# Another whiny thread about being a barn owner...



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

Horses and their owners: You can't live with them.. and you cant live with out them. As a barn owner you whine because you never get to take a vacation and then when you do get a "vacation"... it's torture to not be there! I miss my ponies! I know all horse owners feel this way but for me as a barn owner.. I feel responsible for everything for both horses and owners. I hate not being there when they need me! 

One more gripe: Sometimes I hate how personal our business is. I love and hate with equal measure how it's a community and a family. As a barn owner, especially when you live at the barn, you feel like you're life is on display and you have no privacy. For me personally, I'm pretty open and honest about most things so private things for me are realllly private but at the barn, nothing stays that way for long! :lol: It makes me nervous to have my weaknesses displayed at my place of business.

I have some time off this weekend... Any good debate threads? Maybe I'll come up with a fun list of the perks of being a barn owner.. :wink:


----------



## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I don't own a barn, but I can sure see where privacy would be something you'd have to take strong measures to protect. I never met a more gossipy bunch than women at a barn! Some men, too. Anything you say can, and will, be used against you in a kangaroo court of law!


----------



## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

As a foster parent of teenagers, you have no idea of the level of privacy that you have now. Imagine your boarders sleeping in your house every night? 

I manage for my kids to not to be in my personal business, it's not possible for them to know something unless it is shared in front of them. If your boarders are aware of personal stuff from you, then you are sharing with them or doing things in public. It's hard sometimes when there is an argument brewing with your spouse, but there is no reason to do it with an audience. 

As far as time off, I get 21 nights a year without the kids. I think so far in three years, I have managed three weekends that I can think of when I did not get a bunch of phone calls during this time. It's the nature of the beast.


----------



## cakemom (Jul 4, 2010)

I can't see where it's a perfect job, but it's the one you chose....
This is what I tell myself daily as I deal with the hardships of my life. I've spent four nights away from my "job" in 12 years. I'm a stay at home mom, and privacy isn't an option....money is always tight, but so is the relationship I have with my kids. 
You, well you chose your job, it's a hard one, but very rewarding I'd assume. Your boarders can either be customers or family, depending on you. Our BO is family, and we all know each others business. If your barn in full of ickies, and they are "family" then it's time to have a family prayer meeting in the barn. 
But...as I said, it's our life, we chose it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

Some stuff is unavoidable though... even some marriage stuff is unavoidable especially when you run the business together. LOL if my boarders didn't know me or have a sense of humor at all my husband and I would be pretty frightening. We're the bickery types.. 
Me: "Hun where are those freaking wire cutters for the 800 billionth time?! GEEZ!" 
Hubby:"uhhhh up your butt and around the corner?" 
Me: "I just checked and they're not there so what did you do with them?!" Hubby: "You sure? I would be more than happy to help you check ......"
Me: "On second thought.. I might have left them in Image's butt (my bitchy mare). You should definitely check there!"


----------



## Dressage10135 (Feb 11, 2009)

Well that sounds... professional.


----------



## cakemom (Jul 4, 2010)

Yeah, that's just not a way that I act period, so I don't understand that. I don't have that sort of relationship with ANYONE! 
Don't fight in front of children and keep fights out of the barn.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

Professionalism might help you out. Sure it's your home, and you work together, but there is no reason to talk to each other like that in front of others. Do you behave differently in front of his parents, or your children? I would hope so, and that's how you should behave when you are working. 

Seriously, who in the world would want to hear that crap from another couple? 
It's not about having a sense of humor, it's about being professional.


----------



## Allison Finch (Oct 21, 2009)

starlinestables said:


> :lol: It makes me nervous to have my weaknesses displayed at my place of business.
> :


Sorry, I couldn't help but laugh out loud. You are nervous about a few people knowing your business, yet you post this on the WORLD wide web?:lol:


----------



## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

I'm a barn owner, but I only share it with the horses. It's a beautiful thing! 

I do have lesson students and training clients in and out but no boarders or daily drama. Boarding is one thing I've always sworn I wouldn't do. Too much headache. I like my privacy, not having to share my arenas, and get to keep my sanity (well a little anyway...)


----------



## THN (Oct 11, 2011)

I don't know much about your situation so correct me if i'm wrong. It sounds like you live at work and work at home and it is all blending together so much that you have no clue where time off starts and where work ends and it is stressfull and your personal life is non existant because you are always working even when you are about to fall asleep your last thought is work because thats just the nature of the job.

I've been there and i know the feeling. What i had to do is seperate out my living quarters from work and "commute" 1 flight of stairs to work. I get ready for my day, gather everything i need, then leave my living quarters and go to work. I do my best to "stay at work" and not return back to my living quarters untill i am off the clock. If you can make a physical barrier do it! a fence or hedge row that seperates out your family's personal space that boarders should not cross unless invited. in the same way work should not cross that line either. obviously there will be a little work on the wrong side of the fence but try to minimalize it. When you are on the work side of the fence act professional even if your husband doesn't. on the home side of the fence is the place for any "up your butt and around the corner" conversation. set yourself some realistic work hours that you spend in the barn, doing office work, maintaining the grounds, etc. There will be times when you will have to work outside of your work hours, but that is emergency only time! Ie - horse is injured, colicy, loose. I realy thing it will help a lot.

The nice thing about living at work is the commute is 1 minute, you don't have to drive through bad weather, don't have to pay for gas, and you can run home real quick if you forgot something. the problem is that it goes both ways and it's one of the worst parts as well. Wishing you the best of luck.


----------



## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

I don't have any help for keeping your private life private except to say, just keep quiet about it. I would never discuss any of my personal stuff with my boarders. And if my husband ever DARED say something along the lines of 'up your butt and around the corner' to me, private or not, he'd find himself sleeping in the chicken coop for an extended period of time. We just don't talk to each other that way, it's a major disrespect issue.


