# Roommate chore chart



## Clayton Taffy (May 24, 2011)

Good idea in theory, but it won't work.

You can't sit them down and give them the cleaning schedule.

You could say, when you hand her the key, that she is expected to pick up after herself and help out with the general housekeeping duties such as sweeping, vaccuuming, shower and toilet cleaning.

Put up a few cute signs, one in the kitchen and one in the bath Saying pick up.


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

To be honest when people say "cleaning roster" my gut response is to get away. 

There are a few reasons for this I guess. First is that the instigator is putting themselves in a position of power over the other people. By dictating the terms of this they're setting up an unequal power balance which throws me right off. 

Second, I'm an adult. I live out of home. Home is a sanctuary, a place to relax, a place to be me. When there is a roster outlining what needs to be done by what day etc I feel like I've lost all my independence, like I'm being scheduled at a job, or that I'm a child that needs to be told what to do. I pay rent to live somewhere not to be bossed about. 

I'm not the only person who feels like this. I've met so many others that when you say the words "roster" or similar they want to run the other way. It's just not the way you want to approach a living situation. 

The best thing to do in my opinion and experience is start by being upfront. When you interview them for the room ask them what their idea of cleaning is. How often do they expect to vacuum, clean the bathroom and properly clean the kitchen? Sounds like a pretty straight forward thing, but everyone does have different answers. Some people I've lived with think that you don't need to properly clean kitchens if everyone puts their stuff away. Some people think you need to clean bathrooms weekly, others monthly. We take our cleaning expectations for granted where as people actually have a widely different idea of what is "normal". So find out what it is and if its quite different to your idea then don't live them. You can't expect people to change. 

Then discuss your expectations clearly. Like do you expect people to wash up and wipe up immediately after cooking? Or can they do dishes at the end of a day, do they need to tidy before they eat or can they leave their stuff out of a couple of hours? Be clear. Is everyone required to vacuum, clean bathroom and kitchen once a week, if so, when? What if they're busy that day or just plain don't feel like it? Who decides that? Is the person happy with that? Try to find someone who thinks the same as you, because in the long run it will be much easier. 

What I have found works best is each person having a certain chore at a certain time, like one person cleans the bathroom, one cleans the kitchen, and one vacuums that week. And they can do it whenever they want that week, as long as it gets done. Then the next week you switch about. You don't even need to write it down or anything, just informally rotate between yourselves. On top of that everyone cleans up after themselves. 

To be honest I think vacumming/sweeping three times a week is a lot. I've lived in many group houses and not one of them has had a particular chore more than once a week. When I lived with a girl who had a shedding dog she did all the vacumming and sweeping because she knew that without her animal the place wouldn't be needing that much upkeep. 

To me, spending more than one day a week on cleaning is excessive. I have a life and I'm not going to spend it cleaning. I'll clean up after myself, wipe stuff down etc but not take time out to clean. Expecting other people to do that is also too much. 

I've lived out of home for five years and I've lived with a range of people in a range of countries. Some have NEVER cleaned/vacuumed and some were good. But you've got to lighten up. Yes you have your standards but other people have their standards. You wouldn't want to conform to theirs so you shouldn't expect them to go to yours. Find a reasonable middle ground and go with it. 

And work this stuff out prior to moving in. 

Good luck - sharing can be a nightmare! And sorry for the super long response, I am feeling too rotten to be succicent.


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

But asking everyone to clean one week isn't any different than making a chore chart, so I'm confused. It's just a longer drawn out one.

Interviewing is kind of a moot point right now, I already have the roommates, and no matter how much you talk about cleaning, everyone always says they are cleaner than the are. Like the roommate moving out is horribly disgusting but man did he boast about how much he straightened up.

I don't mind vacuuming more as I have the two cats, but I don't think I should be the only one to do it. We all walk down the hallway and use the living room.

