# How can a male get started on horse riding?



## futuredoctor

I am a male, 17 years of age. Recently I have become interested in riding horses mainly for pleasure (Not with polo in mind. Though I would be open to polo too.) I've noticed that most riders are female. How can a male learn more about horses and find someone who would be willing to train a guy?


Part II: Social :?

What will it be like as a male rider? It seems like society generally considers recreational riding primarily feminine. Will female riders discriminate against males? How can I get my parents to set up lessons? I feel a little bit awkward about telling people of this interest.

Also, do you think it's weird for a 17 year old male to have an interest in this?


Things I'm interested in:
Recreational
Trails
Racing
General Riding
Possibly Sports (Polo, Etc.)

Not Interested:
Horse Shows (It sounds like fun, but it's too feminine. Society would not approve.)

Thank you for the help!

*My Apologies if I posted this in the wrong section, I'm new to the forums and I just realized that the "new to horses" category may have been a better option*


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## xlionesss

Riding is in no way feminine, you get dirty and sweaty...horse shows are especially not! There are plenty of male riders out there. 
No lesson barn will have ANY problems with taking on a male. Riding is a sport/hobby for everyone! We've got plenty guys on the forum here.


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## futuredoctor

xlionesss said:


> Riding is in no way feminine, you get dirty and sweaty...horse shows are especially not! There are plenty of male riders out there.
> No lesson barn will have ANY problems with taking on a male. Riding is a sport/hobby for everyone! We've got plenty guys on the forum here.


Thank you. I hope people will accept me.


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## LadyDreamer

None of the guy riders I know(with the exception of the few legitimate homosexual friends I have) are in any way shape or form, feminine. Most of the trainers I know are male, too. 

Really, if you want to learn, do it! If you get hazed by "the guys" about it, there are lots of ways to play it off as macho, such as getting chicks, you were dared, tell the boys that THEY couldn't do it....


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## Samstead

feminine? riding? oh honey no. Society might portray it that was but in real life, it stall mucking, sweaty, dirty, dusty, horse-rolled-in-the-mud hard work. I mean we make a 1200 pound animal do our bidding without speaking.


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## its lbs not miles

If you look closely you'll find that a great many men do ride. Look at the people who do eventing and you'll find plenty of men. Most guys are not into doing "shows", but it that's usually because most men don't care for arena riding. They tend to prefer riding outdoors and different areas. For most of us "sameness" = "boring".
Can't imagine anyone caring about whether you're male of female if you're learning to ride. Just find a good instructor for you (not all are created equal and some doing better with some people over others) and learn to ride.
Granted far more women ride today than they when I was younger, but there are still plenty of men who ride. You won't see as many men at boarding stables. Most men don't board their horses, but have their own place to keep them, but there are men who board.
The only social thing you need to be prepared for is the having more girls than guys learning to ride. Being the only male in the group can have it's advantages though :lol:


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## bsms

I started at 50, after spending much of my adult life strapped in ejection seats. That may or may not have been good preparation for riding horses...:shock:

Yes, recreational riding is dominated by women. I have never noticed any discrimination AGAINST me by the females. Most, if anything, seem glad to see a male - even an aging one with bifocals and a taste in T-shirts that run to those under $2.50 - riding horses.

I rapidly grew tired of horse magazines. Not only are they a terrible source of information, but there were too many advertisements of the "Does this saddle make my butt look big" sort.

Don't take lessons from a cute 17 year old girl. They are too distracting. But a 40 year old woman will treat you as a student, not a date.

If someone thinks riding is too feminine, tell them to get on 1000 lbs of muscle and give it a try. They can borrow my mare.

Statistically, it is "20 times as dangerous as motor cycling" - (Spinal injuries resulting from horse riding accidents). Male or female doesn't matter. It is a sport that requires nerve, a clear head, good balance, and the understanding that you can be severely injured or killed at the strangest times. I honestly have been more scared on a horse than I was being shot at flying combat sorties.

This morning, the mini-trail ride was pretty relaxing...until 3 terrified horses galloped full speed opposite direction of us. OK, the horses were not terrified. They were cantering relaxed and content and passed about 200 yards off to the side. But my mare fears strange horses like she fears nothing else, and getting her to go into the area they had obviously been fleeing in terror was a challenge. And it didn't help that they passed somewhere behind us, since she then felt like 3 wild, crazy horses were likely to attack us from behind!

Take a look at Painted Horse's thread on Robbers Roost (http://www.horseforum.com/trail-riding/robbers-roost-189185/). For a taste:








​ Yep! That's a sport for wimps!

Now, will anyone outside of the horse world figure it out? Probably not. But that is part of becoming an adult - learning to follow YOUR dreams, and to trust YOUR judgment. If riding interests you, give it a try. You may find you DON'T like it, and that is OK. Or you may find it more challenging than anything you've ever done. You probably won't be able to explain it to a lot of people. I can't. At 55, I don't even try unless the person asking is serious.


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## Hannah2016

I dont think i can add much with whats already been given, but i was kind of shocked by what you had writen, so i have to say it.

Out of 11 years of riding and dozens of female instructors, the past 7 months i have never improved so much with the best instructor i have ever found. And one of the only male instructor in my area. He is honestly the best


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## futuredoctor

What riding style should a male learn?


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## Nikkibella

Whatever you're interested in  I'm a 17 yo female rider of 10 years and I LOVE seeing male riders , I wish we had more male riders at my barn (we don't have any) I hate the fact that guys think its a feminine sport , I just got home from being at the barn for 7 hours mucking stalls , riding bareback in the mud (we've had TONS of rain) and battling 1500 lb animals to lift their feet for thrush meds , as much as I love to be an independent girl ..I really could've used some male muscle today !
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## boots

futuredoctor said:


> What riding style should a male learn?


If you are fortunate to have choices in your area, try more than one style or discipline. 

I my lifetime, I have ridden and worked with many more male riders than female. My primary focus now is ranching and polo. Sometimes on the same horses.


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## tinyliny

you probably will be discriminated against, at a barn, but not in the way you think. the female riders will vie with each other to be nice to you and cut you so much slack, to get your attention, that you'll be free floating!

Seriously, when I used to ride at a barn, the few male riders were treated like princes. They could do no wrong. I am not sure that is what you had in mind, but I sure could see how male riders were treated much nicer, without the critical stance that a lot of females take of each other. 

Don't let any of this sway you. if you are interested, set your focus on doing it. Once you start interacting with horses, the people that are around horses are kind of peripheral. it's about the horses, not the people. And the more time you spend with horses, the more interesting and challenging it becomes.


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## Dustbunny

bsms said:


> I honestly have been more scared on a horse than I was being shot at flying combat sorties.
> 
> 
> 
> Riding does present certain thrills, doesn't it! :shock:
Click to expand...


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## soenjer55

First of all, stop caring about what gender you are. If you care about being a male, and if you think that that makes a difference, then everyone else will, too. If you're genuinely interested, just do it.
Showing is definitely not "feminine," either. How is training constantly with a 1000+ animal to be the best out of a group at jumping fences or carrying out intricate maneuvers "feminine"? That's like saying ballet is "too feminine" because it is a beautiful performance- but the amount of physical and mental labour put into it to make it beautiful can make a grown man cry.
Here's something else to think about: horse back riding was, first and foremost, a man's sport. Dressage is the legacy of the war horse. Racing was the sport of kings. Show jumping was the result of fox hunting, and the first competition was made up of military men. If you look at all the riders at the Riding School of Vienna, you will see many, many men. Here in the US, I rarely see men riding english- they mostly ride western. But if you look at countries such as Portugal or Spain, you will see many, many young male riders in show jumping and other english disciplines.
And trust me, you won't have anything to worry about from the female riders. Like Tinyliny said, you're more likely to be treated like a prince.
My suggestion is the same for anyone who is looking to start riding- look around your area for a good instructor (I like to hear recommendations from people they have taught), and try it out. Looking into multiple disciplines is a good idea, but you won't really have to worry about that until you have the basics. Horses are fantastic animals and riding is incredibly fun, I don't think you'll regret it.


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## waresbear

Don't get it into your head that you can't do certain activities with horses because it's too feminine. Horse riding, showing, Western, English, etc are all gender neutral. True, it is mostly women doing certain equestrian pursuits but there are some men and nobody looks strangely at them for it. My husband is a tattooed up biker guy and rides English, I dare you to call him feminine to his face, lol.


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## futuredoctor

soenjer55 said:


> First of all, stop caring about what gender you are. If you care about being a male, and if you think that that makes a difference, then everyone else will, too. If you're genuinely interested, just do it.
> Showing is definitely not "feminine," either. How is training constantly with a 1000+ animal to be the best out of a group at jumping fences or carrying out intricate maneuvers "feminine"? That's like saying ballet is "too feminine" because it is a beautiful performance- but the amount of physical and mental labour put into it to make it beautiful can make a grown man cry.
> Here's something else to think about: horse back riding was, first and foremost, a man's sport. Dressage is the legacy of the war horse. Racing was the sport of kings. Show jumping was the result of fox hunting, and the first competition was made up of military men. If you look at all the riders at the Riding School of Vienna, you will see many, many men. Here in the US, I rarely see men riding english- they mostly ride western. But if you look at countries such as Portugal or Spain, you will see many, many young male riders in show jumping and other english disciplines.
> And trust me, you won't have anything to worry about from the female riders. Like Tinyliny said, you're more likely to be treated like a prince.
> My suggestion is the same for anyone who is looking to start riding- look around your area for a good instructor (I like to hear recommendations from people they have taught), and try it out. Looking into multiple disciplines is a good idea, but you won't really have to worry about that until you have the basics. Horses are fantastic animals and riding is incredibly fun, I don't think you'll regret it.


Thank you for the historical insight.




waresbear said:


> Don't get it into your head that you can't do certain activities with horses because it's too feminine. Horse riding, showing, Western, English, etc are all gender neutral. True, it is mostly women doing certain equestrian pursuits but there are some men and nobody looks strangely at them for it. My husband is a tattooed up biker guy and rides English, I dare you to call him feminine to his face, lol.


Thank you for the story of your spouse.


I'm trying to find someone to instruct me now.


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## SlideStop

Just another tidbit of advice... Google famous horse trainers and professional riders. A lot, if the the majority, are men! 

Go on youtube and look of various disciplines! Jumping may excite you, working cows (cutting, sorting), reining (my personal favorite!), pleasure (taking it slow), extreme cowboy racing/trail, gymkhana (barrel racing, pole bending, key hole, etc), driving horses.... the possibilities are endless!! There really is something for everyone!


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## freia

Most of the girls/women who take lessons or board at a barn would LOVE to have more young men around. I'm pretty sure you will be accepted with open arms (pun intended).

Once you start taking lessons, you will very quickly learn that this is not a feminine sport. You do not merely sit atop the horse on a little throne and let the horse do the work. It is very physical. You use all parts of your body. You ride with your legs, your seat, your shoulders, arms, and definitely your core. After an hour lesson riding in an English saddle with no stirrups, spending much of the lesson in 2-point, I can guarantee you that you will not think of it as a feminine sport anymore.

It is also a very mental sport. You have to be determined, never show your fear to the horse, and show the horse ALWAYS that you are the leader and will not be messed with. It takes communication, understanding, ability to anticipate, and the ability to stay level-headed when the @#^% hits the fan.

And if the other guys give you flack, I can assure you that playing basketball is neither as mental nor physical as equitation.
You do whatever you want. It sounds like you like some speed and excitement. In the English disciplines, have you looked into eventing or hunters? Eventing is so much fun and so exciting, and requires immense skill and atheticism from horse and rider. Here's a quite snippet of the cross-country stage. 



 Or do you want to compete at all? Maybe you just will like riding for the fun of it. In Western, you have tons of fast-pace disciplines to choose from, including gaming.

The people and culture if you do, say, eventing vs Western, will be very different. Think about that too. The ambiance at a rodeo is quite different than at a horse-trial. And men participate and win in all of the disciplines. So do women. Welcome to the only Olympic sport where men and women compete together and equally.


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## SlideStop

Since I'm bored here you go!

Reining:





Barrel racing:





extreme cowboy race (these vary so much, look up others)





driving (you can also just drive for fun, doesn't have to be this extreme :wink:





Jumping: 





Cross country jumping





Western pleasure 





Cutting:





these just skim the surface!! There are TONS more. In my mind this is what I think of when I think male riders. It's by no way shape or form the only disiplines males riders ride in. You can find them in every single sport.


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## freia

Oooo, ooo, I got it. The ultimate response if "the guys" give you a hard time:

"Oh yeah? If riding is such a girlie-sport, how come we have to wear helmets and flack-jackets?"

People at the higher levels have quite the work-out regiments as well. I'm hoping some of them will post.


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## demonwolfmoon

I guess you start the same place that (almost) any new rider does...try to take some lessons. 

Or you could be like my husband...he's had two lessons and he thinks he can learn on the job so to speak. I'll let you know how that one goes X_X


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## freia

demonwolfmoon said:


> I guess you start the same place that (almost) any new rider does...try to take some lessons.
> 
> Or you could be like my husband...he's had two lessons and he thinks he can learn on the job so to speak. I'll let you know how that one goes X_X


Mwaaaaaaaahahahahaha (evil laugh)...

Our husbands should meet. Mine has never had a lesson. I took him trailriding, and he said (deep, macho-voice here): C'mon, I ride motorcycles. How different can it be?"

He learned many things that day, yet he says the most important lesson was that, while you can wear boxers on a motorcycles, he does not recommend it on an English saddle.


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## AnrewPL

bsms said:


> I started at 50, after spending much of my adult life strapped in ejection seats.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> So you had plenty of practice for riding horses.


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## jinxremoving

freia said:


> Oooo, ooo, I got it. The ultimate response if "the guys" give you a hard time:
> 
> "Oh yeah? If riding is such a girlie-sport, how come we have to wear helmets and flack-jackets?"
> 
> People at the higher levels have quite the work-out regiments as well. I'm hoping some of them will post.


I went through this recently. My sisters husband teaches Mixed Martial Arts and he made a rather obscene comment about male riders to which I replied:

"What are you talking about? I'm surrounded by mostly fit beautiful girls all day in tight pants while you're wrestling your (male) buddies to the ground and pinning them there?"


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## bsms

AnrewPL said:


> bsms said:
> 
> 
> 
> I started at 50, after spending much of my adult life strapped in ejection seats...
> 
> So you had plenty of practice for riding horses.
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah. I'm having a problem finding a saddle with a 5 point harness like the F-4 had...but a lot of horses seem to have the rocket motor part down pat! :lol:
Click to expand...


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## littrella

My 9 year old son does lessons. He loves showing off the 6 pack abs he's developing from all the posting he does.


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## F239141

jinxremoving said:


> "What are you talking about? I'm surrounded by mostly fit beautiful girls all day in tight pants while you're wrestling your (male) buddies to the ground and pinning them there?"


 
Oh so true


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## SlideStop

littrella said:


> My 9 year old son does lessons. He loves showing off the 6 pack abs he's developing from all the posting he does.


My sister friend (boy) used to be severely teased for being in gymnastics for most of his like. So funny when girls startes discovering boys he was one of the only ripped guys out there. His body was to die for!! The guys where jealous and the girls were throwing themselves at him!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## usandpets

I haven't read all the posts (so far). Do not think riding horses is feminine. At barns and taking lessons, you will find more females. Guys usually don't do the boarding thing or lessons once they learn the basics. In no means does it make it wrong to do either. We only pleasure ride and you will find more guys actually riding out of the barn. 

One thing I haven't seen said yet. Don't worry about what others think (you will figure this out as you get older). When I was your age, I was the same way, worrying about what others think and looking for approval of others (more of my parents but others too). Do what you want. It doesn't matter what others think. If they don't like you for you, too bad for them. 

Start out with lessons to learn the basic control. No matter what type of riding, the basic controls are the same. Then try out riding English and western. Western I think is easier. English is more along the lines for shows, dressage or polo. Western is for working on a ranch or pleasure riding. There are some that go for both. 

I started riding when I was 36. Knowing now the percentages of female vs male, I wish I had gotten into horses earlier, lol. But then I wouldn't be where I am now which I'm happy with. 

So I guess I'm saying "Go for it". It is not a feminine thing. After you ride the first time, you will have sore muscles where you didn't know you had muscles. I've got a few horses that anyone says it is feminine can come ride. They won't think so after or the next day.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## futuredoctor

jinxremoving said:


> I went through this recently. My sisters husband teaches Mixed Martial Arts and he made a rather obscene comment about male riders to which I replied:
> 
> "What are you talking about? I'm surrounded by mostly fit beautiful girls all day in tight pants while you're wrestling your (male) buddies to the ground and pinning them there?"


1. Good point. I guess that would be a bonus about riding. I've seen a lot of beautiful riders.

2. Not only are they pinning other men down, they're usually in tight clothing.



usandpets said:


> I haven't read all the posts (so far). Do not think riding horses is feminine. At barns and taking lessons, you will find more females. Guys usually don't do the boarding thing or lessons once they learn the basics. In no means does it make it wrong to do either. We only pleasure ride and you will find more guys actually riding out of the barn.
> 
> One thing I haven't seen said yet. Don't worry about what others think (you will figure this out as you get older). When I was your age, I was the same way, worrying about what others think and looking for approval of others (more of my parents but others too). Do what you want. It doesn't matter what others think. If they don't like you for you, too bad for them.
> 
> Start out with lessons to learn the basic control. No matter what type of riding, the basic controls are the same. Then try out riding English and western. Western I think is easier. English is more along the lines for shows, dressage or polo. Western is for working on a ranch or pleasure riding. There are some that go for both.
> 
> I started riding when I was 36. Knowing now the percentages of female vs male, I wish I had gotten into horses earlier, lol. But then I wouldn't be where I am now which I'm happy with.
> 
> So I guess I'm saying "Go for it". It is not a feminine thing. After you ride the first time, you will have sore muscles where you didn't know you had muscles. I've got a few horses that anyone says it is feminine can come ride. They won't think so after or the next day.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks.


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## futuredoctor

I just don't know what to say to my parents.


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## SlideStop

Tell them you'd like to try horseback riding.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## futuredoctor

SlideStop said:


> Tell them you'd like to try horseback riding.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


But they might think I'm gay. Horse riding isn't the sort of thing they'd picture me doing.


