# Venting about crazy boarder



## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

I just needed to rant and get all of this out of my system because I'm fearing explosion at the moment. :evil:

I board my two horses at a little place that I love and I work there as well, it's not big and fancy but I love it to death. Among the few boarders that come out though is a lady that I cannot stand. I do not get involved in drama, I avoid it at all cost and like to enjoy my horses by myself or with a few people that I like. In the beginning of her being there I would simply nod and walk away, trying to be pleasant even though I detested her know it all ness and narcissism. (To top it all off she's a Natural horsemanship extremist who honestly believes she's psychically connecting with the horses). Soon however she began to order me around like I was her groom, 'teach me' about things that my boss was teaching me to do correctly, and even interrupting my dressage instructor who came out to tell her how to teach me. Many times when I was fixing fencing in an empty field she would turn horses out and then proceed to stand over me as I did my job, like I'm a devious person out to maim horses. When I would bring up my gelding (who's spooky and isn't really a fan of new people at first) she would do 'pressure points' to 'ease' his worrying without my consent and ignore my 'no's..... and freaked him out so bad I couldn't get him into the barn easily for a few weeks. Whenever I ride she would come over, and instruct me on what I was doing wrong (for instance my mare doesn't cue with any leg, she hates it) and verbally berate me for being cruel and immature with my riding. I talked to my boss (who's the BO) about all this and more that she had been doing towards me and my horses and my boss talked to her and things went easy for a while. 

I went out a few weeks later and saw the lady out there working a horse in the roundpen using her natural horsemanship. I didn't think two things of it and was going into the barn to sit while my mom went and got my mare when I poked my head out the door to see her working our gelding (the skittish horse). He was dripping in sweat and my mom gave her a talking to and brought him up. This lady's excuse was that he 'wasn't working enough' and 'she wanted to desensitize him' for us. Putting it this way he is as good as he is ever going to get. And he does not understand the whole, natural horsemanship, games, etc method. It freaks him out five ways to sunday. She backpedaled when my mom kept telling her what a raft of crap that excuse was so she said that the BO had told her to work him. I've known the BO longer than she has and there is no way that she would tell her to work a horse, especially one that wasn't hers and she didn't have permission to. We asked the BO and she gave her a talking to. 

Now at this point the woman began making comments to us, other boarders, and clients as well as to vets and farriers about how we mistreat our older mare. She's 20 years old and I still ride her fine, she's a good weight for her age, has no health problems and is just as grouchy as ever. She has never like to canter and it's not because of a health problem just her personality so she pins her ears every time. The 'horse whisperer' as she's dubbed herself began to yell at us because we have not had a chiropractor out, put her on massive supplements, stopped riding her, etc, etc. I just tuned her out and went on with my life. I've been injured so right now I go out when I feel good with my mother and just visit with my old mare. We got there and lone behold there was said woman, poking and prodding on my mares back and irritating the crap outta her. When we came in and saw that we both went livid. She then had the gall to give us a chiropractic bill from her chiropractor that was over $300 for a checkup which lone behold: nothing was wrong.

We found out afterwords from the doc that she had worked my horse using her NH methods for well over an hour. There was a bit of a conversation between me, my mom, the lady, the BO and the BO's husband (who both just got back home in time for this debacle) about leaving other peoples horses ALONE. We threw the bill back in her face and the woman was told if she touches our horses again she would be thrown off the property, and my mom would be filing a civil complaint against her with the police. 

Since then we've had no further altercations with her and our horses (she still claims we abuse them though) and she still treats me like her personal groom and the insect on her boots underside but I'm pretty good at staying the heck outta her way and being pretty blunt and to the point with her when she does decide to corner me into a conversation. (I'm almost always pleasant and calm, I'm not turning into a raving loony yet! lol) I just needed to vent before I hit that final step! :-| If anyone feels the need, please tell me I'm not overreacting to this.


