# Teen Pregnancy...



## GhostwindAppaloosa (Jun 3, 2011)

that would be parents NOT being parents IMO!


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## VT Trail Trotters (Jul 21, 2011)

GhostwindAppaloosa said:


> that would be parents NOT being parents IMO!


Ill agree, i dont know the situation but heck if the mom aint happy with her i dont blame her but dont just abandon your own child thats freaking pregnant! But I run on, "if you cant support yourself, dont have a kid."


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## BarrelracingArabian (Mar 31, 2010)

I do not support it however i have 2 friends that are pregnant one is due pretty soon and her life is a mess. The other has been with her boyfriend almost 2 years and while I know there is that heavy possibility of it not working out he is working and trying his best to support them and they have my friends families support. I do agree though that it is too early and you are losing the freedom and fun that being a kid is supposed to be but that is their choice. The 14-15 thing though that is just plain bad parenting and just plain out selfishness on the kids part for wanting to keep this baby hopefully they go adoption atleast.


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## Iseul (Mar 8, 2010)

Ohh, there were more than 5 freshman/sophomores in my school that were pregnant, and 3 in my grade that had their kids beginning of our senior year..Not to mention the dozens of children that had miscarriages or abortions.

While I don't see an issue with having sex (I did it, I can't be a hypocrit), there is an issue with not using anything and thinking it's great when you get pregnant.. o.o I know one of the freshman was actually TRYING to get pregnant last year..absolutely ridiculous. Children cannot have children and think they can parent them. I'm 18 and would die if by some miracle I got pregnant..I have college and horses to train after that..not only would I not be able to afford a child, I wouldn't be a suitable parent because I still can't always control my anger issues. I might never be able to be a suitable parent..but I'm not planning on having a child before I feel that I am.

If anything, these kids having kids should give the baby up for adoption or to a willing parent/family member to raise, IMHO. While I have no issue with abortion (what I personally would do if I wasn't ready to be a parent), not everyone agrees with it, and I see it especially with the younger groups of kids coming into high school. While they may be pro-life or what-not, they need to realize that they aren't ready for a baby and figure out a plan. 14yr olds don't have jobs and a steady place to stay. I know some parents would try to force their child into having the child and being made to take care of it as "punishment" for getting pregnant..but I feel that that is completely unjust and wrong to the new child, as they're not going to be raised right and the majority of them (around here, from what I understand) turn out to be drug addicts, non-paid prostitutes, etc. It's no good for either of those children, both mentally and physically.

But, that's just my take on it and I don't expect everyone to agree with it. To each their own.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## VT Trail Trotters (Jul 21, 2011)

Iseul said:


> Ohh, there were more than 5 freshman/sophomores in my school that were pregnant, and 3 in my grade that had their kids beginning of our senior year..Not to mention the dozens of children that had miscarriages or abortions.
> 
> While I don't see an issue with having sex (I did it, I can't be a hypocrit), there is an issue with not using anything and thinking it's great when you get pregnant.. o.o I know one of the freshman was actually TRYING to get pregnant last year..absolutely ridiculous. Children cannot have children and think they can parent them. I'm 18 and would die if by some miracle I got pregnant..I have college and horses to train after that..not only would I not be able to afford a child, I wouldn't be a suitable parent because I still can't always control my anger issues. I might never be able to be a suitable parent..but I'm not planning on having a child before I feel that I am.
> 
> ...


Thats just crazy! I dont know how big your town was but ****! Okay if kids have sex... just they should be responsible about it. You read my mind there too, it drives me crazy when the parent and other kids are all like "oh im so happy for you, your gonna be a great parent". And yeah id rather not be a parent right now either, okay i got enough issues as is and im working on getting a job! Then my girlfriend mom would kill me. Plus my girlfriend well speaking is a little young be having sex. That makes alot of sense too, they themselves with school and the fact theyre 14-15 they cant raise a kid themselves. Okay i just agree with the whole half of your post there  And im all for if women want a abortion, they should be able too including these kids especially. Okay just going with abortion vs adoption... abortion they kid doesnt have to go and for 9 months be pregnant... and adoption, they still need to give birth to the child and carry it for 9 months and go through all that. That alone is stressful enough! Best to just not get pregnant in the first place!


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## BarrelracingArabian (Mar 31, 2010)

I agree with you guys I am 17 and just entering my senior year between trying to find a job, training my new soon to be horse and dealing with family stuff I'm pretty sure I would die if I somehow ended up pregnant. I love kids and everyone tells me I will be an awesome mom but I don't plan on having any till atleast end of my 21st year, atleast!! I plan to experience as much as possible now do college and what not I could not handle being a mom.


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## VT Trail Trotters (Jul 21, 2011)

Good plan Barrel! Im 16, looking for a job too and hell i dont know what i wanna do for a career! My girlfriend is on her Freshmen year... oh im a Junior. But yeah if she got pregnant were both in a mess... i told her no getting pregnant till your 20 something! So about 7 years


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## texasgal (Jul 25, 2008)

It seems to be the thing to do ... 

they just have ... no .... idea .....


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## BarrelracingArabian (Mar 31, 2010)

Yeah I will stick to me 4-6 babysitting kids haha they are enough to make me not want to have kid(s) for quite a while! haha. I turn 18 in february and I can't waite for the job oportunity to open up as I live in a small town it is just soo difficult with there being so many unemployed and so many teens. I've also seen 4 of my older cousins go through being pregnant and haha noooo thank you!!


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## Iseul (Mar 8, 2010)

VT Trail Trotters said:


> Thats just crazy! I dont know how big your town was but ****! Okay if kids have sex... just they should be responsible about it. You read my mind there too, it drives me crazy when the parent and other kids are all like "oh im so happy for you, your gonna be a great parent". And yeah id rather not be a parent right now either, okay i got enough issues as is and im working on getting a job! Then my girlfriend mom would kill me. Plus my girlfriend well speaking is a little young be having sex. That makes alot of sense too, they themselves with school and the fact theyre 14-15 they cant raise a kid themselves. Okay i just agree with the whole half of your post there  And im all for if women want a abortion, they should be able too including these kids especially. Okay just going with abortion vs adoption... abortion they kid doesnt have to go and for 9 months be pregnant... and adoption, they still need to give birth to the child and carry it for 9 months and go through all that. That alone is stressful enough! Best to just not get pregnant in the first place!


The funny (not really) thing is, my town is fairly small..maybe, jus maybe 500 in my graduating class? And only about 350 or so in the class before me. I can only compare to the towns around me though, I know the town my boyfriend's from generally has 600-700 kids per year graduating, so our town's small compared to theirs.

But, that's my take on abortion..if I were to get pregnant and not keep it, why basically put my life/career/etc on hold to birth a child I don't plan on keeping? The child isn't really a child when abortions can be done, so I can't seem to find out where the issue is..but I guess that's a whole other topic, lol. A 14-15yr old shouldn't have to go through the whole pregnancy taking pills, putting life on hold (can't ride or do anything semi-risky), etc for a child that they don't need, nor do they probably even want.