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## AnrewPL

Dude, you have to chill out, riding a horse is in no way a reflection on ones sexuality, even if you were gay, who cares, people can get it on with, men, women, men and/or women or even barn yard animals for all I care, assuming its all consensual, and really I'd have thought we (humanity) could have gotten over all the hang ups on that score by now. However if people you know have a problem with people of non-standard sexuality, riding a horse has nothing to do with it. 
You could try an experiment. Go to your nearest Rodeo, climb up onto the chutes during the saddle bronc and question the manliness of all the guys there present and see what type of reaction you get; tell them they all look like they come from Broke Back Mountain, and see hat happens. If you want to strap on to some sort of manly thing, take Dressage for example, if you decide to learn it. Sure, women may be the dominant demographic when it comes to horses now but think about where it originates. I could be wrong, I have never done dressage, though I have been riding horses for over 30 odd years, but I was under the impression that the skills taught in dressage have their origins in the necessity to control a horse in battle and execute extremely fine and coordinated movements that unite horse and rider into one unified killing machine. My own great grand father actually fought in battle from the back of a horse in the first world war as an officer in some British cavalry unit. 
Where I grew up you weren’t a man unless you could ride a horse, if you couldn't, as perhaps as misogynistic as it is, it was believed you should stay at the house “with the women” and cook, not get on a horse and work cattle with “the men”. Yes, it is a good thing that that kind of attitude is a thing of the past, perhaps still taking its time to die in some quarters, but on the way out all the same; after all I know there are a bunch of women on this site who, by the looks of it, could match a man every step of the way working if not better. By the sounds of it you may be making more out of it than there needs to be made. Just go learn to ride and anyone who has a go at you, screw them, its some of the most fun and most rewarding stuff you will ever do.


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## its lbs not miles

freia said:


> Oooo, ooo, I got it. The ultimate response if "the guys" give you a hard time:
> 
> "Oh yeah? If riding is such a girlie-sport, how come we have to wear helmets and flack-jackets?"
> 
> People at the higher levels have quite the work-out regiments as well. I'm hoping some of them will post.


:lol: Actually most of us don't "have to wear helmets....." unless you're a under a certain age (usually around 14-16) in certain states. :lol:
If we did I'd spend most of my money paying fines or most of my time in the county lock-up :lol:
I was over 50 before I even owned a helmet (when my grandchildren wanted to ride).

The shift in more women riding (in general) than men is actually a relatively new thing (those of us who've been riding over 40 years got to witness it). Use to be that women only really had more numbers in certain areas of showing and mostly it was girls up to their very early 20's and younger.
When I first stated riding (ok, I'll date myself here) in 1968 (age 11) there might have been 2 girls in the group of about 8 and they didn't last 6 weeks before they quit.
It's only been in the last 6 or 7 years that a woman (I'm sure more than just one has made it now, but it's still dominated by men) has managed to pass the test to be admitted as a rider at the Spanish Riding School (but in fairness it's a tough test and most men can't pass it either....one of my childhood fantasies as a boy growing up in Deutschland).
Men are still very well represented in Cross country eventing and while I haven't done it in years I'm sure they still make up higher % of riders working cattle.

I blame it on girls though :lol:.
If high school girls hadn't started wanting to ride in nice cars vs wanting the boy to visit them on horseback then more boys would be wanting to ride :lol: (my girl friends were happy to go out in my flatbed farm truck :lol: since we had horses).
Horses are still a "girl magnet" :lol:, but most girls still want a guy with a nice car. And of course the boys haven't quite picked up on the fact that with the cars they are one of many fish in a huge pond being fished by girls. With the horse, while the pond is smaller, they're one of the very few fish in a pond with barely enough shore line for the number of girls crowding around it (and most of the girls are in good shape ).

I can think of far more reasons for a guy to take up riding then I can not to (money being the only reason not to).


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## SlideStop

futuredoctor said:


> But they might think I'm gay. Horse riding isn't the sort of thing they'd picture me doing.


If your not then you have nothing to worry about! I think its really ashame how much we stress what is feminine and masculine and right and wrong. It's nothing more then stereotypes! It has nothing to do with sexuality. If dancing, gymnastics, horseback riding or being a stay at home dad makes a man happy it doesn't make him any less of a man, or gay either!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cacowgirl

Why would that be your first concern? Controlling a large animal that has the ability to seriously harm you (or worse) is not particularly on a gay prson's agenda. Gays are everywhere, but the horse life style may not be their first choice of recreation. I mean no offense to anyone,don't have much life experience on this subject.


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## waresbear

I don't know where you live OP, but in these parts, horseback riding is not viewed as a "gay" activity.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## its lbs not miles

futuredoctor said:


> But they might think I'm gay. Horse riding isn't the sort of thing they'd picture me doing.


While I'm sure there are some, I don't know a single homosexual man who rides (can't say that about women :lol:, but I only know one).

Any male who thinks riding horses isn't something a man should do hasn't seen the "target rich" environment that horseback riding is for men with the excessive number of women riders. And not that you'll need it, but if you want to make yourself even more popular learn to trim feet (they might take you to dinner :lol


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## phoquess

futuredoctor said:


> But they might think I'm gay. Horse riding isn't the sort of thing they'd picture me doing.


Be whoever you are. Do what you want to do. Don't worry about what other people think. And anyway even if horseback riding is "gay" or "feminine" so what? Those aren't inherently bad things... but I think you'll find that the broad category of "equestrian sports" can encompass all sorts of people. If you feel the need to be really masculine you can always get into rodeo and other western disciplines... but you should do what really interests you. Otherwise, what's the point?


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## demonwolfmoon

Honestly, um, one of the first thing that's going to come to most parent's minds isn't "Is my son gay?", but "How much is this going to cost?". 

But then again, I"m not one for gender roles etc....I'm actually hoping to put my daughter in Krav Maga when she's older, because it's B.A. so to speak...think people will "think (she's) gay"? TBH even if they do, I am pretty sure neither one of us will care


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## bsms

If your parents are worried that riding isn't manly enough, show them this website and tell them you would like to ride western. When you are a bit older, you can switch to English if you wish, or take up jumping - which is the most dangerous type of riding, statistically.

Erwin E. Smith Collection Guide | Collection Guide

Samples:








​ 







​ 
I honestly don't think of riding as a male/female thing. It is more like judo - balance and mind. It is also a sport that rewards boldness and courage. Not stupidity...but courage.

And of course, there is jumping, which is for the psychotic shock: :wink:
















​


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## Thrill Ride

Ever considered asking to maybe work at a ranch?

At a ranch you would be able to work with other guys, you would get to ride western (probably), and maybe get paid. 

You probably wouldn't get riding lessons, but I'm sure the other guys would give you tips. 

Not saying there aren't girls on ranches but at least you won't be at a barn dominated by women. haha. In my opinion it would be less stressful, I kind of learned on my own. I had my mom take pictures and I would have my more experienced horsey friends critique them and tell me what to improve on say in my position.

You could even ask to maybe not so volunteer at a ranch but just try it, ranching and riding at a barn is wayyyy different.


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## nvr2many

You ever notice (IMO) that when (some) men cannot do something, they call it girly (my ex was that way)??? Just wanted to throw that out there.


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## jinxremoving

futuredoctor said:


> But they might think I'm gay. Horse riding isn't the sort of thing they'd picture me doing.


Here's my opinion as a (straight) male English rider:

Yes. There is going to be a very small percentage of people who will probably think you are gay. Stereotypes are always going to exist and the world of equestrian sports is no different. The majority of male riders that I personally know are as straight as can be. I obviously know a few gay male riders but they are definitely the minority.

Some disciplines will obviously have more opinions regarding your sexuality than others. If you do a Western discipline, no one will probably ever think you are gay. However, if you pick up dressage or hunter / jumper then there will be some people who have that foolish opinion. I'm not 100% sure where the stereotypes come from with English male riders but I would suspect it has to do with the breeches and tall boots. (You don't have to wear either if you don't want too.)

I ride English (jumper) and was the only guy at my barn for the longest time. Then one of the girls convinced her boyfriend to come, referencing me as a straight male rider since he had the same concerns... and now we have 4 or 5 male riders there and no one thinks any of them are gay. You have to push these silly concerns out of your head and choose a discipline that looks the funnest to you. I delayed my riding career for the exact same reason (worrying what others thought!) and it was one of the biggest regrets...


----------



## Speed Racer

Don't let others define you or allow their opinions to restrict you from doing the things for which you have a passion. I'm not even sure why anyone's sexuality should be considered an issue in ANY sport. It has absolutely nothing to do with their athletic abilities and talents.


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## futuredoctor

I guess I'll just go for it, I'm also a little bit nervous about riding for the first time, I'll probably suck.

I think I will tell my parents that I'm doing it for polo or something.


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## Zeke

I'm with the crowd here telling you to go for it! Yes, you will probably suck at your first lesson but everyone does. Trying something new, be it controlling an animal you've never communicated before or riding a bike is hard the first few times you do it. The rush of actually starting to master controlling your lesson horse and progressing onto bigger and better things however makes all the hard work worth it! 


I work at a barn that gives riding lessons to beginners and we have multiple male riders ranging from ages 6-65 and that is not an exaggeration. Our oldest student is a retired war vet and has a passion for the precision and teamwork required for dressage. He's the sweetest man who brings his wife on the days he doesn't have lessons to give his horse carrots. None of us ever think to question his masculinity, breeches, riding boots, dressage whip and all. Then there is the father and son team I work with personally. They came because the boy had an interest at age 10 and after a few months the father wanted to give it a try. They both love the times I let them canter on trail and they wish I wouldn't yell at them for going so fast! We've had teen boys take lessons from us as we'll. We're fortunate to have more then a handful of internationally ranked gran Prix riders on the property, who are male, to be great role models for our guys. 

If you are so worried about sexuality maybe find a western trainer in your area to start at? Polo is an awesome sport and very rough, it's a contact sport that's for sure, but dont force yourself into a team sport to make it appear you are not gay. Ranch sorting, roping, extreme cowboy...there are some great examples on this page I hope you look at them all. 

I wish you the best of luck. I would hope you're parents love and support you enough to help you try any new things you want. Maybe tech them about the discipline you truly want to try and they'll see few horse sports are for the faint of heart.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## futuredoctor

Zeke said:


> I'm with the crowd here telling you to go for it! Yes, you will probably suck at your first lesson but everyone does. Trying something new, be it controlling an animal you've never communicated before or riding a bike is hard the first few times you do it. The rush of actually starting to master controlling your lesson horse and progressing onto bigger and better things however makes all the hard work worth it!
> 
> ...
> 
> I wish you the best of luck. I would hope you're parents love and support you enough to help you try any new things you want. Maybe tech them about the discipline you truly want to try and they'll see few horse sports are for the faint of heart.


Thanks



jinxremoving said:


> Some disciplines will obviously have more opinions regarding your sexuality than others. If you do a Western discipline, no one will probably ever think you are gay. However, if you pick up dressage or hunter / jumper then there will be some people who have that foolish opinion. I'm not 100% sure where the stereotypes come from with English male riders but I would suspect it has to do with the breeches and tall boots. (You don't have to wear either if you don't want too.)


But If I don't wear breeches and tall boots I won't have the opportunity show off my amazing body.


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## bsms

Yeah, you'll probably suck the first time you ride. Pretty much everyone sucks the first time they ride. Some of us suck longer, too...

There will be plenty of 14 year old girls who will ride better than you for some time. Starting at 50, and lacking any aptitude for riding, there are plenty of 14 year old girls who can ride rings around me. Some of those 14 year old girls were riding as little kids, too.

I rarely ride around others, but I can honestly say no one has ever laughed at me - not to my face, anyways. Every teen girl rider I've run into who found out I liked riding horses thought it was great. I've heard things like, "I wish my Dad would ride with me sometimes". I've never had any female of any age try to discourage me from riding horses.

Well, maybe one. When I was 25, I made an attempt at learning to ride. I only had 8 weeks before the military was going to send me to the Philippines. I took jumping lessons from a very pretty young woman. The lessons, IIRC, consisted of putting me on a variety of horses and jumping a variety of things, helmetless and with no actual instruction. Looking back, she may have been trying to eliminate my genes from the gene pool. I'm surprised I didn't kill myself. It didn't help that I spent more time looking at her than at the jumps...which may have been why she was trying to kill me! :shock:

If you work at it, you won't suck long. That is one of the great things about starting young. Your body won't handicap you with 5 decades of bad habits, tightness and old injuries.


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## TheRoughrider21

If there was a male rider at my barn, there would be a bunch of females, young and old, vying for his attention.  

Honestly, I've only known two guys who ride that are gay. Two. I know a lot more guys who ride that are straight and love all the attention they get from ladies. And if people assume you're gay or girly for riding, f em. Horseback riding is one heck of a sport and we definitely need more guys around.


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## Zeke

Can I ask what part of the country/world you're in? I'm on my phone so seeing the info is a little hard. With how populated this forum is there may be someone here who could refer a good instructor for you. 

I'm in Southern California and know of many barns and a couple riding associations that are very welcoming if that's I any help.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## futuredoctor

TheRoughrider21 said:


> If there was a male rider at my barn, there would be a bunch of females, young and old, vying for his attention.
> 
> Honestly, I've only known two guys who ride that are gay. Two. I know a lot more guys who ride that are straight and love all the attention they get from ladies. And if people assume you're gay or girly for riding, f em. Horseback riding is one heck of a sport and we definitely need more guys around.


I hope so. I guess now the male:female ratio isn't a problem for me anymore. Haha.



Zeke said:


> Can I ask what part of the country/world you're in? I'm on my phone so seeing the info is a little hard. With how populated this forum is there may be someone here who could refer a good instructor for you.
> 
> I'm in Southern California and know of many barns and a couple riding associations that are very welcoming if that's I any help.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Vermont. Near Burlington.


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## QtrBel

It's simple - you open the phone book or google riding lessons and see what's out there. You call and find out what they offer and the cost. If at 17 in your state you need a parent to sign for you to ride you offer to pay and ask for a signature and you RIDE. Then you'll have a better idea of where you want to go and what you want riding provide you with. Even with English lessons those I know that give them will allow for a well fitting pair of jeans and appropriate footwear until you know whether you'll stick with it. GL. Horseback Riding Lessons in Burlington, Vermont. according to this there are 22 from which to choose.


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## flytobecat

soenjer55 said:


> Showing is definitely not "feminine," either. How is training constantly with a 1000+ animal to be the best out of a group at jumping fences or carrying out intricate maneuvers "feminine"? That's like saying ballet is "too feminine" because it is a beautiful performance- but the amount of physical and mental labour put into it to make it beautiful can make a grown man cry.
> Here's something else to think about: horse back riding was, first and foremost, a man's sport. Dressage is the legacy of the war horse. Racing was the sport of kings. Show jumping was the result of fox hunting, and the first competition was made up of military men. If you look at all the riders at the Riding School of Vienna, you will see many, many men. Here in the US, I rarely see men riding english- they mostly ride western. But if you look at countries such as Portugal or Spain, you will see many, many young male riders in show jumping and other english disciplines.


It's odd that so many people think of riding as being feminine when it's been dominated by men for centuries.
I would think your parents would be more concerned with your safety. It can be dangerous, but worth it.


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## futuredoctor

Can a guy learn English style?


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## jinxremoving

futuredoctor said:


> Can a guy learn English style?


Yes, of course.


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## futuredoctor

jinxremoving said:


> Yes, of course.


And it's not weird?


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## Shoebox

You are WAY too worried about what others think of you. Also, gender stereotypes. Who CARES what others think of you? If you let others dictate your life because you're worried about pleasing them you're going to spend your whole life miserable. Besides, if your 'friends' are going to belittle you for what you love doing, they aren't people you want to be friends with. Just be confident in yourself instead of relying on others to be confident in yourself for you. Don't live your life to please anybody but yourself. (This changes slightly once you're married.)

Parents should be supportive. If they think it's weird, so be it. Education them. Prove them wrong. Live to do what YOU want to do, and you'll find yourself not only surrounded by people who share like interests, you'll be happy.

I play rugby. Is it a butch sport for a woman to play? Yep, I've been called a lot of colorful things. Do I give two hoots? NOPE. I love playing, and I'm not going to let anyone stop me because of what they say. Live your life according to you. Not anybody else.


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## freia

futuredoctor said:


> Can a guy learn English style?


We have North America, where the Midwest and West are predominantly riding Western, the East coast is a lot of English riding. Then we have Australia, where they seem to ride anything and everything. Then we have Europe where they ride English - whether they're trail-riding, week-long camping trips, competing, showing, taking first lesson, etc - they're riding English. All the guys are riding English. Guys ride English. All over the world, millions of guys are riding English. 

Here's a pic of the Captain in the cavalry that I learned to ride from, along with my father. Both are definitely riding English. I would dare anyone to question either one's masculinity. Both rode their entire lives in nothing but English saddles, competing in every event imaginable. And the good Captain - he also led his men in a charge against Nazi tanks on his horse (riding English style), so yes it can be done. It is done, has always been done, and there is nothing stopping you except your own doubts. Take at least a month worth of lessons, then decide.


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## phoquess

futuredoctor said:


> And it's not weird?


Weird? Andrew Nicholson recently won the Kentucky Rolex 3-day event. Men regularly compete at the highest levels of any English discipline. 

You'll get farther if you start figuring out what you'd LIKE to do, instead of what you think you "should" do according to some restrictive gender role. You'll enjoy your riding experience much more.


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## futuredoctor

I think I'm going to go for it.


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## nvr2many

Finallyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Awesome!


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## futuredoctor

nvr2many said:


> Finallyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Awesome!


How's Oregon?


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## bsms

There are two broad categories of riding: a forward seat, and a centered seat. Using an English saddle, that would include jumping (forward) and dressage (centered). Using Western, that would include barrel racing (forward) and western pleasure (centered). Forward tends to work well with speed, and centered is easier on a human for sustained riding.

There are also two styles of using the reins: direct (snaffles) and...hmmm.what to call it. Indirect? Neck reining? It isn't uncommon for western riders to use direct reining, although it is rarer for English riders to use leveraged bits.

It is entirely reasonable to switch back & forth. Both work fine. Good riders in all disciplines realize their balance affects the horse's balance and freedom of movement, and adjust their style to what they are trying to achieve.

If you are really weird, or free-thinking - depends on if one wants to be insulted or complimented - then you can mix up tack and still have fun. Below is Mia in an English jump saddle, on a Navajo blanket made of New Zealand wool, with English 1" stirrup straps and Australian 4-bar stirrups using a western style curb bit used with one-handed riding:








​ 
Your horse has no idea what you do in a bedroom or with whom you do it. He (or she, if it is Mia) doesn't care much what type of saddle you use - provided it fits the horse. Some disagree, but I don't think horses care much what type of bit you use, if they are trained to understand it - provided your hands are used correctly.

