# Why We Can't All Be String Beans



## Skyseternalangel

So this has been bothering me for quite awhile. And if you're bothered by venting, leave my thread this instant.

One day at my old place of work, a few of the supervisors (myself included) were talking and for some reason it came to the subject of weight. We all scoped each other out and then compared wrist sizes. To my dismay, the three other people in charge had little petite wrists, whereas mine was thicker and more "manly." The look on their faces was equal to a cold hard slap with a cod.. they said something like "We're just build differently."

For awhile I used to really loathe that about myself. I don't have a very girlish figure. I have really really wide hips, an hourglass shape, but no chest, wide ankles, wide wrists, strange hands, and big feet. 

Everywhere we go and there is someone more lean than I (despite me eating healthy and working out) my dad makes a comment about them having a "wasp waist" and somehow makes me feel as though he sees me as being too big. But it's not me, it's my anatomy. 

Keep this under wraps, but I can feel my ribs very easily. I have no inch of fat on my body except for my caboose and thighs, the rest is pure muscle. I can't change the width of my hips or my waist size. Unless I want to turn into a skeleton, I can't ever become a 2. I'm a 5 or a 7 (it depends), which I'm fine with.

I guess I just wanted to let everyone know that you can't be a certain size or a certain shape. You can only be you, and as long as you're healthy (apologies to those on my FB as this was my status haha!) then it's all good! We shouldn't drive ourselves crazy over measurements or pounds.. but over-all health.

It's like with a horse with a stocky build (like me) versus a little teacup Arab. There is no way that they could ever be the same, perhaps they weigh 200lbs different than one another. Doesn't mean one is fat and one isn't.. that's just what works for their body type. 

It breaks my heart to see people so upset because they aren't a certain number. I used to be the same way.. anything more than 129 and I'd flip out. But I've stopped weighing myself and I'm only focusing on how I feel and what I eat. 

And hey, there's a certain charm to my slightly thick bone. If I was any weedier I wouldn't look nearly as good on my horse either, because he's a little thicker boned as well. 

You just gotta love and accept yourself, and work hard towards the goal of becoming, or maintaining, a healthy body (and spirit!)

That is my near 4am thought for you all.. and now I can look back at that time when we compared wrists and laugh about it. There should be no need to compare yourself to anyone, ever.


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## EvilHorseOfDoom

As someone who has just put in a huge amount of kitchen-related effort into regaining 10% of my bodyweight after illness... 

Being thinner than your healthy weight is awful. I lost all my strength. After one kg fell off, I couldn't pick up chaff bags in a fireman's lift, after three I could barely chase Brock round his paddock, and after 5 I was barely able to walk up the hill back home.

People are like horses, built in all different shapes. You wouldn't expect an Andalusian to look like an Arab, or a Shetland like a QH. Health is far more important than shape (magazines like to say different, and they make a lot of money out of it) and if you're the healthy weight for your body shape you give off a happy glow, rather than looking like I did - a half-dead zombie with falling out hair, pallid skin and big black rings under my eyes. Not to mention on the brink of selling Brock because I couldn't ride or care for him...

So here's to everyone being healthy and happy - cos you're all beautiful! Yes you men too, no need for protein shakes, endless gym sessions and (ugh) steroids. Just get on a horse ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DancingArabian

Well muscled obliques will be larger than the women who are "wasp waisted". Part of having the tiny tiny waist is little to no muscle there. Not true for eveyone of course but if you look at athletic women, their waistlines tend to be straighter. 

The thickness of your wrist, after a point, is more about gone structure than weight. 

In the older generation, a thick figure with a tiny waist was the "in" thing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## littrella

Honey, it just means you have curves. I'd much rather have my "full" figure than look like some of the flat chested, no hips "hot" girls


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## Celeste

If you have tiny thin bones now, you will have osteoporosis when you get old and your bones will be all brittle and break. Health is important. Looking like some emaciated model is not important.


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## Breella

I like being big, I'm harder to kidnap. 

On a serious note though I could stand to loose a few dozen or so lbs. Slow and steady as not to yo yo diet or starve myself.


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## jfisher256

I definitely agree with littrella! I was always so worried about weight. I was a weight freak and it started to worry my parents. I was skinny until I hit about 16 years old, because I had bad eating habits growing up (then again, I don't know anyone that _didn't_ have good eating habits growing up!), and unfortunately the eating caught up with me in weight and I hit 135 on the scale. To me at least, that was not good. For months I worked out and ate healthy every single day, exceptions to the occasional sweets I had here and there, and now my weight is always somewhere between 108-110lbs. I STILL get worried about my weight. I indulge on fats and sweets for one day and I'm worried that I'll put a pound or two on. Then I realize, I'd rather have a curvey figure than look like a tiny stick with nothing.


