# How did you move out while owning horses?



## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

This is going to sound tough...but....


There is an awful time in life where you have to weigh up priorities. Horses were my world, I bought Dubai as a three year old with the thoughts he'd be with me for his entire life. A year later we were posted to a very expensive part of Germany, and I couldn't afford it. Coupled with realizing I'd have to leave my job here due to lack of entitlement in a couple of years, and knowing I wouldn't have the time or finances In The UK once I started on a career path, I sold him.


It broke me, and two years on I still get upset. I have no interest in riding other horses either.

However, I had to put my big girl pants on and look to my future. You can't live at home forever.

And if you work another job, will you get time for them?

I know it's probably not what you wanted to hear, but if was your age and needed to make the bad decision, and I'm glad I did. It worked perfectly as he is with my trainer and I can see him when I'm in the area... It did hurt, but I realised I couldn't have everything in life.


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

HeroMyOttb said:


> How has others kept their horses while moving out on their on?
> 
> With my bills between my 3 horses, student loans and additional bills I do not see it's feasible for me to move out. My boyfriend wants us to get our own place. But I can not afford an additional cost for rent, electric, water, internet, cable, etc.
> 
> ...


why would you have 3 horses.
That's excessive.
I moved out at 15
Boarded my horse. Worked part time at the stable, went to high school and worked evenings.
When I got out of high school I worked more and many times had 2 jobs.
I don't think it is realistic to have 3 horses that I doubt if you do much with because of time. Why can't the horses stay at your parents?


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## Cordillera Cowboy (Jun 6, 2014)

Simple. I shipped out to basic training, the horses stayed with my parents. My Dad sold them off gradually as my siblings grew up and left home. I was never consulted and didn't expect to be. Simple economics, and I've never regretted it. That childhood spent with those horses launched me into a life of wonder and adventure. There are thousands of other horses out there. Get your feet on the ground financially, then go ride some more of them.


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## Remali (Jul 22, 2008)

It's not always easy, but I found a less expensive place to board at. Not always do-able though. Maybe you could keep two of your horses with your parents, and board the other horse closer to where you move? It's not that awful to not spend a whole lot of time with them (although you may miss them), for awhile, while you have to focus on other things for the time being. I did that, while I was going to college and also while I cared for my mother when she was ill, I still got out to visit my horse when I was able to, my horse got a break and she was no worse for it, it beats selling your horse (at least it did in my case).

Actually, quite a few people in their 20's are opting to live at home longer, sure is nothing wrong with that (I did), I know quite a few people who lived with their parents for quite some time -- it worked out nicely, and the parents liked the extra help, too.


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## HeroMyOttb (Dec 28, 2009)

Thanks guys! Just wanted to hear some advice on others that live on their own and had horses!

I actually still find time to ride them atleast 3 times a week and feed, groom, ground work. Etc.

They can't stay at my parents because I lease a 5 acre property with a barn for them.

I figured people will tell me to sell them. Just was wondering if anyone made it while still owning horses.

Looks as if not.

Not what I want to hear but it's reality.

I'll just have to figure something out!


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## HeroMyOttb (Dec 28, 2009)

I did go to college away as well, and only saw them a weekend a month. And sent my parents money to pay for them while I worked. 

I'll just have to see where it goes.


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## Remali (Jul 22, 2008)

Or, if you could find a very reliable trainer/instructor...someone you trusted.... and leased them for awhile (for lessons), sort of like a partial lease. If that would help? But, leases are not always ideal, either.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Unfortunately, this is something that everyone should consider before buying horses... especially multiple horses. Either that or be willing to sell the horse(s) if finances don't allow for you to keep them all. 

