# Rude Trainer



## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

I believe you need a new trainer. 

If someone is not consistent with their rules, doesn't clearly lay out expectations for both students and lease horses, and tells you one thing only to punish you for then taking them at their word...this is a person who does not know how to communicate. This is also a person who does not know how to teach. 

Some people equate yelling, cursing, or being nasty with being a good teacher. Perhaps it's because someone was hard on them once, and they think that is what teaching is. 

The end-all of the matter is that you do not have to stand for bad treatment, rude treatment, or someone who cannot get themselves together. I would start looking elsewhere.


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## horselovinguy (Oct 1, 2013)

_WELCOME to the Forum!! :wave::wave:_ 

If it truly is this bad and unprovoked...*leave.*
You are* not *owned by this barn or trainer.
You don't own a horse, nor do you board a horse here...you lease.
If you are intimidated, afraid to speak up or confront the trainer...what are you actually learning...
Nothing!!

Move on to a new barn where you are treated respectfully by all and you treat others with respect.
When you feel you can ask questions, not be belittled for asking....you will be learning.
Right now, you're learning to be sneaky and to avoid a unpleasant situation...astride riding or just being in the barn you avoid this person at all cost..
That's not healthy.

You sound young, a teen.
Obviously not a adult like me who would stand-up and flat out ask what the problem is that I am spoken to is such a manner.
Rules, you want a written copy so you can study them and follow them.
If it isn't in writing and it is her barn..then she has some explaining to do, asking for some cooperation and understanding...
If you want to stay at this place_ {not understanding why!!}_ then someone better speak up on your behalf.
Bullying is not pretty no matter where it takes place or regardless of whom it is aimed at...
If it doesn't change after that face-to-face talk, _leave_, go find a barn where you are in a learning environment...called a healthy atmosphere!
If this is the treatment of more than just you...there may be a mass exodus out the door soon.
No one deserves to be spoken to or treated as such...*no one!*

:runninghorse2:...
_jmo..._


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## Dustbunny (Oct 22, 2012)

Why are you still there?


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## HaylsSnow (Aug 27, 2018)

Im still at this barn because I love the lease horse and it is the closest barn to me. We do not own a vehicle so it makes it difficult to get to the barn, sometimes I have to walk an hour to get there if I cant find a drive. Which I cant do with other barns.


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## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

LOL, she reminds me of my old trainer. :lol:

Definitely get a new trainer. I would not give her another dime.


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

Then I would say it is time for a quiet discussion where you can have her lay out the rules and ask for a copy in writing. Ask her if there is anything you can help with. Other than that always come prepared for anything even if you don't expect to need it. My child rides a lease but every now and then he is on another of the horses or the owner wants to try something new. He has gotten to where he has a stash of items in a bucket he puts in the car for lessons. It carries two types of spurs, two other bits, a dressage whip and two bats of different length and slapper size, a half pad of wool, and extra square pads. It also has a pair of riding gloves and work gloves, extra socks, a few tools and who knows what else but he is always prepared for anything. Granted if you had to walk I'd say just bring the whip. Easy enough and put it where you won't forget to bring it home. For my child this saves the headache of not having what is requested and when asked about an item he just smiles and says "Let me get that. There's one in the car..."


The cantering and jumping are understandable. When in doubt ask. Conditions change, footing changes, jumps maybe reconfigured, the ring/jump course may be needed for some reason (make up lesson, evaluating a horse or rider), an injury or suspicion of one may mean taking it easy for a day or two, horse may have already been used that day if another horse has an injury. Always double check prior to riding to see if what you have planned is ok. Even though you have a lease - the horse is not yours.


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## Dustbunny (Oct 22, 2012)

HaylsSnow said:


> Im still at this barn because I love the lease horse and it is the closest barn to me. We do not own a vehicle so it makes it difficult to get to the barn, sometimes I have to walk an hour to get there if I cant find a drive. Which I cant do with other barns.



Well, nuts. It seems like you are low on options if you want to ride. 
I like QtrBel's advice. Get a written copy of the rules, although it seems like the rules can change at will. Do the best you can and try not to take crap personally (if you can).


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## Sagebrushhh (Mar 31, 2018)

This sounds like a pretty toxic environment. If it was me, I would look at changing barns, but that depends on time/ money, and if there are any replacements available. I don't know if changing would affect your current lease- you could always look at changing when your lease is up, if you don't want to re-lease the horse. If you don't change, I would say that you should get a list of rules from your trainer. Sit down with her and explain your confusion, and have her tell you the specifics so you can record them in case of a future disagreement. Honestly, though, this trainer does not sound like she's doing her job well. If you can't change, then I would at least start setting some boundaries on how she treats you.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

I used to have a roommate like this. I call them crazy makers and they don't change. There is better out there, go find it. Riding is fun but like anything else, not when you are around toxic people like this. Find another trainer and start enjoying life and riding. I would leave to go to another barn and trainer and it wouldn't depend on anything. If I couldn't find another, I would take up kayaking. I certainly wouldn't spend another minute with a crazy maker.


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