# Help! New to convince my parents to let me continue riding



## α CMa (Dec 5, 2018)

Hi,

I don't really have any advice on persuasion....

Remember, there is _a lot_ more to horses than just riding. There are _many_ other horsey-things you could do if they remain steadfast, such as learning about horse behavior, horse psychology, better ways to tack-up and/or ride.

-

Is there an indoor area where you could ride? 
If not, how is it outside? Depending on where you are, winter isn't that great for horse riding anyway.... It is usually too cold and muddy. 
I... assume you are using Fahrenheit? -10 Celsius isn't *that* cold and certainly not snowing....


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## Anewhorserider (Aug 25, 2018)

Its indoor, just not heated.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

If it's really cold, it won't make for a good lesson, anyway. Are you quoting a -10 C, or a -10 F ? big difference.


during the winter, you could watch videos on riding skills, and work out to be ready and strong for the spring.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

You know what? They may have other reasons for giving it a break besides the weather. You could ask them. It's really not a good idea to try to persuade someone to do what they don't want to. Maybe they don't want to sit there in the cold and wait for you. Like the poster above said, there are many things to horses besides riding. In the cold of winter, you can spend your time researching on the internet and learning cool stuff about handling, care and all sorts of other stuff. It wouldn't hurt to have a conversation with them about this but I certainly wouldn't be trying to convince them. I would just say stuff like "I can't wait for spring to get here so I can resume riding" "I'm so excited" .


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## Anewhorserider (Aug 25, 2018)

celsius not Fahrenheit


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## α CMa (Dec 5, 2018)

Where do you live? Is -10C really "too cold?" 
-10 C is a really mild winter for where I live....

-

As, @LoriF stated, there may be other reasons for why they don't want you to take lessons right now. 

Cost may be one of them. Depending on what happened, vacations aren't cheap... then tack on lessons - which are also not exactly the cheapest thing in the world.... If that is the case, perhaps you could do some extra chores, be it at your house or at the barn, to help supplement the cost of lessons...?

What are you wearing? They may not wish to take you out if they think you are consistently under-dressing.

They may also feel it is not a good time due to this "holiday hump" (many holidays in a rapid succession).

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Anewhorserider said:


> In november, my parents and me had the agreement will stop for the winter and continue in march, because winter here is really rough and my stable is an hour away.


If you already agreed to stop with lessons for the winter in November, why are you trying to take your word back? Your parents are keeping theirs....


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

α CMa;1970654383 said:


> I should hope it's not snowing in -10 Celsius! -10 C is a really mild winter, in my opinion, especially for where I live.
> 
> -
> 
> As, @LoriF stated, there may be other reasons for why they don't want you to take lessons right now. Cost may be one of them. Depending on what happened, vacations are not cheap....


-10 celsius is 5 Fahrenheit, that's cold. 0 celsius is freeze point. Right now it's -5 Celsius here and it's snowing like crazy, I had to cut my ride short because it's snowing so heavy. Driving snow in a horse's face isn't pleasant. -20 C is frigid, so exactly where do you live that you consider -10 mild? Obviously somewhere unpleasant.
OP, quit devising ways to convince your parents to allow you to do stuff that they have told you to put on hold for a couple of months. Behave yourself, and listen to your parents is my advice. By the way, I am kidding. I think your parents don't want to wait around for an hour in the cold while you ride, let them have a break for a few months too.


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## α CMa (Dec 5, 2018)

waresbear said:


> -10 celsius is 5 Fahrenheit, that's cold. 0 celsius is freeze point. Right now it's -5 Celsius here and it's snowing like crazy, I had to cut my ride short because it's snowing so heavy. Driving snow in a horse's face isn't pleasant. -20 C is frigid, so exactly where do you live that you consider -10 mild? Obviously somewhere unpleasant.
> OP, quit devising ways to convince your parents to allow you to do stuff that they have told you to put on hold for a couple of months. Behave yourself, and listen to your parents is my advice. By the way, I am kidding. I think your parents don't want to wait around for an hour in the cold while you ride, let them have a break for a few months too.


OOF.
Thanks. I'm an ignoramus and did 10 C, not - 10C.

I thought that -10 C was about 14 F...?


