# How to know when to give up and sell your horse



## Puddintat (Jul 24, 2010)

I've had my horse, Dancer, for almost 3 years. I love him to pieces but I'm afraid that we are not a good pair and it breaks my heart.

I am green and I know that. When I went looking for a horse I was looking for a quiet, mild mannered horse. I was trying to stay away from green and green make black and blue kind of thing. Anyway, Dancer seemed to be perfect.

When he started to gain weight he developed more personality and a little more spunk and that was fine. However, I became more and more unhappy with where I was boarding for several reasons and moved him. At this new place his real personality has been coming out.

He is a sweet horse but he is reactive and has a hard head. I try my hardest to reprimand him immediately and don't give in but its hard when he scares me. For instance, he is very barn sour and after a trail ride I always try to get him to walk past the barn before we go back and finish. He always tries to pitch a fit and starts crow hopping and backing up fast into a ditch which scares the bejeezus out of me. 8 times out of 10 he wins which just makes it worse for the next time. He does this to pretty much everyone that rides him and not just me.

Here lately the only time I feel comfortable riding him is when I have my lessons. That's all fine and dandy but I want to be able to trail ride him. 

I have a guy coming out to train him for a month to see if that will help. (He himself even said that he is hard headed.) And I will continue my lessons.

Sorry if this is whiney. Just wondering if anyone else has had this type of situation before. I was really picturing him being a forever horse but not so sure. Doesn't make sense, which I hate to say, financially for me to keep paying for a horse that is being wasted away in a field.


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

can u try making it uncomfortable when back at the barn? like dont instantly put him back in the paddock or stall and feed him, but rather, make him wait, lunge him,

so trying to make trails fun and going back home not so fun


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## JLane1 (Sep 26, 2012)

Dont let it get you down! Sounds like your trying to do the right thing, I think the training is a good idea. The biggest thing though is now, and especially when you get him back is to not let him get away with being unruly. Dont be afraid to drop back to a snaffel and get a crop and teach him that throwing a fit is not acceptble. If you can ride out the crow hops id spin him around and give him a good whop when he trys to back and try to continue on. I dont want to sound mean, but some horses are just pushy. Make it easy to do the right thing, and hard to do the wrong thing.


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## CowboyBob (Feb 11, 2013)

you have some good advice, it sounds like you are trying to work this out. I would talk to your trainer about how much of your horses problems were there before you got him and how much is yours to own. If your trainer thinks you are doing a good job and learning then keep him and learn. because you sell him and get another horse you will in the end, end up with the same type problems. Now if your trainer thinks it's the horse then remember there are lots of good horses out there. Sell him and get a better one to learn on. But it doesn't sound like you should be thinking to much about that yet.
Good luck keep riding keep learning.


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## TBforever (Jan 26, 2013)

i am a beginner on a 7 yr old ottb and only off the track for less then a yr.

home is where horses are comfortable, u need to make it uncomfortable, so the horse understands and knows hes gunna be worked at home, and on trails its relax time

ALOT even well trained beginner horses have a tendency to rush home and get really excited

this horse can teach u so much!, it was miover who gave me more confidents
it can go both ways, he can permantly lose ur confidents or he can gain ur confidents.

see when i ride tom who is a 30 yr old quarter horse i know i can do w/e with him and he wont put a foot wrong, where as with miover i know my bounderies, and i llearn horse language alot more on miover then tom

to me if i stayed on tom became an intermediate rider, id be back to a beginner on a more forward moving horse, if that makes sence,

take ur experiance now as a learning curb,

what helps me is if miover chucks a tanti, i argue with him and tell him go on do it mate, and that oddly enough boost my confidents lol some how but works for me hehehe


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## Puddintat (Jul 24, 2010)

Thanks guys.


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

That's an unfortunate situation you're in. It is very frustrating to find what you think is a good match only to find later it may not be. That being said, almost any horse will occasionally test the boundaries. I'll bet there's not a person in this forum that hasn't gone home from the barn wondering who that horse was they rode today. They just seem to have this dark sense of humor that way. I'm hoping the trainer not only trains your horse, but also teaches you how to maintain the horse's training at the same time, and gets you some of your confidence back working with him. If not, you will at least have done everything necessary to make the decision that's right for you.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

It might help if most of his grain is cut out and feed more hay. Horses that are trail ridden a few hours week don't need grain. Be sure to watch the trainer like a hawk and let him/her know you wish to partake, hands on learning.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

This is certainly disheartening for you to deal with. I know you were excited and learned a lot when you first got him. But, if you are really not enjoying him, and you don't have someone who can help you change this, then I think you should look for a horse that is more mild mannered. Not all horses become barn sour, even with a green rider. and you're not THAT green, anymore.

But, if you are a fearful rider by nature, (and there's plenty of them, folks who are fearful but still want to ride and challenge themselves, within limits), there are horses that are better matches for such a personality. Riding a horse that you don't have to fight with is such a nice thing. Some people like the challenge of the "fight", but some don't, and there's no shame in that.


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## Light (Mar 4, 2012)

So, I got my first horse about 1 1/2 years ago. She was 18yrs old and was given to me. 

She was like robot horse for the first few weeks till I got her in shape and started to ride her etc. I also moved barns. I went through trainers and listened to people who meant well but didn't know. 

I did stupid things like take her out on trail by myself. She had not been on trail before. From there on the time we spent together became hell for both of us. Me loseing my temper and her confused and reactive. She didn't trust me after some of my meltdowns and I didn't trust her after running down the middle of the street and having the police have to stop traffic etc. 

