# Funny Horse Disasters, Share One!



## AngieLee (Feb 20, 2011)

one time i was on my horse bareback and he had a mini spook, i hadnt know i had fallen until i was sitting on my butt infront of him looking up at his nose. haha sadly nobody witnissed it, so i dont know how i ended up onfront of him when i was on his less then a second before lol

also sometimes my friend and i will go on a road ride, and we will trot. if we are heading home (even if its down a long road and around a turn and down another road) he will speed trot home. my 14.3hh horse goes into standerdbred mode, MASSIVLY extends, and bombs it, at a trot. so fast i have to go into to-point because i cant post that fast lol my friend was cantering her horse and we were still going faster then them. We had to stop the horses, not being they were un controlable, but because we were laughing so hard we couldnt breath, let alone controle the horses lol


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## AngieLee (Feb 20, 2011)

iv also had one of the barn ponys stop, drop, and role randomly while i was leading him in, and my horse decided to bring the tree as a snack to go. it didnt work so well haha


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## Hunter65 (Aug 19, 2009)

AngieLee said:


> one time i was on my horse bareback and he had a mini spook, i hadnt know i had fallen until i was sitting on my butt infront of him looking up at his nose. haha sadly nobody witnissed it, so i dont know how i ended up onfront of him when i was on his less then a second before lol
> 
> also sometimes my friend and i will go on a road ride, and we will trot. if we are heading home (even if its down a long road and around a turn and down another road) he will speed trot home. my 14.3hh horse goes into standerdbred mode, MASSIVLY extends, and bombs it, at a trot. so fast i have to go into to-point because i cant post that fast lol my friend was cantering her horse and we were still going faster then them. We had to stop the horses, not being they were un controlable, but because we were laughing so hard we couldnt breath, let alone controle the horses lol


Hahaha Hunter does the power trot, boy can he trot fast. lol


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

I turned my solid black mare into a zebra for a costume class as a kid. White liquid shoe polish does NOT wash out well. Despite all of my bathing & grooming efforts, I ended up showing a zebra the next day for western show. Had an understanding judge and our picture on the front page of the paper when she stood grand looking like a faded zebra is still talked & laughed about almost 20 years later 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rookie (May 14, 2012)

ha good idea for a thread! 
I went out on the morning wrangle (gathering horses on horseback) one morning and my boss got lost in the pasture. He pulled out a flashlight, which caused my horse to turn tail and run. I regathered her and returned to group, who were all laughing. I guess from their view it was this little circle of light out of which the horse bolted. I was then blinded by the light from the flashlight and tried to gather a herd of elk thinking they were just really light footed horses. I sort of knew that as they moved but I really wanted to get close enough to see them. Next thing I knew I heard my bosses voice "Those are ELK". That was the same day that my pants tore open at noon. Not my finest day.


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## Ink (Sep 25, 2009)

We had a horse at the barn I used to work at that liked to bolt when you turned him out. Without fail, he would spin around, rip the rope out of your hands and take off. I eventually had to start leading him out with a chain over his nose since neither the BO or his owner seemed particularly interested in trying to fix this dangerous behavior. 

The first time I went to turn this horse out, I had been warned about this habit but wasn't fully prepared for what was coming. As I was standing there trying to get the gate open, he got away from me and took off down the road. I ran after him panic stricken, wondering what I would tell my boss if he were to get hit by a car or something. I was on the verge of calling her when he turned into one of the neighbor's driveway. I was able to corner him and take him back to the field. I never did end up telling my boss about it :wink: but I made sure to get the gate open before I brought the horse out from then on.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

I went riding once when I was younger in my favorite tattered vintage levis...

We got about a mile from home and I needed to pee. So, did my business and was attempting to remount when my mare heard her buddies holler for her. She spun and I landed HARD on my rear, she took off towards home. When I got up I realized my entire hiney was hangin out, with nothing under to cover my goods!
So I march home, get to the road, and there like a knight in shining armor is the best looking boy in town holding her by the reins!!!! He said he knew she was my horse, ditched his sportscar, grabbed her and was about to call 911 for help! (his family also owned a huge operation with amazing QH's!) I was so embarrassed, I couldn't hold my pants together so in frustration I grabbed the reins and mounted as quick as I could, gave him a thanks and rode off, hiney shinin! I was sooo mad!

He musta liked what he saw, we went on a few dates later!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## longshot (May 30, 2012)

Ok I'll cop to it but nobody better pass this story on...lol When I was about 16 (100 years ago or so) it was winter time and we decided we want to pull an inner tube behind the horse in the snow. I saddled the mare up and my brother tied the rope to the tube. He handed me the other end of the rope and I mounted. I looked around and thought (yes this made sense at the time) If I dally this rope to the horn it will have to go over my thigh and as we are galloping and frolicking in the snow it will put alot of pressure on my leg and be painful. So being the intelligent ******* I am, I decided to tie the rope around my waist... (yes seriously now quit interrupting!) we got all set and my brother gave me the thumbs up from the tube.. I leaned forward kicked the horse and hissed... well the tube moved about three feet and the horse took of like a quarter horse should.. but as the law of physics still applies (even in rural Idaho) I came off like I was tied to a telephone pole.. sitting in the snow I realized my error... my brother on the other hand made no comment as he couldn't breathe well enough for about an hour.. everytime he looked at me he doubled over.. For the record I can still only generate a chuckle over that one.. A full on laugh may be another 25 years away....


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## horseandme (Jun 4, 2012)

when I was about 7, my dad decided thatI needed to start riding my sisters POA lego, who has always had it out for me. I never had worn a helmet before but that day I did bc I knew he was going to do something dumb. so as my dad and I went out in the field next to us he dicided it would be funny if he ran as fast as he could us to the edge of the field. SO did lego, He dug in so much it felt like a crow hop, we were running as fast as I had ever so I kicked and kicked bc I thought i had control. I was WRONG! we ran through the fiel down the 5 acre yard and straight into the barn. My helmet gave me terrible burns on my neck bc it was tight enough I guess. Now he is so small and i can run him u and dwn the field bareback. Hes a little stinker though.


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## horseandme (Jun 4, 2012)

this year, I decided to take my new horse to a show that was abut 45 minutes from my house, Knowing he didnt realllyyy like trailors but he was fine. The whole show he did fine, just walked around and hung out with friends. But wen we went to leave, THe trailor breaks got stuck, COuldnt unhook it because there was something going on with the truck to! We put the horses in th sow pen and waited for hours until we left. We had to use someone elses truck and trailor. Left at 3 in the morning.