Three horses are a lot of horses for someone just getting on their feet. Remember that many people out there can't afford to care for one horse. I'm not trying to make you feel bad or guilty, but cutting back may in your best interests. There are a number of options to help relieve the costs, but they can only help so much. Stuff like moving to a cheaper barn, leasing out one or multiple horses for awhile, working off board if your barn will work with you, etc. And, of course, the usual money saving techniques... don't do frivolous clothes shopping, watch how much money you spend eating out, stuff like that. But, no way could little things like that make the difference between me being able to have another horse and not. Just something worth mentioning. Staying with your parents can definitely help in the short term, but how long will you plan on staying with them? Do you see your financial situation changing in the foreseeable future to allow for caring for three horses AND an independent lifestyle? Selling one or two (or even all three maybe) doesn't mean that you're getting out of horses or anything. It's just not something everyone can afford at all stages in life. 

I don't mean it to sound like I'm picking on you, but sometimes finances can be pretty black and white. Either you can afford to pay for multiple horses AND living on your own or you can't. You need to sit down and think about what you really want and need. Many of us (myself included) WANT more horses, but it's just not gonna happen right now. Some people will do whatever is possible to keep all of their horses even to the point where it's not in your best interests. Factor out how much it would cost per month to move out, factor how much you're currently spending on horse expenses per month (total for all three and per horse). Make sure you keep an appropriate emergency fund available for the horses, hopefully you already have one that you won't touch. Compare the money you're making now to the costs you're spending right now (on horses and various expenses you're already paying), compare it to your current expenses AND move out costs, and compare it with the moved out costs + current expenses - horses. If the numbers for moving out + current/horse expenses don't work then it won't work. Perhaps if you run the numbers with only one or two horses then it will. Maybe not, I don't know your situation. Growing up is stressful :-|


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## Aimz (Jul 16, 2013)

It's possible but you must be very honest and realistic with yourself 

Really look at the available options, and where you want to be this time next year, and in five years maybe longer. How do your horses fit in?

I also suggest you have a very honest discussion with your boyfriend on how much horses really cost you and how much you have left over for living costs, and his financial position. Also consider where the relationship is going, make sure you both want the same things.

I moved out at 22 and shared with a friend fairly well at the start. Long story short Things didn't work out well at all and I ended up living alone, with a big living costs, I need to work extra shift to pay the bills. I was left with zero time, not so great health (poor diet, stress, lack of sleep etc) and a fat disobedient mare. I struggled for a few years, budgeted very tightly, sacrificed lots of things (cable, takeaway, new clothing) to save a dollar, it was really tough sometimes, I almost gave up multiple times.

However I'm tougher, wiser and I'm a good position now (8 years on) and still have that mare.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

I didn't have to pay for my own horses until after I graduated and got a job. At which time I just had them shipped to me. This option is available to you, I am sure (i.e., move to a job that pays well enough to afford your and your horses' board). Otherwise, why in the heck would you want to move out?


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## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

HeroMyOttb said:


> I did go to college away as well, and only saw them a weekend a month. And sent my parents money to pay for them while I worked.
> 
> I'll just have to see where it goes.


 
Would it be possible to downsize your herd, or lease out until you find your feet?

There are always options, but I was thinking much more long term. Moving out and moving countries.. bigger leap.
I could have, if I wanted to, kept him. However I would have been financially ruined, and in the same position now of trying to find him a new home. It worked for me then, because my trainer took him so I knew he had the best home for life.

Unless you're competing at a high level, or making money from training etc etc... don't stop your future for an animal. If you can't make it work, you'll have to plan B... but you can't live at home forever because you have three horses. I wish I could, but I think I'd drive my parents crazy


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## budley95 (Aug 15, 2014)

I moved out at 20 with my other half and kept my horse on DIY. Bud probably costs me about £300 a month, my OH pays about £90 a month towards him. But I pay all the monthly bills, including rent, our car insurance, our finance on the car (we share one), gas, electric and water. My OH gets paid weekly so he pays weekly bills, ie all the food shopping and petrol. No way could I have moved out without moving out with him. But we'd been together 3 years, had been together since school and I practically lived with him and his parents anyway when we decided we wanted a place of our own. It can be done if you budget and are smart with your money. OH and I hardly ever go out, but that's because he's also doing an open university course so we have to save about £3,000 a year to pay for that. Only 17 months left of that though, and then we'll start saving to buy instead of rent!