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

AlexS said:


> Professionalism might help you out. Sure it's your home, and you work together, but there is no reason to talk to each other like that in front of others. Do you behave differently in front of his parents, or your children? I would hope so, and that's how you should behave when you are working.
> 
> Seriously, who in the world would want to hear that crap from another couple?
> It's not about having a sense of humor, it's about being professional.


It IS about having a sense of humor or life would be pretty dull. Obviously we don't sit there and make super inappropriate jokes or scream at each other in the aisle way.



Allison Finch said:


> Sorry, I couldn't help but laugh out loud. You are nervous about a few people knowing your business, yet you post this on the WORLD wide web?:lol:


Why is that funny? most people find it easier to share with perfect strangers over the net. Besides... What did I post exactly? Did I post what my issue's were? No. Just that I wish everyone didn't always know my business. I'm missing the part where you find THAT funny... ?lol

I love horse forum... always entertaining.


----------



## Spyder (Jul 27, 2008)

starlinestables said:


> Just that I wish everyone didn't always know my business. I'm missing the part where you find THAT funny... ?lol
> 
> .



Just a word of advice here. If you don't want people ..your boarders or strangers knowing what your private business is then I would stop posting about what goes on at your stable.

Personally I don't care, but if you were the BO where my horse was, I would dump you in a minute.

Also you are a horse owner so why don't you instead post more about your riding problems, or if you don't have many, then how about contributing more to those that do?


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

Spyder said:


> Just a word of advice here. If you don't want people ..your boarders or strangers knowing what your private business is then I would stop posting about what goes on at your stable.
> 
> Personally I don't care, but if you were the BO where my horse was, I would dump you in a minute.
> 
> Also you are a horse owner so why don't you instead post more about your riding problems, or if you don't have many, then how about contributing more to those that do?


The stuff I post here is obviously stuff I don't mind my boarders knowing about. Spyder...I enjoy your posts and often agree with you in the matters of dressage but respectfully, I don't know you and you don't know me so lets just be thankful our relationship doesn't extend beyond HF and leave the witchy remarks out of it.

I do post in other parts of HF.. not sure what you are referring too with the contributing comment?


----------



## Poseidon (Oct 1, 2010)

starlinestables said:


> Why is that funny? most people find it easier to share with perfect strangers over the net.


However, since you post under your actual stable's name, a quick Google search will bring up any negative things you have said about your boarders on this forum. The internet is not a private place.


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

starlinestables said:


> The stuff I post here is obviously stuff I don't mind my boarders knowing about.


Maybe I should put this as my signature?


----------



## Sharpie (May 24, 2009)

As a boarder and never barn owner, my hats off to you individually, and all of you in general. I don't think I like people enough to be able to deal with lots of people in *my* space doing their things with their horses, or worse, to see them do potentially dangerous things or not care for their animals to the standard I would mine. I like and would second the earlier suggestion to have some visible line between "work" and "home." It's been a great thing for my life when I learned to do that.

I don't mind humor, rough or not, and figure if it works for people's relationship, then more power to them. Then again, I ask people to describe their cats' and dogs' vomit or feces to me (in detail) on a daily basis and think the mechanics of collecting stallions is perfectly acceptable dinner conversation, so maybe I don't belong in polite company.


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

LOL Sharpie.


----------



## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

She did warn that it would be a "whiney" thread.


----------



## boofa (Nov 25, 2011)

starlinestables said:


> Some stuff is unavoidable though... even some marriage stuff is unavoidable especially when you run the business together. LOL if my boarders didn't know me or have a sense of humor at all my husband and I would be pretty frightening. We're the bickery types..
> Me: "Hun where are those freaking wire cutters for the 800 billionth time?! GEEZ!"
> Hubby:"uhhhh up your butt and around the corner?"
> Me: "I just checked and they're not there so what did you do with them?!" Hubby: "You sure? I would be more than happy to help you check ......"
> Me: "On second thought.. I might have left them in Image's butt (my bitchy mare). You should definitely check there!"


I just laughed out loud..Thanks!!!
:lol:


----------



## With Grace (Oct 20, 2011)

I can understand that you would want to keep your personal life personal as a BO. I try not to ask any personal questions of my trainer/BO because of this...horse stuff only. Keeps our relationship friendly but still professional that way.


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

boofa said:


> I just laughed out loud..Thanks!!!
> :lol:


At least someone got it... lol:lol:


----------



## SarahAnn (Oct 22, 2011)

I am a BO, too. But the only horses I currently board are my own... I have had a few friend's horses board in the past, but for whatever reason they couldn't care for them everyday. So I didn't mind spending time with a few extra horses, because I still got my barn time. If they were going to be there everyday all day, I probably would have said no. The most I have had was 10 in my barn. I now have half that, and like I said, all my own. 

Even my husband knows to call me before he heads to the barn. That's my space, and my time, and for safety reasons I need to know when he's coming in. (He's not so graceful, bangs and moves fast.) I also have a 2 year old, and that's another reason I demand a call before they head down. I could be in the isle cleaning feet or anything- and when that door slides open and a 2 year old comes running in, I'd rather not have the foot of a 6 year old stallion (or better yet, a 2 year old Percheron) in my hand. They are good, but like I said, my husband is not the most graceful of fellows. He drops things, trips, moves quickly, all things that usually my horses are fine with- but I can see the whites of their eyes- no need for a spook. 

Anyway. The point of that long drawn out spiel was that barn time is precious and should be respected. I don't think the barn is the place for goofing around. Whether it be talking about things in people's butts, pushing each other playfully, or playing soccer. 

Don't get me wrong, I goof off plenty. But NEVER in the barn. In the riding arena? Sure. And sometimes the horses love when we goof around with them in the arena. But to me, the barn is their safe place. They need to feel comfortable. I keep the radio down low, and stay calm, and talk relatively quietly. Its important to me that they feel comfortable... And when I walk down in the morning and all 5 of them are still laying down sleeping, I smile and say "good morning!" 