----------



## GamingGrrl (Jan 16, 2013)

Id be moving barns, immediately.
Unacceptable. As soon as I found out she'd been working with my horse with out consent, she would've gotten a knuckle sandwich.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MsLady (Apr 18, 2013)

As I have stated before I have no experience with boarding, however I do not feel you are over reacting at all! These are your horses and no one should be touching them without your permission. I have no idea what some people think or even if they do think!! This would be like me going to my neighbors pasture getting her horse and training it with out her permission and then taking it to the vet, without her consent, and giving her the bill!!! Do you know what would happen? I would probably get shot! Seriously, I would be met with a shot gun, being asked just what the he!! I was doing with her horse (my neighbor is my cousin, I know exactly what she would do!).
Why people in a barn think this is OK is beyond me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## toto (Mar 3, 2013)

The surprise chiro bill is over the top crazy- the bo must be really good friends with that woman because any barn i been to would have kicked her out after she messed with another boarders horses with out permission- not OK to mess with someones horses unless its an emergency!


----------



## IRaceBarrels (Jan 21, 2012)

I think you're handling it great! I would have fists flying. If it were me I would let my BO know that if anything like that happened again its either her leaving or me. How do people justify messing with other people's horses? Seriously I want to know. My car has an out back up light. If my neighbor comes over and starts messing with it he is going to get some firm words from me. Even if he is trying to help.
I think there should be a universal law in equine boarding: if it isn't yours don't touch it. 80% of barn drama would end.


----------



## KigerQueen (Jun 16, 2013)

If someone took my horse out without my permission it would take something short of a court order to keep me off them! My mare is a sweet heart on the ground but i dont trust other people riding her. She can be stupid and she would hurt someone. 

If i was you i would have filed a complaint to the police sooner. She could have damaged your older mare and done irreversible damage to the other. I have seen people abuse horses before, and sadly i have learned that you cant fix stupid so unless they are new owners and don't know what to do, i stay out of it. This lady needs to get a clue and work with her OWN horses! You are NOT being abusive to your horses, and you are NOT her groom! She has no RIGHT to act like that towards you.


----------



## faye (Oct 13, 2010)

Im on a livery yard and I can tell you that you are NOT over reacting, I'd have thumped her long ago.

You are not her groom, so if she tries to order you round the answer is no, infact if she keeps asking the answer would steadily become ruder. I'd also hand her a bill for all the work you have already done for her and for the time she has used your horses.

I'd also start talking with the police!

The girls on my yard are lovely, but they wouldnt touch my horse without my express permission except in an emergency (Injury, colic, escapee horsey who has ignored the electric fence etc) where they would assume permission, call the vet if nessecary and then call me (obviously for escapee's they fix the fence and pop him back in his field). 

I'd ALWAYS be told if anyone had to handle my horse in any way. I'm fine with them all handling him anyway because they are nice normal good horsemen/women with good common sense and non of them are natural horsemanship fanatics.


----------



## CandyCanes (Jul 1, 2013)

I know what I'd do... And I have a very quick temper! 
I'd kick that women up the A** is what I'd do!


----------



## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

No you are not overreacting-at all! What I do not understand is why the BO keeps this woman around? Surely she can get another boarder who will be much less trouble. Honestly-I would have told the BO LONG ago that it was her or me. One of the boarders who used to be at the place I board at had an NH instructor out for a lesson *once*. The instructor proceeded to tell me I was cruel for using a rope halter with a bull snap under the chin (I did not ask her opinion!)......she has never been allowed back on the property. BO and I had it out with her......We knew the horse I was working with at the time-the instructor did not. Butterfly farts and unicorns. Phooey.


----------



## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

Definitely not overreacting in the least! That makes me angry for you. What gall that woman has. If I were in that situation, I'd be gone, yesterday. The only way I'd consider staying would be if the crazy lady were asked to leave and IMO, that should have been done the first time she was out of line. 

I have 2 boarders here in my extra pastures and can't even imagine one of them getting out another's horse for any reason let alone having chiro work done. And if they did, they would be gone. Immediately.


----------



## tlkng1 (Dec 14, 2011)

I have only ever gone into another owner's stall for something other than an emergency and that was to put the horse's blanket back on when the owner refused to do it as "that was the barn staff's responsibility." Given that temps were getting down below 0 that night and the horse had a very thin coat, I made the decision to put the blanket back on (I did report that I did so to the barn manager however).

It takes a lot of brass buttons for anyone to go into a horse's stall and start working a massage or even more, what is the word, chutzpah, for someone to call in a chiropractor. On top of that, I wold be curious to know what story she told the chiropractor in order to get them to work on a horse she didn't own...that could be cause for them losing their license to do work on a horse that wasn't the property, or responsibility, of the person requesting the service..the other question..was the chiropractor actually licensed?

