# i just need a chat...



## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

hi guys

i got some bad news today. my mum hasnt been well for a while but her normal doctor couldnt figure out what was wrong :roll: so she visited a specialist last week and got her results back yesterday and it turns out she has bowel cancer 

this has rocked me so much. my dad only died 8 months ago from skin cancer and now my mum has cancer too. even though im a strong person, i dont know how im going to deal with this. my dads death still hurts so much but my mum was still there for me which provides some level of comfort. i dont know what ill do if my mum dies too  

my dad was sick for five years and it was five years of agony for him and for us and even though we were devastated when he died, everything else was over. no more radiation therapy, no more operations, no more watching him slowly get sicker and sicker, no more morphine drips...i cant stand to see my mum go through it as well 

im sorry this is a depressing post, i just needed to chat with others who i know always manage to say something to make you feel a little better.

thanks for listening


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## meggymoo (Mar 10, 2007)

Aww Jazzy, I'm so so sorry. I know what its like to lose a dad, my dad died about 15years ago, when I was 18, and theres still not a day that goes by where as I dont think of him or miss him.
I'm sorry I dont know a great deal about bowel cancer, has the doctor given any advice to treatment etc?
My heart goes out to you Jazzy ((BIG HUGS)). Please PM me anytime you need a chat. 
I'll be thinking of you and your family. xx


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

meggymoo said:


> Aww Jazzy, I'm so so sorry. I know what its like to lose a dad, my dad died about 15years ago, when I was 18, and theres still not a day that goes by where as I dont think of him or miss him.
> I'm sorry I dont know a great deal about bowel cancer, has the doctor given any advice to treatment etc?
> My heart goes out to you Jazzy ((BIG HUGS)). Please PM me anytime you need a chat.
> I'll be thinking of you and your family. xx


aaaww thanks meggy. we went know more ourselves until after the MRI tomorrow. the doc has said at this stage, unless it has spread anywhere else, that he *should* be able to remove it. before surgery though, they are going to do a course of radiation that will last 6 weeks. but then when my dad was first diagnosed they said he would be ok too so you never know what to believe 

thanks again for you support meggy. its like my little extended family on here


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## meggymoo (Mar 10, 2007)

Keep us posted wont you? And try to think positive. I'll be thinking of you. ((BIG HUGS))


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

i keep telling myself to be positive too  i guess its just harder with my dads death so recent still.

i will definitely keep you posted on whats happening. it helps to talk in here where i dont have everyone else crying and being as upset as me 

thanks again meggy *hugs back*


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## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

When it rains it really does hurricane doesn't it? I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I will think good thoughts that the tests come back with better news and the cancer can be removed safely. Its a good thing they figured out what it was sooner rather than later. 
What is it about moms, we never think something bad will happen to them, at least I don't. Mine is in Florida right now, so I don't see her as often as I would like but we have daily chats on the computer. I don't even think of her not being there someday and can't even think of her as being "old". 
Please keep us informed and our thoughts will be with you and your family.


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

Vidaloco said:


> When it rains it really does hurricane doesn't it? I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I will think good thoughts that the tests come back with better news and the cancer can be removed safely. Its a good thing they figured out what it was sooner rather than later.
> What is it about moms, we never think something bad will happen to them, at least I don't. Mine is in Florida right now, so I don't see her as often as I would like but we have daily chats on the computer. I don't even think of her not being there someday and can't even think of her as being "old".
> Please keep us informed and our thoughts will be with you and your family.


we are all hoping for it all being able to be removed. IF it hasnt spread the doc reckons he can get it all in an op but if it has spread the news isnt as good  we get the results of todays MRI next friday. its going to feel like forever until then

its very true. i never even thought about a time when my mum wouldnt be here. she always has been here and i guess i took it for granted that she always would be here. 

i dont get to see her as much as i would like either. she lives about 2500kms away. thats the other thing that makes me sad. when dad was sick he had mum there with him all the time and now mum is sick she has no one. well, she has people there but they are all old like her and its a 1 1/2 hour travel to the city for treatment. then theres my aunty who would be with her but she has just finished chemo herself and is still not well  i hate cancer!! its getting everyone i love. 

thanks vida


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## barnrat (Jan 1, 2007)

it sounds real bad, have you checked yourself for cancer yet? I know when my aunt had cancer everyone in the family had to check...not sure why though? I thought it wasn't hereditary....must be especially because my mom and her were twins....

