# my bombproof children's mount takes off at a canter... with a child.



## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

today was the worst day to date.

as you might know, i have a 21 year old Quarter Horse Arabian, Katy, that is the definition of a bombproof youth horse. well she was.... every summer i send her to the YMCA Tippancanoe Horse camp to be used as a camp horse for small children. every year for the last 6 years. she is one of the favorites out there for the kids. she is a chubby 14'2 chestnut mare that was once, and still sometimes is, my barrel horse. she has made a great transition from a 3D barrel racer to a youth mount. well i have a 4 year and a 8 year old cousin that ride her while i ride my green broke paint mare. we do this all the time. i ride this mare bareback pretty frequently to keep her in good shape since the kids don't really wanna ride her the way she should be rode. but i try not to let her out at a canter very often so as to not get her hot again, like she was for our gaming career. 

so here is what happened today...

my 8yo cousin was a bit tired from soccer so i took my 4 yo cousin out on katy by herself. we rode like this before, and had been riding for about 10 mins prior to this incident. my paint mare i was riding is a bit of a fast walker, and katy tip toes when she is being rode by a child, so we are always in front. i can't pony them together because Katie hates her, and is very aggressive with other mares. well we were on the road, and came by a field that was on our left. she was just a bit behind me so there wasn't a big gap between us. well all of a sudden i hear my cousin screaming, katy is doing an uncollected trot with her and at this point she has dropped the reins and is hunched over holding onto the horn. i immediately start screaming for her to pull the reins back because katie has an amazing sliding stop, but my cousin believes she is "running" at this point (she usually does a "parade" trot, so her fast choppy trot is quite different for her) and is doing nothing but screaming. well i get off my horse and attempt to catch katy, at this point she does a mean barrel turn away from me and starts a canter down the bank and picks up speed through the field, this is a big field. my cousin is screaming and crying and holding onto the horn for dear life and all i can do is scream and run after this horse. i am off of my horse, i knew the best thing woulda been for me to get back on her and gallop towards her and katy to catch up, but my mind was a blur. my cousin made if for atleast 45 secs of a canter across this field but when katy did a sliding stop at a lush patch of grass, my cousin toppled over... and hard, right on her shoulder and flipped. i literally broke down thinking my cousin had broke her neck or something. but she was fine. she had a helmet on, and a child's chest protector. this was the scariest moment of my life, and something i can NOT understand why it happened. 

this is a youth mount horse prodigy. why would she do this? how can i send her back to the camp knowing she can really just snap like that? this is literally been tearing me up all day, that all this credit of being such a fabulous youth mount of a horse that i built up is gone. my cousin is terrified of horses, she broke this little girl's spirit and hopefully one day, but not for a long time this little girl can go back to loving horses and being beyond brave again... i have ruined her, today at dinner she said to me as i was explaining what had happened to her father "you lied to me, you said she was good and i wouldn't get hurt" .... how can i convince this girl that she can trust me, ever trust horses again? i tried to get her right back on either of the horses, being lead home. she cried harder at the thought...


i am at a loss for words, and sooo disappointed.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

I'm so sorry that happened.. something must have been off for her to react like that. The best thing to do is give your cousin space, try not to feel bad, and over time gently introduce her to horses again. 

Horses can never be bombproof.. they can be brave by looking to their herd leader (you) for security and have minimal reactions.. but they can never be so secure in the world that nothing ever startles them. 

Poor you though!! Watching that happen to someone you love and feeling like you couldn't do anything about it. I suggest you take it easy for awhile, ride your horses, spend time with them, hang with friends, take a nice bath. 

I know your cousin's screaming is a just (a fair) reaction, but it probably didn't help your mare.. she was probably just as scared =/ 

I hope all three of you, your mare yourself and your cousin, feel better soon. Big hugs


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

Skyseternalangel said:


> I'm so sorry that happened.. something must have been off for her to react like that. The best thing to do is give your cousin space, try not to feel bad, and over time gently introduce her to horses again.
> 
> Horses can never be bombproof.. they can be brave by looking to their herd leader (you) for security and have minimal reactions.. but they can never be so secure in the world that nothing ever startles them.
> 
> ...



thank you, sooo much. it is hard though, to be sooo powerless in such a dangerous situation. idk what could of been off, i strongly believe she just wanted to get the lush pasture, but why she had to run the stretch of it idk. it just dissapointed me beyond my belief, i kept my cool enough to not just beat the **** outta her right then and there, i just took her home and did circles with her for 25 mins and had her EXTREMELY in touch with what i was asking of her, ears completely in tune to me and listening to every word. she is also no longer allowed to graze with the bit in her mouth, that is another thing i am making completely unacceptable.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

allisonjoy said:


> thank you, sooo much. it is hard though, to be sooo powerless in such a dangerous situation. idk what could of been off, i strongly believe she just wanted to get the lush pasture, but why she had to run the stretch of it idk. it just dissapointed me beyond my belief, i kept my cool enough to not just beat the **** outta her right then and there, i just took her home and did circles with her for 25 mins and had her EXTREMELY in touch with what i was asking of her, ears completely in tune to me and listening to every word. she is also no longer allowed to graze with the bit in her mouth, that is another thing i am making completely unacceptable.


A very good plan!

Oh I've been there.. I used to work at a therapeutic riding center and sometimes we'd let the kids ride their own by themselves if we felt they were capable. Well a few times the horses decided to do something freaky and despite how fast you run or how loud you scream, it just doesn't help them at all.. a few times though, I got very good about diving to catch falling kids and got really good about stopping bad behavior in its tracks.
They weren't bad horses.. just horses. 

I'm glad you didn't lose your cool with her, and put her mind to work! Your cousin will come around, no worries =)


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## Northern (Mar 26, 2010)

You shouldn't even have considered "losing your cool" with her: she was just being a horse, her own unique horse self. In her mind, she was NOT being "bad", thus not deserving of extra work or of course, beatings. 

Once you understand this, you see that there truly is no reason to be surprised and/or upset at the horse who doesn't babysit kids. Plus, a horse who is a known babysitter for years may suddenly decide that her desire for a patch of grass out yonder is what she needs to listen to more than a gunsel kid on her back. So, the poster who said that there really ARE no bomb-proof horses is 100% right.

Inside every wild horse is a tame horse, & inside every tame [bomb-proof/kid-safe] horse is a wild one.

