# Non-instructor teaching someone how to ride... your thoughts, please!



## With Grace (Oct 20, 2011)

I think it's very doable! I am starting my non horsey hubby on learning to take care of my mare, we started last week with hoof picking. He was quite good LOL! He follows instructions very well. He won't be riding my horse, as he rides Western, and my mare is trained in dressage, but he is going to learn horse care and how to lunge, so that when I can't get to the barn he can go lunge her and check on her for me. 

I will be teaching my 10 yr old son to ride though! My sporty little football player has decided he wants to ride, and compete...in dressage! I was thrilled, and although I am learning myself, I am going to teach him everything I know


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## Ladytrails (Jul 28, 2010)

I agree - you can teach him the basics, or to whatever level you both are comfortable with, and that will get him off to a good start and help him be a better horseman. That may be all he needs and wants, in fact!


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## .Delete. (Jan 7, 2008)

Curious will you be putting him back on the mare that tested him? I'm kind of confused why you put a beginner on a naughty horse to begin with while you rode the 18yr old. Im not being rude I am just really curious about your thoughts behind that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Fowl Play (Sep 22, 2009)

In my experience, teaching someone that close goes south real quick. I cannot instruct my daughter or my husband, but my barn owner/trainer's son, sure. Same goes for her...teaching her son was some of the worst lessons in her history. When she tries to instruct her husband, she makes sure that there are other people who need to work on the same thing riding at the same time so she can "instruct" them and make him work on teh same stuff. It can cause some real tension in the relationship. 

Do you have a friend who could help you out? That relationship isn't as important as the one between you and your boyfriend. Maybe you can work better teaching him than I can with my husband, but we've been together for nearly 17 years--we know each other pretty well at this point and it's still a struggle sometimes.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

It's possible but not entirely safe since an instructor usually has an eye for things that you may not see, and knows what is need to know NOW versus what you need to know later.

Just be careful. Saving up for lessons would be so beneficial.. especially for his confidence if things get hairy again.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

As long as you and him are not into serious riding and you use a nice quiet horse, I think there is nothing wrong with you teaching him the basics. My advise would be to keep it safe(!) and encouraging for you b/f, because for the beginner it's very easy to lose the confidence and hard to get it back.


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## kiwi79 (Nov 11, 2011)

I think you can easily teach someone what you know without being a qualified trainer. As long as you are always in control of the situation and he is on a steady horse then go for it! I would happily put a beginner on my horse and let them plod in the paddock, I could give them the very basics like mounting, their position and what to do with their hands but I probably wouldnt go further than that. Although it sounds like you have more years in the saddle than me!


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I think we (equestrians) tend to get too serious about stuff like this and over think it. I believe it's perfectly normal to 'teach' him to ride, I would.


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## Snizard93 (Oct 12, 2011)

Sure you can. I want to do it with my boyfriend, when he plucks up the courage!


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## usandpets (Jan 1, 2011)

My wife and I are by no means instructors/trainers for riding. However, we have taught several people the basics with riding. I would keep doing what you did, let him ride and you ride with, and just point out things for him. 

I'm also curious as to why you had him ride your gelding and not your mare. You really should have him on the best behaved and easy to ride horse, at least until he gets the hang of it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

To see just how interested he is, I'd start him from the ground up, picking hooves, grooming, mucking stalls if you have them, all that good stuff, feeding. A good teacher explains why but remember, men have short attention spans and don't like to be corrected so show him well the first time and let him struggle with it.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

Saddlebag said:


> To see just how interested he is, I'd start him from the ground up, picking hooves, grooming, mucking stalls if you have them, all that good stuff, feeding. A good teacher explains why but remember, men have short attention spans and don't like to be corrected so show him well the first time and let him struggle with it.


1 - THAT is a good way to get him interested..."Clean the stalls for two weeks, and if you haven't found someone else, we can talk about riding!"

2 - "And boyfriend, your attention span is short, being an inferior male, so I'm not going to explain much."

Yep, THAT advice will do wonders for the OP's love life! :evil:


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## Spirit Lifter (Apr 23, 2012)

I'm teaching my fiance' on a 28 yr old trail horse mare. I could probably tie him up with duct tape, throw him in the saddle, and he'd still be fine on this horse. Although, like that, he probably wouldn't be too confortable:lol: The right horse can make all the difference more than the instructor IMHO.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Riding horses isn't like riding a bike, we all know that. It can get ugly VERY quickly.

