# How to not be an unwelcome boarder?



## SteadyOn (Mar 5, 2017)

Hmm. The last time I boarded at a full service barn, the only chores we were expected to do were just basic etiquette: if your horse poops in the aisle, clean it up. If you make any kind of mess while you're there, clean it up. And always, always, always sweep the aisle after you've used it. 

And if you *happened* to be around during turn out or bringing in, you helped as a matter of courtesy.

That was it. Other chores were done by students who were working off their lessons, but that was a separate thing.

If you were supposed to do certain chores, the barn owner should have gone over them with you when you signed your boarding contract. However.

Since that's not the case, talk to them directly. Let them know you're confused about what the expectations are and that you want to make sure you get things right. If what they want sounds like too much, say something. You're paying for a service, and they should be trying to make you happy at least as much as you're trying to make them happy.

Other stuff that's basic etiquette: don't touch anyone's things, leave things exactly as you found them, ask permission before borrowing anyone's stuff, take criticism/advice gracefully, and never ever gossip.


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## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

ACinATX said:


> I'm also not very good at unwritten rules. For instance, I signed a contract when I boarded my horses and was told that this is a "full service" barn, but then later I was surprised to find out that I was expected to do chores also. This was a general expectation, I guess,
> 
> 
> 
> How would I know?



This doesn't sound right to me.


Did your contract say you would be doing chores? If it doesn't, then I wouldn't do them. Or have the barn owners issue you a new contract.



HAVE EVERYTHING IN WRITING. The contract should clearly state what services and supplies the barn providers, and what the owner is expected to provide. There should be no questions.


So I would be having a meeting with the barn owners. 



Everything else is common sense. Golden rule (treat others as you want to be treated), leave things better than you found them (don't leave your horse's poop mess for someone else to clean up) and don't touch stuff that isn't yours (without asking for permission).


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Until this summer when my horses moved home, I'd only ever boarded. I was at two barns that I would call "low drama," fortunately. In addition to the big three ideas above (1. Be nice and stay out of stuff that's not your business; 2. Clean up after your horse- poop, hair, stuff picked out of feet, poles or other arena equipment; and 3. Don't use other people's things and don't touch their horses), I'd add a few others:

1. Always pay on time. Always. 

2. Always have expectations clarified in writing- e.g., do you have to hold for your vet/farrier or does the barn? I royally offended my last BO without even realizing it by not using her farrier. Turns out she had an unwritten rule that she would hold for the farrier if an owner couldn't be there, but I didn't like missing appointments. Since she scheduled for the whole barn, I could rarely make appointments because of work, so I found my own farrier so I could schedule around work. I truly didn't mean to be critical of her barn farrier- he only did my horse once- but I just wanted to be more hands on than a lot of other boarders.

3. Decide what level of "social" you'll be at the barn. My work schedule is nuts, so when I was at the barn, I was there to see my horses and ride. A lot of other people- perfectly nice, friendly, interesting people- were there for the social stuff first, with their horses being an excuse for the socializing. I was always happy to go out on trails with others who were there and wanted to ride, but I was not going to wait around for an hour while people chatted and slowly got tacked up. I would sometimes make plans ahead of time to ride with a person or a small group, but my priority was on the horses. Sometimes that made me feel like a bit of an outsider. I was always friendly with people, and they were always polite to me, but I was definitely not part of the "hanging out" gang.

4. Keep your opinions about other boarders to yourself- how they train their horse, how they ride their horse, how they care for their equipment, when they blanket, how they shoe. All those "hot button" horse issues seem to get magnified in a boarding situation. Don't gossip about so-and-so using _THAT bit_ or little Jenny who is bopping around bareback on her OTTB without riding him "in a frame." If you have a decent BO, he or she is keeping an eye out for things that are dangerous to horses or humans, and it's not your job to share your opinion on those kinds of things unless you or your horse are put in a potentially dangerous situation.


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## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

Hmmm, that doesn't make any sense. If it's a 'full-service' barn...I'd expect just that, FULL service.

My place is a full service barn, I only provide my feed, that's it. 

What kind of chores are you doing exactly? Of course I clean up after my horse. For example, if she poops in the cross-ties (daily occurance lol)...I always clean it up. I keep my space nice & neat, etc. 

There ARE some people that do chores (clean stalls, help feed) to save money on board and lessons. 

