# Father has gotten me into financial mess with horse



## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Parents are not required to fund their childrens' luxury items. Doesn't matter how much money he does or doesn't have, and you sound very spoiled and disrespectful. 

Most people don't have insurance on their horses and have to pay vet bills as they come up. Welcome to horse ownership. If you can't keep a horse without relying on someone elses money, then yes, maybe you need to sell the animal and wait until you can afford it on your own.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

The Dad in me (two kids out of the house, one in high school) would tear you a new butthole. Then I would sell the horse...:evil:

I can't imagine anyone who has tried being a parent feeling any sympathy.


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## cakemom (Jul 4, 2010)

Sorry you'll find no sympathy here either. Guess what, he's paying the bills it's his horse. He likely is trying to teach you to grow up. How old are you? Perhaps you can work for him some to pay for the insurance.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Iseul (Mar 8, 2010)

My mother has told me many times she would pay for something and not kept her word for more than a month or so. While I may complain about it, I know it's not her responsibility. I used every penny I had to lease my last horse when she decided she wasn't paying for it anymore (she took on the payment when my dad passed since he was the one that said he'd pay for it as my next three birthdays). I had asked her if she would do that for my birthday presents like he had planned and she told me yes. She decided to stop after a year. I did odd jobs around town with family/friends and made my hundred a month to lease. I now have the ability to save for the horse that I now own, that she did not help me buy.

She recently told me that she'd pay for Alahna's feed so that I could buy her other things that she's likely needing soon. Even that $36/month will help and I appreciate it. I don't expect her to pay my $180 board every month and the fact that I've taken on all the financial responsibilities, she's helping me out by her own accord without me asking because I'm assuming that's what her whole plan was. She made me solely responsible for the horse, and now that I've accepted that she has no need to spend money on MY hobby, she's willing to help me out even though I can manage it myself.

I've never even THOUGHT about getting insurance on any horse, even an $8500 stud colt that I was intending to buy. Our vet allows payments to her regular customers (what most vets around here do) even if it's only $100. With payments being available for large, unplanned vet bills, I see absolutely no need to pay for insurance on my horse. Even a $20k horse does not need insurance, IMO, because if you insure that animal to it's worth, you'll be spending more than the horse is worth within a few years just on the monthly payment. Not worth it, at all, in my opinion.

But..you do sound like I did a few years ago when I liked to think it was my mum's responsiblility to pay for my hobby. I then realized that my brother's football hobby was nowhere near as expensive as my horse hobby. I do believe that she should've spent an equal amount and not dumped everything she had into my younger brother, but that's her decision. She could've said no to everything for both of us. I've seen people with those types of parents as bums living under a bridge, and I've seen some very successful people in the business world.
My point is..it's not your dad's responsibility to pay for insurance (or anything) on your horse. It's yours (unless the horse really is your father's that he's letting you use). I pay for the maintanence on my truck even though it's still in my mother's name. I drive/use it, I pay for it-simple as that.

If it's in your possession, YOU pay the bills.


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## Joe4d (Sep 1, 2011)

yeh if you were my daughter that horse would already be on craigslist. You really are coming across as a spoiled brat. Why not thank him for what he is doing instead of crying about wanting more.


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## Nikkibella (Mar 10, 2012)

I am not coming from the parent perspective. I am a daughter and I own a horse. My father is the exact same as yours, makes oodles of money but won't share the wealth with anyone. I don't expect him to pay for MY horse. He bought him for me because I worked with the horse for four years to get him healthy and sound again, and I still thank him all the time for it. Although I did work my backside off for the horse, I don't ever expect anyone to pay for anything for him, I like the fact that he is MINE and I alone am responsible for him. My horse is not insured, and he has more health problems that you could even imagine. Look on some of my other threads to see what I'm dealing with and you'll realize that you are spoiled. Your dad has helped you out enough, you don't NEED insurance. If you think you need it, sell your horse, simple as that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

You hate him & think he's a cheap liar. Why would you want anything from someone you hate?
Yep, if you were my kid you would be horseless AND cleaning the barn.


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## Britt (Apr 15, 2008)

I'm not a parent, but I agree with the others. 

If you were my child, the horse would be gone.

It's not your parents responsibilities to care for your animal... not unless you're like, under ten years old or something... The horse is yours, so it's time for you to hoist your pants up and take on that responsibility, not whine about it because it's not going the way you expected it to.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

Parents have a lot of financial responsibilities, something they don't share with their offspring. That's just the way it is. You have no idea of where his money goes. The gym may look prosperous but in reality it may not and he is struggling to maintain a certain lifestyle of his family. Financial situations change all the time. Perhaps at the time of offer, he felt he could do it but it the financial picture changes, he has to withdraw. That doesn't make him a liar. It makes you appear to be an inconsiderate selfish brat.


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## gigem88 (May 10, 2011)

Cool off and then sit down with your dad and talk, no pointing fingers or blaming. Try negotiating with him without being defensive. Maybe (if you already don't) helping out at your dad's gym could sweeten the deal?

I see parents shell out big bucks for their kids to play football, soccer, cheerleading, etc. go to tournaments and camps, whatever it takes for that kid to play sports. They don't owe the kids to play sports or cheer, yet they do it. But, when it comes to a horse, they expect the kid to pay for everything!


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## aforred (May 12, 2010)

Speaking as a daughter, I know how difficult it can be when your expectations are not met. And maybe you were extremely upset when you posted this thread and don't really mean it. But there was NEVER a time I would have even considered saying what you did about my mother. She always paid my horse bills in return for me taking care of all the horses. The word you need to learn, like much of the world these days, is RESPECT!

Speaking as a parent, if I ever found out that my son had posted anything similar to what you have, regardless of how upset he was at the time, it would be time for some major tough-love. His punishment when he goes too far, and it's only happened once, is that he loses EVERYTHING he does not need in order to survive. He still knows I love him, he still eats nutritious food, and he still has shelter and clothing. However, he doesn't get food he necessarily likes, he doesn't get his favorite clothes or hair gel (it would include makeup if he were a girl), and he certainly doesn't get to do ANYTHING he considers fun. I make him work doing physically demanding, tedious, and often disgusting jobs to earn back each thing he has lost. Does he hate me? No. He has learned to respect me and my rules. He does still talk back sometimes and act like any other kid, but he knows the limits, and when I tell him he's getting close, he already starts working his little butt off.

Your father's money is your father's money. What he chooses to do for you, as long as your basic needs are met, is his decision. Anything he provides for you should be met with gratitude and respect. One thing my kid has learned is to thank me for the things I do for him. And you know what? That makes me more inclined to do for him when I can.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Just because a person has money - regardless if they're a relative - doesn't obligate them to spend it in any way. Even if it's for another relative.

That being said, I think most people DON'T have insurance on their horses.


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## maura (Nov 21, 2009)

Olivia, 

I'm going to take a slightly different approach to your question. 

I think all the other posters have correctly chided you for feeling your father owes you something and your entitlement mentality; so I won't play "pile on the rabbit."

I also think that in commenting on that, many posters have missed that you are trying to be a responsible horse owner and make sure your horse is provided for, for which I commend you. 

So correct me if I'm wrong, the situation is you thought your father would help with either insurance or vet bills, and he's backed out? And you have some money saved for emergency vet bills, but not the amount you'd be comfortable with? 

