# Non-horse related????



## ShutUpJoe

We....Oh yea...We as in WE live together. It was supposed to be temporary. Only until I could save up the money to move out. The money grew by the week and still I hadn't packed a thing. Yet, I let him bring home his ….boyfr...... guy friend. Listening many nights as they had fun in the living room while I was “trying to sleep”. That is what the second bedroom was for. For me to sit lonely and on the verge of tears while they watched movies and ate organic popcorn. Like I could sleep through that. When Isaac left I would find myself climbing out of my bed and into his, neatly tucking myself under his arm. That's how it was supposed to be, before he told me about his new found sexuality. In the morning he would wake up with me beside him and tell me that we shouldn't be sleeping together. Sleeping together........several nights we made love. Each time I tried to make it better than the last, trying to bring him back. To rewind time. My how stupid of me. 


“I think we have some.” I eyed him, biting my lip. “I'm going to go make a call. My cell won't get service in here.”


He nodded at me and returned his gaze to the row of sweetners. I turned and walked away. I had to get out of that store. Had to get away from him and his probing eyes. When I walked outside I thought about lighting up a cigarette but the call was more important. Dialing my sisters number I leaned against the wall and put my head back on the cool bricks. Emotions started running through me. Hate, anger, disbelief, disappointment, excitement.....I hung up. Maybe she wouldn't understand. I let my hand fall as if the phone was to heavy and closed my eyes. Coward.


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## ShutUpJoe

Three...two...one. My phone played Beethoven. **** star 69. I almost didn't flip it open, but I need help. 


“Lo..Kay.” I mumbled.


“What's your problem?” She asked. I could hear her kids in the background screaming over something. 


“I need to talk.” I said, running my hand over my jeans, trying to smooth them.


She paused. “Barn in an hour?”


“Sure.” I replied and hung up.


I saw Kyle come out carrying two bags as I was pulling out my pack of cigarettes. Automatically I stuffed them back in my pocket and grabbed one of the bags. Sighing, he kissed me on my checks as we walked to my car. My car was the only thing in my life that made me feel proud. I had worked very hard to restore it and it showed. Sometimes I think my car is the only reason Kyle sticks around. The thought made me snap the car door shut with a loud thud. He looked at me for a second before jumping over the door and into the passenger seat, where he normally doesn't sit. 


The drive home was quiet. We didn't seem have much to say to each other lately. I pulled into our reserved spot and let him put the top up. The tension that passed between us during the drive made me jittery as I climbed the stairs to our apartment. All I could think about was getting all of this pint up emotion out. I nearly walked into our apartment without noticing the note. Probably because there was usually one there when we came back from doing something. A flash of anger shot up from the sight of it. I let it fade into my other emotions before Kyle could see. All the notes said was that Isaac had stopped by, he was sorry and wanted Kyle to call him.


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## ShutUpJoe

Ohh..that's right. They had an argument. Isaac had told Kyle that he didn't like his “Will and Grace” lifestyle and wanted me to move out. Kyle had answered him by shutting the door in his face. The corners of my mouth pulled up. After the argument Kyle climbed into my little twin size bed with me. The whole night I pretended things were how they used to be. 


I stole a glance at him as he started to put the groceries away. I tried to help him once but he got aggravated because I didn't know where he put things. After that I let him do it all, it made our lives easier. He was pouring sugar in it's container when I started toward my bedroom. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed what time it was. My heart sped as I remembered that I had to leave. Without even thinking about it I flung myself over the low divider bar in our kitchen, landing right in front of him. He gave me a startled as his eyes met mine. I almost gave up and spilled my guts to him right there. Instead I let a light smile cover my carefully kept emotions and gave him a gentle kiss. Before he could say anything I walked out the door. Kissing me wasn't appropriate anymore, to him anyway.


I almost didn't make the drive. For a minute I thought about going for a walk and finding a way to never come back. But Kayla would be waiting for me. She'd never let me down. So I couldn't let her down...I guess. So I started up the engine and headed out of the city and into the country.


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## ShutUpJoe

The house I grew up in was the third house on the left from the little grocery store. The one with the white picket fence and big red barn. When I pulled in my mom was standing there. She didn't act surprised to see me. Smiling she handed me a bucket of grain and some hay. I tried to pretend there was nothing wrong as I followed her down the row of horses. Kayla must have called her and told her that I was upset. She didn't even ask as she pointed to a stall. I threw the hay over the door and dumped the grain into the feed bucket, missing the old days. The little pinto mare inside nickered and let me pet her before she went to eat. 


Kayla pulled up after we had finished feeding all the horses. My mom has given up on patiently waiting for me to talk and went back into the house. I was sitting on one of the tack boxes when she walked up. Too numb to even think.


“Sorry I'm late I had to wait for Greg to get off work.” She looked at me. “I didn't want to bring the kids along.”


The emotions that had been building up bubbled. I couldn't help it. One look at the person that was there to help me and it all just came out. In the form of tears, but it came out none the less. I started sobbing like a baby. Quickly, she pulled me to her and started to brush her hand over my hair. My mind raced. I was in a spot that I felt there was no way out of. A boyfriend who no longer wanted me because I was the wrong sex. Heck, I didn't even know if he still loved me or not. Family and friends looking down on me because I was still clinging. Now........now I was lost in a shell of my former self. 


“What's wrong Amora? Is it Kyle.” Kayla asked.


“No....It's...” I sobbed. “I can't......I'm...”


“Whatever it is can't be that bad.” She said as she pulled me off her shoulder to look at me. I snuffed as snot and tears ran down my face. Wiping them away I nodded and cried some more. It was the end of the world as I knew it. Nothing anyone could do could ever fix my life. She paused. I never cry this bad. I didn't cry this bad when Kyle told me that he wasn't who he had put himself out to be. Pausing to regain my breath I looked at my sister. Her eyes narrowed and I imagined a light bulb going off in her head.


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## ShutUpJoe

“Oh my God...Amora...You're pregnant.” She let her jaw drop.


My face melted and I nodded. Kayla took her hands off my shoulders and stood back in shock. I could see her thinking over the situation. Her twenty year old sister pregnant by a gay man. 


“What are you going to do?” She asked, as tears welled up in her eyes.


I didn't have an answer and she knew it. All I knew was that abortion and adoption were out of the question. I would have to raise my baby, even if I did it alone. Kayla sat down on the tack box and I sat beside her. For three hours we talked. I cried. She promised to be there for me. I never wanted to go back home.


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## ShutUpJoe

Kyle


Confusion is a major part of my life. It was inane that I couldn't decide whether or not I wanted generic sugar or name brand. Did it make that much of a difference? I picked up the generic brand and started reading the back. My mind wandered to where my roommate went. Well, if you could call her that. A lot of other things came to mind....lover...girlfriend...whatever she was. I could have sworn she said something about the bathroom. Which struck me as odd, Amora never used the public restrooms. I don't know why I was so surprised...she had been acting strange lately. 


Which was probably my fault entirely. As usual. I really shouldn't have crawled into bed with her last night. In a way I knew that she would give me what I wanted. I mean she had her faults, don't get me wrong, but she was an excellent girlfriend. I saw her out of the corner of my eye and asked if we had any sugar at home. She mumbled something and then made an excuse to leave. Amora was a picky eater and usually stuck by my side when I did the shopping. I looked at my nearly empty cart and threw the sugar in, even though her mumble could have been no. There was too much stuff running through my mind to concentrate on shopping. 


Walking out with the groceries I saw her pulling out her cigarettes. I hated that she smoked, even though she had just recently started. She gave me a sheepish “I've been caught” look as she stuffed them back into her pocket. Her brown hair was pulled back into a pony tail and she was wearing one of my old jackets. God, she had matured since we first met. I couldn't help but give her a kiss...even though it was leading her on. But was it? When I really didn't know what I wanted? I could never stop having feelings for her but being with her and being with Isaac were just so different, I thought as we loaded the groceries into the trunk of her car and headed home. 


Living with Amora complicated things. I'd never ask her to leave because I couldn't imagine living without her. Maybe that makes me selfish....I don't know. All I know is that she's great company. Whenever I need someone to talk to or ride with I asked her first. Mainly because she never said no. Or it could be because she knew when I wanted to talk, when I wanted to listen and when I needed some peace. That is why it was so hard to live with her, but even harder to live without her.


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## ShutUpJoe

We drove in silence the whole way. When we got to the apartment she got out and reached for the bags. When she leaned over I noticed that her boobs seemed larger...maybe it was my imagination, I thought as I followed her up the stairs. I didn't expect there to be a note on the door because Isaac was holding onto the argument the night before. He wasn't a creature of habit, even though the note said what his other notes usually did. Folding it I put it in my pocket and walked into the kitchen. The sugar bowl was empty, like I had thought. I started to fill it in while I thought about calling Isaac. The only problem was talking to him in front of her. It always made me uncomfortable. Just as I was finishing Amora jumped over the bar. She nearly landed right on top of me. I took a quick step back to give her some room. Her face lit up and she pressed her lips to mine. I used to love that so much. The spark wasn't gone, just the desire behind it.


Before I could tell her not to do that again she left. Just like that, gone. Shrugging, I picked up my cell and dialed Isaac's number. 


“Hello.” I heard him say.


“I'm still mad at you.” I replied.


“Can we talk when I come over?” He asked.

I paused, just because. “Where are you at?”


“The gym.” 


“Grab something from Subway. I'm starving.” I demanded.


“Sure. Be there in an hour.” He said and hung up.


I walked into Amora's room and pulled one of her mirrors off the wall. Peeling the lining up I pulled out her diary. We used to communicate through it. I would read it and we would talk about what she had written. Then one day she moved it from between her bed frame and mattress, informing me that she didn't like me reading it anymore. I found it a few days later, but took to reading it only when there was something going on. We barely talked about certain things anymore and it was the only way I could figure out what she was thinking. I opened it to the last page she had written in. Feeling empty when I realized there wasn't anything new. 


About an hour later, after watching reruns on FOX, Isaac showed up. He made himself comfortable while I started eating. I should say he made himself comfortable and made me uncomfortable. His blue eyes watching me intently as I took each bite. 


Finally he spoke. “So...have you talked to her about moving out?”


“Isaac, I told you I don't want her to move out.” I grumbled, here we go again.


“How am I supposed to feel, Kyle? You are living with your ex-girlfriend.” He grimaced.


“There isn't anything going on between us anymore.” I lied.


“Your not convincing me. Why would you still want her to live here if there is nothing going on?” 


“I already told you,” I retorted. “She pays half the bills.”

“I'll move in and pay half the bills.” He cut in.


My heart sped. “Her name is on the lease.”


“Ask her to take it off.” He replied, like I was a child.


Anger surfaced. “We haven't been together long enough to live with each other.”


Isaac rolled his eyes. “Excuses, excuses.”


“Don't start with me.” I mumbled, as I pushed him lightly on his shoulder.


He scowled at me, but didn't bring it up again.


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## ShutUpJoe

-------Amora


Standing outside my apartment door I could hear them laughing. I loudly put my keys in the door and unlocked it. Kyle was sitting on the couch with Isaac. They were so close and I could tell they had been kissing. Both of their eyes met my face and they both instinctively knew that I had been crying. I could tell it in their eyes. My puffy tear stained face, that had not a hint of make up, gave me away. I smiled, said Hi and walked straight into my room.


Switching on the radio I threw myself on my bed. Glaring at the ceiling I pulled the test out of my pocket. Two bright pink lines stuck out at me like neon lights. Someone knocked on the door. I pretended I didn't hear it. Then it creaked open and I pushed the test into my pocket. Kyle came in and closed the door behind him. He turned down the volume on the radio and sat in the chair beside my bed.


“Can I come in?” He whispered. 


“Funny.” I replied dryly.


“Why were you crying?” He asked.


I choked. I couldn't help the tight feeling in my throat. “Something happened today and I don't know what to do about it. But it's my problem for now. Why don't you go enjoy yourself?”


“What happened?” He asked patiently.


“Trust me you don't want to know.” I said. I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to resurface.


“What if I do?” 


“Then...you'd be stupid. It'd ruin your day.” I croaked.


“Okay.......I'll be back in a little bit. When Isaac leaves you better be ready to talk.” He said as he walked out the door.


I was thinking of a million ways I could tell him. I could write him a letter, text him, e-mail him. So many ways....when I drifted off to sleep. Somewhere in my dream there was a phone ringing but I couldn't find it. I searched for it under the tons of blankets that I was walking on. I still couldn't find it. Then someone was calling my name.....


“Amora.....Hey, it's for you.” Snapped back to reality I starred up at Kyle, who was wearing only jeans. The smell of cologne hit my nose and I sat up.


“Hello.” I said into the phone. Kyle watched me intensely.


“Hey, are you awake?” The guy on the other line replied.


****...****...****...I forgot, I sat up. Kyle gave me a curious look. “I forgot Eric...I'm sorry. Can I have a rain check?” I asked slyly, keeping my eyes on Kyle. 


“Sure.... girl. Tomorrow? At the same time?” He replied coolly. “Be there or you'll break my heart.”


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## ShutUpJoe

“I'll be there. See you tomorrow.” I said as I hung up the phone.  


The headache hit me when I put the phone down. I had fallen asleep in my jacket with my head partly off the bed. 


“You forgot your date with Eric?” Kyle asked with a smile.


“It's not a date. He's just a friend.” I replied as I tried to rub the throbbing away. Pills were mandatory...asap.


“Oh...maybe I'll call him and see if that is what he thinks.” Kyle said as he grabbed the phone.


I jumped up automatically to grab it and instead got his arm. Pulling him down, we tumbled onto the bed. He grabbed my shoulder and pushed me away so that he could get the phone further from me. But I was too quick. I flipped over him, grabbed his hand and pulled at the phone. He laughed and tried to pull me around by my jacket. Which, of course, spilled all the contents onto the floor.


As the white stick tumbled to the floor I jumped off the bed. In a second I found it lying on my blue rug. Looking at Kyle I gently placed my foot over it. Boy was I surprised when I noticed that his attention didn't follow the white object. Instead he held up three little packages. His eyes narrowed and he looked at me. Crap....my condoms! I could see his line of thinking. We didn't use condoms because he didn't like how they felt. He knew they were for Eric. The same as I knew who his were for. I blushed a few shades of red. I don't know why, I hadn't actually slept with Eric...not yet, anyway. I just thought that if I did, it would help me...get over Kyle. 


I saw it in his eyes as he dropped the condoms. The thought that I was possibly sleeping with someone else hurt him. He let his gaze drop to the floor where my foot now covered the test. Tears threatened to spill over as I stared at the bed. 


“Amora....” He began.


I looked at him with great sorrow and regret. Just as he was about to say something Isaac called out from the living room. Kyle looked relieved as he walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I lifted my foot and picked up the test. Giving it a good once over, the edge of it was cracked now and the piece that covered the pee stick was broke. I stuffed it into my drawer and took off my jacket. The clock said it was almost midnight. At first I thought it was wrong. Isaac never stayed past ten. So I turned on my laptop to confirm the time, laying the condoms on my desk. What a day, I thought as I laid back in bed.


I had to get up in four hours to get ready for work, but I couldn't sleep. So I starred at the ceiling and let my mind numb itself. A few minutes later I heard Kyle talking. Then I heard someone shut the living room door as Kyle knocked on mine. I couldn't pretend to be asleep so I called him in. He sat down on the chair again. We talked for awhile. We argued. I walked over to my dresser and told him how I felt. Opening the drawer a little and I put my fingers around the stick. Should I?, I thought to myself. I couldn't....I didn't have the guts. Slowly I closed the drawer and turned around. Kyle was standing directly behind me and he took me into his arms. I let out a sob and relaxed against his shoulder. How am I ever going to get through this life if I'm not strong enough to get things done?


Kyle kissed the top of my ear and ran his fingers down my back. I knew what he wanted and I was to weak to object. I laid in bed with him. Letting him get whatever he asked for. I fell asleep in his arms, crying.


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## ShutUpJoe

-------- Kyle


Watching Amora practically run into her room I knew something was wrong. I untangled myself from Isaac who shot me a dirty look. I assured him that I'd be back as I entered her room. She was sitting on her bed, her face red and puffy. I sat on her chair and tried to talk to her. She wouldn't look me in the eye and kept avoiding my questions. It was so frustrating that she was being so stubborn. I wanted to know what the problem was. I wanted to know if her tear streaked face was my fault. I heard Isaac coughing in the living room. For a second I debated whether to stay and continue to talk to her. I could see that she had had enough for one day so I decided to try again later. Walking back into the living room I shot a dirty look at Isaac.


“What is her problem?” He asked, ignoring the look.


“I don't know.” I replied.


“She break up with her boyfriend?” He asked, sarcastically.


I swallowed. “If she told me something then I'd know.”


Isaac looked at me. “Okay, attitude.”
Slowly I worked myself into a comfortable spot on the couch. What was Amora's problem? Why was she so upset? I couldn't stop thinking about it. Several times I tried to finish watching the movie we had started but I couldn't stop thinking. Somewhere between being awake and falling asleep the phone started ringing. I fumbled over the back of the couch for it and pressed the talk button.


“Hello.” I grumbled into the phone.


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## ShutUpJoe

“Hey........Kyle?” The voice replied. The voice woke me up, it sounded familiar. 


“Who is this?” I questioned the voice.


“It's Eric.” He replied.


I sat up. “What do you want?”


“Where is Amora?” He asked.

I was suddenly confused and it took a minute for me to answer. “Hold on.”


I walked into her room, didn't even knock. She was lying across her bed with all of her clothes still on. One of her hands neatly tucked under head, which was hanging partly off the bed. Shouting her name I handed the phone to her. Not even giving her time to wake up all the way. I wanted to know why Eric was calling her. I stood there watching her. Not even pretending to want to leave. This was the same Eric that used to be my best friend. That was until news spread that I was with Isaac. I didn't even know that Eric and Amora were talking. 


