# They just don't get it...



## Reno Bay (Jul 8, 2012)

Hard times are upon us all. I refuse to give up.

My mother and I, combined, make just short of $1,000 a month. Our rent, bills, gas, and board come out to over $3,800 a month. How are we...? What? I don't know how we've been making it. Well, until now. Food banks, money help from churches, job searching.

My sibling has a friend to stay with if need be. I'm crossing my fingers that the dog and cats can stay there too. I don't mind living out of my car, and neither does my mother really. Shelters around here are packed and, literally, refuse to help us or offer us any sort of advice or support.

We're both pet sitters with rather flexible schedules. Mother is likely to get a job at a local IHOP (a family friend works there and is highly respected). I'm attempting to start a part-time job at a company similar to Mary Kay (but selling something different). Another friend works there and she's going to be my sponsor and help me out...it seems really fun (a job I can enjoy? sure!). If I work my butt off I can make $3-4,000 a month on top of my pet sitting paychecks.

Now for the main point of this post.

Non-animal people just...don't get it. It's easy to look at someone in our situation and say, "Carly should sell her horse." If you don't have animals it's easy to say something like that. I know it would probably be the "smart" thing to do...I'll never sell Reno if I can do anything to prevent it. All the money I make goes to him. I could care less about myself as long as he is cared for. A horse of my own has been my one life dream since childhood...I worked my butt off all by myself, despite my severe Social Anxiety Disorder, to make this horse my own. I am not. EVER. Giving him up.

He's pretty much not sellable. Barely past green broke at this point, not proven in anything, past injury that's healed. The only thing he has going for him is the fact that he's a super willing sweetheart and an adorable love-muffin. Sure you can go on Craigslist and tell me, "but there are tons of horses for sale here!" Well...yeah. But how many of them will find a good home? How many of those horses will exchange countless hands and end up somewhere neglected, abused, or killed? I'd rather spend $450 a month on him and know he's in a good place than get less than that amount and not know where he'll end up. Seriously, what I'd get for him wouldn't really do any good for us anyway.

I may be young.
I may be stupid.
But I'm trying my hardest to make things work.
Selling Reno will be my last resort.

/end rant.


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## PurpleMonkeyWrench (Jun 12, 2012)

your priorities are very backwards and I don't think you will like 99% of the responses you are going to get on this thread. Do you really think it's fair that food banks and churches are helping you board your horse??? That's a shame and very selfish of you. Having my own horse has been my childhood dream as well and I make more than you and your mother combined, but my bills and necessities have higher priority over buying myself a horse. It's called responsibility. Once I'm done with school and have a career where i can afford a horse, is when I will get a horse. At this point you don't need to sell your horse, you need to give your horse away. your "rant" makes me want to rant so I will end my reply. Good luck.


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## Oxer (Jul 9, 2010)

I waited 27 years... until after i graduated from Grad school, and got a killer job, before i bought my first horse. Sometimes, life gets in the way.... and unfortunately, horses are a luxury... not a right.


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## apachewhitesox (Dec 9, 2010)

I really don't understand how you live. You make about $500 a month yourself and $450 of that goes to your horse. Then you have $50 over for yourself for a month??

If I could not provide enough for my horses AND myself, I wouldn't have horses. I may love my horses and and my dog but if I couldn't even look after myself without help from food banks etc I would not own them. That has nothing to do with not understanding the love of animals, that irresponsibility. 

I also think it is really unfair to go to food banks and get money from churches when it could go to someone who really needs it, instead of someone with their priorities wrong.


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

What happens if your horse needs emergency vet care? What if he (heaven forbid) needs to be out down for some reason? 
You're $2000+ short for bills every month. Give the horse away and look at getting another when you're financially able to. 
If you loved your horse, you'd let him find a better situation. Is it hard? Yep. But life isn't always rainbows and butterflies.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

You have to be kidding me.....


Starting out you are $2800 in a hole? You are double your income in a hole. And living off charity? And then expect horse people to get it?

NO I don't get it. You are irresponsible, and because you love your horse, that doesn't make it ok. 

For shame!


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## SorrelHorse (Apr 9, 2009)

I agree.
Love isn't going to pay for your horses colic surgery.
It's not going to pay for the antibiotics he may need.
It won't pay for any x rays.
It won't even pay for the vet to come glance at him.
What will you do then?

I love Selena. If I even think about selling her, I am instantly in tears. It physically hurts me to think about living without her and it hurts if I even miss one day where I am supposed to go see her at the barn. It even hurts having her at the barn instead of at home with the two older geldings. I love Ruger too. He's the most talented colt I've ever sat on. He's kinda stupid, sure, but he's a love bug with so much potential. 

If I was in your position though, I would sell them in a heartbeat. I would give them away. I would not be able to live with myself if I was to keep them and not be able to help them if they got hurt, or even be able to afford the bullet to shoot them if I had to.


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## LadyDreamer (Jan 25, 2008)

You could always lease him out...possibly. That way you retain ownership of him while he gets used and taken care of. 

Thank goodness I have snakes. Eat once a week and will be fine if I have to skip a week. With my money woes it helps a great deal.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dustbunny (Oct 22, 2012)

I hope the $3-$4000 a month job works out for you.
I have a lot of sympathy for those in dire situations. It is not fun. But trying to pay horse board when in danger of not having a place to live for the family needs to be rethought. Maybe the barn owner might know of someplace for the horse that would be a lot less expensive until you can get things together. If it gets to where the board cannot be paid the barn owner is going to end up with a horse. Maybe a rescue group might have a solution...I don't know.
I hope things turn around soon for your family.

And I am going to apologize in advance, but I am always just a bit suspicous of these kinds of posts. We have no way of knowing if what we are told is accurate unless someone can vouch for the story.


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## alexischristina (Jun 30, 2009)

$450 a month on board?
If you don't want to sell I say the FIRST thing you need to do is find the CHEAPEST place you can to move your horse to, talk to your current BO and see if you can work something out (ie: explain your situation and see if they'll be kind enough to let you move without charging you 30 days, or give them your notice now, close enough to the start of the month, so you don't have to pay for another month) and give up ALL of your horsey luxuries. Find leasers, find free leasers, whatever you can. 

Now that's if you refuse to sell your horses... but I think you'll find that we don't "get it" either- you seem to have a deluded version of what is 'okay'. Most responsible horse owners want the best for their animals, which means being able to pay for emergencies, and while that might mean making sacrifices it shouldn't mean a ) taking from others or b ) putting yourself in such a deep hole.


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## JaphyJaphy (Nov 15, 2012)

OP, _you_ don't "get it". How is it remotely okay to be relying on charity and other resources to finance something that is _not_ a basic need? Those services exist for people truly in need, and as someone who has lived in true poverty, I am offended. You are being very irresponsible, and are setting yourself up for a world of heartbreak if you don't get your priorities straight. I realize you love and care about your horse very much, but at this point you are disregarding that in order to serve your own needs. Not only are you utilizing resources reserved for dire circumstances (and not just your own!), you are only barely able to pay for your horse's needs. What you are doing is _selfish_. Please reconsider and think about finding him a good home. They are out there.

Sacrifice is tough, but sometimes it's necessary.
Be young.
Be stupid.
But do not involve the welfare of another living being in that.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I wonder, what was the goal here? Obviously it wasn't met, but what was the aim?


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## DimSum (Mar 28, 2012)

OP you are really okay with the idea (and your mother as well-what in blue blazes is she thinking) with letting a sibling "stay"with someone else while *you *keep your horse and be homeless? I just can't wrap my mind around that idea. It's one level of lunacy to have a horse that you can't swing the vet bill on should something happen but to think it's okay to just let a sibling stay with friends while you spend $450.00 a month on a luxury item just boggles the mind. 

Secondly, the fact you are taking charity to feed yourselves while paying board on a horse just frosts me. That's literally taking food out of someone's mouth to further your own very self-centered ends. No matter how you spin it, that $450/month would buy you and your family a heck of a lot of groceries and go a long ways towards SELF sufficiency. Do you go to the churches and shelters to pick up the food? If not (I suspect your mother is the one doing it), I suggest you go and look into the eyes of the other people there and imagine telling them all about how you much you spend on keeping your horse while taking free food. Does that thought make you feel uncomfortable? If so, there may be hope for you yet. If not...don't bother reading any further as it will only waste time.

Third, you are kidding yourself if you think you can make $3-4k a month selling anything "like Mary Kay". $3k a month works out to be almost $40/hr wages-do you have any idea the thousands of dollars worth of merchandise you'd have to sell to make that commission? You do realize that you usually have to have money to buy the stuff to resell? Most of those work for yourself selling products are very close to ponzi schemes-especially if you have to come up with money upfront. Using Mary Kay as an example, if you google it Mary Kay reps in reality make less than minimum wage. This article outlines just how far-fetched the idea that you can make tons of money selling Mary Kay -something you should look at.
Life not so rosy for women selling Mary Kay cosmetics | Marketplace.org

I don't know how old you are, but most certainly you are old enough to seriously reevaluate your priorities. For goodness sake sell the horse or place him with a rescue or call CANTER and try that since he is an OTTB or give him away.

Quit the pipe dreams-trust me living in your car seriously sucks as a life choice-been there and done that. Time to face reality and step into the real world.


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

Gee.....this reminds me of those animal hoarders who will live in their car with 10 cats or have over 100 dogs on their property because 'each one of them is special'.......OP you need to reevaluate where you want to be in life, don't let guilt cloud and rule your judgement.


