# Living Crazed



## HorseTrance (Jan 26, 2011)

*January 2013*


*(If you want to skip this part then go ahead. I wrote the upper part so that everyone can understand where I am coming from better and put themselves in my shoes)*




What was my new year’s resolution? Make friends. 
After moving to a city in Michigan from a rural place in West Virginia with very limited things to do, I found myself in Michigan being overwhelmed with frustration, challenges, uncomfortableness, new aggressive drivers and often people that would comment on my southern accent. 


First week of college in spring term was of course easy, but finding friends and people to connect to is rough. Last semester was my first semester being at Michigan. It was horrible for me trying to find others to relate to. I only added one person from my college on facebook. I felt like a total outsider with nothing to communicate to them. They would talk about the area and previous or current teachers. The only thing I found myself trying to jump in at was asking more about the hard teachers so I wouldn’t end up with them in the future. I guess it makes it harder since I don’t live in the dorms. I live with my sister and her boyfriend in an apartment. At least I have them to talk to. I’ve been getting used to Michigan now and decided I like it here better than West Virginia. The aggressive driving is kind of a stress buster compared to WV’s laid back slow driving. I love the feeling of getting a yellow light and running it instead of stopping for it like in West Virginia lol.


Well now it’s the third week of January 2013 and the more my other friends fill up their facebook with opportunities and friend filled pictures, the more I found myself sitting here saying, “What am I doing wrong? I’m in a city with more opportunities and I’m sitting here feeling sorry for myself when others could be looking at me as a possible role model. I have family members looking up to me. They are always asking what I’m doing. Do I really want the same reply of ‘oh just college.’ No I don’t. I want to do something I love and help others with it.” 


I ran it through my head quickly. What are things I love? I started naming off a bunch of summer activities. I’m already tired of the cold weather and it’s just beginning haha. Then my mind screamed, “Horses!” That’s it. That is something that West Virginia didn’t really offer me that Michigan would. I began looking up lessons. They were a bit expensive for my taste. Being a college student, I don’t have that kind of money unless I have a job of some sort. It would be hard to budget that. I began getting discouraged and impatient that I’d have to wait until April to take horse lessons with my birthday money. It would last me until my summer aid kicked in. Then I could budget that to take lessons through the summer too. 

I sat there the rest of the day after my homework, reading up on the horse forum and looking at horse ads for some reason. I couldn’t even afford lessons, let alone a horse. Why was I even looking at them for? Must be a girl thing since my sister can’t get a house at the moment but looks at houses online anyways. Lol. 


For some reason after I thought that, I had a good gut feeling about the rest of my year. I wanted to switch the tables all around and grasp the world. I wanted to work hard and have life shift its curveballs elsewhere. I wanted to create a positive sphere around myself that was so intense that everyone around me could feel it and automatically be attracted to sit next to me and get to know me more. After shifting through a few more threads at the horse forum, I came across a few words that my mind pieced together. “Rescue” “Help out” “Ground Training” “Manners”. 




*January 17th and 18th 2013*




My mind sparked that I should look up a rescue and volunteer. Somehow I managed to find one barn. I examined their website and facebook page. They had a lot of positive reviews and figured this was the place for me. On a spur of the moment, without even thinking, I immediately messaged them. 
An hour later I got a reply asking my info so they could have their volunteer coordinator contact me. I replied back casually but then it suddenly hit me after I pressed the send button. I was really doing this. They were really going to let me volunteer and work with horses over there. They didn’t reject me saying they already have too many volunteers or anything like that. Then again, it is freakin freezing outside and they might be low on volunteers. 
Either way, I got my foot in the door and I got extremely excited.

Around 8pm the volunteer coordinator mailed me. I was so jittery and excited, my mind was so crazy happy that I couldn’t even remember or find where the reply button was for a few moments. lol we exchanged a few messages before she gave me a time and address to come help out and show me around! The date is tomorrow. I am so thrilled. One side of my brain coaches me to think through the hard work I’m going to make soooo many happy friends and have sooo much good times and everything will be rainbows, sunshine and hooves. But the other side of my brain laughs at that thought and says to me that I should get ready to be sore, dirty, and heartbroken with very odd friends. When I put the two sides of my brain together, I know both are wrong and that the only way to find out is to wait and see. 