When I realized that she had missed a date with him I almost grabbed the phone and told him that she couldn't go. But who was I to mess with her dating life.. She looked up at me like she was asking my permission. My permission to reschedule her date, mine? I couldn't think straight. She hung up the phone and looked at me. At first I wanted to scream at her WHY HIM!? But I couldn't let my emotions get the better of me. Teasingly I grabbed the phone from her, threatening to call him back. She tumbled over me as she tried to get it back. I caught the lining of her jacket pocket and everything flew out. Something white hit the floor and Amora immediately tried to hide it. Whatever that was couldn't have been worse than the pack of condoms that landed right in front of me. I picked them up and starred at them. 

We didn't use condoms because she was on birth control. That could only mean........My heart started to thump. I glared at her. There was no way that Eric and Amora were sleeping together. No way. No matter how confused I was I couldn't lose her to somebody like him. Eric was the type of guy who kept a check list on girls he wanted to sleep with. We used to bet how long it'd take him to get someone in bed with him.


I almost felt like crying. Her name escaped my lips, but I didn't know what to say to her. The tension was broken when we both heard Isaac call my name in the living room. I had forgotten that he was still on the couch..in the living room. Relieved I walked out of her bedroom.


“Did you forget I was in here?” He paused. “Or were you guys doing something?”


“Shut up.” I replied.
He narrowed his eyes.


“Isaac, I have to talk to her about something. I think you should just go home.” I informed him.


He must of thought we were arguing because he shrugged and gathered his stuff up. He quietly kissed me on the cheek before leaving. Silently I walked over to Amora's bedroom and gently knocked.


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## ShutUpJoe

“What?” She growled as I came in.


“Amora...I thought Eric and you were just friends?” I asked quietly.


“Why does it matter what we are?” She said flatly.


“It doesn't....I just thought.”

She cut me off. “You thought what? I'd stick around forever waiting for you decide what you want to do? Did you think other guys didn't know I existed?” 


“No, I just thought we'd be...I didn't think we would end.” I sighed.


“We didn't end because of Isaac.”


“That is different. Isaac is...” I stopped, registering that it wasn't, like a naive little puppy. “We.... you and me are so good together.”


“It doesn't matter how good we are together.” She mumbled, as she walked to her dresser.


“Yes it does. It matters to me.” I whispered. “How long have you guys.......”


“I haven't!” She sobbed, showing the hurt on her face. “I haven't done anything with him yet! Are you happy now?”

I felt like I had been smacked. “But you were going to?”


“I didn't know if I could. The condoms were....are just in case.”She replied. “Why does it matter to you? Kyle? You have Isaac. Why can't I have someone else?”


“Because....” I bit my lip. “because I still love you. I just don't know what I want anymore.” 


I starred at her as she stood by her dresser. She was hurting and I knew it, though I didn't know why. She had told me that she hadn't slept with Eric..yet. That should have been good news...instead it just confused me. If she had the condoms in her pocket and they were meant for that date then she intended to sleep with him. All of the feelings of possession came through. I wanted her with me more than ever. Maybe I was being selfish. Maybe I knew what I wanted all along. Why did it have to be so confusing? She was so good to me. At that point I had to have her. When I did it felt so good. Better than it had in a long time. 


I lay next to her in bed running my fingers through her hair. I started thinking about all that had happened. The questions started running through my head again. Why had she been crying? It couldn't have been because of Eric. Suddenly a thought came to me. I looked over at her desk and saw the pack of tampons that I had bought for her last month. Gently I lifted her off my chest and reached over for them. They were still unopened. My mind raced over the last month but I couldn't remember when her last period was. Fear ran up my spine as I thought about it all. Maybe....maybe Amora was pregnant?


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## Icrazyaboutu

Keep it going! I LOVE it!!


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## ShutUpJoe

If you want I can PM you the rest of what I have so far. It was explained to me by an agent that I shouldn't publicly post this if I want to publish it. But I can ask you to critique it via e-mail. Weird, I know, but I want to stay on his good side so I have to listen to him : ).


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## trIplEcrOwngIrl

You have a very nice qriting style, I too would enjoy reading the rest if you don't mind


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## Icrazyaboutu

Oh yes! Send it to me! I probably will only help spell check and punctuation wise because I like it and I wouldn't want to change anything to make it stink but send away!


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## farmpony84

I really like it. It's not a topic I've ever read before but I'm really enjoying it.


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## ShutUpJoe

Anyone who wants to read the rest of what I have so far can just pm me their e-mail : )


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## Icrazyaboutu

anymore recent stuff?


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## Lovehorsesandrunning

i like it too! your great at writing


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## ShutUpJoe

ok ok here you go

---Amora---


Beep.........Beep.........Beep. Something was getting very annoying in my dream. The mist was starting to lift. I could see the waterfalls coming off the mountains like the time my parents took me to Hawaii. It was so clear. But the annoying beeping wouldn't stop.


“Amora..wake up. You have to get to work.” Kyle said as he shook me.


“I don't wanna.” I mumbled.


“Yes you do. You love your job, remember.” 


I smiled without opening my eyes. Not as much as I love you, I thought. Sitting up I rested my head in my hands. I worked at a photography studio. Most of the time I did pictures of weddings and graduations. The owner of the company hired me before I had graduated high school. He helped me sign up for photography courses in college and was there taking pictures the day I graduated. I loved my job because my job was a huge part of my life. 


“Come on sleepy head. I'll help. You get a shower and I'll get your clothes out for you.” He says, as he pulls open the top drawer. 


I stopped breathing and sprang to my feet. Without even thinking I raced around the bed I slammed the drawer closed. Kyle yanked back his hands and stepped sideways. He didn't even try to hide the surprise on his face. I told him I could dress myself and made a joke about hiding something. He eyed me wearily as he walked out of the room. Opening the drawer I pulled out the test and pushed it under my mattress. I may be week but I'm not stupid, I thought. He had two hours before he had to be at work. It was obvious he would come back and look in the drawer. I hadn't thought about how he would take me guarding something I usually didn't care about. Just to make sure he didn't go searching around my room I wrote a fake number down and shoved it in the drawer. 


An hour later I pulled up outside the portrait studio. The receptionist waved to me and told me that my first appointment was already back in the camera room. I hung up my jacket and walked into the room. A little girl sat on the prop table. Her mom was wiping something off her face. I smiled at them and got the camera set up. The little girl was very cute. She was about a year old, with blue eyes and wavy long blond hair. I could tell this was going to be an easy session. 


“You must be Emily.” I said.


She smiled at me. 


“Okay. Let's get this show on the road.” 


I put the little girl in a wicker chair and gave her a teddy bear. Her mom had already filled out the papers saying what she had wanted when she scheduled the appointment. So the whole entire time she just sat there quietly watching her daughter and smiling. The form said “old fashioned style pictures” so I was going to do them all with our older props. The little girl looked cooperative as she sat there with the little bear on her lap. I clicked a few pictures and pulled out the old rocking horse. Just as I was lifting her onto the I smelled something. I don't know if it was something she had ate or something that the receptionist had but it made my stomach cramp. I put my hand to my mouth.


“I'll be right back.” I told the little girls mother as I rushed to the bathroom.


I was going to puke...I wasn't going to puke.....I was sooo going to puke. I made it to the toilet and just sat there. I wasn't going to puke. Heat flushed over my body. I slowly got up and bent over the sink. The urge to stick my head under the faucet was so overwhelming. My breath was shaky and my head was spinning. I let a good five minutes pass before I walked back into the camera room. The mom gave me an unsure look. 


“Do you want us to reschedule our appointment?” She asked.


“No. No.” I said. “What I have is not contagious. We can get this done in no time.”


She smiled at me like she knew what I was talking about. I know I blushed a deep shade of red. The rest of the session went without a glitch. After it was over I went out into the lobby. 


“Kelly. I'm not feeling too well. How many appointments do I have left?” I asked the receptionist.


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## ShutUpJoe

“Ummm...” She opened the appointment book. “Two and they are this afternoon. Do you want me to call Brad?”


I nodded. “Yes, could you do that for me? Tell him I'll be back to work tomorrow.”


She gave me a confused look but didn't say anything. I picked up my coat and purse and walked straight to my car. The cold air felt good. The seasons were changing and I was suddenly glad for the oddly cold day. For a second I didn't feel like going home. I was just going to sit in the car and wait until I stopped feeling dizzy. It started to get cold in the car so I started it up and headed home. A few blocks away the smell of skunk wafted through the heater and into my car. My stomach lurched heavily. I pulled over, opened my door and promptly threw up everything I had eaten for the past few days. After my stomach was empty of everything, and I mean everything, it contained I felt a lot better. Ignoring the mess I had made I shut the door and drove home. 


When I got to the apartment I nearly threw up again. Isaac had left a dozen red roses on the door step. There was a note on them that said “I'm sorry”. Gag. Stepping over them I unlocked the door and went straight to the couch. On the way I thought about taking a shower but the couch seemed like a much safer idea. Turning the TV on I shoved a pillow under my head and quickly passed out. 


Kyle found me lying on the couch, softly snoring away. The next thing I knew I was being bounced off the couch because he had jumped on it. It was the worst thing he could have done. As soon as he landed I launched myself into the bathroom to say hello to our porcelain bowl. Kyle was in the doorway right after me, watching me get rid of stomach fluid. He asked me if I was okay. Rolling my eyes I sarcastically told him I was. Giving him the evil I pushed past him and sat back down on the couch. He grabbed the remote and changed the channel to the news. I could feel the tension rolling off of him and it made me uneasy. Finally he got up from the couch and went into his bedroom with the phone. Probably calling Isaac about the flowers, I thought as I laid back down. 


Putting my hand on my belly I started to think to myself about what was really happening. I was going to have a baby. This was going to be my baby. Would I be a good mom? Would I be able to protect the baby? Was he going to be there? I heard the click of his bedroom door as he shut it. Looking up I saw him come into the room. He sat down beside my legs and starred at me, blankly.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

“I just got off the phone with your sister.” He said. 


I swallowed. “And?”


“She won't tell me anything. Turns out she knows something, of course, but she won't tell me what it is.” He said.


Of course, I thought. “How do you know she knows something?”


“Well, because she told me to ask you.” He replied.


I blushed. “She probably just meant that if there was something you should ask me.”


“What if I know there is something?” He commented.


“What do you think you know?” 


“I don't know what it is...but I should.” He replied quietly.


This could be my chance to tell him....but I couldn't. “It's nothing. I just don't feel good. It might be the stress of the past few months or something.”


He paused. “Okay. Well...I got to get back to work. You stay, relax and get better. Isaac isn't coming over today so we can talk.”


He kissed me on the forehead and walked out the door. When he was gone I sat up to get my cell. Before I could dial my stomach started growling. I realized that I hadn't eaten anything at all. I settled with an apple and a bottle of water. Taking a bite I punched the numbers into my phone.


“Amora....why aren't you at work?” My sister answered, without even saying hello.


“I'm sick.” I replied.


“Ohhh...... You know your Kyle would make a great husband.” She stopped herself. “Well.. if he wasn't gay and all. He is extremely intuitive.” 


“I know he is. What did he ask you?”


“He asked me if you were upset about Isaac. He asked if you had something going on with Eric. He asked why you were sick. Hell, he asked all sorts of things.” She paused. “Then he said he was going to be late for work and hung up.”


“What did you tell him?” 


“I told him I would be upset about him and Isaac if I were you. BUT I didn't know if you were.......I said that I haven't heard anything about you and Eric. I told him you'd better stay away from him, he's trouble and you know it. I told him that if he needed to know what was wrong he should ask you.” She explained.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

Crap...Eric. “Hey. I'll call you back. I need to cancel a date again.” I exclaimed and hung up before she could say anything.


I dialed Eric's number, hoping that he wouldn't answer. 


“Hello?” Darn it.


“Hey...uh.... I'm not feeling well. Can we go out some other time?” I mumbled.


“No. You must come tonight. I have reservations and a tux!” He whined, jokingly.


“Okay, I'll come if you provide the barf bag. I think I caught something from one of the kids at work.” I said, adding a fake cough.


He paused. “Ick. How about I come over and sit with you tonight? We can order pizza and watch a movie?”


Kyle was supposed to talk to me after work. Kyle or Eric...Eric or Kyle? Oh..how lovely to see the expression on Kyle's face when he finds his ex-friend here. Kyle could talk to me until Eric came. “Fine. But if you catch something it's not my fault. Come around seven?”


“I'll be there.” He said and hung up.


The rest of the day went by rather slow. I got a call from my boss asking if I was okay and when I'd be back to work. I told him I was sure I could come in the next day because it was just a few clients. I explained to him the real reason, he deserved to know. It felt odd that he was the first person to congratulate me. Thanking him I hung up and stretched out on the couch in front of the television. 


About ten minutes before four Kyle walked in carrying a Walmart bag. I couldn't even remember the last time he had been to a Walmart. He sat down beside me and put the bag on his lap.


“I want you to promise me something, Ams. Promise me that you'll do me a favor?” He begged.

My heart skipped. “What sort of favor?”


“Just promise me.” He pleaded.


At this point I actually didn't know what to think. My eyes were trained on the bag but my mind was a million miles away. For one stupid moment I thought he was using a Walmart bag to disguise an engagement ring. The curiosity of it had me. “I promise.” I stupidly replied.


“I want you to take this into the bathroom.” He said, as he pulled out a pregnancy test.


I could have sworn I fainted. It felt like I did. My heart was pounding and tears were already building up. At the precise moment I looked into his eyes I knew that he knew. I knew that he just needed confirmation. Heat overtook my body. It was almost more than I could bare. I did however manage to speak.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

“Ugh.” Well sort of.


“Are you afraid?” Kyle asked.


“Af...fraid?” I muttered, wishing I was dreaming.


He grabbed me by the arm and half pulled me into the bathroom. I could tell he was nervous. He fumbled with the box the test was in. The test was an EPT, it was twice as expensive as the one I had bought. Kyle quickly read the directions and took off the plastic end.


“I don't think the test would have the same affect if I peed on it...” He said. I noticed I hadn't moved from the spot he had pulled me to. I shifted. “Come on, you aren't going to make me pull down your pants are you?”


I shook my head and slowly pulled down my jeans. Now was the moment of truth. Sighing, I sat on the toilet. On one hand I was more frightened than I had ever been in my life...on the other I was glad that he would finally know the truth. I took the test from him and held it where it needed to go. It took awhile to summon up the courage to pee in front of him. When I finally did I handed him the test and walked out of the bathroom, past him and into my bedroom.


Glancing at the clock beside my bed I knew it wouldn't take long. The one I had taken in the bathroom at the grocery store only took a few breathless seconds. I heard him slam something and curse. I was so numb, not being able to cry or even think. I just sat there starring at the door.


He came in and sat down on my bed, in front of where I was standing. Tears fell down his face. He held the test tightly in his hand. I didn't know what to tell him. I could have said that it was my fault. I had stopped taking birth control when I found out he was seeing Isaac. I could have told him it was his fault because he was the first to ask for sex. All I could do was collapse into his arms and onto his chest. He hugged me for dear life and I felt safe enough to finally cry with him.






---Kyle


I woke up about an hour before Amora's alarm clock was supposed to go off. My head hurt from thinking so much. I knew I was just trying to find another reason for what was going on. Anything but what actually had me up all night. For the first half hour I just sat there and starred at her. Wondering if she knew something that I didn't know. I wanted so badly to get to the bottom of all of this. I was almost itching inside. I got up and took a real quick shower, hoping to clear my head. Leaning against the wall of the shower I heard Amora's alarm go off. I called out to her as I slowly got out of the shower. She didn't answer. I tried to raise my voice, which made my head hurt even more, as I pulled on my boxers. She didn't wake up. I walked into her room and shook her.


A little drop of saliva hit her pillow as she slowly woke up. She complained about he job as she wiped it away. Shaking my head I reminded her that she loved her job. I could tell by the smile that she didn't need the reminder. I walked over to her dresser to help her get ready. Sometimes I put her clothes away, so I knew where everything went. Yanking open the top drawer I started to grab a pair of pants. I heard her get up and I looked over my shoulder to see what she was doing. She looked like she had seen a premonition. She reached toward the drawer. For a split second I forgot my fingers were pretty much still in there. I yanked them up and moved away from her. What gives? What's in the drawer?


“I can do it. I want to wear something specific.” She exclaimed.


“What's wrong with you? You have a diary I don't know about?” I asked.


“Yes...” She laughed. “A dairy that could make millions in book stores.”


“Ohhh....K.” I said. “Well... Guess I'd better get off to work. Wouldn't want to miss the release of your diary.”


I walked into my room and shut the door behind me. I couldn't shake off the feeling that something was terribly wrong. Hearing her take a shower I tried to remember when her last period was. Not being able to remember scared me. I jumped when she yelled goodbye and walked out of the apartment. When she left I walked into the bedroom and pulled the top drawer open. Shuffling her socks around I found a little slip of paper with some guy named Austin's number on it. I was expecting to see a new diary or maybe even something saying she was pregnant. Maybe after how I acted toward the condoms she didn't want me to get upset about another guy.


After I got dressed and got into my car I started to feel confused. The mystery of her last period was riding on my mind. Usually when she was on her period she'd sleep in her room. She hated having sex while she was on her period. I was so caught up in Isaac that I forgot when she usually started. 


As I turned onto the road where I worked I saw Walmart. I knew it was there but never really had the urge to go inside. Without a second thought I pulled in and walked inside. I walked straight to the pregnancy tests. Suddenly I felt out of place. I had never liked large chain stores. They just creeped me out. Grabbing a test, I quickly walked to the self check out. I don't even remember what type of test I grabbed. Although I did notice that it said 99% accurate on the front of the package. That must mean something, I thought.


