# Starting Over....



## luvmyperch (Oct 5, 2009)

Big congrats! I am in a very similar situation to yours. I stopped riding about 10 years ago, and returned last fall. By December, I was a horse owner yet again and am now completely and totally back into it full swing. My poor fiance had no idea what he was getting into. Good luck and I can't wait to hear how the show goes!


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

I had another great lesson today. My confidence is improving, as Romeo always spooks at one section of the arena at the trot, and today I was able to push him through it without losing my focus. Did some balance exercises at the trot and more two-point work, I'm going to be really sore tomorrow!

I've purchased all my show clothes except for tall boots, which I can't afford at the moment. As its a schooling show, the barn owner said leather chaps will be fine, and has offered to let me borrow hers 

I can't believe the show is only 10 days away, I'm so excited, but getting more and more nervous. We've decided I'll only do walk/trot, as I'm most comfortable and look my best at those gaits for now.


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## MissH (Apr 10, 2010)

I think this is all awesome! I am also in a very similar situation, and am thinking about starting a journal - just to keep myself faithful and be accountable (and perhaps vent once in a while). Keep us posted on how it goes - I couldn't be more excited for you to do your first English show!


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

Thanks! That really means a lot to me  I'm really glad I started a journal, mostly because it forces me to reflect on each lesson / ride.


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

I had another lesson tonight, only one more lesson until show day  My trainer switched my horse tonight, most likely only for the show, but who knows, lol. I was riding Romeo, but when my trainer showed him this weekend, she said he was pretty spooky and excitable in the ring, and he spooks fairly often in lessons as well. She thought for my first show that I should be on someone a little more dependable, aka, Fritz.

I tried him out tonight, he's recovering from a suspensory injury, and he's completely sound, but they're waiting longer to canter him, which is fine for me because I'm just trotting right now anyway. We had some fairly large downpours this afternoon before my lesson, so the arena was muddy and the footing was pretty bad.

He's a little pokey, lol, but he's very sweet, and does everything I ask for. It took some time to get him into a nice trot, and his trot is much slower than Romeo's is, but I partially blame the footing. There were a lot of puddles and half the arena was unusable.

I'm going to ride him again on Saturday, hopefully in dry conditions, to see what he can really do. I was somewhat hesitant to push him too hard because of his injury.

He's a beautiful bay gelding, about 15.3 hands or so, and a complete goofball. Nickered at me everytime I walked by him after we were done, and stood completely quietly while I hosed him off. I think we'll be good friends.

All in all, a good lesson. Finally trotted in 2-point without feeling like I was falling over, which was so nice. Also, as he doesn't rein western, I really have to focus on steering him properly, which is much better for me in the long run.

It's almost time, I'm so excited for show day!!!!


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## MissH (Apr 10, 2010)

Can't wait to hear how it goes!! And btw, with your "encouragement", I actually posted my story in the journals section. Go easy on me...but I think we'll be good for each other... LOL!


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

My show is in 3 days, and I am getting really excited (and nervous, lol), but I'm also kind of stressed.

I STILL don't have tall boots for the show (I know, not good). I haven't had the money for them yet. I'm going to the tack shop today to pick up my monogrammed collar (yay), and hopefully they'll take a check for the boots (I get paid via direct deposit tomorrow morning).

I'm also still unsure about the new horse. My trainer has left it up to me. Romeo has always been great for me, but he does get spooky, even in the ring at the barn. Fritz, who I rode on Monday, was really hard to keep going, but very dependable. I'm not used to needing constant leg contact, and honestly, it hurts! LOL. I'm very out of shape from being sick for a few years, and my muscles are not just out of shape, but atrophied in important areas (like my back). I'm hoping that my nervousness will hype him up on show day.

If I could only get boots today, I would feel so much better. I know they won't be fully broken in, but I'll feel so strange riding in my half-chaps.


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## MissH (Apr 10, 2010)

Do you know what tall boots you are going to buy!? I'm curious!


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

MissH said:


> Do you know what tall boots you are going to buy!? I'm curious!


I got the discontinued Ariat Heritage II Field Boots with the full zip in the back and elastic laces in the front. My tack shop had them on clearance for $199. They are really comfortable, and I think with the help of some moleskin that I'll be ok for Sunday morning.

Wow....2 Days Left!!!!


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

Show day is tomorrow, I had a fantastic lesson today and am really excited!! I'm only doing 2 walk/trot classes, but it's still a big deal for me and it seems like it's going to be a lot of fun.