I hope tomorrow goes okay!



*January 19th 2013 *




I rarely talk to myself in my car driving along, but this morning when going along the road to the horse rescue, I was chatting to myself like crazy. I kept telling myself, “WOW it is SO pretty out here!” When I arrived, the sun was shining brightly on the rescue and I felt so nervous that I had to pee! I parked my car and stepped out, I looked around but it was very silent. It was unusual for me because all the barns im used to were filled with people and horses all over. The first person to greet me was actually the owner of the whole place. I had no idea I was talking to the owner of the whole rescue until my volunteer coordinator showed up and greeted me. She introduced me to everyone at the barn working and took me into the tack room to sign a liability form of course. She explained a time sheet for the volunteers to sign in and out of just to keep track, and then showed me around the place. I expected horses with better manners, but then I realized a lot of these horses were about to be dog food or had been neglected and some not even broke. They needed work. 


By the time I got into a field with a bunch of drafts, and had one get in my personal space and step on my foot even though I was set to the side of it, I was starting to question my ability to work with these horses. There was a girl beside me who helped push the draft off my foot. She could tell I was nervous and felt kind of embarrassed. I told her I’m just glad the horse didn’t put its whole weight on my foot and that I’d have to be more careful looks like. That girl told me her story, she was a few years younger than me and we had a lot in common! We loved black horses, especially Friesians. She told me she wanted to go swimming in the summer with the horses if they would let her, and I immediately got excited and said that would be amazing! I really connected with her. We started talking about filming our horse adventures together and I finally realized my resolution for the year was starting to come true. I was making friends! 


The more I roamed around, groomed horses, raked up some hay and got used to the atmosphere, I decided this place was perfect for me. Out of 59 horses that were there, I only seemed to favor one named Aiden, but he was already owned and currently had a sheath infection. Poor thing. Lol he is my favorite at the moment and gave me a neck hug when I was grooming him. I guess me not being connected to a horse is good right now. I have to remember to focus on my college instead of riding and working with my own horse all day. It is a lot of commitment that I don’t have right now. I also began thinking as the day went on, So what if a horse stepped on my foot? It’ll happen plenty of times in the future I’m sure right? And yes, I have much insecurity with working with a lot of unruly horses. I’m only a beginner after a few years of not riding and am really rusty on my caretaking skills. Already I could tell just by grooming them that they were testing me to see how much they could get away with. But I’m willing to learn the hardcore way! I mean, it is no challenge to catch an easy horse in the pasture. It is no challenge to tack and ride an old school horse, it is no challenge to groom a horse that loves and trusts everyone and expects treats all the time. There is no hard challenge for me and here offers that. I love challenges, even if this is the more stupid and dangerous way. I should be fine if I ask a lot of questions and observe how others train the horses. For my safety, observing is important! 


Man, this journey should be a long one! :wink:


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## CowboysDream (Nov 12, 2011)

It sounds exciting so far and I am totally jealous! I want more horsie time and to meet more horse people. I once emailed a rescue that was close by but when they found out that I live in a certain city they never emailed back.


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## HorseTrance (Jan 26, 2011)

CowboysDream said:


> It sounds exciting so far and I am totally jealous! I want more horsie time and to meet more horse people. I once emailed a rescue that was close by but when they found out that I live in a certain city they never emailed back.


That's awful! Maybe they were not good horse people anyways. I also live in a considered 'bad' place. I made sure to explain to them that im right on the outskirts of Ann Arbor when they asked. My address says a different city that is considered a bit more bad and old, but I made it very clear that I'm one highway exit from Ann Arbor, putting me into a category that i'm right next to it and not... ghetto or bad. It is the more middle class area xD

They laughed at me trying to explain, but I just didn't want them to think the wrong thing lol I really liked the place and wouldn't let an area that I live at ruin that. They were very understanding though, and that is something the rescue you contacted seemed to not have  some people are just very narrow minded I guess. 

