# Pain over gain?



## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

Oh, my goodness! So many great responses! Can you all come over for coffee?

I will try to respond to each of you, but first of all many, many thanks! :loveshower:


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

*horselovinguy*

First... _Have you tried a "gaited" horse?_
No, I have not. Having grown up in New England, I had never seen one (in the 1970s...), and I have never seen one in Spain. I have read about them, however, and they do seem like a good option. Perhaps I could look for a barn with gaited horses to try out next summer when I am in the US, although I don't know if there are any breeders in Europe. Must look

Second... _Why are you riding such huge horses?_
First of all, when that's what you've always done, it's hard to break the habit, I guess. My Holsteiner was 18hh, and fit me like a glove. I also feel somewhat ridiculous on a smaller horse, and my legs often hand below the barrel. However, Spanish purebreds are quite rounded in the barrel, which "eats up" a long leg, and I have had good luck with them in the past. Unfortunately, I there are none at the new barn, except the dressage horses owned by another trainer. That is an option I might also explore.

_Ask your friend for help in finding a barn that is "friendly" to you and your abilities, disabilities._
Unfortunately, he has seen my previous abilities, which seem to peek out every now and then. His response is always "I know you can do it!". I also know that I can do it, and I can do it a thousand times better, but that doesn't mean that I _should_ do it. 

Thank you for your reply!


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

*Acadianartist,*

_It is ok to have sore muscles after a ride. It is not ok for you to reawaken past injuries and potentially make them worse._
Unfortunately, in my recovery I have often had a hard time distinguishing between real pain and muscle soreness. I have also found that there is a cumulative effect. Just two weekends ago, I had such inflammation from my left lumbar/hip region down my hamstring to behind the knee, that I was walking with a cane. Total wake-up call. When I told my trainer that I only wanted to work at a walk, he respected that... for one day. I think the other problem is that, as most of his students are in their teens and early twenties, he is not used to working with a "broken " rider.

_Can you do some trail riding instead of lessons?_
I actually love trail riding. I live on a reservoir, and when my trainer was at the local barn, we often rode trails. I also benefited from working at a trot on an incline, as well as cantering on spongy, tilled fields. I miss it terribly, and at the new barn there are no opportunities for trail riding. I know, I know. I need to change barns...


P.S. Love Acadia! We have a cottage in Maine, where I have spent all my summers since I was a newborn.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

*buggy*,

_What do you want to accomplish by riding? Are you doing it to be with horses? *YES!* Is it supposed to be a stress reliever? *YES!* How about to keep you moving? *YES!* Do you love to ride? *YES!* Do you just want to have fun? *YES!*_

Since my accident, I have a greater appreciation for just being with horses, and I tend to take my time (perhaps too much time) grooming them, etc. Also, I know that if I do not keep moving, I will eventually wind up in a wheelchair. Four bones were too far away from each other to heal, to they are held together by fibrotic mass of muscles, ligaments and fascia encompassing the bones. Stretching and using these muscles are a fundamental part to maintain their use.

Over the last two years, I have always set the same daily goals for myself, and none of them actually include riding /equestrian technique or improvement. They are:

1) Not to kill myself
2) Not to hurt myself
3) To have fun

And over the past few months, I have only been meeting the first goal.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

*Avna & Celeste,*

_Get a small gaited horse, keep it in a different barn, and take your present trainer out for lunch a couple times a month._

Yes, I believe that a gaited horse might be a good match, although since I am so big (almost 5'11), I don't know how small to go. Unfortunately, buying another horse is not an option right now as my son starts college in the fall, and my husband is completely against it.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

*TXHorseman,*

_Many people assume spectacular feats with horses should be everyone’s goal. Others find joy in developing subtle communication to influence the movements of their horse._
Yes, right now I would rather work on leg-yields at the walk than anything else. I might try a dressage trainer... but only at a walk.


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## SilverMaple (Jun 24, 2017)

I have some chronic injuries that never really bothered me in the past, but now that I'm approaching 40, I can tell! The other day I slipped on some stairs and gave myself two concussion fractures in my back. I will not be riding for awhile! As I get older, I've also found that my goals have changed. I don't care about showing anymore. I don't need to do the fast and exciting stuff. I just want to 'escape' my everyday life/job/stresses for a few hours and enjoy my horses-- if I ride, great. If I just groom them, do groundwork, or simply sit in the pasture under a tree and watch them, that's fine, too. I used to not worry in the slightest if I thought I might get bucked off or flipped over on or if the horse might fall. Now I do. I don't want to get hurt, I want to enjoy myself. 

