# I am nervous about asking my parents about riding lessons.



## Blackhole6670 (May 6, 2015)

Hi, I really want to do horse riding lessons, but I am nervous about asking my parents about it. What should I say so that I could do riding lessons? I am planning to ride at a riding school where I would do private lessons, where the lessons cost $80. I don't have horse riding clothes yet, but I would talk to my parents about it. What should I ask them about getting horse riding clothes? What should I ask my parents about horse riding lessons? If you could answer my questions I would be thankful.


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## Chicalia (Nov 5, 2013)

One part of your post jumped out at me right away: "I am planning to ride at a riding school where I would do private lessons, where the lessons cost $80."

If you wouldn't be the one to pay for the lessons, $80 (US?) per time is a lot of money for one lesson session, at least where I'm from. You might have more success finding a place to ride that is more affordable, or start with cheaper group lessons, unless $80 per week is easy for your parents to pay.

Also, consider what you might do around the house (without being asked or reminded!) to help pay for a lesson. Are their chores you could do for your parents that you could do to earn money toward lessons?

Most adults are very budget-conscious because they have bills to pay and children to feed and keep a house for.  That's just the way it is. The cheaper something is to do, the easier it usually is for parents to say yes.


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

Ai! $80/lesson seems very high. Four lessons, a typical month of weekly lessons, is $320. That may be the gasoline budget for both parents cars for commuting to and from work. 

Keep looking.

As far as clothes... Decent jeans and low heeled boots would suffice. If you can, half chaps may make you "feel" like you are really outfitted. Add a helmet, and you are set.

I really, really understand the gnawing desire to ride, too. Hopefully you find something workable for you and your parents.


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## Roman (Jun 13, 2014)

I agree $80 is a lot! My parents would definitely had said no. Keep looking for more. I kept looking and found a good barn that cost $30 for private lessons. 

What discipline do you wish to ride? Western or English?

If Western, a good pair of jeans, t-shirt, boots with a heel, and a helmet will do.

For English, jeans could work for your first lessons. Your instructor may recommend jodhpurs for you, plus maybe what kind of boots to where as well. And of course, a good helmet!!


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## TXhorseman (May 29, 2014)

In order to get the best results when approaching your parents, you should consider this from your parents’ point of view. Even if your parents can afford the expense, they may want to know that the expense will provide positive results.

Consider what might influence their decision. Explain how learning to ride a horse can help develop you confidence, posture, and leadership abilities. Parents of numerous riding students have told me they much prefer paying for this activity than having their children involved in other, less desirable, activities.

Display your commitment by showing how you have done your research. Get some books on riding and handling horses from the library and read them. Check with the offerings at various stables including less expensive group lessons as well as private lessons. Offer to do extra tasks around the house and similar things to prove your commitment.

While you will need a helmet, don’t include the added expense of any unnecessary specialty clothing. Clothing doesn’t make the rider. If your parents want to, they can offer to buy such things.


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

$80 per lesson is SUPER high! You might want to shop around and see if you can find better lesson rates someplace else. I went to a top-level reining barn several years ago that only charged $50 per 1-hour lesson. There's always more where that came from. 

Are you interested in showing, or do you just want to learn the basics? Do you have a specific discipline in mind? Do you want to ride English or Western? 

Walking and talking is the best way to find things in the horse world, and most parents are budget-conscious these days. Try calling around to tack shops and seeing if you can find someone, or see if there are any saddle clubs or horse show associations in your area. Many people are more than willing to help new riders find resources in their area, but you have to be conscientious and follow up. 

As far as riding clothes go, you don't need much to start out. Just low-heeled boots (look in Tractor Supply and farm stores, many times they have sales) and jeans like Wranglers, since those are actually made to ride in.


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## LilyandPistol (Dec 2, 2014)

Blackhole6670 said:


> Hi, I really want to do horse riding lessons, but I am nervous about asking my parents about it. What should I say so that I could do riding lessons? I am planning to ride at a riding school where I would do private lessons, where the lessons cost $80. I don't have horse riding clothes yet, but I would talk to my parents about it. What should I ask them about getting horse riding clothes? What should I ask my parents about horse riding lessons? If you could answer my questions I would be thankful.


As others have said, $80 is very pricy for lessons. When I took lessons I paid 25 dollars for an hour lesson. It will help if you can find a different place (perhaps one like where I went, where there were 4H girls boarding that were more than happy to give a $25 lesson, of which consisted of $20 for the barn owner and $5 for the 4Her).
As far as clothes, jeans, boots, and a helmet will suffice. Oh, and sometimes the riding place has helmets for you to borrow if you don't have one. And it doesn't have to be a riding helmet. It can just be a bicycle helmet. I used a bike helmet for the first year of my riding, before a fellow church member gave me one for Christmas.


