# BO won't do anything about unmannered, rude, dangerous horse VENT



## Cinnys Whinny

So I have been boarding at my stable for a little over a year now. As stables go I love it for the most part. I love the people, the family atmosphere and the general lack of drama with the exception of one person whom the BO has let slide by (actually I heard she was asked to leave and didn't and the BO doesn't make her because she needs the $$). For the most part, it's lovely.

But then, there is Monster horse. Monster (that's what I will call him here) is a 2 year old half clydesdale standing at just over 15h and I estimate he is at least 1000 pounds. Monster's owner has not seen him since the month or so after he was born at our barn. Nobody has worked with monster. The only time monster is handled is when he is lead to and from turnout in which most times the barn hands can't even get his halter off. There have also been a few times he was left in his stall due to his unruliness as he tends to rear, lunge and bite at peoples faces when they try to get him out.

So how does this effect me? Well, Cin is turned out with him every day. At first, it was all good...Monster was a yearling and it was thought that Cin would help his manners. But the opposite has happened. It is slowly getting worse and worse. I have to battle Monster every time I want to get my horse out of turnout. Any time I go to put a halter on Cinny he bites Cin, kicks him and chases him away from me and then gets in between me and Cin and tries to stare me down. Other times he has actually come after me, charging me, rearing and sometimes spinning and kicking at my face as was the way it went today. 

I feel like every time I go in to that turnout with monster I am putting my life on the line. I've dealt with high strung and spirited horses and I'm not afraid of them. Cinny was purchased as an untrained pasture puff himself and was quite unmannerly at first. But what Monster does, is just plain scary. I deal with his teeth gnashing at me and his hind end kicking at me every time.

Last NOVEMBER I told my BO that I wanted a different turnout situation for Cinny. She told me that she was gong to move Monster in with a yearling in another pen. I waited, and waited and waited. It never happened. I complained again, She told me she would think about it but frankly she acts like there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with Monster. Then she told me that there was a problem with Monster after he went after HER, and she said she was going to talk to his owner. Still nothing. I complain, and she spews off some sort of verbal vomit to try to appease me "I'm going to talk to his owner," "I'm going to start working with him," "I'm going to shuffle the horses turnouts around." Still nothing ever happens.

Today it took me 45 minutes to catch my horse, thanks to Monster. He got closer to my face when he kicked, I could actually feel the breeze from his hooves! I wear a helmet now but that wouldn't have helped my face. I texted the BO. I was told that there was nowhere else to put either horse for turnout (we have over 10 different pens) and that to compromise how bout Cinny get turned out only half day? That is Bull!! So unfair!! What makes me the maddest is that she has NEVER even tried Cin with any other horses despite the fact that at all his other stables he was turned out with different horses every week and got along with every one of them. He is great where it comes to turn out buddies. But she won't even try it. On top of that she tried to tell me that she has no other problem and the owner of the mare that is also turned out with them has no problem. But Monster doesn't give a rats butt about that mare, he is however overly attached to Cinny and screams for him while I try to work Cinny.

I pay my full board on time and sometimes even early. I follow the barn rules. I ask BO's permission before doing things, I clean up after myself and sometimes other people, I don't just take things I want, etc like saddle racks when people move out. She complains about other boarders to me and has cried on my shoulder in frustration at them. And my horse and I are now getting the shaft. I was accused of giving her an ultimatum, which I wasn't...I now wish I had. 

And I understand that working with horses is dangerous. However I think it's the responsibility of BO's to remedy dangerous situations like this. I am a full time stay at home mom with an Autistic Son. I rarely get time to be with my horse, maybe 2 or 3 hours once or twice a week. My riding is my time to relax. I shouldn't be made to feel like me and my horse are in danger any time I try to get him out of his turnout. Am I really being unreasonable expecting my horse to have full time turnout WITHOUT Monster when it is in my contract that he gets full day turnout as well as boarding/turnout in a safe environment?


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## waresbear

It's not up to you to put some manners on Monster. I would demand my horse be kept separate from this horse or you are gone.


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## SlideStop

The very first line you said the barn owner needs be money. Tell her you'll give her X amount of time and if she doesn't do anything about it your gone. This doesn't sound like a horse you bring a big long whip with and chase him away. I feel like that might backfire quickly. It's not worth risking your neck and you SHOULDNT HAVE TO!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cinnys Whinny

SlideStop said:


> The very first line you said the barn owner needs be money. Tell her you'll give her X amount of time and if she doesn't do anything about it your gone. This doesn't sound like a horse you bring a big long whip with and chase him away. I feel like that might backfire quickly. It's not worth risking your neck and you SHOULDNT HAVE TO!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yeah, I have a feeling that it would really backfire with this horse. On top of that, Cinny is scared of lunge whips and lead lines used in that manner and I believe that he was severely beaten by the people I got him from. He is fine with me swinging ropes around his head, etc, but as soon as I "thunk" a horse with it with the purpose of making it back off, he runs for the hills too and won't trust me for the rest of the day. That in itself is a backfire because then I definitely can't catch him. The most I can do his put my hand to Monsters chest and tell him back but it doesn't always work and it usually results in him reaching out and chomping on my horse, then kicking at me as they both run to the other side of the pen.


