# I feel like I am being singled-out



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Hi

Ever since I left my barn, I feel as though my show opportunities are dwindling. 

I've never shown Sky and was planning to next year, but a cool opportunity of a hacking out with a costume contest came about and I decided we should try it.

I've had so much trouble finding a ride (got one pinned down) and now the person in charge of the show and owner of this other barn seems to not like me at all. I've inquired about coming a few days early/staying a day after but she basically told me I should reconsider coming altogether.

I'm venting, I just really hate not having my own place for him, a truck and trailer to take him there. But I'm in college and I don't have a steady and reliable income aside from that with what I pay for my horse's board.

:/


----------



## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

You should ask her why. Maybe she's being a jerk or maybe it's for reasons totally unrelated to you personally. Just ask her why she thinks it's better for you not to come.


----------



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

LoriF said:


> You should ask her why. Maybe she's being a jerk or maybe it's for reasons totally unrelated to you personally. Just ask her why she thinks it's better for you not to come.


Something along the lines of "There's going to be a lot of people there, your horse doesn't have that much outing experience" to where I think she misunderstood me. He's never shown, but he has been trailed for day trips, and at a previous barn he was directly in the hustle and bustle of horse trials.

And plus how he is supposed to gain experience if he's not in those types of situations? :neutral:


----------



## gingerscout (Jan 18, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> And plus how he is supposed to gain experience if he's not in those types of situations? :neutral:


 and THIS is the attitude I got from a lot of people which bugged the living daylights out of me, good I get I don't have the experience, but how is someone going to learn if they don't do it, you can't telepathically make yourself better..lol


----------



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

gingerscout said:


> and THIS is the attitude I got from a lot of people which bugged the living daylights out of me, good I get I don't have the experience, but how is someone going to learn if they don't do it, you can't telepathically make yourself better..lol


Exactly :-(
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## greentree (Feb 27, 2013)

Be stubborn....take him and show her how wrong her thinking was. You must have told her these things in conversation, and set up the negative feelings. 

Go, and have a great time!


----------



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

I opted not to go, not because of what she said to me but because my ride's schedule would not work for taking me there for the day. 

It's a bummer, but I'm planning for next year and any of next spring's shows.


----------



## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

Skyseternalangel said:


> Hi
> 
> Ever since I left my barn, I feel as though my show opportunities are dwindling.
> 
> ...


Let me get this straight. You keep your horses at one place but want to take him to another for a 1 day event? You also want to bring him 2 days early then stay another day? Essentially you're asking to board there for 4 days?


----------



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

natisha said:


> Let me get this straight. You keep your horses at one place but want to take him to another for a 1 day event? You also want to bring him 2 days early then stay another day? Essentially you're asking to board there for 4 days?


The event is a hunter pace with a costume contest, it's frequented by people all over the state. It's not unusual to haul in and usually overnight stay isn't bad. 

I wanted to bring him early because then I have time to hand walk him around, ride him in the ring (all standard for those hauling in)

Except I don't own my own trailer, so I had to commission someone's services but they aren't able to pick me up the day of the show, hence why I'd go early and why I am picked up later. It was just a benefit for my horse that he gets there a day early to see the grounds

Also I would pay the fees involved with overnight stay and bring my own hay. When others are able to do that, I don't see why it was a problem for me


----------



## gingerscout (Jan 18, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> When others are able to do that, I don't see why it was a problem for me


 it's all a game of favorites, and apparently this woman feels you do not deserve a chance. I delt with people who would use any excuse to get out of doing what they said they would do, because it was me, it was fine for everyone else, but since she didn't want me to learn anything I was denied every chance, kinda sounds like a similar situation. She has it in her head she can control everything about you and your horse, I had to leave my last place to realize how much I was being led around and taken advantage of, other people could see it right away, It just took me time to realize it


----------



## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

I'm sorry you had a less than stellar experience, friend. ): Honestly, it sounds like a miscommunication to me...

But I am going to play devil's advocate here.
No one owes you (generic "you!" not /you/ OP) anything. It's completely fair for even a show holder to deny whomever they want for whatever reason they want. It's not fun and it's not cool, but it's completely within their rights. And anyway, it's less money for them at the end of the day.