I LOVE that they are comfortable enough to lay down and sleep. Even after I have opened the doors and walked down the isle.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Allison Finch (Oct 21, 2009)

Starline, I am sorry my first post came off as snarky. It truly wasn't meant to be. I was just tickled in the irony of it, that's all.

As for the life of a BO. I have never held that job, but have seen plenty in action. Some do it well, some not so much. It has to be very difficult for anyone to separate home from work. 

Seems like the ones who do it well seem to either have the ability to hire good stable hands to do the rougher work, leaving them to do the supervising and PR type work, or they have their living areas pretty much off limits except in cases of emergency. But mostly, the good ones are very tight about even bringing up anything personal about their situations in public.

I have seen some barns where the tension (either real OR perceived) have set a the tone to those around the facility. What one person may think is funny may be seen as anger by another. It may be difficult for them to see through the type of humor being made. I guess I would offer a suggestion to be careful what form of humor is being made in the public areas of the barn. If I had been privy to the mock exchange you offered in your post, I would have felt very uncomfortable.

We ALL have weaknesses....that is a given. Sometimes it is just very hard to keep them under cover of silence. Once they have been made a point of conversation, the topic takes on a life of its own, morphing every time it is retold. Just try to keep your personal life out of any initial conversations.


----------



## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

All I'll say is that reading about 'barns' makes me glad my horses are in my back yard. At the risk of being hopelessly sexist, maybe riding needs more men. Most of us could go 5 years and not learn the name of the person with a horse in the stall next to ours...or care.

Sometimes, going thru life with blinders on is a good thing.



















When my wife asks me what is going on, I can honestly say, "Beats me!"

Perhaps Starline Stables could order some sets for all the boarders...


----------



## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

This is a photo of me in my younger days:










I find life is easier when one doesn't have a clue about what is going on.


----------



## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

bsms said:


> All I'll say is that reading about 'barns' makes me glad my horses are in my back yard.


I couldn't agree more. I've got the setup to have boarders but haven't ever and don't ever plan on having any.


----------



## Spyder (Jul 27, 2008)

Most horse owners are likely to think the same. So what if I should choose to ride my horse in a manner you may not like or if my horse may eat more or do anything different that another horse at your barn. That is between me and the barn owner...not the world wide web.


----------



## sarahver (Apr 9, 2010)

I have to say, I have boarded at many barns and worked at even more than I have boarded at. I couldn't even give you a number, safe to say well over 20. I have never experienced the types of problems that I read about on this board at ANY of those places! 

I go to work horses and/or tend to them as needed, then I go home. I don't like gossip and as such don't get involved conversations when they involve other people's business, no matter how much people try and engage me. Not worth it and not the reason I go to the barn. As such I suppose I am well out of the 'loop' when it comes to knowing what everyone else is up to but that's how I like it.

I also don't give advice to people regarding their horse's training or care (unless it is some type of emergency) if they are not a client of mine because more often than not, they are someone else's client and it just isn't any of my business. Too many cooks spoil the broth.

For example, I had a lady come to me at the barn where I board my own horse seeking advice regarding her badly behaved gelding, even though she is under the care of the main trainer at the barn. My only recommendation was for her to talk to her own trainer about resolving the issue. She was a little miffed that I wouldn't help but to be honest, it isn't any of my business and getting involved would serve only to disrespect the trainer and possibly give reason for the client to second guess the trainer's judgment. Pretty much creates a sticky situation for all involved.

When it comes to horse people, everyone has their own opinion and everyone wants their voice to be the loudest. I find it is always the same 'types' that get involved with politics, whether it is in the workforce or at the barn or wherever. Then they wonder why they are always having some sort of strife with one person or another.

I tend to just keep my trap shut most of the time. Works for me.


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

Spyder said:


> Most horse owners are likely to think the same. So what if I should choose to ride my horse in a manner you may not like or if my horse may eat more or do anything different that another horse at your barn. That is between me and the barn owner...not the world wide web.


I don't mention names and if it is truely of a private or embarrassing nature I would never mention it anywhere. I will do just about anything for a horse and owner even if I don't agree.. I don't care.. and I certainly don't care enough to publicize it. In the 3 years I've been open, I've only had 2 people leave on bad terms and they were crazy by everyone's standards. Situations arise and I'm truely curious what the best way to handle them is. In fact, if it involves someone else I will tell them "Can I have a day or two to research it and think on it and then get back to you? I may post in a few forums and see what we can come up with."


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

The privacy issue I'm referring too is I had some health issues that I couldn't hide from boarders over the last two weeks and then ended up having to have surgery which was both physically and emotionally hard. Did I try hide it? Hell yeah.... but these silly ponies kept requiring my help that I could not give them and of course boarders want to know why. :-| At a normal job, you just have to answer to your boss.. but when you are the boss you have to answer to everyone.


----------



## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

starlinestables said:


> I don't mention names and if it is truely of a private or embarrassing nature I would never mention it anywhere. I will do just about anything for a horse and owner even if I don't agree.. I don't care.. and I certainly don't care enough to publicize it. In the 3 years I've been open, I've only had 2 people leave on bad terms and they were crazy by everyone's standards. *Situations arise and I'm truely curious what the best way to handle them is.* In fact, if it involves someone else I will tell them "Can I have a day or two to research it and think on it and then get back to you? I may post in a few forums and see what we can come up with."


You are truly the most "curious" BO I know! :lol:

I am sorry for your health issues. But, I can say that my BO has had some in the past year also. There are a couple of things she does to maximize her privacy:
She has someone she can call at a moments notice if need be to care for the horses. In fact-she has a couple , in case one is not available. When they are there and she is not, it matters not to the boarders WHO is caring for the horses, just that they are well cared for. Some of the boarders never know. I do, just because I am a friend. Our barn is about half and half--half being good friends, half being "just boarders".
SHe has this network of friends (somewho are also boarders) who are also available to help her if need be. All she has to do is pick up the phone.....or, as when she got injured this summer-her family does and we take care of getting things taken care of. There is always an updated feed and turnout list on the feed bin, so that anyone could take care of the horses anytime.
It also makes it a very nice, relaxed atmosphere. No drama, there is never mention of extra charges, etc, and we all pitch in at times, and watch out for each others horses.

