# My horse has no respect and does not like me



## Amandaa (Apr 23, 2012)

So ive only had my horse named Indy for a little over three months and she does not like me.
She is only 5 years old and only greenbroke. She was a total spoiled brat before i got her and prettymuch owned her owner! She bucked her old owner off all the time and didnt have to do anything she didnt want to. She also just got loved on and given treats all the time and didnt get worked. When i got her i rode her ALOT and have gotten alll the bucking stopped. She listens like an angel when im walking or riding her now but if not she HATES me! When she is tied up and i stomp on the ground with my foot she puts her ears back at me. Also if i push on her side to move her over she kinda freaks out and gets really mad... ive been doing alot of ground work with her and she lets me touch her wherever i want though. She is kind of just a bratty mare that doesnt like being told what to do i guess... A few days ago i was riding my other horse in my 5 acre field which i keep both of my horses in and Indy got very angry... i got off of my gelding for a minute and she was running all around us and acting like she was going to charge me! Then i kinda jumped towards her and yelled to shoo her off and she came towards me with her ears back like she was going to attack! Its not a big deal to me but i would just really like it if my horse loved me, i want that cute bond of a relationship with my horse like alot of people have, any idea's? Thank you!


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## oh vair oh (Mar 27, 2012)

Horses don't love. They only respect and trust, which humans mistake for love. As you can see by her previous owner's mistakes ("She also just got loved on and given treats all the time and didnt get worked"), giving your horse purely human affection does not mean the horse will love you. And even when you don't, you have to realize horses have different personality types. Some are lazy, some are negative, some are positive, some are gentle. To get your horse's personality type to respect and trust you, things are going to get uglier before things get better. If she's gonna be a tough horse, she can deal with a tougher leader. If she pins her ears at something you do, make her move her butt. If she charges you, take whatever you have at hand and make her feel like she's gonna die. Once you have your "come to Jesus" meetings, she will gradually be more open to doing what you say. HOWEVER, if this is her personality, you will more often than not have to deal and correct her "tests" every single day. My gelding was a brute, and I would have to bop and whip him every other day for 6 years before he chilled out, and he _still_ pushes the limit. But you know what? I've come to love him for it. I worked with him as much as I can, his tests come naturally to me, and I let him get away with stuff that's unimportant to me - because that's who he is. And I have to also respect who he is just as much as he has to respect who I am. And in return, we had a great amount of trust. 

So in short, you got to keep being vigilant and give it time. Otherwise, if the personality types don't match up, you should honestly consider finding a horse who has a more open personality. This is why it takes a long time to purchase a horse because not only are you looking for conformation, but you are looking for a partner who matches what you are looking for in a personality. You knew from the get-go that this horse was spoiled and dominant, so you have to deal with it.


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## SorrelHorse (Apr 9, 2009)

Watch everybody roll their eyes when I say this:

Try Clinton Anderson's respect groundwork. Believe me it works. Don't become a blind follower but it really does get results.


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## Amandaa (Apr 23, 2012)

I see, i see. Thank you very much for the advice, i will keep working with her and not give up!


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## oh vair oh (Mar 27, 2012)

I love Clinton Anderson's groundwork. And the 7 games from Parelli, all of that will help.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I think Oh vair oh's advice is good. Horse's dont' think about people. They only FEEL and react. The mare FELT possessive of the gelding you were on, and she was going to defend her 'mate". YOu dont' matter, only the feeling matters.

When you touvch her side, to move her over, if she's in heat, her ovaries willbe tender, so she'll FEEL pain. That will cause her to react agreesively.

If you charge her, she will FEEL threatened and so will fight back or run away, depending on whether she FEELs that you have the right to challange her. If she feels that you are dominant, then she will never quiestion your charging her, but will turn tail and run. If you feel to her like a subordinate horse, who is suddenly stepping out of line and charging a superior (herself), she will fight back to put you in your place. 

You have to make her FEEL that you are the dominant horse. So, the help of the trainers may be valuable here. But my point in this long post is not so much that but to emphasize that your horse doesn't really think about you, so cannot hate you. She is all about self preservation, and currently, you just stand in her way. Turn it around so that she knows that she must stay out of your way, in order for self preservation.


