# Barn Drama, is it rare or a common occurrence?



## waresbear

I have never boarded at a barn but from reading the various threads on here, there seems to quite a bit of strife between fellow boarders and in some cases, with BO''s. The longest I have had my horses in a showbarn was 5 days for a show, no drama, everyone was busy showing & super helpful and friendly. In fact there was a gal keeping her horse in a stall near mine that offered to share her tackstall with me because she saw me lugging my gear back & forth from my trailer. 
So my question is, boarding at a barn, lots of drama or lots of harmony?
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## DancingArabian

From just my personal experience, the show/lesson/training barns have drama and the more pleasure barns have facepalm moments. The drama tends to affect a wide area, just sucking people in. People were also more likely to offer unsolicited advice and be more vocal about disagreeing with what you do. At the places where everyone is a little more on their own in terms of showing and training, there's a lot of O.O moments but people are more likely to mind their own.

Again, just from my experience.
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## stingerscricket

There's quite a bit of drama at my teenager infested barn, however if you choose to stay out of the drama, things are alot better. Usually the ones who secretly enjoy drama are the ones starting and continuing all of it, so I try to remove myself from any of it and let them have their pitty parties and gossip together while I'm with my drama free horse 
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## DraftyAiresMum

Depends a lot on the BO and the boarders themselves. My old barn had A LOT of drama and the BO was quite the instigator sometimes. At my new barn, the BO doesn't tolerate drama and the boarders are more mature.
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## Wallaby

Every 'barn' I've ever encountered (3) has had drama in one way or another. Of course, I'm pretty oblivious to that sort of thing so there was probably even more under the surface that I wasn't catching.

Each had drama in different ways:
The first (where I took lessons for years, pre-Lacey) seemed to believe in a limited food per horse policy (I had no idea what a horse without ribs showing looked like, even after 7 years of lessons at this place. Up until I was about 16, I just thought that was the way "normal" horses looked!! :shock: ). There was also zero turnout for 30 horses so, as you can imagine, the arena was a crazy place.
I'm sure there was boarder drama - I mean, there were more than a few "oops babies" from a cremello stud that would sometimes "get loose" from his owner, but I wasn't a "real" boarder and I was a kid at the time so no one mentioned things to me.

The next barn, basically pasture-boarding, (with Lacey, this time) was different but not really much better. Similar food policies to the previous barn but the horses were fatter than the first barn - I thought I had found heaven! haha 
Pastures got crazy muddy, the BO did nothing. The BO's old toothless gelding (35 years old, at the time) nearly starved to death one winter because "no one could take the time to soak his food" and then also lied to the BO, who was laid up with a broken back, about soaking his food or not. Farrier visits weren't scheduled during the winter because "horses do better with longer hooves in the mud". 
I 'lost' so many halters/lead ropes/etc at this place... They were really good to me while I was there (in terms of not charging me more than I could afford for board and sharing the little that they had with me) but thank the Lord I am out now!!

Next place, I just went there for a few lessons (as part of a class for school) a few years ago. That place also had zero turnout, lots of stable-vices in the horses, and basically every owner there was some kind of know-it-all. It was ridiculous. I saw more than one petty cat-fight break out because one know-it-all had stepped on the toes of another.
The BO there was also super pervy. He was always telling me that I had legs any equestrian would kill for and that I would make a "good wife" because I could "sweep the barn so well while looking so good." He was probably in his mid-seventies. It was just not ok.

Then there were the training practices at allll these barns. I won't even go there but it was bad all the way around.



I thank my lucky stars on a daily basis that I 'board' alone now, that the only drama I have to deal with is animal-related drama, and that I don't have to see another human during my entire time at "the barn" unless I invite someone to come with me. :lol:


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## ohmyitschelle

I don't board with facilities like barns etc... over here we have "grazing" ... and it can be quite catty and dramatic too. I find horse girls like to talk, and we have a couple who can talk for hours about anything. I try not to get caught regularly talking to them or I get nothing done. Though they're both absolutely lovely. 
We have one drama queen, our facilities is not the most amazing, very DIY, and has been this way for years. You make of it what you put in. This particular person came from wire and rail, outdoor arena, stalls etc. We don't even have internal permanent fencing, just the boundary fence. You fence off what you want, and there hasn't been really any fights over land use yet. But this person will complain about her horse getting injured (he won't stay behind tape fencing, and she's not prepared to spend a money updating her tired fencing to keep him in), she'll complain about another grazer's young mare who escapes her paddock into the larger field and makes her horse more difficult to catch (yet, doesn't mind her horse being out harrassing other grazers when trying to ride out there etc), complains that the water system isn't fast, and is the biggest gossiper around. Her opinions are also paramount, and acts like her giving out advice is a blessing. Most of my dealings with her are limited, and she does frequently make an idiot out of herself demanding things, yet not realising she allows her horse to do whatever he wants and masks his naughty acts as "just playing". Makes for mild entertainment some times I've gotta admit.

However I like to keep to myself and best friend. We go down to do our work, and then pack up and leave after quality time with the horses. In the past because I didn't frequently join in on "group chat gatherings" in the middle of the paddock, I was seen as a bit of a cow, but it's much more relaxed now that some drama makers have left.

I don't think teens are so much of a problem to be honest. I've noticed an increasing large amount of drama being caused by competitive people recently, mainly in their mid twenties - thirties. I'm thankful none of us at the place I'm at are huge on competing... and the one that is, well it makes sense she's the one who complains, right? :wink:


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## SorrelHorse

My barn has very little drama.
My BO is also the trainer and she will NOT put up with it, but she's also very kind and honest with everything she does and honestly wants to help. If you pitch a tempter tantrum or attitude though, you'll probably get booted. That's why there's only a few teenagers here, because she doesn't do the attitude or drama. And also because of that, she keeps very pleasant adult company.

Now on that note I did temporarily move Selena to a closer barn once. Told her not to feed her alfalfa (She's allergic), told them not to turn her out, and I come out one day and there's mud up to her belly. Obviously turned out. BO apologizes and says it's just the barn people messing up.

Come out the next week, she's covered head to toe in hives. I find alfalfa in her stall. NOT cool. I tell the BO who again blames it on her feeding crew and barn staff. I can't help but wonder why she doesn't fire her barn staff. I go home after treating Selena and call the BO, deciding I will be moving her out of that barn and back to my usual barn. 

I come out the next day and she's in a muddy outside pen instead of her stall, with moldy hay. 

This is in a course of two weeks, alright? We paid in advance of a month. She still owes me $200 for that, and I guarantee I won't get it.

Never switching barns again...


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## Tessa7707

It so depends on the barn, chiefly on the BO and how selective he is with boarders. My current barn is absolutely wonderful, partly due to the owner being selective about who boards there. He's a retired man who keeps busy in his solitude: the boarding facility. His first rule is 'no drama'. I helped a fellow boarder today by trailering her new horse back to the facility, and everyone seems so nice and helpful. Everyone chips in to keep the place looking good, picks up manure in the arena and round pen, etc. it's all self care because the owner wants boarders who are actively involved with their horses, not a place to park your horse. I love it, so I think it just depends on where you're at and who's managing it


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## wild_spot

Depends on the place I think! I had to have my gelding boarded for the first time when I was away and he did his suspensory. 

They looked after him on full board for two months while I was away. I got back to a happy, healthy horse. I rode there for another two months until I brought him home. The owner was always lovely. I went there to ride my horse so didn't really have anything to do with the other boarders. Had no issues with his care. 

So my experience was good! But I know it can be bad.


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## MHFoundation Quarters

I've got all the amenities but never want to be a boarding facility because of the horror stories & drama I hear about. I do technically have one boarder and she will continue to be my only boarder. She is a long time family friend and is my doctor, my barn is her place to relax and we have zero drama. I like it that way 
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## FaceTheMusic

Boarding can be tricky. I've boarded at 3 barns, one of them twice. All of them have had their fair share of drama. Sometimes it's the boarders, sometimes it's BOs. Some people just need drama. I'm not one of them, that is what t.v. is for! 

I was at one barn for 8 years and it was fairly low drama. But when there was drama, it blew up the whole place. That made it difficult. Both times I left there it was because of petty, childish drama caused by adults. 