Some horses do prefer one sex to the other. Mia dislikes girls, although she'll ride fine for a competent girl. She is fine with adult women. Trooper dislikes men (he was once spurred to a bloody mess by a cowboy), but he'll obey a guy who isn't mean to him. One of the things I like about horses is that they don't worry about your clothes, your figure or your age. They don't care if you wear glasses, or not. They sure don't care about your sexual preferences, as long as it doesn't involve them.

Most riders will judge you by how you ride, and if you are trying to ride well or not. A new rider who tries to ride well and care for his horse will be respected, even if he isn't a good rider yet. An experienced rider who doesn't give a rat's rear about her horse will be despised, even if she wins ribbons. Someone who wants to learn will be respected. Someone who knows it all will not.

It may be different in the show world. I've never tried it, so I don't know. But riding horses isn't about being gay, straight, or confused. It isn't about categories. I'm a western rider using a forward seat in an Australian saddle. My horse doesn't care. What my horse cares about is in my signature line:

"a) are you in fluid balance and rhythm with your horse or not? b) does your seat enable you to control your horse efficiently?"

For reading until you take lessons, consider this choice (an odd one for someone who thinks of himself as a western rider):

Hunter Seat Equitation: George H. Morris: 9780385413688: Amazon.com: Books


Also this - the second half is the manual in riding used by the US Cavalry:


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## nvr2many

futuredoctor said:


> How's Oregon?


Oregon is good! Been warm finally.


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## nvr2many

bsms said:


> They sure don't care about your sexual preferences, as long as it doesn't involve them.


OMG, bsms! I was taking a drink of milk when I read this and about choked!!! 
:rofl:


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## subzerofrogi1

An intrest in horses is NOT feminine. My husband is a horse trainer and he shows as well. In fact him and my son(7) are the only ones who have ever shown a horse before.while my 3 daughters and I are content to trail ride and ride around the barn.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## subzerofrogi1

And if I were you I would check out some different shows in your area to see if that kind of riding would be what you would like to do.( gaited,jumpers,barrel racers,etc.)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## futuredoctor

After you're done lessons, is there a way to ride horses without owning one?


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## jinxremoving

futuredoctor said:


> After you're done lessons, is there a way to ride horses without owning one?


You can lease a horse... but one is never really "done" lessons. It's a never ending learning process, even for seasoned riders.


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## soenjer55

futuredoctor said:


> After you're done lessons, is there a way to ride horses without owning one?


Yes, you can lease. There are different types of leasing that involve different amounts of responsibility from the leaser, and it can still vary from person to person, but basically leasing is when you pay to use a horse. Sometimes it's more like owning them for a certain period of time, sometimes the most you get to do is ride them on certain days of the week, it all depends on what the contract between you and the horse's owner says. You pay a certain amount of money to have those rights to the horse for a certain amount of time, essentially. 
I definitely recommend leasing before buying. It gives you a taste of what it's like to own before you commit fully, and it's more cost effective. Sometimes people buy the horse after a lease, if they really like them, too.


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## futuredoctor

And how much does leasing usually cost?


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## QtrBel

Depends on what is included in the lease. They can be really inexpensive or really expensive and everything in between. If the lease doesn't include feed and board you have to figure that in too.


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## soenjer55

When you have time, you might want to go and browse horse ads in your area to see what horses are selling and leasing for. I always try to keep a decent idea of what the market is around me, just in case- then, when you're feeling ready, you can make a really good pitch to your parents. That's what I did, lol.


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## futuredoctor

Slightly off topic:
How can you get involved in horse racing?


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## SlideStop

Yes, you can lease a horse. The terms vary, you can do anything from 2 days to a full lease (6 day). Cost will vary depending on the training the horse has. It will be cheap to lease a horse to putt around on then a horse who is showing and winning at rated show. If you lease from private owners they may require you take 1 or 2 lessons a week with their trainer or share in the cost of vet/farrier bills. If you lease a lesson horse they may just charge a single flat fee. The combinations are ENDLESS with leading. 

Another way to go about it is catch riding. If you build a good reputation and ride well a barn my let you school (brush up training) or exercise their lesson horses. Get in good with owners and they may let you jump on their horses when they can't make it. Opportunities ARE there, you just have to find them!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jinxremoving

futuredoctor said:


> And how much does leasing usually cost?


I know people who spend $350 a month leasing random school horses all the way up to to several thousand a month for a decent show horse. It's going to depend on where you live, your barn, the type of horse, the training and what you want to do with it.


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## futuredoctor

This is a purely opinion question:

What do you think looks good on male riders? Pictures and/or links are helpful.


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## TheRoughrider21

Sugar, you're worrying way too much about what other people think. I mean, you should see how I look when I go to the barn somedays, and then leaving I usually look worse. Personally, I love a man in good fitting Wranglers, a button up, cowboy boots, and a ball cap or cowboy hat. But, that's just me. It doesn't really matter what you wear when you're riding, none of us really care. And the horses sure as hell don't, and that's all you should be concerned about.


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## bsms

futuredoctor said:


> T...What do you think looks good on male riders? Pictures and/or links are helpful.


Farmer's tan:








​ 
Quality jeans and T-shirts distinguish the well-dressed equestrian!








​ 
That 'hat within a hat' look never goes out of style:








​ 
Seriously?

I like to see helmets, although I'm a huge believer in letting folks decide for themselves to wear them or not.

Boots with a heel are always a good thing. I believe HF can provide you with pictures of what the foot looks like after a horse steps on it while bare.

My $15.88 jeans are fine by me, and I continue -even at my age - to think a good looking gal looks great in comfortable jeans and a sweatshirt or T-shirt. But I have no objection if men prefer the Ronald Reagan look instead:



















I may not be secure enough in my masculinity to imitate Roy:​









If I had a horse that looked like Trigger, I might give it a try! But I'd make sure my revolver was loaded...​


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## futuredoctor

The Reagan look actually isn't that bad IMO. Neither is the Tshirt and Jeans.


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## freia

futuredoctor said:


> This is a purely opinion question:
> 
> What do you think looks good on male riders? Pictures and/or links are helpful.


Breeches, boots, and nothing else :lol:

Sorry, I couldn't resist. A girl's allowed to dream.

It's not about how you look. It;s about how you enjoy the ride.

If you're not showing, whatever is comfortable. I will warn you that if you ride English, jeans are not comfortable. That seam in the crotch really gets you. Breeches are very comfy English. If you don't like the look, the newer ones on the market now really do come in a lot of styles to make you feel as comfortable as possible. I'm not that familiar with Western. But in English, you will want either tall boots (expensive, and I think uncomfortable) or paddock-boots with half-chaps. This combo basically looks like a tall boots, but gives more versatility regards to fit and comfort. You have to protect your calf in English, or your calf can get caught between the stirrup-leather and the saddle-flap, which is very painful. Now there's something that can make you scream like a little girl. So guys don't wear the breeches and boots to look cool, or weird, or gay. There's a very good reason for them. Personally, I think guys in breeches and boots are hot. Jeans and cowboy boots is pretty hot too.

You should see what I wore today. Even my non-horsey, fashion-challenged husband did a double-take: I have riding tights with an odd purple inset at the thigh (they were closeouts - but oh-so-comfy), then I have a tie-dye purple-and khaki top (also very comfy, and it's SFP), and my purple Kerrits cap with little stampeding horses on it to hide my helmet-hair. Coupled with my tall boots, I'm not sure I'm fit to pump gas in this gettup. But it sure is comfy, I had a superb ride, and the horse really didn't seem to care one bit. I can tell you that cantering through the woods, on a steep, rocky trail, feeling the wind and mane whipping in my face - I truly don't care what I look like - 'cause it feels GOOD!

Am I the only person here who would love to have a beer with BSMS sometime? I have blown so may drinks through my nose reading those posts! Thanks for the laughs.


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## its lbs not miles

futuredoctor said:


> Slightly off topic:
> How can you get involved in horse racing?


Depends on the kind of racing you want to do (there is multiple kinds of racing done with horses....avoid the TB racing industry).


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## futuredoctor

its lbs not miles said:


> Depends on the kind of racing you want to do (there is multiple kinds of racing done with horses....avoid the TB racing industry).


Any kind I guess. Is the TB industry where all the gambling is?


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## Fort fireman

Ok, here are some of my pointers. Its already been said a bunch but I'll say it again. Stop sweating the small stuff.ie. what you look like, what people will think. take a few lessons and see how you like it. You may take a few and realize it isn't for you. if you like it then you can start deciding what direction you would like to go with it. English, western and then narrow it down farther to a specific event or "speciality". Somethings you absolutely have to have is a pair of boots with a heel( for safety)and a helmet though optional is recomended for starting out. That and the willingness to learn which ussually requires screwing up from time to time. So again stop worrying about what you look like. at some point in your riding career you WILL look stupid.

I was about 10 when i stated riding(western). I liked cowboy stuff and riding just went with it. When I moved down here i got a side job at a hunter jumper barn. I worked there for about 8 years. _I_t was great and I learned a ton. I ended up getting paid to ride other peoples horses. It was also great for the same reason alot of people already mentioned. A 21 yr old hanging around with a bunch of single girls in the tight riding pants and all. It was GOOD! Anyway, I then moved to being a trail guide for about 5 years and helped alot with shows and such. Set up and tearing down. That is where I met my wife and now we have 3 horses, our own property and a little girl and one on the way. Horses and the horseman( I use horseman very lightly in my case) lifestyle has been very good to me. I highly recommend it.
Oh and I'm pretty sure no one has mistaken me for gay but I could be wrong. :shock: I really don't give a flying flip either.


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## futuredoctor

I'm going to do it, but I still feel kind of awkward about telling my parents.


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## its lbs not miles

futuredoctor said:


> This is a purely opinion question:
> 
> What do you think looks good on male riders? Pictures and/or links are helpful.


Worry less about "what looks good" :lol:.
Go for what feels good and serves the purpose.
Where you ride can influence what you wear.
e.g. I only ride outside and I want to keep the sun off so I wear a hat with a wide brim.
Summers I like silk shirts and I even have silk pants since they are much cooler (even the mornings and evenings are hot and humid...the rest of the day is more brutal than I care to subject my horses to).


Rest of the year a pair of jeans or khaki pants. Any cotton long sleeve shirt works well. Good, durable jacket or coat if needed.

If I'm going into wooded or rough areas I wear leggings. For riding around home boots could be ok, but I wear comfortable walking shoes or hiking boots (if you're several miles out and something happen so you find yourself walking back then riding boots just "ain't going to cut it" :lol

Bottom line though is wear what works for you. You're having to wear it and function in it so you'll soon find that being comfort and functionality trumps appearance (the girls will still be interested even if you're in a kilt or a kimono :lol: as long as you're on a horse :lol


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## TheRoughrider21

futuredoctor said:


> I'm going to do it, but I still feel kind of awkward about telling my parents.


Don't feel awkward. You're 17. There's a lot worse things you could be doing than wanting to ride horses. You'll be fine, and I don't think they'll be as...weird as you think. I've been riding since I was like 6. the only thing my parents get upset about it how expensive horses are, but they don't have to worry about that anymore. It's all on me now lol


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## futuredoctor

TheRoughrider21 said:


> Don't feel awkward. You're 17. There's a lot worse things you could be doing than wanting to ride horses. You'll be fine, and I don't think they'll be as...weird as you think. I've been riding since I was like 6. the only thing my parents get upset about it how expensive horses are, but they don't have to worry about that anymore. It's all on me now lol


For me it's just because most of my interests have been academic, not sport. They might find my interest a little odd.

Do you know any guys who ride?


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## its lbs not miles

futuredoctor said:


> Any kind I guess. Is the TB industry where all the gambling is?


The TB racing industry is what most people think of when they think of "betting on the horses", but you can bet on any race.
TB industry is likely the most abusive racing. Largely because the horses are being raced too young (but that's a different topic). It's also a very expensive racing to get into.
You might find competitive trail riding interesting, but I'd focus on learning to ride first. You'll have plenty of time to look into all the different things to do while you're learning.
(after all you do see me riding at the Spanish Riding School in Vienna :lol:.....I don't even do anything resembling that kind of riding anymore)


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## futuredoctor

its lbs not miles said:


> The TB racing industry is what most people think of when they think of "betting on the horses", but you can bet on any race.
> TB industry is likely the most abusive racing. Largely because the horses are being raced too young (but that's a different topic). It's also a very expensive racing to get into.
> You might find competitive trail riding interesting, but I'd focus on learning to ride first. You'll have plenty of time to look into all the different things to do while you're learning.
> (after all you do see me riding at the Spanish Riding School in Vienna :lol:.....I don't even do anything resembling that kind of riding anymore)


Isn't the Spanish Riding school very proper english style riding?


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## its lbs not miles

futuredoctor said:


> Isn't the Spanish Riding school very proper english style riding?


It's a combination of old mounted combat horse movements combined with some very stylized riding to put on a show using different Cav commands from a bygone era. It's truly incredible to watch. There use to be several riding schools in Europe in the 1800's, but the Spanish Riding School is the only one that remains. Their original purpose became obsolete, but the one has survived to provide a look at a style of military riding that came out of the Renaissance in Europe.


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## freia

I think that one thing that might be tripping you up, is that you haven't been around horses much, or certainly not ridden much. Perhaps, being "on the outside looking in", you might have the impression that it's a group type of thing, or a team-sport, or a certain type of culture. And for some people, that may be the case.

For me, and all of my fellow riders that I ride with or share ideas with, the reality is very different. Once you start riding, you realize that there is a real connection to be made with a 1000 pound animal, that you can communicate with each other, that you can almost feel like one being, and that together you can do incredibly athletic and complex feats. Or you can enjoy a beautiful afternoon in the countryside together (I call this "therapy"), or you can feel an incredible sense of accomplishment when you and your horse conquer a fear or master a new skill.
When you become a real horseman, what becomes important is the experience between you and the horse, not the experience or opinions of other people.

I just looked through some images online, which I'm too tired to post right now. But just visualize these in your head:
- Two football players in sheer tights grabbing each other's butts to congratulate each other - generally considered macho
- A baseball player in tight pants grabbing his crotch - macho
- 2 wrestlers in spandex writhing about grabbing each others' sweaty bodies - macho
- Dusty, dirty, grimy cowboy on a huge Quarter Horse wrangling lost calves out of a gully - girly according to your parents?
- Incredibly fit man is breeches and tall boots going over a 4-foot jump on a 1000 pound animal capable of killing him with one misplaced step, landing in a shallow pond and getting covered in mud, then continue to do more of the same for 5 more miles - girly?

We can help you with giving you information to let you know what this sport is really about. But we can't help you with your parents' perceptions. Have they ever actually told you that they think riding is a feminine sport? Anyone who knows anything about the sport knows it isn't. And if they really do think it's feminine, would they be open to see some of the information we've shared with you to open their minds a bit? And if they actually do think it's feminine, would they care?


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## futuredoctor

I don't think my parents think that, I'm just worried about what other riders at "the barn" will think, or my peers at school.


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## TheRoughrider21

futuredoctor said:


> For me it's just because most of my interests have been academic, not sport. They might find my interest a little odd.
> 
> Do you know any guys who ride?


Well, personally, I believe that horseback riding is the best sport to get into. 

I know a lot of guys who ride. My ex-boyfriend is a NH trainer who won the Extreme Mustang Makeover one year. My old trainer was a male (though gay). Another one of my friends is a really great dressage rider (gay as well lol), and there's at least a dozen other guys that I hang around with who at least trail ride occasionally.


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## soenjer55

Outfit wise? Wear what you want- a t-shirt is perfectly fine for a top (I would get sports ones, I stole my brother's rugby sports shirt to ride in and he never got it back), and for the first few lessons, a good pair of jeans works. For english, I suggest getting breeches eventually. Also, I've heard from multiple sources that it's not a good idea for a man to ride in boxers...
Gear- wise? Generally, I would say that you will need a helmet and a good pair of boots. Some places will provide the helmet, at least for the first few lessons, but eventually you will need to buy your own. You will need riding boots. Some places will let you ride for the first lesson or two in a shoe that has a heel, but I would get your own pair of boots at least- its a safety thing. Try not to hold out when you're buying them- you do not want cheap knock-off boots. "Equestrian looking things" is a style right now, so there are tons and tons of $15 dollar riding outfit knock offs on the market, stuff that looks surprisingly like real riding stuff...
You can order paddock boots (and half chaps, if you're going english) online. I usually use Dover Saddlery - Quality English Horse Tack & Horse Supplies You could also get tall boots, but I wouldn't do that now. They're expensive and uncomfortable, not to mention hard to fit (at least for me, I have calves like Captain America and legs as short as a munchkin cat... exaggerated but you get the problem.) You only really need tall boots if you're showing in an english discipline. I suggest paddocks. You can find pretty much everything you'll need on Dover, including breeches and helmets. Try to do a little research on each item- look at reviews, etc. If ordering online doesn't work, you can always go old fashioned and find a tack shop in the area where you can buy these things to try on before buying.
If you're going western, paddock boots are okay, but you'll probably want a pair of cowboy boots/ western boots... and for this, I will emphasize: _no knock-offs. _There are so many crappy commercial cowboy boots out there that are great for prancing down a side walk in, but if you use them around horses, they're going to fall apart from all the wear and tear and won't protect your toes from any incoming hooves. 
I've personally always ridden in Ariats, as they make boots for both english and western and are darn good either way.
Whatever you do, make sure that when you find a trainer, contact them and ask what they want you to show up in for your first lesson and what you'll need to have. Don't be afraid to ask them about anything you're not sure about.


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## futuredoctor

So do guys generally wear boxer-briefs, boxers, briefs, or just go freestyle?


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## flytobecat

bsms said:


> ​
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Whatever works:
> 
> Do you like horses?
> Do you have a sense of adventure?
> Do you try hard?
> Are you brave enough to take charge even when you are terrified?
> Can you laugh at yourself when you screw up?
> Well then maybe this for you?


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## futuredoctor

flytobecat said:


> Whatever works:
> 
> Do you like horses?
> Do you have a sense of adventure?
> Do you try hard?
> Are you brave enough to take charge even when you are terrified?
> Can you laugh at yourself when you screw up?
> Well then maybe this for you?


