# Drifter has been diagnosed with "neurological" issues.*update* HE IS GONE.



## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

oh hun! we had a horse boarding with us for awhile with EPM. spent a lot of time training the ****** for them too before they moved him.



soo sorry youre going through this stress right now lots of jingles your way and always here if you need a friend to vent to


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

So so sorry about Drifter. Do the research, live every day with him and enjoy him. If the outlook turns out to be bleak, and a difficult decision has to be made, then do it for him, make the best choice you can for you and him.


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## DriftingShadow (Jun 4, 2012)

Thank you for the words of support! 

Golden- you said it perfectly. That is my plan exactly. My main worry is that if I do have to make "the" decision that I will want to be selfish and keep him with me longer. I hope for the clear head to make the appropriate and right decision when it comes to that time- whatever that decision may be. 

I just feel like so many of the signs/symptoms came on gradually and quietly that I never put two and two together. I had noticed he was leaning against things more, I had noticed he seemed different in personality - but I chalked it up to him being lazy, lethargic, jealous of the new horse, etc. Once my vet was talking to me and putting everything I said together it was like it clicked all into place. I hate feeling like I ignored something right in front of me, but my vet said thats one of the problems with neurological issues. They sneak up on you and often arent apparent unless you look at all the "little things" and put them together in a big picture


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

One of the horses where I board got EPM. I don't know if it's because my stable owner is just super amazing and noticed it right away, but they got the vet out there and started him on treatments, and after just a week he's wayyyyyyyyyyy better. She told me a little bit about it, and said there is a big treatment that knocks it out in one go, and a series of little treatments that some people choose if they don't want to pay for the big treatment all at once. But I thought it was strange reading your post, because my understanding from what I've seen happening with this horse at my stable is that EPM is completely treatable?

Oh I just wanted to make sure to say, in case someone reads this and it somehow reflects on my stable, that no one else at the stable has EPM; it was just a fluke occurrence. I think it really speaks to the care the horses receive there that they caught on basically right when he got sick. The owner pays such close attention to all the horses there, just as if they were her own. She saved one horse's life just last month when the vets were doing nothing to help her other than say "oh it isn't dead yet? huh."


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## DriftingShadow (Jun 4, 2012)

MaximasMommy said:


> One of the horses where I board got EPM. I don't know if it's because my stable owner is just super amazing and noticed it right away, but they got the vet out there and started him on treatments, and after just a week he's wayyyyyyyyyyy better. She told me a little bit about it, and said there is a big treatment that knocks it out in one go, and a series of little treatments that some people choose if they don't want to pay for the big treatment all at once. But I thought it was strange reading your post, because my understanding from what I've seen happening with this horse at my stable is that EPM is completely treatable?


EPM is treatable, yes. But from what I have come to understand from my vet is that is both A. Very expensive and B. if some of Drifte'rs motor neurons ( I believe thats what he called them) have already been killed off (which he expects they have) he will not ever regain function of those areas.

Now thats not to say Drifter wouldnt figure out someway to compensate, but thats an if. Also, my dilemma, is if it stops the disease but not get Drifter back to normal - I would not make him live out the rest of his life like this. He is not happy, and this is no quality of life for him.

So I have a couple of things to think aobut.

1. Treatment with Marquis. It usually runs $1000 a dose and they are ususally dosed 2 months I believe. But sometimes they do a double dose which would mean that month might cost me $2000. Granted, Im sure to some thats pocket change, but for me rihgt now that is a big financial investment. Do I pay that for a horse who will be left exactly where he is now? I wouldnt I dont think because Drifter is not happy or comfortable and that is my longterm goal for him.

2. As of right now we arent sure its actually EPM. He is currently undergoing tests for a lot of things. There are other diseases and issues my vet said we needed to rule out - among them West Nile Virus and the chance of a brain tumor.

3. My main thing is this - when do I know enough is enough? I am a 23 year old college student, paying to get my masters and supporting myself and 3 other animals. Of COURSE I want to help Drifter and pay whatever is needed, but I think my vet was correct in cautioning me to think realistically about what I can afford to pay financially, how LONG i can afford to pay that, and what I would be looking at as far as prognosis after paying for that treatment. I dont want Drifter's quality of life to suffer while I try to afford treaments, and I dont wan tthe quality of life of my other animals to suffer as well. 