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

I'm not going to sugar coat this one, I just can't; people like you OP disgust me. You don't value hard work; you expect people to give your hand outs to pay for your hobby. While people like me work hard all their life, pay their bills, and make sure they are stable enough to have a horse. Do you think you having a horse is fair to your mother? Its time to grow up and help take care of yourself and family.


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## Sunny (Mar 26, 2010)

Almost nothing in this world makes me angrier than people on welfare who DON'T need it.

That is all I am going to say.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

If your pet sitting schedule is so flexible, why don't you try getting a real job? Do you realize how very few people actually make the alleged $3-4k a month those sales places claim you can make?

Why the opposition to getting a job? It's not hard to find one.

You're not going to find much, if any, sympathy here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Reno Bay (Jul 8, 2012)

PurpleMonkeyWrench said:


> your priorities are very backwards and I don't think you will like 99% of the responses you are going to get on this thread. Do you really think it's fair that food banks and churches are helping you board your horse??? That's a shame and very selfish of you. Having my own horse has been my childhood dream as well and I make more than you and your mother combined, but my bills and necessities have higher priority over buying myself a horse. It's called responsibility. Once I'm done with school and have a career where i can afford a horse, is when I will get a horse. At this point you don't need to sell your horse, you need to give your horse away. your "rant" makes me want to rant so I will end my reply. Good luck.


Maybe I wasn't clear, I'm sorry. The food banks and church aren't doing anything for Reno, they are helping my family. I pretty much take nothing of what they give us. My current job pays for my horse and I'm on a good track to another job that I will enjoy and will allow me to support my entire family, horse and all, on my own.


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## grayshell38 (Mar 9, 2009)

Reno Bay said:


> Maybe I wasn't clear, I'm sorry. The food banks and church aren't doing anything for Reno, they are helping my family. I pretty much take nothing of what they give us. My current job pays for my horse and I'm on a good track to another job that I will enjoy and will allow me to support my entire family, horse and all, on my own.


Yeah, but the point is that the money you spend on your horse should be being used to pay for the stuff that you and your family are sponging off of the good will of others. Stop paying for a horse, and put that money toward food for your family or what have you.


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## goneriding (Jun 6, 2011)

Food banks are helping your family because your money is going towards your horse. If you did not have a horse, the money freed up would now go towards food etc. I don't think you understand.:shock:


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## BarrelracingArabian (Mar 31, 2010)

Yes but if you wake up and stop dreaming you'd realize that those food banks amd churches wouldn't need to support you guys if you saved that 450 for actual necessities. You need to think straight this job is most likely not going to even start to make you that much for quite some time so essentially you are putting yourself more in the hole on a supposed great job. 

Just saying your family needs the money more then you need the horse.


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## texasgal (Jul 25, 2008)

Reno Bay said:


> Maybe I wasn't clear, I'm sorry. *The food banks and church aren't doing anything for Reno, they are helping my family.* I pretty much take nothing of what they give us. My current job pays for my horse and I'm on a good track to another job that I will enjoy and will allow me to support my entire family, horse and all, on my own.


Sweetheart, THAT is the point. The money you spend on Reno should go to helping your family, then the churches and foodbanks wouldn't have to. THAT is how they are supporting Reno. 

I understand how you feel, really I do. Life is a struggle right now and if you give Reno up, it's just one more kick in the butt ... I've been there. I've lived in my car .. and owned a horse ... so those aren't just words. I didn't have children at the time ... and I DID have a job, so a little different.

I don't know how old you are, but you're going to grow up really fast. It's time to put EVERYTHING else aside and focus on improving your family situation. If you are a minor and your mother isn't willing (or is unable) to step up and re-prioritize, then you need to talk to someone who will.

I'm sorry things look so bleak for you right now. With hard work and some re-prioritizing (and help from your mother) .. ya'll can turn this thing around. 

I'll be praying for you and your family.


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## BarrelracingArabian (Mar 31, 2010)

Oh and those usually have a set amount you have to sell in a certain amount of time in order to make that much. My friends sister does it but it is not easy in any way so don't think it'll be a piece of cake.


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## LadyDreamer (Jan 25, 2008)

Pm sent!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Reno Bay (Jul 8, 2012)

wetrain17 said:


> I'm not going to sugar coat this one, I just can't; people like you OP disgust me. You don't value hard work; you expect people to give your hand outs to pay for your hobby. While people like me work hard all their life, pay their bills, and make sure they are stable enough to have a horse. Do you think you having a horse is fair to your mother? Its time to grow up and help take care of yourself and family.


I respect and value everything everyone else has to say.

I do value hard work. It was my mother who started going to these places and I had no part in the decision. I have one paying job currently which is rather slow since it is a colder season. I am starting my second job tomorrow (the one mentioned in my OP). Since I make my own hours, I plan to book my days as much as I can. I have friends who may be interested, and they have friends and so on (plus social networking and striking up conversation with people). I'm also working two days a week at the farm, pretty much only to gain credit for later at this point.

Things are looking up as of this morning actually. We have four people who are interested in renting out two of the rooms in the townhouse - that would take a big load off of our shoulders. Staying positive is a good thing and I'm doing my best to do that, work my butt off and all of my workplaces, and make something better of this family.

On the horse, he hasn't had problems yet (knock on wood, etc, etc). The people involved with my BO are extremely nice and flexible on payments, so if and when Reno does have something bad happen to him, at least I'll have already started my second job and gotten a foothold there.

With my sibling (I only use that word because it's an odd situation - transgendered), the only reason I'm fine with him staying with a friend is he has a debilitating illness which he may very well die from. He doesn't function.

I'm sorry to cut it short, but I must leave to my first job.


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

OP - I do sympathise with you - you love your horse and parting with them is really hard but as horse people many of us have had to part with horses for various reasons and thats a step into adult life usually
I had to sell my horses when I decided to get married as no way could we afford to set up home as two young people and afford a horse - the horse would have ultimately suffered. We move on with our lives and have to deal with it
Not that many years down the line I was able to start out again and have owned horses ever since
Can you not find a lease/loan home for your horse or some arrangement where you could board him in return for his keep - no wages?


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

Reno Bay said:


> Maybe I wasn't clear, I'm sorry. The food banks and church aren't doing anything for Reno, they are helping my family. I pretty much take nothing of what they give us. My current job pays for my horse and I'm on a good track to another job that I will enjoy and will allow me to support my entire family, horse and all, on my own.


They indirectly help Reno. How can you not see that? 
At this point having a job you "enjoy" shouldn't be a priority. That's why it's called a job. 
I understand your horse being important to you. I once said I'd live in a ditch to keep my horse living in conditions suited for a horse. But I would never expect or accept charity from anyone while I kept an expensive animal. 
Have you thought about going to school to learn a skill or trade that would give you financial security? There are plenty of programs for someone in your financial situation.
Someone needs to break the family cycle of dependence, why not have it be you?


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Well congratulations on getting the job. I hope it works out for you and your family.

I too have anxiety, I swallow it down everyday just so I can function and afford my home, medical care, family, and the horses that help me through it. Take a look at your priorities. You are taking resources that people like me pay for and continue to indulge yourself... Just wait until you join the real world and start paying incredibly high property and income taxes to support people like you and your family. Especially when it takes all we have to hold on to it. My having horses is threatened everyday, wouldn't be so bad if everyone had their priorities straight.

Someday, if you listen, and get yourself out of your hole you won't "get it" either.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Double


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

$3000-4000/month take home from selling Mary Kay is very very hard to do. 
You need to get your priorities straight. You really owe it to your horse to do the right thing, if nothing else. You cannot count on the goodness of other people to help you with vet bills. Due to tough times, a lot if vet clinics will not accept anything other than payment in full. You cannot count on your BO's reputation to save you. 
Good lord.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

No one ends up on welfare, or whatever other programs your on, over night. It takes time. The moment financial hardship fell on your family, the horse should have been first to go, at the very least, leased out to someone to take that burden off your family. Horses AREN'T a necessity; we may like to think they are, but in reality they are not. You can live with out a horse. Its great that you're trying to get two jobs to help out, but who are you really helping out, you or your family?


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Pet sitting is not a job - that's a side job. Selling cosmetics from a little book is not a job.

You need to get a real, 40+ hour per week job.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

I can see both sides here. 

Yeah, it is kind of silly to be accepting charity stuff if your money goes to your horse when it could be going to food so other people could benefit from that charity.

Butttt...I suffer from anxiety too, and I don't know how I'd live without my horses. I understand where you are coming from. Your horse is your best friend, the one and only that you can talk to whenever you are down and they will just listen. 

Maybe all the adults on here don't get it, and maybe someday I'll be like that too, but I just want to say that I get so disgusted by the people on here that feel the need to be harsh, whatever the situation. Just because this is the Internet does not mean that we can bully people or be mean or say exactly what we're thinking. The adults are the adults, and they should start acting as adults and be mature enough to have tact and poise. 

For those adults: Who are you to judge? Yeah, she needs to re-prioritize, and whether you have been where she's been or not, you need to understand that these are HARD decisions to make, and there may be more to the picture. No one's perfect, so you are in no place to judge anyone.


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## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

I pretty much agree with all the previous posts. 

If I as a family, were only making $1,000 a month (almost $2,000 short of our actual bills), I would have NO luxeries in my life. I would not go clothes shopping. I would not go out to eat. I would not go to the bar. I would not have cable television. Etc etc. _And I would not own a horse. _

I know that the job market is very tough in some areas and some states. But go work at McDonalds if you have to. Do what you need to do to pay the bills. 