No, I would say you are not over reacting and agree with others that I wouldn't have been so, tolerant (for lack of a better term) of this person. She would have known even before I went to the manager how I felt about her interference.

The barn owner/manager needs to seriously consider asking this woman to leave...has there been any evidence she has been doing this with other horses? You could have a harassment claim as well to use as more leverage to get her to leave you and your horses alone.

Natural horsemanship has its place but with anything people can become so fanatical they lose all touch with common sense..at that point the practice (any practice where people can become fanatics) becomes dangerous.


----------



## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

That's... insane.

I give my trainer permission to use my horse in lessons with adv. beginners and up because I don't live in the area (in the process of moving). But if someone got my horse without my permission and started doing Natural Horsemanship stuff with him (which is not my cup of tea) I would be absolutely furious. She has no right to touch your horses, let alone help herself to them.

Your BO needs to seriously consider having this woman kicked out... It is a huge liability (for everyone involved!) to have her messing with horses that don't belong to her.


----------



## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

What in the world?! That woman needs to be turfed out and if your BO didn't do that when she took your horse to work him, never mind calling a chiro for it, then you need to leave that place! That's insane! Just for my own curiosity, does this crazy dame interfere with other boarders' horses as well?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## texasgal (Jul 25, 2008)

If that woman had lived to touch my horse a SECOND time .... she'd know in no uncertain terms that she is not to touch my horse or talk to my kid.

I'm afraid I'd be charged with assault....


----------



## TessaMay (Jul 26, 2013)

If I had showed up to a barn and my horse was being worked by someone I didn't give permission to I would have screamed at her and applied "pressure" to her with her own carrot stick!!


----------



## Samstead (Dec 13, 2011)

oh jeez, well I can tell you that woman would have gotten an earful from me, a very loud, furious one and I rarely yell at people I don't know. If sanyone at my barn worked a horse without the owners permission they'd be out before they could blink, the owner would have lost it and everyone else would have backed them up.


----------



## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

I'm glad that I'm not overreacting! The BO keeps her around because recently a someone dumped 5 horses on the property (literally, one morning I came out and there were 5 extra horses). Unfortunately the barn also needs to be repaired and she does bring in money big time with all of her supplements, handling fees, training, etc. (sounds horrible to say it that way). There really aren't any more good payers like the lady.  As to the chiropractor issue, I'm pretty sure it was a no questions asked. Where we live there aren't a lot of horse people who use that sort of doctor, and I'm pretty sure he'd want the money before he'd ask questions at least that's the opinion I got from the few times I met him when he worked on her horses. 

We all tried being nice at first (she is a bit eccentric and was only ever at a NH barn and a posh show barn and at first we just thought that she had trouble making friends, adjusting to our farmer mentality, etc because of that) but it got to the point where the BO told her to mind her own **** business, leave others alone or get the boot. I got a text after this episode and my boss said if she was doing something to our horses again to shove a whip up someplace unpleasant and then tell her and she'd make sure the lady left same day. 

The thing that really gets me is her cocky attitude, I've had a couple of thoughts to put her on my mare who doesn't like leg and see how long she lasts! 

In all fairness to my BO she did ask if we wanted the lady kicked out because of these issues (the same day they happened), but I guess I'm too nice in some respects to my boss so I told her to keep her around so she can repair her barn quicker. My boss and I did have a 'conversation' with the woman about touching my horses, treating people as inferiors and think she got the message this time. 

Aside from her own horses she interacts with some training horses (doesn't try anything with them) so I think we're the only ones that she feels.... I dunno, obligated to work. :-| I honestly believe that she fixates on ours because the skittish horse is a rescue and she thinks that we have only compounded on the problem, and our mare because the horse is very tolerant. She is terrified to death of horses although she won't admit it so I think our two are the only ones that don't scare her (hers do). 

I don't think the chiropractor got to do anything to her because we heard from a barn that uses him and apparently he came in with a huge mark on him..... I think and hope my mare might have had a little to do with that..... 

Honestly though, if I had another barn that was as good as this one I would probably consider moving. But here I know that my mare is given everything she wants, our geldings taken care of by the woman who retrained him (the BO) and is outside 24/7 like he wants to be. I've already told the BO though that if she decides to set a toe outta line with my again my patience is GONE I will make sure she knows her place. I can tolerate a lot but she's broken that final string. 