I hope you find more horse friends! I'm sure if I go to move for a job I will be in the same boat so don't feel bad lol
If I move for a job I currently have set my eyes on, I will probably be an hour closer to where you are! =]


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## CowboysDream (Nov 12, 2011)

HorseTrance said:


> That's awful! Maybe they were not good horse people anyways. I also live in a considered 'bad' place. I made sure to explain to them that im right on the outskirts of Ann Arbor when they asked. My address says a different city that is considered a bit more bad and old, but I made it very clear that I'm one highway exit from Ann Arbor, putting me into a category that i'm right next to it and not... ghetto or bad. It is the more middle class area xD
> 
> They laughed at me trying to explain, but I just didn't want them to think the wrong thing lol I really liked the place and wouldn't let an area that I live at ruin that. They were very understanding though, and that is something the rescue you contacted seemed to not have  some people are just very narrow minded I guess.
> 
> ...


Haha I wanted to explain after and be like "No no I am in a good part and I am totally not sketchy, I swear!" I think there are a lot of other rescues around, they just aren't online. I am settling into my new job though plus getting a puppy soon, so once I get a bit more into the groove I may start relooking. Until then I ride every Monday night in a lesson with my boyfriend  and I can go visit my barn Friday nights if I feel like it to groom my lesson horse and watch my little sister ride. 

And yay moving closer, that would be cool! It seems only people with their own horses hang out at my barn. I don't have my own horse haha so I don't get to join the "club". So closer horse friends would be awesome  

When do you go back to the rescue?


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## HorseTrance (Jan 26, 2011)

CowboysDream said:


> Haha I wanted to explain after and be like "No no I am in a good part and I am totally not sketchy, I swear!" I think there are a lot of other rescues around, they just aren't online. I am settling into my new job though plus getting a puppy soon, so once I get a bit more into the groove I may start relooking. Until then I ride every Monday night in a lesson with my boyfriend  and I can go visit my barn Friday nights if I feel like it to groom my lesson horse and watch my little sister ride.
> 
> And yay moving closer, that would be cool! It seems only people with their own horses hang out at my barn. I don't have my own horse haha so I don't get to join the "club". So closer horse friends would be awesome
> 
> When do you go back to the rescue?


Yeah sounds good. I am the same way. I used to have friends with horses, and they all thought I knew nothing about horses because I didn't own one or something... They were always bragging about their horses too. Then they would all go out on a trail or anywhere really and hang out on them. I could never hang with them or be in that click correctly, because I didn't have a horse. It really sucked, and still does lol. That's okay though because I'd rather wait until I can tell them "Yeah I pay for my own horse, tack, feed, and lessons, your mommy and daddy still pay for yours?" lol. 

At the rescue its so much better. Everyone there works hard for what they want and thats what I need lol. I go back this friday on the 25th. I heard they got a lot of new horses this week rescued so I am dieing to see all of them lol.


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

Good for you on getting out there & doing it. But, please be careful on running those yellow lights-not a good habit to get into. Hope you find more friends & do well in your studies.


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## CowboysDream (Nov 12, 2011)

You should definitely take some pictures!  I would love to see the rescues. At this rescue do you get to chose a certain horse to make your own project out of? It kind of sounded like that in one of your posts.


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## HorseTrance (Jan 26, 2011)

CowboysDream said:


> You should definitely take some pictures!  I would love to see the rescues. At this rescue do you get to chose a certain horse to make your own project out of? It kind of sounded like that in one of your posts.


Thanks CaCowgirl lol ^^ I will be more careful lol =]

And I will take some pics. I have a few already! I will show you my favorite horse so far. His name is Aiden, I think its the BO's horse, not sure. He has two blue eyes, and a bit muddy right now lol. And the other picture is the road to the horse rescue. 



