Trust me if you have doubts, I used to teach at a Therapeutic riding center for autistic children. Sometimes we'd get people thinking they knew it all (oh boy..) and so we'd give them a chance and it would never end well. Either a kid would fall and I'd have to catch them or a horse would freak and hurt the help.. 

Now you probably know way more than they did, but still. Be careful!


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

bsms said:


> 1 - THAT is a good way to get him interested..."Clean the stalls for two weeks,


That's part of being with horse person. :wink:


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## Remy410 (Nov 7, 2011)

If you do decide to teach him I would make sure he is going to take it seriously and respect your instruction.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

kitten_Val said:


> That's part of being with horse person. :wink:


Eventually, yes. But the idea is to ENCOURAGE someone to take an interest in riding, not to raise a hurdle and say, "Jump this to prove you are worthy!"

If they learn to like riding and horses, then the rest can and will follow. 

If I want to get someone interested in sports, I get them to play first. I don't tell them to do pushups, and when they can do 50 non-stop, THEN they can play basketball...


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

Saddlebag said:


> but remember, men have short attention spans and don't like to be corrected so show him well the first time and let him struggle with it.


However did we men ever learn to run nuclear power plants, submarines, fighter jets, spacecraft, etc., etc?


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## Britt (Apr 15, 2008)

I believe he'll take it seriously. He's wanting to go riding a lot more, and really likes horses in general and wants to ride with me a lot. 


However, let me explain the reason why I put him on my six year old Dakota and not my eighteen year old Gypsie. 

Gypsie has been out of work since last November/December. She may be nolder horse, but she hates pasture-rest. With her, she's not a horse that you can not ride for a few months and then go and get back on and she's the same as she was before the rest. With her, when she gets a break for a few months and you go to get back on her, if you're not careful she'll take you for a rodeo (she's not being mean by it, she does it because she's having fun and is in a good mood). Those first few rides after a long break, she'll kick up and play-buck.

Dakota, on the other hand, is steady and he's been riding all winter and spring long with no break. He knew what to do and he won't buck, kick out, or bolt like Gypsie will attempt to do on that first ride back in work. He's a brat in that he tests people and can get bratty, but he won't do anything else.

I figured that my boyfriend would be safer on Dakota than on Gypsie, even though Dakota was a brat and a one-person horse for the most part. However, I've been riding Gypsie a bit more and she's gotten her mindset back into 'work mode', so I feel she's good enough for my boyfriend to ride now. Once she gets back into work mode, Gypsie is the best kids horse and babysitter horse... she just gets super excited on those first rides after a long time off.

Does that explain things?


Anyway, I'm thinking about starting my boyfriend on the basics of grooming and picking hooves out (though he already does that, lol... ). I'm going to explain to him the brushes and how to use them (aka, don't use a stiff-bristled curry on the face, etc...), how to check for rocks in the hooves, then go on to tacking up and stuff and slowly teach him to actually ride better...

First things first, though... He's got to buy some cowboy boots...


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## yadlim (Feb 2, 2012)

OK - here is the jaded point of view. I saw that up front so you know to take it with a grain (or maybe a whole bucket) of salt. 

I have NEVER met a trainer who was worth listening to. I have learned ALL of my skills my watching what other people are doing, reading everything I can, and trial and error. Going out on trail is a great way to get a SO interested in your favorite passtime. 

I have shown many young people and older people some pointers on how I think they can ride better. I am not a person trainer, but I will help when I can. 

I also doin't like 'horse trainers' as I don't trust them with my horse. 

I think you can have some great bonding time with your SO over horses. Show him some basics, but keep it FUN. If everytime you go out you teach him one more thing, you are on the right trach to a good relationship and he is on the way to learnign to love horses. 

As long as the horse is not going to toss him or make his fustrated, a brat is not necessacrily a bad mount for a new rider. But SAFETY first. 

I can toss complete novices on my gelding in the arena and not worry about thier safety - he won't do a damm thing they say, nor will he go over a walk unless they have good enough balance, but they are safe and can enjoy the feel of a horse under them.

Most important, have fun at it! Make sure he has fun at it!


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## Adam (Feb 6, 2012)

Originally Posted by *Saddlebag* 
_but remember, men have short attention spans and don't like to be corrected so show him well the first time and let him struggle with it._



mildot said:


> However did we men ever learn to run nuclear power plants, submarines, fighter jets, spacecraft, etc., etc?


