# Barn drama management



## KatFenSum (Jan 29, 2020)

Wait.. why would the barn take your mini away from you? Just because you see her < 3x a week? Your board is paid, her vet work and feet are up to date and she's well behaved for the most part from what you say. If anyone is making noise about taking her from you, involve the police. 

As for Ms. "You don't see Po Po enough", ignore her. No, seriously, as in ignore e.v.e.r.y.t..h.i.n.g she says. No hello, no good bye, no excuse me, no comment about how often you see your pony.. all of it. Make it obvious. Don't huff off, but if she starts to speak, look at her squarely in the eye ONCE, then turn away and act as if she's not there. 

Had one like this at a barn where I boarded. She'd coo and oogle over her school horse as I had mine in X ties for grooming. Talking nonsense about how horses should be seen daily and how they _enjoy_ being ridden. (circumstances prevented me from riding). She'd carry on this nonsense in front of anyone until finally the barn owner told her to knock it off. That people are entitled to enjoy their horses as they wish and so long as the animal's health wasn't compromised, she needed to stop the running commentary. 

You just have to wait for others to see how annoying she's being. And maybe they never will. As for the social aspect of goign to the barn -- heaven if no human talks to me. I'm not there for people. I'm there for my horse. So they may think they're 'icing me out' when in fact Im loving every second of the silence. 

Chin up. Enjoy your mini as you see fit. And for the record, I know several boarding barns who would think you're the ideal boarder!


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## ACinATX (Sep 12, 2018)

I think I may be missing something ... why would the barn take her away from you? It's not the barn owner or the manager who's making these comments, right? Just another boarder? She shouldn't have any say about what happens to your mini. 

Personally I always felt a little sorry for the horses at my barn whose owners couldn't get out to see them much. But honestly I doubt the horses really mind, as long as they are getting fed and they're out in the pasture with their friends. Sometimes you can't get out to see your horse frequently. As long as her needs are met, no one should be making you feel bad about that. I am not sure I would flat out ignore this other person, but I wouldn't pay any attention to what she's saying. People have different amounts of time they can spend with their horses -- having less time to spend with yours doesn't make you a bad person.

As for how to improve your stay, I'd say, just go out there and spend time with your mini; try to avoid the other boarders. You're not out there to be friends with them, you're out there to see your mini. And it doesn't sound like an overly friendly place anyway.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Three times a week is fine, better than a lot of horses. Smile, nod and walk on away from these folks. They need more 'wet blankets' on them.


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## Horsef (May 1, 2014)

My mare would be grateful to see me less often. Preferably never.

Jokes aside, if the horse is under professional care that is paid for regularly, no one in their right mind would take it away. And seeing your horse 3 times a week is likely average.


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## horselovinguy (Oct 1, 2013)

First off, WELCOME to the Forum.


So if I read and understand correctly...
You have a mini horse who you board.
Because of time constraints you are not able to see the mini as much as you would like, but those constraints are lessening allowing you more time now to see her. 3x a week is nothing to sneeze at seeing your girl either!
Your board is paid on time, you attend to vet and farrier care as needed when needed for her...and you go to see her as often as possible...
Your mini is not neglected nor abandoned and is in the care of a facility you trust who alerts you to anything adverse happening..
So far so good in understanding?
Now, there are a few other boarders at this facility who look down on you, make comment and your time at the barn uncomfortable because what you can do does not follow what they do with their animal...
So, they don't own your animal and have no business making comment or ridicule.
Your mini is _not_ neglected in her care and you do see her, the mini knows you and responds to you as you like...
Bottom line is it is no one else's business whether you see the mini or not when the needs of the animal are met by the barn...those needs are food, water, clean stall. She has vet care and farrier work done when/as needed.
You _*do*_ see her and when you are with her she is groomed and interacted with.
_There are no grounds for a seizure of the animal to take place...*none*._
Rude people who think they have the right to make comments about anothers animal should be quiet in a boarding situation.
These people also can make all the assumptions they want but the fact is..._you own the animal_.
You pay the bills for board, vet and farrier.
You are at the barn and do see the animal as your schedule allows...

The barn workers may just not know you very well, and well, they are working not there to socialize so limited interactions and conversations take place.
I would just ignore the irritating boarders...they should keep their comments to themselves as they are not wanted nor needed.
As long as your bills are paid on time, no one has a issue legally to do anything against you or take your mini.
She is _not_ neglected when she is fed, watered and offered shelter along with vet and farrier work done by decree of law, with no grounds to seize,period.
I would not be so kind to those who make comments and have no business doing so...
Me, I would tell them off to their face to mind their own business. 