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## Rascaholic (Oct 4, 2010)

I was 10 and my brother was 9. I didn't want him hanging out with myself and my horsey friends. So I put him on a barn sour pony, thinking he'd just want to stay home. He fought that pony like a rodeo bronc. We were golden once we got gone, but coming back to the house and started up the drive and the pony bolted. Flat out bit in the teeth. He ran right into the pony run in, which had a smaller opening to keep the horses out of it. My poor brother splatted like a bug on a windshield on the top half of the pony run. He didn't let go of the reins(death grip X200) and the pony did a complete back flip. Fixed the pony of being barn sour though!! 
I admitted to my Mom what I had done while we were taking my brother to the ER. She stopped on the side of the highway and lit up my life HARD.
Brother had a concussion and a broken nose. Plus he had a slave of an older sister for 90 days. Part of my punishment was his chores and mine for 3 months. I had to fetch and carry for the little turd the whole 3 months.
He volunteered me for EVERYTHING. Grass cutting, raking, house cleaning, stall cleaning, puppy pooper scooper, dish washer; heck you name it, he volunteered me for it! Good times though LOL
He was the last one to ride that pony before he was euthanized. This was some 20 years later. We all cried like babies and he proudly told the story of how he broke him from being barn sour. He was HIS pony after that. He hated everyone else. I still miss that evil little biting demon.


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## Country Woman (Dec 14, 2011)

it happened last Sat I saddled up Belle and then I lunged her for a 
while then put the bridle on and had help mounting this went well 
then I dismounted and the saddle slipped causing the Belle to buck 
and I landed funny and hurt my leg 
Now the owner blames me for the horse bucking saying she did not trust 
me lol


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## longshot (May 30, 2012)

I have another entry.. shocking I know.. I was about 9 my mom was working on something and asked me to grab the grain pan and bring it to her. Said grain pan was right at the feet of her mare "Corky" aptly named I assure you.. without thinking I strode directly up to the pan, which brought me up to the horse's 6 oclock position, bent over to pick up the pan which is precisely the moment that Corky noticed me. right rear hoof to the right eye and this 9 year old executed a perfect Hollywood punch reaction, nice arc into a heap on the ground. Had the most beautiful shiner and even held onto the grain pan. So the answer is yes, as a matter of fact, I was kicked in the head by a horse as a child!


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## Maple (Jan 10, 2012)

longshot said:


> Ok I'll cop to it but nobody better pass this story on...lol When I was about 16 (100 years ago or so) it was winter time and we decided we want to pull an inner tube behind the horse in the snow. I saddled the mare up and my brother tied the rope to the tube. He handed me the other end of the rope and I mounted. I looked around and thought (yes this made sense at the time) If I dally this rope to the horn it will have to go over my thigh and as we are galloping and frolicking in the snow it will put alot of pressure on my leg and be painful. So being the intelligent ******* I am, I decided to tie the rope around my waist... (yes seriously now quit interrupting!) we got all set and my brother gave me the thumbs up from the tube.. I leaned forward kicked the horse and hissed... well the tube moved about three feet and the horse took of like a quarter horse should.. but as the law of physics still applies (even in rural Idaho) I came off like I was tied to a telephone pole.. sitting in the snow I realized my error... my brother on the other hand made no comment as he couldn't breathe well enough for about an hour.. everytime he looked at me he doubled over.. For the record I can still only generate a chuckle over that one.. A full on laugh may be another 25 years away....


 
holy cow.... I'm in stitches here laughing. That is fantastic! :lol: I have a feeling I'm going to sit here for a while chuckling to myself like an idiot.


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## longshot (May 30, 2012)

Maple said:


> holy cow.... I'm in stitches here laughing. That is fantastic! :lol: I have a feeling I'm going to sit here for a while chuckling to myself like an idiot.


 Glad to be of service...sigh*


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

That is HILARIOUS Longshot, I cracked a rib on the last part!

Rascaholic that story was classic! Reminded me of when..

I was 9 or 10 and didn't have a horse at the time. So my neighbors who were childless (they doted on me) let me come "exercise" their 18 year old, 17hh OTTB. He was their track horse and dead broke. So I was going to go over and my little brother who was and IS still a TERROR decided I wasn't going without him. I begged mom to let me go alone but she demanded I take him. Kid had NO interest in horses, only desire in life was/is to torment me. So I drag him along, thinking he'll just get a quick leadline ride and be done with him. OH NO... Sure ride double with him they say, I was MIFFED.
So we get going around their nice yard/lot and two of the horses on the exercise start fighting and trying to get free. The horse we were riding got tickled and started trotting, I start pulling him up but stupid brother started screaming and clutching at me pinning my arms to my sides! So here we go! Horse got further excited and broke into a canter. No big deal I remember thinking. I can ride this sob. So I start elbowing my brother to let go as we are speeding up, he starts slipping... we are almost into a gallop and my brother is hanging on to the fenders of the saddle, his body flopping around on the horses rump. 
I start to pull the horse up now that I'm no longer HINDERED! But we are close to a barn... So I set in and swung the horse to the left, sliding to a stop. My brother lost his grip and flew head first into the barn! Mission accomplished.

Of course I was blamed for the entire ordeal. Did I get praise for handling that 17hh OTTB? Stopping a bolt and staying astride that mammoth AT 9 YEARS OLD, oh and I was in an adult saddle with no stirrups? Oh no! I was evil.
The worst part, besides getting the tar beat out of me, was that because of liability reasons I rarely got to go back. Not my fault they made me ride double! Totally unfair.


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## Hunter65 (Aug 19, 2009)

When my friend - the good Christian girl let out a big fart and the sound scared her mare she bolted down the side of the road. Took her a long time to stop her.

Then there was the time she put these odd orange saddle bags on her horse for the first time. The first time we trotted her horse took off and the faster she went the more they banged her sides making her go even faster. That was quite a sight.

Ahhh I miss riding with her lol


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## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

My mom's ex-boyfriend was a polo player and told us of his ex-wife's genius idea....

She was holding a horse at a polo comp and decided she would be oh-so-smart and tie the horse's lead rope in a double-knot around her waist. Well, horse spooked and took off, dragging her back to the barn. Smart woman, right? :lol:


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## Maple (Jan 10, 2012)

Suppose since I've managed to entertain myself with all of yours, I had best add one for myself 

For those of you unfamiliar with TB sales; we are asked by prospective buyers to walk and trot the horses while they watch them. Anyway, I was there with a well bred 2 year old and one of the Darley boys came up and asked me go outside and trot him up on the grass... all the grass sections are on hills and I live in the land of rain so it was pure slop. On my way back down the hill my horse decided to rear/bolt/act like an idiot and he sends me flat onto my ****. No change of clothes and i had to go through the packed sales ring with a backside covered in mud  The only bonus over the whole ordeal is that to this day, this particular person recognizes me! haha


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## Hunter65 (Aug 19, 2009)

equiniphile said:


> My mom's ex-boyfriend was a polo player and told us of his ex-wife's genius idea....
> 
> She was holding a horse at a polo comp and decided she would be oh-so-smart and tie the horse's lead rope in a double-knot around her waist. Well, horse spooked and took off, dragging her back to the barn. Smart woman, right? :lol:


Duh?? Which way did he go....