Yeah, this ticks me off so much, I really ough to.... Oh look! something shiny....


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## HorseCrazyGirlForever (Apr 27, 2012)

Well, I am being tought by a friend. This is probably the only way I am going to learn..


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

bsms said:


> If they learn to like riding and horses, then the rest can and will follow.


Not always. I've seen both sides.


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## redpony (Apr 17, 2012)

I wanna know why you are dating a guy that doesn't wear cowboy boots in the first place, lol


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

Just keep in mind that you have to be assertive. Break it down in a way that a child would understand what you're saying. And if you see he is not listening to you, stop him and correct him. If he is on the horse and is not listening (difference in not listening and not getting what your saying) get him off the horse. He must understand that it cant be taken lightly and that he is at risk if he doesnt listen. And always end on a light, fun, safe note.


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## crimsonsky (Feb 18, 2011)

personally, i don't mind explaining the logistics or reasoning behind doing what i do with a horse, but actually trying to teach my boyfriend how to ride i draw the line at. i don't want to end up frustrated with him or he with me so i find it's just easier to have someone else teach him.


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## blue eyed pony (Jun 20, 2011)

I'm in the (very slow) process of encouraging my boyfriend to learn to ride. He occasionally hops up on my horse and enjoys a slow walk but the walk I encourage in my horse is a "going places" walk and that's too much because he did fall off on about his third ride and it kind of scared him a little bit. I'm just working on getting his confidence back up, and I encourage him as much as I can without being pushy. I figure if he spends more time around my horses and doesn't get hurt, he'll see that it's mostly all good fun and that falling off is not an everyday occurrence.

Once we've sorted the confidence issues, if he wants to, he can learn to ride really well from an instructor, and I'll help him find one. If he doesn't want to do anything beyond keeping me company and plodding, then I'll support him in that too.


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## usandpets (Jan 1, 2011)

Adam said:


> Yeah, this ticks me off so much, I really ough to.... Oh look! something shiny....


That is so like my wife! ROFL

Maybe it ISN'T gender biased?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

usandpets said:


> That is so like my wife! ROFL
> 
> Maybe it ISN'T gender biased?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It isn't, haha!

I'll just add, once there was the case where my friend (who was head over heels for me apparently) asked me to teach him how to ride (with my boss' blessing) since he was watching me schooling a greenie. 

So begrudgingly I got off the horse and put him on and before I even had a chance to say the first word, he decided he knew everything and would show off. Well he scared the tar out of that green mare and she was runnng around crazy, he had his legs way out in front of him and he says "See I can do it"

I about ripped him off of that horse and got back on and calmed her down. Dumbest idea ever, wasted my time too. 

But on the other side of the coin, we went trail riding (my family) and they have never been on a horse before so they were very clueless as to what to do and too many of them for the guides to break everything down. So I began to teach a little, and you know what? They all listened, and they were all very happy with how their horse didn't run off or snatch grass or plow through their reins or ignore them. I love seeing happy horses and happy riders 

So it can go both ways. Just cause they are men, doesn't mean they are all the same. And that they are all airheads like in that first scenario. 

It depends on you too, as a teacher.

Just fyi this wasn't for the OP, for everyone else on the thread. OP has it covered.


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## Rascaholic (Oct 4, 2010)

Adam said:


> Originally Posted by *Saddlebag*
> _but remember, men have short attention spans and don't like to be corrected so show him well the first time and let him struggle with it._
> 
> 
> ...


Ok that made me spit out my coffee! Thanks I needed a laugh. 

I'd give it a go at teaching the BF to ride, if he is receptive and willing to listen. I see no reason you can't balance basic care with riding lessons. Just have him follow along what you do with one, with the other. The first few days it'll take longer for their basic care, but it'll be worth it.


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## Britt (Apr 15, 2008)

He does seem receptive to learning. 

Yesterday we went to the monthly horse sale and he was very, very willing to hear everything I had to say and was asking questions and all and paying close attention to my answers. I've been to the sale almost every month for the past several years and know how to spot a drugged horse, etc... (though I didn't get into all that just yet, I basically explained how to tell if the horse is a good, well trained horse when it comes through the ring to be sold and how to tell if it's scared witless and may be dangerous once gotten home, etc...

I also bought two bridles and BF took them from me the second the money exchanged hands and took them to the car for me so I could continue talking to the seller and browsing...