I bet if you told your church groups that you had a horse, they would be furious (like the rest of us). 

The same way that I know of people who [email protected] about how their paycheck isn't big enough to cover the bills, yet I see them at the bar on weekends, spending money. 

It's all about your priorities, and you've got yours messed up. I do not mean to come off as rude or mean or inconsiderate, but you cannot afford a horse. You can't even afford yourself. Give him away to a home that can afford him. Get back on your feet without wasting tax payer dollars and donation dollars. 

I think this is what's wrong with society today. Everyone thinks they are "entitled" to have certain things because this is America, when in reality, you should only have the things you can actually afford. 

Good luck.


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## goneriding (Jun 6, 2011)

Corazon Lock said:


> I can see both sides here.
> 
> Yeah, it is kind of silly to be accepting charity stuff if your money goes to your horse when it could be going to food so other people could benefit from that charity.
> 
> ...



Taking from charities when you have a luxury isn't silly, it is selfish. Adults do understand she is in a hard spot with hard decisions to make. Anxiety?....No excuse, deal with it. What do you want from us? Do you you want us to candy coat it? Emotions need to be set aside so rational decisions can be made, time to grow up, she will be stronger for it.


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## Critter sitter (Jun 2, 2012)

I am a pet sitter and also own a hair salon. Pet sitting will never ever sustain your family. and do you have insurance for the pets in your care?? if something god forbid happens? or a kennel license? those are other things you need to worry about. there are LOTS of jobs out there real paying hourly jobs. thats what you need even if it is Mc Donald's or the like.


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## LadyDreamer (Jan 25, 2008)

OP, you are in a hole and the members are throwing shovels of dirt in your face. You can get mad and be buried, or use what they are throwing at you to climb out of the hole. 

Going off the OPs profile, I see she is 22. Still young in the work world. 

What tips can you give to help her snag a better job? 
Where to look? 
How to sell herself to potential employers? 

She has a decent amount to work with. 

As horrible as it sounds, forget about the horse for a bit. If she is not giving it up, she is not. You may find it reprehensible, but the decision is hers, ultimately. 

We only know a small bit of this bad situation. Reno, can you give us anything else to work with so that we can help you better?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

The horse should at the very least be least out to someone even if its as a pasture buddy for another horse. Keeping the horse is selfish.

You live with your Mom, so you should be helping your Mom. She gave up lots of things to take care of you. This should be returned. 

Selling Mary Kay or Avon or anything like that does not make you $3000 in a month. It is meant as a side job. Not a main job. Suck up your pride and go work at McDonalds or Wendys. 

I have anxiety, severe social anxiety to the point that picking up a phone to order pizza would have me in tears. Yet here I sit now at a job sharing an office with 3 other women making phone calls and sales, talking on the radio and interacting with the public when we do on location stuff. My fiance has to travel away to work. I only see him 12 days every 23 days. It sucks, we both hate it. But we have to do it so we can afford to pay our bills, put groceries on the table, feed our dog that is on a special diet and take care of my horse that is high maintence. I work at the barn on weekends 10 hours a day cleaning stalls and teaching lessons to work off my board. I buy my own bedding, grain and round bales so my board is cheaper and easier to work off. I don't get to sleep in on weekends. I don't get to kick back and relax and I don't get to go to Church.

I do all these things so I can have my horse and go to horse shows. I make a heck of a lot more money then you and your Mom combined, my fiance makes double what I make and when he is on EI for his blocks in school he still makes more then me. My rent is cheaper then many cities. My phone bill is minimal, we only have one truck but we still have payments and insurance. There is no way we would be able to live on $1000 a month even without my animals. And the first thing I would do if one of us lost a job would be give up my horse. 

Keeping a horse at this point is VERY selfish on your end. If I was your mother I would have kicked your *** by now.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

I'd like to know who diagnoses all these supposed 'anxiety disorders' kids nowadays are claiming to have, and use them to justify keeping a very large luxury item while being unable to afford the necessities of life. I'll lay odds the majority are self diagnosed. I know of no doctor on the planet who would recommend keeping a horse over feeding and housing a family. 

As far as adults 'being mean', get over yourself. We're not required to stroke your egos and tell you what you're doing is A-OK, when it's obvious it's based on complete self absorption and disregard for others, including your own family.

I make over $4,000 a month, but that's because I worked my way up from the ranks and paid my dues. No way in heck is some part time cosmetic sales going to provide that kind of money. 

If I couldn't pay my bills the horses would be the FIRST to go, not the last. I'd be heartbroken, but unlike the poor, anxiety ridden children on here, I know that it's nobody elses responsibility but my own to take care of myself and luxury items are NOT necessities, unlike food and shelter.

I'd NEVER take donations from food banks or churches to help me fund my selfish desires.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

One last thing. It is people like you who make me sick.

Years ago when I was single and couldn't find work, I was living on the streets. I was "couch surfing" and applied for welfare. I got turned down because I used to make to much money. I waited on a list for housing assistance for a year and still didn't get a place with housing assistance because nothing opened up. Why did nothing open up? Because they will continue to help people even when they get work they just change the amount that they cover. I also had a hard time getting food at the food bank because they were tapped out. By people who were abusing it. 

I am someone who wanted to use the system the way it was meant to be used, to get on my feet and get a job and education. I couldn't though because there was a list of people ahead of me needing it waiting while people like you used it to abuse it.


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## Reno Bay (Jul 8, 2012)

Oh I completely respect everyone's posts. If anything, you're all helping me see through the fuzz of my situation and inspiring me to work harder (even if I do give up my boy). I do thank everyone for their input. Harsh as it may be (I'm a rather sensitive person, but hey...suck it up and use it constructively?), I do realize that you're speaking in the best interest of both my family and Reno.

Pet sitting can actually be a very good business (unfortunately, as it happens, winter is the worst time to try to get clients). We are a legitimate business licensed and bonded and we have insurance. We don't take in animals, we go to peoples' houses and care for them in a familiar environment. My mother refuses to give up hope on the business and, at this point, I'm getting tired of being the fallback for all of what she needs (website coding, business management, etc). It's not necessarily something I want to do for the rest of my life, but it will do.

I will say that we are all (aside from my brother...long story) looking for other jobs, and have been consistently for months on end. I had a temp job at a warehouse from November to the middle of December until they no longer needed me. My mother had a nice setup at a consignment shop, but when the owner came back from vacation in Australia she told my mother "yeah I don't need you anymore" (she never stated that she only needed my mother while she was out of the country). The good thing about pet sitting and this new job I have is that they are both extremely flexible in hours - meaning I can pretty much revolve them around whatever other part-time/full-time job I get. Unfortunately, I'm running out of places to apply at and nobody ever calls back. I'll keep at it though.

I can agree that my priorities may be messed up. I think we can all agree that it's a tough thing to go through, though. It's extremely hard for me since I've lost everything over and over...and when things got better, BOOM. Time and time again I tried to talk to my mother about mistakes she was making, but she never listened to me...still doesn't. Even my friends can look and say "why in the world didn't she see that? It was so obvious" It's aggravating.

To whomever said that thing about selling Mary Kay being a 'side-job' (although I'm not with Mary Kay, but a similar type of company). Yes, it can be like that if you're not really into it. If you enjoy it and actually give it your all...that's what gets you the bigger money, the benefits, etc. I'm not the kind of person who gives up, and this job seems very agreeable to my taste, so I believe I can make it. It won't stop me from looking at other opportunities though.

I do appreciate all of your comments and I do think about them.


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## DimSum (Mar 28, 2012)

LadyDreamer said:


> OP, you are in a hole and the members are throwing shovels of dirt in your face. You can get mad and be buried, or use what they are throwing at you to climb out of the hole.


Sorry, but you are quite wrong. We are not shoveling dirt here or piling on, we are throwing cold water on a sleepwalker approaching the edge of a cliff in an attempt to wake her up to life's realities.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

Reno Bay said:


> Oh I completely respect everyone's posts. If anything, you're all helping me see through the fuzz of my situation and inspiring me to work harder (even if I do give up my boy). I do thank everyone for their input. Harsh as it may be (I'm a rather sensitive person, but hey...suck it up and use it constructively?), I do realize that you're speaking in the best interest of both my family and Reno.
> 
> Pet sitting can actually be a very good business (unfortunately, as it happens, winter is the worst time to try to get clients). We are a legitimate business licensed and bonded and we have insurance. We don't take in animals, we go to peoples' houses and care for them in a familiar environment. My mother refuses to give up hope on the business and, at this point, I'm getting tired of being the fallback for all of what she needs (website coding, business management, etc). It's not necessarily something I want to do for the rest of my life, but it will do.
> 
> ...


This is life. Its a hard reality to bite into. But its life.

I have had my life ripped out from under me so many times. I have had to start from scratch over and over again. Just in horses alone. I have had all my tack stolen twice. I have had a horse stolen from me(lease gone bad). I had my show horse ripped out from under me when the owner decided to sell him with no notice to me. I went to the barn to start bathing and braiding for a show the following day and I was told I am not taking him anywhere and I am not to touch him.

I have lost my home more then once. Be it a break up with a boyfriend or not being able to pay rent. I have gone through the divorce from hell where I lost EVERYTHING. My horse, my tack, my house, my furniture, my clothing and well.. you get the picture. 

I know it sucks. I know its painful. I know it feels like your soul is being ripped out of you. But sadly its all part of growing up. Some people get hit with the reality more then once in their life time. 