Your mini's care _*is*_ your business not theirs as their horse is not your responsibility....goes both ways that MYOB {mind-your-own-business}.
There are no grounds for seizure and those who make comment, ignore. 

You are doing just fine for your girl...honest.


The barn workers if spreading rumor or false info, they need spoken to by barn management to be set straight and told to stop creating drama. They have no business speaking of private matters to another boarder they honestly know nothing about.
That goes for the boarder giving you a hard time...barn management should also speak to her/them and tell them MYOB...that is a warning to cease and desist the drama they are creating.

Just my take on it...your girl is safe and you should not be plagued by a mouth and drama queen out of line.
_Speak to management of the facility_, *not* to other boarders or the workers who can do nothing to stop the nonsense..._only management has the ability to stop, squash and remove the annoyance factor!_

Hugs...
:runninghorse2:...


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## Horsequeen86 (Jun 24, 2018)

KatFenSum said:


> Wait.. why would the barn take your mini away from you? Just because you see her < 3x a week? Your board is paid, her vet work and feet are up to date and she's well behaved for the most part from what you say. If anyone is making noise about taking her from you, involve the police.
> 
> As for Ms. "You don't see Po Po enough", ignore her. No, seriously, as in ignore e.v.e.r.y.t..h.i.n.g she says. No hello, no good bye, no excuse me, no comment about how often you see your pony.. all of it. Make it obvious. Don't huff off, but if she starts to speak, look at her squarely in the eye ONCE, then turn away and act as if she's not there.
> 
> ...


Thank you, that's most encouraging!


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## Horsequeen86 (Jun 24, 2018)

ACinATX said:


> I think I may be missing something ... why would the barn take her away from you? It's not the barn owner or the manager who's making these comments, right? Just another boarder? She shouldn't have any say about what happens to your mini.
> 
> Personally I always felt a little sorry for the horses at my barn whose owners couldn't get out to see them much. But honestly I doubt the horses really mind, as long as they are getting fed and they're out in the pasture with their friends. Sometimes you can't get out to see your horse frequently. As long as her needs are met, no one should be making you feel bad about that. I am not sure I would flat out ignore this other person, but I wouldn't pay any attention to what she's saying. People have different amounts of time they can spend with their horses -- having less time to spend with yours doesn't make you a bad person.
> 
> As for how to improve your stay, I'd say, just go out there and spend time with your mini; try to avoid the other boarders. You're not out there to be friends with them, you're out there to see your mini. And it doesn't sound like an overly friendly place anyway.


You got it right! I think it really is as simple as this.


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## Horsequeen86 (Jun 24, 2018)

tinyliny said:


> Three times a week is fine, better than a lot of horses. Smile, nod and walk on away from these folks. They need more 'wet blankets' on them.


😄


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## Horsequeen86 (Jun 24, 2018)

Horsef said:


> My mare would be grateful to see me less often. Preferably never.
> 
> Jokes aside, if the horse is under professional care that is paid for regularly, no one in their right mind would take it away. And seeing your horse 3 times a week is likely average.


So she's a 20 y/o broodmare and retired dressage horse. She did her time and at this point, I'm just wanting her to enjoy her horsey life in peace. I'll do some simple training with her, nothing strenuous and we'll goof off on trail walks, it's all recreational for both of us. When I did it 4 times a week she just was more fidgety and moody, so I learned this was her limit. And at one point I hadn't been in for 3 weeks, but she still whinnied at me when she saw me and that felt like "well if she is happy with me. That's enough for me".


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## Horsequeen86 (Jun 24, 2018)

horselovinguy said:


> First off, WELCOME to the Forum.
> 
> 
> So if I read and understand correctly...
> ...


I think I should. So many changes occurred at the barn in a short time that it's hard to tell who is in charge anymore. This made me really feel left out, but in reading through everyone's comment, I'm determined. This particular boarder if friends with everyone and it feels like me being the quiet one would lead to a bully or gang up, but there are a few good folks there I may be able to lean on to get an understanding of the new dynamics. As far as "nosey" is concerned, I will politely invite her to worry about her own horse. She was saying other people feel bad for my horse and stuff, yet my horse and I have a bond where she will walk at liberty with me on trails with her whole lead rope on her back. So I agree with you all, I don't think she's terribly upset without me.


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## txgirl (Jul 9, 2010)

When I boarded, I was happy to be left alone away from drama! But really, sounds like they are a bunch of old hens with nothing better to do than to harass you. Me being me would tell them they need to pay more attention to their horses instead of you!


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