I have had to prioritize quite a bit for injuries and such in the past with my guys and I have always made it work - but this new challenge is quite a hill and its pretty dang daunting. So really my main issue isnt whether EPM is treatable, its whether or not its treatable in my case and whether its worth going through with.

That is why I said I was going to continue my research. Whatever decision I make will hopefully be a well informed and educated one


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## DriftingShadow (Jun 4, 2012)

Also- in reference to the last bit in your post- I dont think EPM reflects in quality of care. I think its just one of those fluke things. The care at my barn definitely isnt lacking and I do most of my boys' care myself. I am out there 2 or 3 times a day and I handle them daily. Could I have caught this sooner? Probably. But as I mentioned before, it was a bunch of little things that I never thought to put all together. Am I mentally kicking and berating myself right now? You betcha.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

DriftingShadow said:


> That is why I said I was going to continue my research. Whatever decision I make will hopefully be a well informed and educated one


A lot of people can have input into this, but only you know ALL of the facts, so don't be pressured one way or the other by outside folk.

Once you have looked at all the research, and have the full diagnoses, can you add the last few bits to the puzzle, and that is your finances and situation. As much as some people would fight for ever to keep an animal alive, I'm more of a realist, sometimes you just have to say enough.

Again, I hope for the best for you.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

My stable owner told me the pay by treatment method was around $100 a treatment. That's what she said the horse's owners ended up doing, and it seems to be working really well. Also, she said they confirmed his diagnosis with a blood test. I agree it makes sense to not jump into treatment without a test result! 

I send you lots of hugs and carrots  I hope your tests come back with something easy and cure-able.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

DriftingShadow said:


> Also- in reference to the last bit in your post- I dont think EPM reflects in quality of care. I think its just one of those fluke things. The care at my barn definitely isnt lacking and I do most of my boys' care myself. I am out there 2 or 3 times a day and I handle them daily. Could I have caught this sooner? Probably. But as I mentioned before, it was a bunch of little things that I never thought to put all together. Am I mentally kicking and berating myself right now? You betcha.


Ohhmygosh I wasn't saying anything about you! I was just feeling kind of iffy about posting about the incident at my barn. One of the boarders flipped out and left when she found out. So I just had to go back and make sure I wasn't putting anything on the internet that was a huge "MY STABLE IS BAD" sign. Cuz I guess some people get weird about other horses turning up sick at the place they board..


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## DriftingShadow (Jun 4, 2012)

I am guessing they probably used the new medication known as "Rebalance"? My vet mentioned they were using that at the school (hes an equine specialist from the vet school) but that it had mostly seemed to work in cases which werent as far advanced as Drifter.

The price still comes out to be the same because he mentioned you were paying $100 a month for a longer period of time. It does make it more do able though on my end, because its $100 payments rather than a lump sum of $1000 right then. But at the same time, the length of treatment and the fact its slightly less aggressive means the disease would still be at work for a while, killing off more of Drifters neural pathways.

Its really a back and forth thing right now. I keep thinking "thats what Im going to do" and then I jump to another situation. My goal right now is to enjoy the time I have with him and keep him as comfortable as I can while I wait for results. His diagnosis will obviously dictate where we go from here. I will treat if I can, and am hoping and praying for something that is treatable - and not a tumor. 

I appreciate all the advice and support I've already gotten! Its amazing how quickly these animals can worm their way into our hearts and lives. 'I honestly thought it would be another stifle or pelvic injury. Drifter is a pro at getting those. Neurologic is such a scary word. I am also the type of personality that wants to know WHY my horse is having these symptoms and whats causing it and playing the waiting game for test results is killing me.


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## Roux (Aug 23, 2013)

I am so sorry to hear about Drifter. I know you are having a rough go of it right now. It is so hard to hear something that devastating when you are least expecting it. Hugs your way.


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

I would say just don't worry and stress too much about it until you get the test results back. Just go out and love on him and make the most of it for now!


