# concered for the horse and rider!



## ~*~anebel~*~ (Aug 21, 2008)

If your trainer had sense, the girl wouldn't be riding until she knew how to care for a horse. IMO.


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## TwendeHaraka (Oct 5, 2008)

I'd tell her she wouldn't be allowed to ride if she didn't do what you told her. I would tell her she's got one more chance to prove she can do it right, and if she can't, say byebye to riding privileges.

I teach horse camps over the summer, I know how this goes... I hate it when kids do that.


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## Kirsti Arndt (Jun 23, 2008)

no no no = prep gear so it is clean and comfortable for the horse-prep horse so he is ready for a rider- iiiieee grooming,= prep to ride=ride-groom again=de-prep gear=clean it again anyone who is in charge and lets this behavior go on is irresponsible and not looking out for the horses and or the riders. 
HORSEMEN AND HORSEWOMEN= learn to take care of their mounts first- RIDERS learn to take care of themselves. an 8 year old is hardly of an age to know better-where are the adults??? no child should be left to manage an animal on their own-let alone an older animal= when you are done riding even the most novice of riders knows he/she should cool the animal-if cooling isnt needed then bonding is. barn manager is needed


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## Tennessee (Dec 7, 2008)

It's rather simple actually. She can't take care of a horse = she can't ride a horse. Since the horse she is dealing with is old, you MUST make her understand that this horse is getting fragile and must not be worked as much as younger horses. I would make sure that before she rides that she correctly grooms and tacks the horse every time. And, I wouldn't let her get on that horse until she has done so.


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## Dave (Nov 4, 2007)

*mentoring riders*

Hello If you are her mentor then you need to put your foot well i guess down to be nice about it if she cannot learn to prepare her ride and to tack her horse up the right way then she needs to be dropped from the program or be instructed in a different manner then what she now is being, Also she should never be alone to do this as she is way to young to be handling even the best horse in your barn with out adult supervision and guidence, My 6yr old daughter Hannah is learning to do it all from the ground up on her horse but i never leave her to do it , but she can as long as i keep the mounting block close by so she can get the saddle up on bears back , But she knows if its not right she starts all over till it is the correct way and the horse is groomed before the ride and after the ride :lol:


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## shermanismybaby3006 (Oct 10, 2008)

I agree with the others. You need to tell her that if she doesn't groom her horse, pick out their hooves, tack her up the correct way, then after she rides, cool her down properly, groom her again, and also pick out her hooves again then she doesnt need to be riding the horse. She needs to learn that a horse is a huge responsibility and until she can learn to properly take care of the horse she needs to not be riding the horse. Has anyone talked to her mother about it? Maybe she needs to have a talk with her.

Dave: you are definately teaching your daughter the right way! Thats how I had to learn!


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## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

Yeah, I think the barn manager should get involved as well. She is pretty young, & sounds very inexperienced. What she's doing is wrong, & it could cause more harm than good if it continues. I think it should be stopped until she's ready. I think maybe building up, starting from grooming & such 'til she learns how to care for the horse more would help.  Like, gradually increasing her knowledge.


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## equineangel91 (Oct 8, 2008)

if that girl did those things, i wouldnt let her within ten feet of my horse.

The barn manager needs to do something about that girl before she seriously hurts someone


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## Connemara93 (Nov 7, 2008)

If I were her mentor, I would supervise her while she is grooming and tacking up the horse. If she doesn't pick his hooves out for example, just say nicely "Don't you remember that we have to pick his feet out before and after we ride? We don't want him to get sore feet do we?". If she is stubborn, then just say "No, we are not allowed to ride our horses unless we look after them properly. It's part of the responsibilty of being a horseperson and it is very important."

She's only eight. I know that she's old enogh to do things for herself, but she probably doesn't understand the consequences of her laziness.

And after a ride, if she goes to the roundpen again, just say "I think he's had enough work for today. Why don't we just untack him and let him relax" And again, if she's stubborn, you just have to be more stern. As her mentor, I would personally think that it was partly your responsibility to make sure she is treating her horse properly. Isn't that the whole point of you being there?


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## lovemyponies (Jul 26, 2008)

I agree with Connemara, you need to take charge. If she refuses to listen to you she should be dropped from the program. No 8 year old should be grooming and tacking without second by second supervision. (unless they are one of those rare horse kids who started when they were 5 and actually know what they are doing) At our barn I supervise everyone until I am completely convinced they know what they are doing and even then I double check to make sure feet are properly picked up, bridle and saddle properly adjusted, etc. And those are for adults and kids a like of all ages. 

Sounds like this program does not provide enough structure or supervision.


