# New horse owner with boarding concerns



## charrorider (Sep 23, 2012)

That sounds like a difficult situation. I've never even been in what people who stable horses call, "a barn." Just want to make sure you know that before I give an opinion. I've been riding Arabians on trails for over 30 years. Maybe it is the breed; maybe it is me. But I'm a deep believer in forging a deep bond with your horse. I have never met anyone who I would feel comfortable riding my horse. People do things differently. Not necessarily better or worse, just different. I believe my horses are used to the way I do things with them. I don't want them getting confused.


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

OK let me answer your questions with my perspective

"Fair" is sort of a loaded word. If my fat Pony could consistently be ridden by someone who's better than me, I'd be happy with it, because he's fat and needs the exercise. I don't think that "only crossrails" is a good phrase. Crossrails are still a lot of work and a lot of stress on a horse's joints. Someone said something like, "A horse only has so many jumps in him," meaning that every time he jumps he's damaging his joints just a little, and the more frequently he does it the sooner he will be unable to jump any more. I think using him in back to back lessons where he's doing crossrails is completely unacceptable. Some of the lesson horses where I board are used for back to back lessons, but it's typically one easy lesson (walk-trot with beginners on the flat) and then maybe one jumping lesson or one crossrails lesson.
Wait, you pay for feed for ALL the horses at her barn?
That seems like a lot, but you'd have to look around and see what things are going for in your area. I pay $550 a month for basic pasture board. My horses live in a "pasture" that is turning into a dirt lot because it's overstocked. There are three arenas, one of which is covered, and a round pen. Barn provides hay and would provide feed as well but my guys don't need feed.
No. Have you thought about the liability here? What if something happens? The trainer is going to blame you and tell the other horse owner to get compensation from you. You haul someone else's horse free as a wonderful favor when you really like that person and it's maybe a one-off thing and you trust them and their horse implicitly. Otherwise no, no, and no.

I wouldn't stick around in this situation. The whole thing where she's turning your horse into a lesson horse for jumping lessons, without compensation, is unacceptable IMO. I mean, basically she's half leasing him from you for free. Maybe if you could talk to her and get it in writing and make her promise to not do that any more, I might stick around, if my horse was otherwise happy, but I wouldn't trust her, I'm afraid. In her mind, she's doing you a favor, and I suspect she will continue doing this "favor" for you.

ETA: OK to be fair, I do pay a trainer to ride Pony once a week, but I'm happy with this situation because I'm 100% comfortable with the way she rides him and how slowly she takes things. If someone who was better than me wanted to ride him another once a week, just to help him lose weight, I'd be fine with it as long as I knew the person and was comfortable with how they rode. I wouldn't want some random people to just be riding him all the time, esp in back to back lessons.

ETA #2: I just re-read your post. She has taken him off property for someone else to ride in a lesson and not told you??? I'd be out of there. * He is NOT her horse to use how she sees fit. I don't care how a prestigious trainer she is.*


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Without knowing a typical cost of boarding for your area, one will find it hard to say if your situation is 'ok' or nor. I would not be worried about several diffeent people feeding. That is something you will run into in most places. As to you not getting a reduction in board, is it possible that that is considered when calculating your total board? Again, without knowing what comparable places charge for sraight board, alone, l I couldn't tell if you are being cheated or not.

I do think you should be compensated if you are trailering someone else's horse to an arena. 

I do not think it is a big issue to have lessons back to back occasionally. A lot of a lesson is taken up by the rider standing and listening to the instructor. The thing to do would be to observe these lessons and see if they are physically demanding onn the horse. really,, horses are a lot stronger than we give them credit for.


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

@ACinATX, do you pay $550 a month for three horses or each?

Board prices can vary greatly from area to area. If south means California or Florida, prices can be very high. In my area for $400 you would expect to have hay included and full care, meaning fed twice a day, manure cleaned up and daily turnout. 

If someone was using my personal horse, I'd expect that I would know the exact schedule each week, who would be riding the horse, and I would need to be able to come and watch whenever I wished to check and see how the horse was being used. If I thought a certain rider or use was not acceptable, I would say no. 

Whether I would let someone else use the horse would depend on some things. I'd have to trust the person a lot. Also it would depend on if the horse was one that had a physical state where light use was better, or if the horse needed more exercise. If I thought the horse would benefit from more exercise, then I would be grateful to have the horse exercised. If the horse had any physical issues or weaknesses, I'd want to only exercise the horse myself.