I would speak to them about the contract you signed though. They may be able to clear it up for you.


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## AnitaAnne (Oct 31, 2010)

There is an old saying...When in Rome, do as the Romans do. So observe what the other long term boarders do, and try to do similar, within your physical and time constraints. 

There are definitely lots of unwritten rules at boarding facilities, and the biggest issue is, most of them change depending on the barn and even a change in the boarders. 


If your barn has an unwritten rule that everyone helps out, I think it would be best to figure out what type of help is wanted. Can be everything from trail clearing weekends to fence repair to helping stack hay. I have done all those things and more. Boarders buy new lights, repaint stalls, buy additional hay, maintain fencing that their horse is in, etc. 

Every boarder barn here expects help from the boarders. I do not live in a wealthy community and board cost is low so people can _almost_ afford it. The only way they can stay in business is if people help out. 


What I would NOT DO is demand a meeting and demand that the required help be written up in a contract. That will get you kicked out quicker than anything!


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## csimkunas6 (Apr 18, 2010)

Having chores at a barn when you're paying for full care sounds absurd to me, of course cleaning up after yourself is expected IMO but not chores?! Different barns, different rules I guess....anyways, as a former barn manager, Ill give my opinion of a perfect boarder, again, this is my opinion!

Pay on time, clean up after yourself, come to the barn, enjoy your time, go home and dont worry about everything. Not only was I this type of boarder, but this was my ideal boarders at my barn, nothing wrong with being social and or unsocial with everyone else, but no need to be rude or a drama starter, there's no need for drama at the barn, everyone is there for the same reason (for the most part) Horses!

I found boarders come in all types, you'll have your social butterfly who stays out at the barn pretty much 24/7 and will follow everyone around and want to talk nonstop, and you'll have people that try to avoid others at all costs, again nothing wrong with either but for me personally, I found the happy middle to be the best option for myself!


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## α CMa (Dec 5, 2018)

I don't really have anything helpful to add.

The barn were I board is a private barn, meaning that it's pretty much someone's backyard. There are two other boarders there that do "extras" without it being in the contract and without being asked. They do those "extras", such as building a gravel dry-lot (yes, they are actually doing that) as "favors" to "get on her (the B.O's) good side" and "get recognition and accolades." The B.O. really doesn't like this kind of mentality.

I do "extras" - things that aren't in the contract and without being asked. However, the extras are more like "courtesies", like fixing a fence if my horse broke it or sweeping the barn aisle.

Anyway, just something to think about if you are going to do "extras." If you do do "extras", make sure you do it for the right reasons.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

Don't leave a mess in the aisle, grooming, tacking areas. If you make a mess, clean it up. For instance, I clip my mare twice a year. It makes a gawd awful mess in the grooming stall when I do. I make sure I sweep up every.single.hair that I clip off and pick her poos and put them in the bucket and then hose down the area to make sure I don't leave any mess behind. 

Put your tack away (assuming you have a tack room and assigned space), don't leave your hard hat hanging on one of 2 available bridle hooks when you leave. If you use any barn equipment, clean it up, put it back where it belongs. 

When I have my mare at the trainer's, I ride pretty much every day. So when I take her out to groom and tack up, I grab a fork and pick her stall real quick. I like to put my clean mare back in a clean stall. I check her hay and water when I go in to take her out. If she needs either, I just go get a flake of hay and fill up her water buckets. 

In the indoor, if she poos while we're working, I grab a fork and bucket and pick up whatever is in the footing. It's this specialized, really expensive stuff, you don't want to leave poo down to get ground into it. Is that my job? Not hardly, but it's considerate of the owner, the workers and other riders. 

Never gossip about anybody. If someone starts, say, "Excuse me, I'm really short time today and need to get to working with XXX (your horse)." and walk away. 

Leave it cleaner than you found it. It's not unusual to find me sweeping the barn aisle, just because. 

If you have a question about whether something is ok or not, ask. Same with any "chores", if you don't know, ask. 

Don't scream at your horse. That is one of the MOST annoying things anybody can do, especially in a small barn. 

Always greet everyone at the barn with a smile and a "How y'all?", even if you keep on walking, they'll feel welcomed and greeted and like they're important to you. If you don't want to talk or don't have the time, just say so. There's nothing that says you have to be on my time, your time is important too. If you're in a bad mood, smile anyway. It'll help you get out of your bad mood.