On a whim I bought a little black Paso Fino this summer who a friend of mine had outbid the kill buyer for. He's a basket case, but he's a sweet boy, and we're slowly working through his immense fear issues and he's just a gem of a horse. When he's in gait, he's butter smooth to ride. I didn't really intend to get a gaited horse, but I'm glad I did. I also have a couple of quarter horses that I co-own with a friend, and they're great, too. The differences in gait between a big warmblood and a smaller stock horse are immense, and people have already suggested gaited horses. If gaited isn't available, how about a Quarter Horse or other smaller breed? There are quite a few in Europe, so shouldn't be too hard to find. Even though they trot, the amount of power you absorb through your back and hips in the trot of a good stock horse vs. a warmblood is far less, and my mom, who due to back pain can't ride a trot, rides her paint mare at a walk and lope only. She's had no issues and enjoys herself. She's looking into gaited horses, but loves the laid-back, quiet attitude of her mare, so is happy where she's at for now. 

Sit down and have a heart to heart with your coach. Explain how much you appreciate, and always will, what he/she has done for you, but that your goals have changed. If he/she can help you meet your new goals, great. If they can't, then there's no harm in changing barns or finding a horse you can ride without pain and still keeping in touch. A good coach will understand, and if they don't, they aren't the person you thought they were and better that's learned now than in the future.

Chronic pain is a thing. I've found that my multitude of little injuries over the years now means I feel it if I ride a really rough horse, or in a saddle that doesn't fit me. That's ok. There's nothing wrong with accepting that we're growing older and our bodies need some TLC in order to keep enjoying horses. I'm actually considering getting a draft horse and doing more driving rather than riding if I end up with chronic pain from these fractures, which is likely. We shall see. 

My best friend, who for years has done team penning and roping had a heart-to-heart with himself over the summer and realized that while he loves horses, he really doesn't look forward to riding or competing much anymore. He sold all but his 'heart horse' and bought a couple of miniature horses. He's enjoying himself immensely--- he still gets to enjoy horses, and there's no pressure to ride. If he does feel like riding, he can throw a saddle on his old horse and mosey down the road, but Duke is retired, and no more hard, fast work. He took some flak for his decision from some of the guys, but no regrets on his part. He says he looks out at the minis and his gelding in the pasture in the morning while he gets ready for work and loves having horses again, rather than simply wondering when he was going to get time to ride and train and the like. You don't have to ride to enjoy horses, so do what works for you.


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## SilverMaple (Jun 24, 2017)

Spanish Rider said:


> *Avna & Celeste,*
> 
> _Get a small gaited horse, keep it in a different barn, and take your present trainer out for lunch a couple times a month._
> 
> Yes, I believe that a gaited horse might be a good match, although since I am so big (almost 5'11), I don't know how small to go. Unfortunately, buying another horse is not an option right now as my son starts college in the fall, and my husband is completely against it.


5'11" is not that tall in the grand scheme of things. There are plenty of gaited and stock horses out there that would suit your height just fine.  English riders tend to get used to big horses and want anyone over 5" tall on a 16+hh horse, and western/trail riders tend to appreciate the advantages of horses 14 - 15 hands in height. My dad is 6'1" and rides a 15.2 hand Appaloosa and looks fine on him.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

*Golden Horse, my HERO!*

_"we agree that I will give 100% for as long as I can."_
This is very admirable. Unfortunately, I tend to fall apart very quickly, and I do not often reach 100%, whatever that is now (still not sure). My trainer thinks I do not have a positive attitude, and I can't really tell anymore.

What are your classes typically like? In length? walk/trot/canter? more walk? less trot?

_"You should not push beyond what you are comfortable with, physically or mentally"_
I had a panic attack in class on Tuesday, and I can't even remember the last time I left the barn with a smile on my face.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

*ApuetsoT,*

_If you still want to jump, you can find one who has a good canter and teach it to jump,_

No, that's not a goal of mine. I haven't jumped for 25 years!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Spanish Rider said:


> *Golden Horse, my HERO!*
> 
> "we agree that I will give 100% for as long as I can."
> This is very admirable. Unfortunately, I tend to fall apart very quickly, and I do not often reach 100%, whatever that is now (still not sure). My trainer thinks I do not have a positive attitude, and I can't really tell anymore.
> ...


LOL, 100% is 100% of whatever there is that day....

I hate your trainer, I'm so so sorry that you do not have one who is supportive for you. I have to remember again and again to give thanks that I lucked into having one who has been so good to me, and for me...

It really makes me sad to read that you don't leave with a smile, so often in my journey I arrived in tears and left with a smile, when I was battling the fear demons....now my worst demon is the pain one, and that can be harder, but once again THANK YOU COACH, for helping me feel like I have achieved, even when I can't ride for the full time..

I wish we could all come help you out...


