# Getting back on after bad accident



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

Three months of pain and pain killers and sitting on the couch doing nothing. One moment of stupidity and now probably close to a year of physical therapy and pain and another surgery to take out my plate. I had a terrible accident with my 5 year old haflinger cross mare that was completely my fault. I fractured just about every bone in my ankle, shattered my fibula, and tore all the tendons. I now have a plate, a bone graft, and 11 screws in my ankle. Now Gracie has been off to training (green rider + green horse= disaster) for another 60 days and I'm going to start taking lessons once I start ridding. 
I called the doctor today and I can start ridding since I've been weight bearing for awhile. I still walk with a limp, but life is getting back to normal and I'm working again. 
So...I hope this will help someone else one day when they have to get back on after an accident. I'm so scared and I know It's going to be hard to trust her again even though it was my fault. I will start ridding my husband's 16 year old been-there-done-that horse first. 
So...the journey begins. 

My foot about 3 months after surgery, when I started to walk again. There's also a small incision on the other side.









Gracie-my sweet, sweet girl :0)


----------



## themacpack (Jul 16, 2009)

Getting back on after a major trauma like that takes a lot of courage. Just take it as slow as you need to.


----------



## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

I had a back injury from a fall. The first 6 months or so back riding were really tough. I gasped and tensed every time Vida tripped or slid in some mud. It will be 2 years this November and I think I'm finally back to my pre-fall confidence level. It does get better honest


----------



## Dartanion (Dec 8, 2008)

Good for you! I wish you the best of luck! you are very brave to get back on! I tore all the tendons from my left ankle to my left hip once when a horse bucked and I got my leg caught in the arena railing and it twisted my leg back 180 degrees! OMG it sucked! I was 10 and no one saw it happen because my leg was faceing the rail AWAY from where everyone was watcing so they thought the bucked just scared me. My mom told me to ride for the rest of the hour and my leg swelled up OVER my boot. Went to the hospital and they have to cut my boot off *sniffles* After being off horses for 6 months all I wanted to do was get back on and ride BUT I do remember being TERRIFIED to canter my trainers 20yr old Been-there-done-that gelding. I look back and think I was pathetic but when you really think back I can understand why I was so scared. I ended up cantering and jumping him bearback after about 2 months of riding so YAY did a lot better. ONCE AGAIN GREAT JOB and go kick butt out there on your mare!


----------



## IheartPheobe (Feb 15, 2009)

I had a few falls in a row a few years back and was traumatized. I just couldn't ride without freaking out. I am now doing better than ever and have even started offering to ride the horse who I was on when I had two of these falls. If it takes you a while to get your confidence back, don't worry. Just do what you feel comfortable with until you're comfortable doing more. 
Kudos to you for getting back in the saddle! I wish you lots and lots of luck!


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

Thanks ya'll! You make me feel even more ready to take this on! maybe tomorrow if it doesn't give my husband a heart attach :0) Any pointers on lessons or teachers? Or should I just get on a ride? I will be taking lessons for sure, but I don't know how important it is in the big picture.


----------



## dressagebelle (May 13, 2009)

Lessons would definately help you when you start riding your mare again. Give you a safe place with eyes on her to make sure that everything is good, because those kinds of things leave impressions on the horse as well. But I think the big thing at the moment since you have your husbands trusty rusty horse, is just to get on and move around period. After that, once you feel confident and have your balance back on him, then you can set up a lesson for your first ride on your mare again. I wouldn't just jump on your mare as soon as you can, because if you are still off balance, and relatively nervous, she will feed off of that and possibly cause another accident. I wish you the best of luck.


----------



## Luv 2 Trail (Jun 11, 2009)

:shock:OH GOOD GRIEF - you did some damage to yourself! I know that was horrible to have to go through! Glad you are on the mend and you'll be able to get back to what you love and enjoy! I know it's going to take a lot of courage to climb back on a horse after your accident, but it sounds like you'll be just fine! Take it slow and work in your comfort zone and before you know it your confidence level will soar again! Here's wishing you the best of luck! Hugs.....


