# Need Advice re: Adult Starting Lessons



## Kestra (Aug 14, 2011)

Hi, This is my first post here. I've been lurking for a while, trying to learn what I can. Seems like lots of knowledgeable people here. Hope I can participate in the forum in general, and specifically get some opinions on picking a riding school/instructor.

I'm currently a non-rider/non-horse owner, but want to try riding again. Just to give my background briefly, I had 3 lessons when I was 15 and about 3 when I was 21. I'm now 34. My previous attempts didn't work out - first place was completely unprofessional and unsafe for a beginner. Second place was better, but I felt they weren't giving me the individual attention that I wanted (too hot horse, cantering third lesson) and I wasn't learning or having fun. And at that age I was pressed for time and money, so I stopped. Maybe if I'd kept going things would have improved, but that was a long time ago. I can't remember all the reasons I quit but basically felt I wasn't getting my money and time's worth.

So here I am now. I'm quite a different person than what I was then. I've done so many things in between then and now. And I'm at a place in my life where I actually have time AND money and minimal other commitments. I want to give riding another shot. I feel that I never got the opportunity to get past the beginner stage and be able to make a definite decision whether I want to continue with riding or not. That's what I want to do now. But because I had trouble with going to the wrong places I'm extra cautious about trying to pick a good place now. 

I need whatever advice you can give about picking a place to try and how long it takes to feel like you're starting to "get it".

This is what I'm looking for: 
- recreational style lessons to just improve my skills, but still with lots of details, including why things are done. I don't have big show ambitions, but want to leave my options open and learn basics that would relate to anything I might want to do in the future
- to feel like there's an actual curriculum and planned progression, not haphazard
- lots of work on basics - walking, trotting, balancing, before worrying about cantering, lead changes, etc
- theory and groundwork and horse husbandry info

Based on location and info from their websites I've picked out 4 potential places. I know websites don't always give the full story, but since I have 4 that look good I don't really want to start hunting for more places to consider. I've asked a couple people if they have any recommendations, but don't know any horsey people who are actively involved in riding in this city.

Does my list sound reasonable? Is there anything else I should be querying them about?

Other questions for you, to help with my investigation:
- does it matter if classes are with kids? Do you find much of a benefit to adult only classes?
- does it matter if there is consistency in what horse you use? I feel like I'd prefer to not always be switching horses, but I do want to get used to different horses as well.
- start with private or group lessons? One place has a 8 week intro package for a reduced rate that includes tack-up instruction/theory plus riding, but it's 4-6 people, which is more than a normal lesson around here (2-4 generally). It sounds good though to just ease back into riding in a group situation before having an instructor pick me apart in a 1 or 2 person lesson. On the other hand, another place insists on 4 private lessons before taking group lessons. This way I'd really be able to concentrate on my form without other horses around. This was one of my issues with the previous lesson place. Always having to worry about my horse in relation to another horse.

My plan is to start with calling or emailing my list of places with a few basic questions. I'd like to narrow it down a little as meeting new people is pretty stressful for me. Then I'd like to go out to see the facilities and ideally watch that instructor give a beginner lesson. If I can't watch that particular instructor, I might cross them off my list.

What are red flags I should watch for - in email and/or in person? Any other advice?

Sorry this is so long. But I'd love some encouragement from horse loving people. I'm overly nervous about trying this out, but that's a topic for another thread.


----------



## Dresden (Jun 24, 2011)

The only advice I can give is to ask at your local tack shop. The people there can usually give you the inside scoop on which are good barns. Bear in mind personal disagreements too. One tack shop here dislikes my BO, one loves her. Since I like her and the facility I chose to go against the ones advice but hearing their opinions on different barns helped me narrow my search.

Hopefully some folks more knowledgable about instructor shopping will chime in  oh and welcome!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

First of all, Welcome to the Forum! 

