# my freak out on a horse



## MisssMarie (Jan 31, 2012)

Honestly? Id have a nice long talk with that trainer. She should not have made you stay On or even get on in the first place
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CLaPorte432 (Jan 3, 2012)

I personally think your trainer was very wrong to not allow you to get off. If you were more experienced and confident I'm sure you wouldn't have gotten off, but to make you stay on a horse that you do not know, even when your crying and hysterical, was insane. She doesn't know that horse what-so-ever, and doesn't know what he's capable of.

I don't know about you, but I'd highly consider finding a new trainer that wouldn't put me through the added stress of being bullied into doing something that you are not capable of handing, nor are you wanting to be involved in. There is a line, and your trainer crossed it Saturday.


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## MisssMarie (Jan 31, 2012)

CLaPorte432 said:


> I personally think your trainer was very wrong to not allow you to get off. If you were more experienced and confident I'm sure you wouldn't have gotten off, but to make you stay on a horse that you do not know, even when your crying and hysterical, was insane. She doesn't know that horse what-so-ever, and doesn't know what he's capable of.
> 
> I don't know about you, but I'd highly consider finding a new trainer that wouldn't put me through the added stress of being bullied into doing something that you are not capable of handing, nor are you wanting to be involved in. There is a line, and your trainer crossed it Saturday.


I agree with finding a new trainer too
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## corgi (Nov 3, 2009)

I agree with the others. Your trainer was out of line.


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## Walkamile (Dec 29, 2008)

I'm very sorry this happened to you. It shouldn't have. You should not have been put in this position, especially by your trainer. From what you have written, I think you need a different trainer. 

Good luck to you, I wish you the best.


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## xJumperx (Feb 19, 2012)

There are the trainers who are good, and push their students. Then there are the trainers who know everything and will drill it to you one way or another. Your trainer is the later. Time to get a new one.


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## Cat (Jul 26, 2008)

Add me to the find a new trainer section and if you don't want to do that - at least talk with her. A strange horse you don't know is not the time nor place to get over your fears.


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## CLaPorte432 (Jan 3, 2012)

Cat said:


> Add me to the find a new trainer section and if you don't want to do that - at least talk with her. A strange horse you don't know is not the time nor place to get over your fears.


Cat, I completely agree with this. A strange horse in a strange place in NOT the time to deal with getting over fears. Especially if the trainer knows NOTHING about how the horse rides.

OP, when she saw how the horse was acting on the ground, your trainer should have been the one to get on him. Or she should have made the responsible decision to say "thank you for your time" to the owner and walk away. 

YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG!


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

Your trainer was out of line and you need to fire her immediately.

If you are a minor, where were your parents (at least one of them) in all of this? Not only would I not let my daughter's trainer take her to see a horse without me, if I saw her doing the same to my daughter well let's just say things would get ugly quickly.


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## bnayc (Jan 3, 2012)

Thanks guys. I want nothing to do with her after that. She has made multiple appointments for me to view a horse, and they have either been way out of my skill level, or 4x my budget. How did you guys gain confidence with riding? Has anyone been bucked and came back strong? I just don't want to let my fear control me.


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## KissTheRing (Aug 2, 2011)

Ever taken a beginning yoga class? I have- It taught me breathing techniques to stay calm and relax my body.
When ever I find myself in a strange situation like Op's I use these techniques. 
Mind Over Matter- Next time breathe
Personally I dont think your instructor was completly wrong- But seeing it from your POV I can imagine the stress. Good luck trying to find a horse that will babysit you ~Lots of Love~


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## Northern (Mar 26, 2010)

You did nothing wrong, including crying, & the "trainer/instructor" did everything wrong! 

You could be dead right now, due to your trainer's incompetence; thank God you're ok.

For the future: NEVER get on a strange horse "cold"! You must put him through groundwork tasks to find out what his training level is! Even when you've got an old Dobbin of a horse, you NEVER just jump on, but you likewise put him through the groundwork tasks EVERY time before you mount up, to see "what side of the corral" he woke up on that day.

The fact that your trainer hasn't even taught you to stay safe by doing this screams imcompetence; incompetence that'll get you hurt or killed if you allow it to. Good Luck!


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## Northern (Mar 26, 2010)

I'll add that you need to give yourself credit for handling a super scary situation! You DEALT with it, & it was COMPOUNDED by 5 minutes more of trainer refusing to let you dismount! You're a lot braver than you're seeing!


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## CLaPorte432 (Jan 3, 2012)

bnayc said:


> Thanks guys. I want nothing to do with her after that. She has made multiple appointments for me to view a horse, and they have either been way out of my skill level, or 4x my budget. How did you guys gain confidence with riding? Has anyone been bucked and came back strong? I just don't want to let my fear control me.


You will absolutely come back strong! It takes time and patience and a lot of work and a lot of love for horses but you will be a confident rider. Especially once you find that one special horse that you click with.