--Pat Parelli


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## RiddlesDarkAngel5 (Jun 2, 2009)

She might have been stung by something. I was once bucked off by a solid trail horse bc abee stung him on the leg. And that sort of thing can freak even the most solid horse. Doesshe have any bumps on her? Could be worth looking into. 
In any case im glad everone is ok


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

allisonjoy said:


> today was the worst day to date.
> 
> as you might know, i have a 21 year old Quarter Horse Arabian, Katy, that is the definition of a bombproof youth horse. well she was.... every summer i send her to the YMCA Tippancanoe Horse camp to be used as a camp horse for small children. every year for the last 6 years. she is one of the favorites out there for the kids. she is a chubby 14'2 chestnut mare that was once, and still sometimes is, my barrel horse. she has made a great transition from a 3D barrel racer to a youth mount. well i have a 4 year and a 8 year old cousin that ride her while i ride my green broke paint mare. we do this all the time. i ride this mare bareback pretty frequently to keep her in good shape since the kids don't really wanna ride her the way she should be rode. but i try not to let her out at a canter very often so as to not get her hot again, like she was for our gaming career.
> 
> ...


 The horse did not snap. Maybe the horse was told to go faster and did as it thought it should. A kid screaming on a horse would make any horse run and you also screaming ads to the confusion. You chasing after it on another horse would make it run faster. I would not take a 4 yr old out on an open trail. Only would I take them with a few experienced ridders so the child would be sandwiched in or an arena or more of an enclosed trail and definatley not an open field. I do not think the horse did anything wrong given the circumstance you subjected it to.


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## bubba13 (Jan 6, 2007)

Absolutely a four-year-old should not be an a horse, in the open, untethered and unsupervised. Any horse, any time. Should be leadline or small arena only on a half-dead pony. That's too small and too young. Sounds like she asked the horse to trot, freaked out, threw the reins, and the horse did exactly what she was trained to do--run.


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

i understand everyone's concern. and i never mentioned beating my horse? so where you got that Northern i have no idea. and 25 mins of making sure the horse was in tune to what i was asking to to do, by engaging her mind in different maneuvers isn't a bad thing. i understand that no horse is bombproof, and maybe i was wrong for allowing her to carry the 4yo, but really i trusted her that much. and no, i do not blame the horse nor did i punish it. but am just disappointed in my expectations of her and what i had always been able to do. and after seeing a child i care dearly for being flung upon her head, yes northern i considered it, but in no means partook in. and this circumstance isn't one that she hadn't done before successfully so i didn't see the flaws initially. and my cousin would not of told her to go faster. for katy that involves reins being held higher on the neck, and leg pressure, along with a verbal cue. something i have perfected in the last 7 years of my ownership.

and most insects are dead this time of year, but yes i checked all equipment on her, and her body for signs of anything wrong post incident. and they always get a once over before any ride.


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

might i say the horse ran in the direction of home, but stopped at a lush piece of pasture.

i understand now that i was wrong, thank you for all of you telling me so, but what's done is done. and i can only move forward from the present. so thanks for pointing out my errors, but really my main concern is how to rehabilitate the child and if you believe my horse would be a liability if sent to the camp again.


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

churumbeque said:


> The horse did not snap. Maybe the horse was told to go faster and did as it thought it should. A kid screaming on a horse would make any horse run and you also screaming ads to the confusion. You chasing after it on another horse would make it run faster.



if you could please read my OP again because i had gotten off of my horse at was running after her myself. and again, this child would not have done that. but thank you for conducting a scenario.


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## bubba13 (Jan 6, 2007)

If the camp is highly supervised in a safe environment, no, I don't see a problem.

Let the kid come out and visit the horses, pet the horses, feed the horses, then reintroduce lead-lining when she is up to it.


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## paintedpastures (Jun 21, 2011)

churumbeque said:


> The horse did not snap. Maybe the horse was told to go faster and did as it thought it should. A kid screaming on a horse would make any horse run and you also screaming ads to the confusion. You chasing after it on another horse would make it run faster. I would not take a 4 yr old out on an open trail. Only would I take them with a few experienced ridders so the child would be sandwiched in or an arena or more of an enclosed trail and definatley not an open field. I do not think the horse did anything wrong given the circumstance you subjected it to.


I totally agree with this I had the same feelings after reading this thread. A 4 yr old out of the confines of an arena,riding on their own:shock: I'm sorry but however bombproof you think a horse may be things can happen,horses spook,kids send the wrong message to horse etc. 
I don't know of anyone that lets a child that young fend for themselves on a horse.An adult should be right beside them supervising particularity if they are riding solo with the reins & not being lead by someone.:-|:-(


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## AmazinCaucasian (Dec 10, 2010)

I agree Bubba. I usually don't post on threads like these, but I have to speak up too. 

Allison, sorry to hear about that bad deal. I'm sure it was traumatic for everybody. But a 4 year old just doesn't need to be riding outside an arena. Especially a child with little experience. I say little experience because:
1. She's 4
2. She grabs the horn and screams when a horse trots

I'd be nervous even letting her ride in an arena much bigger than a round pen. And if I was ponying them I would be on a BROKE gelding


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

paintedpastures said:


> I totally agree with this I had the same feelings after reading this thread. A 4 yr old out of the confines of an arena,riding on their own:shock: I'm sorry but however bombproof you think a horse may be things can happen,horses spook,kids send the wrong message to horse etc.
> I don't know of anyone that lets a child that young fend for themselves on a horse.An adult should be right beside them supervising particularity if they are riding solo with the reins & not being lead by someone.:-|:-(


yes i understand that NOW. so screw my sense of judgement, and how incredibly awful it is. i experienced the proof firsthand, so if we could move past my horrible horsemanship that would be just great. side by side is how we were, but the difference in strides and dispositions changes the set up time to time and this was in the off moment.

I REALIZE MY MISTAKE. THE PATH WE WERE TAKING IS ENCLOSED, ONLY SINCE THE CROPS WERE HARVESTED NOW THERE IS AN OPEN FIELD. SO MY BAD YES, BUT ENOUGH THOUGHT WAS NOT PUT IN. GOTCHA..


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

AmazinCaucasian said:


> I agree Bubba. I usually don't post on threads like these, but I have to speak up too.
> 
> Allison, sorry to hear about that bad deal. I'm sure it was traumatic for everybody. But a 4 year old just doesn't need to be riding outside an arena. Especially a child with little experience. I say little experience because:
> 1. She's 4
> ...


*** okay well i'm sure you have experienced a horse that does incredibly choppy fast trots as apposed to the calm collected ones. the offset of what she was used to startled her. i obviously made the mistake, its over with. the child likes to get out the arena from time to time and today i found it suitable.