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

Growing up is hard.

And that is what this is. Staying at parents is easy and safe. You can save or spend, travel etc and not have to worry about "real life". It gets to a point you have to decide what you want to do.

It is possible to move out with a horse. I kept my horse somewhere cheap, very minimal style self care. I had cheap housing.

Three horses...well thats a lot. Many working young adults would not be able to keep three horses. I work virtually full time and I certainly couldn't. Not with all thebcosts of being independent.

I'm not telling you to sell, just to decide where you are in life and the direction you want to go.

Moving out is hard - but at 17 it was one of the defining choices in my life. Its good to learn to be strong and independent on your own, but it can take sacrifices.

Many parents charge their working children rent and board costs, as its a fair arrangement to start contributing once working. Maybe you can start doing that and ease into adulthood, plus it would be helping your parents out!


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

You're not talking about moving out on your own anyway. If you were, it would be up to you whether you wanted to work three jobs just to keep ownership of the horses. Or, it would be no big deal if you could only ride in the middle of the night.

You're not even thinking of going in to a roommate situation where what you do and when you do it is your own business. 

No. Likely the guy who wants to split rent and bills with you, also has expectations of you devoting time and attention to him. Adds a whole 'nother level of complexity to things. 

Unless the 'gentleman' is willing to consider the upkeep of horses as part of the collective budget and pay for half. : )


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## Red Gate Farm (Aug 28, 2011)

Well, I didn't move out (still a minor) but when we moved off the farm and back into town I was told my horse had been sold and was gone. So that was it, parents legally owned the horse and legally sold the horse and we moved back into town.

Was I upset? Yes, over losing my horse but NOT at my parents. They only did what they had to. I compensated by biking to the local rent a nag on Saturdays.

Ten years later, when I was an adult and had my own place and money, THEN I bought another horse.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Before my accident, I was independent, in college, and paying for a horse. It's definitely possible.


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## karliejaye (Nov 19, 2011)

I got to bring my horse with me when I moved out and went to college. I found a small, inexpensive boarding barn close to campus and I got 2 on campus jobs on top of 19 credit hours. It was brutal and hard and required LONG nights to get homework and papers done. 
Sadly, that lasted only 1 month, then my dear Hank had to be euthanized due to a medical emergency. I am really not sure if he had lived that I would have been able to handle all the bills and the time commitments at that stage of life.

I did not get another horse, but instead joined the polo team to get my horse fix. It was about 3 years post college I was able to get a horse of my own again, and only because I was fortunate to get a good career before I even graduated.


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## Corporal (Jul 29, 2010)

Keep one horse, sell the other two, get a real job and move out OR pay an appropriate monthly rent to your parents.
I get to hear about my youngest daughter's law school "associates"--only two REAL friends-- who grew up, passed the Bar the 1st time and are all three gainfully employed. Some in her class are in their 30's. Here are some who planned on their own failures.
One passed the Bar the 2nd time, in another state, has been planning a wedding next month (with the family's money paying for it) to a man/boy who NOW has custody of his 5yo, works part time and has been living in his parent's basement. If she practices in TN, where she took the bar, and they both move in, he will lose custody of his son. She could have taken it in IL.
Another associate also passed the bar 2nd time, but left the test to spend a year studying in Ireland. What the fudge kind of logic is this, and who will want to hire her with this on her resume?!?!?!?
My DD will be 27yo next month, has a work resume from age 15, has managed a store, and worked every year except her 1st year in law school bc they would not let work that year, though she worked part time during breaks.
She is an assistant SA in our county, Traffic. She just bought her first car last year and has title to it. She is living with us until later this year and now wants her own house. She $contributes.
Don't burden your parents. They may want to retire...someday...and every dollar they spend on you playing is a dollar that they cannot save toward their own future.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

Why does he want you to move out. Has he figured out the horses will likely have to go? Possible scenario -you move out, wind up having to sell horses, maybe even get pregnant, wind up splitting up over resentment of having to get rid of horses. Or, stay where you are if it's working. If he starts putting a lot of pressure on then his motives are selfish.