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## waresbear

We all can't look the same, as long as you're healthy and fit, you are as good as you can be. When you are fit & healthy, you are happy because you feel good & look good, the rest of it, big boobs, small ones, big feet, small butt, doesn't mean nothing, different shapes and all look beautiful.


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## Skyseternalangel

Exactly  So I just wanted to pass that along to everyone because it took me a darn long time to figure it out and truly be okay with it.


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## grayshell38

littrella said:


> Honey, it just means you have curves. I'd much rather have my "full" figure than look like some of the flat chested, no hips "hot" girls


 On the flip side, this statment can be hurtful as well. As one of those "flat chested, no hips" girls that just happens to be that way through no particular action of mine(genetics or what ever), I've got to say, this way of thinking is just as offensive as the reverse. 

Self appreciation through the depreciation of others is never okay, no matter what "side" you happen to fall on.

Off my soap box now...


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## goingnowhere1

I am so proud that someone else has this problem and has come to reason. My daughter,who is thick but not very heavy, weighs more and is thicker than her small petite friends. It used for early get her down, which got me down, that she couldn't be as skinny as them.


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## Skyseternalangel

Yep, bottom line is accept who you are and focus on being healthy in which ever way you can!


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## LoveStory10

I am considered to be a "string bean", but after feeling very bad about myself, and actually being called fat for years by peers, and even my own father and brother, I developed an eating disorder. Even though this is what I look like...









Everyone is perfect, no matter what we look like


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## SorrelHorse

There is a differance between being built thicker and being overweight. Just like in horses. Selena is built thicker than Ruger but she is not overweight. However there are horses who are overweight and appear to be thicker.

Admittedly, I am a tiny person at 5'2'' and skinny...But I will tell you guys a secret, I am actually underweight and I feel awful. I have been trying to put on some pounds because it is effecting my riding. I snuck off on my own to see my doctor and she simply said "There is nothing wrong with you, just stop working and remember to eat lunch once in awhile!" because I have been so stressed lately that I forget to eat...And I just don't get hungry until I have made myself sick, so I have to conciously make the decision to do so. I now have alarms set and meal bars in my saddle bags and backpack 24/7...Right now, I envy you guys who are healthy. My weight issue isn't drastic but it is enough for me to notice how fast I go into fatigue.

To be honest I don't know what the point of that story was, just kinda felt like I needed to tell SOMEONE about it since no one really knows. either way, no matter what, health is more important than a figure or a number. I know a girl who is a size 10 and thinks she is fat, but honestly she is evenly proportioned because she is tall. She looks beautiful, and she is healthy...It makes me sad that she thinks that about herself.

On that note my arch enemy at school is 5'5 and weighs 98 lbs. I do NOT want to be her. If I am 5'2', I weigh around there and am underweight...Jeesh. Next time someone wants to be that string bean, I'll be referring them to her
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Skyseternalangel

Well you are welcome on my thread, SorrelHorse 

I too have problems being a little underweight and with eating. But lately since I've been cooking, I am eating a little better than before.


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## EvilHorseOfDoom

SorrelHorse said:


> Admittedly, I am a tiny person at 5'2'' and skinny...But I will tell you guys a secret, I am actually underweight and I feel awful. I have been trying to put on some pounds because it is effecting my riding. I snuck off on my own to see my doctor and she simply said "There is nothing wrong with you, just stop working and remember to eat lunch once in awhile!" because I have been so stressed lately that I forget to eat...And I just don't get hungry until I have made myself sick, so I have to conciously make the decision to do so. I now have alarms set and meal bars in my saddle bags and backpack 24/7...Right now, I envy you guys who are healthy. My weight issue isn't drastic but it is enough for me to notice how fast I go into fatigue.


I soooo feel for you! Been there before! I'm 5'1 and was 92lb at the peak of my illness (natural weight 106lb), could barely get the energy up to go buy food. My friend was having to muck out my stable _and _hers, do feeds, and exercise and deal with all of Brock's antics as I couldn't get down to the stables. Mine was a stress-related illness, and my high stress levels also exacerbated my mental health issues and I ended up suffering sudden bouts of severe depression. Horrible time *shudders*

Have you tried rice bran?  In all seriousness, lots of little meals will help get your metabolism up. Try doing lots of complex carbs like wholemeal bread (decent fibre content too) or brown rice, I find they settle the stomach well. Fish is also good, full of good fat and protein. And yoghurt - especially probiotic. It sorts out any stomach upset from all the stress (I get ulcers) and the weight goes on really quickly. Best not to get the ones loaded with sugar, but if you don't like plain yoghurt, mix in some honey and it tastes lovely. And plenty of milk and lots of dark green veges. Grains like barley and oats will also help keep your energy levels up.