And did I really make it sound like I got to chose a horse as a project? Probably because im hoping to do that rofl. I want to take care of my own horse so bad  We technically take care and help ALL the horses there. But I would like to have one horse that im more in tune with to work with more than others would. But doing that will make me want the horse. And I'm still new there so I'm sure I should really just spend a lot of time there and get to know everyone and the horses first. Just be adjusting to life there and know what i can and cant do. I don't want to be doing something I'm not allowed to do, so I will take it easy... >_> until the weather warms up. haha 

I mean the BO DID say to me, a lot of the horses that get adopted there are owned by the volunteers and neighbors nearby themselves. lol I don't know if she was hinting around or anything lol so tempting though! I wont have my budget fixed for owning a horse until next year, so I MUST keep to that plan so I wont suffer consequences lol.


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## HorseTrance (Jan 26, 2011)

*January 25th 2013*

When it finally hit Friday the 25th, I was once again expecting lots of people to be everywhere for some reason. I have no idea why my mind would think people would be everywhere over there since it was pouring the snow and my car was sliding all over the place. Luckily for me, 80 percent of the way to that barn was by highway, and they were pretty clear.


When arriving, I was the only one there in the barn. I went into the tack room and took full advantage of getting used to everything. I thought, now I can explore on my own without feeling so stiff about it. There was supposed to be a girl who was going to be at the barn when I was… But she wasn’t here. This huge tack room was kind of messy, but what do you expect with over 50-60 horses at the place? Lol. 













I kept telling myself “What am I supposed to do?” Here is a girl who isn’t familiar with the horses personalities, who wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to go into a certain stall, who didn’t really know anyone, and who really wanted to pet one specific horse but failed all day. Lol It wasn’t nerve racking that I was alone; in fact I enjoyed it for awhile. And I had my phone right on my side in case something really bad did happen, but I wasn’t planning on doing anything dangerous. I am used to horses without a lot of problems. Ones that are broke and don’t have bad habits. Ones that are in harmony with humans and trust them. So going into this place of rescue horses suddenly felt like working with whole different animals. It was like I lost all ability to take care of them because there was no trust and fear in them. It was fearful for me too though, because I don’t know how they will react to certain things.


I guess everyone came to the barn on Saturdays the most. A guy walked in after I raked some hay into a pile, clearing the aisles the horses would walk through and I said hello to him. He said hi back and seemed to be fixing up an empty stall for another horse. He was very fast at it though and left as soon as he was done. Guess I was alone again. The snow started to get a blizzard effect outside and I decided in an hour I would leave in fear of my car not being able to get back home. Until then, I decided I would get to know the horses more. I filled my hands with treats and gave each one so they would start recognizing me at least when I went to the barn. I tried to pet one horse the whole day and get her to take anything from me. Her name was Fiona. Hay, carrots in my pocket from home, treats, ect. She wouldn’t budge. I even bit into the carrot to show her I am eating it, so it’s okay for you to take and eat it too. Yeah guess reality didn’t work like that because she just turned away ****. 


There was one horse that was kind of “life like” very uppty, sassy and neigh like when I was in view. Last time I didn’t think anything of it. Last time, I was snapping a picture of Aiden and she neighed at me. I have no clue if it was a “hey I want a picture too!” or just a “what are you doing?” neigh. I had a leftover treat and she knew I was debating on whom to give it to on that side of the barn. She let out a loud exhale, her ears straight up peeking out of the stall at me. Lol I decided okay you want this way more than the others so you can have it. I decided to groom her after she seemed very friendly and not spooky of my fast hand movements. Her coat was much softer than the other horses. I felt along her back and it was very emaciated with her hips. I wasn’t for sure how old the horse was or if when horses got old, if they ever lost weight. At first I wasn’t a fan of this horse, but it was always trying to get my attention, so maybe it’s a good idea to pay attention more. It made my day a whole lot better. I felt not so alone in there after that. 


I am slowly learning what is okay and not okay. When I saw the indoor arena, they left the back open so horses that were cold could have some shelter and come in. I tried to give them treats too. I had a tiny gut feeling not to do it since they were in a group. Well the gut feeling was right as usual. One laid its ears pinned back and snapped at the others wanting to get the treat. I didn’t want to start a brawl so I quickly pulled back my hand with the treat and said no to the horse not willing to share any of my hand lol. No more feeding treats in a group of rescue horses. Got it.