I was at another barn for 11 months. The only source of drama there was the BO and her daughter, but then again, I was her only boarder at the time...

I have been at my new barn for all of 10 months. The care is 10X better here than it was at either of the other barns. That alone makes the drama here tolerable. It is a show barn and the Trainer is the only one causing drama. I can deal with it because I don't lease from her. I show my own horses and only ride hers if she asks me to. In other words, I keep to myself and no one gets hurt. lol


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## Muppetgirl

I have just left my barn for another that is closer to my home. More for personal reasons such as time/travel. However, after many years working in barns, I can recommend a few things to you:

1. If they are doing something g one way now, don't expect them to change it for you later. So essentially, what you see is what you get.
2. Lay low and fly under the radar. If anyone starts gossiping to you just stare at them like a deer in the head lights.
3. Leave the barn each day like you'd never even been there. Stelf tactics.

The barn I just left, now this is a different scenario, as I was good friends with the BO, so if I wanted my horse to have another flake of hay I could just give him one (in stelf mode though, so other boarders didn't just start helping themselves ie. two year old receiving a bale a day!!). So I wasn't really at a disadvantage at this barn, and I was apt to speak up to the gossipers and troublemakers......so I was left alone and have many friends there also.

There is drama at barns, from gossips, to stealing, misunderstandings, naughty horses......follow my three rules and you can live drama free while at the barn


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## Joe4d

i wouldt take posts on this forum as an average. I assume people with drama or BO issues are far more likely to make a post here. 
Think about it, how many people gonna make a post. All is well at my barn nothing to report". Even though Id bet that is by far the majority.


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## equiniphile

I guess it totally depends on the barn. I have friends at show barns in my area that all complain about the drama, but I've yet to experience any drama where I board my two Arabs (other 5 are at home). It's a really laid-back barn; some of us show, but the majority are just pleasure riders/owners that want their horses out on grass as much as possible. I exercise a few of the horses for their owners when I can and they appreciate it and let me use their tack so I know if fits the horse. No one worries about stolen tack or people messing with horses without permission.


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## FGRanch

You know I think anywhere that girls are involved their is bound to be drama...


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## Brighteyes

No drama at my barn! There are only three boarders and all the BO's horses. My horse is a little special needs, and the BO and the staff take great care to follow my instructions. Everything is kept in great shape. I'm going to college next year, and I'm scared to move my horse to a new barn. :lol:


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## Tazzie

The barn I worked/rode at in Michigan had zero drama. Granted I wasn't a boarder, but I knew/was good friends with all the boarders. All of them were wonderful people. There was an older couple in their 70's that I'd bring in their horse for them so they could enjoy time with him rather than taking the hike out to go get him. I warmed up some of the horses for people who were a bit nervous to get on their horse since their horse had been tearing around the field just prior to coming in. It was just generally a well run, drama free barn. Most of them were older. I was by far the youngest at 14, but I stayed working there till I left for college.

The "barn" I'm at now is really just pasture board with a run in area in the barn with my husband's good friend. We are pretty much the only boarders there since the other horses are owned by him, his brother and his brother's wife. There is zero drama out there since their horses are basically retired, and the wife is scared to ride her horse (no real reason, just is timid of horses; I'm hoping to convince her the horse is a good horse and to have her join me on the trails after my horse gets going under saddle this year)


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## Poneigh

amount of drama seems to depend on the barn IMHO, the most drama filled barn I was at was boarding only (not resident trainer, etc) and many disciplines and like 75+ horses...so much tension! Some people you definitely didnt miss when they gave their 30days...
Im at a fairly small barn now and its not too bad drama wise.


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## Palomine

Depends a great deal on what type of people you are dealing with, but I would say there is always going to be some sort of drama/troubles at barn.

Best thing to do is to smile, nod and do not repeat anything you are told, and make no comment about what you are told to the person telling you.

A wise saying is "The dog that will tote you a bone will tote one away."

If you get reputation of never listening to gossip and don't? You will be better off by far.


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## Skyseternalangel

My old barn had minimal drama, and the new one Sky is at has no drama  But I have felt more drama between horse owners at DIFFERENT barns... I got into it with a good friend about seriously nothing. But now we aren't on talking terms anymore.

