# Please Critique My Story :)



## trIplEcrOwngIrl (May 13, 2009)

“Hey guys, what’s up?” Todd asked, pushing his dark rimmed glasses that matched his short, dark hair, up farther on his nose. “Hey Todd, check out John’s new boat!” Ashley exclaimed. “Whoa John, what a gift!” “Thanks man. Well, now that you’re here, we can go sailing!” Multiple “Yes!” went up from the group. “I don’t know guys, those clouds look like they could bring in something.” Todd said worriedly. “Ah, don’t be such a worrywart. We’ll be back before dark, we’ve got a party to get to, remember? Come on guys, let’s hit the sea!” Liam encouraged. “I don’t know about this Ash,” Todd confided, scratching his head. “Ah, it’ll be fun! Come on!” Todd reluctantly got in the boat as Liam untied them from the dock and John took his place at the wheel. 
 “Hey, who wants a soda?” Mandy asked as she grabbed some cans from the silver mini fridge. Just as she began to pass them around to her friends lounging in the lawn chairs, John stepped over to the wheel. “Uh, guys, I’m gonna go ahead and turn us around now. It will be getting dark soon and the wind is beginning to blow pretty hard.” No one had even had time to protest when a wave grabbed their little dinghy and shook it. “Whoa! Hold on everybody! Here comes another one!” Liam screamed out. “Mandy!” Ashley shrieked as Mandy lost her balance and started to topple over the side of the boat. John reached out and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her back in. “Everybody, put on a life jacket!” Todd ordered as he handed them out. The snaps of the buckles couldn’t be heard over the crashing waves. Liam groaned as he struggled to keep the boat on course to home. “John, help!” He cried out as the wheel began to spin as the boat turned.


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