If you have gone to see several horses and they aren't right for you because they are too highly trained, not trained enough or out of your price range, you really need to find someone else to help with your search. Obviously this trainer isn't LISTENING to you. She might "hear" you but she's just not "listening"

Find someone else, someone highly respected and have them help with your search. When you find the right horse, you will know. I know that sounds cliche but it's totally true!


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

bnayc said:


> How did you guys gain confidence with riding? Has anyone been bucked and came back strong?


I've been bucked off twice the same day by the same horse. The first time I just picked myself off and got right back on. Got launched again within five minutes. Took her to the other arena and lunged the poop out of her. Then jumped on again for a five mile trail ride.

I lost my balance on landing a jump during a lesson and pile drove my shoulder into the dirt. After figuring out I could stand and my arm still functioned I remounted and jumped two more fences. Why? To not let fear win. And to let the horse know that she needs to expect to be ridden even after the rider falls. I had to be helped off the horse cause I would not put any weight on my right shoulder it hurt so bad.

Then I drove myself to the hospital to find out my shoulder looked like this









I don't know how I get over my fears. I just do. It's something that's in you and comes easy to some and others have to work at it.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

What puzzles me is why this "trainer" didn't get on first?


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

waresbear said:


> What puzzles me is why this "trainer" didn't get on first?


Maybe didn't have the guts to?


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## Ladytrails (Jul 28, 2010)

I'm with you - the trainer should have ridden first. At the very least, the trainer should have observed the OP and the horse doing ground maneuvers or lunging to see how the horse responded to the OP. I'm certainly not a trainer and not even what I would consider a great rider/horsewoman, but ALL my guests must handle the horse before I allow them to get on. The OP was lucky she was a skilled enough rider with her wits about her to plow rein back to the barn!


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## JustAwesome (Jun 22, 2011)

The trainer needs a kick in the head, sorry.. she was way out of line.

You had every reason to get upset, I too suffer from anxiety and it's not nice and can get the better of you.

I like how you're not afraid to show your emotion, you will find the right horse and maybe don't bring your trainer.. do you have a close friend who is experienced?

x


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## Northern (Mar 26, 2010)

To get over your fears, you treat yourself the same way that you treat your horse: you take it in small steps. You find your first fear edge, where it's workable, then you work with it till it expands. You don't take yourself or a horse to the "outer limits" where it's too much to even stay THINKING about.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

MisssMarie said:


> Honestly? Id have a nice long talk with that trainer. She should not have made you stay On or even get on in the first place
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 
I agree. The trainer should get on before you. Then she can know the horse better. Shame on her for forcing you to get/stay on. Maybe you should be trainer shopping.


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## Darrin (Jul 11, 2011)

Put me on the trainer needs to be fired list. A good trainer would never but an inexperienced rider with anxiety issues on an unkown horse, especially since it appears from what you said a very green horse.


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## Prinella (Jul 12, 2011)

Time for a new trainer. You've stated that you're a begginer looking at a horse that has only bucked a few times. No bucker is suitable for a begginer. 

Your trainer seems to be showing alot of horses that they MUST know are not suitable. 

I have insisted to ride students horses that they have bought onto the property if I doubt suitability. Everyone I have done this to has welcomed it and has given me an idea what to get them working towards. Not a chance I'd let a student on a misbehaving horse before me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## LostDragonflyWings (Feb 1, 2012)

I only read the original post, and not many of the comments, but I think it is time to reconsider using that trainer.

When I was horse-looking (years ago), the trainer I had at the time rode each horse first. We visited 2 horses that she rode and deemed too much for me (at the time), and then she rode the third/last one, in which I was able to ride too... and ended up buying.

I have also been with a trainer (prior to the trainer I just mentioned) who would put you on crazy horses and tried to get you to keep going. I got off her crazy bucking very young (3-4 year old) horse almost in tears when I was about 14 years old.

It is definately not worth it to stick with a dangerous trainer, or one that will push you too far like that. I have been through a handful of different trainers, and there are some really good ones out there that are much more worth your time and money.


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## boldstart (Oct 11, 2009)

I agree with everyone else - time to get a new trainer. We all need a trainer that pushes us, but also knows when its time to back off.

Did the owner get on first? And why didnt the trainer?

Personally, I would never buy a horse that the owner at the time doesnt get on (unless the owner has health issues, preg).


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## LostDragonflyWings (Feb 1, 2012)

boldstart said:


> I agree with everyone else - time to get a new trainer. We all need a trainer that pushes us, but also knows when its time to back off.
> 
> Did the owner get on first? And why didnt the trainer?
> 
> Personally, I would never buy a horse that the owner at the time doesnt get on (unless the owner has health issues, preg).


That is interesting, as I do not think I would want the owner to get on or work with the horse first. While it would demonstrate the horse's behavior, the owner won't be there when you ride the horse the first time at your barn, etc.-- I know opinions differ on that, but that's just how I see it.

I would personally want the horse not pre-worked and in the stall when I arrived to meet him/her.... especially if I was bringing a trainer with me.


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## Delfina (Feb 12, 2010)

Honestly.... I'm not sure how much of this story to believe. 