PS: I'm not a fan of natural horsemanship, but I don't want to ever come across as bashing it! I respect others training methods... I just don't like fanatics who give methods a bad name.


----------



## Prunella1 (Jun 2, 2013)

Girl, you have every right to vent!! And, I would videotape her butt everytime you see her near your horse or if she ever touches your horse. I would file a complaint with any associations that your barn owner is affiliated with, such as BBB, AQHA, etc. Let this woman know that you mean business. How would she like a taste of her own medicine....I would be standing at the fence or stall making notes on how her horses react to her. It wouldn't surprise me if they had issues with her as well! 

I learned along time ago that sometimes you learn to fight fire with a bigger fire. Do your homework on this lady and see if she has had any complaints at other barns. Put a camera somewhere and record her. You have every right to protect your horses and if she doesn't listen, then she should pay for any damage she may cause to your horses' health and well being.


----------



## Iseul (Mar 8, 2010)

I have to say, I'd probably have ripped my horse away from her, hopped on, and promptly chased her with intent to trample her.

It is NOT okay to touch someone else's horse without permission. Mayyybe a scratch on the neck or something out in the field (everyone knows I love on my old lease horses when I'm out), but to "train" someone else's horse without permission, I don't think so.

We're real good with sharing at the barn I'm at because we're all a big family pretty much, been together with horses for a good 6-7 years. Just recently one of the lease kids bought the BO a girth extender and something else in exchange for using her old english saddle to teach the other leasor how to ride english a bit because that's what she'll be riding on her equestrian team next year.

But the fact still stands, if there is not explicit authorization given, it doesn't get touched or messed with regardless of it being tack, brushes, fly spray, etc. And a horse is at the very top of that list.

I know you aren't like me, OP, but you really do need to say something to her..specifically something rude..when she tella you to do something for her like her groom. I've had people act like that to me at MM before I left and came home, and you can bet I told them where to shove it, accompanied by a threat to do so. If I'm not getting paid and I'm TOLD, it doesn't happen. I do favours for people all the time, but those people have never tried to tell me to do something, they either asked politely or accepted my offer to help.

I'd be devastated to leave the barn I'm at now, but if it came to the wellbeing of my horse (especially a boarder that BO wouldn't kick out), I'd be gone in a heartbeat, even if that meant a late phone bill and no food for that week/month.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## palogal (May 30, 2008)

Wow....she would be missing some teeth the first time she touched my horse. The second time, I would most likely be in jail.


----------



## Palomine (Oct 30, 2010)

Move. NOW.

This is exactly the type of person that will do something to injure or poison your horse so she can call AC on you.

And while BO might be acting in front of you like she is on your side? She isn't.

Matter of fact, I would not be surprised if this fruitloop is not some idiot sent to this barn to cause trouble since so many die hard AR fans think horses should not be owned.

AND I would call that chiro and read them a riot act too for working on YOUR horses.


----------



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

The fact of the matter is this crazy boarder is a valuable asset to the barn. If the BO has talked to her and nothing has changed (it seems like it's honestly getting worse) then it's likely the BO isn't going to do much else because of the revenue this lady brings.

To save your horse's minds, and your sanity, you would likely have to find a different place to board.


----------



## palogal (May 30, 2008)

If your parents are paying the bills, you need to go through them. Have a talk with them and see if they will let you find somewhere else to take them. If not, I would alert every farrier, chiro, vet, chief cook and bottle washer in town that no one is to touch your animals without your permission.


----------



## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

I can say for a fact that the BO is on our side. Honestly she's told me if she didn't need the money for repairs right now the lady would be out on the road. I'm okay with her being there and obnoxious (I'll have no problem telling her where to stick it at this point) so long as she stays away from my horses. I've told this to the BO and she's in agreement. So far no problems have raised of that nature. The vets and farrier in this area know us so they'll know when we call for and make sure we're there. 

Palomine I really don't think it would be her to poison any horse out there since all of them eat outta the same area, and she's psychically intuned with them and their health conditions.  Plus she thinks it's below her to feed the horses, and doesn't believe in treats. If I had any worry of that I'd have been outta there in a heartbeat!