I would say that if your horse's value is under $10,000., you need either the emergency fund or the insurance, not necessarily both. Here's why - basic mortality insurance on the horse requires that you pay for surgery, most commonly colic surgery, before they'll pay on a mortality claim. So if you have a $5K horse, the insurance company my require you to pay for an $8K surgery before they'll pay the $5K for the horse. The options are pay for major medical insurance on top of the mortality, which is quite expensive, or to not insure but to build up an emergency fund. 

If the very worst happens, and your horse colics and you have to make a decision whether or not to send the horse for surgery, you will have to deal with that then. If you do not have the money to pay for colic surgery, or decide not to for other reasons, that does not make you a bad or irresponsible owner. Not all colics are good surgery candidates, and it doesn't make sense to treat some colic cases that way. Same thing with major lameness that impact long term soundness; you'll make that decision based on the circumstances, you don't automatically send every case to surgery. 

You have enough money saved to pay the vet bills for a non-surgical colic, or for a minor or moderate lameness or a wound. That's a good start, and better than many horse owners. 

What makes a bad or irresponsible owner is not being able to provide BASIC veterinary care, or allowing the horse to suffer because they don't have money for the vet. Unless I've missed something, that is not your situation. 

I would focus your energy on continuing to build your emergency fund, and continuing to build your horsemanship. Insurance is terrific to have, but there are other options - it doesn't make sense for some horses and some situations. If you have a nice pleasure/Pony Club/local show horse as opposed to a serious show horse with a competition it may NOT be the best route. 

The best way to deal with your father backing out of his promise is to be smart, independent and self sufficient. I don't think your situation warrants you selling your horse; just continue building your emergency fund as best you can.


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## Casey02 (Sep 20, 2011)

I think Maura covered it pretty well before I was about to blow my lid


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

If you said any of this stuff to your dad, he'd either beat your behind, ground you or just up and sell the horse. And he'd be justified. So, now that you've blown off steam sit down and think a minute about where you're really at financially. 

You said you have money set aside for a vet bill, that's good. You want insurance and that's not bad but it's pretty pricey and most folks go without it, even on expensive show horses, because you can pay a lot of vet costs with the amount of money you'd spend insuring your horse every year. 

With most horse insurance it covers only so much, for instance $7500, and you have to pay a deductible probably $500 and a portion of the costs. Right now I'm leasing out a mare that I valued at $10K, her mortality insurance is $275/year, her major medical for $7500 coverage with a $500 deductible is $275/year (and they only pay "usual and customary" which is generally NOT as much as the vet charges and you're liable for the rest) and Loss of Use which is $200/year and pays 50% of her value if she is injured to the point of not being usable but not needing euthanasia. In other words, they'll pay me $5000 and give me a pasture puff for the rest of her life. So, before they even get on the horse, the lessee paid $750 out of pocket for 1 year insurance and that doesn't cover ANY of the routine care like floating teeth or vaccinations. 

IMO, horse is at home and in your control all the time, you can very easily do without it. I do not insure all of my horses that stay at home, not even the stallion. I do have a vet fund set aside for emergencies and I save up the money yearly to pay for vaccinations and teeth floating, just like I have a farrier fund, hay fund, tack fund and so on.


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## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

And THIS is one of the huge problems in America.

Youth think they are *entitled* to have everything. 

Just because your father is rich, doesn't mean he has to give ANY money to you. Yes, it was wrong of him if he did indeed promise to pay the horse insurance but now he is backing out, but welcome to real life. It's harsh.


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## Chevaux (Jun 27, 2012)

Well said, Maura.


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## greentree (Feb 27, 2013)

She is not in America, but Australia, so apparently it is a global problem.

nancy


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## LoveHipHop (Mar 27, 2012)

I agree that you are trying to be responsible in deciding what's best for your horses future now that you can't afford the insurance  I think that's good, and you must be disappointed, as you did mention that your dad told you *he'd* pay for the insurance. But things don't always work out, and for many reasons, parents might not be able to help you out anymore, so in that respect it's always best to not buy a horse unless you can afford it with your own money


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## Hidalgo13 (Dec 24, 2010)

While you thought you could count on your father for the expense and got disappointed in the end, its no reason to hate him. Im pretty sure you dont actually and are just like many other people who use the word lightly, but you need to understand how serious it is to say you hate someone. Its a very deep and ugly feeling and it should not be used lightly. Even less when it involves your parents. 
I understand your disappointed, but life isnt always all hunkydory and easy where everything we want is handed to us.

As for your dad, im sure he didnt take back his word randomly. Owning a business is difficult and im sure he doesnt tell you everything. For all you know things are not looking too well for him now. So whether he is not willing to pay because hes not comfortable with the extra expense or because he wants you to be more independant, you should thank him. Because the way i see it, according to maura, insurance just might be a waste of money in your case. In other words your father is doing you a favor and you are learning/possibly saving money.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

I'm going the other way with this because the OP is a 'minor' and her father allowed her to buy the horse, as the adult here he should have sat down with her in the first place and gone over all the costs involved - and insurance is a really important part of that expense and he should have made it clear before going ahead with the purchase what he wouldn't pay for because if he'd done that she wouldn't have bought the horse in the first place
I think its unfair to a child to not do all of this up front
My children all had ponies/horses and so did my husband and I and though we all had little part time jobs to help out it was understood from the start that as parents we would foot the bills while they were at school or college because it was our responsibility as parents to do that
His daughter is now hurt and angry because he failed to do what was right.


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## LoveHipHop (Mar 27, 2012)

I agree with Hidalgo13, I bet you don't really hate your dad, right? It was very kind of him to offer in the first place


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I do hope for your sakes that he doesn't monitor your internet use, and finds this post.


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## DeliciousD (Feb 25, 2013)

Your horse, your costs 

My dad is very poorly with bowel cancer and has been in ICU for a week having had his entire large intestine and half his small intestine removed, because he is ill, he cannot work. My parents provided me with food and shelter for years as a child, so now as an adult not only have i bought my horse off them and taken over all costs, but i am paying their mortage to help 

Unfortunately horse ownership is a luxuary not a right. If you cannot afford it you need to cut back elsewhere.


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## Endiku (Dec 6, 2010)

Wasn't this horse supposed to be an investment on your part? I believe I remember you saying that you were going to train her and sell her on for a profit. If you are wanting to make a profit off of her, then the horse needs to be your investment and your investment alone, and your dad should not feel guilty for not paying his part (which was kind of him to offer in the first place), unless you were planning to split the profit with him.


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## cowgirllinda1952 (Apr 15, 2013)

*Well now, I think maybe some people are misunderstanding the situation*. *I dn't really think she's trying to be a spoiled brat about this, and I don't think she thinks her dad "owes" her. I think she is very, very upset because her dad gave her is word on something and then reneged on the deal I am 61 years old, and I would be quite upset if anyone did that to me. I am always god tomy word, so I take it for granted that others are as well. I also think she is upset because she bought the horse, on his word that he would pay the insurance. Also if the horse is indeed "his horse too" than I would think that he should contribute to some of the expenses. I think having $1200-$1500 saved up for vet bills is plenty to start with, and I wouldn't worry about insurance. I've known people who had show horses, and no vet insurance, and if you're horse is not a real expensive horse, then you would be wasting money in no time. I would love to know how old you are, and what you paid for your horse, pictures?* *I'm just trying to see things from both sides. I don't think she actually "hates" her dad, but is just hurt and upset, as I myself would be if anyone gave me their word, then went back on it. A promise is a promise, so I don't think she is saying he "owes" her, since it was him who made the offer. Just my opinion.*


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## Jangalian (May 6, 2013)

OP- 

For your father egardless of how he is don't post how much you despise, hate, yadda yadda him on the internet. If he found it I am sure you know the consequences. Not going to blast you or anything. Just watch what you type from now on. You never know who is reading.