I never took lessons till I became an adult (different reasons). So far I tried different ones and that's what worked for me:

1) Look for the trainer with recommendations, bunch of successful students, and patient/encouraging(!) to the beginner (last one is very important in fact, you'll go nowhere if trainer won't believe in you and make you to believe in yourself). First thing my current trainer suggested to me when I contacted her was to sit at couple of her lessons of different levels to see how I like them (before spending money on my own lesson). 

2) Private lessons give me WAY more than group ones. Trainer is looking at me every moment giving directions on my posture, aids, etc. In group it's usually cheaper but I didn't get nearly as much out of them. 

3) With the good trainer you start to "get it" really fast. :wink: You don't perfect it fast, but you'll get an idea and will have a purpose. 

4) You have to be entertained the whole lesson.  I never look at the watch during my lessons, and I (and my horse) am all wet when we are done. 

Good luck!


----------



## jinxremoving (Apr 6, 2009)

As someone who was in the same boat as you, I would definitely recommend starting out with private lessons, you'll learn so much faster and get the extra attention necessary to develop you into a good and safe rider. You can always transfer into group lessons at some point, but I think private lessons are the way to go. I'm 27 and started riding earlier this year, taking two private lessons a week. My intentions are to compete some day, but I feel that if I took group lessons I wouldn't have progressed this far.

Riding the same horse at the start would be preferred, you'll get an understanding of how that specific horse works. I was bumped around from horse to horse for a while and every time I started on a new horse it kind of felt like I was starting back at zero. You want to limit the frustrations or riding won't be as enjoyable starting out. I would ask to ride the same horse until you get the basics down and you're comfortable, then give another horse a try. 

When/if you go into group lessons, don't worry about riding with the kids. You will all be working on the same thing and the interaction will be minimal. The funny thing is, kids tend to learn faster so you may actually be the one who holds the class up! Don't feel bad though, everyone's there to learn and have fun. If you had a choice, obviously riding with people your age is better for the social/chit chat aspect but I wouldn't worry if you can only ride with kids.

...

Things to ask / look for in a lesson barn:

- Certified instructors!
- Will they let you watch a lesson or two?
- How happy do the horses look?
- Get recommendations from local riders.

I wouldn't put too much effort into asking local tack shops, they are usually pretty biased based on where they ride themselves. I put up messages on Kijiji / Craigslist instead looking for opinions on specific barns and then sorted through the responses. Where I live, there's a lot of barn bashing... so you always gotta take what people say with a grain of salt and look into things yourself.

Red flags that come to mind:

- Cantering on the third (!) lesson.
- Not asking your experience before letting you mount.
- Not asking your intentions of what you want to do in the long run.
- Tack and garbage all over the aisles.
- Lack of helmets being used.

I think the main thing is that you want the instructor to be interested in what you're trying to accomplish. An instructor who doesn't ask too many questions about yourself probably is only interested in collecting the payment, whereas an instructor who wants to understand your goals, fears and you as a person will probably be a better match.


----------



## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

I didn't start riding as an adult until I was 28. When I did, I actually enjoyed the group lessons more. It gave me a breather when the other women were taking their turns, and we could all empathize with being a little more cautious about riding than when we were kids. A good instructor would initially do a few private lessons first to assess your riding skills and what group would be a good fit for you if you decide to go the group route. I would stay away from kids in your group simply because they are much more fearless riders, are usually strong riders, and overall can make an older adult feel not so great as a rider during the initial get your muscles back period. 

As for what to look for, anyone can promise you the moon and stars. Also as others have said, gossip is just that. Everybody has different opinions about what constitutes a good instructor or barn, so take any opinions with a grain of salt. I would go and watch lessons at each place you are considering. Instructors have very different teaching styles. Watching them teach is the only way to know if the person will be a good fit for you. 

Deal breakers for me would be:

Not asking you what your goals are or your experience on the first lesson.
No helmets being used
Horse's already tacked and ready to go when you get there. 
Snooty people/bratty kids...just run the other way. Life's too short. 

Your checklist sounds good to me. Good luck and have fun getting back into riding!