I gave the other side of the barn some treats too. Some horses just were NOT interested one bit at treats. Maybe they were just lazy? There was a small pony sticking its head on the arenas gate looking at me. It was completely away from the others so I figured to take a fast risk and give it my last treat secretly. The other horses didn’t seem to notice and it was a success. After that I washed my hands in the tack room and cuddled up to some barn cats reading the “adoption form” posted on a wall. I decided I would take lessons elsewhere. I missed being around horses that were used to humans and I’d rather be taught by someone that has more experience with horses than the teachers here. That way, I can get the best of both worlds. 


Reading more of the adoption form made me very depressed. Even after a two year evaluation of the horse you adopted, they could still come onto YOUR property at ANY given time, go into your barn, and take your horse for ANY reason. I DID NOT appreciate reading that. I understand the rules I guess. But it wasn’t my preference or how I visualized getting my first horse. Wouldn’t that be awful to wake up and not have a guarantee your horse will be there the next day? That they could take it for any reason? These people were nice and busy with their own world of course, they wouldn’t do that. But it still made me object to this whole adoption thing anymore. If you bred the horse, they would take the foal or you would pay $500 to them with the same rules applied as the original horse you adopted. You had to have a written approval of them to even move the horse if you were move to another house or move the horse to a boarding place. To me, it seemed like one big hassle. I wanted a horse that was mine. All mine and no one could take it away from me at all. I think I have decided if I did adopt from here, it would be a pasture companion horse. 












And the new horse of the barn:


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

Sounds like you had quite a day. Weird that there was hardly anyone else around, though. Yes, adoption rules can be a real turn-off,but it can be a comfort to newbies, or older folks that have health issues, as they know the horse has a place to go if things go bad.The new horse has a very sweet expression. How often do you go there?


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## HorseTrance (Jan 26, 2011)

Cacowgirl said:


> Sounds like you had quite a day. Weird that there was hardly anyone else around, though. Yes, adoption rules can be a real turn-off,but it can be a comfort to newbies, or older folks that have health issues, as they know the horse has a place to go if things go bad.The new horse has a very sweet expression. How often do you go there?


Every Friday or Saturday. If its warm and I don't have to study, I will go both days. I keep telling myself when a horse gets adopted there, that I need to be happy and not sad lol. It will take me awhile to get used to the weird feeling once I see "Adopted" on their facebook updates. lol


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## HorseTrance (Jan 26, 2011)

*January 27th 2013*

Last night I thought I would dream about the new horse that came to the barn but instead, I dreamed about the horse I groomed the other day. The one that was always interested when I stepped into the barn and was very uppty. They call her Shirley. I’m not sure why. It really isn’t a fitting name. A lot of the horses have human names because they wont be there for a long time a suppose. Just makes it easier on volunteers and others to remember. Anyways, I was kinda sad that the new horse in the barn was being adopted before I went to bed last night. There were so many people interested and filling out adoption forms to get him. I knew he was a sweet horse and it made me sick that a lot of the comments were just “OH HES SO PRETTY” then, if they posted a less attractive horse even though it was better suited for them, they would only glance. I deemed most the potential buyers as not worthy lol. I thought maybe I was being too much of a critic and maybe even sensitive. Maybe after awhile of working here I will become immune to it. At least I hope so! 

I am thinking of inquiring about Shirley. God how I hate the name Shirley haha. She deserves such a more fun name to fit her personality. I have looked on their facebook about her and gathered some pics I will show you. It is kind of sad  She arrived at the rescue in October. 



















That is what she looked like. But now here she is on the progress of getting better.



















She hasn’t changed much since then and I kind of want to help build muscle on her. She is sweet enough to make me feel comfortable to turn her out, lunge her and do ground work. Maybe even some light saddle work in spring. But, I would prefer since it’s so cold, to just do turn outs, feedings, grooming and such until I can get to know her more. I was even thinking about sponsoring her, because no one will.