We had some really bad experiences and she wound up getting hurt bad because of my ignorance. I wound up afraid of her and afraid of what was going to happen. I knew it was all a huge mistake and I felt guilty and angry and fearful myself. She felt the same way, minus the anger and guilt. 

She got to the point where she would toss "trainers" etc. With me she would power backwards when I asked her to go foward. She would sit down like a dog and she would do a cat stretch all without being asked. 

I kept telling myself that one of us was going to die and I was miserable as was she. 

Thankfully I finally found a trainer who would come to the ranch and teach both of us. It was only once a week but it helped so much when she had us spend the first two months mostly on groundwork. Who knew it could make such a difference. 

The trainer got me to understand my horse in a different way. I was so angry at her for not being the horse I wanted her to be that I am sure it showed in everything I did. I was frustrated with her embarrassing me constantly and I also felt like a failure. Had my horse not been the sweetest horse in the world she would have been within her right to kick me in the head. I mean absolutely no horse will respecet or follow a person who was giving off the energy I was. 

My trainer helped me so much and the ground work was the turning point for us. I learned that my horse was not acting out of anything other than confusion and fear etc. She didn't hate me. I also had to change things like saddles, ride without a bit etc. New vets etc. change farrier, change living conditions, diet etc. I learned that when my sensitive horse is learning something new I have to be very clear and calm in what I do to show her. If she gets flustered I have to stop before that happens and go back to what she does know and end the lesson after she does that right. That is what my trainer told me. 

I think if you have the right trainer you can really discover allot. I learned so much about my horse. I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. When I drive up she winnies and runs to the gate to see me. She lets me get on bareback and she self collects and chomps like she has a bit even though I ride her without one. I must stop myself because I will go on forever about my horse. 

What I think is that if you are up for the work and want to really try, you need the right trainer. Not every trainer is good with every horse. Really be ready to get rid of any baggage you have about your horse. Start from scratch with help and I am sure you will have a great horse in the end. But what do I know, I have only had experience with mine. 

If you don't want to do the work and take the time, which is fine, you should rehome the horse as quickly as you can in a good home so as not to make you both have to waste more time on each other. 

Hope this helps some.


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## faye (Oct 13, 2010)

Can I ask how long youve had him and how long you have been at this new barn? Why did you move from the last barn, what is different about this current barn to your last one? (I'm not just being nosey here I do actualy have a thought about what may have happened).

I'm one of those that loves the challenge of a difficult horse (as those who have followed my progress with Reeco) but sometime I do wish I had something easier, that said I am no where near being classed as a novice.

Sometimes you have got to take a step back and admit it isnt the right horse for you, sometimes it could be a change in environment that has upset the horse. They take time to settle into new places and routines, and we are not talking a couple of days here we are talking up to 6 months!!


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## Puddintat (Jul 24, 2010)

faye said:


> Can I ask how long youve had him and how long you have been at this new barn? Why did you move from the last barn, what is different about this current barn to your last one? (I'm not just being nosey here I do actualy have a thought about what may have happened).
> 
> I'm one of those that loves the challenge of a difficult horse (as those who have followed my progress with Reeco) but sometime I do wish I had something easier, that said I am no where near being classed as a novice.
> 
> Sometimes you have got to take a step back and admit it isnt the right horse for you, sometimes it could be a change in environment that has upset the horse. They take time to settle into new places and routines, and we are not talking a couple of days here we are talking up to 6 months!!


I have had Dancer for almost 3 years. I moved him because he wasn't getting his supplements like he was supposed to, even after talking to the BO about it. He also wasn't being fed like I asked. I was paying for a stall and he was never in his stall. The BO's horses would be in a stall but not Dancer. (This was especially important in the summer because he burns) He was always skinny. Since I moved him he is at a good weight and I am happy with his care. We have been there for 15 months.

I think that now that he's healthy his true personality has come out and he feels good. I also know that he probably thinks he is on vacation. He probably wasn't ridden in 3 months from a combination of weather and we had a family situation which caused me to not be able to ride.

I'm really going to try and work on our relationship. I'm hoping that between his training, our lessons, and actual ride time we can repair our relationship and he can see me as a leader and not just a pushover.


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## Horsequeen08 (Jun 24, 2007)

I would personally consider selling him. Horses are suppose to be fun. We ride because we love it and we love with with the horses. I myself have been in sort of a similar situation with a horse that was beyond my experience at the time. I kept telling myself he would get better and I could do this, but I was barely riding. And it wasn't fun anymore. That was the drawing point for me, when it became less fun and more of a hassle and stress to go out there and work with that stubborn horse, while we didn't get along anyway. It was a bad decision to get him in the first place, but I was horse-less and he was free. 

I think training is a good idea, but I'd also not let go fully of the idea of selling him. It sounds like he just needs someone who is a good match for him training-wise who can teach him right from wrong, but if this one issue is solved, what about anything else he might throw at you? Thinking past one issue to the whole picture is what helped me. I thought I loved my horse, but I loved the idea of him more than him himself, as I didn't enjoy being with him. 

I hope you are happy with whatever choice you make.


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## nvr2many (Jan 18, 2011)

Sorry I have not read all the post yet, but thought of this that may help...........

http://www.horseforum.com/horse-training/playing-hero-when-stick-when-realize-50485/


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## Puddintat (Jul 24, 2010)

Thanks everyone.


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