With that said unless you are doing something uber important and strenuous I wouldn't bother with the insurance. If you can afford routine vet stuff, and the emergency stuff then you are good to go.


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## Samstead (Dec 13, 2011)

woah woah woah people let's slow down a bit. I don't think the OP is spoiled at all, she was promised something that means a lot to her ans has had it seemingly pulled out from under her without notice. Had her Dad not said he'd pay for the insurance I doubt she'd have bought the horse in the first place, nor expected him to pay it. Sh is upset because he said he would help her out and has turned around and taken that offer away. Does her Dad owe her the insurance? well not technically but he should make good on his word.


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## Hidalgo13 (Dec 24, 2010)

(sorry off topic) But oh (shudder), I made so many punctuation and spelling mistakes in my post.  I find it quite difficult to write/reread properly on my phone. :lol:

Going back TO the topic, maybe try discussing things over with your dad so as to come to a clear understanding. He might also have promised to pay for the insurance without *fully* realizing what he was promising, and then backed out when he saw it would not be a small expense. Communicating is important, and you might feel things are better between you too if you both sit down and talk about your expectations and thoughts.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

Sorry, but I lost 100% of my sympathy at this: 

"_I hate him so much he owns a Gym in a very rich expensive suburb in the Melbourne City, and you would think he makes so much because I am his only child he has a decent ammount of clients and his gym has been around for 60 years, I know he can afford it but he just is a cheap skate lier I found out._"

Not only did I lose any sympathy I might have had, but I lost any confidence in any 'facts' reported by the OP. I'm 10,000 miles away. I'm a total stranger. It still felt like a slap in the face, just reading it on the Internet.


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## sarahver (Apr 9, 2010)

I was furious too guys believe me. Especially as someone who paid for all their horse expenses from a relatively young age. However, I do just want to point out that as a Melbourninan myself, there ain't NOBODY that refers to Mebourne as "the Melbourne city".

Troll troll troll.


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## FeatheredFeet (Jan 27, 2010)

Well Miss OliviaMyee, think yourself extremely lucky, that you are not my granddaughter, or you just might find yourself thinking twice about reporting such crap about your father! In fact, I'm sure some on this forum know who you are and hope they do report this to him. 

When I was young I wished for a horse. I was lucky to have received my bycicle which incidentally, I had to pay my parents back for. On this, I had to cycle to school every day, even through snow.

I did get my horse, when I was old enough to pay for him and* ALL* his expenses, myself. I expected nothing from my parents and never asked.

I am SO disgusted with you. You are an ungrateful, unfeeling, spoiled and stupid little brat. Sell the horse. Stay in school. Get a job and when YOU can afford one, purchase another. Until then, we don't want to hear your ridiculous rantings about how others in your family, 'owe' you.

Incidentally, one of my granddaughters has gone to Oklahoma, to help those in need. She gives and doesn't take!

Lizzie


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## Breezy2011 (Nov 23, 2012)

I am a daughter with a horse too... and I take FULL responsibility for my horse! I pay for feed, board, vet bills, farrier and everything my horse needs, and not asking my parents for any help! Because of this, my parents told me they would help me out if I needed help paying for a vet, BUT I have to pay them back in time... Either way, the deal was with getting a horse, is I have to pay for it and take responsability. 

My horse is my responsibility, like yours should be your responsibility too, not your fathers. It is YOUR animal, YOU take care of it, if not, sell it and stop complaining, because complaining isn't going to get you anywhere.


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## xJumperx (Feb 19, 2012)

I would just like to put in that I promise not ALL of today's youth are like this. There are many of us that are very respectful of our parents, and all those around us. We are very great full for what we have, and don't go around posting such things about those who do so much for us. I myself am ashamed to be affiliated with such behavior. I hope that she is younger than I am, though I am still considered youth. As previously said, we are NOT all like this. Carry on ...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Misty'sGirl (Oct 22, 2007)

sarahver said:


> However, I do just want to point out that as a Melbourninan myself, there ain't NOBODY that refers to Mebourne as "the Melbourne city".
> 
> Troll troll troll.


This forum is predominantly American and Canadian, so OP was probably trying to word it so that people who were not familiar with Australia knew that it was a big city rather than a small town. 

For example, I live in Tasmania and hardly anyone outside Australia has heard of it, let alone any of the suburbs, so I would've probably worded it in a way that sounded weird for an Australian. Doesn't mean I'm a troll :wink:

As for the OP, I'm actually feeling bad for her. No, I don't agree AT ALL with how she handled it, but the fact is she's only a kid and was heartbroken... Her father promised something, then pulled out on it. Doesn't mean she should've behaved like this, but some of the abuse you've all given her was pretty harsh. 

Perhaps pointing out in a MATURE and sensible manner how she was behaving would've been better? She's a kid and most of us are adults, so there's no reason to behave like a kid and abuse her. Just my two cents.

(For the record, I don't agree with how she reacted, but most of you reacted in just as bad a manner.)


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## Shawneen (Apr 22, 2009)

Don't count on ANYTHING that isn't in your hot little hand.


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

she maybe upset because if her dad wont help her then she has to sell her horse.
i dont think shes spoiled, 

i think he should take responsibility on his part and talk to her about it.

kids who have their own horse and have parents who pay for it, feed them, and child just rides without working for it are spoilt

all these kids who live on internet, tv, game systems have mobiles at the age of 8 usualy being iphones..spoilt


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

Im not going to read much of the above posts at all, because you people do not understand my living arrangements and my life ect ect.

. I am in year 11 a 16 year old at the moment i have no job because i have been trying very hard to try and pass allot of my tests and sacs at school. 

My father said this was "his horse" i have been let down by my father allot before he all of a sudden promises things and when i was younger he didn't pay for anything leaving me with my mum without her having financial support. (he didn't pay for child support). I know you should never trust people, even family now. 

I knew that i couldn't afford a horse by my self and with all the changing schools previously, i knew i could not just get a part time job all the time because than it would make it hard or impossible to pass year 11, and because of my memory issue it greatly effects my learning. 

Yes my father did say he would buy the horse but i payed for it upfront with my money, because he said he would pay me back. Yet He still hasn't payed me back the money and that money i used was saved up for vet bills.

now my father is saying how i said agistment was "only 30 $ a week" while i told him it was actually "36.00$ per week" before he bought the horse so i have no idea if i am stuck paying for expenses that i am not up for.

Any ways ima free lease her out, to some little kid and ill get enough enjoyment over, that because atm shes only suited to light riding. Anyways it will all work out for me some how it does.


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## tbcrazy (Sep 27, 2012)

Iseul said:


> I've never even THOUGHT about getting insurance on any horse, even an $8500 stud colt that I was intending to buy. Our vet allows payments to her regular customers (what most vets around here do) even if it's only $100. With payments being available for large, unplanned vet bills, I see absolutely no need to pay for insurance on my horse. Even a $20k horse does not need insurance, IMO, because if you insure that animal to it's worth, you'll be spending more than the horse is worth within a few years just on the monthly payment. Not worth it, at all, in my opinion.
> 
> .