Something to consider if you are having riders use the horse at a higher level than yourself. With some horses it is better to not use them beyond what the owner can handle. Meaning, if another rider has the ability, they may let your horse develop bigger gaits or take jumps that you are not prepared to handle. You'll not want your horse to become too sharp, doing lead changes you weren't ready for and etc. I like my own horses to move out nicely, but if I am on a friend's horse that jogs along, I'll be sure to keep the horse slower so they understand that is the pace their owner wants.

If you have agreed to have your horse used in a lesson program, it should be explained to you how this reduces your board. For example, the board would cost x amount but for each lesson per week it is reduced by so much. For trailering another person's horse, that other person should be compensating you for using your trailer. If someone takes my horse along for a trail ride or to an arena, I usually pay $10 for a drive of 30 minutes or less. A trainer used to charge me $30 for driving my horse 5 miles down a rural road, so the horse was in the trailer ten minutes.


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

@gottatrot $550 each, then more for lessons and for the trainer to ride Pony once a week. I wish we had the "faint" emoji here. It is so much money.


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## Palfrey (May 29, 2020)

hummingbird said:


> This will probably be a fairly long post, I'm afraid. It's also my first post, and I'm excited to hear feedback from more experienced horse owners. To start, I purchased my first horse last year. I've always loved horses, but never had the financial means growing up to take lessons. I started taking lessons again a few years ago, and last year bought my first horse, an OTTB (which originally we had said we wouldn't do, but he's got a really great brain and not an emotional horse).
> 
> OK, so now my issue. My trainer owns a very small property, and the agreement was the horses boarded there have to be used in her lesson program. As some one who is still learning, I am actually comfortable with some one riding my horse that is at a higher level than me - I want my horse to be ridden correctly so that when I get to that point, he's already accustomed to it and it's not just still newbie me, teaching him bad habits. Trainer and I had an agreement that no one who had a skill level lower than me would ride him (he has a great brain, but is still green). None of of this was in writing, because trainer is also a colleague from work and we had been friends for years. First mistake on my part. This facility does NOT have a ring, so anytime we do lessons, he has to be trailered to a community ring (which I am responsible myself for doing). He is trailered out frequently for other lessons to. Thank God he is totally good with being trailered. However, I just found out he is being lessoned sometimes twice a day, back to back. That feels like a lot to me. MOST of the time it's just crossrails, but he is doing 2'6 sometimes, and I wasn't aware of that until trainer told me the other student jumped him that high. I mentioned I wasn't comfortable with that, and got the "well, remember if they're boarded here...etc, and also I would never do anything if the horse could be harmed." I trust my trainer in the sense of she does know what she's doing (she taught at a very prestigious barn before retiring here) but I also get the feeling that my horse is being used so she doesn't have spend her own money to buy her own horse. I was fine with him being used by the more advanced STUDENT (not studentS), but I'm not comfortable with him being ridden by several different people, which was not my original understanding. I am also never informed when he has been taken off property to lesson.
> 
> ...


Wow, I feel you are being taken waaay advantage of. I'm not even sure where to begin so I'll just throw it out there...

Feeding horses with no compensation, your horse being taken off property without your knowledge, you hauling your horse plus another person's with no compensation, and yes, I too would be irritated about the back to back lessons--simply because of the jumping. I would not want my horse jumped, and jumped and jumped some more, which is most likely what is happening. He's a TB so his stamina is fine, but I would be concerned for his future soundness. The dismissive way she handled your concerns as well--no, just no. 

I've never boarded, but I've been in the horse biz for awhile. I will say, it's her barn, her rules. She can have a policy that states boarded horses are used for lessons. That's okay. Sometimes it works out perfect. The fact that you are uncomfortable with the situation is when all of this starts to matter. 

Am I right that the hay and grain isn't included in your board? If not, yeah, $400 way steep. I live up north, but I too live in a very rural, non horsey area. $400 here gets you turnout on pasture, 12x12 stalls, indoor arena, grooming/wash rack, tack room. 

If it were me, I'd be planning my exit strategy. 

Good luck to you!


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

ACinATX said:


> @gottatrot $550 each, then more for lessons and for the trainer to ride Pony once a week. I wish we had the "faint" emoji here. It is so much money.


WOW. For pasture board...I hope your hay is gorgeous for that price.


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

gottatrot said:


> WOW. For pasture board...I hope your hay is gorgeous for that price.


Actually I wish it were old and stemmy, and then maybe Pony wouldn't be so fat, LOL.