I firmly believe that without being directed, most people won't do anything and will procrastinate the hell out of it. I feel it'll be me asserting dominance more if I have to ask either of them, "hey, can you vacuum?" as opposed to sitting down together and working something out TOGETHER. I don't think suggesting this is making myself a dictator, and I don't want to be a nag, which is the other alternative. 

If everything gets done once a week, I can live with that. That's why I plan on talking to the girls about what their thoughts are on it.

I have also heard from many people whilst complaining about roommates that chore charts were a lifesaver for them.

Mostly, I'm tired of being taken advantage of. It seems they think that it stays pretty clean without having to do much, because I'm the one who does it. I'm not a maid, and unless they want to start accommodating me for those maid duties, I've no intention of continuing to be one. 

Anyone else? Sorry if my thoughts are jumbled, just woke up.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

You can't designate a day or pin down anything to someone's schedule. You don't know how they're feeling or what they have going on. No one is going to drop everything and run home loon a particular night because they are supposed to clean. If everything financially is split equally you again have less pull. If you're willing to take on more rent in exchange for chores done a certain way then some people would go for that.

Are you really being taken advantage of? They're not asking you to clean and you have the higher standard that you want people to live up to.

Any space that's your space is fine to nitpick over but shared space you're going to either have to let it be how it goes or just take on more work if you want it a certain way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

DancingArabian said:


> You can't designate a day or pin down anything to someone's schedule. You don't know how they're feeling or what they have going on. No one is going to drop everything and run home loon a particular night because they are supposed to clean. If everything financially is split equally you again have less pull. If you're willing to take on more rent in exchange for chores done a certain way then some people would go for that.
> 
> Are you really being taken advantage of? They're not asking you to clean and you have the higher standard that you want people to live up to.
> 
> ...


I did say I had no intention of being a nazi. If we decided on a day and you miss it, no big deal. I don't expect anyone to rush home or cancel plans or not make plans because its their cleaning day.

I AM being taken advantage of it. I have been taken advantage of with every roommate. People see it clean and don't think anything of it, no one takes out the AP cleaner and wipes down the counter. EVER.

I don't assume I have pull. Again, this is something I plan on taking about WITH EVERYONE SO WE ARE ALL IN AGREEMENT. I think people assume I'm just assigning shifts and that isn't the case. Everyone will have to agree on what we decide. We ALL have to be willing to compensate.

I also feel it is important to add the apartment is tiny. The slowest cleaner ever would be done sweeping, vacuuming, and have the kitchen wiped down in twenty minutes. Tops.


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## Clayton Taffy (May 24, 2011)

What about saying you will charge everyone more money and hire a cleaning woman, if they don't start helping with the cleaning.


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## Shropshirerosie (Jan 24, 2012)

riccil0ve said:


> I firmly believe that without being directed, most people won't do anything and will procrastinate the hell out of it. I feel it'll be me asserting dominance more if I have to ask either of them, "hey, can you vacuum?" as opposed to sitting down together and working something out TOGETHER. I don't think suggesting this is making myself a dictator, and I don't want to be a nag, which is the other alternative.


I totally agree with Saskia, and reading your response the first sentence above says it all: if you truly believe that "people" won't do anything without you telling them what to do, and when, and how, then you are going to live a very stressed life and go through housemates like hot toast.

You are not always right! Just because you deem that a bathroom needs cleaning doesn't mean that your judgement over-rules everyone else's. if you want to share a house you are going to have to learn to compromise.

Personally, I think that each person should clean up after themselves, and that the vacuuming and floors need doing once a week. 