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## MyBoySi

If it were me I would tell her to figure out a different situation for my horse/monster horse or I would be moving in x amount of days.

You sound like a great boarder and I bet there are many barns that would be glad to have you. You are paying good money for a service and most barns would happily oblige. Why deal with it? You should be able to enjoy your horse to the fullest, not be worried about getting kicked in the face when you wish to work him.


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## Northernstar

Oooooh, what a terribly inept BO! I think I counted 6 "promises" - I'd have my horse out of there after 2. I suggest you (without one feeling of guilt!) find a new and responsible stable a.s.a.p.! That poor horse hasn't been given any proper training, but your life is at stake and you've already used 8 going in there. Be wise, do not feel guilty, do it for_ you_ and _your horse_


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## thetempest89

If I was paying board, I would move. Seriously that would scare the **** out of me, I don't HAVE to deal with dangerous horses. Especially if you can't take a whip with you out into the field because of Cinny. Screw that, I would have a hardcore talk and threaten to leave. 

And honestly, your BO is waiting for a law suit. That boy is 2 years old, he's going to grow and grow. And he's eventually going to figure out that he's bigger then everyone else, and he's going to do some major damage to the property, a person, or another horse. Seriously. And that OWNER! is ruining a horse, a dangerous draft horse is likely going to get passed around, or pts. 

This situation has made me mad. You should NOT have to deal with that.


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## BornToRun

At this point, it would be best for a horse like this to be pastured alone, or better yet, have the owners contacted so they can come pick up their demon spawn. If it were me, I would tell your BO they x numbers of days to figure something out or I will be finding a different barn to board at.


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## Cinnys Whinny

I'm putting out feelers for a new place to move. I love that stable too, I love my friends there. I don't want to leave. But I am tired of having to wear a helmet to catch my horse and still feeling like I've got the devil staring me down just waiting for an opening to do some damage. 

thetempest89 you are right, he is only going to get bigger and bigger. Just over 15h at 2 years old says it all and he ALREADY thinks he can kick everyone's bottom. The BO just acts like her hands are tied and says the owner of Monster just doesn't care. I personally think she needs to grow a spine. Everyone walks all over her. Like I said, she even kicked someone out a few months ago and not only did that person not leave, they brought in a new horse....and by the way, Cin could have had THAT turnout spot, but nooooooo


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## evilamc

Poor Cinny, I know exactly how you feel. I deal with a similar situation except hes about 18h! He's not as aggressive as Monster but literally tries to walk over me when I'm getting my horse...take my halter off my shoulder...will bit at my hose when I take him away and has kicked at me once! Its the owners 40k show horse so of course he has nooo problems. She thinks he and my horse are just best of friends and wont separate them. Since I know exactly how you feel, not to the same degree though, I would be looking to move. I constantly am looking for somewhere to move waiting for something to pop up. You shouldn't have to worry about getting hurt trying to get your horse..your horse is the only one thats allowed to hurt you  not some dummy in the field!

You sound like a very responsible boarder, you should take your hard earned money elsewhere, somewhere you'll be respected. The BO has had plenty of time to fix the situation and hasn't budged on it, you've given her way more chances then I would!


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## Cinnys Whinny

BornToRun said:


> demon spawn


Ha ha, that name completely fits him. In fact, his mom got his mother from a local rescue not knowing she was even pregnant with him. Surprise, out pops demon spawn!!! Then as soon as he was weaned she sold the mom and kept him, but then never came to see him again.

It's so sad really. I hear they think he's half quarter horse. He has the most beautiful floaty trot that screams DRESSAGE and he would be such an awesome horse for someone if he wasn't sitting there turning into a monster.


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## franknbeans

I wonder what the BO's insurance carrier would have to say about this? Bet she would do something when they dropped her.


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## stevenson

Move . that is very irresponsible for a BO. I would tell her so, and i would move. She will simply put that horse in with another, and someone and some horse is going to get seriously hurt. 
You should also point that out to her also, on the day you are leaving. 
I would state to NOT turn my horse out with that horse. 
I would ask for a reduction in board since you will not have turn out . 
I would find some place and be gone within the week. Pay for the time you are there.


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## bkylem

While I am naturally concerned about your horse's welfare, I am much more concerned about your own. Everything else stated on this thread thus far regarding the situation pales in comparison to your own health and safety.
Coming that close to being kicked in the face is so serious that it is even difficult to express in words.
Document the situation, send her a formal note with a time period to have the matter resolved and then be prepared to leave.

You are much more important than this drama you are allowing yourself to be in.
I don't mean to sound harsh. I just care about you.

All the best !


