# LOL - Hilarious things non-horsey people say



## SallyRC123

I showed my boyfriend this picture, and this is what he said: 'Yeah, I've seen it - your horse denied it'


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


I think he meant, refused. =P What other funny things have you heard non-horsey people say?


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## RedTree

My friend came with me to the horses once to help feed.
She got there and was freaking out saying he was massive (hes 15.2hh) and the next day she was saying how he charged out her lol he was walking the slowest possible walk everrr


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## Jacksmama

A friend was discussing cleaning a geldings sheath, a man asked her "But what do geldings in the wild do?"
She had to tell him there are no geldings in the wild......


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## ISAgirl

I just live how non horsey people giggle or pull disturbed faces when the horse they are riding goes to the toilet and were just like meh!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## justpeachy14

I was helping with a camp and a mom came up to me looking scared and said, " That horse out there is laying down, is she okay.?"

I said, "Yes shes fine, just sunbathing but thanks."


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## Speed Racer

How about when people get ask you why your horses are 'blindfolded'?

Um, yeah. It's a flymask. Yes, they can see. Yes, really.


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## upupandflyaway1

I love when your talking about shows or something and their like "so whens your next race" *sigh*


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## barrelracer892

I hate when people come to ride at the stables I work at and they think they can make the horse go by shaking the reins up and down and going YAHH!! Even after giving them a riding demonstration before they get on a horse.


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## FlitterBug

I was at a gas station one time and I had my APHA dun gelding in my straight load trailer, you could just see him over the top. Some lady saw his dorsal stripe and she said "Oh, he is beautiful, is he part mule?"


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## MysticsAbi

Jacksmama said:


> A friend was discussing cleaning a geldings sheath, a man asked her "But what do geldings in the wild do?"
> She had to tell him there are no geldings in the wild......


Hahaha...now thats a funny one!!LOL



FlitterBug said:


> I was at a gas station one time and I had my APHA dun gelding in my straight load trailer, you could just see him over the top. Some lady saw his dorsal stripe and she said "Oh, he is beautiful, is he part mule?"


 
Did you just go...um...NO! Or maybe just start laughing at her!lol (You DO have a beautiful horse though!!)


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## maura

"Why are your horses blindfolded? Can they see out of those things?"

However, my pig fat horses spend a lot of time in the spring and fall with fly masks *and* grazing muzzles...you should hear the questions I get about that...just once, I'm going to answer "Oh, THAT horse. He's criminally insane, those are restraints." or "Him? We call him Hannibal Lechter."

All time favorite - 

Had a cute true black large pony in my barn for sale, lovely local hunt/show/pony club pony, good first pony. Clueless newbie parents and beginner child come try him early in the fall, in full coat, when he resembles a stuffed animal. Come back a couple of weeks later, after I've clipped him. Pony is gorgeous, sleek, fit, you can actually see his conformation and he is the typical gunmetal matte black of a clipped horse. Parents take one look at pony and give me the dirtiest look in the history of horse dealers and say accusingly "YOU MEAN THAT WASN'T HIS REAL COLOR??????????"


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## barrelracer892

Oh, forgot one, I was taking out a trail ride and was riding one of the new horses in training in the front of the ride, and when we came across a creek we have to wait for all the horses to get done drinking. Well the horse wasn't thrilled about waiting, so he just did a little jig in place, tossing his head up every now and then. The guy asked, "is he buckin on ya?" then his horse starts dancing because the horse I was riding was, and he goes "WHOAAA now son!! Quit yur buckin!" I didn't tell him the horses weren't bucking.

Haha.


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## MaggiStar

My pony was in a brand new bright blue rug one time and he broke out of his paddock into my garden my cousin saw this and rang me to tell me there was a blue horse running around my gaarden.......................

I told my friend i was going to a competition in France and she asked me will my horse swim over or how will it i get it there like seriously????


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## Poco1220

How about the people who do a light jog on your horse and then tell everyone they galloped? lol.


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## SavvyHill

I was riding down the road to my barn one day and my mom was driving, and we were passing other barns' pastures, and she looks out the window and sees a paint rolling, and is like, "Oh my God! I've never seen a horse give itself a dust-bath like that before! He's like a hamster!" I was like, "Yeah, mom, that's called rolling." xD


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## purplefoal

My friend was riding one of the horses I lease. He kicked the horse, who started to trot. My friend fell off and for years asked me, "Remember when Ringo took off on me??"


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## smrobs

My favorites are the ones who fall off at the trot or the lope and then swear for the rest of eternity that they were "bucked off just like at the rodeo" LOL.

I made the mistake of letting a novice rider get on Dobe one time. I told him that Dobe was very sensitive and you only have to move just the slightest bit to get him to go and whatever you do, DO NOT squeeze with your legs. He says "Yeah, yeah. I've ridden a couple of horses. I know how to do it." Well, he proceeds to get on, clamp down with both legs, and start yanking on Dobe's mouth when he kicked up into a lope. He keeps his legs clamped and keeps yanking and Dobe, poor soul, was so confused that he started crow-hopping and the guy fell off. Needless to say, he got his butt chewed off and he is not welcome to even pet any of my horses now.


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## HorseOfCourse

When I fell off Summer my uncle told me how he wanted to shoot her "because he wouldnt have any of his animals hurting anyone"

It wasnt her fault..
The saddest part is he grew up riding on a big ranch in Kentucky.


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## AngelWithoutWings54

Ahaha. I had just fed my horse a carrot and my one friend who was at the barn went to pet him, and I guess he thought she had a carrot, because he lipped at her. You know, where the don't bite, they just kind of search with their lips? Well, she screamed and for the rest of the week she went around school saying how my horse "savagely attacked her." lol.


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## dee

My brother is not now, nor has he ever been, a horse person. (Odd, because he married a girl who was _very_ horsey). When he was about 16, he decided to try to ride my cousin's horse. He clambers on - not a pretty sight - and picks up the reins, then says: "Go horsie." The horse just stood there, and my brother asks "Where's the accelerator?"

Guess you just had to be there.


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## BrewCrew

Ha ha this thread is funny.  (ooo and Flitter, your horse is gorgeous!!!!)

When we do riding lessons, we always use terms like, "ask your horse to stop" or "ask your horse to back up". It's always so funny when the people actually ask the horse "stop, Gypsy!" or "Nadeyus, turn!".....


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## Silvera

I really like it when people are selling a horse and in the ad they put "he's a 15.7hh horse". Ummm...you mean 16.3hh?


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## A knack for horses

I really love it when stuck up children who think they know everything about horses would ride in my lesson time. I would sit on my horse and they would walk around the arena saying "trot ^insert horse name, go faster". And then when they finally figure out how to get their horse to trot, they start freaking out saying their horse just keeps running off on them. 

And my responce to these kids is always, "Don't let him"


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## Paint Mom

I haven't read all the posts, but one I hate is...

"Isn't that saddle going to fall off? Look at how loose you have it."

They are reffering to the back cinch!


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## corinowalk

We have a barn full of super sleepers. They all love to sunbathe. We had a humane officer show up at our farm a few years back and asked to see the horses. We are a rescue and didn't ask any questions. We figured someone had turned us in because we have 'a barn full of half dead horses'...people who report need to look a little deeper before picking up the phone! This time, he came because they got a call that we had half a dozen dead horses laying in a field. The person was so adamate that the horses were dead, he called a dozen times! We all laughed so hard...the officer included!


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## Delfina

My grandfather and his girlfriend were visiting us and my hubby comes walking in with a pink lunge whip I had bought that morning and a questioning look, so I say it's a lunge whip for my horse. My grandfather's girlfriend said she rode horses as a kid but she NEVER hit her horse with a whip and looks horrified. So I explain that it's not used to hit the horse, I put my horse on a long line and hold it behind her so that she'll go in a circle around me. Girlfriend says "oh, when I was a kid, we put a saddle on the horse and rode it.....we never did these newfangled things like making the horse run around with nobody on it"


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## SavvyHill

Delfina said:


> My grandfather and his girlfriend were visiting us and my hubby comes walking in with a pink lunge whip I had bought that morning and a questioning look, so I say it's a lunge whip for my horse. My grandfather's girlfriend said she rode horses as a kid but she NEVER hit her horse with a whip and looks horrified. So I explain that it's not used to hit the horse, I put my horse on a long line and hold it behind her so that she'll go in a circle around me. Girlfriend says "oh, when I was a kid, we put a saddle on the horse and rode it.....we never did these newfangled things like making the horse run around with nobody on it"


HAH! That's hilarious.


