# Awkward situation- how to approach BO?



## Dresden (Jun 24, 2011)

I will try to keep this short. There's a notoriously hard to catch pony at the barn. He and my horse are like mutt & jeff(that ages me!). He will follow Lucky anywhere. So I can catch him very easily. He is on stall board with turn out but he often doesn't get brought in because he's so hard to catch. I met his owner, X, for the first time this weekend and she saw her pony follow me and Lucky to the gate.

She then expressed her concerns about the pony not coming in to eat and his weight loss. I stayed noncommital as I won't badmouth out BO but X is right. The pony doesn't always come in. X asked me to bring him in when I get Lucky so he can at least get dinner in his stall(they free feed in the pasture so the pony gets run off the food). I don't mind doing this and can easily turn him back out after my ride. Its not really extra work for me as he follows Lucky anyway.

My problem is I feel like I have to say something to the BO. I can't just randomly bring in and turn out someone elses pony. The BO would find that odd at best and I don't want her to think I am just overstepping as I like this barn and the BO. But I cannot for the life of me think of how to say this to her without it sounding like "X thinks you're neglecting her pony so she wants me to bring him in" not in those exact words but everything I think of seems to imply that...can anyone think of a diplomatic way to phrase it? If you were the BO, how would you want to hear this?

I don't want to be in the middle nor do I want to cause trouble between the 2 women. I like the pony and don't mind helping out but I don't want to cause or fuel any drama...thanks for reading this 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BarrelWannabe (Feb 8, 2011)

Does X come out often to care for the pony? If not, tell the BO that she asked you to bring him in on the occasion that she cannot do it. 
I don't think the BO would have a problem with that.
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## Amba1027 (Jun 26, 2009)

I would tell the BO that you've seen how hard to catch the pony is. Tell her that the pony follows your horse and it would be no trouble for you to bring him in with your horse. Offer to bring the pony in so it is less work for whoever has to do it. If you present it that way, as an offer to make things easier instead of an offer to do something that isn't being done, it should keep the peace.


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## iridehorses (Oct 22, 2007)

It's the pony's owner who should say something. It's the pony's owner who should spend some time training her pony to be caught as well.


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## Dresden (Jun 24, 2011)

X does not come out often and I agree, Iride but I feel bad for the little old pony. If X isn't going to train him and I can make life easier for the pony without making it hard for myself I would like to.

I like that idea, Amba but I have a hunch the BO will just tell me not to bother which is why I would like to work something in about X asking me but with it seeming like a helpful offer not a rebuke for something not being done.
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## Left Hand Percherons (Feb 1, 2011)

It's not the BO's job to teach the pony how to be caught nor does she have the extra time to hunt him down everynight. You could approach the BO as a way of helping her out since he is such a PIA but no way is she "neglecting" him.


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## Dresden (Jun 24, 2011)

I didn't say she was, Left Hand. I said I didn't want to imply that and every statement I could think of came across that way. I just want to bring the pony in without drama. Its easy for me to do, hard for others. Thus I am willing to do so to help out X, the pony and the BO.
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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

Left Hand Percherons said:


> It's not the BO's job to teach the pony how to be caught nor does she have the extra time to hunt him down everynight. You could approach the BO as a way of helping her out since he is such a PIA but no way is she "neglecting" him.


No it's not the BO's job to train the pony - however it IS the BO's job to communicate with the owner.

The pony's owner and the BO need to sit down and hammer out the details. It is not up to Dresden to ensure the pony is fed properly. If pony's owner and BO would like to work out something with Dresden, then that is fine.

COMMUNICATION - the thorn of being a BO.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

I would just start bringing the pony in and turning him out after dinner. If/when someone noticed and said something, I'd just comment that I knew the pony was a PIA and as long as he was following my horse anyway I figured I might as well put that herd reaction to good use and put him in for supper and toss him back out when I put my pony back out.


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## Joe4d (Sep 1, 2011)

You say you dont want to be in the middle, so dont be,
The issue is between the pony owner and the BO, It is the pony owners problem. She has done something alot of people are good at. She has made her problem yur problem. Dont play along,, 
I wouldnt tell the barn owner anything, Id just tell the pony owner sorry but I dont know my schedule so not really comfortable being responsible. 
You are the customer also. If you went out to dinner and the next table's food wasnt right would you go into the kitchen and cook it for them? Its a barn owner horse owner issue.


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## Amba1027 (Jun 26, 2009)

Dresden said:


> X does not come out often and I agree, Iride but I feel bad for the little old pony. If X isn't going to train him and I can make life easier for the pony without making it hard for myself I would like to.
> 
> I like that idea, Amba but I have a hunch the BO will just tell me not to bother which is why I would like to work something in about X asking me but with it seeming like a helpful offer not a rebuke for something not being done.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Then maybe you could say something like "X knows how hard pony is to catch and when she realized he follows Lucky in she asked if I could bring him in to make it easier for everyone." If BO tried to tell you not to bother then you could say you really don't mind, happy to help, etc. 