1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes
4. Yes
5. Sometimes. :lol:


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## Fort fireman

Don't go free ballin!!!! That just opens all kind of doors for bad things to happen. Especially in jeans. I like boxer briefs( sorry if that TMI for anyone).
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## futuredoctor

Haha. I wear boxer-briefs and boxers about 50/50 so I'll just remember to wear boxer-briefs when riding.


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## QtrBel

The barn my son rides in has a hired hand that wears well fitting but comfortable jeans and a tshirt in the event the tasks he's assigned ruins it and a pair of steel toe boots. How he LOOKS in them is totally secondary as they are functional for what he is doing - cleaning stalls, exercising, feeding, cleaning tack, landscaping, clean up the jumps, weeding the garden, painting, fixing fence, the list goes on. When he rides for lessons he wears a pair of older breeches that aren't up to show wear and again a tshirt. Shows - whatever the classes he is in has set. Again his LOOKS are secondary (but I will say he looks pretty good) to the task. Riding is about YOU and the HORSE - not YOU and whomever may be watching you unless it is your instructor and she/he is looking FOR form not AT form. At home my son dresses similarly for what he is doing for that period in time. Safety is the objective. Nothing loose fitting and always appropriate foot wear for the task.


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## futuredoctor

QtrBel said:


> The barn my son rides in has a hired hand that wears well fitting but comfortable jeans and a tshirt in the event the tasks he's assigned ruins it and a pair of steel toe boots. How he LOOKS in them is totally secondary as they are functional for what he is doing - cleaning stalls, exercising, feeding, cleaning tack, landscaping, clean up the jumps, weeding the garden, painting, fixing fence, the list goes on. When he rides for lessons he wears a pair of older breeches that aren't up to show wear and again a tshirt. Shows - whatever the classes he is in has set. Again his LOOKS are secondary (but I will say he looks pretty good) to the task. Riding is about YOU and the HORSE - not YOU and whomever may be watching you unless it is your instructor and she/he is looking FOR form not AT form. At home my son dresses similarly for what he is doing for that period in time. Safety is the objective. Nothing loose fitting and always appropriate foot wear for the task.


I'm curious, how old is your son?


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## QtrBel

My son is 9, the hired hand is 17. They both do roughly the same work. The hired hand for $$, lessons and ride time. My son because this is his future if he chooses. Though he also gets paid a small amt, rides whenever time permits and I have him in lessons with someone else as he is at the age where he will benefit most from someone else improving on the skills he has. It is also social as he gets to ride with both male and females that are interested in the same. He rides English for lessons and whatever saddle happens to be closest or none if he so chooses here.


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## futuredoctor

Well folks, quick update.

It's official, I just sent an email to the local barn requesting my first private lesson.


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## Sunny

Good! We need more recreational male riders, especially male English riders.

At least we do here. :lol:


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## futuredoctor

Sunny said:


> Good! We need more recreational male riders, especially male English riders.
> 
> At least we do here. :lol:


Okay good, I think I will try to learn English. It looks nice.


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## Sunny

Best of luck to you.


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## Critter sitter

I know of one Gay rider. Also they have the National GAY Rodeo here every year 
So OP if you are Gay you can come to Nebraska and Rodeo..
I have never been But there ya go..
I think you are spending so much time worrying what others will think your liable to run in to a wall trying to see what everyone is saying about you.


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## equiniphile

If you're interested in eventing, dressage or show jumping, I highly recommend joining the United States Pony Club if there's one in your area. It's incredibly helpful and fun. Our region's highest rated member (an HA) is a guy, and he's very well-respected. You wouldn't be out of place at all joining Pony Club. The great thing about it is that you can be a member until you're 25, so you won't be booted out at your 18th birthday like a lot of youth clubs.

Just remember that riding is in no way a feminine sport. It is HARD work (just wait until you start working on posting without stirrups....), but very rewarding. Don't be afraid to pursue showing if it interests you!


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## futuredoctor

I'm not gay, but I will be learning English.


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## its lbs not miles

futuredoctor said:


> I'm not gay, but I will be learning English.


And feel free to switch if you don't care for it or want to take up riding that the Hungarian/German saddle design ("English" is not what it really is....but the UP military saddle is :lol doesn't do as well at.
I switched after 3 years and never looked back :lol:, but the saddle and style didn't work well (in some cases not at all) for the kind of riding I went to.
It's a good place to start though (easier to do my old instructors exersizes with the European saddle and those excersizes were great for developing balance and confidence). Although they are super easy to do with the UP military style saddles too (I just didn't have one back then).


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## futuredoctor

I need boots! Help!


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## soenjer55

Riding Boots and Chaps - Equestrian Footwear | Dover Saddlery
Men's paddock boots on Dover. You can also look up any local tack shops and see if they carry boots, so that you can try them on first.
Riding Boots and Chaps - Equestrian Footwear | Dover Saddlery
Half chaps on Dover. Again, you can look up local tack shops to see if they carry them, too. 
Dover has size charts for the half chaps, too- if you click on the one you're interested in and scroll down the page, there's a tab that says "size chart" right next to "customer reviews".


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## SlideStop

Critter sitter said:


> I know of one Gay rider. Also they have the National GAY Rodeo here every year
> So OP if you are Gay you can come to Nebraska and Rodeo..
> I have never been But there ya go..
> I think you are spending so much time worrying what others will think your liable to run in to a wall trying to see what everyone is saying about you.


... Why have I never heard of this?!?!? :shock:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## futuredoctor

soenjer55 said:


> Riding Boots and Chaps - Equestrian Footwear | Dover Saddlery
> Men's paddock boots on Dover. You can also look up any local tack shops and see if they carry boots, so that you can try them on first.
> Riding Boots and Chaps - Equestrian Footwear | Dover Saddlery
> Half chaps on Dover. Again, you can look up local tack shops to see if they carry them, too.
> Dover has size charts for the half chaps, too- if you click on the one you're interested in and scroll down the page, there's a tab that says "size chart" right next to "customer reviews".


What should I wear with those? Do jeans and a polo work?


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## updownrider

I think Woodstock, VT is about 1.5 hours from you. Explore this website for ideas. Welcome To GMHA | The Green Mountain Horse Association, Inc.

I know I am about to get yelled at since Facebook is a dirty word on this board, but you are 17 so you most likely have an account. I know of no better resource in VT than the Tamarack Hill Farm page if you want to learn about the history of horses. You will see a lot of men riding in many different disciplines. Denny Emerson is a wealth of knowledge and does a wonderful job of keeping his page updated.


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## jinxremoving

updownrider said:


> I think Woodstock, VT is about 1.5 hours from you. Explore this website for ideas. Welcome To GMHA | The Green Mountain Horse Association, Inc.
> 
> I know I am about to get yelled at since Facebook is a dirty word on this board, but you are 17 so you most likely have an account. I know of no better resource in VT than the Tamarack Hill Farm page if you want to learn about the history of horses. You will see a lot of men riding in many different disciplines. Denny Emerson is a wealth of knowledge and does a wonderful job of keeping his page updated.


Denny Emerson is awesome!


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## soenjer55

futuredoctor said:


> What should I wear with those? Do jeans and a polo work?


As long as the jeans will fit comfortably under the half chaps, yes. Before I had breeches, I rode in jeans, but they had to be bootcuts and more form-fitting (no loose or baggy jeans, not necessarily skinny jeans) or else all the fabric would be uncomfortable/ not fit under the half chaps. Maybe try to get a lighter denim, still heavy enough to work in but not too thick.


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## its lbs not miles

futuredoctor said:


> I need boots! Help!


Why do you need boots? Unless you're going for a "look" or competing in something that requires them.
45 years have taught me that if I need the leg protection a good pair of leggings (I prefer WW I military style used by mounted troops) and comfortable shoes work great (better than boots). But there's probably not many or any shows that allow them (not that ever mattered to me :lol.


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## updownrider

its lbs not miles said:


> Why do you need boots? Unless you're going for a "look" or competing in something that requires them.
> 45 years have taught me that if I need the leg protection a good pair of leggings (I prefer WW I military style used by mounted troops) and comfortable shoes work great (better than boots). But there's probably not many or any shows that allow them (not that ever mattered to me :lol.


A proper riding boot is not for a "look" it is for safety. You want a boot with a heel and preferably a tread, one that is designed to not allow a foot to slip through a stirrup. But a big heavy boot or shoe may be too wide for a stirrup or leave little room and a foot could get caught or trapped in a stirrup, something that no one ever wants to happen.


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## equiniphile

I suggest Ariat paddock boots and half chaps. They can be pricey ($100+ each new) but they will hold up to a lot of use and last you a long time. As far as pants go, be sure to ask the stable exactly what they require. Most stables around here require breeches, but jeans may be acceptable, depending on the facility. 

Make sure you buy a new helmet that meets all safety standards (ASTM/SEI I believe) and replace it every five years or after every fall - whichever comes first

Gloves may be required or optional, depending on the barn. Again, ask the trainer what (s)he would like his/her students wearing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## futuredoctor

its lbs not miles said:


> Why do you need boots? Unless you're going for a "look" or competing in something that requires them.
> 45 years have taught me that if I need the leg protection a good pair of leggings (I prefer WW I military style used by mounted troops) and comfortable shoes work great (better than boots). But there's probably not many or any shows that allow them (not that ever mattered to me :lol.


People have been telling me to buy boots before my first lesson.


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## its lbs not miles

updownrider said:


> A proper riding boot is not for a "look" it is for safety. You want a boot with a heel and preferably a tread, one that is designed to not allow a foot to slip through a stirrup. But a big heavy boot or shoe may be too wide for a stirrup or leave little room and a foot could get caught or trapped in a stirrup, something that no one ever wants to happen.


I was told all that too, and I haven't worn riding boots while riding in over 35 (close to 40) years now. Never had the first problem in all that time. The protection part would be true except that my leggings actually do a better job for my legs and the shoes are WAY more comfortable than any riding boot. There is plenty of foot gear (other than riding boots) that work fine with a stirrup.

Boots are like a lot of things that people have clung to from the past (although the military started moving away from in the late 1800's when they started using more leggings with ankle type boots, but boots where still around....especially with the officers...."traditions" die hard). Lets face it, they still have swords :lol:, and while you can still kill someone with one you'd be hard pressed to argue that it's a needed weapon for the military. Mounted troops rode more than enough to discover if there was a problem or safety issue with walking boots and leggings.
"Boots" are really all about clinging to a style or a tradition. Not that there is anything wrong with liking a style/look or wanting to follow a tradition. Doesn't mean it's needed though, when there are things that do the job just as well (or in my experience, better).
But if you find a riding boot that protects my legs better than my Austrailian WW I leggings (US made a very similar and equally good leggings too, but later I had better access to the Austrailian ones) and feel as comfortable walking 10 miles in as my foot gear then do let me know 
And unless things have changed dramatically since I was taught to ride (unlikely even after 45 years) what protection do you need when you're riding around an arena that any appropriate pair of foot gear doesn't provide? 
I wore boots and liked the look (especially on the lady who taught me to ride, along with her tight riding pants :lol, but when I started really working on horseback, riding long distances along with spending time working dismounted, etc... riding boots (even "cowboy boots") did not measure up to good shoes or walking boots and military leggings. One of the many things I quickly learned from some of my older family members who never wore any kind of riding boot.
It depends on what you plan to do. If you're going to always do arena riding and never ride out very far so that walking very far would never be a possibility then boots might work ok.

OP you can probably still find some new, surplus riding boots with military surplus sales under some foreign military surplus. I'm sure there are online places that sell them. e.g. the old Soviet Union officers were still wearing riding boots (complete with the slightly higher front on top) right up until the end so there should be loads of them still available. An uncle of mine picked up a pair in the 90's when he needed some riding boots for an event that required the boot (for historical look). I think my oldest son has them now (he loves the look, but doesn't ride :lol


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## futuredoctor

Ugh it's been 18 hours since I sent the email. They probably don't accept males.


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## Sunny

You need to take a chill pill.

I highly doubt a barn would not accept a male. Quite unlikely.


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## QtrBel

I agree a chill pill is inorder. These if the c/p works these are boots we have and use. My son rides English for lessons and if he sticks with it will be getting something more English style but I don't see the need to buy something specifically for one purpose. It has been repeated several times by several members that you need a good pair of boots (shoes will do in a pinch) that have a decent tread (no heavy lug) and a 1 inch heel for safety.

​ I have the above Terrrain by Ariat and use them for trails whether walking or riding. They replaced my asolos that I wore for work,riding and hiking for 20+ years - almost indestructible. I have the one’s below for general farm work and riding. They wouldn’t kill me if I had to walk miles in them.​ 
This is what my son rides in and wears to work around the farm as well as to school.


I think it is one of their roper styles.It may not post the pics but should post a link. Now I also have paddock boots and halfs as well as tall boots but I did show for years in college and they were a necessity. You are not there yet. Give them time to respond or call and see if you can take a tour as well as set up lessons. I also seem to remember there were 22 listings maybe try another. As with anything it may take a visit or two before you find a barn you are comfortable with.


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## soenjer55

I disagree, lbs not miles. Boots aren't a relic from the past with no actual use for today- they are designed specifically for not just riding, but being around horses in general.
Once a pair of boots are broken in, they're perfectly comfortable for running around in. Trust me, I know, lol. They may not be as comfortable as shoes meant for walking, and you may not be able to go on a day-long hike, but you're not going to be doing too much walking if you're taking a horse lesson or riding a horse at all, really.
Riding boots also have a steel plate for your toes, which is important. I've had enough large horses stomp on my feet to know how important it is- I have a permanent dent in one pair of boots that would have been a broken toe or two if I hadn't had it. 
Also, I think you're thinking of tall boots- the ones that go to the knee. Paddock boots only go to the ankle. They're reasonably priced, and, if you get a good brand, will last a long time with minimal to no care. One pair of Ariats has lasted for almost ten years and went through three people, with no care at all. The shoe laces were replaced frequently, and they don't look pretty, but they're perfectly functional and are still our spare pair.
Another thing is that most places I know of will not let you ride without proper boots. It's a safety thing, as they're designed specifically to be in a stirrup _and _have steel toes. I know many, many places that won't even let you around a horse without proper boots.
Honestly, if you're going to shell out the money, you may as well get boots meant for horses and riding. Maybe not right away, but you will have to eventually. The most important thing right now is to ask your instructor what they want you to have on, though, OP. Like I said, there are places that will let you ride in what you have for the first few lessons, and there are places that won't let you near the horses without proper footwear.


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## bsms

The idea behind the boot with a heel is to prevent your foot from slipping thru the stirrup, which would be very bad if it happened when you were tossed. Being dragged would be scary stuff. There are some other ways of solving the problem, 










but boots also offer more protection to the foot when stepped on than sneakers.


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## nvr2many

This thread kinda makes me feel like someone I do not know called me up and says "so, what are you wearing right now?". :shock:


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## futuredoctor

nvr2many said:


> This thread kinda makes me feel like someone I do not know called me up and says "so, what are you wearing right now?". :shock:


What _are_ you wearing right now?


----------



## its lbs not miles

soenjer55 said:


> I disagree, lbs not miles. Boots aren't a relic from the past with no actual use for today- they are designed specifically for not just riding, but being around horses in general.
> Once a pair of boots are broken in, they're perfectly comfortable for running around in. Trust me, I know, lol. They may not be as comfortable as shoes meant for walking, and you may not be able to go on a day-long hike, but you're not going to be doing too much walking if you're taking a horse lesson or riding a horse at all, really.
> Riding boots also have a steel plate for your toes, which is important. I've had enough large horses stomp on my feet to know how important it is- I have a permanent dent in one pair of boots that would have been a broken toe or two if I hadn't had it.
> Also, I think you're thinking of tall boots- the ones that go to the knee. Paddock boots only go to the ankle. They're reasonably priced, and, if you get a good brand, will last a long time with minimal to no care. One pair of Ariats has lasted for almost ten years and went through three people, with no care at all. The shoe laces were replaced frequently, and they don't look pretty, but they're perfectly functional and are still our spare pair.
> Another thing is that most places I know of will not let you ride without proper boots. It's a safety thing, as they're designed specifically to be in a stirrup _and _have steel toes. I know many, many places that won't even let you around a horse without proper boots.
> Honestly, if you're going to shell out the money, you may as well get boots meant for horses and riding. Maybe not right away, but you will have to eventually. The most important thing right now is to ask your instructor what they want you to have on, though, OP. Like I said, there are places that will let you ride in what you have for the first few lessons, and there are places that won't let you near the horses without proper footwear.


 
You are free to disagree :lol:, but if you're going to disagree you really shouldn't make my point for me.
A. "They may not be as comfortable as shoes meant for walking" You can add walking boots to that and I think I said the same thing already.
B. "you're not going to be doing too much walking if you're taking a horse lesson..." I think I said something along the same lines "If you're going to always do arena riding and never ride out very far so that walking very far would never be a possibility then boots might work ok"
However, if you do any serous riding that involves traveling a lot of miles you'll probably want to spend some time giving your horse a break by dismounting, loosening the cinch and walking them on a lead for a few miles during the day (or maybe not, depending on how hard you want to work your horse). If you do you'll be much happier with the comfortable walking foot gear that works equally well for riding vs riding boots.

I've had my feet stepped on plenty too (anyone who works with horses long enough can say that) and since most riding boots do not have steel toes they wouldn't have helped.
Ankle paddock boots are not "riding" boots anymore than my combat boots were (although my combat boots made excellent boots for riding), but plenty of ankle boots have steel toes. Unless you're saying that a boot you ride in is a "riding" boot, but that would have made my combat boots "riding" boots.
I've have well broken in riding boots (they look nice even if I don't ride with them), but after 10 years and being well broken in they're not as comfortable a pair of combat boots after 3 months of breaking in. Riding boots are never perfectly comfortable for running around it (unless you're not really "running" around and not doing very much). Trust me I know :lol:, that's why I followed the lead of other horsemen who knew before me and didn't wear "riding" boots.
My walking boots fit in the stirrup just as nicely as the riding boots so I don't see where there's any benefit to a riding boot (having a heel is not something unique to riding boots). Certainly not for safety or comfort (that just leaves "looks" and "tradition")
To date I've never had a problem riding anywhere with my foot gear and I doubt seriously if I ever would, since I usually were what was good enough for mounted troops 100 years ago. Although I have been places where my leggings got a lot of interest, but always of a positive nature. No one has ever questioned the boots I wear even though they aren't "riding" boots.

