# A Messy Free Boarding Issue - Really Need Advice



## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

Okay, I am starting to get really frustrated with this whole situation. About two years ago, I got my own horse, Rusty. We set up outdoor fencing for him and had a round pen in a shed for when it wasn't nice outside. A family friend, "Joe", wanted to get a horse for his daughter, "Kiki", and he told me he knew a lot about horses and could help me with Rusty, since Rusty and I were having issues. I was at the end of the rope with my horse, so I said yes to his help. He bought Bonnie, a three year old Belgian, for Kiki. 

Bonnie ate up our pasture. Joe always said he was going to help my dad fence in the rest of it. He never did.

Joe, at first, was helpful in helping me figure out Rusty. He could sometimes get him on the trailer, and he did take me and a couple of friends down to a trail ride two nights. Also, he has helped find some western tack and did buy some of it for me and Rusty. This was back a few years ago. I no longer need any of this tack because Rusty and I switched to English. 

After seeing Bonnie misbehave (I don't know why he bought this stupid horse), he bought another horse, Snowy. Snowy was 4 years old and had 30 days training. She was a supposed pocket horse. So now there's three horses, including Rusty, in my pasture.

After Snowy threw Joe off and proved her lack of training, Joe bought an 18 year old Quarter Horse that was acutally a good fit for Kiki, who was now taking lessons. Because he was broke, he asked my mom for a loan for the horse. 

In exchange for Snowy's foal (she had a chance of being pregnant), he got a 7 year old Paint mare with navicular. She was rideable, but was gimpy and way too excitable. 

At one point, we had 5 horses in a pasture meant for one or two horses. Joe finally sold Bonnie. 

Over the winter, Joe always said he was going to buy hay. He never did. We used hay for his horses and my horse from our own field. He started to never come out and see his horses.

Last spring, the 18 year old QH he had was put down because of a leg injury. The other horses, the Paint, Snowy, and my horse Rusty are currently still here.

I did show Dolly (Paint) and Snowy in the county fair with Joe's permission, along with my Rusty. I have put friends on them a few times. Joe pulled his daughter out of lessons because he got mad over the instructor only having certain lessons times. Kiki cannot ride any of these horses except maybe Rusty. Without my permission, Joe has used Rusty many times for his daughter and for him up to this day. I do not like the way Joe rides or how he handles Rusty, and his daughter is too inexperienced. Rusty and I have come great strides in jumping, and he is under training. I don't want him to get confused with Joe's riding. Joe would also use Rusty's tack and my other equipment that I BOUGHT and wouldn't put it back, or it would magically disappear. We bought a new horse trailer this past summer, and my dad let Joe use it and let him take Rusty to a horse show for his daughter while I was at a show 2 hours away riding a lesson horse.

Joe has said he is going to help out with a whole bunch of stuff but never has. His horses are still eating our hay, but my parents refuse to do anything about it. I have tried talking with them, but they say he's their friend. Oh, and he never paid back that loan for the 18 year old QH to my mom. And she's not pressing the issue. 

Recently, we got another horse for my niece to ride, so I now have Knight and Rusty. Knight is at the bottom of the pecking order, and Joe's horses steal his hay and feed (they are not grained). I don't have the equipment to make another pen with a run-in shed, and Knight eats too slowly for me to wait for him to eat everything out there and protect him. I don't know how to put up fencing anyway, and my dad is always too busy. I want Knight and Rusty to bond, but these other horses get in the way! 

I don't know what to do! I can't stop feeding these other horses, but it's not like I want them to push around Knight! They have caused me more trouble than good, and I am tired of Joe showing up and trying out Rusty! He even thinks Rusty responds to him better than me! I AM SO FED UP!

WHAT DO I DO????


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## CLaPorte432 (Jan 3, 2012)

It's your property right? Tell your parents to kick him and his horses off and wash your hands clean of them.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

There are so many blurred lines here... is this your property?

Personally I would get in writing that you are going to start charging him for hay and if he doesn't pay then you kick him and his horses out. I would have started this agreement in writing, because "oh I'll pay for hay" is just a string of words, not a binding agreement. What happens when one of the horses gets hurt and there's a huge vet bill.. who pays it? Do you think he will after using your horse and failing to pay the hay expenses?

Treat this like a business arrangement. Get it in writing, and kick his butt out if he doesn't pay.