Fritz was moving much better today, and after speaking with his owner, I found out he has an intense dislike of water, which is why is was so difficult last week. We really hit it off today, and seem to have formed a quick bond, which is awesome 

Time to finish packing up for tomorrow and go to bed, have to be at the barn at 5:30, and it's at least a 40 minute drive.


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## MissH (Apr 10, 2010)

Update update update!!!!


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

Yesterday was show day and was completely exhausting. I never realized how busy it could be on show day. Also, the weather didn't exactly cooperate, it was cold and insanely windy - the wind was spooking the horses and blowing over the jumps.

Fritz was all hyped up when we took him off the trailer. He calmed down for a bit when my trainer warmed him up, but he was still pretty hyper. My trainer told me to hang out with him by the trailer and she'd let me know when to get dressed. Out of nowhere, I hear my name announced to one of the rings, so I head over with Fritz (still not dressed). A woman tells me that they're holding up the class for me!!! I was so freaked out, I RAN back to the trailer, got dressed in like 2 minutes, threw on my boots, and ran back to the ring. Then...the woman told me she made a mistake and there were 4 classes before mine, uggghhhh.

I was so nervous at this point because I thought I was going to miss my class. I got on Fritz and walked him around the grounds to calm us both down. He was still pretty hyper.

When we walked into the ring, his ears perked up (he knew it was show time), and he was a PERFECT gentleman. He was calm, relaxed, and did everything he could to make me look good. I think I rode pretty well, but couldn't place because this was the class with cantering and even if I had wanted to try, he's still only allowed to trot due to injury recovery. My heels were down, but I need to work on quieting my hands while I post.

After the first class, my barn owner shortened my stirrups to force my leg into a better position - I trotted him around for a bit before my second class - what a huge difference! I felt so much more solid, it was wonderful! Then, they canceled my second class, not enough people had registered for it. I was really disappointed, but oh well. I rode him back to the trailer, untacked, brushed him off, and let him graze until it was loading time.

I had so much fun, even though it was insanely hectic. I'm going to start cantering in my next few lessons to prepare for the next show so I can be in more classes.

My trainer is absolutely right about Fritz, he's perfect for me


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

Yesterday was a mixed day at the barn. I have really fallen in love with Fritz, and was finally able to get him ready on my own (rather quickly too). He and I seem to be bonding well, as he doesn't try to bite me and was easy for me to tack (BO says he can be very difficult). As I'm finally comfortable handling him on my own, I asked the BO to speak to his owner about a possible lease. He's a QH / Draft cross, and he's super gentle and a real goofball. He's also the most vocal horse I have ever known.

I was able to speak to his owner last night, and I am officially leasing Fritz twice per week. I got an amazing deal too, the rest of May is free, and after that it'll be 150/month. She's very similar in personality to me, and has the same confidence issues I have, and she felt the lease would be good for all involved. I am so excited! Especially since a friend of mine just moved her horse to my barn, so we can ride together 

Now, about last night's lesson. I really felt I rode well, considering I had a very stressful work day and was doing a lot of no-stirrup work. However, I'm starting to wonder if my trainer is not the best fit for me. I have a lot of physical issues with my body (full body arthritis, fibromyalgia, nerve damage in my right ankle), and I feel like she doesn't take this into consideration. She was yelling at me to stop bouncing around when sitting to the trot without stirrups, when not only was it my first time doing so in almost 15 years, but I have a lot of muscle atrophy from being sick. I'm also used to sitting the trot Western, and have only been riding English since April. She was repeating her instructions over and over again, somewhat loudly, as if I was ignoring her. I said "it may not look like it but I'm really trying", and she told me to stop "back-talking". 

Umm....I'm not a kid, I'm a paying customer, and I'm not being disrespectful. I also have some pretty deep confidence issues, and her comment just made me feel small. I brushed it off at the time, but it made me start thinking. When we were at the show on Sunday, I was very nervous, especially nervous about riding an excited horse in an area with many other excited horses, and she somewhat yelled at me and said "you need to stop". Again, I'm not a child, and am really not too thrilled about being treated like one.

I'm going to have to think this one through, there are 3 other trainers at my barn, but I don't want to step on anyone's toes either. I'm going to just keep it at the back of my mind for awhile, and if I continue to feel it's an issue, I'll speak to the BO about it.

But....I can't stop smiling today knowing that Fritz is mine 2 days a week !!!