Most riding boots do not reach the knee. Somewhere around 14" if I remember correctly and that's well short of the knee (16" is still short of the knee). Although they do make them higher (usually for higher price) and they also make some closer to 12" (like most cowboy boots). But yes, those make up the bulk of the riding boots. Look at the foot gear on the competitors in most of the show, eventing, etc... circuits. High boots.

Nothing wrong with it. It's the traditional look/style and it works for what they are doing. If they stepped into the world of my riding for a few months they'd be wearing something different before very long :lol:, but many would switch back for their other riding.


----------



## soenjer55

its lbs not miles said:


> You are free to disagree :lol:, but if you're going to disagree you really shouldn't make my point for me.
> A. "They may not be as comfortable as shoes meant for walking" You can add walking boots to that and I think I said the same thing already. *They're not as comfortable, but my point was that they were still plenty comfortable enough to walk around in, once broken in, for the amount of walking he is going to be doing.*
> B. "you're not going to be doing too much walking if you're taking a horse lesson..." I think I said something along the same lines "If you're going to always do arena riding and never ride out very far so that walking very far would never be a possibility then boots might work ok"
> However, if you do any serous riding that involves traveling a lot of miles you'll probably want to spend some time giving your horse a break by dismounting, loosening the cinch and walking them on a lead for a few miles during the day (or maybe not, depending on how hard you want to work your horse). If you do you'll be much happier with the comfortable walking foot gear that works equally well for riding vs riding boots. *Like I said, although they aren't the ultimate standard for walking comfort, my Ariat paddock boots have been perfectly fine for walking in. I highly doubt that futuredoctor is going to be doing any riding extreme enough to warrant needing to get off and walk his horse long enough to need shoes more comfortable than riding boots. As you said, "if you do any serious riding that involves traveling a lot of miles..." which he will not be.*
> 
> I've had my feet stepped on plenty too (anyone who works with horses long enough can say that) and since most riding boots do not have steel toes they wouldn't have helped. *I have never had any riding boots without steel toes, and I have not found any so far that haven't, either. I am not saying that all riding boots have steel toes, but any decent ones should.*
> Ankle paddock boots are not "riding" boots anymore than my combat boots were (although my combat boots made excellent boots for riding), but plenty of ankle boots have steel toes. Unless you're saying that a boot you ride in is a "riding" boot, but that would have made my combat boots "riding" boots. *I am going to exercise my right to disagree, once again. Paddock boots are very much riding boots. They are designed for that purpose. They are marketed for that purpose, and they serve that purpose. Paddock boots are the same as tall boots, they just don't come above the ankle. *
> I've have well broken in riding boots (they look nice even if I don't ride with them), but after 10 years and being well broken in they're not as comfortable a pair of combat boots after 3 months of breaking in. Riding boots are never perfectly comfortable for running around it (unless you're not really "running" around and not doing very much). Trust me I know :lol:, that's why I followed the lead of other horsemen who knew before me and didn't wear "riding" boots.
> My walking boots fit in the stirrup just as nicely as the riding boots so I don't see where there's any benefit to a riding boot (having a heel is not something unique to riding boots). Certainly not for safety or comfort (that just leaves "looks" and "tradition")
> To date I've never had a problem riding anywhere with my foot gear and I doubt seriously if I ever would, since I usually were what was good enough for mounted troops 100 years ago. Although I have been places where my leggings got a lot of interest, but always of a positive nature. No one has ever questioned the boots I wear even though they aren't "riding" boots.
> 
> Most riding boots do not reach the knee. Somewhere around 14" if I remember correctly and that's well short of the knee (16" is still short of the knee). Although they do make them higher (usually for higher price) and they also make some closer to 12" (like most cowboy boots). But yes, those make up the bulk of the riding boots. Look at the foot gear on the competitors in most of the show, eventing, etc... circuits. High boots.
> 
> Nothing wrong with it. It's the traditional look/style and it works for what they are doing. If they stepped into the world of my riding for a few months they'd be wearing something different before very long :lol:, but many would switch back for their other riding.


I am by no means saying that your boots are the wrong boots. I have ridden in many different types of shoes before I scraped money together for a good pair of riding boots for myself, and here I am, all my little toes in place and no worse for the wear. :lol: If I rode as you did, and needed a more comfortable boot for walking long distances over rough terrain, I'm sure I would have boots that suited that need, but I have always had my needs met by a simple riding boot.
But futuredoctor is not going to be riding the way you do- he's going to be taking lessons at a barn, where not only will he be subject to another's rules due to liability (which, like I said, will more than likely require that he has riding boots with steel toes, maybe not at first but eventually), but will not be doing anything that requires more walking comfort than what a regular riding boot offers. That is why I highly suggest that he buys a good pair of paddock boots- not because I think they're the only thing to ride in, but because they suit his needs better and offer a certain amount of safety. It seems that we both do not see eye to eye on what the definition of a riding boot is, and I don't think we're answering the question the same- I am answering with what I believe suits his needs best, while I think you're answering a bit more generally, giving different options.
I cannot and will not argue with you about what type of boot is best for the type of riding that you do, as I don't ride with you, and I am in no way saying that your boots are the wrong boots- they're just not suited for the OP's needs as well as a boot designed specifically for riding and working around horses. Like I said, the most important thing right now is that he ask the instructor what he needs to wear, as they may require him to buy a riding boot anyway. If they do not, then it's a good thing you're here, because I am not familiar with alternatives to riding boots, as my needs have always been met by a simple paddock boot and half chaps.


----------



## 6gun Kid

Dude, just ride! I have friend whp rides dressage in the heart of cow country. I asked him about this once. His answer was "a man that is not true to himself is not a man". I will be 100% honest when I say what I kow about English rdidng will fit on the back of a stamp written in sharpie. But I do know this. If you are confident in what you do, and are confident in who you are... to hell with everyone else!


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## usandpets

OP, you do not have to go buy specific boots to try out riding, unless the facility requires it. Tennis shoes are not the best but the would work for your first lesson. As long as you don't wear flip flops or sandals, you shouldn't have to go buy a new pair of boots for one lesson. If you decide to continue them, then you should look into some boots. More than likely, you'd be riding a pretty calm lesson horse for your first rides. They usually don't spook that easy, especially in an arena. 

You should also be ok with wearing jeans. Again, you don't need to go buy breeches just for one lesson. If you want to continue, then buy some.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## futuredoctor

I'll just wait and see what the instructor says. Ultimately it's her decision.


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## onuilmar

Well, since this is the first lesson and you are just trying things out, I would not spend a whole lot of money up front. 

When my son and I first started riding (and we weren't sure we would continue) we were told that muck out boots would work. They're cheap, they have a heel and they protect the inside calf. Right now, I wear a pair of shoes/boots I found at the salvation army for $4 and a pair of half chaps. (I'm still cheap.)

Again, it does depend on what the barn demands. But other than the boots or footwear with heels, jeans and t-shirt should be fine. If you stay with it, then you might consider investing more in attire and all sorts of other horse paraphernalia (and there're endless possibilities there).

Right now, just stick your toe in the water and see if you like it. 

Me, once I climbed on a horse seven years ago, I never got off. My son, who was the reason we started riding, really began enjoying riding when he relaxed going over fences. He's 17 now and a much better and bolder jumper than I am. I think, like a lot of guys, he's an adrenaline junky.

But the joy in horses (for me) is the connection and harmony between horse and rider. It's transcendent.

So just go for it and see if you like it. If you are as academic as you say, this is a perfect athletic outlet. Riding takes muscles, but you can start slow at the walk. It's amazing how much effort goes into just sitting on a walking horse.


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## ropinbiker

didn't read but the first and last page...here in west TX, most riders are male, but it's probably around a 60/40 or maybe even a 55/45 split...we have all kinds of riders discipline wise --

as far as clothing/boots -- wear what YOU want!! I wear boots everyday, and fell they are MORE comfortable than any other form of footwear!! You just have to break them in properly. As for pants I always wear blue jeans. If you haven't been told yet, DO NOT wear boxers!!!! Wear some form of brief, when I am roping(riding hard and fast..) then I actually wear a compression style of underwear....almost like bike shorts...those will help keep things where they are supposed to be....

Just go and ride, and soon, all of your buds will be asking you where all of your newfound confidence, not to mention lady friends, have come from!!


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## ropinbiker

and, btw, I am a retired Army Ranger...don't think any of "us" were ever referred to as "girlie" or "wimpy"....and most (even the ladies) that ride out here are about the most manly, womanly, tough type folks around that would probably scare the carp out of your parents if they came out to one of our events....

and, the boots that I wear everyday(I work training Army students here) are a western riding boot...with the walking heel. This type of boot works for both comfort and riding...so, I have a black and brown pair...goes with everything and I don't have to change them when I ride...


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## jamesqf

its lbs not miles said:


> However, if you do any serous riding that involves traveling a lot of miles you'll probably want to spend some time giving your horse a break by dismounting, loosening the cinch and walking them on a lead for a few miles during the day (or maybe not, depending on how hard you want to work your horse). If you do you'll be much happier with the comfortable walking foot gear that works equally well for riding vs riding boots..


Second that. Probably doesn't apply if you're just taking lessons, but I find it also helps to give ME a break (and some exercise) by getting off and walking/trotting with the horse for a half mile or so.

Also, if/when you get your own horse (or a leased one), I think walking with them helps build trust & awareness of each other. I had to hand-walk my horse for about a year, as injury rehab, before I rode her more than a couple of times. (And, barring a couple of tourist-type trail rides, she's the only horse I've ridden.)

I like the Ariat Terrain boots, too. They're as comfortable as any hiking boots I've ever owned. The soles are maybe a little smooth for slick rock, but otherwise I'd have no problems hiking in them all day.


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## futuredoctor

Are polo ponies treated well? Usually?


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## futuredoctor

Well people it has been 3 long days and no response. Is it possible that they don't want to train a guy?


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## demonwolfmoon

futuredoctor said:


> Well people it has been 3 long days and no response. Is it possible that they don't want to train a guy?


Actually it took me a week to get ahold of ANYBODY. Turns out the lessons lady was on vacation to Florida and it was something like two or three weeks before I finally was out to get a lesson.

The barn I called to get my pony in training with didn't call back for about ten days.


Things like this (and other stuff) makes me wonder if people just don't like money. It wouldn't be too horribly difficult to shoot somebody an email or call back and leave a voicemail, would it?


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## boots

futuredoctor said:


> Are polo ponies treated well? Usually?


Polo ponies are most often treated very well. If you go to the site U S Polo dot org, you can search and possibly find a club near you that offers beginner lessons. Once you have made contact you will most likely hear of other opportunities in your area.


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## nvr2many

Give them a call.


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## demonwolfmoon

nvr2many said:


> Give them a call.


Call...or try another place.


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## boots

boots said:


> Polo ponies are most often treated very well. If you go to the site U S Polo dot org, you can search and possibly find a club near you that offers beginner lessons. Once you have made contact you will most likely hear of other opportunities in your area.


Funny. When I'm typing the reply, and quoted to this box the letter "u" is correct. It gets changed to "you" when it gets posted. 

Anyway, search for the United State Polo Association and you should get a link to their site. 

Have fun regardless of what type or types of horseback riding you try.


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## flytobecat

Call again or try another place. If you really want do it, persistance pays off.
I agree on not investing a lot to get started, but I would get some decent footwear if you don't own work shoes already.
I've been known to ride in flip flops, sneakers, and just about anything, but I love my cowboy boots. I never had a problem walking in them either. I go through about a pair a year, but I wear them everyday. Combat boots are are awesome to ride in too.
You want a shoe that has a small heel and enough tread that it won't slide in the stirrup, but you don't want the kind of tread that will get stuck in a stirrup (think cleats). Main reason I wear boots is for the ankle support though not the heel. Some high top hiking boots or sneakers would probably be fine.


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## futuredoctor

At low/mid level shows, what percent is male, what percent female at any given show?


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## bsms

^^ Lots of mares, lots of geldings. Not many stallions.


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## futuredoctor

bsms said:


> ^^ Lots of mares, lots of geldings. Not many stallions.


Very funny...


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## Fort fireman

Why so hung up on the guy vs. girl thing. You are 17 so it's time you learn something. Boys can do anything a girl can do. :lol: well almost anything but nature just prevents that, and they can have it.


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## ropinbiker

alright, here's the deal -- if you WANT to start riding then start riding!! Quit worrying about what others think. Part of the allure of horses and the heritage of horsepeople is our fiercely independent and adventuresome spirits....we(most of us) don't really care what others think about us. We care about doing things properly and will seek help to be a better horse rider/owner/eventer/roper etc., BUT, we don't give a rat's **** about what they may or may not think about our chosen sport!!

So, again, if YOU WANT to ride, then ride!!!


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## Cacowgirl

If you haven't heard back yet, try a phone call, & make calls to other barns also, so you have a choice. Start out w/basic riding, maybe even a small group lesson 2-4 w/at least a 45 minute lesson. Are you out of school for the summer? Early morning lessons will be cooler, but you may need to do some searching to find a compatable opening that works for you. Do any of your school mates have or ride horses? Are there any shows you can go to & talk to some of the folks there? Trainers, coaches, students & horse owners will be there. Also check our feed/tack stores for a bulletin board that may have some ads that may interest you.


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## usandpets

flytobecat said:


> You want a shoe that has a small heel and enough tread that it won't slide in the stirrup, but you don't want the kind of tread that will get stuck in a stirrup (think cleats). Main reason I wear boots is for the ankle support though not the heel. Some high top hiking boots or sneakers would probably be fine.


I was going to comment about this earlier when it was mentioned before. 

I don't know about English boots but with western riding, you want a smooth sole. Good cowboy boots have a smooth leather sole. Cheap knockoffs or the work boot type have rubber. Those can work but the tread needs to be minimal or basically smooth or your foot won't slide out if needed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jamesqf

Fort fireman said:


> Why so hung up on the guy vs. girl thing. You are 17 so it's time you learn something. Boys can do anything a girl can do. :lol:


Now that's strange. For literally decades I've been hearing it, and sometimes telling it, the other way around.

FWIW, I'm an ex-Marine, former construction worker, biker type who enjoys doing a number of "girly" things like cooking, flower gardening, and yes, riding horses. So stop worrying about what other people might think, and start living your own life.


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## futuredoctor

But girls have cooties. How did you guys even pass biology class?


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## SueNH

http://www.tamarackhill.com

Internationally know Male English rider in VT. Also competed in the Tevis Endurance ride.


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## LostDragonflyWings

ropinbiker said:


> alright, here's the deal -- if you WANT to start riding then start riding!! Quit worrying about what others think. Part of the allure of horses and the heritage of horsepeople is our fiercely independent and adventuresome spirits....we(most of us) don't really care what others think about us. We care about doing things properly and will seek help to be a better horse rider/owner/eventer/roper etc., BUT, we don't give a rat's **** about what they may or may not think about our chosen sport!!
> 
> So, again, if YOU WANT to ride, then ride!!!


I agree. I would have posted on this thread earlier, but it is honestly very annoying.

OP, if you think you might like riding and you want to learn, then do it. You have gotten pages of replies ensuring you that riding is not a "girl" sport, and there are tons of examples of professional riders to prove this.

The people that might think you are gay because you ride are most likely the type of people who will think you are gay for another reason. I can't speak for every rider, but I know that I personally do not go around labeling every male rider as gay just because they ride. That is stupid. That is just like labeling every male dancer gay, or labeling every female football or basketball player lesbian.

People will think what they will about you. It is up to you to determine if you really want to bother caring what they think of you, or if you want to live your life and learn to experience and enjoy new things.

There have been both male and female riders for both English and Western disciplines at all of the barns I have boarded in the past and the present.


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## LostDragonflyWings

Lastly, there is nothing wrong with being gay. If you do not want to risk the chance that somebody think you are gay, you might as well just stay home and never leave, as people will think what they want, regardless of what is true. You could be the straightest person on the planet and somebody might think you are gay.... that is just how the world is these days, quick to label and quick to judge.


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## WildernessRider

> But If I don't wear breeches and tall boots I won't have the opportunity show off my amazing body.


Oh, but jeans and cowboy boots are sexy! -chuckles-
Welcome to the site and to the world of our four legged partners in crime


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## demonwolfmoon

LostDragonflyWings said:


> Lastly, there is nothing wrong with being gay. If you do not want to risk the chance that somebody think you are gay, you might as well just stay home and never leave, as people will think what they want, regardless of what is true. You could be the straightest person on the planet and somebody might think you are gay.... that is just how the world is these days, quick to label and quick to judge.


The whole aversion to people labeling him as gay strikes me as Homophobia.

As we all know, there is nothing wrong with being gay, bi, transgender, pansexual, whatnot.

But I've been told that people who are homophobic tend to have latent homosexual tendencies. 

Either that, *or the whole teen angst thing is seriously getting out of hand.* Really? If people are going to think you're gay, nothing you can do to change that. Trust me, once you get a few more years older, you will stop caring so much about what misinformed people "think" about you!


_PS) I seriously doubt not getting a call back is due to your having male body parts._

That was my whole point, since more than half the time *I* have trouble getting calls returned from trainers/boarding facilities, and I most definitely posses girl bits. Just saying.


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## wild old thing

You find a good barn and get some lessons under your belt and enjoy it!

There is something about horses that calls out to us - that's why we do it although some people born or come into the sort of circumstance where riding horses is a part of their daily lives. Lucky people for the most part, I think!

Love of riding is not for everyone but when you are called to it, it's a call to joy. 

You will see it in the love riders have for all these beautiful animals, in how we enjoy grooming them and checking their bodies to be sure they're okay and how we fuss over them and give them treats and fret if they're getting too fat or too thin or too old. They are our companions and their bodies give us something we can't give ourselves. And they learn, are trained to GIVE their bodies to us so we can ride on their backs.

Riding is about horses, right down to their hooves and how they entrust them to you every time you step into their stall or get up on their back. 

You will learn to ride, but you will also learn by watching your horses ears and feeling your horses timing and how he is moving that day that your horse is learning, sometime struggling to understand you, too. 

Don't worry about snark or about girls. Girls that ride, that are riders will LOVE anyone who loves horses and riding. Thats how it is. I can't speak to the social but I can to the riding.


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## wild old thing

futuredoctor said:


> What riding style should a male learn?


Try them all. The way I started was I took whatever lessons I could get. I started on western, I took some basic english lessons, I went back to Western, quite by accident, fell in love with it and will take whatever lessons I can to advance my Western riding. So I may take huntseat, just to work on cantering and balance. 