I apologize if my previous post was harsh. But its hard to sit back and read that someone is paying $450 a month for board when that money is needed elsewhere.


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## DimSum (Mar 28, 2012)

Reno Bay said:


> To whomever said that thing about selling Mary Kay being a 'side-job' (although I'm not with Mary Kay, but a similar type of company). Yes, it can be like that if you're not really into it. If you enjoy it and actually give it your all...that's what gets you the bigger money, the benefits, etc. I'm not the kind of person who gives up, and this job seems very agreeable to my taste, so I believe I can make it. It won't stop me from looking at other opportunities though.
> 
> I do appreciate all of your comments and I do think about them.


Please do go read the article I posted about the reality of rep selling as a business, and do go google the company you are thinking about. People aren't posting negativity here to be mean, but to save you from learning the hard way. Best of luck.


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

OP I hope you realize you have a saint of a mother for putting up with you having a horse in her desperate time of need. She more than ever needs your help. Maybe one day when you have children of your own, you'll understand the sacrifices she has, and is, making for your happiness. OR you can take this thread, look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself whats more important to you, your family, or your horse.


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## Reno Bay (Jul 8, 2012)

DimSum said:


> Sorry, but you are quite wrong. We are not shoveling dirt here or piling on, we are throwing cold water on a sleepwalker approaching the edge of a cliff in an attempt to wake her up to life's realities.


Whatever you want to call it, I am reading and thinking about everything all of you are saying. It is not falling on deaf ears.

I would lease Reno...
Only thing holding me back (besides my stubborn BO) is that only someone with a higher level of experience can ride him since he's still being re-trained to be quiet under saddle (silly young Thoroughbred). Any suggestions with that would be appreciated. If there was someone out there who didn't mind leasing a horse they could only ride under the supervision of his trainer (for the time being)...

There is a lot being thrown at me from all sides (not you guys). My mother is incomprehensible at times so she only serves to confuse the hell out of me whenever she wants me to do anything.


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## faye (Oct 13, 2010)

I understand that you think losing your horse would be the most devestating thing ever. But realy it isnt.

I earn a good wage but still rely on my parents to support my horse, however they are happy to do so and in a financial position to do so. If thery were not (and it has come close to happening a few times) then the first thing to go would be new clothes and any form of socialising. Unfortunatly the reality is that Reeco would have to go as well if it ever came to that.

As much as I love Reeco and feel that without a horse in my life i would suffer greatly, the reality is that keeping a roof over my head and that of my family comes first.

I cannot stand people who claim benefits and have a horse, my taxes are so high because of people like that who believe that they are entitled to luxury holidays but not working to get it. 

I cant afford a holiday so why should they have one! If I cant afford a horse and I am paying tax then why the hell should anyone not paying tax have a horse too.


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## Reno Bay (Jul 8, 2012)

True (about the MLMs - Mary Kay, Cutco, etc), though it never hurts to try to go far doing something you enjoy. I did say I'll still be looking for jobs elsewhere, so I do have other options. Maybe one of my friends can put a good word in for me at my local Best Buy (he works at a different location).



wetrain17 said:


> OP I hope you realize you have a saint of a mother for putting up with you having a horse in her desperate time of need. She more than ever needs your help. Maybe one day when you have children of your own, you'll understand the sacrifices she has, and is, making for your happiness. OR you can take this thread, look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself whats more important to you, your family, or your horse.


My mother is a saint. I swear. Annoying at times, but what mother doesn't get on her child's nerves...and vice versa? Before I was determined to try to make better money so I could help support my family, and I still am...I think she really nailed it into my head though since she's the first one who started saying "I won't let Carly lose the horse."

Honestly I will never have children, but I do understand what you're getting at. I know all of her sacrifices, I appreciate them, and I'm trying my hardest to take as much weight off of her as possible. I am taking you all seriously, weighing everything, thinking.


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## LadyDreamer (Jan 25, 2008)

DimSum said:


> Sorry, but you are quite wrong. We are not shoveling dirt here or piling on, we are throwing cold water on a sleepwalker approaching the edge of a cliff in an attempt to wake her up to life's realities.


The analogy is the same. Falling off a cliff or being buried alive are equally destructive. Asleep or floundering in muck are both good descriptions of the situation. You want her to wake up to reality and not be destroyed. I want her to take the harsh dirty realities being flung at her and use them to escape the situation. So, no. I am not "Wrong". Neither are you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Reno Bay (Jul 8, 2012)

faye said:


> I cannot stand people who claim benefits and have a horse, my taxes are so high because of people like that who believe that they are entitled to luxury holidays but not working to get it.
> 
> I cant afford a holiday so why should they have one! If I cant afford a horse and I am paying tax then why the hell should anyone not paying tax have a horse too.


I'm not really understanding what you mean by "benefits".

All my mother and brother do is go to a food bank once every two weeks for food that expired a month ago. The church helping them is the one they actually attend; they're not asking for things, but the people are helping anyway.

And we're trying to find work, all day, every day, whenever we're not with a client...not sitting around on our butts wallowing in things we're getting.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

Why not lease the horse as a pasture mate? And until finding that why not find the cheapest place possible for board? There ARE many options.

Maybe contact a local 4H club, there might be a kid looking for a project horse.


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## texasgal (Jul 25, 2008)

Reno .. I really appreciate that you are not getting defensive and respecting everyone's opinion. It shows a level of maturity. This is a tough crowd.

When I was your age I held onto a horse when I probably shouldn't have .. so I do understand how you feel. 

Now you know why it is financially irresponsible and why it is wrong to accept charity when you are supporting a luxury.

I hope you are able to break away from a situation that seems to only further drag you down and are able to take financial responsibility for yourself.

Life can be tough...


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## Iseul (Mar 8, 2010)

First off..I'm 18, just so we all know.
I dropped out of college and the only time I'm home is to maybe eat and to sleep.
I have two horses that I basically own, BUT they are technically leases. If I want the vet out, I pay. If I want to change their feed, I pay. If I want to put them on a supplement, I pay.

Now, I came back from college and owe loans ~$7000 and owe my mother $3100. While my mum is laid off for winters (construction job), she can afford to let me sit on the $3100 I owe her. When my student loans come in I mayy have to drop one of my leases. If so be it, then so be it.

My mum buys groceries (that are mainly for her and my brother, I don't get asked what I want), so I rarely eat from our fridge. I've basically been living out of my car (horse stuff, food/drinks, clothes, etc), but I'd drop both horses in a heartbeat if it meant I had no bed to go home to.

I camr back from college and went to careerlink and got a temp job within a week, throughout that temp job I searched for others. I wasn't looking too hard because they had another job lined up for me. The first temp came to an end and I couldn't physically do the one they had for me. I quit and got a job back where I was previously working as a temp.

I'm giving up smoking and my daily drinks so that I can afford my car insurance, gas (mother helps me since I run her errands as well), TWO horses now, and my phone bill. I worry at the end of each month that I didn't make enough money to afford my phone bill or leases.

I run my mum's errands to help her out, I donate to my brother's football fundraisers when I can, and I buy stuff for my nana so she can support her gambling habit since my pap died..

Go to a temp service and work your *** off, take whatever hours they'll give you and don't slack. Most places will hire on good temps, and most temp jobs make enough to keep you as long as the actual business will.

I work a full time job and cannot even afford $250 board for one horse. How on earth do you get to afford it?

I have no sympathy for those that sit on welfare or unemployment without giving it their all to find a job, any job. Mcdonalds is always hiring, go take IN an application and call back to see of they've looked it over a day or three later. You HAVE to call in or they won't believe you're serious about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

Reno Bay said:


> Whatever you want to call it, I am reading and thinking about everything all of you are saying. It is not falling on deaf ears.
> 
> I would lease Reno...
> Only thing holding me back (besides my stubborn BO) is that only someone with a higher level of experience can ride him since he's still being re-trained to be quiet under saddle (silly young Thoroughbred). Any suggestions with that would be appreciated. If there was someone out there who didn't mind leasing a horse they could only ride under the supervision of his trainer (for the time being)...
> ...


In reguards to the horse... 

You need to find a new, cheaper barn. Maybe rough board? You could save A LOT of money taking care of your own animals instead of someone else's! It only takes a whopping hour a day, max, if your going to feed, clean and water for 2 horses. 

It would be a BLESSING for someone to come lease your horse! I wouldn't be so picky about them riding with your horses trainer (how the heck do you afford board + training is beyond me). If you want him ridden a specific way get out there and show them. If someone gave you a BMW would you refuse to take it because of the color? 

You can also look into retirement facilities to put him to pasture for a while. It's usually cheap, they don't get messed with much but it better then selling. 

Can you lease him to a lesson program? 

I'd get your situation under control before if becomes worse and your forced to sell/get rid of him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

faye said:


> my taxes are so high because of people like that who believe that they are entitled to luxury holidays but not working to get it.


Your taxes are high because the liberal democrats want votes from the people who draw the benefits. 

I've read through the posts and agree with a lot of them but I don't think we need to be so negative in others.

Romney made the point using the 47% number.

We have become a country where it's almost as easy to sit and do nothing as to work a menial job. If you figure out the system and can draw then why not? This isn't a problems with Reno Bay, but a problem with the system.

Heck, the country is 16 trillion in debt already, and the quicker we go bankrupt the quicker we'll make the necessary changes.

Personally, Reno, if I were you I'd draw every nickel I could. We, the tax payers, are the real chumps.


