# Saying Goodbye



## Drifting

I followed your mares illness thread and am sorry it came to this, but you did the best you could for her and let her go with dignity. I'm sorry for your loss


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## tinyliny

I am so sorry to hear that ou didn't get the miracle you prayed for. But, then again , maybe you did , for 12 years.


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## DuffyDuck

I'm crying after reading this.

I wish I could offer you a shoulder to cry on, because I'd be there.

You can always be safe in the knowledge that she had everything done for her, and you were there to help ease her suffering at the end.

My thoughts are with you.


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## Cacowgirl

My tears are dripping on the keyboard-your love of this fine mare comes through in every word. You truly were blessed to have her in your life.


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## Incitatus32

Thanks guys I really appreciate the support. 

Tiny, you're 100% right. I think the miracle was the fact that I grew up with a horse who was perfect for my family in every way. (Well maybe except for showing, she was awful at that! :lol


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## zookeeper1991

I am so sorry for your loss!


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## ShadowRider

I read your other thread and was hoping with all my heart your girl would get better. I am so sorry for your loss - your story made me cry. You loved that mare with all your heart, and she will be with you forever. And one day, she will greet you again with her 'stupid nicker.'


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## NorthernMama

I'm sorry for your loss. It's good to hear that you are positive about the years of enjoyment you shared. Hugs.


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## Incitatus32

Thanks guys I really appreciate it. 

Northern I am staying positive. I was out at the barn tonight and spending some time with the colt (teaching basic manners at my BO's request) and I know that I did the right thing for her. I know it hasn't been long (god it really hasn't even though it feels like forever!) but I do feel that in the end I'll most likely take on the colt. 

For whatever reason I was thinking long and hard about my next horse and how hard it would be to find one that I just knew was supposed to be part of my life in some way. Of course I was looking at the colt and for some reason it hit me again. I watched him be born, I helped him come into this world and when he we put him in with my mare while his mom recovered (he didn't have a smooth entry we thought we lost him twice). He stayed with his mom and my mare until he was weaned. When we were teaching him how to be lead he decided to be a brat and.... well.... he sat down on my hand and got my hand up someplace that wasn't pleasant. We both just sat there and looked at each other and when we finally recovered I had the same feeling that I had with my girl when I first looked at her years ago (she was still alive at this point in time) and told my boss that he'd be a horse to be proud of. Also my mare had this.... endearing trait that she passed on to all the foals she fostered. Every time she got ****ed off she would squeal like a pig with her ears flat against her head. Didn't matter what foal she babysat but none were biologically related all of them gained the same mannerism. We thought we'd broken the cycle with this guy as he'd been quiet as a mouse until I told him to stand while a mare walked by and he let out that scream. Some of her little quirks she's passed on to him and it makes me feel better to know that there's hope that the next generation of horses will have at least a few that are cantankerous like her! I know that somehow he's supposed to be a part of my life, not ever hold as big a part as she played but I know that he has a role to play. Life has a funny way of working itself out that way. 

Today my boss told me she got offered $2700 for him in cash and I made a promise to myself (being a non believer in fate or destiny) I said "If he's gone that means that he's not supposed to be in my life and I was just being a Freudian about it all, but if she keeps him and her offer still stands I'll accept that for whatever reason he's supposed to play some role in my life." she called to tell me that she told the people to go away and that he'd already been sold. 

For me I'll always miss her. There'll never be another horse in her league again for me. But I'm content with how she went, how she lived and all the times we had together. And for whatever reason I'm finding a lot of comfort in the possibility on finishing what she started with this colt. Because my mare taught me what to be proud of in a horse and she set my standards for any equine that comes into my care. 

I told my mom (who's just as upset as I am) that I'd wait for her blessing to get my next horse. And I told her that I'd respect however long it took her and that I didn't expect her not to miss my girl, or love any other horse as much. I want her to love/hate it for what it is.


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## DuffyDuck

You have all that love inside of you for a horse, it seems only right to help ease your suffering with this colt.

He will never be your mare, but he will help you remember her in all the best possible ways. You BO knew this when she called the buyers. You have some fantastic people in your life, and I'm glad to hear it.

Every horse is different, and will have their own league. I made the mistake of buying Duffy (as much as I adored her) because she looked and was bred like my old boy. She had my heart (and still does) in a completely different way to my old horse. When I got Dubai, it was like a huge missing chunk was filled in my horse life. After the way things turned out, I am glad I stuck with my decision to give him to my old trainer, and not chase the dealer for money or sell him. He was my heart horse, and she was yours.

She taught you everything.. every bump, fall and happy, lightbulb moment.. and now you can use everything you've learned to teach this little colt.


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## darkpony

OP-I can't even imagine! I am so sorry for your loss. Its sounds like you had many great times with your girl. I am glad to see you are looking at the positive side of things. I hope that while this colt will never replace the one you lost, he will help mend and fill your heart back up! Thinking of you and your family!!


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## SueC

Hey again Inci, I totally get how you feel, as you know. I got my mare at age 11 when she was a yearling and we had 31 years, including 25 of riding, which was just mutual telepathy. We taught each other so much, and grew up together, and lived for decades in the same world. It's hard when you are then suddenly in a world without that horse, like the moon has been taken from the sky, but so personal. I'm still riding the shockwaves and trying to figure out how to live without her. Her hoofprints have disappeared from the earth but not from my heart.

Please post some photos of your girl for us when you get a chance... and of the colt. God bless.


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## Incitatus32

I don't have a lot of photos (as I'm in the process of moving computers, going to school, working and just everything lol) but I've got this one from my phone.

http://www.horseforum.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=416026&stc=1&d=1397746065

She was ground tied while I was riding a horse for someone (the horse was having a bolting issue and it was spur of the moment for me to get on.) There was a stud a field or so over and she stood there like her usual old self. She gave a riding lesson after this too. 

I know her feet might look a little long, I dunno if it's the picture or what but the farrier was coming out the next day or day after to check them on our horses, unfortunately she got sick so her feet went on the back burner. 

As for pictures of the colt I'm going to wait till I make a decision, only for the fact that I don't want to go posting pictures of someone else's horse!  But I definitely will get some up either right before I take him (to get people's opinion on his conformation/build) or when he starts boot camp with me :lol:


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## Incitatus32

SueC since the odds are looking to be in this guy's favor (because he was seriously a good boy during his boot camp today!) here's a pic:

Cooper picture 1.jpg

He's still a yearling but I'm hoping to get some conformation shots and see what people think at this stage in the game. I'm not usually a fan for Morgans (which is hilarious because I work with them) but I like him and his sire (and granddam and grandsire and great grandsire lol let's just include the whole family in this one :lol I'm amazed at how trainable he is already though. I just worked with him two days ago on no nipping and he's still that way even though no one's touched him! :shock:


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## evenworld

Sad sad sad sad .......


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