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## longshot (May 30, 2012)

equiniphile said:


> She was holding a horse at a polo comp and decided she would be oh-so-smart and tie the horse's lead rope in a double-knot around her waist. Well, horse spooked and took off, dragging her back to the barn. Smart woman, right? :lol:


 I will, as exhibited in my first adventure, refrain from any comment on her alleged lack of intelligence


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## kait18 (Oct 11, 2011)

you guys have me dying laughing!!! especially longshot lol 

as for my story..hmm 

my sway back mare lil red is a great mare absolutely the greatest mare...so great she tries her hardest to make life for her rider oh so much easier. you would think as a rider of such a horse you would be happy such a large animal wants to keep you safe...

well we are strolling down the road me riding her bareback with my sis and cousin leading the way on my other 2 horses at the time. well those two girls decided to go for a trot and eventually into a canter now lil red loves to keep her rider safe by staying in her horrid trot and never pushing faster. eventually the two ladies ahead of me stop and turn around call for me to hurry up.. as they do we are passing a corn field right where one of the farmers was baling hay with his sons...did i mention cute sons... ok i mean like really really cute sons lol... well lil read decided as soon i try to 2-point her trot bareback that she wanted to walk...well as slow motion as you can imagine she comes to a walk i recollect myself on her or so i thought until she does this body shake...not a fast shake. but a slow shake and i slowly, i mean slowly start slipping to the side as soon as i am half way off lil red decided to put her head around and try to help me... by knocking my arm off her shoulder so i just completely fell off ... the falling i can get over...what i cant get over to this day is what she did after that... she decides as soon as i hit the ground and am half under her that is now time to take a pee break :/ **** i see her start adjusting her body and take a step over me so i was now behind her and it was like my brain froze...it was telling me to move my legs but i just couldn't... then i started noticing her ready to let loose and my brain started screaming **** women move out of her way... last minute i moved out of her way so she wouldn't hit me with her pee ... i sat there dumb struck for a few mintues as everyone watched what had just happened. 

she did give me a very apologetic look after that ..but i was so embarressed


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## longshot (May 30, 2012)

kait18 said:


> i see her start adjusting her body and take a step over me so i was now behind her and it was like my brain froze...it was telling me to move my legs but i just couldn't... then i started noticing her ready to let loose and my brain started screaming **** women move out of her way... last minute i moved out of her way so she wouldn't hit me with her pee ...


Would have been funnier if you had let her pee on you but I understand you lack of commitment to a humiliating event... LOL.. good one


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## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

Good grief, where do I start? 

Well...there was this one time where I thought it would be smart to do Around the World exercises on my horse bareback while he was walking home. Slid right off and couldn't get back on because I'm too short and he's too tall.

Then there was the time that I decided it would be fun to hop on my horse in the pasture without any tack. Rusty takes off and I do an emergency dismount. Except it failed and I landed on my knees.

And then there was the time I went down to the creek. I let Rusty start grazing and, silly me, I just tied his reins so they wouldn't fall down his neck, and I turned my back on him to look at the creek. I look back and watch Rusty gallop home. I run all the way after him, and I'm sure my neighbor thought this was hilarious, as he had seen us ride down to the creek. Rusty runs through our pasture and makes a big scene of jumping every jump out in the field. He stops and I get on. Oh, but it gets better. I decided to take him out by the creek again so he would learn that running home doesn't mean you get to stay home. Well, silly me, I thought it would be fun to ride sideways on a steep hill by the creek. Rusty is not the most surefooted horse, and he tripped, and I fell off the other way and watched him trip all the way up the hill. Then I waded through mud and had to walk him through a muddy field and up by the road on a "walk of shame." Never doing that again.

And then most recently...my dad had this tarp out in our garden that Rusty found suspicious. I tried to ride him over it, but he wasn't having any of it. So I got off and rubbed the tarp on his face. He was okay with that. Led him over a thin strip of the tarp. He was okay with that. Started leading him over the big strip - Rusty thought he was a big cross-country jumper and leaped over the tarp and his front hooves hit me in the calf, causing me to faceplant in the grass and then I got hit by one of his back hooves. Went to the ER to make sure everything was okay. Now I have a hitch in my walk. Not trying that again.

Yes, everything seems to happen with me and Rusty...


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

This thread is great! I guess since longshot is divulging more than one, I'll share some more too. :wink:

A couple are only disasters because I got caught, and maybe a bit stupid. They are pretty darn funny now. 

I've shared this one before but it's one of my all time favorite memories. I was little, 7-8ish? and we were at a horse show. My grandpa has always dipped skoal. My sister and I thought it was disgusting. We emptied out his can and filled it back up with dried up, crumbly horse manure. I can see the look on grandpa's face to this day when he got that to his lip. We laughed so hard as we ran away...but we failed to consider that we had to ride home with him. 

Mom picked up a small pony at an auction for us once. Got him home and he was an absolute butt. He was small enough though that us girls thought it was kind of fun. He earned the name AJ (Air Jordan) he was real good at walking on his hind legs. We'd go back behind the barn where we thought no one would see us. One would get on bareback, the other would smack him on the butt as hard as we could. Winner was whoever went the farthest on 2 legs. Neither of us truly won because we got caught. 

I am also guilty of killing one of my cabbage patch dolls. I was again, not very old, thought it a good plan to "break" one of the yearlings by tying a doll on her with twine. Poor Betsy Ann got disemboweled when lazy yearling scraped her down the entire side of the barn.


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## CLaPorte432 (Jan 3, 2012)

longshot said:


> Ok I'll cop to it but nobody better pass this story on...lol When I was about 16 (100 years ago or so) it was winter time and we decided we want to pull an inner tube behind the horse in the snow. I saddled the mare up and my brother tied the rope to the tube. He handed me the other end of the rope and I mounted. I looked around and thought (yes this made sense at the time) If I dally this rope to the horn it will have to go over my thigh and as we are galloping and frolicking in the snow it will put alot of pressure on my leg and be painful. So being the intelligent ******* I am, I decided to tie the rope around my waist... (yes seriously now quit interrupting!) we got all set and my brother gave me the thumbs up from the tube.. I leaned forward kicked the horse and hissed... well the tube moved about three feet and the horse took of like a quarter horse should.. but as the law of physics still applies (even in rural Idaho) I came off like I was tied to a telephone pole.. sitting in the snow I realized my error... my brother on the other hand made no comment as he couldn't breathe well enough for about an hour.. everytime he looked at me he doubled over.. For the record I can still only generate a chuckle over that one.. A full on laugh may be another 25 years away....


