# "But I want a pretty horse..."



## gingerscout (Jan 18, 2012)

If Aries would be a bit smaller drafty he would be my dream horse.. I am a sucker for a black/white. I always wanted the flashier horse as well, 15-16 hands, had to be a gelding.. and no one was going to tell me otherwise.. we went and looked at 10 or so horses.. all were clearly not as described/ sick/ way too green for a green rider such as myself.. advertised as 15 hands+ when they were actually like 13..LOL. I had to learn the hard way, we started looking at other horses, and still couldn't find anything "flashy" that I would like.. I almost bought a leopard app, but didn't because he failed vetting and was older than advertised. I gave up on looking and that's when chance basically fell into my lap.. the only mare I have ever clicked with in any way, sorrel, very little flash, 15 hands on the dot.. and I am almost roberts size to a T but I have probably 10 pounds on him. so I CAN feel his pain.. and when I can afford it.. I still plan to have a black/ white gelding.. if it takes me 10 years to find one..:lol:


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## LadyDreamer (Jan 25, 2008)

There is bound to be a few good natured, beginner suitable paints or pintos out there. Good luck in your search.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

It might be offending his masculine pride to keep reiterating that he should look at a plain safe beginner horse. It's like telling him to eat at the kid's table at Thanksgiving because he doesn't know how to use knives yet. He's a man, so he has to fulfill that bulging muscled warrior charging into battle on the shining black stallion image. 

If I were handling this male, I would take a different approach.

1) Picture where his masculine macho warrior self wants to be and what knowledge that would require.

2) Ah me, I am but a feeble female, how grateful I would be to have such a brave warrior accompany me on introductory level riding activities.

3) If he likes it, and wants to take some lessons, as all squires must do before glorious knighthood, you can hook him up! 

4) If he is meh... he can get a really... really... sweet car for all the money we spend on horses, so why not just let him do that instead? 

I'm certainly not saying we women are feeble creatures, but it does come in very useful to play the part when a man isn't doing what we know he should be.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

See, Ginger, I don't see him giving in/settling. He's VERY stubborn when it comes to looks/perception. I'd love to find a perfect horse for him to learn on, regardless of color, and then when he has more experience and still wants to ride, getting him what he wants. 

Like I said, I got lucky with Aires. He could very easily have turned out like his half sister: stubborn and none-too-bright.

MM, you seriously made me chuckle with your post.

I'm not saying he HAS to get something plain. Not saying that at all. It would just make things easier and less of a battle if he would even consider a plain horse. 

As for trying out horse activities to see if he really likes it...well, I'll have to see what trail riding facilities we have around here. I only know of one for sure and there's no way on God's green earth we are going there. It's at the barn I used to board at and I know those horses. No way I would put Robert up on any of them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gingerscout (Jan 18, 2012)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> See, Ginger, I don't see him giving in/settling. He's VERY stubborn when it comes to looks/perception. I'd love to find a perfect horse for him to learn on, regardless of color, and then when he has more experience and still wants to ride, getting him what he wants.
> 
> Like I said, I got lucky with Aires. He could very easily have turned out like his half sister: stubborn and none-too-bright.
> 
> ...


 well first things first you have to find a barn to let him ride.. a beginner over 250 pounds is tough to find places to ride at.. believe me I had to look for a WHILE.. and I have never settled drafty.. I still plan to have my dream horse, I just realized that after 15 or so fails, that if I want to ride at all I have to take a horse that works for me.. and ignore the color.. I still like flash, but being able to ride any horse is better than no horse, and I haven't regretted buying chance for a second, as she tries really hard for me.. and actually puts up with my mistakes, as she does not like too many other people ( my wife included..lol)


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## 4horses (Nov 26, 2012)

I don't see why he can't find a pretty horse. If you look long enough or are willing to travel to look at horses you may be able to find what you want. 

My horse is a flashy paint. I only looked for a few months before finding her.


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## SummerShy (Aug 3, 2014)

But you said you're looking for in a couple years, right? (How come you're already on CL? lol tsk tsk that's never good!) But in any case, won't Aires be better broke in a couple years, by time you're ready to really buy? He could still be your fiance's horse by then and your flashy problem would be solved.

And honestly, I'd let him win this one. If he's this jazzed about riding even if he does have a preference then you're more lucky than a lot of horse wives I know  I think it's cute he has an ideal vision of what he wants out of a riding partner.


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## gingerscout (Jan 18, 2012)

you got to think for a flashy horse, in prime age, and size for a 6 foot 260 pound person, is narrowing the field quite a lot, and the ones like that usually bring a higher price tag, because owners know they are in demand


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

SummerShy said:


> But you said you're looking for in a couple years, right? (How come you're already on CL? lol tsk tsk that's never good!) But in any case, won't Aires be better broke in a couple years, by time you're ready to really buy? He could still be your fiance's horse by then and your flashy problem would be solved.


That's a super point. In a couple years, Aires will be a totally different horse!


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

Yes, Aires will be more broke, but that doesn't mean that Robert won't still be terrified of him. He has said more than once that Aires is just way too big and that he doesn't want something *that* big. And in another couple of years, Aires will be even broader, adding to his already intimidating size.

I'm all for letting him win this argument and get a flashy horse, provided that it's a SAFE horse. I just would hate for him to miss out on a wonderful perfect horse that he can learn from, simply because it isn't pretty enough.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tinaev (Dec 2, 2012)

I get the whole "pretty horse" thing, I really do. When I got Rio I was so thrilled, so so thrilled. But there was still a slight disappointment in the back of my mind that the skinny brown horse with no markings was the one meant for me. What about the gorgeous black and white horses I dreamed about as kid? Or the palominos? Or the haflingers? Or or or... Why out of all the horses did I have to wind up with the one kind I didn't want: solid, boring brown. Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring. 

Now that we are buddies I actually do see a lot of beauty in his face, but my horse will certainly never be a looker. In fact, the only comments people ever make are about how old he looks! It's ok, I am at the point where I wouldn't trade him for the world. I think once your boyfriend gets to that point, having a connection with his horse, he will realize the same thing we all know. That color really has nothing to do with choosing a horse.

You might even facilitate this by buying yourself another horse. You know, just the perfect type, size and temperament that your boyfriend happens to need. And maybe they just happen to wind up spending a lot of time together because you need help exercising two horses. Perhaps in due time you decide that it's actually his horse, since he does all the work with it anyway and has developed a connection with it. And after all, it is just the kind of horse he needs.....