A lot of the prettier horses always have sponsors. The older more ugly horses never have sponsors. As a graphic designer in the making, I’m strictly taught in my field to ignore the ugly. Ugly is always fixable in the right hands. Creativity, emotion and love are the keys to success! I always applied it to everything and I won’t stop now. With the lack of her having sponsors, and hay being so expensive, I feel this is why it is taking her longer to heal; she has only had one sponsor before when she first arrived and the sponsor only paid for one month. She is a mare in her early 20’s but very full of life and the farrier said she is very sound. The only thing she needs is to gain weight and muscle. Should I go for it?



The cat I adopted that everyone at the shelter called the lucky but “ugly” one. 










 After I got a hold of him: 










Now the prettiest. Lol ^.^


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## CowboysDream (Nov 12, 2011)

I think shes pretty. Very kind looking face. I think if you have the money, it wouldn't hurt to sponsor her  If you sponsor her does she get extra food or supplements? 

Also yay graphic designer.And your kitty is adorable! You have a really kind heart


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## HorseTrance (Jan 26, 2011)

If I sponsor her she will get supplements and extra things she needs. I am very cautious on those things though. I want to make sure it doesnt go to another horse. Was thinking of asking if I could sponsor in a way where I would just provide her with the supplements myself as long as I have a copy of the written paper from a vet saying what kind she would need. I also want to get her a new horse blanket, because the one she has now has holes in it and is kind of old lol.

Either way works when it comes down to it though =] I just am anxious to see her progress. Maybe when she finally becomes adoptable in summer or fall, I can afford to get her if a bond develops. I am starting to believe the old saying that the horse does chose you instead of the other way around. lol

Edit: (afford to get her as in upkeep her every month. lol  )


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## HorseTrance (Jan 26, 2011)

*January 28th 2013* (almost put 2012 haha)

So today. I must do a squee. EEEEEE!!!! okay. lol

Things are looking up for me! I have suddenly got a burst of determination out of nowhere! 

I mailed a coordinator today from the horse rescue to ask about Shirley. They gave me a email address to the admin of the rescue, so I mailed them. The first reply they gave me kind of made me feel like I wasn't going to be a great owner/sponsor/anything for her haha. 

"Shirley will require an *intermediate* rider. She has a go button" 

My mind: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. lol 
They also told me she was most likely a barrel horse in her earlier life. I kept asking myself "a go button? is that a bad thing? Does she have trouble stopping? does she speed on everything? both? crap im only a beginner. I thought a older horse with lots of experience would be great for me! Wait. I just want to work and sponsor her, im not adopting yet." 

ahh i was worse than an Edward Cullen fan girl. :shock:

Two hours later they messaged me again and said to come out to the barn tomorrow to talk more about her. I agreed immediately! After, I took a shower and even decided, "You know what, I'm getting a part-time job at the movie theater or something." lol it was a blast of confidence out of nowhere and I think its because I really want to help the horses and learn so much. I want to make it a worthwhile hobby, even if it is expensive.

Right now, I feel a bad awful guilt in my stomach because, i should be studying for a test tomorrow instead of going to a barn... So tonight i decided im going to study until I beg for mercy to sleep. lol

Off I go to study! Updates tomorrow on the journey to helping... *shudders at the name* Shirley. lol


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## CowboysDream (Nov 12, 2011)

Haha woah Nelly you are getting a bit ahead of yourself XD <3 And who knows, by time she is adoptable, you might improve at your riding and be able to afford her! I like your pep though!


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## HorseTrance (Jan 26, 2011)

*January 29th 2013*

T__T cowboysdream was right. ****

I got too ahead of myself. lol

Today was very fun. It was "vet night" over there. So all the important people I needed to know, were over there. lol

I mucked out stalls (i am so glad most of the stalls have mats there lol), refreshed their waters, watched the farrier trim and learned some tricks. I also watched the vets float teeth and check hooves. I had to catch a horse that got loose in the arena while lessons were going on. That was fun even though I almost got ran over by the horse trying to stop him  He doesnt like to be away from his team pull horse that was on the other side getting its feet trimmed lol. So we set them close to each other.

Then lastly... They said "You want to ride Shirley?" Light riding only of course. I really wanted to. I said yes and they gave me all the tack to put on her. 