But, a really terrible story about a girl I know who got pregnant..She got herself kicked out of her house, moved in with her boyfriend, got pregnant, and moved back home. Sounds semi-normal, until she asks to go riding with Drew (friend) and she jumps on his pony. Now, if it came down to it and I just HAD to jump a horse bareback while I was pregnant, this is the pony to do it on. She then ranted on facebook about 3-4 days later about how she did this and that to have a miscarriage, and then exclaim that even jumping a horse bareback wouldn't get her a miscarriage! Drew flipped out and took her down a few notches over facebook and then blocked her; she's not allowed on his property, let alone on his horses after she even threatened to burn his barn down and kill his horses...Anything she could say, she came at him with that? She had her own horse that she abused and tortured, but being a horse owner, how could you even threaten something like that?
But anyway..who in their right mind TRIES to have a miscarriage by using someone and their horses? If you don't want the kid, go get an abortion, not use someone's partner, 2d barrel pony, trail pony, and lesson pony to make it look like an accident if all you're going to do is flaunt that you used someone and his property/partner to have a miscarriage. -.- ****es me off to no end that she did that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BarrelracingArabian (Mar 31, 2010)

_She then ranted on facebook about 3-4 days later about how she did this and that to have a miscarriage, and then exclaim that even jumping a horse bareback wouldn't get her a miscarriage!
_
Ohhh I would have ripped her a new one gotten a restraining order etc this girl is just one of those that I don't understand. People can be soooo cruel!


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## VT Trail Trotters (Jul 21, 2011)

Iseul said:


> The funny (not really) thing is, my town is fairly small..maybe, jus maybe 500 in my graduating class? And only about 350 or so in the class before me. I can only compare to the towns around me though, I know the town my boyfriend's from generally has 600-700 kids per year graduating, so our town's small compared to theirs.
> 
> But, that's my take on abortion..if I were to get pregnant and not keep it, why basically put my life/career/etc on hold to birth a child I don't plan on keeping? The child isn't really a child when abortions can be done, so I can't seem to find out where the issue is..but I guess that's a whole other topic, lol. A 14-15yr old shouldn't have to go through the whole pregnancy taking pills, putting life on hold (can't ride or do anything semi-risky), etc for a child that they don't need, nor do they probably even want.
> 
> ...


Haha our school is 500 people! Our grad class is 120 people! We have a small school O_O. And thats very true there, a 14-15 year old shouldnt and doesnt need to go through that! Its not right, and yeah most adoptions take place when the i guess fetus? Its a actual human yet or what you could rightfully call a human. 20 weeks... id say its a human cause it can be born and live. But at 1 month, no it wouldnt at all.

Thats a horrible story!  I dont know how the heck someone could do that!! And yes if you do that you shouldnt have a child, you shouldnt be a parent, i wouldnt trust anyones kid with her!


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## Iseul (Mar 8, 2010)

Truthfully, I wouldn't trust an ant with her..and I kill ants all the time. She's completely psychotic, and I'm really surprised Drew talked to her for as long as he did, especially letting her ride his prized pony when he's seen what she did to her mare before she was sold...The mare I would've bought with no doubt if I could've; she was the perfect little mare for anyone but this girl, she'd come up to anyone else in the field, etc. She beat her if she flicked her ear the wrong way or put her head up too high to look at something, I refused to watch her ride or handle the mare because I would've ripped the lead out of her hand and backed the mare over top of her. >.>
But, that's here nor there in this thread, haha.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GreyRay (Jun 15, 2010)

Quick question. Why is having an abortion OK, but the girl is a horrible person for trying to have a miscarage?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Bearkiller (Aug 10, 2011)

Having a child isn't the end of the world. Plenty of people have been through this and come out just fine. Is it smart? Nope. Is it going to be easy? Absolutely not. Is it selfish to keep the baby? Depends on the intentions of the mother/father. I certainly wouldn't say yes unless I knew the people. If it were my own son or daughter I would encourage them to keep the baby if they are at all capable. There is alot of stress and guilt(rightfully so) associated with abortion and adoption. For the parents who adopted their kid out and for the kid. It's a rough life for alot of them.............


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## Iseul (Mar 8, 2010)

GreyRay said:


> Quick question. Why is having an abortion OK, but the girl is a horrible person for trying to have a miscarage?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Because she used someone and their property to try and do it. She couldn't do it on her own and USED someone who doesn't believe in abortion. Much less to comment on the fact that I don't see anyone running around facebook shouting that they just had an abortion or that they are going to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

Wow, that's just unimaginable. There's no pregnancies at my high school, thankfully. I feel for the babies that will have to be raised by kids.


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

oooh i know im gonna regret saying this.....
my graduating class had 70ish people, my school had a total of around 600 people....they had a day care for all the baby mommas so they could finish school.....we're talking 90% of my class had a baby on their hip....and no baby daddy


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## EvilHorseOfDoom (Jun 17, 2012)

>.< The levels of stupid displayed by these girls, I'm hoping intelligence isn't inheritable - or it'll be survival of the stupidest...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ray MacDonald (Dec 27, 2009)

I have only seen a few pregnant girls that are still in high school. But I have had friends.. Well ex friends.. Lie to me about being pregnant :/ They would make up this whole story and lie to convince people they are pregnant when they werent...

It is also a new 'fad' that is going around... I guess because of that show "16 & pregnant"... I think its downright stupid!


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## srh1 (Jun 3, 2012)

The thing about "safe sex" though is condoms fail, and so does birth control. I've known people to become pregnant while practising safe sex. Teens aren't old enough to be making those kinds of choices.

Once you do start making adult choices like that you should be expected to be resonsible for the choices you made. I do believe that teens should be made to carry their baby to full term before letting it go for adoption. Abortion stops beating hearts. I don't know what people think they are looking for before they consider it human life.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Hasn't anyone seen the made for TV movie about the group of high school girls who got pregnant on purpose?

I knew 13 year olds that we're pregnant when I was in junior high - and that was in no way recent!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

If you cannot afford the outcome of having unsafe sex, then you need to refrain.
Teenage pregnancy is an epidemic. there are a lot of young people placing their future and lives at risk. 
If you can get pregnant you can catch AIDS or any other STD.
srh1, i agree with most of what your saying but condoms rarely break if used correctly. Find a condom open it up and fill it with water. It will hold a lot.
the sad part about teenage pregnancy is that not only the mother will most likely endure poverty for the rest of her life. The child will as well.
The children of teenage mothers are more likely to not finish highschool and to repeat the cycle by having children out of wedlock.
Young lives are being place at risk and most could have been prevented.
These abstinance only programs work only on paper.
With the way our soceity bombards the young people with sex without consequences we should not be suprised at the numbesr of teenage prenancies.
Shalom


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## Faceman (Nov 29, 2007)

dbarabians said:


> With the way our soceity bombards the young people with sex without consequences we should not be suprised at the numbesr of teenage prenancies.
> Shalom


I prefer to think of it as the way irresponsible liberal parents let their little girls run around looking and acting like hookers, we should not be surprised at the number of teenage pregnancies. There have always been a handful of single teen pregnancies - even in the middle ages when I was young. But the high number we see today is due to parents that are permissive, irresponsible, or morons...or all of the above, and to a liberal society that enables teens and encourages kiddie sex...