I had only been working here for a little over a year. Unlike Amora I wasn't into college and after getting several certificates I decided that I would rather work than stay in school. I took a job at a major bank, in correspondence with several automobile dealerships, where I kept records and made those rude calls everyone hates, reminding them their payment is late. The only reason I liked the job was because it paid well and I was hoping I'd get a huge discount on a new car. I went through the beginning of the day totally zoned out. I had to work out a list of people to call. The list began with people who had a month before their cars were going to be processed for re-possession. It ended with people who were only a few days past their grace period. After an hour of starring blankly at the compute screen I decided to go home for lunch early. Looking at the clock I noticed I had fifteen minutes until I could clock out for lunch. I had to get out of here. Grabbing my jacket I walked out the back door and climbed into my car.


I drove home with only one thing on my mind. When I pulled into my spot I noticed that Amora's car was there and wondered what was going on. I ran up the steps. There were flowers on the porch from Isaac. At first I was going to just leave them there but thought better of it and took them in with me. Aamora was asleep on the couch snoring like a train. The sudden urge came through me to surprise her. I flung myself over the edge of the couch and sent her flying. Pure shock crossed her face. She turned a clear white and raced to the bathroom. She started wretching before I even made it to the doorway. My stomach turned as I watched her grabbing the edge of the toilet.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

“Wow!...Are you Okay?” I asked.


“Fine. Well. Now at least. Don't bounce me around like that. I don't feel good.” She said, sounding almost sarcastic.


“I was wondering what you were doing home.” I mumbled, sitting back down on the couch.


She looked at me. “Yea, I thought it'd be safe if I didn't give anyone my germs.”


“Do you need anything? Chicken soup? Seven Up? A bucket?” I teased. Or a pregnancy test, I thought.


She sat on the couch and pushed her legs behind me. Trying to keep from asking her if she was pregnant I turned on the news. Too much crap was racing through my mind to pay attention. I couldn't process a thing the reporter was saying. Irritated, I got up and made myself a sandwich and grabbed a pop. I needed to talk to somebody and Amora wasn't that person. Walking into my bedroom I dialed her sister's number.


“Lo?” I heard the tension in her voice.


“Hey, Kayla...It's Kyle.” I offered.


“There is a such thing as caller I.D. Kyle.” She replied flatly.


“Oh...Uh...Hey. Do you know what is going on with Amora?” I asked. Half knowing she wouldn't tell me if she did know anything. Half hoping she would tell me anyway.


She paused. “What do you mean?” 


“Uh...She has been acting kind of...odd lately. She won't tell me anything. I was just wondering if maybe she told you...something?” I hoped out loud.


“Odd?” She asked.


“I mean...Is it me? Is she mad at me or something?” I said, avoiding the real questions. Just tell me, I thought.


“Hell, I'd be mad at you if I was her. You are seeing a guy and keeping her on the side. I don't know if she is still mad about all of that but I would be. Do you eve know what you're doing?” She pushed.


I winced. I didn't want to be preached at. “Is there something going on between her and Eric?”


“Why would you think that?” I heard her switch the phone to her other ear.


“He called her last night. Something about a date.” I began. “I thought maybe she was seeing him or something....”


“Oh God! I hope she doesn't even go there.” Kayla gasped. Eric and her had something going on in high school. It didn't last long and it practically ruined my relationship with Amora. “Kyle..If you want to find out something from her maybe you should ask her.” She stated.


I took a bite of my sandwich. “You know she won't tell me anything if she thinks it'll affect me.”


“Well...Do you expect me to tell you?” Kayla asked simply.


“I was hoping you would.” My mind raced. “So there is something?”


She took a deep breath. “Ask her Kyle. Don't ask me. The most I can tell you is that she needs you.”


I shook my head. “I know she does. I just wish I knew why.”


“Well.... I have to get off here and give this child of mine a bath.” She said. 


“Okay. Thanks.” I said and hung up.


I ate the rest of my sandwich and walked into the living room. Trying to get Amora to tell me what was going on. I told her that I called her sister. She still wouldn't tell me anything. I felt frustrated, frightened and confused. I made her promise to wait up for me until I got off work. Hating myself for not bringing the test in when I saw that she was home, I closed the door behind me. I just needed to know and it was driving me crazy. I punched my car door as I got in. It didn't make things better.....how could I be so stupid?
Work went extremely well when I started calling people. For some reason me being so frustrated gave me the ability to deal with rude people. Where I usually tried to help them out, I was telling them plainy how it was. Suddenly, I was getting more results from the customers who wanted to keep their cars. I got the list finished early and told my boss that I was going home. The Walmart bag was tucked in between the front seats. My hand was on it the whole entire time. When I got home I opened the door and walked up the steps. I needed to know what was going on and I need to know now.


Without even hesitating I walked right in the front door and sat down next to Amora. I asked her for the biggest favor I could ever picture myself asking. The look on her face was a little curiosity mixed with fear. She wanted to know what was in the little brown bag that I had in front of her. Half trusting me, she agreed and promised me that she would do whatever I asked of her. My breath quickened as I pulled out the test. Her body went stiff. I told her to take into the bathroom. I could see her the moisture in her eyes as the color drained from her face. I knew that she must of at least thought of the possibility because she looked so frightened of the little box. 


Suddenly I wanted to rewind time. I didn't want to be in this position. I felt like the birds were going to stop singing outside of everyone's windows and there would never be a rainbow again. Like all the happiness in the world was paused. Quietly I asked her if she was scared...because I knew I was. I could feel the tension that had quickly grown between us.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

Grabbing her gently by the arm I pulled her into the bathroom. Shaking, I almost dropped the test twice as I tried to open it. Passing over the instructions I handed the applicator to her. It didn't seem to hard. It didn't seem like something that could change my life forever. Amora was shaking beside me....Make that change our lives forever.


“You aren't going to make me pull down your pants are you?” I nervously asked. 


Shaking her head she pulled down her jeans and took the test out of my hand. I sat there starring at her, or past her, trying to think about something else...without success. It took her while to pee on it and when she did she practically threw the test at me and ran out of the bathroom. I placed the plastic piece on the part that she had peed on and placed the test on the bathroom sink. Within a matter of second two lines appeared in the little window. At first I was relieved because I honestly thought two lines meant that she wasn't pregnant. I picked up the box and flipped I over. Horrified I realized my assumption was wrong. I dropped the test and fell back into the bathroom wall. The corner of the sink jabbed into my side.


“****!” I yelled, out of shock and frustration.


I got up and picked up the test. Looking at it again I willed the lines away. Why didn't she tell me? Did she already know? Why did it have to be this way? What did I do wrong? I walked out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind me, and into her bedroom. She was standing by her bed and all I could think to do was sit down before I fell. I don't know where the tears came from but they were suddenly dripping down my face. 


I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell her I was sorry that I hadn't been there when she needed me. I wanted to ask her how this could of happened. I wanted to tell her that I didn't know what I wanted to do. But all I could do was sit there and let the pain take over me. She curled herself into my lap and I wrapped my arms around her. Holding onto her because she needed it as mush as I did. She let the tears come and I hear her mumble that she was sorry.




~Amora~




I guess we fell asleep just like that. On the floor in each other's arms. We didn't hear the knocking and in his hurry to find out the truth Kyle had left the door opened a little. Isaac let himself in and he found us laying together. The positive test lying right beside Kyle's hand. The mostion of him coming into my room wake me. Starring at him I pressed myself off Kyle. Isaac was a handsome guy, with dark almost blue black hair and bright brown eyes. He stood well over six foot and when he was angry you could tell it on his face. He looked from the test to me and his stance changed.


“Is it Kyles'?” He asked.

I didn't know how to reply. I was afraid of what he'd do if I told him. I used the hand that I was propping myself up with to nudge Kyle....but he didn't stir.


“Is it his?” He asked again, adding force. 


That woke him up. He shifted himself so he could see what was going on. He looked from Isaac to the test and then to me. Shocked that Isaac was there he grabbed the test and stood up. Isaac changed his expression to disgust or disgrace, I couldn't tell. He kept his eyes on me for a second and then moved them to Kyles'.


“Is it yours?” Isaac said, almost to the point of desperation. His ears moved back as he tensed his jaw.


“Isaac....I...” Kyle began. Isaac didn't give him a chance. He walked up to Kyle and smacked him right across the face. Kyle's face flung to the side. He let it stay there. Isaac gave me a dirty look. Bringing himself to full height he mumbled something about me being a **** and walked out. Kyle looked at me. I could tell he could see the utter shock that was displayed on my face. A loud crash made me jump.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

“It's okay.” He said as his jaw ticked, where a red welt quickly formed.


He walked out of my room and into the living room. Stopping dead when he got to the couch. Apparently on his way out Isaac decided to ruin the flowers he had given Kyle. They were splayed across the floor and the glass vase they had been in lay broken in the middle of them. Water and pedals were everywhere and the front door was wide open. I quietly closed it and started to pick up the roses. Kyle walked up behind me.


“Are you sure it is mine?” I heard him whisper.

“Kyle.” I turned to him. How disappointing could he get? “You are the only guy I have ever....EVER...slept with. Whether you believe me or not is your choice. I can do this on my own or I can do it with you.”


“Do what?” He asked.

“Raise OUR baby.” I shot at him. He winced.


“You...You are going to have it?” He questioned.


I was thoroughly shocked. Anger flashed through me. How many times had I told him that I could never have an abortion? Does this person even know me anymore? “Kyle?”


“I don't know Amora. I don't know what to do.” Kyle stammered with his head down. The angry red mark flashing across his face.


“You?” I exhaled. “You don't know what YOU are going to do? Well... I know what I AM going to do.”


Kyle slowly looked down at the test in his hand. What was he thinking?, I wondered. Was he thinking about the same things that I did? “Kyle...this is your son or daughter we are talking about. If you decide in the future you don't want to be with m.... a woman this might be your only chance to have a legitimate child.” His eyes softened as he continued to stare at the test. “You know this doesn't have to mean we have to be together. If you are happier with Isaac all you have to do is say something.”


He wagged his head back and forth. “I don't know what I want now. This complicates things.”


He starting throwing questions at me. Wasn't I using birth control? Why didn't I tell him I was late? Those questions didn't bother me as much as when he asked me if I had known. I didn't know what to say. I just sat there starring at him. There was a knock on the door. For a brief moment I thought it might be Isaac coming back until I suddenly remembered Eric. Kyle got up and answered the door before I could. There stood Eric, complete with a teddy bear and a card. I could imagine myself years from now looking back on the moment and laughing out loud. But it wasn't funny. Kyle's face sunk as if Eric had broken his heart.

“Amora Lynn, did you not tell Kyle I was coming?” Eric said with a cocky smile.


Looking down I realized that I had not brushed my hair or put make up on. I blushed. “I forgot. I must of slept too long.”


Eric saw all the water on the floor. Thankfully that kept him from seeing Kyle shove the test in his pocket. Kyle walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead. “I'm going to go. We can talk when I get back.”


I nodded and smiled politely as he walked out. Eric handed me the bear with the Get Well card and we sat on the couch. I read over the card and thanked him for it. Even though the message was cheesy and didn't really apply to anything.


“Well...where do you want pizza from?” He asked.


“You order it. I'm not picky.” I replied.


He shrugged his shoulders and picked up the phone book. Eric ordered a supreme with garlic bread. I decided that I would have to mention to him later that I didn't really like supreme pizza. But I had told him I wasn't picky, so I kept my mouth shut. 


“Do you want to order a movie or watch TV?” He asked.

“Let's put something in.” I suggested. 
I handed him the first movie that lay beside the television and he put it in. My mind was so mentally exhausted that I couldn't pay real attention to what we were watching or what was going on. I don't even know how I was staying awake. When the pizza came I was almost asleep on the arm of the couch with my feet neatly tucked on Eric's lap. I sat up as he handed me a piece and he started talking about how much he hated high school. I tried to contribute to the conversation but I couldn't even keep track of what he was saying. Instead I sat there quietly and nodded my head while I attempted to stomach the greasy not nearly done slice of pizza he had given me. 


It felt like forever when he finally told me he had to go. He leaned in like he was going to kiss me. My stomach threatened me with a sharp pain. I must have changed a few shades of grey because he backed off and just took my hand. 

“I'm sorry you're not feeling good.” He said. “Hope you get better.”


“Me, too.” I told him. “Sorry I was such a bore.”


“No. Not at all. I'll call you.” He said. I closed the door behind him. 


Kyle woke me in the middle of the night. It must have been lat because I was still exhausted. He picked me up and carried me into his bed. I felt him put his hand on my stomach before I drifted off.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

------------Kyle


I didn't remember falling asleep with Amora in my arms. I did remember waking up to Isaac's angry face. His eyes were filled with anguish. At first I didn't comprehend why he was so upset. I thought maybe it was because he had founding us asleep together. Then it all came back to me. The anxiety, the test, the tears... all of it flooded over me. I looked down at the test. For a moment I just wanted to disappear. Isaac interrupted my thoughts. He wanted to know if it was mine. I knew it was. In my heart I knew that Amora had not slept with anyone else. Lowering my head, I told him that I was sorry, even though I wasn't. This had nothing to do with him.


Before I could even explain myself he stepped over to me and slapped me across the face. I felt my head snap to the side as the sting of his hand took over. I heard him call Amora a ****. As soon as the words came out of his mouth I felt like killing him. He left before I could do anything. I heard him throw something glass. The sound ripped through me like a thousand knives. How can my mind handle so many emotions at once?


When I walked out into the living room I nearly screamed in frustration. The flowers that he had left me earlier lay scattered across the floor. It was a veritable “I love you not” smacking me right where he had hit me. Amora started to pick up all of the pedals as I sat down at the table. I know that I shouldn't take my anger out on her but I needed to know what was going on. I asked her about the baby being mine. For a second disappointment flashed across her face and I thought that she was going to leave me too. She wanted to have the baby, she told me. I was glad that she did but I was unsure why.


“I'm having this baby with or without your help.” She threw at me.


I thought that over. “How did you get pregnant, Amora? I thought you were on birth control? How did this happen?”


She grew somber. “I stopped taking birth control when you introduced me to Isaac. I didn't think I'd need it anymore.”


“You missed your period?” I half asked, half assumed. 


She nodded slowly. “The last one.”


I put my hands on my knees. “So you already knew?”


She didn't answer and I was going to question her again when someone knocked on the door. Protectively I went to the door, thinking it was Isaac. I pulled it open quickly. When I saw who it was my heart sank. I shoved the test in my pocket and glared at him. He stepped past me with his stupid bear. If my mind would have been with me I would have heard what he said. All that crossed me was his cocky tone. I wanted to tell him that she was pregnant with my baby. See how he liked that. He had no right to be here. Instead I did what a coward would do..I left.


I started up my car and drove. It didn't matter where I went or how long it took to get there, I just needed to drive. Thoughts of me being a father kept running threw my head. I swerved into the other lane and cursed. What was I going to do? 


Amora obviously wanted to have and keep this baby. In a way that made me happy. The thought of her ending it or giving the baby up was hard to process. But Amora as a mother or.... me as a father... That thought hadn't been a possibility. I had no doubt that Amora would be a good mother. I had no doubt the baby would have everything it needed.... Except..maybe me. Would I be a good father? Did I even want to be?


----------



## farmpony84

....still reading!.... It's pretty good.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

Someone behind me honked. I looked up and saw that I was still sitting at a light which had turned green I don't know how many times. I pulled into the grass so he could go around me. I got out and sat on the hood of my car. I was alone beside a big corn field in the middle of no where. For a second I thought about just disappearing. Never coming back. But where would that leave Amora? Or my family?... Or the baby? 


My breath caught in my throat. Maybe I deserved this... maybe it was all my fault and I drug everyone else into it. Tears fell down my face. I tried to wipe them away with my sleeve. All the people who loved me and I finally realized that I barely loved myself. It was kind of an epiphany...if you want to call it that. Kind of like I just realized how selfish I had been all along, but I don't know how keen I was to change my life. All I knew was that I had to get home. I had to get back to Amora. I need her beside me.


------Amora


Kyle had asked me to sleep in his bed with him every night since he had found out. He still saw Isaac as far as I knew but Isaac didn't come over anymore. I didn't bother to ask him what he was going to do. Probably because I knew that he didn't know what he wanted to do. I was just happy that he was acting like my boyfriend, instead of Isaacs'. Although things were changing in a good way I still could feel tension between us. It was the simple things that caused it for me. Like the fact that my first doctor's appointment was coming up and he hadn't mentioned it. I even had it marked on my calendar. Which made me worry that I was going to have to go alone.


There were still a lot of things that returned to normal. Kyle spent more time with me now that he wasn't seeing Isaac as much. We did things we haven't done in awhile. He hardly ever mentioned the baby and this day had been no different. Kyle and I were sitting on the couch when the phone ran. Kyle grabbed it before I could.


“Hello.” He said. I watched his expression change and I figured it wasn't good news. He handed me the phone. “It's for you.”


“Hello.” I mumbled into the phone. Keeping my eyes on Kyle.


“Hey girl!” It was Eric. “You got plans tomorrow night? I haven't seen you in awhile and I got two movie tickets.”


Kyle was starring at me intently. I blushed. “Tomorrow night?” Kyle shrugged his shoulders. “Uh... sure I'll come.”


“Great. I'll pick you up at seven? Be ready, Kay?” He said.


“Kay.” I said and hung up.


Kyle looked at me for a minute and sighed. “Just friends?”


“Kyle, if you have a problem with me going out with him why didn't you just say so?” I exclaimed.


“I just don't want to see you get hurt.” Kyle replied.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

I gasped, I had too. “You don't want to see me get hurt by someone other than you?”


I saw him thinking that over. “If you don't want to stick around you don't have to.”


“I want us to be a normal couple again. But I guess that is never going to happen, is it?” I said flatly.


“It might.” He said.


“It might not.” I replied, as I got up and walked into my bedroom.


I needed to give him something to think about. After I changed into my pajamas I lay in bed thinking about things. Trying to keep my mind off of Kyle. I had started a list of baby names. If it was a girl I was thinking of calling her Amelia or Lacey. If it was a boy I wanted to name him Devon Austin Moore. Then it occurred to me that the baby might not have Kyle's last name. I mean he was trying to be there...but to me it felt like more pretending than him actually wanting to.