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

Yes, I'm a baby but not only would I not want to ride in 14 F (the equivalent) I certainly wouldn't want to be sitting there doing nothing and freezing. That's besides the point though. You all agreed to wait until spring so wait. There are other things that you can be doing horsey without being around them. Or, you can be doing other things in appreciation of being privileged enough to be getting riding lessons and vacations. Not everyone has these things. I know that it is hard to wait but it won't kill you. Try to stay positive about what you have, they are stepping stones to whats coming ahead.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

Could be, I just looked outside on my thermometer to the Fahrenheit side, it isn't marked that well as Celsius side.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

α CMa;1970654387 said:


> OOF.
> Thanks. I'm an ignoramus and did 10 C, not - 10C.
> 
> I thought that -10 C was about 14 F...?


I thought =10 C was 14 F too. Still, it's too cold for me lol


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

It is 14 f and that's cold, lol!


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## rambo99 (Nov 29, 2016)

Really need to wait like your parents are wanting to do. Be patient and wait till spring when weather is warmer,it's currently 7 degree F here did a short ride like 10 minutes and it was COLD! We have close to 2 feet of fresh snow and horse's got a little sweated up, i was getting cold after 10 minutes....not even below zero. It will be much funner when warmer weather is here,so just wait the couple of months.


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## Avna (Jul 11, 2015)

After about 20F I find I just get too cold to enjoy myself much. Relax, it will soon be spring.


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## hmx (Dec 28, 2018)

Anewhorserider said:


> Hi guys! So basically for the month of december I went on vacaition, so I couldn't have riding lessons. In november, my parents and me had the agreement will stop for the winter and continue in march, because winter here is really rough and my stable is an hour away. But, now I am back from vacaition and other then being cold (up to -10) there isnt any snow, so driving isn't a problem. But, my parents are refusing to continue my lessons now itself, cause they feel its way to cold( which it is). But, i love riding, and I had just started cantering on a lunge, so I really want to ride now itself. any advice on how to convince my parents? Thanks


How about volunteering at a yard to learn new skills. They often will let volunteers have free rides once you know what your doing. It may be a good idea to have a proper conversation with your parents; just politely explain to them that riding is what you are passionate about, it gets you out in the fresh air, its exercise, learning a new skill, socialising, teaching responsibility, and being with animals is relaxing and makes you happy


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## Northerngal (Dec 27, 2018)

I think your parents are being perfectly reasonable. If you had an agreement you should certainly hold your end of the deal.


I'm from northern AB Canada, and where I live we didn't have an arena within driving range till 2 years ago and with winter temps dropping as low -40 C/F (our average winter temp is a mild -23C) we wouldn't be riding for 7 months of the year. I wouldn't let the cold stop me if the horse could handle it, -10C is warm and very rare around here this time of year. If your horse is used to the cold temps and you don't overdo it I believe it's perfectly fine to ride outdoors year round. I've been doing it all my life. But not at the expense of your parents.


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## Acadianartist (Apr 21, 2015)

I ride regularly in -10C and yes, to me, that's a mild winter. I ride in -20C too, but I may quite possibly be certifiably insane. I ride as much as I can. Which isn't half as often as I'd like. But I digress. Winter riding isn't the same as summer riding though. Even when it's not too cold to ride (which for me is colder than -20C or not as cold as that, but with significant precipitation), the reality is that you don't get to do all the things you do in the summer. Even with an indoor, you don't have as big an area, and the footing can be frozen. I ride because I just want to sit on my horse, but we don't do much in the winter months. 

I agree with the posters who say that you had an agreement with your parents and they are respecting it. You're now trying to change that agreement. It's ok to have a conversation with them about it, but if they say no, it's best to respect that.