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## Poco1220

corinowalk said:


> We have a barn full of super sleepers. They all love to sunbathe. We had a humane officer show up at our farm a few years back and asked to see the horses. We are a rescue and didn't ask any questions. We figured someone had turned us in because we have 'a barn full of half dead horses'...people who report need to look a little deeper before picking up the phone! This time, he came because they got a call that we had half a dozen dead horses laying in a field. The person was so adamate that the horses were dead, he called a dozen times! We all laughed so hard...the officer included!


On that topic - a friend of ours had the cops called out on him because a lady INSISTED his 3 draft horses in the field were on fire. It was a colder day and he had just put them out to field after working them so you could see the heat coming off them. She was freaking out about putting them out before they burn to death!!!!


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## drafteventer

These are great!
I was riding Remi at my house and my neighbor (who is a older lady) comes down and starts to watch. When I walk out of the ring to go up on the trail she asks me what breed he was. I said he was a draft horse. When she heard that she had the most shocked look on her face and says "You can RIDE those?! I thought they could only pull plows!!?"
I laughed soo hard about that.


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## Silvera

lol...i had the SPCA called on me once, it was winter and some "horse lady" called them saying that we where horrible because we left 2 of our babies out all night and it was freezing. It was only like -10 Celcious and they where both wolly mammoths, they didn't even look like horses because of the hair on them. Suffice it to say we where fine, they where fine and we had shelters for all the horses.


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## sullylvr

Hahaha these are hilarious!! Okay so one time I brought my friend to the barn to watch me ride my horse ozzie, while we were visiting a different horse across the fence, she accidentally rested her arm on the hotwire. She proceeded to freek out and scream and now tells people she got "electrocuted" hehe
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jamesqf

BrewCrew said:


> When we do riding lessons, we always use terms like, "ask your horse to stop" or "ask your horse to back up". It's always so funny when the people actually ask the horse "stop, Gypsy!" or "Nadeyus, turn!".....


I think you might be on this. Did you ever explain to them just what you mean when you say "ask"? Then why do you think it's funny when they do exactly what you, the instructor, asks them to do?

For that matter, why is it funny to expect a horse to respond to voice commands?


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## MN Tigerstripes

This isn't a funny thing that was said, but a funny thing a non-horse person did

Friend in HS came over to go riding. Flame is bareback (she's like 15 hands or so, maybe a little shorter) so I tell him how I can give him a leg up. He's like 6'2", so it shouldn't be hard for him to get on..... BUT he wants to do it "his way." His way is to back up about 30 feet and RUN as fast as he can towards her and jump on. Welll he launched himself right over the top of the horse. She turns and looks at him like "Dumbass" and I couldn't stop laughing. After that we did it my way. 10 years later he's my boyfriend and still doesn't want to listen to me when I tell him how to mount.


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## ilyTango

MN Tigerstripes said:


> This isn't a funny thing that was said, but a funny thing a non-horse person did
> 
> Friend in HS came over to go riding. Flame is bareback (she's like 15 hands or so, maybe a little shorter) so I tell him how I can give him a leg up. He's like 6'2", so it shouldn't be hard for him to get on..... BUT he wants to do it "his way." His way is to back up about 30 feet and RUN as fast as he can towards her and jump on. Welll he launched himself right over the top of the horse. She turns and looks at him like "Dumbass" and I couldn't stop laughing. After that we did it my way. 10 years later he's my boyfriend and still doesn't want to listen to me when I tell him how to mount.


HAHAHA! That's funny.


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## Rowzy

These are all really funny .

Once when I was out on a trail ride some HUGE guy (like 6' 6" or something) pointed at Gypsy who is about 13.2-14 hands and said "Thats a HUGE horse!"


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## smrobs

I love those people who have never seen a horse in their lives that are absolutely terrified of them because "They are so big and there is no possible way that someone so small could control them".


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## corinowalk

Heres a funny story about non horsey people.

In HS my friend cathy wanted to come riding. She had taken 2 lessons when she was 6 and told me that she could teach me a few things about riding (I was already competing)

So I put her on the quietest, dead broke horse in the world. My old QH couldnt hurt a fly! He was trying his best to go slow with her...walking and hesitating to trot. So she says 'horses like this need to know whos boss' and kicks him hard...he jumps into a hesitant half canter. She stayed on, but peed her pants. Ruined my saddle! I still laugh about it today!


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## smrobs

O,o. Omg.


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## Cowgirl140ty

My horses stay in one strand of electric... when people come over they cant believe that they stay in the one strand. Well one guy said "Well they must be some baby horses... it cant shock that bad.." so I told him to go ahead and touch it. And his dumbass really did. His arm went numb (I have a 20 mile charger on 5 acres). So now he tells people that im cruel and keep my horses behind an electric fence.


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## Sissimut-icehestar

When my friend saw my horse after a while "wow, did he always have white in his face?" (my horse has a big star and a snip). I explained to her that markings don't just appear.

Another friend of mine rode a horse at a horse rental and his horse walked to the side of the road and put his head down to eat. He took maybe a few steps but mostly stayed still but my friend insists that the horse tried to buck him off. :lol:


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## Ridehorses99

I love the people who say they can ride and before they get on a horse they ask, "How fast can this horse go?" I always reply, "Faster than you need him to go." The minute they get in the saddle and the horse starts walking, the first thing they want to know is how to slow the horse down. He only has 1 speed slower, and that's a stop.


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## Speed Racer

My heart horse was a bay, purebred Arabian gelding.

I had him in the crossties grooming him one day, when another boarder's BF (I don't board anymore) came wandering up and asked what he was.

When I told him Arabian, he said, "An Arabian, huh? When is he going to turn white?"

I told him, "He won't gray out, he's a bay and will stay this color."

He said, "Well, then he can't be a _real_ Arabian, 'cause all of them turn white!"

I gave him a strange look and told him, "No, Arabians aren't all gray. They really do come in different colors."

Dipstick continued to insist that I couldn't possibly have a 'real' (purebred) Arabian, 'cause he'd read somewhere that all of them turned white, and I must have gotten ripped off.

At that point I just gave him a, 'You're a total dumbass and I'm done with this conversation' look, unhooked my horse, and walked away shaking my head.


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## palominolover

MN Tigerstripes said:


> This isn't a funny thing that was said, but a funny thing a non-horse person did
> 
> Friend in HS came over to go riding. Flame is bareback (she's like 15 hands or so, maybe a little shorter) so I tell him how I can give him a leg up. He's like 6'2", so it shouldn't be hard for him to get on..... BUT he wants to do it "his way." His way is to back up about 30 feet and RUN as fast as he can towards her and jump on. Welll he launched himself right over the top of the horse. She turns and looks at him like "Dumbass" and I couldn't stop laughing. After that we did it my way. 10 years later he's my boyfriend and still doesn't want to listen to me when I tell him how to mount.



i have a similar story, a little girl in one of my riding lessons tried to jump on the horse, by flinging herself onto his back XD it didn't work very well, he was like 15h and she was like 4 feet XD


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## HorseSavvy

upupandflyaway1 said:


> I love when your talking about shows or something and their like "so whens your next race" *sigh*


This happens a lot to me xDD or everyone assumes that I either jump or barrel race. I do neither. 

These are flipping hilarious! I love it!!


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## FlitterBug

One time we had family over and my uncle from TX eyeballed my gelding out behind the house. He asked me if anyone had ever jumped on him from behind before, I told him that one of my friends that is a roper had done it when we were trail riding double.

Well, my uncle, in his mid 50s at the time, and complete football player jock type, decides that he can do it, so he spends all afternoon walking out where the horse was, sizing him up from the sides, putting his hands up on his rump, he'd walk inside, go out, do it again, computing in his head how this could work. Finally, he wants to try it. He doesn't just take two steps and hop up like my friend did, he gets a 40' running start down a small hill towards this geldings hind end. The gelding, a little too smart for his own good, watched my uncle come charging at his rump, waited until my uncle was in superman pose in the air right behind him, and took one step to the side. He wasn't the least bit afraid of the man charging at him, and after that one step, he just stood their and looked at my uncle face down in the grass. The whole family was falling over laughing, so my uncle, never to be beat, decides to try it again, he just timed it wrong the first time so he thought. Well, gelding has this down now, and after the second face plant with the horse standing next to him, my uncle admitted defeat.....


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## Ridehorses99

I also love the sale ads that say "10 year old filly for sale" or "Gelded stud horse for sale".


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## SuprisedLove

SallyRc123 - I was cracking up at this > 'Yeah, I've seen it - your horse denied it' I could soo see this one happening haha


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## BarrelracingArabian

ahh my favorite 
a few years back i had a grey mustang gelding ..we had just ran out of hay that morning nd were picking up hay on the way home that night. Well our neighbors decided to call animal control nd say our horses were severly emaciated and that we didnt provide feed or water..well the a.c comes ou nd looks at my MUSTANG and leaves a note we call him that night and he goes your arabian is skinny even after explainging that we didnt own an arab the officer was so set that my mustang was an arab that we had to pull up his adoption papers to prove it . 
my "arab" is the grey one lol nd he even had a pot belly!