----------



## IheartPheobe (Feb 15, 2009)

If I were you, I would ride outside of lessons _supervised._ This way you only have to do what you feel comfortable doing, but incase you have trouble, there's someone there to help.  Weekly lessons would probably help, too, so that you have someone to teach you and help you through any problems you're having. My coach was very helpful in convincing me that it wasn't the horses fault when I scared to ride.


----------



## xxBarry Godden (Jul 17, 2009)

Semperfi. Well done. It might take persistence - but there again persistence is all. And it is worth it.
The choice of your husband's rock steady horse is good - leave the pretty 5 yo Haflinger for a bit - she'll survive OK until you are ready for her.

Plan a slow comeback. A little bit each day, every day, starting off in a nice quiet arena. Don't ride if the horse is off colour or on windy days. Lots of walking, a bit of trotting. No cantering until you've built up a few muscles.

You've first got to rebuild the muscles - stomach, lower back, thighs, calves. You've got to sit upright in the saddle and maintain the position. If you have a local Pilates class, that will help you build the muscles away from the horse.

You may, repeat may, have to rebuild your confidence - but to be honest that would not be surprising. You had a seriously nasty fall - for whatever reason. 

The biggest problem might be tension. Perhaps, subconciously, you'll stiffen up. Buy a book on the Alexander Technique and read it. Alexander is all about relaxation. Try laying flat on the floor and just let everything go. Relax every day. Pilates if necessary you can also do at home - again by reading a book but its best if you can find an instructor.

Why am I so positive - well after 33 years of riding I came off and made a serious mess of hitting the ground. I am an old man and was lucky to survive. As a result I lost my nerve for riding 12 months ago. I then came off again, several times, because I bought a sprauncy 7 yo skittish mare - big mistake. I had not recognised that I was too tense to ride. The brain said - OI, what are you doing? But with a lot of help from my horsey friends I am back on that same horse and she, God Bless her, is not dumping me these days. 

Work with the horse from the ground - so that it gets to know your voice, smell
and body language. Lead the horse in hand before you start to ride it. Get it so that it will walk by your shoulder on the lightest of pressure on the lead rope. When you reckon the horse is ready for your delicate body, then get aboard and ride it in a confined quiet area. Once you are ready to leave the yard, get a friend to walk with you alongside the head of the horse. Take it easy - there is no hurry - is there?

When you are eventually ready for that mad gallop, you'll know - but don't be surprised if you don't get round to galloping for a little while. Time heals.

Remember life without a horse is miserable. That's your goal - to get back up on your very pretty palomino and canter off. 

Best of luck

Barry G


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

I had a bad day today. The pain was pretty intense, so I decided to wait. 
Just to let you know what happened when we had our accident...
We went on our first ride around the neighborhood with my husband and his mare. It went really well. She was kinda spooky and nervous, but so was I. A big truck came down the road WAY too fast. I saw it coming and panicked. I'm pretty sure I spured her, so she spun (I was turning her so she could see the truck coming) and I fell off. She shied away from my when I fell and her back foot was on my ankle. I did everything the trainer who had trained her told me not to do. I got too confident....I knew better!
Last night the computer erased everything, so I got frusterated and shortened everything. 

And thanks all of you for your help and advice. Berry, thanks a million!!!! I took every word to heart!


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

*I finally got to get on again*

So yesterday evening we tacked up Dandy, my husband's mare. I got on her (mounting hurts so bad!) and just started crying. I wasn't scared it was just such a mix of emotions that I was overwhelmed. For months I wasn't sure if I'd even be able to get back on a horse and then to do it was very surreal. 
I was even brave enough to ride around by myself after my husband lead us around. I can't put my foot in the stirrup because it's too weak and it hurts, but that just gave me more incentive to do my physical therapy and get my ankle back to where I can ride. 
I still have this horrible fear of something I can't control happening and the horse reacting. I am very aware all the time that there is a 1200 lbs animal underneath of me and if that horse decides I need off, I'm coming off whether I like it or not...and it's going to hurt when I do.