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## claireauriga (Jun 24, 2008)

I'm thinking that an eight year old kid isn't physically capable of doing these things properly without a lot of supervision! Who on earth is letting an eight year old do anything involving a horse without a responsible adult being present and managing each activity?


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## lovemyponies (Jul 26, 2008)

Ponypal, you sound like you are trying to do the best you can with a bad situation. I would ask for more supervision or let your mom know you can't mentor this child anymore as she does not listen.


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## Kiara (Aug 27, 2008)

I agree with everyone: The girl has to listen to you or she can't ride! For one, it is dangerous for the horse (and herself!) and secondly, I think we all know what that will turn into if not corrected... If she doesn't listen to you or the BO you guys will have to talk to her parents and let them know she can't act that way. If that still doesn't do anything (usually kids that don't listen to other adults learn those behaviors at home) you will have to drop her from the program. It's your guys' liability, so you should make sure everything is safe. You don't want to rack up the vet bill if the horse gets hurt and God forbid if she gets hurt... Sue-happiness is very prevalent here, so make sure you stand your ground and teach her respect towards other people and horses!
Good luck! I know it's tough, but hang in there! It's for the greater good.


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## onetoomany (Dec 10, 2008)

claireauriga said:


> I'm thinking that an eight year old kid isn't physically capable of doing these things properly without a lot of supervision! Who on earth is letting an eight year old do anything involving a horse without a responsible adult being present and managing each activity?


 
I hate to tell you this but for those of us who come from horse families have been expected to treat our horses with respect and care for them properly from a very young age. When I was eight I knew better than to do any of what this girl is doing. If my parents, mentors or instructors caught me doing any of those things, I would have gotten it handed to me. It's not like I was some exceptional eight year old either. I know of two families that are very big where I'm from and their kids have been rodeoing since they could walk. Yeah, this girl may not come from a horse family but that age is no excuse for disrespecting her mentors and her horses.


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## Jacksonlover (Nov 16, 2008)

hate to say it, but when i started riding i was exactly like that little girl, i thought i knew everything, when i obvisously didn't. then i put a pony in danger and i finally understood what i was doing wrong when some one got in my face, my trainer. she gotten within 3 inches of my face, she wsa stern and firm, i haave never been rude there a gain, yes i was young and stupid, now i never let a chance to learn something pass me by. so maybe thats what she needs


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## ponypal (Oct 7, 2008)

I talked to her mother today, and she said that she has been through a lot, she said "oh she is just a little mean on the outside and sweet on the inside. she will get over it" I really dont think you can get over it, you have to learn. I had to do all of the work today, though thats not such a big deal, I LOVE DOING THE HARD WORK!! but eventually she will need to ;earn or she will not be able the ride. god thing is that today, the barn manager, found out what she was doing and she is not allowed to ride for the next two days!! i know thats not nice but she needs to learn, if not the easy way but the hard way. so I showed her how to cool the horses down the right way and she looked like she was listening,

I dont want to say that she isnt intrested but, some 8 year olds are great with horses and are really responsible. this girl, well just might be going through a stage that she just really loves horses. who knows. I really dont think the mother really understands her. NOW I REALLY DONT MEAN FOR THAT TO SOUND BAD OR ANYTHING i reakky sounds bad. I am trying to be strict and sweet at the same time cause I dont want to turn her off horses for ever if she really likes them. but I have mentored for three years now and I have never had this much trouble!!(sigh) makes me tired just thinking about it.


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## Kiara (Aug 27, 2008)

If she's into horses she won't be turned off by someone showing her how to do it. Either way, she is supposed to listen to you if you are her mentor! That is just basic respect. That is what I meant about learning it at home. It will create future problems if she is not taught respect. Plus, you really want to avoid the horse and her getting in danger so act! Better be a little harsh with her than have someone need medical assistance (vet or human). 

You can be nice, but if you have to be stern and clear. I think your BO did the right thing. She needs to learn respect and how to do things properly. She will not have someone there to do everything for her horse forever. Don't feel bad about being stern! I know it's hard nowadays, but sometimes sweettalking doesn't do anything. Sometimes you have to say No! and mean it. Otherwise that girl will never learn to listen and respect others. And it is better for her to learn it now, where you just have to remind her and explain, than if she is older and will face a tougher situation. Being stern doensn't equal being mean. Being stern when the need arises is called parenting. Be as sweet as you can, but as stern as you have to.


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## shermanismybaby3006 (Oct 10, 2008)

Kiara- You are right she would be very interested in how to do everything the right way if she is really into horses. I know I was when I first started!