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## Cinnys Whinny

She sent me more texts. She still insists that the only solution is for Cinny to only be turned out half day and monster the other half. Cinny has had ulcers in the past and when I moved in to this barn I told her specifically that he was to be turned out all day with a round bale and if he couldn't have that it was a deal breaker, we would not move in. She said at the time ALL boarders were turned out ALL day. So to me this is sort of a breach of contract. I informed her that I insist on a turnout situation in which I do not feel like I am in danger when I get my horse, and my horse is to be turned out all day. This is what I contracted for, this is what I am paying for.

She now wants us to discuss it later this week as I am obviously currently "upset" about this and I need time to cool down. 

I think my old barn has openings. It is a little more high stress for Cinny (not drama, he just stressed there) and it's more expensive but I think my husband would rather pay higher board than have my head kicked in by the demon spawn. The barn I was at before here has openings but they had 5 mysterious horse deaths last year....all boarders, all acute onset colic, hmmmmm. The other 3 barns in the area are very high drama. Sigh..... I love my barn. It sucks that I have to chose between the possibility of being charged at and trampled but living otherwise stress free or going to a stress barn  I wish my BO would just get it through her head that the safety of boarders important.


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## Mingiz

Ask the BO to go out and catch your horse and let the Monster loose on her. She may change her mind about it. You shouldn't have to put yourself in danger over a crazy horse. Shame you can't take a whip with you because it scares your horse. I would (jmo) take one with me just give the monster a lesson or too..right between the ears...


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## Cinnys Whinny

Mingiz said:


> Ask the BO to go out and catch your horse and let the Monster loose on her. She may change her mind about it. You shouldn't have to put yourself in danger over a crazy horse. Shame you can't take a whip with you because it scares your horse. I would (jmo) take one with me just give the monster a lesson or too..right between the ears...


She works all day, she has a 9-5 job. She has a hired person in the morning to turn out, feed and muck stalls. Then she comes at 6 to bring them in for dinner. So of course when SHE catches Mr Evil Horse, he is plenty ready to come in and get dinner. He usually is brought in before Cinny. He does dance around and drag her, challenges her, etc. But she doesn't think he's dangerous.


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## franknbeans

Cinnys Whinny said:


> She sent me more texts. She still insists that the only solution is for Cinny to only be turned out half day and monster the other half. Cinny has had ulcers in the past and when I moved in to this barn I told her specifically that he was to be turned out all day with a round bale and if he couldn't have that it was a deal breaker, we would not move in. She said at the time ALL boarders were turned out ALL day. So to me this is sort of a breach of contract. I informed her that I insist on a turnout situation in which I do not feel like I am in danger when I get my horse, and my horse is to be turned out all day. This is what I contracted for, this is what I am paying for.
> 
> She now wants us to discuss it later this week as I am obviously currently "upset" about this and I need time to cool down.
> 
> I think my old barn has openings. It is a little more high stress for Cinny (not drama, he just stressed there) and it's more expensive but I think my husband would rather pay higher board than have my head kicked in by the demon spawn. The barn I was at before here has openings but they had 5 mysterious horse deaths last year....all boarders, all acute onset colic, hmmmmm. The other 3 barns in the area are very high drama. Sigh..... I love my barn. It sucks that I have to chose between the possibility of being charged at and trampled but living otherwise stress free or going to a stress barn  I wish my BO would just get it through her head that the safety of boarders important.


You are a far more patient person than I . When exactly does she think "later in the week" is? It is now Friday. Personally, I would arrange with a barn….I probably would try one of the "drama" ones because of the mysterious deaths shock, to move IMMEDIATELY if need be…..and then let the BO know we are going to chat, and it WILL be this weekend. I would text her back and ask her what time is good for her Saturday of Sunday….and go have her bring in your horse with you. THEN have a chat. Something need to change NOW, and it will NOT be the amount of turnout since that would be a breach of contract. Why should you be walked all over while all the other boarders get full turnout for the same price? I think she thinks you will just "go along" with her program, and is using you. She needs to know that you have a backbone! Honestly-I would probably let her know that if she wishes to continue to own a farm, she may want to deal with this horse-otherwise someone else will get it when she loses it in a lawsuit. Please make sure you are saving your texts, etc….and BE CAREFUL!


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## Left Hand Percherons

Board is due tomorrow. Call her bluff. Pay her for a week and tell her you'll be gone ASAP.


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## tinyliny

does his owner have any idea of the problems he is causing?


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## Shropshirerosie

Hi Cinny. I suspect you will have to go, but if you do want to give this a chance of getting sorted...

Are you doing all this by text? If so, stop that now. 'Phone your BO and request a face to face meeting next week. I am sure that she can move some mountains and be there if she knows she has to.

Then at the meeting tell her to her face that you will go unless she moves monster away from your horses field. No compromise, no part turn out, no excuse, no reason or justification needed.

This may not work - you may still have to move - but this is the only way to give yourself a chance of staying. 