----------



## paintluver (Apr 5, 2007)

Congrats on getting back on! You look great on her!


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

Well, my husband was out ridding and I was itching to get on, so I did...and I rode! All by myself for the first time. She was wonderful and I had a blast! No fear at all. My heart never skipped a beat and I felt relaxed and happy. There is nothing like that feeling of having that saddle and horse underneath of me. To have a 1200lbs animal so in tune with me that she does what I'm thinking before I tell her. To have her trust and understanding so much that I can tell her how I feel and she gives me all she's got and takes such care so she won't scare me.
In 2 weeks Gracie comes home from training. I am so nervous about ridding her. I plan on starting slow and ridding in the arena for a long time before I do anything "crazy". I think I'm more scared of my reaction then I am of actually getting on her. 
I'm also very frusterated about finding ridding lessons with a reputable trainer. There are so many people, mostly women, that think they are trainers and can charge for lessons just because they own a horse. I'm starting to think it would just be safer to ride in the arena all the time and just get ridding time under my belt. I can't afford to have someone mess this up anymore then I already have.


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

Well....bad news :-( I went to the doctor yesterday because my foot was hurting in a new spot. I have a stress fracture on my foot about halfway between my angle and my foot. No ridding for a few weeks :-(


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

Gracie is home! Now I'm scared. Anyone have any experience getting back on a horse after a bad accident? I just don't know if I can get back on her. She's sweet and gentle and wonderful, but she is a little bit of a spaz sometimes. I'm scared I'll tense and get scared on her back and get in another accident. 
Please...someone help :-( We will have to sell her if I can't get on her. I've put too much money into her to have her just sitting in the pasture.


----------



## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

Good for you. Take it at your own pace. There's no hurry.


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

I got on her!!!! Last night I rode her for about 20 minutes and today I rode her for about an hour and she was wonderful! She is so sweet and quite..hard to believe this is the horse that broke my ankle. Our trainer is a genious! He has made her into a horse I can ride confidently.
That first moment was amazing! There was never any fear and never any question. I knew I was doing the right thing and I knew this is where I belonged and I think she did too. I am growing leaps and bounds when it comes to ridding. Our trainer has been sweet enough to help me out so I can get back on her and not get hurt again. I am so excited that our journey together has begun. It'll be awhile before we can go out together, but it's a start and what a great one!


----------



## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

Congrats! Does she ever have beautiful dapples!


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

Thanks NorthernMama. I think she's got a little bit of chameleon in her. When I bought her she was almost white, this summer she was dark dark gold and now she's this cute little dappled pony. I love it!!!!! She is such a perfect horse (except the stepping on my foot part, of course, but I take full blame for that) and I love her so much!


----------



## welovechinga (Jul 20, 2009)

My friend does have experience!! she fell off a horse called remi! She broke her arm and got a metal plate. After that was fixed she got on to ride him and he bucked her off and she broke her nose. She thought that she would never even get on a horse again!! She is much better now with a horse called Karoo! he is gorgeous and means the world to her!


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

I've been ridding her on and off. Some days are great and some aren't so much. We did have a pretty big set back when the saddle went sideways on her. Thank God I wasn't on her. It slid as I got off. She stood there for a second, but when I reacted, yelling at my husband so she wouldn't jump on him, she started bucking. She bucked and bucked and bucked...and then came back to me and asked for help. I know it probably sounds rediculous, but it scared me pretty bad to see her do that. I was comfortable with the thought that she just wouldnt' ever buck. 
I've gotten back on her after that, but it did set me back a little.
I also had a screw taken out last week. I can't wait until I can do more then just walk again.