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

I think there is a lot of negativity going towards this guy that we know nothing about. 

It's pretty normal to look at moving in with someone you're serious with, especially I guess as a precursor to marriage in a way. I know I plan to settle down and hopefully start a family in the next couple years so my boyfriend and I moved in together about six months ago, and I guess we plan to get married in the next two years or so. It's often considered the next "step" in a serious and committed relationship after, maybe a year or so. Or at least it is with the people I know. If my boyfriend had indicated he didn't want us to move in together in the foreseeable future, after being together for a while, I'd think he wasn't really committed to the relationship. 

I don't think he should be responsible for her horses if they're just living together, and even if she does fall pregnant (which is a bit of stretch) there is no reason for her to get rid of the horses. I feel we're jumping the gun a bit on that.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

What's wrong with wanting to move in with your partner or wanting to stay home with your parents, assuming that the respective party is on board? Have a frank discussion with them. 21 years old is not unreasonable to still be living with parents, assuming they're ok with it and have the money. Just because you didn't do it doesn't mean that many families wouldn't encourage it for their kids. That's not to say that you should still be having your parents foot the bill for you and three horses in another 10 years, but her families retirement plans are between her and her family. 

Same with the guy. As my aunt famously said "I could just as easily get pregnant in a honda before or after midnight!" Living together really isn't gonna stop or cause that  In today's day and age it really isn't uncommon for couples to live river her. Not because one partner had any sketchy motives or anything, but because they love their partner, are in a committed relationship, want to live together, and like the idea of splitting costs. Of course, that is a serious discussion you need to have and you need to have a solid plan for if cohabitation doesn't work out or if you split up. At this point I see zero reason to see the boy in a negative light or the girl as a burden on her family.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Remali (Jul 22, 2008)

Lots of advice, lots of pros and cons to weigh. When I was 21, I really didn't know what I wanted to do yet, so I stayed living at home (my health issues also were an important factor in that choice, so a different situation for me). But, if I was happy enough living with my mom and dad, at 21, heck I'd stay there and keep my horses (unless I was planning to get married, or was really, really serious about the guy). But, well, that is just my two cents... it's a tough choice. not an easy decision. 

When the time did come, later on in my life, for me to downsize to one horse (I had two at the time by then) I sold one of my horses to a close friend, but I realize that isn't always a possibility, and then that may not always be a good thing to do either, depending on the situation.


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## HeroMyOttb (Dec 28, 2009)

Thank you everyone for your advice! 

On one note I do pay for my 3 horses and all my other bills. I am staying at my parents still trying to find a better paying job before I do move out with my boyfriend. 

My horses are really important to me they were my rock when my brother killed himself almost 2 years ago. So I personally feel I am behind a bit with my "life" while I was grieving my brother's death hardcore for a year. Which I still do have problems with my brother's death and my horses do really help. Also my brother never rode horses but he did ride my OTTB once. So it's kind of sentimental. I know many don't get it but for me it's more complex to get rid of the animals that were their for me when all my human friends abandoned me during my grieving. 

Now onto my boyfriend, he actually really enjoys my horses. He comes out to the barn with me on a regular basis and helps me feed and do barn chores. He has also started riding. He DOES NOT want me to get rid of the horses either. He sees how much they help me. I don't think he understands how much it costs. Or he just doesn't see it since he makes a lot more money then me at the moment. He wants me to move in because, well we are serious and planning on getting married and all that jazz. I want to move in with him to. Just because it's next step for us. 

I was just wondering how it was for others that moved out with horses.


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

HeroMyOttb said:


> Thanks guys! Just wanted to hear some advice on others that live on their own and had horses!
> 
> I actually still find time to ride them atleast 3 times a week and feed, groom, ground work. Etc.
> 
> ...