----------



## Shenandoah (Aug 9, 2010)

Based on the things you're looking for, I'd recommend private lessons if you can afford it.
When you're in a group, the instructor has to balance the things they're working on across all the students. Some students move faster, some move slower - and depending on where you fall, you might be held back or pushed too quickly.
A friend of mine was in that situation, where she wanted to work a lot more on basic flatwork and balance, and the instructor was pushing everyone to jump higher and higher. As a result, lessons were no longer fun for her, and she even started becoming afraid.
Some instructors are better than others at managing students at different levels, but even if they're good at it, it will never be the same as personalized attention.
And for the theory you're interested in, most group lessons don't seem to include much of that. You might be lucky and find someone who will, but with the instructor's attention split among so many students, often they don't have time to step back and explain all the hows and whys.

A good instructor giving private lessons will be able to judge what you can handle. They will "pick apart" as much as they think you can understand, and they will let the rest go until you're advanced enough for it. It doesn't do them or you any good to overwhelm you at any point in a lesson.

Private lessons can also help address your concern about horse consistency. You and your instructor can decide which horse is right for the skills you're working on, and your specific needs, without having to balance the horse across other students' needs.

If you do go with a group, make sure you watch a few group lessons and see how the instructor balances the needs of multiple students. Are those advancing at different rates getting individualized attention? Is the instructor allowing any particularly vocal students to dominate her attention, leaving her to ignore the rest? Is the instructor taking the time to explain the theory?

Good luck finding the right barn. No reason to be nervous - just find an instructor who is willing to work at your pace.
Once you look at a few places, why don't you post here about the good and bad of each, and let people offer suggestions?


----------



## Kestra (Aug 14, 2011)

Thanks everyone. That's exactly the kind of stuff I was looking for. I've copied down everyone's responses and will use that to get a good checklist of things to look for. Also you've helped me clarify some things in my head too. It seems that around here the cost difference between group and private lessons isn't that much. So I'm willing to pay a bit more to get a much better experience. 

Will post updates when I move along in my search.


----------



## Alwaysbehind (Jul 10, 2009)

Want to start with saying congratulations on starting to ride (again).

I truly like the way you are going about finding yourself a place to ride. I wish more people put this much thought into it.


A huge thing to remember - just because Barn A works perfectly for someone else does not mean it is the right barn for you. 
I see you said you do not know anyone who is riding, but as soon as you start riding I am guessing you will realize there are people all around you that have some foot in the horse experience door. They will all have an opinion. Yes, listen but do not take it as gospel. 
We all have our own goals and our own learning styles. 

I believe it takes a very different type of instructor to teach a beginner adult than it does to teach beginner kids. This is not saying that just because they teach kids they can not teach adults. You need to find an instructor you teaches to the student, not an instructor who just teaches. 

Go to the barns and watch lessons. The instructor who will walk up to one kid and physically put their leg where it is supposed to go and then turn around and explain to the next kid how hand position works (because the first kids learns that way, and the second kid learns that way) is the type of instructor you want/need.
Make sure the instructor is giving the students their attention while they are teaching. Not texting or talking on their cell. Not gabbing with their barn friends. 
You also want an instructor who is willing to answer your questions. You are an adult, you are going to ask a boat load of questions. They should be met with reasonable answers. 


The one red flag people mentioned I do not really see as that much of a red flag. Fine if they ask you your experience before you mount. What would bug me is if they truly believed you (general you) when you say you have experience. Newbies should be put on a safe horse and judged from there. The vast majority of people over estimate their riding experience. (Not saying you are doing this, that is just why I would not find it a red flag if they did not ask you in detail your riding experience.)


Group lessons or private lessons is a personal decision. Some people like to learn by hearing and seeing what other people are doing as well as what they are doing. That type of person gets the most out of a group lesson. Other people do best if they get more one on one attention. If you are not sure which will work best for you, I would start with private lessons.

Good luck. Can not wait to hear how it goes.


----------



## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Just wanted to add more support here; I am in a very similar situation and have just gotten back into riding at age 31. I am so happy to be able to do this as an adult, when I don't need to worry about my parents' approval (or money ) or all that drama that seemed to matter as a teenager.