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## Cat (Jul 26, 2008)

allisonjoy said:


> this is a youth mount horse prodigy. why would she do this? how can i send her back to the camp knowing she can really just snap like that? this is literally been tearing me up all day, that all this credit of being such a fabulous youth mount of a horse that i built up is gone.



Why would she do that? Because she is a horse. You seem to be blaming the horse - its not at fault here and would probably do just fine with a child a couple years older. Send her back to the camp - she has already proven she can handle it.


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## With Grace (Oct 20, 2011)

That must have been really scary - thank goodness you had her in a helmet and chest protector!


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## CLaPorte432 (Jan 3, 2012)

My horse Jasper is a good kids horse. But accidents happen and the rein dropped to the ground while my niece was riding him. He stepped on it and it hurt his mouth, he instantly jerked his head up and backed up very quickly thus scaring my niece. 

She was 4? at the time and started crying and wanting to get down. I let her down and we led Jasper around a little bit. And I explained to her what happened. How it hurt his mouth and I made up some story about how Jasper was probably scared that it'd happen again and he needed to be shown that it wasn't going to happen. So instead of her being scared of him, I played it out like he was scared of her.

It took about 20 minutes of convincing but eventually I get her back on him. And to this day, every time she's over, she's begging to go riding.

For a 4 year old, this could be a pretty traumatic experience. But, if she's ever going to get over it, she's going to have to get back on a horse. If I didn't convince my niece to willing get back on, I was going to end up throwing her up on him and make her do it. That may seem mean but she was in no danger since I was right there and the horse actually did nothing wrong.

Is there another horse that you can lead around with her being on? Maybe by switching horses, she'll be okay.


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

thank you for making a bunch of excuses and scenarios for the horse and the situation, and correcting my bad judgement time and time again. but if we could please provide some constructive approaches to the FUTURE, instead of the criticization of my previous faults that would be more than appreciated. thanks.

further elaborations on how big of a stupid person i am, while are believed to be constructive in repition on here are great and all, i would like to focus on how to rehabilitate the child and attempt to bring the horse back into her life correctly.


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

CLaPorte432 said:


> My horse Jasper is a good kids horse. But accidents happen and the rein dropped to the ground while my niece was riding him. He stepped on it and it hurt his mouth, he instantly jerked his head up and backed up very quickly thus scaring my niece.
> 
> She was 4? at the time and started crying and wanting to get down. I let her down and we led Jasper around a little bit. And I explained to her what happened. How it hurt his mouth and I made up some story about how Jasper was probably scared that it'd happen again and he needed to be shown that it wasn't going to happen. So instead of her being scared of him, I played it out like he was scared of her.
> 
> ...


THANKS FOR SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE AND POSITIVE!!!

and to be lead around i can use my paint mare. i did make her, even though she was extremely unwilling to cooperate, ride on my paint with me back up to the house. i think another horse might make her feel better, thanks so much. this is good advice and helped me get back in good spirits with your positive attitude


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

I don't think anyone was calling you stupid but rather pointing out a moment of oor judgement. A four year old, as everyone has said is just to little be on a horse alone, even if she had known what to do, her size and strength is just to tiny to control a horse or even a pony for that matter.

You obviously were using your head or you would not have used a helmet and vest. As for your reaction in that incident, it's not something you can plan for. I would chalk this up under lessons learned and move forward.

you probably will want to get her back on a horse soon though (lead her around or even just let her sit on it) so that she doesn't carry any fears with her.

As for her blaming you, that's normal. She's 4....


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

It sometimes feels like a "pigpile" of critisism, OP, but it's the time delay of the forum that will often have persons seem to continue to point out your errors, when you yourself have admitted such and ask to move on.

So, you are asking can anything be done or changed, from now on, to assure that this horse is safe for it's upcoiming job at the summer camp, right?


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## Ladytrails (Jul 28, 2010)

I haven't had this scenario, but I think this is what I would do to help the little girl relax for her next ride (edited to add - just saw that you already got her back on the paint -- good for you AND her!) Next time the little girl visits, I would ask her to pretend she's a horse. Then I'd tickle her - she'll jump away. I would tell her that's what the mare did...and then she felt the reins were loose and decided to go home and/or got scared with the screaming. I would mount the child on the mare again, if she will, or on another experienced horse if she is still afraid of the mare. You should be leading the horse in an enclosed arena. You could practice walk-trot; stops, turns, emergency one rein stops, etc. I would construct the lesson so that the girl 'calls the shots' and you are giving her positive feedback whenever she has the horse turn or stop on command. 

This is how we start our little guests on our mares....at the end of the lessons they're trotting, but we're right there at the end of the lead rope (long or short distance, depending on the size and age and confidence of the child). 

Good luck -


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## AmazinCaucasian (Dec 10, 2010)

allisonjoy said:


> thank you for making a bunch of excuses and scenarios for the horse and the situation, and correcting my bad judgement time and time again. but if we could please provide some constructive approaches to the FUTURE, instead of the criticization of my previous faults that would be more than appreciated. thanks.
> 
> further elaborations on how big of a stupid person i am, while are believed to be constructive in repition on here are great and all, i would like to focus on how to rehabilitate the child and attempt to bring the horse back into her life correctly.


We tried. But how nice do we have to be? From a daddy's perspective, it's aggravating that you put a little girl in danger. It's even more aggravating that you argue about it. Don't let a 4 year old that can't ride get on a horse outside a confined area. Many folks with experience are giving you good advice.


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

AmazinCaucasian said:


> We tried. But how nice do we have to be? From a daddy's perspective, it's aggravating that you put a little girl in danger. It's even more aggravating that you argue about it. Don't let a 4 year old that can't ride get on a horse outside a confined area. Many folks with experience are giving you good advice.


and that advice is appreciated. i attempted to say that in the nicest way possible as to not cause a reaction like this. and how am i arguing? i admiting my faults, and trying to move on. sorry i am "arguing". and if you mean to say that by further elaborating on the situation at hand, providing more detail, is what you consider arguing then please refrain from reading my "argumental" statements.


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## Cat (Jul 26, 2008)

We are not making excuses for the horse - just being realistic. You also asked how you could still send her on to camp and it seems several of us answered that in the fact the horse will probably be just find under different circumstances. 

Good luck getting the girl interested in horses again.


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

tinyliny said:


> It sometimes feels like a "pigpile" of critisism, OP, but it's the time delay of the forum that will often have persons seem to continue to point out your errors, when you yourself have admitted such and ask to move on.
> 
> So, you are asking can anything be done or changed, from now on, to assure that this horse is safe for it's upcoiming job at the summer camp, right?


yes ma'am that is right  and thank you, i am attempting to take it all in without getting ****y about it, but thank you for the explaination as to why it might be happening  but yes this exact question is what i am asking!!!!


