# Anyone feeling a bit left out?



## Vintagesteel (Sep 22, 2015)

For those of you without a horse of their own, for those with not as much experience with horses? 

Since I am in a class and now a team, it is a little hard not to feel this way. I love to talk, but with most conversations- as expected in the barn- revolve around "How's your horse", "Did you go to the show and win a ribbon", "who's leasing what horse." Etc. 
Am I jealous? I won't lie- sometimes I am. Maybe if I could be a somewhat known rider in my class, maybe if I owned or leased a horse there. Or simply, maybe if I had the money to do those things. Sometimes I really think I've fell for the wrong passion. 
Whether that's true or not- it's impossible to tell. Anyway to the point-I don't have such experience in the horse world. Never grew up with them, never, never leased, never owned. It's hard to find people my age in the barn that haven't done one of those things. I realize because of this, for me, it's hard to make conversation with actual horse people.
I feel a bit uncomfortable in the class sometimes when the teacher is..I don't know.. a bit more engaged with the two girls that have horses, and knows the material of stable management. Maybe I'm just nitpicking now. :icon_rolleyes:
I think that I have a real worry that I won't be around horses due to other reasons in a few years. I feel like I wouldn't have made the most of my time . Or I guess depending on how you look at it, I badly want to be that girl that leases or owns a horse, to ride there and actually talk to the people there. I forgot what you call that, when you perceive yourself as inferior in a way (because this is probably what this is ha//). If it makes any difference, I am the only one in my family that likes horses. If this matters/if you're interested in knowing- I am african american, and am middle class. 
I'm sorry to vent my concerns-maybe when I have my lesson tomorrow- I'll have a good story to share. I notice my mood kind of dips when I'm at the barn sometimes ahaha..

Thanks for reading guys!


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## CityslickerfrFla (Jan 11, 2016)

*I'm in the same boat!*

You are not alone in this! I've never been around horses until I started lessons - never owned, leased or grew up with them around me, my family or friends. I can't count my plastic play horse either or the pony ride I fell off at a birthday party.

At the barn I ride at, they all get into their horse talk, how their horses are doing, etc. While I wish I could engage in the same conversation, half the time, I'm kinda lost with what they're talking about and secretly google it when I get home or read about it. I figure it's an opportunity to learn and let's face it, people in the horse world have their own language and can't help talking about it.  Maybe someday I'll get to lease a horse and get more time on the saddle but for now, it's kinda be quiet, listen, learn and absorb what you can. And one day, you may be the one talking it up and the newer rider may be listening to you!


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## CityslickerfrFla (Jan 11, 2016)

And I am Filipino - horse riding in Filipino culture is as natural as a fish riding a bicycle. So don't let your African American heritage/culture/background discourage you from doing hat you love! My DH thinks I'm nuts but when I explained how much I love it, he's a big supporter. It helps my daughter Lila loves horses like I do. Your family and friends will understand in time it's part of your new life now


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## gingerscout (Jan 18, 2012)

I feel left out in another way, I have a horse, but I spend 98% of my time alone, I have no one to talk to if I have questions, or need help, I got a horse of my own to make friends and find people to ride with and get into trail riding, and I am doing none of it. I see/ hear of all these people with awesome barns, and all the fun stuff people do, and some of the rides people go on, and here I am in a field by myself. I get a lot of help from Youtube, and here, and videos from trainers/ etc. Maybe someday I will get a truck/ trailer and move out of this area to a place where I feel like I can belong, and be part of a group


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## Cordillera Cowboy (Jun 6, 2014)

*Vintage Steel*, You're in good company here. You never need to fear asking a question of the folks in Horse Forum. 

At this stage of your journey, you can listen in and absorb information. Do remember that often the loudest talkers have the least knowledge. If you're worried that a question might embarrass you in front of your riding companions, you should be able to ask your instructor. 

I've been in the saddle over 50 years, and I've often resorted to *Cityslicker'*s secret google fu technique. None of us knows it all.