:/


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## waresbear

Joe4d said:


> i wouldt take posts on this forum as an average. I assume people with drama or BO issues are far more likely to make a post here.
> Think about it, how many people gonna make a post. All is well at my barn nothing to report". Even though Id bet that is by far the majority.


 
I am hoping you are correct Joe. When I am retired and living in a warmer climate, I would like to board my horses instead of purchasing land so I can enjoy my golden years not working like a dog.


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## BlooBabe

I work at 3 different barns as a trainer, have been a boarder at 4 (sadly I don't have the means to accommodate a horse in my back yard), and have only had drama at one. The barn I board at now I also co-manage and everyone knows I have a zero tolerance to drama.


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## gypsygirl

my barn is not a show barn but we have tons of drama. there are over 100 horses so lots of people and the winter is long and hard when you have to share the indoor. there are a few people who cause all of the problems. especially those who think people who keep their horse in the barn [vs pasture board] have more rights to the arena, which is so not true.


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## Sunny

I board and also work at the barn.

A LOT of drama. The BO went through a yucky divorce last year and after that everything spiraled downward. There is absolutely NO client relationship. It's way too personal. I'm at the barn to either work or see my horse, not hear about how much of a **** your ex-husband is. Some disagree, but I DON'T want a "friend" relationship with the BO. Especially when all it entails is drama. I do my very best to keep my nose out of it.

I'd quit if I didn't need the money.


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## wetrain17

To me, its just a number game. The more people you have at one place, the more opinions/personalities you have. Perfect recipe for drama. Smaller barns (in general, there are ALWAYS exceptions) seem to be closer on a relationship level. People respect and get to know one another more then in larger facilities.


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## Mochachino

In my personal experience it all comes down to the BO and if they will deal with situations and resolve problems. The more they turn a blind eye and do not solve problems the worse it is. A good BO will deal with things when they come up. I am now at a private barn all by myself and I love it that way. I don't have to see things that go against my morals and ethics and ideas of safety, which I have a hard time keeping my mouth closed when I do. I also don't have to worry about my tack disappearing, getting used, not put back or better yet my saddle being damaged by some inconsiderate people. Anyhow I'm sure there are great barns, but they need to be run properly so everyone can be happy and have a good boarding experience.


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## Poseidon

In all honesty, being an employee and a boarder of a pretty mild barn, I am pretty sure most of the drama I deal with is more between staff than actual boarders. I'm ridiculously anal about feed and the feed room. My coworkers don't sweep it nearly as much as I do, which leads to mice coming out more. And once in a while, someone will half-*** making up feed. I do it often enough to have the diets of 30 horses memorized and can look at a bucket and know its wrong. I leave passive aggressive notes about it. We just get annoyed with each other and they way we each do things.

Otherwise, we deal more with "suggestions" of the boarders that make our lives more difficult. One lady that has since left used to complain that we didn't give her horses enough bedding and they were having hock issues. This was for anything less than bedding up to their knees. 

Or another lady, who is very nice most of the time, has little suggestions of how we could improve things. She has a lot of money...our BO does not have that because barns really don't make money. For example: New arena footing that's less dusty or a new watering system that attaches to an ATV..except we don't have an ATV, etc. She also asks that the arena is watered all the time because of the dust. It's winter, so the air is dry and her gelding drags his feet. ..then she gets annoyed that the footing is frozen..

Nothing really "dramatic," just things we sigh at.


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## egrogan

Joe4d said:


> i wouldt take posts on this forum as an average. I assume people with drama or BO issues are far more likely to make a post here.
> Think about it, how many people gonna make a post. All is well at my barn nothing to report". Even though Id bet that is by far the majority.


I totally agree with this. I have been boarding for about a year, though leased my mare for two years prior and she was at the same barn. In that time, there has been some turnover of all staff (BM, instructors, and barn assistants), but the barn always manages to attract nice, caring people with good horse sense. There are people I've liked more or less than others, but ALL have treated my horse as if she was their own and provided impeccable care.

There are a couple of barn assistants and other boarders who can be a little chatty for my liking at times- after being in meetings at work all day long, I just want to go to the barn and _NOT _have to talk to anyone- but they all mean well, love horses, and are not gossipy.