Later we went back to my place and decided to work with Jaxxon and Dakota for a bit (I actually asked BF what he wanted to do... he wanted to go work with my horses instead of doing anything else). BF was an excellent help in carrying tack to and from the car and can handle my young stallion Jaxxon very well from the ground (Jaxxon seems to realy like BF, too... Dakota is basically a one-person horse -mine-,Gypsie really 'doesn't care', but Jax and BF get along very well...)... After I get Jax gelded and professionally trained (he's already trained, but I want him to be better), Jax will prolly end up and be BF's riding horse... he's super calm, slower paced, and, though a bit timid, is a great minded, willing horse and I know he's gonna be the best horse I own once he's better trained...


AND.... BF now owns a pair of cowboy boots. Lol.


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## homehorsetraining (Apr 24, 2012)

If you are comfortable teaching him the basics there shouldn't be a problem. You should go into it knowing your limitations and avoid teaching things you don't know enough about. Anyone can tell someone to keep their heels down, shorten the reins and keep their shoulders back. This isn't something you should have to pay someone else to teach him if you have a horse that is ok for beginning riders. Just be aware of your skills and his and move on to a more knowledgeable trainer if things get dicey.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Well, I would say -_ possibly_, but.....

I never had formal lessons when I was younger. - I was on the back of a horse before I was 3. And, I can tell you from personal experience - it is a _very bad idea_ to try to instruct a beginnier if you have never seen how a professional approaches it. What you know from miles and miles of riding and riding many different horses does _not_ in any way mean that you know how to communicate "how to", or even describe it. I know, I have tried it ... and once I saw how a professional approaches a beginner I felt like a fool.

And, its a very bad idea to put a beginner on anything other than a beginner's horse - you are making it difficult, if not impossible, for them to be "encouraged" by their progress.


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## .Delete. (Jan 7, 2008)

I could not agree more about putting him on a beginners horse. Your first post stating that you put him on your naughty mare while you rode the broker horse was very disturbing and possibly a red flag that maybe you shouldn't be teaching him. If you don't have enough common sense to put him on the safest horse you have then I would worry about other judgement calls you might make while teaching him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## .Delete. (Jan 7, 2008)

It also worries me that you have him handling a stallion. I don't care how "good minded" it might seem stallions are unpredictable an dangerous especially when they are young. Having an beginner handling a stallion is just a recipie for disaster. The horse could act up and your bf could panic an it would turn into a dangerous mess very quickly. 

Your judgement calls so far with your bf really worry me. Common sense!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Britt (Apr 15, 2008)

> I could not agree more about putting him on a beginners horse. Your first post stating that you put him on your naughty mare while you rode the broker horse was very disturbing and possibly a red flag that maybe you shouldn't be teaching him. If you don't have enough common sense to put him on the safest horse you have then I would worry about other judgement calls you might make while teaching him.


Actually, if you'll reread through the posts, especially my explanation of why I put him on DAKOTA, who is my GELDING and not of my mare, you'll see that Dakota was the better horse at that moment due to how Gypsie acts when not ridden in a long while. Now that she's back into a working mindset, he'll be riding her until he's a better rider.



> It also worries me that you have him handling a stallion. I don't care how "good minded" it might seem stallions are unpredictable an dangerous especially when they are young. Having an beginner handling a stallion is just a recipie for disaster. The horse could act up and your bf could panic an it would turn into a dangerous mess very quickly.
> 
> Your judgement calls so far with your bf really worry me. Common sense!!!


Up until I got Jaxxon, I thought stallions were unpredictable and dangerous as well. Jax is neither. He acts just like a 20 year old, been-there, done-that gelding. I've been around stallions before, and none of the ones I've been around have ever been dangerous or unpredictable, though up until I got Jaxxon, I never really had handled a stallion.

Also, we were in a safe area. We were in Jaxxon's pasture (where he's pastured with some cows only... well, I put my gelding in with him the othr day, but when we were messing with Jax, Dakota wasn't around) and I was supervising, as I know Jaxxon better than anyone. Jax was a doll and behaved perfectly with BF, as expected.

Jaxxon isn't dangerous. I've had all ages of people on his back from toddler to five year old, to twelve year old, and fifteen/sixteen year olds, beginners and more experienced horse people alike and he's never taken a step out of line. 