It really is not rocket science. Everyone works together, drama is not tolerated. And we all respect each others privacy. When I board at farms where the BO lives onsite (which I prefer), I would never THINK of interupting them at home, unless it was an emergency, and even then would call. I also have never boarded at a place where there was anything other than a professional relationship between the Bo and their spouse.....in the barn. It is NOT appropriate to do otherwise, IMO. Even tho you may thin kit is "kidding" and funny, it may just be offensive to some and you are, of course, running a business, and supposedly a professional. That is NOT the image you seem to portray with the banter you posted. 

*You will be treated as you act. If you act professional, you will be treated as one. If you act a fool-well, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, I am afraid*.:wink:


----------



## Spyder (Jul 27, 2008)

starlinestables said:


> In fact, if it involves someone else I will tell them "Can I have a day or two to research it and think on it and then get back to you? I may post in a few forums and see what we can come up with."



And WHY would you even NEED to post on forums to solve a problem that came up. You don't have the confidence to resolve on your own? And what if that person requested an answer from you and specifically asked that you NOT to "go outside" to solve this problem?

A perfect example of how a simple thing can get totally blown out of proportion are these two scenarios both which I KNOW have happened in the past.

Scenarios one...

Owner is selling the horse online.

Horse has never had a soundness problem EVER. Horse steps on a rock and is a little sore for a couple of days. Vet called and said all is fine just give it a couple days off.

BO didn't like what the vet said and posted on a forum that now they have to feed the horse inside and messed up their routine. Someone asked and found out from the BO that the horse is off" and happened to know a person that was seriously thinking of buying/looking at the horse to buy. That person called the owner who repeated what the vet said, told her it was minor and what happened. The potential buyer wasn't going to even look at the horse until the following week ( when the horse would be back to normal) but cancelled out entirely because of the conflicting information.

The horse BTW was fine in 2 days and later sold.

Scenerio two.

Person has a stallion boarded as BO place. Stallion is very well mannered and never had a problem being boarded. Is a show stallion and regularly goes to shows with never any problems. BO has a 10 year old son and was allowed to feed and go in all stalls except the stallion's as they are not old enough to handle a situation that could arise.

Stallion hears a mare being lead into barn and gets a little excited. It has happened before and nothing has ever come of it. Son decides to go in stall to "tell stallion off". Son gets kicked by accident as son somehow gets to the back of the stall.

BO gets on the forums and goes about telling everyone that stallion is vicious and difficult to handle. Stallion's reputation that takes YEARS to build up is ruined with just one post.


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

Spyder said:


> And WHY would you even NEED to post on forums to solve a problem that came up. You don't have the confidence to resolve on your own? And what if that person requested an answer from you and specifically asked that you NOT to "go outside" to solve this problem?
> 
> A perfect example of how a simple thing can get totally blown out of proportion are these two scenarios both which I KNOW have happened in the past.
> 
> ...


Obviously situations arise that I handle just fine. Others I'd like opinions on.. simple as that. I don't know everything there is to know about running a boarding facility and I'm not above asking others for help. If I have a question that is too sensitive.. even I have the sense to post under another name or in different forums (I use several).

Both those scenarios can be avoided by not mentioning names which I haven't done.


----------



## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I'd like to ask a question.... 

Have you ever once changed your opinion on something you posted based on our opinions? 

You asked about cleaning stalls 6 days a week, the majority was horrified, you went ahead and did it. 

You asked about charging to walk a horse for (I forget) 20-40 mins while the owner got there - you never said what you did, that I recall. 

You asked about raising your board to pay for an indoor which I still don't think is built - if you raised your board, are you reimbursing your boarders for the money they spent while it is not useable? 

It seems to me that you ask opinions while coming to a post with your opinion formed. I think you want to hear opinions that agree with your own.


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

Alex... Great questions... I appreciate the follow up!

Stall cleaning 6 days a week - I did this and Its worked out well! If it rains on the day we leave out we just switch the day. If it rains all week we'll leave them out all weekend (owner approval of course). We were already kind of doing this.. just made it official. It's also common in my area so I went ahead with it.

Colic walking and late night holding for vet - I didn't charge but the late night vet holding but made it a point to tell all boarders that I've added an after hours fee. I also added an extra tid bit in my boarding agreement about assuming and extra charge for anything not listed in whats included.

Board increases for indoor - I put this off as long as I could but still had to raise board even though it wasn't done. I've also been more lax on other things (hay surcharges, charging for certain things that cost time, $2 a bag feed increases ect.) because the arena isn't done yet. 

I also raised my lesson prices to help but grandfathered in current boarders and clients for those services which is an idea I got from yall.

Paypal fees - I'm still accepting paypal but asking them to do a person to person transfer so we both avoid fees.

It's about 50/50.... hold my ground/give in.


----------



## Poseidon (Oct 1, 2010)

Wow. I would be ****ed if my barn charged me for every little increase in prices elsewhere, or for some kind of "after hours" charge. It is their job and it continues 24/7. Being a BO isn't something you can just clock out of on a daily basis. My barn certainly didn't raise boarding costs when the price of grain and hay rose significantly. Hell, my BO lowered my board just to keep me working for her on the weekends.