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## palominolover

FlitterBug said:


> One time we had family over and my uncle from TX eyeballed my gelding out behind the house. He asked me if anyone had ever jumped on him from behind before, I told him that one of my friends that is a roper had done it when we were trail riding double.
> 
> Well, my uncle, in his mid 50s at the time, and complete football player jock type, decides that he can do it, so he spends all afternoon walking out where the horse was, sizing him up from the sides, putting his hands up on his rump, he'd walk inside, go out, do it again, computing in his head how this could work. Finally, he wants to try it. He doesn't just take two steps and hop up like my friend did, he gets a 40' running start down a small hill towards this geldings hind end. The gelding, a little too smart for his own good, watched my uncle come charging at his rump, waited until my uncle was in superman pose in the air right behind him, and took one step to the side. He wasn't the least bit afraid of the man charging at him, and after that one step, he just stood their and looked at my uncle face down in the grass. The whole family was falling over laughing, so my uncle, never to be beat, decides to try it again, he just timed it wrong the first time so he thought. Well, gelding has this down now, and after the second face plant with the horse standing next to him, my uncle admitted defeat.....


that's great XD it made me laugh


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## inaclick

The incredible shakespearian monologues that a non-animal actually person can pull...

Such as:
"Horsey! horsey horsey horsey! let's go now, let's go over to that road yes?" (horse standing still) "Awwwwhhhh he loves me, you love me dearly I can see it in your eyes he has so much love and affection!" (horse checking pockets for carrots) "Hey! Hey! I told you 3 times already, do not push me. This is not a nice behavior for such a good horsey like you. Listen to me, I'm telling you again! hey! where ya going? come back!" (horse walks away slowly)

Or not horse related, but dog related. there was this lady walking her dog several times / week and i could see / hear her from my room actually. The dog was very energetic and as soon as he was off the leash he'd run around in circles etc...happy dog.
And owner :
"Max! Maxi! what have I told you? Haven't we talked already about this? this morning? Bad boy, stop running! you know momma has leg pains! Stop running right now! No more chicken for you! Fine...Fine, this is your last warning. Fine, do it your way. You'll be upset tonight at dinner. NO CHICKEN FOR YOU!"


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## ThinkingOfRiding

My friend (totally non-horsey girl) went to the barn and saw a horse with a fly mask on and said "aww, poor thing it's blind"

LOL


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## trailhorserider

I have two such stories. 

Once, many years ago when I boarded, I was cleaning my Arab gelding's back feet and he had a funny way of stretching them out behind him when you were cleaning them. He would sort of hold them in mid air and jerk them a time or two. So the lady WHO IS THE BARN OWNER said "I saw Belgia try to kick you today." And I replied, "I must have missed it." And she said "Oh no, you were right there, cleaning his feet." :roll:

And more recently, word got out that my mare is in foal, and the lady who works at the post office keeps going on about my mare having a "pony" and how "ponies" are so cute and such. And I'm thinking my mare better darn well not be having a pony, lol! :lol:

Oh, and I hate it in horse ads when people are selling phillys. Like they are from Philly or something! 

And apparently there are tons of folks who don't know the difference between a colt and a filly, because when I bought Isabelle and we were looking at the foals, I asked the seller if a particular foal was a colt or a filly and the seller was impressed that I knew the difference. I thought every horse loving 5 year old kid knew the difference? Apparently there are a lot of horse buyers that don't. Kind of scary the types of inexperienced people who go look to buy weanlings. :roll:


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## A knack for horses

A few days ago, my friend was looking at a poster of a horse I had on my wall. She was absolutely horrified by it. She said, "Why would you even let a horse run around in that condition? That is so terrible!"
So I look at this poster, and I see nothing wrong with this horse. It is in good weight, had fairly decent conformation, and a healthy shine to his coat. The pasture is full of grass, the fence is in good repair; I have no idea what she is looking at so I say, "what are you talking about? There isn't anything wrong with him."
Then my friend goes hysterical, and yells, "You can't see that CLEAR bump right there on his back? I thought you knew a lot about horses. I mean, I don't know anything about them but I know that is not good." Then she proceeds to point to the poster.

She pointed at the withers.

It took me 12 minutes and about 50 more pictures of horses to explain to her that it was a natural part of the horses anatomy. And clearly, she doesn't know anything about them.


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## devildogtigress

Someone saw a horse I had grazing in a fly mask. He asked, "Can he see in that?" My response (without missing a beat) "Nope, I just like to put it on him and watch him stumble around blind."


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## aspin231

devildogtigress said:


> Someone saw a horse I had grazing in a fly mask. He asked, "Can he see in that?" My response (without missing a beat) "Nope, I just like to put it on him and watch him stumble around blind."


ROFL!

I was discussing my horses hooves with the barn owner (she also does farrier work) and I asked wy his frog looked weird. One of the other boarders (new to horses) "There's a FROG in your horse's FOOT?!?!?"
Why yes, yes there is.


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## LoveStory10

I was cleaning my tack once before a show, and I asked my mom to put my numnah in the wash while I hand washed my girth. Anyway after doing this, she gets on the phone with my grandma and proceded to tell her that, " I just put Danielle's numnum(?) in the wash while she washes her girdle(?)." My gran asks to speak to me, so I go on, and she tries to sound (her words) "horse wise":roll:, and tells me that when I go to my big race tomorrow:rofl: I mustnt forget my spatz.

Ok:

numnum - numnah
Girdle - girth
big race - training jumping show
spatz - chaps.

lol WHAT?


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## A knack for horses

LoveStory10 said:


> numnum - numnah
> Girdle - girth


:rofl:

Don't forget to make sure your horses girdle is tight before you enter the big race.:rofl:

Oh, I love my grandma, but she just doesn't understand the difference between a mare and gelding. she just reffers to them and girl horses and boy horses.


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## drafts4ever

Poco1220 said:


> On that topic - a friend of ours had the cops called out on him because a lady INSISTED his 3 draft horses in the field were on fire. It was a colder day and he had just put them out to field after working them so you could see the heat coming off them. She was freaking out about putting them out before they burn to death!!!!


Have you posted the full story on here before? I remember reading something just like that and if I recall there were a couple calls out to the animal control from the same lady for various silly reasons. I'd love to read it again!


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## Katana

My hubbys calls the horses legs their 'Wheels' and if they need their feet done he says they need re-treads!! LOL


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## Starlet

I think it's the funniest thing when we bring people over to ride and they walk in the barn, scrunch their nose and go EEEWWWWWW it smells in here!!!!! Makes me laugh each time :rofl: those silly non horsey people


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## Katana

It smells Just delicious to me!!


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## Indyhorse

MN Tigerstripes said:


> 10 years later he's my boyfriend and still doesn't want to listen to me when I tell him how to mount.


Why am I the only freak here who finds the way you worded this amusing? :twisted:


Mine is making fun of my own kid, big meany-me. When we went to meet Misty, the pony I eventually bought for him, her previous owner (a 9 year old girl) told my then 5 year old son that Misty "walks right through water."

My son misunderstood her and told everyone that would listen for the next three months that his new pony "walks on water" :lol:


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## speedy da fish

drafteventer said:


> These are great!
> I was riding Remi at my house and my neighbor (who is a older lady) comes down and starts to watch. When I walk out of the ring to go up on the trail she asks me what breed he was. I said he was a draft horse. When she heard that she had the most shocked look on her face and says "You can RIDE those?! I thought they could only pull plows!!?"
> I laughed soo hard about that.


haha brilliant, how old WAS she?! lol



Speed Racer said:


> My heart horse was a bay, purebred Arabian gelding.
> 
> I had him in the crossties grooming him one day, when another boarder's BF (I don't board anymore) came wandering up and asked what he was.
> 
> When I told him Arabian, he said, "An Arabian, huh? When is he going to turn white?"
> 
> I told him, "He won't gray out, he's a bay and will stay this color."
> 
> He said, "Well, then he can't be a _real_ Arabian, 'cause all of them turn white!"
> 
> I gave him a strange look and told him, "No, Arabians aren't all gray. They really do come in different colors."
> 
> Dipstick continued to insist that I couldn't possibly have a 'real' (purebred) Arabian, 'cause he'd read somewhere that all of them turned white, and I must have gotten ripped off.
> 
> At that point I just gave him a, 'You're a total dumbass and I'm done with this conversation' look, unhooked my horse, and walked away shaking my head.


haha what?! never heard of that... 