----------



## buddy09 (Nov 15, 2009)

yea i no how it feels i shattered 3 ribs on one of my horse a while ago and it still hurts. They shattered because my horse reared up and came over on me but it wasn't that that did it, it was the saddle horn coming down on my ribs that shattered them. And when u go to rodeos and you see them cowboys come off i have seen the good the bad and the ugly out come of it. one of my friends has a scare on his back from getting stabbed, another one just got stepped on and the last one ended up with broken leg and arm from the bull. When they say it doesnt hurt dont believe em their just lying cause it hurts like heck. But most of them at some rodeos i have gone to just drink the pain away and end up in the hospital for alcohol poisoning and the whatever happened with the bull


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

I rode her off the property today. We went ridding in a little open area and it was great. Then, we went down the road...along the fence which wasn't a smart idea. A car come up behind us and she noticed it before I did. I panicked, but worked REALLY hard on keeping my body relaxed. She got nervous and sidestepped a little bit, but did good. After that I got off when a car was coming. What a helpless, horrible feeling. I remember thinking...it could happen again and there's nothing I can do about it. AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I want this to end. I want to get on her and ride her and love it and enjoy it. A friend was with me and rode her first. She Was cantering throught he field having a blast. I am so JELOUSE! Why can't I do that? Everyone that meets Gracie asks, "this is the horse that hurt you?" because she is so calm and slow and easy going. Why can't I get over that?


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

Gracie and I have been ridding pretty routinly lately if the weather allows it and things aren't going well. I could use some advice. 
Gracie knows I'm scared of her. My husband gets on her and she side passes, turns the minute he asks, does eveything he asks perfectly. I get on her and I'm fighting her the whole time. The last few rides have been terrible. I got off mad and frusterated. 
She also spooked at some kids and spun. I shut down. I thought, "here it goes again" froze up and just waited to fall. This is not safe or productive because then she feeds off of my fear. 
I've been offered a gelding I know and have ridden for free. He's a sweet older guy that I could trust over anything. But I can't afford another horse. Plus, I don't want 2 ridding horses. One won't get the ridding time he/she needs. 
I can't ride Gracie alone. I have to wait until my husband is off work, so during the week she isn't getting the ridding time. 
But...on the other hand...this is my girl. On the ground I love her and can't imagine life without her. When I ride her we don't get along at all and I'm worried it's going to cause another accident. I always wanted a horse that I could braid their mane and tail and I've always wanted a halfinger even as a kid. I'm starting to think these are not reasons to keep her. She could be happier with someone that can ride her and enjoy her. 
What are your opinions? What would you do in my situation? I also worry about loosing all the money I put into her training because the market is so bad.


----------



## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

I think don't push yourself. Change your course of action. Instead of going back to where you were, start over. Do small circles, don't hit the rail and don't go on trail. You arent ready. Get on her, do small circles at the walk. Back, turn pivot, small stuff. When you feel like things are good, pick up the trot. Don't worry about what you could do before. Worry about getting that confidence back.

The reason I say do small circles, pivots, figure 8's and serpentines is because it forces her to focus on your every request. By not letting her just walk in a straight line she has to listen to you the whole time you are on her, wondering... what is she going to do next? And with you constantly telling her to turn this way, halt back, turn that way trot 5 strides halt walk that circle and back... you arent giving YOURSELF time to let your mind wander. If that doesnt work then I would enroll in lessons and let someone tell you what to do for a while. 

You are on the right track, just keep it up. If you feel terrified, have someone walk beside you on the ground. Fear is a powerful thing. It's really hard to conquer. Just don't give up.


----------



## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

OR...

I didn't type this at first because you probably don't want to hear it. I have a mare that I adore on the ground but I can't get along with in the saddle. I call her a "flaming witch, but with a B". She calls me the hired help, I am there to feed her and groom her but I am not worthy enough to ride her. She chooses who can ride her and I am not a chosen one. 