I will say that they do have dedicated stalls too, but if I make the decision to stall them then I am the one feeding, watering, and mucking them. Which is fine, because I don't pay for that service and I almost never stall them anyways. She also let me convert one stall into a private tack room.

I live in an expensive city and this place is a 20-25 minute drive from my house, which I guess isn't bad. The board was $100 less two years ago but she keeps raising it. It's still pretty in-line with what other places around here charge.


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## hummingbird (Feb 6, 2021)

gottatrot said:


> Something to consider if you are having riders use the horse at a higher level than yourself. With some horses it is better to not use them beyond what the owner can handle. Meaning, if another rider has the ability, they may let your horse develop bigger gaits or take jumps that you are not prepared to handle. You'll not want your horse to become too sharp, doing lead changes you weren't ready for and etc. I like my own horses to move out nicely, but if I am on a friend's horse that jogs along, I'll be sure to keep the horse slower so they understand that is the pace their owner wants.


That's a really excellent point that I never thought of. It's been so drilled that it is in my benefit to have someone more advanced ride him that I have never considered if it's not. I thought I was being a little silly, because I loved the idea of being able to grow with my guy and was being selfish by feeling odd about having other people ride him and take him to more advanced things. I am glad that this wasn't me being crazy LOL. I've just parroted what I've heard that it's a great thing. 

I've considered moving him to my personal property once I finish having it cleared off, however it would only be one acre (with a stall). But that's more than what he has now so _shrugs_ Then at least I would be the only one trailering him and would have more control. At this point, I think it may be the only thing I CAN do, other than move him to another barn, which would cause our friendship to end and I would not have a trainer any longer. But I am glad to hear your feedback that these are unreasonable expectations. 



Palfrey said:


> m I right that the hay and grain isn't included in your board? If not, yeah, $400 way steep. I live up north, but I too live in a very rural, non horsey area. $400 here gets you turnout on pasture, 12x12 stalls, indoor arena, grooming/wash rack, tack room.


Yes, exactly. I purchase grain myself. Fescue hay IS provided, but I have him on alfalfa as well, so I do pay for that. 



ACinATX said:


> In her mind, she's doing you a favor, and I suspect she will continue doing this "favor" for you.


WOW. This really sums up her personality 

And to clarify, she does go out of town frequently and always has the people who board with her cover feeds. If none of us can cover, THEN she will pay an outside person to come feed, but we never receive any compensation or money off board / lessons for doing that. That's what I meant when I said we never recieve anything for feeds. 

Trainer has been approached by another boarder about this same topic of their horse being used in a lesson without owner's knowledge he had been trailered off, and trainer was VERY nasty and told them they could leave the barn if they wanted. Because the trainer and I have a more personal relationship, when I approached the same topic before I was treated a little bit nicer, but I do think she's got it in her head that she's offering her knowledge and skills, when she had been retired, and we should be thankful for it and let her do what she thinks is best. I forgot to mention that part in my original post.


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## Milton'sMama (Jan 9, 2021)

hummingbird said:


> -Is it fair for a trainer/boarder to require use of client horses in training programs? With no compensation?
> -Is it fair for trainer/boarder to request clients to feed the horses on site with no compensation?
> -Is $400 a reasonable price when there is no ring on site and no large pastures with grass?
> -Is it fair for trainer/boarder to request client trailer their horse WITH another client's horse to meet them at a ring so they can provide lessons? Otherwise the client cannot lesson.


Yikes. Let me tell you what I get for $400/month:


Horse lives out 24/7 with company in one of three huge, grassy (except now/winter) pastures with nice shelters.
There are TWO riding rings on the property: outdoor is all-weather footing with mirrors down one side, and a beautiful covered with a full 20mX60m dressage arena. This place hosts lessons, clinics, and shows all the time.
There is also a wonderful, large round pen for lunging and other ground work.
We can also ride in the big field that surrounds the covered arena
* The barn has a washrack with hot water that I can use any time.

The barn has a nice tack room with heat/air where my tack and gear is kept. Also a fridge, a sink, a washing machine we're allowed to use for blankets, etc.
No one rides my horse but me!
My horse is fed Tribute feed twice a day, timothy hay twice a day (until pasture is back), and any supplements I provide.
My horse is blanketed/unblanketed as weather dictates
My horse receives farrier and vet care, even if I can't be there at the time.

I'm in rural North Carolina.


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## SteadyOn (Mar 5, 2017)

I feel like @Kalraii would have some things to say about this!!


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## horselovinguy (Oct 1, 2013)

*WELCOME to the forum...*

Expect to have a lot of disgruntled responses..add mine to the list.