Indyhorse said:


> Why am I the only freak here who finds the way you worded this amusing? :twisted:
> 
> 
> Mine is making fun of my own kid, big meany-me. When we went to meet Misty, the pony I eventually bought for him, her previous owner (a 9 year old girl) told my then 5 year old son that Misty "walks right through water."
> 
> My son misunderstood her and told everyone that would listen for the next three months that his new pony "walks on water" :lol:


haha this made me laugh!

good thread my giggles for the day.

Dad: are you going to put William's overreach on?
Me: no dad, not for travelling 
Dad: but you ALWAYS do!
Me: no they are his travel boots :roll:
Dad: doesn't he need his overreach as well? _he is getting really wound up about this_
Me: no, dad, overreach are generally for riding 

Mum: Don't forget to take your stirrups with you!
Me: do you mean spurs mum?
Mum: yeah... whats the difference?

Mum: have you got his stirrups on?
Me: yes he's all tacked up and his stirrups are attached to the saddle... like they always are.
Mum: how about the ones on his face?
Me: thats his bridle :/

Mum: did we need to get new stirrups whilst we are here? [local farm store]
Me: no... we got some not so long ago, remember, they were a late birthday present ?
Mum: oh yeah... what do I mean then?
Me: um bit?
Mum: thats the one
Me: no he has one im happy with

Boyfriend: he's brown isnt he?
Me: no bay 
_ conversation continues_
Boyfriend: whats a gelding?


----------



## Lagartohorses

Well, I will tell something on myself. I am new to the Arabian world and owning of horses so I was talking to a Arab friend of mine and we were talking about a homozygous stallion that was Outstanding and I called him a homogenized black. I thought she was gonna die laughing!


----------



## Katana

speedy da fish said:


> haha brilliant, how old WAS she?! lol
> Boyfriend: he's brown isnt he?
> Me: no bay
> _ conversation continues_
> Boyfriend: whats a gelding?


Its what You'll be if you dont quit with the silly questions! LOL


----------



## Britt

XD! These are hilarious!

I don't have anything non-horsey people have said, but my cousin (who I guess could be considered nonhorsey... he knows how to ride, but doesn't really ride often)... He passed me when I was walking my gelding Dakota down the road and stopped and asked why I wasn't riding GYPSIE. He thought that Dakota was my mare... lol... I told him that I was walking Dakota, and he argued with me for about twenty minutes that Dakota wasn't Dakota, but Gypsie. 

He finally got out of his truck and actually looked to see whether or not I was wrong or right... he realized that he was wrong and was like 'Oh, it is Dakota'... and left.


----------



## Eliz

"Yeah my dad fell off that horse... it started bucking and he lost his saddle loops."

Baha!
Saddle loops = stirrups.


----------



## apachiedragon

The fly mask thing never gets old. I've had people driving down the road stop and knock on my door thinking the horse has gotten his head stuck in something and can't see. I tell them, "No, he's just wearing his sunglasses".


----------



## Poco1220

The best Ive heard was when I was working for a ompany that does pony rides at the fairs on the big wheels. A gelding had his part all the way down and relaxing. A small child walked right up and pointed at it saying "Mommy what's that?" the moms response "I don't know. But it's definetly bigger than your dad's". We died laughing and the lady walked away like she hadn't said anything at all.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Katana

****!! Hahahahahaha I remeber my nephew coming out once & pointing at our Shire Stallion who was 'relaxing' He asked, Aunty V, how come that horse has 5 legs??


----------



## Indyhorse

Poco1220 said:


> The best Ive heard was when I was working for a ompany that does pony rides at the fairs on the big wheels. A gelding had his part all the way down and relaxing. A small child walked right up and pointed at it saying "Mommy what's that?" the moms response "I don't know. But it's definetly bigger than your dad's". We died laughing and the lady walked away like she hadn't said anything at all.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



:rofl::rofl::rofl::clap::clap::clap::rofl::rofl::rofl::clap::clap::clap:


Okay I think that one wins....bwahahaha


----------



## apachiedragon

One of my geldings used to try to mount the others in the pasture, as a dominance thing. My daughter came in and told me that he was trying to get on and ride, but that the other horses wouldn't be still and let him on, lol


----------



## Eliz

Hahahahahaha!

Ahh, little kids know no shame


----------



## speedy da fish

Poco1220 said:


> The best Ive heard was when I was working for a ompany that does pony rides at the fairs on the big wheels. A gelding had his part all the way down and relaxing. A small child walked right up and pointed at it saying "Mommy what's that?" the moms response "I don't know. But it's definetly bigger than your dad's". We died laughing and the lady walked away like she hadn't said anything at all.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


love it! also love the funny one about the kid who asked if that horse had '5 legs'  kids are so funny...

:rofl:


----------



## ChristianCowgirl

sullylvr said:


> Hahaha these are hilarious!! Okay so one time I brought my friend to the barn to watch me ride my horse ozzie, while we were visiting a different horse across the fence, she accidentally rested her arm on the hotwire. She proceeded to freek out and scream and now tells people she got "electrocuted" hehe
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wow. I always said I got "zapped." People always said I was a wimp if I said it was painful. My dad said I should hold hands with a bunch of people and grab the fence. Apparently, it only gets the last person and it hurts WAY worse than if you just touch it. 



MN Tigerstripes said:


> This isn't a funny thing that was said, but a funny thing a non-horse person did
> 
> Friend in HS came over to go riding. Flame is bareback (she's like 15 hands or so, maybe a little shorter) so I tell him how I can give him a leg up. He's like 6'2", so it shouldn't be hard for him to get on..... BUT he wants to do it "his way." His way is to back up about 30 feet and RUN as fast as he can towards her and jump on. Welll he launched himself right over the top of the horse. She turns and looks at him like "Dumbass" and I couldn't stop laughing. After that we did it my way. 10 years later he's my boyfriend and still doesn't want to listen to me when I tell him how to mount.


Haha! I know a lot of people that think the jumping approach is better. Even when they miss.



Sissimut-icehestar said:


> When my friend saw my horse after a while "wow, did he always have white in his face?" (my horse has a big star and a snip). I explained to her that markings don't just appear.


I've known people that were sure the stars randomly appear because they don't always show. Others think I'm showing them 2 different pictures because the forelock covered the star in one, but not the other.

Ok, by far the best one I've ever heard is this: I was talking to a guy about horse stuff one day and said that I'd always thought it would be fun to learn to barrel race. I thought I was being plenty straight forward. He asked me "wouldn't that be painful?" I asked what he meant and his response was, "I'd think it would hurt to be rolled around in a barrel!" :rofl: :rofl: It took like an hour to explain what barrel racing really was. I finally had to show him a race on youtube!


----------



## jamesqf

speedy da fish said:


> Boyfriend: he's brown isnt he?
> Me: no bay


So a bay horse isn't brown? Funny, mine is


----------



## qha4

my cousin came trail riding with me and my aunt one day and i was explaining to him that my aunts horse was a former westren pleasure horse,he gave me a weird look and i explained to him that westren pleasure was a type of horse show;end of discusion right,wrong a week later i over heard him telling my other cousin that my aunt's horse was in the circus
to him horse show=circus


----------



## A knack for horses

qha4 said:


> my cousin came trail riding with me and my aunt one day and i was explaining to him that my aunts horse was a former westren pleasure horse,he gave me a weird look and i explained to him that westren pleasure was a type of horse show;end of discusion right,wrong a week later i over heard him telling my other cousin that my aunt's horse was in the circus
> to him horse show=circus


Get this one, I was telling my uncle about the show I went to about a week ago. I was telling him about one class and he said, "What is it called?" 
I said, "Western Pleasure"
He replied, "Isn't that the weekday special at the nude bar?"
:-x Let me introduce you to my uncle. :-x


----------



## horsegirlmaddy

LOL these are all killing me!!!

One of my favourites:

I was assisting with lessons one day, and we have this big gelding who still doesn't know he's lacking certain...parts  and he was letting it all hang loose down there. This little girl came up to me, pointing at CD's "relaxation" and she's like "What's that?" I die a little on the inside, but go the honest route and say "that's his penis." and she says "OH! My brother has one of those!" Like it was this big revelation. Yep, I bet he does


----------



## ilyTango

horsegirlmaddy said:


> One of my favourites:
> 
> I was assisting with lessons one day, and we have this big gelding who still doesn't know he's lacking certain...parts  and he was letting it all hang loose down there. This little girl came up to me, pointing at CD's "relaxation" and she's like "What's that?" I die a little on the inside, but go the honest route and say "that's his penis." and she says "OH! My brother has one of those!" Like it was this big revelation. Yep, I bet he does


:rofl:

BAHAHAHAHA!!!