Insurance doesn't HAVE to be that expensive- I insure my guys for $400 per year, and it covers $8000 in major medical expenses and $5000 for mortality- I've used my policy in the past, to the full extent of $8000. Without it, my horse would have been put down because I didn't have $8000 lying around when he had a pasture accident :/ point being, it doesn't cost me a fortune, and they aren't fancy horses by any means. Is it worth $400 for the piece of mind in my case? Absolutely  that being said, I can definitely understand why the OP wants it, but do agree that it is her responsibility if it is her horse.


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

if ur father said its his horse..then its his bills, not the minor


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

any parents who know that a kid cant affored a horse and expects them to pay all cost the parent is irresponsible not the kid, op's dad said he would help pay, and then backed out..this is his responsibility of a father to sit down with their child and see what can be done


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

gigem88 said:


> Cool off and then sit down with your dad and talk, no pointing fingers or blaming. Try negotiating with him without being defensive. Maybe (if you already don't) helping out at your dad's gym could sweeten the deal?
> 
> I see parents shell out big bucks for their kids to play football, soccer, cheerleading, etc. go to tournaments and camps, whatever it takes for that kid to play sports. They don't owe the kids to play sports or cheer, yet they do it. But, when it comes to a horse, they expect the kid to pay for everything!


I used to clean his gym mirrors for money, he promised horse riding lessons, but he said i had to clean all the mirrors and that took 5 hours sometimes after schoo,l i had no time to do homework so i had to stop. He also didn't take me for a lesson one time so that really let me down after cleaning for 5 hours i was so mad !

A gym client even got worried and asked how much im getting payed ect

cant believe some of u ppl calling me spoilt.


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

i cried all last night woundering how i would take care of the horse, i couldn't even go to school today because i had terrible sleep from nightmares. 

I will have to get some sort of weekend job, but ive always wanted to get a job with horses so ill try and get one.


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

TBforever said:


> if ur father said its his horse..then its his bills, not the minor


I know he said it in person right near me and my grandma, i told him he said that and he denied it !


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

i think ur father is being an stupid, he is acting like the child


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

alot of rich people dont like sharing money, rich and get richer while poor get poorer


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## FeatheredFeet (Jan 27, 2010)

Misty'sGirl said:


> This forum is predominantly American and Canadian, so OP was probably trying to word it so that people who were not familiar with Australia knew that it was a big city rather than a small town.
> 
> For example, I live in Tasmania and hardly anyone outside Australia has heard of it, let alone any of the suburbs, so I would've probably worded it in a way that sounded weird for an Australian. Doesn't mean I'm a troll :wink:
> 
> ...


You are not serious, are you? Do you think the rest of the world is uneducated? You might be surprised to know that the majority of us_ have_ heard of Tasmania and even know where to find it on a map.

Lizzie


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

ok im going to be responsible and pay for the insurance myself and get myself a job to pay for spare money for vet bills. 

regarding that i have been called spoilt: 
I dont demand anything my father offered* to help me pay for the horse he promised to pay for vet insurance and agistment (he pinky promised me and i even asked for a contract but he said no need) ... The more i am arround my father the more i realise how much of a bull talker he is. 

I dont waste any of my money on music or fancy clothes, or buying lunch at the canteen any more i do allot of things to save money.


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

maura said:


> Olivia,
> 
> I'm going to take a slightly different approach to your question.
> 
> ...


Thank you for such a well written post, i am very worried about being a responsible horse owner, i will keep saving for vet bills. Ive decided i will get a job on weekends or free lease horse out.


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## Shoebox (Apr 18, 2012)

You could sell the horse. Obviously it's causing a lot of unnecessary tension between you two - you could sell and wait until you can afford one all on your own, and be rid of the problem alltogether.

Whether or not you're spoiled, the way you worded your original post was EXTREMELY immature. That's why everybody is up in arms - it sounds incredibly ungrateful. You HAVE a horse, which is more than a lot of people can say. Offer to sell - if he pull the "No, it's my horse, I do what I want with it" line then well, the vet bills are his responsibility.


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

If you think he is miss treating you I suggest you move out and find out what the real world is like! Let me tell you... It ain't pretty. Be thankful for what you have because I'm SURE your not lacking in anyway.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## xJumperx (Feb 19, 2012)

No, I don't think you are spoiled, OP. I DO think that you are very well off, and probably have been for most of your life, and you just don't realize it. I don't necessarily mean financially. I mean just in life in general. Not many people have really wronged you, and you've generally had it pretty easy. BUT I am assuming, and you know what they say about that.

I could very well be wrong. What led me to this opinion is the way you are wording things, which is in a very immature manner. I don't mean to be accusatory, I don't mean to sound better than you, I'm just saying that you sound a lot younger than 16 based on the way you type, and the words you are saying. That may be the reason you got jumped so badly - people on this forum are VERY, VERY blunt. They will tell you EXACTLY what they think, and won't hold back. Anyone who wants to disagree, go ahead, but I can easily link you to several threads where people have been ... a bit harsh ...

That said, I think you just need to take a step back and breath. Your father has done a mean thing by promising you the money, and going back on his word. I know from personal experience how much that hurts, and it's awful. What you must realize is that NOTHING is going to change, and nothing will make it better, unless you sit down and talk to him. Be mature, see things from his point of view (as hard is it can be....), and talk civially. That's the only thing that will get you progress at this moment. Okay? 

And don't be calling your dad a 'cheap liar,' and don't be hating him. He's busted his butt for you, at one point or another, if not at several points. He loves you dearly. He tries his hardest to be the best he can be. So show some respect, he deserves it.


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

SlideStop said:


> If you think he is miss treating you I suggest you move out and find out what the real world is like! Let me tell you... It ain't pretty. Be thankful for what you have because I'm SURE your not lacking in anyway.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


i dont even live with my dad, i have been taken away by DHS you dont know me i dont even care what i say online. I have lived with many people, i am lucky that i am alive i know that saying things online doesn't scare me at all.


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

i love when people think they know what goes on outside of internet


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

xJumperx said:


> No, I don't think you are spoiled, OP. I DO think that you are very well off, and probably have been for most of your life, and you just don't realize it. I don't necessarily mean financially. I mean just in life in general. Not many people have really wronged you, and you've generally had it pretty easy. BUT I am assuming, and you know what they say about that.
> 
> I could very well be wrong. What led me to this opinion is the way you are wording things, which is in a very immature manner. I don't mean to be accusatory, I don't mean to sound better than you, I'm just saying that you sound a lot younger than 16 based on the way you type, and the words you are saying. That may be the reason you got jumped so badly - people on this forum are VERY, VERY blunt. They will tell you EXACTLY what they think, and won't hold back. Anyone who wants to disagree, go ahead, but I can easily link you to several threads where people have been ... a bit harsh ...
> 
> ...


He doesn't even pay for my school fees, it makes it hard when u ppl telling me how my father deserves respect, i know i should have never trusted his word. Because he has previously not payed for my basic needs, luckily i have more than jst a couple of relatives to pay for my basic needs.


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## FeatheredFeet (Jan 27, 2010)

Suddenly, some of all this isn't ringing true.

From the OP's first post...

At the moment father is paying agistment and said he would pay for horse insurance....