*Honey, you have taken advantage of stamped on your forehead.*

You provide all the food...
You ship your horse and another several times a week, even 1x a week for free...
You watch your horse being ridden by others, many times a week...
You are not alerted to what your horse is going to be doing on a weekly basis...
Your understanding with said "trainer" is not what you were led to understand would be done with YOUR animal..
You pay full board cost of $400 a month...for a small paddock, a stall and daily cleaning...

_*So, what is your benefit?*_
I see the "trainer" reaping money in her pocket on your horse...
Guaranteed, not only does she charge lessons fees, she charges for the shipping of the horse to that riding ring...
You pay her full board and she has pretty much carte' blanche to use and do with your horse as she wants, when she wants, how she wants and when you question her she gives you a lame...you know...

Yup, I know too....
*Out the door and not look back.*
It is time to find a new barn where your horse will be your horse and not have inexperienced riders learning on a green horse who might be teaching bad habits because they are not accomplished but learning in their riding careers too..
You pay full board yet also must spend $$ to provide all the horses food needs...
You are paying for the farrier too I bet and the vet, not sharing those expenses...

So what happens the day the horse takes a bad step and gets hurt, the rider falls off and gets hurt and you are facing huge bills and a possible lawsuit as you are the owner of said lesson horse.. 

Its time to find a new barn.
With what your expenses are monthly...
Full board and food you pay for...
You are easily spending in excess of $600 a month, let us not forget your time and use of your truck & trailer, so gas, wear & tear to your equipment... 
Said "friend" is using you and using you good...
She pockets over $600 a month _clear_ with your board paid, 1 lesson a week @ $50 per including the ship and she uses the horse how often....so considerably _*more*_ in her pocket.
Time to stop her bleeding you, using you and more importantly using your horse...
You have all the expenses and she has a deep pocket to place the money and no responsibility for in...
If she has to have use of the animal to board at her place...then it is time to vacate her place and you find new place and a trainer so you can ride and enjoy your horse.
If your horse is that good a mount, then you will shortly be able to have the horse in a partial use lesson program or semi-private lease with set parameters of use in writing so you are not so taken advantage of...
Time to make inquiries and get out..._now_ before something bad happens.
🐴...


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## SteadyOn (Mar 5, 2017)

I pay $600 for full board, including all feed, at a property with an indoor arena and two outdoor arenas. I have a part-boarder paying me $300 a month for three rides a week. I pay extra for lessons, usually just one or two month, whenever I feel like it with whomever I want, as there is no on-site instructor, but some freelance ones in the area. So adding in supplements and farrier, all in all I'm paying about $450 a month in total. I don't have to work off any of it. And no one is riding my horse without my knowledge or permission, I don't have to trailer anywhere to ride, and I'm not paying extra for food (except for the supplements I CHOOSE to feed).

I'm sure they're must be something better out there for you and your horse!! And that you could have a trainer come to teach you, wherever you relocate to.


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

SteadyOn said:


> I feel like @Kalraii would have some things to say about this!!


This is the first thing I thought of: Where is @Kalraii, who has been in your position, treated similarly, and solved her problem.


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## AragoASB (Jul 12, 2020)

OP " My gelding is typically in a very small lot, as the facility again is very small. Admittedly, he is fine with this. Like I said, he is super chill and WAS confined to stalls / small turn outs his entire life before I purchased him, so at this point it doesn't stress him out. But I didn't realize he would always be in the smallest of the lots. "

Horselovingguy, I don't see anything about stalls here.

" I didn't realize he would always be in the smallest of the lots. He does get ample hay and high quality grain, and I always have salt blocks for him. " " . I provide all grain, special hay, etc. "

He gets hay that OP pays for I guess someone cleans the manure in the pen? Or does she do that too?

" I also do cover feeds (for all the horses on site) without any money taken off board. Is this typical? " 

What?


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## Avna (Jul 11, 2015)

Move to a barn where you pay board and have optional lessons with a trainer. Like regular people do. Your relationship with this person is like that of a host and its parasite. 

I would not move your horse home yet. That is a whole nother level of knowledge. Wait on that one, but get out of your situation asap.