Stay positive, keep eating and stay healthy! I find it a relief to know what the root of the problem is and sometimes being sick can make you even more stressed, and it becomes a vicious cycle, so hopefully you're on track to recover very soon


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## littrella

I truly didn't mean to offend anyone. I've been to both sides & back. Almost 170 at my heaviest & 86 at my lowest. My issue is with these stick figure models & the general public thinking that is the standard that everyone should be held to. I've had 2 kids, my body will never be "perfect" & I personally love the way I fill out my butt hugging jeans & my favorite tank top


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## Celeste

When I was a teenager (I'm 54) people made fun of me because I was too skinny. My sister and I were actually teased by being called "the stringbean twins". Then just as I filled out, skinny became popular. Geez...

I think that it all goes back to Cinderella. We are told that we have to look a certain way or the men won't love us. The only happiness that Cinderella found was when she married the charming prince. I think that a better story would be that Cinderella took her cleaning skills and started a huge janitorial service. She invested the money wisely. She married the Prince Charming only after he signed a prenupt so that he couldn't get his hands on her money. Seriously, we should be judged on who we are as a person, not how we look.


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## AnalisaParalyzer

I'm with the string bean crowd, but my sister is thick built. She throws other girls in the air for a living. (cheerleader. She's the base, who throws the skinny girls in the air to do tricks.) She hits hard enough to leave hoof sized dents in my truck. She is by no means fat. She's just built like a solid wall. 
Meanwhile, they blood tested me cause I was wayyyyy under the growth chart average. I was under sixty lbs until I was 12. I'm currently 4'11, 21 yrs old, and 87 lbs. I've never broke a hundred. I have a restricted diet because of damaged kidneys, and I can't for the life of me gain a lb. I even have a cat named orange chicken for motivation. 

You are what you are, there's no changing it. You can only try to make the best you possible.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Skyseternalangel

Very very true.


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## Prinella

Sky great thread! 

I've never been a string bean but used to love how I looked, sure there was some extra there but it worked. perfect hourglass plenty of boobs and bum  

Then when I went back to uni after a year full time nh traineeship I put on about 15kg and basically felt like crap. None of my clothes fit I took to wanting to never show any stomache bulge so everything was oversized. 

I love being girly, pretty dresses and tops and I adore corsets. Slowly over the course of 6 months ive lost about 6.5kg it could have been faster but I can't stick to diets so just changed habits, bit by bit. 

I'm halfway to where I want to be and starting to feel good again. But really I should have been feeling better the whole time. **** society **** me!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Golden Horse

This is Bert, in fit condition










This is Willow in fit condition










Doesn't matter how much I diet I will always look more like Bert than Willow, I have a big frame, doesn't make me any better or worse than any other person, just makes me ME.


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## BarrelWannabe

Great comparison, GH. 

I am guilty of wanting to be a string bean. I always wanted to wear the tight jeans, itty bitty bikini, and fit in with all of the other girls.
I would always starve myself, and even tried being bulemic(?). I wanted to be skinny so bad. It drove me crazy and made me depressed.

I say these things in past tense because I've finally come to see that I am who I am. I'm never going to be a size 2, so why put myself through the pain? 
Granted I've been losing weight in the past few months, but it's because I want to be HEALTHY! I can finally see the definition of my collar bone, the muscles in my shoulders, or my abdominal muscles, and I think it's beautiful. I'm so much stronger than I used to be. I can do things that would have been physically impossible a year ago. 

I'm built like a freight train. I have large, wide, and stout shoulders. My thigh muscles are probably as big around as my 8 year old sister, and I've got enough hips for the entire Victoria Secret crew. 
I can throw down with the best of them, and send the boys running for the hills. I'm stronger than average, and I absolutely love it. 

I may not be the most feminine looking woman, but I still like who I am. I can honestly say that I love who I am. Granted I have my flaws, but that's all they are. I'm not going to let that stop me from enjoying life, and living it to the fullest. 


For all who struggle, you're one in 6 billion. We are all different. No two people are alike, so you shouldn't compare yourself to some size 0 super model. Who cares if you're a size 18 or an 8! You are who you are, and that is all that should ever matter.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Skyseternalangel

Prinella said:


> Sky great thread!
> 
> 
> I'm halfway to where I want to be and starting to feel good again. But really I should have been feeling better the whole time. **** society **** me!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thank you! And yes society really does make it very very hard to accept oneself. But you'll get there!