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## blue eyed pony (Jun 20, 2011)

$80/lesson is enormous. My coach spends that and she's a professional rider so she needs a really brilliant coach!

One of the girls at our barn gets lessons on Mum's Thoroughbred mare for free - while this is an unusual situation it's not unheard of. She owns her own horse but her horse isn't suitable for her at the moment so Belle is my mount for now. If you're willing to work hard you can even work to pay for your lessons.

Horse gear isn't horribly expensive second hand. I've seen boots for $30 and jodhpurs for $5 and when you're just starting out you don't need brand new gear, EXCEPT YOUR HELMET. ALWAYS buy a brand new helmet because that way you KNOW it hasn't been dropped and nobody has taken a tumble in it. If you drop a helmet or fall off and hit your head with it on you need a new helmet and a lot of people will try to offload their old helmets for money, especially if they don't look damaged. But they ARE, that's the point of a helmet - the helmet breaks to absorb some of the impact so that your head doesn't. Some second hand helmets aren't damaged in any way and are being moved on for genuine reasons, but you can't know for sure if you don't know the person who's moving it on.

The cheapest lessons I ever got were $10/half hour, but I have some very bad habits because of those cheap lessons, so don't go looking for bargain basement prices - go looking for a good trainer, and ask if you can work off some or even all of the price of your lessons. If they say yes, it's hard work - cleaning stables, usually - but it prepares you for horse ownership down the track so it's very worth it. The best lessons I ever got were lessons I worked 14 to 17 hour days to earn (plus all my food and my room and power bill and access to the wifi) when I was a working pupil for an Olympic rider. Not that I got lessons from him, he was too busy with his own horses and the girls he'd been employing for years. I got lessons from HIS coach!


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## kewpalace (Jul 17, 2013)

The others have some great advice and comments, so I would reiterate what they have said.

However, you might also look for a backup plan in case the answer is no. First, if they do say no, ask if you could do it in the future and what you can do to accomplish being able to take lessons in the future. Then ask if they would get you a book or video on riding. While not ideal, hopefully it will tide you over until you do get lessons. 

Good luck to you! And know that even if they say no now, that does not mean forever and just keep respectfully ask in the future.


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

Blue Eyed Pony is 110% right about a helmet. It doesn’t need to be expensive or pretty, but it does need to protect your head. Troxel makes affordable schooling helmets for under $30, and that’s what a lot of beginners get (I have one and even though it’s a bit cumbersome, it does the job). As you go on and get more serious about riding you can get helmets that look nicer, like the Tipperary line. 

I am going to totally disagree with the bike helmet assertion. Bike helmets and horseback riding helmets are made for different purposes and to withstand different levels of force, and it’s a difference that literally could mean the difference between a minor accident and a serious or life-threatening injury.


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

Come into the conversation with a variety of solutions. Some good steps would be: 

- Look online and in your local phone book for riding schools (many horse places still don't have websites). Give them all a call.

Ask about their price of a private lesson, a group lesson, if there is a discount for multiple lessons, and if they can provide boots and a helmet. Take note of where they are located too, so you can tell your parents how far they are. 

-Then work out solutions in case they're not interested. Perhaps there is something you are a doing now, a class or some sort of subscription or hobby you can trade for riding lessons. 

-Also consider riding every second week instead of every week. 

- On top of that consider maybe horse riding camps, if you normally have holiday activities, or even trail riding places that instead of a lesson you can do an occasional ride

Many riding schools supply helmets, some supply boots, so I wouldn't be jumping straight into buying equipment.


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## Chasin Ponies (Dec 25, 2013)

Ouch! $80 an hour is outrageous and don't even bring that one up with your parents unless you want an automatic no. Call around and do your research, you should definitely be able to come up with a more reasonable price.

For a beginner your only requirement for riding should be decent boots with a heel and a helmet. Some places will gladly loan you a helmet so your parents could put off that expense for a while.

Look around the house and make a list of chores you will _happily _do every single week in exchange for the privilege of lessons. Present your proposal in a serious, mature manner and you may just get the answer yes. If you do get that answer yes-put that list of chores on your bedroom door and faithfully complete them every week.

Just don't blow the whole idea by insisting on horribly expensive lessons and fancy riding clothes!