Edit: If I would move the closest place is about 4 hours away. We had boarded there before we moved here but while there our horses got sick and their feet got swollen up from a mud rash. The people had a 1 acre field that our two were suppose to have, but next time we went out they had crammed three others in there who were all mean Percheron who beat up on ours. Plus they refused to increase our feed and when our horses got skinny we moved out to our trainers new place. Moving really isn't a feasible option right now, and honestly with what my boss has told me I'll be more than happy to send the lady packing then pack up myself.


----------



## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

You have allowed it to get this far, by not dealing with all of the smaller things you listed at first. 




Incitatus32 said:


> Soon however she began to order me around like I was her groom, 'teach me' about things that my boss was teaching me to do correctly, and even interrupting my dressage instructor who came out to tell her how to teach me. Many times when I was fixing fencing in an empty field she would turn horses out and then proceed to stand over me as I did my job, like I'm a devious person out to maim horses. When I would bring up my gelding (who's spooky and isn't really a fan of new people at first) she would do 'pressure points' to 'ease' his worrying without my consent and ignore my 'no's..... and freaked him out so bad I couldn't get him into the barn easily for a few weeks. Whenever I ride she would come over, and instruct me on what I was doing wrong (for instance my mare doesn't cue with any leg, she hates it) and verbally berate me for being cruel and immature with my riding.



You are allowing her to walk all over you, and that's one thing, but when she brought up your gelding and put her hands on him, you needed to stop that right then and there. If you choose to allow her to treat you badly, that's one thing, but she shouldn't be putting her hands on your horse, and it's your responsibility to protect your horse. 

As you allowed all of this, then she's the type to think she can work your horse. 




Incitatus32 said:


> I went out a few weeks later and saw the lady out there working a horse in the roundpen using her natural horsemanship. I didn't think two things of it and was going into the barn to sit while my mom went and got my mare when I poked my head out the door to see her working our gelding (the skittish horse). He was dripping in sweat and my mom gave her a talking to and brought him up.


and what did you do? Why didn't you see it was your horse being worked as you drove in? 

If she had put her hands on my horse or worked him, she would have been finding her teeth in the toilet bowl the next day, after she passed them.


----------



## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

The roundpen is out back, it's barely visible from the road or the front part of the barn. You have to go inside and out the back way to fully see it (other than what you can see through trees) if I had seen her sooner I would have been at her quicker. I think I made my moms conversation with her sound a little too nice.... it was far from it, personally I wasn't there so I don't know what was said. I do know that I'm too nice about some things. I don't want to give the vision that I would let her do anything to my horses without a word of protest though. Had I caught her doing anything right now I'd be on her in a heartbeat. I don't jump to physical confrontation right off the bat but it's gotten to that point now where I will. Lesson learned, sometimes being nice is stupid. I'm hopeful though that there will be no more issues! But I've decided that I've had enough of her crap and I'm not gonna be that doormat again.


----------



## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I am very confused, you are not making sense, and contradicting yourself. 



Incitatus32 said:


> The roundpen is out back, it's barely visible from the road or the front part of the barn. You have to go inside and out the back way to fully see it (other than what you can see through trees) if I had seen her sooner I would have been at her quicker.





Incitatus32 said:


> I went out a few weeks later and saw the lady out there working a horse in the roundpen using her natural horsemanship. I didn't think two things of it and was going into the barn to sit while my mom went and got my mare when I poked my head out the door to see her working our gelding (the skittish horse).


If it's out back, how did you see it driving in? 





Incitatus32 said:


> We got there and lone behold there was said woman, poking and prodding on my mares back and irritating the crap outta her. When we came in and saw that we both went livid. She then had the gall to give us a chiropractic bill from her chiropractor that was over $300 for a checkup which lone behold: nothing was wrong.
> 
> We found out afterwords from the doc that she had worked my horse using her NH methods for well over an hour.


how does this happen? The BO has told her to stop, your Mom apparently told her to stop, and she's still doing it, and then boarding there? 

I smell a whole side of another story, or something else. This stuff doesn't just happen like that.


----------



## AQHSam (Nov 23, 2011)

I would not recommend moving. This girl works there. The BO is responsible for this solution and should have the NH woman move out. No person should touch any horse at the barn without permission. That should be a deal breaker. 

The BO needs to protect her workers and the horses in her charge from this behavior. 

If she refuses to then yes. Time to move on. But the OP should press the BO to resolve this once and for all.