I wish you luck with it.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians

I would insist on a face to face meeting before I paid anymore board. At that meeting I would tell her that when I moved in she understood that my horse not having full turn out and a round bale ALL BY HIMSELF were deal breakers and that now that she has moved this unmannerly horse in with my horse SHE has broken our contract. I'd also let her know that I would not be accepting any changes except for that horse to be removed from MY horse's paddock. If she chooses not to remedy the situation forthwith, I would pay day by day until I found new lodging for the horse and I would not allow her to talk me into anything else. If she needs the money, I bet she finds a way to get monster horse out of your boy's paddock quickly. Just because she lets people and horses walk all over her is no reason for you to do the same.


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## Cinnys Whinny

Well, she started texting me like nuts at about 9:30pm last night. First she was saying there was no Board check (I have until the 5th to pay it and it wasn't even the 1st) then insisting a face to face to discuss the situation. I told her with my husbands work schedule it's hard to say a definite day and time because I don't want to get a babysitter. I was then accused of NOT wanting to work things out. I told her that wasn't true I just can't say when my hubby will be home. I really don't want to pay a babysitter for this because I am charged 10 an hour. As it is I'm paying 80 a month extra when you consider it takes at least half an hour to get cin out, 3-4 times a week. That's about 80 bucks right there. She eventually blew up, told me she wasn't texting anymore because it was too unprofessional. As if texting a client at 9:30pm is professional in the first place?

Then this shows up on her friend's FB "I am simply amazed at how much some people live in their own little world and give no thought to how they treat others or make them feel because in their mind their needs are supposed to trump everyone else's." the same time I am texting her. Um, yeah A PERSONS SAFETY TRUMPS SOMEONE ELSED CONVENIENCE!!! Although, it may not have been aimed at me but as she cries on my shoulder and complains about other boarders I am sure that is what happened in regards to ME last night...

I think I found a stable to move to. It's one I didn't know was there and I think one of my friends from my old barn is there so I asked her about it. I know I will cry while moving though. I love my barn, and I may be mad and frustrated with her right now but I like my BO too. She is just "green" to barn management and takes the route of trying to please everyone instead of making safety a priority and setting definite rules.

This morning I sent her a text saying my hubby would be home. I asked if she wanted to meet later today, possibly for lunch/dinner somewhere? I also suggested my house so I don't have to get a sitter and we can discuss and I can make a meal. I said I really want to work this out.

She has not replied.


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## ILoveMyThoroughbredSmokey

I am sorry that you are going through this. it really sucks, you go to barn to enjoy yourself, and you have to deal with this. you really have to stand up for yourself. I would pay her for just 1 week.. and tell her that if your horse is not put in a different pen by the end of that week, then you will be taking your horse somewhere else.


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## pineapplepastures

Agreed. Move your horse!! Your BO sounds really unprofessional. If she complains to you about other boarders she is undoubtedly doing the same ABOUT you to them. I wonder where Monsters owner is in this scenario? Has she been contacted? You'd think the BO would want to loose an absent owner & bad mannered horse instead of the opposite, you & Cin! 

I'm curious to what your BO says to you! Update us when you can!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## princessfluffybritches

Help yourself not love that place so much. Why is this BO taking the side of a no-show owner with a dangerous horse. 

Your friends are there. Are they saying anything for your benefit?

I would get out of there asap, pay weekly, or don't pay at all and see if that gets her attention.


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## Northernstar

VERY unprofessional and negligent lady. Do not cook for her. _Do_ continue to make plans to go to the new barn, (Yay!!) and Do Not feel you owe her further explanation/apology, as she DEFINITELY has proven to all she "Lives in her own little world". Simply leave as soon as you can, and shame on her.


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## Cinnys Whinny

My friend who is at the new place finally got back to me. Sad news she says it isn't really ideal. It's a breeding barn and when the foals start popping out there will be no room. She also told me that turnout is very limited, which is NOT what I was lead to believe by the owner. My friend is actually looking to move out before the foals hit the ground.

I'm supposed to meet BO today at the barn. We only have temps in the single digits and I really do not want to be out there talking in that kind of cold. I would much rather make dinner and be in my warm house than to be out in the freezing weather.


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## ILoveMyThoroughbredSmokey

I really hope it goes well Cinny. don't let her walk over you and stand up for yourself. it isn't a big deal to move your horse to a different field.


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## womack29

Sounds very frustrating. I am fortunate to have my mare at my home. I did have her boarded for one year when we relocated and built a house but I was fortunate to not have to deal with any problems. Stand up for you and your horse. If I were in your shoes I would move if possible.


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## Cinnys Whinny

Yesterday she sent me a text saying she would be out at 4 to feed or all day today to do barn chores if I want to come talk it out. This morning I get up and at 9:30 told her I was on my way. She texted back that she wasn't going to be there until 11. Her idea of all day is actually only 11am to 6pm. Um, okaaaay. 

So I went down, she was actually working with Monster in the arena. He kicked at her head a few time, she smacked him with the lunge whip to get him back. This horse seriously needs time with a round pen which we do not have. But anyway he gave her a bit of hell and she came out tired and frustrated.