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## texasgal (Jul 25, 2008)

gunslinger .. faye's taxes are higher because she lives in the uk ...


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## themacpack (Jul 16, 2009)

As someone who works for a program meant to assist families in need, I find it apalling that you are abusing your local system in order to support a luxury/hobby/etc, which is what your horse is. 
When times are tight, NEEDS are what matter - having a horse is NOT a need. In times of need, luxuries/wants are the first thing you cut from your expenses so that you can take what resources you have and meet your NEEDS as much as possible BEFORE you seek assistance from outside sources.
I find it very sad that you see nothing wrong with what you are doing.


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## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

Reno Bay said:


> Oh I completely respect everyone's posts. If anything, you're all helping me see through the fuzz of my situation and inspiring me to work harder (even if I do give up my boy). I do thank everyone for their input. Harsh as it may be (I'm a rather sensitive person, but hey...suck it up and use it constructively?), I do realize that you're speaking in the best interest of both my family and Reno.
> 
> Pet sitting can actually be a very good business (unfortunately, as it happens, winter is the worst time to try to get clients). We are a legitimate business licensed and bonded and we have insurance. We don't take in animals, we go to peoples' houses and care for them in a familiar environment. My mother refuses to give up hope on the business and, at this point, I'm getting tired of being the fallback for all of what she needs (website coding, business management, etc). It's not necessarily something I want to do for the rest of my life, but it will do.
> 
> ...


I appreciate that you have a good attitude about our comments, albeit harsh comments. 

I can understand the want and the desire to make your small business work. But, it is true that most small business owners have to have a separate job elsewhere to pay the bills until their small business takes off and supports itself. 

Now as far as your job searching, maybe we can be of some help. 

When you pick up the application, are you dressed as if you were there for an interview? You should. Even if you are just dashing into the business for 30 seconds to get an application, you should look like you are about to be interviewed. And act as such. The staff is watchiing you and the employer will ask them for their opinion of you. 

When you submit your resume, have you gone and purchased nice fancy resume paper? You should. It makes you stand out from everyone else who doesn't. And a resume should always only be one page. Absolutely no more than one page. You have about 3 seconds to grab an employer's attention (research tells us) so you've got to grab that attention with short and concise organization. 1) Start with skills at the top of the page. Using 4 or 5 bullet points, list power words and power phrases that describe you and your skills. 2) List your education, including degrees held (including high school) and where/when they were attained 3) List your previous job experience, starting with the most current. You only have to list the previous 5 years, technically. And always describe each job with the dates you worked there, your responsibilities for the job, and the skills you learned or possesed. 4) If you have room, add any "additional experience" that would be relevant to the position or any professional training. 5) Finish by either listing references (please actually ask the person beforehand so they know you listed them) or you can list "references available upon request."

You should also always have a cover letter with your resume. And state in that cover letter than YOU will contact them in one week. Don't sit around and wait for them to call. _You call them. _There should be 3 paragraphs in your cover letter. 1) Describing what job your are applying for, which is the purpose of the cover letter. 2) Describing how you are qualified for the job and what special traits you have. 3) Close the letter by thanking them for their time, and that you look forward to hearing from them, and that you will contact them in 1 week to follow up. 

When you drop off your application, again, dress as if you were there for an interview. The staff is watching and judging you, and they will pass that onto the employer. 

Check the internet on yourself. (Because your employer is going to.) Does your Facebook page have photos of your drinking and partying? If so, you might want to clean those up. Is there any bad reports of you on the internet? If so, try to clean those up. Employers will search the internet with your name. Make sure nothing bad comes up anywhere, becuase it can hurt your call for an interview. 

If you get an interview, be at least 15 minutes early. Do not bring anyone with you. Do not use your cell phone while you are there. Have a firm handshake and look the employer directly in the eye. Do not sit down until they invite you to. Sit up proud and tall in your seat. Feel free to let your personality shine through, while answering the questiosn honestely that they ask you. When the interview is over, it is always fair to ask when you will get a response by. (So if they do not call, you can call them. )



And I could keep rambling ..... but I gotta go. Maybe I actually said something useful in there!!!


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## themacpack (Jul 16, 2009)

To add on the interview tips
If you are offered a drink, take it - this becomes a handy tool if you find yourself faced with a question to which you don't have an instant answer...simply take a sip of the drink and use that few seconds as a time to work through exactly what you want to say as your response to the question. Also, just the action of picking up the glass and taking a drink of something can help settle/focus your mind if you find you are in a panicky state or have gone blank.
DON'T bullsh*t your way through something - they will know. If you do succeed in convincing them that you know something you don't, have a skill that you don't, etc then you have only left yourself in a huge predicament as they will expect you to be able to do whatever it is you claimed you can do. As a hiring manager, I will respect you a lot more if you are upfront and honest about what you don't know and it won't necessarily keep me from hiring you if the rest of the package (you) shows promise and the ability to be taught what it is I need you to know.


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## Reno Bay (Jul 8, 2012)

It's hard keeping up with everyone between clients...guess I'll start working my way down the list...



NBEventer said:


> Why not lease the horse as a pasture mate? And until finding that why not find the cheapest place possible for board? There ARE many options.
> 
> Maybe contact a local 4H club, there might be a kid looking for a project horse.


Leasing as a pasture mate may work, as he's very friendly towards pretty much every horse. My only qualm would be his anxiety at being away from his "girls", but I'm sure he'd get over it quickly with the new buddy/buddies. He is currently boarded one state up. I would love to keep him there if I could, since they're all lovely people, but it is expensive. I will look around in the general area up there and locally for cheaper options until I really get on my feet (all of this assuming I do keep him in the long run). I'm sure my current BO will understand since she is aware of our situation.

I used to go to a 4H club years ago when I lived in a different area of this state. It was relatively nearby here. Hm...I could advertise a lease on...what was that local site (I found some volunteer jobs years ago when I wasn't able to afford lessons and just worked to ride)...VirginiaEquestrian or something like that.



texasgal said:


> Reno .. I really appreciate that you are not getting defensive and respecting everyone's opinion. It shows a level of maturity. This is a tough crowd.
> 
> When I was your age I held onto a horse when I probably shouldn't have .. so I do understand how you feel.
> 
> ...


Getting defensive and rude wouldn't help anybody at all, there is no use for it. I'm sure if the positions were switched I may have the same opinion as many of you. Being the one in the situation...it's almost dizzying. I can only hope and try for the best case scenario, while preparing for the worst. A horse is a luxury, and he is one I worked my *** off to acquire. If I can turn things around, I'd be very happy...



Iseul said:


> Go to a temp service and work your *** off, take whatever hours they'll give you and don't slack. Most places will hire on good temps, and most temp jobs make enough to keep you as long as the actual business will.
> 
> I work a full time job and cannot even afford $250 board for one horse. How on earth do you get to afford it?
> 
> ...


Thank you for the advice. I will look around at temps. I don't slack off.

On the subject of your last paragraph. We do not get welfare or unemployment benefits at all. Like I said before, all we do is go to the food bank twice a month...pretty much the only help we get from the church at all is trying to find renters and moral support, which is still help so it's appreciated.

And see? That's where I've always been confused. I was always told to wait until THEY called ME or else I would seem too desperate. Good to know that I was always misled until now O___O Goodness gracious.



SlideStop said:


> In reguards to the horse...
> 
> You need to find a new, cheaper barn. Maybe rough board? You could save A LOT of money taking care of your own animals instead of someone else's! It only takes a whopping hour a day, max, if your going to feed, clean and water for 2 horses.
> 
> ...


Will try, of course. I do go to where he's at twice a week to take care of him and the other 12 horses there. It would free up a lot of time if I could take him elsewhere, even temporarily, and work off most of his board.

I don't pay for the training...that's what the work is for. I never even really asked for training, but considering I wouldn't be able to ride him otherwise...that's what I work for at this point. BO says she doesn't want to put a hold on it or he'll backslide, but that may be necessary for now. I'm not personally being picky about it, it's just that he is very green and in training (I don't even ride him). If someone has experience to ride a green horse, it's fine by me, is all I'm saying.

The lesson program wouldn't work due to the reason above (green as grass), but the retirement facility might work if I can find one. Thank you.



gunslinger said:


> We have become a country where it's almost as easy to sit and do nothing as to work a menial job. If you figure out the system and can draw then why not? This isn't a problems with Reno Bay, but a problem with the system.
> 
> Heck, the country is 16 trillion in debt already, and the quicker we go bankrupt the quicker we'll make the necessary changes.
> 
> Personally, Reno, if I were you I'd draw every nickel I could. We, the tax payers, are the real chumps.


I don't like taking advantage of people. What my family, excluding me, does I have no say in. They will do it whether I go with them or go my own way. In my area, we wouldn't even be able to get welfare even if we didn't have any animals...I'd have to go to a different _county_.



themacpack said:


> As someone who works for a program meant to assist families in need, I find it apalling that you are abusing your local system in order to support a luxury/hobby/etc, which is what your horse is.
> When times are tight, NEEDS are what matter - having a horse is NOT a need. In times of need, luxuries/wants are the first thing you cut from your expenses so that you can take what resources you have and meet your NEEDS as much as possible BEFORE you seek assistance from outside sources.
> I find it very sad that you see nothing wrong with what you are doing.


Again I am confused. Local system? I've repeated that all my mother and brother get are a couple bags of expired donated food twice a month. The help from the church they go to has only been moral support and help trying to find jobs and people to rent the two available rooms we have.