----------



## lacyloo

More please! LOL


----------



## ShutUpJoe

Kyle


I couldn't get my head straight to think about what I wanted to do. Having Amora next to me made it a little bit easier. Watching her sleep and knowing that my child was growing inside of her was starting to look like a real miracle. Although, something inside of me didn't want to think of it that way. I didn't want to be tied down like that. I had a lot of youth left and a part of me didn't want to spend it raising a baby. I never brought it up because I knew Amora was adamant that she keep the baby. The other part of me was elated that she was so persistent. 


The worst part of it was that I had Isaac in my ear about talking her into an abortion or adoption. He even brought up telling me to tell her that I didn't want any part in it. That made me start thinking about how I didn't want to abandon my child. I couldn't do that to Amora either. I had already caused enough turmoil in her life. It was time I made a decision.


After work one day I decided to go over to the gym where Isaac works. I caught him flirting with some older guy. It amazed me that it didn't even matter. I didn't care and I totally blew it off. I would have never blown it off if it would have been Amora. I sat there watching him until he noticed me. Almost as if on purpose he grabbed the other guys shoulder and gave him a flirty smile. When he strutted over to me he reminded me of a rooster.


“What was that about?” I asked with a stone face.


“Just an old friend.” He replied.


“Want to go get lunch?” I asked.


“Sure. Umh. Just let me change out of these clothes and tell the boss.” Isaac replied. 


He didn't need to tell the boss anything. His boss was his mother's boyfriend, for God's sake. Frustrated I sat in the entrance when I would usually follow him. The stress of the past few days was showing on my face. Stubs of hair grew out and bags showed under my eyes. I must look straight as a board because usually when I was at the gym guys noticed me. They just walked straight past like I didn't


----------



## ShutUpJoe

exist. Perfect, I thought. 


“Ready?” Isaac asked as he walked toward me.


“Yep.” I replied.


We walked about a block and a half to our favorite sub place. I didn't feel much like eating but I knew Isaac would know something was up if I didn't eat. So I ordered a combo and we sat in a corner booth. I looked at Isaac. I took a real hard look. All sorts of things ran through my mind. The most common of which was if it was worth the fight to be with him. What had his relationship contributed to my life?


“Kyle, you look awful. You should shave.” Isaac noted.


“I've been ...stressed lately.” I replied, remembering that he hadn't seen me in a few days.


“Yea..” He mumbled. “I told you to tell her that you didn't want anything to do with... it anymore.”


“I can't do that to her, Isaac. It's mine, too.” I said. I watched him wince.


“What are you going to do then?” He asked, inquisitively.


“I'm going to marry her.” I said to the table.


Isaac sat back in his chair. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened. “Wow!” 


“Let's face it. I'm not as gay as I put myself out to be.” I tried to explain. “I can never let go of her completely. I can never just go on living my life knowing that she has my child. That some other guy might raise it or that she'll be raising it by herself. Without my help.... I couldn't live with myself. Not if I talked her into an abortion, not even if she agreed to adoption. Besides no one in my family would let me talk her into giving the baby up anyway.”


“Wow.” He said, again.


“The only reason I even tried to be with you at first was because I was curious.” I went on. 



He opened his mouth like he was going to say wow again. “I don't think you understand the level of commitment you are setting yourself up for. Are you sure you want to do this?”


“Have I ever known what I want?” I asked earnestly.


Isaac shook his head. “I'm not going to be around when you change your mind.”


“I don't expect you to be.” I retorted.


Isaac rolled his sub in it's wrapper. “I'll see you around Kyle.”


“Yea.” I glumly replied. 


“Good luck.” He said, as he walked out.


I let the door close behind him without even caring. He didn't matter to me anymore. The only thing that mattered was what was coming.


----------



## emilyanne

I'm enjoying the story, please add more


----------



## ShutUpJoe

---------------------Amora




The next day I didn't wake up feeling nauseous. I felt hungry for the first time in weeks. Kyle watched me suspiciously from the kitchen table as I got out a frying pan. He usually cooked. I usually watched. Obviously the change in roles bothered him. He sat on the edge of the seat, every few seconds offering to help. I put some of the pancakes on his plate and handed it to him. He looked at my plate and then his. 


“You really haven't been eating well lately.” He stated.


“I haven't felt well lately.” I retorted.


“Don't you think you should eat more...”, He paused. “healthy?”


Who did he think he was? I glared at him for a moment. Taking his plate I dumped his pancakes on top of mine and poured syrup on them. “Happy?”


“You didn't have to get angry.” He replied as he picked up his plate and put it in the sink.


“You didn't have to talk to me like a child.” I whispered. He pretended he didn't hear me and went to get ready for work. 



After I left for work the syrup started weighing heavy on my stomach. I didn't throw them up but my taste for syrup and anything that had to do with them vanished. It didn't surprise me because a lot of stuff that I ate ended up that way. Suddenly I had tastes for odd things that I normally didn't like, like marshmallows. The night before Eric had called I had devoured a whole bag of marshmallows. In fact I had a bag of minis in my purse.


Work went pretty quickly. All I had to do all day was confirm appointments and a senior shooting. So I headed home around five instead of seven. I was secretly glad because that meant I would have extra time to get ready for my date with Eric. Part of me didn't want to go because I knew that it affected Kyle, even though he'd never admit it. I had to keep reminding my self that he was still seeing Isaac. 


When I got home I got out my favorite pair of jeans. I bounced into them and noticed they didn't fit. They weren't too small they were too big. That wasn't right...I was supposed the be getting bigger, not smaller. It had to be because I was throwing up all the time. Looking in the mirror I decided to put a belt on so the pants would stay up. Then I got out one of my black shirts and put it on. I went into the kitchen to fetch my brush from this morning. The button on the answering machine flashed at me so I pushed it.


“Hey, it's me. Just wanted to let you know that I won't be in until late. So...have fun on your dinner date.” Kyle said, sarcastically.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

I pressed delete and finished putting my hair up. The message irritated me. I knew he was upset about me going out. Sometimes he was so selfish. He could have Isaac and me all to himself and he still wouldn't be happy. I don't think he honestly feared for my safety. I think he was trying to use the pregnancy to control me and that wasn't happening. Yet, here I stood still thinking of him. It seemed almost easier to just stay home than go. I mean, would I have fun? Really?


Eric was late. So when he finally came I was so bored I practically pulled him down the steps. He followed me laughing at my urgency. I got into his little Nissan and we headed to the movies. It was a quiet ride. Partly because my mind was on Kyle or because I couldn't hear anything over Eric's music. It was some loud heavy metal band that did not impress me at all. In fact I couldn't wait to get out of the car because of it. 


When we finally got to the movies I jumped out of his car and slammed the door. I was going to say something about how loud the ride had been but he started walking toward the theater. So I followed along, like my passive self always did. This night wasn't going to go as well as I thought it would. In fact I fully expected Eric to go in and not even give me a say in what movie we watched. 


We stood in line behind two high school girls who were chatting about their latest football game. I started to get a little bored from the lack of conversation. But that quickly turned to irritation when I noticed that Eric was starring at one of the blondies' ***. When we reached the stand it felt like I had been in that line longer than what it would take to watch the actual movie. And sure enough Eric picked out some action flick that was sure to put me to sleep. Then he walked me over to the snack stand and bought the largest bucket of popcorn they had and two slushies without even asking what I wanted. 


I was starting to see where this was all going, so when we went to get seats I walked to some free ones in the back and sat down. He didn't even let it faze him. He just sat down beside me and handed me my slushie. My stomach squeezed at the thought of all the sugar and blue dye that I was expected to drink. It got worse when I thought about the extra butter and salt he had added to the popcorn. Mix that with the smell of the theater and it was a lethal combination for me. I had to drink the slushie just to keep myself from passing out.


Eric handed me the bucket of popcorn just as the movie had started. I thought about dumping out the popcorn and using the bucket as a possible place to puke....but I don't think that Eric would be too happy about that. Trying to breath through my nose I handed the popcorn back to him. He gave me an odd look and put it in the seat beside him. 



At first all we did was watch the movie while he ate all the popcorn. Around the middle I guess Eric's hand got lonely because it started wondering. First it wandered to my hand and then to my leg. When it got to the inside of my thigh I jumped. He pulled his hand back like I had shocked him.


“Eric, there is a lot of stuff going on right now. If anything happens between us it has to be slow.” I whispered.


He nodded. We watched the rest of the movie in peace. Thankfully I didn't fall asleep and his hand didn't wander past the armrest. Eric had complained about the movie the whole entire time we were watching it. Someone in front of us tried to shush him twice. He didn't catch it. Instead he complained a little louder. Of course, because I was with him, I was getting dirty looks. I tried to tell him to be quiet but it did very little good. He was starting to get on my nerves. 


“So.” He says, as we walk to his car. “Where do you want to eat at?”


“Oh...I ate earlier.” I lied. “I forgot you were taking me and I was famished from work.”


He didn't look disappointed. “Cool. We'll just go to my place then.”


“Your place?” I replied.


“Yea. You can see all the work I've done.” He pushed.


“Okay, but I've got work tomorrow. So I can't stay long.” Not long at all, I thought. 


“It's cool.” He said as he started his car.


We drove to his house with the music all the way up again. I felt like acting like a child and putting my hands over my ears. Who considers this rubble music anyway? You can't even understand a word they are saying. Lord knows they weren't singing anything. I had come to the conclusion that Eric and I would never work. Sure he was cute, with his dark complexion and bright hazel eyes, but he was annoyingly cocky. Worse than Kyle. Maybe I was attracted to that...maybe that was something I should work on.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

When we got there he pushed the auto-lock on his car and walked up beside me. When he tried to grab my hand I warned him that this was just to see his house and nothing else. I walked into his house and was surprisingly amazed. It looked like something out of a home magazine. The kitchen had marble counters and wood floors. The dining room table was tall, long and elegant. There was a beautiful chandelier above the table that must have cost a fortune. The living room was even more surprising. The whole living room was decorated like a hunter's lodge. There was a wood burning stove with the pipe running into the roof. A fake beer rug lay on the floor, well I hope it was fake. A large TV took up one wall and in front of it was a large couch that was black leather. It was all very homey. This was an awesome house.

I was even more amazed by the bathroom when I asked to use it. It had a large stand up shower and a garden tub. The walls were tiled halfway in the same tile that surrounded the tub. There were three or four shower heads in the shower. I walked out with a smile on my face. 


“Wow, did you do all of this?” I asked.

“Yep.” He gloated.


“This is amazing.” I commented. 


He stood behind me and quietly place his arms around my stomach. A feeling rushed over me, at first I recognized it as nervousness . It didn't take long to realize it wasn't, it was purely protective. I grabbed his hand an spun around. His eyes caught mine and he leaned forward. Our lips were so close that I could smell the mints he had eaten on the ride from the movie. My breath caught as a cold sensation tingled my arms and chest. I let him kiss me. I didn't even have the urge. The only thing that crossed my mind was Kyle. I leaned into and let him slide his hands down my back. As we came up for air I took a step back. Panic overrode all the previous feelings. I could tell that he saw it on my face. I couldn't do this.


“I can't do this.” I breathed. “Eric...I think I want to go home.”


His eyes narrowed at my words. “Let. Me. Guess. You want to go home to Kyle?” He accused. 


I winced. “I just want to go home.”


“Why are you still so stuck on him? He's gay for **** sake! Let him go!” He blurted, putting his arm up to block my way.


I suddenly felt small. “I want to go home! Now!” I tried to shout. 


He shook his head in amazement and lowered his arm. “Find your own **** way home!” 


“Fine.” I exclaimed. I grabbed my purse and my soda and headed toward the door.


----------



## midwestgirl89

And the plot thickens...


----------



## lacyloo

I really enjoy reading this and I don't even like reading anything other than horse related books. :lol:


----------



## ShutUpJoe

::Warning:: The next part is a bit graphic ::Warning::

As I walked out of his house I realized that I had no idea where I was. I hadn't paid attention to where we were going on the drive to his house. I walked to the corner so I could see the street signs. The neighborhood was nothing but houses. There wasn't a storefront in any direction as far as I could see. Frustrated, I called a cab. Sitting down on the curb I saw Eric's truck zoom past, not even bothering to stop at the sign. I angrily flipped him off and not a second later regretted it. My mind went through everything that had happened. From the beginning to me ending up on the curb, not knowing where I was at, just when it was getting dark. I was still moldering over it when the cab pulled up. 


“What's a pretty little thing like you doing on a street corner?” The driver asked. I mentally rolled my eyes. I had the crappiest luck ever. 


“Trying to get home.” I smiled, taking a drink of my soda to discourage any more talking.


I paid attention to where I was on the trip back to the apartment. Trying to remember every store and street I could. There wasn't really a need because I knew that I would never go back. It was all in attempt to ignore the driver who tried several times to nonchalantly flirt with me. Even after I turned my mental eye roll into a real one. Every time he tried to talk to me I took a drink of water and starred out the window, answering his questions as briefly as possible. 


I think we were about half way there when I noticed that I was tired. The closer we got the more I felt exhausted. I kept thinking about how much I'd like to sleep, but I had to stay awake until I could make it into my bed. The cab driver looked back in the mirror with a smirk on his face. He clearly thought I was high in some way. I sat up as straight as I could and leaned forward to try to wake myself up. My eyelids started to feel heavy. Aggitated, I pinched my nose with my fingers until we finally arrived at the complex. Without even talking, I gave him his fair plus a nice sized tip and headed the direction of my apartment. I noted that Kyle's car was missing. This would have normally peaked my curiosity. I shrugged my shoulders and pulled myself up the stairs. He must be out with Isaac, I thought briefly as I unlocked my door. 


As soon as the door swung open I felt someone push me inside. For a moment I thought it was Kyle and I was suddenly irritated that he would push me while I was so out of it. I turned around to say something and realized the person was much too tall to be Kyle. His face blurred, all of his features becoming a swirl. All I could see was his black sweater with an over-sized hood. He shut the door behind us and grabbed me by my arms. 


I didn't realize what he was doing until it was too late. He yanked me around and pushed me against the wall. The light switch pressed into my face. I couldn't tell what he was doing. It was like I could put two thoughts together. I couldn't yell because my lips wouldn't move and I couldn't fight him off because my arms and legs felt useless. I whimpered pathetically when I realized he was tying my hands behind my back. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me backward into Kyle's room. 


I kept trying to remember everything about him. He smelled like new clothes straight off the rack. He wasn't letting me see his face now and he wasn't talking. He was a good foot taller than me. That's all I could remember. The rest wouldn't stick because of how dizzy I felt. The dizziness got worse when he pushed me onto the bed. I was suddenly aware that someone had slipped me something.


“I'm pregnant.” I tried to mumble. 


He didn't hear me. He tugged off my pants without even making a noise. Determined not to speak. I tried to lift my leg to kick him but all of my energy was gone. I groaned and wiggled up the bed slowly. He pulled down his pants.


“Please. I'm pregnant.” I said, with as much force as I could.


He stopped for a split second and looked at me. I tried in vain to make out his face as the room moved around me. His hands locked around my legs. I could feel the difference now. The quick motions that he had used before were replaced with anger. Almost like he couldn't stand what I had just said. He put his hands between my legs and hastily pushed them apart. I couldn't let him do this to me. I couldn't let him do this to my baby. Mustering up all of the strength I had left I pulled my leg out of his hand and kicked him. I was aiming for his groin but missed and got him the gut. Suddenly everything went dark.


--Kyle-----


The newspaper was reporting something about a new museum opening. It wasn't interesting but I still had an hour before I had to go to work. So I ran through the highlights of the article. Amora came into the kitchen wearing my favorite sweatpants and an old Army t-shirt. I put the paper down and watched her. She started digging through the pans. Clearly she was looking for something. What it was...I wasn't sure. Maybe she was going to re-heat something. 


“What are you looking for?” I asked.


“A frying pan.” She opened a cabinet door. “Found one.”


“Do you need help?” I asked, inquisitively. Are you actually going to cook?, is what really ran through my head.


“No, I can handle this.” She answered, with uncertainty.


She poured some pancake mix into a bowl. I almost told her that we had mixing bowls or that she didn't have to add anything but water to that particular mix but I didn't, I just sat and watched. I watched as she put the five pathetic lumpy pancakes on two plates. She sat one in front if me. I looked at her plate and then at mine. I had three rather large lump cakes to her two half plate sized ones. It occurred to me that it had been like that for awhile. She always ate a lot less than I did. I commented on her eating habits as I picked up my fork. She jerked the plate from under me and dumped the pancakes onto her plate. I let the flash of frustration ride through me as I put my plate in the sink. 


I quickly got ready for work and left without saying anything else to her. I didn't want to be the brunt of her mood swings anymore that morning because today I was going to talk to my parents. For that I would need to be in a decent mood. It hadn't been easy to deal with them since they had found out about Isaac. My father was openly outraged by the news. My mother had cried over the phone for hours trying to get me to sway my decisions to their liking. So it was natural that when I called to tell them to wait up for me my mother didn't sound thrilled. She told me she'd tell my father and then hung up.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

I didn't go home for lunch because the staff had all pitched in for pizza. I sat in the lunch room, while everyone chatted about various things, pondering what life had thrown at me. Several of the people in the room glanced at me a few times but nobody bothered to ask what was wrong. Usually I was the one meddling in the gossip as much as I was dishing my own out. I frowned as I threw away the rest of my pizza. Was I that tense that everyone around me could feel it?, I thought to myself as I walked to my desk. 


One of the cashiers, named Lora, was sitting on the edge of my desk waiting for me. She was usually one of the ones I would talk to about everything because she was a good listener. I had to be careful what I said around her, though, because she was one of Amora's “friends”. I paused at the edge of my desk and starred at her. She looked at me cautiously.


“What?” I mumbled.


“What's with the daydreaming?” She asked.


“I'm not daydreaming.” I informed her.


She looked down at my paper work. “Okay.... You spelled Mustang wrong.”


I looked at the paper I had been working on before lunch. Mustain... “So?”