Oh. mY. GoD! That is the absolute best story ever! 

I am dying here!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hunter65 (Aug 19, 2009)

I remember when we were kids and had our horses across the border in Point Roberts (a tiny peninsula that belongs to the US). We used to ride our horses along the beach to our houses on the Canadian side, my friends dad used to buy a bunch of booze and we would ride it across. Not too smart now that I think of it, we were only teenagers. Any hoo this one time we had our horses in the neighbours back yard as it was empty. I had my welsh mountain pony in the yard with no halter/bridle on and his red blanket (he was white). My friend who was none too smart was riding her horse around the yard. I told her to be sure to close the gate when she was done, well she forgot. Next thing we see Cinders trotting up the path. I told her not to chase him, he was a terror to catch. Next thing I know they are galloping up the road towards the main intersection of our town. We ran and got the car and were going through town asking people if they have seen a white pony with a red blanket being followed by a dumbass on a big bay. They were heading toward the boarder, thankfully some guy stopped his car jumped out and grabbed Cinders as he ran past. Very scary though


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## bnayc (Jan 3, 2012)

Great stories everyone! 

I had a lease horse for a few months on my property, he was a crazy qh. Well one day I was attempting to ride him in the pasture. He got a bug up his butt and decided that he wasn't going to move forward. I sat there fighting with him for a while, then stupid me kicked him hard and gave a loud "Hyaaa". He persisted to give a couple good bucks and a very big rear. He held the rear for what seemed like minutes and I lost my stirrups. Some how I managed to stay and and he came back down pretty hard. I looked up and noticed that the neighbors were having a barbeque and everyone was standing at the fence line watching! I was so embarrased until they started cheering! Lol. They went on to tell the whole neighborhood that I was a horse riding master. And of coarse with everyone else being so cocky about their horses abilities I got multiple challenges to see who was better. 
Eventually someone explained to my neighbors that what I did was not good, so now I get made fun of every time I mount


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## HarleyWood (Oct 14, 2011)

i took my paint gelding and my moms paint gelding to trail ride last fall and these two hate each other but they went into the trailer fine. unloaded fine, saddled pretty good, and go into the gated area that surrounds the many miles of trails! then as we were getting on my horse tried to bite hers ear off, then hers tried to bite mines rump then mine went after his face and so on! we then started off down the trail mine horse wouldnt go very far throw a tantrum then walk a ways and do it for a half an hour! we then got to a very sandy part and my horse starts to paw and paw then starts to go down and i step off and he gets burrs! i pick the little devils off and get back on. we go a bit more my moms horse is amazing for her, he acted up the whole hour and a half. but loaded back up great!


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## mtngrl7500 (May 29, 2011)

I was on a trail ride with some friends that I boarded with. We trailered the horses over to this place I had never ridden at and we're riding through woods and some open areas and finally we come out on this big field with super high grass. My horse was 14.2 and the tops of this grass were as high as me in spots. So we're making our way through this field when one girl says to watch the ground because there's a big ditch coming up soon. I'm watching the ground, which you cannot see because of all the grass, when I just drop straight down. I freakin fell in the ditch! Thankfully my horse wasn't hurt and he was just as stunned as me, but it took three people to coach him out. Everything was grass! You couldn't see this ditch or its bank at all, even being in it. Everyone made fun of me for the rest of the ride, how I just disappeared, but it was super scary. I do laugh about it now, though...thinking how I must have looked to just drop out of sight.


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## Rascaholic (Oct 4, 2010)

Dh says I must share my first jumping experience. 

I went riding with some friends on what was to later become my mare. 16.2h of solid TWH mare. Friends parents weren't the brightest crayons in the box, I was 8ish but had velcro booty.I ASKED if I could canter her down the side of the road into our yard. My parents were out and I wanted them to see me riding the grown up horse.

We got to the ditch in our yard, and she jumped it! We land perfectly and come to a stop right beside my Dad. He was standing in the yard talking to my Mom on the porch. My itty bitty Mom vaults the porch rail (she says she came down the steps but she was moving to fast for me to be sure) and snatches my grinning and ecstatic self right off the horse.

She proceeds to beat the tar out of me barehanded. I'm dancing around and I was trying to explain and she just kept talking about me killing myself, breaking my neck, back, legs, arms, cracking my head open like a melon blah blah blah. She goes for a bush to get a hickory (more like a tree.) Thankfully my Dad intervened.

Dad explains to me I scared her VERY badly. Then my loving mother informs me after I return the horse I am not allowed to ride her EVER until I am big enough I can mount by myself. I say "Yes Ma'am" in the snarkiest voice I know I can get by with (which wasn't much with Mom.)

Well, my evil twin proceeds to enter my body and climb the saddle via my leather belt on the horn and saddle strings. I had done this several times before. (Yes, the evil twin is a smart *** kid and took possession of me on several occasions. Ok, that was my story and I am still sticking to it.) The ole devil and my evil twin prodded me HARD. I had to look my Mom square in the eye and sarcastically ask "How was that?"

I heard some things come out her mouth that I never thought to hear. My Dad is looking at me like he can't believe I am his biological child. His child would be wayyy to smart than to mouth off at the woman who almost beat her with a tree just a couple minutes earlier.

Mom told Dad to take the horse home. He swung up behind me. Mom explained I was grounded a month for smart mouthing. (again) I started to protest and Dad clamped his hand over my mouth. Smart man, my Dad. :lol: He explained a few things along the way. I still think he may have saved my a** that day, in more ways than one.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Rascaholic you made my day! Thanks so much, I busted a gut!

MHF, loved loved loved the "killed the cabbage patch doll" story. HILARIOUS!
Only one of mine made it to retirement. The rest died horrible deaths, beheading by rope, loss of stuffing from surgery, and there was an incident that involved some pee that I will never divulge!


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## Rascaholic (Oct 4, 2010)

FlyGap said:


> Rascaholic you made my day! Thanks so much, I busted a gut!


I hope it hurt as much as my butt did when Mom was done with it :lol:

I didn't want longshot to feel like the only ummmm, IQ challenged person around. And DH was ragging me about that story as my Mom STILL will not let me live it down. She still, to this day (I am 43,) swears I scared her worse with the horses than all my siblings combined. 3 boys and us 2 girls. I, however, do not think that is a fair assesment. BUT you can bet I'd never look her in the eye and tell her so, even at this late date :rofl:

ETA: Those poor cabbage patch dolls had it rough. I am glad to see someone killed one with a horse instead of a lawn mower ROFL


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## longshot (May 30, 2012)

This thread is very cathartic...lol We had a paint mare, was bout 14.2 hands and perfect for the "cowboy vault" run up behind, place hands on rump, and vault into the saddle... well she was also alot smarter than I gave her credit for (a problem I might add I have to this day regarding females). Anyway this procedure continued for many months (not often but just to show off for the 4-h girls) until one day she figured out the proper counter move.. drop the head and back up two steps. Only she didn't drop her head far enough to avoid contact with the um.. well lets say an athletic cup would have been needed here.. and allowed me to fly gracelessly over her head... Boy were the girls impressed!!