----------



## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

Sorry Alex S I should have clarified more my fault! If you stand by the road and look towards the barn there's a line of trees that is in front of the roundpen that goes almost to the barn (but leaves a small gap for a path). During this time of year where I'm at you can see glimpses of a horse if it's being worked in the roundpen from the road because the trees aren't so thick they just kinda shield the general area). The incident of working our skittish horse and the incident involving my mare happened about two months apart. My bad! Sorry, I think I went too fast in the original explanation! 

As to the other side of the story/something else there's always two sides and I might be overreacting to some of her comments and misrepresenting my side/situation because of emotional interference on my part. 

PS. I love your profile picture!


----------



## 2BigReds (Oct 7, 2011)

I can't even imagine what I would do if someone touched my horse without permission. Good lord, there would be hell to pay, though! Grr, grinds my gears just thinking about it!!!

I really hope for everyones' sakes that your BO wises up. While I understand that she needs the board money for barn repairs, a lawsuit involving this woman could cost her the whole dang barn and then some. :/


----------



## Boo Walker (Jul 25, 2012)

There's no harm going directly to her and telling her very directly and firmly, "you are never allowed to touch / handle my horse. Doing so will be seen as a form of horse stealing and the police will be notified. No excuses, no exceptions." 
You also need to repeat this information in writing to the barn owner, who can be seen as a liable accomplice if the instructions aren't respected and enforced on his property. People don't normally like conflict and if the BO is a nice and understanding person that's great, but being a BO has a lot more responsibility than just collecting money every month. It may be beneficial to ask the BO to call you and her together so you can make sure everyone understands your wishes. And she will know this is serious, people will be watching, and it is never going to be tolerated.
She's not legally allowed to drive another persons' car without permission, this situation is no different.


----------



## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

Palomine said:


> Move. NOW.
> 
> This is exactly the type of person that will do something to injure or poison your horse so she can call AC on you.
> 
> ...


This isn't the first thread that you've suggested that a 'crazy boarder' would potentially injure or poison the OP's horse.. I'm not sure it's conducive to suggest that a person would do such a thing. The chances of that happening are slim to none, no need to scare people 

I do agree that you need to move your horse though, OP. I wouldn't stand for anyone messing with my horse without my permission.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Dustbunny (Oct 22, 2012)

OP...I can't add to what others have commented.
It sounds like a good barn for you and your horses. Hopefully, you have the problem situation handled. Just don't let her push you at all!

Most natural horsemanship principles are very sound...are nothing new...and have been used by expert horsemen for a very long time. BUT the Natural Horsemanship Idiots are a whole other issue! That's all I can say...


----------



## BarrelracingArabian (Mar 31, 2010)

Well you are calmer then I . I once had a girl take my bridle use it and then leave it out in the sun (100+ degrees during summer). Now there were tons of the BOs snaffle bridles she chose to use mine an she got an earful because she knew better then to take from the personal tack area. 

Honestly that women would have already had more then just a talk I would have gone off. It is absolutely mind blowing that not once, not twice but multiple times she pulled this stuff. The police would have been knocking on her door with a restraining order by the time I was done with her.


----------



## NaeNae87 (Feb 26, 2013)

OMG!

What a raving loony. If she had touched either of my horses I would have given her a piece of my mind, followed by a letter to both her and the BO stating that under no uncertain circumstances is anyone to touch my horses except in the case of Colic, Injury, illness or escaping and I must be notified as soon as possible once it has happened. If she had ignored it, then I would have gone to the police. 

OP I hope you get all this sorted. Don't let this person walk all over you. If the BO is truly on your side, then they should be re-iterating to this loon that you are not her groom and she is not to boss you around. Stand up for your self, take a concrete pill and harden up. *I do mean that in a nice way*  

Be firm with this person and let her know where you stand on her interfering and also that there will be consequences if she does not stop. If you say you will go to the police, actually do it. Follow through. If she feels like you are all talk and she will not get into trouble, then is she likely to stop? I think not. 

Its easy for all of us sitting behind computers saying "oh, I would have done this" and "she wouldn't have lived if she had tried that with me," I get the feeling if we are all being literal and not exaggerating slightly, we would have a few people behind bars or in anger management.


----------



## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

I appreciate all the words, advice, etc!  I'm usually blunt and to the point with most people, I just think what happened was I didn't think it would escalate like it did... and definitely not twice! So far we're good and since I've been unable to get back out lately my boss talked to me and said that she'd had a more in depth chat with the lady and that there shouldn't be anymore problems. I'm hoping for the best! 