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## Amandaa (Apr 23, 2012)

I love Clinton Anderson and many people have told me good things about him so i will deffinitely learn his ways, thank you! And tinyliny, what do you suggest i do to show her my dominance over her?


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## Palomine (Oct 30, 2010)

Your horse has no respect for you. She doesn't hate you, she thinks you are an inferior being who needs dominating.

When you are "asking" her to move over? You need to be TELLING her, and not taking any guff for it.

CA, PP, or the Man in the Moon methods? Doesn't matter who you model after, provided you get the respect that you need from any horse.

I am assuming you are young? And new to horses too. Do you have a little brother, or irritating cousin? That is the attitude you need here. That this horse is that person, and you will not tolerate them messing with your stuff, as it were.

You need to make sure your body language is not telegraphing "I am a loser" but instead is confident and full of energy.

When she pins her ears at you, or displays annoyance, you need to correct her hard then. Keep your senses alert for her displays of temper, and toughen your voice up and "growl" at her, take her halter cheekpiece and give it a slight shake, and tell her to "knock it off."

Continuing to let her display traits that show she is your boss, will lead to worse behavior.

You also need to be aware of your stance when feeding her, if she is getting grained/hayed in paddock or pasture. MAKE her move away from food, and if she pins ears/bucks/shakes head, make her move far away, and don't let her come back in until you decide she can. Take a long branch with leaves/smaller branches and shake it low, do not swat at her, or hit her. Keep her eyes focused on the swishing branch, and make her back off from it, or move away from it.

No yelling, or even talking other than a firm BACK, and move towards her. Once you have gotten her past the "I am your BOSS" to "Oops, she is MY boss", and you can tell that, or should be able to, by her eyes/ears/general demeanor, then and only then can you let her approach feed. Walk toward feed, let her follow at a far distance. Every so often, turn and make her back away.

And if you are messing or working with her without having her haltered and on lead rope? Quit it. That type of thing makes a horse think it is calling the shots. Without a lead on horse? It is moving when it wants to rather than when you want to, and every time horses moves away from you, or pulls away from you when not haltered? That reinforces in the horse's mind that it is the leader, not you.

With some horses, this would never be an issue, but with tougher minded horses, or ones more inclined to be a witch on wheels? That will lead to problems too.


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

You have gotten good advice.

I work with a mare that does not have a friendly personality. But, when she and I go to do something, I know I can count on her. We have a respectful business type relationship and she is a favorite of mine.

I'm pretty sure she would be a pill, if I didn't mind my manners around her.


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## themacpack (Jul 16, 2009)

SorrelHorse said:


> Watch everybody roll their eyes when I say this:
> 
> Try Clinton Anderson's respect groundwork. Believe me it works. Don't become a blind follower but it really does get results.


No eyerolling here - his lunging for respect and groundwork exercises are fabulous. I just don't care for the schtick (but I feel that way about a of the training "personalities" out there, not just CA - he's one of my least disliked, lol)


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## Joe4d (Sep 1, 2011)

tinyliny said:


> I think Oh vair oh's advice is good. Horse's dont' think about people. They only FEEL and react. The mare FELT possessive of the gelding you were on, and she was going to defend her 'mate". YOu dont' matter, only the feeling matters.
> 
> When you touvch her side, to move her over, if she's in heat, her ovaries willbe tender, so she'll FEEL pain. That will cause her to react agreesively.
> 
> ...


Help of a trainer ? Id say the help of a 2 X 4. 
Pinning ears and charging at you can get you killed as in D-E-A-D dead. nip in in the bud right now. 
biggest thing in a horses mind about pecking order is controlling rescources. Try this for a week. When you feed or hay her go in her area and put feed in the bowl, with a crop about 3 foot in your hand. Put food in her bowl and stand there with your back to her, but watching, stir food around with your weak hand, if she get s within 3 foot of you Yell NOOOOOOOOOOO or BACKKKKKKK or KALAMAZOO, or what ever and smack her hard in the chest. look back at the food and repeat until she stands her ground, then simply walk away. Dont call her, dont motion dotn nothing. just walk away like you are done eating. Its a very good way to establish dominance. You have the food they have to wait. Its soemthing their brain understands immediately. DO that all the time until she is submissive.


