# Should I keep working with my trainer? *Kind of a Rant*



## IquitosARG10 (Aug 27, 2011)

My first thought to you is to get a new trainer for 2 reasons:

1. Your trainer should empower you, and you should feel like you are learning new things and having "ah-hah" moments. They should never put you down (in a disrespectful way)
2. You are paying for her training - if you're not happy and aren't learning anything, it's a waste of money.

Now, there are two sides to every story. Have you talked to her and asked her why she gives you lessons at a beginner level. What does she have you working on? Or what comments does she give you?
It may just be that she saw you be unsuccessful on a different horse and she feels she wants to cover new things since you are a new student.
I've ridden with a few different trainers and the good ones always send me back to basics when I start with them - just little things to tweak and simple exercises to help perfect it!

My advice would be to take her aside and just be honest with her. Tell you her your goals for both you and your horse and work together as a team.

Don't get too caught up in not wanting someone else to train your horse. I feel the same way though, so what I do is put all the rides on my horse and my trainer only interjects when she can get the job done more effectively. Even though it makes you proud to say that you were the one who trained your horse, the most important thing is for the horse to get a clear and precise cue of what you're asking.

So like I said, just start with being honest - if you don't like her attitude or she disagrees with you then I think your best bet would be to find a new trainer who is more on your wavelength. 

Once you find that good trainer, which is sounds like you've had once before, I think that you'll know instantly. Not every trainer is a good fit for every student and horse!

Good luck and keep me posted!


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

A friend was used to her own horses, used mainly for trail riding. They behaved well but friend got talked into attending a clinic. Her trailer had a bo-bo so she couldn't take one of her own. At the clinic she was offered a horse. Unfortunately the clinician took it upon herself to berate friend, that her skills were so poor that she had no business riding. Friend came home devastated, not only about the how she'd been spoken to but she had now felt too inadequate a rider to even get on her own horses. and had been considering selling them. I learned of this thro someone else a few months later so I called and asked if we could go for a trail ride. She told me what had happened. On the ride she kept asking me what she was doing wrong. Nothing. She did nothing wrong. Her horses forgive her little mistakes and that's all that matters.


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## trailhorserider (Oct 13, 2009)

Saddlebag said:


> A friend was used to her own horses, used mainly for trail riding. They behaved well but friend got talked into attending a clinic. Her trailer had a bo-bo so she couldn't take one of her own. At the clinic she was offered a horse. Unfortunately the clinician took it upon herself to berate friend, that her skills were so poor that she had no business riding. Friend came home devastated, not only about the how she'd been spoken to but she had now felt too inadequate a rider to even get on her own horses. and had been considering selling them. I learned of this thro someone else a few months later so I called and asked if we could go for a trail ride. She told me what had happened. On the ride she kept asking me what she was doing wrong. Nothing. She did nothing wrong. Her horses forgive her little mistakes and that's all that matters.


Something like that would be really devastating for someone like me, who is sensitive to criticism. I was starting to think me and my horse really sucked until I attended a clinic and had the opposite response, the trainer actually liked my horse and thought we had potential to do well. That actually changed my whole attitude for the better. It is important to have someone that builds your confidence and doesn't leave you feeling like you are failing all the time.


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## sarahfromsc (Sep 22, 2013)

This post will come across as a mother talking to her child, because, A) I'm 53 and you are 15; and, B) I am a mother of a 23 year old and a 20 year old. Please take that into consideration while reading.

Most trainers will take a new student back to the beginning to get a feel for what the student knows and the student's horse knows. As you become older you will realize a lot of people tend to exaggerate their abilities and their horse's training. 

Think of the stepping back this way: it is very much like going back to school after the summer off. Your new teachers in the fall rehash what was learned the previous year to see what was really learned and/or retained. The first three weeks of a new school year is just rehashing old stuff. 

Could be what the new trainer is doing. Testing you to see what you say you know vs. what you really know.

There are two other things that resonated with me in your post. The first being you stated the first time the new trainer saw you ride you were on a horse that hadn't been ridden for 7 months; therefore, you were a 'little off'. A good solid rider could have ridden the same horse and an observer would never know the horse had not been ridden in months. I can willingly admit I am not one of those. An observer would know I was on a new horse to me that hadn't been ridden in several months. That is why I can say what I just said with truth.

