# It hurts my heart



## binkac (Feb 6, 2012)

I wasn't sure where to put this post, but since it hurts my heart the most I will post it in rider wellness. This isn't an easy post - I'm sorry for my question...

For the record, no I haven't talked with my vet quite yet - but will be shortly...

How do we, as owners, decide if it is the right time to put our friends down? Do we wait until they are in continuous pain - or do the deed ahead of time - and just know that their time is coming; there isn't anything else we can do to help and we want to remember them as happy and reasonably healthy? 

Here is my situation: I have a lovely 28 year old mare, she has arthritis in her hocks and stifle, is lame at the canter and trot and just recently sometimes at the walk (basically she is getting progressively worse), she has a heart mumor, she has the grey horse lumps, she has a hard time locking her knees and hocks when she sleeps and sometimes falls over. She is on double doses of buteless, MSM, cortaflex, glucosamine and red cell. She is exclusively on nutrena senior feed 12lbs and hay cubes 10lbs- since she won't eat hay anymore. She wheezes bc of a lump near her throat. Her feed bill is becoming prohibative financially (about $350-400 a month). She is not ridden any more save for a few bareback rides in the pasture with a halter as a bridle. Winter is coming - and it gets cold and nasty here. Do I put my lovely arthritic mare through another cold winter knowing she will be in pain and come spring wont be any better then she is now or wait until early/mid fall and put her down remembering a happy horse playing in the pasture? 

This is absolutly gut wrenching for me... 
I know that no one can tell me how to handle this and I need to figure it out myself - I am just curious if others have had to make a similar decision and how did you handle it... Thanks in advance


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

I'd have put her down if she were my horse. She's _already_ in pain and suffering, if she's really the way you've described. 

28 is a ripe old age for a horse, and it sounds as if she's ready to go. It would hurt me more knowing I had the ability to relieve her suffering, yet kept her around for my own selfish reasons.

Better a month too soon than a minute too late, in my opinion.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

The way I look at things like this is in terms of quality of life.

Are you keeping the mare alive because you are attached to her? Or does she seem to have good quality of life (not in constant pain, able to run/play in the pasture, not having trouble eating)? If the answer to the first question is yes and the second, no, then it's time to let go. 

I know how difficult it can be. I was there when one of my friends had to PTS their weimeriener due to Atkinson disease. He had no quality of life. He was having seizures multiple times per day, he could barely stand let alone walk, and he wasn't eating as much as he needed to. My friend let this go on until he finally had a seizure so bad it nearly killed him, then finally made the decision. She told me that she wished she would have ended his suffering sooner, but was just too selfish to do it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

My vet told me something very wise one time. I took him my old dog (who I'd grown up with) in because something told me she was sick and dying. After a short while he informed us that she was dying of kidney failure and that is was an aggressive form. While me and my mom debated over whether or not to put her to sleep the vet said that he would only put an animal to sleep when BOTH the people and animal were ready or the animal was in continuous pain with no chance of recovery. I can't tell you yes or no, I wish it were as simple as that. 

In my opinion if your horse is doing bad mentally and just screams that she's ready to go then let her. If she's happy where she is despite her age and physical status then why not let her enjoy her time until she's ready to go? My dog wasn't ready, we brought her home and let her meander around wherever she wanted and when she lost control of her muscles carried her. We woke up one day soon after that and she had died in her sleep peacefully, at home with her family. I don't regret this decision because there was little to no pain (I had asked the vet and he said there would be just that), and it just felt like the way to end her story. It made grieving much easier for me. 

The barn where I'm at there was an old arthritic horse that had a tumor in her throat and choked often. The BO refused to put her down because the horse still meandered a bit in the field, ate her special feed, had a light in her eyes and just didn't seem to want to go. One morning in the winter (ours get harsh too) she went out because the mare had been doing poorly and she was going to check on her, the mare was standing by the gate looking more miserable than ever and the lady knew it was time for her to go. The same woman's other horse is in his 30s, she considered putting him to sleep because she didn't know if he could make it another winter because he's arthritic, foundered and has cushings. She ultimately decided not to because she didn't feel like he was ready to go. He still chases horses in the field and runs up for dinner so she said when he's ready to go she'll have the vet out immediately. 