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## MissH (Apr 10, 2010)

Well...I've only been with my new coach for five sessions at this point, but I've gotten to know her fairly well. She would NEVER get on me like that, even if she was trying to get me to do something and I couldn't (we haven't really run into that yet). She speaks honestly and openly (and sometimes it's not roses), but I think she realizes too that I'm a paying customer. 

I dunno, there's a fine line between pushing someone as a rider and being a jerk. I think a good coach should push you to be your best, but like I said, there's a fine line. I think a good coach would also find other ways of trying to make something work if you just can't get it right or if something is just inevitably uncomfortable. 

Can't wait to see the next update! I completely understand that this is a tough situation, but at the end of the day, you're a paying customer and some people's personalities just don't get along. I think you'll find that if you don't end up continuing with her there is a way to let her know that without burning the bridge, it will just have to be done super delicately and with consideration that this person is still a human being. 

I hope she doesn't treat you like a little kid next time!


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

I had another lesson on Monday and it went very well. My instructor again made comments about my bouncing around while sitting to the trot, but they were done in a much nicer way. I also reiterated my physical issues and again brought up the muscle atrophy (actually asked her to think of me as double my age, in terms of my physical condition). I think that seemed to "click" for her, and she seemed to understand a little bit better.

Fritz was, as always, such a good boy


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

My last two lessons have been amazing. I finally got the confidence to make Fritz actually work for me instead of letting him poke around, and my riding has improved drastically. My legs are more solid, my heels down, my hands quieter. I'm getting used to using a dressage crop, which has really helped with quieting my hands. 

I felt so much better doing 2-point work yesterday, and was finally able to hold it for once around the arena.

I've been doing a lot of cycling on the weekends to help build up my leg and back muscles, I think it's been paying off.

Fritz's owner will be away for a few days, so I plan on spending lots of time with him this weekend


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## MissH (Apr 10, 2010)

You are so funny...I swear we are twins in terms of "starting over". I'm in exactly the same position re: making them work instead of just worrying about my confidence level. I've had a hell of a few weeks so I haven't posted, but will update tonight. Good for you, and the avatar pic looks amazing! As for the weekend, that's super exciting!

I also agree on the working out comment - I've been gardening non-stop for four days, and have been trying to fit in as much cardio as possible. It's funny what a drastic difference it makes eh?


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

I rode yesterday for the first time in a few weeks, and it was amazing. Fritz was a little grumpy over having a tooth removed 2 weeks ago (it was growing sideways and infected), and it was the first time a bit had been in his mouth since the removal. After a sigh, he let me bridle him like a champ and off we went.

They were doing some maintenance on the bo's house, which is only about 30 feet from the arena, and were using gas power-washers during my lesson. The guy actually started the power washer while I was right behind him in the arena (he didn't know any better). Fritz looked like he was going to spook, but I kept talking to him and pushing him forward. This was a really big boost to my confidence, as I was able to keep my cool and push him forward without incident, in what could have been a very dangerous situation.

Anyway, he was such a good boy for me yesterday, I didn't even have to push him too hard to keep moving forward. Also, I finally got the guts to sit to the trot without stirrups and made it once around the arena! I'm going to do lots of no stirrup work on Thursday when I ride him on my own


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

Wow, I forgot I had even started this blog. I've come a long way in the last two years. I moved to the country (NW CT), got married, bought a house, and found a fantastic Western barn.

I'm full-leasing a wonderful 15.2 Registered AQH mare, and will be purchasing her soon. I'll be showing WP and Showmanship for the first time this year (breed-level shows). My confidence is up, I own proper tack, and life is good! Oh, and I just picked material and got measured for my show clothes.

I'll also be preparing my property at some point within the next year to bring my horse home. We have almost 8 acres with direct access to miles of trails .


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## Nesdamycart (Feb 27, 2012)

*Fritz?*

Hi - just started to read these posts of yours, loved the journey - then a jump in two years, a wedding, purchasing a horse AND property? Do tell! And whatever happened to Fritz...?


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

Glad you updated! You've had a busy 2 years to put it mildly. Sounds like a nice piece of property-it is so nice to have your horse at home w/you, but remember they do best w/company-if you don't want 2 horses of your own,maybe a friend/riding buddy can board w/you?


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## DingDong (Feb 20, 2012)

wow rairainy! i really enjoyed reading your blog, and i am ao glad you updated recently. it gives me confidence and lets me imagine where i could be in 2 years. i am at the beginning stage now where i"ve been taking lessons for a few months and i"ve just switched barns. i am curious why did you switch disciplines again?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

Wow, I had no idea anyone was actually reading this, lol!