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

Faceman, I'm going to have to disagree on your last post.
The failure to address and combat the sexualization of our children has nothing to do with being liberal or conservative.
It does have a lot to do with parenting that i do agree with.
What has been proven is that parents that address the issues of sex intelligently and realisticly have children that avoid this trap.
By that i mean that the inform their children of the risk and causes of teenage preganancy and inform their children of the use of birth control.
I know just as many girls that come from religous and conservative homes that are pregnant as those that come from permissive homes.
parents who pull their head out of the sand usually prevent this from happening.
Shalom


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## Brighteyes (Mar 8, 2009)

A thing I've seen recently (more in real life discussions than this particular thread; I haven't read all of it)... When most talk about teen pregnancy, it's always, "those girls made a terrible decision, those girls should have been more careful", etc.

What about the _guys_? Everyone complains the girls are overly sexualized, etc, and have a myriad of complaints about modern teenage females. Talks about teen pregnancy is usually centered about girls, like they are the ones responsible.

Which they are responsible, but it takes two to tango. What about the other half? 

Girls get all the emphasis put on their virginity (or lack therefore). They are subjected to the Madonna/***** complex. They get the promise rings and stuff. A guy has sex? Well, yeah. Guys do that. *eyeroll* Girl has sex? Big deal. Girl gets pregnant? Well, _she_ should have been more careful.


Just something I've noticed...


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

Women and young girls have the burden of birth control almost solely placed on them.
Young men are congratulated and idolized if they establish their virility.
Its been that way for thousands of years.
Then again condom commercials are controversial and rare.
viagra and other enhancement drugs though are seen regularly on TV.
The message is clear, the sexuality of men should be praised and commended and birth control should be left to the woman.
There is no equality in having a baby. Shalom


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## Faceman (Nov 29, 2007)

dbarabians said:


> Faceman, I'm going to have to disagree on your last post.
> The failure to address and combat the sexualization of our children has nothing to do with being liberal or conservative.
> It does have a lot to do with parenting that i do agree with.
> What has been proven is that parents that address the issues of sex intelligently and realisticly have children that avoid this trap.
> ...


Open your eyes, db...liberalism and parental permissiveness go hand in hand. Failure to recognize that is burrying one's head in the sand. 

And to say that as many teen pregnancies happen in religious and conservative homes as liberal homes is bull poop. Do they happen? Of course, but conservative/religious parents exercise much more control over their kids.

Having differing views is healthy and fun, but your failure to confront reality is perplexing considering your credentials...


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

Faceman I am a therapist.
i have just as many conservative clients that can't control their children as liberals. 
It is not a case of political identity that can cause or prevent unplanned pregnancy .
Just as I have counseled as many teens that have abused drugs and alcohol from both ends of the political spectrum.
Teen pregnancy is not necessarily a mark against the parents.
With the internet and abundant sex our children are exposed to from a very early age parents must engage their children about all aspects of sex.
Something most parents are uncomfortable with. Naturally so.
I am a liberal Faceman.
I was however a very strict parent. Being liberal has nothing to to with my parenting skills.
For the record I know of no liberal that thinks its ok for a child to be pregnant.
making sex something that is dirty and secretive as it was in the earlier generations and by abstinece only education places our teens head in the sands.
Studies have proven that educating our teens is the best form of preventing teen pregnancy.
Look at Europe. Fewer teens pregnant and fewer abortions. Shalom


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## calicokatt (Mar 5, 2012)

I was one of those girls who was pregnant in high school. Had my oldest daughter my senior year. I was also raised by religious/conservative parents, went to a private christian school etc. Let me just say that those parents had NO CLUE what their kids were up to. NONE. The good little christian girls may leave the house in modest clothing, but the other stuff is in the backpack, or underneath, the makeup is kept at school, and if you want to talk ****ty, look for the girl with the strictest parents. 

Was it a good decision for me to have a baby at 17? Absolutely not, and I am doing my darnedest to make sure it doesn't happen with my girls. Do people need to go around calling pregnant teenagers stupid? Of course not. Some of them really do get pregnant on purpose, but for most, its irresponsibility and immaturity. You can't blame a child for being a child and not an adult. I think a lot of it has to do with parents who aren't open with their kids, and never have that one on one sit down talk with them about the consequences that can come from sex before a person is mature enough to handle it. If a teenager gets ALL of their information from their friends, how can they make a good decision to begin with?


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## Faceman (Nov 29, 2007)

dbarabians said:


> Faceman I am a therapist.
> i have just as many conservative clients that can't control their children as liberals.
> It is not a case of political identity that can cause or prevent unplanned pregnancy .
> Just as I have counseled as many teens that have abused drugs and alcohol from both ends of the political spectrum.
> ...


Again, you are still not in the real world, and I cannot understand why. Even if you "have just as many conservative clients that can't control their children as liberals", which I sincerely doubt, the fact is there are twice as many conservatives in this country as liberals, so if your patients were split 50-50 the incidence among liberals would obviously be much higher. I stated earlier that of course children of conservative families get knocked up - I have a niece to prove it. But you can never convince me the loss of moral values we have experienced as a society have not influenced the incidence of teen pregnancies - along with increased drug use and other moral issues. I am not blinded by whatever it is that causes liberals to fail to see the world as it really is and rationalize immoral behavior. You don't see conservatives supporting abortion, wanting to legalize pot, supporting Planned Parenthood, and the like.

See the world as it REALLY is - not what you THINK it is, or what you think it should be...


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

Faceman, I do reside in the real world as my career has placed me at the fore front of this debate.
I have done a lot of family counseling in my career. this topic has paid my bills more than a few times. If you get my drift.
Your logic would insist that my daughters would be unwed and drug addicted. I can assure you they are not.
It would also suggest that the jewish community which votes very liberal for the most part would be swamped with unwed mothers.
This is not the case.
Planned Parenthood and abortion have not increased unplanned pregnancies. 
Yes i agree that , the acceptance by soceity has increased the number of pregnant teens. 
The easy acces teens and their families have to assistance has exasperated the problem. Thats logical.
With conservativews being unrealistic about birth control and sex education. This is not the 50's with black and white TV, I Love Lucy, and 2 parent households. Cable and the internet have changed how information reaches our children.
Without accepting those changes parents today are placing the education of their children in the hands of other teens and the mass media.
Shalom


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## SouthernTrails (Dec 19, 2008)

dbarabians said:


> If you cannot afford the outcome of having unsafe sex, then you need to refrain.
> Teenage pregnancy is an epidemic. there are a lot of young people placing their future and lives at risk.
> If you can get pregnant you can catch AIDS or any other STD.
> srh1, i agree with most of what your saying but condoms rarely break if used correctly. Find a condom open it up and fill it with water. It will hold a lot.
> ...


