# Old story



## faiza425

First, it's not _awful_ like you're making it out to be  I enjoyed it! I'd love to see more and find out more about how the prologue fits in with the rest of the story.


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## towboater

Good writing.


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## liveluvride

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.
Here's some more of the story.

My alarm clock buzzed loudly at 5:00 Monday morning. I slapped the cold plastic and slipped into my breeches and boots. Hurriedly pulling on a sweatshirt, I ran down the stairs, taking a banana from the bowl my dad had left on the table. Then I shoved a couple of mints for Pride into my pocket and burst out the door. Breathing in the clear, cold morning September air, I checked my phone -- 5:11. I had my routine down -- I did it every morning, even on school days. Except on weekends, I could stay at the stable all day to practice. On school days, I had to settle for 2 hours before school and however much more practice I needed after.
I turned on my iPod and started jogging the familiar path to the stable. I had only recently convinced my dad to allow me to go on my own; an overprotective parent ever since my mom left when I was a baby, my dad had insisted on driving me to the barn at 5 am every morning and having Kat’s mother drive me to practice right after school before coming to get me at 7 pm on his way home from work.
As I arrived at Forever Farms, I glanced around quickly for any signs of Valerie. Nothing. I hurried into the barn, waving at Kat as I grabbed my tack and helmet from my locker. 
I walked down the barn aisle and peered into Pride’s stall. As usual, he was lying flat in the straw, fast asleep.
“Wake up, buddy,” I called softly. Pride made an undignified scramble onto his feet and glared at me accusingly. 
“He had to get up sometime,” said Alex from across the aisle. Her main horse, Phantom Shadow, was already tacked up and his sleek black coat gleamed. I laughed and pulled a piece of hay out of Pride’s mouth. After quickly grooming and tacking him inside his stall, we were ready in seconds. I unlatched the door and led him to the arena. 
“Oh, look what’s finally here,” snarled Valerie from atop her huge dark bay Holstein, Prince’s Legacy. In addition to her tall gelding, Valerie also owned a light grey mare and a chestnut stallion. Carlie and Tina, never far from her side, stood their horses next to her and glared at me. Ignoring them, I tightened the girth and swung into the saddle. Alex and Kat pulled up next to me.
“I think she’s nervous,” whispered Kat, “she’s been unusually nasty today.”
I nodded and moved Pride out to the rail. He calmly walked around until I tightened my legs and asked for a working trot, then a canter. I practiced extending and collecting his canter until Lauren strode out to the center of the ring.
“Alright, everyone,” she shouted in her I’m-a-terrifying-instructor-and-you’d-better-listen voice, “today’s going to be a tough one.”
Kat and I simultaneously rolled our eyes.
Lauren went on, “We’ll be doing a little jumping today. This will be the course.” 
She walked over to a high course of eight fences. I went over the order in my head-- Red vertical to blue oxer, sharp right turn, (enormous) liverpool, (scary) triple combo, (unwelcoming) yellow spread, vertical with flowers (that would surely spook Pride).
“Tina, you’re up first,” Lauren said, “be careful, as always, and go for the clear - don’t worry about speed.” 
Tina heeled her horse, Dynasty, forward and sharply turned to the first fence. I cringed- she always pushed around her beautiful light dapple gray gelding, as well as her other horse, a bright bay mare. It was hard to watch. 
Sadly, Tina and her horse executed a perfect clear round.
Lauren waved Kat on next. I watched as she gently urged Lady on to each fence and didn’t exaggerate her movements. They quickly flew over each obstacle and finished clear.
Kat grinned and Carlie began her round. She owned a light chestnut mare named Kandiebar, and was beginning to train a steel grey stallion, but he was nowhere near the skills of her mare. Carlie actually was a good rider and completed the jumps with no major flaws.
Lauren signaled to me to take the course next. I adjusted my helmet and pushed my heels down. I gave Pride a circle to settle and then pointed him at the first fence.
One, two, one, two, I counted strides in my head. I reached forward into two-point and slowed his stride for the next vertical. Pride leapt it easily and I shifted my weight for the Liverpool, a low fence with a wide pool of water below it. Before I knew it, we were up to the second-to-last fence. A giant spread, this jump always had daunted me. As I lost focus staring at what we had to tackle next, Pride took advantage of my lapse of attention and dramatically sped up.
No, no! I thought as I sawed on the reins to slow him. The spread was looming way too quickly, and I knew I had no hope of getting him back to appropriate speed in time. Instead of trying, I just rode with him. He approached the fence at a near gallop and launched into the air. I held my balance as best as I could and tried to hold him up for landing. He hit the ground heavily, but continued on and jumped the final vertical without a problem.
Lauren nodded and waved Valerie onto the course.
Valerie and Prince’s Legacy were a perfect match. Prince was as conceited as his owner. However, they were always in the ribbons with their highly polished skills. 
They completed the course easily and in good time and Valerie lined him up with the others wearing a smirk on her abnormally arrogant face.
Lauren went over each of our rides and then said to us, “I think it would be more beneficial if you all just worked on your own faults individually, instead of having a group lesson this morning. You all can have the next hour or so to practice what you need to fix on a show jumping course on your own. Use this course of jumps here, and see you all this afternoon!” She flashed a quick smile and disappeared into the barn.
The six of us all jumped the course a couple more times. I stayed focused and held Pride back at each fence. Eventually, we agreed to stop and cooled our horses.

“Wasn’t that fun?!” Kat exclaimed as we led our horses to the stable. 
“You and Lady were amazing,” I told her.
“Good decision with riding with Pride instead of against him,” she praised. We untacked and let the horses into a paddock to graze. Kat and I said goodbye to Alex and sprinted down the road to the nearest bus stop for our public school, while Alex, Carlie, Tina, and Valerie all piled into a carpool to Braxton Private High School (poor Alex!).

Remember, crit is always welcome!


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## liveluvride

Sorry I haven't put up any more of the story in the last few days, school just started for me and its been a little crazy! 
Here's Chapter 2, will put up chapter 3 tomorrow.
Thanks for reading, and I appreciate any critiques or advice that you have to offer!!
~liveluvride 

_Chapter 2_​ 
 I moved through the day counting down the minutes. I for the most part enjoyed my classes, but sometimes, especially when I had qualifiers in less than a week, I just wanted to practice.
 Kat apparently felt the same way.
 “When is this going to be over!” she hissed to me in 9th period, math class. I shrugged and stared at the clock. Seven minutes left until three pm, the end of school.
 To make the whole waiting situation worse, the bus ride home was taking _forever_.
 “So, you want to practice together today?” Kat asked. “We could warm up the horses by doing dressage first, and then go out to the cross country course and cool them with a trail ride. I’m so glad that we already practiced jumping today so we can just relax on the trails for a while! We haven’t done that in ages!!!”
 “No kidding,” I agreed. “I’ll meet you at the stable at three- thirty?” Kat nodded and we hopped off the bus at our stop. I jogged towards my house and thought over my lesson with Lauren that I was going to have this afternoon. She had promised that we were doing dressage, and I needed the work, but Pride _hated _dressage! He loved anything with jumps and speed, like show jumping and cross country. Still, he tolerated dressage enough to be good at it, and I hoped that the lesson that afternoon would go smoothly.


 _Finally! _I thought as I burst into the house. It was empty; my dad would pick me up from the stable on the way home from work at 7 pm. I took a bag of pretzels, changed into my riding clothes, and met Kat a little way down the block. 
 “Hey,” she greeted me, “ready for some INSANE practicing?”
 “Yep!” I said, “ Bet you Lauren’s going to say that we didn’t do enough, after we practice for 2 hours.”
 Kat tilted her head. “What did she say she was doing with you in your private lesson today?” 
 “Dressage,” I answered, “you?”
 “Cross country again,” she responded.
 We chatted about the upcoming qualifiers until we reached the fence to Forever Farms. I typed in the code to open the gate and we walked over to the barn. Lady’s stall was three stalls over from Pride’s, so we led the horses out of their stalls and clipped them to two pairs of cross-ties that were next to each other. Kat and I laughed about something or other as we grabbed our grooming kits, saddles, bridles, and saddle blankets from the tack room. I petted Pride’s forehead and gave him a hug.
 “Hello, boy,” I told him, “I haven’t seen you in- I don’t know, 7 hours?”
 He whinnied and rubbed his nose on my arm, leaving a long trail of slime on my new jacket.
 “Pride!” I groaned. Kat snorted and continued grooming Lady.
 I curried Pride’s red bay coat and swept the body brush over him to make him shiny and soft. Then, I grasped my hoof pick and ran my hand down his leg.
 “Up,” I commanded. He cooperated and picked up his hoof, allowing me to gently clean the dirt and rocks inside. I finished the rest of his hooves and placed his hunter green saddle blanket over his withers and slid it into place. I lightly lowered the saddle down onto his back. Seconds later, the bridle was in Pride’s mouth and we were ready to go!
 Moments later, Kat pulled the reins over Lady’s head and was set.
 “Come on!” I called to her, bringing Pride to the main dressage ring. She hurried her horse along and was right behind me as I easily mounted and adjusted my stirrups. 
 “Want to practice the dressage test for the qualifiers?” Kat yelled. 
 I gave her a thumbs-up and said, “I’ll go first-- you be judge.” She settled herself right outside the ring on Lady and carefully watched me. About a week ago, the dressage test for the pre-qualifiers on Saturday had arrived in the mail, and I had been studying it every night as I lay in bed. Now, Kat would judge my skills during the test just like a competition. It would be a great show prep for Saturday.
 I entered the ring at a working trot and gently pulled Pride to a smooth halt at the center point of the ring, _X_. I saluted ‘crisply’ (as Lauren always yelled at me) and urged Pride into a smooth collected canter. I rocked lightly in the saddle and turned him across the diagonal. We approached the center of the diagonal line across the arena. At this point, Pride and I were supposed to pull off a flying lead change. During a flying lead change, I had to command him to change leads--in the air-- at the exact center of the ring. 
 Pride tugged his head forward. I gently pulled back and got his head back up. Seconds later, I would ask. _Now! _I thought as we got to _X_. I pulled Pride’s head to the left and moved my right leg behind the girth. Pride instantly took off on the left lead and I relaxed in the saddle. After we lapped the ring twice at a sitting trot, I circled Pride 40 meters and did a half-pass at the sitting trot. Next, I asked Pride to perform a shoulder-in and he did so with ease. I squeezed--_hard_-- with my calves and directed my horse into a slow gallop. We cruised down the long side of the arena and I checked him back into a canter. After, I cantered him around the ring and asked him to switch to the “incorrect” lead for the countercanter, a movement which required Pride to lead with the outside foreleg instead of the inside as he cantered around the arena. Finally, we performed the final salute at the free walk.
 Kat applauded. “Brava! Bravo!” I laughed and walked Pride out of the arena.
 “So, how bad was I?” I asked.
 Kat looked at me seriously. “Honestly, that was pretty much perfect. But when you’re doing the shoulder-in, just watch that he doesn’t get unfocused. His ears were flicking all over the place! Also, right before the lead change, he pulled his head forward-- the judges won’t like that.”
 “Thank you,” I told her. “You’re up next!”
 She rode into the ring and began her round. As soon as she made her first salute, I knew the ride would be perfect. And it was! Lady was obedient and Kat was still in the saddle. All of their circles were enviably round and their hard work practicing definitely showed.
 While I watched Kat perform the test, I began thinking. If she rode like this, she’d definitely ace the qualifiers. How did that affect me? Did I want her to do well because she was my best friend, or did I want her to not ride her best because she was my competition? I sighed. There were only 5 opportunities to be given to 5 riders out of the entire east coast at this qualifier event. Only the top 5 riders at the eventing show would go to the final qualifications. 
 Kat finished and led Lady up to me where I was waiting by the gate.
 “How was I?” she asked, breathless.
 “Perfect,” I said, not hesitating. And she had been. I made an agreement in my mind to always see Kat as a friend, and never competition.
 “Let’s go to the cross-country course!” she exclaimed. I nodded and we led our horses to the well-worn trail of the advanced course.

