# The wedding thread



## Clayton Taffy (May 24, 2011)

Best wishes!! 
Your wedding is along way away. My advice is to not make many decisions yet, and no deposits yet, styles change, yout tastes change, new things might come about, budgets change, heck, you might be a compleatly different person in 20 months.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

Taffy Clayton said:


> Best wishes!!
> Your wedding is along way away. My advice is to not make many decisions yet, and no deposits yet, styles change, yout tastes change, new things might come about, budgets change, heck, you might be a compleatly different person in 20 months.



Thank you!

That is exactly how I view it. We are not booking anything yet. I am getting out there to get ideas. I am on a weight loss mission so I am not looking for a dress until this fall. The next 6 months are just looking. We are thinking August/September time for the wedding. That will get narrowed down as we get ideas of where we want to do it, who we are inviting. That kind of deal. I have lots of time which is perfect. 

I am the kind of person who needs time to get things together because I am overly organized and a stickler for details. I carefully plan so having time to get it all together will be great for my little detailed mind haha


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

I'm destined to be a spinster.


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## Clava (Nov 9, 2010)

My friend is getting married this August, the reception will be in my garden and she plans to ride her horse from my house to the wedding venue (down the road), and 3 of us will ride with her as an entourage. Can't wait. She'a member of this forum so I'll show her this thread


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## peppersgirl (Aug 24, 2012)

My first wedding, I went to all the trouble of planning..stressed my self right out!!

Second wedding- I said fug it, and we booked a wedding package down in Eureka Springs ARK. I just had to buy my dress, hire a photog, let them know what cake I liked and what flowers and show up. 

The venue was B&B mansion (very classy) and we were married in the parlor- they even provided the cake. This wedding/mini honeymoon cost us around $1500 when it was all said and done.. It wasn't extravagant by any means and we only had about 10 people there, but I think it turned out really nice.. And it was a hell of alot easier than months and months of planning and details.


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## QOS (Dec 8, 2008)

I love weddings!!! I support my horses by being a cake decorator and my favorite is wedding cakes. Y'all can check out my cakes at Cakessospecial.com
 
Love seeing their engagement rings and hearing all the details. I say get a budget going and do your best to stick to it. My nephew just got married and we pulled their little wedding together in 2 weeks and it was just perfect. Not fancy, just nice and full of love, laughter, family and a few friends.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

QOS your cakes are BEAUTIFUL!! I love them!!

We have a budget and we are set on it. Sadly both our families would not be impressed if we wanted to do a super small wedding with next to no people. He has to big of a family and my family is just crazy lol. I am excited though. We are doing a country wedding with a lot of family traditions.


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## Clava (Nov 9, 2010)

Great cakes!

My wedding cake was a scaled down Dover Castle :lol:,


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## Tianimalz (Jan 6, 2009)

Subbing


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## dressagebelle (May 13, 2009)

My wedding is in 6 months, June of this year. We got engaged January of last year, so we've had plenty of time to plan, so all that's left is just the small details, exactly what the flowers are going to look like, exactly what food we want, how I want my hair done, and what I want the groom and groomsmen to wear. And the wedding vows. Sometimes I feel like I've got plenty of time to make all the final decisions, and other times I feel like I am lagging, and need to actually make a decision on something. It's been really fun since I've had plenty of time to figure things out, but I will be glad when its all done and people quit asking me how all the planning is going, and giving me a bunch of advice. I've loved getting some help, but its hard to tell someone that their idea just isn't what I had in mind, but thanks for telling me. 

Mom was a little bummed because I found my wedding dress the first day we went out to look, but when you know, you know lol. I am very excited about the wedding, and I'm not at all stressed out. Unfortunately I have had a few people make me feel stressed because they come up and talk to me, and are telling me that I should be stressed because its coming up soon, etc. I hate that because I like that I'm pretty relaxed and laid back, and not on edge and driving everyone crazy, which was part of the reason for a longer engagement. 

Still, such an exciting time planning everything, and counting down the days.