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## HaylsSnow (Aug 27, 2018)

Anewhorserider said:


> celsius not Fahrenheit


I know that everyone is different, but I have taken both groundwork lessons and regular riding lessons in -32 Celsius. The indoor ring helps with stopping wind, so its not as cold as it would be outside. I live in Nova Scotia and I ride every Wednesday in at least -10 to -20 weather


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## HaylsSnow (Aug 27, 2018)

Anewhorserider said:


> Hi guys! So basically for the month of december I went on vacaition, so I couldn't have riding lessons. In november, my parents and me had the agreement will stop for the winter and continue in march, because winter here is really rough and my stable is an hour away. But, now I am back from vacaition and other then being cold (up to -10) there isnt any snow, so driving isn't a problem. But, my parents are refusing to continue my lessons now itself, cause they feel its way to cold( which it is). But, i love riding, and I had just started cantering on a lunge, so I really want to ride now itself. any advice on how to convince my parents? Thanks


Also I would like to say that maybe your parents have another reason other then the cold for wanting to put your lessons on hold? But if you all agreed to it, then they are keeping their word. Riding is fun and we all want to improve, trust me! (Stating from experience) I had surgery on my ankle in march and was off for a couple months, I would watch riding videos on how to improve and I would also do research on just horses in general! 😊 goodluck


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## WillfullyEccentric (Jun 16, 2018)

OP, as an adult who ride, and I have who has a child who rides: 

1. 14F is horribly cold. Like, i find it really hard to be be comfortable riding even at 10 degrees warmer than that. There were a few lessons last winter where my daughter was in tears it was so cold. Heck, there was one day, during a particularly vicious cold snap, where almost ALL the little girls were in tears it was so stinking cold and all the trainers had to cut the lesson short. 
2. Ok, its “only” an hour away, but you also have to understand that its not just an hour there, its an hour back. Thats 2 hours a week. That may not seem like a lot of time, but for an adult? 2 hours is a great chunk of time to get a lot of “stuff” done. Especially around the holidays. 
3. I know its hard to wait. Heck, I”m finding myself in a situation with riding that my riding/equestrian goals right now are running up against my finances and my daughter’s current level of experience (we were considering doing a half lease and while I am close to ready, she is decidedly not ) and it’s SO frustrating. But I also know that making the best mature adult decision is in my and my daughter who also rides’ best interest. 


That said, what i’d Suggest doing is, talk to your parents. Reassure them that you’re not going to nag them to go back before march but you really are nervous and want reassurance that you will start back up again in March. I think i know where you’re going with this in so much as you’re nervous that “taking a break” is a euphemism for “maybe she’ll lose interest and we can quit” - 

In the meantime there’s stuff you can do to “prep” for returning. If they’re hoping you lose interest and you desperately want to continue- show them that that is not going to happen. Pilates is great for building up core strength which is so important in riding and there are a ton of YouTube videos for free you can follow at home. All you need is a yoga mat and maybe an exercise band. I’d do what others suggested and maybe watch YouTube videos on “how to” and read books and learn as much as you can in the “off season”. -I’m also a civil war reenactor and this time of year when we can’t do events, my fellow hobbiests and I spend the winters making new clothes, or doing research or repairing stuff that needs fixing. By the time the spring rolls around, we’ jump back in and have a great time.


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

When you are able to 1) drive and 2) afford your own lessons then you can determine the when, where and how. As it is you and your parents have an agreement to put your lessons on hold for the winter. An hour drive (one way) plus the time for your lessons and then another hour home? Minmum of 3 hours invested for one lesson. Add that I am sure if you have late afternoon lessons a significant portion of that is in the dark unless you only ride weekends early in the day. Cold may not matter to you who would be moving around on a horse but to someone sitting and waiting on you that is more than I would put up with. That would be enough for me to put lessons on hold at this time of the year. From LoriF I think and needs to be repeated: " In the cold of winter, you can spend your time researching on the internet and learning cool stuff about handling, care and all sorts of other stuff. It wouldn't hurt to have a conversation with them about this but I certainly wouldn't be trying to convince them. I would just say stuff like "I can't wait for spring to get here so I can resume riding" "I'm so excited" ."


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## WillfullyEccentric (Jun 16, 2018)

QtrBel said:


> When you are able to 1) drive and 2) afford your own lessons then you can determine the when, where and how. As it is you and your parents have an agreement to put your lessons on hold for the winter. An hour drive (one way) plus the time for your lessons and then another hour home? Minmum of 3 hours invested for one lesson. Add that I am sure if you have late afternoon lessons a significant portion of that is in the dark unless you only ride weekends early in the day. Cold may not matter to you who would be moving around on a horse but to someone sitting and waiting on you that is more than I would put up with. That would be enough for me to put lessons on hold at this time of the year. From LoriF I think and needs to be repeated: " In the cold of winter, you can spend your time researching on the internet and learning cool stuff about handling, care and all sorts of other stuff. It wouldn't hurt to have a conversation with them about this but I certainly wouldn't be trying to convince them. I would just say stuff like "I can't wait for spring to get here so I can resume riding" "I'm so excited" ."