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

My husband and I were lead lining our daughter on her pony when she spooked. The mare was actually grazing, kid had properly fitted tack/protective gear and is 6 and can ride very well and we had her on a short line. Both of us standing on either side of Rosie! Rosie is between 16-20 and I consider her to be dead broke. When she spooked she spun to see "something", reared up, spun and hopped a bit, I felt awful because learned instinct had me step away from her hindquarters, my husband kept the pony calmish but... my daughter hung on well, even held the split reins and kept her seat... Until Rosie stopped, the momentum sent her slipping off gently to the ground. So the moral is accidents happen, but I also know my daughter is not psychically strong enough to control a horse.

Well she cried as little girls do, and wouldn't get back on. Which I didn't force her to do. We went back to feeding and caring for the horses, grooming, then sitting on them while I held her leg, and now she has her new horse cowboy that we are still doing lead line rides on. So just take it slow, kids forget pretty quick! And if she has the "bug" she'll be begging for rides soon.

As for your mare, send her on to camp! EVERY HORSE CAN HAVE A MOMENT, EVERY SINGLE ONE. Maybe suggest her to be ridden by older children who can clearly signal a whoa, I'm sure she'll be fine! 
Hang in there, glad she's fine, take a deep breath, we all skrew up.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kait18 (Oct 11, 2011)

i am going thru helping my nephew from a bad experience of us being attacked by a dog on horse. its not like falling but he is scared none the less. he is only 4 as well. we are taking it slow lots of grooming and walking on the ground next to horse. after about two weeks of this he says he is ready to try again in the saddle. so we are gonna do some walks with me leading..  it takes time, i found lots of carrots and apples help get them used to being near eachother but then working from there. also helps if the horse is nippy from all the treats lol goodluck just take it slow


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I think you are blaming the horse out of frustration with yourself. At the very least, you should have had a lead line on that horse and you shouldn't have been in an open area. 

For how to get the kid used to horses again, grooming, feeding, petting and then put her on a horse with you on the same horse. When she is ready to ride alone again, lead her with you on the ground.


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## SueNH (Nov 7, 2011)

A 4 year old doesn't have near enough strenghth or motor skills to be riding off lead in the open.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hidalgo13 (Dec 24, 2010)

While agree it wasn't quite, responsible?... to put a 4 year old on a horse all alone in the open, I won't burden you with any more reproaching. :wink: You learned your lesson and EVERYONE does stupid things. Not necessarily in that category, but we're human and sometimes are brains are not always screwed on properly. :-| It's good she had a vest and helmet though, shows you're not bonkers. :wink:

Now for the horse, I think she should be find to be used again by the camp. Especially if it is mostly for ponying or in an arena. If you really want to put your mind at rest, maybe try to "desensitize" her. She should be pretty good with every noise or scary object, so it should assure you that she is good for the camp, or you might fall on an object she IS scared of, but you will have bomb-proofed her even further. 


For your niece, the best I'd say is to make it all a story. Tell her you found out why the horse did that. That he wasn't being bad at all, and didn't want to hurt her (tell her horses are never purposely mean), that he got surprised by something (find a plausible excuse) and continue on to explain that the horse was surprised and because she was screaming, he didn't understand, so maybe he thought he had to run. (etc, etc, invent) Take it easy with her. Maybe a few weeks or days later, you tell her that the horses are starving because it's lunch time and need help feeding, could she possibly help? They'd be so grateful! 

If she says no, it's ok. But go on gradually with her. Just like Kait18 and her nephew.  I wish you luck.


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## Hidalgo13 (Dec 24, 2010)

> A 4 year old doesn't have near enough strenghth or motor skills to be riding off lead in the open.


Well, she clearly understands that now...:-|


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

It's one of those things that happens. You can analyse it to death and never come up with an answer. What you did was purely reactionary and right or wrong it is understandable. When enough time has passed, ask the little gal if she could help you figure out why the horse speeded up. Ask carefully so she doesn't think she was in the wrong but it will help fix the horse.


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## Cintillate (Jan 8, 2012)

I'm sorry that has happened. I also think the horse thought trotting was ok and then having the girl lean forward and scream might have surprised her? Don't know what to say. My horse ran away with my friend and all I could do was just watch. My friend was more experienced and much older but it was very scary for her and she is still afraid, she'd rather ride a horse she does know and trust which happens to be a stallion so...that is kind of backwards... but she gathered her courage and rode the horse again. Maybe the girl can ride a smaller horse that she trusts and build back up again when she is ready?


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## newhorsemom (Jun 20, 2008)

I can't even imagine how helpless you must have felt when all of this happened. These things happen with horses - any horse, any time. The best we can do is learn from our experiences and make different choices in the future. You just need to try your hardest to shake it off and look ahead. Your niece will eventually ride again and you can help her by letting her know how brave and grown up she is by getting on a horse after that scary experience. Make sure you let kids know that these things can happen and they do happen when you work with horses. You don't have to scare them but you should prep them.

My daughter started riding lessons when she was 5 and I told her from the get-go that if you're going to ride you're going to fall off. She's fallen off a number of times and other than one fall she always wants to get back on because she knows its part of riding. She is now 10 and I still tell her that. As a matter of fact we took her and her horse to a local horse park where she rode in the arena and then went for a trail ride (with Tiny Liny!!) and I was telling her that emergencies happen and when they do try your best not to panic but control your emotions and get a plan. Basically letting her know it happens to everyone at some point and that's just part of having horses.

Don't beat yourself up over what you should or shouldn't have done. It's over. Just brush the dirt off and look ahead - you've learned something from this. It's all part of the journey.


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

allisonjoy said:


> if you could please read my OP again because i had gotten off of my horse at was running after her myself. and again, this child would not have done that. but thank you for conducting a scenario.


 *I knew the best thing woulda been for me to get back on her and gallop towards her and katy to catch up, but my mind was a blur. *
Read more: http://www.horseforum.com/horse-talk/my-bombproof-childrens-mount-takes-off-108683/#ixzz1istPIwTf
​You said you should have pretty much chased her down. Your words not mine. I was pointing out what you thought you should do would make matters worse.


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

allisonjoy said:


> thank you for making a bunch of excuses and scenarios for the horse and the situation, and correcting my bad judgement time and time again. but if we could please provide some constructive approaches to the FUTURE, instead of the criticization of my previous faults that would be more than appreciated. thanks.
> 
> further elaborations on how big of a stupid person i am, while are believed to be constructive in repition on here are great and all, i would like to focus on how to rehabilitate the child and attempt to bring the horse back into her life correctly.