----------



## ChristianCowgirl

When the horse I rode finally had her foal (when I was ten) I wet around telling everybodybthatshe had a gorgeous colt. Almost everyone I told asked if it was a boy or girl. I'd just told them it was a colt! But they all thought that just meant a baby...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## horsegirlmaddy

Indyhorse said:


> Why am I the only freak here who finds the way you worded this amusing? :twisted:
> 
> 
> Mine is making fun of my own kid, big meany-me. When we went to meet Misty, the pony I eventually bought for him, her previous owner (a 9 year old girl) told my then 5 year old son that Misty "walks right through water."
> 
> My son misunderstood her and told everyone that would listen for the next three months that his new pony "walks on water" :lol:


 
So far you appear to be the only freak who brought it to attention, but you're certainly not the only one laughing! ROFL


----------



## devildogtigress

A knack for horses said:


> Get this one, I was telling my uncle about the show I went to about a week ago. I was telling him about one class and he said, "What is it called?"
> I said, "Western Pleasure"
> He replied, "Isn't that the weekday special at the nude bar?"
> :-x Let me introduce you to my uncle. :-x


ROFL...even my hubby cracked up at this one


----------



## MN Tigerstripes

Indy/Horsegirlmaddy - After I read it (of course after I hit "Post") I realized how that sounded. But I figured anyone who caught it deserved a good laugh. I know I laughed when I read what I wrote.


----------



## macscootin

I have one that I recieved at a horse show, really hope the woman was just having a long day. We own a mustang mare..... Lady walks up to me and kate and asks ( as we're waiting for halter mares) what breed my horse was, I replied " A mustang", she got a funny look on her face and replied back " I thought those were wild."


----------



## horsegirlmaddy

Oh and my dad also said another funny one!

I was on my way to my rider level testing, and my dad (NOT horsey!) was dropping me off. As I step out the door and wave goodbye, my dad, trying to be horsey and encouraging, told me to "break a forelock". Um, I think he meant "fetlock".... HAHAHAHA good try though, dad!


----------



## leonalee

My little brother came out to our farm and was like "Yeah, I want to ride!" Keep in mind he's like, 19 at this point - granted he hasn't ever ridden. The horse was about 15 hh... my brother is 6'2" (but really thin). He got his foot in the stirrup to mount and was like "Dude, seriously, I can't do this. What if I die?" 

Me - "DUDE, SERIOUSLY, get on, you're fine. Swing your leg over, don't kick her in the butt, and sit down gently." (loving older sister, I know).

After he sits down, I'm at the horses head explaining what to do to get her to "go" (already had done this on the ground, but was reitterating), and how to turn her and told him "Don't kick her hard, and to make her stop remember to just gently pull back on the reins - only like an inch at the most." I stepped out of the way. HUGE stress on quiet hands/voice/cues.

He nudged her with his foot and she started to walk and my brothers arms promptly went straight up over his head and he leaned waaaayyyyyy back - reins still in hands, and he starts screaming "I want off, get me off, I don't like this, get me off!" Literally screaming. Priceless. I led him around on a "pony ride" until he calmed down, but I don't think he will be riding again anytime soon. 

Did I mention he is a professional cage fighter? ha


----------



## Carleen

horsegirlmaddy said:


> Oh and my dad also said another funny one!
> 
> I was on my way to my rider level testing, and my dad (NOT horsey!) was dropping me off. As I step out the door and wave goodbye, my dad, trying to be horsey and encouraging, told me to "break a forelock". Um, I think he meant "fetlock".... HAHAHAHA good try though, dad!


That's so cute! Hilarious, but cute in an innocent sort of way.
:lol:


----------



## Tyler

leonalee said:


> My little brother came out to our farm and was like "Yeah, I want to ride!" Keep in mind he's like, 19 at this point - granted he hasn't ever ridden. The horse was about 15 hh... my brother is 6'2" (but really thin). He got his foot in the stirrup to mount and was like "Dude, seriously, I can't do this. What if I die?"
> 
> Me - "DUDE, SERIOUSLY, get on, you're fine. Swing your leg over, don't kick her in the butt, and sit down gently." (loving older sister, I know).
> 
> After he sits down, I'm at the horses head explaining what to do to get her to "go" (already had done this on the ground, but was reitterating), and how to turn her and told him "Don't kick her hard, and to make her stop remember to just gently pull back on the reins - only like an inch at the most." I stepped out of the way. HUGE stress on quiet hands/voice/cues.
> 
> He nudged her with his foot and she started to walk and my brothers arms promptly went straight up over his head and he leaned waaaayyyyyy back - reins still in hands, and he starts screaming "I want off, get me off, I don't like this, get me off!" Literally screaming. Priceless. I led him around on a "pony ride" until he calmed down, but I don't think he will be riding again anytime soon.
> 
> *Did I mention he is a professional cage fighter? ha*


ROFL!

Sorry. I don't have any stories... but I sure have enjoyed reading all ya'lls!


----------



## jamesqf

qha4 said:


> a week later i over heard him telling my other cousin that my aunt's horse was in the circus
> to him horse show=circus


Hate to say this, but he does have a point


----------



## xdrybonesxvalleyx

leonalee, that is AWESOME. You should've caught that on camera and haunted him for the rest of his life.


----------



## leonalee

Haha - I wish. I'm sure if I could ever get him back up, it'd be the same reaction, he is such a goof!


----------



## Regan7312

smrobs said:


> I love those people who have never seen a horse in their lives that are absolutely terrified of them because "They are so big and there is no possible way that someone so small could control them".


i like this..its so true, ppl always say this!


----------



## Regan7312

Ridehorses99 said:


> I love the people who say they can ride and before they get on a horse they ask, "How fast can this horse go?" I always reply, "Faster than you need him to go." The minute they get in the saddle and the horse starts walking, the first thing they want to know is how to slow the horse down. He only has 1 speed slower, and that's a stop.


 
hahah i love this one too


----------



## franknbeans

Well, this is just the best I have heard over MANY years. We went to a business dinner (black tie) and I knew one of the other couples we were seated with had daughters who had recently gotten show ponies. I knew they kept them at a show barn where the mom calls up and just tells the barn employees to get the ponies ready-girls are comng. Seriouslt-how sad. They neve even groom their own horse! Anyway, I asked "Barbie mom " (huge boobs, diamonds and blonde "doo") how the girls were doing with their ponies.....she replies-and yes, she is serious! "oh-one hurt its arm". I said you mean front leg? She said-"no, she meant arm. That is what they are called, aren't they?" OMG. Thank god they have others taking care of the poor animals. 

She then asked about my horse (out of pure courtesy), and I explained that I have a Clydesdale cross-her response was "don't you jump?" I said, that yes, I did, to which she said "Those actually jump?????" "well, yes, actually, quite wellm thanks."

It was a VERY LONG night! lol May we never forget to take care of our horses "arms". Shoot, even my hubby knows they have 4 legs!


----------



## HorseOfCourse

This isn't horsey related, but it's cute and I think you all will enjoy[pardon the language]

My cousin, Julie, was trying to get her daughter, Kylie, who is 4 dressed. Kylie was being well..a four year old and Julie says "Kylie, get dressed already, you're driving me crazy!" without missing a beat Kylie says "I don't know how to drive, dumbass!"


----------



## tempest

Speed Racer said:


> How about when people get ask you why your horses are 'blindfolded'?


This thread is awesome. You should have replied and said "Because they're afraid of the dark" and see if they could figure it out.


----------



## A knack for horses

tempest said:


> This thread is awesome. You should have replied and said "Because they're afraid of the dark" and see if they could figure it out.


 :rofl::clap::clap:
Love it!!!


----------



## Sunny

I took my man's mom to the barn yesterday to meet the horses. The whole time she way saying, "What if they ______", fill in the blank with kick, spook, rear, etc..... While she was petting Sista, who was in her stall and unable to attack, she said, "You get so used to dogs and cats, and you see a horse and they're just so BIG!" As we were leaving, Sunny was following us so we stopped to pet her. She went up to my beau's mom, and was getting close to get scratched, when his mom says, "Sunny, you're so beautiful but you SCARE me!" and sorta ran off. XD Then we got in the car and she told my boyfriend's sister that she rode across the pond on a cattle drive. I THINK she was kidding.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## cakemom

My father in law is the funny one here....when we got our girl in January he began the how much he knows about horses and how little I know tirade, it's kinda his thing, he knows everything (it's ok, doesn't bother me for him to know it all)..well...he comes to see our girl and says yup, in his country voice, bout what i thought, you got yerself one of them there 7 hand horses there...
to which the 11 year old horsey girl owner (my daughter) looked at me and said MOM, finally something I can tell him he is really wrong about right? Mare is 14.3 hands btw...father in law insists hands were bigger when he was younger, they must have changed it.

We did consider borrowing a mini from our friend and bringing it to their house and saying LOOK, Sarah's new horse, since my FIL thinks she needs a 7 hand one to be the right size.