D, I agree...

The excuse some use of the condom broke or the pill did not work is a cop-out. The Pill containing both oestrogen and a progesterone is 99.8% effective, the progesterone only pill is 98% effective. The condom is 98% effective when used properly.

On a side note, when I was in school some 40 years ago, if a girl was pregnant they were not allowed in a standard public school, it was considered a bad role model for the other kids.

Now it seems our society somewhat glamorizes it as it is no big deal, the worst thing is Social Diseases can be Deadly, ie Aids, kids just do not think about things like that..... Education is the key, not handing out BC pills.... Pills do not stop Diseases....



.


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

STG, I'm with you 100%.
I'm not saying that abstinance should not be taught but frank and open discussion on sex needs to be happening also.
Faceman that is a qoute from another logical conservative like you. C. Evert Koop the former Surgeon General for the Reagan Administration.
Not a word for word qoute I'm getting to old to remember.
Not that you would know anything about that. Shalom


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## Faceman (Nov 29, 2007)

dbarabians said:


> Your logic would insist that my daughters would be unwed and drug addicted.


Now that's rather silly there, db. My logic "insists" no such thing. Individuals are not groups, as you very well know...at least I certainly hope you treat your clients as individuals and don't cookie cutter them. Most Republicans are conservative and most Democrats are liberal, but that doesn't mean there are no conservative Democrats or liberal Republicans. The majority of whites and blacks in the US are Protestant and the majority of hispanics are Catholic, but that doesn't mean there are no white Catholics or hispanic Protestants. And there are immoral and promiscuous children in both conservative and liberal families. I was generalizing, which you know very well...neither one of us are prejudiced and try to fit everyone in a particular group in a mold. I'm not sure if you were looking for a sound bite there or what...


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## srh1 (Jun 3, 2012)

I look through things from a Biblical view point and this is how I see it. Teen pregnancies are an expected result of a national spiritial deficit that is about as huge as our our national financial debt. Marriage is nothing other than a legal conract that can be broken if you want out. So why wait till then to have sex? Being in love or "committed"(how many teens that think they are last a month?) is enough. And teens that aren't going to show forethought about using condoms or birth control are also not going to think, "Hmmm, I should wait till I'm an adult and better prepared for the potential consequences."

Honestly, I don't blame them. There's a chance if I had gone to public school I would have gotten pregnant as a teen. I was just lost, depressed and looking for someone that loved and valued me, it was a very trying time. Kids have to be more than informed. They have to feel loved, appreciated, respected and protected by family or they will look for that feeling elsewhere. 

I had no relationship with my parents at that point, and even though I had friends.. something was missing. My parents also had a rocky relationship (to the point I wanted them divorced) and it hurt me as much as it hurt them. I thought for a while, marriage doesn't work... what's the point? 
Later on I did learn and understand that marriages can thrive and real love can last. But I didn't know that then.

There are so many reasons that teen pregnancy is a big issue now...

Teens have sex because they want to feel loved. Valued. Accepted. Respected. Safe. Secure.

Because they think they are looking for a distraction from all the problems they have that they aren't equipped to deal with.

Because they don't understand the potential outcomes. I don't even just mean the pregnancy and STDs. Also broken hearts and for some, disappointment in self or shame. 

Because they feel pressured into it. This can be by their date, by their peers, or just society in general. Let's face it, if you're still a virgin past a certain age it's considered weird!

They don't see any point in waiting. They don't value marriage or sex as sacred. 

Those are the biggest reasons that popped into my head right away. Good parenting can't fix everything, but it can help with some of those. Your kids need you to love and support them but be brutally honest about the facts of life and the consequences actions can have. Your kids and teens need you in their lives! Even if they act like they don't want you there.


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

It's a liberal society that we are living in that says, "Oh, it's ok. They made a mistake. Our social safety net is here to help them anyway." Our entire society is based on supporting the weak and irresponsible. How about we make individuals support their own weak and irresponsible instead? So, if the teen has a baby, then the adult (teen's parent) would be responsible for the baby. Gee, I wonder if any parents would figure out that teaching responsible behavior would benefit them? 

<sigh> but of course, the teen's parent wouldn't be able to care for the baby because <insert lame excuse here> so society would still be stuck with the bill. And the future...

Sorry, but I really don't agreee with society bending over backwards to support people that can't support themselves. I have one child would was too smart for the school system and there was not a single thing in place for him. But all the kids that got labelled as having a learning disability, or physical disability or behaviorial issue would get all kinds of attention, support and tools. I see something seriously wrong with that balance. If you're going to support one to that extreme, you need to support them all. We will soon (if we don't already) have more people that need support than those that are able to give it. Because the easy ride is given away to those who beg for it instead of making EVERYONE work and be responsible to their full potential.

Back to the pregnant teens -- so why are they pregnant? Because 1. it's free welfare (yes, I have met plenty of these "moms", and many are 2nd or 3rd generation "welfare moms") or 2. they were not taught that actions can and do have consequences from a very early age. It needs to start before school.


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

Oh, Faceman -- I am conservative and I do support legalizing pot and I do support abortion. I'm don't know what "planned parenthood" is -- sounds good, but from your POV, I'm guessing it isn't.

As for the religious side of things -- up here, the incidence of teen pregnancy is actually higher in Catholic schools. I think it has something to do with very religious families not talking about things because they are taboo. Ignorance and/or denial and/or hiding subjects are not the answer, they are problems.


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## EvilHorseOfDoom (Jun 17, 2012)

Hmmm, really gotta disagree here. No point in trying to control teen hormones - about as likely to succeed as putting a stallion in with the mares and saying "now, now, no hanky-panky boys and girls!" Teen pregnancy rates are far higher in rural areas, where people are more likely to be religious, and also more likely to have poorer education outcomes and less opportunity. And a LOT of boredom (especially out in some of the truck stop towns in Australia).

I grew up with plenty of hobbies, a good education, smarts, ambition and a healthy level of self respect. Morals had nothing to do with me not being a teen mum. But I think what I had came easier in the city - more to do, more opportunity, better role models and more friends to choose from of either gender. The immorality wouldn't have stopped me (I'm an atheist) - the fact that a baby at that age pretty much kills off your future did.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

Faceman its funny i thought you were trying to provoke me.
So I thought i was indeed taking the bait.
Your right though we both are too logical to make blank statements about groups in soceity.
srh you hit the nail on the head about teen pregnancy.
It is a very complex issue.
With the teen pregnancy rates exploding though we will not see a decrease in the next generation if we do not address ALL the causes.
Nothernmomma you are correct in stating that it is passed on to the next generation.
I used to volunteer at a home for at risk teenage girls.
Most came from single parent homes and were born to teens .
I'm a liberal but do not beleive that children should be brought into the world by those who are not prepared emotionally or financially to have them. Shalom


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## westerncowgurl (Jul 14, 2010)

i didnt read through all the posts, but if u think your schools are bad for teen pregnancy my town has the highest teen pregnancy rate in ontario, im 17 and considered to "old" to have a baby. its crazy


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## VT Trail Trotters (Jul 21, 2011)

westerncowgurl said:


> i didnt read through all the posts, but if u think your schools are bad for teen pregnancy my town has the highest teen pregnancy rate in ontario, im 17 and considered to "old" to have a baby. its crazy


Thats crazy! And your to "old" to have a baby makes no sense now... your only 17 and here if your 17 and have a child your pretty young to have one. Normally people have kids in their mid 20s!