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## wontquitmydaydream (Jul 18, 2015)

I totally sympathize. Right now my only connection with the horse world at all is the internet. I don't own or lease a horse, and I'm not even taking lessons yet - mostly because it's going to be a bit of a stretch, financially. I can't help but feel a little jealous of the folks who have the spare cash to own their own horse and take all the lessons they want. It's hard not to get discouraged sometimes. But I just try to keep my chin up and remember that you never know what the future holds. I may not be where I want to be right now, but someday soon I could be living my dreams.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

We don't really have horse friends, either. Our lesson barn is the full of the type of people you are talking about--really nice show horses, all of the clients are friends and hang out at shows, together, etc. They are nice to us, always, but we aren't "in" because we don't have a horse at that barn and we don't go to shows. 

Where we board, it's now just us. There are around 30 horses there, but they're all owned by the B.O. She does have 2 trainers and 2 grooms, so we chat w/ them sometimes, but not often. 

I guess at this point in my life I don't mind so much being left out, as horses aren't my social life (running is). However, I think my son would love to have a group of horse friends.


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## MKBABB (Jan 7, 2016)

I totally hate that ya'll feel that way. I have been around horses since I was 8 (taking lessons and such) I now own two horses on my own dime at age 25, one of which I got when I was about 12 or 13. I know as an adult when I moved to a totally new city without my horse that I was desperate for the horse world again. I lived somewhere where I knew no horse people or anything about the horse world in that area for 3 years. I ended up contacting local rescues and in exchange for mucking and cleaning I was able to ride and get my interaction with horses and horse people who were more than willing to take me under their wing.
Maybe a local rescue would be a place to start to get a foot in the door without putting yourself in a financial pickle. Feed stores are a good place if you cant find any information on line. 
Hope this helps in some way.


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## Reiningcatsanddogs (Oct 9, 2014)

The good news is that there are a lot of different barns out there with different people and different "atmospheres". It took me a while to find one where I liked the feel, where most of the riders were older, many new to or just coming back into horses after a long break to live life and had a really relaxed attitude. 

It helps that my trainer/the barn owner does not do things on a large scale and occasionally has little get together's at his place for all of his clients. It gives us all time to get to know one another away from the barn; the other part of our lives. 

He also puts together Sunday extra rides at no charge where we all just go hack out together on a nice trail. Some of us BYO Horse, some just use one of his; all different ages, abilities, goals...about the only thing we have in common is liking to ride. Since he is retired, he likes having us around as much as we appreciate all of the little extras he does.

I guess my advice to you is to shop around and I bet you eventually find some place you look forward to visiting.


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## ShirtHotTeez (Sep 23, 2014)

wontquitmydaydream said:


> I totally sympathize. Right now my only connection with the horse world at all is the internet. I don't own or lease a horse, and I'm not even taking lessons yet - mostly because it's going to be a bit of a stretch, financially. I can't help but feel a little jealous of the folks who have the spare cash to own their own horse and take all the lessons they want. It's hard not to get discouraged sometimes. But I just try to keep my chin up and remember that you never know what the future holds. I may not be where I want to be right now, but someday soon I could be living my dreams.


Aim for the lessons first. Try find a place where its ok to hang around and help out so you learn the basic care stuff. Don't get precious when that means you start off shoveling manure, we all pretty much started there - and a friendly, interested attitude will earn you respect. My sister and I started out like that, then when we were reasonably competent we hired the ponies to go to shows, showjumping to start with. By helping round the place and with the horses we would get a free ride sometimes. Halcyon days  - Dad paid!! lol. 

The dream is do-able. Not everyone that has a horse is rich, there are sacrifices.

:gallop:


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

I felt like that through all my teen and young adult riding experiences. I was an on again-off again lesson student, never particularly talented, and was horseless until my early 30s. 