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## wyominggrandma (Nov 4, 2009)

I am sorry about your Drifter. I hope when and if you have to make a decision on which way to go, that you do it for Drifter and yourself. Nobody has the right to make you feel bad for a decision that falls into finances. You and you alone know what they are and how even spending $100 a month for life can make a difference. You also have another horse to care for that needs you.
Drifter, from the sounds of your description, is not in a happy place. He hurts and has to do things that other horses don't have to do just to maintain normal daily life.. If you could ask him what to do, it might be an easier decision for you to make. He doesn't look at life in the future, he lives life for today. They don't understand being put to sleep as something scary. He is dealing with having to walk funny, stand against things for balance, etc. That is not a normal thing for an animal, and nobody knows what his mind is telling him except he is vulnerable and can't do a fight or flight.
Make you decision for what is right for you and Drift. Don't listen to stories about other horses that lived with the same issue and how good they are doing. How the treatment is not so expensive and can make the horse live. Keeping a sound horse is very expensive in its own right, keeping a pasture pet is not something a lot of us can afford to do. Each horse is different when facing a disease and how it reacts to it. Every person doesn't handle disease the same way in human medicine, veterinary medicine is the same.
I hope things turn around, but just do what YOU need to do and don't feel forced by others to make a decision for you or feel quilty. Make the proper decision for you and Drifter when, and if, the time comes


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## zookeeper1991 (Sep 11, 2012)

I am so sorry to hear about your horse! There was a horse boarded at our previous barn that had EPM. The treatment helped her but it was very expensive and she had other allergy/asthma-type problems that also take quite a toll on her. Good luck to you and I hope the test results come back with good news.


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## Cat (Jul 26, 2008)

I'm so sorry. I've been in your shoes before and you have my full support no matter what you choose. 

I had a horse about 8 years ago that stumbled a couple times on a ride and then bucked me off not far into the ride. The horse had never offered to buck in his life. Then the rest of the week he just seemed "off" until finally I go out one day and see him falling over like a drunk. He was the very first horse I ever owned and it was completely heartbreaking to see and hear the potential diagnosis. When I first saw him I thought for sure my vet was going to tell me he needed to be put down that day.

What I can tell you - diagnosing was expensive back then because there was no accurate test. Still isn't any test that is 100% from what I understand, but worlds better than what we had. I also had to pay for a lot of tests to narrow down the likely hood of it being EPM. Now you can get some testing options that you can have more confidence in the result. 

One thing I have learned studying and talking with other EPM owners is don't go chasing cheap miracle cures. Most of these horses that recover - especially in a really short time - never really had EPM in the first place and are one of the common mis-diagnosed cases. EPM has gone through phases where if there was anything "off" then EPM was automatically diagnosed and the "test" used - well up to 75% of the horses would come back positive on that test and it really didn't mean anything. But I do have to say - your horse sounds a lot like what mine was doing.

I treated using Marquis. 1 cup of corn oil in feed about 10-15 minutes before treatment to increase absorption rate. Thankfully I had a really good working relationship with my vet and he let me make payments on it or else I would not have been able to afford it. Oh yeah - and when it first happened my vet took him to the clinic for the weekend and had him on DMSO drips several times through the day as well. He was markedly improved right after one of those drips was administered and it gave me some hope. Not sure if your vet would be able to do the same for your horse? He also started him on the sulfamides "old/traditional" treatment for EPM until we got actual results back from the testing and moved to Marquis.

Took 8 months before I felt comfortable enough to get back on him. 1 year before we moved from basic walking to trot work (probably could have before then, but I was in no rush so took it slow). Before the EPM I had no problem cantering him. Took a couple years before I got a good confident canter from him under saddle. About the time he would canter under saddle I finally could see no atrophy on his left side anymore. 

He did end up 100% recovered, but it took a LONG while. It took a lot of in-hand rehab time, and just time in general. Some people have results faster and others have horses that never recover 100%. It depends on the horse and when it is caught.

Personally I don't know what I would do if I was faced with it again, even though my horse did make it. It was **** hard. I could not fault an owner for choosing either path. Its is a disease that takes a lot of time, money, tears, and dedication.


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## BlueSpark (Feb 22, 2012)

I just wanted to say, its refreshing to see someone realistically looking at the best options for their horse, even when that best option is euthanasia. I had a colt I dearly loved that I put down, and I almost wished I had done it sooner. I kept hoping it would heal, and he would magically get better.