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## Part-Boarder (Aug 17, 2019)

Sounds like your friend is taking advantage of your relationship and lack of knowledge. It’s a very advantageous situation for her and others have noted, you take on various risks without knowing. At the place I ride, the barn owner arranges for some part-boarders to ride privately owned horses boarded at the stable but they are usually the ones who need to be ridden more than the owner is able to, the owner provides permission generally and also on the day (the barn owner will call to make sure it’s ok depending on the owners plans for the horse that day), she selects the riders carefully and even sends photos and videos to the horse owner so she feels comfortable with the riders on her horse. Re; horse board, I think $350-$450 would normally include hay and pasture at a barn with at least an oudoor sand ring, Blanketing and grain would be extra. I would suggest checking what your other options are. If there is another place with availability, you can be more assertive about your boundaries (no jumping, 1 lesson per day or no lessons) and see if that makes any difference and if not then move (or just move if you find something cheaper with more space). If you don’t have alternatives, you may need to take it more slowly and pick your battles.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I agree with @Avna. The more I hear from you, the more I feel that your relatioship with the person could not really be called 'friendship'. I think you just learned that it isn't smart to mix 'friends' with 'business'.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Yikes! Do you have any idea of what kind of insurance is carried by this barn? Is there any provision to protect you if your horse injures someone? If not you are in a precarious situation. 

Unless you can satisfy yourself on this point, and since you say you have nothing in writing, I would get your horse out of there as soon as possible. You do not want to burn any bridges, you simply have to say that a personal emergency requires you to move your horse, show up with a trailer and get all your stuff out of there.


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## carshon (Apr 7, 2015)

As so many others have said. Start looking at other barns to compare services. It has been many years since I boarded but one thing I have found is that people get "stuck" at a barn and with a trainer, their riding then also gets "stuck" Always keep your eyes open. It sounds like your gut is telling you that you are being taken advantage of, do some research and base any decisions on what other barns offer for training and board.


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## Whinnie (Aug 9, 2015)

I agree that this person is not a "friend". Don't feel loyal to her, do what is best for your horse and yourself, which in my opinion is finding anther barn for board and lessons. Lesson learned, have a contract with everything spelled out, ask lots of questions before committing to a barn. When I left my barn after 7 1/2 years, I wrote a very nice exit letter, gave praise about my horse's care and basically said my move was because of issues with that were not the BO's fault but could only be corrected by a move. She was not happy with me anyway so you can't please anybody. Please don't let yourself be bullied into accepting this situation.


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## SKB1994 (Sep 28, 2014)

Without knowing boarding rates in your area I can't comment on fair. But where I live its not uncommon for people to have their horses used by the trainer to keep boarding costs lower. This might just be the case at your barn but it's unspoken. You can easily look up other facilities in your area to see if this is the norm or if you have deeply discounted board. Full board near me averages $700-1200 a month, and not all of those facilities have an indoor arena, but most have an outdoor. I can get rough board where I do 100% of the chores and buy all the feed and bedding for around $350. Turnout space is at a premium and most riders don't want their horses in big turnouts anyway because they don't want their horse running  so I would say $400 with the basics supplied is a great deal.

Also most "full board" facilities do 100% of the work, so most owners don't even know what their horses are being fed daily and just trust the barn to manage it. They don't know anything about the day to day care of their horse. Sometimes they are even lucky enough to have their horse's lesson schedule so they know when they can come ride outside of that. But most of them won't ride outside of their scheduled lessons anyway. The trainers in this area seem to prefer keeping their clients timid so they are 100% dependent on them. I know several who have figured out how to have their clients pay them to ride their nice horses daily because the owners are too scared to get on. I know many "accomplished" horse people who don't even know who shoes their horse or where to go to buy grain because the barn has always done it for them.

If you can't tell from my comments I fully believe a lot of trainers and barn owners take advantage of their amateur clients. You can probably move your horse and find a new trainer with minimal effort, as it sounds like you are more prepared to take over care of your horse than many people I know.

I believe in doing nothing for free, because the barn will be happy to charge for every penny. If I had to feed the whole barn while my horse is on "full board" I expect that to be taken off my bill. What would your trainer say if you told the people you trailer that you are going to start charging them for shipping? The trainer might even be charging them for shipping even if you're hauling the horse. If she is upset by this I think you know you're being taken advantage of.


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## Vervain (Sep 14, 2018)

hummingbird said:


> Trainer has been approached by another boarder about this same topic of their horse being used in a lesson without owner's knowledge he had been trailered off, and trainer was VERY nasty and told them they could leave the barn if they wanted. Because the trainer and I have a more personal relationship, when I approached the same topic before I was treated a little bit nicer, but I do think she's got it in her head that she's offering her knowledge and skills, when she had been retired, and we should be thankful for it and let her do what she thinks is best. I forgot to mention that part in my original post.