I disagree with those that said that the BO is not being neglectful. True it is not BO's job to train pony to be caught but it is BO's job to take care of pony. If pony isn't being fed, BO isn't doing her job. If pony's lack of training is making it difficult for her to do that job she needs to make X aware of that so something can be done. At the very least she should jump at the offer to have someone else deal with the issue she is ignoring.


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## Ray MacDonald (Dec 27, 2009)

I agree with Dream and Amba. Not feeding a pony and cooking someone elses dinner isn't the same. As said the pony is loosing weight because of *NOT BEING FED*, if that isn't neglect... I don't know what is.

I say, just bring him in. If someone asks, just say He follows my pony so I just bring him.


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

Ray MacDonald said:


> I agree with Dream and Amba. Not feeding a pony and cooking someone elses dinner isn't the same. As said the pony is loosing weight because of *NOT BEING FED*, if that isn't neglect... I don't know what is.
> 
> I say, just bring him in. If someone asks, just say He follows my pony so I just bring him.


Sorry - but this is the BO's issue.

If Dresden feeds it and it colics . . .


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## Amba1027 (Jun 26, 2009)

mls said:


> Sorry - but this is the BO's issue.
> 
> If Dresden feeds it and it colics . . .


I didn't see it stated anywhere that she would be feeding the pony, just that she would bring him in so when feed is dumped he's there to eat it.


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## Dresden (Jun 24, 2011)

Amba1027 said:


> I didn't see it stated anywhere that she would be feeding the pony, just that she would bring him in so when feed is dumped he's there to eat it.


Yep, the BO would still feed him, I would just be leading him into his stall. He is skinny. I can see his ribs and I've watched him get chased away from the food in the pasture so I know there is some validity to X's claims. Thank you all for the suggestions 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sillyhorses (Sep 2, 2011)

If the BO can't adequately handle the pony (i.e. catch him and bring him in to feed) then she needs to not have that pony at her farm. The pony's owner is trying to not have to be responsible for her own horse, SHE should ask the owner what the problem is and brainstorm solutions with the BO... it isn't your problem. I'm sure you could find a tactful way to say that to the pony's owner. It isn't really your business and is it worth YOU potentially offending the barn owner by being put into the position of "little birdy"?

However, I'd have to question the BO's capacity to adequately care for the animals she boards if she doesn't remedy the situation on her own, or inform the woman that she is unable to provide the necessary services for her horse because she doesn't have time to chase it around the paddock. As a BO, there is no way I would allow a situation like that to continue at my farm... it is my job to stay one step ahead of my boarders and be "on the ball" with the care of the horses in my charge. If I felt someone's horse was just too much of a pain, and that the level of "pain in the butt" was potentially detrimental to the horses health (not eating adequately, etc) I'd let the owner know and ask them how they propose to remedy the situation (i.e. training their horse). If there was nothing that the horse's owner could/would do, I'd tell them that since the health of the horses in my charge is of the utmost importance to me, and I couldn't provide that same level of care to a horse who wouldn't be caught (and I'm not willing to chase/train/etc), the horse's owner needs to seek alternate, better suited living situation for their horse. Of course, I'd give them a reasonable amount of time to re-situation themselves elsewhere. I think it would be virtually impossible for the BO to offend the owner of the horse in that regard because her concern is for the welfare of the horse (which is the BO's job).


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## Maverick101 (Nov 8, 2009)

It is not up to the BO to train the pony. But it is up to the BO to ensure the pony is receiving food. So the BO and owner need to make arrangements on how to handle the situation. If I had a horse/owner like this.....Id ensure that we worked out a "plan" to rectify the situation. 

If you get involved in anyway, you ARE in the middle. I would approach the owner and tell her she needs to talk w the BO about the situation, (of course say this in a nice way that you'd love to help etc)
AS if the pony got hurt while you're "handling" it, then YOU are responsible, not sure if you want that hanging over your head.


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## Maverick101 (Nov 8, 2009)

sillyhorses said:


> As a BO, there is no way I would allow a situation like that to continue at my farm... QUOTE]
> 
> Totally agree. I can think of many ways to rectify the situation, but not knowing fully well what the routine is regarding their feeding and turnout practices cannot comment what would and wouldn't work in this situation....Just know what would work at my facility, and I would never have let it get so far as to have a horse loose weight because a horse couldn't be caught.
> 
> ...