She then told me she would move Cinny BUT she needs time to figure out where to move him too and went in to this whole long scenario about how all the horses and turnouts are like a giant puzzle and owners are picky about who gets put with their horses blah blah blah blah. And then she complained about Monster too and I can tell she is frustrated with the situation. The horse belongs to a family member so she feels she can't kick him out I found out today. I guess someone who helped her with the loan to get the place. But that's neither here nor there.

I did contact High Stress barn. They said they would accommodate Cinny in one of the dry lots. Inconvenient for me as the one she would put him in is at the bottom of a hill and is muddy as often as it is not. It also means I have to go every single day to get him his ulcer supplements because they don't supplement the outdoor horses. I also may need to change trainers or pay a ring fee. But I do have some friends there so it won't be so bad.

So here is the decision, and some of you may not like it. I am on a quadrille team where I am and we have a show the first weekend of April. It's short notice for them to get someone else. I'm also in a Pas De Deux. I don't want to let these people down. So, I am giving my BO one last chance as she seems more determined to move Cinny than I have ever seen her, but only because of my commitments with other boarders. If he isn't moved by the weekend of the show then my ride home (who boards at stress stable) will just take me home there instead of my current stable. I will already have all of my tack with me at the show so it would be a pretty easy move.

In this way I will be the "bigger person" by giving the current BO a chance and I won't be letting anybody down. Although, I'm still very very tempted to go ahead and move after the show and still might. But I don't want to make it official and get a lot of animosity while I'm at the barn working with the quadrille team. We have enough drama as it is ha ha.


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## KigerQueen

I see why she has been so reluctant. It when from another boarders horse to a family members horse. Sooo she was trying to handle it nicely, to appease the borders AND the person. So since she is willing to give it a try id give her 1 more chance.


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## stevenson

hoping things work out for you.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians

I hope she follows through for you.


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## princessfluffybritches

Just think. I expect the same behavior from others that I give to them. Meaning I don't yell and scream at people so I do not accept it from other people. It's probably called self respect. 

I learned that with my first marriage. Why was I accepting treatment from another that I would never do to anyone. Took me years to learn that lesson.

I guess what I'm saying is if you were a barn owner and a boarder came to you with that problem, what would you do? That's what you should expect from others.


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## Saddlebag

The colt should have been turned in with a mare. It's the mare that teaches basic manners. Do like the BO. Take the lunge whip when you go to catch your horse and if you have to make sure the colt feels it. This is a time to be harsh and not worry about hurting him. In the herd horses hurt each other to make a point. That is what wins respect. Tape the lash to the handle and give him a good whack with the business end. But, if he approaches you, hold it about waist high and swing it side to side. He may stay back, if not he gets a good whack. It's his doing, not your's.


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## franknbeans

Saddlebag-OP has already said that HER horse is afraid of the whip, so if she takes it out with her, she will not be able to catch her horse. So perhaps what she needs to do is go out and really don;t intend to catch her horse----but to show Monster who is in charge. A couple of times of that and perhaps he will get some much needed respect.


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## RhondaLynn

I am so sorry about this whole situation. I hope things turn out perfect for you and Cinny.

Rhonda


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## Cinnys Whinny

I received at text last night that she will be putting Cinny with my friend's horse. 

That said, and I know "dwelling" doesn't help, but sometimes I still think about the situation and how I believe it shouldn't have gotten to this point. I shouldn't have to ask for almost 6 months to be taken out of a dangerous situation. Yesterday she said I only asked her twice last fall and that she doesn't understand why I'm so mad. But I don't think I should have had to ask a second and third time. And when I finally put my foot down and demand, it shouldn't have been "cried about" to other boarders who then find it fit to say snarky things on Facebook and who knows who all at the barn in person when one of the boarders herself doesn't know my side of the story and has only been at our ban 2 months. 

So I'm thinking I still may move after the show with the Quadrille team. I will miss my friends but I do have several friends at the other barn. It means going back to being in a dry lot instead of a barn stall, but that has it's pros as well for Cinny. I hate the tack storage too. But those are little inconveniences. I know I will be in a safe place. I know the Barn Owner (who is a laywer) has safety of all first and foremost and I know she does what she says she will do to the best of her ability.

If my current BO hadn't gone to other boarders with this, I could see us moving past it. We pretty much have. I just don't see the other boarders that she sucked into the drama getting over it.


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## ILoveMyThoroughbredSmokey

oh thats a shame that cinny finally got moved but there still trouble going on. i hope it works out for you. think of what is best in long run for you too.


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## tinyliny

gah! makes me realize how lucky I am to ride out of a no-drama-llamas barn.


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## ladygodiva1228

So let me get this straight. 

BO is a lawyer who had an issue with a totally different boarder, but didn't ask them to leave because she needs the money. 

She knowingly has a dangerous horse on her property that belongs to a family member who loaned her money to purchase the property and doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. 