People are different - you are a cleaning-goddess, maybe one of your housemates is a great cook. Enjoy the differences.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Ricci I think you missed my point. You've already lost your case with people when you designate a day. It doesn't matter that it takes 20 minutes. It's the whole aspect of people feeling like they're being mothered into chores when they're supposed to be on their own. Taking an I scheduled approach is better - even if YOU have a schedule in kind just don't say anything and make it look spontaneous. I do stuff like that st work all the time and it does work. If its a Saturday morning and everyone is lounging about its a great time to start cleaning up and ask for help. In your head it was cleaning day but there was no assignments. Follow me? Point is you can't suggest, ask, designate, whatever chores. In theory it works but in reality it doesn't and you should see that from experience. You have to let to the expectation and firm belief of what other people will do. It may be the truth but it causes you to act in a way that makes people reject what you're saying - your experiences should be confirming this.

If you volunteer to do something, especially if its because you have a higher standard, you're not being taken advantage of, sorry. They may be benefitting from a nicer house but its not as important to them as it is you. If its really "only twenty minutes" then why is it such a sore point? I do agree that everyone should clean up after the selves to a point - dishes, trash, dropped items - but the overall house is not something that can be delegated out when the majority of the people living there are ok with it one way and the minority is not/
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

Shropshirerosie said:


> I totally agree with Saskia, and reading your response the first sentence above says it all: if you truly believe that "people" won't do anything without you telling them what to do, and when, and how, then you are going to live a very stressed life and go through housemates like hot toast.
> 
> You are not always right! Just because you deem that a bathroom needs cleaning doesn't mean that your judgement over-rules everyone else's. if you want to share a house you are going to have to learn to compromise.
> 
> ...


What you and several others have seemed to suggest is a weekly rotating clean. That is exactly what I am trying to suggest to them; a routine. We all get together, we all decide how often things should be done, we all agree on a rotating routine. Why is it so different when everyone else says it?

Please don't assume you know me, my habits, my stress level, etc.

ETA: Why do I have to be the only one who compensates? That isn't fair. If I accept less and they do more, it evens out. That is all I'm looking for. An even playing field for all of us.

Again, I NEVER SAID I WOULD NAIL DOWN A DAY. WE WILL TAKE AS A TRIO AND ARRIVE AT AN AGREEABLE ROUTINE FOR EVERYONE. THAT is what I am suggesting.


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

I find it odd that I can post a thread complaining about slobby roommates and tons of people suggest a chore chart or the like. But I can post a thread asking about a chore chart and everyone thinks I'm a dictator and playing the victim. Isn't that odd?


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## Clayton Taffy (May 24, 2011)

Hey I understand where you are coming from. I can only speak for myself, but I feel most people are recomending that you don't use a chart because you will come off as a tyrant and a control freak.

I understand that you don't want to live in a pig sty, but you can't make people do something. You can recomend, suggest, even beg. 

My sugestion is get older roomates


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

Ran out of time to edit. -_-

I know you can only go off what I say, but please try to give me the benefit of the doubt. If I don't do the three things I am talking about, it doesn't get done. It may be different with this new roommate, it may not, I don't know.

I am fully willing to take on the extra things to appease my clean freak nature [cleaning windows, dusting, wiping out the fridge, etc]. That doesn't make me feel taken advantage of. That is all me. 

What makes me feel taken advantage of is the fact that it doesn't get done unless I do it. People assume I will clean it up, they will wait and let someone else do it, but rarely do it themselves. Expecting someone to pull out a vacuum is not asking too much. I use the term "chart" loosely, as my only goal is to make it even. I don't care how often. Sure, in my ideal world it would be three times a week, but if it was once a week, once a month, I don't care. At least it wouldn't just be me doing it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

Taffy Clayton said:


> Hey I understand where you are coming from. I can only speak for myself, but I feel most people are recomending that you don't use a chart because you will come off as a tyrant and a control freak.
> 
> I understand that you don't want to live in a pig sty, but you can't make people do something. You can recomend, suggest, even beg.
> 
> My sugestion is get older roomates


Great suggestion in theory, but not necessarily in practice or applicable. First roommate was older and been on her own much longer. Second was older. The third and fourth were my age, fifth is 30 and so awful we kicked them out, now these two are younger. I have lived with men and women, of varying friendships, and just have horrid luck. And in any case, these are the roommates I have, if I want different ones I have to leave.