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## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

I would LOVE to. But the thing is, this is technically my parent's property. And my parents are letting him keep his horses here, not me. If it were my decision, I would have had his horses to the curb a long time ago. But they won't do anything about it! I tried confronting my dad about either kicking the horses out or having him pay board and he's like, "Joe's my friend...I haven't kicked your friends out of my house, so KNOCK IT OFF."

UGH. My parents are way too nice.


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## JustEvent (May 22, 2012)

Since your parents won't take any action, there really isn't much you can do.

If you want him to leave Rusty alone, why not mention it. Say "Hey Joe, Rusty is in training and I'd really prefer him to not be ridden by other people right now."


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## stevenson (Sep 12, 2011)

Tell your parents he is ruining the training, money and time on your horses.
Tell him to leave your tack alone, you paid for it. period. Lock your tack up someplace. Even if it is in your bedroom. He will be there for as long as your parents allow it. IF you wanted to cause trouble you could ask him does he feel guilty for taking advantage of your parents? but then you would have your parents to deal with. Tell your parents you do not want him to mess with your animals.


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

Oh my goodness, what a mess. I sort of had a similar problem when I let some friends board at my place, they just took advantage. I feel your aggravation about Knight not getting to eat. It's weird but sometimes horses mirror us as people ;-) Knight is the trusting horse while the others run all over him. I know these friends horses mirrored their owners. I had so much fencing up on my property trying to make it so that every horse got their fair share of feed and no one picked on this one or that one, it was crazy. I was exhausted feeding in so many different pens and watering. So I finally told them all to go, except for one. I now have all 5 horses together they get along great.
I would tell him he can't ride Rusty, and please do not ask anymore. Give whatever reasons you want it's your horse. Could you get your sibling involved, to help out with your parents since Knight is for your niece.
It's so tough to tell your parents what to do since they are your parents. Your parents sound so nice and probably just don't see what you see. 
Before we had fencing around the whole property my husband put our gelding on a pic line. We had fencing on the back half but so that the horse was around us and giving him interaction he would put him on our front lawn on a pick line and he would graze. It wasn't hard to do. My friend trained her horse to come to the front gate and she opens it and his grain is in a bucket and once he finishes she opens the gate and he goes right back in, she started with a lead line but now she doesn't have to use one, he knows the drill. Just some suggestions to possibly help Knight gets some groceries in.


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## nvr2many (Jan 18, 2011)

Wowwwwwwwwwwwww! I don't know what to say other than I feel for you. I guess do what you can with what belongs to you and keep talking to your parents about the rest. Why are you the one taking care and feeding all the horses? That sucks! Sorry to hear, and please keep us posted on what happens.

Have to add. I am a don't touch what is mine person, I just do not know how you are keeping your cool!


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## calicokatt (Mar 5, 2012)

Either learn to build a fence yourself, recruit some friends to help you do it, or just suck it up and deal. I don't really see that you have any rights here. Its your parents' property, they can do what they like with it, and as much as you may not like it, if you're underage, the horses don't belong to you, they belong to your parents, and your parents get to decide who uses them and who doesn't. If you're an adult, then take your horses and move, end of story. I'm really sorry this is happening to you, and it sounds like it really sucks, but if you're a minor, the sooner you let go of what you can't change, the sooner you can move on and enjoy what you DO have, and if you're an adult, quit whining and move already!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

YOu cannot control a lot of this. you can lock up your tack and be extremely clear that no one is to ride Rusty without your permission.

You can also fee the horses in many seperate piles out on the ground so that Knight , if pushed off one pile , can find another. We do this where we have 15 horses pastured together.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Sounds to me that you thought Joe was great until he stopped buying stuff for you. Tell me OP, what happened to the tack that he bought for you that you're no longer using? Did you give it back to him, or sell it in order to buy what you have now? 

As far as the other things, this is what I'm hearing: 'I don't WANT him or his horses here, and my parents should cater to what I want, not do something nice for their friend!'

As Calico said, either quit yipping and find a way to fence in the extra pasture, or if you're at the age of majority, maybe it's time to move off your parents' property and find out what being an adult is all about.

If you're still a minor, separate the horses for feeding. You have a round pen. It can be used to make sure low man on the totem pole gets his fair share.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

Since it's your parents' place they have a deciding voice on what to do. Either try to explain it all to parents in a nice and calm manner (not angry and frustrated), or just deal with it. As for the guy using your horse, if it's indeed your horse (and not your parents), than just approach him and tell him straight "NO".