I dislike how Hollywood makes it seem like men are very shallow and go for one "type" ya know? Or that if someone doesn't think you're 'model material' then you take that as some sort of diss.. 

But hey, you're you and you rock! And I love GH's interpretation. My horse has skinner legs than I do. Am I embarrassed? Nope!


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## Celeste

Skyseternalangel said:


> I dislike how Hollywood makes it seem like men are very shallow and go for one "type" ya know? Or that if someone doesn't think you're 'model material' then you take that as some sort of diss..


Who cares if shallow men don't like us like we are? If a man is worth his salt, he should see you for the person that you are. Women should not fashion their whole lives worrying about pleasing men. The men are slaves to their hormones anyway. They'll love you either way.

The reason to be in shape is to be healthy.


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## Skyseternalangel

Celeste said:


> Who cares if shallow men don't like us like we are? If a man is worth his salt, he should see you for the person that you are. Women should not fashion their whole lives worrying about pleasing men. The men are slaves to their hormones anyway. They'll love you either way.
> 
> The reason to be in shape is to be healthy.


I know that now, I didn't before. I fully agree with you


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## vthorse

What a great thread! You are all so brave to let loose with your struggles and feelings. I hope everyone also has a support group of actual people around you. It really helps.


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## GhostwindAppaloosa

I have a very large frame too so you are not alone. Even when I had barely any body fat a size 10 was tight on me.. (meaning it was digging into my hip bones.) as long as you are healthy.. who gives a crap. I feel bad for those little string beans. they looks so breakable.. waht if they fell off their horse! we are a lot less likely to have broken bones


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## grayshell38

GhostwindAppaloosa said:


> I feel bad for those little string beans. we are a lot less likely to have broken bones


Keep your pity to yourself. I don't want it. And back up your claims with facts.


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## tempest

GhostwindAppaloosa said:


> I feel bad for those little string beans. they looks so breakable.. waht if they fell off their horse! we are a lot less likely to have broken bones


Just because we don't have a lot of body fat doesn't mean our bones are any less strong than someone who does have body fat. Last time I checked bone strength had nothing to do with body fat composition. I don't want your pity either.

Anyway, I agree with Prinella, this is a great thread Sky. More people need to think the same way you do in your OP.


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## Failbhe

I'm very tall (6') and so I always weighed more than other girls my age and wore bigger sizes. Of course NOW I understand that, but when I was in high school I was really unhealthy. I was anorexic for years and at my skinniest I could see my hip bones and ribs sticking out, and I STILL couldn't fit into a size 2. (Not to say that you CAN'T be 6' tall and wear a size 2... but it's a lot less likely than somebody who's 5'1"!) The other girls would all talk about how they wanted to be less than 100 lbs and so I thought I needed to be too. 

Now I'm a healthy weight for my height and I'm blessed with a husband who loves me no matter what the scale says. We're all supposed to be different, right? The world would be a boring place if we all looked exactly the same.


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## Celeste

A six foot tall, under 100 pound, size 2 girl is extremely unhealthy. I am glad that you figured that out.


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## Failbhe

Celeste said:


> A six foot tall, under 100 pound, size 2 girl is extremely unhealthy. I am glad that you figured that out.


Me too - though I wish it hadn't taken me so long! :wink:


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## Skyseternalangel

tempest said:


> Last time I checked bone strength had nothing to do with body fat composition. I don't want your pity either.
> 
> Anyway, I agree with Prinella, this is a great thread Sky. More people need to think the same way you do in your OP.


Very true, it's all about skeletal integrity from diet and genes. 

And thanks! I just love sharing epiphanies and for the longest time I felt inadequate but now I'm feeling REALLY good about myself. I just hope everyone can feel this good about themselves  



Failbhe said:


> Now I'm a healthy weight for my height and I'm blessed with a husband who loves me no matter what the scale says. We're all supposed to be different, right? The world would be a boring place if we all looked exactly the same.


I completely agree! And happy that you got there! 



Failbhe said:


> Me too - though I wish it hadn't taken me so long! :wink:


Better late than never! Look how happy you are now


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## Susan Crumrine

I am 41 and I have been at both ends of this argument.
When I was a professional ballroom dancer, I couldn't hold weight no matter what I did.
People were mean and would say "why don't you eat, you need to eat.." ect.

I said I wouldn't care if I was heavy I just wanted boobs. 
But now I am the other way, I wear a size 10, I weigh alot because like alot of girls here, I have huge muscles.
I weigh 162. I just hate my stomach. Its is GROSS> 
There is nothing anyone can say that will help me feel better about those fat rolls.
I have tried to diet, I tried to exersize more, but having RA and a severly broken leg with titianium rods and screws, means no aerobics.
I wish I was rich, I would have it sucked out!!