“Kyle don't be such a tight ***.” She chastised. “Which lover is it this time?”


“You wouldn't understand.” I hedged. I didn't want to tell her anything.

She smiled. “Amora.”, she stated.


“How does that mean Amora?” I asked. 


“Because when I ask it's about Isaac you don't blush.” Her eyes twinkled. “Sooo. Spill it. What's going on now?”


I almost didn't tell her. “She's pregnant.”


Her eyes popped open and her jaw dropped. “She's WHAT?!!!”


“Would you keep your voice down!” I muttered at her.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

“Oh. My. GOD!” She stood up and looked at me.


“Shhh...” I hissed at her.


“Congratulations!” She said excitedly.
Our boss walked in and frowned at us. In her normal flirty manner Lora walked away smiling at him. I made a mental note to smack myself. Lora was the second biggest mouth in the whole company. The news would get around faster than flies on ****. Cursing I crumbled the paper with Mustain written on it and tried to bury myself in my work. 


Sure enough by the end of the day I had people congratulating me that I had never even met before. In fact, I think a few were even customers. I nodded as much as I could at them and threw a weak smile in for good measure. When my shift ended I was out of the building so fast that I forgot to clock out. I didn't even turn around, instead I left a message for my boss telling him when I left. Then I dialed the apartment and left a message for Amora telling her I'd be late. By the time I got off the phone I was pulling into my parent's driveway.


My mom was in the front yard pulling weeds. Her four Cavalier King Charles Spaniel sat beside her. When I opened the door the two puppies ran to me. I reached down to pet them and ended up with one in my arms. My mom stood up and wiped the dirt of her knees. She was pretty for an older woman. I never thought she was bad looking but she certainly did age well. Her soft blue eyes searched over me and she smiled. 


“Come on in.” She said. “I've got lasagna in the oven.”


----------



## lacyloo

more? haha


----------



## ShutUpJoe

I followed her into the house. Nothing had changed since I had gone, except for the wall color. It was exactly how I had always remembered it. Pictures of me as a baby still hung up in the hall. There were still prom pictures of Amora and I in the study. My room probably still had the same exact posters bubble gummed to the wall. We walked into the kitchen and I sat down at the breakfast table. My mom started to wash her hands.


“Where's dad?” I asked.

“He's on his way.” She said as she pulled out the lasagna. “Golf.”


“Ohhh.” I replied.


“So I take it this news that you want to tell us...you won't tell me first?” She asked, softly.


“No. I really think dad would want to hear this at the same time that you did.” I replied, trying to smile.


She looked at me uncertainly as she cut the lasagna. I heard the door open. I knew it was my dad because the dogs didn't even bother to get up. He walked into the kitchen and gave my mom a hug. He nodded at me and motioned for us to follow him into the dining room. I grabbed the plates and followed behind slowly. My mom took two of the plates and handed my dad one. Then we sat down. My heart thumped in my chest the entire time I ate. I almost wanted to walk out..I felt like I had to go lie down somewhere so I could wake up from this dream....nightmare, whatever it was. My dad took a bite out of his second helping.


“I'm going to get married.” The words rushed out of me. I winced as the hung in the air.

My dad dropped his fork. “HOW!” He thundered.


“What do you mean how?” Shouldn't he ask who first?
“How are you going to marry another MAN?” My mom flinched at his words.


I almost laughed at how mad he was getting. “I'm not getting married to Isaac.”


My mom's fork dropped. They starred at me. She spoke first. “Well then...who?”


“Amora.” I replied. Astonished that they couldn't figure it out for themselves.


My mom and dad both sat stock still. My father's face went blank and my mom was trying to put two and two together. Her face was mustered with confusion. “I thought that you weren't with her anymore?”


“Well...” I mumbled. Not knowing exactly how to tell them.


“Just tell us.” My father demanded.


“She's pregnant.” I mumbled.


My father coughed or hacked, which ever. My mother's face lit up. I pushed my fork around on my plate and watched them. My father blinked like he was trying to wake up.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

“By who?” He asked, finally.


At first I couldn't believe he had asked such a stupid question. “Of course it's his, silly.” My mom answered for me.


My dad looked at me, clearly expecting an answer from me. “Is she pregnant by you?”


“Yes, dad. The baby is mine.” I replied, almost rudely.


The change that come over him was instantaneous, like flipping a coin. He got up walked over to me and patted me on the back. “That's my boy.” He gloated, proudly. 


Dumbfounded, I starred at him. 


“When is the wedding?” My mom asked.


“That is what I need your help with.” I told my mom.


We sat for a couple of hours talking about what I needed to do. I explained that Amora didn't know anything about my plans. My mother wasn't taken back by this. She didn't even pause, quickly jotting down the number to her favorite jeweler. My father sat there with a satisfied expression on his face. I knew exactly why he was so smug. I was his only son, his only child. He must have felt like he had lost a hard fought battle when they heard about Isaac. At first I was hurt by his expression. Shrugging things off was quickly becoming a fast trend in my life. By the end of the night I was glad that I had made my dad proud and my mom happy. She was going to be a grandma. Something that she had been wanting for awhile. Something that she didn't ever think would happen to her. 


It was late when I pulled into the apartment parking lot. I got a strange feeling when I walked up the steps and saw the door. It was cracked open and none of the lights were on inside. The door was never left open. Chills ran down my spine. I hollered for Amora as I pushed open the door. Thinking maybe she had forgotten to close it for some reason. I was hesitant to go in but I wanted to tell her that I had told my parents. Nobody answered. The chills turned into an eerie feeling. I walked into the living room and switched on the light. She wasn't asleep on the couch. I quickly walked into her room and flipped on her light. A moan vibrated through the walls. Robotically, I turned and walked into my room.


“Amora?” I hedged, as I pushed open the door.


----------



## lacyloo

This is getting intense lol


----------



## ShutUpJoe

She was laying on the bed with no pants on. Her arms stretched out across the bed like the wings of a bird. One of them had a length of white rope wrapped around it. Her forehead was bleeding. But that wasn't what frightened me. It was the blank look in her eyes. She looked dead. I dropped down beside her and pulled her into my arms. What the hell happened?


“Amora....Wake up...Please..Wake up.” I groaned at her. I pulled my cell out of my pocket and dialed 911.


“Nine one one. What is your emergency?” The dispatcher questioned.


“My girlfriend....she's pregnant...I don't know what happened. I just came home. I think she was raped!” I spat out, trying to get a complete sentence out. I didn't even try to hide the disgust and anger in my voice.


“What is your location, sir?” She asked, too calmly for my taste.


“39 Toris Ave. Apartment B. Riverside Apartment complex.” I blurted. “Can you hurry? I think she's hurt!”


“Calm down.” The dispatcher said. I rolled my eyes. “Where is your girlfriend?”


“Here.” I told her. “On my bed. She's bleeding.”


“Okay. Where is she bleeding from?”


“Her head.” I blurted.


“Is she breathing?” The lady asked. 


I put my hand on her chest. “Yes, she's breathing.”


“Okay. We have units on the way.” I could hear echoes in the background. “Is the door locked?”


“No.” I muttered.


“Do you want to stay on the phone with me?” She asked, it came out sounding like she had read it off a que card. 


“I just...” I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know what to tell the lady on the other line. “Uh...no. Thanks.” I muttered and hung up the phone. I pulled Amora close to my chest. “I'm so sorry. I promise things are going to be okay.”


I heard the sirens. I didn't want to let her go but I had to tell them where she was. Torn, I picked her up and carried her out to the parking lot where they were just pulling in.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

-------------Amora


I was having a dream about when I was a little girl. I was riding my first pony. I heard someone yelling. Opening my eyes I saw Kyle....he was crying...and then everything went dark again. For some reason in my dream I was very aware that I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear Tink's hooves hitting the ground or the sound of the wind blowing through the trees. It was like I was watching a muted memory. I opened my eyes and there were people all around me. I tried to talk. Everything went dark again. I was ten years old, riding my first barrel horse Moe and I had just fallen off. There still wasn't any sound. I couldn't hear my cries or my mother rushing into the pen.


Then there was pain. The pain in my head vibrated through my entire body. I tried to open my eyes again but I couldn't. The memories faded and I was suddenly able to hear the things around me. I was suddenly aware of everything around me. Someone was holding my wrist with their fingers. Like they were checking my pulse. I took a deep breath. Something was humming at me. The noise made the ache in my head worse. I groaned.


“It's okay Amora. I'm right here,” I heard Kyle say. 


“What happened?” I whimpered, with my eyes closed. My voice echoed inside my head.


I heard him snort. “Someone raped you.”


It started to come back to me. The guy, my wrists and the kick, all of it swirled inside of me.


“He hit you.” I heard someone say.


I opened my eyes and saw my dad. “Daddy...What are you doing here?” I croaked.


Before he could reply two nurses walked in with a machine. I opened my eyes a little further. The machine was for ultra-sounds. Panic took hold. The baby, I thought. The nurse asked everyone to leave. Kyle stood there with his arms wrapped across his chest. His face full of determination. He wasn't leaving, he told the nurse. She shrugged and let him sit beside me. Pulling up my gown she squeezed the warm gel on my stomach. The machine let out a static sound as she put the doppler on my skin. I held my breath as she moved the wand in circles. Something flickered on the screen. 


“See that? That's your baby.” She smiled. I exhaled.


“Thank God.” I heard Kyle mutter.


My heart skipped a beat. “Is everything okay?” I asked.


“Your not out of the woods yet. We found traces of Rohypnol in your blood. We don't know if it affected your baby or not. It's a little too early to tell. But the heartbeat is a good sign.” She said, encouragingly.


“Thank you.” I sighed. 


“Have you had an ultra-sound before?”


“No, my first appointment was tomorrow.” I said, watching the flickering on the screen.


“The baby is measuring at 12 weeks 2 days.” She explained, pulling out a chart. “That would mean your due date is July 5th.”


She finished the exam and wiped the gel off my stomach. Handing me a couple pictures of the baby she nodded to the other nurse. “We will be back to run some more tests. When you are ready there is an officer that wants to speak to you.”


----------



## lacyloo

Still reading


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## ShutUpJoe

“Okay.” I replied.


The nurses walked out with the machine. An older man, wearing plain clothes, walked in. He asked if he could speak to me alone. I glanced at Kyle. He was starring at me. The look on his face was so intense. It was like he didn't even hear what the guy had asked. He raised his eyebrows. I looked at the man and shook my head. He looked at Kyle, then me, then sat down in the only chair the room offered.


“My name is Officer Brian King.” He informed me. “Can you tell me your name?”


“Amora Jade Lynn.” I replied, suddenly feeling numb. 


“Okay, Mrs. Lynn. Can you tell me what you remember?” The officer asked.


“I was on a date.” I paused and looked at Kyle. “With a guy named Eric McGraff... We went to a movie and then to his place. He kissed me but when he tried to take it further I told him to stop. He didn't like that at all. I told him I wanted to go home...but he wouldn't take me so I walked to the corner and called a cab. I saw him drive by when I was waiting for the cab.” I took a deep breath. Kyle squeezed my hand. “Then the cab came. The cab driver was kind of young. He tried to flirt with me but I wasn't responding to him. His name tag said something like Arthur.” 


I paused trying to remember his last name. “When I got out of the cab I felt awful. I unlocked the door and someone pushed me in. At first I thought it was Kyle..." I glanced at Kyle, "but he was to tall. He was wearing a black hoodie with the hood pulled tight around his face. I Kept trying to tell him I was pregnant but he wouldn't stop. He pulled me into Kyle's room and pulled my pants off. Then he took his off. I felt so week. But somehow I managed to kick him. That's all I remember.”


I looked at Kyle. His face was so red and I could tell he was angry. I moved my head and saw the officer writing. The officer stopped writing and looked at me.


“Did you have anything to drink?” He asked.


“Yes. I got a Sprite at the theater.” 


“Did you leave it alone?” He ascertained.


I thought about the question. “Yea...when I went to use the bathroom.”


“Was there anything that you can remember that seemed familiar about the guy who attacked you?”


“Not really. I couldn't see his eyes because it was so dark,” I replied. “He didn't say anything, either.”


“Okay, Mrs. Lynn. I'm going to file this. Unfortunately we have not found any finger prints. He may have been wearing gloves when he hit you with the alarm clock. Now that you are awake the doctor can do a rape kit to see if they can find any DNA.” He stood up to leave. “I'm sorry this happened to you. I'll do my best to find this guy.”


----------



## ShutUpJoe

“Thank you.” I replied.


Kyle got up and kissed me on the cheek. “I'll be back.”


“Where are you going?” I asked, not wanting him to leave.


“I'm just going to the apartment to get you some new clothes. They're keeping the old ones.” He reassured me. “Do you need anything?”


I thought about asking him for something, anything. “No. Be careful.”


“I will. I'll be right back.” He promised.


When he walked out I started to feel empty. My dad came in to make sure that I was okay. He didn't seem mad that I didn't tell him that I was pregnant. Instead he seemed worried and anxious. He gave me a kiss on the cheek. He told me that he had to get home. He told me to call him if I needed anything. I didn't want him to leave. I didn't want to be alone. The main reason I didn't want to be alone was because I didn't want to think about what had happened. Only a few minutes after my dad left doctor came in. He looked a few years older than me. Not really good looking but enough so to where I felt uncomfortable. The only thing he had going for him was his light green eyes. I cringed a little as he pulled out a speculum.


“Have you ever had a pap smear?” He asked. 


“Once.” I answered.


“Okay, a rape kit is not much different.” He commented.


The nurse grabbed a few instruments. They let down the end of the bed and put up the stirrups. The nurse took off some of the covers. Only leaving one on my legs. I realized that I was wearing two hospital robes. One faced each direction so that there wasn't a draft. I also, noticed that I was completely naked underneath. The doctor looked at me and softly touched my leg. 




“I want you to scoot your butt all the way to the end of the table.” I did. “More.” I did. “A little more.” I moved a little more. “Okay."



I opened my eyes and starred up at the ceiling. He moved the speculum around and made a couple comments to the nurse. They were talking so quietly that I could barely understand them. He whispered something about bruising and abrasions. I saw him put a strand of hair into a small beaker tub. 

“Okay. You can relax now.” He said, as he pushed the bottom of the bed back into place.


Easy for him to say, I thought. 


“There didn't seem to be any damage. Just a few minor bruises. We'll send the samples off to the lab and see what they can tell us. We want to keep you here over night because you got hit pretty hard in the head. We'll put in your discharge papers tomorrow morning.” He said, with a smile. 


He touched the nurse on the shoulder. She put the blankets back on the bed and they walked out. I thought about going home. It would be nice to be in a familiar place. Somewhere the turmoil didn't double over on me. I fell sleep soon after that. I didn't hear Kyle come in, didn't feel him crawl onto the bed beside me. My dreams came back. The same muted memories played in my head. At first they were blurry and distant. Me riding Tink and then me riding Moe. I tried to push through the soundless wall but it was hopeless. It was like trying to catch a butterfly.


KYLE--------------------


At first the paramedics didn't want me to ride along. I practically begged them until one of them finally had sympathy. Riding with Amora meant everything to me. Throughout the whole ride I never stopped praying. For Amora. For the baby. If only I had gone home instead of to my parents. If only I had called her cell phone instead of leaving a message on the house phone. The worst part was not know what had happened before I had found her. 


One of the paramedics cleared his throat. I looked up at him. “How far along is she?”


I starred at him for a second. “I don't know. I just found out.”


He nodded and looked away. I starred at Amora's still body. She looked pale and thin...incredibly thin. Her bones looked like they might poke through her skin. I don't remember her ever being sickly thin. It added to the severity of the situation. What the heck was I thinking? She had been raped. Some disgusting pervert had put his hands on my girl. The mother of my unborn child. By the time we got to the hospital I was silently fuming. Mostly because the shock of the situation hadn't kicked in earlier.


They wheeled her into the hospital and put her into one of the rooms. A couple of doctors started to work on her. I tried to follow them into the room but one of the nurses blocked my way. She asked me to wait in the waiting room. At first I just stood there. Thoroughly lost in my own skin. I wanted to walk in the room but I knew I would just get in the way. So I walked over to the front desk and asked them to place a call to her parents. Then I sat in the lobby until her father showed up. He walked right past me at first. I stood up and called his name. He turned around and walked toward me with a frantic smile on his face.


“What in the hell happened?” He asked. I had never heard him curse before.


“I don't know.” I answered. “No one has told me anything. I came home and she was on the bed......naked. Someone hit her on the head. I think they raped her.” 


He looked shocked for a moment. “Raped her?”


I nodded. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there to protect her.”


He shook his head. “Where is she?”


“They are running tests on her.” I said softly. “I told the receptionist to come get me when they do an ultra-sound.”


“Ultra-sound?” Scott asked.


It didn't occur to me that he didn't know. Looks like I'd have to break the news to more than one father today. “She's pregnant.”


“By who?” He asked, stunned. What was up with that question?


“Me.” I mumbled.


He sucked in a breath like a poisonous snake had bit him. I could see the confusion in his expression. Before he could say anything the nurse that had blocked my way walked over to us. She told us that we were free to go to Amora's room, if we wanted. Pointing in the direction of the room she listed off a room number then walked away. We both walked silently to the room. I sat on the bed beside Amora and her father sat on the chair. He glared at me for a moment.


“How the hell did she get pregnant?” He blurted.


I felt my face grow hot. “Uh...”


“I thought you guys weren't doing....anything together?” He pushed.


“Well...” I managed.


“I thought you were seeing some _guy_?” He accused. 


“I....” I tried.


He stared at me for a second, then shook his head. “What did you do to my daughter?” 


I opened my mouth to answer but couldn't think of anything to say. Looking away from him I stared at the white tiled floor. I should say that I don't even know what I did to her...or myself. Or at least tell him that I was sorry. That I didn't know what happened or how I was going to fix it. But before I could say anything Amora woke up. All his concerns for her halted our conversation...at least at that moment it did. We both turned our attention over to her.