There are a lot of things going on about your situation that I'd be upset about that everyone else has pretty well covered but I just wanted to point out that this is a HUGE red flag. If the trainer is this nasty to others, she'll be this nasty to you when you aren't giving her what she wants. It's only a matter of time.


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## vonlora (Mar 28, 2011)

I have always boarded and have never seen anything like this. Board covers feed, water, feeding, corral cleaning, corral/ arena,/round pen maintenance, and wash racks. Won't discuss costs because I am in southern California and $300 is average. I have had her used as a camp horse, beginner kids, lots of grooming, walk trot and no jumping. Got $20 hour off my board. Would sometimes fill in for cleaner or feeder, $2 per horse per time. She is giving lessons on your horse and pocketing all of the money. Not sure going home is the right step, horses need company, unless there are other horses near by. But do move before the weather gets nice and he is used so much that he goes lame or a beginner gets hurt.


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## Acadianartist (Apr 21, 2015)

knightrider said:


> This is the first thing I thought of: Where is @Kalraii, who has been in your position, treated similarly, and solved her problem.


Same! This situation sounds so similar to hers.


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## gottaquarter (Jun 8, 2012)

This situation sounds to me like it can only go one way- down. You’re a fairly new owner so I imagine a lot of this is new to you and you’re being very polite; I think the fact that these issues are beginning to make you question how things “work” at this place will gradually (or not so gradually) build up resentment in you, and rightfully so because all your issues are pretty glaring IMO. No one wants to be taken advantage of, so the idea that you are trailering other horses for lessons as well as your own( if I read that right) and cover feeding without any sort of compensation time and time again wouldn’t sit well with me. Like others have said, I do know of places that allow people a discount or free board if their horses are used in lessons, and some people are ok with that. I think that just depends on the person, some don't mind their horse(s) being used and some (like me) would never want to be in that situation. But I’ve had my horses for years, full boarded for a time but when the barn closed down I ended up at a self care place and thats just how it is for me now. We tag team as a small facility if someone ever needs a weekend off, or just a helping hand every now and then. No rules, just our own.

If she blew up at someone for questioning her policies I am guessing you might fall into the enemy camp if you were to become unhappy with the way things are done there, friend or not. She obviously thinks her methods will work for everyone, but the thing is people can decide over time if they are worth sticking around for. Just sounds like you are not going down a road with your horse that will be free and clear of drama. I would start to look elsewhere because im thinking sooner or later you’re going to get your fill of ms. trainers routines and find yourself more and more unhappy. Again, that’s just me. I hate barn drama and luckily where I am there’s no one BO calling the shots and throwing weight around. its rare I think, 5 of us rent a barn on someone’s property who doesn’t live on site. I realize most people if they don’t own their own property have to board; it can feel like a great little family with the right people, even if the owner is around all the time with their own horses.....but it needs to be someplace where you feel respected and treated fairly regardless of your place on the ladder. Too many red flags for me where you are- boarding with others should be fun and ones “happy place”, not somewhere that stresses you out while you adjust and adapt to the rules of one person. With any barn situation, I think after an initial couple of weeks or months, you usually know if it’s a good fit or not, happens all the time, usually due to personality conflicts or not being comfortable for you, your horse, or both. Decide if you can live with the routine there, or look elsewhere If you find you’re getting stressed more than you’re not


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## Avna (Jul 11, 2015)

I just wanted to add that, while doing your research on other barns and making your decision -- DO NOT DISCUSS IT WITH ANYONE CONNECTED TO YOUR CURRENT BARN. 

And when you are ready to leave, before you go, pack up every single thing that you bought and paid for, and do not leave it anywhere the barn owner can get to it. 

I hate to say this, but there are many many sad stories about entitled-feeling and even vengeful barn owners who are fine right up until you stop being an open wallet.


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## gottaquarter (Jun 8, 2012)

I totally agree with all Avna’s points, so true. Keep your plans quiet and try not to let on if you’re considering a move; do keep everything you own as organized as you can and yes, locked in a locker if possible, or someplace only you can get to in case of a (sudden?) move......hopefully this isn’t too unusual as lots of boarding barns have tack areas where lock and key for everything is the norm. Find out what she asks for when moving.....30 day notice? If it’s something you can’t live with be prepared to eat a deposit or months board just so you can get out quickly. Keep calm and mature and just claim your financial situation has changed or some neutral reason that won’t “offend” her/anyone. 
It’s really sad all this sort of stuff enters the picture but sometimes you just never know when a relationship will sour over the pettiest things( and not you being the problem here), and you’ll be prepared for an exit you can live with; maybe I/we are reading too much into your situation and there will be reasons for staying that will help you overlook any issues, but IMO boarding barns can be a hotbed for drama if the people there are not all on the same wavelength. Listen to your inner voice- you will probably be spending a lot of time wherever your horse is so it’s wise to make sure you are happy where you are and not wishing you were somewhere else. Good luck and keep us posted!