You know your horse, you'll know when it's time regardless of the season. I had a lot of people criticize me for 'watching my dog die' and maybe I'm just odd in that way because I never thought I would do what I did until I did it. When the animal doesn't want to go and when you know this it gives you a strength to be with them till the very end. I can tell you from experience you'll always remember the good times and her playing in the fields. 

Hope this helps in some way and good luck in whatever you decide.


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## Corporal (Jul 29, 2010)

I agree. I put down my 27yo QH, my 27 yo Arab ("Corporal") had a stroke, and my 35yo 13'2 pony, "Toma" just didn't want to go until the bitter end.
I think I know why--our horses and our dogs--our friends, and members of the family--can become very attached to us and they don't want to leave us. That makes it all the harder.
When "Ro Go Bar" had arthritis, stiff stifles, tooth loss and finally, an easy keeper that became a hard keeper, even with floating and Purina Equine Senior, I wasn't going to let him waste away. He deserved better.
You will know it was right, but you will have waves of grief for quite a while.
**hugs and prayers sent**


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## binkac (Feb 6, 2012)

I thank you for your quick comments! I have tried to make her life as comfortable as possible. Hense the feed situation. She likes going out to pasture with my gelding and they only run if the scary deer jump the fence. Lol! She is off but not head bobbing lame. None the less both of your comments have confirmed my thoughts so i will be making that call to the vet sooner than later. Thanks again
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## binkac (Feb 6, 2012)

That is calling the vet for her opinion
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

Give your horse the best you have to offer -- release. {hugs}


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

I would never let an animal lose their dignity or suffer, funny how we do that to humans however. Your horse doesn't enjoy eating any longer? For me, that is my horse's dignity and being able to stand up and catch a few zzzz's without falling over.


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## my2geldings (Feb 18, 2008)

I think you already know what is best for her. Her quality of life is quite compromised, and I think thats the way you have to look at it. If I owned her I would consider going over to the other side of the rainbow. She will be happy and healthy and go over to all the horses we have all lost at one point or another.

She is lucky to have someone who is willing to make her life better. I have no doubt she will appreciate being sent over to the other side. Never easy as a horse owner, but you're blessing her by allowing her to move on.


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## Kotori (Jun 18, 2012)

We've had three horses pass in the two years I've worked at my barn. One was only 14, but had a tumor on her pituitary gland. she was getting free-choice alfalfa, soaked beetpulp 2x a day, ricebran, 6lbs sweetfeed, and still was a 2 out of 9 on the BCS chart. She would trot out to the pasture and back, so no one thought anything of it.

Monkey was suffering from a progressive neurological condition (from possum poop?) and he was 40. He couldn't walk anymore= put down.

Sugarbear, my trusty steed for two years of lessons carried me on my first (disasterous) jumping lesson. I was going over groundpoles, and he kept trying to take me over the 6"-1' jumps that were left out. his owner rode him over them to show me how it was done. The whole lesson was an hour, mosty trotting. The next night he passed. 

It depends on each horse, but if she is still being spunky and energetic, then I'd let her chose.


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## Sharpie (May 24, 2009)

I never want to euthanize an animal on the worst day of their life. I want to let them go before that- hopefully after a nice warm day where they got to do whatever it is they love and get tons of their favorite treats. I want to euthanize them before they're suffering horribly, since I feel it is my responsibility to spare them that pain, no matter how it might pain me.


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## toosexy4myspotz (Oct 7, 2007)

I am going to be battling the same thing very very shortly. We have a welsh mix vet says he is about 26 yo but my husbands mother (originally purchased the horse for my husband as a child) says he is closer to 30 yo. But anyway. We made it threw the majority of last winter without any problems and then bam...it must have all hit him at once. He went from being a 6 to a 1.5 in no time. He was lame almost everyday. Vets couldnt figure out what was going on or why he had dropped weight so drastically. We were just getting our spring grass in so we figured we would give him a shot and hopefully he would recoop. Well, he is now no longer limping and is getting around much better but he is only scoring out at about a 3-3.5. We cant get the weight back on him. We have tried rediculous amounts of feed (he is on an all forage diet). All his blood work is coming back perfect. Its just his time. Im hoping my husband will make the call before winter hits because I do not want to walk out into the pasture and realize I cant get the old man up.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Toosexy, I have a 27 y/o that I keep a very close eye on, and every year I wonder if it's his last. It might be this year, as I'm having trouble keeping weight on him and it's still summer. I dread trying to put weight on him in the winter, as I know it's an uphill battle when it's cold outside.