 “Ok,” I said as we got to the top of the hill, the starting point of the trail, “let’s organize ourselves.”
 Kat nodded attentively.
 I continued, “I’ll go on the course first, and you’ll come after me in 5 minutes. We’ll meet in the meadow by the creek and discuss our rides.” Kat gave me the thumbs-up and motioned for me to start the course.
 I settled myself in the saddle. Because Kat and I had ridden this short cross-country trail so many times, we didn’t need to study a course map. It was to my advantage that I knew every shadow, every place where the ground was soft or sticky, every tree that birds always fluttered out of. Pride and I were _so_ ready!
 “And, GO!” Kat cheered. I heeled Pride forward and we raced down the trail. I slowed him to a fast canter and pin-pointed the first obstacle. This log was the first cross-country fence I had jumped one day when I was 11. Pride checked his own stride--rare-- and took off at the exactly right time. I rose into an automatic release and gave him plenty of rein to land. Then we headed into the woods. I sped Pride up for the next fence made of two broad wooden boards. We cleared it and cantered up the next hill. My horse had so much stamina after our intense training sessions with Lauren that I barely had to slow him as we climbed the steep incline. We splashed through a narrow creek, leapt our way through a difficult log-triple-combo and raced to the finish that Kat and I had created one day when we first started cross-country. It was a narrow line in the dirt that had 2 flower boxes on the ends. We had begged Lauren to let us put it there, and she had eventually agreed. I smiled at the memory. Pride put on a huge burst of speed as we reached the end of the course (as I had spent hours training him to do) and we crossed the finish line at an unbelievable pace. I hauled Pride to a stop before he could run me right into the creek that ran along the edge of the meadow. He snorted and danced from foot to foot.
 “Calm down,” I told him, dismounting. I held onto his reins and began to walk him in lazy circles. I’d let him cool down while we waited for Kat.
 Minutes ticked by. Bored, I led Pride to the creek and threw rocks into the trickling stream of water. More time passed. I checked my phone. Kat had been on the short course for 10 minutes! Where was she? 
 _I’ll wait 5 more minutes,_ I thought, trying to push away the worry in the pit of my stomach, _then I’ll go look for her._ 


 The 5 minutes seemed to draw themselves out, just like math class. I jumped to my feet and grabbed Pride’s bridle, then put my foot into the stirrup and swung up into the saddle.


 I trotted Pride down the trail. We passed the finish line and continued into the woods. My horse suddenly threw up his head and let out a suspicious snort. 
 “Pride, stop that,” I told him, “this is important!”
 He ignored me and tugged impatiently on the reins. And as soon as I rounded the turn to the triple log combo, I saw why.
 Lady lay sprawled on the ground, Kat feet away from her. Both were totally still. One of the logs had a huge crack in the center. The other lay on its side, as if something heavy had landed on top of it. And right beyond the splintering combo lay my best friend and her horse.


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## ColortheSky

Oh my gosh! What happened to Kat and Lady!? I can't wait until the next chapter!


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## liveluvride

Thanks, I'm glad the story's keeping you on your toes! haha 
Here is Chapter 3.
_Chapter 3_​ 


 I completely froze. Should I go to Kat or Lady first? Then Kat raised her head.
 “Maddie!” she cried, “I wanted to go find you, but I couldn’t!” 
 “Why not?” I asked.
 She motioned to Lady. “I couldn’t leave her here!” _Good decision, _I thought as I looked at the gorgeous, proud, tall mare laying in the leaves. She suddenly didn’t look as tall.
 My dad had taught me to always take control in a situation like this. “I’ll call Lauren on my cell phone. She’ll come out with her trailer, we’ll take Lady back, and then we’ll call the vet.”
 Kat nodded. 
 I pressed speed dial 3. “Lauren!”
 A tired voice answered. “What? I was just getting some paperwork done. These show registrations are a _nightmare!_ They-”
 “Lady’s hurt!” I shrieked into the phone. I explained the whole situation.
 “I’ll be there with the trailer right away. Can she stand up? And is Kat okay?”
 Oops. In all the worry over Lady, I’d totally forgotten about the other end of the accident!
 “I don’t know. Come pick us up, please. Quickly.”
 “On my way,” Lauren replied.
 I snapped the phone shut and grabbed Lady’s reins and gave Pride’s to Kat. 
 “I’m going to try to get her up,” I said. I grasped the leather tightly in my hands. 
 “Up, girl,” I said to Lady, “please. It’s for your own good.” Lady snorted and rolled over, putting her legs under her.
 “That’s it. Come on.” Kat encouraged.
 Lady gave a heave and pulled herself to her feet. Kat and I cheered and I glanced down at the horse’s legs. Uh-oh. Her left foreleg was swollen and hot to the touch.
 “Leg issue,” I called to Kat. She put her head in her hands.


 Lauren drove her huge trailer into the narrow clearing. She hopped out of the truck.
 “Okay, girls. I’ll take over from here.” She took Lady’s reins from me and I took Pride’s back from Kat. Kat hurried to Lady’s side. Lauren supported Lady’s left shoulder and moved her into the trailer.
 “You might as well take Pride back this way, too.” She said to me. I tied my horse up in the trailer and climbed into the truck.
 “What do you think is wrong with her?” Kat asked Lauren tearfully as we drove carefully back to the barn.
 “I don’t know for sure, but she might have possibly pulled a tendon, and she has some pretty bad scratches.” Lauren replied. 
 The car was silent for a few moments. “How about you?” Lauren gently asked Kat, “did _you_ get hurt?”
 “No,” Kat said. But I knew she was lying. I could always tell when she wasn’t telling the truth, being friends with her for 14 years.
 I glanced at Lauren. She nodded slightly. “We’ll get you checked out anyway.”
 The short ride from the farm to the course seemed to take _forever. _Lauren immediately ran into the barn to get the vet’s number.
 “You two stay here and get them out of the trailer. Kat, you stay here with Lady. Maddie, you go bring Pride into his stall and untack him. Once he’s groomed you can come back out and see what’s going on.”
I shot her a look like, _seriously?_ “Fine,” I said. I lowered the trailer ramp and led Pride backwards out of the trailer. He was a true show horse; as soon as he saw the ramp being lowered, he began whinnying shrilly like, _when do I start? _
 I almost smiled. “We’re not at a show, buddy.”
 I quickly led Pride up the aisle into his stall and untacked in record speed. I informed him of the situation and groomed him quickly.
 “Sorry, I’m rushing,” I apologized, “but I need to find out the news on our friends.” He nudged my arm. I hugged him back and latched the lock on his stall door.
 “I’ll be back later,” I promised.


 When I got in the stable yard, the vet truck was parked in the parking lot and a man in a white coat was examining Lady’s legs. Kat was squatting on the ground, concentrating on his words. Lauren motioned for me to come over.
 “Bowed tendon on left front, major bruising, stitches; she's lucky,” she hissed to me. I nodded and focused on what the vet was saying.
 “Now, she’ll be fine, but she needs can't be ridden for at least two months,” he told Kat. Kat’s look of disappointment and sadness was enough for me to almost burst into tears.
 “Awww, no qualifiers for you,” laughed Valerie as she walked by. Where had she come from?!
 “Excuse me?” I asked her, “Are you _happy _that Lady is hurt?”
 “Well, of course!” she said brightly, “Less competition!” 
 I wanted to smack her. Really badly.


 Having heard about the accident, Kat’s parents came to the stable and insisted on taking Kat to the hospital and having her checked out. Kat resisted, then finally agreed if she could get Lady settled in her stall first. She disappeared into the barn, then reappeared about 15 minutes later and left with her mom and dad.
 I visited Pride and checked on Lady, then waited in the parking lot for my dad to pick me up. Eventually, his old silver Toyota rolled into the property. I climbed into the front seat and told him about _everything_ that had happened that day, from the jumping lesson this morning and the never-ending math class and Kat and Lady’s accident and how I had missed my lesson this afternoon but didn’t really care. 
 My dad listened quietly as he drove to our house. Then he asked me a question.
 “The qualifiers are this weekend, right?”
 “Yep.”
 “Who’s driving you?”
 I automatically responded. “Kat.”
 Then Dad made a fair point. “But if Kat and Lady got hurt, is she really going to want to drive you from Long Island to Virginia just to think about what she is missing?”
 Oh, my, God. I’d totally forgotten about that!
 “You can drive me, right?”
 My dad sadly shook his head. “No, remember? We talked for months about this! I can come and watch you ride, but I can’t drive you in time. I’ll be at a huge meeting for work; my boss said he can let me off a little early, but I can't leave early enough to get you there on time!"
 “But I never willhave a chance to be in the Olympics if I miss the pre-qualifiers!” I wailed. I knew that my dad felt bad about the predicament, and was doing his best, but I couldn't hide my disappointment.
 "Isn't Alex going?" Dad asked me, "can't you drive with her?"
 "She is taking the pickup truck with Lauren, so she has a trailer to tow her horse. There's only two seats, and her parents are in Hawaii so she has to go with Lauren."
 Dad was resolute on getting me there. “Aren’t there three other girls on your team who are going in the same car? Couldn’t you go with them?”
 Valerie, Carlie, and Tina were all driving to the show together in Valerie’s mother’s car. There was no way that I'd get into that car without someone dragging me in by force. 
 My father knew what I was thinking. “I know you hate those people, but it may be the only way to get to that show. And that show is pretty much one of the most important things in your life, right?”
 I absentmindedly nodded. If that was the only way, I’d do it. But I’d really prefer not to drive with the Snobs and their supervisor. 
 That night, I laid in bed thinking about how uncomfortable the car ride would be. And Valerie’s mom would definitely agree to drive me. It was funny; Valerie was creepily nasty, and her mother was creepily nice.

More will be up tomorrow! Thanks for your comments!!


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## liveluvride

Sorry I haven't been posting, I promise I will put up the next chapter tomorrow afternoon!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## liveluvride

_Chapter 4_​ 


 Tuesday morning, I sprinted to the stable and got there earlier than usual-- 5:04 am. I looked around for Valerie, as was my routine. No sign of her yet. I heard a loud neigh coming from the barn. Pride! I rushed to his stall and gave him a comforting hug.
 “Bad dream?” I asked him. He bobbed his head up and down.
 “I’ll be right back,” I said to him, “I have to check on Lady.”
 I hurried down 3 stalls to the left until I reached Lady’s. She was leaning against the side of her stall, and let out a friendly nicker as I stuck my hand out to pet her neck. Kat wasn’t around. 
 “Where’s your owner?” I asked Lady. I heard someone moving around in the tack room. I kissed my hand and placed it on Lady’s nose. I would never again kiss a horse’s nose after Pride had nearly split my chin by raising his head while I had been doing it.
 I moved to the tack room and saw Kat’s familiar blonde head bent over her grooming kit.
 “Hey!” I called. 
 She looked up and smiled slightly. “Hi.” There was a lavender plaster cast molded around her wrist.
 “Break?” I asked simply.
 “Yup,” she replied. I knew she didn’t like drawing attention to herself, so I let the subject drop.
 “How’s Lady?” I asked, “I checked on her on the way over and she seemed happy.”
 “Yeah, she’s fine. I’m icing and hosing her leg like, every 5 minutes.”
 “Do you want to come over at seven tonight? My dad can pick you up when he’s driving me home. We can talk about…. stuff.”
 For the first time in a while, Kat smiled. “I’d like that.” I grabbed my helmet from my tack box and said goodbye, heading back to Pride. 
 “Hello, mister,” I said as I got to his stall. I clipped him to a pair of cross-ties in the barn aisle and groomed him super-thoroughly. Then I tacked up and met Alex outside of the indoor arena. The rain was pouring down so we were practicing here, instead of outside.
 “What’re we doing today?” I asked her.
 “Dressage,” she responded happily. Her and her horse Phantom Shadow _loved _to do dressage. 
 “’Kay,” I said. We walked into the arena and began warming up. Throughout the entire lesson, I kept Pride focused as Kat had advised yesterday and rode as well as I could. It was definitely weird not having her and Lady in the ring with us. After running the test a couple of times, we stopped the practice in order to catch the school bus.

 When we started cooling down our horses, Lauren said, “I’m extremely proud of all of you. You all have worked incredibly hard to get where you are now, and I cannot believe I was blessed with the good fortune to have 5 riders going to the first Olympic qualification round! As you probably all know by now, Kat will not be competing with us on Saturday. She had an accident yesterday while practicing, and I sincerely hope that she will be invited to the qualifications next year.”
 To my surprise, Carlie and Tina looked actually and genuinely upset that Kat and her horse had gotten hurt. Alex, of course, looked sad also, but Valerie just smirked. Anger boiled inside of me and I wondered how I would survive the car ride all the way to Virginia with someone that was such an exercise of self-control.


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## Clydesdales

it's absolutely SPECTACULAR I love <3 it


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## liveluvride

Thanks so much, Clydesdales! It really means a lot that people are enjoying my story  This is the next chapter; the group will be attended the pre-qualifiers pretty soon, so keep reading!! Any comments are appreciated!