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## hummingbird (Feb 6, 2021)

I really appreciate everyone's responses. It's nice to not feel like I'm being an overbearing horse owner or boarder, but I have felt in my gut that we were being used. The trainer is MUCH less direct and mean to me, because we do have a personal relationship first, but I know that that will fade quickly once I'm not giving her what she wants.

With that being said, just wanted to give an update as to where my thought process is right now. I have decided to move my gelding to my property. There are a couple of things that need to be worked out (a fence, for starters) as well as enclosing the (what was once a boat cover, it's a huge covered shelter) that was already on our property to make it a suitable, safe and secure stall. Luckily I have three wonderful buildings on property already that will serve as excellent storage for hay and grain. I'm getting a plan together now for manure removal also. I did see a comment that I did agree with for most cases about it not being ideal for me to bring him to my property - I AM a new horse owner, but have been really hands on in my gelding's care since the start, so I already have a rapport with the vet/emergency vet/farrier. I have learned what to look for as far as Colic is concerned and how to treat basic injuries / abscessed hoofs. Also, I have a trailer. I just need to purchase some tack items and quietly store them at my house. I'm not looking to burn a bridge, and I thank/agree with those who said I need to keep this quiet. I've not (and won't) say a word until we have everything we need in place. The only person that knows as of now is my husband - and all of you haha! We've still got some work to do as far as fencing off the pasture and dividing it so we can rotate, but I think it's doable. My gelding is pastured alone now, but is near other horses. So I'm toying with the idea if he will need a pasture mate (maybe a smaller Pony / retired pasture mate etc.) But I'm not going to worry about that just yet. If we go down that route, I may have to tell the trainer earlier so I can bring the pasture mate to her property to introduce before I just bring my guy home. I don't know - I haven't totally thought that part out yet, as I'm still working on the physical logistics.
_I'm open to any advice on that 

also - edit: it’s 2 acres he will be on, I realize in my first post I said one, but after doing some measuring and surveying the land, he would have right at 2!_

Thanks again for taking the time to reply and giving me advice/opinions. Hope you all had a lovely Monday x


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

If you're looking at someone to just be a pasture mate, maybe you can get in touch with rescues in your area? They usually have some horses that are not rideable, and the price is usually cheap or free. My advice, after owning a fat Pony for three years, would be to look for a horse that you think would have similar feeding needs to your gelding, e.g. if he's an easy keeper get another easy keeper.


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

It is fairly common for barns to use owners horses for their lesson program but it's usually a "fair" trade situation. For example, the owner may only pay half board but can only ride certain days because the other days the horse is in lessons. Sometimes the horse is used for lessons and the owner pays full board but gets one or two free lessons per week. It all depends on the agreement.

From reading what you wrote, I feel like you are being taken advantage of and I personally don't like the idea of him being ridden for back to back lessons. I also think that if they are having you hall to lessons and feeding or cleaning stalls, that's not ok in my opinion. I also don't like the tiny turnout.

I would suggest you start looking at other barns to see what your options are and when you find one - just tell her that you really wanted a place that had a riding arena. Give her 30 day notice and thank her for everything she's done for you. That way no bridges are burned and you can still be friends at work.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Good, get that secure stall in and get your horse out of there. Again, as I said earlier, just say a personal emergency has come up, or a family member wants to ride, or just no reason at all. 

Lots of us keep our horses at home, you will really enjoy it once you get all the kinks worked out.


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## horselovinguy (Oct 1, 2013)

So to address the bringing home...fix the shelter to safe for a horse to occupy, fence a space large enough to get him home and get him home.
I promise you, _you do not need everything done, totally in place to bring the horse home..._
You can make improvements with the animal at your residence as long as a suitable shelter he can have since he sounds to be stalled he needs something.
He needs to be able to get out to move around but does not need an acre to do it in...in fact I would want him to come to a smaller "sacrifice area" first where he is close at hand and contained as he acclimates to his new surroundings.
_*Do Not bring another animal to him at this barn..., don't, don't and again don't.*_

