# Hoofbeats Towards Happiness



## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

It has been 3 years exactly to the day since I first found this horse forum and became a "lurker." Over those 3 years I have read about many new comers, victories and achievements, problems and tragedies, and gotten to feel as if I almost know some of the members here. It is for that reason that I am able to write this journal, and I figured that after 3 years of being a silent member of this community, that it is time to tell my tale.

I will start off with a disclaimer. In fact, I may well be down right taboo in saying this, BUT I aim to break the ice. I suffer from mental illness. I am diagnosed with being bipolar and EXTREME social anxiety. I also suffer from a condition called chronic suicidal ideation. All in all I am undergoing a bunch of treatment and therapy, and live my life secluded from the world.

So, now this brings me to the horses. Horses have saved my life, literally, in every sense of the word. About 10 years ago my sister rescued a chestnut OTTB from a kill pen. It is difficult to explain, but the bond I felt for that horse was greater than any I had felt towards any human in very many years. Instead of wondering why I was alive and bothered to keep fighting my mental illnesses, he gave me a reason to keep going. Something to look forward to. The big brown eyes. The nickers. The warm breath. The gentle soul. I'm sure everyone here understands this.

Several years after she rescued him, my sister had to re-home her OTTB, and as much as I wanted to keep him, at the time I was in no condition to take him from her. I have been without a horse since. Then about 7 or 8 years ago, quite by accident, I met the love of my life. In a grocery store, wayyyyy past shopping hours as he was a manager there and it was the only time I could go and not be around a lot of people. It was one of those ooey gooey rom com love at first sight, make every one else vomit kinda love stories. Since the day we met he has been my rock, my shield, and we have never been apart even for a day.

Fast forward now to present day, where DH now is an officer for the prison system, and has moved us out to the country. I now get to wake up every morning to the sound of horses romping and whinnying. The smell of fresh hay. We live in a place that has 2 arenas, one covered and one just outdoors. It has 2 barns on site, also some covered stalls, and several pastures. The ultimate goal is to eventually get our own horse for me /us to enjoy. DH understands that horses are a lot of work and a lot of money and is very willing and supportive. He knows that some days, he will be helping pick up the slack of feeding and stall cleaning, as some days my meds have me very rummy headed but most days would be fine.

Now for the complications. People. I can not be around people. In person, I do not have the ability to talk on the phone or walk up to people and just speak. If there are more than 2 people in my "bubble" I will start breaking down. In order to get a horse I need education. Not just for riding, but basic behavior and care, and more in depth than what I had with my sisters OTTB years ago. They have about 30 horses here. You can rent stalls. I never see people around though, so I go out and sit and watch the horses, or walk thru the stables. I do not ever, never ever, pet or feed any of the horses. They are not mine. 

So very very very slowly, and with lots of patience, videos, books, medications, therapy, guidance, and this horse forum maybe I can get the knowledge I need to do this. To make this dream into a reality. To give my life new meaning and a purpose, and to let myself have this hobby with these amazing animals. This will be my journey.


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

Wishing you all the best. People on this forum will be pulling for you.


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## horselovinguy (Oct 1, 2013)

May I say, "WELCOME" and glad you have chosen us to trust with your story of life.
We will help you as you will help us to understand each others strength and weakness.
This day I feel you have made a huge step forward toward independence from inner fears and demons.
This day you have also opened the door to a life few of us know about....
Together we will champion each other.

We, here on this forum can and will help to teach you about horses...
And you will teach us to be more aware, more understanding of those who fight a disease we not understand, _yet!!_

Now as for those horses....
I swear they understand more than people give them credit....they see inside to our soul that which much of the world only sees skin deep...
I trust animals instincts more than most humans...
Enjoy the peace in your heart and soul a horse can give you...to help you heal.
Now start asking questions on the forum and expect to have many answers from many posters...

If anyone is rude, abrupt, hurtful...you make use of that triangle on the lower left and report their post and comment.
Being rude and hurtful is _*not*_ tolerated here...
Now enjoy your journal and posting throughout the forum...
WELCOME ...
_hlg.
:runninghorse2:*...*
_


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## carshon (Apr 7, 2015)

Welcome to the Forum~! there are so many helpful, knowlegable, caring people here!


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

Huge welcome fellow former lurker! This community is the best and you will be in good hands. 

I'm a newbie here and owner. Y'know what? Most of what I have learned (in a short period my goodness) was from my horse and HERE. I learned so much about behaviour and don't even get me started on hoof care haha. 

Will you be taking any private lessons at all? Maybe first thing or last thing in the day? I spent ages trying to prepare myself for getting a horse. There literally was no good time and it was only when I actually got one I truly learned things. You obviously have a bit more experience than me in ownership even if it was years ago. Hope you don't mind me asking so many questions I just get over excited - absolutely no hard feelings if its too invasive. My horse is, quite literally, my sanctuary. But I need at least one person, in person, that is knowledgeable enough to help me. With handling if needed, saddle fitting, assessing nutritional requirements. I know in time I'll learn enough but initially, are you planning on finding an instructor that can work with you? I really think its better to not overdo it in groups anyway so consider it a perk man. You're really not missing out on much I tell you. I know you said you font need help with riding but I find that purely out of having private instruction you can better get to search for that person without overloading yourself.

Sooooo..... tell me. Are you window shopping currently? Anything in mind? xD

Well wishes for whatever comes! x


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

Thank you all so much for the warm welcome! This has to be the most frightening and exciting thing I've ever done.

Today I just took a stroll around the property. Turns out it's a full 1.3 miles. I did end up breaking a sweat, but it's already 70 degrees here, and I'm always wearing my "security jacket." People like myself with anxiety or sensory processing problems normally again to wearing a layer of additional protection from the outside world / threat. I have you almost 11 years, even in 100+ degree weather HAD to be wearing me security jacket if I'm awake or outside at all. It can be a bad thing in such bad heat, but trust me when I say I'm much worse without it!

I did see a trailer pull up with 2 new chestnut/ sorrel horses inside, and the gentleman put them out to pasture right away. Now I can sip my tea and watch them from my back yard window as the sun sets, which will be relaxing. Tonight though, I think the cowboys will be arriving to start their roping training, which I can kinda see from the front bedroom window. Oh how I wish I could watch from the bleachers!!