 CHAPTER 5
I sighed as I waited for my dad to pick me up at 7 pm. During my lesson that afternoon, Lauren had practiced the dressage test with me for the last time before the qualifiers. She had helped me perfect it, and I’d hosed Lady’s legs for Kat while I was here.
 My dad pulled up in his car. “Hop in,” he said. I peered into the backseat window. Kat!
 “Hi!!” she said, patting the seat next to her. I sat down and told her that I had hosed Lady’s legs.
 “Thanks so much,” she replied, “I did it right before and after school, but my parents said that was enough.”
 “Did they say you could have dinner with us?” I questioned. She nodded and my dad spoke next.
 “So, I heard about the accident.” Kat’s smile faded.
 “Dad, please drop it. Not right now.” My dad glanced at me in the rearview mirror and I jerked my head towards my friend. He immediately understood and Kat took up the conversation.
 “Thank you for picking me up, Mr. McCarthy,” she said politely.
 “No problem,” he said, “so, you two, how was school?”
 Kat and I launched into a hysterical story about our English teacher’s fear of bugs and were laughing for the rest of the drive home.


 My father pulled into the driveway and Kat and I sprinted from the car into my house. I lived in a simple house in a friendly residential area. My dog, a female reddish-brown Husky named Sienna, greeted us enthusiastically as we walked up the stairs and into my room. 
 When I turned ten years old, my dad let me redecorate my room. I had chosen a white carpet and soft blue walls. There were a couple of beanbag chairs in one corner, and a mini fridge filled with sodas, water bottles and apples in the other. My pretty white sleigh-bed was right against the window. 
 I strode right up to the beanbag corner and plopped down into a chair. “Sit,” I ordered Kat. She took 2 Sprites from the fridge, handed me one, and sat down next to me.
 I got right down to business. “Tell me what happened on the cross-country course.”


 She took a sip of her soda and began, “Lady and I were doing perfect until the creek. When we went through it, there was a deep spot and Lady, well, she didn’t like that.”
 “Go on,” I encouraged.
 She resumed her story. “So, Lady got spooked, and then she took off-- I couldn’t stop her, and then at the triple combo, we took off way too early. She knocked it and it split in half, and then her hoof got stuck in the board. She got it free, but fell onto the next jump.”
 I cringed. “Ouch.”
 “Exactly. So she went down and I got thrown off. I couldn’t really get up for like 5 minutes but I couldn’t see Lady, and I was freaking out and I turned so I could see her and to tell you the truth, I wish I didn’t. She looked so… depressed and all.”
 I gave her a hug. “That must have been so scary, not knowing if I would come anytime soon and you probably thought Lady was dying or something.”
 Kat nodded and looked down. We chatted for a while until I jumped to my feet. “Come on, the spaghetti’s got to be almost finished.”



 “Girls, could you set the table?” My dad called as we descended down the stairs. 
 “Sure,” I called back. We prepared the place-settings and Dad served the pasta. Within minutes, we were all seated around the table with steaming plates in front of us. 
 “So, did you inform Kat of how you’ll be getting to the show?” Dad asked me. His light blue eyes were gently teasing, but I knew he was really sorry that the only option of transportation was driving with Enemies 1, 2, and 3. 
 Kat looked interested. “What?”
 “Oh, I’m driving to the show in Valerie’s car with her, her mom, Carlie, and Tina.”
 Kat’s mouth fell open. “That’s going to be a disaster! Poor you!”
 “I know.”
 My dad took a deep breath. “Actually, honey, I have something to tell you….” He paused.
 “Shoot,” I told him, taking a bite of spaghetti.
 “Umm, well, it’s 3 day eventing. You’re going to have to stay in a hotel.”
 Confused, I looked at him.
 “Originally, when Kat was going to the show also,” (he shot her a sympathetic glance) “Lauren was booking the last 3 available rooms-- 1 for Valerie and Tina, one for you and Kat, and one for her and Carlie. Now, since Kat’s not getting to the show, Valerie’s mother asked Lauren if she could room with her. So… as it turns out, you’re going to have to share a room with Carlie.”
 “No!” I exclaimed, “Why?! I can survive driving with them for a few hours, but I can’t share a room with one of them for 3 days!”
 “What about Alex? Is she staying at that hotel?” Kat suggested.
 Dad shook his head. “I already spoke to her parents; they’re going to a family reunion that weekend, and they are staying at Alex’s aunt’s house. So she is going to stay there and commute a bit longer to the show.”
 Desperate, I gave it one more shot. “Can’t we just—“ 
 My dad shot me a _We’ll talk about this later _look, and I closed my mouth. The rest of the meal was calm on the surface, but with an easily felt undertow of irritation. As soon as Kat went home, I sighed and tramped up the stairs to bed.


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## Clevelandbays64

This is soooo good!!......


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## liveluvride

Thanks, Clevelandbays64, I really appreciated your comment ​​​​_Chapter 6_​ 
 “Wake up, Maddie,” a soft voice spoke in my ear Thursday morning. 
 “Wha?” I mumbled. I blinked open my eyes and focused on the blurry person at the end of my bed.
 “Dad, why are you up so early?” I asked. 
 My father smiled. “I felt bad that I’ve never seen you ride lately, and barely seen Pride, so I asked my boss if I could take today and tomorrow off to come to the stable with you. He felt bad about making me go to that meeting, so he let me.”
 It was official; I had the best dad in the universe.
 “You’re amazing!” I told him, hugging him around the neck. “I’ve got to get dressed; I’ll be down in a couple minutes.”
 6 minutes later, we were walking out the door. My dad insisted on driving me (“We might as well!”) ‘because he could’, but we both knew he just didn’t want to jog the three fourths of a mile to the barn. We arrived quickly and ran to the stable.
 “Pride! Come wake up and say hello!” Pride, with his coat covered in straw, stuck his head out his stall window and whinnied delightedly. 
 My dad shuffled his feet. “Umm, what should I help you with?” My dad was _so_ not a horse person. 
 “You remember last time I taught you how to groom, right?” He nodded. “Okay, let me get him onto some cross-ties, and then you can help me with that.”
 We groomed together and I really enjoyed having him there with me. I hadn’t seen much of Dad lately because I was always either at the stable or at school, and it was nice to show him around ‘my world’.
 “Yo, Maddie!” Kat burst through the stable doors and jumped onto me in a hug. “Oh, hi, Mr. McCarthy.”
 “Hello, Kat,” Dad responded, “Maddie’s teaching me her morning routine.”
“Nice!” Kat cried. “Got to go--I’ve got to take care of Lady. ‘Bye!” She ran off and Dad laughed.
 “Always full of energy, huh?”
 “You have no idea.”
 Minutes later, I had tacked up and Dad followed me to the ring. Lauren was there, and she warmly greeted my father.
 “I’m afraid that you won’t _directly_ be able to see Maddie ride today, Paul. We’re doing cross-country. I take the golf cart and keep an eye on them as they move through the course, if you’d like to come along.”
 “I’d love to,” Dad responded cordially.
 Soon, everyone was gathered in the arena. Lauren informed us that we’d be having a competition to see who could ride the course fastest with no penalties. I looked at Valerie. I _so_ wanted to beat her. Apparently she felt the same way; as soon as our trainer announced the competition, she snarled at me and turned her back. Prince stomped his hoof. 


 Lauren led us out to the cross-country course. The sun shone bright and the cloudless sky was beautiful, but I couldn’t focus on it. The last time I was here on this course, Kat had been injured. I was nervous that the same thing would happen to someone else. Lauren and my dad got a head start in the golf cart, moving ahead on the trail. When we rode, each of us would start our watches as we took off, and then stop them as we crossed the finish line. This would determine who rode fastest.


 Tina’s gaze focused on Carlie, who we’d elected to begin. “And, go!” Kandiebar took off at a swift canter and they hopped the first log with ease. After 2 minutes, she gave the signal for Alex to leave, then Tina herself left after her. I was next.
 Valerie motioned me forward to begin. I shortened my reins and tried to calm Pride down so he wouldn’t burst off the starting line like a racehorse. “Go!”


 Pride started at a smooth canter, and we propelled over the log with feet to spare. We entered the dark, shadowy woods at a steady pace and didn’t slow up the hill. Pride sped up and pulled his head forward as we approached the creek, but I ignored his loss of focus and kept a watch for deep spots in the clear water. We didn’t come across any. We cleared the triple combination that had given Kat some… problems and galloped to the finish.
 “Nice job,” Lauren said as she drove past, “fastest time so far, I believe.”
I nodded my thanks and walked Pride in circles to cool him down. I joined Alex by a huge oak tree and Valerie galloped over the finish line minutes later. Right after she finished, the golf cart came into view. 
 Everyone dismounted and formed a circle around Lauren.
 “Okay, let’s discuss our rides. Carlie?”
 Carlie stared at her blankly.
 “Any problems on the course?” Lauren prompted. “Any questions?” 
 “There were no refusals and we didn’t clip anything, but I noticed that I had to really slow Kandiebar up the hill. In a competition, that could add a lot of time to my final score.”
 Lauren nodded. “Endurance is highly important to any horse’s career, and that could definitely be a deciding factor in placing. Keep working with her on that, and when you ride the course at the show, be sure to keep her going fast up the hills, then let her recover once you get onto flat land. That way, she‘ll get her breath back faster.”
 Carlie agreed and Lauren shifted her gaze to Alex.
 “When we did the log combination, Phantom refused the second element. I knew that he usually tries to do that on a cross country course, but I let up the pressure after the first element and we didn’t recover in time.”
 “It’s good that you realized what you did wrong, and I know that you will never make that mistake again.” Lauren replied. Alex nodded vigorously and Tina spoke next.
 “We handled everything very well,” Tina started. “there were no problems-”
 Lauren cut in. “You may have had no refusals or technical problems, but your time was very slow. You _must _speed up Dynasty—you have a tendency to over-ride, which is unnecessary, and yet you let him go at whichever speed he chooses. That will cost you in a competition.”
 I winced. Lauren had been unusually tough, and I was up next for critiquing. 
 “So, issues?” Lauren asked me. I thought about my ride and thought of a problem I had.
 “When Pride and I were about to cross the creek, he started speeding up and lost his focus. If we were near a fence and he I allowed him to get distracted, we could have had a refusal.”
 Lauren looked at me thoughtfully. “That is a dangerous situation. If he lost his focus and you were going over a fence, there could be an accident. If you need to keep his attention on a course, do a half-halt or something-- _anything_-- to keep his attention on you.” I thanked her and listened to Valerie.
 “My ride was fantastic. Prince and I completed the course in good time, we had no penalties, and his focus didn’t drift once. We are completely ready for the show, and there is nothing we need to fix on this course.”
 Lauren was frowning. “No rider should ever, _ever_ say that a ride was perfect. There is always room for improvement. Your course may have been well ridden, but I noticed that Prince began slowing up as you neared the finish line, like he knew the course was over. Those seconds that you allowed him to slow made Maddie’s time 2 seconds faster than yours. An area of improvement for you would be to speed him up over the finish line, instead of slowing down. I noticed that one rider trained her horse to run full out over the finish line, without special directions. That was a great idea.” She nodded at me. I turned bright red and looked down at Pride’s mane. 
 “Alright, you can all go back to the stable. Please walk all of your horses back along the trail to allow them to cool off properly. All of you worked extremely hard today, and I am confident that you all will perform well at the qualifiers. We will not be having morning lessons for a while, even after the show is finished, but each of you will still have a final show prep with me in the afternoon at your usual lesson time. On Saturday, your first class, dressage, begins at five o’ clock pm. I suggest that you come to the barn by 5 am, we’ll get the horses finished loading by 5:45, and you’ll all be on the road by 6. It takes about 8 hours to get from here to Virginia, so you should get to the show grounds by 2 pm. That should give you plenty of time to get settled and warmed up before your class.”
 She left and I grabbed Pride’s reins. Dad walked up to me and we conversed easily as I led Pride back to his stall and left for the bus stop. Tomorrow was our last chance to prepare for the show, but I felt ready.


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## Clevelandbays64

Can't wait to read what happens next  .


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## Clydesdales

Love it


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## liveluvride

Thanks everyone for your kind words, I've been trying to upload the next chapter but my laptop has been freezing every time I open the Internet, and that's the only place I have the story saved. I have to look into getting it fixed 😔
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Clydesdales

Can't wait till its uploaded


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## aussiemum

I only just found this thread and read the whole lot in one go. Loving the story so far. Cant wait to read more


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## liveluvride

Thanks so much everyone! It's really amazing to know that people are enjoying my story 
more will be up later today or tomorrow, I was able to fix my computer so it's being less temperamental!