----------



## flamingauburnmustang

:lol: I love these sooo much! Too hilarious! :lol:

I've had a friend that calls the numnah a blanket...

Also, at my old boarding stable there was a cribber, and when my one friend saw this, she immediatly ran over and loosened the cribbing collar and told me that the horse's idiot owner put his collar on too tight. :lol:

That same friend overheard someone saying they need brushing boots for their mare, and she came up to me and said, "I don't know how on earth you would brush your horse with your boots..."

Classic.... :grin:


----------



## ChristianCowgirl

I have a friend with a gorgeous paint mare. She has a bald face and two glass eyes. When I tell people this they always feel so sorry for her. "The poor thing is blind and has fake eyes?!?" Some even think bald face is literal.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## lopez

Well, My gelding has this habit of letting his uh. . 'thingy' hang out after I've ridden him and while he's eating. My sort of horsey friends see this and just freak out. There faces are absolutely hilarious.


----------



## jamesqf

ChristianCowgirl said:


> I have a friend with a gorgeous paint mare. She has a bald face and two glass eyes. When I tell people this they always feel so sorry for her. "The poor thing is blind and has fake eyes?!?" Some even think bald face is literal.


Well, why on earth wouldn't they? They probably think you are speaking English.

You know, about half of the supposedly hilarious things in this thread are really cases where instead of using normal everyday language, you've made up your own private meanings - like calling a white horse grey, or having a special word for a saddle blanket - then act amused when others don't understand. Hate to say this, but the joke's really on you


----------



## MaggiStar

^^^^^^^ 
Your just going around this thread saying thats not funny, thats stupid, etc. Whats the point?


----------



## Speed Racer

jamesqf said:


> like calling a white horse grey


There are actually very few horses that are really and truly white. The vast majority are gray, regardless of what the nonhorse people think.

I don't make fun of people when they ask about my 'white' horse. I tell them he's actually gray, and explain why.

Many things nonhorse people say are unintentionally hilarious, but I try to set them straight as politely as possible. It's the ignorant ones who _insist_ they're right no matter what, at whom I'll roll my eyes and laugh.

No one knows everything. I know I've asked some boneheaded things about certain sports, and when I'm corrected I thank the person for the information. I don't insist I'm right, especially since I really know nothing about it.

Each hobby/past time has its own language. Unless you're immersed in it, you won't know the terminology. That can and does make for some very funny comments.


----------



## Alwaysbehind

ChristianCowgirl said:


> I have a friend with a gorgeous paint mare. She has a bald face and two glass eyes. When I tell people this they always feel so sorry for her. "The poor thing is blind and has fake eyes?!?" Some even think bald face is literal.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have been around horses for...well a very long time. Though I would have surmised the meaning of two glass eyes if it was given to me in a conversation like that I can honestly say I have not ever encountered that term for what I assume are blue eyes.

I have to agree with the posters who say that just because we (horse people) have our own language does not mean others are stupid for not knowing it.


----------



## spiritofthebush

Best one i have seen is an amatuers ad to try and sell her horse. The horse is 15.2hh. But according to her it is HUGE and listed it for sale as being 18.7hh. I had to tell her that:

1) the horse was only 15.2hh
2) there is no such thing as ".7" because the ".0" only goes up to three!

As well as that. It is OTT...yet her 3 YEAR OLD rides it.... 



ahem.


----------



## Speed Racer

Spirit, there's a difference between being unintentionally funny and downright lying. Sounds like the person with the 3 y/o OTTB was doing the latter.


----------



## spiritofthebush

Speed Racer said:


> Spirit, there's a difference between being unintentionally funny and downright lying. Sounds like the person with the 3 y/o OTTB was doing the latter.


 
My thoughts exactly! :shock:


----------



## Mickey4793

Not really something that was said, but a while back before I had my own horse I used to ride school horses a lot, and I brought my friend with me one night. 

I was riding a pretty quiet school horse while she watched by the gate. As I trotted towards the gate I noticed she had gone off somewhere, but I shrugged it off and continued on. As I passed the gate however, my friend JUMPS UP out of nowhere, and yells "SURPRISE!" sending the horse I was on flying! 

I didn't come off and we did have a good laugh about it after, as well as a talk about not surprising the horses. :]


----------



## apachiedragon

My hubby, who IS horsey, used to sneak up and hide in the bushes near the arena and shake them as I rode by. Could have killed him, but after a while, they just flicked an ear that way like, "oh, it's just THAT idiot again" lol


----------



## CoyoteRoseRanch

^Haha! An ex-boyfriend asked me once why I shaved half the mane off all of my horses! He thought the mane should be on both sides of the neck LOL! He was such a moron though LOL!


----------



## jamesqf

Alwaysbehind said:


> I have been around horses for...well a very long time. Though I would have surmised the meaning of two glass eyes if it was given to me in a conversation like that I can honestly say I have not ever encountered that term for what I assume are blue eyes.


Me either. I have two human friends, one with a full head of white hair, one who has only a fringe around his ears, and I assure you we all know which one is bald  Likewise, the piece of fabric that goes between horse and saddle is either "saddle blanket" if it's rectangular, or a "saddle pad" if it's shaped. There are four horses in our field (bay, black, chestnut, and roan), and when I tell folks that mine is the brown one with the black mane & tail, everyone knows which one I mean.


----------



## Gidget

these are great!

My twin isn't into horses like the rest of the family and I told her I had to move the tack to the stable and she was all "is that to wash a horse with?"...hahaha...I told her and she was just said "oh"..


----------



## Arksly

My grandpa who insists he knows everything about horses. So, after he came to watch me ride at a show one day he wanted to take my horse (a 17 year old Thoroughbred) on a walk. My mom didn't see a problem with it so she let him telling him he had to keep the number with him. My mom found him later letting my horse graze with the lead rope on the ground. She told him that he needed to pick it up because if my horse were to step on it he would set back. After he continually insisted that horses don't do that my mom continued going to the show office and about 3 minutes later she heres "Loose horse!" and my horse comes cantering past her without a halter. Needless to say, he doesn't take our horses for a walk anymore.

Another one was after my step-brother found out that I rode horses and gave me the tipical (sp?) "not a sport" comment he continued to tell me that he could ride. He said "Yeah, I've even trotted. I'm good." I have yet to see him step near a horse.


----------



## Gidget

O.O oh my


----------



## HorseDad

MN Tigerstripes said:


> Indy/Horsegirlmaddy - After I read it (of course after I hit "Post") I realized how that sounded. But I figured anyone who caught it deserved a good laugh. I know I laughed when I read what I wrote.



I think there are lots who laughed! thx!


----------



## springinmeadow

that was fun, I've been around horses and I too would say something dumb like geldings in the wild, but these were fun, I needed fun! My daughter when she was abut 6 or 7 was riding my qh in the round pen, I left for just a minute she comes running up "MOM MOM CHARLIE TIPPED OVER." Scared me, but upon investigation the saddle had slipped . Gotta love the little ones.


----------



## ChristianCowgirl

Haha! Kids are so awesome!

I've been told a million times that riding isn't a sport. "the horse does all the work." "it's easy." oh well. It's in the olympics. Last I checked they only have sports. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## drafts4ever

Ok so I kinda have one. 
My x takes lessons from me (we're on good working terms). After putting Caleigh away and putting away the tack he askes about Sampson. I said he was good and asked if he wanted to meet Mr. Princess. 
At the barn Sampson has the nickname Princess. He's sensitive and somewhere a long the long line of owners, he learned how to pout (If a horse can he does). Caleigh's neigh is bigger and deeper than his as well as a few of the lighter horses he's turned out with. haha. So he is referred to as "Princess" when he comes up in conversation. 
We go out to the pasture and he's standing right there and walks over to say hi and get his pets and scratches in. Aren remarks on how he dwarfs Caleigh and he's gorgeous, his weight looks better and he's happy I can give him a good home and everything. I start to realize that Aren is saying "she" instead of "he". Before I can say anything Aren who was scratching the big belly pops up and says "Uh Ellie? Aren't only boys supposed to have those?" I look down and his monster is hanging just swinging in the summer breeze. I the realize I've been calling Sampson by his nickname Princess the whole time. I confused Aren. (sorry if it's a bad/dirty reference but it's scarily accurate according to my vet who cleaned him)

My second one was a awhile back and happened while my trainer, katies mom and I were watching little 8 year old katie ride her new horse. 
Katie got a dead broke cute quarter horse gelding for Christmas and this was her second ride/mini lesson on this particular horse. Katie had been taking lessons at the barn for 9 months though. Anyway, moving on. Katie has only walked and trotted so far. Her mom, my trainer and I are all sitting in the arena talking while she rides around at a little jog, practices steering and what not. Then my trainer is on the edge of her seat as Katie goes loping by all nonchalant like. 
Vicki (Trainer): OMG Katie are you alright?! What are you doing?! 
Katie (shrugs on her way by): I'm loping? Are YOU alright? (sounding concerned with a hint of sarcasm)
Her mom and I start dying in laughter


----------



## Ray MacDonald

What a cute little kid! ^


----------



## Lis

My mum's farrier told her about a bloke who bought a horse then asked the farrier how much it would cost to take the wooden bits off and get new ones and that he wanted a proper job doing on them. At first the farrier thought he was taking the mickey when he worked out the bloke was asking him to take the horses hooves off and replace them. Turns out he wasn't, just not knowledgeable about horses.