----------



## cakemom (Jul 4, 2010)

I will say we just had a discussion about hay/feed prices and I know the boarders are fixing to start having to pay some of that where we lesson. 
Not fair to expect the barn owner to eat that cost, in my opinion.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

Poseidon said:


> Wow. I would be ****ed if my barn charged me for every little increase in prices elsewhere, or for some kind of "after hours" charge. It is their job and it continues 24/7. Being a BO isn't something you can just clock out of on a daily basis. My barn certainly didn't raise boarding costs when the price of grain and hay rose significantly. Hell, my BO lowered my board just to keep me working for her on the weekends.


This is for when I (or the staff that I pay) have to hold a horse for 3 hours until after mid night while they get stitches because the owner has to do whatever the next day and can't make it out.


----------



## SarahAnn (Oct 22, 2011)

I don't have the history that apparently the OP, Spyder, and Alex have together. But I am kinda feeling bad about my original post on this thread. I didn't know it was going to turn into a bashing session. I would have been kinder. I know if all of this was being said to me- whether I'd admit it or not is another issue- my feelings would kind of be hurt. (Although from what I am reading the OP apparently "sets herself up" for this) but still... If you don't like her, don't respond. Life is too short to waste so much negative energy on each other. I am in no way taking sides... I am just attempting to make peace. I am also very prepared for complete failure... Ha.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

SarahAnn said:


> I don't have the history that apparently the OP, Spyder, and Alex have together. But I am kinda feeling bad about my original post on this thread. I didn't know it was going to turn into a bashing session. I would have been kinder. I know if all of this was being said to me- whether I'd admit it or not is another issue- my feelings would kind of be hurt. (Although from what I am reading the OP apparently "sets herself up" for this) but still... If you don't like her, don't respond. Life is too short to waste so much negative energy on each other. I am in no way taking sides... I am just attempting to make peace. I am also very prepared for complete failure... Ha.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Don't feel bad for stating your opinion. I didn't think you were too bad. I've had worse.. trust me :wink: You're more than welcome to go back and read my other threads...collectively I'm really not that bad. I promise.


----------



## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

SarahAnn, if I am being offensive, I will remove myself from all of Starlines conversations, it is not my intention to be hurtful, and I am not sure that I have been. And actually this might be the first time that Spyder and I have agreed on something.


----------



## SarahAnn (Oct 22, 2011)

Well, I'm not hurt. I suppose I stuck MY nose where it doesn't belong. I habe just been following the thread, and some of it I laughed at because it was honestly funny. But it also seemed like it went too far in some posts. If the OP is enjoying this bashing session then it doesn't really matter. Its not about me, so I apologize again for not minding my own business. I just like it more when I see people being nice to each other. Does that make sense?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SarahAnn (Oct 22, 2011)

starlinestables said:


> Don't feel bad for stating your opinion. I didn't think you were too bad. I've had worse.. trust me :wink: You're more than welcome to go back and read my other threads...collectively I'm really not that bad. I promise.


 I can take your word for it. I don't really think anyone is really "that bad." Everyone is different, and just because they don't agree with me, doesn't mean they're bad people. I am sure there is something that we agree on if we look hard enough. 

I have learned that not everyone can be the perfect, professional, reasonable, rational BO and horse owner that I am :wink: :wink:

Can sarcasm be picked up with just a couple of winky faces?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

SarahAnn said:


> Well, I'm not hurt.


I didn't mean that I was hurting you - I thought from your previous post that you thought I was hurting Starline and being a big mean poopy head. 

I guess I should start practicing my Elvis voice as apparently I break hearts all over the place.


----------



## SarahAnn (Oct 22, 2011)

Hahahahaha so it was a sad attempt to "save the day!" 

Maybe I'll be more successful at getting a laugh. Since you're being a poopy head:

Funny Horse Video - YouTube
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

SarahAnn said:


> I can take your word for it. I don't really think anyone is really "that bad." Everyone is different, and just because they don't agree with me, doesn't mean they're bad people. I am sure there is something that we agree on if we look hard enough.
> 
> I have learned that not everyone can be the perfect, professional, reasonable, rational BO and horse owner that I am :wink: :wink:
> 
> ...


I'm royally screwed if winky faces don't convey sarcasm.. lol


----------



## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

Hey Spyder, I'd like to send you a message, but I see you have them disabled, wanna send me one so I can reply to it?


----------



## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

starlinestables said:


> Alex... Great questions... I appreciate the follow up!
> 
> Stall cleaning 6 days a week - I did this and Its worked out well! If it rains on the day we leave out we just switch the day. If it rains all week we'll leave them out all weekend (owner approval of course). We were already kind of doing this.. just made it official. It's also common in my area so I went ahead with it.
> 
> ...


 
This sounds to me like "despite our agreement I will charge for whatever I want whenever I want.". A bit too subjective to me. I would never sign ANY contract with something that vague in it. THink about it-would you sign up for a bank account that says "we will charge fees for X, Y and Z, but will add anything else not included if we want."? Oh-and we may close on rainy days.....?:shock:

YIKES! Good thing you are a dressage barn AND far away!


----------



## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

Dressage10135 said:


> Well that sounds... professional.


That is what I was thinking.

My husband and I don't talk like that in front of our boarders. 

We even compete together and don't talk like that!!


----------



## Whisper22 (Jan 2, 2011)

I have come across other threads started by you, and I actually admire how well you keep your cool. I have seen threads go horribly wrong once the judging starts. 
You seem like a good person, I would board with you. I am not so stuffy that your humor would offend me either. I would rather have a BO like that than one who doesn't know how to have fun. As long as it's not your boarders who are asking you where something is, and your answer is up your butt and around the corner.

I board with family, so privacy is usually an after thought. Although sometimes I wish I could have more privacy, I enjoy the lax environment so much more. If I ever have to board outside of my families property, I hope I can find some place that thinks it's ok to make jokes every once in a while. A place that was all business and too serious would make me uncomfortable. How could I possibly be happy in a place I didn't have a fun connection with? Especially since spending time with my horse is supposed to be fun. I don't know, maybe that's just me.