 With an attitude like this you may never learn a better approach. You just see it totally different then others and seem closed minded.


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## Northern (Mar 26, 2010)

allisonjoy said:


> it just *dissapointed *me beyond my belief, i *kept my cool enough to not just beat the **** outta her right then and there, i just took her home and did circles with her for 25 mins* and had her EXTREMELY in touch with what i was asking of her, ears completely in tune to me and listening to every word. she is also no longer allowed to graze with the bit in her mouth, that is another thing i am making completely unacceptable.





allisonjoy said:


> ... i never mentioned beating my horse? so where you got that Northern i have no idea. *Reread for comprehension: I didn't say that you DID beat her.*and 25 mins of making sure the horse was in tune to what i was asking to to do, by engaging her mind in different maneuvers isn't a bad thing. *It's bad when you do it out of "disappointment" and/or anger at the horse! Something tells me that 25 minutes of circles wouldn't have happened if she'd not trotted off with the 4-yr old, & also that the 25 minutes of circling wasn't enjoyable at all for the horse! *no, i do not blame the horse nor did i punish it. :shock:but am just disappointed in my expectations of her...yes northern i considered it, but in no means partook in...
> .


The whole incident tells me that you didn't understand horses in general, regardless of how many years you've been involved with them. You don't run after a loose horse, whether afoot or ahorseback, since it'll only make the horse try to escape more, & you certainly don't scream, on top of it! You don't get disappointed in your horse, you don't get mad at your horse, you don't drill a horse as punishment, because the horse did NOT do "bad"! 

When we told you this, it was out of concern for your horses & concern for kids. Forget about saying that we called you stupid, etc.; we did NOT! 

We ALL have been clueless/stupid/egotistical with horses, then two camps form: those who don't want to learn & those who do.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

kait18 said:


> i am going thru helping my nephew from a bad experience of us being attacked by a dog on horse.


Yeah that would scare the beejeezus out of me as well


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

churumbeque said:


> With an attitude like this you may never learn a better approach. You just see it totally different then others and seem closed minded.



insulting me by calling me "close minded" isn't exactly a helpful post do you think? i admit my mistakes and am trying to move on from hearing the same thing from everyone. obviously my mistakes were serious and everyone has repeatedly told me on here of what i should have done. so please do not analyze my attitude or the make up of my mind, i have taken the blame and said what i said in order to move on from that situation and have people gear their responses to what i needed help with. what needed to be said by others has been said, repeatedly, and it has seeped into my brain. consider it lesson learned, but please do not tell me how i see things because i see them just fine.


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

Northern said:


> The whole incident tells me that you didn't understand horses in general, regardless of how many years you've been involved with them. You don't run after a loose horse, whether afoot or ahorseback, since it'll only make the horse try to escape more, & you certainly don't scream, on top of it! You don't get disappointed in your horse, you don't get mad at your horse, you don't drill a horse as punishment, because the horse did NOT do "bad"!
> 
> When we told you this, it was out of concern for your horses & concern for kids. Forget about saying that we called you stupid, etc.; we did NOT!
> 
> We ALL have been clueless/stupid/egotistical with horses, then two camps form: those who don't want to learn & those who do.



well maybe that is true, i shouldnt have. but when a child i care for dearly is being carried away by a strong animal that has the possibility to end her life, my intinctual reaction was to get her off of it, catch the horse something, so sorry in those brief 60 secs i didn't evaluate what the right thing to do in the situation was. never faced with the problem and was honestly scared ****less. and sorry that i got a bit defensive, but i was still upset about what all went wrong and what could of been wrong, and then to come here for help on how to rehabilitate both the horse and child i had just a constant reminder of what an idiot i was for putting both the child and the horse in the situation.

and as for the circles, it was in a halter and bareback; it didn't JUST contain circles but more so backing up, woah on verbal command, and no grazing while being rode. so whether you see that as downright awful to the horse, that is your opinion. and i will listen to it, and take it, but i do not have to agree with it.

upon evaluating all this i DO SEE the errors, and i am glad you all have brought it to my attention, but i am trying to move past it and look onto the future, with a new lesson learned, and a positive outlook to the future. i obviously have a lot to learn, but right now i want to move forward without so much criticism .


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## OuttatheBlue (Dec 8, 2011)

How scary!! I doubt you'll be doing that again, and everyone else has harped enough so I won't do that. I'm so glad the child was okay! (If the worst thing hurt was her trust of horses, it could have been much worse!)
My nephew and nieces about that age that come out to ride every once and a while , so I can imagine how you would feel being helpless while it is happening. I'm so sorry both of you had to go through that! 
I've heard stories like this and it's made me a safety freak, so I go overboard and have a person leading the horse and two people on the side of the child along with helmets (I don't have child safety jackets though! Kudos to you for that one!)

I hope you get the girl back to her old love of horses!


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## Kawonu (Apr 24, 2011)

Horse people - they have good intentions, but they don't always like to read. No offense to anyone. XD
Ignore everyone who blabs out things that had nothing to do with what happened (like you beating your horse... whut?)

I personally think taking a moment with the mare to make sure she still understood certain commands was a **** good idea. A lot better than my old riding instructor's husband who once took my old mare out and rode her into the ground.

For the horse - yes, I can see her going to camp being fine. A horse is a horse, of course. As for the girl - when I was three or four, my ex-uncle Travis let me ride with him on a roper. I flew off one day and didn't get back on other than fair ponies (y'know, the ones that tromp around in circles) until I was seven. Do her a favor and slowly teach her that a horse can still be magnificent after an accident, and that he horse meant no harm. Someday she just might come around. Consider putting her on those little ponies at fairs and such and just work her way up. A pony might be the trick since they're smaller and easier to keep a leash on.

I hope things work out for you and your cousin. You're not a bad horseman, it was just a simple mistake. I don't see a problem with you having taken her out on a horse you trusted, it just didn't end he way as planned and it could have happened with anyone - trust me. I saw an adult Russian woman react the exact same way as your four year old cousin - sad but funny.


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## wild_spot (Jan 30, 2008)

> Horse people - they have good intentions, *but they don't always like to read.* No offense to anyone. XD
> Ignore everyone who blabs out things that had nothing to do with what happened (like you beating your horse... whut?)


Maybe you should take your own advice...