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> In the indoor, if she poos while we're working, I grab a fork and bucket and pick up whatever is in the footing. It's this specialized, really expensive stuff, you don't want to leave poo down to get ground into it. Is that my job? Not hardly, but it's considerate of the owner, the workers and other riders.


So funny how every barn is different- at the last place I boarded, which also had that really expensive rubber tire blend footing, boarders were asked _not_ to pick poo in the arena because BO saw too much of her expensive footing ending up in the muck bucket, so only she picked so she could do it how she wanted with minimal waste.


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## ManicDaisy (Dec 13, 2018)

Unstated rules are the hardest. I dealt with a ton of them moving to hawaii. 

Maybe watch what other people do, and take cue from there?


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## mmshiro (May 3, 2017)

I once started a threat about "barn chore expectations" and I have definitely an ambivalent attitude about them. In theory, I'm a full fare-paying boarder, and only lessees are required to volunteer a certain number of hours per month helping out. On the other hand, there are chores that I've been requested to take on and which I thoroughly enjoy because they help me to learn. For example, there is an out-of-work horse with a split front hoof, and I've been partaking in his care almost daily: handwalk him, groom him, iodine on his hoof crack, Coppertox on the feet, make sure he's got hay, water, and a clean stall when mud forces him to lodge inside temporarily. The fact that he's a personable horse doesn't hurt, of course, and my horse still comes first. 

Where I tend to bow out is with janitorial assignments such al cleaning up anything other than the mess I made - unless it affects the welfare of a horse: I will not leave one without fresh water, for example. If I'm standing around and a girl is putting on the saddle while her horse poops in the aisle, I have no problem tossing it in the muck bucket for her before her horse has a chance to spread it out. That's not a chore, that's like picking up someone else's wallet or papers they just dropped.

So I tend to stick to my contractual obligations unless there is something (of interest) in it for me, or it really just amounts to a gesture. 

In an *emergency*, I have been known to take care of the entire barn (on request) - food, water, blanket modifications...the works, for all 20 horses. Again, horses' welfare supersedes paperwork.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

mmshiro said:


> while her horse poops in the aisle, I have no problem tossing it in the muck bucket for her before her horse has a chance to spread it out. That's not a chore, that's like picking up someone else's wallet or papers they just dropped.


ROFL, only a horse person would feel like that! :rofl::rofl::rofl:


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

egrogan said:


> So funny how every barn is different- at the last place I boarded, which also had that really expensive rubber tire blend footing, boarders were asked _not_ to pick poo in the arena because BO saw too much of her expensive footing ending up in the muck bucket, so only she picked so she could do it how she wanted with minimal waste.


I don't ever see anyone but me and her doing it, so I suspect that she may have asked others not to. She's usually with me when I do it, and she knows I'm an old hand with picking and not wasting bedding or footing.


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## humanartrebel1020 (Nov 12, 2018)

I think everybody should be responsible for themselves and pick up there own slack. If everybody can do that there would be no mess. Do you have any current people youd call friends at the barn? Do you talk to the barn owner??


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

ManicDaisy said:


> Unstated rules are the hardest. I dealt with a ton of them moving to hawaii.
> 
> Maybe watch what other people do, and take cue from there?





I have often wondered about that. It seems that a lot in Hawaii is sort of just understood, IF you are on the 'insiders' club. And, that isn't easy to do. I could feel this, even as a visitor. And particularly if you are a Haoli.


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## ManicDaisy (Dec 13, 2018)

@tinyliny

So much this. The first year you live here is hellosh because people are so mean to you. They expect you will leave & hope you do as soon as possible.

Nowadays I’ve blended in. But any time you join a new community here, you get the same cold shoulder. 

When the vet came out to look at one of the horses I care for, he didn’t even look at me. Neither did he introduce himself. He just muttered to the vet tech. And when the farrier showed up and well, the farrier and vet tech talked to one another like I wasn’t even there.

They clearly thought I was someone they would never see again.

So I hung around as long as possible, until it was just me and the farrier, and asked her a bunch of questions and built rapport.

Now I have an in w the farrier. And Uncle Stu (who owns one ranch) likes me. But that’s because he’s seen me come around every day. 

The biggest thing is if I talk to a horse person, I gotta sound legit.