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## KigerQueen (Jun 16, 2013)

Hey there is NOTHING wrong with Clist window shopping XD!!! I have found Many Snarky Rider worthy posts (and one leading to the rescue of a poor arab yearling!). You may not win. My fiance is stubborn with a Capital S! Just filter out the "plain" ones and find something he will look at.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

Tina, I've thought about that last part. I think it might be a good idea. I think doing groundwork would really help Robert's confidence around horses. I've gotten him to help me brush Aires once or twice, but every time Aires shifts or turns to look at him (and Robert is one of the few men that Aires genuinely likes), Robert panics. Luckily Aires is a gentle soul and just looks at him like "Whoa, dude. Calm yourself." in a very Keanu Reeves-esque surfer dude voice. :lol: 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CAP (Jun 18, 2014)

My husband did the same thing.. but he also wanted a baby so he could grow up with it :think:.. I tried advising his against it as I knew better, tried everything but he was being Mr. Tough guy saying he didn't need to know much cause he could just man handle her, I've brought up lots of babies so I knew what we were getting into so he got his pretty Palomino, we no sooner got her home and he realized he didn't like her cause she was a B which she was just displaying typical baby behavior didn't help any that she was an untouched weanling that wasn't even halter broke when we picked her up, then after a while he told me he wanted to sell her and get something broke he didn't want to deal with the baby, I of course didn't want to part with her cause now I liked her, so now that he had his palomino he wanted to get a grulla I tried finding one, with no luck and then our mare Tramp got posted for sale and asked him his thoughts he said he wasn't really a fan but she was alright and that was good enough for me and she's been great for him!


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## JCnGrace (Apr 28, 2013)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> Ok, so at this point in time, this is purely an academic discussion.
> 
> In a couple of years, when we're more financially stable, my boyfriend/fiancé wants to get a horse of his own. I think this is great. He rode a little when he was younger (mostly hopping on friends' horses and galavanting around the pasture for a minute) and rode saddle broncs in high school, but that was 20+ years ago. So, for all intents and purposes, he's an absolute beginner. Which is fine.
> 
> ...


 
Are you dating my husband?:shock: You already have my mare's twin brother.

Seriously, I was like WTH? when I was reading your post. All the bolded parts in the quote match except replace green with nuts. Maybe it's a Robert thing.

There are 4 horses out in the pasture that do nothing with his name on them (figuratively) because the first time they do anything wrong he's done with them and ready to move on to the next pretty/handsome face. DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! The worst thing is my Robert is old enough and experienced enough to know better.

Trying to tell them the right thing to do is impossible, you are just wasting your breath. I've found life to be more harmonious if I just let him make his mistakes. After all, the horses are quite happy to be pasture ornaments. Having a high maintenance man isn't easy.:lol:


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## SummerShy (Aug 3, 2014)

tinaev said:


> I get the whole "pretty horse" thing, I really do. * When I got Rio I was so thrilled, so so thrilled. But there was still a slight disappointment in the back of my mind that the skinny brown horse with no markings was the one meant for me. * What about the gorgeous black and white horses I dreamed about as kid? Or the palominos? Or the haflingers? Or or or... Why out of all the horses did I have to wind up with the one kind I didn't want: solid, boring brown. Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring.
> 
> Now that we are buddies I actually do see a lot of beauty in his face, but my horse will certainly never be a looker. In fact, the only comments people ever make are about how old he looks! It's ok, I am at the point where I wouldn't trade him for the world. I think once your boyfriend gets to that point, having a connection with his horse, he will realize the same thing we all know. That color really has nothing to do with choosing a horse.
> 
> You might even facilitate this by buying yourself another horse. You know, just the perfect type, size and temperament that your boyfriend happens to need. And maybe they just happen to wind up spending a lot of time together because you need help exercising two horses. Perhaps in due time you decide that it's actually his horse, since he does all the work with it anyway and has developed a connection with it. And after all, it is just the kind of horse he needs.....


That is EXACTLY how I felt when I got Arizona. She's as boring a color as they come and I'm surprised she even has a little star at all but she's my baby and she takes good care of me. 

Craig's Listing gets me in trouble! My mind starts going crazy and I want to start selling off my possessions to make funds for a new one... No bueno!


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## Eolith (Sep 30, 2007)

Honestly, if he's that skittish around Aires, I suspect that he'll still be intimidated by a stout 15-16 hand horse. It sounds to me like he just needs more "horse time" if he's serious about becoming involved with it. The more horses that he handles and spends time with, the less their size will matter. I manage a boarding facility with horses that are 14.3hh -17hh+ and honestly, I hardly notice the difference between them. I don't think about whether the horse I'm handling is 15 hands or 17 hands -- it's a horse and I expect them all to respond to me the same way.


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## Sharpie (May 24, 2009)

SummerShy said:


> That is EXACTLY how I felt when I got Arizona. She's as boring a color as they come and I'm surprised she even has a little star at all but she's my baby and she takes good care of me.
> 
> Craig's Listing gets me in trouble! My mind starts going crazy and I want to start selling off my possessions to make funds for a new one... No bueno!


I feel you, though I had an opposite experience. One serious concern in the back of my mind when I was buying Mr. Jayne (Red Dun with all the pretties) was that I *should* be buying a *plain* red or brown horse instead because pretty horses are nutcases who are getting by on looks rather than training and manners. I was VERY worried that I was letting looks overpower good sense... and since I knew nothing about buying horses and was going it alone, I knew the risk of falling in love and buying the wrong first horse was very real. (I know not all people think of duns as a special color, but zebra leg stripes get me every time.)

My man may or may not ever be up to wanting a horse of his own. He doesn't have the experience to be confident, and like most guys, doesn't want his inexperience to show or be known. Pride. Men and Pride. Bah! Lucky for me, he likes horses and is happy to help out, so that by itself is a huge thing. Maybe one day we'll get him riding, even if it is only an obligatory "duty ride" on my birthday or something.


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## KigerQueen (Jun 16, 2013)

Here look at this mare... maybe if she becomes 100% sound she may work for him. She is purdy XD!
Palomino mare broodmare &/or Light riding. Beginner & kid safe


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

If only we were in the market right now! I've seen her several times and drool every time. And of course, I show her to Robert and he falls in love. *facepalm*
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## haviris (Sep 16, 2009)

What I tell my nephews that ride with me is the better the rider the more choosy they can be (thankfully they're not to much, one likes bays, the other is a little flashier and likes red duns (1st choice) and buckskins (2nd choice)), so since you won't be ready to buy for a few more years my suggestion would be to get him some lessons. That will give him a chance to really see if he even likes it, and will help with his confidence, especially since, like the other poster, I'd be worried about the fact he's so intimidated by Aires, and am also willing to bet he'd be that way with almost any size horse (other then maybe a mini or pony which would never work for him).


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## jamesqf (Oct 5, 2009)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> Yes, Aires will be more broke, but that doesn't mean that Robert won't still be terrified of him. He has said more than once that Aires is just way too big and that he doesn't want something *that* big.


Then he has two years to lose about 60 pounds 

But I have to admit I'm puzzled by this thread. To me, the prettiest color for a horse is a dark bay, maybe with a small star & socks. (And I thought so long before I wound up with one as my first horse.) Paints are... Well, to be as polite about it as possible, it'd be like riding a Holstein. Not that I wouldn't appreciate them regardless of their looks, you understand.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

James, it's Aires' size that's the "problem," not Robert's. 

