# I'm so frustrated!!!



## Brandon (Jan 17, 2008)

Man it really sounds this horse is just tryin to really test you. What do you do when he acts up and stuff?


----------



## FGRanch (Feb 9, 2008)

How old is he? Have you tried taking him away from his buddy yet?


----------



## Dumas'_Grrrl (Apr 2, 2008)

FehrGroundRanch said:


> How old is he? Have you tried taking him away from his buddy yet?


To the best of my knowledge He's 8 or 9. 

The best way to get a halter on Dumas is to halter Twister and take him out of the pen. Then Dumas will want to go too. Dumas will then stand next to you at the gate and allow himself to be haltered and have the lead snapped on. Dumas is usually really good with his manners once the halter and lead are on. (yesterday was the first time he had ever tried to take off) He will do the usuall and try to get some grass but he never pulls on you or steps into you. He will let you lead him just about anywhere you want to go. He stands tied very well. He is a statue when you saddle him. He resists the bit. We were told that you had to tie him to bit him when we got him and we have not been able to get his bridle on without tieing him down. He will not move when you mount or dismount and has been good under saddle so far. 

Dumas does not want to be with us but knows his job ( trail rides).

My frustrations come when he is not under saddle but rather ALL the rest of the time. Its almost impossible to brush him. He will not stand still for it. He will constantly swing his rear end around towards you when he is not on a lead rope (to which I have just said no firmly and walked around to the front of him and tried again and if that failed I would shoo him off and try again if I keep getting his hind end.) and if he is on a lead rope he will swing his rear away from you so that you cannot brush much past halfway back on his body. He won't let you get to his mane as he will move or lift his head up so high you can't continue on grooming. He is afraid of the water, and spray bottles, and rags and sponges and the container eqispot comes in. We have never been able to touch him with anything other than ropes and hands except for a nice soft brush as I already said.

As for separating the two. Dumas will freak out when he discovers that he is alone. I have really noticed this in the past month while we have been letting them graze in the yard. Twister will go about his merry business of mowing the lawn and Dumas will look up and realize that Twister has moved on, usually around the side of the house. And start that panic sounding whinny and take off running untill he finds Twister. From what we can tell Dumas is usually in charge. Twister is just a lot more laid back.

We have not really tried to separate the two we haven't had a need to and we usually do stuff as a family so both horses are always used at the same time. Even when we have tried to work with one the other can usually still see them.

I hope this info helps... I'll answer whatever else you need. I'm just out of ideas short of throwing him in a round pen and working his **** off letting him know that we are in charge. I dunno... I want him to trust us tho. Thats why we have been trying the nicey nice stuff for the last 6 months. Sorry this is so long I just need some direction. :?


----------



## ahearn (Jul 10, 2007)

Dumas- I have the same question Fehr has. Is he buddy sour by chance and freaking out when he's too far from his buddy? If he's buddy sour, it makes it difficult for the horse to bond with his owner because he has everything he needs from his horsey partner! Does that make sense?


----------



## Dumas'_Grrrl (Apr 2, 2008)

Buddy sour makes sence. They play and kind of groom each other and such. 

I do have another place I could keep Dumas. We have a pen right behind our house with a 6 acre pasture behind it and then behind the pasture is a corral and barn (empty barn no good for the horses) You can't see the fence line very well but the round hay bale is beside the fence. 










the corral would be in the VERY back of this picture. Can't see or hear anything from the barn at the house and vice versa. Its almost 1/2 mile away. 

Do you think the horses would panic not being able to see and hear each other or do you think this would be ideal? We kept the horses in the coral until we built the smaller pen behind the house so they are familiar with the coral. 

Do you think Twister would flip out being alone?

Which horse would you put where?

Sorry for all the questions.


----------



## FGRanch (Feb 9, 2008)

I would certianly seperate the two of them. Which ever horse you are going to be working more leave more accesible (sp?) I'm sure both horses will be upset when you first sperate but with time will get over it. I find that teaching a horse it's okay to be alone is a great method of training. It really does teach them alot more than just not to be herd bound.


----------



## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

That would make sense...maybe move him gradually? A bit of time each day away from his friend?


----------



## Dumas'_Grrrl (Apr 2, 2008)

I'll give it a try.

What about the scared of everything part of him. Its not the normal... Oh la de da I'm a horse and then all of a sudden what the heck is that! oooh I'm frightened. Its just a flat out. I do NOT like that. Don't touch me. 

Do you think that at 9 he is set in his ways of just not accepting new things or should I keep pressing.


----------



## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

I'm not sure if this is the right thing but would it be better to keep them apart during a time when you can be with him a lot? So he gets used to being with you alone and no other horse. I've never had to seperate horses so I'm not sure if thats good advice or not. It just seems to make more sense, if your going to seperate them, that the antisocial one should have you as a companion instead of another horse. Rather than leaving him alone for long periods of time. I worry he will totally freak out and hurt himself.


Sorry I'm adding more :lol: I never let a horse turn its butt to me unless I know they just want it scratched :wink: If any of them turn their backsides I push them around. I have even kicked, smacked and shoved them around.


----------



## Dumas'_Grrrl (Apr 2, 2008)

Vidaloco said:


> I'm not sure if this is the right thing but would it be better to keep them apart during a time when you can be with him a lot? So he gets used to being with you alone and no other horse. I've never had to seperate horses so I'm not sure if thats good advice or not. It just seems to make more sense, if your going to seperate them, that the antisocial one should have you as a companion instead of another horse. Rather than leaving him alone for long periods of time. I worry he will totally freak out and hurt himself.
> 
> 
> Sorry I'm adding more :lol: I never let a horse turn its butt to me unless I know they just want it scratched :wink: If any of them turn their backsides I push them around. I have even kicked, smacked and shoved them around.