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## WSArabians (Apr 14, 2008)

My computer opened this thread at random, and it scared me. 
*sneaks away from crazy marriage people...* :lol:


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

WSArabians said:


> My computer opened this thread at random, and it scared me.
> *sneaks away from crazy marriage people...* :lol:


Your computer is trying to tell you something :shock: :lol:


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

Oooooooo!! 
*excitedly claps hands*
NB, are you by any chance in southern Alberta? We can chat via pm but I'm just curious as I'm going to a show on the 20th too. 
I got engaged on New Year's Eve to my wonderful now fiancé of 6 years and I'm do excited to marry him! We are looking at July of 2014, and I'm very excited to be going to NY to go dress shopping with my mom. 
I have my bridal party picked (very easy to do) but nothing else haha. I figure with my mom, MOH and two bridesmaids I can just sit back, relax, and show up to say "I do!"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

Sadly not the same wedding show. I wish it was! It would be awesome if we got to hang out and plan together! I am jealous about your NYC dress shopping in a huge way!! 

I'll pm you


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

My best wedding planning help was a 3-ring notebook (w/a horse picture on it) that I kept all my ideas in & checklists of what was done & still had to be taken care of. I had it in sections & it was a big help.


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## BCtazzie (Jun 7, 2011)

I'm the small wedding group. We want less then 30. we haven't set a date yet and to everyone seam like the weird ones not having a date yet. we may even just elope at some point. 

two arguments have already started. first one being family trying to tell us how our wedding should be(number of people, who we can and can't invite, colours etc), our theory is they got married how they wanted, we'll get married how we want. If they do like it, don't come. 

Second one, roped up into the first one. If someone can not be bothered to speak to me when I try to have a conversation with them ( kept texting friends) don't be thinking cause your blood, you get bridal party and or an invite. I have meet his sister twice and both times (once being at our house) can say, I serious have not really spoken with her. 

I am getting to the point where I start telling where they can go....in two words in a very aussie way. It's been 6 weeks since we got engaged and bridzilla is getting close to choking someone

rant over.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

Oh wow... I can't blame you for ranting and wanting to take off and elope. Heck I would be surprised if you didn't! I can't believe his sister truly expects to be part of it when she can't be bothered to look you in the eye. I say drop kick her. Or better yet, send her an invite, tell her shes part of the wedding party and she has to buy her dress. Make the address on the invite wrong or the wrong date and have her show up ready for a wedding with no wedding going on when/where she shows up :rofl:


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## BCtazzie (Jun 7, 2011)

it blows my mind. I do take a bit before I lose my s**t but when I do. You will here me from the east coast. At least when the whole "you will do this and that" started, some how, I didn't start swearing with my comments or asked them if they are on drugs. All though silence did happen when the "don't like it, don't come, simple" popped out. topic changed pretty quick too.

Growing up, I was always told that it doesn't take much to be polite. If I see someone I don't like down the street, I still say good morning or hello. So it really grates on me when someone can not be bothered to be at least polite. 

To me, inviting her is like invite that neighbor we all have. You know the one simply referred to as "that moron, down the road", yeah, them.


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## Clayton Taffy (May 24, 2011)

What I did as far as guests, I gave the four principal parties a number of how many they could invite.
Grooms parents 50
Brides parents 50
groom 75
bride 75
It worked out great, I don't know if I was lucky, but it was a breeze.
It was up to each individual to pare down their own list and get addresses.
Of course it helped that I paid for the bulk of wedding, so I made decisions.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

Taffy Clayton said:


> What I did as far as guests, I gave the four principal parties a number of how many they could invite.
> Grooms parents 50
> Brides parents 50
> groom 75
> ...


My head just exploded at the thought of 250 people at my wedding... my social anxiety sky rocketed at that one. Plus I don't think I have 75 people that I like enough to invite lol. I am a bit of an anti social snob.


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## BCtazzie (Jun 7, 2011)

NBEventer said:


> Plus I don't think I have 75 people that I like enough to invite lol. I am a bit of an anti social snob.


no, you are not an anti social snob, you just take quality over quantity.

I'm the same way, I have a small group of friends that I can say without a doubt are my friends. I'd rather have them over a gaggle of false friends any day.


