# Leaving a barn without attracting negative attention



## 1LittleAppy (Apr 15, 2014)

I love the area I board at.

BUT

The couple who own the stables cant keep up with the responsibilities. 
The husband is retired and the wife used to run the barn with the aid of some hired hands before the husband retired. She was in an auto accident and can't help out with the chores and he is sole care taker for the 16 horses and ponies that remain there. His mobility is failing and can't carry himself as well. 

He does feed them hay everyday in addition to pasture grazing. He does feed the older horses senior feed.

BUT

The stables are full of manure, i don't think he has ever cleaned them out. My mare does not get stabled so its not really a concern to me, in fact none of the horses get stabled, all pasture. 

The arena is full of manure and floods, so i cant use that. he keeps the under weight seniors in there and lets the ponies come and go in the arena as they please. I am a trail rider so the arena is not really a concern to me. It would be nice to use in the winter though.

Last winter was tough and the water troughs were frozen more than not. I am out there every day making sure all the horses have water. Its an area he doesn't stay on top of.


I have found a great place that is very well maintained to move her to, and her best buddy is moving with us. The couple that run the barn are going to be devastated because when we move 1/3 of their boarders will be gone. 

I will add more later, but i have to go back to work.

How can i break this to them with out attracting negative attention?


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## Shropshirerosie (Jan 24, 2012)

You remain polite, kind and charming. You tell them that you are giving them one months notice, and that you are moving to x. You don't offer any reasons. When they ask you tell them that you 'like x's stables, or grass, or trainer, or tea-making facilities' some one thing that is innocuous. You don't compare critically to their place.

You don't point out any faults in their set-up or operation AT ALL. You thank them profusely for their help and kindness. You wish them the best and say that you may be back.

You leave on best of terms.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Give your notice. Honestly, you do not have to tell them where you are going or why at all. You could just say it is for convenience, or something innocuous. Just move on. The only negativity will be generated when you start giving reasons, etc. Keep it short, simple and to the point. For all they know, you are moving your horse into your living room. None of their concern, really.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

Since their health is failing he may be glad to have horses leave. Perhaps he didn't have the heart to ask anyone to leave.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

franknbeans said:


> Give your notice. Honestly, you do not have to tell them where you are going or why at all. You could just say it is for convenience, or something innocuous. Just move on. The only negativity will be generated when you start giving reasons, etc. Keep it short, simple and to the point. For all they know, you are moving your horse into your living room. None of their concern, really.


This. Tell him that you are giving your 30 day notice, and that you will be moving your horse within the month. A 30 day notice doesn't mean that you need to keep your horse there for the full month, just that you need to pay through the month. If things are really so bad that you don't feel your horse is safe there, then you can leave whenever. Personally, I would NOT give any indication that you're leaving unless you have a place you can move your horse and tack TOMORROW if something goes wrong. People make seamless transitions to new barns all the time, but I've heard enough stories about people getting angry about the news and mistreating horses, not feeding them, etc that I think this is a necessity. 

Really, though, it sounds like these folks will be happy to have one less mouth to care for. Be cordial and polite when approaching him, and don't mention the care as a reason for leaving. You are not obligated to give them a reason for leaving in the slightest, but if it were me I'd probably say I want to move to a barn closer to home/work, I'd like to move to a training barn to start lessons, something that isn't their fault at all. Don't mention any aspect of the care. That's when they would get defensive, promise to make changes, ask you to stay, etc. Leave it at that, and don't give in if they start prying any further into your reasons!


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## Chevaux (Jun 27, 2012)

Saddlebag said:


> Since their health is failing he may be glad to have horses leave. Perhaps he didn't have the heart to ask anyone to leave.


My thoughts exactly.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

In the meantime, why not try to get the other boarders out for part of a day and everyone clean the barn - many hands making light work. It will be appreciated.


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## 1LittleAppy (Apr 15, 2014)

He knows that this barn is in between my work and home. 
There isn't any closer places to board.
He knows I have zero interest in showing or training or trainers.
He still has a lot of pride would never admit to failing health.
There are only 5 borders currently. 2 of us have already made a deposit to the other boarding facility.
The other 3 never come out to visit. They are just checks in the mail. 

I was thinking about telling him I wanted to be closer to other bridle trails.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Then tell him that. Whatever you feel the need to say, short of that the care is poor
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## my2geldings (Feb 18, 2008)

There is no reason to leave on a bad note. Just let them know that you are moving your horses because its more convenient for you, and just leave it at that. No reason you need to give anymore info than that and potentially hurt some feelings. I agree with you that the situation you are in, is not a good one. I left the last barn were at because of that very reason. The owner said "she was to old to care for young horses" :shock:. She should not even be running anything if she cant care for horses! it sounds like you moving would be a better option for you guys.


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## 1LittleAppy (Apr 15, 2014)

It went better than i thought it would. 
I talked with the wife on the phone. I attempted to tell her in person but she was unable to come to the door when i knocked.
I told her i was moving my mare and told her the date i would be moving her. I offered to pay for an additional 2 weeks board to equal a 30 day notice. I told them i like the area and i hope i am welcome back. She asked why i was leaving. I told her a friend suggested a trainer and i was going to give it a try. I also said i hope to be back in the spring after the cold weather breaks or if things go badly i maybe back sooner.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

The best way to leave a barn without drawing negative attention is to never go to one in the first place.

Be polite and try not to get into the details.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Avishay (Jun 14, 2014)

If you're so inclined, it's never a bad idea to leave behind a nice thank-you card and/or a treat (cookies, or Rice Krispy Treats, etc). when you leave.


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## 1LittleAppy (Apr 15, 2014)

Avishay said:


> If you're so inclined, it's never a bad idea to leave behind a nice thank-you card and/or a treat (cookies, or Rice Krispy Treats, etc). when you leave.


I might just do that, good idea.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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