 Friday. The day before the qualifiers. Even though I didn’t have a morning lesson, I found myself awake at five AM anyway out of habit. I walked across my room to my closet and searched for the perfect clothes to bring to Virginia. I pulled out my black dressage coat and white breeches, tall black boots, and the rest of the formal dressage attire that all riders were required to wear. Then I chose my hunter green cross country clothing and black body protector, and took my navy show jumping coat from its hanger. I packed some sweatpants for grooming before the show, pajamas, and toiletries. I’d pack up Pride’s stuff in my tack box after I rode this afternoon. 
 After I finished packing, I had breakfast for once and actually took the school bus to school instead of a normal public bus. I _hated _taking the school bus-- it was so disgusting! I smiled at Kat’s expression as she walked down the bus aisle and saw me sitting there. She greeted me enthusiastically and we laughed for the entire bus ride. 


 “Officially _worst_ school day ever!” I informed Kat. All day, I had been unable to focus with the show looming. Each second seemed like an hour. I told her all of this.
 “You have to get your dad to tape all of your rides and take tons of pictures,” Kat said, “I really wish I could see you ride! Make sure you call me a lot and tell me how you’re doing.” 
 “I will.” I promised. “Look, we should get to class.” We had been loitering in the hall for nearly 5 minutes, and math was starting in 20 seconds. We jogged down to room 429 and sat in the back of the classroom. I definitely wouldn’t be paying any attention today to Mrs. Moore and properties of a parallelogram. 


 “Finally!” I exclaimed to my dad when I burst into the house after school. He gave me a hug and we left for the stable as soon as I changed into my riding clothes.
 Pride got a super-grooming today and I tacked him up slowly, pausing every so often to rub his nose or scratch his neck. 
 “We’re going to do great tomorrow,” I told him, “I’m positive about that.” He nuzzled my back and we walked together to the indoor ring, where Lauren was waiting for us.
 “Hi, guys,” she greeted. “Is your dad coming to watch?”
 “I’m right here!” he called from behind me. He climbed into the bleachers and took a seat near the front.
 “Okay, we’re just doing a simple prep today. We’ll run the dressage test once, take a jump or two, and then just do some basic flatwork. Not anything difficult, but it’ll be good not to push you and Pride too much the day before a major show. This minor practice will be great just to keep you two on your toes.”
 I agreed completely. I definitely didn’t want to do anything difficult and risk Pride getting hurt. We were _this close_ to the qualifiers.
 Lauren asked me to perform the dressage test. Pride smoothly completed every movement and I was proud of him when he didn’t lose focus once. My instructor praised the ride, and we moved on to jumping a simple course of 5 fences. We cleared each jump with ease and though Pride rushed a bit, I was able to slow him down in time and it didn’t affect the rest of the course. 
 After, we did some easy flatwork. My horse was attentive to my commands and I stayed glued to the saddle. The show that could change my life was tomorrow. We were ready.
 I lifted the saddle off my horse’s back and removed the bridle from his mouth. Dad raved about how well we would do tomorrow. I loved how he had that much confidence in me, but I was feeling a lot of pressure. Of course, I would ride my absolute best, but was my best good enough? I groomed Pride well and my dad went to talk to Lauren. 
 I brought Pride to his stall and stood with him in the straw. I hugged his neck for a few seconds and then left him to get a good night’s sleep. 
 Eventually, I finished packing my tack box with everything Pride would need for the show and left the stable at 9 pm. 3 hours until show day!


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## liveluvride

_Chapter 7_​ 

 _Beep! Beep! Beep! _My alarm sounded at 4 am. I clicked it into the ‘off’ position and stretched. Pushing back the comforter, I swung my legs over the side of my bed and groaned. Then a single thought popped into my head.
 _The show’s today!_
 My feet padded silently down the carpeted hallway to my dad’s bedroom. I leaned over his slumped, sleeping form and whispered to wake up. He opened his eyes, and I said goodbye before I left. Promising I’d call him as soon as I arrived at the show grounds, I took my suitcase and jacket, put on my boots, had a quick breakfast, and walked the path to the barn. Today, I would be completely _on._
 “Hey,” said Carlie as I entered the barn. She walked, bleary-eyed, to Kandiebar’s stall with leg wraps in hand. Apparently, she was too tired to be nasty. I hurried to the tack room and grabbed black thread and a sewing needle to braid Pride’s mane. I hadn’t given my horse a bath, only because it had been chilly the last three days. I’d just have to groom him super-well this morning. 
 I looked over the stall door. Pride lay sprawled on the ground, fast asleep. Low snores emitted from his nostrils. He was _not_ going to like waking up this morning!
 “Pride,” I called, “wake up! We’re going to a show!” He raised his head and glared at me. 
 “Show! We’re going to a show!” I reminded him. He immediately scrambled to his feet and stuck his nose into my chest. Prancing around and huffing through his nostrils, he finally looked awake. Shows really brightened him up. I buckled his halter into place and clipped him to the last free pair of cross-ties with a sigh. Braiding always took forever; I really should have done it last night. I combed Pride’s mane to silky smoothness and began the never-ending braiding process. 45 minutes later, I was finally finished. Pride’s mane now was held in sophisticated rolled up braids, and his tail was correctly plaited and tangle-free. 
 A few minutes later, I had groomed Pride to a shining red. 
 “Time to get you ready to load!” I informed him. He rubbed his cheek against my jacket and I bent down to wrap his legs in his hunter green trailer wraps. If Pride banged around in the trailer, they would protect his legs. After I had done all 4, I wrapped his smooth tail in a tail bandage to keep it clean and covered him in a green trailer blanket. 
 Outside in the stable yard, chaos was ensuing. Dynasty was refusing to walk into the trailer, Valerie was screaming that her hoof polish was missing, and Carlie and Alex were yelling for everyone to please hurry up and load, because their horses were getting anxious waiting. I led Pride next to Alex and he seemed to calm Phantom Shadow down. Eventually, everyone was prepared to get the horses into the trailers. With a groan and rolling my eyes at Alex, I followed Tina, Carlie, and Valerie to their 4 horse trailer. Valerie’s mother was waiting in the truck and got out when she saw us.
 “Why, _hello!_” She exclaimed to me as I loaded my horse without an issue. I fake smiled at her, said ‘thank you’ for driving me, and got into the backseat with Tina and Carlie. Valerie sat in the passenger seat up front with her mother. I inched as far away from Tina, who was next to me, as I could and stared out the window. This was going to be _so_ awkward. 


 Everyone was silent as we got onto the parkway and began the route to Virginia. Mrs. Clairton’s expensive, high-tech GPS called out directions in its cold, steely voice._ It sounds just like Valerie,_ I privately thought. 
 “So, I’m so glad that we can all drive together! We’re all such good friends here!” Mrs. Clairton exclaimed. Valerie, Carlie and Tina and I all shared a look. We were _not _all good friends here. They were. I was the outcast. Carlie laid her head against the window and closed her eyes. Apparently, the two other evil ones thought this was a good idea, because suddenly the three of them were asleep and I was having a forced and awkward conversation with Valerie’s mom.
 “So, honey, what is your horse‘s name?” She asked me.
 “Pride. His show name is Pride in Hunyuwatt.”
 “Was he expensive?”
 _What?!_
 Mrs. Clairton continued, “Valerie’s horse was terribly pricey. However, to get the best, you must pay the price!” She flashed me a false smile in the rearview mirror through scarily whitened teeth. “So, what did your horse cost?”
 _I got him for $5,000 when he was barely trained under saddle, _I thought, _just because he was cheap, does that mean he has no talent? _Official: Valerie’s mom was creeping me out.
 “Umm, he was an average price,” I said, “nothing too expensive.”
 Valerie’s mom absently nodded and said, “Why don’t you get some sleep, dear. I’ll wake you all up at the show.” I agreed and leaned against the window, watching the nearly empty roads slowly fill up with cars as the day progressed. Soon, I found myself slipping into sleep.


 I woke up to whispering and laughing. Oh-evil-ones were cracking up together-- as soon as they saw me looking, they abruptly closed their mouths. I glared at them and asked to no one in particular, 
 “Should we get out and lunge the horses?”
 Tina answered, “I guess so. We’ve been in the car for 3 hours.”
 Mrs. Clairton pulled into a random grassy clearing on the side of the road-- there was a lot of unused space around where we were. I had no idea at all which state we were in; I’m terrible with directions and maps.
 Banging sounded from the horse trailer. We hurried out of the truck and lowered the trailer ramp. Pride’s black tail swished from side to side agitatedly. 
 “Hello, mister,” I said, “let’s back out of the trailer nicely now, and I’ll give you some exercise.”
He slowly walked backwards down the ramp and I grabbed his lead rope. I pulled him to a trot, and ran alongside him so he could stretch his legs. After about twenty minutes of exercise, I walked him back to the trailer and saw that the rest of the group were tying their horses back in the trailer. I finished up with Pride, latched the trailer ramp, and clamored back into the car.
 “We should really stop for something to eat, and to use the bathroom,” Mrs. Clairton announced.
 “Whatever, Mom,” Valerie responded.
 Ten minutes later, we were at a rest stop, and people were gawking at the trailer attached to the truck. 
 “Umm, I’ll have a small hamburger and lemonade, please,” I told the person at the register. Mrs. Clairton ordered a chicken salad.
 “Hey, Carlie, want to split a side salad?” Tina asked. Carlie nodded, and they ordered the salad and 2 bottles of water. Valerie ordered nothing.
 I pulled out my wallet, and took the food in the to-go bag. We used the restroom and walked back to our car. Next to everyone else, I looked like I was eating like a pig. Oh well. Just because I wasn’t anorexic didn’t mean I would fail at the show. 
 After giving the horses more hay and water, we left and drove for 5 hours straight, no stopping. I continuously asked if we could go stretch out the horses, who were pretty restless in the trailer, but Mrs. Clairton said they would be fine, and to please stop talking so she could make a few phone calls. I was really worried that Pride might get too impatient and dent the Clairton’s surely billion-dollar trailer.

More is soon to come! (by the way, do people actually take the horses out and lunge them on a long trailer ride? I had absolutely no clue; I've never shown somewhere more than an hour away! Any advice would be appreciated!)


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## Roadyy

Alot of it depends on the horse and how long the trip is. For an 8 hour trip then I would not let them out unless it was a high spirited horse that hasn't been on many trips. If they are used to being hauled regularly then no stretching. With these horses being show horses I doubt very seriously if they would risk stretching them out on the side of the road or rest area along the way.

If it were an over night drive then I'm sure they would have pre-arranged a stopping place to get the horses out somewhere set up for them.



Very good story, btw.
I hope you can continue it to the end.


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## liveluvride

Thanks so much roadyy, that makes a lot of sense! I am going to edit that segment and eliminate the stretching stop.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## liveluvride

Ok, so I edited out the section about stretching the horses on the side of the road (the more I think about it, the worse of an idea it sounds )
This is the next section, enjoy!!