I'm beginning to wonder just how much of any of this is true since it has been said he previously has not even paid for her basic needs. A father who doesn't pay for schooling or basic needs, but is willing to pay horse boarding?

Lizzie


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

can be easily done...father gets child horse, to shut them up, doesnt feel the need to pay anything else


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## FeatheredFeet (Jan 27, 2010)

Well I guess she is better off than millions of children across the world, who don't have access to a computer. Millions of girls who would love to have a horse. Millions who would love to have (obviously) several people around her who do take care of her needs. Not that having a horse is a 'need', but a luxury which few have.

I think as this thread went along, things changed or were brought up later. I seem to remember another young girl on this forum, some time ago. Similar complaints and also from Australia. 

Lizzie


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## alexischristina (Jun 30, 2009)

Lizzie, I wouldn't be so quick to judge without figuring out what's really going on.

Here's what I gather:

Olivia's father told her he would pay for the horse, and that it was 'hid' horse. She had money saved for vet bills / emergencies, but ended up using that to purchase the horse. Now she's worried because she doesn't have the vet money, and her father backed out and said he wont pay for insurance. He is paying board right now, but because it's more expensive than he thought it was might be pulling that.

She says she's not living at home, I don't know the terms in Australia (and can't scroll back while I post) but I assume it's like a foster care situation? That right there says maybe this thread isn't the whole story, and while she shouldn't be bashing her father PERHAPS her father is more in the wrong than we are aware. While we don't know the whole story, the whole story isn't out business- she has told us that in the past he hasn't paid for her basic needs. This whole thing adds up to a father who tried to 'win back' his daughter, and then gave up on it.

While yes, Olivia is reacting like a 'spoiled teenager' she is just a teenager, and all teenagers have occasional melt downs. IF her troubles are real (as I expect they are, just given the way she writes, the 'mind set' she seems to be in) most of the people commenting are adults, and should maybe sit back a little bit and give her a chance to explain without being flustered and accusing her of being a troll? Living in a foster care type situation really isn't the best scenario, even if you're living with different family members. It's far from the 'lucky, well off ideal' that some people think she's living, it's tough. And sometimes it's TOO tough and you say things that might come off as 'immature'.

It does look like Olivia is trying to be a responsible horse owner, despite the baggage she has with her dad and their rotten relationship and just got a little fired up.

(EDIT: just note that this whole post wasn't directed solely at Lizzie, though the first part was addressing her reply).


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## Tarpan (May 6, 2012)

A horse can be an albatross around your neck when you have no means to care for it, not exactly a little girl's dream.


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## Kotori (Jun 18, 2012)

TBforever said:


> can be easily done...father gets child horse, to shut them up, doesnt feel the need to pay anything else


^THIS! One of my friends' parents divorced, father refused to pay child support. She had to get a job, as did her sister, mother had two still went without food some days. Father randomly appears, spends $2000 sending them to prom. 

Personally, my father asked me once if I wanted a horse or a car. I carefully considered the cost of gas, and the enjoyment a car would cause vs horse. Told him horse. He talks it out with someone at the barn about buying a 40 y.o horse. talk him out of it, into a 8 yo, has a very animated conversation with the owner, settle on a price.Same barn, so there wouldn't even be a stall change. me and him decide how to spilt costs and how much I have to work on it.

I had to go back the next day and tell her that he had backed out. I wasn't feeling too generous to him, but once he explained why (I'm going to college in 2 years, even if it's only 2 hrs away...) I understood. Still wish he didn't lead me on, but I understood. :-|

Point is, you have to ask him why. If he's like my dad, he could have just forgotten- working is very stressful, even (especially) if it is well- off.


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

i dont know how to take that cos im from aus aswel LOL


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

i was in the foster care system, and its not an easy enviroment to be in, and it is very easy to be caught up in the...i wish i had a horse like my friend does..or i wish i had someone to love me like my friends parents love them,

it is very easy to be caught up in that...other people call that being spoilt when its not, its simply wanting what you dont have...EVERYONE does it adults even do it

i was given my basic needs, i wasnt able to have wants as they wernt a must need item,

heck when i turned 18 and was out of foster care, DOCS wouldnt even get me a tv, because it wasnt a must need item, they got me everything else but a tv LOL

they got me a stereo for my bday, LOL

everyday at school id think that persons so lucky she gets this and that, my whole focus was on what other people had and what i didnt have.

now as an adult and i am well aware of cost of living...how blessed was i that i had a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, clothes on my back, i was blessed to have my basic needs met.

what olivia is feeling is totally normal for a teen to think this

and id say there is more to her story of why she feels this way..lack of love lack of nurturing, she may have basic needs mets but missing her emotional needs, if she gets this from her horse i feel she needs to be suported rather then accused of being a spoilt brat..unless you have been in foster care and know how the system works, no one has a right to judge her

and alot of it probably cos ppl here wished they had the opurtunity as a kid to have a horse


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## Samstead (Dec 13, 2011)

bsms said:


> Sorry, but I lost 100% of my sympathy at this:
> 
> "_I hate him so much he owns a Gym in a very rich expensive suburb in the Melbourne City, and you would think he makes so much because I am his only child he has a decent ammount of clients and his gym has been around for 60 years, I know he can afford it but he just is a cheap skate lier I found out._"
> 
> Not only did I lose any sympathy I might have had, but I lost any confidence in any 'facts' reported by the OP. I'm 10,000 miles away. I'm a total stranger. It still felt like a slap in the face, just reading it on the Internet.


again, ease up. She's young when you're young it''s easy to say I hate this or that" over silly reasons, it's normal pre-teen and teen behavior. Yes it seems rude and it IS but they generally don't mean it and are being over dramatic because of hormones and trying to figure all of it.


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## Misty'sGirl (Oct 22, 2007)

FeatheredFeet said:


> You are not serious, are you? Do you think the rest of the world is uneducated? You might be surprised to know that the majority of us_ have_ heard of Tasmania and even know where to find it on a map.
> 
> Lizzie


Sorry, I should'nt have said "hardly anyone". That wasn't thought out. But I work in tourism and it amazes me some of the comments we get from SOME international guests. Like saying "After I've finished here in Tasmania I'm going to Australia!" And they're shocked when we point out that Tasmania IS in Australia :lol: My favourite one would be a lovely man who was convinced that Tasmania is in Africa and that the Australian state is actually Tanzania. So I didn't mean it as a generalization, I was typing quickly, but I mean that in my experience living here a large number of people from outside Australia don't realise we exist :wink: Sorry for any offence, it wasn't intended that way, it was typed quickly without thought.


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## Samstead (Dec 13, 2011)

OliviaMyee said:


> i dont even live with my dad, i have been taken away by DHS you dont know me i dont even care what i say online. I have lived with many people, i am lucky that i am alive i know that saying things online doesn't scare me at all.


ok so there was clearly a reason you were taken out of his care, it would seem to me that reason was his lack of responsibility yes? taken that into consideration should you be surprised by this? I may have misunderstood though. I have a few friend who have been through foster care and none of them are in contact or were with their birth parents a few kids I know are but they were adopted right away and all visits are supervised and their mother willingly gave them up knowing she was an unfit mother so I'm a but shocked that you have kept contact with your Dad, no offense it's just not the norm from what I've seen.