She might just not be ready to be taking care of a horse. I dont want that to sound mean in any way, but some kids just arent mature enough to take proper care of a horse.
This doesnt mean that she shouldnt be able to be around the horses because if she is really going through a hard time like her mom said then she does need to be around the horses because horses are very good therapy. I know whenever I am down my horses always cheer me up.

I agree with everybody else who said that she just needs to maybe start from just grooming the horse and maybe since you are the mentor maybe pick a few days out of the week to be with her and help her tack up the horse and then watch her ride and make sure she is doing everything correctly. I don really know what your job is by being her mentor but I think this would help a little.


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## ponypal (Oct 7, 2008)

well that helps, I dont want to be mean but I think that its a good idea for her to sit out for a while. and yes horses are great tharapy, but this girl when she is in a bad mood, SHE IS FURIOUSE. I have seen her many times try to injure the horse (though you really cant like punch a horse and it severly injure them!!) and I have been concered for a while about that. I and really just worried about her. If she keeps acting like this then she will get hurt.


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## NicoleS11 (Nov 21, 2008)

my question is were are the parents in this situation. Im assuming this girl came from a family that doesnt know a whole lot about horses. The whole time that i was in 4H and my mother was the leader and my mom also was giving most of the kids lessons on the side..but she always made the parents stick around and watch. No "babysitting" was ever done by the horse or my mom. Most kids that age have that "i know all" attitude. I grew up in a horse family and hell...i had that attitude as well. This girl should NOT be left alone with any horse...specially if she has a background were she is in need of some one like your mom. I recomend you just keep an extra eye on her. Spend more time with her and if she has that "knwo it all" attitude get a hold of her parents. Its not worth wasting your or the horses time if she isnt into it!


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## Kiara (Aug 27, 2008)

ponypal said:


> but this girl when she is in a bad mood, SHE IS FURIOUSE. I have seen her many times try to injure the horse (though you really cant like punch a horse and it severly injure them!!) and I have been concered for a while about that. I and really just worried about her. If she keeps acting like this then she will get hurt.


Ok, no matter what she went through she has NO RIGHT to hit a horse for any reason like that!!! That is asking for trouble. She should not be beating horses! You have to put an immediate stop to that and really talk to her parents. She cannot use violence against animals. That only escalates. If she has those issues they should get her some help. I know I sound harsh, but really I just don't want to see this turn into something really bad.


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## shermanismybaby3006 (Oct 10, 2008)

I agree with you Kiara. She needs to get some help and I didnt know she was hitting the horses. Even if it doesnt hurt when she hits the horse what if she decides to use something else that can injure a horse. Until she learns the responsibility she needs to sit out for a while and maybe when she sits out for a while if she is supervised the whole time she can ride for a little bit. Its just not fair to the horse to have to be treated like that.

Is this her horse or someone elses???


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## Got2Gallop (Oct 22, 2007)

I would think that if the girl is there because she wants to be and because she loves horses that she would want to do those things. I know when I was that age I would groom a horse for hours before and after just so I could stay around them longer lol! Is this something that someone else thinks she should do and she just isn't into it? If so, that's still no excuse for her abusing any of the horses, but the adults need to step in right away and find a differnt activity for her.


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## ponypal (Oct 7, 2008)

well today I saw her using the hoofpic to I dont know what she was trying to do but she was limke digging it into the horse!!!!!!!!! so at that point I needed to just get her out of there as fast as she had come. I warned her that if she did this again, she wouldnt get to ride or maybe, depending on what the barn manager says never come back again. So at this point I guess my threat angered her, SHE CAME AT ME!!!! with the hoof pick. I was a little worried and so was my friend. I asked my friend to get the manager and she came to help. SHE said that if she EVER!!! tried to injure a horse or a person then she will be banned from the barn (as she put it) AND thank goodness she doesnt own a horse. not to be mean or anything. the manager did talk to the mother and the father with me and she was kind of well shocked!!! I dont see why! I will see how she is tommorrow. she is still coming but she got a double warning!!!


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## NicoleS11 (Nov 21, 2008)

if she came at you she should not be aloud at that barn! i dont understand why she is getting so many chances if she is a crazy little girl!!!!! boot her out!!!


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## wanderlust (Nov 18, 2008)

Nicole, I do agree, to a point.

I also think that this girl has many issues that are probably always dealt with this way. She does something wrong, and is just booted out. Her aggression is a symptom, not the problem. 

If she was a horse she wouldn't be thrown out for bad behavior, at least not so easily.


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## Gillian (Aug 2, 2008)

Not to sound rude here, but digging a hoof pick into a horse and than coming after a someone with it is a little bit more than "bad behavior". Confronting her and giving her another chance was a very nice thing to do, in my opinion it would have been justified booting her out then and there.