> I kept my cool enough to not just *beat the **** outta her* right then and there


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

wild_spot said:


> Maybe you should take your own advice...


well obviously i was upset at the moment because, eventhough i do NOT blame the horse, the horse took off with my baby cousin. didn't lay a hand on the horse, but was upset enough to where it crossed my mind. if you find that outrageous than so be it. i never hurt my horses, nor will i ever. but obviously my biggest mistake was admitting i thought about it. if honesty makes me a horrible person, then guess i am an incredibly horrible person.


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## maura (Nov 21, 2009)

To the OP - 

So sorry you had this very scary experience and learned a very important lesson in a very terrible way. 

You asked for some constructive advice on rehabbing the horse and rider, and I believe you're willing to listen to that. So here goes _

Assess how frightened your cousin was by the experience, and play up the positives. If she talks about it, don't let her talk too much about the scary aspects. Talk about how brave she was, talk about how great it was that she stayed on that long at the canter. Tease her about getting too big for her britches and getting ahead of the lesson plan and that she wasn't supposed to be cantering yet. If you have an old show ribbon or trophy, put her name on it and make a little ceremony of giving her an award for bravery or being a good sport. 

Don't push her to ride again right away. Let her hang out around the horses and groom and feed treats, etc. The first time back on a horse she should ride in front of you on the saddle. Not only will this feel very secure, you'll be able to tell easily when she gets tense or scared. 

Truthfully, for a 4 year old, riding in front is the best way to learn. 4 yos can't process verbal instruction well at all, but they're terrific mimics. So let her hold the reins in front on your hands and let her follow you and practice rein aids - she'll learn quickily this way. You can also easily teach sitting and posting trot, and sitting canter because they can *follow* the motion of your seat, you don't have to explain it. I would keep her riding this way as long as she's comfortable and happy doing so. I'd wait until she was *begging* before I'd progress to the lunge line or riding solo in the ring. And when you need to refresh the proper sequence of the aids, or position, have her ride in front of you again. 

I would wait until age 7 until I let her ride in the open, not on a lead line. Even if kids know the correct aids, most don't have the physical strength or coordination to control even a well behaved horse in the open. Ease into this by lead lining part of the ride, and letting her solo for increasing of time. You will have to get to the point where you can pony one horse from the other effectively for this to work. 

As far as your horse, I'm not sure you really need to do anything to "rehab" him. He really was just acting like a horse, in the absence of a leader or a rider with authority. But I get the very real sense from your post that you feel like the horse betrayed your trust. It's clear that you have a emotional connection to the horse; and that's wonderful. But don't expect that connection to make him behave in ways contrary to his instinct or his own interest. You're going to have to forgive the horse for this incident. He didn't do anything agressive or mean, he just acted like a horse. He's still the same sweet, wonderful youth mount he's always been, and he's probably still a safe camp mount and kid's horse. He just took advantage of an opportunity to do what he wanted to do, that's all.

That said, the best run lesson program I ever worked in had the advanced riders tune up the beginner horses at least four times a year. After the school horses had their two weeks off and were put back into work, we'd put good riders on them to really drill them on basic obedience/response to the adis before putting beginneers back on them again. Your horse might benefit from the same treatment. Every 3rd or 4th beginner ride, get on him and make sure the brakes and steering still work. It's important during these "check" rides that you ride on an elementary level and just work on his reposnse to aids - don't work on anything that requires subtlety or advanced aids. 

With my own lesson horses, I learned to recognize early signs that they needed a break from beginners. Grumpiness, delayed response to aids, resistance about things previously done cheerfully, all meant that the horse needed to be rotated out of the lesson line up for a while. Be alert for similar signs that your horse is losing his patience and give him a break. 

Best of luck to you.


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## Sharpie (May 24, 2009)

Sounds like a scary accident for everyone. The only potentially helpful suggestion I may have is to work on your horse's verbal 'whoa' in hopes you can get it sharp enough that it might kick in even if she's startled or trotting off. I hope the little girl gets back in the saddle soon.


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## Northernstar (Jul 23, 2011)

I feel so bad for you! Please don't let anyone make you feel guilty and take away your peace and joy in your horse. It would be a day that would shake anyone's resolve, no matter what. But your cousin is not injured, (thank goodness!), your normally obedient horse obviously just had a "moment", and you are a good rider, good horsewoman, and clearly a caring person. 
"Tomorrow is a fresh new day with no mistakes in it"...... (Anne of Green Gables).


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## HorseDreams (Dec 17, 2011)

Woulda, shoulda, coulda...

I think the lesson has been learned and I can see that AllisonJoy learned from her mistake. She clearly took responsibility for what happened and I don't see where she shrugged her shoulders and said she was going to take the 4 year old out again tomorrow... cut the girl some slack. MOST lessons learned are the ones we unfortunately learn the hard way, but it sticks with us and we never forget either!


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

HorseDreams said:


> Woulda, shoulda, coulda...
> 
> I think the lesson has been learned and I can see that AllisonJoy learned from her mistake. She clearly took responsibility for what happened and I don't see where she shrugged her shoulders and said she was going to take the 4 year old out again tomorrow... cut the girl some slack. MOST lessons learned are the ones we unfortunately learn the hard way, but it sticks with us and we never forget either!


Agree totally. And as for the rest of y'all jumping on the bandwagon here to slam the OP for running and screaming......have you all never , ever been totally paniky? I will tell you that even as an adult, I have. It is a totally helpless feeling when your horse, who was supposed to be totally beginner friendly does something unforeseen and potentially dangerous to someone we care about. Hindsight is 20/20, and NOONE, not even those of you who say you would not have yelled or run.....are perfect. Personally, I think the OP handled this just fine, given the circumstances, and I totally agree with her brief "tune up" of the horse after the fact. I am sure it "grounded" both she and her horse. Stuff happens-to all of us. THe OP has learned something from this. BAck off.:wink:


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## HorseDreams (Dec 17, 2011)

franknbeans said:


> Agree totally. And as for the rest of y'all jumping on the bandwagon here to slam the OP for running and screaming......have you all never , ever been totally paniky? I will tell you that even as an adult, I have. It is a totally helpless feeling when your horse, who was supposed to be totally beginner friendly does something unforeseen and potentially dangerous to someone we care about. Hindsight is 20/20, and NOONE, not even those of you who say you would not have yelled or run.....are perfect. Personally, I think the OP handled this just fine, given the circumstances, and I totally agree with her brief "tune up" of the horse after the fact. I am sure it "grounded" both she and her horse. Stuff happens-to all of us. THe OP has learned something from this. BAck off.:wink:


 

Amen! My thoughts exactly! Even if I were standing nearby on the ground and something happened I would run and yell not even having to think about it. It's a natural response in situations where you are extremely relaxed because you feel you are in a safe and familiar environment. The last thing you're thinking is that this horse that has NEVER spooked a day in it's life is going to go banana's over something out of the blue! It happens, Thank God that the little girl is safe and sound and slowly help her regain trust in the horse again. OP did everything right and if that were my child I would let her ride with them again... Did all of you people that are lecturing her read that the little girl had a helmet AND a protective vest on? OP is not irresponsible... she is human and one that does use safety precautions.