Horses don't look to the future, and plan for tomorrow, they just live in today. When they wake up uncomfortable every morning their quality of life is poor. I whole heartedly agree with the saying "better a moment too soon than a moment too late". I'm sorry that you have to go through this.:-(


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## DriftingShadow (Jun 4, 2012)

Thanks everybody! My vet pulled blood and spinal fluid today at the school and is running a panel to check for EPM along with a variety of other issues. 
We are waiting for the results and keeping drifter as comfortable as possible in the mean time.

I have started massaging him with a good sized curry comb all over for 40 mins twice a day. I try to massage 20 mins each side and cover from his heck to his chest down his legs all the way to his tail. I have been paying particular attention to his right side which is incredibly even more stuff than his left, though he is generally tight and uncomfortable everywhere.

My vet recommended I get him stArted on some Vitamin E so I have added that to his diet as well along with MSM which he now gets twice daily. 

My vet really helped me see what we were looking at as far as abnormality body condition wise by standing drifter and whiskey side by side and walking me through an evaluation of both of them. He would perform a neurological test on drifter and then perform the same one on Whiskey. The differences were obvious. I can't believe that so many of the signs I had just chalked up to "oh that's drifter".

One thing my vet and I have both taken notice of is drifters extreme change in personality and herd habits. He has always been the horse who is co dependent and needed to be by his buddies. Now he is off Alone more and more. And when he goes off it is a great deal farther off than the rest of the herd. He is also
More aggressive towards the other horses in the herd, and has shown more aggression towards me and the vet also.

He has been vaccinated against rabies though I know it's not 100 percent effective. My vet does not seen to think he has that though.


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## Cat (Jul 26, 2008)

My horse ended up with a bit of a personality change as well and I've heard others listed it as a side effect as well. Mine ended up more dominant, less willing, had a bit of an attitude he didn't have before the EPM. 

I forgot about the vitamin E. My boy was also on that.

Good luck.


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Oh, honey :hug:. I'm so sorry.

I don't really have any advice as far as treatment and other folks have already covered that so I'll just say; keep that chin up and give him the best home you can for as long as you can. :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:


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## amp23 (Jan 6, 2011)

Oh gosh. I'm so sorry to hear about Drifter. I can't offer you any advice, but I'm here to listen and offer my support in whatever path you choose to take with him! *hugs*
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 4horses (Nov 26, 2012)

Try Oraquin-10. My friend treated her EPM horse with it and he was back to riding about 4 weeks later. It was a miracle and not too expensive.

EPMhorse ? Drugs and protocols for EPM treatment

EPM is no longer a death sentence. You need to stop waiting and treat him NOW. I would not wait. The longer you wait, the more likely he'll have permanent damage.

FYI: they can recover and regain function. It just depends if you can control the inflammatory response and keep the nerve damage from getting worse.


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## DriftingShadow (Jun 4, 2012)

4 horses- my vet spoke to me about orAquin 10 yesterday. He also gave me information about some field trials currently being conducted by the school that I could get in on if I was interested. My vet is usually very proactive about treatments and the fact that he keeps suggesting I wait for the test results makes me think maybe he does not believe its EPM. Though if that was the case, I have no idea what he's thinking it is. 

Drifter has stayed the same so far- no change in personality or behavior for better or for worse. When massaging him this morning I did notice that his muscles were starting to feel more like pliant muscle than hard as a rock plywood
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## 4horses (Nov 26, 2012)

If it was personally my horse I wouldn't wait for test results. I would treat. EPM is common where I live. 

Some horses can go downhill very quickly. I would not want to go out and find him to have collapsed in the field. 

Call your vet and ask how long the test results will take. 

In general, since side effects are not an issue, I would rather treat. EPM can kill your horse! It is not something to wait and see on. 

A field trial using Oroquin-10, a 10-day drug treatment for EPM, is currently available. This non-toxic drug is absorbed quickly and kills intracellular pathogenic protozoa that can evade other treatments (which leads to relapse conditions). Oroquin-10 is non-toxic to animals and is formulated to stimulate protective immunity during treatment. The in vitro efficacy against SAG 1 and SAG 5 phenotypes has been established. Challenge trials are ongoing. The drug is safe in horses at 10 times the prescribed dose. No side effects have been reported.