I'd be willing to bet that if Aires was a bay or a chestnut, that's what Robert would want.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

I can sympathize. The vain part of me loves flashy horses. A good horse is a good horse but I do so love the flashy ones! :lol: 

I agree with someone else who said it, butter him up. Whenever I have a male client looking for a horse who's like him I stroke their ego. "Here's a beginner safe horse, sir, oh he's a little challenging for me to ride so I think you'll be fine! I know you can handle a horse!" ;-) It usually helps if I just find a horse that works for them, then don't budge. Men can be stubborn but I can be 1000X more stubborn when I put my mind to it. 

See if you can't get him to ride first though, just to know he likes it and it isn't just a phase.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

Hmmmmm...thinking of taking him here next spring/summer: Horseback Riding in Prescott Arizona : Foothills Ranch 

Just to see if he likes riding. In the meantime (this winter), I might see if we can work on some groundwork with him and Aires, since Aires loves him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

I guess to me it depends on who he's worried about being judge by. If he wants to be judged by folks who actually _know _a **** thing about horses, then flashy means nothing. Whenever I look at a horse and rider, I look directly at how the horse handles and how the rider rides. It doesn't matter if they are riding a plain chesnut with a roman nose and big ears, if the horse handles nice, I'll approach them and straight up say "That's a dang fine horse you've got there".

However, they can be riding the most aesthetically beautiful horse in the world and if the horse isn't a decent riding horse, I just feel pity for the rider because they don't know/understand the true joy of riding a nice horse. Having folks tell you that your horse is beautiful doesn't mean a dang thing if you are hearing it with dirt in your mouth and/or broken bones.

Unfortunately, that's one reason why ignorance is so prominent in the horse world. Too many people worrying about what clueless people think of them and their horse. They want people to say "ooh, what a pretty mane" or "what a beautiful saddle" rather than "Dang, I wish my horse was that nice" or "Wow, I wish I could ride like that".


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## GreenBackJack (Feb 23, 2012)

Have you tried spray paint?

Seriously, I think you're picking the wrong battle here. You want him safe etc. but he's not hopping on a crazy paint any time soon. He's just oohing and awing at the flashy sports cars in the magazines. You've got plenty of time before Ol' One Eyed Willy Crazy Horse shows up in your driveway and plenty of time to focus on training Mr. Vanity Pants which is really the issue at hand. 
Drop the battle about the flashy horse and focus your energies on training him up to a better level so he has more options when the time comes to buy a horse. I'd also consider introducing him to some other breeds and selling him on their special attributes that will appeal to his ego. Baskir Curlys are excellent breeds for beginners and are rather exotic and rare which works toward his need for flash. 
Ok so he wants a flashy sports car but he doesn't even have his learners permit yet and you're not buying the car for at least a year. This is the time for Drivers Ed, not the time to argue about the paint job.


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## jamesqf (Oct 5, 2009)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> James, it's Aires' size that's the "problem," not Robert's.


Yes, I understood that. What I meant is that if he still weighs in the neighborhood of 260 lbs, then any horse that could carry him comfortably is going to have to be fairly big. I run between 190-200 lbs (at 6'), and doubt I'd be comfortable riding anything much less than 16 hands.


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

It must be the name. My first H was a Robert and I could have written what you have except exchange Paint for "white" Arabian.... which was essentially what I rode. He considered that the height of flash. It changed when one of the stallions that was rather difficult and very hard to handle became puppy dog like around him and was putty in his hands. Then it was CHESTNUT that was was groomed to shine like a copper penny that became his flash.


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## Clayton Taffy (May 24, 2011)

Handsome is as Handsome does!


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## Bellasmom (Jun 22, 2011)

My husband was the exact opposite of your BF. We originally looked at the mare in my avatar for him and his first comment was "she's too pretty....I'll look like I'm riding a Barbie horse!". I ended up getting her for myself (I have no issue riding a pretty horse)....he ended up getting a Harley.


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## ponyboy (Jul 24, 2008)

MaximasMommy said:


> It might be offending his masculine pride to keep reiterating that he should look at a plain safe beginner horse. It's like telling him to eat at the kid's table at Thanksgiving because he doesn't know how to use knives yet. He's a man, so he has to fulfill that bulging muscled warrior charging into battle on the shining black stallion image.
> 
> If I were handling this male, I would take a different approach.
> 
> ...


What a sexist post, LOL.


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## ponyboy (Jul 24, 2008)

Finace has the luxury of being picky right now because buying is still hypothetical. When he starts seriously looking, he may find that it's worth compromising on color. Or he might not, in which case he'll be horse shopping much longer.


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## luvmydrafts (Dec 26, 2013)

a couple of years is plenty of time to find a paint horse thats good for a beginner...everyone has their favourite looks and colours so i wouldn't worry...personally i like bays and blacks =) (not biased at all since mine are those colours...lol) horses with little or no white might be also less fuss cause of sunburn and stuff you got to worry about with horses with a lot of white...the skin can be more sensitive etc...so thats something for him to think about...


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## LadyDreamer (Jan 25, 2008)

How about his first car? Was it fancy and flashy?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

I gotta side with your boyfriend on this one Drafty. He's got a couple of years to find the right horse and since horses are not getting any cheaper to keep and actually are becoming more and more a luxury, I absolutely wouldn't settle for ANYTHING less than what I wanted. I'm pretty picky anyhow, I've been known to reject a horse because his ears were set too far apart, weren't tippy enough or were too long, so .... yeah, I'm picky too. In 2 years, if he started taking lessons tomorrow and seriously committed to them, he could be riding very well and not be in need of such a beginner's horse which, of course widens the pool for him.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

LD, right now he drives his dream vehicle. A 2005 Dodge Ram 2500 Cummins Turbo Diesel, quad cab, long bed, 4x4, on 20" chrome rims, with chrome accents on the rocker panels. It used to have graphics down the side, but he side-swiped a post and because they don't offer that graphics kit anymore (it came on the '05 special editions with the bigger turbo), he had his body guy strip the graphics off the whole truck. His first car, however, was a Pinto.

DA, I suggested lessons and the response I got was "Everything I need to know, you can teach me." Soooooooo not true, but I appreciate his vote of confidence. Like I said, totally am not against him getting flash. I just would like him to be open to *not* flash, in case the right horse comes along. I'd hate for him to like a horse and "click" with it, then say no just because it's a bay.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> LD, right now he drives his dream vehicle. A 2005 Dodge Ram 2500 Cummins Turbo Diesel, quad cab, long bed, 4x4, on 20" chrome rims, with chrome accents on the rocker panels. It used to have graphics down the side, but he side-swiped a post and because they don't offer that graphics kit anymore (it came on the '05 special editions with the bigger turbo), he had his body guy strip the graphics off the whole truck. His first car, however, was a Pinto.
> 
> DA, I suggested lessons and the response I got was "Everything I need to know, you can teach me." Soooooooo not true, but I appreciate his vote of confidence. Like I said, totally am not against him getting flash. I just would like him to be open to *not* flash, in case the right horse comes along. I'd hate for him to like a horse and "click" with it, then say no just because it's a bay.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



Tell him that if he wants your help in finding a totally cool flashy horse he's got to take lessons from someone else starting now. Tell him it's like daddy teaching daughter or son to drive, not a happy thing for the relationship.