The driving back from the barn when its full dark at like 4pm is the worst of all worst worsts. Ugh.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

WillfullyEccentric said:


> 2. Ok, its “only” an hour away, but you also have to understand that its not just an hour there, its an hour back. Thats 2 hours a week. That may not seem like a lot of time, but for an adult? 2 hours is a great chunk of time to get a lot of “stuff” done. Especially around the holidays.


Hour there, hour back, minimum an hour at the barn...at least 3 hours.....

Speaking as someone who lives in the freezer, today it’s -6*C feels like -12*C, that’s practically a heat wave, I’m off to the barn soon.

Thing is it’s a lot different riding when it’s really cold, totally another when you are hanging about waiting. I went a couple of weeks ago to watch a friends lesson, I had to go and get my mares fleece to wrap around me to try and stay warm.


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## Acadianartist (Apr 21, 2015)

I think @WillfullyEccentric has a great idea with the exercise. There is even yoga for equestrians (google Yoga with Adriene). You can do it free!

Here's another idea: can you get a part-time job? Don't drive? Not old enough to get a job? Babysit. Or get creative... my daughter made wreaths before Christmas. Some were shaped like horses, some dogs, cats, whatever people requested, she tried to do. She made nearly 400$ in a couple of weeks selling these! If you can make a bit of cash, maybe you can offer to pay for the gas AND the cost of the lesson so you can go a little more often! This will really convince your parents that you're quite serious.


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## WillfullyEccentric (Jun 16, 2018)

Golden Horse said:


> Hour there, hour back, minimum an hour at the barn...at least 3 hours.....
> 
> Speaking as someone who lives in the freezer, today it’s -6*C feels like -12*C, that’s practically a heat wave, I’m off to the barn soon.
> 
> Thing is it’s a lot different riding when it’s really cold, totally another when you are hanging about waiting. I went a couple of weeks ago to watch a friends lesson, I had to go and get my mares fleece to wrap around me to try and stay warm.


Heh, i’m Very cold intolerant though. My husband tells me that he’s going to buy me a heated rock instead of a couch. ON the other hand I’m the one doing yard work in 95F heat.


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

Wow....we won't ride when it's much below 50 F....


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## loosie (Jun 19, 2008)

WillfullyEccentric said:


> OP, as an adult who ride, and I have who has a child who rides:


just wanted to say... I can see that, from your awesome avatar pic!


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## Anewhorserider (Aug 25, 2018)

hey everyone thank you all for talking some sense into me I talked to my parents and their like its just too cold out, and they don't really have the energy to drive and wait, and said I should be grateful I get riding lessons. I finally think I understand and think its fair what they're saying as they both work 5 days a week full time, and are sick already( seems like our family doesn't have a good immune system). But I am really scared that they'll say no to riding altogether. Like I am fine with waiting till March, but I hope they don't say no permanently. Also on my last riding lesson, my instructors like your taking a long break so don't be discouraged if your back to square one. is that true, when I go back will I not be continuing where I left off on? like I just started cantering on a lunge, and I was posting and sitting to a trot without stirrups really well, and yeah I was doing good. So will I not be cantering again by my second lesson? Also is it realistic to aim to be jumping small jumps by September with this break? Also if I watch cantering, trotting, and jumping videos and exercise and keep fit will that help at all. Sorry for all the questions


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## Acadianartist (Apr 21, 2015)

Anewhorserider said:


> hey everyone thank you all for talking some sense into me I talked to my parents and their like its just too cold out, and they don't really have the energy to drive and wait, and said I should be grateful I get riding lessons. I finally think I understand and think its fair what they're saying as they both work 5 days a week full time, and are sick already( seems like our family doesn't have a good immune system). But I am really scared that they'll say no to riding altogether. Like I am fine with waiting till March, but I hope they don't say no permanently. Also on my last riding lesson, my instructors like your taking a long break so don't be discouraged if your back to square one. is that true, when I go back will I not be continuing where I left off on? like I just started cantering on a lunge, and I was posting and sitting to a trot without stirrups really well, and yeah I was doing good. So will I not be cantering again by my second lesson? Also is it realistic to aim to be jumping small jumps by September with this break? Also if I watch cantering, trotting, and jumping videos and exercise and keep fit will that help at all. Sorry for all the questions


You sound very reasonable, so that's great. Your parents will appreciate it. I still think you could let them know you're planning on saving a bit of money to help pay for lessons in March so that they know you're not just going to forget about it, and are really committed. 

So you should expect that you'll need a few lessons to get back to where you were. By a few, I mean maybe 3-5 lessons. One lesson won't be enough, but it won't take that long. You'll get caught up quickly. It will help a lot if you maintain your physical condition in the meantime though! If all your muscles lose their tone during this break, it will take longer to get them back, but if you do yoga or pilates for equestrians in the meantime, you should catch up a lot faster. 

In my opinion, watching videos only helps a little in terms of your own riding. Reading, and exercising (especially specific muscles in your core and legs) help more I think. Anything that can help you develop balance, and coordination is good. Also flexibility (that's why yoga is great). 

Your goal of going over small jumps (start with cavalettis) by September may be realistic if you are doing enough lessons throughout the summer, but one lesson a week may not be enough. Ideally, at least two lessons a week while continuing to practice yoga or pilates in between might get you there, but you will have to take lessons all summer, not take a month off to go away on vacation. 

Good luck, and ask away! This forum is a great place to learn all about horses and horsemanship. Does anyone close to you have horses you could just go groom after school or something? Any time spent with horses is useful.


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## Whinnie (Aug 9, 2015)

Anewhorserider said:


> hey everyone thank you all for talking some sense into me I talked to my parents and their like its just too cold out, and they don't really have the energy to drive and wait, and said I should be grateful I get riding lessons. I finally think I understand and think its fair what they're saying as they both work 5 days a week full time, and are sick already( seems like our family doesn't have a good immune system). But I am really scared that they'll say no to riding altogether. Like I am fine with waiting till March, but I hope they don't say no permanently. Also on my last riding lesson, my instructors like your taking a long break so don't be discouraged if your back to square one. is that true, when I go back will I not be continuing where I left off on? like I just started cantering on a lunge, and I was posting and sitting to a trot without stirrups really well, and yeah I was doing good. So will I not be cantering again by my second lesson? Also is it realistic to aim to be jumping small jumps by September with this break? Also if I watch cantering, trotting, and jumping videos and exercise and keep fit will that help at all. Sorry for all the questions


I am glad you are being reasonable with your parents. Sometimes pestering parents too much over something can backfire. I know it is hard to wait, but it is good to learn to defer gratification, it will serve you well later in life.

I really don't think you would be back to square one when you start riding again in March (really, that's only a few weeks away) as you now have some knowledge and experience. Your muscle memory will come back quickly. As for watching videos, that can be used to help you visualize correct positions that you may be able to transfer to actual riding. Lots of athletes use visualization to enhance their performances. Ask you instructor for recommended videos so you don't end up watching something that is not in line with her techniques and what she is teaching about position, etc.

If you can go to a gym, the best think I have found to help with balance is a piece of equipment that is a platform with a half ball under it that you stand on and balance. I do squats and move my hands and arms into different position (over head, out front like riding, behind the back, etc). I was amazed at how fast my over-all balance improved for riding!

Good luck!


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

Well, I think that if you are talking about what you like in a positive way, they will know that you have not forgotten about it. Save your money to help pay for some of it. Exercise, strengthen and keep your body limber, do chores around the house to show your appreciation for what you get, keep your grades up. They won't forget. 

As for thinking that you will be starting over, I don't think so. You might have to take a step or two back but it will be short lived. It won't take you nearly as long to get comfortable again to where you left off. No where near as long as what it took you to get there from scratch.