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## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

If you really want to know, the tack is still sitting in the tack room, unused. I stopped using it once I wanted Joe to stop using my horse. I don't want it, but I don't want to sell it, it's not mine. 

My round pen is being used as extra panels into the run-in shed. I cannot use it to separate this other horse. 

And just so you know, being 18 and going to the community college puts me in a very precarious situation. I can't afford boarding my horse somewhere and going off to another college. I work almost full-time trying to save money. And my friends don't know a thing about putting up fence panels. They aren't farm people or even horse people. I don't have the money or the experience to fence myself, and my parents won't be getting around to it.

If you can't give any good, helpful advice, get out of my thread. Nothing you said is helpful to my situation.


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

Guys some of you are being very harsh. It's nice to help a friend out, her parents are very sweet for doing that. That being said friendship is a two way street, it should go both ways. The deal was made in the beginning and he isn't holding up his side of it. If he doesn't want to help fence in property where he is getting free board and hay, then he should look to someplace else.
By the way they are her parents, if anyone should be taking advantage it should be her, not sure why some of you have sympathy for this guy.
Corazon do you have the authority to tell this guy to leave your horse alone? If you do then just tell him. Send him a email or do it in a text message if you feel intimidated to tell him to his face. Hang tough girl.


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

Corazon Lock said:


> WHAT DO I DO????


Until you move out or start paying the bills - nothing you can do.

As you stated your parents are not concerned. 

As a side note - Are you paying your parents for anything concerning your horses?


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## Kayella (Feb 11, 2012)

Being 19 myself, and yet to go to college, I still live at home and work full time. I pay my parents rent. The first of the month, I pay $140 to cover the cost of pasturing our two pasture puffs. The 15th of the month, I pay $100 for bills. After that, I buy everything myself. I paid my colt off in three months, paying $400 a month after the initial $300 deposit. I buy all of his tack, and will buy all of his food and board when he is weaned late August. Being a "college student" is no excuse. 

That being said, building a fence isn't difficult. My dad and I built a fence ourselves out in the pasture to divide the back pasture because people were cutting our fences and our horses were getting out. We finished the fence on father's day, and no one was there to help my dad except me. Get a plan together, decide what material you want to use for the fence, and see if you can get someone to help. Initiate a conversation with Joe! "Would you be able to help me build a fence like you promised when you got here? It'd be a difficult job to do myself." It's simple. Don't expect help if you don't ask for it.


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## calicokatt (Mar 5, 2012)

It sounds to me like you're a pretty lucky girl. You're an adult and yet your parents are still letting you live at home. They're still paying for horses that they don't get use out of. That doesn't sound like a precarious position to me, it sounds like a position wherein you should be very grateful for the parents you have. 

Now, the only thing it sounds like you can do is build a fence. You don't have to use panels. How about electric fence to make small paddocks for feeding time? You put them in and feed, explain (nicely and without blaming it on Joe) to your parents that the new horse won't get enough food if they're not separated for eating because he's such a timid guy, and ask them if they'll just open the gates in an hour (or however long it takes them to finish whatever food they need to be separated for).


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## Sheepdog (Sep 25, 2011)

Corazon, unfortunately like the majority of people have said, there's not a lot you can do. One Question, Rusty, is he yours, what I mean by that is did you buy him or is your parents -?father - the legal owner? If your parents are the legal owners of Rusty you have a slightly bigger problem. If he is yours legally then you have every right on this earth to tell Joe to leave your horse the heck alone! If this horse is legally the property of your parents, you are going to find some eway to convince them that letting Joe or anybody not approved by yourself ride your horse is counterproductive to all the training and time you are putting into your horse. Maybe if they are paying, or helping you pay hearing that letting Joe ride rusty is detrimental to his training and thus indirectly wasting their money. If you are paying for your own lessons, talk to them like an adult, tell them please, you work hard to afford those lessons to better yourself and your horse and letting Joe ride him is undoing a lot of hard work and wasting your hard-earned money. 
As for the other horses, i feel your pain, but without your parents' support there's not really anything you can do about that situation. You can try talking to your dad like an adult and tell him that not being able to feed Knight apart is wasting precious money spent on grain. Most of all, keep your cool and get your facts in a very logical order. Approach your parents as the adult you now almost are and try and find some solutions, even if you have to compromise a little, especially on the "other horses" scenario. Your parents are NOT going to listen to what you have to say if you come across even in the slightest like a spoilt brat (no offence meant, please). Lastly find a way to lock up your tack, a box, a cupboard, anything.