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## Clayton Taffy (May 24, 2011)

Big family in a small town.
plus only about 60% of the invited guests come, we had closer to 80% because of a big family in a small town thing.
We did not invite children either, I still have enemies over that one. Couldn't afford them. Since we had my wedding outside not only did I have to pay for the childrens food but also the rentals, chair, dishes, silverware, glassware, napkin, table space and I would have had to make the tent bigger.

Good luck, this is the most fun time. Relax and realize that in 10 years most of the problems your dealing with now won't even be a memory.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

Taffy Clayton said:


> Big family in a small town.
> plus only about 60% of the invited guests come, we had closer to 80% because of a big family in a small town thing.
> We did not invite children either, I still have enemies over that one. Couldn't afford them. Since we had my wedding outside not only did I have to pay for the childrens food but also the rentals, chair, dishes, silverware, glassware, *napkin*, table space and I would have had to make the tent bigger.
> 
> Good luck, this is the most fun time. Relax and realize that in 10 years most of the problems your dealing with now won't even be a memory.


I can honestly say I never would have thought about having to pay for something as simple as a napkin... oh wow my head is going to explode from this...


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Good Luck guys, hope they are all beautiful weddings!!

Just a tip and a wedding rant...
I'm helping my BFF plan hers, she is doing an excellent job, but when it comes to our dresses... ARRGGGHHHH!!! 
I went last week to get fitted and buy my dress AND shoes for her, which I think is the thing to do now? Oh my heavens, it's the ugliest, most unflattering dress I've ever seen. She also didn't include me or one of the other BM's to check them out. 
I was heartbroken. Since I didn't have a large wedding I thought (and planned a date and talked to her about) the idea that we would all get together for lunch, have drinks, try on dresses, the whole shebang. Nope. She went with her sister who is a size 0, let her decide and then informed us in a text. $250 later (Ouch, they HAD to be ordered ASAP right after Christmas?? Nice planning.) I'm going to have the most hideous dress (seriously thought that was an outdated wedding stereotype, I would never do such a thing), and purple platform shoes my kid is going to receive once I'm done. Honestly I think it's tacky to not consider us (or our body types) when picking out the dresses. I _might_ able to rock mine after I loose a few, but one of the girls texted me when she was getting hers and said she looked like a hermaphrodite... Poor girl!!


So maybe this rant will be a help for you lovely brides? Best wishes!!!


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## QOS (Dec 8, 2008)

thanks for the sweet compliments. I have worked hard to become a cake decorator that delivers what the bride expects and wants. I have been fortunate to do two Ultimate Cake Off Challenges on TLC; one in 2009 and one in 2010. It was fun. 

I love making huge wedding cakes but the small ones are fun too. Some brides want huge - I am doing one in March that will have over 300 people there. She is a doctor in Washington DC area and he is an attorney - her father is a judge here. They are inviting everyone in who is anyone in our county. Can't wait!!!

They are all different and I enjoy them all - never had a real bridezilla - the closest was son's soon to be ex-wife. Gaaaaa.....she was the pits. 

There are some great cake decorators Down Under that I know on boards. They are AMAZING! Loads of great cake decorators in Canada too. Have a great dress, great cake and food and you are set for a fantastic day no matter what the size. Y'all post y'alls dresses. I am a wedding dress freak girl. Love them!


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## BCtazzie (Jun 7, 2011)

NBEveter, I'll lend you my costco card. Napkins sorted!

Taffy I like the whole 60% not showing up idea. 

As for food, is it wrong to tell people it's a pot luck? ;D


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

BCtazzie said:


> NBEveter, I'll lend you my costco card. Napkins sorted!
> 
> Taffy I like the whole 60% not showing up idea.
> 
> As for food, is it wrong to tell people it's a pot luck? ;D


Sounds like a plan! lol. We were going to do a summer wedding and do a BBQ. However weather is unpredictable and we decided to do fall anyway. We are buying a new truck in the fall and a new house next(2014) spring and start to build my barn and indoor so we are just going to be tapped out. I don't know how we are going to find the money for all of this lol. Anyone wanna help me rob a bank? I'll split the money with you!


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## BCtazzie (Jun 7, 2011)

I hear you about tapped out. We are closing on a place this week, will have to get a new(ish) car in the next 3 months. We're hanging off on the arena for maybe 3-5 years. I'm still waiting for immigration to open paper work so I can atleast have a new/ current work visa. banks are only looking james income as I'm not a PR yet. only 4 more months to wait and then they should be opening mine up!


