# Stuck. (Mostly venting.)



## Shoebox (Apr 18, 2012)

As for the grain - it depends on what's in your contract. Usually they will have a feeding section where it says what your horse will get with what kind of board, and anything extra they have the right to charge you for. I would look at it. It couldn't hurt to ask either way but be prepared to her a big fat no.

That sounds awful. I would be up the wall if someone moved my horse from where I tied her. Sure, you can ASK me to move her. Don't you DARE go move her yourself unless I tell you you can. That just sounds like a terrible situation and if my barn owner said I couldn't so much as sit in the pasture, I'd leave. But it's hard to do that when there's no place available!

Call around. Ask to be notified when space comes available. Be put on the waitlists. ANYTHING is better than what you'd dealing with now.

ETA: I love sitting in the pasture and watching the horses. I have yet to see my horse get beat up because of it.


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## Freemare (Jun 2, 2012)

Sounds like you have had some of the same problems I had when I moved my horse many times. I had the same problem with the lesson thing and not allowed to the use the arena. I got mad at the owner and told him if I dont get to use the arena then I will sue. It said in the contact I was allowed to use the arena anytime I needed to. Then being told I cant. That shut him up many times.


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## Shoebox (Apr 18, 2012)

Freemare said:


> Sounds like you have had some of the same problems I had when I moved my horse many times. I had the same problem with the lesson thing and not allowed to the use the arena. I got mad at the owner and told him if I dont get to use the arena then I will sue. It said in the contact I was allowed to use the arena anytime I needed to. Then being told I cant. That shut him up many times.


Ooh, good idea, though it might make bad blood between you two... And having your barn owner upset with you could definitely take a turn south.

I've never had a problem with lessons. I've always asked when a lesson is going on if they'd prefer I don't use the arena, and every time I'm assured that it's okay, and the arena is big enough for two. We just stick to our respective sides and it all works out, and we don't have the hugest arena.


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## BossHoss (Nov 11, 2011)

Shoebox said:


> As for the grain - it depends on what's in your contract. Usually they will have a feeding section where it says what your horse will get with what kind of board, and anything extra they have the right to charge you for. I would look at it. It couldn't hurt to ask either way but be prepared to her a big fat no.
> 
> That sounds awful. I would be up the wall if someone moved my horse from where I tied her. Sure, you can ASK me to move her. Don't you DARE go move her yourself unless I tell you you can. That just sounds like a terrible situation and if my barn owner said I couldn't so much as sit in the pasture, I'd leave. But it's hard to do that when there's no place available!
> 
> ...



I draw/paint and my horse happens to love listening to music with me. So it's a huge stressor for me to not have a way to unwind now. I need to be able to sit in the pasture with my horse. She's good for more than just riding and it's a show barn, so I'm not 100% sure they get it. There are maybe 6 boarders in total? Two of them are show horses and the rest of them are horses owned by older women who only want to come out and ride once a month, or just stand in the stall and pet their horse. 

My horse hates being stalled, so that wouldn't even be an option for me if I wanted to pay $375 a month just to be told I'd get charged more due to my mare tearing up her stall so often. 

I was up the wall angry when I was out of town. Another friend I had at the barn said to me that the BO wanted to bring my horse in and use her for this birthday party/event thing they were having with a ton of children to groom and ride her and I was livid. 

I dont even want to go back to that barn, but there's nowhere else to go right now. :/ Super frustrating!!! Hopefully I'll get some calls back soon. I have been asking around, so hopefully I can get her out in the next month or so.

I have to give notice, of course.. but since she's off grain, and she's out with one or two of the BO's horses, I know she'll get watered at least! I've seen them neglect to feed horses who were on their last days of being boarded there. Ugh.

If I knew then what I know now!


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## my2geldings (Feb 18, 2008)

BossHoss said:


> I am, unfortunately, in a position where I can't switch barns until a spot opens up somewhere else. I have pretty bad anxiety anyway, and so I go to the barn to relax and be with horse, and it calms me down quite a bit. It's gotten to the point where hiding at home is actually more soothing than spending time with my horse, and I really, REALLY hate that.
> 
> I've had the delightful experience of being charged extra (on top of board fees) for hay and grain that my horse never got (during the winter, when she wasn't holding weight.) I have had my grooming supplies stolen, used, thrown away. (And various other items in my tack box as well. ) I had my mild-mannered horse's blanket ruined by the barn owner's horse, I've had my horse kicked and bitten to the point of becoming unsound and needing vet care and rest. (And no pasture changes were made either time, so the damage continued. ) I will leave my horse in crossties, and she'll be moved while I've stepped into the tack room to grab something from my box. I'll come back and she's been missing. They've usually moved her and of course I'm freaking out and thinking she's gone missing. Monday-Friday, the barn owner's got about 15+ horses that need to be worked and roughly 20+ stalls that need to be cleaned. After that, I am not permitted to use the arena because there are lessons. I am not permitted to work the horse outside of the barn on a flat grassy area because it "tears up the grass". There are no additional places for me to work my horse, so I can literally only work her 2 times a week if I come at a really inconvenient time for me (but is a convenient interval between lessons/work/etc. for the barn workers and the owner. see also: their day off) I used to work around this by coming in really late and working her. The barn has now added hours for insurance purposes, so I need to be done with everything and off the property by 9pm. I have tried to come in after lessons doing the week, but they've started working additional horses during those hours, or doing general maintenance that involves the arena and me not being permitted to use it for any reason.
> 
> ...


Absolutely you let them know you dont want her to be on "grain" especially if they are not doing what they are paid to do. What a nightmare of situation you are in. I could not imagine being in such a hell hole. What a horrible situation.