ETA: I am well aware I can't force anyone to do anything.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Maybe take a different approach than you have in the past? We know that the past ways of getting the chores done hasn't been working. Honestly I can't think of a way to keep everyone on top of chores if they're going to be totally unmotivated without being reminded, which is just going to make you come off as a nag.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gypsygirl (Oct 15, 2009)

my roomate wants everything clean, but doesnt want to do the work. i feel like im being ordered around and like she is my mom. i absolutely hate it. a chart will not work. i have found that if i want something done, the best thing to do is just do it myself. 

if you are a clean freak, then you need to do the cleaning. 

the best thing to do would be talk to them and come to an agreement about picking up your own stuff, etc. you cant put yourself in a position of nagging them, which a chore chart will do, besides making them feel like they are 6yo.


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

DancingArabian said:


> Maybe take a different approach than you have in the past? We know that the past ways of getting the chores done hasn't been working. Honestly I can't think of a way to keep everyone on top of chores if they're going to be totally unmotivated without being reminded, which is just going to make you come off as a nag.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


That's exactly what I'm trying to do now. A different approach. I've tried being passive aggressive and letting it get dirty [horrid dirty, not just dirty to me]. I've tried asking politely, "Hey, do you think you can vacuum this week?" I've tried, "I feel like I'm the only who does this." The roommate who I'm kicking out I just went outright witch with and took all the dishes away since they couldn't possibly clean them [the latest excuse was, "Yeah, the water stopped working days ago."]

That said, I'm not often rude unless you've been very very rude first. I've never had a tiff with either of the girls and don't ever plan to. We get along pretty well, I just think it would be nice to even out the chores, and I figure right now [bringing in a new roommate] is a good time to try. It will be even more difficult to try and work something out when she's already moved in and settled in her ways, know what I mean?


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

gypsygirl said:


> my roomate wants everything clean, but doesnt want to do the work. i feel like im being ordered around and like she is my mom. i absolutely hate it. a chart will not work. i have found that if i want something done, the best thing to do is just do it myself.
> 
> if you are a clean freak, then you need to do the cleaning.
> 
> the best thing to do would be talk to them and come to an agreement about picking up your own stuff, etc. you cant put yourself in a position of nagging them, which a chore chart will do, besides making them feel like they are 6yo.


Again though, that isn't fair. Why should I have to do ALL the cleaning when we ALL walk on the carpet? Why can't someone else pull out a vacuum every once in awhile? I refuse to believe that expecting them to do it ever is ridiculous.

Picking up after ourselves is already done, but most people don't see vacuuming as picking up after themselves.

As I said a million times, I am more than willing to do more, I'm just over doing it all.


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## gypsygirl (Oct 15, 2009)

then you just have to find people who want to be as clean as you to live with. if they dont want to clean or dont want to clean often, you are probably not going to convince them.


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## ~*~anebel~*~ (Aug 21, 2008)

It sounds totally reasonable to me. If I moved into a place and was told each week I only have to clean 1 thing I would probably give out a wa-hoo! Compared to a whole **** place on your own, that's pie. 

I think that they'll get used to it. And if they don't then oh well. Part of moving out is learning how to clean up after yourself and make time for cleaning without mommy. Only having to vacuum or clean the bathroom or clean the kitchen once a week is, comparatively to real life, nothing.
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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

Yup.....I've always been a neat and clean freak......unfortunately many others do not care nor understand how nice it is to have everything nice and clean.....HOWEVER in saying that, a person can spend their life cleaning and worrying about household duties and chores and miss out on the more important things in life......you are still young and I was just like you in regards to cleaning and had plenty of moments of nearly beating the room mates over the head with the broom..........don't let the cleaning spoil relationships.....