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## tassinari (Jul 15, 2011)

If I was.in that position I also woukd have no problem taking a few extra minutes for the pony. BUT as everyone else said, it is not fixing the problem. If you arent there the pony doesnt eat. And I know I would feel so guilty about that even knowing it isnt my problem. Helping out right now might not be a big deal. In fact it might be very helpful to get him fed for a short period of time while they BO and owner find a solution to fix the problem.

Owner needs to head up the discussion. Something like hey BO, my pony is a PITA with being caught. He is low man on the totem pole as well and as a result he is losing weight. I need to fix this, can you help me find a solution? In the meantime Dresden said she can help me out a little bit and bring him in to eat when she is here to do it. 

It is simple and in no way confrontational. You arent in the middle of anything. That owner HAS to find a solution to the problem asap. You cant be the long term fix. I would talk to her and just present it as I thought about it and I am worried what happens when I cant bring him in. And ask her to talk to BO on all accounts before doing this. If you dont you will wind up feeling responsible for a horse that isnt yours and might go even more out of your way because of compassion for him. 

Good luck! Off my soap box now. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## THN (Oct 11, 2011)

Dear BO,

X has asked me if i wouldn't mind bringing in her pony when i bring my horse in. She realizes that he is hard to catch but follows my horse when i bring him in. I don't mind doing it but thought i would talk to you before saying yes. Though my schedule is fairly regular there will be days i cant do it. What are your thoughts?


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

Dresden said:


> Yep, the BO would still feed him, I would just be leading him into his stall. He is skinny. I can see his ribs and I've watched him get chased away from the food in the pasture so I know there is some validity to X's claims. Thank you all for the suggestions
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Are you there at the same time every day? The feed isn't going to sit in the stall as an attraction for mice or birds? You won't be going on vacation or get sick?

If the owner is going to board at this facility, the BO needs to work out the issues with the owner of the horse.

I am a BO, I have been in the situation of the hard to catch horse. It needs to be addressed by the person carries the liability for the situation. Horse continues to get skinny, gets hurt, colic, etc - while on your watch . . .

Just saying . . .


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## Dresden (Jun 24, 2011)

To answer the questions, yes im there at the same time and X only asked me to bring him into when i am there. Not every day. 

To update - I spoke to the BO and she says he isn't any trouble to catch in the evening as Lucky comes up looking for food and pony follows him to the gate. So she's just going to leave him in overnight and turnout after morning feeding. She did say if he hadn't come in yet when I go get Lucky she would be quite pleased if I grabbed him too since he's less likely to come up if Lucky is already gone. So it seems like it'll work out for everyone. (Also got the impression from BO that X may be a bit of a barn drama creator which doesn't surprise me from some things she said). While X isn't entirely wrong, her handling of the situation by talking to another boarder instead of just talking to the BO herself did stir some drama or at least had the potential to do so. Im glad it worked out with very little nonsense. Thanks again for the advice.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

Hellooo???? Has anyone heard of a feed bag? It will solve both problems of being fed and catching very quickly.


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## Ray MacDonald (Dec 27, 2009)

Or the BO could just hold that bucket while the horse ate so it wouldn't be taken away from another horse. It only takes a horse a couple of minutes for a horse to eat grain. Wouldn't she have to collect the buckets anyway?


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## Reiterin (Mar 28, 2010)

iridehorses said:


> It's the pony's owner who should say something. It's the pony's owner who should spend some time training her pony to be caught as well.


That's easier said than done. It took me 3 and half YEARS to "train" my horse to be caught. Now she will come to me every time, but no one else in the world can catch her! As a result my horse never gets let out if she's in. And never gets brought in if she's out.

OP, I imagine everyone at the barn is aware of this situation including the owner/BO. I don't think any one is going to see it as a problem with you for simply helping out. I certainly wouldn't mind! and I know my BOs have asked other boarders to "try" and help catch my horse. (with no success!)


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

starlinestables said:


> Hellooo???? Has anyone heard of a feed bag? It will solve both problems of being fed and catching very quickly.


Not knowing why this horse is hard to catch = feedbag no no. Head shy? Eye problems? Then add a scarey object he can't get away from?


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## Dresden (Jun 24, 2011)

mls said:


> Not knowing why this horse is hard to catch = feedbag no no. Head shy? Eye problems? Then add a scarey object he can't get away from?


 And they'd still have to catch him to put feed in said bag. I don't see how that'd help since catching is the problem... its worked out for now for this pony but I am curious as to how a feed bag would help?

He's already fed every time he's caught so the catching = food doesn't seem to matter much to him...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

Dresden said:


> And they'd still have to catch him to put feed in said bag. I don't see how that'd help since catching is the problem... its worked out for now for this pony but I am curious as to how a feed bag would help?
> 
> He's already fed every time he's caught so the catching = food doesn't seem to matter much to him...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Very true! If he was food motivated enough for a feed bag, slipping a catch rope on him would be just as easy.


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