I still try to be happy, because, you never know about tomorrow so you shouldn't waste any life!


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## Endiku

Great post, Sky. 

I absolutely agree with you. For example, I'm a very tiny person. As in 4'11 type of tiny. Even so, I weigh a lot more than you'd think that I would. As of right now I think I'm 98 pounds. Thats only 8 pounds less than my 'little' sister weighs, and she's nearly 5'6. The difference is that, for one- I'm built a lot stockier than she is. My legs are short, my torso is short, my arms are short. So ofcourse, I'm porportioned differently and I carry my weight differently. The real difference though is that my sister doesn't exercise at all. She isn't fat, but she does nothing. No running, no sports, no nothing. Then you look at me. For all intents and purposes, I'm a ranch hand. I spend over 15 hours a week working horses, cleaning stalls, repairing fences and mechanical equipment, and carrying hay bales and 50 lb feed sacks. I also run my dog every day and do cardio every morning when I wake up. Because of that, every inch of my body is toned and carries significant amounts of muscle. Heck, I have bigger biceps than most of my guy friends. And because of all of that muscle and the way I'm built, I'm very 'stout' as my friends call it xD not fat what so ever.

Sky, I'm also a lot like you. I'm flat chested, wide-hipped, big-calved, and don't exactly have a small butt. But if I go under 94 pounds or so, I feel absolutely HORRIBLE. For two years I was extremely sick, and couldn't eat. I was never hungry and because of that I had no energy, I started failing my classes, I was always angry and depressed, and I looked terrible. Everyone was extremely worried about me. At one point I was down to about 78 pounds, which doesn't sound terrible, but I looked like a walking skeleton. Grey skin, thin hair, a gaunt face, and dull eyes. I never slept and all of my muscle was being eaten away in attempt to give my body the nutrience it wasn't getting. It got to where my boss wouldnt even allow me to work because I looked so sick. After having a surgery to correct my illness though, and learning to control stress, I started gaining weight almost immediately and started pulling up my grades, sleeping better, I had energy, and now...I feel amazing. Very much alive and strong.

A picture, for reference. This is when I was still recovering. IMO, everything about me looked unhealthy. I wasnt really thin, but still not looking well. I think I was 85 pounds.


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## Skyseternalangel

Well Susan, I think you're fabulous! When one stops trying to compare herself to others, one begins to look pretty **** fine. 

We're all different. If I tried to compare Sky to let's say.. Sour. It wouldn't be a fair game unless I took Sour and blew her up to Sky's size, or shrunk Sky down to sour.. the proportions wouldn't work. And if I took another 17hh horse, they wouldn't be comparable still because Sky is built stocky yet lean and the other horse would probably be built more like a tank. 

They are their own measurements, as are we. No comparing allowed. I love my speed bump chest. It's mine and hey I'm fine with it!

Endiku!! 78 pounds.. I think my *** alone weighs that much LOL :lol: That's very skinny in my eyes :/ I couldn't even be 110 without everyone being able to count my bones a mile away. 

Thanks, I'm glad my thread is a good'un. I love that I can somehow be helpful and maybe get people to think differently about things.

I'm glad you're much more healthy now  And you go girl for taking care of business! I need to find someplace to volunteer at. I miss the hard labor ;P


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## Celeste

Endiku, how beautiful!


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## Delfina

I'm 5'2" and 110lbs. I've NEVER broken a bone and I've fallen off a horse plenty of times. I am built very tiny, just the way I am, none of my 5 siblings are built large.

My husband however towers over me at 6'3" and he has a very thick, muscular build, his mother was 6'2" and very thickly built. Now our kids.... the lil one is just like me, tiny, nowhere near outgrowing her carseat and she's almost 9. Looks like a good breeze would blow her over. Older kid is just like the hubby.... she's 11 and wears my shoes and shirts. Nowhere close to being overweight, she's just built with a much bigger frame. 

Oh and both kids eat almost the exact same amount. I literally fix a single sandwich, hamburger, steak or whathaveyou and cut it in half, so each kid gets half. One just took after me and the other the hubby..... hilarious part is that their looks are the exact opposite. Lil midget is a blondy paleface tiny version of the hubby and the older one is an exact duplicate of me just a larger version.


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## DraftyAiresMum

I've accepted the fact that, at 5'7" with two pregnancies under my belt and being larger framed anyway, I will never be a size 2. I will probably never see a size 5 again (I was a size 5 right after I got pregnant with my son, which was my first pregnancy), just because of my hips spreading through child birth and such...and I'm perfectly okay with that. 