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## LegendsChic (Jul 25, 2012)

GhostwindAppaloosa said:


> that would be parents NOT being parents IMO!


Well I got pregnant when I was 17 in grade eleven. My parents were being parents, they were actually FANTASTIC parents, and we went to church every Sunday, my mom was a TA at the local Christian school, and both upstanding members of the church. It was me who decided to have unprotected sex and therefore resulting in the best mistake of my life. My daughter is now a beautiful coming 20yr old. She is extremely successful in both her horse career as well as having an amazing full-time job where she makes much more than me, the brat, LOL!! 
No matter if the parents are being parents or not, its the decision making of the teen that will result in there being a child being made. I'd like to know where all the fathers are of these girls?? Did they coward out and not being made to take responsibility of these unborn children that they helped to create? It's pretty easy to look at a pregnant teen and say, "Look at her, she wasn't so smart", she didn't get that way by herself, it did take two.


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## LegendsChic (Jul 25, 2012)

LegendsChic said:


> I'd like to know where all the fathers are of these girls??


I ment to type: I'd like to know where all the fathers are of these unborn children?


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## Faceman (Nov 29, 2007)

dbarabians said:


> Faceman its funny i thought you were trying to provoke me.


No, not at all. But sometimes you don't seem to recognize the basic differences between liberal and conservative philosophy, and that generalizations can indeed be made. I attribute that mostly to the fact that, like me, you are not liberal straight down the line any more than I am conservative straight down the line. I think that is likely the case with most people. However, that doesn't change the fact that a larger percentage of liberals than conservatives support abortion, support legalizing pot, are more permissive, and lick more bunnies. As an analogy, our black population is 13%, yet 39% of our prisoners are black. That doesn't demean blacks, nor does it mean that all blacks are criminals and no whites are criminals. It is mere fact indicating the incidence of crime is higher among blacks than whites. To pretend it isn't true or to make excuses is to ignore reality. You can explain the reasons for crime or teenage pregnancy, but you can't rationalize or justify them.

To ignore that poverty begets poverty, smoking and drugs beget smoking and drugs, permissiveness begets permissiveness, religion begets religion, promiscuity begets promiscuity, and so on, is unrealistic. Are those begets written in stone? Of course not. Many children do not emulate their parents' lifestyle. But the tendency is there nonetheless, as you know from your work.

As to education, I agree with you - we need to provide education to our youngsters, and education can go a long way to help resolving social issues. But you as a liberal and I as a conservative will disagree on what education should be provided. You mention the Sugeon General earlier, and I certainly don't subscribe to the Joycelyn Elders method. Nor do I subscribe to teaching sex to 3rd graders or demonstrating how to use a condom to 7th graders. There is a fine line between teaching and enabling, and IMO liberal philosphy tends to enable. However if we DON'T provide education, then our children are left to be bombarded with permissive sexual attitudes from TV, movies, magazines, peers, poor role models, and so on. It is a bit of a problem and we all have our own opinions on the best approach to address it...


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## Maple (Jan 10, 2012)

I'm just going to throw my two cents in:

We can't really put the blame of teenage pregnancy on anybody but those individuals who have gotten themselves into that situation. There is no point blaming tv, music or society. At this stage, we are all well aware of what happens when you take that step and it was their decision to get their kit off. 

Girls on here... get out and enjoy your youth. Enjoy the freedom to have fun. Take all the necessary measures to ensure you won't be "caught". I was engaged at 20 and married at 22, had my first child at 24. I love my kids, I love my husband but believe me when I say this - If I could go back to being 19, having fun and enjoying my life I darn near would. I decided I needed to be big and grown up; when I had plenty of time to do that later in life. 

When I'm 50, my kids will be older than 25 - and I was in a rush to settle down why?


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

Maple, at 50 and your kids older than 25 -- you get to enjoy the best years of your life without having to worry about your kids! I think your timing was great!!! When grandkids come along, you won't be exhausted by them and they will enjoy their grandparents for many years.

Someone posted on here about incidence of unwanted pregnancy being higher in rural areas due to boredom and less education. I don't agree with that one bit. Just because our kids don't go to the mall to hang out, or join the local gym, or maybe the internet is sketchy at best, or the cell phones don't work all the time doesn't mean they are bored. Nonsense. Hiking, bicycling, swimming at the lake, canoeing, camping, snowshoeing, farm work, star gazing, shelter building, small pets, crafts (from knitting to blacksmithing), reading... oh I could go on forever. As for lack of education -- that's a farce in this day. Ya, the elementary school that my kids may not have had the resources available to a school 3 times the size, but they still had every opportunity to learn as much as they wanted to. The limit was their desire, not the school.

Rural kids, in general, actually have a better understanding of the realities of life because they seem them all the time. Explaining sex to kids that see new kittens in the barn is a whole lot easier than to kids that don't even know where the meat in their burger came from.


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## Delfina (Feb 12, 2010)

Maple said:


> I love my kids, I love my husband but believe me when I say this - If I could go back to being 19, having fun and enjoying my life I darn near would. I decided I needed to be big and grown up; when I had plenty of time to do that later in life.
> 
> When I'm 50, my kids will be older than 25 - and I was in a rush to settle down why?


I was married at 20, first kid at 24 and the 2nd at 26. I wouldn't change a thing. Most of my friends are somewhat newly married and chasing toddlers, they have huge mortgages as partied their way through the 20's and then went OMG and wham, married, house, kids all within a year or two whereas I took 4 years to get our finances situated and then had kids. 

My kids are 8 and 11 and I'm not chasing toddlers or changing poopy diapers. We're off tubing down the river, hiking, climbing, chasing toads and bunnies across the yard, riding, cleaning barns and still have enough energy to keep on going. My husband that is 16yrs older than me.... he's downright tired after a couple activities and headed home. 

I'm old enough to be financially settled and young enough that I am downright enjoying my kids and not only can I keep up with them, I'm right in the midst of everything with them AND when they head out on their own, I'll still be young enough that I won't be the granny on the porch in the rocking chair.



NorthernMama said:


> Someone posted on here about incidence of unwanted pregnancy being higher in rural areas due to boredom and less education. I don't agree with that one bit. Just because our kids don't go to the mall to hang out, or join the local gym, or maybe the internet is sketchy at best, or the cell phones don't work all the time doesn't mean they are bored. Nonsense. Hiking, bicycling, swimming at the lake, canoeing, camping, snowshoeing, farm work, star gazing, shelter building, small pets, crafts (from knitting to blacksmithing), reading... oh I could go on forever. As for lack of education -- that's a farce in this day. Ya, the elementary school that my kids may not have had the resources available to a school 3 times the size, but they still had every opportunity to learn as much as they wanted to. The limit was their desire, not the school.
> 
> Rural kids, in general, actually have a better understanding of the realities of life because they seem them all the time. Explaining sex to kids that see new kittens in the barn is a whole lot easier than to kids that don't even know where the meat in their burger came from.