I'm so sorry, I miss my Aunt who passed away from this every day. I was really close to her, and the last thing I said to her...I grunted...I was DUMB! oh gosh.....I still visit her often and tell her how much I love her! I tell her everything thats going on, or at least try too.....

I hope all goes well for you, and hope that technology has increased in the last five years...since my aunt had lung cancer. 

My prayers are with you and everyone else dealing with cancer.


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## Crazy4Horses (Nov 13, 2007)

So sorry to hear about your mom Jazzyrider  . Hopefully her MRI will come with some good news.Try to think positive as meggymoo said and remember that there is always a welcoming face waiting for you in the paddock that will be more than happy to lend you a shoulder or neck and will listen to whatever you tell him and of course the horse forum is here for you to jazzyrider. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.


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## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

Any news yet Jazzy or is it next friday for the results?


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

Vidaloco said:


> Any news yet Jazzy or is it next friday for the results?


hey vida

no its next friday she sees the doctor. thanks for thinking about it though


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## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

I actually called my mom on the phone last night instead of just IM. We must have talked for 2 hours, very unusual for me as I hate talking on the phone.


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

Vidaloco said:


> I actually called my mom on the phone last night instead of just IM. We must have talked for 2 hours, very unusual for me as I hate talking on the phone.


aawww  these kinds of things really make you think dont they. in a heartbeat everything can change and the things you take for granted can easily be in jeopardy.

im kinda touched to think that my situation is affecting people half way around the world. touched and humbled


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

barnrat said:


> it sounds real bad, have you checked yourself for cancer yet? I know when my aunt had cancer everyone in the family had to check...not sure why though? I thought it wasn't hereditary....must be especially because my mom and her were twins....
> 
> I'm so sorry, I miss my Aunt who passed away from this every day. I was really close to her, and the last thing I said to her...I grunted...I was DUMB! oh gosh.....I still visit her often and tell her how much I love her! I tell her everything thats going on, or at least try too.....
> 
> ...


thank you  i havent been checked yet but seeing as the source of bowel cancer can be hereditary i will be going to the doc next week


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## barnrat (Jan 1, 2007)

I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you. It should never happen to anyone! 

Prayers are out for your family from all of us! :wink:


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

thank you barnrat. with the amount of thoughts and prayers going out to me and mum it has to be ok


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## latte62lover (Sep 4, 2007)

wow... I am soo sorry.

Right now i am experiencing the first illness to go through my family that i actually remember. My grandma was diagnosed about a year ago with lung cancer. The doctors did some surgery and all was well until it spread to her brain and since then everything has gone down hill. It was so terrible going to see her and just watch her skinny face stare at the ceiling and not know who i was, who my brothers were, or even her own son. I wanted to do something but there wasn't anything i could do. Now its really sad because she still has the cancer but she is talking again as of last week. She is feeding herself, talking on the phone and being absolutely coherent. she is always talking about how she wishes she could get out of this place. Unfortunately about 5 months ago the doctors said she would only love for 6 months. i guess this is just the calm before the storm....


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## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

Heard anything yet?


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

just thought i would update everyone.

mum saw the specialist on friday and while the tumour is larger than they originally thought, it is all contained to the bowel and the specialist is very confident that he can remove it all and that she can make a full recovery.

she starts radio therapy next week which will go for 5 weeks and then she has 6 weeks of chemo. then she has the operation and after 6 weeks, she goes onto 3 months of chemo. apparently they are finding that people who undergo both radio and chemo have a higher chance of complete recovery and less chance of it coming back. it will prob take about 12 months all up for the treatment to be over but it seems very positive at this stage  i can breathe again! i dont think ive taken a full breathe for a week and a half now

thanks guys for all your support and help  hopefully everything will be A-OK


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## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

Glad you can breath now. Your mom has a rough year to get through. Is the radio the same as radioactive iodine therapy? My father in law had to have that and it wasnt too bad except not being able to be around anyone (he was actually radioactive) The Chemo has been a real ****** for him but his last cancer count was almost normal.  Still wishing the best for your mom


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## meggymoo (Mar 10, 2007)

I'm glad you can breathe again too. Like Vida said its a rough year ahead for both you, your family and your mum. But you'll come through fighting, and its times like these that make families so much more stronger.
Just remember Jazzy, we at the Horseforum are always here for you, love, prayers, thoughts and HUGE ((BIG HUGS)) are sent to you and your family. :wink:


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

Vidaloco said:


> Glad you can breath now. Your mom has a rough year to get through. Is the radio the same as radioactive iodine therapy? My father in law had to have that and it wasnt too bad except not being able to be around anyone (he was actually radioactive) The Chemo has been a real ****** for him but his last cancer count was almost normal.  Still wishing the best for your mom


yes a very tough year ahead thats for sure...lucky mums a tough cookie 

i think this radiotherapy is different. when my dad had his radiotherapy for his cancer he wasnt radioactive and mum hasnt said anything about it. its the chemo she is most anxious about cause its supposed to have more side effects than the radio. 

im having visions of your father in law glowing green now  glad to hear he is doing well now 

meggymoo - _"Just remember Jazzy, we at the Horseforum are always here for you, love, prayers, thoughts and HUGE ((BIG HUGS)) are sent to you and your family."_

thank you so much for your support (and everyone elses ) it really means a lot


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## KIIM (Dec 12, 2007)

I hope your mum is ok. i recently had a family member who died from cancer and know how tough it can be *hugs*. Its good that they think that she will make a full recovery. will keep my finger crossed for your mum.


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## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

Hey Jazzy, I couldn't see him when he went through the treatment so can't say if he "glowed" or not :wink: I know it was an injection type of stuff irradiated Iodine (sp?) He had to stay in hospital till the rads went down. Really weird treatment :? My sister in law had just had a baby so he couldn't even see his new grandchild till after a few weeks. He had thyroid cancer though, one of those that have a really good recovery rate.


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## I Love Lane (Dec 11, 2007)

Hi Jazzy,

Just wondering if your mum started her treatment yet?? Hope everything is going well and you, your mother and your family are in my thought and prayers.

Lyne


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

^^^you must have missed it  i posted a few posts back about the docs appointment


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## I Love Lane (Dec 11, 2007)

dumb da dum dumb..........

if i actually read before posting i may not look like such a twit!!! :roll:


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

I Love Lane said:


> dumb da dum dumb..........
> 
> if i actually read before posting i may not look like such a twit!!! :roll:


hehehehe its all good  happens all the time


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## Grumman (Oct 18, 2007)

So your mom is fine?


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

Grumman said:


> So your mom is fine?


well hopefully. she still has a long year of treatment but it looks as though she will be fine in the end


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## Grumman (Oct 18, 2007)

Well that's good, I am happy to hear that!!!!
8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

Grumman said:


> Well that's good, I am happy to hear that!!!!
> 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8) 8)


hehehe thank you


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## -xx-sally-xx- (Dec 29, 2007)

hi Jazzy.. Im really sorry to hear about the troubles you and your family are going through, and i know what its like to get all this sympathy when all you want is for things to go back to normal.. I know what its like to have something that means the world to you ripped away from you in a split second but thats life, people come and people go and eventually you'll be left with all the happy memories you shared together and one day you'll think of something they did or something they said, and you'll laugh instead of cry.. My heart and hopes are with you.. Be safe..


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

-xx-sally-xx- said:



> hi Jazzy.. Im really sorry to hear about the troubles you and your family are going through, and i know what its like to get all this sympathy when all you want is for things to go back to normal.. I know what its like to have something that means the world to you ripped away from you in a split second but thats life, *people come and people go and eventually you'll be left with all the happy memories you shared together and one day you'll think of something they did or something they said, and you'll laugh instead of cry.*. My heart and hopes are with you.. Be safe..


i know what you mean but im still waiting for that too happen with my dad  thank you for your kind words


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## Friesian Mirror (Jan 11, 2007)

Hey Jazzy,

Hang in there, a year is a long time but it will go by faster then you realize, everybody here is thinking of you and your family.

Raechel


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

Friesian Mirror said:


> Hey Jazzy,
> 
> Hang in there, a year is a long time but it will go by faster then you realize, everybody here is thinking of you and your family.
> 
> Raechel


thanks raechel, that really means a lot to me


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## RockinTheBit07 (Jan 3, 2008)

Jazzy,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am soo sorry, this must be a really tough time for you especially so close to your fathers passing. My grandma had cancer above her lip, had it removed, but it came back, they removed it again and so far it hasnt reappeared. If you need a shoulder to lean on we are here for you!!! Even tho i am kinda new on here, I already feel like this is another family, so if you need anything just let me know!


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