 “Almost there!” Tina squealed later, waking me up. I checked out the window-- definitely Virginia. I’d slept for 5 hours?! Looking at my phone, I found out that it was 2:06 pm. Pretty good timing. 
 “Okay, girls, the hotel we’re staying at is right next to the show grounds, so let’s get the horses settled and then get to our room.”
 The horses were staying at rented stalls on the show grounds; it was _really _expensive, but the convenience was worth it. We reached the show parking lot and occupied a trailer parking space. Leaving our equipment in the car, we backed the horses out of the trailer and followed the signs gesturing to the stalls. They were sheltered by a humongous white tent, and were rapidly filling. 
 “Quickly, everyone, we have to meet Lauren at stall…. #19,” Mrs. Clairton announced, checking her phone messages. We filed in behind her as she pushed through the crowd. Just as we were getting kind of panicky because we’d been searching for 10 minutes with no stall #19 in sight, I spotted Lauren waving her arms wildly at us to come over. I alerted Mrs. Clairton, Valerie, Carlie, and Tina and we walked over to say hello.
 “I thought you guys forgot about the opportunity of a lifetime!” Lauren laughed, “You’re all so late!”
 _Yeah, 10 minutes late, _I thought.
 “The stalls we rented have your horses’ and your names on them, so just go find them. They’re all right next to each other, so I’m sure Alex can show you where she settled Shadow in.”
 Alex brought us to a row of large, airy stalls. I took Pride into the one with his name on it and began removing his blanket, leg wraps, and tail wrap. As they fell away, I let out a sigh of relief to see that Pride was still shining clean and his braids were all intact. Eventually, I finished up and brought a flake of hay and a bucket of water to the stall.
 “Let’s see,” Lauren said, “it’s 2:39 now, and your first class starts at 5. You can all go to your hotel rooms and unpack, but I want you all back here at 3:15 _sharp._ We’re already cutting it close with the time, but I decided you all really should unpack and get dressed in a quiet, peaceful area to get the correct mindset for the show.”
_It’s not going to be quiet and peaceful for me, _I thought, _I’m sharing a room with Carlie._
 “3:15 sharp. You all understand?” Lauren barked. We vigorously nodded and hopped in the car to get to the hotel. It took about 4 minutes to get there, and we quickly got our room keys and leapt into a leaving elevator. I followed Carlie to our room. A small, cheery space with light sage walls, I normally would have loved where we were staying. But the frosty silence that hung in the air definitely dampened the mood a little.
 “Let’s unpack quickly so Lauren doesn’t have a conniption,” I said, surprising myself that I had made the first move. Carlie forced the corners of her mouth into a pained-looking smile. At least she was trying to be polite, but I knew she was as mad as I was with the choice of roommate we had been assigned.
 We threw our clothes into a small wooden dresser in record time and I stepped into the bathroom to get dressed. Pulling on my dressage clothes, I mentally readied myself and thought of all of the tricks Pride usually pulled during a show. I made sure to remember all of them, not wanting to end up like Alex on the cross country course, who failed to remember that Shadow would pull out during the combination.
 When Carlie and I had both put on sweats over our clean dressage clothes and gathered our tack boxes, we waited in the hallway for everyone else to emerge from their rooms. 
 “Oh no!” Tina squealed in the car, “Look at the time!”
 Everyone glanced at the clock. It was 3:14!!!
 “Mom, hurry!” Valerie commanded. I considered briefly about how rude she was to her mother. That sparked my memory.
 “I was supposed to call my dad!” I exclaimed to no one in particular. I pulled out my cell, scrolled down my list of contacts, and hit send. My dad answered immediately.
 “Is everything ok?”
 “Fine, but when are you coming?”
 “I’m on my way.”
 “Love you.”
 “’Bye.”
 Dad must have known I was in a hurry; he kept our conversation quick and to the point.
 A guy in bright orange pointed the car to a near-filled parking lot just as the time ticked to 3:15. We collected our tack boxes and raced to the stalls.
 “Right on time,” Lauren announced, nodded approvingly at us. I sighed in relief. The last thing I needed would be to have my trainer flip out on me. Alex arrived 2 minutes late, but Lauren didn’t seem to care (what a miracle!). The group all headed to get our numbers and sign in to the show grounds. I drew number 475 and found that I was 3rd to go in dressage.
 That meant I’d better get Pride ready, now!


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## Clydesdales

It's getting better and better!


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## liveluvride

Thanks, Clydesdales. I'm so sorry I haven't uploaded anything recently, I've had a very busy week with school and I had a show over the weekend! The next chapter will be up tomorrow, I promise! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 40232

This is absolutely terrific! I need more!


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## liveluvride

Thanks SO much KylieHuitema!!  ok, so for this section I had a bit of trouble... I'm neither a dressage nor an eventing rider, so I wasn't really positive on what a good-but-not-unrealistic score would be. If anyone has expertise in this area, please let me know if the scoring is really inaccurate!!

_Chapter 8_​ I hurried to our section of stalls and almost slammed into my horse’s flank. Forever Farms’ head groom, Michael, had him tied to a tie ring and spotlessly clean. His red-bay coat shone like fire, and I noticed a few of his braids had been redone. I called out my thanks to the groom, who had moved on to picking out Phantom’s feet. He raised one hand in acknowledgement. 
 I pulled my shiny black dressage saddle out of my box and carefully placed it on top of a spotless white saddle pad. I lowered the blanket and saddle onto Pride’s glossy back, making sure I didn’t get a speck of dust on the shiny leather. I’d spent hours cleaning it to make sure it looked amazing. Seconds later, all of the tack was in place. I peeled off my sweats and revealed the show clothing underneath, put my strawberry-blond hair into a fresh hairnet, then led Pride to the warm-up ring to get him stretched and loosened up.
 “Okay, just walk and trot to warm up right now, then do a couple of the more difficult dressage moves to get them set up. Don’t do anything stupid.”
 Lauren was a very, _very_ blunt person. Pride stretched his neck forward, asking for more rein. I relented and let my hands slide forward a notch. We moved around the ring, lapping a slow bay horse whose trot was literally half the speed of our relaxed walk. As I signaled my horse to go ahead into a trot, we were rudely cut off by a tall dark bay horse ridden by… Valerie!


 She pulled Prince up next to me. “Don’t think that just because I haven’t been that evil yet, we’re suddenly friends. Okay? And I hope you can process that honestly, I’m ready for this. You’re not. So, just stay out of my way from now on, and I’ll stay out of yours so you can make yourself miserably fail without any interruption. Got that?” She sharply signaled her horse and cantered away.
 _Wow. That was some pretty impressive trash-talking._ Even though she was completely and utterly insulting me, I had to admire her choice of words. 
 I regained riding focus when Pride yanked his head forward and snapped at Prince’s retreating rump. I pulled his head back into frame and asked again for the canter. He pinned his ears irritably and I worked hard to get him going smoothly. I could tell he was still annoyed, so I piloted him out of the ring and hopped out of the saddle. 
 “Come on boy, be nice. Focus. We can’t let her ruin our performance. Be good so we can beat Valerie and Prince and get to the final qualifiers. Understand?”
 He nodded and I discreetly slipped him a peppermint. After our quick break, Pride moved easily and we performed a couple of figures that were going to be in the test. Everything was going well, so I dismounted and got some water, giving Pride a tiny sip. I then walked to the outside of the dressage arena where Lauren and the other riders stood discussing what our main priorities were during the test.
 “….. So be sure to have good posture, and watch during the half-pass— your horses might get distracted with all of the spectators making noise in the stands and the judges never like a distracted horse.”
 “Calm down,” Tina urged, “you’re going to make us all nervous, and we know what we have to do. Sit up, make the horses look good, and don’t screw it. It’s simple.”
 _I wish_, I thought.
 Lauren looked at her watch.
 “It’s 4:56!! You all better get over to the side of the ring to watch the other riders compete. Maddie, you’re up third. Just pay close attention and see where other riders are having trouble.”
 I nodded attentively.
 The bell sounded. “Up first, we have Angelina Rubin, number 561, riding Wild Card. This pair is no stranger to the show circuit, and fans are sure they will turn in a strong performance in this round.”
 A tall redhead on an equally tall chestnut entered the arena at a rhythmic working trot. They halted in a single stride and gave a respectful salute to the judges. I watched in silence as they performed each movement perfectly and eventually came to their final salute. Amazing. I gulped in a ton of air. Would all of my competition be this great?
 “Next in the dressage portion of this 3-day event, we have Thomas Yoncin, number 927, riding Dawning New Day. Dawning New Day is a new horse to Thomas, purchased 8 months ago after Thomas’s senior competition horse, Bright Moon, tore a ligament. This pair have been working very well together, and we all know they will not disappoint in this class.”
 A stocky black-haired boy rode in on a leggy light cream Anglo-Arab horse. The horse did a beautiful supple working trot, bending at the neck and withers. Then a cheer sounded in the crowd. Startled, the horse took off and accelerated into a gallop for a few strides, until her rider was able to bring her back under control. I was relieved that Thomas didn’t freak out on his horse; instead, he patted her neck and resumed the round.
 My relief didn’t last long. “Entering the ring now is Madelyn McCarthy, number 475, riding Pride in Hunyuwatt. These two have been training together for nearly 5 years, and emit a strong partnership.” My first thought was, _Emit? _My second thought was that…


 I was up. Lauren didn’t give me time to ponder. “Go!” she hissed, shoving Pride forward. I settled into the stirrups, adjusted my helmet strap, and heeled him into a trot. 
 I silently counted Pride’s hoof beats to be sure that they were at an even pace. I framed his head down and focused on imaginary letter _X_ in the center of the arena. My horse came to a smooth halt and I saluted ‘crisply’ for once. The collected canter came easily, but the flying lead change across the diagonal was a bit sticky. Pride hesitated, then obeyed my command, but the hesitation was definitely noticeable. However, we fixed it quickly enough and I hoped the judges wouldn’t hold it too much against us. The sitting trot went according to textbook.
 We kept our circle round and the half-pass was performed with ease. Next in the figure line-up was the dreaded shoulder-in. Pride flicked his ears back at me for reassurance. 
 “Good boy,” I whispered. He did as I asked and bent at the shoulder while continuing in a perfect straight line. I continuously squeezed the reins to keep his attention, and his focus didn’t waver once. I was _so_ proud of my horse! We completed the slow gallop and countercanter nicely and I slowed my horse to a walk for the final salute. I nodded at the judges and looked them in the eye. They were deciding my fate, after all. 
 “Wonderful!!” shouted Lauren as I exited the arena with a test score of 40. In the dressage element of three-day eventing, the goal was to have a few faults as possible, and therefore the score closest to zero. She pulled Pride and I into a hug, then said, “I think there’s someone here who’d like to see you.”
 I looked around, and spotted my dad! “Maddie!” he yelled. I ran up to him and gave him a hug. “I saw your round! It was great,” he assured me. We released our embrace and turned intently to the ring as Carlie’s name was called right after mine.
 “Now we have Carlie Johnson, number 774, on Kandiebar, a 9 year old mare. These two excel in dressage, and we expect a fantastic test from this young partnership.”
Carlie and Kandiebar trotted in and saluted. Each movement was gorgeous and looked easy, and it was no surprise when Carlie dismounted with a huge smile on her face sporting a score of 40.
 My nerves increased as the competition went on. Vanessa came out of the arena with a score of 38, and Tina and Alex’s scores were both pretty decent. Eventually every entry had finished their round, and each rider stood around the ring waiting for the judges to announce where the list involving the standings was located.
 “The official list of standings is located at the judging box’s north-facing wall, and I wish you all luck with your placing.” I looked up at the announcer booth just in time to observe his wide fake-smile and look of disgust when a horsefly flew past the glass in front of the elevated box.
 “Come on!” My dad exclaimed, “Let’s go look at the standings!” We all led our horses over to the judges’ box and fought our way through the mob of horses, riders, parents, and coaches. I saw several people walking away from the paper list tacked up into the wood looking like their world was ending, and I suddenly got afraid. Afraid to see the results. Afraid I’d have done so terribly that even if I rocked the cross-country and jumping I’d still have no chance; afraid that everything I’d worked for would be destroyed.


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## Clydesdales

I love this so much.
Can't wait till more is uploaded!


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## liveluvride

Thanks Clydesdales  
Again, if anyone more knowledgeable than I notices any errors, or if anyone has a suggestion on a way to better the story, please let me know! It would be greatly appreciated!
I stared at the list and started at first place.
_1.Angelina Rubin---number 561---Wild Cat--Score-36.20_
 The first girl we’d watched had stolen first place. 
_2.Kyle Hanshaw---number 993---Capital R--Score-37.51_
 Apparently a rider I’d missed watching had done pretty well.
_3.Valerie Clairton---number 871---Prince’s Legacy--Score-38.00_
 I turned around to congratulate Valerie. “Nice job!” I said. She looked at me and snarled. I looked back at the list.
_4.Amelia Porinox---number 346---Soft Seabreeze--Score-38.67_
_5. Isabelle Moore---number 590---Peppermint Stick--Score-39.43_
 I heard a deafening shout behind me and saw Isabelle screaming and jumping up and down in excitement. I was happy that she was feeling such enjoyment, but my panic was increasing that I hadn’t seen my name on the list yet. I had gotten a very good score!
_6. Carlie Johnson---number 774---Kandiebar--Score-40.00_
_ --TIE--_
_6. Madelyn McCarthy--number 475--Pride in Hunyuwatt--Score-40.00_
 Tied for 6th! I was bubbling with excitement, and so was Carlie. We did a victory dance for a couple of minutes until we were congratulated by Lauren and looked back at the list, scanning for Alex and Tina’s names. Finally, we found them after looking down the list.
_18. Alexandra Khanni---number 814---Phantom Shadow--Score-51.6_

_21. Tina Gyniler---number 599---Dynasty--Score-53.04_
“Well done!!!!” Lauren screeched, hugging all of us at once. We all brought our horses back to their stalls and untacked and groomed them. I spent about a half hour extra with Pride and gave him hugs and mints. Finally, Lauren called us out of the barn-tent to talk to her.
 “I am so proud of all of you. I cannot believe that all of my students did this well. That is a lot for any instructor to ask for, and I am so grateful that you all worked as hard as you did. Tonight, I’m going to treat you all to a dinner out, parents invited. Let’s get some pasta tonight so we’re energetic tomorrow for cross country!”
To humor her, we all cheered and shouted, “AMEN!” 