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## BossHoss (Nov 11, 2011)

Shoebox said:


> Ooh, good idea, though it might make bad blood between you two... And having your barn owner upset with you could definitely take a turn south.
> 
> I've never had a problem with lessons. I've always asked when a lesson is going on if they'd prefer I don't use the arena, and every time I'm assured that it's okay, and the arena is big enough for two. We just stick to our respective sides and it all works out, and we don't have the hugest arena.



I'm not permitted to do so, as all of the students are paying for "private lessons" and are to be able to do so without other horses in the arena. Parents get upset if there are other horses in the arena, so they'd rather appease the parents than the boarders I suppose.


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## Shoebox (Apr 18, 2012)

BossHoss said:


> I'm not permitted to do so, as all of the students are paying for "private lessons" and are to be able to do so without other horses in the arena. Parents get upset if there are other horses in the arena, so they'd rather appease the parents than the boarders I suppose.


I would think the definition of a private lesson is a lesson where the student is 1 on 1 with the instructor, not 'no other horses around whatsoever.' As long as the instructor isn't teaching you I wouldn't see an issue. I would try to bring this up and see what they say,


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## BossHoss (Nov 11, 2011)

Shoebox said:


> I would think the definition of a private lesson is a lesson where the student is 1 on 1 with the instructor, not 'no other horses around whatsoever.' As long as the instructor isn't teaching you I wouldn't see an issue. I would try to bring this up and see what they say,


I completely agree with you! I just wish the BO saw it the same way, as there are no other feasible hours for my horse to be worked. I just finished the interviewing process for a different job. If I get those hours, I am not sure how I'm going to see my horse at all at this barn. :-|

I've been trying to push the issues I've had with the BO, but if I've got my mind made up that I need to go, then that's just what I need to do and I don't want her to be treated unkindly in the meantime.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

Boy, that sounds like fun place to keep your horse, NOT! Rant heard, now get the hell out of Dodge & don't look back.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BossHoss (Nov 11, 2011)

waresbear said:


> Boy, that sounds like fun place to keep your horse, NOT! Rant heard, now get the hell out of Dodge & don't look back.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



EXCITING NEWS!!!!!

The barn I've been looking at just called me back saying they have space available for the type of board I am wanting and that I can come tour it on Friday.

THANK GOODNESS. <3

Maybe I can get the hell out of Dodge now. lol


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## BossHoss (Nov 11, 2011)

More good news. <3 Put down a deposit on a new barn. So I will be leaving cruddy barn by the end of August.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

Phew!!! Glad to hear that Dodge is soon to be in your rearview mirror!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BossHoss (Nov 11, 2011)

Yes, thank goodness!


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## water lily (Jul 28, 2013)

That sounds like the same situation I was in. I was totally frustrated with everything that I almost gave my horse away. Then I met a mediator at a tack exchange and she helped me renegotiate my contract so it is far. Everything was worked out fairly and now I'm doing okay. Her name is Kym and she runs justmediationinc.com. Look her up and see if she can help you. You have rights.


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

BossHoss said:


> I completely agree with you! I just wish the BO saw it the same way, as there are no other feasible hours for my horse to be worked. I just finished the interviewing process for a different job. If I get those hours, I am not sure how I'm going to see my horse at all at this barn. :-|
> 
> I've been trying to push the issues I've had with the BO, but if I've got my mind made up that I need to go, then that's just what I need to do and I don't want her to be treated unkindly in the meantime.


 
If your mind is already made up on moving, I wouldn't press any issues. Its just a matter of time until something opens up else where. I wouldn't make things worse then they already are for you.


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## dbarabians (May 21, 2011)

Bosshoss I am glad you are moving barns and hope the new one is everything you want.
Now allow me to advise you.
We all teach others how we will allow them to interact with us. You allowed the other BO to dictate how and when you can ride, pet, and interact with your horse. You gave her an inch and she took a mile . She had no respect for you and abused your good nature.
I will assure you that the BO would have moved my horse only once. After standing up for myself, She would never have thought she could tell me not to pet my horse or give him treats. Do you see the pattern here?
Stand up for yourself or you will repeat the pattern again in your life.
I fully understand the anxiety issue and the desire to avoid conflict but you deserve respect not someone who is taking advantage of your good nature. Shalom


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## Vogue24 (Jun 25, 2011)

I completely understand how you feel! I have experienced similar problems at a yard I was at for 2 years! To be very honest im not sure how I lasted that long!!! Youve just got to think that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and look forward to leaving when you can! Until then its a good idea to just get your head down and try and focus on your horse as much as you can and its welfare! You will get through it in the end!! x


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## BossHoss (Nov 11, 2011)

dbarabians said:


> Bosshoss I am glad you are moving barns and hope the new one is everything you want.
> Now allow me to advise you.
> We all teach others how we will allow them to interact with us. You allowed the other BO to dictate how and when you can ride, pet, and interact with your horse. You gave her an inch and she took a mile . She had no respect for you and abused your good nature.
> I will assure you that the BO would have moved my horse only once. After standing up for myself, She would never have thought she could tell me not to pet my horse or give him treats. Do you see the pattern here?
> ...


I was more concerned that she'd tell me to leave, and I had no back up plan on a new place to go. (All surrounding barns were too expensive or full. )  Good advice, of course.


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## BossHoss (Nov 11, 2011)

Vogue24 said:


> I completely understand how you feel! I have experienced similar problems at a yard I was at for 2 years! To be very honest im not sure how I lasted that long!!! Youve just got to think that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and look forward to leaving when you can! Until then its a good idea to just get your head down and try and focus on your horse as much as you can and its welfare! You will get through it in the end!! x


Moving barns on the 30th. It can't come fast enough!

I have had several ex-boarders get in touch with me and express that they felt the same and were so glad to leave. lol. Glad I wasn't alone!


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