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

Samstead said:


> ok so there was clearly a reason you were taken out of his care, it would seem to me that reason was his lack of responsibility yes? taken that into consideration should you be surprised by this? I may have misunderstood though. I have a few friend who have been through foster care and none of them are in contact or were with their birth parents a few kids I know are but they were adopted right away and all visits are supervised and their mother willingly gave them up knowing she was an unfit mother so I'm a but shocked that you have kept contact with your Dad, no offense it's just not the norm from what I've seen.


depends on the case plan, and her age, if shes with relatives then its a total different case plan

i was one that had supervised visits and supervised phone calls
and also my mum gave me up on her own will
everywhere my mum went docs escort would follow when i was around her.

it is different for everyone in care,

her being 16, they cant really stop it, ive seen heaps of teen run away fro foster care and docs dont give a darn, also depends on what docs


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## tinaev (Dec 2, 2012)

Wow this thread was quite a read.

I can sympathize, I really can. It's a terrible feeling to be let down by a parents, over and over again. Add in some normal teenage angst and we end up with a thread like this. 

OP, you sound like you're doing the best you can to be a responsible pet owner and for that I commend you. It was perhaps not the wisest choice to buy a horse especially if you and your father have a history. I know it's easy to get caught up in the "omg I get a pony!!" thing and how much you want to be able to trust your own father. It sounds like at this point you'd be best served by selling the horse. A 16 year old just can't have the means to support such a hobby without parental support.


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## Stan (Aug 25, 2011)

Had a read through and came to this conclusion.
Young lady, if my daughter had writen as you have, and I read it I would take on board the response from the other forum members. Then I would sit down with you and you would be given the opportunity to explain yourself.

You would have to be really good in your explanation. When you had finished I would then explain my obligation to you and that is this. 
I have the obligation to feed and house you.
I have the obligation to educate and cloth you.
You have the right to expect to not be abused or misstreated.

The decisions on how much money I spend on your recreation is mine to make and mine alone. 

Now for my decision. The horse has gone. 
My mind was made up and your sence of entitlement was so strong I doubt if you could have mustered a reasonable argument to support your actions.

And it is a world wide problem. No respect and a sence of entitlement.



I own the spelling mistakes.:lol:


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

The Dad may be a jerk. Or he may not be. He isn't here to defend himself.

But here is something you can take to the bank: Crapping on a parent and calling your parent names in public won't impress many people. If your parent has hurt you, shut up and deal with life.

Between about 17 & 25, my two oldest kids thought I was a complete & total jerk. Not constantly, but often enough. Now they are 27 & 30, have kids of their own, and they both give me credit for trying. They also understand now that perfection as a parent doesn't happen.

If you are 16 and you want to dump on your parent(s)...I can't stop you. But you won't find many adults who will respect you for complaining.


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## aforred (May 12, 2010)

Olivia, I'm sorry that you're dealing with all this at your age. It has to be rough. I know about promises made and broken by the people you are supposed to be able to trust the most. I was much more fortunate than many, having the mother I did.

There are a couple things I'd like you to think about. The first is that whatever you post on the internet stays on the internet. People often think of it as a safe place to vent, due to the anonymity. And it generally is. I think your original post has gotten the reaction it has due to the emotions you expressed. Again, I don't know if you meant them or not, and you are CERTAINLY entitled to your feelings. If you haven't already, I would strongly encourage you to talk to a counselor or therapist. Someone who doesn't already know you and have preconceived notions about you or your living arrangements. 

And that leads me to the second thing I want you to think about. There are people out there that you can trust. The hardest part is finding them. I learned that one from three decades of experience. One of the people I trust the most is my therapist. I might not like what she's telling me, but I know it's the truth. I am that way with my friends, and while they might not appreciate it in the moment, they know that I won't lie and that I have their best interests in mind. I hope you can at least find some friends that you can talk to.

I am confused on one thing at the moment, and I'm sorry if you've already addressed it. I'm very tired. Is it insurance or agistment your father won't pay for? 

Again, I'm sorry you're in the situation that you are, but I think you would be better served to not put things on the internet while you're so upset. 

If you want to get things done with your horse, there are options. I missed why your horse is restricted to light riding. I hope he (she?) will be okay. If it's the cost of agistment he won't pay for, would a lessor pay for it? I know you said free lease, but it's an option. And if your horse is kid safe, it should be a very attractive option. You could have a conversation with your father without getting overly emotional. (I know how hard this can be. I'm still learning and I'm almost twice your age.) Maybe you could write a list of points you want to discuss and practice them before the actual conversation. Have all the research done so if he asks you a question, you can answer quickly and confidently. He still may not give you what you want or what he promised, and that sucks. It really does. I know you said you're in year 11 and you don't have a lot of free time for working a part time job. Maybe you could get together with someone and brainstorm ways to make the amount of money you need. Could you work off at least part of your agistment?

It sounds like you're going through the painful process of growing up. I'm glad you want to do what's best for your horse, and I wish you luck.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

For anyone else who was wondering:

agist [uh-jist] verb (used with object): to feed or pasture (livestock) for a fee


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

pretty much rent a paddock LOL


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

Its a difficult past to explain i wasn't take away from my father i was taken away from my mother. When i said previously he didn't pay for my basic needs it meant he didn't pay for child care. 

Only reason i believed his promises was that he promised, and i thought he had felt bad because he had not supported me much at all with the horse thing. 

I dont even know how to talk to my father about this without getting angry, when i promise something i do it considering, its not life threatening. I am very different from my relatives.

I do have a counsiller and i am good for the supportive, nice people in my family. 

My horse has a tilted pelvis due to conformation which is not a bad issue at all if shes just doing moderate work, but by being in foal once it has caused an abnormal slight tilt of the pelvis, so that is a bit bad. She may be suited only to light riding or moderate riding it depends if her pelvis goes to its original state and if she is in any pain. 

At the moment she is in no pain and she has had a massage. Her posture from being in foal should change back to normal and if i take good care of her she should improve. Ive only had her for 2 weeks so she has lack of muscle and needs a tad more weight but i cant let her get to fat because her feet need more improving, and the farrier said if her feet had been left any longer she might have foundered and gotten really lame.

If i get a half lease/full lease than i will be able to afford her, myself completely and have allot of money saved up for vet bills. 

My Dad should pay me back the 1,200 $ otherwise the otherside of family, will be on his back because they understand what he promised and what i had arranged with him.


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## tbcrazy (Sep 27, 2012)

OliviaMyee said:


> Its a difficult past to explain i wasn't take away from my father i was taken away from my mother. When i said previously he didn't pay for my basic needs it meant he didn't pay for child care.
> 
> Only reason i believed his promises was that he promised, and i thought he had felt bad because he had not supported me much at all with the horse thing.
> 
> ...


Unfortunately based on what you described about your mare, insurance may not even cover her. If there is an existing condition, it is usually excluded from the policy. Insurance companies have strict parameters on what they will cover- if your mare doesn't get the vet seal of approval, a company probably won't give you coverage anyways :/


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

tbcrazy said:


> Unfortunately based on what you described about your mare, insurance may not even cover her. If there is an existing condition, it is usually excluded from the policy. Insurance companies have strict parameters on what they will cover- if your mare doesn't get the vet seal of approval, a company probably won't give you coverage anyways :/


im going to have to get a vet check soon to see if her posture and pelvis is improving after some couple of weeks of riding, I will ask the vet if any insurance will cover her and than i can find out if shes suitable to be leased. 