The barn has 12 horses- 9 are owned by the therapy program and used for lessons, 3 are boarders. One boarder is a very nice middle aged woman, the other boarder is the sweetest, most responsible teenage girl you've ever met (and her nice family that usually tags along). There are also a couple of leasors around, families with kids and single women. 

I always feel so bad for people when I hear about boarding drama, because I truly feel like I've had a great experience and have the utmost faith my horse is being taken care of well- couldn't ask for much more!


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## Fulford15

From my personal experience, my BO now doesn't put up with sh*t from anyone... of course, people will "gossip" is the horse world, everyone has something to say about something.... but all the boarders at our barn get along, if there is a problem, you confront eachother and resolve it. Done! 

But.... that is a BIG change from previous show barns I have boarded at, seems like you get a lot of wealth involved, politics, and things blown out of porportion... I have had tack stolen, my horse being used to ride when I am not informed.... I don't think I will ever board at a big barn again, where my horse is now there are 4 boarders (including us) and thats vs. 24 + boarders... Now, I am not saying ALL barns are like this but just a few I have witnessed/boarded at! JMO!


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## Cweaver

Very little drama at my barn BO is wonderful and does everything in her power to honor the wishes of us boarders, in reason. No complaint!


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## WSArabians

Probably just as much drama as HorseForum. :lol:


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## waresbear

:-( I was hoping for less.


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## WSArabians

waresbear said:


> :-( I was hoping for less.


Nah, it's human nature. Some just like it more then others. LOL
I actually don't think I'd have horses if I had to board, because I'm neither patient nor very PC when it comes to annoying people. I don't think I could handle it.


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## waresbear

You sound like my husband, he says he doesn't not want to board his horse, he doesn't want to be around people or socialize when he rides his horse. Looks like I will be working on the farm til the day I die.....


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## Muppetgirl

I must say though, I just moved to a smaller much nicer barn, and guess what? My horse is stalled at night with ONLY three other horses and is well cared for while I'm not there. And guess what else? Nearly everyday I have the arena all to myself......so the only drama that's happening around there is the barn cats fighting!!! Love it!


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## WSArabians

waresbear said:


> You sound like my husband, he says he doesn't not want to board his horse, he doesn't want to be around people or socialize when he rides his horse. Looks like I will be working on the farm til the day I die.....


No, no... That just means he needs to buy you your own big private ranch. :lol:
So tell him he better get his butt crackin'!


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## waresbear

I don't want a big private ranch!!!!!!! I want a condo and board the horses out!


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## WSArabians

waresbear said:


> I don't want a big private ranch!!!!!!! I want a condo and board the horses out!


:shock:
Weirdness.... 

I would die if I had to live in the city. LOL


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## waresbear

Hmmmm, well when you put that way, I guess you & the old man are right. Phooey, always outnumbered.


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## Muppetgirl

waresbear said:


> I don't want a big private ranch!!!!!!! I want a condo and board the horses out!


Have you lost your marbles??? :lol:


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## waresbear

No, I live on acreage and just sick of all the work. I was thinking how nice it would be to not have any chores for a change, but then again, we do like our privacy. I was also thinking how nice it would be to have the horses at a barn where your trainer is and not have to haul in all the time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Skyseternalangel

Hire help?


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## waresbear

Lol, exactly!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tessa7707

waresbear said:


> No, I live on acreage and just sick of all the work. I was thinking how nice it would be to not have any chores for a change, but then again, we do like our privacy. I was also thinking how nice it would be to have the horses at a barn where your trainer is and not have to haul in all the time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Yep, I'm at a self care facility now, but I have boarded at full care places and it was very nice not to have to wake up at 5:30 _Every. single. morning_. On the flip side, if you're anything like me and want things done a certain way, it can be difficult to find a place that does it well. The drama, IMO, is easy to avoid if you just keep under the radar.


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## Annanoel

Okay, barn drama. Rare at our barn unless you have the typical drama queen. The care at my barn is GREAT. I have a reasonable rate $150, with me working on the side as well. We have stalls for feedings, indoor, outdoor, access to trails, round pen, pond. Probably more I'm forgetting. For the drama I put up with it's so worth it! It all depends on the staff and BO, plus horses. I love my BO she's so helpful with advice and cares for the horses as their her own.