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## 4horses (Nov 26, 2012)

Here is a list for a differential diagnosis:





[*]Any instability or abnormality of the vertebrae of the neck, such as “wobblers”  
[*]Equine Herpes virus infection of the brain and spinal cord  
[*]Other viral disease of the brain and spinal cord such as rabies, EEE, WEE, West Nile virus  
[*]EMND (equine motor neuron disease)  
[*]Injury/trauma of the spinal cord or brain  
[*]EDM (equine degenerative myeloencephalopathy)  
[*]Polyneuritis Equi (PNE, including cauda equina)  
[*]Tumor or abscess of the brain or spinal cord 
"Most of the cases of EPM are progressive," says Pusterela. "And we know that the more severely affected horses may improve with treatment, but the chance for full remission in the severely affected animal is significantly worse. If the same animal is treated early on, the signs may be fairly mild to moderate."


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## DriftingShadow (Jun 4, 2012)

He's gone. 

I got to the barn to take care of him this evening and he was rubbing his head pretty roughly against a tree. He also had a nose bleed. My friend helped me catch him and he immediately tried to start hitting his head violently against her. I called my vet out and we made the decision to let him go. He was obviously in pain, and there is nothing I could do for him. My vet believes he had a brain lesion.

Thank you to everyone who has helped me with him. With this issue and with the many others we were faced with in the past. He gave me the best two years of my life I've ever had, and I hope he knows how grateful I am.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

*hugs* You made the right choice.


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## barrelbeginner (Jan 31, 2012)

I'm so sorry for your loss I just cried reading that. :/ You made the right decision.. Sorry I am not offering much comfort.. as the " I know what your going through" Does not work.. I have NOT been in the EXACT situation.. It's always hard.. and Im truly sorry.


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## VickiRose (Jul 13, 2013)

Oh no! Hugs to you, letting any furry family member go is so hard... Well done for making the hard choice, and it is still hard even when you know they are in pain...


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

So so  sorry Drifting, there are to words to make it better, so just to say we know how difficult it is to say goodbye.


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

:-( oh no! so sorry hun. (((lots of hugz))):hug:


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## amp23 (Jan 6, 2011)

I'm so sorry  you made the right choice. So sorry you had to make the choice like this. Hugs!!


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## wyominggrandma (Nov 4, 2009)

I am sorry for you and Drifter. It sounds like things went downhill fast and you made the decision for Drifter and his obvious pain and let him go.
I will comment on the possible brain lesion. I had a puppy that had broken his leg and was healing well. One day when he got out of his crate, he was circling and leaning constantly. Very lethargic.. and kept pressing his head into the wall or into my leg or hand. I made the decision to PTS as the vet felt he had suffered a blood clot to his brain that most likely formed a lesion. Said head pressing is usually a sign of severe pain in animals.
My thoughts are with you. I know your decision gave you pain, but let Drifter out of his.


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## Jore (Dec 4, 2010)

I am so sorry for your loss.

There is nothing more painful than losing them unexpectedly. 

Words are probably of little comfort to you, but you can be comforted by the fact that you did the best you could for him and that he knew that, and loved you for it.


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## rideverystride (Jul 19, 2013)

I am so sorry for your loss. That must have been a tough way to see him go. My heart goes out to you.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

So sorry for you, but only relieved that the way forward was made clear to you, and without a long time to agonize over the decision or a painful decline for him. hugs,
Caroline


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## SaddleStrings (May 15, 2012)

I am so sorry! No words can express how sorry I am for you. You made the right decision, and Drifter can now be at peace. My condolences.


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## Sharpie (May 24, 2009)

You and Drifter will be in my thoughts tonight. Remember the gifts he gave you in your time together and do not second guess yourself. At the end, he made the decision clear for you, even if that was the last gift he had. (Hugs)


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Drifting, my deepest, most heartfelt condolences. You did right by your boy. Please don't second guess and drive yourself crazy with 'what ifs'. 

You took his pain and made it your own. That's the best and last gift we can give these lovely animals; freedom from a failing body.


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## TownesThatBigChestnut (Sep 8, 2013)

I am devastated for you. You did right by Drifter, but you must be crushed.

I am so, so sorry.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gypsygirl (Oct 15, 2009)

I'm so sorry for your loss 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

I'm so sorry!