This is the same individual who not so long ago had a horse that supposedly charged her and responded by wandering back to the barn for a chain, jerking the horse around with the chain, stalling him and then forcing him to stand in the stall with his head tied down. :shock:

Did the horse REALLY take off? We've all hear the horror stories of "OMG this horse went all rodeo on me and tried to buck me off" when reality was horse was attempting to shoo a fly off. :?

She stated the owner DID ride the horse prior to her getting on. I took my trainer with me while horse shopping but the one I ended up buying, she didn't ride. It was late, we'd both ridden half a dozen prospects that day, she was PG and exhausted, so after the owner hopped on, she asked if I was ok with getting on myself. If I'd had a horrid ride, I too could've come back and gone OMG the ride was awful, forgotten to include that the trainer asked if I was ok with hopping on and everyone would have said get a new trainer!

There are times when a trainer's job IS to make you do something. My horse spooked as I was mounting and I ended up with a mangled knee and unable to get on after. 3mo later it I had healed enough to get on and I no longer wanted to. My trainer dragged me out there and said GET ON. No, you can't ride the half-dead kid pony, no you can't sell your horse, YOU ARE GETTING ON NOW! I cried, I came up with excuses but on I went and never looked back. 

So how much do we believe? A lot of good people have been discredited because only one skewed side of a story is all that was told. 

Bottom line though, if you don't trust your trainer, get a new one.


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## Laineylou (Sep 26, 2011)

I don't think whether it all happened or not is the issue, I think the main issue that needs to be focused on is the fear and confidence issue, because even if a horse isn't crazy and is a perfectly manageable horse they can get antsy and flighty and hard to handle if the rider is acting the same way.

I think the first thing to do is to work on the confidence. I have confidence issues and I'm working on them little by little. First thing's first, maybe you don't even need to buy a horse at this point. Do you take lessons somewhere and have a nice lesson horse you can get used to? Or maybe know of a dead broke horse you can lease? I find it was easier for me to get over my confidence problems by having a horse I can trust. Dolly is by no means dead broke, she's flighty, spookish, and has an overly alpha-mare attitude, but she listens to me and she respects me and I've gained her trust over the years so I trust her fully. She's the only horse I'll ride comfortably.

Over time, with a horse you trust, you'll find yourself getting more and more confident. When you're ready then I would try testing out other horses if possible. Maybe you have a good friend who will let you exercise their horse one day, maybe try lessons on a different horse than you're used to.

I would definitely look into getting a new trainer, this trainer seems to want to push you too far too fast. I would find a trainer that lets you go at a pace you're comfortable with and actually asks you what you're comfortable with and what you're not.

I'd also ask yourself whether you're ready to buy your own horse or if you want to work out your confidence issues first. If you have no choice but to buy your own with a lack of horses available for you to ride I'd say just keep at finding one that's right, you definitely need a horse that's trustworthy. I lucked out in the fact that my horse may not have the best disposition for a beginner, but she was owned and trained by an Amish family for five years before I got her.


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## bnayc (Jan 3, 2012)

Delfina I am not trying to discredit the trainer. I have said no names and have not told any of her other clients about this incident. I know that it is my fault I allowed her to talk me into getting on that horse.
I agree that I should hold off looking for another horse. I have my Arabian and I am happy with him. I know I should be riding more, but its difficult at this point. My Arabian is older and had an injury a few years back so I can't take him too far too frequently. As far as it goes me taking lessons or riding a friends well broke horse, I don't want to trust anyone now. I know its stupid, but I have had so many people lie to me about their horses abilities. Thank you everyone that has been supportive!


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

New trainer. One you feel safe with. 

I think you should always let the owner on first - it is surprising the amount of owners that when the time comes will not get on the horse. If they're not willing to get on then there is no way I am either.


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## streaky (Apr 22, 2012)

get a new trainer!!!
no trainer should do that to you that is putting you in danger.
your trainer needs to make you feel confident happy and in control.


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## Rascaholic (Oct 4, 2010)

What you just described isn't working with a trainer. Trainers teach you, train you. They don't put you in a dangerous situation where you are losing control on a horse who has already lost control. If that makes sense. You match a student as close to their ability/comfort level as you can find, EVEN when doing a purchase consult.

I'd explain to this person that the behavior is not acceptable PERIOD. I wouldn't care what reasons she gave. YOU DO NOT FORCE a student into anything with physical force. I am so appalled at your "trainers" behavior I can't even put into words how wrong this was.

OP I know in our area the number of well qualified trainers are few. Students line up for lessons with these particular trainers. I don't know how it is in your area, but even if this one was the ONLY qualified trainer in the area, I'd still tell her to bite me and keep her paws to herself.


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## bnayc (Jan 3, 2012)

Thanks rascaholic. There are a decent amount of trainer in my area. Unfortunately 99% of them only train for shows and work with those types. I have already walked into a few facilities and been laughed out when I said I wasn't interested in showing, just riding. Even though we are a farm town, people get very snobby. 
There is a recreation facility that gives lessons and trail rides. But they mostly teach children. Perhaps I could convince them to let me join? Lol


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