# Persuasive Essay, help!!!!!



## omgpink (Aug 16, 2008)

So I have to write a persuasive essay for school tomorrow and then read it to the class, o joy! I decided to do it on Supporting Deer Hunting, since I know no one else would do that. I have my first paragraph and I would like to know what you guys think? Then I'll post the other four after I'm done. So here you go:
When most people think of deer hunting, they think, their just hunting for the fun of killing, some might even call enjoyable leisure sport. But imagine this, having to wake up between 3:00 and 5:00 in the morning, drive about hour or two, sometimes more, to the hunting land, pay $100 or more (if you don’t own your own land), then you walk a mile in the freezing weather to deer stand, by the time you get there, your body is basically numb, to top it all off, you sit in the twenty foot deer stand until the sun goes down, most likly not killing anything. Does that really sound like an enjoyable leisure sport? If it wasn’t deer hunting, the deer could become a big problem. 

Thanks to anyone who could give me advice or whatever! :]


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## moomoo (Feb 21, 2007)

sounds good  i did a fox hunting one which started with something like
Everybody knows that foxes are (something), pet murdering pests... lol
we were taught A FOREST (cant remember what it all stands for i will give it a shot...
Anecdotes (lil stories)

Fact
Opinion (represented as fact
Repeat
E - erm ? i cant remember! lol
Statistics (make um up)
Triples


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## Moxie (May 28, 2008)

Is that your exact wording?


I would progress after that paragraph into how the deer could become a pest when over populated, and how hunting keeps the population down a tad.


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## omgpink (Aug 16, 2008)

Thanks! :] haha, yea I'm making most my statistics up, their to hard to find! lol
Heres my second par. it's kind of long but my teachers says thats good! lol


If the deer population gets over populated, they could become a big problem and possible an econmic nuisance. Deer are one of hte most unpredictable animals, espically when dealing with automobiles. You miught be driving down the road, day or night, and out of no where a deer jumps out in front of your car, you hit it. Not all of the accidents come out with a fatality or injuries, but they are still dangerous. In a county outside of Washington D.C. had 782 reported accidents in 1192, and by 1995, the number or accidents rose to 1,244. Deer are highly capable of spreading disease, such as Lym, which can be found in ticks that have been on deer. If someone is bitten by one of the invected ticks, it could be fatal, espically if they are old, young, or in poor conditions. There was almost 500 reported cases in Masachusettes in 1996. Another problem of over poplulation is that the deer could eat out their food supply and our crops. If this happens, it could be a big problem for farmes ans the deer themselves. Not only do they eat our crops, they even move in on the golf courses, eating the grass. One golfcourse owner stated that the deer out $51,000 worth of his landscape in 1996.


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## omgpink (Aug 16, 2008)

yea, those are my exact wording!


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## Moxie (May 28, 2008)

Alright, I'd check and then recheck spelling and grammar. I would also revamp the first sentence in your second paragraph. I am a huge nitpick when it comes to grammar. I will read my work at least 5 times (yes, for real) to be sure that everything sounds okay.

Over all, very good topic! Very inventive.


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## omgpink (Aug 16, 2008)

Yea I took the last sentence out of the first paragraph and put in at the first sentence as the second parah. Yea I'll go through my grammar once I get finished! And thank you! :]
3rd par. about to come!!!


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## omgpink (Aug 16, 2008)

I don't like this one:
Because of man, the deer population has gotten very over populated. When the first Europeans came to American, there weren’t nearly as mnay deer as there are now. Even thirty years ago, we didn’t have as many deer roaming around as we do now, this is because we have kille out their natural predators. Between 1938 and 1950 in Vrigina, people wanted to ‘restore’ the deer population, but in 1970 the number of deer began to out grow the enviromental capacity. When we began to grow crops, the deer began to live longer due to the fact that they could easily find food and have enough of it for quit a while. Deer, unlike many other wildlife animals, find a stat of happiness being around humans, they tend to ‘follow’ us wherever we go, so to speak. Over the years, the deer relized that we could provide them, but it could be cost towards themselves. 

I know a lot grammar errors!


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