At first she was confused about where she was and why. I told her everything was going to be okay. But before either one of us could talk to her about what happened two nurses came in. They asked us both to leave so that they could do an ultra-sound. But I wasn't going anywhere. I was told I'd get to be with her. One of the nurses looked at the other and shrugged. Her father watched the exchange and decided to leave. After he walked out the nurses began the ultra-sound. I sat and watched as the little flicker came on the screen. That was our baby. Our baby was still alive. Thank God.


----------



## lacyloo

Still reading


----------



## ShutUpJoe

The nurse told Amora that they found traces of the date rape drug. I was automatically enraged. I vowed to find whoever did this to her and make sure they'd regret it. It didn't help matters when Amora talked to the police officer. When she told him about Eric and the taxi driver I became so infuriated I nearly walked out. I knew that if I would have opened my mouth to speak there was a good chance I would have been arrested. If I was behind bars I couldn't do what I had every intention of doing. Pain welled up inside of me at the thought of her going through what she did. I had to get out of there and find out who did this.


After the officer left I told Amora that I would be back. I made a bull **** lie about going to get her more clothes and I walked out. I dialed a taxi and had them take me to the apartment for my car. When I fired up my car I knew right where I was going. In order to find out the truth you have to start from the beginning, I thought to myself as I drove. The beginning was as good as anything. I twisted my hands on the steering wheel as I pulled into my ex-friend's driveway. His living room lights were on and I could see the flicker of his television. I stepped out of my car and quickly walked to his door. Holding my breath I knocked twice and waited. Eric opened the door slowly. I saw the look in his cocky eyes when he realized it was me. That look said everything.


“What do you want?” He asked, rudely.


“Amora is in the hospital.” I told him.


He didn't seem too surprised. His face was totally blank when he replied. “Oh.”


“You were the last one with her.” I noted.


“Was I?” He chastised. The corner of his lip twitched.


My face reddened. “You did it didn't you?”


His eyes opened, widely. “You don't have proof of anything.”


I stared at him for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts. Closing my eyes I launched myself at him. Twisting him around and onto the ground. He sucked in a shocked breath. Holding him down with one arm I yanked my arm back. Only one thought crossed my mind as I put all the force I had into that punch. He is going to pay for this. He'll pay for everything he ever did to anyone before. Even the times when I stood by without saying anything about it. He'll pay. Putting my knee on his chest I raised my fist to do it again.


“Why!?” I screamed.


His breath came in shallow gasps. I could tell that I had taken him by surprise.


“Why?” He repeated.


I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and slammed his head into the ground. “Why did you do that to her?” 


His eyes turned angry. “You want to know why? You should already know why!” 


He tried to get up but I pinned him back down. “I don't and I want to know.” I pressed down with my knee. “NOW!”


He coughed. “Everything has always been about you. _Kyyyle_. You got the most beautiful, loyal, caring girl anyone could ever ask for. What do you do? You just throw it all away on a _GUY! _How disgusting is that?”


I pushed my hand against his throat. He tried to push me off him. Angrily I shoved him back down. “I didn't ask how you felt about my life.”


“I. Wanted. Her! We could have had something good. I. Could. Be. That. Baby's. FATHER! But did she even give me a chance? NO!” He spat.


“Why would you rape her then?” I growled at him.


He narrowed his eyes. “Because. Kyle. She wanted to go back home to you! She wouldn't give me the time to show her how stupid that was. How stupid being with you was! AND THEN! And then she told me that she was pregnant...Pregnant by you! She would have never gotten pregnant if you would have let her go. She would have been with me! But you are so selfish that you wouldn't let her go. Kyle. So she wouldn't give me the time of day because she was so caught up in your ****** ***.” 


Rage twisted itself into my entire body. I grabbed his neck and started squeezing. He started throwing punches at me but I couldn't feel them. Then he started clawing at my face but it just made me even more infuriated. I was blank with anger. I didn't realize we had an audience.


“HEY! GET OFF HIM! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL HIM!” I heard someone yell. Reluctantly I let him go. Getting off him I stood up and stepped back. He gasped for air and got to his feet. There were several people standing outside of their houses. I could see them all now. They had watched the whole fight. Neighbors that had probably came out when we had started screaming. The man that had yelled at me walked over to us and grabbed me. Someone else stood in front of Eric. 


“Cool it kid!” The guy demanded.


“He raped my girlfriend!” I gasped.


The guy looked from me to Eric. I didn't give him a chance to say anything. I could hear sirens. Someone had called the cops. I wasn't going to go to jail without saying goodbye to Amora. I turned around and ran to my car. Jumping in I drove all the way to the hospital without even looking back. My adrenaline still ran on high. The hospital staff looked at me cautiously as I strode past them. I took a few deep breaths before I walked into Amora's room. She was sleeping. Silently, I crawled into the hospital bed next to her, falling asleep almost instantly.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

---------------------Amora


“Amora..” I heard as someone gently shook me. “Amora...wake up.”


I opened my eyes. Kyle was standing near the door with two cops behind him. My mind raced for a moment before going completely blank. With as little movement as possible I propped myself up. Kyle's eyes met mine. He mouthed “sorry”. I cocked my head and tried to understand. 


“Amora...I wanted to tell you that I love you.” He took a deep breath. “I promise when I get out everything will be okay.” I didn't get what he was talking about. Get out? Get out of where, I thought. 




“What's wrong?” I asked.


“Don't worry, Amora.” He mumbled. “Just call my uncle for me...okay?”


If he wanted his uncle he was in trouble. My lips quivered. “What did you do?”


Kyle pressed his lips together. 


“Can I kiss her?” He asked the officers.


One of the officers nodded briskly. Kyle came forward. He put his arms on either side of me on the bed. I wanted to lean into him. To hold on to him and not let him go. I wanted to know what had happened. The suspense was driving me mad. He looked into my eyes, his reflecting hurt and pain. I saw several scratches across his cheeks and a bruise under his eye. He had been in a fight. My eyes flashed to his, trying even harder to understand. He leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. Tears welled up, suddenly.


“I'll always love you.” He whispered.


“I love you, too.” I sobbed.

The other officer coughed. Kyle stood up and looked back at them briefly before returning his gaze to me. Reaching down he wiped away a few of the tears that had fallen onto my cheeks. He tried to smile at me reassuringly. I tried to smile back. Then he turned and let the cops lead him out. I watched him leave. The tears streaked my face. I hiccuped a breath in.


I was frozen in place. Not understanding. Just sitting there crying. How did this happen? What did he do? Who did he get into a fight with? Was it the guy who raped me? These thoughts kept repeating in my head. He had said I love you. He had finally told me what I needed to hear and I didn't even know when I'd see him again. Anguish ripped through my soul. It felt like my heart was going to break into pieces. I had to get ahold of myself. I put my hands on the bars on the side of the bed and took several deep breaths. Letting numbness replace all of my other emotions. The tears dried. It still felt like I was crying inside but at least nobody else could see.


A nurse poked her head around the corner of the door. She looked like she was questioning coming in. I gave her a small nod and she brought in a breakfast tray. She put some papers down beside the tray. The nurse briefly told me that after I got done with my breakfast and had signed my discharge papers I was free to go. Then she left like she was uncomfortable being near me. I was too exhausted to care. I quickly signed the papers, took a few bites of the food and called my sister to come get me. I was ready to be home. Being home meant I could fix things before they escalated any further. 


It didn't take long for Kayla to come and get me. She drove me home without asking any questions. We barely said a word to each other. Kayla was like that. She knew when I had so much on my mind that if I could talk nothing would make sense. I appreciated her silence more than I was annoyed by it. When we got to the apartment she sat beside me as I called Kyle's uncle. Kayla put her hand on my knee for support. I dialed the number that was listed in the phone book, hoping he was actually in his office.


“Jason Moore's office. This is Rhonda speaking. How may I direct your call?” The receptionist said, parting it all into three sentences. 


“Ohm.... Rhonda?” I paused. “This is Amora, Kyle's..... girlfriend. He asked me to call his uncle because...well... he's in trouble.”


Rhonda paused, I heard her shuffle some papers. “Mr. Moore is in court. He should be back in about twenty minutes. I'll have him call you when he gets back. Is he calling Kyle's home number?”


“Yes, thank you.” I said and hung up.

Kayla tried to make herself busy. I don't think she knew what to say. She glanced at me a few times, opening her mouth to say something. She'd shake her head and go back to what she was doing. She pushed lunch at me and tried to make me eat. I nibbled but couldn't even think about eating. She sat and starred at me. I could see the question in her eyes but I could tell she didn't want to probe. Being in the apartment where_ it _happened was starting to feel weird to me. I looked toward Kyle's door and saw that it was closed.


“He threw away the sheets.” Kayla said when she noticed that I was looking that way. “I checked everything before I picked you up.”


I looked at her and nodded. She was always there when you needed somebody. Even if she didn't quit now what to do. She was always a shoulder to cry on or the person to complain to. Even if she she just sat there trying to read my mind. It's a blessing her husband was so understanding. Whenever she needed to leave he was happy to watch all of the kids. I was jealously hoping that Kyle would turn out the same way. The phone rang. I startled. Kayla handed it to me.


“Amora?” Jason Moore asked before I could even say hello.


“Yes.” I replied.


“What's going on?” He asked.


“Kyle is in trouble...” I explained. “He wants you to call him at the precinct.”


“What did he do?” 


“I don't know. He wouldn't tell me.” I muttered.


“Is it over that boy?” Kyle's uncle asked, harshly.


“I don't think so.” I replied.


He sighed. “I'll give him a call. Thank you, Amora.”


“I appreciate it.” I mumbled.


There was a pause. “Listen Amora.... you've always been a wonderful person.”


The line went quiet like he was going to say something more. After a few minutes I cleared my throat. “That means a lot to me.”


“Yep...” He mumbled. “You...uh...take care of yourself.”


“I will. Thanks.” I said and hung up.


Kayla left soon after that. I thanked her for spending time with me but I knew she wanted to get back to her kids. I called my boss and told him I had been in the hospital and I'd be in Monday. He tried to pry but I wouldn't budge. I told him that it was very personal and he left it at that. I couldn't even think of what had happened. It hadn't hit me yet. It was there in the back of my mind waiting to surface. I was trying my hardest to shove it back there. To forget it. For the second time that night the phone startled me. I grabbed it quickly.


----------



## Icrazyaboutu

keep it coming please


----------



## ShutUpJoe

“Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?” My mother exclaimed.


“I don't know.” I replied.


“Don't you trust me?” She sounded disappointed.


“I do mom. I've just been so...” I didn't know what to say. “I don't even understand it.”


“What happened?” 


I tried to fill her on as much as I could remember. The pregnancy, Kyle going to jail, the …... I told her everything as if it never happened to me. As if I was telling someone else's story. Like I had no emotional connection to any of it. I could hear her uneven breaths. Her slight hitches when I told her something she didn't want to know. But I continued to tell her. When I was finished we sat there for a few minutes before she finally spoke. 


“Amora...what am I going to do with you?” She nearly whispered. “You've got to be more careful with yourself.” 


“I know mom. I'm trying.” I mumbled. “Honest.”


“No I'm serious Amora. You've got to be more careful.” She repeated. “Since Kyle told you about that guy problem he has...you've been a wreck. Don't get yourself hurt again. Do you hear me?”


“I promise. I'll be more careful, mom. I love you.” I edged.


“I love you, too.” She said. 


“Goodbye, mom.” I hinted.


She was silent for a minute. “Bye, Amora.”


Frustrated by everything I went into my room and laid across my bed. Even though the sheets had been thrown out I didn't trust myself to go into Kyle's room. Just thinking about going in there made me feel sick.. Thoughts came to me in bursts. Being pushed in the door. Eric grabbing my arm. Kyle's face over me. The ultrasound. The cops with Kyle. I started to sob. Frantically, I got up and flipped on the radio. Laying on my bed, I let it all out. Soon enough I was so tired from crying I fell asleep.


My dream wasn't a dream anymore. It was a nightmare. It came in fading images, like a flashback in a movie. No sound, but the images were frightening. When I was thirteen and my horse got out of the pasture and got caught in the cattle guard. The awful face he made as he tried to pull his front legs out. The horrifying realization that he had broken his leg. Watching my father come out with the gun and shoot him right in front of me. Tears running down my face. My mother trying to comfort me. But it was my fault. I hadn't latched the gate. I didn't remember until I saw him in the cattle guard. I was too excited about a stupid school dance. My first dance with Kyle. My mind ached to hear everything. To understand Why. There. Wasn't. Any Noise! 


Then there was a noise. A glorious but shrill ringing. Like a phone. Everyone in my dream turned their heads to the house. But nobody had called then. I remember what happened. I broke down. Mom had called Kyle to cancel. He came over to comfort me. He kept me from going out as my dad loaded my horse onto his forklift. I don't remember anyone calling. Then I woke up. It was the phone. The answering machine kicked on. I jumped up.


“Amora, it's me. Please pick up.” I heard. “**** it.”


I raced to phone and pulled it off the charger. “I'm right here!” I exclaimed.


“Man am I glad to hear your voice.” He sounded hurt.


“What happened, Kyle?” I asked, keeping my voice even.


“I have a hearing tomorrow. My uncle is going to represent me. I don't want you to come.” He said, flatly.


“Kyle. What? Happened?” I pushed. 


“I couldn't stand it, Amora. If I would have been home it would have never happened to you. I would have been there to protect you.” Kyle replied, not bothering to keep his voice from breaking.


“What happened?” I repeated. 


“I know it was Eric. I went to his house. The look on his face when he saw me answer the door.” He slurred the last two words. “I went there to ask if he knew anything. When I saw his face I knew it was him. I couldn't help it....I....I blacked out.” 


I gasped. My mind raced for a minute. “Did you kill him?”


“No...” He paused. “I would of if his neighbor didn't hear us fighting.”


I tried to keep my emotions in check. “Kyle....”


“He confessed everything, Amora.” He mumbled. “They are charging me with assault. Thank God, the neighbor heard his confession because the cops didn't believe me.”


“How much trouble are you in?” I choked, letting the first tear fall.


“I won't know until tomorrow.” He answered. “Amora, I told my parents.”


“That I'm pregnant?” 


“Yes.” He replied. “I've got to get off here. Be at the house when I get out...okay?”


“I'll try.” I said. He hung up. 


I love you, I thought to myself.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

Looking around I noticed the time. I was supposed to be at my first appointment today. Starring at the clock I debated what I was going to do. I flipped the phone book open and found the number to the Women's Center. The lady that answered was way too chipper. For some reason it made me think of Kyle. We had been in each others' lives for years. Being without him made me feel empty and alone. The lady coughed on the other line. She had asked me a question but I wasn't paying attention. I asked her to repeat herself and she didn't miss a beat. She moved my appointment for me and wished me a nice day. If only she knew the hell I was going through. 


The next day were full of trails and irritation. Kyle's uncle called me to let me know what happened. He told me that Kyle would have been released if it hadn't been for Eric pushing for charges against him. Since we lived in a smaller city our prisons weren't so full that everyone was released until after their pretrail. I had no idea how it worked so I just listened to him. After he said goodbye I wallowed around with nothing to do. 

I didn't get a call from him the next day though. Even though I waited by the phone. The only people that called were my mother, father and sister. It wasn't until well after I usually had lunch that I realized that I hadn't eaten at all that day. So I made myself a tuna sandwich and sat at the kitchen table listening to the silence. The ticking of the clock reminding me of every second. I started picking at the sandwich when I heard the key in the door. My eyes shot to the door as my heart started pounding. What if it was another attacker? Then common sense took over, they had a key. He had a key. The door slowly creaked open slowly and a leg appeared. It was Kyle, it had to be. I jumped up and ran to the door. As soon as I saw his face I flung my arms around him. I felt his heart pounding as he took me in his arms.


Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone move. Looking up I realized that another person was standing there. My breath caught as I realized it was Isaac. My face heated, he was witnessing something so private. Something that should have only been between Kyle and I. Why had Kyle brought him here? I yanked myself out of Kyle's grip and stood back. Starring at him with confusion and desperation I let the tears come. 


“How could you?” I mouth, then turned and paced myself to my bedroom.


“Amora...” Kyle called after me. 


I locked the door behind me as I dropped to the floor. It was one of the worst moments of my life. I sat there sobbing and hiccuping with tears streaking my face. Fully expecting Kyle to try and get in, I laid on the furthest side of my bed. Trying to stop the temptation of answering the door should he knock. But he didn't and that only made it worse. Emotionally exhausted, I pounded my fist into my pillows. 


It wasn't fair. How dare him bring him here! I had waited while he was in jail just like I had promised. He was breaking my heart all over again. After all I'd been through I didn't deserve this. My stomach did a flip and I realized that if I didn't stop that I'd get sick. Tucking my knees up to my chest I took a few deep breaths. One... If it was a girl I'd name her Annalise Kathreen Lynn. Two....If it was a boy I'd name him Colten Alexander Lynn. Three... The baby wouldn't have Kyle's last name. I would move out and get my own place. Kyle would have to fight me for whatever he wanted. Then I was asleep.


I was nine years old that year. Wearing a ballerina costume, knocking on people's doors with a bag of candy. My sisters had to drag me along. They weren't happy about it, either. They'd go ahead of me a few house and I'd have to run to keep up. There was a house on the corner in the city that nobody bothered. This year the porch light was on. My sisters dared me to go knock. I glanced back at them walked anxiously as I walked up the steps. They smiled and waved their hands at me, pushing me on. There wasn't a screen door so I knocked on the big one. The door swung open. My sisters stopped waving me forward. They stood there uncertainly. I was going to turn back but I heard a noise. So I took a step inside the house. They were on the couch and they were both naked. The man was old, but the woman's skin looked smooth. At first I couldn't tell what they were doi ing. Then the man stood up. Then I could see all of him as he pulled the girl up with him. I remember thinking he was so much older than her. 


On that day the radio was playing loudly. In my dream there was nothing. No sisters outside yelling for me to come on. There wasn't any slow jazz music turned up so loud they didn't hear me come in. All there was was my shocked face running back down the steps to where my sisters stood. 