Fritz is just as happy as ever with his owner on Long Island, they really are a great match for each other.

It will be at least a few months before I buy Snazzy, and even longer before I bring her home. She's a funny horse, as she can't be put with another horse due to her being extremely dominant. If she is turned out in a paddock next to another horse, she runs and/or charges the fences. These are all behaviors that I want to work on with her, but it's hard when I don't get much say in her turnout as she's not mine yet. She'd be a good only horse, but I will get a second horse as I'm sure my husband will want to ride as well.

I didn't really switch disciplines, I just went back to the one I'm most comfortable with. I've been riding Western on and off since I was 9 years old, and it's the discipline I have had the most training with. It's also the discipline I enjoy the most


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## Nesdamycart (Feb 27, 2012)

Thanks for the update! It's nice to read that you've found a horse you'll be buying - and your plans for bringing her home. My life is following a similar course...


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

My barn started a weekly ladies night. For $10, one of the more experienced riders will teach a clinic on groundwork or riding in a topic of her choosing. Last week, we worked on halter and showmanship. We had a ton of fun, and it gave me a good intro into showmanship, which is one of the classes I'll be focusing on this season. This week we're supposed to be riding, should be fun.

My husband surprised me and came to the barn with me on Sunday, he's very non-horsey. I was riding for a bit and decided to ask him when he'd want to try. I was shocked when he said yes! I gave him a quick intro on walk / stop cues and steering, and he walked her around for about ten minutes. As soon as he got off he started asking about when we're going to buy her, lol!

I have my first lesson with our barn trainer Friday night, I love her as a person but her instruction style doesn't really suit me (I've watched a lot of her lessons). I know I'll learn a ton from her and am looking forward to them, just hope our personalities don't get in the way. I just have to remember not to take anything she says too personal, we need a coach for show season and because I don't yet own my horse, she's my only option.


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

OK, so I had my lesson on Friday night, all that worrying was for nothing....it was amazing!!! We worked on getting our mares to be more pleasant around other horses, did a horsemanship pattern, and worked on showmanship. It was a lot of fun, and with a few tweaks, my position will be show-ready.

On a side note, Snazzy is being treated more and more like she's "mine". Some of the horses are being microchipped next week, and her owner asked if I wanted to have her done as well (with my info). Woo hoo!


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

We had our second show-prep lesson on Friday, and wow, what a difference. I'm still having a few issues getting her to collect in the trot, but we're slowly getting it. We loped during the lesson even though we're sticking to WT classes, and had the best lopes so far. I think I have finally learned to loosen my hips, as I am feeling so much more balanced. Also, my legs are finally in the right spot. I was so proud of us. Snazzy's current owner joined us with another horse, and said we really looked great.

Also, her dress sheet arrived on Friday, and wow, she looks amazing!


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

So....tomorrow I am signing the paperwork and will be her official new owner!!!! I can't explain the excitement, I've wanted a horse since I was 9 years old, and my dream is finally becoming a reality.


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

OK, I'm officially a horse owner. I've been dreaming about this day since I was 9 years old (our first Arizona ranch trip). I still can't believe it's true, I feel like I'm dreaming. I'm sending in the AQHA transfer papers today. Wow, did this really happen? I love her so much!!!


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

Congratulations!


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

Thanks!!! I'm super excited. It was a very emotional sale. Her old owner (a good friend of mine) and I were both in tears.


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

I've been a horse owner for four months now, and it's finally sinking in that she's really mine. Her previous owner is a good friend of mine, and since we're all at the same barn, sometimes I feel as if shes not truly mine, even though she is.

We've had some really great rides lately, even though we had to end our show season early due to me needing wrist surgery. I can't pick out her feet or lift my saddle right now, but I have good barn friends that are helping me out, which is wonderful.

I never thought that I would love her as much as I do. She is truly my heart horse.


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## Nesdamycart (Feb 27, 2012)

Congratulations! So happy to hear you've realized your girlhood dream of owning a horse! It's almost surreal, isn't it? Sometimes, when I'm in the barn, I'll hear my horses (yes, it's crept up to plural, already) snort, or whinny, and I freeze...unable to believe I HAVE HORSES. I love it!


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

I haven't updated in a long time, and it's been an eventful year. I have to stop showing last summer due to needing wrist surgery. Then, board fees increased as Snazzy cannot be turned out with other horses. Money was tight all around, and I made the tough decision to sell her back to her prior owner. I kept leasing her, and things were great.