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## KigerQueen (Jun 16, 2013)

You may have time for that mare. she has been on and off c list (same ad) for a bit. i would not touch her without a vet check but she is a nice stocky mare XD!


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> Tell him that if he wants your help in finding a totally cool flashy horse he's got to take lessons from someone else starting now. Tell him it's like daddy teaching daughter or son to drive, not a happy thing for the relationship.


You know, I was planning on starting dressage lessons this coming spring. Maybe I can see about getting him lessons at the same place/time...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## darkpony (Nov 20, 2013)

Drafty.. my boyfriend is the exact same way!! (although he started out on a old sorrel gelding) When his old boy passed away he started looking and would not look at anything plain. Hes not into paints/pintos but ended up with a very green green green 3 year old solid buckskin. He is GORGEOUS!!! but now he has somewhat lost interest and we have a deadhead green broke horse who happened to slide through the cracks because he is soo mellow. Hes pretty much a pasture puff now, and my boyfriend pulls him out maybe twice a year. 

When we were searching everthing I found was wrong for one reason or another so my advice to you would be let him choose his own horses to go out and see. let it be his idea. Who knows, he might click with one that isnt dead broke and it might be ok. Or he might see a few crazy paints and then decide you were right all along. If you force him to buy/look at something hes not that into he might resent you and his horse.


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## Mythilus (Aug 16, 2010)

My partner has his heart set on a taffy/silver dapple horse for himself, but he loves medieval history, so I just pointed out that knights rode bays or greys generally, he suddenly became MUCH more interested and wanting a horse in "Angel's colour" (bay).


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

At his size he will need to focus on a horse that can carry him. He's a big guy. There's a big difference between someone 200 lbs and someone 260, in terms of the horses that can carry him. About any horse can manage with a 200 lb rider, to some extent, but a 260 lb person will over stress a smaller ,lighter boned horse . I guarantee you that if a woman of the same weight were talking about wanting a horse based on the color rather than on finding one that can comfortably carry her, folks would be brining this aspect up more readily, rather than how to psych out your man by acting falsely helpless, (and I agree that was a sexist post).


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> You know, I was planning on starting dressage lessons this coming spring. Maybe I can see about getting him lessons at the same place/time...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's how I got my hubby to actually COMMIT to lessons. I started Western Dressage lessons and he didn't want to be left out. Now we go together and take a semi-private lesson, just the 2 of us and it's been awesome.


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## gingerscout (Jan 18, 2012)

tinyliny said:


> At his size he will need to focus on a horse that can carry him. He's a big guy. There's a big difference between someone 200 lbs and someone 260, in terms of the horses that can carry him. About any horse can manage with a 200 lb rider, to some extent, but a 260 lb person will over stress a smaller ,lighter boned horse . I guarantee you that if a woman of the same weight were talking about wanting a horse based on the color rather than on finding one that can comfortably carry her, folks would be brining this aspect up more readily, rather than how to psych out your man by acting falsely helpless, (and I agree that was a sexist post).


 now I am her husbands size.. and I mentioned early on that finding a place for lessons may take some work.. but everyone with the you need a draft stuff grinds my gears something fierce.. short/ stocky with short back and good bone.. that's what her husband needs not, a tall draft.. which is what automatically people say when a person our size is looking for a horse.. I have ridden anything from 14.2 horses to 17 hand horses in lessons, and my current mare is 15 hands, and stocky.. and after riding taller horses, I feel ,much more comfortable on a 15 hand horse, if you want huge horses fine by me.. but when anyone my size starts saying they want to ride.. its all oh your too big to ride most smaller horses.. ok, fine.. DON'T get a pony.. got it.. lol This is a huge reason why I don;t ride English.. seems to be a stigma that anyone over 200 pounds shouldn;t ride anything.. EVER


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> I just would hate for him to miss out on a wonderful perfect horse that he can learn from, simply because it isn't pretty enough.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well, that would be HIS problem, wouldn't it? If, when the time comes and he is better prepared to have a horse of his own, he decides he would rather wait and pay extra if necessary for his horse of choice, than so be it. You can't make horses that suit him just appear on the market. The most important thing is that the chosen horse is safe for him; beyond that, lots of people would rather wait for that dream purchase, then "settle" for something less.

It's sweet of you to be concerned, but he's a big boy and you have explained the situation clearly to him. How much say you have in it depends on how much responsibility you will have for the horse. If you have to look after the horse, work with the horse, etc. then it will depend if you are willing to take on the horse of choice at the time. If not, then he will have to live with his choices won't he?


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## gingerscout (Jan 18, 2012)

and my bad drafty I forgot you and Robert were not married, I called him your husband.. my bad


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## KigerQueen (Jun 16, 2013)

My fiance is 240 and was pushing 285 at one point. He owns a 16.2hh paint and a16.3hh old tb. his almost 30 year old tb gelding is his go to horse. if Rocket is having a hard time carrying him he has not shown it. Not even his dads 14hh navajo pony (who he has to hop on to remind her to STOP being a brat) can take him up a mountain without missing a step (event at 20 something, ornery old mare). Heck he has hopped on my 14.2hh egyptian arab (who is only 1050 lbs) and she carried on like he was not there (she was also being a brat and needed someone she could not dislodge to remind her to knock her crap off). You do NOT need a draft mix. not all cowboys are 5foot something and 180lbs soaking wet. Look at alot of ropers, they are not short men a lot of the time, the tollar the rider, the more he weighs. 260lbs is not a shocking weight for a rider at all.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

Northern, it becomes my problem when he won't ride the pretty, unsuitable horse he insisted on buying and I get "stuck" maintaining the horse (and possibly even training it). Plus, he's a huge softy (one of the things I love about him) and even if the horse was completely bat-crap crazy, he'd refuse to sell it on to get something more suitable because he'd feel bad. 

Ginger, no worries.  My entire family and most of my friends call him my husband...and we've had people asking us since we started dating how long we've been married. 

Kiger, a good ol' stock horse would be perfect for Robert. My best friend's 14.3hh QH mare is built like a brick house (even stockier than that gorgeous palomino posted earlier in the thread) and could carry him with ease. 

I'm a plus size rider. I'm 5'7" and 260#. So, I know what will work and what won't, size-wise. I happen to like big horses, which is why I have Aires. But, I could do just as well on a stocky 15hh horse as I do on my big 16.3hh tank. 

The criteria we would have for a potential horse for Robert would be:
-In the 14.3-16hh range
-Stocky with a short back
-Level-headed
-Quiet
-Well-trained
-Decently priced
And his requirement:
-Flashy

Doesn't sound like a tall order...until you get to the flashy part.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I didn't mean to derail the thread, I just could not help commenting on the way the same 260 lbs, in a male body , is not seen as much of a problem and they are open to get any horse, whereas a woman of that weight, people kind of look at her doubtful.], like should she be riding, even. I sure know how it is (being plus sized myself.


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## michaelvanessa (Apr 25, 2012)

*sexist post*

i feel about laughing about the sexist post.
may be i have a sence of heaumer but i could not stop laughing.
well i was going to give up horses when my old boy passes on but i had my arm twisted up my back and i got my horse.