 I will add that I would never again give up my horses for a man. So I may not move in with him if it meant getting rid of my horses.


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## HeroMyOttb (Dec 28, 2009)

I posted a comment above yours saying that he DOES NOT want me to get rid of the horses. He understands how I am about my horses. Lol when we first started dating I made sure to tell him if he makes me get rid of horses then he goes. Lol


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

HeroMyOttb said:


> I posted a comment above yours saying that he DOES NOT want me to get rid of the horses. He understands how I am about my horses. Lol when we first started dating I made sure to tell him if he makes me get rid of horses then he goes. Lol


You gave the impression that if you moved out you couldn't afford the horses regardless if he wants them.


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## Remali (Jul 22, 2008)

I know what you mean about your horses being a huge part of your life, while going through such a tragic loss (I'm so sorry about your brother). During a very rough period in my life, some years ago, my animals were all I had left... our animals really do help us heal.


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## HeroMyOttb (Dec 28, 2009)

As of right now yes, I wont be able to afford them and move out. I have applied to better paying jobs, but looking more at the negative side with out getting better jobs.


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## HeroMyOttb (Dec 28, 2009)

It's so true Remali! That's why I feel its some what more complex since they did help me during that hard time.


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## gypsygirl (Oct 15, 2009)

Find a place that you don't have to pay for water.you may also have to settle for a not very nice apartment, not a house. Do not get internet or cable, that will save a fair bit every month. Lease out or part lease a horse or two.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ChitChatChet (Sep 9, 2013)

Depends on the area of course, but sometimes you can find a caretaker type position where room and board are free or dirt cheap in exchange for keeping an eye on things, keeping lawns mowed and that sort of thing.

Where there is a will there is a way.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

churumbeque said:


> You gave the impression that if you moved out you couldn't afford the horses regardless if he wants them.


That doesn't mean that he's a bad guy for suggesting it as some people implied, or that she's having to choose between her boyfriend and her horses. I didn't get the impression that he was gonna dump her if she didn't move in with him! I'm sure very few non horse people have a good grasp on how much horses actually cost, multiple horses in particular. 

It's something she'd be having to consider regardless of whether or not the boyfriend is an issue. Even if he wasn't a concern I'm sure the question of "should I move out and get out on my own feet even if the horses make it difficult?" would probably come up. If anything having the boyfriend as a roommate could make the move easier as costs could be split. Again, recognizing that you should have a plan in case things don't work out and you split up. Still also a concern even if horses aren't involved, and a concern even if the roommate isn't your boyfriend. 

Someone did bring up a good point that I didn't think of- some people will rent out places with both human housing and horse housing. Sometimes it'll be cheaper if you're caring for the owner's horses as well. Sometimes it'll be cheaper because it's a bare bones apartment above the barn or a dingy trailer on the property or something. Usually it's not the life of luxury, but it generally means that you can care for your own horses for cheap and not have to commute to them. Places like that are hard to find, but it's something that you could look into. Or, sometimes you can find a house that has a properly fenced area that can be used as a pasture for your guys. It's worth looking into, but you'd likely have to do all the work yourself.


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

DuckDodgers said:


> Someone did bring up a good point that I didn't think of- some people will rent out places with both human housing and horse housing. Sometimes it'll be cheaper if you're caring for the owner's horses as well. Sometimes it'll be cheaper because it's a bare bones apartment above the barn or a dingy trailer on the property or something. Usually it's not the life of luxury, but it generally means that you can care for your own horses for cheap and not have to commute to them. Places like that are hard to find, but it's something that you could look into. Or, sometimes you can find a house that has a properly fenced area that can be used as a pasture for your guys. It's worth looking into, but you'd likely have to do all the work yourself.


Actually this does happen a bit. Not straight when I moved out of home, but a couple of years later I ended up renting a room on a 30 acre property. I brought my horse for an extra $20, so all up about $150 including bills. I got another horse, which they didn't charge me for, so all in all it was really cheap and convenient. A bit out of town but not too far. 