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## BreezylBeezyl (Mar 25, 2014)

Let me tell you from an adult's point of view, $80/lesson is not going to fly. Imagine if you take 1 lesson a week for a month - that's $320 a MONTH! Not even I, a working adult, can afford an instructor of that financial caliber.

As others have said, make a plan. I can almost guarantee that this is not the only riding stable in your area. Make a spreadsheet/list of all of the barns that offer beginner lessons in your area. Add in their prices and locations. Keep in mind that the longer the driving distance, the more money your parents need to spend on gas. Not to mention time. Try to find something within 30 minutes of your location.

Show them that you have done your research. Price out some riding clothes at local stores; most of them have online shops so you can check their prices from home. Many riding stores also have "packages" where new riders can get breeches, a shirt, boots, and gloves etc for a package price. If you are allowed on Facebook, you can also check out tack buy/sell groups. Also look into second hand tack shops.

Offer to do some chores to help with the cost of both the riding equipment and lessons. If you are already doing chores, perhaps offer to do one additional chore. 

Depending on how old you are, you might be able to get yourself a part time job and offer to pay the cost of your lessons.

FYI, a more reasonable cost for lessons should be between $25-$45. Also note that private lessons are going to be more expensive, and beginners should start in a group. Group lessons usually knock down the cost substantially.


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## BreezylBeezyl (Mar 25, 2014)

Forgot to mention: do you already participate in other extra curricular activities that have a cost? Do you play other sports that cost your parents money? If so, perhaps offer to give up one of these activities in favor of riding if you are dedicated. Maybe say that you would like to try a couple lessons and make a decision, just to be sure.


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## crazeepony (Dec 8, 2013)

I think you should write them a letter- they will be impressed that you took the extra effort and provide good reason why you think you deserve lessons.  Negotiations go far- like improving grades etc. I agree about the price. I live in a very expensive horse area and they aren't that much for private!!! Ask first then include your parents in the hunt for a trainer rather than saying- "this is it." I wish my kids were eager about riding.  PS- my kids only wear jeans or stretch pants with a heeled boot and a helmet. You don't need anything special.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

LilyandPistol said:


> As others have said, $80 is very pricy for lessons. When I took lessons I paid 25 dollars for an hour lesson. It will help if you can find a different place (perhaps one like where I went, where there were 4H girls boarding that were more than happy to give a $25 lesson, of which consisted of $20 for the barn owner and $5 for the 4Her).
> As far as clothes, jeans, boots, and a helmet will suffice. Oh, and sometimes the riding place has helmets for you to borrow if you don't have one. And it doesn't have to be a riding helmet. It can just be a bicycle helmet. I used a bike helmet for the first year of my riding, before a fellow church member gave me one for Christmas.


A bike helmet is not appropriate for riding! As someone else mentioned they are designed for two different activities, made to different standards, and are designed to withstand different sorts of impacts. I suppose if a person wants to use a bike helmet for horse riding that's their business, but it's not something I'd ever recommend especially to a new rider. With some stuff (pants, etc) it's fine to not buy stuff designated specifically for riding, but safety equipment such as helmets should be bought new and designed for the sport!

As others have mentioned, $80/lesson is extremely high for most areas. If you live in a high cost horsey area or the lessons are from a really top of the line trainer then they're probably quite overpriced. Around here lesson prices vary tremendously- the dressage trainer that used to live around here charged $60/lesson and people gladly paid it. My trainer charges $30/lesson and IMO his lessons are of higher quality and worth more. I would shop around in your area to see if you can find more affordable lessons as a beginner. Of course, you should not find the most low-cost trainer possible. Make sure they are competent and good instructors or you won't have a good foundation to build on. Unfortunately, as a new rider it can be hard to evaluate a trainer! Group lessons (make sure riders of a similar experience level to you, or close to it) can be very fun and often times more affordable. 

The best way to do it is to simply ask them in a respectful manner. If they say that they cannot afford to spend the money on lessons then ask if there is any way that you can make money to help out. If they are not willing to do it then simply thank them for considering the request and move on. If you can make money on your own they may be willing to do it, or you could consider asking for riding lesson packages from family members for Christmas/birthday. It can be nerve wracking to ask your parents about stuff like that, but the best way IMO is to be straightforward, offer to help pay for them or do extra chores around the house, and be respectful of the decision they make. 