----------



## carshon (Apr 7, 2015)

Unfortunately I have to agree that if you are at the mercy of having another person haul your horse for you shows etc may be out of the question for awhile. I have hauled into clinics and stabled overnight - usually when signing up for something like this I have had to sign up with a form and send in a deposit for my stall/shavings etc. 
Maybe it is how you approached the BO about the show that caused some confusion? If you had filled out a registration form and submitted your stabling fees etc and she accepted them - you are in. If this was by word of mouth maybe things do not really work the way you assume they work?


----------



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

No I agree I think she was just taking things that I said out of context and formed her own opinions on what my horse and I have experienced. . It was a miscommunication I am sure, but it's still kind of sucks
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## GreySorrel (Mar 5, 2012)

And this is why I love having my own horse trailer....to do what I want, when I want and how I want and not have to be beholding to anyone....


----------



## gypsygirl (Oct 15, 2009)

I feel for you. 

But it is really hard to trailer Someone else's horse. It sucks if the horse is bad or kicks up your trailer. I used to trailer for people, but one girls horse tore up the back of my trailer. She paid to get it fixed, but it's never been the same and has caused the back end to erode. It sucks. Now I won't trailer anyone's horse but my own.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

The woman may be within her rights to tell you not to show up, but she's cutting her own throat. Horse events, shows, clinics, etc, are facing dwindling numbers, it's up to people in her position to encourage newbies, not discourage. Eventually that dame is gonna be holding the show for NO ONE.


----------



## anndankev (Aug 9, 2010)

Not quite clear on some of the details myself. 
The place hosting the show is the same place you left on bad terms with?
The place that left Sky in a tiny paneled temporary stall set up out in the burning sun?


----------



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

anndankev said:


> Not quite clear on some of the details myself.
> The place hosting the show is the same place you left on bad terms with?
> The place that left Sky in a tiny paneled temporary stall set up out in the burning sun?


No that is a different barn, in an entirely different city. The person hosting the show knows I left my previous barn, and that my horse was underweight as I had asked her if I could be put on her waiting list for boarding half a year prior since I was thinking of changing barns. 

My previous barn does have shows and clinics but I don't know if I'd ever want to return there again.


----------



## anndankev (Aug 9, 2010)

OK, now I can see why you are upset. 

Up until now I was thinking, 'why do you want to go there anyway?'.


----------



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

anndankev said:


> OK, now I can see why you are upset.
> 
> Up until now I was thinking, 'why do you want to go there anyway?'.


Right?

I did love the trails there, but it's better that my horse is healthy.


----------



## SacredSpirit (Dec 22, 2015)

I would do what makes you happy. I would also consult her about her negative feelings towards you. I would go and prove to her like people have stated above.
Good Luck and have fun!


----------



## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I have known BOs that seemingly turn cold to a boarder who leaves. Possibly BO takes it as a personal affront.


----------



## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

I trailer somewhere most every weekend that the weather is nice. Usually, it's just GF and I but sometimes DW and friends too.....every once in awhile a group of up to 25 horses....meet and ride....

It's hard enough to coordinate a ride with just GF.....and every one that's added brings it own logistical complication to the ride.....the bigger the group the harder it gets......

I don't necessarily think anyone is trying to be mean, but simply, it's easier not to come get you than it is to come and get you.


----------



## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

Saddlebag said:


> I have known BOs that seemingly turn cold to a boarder who leaves. Possibly BO takes it as a personal affront.


I was supposedly banned from my old barn because my old BO said I'd "stabbed him in the back" by leaving to a barn that was closer to my house, with far better care, for a much cheaper price. :icon_rolleyes:


----------



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Nothing anyone has said recently applies to the original post, except Drafty

This thread is also months old

I had a ride, just they didn't disclose their schedule

Which is why I had to look into staying overnight

That's when I was told I'd better not come at all

I've never boarded at this barn before
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

Yes, well, just keep your eye on the ball.....finishing school is the key, and should provide you the income to enjoy Sky the way you want to....

Patience. It'll come.


----------