----------



## jamesqf

Lis said:


> ...the bloke was asking him to take the horses hooves off and replace them.


Ain't all that funny: when I add up all the money (& time, trouble, etc) I've spent on Ellie's hoof problems, I sure wish I could just replace all four.


----------



## drafts4ever

Hey look at that! Apparently I have hoof problems, who'da thunk it?! (my names Ellie). Sorry I'm in a silly mood, I should probably head to the barn. lol


----------



## MacabreMikolaj

jamesqf said:


> Ain't all that funny: when I add up all the money (& time, trouble, etc) I've spent on Ellie's hoof problems, I sure wish I could just replace all four.


With your attitude, I'm pretty sure Ellie wishes she could replace you! :roll:

I actually have a story about a boyfriend who DID know a thing or two about horses, enough so to make a joke! I had just finished hogging Playboy's mane (who is a purebred Arab but has been mistaken his entire life for a QH because he's so massive) after he tore chunks out. Everyone knows an Arab with a roached mane is a bit of a "disgrace" so I sadly stepped back and go "Without his mane, he's only half a horse!" and without missing a beat, Marcel gets this gleam in his eye and goes "Don't you mean...a quarter horse?" I just about died laughing. All of his horse knowledge had been picked up since dating me, so I was quite proud he was clever enough to think of the joke!

The other day I was riding Zierra, and she has a pink headstall for her hackamore and I had a teenage girl walk up to pet her and compliment her on her halter! It was a situation where she was obviously trying to impress her friends (who were scared), so I just let her have it! :lol: Close enough anyway right?

A couple weeks ago, me and Ashley were at the ranch and I was hand grazing Jynx while Ashley was sitting on Justus who's grazing (Justus is a 14.1hh Welsh X Appy/Mustang pony). This family comes over, and want to pet the horses. They're going on about how they used to own horses and such, and the father actually seemed quite knowledge and was in love with Jynx. The mom had me in stitches because first she gasped and said she'd NEVER known anybody to dye their horses tail like I did! (Jynx has a black and white tail). I gently explained to her it was just her color (she thought it was just as cool).

And then she asks if Justus is a racehorse, and without waiting for an answer, she goes "Oh no, she's to big to be a racehorse." I kind of just stood there without anything to say because how do you really answer that?!


----------



## Britthing

At a parade I was on my friends 16h stallion Pavoroyal fantastic looking horse. he was being a punk as he was tired of waiting around. This woman walked up to me and said can't you control that thing? I was like lady he is 1200lbs I am on his back because he allows it, WHAT DO YOU THINK?????? we took a second place


----------



## VanillaBean

okay so my uncle came to see us and saw the horses in the field with their flymasks on ... "is that some sort of punishment?" oh. my. god. 

VB

GREAT thread!!


----------



## jamesqf

MacabreMikolaj said:


> With your attitude, I'm pretty sure Ellie wishes she could replace you! :roll:




I dunno. Considering that about a month ago, I spent about an hour kneeling in the corral trying to hold a pressure bandage on a spurting artery 'cause she'd decided to kick through the metal barn wall (on a holiday, too) and then another couple of hours holding her head while the vet sewed up her leg... Well, she doesn't seem to have any problem with my attitude 

And frankly, I'd rather have my attitude than that of someone who, when a teenage girl doesn't know the right technical term to use when complimenting a horse, "just lets her have it".


----------



## HorseDad

and back on topic, once, this horse guy thought waaaaayyyyy to much of himself. 

The rest of us laughed sooo hard.


----------



## xdrybonesxvalleyx

Ha! =] ^


----------



## Hunter65

Katana said:


> It smells Just delicious to me!!


Me too I looooove the smell of horse. So does my dog lol


----------



## Hunter65

Indyhorse said:


> Why am I the only freak here who finds the way you worded this amusing? :twisted:
> 
> 
> Mine is making fun of my own kid, big meany-me. When we went to meet Misty, the pony I eventually bought for him, her previous owner (a 9 year old girl) told my then 5 year old son that Misty "walks right through water."
> 
> My son misunderstood her and told everyone that would listen for the next three months that his new pony "walks on water" :lol:



Hahaha that is funny. Reminds me of my daughter. She was born in Whitehorse, Yukon. We moved when she was very small but her dad still lives there. For years she told everyone that her dad lives on a white horse.


----------



## flamingauburnmustang

^^ When I talk about Stoeka to people who are not very clued in with the horsey terms at all, I refer to her as a white horse to them, so they don't go picturing a dark grey horse when I say she's grey. :wink:


----------



## Hunter65

MacabreMikolaj said:


> With your attitude, I'm pretty sure Ellie wishes she could replace you! :roll:
> 
> I actually have a story about a boyfriend who DID know a thing or two about horses, enough so to make a joke! I had just finished hogging Playboy's mane (who is a purebred Arab but has been mistaken his entire life for a QH because he's so massive) after he tore chunks out. Everyone knows an Arab with a roached mane is a bit of a "disgrace" so I sadly stepped back and go "Without his mane, he's only half a horse!" and without missing a beat, Marcel gets this gleam in his eye and goes "Don't you mean...a quarter horse?" I just about died laughing. All of his horse knowledge had been picked up since dating me, so I was quite proud he was clever enough to think of the joke!
> 
> The other day I was riding Zierra, and she has a pink headstall for her hackamore and I had a teenage girl walk up to pet her and compliment her on her halter! It was a situation where she was obviously trying to impress her friends (who were scared), so I just let her have it! :lol: Close enough anyway right?
> 
> A couple weeks ago, me and Ashley were at the ranch and I was hand grazing Jynx while Ashley was sitting on Justus who's grazing (Justus is a 14.1hh Welsh X Appy/Mustang pony). This family comes over, and want to pet the horses. They're going on about how they used to own horses and such, and the father actually seemed quite knowledge and was in love with Jynx. The mom had me in stitches because first she gasped and said she'd NEVER known anybody to dye their horses tail like I did! (Jynx has a black and white tail). I gently explained to her it was just her color (she thought it was just as cool).
> 
> And then she asks if Justus is a racehorse, and without waiting for an answer, she goes "Oh no, she's to big to be a racehorse." I kind of just stood there without anything to say because how do you really answer that?!



Hahahah when I was younger I used to tell my dad I wanted a quarter horse and he kept asking me what I was gonna do with the other 3 quarters.


----------



## JumperStride

^ My dad still makes that joke about all my quarters -.- 'if thats a quarter, I don't wanna know what you think a full horse is!' he thinks he's very funny lol

Now, both my parents took a few lessons here and there as kids, and having a super obsessed horsey daughter has taught them a few things. But to this day my mom gives me only one piece of advice when she comes to watch me ride at shows. 
'Smile casey!' I think she heard my trainer say it once when I was in new rider (ohhhh...ten years ago?) and figured it was sound advice. My dad just chirps whatever my he remebers my trainer said in our last lesson...well parts of it.
'Remeber to make sure he gets his back ends!' 
'Check your lateral!'
I love them lol <3


----------



## LoveStory10

Lol I have another one. I have a friend who is 2 years younger than me, not that it matters of course, but anyway. I get a random post on my wall once:

"Dani.! I must ask a question about horses - you know those ribbonny thingys you get when you win something ( dah, course you do . . . ) Anywayz, are you supposed to stick them on the horse.???"

Me: "A rossete? They go on the bridle of the horse, not on the actual horse lol. Why?"

Friend: "What is a bridle.???? I'm just .. curious."

Me: "The thing on the horses head. Go look at a photo of Love Story, the pretty shiny thing on her forehead? Part of the bridle " (I didnt quite know how to explain)

Friend: "I thought the ribbonny thing was stuck to the horse's nose!!"

Ummmm, nope.


----------



## ridingismylife2

Loving this thread! 

i was talking about my riding lesson with my friends and one of them says that she's scared of them even though she's never seen one/touched one in real life, and I asked her why... She said that they have huge mouths and she's scared that they could eat her.  haha...

I hate it when people say riding isn't a sport. A few of my friends have said that it's not and that we just sit on them...grrr...