I have something of an hourglass figure and my chest and butt balance each other quite nicely. My boyfriend loves my curves. Yes, he'd be happy if I lost weight, but mainly because he knows that I would feel better (about myself and in general). I used to hate my curves, but then I realized that I earned them through bearing my beautiful son and suffering through a miscarriage that only made me stronger.

What I would like, however, is to lose about 30 pounds because I know I'll feel better physically and mentally/emotionally. If I lost 30lbs, I'd be about a size 10, which is perfect for me. Any smaller and I'd just look funny.

I used to hate my sister-in-law who has had five children and is a size 4. Then I realized how unhealthy she looks at that size (she's a half an inch shorter than I am) and decided that something around an 8 or 10 is perfect for me.


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## boots

OP - Every where you go there is someone leaner? Everywhere I go there is someone with more curves than me. I'm built like a 2 x 4! The only department in stores that has clothes that actually fit me, is the Boy's department, sizes 14-16. That's Boy's. lol On the upside jeans are cheaper.

Hangers compliment dresses better than my figure does. Last summer a man walking behind me growled, "Why don't you get a haircut." I knew immediately he thought I was some kid in jeans and a t-shirt. I whipped around and said "Because I'm a grandma and I'll wear my hair however I want!" He about died.

I was at a dance club with friends and the dee jay calls out, "Someone please dance with the girl with the skinny legs." Every one grins at me. 

So, yeah, I might be leaner than, oh, 80% of y'all, but it has it's downsides, too! Gotta keep a sense of humor about the variety of ways God made us.


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## Cinder

Great thread Sky!

I think it is extremely important to learn to love yourself. If you don't love yourself, dropping or gaining weight isn't going to help you. In my opinion, it's better to learn to like yourself at any size, and then drop or gain weight if you think it will make you healthier and help you feel better!

For the person who wears over-size clothes to hide the stomach roll, I feel your pain! I'm guilty of the same thing, and let me tell you it's annoying. I'm trying to work on getting more clothes that are actually my size and feeling confident in them! 

I'm working on getting a healthier life style. I can do things that would've been nearly impossible for me last year! And I'm happy with getting healthy even if I don't lose a bunch of weight.


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## Ripplewind

I'm a TEN. But that's because of my long legs, wide hips, and thunder thighs that I get from riding so much.


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## oh vair oh

Don't worry, you still get ridicule from having a quote-unquote "perfect" body.

I'm 5'6", 100lbs, 32DD, 23" waist, 32" hips. Everyone is as nasty to me for being a great shape as they would if I wasn't. :/


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## Skyseternalangel

boots said:


> OP - Every where you go there is someone leaner? Everywhere I go there is someone with more curves than me.
> 
> Hangers compliment dresses better than my figure does.
> 
> 
> So, yeah, I might be leaner than, oh, 80% of y'all, but it has it's downsides, too! Gotta keep a sense of humor about the variety of ways God made us.


Don't let it bother you! You are you and you are fabulous. Those other people are probably saying stuff cause they wish they were as skinny as lovely as you. Jealousy comes in strange forms.

I'm seriously okay with how I am. I don't want to change a thing (except my hair colour now and then haha!) God made me how I am and that's that!

The most important step is to stop the comparing. Hangars are fake, those plastic models are fake.. you're real. 

We're all different  Be proud!

I think we're all just wonderful! We can always improve our health but we are lovely as is!


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## DrumRunner

Breella said:


> I like being big, I'm harder to kidnap.


This literally made me laugh way too much..My best friend and I always discuss this, she's a curvy girl (I refuse to say big or fat, that is just personal opinion).. Anyway, I am TERRIFIED of being kidnapped, no joke..I had nightmares all the time when I was little and even into my teens, I'm still picked on about it and Katie and I both say that I'll be easier to kidnap because I'm tiny..She'll be the one to get help or beat the attacker up..


Coming from the view point of the tiny, under weight, small wristed person.. Seriously, as much as curvy women envy scrawny women, some of we tiny folk are just as envious as you. I can't gain weight, I'm a hard keeper, even though I eat and eat..I hate it, I then feel guilty because I eat so much around my curvy friends who are trying to diet and stuff..Weird right? AND y'all curvy women have BOOBS! Come on ,who doesn't love those? I'm quite proud of my Cs and I worked hard to grow them my whole life lol.. I didn't even get them until I was 18/19..Then I look at Katie and just sigh..Really? Do you have to look like that and make me look like a 12 year old boy? Lol 

Honestly though, pretty isn't scrawy like everyone today thinks it has to be..Healthy is beautiful, not looking like a skeleton..Which I am a little guilty of, BUT it is not by choice..and my butt doesn't fit my body from riding..I have to buy a bigger size bottom in bathsuits because of it.. 5'3" 97lbs isn't all it's cracked up to be..Curvy women have boobs..