And then she feels she has to cry to the other boarders about you.

Do you really want to stay at a place like that?


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## ChristineNJ

I would probably stay if she put my horse in a different paddock & just ignore the gossip by some of the other boarders. It will blow over and they will find someone else to be the target of their gossip soon enough. LOL LOL


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## doubleopi

ladygodiva1228 said:


> So let me get this straight.
> 
> BO is a lawyer who had an issue with a totally different boarder, but didn't ask them to leave because she needs the money.
> 
> She knowingly has a dangerous horse on her property that belongs to a family member who loaned her money to purchase the property and doesn't seem to want to do anything about it.
> 
> And then she feels she has to cry to the other boarders about you.
> 
> Do you really want to stay at a place like that?


Unless I'm wrong, the BO that is a lawyer is the BO of the barn Cinny MAY move to, not the barn they are currently at.


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## Kayella

I second Christine. I would put personal feelings aside and do what's best for Cinny. I wouldn't move my horse to a high stress barn, who is even prone to ulcers, because of some gossip. It will all blow over in the next couple weeks and things will be better with him in with your friend's horse. That's just my opinion, though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ridemcowgirl069

Its simple, don't let him do it. If you have to pop him in the face with a lead rope or a lunge whip so be it. Now as far as your horse, I highly doubt he was abused. It sounds more a respect issue then a trust issue. If your horse runs off then chase him. Make him run and run and run until he says oh no she's making me work and I don't like this. Then he'll turn and face you licking and chewing. Then just let him stand there and think for a moment. He's a horse not a baby so he needs to be treated like a horse. When the horses in a herd misbehave the lead mare will chase them away from the herd which means they will die without protection from the herd. That's what joining up is and why it works so well because horses are very good at self preservation and will do what it takes to stay with the lead mare. Don't let your horse misbehave. I don't care what the the other horse is doing, there's absolutely no excuse for him to run off when he knows you're trying to catch him. When another horse runs off he should be looking to you to see if he should run or not. Sounds like your horse thinks the other guy is in charge not you and that only makes the other horse more aggressive towards you and you will end up getting hurt if it continues. I'm pretty sure no one wants to see you get hurt, so if the bo won't separate them then you'll just have to take the time to correct the behavior yourself. This is going to take way more time then a few days a week. Being a stay at home mom is great because you can go work with the horse. Take your son with you it will be very good for him to be around horses. Ask a friend at the stables to stay with your son outside of the turn out pen and let him watch how mommy works with horses. It'll be great you can spend time with both your child and your horse and what's better then that
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kayella

ridemcowgirl069 said:


> Its simple, don't let him do it. If you have to pop him in the face with a lead rope or a lunge whip so be it. Now as far as your horse, I highly doubt he was abused. It sounds more a respect issue then a trust issue. If your horse runs off then chase him. Make him run and run and run until he says oh no she's making me work and I don't like this. Then he'll turn and face you licking and chewing. Then just let him stand there and think for a moment. He's a horse not a baby so he needs to be treated like a horse. When the horses in a herd misbehave the lead mare will chase them away from the herd which means they will die without protection from the herd. That's what joining up is and why it works so well because horses are very good at self preservation and will do what it takes to stay with the lead mare. Don't let your horse misbehave. I don't care what the the other horse is doing, there's absolutely no excuse for him to run off when he knows you're trying to catch him. When another horse runs off he should be looking to you to see if he should run or not. Sounds like your horse thinks the other guy is in charge not you and that only makes the other horse more aggressive towards you and you will end up getting hurt if it continues. I'm pretty sure no one wants to see you get hurt, so if the bo won't separate them then you'll just have to take the time to correct the behavior yourself. This is going to take way more time then a few days a week. Being a stay at home mom is great because you can go work with the horse. Take your son with you it will be very good for him to be around horses. Ask a friend at the stables to stay with your son outside of the turn out pen and let him watch how mommy works with horses. It'll be great you can spend time with both your child and your horse and what's better then that
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I believe you need to catch up on the thread, as they are being separated. Chasing a horse that's scared of a whip with a whip will do nothing but make the horse more terrified of it. Advising she take her child around a draft horse that's nearly kicked her in the face multiple times is hardly good advice, either.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ladygodiva1228

doubleopi said:


> Unless I'm wrong, the BO that is a lawyer is the BO of the barn Cinny MAY move to, not the barn they are currently at.


Thank god I read the post wrong then. I thought the current BO where she is was the lawyer.


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## Cinnys Whinny

ladygodiva1228 yes, the lawyer is at the barn we may move to. 

ridemcowgirl069 Wow. Um, you don't know my horse, you don't know the situation I got him from, you don't know what training my horse has had, and you don't know what we have been through with him. To say you doubt he was beaten and then give advice not knowing these things is a bit harsh. And by the way, at the first stable I had him at I caught the stable hand chasing him and hitting him with sticks to go in to his run. He was so well trained they only had to open the door but they thought it was funny to work the horse up so they run and buck as they left their stalls. This after I finally got him to allow men to touch him...which he wouldn't let men NEAR him when I first got him, especially men with whips.