I’d say, “I watch two horses who stay up at Uncle Stu’s. Their owner went to the mainland”

That phrasing shows 1. Mild pidgin, 2. A criticism of people who move to the mainland, and 3. Understanding that no local would Ever refer to Uncle Stu’s Land as “Hatchett Ranch.”

Lol. 

All communities have ways to show who is “inside” and who is “outside.” Hawaii is just more obvious.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

When we first went to Kauaii, I really, really loved it. But, over time, I started to realize that island life would not suit me. I would not do well with such confinement. And, the cold shoulder. no thanks.


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## CharlotteThePenguin (Apr 2, 2016)

I don't think it should be 'expected' of a full-boarder to do chores (besides cleaning up after you and your horse, etc., as others have stated) especially if it's not in your contract.

However, sometimes I do things to help out just because. At an old barn I was at for a long time I always wanted to help out. When I first got there I was younger and I didn't have a horse of my own, so I would do anything if it meant getting to stay with horses for longer. However, it eventually grew into BO asking me to do things every once in a while, which eventually led to me being asked to bring the horses in and feed them because BO (who was also the trainer) was running late and didn't want to get behind on lessons. I had my license at that point, so she expected me to come to the barn early to do her job. And I got nothing except the occasional "thank you" in return. I enjoyed the chores until it no longer became my choice to do them.

Now, I'm not saying all BO's are like this, but just be careful if you do decide to do chores. If the chores start taking up your riding time or you feel like you're being taken advantage of, I would speak to BO about it.


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## imagaitin (Apr 27, 2012)

I am currently boarded at a private home. Their barn, their rules, no drama. Great owners, great manager, and really nice boarders. I love it and am thankful to be there.

BUT.... I have been in a large commercial barn with many horses, all riding disciplines. The owners were great, and tried hard to please. My horse is "low maintenance". As for me, as long as my horse is fed, watered and mucked out once a day, you won't hear a complaint from me. I had no problems with service provided. If I thought my horse needed something above and beyond (rarely), I did it myself.

I did have to get used to those who are just unfriendly and snobbish. I will re-phrase that and say.... I tolerated it. Some will always remain unfriendly, so it is not worth the argument or effort. I could go into some pretty horrific details, but... bottom line, we will always run into other riders who think "they know it ALL." We have all heard different opinions on the best farrier, the best chiropractor, the best vet, the best trainer, and the best way to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. And many (face it, mostly women) think they are experts on EVERYTHING, usually with a snotty comment connected. 

So, search out the people who are like minded with you! Make them your friends (or at least barn friends). In dealing with others, TRY to stay pleasant and respectful. Don't be part of the drama, keep a smile, and just enjoy your horse. (*Note*: I admit; I messed up a few times... Darn it.) There will *always* be those who won't like you. I do my best to keep to these "rules", and at least I am happier with myself.


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## KigerQueen (Jun 16, 2013)

in arizona people do not handle or touch or feed other people's horses UNLESS they are given permission by the horses owner. so the only thing you are responsible for is your horse, their care and their pen and messes they make. at my current full care barn i dont have to do anything unless i want extra bedding or feed fed. NO ONE turns my horses out. no one would (or honestly can) take my horses out of their stalls. IF i REALLY wanted it i could pay the stall cleaner to turn them out but thats almost and extra $100 a month and if he turns all 4 out in the same arena (odie is a jerk) that is a huge vet bill. NO ONE is to feed my horses because they are old and need to be fed a certain way. Barn guy knows this and is the only one aloud to feed because he knows this.

i would ask that if its a full care facility WHY do you have to do choirs? tell them that they need to stat what and who is responsible for what what days. that's how horses get fed twice or the wrong foods. (mine did at a place like that. nearly founderd her because she is a fast eater and a good beggar)


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## Kriva (Dec 11, 2015)

To me full service means just that...they do everything with the exception of picking up after the horse owner. Most of the time I've seen price lists that will say something like Full Service - includes, xyz $450 per month. Additional costs for, holding for farrier, blanketing, etc... Each normal expected service is stated and each additional cost service is stated. I would think that if extra chores on the part of the boarder were expected, they would have told you up front. One barn I leased at did not expect boarders to help out, but would send out notices if there were going to be "barn clean up days" to ask for volunteers. This would be for more major clean up, like tree trimming, fence maintenance, painting, etc...