_Chapter 9_​ 

 “Thanks so much for driving me, Dad,” I said as my father headed towards the hotel after dinner, “I couldn’t survive another car ride with Valerie, especially now ‘cause she’ll be flaunting around her 3rd place.”
 My dad laughed. “No problem.” He was staying at a hotel down the road, which was the only one left with any open rooms, and was sharing a room with Valerie‘s father. He said it was a terrible experience so far.
 Dad parked the car and I left the car as he drove off. I searched down the hallways for me and Carlie’s room and inserted the key into the door as I found it. I noticed that Carlie had already claimed the cherry-wood bed nearest to the window, so I plopped my tack box onto the bed next to me. I quickly unloaded and had just finished putting on my pajamas when she emerged from the bathroom. Her candy-cane heart pj’s were _adorable_, and I wished I’d brought something more decorative than my plain sky-blue top and leggings. 
 “Your turn for the bathroom,” she said abruptly, turning the covers back on her bed and leaping in. I brushed my teeth and used the bathroom before getting comfortable on my own sleeping space. 
 “Umm, nice job with your dressage round.” Carlie said awkwardly to fill the uncomfortable silence. 
 “You too,” I replied, surprised, “Kandiebar looked great during the circles.”
 “Thanks.”
 “’Night.”
 “’Night.”



 I woke up to the slamming of the bathroom door. Apparently Carlie had wanted first shower. Today was cross-country! I opened a dresser drawer and laid my clothes on my bed. After I got dressed and took a shower, Carlie and I headed down to eat at the hotel’s continental breakfast room. We gulped down bowls of fruit and cereal and hurriedly jumped into the back of Lauren’s car with our tack boxes. Valerie and Tina also came along for the ride, while Alex, still at her aunt’s house, would be coming just a bit later in her parents’ car.
 “Okay, you guys, do you all have your stuff you need? We have a 9:00 am cross-country class and it’s 6:30 now, so there’s no coming back to the hotel to get anything you left behind.”
 I mentally checked my bag and discovered I hadn’t forgotten anything. No one else was missing anything, so Lauren set off driving for the show grounds while the 4 of us squeezed into the 2 tiny seats in the back of her van.
 “Go say hi to your horses but don’t tack up yet. We’re all going to go walk the cross-country course together, so leave your boots in your tack boxes and put on your sneakers. Meet me by the start of the course in 5 minutes.”
 All of us scattered quickly. I went straight to Pride.
 “Hey baby!” I said, approaching his stall. He neighed sleepily and I saw the grooms had already given him the amount of food I’d written on an index card.
 “You did such a great job yesterday, and I know our routine usually is to let you relax today, but we have to do cross country. I’m going to go walk the course and make sure there’s nothing scary on it that could make you get nervous. I’ll come get you in around an hour, OK?”
 Pride whinnied agreeably as I left the stall to go meet up with the rest of the group. I found them all huddled over a course map printed on light green paper.
 “So when you turn the corner to get into the woods, you’re all going to…..”
 “…..Look out for weird shadows that could spook our horses,” Everyone dutifully replied. Lauren turned and saw me, and motioned me over to join them.
 “We’re just about to leave,” she said, “here, take this map and look it over quickly. You have 5 minutes.” I nodded and studied the map intently. The fences themselves weren’t too bad, but I noticed that there was a small lake that the horses had to run through, while jumping in the water. Though Pride and I had encountered this type of sequence often, he had never been a fan of it. The course was also painfully long and the allowed time was painfully short.
 We set off on the course, walking on foot. The horses were forbidden to see the fences beforehand-- it was supposed to be a surprise for them, but not to the riders. 
 All of us walked quickly beside Lauren. She blabbered on nervously about things to remember while riding, which I didn’t really need to hear because she’d explained the entire same list of focus points last night. I tuned her out and tried to memorize the course. It took me forever to remember even a piece of it, and I was glad for the red and white flags along the course sidelines that helped to guide riders in the correct direction.


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## Tex1904

Its so good so far !!! Please keep writing I'm hooked ! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## liveluvride

Thanks Tex  everyone's kind, positive responses make it really enjoyable to upload this!!​ 
 Eventually, our trainer led us back to the barn-tent to get our horses ready. There was about an hour until show-time, and the horses weren’t even tacked yet! Pride happily stuck his head out of his stall as I approached, his mouth full of hay. Stalks tumbled down his chest as he opened his mouth to neigh at me.
 “Piggy!” I laughed.
 Pride stared at me, waiting for my next move. I strapped his green nylon halter into place and led him to a pair of cross-ties. The grooms had already made him super clean, so I only had to run a body brush over him quickly before I tacked him up.
 I finished getting him ready and took him into his stall for a couple seconds of just us, together, preparing for the challenge. Yesterday, doing dressage, and the sheer magnitude of the whole show was just beginning to sink in. I hadn’t had time to think about it previously. Now, I realized the pressure of it all and how well I needed to perform in order to succeed. 
 Pride nudged me and his wide, innocent eyes made me laugh and give him a hug. We’d done well yesterday without all of this pointless worrying; I had to let go of my nerves and have a good time with my horse. After all, today was cross-country!

 “Number 561, Angelina Rubin, on Wild Card,” The commentator announced, “please proceed to the start of the cross-country course. Number 561, Angelina Rubin on Wild Card.”
 Angelina rode past me with a determined look set on her face. Her horse also looked like it was thinking of only one thing: a perfect round. They leaped forward as the buzzer sounded and disappeared into the large field at the start of the trail.
 10 minutes later, the announcer called Thomas Yoncin to start, and he immediately galloped into the field with Dawning New Day racing against the clock. Next, the announcer called…..
Me.​ I steadied myself for Pride’s quick start, which would commence as soon as the buzzer began ringing. Luckily, in the 30 minutes I’d had since getting my course map, I had memorized the course decently well and though I was quite sure I wouldn’t be getting lost, I hadn’t exactly come up with any shortcuts yet.
 _Ding!_
 Pride exploded forward and hurled himself into the field. As a team, we easily cleared a low combination of log fences and a wide trakehner. Also a name of a breed of horse, this simple fence just consisted of a (usually very large) ditch with a rail over it. Lauren had prepared us for all obstacles on the course at Forever Farms; she’d never disappointed with finding random obstacles to drag onto the trail, randomly adding new obstacles every so often where we’d least expect them.
 Remembering my trainer’s repeated warning, I kept a diligent watch for shadows that could spook my mount as we rounded the sharp bend into the woods. A couple of sinister-looking branches cast odd marks on the forest floor, but Pride ignored them and continued galloping. His breathing was fine, but I made him slow down his blazing speed just a bit so that I could prepare him for the corner fence that I knew was coming up around the turn. I checked his stride again and focused him on the small but dangerous obstacle. Many horses would refuse this angled jump but I knew Pride was fearless and would never run out on me.
 The corner fence went as planned, and we continued to a high and wide but otherwise normal brush fence. Then, we approached the water. The sequence all began with a drop fence, which was rapidly approaching. Next, I would ride Pride through the water and take a couple of fences in the water itself, then do a bank up out of the water again.
 Looking ahead at the drop fence, I slowed Pride so that he wouldn’t leap too strongly over it. We’d be jumping the fence, then landing at a lower level than the takeoff point. That lower level also happened to be the water! If Pride propelled too strongly over the fence, he could hurt himself when the drop came by landing with extreme pressure on his forelegs. Pride obediently slowed his pace and gently took rocketed over the tall log. I gave him a lot of rein while we flew down, down, down, until we hit the water.
 Pride gave a snort of surprise and thrust his head in the air. I half-halted him in an attempt to get him settled before the first, skinny fence made of piled narrow logs called an Arrowhead. He fought my hands, super-spooked by the water. But I could _not _ let him jump blindly. That was pretty much about the worst thing you could do on a course. I soothingly murmured to him and sank deeply into the saddle, but he would not calm down. We launched over the Arrowhead and I hoped for the best.
 I was thrown off balance, and nearly flew over my horse’s right shoulder, but I gripped hard with my calves and kept us together as we landed. Where was my I-love-everything-and-I-never-spook horse? Luckily, he settled down and we took two logs without any issue, then athletically leaped up the bank, clearing a large brush fence shaped like a duck. Urging Pride faster, I hoped that we were still within the allowed time. He’d been galloping for quite some time now, and wasn’t getting slightly tired! Lauren had told me that when a horse doesn’t run away with you a little bit while galloping, he was getting out of breath, and Pride certainly was yanking the pace faster and faster. 
 This leg of the course was just a long stretch of steep up-and-down hills, and I briefly thought of Carlie and Kandiebar with their reputation of this being a problem. We didn’t slow for an instant, and when I noticed Pride was panting a bit, I kept him going and slowed him up as soon as we were away from the hills. A couple of wooden board fences passed easily, then the first real test began. A hop up two large stone steps that were built into a hill, with an immediate wide brush spread to follow. 
 Pride asked for his head, and I gave it to him, leaving it up to him to balance himself up the steps. I adjusted my grip on the reins and looked ahead at the first humongous stone step.
 _Go!_ I mentally urged my horse on and physically tightened my legs until I thought they might crack. Pride responded-- the good boy-- by lightly floating up the steps and taking the brush without an interruption in his long, easy stride. I gave him a quick pat on the neck. He whinnied happily and sped up, flattening his body across the ground. Spectators were scattered along the sidelines, and they cheered us on. Pride really liked the applause; every time a clap sounded, he would ***** his ears and gallop on with renewed energy. Next came a coffin ditch, more logs, and a rather large wooden fence that resembled a box, sponsored by some random tissue company. The end of the course drew nearer, and I knew we were doing a very fast time. Pride was definitely tiring now, but I knew that there would be absolutely no chance of getting him to slow. While we did cross-country, he always ran himself into the ground, despite my sometimes desperate efforts to slow him down. 
 Then the last fences came into view; a combination of a drop fence down, a brush fence with wood planks in front, and then a large fence of two boards with a painted banner bearing the Olympic symbol. I focused on the five linked rings in the distance. That was my ultimate goal. 
 Pride pushed off the edge of the drop fence and we plummeted down what must have been 10 stories before hitting the ground. There was almost no time to set up for the brush, but my awesome, wonderful, amazing horse (who hadn’t let himself slow down yet) set himself up and leaped it cleanly. We soared over the final fence and the end of the course was directly ahead—the one that stopped the clock. I’d been having so much fun, been so focused on the task, that I almost didn’t want the course to end.
 “Go!” I told Pride, throwing my weight low on his neck and flapping the reins. We raced over the light spring grass and I heard a stopwatch click. It was over. 

(Again, I'm not a XC rider so if there's anything I can change to improve the accuracy of the story, please let me know!)​


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## liveluvride

​​_Chapter 10_​ 

 “Maddie, look!” Screeched Lauren, appearing out of nowhere with tears in her eyes and brandishing her arm at the scoreboard. My time flashed onto the screen: 8 minutes, 54 seconds. No faults!
 “How did we manage that?!” I exclaimed, hopping to the ground and hugging Pride around the neck. He’d been so amazing, and now, having done his duty, was blowing without restraint and rubbing his head on my arm. I spotted a TV camera flying in a helicopter above, broadcasting film taken from the sky. I was glad I hadn’t made myself and my horse look like fools on national TV.
 “Wow, great job, you,” said my dad, coming up from behind me, “and you, too, Mister Pride.”
 Pride neighed at his name. I laughed and after Alex had complimented our ride, Dad, Pride, and I walked to the veterinary tent with the grooms to check Pride’s vitals after working so hard. All was well, so I returned to the stable area and accepted the Michael’s offer to walk Pride cool for me while I changed into some comfy barn clothes I had in my tack box. 
 Just as I’d released my horse back into his stall later that day, Tina appeared leading an exhausted Dynasty. “Maddie, Lauren’s looking for you and she’s freaking out, so you’d better get over to her quickly.” I followed her to where the rest of us and Lauren stood near the barn. 
 “I had the hardest time finding you guys!” exclaimed Lauren, looking harassed, “Since you all are here now, finally, I wanted to congratulate all of you and your horses on some pretty great rounds. Maddie was the only one to not collect any faults…” she said with a nod in my direction, either not noticing or ignoring Valerie’s glare, “…but all of you had very respectable times.”
 We silently listened to the pep talk, no one really taking it in. We were all too curious to see the standings!
 Training us for so many years, Lauren noticed our lapse of attention. “The results are in the same spot that the dressage results were yesterday. Go see them, but _make sure all your poor horses are put away first!_
 With Pride already cool, groomed and settled in his stall, I speed-walked to the judges’ booth and began the fight through the crowd of people observing results. In this phase of eventing, the penalties accumulated in cross-country for time faults or refusals would be added to the dressage score. If there were no faults, the dressage score would remain untouched.
_1. Angelina Rubin—number 561—Wild Cat—36.20_
_Only her and I hadn’t collected time penalties, so did that mean..?_
_2. Madelyn McCarthy--number 475--Pride in Hunyuwatt—40.0_
 OH. MY. GOSH.
 2ND PLACE!!!!!
 I did some sort of peculiar victory dance and pushed through the crowd, looking for my dad. He was standing next to Lauren; as soon as they saw my ecstatic look, they both piled on top of me in an awkward, crowded, group hug.
 “Great job!” they both exclaimed together. Suddenly, I remembered that Alex was still anxiously awaiting her result. I found her by the standings list. I quickly scanned the sheet of paper, searching for her name.
_3. Olivia Tymber--number 003--Majenta Miss—42.87_
_4. Jonathon Browne—number 509—Queen Venus—43.11_
 I continued down the list until I found Valerie, back in 7th. Tina, Carlie, and Alex’s results were nowhere to be found. Eventually, with Carlie and Tina tied in 14th after some slow times, and Alex positioned in 17th, I offered congratulations to everyone and excused myself from the group.
 As I headed off to the stable to spend some extra time with Pride, my phone buzzed with a text from Kat.
 _AWESOME!!!!! MY BFF IS A STAR!!! _
 I smiled and stuck my phone in my pocket as I neared the stall—I’d have to call her later to catch up on what was going on at home. I unlatched the stall door and carefully stepped inside. Pride was leaning against the back wall of his stall with his ears floppy and a back hoof cocked, fast asleep. I quietly called to him.
 “Pride, wake up, buddy,” I whispered. He sleepily opened his eyes, exhausted by today’s work. I didn’t blame him. Not wanting to disturb his sleep too much, I gave him a couple spearmint candies and stood with him in the back corner of the stall, his nose snuffling my hands. He was asleep with his head on my shoulder by the time my dad came to drive me home.