To answer a few of your questions @Kalraii I DO want to take riding lessons. I'm just not sure I can just now. I did call a lady about a year ago and even drove to her place and watched her give a lesson. By the time I left I, to say I was "falling to pieces" would be an understatement. She was very loud, very pushy, not very understanding, and surprisingly it was a very recommended place for lessons. 

It's complicated to type out or try to explain even, but I cannot make phone calls, and can really only be 1 on 1 in person with another person, and best case scenario that's with my DH there just in case. Mostly he would have to make all of the calls, ask all of the questions, and because I'm on so many medications that impair, he does all the driving. (Personal driver anyone? I'm good with it!) 

There are so many hurdles that I'll face in finding someone willing to work with my disabilities to give me lessons. Those same hurdles again in horse shopping, and yes, I'm definitely looking! Stupid idea right now, huh? How will I ever even go try a horse if I can't even get out of the car to meet the sellers? Lol. I would bring my horse friends, but I'm so mentally disabled and a recluse, that I really don't have any "in person" friends.YET. It is my life goal to fix this. I will never be normal, and I know this, but surely it cannot be impossible to become a horse enthusiast and find a friend?? I found true love, and by all means, you'd think that would be much more difficult lol.


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)




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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

Hi, welcome to the forum. There is a bunch of great people here who can answer questions and lots of help with all equine stuff and lots of other things as well. There are people here from all over the world and all walks of life. There is always someone here to give great advice or just to talk to for just about anything. 

Glad you came out of lurking status


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

Trying to see if posting this photo will work. 

[url]https://ibb.co/nt4pCc[/url]
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[url]https://ibb.co/e9PNXc[/url]


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

Hmm, perhaps someone could help me out with how best to add photos to my posts? I seem to be having technical difficulties. Thank you in advance.


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

No it's completely understandable! My good friend of 12 years - who dislikes horses funnily enough - has Aspergers. But hes on the "worse end" if you can put it like that without it being considered rude. He finds going shopping or a mcdonalds drive-through terrifying and even when my mother asks him a question sometimes he gapes like a goldfish and just walks out the room. But if you get him one on one he's a normal person y'know. He just can't deal with too much stimulus and prefers using things like typing on skype. When I ride, which I refuse to give up, he sits in the car and waits for me bless him. A real internet gamer who lives through his keyboard. When he does speak he has zero censorship eek! But I know he has no hidden agenda and is also real. I say I understand, it's less that I understand your experience but more that I'm accepting of it. You'll find many accepting people here and I'm so sure that when you get a horse you'll find true, honest and non-judgemental friendship too! The best kind! My instructor will happily shout at me by the way but is very soft with my friend. You might just find she was matching her demeanour for the level of critique that particular rider prefers?

I think you absolutely should window shop. xD And if you're open to it you should share what takes your fancy. I'd definitely be interested. I love window shopping for horses and am learning more about what to look out for in ads. I wouldn't worry about meeting a seller or any of that. You just need a single person in a professional horse position that understands you. If you come to trust them they might even end up being better able to match you a horse. I'm sure they are out there. What about just going somewhere to groom a horse? I know for a fact the places I ride the staff would be VERY accommodating towards your disposition, even going out of their way to make you comfortable, even if it literally means getting out of your way! 

Who knows, maybe someone here one day can hook you up? It's definitely not a stupid idea to window shop though! Your husband sounds amazing. It's 2am so I'm going to go crash but it was lovely meeting you and I look forward to seeing you around 


EDIT: just saw your photos. I am. So. Jealous. I live in central London. It is killing me. So beautiful. I can only imagine the hacking available.


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## RedDunPaint (Aug 23, 2015)

Hello!! I wanted to add my welcome on here as well. I must say, reading your first post gave me goosebumps. How you explained your relationship with the OTTB- the warm breath, the nickers...I could almost smell all the horsey smells with you. Call me a romantic haha.

My heart goes out to you on your daily struggles. I too look forward to hearing your story! There's nothing that can fully replace physical lessons, but there are lots of learning to be done through other means. I personally _love_ researching different training methods, different theories, different stories, etc. There are many horse trainers out there who write blogs about understanding the horse's mind, different training tools/methods, explain fundamentals of riding, and more! One of my personal favorites is The Willing Equine. There are also many videos of riding lessons that people have posted; some are painful to watch but you can even learn from the bad ones! It gives you a visual of what it looks like to do things correctly and incorrectly. That is one of the blessings of the internet- there are so many connections that can be made, like right here on this forum! 

I'm glad you created an account to join us on here!!


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

@RedDunPaint Thank you, I will definitely look into those blogs! 

@Kalraii I honestly have no idea what kind of trails are around here! Mostly I just walk the dirt road around the property. I do know that we are only about 10 miles or so from the state park national trail system though. 

So I woke up this morning to what seemed like a dream. The pastures were all misty, so much so that even 20 feet from my porch I could barely make out the horses shapes! But oh could I hear them! Prancing and cantering and neighing for their breakfast. I felt like I should have been transport back to the land of Tir Na Nog, lol. It has since changed into just some grey drizzly gloom. Yuck!

I seem to be having a difficult time today hallucinating. It's a normal thing for me as a side effect from a medication I'm on. The problem is, it makes me see bugs. Everywhere. I didn't know I was hallucinating at first, so I smacked a bug off of my dog! He turned and gave me this look like "what the hell Mom?!" I guess I'll let him take care of his own bugs from now on. 

I know I need to work my way into finding a trainer. Eventually. Lessons. Ok yeah eventually. For the time being though I cannot seem to stop myself from window shopping!! I know how to feed a horse, brush a horse, wrap legs, blanket etc, basic care I understand. I'm not even sure I'm all that keen to BE a rider if it takes soooooo much people interaction to be honest. I just would love to be able to have the ability to be around another horse. Ownership is a ways off, but I think I keep trying to convince myself to make it happen sooner.

So lets see, what is it I'm looking for. I'm rather short, about 5'4” so I would like to find something around 15 hands. I'm on the fence with gelding or mare, so kinda keeping that option open. I want a horse with really good feet, like dinner plate and solid iron haha! Other than that, solid solid temperament. A horse that likes people or would get used to having a person be around. An in your pocket type, but without being disrespectful. As far as breed, I'm not very picky! I'd choose temperament over breed any day. 