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## Skyseternalangel

DrumRunner said:


> Curvy women have boobs..


Not this curvy woman :lol:


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## DrumRunner

Skyseternalangel said:


> Not this curvy woman :lol:


Laugh, we need to get together a "no boobs" group like the 40 and over thread and such..Discuss things like padded bras lol :lol: Kidding but I bet we would have pretty interesting conversations..


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## Skyseternalangel

**** great idea hahaha!

I always feel so out of the loop on those "Securing the girls" or "Sports bras" threads.. I don't have that problem! But I do want a VS spot bra.. hmm... 

Gotta say VS needs to appeal to the larger boobed women! Hard to find a quality bra in that size I'm sure!


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## EvilHorseOfDoom

Skyseternalangel said:


> **** great idea hahaha!
> 
> I always feel so out of the loop on those "Securing the girls" or "Sports bras" threads.. I don't have that problem! But I do want a VS spot bra.. hmm...
> 
> Gotta say VS needs to appeal to the larger boobed women! Hard to find a quality bra in that size I'm sure!


As a lingerie lover, it is a nightmare trying to find any corsets that fit - I'm 34D and size 6 AU so it's either painfully tight across the chest or gaping around my waist. So unattractive! Don't they realise women aren't made in molds? To top it off, I've had so much weight loss over the last year all my clothes look ghastly on me (especially jodhpurs - all saggy and baggy) and I can't afford to buy a new wardrobe. *shakes fist at the malicious weight goddess laughing down at her*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DancingArabian

Skyseternalangel said:


> **** great idea hahaha!
> 
> I always feel so out of the loop on those "Securing the girls" or "Sports bras" threads.. I don't have that problem! But I do want a VS spot bra.. hmm...
> 
> Gotta say VS needs to appeal to the larger boobed women! Hard to find a quality bra in that size I'm sure!


VS is the only store around me that carries sizes I can wear. I'm either a 32dd or 30ddd depending on the style. I've yet to find a corset - even at the ren fests!

I used to be big (210 lbs at 5'4") and now I'm not. I really hate the comments people make about how much I eat (a LOT), how hard I work out (hard), how small I am (kind of on the small side). I always wonder why people have this compelling urge to say something. Is it supposed to make the other person feel good to hear "eat a burger!" (especially after I've already had 4) or "is ALL THAT your lunch?" or anything a lot those lines. Should the recipient be apologizing? Laughing? You don't walk up to someone and go "honey maybe you really shouldn't eat that hmm?" or "good lord you're HUGE" why would it be okay the other way around? Save the big booty "compliments" for the stock breeds!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DrumRunner

Skyseternalangel said:


> **** great idea hahaha!
> 
> I always feel so out of the loop on those "Securing the girls" or "Sports bras" threads.. I don't have that problem! But I do want a VS spot bra.. hmm...
> 
> Gotta say VS needs to appeal to the larger boobed women! Hard to find a quality bra in that size I'm sure!


I know right? I do love VS though, It may be a little expensive but the bras really are worth it. For years I would only wear the Wave bra with a little push up action, then they discontinued the bra. I was SO upset. Now I only get the VS Body by Victoria demi..It's comfortable and last forever.. 

I agree, VS could benefit from making more products that fit top heavy women.


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## tempest

DancingArabian said:


> VS is the only store around me that carries sizes I can wear. I'm either a 32dd or 30ddd depending on the style. I've yet to find a corset - even at the ren fests!
> 
> I used to be big (210 lbs at 5'4") and now I'm not. I really hate the comments people make about how much I eat (a LOT), how hard I work out (hard), how small I am (kind of on the small side). I always wonder why people have this compelling urge to say something. Is it supposed to make the other person feel good to hear "eat a burger!" (especially after I've already had 4) or "is ALL THAT your lunch?" or anything a lot those lines. Should the recipient be apologizing? Laughing? You don't walk up to someone and go "honey maybe you really shouldn't eat that hmm?" or "good lord you're HUGE" why would it be okay the other way around? Save the big booty "compliments" for the stock breeds!