Ras I resemble that remark!!


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## Annanoel (Mar 29, 2011)

MHFoundation Quarters said:


> I turned my solid black mare into a zebra for a costume class as a kid. White liquid shoe polish does NOT wash out well. Despite all of my bathing & grooming efforts, I ended up showing a zebra the next day for western show. Had an understanding judge and our picture on the front page of the paper when she stood grand looking like a faded zebra is still talked & laughed about almost 20 years later
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We NEED pictures.  Lol!


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Rascaholic I'm STILL laughing about the "How was that?"!!

My parents never really watched me, I was the "perfect" one and they were much happier with me being out on my horse than running the roads. If only they knew!

I only got in trouble once with my horse and for smarting off, at 16 I did pretty good and was pretty smart around my mom. She's 2 inches taller and 170lbs of solid muscle, not a good idea to get her angry.
I was going to ride my mare, put her in the backyard with the pool when the phone rang. Let her loose to graze which was a HUGE no no... Sky crapped on the pool deck, it's that pepply concrete and I was just too busy to clean it off right then. Went out for a ride and came back to go swimming with my friends who got there before me, AND MY MOM.
Put my horse up and started joking to my friends about how peeved my mom was going to be about the poop, crapola. So I figure safety in numbers RIGHT? Took my friends in the house and there was mom. She gets on to us about how nobody is swimming until it's cleaned up, gives me the evil eye. Well, I had friends with me and was starting to get stupid with freedom so I give it right back. With a "Well you normally don't find out about this kinda stuff, haven't been in trouble yet. HAVE I!!?"
That woman grabbed my hair and without a word took me to the ground, in front of my friends! I can still feel her eyes burning in the back of my head.
I have never and will never back talk her again! She'll take me OUT.


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

My vet called me to ask if I still had a set of (horse) slings.
I did and he asked if I could bring them as fast as I could to a place where they were needed urgently.
I arrived to find Police cars, Fire Engine and several other people milling around.
I drove into the filed which happened to be on a cliff with a 30+ feet drop to rocks and the sea.

A 13.2 pony had somehow got through the fence and was happily grazing on a 4' wide ledge about 10 feet down.

It was decided that the only way to get him up was to put him in slings and hoist him up. Other people arrived and set up a rigging ropes threaded through and the end tied to a Land Rover.

Ian, the vet, looked at me and admitted he hated heights. I told him not to be such a wuss. 
So the vet was rigged up with safety harness and next thing they started to harness me up. I asked why and they said that Ian insisted because I knew how to fit the slings and knew how to handle horses. 

We lowered to the ledge. Pony was totally unconcerned - barely raised his head from grazing. 
Back then there were not the dopes that are around today and often a horse would fight it and do silly things so, as he seemed quiet enough we set about fitting the slings around him
Where straps were to big we knotted them to shorten them up. Added a couple of others so he could not slip forward or backwards. All this time Ian was cliff side whilst I was balanced on the edge. 

Pony strapped in tight and the word was given to lift. Honestly you would have thought it was the norm for that pony to be raised all four feet off the ground because all he did was paddle slightly as he rose the first few feet and then just admired the view.

Once on solid ground all he wanted to do was to continue eating whilst we removed the slings.. 
A slight hair loss on the outside of one knee was all the damage.

Only afterwards were my knees shaking!


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## longshot (May 30, 2012)

FlyGap said:


> I have never and will never back talk her again! She'll take me OUT.


Aint it funny how human and equine mothers are alike.. any disrespect is answered with a very swift and severe kick??? I love my mom butr she will always and forever be the meanest woman I know.. thanks mom!! I needed it!


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## kait18 (Oct 11, 2011)

fly gap i have one very similiar to that last story of yours..

i was helping my dad out on some of the fields one day just doing maintenece and at the end of the nightg when we let the horses back into the fields we forgot to latch one of the gates...

well i woke up the next morning to my mom screaming "KAITLIN YOU BETTER WAKE YOUR *** UP AND GET DOWN HERE "... i remember so vividly the way her voice sounded.. i have never been so scared in my life... well everyone in my family woke up and came down to see what my mom was mad at me for.. i was the child who did no wrong ;p

well i walk downstairs headdown not making eye contact trying to figure out what i did.. when i peak up and see my dad laughing and my mom glaring at me... so i ask in an oh so nice voice.. mommy whats wrong. 

oh she let me know what was wrong... lol she came right at me grabbed my hair and dragged me to the back porch where i soon found a few piles of horse poop and noticed all here flowers she had just planted the day before were eatten, not to mention the whole ordeal that went around planting those flowers...  , so of course when i see this i start laughing and ask if that was it... worst thing i could have said ...

she starts screaming is that it, are you kidding me!!! and grabs my hair again and drags me to the side porch... which is 4 steps up from the ground with a small porch... to find one of the horses standing by the screen door scratching there hind end on the screen. then i start busting out laughing and now my dad is with us again who is also laughing..but not mom lol

so i ask again is that it mom, i will clean and fix everything i promise... oh her comment after that made me just about fall over dying laughing.. "you think this is funny well this is only the least of your **** problems child, just wait til you see what your **** horses did to the front of the house"

so we head over there, this time no hair pulling, i just followed... well do you guys no those screen coverings to go over doorways that are connected in the middle by magnets?? well we have that in our front door...so as we make it around our living room hallway to get to the front door i start hearing hooves on the tile... all i kept thinking was please oh please dont be in the house... yeap one of them was in the house in the front foyer and let out one nice pile of s*** which set my mom off the roof and my dad into an official crying laughter that was uncontrollable, another was right in the doorway half in half out and then there was one horse still on the front porch... then when i finally got them out of the house i see all the droppings on the porch and all the flowers gone in the front of the house as well...

needless to say after that eventful day no one never forgot to latch the gate... and of course i was sentenced to cleaning the whole house, powerwashing and cleaning all porches, mowing the lawn, and picking up every last drop of droppings, and fix all flower beds and gardens the horses ate, on top of that i had a nice punishment from mom that lead to sore butt, then i was sentenced to more man labor chores. it took me 2 weeks to get everything to my moms standards all the while i was grounded

definitely the worst days of my life...but i will say my dad and mom constantly joke about it to this day... i also learned that horses are not welcomed in the house because they are not potty trained


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## Hunter65 (Aug 19, 2009)

OMG the stories. My mom was a meanie but no hair pulling. She did throw me UP the stairs once when I snuck out and got brought home by the cops.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

LIKE THAT 1,000 TIMES! What is it about hair?