I would add two things that I don't think have been mentioned:
1. Is the instructor someone that a) you are open to learning from? and b) can give adult beginners, specifically, clear and meaningful feedback? I've found that I do not do well with people who use a "sing songy" voice that you would use with children, or give very vague "good job" kind of feedback. I need the instructor to be firm, clear, and willing to push. But, that's me. Think about your learning style and what kind of feedback you will respond to, and as others have said, view a couple of lessons to see how the instructor delivers feedback and organizes the lesson. 

2. Personally, I would ask for lunge lessons early on so you can focus on your own position, body, and security of your seat. I actually don't think cantering by the third lesson is unheard of for a beginner. My current instructor, who was trained in Europe, has mentioned that in her experience, everyone is on the lunge right when they start, and they experience all the gaits in their first few lessons. I am personally struggling with a huge (irrational) mental block around cantering, and I sincerely wish I had been put on the lunge right from the beginning and saw cantering just like any other gait. In my horse life, cantering has been built up into this huge, unattainable thing that you need months and months to work up to, and as such, I have spent months and months being too afraid to do it. If I could go back and start again, I would have gotten on with it much, much sooner.

Good luck with your decision!


----------



## Alwaysbehind (Jul 10, 2009)

Egrogan, great thought on the lunge line lessons. I agree that it might be a great way to start out. Worth the OP asking about.


----------



## Courtney (May 20, 2011)

Congratulations on starting to ride again! I'm just getting back into it myself, after being out of the saddle for about 10 years. I'm a little different than you, though - I hated pretty much all instruction and was much happier learning things on my own, watching videos and reading books. I hate having instructions barked at me, but I definitely understand the merit behind it.

For you, I'd say try to get in on a few private lessons first to get a feel for riding all over again. Once you feel comfortable with that, switch to group lessons. It's always helpful to see how other people learn as well. Every few weeks, do a private lesson. Try out a few horses until you find one that you feel comfortable with and see if you can use that one for most lessons. When I was in lessons, I found I learned better when I wasn't trying to get used to a new horse every single week. Once I was matched with a horse and got to use him every week, I improved quickly.


----------



## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Wow! so much good advice! I couldn't really add anything to it.
I agree, private lessons first. Ask to observe two lessons before chooseing instructor. Can instructor put things into words that are comprehensible? Are students smiling and happy? Healthy looking sschool horses. Does instructor get on to demonstrate a concept? (this is often very useful).

Also, you might enjoy working at a barn that maybe does some natural horsemanship training. I mean learn how to round pen a horse and other things. Not essential but can be fun to learn work on the ground with horses .

BTW I relearned riding at 41~!


----------



## Opus (Jan 3, 2011)

Congrats! I went though this same ordeal about 8 months ago. Here's my take:



Kestra said:


> I need whatever advice you can give about picking a place to try and how long it takes to feel like you're starting to "get it".


After the initial 3-4 lessons, I knew my current instructor was right for me. (Even though she's 7 years my junior.) She was patient, brought me along at my own pace, and gets my sense of humor.  That was important, because if I can't laugh with my instructor, and things feel entirely too proper, I'm going to get bored. Or frustrated. Or both.



> This is what I'm looking for:
> - theory and groundwork and horse husbandry info


You may need to ask for this, but I can't see an instructor saying no. In fact, my instructor and I try to have some unmounted lessons lined up, in case of bad weather, or one of those blah days where the morning came much too early. One lesson involved lunging horses, the most recent lesson involved learning some about conformation. (And she makes me do homework before the next lesson!) 



> Other questions for you, to help with my investigation:
> - does it matter if classes are with kids? Do you find much of a benefit to adult only classes?
> 
> - start with private or group lessons?


It's kind of a double edged sword with me. One one hand, I'm VERY thankful to have gotten back into riding with private lessons. It's hard enough to be an adult learning basic riding, much less doing it with 'witnesses.' But then again, I've found when it's just me, I tend to be much more timid because there's no competition with other riders. Kind of like, 'If a 60-year-old woman can canter, then I'm **** sure going to canter.' But when I'm alone, I shy away from things that make me nervous. (I'm working on it! Although for the time being, the only option I have is private lessons.)