I've said it on here before, but I think one of the most wonderful things about the horse world is that there is plenty of room for the horseless kids and teens who had to give up riding for years to become adult "re-riders," finding a way to plug back in when they have the time and/or disposable income to do so on their own terms.

I'm not sure how old you are now, but I think it's totally understandable that you feel the way you do. Maybe you could occasionally take a private lesson to get some one-on-one attention. Or volunteer at a therapeutic riding program to get some extra "horse time." But just know that even if you find yourself wanting more now, in the future, you can shape your adult life to make that happen if it remains a passion. There's plenty of room for all types of riders and owners!


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## secuono (Jul 6, 2011)

When my boy wasn't ride-able, I felt left out. 
Then I could ride, bareback, at a walk, only at home. I felt left out from all the people trail riding and trotting. 
Now that he's gone to training and we can trot, I feel left out from the people who can easily handle their horses, they go where the rider wants, they have horse friends they can go out with.
Haven't made any horse friends to trail ride with, so I still feel left out. And my boy has gotten to the stage where he is now testing me about where I want him to go and whether or not to trot or walk. =/

Always something to feel left out about...

I have no interest in showing, not like I could ever remember what to do, when to do it, what other obstacle to go to next, etc. I just want to trail ride. 

If you don't have a horse for show or can't pay/trailer to there, you can still go and watch or help out a buddy and get experience. 

Can't own a horse, you can help out at a barn in exchange for lessons. 

Unless you are on your deathbed, there is always time to get to your goals.


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## cbar (Nov 27, 2015)

Yep, I hear ya. I have owned my own horse(s) for a number of years. However, I am not rich and do not have the money to show or do half the stuff I'd like to with them. My friends & family aren't in to horses, so most of the time I'm all alone as well. When I do go to barns for whatever reason I find that I can get really intimidated by people....could be my imagination, but the fact that I don't have the nicest tack or most fancy horse...I feel I'm being judged. 

But if you really enjoy being around the horses don't let anyone dissuade you! I'm not sure how old you are, but there is always plenty of time to reach your goals!


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

I've had a horse since I was 10 and I still have this problem. It's not as simple as getting a horse and suddenly you can talk to horse people. Just like in any other hobby people make friends within it. I've never really had ongoing friends with Horses. 

Perhaps it would be easier if you had a horse simply because you would be there more often. 

It's actually a bit of a weird dynamic between lesson people and boarders I think. When I became a boarder it kind of felt like I couldn't talk to the lesson people, like it wasn't done even. I guess it felt like they were paying for their time at a place where I lived. It was kind of intrusive them there but also intrusive to talk to them. But I wasn't doing lessons with them and I wasn't in a team with them so maybe it's different.

But seriously no one looks at you and thinks oh they don't have a horse or they cat afford one, they just give you a glance and say oh I don't know that person, and then they move on.


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## Werecat (Aug 23, 2015)

gingerscout said:


> I feel left out in another way, I have a horse, but I spend 98% of my time alone, I have no one to talk to if I have questions, or need help, I got a horse of my own to make friends and find people to ride with and get into trail riding, and I am doing none of it. I see/ hear of all these people with awesome barns, and all the fun stuff people do, and some of the rides people go on, and here I am in a field by myself. I get a lot of help from Youtube, and here, and videos from trainers/ etc. Maybe someday I will get a truck/ trailer and move out of this area to a place where I feel like I can belong, and be part of a group


This broke my heart! If you lived closer (no idea where you live) I'd go riding with you!

I feel at a loss in my riding without an instructor right now... I've only ever ridden my horse once without her. It's weird, I got a horse so I didn't have to pay someone ever time I wanted to ride (aka a lesson), but I still ended up doing that (well the actual reason I got a horse is because it was my life long dream)



*To the OP, *I totally understand where you're coming from, but you may not feel like it now, but you are very lucky to be in those classes. I had to wait until I established my career as an adult before I could even start taking lessons. Before I turned 28, I could probably count on one hand how many times I went riding.