I do NOT treat MY horse like a baby. Never have, never will. I know about "herd mentality" I know about "joining up." My horse can play all the wonderful "games" trust me. I can have him in the arena, swing a rope around his bell, legs back, do figure 8's in the air around his ears, let it hit him. I can do the same things with a lunge whip. He respects me, I can lead him without a halter and lead rope. 8 year old 4H kids can work with him. He has respect. We are in a quadrille team that performs and shows. He plays well with others. We have done a lot of rehab on him.

His problem is when I use anything to get that MONSTER off of me. Then he suddenly acts like I'm gong to beat him up. He trembles, he begins to sweat profusely, breath heavily, he bolts, and he has a scared silly look in his eyes. Trust me, this horse isn't "spooky" this is the ONLY time he gets freaked out. He literally runs scared. You can pop balloons at him, kids turn cartwheels in front of him, play tag under him and nothing. He isn't a spooky horse.

And maybe he thinks the other guy is in charge but how would he think any other way? Monster has bullied, bitten, kicked at and nearly trampled every barn hand that has tried to handle him in the last 6 months. They keep hiring new ones and they all quit within a few weeks. He does this to me, he does it to the BO and he usually gets left alone because of it. So yeah, I see it. And my horse gets bullied by him too. Of course my horse is going to run when another horse starts cannon kicking him and biting him. and as long as Monster knows he can cow every human and horse that comes in to contact with him, it will continue.

It is not my responsibility to change, train, or otherwise have to do anything with Monster. I also am not permitted to. He is NOT my horse, I do not have his owners permission to handle him, train, him, discipline him, etc. 

I have maybe 2 hours a day, 1 or 2 days a week to ride. That's it. It is my ONLY time to relax. My life away from the stable is so hectic and chaotic that I barely sleep, I'm lucky to have time for a shower (and when I do I'm usually to exhausted) or eat. My time is VERY PRECIOUS to me. I should not have to spend it dealing with a horse that is not mine.

I should be able to go into the gate. Put my halter on my horse. Give him and his other turnout mates a pat and a hello. Then lead him out. No fighting, no chasing, no whips, no bruises the size of grapefruit from being bitten, no feeling like I'm only safe if I wear a vest and a helmet. It should be simple, easy and relaxed because after all, the only reason I am there is to have a couple hours of relaxed enjoyment with one of my best friends.


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## Cinnys Whinny

Oh, and being a stay at home mom, does NOT mean I get all the time in the world to play with my horse. It means I BARELY have time to see the horse. And no, I can NOT take my son to the stable, and especially not have him around Monster. My son is 4 and AUTISTIC. Don't know what that means, it means my life is not my own. My husband works for the railroad and is gone 36-48 hours at a time, home for 10 hours and called to work again with no days off. Most of the time he gets home AFTER my son goes to bed and leaves BEFORE he gets up. You can't simply get a sitter for an autistic child, you cant' simply take them any old where, and life at home isn't a lazy box of chocolates! It's driving to one therapy after another, peer classes to try to get him to socialize, training him to EAT...yes I said that, he does not know to chew his food yet. You have to have a constant eye on him because he has no sense of danger and yet the knowledge of most 10 year olds so he can unlock doors, figure out how to stack things to unlock doors if you make the lock high. It's a full 24 hour job, you don't get to sit down, you don't get to eat, you barely get to use the **** toilet.

You have an interesting point of view of the world around you.


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## ILoveMyThoroughbredSmokey

i am a stay at home mom also... and it is very difficult for me to go to the barn for a good amount of time.my husbands schedule is crazy..and i can only go when he is home. he usually works 16 hr shift every day.. so if the 8 hours he has off is at night i cant go to barn. if it off in morning...i can only go if baby will peacefully sleep with him if i put her to bed with him. being a SAHM is hard work. always on your toes and busy taking care of you child and the house. i cant take angelina to barn either, because she gets way to excited and will not stick to one place and will try to get in the field with the horses. and she is 2 years old. And Cinny, your son being autistic makes it a 100 times harder then i have it! so people should really be more considerate of your situation. your time at barn should be your getaway.


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## SlideStop

Cinny, to bad your not near me! I'd baby sit for you in a heartbeat! Finding a babysitter for a child with autism is difficult. There is one out there though, you just have to work extra hard to find one! :wink:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cinnys Whinny

I have a wonderful one. She is a college student and can somehow weave Michael in schedule. But, it's not cheap and hubby has me limited as to how many hours a week he will pay for a sitter. Sitter time is not cheap and even more precious, too precious to spend on an Evil Spawn who isn't even my own horse. 

At 2 hours for the day. half hour is taken up in driving right off the top. That leaves 1 1/2 hours to groom, tack up, warm up, ride, untack, regroom, put Cinny to bed, measure out grain for a few days. But wait, 1/2 hour to 45 minutes is wasted because of Monster.... doesn't leave me with much, I might as well not even tack up.

