# Changing Trainers: How not to burn bridges?



## Amba1027 (Jun 26, 2009)

I would just tell her the truth. If she is truly a great friend, she will understand. I know a lot of trainers tend to take it personally when a client decides to not work/stop working with them, so maybe stress to her that really the deciding factor for you is being able to still have Dante around and being able to learn with him. She really should understand. If she doesn't, it will suck to possibly lose her as a friend, but do you really want someone that petty as a friend anyway? As for how to word it, how about: "Hey (name), I know how much you have been looking forward to working with Dante, and I have been looking forward to it too, but I think there might be a change in plans. It turns out that (farrier name) is a really great trainer as well, and I think I may want Dante to work with him for now. I really would love to have you work with him, but having Dante so far away would really be tough for me. If I work with (farrier) then I can keep Dante here with me, and better yet, I will be able to learn and grow with him as well." 

Good luck. I know things like this are tough.


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## Chasin Ponies (Dec 25, 2013)

I'm not a big fan of the "send the horse off to the trainer" way of doing things and especially not the rule of the trainer not allowing the owner to ride.

I believe the horse and owner should learn_ together_ and become a_ true team_ and that only happens when the owner is heavily involved and can understand everything that is being done with the horse and most importantly _why_. The trainer works with the horse alone sometimes, but the owner rides regularly also and should receive instruction so that they learn together.
Doesn't do anyone any good to have a horse that performs perfectly for the trainer but becomes a ridiculous mess when the owner gets on.

I'd just tell her that you need to move the horse _closer_ to home and it's no reflection on her or her training abilities. Chances are she will be at least a little resentful of this but you need to do what's best for you and your horse.


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## .Delete. (Jan 7, 2008)

Chasin Ponies said:


> *I'm not a big fan of the "send the horse off to the trainer" way of doing things and especially not the rule of the trainer not allowing the owner to ride.
> 
> I believe the horse and owner should learn together and become a true team and that only happens when the owner is heavily involved and can understand everything that is being done with the horse and most importantly why. The trainer works with the horse alone sometimes, but the owner rides regularly also and should receive instruction so that they learn together.
> Doesn't do anyone any good to have a horse that performs perfectly for the trainer but becomes a ridiculous mess when the owner gets on.
> *


I agree. UNLESS this is a problem horse. If I have someone coming to me with a horse who has a vice. That owner isn't allowed to touch that horse until I see a change in attitude. 

I had a woman come to me with a large gelding who bucked off 3 trainers before. She wanted him as a riding horse. But was scared of him because these trainers turned him away. I specifically told the woman to stay away for atleast 2 weeks. 2 weeks later she comes back, where the bucking had calmed down I pinpointed his problem. He was a flighty jerk. An was not suitable for anything BUT an advanced rider. She ended up selling him and never riding him again. To this day he is still only suitable for a very rider, infact the new owners can't even sell him because of his vices.

When it comes to the owner's safety I think that the horse needs to be worked with away from them. One because the owner can get hurt, and two because if the owner sees the horse act up, it can change their view of the horse. I had some very nasty moments with that gelding that would have put the owner in tears. Some people can't handle seeing what needs to be done and their horse fighting it.


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## LadyChevalier (Apr 19, 2013)

Thank you, thats what i needed to hear. And that is the same mentality my farrier has when it comes to training horses, that the owner has to also be involved so that when the horse goes home the owner knows just what to expect and understand how the horse was trained and not be left clueless. And I totally agree with this too. I dont want to ruin what my horse has learned because I'm not up to par for him when he gets home. I want Dante and I to become a team. I dont know if i can get that by sending him to my first trainer. Thank you for reaffirming what my head/heart are telling me.


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## LadyChevalier (Apr 19, 2013)

.Delete. said:


> I agree. UNLESS this is a problem horse. If I have someone coming to me with a horse who has a vice. That owner isn't allowed to touch that horse until I see a change in attitude.
> 
> I had a woman come to me with a large gelding who bucked off 3 trainers before. She wanted him as a riding horse. But was scared of him because these trainers turned him away. I specifically told the woman to stay away for atleast 2 weeks. 2 weeks later she comes back, where the bucking had calmed down I pinpointed his problem. He was a flighty jerk. An was not suitable for anything BUT an advanced rider. She ended up selling him and never riding him again. To this day he is still only suitable for a very rider, infact the new owners can't even sell him because of his vices.
> 
> When it comes to the owner's safety I think that the horse needs to be worked with away from them. One because the owner can get hurt, and two because if the owner sees the horse act up, it can change their view of the horse. I had some very nasty moments with that gelding that would have put the owner in tears. Some people can't handle seeing what needs to be done and their horse fighting it.


Dante doesnt have any dangerous vices. Sure he bucks once in a great while but not hard or aggressive like hes trying to get me off his back- and alot of the bucks he did was probably do to having too small of a saddle on him cuz he hasnt offered to buck since his new saddle. Hes not a biter or kicker, doesnt rear. I've not had an issue really so far with him. He learns really quick and is a people pleaser. I just dont have the training behind me to finish or fine tune him. The fine tuning is something we both need.


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## .Delete. (Jan 7, 2008)

LadyChevalier said:


> Dante doesnt have any dangerous vices. Sure he bucks once in a great while but not hard or aggressive like hes trying to get me off his back- and alot of the bucks he did was probably do to having too small of a saddle on him cuz he hasnt offered to buck since his new saddle. Hes not a biter or kicker, doesnt rear. I've not had an issue really so far with him. He learns really quick and is a people pleaser. I just dont have the training behind me to finish or fine tune him. The fine tuning is something we both need.


I wasn't referring to your specific situation. I was just playing devils advocate


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## LadyChevalier (Apr 19, 2013)

.Delete. said:


> I wasn't referring to your specific situation. I was just playing devils advocate


 I was just clearing that up too, as Dante while yes hes still green, hes far from a dangerous horse. But i do agree with you too Delete that a horse, as one you described, should just be left to a trainer to handle to work out their issues. If Dante or any of my other horses were that bad I would not hesitate to ship them off to someone more experienced and knowledgeable. I like me being in one piece and not broken. :lol:


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