If the passion runs through your blood, you will one day (may even be sooner than you think) be that girl with a horse. It will be wonderful, because you earned it, it wasn't just put in your lap, you will know how to appreciate what you've striven for and wont take it for granted.

I grew up as a lower middle class girl in NYC who's parents had no interest in horses or giving me lessons. Manhattan is the last place on earth someone without wealth could even dream about owning or even leasing a horse. I took my first two riding lessons in Queens, and one was $75 for a 45 minute lesson (ouch!) on a mediocre horse with a beaten up saddle. I simply couldn't even afford to take lessons. 

My family moved to a place where it'd be more feasible (they didn't do it for me, they just wanted to retire to TN where they used to live), and worked hard on myself first, to put myself in a situation where I could afford to take lessons. I suffer from anxiety that interfered with my schooling (I was/am somewhat of a rebel and wanted to pave my own way), so I had to teach myself my trade. I obviously am not condoning dropping out of High School and taken the off beaten path, but what I am trying to say is, you can make it happen once you gain footing and know where you want to go in life.

Keep working on you, and you will achieve. I know very well the envy that takes over when you hear during free period Monday morning, how your friend placed first in a jumping competition she and her horse were in, and you spent the weekend inside playing a video game.

I had a book that literally fell apart because I looked through it so much (I also learned how to draw horses just by studying the pictures). I may or may not have named each and every horse in the book.

Stay with the classes. As much as it sucks sometimes, you may regret it if you quit, because at the very least you are getting horse and saddle time, and experience is invaluable.


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## ShirtHotTeez (Sep 23, 2014)

cbar said:


> Yep, I hear ya. I have owned my own horse(s) for a number of years. However, I am not rich and do not have the money to show or do half the stuff I'd like to with them. My friends & family aren't in to horses, so most of the time I'm all alone as well. When I do go to barns for whatever reason I find that I can get really intimidated by people....could be my imagination, but the fact that I don't have the nicest tack or most fancy horse...I feel I'm being judged.
> 
> But if you really enjoy being around the horses don't let anyone dissuade you! I'm not sure how old you are, but there is always plenty of time to reach your goals!


At one time here it was not PC to 'judge' people. But to my mind that is just BS. If you don't make judgements you end up with the lowest common denominator. 

Aside from that people probably ARE judging you. But you are probably not coming up as short as you think you are  

Chances are, the ones that are there for the lessons that don't own there own horse just look at you and think how lucky you are, you can ride when and how long you want!! The boarders probably look and think 'Oh yeah, they come here quite often, don't talk much but seem friendly'.

What will stand out is if your horse is in poor condition, horsey people just notice that. If you are worried about not having "nicest tack or most fancy horse", that is really just an inferiority thing that you should practice ignoring!! Truely, you have YOUR OWN HORSE, that YOU ENJOY, and if he isn't the next World Champion - who cares, he's your champion. If it worries you, just spruce him up when you go to the barn - well groomed, clean tack, and you wear something that you feel tidy in - everyone feels at more of an advantage presented well.

If you find it hard talking to people just start off with brief eye contact and a smile and/or "hi". It gets easier, and when people realize you want to be friendly they will probably start off with asking your horses name or breed or where you're from etc. If they perceive you as 'cold' they will stay out of your space so you need to let them in.

When you are at any barn for any reason, you are on equal terms with everyone there. Whenever I feel intimidated I think of that Johnny Cash song "Walk tall, walk straight, and look the world right in the eye" (you know who Johnny Cash is - right?) :cowboy:


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## CityslickerfrFla (Jan 11, 2016)

Reiningcatsanddogs said:


> The good news is that there are a lot of different barns out there with different people and different "atmospheres". It took me a while to find one where I liked the feel, where most of the riders were older, many new to or just coming back into horses after a long break to live life and had a really relaxed attitude.
> 
> It helps that my trainer/the barn owner does not do things on a large scale and occasionally has little get together's at his place for all of his clients. It gives us all time to get to know one another away from the barn; the other part of our lives.
> 
> ...