This is the thing. I don't work the horses together. I usually do it right outside their pen in my back yard. I have taken Dumas for MANY walks just he and I and he seems fine. He will lead darn near anywhere I want. I'm nervous that they will get freaked being alone. They are hardy horses that haven't had anything but a minor scrape. I don't want them trying to climb out of the corrall or something silly like that when I can't see them or hear them. 

IF i could reach Dumas when he turns his *** to me I'd whack him a good one! EVERYTIME! He just does it out of arms reach but within striking distance. He is a sharp cookie! He has NEVER kicked at us... NEVER. The thing is that he COULD if he wanted to.
I don't trust him. One minute he is wonderful then you go to do something else and he gets super cautious. He STAYS at arms reach where you can't get up close to be safe. I think he sences that I don't trust him. And I know he does not trust me. I HAVE sat in his pen quietly for hours!!!!!! He just avoids me. He is not curious. He knows what I am. 

I don't know if i'm trying to talk myself into or out of Dumas.
I have this little voice in the back of my head saying get rid of him. He's not trustworthy. 
It also doesn't help that one of ours friends made a standing offer to buy him or trade horses for him. This friend is an accomplished horseman. No awards or ribbons. He just eat/sleeps/breathes horses. A true backwoods country boy. i'm sure he hasn't even heard of parelli. I keep thinking that putting up with a biatchy mare once in a while is better than putting up with a pain in the butt gelding all the time.

Then I think how good Dumas is sometimes and if we could just turn that corner and get some trust. He would be awesome.


----------



## ahearn (Jul 10, 2007)

He might freak out at first but he has to learn to be alone with you. He CANNOT be where he can see Twister during this time. Especially during training. His focus has to be on you and only you. It's that whole "lungeing for respect" thing the ClintonAnderson and some of the others talk about. If a horse is on the lunge line running in a circle but looking at all his horse friends then he's not focused on you! Same principle. If Dumas is so worried about Twister and his whereabouts, he's not going to focus on you. Every little thing will freak him out. Kind-of like when you are focused on something really hard and someone comes up a merely touches your shoulder, you freak out! 

I say put Twister inthe back pasture and Dumas close to the house. Work with him daily just on groundwork and respect. Over a good bit of time introduce them back together in little increments.


----------



## Dumas'_Grrrl (Apr 2, 2008)

ahearn said:


> I say put Twister inthe back pasture and Dumas close to the house. Work with him daily just on groundwork and respect. Over a good bit of time introduce them back together in little increments.



That's what I was thinking of trying ahearn.


----------



## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

If you are looking for permission to trade/sell him for a horse you may more trust in, you have mine :wink: 
I've had horses that weren't a good "fit" with me for one reason or another. I feel bad and cry when they go away but If I can't trust them or I don't enjoy riding them then bon voyage. I'm too old and break to easy with an untrustworthy horse. 
I sold one just because she wouldn't look me in the eye and she had a trot like a jack-hammer. Even though she was a polite surefooted trail horse.


----------



## ahearn (Jul 10, 2007)

I definitely agree with Vida! I did the same thing with an appy I had. I worked and worked with him and he NEVER came around! It's worth a try to seperate the two horses and work with him, but if that doesn't work I'd have to seriously consider a trade or sale.


----------



## Dumas'_Grrrl (Apr 2, 2008)

Ladies, I think you read between the lines....THANK YOU! 
I TRUELY appreciate your time and wisdom this afternoon!

I am not a spring chicken myself. I'm old enough to know better and young enough to keep trying. I suppose that is part of my delima. If I get hurt trying to get this horse come around my whole family will suffer.

I will try to work them completely apart. IF I don't see any improvement after another month or so. I'm going to trade/sell him.
I think it would be best for all of us including him.


YA'ALL ARE THE BEST !!!!!!!!! ((((((GROUP HUG)))))) :lol:


----------



## Vidaloco (Sep 14, 2007)

(((((((Big Hugs)))))) to both of you !


----------



## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

Keep working, good luck!!


----------



## FGRanch (Feb 9, 2008)

Dumas you are a very smart lady! I've always said that there is no point in pushing for a relationship if there is never going to be one. 

I sold Nita (the red roan that had the little filly Miss Legs) for the exact reason. I tried for two years to get along with her and we just never seemed to form a bond. I've never seen the point in keeping a horse around that you don't get alone with.

Now with that said, I hope that seperating the two monster (I call my horses that too, please don't take offense  ) makes Dumas a better horse for you.


----------



## Dumas'_Grrrl (Apr 2, 2008)

I'll give it a go separating the two. 

My husband worked with Dumas a tiny bit when he came home and wouldn't ya know it Dumas let him pet him :roll: just last night the hubby was ready to let Dumas go and now he's starting to rethink it. 

With all this on and off again attitude we get from Dumas I'm starting to wonder if he is Bipolar! :shock: OK so I know he's not but dang....goofy horse!

Like I said we will try it for another month or so. 

Thank you for your kind words and letting me know you all have had similar situations!


----------



## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

Keep us updated on the boys!!


----------



## FGRanch (Feb 9, 2008)

I have often thougth that my mare was bipolar!


----------