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## xJumperx

I'm LOVING this!! Totally hooked!! Can't see why this wasn't published - I'd pay for it!!


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## Clydesdales

So would I it a really good read!


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## liveluvride

Thanks so much, both of you!! I am considering re-submitting it to an editor... 
I promise more will be up tomorrow, I was showing over the weekend so I haven't had the chance to edit more!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tex1904

Yess !!!  I AM IN LOVE !!! This is really a great story liveluvride !! I really hope you can get this published I would certainly buy this !! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## liveluvride

Thanks Tex :') I really appreciate everyone's comments. If it's okay with everyone, I might send some of your 'reviews' in with the story if/when I submit it-- please let me know if you would prefer not to have your comment sent in. The publisher was concerned that there'd be no audience for this kind of book, and I think I have proof now that there are people interested in reading this type of thing!


 We drove in drowsy silence. When we got to the hotel, my dad let me off at the door and said goodnight, then left on his way to his hotel. I hurried into the elevator and seconds later was standing in front of mine and Carlie’s room.
 “Hey,” she greeted me, “want to order room service? Tina invited us to her and Valerie’s room, and we were going to get a pizza.”
 _“US?” _I questioned, “Why would Tina and Valerie invite _me _to come too?”
 Carlie looked uncomfortable. “If you don’t want to, you don’t have to, but I thought you’d prefer that to being alone. I called Alex too, and she’s coming. We thought we could have a team dinner.”
 Wait a second. Carlie came up with the idea to invite me? I was _really _confused now, but somehow I found myself waiting in front of Tina and Vanessa’s room with Carlie and a newly arrived Alex.
 “Hi.” Tina said abruptly, swinging open the door. I stuck close to Alex and we shared a look. Kat would definitely have to hear all about this when I called her tomorrow. 
 As we walked in, I spotted Valerie lounging on a comfy brown chair, looking every bit of evil that she truly was. She didn’t speak. Neither did anyone else. 
 Tina chose to first break the silence. “So, the pizza’s probably almost here. I got plain cheese; that okay?”
 Everyone nodded. Soon, Alex got us discussing Lauren’s mental stability on show days(always an interesting topic, as no one knew for sure whether or not she would say some… interesting things). Before long, Valerie and Tina got into their own conversation, Alex and I continued the Lauren debate, and Carlie hovered somewhere in the middle, mostly hanging out with her clique but occasionally popping into our increasingly animated discussion. The pizza came quickly and was delicious. 
 At nearly 10 pm, Carlie, Alex, and I left the room. Alex told us goodbye and left for her grandparents’ house, while Carlie and I went back to our room and fell into a deep, easy sleep.


 I awoke at almost exactly 7 am. Carlie was still emitting light snores from where she lay, and I gave her a couple minutes before I roused her. Our show jumping class started at 11 am, and Lauren wanted us there at nine.
 “How long until jumping?” Carlie asked nervously, stretching.
 “We have to get to the show grounds in 2 hours. We’re fine, time-wise. I think we should get breakfast and then come back here and get dressed.”
 “Yeah, eating breakfast in a public place with your pajamas on, that’s totally not weird at all,” she scoffed, “but why not, we should get there before all the good stuff is gone.”
 Both of us hurriedly ran down the hall to the elevator and grabbed bowls of banana yogurt. I snuck over to the topping choices and sprinkled granola pieces onto my breakfast. Perfect. 
 After breakfast we showered and changed into our show clothes, then split up when my dad arrived to drive me to the show grounds.
 “We can drive you, it’s no trouble,” Dad assured Carlie. But she insisted that she already had a ride, and my dad and I eventually drove to the show without her.
 At exactly 9 am, I met Lauren in front of the stable.
 “As soon as everyone else gets here, we’ll walk the course together. I’ve already walked it; it’s very challenging, so I’d like us all to see it as a group all at once. That way, we can discuss any problems or nervous spots on the course.”
 I nodded in agreement.


 About 10 minutes later, everyone was gathered in front of the stable, preparing to walk the course. Lauren led us to the huge arena. The light-colored arena dirt was raked smooth, and the footing looked perfect for jumping.
 “So, the first fence is just a plain, simple vertical, but it’s very high. Also, right after you land there’s an immediate left turn, which could get you off-balance for the next fence. This second one is difficult-- it’s an oxer, which by itself is scary enough, but this one is almost 4 feet wide and at least 4 and a half feet tall. And all of that right after a sharp turn! You really have to set up the horses.”
 All of us nervously glanced around at each other at the sight of the humongous fence.
 “Then, there’s a triple combination. Try to put in one stride between each fence, I’d say, but maybe Carlie-- you could do two, since Kandiebar has such a short stride. The rest of you, definitely do one.”
 I would really have to push Pride forward and open his step to get_ exactly _one stride between each of the three fences. 
 “After that, it’s straightforward enough, there’s a roll-back, but the verticals are relatively low and it’s not like you haven’t seen them before. Next, a liverpool, not too wide, but they put in a couple floating ducks in the water—it’s supposed to distract your horses. Which it will _not_, since I spent hours with you drilling ‘scary’ water fences!”
 She glared at the group as if daring us to disagree. I wasn’t worried; Pride had never looked twice at the long, low fences with water underneath.
 “And then, with the drum roll of dread, is the wall.”
 I stared at the tall bright red vertical patterned with light blocks, taking the shape of a wall. Pride had a random fear of these; honestly, I’d never met a horse who hadn’t for at least some period of their lifetime.
 “Some of you,” Lauren continued, staring straight at me, “have concentration issues when it comes to wall jumps. Then you blame the horse on having a fear of them, when it is clearly, the rider’s favorite catch-phrase, ‘Always the rider’s fault’. So, just keep leg on Pri- your horses and focus very clearly on the fence. Though that won’t come easily for some.”
 I turned red. Seeing this, Lauren laughed and said, “I’m just kidding. But do pay special attention. Anyway, after that’s a bending line to an oxer. I’d recommend sitting back a little and aiming for six strides instead of five, since that could get a bit strung-out. Then a triple bar, just watch the striding and you’ll be fine-- your horses are all athletic jumpers. Finally, the last combination-- first an ascending oxer, then a vertical, and the last fence is a parallel oxer. Very tricky striding, first one stride, then three, then two. Watch out during that, and don’t get all goofy just because the end of the course is there.”
 So that was our course, plain and simple. Not. 
 We all headed to the stalls and quickly groomed and tacked up. I led Pride to the warm up arena, where most of the competitors were already warming up over the practice jumps. The entire ring was filled, and I had some difficulty finding a spot on the rail for us. Once cantering, I found the practice fence open for a moment and we hurriedly leaped over it. Luckily, Valerie didn’t cut me off again!
 “Number 561, Angelina Rubin, on Wild Card.”
 The buzzer sounded and the pair calmly moved into a slow canter. In this round of jumping, speed didn’t matter as long as you finished within the allowed time. Only those who rode clear would get to the next round, which was measured in both speed and accuracy.
 Angelina gently piloted Wild Card around the course, and they finished with a clear round. How many hours a day did the girl practice?!
 “Number 927, Thomas Yoncin, on Dawning New Day.”
 After his disaster in the dressage round, I knew that Thomas would definitely not get into the top 5 at this show. However, his show jumping round was beautiful with only one knockdown and I applauded with the rest of the crowd when he finished.
 “Number 475, Madelyn McCarthy, on Pride in Hunyuwatt.”
 This time, I didn’t need Lauren to shove me forward. I gathered my reins and gave Pride a light squeeze, permission to enter the ring.


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## NeryLibra

I quite like this novel you've got going. However I do have to agree with your previous publisher that some of these terms are too technical or "horsey" for the non-horse/non-jumping crowds. If you take a group of people who do not jump and put them in front of a few different oxers, it's likely they won't understand. With that being said, it's easy for me to see that you've tried adding explanations of what the jumps are through the use of hint dropping. (Liverpool having rubber ducks, etc.) The same was apparent in your Cross Country chapter, though your cross country is slightly more technical in course description than this chapter is. If you revise and see fit, I'd suggest looking for more clue drops that you can add (maybe take the time to have your character describe an oxer in an earlier chapter; you may have, I haven't read this entire story in one go; just another example.)

It's easy for me to rank this novel in line with books such as Heartland, Phantom Stallion, The Thoroughbred and The Chestnut Hill series, and the Saddle Club(tv show and books). You might also be able to be along the lines of Pony Pals, however your book seems more matured in material. These books share a similar upbeat tone with a minor antagonist in the "rich snobby" character. You'd have a target audience of early-teens and younger, if you were well written enough, I'd imagine you could target Scholastic Books as a possible publisher. You _most definitely_ have an audience for this book.

If I'm nitpicking, I'd tell you your character development and your ability to use these characters to their full advantage is lacking. Valerie, for example, feels like she's currently a novelty character, used to add some sort of drama and only making an appearance when it suits the story. She shows up to mock someone injured or become a hinderance to the main character's transportation plans, otherwise disappearing. This, however, is partly addressed in the addition of your latest chapter and may well be addressed in chapters unreleased at the time of this review. Remember that people do have several layers to their personality. The dad is always seems to be upbeat and supportive of the daughter, when you know that there'd be instances that annoy him. Things like this can make characters seem too idealized, less "human" and more "fictional ideology the author would enjoy seeing". 

Your story overall is captivating and it's on the edge of a "page turner" type piece. You've got a friendly, inviting tone that draws the reader in and a mysterious back story. Regardless of the fact that you've made no mention of the girl's mother (and may not do it in this story at all) it works for you in that it does maintain a genuine curiosity as to what became of the woman and whether she will return to the story. I'd like to remind you of other aspects of this girl's life. Homework, school, getting a license and practicing driving, would all make for decent additions to this story. Since the type of writing in this particular novel is geared more toward younger readers, it's always beneficial to remind the impressionable that it's not all fun and games - other aspects of life exist.

With all of that being said, remember that this is my personal opinion. 

___

I, really, really, like what you have going here. I always find myself with the want to read _more_ after the end of each chapter. You're an awesome author, and I would most definitely consider sending it off to the publisher after you revise it again.


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## liveluvride

NeryLibra, thank you so much for your kind comments! Your suggestions were very helpful, and I plan to take a look at the story again with them in mind and try to address some of the character developmental, technical, and real-life aspects. I appreciate you writing such a detailed review, this will be extremely helpful in my quest for being a published author. 
Thanks again!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tex1904

Keep up the good work ! Its still amazing ..  some terms are a bit to technical but I don't really mind *
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Clydesdales

It's a great storie I think I've read almost ten times!


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## liveluvride

Thanks tex and Clydesdales... Sorry I haven't been regularly uploading. I will post more tomorrow- right now I've been editing some of the things that nerylibra pointed out, such as explaining some terms (tex brought this to my attention too) 
Thanks, --liveluvride
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Akhorselover

I love your story so much!!!!!!!