The other day I was walking through my living room and stepped on a Lego piece, you know what I did for the first time in seven years?? (my daughter is now seven, and have a son of 5) I kicked the Lego out of the way and navigated the mess of toys and went to bed.....THAT was the first time in seven years I have left toys on the living room floor overnight......yes it took my kids seven years to wear me down.......and guess what....I slept well that night!


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## Delfina (Feb 12, 2010)

I think you should just come live with me...

Not only does absolutely nobody in my family have a clue how to turn the vacuum cleaner on, they WHINE about the noise when *I* am using it! Don't even get me started on how they acted the last time I cleaned all the carpets and made then stay off until they were dry. You would have thought I was torturing them, not just telling them to stay out of the living room for a few hours.


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

Haha, Delfina! Gladly, if I can bring my two cats and two horses! Lol.

Annabel, I'm glad someone else gets where I'm coming from! I don't think working something out is a big deal, and dividing three things between the three of us is pretty smooth sailing, you know?

New roommate was concerned about "the rules," but the rules are still there without a "chart." She will still be expected to pick up after herself and share the common chores. This just puts order to it.

Muppet, it's not something I stress over a lot. It's just wearing to come back after two days away to a huge mess. I stay so busy I'm not home that often anyway. I just think it would be nice to rotate.

ETA: I also grew up in a household where dishes were done by hand every night and floors were done at least three times a week. We weren't ridiculous about it, life happens, things slide and get messy, but it was clean. It may be foolish to assume that was relatively standard, but I don't think it's asking too much. Especially with three people in a tiny place traipsing around all day. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Joe4d (Sep 1, 2011)

I dont sweep and vacuum, 3 times a month.,, more like a year other than the kitchen. Who is the owner of the property ? Just raise the roommate rent, and consider that your fee for cleaning.


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

Joe4d said:


> I dont sweep and vacuum, 3 times a month.,, more like a year other than the kitchen. Who is the owner of the property ? Just raise the roommate rent, and consider that your fee for cleaning.


We are all renters, no one owns anything. The amount of rent we pay is based on room size [master pays more, smallest room pays the least].


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## Joe4d (Sep 1, 2011)

then why do you have any say so over who does what ? do you have any enforcement options even if you do have an agreement ? 

If the first toys left out 7 years ago went in the garbage, you wouldnt still be stepping on legos. Kids leave stuff laying around specifically because you picked them up.


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

Joe4d said:


> then why do you have any say so over who does what ? do you have any enforcement options even if you do have an agreement ?


What on EARTH are you people getting from my posts to make you think these kinds of comments are warranted?

I'm gonna be a sarcastic witch for a second, and this is not directed at anyone in particular. NO S*$T SHERLOCK THAT I CAN'T MAKE ANYONE DO ANYTHING. DUH. I'm not an idiot, so quit trying to assume that I am one. I can't make them pay the bills either, but that's never gonna stop me from asking them to. I am well aware that the ONLY thing ANY person EVER has to do is die. That's it. So even though everyone with a brain is well aware of the fact that I can't literally make them do anything, I'm still going to ask and see if we can come to an agreement. No one is cleaning anyway, the WORST CASE for this rotation thing is that no one pays attention to it and no one cleans. Well guess what? That's already how it is. It can only get better.

Really, people.


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

Joe4d said:


> then why do you have any say so over who does what ? do you have any enforcement options even if you do have an agreement ?
> 
> If the first toys left out 7 years ago went in the garbage, you wouldnt still be stepping on legos. Kids leave stuff laying around specifically because you picked them up.


Haha after I read my post I figured it might be interpreted that way! Nope I do the trash bag thing! And it works! This particular evening I had sick kids and had just put em to bed without the usual before bed clean up.....and no kids do not leave things laying around because people specifically pick em up.....kids leave things laying around because they don't think like grown ups and don't comprehend orderliness like grown ups.......you have to teach em to tidy up.....it's like wives who do everything for their husbands, they haven't taught their husband to unstrap the couch from his butt and help out.....


