# Quick question to all you trainers out there;



## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

I'd probably leave out the trainer part and just say something like "you a great rider! You handled those bucks so well". 

And if I was the trainer I wouldn't be mad. And if she is does get mad what's the worst thing that can happen? She gives you some 'tude? 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gssw5 (Jul 30, 2013)

I think that is very thoughtful that you wanted to offer some encouragement. 

As a parent/trainer if one of my girls was in the middle of a meltdown I would not welcome anyone coming up and saying anything at that point, even with good intentions. The child is in a bad place at that point and will not hear it, they need time to compose themselves, decompress and recover. 

Once the crisis is over, and everyone is recovered that would be a good time to just ride over and say something encouraging, better yet watch the class and offer some kind words when she comes out.


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## Kay Armstrong (Jun 28, 2015)

I would agree, once the crisis is over...offer encouragement. A little reinforcement goes a long way.


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## blue eyed pony (Jun 20, 2011)

As a person who still has to deal with meltdowns of my own on occasion...

In the middle of it, I hear all encouragement as sarcasm, and all critique (helpful or otherwise) as a personal attack. After it's over, I really appreciate a kind word. Critique isn't helpful until the next day. I know that wasn't mentioned in this thread but hopefully if I raise awareness of how I feel, someone else might know what to do when they come across a rider who's on the tail end of a major meltdown.


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## gigem88 (May 10, 2011)

Always give encouragement to a child or young rider if you can, is my motto. I know as an "adult", I appreciate kind words when things aren't going as planned. A simple "it happens and you're doing fine or keep at it, it'll get better" would suffice in most situations whether she's handling it well or not.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Honestly, I think you're overthinking this  What you said would have been fine.


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

I've been in that situation. Once I remember trying to give the rider encouragement only to be told to mind my own business by her non-horsey mother. Hey... I've been there, I know how it feels to be the underdog.

Other times the rider or parent have been very grateful for my comments. I think they thing is, you do what you feel is right knowing that your heart is in the right place. (Just always remember horse people are crazy)....


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

As long as its just something like 'well ridden there' after the incident is truly over its OK - just don't try to offer advice as this can often be taken offence at


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## mangomelon (May 11, 2012)

As a rider, I would find that comforting to have someone tell me that.

If the trainer gets annoyed, let them be annoyed. If your comment truly came from a good intention of trying to comfort and encourage another rider, it could only help. Sometimes it might not, but I can't imagine it making it worse. We have all experienced horses misbehaving and things that didn't happen the way we intended and it helps me to have someone give an encouraging comment


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## Dustbunny (Oct 22, 2012)

I'd wait until after the kerfuffle is past.


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## Acadianartist (Apr 21, 2015)

I think a word of encouragement would have been appreciated. That could have been my 10 yr old daughter last Friday. She was at a small local (informal) show and some idiot in the front row of the stands opened his umbrella just as her horse was walking by for the first time - a bad way to start off. They had asked people before the show NOT to use umbrellas except in the back row. Her horse jumped five feet to the side and got a little batty, started going sideways across the arena, but she did her best keeping him under control and eventually got him to settle down. The announcer got on the microphone and asked again for people not to use umbrellas in the front row and explained that this horse was getting spooked by one. I was relieved for her sake that everyone was so understanding. 

She ended up going home with a first place trophy  And I made sure to praise her for keeping her horse under control in difficult circumstances and coming home with a well-deserved win. It's all part of learning! But kids especially need that pat on the back.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I would have appreciated hearing a kind word from someone my own age, my peer group, not an adult I didn't know.


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