I'm not really sure if there is anything else I should be looking into??


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

What we are doing today, and why we are not outside! &#55357;&#56833;

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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

@findinghappy I think you might have more luck uploading pictures from your album. If you click advanced under the text box and click the paperclip icon (to attach) and follow those instructions. Hope it works as I'm just getting my head around it as well.

Feel free to link any horses you come across that tickle you xD I'm sure your house puffs dont mind. It's great that you're short - I'd love to go back and ride ponies but alas. Have a good afternoon/evening!


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

Thank you for that suggestion, that does not seem to be working either. How does everyone else upload photos???


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

I saved your file to my computer desktop. Then came back to the advanced textbox, clicked paperclip > manage attachments > under "choose file from your computer" select it > click upload on the right. It seems to work that way for me right now at least. I think links are a bit more awkward?

edit: woops, misclick on one of the pictures!


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

It could be that that is the issue then, I'm only using my phone, as I do not have the internet at my house for using a computer. I may have to remedy that in the future then, even just to post photos haha! Thank you again for the help, you're wonderful!


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

This morning there are quite a few thuds going on in front of my house! Instead of waking up to horses wanting their breakfast, it is some kind of hole digger. On the other side of the covered arena it looks like they are adding some rather large wooded posts. More pastures?? Although all of the other pastures on the property are made of a pipe fencing, so this is making me feel rather curious!! I'm sneaking peeks out my front window as I'm sipping my morning tea. 

I was doing some googling last night and came across a place not too far from here that offers lessons for a fair price in both English and Western. After talking with DH after he got home late from work we were wondering what kind of questions we should be asking a place like this? Given my situation is difficult, would it be out of the question to ask if they would come to us to give lessons, as there are arenas here? Anything I should be aware of?? It says on their website they have a competition team. Lol, yeah probably never for me in this lifetime, but that's a good thing in a school, right?? It is called Jakk Farms in Huntsville, Texas if anyone has heard of them. 

I hope everyone is having a fantastic day!! Nice and sunny today, would be a fantastic day to go ride!


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## Change (Jul 19, 2014)

Hi, *findinghappy*, and welcome. I love your nickname, btw, especially given your history. 

I know firsthand - well, second hand, I guess - about dealing with anxiety and depression. My son has been disabled with kidney disease for most of his short 32 year life. For the last 11 years, he's been on dialysis after having and losing two kidney transplants. Gifts given and lost. As hard as it is for me to watch, I know it is harder for him to live. And yet, every other day he gets up at 3 a.m. and gets ready, then drives to dialysis which terrifies him (he's afraid he's going to die while on the machine). He has very few friends and is pretty much a recluse - not because he's bad with people, but because he doesn't have the energy to be social. 

My granddaughter also lives with me. She battles depression on a daily basis. In fact, we're finally having her tested for bi-polar disorder. Her anxiety isn't about being around people - she loves crowds and activity - but she's painfully shy. A watcher. She gets anxious about things that haven't happened, that most likely won't happen. She works herself up into believing she's afraid of things - even things she wasn't afraid of yesterday. And to her, these are real fears. She also suffers from night-terrors. 

We have 3 dogs and 2 horses. And we live in the Wrong Huntsville, or I'd be volunteering to be your horse-friend. I've had horses most of my life and while I've never had "formal lessons," I suspect I have enough horse-sense to compensate. I've also seen how horses can open the world for someone like you. I hope you find someone who knows how to show and step back, often without words to let you try. Or to explain the why of something without eye contact or expecting an acknowledgement. I know how difficult those small things can be.

Now - what you should be looking for - stick to geldings, they're much more apt to be pocket horses. Yes, there are mares out there that are pocket pets, too, but by far the larger percentage are geldings. They're also less likely to have mood swings. At your height and ability, I think I'd be looking a little shorter than 15h. Set your low bar at 14h with your high at 15h - there are some nice horses out there in that range. 

Have your husband introduce himself to your barn neighbors on your behalf. Have him ask about stalls, pasturage and boarding at the barn near you. Ask if the arena is off-limits/closed at certain hours and if they might make an exception. Who knows, there might even be a trainer or boarder there who would be willing to help you, or an absentee (busy) owner who would love for someone to give their horse a little attention. Go as slow as you need, and as fast as you are comfortable with. 

Oh and ... while I might not be fighting the battles you fight, I too find peace in the breath of a horse.


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

I smiled for the first time today reading your post. Thank you @Change I do wish your family well with their battles as well. 

Most people know someone who is effected with a mental illness, or are even related to them! However, even if they do know about it, it seems so taboo to even discuss it. I'm trying to become more open with it. I'm not a bad person because I'm sick!! Your granddaughter and son are not either! Beautiful people come in all walks of life, with all sorts of challenges. The sooner the rest of the world learns this, the better the world will become, imo.

"The most beautiful people we have known, are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths of despair. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern towards others. In other words, the most beautiful people don't just happen." 

This was a quote hanging on the wall of one of the inpatient treatment facilities I have needed to stay. (No shame in saving your life!) I have always found it soothing in a way.


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## JoBlueQuarter (Jan 20, 2017)

I'm a little late coming here, but I just really want to say that I *love and admire* the open way you're putting everything out there! I love your approach and view on life and mental illness. I have gone through some hard bouts of depression and anxiety, but nothing compared to you, and I respect you greatly. And I agree that this shouldn't be such a taboo subject; if people have a problem discussing it... well, that's their problem and it shouldn't affect others. It's always good to talk about things like this; don't be influenced by what they think.


Now I'm gonna go and read through your whole journal! Keep going in the direction you are and it's guaranteed that you will *Find Happiness*! ;-)


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

I went with DH over to the arena tonight after visiting with his mother this afternoon. We had seen a bunch of extra horse trailers when we drove up, so DH grabbed me and we "snuck" over. In actuality he walked, I tip toed. I then cowered in the bleachers pretending to not exist and hide behind DH while watching the most thrilling roping!!! There were only about 7 people there tonight, which is small compared to the 20+that I see from my window some nights. One gentleman even said hello as he rode past!!

It was such an exciting night I just HAD to share it with everyone! I wish I could have said hello back to that man. Thankfully DH said something to him so he didn't think we were being rude. DH snuck me back to the safety of my bubble "home" before it was over. He said he couldn't tell if I was going to die from happiness or a heart attack lol.