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## Tianimalz (Jan 6, 2009)

NBEventer said:


> My head just exploded at the thought of 250 people at my wedding... my social anxiety sky rocketed at that one. Plus I don't think I have 75 people that I like enough to invite lol. I am a bit of an anti social snob.


I don't even KNOW 75 people :rofl: :rofl:


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## SunnyK01 (Mar 15, 2010)

BCtazzie said:


> I'm the small wedding group. We want less then 30. we haven't set a date yet and to everyone seam like the weird ones not having a date yet. we may even just elope at some point.
> 
> two arguments have already started. first one being family trying to tell us how our wedding should be(number of people, who we can and can't invite, colours etc), our theory is they got married how they wanted, we'll get married how we want. If they do like it, don't come.
> 
> ...


All of the above is why, after planning a big wedding with all the family for the past year, my fiance and I just decided to say screw it all and go to Vegas instead! :lol: I REALLY wish I had just followed my instincts and planned on Vegas in the first place but oh well, at least I am very much looking forward to it now. The money we are losing on deposits we can't get back is no match for the peace of mind we are getting without having to worry about every random family member's wants.


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## WSArabians (Apr 14, 2008)

NBEventer said:


> Your computer is trying to tell you something :shock: :lol:


:shock:
Ah, hell no! Time for a few computer! LOL


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## Spotted Image (Aug 10, 2011)

Haven't made an date yet might be in 2014 or 2015, depending on my schooling. Just got engaged Dec. 7


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## dressagebelle (May 13, 2009)

CONGRATS Spotted Image!

We are fortunately keeping it relatively small. 100 people, close family friends, family, etc. 

I'm letting my girls (there are only 3 of them) pick out their own dresses. I gave them color swatches (from home depot paint department) so they have a color range to go on, and I few pictures of styles I liked, so the feel of the wedding is what I want, but I would hate it if someone told he "Here's your dress, sorry that I brought only one person with me, and it looked great on her so I picked it for everyone" I want them to be able to get something they may actually wear again, and while obviously I don't want to be "outshined" on my day, I also don't want my maids to be hideous. So we'll see what they pick out. 

I honestly wouldn't necessarily pick the fiance's sister to be part of the wedding party. I was asked to be a maid for my fiance's brother's wedding, but as much as I like his brothers wife, I just have other people I'm closer to (especially seeing as we're in Cali, and they're in NY) and what counts is who YOU want to be at your side on your big day. I love the girls I picked, though I'm a little worried about my brother's girlfriend, as she immediately went into the "OMG when is your shower, what are you doing, I love planning things, we girls are going to have so much fun planning parties for you, must have their numbers so we can start to plan" So I'm hoping that she doesn't go too overboard and like get me a stripper and make a big bachelorette drunk fest party thing, though I think she definitely knows that's NOT my thing. But all my girls were excited, and I'm excited to have them be part of my day, and since its YOUR day, that's the important thing.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

Sooooooooooo... I went to a wedding show today and talk about information over load. I think my head is going to implode. 

The amount of little tiny things one would never even imagine having to worry about is insane. Little things like napkin rings, forks, embellishments with flowers, what the plates look like, games to play during the reception... just so many tiny little details. I am so happy I have 20 months to pull this together :shock:

I did however pick my MOH today. My fiances sister is going to be my MOH. I love her to pieces and she is so organized I know she will help keep this together for me lol.


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

Ohmigod I went to a wedding show yesterday with my fiancé, one bridesmaid, and my mom - had a blast but it was also a lot to take in. I only lasted a couple hours till I needed a few drinks. I'm so proud of Rich - he's been a complete trooper and seems to actually want to be involved which is great  
We have set a date and have put deposits down on the venues!! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I only skimmed, so this might have been mentioned already, but we had 15 guests at our wedding, 5 of which were our foster kids, so 10 true guests. Parents, siblings, and 2 case workers to supervise the kids. 