I grew up in the city, my father was Active Duty Military and we basically moved from one city to the next until he retired and settled down smack in the middle of Los Angeles. 

My kids are not bored, they'd love to have enough time to BE bored. They have far more opportunities than I did at their age. My kids won't need "driver's training", the 11yr old is fully capable of driving my crew cab truck w/hay trailer attached. Both kids think the vehicles are "boring"... they want to operate the *big* tractor (our 95hp one, not the lil John Deere they mow with). They have way, way, way more chores than the average kid, not that they mind. To them it's just life that we are up at the crack of dawn and out feeding chickens, goats, pigs, cows, horses, turkeys, etc... They obviously don't mind, they are pestering me to buy them baby lambs! Older kiddo fixes meals, bakes bread and is learning how to can produce. Lil one thinks nothing of washing, blanching and preparing vegetables for the freezer. 

I went water-skiing on a lake as a kid, my kids go wakeboarding down the irrigation ditch. Instead of a boat, we pull the wakeboard with the 4wheeler. WAY more fun if you ask me, instead of driving around the lake in circles for hours and hours waiting for your turn, the kids are off swimming, chasing small animals, running through the house and whatnot until it's their turn and of course who *gets* to drive the ATV is hotly contested. 

They supplement their allowances by selling our extra eggs. They adore showing off their chickens to everyone that comes to buy eggs, especially when people are terrified that our fluffy chickens might bite. We herd our cows with the ATV's.... nothing like two screaming, squealy girls barreling after a steer on a tiny ATV. Or looking out back to see a pig running on by with one kid riding it and the other chasing along behind. 

My kids still slightly remember what it was like when we lived in the city and if asked they have zero desire to return. We really don't live any different than in the city other than lots of open space, tiny class sizes at school and a minimum 30min drive to any sort of store. We actually have Fiber Optic run to the house and Cell Phones have great reception for the most part.


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## Maple (Jan 10, 2012)

NorthernMama said:


> Maple, at 50 and your kids older than 25 -- you get to enjoy the best years of your life without having to worry about your kids! I think your timing was great!!! When grandkids come along, you won't be exhausted by them and they will enjoy their grandparents for many years.
> 
> .


 



Delfina said:


> I was married at 20, first kid at 24 and the 2nd at 26. I wouldn't change a thing. Most of my friends are somewhat newly married and chasing toddlers, they have huge mortgages as partied their way through the 20's and then went OMG and wham, married, house, kids all within a year or two whereas I took 4 years to get our finances situated and then had kids.
> 
> My kids are 8 and 11 and I'm not chasing toddlers or changing poopy diapers. We're off tubing down the river, hiking, climbing, chasing toads and bunnies across the yard, riding, cleaning barns and still have enough energy to keep on going. My husband that is 16yrs older than me.... he's downright tired after a couple activities and headed home.
> 
> ...


 
My point of the post was to encourage the younger people on here that you don't need to be in a rush to get to the next stage of life, and to enjoy their youth. You're dead right that I will get to enjoy my 50's, but there doesn't need to be a rush to get there, I could have waited another 5 years and still got the most out of my life only 5 years later . 

I was pregnant when my friends were out at shows, nights away with friends, clubbing and seeing the world.. even now with the economic situation many are out travelling Thailand, New Zealand and Australia. Having a baby greatly restricts the social life. My youngest is 13 months old, since he was born, I've spent a total of maybe 12 hours with Bandit without having the baby in tow. 

On the topic of teenage pregnancy, these are all things kids are going to miss out on.... hense the reason I'd recommend they enjoy themselves now and not rush into greater responsibility. They have all the time in the world to enjoy whats infront of them, to roll out of bed at 10 or 11 on the weekend and feel like being lazy for the day. My 13 month old alarm clock goes off between 5 - 6 without fail and doesn't switch off on weekends :lol:


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## westerncowgurl (Jul 14, 2010)

VT Trail Trotters said:


> Thats crazy! And your to "old" to have a baby makes no sense now... your only 17 and here if your 17 and have a child your pretty young to have one. Normally people have kids in their mid 20s!


ya its just a joke everyone says because most girls here get pregnant at like 15 or younger, so when you turn 16 they say your to old now to get pregnant.


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## srh1 (Jun 3, 2012)

LegendsChic said:


> Well I got pregnant when I was 17 in grade eleven. My parents were being parents, they were actually FANTASTIC parents, and we went to church every Sunday, my mom was a TA at the local Christian school, and both upstanding members of the church. It was me who decided to have unprotected sex and therefore resulting in the best mistake of my life.
> QUOTE]
> 
> It's not that kids don't get pregnant when they have great parents. But parents in general can do a lot more than most do to give their kids the best tools to make the best decisions they can.
> ...


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

Parenting last a lifetime and if a child is not taught to be responsible at a young age they will not be as teenagers.
All actions have consequences.
Far too many parents are more concerned with not offending or upsetting their children than they are at disciplining them.
Teenagesrs raising children for the most part do not have the maturity to make the right decisions.
Educating them about all aspects of sex is important at an appopriate age.
That age though is getting younger and younger.
Media, the internet, and Television bombard our children with sex and violence at levels never before seen.
To refute that they have no influence or how strong that influece is harmful to the solution.
Where are the boys?
Out repeating the offense with very little oversight nd very few responsiblities to prevent a re occurrecnce. Shalom


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## VT Trail Trotters (Jul 21, 2011)

westerncowgurl said:


> ya its just a joke everyone says because most girls here get pregnant at like 15 or younger, so when you turn 16 they say your to old now to get pregnant.


Pregnant at 16 is bad and the younger you go the worse it is... like a pregnant 13 year old... just no.


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## Lakotababii (Nov 28, 2010)

dbarabians said:


> Parenting last a lifetime and if a child is not taught to be responsible at a young age they will not be as teenagers.
> All actions have consequences.
> Far too many parents are more concerned with not offending or upsetting their children than they are at disciplining them.
> Teenagesrs raising children for the most part do not have the maturity to make the right decisions.
> ...


I have a sister that had a baby at 16. Father was a dud. 

My sister is **** lucky, she had a supportive family that helped her raise that kid. She got her GED and CNA with the help of my parents. She was allowed to stay with them, they paid for her child's needs. My parents funded that child and made sure she was well taken care of. My sister stepped up and worked her tail off to get through her education and be a fantastic mother at the same time. She is now married and has 2 more kids.

My point being, not all teenage mothers are bad mothers. We had a somewhat unique situation, where we all chipped in to help raise the child. We understand that she may have some issues when she is older, especially when it comes to her biological father. However, my sister is adamant that she will do her best to teach her children the best ways to prevent making the same mistake she did. 