FORGOT! I heard one last night at a BBQ! 

Our good friend down by the river had a huge party last night (probably why I forgot). I'm talking to a group of people, one a particularly cool outdoorsy girl that just moved here. I ask her if she rides, oh no she says, too scared. Then my friends Wife pipes up and says she really wanted horses for her son when he was younger but her husband had too many horror stories and wouldn't let her get him one.
So I turn to him and ask him to GIVE IT UP!
So when he was 11 he lived on a huge farm in Louisiana. His mom bought him and his brother a pony. Thing was EVIL, terribly barn sour, and just plumb dangerous. Neither boys had the guts to continue riding him and thought they'd hitch him to the pony cart so both could get a go at driving him. They make it out and are heading back just fine, WOW! This is GREAT, pony drives so now they have wheels! 
Then... They get the barn in sight, at least a half mile away when all hell breaks loose and the pony charges for home. The cart was totally out of control bouncing around and throws the brother, my friend hangs on and tries to get it under control but the gate is coming up and he knew he was in for a major crash. He ditches and lands hard in the road, rolls and then smacks into a tree. 
Parents come running and have to take my friend to the hospital, apparently he ruptured his appendix in the fall!
Funny part.
So he gets out of surgery and is lying in the hospital bed, back then any surgery was a bigger deal. His mom and dad walk in, give him a kiss on the head and tell him... "Son you are going to be just fine, we'll see you tomorrow." and head off to the Cotton Bowl! They never missed a game, especially one between Arkansas and LSU!


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## longshot (May 30, 2012)

OH DANG.. ponies and carts... Um I hate to dominate a thread.. but reminded me of my Pony + radio flyer story.. no serious injuries but dang ponies seem faster when you are dragged uncontrolled behind one in a radio flyer!! I only crashed in the yard though..lol


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## kait18 (Oct 11, 2011)

dont even start with radio flyers lol..i have plenty of embarrassing stories to go along with them as well :/


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

Rascaholic said:


> Dh says I must share my first jumping experience.
> 
> I went riding with some friends on what was to later become my mare. 16.2h of solid TWH mare. Friends parents weren't the brightest crayons in the box, I was 8ish but had velcro booty.I ASKED if I could canter her down the side of the road into our yard. My parents were out and I wanted them to see me riding the grown up horse.
> 
> ...



I think your mother and mine must be sisters!

My mother was always very fair, arguments that didn't stop when we were told were reason for a slap - she was fain in that she slapped everyone in that room. Those slaps, always on the butt, top of the legs or arms didn't leaver hand prints - they left fingerprints!

Last time my mother slapped me was one Christmas day. I was about 22 - Dad had been delivering presents and returned home the worse for drink.
I remarked, laughingly "Oh, Dad is p1ssed!" 
Without hesitating she grabbed my arm, pulled it tight and slapped me saying, with each slap, "You know I hate that word!"
She could still leave fingerprints and my reaction was to cry - not because it hurt but because as a kid, if she landed you one and you didn't cry, you got another!

Immediately she apologised but it was automatic when she heard us swear. 

Thing was I am taller by 5" and heavier by 20 lbs and certainly far, far stronger but it would never cross my mind to have hit her back!


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## Rascaholic (Oct 4, 2010)

Foxhunter said:


> I think your mother and mine must be sisters!*ROFL anything is possible :lol:*
> 
> My mother was always very fair, arguments that didn't stop when we were told were reason for a slap - she was fair in that she slapped everyone in that room. Those slaps, always on the butt, top of the legs or arms didn't leaver hand prints - they left fingerprints! *It's looking a lot more like we might be kin.*
> 
> ...


I'd never dare hit my Mom and would beat the *** off anyone else who tried! The worst fight my younger brother and I ever got into was because he yelled at my Mom. I was 38, he 37. I couldn't help it. He was in her face yelling when I came in, so I clocked him right in the snout. It was on like donkey kong.


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## sommsama09 (Oct 28, 2010)

Subbing


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

Annanoel said:


> We NEED pictures.  Lol!


I'll see if my mom can dig up the old newspaper. I'm sure she has it somewhere. Buttons looked pretty funny and I just looked ****ed. :lol:


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## ragingtiger (Jun 14, 2012)

although it was kind of funny at the time, its even funnier now looking back at it. when i was 13 i was at my first or second show with my mare at the time annie. she had never showed before but was doing great warming up jumping in the ring and didnt refuse once.....but when it was our turn to jump i must have be nervous and scared her!!


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

What a good mare to just stand for you


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## GoldSahara (May 4, 2010)

Hmmmm, where to start.

When I was first learning to ride my trainer, a group of other students, and I were loping out on a grassy hill. Weeeee! so much fun! Everybody's favorite part of riding. Until the lesson horse gets just as excited and gives a nice buck in glee. It wasn't a strong buck but being such a new rider I was terrified. Or I would have been, except that he did what a lot of horses do at the same time. Farted! I cracked up laughing. It taught me a great lesson. I still laugh every time I face a dangerous situation. Like a car wreck. Car accidents crack me up! The other passengers/driver haven't liked this.


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## GoldSahara (May 4, 2010)

Okay, a couple more. Both envolve my husband. He hasn't had good luck with horses.

We were on a dude string in Hawaii on our honeymoon. The horses were all named after celebrities. Mine was Jet Li, my husbands was Sandra Bullock, and the guide was on Orlando Bloom. (I wouldn't mind riding Orlando Bloom *wink* *wink*). Apparently Sandra Bullock and Orlando Bloom don't get along too well. She charged him when we were almost back to the barn. I guess he looked at her the wrong way. I think the guide was more nervous than my husband, though!

Another one with my husband (poor guy). When he was first learning to ride our gelding, a 20 something ex therapy arabian, he didn't quite have the correct amount of rein pulled up. I had been leading him around, but he was ready to head out on his own. He turned the horse away, and typical for my horse he headed back to the barn. My husband tried to turn him back away but the horse couldn't feel it because the reins were way too loose. This made my husband nervous so he tensed up. This old arabian took off like a shot. Husband just hanged on for the ride all the way back till the horse skidded to a halt at the gate. My husband got off the horse and turned back to me, still standing in same spot, and said "That's it. I'm done." I still have to coerce him with sweet nothings to get him back on that horse.


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## Spirit Lifter (Apr 23, 2012)

At feeding time for grain, all the horses stand at the electric fence that is about 4' high, waiting to be let into their stalls. The BO put up the electric fence about 5' from the barn door because some of the horses were rubbing their tails on the barn putting dents in the metal barn. So the BO opens the barn door then she opens each stall door and the last thing she does is open the electric fence to let them in to eat. Well my QH has observed this routine twice a day for two months now. 