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## Northern (Mar 26, 2010)

No one SLAMMED her, no one laid a guilt trip on her! Everyone simply told her what was wrong with her decisions, in the spirit of CONCERN for her, her loved ones, & her horses! 

Annoyance at the lack of good judgment shown by OP came up in me, & no doubt in others, but rightly so, since both loose horse & kid could've gotten seriously hurt or worse. Kinda like you really need to know how to drive a car before you take a kid for a ride.

Why is it that unless we shore up someone's ego with "you're a good person, you're a good rider, don't take this the wrong way, you poor thing, blah blah", we're accused of bashing?


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## Celeste (Jul 3, 2011)

My 23 year old daughter started riding her own pony on trails at 4 years old. It was a very small, very old, and very broke pony. My daughter did get dumped a few times. It didn't hurt her all that badly. She got back on. She loved that pony. All her little friends would come over and use the pony for a Barbie doll. They combed, braided manes, tied ribbons, bathed, etc. and "Cookie" tolerated it all. I only let her friends ride the pony in the arena because of liability concerns. My daughter can out ride most adults now. She has been bucked off, laid down on, kicked, and such just like everybody else that rides. She only fell off the pony when she was 4 twice. Maybe I am a horrible mother, but my kids are bold, well adjusted, highly educated, good kids. Kids fall off of ponies. That's why we use helmets. I don't feel that this horse was at fault. The kids went psycho on her. The kid was scared and scared the pony. It happens. Since nobody was hurt, it shouldn't be an earth shaking event.


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## Kawonu (Apr 24, 2011)

Okay, everyone likes to pick a fight here apparently. That's what it looks like to me, and it's what I kep seeing. Allison learned her lesson, she never said she DID, darn it. Make me take my own advice? How about you take it first. As for everyone else, she gets it. She knows she screwed up. I'm glad to see SOME people can get over a person's mistakes and help AllisonJoy.


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

Northern said:


> No one SLAMMED her, no one laid a guilt trip on her! Everyone simply told her what was wrong with her decisions, in the spirit of CONCERN for her, her loved ones, & her horses!
> 
> Annoyance at the lack of good judgment shown by OP came up in me, & no doubt in others, but rightly so, since both loose horse & kid could've gotten seriously hurt or worse. Kinda like you really need to know how to drive a car before you take a kid for a ride.
> 
> Why is it that unless we shore up someone's ego with "you're a good person, you're a good rider, don't take this the wrong way, you poor thing, blah blah", we're accused of bashing?


for the record, i DID NOT write this post to get a sympathy card or a pity party. and not saying this is being slammed, but there are quite a few people that made it known that i am an irresponsible rider, have no knowledge in dealing with horses, and that i am closed minded and unopen to help. that is the farthest thing from the truth, and i don't think that was called for. i appreciate everyone's concern for the child and the horse, but some of you could have refrained from saying the things that were said. eventhough they might have been true and helpful, they are a bit rude at times.

i've moved past it and continue to like the statuses that provide positive encouragement and don't focus on what everyone else said i did wrong, or nit pick what i said or how it conflicts with your views.

as for everyone that is sticking up for me, thank you. i never thought in a million years this would be such a horse forum vs. me situation but i am glad that not all of you think i am a total wreck lol. thanks


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## HorseDreams (Dec 17, 2011)

Stoddard said:


> Okay, everyone likes to pick a fight here apparently. That's what it looks like to me, and it's what I kep seeing. Allison learned her lesson, she never said she DID, darn it. Make me take my own advice? How about you take it first. As for everyone else, she gets it. She knows she screwed up. I'm glad to see SOME people can get over a person's mistakes and help AllisonJoy.


Agreed!
I, for one, am not trying to stir anything up but my response what coming from a personal point of view. When I make a "mistake" or something scary/bad happens I just want to VENT about it! That is how I took OP initial post... something happened, she acknowledged it, corrected what she could, and understood that what happened wasn't a good situation. When I first looked at her thread most of what I was seeing were comments telling her over and over and over what she did wrong, how it's dangerous, etc. And I thought to myself... I don't see her trying to defend what she did, I took it as her just needing to talk about it. Some times all we need is a simple "Mmmm Hmmmm" and a nod. 

I only post this because of the response that was given after my response.

AllisonJoy... sometimes it's just better to agree to disagree with people. Don't let all of the feedback get to you... IF it is! :thumbsup:


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

The only thing I'll contribute is that we often react to an emergency the way we have PREPARED to react - if we have. If we haven't prepared, we panic. Panic is what a person does when they do not know what to do. That is why the military has flight simulators, so you practice what you should do. Then, in a pinch, you will do it.

For whatever reason, my instinctive reaction to a horse bolting was to throw myself halfway on its neck and squeeze with my knees. It has taken a lot of practice to replace THAT reaction with tilting slightly back, consciously spreading my knees further apart, and breathing deeply. However, course of action #2 works much better than #1.

So if you've ever offered a newbie a chance to ride, and haven't thought out "What if....", then you've done yourself, your friend, and your horse a disservice. I don't care if the newbie is 4, 12, or 48 - 'what if' the situation before letting them on the horse. For example, my horses all know the verbal cue, "Easy". It means take it down a notch. I use it all the time when riding. And when my horse starts to go faster than the newbie is ready for, I can call out "Easy" - and to date, my horse slows down. Meanwhile, I tell the new rider if things go wrong, grab the horn, spread your legs further apart, and concentrate on staying with the horse.

Others may have better ideas. Rather than berating the OP further, it might be useful to discuss how to introduce someone - of any age - to riding (such as Maura's post above). Just IMHO.