To comment on the media, yes I do believe children are bombarded with it. But then again I cannot tell you how many children I have seen walking around in mini skirts, belly shirts, and high heels with makeup coated on their faces... at 9 or 10 years old. What message are we sending our girls when we allow them to do things like that? The media does portray sex in a strong way, but more than that, they portray women as men's play toys, and our girls pick up on that. 

I have friends that STILL cannot find their "worth" without a man. Why is that? It's a BIG issue, and I think it does relate to teen pregnancy. If you don't have a man, you are seen as a weirdo, especially in high school. Self esteem of these girls is low. They just can't seem to understand that they are beautiful without some random guy telling them that. 

Personally, I don't think teenagers need to be dating at all, at least until 16. Sex? Out of the question. I have never met someone who was happy with their decision to have sex at 13 or 14. Most of them regret it. There is no reason not to wait. Dating, in my opinion, is a precursor to marriage. You date to figure out who you want to be with for life. At 14, you don't need to even be thinking about that, so why date. You have at least 4 years until you can even think about marriage or long term commitment, so what is the point? I've heard people argue for "social issues" but that's what friends are for. 

The media does have influence, but so do those people who let their kids dress the way they do, and date when they are 12. That includes both genders. 

I also, just for conversation, would like to bring up that it is interesting that our teen pregnancy rate and std rate is at an all time high... and yet these kids have more education available to them through birth control, sex education, abortions, etc. than ever before. Why is that?


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## Jore (Dec 4, 2010)

I haven't gone through this whole thread.. but I do agree with a lot of what's said. My mom got pregnant at sixteen, despite having good parents. According to herself, and all her relatives, she was one of those girls who did a lot of partying and had a lot of boyfriends. However, she took the adoption route because she wanted to give him a better life.. which makes sense, as I know most girls around here who get pregnant, are already in less than middle class families who can't afford a baby so that baby is, unfortunately, not going to have any easy life. Although there are the cases where the family is willing and able to help.

My mom still says it was the hardest thing she's ever done. At one point, I had an appointment with my doctor, who has been my mom's doctor ever since she was younger actually told me about my mom putting him up for adoption. I had no idea before then, but the doctor told me how hard my mom took it. So, needless to say, my mom did put my sister and I on birth control, even though she didn't want us to be having sex.. just because she knew that in the end, she wouldn't have control over our actions.

ETA: I also agree with the bottom parts of what Lakotababii said. I know people who were out losing their virginity in grade seven... but then again, my county apparently has the highest std rate in the province. I think part of the blame does go to parents, in certain cases.. because I do know a few girls who were allowed to grow up too soon. By saying that, I mean their parents let them go out and party, sleep over at boyfriend's houses, etc.


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

Lakota, I hope my post did not presume that ALL teen mothers are not good mothers.
Your sister was lucky and had support of her whole family.
Her child was vey lucky indeed.
Some families are not that supportive or are able to do so.
Soceity as a whole is to blame mass media , and those of us who buy it are adding to the problem.
Young girls wearing makeup and adult clothes is all to common.
It is not cute when you look at the consequences that might arise.
The message that is being sent to our young people is that sex is cool sex is what mature smart people do and its acceptable.
Jersey Shore and numerous other reality shows promote this.
Parents need to be adaptable and smart in guiding their chikdren to adulthood.
Peer pressure is very strong and powerful influence on todays youth.
Shalom


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## EvilHorseOfDoom (Jun 17, 2012)

Very much agree about dating, Lakota! I had plenty of male friends as a teen but they were 'mates', not 'dates'. I played football with them, joked with them etc and they didn't see me as anything more than another one of them. I didn't end up getting a boyfriend til I was 18 (I would have before that if I'd actually found anyone that I saw as someone I'd be interested in being with long-term). It was long distance so I ended up staying a virgin til I was 20. I neither regret the lateness, or losing it - it was the right time, the right guy (I'm with him now) and it was a wonderful experience (and we used double protection, so practically no chance of an 'accident'). Unfortunately I know some girls (of all ages) who just drift from one meaningless encounter to another, most of them not sure why they're doing it or what they get out of it - and equally I know those who "save themselves" for after marriage to Mr Right, when their view of Mr Right is unrealistic and seems to be missing a key component (i.e. love) so they end up dating these guys who tick the "rich, well-connected and handsome" boxes, getting engaged to them and then realising they're total tossers (not that all rich, well-connected and handsome guys are, but they're not supposed to be the main characteristics you look for in a life partner!).


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## Cinder (Feb 20, 2011)

U.S. teen pregnancy rates at an all-time low across all ethnicities - HealthPop - CBS News

U.S. Teen Pregnancy Rate Continues to Fall: MedlinePlus

U.S. teen birth rate drops to a record low – - CNN.com Blogs

Teen pregnancy rates reach 'dramatic' 40-year low in U.S. | Fox News

U.S. Teen Birth Rates Decrease Over Last 20 Years | MyHealthNewsDaily.com

Teen Pregnancy Rates Hit All-Time Low in the U.S. | News | BET

Just from a quick Google search- and I'll admit I didn't really read the reports thoroughly, but I did look over them- it seems that teen pregnancy rates have actually decreased. 

Personally, I think it's important for teens to be educated about sex. They're going to eventually have it, so you can either tell them or someone else, possibly less trust-worthy, will. Near where I live we have pretty good sex education programs, safe sex is covered and so are the potential dangers of sex such as STDs. I don't believe anyone in my year has gotten pregnant thus far, though there is some promiscuity among the "popular" crowd, but you'll see that anywhere, and it's not rampant or anything. 

Whether or not a girl does or does not wear makeup, and the kind of clothes she wears, has nothing to do with how much sex she is or is not having. It has to do with her own morals, and the way she was raised. 

I also wonder why _so_ much emphasis is put on teen girls, as if it only her fault and not the joint responsibility of the girl AND the boy. Some responsibility should also be put on the male to wear a condom and have sex safely, not just the girl. This idea that "boys will be boys" and can't help it or whatever has also got to stop. Girls _also_ have hormones, you know. A girl just can't get herself pregnant, as far as I know. 

Those are just my two cents, as I'm a teen myself.


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

The burden of preventing pregnancy has always rested squarely on the shoulders of women. This unduly places the blame and lack of morality on women and young girls. In this regard men and boys get off scott free.
Any male that is not using a condom to not only prevent pregnancy but STDs as well is not responsible in the first place.
This is a reflection on our soceity and underlines the sexism that drives it.
Shalom


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## BubblesBlue (Jun 29, 2010)

16, never had a boyfriend, and hasn't had her first kiss yet.

Horses do that to ya. :lol:

Thankfully there has been no teen pregnancies in my school yet. Although I had a friend who claimed she was pregnant than had a stillborn. Of course I'm pretty sure she was lying since she tended to do that... We're not friends anymore.