As for riding clothes, that depends a lot on the individual trainer. Always ask what you need before you go in for your first lesson, but IMO the minimum basics for starting lessons are long pants, proper riding boots, and a helmet. Most lesson barns are fine with you riding in jeans, but a very occasional few expect you to wear proper riding breeches so that jeans do not wear their saddles. Simply ask beforehand to be sure. What types of boots you wear would depend on your discipline (most western riders prefer western/cowboy boots, and most English riders prefer paddock boots to start out). I would highly recommend buying a pair of proper boots designed for riding. Many lesson barns will have helmets that you can borrow for initial lessons but, again, ask to be sure. Any properly fitting shirt (not super big on you, but not too tight and restricting) should be fine. All horse tack and grooming supplies should be provided by the barn. 

So, in short, plan on buying a pair of riding boots and inquire about wearing jeans and if they provide helmets. If you're not sure that you'll stick with riding in the long term I'd buy a cheap or used pair of paddock boots/cowboy boots and upgrading later if you do continue riding. I would recommend buying your own helmet sooner rather than later, but you could give it a few trial lessons first. Buying your own helmet means that you don't need to share head cooties and sweat with other people, and that you know the helmet hasn't had any falls. Not everyone chooses to ride with a helmet, but I would highly recommend it and many stables require it for minors and those taking lessons. Later on down the line you will want to buy a pair of half chaps if you're riding English. The cheapest pair of paddock boots on Dover saddlery website are $40, and the cheapest helmet is under $30. You could VERY easily be outfitted with those basics for less than the quoted price for one lesson. Buying used can help keep costs down and quality up, but I'd always recommend buying a helmet new. 

Good luck with talking to your parents!


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## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

Blackhole6670 said:


> Hi, I really want to do horse riding lessons, but I am nervous about asking my parents about it. What should I say so that I could do riding lessons? I am planning to ride at a riding school where I would do private lessons, where the lessons cost $80. I don't have horse riding clothes yet, but I would talk to my parents about it. What should I ask them about getting horse riding clothes? What should I ask my parents about horse riding lessons? If you could answer my questions I would be thankful.


You've gotten great advice so far (well, some anyway) but the other thing I want to bring up is to be prepared for your parents to say "no". :wink: Riding horses is a luxury item and even if your parents can afford $80 lessons, they may simply not want to. And that's okay. Just remember you have your _entire life_ to enjoy horses. 

But good luck regardless!

Probably the biggest thing that can impact your parent's view of you is to make sure you do things without them having to ask. Wash the dishes. Do the laundry. Vacuum. Clean the windows. Help to make dinner. Etc. Etc. Make sure you don't point it out either. What I mean by that is, don't say "Look mom, did you see I vaccumed?" (Seriously, my husband does that and it's like he wants a pat on the back for things he should help with anyway!!) Your deeds won't go unnoticed and your parents will see the extra effort. 

Make sure to also put a good effort forth in your school work. Parents see your effort and that puts things in a positive light. 




LilyandPistol said:


> *It can just be a bicycle helmet. *I used a bike helmet for the first year of my riding, before a fellow church member gave me one for Christmas.


No, it can't. 

Bicycle helmets and riding helmets are not the same. They are tested to withstand different impacts and different injuries. A bicycle helmet is not sufficient for riding.


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## LifeInTheIrons (Mar 28, 2015)

I agree, NEVER use a bicycle helmet. A lot of little kids who are starting riding lessons walk into our barn wearing bike helmets because their parents think that is fine, but it isn't, and my instructor always asks them to use a helmet designated for riding. 

A $30 Troxel helmet works perfectly fine for beginners, or anyone really. Make sure you buy it new, never buy a used helmet, because it could be damaged and won't protect you in a fall.


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## Textan49 (Feb 13, 2015)

WillowNightwind said:


> Forgot to mention: do you already participate in other extra curricular activities that have a cost? Do you play other sports that cost your parents money? If so, perhaps offer to give up one of these activities in favor of riding if you are dedicated. Maybe say that you would like to try a couple lessons and make a decision, just to be sure.


 This is a good point. Not knowing you, your parents, or their financial situation, it is hard to say what will convince them. If you have lost interest in things in the past they may not want to invest the time and money into riding lessons. They may feel you have enough interests outside of school already, or they may simply feel that they cannot afford it. I would look into the least expensive way to start. If it means one half hour group lesson per week for $30.00, that might sound much better to your parents. If money is an issue be willing to give something else up and also to take on more responsibility with helping out at home.

I would get all the information on cost, location, etc, present it to your parents and simply ask them how they feel about it. You should be able to communicate with your parents and should not be afraid to Being able to take lessons is a privilege that your parents may or may not feel is appropriate right now. Hopefully they will say yes, they may say yes with some conditions on your part, or they may have reasons why they have to say no.


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