It may be that you should consider letting her go and settling for something more suitable. It sucks but it may be that she will be happier with a teenager that has no fear and does crazy stuff then with a "fuddy duddy" like yourself... (Don't feel bad, I'm a fuddy duddy too these days)....

Just something to THINK about.


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

Farmpony84 I am with you all the way. You didn't hurt my feelings. The instructions you gave me in the fist post are what I have been doing. I can't ride her out of the arena becuase it scares me. Even doing little circles and figure 8s she doesn't listen. She's feeding off of my insecurity. All that money I spent on training is going down the tubes because I'm letting her get away with it. 
You validating what I've been thinking (the whole teenager thing and me being a fuddy duddy) makes me feel better. I just feel like I'm letting her down when I think about selling her. I told her this would be her forever home and that I would always make sure she was taken care of. I guess maybe the best way to do that is to let her go. What a hard dicison to make!


----------



## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

Some horses are made for teenagers. It's like they feed off that desire that is within a young rider. If you take your time and sell her to an approved home, if that's the decision you make, then you won't be letting her down.


----------



## xxBarry Godden (Jul 17, 2009)

SFW
I have written a longer version of this but I decided to paraphrase it.
To sell or not to sell? - that is the question.
The problem is that the horse is not broken - the rider is.
The cure for you lies with you in:
re schooling yourself - back to basics + physiotherapy + Pilates.
and
removing the spurs, buying a riding hat and learning patience and persistence.
Getting you back into the saddle will take time - a lot of time - a length of time as yet undetermined. You will need courage. You have already discovered that it is tension and fear you have to conquer. You have an uphill mental battle to face as well as a physical battle.

It can be done - others with broken backs have done it. You will need help and encouragement. 
Have you got the bottle?

But there are three simple question which you must answer first: 
_what happens if the horse treads on your injured foot /ankle???
what happens if you fall again?
can you get to enjoy riding again?

_What you do with your Haffie depends on the answers you give to those questions.

Sit down with a piece of paper. Ask yourself the questions. 
Write down the answers. Make the decision 
OR 
wait and see if the passage of time changes your mind.

Be honest with yourself.

Barry


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

Barry Godden I'm going to answer your questions. Let me know if I misunderstood you. Your english is so much different then mine that it was hard to understand your post.
Question #1:
_what happens if the horse treads on your injured foot /ankle???_
This is very hard to answer. Right now if she stepped on it I think there would be a ton of damage because I'm not completely healed. It's going to be a long time before I am completely healed and rehabilitated. 
Question #2
_what happens if you fall again?_
_This is also complicated. The 2 times I've panicked on her since I've been ridding her again I shut down. I froze and gave up thinking: here it goes again. I'm getting hurt. I don't think of how to stop her or what to do, I just shut down. I do ride my husband's mare and when she scares me I don't do this. I think through the situation and react according to the training I've been taught. _
_I do think if I fell of of her again and got hurt I wouldn't be able to get back on. It took everything I had in me to get on a horse after this accident. I can't afford another one._
_Question #3_
_can you get to enjoy riding again?_
I have gotten to this point for a moment or two on my husband's mare. I was very happy when I got on Gracie for the first time because this was my goal. I had to get back on her even if it was just to sit on her. Now I'm doing more, but i don't enjoy rides on her. I honestly can't tell you if I could get to that point. I really honestly don't know.


----------



## SmoothTrails (Oct 1, 2009)

Have you thought about asking your husband to trade with you for a while? After I had a bad fall my father traded horses with me until I felt better about getting on the one that threw me. That might be something that could help you out. 

It can be so hard to relax. Try to think about anything except your fall. I know its hard, but it will help. If you realize you're not relaxed stop and breathe, walk your horse slowly and hum or sing to yourself. Part of what lets your horse know you are scared is that you forget to breathe. My step-dad got onto me the other day because being overly nice is one of the things I do when I am nervous. All the horses I ride know my tell, adn they will act stupid if I start out like that. Talk to someone else while you ride and go to your happy place.  