My Dad isn't saying he will stop paying agistment, so ill try and get him to sign a contract than ill be able to see if he was lying about paying agistment to !


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## tbcrazy (Sep 27, 2012)

OliviaMyee said:


> im going to have to get a vet check soon to see if her posture and pelvis is improving after some couple of weeks of riding, I will ask the vet if any insurance will cover her and than i can find out if shes suitable to be leased.
> 
> My Dad isn't saying he will stop paying agistment, so ill try and get him to sign a contract than ill be able to see if he was lying about paying agistment to !


Good idea talking to the vet. An insurance company will be more helpful in giving you an idea on what they will cover or not though- vets tend to write down what they see- then it is up to the individual company to decide coverage. A mare I picked up last year turned something up when I had her exam done- she had a slight heart murmur. The vet told me "Don't bother sending this insurance application in, they won't cover you." Tough to hear, and surprised me a bit, but I appreciated the honesty!


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

It all sounds a bit tough. I know some people think the OP isn't coming across well, but being 16 can be super hard. 

Once you're an adult and you have the opportunity to make your own choices at least you can be responsible for your life, but as a kid your power pretty much rests in what your parents have and what they will do for you, or let you do. So while it's really easy to say that people should pay for all their own horses, not expect anything from there parents, well that might work well and fine in some places and families, but mostly I think its people expecting adult behaviour in people who frankly aren't adults. They don't have the opportunities, the means or responsibility of adults. 

It sucks that your dad said he'd do all these things and he didn't. My family used to say they'd do things, but when the time came they wouldn't. In the end I'd hope for their help, but plan not to get it. And that's the best way to do things. Plan for the scenario that you can control and that you are responsible for, and anything else extra you get is a bonus. 

You don't need vet insurance, I've had horses for many years and never had it, and few people with horses under $5000 or so have it. Just not worth it. Especially if your horse already has problems. 

Second thing is, being a minor you can't actually own a horse, so the horse is your parents/guardians whether they like it or not. In that way they are responsible for the horse's care. 

In a way owning a horse at your age isn't the greatest of ideas anyway. At your age you can make your own decisions but don't have the means to shape your world. You've got a lot of school work and a lot riding on how well you do. You have a future that you have to choose and work towards and for the next few years its going to be all work and no money. So consider if it's worth all this trouble. If you lease out or sell your horse would you be able to use someone else's horse on weekends or something?


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

tbcrazy said:


> Good idea talking to the vet. An insurance company will be more helpful in giving you an idea on what they will cover or not though- vets tend to write down what they see- then it is up to the individual company to decide coverage. A mare I picked up last year turned something up when I had her exam done- she had a slight heart murmur. The vet told me "Don't bother sending this insurance application in, they won't cover you." Tough to hear, and surprised me a bit, but I appreciated the honesty!


Do you think if i make her safe to be ridden with and around children she may find a good home ? With the tilted pelvis thing. She has been used as a lead rein pony, and trail ride horse but im not sure if its better to advertise as a paddock pet/companion because if she all of a sudden went lame than people could say that i lied about her.


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

Saskia said:


> It all sounds a bit tough. I know some people think the OP isn't coming across well, but being 16 can be super hard.
> 
> Once you're an adult and you have the opportunity to make your own choices at least you can be responsible for your life, but as a kid your power pretty much rests in what your parents have and what they will do for you, or let you do. So while it's really easy to say that people should pay for all their own horses, not expect anything from there parents, well that might work well and fine in some places and families, but mostly I think its people expecting adult behaviour in people who frankly aren't adults. They don't have the opportunities, the means or responsibility of adults.
> 
> ...


probably get a ride every while and than from friends, but if i do a half lease ill be able to keep my horse because ill be able to save up for Vet Bills, it just depends who would want to lease her, and the leasee would have to have some experience with horses and suit the type of horse i have.

I do have a friend that asked her neighbor (which i know), if i could agist at her horse property, it would probably be less expensive than the agistment i am currently on it also has good fencing and pasture.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

Is this the same horse you are jumping in your profile pic? If so from the injury you are describing that's probably not a good idea. 

A lot of people in life will disappoint you. There is nothing you can do to control the actions of others, the only thing that you can do is control what you do. 

I understand that kids whose parents are not ideal often want them to change. But, that doesn't often happen. I think that maybe your frustration and realization was coming out in this post. 

But I think it would benefit you to keep your emotions in check a little, and watch how you words things.


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## OliviaMyee (Jul 31, 2012)

*


AlexS said:



Is this the same horse you are jumping in your profile pic? If so from the injury you are describing that's probably not a good idea.

Click to expand...

*


AlexS said:


> A lot of people in life will disappoint you. There is nothing you can do to control the actions of others, the only thing that you can do is control what you do.
> 
> I understand that kids whose parents are not ideal often want them to change. But, that doesn't often happen. I think that maybe your frustration and realization was coming out in this post.
> 
> *But I think it would benefit you to keep your emotions in check a little, and watch how you words things.*




No thats not the same horse, yea should have written post not this way to late now, ill probably learn soon to not put my life problems on the internet any more though.


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## tbcrazy (Sep 27, 2012)

OliviaMyee said:


> Do you think if i make her safe to be ridden with and around children she may find a good home ? With the tilted pelvis thing. She has been used as a lead rein pony, and trail ride horse but im not sure if its better to advertise as a paddock pet/companion because if she all of a sudden went lame than people could say that i lied about her.


A great vet question  the little mare that flunked the exam still makes a great riding horse- being denied insurance doesn't mean your horse might not be useable. Admittedly, I'm not a professional. I would start writing any questions down to ask the vet when you see them!


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

OliviaMyee said:


> No thats not the same horse, yea should have written post not this way to late now, ill probably learn soon to not put my life problems on the internet any more though.


I tend to put all kinds of stuff on FB. Some people don't choose to, I don't much care. 

However you have to be aware of your audience, there are a great many parents here who are working hard to provide horses for their kids. And they expect their kids to behave in acceptable ways because of that. 

I'd like to think that you were just having a bit of a freak out as you suddenly realized that all the stuff you have heard about your Dad probably has some truth to it.


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## Stan (Aug 25, 2011)

OliviaMyee said:


> No thats not the same horse, yea should have written post not this way to late now, ill probably learn soon to not put my life problems on the internet any more though.


Young lady some of the readers and posters on this thread are very old when looked at through the eyes of a 16 year old.

I from the age of 6 years on, had the life you discribed. I'm a rising 65year old and work in an industry that has to pick up the pieces of those that fall by the wayside. I never have, and never will, allow someone to blame their childhood for their present situation and behavour, it is not an excuse for bad behavour, you make the choice in how you react to a given problem.

We all feel for you, but sit down, take the emotion out of the problem, and then you will be able to arrive at a conclusion that will give you answers and better understand of the other persons feelings. You should have noticed through this thread others have reacted to you in the manner you have stated your problem. Like attracts Like.

Good luck to you kido.


And i take ownership of my spelling mistakes:lol:


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## DeliciousD (Feb 25, 2013)




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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

i know plenty of adults that are know it alls and act younger then teens, i dont think dissing teenagers is very fair


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## DeliciousD (Feb 25, 2013)

In most social groups in the animal kingdom, take horses for example, younger members learn how to behave but the repremands of their elders. I am not saying one person is higher then another but at 16 what might seem a big issue now can be nothing in a few years time when you become more exposed to the ills of the world.