*Kids:* I did do a lesson with a 10-year-old girl one time. With just the two of us, it was fine. I was riding, she was riding. Then her mom, her sister, her sister's BF, her dad, and both grandparents showed up to watch her ride. I was beyond embarassed.  Other students probably wouldn't bother you, but you may feel weird if there's other adults watching. (Or it could just be me.)



> - does it matter if there is consistency in what horse you use? I feel like I'd prefer to not always be switching horses, but I do want to get used to different horses as well.


Depending on the lesson horses, and what each one's benefits and vices are, you may be switching around until you find one that's right for you. And even then, you may find yourself _wanting_ to change horses, because you've become a little advanced for the one you're riding. But switching every lesson would definitely feel a little excessive to me. 



> What are red flags I should watch for - in email and/or in person? Any other advice?


-- Students that aren't wearing helmets.
-- Horses and property look rundown. It doesn't have to be a resort, but if you notice debris and junk lying around, the grass hasn't been mowed, the horses look underfed or unkempt, I'd pass. I've noticed that when barns and horses look good and are treated well, it's a direct reflection of the people there, as well as their program. (There's exceptions, but not many, from what I've seen in the South.)
-- Trust your gut. If you meet with someone and visit the barn and something just doesn't feel 'right' to you, then put it at the bottom of your list. 



> I'm overly nervous about trying this out, but that's a topic for another thread.


Don't be. Once you get past the first couple of lessons, you'll be fine. Besides, I'm 33, and I'm not getting any younger. I want to do this -- and hopefully do it well -- before I'm 40. My bones creak enough as it is. I couldn't imagine doing it later in life. And at some point, that 'later in life' may end up being 'too late,' so do it while you can.


----------



## Shenandoah (Aug 9, 2010)

Oh, one more red flag when you check out barns: lots of saddle sores on the horses.
I've been to 2 barns (one I signed up for a lesson before I'd checked that, bad mistake. And the other was a place a friend was taking lessons before I met her) where the horses had horrible sores on their withers from ill-fitting tack. They would flinch every time I touched it, I can't imagine how they felt to try to carry around a saddle and person on top of that  I felt so bad for them. Wouldn't go back to the first place, and convinced my friend that her place wasn't so good.

Fortunately, most people take better care of their horses than that, so you shouldn't see that too often. But if you do, run far away.


----------



## FIREBLADE (Aug 11, 2011)

I have just recently gotten back into riding a long time after my accident my main concern was finding an instructor that understood where I am now not where I was.
As soon as people heard what I had been doing in Germany as far as riding they couldn't understand why I was at basically square one.
I had a hard time finding someone with the right Horses the once that didn't over react with someone on there back that wasn't confident.
And an Instructor that always wanted to know why Germany taught things that way or what they taught.
I don't mind giving info but I ran into Instructors that seemed intimidated by me and nothing was further from the truth all I wanted is to get back into riding and built confidence.
I did finally find someone to work with and while her facility is old she cares about her Horses and her students and didnt get bothered by my background just paid attention to where I was now.


----------



## nicnacnoo (Sep 8, 2011)

i,m 37 from N Ireland, and also have decided to get back in the saddle, i had a pony as a child, went for lessons etc but never competed in shows.
I had to give up as it was a rich kids hobby back then.

i've book a private lesson, as i don't want to make a fool of myself infront of a load of kids lol

I've spoken with the teacher who is in her 20's, she sounds nice and i really hope she has a GSOH too, i then hopefully want to start riding regulary with maybe buying/loaning next spring.

but i am really nervous about 1st lesson, fell like i'm taking my driving test again!!!!


----------



## DraftXDressage (Aug 29, 2011)

Kestra, if you're comfortable posting what general area you're in, maybe someone here could give you a specific recommendation? You've gotten some excellent advice here, but nothing beats firsthand info.