In other words the new trainer saw something, or didn't see something, and made an assessment.

The other statement in your post was you know all your horse's bucks, cowhops, and rears. I'm reaching here and doing a lot of assuming, but I am guessing the horse still bucks, cowhops and rears. It this is indeed fact, the horse and you are not _even_ ready for a trail class in a local schooling show let alone a XC course.

I won't even go on a simple trail ride with a horse rider combo where bucks, cowhops and rears involved. And that is because, I too, have put a LOT of time into training, riding, working my horse and I will not chance screwing that all up because someone can not control their horse.

I would have a an honest chat with the new trainer and ask her what SHE sees in your riding and what she sees in your horse's ability.

I would talk to her about your goals and what you want to accomplish with your horse.

With that said, if she is vague with her answers, and is truly being rude, obnoxious, condescending, and cruel to you during your lessons, leave and don't look back.


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## Hang on Fi (Sep 22, 2007)

Saddlebag said:


> A friend was used to her own horses, used mainly for trail riding. They behaved well but friend got talked into attending a clinic. Her trailer had a bo-bo so she couldn't take one of her own. At the clinic she was offered a horse. Unfortunately the clinician took it upon herself to berate friend, that her skills were so poor that she had no business riding. Friend came home devastated, not only about the how she'd been spoken to but she had now felt too inadequate a rider to even get on her own horses. and had been considering selling them. I learned of this thro someone else a few months later so I called and asked if we could go for a trail ride. She told me what had happened. On the ride she kept asking me what she was doing wrong. Nothing. She did nothing wrong. Her horses forgive her little mistakes and that's all that matters.


Reminds me of a "trainer" I had taken lessons with years ago. I was afraid to canter corners on my QH mare. She was a short neck chunky borderline pony and I just didn't feel balanced on her to canter corners. 

My trainer demanded I got off my horse. She got on her and cantered the corners showing me how "silly" I was being. 

Got back on her and I still refused to canter the corners (I was genuinely afraid she was going to slip and fall). 

The trainer then got nasty with me: "If you can't canter corners then you need to find a new sport! Clearly this isn't your thing!" I was like 10. I asked to go get a drink of water in tears, my parents loaded my horse up and we left. Never went back. 

There are jerks in the trainer world, even if they don't deserve that title, without a doubt...


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## Gossalyn (Sep 12, 2013)

Another thought too is that some trainers are more conservative when it comes to safety. I lessoned with a girl who was upset she wasn't getting to jump. She left my barn, and when i visited her at her new one.. I saw her doing gymnastics (3 2ft jumps in a row) with a big smile on her face. She hasn't been riding that long.

If I were her - I would have stuck it out w/ the more conservative trainer. but I'm very big on practicing this risky hobby in the least risky way possible (aka going slow and really hammering in basics/foundation). and she was willing to accept more risk to do bigger things sooner. Neither is right/wrong - it's all a personal decision. 

Generally speaking good trainers who have been around & seen some bad things happen tend to be more conservative, but you never know.

My trainer (whose conservative about progression) says things to me like "you're not ready for x" in a stern parent kind of way. I love trying to live up to her standards because if I meet them - I rule. And I do get those moments too where I finally meet her standards and feel like I've accomplished a lot. I also know that when she DOES say I'm ready for something, I'm truly ready. Oh, and I've been riding for a year before I went to her - and when I started, we had a lesson on turning. TURNING... how much more back to the beginning can you get?? but you know what, I humble and I was better for it.

but for my friend, it was oil and water.

I don't know if this is your new trainer.. and I know most trainers I know would be very cautious about training an OTTB and go slow - because it can be dangerous. rearing is dangerous. and yes.. she may look at you and think you're a 15 year old and she doesn't want to see you hurt.. so she's playing it a little more cautious even still, even if that isn't exactly fair.

If I were you I might wait until your horse is rideable again. There's no rule saying you have to stay with this trainer if you don't like her. But maybe take the approach of proving her wrong. Although - I do feel like trainers should empower you. You have to love your trainer. So work hard, take the easy stuff as a refresher (we can all perfect our trots, turns, halts etc. etc. a riders work is never done!), give it some time.. and if it doesn't come around.. yeah, I would move on.


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