So few "get" it LOL.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians

Cinnys Whinny said:


> I have a wonderful one. She is a college student and can somehow weave Michael in schedule. But, it's not cheap and hubby has me limited as to how many hours a week he will pay for a sitter. Sitter time is not cheap and even more precious, too precious to spend on an Evil Spawn who isn't even my own horse.
> 
> At 2 hours for the day. half hour is taken up in driving right off the top. That leaves 1 1/2 hours to groom, tack up, warm up, ride, untack, regroom, put Cinny to bed, measure out grain for a few days. But wait, 1/2 hour to 45 minutes is wasted because of Monster.... doesn't leave me with much, I might as well not even tack up.
> 
> So few "get" it LOL.


Hopefully your days of having to deal with Monster are over. If the BO does what she promised, you won't have to spend that precious time on that Hel* Whelp. Take a deep breath and concentrate on relaxing. Let go of the anger and resentment and get ready to start enjoying your time.


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## Khainon

this just sounds like one messed up situation....id move if it was me..but thats just me...i may not be a single parent...but i do take care of a 45 year old paranoid scitzophrenic with learning disabilities who has seizures and wets himself among other things..he has the mind of a toddler...thus..my own time getting to see my horses is rare..maybe twice a week if i am lucky, though i can understand where your coming from...calling the horse devil spawn is kind of unfair...as it is not the horses fault he is like how he is...it is the owners for not working with him and socializing him as he or she should..if anything...the human is the evil spawn here.


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## Filou

take a long whip out to protect yourself from psycho wanna be murder horse! And use it a few times on him so he gets the message!

I don't care if its my horse or not if its trying to kill me I need to defend myself.


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## Cinnys Whinny

Khainon said:


> this just sounds like one messed up situation....id move if it was me..but thats just me...i may not be a single parent...but i do take care of a 45 year old paranoid scitzophrenic with learning disabilities who has seizures and wets himself among other things..he has the mind of a toddler...thus..my own time getting to see my horses is rare..maybe twice a week if i am lucky, though i can understand where your coming from...calling the horse devil spawn is kind of unfair...as it is not the horses fault he is like how he is...it is the owners for not working with him and socializing him as he or she should..if anything...the human is the evil spawn here.


Your right, I will just go back to calling him Monster. Or maybe Unmannered Horse.


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## Shropshirerosie

Cinny, I am a stay at home mum too. My son is 8 now so life is much easier for me but I'm just popping in to this thread to say that I do understand your difficulties too. You are living life in a very taut state of existence in which you only manage by planning and managing every second. 

No, you should not have to deal with Monster during your precious time at the yard, I hope the barn owner is sorting it today....or sooner!

I doubt Cowgirl was trying to be hurtful - until you have lived life in another persons shoes it is sometimes impossible to imagine how hard things can be. It WILL get better! All those classes and groups you are taking your son to, all the coaching and caring you are doing - will reap rewards as he does learn to live more independently over time. :hug:


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## Khainon

Cinnys Whinny said:


> Your right, I will just go back to calling him Monster. Or maybe Unmannered Horse.


you can always call him brat too...works for me when i work with horses that have the manners of a rock lol


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## Cinnys Whinny

Cinny has been moved. Today I went to get him out for the farrier and he was in another run with my friend's horse. Its a little smaller but I'm fine with that. It was so lovely to go in, pat both horses on the head, put a halter on Cinny and quietly lead him out in under a minute. Ahhhhhhhhh


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians

That's how it should be!


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## Cinnys Whinny

It took a day or so for Cin to trust my friend's horse but I think he finally feels like he can actually RELAX in the turnout.

See what I mean????


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## KigerQueen

So things gotten better? besides the turn out? Who is the poor person out with monster now?


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## tinyliny

Cinnys Whinny said:


> Cinny has been moved. Today I went to get him out for the farrier and he was in another run with my friend's horse. Its a little smaller but I'm fine with that. It was so lovely to go in, pat both horses on the head, put a halter on Cinny and quietly lead him out in under a minute. Ahhhhhhhhh


Ah, the simple joys of life!


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## Cinnys Whinny

KigerQueen said:


> So things gotten better? besides the turn out? Who is the poor person out with monster now?


Yes, things are going back to "peace" at the barn. 

The arabian mare that was always with Cin and Monster is still in there and then the BO put a crotchety, old crank of a mare in with them.


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## KigerQueen

Good! Every colt needs to go in with a grumpy mare!


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## Zexious

Glad to hear things have FINALLY worked out! Oh my goodness.

Frankly, I am appalled at BO's behavior. New to Barn management or not, that doesn't sound like a healthy situation. I don't know many barns where a horse (who has to be handled) can simply be forgotten about...?

Cinny is just adorbs, by the way ;D


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## stevenson

Glad you got the issue resolved. Hopefully there wont be issues with the horses in the bratdevilspawnmonster of a horse.


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