Well said! And my barn is the same, all types of riders, new to very experienced, BO hosts get togethers, free rides, trails, schooling shows, etc. and it's great to get to know everyone. And I've learned so much just by hanging out with the regular volunteers/riders. The volunteers get to ride the horses for free - but they have had lessons. You can find deals on groupon, living social, etc for package of lessons or ask instructor/school if they'd be willing to give you some lessons in exchange for hours of service. Where there's a will, there's a way! I just declined typical gift for our 15th wedding anniversary in lieu of more lessons, practice rides and a saddle - and I'm so happy I did!


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## anndankev (Aug 9, 2010)

Werecat said:


> ... I may or may not have named each and every horse in the book. ...



This made me smile out loud. 

Having relatives 1 and 2 states away I did did get a small amount of exposure to horses growing up, when visiting them. And also summer camps. Then there were/are the books. Including '_How to Draw Horses_'.

Have never had a horse property, or become personally involved on a regular basis until my daughter became old enough for lessons.

Boarded at a place where a little girl living next door, on the fence line to the back field, had watched the horses so much that she named, and really knew each one.

I talked to her once and she told me that Travis, my Appaloosa gelding, she had named Rusty. And that he was the boss of the group. She was right on about that.
















A year or so later, when she was old enough, she started taking lessons there.

Chin up. The horse world is hard to break into. Seems to 80/20 rule applies very frequently.

The 80/20 rule: 
80% will drop out before 1 year, then of the 20% who remain;
80% will drop out before 2 years, then of the 20% who remain;
80% will drop out before 5 years, then of the 20% who remain...

If you make it one year, you will reach more acceptance. If you make it through a winter, you will reach more acceptance. If you have to do daily care and maintenance through a winter, then you will attain a higher regard. If you hang around for more than 2-3 years you will be seen as someone who might be in it for the long haul. LOL


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## wontquitmydaydream (Jul 18, 2015)

ShirtHotTeez said:


> Aim for the lessons first. Try find a place where its ok to hang around and help out so you learn the basic care stuff. Don't get precious when that means you start off shoveling manure, we all pretty much started there - and a friendly, interested attitude will earn you respect. My sister and I started out like that, then when we were reasonably competent we hired the ponies to go to shows, showjumping to start with. By helping round the place and with the horses we would get a free ride sometimes. Halcyon days  - Dad paid!! lol.
> 
> The dream is do-able. Not everyone that has a horse is rich, there are sacrifices.
> 
> :gallop:


Thanks for the advice! That's the plan. We're hoping to go visit a local barn that's having an open house next week and sort of get a foot in the door. Honestly, I would be _thrilled_ to get to shovel manure if it meant being around horses. So no worries there, lol. 

I imagine most people who have a horse aren't rich. I certainly didn't mean to imply that they are. Just that sometimes it _seems_ like having money would solve everything. Though, I know, deep down, that's not really true either.

Thanks again for the response! I'll take all the advice and encouragement I can get. :smile:


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

wontquitmydaydream said:


> Thanks for the advice! That's the plan. We're hoping to go visit a local barn that's having an open house next week and sort of get a foot in the door. Honestly, I would be _thrilled_ to get to shovel manure if it meant being around horses. So no worries there, lol.
> 
> I imagine most people who have a horse aren't rich. I certainly didn't mean to imply that they are. Just that sometimes it _seems_ like having money would solve everything. Though, I know, deep down, that's not really true either.
> 
> Thanks again for the response! I'll take all the advice and encouragement I can get. :smile:


An open house is great! That means they want to meet new people. You'll have fun.


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## Dustbunny (Oct 22, 2012)

You might be surprised to find that even people who have been in a group may be just as uncertain around strangers as you are about them. They have been there long enough to feel safe in the pack...or herd.
Always be friendly, smile and say Good Morning or Hello. You might ask an owner or rider about their horse...you know, breed, personality, whatever. I have found that most people love to talk about their critter. You then might offer a compliment, say thank you, and move on. It will leave that person with a positive feeling (at least that hopefully would be the result).
Nice to have you here. Keep us posted!