ETA: OOps, I forgot to add it in. It all depends on the kid's choices on whether or not this happens. Yes, the parents may indirectly cause it, but it falls down to the kid's responsibility. Pregnancy is a sick way of paying for making them pay for their choices.


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

Bubblesblue the person that pays the full price for the prenancy of a teen mother is not her parents. Its her child that will suffer the full consequences. Shalom


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## BubblesBlue (Jun 29, 2010)

I think the mother and the child suffer the most. However the child sometimes has to pay with their life...


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## Lakotababii (Nov 28, 2010)

Cinder said:


> U.S. teen pregnancy rates at an all-time low across all ethnicities - HealthPop - CBS News
> 
> U.S. Teen Pregnancy Rate Continues to Fall: MedlinePlus
> 
> ...



Very interesting indeed. Good to see it is going down! 

I was not trying to suggest that wearing makeup makes you more promiscuous. You are right in saying that it is a choice to have sex. However, sexualization of young woman at an early age, and encouraging that sort of behavior is not helping anyone, especially when they are so young...

It is ultimately up to the girl/woman of course. But teaching them early on that what matters is what looks good to men, instead of being happy with who you are, is wrong. There is no reason for a girl to be walking around dressed scandalously and caked with makeup when they can't even drive yet. What message does that send not only to the girl herself, but to others around her (including girls and boys)? I don't understand why parents let their daughters dress like that, or worse yet, think it's "cute."


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## Cinder (Feb 20, 2011)

> I was not trying to suggest that wearing makeup makes you more promiscuous. You are right in saying that it is a choice to have sex. However, sexualization of young woman at an early age, and encouraging that sort of behavior is not helping anyone, especially when they are so young...
> 
> It is ultimately up to the girl/woman of course. But teaching them early on that what matters is what looks good to men, instead of being happy with who you are, is wrong. There is no reason for a girl to be walking around dressed scandalously and caked with makeup when they can't even drive yet. What message does that send not only to the girl herself, but to others around her (including girls and boys)? I don't understand why parents let their daughters dress like that, or worse yet, think it's "cute."


I totally agree with that!


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## barrelbeginner (Jan 31, 2012)

most of my brothers and sisters have kids and they started to have kids when they were around 15/16. like the babies were born when they were 15. I don't think that I would want to take that risk because I can see how it really affected the way that they live there life. They can't just go hang out with friends because they had to take care of their children... They got in fights alot with the boys because they just weren't ready for that kind of life yet. They didn't have time to grow up themselves.. 

I want to be able to go places, rodeos, concerts, prom, hangout. stuff like that. Not worry about when I will eat next. live from pay check to paycheck. I want to make sure I have PLENTY of money in the bank before even thinking about having a child. and Im only 15. I admit. I have had a boyfriend, Yes I've made mistakes and lucky none to change my life. 

and im deciding to turn that around BEFORE something lifechanging DOES happen...


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

As a mental health professional what Cinder has said is true.
Some of the most powerful messages are not verbal.
What we do is sometimes more powerful than what we say. Shalom


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## barrelbeginner (Jan 31, 2012)

Lakotababii said:


> It is ultimately up to the girl/woman of course. But teaching them early on that what matters is what looks good to men, instead of being happy with who you are, is wrong. There is no reason for a girl to be walking around dressed scandalously and caked with makeup when they can't even drive yet. What message does that send not only to the girl herself, but to others around her (including girls and boys)? I don't understand why parents let their daughters dress like that, or worse yet, think it's "cute."



For some reason this just gets to me.. Why can't parent's teach boys what is acceptable, why does it have to fall on the girls all the time? It takes 2 to tango.. I agree, that girls shouldn't dress as if they are wearing nothing, but if parents taught boys that they need to respect and what not, I doubt girls would feel the need to dress that way anyhow.. IMO


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

Barrelbeginner we live in a male dominated soceity.
Male sexuality is celebrated and encouraged and boys don't get pregnant.
without restraints placed on their behaviour guilt is not placed on them. Shalom


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## Lakotababii (Nov 28, 2010)

barrelbeginner said:


> For some reason this just gets to me.. Why can't parent's teach boys what is acceptable, why does it have to fall on the girls all the time? It takes 2 to tango.. I agree, that girls shouldn't dress as if they are wearing nothing, but if parents taught boys that they need to respect and what not, I doubt girls would feel the need to dress that way anyhow.. IMO



Oh I agree with you. I am not saying that the responsibility lies solely on the girls, I was just addressing a previous comment that was posted. 

Involved parenting, no matter what sex your child is, is extremely important. Teaching a male that women are not objects and need to be treated with respect is just as important as teaching the female that she herself is not an object. 

I didn't mean for it to come across as solely the females responsibility. Men need to have the correct attitude as well.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Db- I think it's unfair to blame the media. Parents should be monitoring what their children watch and installing good values and good sense so that they don't see ****s on Jersey Shore or whatever other show (male and female) and think that's the bee's knees. If you have cable, you have parent controls to block the trash. And before someone says it, yes a kid can go to someone else's house to watch tv. Again it falls to the parents to step in and work with other parents or limit the activities the kids do outside of supervision.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

When children are young, you narrow down the media that they have access to seeing, and you build in them the understanding of what is "bad" and what is "good". As they become older, the parent, knowing that they can never control fully wht the child will be exposed to, allows them greater and greater access to the boatload of crap that is out there. I dont' mean you put it on their plate, but you dont' say "No" when they ask to see a violent movie, or one with cuss words. If you have actually educated your child, they will be able to see that stuff and know it for what it is. Crap. (I am thinking of the above example of Jersey Shore). Or, better yet, once they have seen it a few times, they will lose interest.

If the parent disallows teens to see any of the media that they know is bad, then the teen will only want to see it more. forbidden fruit looks much tastier than it really is.


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

Dancing I am not placing the blame squarely on the media.
The parents and their way of raising their children has far more of an impact.
However in a soceity that glamorizes people like those on the jersey shore and rewards them with celebrity and financial success we are sending a clear picture. Sex sells and will make you popular and successful.
We must look at the whole picture to establish the cause and find a solution.
You might have some success at coun troling a childs whereabouts. but never their thoughts. Shalom


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## Faceman (Nov 29, 2007)

DancingArabian said:


> Db- I think it's unfair to blame the media.


I agree, but they are bombarded with it nonetheless, although I don't place the blame directly on the media. TV networks are profit making businesses - thus they provide what the people want to watch. Television is very responsive to the public - if the ratings are down, shows get canceled. So the trash is there because the public likes trash, pure and simple. It is no different than drugs...if people didn't want/use them, there would be no drug dealers. We have nobody to blame but ourselves.

Permissiveness begets worse permissiveness begets even worse permissiveness. We conservatives get chastized regularly by liberals for our conservative values, but all it takes is a look at society today to see why we are the way we are. I wish we could go back to the time when children could be children and weren't constantly confronted by sex, drugs, and crime. At 16 I thought it was exciting to hold hands with a girl, had no idea what pot was, and followed the rules of society. How bored today's kids would be with that, but they would be so much better off...


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