Good luck. I know how hard it is to get through this.


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

We actually have traded horses. When we ride I usually ride his mare and he rides Gracie. I don't want to sound picky, but I do not get along with my husband's mare and he's starting to get tired of hit. He wants to ride his horse. They have such an amazing conection and it's just not working out well for us to ride like this. Plus everyone makes fun of him on this little pony with a braided mane and tail :0) 
I just feel that if I had a horse that was more confident and had more experience they could teach me to be calm and take care of me. This gelding I'm being offered is like that. I had a blast ridding him when I leased him. 
The hardest decision is the sell her, but my Momma always said the right thing is never easy. 
Here is an example of why I think she would be best with someone more confident:
If I was going on a trail ride tomorrow I CAN'T ride her out, so my husband has to ride her. So, I have to ride my husband's mare. The best way to describe our relationship is it's like we're sisters. I feel safe on her, but we argue the whole ride. 
If I get this gelding I feel excited and ready to ride. 
I guess I've kinda made my decision, but evertime I go out and look at her it breaks my heart. How do you let go of a friend you've gone through so much with?


----------



## xxBarry Godden (Jul 17, 2009)

SemperFiWife

The subject of regaining one's ability to ride after a serious accident is an important topic for any rider. I have my own experiences of it and know how difficult it can be to get back in the saddle.

It is not appropriate for me to advise you over the internet.

What I have decided to do is to write a series of articles which will tell my story and to post them as a thread. Hopefully when you get to read the articles they will help you. I will advise you of the address of the first article.

Be patient and take your time.

Barry


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

Thanks Barry Godden. I look forward to reading them.


----------



## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

I am glad you've made a decision. I think it's the right one for you. Confidence and Fear are some really strong emotions. They can take control if you let them. NOT letting them is the hard part! By selling Gracie and taking on this gelding, in a way, you are taking back control. In your own way. Just keep your chin up!


----------



## xxBarry Godden (Jul 17, 2009)

The first parts of my story has been started back in the Member Journals Forum. It has a long way to go.


Barry


----------



## SmoothTrails (Oct 1, 2009)

Good luck. I know how hard it is. I can understadn that. I was lucky that my dad didn't mind dealing with my brat...lol. My little boy did look like a bit of a girly horse, but after a few months we were able to trade back.  I think you are right to get the gelding. I hope you enjoy riding together.


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

Gracie and I went for a ride yesterday and it was wonderful! I got on her after I decided I was going to work through this and I was going to be assertive. I set cones down and did exercises with her. She did awesome and I learned so much! No fear at all! And...best of all...no frustration.


----------



## GoldRush (Dec 14, 2009)

Wow, Semperfi...I read your story from the start, and all I can say is.."Me, too!" My problem started with lessons, and ended (is actually re-started) with me getting my own horse. 

I had started lessons with an "expert", who, I learned later, knew NOTHING at all about riding, safety, or horse behavior. This ignorance got me thrown into the sidde of a mountain, breaking my arm which to this day is still crooked, and always will be. I went through the fear as well, but found that taking it slow and easy was the best thing. After I got Sun, did a LOT of groundwork with him before ever riding him, I did go on a trail ride with my sister and her friend Jane. Well, Jane picked the route (her nickname up here is "Crazy Jane", so you can imagine the type of ride she had planned). We ended up doing the scariest ride I have ever been on! Through manzanita thickets, narrow snaking trails on the edge of a cliff, straight up or straight down...I was borderline freaked out. At one point, I lost it, and started to panic. My sister told me to look at my horse, and I did. At that moment, he turned his head to look me in the eye, and I swear to you, we communicated! He said "I got this. I'm here, I won't let you get hurt." I relaxed and thoroughly enjoyed the rest of the ride, safe and secure. The funniest part was toward the end of the ride! The saddle had slipped back (It was made for a wider horse than Sun, and I didn't use a breast collar)so it was more on his butt than his back. Then it started slipping to one side! We were in a bad area to get off and adjust. and almost back to the trailer, so I tried an adjust while in the seat. But every few feet, it would slip again. Sun was trying to keep me on his back, so he adjusted his walk, by the time we got back, he had adopted a sidewise crab walk! It was hilarious, but also taught me that he's got this, he;s got my back!
I'm a 'greenie', and Sun has been the best horse for me to learn on! Even doing grooming, ground work, whatever, he'll let me do it the way I think it should be done, and then look at me like "Hmmm, THAT was interesting. Now let's do it RIGHT!" He is a love, and I am so happy when I'm with him.
The feeling you described, about how it felt to get in the saddle again after your injury, just nailed it! I call riding "goin' to church". It's the most perfect feeling, where everything negative just drops away, and there is this feeling of 'rightness', an almost spiritual experience. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has that!