----------



## VelvetsAB (Aug 11, 2010)

_Everyone has given really good advice about everything so far, so I will just add my two cents about private/group lessons._

_I think it is best to have a good mix of them. _

_Privates might be a better way to start, so that you can get comfortable with riding again, and ease yourself into a group lesson. Once you are in group lessons, if you are having issues with something, then have a private, so you can focus on that issue, as you can get the one on one attention you need._


----------



## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

I prefer group lessons but if you are looking for a planned itinerary with structured learning private lessons are definitely the way to go. Of course you are going to improve quicker in a private setting, and chances are you will have more of an opportunity to ride the same horse. Group riding is more "recreational" but I don't think you are going to experience so much of a structured learning - just more a fun thing to do every week. 

Most schools should have dedicated adult classes. Children (not all) can be really annoying to be around, and you might feel like a bit of an outsider. 

Horse people talk a lot, so if you ask around you should definitely be able to get information about where treats their horses well, and where the best instructors are. If you don't know anyone give the local horse riding club a call, or even the local pony club. A tack or feed store might be okay - but businesses often moderate what they are saying. 

Look for accredited instructors with experience. 

Good luck.


----------



## Kestra (Aug 14, 2011)

OP here again. Obviously it's been a while since I started this thread. After lots of thinking (too much) that I should do this, then that I shouldn't, then I should I'm back to taking the first step.

I've contacted a couple places and will go today to observe lessons at place #1 and then probably Monday at place #2. So that means I'm nervous as heck. I'm so introverted - new experiences are a challenge for me. I'm not particularly shy so once I get to know people I can speak my mind and "act like a normal person" but walking into a new place, not knowing what the BM/BO (instructor also, in these cases) looks like and not knowing anything about the facility turns me into a ball of anxiety. I know it's probably a good sign that both places were like - come on over - any of these times. Means they're not hiding anything and they don't care what I look at or who I talk to, as opposed to having to meet the BO at a specific place/time. But it makes the situation a bit more challenging for me. 

So here I am awake an hour earlier than I need to be making up my list of things to observe and questions to ask.

Wish me luck!


----------



## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

Just relax and take things one step at a time. I also have an anxiety issue and I completely understand where you're coming from. Remember, going down to these barns to observe and check them out is only that, there's no obligation to move forward with either of them. Make sure you choose a barn that will cater to a nervous adult and not push you too far past your comfort zone. My barn has made such a huge impact on my riding because they know when to push me and when to step back. 

Good luck and keep us posted!


----------



## Allison Finch (Oct 21, 2009)

Congrats for "coming out of the closet" per se. The lurking closet, that is. I am glad you decided to take a positive step. Go watch, listen and pick the brains of the folks at the barn. See if they are your kind of people. If not comfortable, try another. You will find a good fit.

I really like the idea of lunge line lessons, too. See if the instructor gives them. I put even my advanced students on the lunge from time to time. They are a great way to remember the basics.

Good luck and keep us all informed!!


----------



## Kestra (Aug 14, 2011)

Thanks for the support.

Update on the first place - it was really great! (Other than me being too tired - mostly from nerves.) So many of the things that were discussed in this thread the instructor/BM brought up without me having to ask.

She brought up the lunging lessons, working on balance without reins etc. Also about small class sizes. And mentioned how she would pick a horse she thought would be suitable and then I could try a few if that didn't work until the right horse is selected and then I would use that horse all the time.

They were definitely safety conscious and organized. But it's a smallish place so no big city or too fancy feel. Big enough to have clinics and fun shows but small enough to not be intimidating. Casual enough to not be stressful but not so much that you aren't learning anything.

I watched several adult women riders take their lessons. The other students were super great - introduced themselves right away and told me all about the place. Didn't have to refer to my piece of paper with questions at all. 

I got to stand in the arena during the lessons so I could hear everything properly. Lots of good explanations - some to the students, some to me.

And she returned my email right away and the other students reassured me that driving and weather wasn't a big issue (winter is really bad here) and classes were cancelled when driving is unsafe.