I hope everyone is have such a wonderful evening!


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

Testing for posting pictures from my phone. . . Again.


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## JoBlueQuarter (Jan 20, 2017)

So glad you had a good time, @findinghappy! Your DH sounds awesome! And that horse is beautiful! Is he yours?


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

DH is an angel I'm sure haha! He works for the prison keeping inmates in line by day, and keeps me together mentally as much as I can be. I'm beyond lucky to have him in my life!!

The horse is not mine, just one of the many here where we live. There are about 30 right behind my house where there are several barns and acres of pastures, 2 arenas. Basically horse owner heaven. This particular horse seems very sociaI!! However, I never pet or feed them, they are not mine. 

I am sort of putting feelers out for purchasing my own though, but I expect that will take another couple of years for the stars to all align. People and all.


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

Aw yiss, out come the horse pictures! One down, 29 to go!  Don't think about the people, there are ways around that! One life to give and live <3 Sounds like a great experience you had, the start of many I hope!


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## Change (Jul 19, 2014)

HOORAY for YOU for getting out there to watch the roping! That is so Amazing and Wonderful and Brave. You had me smiling ear to ear as I read how much fun you had! YOU GO, GIRL!! 

And that's a beautiful horse. Can't wait to see more pictures of the heaven you have just out your back door. 


Oh, and give the DH a huge hug from me. Just cuz.


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

Today was exhausting. It's late and I feel like maybe I should have stayed in bed all day, which is fine because I'm heading to bed for the evening in a few more minutes. Spent the day with DH on his only day off for the next 9 days and we were cleaning house and running around town like crazy! Let me tell you, a person like me, running errands on a busy Saturday. . . Does not mix very well at all. 

We had to change oil on the car, had up for the week, grocery shop (waited in the car) pay rent, stop by the bank (waited in the car again) and other various things. By about half way thru the day I had maxed on all my meds, and was on the way to full blown melt down. I started feeling dizzy, forgetful, mad for no reason, hopeless, and so so tired!!! I couldn't wait to get back to my house and the safety of what I call my "bubble." 

After DH got me all settled in and safe in my bubble, he went back out really quick to rent us a movie, Geostorm and bought me a new adult coloring book because my other one is almost complete. Then he also ordered me some gel pens as I'm running low. So sweet of him! The movie we watched after supper and it was really good if anyone hasn't seen it yet. I didn't get my usual walk in today, and didn't see any horses even though it was a beautiful day. Perhaps tomorrow will be better overall. 

I hope everyone else had a great day, and a pleasant evening! See you all tomorrow and goodnight.


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

Last night I thought the cowboys we're out roping again, so I snuck out to the big arena again to watch. Much to my surprise, when I got into the bleachers, I could quickly tell it was definitely not roping I had come to see! There were about 10 horses and about 16 people standing around the edges of the arena taking turns with talking to one man. A training clinic?! Nope. Turns out, it was a chiropractor! I got to watch as every horse in the barn it seems came in and got adjusted. I honestly never knew a horse could bend in some of those ways!!

It was fun and very interesting to watch, and to hear everyone tell their horses story to the chiropractor. One horse had been torn up by a barbed wire fence and one had a draining hoof abscess, another had a vet coming out tomorrow for a growing mass on its side. The chiropractor seemed very nice and gentle, and I heard he does humans during the day, horses at night, haha!!

After things we're wrapping up, there were just two people left and the chiropractor, so I put on my big girl panties, and walked out of the bleachers and down to the arena. Very very slowly I walked over. Stopping about 10 get away, I actually said hello. I introduced myself and told them who I was, and that I lived there, and that I was severely scared of human interaction, but that I thought we were neighbors and I had seen the gentleman roping the other night. (Sorry for the long sentence.) They are actually the couple who live above me it turns out! We spoke briefly for maybe 5 minutes, and then I said goodnight and scurried back to my safety bubble. It was terrifying, and thrilling, but they were very kind and patient. Also, I had asked if anyone had minded if I have been watching the roping and it's good to know that they do not mind me hiding out and spectating. 

So today it is gorgeous outside!! We had huge thunderstorms last night, and today it seems glistening almost. The horses are enjoying the new spring grass and frolicking around kicking up their heels. Time to head out for a walk to enjoy the sunshine and hoofbeats! I'm beginning to think to myself that maybe, just maybe this could all work out after all!!


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## JoBlueQuarter (Jan 20, 2017)

Good work, @findinghappy!! It's always awesome and educational to watch a chiropractor at work! And great job being so brave! Those people sound really awesome! I like how you came right out and told 'em that you were scared around people; it helps break the ice and then you can feel more at ease as it's all out there already!

Your backyard sounds awesome! I always love watching horses after storms!


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

*My Backyard*

Can't complain with this view today!!


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

I AM SO JEALOUS hahaha oh my. Keep posting these pictures you lucky woman xD And fantastic you got to get over the formal introductions. Now you can PROPERLY stalk the ropers  Glad to read and it's great to see you pushing yourself x


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

I went back to just kinda lurking on the forum for a few days. I'm not into drama, and a few threads seemed heading that direction. I'm not sure if it's better now, but I'll just mind my way around them. The days here have been taking a cold sweep. Not as much as further north, but still dropping down into the 50's. I think winter is trying to give one last hoorah before spring officially sets in. Saturday it's supposed to be in the 80's. 

Lots of the college ladies that have their horses here seem to suddenly gotten the urge to start their barrel racing training. Mostly they train in the upper arena that I can't quite see from my back window, darn! I'm not crazy for speed, but it seems like it'd be as fun to watch as the roping. Also I was looking at saddles ( not to buy yet, just looking) and then from that saw the Aussie saddles, and then onto campdrafting somehow?! Anyways, I wonder how come that never really picked up in the US for a rodeo sport? I bet the QH would be as good or better at it than the Australian Stock horses?? It was fun to YouTube at least. 

I'm a bit confused on fitting saddles. The differences between semi quarter horse bars, quarter horse bars, and full quarter horse bars seems all different, unless you go completely by just inches. Unless I pay a saddle fitter, I wonder how I'll ever find a correctly fitting saddle. Horse first, I know. &#55357;&#56833;


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## Change (Jul 19, 2014)

Oh, *Happy*! That's so amazing that you actually introduced yourself to your neighbors, especially after an 'almost meltdown' day. And I'll bet it was interesting to watch the chiro work on so many horses. In all my years of horse-ownership, I've never actually used or met a horse-chiro! I'm sort of jealous. ;-) Your view is amazing - all that grass already! 