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## ARTEMISBLOSSOM (Apr 3, 2011)

Drafty you said your boyfriend told you that instead of taking lessons you could teach him everything........ well how about finding a suitable horse and buying it just you know to teach him the basics and then selling it when he is ready to buy his flashy horse if he still wants flashy


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## Cielo Notturno (Sep 12, 2013)

In another board, there was a woman who wanted an argentine horse, and he must have been a gelding, and red roan, and exactly the kind of red roan as another horse that this woman had loved so much in the past. Other than that, of course she wanted temperament and training. No compromises. It would have been her perfect red roan or no horse. 

After a looooooooooong search, she found her perfect horse. I'm not against having preferences. I mean, you spend _a lot_ of time and energy on a horse. Why shouldn't you do it for a horse you like aesthetically? 

If he wants a loud paint, he can wait for the months or years that will take to find a loud paint who is big and calm and well trained and good with beginners and within your budget.


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## tinaev (Dec 2, 2012)

tinyliny said:


> I didn't mean to derail the thread, I just could not help commenting on the way the same 260 lbs, in a male body , is not seen as much of a problem and they are open to get any horse, whereas a woman of that weight, people kind of look at her doubtful.], like should she be riding, even. I sure know how it is (being plus sized myself.


I picked up on the same thing, Tiny. Pretty telling about our society.


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> Northern, it becomes my problem when he won't ride the pretty, unsuitable horse he insisted on buying and I get "stuck" maintaining the horse (and possibly even training it). Plus, he's a huge softy (one of the things I love about him) and even if the horse was completely bat-crap crazy, he'd refuse to sell it on to get something more suitable because he'd feel bad.


And that's why I provisoed with that it depends how much responsibility YOU will have for the horse ultimately. The above is what you need to explain to Robert. Trying to get him to change his mind about flash doesn't sound like it will be easy, if even possible, unless it comes from within him. If he recognizes that you will be the ultimate caretaker / trainer / exerciser and that you don't want to be saddled with that (potential) responsibility unless you also agree on the horse - well, maybe (maybe?) he will listen more carefully when the time comes. 

But still and all, if he wants to wait / pay for the perfect horse, he can wait / pay. It does sound like you should have veto power though, no matter how much flash the prospective horse has.


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## gingerscout (Jan 18, 2012)

tinaev said:


> I picked up on the same thing, Tiny. Pretty telling about our society.


 not always.. I don't judge the size of anyone riding a horse..(unless it is a person my size riding say a shetland pony.. or an adult riding a mini or something like that) I know I am not the skinniest person out there, and have had my share of hurtful comments from people.. so if they want to ride more power to them.. because if it happens to me, it probably has happened to them as well


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## jamesqf (Oct 5, 2009)

tinyliny said:


> I didn't mean to derail the thread, I just could not help commenting on the way the same 260 lbs, in a male body , is not seen as much of a problem and they are open to get any horse, whereas a woman of that weight, people kind of look at her doubtful.], like should she be riding, even.


I dunno about that... Maybe some people think that way, but I was the one to point out that 260 lbs (call it close to 300 with tack & all) is going to need a pretty big, sturdy horse to carry it. Doesn't really matter if the weight is male, female, or sacks of stuff on a pack horse.


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## evilamc (Sep 22, 2011)

When I was just shopping for a new horse my husband INSISTED on a "spotted horse". He was helping me pay for the horse so I figured if I could find what I wanted and he wanted to pay that extra bit to have color he wants then we would. Hes a little upset that my new horse isn't black and white pinto colored but brown and white, with a little black...but it was the closest I could find while meeting my criteria too lol! Great horse, I probably overpaid a little...well husband did....but he insisted.


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## its lbs not miles (Sep 1, 2011)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> Ok, so at this point in time, this is purely an academic discussion.
> 
> I'd like to get him something at least 15-16hh and big boned, as he's a big solid guy at 6' and 260#. The majority of the suitable horses I've found are "plain" bays, chestnuts or greys, sometimes with some chrome.
> 
> ...


(I'm not going to read all the posts)

So you are addressing two issues. Boyfriends size vs horse size and his desire for what he deems to be a "flashy" horse.
1. IF he rides as much as 90% of the people in the US who ride then you really have a broader spectrum of horses sizes that will work. Most people average 2 or 3 days a week at most and generally only a couple hours when they do ride (minus the odd weekend trip for trail riding that some people do a few times a year...maybe). Under those conditions most horses have enough "down time" to recover from the chemical changes that happen from working under too heavy a load. That's why many people have misconstrued perception on what constitutes "too heavy". Now if he falls on his head and suddenly takes up long distance riding (not endurance...that's racing not long distance riding) then the size will matter, but it's more than just "big bones". Ideally (as ideal as it can get for the horse..which nature did not design to be ridden) the horse will need cannon bones of the proper size and density, wide loins and a total weight load of about 20% (and a short back is preferable). But none of that is likely to be an issue in this case so there should be a great many horses that should be sufficient for him to ride.

2. Flashy. A rather subjective concept. Exactly what does he think is flashy? Flashy isn't defined by color so I'm not sure what his criteria is. There are a great many horse breeds that are considered to be flashy. The "Gypsy" breeds are almost universal considered flashy (with the heavy mane, tale and feathering, but most breeds with those are seen as flashy). Along with Clydesdales, pretty much any of the classical Baroque breeds (Friesians, Andalusian, Lipizzaner, etc...), ASB, TWH, etc, etc, etc. There's no shortage of "flashy" horse breeds. So what exactly his he calling a "flashy" horse. See if you can find him a Drum horse. They tend to be a flashy, level headed, heavy riding horse (generally 15 and 16 hand range with a lot of mane, tail and feathering). He'll look real fancy prancing around on one :lol:.

Wanting a "flashy" or "pretty" horse is actually quite normal. If we are all honest about it we all want a horse we find attractive. Just like we want a partner that we find attractive. People often seem to lose track of that, because what ever horse they get becomes beautiful to them (or at least attractive....worst case it's so ugly it's cute :lol. Months ago I came across a photo of the first horse I personally owned. I remembered her as a beautiful QH who did it all (worked cattle, hunted game, rode long distances). When I saw the picture I realized that she was probably one of least attractive (esthetically) horses I've ever owned (although she still did do it all). She was beautiful, because I saw her that way and remember her that way, but if I'd put her next to most of the horses I've owned (especially the two I have now) anyone else would think she looked pretty sad by comparison.

I wouldn't lose sleep over your boyfriend wanting a flashy horse. There are so many horses out there that I'm sure there are some flashy ones which will meet the rest of the requirements.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

Flashy to him is a horse that looks like my gelding. Loud pinto with striking markings. I will say that he did like that palomino mare posted on the second page.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## its lbs not miles (Sep 1, 2011)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> Flashy to him is a horse that looks like my gelding. Loud pinto with striking markings. I will say that he did like that palomino mare posted on the second page.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Ok, this is NOT a sales pitch, but I think your first goal will be to get him to open his mind and broaden his horizon a bit (ok...more than a bit....a LOT :lol. He wants a flashy horse so he'll look good riding it. That's understandable. I think he needs to get a grip on what people are going to think looks good. So let's tackle his biggest misconception (that being a paint makes a horse "flashy"). Movement and bearing have a LOT more to do with being "flashy" and making the rider look good than color.