I cannot quote the long post, forgive me. Thank you for all the advice. I'll be sure to read over it a few times.



themacpack said:


> To add on the interview tips
> If you are offered a drink, take it - this becomes a handy tool if you find yourself faced with a question to which you don't have an instant answer...simply take a sip of the drink and use that few seconds as a time to work through exactly what you want to say as your response to the question. Also, just the action of picking up the glass and taking a drink of something can help settle/focus your mind if you find you are in a panicky state or have gone blank.
> DON'T bullsh*t your way through something - they will know. If you do succeed in convincing them that you know something you don't, have a skill that you don't, etc then you have only left yourself in a huge predicament as they will expect you to be able to do whatever it is you claimed you can do. As a hiring manager, I will respect you a lot more if you are upfront and honest about what you don't know and it won't necessarily keep me from hiring you if the rest of the package (you) shows promise and the ability to be taught what it is I need you to know.


I don't BS around things. If I don't know something, I'm honest about it. If I have certain abilities, I let them know. One good thing is that I am a very quick learner. When I worked at Subway back when I lived up where Reno is, I first knew nothing about working at a food place. In less than a week I was receiving compliments from customers about the way I handled their food and the taste (which I found odd since it was the same as every other sub...I thought), working both registers (Subway and the attached smoothie joint), plus all the other stuff that goes along with it (cleaning, refilling containers, etc). The only time I didn't go to work and called in sick was when I was contagious. I even went in when I threw my back out and when I had a severe kidney infection...standing and working for eight straight hours or more. I must be crazy.

Thank you.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

Reno you are being very cool headed and mature about this. You got hit with some really hard attacks. Kudos to you. I know how hard it was to read, as I said I have been in your position. It is not an easy position to be in, especially when you are so attached to your horse. There have been many times where my horse was the only thing that kept me going. Even to this day she is my baby girl and honestly, the thought of leaving her again(I had to give her up years ago and was reunited with her last year) rips me apart. We have a very strong bond and can't imagine life without her. However I also know that life throws you curvballs and keeping a horse when I can't afford to feed myself is just not an option. If I can't take care of myself, how can I take care of my horse?

You don't need to make a move this very second. But one in the very near future would be best for everyone including your horse. And just because you have to leave your barn now, does not mean you can not go back when finances are sorted out. Sometimes a temp move is needed for the bank account. When my old guy went lame and needed surgery I moved him from the $1200 a month all inclusive super fancy barn to the $200 a month DIY barn that required my horse living outside. My horse who had NEVER lived in an unheated barn. I felt bad. But he adjusted. 

Yes your boy will wonder whats up with moving away from his girls, but if he is friendly he will adjust in a heart beat. It wont bother him at all I promise you. 

Again kudos for recieving the hard hits as well as you did.


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## Reno Bay (Jul 8, 2012)

Noting: I'm looking on the VirginiaEquestrian website I mentioned. I have already found a few possibilities - $250 board about 30 minutes away, reduced board for chores in the same area as the first, $200 board 17 minutes away. I'm thinking about posting something myself there...tentatively.


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

Reno, I see several places on craigslist that are $100 for rough/semi board. If he is a nice quiet horse a trainer may find it worth their while to put some miles on him and turn him into a lesson horse.. they also may be able to match him up with a suitable leaser.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## cmarie (Dec 19, 2011)

Reno try to find a job that you get tips, waiting tables, bus person, cocktail waitress. something like that, that way you will always eat because most jobs like that give you a free meal while you are working, and you will always have cash in your pocket maybe not much but at least some.

Good luck to you and your family.


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## gypsygirl (Oct 15, 2009)

cmarie said:


> Reno try to find a job that you get tips, waiting tables, bus person, cocktail waitress. something like that, that way you will always eat because most jobs like that give you a free meal while you are working, and you will always have cash in your pocket maybe not much but at least some.
> 
> Good luck to you and your family.


i agree, i work at jimmy johns and we get lots of food, including free meals and free bread at the end of the night. i am also tipped [delivery driver] and i come home with anywhere from 30-100 in cash. just depending on what time/hours i work. i work 20hrs/ week and make the same amount of money that i did where i used to work for $9/hr at 40hrs/ week.


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## Sharpie (May 24, 2009)

My hat's off to you for trying to make everything work and actually reading what people are posting. While you're right that getting defensive won't help anything, it can still be very tough not to get like that when criticism rolls in. I love the dirt analogy- dead on IMO.

DO CALL places! Every time you walk into someplace, be dressed and ready for an interview. I was once hired in 5 minutes because I walked in and asked for an app, but a manager happened to be covering the front. We chatted briefly, then he told me he was the manager and he liked me and would probably hire me, just had to clear it with the owner. EVERY time you talk to someone, it may be that that person is your opportunity. If you've dropped off your resume and application, call back about 7-10 days later to check in. At least then, if they say no, you can cross them off the list.

I agree with that it's hard to swallow keeping a huge luxury like a horse in tough times. You cannot spend $450 on an animal's feed and care if your family can't afford their own food. That is wrong. Now, if you can find someplace where he can live out in a field or pasture for $100/month, even if it does set back his training, that's $350 more towards your necessities and something you might be able to work around, especially if you can get a real job. Either give the horse away or find a cheaper way to keep him. 

Heck, even shipping him off to someone's back 400 in the country for a few months would work. Could you see him? Maybe not, but you'd still have him and be able to bring him back when you're financially able to do so again. There's probably some kind-hearted horse person in your local community who would be willing to let you kick him out in their field in exchange for a day or two labor fixing fences or moving hay every month or so.


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## Palomine (Oct 30, 2010)

I see this all the time...and sadly with people that are currently shopping for 4 more horses, but can't feed themselves AND think they are just fine with feeding 8 horses while the rest of us hit a job. And 2 horses have died or sustained serious injuries but of course they can't afford a vet.

On everything they can get, including SSI, man is 42 and when trying to get on it? Couldn't get out of recliner...now? Digging ditches, dragging up barrels to sell, running fence, climbing on frig to fix fans....but he is disabled? Please.

And woman gripes all the time about "can't afford bottle of bleach, can't afford to buy clothing for 4 kids, can't afford bottle of bleach, why do they have to charge for extra milk for free lunch kids".

Now she is waiting for tax refund, which is EIC...because she is claiming she is "self employed" because she strips wires for copper, and hauls trash/junk to dump. Really? She hasn't worked for over 5 years, from what she has said elsewhere....but "works" so can get EIC?

Our tax dollars at work, and she is tip of iceberg.

No one should show up at a food bank who is taking care of a horse, especially one that costs that to board. 

And if you were really desperate, you would already have several jobs.


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## Reno Bay (Jul 8, 2012)

Palomine said:


> I see this all the time...and sadly with people that are currently shopping for 4 more horses, but can't feed themselves AND think they are just fine with feeding 8 horses while the rest of us hit a job. And 2 horses have died or sustained serious injuries but of course they can't afford a vet.
> 
> On everything they can get, including SSI, man is 42 and when trying to get on it? Couldn't get out of recliner...now? Digging ditches, dragging up barrels to sell, running fence, climbing on frig to fix fans....but he is disabled? Please.
> 
> ...


I'm not necessarily complaining about the money issues themselves. During the time I was temp working at the warehouse I also had jobs at two pet sitting companies (our own and the one I currently work for) and was working as a secretary/receptionist for an optometrist. Temp job ran out, secretary job didn't pay much at all, got more pet sitting clients.

I've brought all this up to my mother and she likes the idea of finding someplace closer and cheaper to keep him. I'll be looking hard for a place as well as continuing my job search and we'll visit these facilities before bringing anything up to my current BO. I think she'll understand, though she's one of those people where you can't really tell how they'll respond to something. Even if it's a temporary move until we're on our feet, I think she'll understand.

You'd be really surprised sometimes. Pasture board in my area tends to cost more than stall board O_O makes no sense. I found a $100 DIY place, but that's 3 hours away, which wouldn't be efficient considering gas and vehicle wear/tear. I shall continue looking and even place my own advertisement. Something will come up.

I tend not to trust Craigslist, but it's worth a shot as well. At least I can actually go to these places and feel it out before just shipping off my horse to heaven knows where. Maybe at one of those $200/month places I can offer barn chores for reduced board if they'll allow that.


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## fkonidaris (Jan 26, 2012)

Wow...okay. I've wanted a horse my entire life...it's all I ever thought about, dreamed about and wanted.

Well, OP I've lived in poverty before, I know what it's like to struggle. I know what it's like to be on welfare and have food stamps and go to the food banks to try to get by. I was married with a child at the age of 19. My now ex husband made (and still makes) minimum wage. I ate three times a week on M/W/F at college when my friend gave me her extra meal plan tickets. The food in the house went to my daughter. Not in a million years would I have considered owning or trying to keep a horse or any other pet when I couldn't even afford to support myself. 

I put myself through college full time with a child and worked part time while doing it. I did end up getting divorced (ex cheated). I collect no alimony and no child support. I have full custody of my daughter and support her fully on my own. I got my first horse when I was 28 and it was only after I had all my bills paid off, had six months worth of emergency savings set aside in the bank, and then started looking and got my first horse. The six months was six full months worth of money that could support my daughter and myself fully in case of any kind of emergency or loss of job or worse.