I think saddle makers use terms like semi- and full bars just to make buying saddles more confusing. LOL! Generally, semi-bars are for more narrow withered horses, full bars are for those wide bodies. Of course, there are a lot of other things to take into consideration, as well, and horses do come in more than two widths, but that's the basics.

I think you'd enjoy watching barrel training. Yes, it's a speed event, but if you ever watch them training, you'll see that there's a lot of skill and precision involved. And a lot of the training is done at a walk or trot.


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

I've made my horses disappear!! I woke up and everyone was just. . . Gone!! No whinnying, no munching hay, no galloping around kicking up heals. . . Just a bunch of empty stalls and pastures. That being said, it's Friday, so I'm guessing there's some big show somewhere this weekend! I'm wondering how everyone is "in the know" for these things. Phone calls? Facebook groups? I never see any notices up, just suddenly they are roping, or suddenly everyone is gone!

I sipped my morning tea reading horse forum instead of watching horses. Not a huge trade off. . . Ok, who am I kidding? Hahahaha!! I've been spending time reading some books on horses, horse care, and basics on training. I do not want to be one of those people who gets a horse and it's disrespecting them within a month. I'm working up to hands on stuff, but for now I'm just brushing up on the basics from the books. It's been a long time since we had my sisters OTTB in the backyard! Does anyone have any go to books they recommend??

I hope everyone is enjoying their lovely Friday. That heat wave is rolling in here and it's going to be a nice warm weekend. Would be a nice one too go riding on!


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

*Trails*

In case you needed to glimpse a trail to inspire you to go ride tomorrow, or this week, or sometime in the future. . . 

Walked down this state trail with DH today, and thought it was too beautiful not to share. We did see 3 riders out enjoying the day as well, so it seems we had the right idea!!


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

*Who let the cows out?!*

It's already getting hot out there! Whew! Mid 80's today, and this Northern girl suck in Texas is sure feeling the heat today! It makes me extra thankful for inventions for things like ac. Come June this summer, I'll be in New York for a few weeks, so I'm hoping to miss some of the 100 degree stuff that we get here in Texas. I've never been to New York, so who knows, maybe it gets that hot up there as well??

I put on my sneakers to go out and walk today, I've been working on building up my endurance and strength so I'll be more fit for horseback lessons after my New York trip. So far I'm up to 3 miles of walking, and I make sure to include lots of hills. Does anyone have any helpful exercises that would help get someone in shape for horse related activities?? I thought maybe a stability ball would be useful to work on my core muscles. I'm not even sure I have any at the moment haha!!

Anyways, I went to go walk today, and someone had closed off the road around the pastures that I normally go walk on. All the cows we're out walking instead!! They sure are noisy, but cute. I think the owner is trying to get them to eat up some of the weeds that the horses won't eat (buttercup?) I let the cows have the road today. I didn't feel like being chased by them, so I went walking on the mile long flat driveway we have. Tomorrow though, we may have to rock paper scissors for who gets the pasture road. . . 

A friend of a friend of someone DH works with has a horse for sale, and DH thinks maybe we should go just to look. I told him no. Too many red flags. It's a young horse, ex barrel racer, and "not for beginners" which all say to me that he is very green and not trained well, if at all, and just might have an injury from the barrels. It never hurts to look, until it does.


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## JoBlueQuarter (Jan 20, 2017)

Those pics are so awesome! You live in a beautiful place!!


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

*Severe Storm!!*

Last night about 6 o'clock it was fairly blue sunny skies here, and then about 10 minutes later we had a freak storm pop up literally out of nowhere! It went from calm and warm to bolts of lightning and tornado winds of 70mph in under 15 minutes. There was no warning. No severe weather alert on my phone, no meteorologist broadcast, nothing. 

I had laid down for a nap after walking about 3 miles, and my dog has woken me up a few minutes before all of this happened. I looked out side a window and just saw a wall of black! Then the hail started. Now I'm not from Texas, but I've heard if there is hail there will be a tornado, so I snatched my dogs up, grabbed my phone and shoved us all in my walk in closet as fast as I could get there. I'm not going to lie, I was terrified oh my God. It all lasted about 20 minutes. Lightning was stroking the ground in bolts, but not just one. It was like pulsing bolts, almost 3 or 4 pulses per bolt. Boom boom boom. 

Golf ball sized hail, massive sudden flooding, the winds, an entire town without power all night and so far all of today. . . We can't even count all of the downed trees. I'm not sure about casualties, human or livestock. Some of the pastures here are ruined, as are a few trailers. I just really hope everyone is ok. This just goes to show, you think you are safe or that you can plan and prepare, you can't. Sometimes you get 5 or 10 minutes before hell rains down on you and you just hope you last the night.


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

*Aftermath*

I took a quick walk around the pastures with DH this afternoon. He had a day off of work and we won't have power back until Wednesday, so it was nice to get out of the house for a few minutes. Here are a few pics of the storm damage.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

Wow! That must have been some storm.

I have just come across this journal, and I wanted to lend my support. I have PTSD ever since a major accident 4 yrs ago, which does not mean that I understand everything you are going through, but I do empathize. And I commend you on your honesty.

May I make a suggestion? When you do decide to go for lessons, have you thought of working with a hippotherapist? I suggest this because, as you have commented, regular trainers are used to standing at a distance and shouting, and most have no experience with people in your situation. Hippotherapists, however, have been trained to deal with riders with physical/psychological afflictions, and would be most willing and have the most resources to make you feel comfortable. The classes are geared more towards sensory exploration and interaction with the horses, which sounds like something that you would benefit from. Plus, classes are usually one-on-one, with the trainer walking right next to your horse, not yelling at you from 40 ft away.

Of course, after you work through some initial nerves, blocks and barriers, you can always switch to a regular trainer. But I think that an initial low-stress, trigger-free environment would be most beneficial. If I make this recommendation, it is because I started re-riding in a one-on-one situation with a therapy horse. I needed many months of slow, methodical work, both in and out of the saddle, to be able to ride in a "normal" riding situation with other people and horses, but I'm sure you will make faster progress than I did.