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## allisonjoy (Oct 8, 2011)

HorseDreams said:


> When I first looked at her thread most of what I was seeing were comments telling her over and over and over what she did wrong, how it's dangerous, etc. And I thought to myself... I don't see her trying to defend what she did, I took it as her just needing to talk about it. Some times all we need is a simple "Mmmm Hmmmm" and a nod.
> 
> 
> AllisonJoy... sometimes it's just better to agree to disagree with people. Don't let all of the feedback get to you... IF it is! :thumbsup:


yes truly that was all i was looking for in this post, and how i can rehabilitate the child. i do appreciate the advice you have given me, all of you, and i am taking it all in. i realized a lot of what you were saying after the incident, yes it is horrible that that is what it took for me to realize the errors in my judgement but i now do. 

i am sorry my actions and some of the things i said are so incredibly awful for some of you to comprehend, and i know a lot of faults were involved on my part. but really all i can do is change the way i do things in the future. 

as for letting it get to me, it did yesterday pretty bad, because the day itself was such a disaster and the plausible responses of you guys are understandable, but it kinda made me feel ya know... kinda worse? i understand that you guys aren't trying to fight me, but really it just kinda hurt because i was portrayed to be this horrible horseman with a bad sense of judgement, and carelessness for a child. i absolutely love my horses, and eventhough it shouldn't it pains me to hear that you guys think i treat them poorly because i **thought** about beating her. that is my family, my blood, whose life was at risk. and eventhough i do not blame the horse, initially i did... i understand the horse was not in the wrong, but i was dissappointed in myself and her. i obviously let my emotions get to me, and really this isn't the place for it.

i'm kinda at a loss for words, but don't really see myself as trying to become involved in the forum as much because this has gotten to be such a big thread, with a lot of people not exactly considering me a credible source anymore or perhaps trying to help me because i feel as though you all have an image of me as an irresponsible horseman that you don't seem to per say... like? this isn't a placed for best friends, but i did want to have a good rep. on here and it seems as though this might have been the ice breaker..


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## pepperduck (Feb 14, 2008)

Pretty much the same thing happened with me and my sister a few years ago. My sister was about 12 or 13 at the time. She had her own horse who we always considered a "bombproof" horse who was an 18 year old quarter horse mare. My sister and I would always go on trail rides together, just a walk and trot, she was never really comfortable with more but understood the basics. We went for a trail ride in early spring and she was behind me on her horse when all of a sudden her horse took off at a canter and passed me and started cantering slowly in a field. My sister started leaning forward and got nervous and let the reins slip through her fingers. After some encouragement I got her to shorten her reins and then the horse stopped. We walked back to the barn and we practiced working on her steering and stopping, and I cantered her on a lunge line so she wouldn't be terrified to canter after that. With the little girl try getting her to ride the horse again on a lunge line, start to build her confidence back up.
I still always considered my horse a beginner safe horse, and I blame her starting to canter on myself. We never really ride much in the winter because there is so much snow, and this was our 2nd ride out with that horse basically since the fall. She was excited to be out. So don't think that because your horse had one "off day" that she is no longer a beginner horse. Its also hard to determine the cause since she was behind you, maybe she just spooked at something, which you can't blame her for since shes a horse.


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## Kawonu (Apr 24, 2011)

AllisonJoy, if there's anything I've learned about animal lovers on animal forums, it's that some people get defensive for an animal when they think something horrible happened. It's also the type of thing that after al the bickering, you take a few deep breaths, dust off your shoulders, and keep posting like the fights never happened. Ask your questions, give/get advice, and share your stories. There's a ton of members here who still care to rad your posts, and I'm sure even the ones who put negative comments can give positive comments in the future. Animal forums are the harshest sometimes, but if you leave, you'll be missed. It's the internet. There is a whole world of people and opinions.


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## SmallTownGypsy (Dec 17, 2011)

I totally agree with Stoddard. Besides, people come and go from these places every day. There will be new people joining and what if they ask a question that you would be the perfect person to answer. What if they go through a situation JUST like this? I think you should stick around just in case. We may need you.


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## Spyder (Jul 27, 2008)

allisonjoy said:


> for the record, i DID NOT write this post to get a sympathy card or a pity party. and not saying this is being slammed, but there are quite a few people that made it known that i am an irresponsible rider, have no knowledge in dealing with horses, and that i am closed minded and unopen to help. that is the farthest thing from the truth, and i don't think that was called for. i appreciate everyone's concern for the child and the horse, but some of you could have refrained from saying the things that were said. eventhough they might have been true and helpful, they are a bit rude at times.
> 
> i've moved past it and continue to like the statuses that provide positive encouragement and don't focus on what everyone else said i did wrong, or nit pick what i said or how it conflicts with your views.
> 
> as for everyone that is sticking up for me, thank you. i never thought in a million years this would be such a horse forum vs. me situation but i am glad that not all of you think i am a total wreck lol. thanks


The people here do get that the incident was something that you have looked back upon and will probably take triple precautions in the future.


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

franknbeans said:


> Agree totally. And as for the rest of y'all jumping on the bandwagon here to slam the OP for running and screaming......have you all never , ever been totally paniky? I will tell you that even as an adult, I have. It is a totally helpless feeling when your horse, who was supposed to be totally beginner friendly does something unforeseen and potentially dangerous to someone we care about. Hindsight is 20/20, and NOONE, not even those of you who say you would not have yelled or run.....are perfect. Personally, I think the OP handled this just fine, given the circumstances, and I totally agree with her brief "tune up" of the horse after the fact. I am sure it "grounded" both she and her horse. Stuff happens-to all of us. THe OP has learned something from this. BAck off.:wink:


 No one slammed the OP for running and screaming just pointing out that it would make a horse run off. I was on a run away as a kid and I screamed my bloody head off and made the horse run faster.It is just a fact and I pointed out that riding after chasing the horse would make matters worse which she thought that is what she should have done looking back.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

The thread devolved to the point of no longer offering anything helpful and becoming nothing but a place for attack and counter attack. The OP admitted her mistake and her lapse in judgement and was actually asking for some advice to try and correct the negative consequences of her mistake , while clearly acknowledgeing her intention to NOT repeat the mistake. Some good advice was given on how to get the little girl to trust horses again, and a reassurance that the horse will most likely be ok for the youth camp. But the insistense that the OP get a personal tongue lashing from so many posters here, long after she admitted her wrong, means that the OP will be backed into a corner and can do little else but fight back. It's almost inevtiable that the thread will end up in "the land of the rude", being editted , and in this case, closed.

To the OP:
Please consider specifically what you want to get from respondents to your thread and make your request very clear. Do realize that when your story involves a dangerous accident, that other horse persons will be sure to feel strongly the need to correct you if they feel you are underestimating the danger involved. Be prepared to listen.

Respondents:

If you were the OP and had admitting an error, (and surely you DO make mistakes from time to time) you would not appreciate being reminded over and over again of how wrong it is. If 3 persons have already scolded the OP, need there be 4 or 5 or more? She asked for some helpful ideas for what to do NEXT, so do you have an idea to offer?


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