Now, onto the drama queen, may be a rant-ish. Well, she bought a show-horse (she doesn't show), push button, no personality, showing was all she did. It was drilled into her since she was 1 1/2. Most show horses have specific cues, she was trained for WP. DQ didn't realize this and ended up confusing her, she bucked her at a canter after she nailed her with a crop to her head? Not an excuse for said horse to buck but all she needed was that right heel a little behind the girth.

DQ also got mad when she was giving glucosamine (sp?) injections, we let her know she needed to draw back to insure she was in muscle. She went into a fit (literally) kicking and screaming. Saying how wrong the VET was and everyone else.

The newest, I sold her a Diamond Wool saddle pad, paid more $125 gave it to her for $50, she paid $45. Told her I needed the $5 or I was going to sell the pad. Never got $, so I sold it for more and gave her back $45. She's now leaving because of the drama and moving to a horrible barn. I do feel bad, sort of wish she would stay...but eh. We're still friends, but good riddance. 

I think EVERY barn has their share of drama queens or kings in some places. I choose to stay away from drama, and prefer not to deal with it at all. It was to the point I was going to leave if she didn't. I am a very mature person as are all others at my barn, and chose to seldom deal with those who are not. I do get up early, and stay up later to feed and do chores, but that's my choice. I love being around the horses plus getting reduced board isn't bad either.


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## BigGirlsRideWarmbloods

I boarded at a big time show barn where you or your horse had to be in part time training and the barn and the trainers both have huge reputations for being the best in their discipline. I boarded my mare there for some tuneup and refresher trainer and it struck me how the trainer kept such a kabosh on any drama. He had this theory that pettiness did not translate in to excellence. If he even heard a whisper of drama you would be picking rocks out of the pasture or hand walking horses (not your own), B/c you clearly didnt understand how to pay attention only to yourself and work as a team. Two incidents too close together and you were out of the barn and you must remove your horse by the following weekend.

He always had such a waiting list that he could afford such policy's, but he did tell me once that he would rather have a functioning well run barn then have a full barn. That he would rather have a grateful working student not paying board than a spoiled brat who was. That barn was awesome. It ran so smooth and there was NEVER any drama.

Conversely the last barn I boarded at was a smaller boarding barn of casual recreational older women and **** they were all catty. The barn owner was fantastic and sweet and b/c she avoided confrontation there was a very passive aggressive energy everyone carried. I had to leave b/c it was so horrible. That environment was what made me give up boarding and find my own farm.

Show barns don't necessarily mean drama and smaller doesn't mean drama-free. It comes down to the people and the expectation of attitudes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## horsietori

I think it would be rare if there WAS NOT drama of some kind at a boarding place!


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## EliRose

Thank goodness my barn is tiny, with only one other "real" boarder, who is in her forties and owns four horses. The other owners are Tyler's estranged one and an elderly couple with a 46 year old appy, who don't actually pay board because they are close family friends of the BOs.

But we HAD two girls for a few months last year, and they were awful. One had recently bought a freshly off-the-track TB as her first horse, and the other had two of her six horses there. Both girls were very privileged, and the girl with six horses is uber wealthy and basically was the bane of my existence for months. Neither could control their horses AT ALL, which was why they were at the barn, and they almost got themselves and their horses killed multiple time. They also loooooved to gossip, and the richy-rich one specifically liked to bully me.They were eventually told to leave, which was wonderful. We had a little bit of a party the day after they left 

Yeah . . . I'd rather not interact with my "peers", thank you very much. I can't really stand them.


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## AllegroAdante

I boarded at a fairly large military stable for about 20 years (about 60-75 horses) . I practically grew up there. 

I know there was drama, but I stayed away from it all. My horses had the first 2 stalls closest to the back door of the south barn and I had my own private tack room. I didn't really socialize much with people, I was there to spend time with my horses, so I avoided much of the drama. 

I had a few close friends that I chose to spend time with, but other than that I did my own thing. 

I think any time there is a large group of people, especially women, there is going to be some drama. How you choose to react to it will make the difference in your boarding experience.