My BO has grown her business, and the farm is now above capacity. The stable hand quit and BO has not hired anyone else. BO is also starting a special needs riding program, but rather than getting proper training, is just hoping things will magically fall into place. The facilities are looking rundown, and no one seems to be fixing anything. Fencing is inadequate in a few paddocks due to missing boards, etc.

I was still planning on staying, as my horse has my heart, and leaving her would be extremely difficult. Until this week.

Another leaser at the barn asked me to ride with her on Mondays, just so she could have someone there for support, as she's a beginner rider. There is no instruction going on, and no money passing hands, just two friends riding together. Trainer overheard our plans, and told the barn owner that I was giving lessons at her facility. I am not qualified to give lessons, and I state this on a fairly regular basis. I am helping my neighbors and keep suggesting they get a real trainer as I am not qualified.

After being at this barn for almost 3 years, I got a text accusing me of interfering with business. I politely asked for a specific instance, and BO replied that my friend had complained about me to trainer and stated I had offered to give her lessons. THIS NEVER HAPPENED. I trust my friend, I do not trust trainer. She is known for causing issues.

I replied that I had not offered to give lessons, and received a quick reply, stating that perhaps it was a misunderstanding, but that the complaint was correct. Not quite what I was looking for. My friend even sent an email (wanted to put it in writing) that she had no idea why trainer would think she complained about me, and that she enjoyed riding with me. No response after that.

I've been there almost 3 years. I spend most of my Saturdays getting horses from turn out, grooming, tacking lesson horses, and helping the kids. I often swept, watered, and fed when asked. I did this because we were supposed to be part of a community, and enjoyed spending time there. I also brought in a few new clients for lessons, and encouraged people to lease from the barn. I wrote this because I have always shown my support for her business, and would never do anything to interfere, and BO should have known that.

If there had been an apology about the conversations and accusations this week, I would have been upset, but I would have stayed. However, there wasn't, and I feel like the matter was handled extremely unprofessionally. The barn is my place to unwind, relieve stress, etc. I don't want to have to worry about every word I say being twisted or misconstrued, especially by the two people in charge (BO and trainer).

I'm now giving my notice, ending my lease of my heart horse, and moving on. It's breaking my heart to leave my horse, but I doubt I'll ever feel comfortable again. I'm going to try hard to focus on my neighbors horses, who need some work but I can ride them for free. I found a great new trainer with an excellent reputation, and should start twice monthly lessons with him soon. I'm trying to see the positive side of this, but all I can do is cry.


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

My last post was filled with drama, it took a long time to get over having to say goodbye to Snazzy. I started working with my neighbor's horses, but that also had a terrible ending. Their marriage had some issues, and the horses were the ones to suffer most, as they weren't being cared for or fenced, and ended up causing a big accident on the state road on which we live. One older mare lost her life, and 2 others were injured. Thankfully, they are now being cared for, properly, and off the property.

I reconnected with a friend I met when I first moved up here. She owns 5 horses and lots of other animals, but doesn't ride. She's always said I could ride her horses, so I took her up on it. I'm riding a 6yr old buckskin mare, and having the time of my life!

This horse has taught me so much in such a short time, and has helped me to get over so many of my fears. She's super smart, and very sweet, but also very manipulative. The first few times I lunged her, she tried to kill me, but I was determined to work with her, and we are getting to a good place now.

This fast little horse, who loves to run, is learning to slow down. I actually got her to walk in the round pen the other day, which is a huge success for us! She rides out alone, which forces me to be her leader, something I've always struggled with. I have learned that I have to trust her in order for her to trust me. I have learned to laugh at her antics, but to never give up, and that each small victory is a huge step in the right direction.

I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, and Amica proves that to me over and over again. If I hadn't had to sell Snazzy, I never would have bonded with Amica, and my riding would have been standing still instead of improving each time.


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

Amica was seriously hurt on Sunday. She challenged the lead mare of her herd and it didn't end well. She has 2 cracked ribs, and multiple cuts, bruises, skin missing, hoof marks, etc. She's in a stall by herself to heal, and in good spirits thankfully. Her owner thinks if they didn't hear the fight and go down and stop it, that she'd be dead. As of now, the plan is not to put them back together.

I guess I won't be riding again for quite some time. In the meantime, I'll work the unbroke 4yr old from the ground. We can do lots of work with lunging, voice commands, and showmanship training.

Ugh - horses!


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