Also, you should be proud to have approached your neighbor the other day. Next time you see him, would you feel comfortable asking if you could visit his horses and perhaps feed them a carrot? I find that most horse owners don't mind at all if you give their horses a scratch or feed them a treat, as long as they know who you are and you ask permission.


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

I have been in therapy for awhile now. I have some issues that make life very difficult, if you've read my journal this far it explains some of those. I haven't always been this way, slowly over the years it's gotten worse until now I am at this point. This will I had a very long therapy session. I'm not sure yet if it was productive or not, but it's definitely made me think. I keep waiting to "get better" instead of just living my life in the moment. Everything gets put on hold until I think I'm ok enough to cope with it handle that particular thing. Doesn't that mean I'm not really living though? 

Take horses for example. Like everyone here, I love them. I LOVE them. Their smell, their sounds, their hair, the work it takes to care for one, everything about them that makes us all "horse crazy." I have waited more than 4 years now to get back into lessons or finding a trainer or even shopping to buy a horse of my own even though I have the money, acres, barn, resources etc available. . . I'm waiting because I'm afraid of people. I've put it all on hold for years and years, just waiting for me to "get better" before I can allow myself to enjoy horses of my own. 

I'm never going to get better this way. I keep expecting it to change, but it never does. So now it's time to try something different. It's time to jump in the deep end, and force something to change. I'll never be normal, and I'm ok with that. I just don't want to watch my life pass me by any more while I'm waiting for something that isn't just magically appearing in front of me. So guess what? I'm buying a horse. I'm throwing myself in the deep end. It's time to be happy, and it's time to go out and life my life. No more watching horses in the pasture without one of them being mine. Time to start making calls (which I never do) and asking questions (which I never do) and going to see some horses, to find the one I click with and bring him / her home with me.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

findinghappy said:


> So guess what? I'm buying a horse. I'm throwing myself in the deep end. It's time to be happy, and it's time to go out and life my life. No more watching horses in the pasture without one of them being mine. Time to start making calls (which I never do) and asking questions (which I never do) and going to see some horses, to find the one I click with and bring him / her home with me.


I love that you love horses, and that they help you find happy, many of us stay somewhere near sane because of our involvement in horses.

I really wish that you could find a way to do this in a different order, find the inner strength to reach out and make some contacts in the local horse world, get out a join in and ride before you go horse shopping. I'm sorry I'm 61, and a worry wort, and I want you and your horse to be happy and compatible. 

The horse I NEEDED I didn't click with, I was very 'meh' about him, without my trainer I would never of found him, never have bought him, and my life would have been so different because of that. He was boring, dull, and safe....only I found out that under dull and boring there was a hidden sense of humor and personality, he just had never been allowed to be him.

The horses I bought on my own, because I felt some 'magikal bond' with them....yeah, I overlooked their issues and problems, or plain unsuitability, because "I loved them"

OK, look I am not being a downer, not trying to rain on your parade, just don't want you hurt, physically or spiritually, by ending up with the wrong partner for the wrong reason. This is something I feel very very strongly about, I said on your other thread, the last impulse buy I made nearly killed me, and I never want anyone else to suffer that.


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

findinghappy said:


> I just don't want to watch my life pass me by any more while I'm waiting for something that isn't just magically appearing in front of me. So guess what? I'm buying a horse. I'm throwing myself in the deep end. It's time to be happy, and it's time to go out and life my life. No more watching horses in the pasture without one of them being mine. Time to start making calls (which I never do) and asking questions (which I never do) and going to see some horses, to find the one I click with and bring him / her home with me.


That's the spirit! Good for you.....I say.....GO FOR IT!


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

I understand @Golden Horse I do see what you mean. I'm not really looking for some magical bond, and definitely not looking to be reckless. Just looking to put it all into motion here. Some people take lessons for years. I've waited years to take lessons. But it's all MY fault. After my sister had to get rid of her OTTB's it's been years since I've had to feed, water, walk, ride, groom or be around a horse that I was allowed to touch. All I'm saying is it's time. No more waiting for me to get better, I may never "be ok" around people. So I'll just take some steps and start actually living my life now. 

I'm not looking for a rodeo prospect, an Olympic athlete, or anything dangerous. Slow and steady, heck even old and safe would be ok! I'm just going to start looking. For real. It may take a year to find something, but I'm going to make some calls and it will scare the hell out of me, but I will have to do it to make this happen!! Lessons start in July, so maybe after that I'll even have a nice trainer to help me look. If I don't start actually doing this, I'll never get to.


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

Wow did it turn out to actually be a tornado yeah? I find that just crazy. In England we really have the boring life. You can't really die in the countryside to butterflies nor do we have crazy storms like you guys... I feel so sorry for the animals (more than people, sorry :<). Just imagine being sucked into that tornado and never found again. :< :< :<

As for getting a horse as you know I felt the same - no time was ever right. As long as you have people nearby to help you in quick notice I think it's fine. And it's reassuring to know that you're on here reaching for help if needed. If you were miles away from no horsey professionals I'd be more reserved. And yeah, the fear of ending up with a "bad egg" (one that's hard to work with) is real. Would you keep your horse on your property if you don't mind me asking or at the nearby facility?  Post any that take your fancy on here too, if you want! 

Hope storm recovery goes well.


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

@Kalraii We lease a home that is on a few acres of pasture, 2 arenas and 3 barns. There are a few other homes here as well, but it's nice and quiet. So I'd keep my horse here once I got it. If we ever move from here it will be because we buy a house and land, and then of course horse will move with us. 

Storm recovery is going well, I'm surprised non of it made bigger news?? We had no power for days, but thankfully it's all back to working now. The roofing companies are having a lot of great business haha. 

I'll definitely share any of the possible horses that I may call about our want to go look at. I think right now, other than actually talking to the people, my greatest fear is sellers being dishonest on why they are selling. I've read a lot of stories on this forum of buying gone wrong. I'd honestly be happy with some gentle old nag, I have zero ambition to think I'm this amazing rider / trainer, but I'm sure if I take it slow and get feedback from people here that maybe I'll avoid any huge potential pitfalls?? I hope.