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

Corazon Lock said:


> I would LOVE to. But the thing is, this is technically my parent's property. And my parents are letting him keep his horses here, not me. If it were my decision, I would have had his horses to the curb a long time ago. But they won't do anything about it! I tried confronting my dad about either kicking the horses out or having him pay board and he's like, "Joe's my friend...I haven't kicked your friends out of my house, so KNOCK IT OFF."
> 
> UGH. My parents are way too nice.


You really don't have a say as it is not your property. I am not sure of your age but if it were me I would get some independence and move my horse even if I had to pay board some where else.


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## kait18 (Oct 11, 2011)

why don't you talk with your parents about the cost of fencing. all you need is some t-posts, electric white horse fence, and an electric box, a sledge hammer, a flathead screwdriver , and whatever is needed for the electric box.

i would see if your parents could talk with joe about splitting the cost of adding more fencing seeing as i think its 2 horses of his there, and then you split the cost with your parents on whats left.

all you need is two ppl and a good attitude and you could have a good size field made in a half day if your determined to get it done with no experience putting fencing up...

tips if you get the t-post- get the 10ft height posts and strand it with 4 rows, electrify the wire that is the average height of all horses heads. keep posts 6-10ft apart no more no less..its inefficent!! one person hold post the other hammer the post into ground. make sure you plan where you want the gate so you can figure out how to set the wire up to start... if you are going to use a real gate get a piece of wood that is suitable to hold a normal gate..not sure of size as my dad bought the fencing stuff then left it to me to put up myself  learning experience my dad said lol

its really not that hard and you with the help of your mom, dad, friend, cousin, who ever to get it done that would solve the issue with fencing and some hay problems for the time being.

as for your tack being used put it in your room , as for your horse being used..idk i would have flipped a s*** a long time ago about that one when it first started.


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## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

For those of you who gave creative, good advice - thanks. I needed to vent a little on it and I was looking for some creative solutions to my situation.

For those of you who weren't so tactful or kind - I'll try not to take it personally. I don't know why it was necessary to rip me to shreds and find out the smallest details of my life, but okay. I hope you find a Joe in your lives and then maybe you'll have a little empathy.


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## KarrotKreek (Mar 31, 2012)

Recommendations...
1) educate your parents so that they understand why the other horses are detrimental. Explain that there isn't enough grass to support that many, and once it turns to dirt how difficult it will be to reestablish pasture after it becomes a dry lot. 
Also, how that many horses in a small space have more behavior issues and chances of injury. There is also the feeding pecking order and health of your horse to bring in.
2) offer up several solutions. From asking Joe to remove his horses to suggestions on how to expand the pasture. If its expansion, work it out so that Joe's horses move to the new field and suggest he pick up some costs for the addition. You can also approach him to help build it-after all it's to benefit his horses.
3) the old tack- offer to sell it to fund the addition, or trade it back to Joe for services rendered, AFTER he helps build the fence.
4) if all else fails buy more round pen panels and create a new pen on your own.


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## Sweeney Road (Feb 12, 2012)

Corazon Lock said:


> I don't know why it was necessary to rip me to shreds and find out the smallest details of my life, but okay.


Advice can change depending on your age. As a minor, you essentially have no rights. As someone who has reached the age of majority, you have rights, but only if you are the legal owner of the property.

Unfortunately, your parents are the property owners. And, apparently, your parents (unless they signed over Rusty to you upon your 18th birthday) are also the legal owners of your horse, and therefore, can do what they want with him.

These may seem like small details to you, but these details are how we can try to help you determine the best course of action for your situation.


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## Almond Joy (Dec 4, 2011)

I would fence in the other area with your dad or whatever,and then move Knight and Rusty there, that way they can bond and you can love on them in "Their pasture." If there's a way for half of the run in to be in the new pasture, and half with the others, you could split it, and then you don't ever have to worry about Joe's horses...


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## alexischristina (Jun 30, 2009)

I'm sorry if I missed it OP, but do you pay for hay or do your parents? If you pay for hay, I would decide how much your horse eats and say you will only pay for x amount, your parents will have to buy Joe's hay. If your parents buy hay then there really is nothing you can do about it, and as frustrating as it is to see your parents get taken advantage of you just have to let it go. If they realize money is tight and they need to cut down expenses, then suggest they stop paying for Joe's horses. Until then, it isn't your money, so try to forget about it.


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