----------



## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Whisper22 said:


> I have come across other threads started by you, and I actually admire how well you keep your cool. I have seen threads go horribly wrong once the judging starts.
> You seem like a good person, I would board with you. I am not so stuffy that your humor would offend me either. I would rather have a BO like that than one who doesn't know how to have fun. As long as it's not your boarders who are asking you where something is, and your answer is up your butt and around the corner.
> 
> I board with family, so privacy is usually an after thought. Although sometimes I wish I could have more privacy, I enjoy the lax environment so much more. If I ever have to board outside of my families property, I hope I can find some place that thinks it's ok to make jokes every once in a while. A place that was all business and too serious would make me uncomfortable. How could I possibly be happy in a place I didn't have a fun connection with? Especially since spending time with my horse is supposed to be fun. I don't know, maybe that's just me.


Just because we talk to each other respectfully does not mean we do not have fun or know how to take a joke. Not sure where you got that from. Also does not mean we are all offended by the "language" or inuendo. However, that does NOT make it professional. A certain measure of professionalism is expected by many of us when it comes to ANY business owners. BO's are NOT an exception. Just because they work in a barn does not mean they need to act like they were brought up in one.


----------



## sarahver (Apr 9, 2010)

One thing I have to say about Starline is that she takes all points of view very well, even though the overwhelming majority is against her most of the time.

What I am about to say is not meant to be offensive Starline but I am not sure how to phrase this in a way that it comes across politely. Here goes.

Sometimes I feel that you make these threads for a bit of attention and a bit of a thrill. This one is the perfect example. With a title like "Another thread about being a whiny barn owner" I really don't see any other way to interpret some of the off the wall stuff that you present to us. 

You KNOW that you have a 'following' on here, whether it is negative or positive and you KNOW how most people feel about your attitudes towards things, yet here is a thread you created basically opening up the floor for everyone to tell you that you are a drama queen.

So, in answer to your question: Yes. You are a whiny barn owner. You are one of a kind which makes you special. Mission accomplished.


----------



## Whisper22 (Jan 2, 2011)

franknbeans said:


> Just because we talk to each other respectfully does not mean we do not have fun or know how to take a joke. Not sure where you got that from. Also does not mean we are all offended by the "language" or inuendo. However, that does NOT make it professional. A certain measure of professionalism is expected by many of us when it comes to ANY business owners. BO's are NOT an exception. Just because they work in a barn does not mean they need to act like they were brought up in one.


I got that from the way you all pounced on the OP over the example she gave. I can understand talking to one of the boarders that way, but she was referring to an exchange with her husband for crying out loud. If they are fun, easy going people, that like to make jokes, who are YOU or anyone else to say that's wrong and insinuate she's a horrible business person. I for one would prefer to be around people like that, than people who take everything so seriously. 

If you wouldn't find the humor in her exchange with her husband, just because she's your BO, when it had nothing to do with you, I can only assume you're a stuffy person. Sad thing is, I think you would find it funny, but for whatever reason you choose to judge because that makes your time on here more interesting.


----------



## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Whisper22 said:


> I got that from the way you all pounced on the OP over the example she gave. I can understand talking to one of the boarders that way, but she was referring to an exchange with her husband for crying out loud._Right. In public and in her PLACE OF BUSINESS! The same place she is whining about a lack of privacy at! Do you not get that?_ If they are fun, easy going people, that like to make jokes, who are YOU or anyone else to say that's wrong and insinuate she's a horrible business person. _All comes down to time and place for everything. _I for one would prefer to be around people like that, than people who take everything so seriously. _I expect some professionalism in a BO, and INSTRUCTOR! I think that kidding around is one thing, but talking to anyone like that may not be the sort of mentor every parent wants for their child. She IS a teacher, right?:wink:_
> If you wouldn't find the humor in her exchange with her husband, just because she's your BO, when it had nothing to do with you, I can only assume you're a stuffy person. _No, you can only assume (and we all know about that word, right?) that I know the time and place for that sort of behavior. Typically not in a place of business (even if it IS a barn), and not infront of the world if you are concerned with privacy. _Sad thing is, I think you would find it funny, but for whatever reason you choose to judge because that makes your time on here more interesting.


THis is about Starlines Privacy. That is the title of the thread. If she wants more privacy, perhaps she and her spouse need to keep their playfulness at home and not in the barn.

Please do not presume to know what you might think I would find funny/entertaining/interesting. You certainly do not know me and have no place making any assumptions.


----------



## Poseidon (Oct 1, 2010)

The way I see it, say you were going to a job interview and you were sitting in the office of the interviewer when someone else walks in and has the same conversation with your interviewer as Starline and her husband. I don't know about you, but I would be extremely put off when hearing that in what I expected to be a professional environment. 

I am honestly not offended by somethings because my BM isn't exactly the world's most professional businessman. In fact, he might as well not have a professional bone in his body and I happen to be an easygoing person that is on friendly terms with him, so I am not bothered. However, there are several people at my barn that would be entirely offended, even more so if someone were to stop in and look at the barn, which has happened. 

Just my two cents.


----------



## Alwaysbehind (Jul 10, 2009)

There is a time and place for certain things.

An exchange like that is not appropriate at a barn that has kids as clients.


----------



## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

Alwaysbehind said:


> There is a time and place for certain things.
> 
> An exchange like that is not appropriate at a barn that has kids as clients.


Very true.

To the poster who mentioned a boarder being 'stuffy' because they found the exchange inappropriate - I find my boarders come to the barn to enjoy their horses, time away from the daily grind. Bickering in front of GUESTS - even though they pay - boarders are guests! - it is never appropriate and tends to make most polite folks uncomfortable.

Some of boarders enjoy a good teasing banter, some don't. I can't see any of them wanting to listen to my husband and I argue about who did what wrong.