It was not easy, and it's not meant to be easy, but I tell you what. All that patience and hard work has paid off and I'm living MY dream. Sell your horse for now. *Take care of yourself and your family. As hard as it can be and as much as it hurts, do the right thing and set your priorities straight. Learn from this experience and use it to make yourself a better person and give yourself a better future! *


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## Copperhead (Jun 27, 2012)

I run Meals on Wheels for my area which is basically focused off of elderly shut-ins who can't shop for themselves. Before I came, we had clients who were cutting their own grass, going out for a round of golf, and a man who frequently wouldn't answer the door during delivery hours because he was in bed with a hangover. That last man wasn't even paying for his meals but had enough to party hardy. I cut them off. We are a volunteer run organization and I will *not* have my clients take advantage of my volunteer's kindness.

Excuse me, but you should *not* have a horse. Your family is bumming off of other people's kindness (food banks, etc) while your money is going into a luxury. That is taking advantage of the system and is so incredibly rude it takes my breath away. If I was running the food bank, you'd have to go somewhere else because I would not tolerate that.

Selling your horse will not only free you up financially, but it will also give you a hunk of money (from the sale) to better your life and pay off past due bills. 

Pet sitting and selling make-up is not a reliable source of income. You will get orders "as needed". People won't order from you every day. People don't need their animals sat every day. You won't make money every day. You need an everyday paying job that involves a steady paycheck and taxes. 

Pet sitting and selling make-up will not give you a living. You are hardly living as it is. 

You want your horse? Work off board. If you can't work off board, get rid of it. You shouldn't be spending another dime on that animal while you are begging for food from a charity.

Honest to god. I need to stop this post before I start getting rude.


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## gogaited (Oct 8, 2012)

"No one's perfect, so you are in no place to judge anyone."
Taxpayers have had their fill of being forced to pay for people that WON'T prioritize and won't work for a living. I'm past caring about people that won't stop having kids, won't get and keep a job, make stupid decisions over and over again. When those people (via the **** government) get their greedy, grasping hands out of my wallet, then I will stop judging.


​


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## PurpleMonkeyWrench (Jun 12, 2012)

Corazon Lock said:


> I can see both sides here.
> 
> Yeah, it is kind of silly to be accepting charity stuff if your money goes to your horse when it could be going to food so other people could benefit from that charity.
> 
> ...


Suffering form anxiety does not mean you need a **** horse....I suffer from anxiety, hell I was in a state mental institution for 6 months!!! Horses helped greatly with my mental issues, but I never owned one BECAUSE I CAN NOT AFFORD ONE. people need to quit WHINING and grow UP! Oh and it's not called bullying, it's called me expressing my disgust and disbelief on a PUBLIC FORUM.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

Umm... last I checked this was not a political thread. Plus the OP said she is looking to lease the horse out or move it somewhere cheaper while she job hunts. 

She has admitted she has now seen the error in her ways. So lets not get into politics here. Lets focus on continuing to help the OP with her situation as she has accepted the guidance and ideas from others.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Reno Bay (Jul 8, 2012)

Liberal? Sorry, but I don't follow any sort of politics at all...so I'm ignorant of word definitions - however, I do understand what you're all getting at.

Some of you seem to think that we're sitting on our asses doing absolutely nothing while we use peoples' money and food for ourselves and extorting money from good people to pay for a horse. That is false. We are constantly out there searching for better jobs between and after clients. Honestly, the food bank and church have nothing to do with _me_. _I_ don't touch anything my mother or brother receive. _I_ support my animal. I now have multiple jobs and searching for more, which will hopefully help me both support my family and potentially my horse *if, in fact, I do keep him.*

Now that that's cleared up.

We have a potential renter coming to look at the room this evening. If nothing works out, a woman who works at the dog groomer down the street just bought an apartment in Lovettsville and she's renting out a room (she knows my mother and offered to rent to us). Turns out one of the cheaper boarding facilities is also in Lovettsville and I have gotten a reply from the stable owner already. Another plus is there are a lot of people in that community that are looking for pet sitters as well...so that's a potential step-up x3.


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## Reno Bay (Jul 8, 2012)

Oh, as a simple clarification to some people, just for the interest...

If you work for an established pet sitting company, you only make maybe 50% of what the animals' owners are paying. If you own a pet sitting company and do the work yourself, you make 100% of what the owners are paying. Many people would be surprised at how many people want daily dog visits. There are currently two families that I do daily visits for (one of those dogs I visit twice daily). I will elaborate:

(with a daily client, obviously)
Working for a company:
- company charges $16 per visit, for five visits a week.
- you, as an employee, make 50%/$8 per visit ($160/month).

Owning a company:
- company charges $16 per visit, for five visits a week.
- you make 100%/$16 per visit ($320/month).

Realistically, no, not every pet owner will have you taking care of their animals every day. Most people hire a pet sitter for at least two-three days a week. You can, however, build up enough of a client base that you can have multiple clients per day, every weekday. The hard part is building that client base, especially when you have some competition around.

For example, you have only four clients. Each of those dogs you visit three days a week ($18 per visit...tiered pricing). That's $864 right there. With only four, three-day-per-week clients (which is the average that people hire a sitter for). It can be ridiculously good money if you get good footing in your community. Still good to have another stable job in the meantime.


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## horsecrazygirl (Apr 23, 2012)

OP i am glad you are taking the all of this positively. There was a few times were i was half expecting you to blow up but you didn't. I hope you find somewhere cheaper to board your horse. But just as a thought, you probably don't need this anyway either, but if your horse was drowning and your family was drowning, who would you save first? even if your mother is yelling" save the horse". Just some thing to think about...


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## ponyboy (Jul 24, 2008)

I don't think much needs to be added here but holy Hannah! I must be too responsible for my own good. I've never had a horse. I had a dog until three months ago and I desperately want another one, but I'm not getting one because my job is very unsecure and I can't work from home anymore, so the dog would be alone all day. It sucks because I love dogs so much but that's life. A horse is forever out of reach for me – at this point in my life I would have to win the lottery to make *that* happen, but again, that's life. I'll consider myself lucky if I ever get to ride on a regular basis again.

It doesn't matter if you're paying all your horse's expenses if you're relying on charity to feed yourself. There are other people who don't have any luxuries who need that food.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

*sigh*

I know a lot of us went on the attack earlier in the thread. I have apologized to the OP in pm and on the forum. She has been very receptive to peoples suggestions. I think we have moved past the "stop being selfish" part and are on to the "lets help her fix it" phase.

Leave the politics at the door.


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## Kelli (Mar 13, 2012)

Hi OP, I haven't commented on a thread in a long time, but I thought I might have something to contribute to this discussion. In September, my husband lost his job. Lets just say he was the primary bread winner in our family. We have 2 young boys that are involved in every sport and activity under the sun and I had been leasing a beautiful horse that I intended to purchase on my birthday in October. Needless to say, my husband is STILL unemployed, but has many fantastic opportunities that hopefully will work out. The first thing that went was my dear Monty and all of our riding lessons. I was spending around 700 a month on lessons and the lease. The next thing to go was our country club membership......before there are any silly comments about country clubs, I have been a member of this club for nearly 30 years. I started playing tennis there as a child and they even sponsored me to go to nationals as a junior. The members are like family, some of them even are my family. I have even worked there as a tennis professional, so that was even harder to cut than the horse. It was also slightly humiliating to have to get rid of these things, to admit that my life wasn't going so well at the moment. 

It turns out that many of the successful people I know have all been in that position. They said that sometimes bad things happen and we have to hit the brakes on the good life and take care of priorities.

Thankfully, we have been pretty good planners, and don't have to cut any of the boys things, but the husband and I don't really have any extra curricular activities going on at the moment. I was also lucky that Monty's owners are going to hang on to him a while to see if I will be able to purchase him in May (I hope I hope I hope). I plan on having a HUGE Monty fund when Kip gets a job, and save up all my extra pennies in case something like this happens again.

I haven't been on here since that happened, partly because this forum reminds me of what I don't currently have and partly because it sucks facing people and telling them that you lost your horse and cant afford lessons and anything else that goes with the territory. If you need to sell your horse, it will be ok. Even though you love him to pieces, it may need to be what you need to do right now. Obviously, I chose my children over my horse and it wasn't really tough for me to make that choice.

If you can, find someone to lease him and count your blessings and get a job and get yourself a little emergency fund going so when the rough patches hit, you'll be able to sail on through.

Good luck, and I hope you are able to find a great job. Also, if you are thinking about doing the Arbonne (make up company like Avon and Mary Kay) thing, I did that and their products are great and I know people that have made tons of money, unfortunately I was one of the several thousand that didn't. I ended up spending a fortune and the highest check I got was for $103 (at least I have really nice skin now....lol). Be careful if they want you to invest, its just too hard to convince people to part with their money right now.


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## horsecrazygirl (Apr 23, 2012)

wow...


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## SouthernTrails (Dec 19, 2008)

.

While this is not a political thread, people have the right to voice opinions.

But only in a civil manner.

.