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## Wallaby (Jul 13, 2008)

I dread having to make this decision for my 28 year old mare, I feel for you!!

In my case, my girl is Insulin Resistant, has ERU [Moonblindness] and is mostly blind+has some daily pain from that. However, she's nearly arthritis-free, still enjoys running around her pasture, and going on long trail rides [mostly walking these days, just to save her joints and because she had to take last winter off, then lost all the conditioning she had had...it'll be too strenuous on her to get her back to where she used to be].

Anyway, last fall she tore/partially tore a suspensory [from running around too much! haha] and seeing her gimping around every day was killing me. I started talking to people about when/what would cause them to think it was "time" and I started talking to my vet about our options. Lacey was, by the vet's estimation, "the definition of pasture sound" and the vet said that she did not feel [after Lacey shoved the vet, with her head, for not petting her 'soon enough'! ha!] that Lacey was mentally ready to go.

We decided that when Lacey's pain/discomfort levels [from her eyes or from arthritis or from whatever may be down the road] hit 50% or higher -as in, she's unable to do 50% of her daily activities without pain/discomfort- in a way that's long term [a part of ERU is irregular eye episodes where she'll be in intense pain and on high doses of painkillers for a few days, but she returns to normal relatively pain-free levels after that time], that's when it'll be time. Or, of course, if she seems to lose heart in the world.
But, as SR pointed out, better a few months too soon than a week too late.

I'm hoping that 50% thing means I have many years left with her...but you never know. Anything can happen tomorrow.


:hug: This is the worst part of loving an older horse!


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## toosexy4myspotz (Oct 7, 2007)

I have never had to put a horse down. I have never had to deal with a senior horse. Up until last winter he has always been the best looking one out in the pasture. 

As for my opinion to the OP, its hard to watch them suffer but I feel its best to let them go BEFORE they get to the point where they lay down and fight to get back up. Problem is distinguishing when its time. Its a hard call but when they start struggling and walking around everyday in a lot of pain. Its better to let them go. 

I have a (suspose to be) friend with a now 14yo horse with upper and lower ringbone. He was diagnosed 3.5 years ago and has been dead lame 4 months prior to diagnosis. No treatments have worked. Sadly, the other day she sold him with diagnosis undisclosed. He should have been put down 3-4 months after being diagnosed.


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## Clayton Taffy (May 24, 2011)

Better a week too early, than a day too late.
Good luck!


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## Celeste (Jul 3, 2011)

I had to put down an old mare because he broke her leg in 5 places. That was extremely upsetting, but there was no other decision to make, it in that respect it was easy. 

I have a 30 + year old pony that took great care of my kids when they were little. It is getting really hard to keep weight on him. He is not lame, but he is slow. He eats, but he is too thin. He is at that stage that makes it hard to let go.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

As thoughtful of an owner as you seem to be, I feel sure you will make a good choice. So much great advice and perspective offered here. Just to add, once you do decide, based on what is right by YOUR reckoning, don't look back and second guess that decision. It's not as if putting her down a month or too earlier is "killing" her. She was on her way out anyway, so you can not change that by making the decision to euthanize a month or two later than sooner.


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## SammysMom (Jul 20, 2013)

I agree with *Sharpie*. I want my animals' last days to be wonderful ones, so if she's relatively happy now but definitely not healthy and getting worse, I would want to let her go even though it would break my heart.

That said, you clearly love your mare, so I think you should trust yourself. If you decide to hold on, I'm sure you will make the rest of her life great.


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## binkac (Feb 6, 2012)

UPDATE: in case anyone is interested...

The vet was out yesterday, not my normal vet but one from our normal clinic. Her opinion is that although my horse has many issues, none are so bad that requires the horse to be put down right now. In fact she thinks she looks very good for 28.  She OKed the use of Bute on a daily basis, which went against my normal vet recomendations to help manage pain (something I wanted to do months ago, but was advised against it). She also said the horse was most likely anemic coupled with the heart murmur causing her heart to skip a beat which lead to her passing out and falling over when she slept. She had a fancy name for it and I'll probably spell it wrong - senastion. But because I put her on Red cell, it built her blood up and "reversed" the anemia.
I guess the bottom line is: she is doing OK, not great, but not horrible - we'll re-evaluate at winter.

Thanks for all the warm wishes, thoughts and hugs - you all are GREAT!!!:lol:


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