Kyle came in as my muted dream drifted. He gently shook me awake. I looked at the door as if it had betrayed me. Completely forgetting that you could easily get past the lock. He pulled my face around so I was looking at him. Then he tried to explain himself. He told me that Isaac had just given him a ride. How stupid did he think I was to believe a lie like that? I told him that I wanted to leave. I could tell it hurt him. His face dropped and he let out a groan. He told me that Isaac was history and it would get better. I didn't believe him until he told me that he only wanted me. He hadn't said that in a long time. He pulled a small box out of his pocket. I startled. Flipping open the lid he showed me the ring inside. 


“Amora, I have done a lot of stupid things in my life. You have never been on of them. Will you be mine forever?” He asked.


For a moment it felt like the air in the room had disappeared. I gasped. “Do you mean it?”


He looked at me for a moment, then smiled. “I do.”


“Okay.” I say, with a sigh.


He relaxed as he placed the ring on my finger. “Isaac went with me to pick this out. I told him after I found out you were pregnant. I couldn't let anything stop me from being there for you and the baby. He understood, I guess. We went together this morning after I got out. I bought the one he didn't like.” He smiled.


I laughed. Suddenly feeling warm and fuzzy. I starred at the row of diamonds that went around the ring. Finally something good happened to me. Pulling Kyle to me I gave him a hug, then a kiss and then we made love. Falling asleep on the bed in each other's arms.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

-----------Kyle


I heard the cops come in the room and got off the bed before they could wake her up. They came in quietly and told me that I was under arrest. After handcuffing me I asked them if I could tell Amora goodbye. She looked so utterly confused. I wanted to kiss all her worries away. I felt like a captured soldier fighting against all the wrong things that had happened to her. Like I was trying my hardest to fix them. I could see the tears welling up in her eyes as they took me away. Don't be afraid, I thought, I'll be here with you...in your heart. I turned to one of the cops and asked if I could kiss her. His expression at first told me that he didn't give a rat's *** about my personal life. The other cop nodded at me. I kissed her and willingly let them take me away. 


They put me in the police car and drove me to the precinct. They sat me in a tiny room with one of those mirrors you see in the movies. I felt like a little boy sitting there. Like the recent events had made me feel smaller and younger. Then someone would come in, then leave and I'd feel like I'd aged twenty years. I felt older than dirt when they came to take my statement. It was like the room had control over time or something. The whole experience felt very intimidating. I could see myself in the mirror but I tried not to look. There were bags under my eyes and I had stubble growing everywhere. 


“Mister Moore?” Someone came in. 


“Yes.” I stated.


“I'm going to take you down to booking.” The officer said.


“Do you know when I can get out of here?” I asked, hopefully.


“No. You'll go to court in the morning.” He answered, stiffly.


He pulled me out of the room and walked me over to the elevator. Not even looking at me he pushed the button. When the elevator stopped he walked me over to a table. They took my finger prints one at at time. But it wasn't on a piece of paper, it was on a scanner. Someone checked in everything I had on me, putting it in a big bag and disappearing with it. Leaving me standing in front of the desk feeling incredibly alone and empty. Then the same cop walked me over to a wall so they could take my picture. So that I felt exposed on top off all of it. After they were finished degrading me they shoved me in a small holding cell. 


There was another guy in the cell. He was tattered, rough looking and around my age. He looked at me as I walked in and nodded, but he didn't say anything. The cell was painted hospital blue, the walls were brick and the beds were metal. If they could even be called beds. The other guy was lying on his back on one, so I took the other. A low wall separated a single toilet and a small sink. Now I knew what the lowest point of my life felt like. I turned to the other guy and opened my mouth to say something. Before I could a cop opened the door. 


“Phone call for you.” He said, in my direction. 


I got up and followed him to a table set up beside a pay phone. Taking it off the table I held it against my ear. “Hello?”


“What did you do, Kyle?” It was my uncle. I sunk down into the chair. 


“Assault.” I answered.


“What the hell?” He huffed. “Who the hell did you _assault_?” 


“Eric McGraff.” I stated.


“Mark's son? What in the world do you have against him?” 


I leaned forward and put my head in my hand. “He raped Amora.”


“What!” I heard him curse.


I explained what had happened. He made a couple of comments. After a brief silence he sighed. “I'll be at your court hearing. We'll get you out of there.”


“Thanks.” I said. We said our goodbyes and hung up.


The officer walked me back to my cell without a word. Did anybody talk around here?, I thought as I tried to lay down. But resting wasn't working, I felt like a caged animal on the verge of exploding. It didn't help that my cell mate was already asleep. He looked pretty **** comfortable himself, snoring like a chainsaw. Even though it was the middle of the night I couldn't sleep. The blue walls were closing in on me. The pressure was amazingly terrifying. So I sat there in depressed silence starring at the ceiling, letting the memories of recent events flush through my mind. Until, mercifully, I fell asleep. 


It didn't seem like I slept for long. Someone opened the door to take my cell mate out. I sat up and asked if I could make a phone call. The female cop told me that someone would be with me soon. So I shouldered the loneliness by singing to myself until someone finally came and took me to the table with the phone. I dialed the apartment's number and waited. It rang until the answering machine picked it up. Cursing, I begged Amora to pick up the phone. Every muscle in my body relaxed when she answered. I told her what was going on and what had happened. She sounded so shell shocked. I wished that I could hug her through the phone. It didn't take long before I had to let her go because I couldn't hold myself together. Solemnly, the cop walked me back to the cell.
I fell asleep soon after because there wasn't anything else to do. My body ached, it radiated stress and strain. Every time I would fall asleep the pain would startle me awake. By the time the officer came to get me for my hearing I was a hot, sweaty mess. I had never felt so degraded and disgusting in my life. It didn't seem to bother the officer at all. The irritating ******* just walked me to the courtroom and dropped me in a chair. My uncle came over and sat down next to me. He told me only to speak when spoken to and if I did speak to try and be polite. The way he said it reminded me of when I was ten. I frowned at him and looked away. 


The bailiff walked in and called for us to rise. Everyone stood up briefly as the judge came in and sat down. I felt suddenly nervous as the judge took the seat. Every sound echoed inside me and repeated itself like a broken record. I put my head in my hands to try and steady myself. Everything started to go by like a whirlwind. The judge ran over the case and my plead. The state presented itself on the matter and then let my uncle have the floor. 


“Your honor, my client was purely acting in the defense of his pregnant girlfriend. He did not mean any harm until it was clear that Mr. Eric...” He glanced at his notes, pretending to be oblivious to Eric's last name, “McGraff was guilty. As you can see from the paper that I have submitted to you, the other party in question has submitted an admission of guilt to the rape of Amora Lynn. Which, I believe, is the reason the state has chosen to step forward instead of Mr. McGraff filing charges.”


“Objection.” The man at the other table called. “We weren't aware of the submission until right before entering the court. The state would like to seek justice for the matter at hand...”


“The matter at hand derives from the rape of my client's preg_nant _girlfriend!” My uncled interrupted.


“Counselors, please approach the bench.”


I couldn't hear what was being said when they both walked the short distance to the bench. Except for the occasional emphasized words and the clearing of the bailiff's throat, the courtroom was nearly completely silent. My uncle made a few short gestures at me with the words young and protective thrown in. The other man just shook his head and walked back to his seat. The judge whispered a couple questions to my uncle and then waved him back to his seat. My uncle patted me on the back as he sat down.


“It is clear to me that Mr. Moore didn't do any permanent damage to Mr. McGraff. Due to the circumstances brought by the other incident which has been mentioned, I feel that Mr. Moore is not truly the guilty party here. As there are other matters in this case that are more pressing than the assault in question. Mr. McGraff did not suffer more than a few bruises, as stated by the defense. Mr. Moore....” The judge looked over his glasses at me. “you are free to go on the assumption that you are to stay away from Mr. McGraff no matter what the circumstances. Am I understood?”


I nodded. “Yes.”


“Good. In the matter of Kyle Moore verse the State I find the defendant not guilty. Case dismissed.”


I let out a long deep breath and let my head clear itself. My uncle patted me on the back as we walked out of of the courtroom. “Thanks,” I told him.


“No problem.” He eyed me. “If you stick around for an hour I can give you a ride.”
“No thanks.” I replied. “I've got some things to take care of.”


He nodded. “Come on. I'll show you where you can pick up your stuff.”


I followed him to the claims office. He pointed to the desk that I needed. Stay out of trouble, he said as he walked out the door. I signed off for my things and walked out into the parking lot. The lot stretched across what seemed like two city blocks. It didn't seem any different in size than the day I was brought in. The difference was in my mind. It made me feel small and alone. Nervously, I flipped open my cell and scanned down the numbers it held. I couldn't call Amora, I wanted to surprise her. I couldn't call my parents because I had not talked to them yet. That shortened the list significantly. I tried a couple friends that I knew but didn't get an answer. Frustrated, I dialed Isaac's number. 


I was sitting on the curb when he pulled up about ten minutes later. He looked me up and down. Frowning I pulled the door open and got in. 


“You're living the life.” He teased, after I told him what happened. “Getting girls pregnant and going to jail.”


“Ha ha.” I replied.


“Where are we going?” He asked.


“To your apartment so I can take a shower.” I told him. 


He looked at me. “A shower?”


“Yea, I need a shower.”


----------



## ShutUpJoe

We drove to his little studio apartment. He pulled some old clothes that I had left at his house out of a box and I got in the shower. The memories of the days that I had with him didn't even hit me until I was in the hot water. I heard him humming somewhere in the kitchen. My mind seemed to be split in two directions. One direction wanted one last night with Isaac. The other could never do that to Amora. I realized that, after having sex almost every night for the past seven or eight months, I had not had it in almost two weeks. Maybe I should just go ahead and do it, I thought, Amora would never know. My stomach flopped at the idea. Now that was odd, my forehead creased.


Getting out of the shower I quickly got dressed. Isaac was sitting in his living room flipping through a magazine when I walked out of the bathroom. He glanced up briefly, looking at me curiously. His expression automatically turned to boredom when he noticed that I was indeed dressed. I told him that I needed a ride to the jewelry store. Without asking he grabbed his keys and we left. I felt a little regret at the idea that it would be my last chance. After tonight I would never be alone with Isaac again. 


He didn't seem to have any regret. In fact he didn't seem to mind at all that I was treating him like nothing more than a friend. It was painfully clear that Isaac had either moved on already or was going to do so very soon. Not that it was any of my business.... I studied him as we walked into the jewelry store. Something was definitely different. 


He opened the door for me and we started to scan the rows of jewelry. I kept trying to blink. A teacher I had in high school told me that a clever marketing ploy was to over power your senses. They would place all the expensive items in the beginning of the aisle on the middle shelf. 





***This is all I have typed so far. I have a lot more printed out but haven't had time to edit it and type it up. I'll try to get some done when I get back from vacation, leaving next week.****


----------



## Icrazyaboutu

Its been forever since there has been more added! Anything new? I just really like this story..  Sounds great so far!


----------



## ShutUpJoe

Your mind would try to process everything at once and you would stop blinking. I followed Isaac through the rows of rings under the sign that labeled them as engagements. Most of them looked so similar they started to blur together. At one point we both stopped looking and stood starring into the displays. Isaac pointed to a band with a simple row of diamonds centered with a princess cut solitaire. 
“If I were getting married I'd want that,” he said.
I asked one of the jewelers to take it out for me. It was just simple enough to be perfect. The jeweler took my credit card, handing me the ring in a little velvet box. Getting in the car I quickly realized that I had not even looked at the cost. I laughed out the window as Isaac drove to the apartment. He pulled the corner of his lips up but said nothing. Which made me laugh all the harder. I hadn't even told him where to take me, he already knew. He pulled the car into the space and unlocked the doors. 
“You can't come up,” I said, as he opened his door.
He sighed. “I wanted to tell her I was sorry for the way I acted. It wasn't her fault, well not entirely.”
I tried to read his expression. “Don't upset her, please.”
“I won't,” He replied, holding his hands in front of him in mock surrender.
We walked up the steps and I unlocked the door. Amora flew into my arms before I could even get the door open. Her soft breath touched my neck. Just as quickly as she was in my arms she jerked out of them. I saw her expression when she saw Isaac and I knew the he wouldn't get a chance to say sorry. Because sorry wouldn't work without an explanation. She turned to me, mumbled something that stuck my heart and stormed into her bedroom. I called after her but she didn't acknowledge it. Isaac shook his head at me, trying to see a reason why I would choose her over anything else. 


“Thank you, Isaac, for the ride,” I muttered. “I think you'd better go now.”
“Sure,” he said and walked out the door. 
I let Amora sit for awhile before I went into her room, letting the anger wear off. Sitting on the couch I turned the ring in circles on my finger until I couldn't hear her sobs anymore. Gently I walked in and sat on the bed beside her. Even in her sleep she had tears on her lashes. I felt horrible for letting her suffer without telling her why Isaac had been there. I had been afraid of facing her while she was so angry. Now instead of anger I would be dealing with hurt, which was almost as bad. Sucking in a slow breath I shook her awake. 
“Amora,” I whispered, half tempted to let her sleep.
She opened her eyes and glared at me, hesitating. “What?”
“He gave me a ride,” I tried to explain. “That was all.”
She sat up. “Do you think I'm that stupid?”
“I never said you were,” I muttered, frowning.
She took a few slow breaths. “Kyle. I don't think I can do this anymore.”
“Do what?” I asked, suddenly confused.
“I don't think I can share you. I don't think I can be involved with someone who wants someone else.” Her chest shuttered.
“What are you trying to say?” I was shocked, she sounded like she was breaking up with me.
“I think I should move out,” she mumbled. 
I winced. “You don't have to move out. I promise things will get better.”
“By the time you figure things out, Kyle, it'll be too late.” 
Double wince. “I want you, Amora. I want the baby,” I said. “I can't stand the thought of losing you.”	
She huffed. “What about Isaac?”
“Isaac was a mistake. I see that now,” I sighed.
“So you guys are over?” she prodded.
I started to say something but paused. How could I make her understand? 
“Are you?” Her eyes narrowed.
“Isaac and I are never going to be together again. If this is going to work you have to understand some things.” I began.
“What things?” 
Without thinking I told her what I was on my mind. “You have got to understand who I am. You've got to be by my side. You've got to keep me from temptation. You've got to be tough and stand up against me.” I told her. “ Don't let me do the things that are going to hurt us. Most importantly you've got to be strong.”
Her eyes saddened. “You think you'll cheat on me?”
I shook my head. “I don't want to cheat on you.”
“So... we're together?” she muttered.
I wanted to propose to her somewhere special or at least do something special. But she sat before needing confirmation on how serious I was, I had to give it to her. I pulled out the ring box and showed it to her. I told her that she had never been a mistake to me, like Isaac had. Lying or not, I told her what I thought she wanted to hear. Then I asked her if she would marry me and she said yes. I hiccuped with relief and held her tightly. For a moment I thought she'd refuse, but then I remembered Amora never refused me anything. A little daunted by that fact I let Amora do as she wanted. It took me awhile to fall asleep. I should have been relishing in the fact that she had said yes. Instead I was nervous about what was to come.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

--------- Amora


A week later Kyle and I sat in the lobby of the Women's Center. I could see Kyle looking around at all of the women who were so extremely large it looked as if they were going to explode. He looked terrified as he glanced at me. I laughed lightly. We sat quietly until they called my name. He helped me up and we walked back to the weighing station. I took off my shoes and stepped onto the scale, watching as the numbers went up and down. They settled on 101 exactly. My eyes went wide and my stomach flipped. Before I was pregnant I weighed 123.... As if reading my mind the nurse asked. “What was your pre-pregnancy weight?”
I blushed and glanced at Kyle who was sitting so he couldn't see the weight the scale displayed. I wanted to say I wasn't sure, wanted to lie because if I didn't they'd know I haven't been eating right. Kyle spoke up before I had the chance, seeing the hesitation in my eyes. “The last time she told me how much she weighed it was about 120.”
Jee, thanks, I thought as the nurse glanced at me. I smiled, “Around 123.”
Kyle got up to see the numbers that were on the scale. When he saw them his forehead wrinkled, eyebrows arching he starred at me. “Is there something wrong with this scale?”
“No,” said the nurse in a deep tone. She handed me a cup and took Kyle to the room where the doctor would see me. 
Sitting in the bathroom with my urine in the cup I starred at myself in the mirror. I was about 14 weeks, almost four months and I only had a little bit of a belly. I knew it wasn't normal but with the morning sickness I really didn't know what to do about it. I walked back to the room where Kyle was reading a magazine. He pointed to the gown that lay on the table and returned to reading. I took off all my clothes and put them on the chair beside him. Suddenly I could fee his eyes on me. 
“Holy hell, Amora, you have lost a bunch of weight,” he commented.
Pulling the gown around myself I glanced over at him. “Yea.”
“You need to start eating,” he muttered, starring at arm.
“I know,” I said, feeling ashamed. “I don't like throwing up.”
A different nurse walked in and started thumbing through my files. “The doctor will be in shortly. We are going to draw blood and do an ultrasound. According to your charts you need to see a nutrition specialist. While you are waiting for the doctor I want you to go ahead and fill out all your paperwork.”
She handed me a stack of papers and then walked out. I sat there filling out the forms, randomly asked myself the questions out loud. Kyle nonchalantly messed with his phone as we waited. I handed the papers to him so he could fill out the father's medical history. Kyle went back to his cell phone without uttering a word. He looked like he was concentrating very hard on something. Nervously I played with my ring. Wondering if his behavior had anything to with my weight. Twisting it around and around on my finger until finally a doctor came in. He was reading my chart as he opened the door. The same nurse as before followed him with an ultrasound machine. 
“My name is Doctor Lawrence.” The doctor informed me as he held out his hand. I quietly shook it. “You must be Amora Lynn?”
I nodded.
“We are going to a real quick ultrasound,” he said. 
I nodded and laid back on the table. I squeezed my eyes closed as the doctor squeezed gel on my stomach. He moved the doppler around swiftly. The same static noise appeared on the little screen. The doctor looked as though he was studying the screen with all of his attention. His lips were pressed into a flat line, his eyes searching the image as if it were a tele-prompter. At first I didn't think anything was wrong. Kyle shot me a curious look before quickly turning his gaze back to the doctor. My heart sped up, my mouth dried and I stopped breathing.