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## waleybean

Drama happens at pretty much all barns. Wherever there is a large group of people (predominately women) you get it. I can liken the politics of the yard to that of a mostly female occupied office I once worked in.


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## TheAQHAGirl

The only drama at my barn is, "Were the horses let out today? Yes? Okay." :lol:


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## Copperhead

No drama at my barn 

I'm sure there is some type of drama there. My BO has a ton of boarders. But I don't associate myself with the other boarders. I greet them, ask how they're doing, and then go about my work. The only thing stored at the barn is my horse, and she's way out in the field where no other boarder really goes. My tack is stored in the trunk of my car. The only person I really ever talk to is the BO and thats usually about business. I've went on a couple group trail rides but never stayed connected with the other boarders afterwords.

So, drama free riding for me. The more people you let into your personal life, the more drama there will be.


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## TurkishVan

I used to board at my university. I got the last stall with a run (they were not desirable by anyone else, really). Unfortunately it was on the end, and they hadn't fixed the gutter system, so every time it rained, it flooded my horse's run. He had this tiny little corner in his (dirt floor) stall to stand in. I did a lot of fixing up, but since I was afraid of him getting hoof rot, I asked if I could let him have access to the small turnout area next to his stall. There was a grandstand in there. It wasn't very big, but it would help keep his feet dry. This was actually a stipulation of being able to board there, and part of our verbal contract.

Boy oh boy did the other girls have a hay day with that one! I was, and still am, quite shy, don't voice my opinions very often, and have never, ever been in the middle of any drama whatsoever, even in high school! I always try to be polite and nice to everyone, even if I cannot stand them. So when they brought up the "unfairness" of it all at a barn meeting, I set them straight. A week later, I found that the gate between his stall and the turnout had been closed, and padlocked. I called the guy in charge of the stables, and he acted indignant that I even asked. He said that "some of the other girls had seen my horse cribbing on the grandstand." Believe me, I looked high and low for any crib marks (a habit that my horse had never, ever indulged in), but couldn't find any. I decided that I couldn't do much about it, and let it go. 
Then I came out there a day or two later, and they had tied my horse up (with a slip-knot) in his stall, and chatted the stall, but left the gate wide open. He was standing there, almost asleep, so I knew he'd been there for a while. Since he can untie a slip-knot in -0.3 seconds flat, and since the property wasn't fenced in, and by a major road, I was ppppp-ooooo'ed!!
I was so p-o'ed that we left that week, with enough credit for another month. Thankfully we were only paying $40 a month for the stupid stall!

The best advice I can give anyone who is looking at places to board is to:

1.) Look at the age and experience of the barn owner and manager.
I boarded at a place where the barn manager (they were leasing the property) was a year older than me (I was 21 at the time). She caused every bit of drama in that barn, and was as dumb as a box of rocks! My horse had been colicking horribly all day- which they noticed numerous times!- and she just thought that "she had an attitude." She was one of those "cowgirl wannabe" types, and manhandle everyone's horse, including her own.

2.) See what condition the horses are in. Ignore the fancy schmancy "human amenities" like a heated indoor observation deck, or automatic waterers. Look at the horses. Are their stalls messy? Do they look depressed or wound up, like they haven't been out in a while? Do they have enough water? Do they get enough food? 

3.) Watch how the boarders there interact with their horses. That will tell you a lot about them as a person. As they say, "Horses are the windows to our soul."

Thankfully the barn that I board at now is run by a little old woman, and she is as picky as all get out! She will call you at 2 a.m. if you left something unlatched, or didn't close something, or etc. She's OCD to the MAX, but she only has room for 8 boarders, and all of our horses are well taken care of. She was also the only one in this area with any pasture left after last summer's drought. She achieved this by regulating the hours that pairs of horses went out. When she took a tumble off of a horse a while back, we were all afraid that she'd close the barn. We begged her not to, and picked up the slack with chores. Thankfully she's recovered, and we're still boarding there.


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## xlionesss

I'm at a drama free barn, and I'll *never* move due to lack of "beautiful facilities" and no indoor. I mean, we've got a port-a-pottee! It's such a sweet and welcoming place, all boarders get a key to the locked tack room, boarders are just pleasant to be around, and BO goes above and beyond to make people happy.I've left my grooming box around to come back to everything in place. It may not be the most aesthetically pleasing, but it sure beats the A-rated facilities with people bickering, snooty BO's and theft! 
My horse gets the exact care he would get if I were there 24/7.