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

So, So, sorry. ((((HUGS))))


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## spirit88 (Jan 12, 2011)

So sorry for your loss!! you did the right thing you set him free of his pain. (((HUGS))) to you.


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Oh, sweetie, I'm sharing in your tears right now . I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug:


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## Oliveren15 (Apr 28, 2013)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Drifter will always be in your memories and heart. You made the right decision, even though its very hard to let them go. Once again I'm so sorry. Rest Peacefully, Drifter.


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

So sorry for your loss, but it was courageous of you to end his pain.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hemms (Apr 18, 2012)

Hugs.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EliRose (Aug 12, 2012)

I'm so, so sorry for your loss  You did the right thing though.


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## 4horses (Nov 26, 2012)

I know this comes off very harsh- It is not my goal too make you feel worse when you are already down. When you are feeling better, maybe try re-reading and seeing if it makes more sense. 

If you do not have the money to get veterinary treatment for your horse, than you should not have horses. Maybe you should think about selling your other horse if you cannot pay for their medical bills if they get sick. It may be more cost effective to take lessons. 

You should have at least over a thousand set aside for medical expenses/emergencies. If you don't have that kind of money set aside, all it takes is you loosing your job, getting sick or in an accident and you won't even be able to afford your horse's feed bill.

It is so easy to rack up a thousand dollars worth of vet bills. I've done so every year for the past 4 years due to various injuries and illness (hip injury, bleeding sinuses due to infection, cat with urinary issues, sick dog etc). I plan on spending over $1000 per year on vet bills, not including the money I set aside for emergencies.

Please use this as a learning experience and take a close look at your finances. If you cannot afford the vet, than you really should think about selling your other horse. Do you really want to face losing another animal, if you can't pay the vet bill?


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## stevenson (Sep 12, 2011)

sorry to hear of your loss. It is such a hard and heartbreaking decision to make. You made the right decision to end his pain and suffering.


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## texasgal (Jul 25, 2008)

This stinks. I'm so sorry *hugs*


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## Sharpie (May 24, 2009)

4Horses, at no point did the OP say she did not have the money to treat her horse or would have been unable to make it work had that been the decision she wanted to make. She was FOLLOWING HER VET'S ADVICE and waiting on the test results before making the decision to either treat, persue further diagnostics, or euthanize. Her horse became unexpectedly and rapidly worse and so that decision was taken out of her hands. Even with an extra $10K in a horse's medical fund, deciding to spend several thousand with ZERO guarantee of a pain-free, pasture-sound horse at the end is something worth waiting for a test result to come back on when there was no reason to expect any rapid progression or harm to come from waiting a few days more.


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## SEAmom (Jan 8, 2011)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Reading through the thread, I was very hopeful for both of you. You certainly did the right thing. Don't listen to a word 4horses said - at all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EponaLynn (Jul 16, 2013)

So sorry for your loss of beautiful Drifter <3.


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## showjumperachel (Jul 13, 2013)

I'm sorry to hear about your boy, I can't imagine how hard it must be on you. The only positive is that at least you know he is no longer in pain. I read the whole story and was really rooting for him. But from the rapid deterioration, it sounds like it probably wasn't EPM after all. 

I also would not listen to a thing 4horses said - how incredibly rude and uncalled for. I too am a 23 year old college student and barely getting by to support myself and my horse. BUT if a major vet bill came up, it is something you deal with and figure out when the time comes. It sounds like you did everything you could to help your horse. 

RIP Drifter.


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## DriftingShadow (Jun 4, 2012)

Thank you all for the prayers and thoughts. I've been looking at them all periodically throughout the day. I honestly dont know how I feel. I hadnt even fully digested the news that we were facing a neurological issue and now I'm having to sit here and tell myself he's gone.

I'm taking a break from the barn for a bit, and probably this forum for a while as well. Whiskey's leaser will continue to ride him, and my good friends will keep an eye on him for me. I'm sure I will go see him soon, but facing Drifter not being in the pasture waiting for me just feels like something I can't do right now.