P.S. NaeNae: I appreciate the concrete pill and am taking it now for further encounters of this kind!


----------



## Palomine (Oct 30, 2010)

JustDressageIt said:


> This isn't the first thread that you've suggested that a 'crazy boarder' would potentially injure or poison the OP's horse.. I'm not sure it's conducive to suggest that a person would do such a thing. The chances of that happening are slim to none, no need to scare people
> 
> I do agree that you need to move your horse though, OP. I wouldn't stand for anyone messing with my horse without my permission.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I suggest that because in my almost 58 years now I have seen enough that I don't put anything past someone that is acting like a nutcase. Which this person is.



While you don't think it is conducive? It does happen and forewarned is forearmed too.

Horses get mistreated ALL the time by an angry fellow boarder, the feed gets dumped, the water dumped, stall door is left open, gate is left ajar, something dumped in feed tub to make horse colic, or turned out by BO to fend for self, or left tied to a tree with the threat that if horse wasn't off property in 1 hour, when owner lived 3 hours away at time of call the fool was going to just run the TB out into the highway.

I also know of trainer that damaged horse's eye to point needed shunt put in because the owner wanted to move her horses. Oh the story was it just happened. Pretty odd that it happened day after owner made last payment on the horse, and they took horse to vet and got surgery without notifying owner isn't it? 

They also get chased into fences, run around pens, and shot with BB guns. Or their hooves whacked with hammers.

If you don't realize things happen like this frequently? Then you have some really nice rose colored glasses, and live in a fairy tale world where everyone is your friend and just loves you to death. Good for you.

I deal with reality. Which is why I do point out that the horses are incapable of protecting themselves and that you can never be sure of what someone is capable of.


----------



## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

wow! I can totally get the whole "too nice for your own good" thing because im guilty of letting people get the better of me too. 

HOPEFULLY the treat of legal action/eviction will get this hooter off yalls backs and there wont be any more trouble with her.

if there is though don't hesistate to go straight to the BO and have this lady booted out the door with whiplash.

im sure everybody else has already said it (my adhd is kicking in hard core lol) but if it does get worse and the BO doesn't help then maybe....maybe think about moving too. even if your job is here...its not worth the mental and physical stress for you and your horses to be in the situation.


----------



## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

I agree whole heartedly Roperchick! Glad to know I'm not the only one!


----------



## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

MOD note:

A whole lot of unnecessary crude language was removed. it IS true that we are a family friendly forum and those who warned against using crude language are very right to do so. Please don't just let it all hang out.


----------



## thetempest89 (Aug 18, 2013)

I don't know how you stayed so calm. I hate people like that, they just have the need to create more drama by being so judgmental of other horse people. Those are the worst. Sorry you had to endure that. Some people are just nuts.


----------



## Valentina (Jul 27, 2009)

So now you have set her straight not to touch your horses and she has a bill SHE is required to pay (chiro) since you did not request the chiro to work on your horse.

As for her treating you with no respect - as much as possible ignore her. If she requests you do something for her state politely that you are paid by the BO and only take instructions from the BO as to the work you are assigne to perform.

I would also type out a 'cease and desist' letter and hand it to her (with witnesses like the BO, NOT anyone related to you or a friend) while telling her the contents of the letter. Tell her the letter staties she is NEVER to handle your horses - period the end. If she does so again you will be contacting the authorities and telling them you have a someone "using your property" like taking your car on ajoy ride it is illegal for someone to "use" your horse - for whetever reason - without your approval. Be sure to state out loud to BO and this "stalker" that ALL permissions form you about your horses that involve her WILL be in writing ONLY - no verbal permissions, so BO is to assume NH lady is lieing unless she can produce a letter stating your permission. 

Lady is not quite right - so if you make it difficult enough she'll probably start on someone else. Eventually the BO will need to kick hre out of the barn since her bahavior is unacceptable - but it will take a while to do so - and having written documentation that crazy lady and BO both have copies of will only help BO get rid of crazy lady sooner, rather than later.


----------



## Oliveren15 (Apr 28, 2013)

I also don't know how you were so serene an calm about it. I tip my hat to you! As was said before, she could have really messed up your older mare's back and caused damage mentally to your gelding. Currently I'm the only boarder at my barn, but if someone were to come and work or chiro-prise Oliver without my permission they would have been wearing my shoe home in their behind and I would be out of the barn ASAP! I'm sorry for you and your horses. Best of luck


----------



## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

any updates OP? is loco lady leaving y'all alone now?