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

*Horse Show*

There was a big Western horse show in my back yard this weekend. It was fantastic as there were so many horses around!!! On the flip side there were also tons of people, little kids, off leash dogs, trucks and trailers. I did manage to sneak out of the house briefly to watch a bit of the roping and steer wrestling in a conspicuous place, and even managed to take a few pics. It was a lot of fun to watch, even if I did have to amp up my meds all weekend.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

Sounds like fun! And a see a pretty palomino - my all-time fave! Do those signs say something about boobies?


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

@Spanish Rider Yes, that sign says "Barrels, Bulldogging and Roping for Boobies," it's a breast cancer awareness show they did where I live. Cash prizes, points and everything. 

I called about another horse DH heard about. He gets to talk to more people, so naturally has more connections than I do. This one seemed rather nice just from what we'd heard thru the grapevine, so I figured let me suck it up and at least give them a call. Easy right? Hahaha, no not at all. It took me about 3 hours of pacing, taking anxiety meds, practicing what to say over and over, dialing the phone about 50 times but cutting it off before it could ring. . . Oh I was a mess, no lie. It paid off though, kind of. I thought.

The lady was rather nice, seemed friendly. I told her right off the beginning that I was terrified of people and I apologized if the conversation was awkward, she just sort of flowed with it. The paint gelding seemed nice on the phone too. An older gelding, about 14.3h, recent farrier and shots, last year for teeth. She said he was an ex lesson horse but they just had him around for the grandkids for the last few years. About 20 minutes of conversation later, we decided to have me come out and look at him this weekend. 

So, the weekend was here, DH and I get in the car and drive for an hour. We find the address, and pull up. . . To a driveway FULL of people. Somehow in our busy schedules we both had forgotten today is Easter. I'm petrified, shaking, glued to my seat, can't move let alone think. I think I remember DH saying "I think I see the horse over there giving rides to kids." He got out of the car for a few minutes while I'm scrambling for my bottles of meds. Suddenly my nice weekend of "let's go see a horse for sale" has turned into a movie type nightmare. 

I'm not really sure what all happened, just that we made it home, and I napped for a few hours. Now a little bit later, after talking to DH he explained that he had talked to the lady and she had changed her mind on selling the horse after the grandkids were there and begging her to keep him. I'm wondering why she didn't just call and say for us not to come out then?? Is she maybe going to change her mind again next week after Easter is over and she is still caring for this horse they decided they didn't want? Not my problem I guess. 

So horse phone call inquiry and visit #1 was just bad. I didn't even actually see the horse! Both could have gone better. I'm not sure how to feel about this to be honest, not yet anyways. I do hope that everyone is having a lovely holiday though, so have fun and stay safe everyone!! Happy Easter.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

@findinghappy , so sorry you had to go through that "episode".

I don't know about Texas, but here, in early spring when the weather starts getting nice, everyone starts thinking "nice weather for a ride". Perhaps that is the case with the seller and grandchildren. Then, interest in riding slacks off in the hot mid-summer, to pick up once again late August/early September for the nice fall weather. When the rain starts and temps drop in late fall, people lose interest in riding and suddenly more horses are up for sale. Maintaining a horse you are not riding on a regular basis can get expensive. Human nature is funny that way.

Don't lose faith. Somewhere, someplace, there is a horse for you! But it may take time.


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## Caledonian (Nov 27, 2016)

It may have taken meds, practice and felt like a nightmare but I’d see it as a big step forward. The first step of many, perhaps? 

It was unfortunate that the horse was taken off the market, especially when you’d travelled so far. 

I’m hunting for one as well. Similar to you I’m looking for something quiet for hacking out rather than competitions. 

Over here, we get a lot of horses for sale at the start of winter and now that the good weather’s coming in, the numbers fall. 

We also get ‘no time wasters’ added to many adverts. If you phone to enquire, then you are expected to buy and that’s put me off going to see some horses that looked like a good fit. A photo of a horse does not tell me what it’s like in real life. 

I’d seen a wonderful dun mare but, after a great talk with her owner, she said that she’d had enough of timewasters and she’d be happy to have me visit. Well, it had the opposite effect on me and I said that I couldn’t guarantee that I’d buy and wouldn’t be coming.


Everything will come together at the right time.


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

So sorry you had to go through that nightmare. I imagine the lady got wrapped up in the family visit and forgot all about the horse sale. So not fair to you. I hope the next one is much less traumatic.

I also once drove 2 hours to see a horse, helping someone out who was interested in it. Got lost, couldn't find the place, called for better directions, and was told, "Oh, sorry, changed my mind, not selling the horse after all."

Hope things go better for you with the next one. Here's a suggestion: have someone you trust who loves horses go check out the horse before you even make the first phone call. If they say it looks good, then you go look. I've gone with a lot of people horse shopping, and there are a LOT of wasted trips--people misrepresenting horses, horses not even there, sellers not showing up, horse already got sold, and all kinds of miscommunications. No need to put yourself through that misery since it is so difficult for you. For me it is, shrug, oh well. For you, very different.


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

I agree! This buying a horse stuff is not for the faint of heart!!


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## EquineBovine (Sep 6, 2012)

Hi there! Just stumbled on this thread. 
I suffer from depression and major anxiety with a touch of autism thrown in there for fun. Your battle with your mental health sounds awful but in reading through your posts all I can see is improvement! I totally understand how hard it is to talk to a stranger on the phone, let alone face to face. The very fact that you are taking these steps in order to reach your ultimate goal - horses - is awe inspiring.
In my own experience I have really just had to bite the bullet and get on with it. I WANT to ride. I WANT to compete. I WANT to own horses. So my social anxiety just has to take a back seat until I get home and then I can have a melt down. Social interaction is HARD and people can be so stupid and LOUD. The noise is horrible. Someone simply speaking to me sets my teeth on edge and makes me want to run to the hills.

What I'm trying to say it, it's hard. It's so so hard. But it is so so worth it. Horses make everything worth it. They can also make everything harder than it needs to be but the rewards are great. 
Buying a horse is also a battle so good luck and well done on taking your first step! Sounds like you have an amazing husband who loves you so much. You are very lucky for that. Everything else will fall in place.
I can't wait to see how you get on


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

@findinghappy , just wondering how things are going for you...


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

So, it's been almost a year, but I'm back on the forums again, and a lot has happened!! 