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## Vintagesteel (Sep 22, 2015)

Oh My Goodness!
I wasn't expecting so many replies haha. I'm so busy right now, so replying may be a little 'late', but I'm definitely going to read through these- thank you guys!


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## Vintagesteel (Sep 22, 2015)

I posted this mainly because I felt left out in one of the classes I had, but I realize now, you don't need anything other than yourself to talk to people. The equestrian team, oddly enough, makes me feel at home because the people are nice. I can ask for help tacking up a horse and they'll go through the steps with me (I tacked up a few horses for the first time yesterday- and I was happy that I did!) I really want to improve on my riding and for now I have the means to do so.
I appreciate those that replied so far- you guys are awesome!


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## KLJcowgirl (Oct 13, 2015)

You are certainly not alone, as others have given you their experiences. I feel like you need a hug. :hug:

Maybe I'm not allowed to reply to this thread, but I feel my experience with people is similar, but different at the same time because I was born into the horse world. We can feel left out, even in a world we know.

Here is the "short story", but it probably wasn't as bad as I thougt it was. I hit a rough patch when I was younger where I felt like I didn't fit in with the horse kids I had grown up with. I showed 4-H and a lot of the kids started talking about trainers, and barrel racers, and reiners, and rodeo champs and I couldn't relate at all. I had no idea who these people were and just felt so left out. Some also started getting new horses to show on, and bragged about how much they cost and how great the training was. I felt so worthless when this began because all we had was our home grown horses. I felt like in order to have friends or do well you needed to spend thousands on a horse and ride and train with this person. There were a few times I had to ride away from a group and cry.

Eventually I learned I didn't necessarily have to be friends with these people, or know what they were talking about, but I needed to be involved or I would just continue to feel awful. Don't get me wrong though, I did make some good friends.

I too am really the only person in my family any more that has anything to do with horses. My Grandpa, who taught me everything I know about horses, has passed. My mom and dad don't ride any more, though I think they would still like to, but just don't have the time or energy. My brother after me only showed horses to be social (lots of girls and few boys). And my two youngest siblings could care less. So I can definitely relate there!

Even now, I can talk to and laugh and carry on with people I run into at the arena, but I don't really feel like I have anybody I could call up and say "Hey, let's go for a ride." and the ones I feel like I could, live far enough away that it's not really going to happen. My best friends are NOT horse people. Even my husband isn't (but I'm working on that one :wink. 

I wouldn't worry to much about trying to make friends with these fellow students, but it's always in your best interest to just be friendly. They certainly aren't trying to be mean or leave you out, though I totally get it, sometimes it feels like it. I also feel like you could learn a lot from them by just being sort of a shadow and asking questions. Horse people tend to be more than willing to explain something. :wink: 

I do hope you continue if you really enjoy riding. It's a wonderful hobby to have, keeps you active. There is really no reason to quit anything because of people. It's so worth it when you meet that horse that completes you. That's the friend you should strive to have!!

Edit: I keep posting after the original poster has replied...... But I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better about this! These are the people who are going to help you learn all you can.  Thumbs up!


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## animallover101 (Nov 2, 2015)

I feel you!
It's why I somewhat switch places to see if it would be any different


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## Vintagesteel (Sep 22, 2015)

_"It's a wonderful hobby to have, keeps you active. There is really no reason to quit anything because of people." 
_

I really wish I could keep this to heart. My mother gave me a full out lecture today about how she believes that this 'hobby' is just that. Horses have a way of touching people's lives, and she just doesn't understand that. She told me that she hoped that my life wouldn't revolve around horses (most likely for financial reasons) and then she called me a depressed puppy. That's nice to call your daughter who is taking antidepressants..So right now I'm in a bitter mood; not completely at square one. I was just reading through these comments again and I certainly feel more support here than elsewhere. The argument had me triggered- I just don't like that type of stress, and it affects me terribly.