I wouldn't put BF in a situation if I thought it was dangerous. Bottom line is, I know my horses and their quirks better than anyone else and I feel like I'm capable of teaching BF how to ride MY horses. I'm not teaching him how to ride fancy showjumpers or cutters. I'm not teaching him to ride perfectly correctly because I don't even ride perfectly. I'm teaching him to ride my Trail Horses and I'm teaching him how to react to their quirks and how to handle them when they decide they want to do something differently than what we want them to do.


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## .Delete. (Jan 7, 2008)

Britt said:


> *Up until I got Jaxxon, I thought stallions were unpredictable and dangerous as well. Jax is neither. He acts just like a 20 year old, been-there, done-that gelding. I've been around stallions before, and none of the ones I've been around have ever been dangerous or unpredictable, though up until I got Jaxxon, I never really had handled a stallion.*
> 
> Also, we were in a safe area. We were in Jaxxon's pasture (where he's pastured with some cows only... well, I put my gelding in with him the othr day, but when we were messing with Jax, Dakota wasn't around) and I was supervising, as I know Jaxxon better than anyone. Jax was a doll and behaved perfectly with BF, as expected.
> 
> ...


I see alot of holes in this.

The paragraph in bold proves that you are NOT equipped to be teaching anyone anything. With an outlook like that i wouldn't let you near my horses. He is a stallion. A young one at that. An you have put toddlers on his back? Are you kidding me? The first rule of owning and handling a stallion is never trust a stallion. You have already admitted that you haven't had much experience with stallions, so you really /dont/ know what they are like. Stallions run on basic instinct more then any other horses. Once they catch pheromones of a mare its bad news bears. Especially with untrained young ones! You said he recently dropped in December on another thread. Your also worried he has bred to another mare. You also have put him out with mares before, assuming that he "wont cover them". To me, you seem like a beginner rider yourself. 

To the last paragraph. Your first post you said you put him on a naughty mare. A completely new rider on a naughty mare. You mentioned that you should have put him on the broker horse you were riding but you didn't. And he had problems, which probably could have gotten him hurt! Sounds like a dangerous situation to me. You need to teach him how to actually ride first before he can handle "bad" or "quirky" situations. I don't care if he is only learning to lead ponies for pony rides. You give him a good horse to lead around for a few weeks before you even consider giving him a "quirky" one. Putting a new rider on a bad horse can lead to so many problems, like lack of confidence, bad riding habits, or injuries. You, the more experienced rider, rides the dead broke one while your BF, the completely new rider, rides the "quirky" one. I do not think you should be the one teaching him. If he wants to learn send him to a profession who will make better judgement calls and use more common sense. Sounds like he is going to get hurt, or maybe even you if you keep trusting your stallion whole-heartedly.


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## usandpets (Jan 1, 2011)

You know what Delete? You need to reread her first post. She rode the mare and he rode the gelding. She also explained in a later post why she decided that. 

You are entitled to your opinions but I think you went a little overboard to the point of bashing the OP. I personally have not handled a stallion before except when we got our first horse. He was only that for a few days. That has nothing to do with being able to show another person how to ride. My wife and I have shown several people how to ride. 

She said she knows her horses quite well. Any horse can be dangerous. A recent thread of mine proves that. I was kicked in the gut by a gelding that I didn't think would. We've had kids and beginners on him. He knows that I am alpha of the herd but he still kicked out. There have been times that we put kids or beginners on my wife's horse that can be a PITA at times. I guess by your standards, we shouldn't be teaching people either. 

One last thing. You say that her BF should go to a professional to learn. She said in her first post that they can't afford a trainer. 

I don't see why she can't teach him. Yes sometimes we, meaning everyone, make questionable decisions. Sometimes they work out and sometimes they don't. I'm sure you've done it too but did someone jump all over you for doing it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## .Delete. (Jan 7, 2008)

Yes I made several mistakes like this when I first got into horses. I put alot of people in danger because I never really thought it through. Thankfully my actions never got anyone hurt. I wish someone would have jumped down my throat back then! Looking back I needed it. I would have done things with better judgement. I was a backyard rider such as she is. I was self taught for the most part. I wish I would have joined this forum in my earlier years. I would have gotten chewed out many times and I would have deserved it everytime. Heck iv gotten bashed here more times then I can count. But I learned something from it. Sure it sucks an makes you feel like crap but some things need said. 

I don't care how well you think you know a stallion they are still a stallion. Mares come first in their book. Especially a young stallion! She's putting her bf in potentially dangerous situations
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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