Then later on, after I'd moved away and sold a horse me and my boyfriend were desperate for housing and we found some rooms to rent on a 80 acre property. No horses on it, but when the owner found out I had a horse she offered to let me keep in there for free, to help with the grass. 

I've known of a couple others, often people buy properties and can't afford the upkeep, and are happy to rent a room, and even let horses stay for free for a little help around the farm.


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## danicelia24 (Jul 16, 2013)

I like you have 3 horses. I moved out when I turned 18 and bought my first horse while at college. I worked at college and I found a wonderful place to board my mare for very reasonable price. After I got out for summer I asked my grandmother if I could build a pasture on her land and thankfully she said yes so I dont have to pay board but I did have to travel 60 miles a day to take care of them. Thankfully I found a wonderful man who is willing to help pay for my horses and who got his own horse. We are currently in the process of buying our own house which has 13 acres. It has been tough especially with paying rent and all our other bills but we have made it work.


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## 4horses (Nov 26, 2012)

I would not worry about trying to move in with the bf right away. You are very young and at your age your goals in life may change. Or things can happen and the relationship you were so invested in might fall apart.

Most of my friends changed bfs around the age 24, 25. It wasn't a lack of love, but I think what they wanted in life was different. My ex bf wanted to travel and had all these ideas which weren't going to happen if he stayed with me. He had a plan to go out of state to get his master's degree and move to another state for his job. He was not ready to commit. Last I heard he was living in south America, after moving around considerably.

Would I have been willing to relocate all my animals, every time he decided to change locations, or career? Nope.

I'm not saying your relationship is doomed to fail, but I would not give up my horses for a man, who you might end up breaking up with later on. Break ups happen even to those who are madly in love. Obviously it would be different if you were getting married and are that certain of your relationship.

Horses are a part of who I am and that is not something I'm willing to compromise. Break ups are difficult enough. If I had parted with my horses it would have made the break up that much worse. 

I'm still living at home but that is because of a sudden health crisis. Before I became sick I was working and had found a place with extremely cheap board. I was ready to move out, but it seems life had different plans. I had three horses during college, after getting sick I had to sell one. Now I have two which my parents pay for, but my mom loves the horses even if she doesn't ride.

If your family supports you and you get along well, I don't see a rush to move out on your own.

I certainly appreciate all the support my family has given me through the break up and my sudden severe illness. Given all my medical bills and family debt it is going to take a long time to get my feet back under me. 

You don't need to rush into anything and it is your choice if you want to keep or sell the horses. Don't feel pressured by what other people think. Do what you feel is right for you. There is no rule that you have to move out by a certain age. Talk to your family and get their opinion. Take your time to consider this. If he is right for you he will wait as long as it takes.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Saskia said:


> Actually this does happen a bit. Not straight when I moved out of home, but a couple of years later I ended up renting a room on a 30 acre property. I brought my horse for an extra $20, so all up about $150 including bills. I got another horse, which they didn't charge me for, so all in all it was really cheap and convenient. A bit out of town but not too far.
> 
> Then later on, after I'd moved away and sold a horse me and my boyfriend were desperate for housing and we found some rooms to rent on a 80 acre property. No horses on it, but when the owner found out I had a horse she offered to let me keep in there for free, to help with the grass.
> 
> I've known of a couple others, often people buy properties and can't afford the upkeep, and are happy to rent a room, and even let horses stay for free for a little help around the farm.


I guess it depends on the timing and the area. A friend of mine is in a fairly similar situation- she is 24, still lives at home, and has two horses. Basically paying for all of her expenses except rent. Her mom is fine with that. She has been looking for a place where she could move and take her horses, but hasn't found anything that would work out for her. Either the places are too expensive, too far to drive for work, have a million people inquiring, etc. that's not to say not to look, but sometimes it can be hard to find such places! I envy people that do live in such an area!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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