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## Amandaa (Apr 23, 2012)

Palomine, i actually have 10 years of horse experience and i am indeed very demanding of her, i never do anything with her just asking, i always force her to do what i want and she is still a huge brat about it. I walk her around my house and she knows that when i stop she has to stop directly at my side and she does it wonderfully. With the whole food thing, i deffinetely will do that, she is kinda crazy when it comes to her food. I think the reason she gets mad when i push on her to move her over is just because she doesnt like to do it. When she pins her ears at me i usually yell at her and smack her in the neck. I do not work with her without the halter and lead rope on her, i was just shooing her away the time she wanted to charge me.


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## Amandaa (Apr 23, 2012)

Joe4d, thank you very much, i will do that!


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## Joe4d (Sep 1, 2011)

thats a julie goodnight thing. One of her videos shows the horses in a pasture running up to food bowl. Alpha horse pins its ears, turns its butt to other horses and eats first. Others stay bout 3 foot away. Any get close they lead horse squeals and either kicks at or nips at em. You are just mimmicking that behavior. I never "Give" newer or problem horses food. With the above technique I am letting them eat my leftovers.


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## Beling (Nov 3, 2009)

Amandaa said:


> Palomine, i actually have 10 years of horse experience and i am indeed very demanding of her, i never do anything with her just asking, i always force her to do what i want and she is still a huge brat about it. I walk her around my house and she knows that when i stop she has to stop directly at my side and she does it wonderfully. With the whole food thing, i deffinetely will do that, she is kinda crazy when it comes to her food. I think the reason she gets mad when i push on her to move her over is just because she doesnt like to do it. When she pins her ears at me i usually yell at her and smack her in the neck. I do not work with her without the halter and lead rope on her, i was just shooing her away the time she wanted to charge me.


All that smacking and yelling, and yet you can get good behavior. . . what I'm thinking is that there's some inconsistancies in your handling. I think you're probably quite good with your mare, as far as surviving with her, but I suggest you try to _understand_ her a little more. You say you always "force her to do" what you want. Well, it's actually very difficult to force a horse to do anything. So what is really happening? Why? Keep asking questions, and give your horse credit for having her own intelligence.

I suggest you watch yourself too, and try to be as consistent as you can in everything you do around her. I've seen many horses who've become close to their ignorant, even harsh owners, simply because they were consistent in what they did; good or bad. Trust is very important to horses, but it doesn't mean quite the same as it does to humans.


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## Cherie (Dec 16, 2010)

Anyone that calls a disrespectful horse a 'brat' has never gotten any horse's real respect. You have been so worried that you want this horse to 'love' you, that you have never gotten any real respect established -- and won't until you worry more about who is in charge than how much she loves you.

I think you are only 'pecking' at her and making her mad and less respectful. If you have to 'get after' a horse more than 2 or 3 times --- ever --- for respect, you have failed in your methods and have not been 'effective'. 

If you get total and complete respect established, your horse will like you a lot better. She may not have an 'in your pocket' disposition, but she will still like you much better. A horse holds those under them in the pecking order in complete disdain when they try to make that animal move. 

With lack of respect comes loathing everything you ask of them.

With complete respect comes the right attitude. "Yes Mam! "Anything you say, Mam." "What else would you like me to do, Mam?" When you gain the demeanor of a 'leader', you will gain the respect due to a leader. Horses like that and know they can trust your judgement and like to interact with you -- maybe not 'love' you, but they will like being in your presence and will like your leadership role. It is the difference between being ineffective and effective in your interactions and training.


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

I understand what you are trying to do re. the smacking neck but I really don't think that helps. I mean to a horse that doesn't mean much I don't think. When horses are playing they might playfully nip at each, but if they're angry they make the other horse move and move fast. Smacking a neck kinda means nothing. It's probably just going to make the horse confused and annoyed.

When she misbehaves I'd send her away from you, and not just one step, make her back up three or four, make her get away from you quickly and don't let her come closer until she seems to "yield". Do whatever you need to do but force her out of your space.


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