----------



## Icrazyaboutu

You cant leave me hanging right here!


----------



## ShutUpJoe

This is all I've gotten right now:

Right when I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong an image appeared on the screen and the hummingbird quick heartbeat echoed off the walls. I sighed in relief, smiling reassuringly at Kyle. Kyle nodded at me and relaxed. The doctor did a good job of pretending nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He measured the baby and checked the blood flow. After writing down some notes he said he'd be back. Handing me a printout of the ultrasound he walked out with a genuine smile. For a moment I considered his expression and came to the conclusion that he was relieved not to have to give me bad news. 
After about ten minutes the nurse came in to do the lab work. She gave me a prescription for prenatal vitamins and told me where to go to see the nutritionist. The nutritionist was on the other side of the clinic. We walked past the main reception area and through the maternity ward. We ended up walking past the nursery where several newborns lay sleeping. Kyle looked at them with interest, his eyes reflecting each baby as we walked past. When he noticed I was watching he narrowed his eyes and walked past me, opening the door to the nutritionist office for me. I rolled my eyes at him and signed my name to the sheet at the receptionist's desk. There wasn't anyone else in the waiting area so we had free choice of seating. Kyle sat down in the chairs closest to the exit and starred at me.
“What?” I asked.
“I want it to be a girl,” he said.
“What if it's a boy?”
He thought about it. “I like the name Miloh.”
“I was thinking Devon Austin,” I replied.
He paused, again. “Miloh Austin.”
“What if it's a girl?” I asked, nonchalantly.
“I've always like Lily,” he replied, glancing down at his hands.
“Hmm... Lacey or Amelia?” I say to him, hoping he'd like one.
“I like Amelia,” he responded, looking at me. “How about Amelia Lilian?”
“Amelia Lilian Moore....” I let it run through my mouth, reminded that once we got married my name would be Amora Moore. “Amelia Moore,” I repeated for my benefit.
Before he could say anything we were called. We slowly walked into the small office marked with the words, Marge Laroon, Nutritionist. There were posters of the food groups plastered all over the walls. Beside the chair I sat in was a calendar with a picture of a girl who looked like she had been burned alive. The caption read “If you smoke, this is what you're doing to your lungs”. _Lovely_, I thought, as I turned my attention to the nutritionist. She was shaking her head at my charts as if she were scolding them. I had to stifle a chuckle at her expression. She looked up at me with a serious whats-so-funny look. Which to me made her look like a drowning frog. 
“You've lost quit a bit of weight,” she informed me. _Clearly_, I thought. 
“I get sick a lot,” I informed her.
She looked over to Kyle and shook her head again. He blushed and glanced at me, then back to her. I looked at the woman sitting in front of us and wondered who thought it was okay to let someone who was apparently over weight tell others they were eating wrong. She was a good seventy pounds heavier than she was supposed to be, in my honest opinion. Her mouth stretched down into her chins when she talked. She had nappy black hair pulled into a tight bun on the top of her head. It made her look like her face was being pulled back it. Her breasts rested on the desk when she sat forward, when she didn't they lay on her stomach. I looked at Kyle to see if he was thinking what I was thinking but I couldn't read his face. 
“You need to eat more. Find something that soothes your stomach. Usually crackers and 7Up work well. If you can't find something that settles your stomach find something that won't hurt when you throw up. Does it hurt when you throw up?” She paused, looking at her computer screen.
My mind was rolling on the floor laughing. _No it felt good_, I thought. “Yea, it hurts,” I told her.
“Mhm. Try eating ice cream. Don't eat anything reduced fat or fat free. Now is not the time to be dieting. That could be harmful to your baby.” She paused. “Make sure you take your vitamins. The morning sickness should pass in a few weeks.” She stops again and glances at her computer. “You are supposed to gain twenty five to thirty pounds in a pregnancy. Since you are four months along and you have lost about twenty pounds you need to gain about two pounds a week.” She looks at me. “I'm going to keep my eye on your case. The next time you come in I want to see some weight on you,” she preached.
“I'll try,” I mumble. 
Then, thankfully, we left, carrying a folder full of nutritional information. Kyle took over Marge Laroon's preaching as he drove. He threatened to make me eat fast food everyday. He wanted a nice healthy baby and bla bla bla. Everyone was acting like it was a crime to have morning sickness or something. Which wasn't really morning sickness, the person who named it probably never had it, it was more like pregnancy sickness. I could throw up at noon or nine, it didn't matter. Besides it wasn't something I could control. If I could I would just wait for the stork to show up on the doorstep without all the drama. It didn't help that we just spent four hours at a doctor's appointment. 
When we got home I made myself a couple grilled cheese sandwiches and a big glass of chocolate milk so everyone else would be happy. While I ate I wondered if grilled cheese would hurt coming up. I giggled at myself, which earned me an odd look by Kyle. I waved the last bite of my sandwich at him and downed the last of my milk. With a sigh Kyle looked away. 
That night he told me that he was sorry for treating me like a child. He wanted to support me not discourage me. He promised to make me dinner and lunch everyday he could. The next time we went to the store he was going to fill the place with 7Up, crackers and peppermints. I wondered why it took him so long to get things right. He always had to make a mess of things and then later apologize. Quietly I turned off my lamp and lay beside him. We were sleeping in my bedroom until Kyle got a new bed. Neither one of us wanted to sleep on his. I lay there for awhile wondering if I would have another silent dream.


----------



## ShutUpJoe

-----Kyle-----

I don't think I ever realized how awkward it is for a woman to be pregnant. Sitting beside Amora in the Women's Clinic made me feel unprepared for what was to come. If Amora ended looked anything like the lady that sat across from us I wouldn't be able to look at her the same ever again. This woman wasn't pregnant, she was hiding a watermelon under her shirt. A watermelon with an alien inside trying to get out. She looked miserable. Her hair looked like it hadn't been washed, her ankles were swollen over her shoes and her face was covered in acne. When she glanced up and saw me staring at her I quickly looked away. Amora caught my gaze and smiled. What the hell did I get myself into.... Amora might very well end up looking like her. Not that she looked anywhere close to pregnant now. Maybe she wouldn't get that big. 
Pressing my lips together I reached over Amora and picked up a magazine off a table beside her. Before I could open it a nurse called Amora in. Setting the magazine on my seat I pulled Amora out of her chair and followed her back into the nurse's station. Amora stepped onto the scale, which to me looked like a large animal scale and not something any female should ever fit on, and I sat down behind her. I watched as the nurse wrote down a number, frowning. She asked Amora what her weight was before she was pregnant. 



More coming.


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## CruceyMoose

It's really good! =) Wow!


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## ShutUpJoe

Thank you. I'll work on more on Monday.


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## ShutUpJoe

The nurse's attitude and Amora's got caught in the cookie jar look told me that something wasn't right. I propped myself up in the chair in time to see the numbers flash across the little window. I raised an eyebrow. Seriously? She'd lost twenty pounds. I told the nurse what she weighed and watched as Amora became annoyed. This wasn't right.... I'd much rather her be fat with acne than too thin. Of course I didn't even realize just how thin she was until she came in from giving a urine sample and took her clothes off. I don't think I've honestly seen that many protruding bones. It was like her skin had been vacuumed tight against her bones. My main thought was...did she have an eating disorder? I couldn't hold back my irritation... at myself..at her. Crossly I ran my hand through my hair and told her how I felt. But I knew it went in one ear and out the other. Finally I gave up, sitting back I waited with her until the doctor came in. Flipping on my phone and playing with it so I wouldn't argue with her. I nearly purposely ignored what was going on the whole time because I was aggravated about her not taking care of herself. The only thing that remotely peaked my curiosity was when the doctor paused briefly as if something was wrong. But once everything returned to normal I went back to what I had been doing. I thought we'd be done after this. But we weren't. By the time we got to the other office I was sort of in a bad mood. Wondering how I could get out of this next time. Say I had to work. I'd rather be doing anything else, as long as it wasn't sitting in a waiting room.


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## Paint Meadow

Wow, this is great! I just went through the whole thread.


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## ShutUpJoe

I'm working on it, lol. When I write I develop the characters in my head. I can do Amora fine, I'm just having trouble writing Kyle's perspective. I'll work on it on Monday again. 


Here is the paragraph I did a couple days ago:


At least in this waiting room we were alone. Which gave me an opportunity to think. And since we'd just passed a bunch of brand new babies I started to think about them. I didn't have much experience with babies. I knew they required a lot of time and attention. I knew Amora was going to have to have the baby. Looking at her I wondered if she'd be able to stand the pain. Reminded me of the one time she'd gotten her foot stepped on by one of her mom's horses and she'd walked on it for days before finally going to the doctor to find out she'd broken two toes. She saw me looking at her and wanted to know why. I didn't honestly want to discuss the birth of the baby so I blurted out the first thing I could think of. And me and Amora had a conversation which used to be completely normal for us. We disagreed and talked ourselves through until we reached an agreement. Even though I wasn't terribly excited by our choices in names, even if I did have a part in picking them, I figured she had more right to pick a name than I did and knew she'd probably change her mind anyway.


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## Spotted Image

This is really good. I just read it all and can't wait to read more.


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## ShutUpJoe

Will work on it more tomorrow. : )


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## Lonestar22

Love this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ShutUpJoe

Now I had to think to myself how incredibly ridiculous it was for a woman that looked like she had enough meat on her to make it in sumo wrestling to tell anyone what they should be eating. But I kept my opinions to myself as I sat down in the little black fold out chair. I knew that Amora needed to eat better. I could see now, that I was paying attention, how much she let herself go. But I doubted this was the way to get her to do it. I knew what I had to do and I was going to do just that when we left. So I was a little non-attentive during the whole meeting with the nutritionist. Honestly I could not recall two words she said, even though I made it seem like I was paying attention. It took me a minute to realize that we were finished. I stood up and nodded to the lady and walked out with Amora. As soon as we got into the car I looked over at her and shook my head. 

"Honestly Amora," I said, my voice showing my displeasure, "I thought you wanted a healthy baby? I thought you were in this because you cared." 


She had the decency to look like she was ashamed. Dropping her gaze and looking at her steering wheel. "It's not my fault I keep getting sick. I eat. You see me eat." 

I made a pft noise and leaned back in the seat, "You eat one third of what I do and that's not saying much." 


Amora opened her mouth to object but didn't say anything at first. She looked at me and then let out this heavy sigh that meant she was on the verge of just giving up. I waited for her to come up with a better excuse... but it didn't seem like she could. "I'm not going to sit here and let you waste away. Not after all the hell I've been through for this. If you aren't going to start eating then I can't be responsible for staying around to watch you starve yourself. You aren't fat and if you throw up then I guess you'll have to just eat some more." I have to admit the look I gave her was borderline bratty little brother. But I can't say that she didn't deserve it. 

"Ok," she mumbled and started up the car. I crossed my arms over my chest after buckling my seat belt and looked out the passenger window all the way home. When we got there I didn't bother to wait for her to get out. Walking up the steps I opened the door and got in the fridge. Grabbing a bottle of water and going into the living room to sit down. She went into the kitchen and made herself some food. In a way I was proud that it seemed like she'd listened. But I didn't buy that it would stay this way forever. Amora had a tendency to fall back into old habits. 


It wasn't until later that I decided to apologize. Because for one I really did care about Amora. In fact I cared about her a lot. Enough to still be here.... So hurting her feelings always weighed on me until I couldn't stand it anymore and I had to tell her I was sorry. Even if I only meant it part way. But this time I did mean it. I was sorry for talking down at her. Laying there awake long after she went asleep I started to wonder over having a child again. How unprepared we both were... It reminded me of when I used to play hide and seek with my cousins and we would scream "Ready or not here I come". I imagine that sometimes in life, no matter how prepared, you never really were ready.


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## Sunny

I just found this today and couldn't stop!

It had me bawling a few times!

Can't wait for more!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ShutUpJoe

-------AMORA


Several weeks later Kyle and I had a small ceremony in his parent's backyard. I wore a knee length white dress. The neckline dipped in a v, showing off my ever growing chest. The waist of the dress hugged where I was starting to show. It had a skirt that reminded me of Marlin Monroes'. My sister, Lorie, had put my hair up in a French twist with several blue jeweled hair pins. Kyle wore a traditional black tux with a pale blue under shirt. 


His parents had gone overboard and ordered chairs that were covered with what looked like silk tied with lace blue ribbons. Their fountain had been decorated with blue roses and ivy. The water that cascaded down even looked bluer when I walked close to it. There wasn't a groom or bride's side because there were far more people there for me than there was for Kyle. I tried not to count the people when I was standing in front of the Reverend who was doing the service but couldn't stop myself. There were thirty two people there, if you didn't count the Reverend. We didn't have a wedding party, so it was just me and Kyle standing in front of them all. He was so nervous that his hands shook. He kept his hands on mine until we had to say I do. After we kissed he smiled, like it was what he was supposed to do and walked me back down the aisle and into his parents house. 


The skirt of my dress rubbed haphazardly against his thigh as he lead me into the kitchen and sat me down at the bar. Kissing me on the top of my head he took the phone off the charger, mouthed “I'll be right back” and walked away from me. Momentarily stunned by his quick departure I got up to follow him. Before I could his parents came in and blocked my escape route. 


“You look so beautiful in that dress,” Mrs. Moore exclaimed, pulling her husband on the arm, “doesn't she dear?”

Mr. Moore looked at me absently, gave a quick smile. “Yes, she does”. 


I smiled politely at them and tried to excuse myself but before I could go any further my parents came in. My mother smoothed the side of my dress down. My father looked like he was caught between wanting to cry and extreme boredom. They started a conversation with Kyle's parents, trying to include me as much as possible. Before I could object Kyle returned. He smiled at me and stepped beside his mother and whispered in her ear. Her smile grew and she turned and walked away.


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## QH Gunner

Just read all this, I love it!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ShutUpJoe

Caterers came in with the food as soon as she left. Everyone found a place around the three tables that were set up in the dining room and kitchen. Plates were served. Kyle sat beside me but tried his best not to look in my direction. Frustrated I ate my food. My frustration turned to anger as I thought about the phone call, wondering if he had called Isaac on the day of our wedding. Wondering if he had called Isaac the moment after we had both said “I do”. Me with sincerity, him with a lost look in his eyes. Which left me wondering if he had really wanted to get married in the first place. Before I could wonder anymore one of my sisters stood up to give a toast. It was Layloni, with her beautiful long black hair nearly touching her waist. She smiled at me and nodded at Kyle while she stood with her glass in hand while she tapped the side of it. Everyone stopped talking and looked her way.


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## ShutUpJoe

Before we cut into that delicious looking cake I think everyone who has to say something should have their chance,” Layloni looked at us, “I'll be the first to admit that I had my doubts this day would ever come. But seeing my little sister all dressed up in white....glowing the way she is, I don't think that there is a chance that she'd rather be anywhere else. Amora has been in love with Kyle since she first laid eyes on him and when you are in love you can go through anything and still come out okay. I know that Kyle has a good heart and will treat my sister right. I wish them all the happiness in the world.” Finishing she sat down, her face slightly red from being the center of attention. 


Kyle's father stood up and bent his wine glass toward us. “I don't have much to say,” he said, “I'm proud of my son for doing what is best. I've always liked Amora and her family. If there is anyone that I would like to have as a daughter it would be her. Welcome to the family.”


Everyone chattered their agreements and my cake was wheeled in. I had ordered the cake a week before and when I had seen it arrive earlier that day I had to give the decorator credit. She did a fine job. It wasn't exactly like the picture but the basket weaved white and blue pattern looked almost exactly like a true basket. The small roses that flowed down the one side of the cake nearly looked real enough to not be edible. The crystal M that sat on the cake was something I hadn't seen before. Kyle and I both stood up when the cake was sat in front of us. We did the traditional cutting a piece for each of us and feeding each other a bite. Which resulted in most of my bite being smeared across my cheek. Guests laughed and snapped pictures, all I could think about was that phone call that was so important it couldn't wait. 


After everyone had finished the cake Kyle's mother came up to us and told us to go into the living room so we could unwrap our gifts. Kyle smiled at her and grabbed my hand. To me he looked mischievous. Like he knew something I didn't and I started to feel out of the loop. But I followed him into the living room and sat down beside him. His mom hushed the room and she started to hand me gifts. Silverware, crystal wine glasses, silk bed sheets... you get the point. When I opened the last one I was pretty relieved that there wasn't anymore to open. I sat back and smiled at Kyle but he was busy looking at his mom. She shushed everyone again. The room went quiet. 


“I don't know if Amora noticed or not but there wasn't a gift from us,” I hadn't been paying attention so I blushed. She smiled at me knowingly. “That's because Kyle's father and I are giving them a week's honeymoon in Hawaii.” 


I was floored. Hawaii? Really? My jaw dropped. “What about my work? I can't just go to Hawaii.” 


Kyle smiled at me. Sure he could be happy, he probably already arranged for a week off for this but I had no idea. I looked between him and his mom. The whole room was so quiet you could hear people breathing. 

“I got you two weeks off,” He leaned over and kissed me on my cheek. 


“How?” The phone call, I could smack myself. “When?” 


“We leave tomorrow morning,” The whole room started to clap and chatter excitedly and I couldn't help but feel elated myself. Hawaii... wow. 


Everyone started to go outside because it looked like it was about time to leave. I was a bit sad that the day was over but ready to go home and go to sleep. Everything had worn me out. Kyle took my hand and led me outside where they showered us with rice. We stepped both got into my car, with the cans dangling off the bumper, and started home to our apartment.


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