----------



## Whisper22 (Jan 2, 2011)

mls said:


> Very true.
> 
> To the poster who mentioned a boarder being 'stuffy' because they found the exchange inappropriate - I find my boarders come to the barn to enjoy their horses, time away from the daily grind. Bickering in front of GUESTS - even though they pay - boarders are guests! - it is never appropriate and tends to make most polite folks uncomfortable.
> 
> Some of boarders enjoy a good teasing banter, some don't. I can't see any of them wanting to listen to my husband and I argue about who did what wrong.


And some people find stuffiness uncomfortable. If you don't like the personality of your BO, don't board there. Starline is not forcing any of her boarders to stay with her. Obviously people find comfort in different environments, and attacking the OP was completely unnecessary. Her example of her and her husbands bickering was hardly giving away their deep dark secrets. I enjoy boarding with family because it's an extremely laid back environment, and I like the interaction with other horsey people as much as I do with my horse, so being super professional would actually ruin that time I get to myself. I don't care if you agree with me, but don't tell others how they need to feel about it.

The OP was whining about herself. Because she is the way she is, there isn't much privacy, but she enjoys every other aspect of the work environment she has created. The nastiness is so not needed, but pretty expected, as I am aware their are some who just can't help themselves.


----------



## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Whisper22 said:


> And some people find stuffiness uncomfortable. If you don't like the personality of your BO, don't board there. Starline is not forcing any of her boarders to stay with her. Obviously people find comfort in different environments, and attacking the OP was completely unnecessary. Her example of her and her husbands bickering was hardly giving away their deep dark secrets. I enjoy boarding with family because it's an extremely laid back environment, and I like the interaction with other horsey people as much as I do with my horse, so being super professional would actually ruin that time I get to myself. I don't care if you agree with me, but don't tell others how they need to feel about it.
> 
> *The OP was whining about herself. Because she is the way she is, there isn't much privacy, but she enjoys every other aspect of the work environment she has created*. The nastiness is so not needed, but pretty expected, as I am aware their are some who just can't help themselves.


BINGO. She has created the monster. No need to whine about it. That is the bottom line.

I really don't think this is "nasty" as threads go, but it really gets a bit frustrating when people cannot see that they are causing their own issues, and then they want sympathy and they whine about it! Really not unlike the horse owners who wonder why pookie keeps kicking them after they told pookie it was naughty! And then **gasp** they even slapped them!


----------



## Whisper22 (Jan 2, 2011)

Whining? Yes. Wanting sympathy? I don't know about that. I guess there are those of us that read things for what they are, and those that read way to into it.

This thread wasn't entirely about her privacy. It was the ups and downs of being a BO. She admitted to being too open, but also said she loves what she does. I love how everyone expects her to be perfect or to just lie and never admit her faults. I didn't see this as a thread to start drama, but as a place for BO's to share. Others turned it into drama.


----------



## Beauseant (Oct 22, 2010)

I like this thread for two reasons:

I am glad everyone is picking on her and not me for once!!!:happydance:

secondly, it's an amazing day when i agree with franknbeans, Speed Racer, mls and sarahver!!! 


On a serious note: being the stuffy old goody two shoes I am, I would not appreciate the "around the corner" joke....nor would I appreciate my 10 yr. old grandson overhearing such a thing and asking me later "WHERE is up the butt and around the corner"......or worse, asking his TEACHER...and leaving me to explain to his teacher that he didn't hear such crude talk in my home....

IMO, it's tacky, crude, and lacks class....but as I said, I'm stuffy and middle aged.


----------



## Dressage10135 (Feb 11, 2009)

Beauseant said:


> I like this thread for two reasons:
> 
> I am glad everyone is picking on her and not me for once!!!:happydance:
> 
> ...


Don't worry, its not just a middle age thing. I'm in the same age group as her and even I found it really inappropriate. Call me stuffy if you want, but there is a time and place for joking around like that.. and the place you make your living ISNT it.


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

Whisper22 said:


> I have come across other threads started by you, and I actually admire how well you keep your cool. I have seen threads go horribly wrong once the judging starts.
> You seem like a good person, I would board with you. I am not so stuffy that your humor would offend me either. I would rather have a BO like that than one who doesn't know how to have fun. As long as it's not your boarders who are asking you where something is, and your answer is up your butt and around the corner.
> 
> I board with family, so privacy is usually an after thought. Although sometimes I wish I could have more privacy, I enjoy the lax environment so much more. If I ever have to board outside of my families property, I hope I can find some place that thinks it's ok to make jokes every once in a while. A place that was all business and too serious would make me uncomfortable. How could I possibly be happy in a place I didn't have a fun connection with? Especially since spending time with my horse is supposed to be fun. I don't know, maybe that's just me.


Thank you, I appreciate the compliments! And no.. we don't talk to boarders like that lol just each other. Honestly I'm not sure my husband knows how to communicate with me unless it's in south park or family guy quotes! We constantly give each other a hard time but we're also huggy and cuddly in front of boarders too.. (no we don't make out or anything like that though.. lol) Again, I should mention my husband and I don't see a lot each other to begin with so interaction in general is pretty minimal in front of boarders.


----------



## sarahver (Apr 9, 2010)

I want you to know Starline that I _do _think that the dialogue between you and your husband was funny. Sounds like how I talk to my close mates. I'm not always a huge fan of anal probe jokes but hey, I can see how it would be funny. I honestly think it's great that you and your husband can still joke and have fun with all of the stresses in your daily lives between running a business and having a small child if I remember correctly (?).

However, I would *never* speak like that in any type of work or professional environment under ANY circumstances and not for ANY reason. Especially around minors. I reserve that kind of humour and exchange for very private interactions and *I expect the same from others around me*. 

I am willing to accept that you have an entirely different personality to me; you are more open, more trusting, more happy-go-lucky and perhaps more naive (sorry). I think if you would understand that others around you DO make judgments based on your behaviour and the things you say, you would have less issues arising.