Late last summer I decided it was time to make a huge change for myself and I got a new mental health doctor. With this new doctor, came a new medication regime. Oh boy, was I all over the place as I waited for the new meds to get me stabilized!! I'm happy to say now though, that I'm doing much better with my disabilities. People are still scary in person - just not so much.

Also, DH almost got a transfer so we got all packed up and ready to move, which made me very sad, until it was cancelled at the last second. I'm so happy we will be staying here. Even if we moved I'd still be getting a horse, but there is just something so peaceful and serene about this community we live in.

As for having my own horse, I am still looking for "the one." There are many for sale in Texas, but I haven't found the one that just clicks or meets all of the check marks yet. Yet. I will find him/her! In the mean time, I'm looking into maybe working at a local barn this summer, which would be HUGE for me!! Lots of horses (yay!) and scary people haha!

I hope everyone is doing well, and enjoying their Spring! I have a lot of reading and forum catching up to do. . .


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## Kriva (Dec 11, 2015)

Hello fellow Texan  It's good to see you back and that you haven't given up your search. I'm constantly window shopping too. I haven't owned my own horse for many years, but instead have leased horses for the last 4 years or so. But currently without a ride. 

Have you thought about Equine Assisted Therapy? One of the barns I rode at a few years ago is now a therapy only barn and doesn't give lessons anymore. But, they started the therapy when I was still riding there so I saw it happening quite often. There are usually two people there with you, the therapist and a horse helper. But, since it's therapy related, you aren't in large groups. The way it worked at that barn was that they had an arena and three round pens. There could be 4 therapy sessions going on at once (although rarely more than two) but everyone kept to themselves and did their own thing. If you could find something like that in your area it might help to be able to be at a barn with some people around, but not necessarily interacting with each other. Usually it's all very peaceful. This barn has quite a few horses and each individual comes in and gets to walk around the horses and see which one they connect to. That's the horse they get to work with. This is usually for every type of therapy, PTSD, physical therapy, troubled teens, women's empowerment sessions, etc... they even offer couples therapy and work related teamwork building sessions. I'm not sure if insurance companies have realized yet what a good thing equine therapy is, but you could always research to see if your insurance would cover some of it.

And when that was a lesson barn and I was riding there I was - on more than one occasion - told that the horse I was riding could be for sale if I was interested  Maybe the perfect horse is out there helping others until you come along. 

Anyway, just a thought. Good luck with your search! And remember that although the perfect horse hasn't come along yet, it will, and each time you call on one or go see one, it's a step in the right direction.


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

Hi @Kriva! 

That horse assisted therapy sounds wonderful!! I am a firm believer that horses can and do help people with disabilities, especially mental ones, in so many ways!! I'm not sure if they would have anything like that in my area, but I'm going to go and check up on it. The problem is any more than 3 people and I lose my mind with anxiety, but even so, maybe they could accommodate.

As it is, I'm making progress here at home with saying hi to my neighbors every so often, when I'm out walking and I see them feeding their horse. I do still need to meet the local vet and farrier that come out, but though I've seen them, I haven't had the courage to introduce myself yet. 

Anyways, I'll look into that therapy, thank you again for the idea!!


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## Kriva (Dec 11, 2015)

findinghappy said:


> Hi @*Kriva* !
> 
> That horse assisted therapy sounds wonderful!! I am a firm believer that horses can and do help people with disabilities, especially mental ones, in so many ways!! I'm not sure if they would have anything like that in my area, but I'm going to go and check up on it. The problem is any more than 3 people and I lose my mind with anxiety, but even so, maybe they could accommodate.
> 
> ...



You're welcome. I think most people on this forum completely understand that horses are the best therapy!! Horse people have known that secret long before doctors and therapists figured it out! 

Saying hello to your neighbors is great! Sometimes that's a good way to start because if they are busy just a wave will suffice. Then you can be friendly without the intentional interaction until you're ready. It's odd for me, I'm shy/anxious about meeting new people. I'll talk to the person standing by me in line in the grocery store, but I won't go introduce myself to anyone. Kind of like a "drive-by" pleasantry is fine, but the one's that might be long lasting are difficult. I'm sure there's some psychology behind why I'm like that, but I haven't figured it out yet.


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## findinghappy (Feb 24, 2018)

I think I need to start with more or those "drive by" pleasantries haha!! I'm sure more people do those than you think, and looking at one of the threads right now, called "Friendless" there are a LOT of people claiming to have social anxiety. It really is a type of mental illness that plagues sooooo many people. I wonder if there is any correlation between people who become equine enthusiasts and those who have social anxiety? Or if its just some people have social anxiety and they happen to get into horses and horse sports. For me personally, horses have a bigger draw, almost because I can relate more with their behaviors and emotions due to my own illnesses. I wonder if others knowingly or unknowingly feel the same. Either way, horses are like magnets.


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## Kriva (Dec 11, 2015)

findinghappy said:


> I think I need to start with more or those "drive by" pleasantries haha!! I'm sure more people do those than you think, and looking at one of the threads right now, called "Friendless" there are a LOT of people claiming to have social anxiety. It really is a type of mental illness that plagues sooooo many people. I wonder if there is any correlation between people who become equine enthusiasts and those who have social anxiety? Or if its just some people have social anxiety and they happen to get into horses and horse sports. For me personally, horses have a bigger draw, almost because I can relate more with their behaviors and emotions due to my own illnesses. I wonder if others knowingly or unknowingly feel the same. Either way, horses are like magnets.



I've often wondered the same thing. Is it somehow that horses have a draw for those that aren't as comfortable around other people? Or at least crowds of people? 

And horses are like magnets. Last week at my grandsons baseball game there was a house right next to the fields where there was a horse in a fenced area. (small town...horses in town are ok). At one point there were 6 or 7 kids standing at the fence petting the horse. At that point the "OMG someone's going to get hurt" feelings came out in me and I started to go shoo them away...but I didn't. But it did hit me that kids especially are just drawn to horses. Most of the time they aren't scared. There's that magnetism without fear that comes with the innocence of being a child. 

That particular grandson that was playing baseball that day is slightly on the autism scale. He has social anxiety at the age of 3. He loves horses!!! No fear at all. Anytime he sees a horse he wants to touch it and pet it and get on it. He loves chickens too, but I'll stick with keeping him around horses, someone else in the family can get chickens


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