I got in her stall and looked like this with all the tack in my arms: :shock:

rofl. I hadn't ridden in a year, I felt like a newb all over again. I got so nervous, and then I forgot everything I ever learned because I was so nervous! The horse knew how to put on the tack better than me and she hadnt been ridden in like 6 years! haha

They all were away, so I tried to figure everything out myself. I put on the bit backwards. It was dark in the stall and I didn't realize it till i checked the side straps of it. Before that, I had to get her blanket off. It took me a few minutes to figure it all out. I was very proud of myself lol, I'm used to people not putting blankets on horses or sheets even. They slowly figured out I was having problems and helped me out. I hated saying I was a beginner rider when they asked, so I said "I know a few Western techniques but not enough to be intermediate. Im very rusty on riding." 

Okay fast forward lol. I got on her and had trouble keeping my heels down in tennis shoes. I walked her. Then i trotted. They yelled at the horse to stop o.0 and i said, "no its okay i told her too." They said oh okay. After a bit, I cantered her and cued her with a voice. They once again yelled around at the horse. I said no its okay, i told her to. After several rounds of them doing this, I found myself getting annoyed at all the people disrupting my riding. Here I was in a nice trot, gradually moving into a smooth canter so that I could get a better feel for her and then bam. Straight on stop because of someone yelling to stop. I know I'm a little dumb on the tack, but I guess they thought cantering was too much for me too. I love cantering, I wish I could do it more often. 

For a split second I felt back to old times when I rode better. 
I felt for just for that split second that i was alone and stress free....
For the next split second I felt sooo- "STOP SHIRLEY! SLOW DOWN! PULL THE REINS BACKKKK FAFKAFJALL" 
Wtf? NOOO *horse comes to a stop* ._. gay. lol

Needless to say, I love Shirley, but I can't provide her with what potential she has. She has show potential. Unfortunately, I can't give her that. I'm not the show type of person. I am a pleasure only rider. At least for now anyways. But I want to see her progress and I might cry when she gets adopted but thats okay  itll be happy tears.


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## HorseTrance (Jan 26, 2011)

I probably won't be updating this as often anymore since all the excitement has settled down.

Last night I learned so much, and today I have realized several things.

I rode Shirley, but of course, since she is up for adoption, and the admin for the adoption and facebook page was there, they filmed us riding her and posted it up on facebook.

I expected nice replies, but one person made a bad comment on the trainer that rode her, saying something about the spurs that were used on her. I was clearly there and she didn't use the spurs at all on her. She immediately picked up and went without the pressing of the spurs she was wearing. 

The trainer got extremely defensive of this ONE person, saying she was a "reserved world champion" and had a trained leg to use spurs and that no one should critic her and that ALL her clients were so pleased with her training. (surprised me she would speak for ALL her clients) I was starting to think this trainer was extremely egoistic and got hurt too easily. Even I would have handled it better if ppl commented harshly. In fact, I wouldn't have even said anything lol. 

:-| World Champion? I doubt that. 

I looked up her full name and horses names she showed before. Usually world champions names or horses names would be either in a blog, magazine, records site, ect. But there was absolutely nothing on this "world champion" Id honestly like to see her ribbons and proof now. 

All I found out about her is that she is going to the same university as me, and her own blog about some kind of horse and pit bull management. 

When it boils down to it, I regret saying I want to take lessons with her, because now I don't. I do not want drama, or a trainer that can't take the heat if I critic on something that really isnt a big deal. If I were to say I didn't like using spurs, would she blow up in my face? I don't want to even risk that. 

I have decided to keep my distance from her, just show up every saturday to volunteer there, and go to a more professional barn that legitimately has shown on their website about their shows, ribbons, horses, bloodlines, and experienced trainers with degrees and proof of their success. It's more expensive, but I'm sure it will be worth it.

Another thing I have realized, $500 dollars for a horse is GREAT to adopt if your experienced with horses. But I'd rather get a 1,000 or 2,000 dollar horse that is fully broke and right for me as a first horse. I saw a woman last night own a horse from there that reared up at the farrier. She didn't know how to control it and kept pulling the lead wrong to control the horse. I tried to suggest it, but eventually the farrier just told her to hold the lead up closer and not far away or it wouldnt have much impact. Then, later she got kicked in the knee by the horse. ouch! I almost thought, if she could own a horse, why couldnt I lol. 