Contrary to what you hear not every horse needs company regardless of "in the wild..." our horses are _not_ wild and needing herd protection anymore. 
You provide protection and food so wandering over acreage is also not have to do, but outside turnout is healthy for a animal is accurate.
Honestly, I have a paddock for my 2 horses they are in now since the pasture is closed to preserve the tiny shoots of grass just this week appeared. 
120'x200' or so is plenty large enough my 2 guys play run, tag, chase and fully self-exercise themselves along with giving me adequate space to ride and exercise them in too...
Look at what size your horse is currently in and see how he copes in that space as guidance in what he deals well with.
Start with a size manageable and expand.
If you don't want the horse to be alone, then get a companion and bring it home_ the day before_ you trailer home your horse...this way no one has deeply established dominance...they learn the place together.
If though you are going to have a companion, put a fence between the horses for a bit if you can as you watch them get to know each other so you don't need the vet, emergency vet or those basic first-aid skills to apply...
But.... your horse may thrive by himself and not need or really want company....
_*My own horse as a kid did not like to "hang-out" with other horses. He was very content alone and in fact when we put him with others he went off by himself and stayed that way by his choice. Truth!*

Go slow with the animal details..._
Concentrate on finishing that shelter for protection your animal should have as he is accustomed to it.
Get some safe horse style fence erected in a size that gets the horse home sooner rather than later and have a plan to finish fencing/cross-fencing the place.
To be very honest, 2 acres sounds like so much land when in actuality it is not for our picky horses when they graze. Cause its green does not mean they will eat it, unless starving...
Of the 2 acres total, you will probably lose 1/2 acre maybe a bit more to he won't eat, so do plan for appropriate food storage and in spring thaw, muddy ground from rains, snow and ice you must have a alternate location to keep the horses for safety of them, saving your grass as hooves easily tear it apart and that size pasture can quickly be overgrazed even when you think you are watching carefully...it happens.
Called a sacrifice area, it is exactly what it is called...sacrificed to preserve, to save the rest.
One mouth will allow you easier control. 2 mouths on that amount of pasture can eat it down a lot faster than many admit to.
I just lost 1/2 my pasture as it was sold and now trying to figure out how to manage what is left and 5 mouths on it, 3 of those mouths are 24/7/365...so never enough rest and regrowth time. I share my pasture and my 2 horses come home daily to their paddock every evening, but the neighbor leaves theirs out all the time.
Plan on hay to feed when you get home, {and always} as you fence the larger expanses...but get your horse home ASAP.
You will know within a week if your horse needs a companion.
Once you have left and are home you can contact the vet and farrier for leads on nice animals with no dangerous/destructive vices and not buried with medical issues...
An animal who just needs re-homing and you'll probably get a second horse for free or nearly free. If the vet/farrier know the animal they probably also know the animal is healthy so sharing a fence instead of isolation status might be able to be done...more things to think about.
As for horse or pony..._get a horse_ so you will not be facing issues that a pony overeating grass is faster to face than a horse does. 
It costs the same to trim by the farrier, vet care of vaccinations/teeth is same...only difference is how much they get fed and occasionally what it is they're fed if older. 
Add to that many ponies are aggressive to horses, but often horses settle down with another horse easier.

Back to....
_Prepare that shelter.
Get yourself a decent sized paddock to safely house the animal in...
Plan your other details to finish making your dreams come to reality._
And...instead of buying in town stores those supplies, consider ordering online the things you can and ship them to your house so you're not seen by as many if you really want to keep this on the quiet.
_*Price shop*_ and do shop local, but maybe the next town away for some of those items like fencing needs.
Tack and barn needed items can be bought easily online and for considerable savings from mark-up in tack shops and specialty stores...
If you need reputable places to buy from, this forum is great sharers of where and what to order from here or their to make the $ go further.
Stores such as Tractor Supply are now known as feed stores. They offer many necessities you can order and do contact-less pickup from too...but shop around as Tractor Supply and Rural King will meet and beat competitors prices = $$ kept in your pocket.
Ask around for a local haymen to supply your needs with quality forage the horse shall need...

That should get you started...and I really meant_ *shelter, fence enough to come home and get him home sooner rather than later.*_
The less who know of your plans the better for your horse who is vulnerable to this trainers nasty mouth and what I bet can be vindictive attitude...hopefully not actions.
Don't worry about what is said when you leave..._talk is cheap_ and this trainers reputation is already known in the community.
_*Mum is the word...*_
You want your horse home as you bought home and property to do this and now is the time...
Go for it....this forum and its members are here to cheer you on, answer your questions and help with the stress level.
That's my opinion on the matter....best of luck!!
🐴...


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