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

ahh yeah i can understand that


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## DeliciousD (Feb 25, 2013)

I hope the OP doesnt think anyone hates her on here! It is just we might have been around the block a few more times. 

I was always taught nothing in life is worth having if its easily gained. 6 years ago i used to work with horses and got attacked by a stallion (who was eventually PTS for being dangerous). I suffered a broken leg in 7 places, a cracked coccyx and life long nerve damage. Consequently i have about 50 % use of my leg on a good day. I developed a very painful nerve disorder called CRSD (nowadays known as RSD). I was told i would never walk again. My parents wanted to sell my horse who was only a baby at the time. 

Did i give up at 19 years old? Did I hell, not only did i learn to walk about i got back up on my horse and i am riding again! It is different and i have had to adjust, but of you truely want something in life you find a way. 

Trust me, if you have worked to earn it, it is more satifying when you reach your goals then if it is just given to you.


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## Stan (Aug 25, 2011)

TBforever said:


> i know plenty of adults that are know it alls and act younger then teens, i dont think dissing teenagers is very fair


 
I don't think anyone has, as you put it, dissed the teenager, rather, tried to understand and offer understanding but from your responce that may be at your time in life beyond you.

As for being know it alls. Simple math with clear that up for you and you may become enlightened.

16 years of living, The first 12 tied to an apron string = 4 years of life experience.

Know it all, 65 years of living. The first 12 years tied to an apron string = 53 years of life experience. 
Now do you really think you can compete with that life experience which you attribute the term of, Know It All.

A very wise person once said. A wise person learns from someone elses mistakes, a fool learns from their own. Worth thinking about, don't you think.


Ride safely TB

As always I take ownership of my spelling mistakes


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## DeliciousD (Feb 25, 2013)

Good post Stan. Now, i am only 26. But i have a grvaely ill father, a highly disabled brother who is a delight and a wonderful mother. I have had to mature from a young age. But, mathematically speaking, i only have 10 years worth of life expereince. Sometimes i can be cocky, i can be arrogant. I do have to be slightly arrogant to be able to shake off some the ills of life sometimes.

Life is not always a kettle of fish and horse ownership is a wonderful luxuary, but not a good given right unfortunately.

OP you have much to learn, don't take this as an insult, but respect really should be given. Don't hate anyone in life, life is so short and so precious, you never know whats coming around the corner.


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

maybe people need to suport her rather then saying shes a spoilt brat, teens can have just as much experience if not more then some 30 yr old, some teens have it harder in just teen yrs then a 30 yr old as had there whole life


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## DeliciousD (Feb 25, 2013)

I dont agree with that, i understand children can and do go through a lot, but not to have been on this earth as long as a 30 year old means they simple cannot have more experience on how to deal with issues maturely, in fact, the OP has showing in her original post that she cannot deal with things maturely. I hope she reads some of the advise on here.


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

yup, best to think before we speak comes handy LOL i still struggle with that haha


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## DeliciousD (Feb 25, 2013)

I think we all at times are guilty of that  I am no saint if i am riled!


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

yup riled up is very hard to control my toungue LOL esp trying to get last word..i remeber that with my foster mum, each time i got the UH UH everytime i tried to speak oh boy it got on my nerves ****


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## Stan (Aug 25, 2011)

TBforever said:


> yup riled up is very hard to control my toungue LOL esp trying to get last word..i remeber that with my foster mum, each time i got the UH UH everytime i tried to speak oh boy it got on my nerves ****


 
Tbforever, a word of advice from an old fart who has had the joy, sorrow, and arguments with teenagers of my own. Stop, and I mean stop trying to get the last word in because all you do is give the others more to respond to which will in the end be your downfall. 

You get riled up because of lack of experience so you argue with emotion, and your adversary is coming from a maturity born of experience so in the long run will wear you down so you resort to emotional argument which causes you lose control of your tongue. The result of that is, well you make up your mind what the result is. Redirecting misguided folk is what I do for a living so we could keep this going for ever, but, I see some maturity creeping in, by your acknowledgement of you losing control of your tongue. Thats a forward movment.

So cheers and keep riding that horse.


And as always I take ownership of my spelling mistakes.


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

that was many years ago btw LOL...i now am anti social so no conact with anybody except my horse


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## BornToRun (Sep 18, 2011)

Coming from a teenager owning her own horses, I can honestly say it is far from easy, however, you can't put the blame on other people when problems arise. 

Going to school, having horses, and working a job isn't fun, but it's necessary if you want to own horses.

IMHO, if you can not support this horse, then it would be in the horse's best interest to sell it.


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## sandy2u1 (May 7, 2008)

I truly feel that in this case, we really don't have all the facts. I feel like there is a big chunk missing. I'm immediately suspicious. I just don't get it. Did you grow up with your dad? I know you said you were taken away from your mother. 

I let my oldest daughter get a horse...once she had proven that she knew what was involved and could do it. We have been keeping horses together for a few years now. Sometimes we butt heads and disagree about things. That is one thing. If my daughter ever came at me with a contract, I would be beyond offended. Her horse would be on the short bus to the glue factory. 

I can't exactly tell what your relationship with your father is. However, if he is helping at all with this horse, then I wouldn't suggest that you ask him to sign a contract. It will do nothing but make him mad.


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

My first husband was exactly like the OP's father - there are thousands of them out there all the same. he skipped out on us, avoided paying any maintenance, my current husband raised my son and has funded him and supported him like his own.
At various times he'd have 'guilt trips' and offer to buy him things, get involved with things, take him out, build his hopes up and then let him down for us to have to pick up the pieces again and again
After each time he's get angry and full of hate just like the OP has and then it would wash over and he'd forgive him only to get hurt all over again - its his father, he wants him to love him and even now he's much older than this girl he still hopes he'll change 
I have a close friend who's 60 and she still lives in hope that her 87 year old mother will find a way to love her instead of rejecting her for no reason and messing with her head all her life
I've had quite a lot of contact on threads with this OP and she is NOT a troll and this is totally not how she usually is, she put a huge amount of effort and devotion into her riding and the horses she deals with


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## FeatheredFeet (Jan 27, 2010)

Misty'sGirl said:


> Sorry, I should'nt have said "hardly anyone". That wasn't thought out. But I work in tourism and it amazes me some of the comments we get from SOME international guests. Like saying "After I've finished here in Tasmania I'm going to Australia!" And they're shocked when we point out that Tasmania IS in Australia :lol: My favourite one would be a lovely man who was convinced that Tasmania is in Africa and that the Australian state is actually Tanzania. So I didn't mean it as a generalization, I was typing quickly, but I mean that in my experience living here a large number of people from outside Australia don't realise we exist :wink: Sorry for any offence, it wasn't intended that way, it was typed quickly without thought.


No worries, Misty'sGirl. Many, many years ago, when I was at school in England, my friend Pauline Skipper and her family, moved to Tasmania. Years later I thought of trying to look her up, but she would be married now with a different name. Don't know if she had any brothers who might have carried the name on. However, if you ever do come across any "Skippers" over there, do ask if they have a Pauline in their family, who came from Norwich, England. It certainly would be fun to find her again. She'd be about 72 now.

Lizzie


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## Lockwood (Nov 8, 2011)

This thread has run it’s course and is now closed.


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