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## wanderlust (Nov 18, 2008)

Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't let her near a horse without first working through some problems. She obviously has a big issue and I bet it is always dealt with by being thrown out, or dismissed.


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## prbygenny (Aug 2, 2008)

She may very well have parents that let her get away with things just because she uses such aggresion and so she thinks that anyone telling her no she can treat the same. This is how she was taught by her parents to get her way! You can tell by the way her mom just blows off the mentors concerns by using excuses instead of giving the daughter a consequence for her actions. I see this all the time parents are to afraid of punishing the kids because the word punishment is so hard, I always use the word consequence to get the parents to see the light. And kids will understand this when you are consistent. These parents are using the mentors as a babysitter, I am a mother of an almost 8yr old, he has been around horses and riding them since he was 3 and I would never let him out of my sight while around any horse!! 
Even if she has some kind of disorder like ADHD (or any other like some form of Autism) which alot of kids with this can fly off the handle at the blink of an eye, if she had consistent parenting... meaning rewards and consequences then neither the B/O or mentor would have to be keeping an eye on her ( her parents would be the ones responsible for that)
JMO, I have an older child with ADHD and slight autism so these behaviors are not new to me but have become alot less frequent with hands on parenting.


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## shermanismybaby3006 (Oct 10, 2008)

I am sorry but that is just un called for! coming at someone with a hoof pick. She should be banned from the barn if not forever at least for a month or something. She obviously has problems and I feel bad for her, but she doesnt need to be injuring the horse or another person. I know if I did the stuff she was doing my barn manager would have kicked me out a long time ago.

What did her parents say when you guys talked to them?


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## ponypal (Oct 7, 2008)

well i talked the parents and they said, she just has trouble getting along with people and that she would catch on. there is something wrong with them if they are letting there child go to a stable with horses and say, oh she has trouble getting along!!!! i told the barn manager and she wont be allowed back for a month. but the month starts THE NEW YEAR. so i still have to deal with her


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## NicoleS11 (Nov 21, 2008)

this girl needs to deal with her issues before she gets the chance to be close to horses!


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## kershkova (Jun 25, 2008)

I would never ever let that girl touch by horse.


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## ponypal (Oct 7, 2008)

well thats what I said to the parents but in a nicer way,she really needs to show some respect for the horses, they are big animals and should be treated nicely!!


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## centrestableswendy (Dec 21, 2008)

My daughter is 5 1/2. She knows that in order to ride and be at the barn, she has to do the work and earn it. Riding is not a right, it's a wonderful privilege. Grooming, caring for tack, paying attention to the needs of your horse are the most important parts of becoming an equestrian. When I go to the barn, I'm usually gone for at least 5 hours, sometimes more. My non-horsey friends can't understand why I'm gone that long and only ride for an hour! Before and after bonding and grooming are the absolute best!


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## zanytactics (Sep 8, 2007)

Her parents need to take controll of there daughter and teach her some respect to others. I can't believe what I have read! The girl should not be aloud back on the property. Lets say she gets hurt, then what's going to happen. The barn might be liable. It's not worth the risk. Good Luck!


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## my2geldings (Feb 18, 2008)

~*~anebel~*~ said:


> If your trainer had sense, the girl wouldn't be riding until she knew how to care for a horse. IMO.


That was the best short and sweet answer I have heard in a while. 

If your trainer is aware that this is happening then isnt much else you can do. If not, I would bring it up to her at least about the horse you lease as you are working with that horse.


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## SaddleUp158 (Dec 26, 2008)

Connemara93 said:


> If I were her mentor, I would supervise her while she is grooming and tacking up the horse. If she doesn't pick his hooves out for example, just say nicely "Don't you remember that we have to pick his feet out before and after we ride? We don't want him to get sore feet do we?". If she is stubborn, then just say "No, we are not allowed to ride our horses unless we look after them properly. It's part of the responsibilty of being a horseperson and it is very important."
> 
> She's only eight. I know that she's old enogh to do things for herself, but she probably doesn't understand the consequences of her laziness.
> 
> And after a ride, if she goes to the roundpen again, just say "I think he's had enough work for today. Why don't we just untack him and let him relax" And again, if she's stubborn, you just have to be more stern. As her mentor, I would personally think that it was partly your responsibility to make sure she is treating her horse properly. Isn't that the whole point of you being there?


I agree completely!


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## ponypal (Oct 7, 2008)

I havent posted in a while. the girl has been talked about and we ,meaning me and the owner decided that she should quote"grow a little and come back in a year" unquote. its not that im greatly happy but she does need to grow. so she can come and visit but she cant ride or groom. its improvement!


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