Of course we are all free to be individuals but at the same time we are expected to show some respect and decorum in certain situations. If you choose not to, then that's your prerogative but don't be surprised when some people are offended/shocked/baffled/surprised. As a business owner and teacher this is something that you may want to be more aware of.


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

The title was satirical because I have this reputation for hating my job as a barn owner and lack professionalism which is pretty hilarious when half of my posts are about how to make my business better. Its not for attention (if fact I'm sick of it which is why the privacy comment is there) lol... this thread was merely for entertainment. I was on bed rest and was like "I miss my barn and I'm sick of the pitty.. let's see how HF can turn that into me being a horrible person.. or for once we can all have a fun ***** fest on the trials and tribulations of horse ownership."

I love my job 85% of the time which is probably more than most. Yall would be surprised at how often I'm complimented on my professionalism! However, I have ALOT on my plate and have accomplished ALOT for 26 so that does come with some degree of cynicism.. ;o)


----------



## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

sarahver said:


> However, I would *never* speak like that in any type of work or professional environment under ANY circumstances and not for ANY reason. Especially around minors. I reserve that kind of humour and exchange for very private interactions and *I expect the same from others around me*.


This is was is sooo hard about the horse business. It is very unique and combines sooo many different ages and types of people. We're obviously more reserve around kids although I'm not completely innocent and have let a cuss word slip a time or two with-in ear shot.

A barn isn't the most professional place in the world. I try but I'm pretty happy with the atmosphere.


----------



## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

Okay, I'm not reading 9 pages of this, but read a few, skimmed the rest.

It was a whinge thread, and you whinged. Other people think it was unprofessional, or strange or whatever, its life, not everyone is going to agree with you.

Personally I have been at a yard where domestics from the YO where brought to the yard, it made the atmosphere tense and disruptive. Having googled your stables it would appear that the reviews are all positive so you're obviously doing something right, but as soon as I googled starlinestables horseforum.com also popped up, it doesn't take a genius to figure out how to read your threads. You may say you don't mind, but if I were a boarder at your stables I would be HIGHLY upset to read something like this. Its unprofessional. If you're going to post whiny threads moaning about your yard in what ever respect, at least have the sense to make up a weird username so no one can decipher it...


----------



## Alwaysbehind (Jul 10, 2009)

Whisper22 said:


> She admitted to being too open


This week. Because in the past she has stomped her feet and insisted she does not talk about her boarders on here, etc.


----------



## Beauseant (Oct 22, 2010)

This is rocket science, folks. it's plain and simple...at least it SHOULD be, but apparently to the OP and a few posters, this whole "up your butt" issue isn't registering.

Here it is, spelled out:

People have different ideas of what is acceptable and what isn't....due to upbringing, religious views or just their own personal sense of morality. 

*OP works with the public, therefore it is her RESPONSIBILITY to understand this and to adjust her own behavior and bantering to reflect that! In other words, the OP, due to her dealing with the public, needs to RESPECT others' views and sensitivities and to understand that they may not be the same as her own*...which means that her humor and/or behaviors must be adjusted while in in her place of business. In private, she should be free to speak or act as she sees fit.


*So to summarize: this whole issue is about a person who works with the public who needs to realize that people are different and have different ideas of what is moral or offensive and what isn't.....and to adjust her actions and words to reflect respect and consideration of this fact while dealing with her clientelle.*

It's as simple as that! RESPECT and CONSIDERATION of others!


----------



## Mike_User (Oct 24, 2006)

Hi guys,

A bunch of posts have been removed from this thread, and a few posts have been modified slightly to reflect that.

While it's clear that there are people who do not appreciate the way Starline Stables runs or discusses the running of her barn, the fact that she has boarders and that members have commented that they appreciate her posts makes clear that there are certainly those who do. I think Starline Stables' threads will be less likely to go off track in the future if we establish a few things. 

For starters, the Barn Maintenance forum is _for _people who maintain barns or deal with boarders to discuss and ask for advice regarding maintaining barns and dealing with boarders, or even to vent about the same if they are so inclined. So long as boarders or their horses aren't named, Starline Stables' discussing the running of her barn or experiences with her boarders is no more problematic than a member in the Horse Training forum discussing an issue with an anonymous horse trainer that could just as easily be a hypothetical.

While it's true that one of Starline Stables' boarders could come across a thread and recognize themselves or their horse as the boarder or horse Starline Stables is talking about, the decision of whether to take that risk is up to Starline Stables. Harping on the prudence of her decision, or how little you would like your barn owner discussing an issue she is having with you or your horse (even though you are kept completely anonymous), is entirely unproductive, and detracts from the discussion about the substantive issue at hand and tends to derail a thread completely. 

To be sure, I'm not suggesting anyone should not share their opinion about the substantive issue in an OP's post. However, so long as names are not named and a post could just as easily be about a hypothetical scenario as a real one, please reserve the "meta commentary" about your thoughts on whether a post ought to have been made to begin with, the fact that an OP may regularly post about issues with their boarders, etc., and instead respond substantively about the issue(s) the OP has posted about or not at all. 

Owning and operating a barn with boarders is undoubtedly a far different experience from boarding or even working at one, so it's entirely possible that people with different experiences and perspectives will find threads interesting, appropriate, or worthy of discussion that others won't. The Barn Maintenance forum encompasses discussion about the issues people who own or operate barns face with their barns and their boarders, so please don't criticize members simply for using it the way it is intended.

With that, I am closing this thread so this message is not lost among subsequent replies. If you have any questions or concerns, please start a thread in the Talk to the Team forum.

Thanks,
Mike

PS: To be sure, nothing I've said has been in reference to anything anyone has said about the way the OP describes running her barn. This post is about those removed posts condemning the OP for even discussing the way she runs her barn or the issues she has with boarders, both of which, as detailed above, are perfectly legitimate subject matters for discussion in the Barn Maintenance forum.


----------