Western gait is more relaxed. It came out of ranch work and traveling across the country to settle the west. We want our horses head to drop and the body and legs to stretch. Traditionally, the gait is slower. (traditionally. not saying that's necessarily HOW it's ridden, only how it's taught and described.)

English gaits (how the horse is moving forward) are faster in general. 

The saddles are different. English is smaller, more efficient, lighter, too. You have much more contact with a horse's body. I loved that feeling. 

Western saddles are big old things with lots of places for rings and bags and ropes and stuff like that. They're also heavy as hell but I love them. It's like riding in a big recliner. You dont' feel the body as thoroughly as you do with English saddles, but with a horse, that's relative. They're so big it's hard NOT to feel them.


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## wild old thing

futuredoctor said:


> But they might think I'm gay. Horse riding isn't the sort of thing they'd picture me doing.


okay. I'm guessing this is the cause of your doubt.

I can tell you from experience, sometimes the people you love, even the people you depend on aren't going to be as supportive of you as you might hope. 

Present this to your parents. Don't be upset with them if they don't understand or support you. It'll hurt but you've already half prepared yourself for that possibility. 

Next question is: are they willing to pay for lessons? If not then you have to go to plan B, which is you need to pay for lessons yourself with a part time job or some savings you may have (look into group lessons and buying them the most economically which can be in a group of five or ten lessons) or find a barn where they'll exchange riding lessons for work. You're young, presumably strong (if you're not, you will be once you start riding.) 

I'm not sure of the laws in your state, whether or not you can ride without your parent's permission, but I imagine if you're willing to work to pay for lessons, your parents will support your commitment and sense of responsibility and at least permit you to pay for your own if they're not willing to pay for them.

What may help you is your parents seeing your determination and maturity. Being doubtful of your own sexuality is a bad place to start. I'm going to give you a piece of advice here and that is to quit asking if it's masculine to do anything. 

All your life, you're going to be called to do things, you're going to be drawn to activities and interests, you will find you have may have born skills and natural talents to do - like cooking, like sewing, like caring for others (being a doctor). You have to go into them not caring about whether or not what you'd like to do, where you'd like to go or be fits "other people's" ideas of what you "should" be doing.

Your life is only yours to live. ONLY YOURS. You will live your life inside your body for as long as grace allows. One day you will die. Don't die wishing you had had the courage to persue your dreams. Let love and courage define you. Not other people.


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## jamesqf

If people think you are gay, so what? As long as you stay in fairly civilized parts of the world, the worst that will happen is that you will have to turn down the occasional advance. As they say, BFD


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## nvr2many

Not to be rude but seems the redundancy just keeps going. And its a bit creepy (IMO). Starting to think someone just wants attention and if I am wrong I am sorry but just ride **** it! :smile:


----------



## wild old thing

Cacowgirl said:


> Why would that be your first concern? Controlling a large animal that has the ability to seriously harm you (or worse) is not particularly on a gay prson's agenda. *Gays are everywhere, but the horse life style may not be their first choice of recreation*. I mean no offense to anyone,don't have much life experience on this subject.


no offense taken. But I want to say this because there IS that falacy that gay men are weaker or less interested in Type T activities, which isn't necessarily true or untrue. I will say a very good friend of mine is very gay and he's a hell of a rider. You'd never think he was straight.

It's very possible that if it turned out statistically fewer gays participate in certain sports it might be because they believe or have been shown they'd be unwelcome. And in some places being unwelcome can mean unsafe and possibly worse. Seriously.


----------



## futuredoctor

wild old thing said:


> no offense taken. But I want to say this because there IS that falacy that gay men are weaker or less interested in Type T activities, which isn't necessarily true or untrue. I will say a very good friend of mine is very gay and he's a hell of a rider. You'd never think he was straight.
> 
> It's very possible that if it turned out statistically fewer gays participate in certain sports it might be because they believe or have been shown they'd be unwelcome. And in some places being unwelcome can mean unsafe and possibly worse. Seriously.


Basketball isn't super popular with gay individuals.


----------



## bsms

Politically, I'm somewhere to the right of Rush Limbaugh. However, horses don't care. So if you want to ride, ride. If people think you are gay, a transvestite, a sissy...ignore them. Part of being an adult is doing what you believe is right instead of worrying about what others will think of you.

At 55, I'm SOOOO glad I'm not a teen anymore. I just wish my body recovered from injuries or exercise as quickly...other than that, 55 is *FAR* more enjoyable than 17!

My wife and I rode this morning. I don't care if anyone thought I was gay, hetero, ugly, cool, etc. We had fun. Mostly. Mia was having one of her "You're not the boss of me" days, and freaking over asphalt patches on the road. Given how rarely the local county repairs roads, it may well have been the first time in her life that she had seen a patch...but I was far too busy keeping her moving, not letting her turn & staying on to worry if anyone thought anything about my sexuality.

Yesterday, Mia dragged a leg thru a staghorn cholla cactus. Again, as she covered her hind leg in spines and wanted to bolt, staying on and keeping her in one place kept me busy. That is life with horses. Mia would much rather be ridden by a skillful homosexual than by me. There are undoubtedly homosexuals who could have rolled a cigarette while riding her out. So what? Mia has me & I have her, and what *WE* do together is what matters when we ride.

If you can't worry more about your horse than other people, please don't ride. It won't be safe for you, and it won't be good for the horse either. If you are REALLY lucky, you'll meet an opinionated, dominate, nervous, willing, sweet horse - like Mia. And she'll keep you too busy stretching your riding skill to worry about some weenie on the sidelines of life!

Mia & I about 20 minutes after the cactus yesterday.She was staring at a vicious moving van, which had rumbling sounds coming from its belly (hungry!). Do you see me looking around, worried if someone will see me with one hand on the saddle horn? Nope! And Mia wasn't even rebelling at this point...just feeling nervous:


----------



## demonwolfmoon

bsms said:


> My wife and I rode this morning. I don't care if anyone thought I was gay, hetero, ugly, cool, etc. We had fun. Mostly. Mia was having one of her "You're not the boss of me" days, and freaking over asphalt patches on the road. Given how rarely the local county repairs roads, it may well have been the first time in her life that she had seen a patch...*but I was far too busy keeping her moving, not letting her turn & staying on to worry if anyone thought anything about my sexuality.*
> 
> Yesterday, Mia dragged a leg thru a staghorn cholla cactus. Again, as she covered her hind leg in spines and wanted to bolt, staying on and keeping her in one place kept me busy. That is life with horses.* Mia would much rather be ridden by a skillful homosexual than by me. There are undoubtedly homosexuals who could have rolled a cigarette while riding her out.* So what? Mia has me & I have her, and what *WE* do together is what matters when we ride.


Just wanting to say, I giggled way too much at this =)

I also agree that spending time thinking about other people, your hair/clothes/how cool you look, nails, whatever while riding a horse is probably not all that safe...


----------



## jinxremoving

nvr2many said:


> Not to be rude but seems the redundancy just keeps going. And its a bit creepy (IMO). Starting to think someone just wants attention and if I am wrong I am sorry but just ride **** it! :smile:


Completely agree.

We're either being trolled... or... well, who knows.


----------



## jinxremoving

bsms said:


>


Look at those heels down! You have a career as a hunter / jumper!


----------



## wild old thing

bsms said:


> Politically, I'm somewhere to the right of Rush Limbaugh. However, horses don't care. So if you want to ride, ride. If people think you are gay, a transvestite, a sissy...ignore them. Part of being an adult is doing what you believe is right instead of worrying about what others will think of you.
> 
> At 55, I'm SOOOO glad I'm not a teen anymore. I just wish my body recovered from injuries or exercise as quickly...other than that, 55 is *FAR* more enjoyable than 17!
> 
> My wife and I rode this morning. I don't care if anyone thought I was gay, hetero, ugly, cool, etc. We had fun. Mostly. Mia was having one of her "You're not the boss of me" days, and freaking over asphalt patches on the road. Given how rarely the local county repairs roads, it may well have been the first time in her life that she had seen a patch...but I was far too busy keeping her moving, not letting her turn & staying on to worry if anyone thought anything about my sexuality.
> 
> Yesterday, Mia dragged a leg thru a staghorn cholla cactus. Again, as she covered her hind leg in spines and wanted to bolt, staying on and keeping her in one place kept me busy. That is life with horses. Mia would much rather be ridden by a skillful homosexual than by me. There are undoubtedly homosexuals who could have rolled a cigarette while riding her out. So what? Mia has me & I have her, and what *WE* do together is what matters when we ride.
> 
> If you can't worry more about your horse than other people, please don't ride. It won't be safe for you, and it won't be good for the horse either. If you are REALLY lucky, you'll meet an opinionated, dominate, nervous, willing, sweet horse - like Mia. And she'll keep you too busy stretching your riding skill to worry about some weenie on the sidelines of life!
> 
> Mia & I about 20 minutes after the cactus yesterday.She was staring at a vicious moving van, which had rumbling sounds coming from its belly (hungry!). Do you see me looking around, worried if someone will see me with one hand on the saddle horn? Nope! And Mia wasn't even rebelling at this point...just feeling nervous:


I'm somewhere to the left of all the Kennedys, Nancy Pelosi and possibly Karl Marx but I love your post and your sentiments! And I can't stop smiling over here. 

Spot on!!

(your Mia is a pretty thing)

(ps. look out for horse eating killer frogs!)


----------



## demonwolfmoon

wild old thing said:


> I'm somewhere to the left of all the Kennedys, Nancy Pelosi and possibly Karl Marx but I love your post and your sentiments! And I can't stop smiling over here.
> 
> Spot on!!
> 
> (your Mia is a pretty thing)
> 
> (ps. look out for horse eating killer frogs!)


LOLZ, I"m somewhere outside of the borders along with the whole "FFS we need something FAR DIFFERENT" cuz what we have AIN'T WORKING!"

Is there a place for that? Normally I'd say I'm in the middle somewhere with little feelers in both directions, but I kinda feel like politics have gotten wayyyy out of hand and out of touch lately X_X


If this is a troll he isn't a good one. I'd lean towards SUPER INSECURE TEENAGER, myself.


----------



## wild old thing

demonwolfmoon said:


> LOLZ, I"m somewhere outside of the borders along with the whole "FFS we need something FAR DIFFERENT" cuz what we have AIN'T WORKING!"
> 
> Is there a place for that? Normally I'd say I'm in the middle somewhere with little feelers in both directions, but I kinda feel like politics have gotten wayyyy out of hand and out of touch lately X_X
> 
> 
> If this is a troll he isn't a good one. I'd lean towards SUPER INSECURE TEENAGER, myself.


Ditto on the politics. 

And double ditto on the troll thoughts.


----------



## SueNH

I'm leaning to a person much younger than 17. 12-14 is more like it.


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## futuredoctor

I'm kind of awkward, so what should I say when I call?

P.S. Folks, if you think I'm trolling you may as well leave this thread. There is no point in talking to someone if you think they're trolling. Just do yourself a favor and leave.


----------



## GamingGrrl

"Hi, my name is ____ and I'm interested in taking riding lessons at your barn/stable."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## nvr2many

futuredoctor said:


> Basketball isn't super popular with gay individuals.



How do you know???


----------



## futuredoctor

nvr2many said:


> How do you know???


Personal Experience. I have never known a gay basketball player.


----------



## Dustbunny

^^^^^ How do you know?


----------



## nvr2many

futuredoctor said:


> Personal Experience. I have never known a gay basketball player.


Wow, you really have a closed mind and a warped view of the world! :-(


----------



## nvr2many

"Jason Collins, Gay NBA Player, Marches In 2013 Boston Pride Parade With Joe Kennedy"

"Jallen Messersmith Gay: Catholic College Student Believed To Be First Out Man In College Basketball"

Just a couple that were brave enough to be who they are!


----------



## SlideStop

Gay is a sexuality. I am a lesbian and have many gay friends... Guess what, they play basketball, baseball, horseback ride, dance, body build, do amazing art, etc. Sexuality DOES NOT dictate what you hobbies are. There probably HAVE been gay people in the sports you play but closed minded people make them "stay in the closet" for fear of discrimination! Someone's sexuality is their business, just like your sexuality is YOUR business... No one else's! 

If you think every gay man is a flamboyant, hand flapping, highly well kempt, and lispy sounding you really need to broaden your horizons!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## demonwolfmoon

SlideStop said:


> Gay is a sexuality. I am a lesbian and have many gay friends... Guess what, they play basketball, baseball, horseback ride, dance, body build, do amazing art, etc. Sexuality DOES NOT dictate what you hobbies are. There probably HAVE been gay people in the sports you play but closed minded people make them "stay in the closet" for fear of discrimination! Someone's sexuality is their business, just like your sexuality is YOUR business... No one else's!
> 
> If you think every gay man is a flamboyant, hand flapping, highly well kempt, and lispy sounding you really need to broaden your horizons!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Let me let you guys in on something. Many people of my high school class came out after high school, including my husband's best friend.

Now, my husband's best friend is not anything like the stereotype that SlideStop put out there. He was athletic, in ROTC all those years, muscley, rough but cute kid, dated pretty much all the girls in ROTC....had sex with probably all of them and then some. I mean, his scoreboard puts my husband to serious shame. You would have never been able to point to him and say "omg he's gay!".

13 years after HS, he is currently sporting tattoos, a bald shaved head and guns that again, put my husband to serious shame. He is ex Navy, which is possibly the only stereotypical thing you could find about this dude. 

Anyway, point being of all that, my husband, his best friend, had NO CLUE this guy liked other guys.  So you never know, and honestly, if it was me, you wouldn't be the first person I'd come out to either LOL. And oh, by the way, in ROTC we took part in sports like softball and basketball as well as the running etc for our PT days...

In any case, if you think English riding style is "GAY" and that's your huge concern about riding English, then ride western. 

Better yet, get into some lessons and you will quickly find out that your sexuality and what people think about it is the very last thing you're thinking about while you are in the saddle.


----------



## GamingGrrl

OP, if you're this insecure, then I worry about how you'll handle riding. You'll undoubtably fall off in front of people, get sneezed on, get sweaty, have helmet hair....you won't be looking like a model at all. If you can't fall and get up laughing, this probably isn't the sport for you. No one cares what you look like at the barn. Seriously. When I boarded, I rolled up in pajama pants, my boyfriends extra large hoodie, and cowboy boots to feed. I didn't even get a single second look. It's just how it goes. 

Heaven forbid you ever become a proud horse owner and have to master the skill of sheath cleaning.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## futuredoctor

nvr2many said:


> Wow, you really have a closed mind and a warped view of the world! :-(


How is that so? I never said anything negative about gay people. My cousin's parents are gay and I have some friends who are gay. Most of the people I know who are openly gay generally are drawn towards other sports such as Football and Baseball. I do not personally know a single gay person who plays basketball. This is not an opinion. Please elaborate on how I have a "closed mind" and a "warped view of the world".


----------



## jamesqf

GamingGrrl said:


> No one cares what you look like at the barn. Seriously. When I boarded, I rolled up in pajama pants, my boyfriends extra large hoodie, and cowboy boots to feed. I didn't even get a single second look. It's just how it goes.


Obviously weren't enough heterosexual guys at your barn, then  Personally, I find that look a lot more attractive than high heels and makeup applied with a trowel.


----------



## cowgirllinda1952

*Ok, baby, get you a pair of tight fitting Wranglers or Levi's, boots, a cowboy hat, and get to searching for that perfect horse. Assuming you're the "cowboy" type which I hope you are. Women will love to have a guy to ride with, don't know if it was this forum or another, but I read a post from a female, asking why there are so few male riders. Don't even worry about what anyone else says, let them think you do it as a "chick magnet". I myself, could never resist a cute, sexy cowboy. I once had a job, and the other ladies in the office were all talking about how they liked their men to dress. Most said a 3 piece vested suit,I said my man would wear tight fitting jeans, western shirt, boots and a cowboy hat!!! Good luck, and keep us posted on how ot goes.*


----------



## usandpets

OP, like I said before and others have said since, quit worrying about what others may think. The sooner you learn this, you will be happier on life. 

Since you are still young, enjoy life. Try new things like riding. Once life's obligations and commitments, like a job/career, marriage and kids happen, you won't have as much time to try new things out. 

When I was in high school, many years ago, I couldn't wait until I was done. When I started college, I wished I was back in high school. I still wish at times now to be that young again and to have the freedom I did then. 

So just get out there and start enjoying!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## usandpets

Just found this on FB. It so fits what I was saying:








_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## nvr2many

futuredoctor said:


> Basketball isn't super popular with gay individuals.



^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ THIS! This is what made me say you really have no idea what is going on out in the world. Because, "YOU JUST DO NOT KNOW" and to claim you do is closed minded. I am really done with this. I am not gay, I am a mother of two and a step mother of two. Daughter is probably older than you are and I was trying to help you, not argue with a child. I am done! Good luck!


----------



## nvr2many

nvr2many said:


> Not to be rude but seems the redundancy just keeps going. And its a bit creepy (IMO). Starting to think someone just wants attention and if I am wrong I am sorry but just ride **** it! :smile:


And I still stick by this! Good luck! Out!


----------



## SueNH




----------



## onuilmar

bsms said:


> If you can't worry more about your horse than other people, please don't ride. It won't be safe for you, and it won't be good for the horse either. If you are REALLY lucky, you'll meet an opinionated, dominate, nervous, willing, sweet horse - like Mia. And she'll keep you too busy stretching your riding skill to worry about some weenie on the sidelines of life!



I seriously agree with this. If you can't worry more about the horse and what it's doing than what people say about you, go find another sport. Riding is dangerous. When on a horse, especially when are just starting out, one should be 100 percent focused on the horse. 

Statistically more new riders than experienced riders get seriously hurt. 

And like bsms, I started riding only six or seven years ago when I was 49. That statistic spurs me to learn more and become better, really for my own safety. The side benefit is that I just love it.


----------



## futuredoctor

SueNH said:


> Joe Boxer - YouTube


How did they find footage of me?


----------



## SueNH

Winters are long in New England.


----------



## futuredoctor

SueNH said:


> Winters are long in New England.


Very. I'm from VT. It is ALWAYS cold (not quite but it feels like it sometimes).


----------



## bsms

I hope the riders in "Joe Boxer" had all the kids they ever want to have! Not likely they will ever have more...particularly the 'one out of five' guy. And I hope they shot it all in one take!