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## Avna (Jul 11, 2015)

This may not be helpful, but I have learned that my avocations and my social life are best seen as two separate things. The horse thing is something I do because I like riding and being around horses, not because I hope to find a peer group there. My close friends mostly don't know anything about horses, we are friends because we are compatible, not because we share a passion. 

I made a huge mistake -- a mistake that lasted a decade -- in which I tried with all my might to find a group of friends within a (different animal) hobby. It never happened. I made a few widely-separated friends (like four over ten years), and an entire pack of completely unexpected enemies. I wanted something that wasn't there to be had. I didn't fit in.

I have no interest in repeating this scarring experience. I ride, I am cordial, I have acquaintances who ride, I may ultimately have friends who ride, but I belong to no group and do not expect to. This keeps me sane and balanced.


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## Cordillera Cowboy (Jun 6, 2014)

Hang in there. Plenty of folks here with similar experiences. Heading out the door now. I'll write a bit more tonight or tomorrow.


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## Cordillera Cowboy (Jun 6, 2014)

I may be reading this wrong. If so, my apologies. But it seems that you are in the beginning stages of a lifelong arc that many folks in this forum have traveled before you. That is one of a horse loving person from a non-horsey family, getting a small taste of the world of horses in your youth. Then, the prospects of continuing with horses dim with the realities and responsibilities of early adulthood. 

The pattern I've seen recounted many times here is that those financial and familial responsibilities often preclude a heavy involvement with horses while you get established. That doesn't mean you have to withdraw from horses altogether. 

Your mother is right to worry that you could let horses control your life. But it is possible for you to control your life to such an extent that horses can always be even a small part of it until you are financially secure enough to dive in again. 
You are correct in the feeling that it is in your blood, and will probably never go away. 

I grew up a' horseback. But in all my adult life, I have only owned one horse. And that was pretty much by accident. What I did was seek out horse people and activities that I could afford, financially and time wise. I volunteered with a 4-H saddle club. I helped friends who owned horses with barn chores. I rented hack horses at tourist spots. I rented ponies and walked alongside my son for hours at a time. 

I guess what I'm getting at is don't think that finishing school and leaving your equestrian team has to be the end of your involvement with horses. Keep your head up and ride on!


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## ShirtHotTeez (Sep 23, 2014)

To non-horsey people, horse owners are seen as rich, like boat owners. When you have either, a whole lot of money gets poured into them 

Having money might not solve everything, but it will solve most things and make the things it can't solve a whole lot more comfortable!!! Only someone rich will tell you otherwise!!!

All the best, I'm sure you will fit in wherever you go.

:gallop:


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## aclassicalpaint (Feb 11, 2015)

I feel left out too, but in a bit of a different way. I own two horses (a Paint and OTTB) and board the OTTB a mile away from my house while the Paint lives in my backyard. My trainer is like an aunt to me, but her facility is half an hour away and very pricey, so I rarely see her. Anyway, I came to the new barn where the OTTB is and everyone asked who my trainer is. I told them I'm not a part of their team, that I train with _____. My trainer is very well known and you have to "audition" to be on her team. After they heard that, they kind of shunned me. I think they're under the impression that I'm snooty or maybe they're jealous of who my trainer is? I don't know. To be honest, I'm an incredibly nervous rider and even though I have been riding for years, I still have an incredible amount of anxiety cantering. I have Social Anxiety, Panic Disorder, and Depression. I see them riding and wish I had their bravery! One day I was hand walking my OTTB because he had been on stall rest for a couple months. He was super jumpy and every time we walked by a gate he would shoot forward and rear. We went by and this boarder said to me, "Oh..._you're_ the one with the Thoroughbred." That one kind of hurt, because of how she said it. 
I guess you never really know the full story about someone.
But just keep riding  Live your life for you, not for anyone else.


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