I just want to say thank you again to all of the people I have made friends with here on HF who have helped me over the past year and a half with Drifter. I hope my love for him was always apparent, and I hope people understand I was never not going to pay for treatment because I could not afford it. I would never own an animal unless I could afford to keep it happy and healthy. Due to his surgery last may, yes, my money for vet bills was a little tighter than usual but my main thought behind my reasoning was I was afraid of putting Drifter through unnecessary uncomfortableness and pain, but God has made that decision for me. The vet school is going to do a necropsy, so we will know for sure what it was he was suffering from. I have always worked closely with my vet, and this time was no different.

My one wish is perhaps this thread can help someone else facing the same thing. If you feel something if off with your horse, don't ignore it. Learn what is normal for your horse and pay attention to the little things. It devastates me to wonder if I could have changed yesterday, by being aware of the signs sooner. I wrote off little signs as just "little things" or "habits". Some of the signs Drifter has been showing for months, but I never spoke up about them because I had no idea. Whether or not this could have changed the outcome, I do not know. But perhaps I (and he) would have been better prepared for what was coming.

I love that horse, and I don't know if I will ever find another one I feel the same way about. I was blessed to have owned him and I will forever be thankful for the wonderful places he took me, and the many friends he helped me make. I didn't just lose a horse,or a pet, I lost a dear friend. I just hope he knew how highly I thought of him. 

Again, thank you all. God Bless.

-Taylor


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## tempest (Jan 26, 2009)

I'm so sorry Drifting, you did the right thing. I'm sorry it had to end that way though. 4horses is out of line and please don't listen to them.

I hope to see you on the forum again some day. Take however much time you need to recover. The pain may never leave completely, it never does when a heart horse or your best friend dies but it does get better. The pain lessens. I promise. Keep your head up though.


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## Chickenoverlord (Apr 30, 2013)

I'm so sorry. You did the right thing, no matter what anyone tells you. I'm sure he is galloping happily up in heaven waiting for you to come for a ride. I am crying my opeyes out for you as as read this thread. I hope to see you around the forum again one day, and I pray that you find peace. Do not blame yourself for not noticing sooner, you did better than I would have. Much love, and many prayers.


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## amarentharose (Oct 13, 2013)

..... As someone who boards out there, the horse isn't dead guys.

Seriously, he's out in the pasture now unless she went out and shot him.


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

Taylor-I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved Drifter. I've had a LOT of horses over the years & it's always hard. I've been blessed w/pretty healthy horses & vet expenses aren't a major expense for me & they aren't for a lot of animal owners. You don't have to be super rich to enjoy the pleasures of horse ownership. Know that you did your best & Drifter knew he was loved. RIP Drifter.


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## JCnGrace (Apr 28, 2013)

Taylor you have my condolences on the loss of your friend. 

In your last post you indicated that you're taking a break from horses and going to the barn. I sooo don't recommend you give into that feeling. The longer you put it off the harder it will be to start going again. It wouldn't matter but you do have another horse out there that needs your time and attention. A few years ago I had 2 horses that I loved dearly euthanized. I dreaded going to the barn and not seeing them there but it made me face the fact that they were gone and the other horses needed a little extra tlc and they offered comfort to me as well. Please rethink!


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## Cat (Jul 26, 2008)

amarentharose said:


> ..... As someone who boards out there, the horse isn't dead guys.
> 
> Seriously, he's out in the pasture now unless she went out and shot him.


Interesting. You might want to bring this up to the mods and tell them your side so they can sort through it.


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

amarentharose said:


> ..... As someone who boards out there, the horse isn't dead guys.
> 
> Seriously, he's out in the pasture now unless she went out and shot him.



Don't know who you say you are, but if you have a problem with the OP then go take it up with the mods. This is the second thread of hers that you have talked crap on and it seems as if you got on here just to spread rumors about her....who do you think we are gonna believe??




don't listen to ^^or 4horses hun. People will make their judgements but they don't know the story. This is an internet forum.


Take whatever time you need and know we are Always here for you!


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## JaphyJaphy (Nov 15, 2012)

It's always hard to lose a friend. Sorry to hear the news. We're all here for you.


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## Dustbunny (Oct 22, 2012)

I think for many of us there is the one that holds a special place in our hearts.
Drifter will always be there in the many memories you will always carry with you.
We all share your sorrow.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Sorry folks, I have to close this thread until we can investigate something that came up about OP.


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