# My riding instructor is getting on my nerves..



## Brithorse1996 (May 25, 2010)

She sounds like a right B****.

It clearly isn't you if other riders and their horse are getting her vibe, and to be honest isn't the point of an instructor that their meant to encourage you, not scream at you while your crying.

Now normally if I had a teacher like this at school, me and my friends woulf have pitchforks and rotten eggs out, but considering this is different you have options.

-All of you tell the barn owner
-All of you tell her face to face how uncomfortable you are
-Can't you bring in another instructor
-Keep going with her 

Normally I would say give her a chance, as it seems you and your horse weren't having a good day, but if's happening multiple times and your horse is sensing it you've got to do something now.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Do you pay for your lessons or is it a "work off" agreement? Just curious, bc if I was paying, I would personally not tolerate her nastiness. If you are not gaining from the lessons, you have a couple of choices, as I see it. You can talk to the BO and explain it to her, and ask when she will be available for lessons so that you can ride with her. You can find another instructor, and either go there for lessons or have them come to you, if the barn allows it. (perhaps some of the other unhappy campers would take from them also, making it more worthwhile for the trainer.)

We all have bad days, both on and off horses, but to have this happen every lesson is unacceptable, IMO. Life is too short. I am a bit older, and when I used to ride H/J, I would actually laugh when my instructor told me to do something I was physically unable to do. I would try, don't get me wrong, but I never took it too seriously. I ride for fun, and to achieve my personal goals, which were never to be perfect. I know better.


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## Mickey4793 (Sep 24, 2009)

It could be considered that I pay for it, it could also be considered that I don't. Me and my mom both take private lessons at this barn on our horse, and one free private lesson a week comes with the board. So we don't know which one we pay for or get for free but it's the same either way.

It's a really strict barn, I don't think there's a chance in heck that I'd be allowed to bring in another instructor, I've been kind of teaching myself on my own though. We would talk to the barn owner, but that barn owner and my instructor are closely related and I don't think that would fly well. There is one other instructor at the barn, but she ONLY teaches on fridays, I'm going to see if I can squeeze in a lesson with her though, she's a nice woman but limiting by the fact that she only does fridays.


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## equestrian (Oct 12, 2010)

Yikes. I would not continue to take lessons from such a nasty person. Riding is supposed to be fun. Lessons are supposed to challenge you and your horse and make you a better rider, not a miserable one.

I would talk to the barn owner and see if you can get the other girls to talk to her as well. I'd then be looking for a new instructor to travel to you.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

So your mom takes lessons from this witch too? If the only option is the "friday instructor", then I would alternate-one week mom, the next it is your turn. 
Lessons included in board are in no way "free", IMO. I will bet your board is a bit more than other places around.
Perhaps mom would talk to the BO? I will tell you that if an instructor treated my daughter like this consistently I would have been on her LONG ago. Again, I can understand an occassional episode of bad behavior, and my daughter was no angel, at least between about 12 and 18! lol It should actually be in your favor that mom is actively involved, I would think. Better than the moms that just drop their kids at the barn and go shopping or to get their nails done(like mine was)......No offense to anyone, I just like being involved I guess.:wink:


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## Mickey4793 (Sep 24, 2009)

Crazy thing is though, my mom never see's it! My mom is either not there for my lesson or she's not as bad with my mom around.


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## twh (Feb 1, 2010)

Seems to me that riding under an instructor who is discouraging you is worse than not taking any lessons at all.

I had an instructor who started literally screaming at me for no reason, yelling at that I had "attitude", and got me so screwed up that I couldn't even get the horse to trot. She started claiming that I was "rolling my eyes" at her (like she could see what I was doing halfway across the ring and me wearing a helmet!), and acting as though I was purposely messing up the ride.

I let her have it and changed instructor. She'd made it crystal clear that this was going to her routine behavior with me.

Maybe you can trailer your horse to a different facility with another instructor? Maybe everyone who can't stand her could go as a group and talk to the BO about it. Whichever way, I'd stay miles from this woman. As I said before, riding under her sounds worse than not taking lessons at all.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Then I guess mom need to hang around for your lessons if they are going to be with this chic.


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## VelvetsAB (Aug 11, 2010)

_You are paying for a service, one that you arent getting because you are having such horrible lessons with this "lady". You and your Mom should approach the BO about it, even if they are related. There is no excuse to treat your CUSTOMERS like that. If she is better with your Mom around, then maybe it is time to have her start being at your lessons all the time as well. Maybe even out of sight, but within hearing range if possible. _

_If she does this with all of her students, I am surprised no one has complained. Might also be time to get everyone together and talk to the BO as a collective group. _

_I agree with FNB's, that your board is probably more because the lesson is included in it._


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## Mickey4793 (Sep 24, 2009)

My board is quite expensive compared to other barns around here [although the quality of this barn despite the instructor makes the price worth it], so you guys are right my lessons probably aren't free.

There is a group of girls who ride together in a lesson before me, and they've decided next week if she is just as nasty to them that they're just gonna park their horses and dismount. I don't know if I would do that myself, as they don't board horses their [ride schoolies, one of them leases] and I wouldn't want to jeopardize my boarding contract by doing something like that.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

I am with you, not sure that is the best way to handle it. If they do that, they are sort of hurting themselves, as they end up with a totally wasted lesson time/ride time. (altho, with this witch it is a waste anyway, I guess).

All getting together and having a meeting with the BO would be the best, I would think. 

Your barn may have nicer "bricks and mortar" so to speak, but with this lady there it may not be worth it. Perhaps some of you could move together if the BO sides with the relative. If it is not fun, it makes no difference how "pretty" it is. Sort of like buying a horse for the looks, IMO.


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## Mickey4793 (Sep 24, 2009)

Well it's not only pretty, but it has 4 different riding rings, so you're never crowded, one is indoor so you can ride no matter what the weather is, lots of space, tons of paddocks and pastures, miles of trails, two big tack rooms, a lounge, 3 separate barns for horses.

I can't think of better, it's great I just dread my stinkin' weekly lesson. 

Thanks for the advice all, I'm gonna try to make my mom come along [she usually says she can't because of house work] and see how that goes. If that doesn't work I'll talk to everyone who is in the same boat as me about talking to the BO, and if still nothing, I'm gonna squeeze into a Friday space with the other woman, even if it's inconvenient to my own time.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

*You're always training*

Just like riding your horse, you, yourself are always in training. Every ride is a training ride, and if what you get out of this instructor is fear, anxiety frustration and a loss of self confidence, then that is what is literally being trained INTO you and your horse each time. 
Sound like a worse than zero situation.
She is probably nicer to your mom because they are closer in age, no?

I would talk to the BO or cut the lessons out entirely.


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## Mickey4793 (Sep 24, 2009)

My mom is older than her, this woman is fairly young. I'm gonna try and switch my lesson day to Friday A.S.A.P and avoid her until then.


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