----------



## Samuel

I started in march, I set up my lessons then said " dad I need money for horse riding" and he was like "oh when did you start that then? Hahah" I was the only boy at the stables and nobody even batted an eyelid at me. And everybody was especially nice as I help with moving heavy things so that's your only danger getting asked to move hay bales etc hahaha there was a boy who took the pi** and so I took him to the yard and whacked a saddle on a Clydesdale, he wouldn't get on, then I didn't have any issues after that  most of my friends have been in Arthur now and they're always asking if I can teach them and if they can come out


----------



## futuredoctor

How long does it generally take before someone can become a _decent_ rider? This meaning they can compete in shows but not necessarily win anything.


----------



## equiniphile

That's a really open-ended question, and it depends on what discipline you end up persueing. If you choose to do hunters, it may be three months months before you can take part in a local walk/trot schooling show class, or it may take a year. It also depends on how often you take lessons and the availability of shows in your area.

As far as jumping goes, you may be showing in crossrails in six months or two years. There's a lot of variables to consider.


----------



## bsms

jamesqf said:


> ...I will not object in the least if any of you care to admire the view of me in my jeans...


*ANY* of us? :shock:

I've always wondered if the handful of jumping lessons I had in my early 20s - which consisted of my getting on various horses and riding over various jumps with neither any instruction nor helmet - was an attempt by the very pretty instructor to get rid of my genes from the human gene pool. It is a good thing the horses knew how to jump. My vision was focused somewhere else...

As for me in my jeans at 55 - if anyone wants to admire the view, I suggest visiting an optometrist. You probably missed a few stop signs on your last drive. :wink:


----------



## Critter sitter

This thread is still Going??? I think the Dr got all the attention he was looking for :~)


----------



## futuredoctor

Critter sitter said:


> This thread is still Going??? I think the Dr got all the attention he was looking for :~)


If anyone has a problem with this thread, they can feel free to leave.


----------



## Critter sitter

stating my opinion kid. Your are on the net and are asking for this. so you are getting what you've asked for. You should be overjoyed


----------



## futuredoctor

Critter sitter said:


> stating my opinion kid. Your are on the net and are asking for this. so you are getting what you've asked for. You should be overjoyed


*You're or you are. Your are doesn't make sense.


----------



## Sunny

futuredoctor said:


> *You're or you are. Your are doesn't make sense.


Seriously?

I liked you at first, now you are simply annoying and getting an attitude. Your age is showing.


----------



## michaelvanessa

*geting in to horses.*

hiya i got in to horses about 33 years ago now and i met a girl called christine and it was love at first sight.
she had a cob called john and he was about 16.3 hh rone.
to save me retypeing it all again some one asked me the same question so i have ritten the string in the driveing forum under carts stored for 14 years.
thats how i got in to horses.


----------



## futuredoctor

My first experience with horses was at a barn while my sister was taking riding lessons. I was 5-6 and too scared to actually get on a horse, but I really liked the animals. Now I'm not too scared. Haha.


----------



## michaelvanessa

*breeches and jodphers and long boots.*

i ware breeches jodphers and long boots.
and my gilding is kitted out in english.
and his tack is pink.
and also im a guy and ride him out like that.
normaly a smack in the mouth from me often offends others lol
i have a girl frend i have lost one through anarexia. and looked after her mother.
and had a few other girlfrends.
and i do one of the hardest jobs around i renew and maintain the rail road.


----------



## updownrider

futuredoctor said:


> *You're or you are. Your are doesn't make sense.


Now you are (or you're) being disrespectful. 
This is not a grammar thread.


----------



## jamesqf

bsms said:


> *ANY* of us? :shock:


Sure, admire all you like. 



> As for me in my jeans at 55...


Sheesh, just because you are a young guy, you think you have to brag about it?


----------



## futuredoctor

michaelvanessa said:


> i ware breeches jodphers and long boots.
> and my gilding is kitted out in english.
> and his tack is pink.
> and also im a guy and ride him out like that.
> normaly a smack in the mouth from me often offends others lol
> i have a girl frend i have lost one through anarexia. and looked after her mother.
> and had a few other girlfrends.
> and i do one of the hardest jobs around i renew and maintain the rail road.
> 
> View attachment 213378


I actually like it. It goes well with the horse.


----------



## tinyliny

A reminder. This is family friendly forum. keep the discussion fitting for such, if you please.


----------



## wild old thing

SueNH said:


> Joe Boxer - YouTube


OOH EMM GEE!!

I kept thinking itch itchy itchy.

THEN the last guy came out. oh heavens. VERY itchy. 

(that was a very gay ad) (very straight too) (much pan sexual appeal)


----------



## wild old thing

futuredoctor said:


> Very. I'm from VT. It is ALWAYS cold (not quite but it feels like it sometimes).


there may not be a bunch of cute young (and very itchy) guys riding around in their undies, but the cold does tend to perk up the horses!


----------



## wild old thing

futuredoctor said:


> How long does it generally take before someone can become a _decent_ rider? This meaning they can compete in shows but not necessarily win anything.



that depends first and foremost on your commitment to practicing, to listening and a no nonsense getting it right attitude (not to say, no fun, but you have to commit). and natural ability. 

I've seen people who will argue with an instructor. what the point of that is, is beyond me. if you pay someone to teach you how to improve your proficiency, then you should be listening and working it.


----------



## futuredoctor

I guess I should just call. I haven't heard back yet.


----------



## futuredoctor

Update: I called and they are full 

I'll try another place.


----------



## palogal

Good luck, finding a place!

If you can ride English, you can ride Western  The reverse is not necessarily true.


----------



## futuredoctor

palogal said:


> Good luck, finding a place!
> 
> If you can ride English, you can ride Western  The reverse is not necessarily true.


I found a place that will take me! I start Wednesday.


----------



## palogal

Awesome! Pics????


----------



## QtrBel

futuredoctor said:


> I found a place that will take me! I start Wednesday.


 Finally. Now for pics of first ride!


----------



## futuredoctor

I'll see what I can do :wink:


----------



## NaeNae87

futuredoctor - you will be fine 

I haven't read all posts but they all seem to be along the same lines as what I would say. 

One of my instructors is a guy, he is an amazing rider and a wicked coach. He competes in both Dressage and Eventing and is highly successful in both disciplines. 

Good luck for your lesson! Please keep us all posted with how you go


----------



## donovan

Good luck i loved my first lesson


----------



## futuredoctor

Gahhhhhh. I start tomorrow morning and I'm super nervous. I've never actually met the people and the farm was previously all female (until me) as far as I know. They might be really mean. People might laugh at me. I'll look like a total newb in my jeans and t-shirt and ultra tall mud boots.


----------



## NaeNae87

futuredoctor said:


> Gahhhhhh. I start tomorrow morning and I'm super nervous. I've never actually met the people and the farm was previously all female (until me) as far as I know. They might be really mean. People might laugh at me. I'll look like a total newb in my jeans and t-shirt and ultra tall mud boots.



Take a chill pill  You will be fine. 

I doubt they will laugh at you.


----------



## jamesqf

And if they do laugh at you, so what? Could be the start of a great career as a comedian


----------



## wild old thing

jinxremoving said:


> You can lease a horse... but one is never really "done" lessons. It's a never ending learning process, even for seasoned riders.



You _can _lease, but at this stage which is very young and a real beginner, unless lessons are absolutely unavailable, I wouldn't recommend it. And frankly, even then I don't think it's a good idea. Not for the OP and surely not for the horse.

There's a lot of responsibility to caring for a horse. and even though it's a matter of getting on and sitting there with some horses, there's skill involved in riding properly - and primarily it's about being alert, gentle and patient. Because they're so big, you can get into bad habits ( I did this yesterday - lead my horse to the block on a long rein and not under the chin. Instructor said you can't lead a horse like a dog. But I wasn't thinking. With a horse, you must ALWAYS be thinking, especially when you're a beginner like I am. )

THere's a lot to horses - you have to expect the unexpected. It's not all happy happy ride ride. They can have days where they're tired. Or even bad days or spooky days, they can be so tired they can become frustrated and angry. They can be in the mood to move a bit and it can take you by surprise. 

Learn to ride at a stable or barn where they have horses you can learn from. A good school horse will teach you nearly as much as an instructor.


----------



## wild old thing

its lbs not miles said:


> Worry less about "what looks good" :lol:.
> Go for what feels good and serves the purpose.
> Where you ride can influence what you wear.
> e.g. I only ride outside and I want to keep the sun off so I wear a hat with a wide brim.
> Summers I like silk shirts and I even have silk pants since they are much cooler (even the mornings and evenings are hot and humid...the rest of the day is more brutal than I care to subject my horses to).
> 
> 
> Rest of the year a pair of jeans or khaki pants. Any cotton long sleeve shirt works well. Good, durable jacket or coat if needed.
> 
> If I'm going into wooded or rough areas I wear leggings. For riding around home boots could be ok, but I wear comfortable walking shoes or hiking boots (if you're several miles out and something happen so you find yourself walking back then riding boots just "ain't going to cut it" :lol
> 
> Bottom line though is wear what works for you. You're having to wear it and function in it so you'll soon find that being comfort and functionality trumps appearance (the girls will still be interested even if you're in a kilt or a kimono :lol: as long as you're on a horse :lol



Hiking boots! I never considered the possibility of having to walk back - comfortable boots are important but being able to walk long distance is equally so.

Love the idea of silk. I could have used them yesterday here in CT. It was another ghastly hot/humid afternoon. I'm going to look into a couple of pieces of silk clothing. 

I have some full seat breeches I love - they're my favorite pants to wear when I ride - they're VERY stretchy, plaid and really snazzy! Breeches are the tight pants riders wear. Full seat is when they have those strips of either suede or leather going up to the butt and down the inside of the thighs. The leather helps your butt and inside thigh grab on to the saddle and the horse. You'll feel a bit more secure when wearing them. And in the beginning particularly, a little means a lot. Confidence is a important - part of that is feeling secure in the seat.

My favorite riding outfit is a cotton stretch shirt with the sleeves rolled up so if the sun in hot (we ride outside too), I can roll them up or down. I love my breeches, but when its hot like yesterday, I like thin cotton pants with some stretch. I like stretchy clothes when I ride because I don't want anything to constrict my movement when I have to adjust to my horse. ANd I want something that's tight and snug so I can feel my horse. 

I prefer western boots but I also love my lace up ariats I'll wear with or without half chaps (those are those things people wear over their boots that zip up the side and look like they're wearing knee high boots). 

My look can be a mix of western/english. Whatever works that day. 

Yesterday I couldn't get cool enough and ended up in the ariats, took off the chaps, down to a helmet, sweat band, light pants, light shirt. 

And because I ride western, we have a little saddle bag I attach to my saddle that carries ice water for me and treats for my horse!


----------



## wild old thing

Fort fireman said:


> Don't go free ballin!!!! That just opens all kind of doors for bad things to happen. Especially in jeans. I like boxer briefs( sorry if that TMI for anyone).
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We ALL have to contain our body bits - most women wear sports bras and for some of us - not the lightweight ones. I wear an "intensive" sports bra which is a tight double layer. Or I wear two bras. I don't want my body bobbing up and down independent of me...it starts to hurt. I can only imagine what guys go through. 

The movement of a horse can jostle your bits. Loose body parts get bumped around, caught when climbing up, sliding down, riding a fast walk and forgeddaboudit with the trot or the lope. You want to be tight and right. Can't tell you how many times my shirt has gotten caught on the saddle and I dismount with my blouse over my head.


----------



## wild old thing

futuredoctor said:


> Okay good, I think I will try to learn English. It looks nice.


It's all beautiful. 

Good luck. You're going to love it!

My advice to you to sit tall, breath out (relax) and listen to your instructor. 

But before that, make it your business to learn to groom and tack up your horse and use that time to familiarize yourself with his or her body and personality. You can learn a lot about a horse and your horse will learn a lot about you in how you touch it and care for it, as well as ride.

WONDERFUL!!


----------



## wild old thing

futuredoctor said:


> I'm not gay, but I will be learning English.


hahahah

you crack me up. you're such a kid.


----------



## jinxremoving

wild old thing said:


> You _can _lease, but at this stage which is very young and a real beginner, unless lessons are absolutely unavailable, I wouldn't recommend it. And frankly, even then I don't think it's a good idea. Not for the OP and surely not for the horse.


Totally agree! 

I don't know a single barn that would lease a horse to a beginner. Frig, I see intermediate and advanced riders not taking the best care of their leased horses... I just shudder to imagine someone not knowing better and being left alone with the horse.


----------



## onlydudeathebarn

futuredoctor said:


> Gahhhhhh. I start tomorrow morning and I'm super nervous. I've never actually met the people and the farm was previously all female (until me) as far as I know. They might be really mean. People might laugh at me. I'll look like a total newb in my jeans and t-shirt and ultra tall mud boots.



There's no doubt about it, there's a bit of an awkward phase when a guy starts riding English the first time. The clothes are downright funny looking and you'll probably be the only guy around. But it passes. You get used to the outfit and get over being the only guy. Like it, even, heh - since there's cute girls everywhere in tight pants holding whips. Hey, it's not my fantasy, just throwin' it out there!

I think it was easier for me because I started with a friend. This is a couple years ago, I was 18 and starting college, and my roommate was a rider. We quickly became friends and found a local barn. I started English because he'd been riding English for years - didn't really think about it. Now I'm finally getting in the saddle again after a hiatus (for $ reasons) and I'm thinking western this time. Regardless, I'm sure starting in English will help me a lot there. One thing you do retain about riding even after a long break is your seat - how to have a good one and so forth. Like riding a bike, and the same seat works for English and western. For beginners, finding the right seat and your balance can take a long time. Maybe one lesson for some people, maybe 10 for others. All depends on the person. But once you get that down you'll always have it.

As for your fear of being laughed at, don't sweat it. They probably won't, and if they do laugh with them. Newbies look ridiculous on horses. It's inevitable kind of. Just go with it and enjoy life. I'm only a few years older and already my free time has been thrown into the bonfire....what I would do with all that free time in high school if I could go back... Oh well. And it looks like I'll also be the only guy at my new barn when I start soon - judging from the pics on facebook. Well, only guy south of 60 that is XD

Hey, let us know how your lesson went


----------



## futuredoctor

That was epic! I learned how to stop the horse, walk, trot, and post. I'm not very good at the last two but it was still super fun. I like trotting. It's bouncy and fun.


----------



## Zeke

No worries, posting is a wholeeee new can of worms for your body to figure out, all beginners struggle with it at first. 

Glad you thought it was epic, welcome to the club 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## SlideStop

Just so you know riding is a LIFE LONG adventure! You will most likely never be done with lessons. My trainers take lessons with their trainers. It's not something you do for 3 months, or even a year, and your a superstar at. It also doesn't help that many people (non horse owners) can only afford 1-2 lessons a week, or about 1-2 hours of instruction. Think about other sports, they practice minimum 3 days a week (depending of the level of seriousness I guess). I'd be willing to bet showing/riding horses is one of the most expensive sports in the world.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## usandpets

I will agree that it is a lifelong adventure. Also, if you are competing, you will want to learning to better yourself. However, lessons do not have to be an on going thing. Once you get to a point that you are comfortable, you don't have to keep taking them. I've never taken lessons but I only want to trail ride. I don't want to compete. But that doesn't mean I'm not trying to improve either.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## onuilmar

Me, I'm not that much into competition, but I find that I will probably always be taking lessons because it's fun. It makes riding more interesting (and safer). There is always something more to be learned/to be improved upon with horses.


----------



## LadyDreamer

You think trotting is fun, just wait until you learn to canter... And then just wait until you ride one who knows the fancy pants advanced moves... And then wait until your first jump... And then wait until your first buck... And then wait until your first ride out of the arena... And then wait until your first show... And then wait until you buy your first horse... And then wait until... Well just wait. There is always something to look forward to.


----------



## QtrBel

futuredoctor said:


> That was epic! I learned how to stop the horse, walk, trot, and post. I'm not very good at the last two but it was still super fun. I like trotting. It's bouncy and fun.


 Thank you gods above:wink:. He has FINALLY ridden a horse. Now that my yearling has attached herself to my youngest brother who knows maybe we'll see him here obsessing. Then you'll have someone to chat with. He's been there and done that with lessons though, I started him young.


----------



## wild old thing

michaelvanessa said:


> View attachment 213378


I LOVE this picture.


----------



## wild old thing

onuilmar said:


> Me, I'm not that much into competition, but I find that I will probably always be taking lessons because it's fun. It makes riding more interesting (and safer). There is always something more to be learned/to be improved upon with horses.


me too!

I like taking lessons because I figure if I am left to my own devices I'll just create some bad habits. and the thing with taking lessons is every lesson means I'm learnig something new and sometimes something really important. I really like group lessons because you can see - from other people's lessons and skillsets - ideas you can apply to your own riding. 

posting can be a small hell. I have a horse now that kind of has a gait that requires I post. And I don't mind it. I can't describe it - he has a very vigorous trot so a post is the most comfortable way to "sit" it, although I don't do much sitting. Hes narrower than my last guy, so the post is much much much much easier. Posting my last horse was like posting a GIANT barrel. It was harder than hard.


----------



## futuredoctor

I saw a beautiful girl today in riding gear. I wanted to tell her that I started riding but I'm too awkward. Haha. Fun Story.


Anyway... How long until I can learn how to canter?

Probably a while. I can't even post yet.


----------



## LadyDreamer

How long will depend on you. Learn to ride the trot really well, posting, moving with the horse, developing a rhythm. When you are comfortable there, and more comfortable and secure with your seat you will probably be taught. It all depends on you and your instructor. 

I bet you are doing great! Don't be afraid to make friends! You already have something in common.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## jinxremoving

futuredoctor said:


> I saw a beautiful girl today in riding gear. I wanted to tell her that I started riding but I'm too awkward. Haha. Fun Story.


Just throwing this out here... but if you're only interested in the idea of riding for the ladies, they will figure it out sooner or later and banish you into the realm of barn drama.

I'm not saying that's the case with you, but I see this from time to time with local guys who get into riding on their own accord. They realized it's an excellent avenue to pick up girls, but the problem is that the sport is a heck of a lot harder than it looks and they eventually quit after a few months of not making a lot of progress due to their attention being elsewhere in the ring.


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## futuredoctor

jinxremoving said:


> Just throwing this out here... but if you're only interested in the idea of riding for the ladies, they will figure it out sooner or later and banish you into the realm of barn drama.
> 
> I'm not saying that's the case with you, but I see this from time to time with local guys who get into riding on their own accord. They realized it's an excellent avenue to pick up girls, but the problem is that the sport is a heck of a lot harder than it looks and they eventually quit after a few months of not making a lot of progress due to their attention being elsewhere in the ring.