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## Delfina (Feb 12, 2010)

Joe4d said:


> I dont sweep and vacuum, 3 times a month.,, more like a year other than the kitchen.


:shock:

You obviously don't live on large acreage with a lot of animals. I end up vacuuming daily if not more often and nobody is allowed to wear shoes in the house. 

Ricci... plenty of room for horses and a couple kitties! Timmy would be in heaven if you brought your girls!


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## Poseidon (Oct 1, 2010)

Sorry, but I'm on the side of no chore list. I have 2 roommates now and we have no "cleaning schedule" or list. We are 3 different people with 3 different standards of what is considered clean. So far, after living with these two for 4 months, I am the only one who has vacuumed anything other than a personal bedroom. It doesn't bother me because it takes all of 10 minutes and I feel accomplished after. 

The girl roommate cleans the kitchen more than I do, but because she prefers it clean. I admit I leave a decent mess in the living room because they tend to hang out in their bedrooms more, but eventually I clean it up on my own. 

The only disagreement I've had with them was that the guy roommate cooks often and sets his spoon on the stove between stirrings and it leaves a mess, then he doesn't wipe it up or rinse off the pans in the sink, so it dries and is impossible to clean. I have snarked about it and it has improved, and his Christmas present is one of those clamps to hold his spoon above the pan. 

In conclusion: My level of cleanliness was compromised. I went "Hey, this is gross. You should clean it next time, that'd be great." It took a couple of times, but problem mostly solved.


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## Faceman (Nov 29, 2007)

Am I the only one that is seeing Joe4d as Jack Klugman and Riccil0ve as Tony Randle?...:rofl:


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

Faceman said:


> Am I the only one that is seeing Joe4d as Jack Klugman and Riccil0ve as Tony Randle?...:rofl:


No idea who those are so I'm not sure at what level of humor or offensiveness I should take to that. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Joe4d (Sep 1, 2011)

20 somethings, too young for that faceman,,, let me translate,,,
Think "2 broke girls", Your the blonde, I'm the brunette.


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## Icrazyaboutu (Jul 17, 2009)

I'm not a very organized/clean person, so just keep that in mind when I give my opinion.
If it was my first time away from nagging parents and chores, I would hate moving in with someone who stuck me with "you gotta do this and that this week on top of cleaning up after yourself." I'm fine with cleaning up after myself, makes sense. But I can go a few months before thinking its time to pull out the vaccum. 
And if you have the shedding cat, I'd assume you'd be the one cleaning up it's hair mess. If I didn't have a pet but was asked to vaccum up the hair from the carpet weekly, I wouldn't. Plain and simple.
If you have the animal and the high standards of cleanliness, you're gonna be the one doing the cleaning. If you don't like it, move in with other clean freaks.
Just my opinion on the matter. But hey, maybe your roommates are cleaner than me.


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

Icrazyaboutu said:


> I'm not a very organized/clean person, so just keep that in mind when I give my opinion.
> If it was my first time away from nagging parents and chores, I would hate moving in with someone who stuck me with "you gotta do this and that this week on top of cleaning up after yourself." I'm fine with cleaning up after myself, makes sense. But I can go a few months before thinking its time to pull out the vaccum.
> And if you have the shedding cat, I'd assume you'd be the one cleaning up it's hair mess. If I didn't have a pet but was asked to vaccum up the hair from the carpet weekly, I wouldn't. Plain and simple.
> If you have the animal and the high standards of cleanliness, you're gonna be the one doing the cleaning. If you don't like it, move in with other clean freaks.
> Just my opinion on the matter. But hey, maybe your roommates are cleaner than me.


Cats aren't shedding right now, and even if they were, the PEOPLE are still traipsing in with dirt and leaves and tracking it all over the apartment. It's not as if the only reason I need to vacuum is because of my cats. And again, I have no problem doing more, just not all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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