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## faiza425

None at mine, but luckily mine is super small - the BO is also the instructor and doesn't board. The only place problems could crop up are group lessons and the show team.
That's not to say I didn't have to search for a drama-free area. Originally I was going to ride at a barn two streets over, but the place is a hellhole. BO is a total perv. He lures a bunch of teenagers in with the promise of free board and discounted horses for sale, then will kick you off or sell them right out from under your nose. He also claims to 'rescue' PMUs, but really transfers them from one crappy place to the next. They were so overrun at one point that the horses weren't getting even basic care. The whole place is falling apart, he rarely actually pays for hay shipment, and vets and farriers refuse to set foot on the place. None of these are eSo I didn't end up going there...
I volunteer at another barn and help with therapeutic riding, and there is a bit of drama there that I try hard to stay out of. But beggars can't be choosers as far as volunteers, and unless they do something really awful then you can't really do anything.
So it depends on the barn. The drama is often caused by the BOs more than anything.


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## Eclipse93

Lol I'm the only teen at my barn... I hate drama... At the old barn I was at people decided to take my horse and use her for lessons without my permission...one girl stole my horse and I saw her riding her down the street using my tack on my way to the stables... I ripped her off my saddle and beat the snot out of her... And we'll that was the end of the drama at that barn.... I decided that was the last straw.


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## Copperhead

Eclipse93 said:


> Lol I'm the only teen at my barn... I hate drama... At the old barn I was at people decided to take my horse and use her for lessons without my permission...one girl stole my horse and I saw her riding her down the street using my tack on my way to the stables... I ripped her off my saddle and beat the snot out of her... And we'll that was the end of the drama at that barn.... I decided that was the last straw.


For someone who hates drama, you sure went about that situation pretty dramatically, immaturely and rather inappropriately.


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## sillyhorses

The only "drama" I've ever really experienced is simply from BO perspective, in situations where boarders demand more than what they're contracted for and don't understand why they'd have to pay more for "extra", or when for whatever reason boarders think it is ok to leave horses without paying... 

My spouse has told me that he had a lot of Boarder drama when he used to have a group of teenage girls boarding... they'd steal each other's things, and mock each other or just do nasty bully-girl things :/ Thankfully, I've only ever heard stories. One of those girls ended up coming back as an adult, and she ended up being one of the boarders that was demanding extra (hay, in her instance), and became irate when we said "Ok... hold on a sec... [doing calculations] - okay, that will be $42.50 extra/month - you can pay us tomorrow if you'd like..." 

I think if you have a barn full of respectful adults or parents who are VERY INVOLVED (i.e. KNOW something about horse ownership/horses), there won't be much drama. I think, like HS, teenage girls tend to get catty in groups :/ Not saying that applies to all teenage girls, especially if it is just one or two in a given location...


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## HorseMom1025

I despise drama. While I love the barn we're at (been there over two years), I work hard to stay out of drama. Unfortunately, recently there has been a LOT of drama between our trainer, another trainer, the BO, and a border. Everyone wants to drag me in (because I'm friendly with all of them), but I refuse to get involved. I will listen, but I don't repeat and I usually recommend they talk to each other.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## oliveoats

I feel like my barn would have drama if we had more riders in the same age. We have three 12-16 year olds, three 16-20 year olds (including myself), a handful of younger adults, and a lot of 30+. The younger girls have always stuck together, finding my 18 year old self too old to hang out with. The adults still treat me like a child, and don't hang out with me much. I'm just stuck in the middle and talk most with the older adults. Even with the older adults, there is a few who like the drama. Since most of the older adults could care less about the drama, and the ones who care are all involved in it with each other, they end up talking to me about each other. 

If you don't want to deal with barn drama, just tell whoever is talking to you about other boarders that you personally don't have the same experience with the person and don't want to talk about them behind their back. 

I'm sure there is a lot more barn drama than I know of, but I don't go to the barn to do much socializing, just to spend time with my horse.


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