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## WillfullyEccentric (Jun 16, 2018)

Anewhorserider said:


> hey everyone thank you all for talking some sense into me I talked to my parents and their like its just too cold out, and they don't really have the energy to drive and wait, and said I should be grateful I get riding lessons. I finally think I understand and think its fair what they're saying as they both work 5 days a week full time, and are sick already( seems like our family doesn't have a good immune system). But I am really scared that they'll say no to riding altogether. Like I am fine with waiting till March, but I hope they don't say no permanently. Also on my last riding lesson, my instructors like your taking a long break so don't be discouraged if your back to square one. is that true, when I go back will I not be continuing where I left off on? like I just started cantering on a lunge, and I was posting and sitting to a trot without stirrups really well, and yeah I was doing good. So will I not be cantering again by my second lesson? Also is it realistic to aim to be jumping small jumps by September with this break? Also if I watch cantering, trotting, and jumping videos and exercise and keep fit will that help at all. Sorry for all the questions


Oh no, you won’t be at square one i wouldn’t think. What other commenters have suggested to keep up the core strength stuff- DO IT. 

My daughter also does Scottish dance which is extremely core working. There’s been a few circumstances where we missed 2 weeks worth of lessons. She becuase she dances every day to practice was like she hadn’t missed a single week. Me? It took me about 15 minutes to get back into the swing of things. Becuase i’m Lazy and hate exercise unless its occurring on the back of a large prey animal .


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## redbadger (Nov 20, 2017)

Acadianartist said:


> Good luck, and ask away! This forum is a great place to learn all about horses and horsemanship. Does anyone close to you have horses you could just go groom after school or something? Any time spent with horses is useful.



Good question - OP, would your barn be ok with you spending a day a week mucking stalls and cleaning tack and helping with other barn chores? If your adult is willing to drop you off and return at the end of the day, rather than wait around ... it's interaction with the animals and the other humans, and a good opportunity to learn by doing and asking.


In my area, the state parks mounted unit, and several local therapeutic programs are always looking for volunteers for everything from office work to leading horses to barn chores or even just one-off big projects. Those might be a good chance for your barn fix.


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## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

I'm glad you decided to talk to your parents, and understand why they made the decision to not resume the lessons until March.

It'll be more pleasant to ride in March anyway.

I don't think they will say no altogether. Tell them how excited you are for March!

You may be a bit rusty in March. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean you'll necessarily be back at square one. You'll get right back into it after a few lessons I'm sure. Take your time, don't rush it.


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## Anewhorserider (Aug 25, 2018)

So basically I don't think I will be able to help out on the farm just because of distance and time. So I am going to skip with watching videos and keeping up my strength and core


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## QueenofFrance08 (May 16, 2017)

I wouldn't worry. I'm in Minnesota where it is pretty cold/icy/snowy/sloppy all winter and I have a job where I work 60+ hours from January-April 15th. I don't have an indoor arena and my horses are at home so I don't ride more than a handful of times until late April as do a lot of people around me. I do distance riding and hope to be ready for a 50 mile ride at the end of May. I'll probably be pretty sore after some time off but I do workout almost every day which definitely helps!


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## AtokaGhosthorse (Oct 17, 2016)

WillfullyEccentric said:


> Heh, i’m Very cold intolerant though. My husband tells me that he’s going to buy me a heated rock instead of a couch. ON the other hand I’m the one doing yard work in 95F heat.


I can handle low 30s F - that's about as low as I want to go. OTOH - I'll do yard work all day long in triple digits and have no problem putting on jeans and riding a horse when it's 105 (Though we do wait until late afternoon to ride so it's cooling off... a little bit... at some point... maybe.

OH.

And as a parent of not one, but TWO kids who played softball and baseball for three of four years in HS - moms and dads get absolutely exhausted just going and chauffeuring. A three hour commitment x number of days of week is a HUGE eater of time and energy. No. way. would I do it. But neither was I a super devoted sports mom. I love my kids but when it started eating us alive in terms of FUEL, FOOD, and FAMILY time, I put the ax on it.

We love ya, kids... but we're human and we get tired and we want to do some things together and on our own as well, rather than just ferrying kids from point a to point b. Make no mistake - when our kids lost at lengthy tournaments, we parents, at least most of us, breathed a quiet sigh of relief because we got to go home.


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