On this particular day, the BO after opening all the stall doors turns around to head over to the electric fence to let in the horses to eat their grain. And what does she see?? My 15h horse is down on her belly, crawling on all fours UNDER the electric fence to be first in her stall to eat!!! Well I couldn't believe it! I get to the barn, after hearing the story again, check Spirit's belly and sure enough....it's filthy from crawling under the electric wire. 

I've got to get this on video as it is still happening. Now if I can just get her to do it on command! One smart horse!


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## gigem88 (May 10, 2011)

Last summer my mare (diva to the max) went into the chicken yard (maybe 10 ft square) and locked herself in with the chickens! Didn't find her until the next morning, she was not happy and let me know....I got a good neighing at!!


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## Hunter65 (Aug 19, 2009)

SpiritLifter said:


> At feeding time for grain, all the horses stand at the electric fence that is about 4' high, waiting to be let into their stalls. The BO put up the electric fence about 5' from the barn door because some of the horses were rubbing their tails on the barn putting dents in the metal barn. So the BO opens the barn door then she opens each stall door and the last thing she does is open the electric fence to let them in to eat. Well my QH has observed this routine twice a day for two months now.
> 
> On this particular day, the BO after opening all the stall doors turns around to head over to the electric fence to let in the horses to eat their grain. And what does she see?? My 15h horse is down on her belly, crawling on all fours UNDER the electric fence to be first in her stall to eat!!! Well I couldn't believe it! I get to the barn, after hearing the story again, check Spirit's belly and sure enough....it's filthy from crawling under the electric wire.
> 
> I've got to get this on video as it is still happening. Now if I can just get her to do it on command! One smart horse!




Hahaha must be the Pally in her. Hunter is the same way smart little devil.
When he was younger he was staying at the barn he is actually boarded at now (was there for training) and he shimmied out under the fence so when I brought him back to my old barn he got stuck under his gate one day. He was halfway out on the grass and the other half inside his paddock. The BO had to call her husband to come get the gate off of him, she was panicked that he would be stressed but nope once he realized he was stuck he just calmly laid there until someone came to save him. I wish she would have taken a picture, I would have liked to see him shimmying along on his side.. If he would have tried it under the fence he would have gotten out so they had to put lower boards all around his paddock. I ended up moving him to the trainers barn and he is now in a paddock in lockdown. A couple of Saturdays ago I thought I would put him out in the field for a while as he hadnt been out there in a while (was getting into too much trouble). Apparently he shimmied out under the fence destroyed the hay shed and was found down the street by the neighbors. Back into the paddock. The next morning BO went to feed Hunters paddock was empty and he was in the hay shed. The following Thursday I stopped by to check on him and he was covered in cuts and chunks of skin missing. We counted 14 of them and some bad ones on his back. Texted the BO wtf not happy. She texted me back her either. Apparently 5 minutes before she was leaving for work she went out to feed (dressed in a cocktail dress) got to Hunters paddock and he was gone. Then she sees his ears somewhere in the middle of blackberry brambles. She had to go out and get him. He went over a round bale and took out 3 2" x 6's. Too smart for his own good, now he is in a secure paddock with a chain on the gate because he has figured out how to open it.


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## GoldSahara (May 4, 2010)

Lol! Those chickens were really confused on what that big featherless chicken was doing!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

GoldSahara said:


> Lol! Those chickens were really confused on what that big featherless chicken was doing!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Bahaha I know right?! Those chickens must have been really stirred up lol.


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## Hunter65 (Aug 19, 2009)

The other funny thing he did was when I met the ranchers out behind our vacation property. My friend is related to them and goes up all the time to help them round up cows, brand etc. She came up to our property and said lets ride over so you can meet them. At that time I wasn't using a saddle yet on Hunter so I just had a bareback pad. So here I was on my pony with sweats and a tank top on and my little English helmet, Oh and a bitless bridle, going to meet the cowboys. Got some pretty funny looks. Anyhoo as we were all sitting there chatting Hunter decided he wanted to eat grass and I kept pulling back on the reins not letting him. He finally got tired of this game and promptly went down on his front knees tail in the air and me on his back and proceeded to eat grass. OMG the looks on all those cowboys faces was priceless.
The next day we rode over there again, this time I had my saddle on him for the first time. I have an Aussie saddle, some of the cowboys walked up and looked at it but never said a word. Probably wondering wth? My poor friend, they musta wondered how she could be friends with this odd city girl lol


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## Spirit Lifter (Apr 23, 2012)

It must be a Pali thing! That's why I try to stay one step ahead of her thinking. 

The other really scary thing Spirit did was my fault totally and could have lead to her death. This rider at the barn asked me to help her put her new bit on her bridle. I was new to riding and thought well okay, let me tie up my horse as I was just about to ride her. Her being spoiled by me in some regards, I tied her on a long lead so she could eat grass, thinking that Spirit would be happy to wait on me if she was eating. :hide: Well every couple of minutes I would check on her as we were in the barn putting her bridle together. I was nervous having her tied out there, me being new and all. Well about the 3rd time I checked on her she was standing there with her front left foot sticking straight out as the lead rope and gotten tangled around that leg. :shock::shock: She was waiting for me to fix it patiently. So, of course, I freaked out, ran to pull my safety knot loose! She lost her balance on three legs and went to adjust when all of a sudden the post (which was dry rotted) came out of the ground of which she was still tied to!!! :shock::shock::shock:So I say "WHOA, WHOA!!!!!" which she did. She just stood there, lead rope and pole attached, waiting for me to disconnect her. OMG, if she had taken off running with that post dragging behind her........you get the picture. Luckily it turned out well. I learned a life lesson that day on not tying on a long lead...EVER! Still haunts me how lucky I was (and the horse) so right now I can't find it in me to laugh about it.


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## GoldSahara (May 4, 2010)

I also had a bad experience when I stupidly tied on a long lead. My horse got tangled up and fell down. Luckily unhurt. I felt like the worst owner ever! I also one time didn't put my mares winter blanket on right. She ended up with the elastic back leg bands wrapped around both her back legs. No idea how long she stood there before I found her. Could have been hours! Again, luckily unhurt.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hailey1203 (Dec 12, 2010)

I was doing a costume ride at a horse camp i worked at. I decided i was going to ride my new a horse (A 17hh grey warmblood) Bareback in a prom dress (shorts underneath of course. Didnt want horse hair in the unmentionables!). A 20 year old, poofy prom dress, that just barely fit. Im pretty sure i was holding my breath the entire time. Anyways, there was about 15 of us all decked out on costumes, and we decided we were gonna ride through the trails to the lake to get some awesome photos.

We were riding along just fine when we get to a place where to trail is about 7 feet wide. This part of the trail was completely flooded with about a foot and a half of water. Not a big deal? We can walk across right? Turns out my new horse doesnt like water. Or so he decided halfway through the puddle. Anyways, he threw his head down and gave a little buck. Wouldnt have bee a problem, with a saddle and appropriate atire. 