So have him look at this clip. While I'm in no way advocating that he should get a Friesian, this should open his eyes to the fact that being fancy has nothing to do with color. A solid color can have every bit as much "flash" and "look" as any paint. If seeing these horses doesn't open his eyes to that then you need to take him up on top of the house (and drop him on his head....it might help :lol

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/Y5XJbSqwriM?rel=0


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## its lbs not miles (Sep 1, 2011)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> Flashy to him is a horse that looks like my gelding. Loud pinto with striking markings. I will say that he did like that palomino mare posted on the second page.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You can assure him that if he gets a horse that moves like those Friesians (or many other horses that have that sort of bearing...almost any Baroque style of horse) he'll look good and be the envy of most of the people he might ride with.
I know I have people stop and stand at my fence just to watch my two "high stepping" around the pasture (and it makes a girls day when I throw a saddle on Val and let them ride her some). I've had people thrilled just to be able to sit on them to get some pictures and it's all because they have presence and bearing. They are "flashy" (and they're one color...except for a little white on their face).


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## jamesqf (Oct 5, 2009)

its lbs not miles said:


> Most people average 2 or 3 days a week at most and generally only a couple hours when they do ride (minus the odd weekend trip for trail riding that some people do a few times a year...maybe). Under those conditions most horses have enough "down time" to recover from the chemical changes that happen from working under too heavy a load.


I dunno about that, either. Maybe horse physiology works differently than human, but a human doing heavy work once or twice a week, and nothing in between for conditioning, is asking for trouble. Search on "weekend warrior syndrome".


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## PaintHorseMares (Apr 19, 2008)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> Flashy to him is a horse that looks like my gelding. Loud pinto with striking markings. I will say that he did like that palomino mare posted on the second page.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


There are plenty of good, loud Paints out there in the world. Our yearling, Buckshot, will be ready in a couple years ;-)


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## Cynical25 (Mar 7, 2013)

I like pretty horses, too. There are enough horses out there that I will take the time to find The Whole Package and not settle for Good Enough (same for human partners, furniture, and party dresses, lol.) 

Settling often leads to regret and what-ifs. And you could end up out more time & money in the long run after getting rid of the item you settled for and restarting your search for what you really wanted in the first place.


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## jimmyp (Sep 5, 2013)

Well..... you could do what my wife did. Let him buy the **** horse he wants and then its HIS baby.

Men are, well...... we are dumb. No matter how humble or sensible a guy is we all have certain areas in our life where it is important that we be.... well, its important that people look at what we have with longing. For some men its their vehicles, for some men its a boat, and for some men it is the woman on their arm.

Oddly enough the guy who bathes every three days will wash and wax his truck 3 days a week. The guy who lives in a $200 trailer has a $30k fishing boat, and your fiancé wants a pretty horse. I am guilty my self. I do won a rather plain bay, but he is a true work horse. My go to "going out" horses are an arrogant big black walking horse and a super flash dappled gray, with all sorts of chrome Paso mare. Neither is a sensible choice of horse for most people, but they are both lookers. My bay is a go anywhere do anything kind of horse i would put my 2yo daughter or my grand mother on, but he just doesn't scream "Look at me!" 

Just one mans humble opinion

Jim


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## its lbs not miles (Sep 1, 2011)

jamesqf said:


> I dunno about that, either. Maybe horse physiology works differently than human, but a human doing heavy work once or twice a week, and nothing in between for conditioning, is asking for trouble. Search on "weekend warrior syndrome".


it's not much different. The point of the statement is that test show a horse at a proper weight for it's size, carrying 25% of it's body weight and working for 30 minutes starts having negative biochemical changes. After resting for a set number of hours the level return to normal with no real adverse effects on the animal. At 30% of it's weight the effect are greater (and so on and so forth) and require a long period of recovery time. Conditioning does not alter the these changes. It only makes the animal better prepared for dealing with them. Just as with a marathon runner. They can train for a decade. The cardiovascular system and respiratory system can be honed to perfection, but the biochemical effects don't change and no matter how hard they train they WILL "hit the wall" miles before they finish the race. In the case of horses it's not the distance that will break them down the quickest. It's the extra load in excess of 20% (and naturally 15% is better). But I digress :lol:

The point was (and is) that the number of riders that do any significant amount of riding is so extremely small (as a percentage) that they extra weight that horses are commonly called upon to bear does not create significant (if any) problems since the horse has ample time to recover before it's called upon to do it again. Those that are will break down, but it's far more common for horses to break down as a result of improper diet, foot care, etc.....


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## jamesqf (Oct 5, 2009)

its lbs not miles said:


> Just as with a marathon runner. They can train for a decade. The cardiovascular system and respiratory system can be honed to perfection, but the biochemical effects don't change and no matter how hard they train they WILL "hit the wall" miles before they finish the race.


So by that logic, your average couch potato should be able to just get up and run a marathon, no?

Or if we want to consider weight carrying rather than endurance, I should be able to put 50 lbs (about 25% of my body weight) in a backpack, and go out for a long backpacking trip without first doing some training to get in shape for it? (I admit that I have done this, back when I was young and somewhat foolish, but the first few days weren't fun at all. By the start of the second week, I hardly noticed the pack at all, and when I got home, a normal step would have me bouncing 6" in the air.)

As for the 30 minute rides, how many people actually do that? I may only be able to ride once or twice a week (and sometimes not at all if my buddy wusses out 'cause it's a bit chilly), but 3-4 hours or more is normal.


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## GreenBackJack (Feb 23, 2012)

My understanding of what lbs not miles is saying is that the average domestic horse and rider have a bit more leeway to be out of balance in terms of weight/strain on the horse. He is not saying the horse or human can be a couch potato and just up and run a marathon as long as he has a few extra days to recover. But rather that a reasonably fit horse can handle the extra strain of a heavier load on occasion but not on a regular routine for extended hours. 
If a horse is going to be expected to handle a load that is too heavy for it's build and fitness level then the animal is not going to do well over time. 
So yeah, big ol' cousin Bubba Jugs can hop on Little Willie quarter horse a couple times a week and he'll manage to survive just fine but put Mr. Jumbo pants on him every day for hours at a time and Little Willie is going to have some problems. 
Just my take on how lbs post read to me.


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## DreaMy (Jul 1, 2014)

Just going to reiterate: pretty is sooooo subjective, I would a million times over rather a bay/sorrel/grey over a paint/pinto but maybe I'm weird.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

DreaMy said:


> Just going to reiterate: pretty is sooooo subjective, I would a million times over rather a bay/sorrel/grey over a paint/pinto but maybe I'm weird.