It's as much hassle organizing a small wedding as it is a large wedding. Still need photographer, booze, food, music, flowers, suit rental, overnight room rentals, venue etc. Costs can be much lower, but it's still the same amount of organizing. 

Our wedding was $5k which is pretty expensive considering how few people there were, but I still wanted all the nice things.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

So... we are in the process of looking for a venue for our reception. 

I am at a loss as to what to look for in a venue. Is there a magical list of things I should be looking for and asking about? What are some of the little minor things I should take into consideration when choosing a reception venue?


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

Wheeeeeee! We have a date and venues are booked! Wow, it's all coming together.. and yet not - I'm so stressed about budgeting, making sure that I'm not overspending.. gahh!


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

JustDressageIt said:


> Wheeeeeee! We have a date and venues are booked! Wow, it's all coming together.. and yet not - I'm so stressed about budgeting, making sure that I'm not overspending.. gahh!


We have our date, ceremony venue but no reception venue. I am so thankful we have a 2014 date. No way I would be able to pull off 2013 without a complete nervous breakdown. 

We have buying a new car, truck and possibly horse trailer, buying a house, building a barn, getting up fences and moving the horses home THEN the wedding :shock:


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

Ugh I hear ya! I'm so so so thankful to have a 2014 date as well - I'm buying a new truck next week, looking at a house, etc etc as well. I wouldn't be able to do a 2013 date without ending up in a straightjacket.


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## crimsonsky (Feb 18, 2011)

we're getting married in september - courthouse wedding, coffee and lunch after, 12 guests = perfect for us. my bff is flying in from chicago tomorrow and we're spending a long weekend dress shopping. i'm so excited and SOOOO happy that both ryan and i don't want a big wedding or any of that. you put the word "wedding" onto something and all of a sudden things cost 10x's as much. ridiculous!


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

NBEventer said:


> So... we are in the process of looking for a venue for our reception.
> 
> I am at a loss as to what to look for in a venue. Is there a magical list of things I should be looking for and asking about? What are some of the little minor things I should take into consideration when choosing a reception venue?


I need more info about what you are looking for before I can offer advise. Small, large? Outside vendors, inhouse? Dance floor? Outdoor, indoor etc etc.


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## Northernstar (Jul 23, 2011)

Ours was simple, beautiful, and full of nature - we had less than 100 guests, married in our little country church, and the reception was held outdoors, but under a huge stone pavilion on a lake in a County Park. The food was simple and delicious, the guests were happy, comfortable, and could roam the lovely grounds as they wished. We had a disc jockey who tactfully knew what we wanted and did a good job with the bouquet toss/bride and groom dance, etc... It was very beautiful, and only about 5 hrs long total. July 7 12 yrs ago, and just like yesterday. Our friends still say it was the nicest wedding they had ever been to. Oh, I must add...... there were 2 Mounted Park Rangers who rode over briefly as we ate, and that was, of course, a lovely bonus


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

AlexS said:


> I need more info about what you are looking for before I can offer advise. Small, large? Outside vendors, inhouse? Dance floor? Outdoor, indoor etc etc.


Inside, about 100 - 150 people. Dance floor, room for sit down meal, must have a bar... umm I would love if they did catering but I am open to bringing in an outside caterer. I have my own dj. 

See these are the things I need to know to think about lol.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

NBEventer said:


> Inside, about 100 - 150 people. Dance floor, room for sit down meal, must have a bar... umm I would love if they did catering but I am open to bringing in an outside caterer. I have my own dj.
> 
> See these are the things I need to know to think about lol.


Do you see yourself in a golf club, or fire house? Does it need to be pretty? 

I am thinking that some kind of golf club/country club sounds like it would fit with what you want. 

For me, I wanted to feel like I was in a fancy living room, so I got married in a very old B&B, in their front room.


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## crimsonsky (Feb 18, 2011)

omg - bought a dress! just had to share. i hope planning is coming along well for you ladies!


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## Northernstar (Jul 23, 2011)

Congratulations, crimsonsky! What a stellar day!!! I couldn't wait until the last fitting and bring mine home, hang it up in my room, and dream about our big day aproaching! I'll never forget the look of adoration on my husband's face as I walked up the aisle when he_ finally_ got to see it - so excited for you!


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