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## ApuetsoT (Aug 22, 2014)

Spanish Rider said:


> *ApuetsoT,*
> 
> _If you still want to jump, you can find one who has a good canter and teach it to jump,_
> 
> No, that's not a goal of mine. I haven't jumped for 25 years!


Oh, I misread your op then. Said you were riding jumpers at a junper barn.

Of you can't find a gaited horse in your area, look for a 'leg mover'. They tend to be easy rides since they don't have a lot of back motion. Smoother.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

*bsms,*

_I take Motrin for my back before a ride as well as after._
I admit I am a bit hard-headed when it comes to pain management. I do not usually take anything. Just one week after my accident, I stopped taking metamizole (pain killer banned in US - don't know why) because I knew that if I felt too good, I would overexert myself. I have a hard time sitting down, and I am constantly on the go. Likewise, if I take something before riding, I would probably go all-out, and get myself into trouble! 

_going off the trail and across the raw desert_
Your terrain looks very similar to mine, actually. 

_The "diamond" that matters is the one that matters to you._
Thank you for this. I will try to remember it.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

Thank you, Golden. (Crying now...)


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

*trailhorserider,*

_The trainer doesn't seem to understand it's not mental problem, it's a physical one! _

I know, that is my feeling also. We have worked nearly daily together for years, and I think he is having a hard time accepting the "new" me. But, he is aging, too, so perhaps he is having a hard time accepting his new self also (he recently stopped jumping).

_yes, please don't quit riding if you enjoy it just because someone is pushing you to ride beyond your physical comfort level or ride horses that just aren't comfortable for you._

Actually after Thursday's class I cleaned out my locker, and took my mounting block/stool home. I said nothing, but my intention was never to go back. I really don't know what I am going to do, but for now I have to let my body rest.

_sometimes the saddle can also affect your body._

True. I do not always use the same saddle, but all the saddles I use are jumping saddles. This summer, when I was riding a smaller mare in the US, I also used a dressage saddle, and I believe the longer "retro" leg placement (as well as the smaller, smoother horse) did me a world of good. If I continue, perhaps I will try class with the dressage trainer, as his horses are small (but hotter) and, of course, he has dressage saddles. It will take me a while to find the right trainer/horse/saddle combination, but I won't find it if I don't try.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

*mmshiro,*

_what's the payoff that makes you do it anyway?_

I suppose I still do it because I still have a desire to be who I was, and achieve what I did. It is very difficult, and painful, to accept one's limitations, especially when no one else can see them and they keep encouraging you. If I had been left paraplegic in the accident, no one would expect me to return to my former level of riding. No one would think I was a failure. Many would help me accept my limitations, my "new normal". 

On the outside, however, I still look the same before the accident. Or even better/healthier because my posture is now flawless because I concentrate on holding myself that way. So, it is normal for everyone to expect me to be the same. But I am not. I still have 5 broken bones in my back. No one knows that, though, because I have no physical scars. I never even had a bruise, as my bleeding was all internal. Thus, I am the only one who can determine what I can and cannot do, which is very variable on a daily, and even hourly, basis.

_You did not say you are a sucker for a tall horse_

No, I have simply always ridden tall horses.

_why do you sacrifice your well-being to riding faster gaits?_

Because, that's what I did. And I did it well. Still do, and it's exhilarating. I need to define a frequency and period of time that would be acceptable, I guess, but only I can define what is right. Again, difficult.

_Get the horse and the horse activity that gets you exactly what you need from your interaction with the horse (and that includes a horse that enjoys interacting with you the same way)._

I will keep trying.


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## Spanish Rider (May 1, 2014)

*Silver Maple,*

_gave myself two concussion fractures in my back._
Oh, my. Please take care of yourself.

_If I just groom them, do groundwork, or simply sit in the pasture under a tree and watch them, that's fine, too._
That is wonderful. As I no longer have a horse, I can only do what I am allowed to.

_how about a Quarter Horse or other smaller breed?_
Yes, I have seen some for sale in Spain. Another good option.

_due to back pain can't ride a trot_
I am frustrated with not being able to trot right now, but I believe it is because of the size of the horses.

_doing more driving rather than riding if I end up with chronic pain from these fractures_
I feel the same. However, I also know someone who, because of back pain and affected leg strength, was not able to brake the cart with a draft horse. Personally, I would be interested in a pair of minis.

_He took some flak for his decision from some of the guys, _
I understand completely. I mainly ride with men: trainers, grooms, fellow riders. There are more of a "pick yourself up and dust yourself off" bunch. It was because of this wisdom that I drove myself home after the accident, then 1 hour to and from school to pick up my kids, and did not get to the hospital until 24h later because the guys told me to "toughen up" and that, if I could walk, I was fine.

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and for taking the time to write such a lengthy response. I sincerely hope you recover well from your fall!


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