I know how you feel, I don't think people realize just how much those small little comments hurt. I've never been on the larger size and for years I struggled just to put on just one pound. I was never completely insecure about my weight, it bothered me a little that I couldn't seem to gain weight, but my parents and my doctor weren't concerned so I wasn't extremely worried about it. In August, I joined the NROTC program at college and I work out with the Marines, they rarely let up on the comments about my size. I'm 5'10", and weigh 150 lbs (now, before I weighed 140), but I'm lean. I'm not built into my body and my wrists are small (sadly there isn't anythign I can do about making them bigger, I've checked). People were almost always commenting on how thin I was, adn that I needed to put meat on my bones. And then in November (before I gained the ten pounds) someone said something and then didn't stop for all morning. They said, "Wow, you're so thin. Go eat some pizza." (I was working at a charity drive and they were serving pizza). And throughout the morning there were little comments about how I needed to eat more because otherwise I'd blow away. I played them off and laughed about them because I didn't want to seem like I was easily hurt, but those comments really struck deep. I didn't even know the person. I never felt so bad about myself in my entire life. I eat so much food, I'm always hungry, but I barely gain weight. And yes, I don't remember who it was who said this, a lot of skinny people are slightly jealous of those who fit into their bodies. I guess it's one of those things that you want what you can't have or have difficulty getting.

I think people say comments like that because they feel like they're being helpful, pointing out "flaws" that they think need to be fixed, when in fact, they don't realize that the person is doing everything in their power to fix the very thing that they feel is a flaw but is rather only a fact in life, something that can't be easily fixed.

As one verse from the song "I Keep Looking" by Martina McBride says, "Straight haired girls, they all want curls, and brunettes want to be blonde. It's a typical thing you got yin you want yang, it just goes on and on."

I feel better now that I gained those ten pounds, I don't feel quite so skinny, I honestly feel better, the funny thing about it is that I still look skinny, I just don't feel skinny anymore.


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## Skyseternalangel

tempest said:


> I think people say comments like that because they feel like they're being helpful, pointing out "flaws" that they think need to be fixed, when in fact, they don't realize that the person is doing everything in their power to fix the very thing that they feel is a flaw but is rather only a fact in life, something that can't be easily fixed.


Right? Everytime I go to Spain I am told I need to eat more. There they have 5 courses (at least in our village) a day, midnight being the biggest (more like a FEAST) and they just keep on trying to shove food on my plate. It's not fun...

Then like I said in my OP.. my dad making the "you're getting fat" comments. It's so mean.. and so unnecessary.

I'm glad you feel much better now though  What an awesome idea going and working out with the Marines!


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## EvilHorseOfDoom

Skyseternalangel said:


> Right? Everytime I go to Spain I am told I need to eat more. There they have 5 courses (at least in our village) a day, midnight being the biggest (more like a FEAST) and they just keep on trying to shove food on my plate. It's not fun...
> 
> Then like I said in my OP.. my dad making the "you're getting fat" comments. It's so mean.. and so unnecessary.
> 
> I'm glad you feel much better now though  What an awesome idea going and working out with the Marines!


I had an episode of weight gain a few years ago (nothing dramatic, went up a dress size) and Dad kept on remarking I was getting fat when I'd visit, and would question me when I asked for a second helping. And yet, a few years before, I'd been accused of being anorexic by family members because I didn't want a bowl of ice-cream (nothing to do with the fat content, I just didn't feel like it!). 

I do tend to skip meals but generally because I forget - I just don't get hungry unless I smell food. But I've been putting reminders in my e-diary so I don't forget and end up invisible


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## Skyseternalangel

EvilHorseOfDoom said:


> I do tend to skip meals but generally because I forget - I just don't get hungry unless I smell food. But I've been putting reminders in my e-diary so I don't forget and end up invisible


Yeah you and me both, lol..


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## EvilHorseOfDoom

Skyseternalangel said:


> Yeah you and me both, lol..


Being invisible's no fun, we'd be weird disembodied voices and no one would be friends with us. Except internet people, of course!

Speaking of food, I eventually managed to get the strength up to make chicken and leek soup (with mushrooms and rice too). It's going to last for days and is super delicious. I only wish I didn't have flu so I could add a dollop of sour cream on serving to thicken *drools*


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## Skyseternalangel

That does sound good!


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## Breella

About bras-- try swimsuits and pants when I have shorter than petite legs and longer than anything torso. 

Bathing suits are usually either riding up my butt or dangerously close to exposing the 'girls'. Back before I learned to sew up my pants I'd have the stupidest cuffs in them.


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## Skyseternalangel

Yeah they need to stop making "sizes" and start making ones that actually make sense. Elastic lining at the waist would be nice. That's why I'm more fond of jeggings. They're very form fitting


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## Celeste

I had to google jeggings. I never heard of those before.


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## Skyseternalangel

Oh that's surprising! Yeah they're leggings that look like jeans. Much more comfortable and they don't leave marks on your skin from the folds and rivets and such.


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