I became interested in riding before I even considered the possible benefits. In fact, at first I was somewhat nervous about riding with a bunch of girls, but it was someone on here who reminded me that it might actually be good thing, not a bad thing for me. I'd still ride if every rider in the US were male.


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## jamesqf

jinxremoving said:


> Just throwing this out here... but if you're only interested in the idea of riding for the ladies, they will figure it out sooner or later and banish you into the realm of barn drama.


Not only, but I admit it is a fringe benefit 

Though as it stands, the #1 lady in my horse-riding life has big brown eyes, four legs, and a lovely black mane & tail.


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## jinxremoving

jamesqf said:


> Not only, but I admit it is a fringe benefit
> 
> Though as it stands, the #1 lady in my horse-riding life has big brown eyes, four legs, and a lovely black mane & tail.


Hehe. If you are truly committed to the sport and the animals, the excessive amount of ladies that will give you attention is just the icing on the cake!

I'm with you though, the mane (get it?) girl in my life stands about 16hh and answers to the name Princess! For me, riding is the one thing that takes me out of day to day drama and gives me true peace of mind. People who don't ride will just never understand that connection we have with our horses, even if it seems a bit rocky at times when they decide to dump you on your back after throwing a tantrum in the jumper ring.


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## bsms

jamesqf said:


> ...Though as it stands, the #1 lady in my horse-riding life has big brown eyes, four legs, and a lovely black mane & tail.


I know the feeling...:wink:








​


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## futuredoctor

My instructor has me riding a gelding.


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## bsms

futuredoctor said:


> My instructor has me riding a gelding.


Oh well. I guess someday you can work your way up to riding mares...:lol:


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## wild old thing

futuredoctor said:


> My instructor has me riding a gelding.


Doesn't much matter what you're riding, if you love horses, you will fall in love with any horse you get to ride around on for a while. Can't be helped. They have such great personalities. 

If this is a good school, they'll have you riding horses that are mild tempered, don't usually spook and are used to beginners. Like I said in another comment, a good horse will teach nearly as much as a good instructor. Sex is irrelevant in the beginning - what you want is intuitive, patient and well mannered.

I started on a typical "babysitter" horse, then progressed to a horse who was the perfect classic western horse - only she was abused when she was young and has serous issues in the stall. So I went in prepared - taught me a lot about stall manners, how to handle a horse who is not in a good mood, etc etc. but when you got on board, **** she is the best ride in the world - truly telepathic. I am mad about her and I hope to one day buy her. 

Then there's my new horse - a roan Holsteiner, he's got back but he's got style too and he's got a weird hopping trot but a glorious and smooth lope. And my old babysitter horse - a big *** Morgan who finds his inner crazy now and then. 

Horses are amusing and unique and fun and amazing. I love em all. I love the curious babies and the droll older males. I love the females who run the show. Love em. I love riding, grooming, hanging at the barn stinking up my boots even after I turn out my horse, giving out a few pieces of carrots and apples and little treats to the other horses. (sucking up for the time I might get to ride one of em). :wink:

You'll learn to canter when your instructor thinks it's time. 

The canter in English is vigorous so be content to become adept at your walk and posting and sitting trot to gain experience, confidence and balance. You'll get the breezes and some thrills with a good fast trot that I can promise you. 

Contain yourself when you decide to check out the ladies. We ladies like to be checked out, but if a guy is doing a lot of it, it's unwelcome because we're at a barn (or any recreation or sport) for one reason - to work out and learn. 

A barn isn't a club. You go to learn to ride, for the horses, not too much for the people, although they're important in that they will help you. You don't want the women there to avoid you for fear of encouraging your romantic interest. Let them check YOU out, since you're the minority. Even my best friend in riding who is a man - and I hardly talk until the lessons are over. So I don't know what he's doing in class because I'm completely preoccupied with what I'm supposed to be doing. We're just friends but thats the way it is in this sport - friends with a mutual interest. 

You went through all these contortions starting so I don't want you to start off on the wrong foot. You were worried about what everyone was going to think of you so try not to go in the opposite direction and become a royal PITA guy who's always looking at some girl's butt. (women KNOW)

Just ride. Riders love other riders for their love of riding. That's why we're all there.


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## futuredoctor

Posting is tough.


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## futuredoctor

What are the customs regarding when to wear what color breeches? Someone on here said you should only wear white to shows. What are other customs?


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## plomme

Hunters tend to wear tan or greenish beige breeches with knee patches for showing and often schooling while dressage riders tend to wear darker, full-seat breeches for schooling and clinics (navy, brown, black, grey, etc.). I have no idea why the colour norms have developed. The type of patches you have (knee vs. full-seat) is based on function. Dressage riders tend to like the stickiness of full-seats since we want to sit deep in our saddles. But some hunters/jumpers prefer full-seats and some dressage riders like knee patches. 

Don't wear white gloves for schooling. 

Brown tack is out of fashion in dressage. Some people have been saying it's making a comeback for years now but I haven't seen it. So if you're in the market for a secondhand dressage saddle, a brown one can usually be had for less than an identical version in black. Different nosebands, browbands, padding colours are in fashion at different times - dropped nosebands are considered a bit old fashioned where I am, as are black bridles with white padding.

Brown boots are generally for schooling and clinics only, although some people are getting more adventurous with colours for showing.

At some barns, both dressage and hunter/jumper, you are expected to wear polo shirts and belts all the time while others are super casual and you can pretty much roll out of bed in your pajamas. Some barns, like mine, expect you to use only white or black saddle pads and boots/wraps. Hunters tend to go more crazy with their colours from what I have seen, although there are certainly dressage riders with wild colour combinations. Brands and fashion *in general* seem to be a bigger deal among hunters while I would have no idea what brand of breeches or coats or boots my stablemates wear except for the fact that we give each other recommendations for things to buy or do group orders from Calevo sometimes. Not that there aren't brand crazy people in dressage, but it's nothing like I have seen in hunter/jumpers where fashion trends seem to move faster and to take hold fiercely.

Everyone's first priority is riding at my barn, but we spend so much time together and it is natural to become close. It is a little bit of a club. We watch each other's lessons, which can be a great way to support each other and also learn outside of your own lesson. However, sitting in on lessons is discouraged at some barns and some people don't like having other people watch them ride. We also travel to shows just to watch our stablemates compete.


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## michaelvanessa

*sides spliting.*

hiya bms i have got to tell you i split my sides laughing in deed.
do you think he is ready to be thrust in to the world of rideing mares or is he stuck with gildings.
i will say this i lost my 13 hh blue eyed blond haired babe 2 years a go now she was a cremello.
i must admit though quincy is a gilding and so is tricky lol.
but hay i made the break with snowy and tammy rip my 2 girls.


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## futuredoctor

So I don't have a discipline other than regular english. What should I wear to lessons once my instructor wants me to get proper attire?

What do you wear to english lessons?


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## futuredoctor

^I like that horse. I want that horse.


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## jinxremoving

futuredoctor said:


> So I don't have a discipline other than regular english. What should I wear to lessons once my instructor wants me to get proper attire?
> 
> What do you wear to english lessons?


Breeches, one's that aren't skin tight for guys. You will also want either leather half chaps with paddock boots or tall boots. I would wait to make sure you're fully committed before buying tall boots but f you think you're in this for the long haul than tall boots are the way to go.


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## jinxremoving

wild old thing said:


> A barn isn't a club. You go to learn to ride, for the horses, not too much for the people, although they're important in that they will help you.


That's the truth! Barns, especially really competitive show barns, can be worse than high school when it comes to drama.

My advice to the OP, as you start to meet people at the barn and know them by name... stay out of the drama. Do not repeat anything negative they say about anyone else. Try and always stay partial to every argument, even ones that are incredibly stupid and you have a strong opinion about. It's so easy to get sucked into the drama, more so if you're a younger rider since it's usually the teenagers causing it.


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## usandpets

futuredoctor said:


> So I don't have a discipline other than regular english. What should I wear to lessons once my instructor wants me to get proper attire?
> 
> What do you wear to english lessons?


Ask your instructor. They may or may not want you to wear certain things. They will probably say boots for sure but they may be fine with just jeans and a t shirt.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## boots

futuredoctor said:


> ^I like that horse. I want that horse.


You have good taste in horses. Put a photo of one like that (with permission or from a magazine) on your wall. Might help keep you motivated for your future.  I used to tell myself to "keep an eye on the prize."


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## futuredoctor

Update: I had my second lesson today. It went super well. It gets more fun each time I ride. I'm starting to get a little bit better at the posting trot.


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## QtrBel

Pics, pics, post pics... even it is asking your instructor to snap one after the lesson for proof:wink: We want to see..... ETA you have great taste in horse. You'll need to be a highly specialized Dr to be affording that one I suspect


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## Raven13

I think it's fine for a male to want to ride horses, just think...more ladies for you! lol I'm just playing with you  But there may seem like there are less guys that want to/do ride horses, however if you look at the televised events the riders are about split half and half women and men, a lot of times I even think there are more men. Especially in polo I would think, that's a VERY hands on kind of competitive riding that guys can really get into.

I used to ride with a 17 year old guy in my group lessons when I first started. So it's not unusual, I think it's great that you're not afraid to and are trying to go after something that you're interested in.

As far as getting into it, just start looking around your area for stables that offer lessons, call 'em up and get started! Trust me they won't care that you're a guy because it's not as weird as you might think for a guy to want to do it. I mean look at all the cowboys! Not to mention show jumpers, eventers, even dressage riders (which is looked at by outsiders as the epitome of 'prissy, girlly froo froo riding' what those outsiders don't know is that dressage is the basis of all riding, not matter what you decide to do and in what kind of saddle ) 

Concerning which discipline you should go after? What ever takes your interest. If you're not sure and can't choose as far as english riding goes hunter jumpers is a good place to start to teach you how to ride "properly", from there a you can learn a little dressage and you can pretty much build on that to take it anywhere you want to go in the horse world. If you're leaning towards western you'd have to ask someone that rides western, I do not so I couldn't tell you were a good place to start there would be.

Depending on where you live may also kind of decide whether you're going to ride western or english for you. Like in my area, you'd be hard pressed to find a lesson barn that teaches western. So when you call around just ask what they have to offer, and maybe just warn them that you are in your late teens just in case they only have ancient lesson ponies that can't take the load of an older teenage guy. 

But other than that, just have fun, do what you like and don't worry about what anyone is going to think about a guy riding horses...especially us horse people!


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## futuredoctor

I decided to take English lessons. I like it better and I believe it would prepare me better for equine sports such as polo. Also English is much more common as I live in _New England_.


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## JulieG

I took lessons for years growing up from a male instructor and he was great. That barn was split pretty much half and half as well- in Ohio.

The current NRHA Derby champion is a guy and he doesn't look feminine at all:

HF Mobster / Jordan Larson / Heritage Farms, owner / 228.5 on Vimeo


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## futuredoctor

JulieG said:


> I took lessons for years growing up from a male instructor and he was great. That barn was split pretty much half and half as well- in Ohio.
> 
> The current NRHA Derby champion is a guy and he doesn't look feminine at all:
> 
> HF Mobster / Jordan Larson / Heritage Farms, owner / 228.5 on Vimeo


He rides western though.


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## JulieG

Sorry! Didn't see the post you had made right before me.


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## Josh

I've never really considered horses as feminine. To be honest I generally pay so much attention to the horses I don't consider the rider. My wife told me I was born in the wrong century. Said I'd done better in a time that I could have rode in to town paid a woman for a bath and a tickle then lived with my horse the rest of the time. I'd been hung as a horse thief.... 

BTW... My mom taught me to ride and I learned English and I can promise you nobody has ever considered me to be feminine. Don't worry about it and don't limit yourself to one style. Be proud. Anyone who doesn't feel something in their hearts for horses aren't masculine. Their fools. Just my .02 worth.


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## mangomelon

I'm in Oregon and there is one guy at my barn...I would love it if there were more guys who rode horses... I have to believe people when they say they are out there because they don't seem to exist... oh well I'll find my cowboy someday  good luck with your lessons!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## futuredoctor

Well no photos or videos of me yet, but this is the awesome dude that I ride.


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## futuredoctor

futuredoctor said:


> Well no photos or videos of me yet, but this is the awesome dude that I ride.


Never mind. It didn't upload correctly. Refer to my avatar.


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## Glenn van N

futuredoctor said:


> I guess I'll just go for it, I'm also a little bit nervous about riding for the first time, I'll probably suck.
> 
> I think I will tell my parents that I'm doing it for polo or something.


_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Glenn van N

Listen man:
Stop thinking of what others think of you. You live only once, so try to do whatever positive thing that comes across your mind. 

On a side note: 
I am gay.
Grew up riding western in a ranch in the Midwest.
Started riding English at age 30 in NY because I found that I was good at jumping. 
Just started playing Polo with the local amateur team in my state. 
Wanting to try dressage seriously - the gayest of them all - but haven't gotten the time yet. So one day. 
Men look with envy when they see me riding a horse. 
Women are salivating when they see me riding a horse. There is something about: "Oh look at that guy's seat moving with the horse!" that just drives them nuts. 
There is really zero disadvantage about knowing to ride horse properly. 

Yes you might be suck at first or second lesson. That's to be expected. And don't be afraid to fall. As long as you know how to "ball + roll yourself" - like the thing you do at gymnastic class to protect your neck - and wear good helmet you'll be OK.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## eeo11horse

My trainer is a male and while he primarily rides reining horses, he also gives English riding lessons. Riding is in no way feminine. The only reason horse showing looks that way is because we work so hard to make it look nice and easy and pretty. But that's all for show, the behind the scenes work is dirty and in no way glamorous!


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## jamesqf

You should also remember that a lot of riders (perhaps a great majority of them) have absolutely no interest in showing.


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## sheenanaginz

Once I heard a guy rider say he didn't mind being the only boy at the barn because it meant more girls for him haha. Im sure all the ladies at the barn will be thrilled to have your company


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## Gallop On

Out here, in the South, about 70% of the riders I know are actually males, although they all ride Western. I have yet to see a guy riding English out here, but that doesnt mean anything. About 99% of the population here rides Western :lol: AND, out of all the guys Ive seen riding, Ive only ever seen two obvious gay guys. I for one would be _thrilled_ to see a male rider riding English around here. I think its wrong how people stereotype male English riders as being gay... No need for that nonsense. Most people are under the impression that horses are only rainbows and unicorns, well I got a little something to tell you... :rofl: For the longest time riding was dominated by males, now all of a sudden its a feminine sport? Wow, thats strange. And, the majority of riders competing way up are males anyway. 

As far as riding clothes go, dont stress it. You dont want to jump right in and buy a whole bunch of gear (it can get quite pricey) until you know for _sure_ this is what you want to do. And once you do decide, and want to get the gear, then the fun of shopping for riding clothes starts. A helmet, a pair or two of tan/black/navy/whatever color schooling breeches, paddock boot and half chaps, and a polo, although defiantly not necessary.

Im glad your taking lessons! Its such a beautiful and brilliant sport. Dont worry about what others might (but probably wont) think about it, seriously. 

Oh, and I love your taste in horse, thats one mighty fine Arabian


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## bkylem

Think about this for a second please.
Does it seem more natural to engage in a sport of both men and women or one that is solely for groups of men. Which one might seem the oddest to an outside observer ?

I am a male and ride weekly. I love the mix and couldn't envision an all-male horse riding stable. Relax, ride and enjoy.


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## MyBoyPuck

Glenn van N said:


> Women are salivating when they see me riding a horse. There is something about: "Oh look at that guy's seat moving with the horse!" that just drives them nuts.
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Glenn nailed it there! That alone should put your mind at ease. Just go ride, have fun and enjoy all the attention and help you'll be getting from the ladies. :wink:


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## Bedhead

Glenn van N said:


> Listen man:
> 
> Women are salivating when they see me riding a horse. There is something about: "Oh look at that guy's seat moving with the horse!" that just drives them nuts.
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


As a lady, I can confirm this 1000%.

We do get a tad bit excited when a new guy comes to the barn


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## wtwg

Marry me!

There are way too little guys my age who love horses as much as I do!!


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## bkylem

I have responded before, but what is this gender factor you keep referring to. I am a male and have been taking lessons for five months. I take them because it is the best day of my week. I love it and couldn't imagine basing my desire on the male/female ratio. No offense, but I sense a bit of insecurity mixed with sexism.

The only female that I give my undivided attention to is a five year old filly named "Georgia".

Quick thinking and just ride if you want to or find yourself a manly pursuit if you don't.

I don't mean to be hard, but you are grossly over thinking this. Ride !


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## kfreker

Dude i was in the same boat as you 2 months ago. Never rode before always wanted to when i was a kid so i finally did it. Didnt think twice about what people thought. funny thing is the posts above are correct. GIRLS LOVE IT. my female friend who rides says girls go crazy when they see a good looking dude riding. AND ive had first hand experience at my barn. EVEN WITH A HELMET ON!! haha. I also first volunteered at a therapeutic riding center...at the orentation ALL chicks i was the only dude...and the one girl even asked my why am i here i was like to help kids ride? and she was like noo whats your angle....i laughed and said there wasent any seriously. They thought i was trying to pick up girl at this place....but man just dont worry what people think and go have fun...its amazing once an horse starts to trust you....hope this helps!!

From another DUDE rider!


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## futuredoctor

Wow. Didn't even know this thread was still going. Yeah I've been riding for a while now and it's been great.


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## danny67

Ya know, I bought a convertable for my _chick magnet_, but my horses have been better magnets and always get more female visitors than I do. 

I woke up one day at age 26 wanting to learn how to ride. No idea why. Had never had a horsy thought before. 20 years later still at it.


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## thetempest89

I deserve an award. I read all the pages. All 30.

I loveee geldings. They are my choice of gender. The first lesson horse I rode about 6 months ago, was a gelding. He was part clydesdale and part tb. He had hard sides, and man DID he kill my legs for someone who hasn't ridden in 8 years.

Now I'm riding a mare, she's in her 20's. She could give anyone a run for her money. She's a very tough mare, not everyone wants to handle her. I love the horse world, every horse is different with their own quirks and personalities. And they all have something different to offer to teach.


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## frlsgirl

We have 2 men at our barn who ride regularly- no it's not weird. One is 73 years old and he rides almost every day. The other one is our farrier.


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## futuredoctor

Some reasons dudes should try riding:
- It's super fun.
- Horses have swag.
- Good workout #sixpackabs
- Get to work with lots of ladies 
- It's dirty.


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