These things are all life lessons. In the beginning I wanted to waltz in there and be a professional, even fake it if I could and fall in love with a horse and adopt her. 

The reality is, you can't. lol 

That's why I decided to make this journal I guess. Even if I failed or succeeded, I wanted to show anyone wanting to own a horse even though they hadn't been riding in years or had only read books, that... even if u are like me who wants a horse more than anything, you just cant without lots of lesson taking from trainers or being completely alone with the horse and spending hours learning how to just put on a simplistic halter lol. I took lessons for one year under a professional, and another year with a man who really didn't teach me anything. I was paying to ride basically lol. I was getting the hang of things... stopped for two or three years, and forgot everything..

Its a hobby you have to upkeep to remember. I wish I could have but coming from West Virginia made me unable to. All the barns closed down around me. I couldn't even find a horse stable 100 miles away. literally. 

I guess if you wanted to, just do like the indians and learn it yourself. But with that comes more dangers and fatalities. 

I am going to call the barn I was looking at. It is 8 miles away from me! Yay for no wasting gas money much lol. My next update will be about my first lesson and second lesson there. I was planning to start in march but I just got refunded from a order online and will use that money to start in a few weeks. I am just going to tell them that I know how to walk, trot, canter, and groom a horse. But I just have forgotten everything else lol. Maybe I will be comfortable that way since they won't be expecting much out of me and it will come back to me unlike when I was nervous lol. 

I also plan on still sponsoring Shirley so she can put on a little more weight.


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## CowboysDream (Nov 12, 2011)

Wow totally different from yesterday!

I'm not sure why they freaked out on you for every little move. The only reason I could come up with was she was not conditioned for so much work. But you said other people rode her as well that day. 

I don't know if she would be doing any intense showing at her age to be honest, so there is no reason why she could not make a wonderful pleasure mount. I sometimes also worry about "wasting a horses full potential" but you know what... that is a load of bullcrap. The only reason they have "show potential" is because humans show. Although there are horses who love the show scene and love to show off. But there is no reason you couldn't get a horse that has "show potential". I think that as long as you are not over-horsed and you get along with the horse and can ride him/her and provide it with food, water, shelter and stimulation/work then the horse won't care if it is getting shown or not. 

I agree with getting a been-there and done-that sort of horse for your first horse. One that is patient and forgiving but can teach you something. After you have more experience you can get a horse that needs some work but is generally safe. And keep working up and gathering experience until you can handle a harder horse.

Don't give up! And keep us updated with your riding progress  One thing that horses taught me is patience


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## HorseTrance (Jan 26, 2011)

CowboysDream said:


> Wow totally different from yesterday!
> 
> I'm not sure why they freaked out on you for every little move. The only reason I could come up with was she was not conditioned for so much work. But you said other people rode her as well that day.
> 
> ...


Thanks for your comment =] it really helps. I have a problem with over-confidence. It only does me good if I'm in some kind of sports competition really. lol in any other ways, I tend to get smacked in the face by life haha. Little disappointing. 

I do feel Shirley would be a nice first horse for me because she listens so well to everyone. When I kept her at a trot and felt my tennis shoe slipping (because it was wet from outside still and didn't do well in the stirrup since the trainer had longer legs than me lol) she listened to my foot slip out of the stirrup and slowed down for me to fix it lol. She really is something. But everyone around me was talking about her potential and that they want to see her do this and that in the summer. I just was so turned off and realized I couldn't give her that. I'd be keeping her boarded there too, so I don't want to get hounded by them that I'm not doing much with her.. 

Im smelling drama haha so I won't get involved. I will just continue saving and doing lessons. 

I hope she goes to a good home. If I could, I would adopt her and board her elsewhere but, boarding elsewhere is too expensive for me as a college student. Unless, some magical fate happens where the new place I take lessons at offers me free or partial paying boarding in exchange for something lol.

That would have to be fate lol. Very rarely I hear of anyone doing that these days lol.


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