I managed to land square on my butt. In this prom dress. Completely soaked while my horse calmly is standing on the other side looking at me like im crazy. Not to mention, the extremely tight bodice of the dress decided now was the time to completely split up the side. Needless to say, the people i was with laughed and laughed. They still wont let me live it down :/


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## longshot (May 30, 2012)

How about a horse disaster in the making?.. My youngest (the horse nut) wants to ride away from her wedding (just a dream, no takers yet) with the future Mr. Wonderful on horses.. not in a carriage.. but astride side by side off into the sunset.... ahhh what a lovely picture.. why do I see a crowhopping pair of knuckleheads running sideways through the remains of the reception???


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Happens all the time. Wedding dresses + grooms that have never ridden before + crazy reception + multitudes of people = DISASTER!
Hire them a carriage.


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## PurpleMonkeyWrench (Jun 12, 2012)

Oh I have one from today LOL my second time saddling up Western and apparently I did it incorrectly so my saddle slid to the right and off I went ROFL. All caught on camera. A thread will be made later with the video =P


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## longshot (May 30, 2012)

hurry up, I'd love to watch someone else fall off for a change!!


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## PurpleMonkeyWrench (Jun 12, 2012)

longshot said:


> hurry up, I'd love to watch someone else fall off for a change!!


Making a thread right now lol


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

GoldSahara said:


> She ended up with the elastic back leg bands wrapped around both her back legs. No idea how long she stood there before I found her. Could have been hours! Again, luckily unhurt.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


This reminds me of one of the poor lesson horses at my barn- there was a new barn assistant, nice enough guy but pretty clueless about horses- he put the blanket on overnight _totally backwards_- i.e., he wrapped the back leg straps around the horse's chest, and then buckled the front around the horse's rear end. The morning person came in and did a double take. And of course then sent out pictures to everyone from the stall (it was pretty funny). Luckily that poor horse didn't do anything crazy during the night, but must have been happy to get that oddly buckled thing off the next morning!


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Last one...

My first job was when I was 7, I exercised/groomed/mucked/handled fair ponies for some neighbors. I'd been working hard for months so they decided to treat me with a trip to the Pea Ridge Nat'l Military Park. AWESOME place to ride.

We went on the 6 hour loop and three hours in I have to pee. Guys I guess I have a small bladder. So off I go into the bushes to do my business, look down and my legs are solid red, WITH SEED TICKS! I haul my britches up and run to the group, tell the woman what was going on and she freaks. Tried to brush me off as best she could, but they were in my pants by then and she wasn't about to touch my "parts". 
So off we go in a hurry to get home, I realize that I didn't pee and have to go SOOOO BAD. Was I about to get off again, tell them I didn't go the first time, risk getting MORE TICKS on me?
HECK NO! So... I went in the saddle.
Oh, the shame to pee your pants AND a saddle at 7! So we get in their big van and are hauling home when they start to smell me. We rode the whole way with _all_ the windows down.

It took HOURS for mom to get the ticks off. My bosses never brought it up but we didn't go on another long trail ride. To this day I NEVER leave the house without duct tape!!!!


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Omg Flygap..  that's such a icky story. Blehhh I hate ticks


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## Maple (Jan 10, 2012)

I thought of a few others this morning while driving into work. 

Years ago when I first started jumping, my friends and I were brave/idiots and decided to jump bareback... when I say jump they were teeny tiny little cross poles... anywho off I went and as I was going over I must have decided that I had done well and started to congratulate myself as the second we landed my horse put the breaks on and off I went out the front door. To this day I remember lieing on my back, the horse's nose touching mine and laughing my backside off. I swear he was looking at me going "what the heck are you doing there you idiot, I carried you over that!"

Another time, I was teaching a learn to ride program. I had one of the lesson horses tied up in the arena and was speaking with the kids on how to walk around the horse. So as I'm saying "now, whenever you walk behind a horse make sure you are as close as possible as it wont hurt as much if you get..." and just as I'm about to say " kicked" the horse lets fly and nails me in the leg. Of course... I had to finish my sentance and continue on like nothing had happened.. and it didn't hurt!


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## possumhollow (Apr 19, 2012)

When I was a kid, maybe 5-6 years old, my grandpa had this old mule he used for **** hunting. Pete would jump anything in his path, point him and he went up hills and down hollers for the men...

Pete was also used as a babysitter for all of us kids. It didn't matter how many of us piled on him or what we did, he'd calmly walk around the front yard all day long. However he wouldn't step one foot out of the front yard with us kids on him, it didn't matter if one of us was pulling, one pushing and two whacking him with sticks, he just wouldn't do it. He'd put up with us for so long and then just sit down like a dog and we'd slide down his back.

I think one of the only times I'd ever seen my grandpa tear up was when Pete passed on one morning. I would dearly love to find a babysitter like that again.... sometimes I need one,LOL.


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## HagonNag (Jul 17, 2010)

Since I never had horses as a child, all my humiliations occurred as an adult. Mr. Big Stuff came to me as a step up from my confidence builder after a horrific wreck. He wasn't truly mean, just opinionated, and I was assured that he wasn't anything I couldn't handle. SO... early days:

We're out for a ride with friends and they get way ahead of us up a long switch back. Steep up on one side, steep down on the other. Big decides it's time to catch up and takes the bit in his mouth....you know the rest. I'm on a runaway up a switchback. There's no room for a one rein stop unless I like falling... So I figure my best bet is to just hang on.
My mouth of course is calling him anything but a Christian horse and any other colorful term I can think of at the top of my lungs. At the top there is my husband and three friends waiting for me. Along with a couple on a beautiful matched pair of paints waiting to go down the switchback.
The guy looks at me and says, "Talk to your horse much?" 

Forward a year or two: We're riding with friends along the lake and stop to let the horses get some water. Big starts walking out and I'm thinking,
"Wow, this is cool!" Then he steps off the dropoff and starts swimming.
Now, Big is only 14.2 hh and when he's swimming with no bottom under him all I can really see is his nose, so I slip off to the side. Whereupon he turns and heads for the bank. No problem. I can swim. Only I didn't figure on my riding boots filling up with water!! So I'm floating on my back with my boots hanging down, backstroking for shore where my friends (including my DH) are laughing hysterically while my boots are trying to drown me!!! Big is, of course, on shore watching me and grazing contentedly. Totally wet butt meets totally wet saddle for an interesting ride home. He never has been afraid of water! I'll say that for him! LOL


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## LuckyRVT (Nov 4, 2011)

Not really a disaster although I was a little sore for a few days....but one day I went to ride my horse when I had a cold. I over judged my strength mounting up and flung myself clear to the other side! And of course it was at a riding trail where there where people!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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