There are a lot of people who don't like Robert's truck. They think it's too big/loud/wasteful/whatever. He, however, loves it and it is something of a status symbol to him, never mind that he's used it to really haul something once and it costs as much to get a quarter tank of fuel in it as it does to fill my car's gas tank completely. Same goes for the theoretical horse he wants. If HE thinks it's pretty/flashy, then he thinks that other people will see it the same way (trust me, he and I have had this conversation before).
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## its lbs not miles (Sep 1, 2011)

jamesqf said:


> So by that logic, your average couch potato should be able to just get up and run a marathon, no?
> 
> Or if we want to consider weight carrying rather than endurance, I should be able to put 50 lbs (about 25% of my body weight) in a backpack, and go out for a long backpacking trip without first doing some training to get in shape for it? (I admit that I have done this, back when I was young and somewhat foolish, but the first few days weren't fun at all. By the start of the second week, I hardly noticed the pack at all, and when I got home, a normal step would have me bouncing 6" in the air.)
> 
> As for the 30 minute rides, how many people actually do that? I may only be able to ride once or twice a week (and sometimes not at all if my buddy wusses out 'cause it's a bit chilly), but 3-4 hours or more is normal.


Try reading what I said without interjecting something different.

I said nothing about couch potatoes running a marathon. I said that no amount of training or conditioning is going to prevent certain effects. It may help deal with them, but it doesn't prevent them.

Now back to the horses.
Back around 2007? OSU did a study on the impact of weight carried by horses. If you can find a copy read it. Basically they discovered that the old Cav recommendations were correct (even if they didn't have the scientific reasoning behind it).
I found a short mention of it on the Journal of Equine Veterinary Science online. They only comment on the results though.

http://www.j-evs.com/article/S0737-0806(07)00413-3/abstract

So basically IF your horse is healthy and of sufficient size so that the weight of you and your gear is around 20% or less of it's weight then there will be no appreciable impact on the horse. If the weight is in the 25% + range than there is an impact. However, since you only ride on the weekends (we'll say you average 10 hours which is more than most people do) then even if your horse is carrying 30% of it's weight (and has good cannon bones and wide loins) you're still giving it 5 days to rest and recover. Granted that if the weight is up then it's "paying the price" on Sunday after a long ride with insufficient recovery time, but it will have recovered before you start again the following Saturday.

If the weight you horse is carrying is 20% or less than it could actually keep going for more days without the same impact or as much recovery time.

Actually a lot of people only average about 30 minutes a day. Many only ride 2 or 3 days a week and only for about an hour or two each day (that breaks down to about 30 minutes a day...even less). Now why they are shelling out the money to keep a horse for no more riding then they do is puzzling, but that's not my call. Their money and their time so it's their business.

Even long distance riders realizes that keeping the weight low is what allows us to ride those distances without breaking down our horses, but even at 20% we still need to give the horse time off (in my case I try to give them 2 days off after a 100 mile week), because there is still going to be a need for them to rest and recover. However, the average rider (which you actually fall into that group), while they might make a heavy weight demand on their horse (which is what the OP was obviously getting out with regard to the size horse she wanted to get for her boyfriend due to his size), they don't tend to make it often or for most of the week. Thus giving the horse time to recover.

Now I state what's more common for most riders and not people like me who fall way outside the normal riding habits and make up a very small part of the riding population. Most riders can get away with more than we can, because we make greater demands on our mounts so the margin for error is smaller (or we and our horses pay for it).
Normally I ride two horse and each one averages around 3-6 hours per day, 10-20 miles per day (there are long rides, but not typically), generally 3 days a week for each of them. Then "I" get a day off :lol:, because as much as they might need recovery time, after 20-30 hours in the saddle most riders enjoy a day off every bit as much as the horses do.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

its lbs not miles said:


> Actually a lot of people only average about 30 minutes a day. Many only ride 2 or 3 days a week and only for about an hour or two each day (that breaks down to about 30 minutes a day...even less). Now why they are shelling out the money to keep a horse for no more riding then they do is puzzling, but that's not my call. Their money and their time so it's their business.


'cuz It's fun. Sometimes I just go out to brush him and feed him treats and take him for a walk and jabber nonsense at him for an hour. No riding, just lots of nose kisses and talking and hugs. He hugs back


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## Luvs Horses (Jan 9, 2014)

michaelvanessa said:


> i feel about laughing about the sexist post.
> may be i have a sence of heaumer but i could not stop laughing.
> well i was going to give up horses when my old boy passes on but i had my arm twisted up my back and i got my horse.
> 
> View attachment 548818


 
Wish I could double like this pic. Tooo adorable. :wink:


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## Luvs Horses (Jan 9, 2014)

Get him what he wants; but, tell him he has to earn the flashy horse by taking the dressage lessons with you this spring as a couple thing. :twisted: :wink:

We all have different tastes; that is what makes it fun being who we are. 
I love the flashy horses too; but, the color of that flashy horse may change to me. 

Sorrels are an average/common color; however, I have seen some sorrel horses that just pop out from the crowd. I think it is a combination of good confirmation, movement, coat condition, color, and that well cared for shine that shows the horse has a caring human that loves it. 

Same with brown horses, you see a lot of them but certain ones just pop out of the crowd more.


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## Tazzie (Nov 8, 2011)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> DA, I suggested lessons and the response I got was "Everything I need to know, you can teach me." Soooooooo not true, but I appreciate his vote of confidence. Like I said, totally am not against him getting flash. I just would like him to be open to *not* flash, in case the right horse comes along. I'd hate for him to like a horse and "click" with it, then say no just because it's a bay.


I haven't finished reading the thread, but this sounds JUST like my husband!! He REFUSES to get lessons. I gave up, and just began working on what basics I can instill in him. He is at the opposite spectrum though. He has NO fear regardless of the size. He is invincible. Both the barn owner and me want to see him fly off just once. Not to get hurt, but to make him realize he isn't invincible.

Also, he wants the flash too. Aires would be exactly what he would want! I'm more of the "let's find a beginner/husband safe one..." and he has a fit! Lucky for me, we have two kids... Now I just say "let's find a horse for you to enjoy that the kids can also enjoy and that I can use when we have company that wants to ride. Then later, we'll start the search for your 16+ hand black and white possible draft cross paint." We are a few years away from adding a new horse to our ownership, but I think I finally have him convinced we need a family safe horse for the kids that he can enjoy while we search for his dream horse :lol:


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Part of the problem may be that he doesn't feel like he has too much say in the decision, though I'm sure that's not the case from your point of view. Think about it this way: He shows interest in getting a horse. You say "Wow, that's fantastic! I know exactly what you need... a stocky horse in the 15-16hh range, bombproof, completely beginner safe. I'll get on that!!" It's completely reasonable... you know a ton more about horses than him and you know his limits size and ability wise. The appearance may be something for him to latch onto as his contribution to the decision. 

