you live in the city, board can be through-the-roof expensive. They also didn't want me working as much as I would have needed to throughout highschool to pay for a horse's upkeep (and no matter how much a teenager in highschool works, it likely still won't be enough to deal with a sudden expense like a large vet bill) - grades came first.

Get lessons to start with - it's a much more reasonable expense for your parents and much easier to pay for yourself if need be. I worked at the stables through the last years of highschool and college to pay off my lessons - you gain so much experience that way, valuable experience that you can apply to your own horse when you're able to financially support one yourself.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

When I was your age, I also thought my parents were horrible ogres for not buying me a horse. Now that I'm an adult and understand the concept of income versus expenses, I can see why they couldn't afford to buy me one.

You're 15 y/o and have your whole life ahead of you. If you have to wait until you're past the age of majority and making your own money until you get a horse, it won't kill you. Horses are expensive luxury items and you don't 'need' one, you merely _want_ one. Nobody ever died from wanting something.

If you have the advantage of being able to work with horses consider yourself lucky, as I didn't even have that option. I was 18 y/o before I even had my first lesson, on the horse I bought with my own hard earned money.

You've received some excellent advice, and I suggest you take it to heart. Instead of trying to buy a horse, take lessons, be a working student/volunteer at a local barn, and maybe short term lease one if you have the money.

Delayed desires are that much sweeter when they're finally realized, especially if you do it all on your own.


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

I think you've gotten great advice so far. I grew up in a horse family so they were always just a normal thing for me I guess, I had a lot of friends growing up who would tell me how jealous they were. I'd invite them out and have them help me clean stalls and do the day to day farm work (we've never had less than 10) and most decided it wasn't really for them. 

Find a local barn or stable and volunteer to get experience. Do your research on costs of ownership and all it entails. Have a plan and then a backup plan. Contact your local horse vet and see if you could do a ride along & shadow for a day to see what types of veterinary problems as well as costs that horses create. I had one of mine rack up 6k just last year with one injury. I figured mine cost me just shy of 2k a year for basic care (with no emergency vet calls), I own my property outright so that doesn't include a mortgage or board and I also own my own hay fields & equipment so there is no hay cost in that figure either. Save up, pay for your own lessons for a good amount of time. Take your time learning now and in that time you may very well prove to your parents you are responsible enough and have an easier time convincing them to take the leap to ownership. 

You might also look for a barn willing to trade work for lessons. I have one student who does that with me.


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## tblver (Jul 9, 2011)

When I started riding, it wasn't my parents who facilitated it, it was my aunt who bought me lessons. When those ran out and my parents had to start paying, the lessons stopped. Life sucks like that. So I waited and waited and saved up like a thousand dollars to facilitate the initial costs, and then my grandparents ended up actually buying him for me, after I proved I could pay from him long term. I was 19 when I got my first horse, and now the only reason I'm working full time while also going to school full time is because I have a horse to pay for.....he costs me 600 dollars a month, which is more than all of my other bills ( two credit cards, a personal trainer, gas, car insurance, my cell phone, and food).

Definitely take the initiative, and also be willing to compromise....take lessons, lease a horse. Coming down on your 'demands' will prove that you might be mature enough, because you can handle not getting what you want.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sarahver (Apr 9, 2010)

I can understand your feelings as I was in a similar situation when I was younger. Coming from a non-horsey family it was difficult and my parents sat me down one Christmas to explain to me that they would never buy me a horse as it was just unfeasible. I think they were tired of yearly letters to Santa begging for a horse.

So, I started running a paper round at 12/13 years old. When I was 14 I traded that job in for waitressing and also started working for a local trainer. By the time I was 15 I had bought my own horse, saddle, bridle, EVERYTHING with my own money and continued waitressing and working for the trainer to cover every single bill associated with my horse. Bought more horses at 17, 18 and 19. Never asked for a cent from the olds and had a bike to get me about until I could drive.

My advice would be not to tell your parents that you _will_ contribute at some point in the future, rather start working first and demonstrate how much you want it by beginning to save up. In the meantime, I would advise volunteering at a local stable/barn to get some experience as that will be as important, if not more so, when it comes to horse ownership.


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

Owning a horse is a major responsibilty and commitment. It would be a big risk for your parents to get a horse. have you thought about leasing a horse? That is what my parents did for me. We leased a horse for 2 years and when the owner moved the horse in the middle of the night and he died of colic, they made me a deal. They would buy me a horse and it was up to me to pay for board and shoes. Thank goodness I could work off my entire board!


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## bebe9396 (Mar 25, 2011)

thanks for all the help. im taking lessons at a small stables to start with. im going to see about working to help pay for the lessons. thanks again for all the help.


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## bebe9396 (Mar 25, 2011)

My lessons are going great my instructor is great Im learning alot and am helping around the barn. My mothers letting me work off the money for lessons and equitment. My goal is to either lease or own a horse before my sixteenth birthday I still have a while. You guys have really helped me out thanks again.


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

Good for you! Congrats!


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## serafina (May 5, 2011)

First, let me say, I totally get where you are at. I got a rocking horse for my 1st birthday, and taught myself to climb out of my crib so I could ride it all night long by the time I was 14 months old. I have been a Horse Person since before I was old enough to say the word "horse". My parents are NOT Horse People and wouldn't even let me take riding lessons when I was a teen - not because they thought it was dangerous, but because they thought it was useless.

Being a Horse Person in a family where no one else gets it totally sucks.

You've gotten some good advice for dealing with parents, for the job, and some good explanations about the cost of the horse, etc. from the other people who have posted responses to you. And I'll say this: all that advice is good, and it's right.

However, it may be that your folks just don't *get* it about horses, and it may be (possibly) that they never *will* get it. And if that's the case, it will continue to suck for another 3 or 4 years (I think you said you were 15).

Just remember, every year that passes brings you closer to adulthood. I know that 3 or 4 years may feel like *forever* (it did to me when I was in high school) but in the big scheme of things, it is really a VERY short period of time. And if you are that responsible, and if you are that serious about having horses, in a VERY short amount of time you will be an adult and will be capable of making your own decisions and getting your own bloody horse. This is the beautiful thing about being a grown-up - you can do that kind of stuff if you want to, as long as you can afford it. Because...of course...you would not get a horse if you could not afford to feed it, keep it, and pay the vet bills, right?

So...the time will come, a lot faster than you think, where you will not have to ask your parents for this. If they aren't receptive to the strategies that other people have suggested above, I'd suggest to you that you keep taking lessons (you do that, right?) and work at a barn to get experience, save your money, and when you can, get your own boy (or mare). I do promise you, that moment will arrive so much sooner than you think it will...


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## ChristophersCanter (Aug 13, 2011)

thats awesome! i am also taking lessons at a smaller stable, but i find it so cozy and quaint. i love it there, and my instructor is really cool and down to earth. i'm going to see about working there for my lessons, or just some more time with the horses. the thing is, i don't mind mucking stalls or getting dirty at a stable. 
i'm a little upset because i want to start jumping, but my parents think it's too dangerous. I play soccer at a pretty...well, very competitive level, and my dad says this is not the time to ruin my "soccer career". 
does anyone have suggestions for what i could say to them to convince them?


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