At the last barn I was leasing at I unknowingly committed a wrongdoing. The horse I was leasing was moved to this new barn and I was shown the ropes but not given all the rules. One day after riding I was grooming and un-tacking the horse when she decided to pee in the crosstie stall. These are concrete with stall mats on top. I knew enough (without being told) that I needed to wash off the urine. It just so happened that it was also a hot day and I had planned on spraying down the horse to cool her off anyway so I figured that I would do both the clean up and spray down at the same time. No one standing around said anything about it. But a few days later I got a message from the horse's owner saying that she needed to meet with me. Apparently someone there tattled to the BO that I had washed the horse in a stall which was not ok. The BO then called the horse owner and complained to her about what I had done and asked her to speak to me. I get that it was not OK with the BO to "wash" a horse in the stall (even though I just ran water over her back and legs), as there is a specific wash rack area, but you would have thought that someone standing there would have said something to me instead of going through two other people to get the message across.


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## Persephone2015 (Jun 5, 2015)

I'm a boarder at a private place. The owner is a roper, has a roundpen, arena, and several of his own horses. He also occasionally trains, and helps with the local high school rodeo team. He tends to have a lot of those teens with their horses there all the time. 

He buys the hay, and feeds twice a day. Waters as well, and pens are cleaned occasionally. Horses are have stalls with large runs attached so they have the freedom to come or go as they please. I believe I may be one of just a couple people actually paying for full board. He typically has the kids work off their horses boarding by doing chores or odd jobs around his 'ranch'. Because of this, I don't often do any of the extra chores at all. 

I'm not into competing, and my horse is likely the only non-papered, non-quarter horse there. I don't 'fit in' with the rest of the people who are generally there. However, I do feel very welcome there. Why? Because I'm one of the few boarders who typically show up every day to see my critter (he has had another boarder who he has seen twice in the last 5 years. Boarding payment is still sent to him by the owners). I've shown a genuine interest in the other horse owners activities of roping, barrel racing, etc, but I don't get in their way. I absolutely pay on time, every month. I've quickly learned who likes to be chatty, and who would rather be left alone. I may not be their typical boarder, but they see that I care about my horse, and that I'm responsible.


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## my2geldings (Feb 18, 2008)

For us here in Canada boarding is very different. Everything is full service regardless of where you board. Select few might have a working agreement to work off their board, but outside of that, it's not optional like stables in the states. Your horses are fed, and their stalls cleaned, horses blanketed etc. Outdoor board vs indoor will be a different price obviously but shy of that it's always "full service".

Common courtesy of cleaning up after yourself is a given. Outside of that the expectations are always the same anywhere you go.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

my2geldings said:


> For us here in Canada boarding is very different. Everything is full service regardless of where you board. Select few might have a working agreement to work off their board, but outside of that, it's not optional like stables in the states. Your horses are fed, and their stalls cleaned, horses blanketed etc. Outdoor board vs indoor will be a different price obviously but shy of that it's always "full service".
> 
> Common courtesy of cleaning up after yourself is a given. Outside of that the expectations are always the same anywhere you go.


I only started hearing about "self serve" or partial board stables very recently, like in the last 5-7 years. Never heard of them before that. Only difference I ever knew of what stall board (in the show barn) or Pasture board, for horses not in training.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> ROFL, only a horse person would feel like that! :rofl::rofl::rofl:


Yeah, that one got me to cracking up too. Only a horse person.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

To me, if I were paying for full board, I would expect to go get my horse and do what I want to with it. I would then clean up any messes, water my horse if I see it needed some and then ask if I can throw it it's hay. I would not expect to do extracurricular activities. To me full board is horse is fed by the barn with food that is provided by the barn. Full pasture board would be all of this except for the stall. If stalled, shavings would be provided as well. Partial board to me is when the B/O does all of said work but boarder provides the food to be fed. And then there is self board. What you are paying for there is a place to put your horse and that is it. Owner of the horse takes care of everything.

Where I board, it is essentially self care, but, the B/O will feed for me when I'm gone and I will help her with the care of her horses when she is gone. 

In all of these scenarios, the only thing required is what is agreed upon. Just tell me what is expected and it's done, I don't do well with unwritten rules either. Basically with me, if you can't ask for what you want then you will probably do without it. Also, I am not going to pay board to keep my horse in any of these scenarios and then only have the time to do barn chores while I'm there. I'm there first and foremost to be with my horse.

I am a nice person though. If I see that you dropped a pile of papers or horse poop, I'll help you pick it up.


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