Of course, I may be wrong and he may just want a flashy paint. If so, that's his business. I'm of the "a good horse isn't a bad color", but I certainly have my preferences. It sounds like you're in no huge hurry to buy a horse, so oblige him. When the time comes to start casually looking then just start showing him pictures of all horses that sound suitable. If he doesn't like them, then he doesn't like them. It's his horse, so it's his choice. You'll eventually find a suitable horse that also suits his tastes. It may take 3 times as long as if he was looking at "boring" horses, but you want him to be happy and proud of his horse. There are plenty of kid safe paints out there, so I'm sure you'll find one of them someday. 

My guess is that given enough time he will grow a little more partial to the more "boring" horses. He already showed an interest in the bald faced palomino, so that's a step in the right direction. If his personality is anything like my father then one day he'll say "What do you think of this one?" You'll come over to look and see a chestnut with a stripe and two white socks :lol: But, maybe not. His choice. 

I'd insist on not settling with regards to training, ability, and temperament, though i'm sure you know that. Don't let him try to convince you to get something that isn't suitable because he thinks it's pretty. 

All of that said, I agree with a few others that a paint wouldn't be my first choice. I think that some paints look quite nice, but not my cup of tea. My idea of a nice flashy horse is a nice blaze with some leg markings :lol:


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## Shoebox (Apr 18, 2012)

I didn't read all the replies, but here's my two cents. I like flashy horses too. I want a flashy horse. I want my next horse to be a blue roan or an appy. I think as long as he's not sacrificing anything to get the color (like conformation or training) I don't see a problem - as long as he's willing to wait for one to come along, which might be a long time! 

It's the same reason I don't mind people choosing a stud for color. As long as you make sure everything else is in order - conformation, training, complementing your mare, etc etc - there's nothing wrong with going for color as well!

I hope you two do manage to find what you want.


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## TwoPoint (Dec 3, 2014)

Have you explained that breeders and in-hand showers make up the bulk of the equestrian population looking mostly for color? If he knows that, he may relent. Tell him it's highly unusual to choose for color, and that he may end up in the hospital if he chooses a "pretty" horse that turns out to be green as spring grass. Also, try emphasizing that if all he's going to do is look for a colorful horse instead of a practical one, then he may not even be a good candidate for the activity; that if he's going to do something unsafe by buying a pretty greenie, maybe he doesn't have the responsibility and patience to be in this sport.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

I've actually mostly won this argument now, TwoPoint. He started working at a feed store and so has been wanting to learn more and more about the basics of horses. He's now willing to look at the whole horse conformationally and see color secondarily. He's started to see the beauty in a nicely put together brown versus a poorly conformed colorful horse. He now has a favorite color (buckskin, like me :lol: ), but now when we drive by the small herd turned out in the pasture on our way to work, he's started pointing out the plainer colored horses and commenting on their faults and good points.

He also understands more about the importance of training and has agreed to take lessons. Now, the problem might be finding a horse for him to take lessons on. :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rainaisabelle (Jan 2, 2015)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> I've actually mostly won this argument now, TwoPoint. He started working at a feed store and so has been wanting to learn more and more about the basics of horses. He's now willing to look at the whole horse conformationally and see color secondarily. He's started to see the beauty in a nicely put together brown versus a poorly conformed colorful horse. He now has a favorite color (buckskin, like me :lol: ), but now when we drive by the small herd turned out in the pasture on our way to work, he's started pointing out the plainer colored horses and commenting on their faults and good points.
> 
> He also understands more about the importance of training and has agreed to take lessons. Now, the problem might be finding a horse for him to take lessons on. :lol:
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


At least its something!


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## Horsef (May 1, 2014)

Are paint horses considered to be "pretty"? Strange, in my neck of woods they are considered "plain" and a horse "should" be a nice solid brown! Go figure...


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

The title of this thread made me laugh. I always joke around and ask my non-horsey girlfriend if she'd like "a horse like that" if I see one that catches my eye. She usually replies with "no, that one is to pretty". In her mind she equates pretty with mean and untrained :lol:, so she says she wants the ugliest one I can find!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Textan49 (Feb 13, 2015)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> I've actually mostly won this argument now, TwoPoint. He started working at a feed store and so has been wanting to learn more and more about the basics of horses. He's now willing to look at the whole horse conformationally and see color secondarily. He's started to see the beauty in a nicely put together brown versus a poorly conformed colorful horse. He now has a favorite color (buckskin, like me :lol: ), but now when we drive by the small herd turned out in the pasture on our way to work, he's started pointing out the plainer colored horses and commenting on their faults and good points.
> 
> He also understands more about the importance of training and has agreed to take lessons. Now, the problem might be finding a horse for him to take lessons on. :lol:
> _Posted via Mobile Device _


 I hope you didn't have to hit him in the head too hard to knock some sense into him. If he wants his own horse in the future he should be developing his riding now and that means lessons somewhere since you don't have something for you to teach him on (bad idea even if you did) Good that he is learning about conformation. A flashy colored horse with poor confirmation and way of going is NOT going to impress anyone who knows something about horses. What will impress people is a good rider on a suitably sized horse. I have a thing for Paints myself since my mom and uncle rode them, my favorite horse from the past was one, the first colt we raised and trained was one, and so on. What do I have now? A bay ! I think once he starts lessons his attitude might change even more. Good to hear that that you have made some progress.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

I'm going to have to talk to the trainer that I was going to take lessons from at my barn. My fiance wants to take lessons with me, so I'll have to see if we can find a horse for him to ride at the barn (he's 6' and probably around 220# now...he's lost a lot of weight since starting his new job). My gelding is too green to be suitable for him to ride, or else I'd just let him ride Aires and we'd find something else for me temporarily. 

He did spend some time just grooming Aires a few weeks ago while I sat on the mounting block in the middle of the round pen. Not surprising that my "I hate men" 6yo absolutely adores my fiance. :lol: I'm still the momma, but my fiance is a solid second choice for him. It did make my fiance much more comfortable with Aires, though, which is good. He even had him standing still, completely unrestrained, to be groomed, which is quite a feat.


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## Textan49 (Feb 13, 2015)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> I'm going to have to talk to the trainer that I was going to take lessons from at my barn. My fiance wants to take lessons with me, so I'll have to see if we can find a horse for him to ride at the barn (he's 6' and probably around 220# now...he's lost a lot of weight since starting his new job). My gelding is too green to be suitable for him to ride, or else I'd just let him ride Aires and we'd find something else for me temporarily.
> 
> He did spend some time just grooming Aires a few weeks ago while I sat on the mounting block in the middle of the round pen. Not surprising that my "I hate men" 6yo absolutely adores my fiance. :lol: I'm still the momma, but my fiance is a solid second choice for him. It did make my fiance much more comfortable with Aires, though, which is good. He even had him standing still, completely unrestrained, to be groomed, which is quite a feat.


 I think some of what you thought would be a problem was him saying something being inexperienced and before giving it careful thought, and guys can be stubborn once they have said something. The lessons are a great idea. They will certainly prepare him for his own horse as far as his riding ability goes and also help him realize that the best suited horse can come in any color and does not have to be the best looking. There still is nothing wrong with having a preference about looks or color and hopefully when he is ready he will see his preference as "the icing on the cake" after the other requirements have been met. Great too that he has his bond with Aries.


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