# Barn Gossip



## Moonlight Tango (Dec 18, 2011)

I guess this is the correct place to post this.

How does everyone deal with barn gossip?

5 days ago my horse got hurt and the vet had to come out. In attendance to the vet was my mother, the barn hand, and myself. We were told to treat her injury just as a bad cut as it had not ruined any structure in her leg. The barn owner was home but did not come out because she cannot handle blood. The vet told us that 1 hour of round pen time was fine as long as she was not acting up. (i cannot ride her for a while)

Well today I went out to take care of her today and put her in the round pen for no longer than 2 minutes while I did something. Well, during that time someone saw me and "told on me", and when I walked her back inside to brush her I was confronted about it. I just acknowledged what she said and brushed it off, I did not mention permission from the vet, I guess I was just surprised and didn't want to start anything. None of these people were with me when the vet was there.

Well, I guess tonight as my husband (a horse newbie of sorts) went out to give her some love and attention, someone approached him and complained. He just explained what the vet had told us and that was that. Said person was not there this afternoon when all this happened, so I guess there is quite a bit of gossip going on?

I guess my question is how does everyone handle barn gossip? I am 26 and have been riding for 16 years and would NEVER EVER do anything to harm my horse, she is my baby!


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## Phly (Nov 14, 2012)

Let em talk. 

Apperently they aren't busy enough with their own life's. so yours can give em something to do. 

Tell em to go kick rocks and do what you need to do. 

Heck, be flattered that you're worth their attention.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sassypugh (Jun 20, 2010)

Let them talk I have some what problem were im at the lady that just moved her horse tells the owner everything that happens to me at the barn like i need an ok an i dont i have been around horses all my life an im 28 an have broke horses since i was 16 an she treats me like a little kid even after she moved her horses down the road to his other pasture an i ride with them an if anything happens shes on phone with barn owner


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

Let 'em yap. And have a discussion with your hubby about not telling all he knows to everyone in the barn. They don't need to know what the vet said. Keep 'em guessing, it's good for 'em. LOL!


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

What I found works best to 'stem' barn gossip is to be very upfront with the BO so that any tattlers will show themselves up and even more up front with other boarders. My last barn was FULL of young teenage girls and the gossip was rife, thankfully I either scared those girls :twisted: or gave them nothing to talk about.....either way I flew under the radar pretty much 99% of the time.


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## AnrewPL (Jun 3, 2012)

Hang on, think I’m misunderstanding something here. What do you mean? You were handling YOUR OWN horse and someone came and complained to you, and then your husband about it??? Is that what you are saying?


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

tell the gossips how it is , be assertive!, only problem would be is if u havent heard it from 1st party then u have no proof.

but with people telling u how to handle ur horse and what not, be assertive!!!!


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## Delfina (Feb 12, 2010)

For starters, I wouldn't board with a BO that can't handle blood! Horses are either hurt, or trying to get hurt. What's going to happen if your horse is seriously injured and there's no barn hand around? Is your horse going to bleed to death before the Vet arrives because the BO won't go help?

As far as gossip.... if you don't respond, they get bored and go harass someone else. I'm the permanent uh huh, mmmmm, oh... all in a distracted monotone as I keep right on doing what I was doing and not stopping or giving them the time of day.


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## hemms (Apr 18, 2012)

Word, Delfina.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I can see the let them talk attitude but that's not my nature. I'd approach all of them and give them the vets advise. Better yet if you can find out who this is coming from and target them, it's usually one person. 


If that's not your personality, and I'd guess it isn't then let them go, but they will keep going. Me I prefer to head them off. I stick the vets advise to my stall door with a big red circle and arrow and a note saying b1tch now! 

I think bullies need a strong hand, it just depends on your personality and what you think you can do.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Also keep in mind where they're coming from. They're concerned about your horse. I'm sure a lot of people have seen a horse worked that probably shouldn't be. They don't know what your vet said or anything.

That being said, there's worse kinds of barn gossip to have. If anyone asks, tell them what your get said. Get the BO in involved and the barn hand too. Barn gossip is stupid and its definitely best dealt with but at least this isn't because of a stupider reason.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Maple (Jan 10, 2012)

I've resigned myself to going to the barn, being friendly but using my time to focus on my horse. I can understand your concerns, we've all seen how the gossip spreads like wildfire - stand your ground when approached and tell them that 1) this is what the vet has said and 2) its your horse, and it really isn't their concern. 

I've been on the receiving end of the gossip, I've been hurt by it. At the old yard I used to organise myself around when my "friends" were riding - now i focus on myself and what I need to do. i may not socialize as much, but at least I know I don't have to be involved in all the crap that comes with it.


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

Ditto on not keeping my horse with someone who can't handle blood.

I am confused though as to what exactly the gossip is.


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## Delfina (Feb 12, 2010)

AlexS said:


> I can see the let them talk attitude but that's not my nature. I'd approach all of them and give them the vets advise. Better yet if you can find out who this is coming from and target them, it's usually one person.
> 
> 
> If that's not your personality, and I'd guess it isn't then let them go, but they will keep going. Me I prefer to head them off. I stick the vets advise to my stall door with a big red circle and arrow and a note saying b1tch now!
> ...


That's just going to escalate the gossip and if I was the BO, I would be asking the write of such an inflammatory note to please take their horse elsewhere!

Your horse is injured... are people talking? Sure... people talk about anything AND everything! The entire thing is probably a misunderstanding about someone feeling that in their opinion the horse should be locked up 24x7 whereas you are following your Vet's instructions. If anyone says anything else, just go "Oh she's doing just fine thank you, I'm taking care of her per the instructions from the Vet that treated her" and then turn and occupy yourself. 

Furthermore, if it was your BO that confronted you about this, you REALLY need a new place to board. Not only is a BO that can't stand the sight of blood not doing anyone's horse any good but the BO should KNOW what the Vet's care orders are.

My BO isn't present for every Vet visit, she has a life and I certainly don't pay her enough to demand that she watch the Vet treat every lil boo boo or give my horse his annual checkup and go "well... I think we should change X, X and X and see how that goes" BUT my Vet either goes up to the house with me after and we'll all have a chat OR he calls her (if it's something big and she's not home) OR he'll write me up a page of instructions. 

So when my horse gashed his foot open and I texted him pics, he had her on the phone before he even got there with instructions on preparing a stall, how he wanted him trailered (he was at my place right then, not the barn) and so on. The BO should never be out of the loop even if the care doesn't require her or her barn hands to do anything different than normal.


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## Moonlight Tango (Dec 18, 2011)

Thank you to everyone who replied. I have decided I should just stand my ground..I know what the vet told me and that I am only following orders. I'm a very very socially shy person so it hurt my feelings with all of this tattling on me even though I am only following directions.


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## Moonlight Tango (Dec 18, 2011)

AnrewPL said:


> Hang on, think I’m misunderstanding something here. What do you mean? You were handling YOUR OWN horse and someone came and complained to you, and then your husband about it??? Is that what you are saying?



Correct. I was out with my horse and had her in the round pen for no more than 2 minutes. Then I came inside and was confronted. Later that night my husband was alone cleaning her stall ect because I had a headache and something was said to him.


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## AnrewPL (Jun 3, 2012)

Moonlight Tango said:


> Correct. I was out with my horse and had her in the round pen for no more than 2 minutes. Then I came inside and was confronted. Later that night my husband was alone cleaning her stall ect because I had a headache and something was said to him.


 
I would be giving that person some advice, the advice would contain the letters "F" "O" followed by the phrase "and mind your own business".


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