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## oobiedoo (Apr 28, 2012)

Boy I'm glad I never mentioned on here that I got laid off this past year and I have my horse and a small pony, dogs and cats. I am getting unemployment as of January this year and make no apologies for it. I'm almost 60 and have worked full time since before I was 18, got a degree in chemistry while working full time to support myself and my daughter. The company I worked for was sold and the laboratory I worked in closed and the work sent to another state where I guess they could hire people cheaper.I did get a severence pkg so that delayed drawing unemployment but I've paid my share of taxes, social security tax and all and I'm not gonna feel bad about taking a benefit I've paid for all these years. Finding another job at 60 is not easy, I was hoping to continue working there another 2-3 yrs and then take early retirement, but there goes the best laid plans of mice and men.
My daughter helps me now, I don't get any welfare of any kind and as long as I can feed them my animals stay.I've had a problem with my vision for over a year now, been seeing a retinal specialist for the last year it does affect my ability to do the work I've been doing and if that keeps me from getting another job then I'll try for disability Social security and most of the people that see me out anywhere will think I don't need it but they don't live with this. Glasses wont fix it, even with the strongest reading glasses it takes like crazy concentration to read average size books and paperwork and straight lines are wavy and up and down. I don't drive anywhere I don't know the roads anymore.
Just saying you never know what another persons life is like. Now do I tell prospective employers I can't see worth a toot or if they don't do an eye exam just take the job and see how it goes?


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## PurpleMonkeyWrench (Jun 12, 2012)

oobiedoo said:


> Boy I'm glad I never mentioned on here that I got laid off this past year and I have my horse and a small pony, dogs and cats. I am getting unemployment as of January this year and make no apologies for it. I'm almost 60 and have worked full time since before I was 18, got a degree in chemistry while working full time to support myself and my daughter. The company I worked for was sold and the laboratory I worked in closed and the work sent to another state where I guess they could hire people cheaper.I did get a severence pkg so that delayed drawing unemployment but I've paid my share of taxes, social security tax and all and I'm not gonna feel bad about taking a benefit I've paid for all these years. Finding another job at 60 is not easy, I was hoping to continue working there another 2-3 yrs and then take early retirement, but there goes the best laid plans of mice and men.
> My daughter helps me now, I don't get any welfare of any kind and as long as I can feed them my animals stay.I've had a problem with my vision for over a year now, been seeing a retinal specialist for the last year it does affect my ability to do the work I've been doing and if that keeps me from getting another job then I'll try for disability Social security and most of the people that see me out anywhere will think I don't need it but they don't live with this. Glasses wont fix it, even with the strongest reading glasses it takes like crazy concentration to read average size books and paperwork and straight lines are wavy and up and down. I don't drive anywhere I don't know the roads anymore.
> Just saying you never know what another persons life is like. Now do I tell prospective employers I can't see worth a toot or if they don't do an eye exam just take the job and see how it goes?


YOU have EARNED your unemployment. Enough said there.


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## Prinella (Jul 12, 2011)

OP at 24 a uni student with 2 horses i work 30 odd hours a week to afford those horses. I've been with my boyfriend for over 4 years and refuse to move in with him until i've finished uni and have a decent salary because I don't think my horses should be his problem!

What I don't get is how your horse should be supported via charity. I even disagree in most cases with horses being supported by benefits. (most cases)


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

Reno, another question... What do you plan on doing with your life? Pet sitting and selling make up will help you survive, and survive only. I work two jobs and have a large number of people I pet sit for. I too can afford a horse right now but I have to forgo on it. I'm putting myself through nursing school so I can comfortably have my family and my horses hopefully on my own small farm. Yes, I've dreamed of the moment when I have a horse to call mine, not "mine". But realistically, in the long run, I have to put wants, no matter how tempting, aside for needs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

Reno, another question... What do you plan on doing with your life? Pet sitting and selling make up will help you survive, and survive only. I work two jobs and have a large number of people I pet sit for. I too can afford a horse right now but I have to forgo on it. I'm putting myself through nursing school so I can comfortably have my family and my horses hopefully on my own small farm. Yes, I've dreamed of the moment when I have a horse to call mine, not "mine". But realistically, in the long run, I have to put wants, no matter how tempting, aside for needs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Copperhead (Jun 27, 2012)

oobiedoo said:


> Boy I'm glad I never mentioned on here that I got laid off this past year and I have my horse and a small pony, dogs and cats. I am getting unemployment as of January this year and make no apologies for it. I'm almost 60 and have worked full time since before I was 18, got a degree in chemistry while working full time to support myself and my daughter. The company I worked for was sold and the laboratory I worked in closed and the work sent to another state where I guess they could hire people cheaper.I did get a severence pkg so that delayed drawing unemployment but I've paid my share of taxes, social security tax and all and I'm not gonna feel bad about taking a benefit I've paid for all these years. Finding another job at 60 is not easy, I was hoping to continue working there another 2-3 yrs and then take early retirement, but there goes the best laid plans of mice and men.
> My daughter helps me now, I don't get any welfare of any kind and as long as I can feed them my animals stay.I've had a problem with my vision for over a year now, been seeing a retinal specialist for the last year it does affect my ability to do the work I've been doing and if that keeps me from getting another job then I'll try for disability Social security and most of the people that see me out anywhere will think I don't need it but they don't live with this. Glasses wont fix it, even with the strongest reading glasses it takes like crazy concentration to read average size books and paperwork and straight lines are wavy and up and down. I don't drive anywhere I don't know the roads anymore.
> Just saying you never know what another persons life is like. Now do I tell prospective employers I can't see worth a toot or if they don't do an eye exam just take the job and see how it goes?


Don't group yourself with the OP. You are on an entirely different area on the spectrum.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Still, I think Oobiedoo is bringing this up to remind us not to judge if we've never been there ourselves.


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## PurpleMonkeyWrench (Jun 12, 2012)

tinyliny said:


> Still, I think Oobiedoo is bringing this up to remind us not to judge if we've never been there ourselves.


I have been right where the OP is and have been faced with the same situation. Only difference is I never received financial help or lived above my means.


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## Kelli (Mar 13, 2012)

Purple, I like what you just said about living above your means. My husband and I worked very hard and lived on rice and beans to get out of debt, save up some money and my splurge was my horses, I waited my entire life for it. His splurge was a big hunting lease, which we also cut loose. Honestly, we probably could squeeze by and keep the horse and the club if I wanted to use credit cards or take lessons and activities from my kids, but I couldn't live that way, too stressful living month to month and praying I could cover all of it. It is going to be one sweet long awaited ride when my husband gets a new job and I get back in the saddle!

Things are always sooo much more fun when you don't have that burden of how you are going to pay for it hanging over your head!


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## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

In reply to the responses I got to my post...

SpeedRacer, ya know, anxiety is a very common medical problem these days. And just so you know, I have been diagnosed. As well as many other people. But I get that comment a lot, thanks! 

I still don't think people need to judge. You know, it's not great when people take advantage of the government, but the government could do a lot to prevent that. 

As far as sugarcoating, no, I'd just appreciate it if people would be polite to others. You catch more flies with honey, you know. Everyone is so eager to attack someone these days. And we wonder what is wrong with the world...


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## PurpleMonkeyWrench (Jun 12, 2012)

Corazon Lock said:


> In reply to the responses I got to my post...
> 
> SpeedRacer, ya know, anxiety is a very common medical problem these days. And just so you know, I have been diagnosed. As well as many other people. But I get that comment a lot, thanks!
> 
> ...


wonder what is wrong with the world? LOL don't you see whats wrong with the world? Everyone is so reliant on taking handouts from the government and nothing will change that as long as liberals are in office.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

PurpleMonkeyWrench said:


> wonder what is wrong with the world? LOL don't you see whats wrong with the world? Everyone is so reliant on taking handouts from the government and nothing will change that as long as liberals are in office.


 
well that's nice to know. I mean that these issues can be so easily solved just by getting rid of every liberal in office.


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## Allison Finch (Oct 21, 2009)

Folks, we cleaned all the politics out of this thread. If you want to talk politics, there is a forum for that...and that is not here. We did a lot of work making this thread constructive and on topic. 

If you continue with the political nastiness, you do it at your own risk...if you catch my drift.


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## PurpleMonkeyWrench (Jun 12, 2012)

tinyliny said:


> well that's nice to know. I mean that these issues can be so easily solved just by getting rid of every liberal in office.


I didnt say it would be solved i said nothing will change in that department as long as they are in office.


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## Allison Finch (Oct 21, 2009)

Please refer to the post above yours!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Of course, you are right Allison. My bad.


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## PurpleMonkeyWrench (Jun 12, 2012)

Allison Finch said:


> Please refer to the post above yours!


please know that we were posting at the same time. I have seen your post AND your pm. thanks.


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## existentialpony (Dec 4, 2012)

I only made it to page seven of this thread, but... :lol:

I just wanted to put in my few cents. I am one of those girls who also grew up as the older sister in a house with 2 other brothers, and only one paycheck coming in from my family's small business. My everything was horses, and yet the only horse interaction I had was when I would bike around the block to the local farms and see if I could shovel manure in exchange for grooming the horses (yup) or occasionally getting up on one and being led around. Other than that, I relied on family friends letting me visit or ride their horses. I remember for my bat mitzvah, my parents bought me a set of blue grooming brushes and a helmet and I thought it was the most amazing gift of all time! I didn't get to ride consistently until college, and even then my school work had to be the priority and I didn't even ride my senior year.

I'm finishing up my PhD now making a stipend, married, and buying my first horse this year was like taking a deep breath at the top of Mount Everest.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't feel like selling your horse will be giving up. Your passion is what you need to hold on to; in the face of adversity, all you have is your will and your passion... and your loved ones. Take care of your family; horses will always be there, and when you come back to horse ownership, it will feel empowering and awesome and wonderful and you'll have not only accomplished your dream, but accomplished it the right way.

I also wanted to say... be careful that you are not clinging to the idea of owning your boy as fulfilling a dream. Don't let stubbornness or the belief that you can't otherwise be happy hold you back from doing the right thing. The thing about life... it always goes on!


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