# stories i wrote ...... please beware that the sadness in some of them are high



## HopalongCassidy (Dec 19, 2010)

That would kill me, nice story. Quick question. your signature.... did you know Jessica?


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## Whisper22 (Jan 2, 2011)

Good story but if I can make a simple suggestion, work on complete sentences. There are a lot of commas. I saw very few periods if any. Also, try breaking up into paragraphs, especially where there is dialog so it doesn't all run together. Other than that, keep up the good work. Writing is a great hobby to have.


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## fuadteagan (Jun 10, 2010)

i wrote this when i was 8 so ..... yeah lol i did not know about periods yet


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## PintoTess (Aug 18, 2010)

Nice, are you going to keep continuing?


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## BraveBarrelRacer (Apr 22, 2011)

Honestly, why do you guys judge her grammar and spelling? I think she wants you to judge her STORY more than anything. 

Its a good story. I can't think of anything right now but if I do later, I'll be sure to post again! I would like to see a continuation.


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## Sunny (Mar 26, 2010)

BraveBarrelRacer said:


> Honestly, why do you guys judge her grammar and spelling? I think she wants you to judge her STORY more than anything.


Because it is very difficult to read a long post that just runs together.

It is also good practice for later in life to write/type properly and effectively.

You do know this was from January/February?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

I like it! Please continue. Maybe you sneak out at night ride her off into the sunset with everything and live with your horse. And every night you go to your home and collect food
And guys, she wrote it at 8 years old


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## Sunny (Mar 26, 2010)

Maybe so, but she didn't post it on HF at 8 years old. It is possible to go back and add correct punctuation.

Children these days(general) really, really do not understand the importance of grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

Whisper gave a very polite suggestion to work on the grammar. Anyone who argues with that obviously has a skewed view of the world outside of computers.

And even though this is from the beginning of the year....
It is a cute story. I think you should continue as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## fuadteagan (Jun 10, 2010)

I might.


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## lildonkey8 (Dec 12, 2010)

It would be fun to hear!!!!!!!!!!


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