----------



## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

Sorry I meant to give an update sooner but I got hurt and had to have surgery so I've been offline! haha 

The lady has been leaving us alone (thankfully) and we've had no further incidents! Yay! The BO has been really helpful and more so now that this is out in the open! 
To answer a few questions that have been asked: 
I have no idea if the chiropractor ever got paid lol we never paid him, it was her bill and her buisness and he never tried to get anything from us (I did hear from the other barn he goes to that he refuses to work on our mare again which made me wonder what she did to him lol) 
Our gelding is none the worse for wear and is still very loveable he seemed to understand she was crazy and that we're not as bad! 
My mare still ornery and grumpy as usual (only now she's picked up the awful habit of pretending to be lame when I'm riding, in all my years of working with horses I've never seen one do this and I know she's faking because even the farrier could find nothing wrong) so there goes my credibility to strangers lol 
I don't know how I stayed calm but I've always been a person who won't do anything until the final straw is broke.


----------



## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

Oh! I did mean to ask a question a bit unrelated because everyone has been helpful and such (a big thank you to all of you!  ) 

I've had to delay my time at college due to the injury mentioned above. My college was a couple hours away and so I am leaving my older mare at home because I know she'll be taken care of until I decide to bring her up or come home. 

My plan was to find a barn to work at because I need animal experience and this directly impacts my career of a large animal vet (plus I love to do it as a job). I was wondering when I should start placing adds/looking? Best case scenario I will be up there by spring but I don't know if I'll be able to ride and stick like I used to or anything (I'll know more after christmas). So when would you start looking/placing adds? I was thinking if I couldn't ride/do that well I would offer to do farm work, help with lessons, helping start horses on the ground, stuff like that. 

A big thank you to everyone who responded and gave advide!


----------



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Incitatus32 said:


> My plan was to find a barn to work at because I need animal experience and this directly impacts my career of a large animal vet (plus I love to do it as a job). I was wondering when I should start placing adds/looking? Best case scenario I will be up there by spring but I don't know if I'll be able to ride and stick like I used to or anything (I'll know more after christmas). So when would you start looking/placing adds? I was thinking if I couldn't ride/do that well I would offer to do farm work, help with lessons, helping start horses on the ground, stuff like that.


I'd contact barn owners directly with your experience and such. Maybe even see about interning with the barn vet as another option.

Hope you find what you're looking for!


----------



## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

OP-horses do not "fake" lameness. Just because your farrier could find nothing wrong does not mean it isn't.
Hope you feel better soon, and I also hope the crazy lady continues to leave your horses alone.


----------



## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

I don't think its too early to be contacting barns. At least to get the word out and let them know that you're potentially looking to be/work there in spring.

That way at least theyll have you in mind and then when it gets closer they can maybe hold a spot or something.

As foe faking lameness or not....debatable.  my mare was a master of being "sore" if I walked towards her with a halter. Then if I detoured to an other horse she wamagically fine again. 


Not saying you should only take the farriers word for it. I would think about a 2nd opinion before deciding she's a faker.


----------



## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

Franknbeans I agree, but I've had 2 vets and 2 farriers out to look at her and they found nothing wrong. Completely sound. lol the best I can assume is that she fakes it because every time I say her name and go 'watch it' she hops right back up like nothing's wrong. It's by far one of the weirdest things I have ever seen lol 

Thanks for the thoughts I appreciate it!


----------



## Alexmac156 (Jul 15, 2013)

I'm proud of the fact that you were able to deal with this crazy situation multiple times. I think all it would take is one time from some person I don't know working my horse, and poking at it.. and I would be livid. My horse is my family. You can mess with me all you want.. but don't touch my family. lol. I think you went about the situation very well. You seemed calm, and you went the appropriate route each time. I truly hope things get better for you.


----------



## cowgirllinda1952 (Apr 15, 2013)

Poisoning or otherwise messing with someone elses horse is not as far fetched as some might think. I personally knew of someone who would go over and empty the water containers of people she was mad at, and then call animal control. Of course, there was never any proof, she was never caught, but people knew. Someone who is as unhinged as it sounds,is capable of stooping to any level


----------