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

I know it's been forever..It's been forever since I've been on this forum, but it sure was crazy to look back on this accident. 
Now Gracie and I are loping the hills, going on trails, and doing anything I can find to push our limits. She rarely scares me anymore and we have an amazing connection. I've learned to be the leader in our relationship and I've also learned that no matter what goes on, this horse is the last to react because it takes too much efford. She is a lazy little pony!
My best advice for someone going through what i went through: Get on with a purpose. Ride to a goal be it to do exercise in an arena or, like I did, ride the property with a goal in mind. The one thing I did wrong was get on her and make her move with no direction in mind. I was in tune to her every twitch and move, so I got tense because I was too focused on her. Now that I've learned to look up, both physically and metally, we ride and have a blast. Next summer my goal is barrels. I know we will come in last place, but I've always wanted to do it and why not do it on the horse I love most in the world. Thanks all of you for all of your help through that hard time. it was good to know I could get on her and find friends.


----------



## Amarea (May 25, 2010)

Congrats! Glad your confidence level has been restored!


----------



## MIEventer (Feb 15, 2009)

Be very proud of yourself! Congrats and bravo on the huge step forward!

*claps hands*


----------



## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I just now found this thread and read your story. How inspiring to hear your honesty and how you found your way out of the darkness. How did your figure out the key? The "always have a destination in mind" key? That makes total sense.
I haven't had as bad a fall as you, but I did take a hard spill a month ago and was leary of cantering. If I am cantering TO someplace, it isn't scary, but just cantering around in an arena scares me a little. Having a destination makes all the difference in the world. 
You shall have to pass on this advice to others who post similar issues .

(SFW  I know this is kind of anal , but Riding is spelled with one d. I kept reading your "ridding" and it sounds like you are getting rid of something.. Ok, forgive me for pointing out that , just being persnickedy.)


----------



## Semperfiwife (Jul 17, 2009)

tinyliny said:


> I just now found this thread and read your story. How inspiring to hear your honesty and how you found your way out of the darkness. How did your figure out the key? The "always have a destination in mind" key? That makes total sense.
> I haven't had as bad a fall as you, but I did take a hard spill a month ago and was leary of cantering. If I am cantering TO someplace, it isn't scary, but just cantering around in an arena scares me a little. Having a destination makes all the difference in the world.
> You shall have to pass on this advice to others who post similar issues .
> 
> (SFW I know this is kind of anal , but Riding is spelled with one d. I kept reading your "ridding" and it sounds like you are getting rid of something.. Ok, forgive me for pointing out that , just being persnickedy.)


I figured out the key by riding and riding alot even if I didn't want to. I loved Gracie so much on the ground it would just make me more determined to love her while riding too. We went on a trail ride even though I didn't feel so good about it and I couldn't believe how easy it was and how much fun it was, so I changed my way of thinking after that and we grow everytime I get on her now. 
And thanks for the correction :0) Hard to believe English was my best subject by reading this post. I'm going to blame it on the pain killers :0)


----------