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## faiza425

Haven't been back here since I first posted and just read through...very, very good! I like what NeryLibra had to say about revising certain parts so non-horsey or limitedly-horsey people can understand what you're saying, and you have done a bit of it through the story. I also agree that certain characters should be more 'rounded out' and that there could be a little more time not around horses. I see an interesting relationship developing between Maddie and Carlie, and I'd like to know more about the whole situation with her mother. I would put this story up with Canterwood Crest and the Saddle Club 
I like the overall storyline, and I'm quite interested in seeing how it turns out. 

The one thing I'd like to point out is that in your commentary you sometimes have before each chapter, I notice two things - 1) You are very hard on yourself and your writing ability and 2) You aren't 100% sure how the whole Olympic tryouts and event scoring is supposed to go.
This is a great story and you are a gifted writer, so don't be so worried about how we'll take each chapter! Sure, you're writing for an audience, but you should enjoy writing each chapter. 
If you're not sure how a certain event works, look it up! You've been good about asking HF members for critiques, but you can write more realistically if you have those details in your mind before you begin. Personally, I'm not a dressage or XC rider, so if I'm writing about a three day event, I'll look it up, ask a barn buddy, or go watch one.

Overall, I'm really enjoying this story and can't wait to find out what happens next!


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## liveluvride

First of all, I am so sorry about how bad I've been with regularly uploading!! I have been super busy with schoolwork, but I'm on Thanksgiving break now so I can put up some of the story each night 

Faiza425, thanks so much for your advice! I have been doing some more research on eventing, so I'm sorting things out a bit in the story! Also, I went ahead and put in some non-horsey character development in the future, so that should start coming into play in the next few chapters.

Thanks AKhorselover 

 This time, I didn’t need Lauren to shove me forward. I gathered my reins and gave Pride a light squeeze, permission to enter the ring.
 We swept around the arena in a medium canter and I pointed him to the first, very high, vertical. I rocked him back onto his hindquarters and slowed his stride to create impulsion, a powerful way of striding forward that assists horses while jumping tall fences. Pride pushed off his back legs and cleared the fence, flicking his tail with joy as he landed.
 I had conveniently forgotten which fence was directly now coming up in my path. Pride had not. As soon as he saw the giant oxer fence consisting of immense height and width looming in front of his nose, he checked his stride and sped up, bounding over the obstacle with power and landing balanced and ready for the next fence. I quickly patted him to say thanks for covering up my mistake, then took control once again. 
 I moved Pride up a little in preparation for the triple combination. He soared over the first fence, stretched forward to fit one stride in, took the second, and managed to put in one even stride for the third fence. After, we easily moved through the roll-back, taking the first low vertical and then making a half circle back to the second one. I kept my leg on to block any chances of a refusal at the liverpool, and my horse barely glanced at the floating rubber ducks as he flew over without making a splash. 
 I looked ahead to the next fence: the dreaded wall. The bright red, scary, solid-looking wall. After all of our years competing, Pride and I still had some problems with this type of obstacle. My nerves would lead him to question the jump, and this had led to some refusals and falls in our show career.
 Pride began veering to the left, and I steadied him with my left leg and right rein. We approached the big fence at a slight angle, and I winced as I gave him all the leg I had.
 Pride flew over the jump and proudly gave a little buck as we landed as if to say, ‘See? We did it!’ I almost laughed, but then turned my complete attention to the next bending line. I sent Pride to the perfect spot for the first fence, then we veered off our straight line after the jump and leaped the fence diagonally across from it in a quiet six strides. 
 The triple bar came easily, and over the last combination my horse and I finessed the difficult striding without a hitch.
 “Clear round for number 475, Madelyn McCarthy, riding Pride in Hunyuwatt.”


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## horsedream568

This story is amazing! You honestly have one of the best riding talents! Post more as Soon as possible!


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## Clydesdales

How many chapters does it have?


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## horsedream568

liveluvride said:


> Thanks Clydesdales
> Again, if anyone more knowledgeable than I notices any errors, or if anyone has a suggestion on a way to better the story, please let me know! It would be greatly appreciated!
> I stared at the list and started at first place.
> _1.Angelina Rubin---number 561---Wild Cat--Score-36.20_
> The first girl we’d watched had stolen first place.
> _2.Kyle Hanshaw---number 993---Capital R--Score-37.51_
> Apparently a rider I’d missed watching had done pretty well.
> _3.Valerie Clairton---number 871---Prince’s Legacy--Score-38.00_
> I turned around to congratulate Valerie. “Nice job!” I said. She looked at me and snarled. I looked back at the list.
> _4.Amelia Porinox---number 346---Soft Seabreeze--Score-38.67_
> _5. Isabelle Moore---number 590---Peppermint Stick--Score-39.43_
> I heard a deafening shout behind me and saw Isabelle screaming and jumping up and down in excitement. I was happy that she was feeling such enjoyment, but my panic was increasing that I hadn’t seen my name on the list yet. I had gotten a very good score!
> _6. Carlie Johnson---number 774---Kandiebar--Score-40.00_
> _ --TIE--_
> _6. Madelyn McCarthy--number 475--Pride in Hunyuwatt--Score-40.00_
> Tied for 6th! I was bubbling with excitement, and so was Carlie. We did a victory dance for a couple of minutes until we were congratulated by Lauren and looked back at the list, scanning for Alex and Tina’s names. Finally, we found them after looking down the list.
> _18. Alexandra Khanni---number 814---Phantom Shadow--Score-51.6_
> 
> _21. Tina Gyniler---number 599---Dynasty--Score-53.04_
> “Well done!!!!” Lauren screeched, hugging all of us at once. We all brought our horses back to their stalls and untacked and groomed them. I spent about a half hour extra with Pride and gave him hugs and mints. Finally, Lauren called us out of the barn-tent to talk to her.
> “I am so proud of all of you. I cannot believe that all of my students did this well. That is a lot for any instructor to ask for, and I am so grateful that you all worked as hard as you did. Tonight, I’m going to treat you all to a dinner out, parents invited. Let’s get some pasta tonight so we’re energetic tomorrow for cross country!”
> To humor her, we all cheered and shouted, “AMEN!”
> 
> _Chapter 9_​
> 
> “Thanks so much for driving me, Dad,” I said as my father headed towards the hotel after dinner, “I couldn’t survive another car ride with Valerie, especially now ‘cause she’ll be flaunting around her 3rd place.”
> My dad laughed. “No problem.” He was staying at a hotel down the road, which was the only one left with any open rooms, and was sharing a room with Valerie‘s father. He said it was a terrible experience so far.
> Dad parked the car and I left the car as he drove off. I searched down the hallways for me and Carlie’s room and inserted the key into the door as I found it. I noticed that Carlie had already claimed the cherry-wood bed nearest to the window, so I plopped my tack box onto the bed next to me. I quickly unloaded and had just finished putting on my pajamas when she emerged from the bathroom. Her candy-cane heart pj’s were _adorable_, and I wished I’d brought something more decorative than my plain sky-blue top and leggings.
> “Your turn for the bathroom,” she said abruptly, turning the covers back on her bed and leaping in. I brushed my teeth and used the bathroom before getting comfortable on my own sleeping space.
> “Umm, nice job with your dressage round.” Carlie said awkwardly to fill the uncomfortable silence.
> “You too,” I replied, surprised, “Kandiebar looked great during the circles.”
> “Thanks.”
> “’Night.”
> “’Night.”
> 
> 
> 
> I woke up to the slamming of the bathroom door. Apparently Carlie had wanted first shower. Today was cross-country! I opened a dresser drawer and laid my clothes on my bed. After I got dressed and took a shower, Carlie and I headed down to eat at the hotel’s continental breakfast room. We gulped down bowls of fruit and cereal and hurriedly jumped into the back of Lauren’s car with our tack boxes. Valerie and Tina also came along for the ride, while Alex, still at her aunt’s house, would be coming just a bit later in her parents’ car.
> “Okay, you guys, do you all have your stuff you need? We have a 9:00 am cross-country class and it’s 6:30 now, so there’s no coming back to the hotel to get anything you left behind.”
> I mentally checked my bag and discovered I hadn’t forgotten anything. No one else was missing anything, so Lauren set off driving for the show grounds while the 4 of us squeezed into the 2 tiny seats in the back of her van.
> “Go say hi to your horses but don’t tack up yet. We’re all going to go walk the cross-country course together, so leave your boots in your tack boxes and put on your sneakers. Meet me by the start of the course in 5 minutes.”
> All of us scattered quickly. I went straight to Pride.
> “Hey baby!” I said, approaching his stall. He neighed sleepily and I saw the grooms had already given him the amount of food I’d written on an index card.
> “You did such a great job yesterday, and I know our routine usually is to let you relax today, but we have to do cross country. I’m going to go walk the course and make sure there’s nothing scary on it that could make you get nervous. I’ll come get you in around an hour, OK?”
> Pride whinnied agreeably as I left the stall to go meet up with the rest of the group. I found them all huddled over a course map printed on light green paper.
> “So when you turn the corner to get into the woods, you’re all going to…..”
> “…..Look out for weird shadows that could spook our horses,” Everyone dutifully replied. Lauren turned and saw me, and motioned me over to join them.
> “We’re just about to leave,” she said, “here, take this map and look it over quickly. You have 5 minutes.” I nodded and studied the map intently. The fences themselves weren’t too bad, but I noticed that there was a small lake that the horses had to run through, while jumping in the water. Though Pride and I had encountered this type of sequence often, he had never been a fan of it. The course was also painfully long and the allowed time was painfully short.
> We set off on the course, walking on foot. The horses were forbidden to see the fences beforehand-- it was supposed to be a surprise for them, but not to the riders.
> All of us walked quickly beside Lauren. She blabbered on nervously about things to remember while riding, which I didn’t really need to hear because she’d explained the entire same list of focus points last night. I tuned her out and tried to memorize the course. It took me forever to remember even a piece of it, and I was glad for the red and white flags along the course sidelines that helped to guide riders in the correct direction.


This is amazing. But I did notice on score part. The girl who got first has a horse named wild cat. But when she was entering the arena they said her horses name was wild card. I don't know if this was intentional or not but just thought I let you know! I love this! Keep posting!


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## MyJumper

Hello, I really like your story. I think you have a great story going, however I have a few 'concerns'.

1.) when Maddie pulled her horse up in the middle of a lesson, that was confusing, and a tad unbelievable. Either she's got a great relationship with her trainer or, her instructor's a push over... If I ever pulled up in a lesson and just felt like I'd jumped enough, my instructor would not let me just leave. She would never stand for that attitude. Now then, if that's the relationship you want them to have, that's perfectly fine and maybe that's how it is in the Olympics. (Though I doubt George Morris would take that kind of attitude either...)

2.) I _ highly_ dislike the part where Lauren tells her students to 'look for shadows that may spook their horses'. Most Olympic caliber horses wouldn't be all that spooky for starters, most Olympians would be paying attention the the next jump, watching the time, looking out for uneven/dangerous footing etc instead of worried about if their horses is going to misbehave. Perhaps they could say 'look to the next jump' or something like that?

3.) I agree that their should be more character development. The characters need to have more 'personality' . They shouldn't all be perfect either, even Maddie should make mistakes, people tend to get annoyed with overly perfect main characters. You should create more drama.

4.) I'm a little surprised that Lady was unconscious or unable to move with just those minor injuries. Lady is an extremely fit event horse and she lays perfectly still with just some cuts and tendon issues? The barn where I work at has a horse that broke his pelvis, in his paddock, he was still limping around when they found him. IMO those injuries aren't going to cause a horse to just lay quietly, most horses would thrash around, scream, try to run away/limp around etc. 

4.) These people ride a *lot*. So they go for a trail ride, go galloping over cross-country fences, and then do a group lesson that involves show jumping, dressage and cross-country! That sounds like a lot for even the fittest of horses and riders. My instructor does prelim at the moment, she did intermediate in the past. She hardly rides her horse longer then 30 min, same for the horses she is training. During show session she would take an hour weekly lesson, but that's it. No one at my barn is in the Olympics, but that still seems like a lot of riding time. Even if you want them to be energetic, I think you still need to tone it down a little.

5.) I think the publishers found this too 'horsey' not because of the technical terms, but because this kid has no life. People don't want to read the truth, how horsey people practically live at the barn.:lol: They want to read lies, they want drama. You should talk more about school, Maddie's 'non horsey' friends, her home life things like that. As other have said you should include 'teenager-y' things, getting a licences, getting a job, meeting people, school dances (even though I hate romantic books :-x some people find that interesting. 

I am not an expert on eventing. I am just beginning to discover the wondrous world of eventing. I work at a big eventing barn 4 days a week and hope to compete in this coming show season. I am no an expert on writing or eventing, this is just my honest opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. :lol:
I wish you the best of luck, and look forward to seeing how this story develops.


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## aussiemum

More please, liveluvride??!!


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