Overall I was very impressed, obviously. Will still check out place #2 as comparison is good and based on the website place #2 might be a little better in a couple areas and I think would be better to drive to in the winter. But if it doesn't seem as good, I think I have my place chosen.


----------



## commonfish (Jan 2, 2011)

It sounds like option 1 is a pretty nice place! Hopefully #2 is just as great with a better location for you. 

I'm an adult beginner too- I started riding last January after spending my whole life wanting to ride, but my parents never allowed me to take lessons as a child. I finally decided that I was 23, I could afford to pay for lessons, and dang it nothing was stopping me but myself. I wanted to start lessons so much that I did something I would have never done usually- I called up my hair stylist (who's a horsey person) and asked her did she know anybody that was good for lessons. She told me about my current instructor, and then I called her up and spent the next hour or so talking to her. I was a nervous wreck picking up the phone to call my stylist- I was pushing my boundaries out so far, just randomly reaching out and asking something like that, but at the time I worked as a recruiter and I figured if I had it in me to call folks 5 or 6 states over and try to get them to change jobs, then I could call this woman about lessons! That initial fear is in a lot of us, I think. Once you choose a stable and get used to everything you'll wonder how you were ever nervous to start the whole process. 

I currently take one private lesson and one group lesson a week. My group lesson was just three of us, but recently a fourth rider has joined our group. I'm 23, and the other three are 10, 11 and the new kid may be 13 or so, but the younger ones are actually very well behaved and (usually) mature, so don't be afraid to ride with children- they aren't all ill behaved brats.


----------



## kimj (Jun 15, 2010)

Hi there! Just wanted to reassure you from another introverted, nervous, shy adult who started riding at the age of 35 (I'm now 38) that you can do it! I've had group and private lessons, two different barns, and both have their good and bad points. I went from lessons about once every 2 weeks because of money/scheduling difficulties, to now part-leasing with a lesson once a week so I'm in the saddle 2-3 times a week. It's so worth getting over all the nerves/shyness, etc! I even now volunteer at a therapeutic riding center and am one of the 'horse handlers' once a week, tacking up, leading the horse, etc.

As for the lessons, at the main barn I ride at, I usually ride with 1 or 2 adults but sometimes I ride with the kids (they're about 10-14 years) and the only bad part of that is I've watched them progress so much faster than me that it's rather depressing (LOL). However, that's just because they're young and fearless and flexible. LOL Can't do much about any of that. It has helped push me out of my comfort zone though watching them progress over the years and now I'll even do a course of crossrails, something I never in a million years planned on doing when I first decided to take lessons! Though like another poster said, the downside of riding with kids is being watched by all the other parents as they watch their kids. lol Most moms are impressed that I started riding when I did and had the courage to do it. One of them even decided to start herself after watching me ride with her daughter. lol

You definitely learn a ton more in private lessons though, which I've done at another more formal barn. Honestly, I like them both for different reasons. Sometimes I find private a bit much as I don't want the constant eyes on me, yet in the group there's sometimes a lot of waiting around, plus my position suffered from not getting more specific, personal instruction early on in my lessons. I'd definitely start with private, and lunging too is the best way I think to get your position early on. I didn't even get a lunge lesson (aside from first learning to canter) until this year and I think that was my best lesson ever. I had to ride with no stirrups or reins at a trot and canter (no biggie to many, but I'm a Nervous Nelly!) and that made it so clear how much I had been relying on my hands without realizing it, so if you can start out that way you'd be off to a great start. 

Anyway, you've done way better than I did in researching barns, so I imagine you'll end up in a great place! I kind of took whatever was available due to my schedule but have lucked out in having an instructor who has been great for me in accommodating my schedule plus my wimpiness. :wink: 

Good luck and have fun! I love reading about all of us starting as adults! I often wonder where I expect to go with it starting so late.... I have a secret dream of getting good enough to be an instructor myself one day, but it seems unlikely at this age (though if anyone has any stories like of doing it I'd love to hear them!). Darn expensive, time-consuming sport that it is but I'm addicted! lol


----------