----------



## flamingauburnmustang

^^ I get that too, where people think that you don't get any exercise when riding a horse and surely it can't be hard work... :roll:


----------



## LoveStory10

Lol, do what I do. Offer to let them try. Its classic, they go pale, and like, stammer an excuse: "Um n...no, no its fine."

mwahahahaha


----------



## flamingauburnmustang

LOL. The most common reason is that they are too scared/they are allergic... :razz:


----------



## LoveStory10

Or in the case of the people in my grade, think they know everything there is to know about horses :roll:

So I asked some one, "Ok cool, so tell me, whats a thoroughbred?"

"A horse."

WOW... Really??? I never knew that!!! :shock::roll::clap::rofl::mrgreen:


----------



## qha4

once a kid in my grade told me he could gallop a horse in a circle for an hour whil playing his psp..... shure ya can


----------



## horsegirlmaddy

LOL I just love it when people go out on trail rides and they're like "OMG MY HORSE BOLTED!!!!!" when they get back. My one friend had never ridden before, and she was absolutely ADAMANT that her horse had galloped and she had barely stayed on. So I was like, "How many beats were there when she was running?" like I was totally curious. She's like "Two! That's why it was so bumpy, right?" Yes. That would be a trot.


----------



## HorseOfCourse

My aunt got a foster kid named Lakin who told us all about the horses she used to ride. She had one named Bella that she said she rode all the time and it was a perfect horse that she could jump and anything and it listened so well all the time and blahblahblah..She finally brought pictures/videos...it was a mini.


----------



## Hunter65

HorseOfCourse said:


> My aunt got a foster kid named Lakin who told us all about the horses she used to ride. She had one named Bella that she said she rode all the time and it was a perfect horse that she could jump and anything and it listened so well all the time and blahblahblah..She finally brought pictures/videos...it was a mini.



**** that's funny


----------



## UnrealJumper

lol! These are great. I remember once I had a friend over and I was tacking up, it was the summer so the horse was swishing his tail and my friend said "AWW look! the horsie is wagging his tail!"


----------



## LoveStory10

LOL ^^ thats a good one, "its wagging its tail." ay ay ay. hahaha let me think, some one once told me that Im NOT allowed to ride my horse, I asked why, and they tell me she hurt her back leg.Ok, so I go check her to see if I have to do anything for it, guess what she was doing? Just RESTING her hind leg! lol

But I gave her credit. To some one that diddnt know, like her, it could look as if the horse's leg is sore.


----------



## Hunter65

Here is a good one from craigslist today about a pony mare for sale

"Could be sold bred to our 14.1hh paint pony *gelding* but not bred yet because we didn't really want to waste this talented pony as a brood mare"

hmmmm... that I would like to see


----------



## RogueMare

I took my now Ex out to the barn a couple times(NOT a horse person), and one time the BO had put his mini grey in a stall where there was normally a grey arabian(That was outside at the time). He took one look at it and goes "What happened to his legs, he can't even see over the stall anymore?!" In a completely serious tone. I almost died laughing.


----------



## kumquat27

it's funny cause im talking to my nonhorsey friend right now as i read this as she goes on about how it's not much of a sport :wink:


----------



## Eliz

My first horse had a blue eye.

One day I was at a barrel race with her and someone asked if she was blind in that eye.

Er, no...


----------



## BFFofHorses

My dad who is a 'cowboy' and will ride 'anything' watched that famous video of Stacy Westfall and was talking to all my friend's borders about it saying how incredible it was, then turned to me and asked "what does she do leah?dressage?" haha NO DAD its REINING. completely different.


----------



## BJJ

Mmmmm...some of these sound like they came from people in our riding group!


----------



## Sunny

I got a new magazine in the mail, and on the cover it has a horse with a flymask. My brother saw it and said, "Poor horse!" and I said, "Why?" and he goes, "Can it see?" Yes, he can see.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## eventing101

We had a french girl who rode at our barn and was speaking in french to her horse and i was showing a dad who wanted his daughter to take lessons around the barn and he asked if she was speaking "the language of the horse" XD I was like umm no thats french


----------



## LilacsGirl

As a breeder, with lots of foals around the farm, I'm always amused by folks who can't understand that my kids' pony isn't going to "grow up" like the other babies!


----------



## horsegirlmaddy

This isn't a dumb non-horsey person thing, but it's just funny

We have a fat pony who had 8 foals in a row (!) before we got her, and on top of her baby belly, she's got extra fat, too. So EVERYONE that sees her for the first time asks if she's pregnant! The first time, it's understandable, but after twenty or so people, I'm just like "NO!!!!! GEEZ SHE'S JUST FAT!". But one of the lesson student's moms (after being with us for like 3 years) was like "Oh my god, Pepper has been pregnant FOREVER! When is she going to foal?!" I just sighed. Especially since her daughter rides Pepper almost every week!


----------



## Hunter65

horsegirlmaddy said:


> This isn't a dumb non-horsey person thing, but it's just funny
> 
> We have a fat pony who had 8 foals in a row (!) before we got her, and on top of her baby belly, she's got extra fat, too. So EVERYONE that sees her for the first time asks if she's pregnant! The first time, it's understandable, but after twenty or so people, I'm just like "NO!!!!! GEEZ SHE'S JUST FAT!". But one of the lesson student's moms (after being with us for like 3 years) was like "Oh my god, Pepper has been pregnant FOREVER! When is she going to foal?!" I just sighed. Especially since her daughter rides Pepper almost every week!


Thats funny. My dogs name is pepper - and she is fat too lol


----------



## apachiedragon

I once read an ad on Craigslist where someone was trying to sell a "Gelging". I know it wasn't a typo because they repeated it three times in the ad. I was scratching my head on that one.


----------



## Eliz

^^
LOL I've seen those. And "Gildings". Craigslist Crazies. 

On hot days I like to rinse my horses off before I turn them out. One evening this lady pulled up my driveway. She started yelling at me about how I worked the horse way too hard... its covered in sweat!!
Umm, no, thats water but thanks for sticking your nose where it doesn't belong!!


----------



## TheRoughrider21

Asking how I tie-died my Paint horses. =/


----------



## springinmeadow

Eliz said:


> ^^
> LOL I've seen those. And "Gildings". Craigslist Crazies.
> 
> On hot days I like to rinse my horses off before I turn them out. One evening this lady pulled up my driveway. She started yelling at me about how I worked the horse way too hard... its covered in sweat!!
> Umm, no, thats water but thanks for sticking your nose where it doesn't belong!!


 goodness I am surprised the hose didn't turn with u as you turned to talke with this woman, I assume her window was down. I wonder if she had tightly curled permed hair.


----------



## taylorjane17

I have a paint and he has one blue eye. I have had a TON of people come and ask me if hes blind in that eye.


----------



## blink

The worst people are non-horsey people who have horses!

This is from a current CL ad. 

_"9 registered quarter horses for sale 2 guildings, 2 studs, the rest mares one ready to foul at any time."

_I'm not making this up. Here's the ad.


----------



## apachiedragon

never know what you'll find on CL. it's always good for a laugh. feel bad for the horses though...


----------



## blink

Yeah, I feel especially bad for those mares who may "foul" at any time!

Hopefully it's just an issue of weak grammar and spelling and not necessarily bad horsemanship.


----------



## LilacsGirl

*No way!*



blink said:


> The worst people are non-horsey people who have horses!
> 
> This is from a current CL ad.
> 
> _"9 registered quarter horses for sale 2 guildings, 2 studs, the rest mares one ready to foul at any time."
> 
> _I'm not making this up. Here's the ad.


Unbelievable!! Thanks for this one - I think this is the best one so far. 
I wonder if it will be a foul filly, or a foul colt?


----------



## Speed Racer

I think those two things go hand in hand, blink.

If an owner can't spell _gelding, foal, farrier, stallion, _or_ mare, _I'm of the opinion they know squat about horses.

If they're functionally illiterate and really _do_ know horses, they should have someone else write their ad copy.

As it is, they look like ignorant, uneducated buffoons. Never a good thing to a prospective buyer.

Of course, it appears that our public school system is turning out functional illiterates constantly, if the posters on this and other BBs are any example.


----------



## blink

I know, speed, I know...

It's sad and scary that someone without even a basic grasp of the language might have stewardship over 9 horses.

If they aren't well-read enough to be able to spell the basics, then it's likely they don't have much education (formal or otherwise) on best practices for horse care and treatment.

I was trying to be optimistic.

But like your avatar says, you're more the "ouchy bleedy" type. (That's hilarious, by the way.)

blink


----------



## Speed Racer

Yeah, I'm not going to pat someone on the head when what they really need is a whack with the clue stick! Repeatedly. :twisted:


----------



## Indyhorse

That ad gave me pause for a minute.....wasn't there recently a post on here somewhere about 9 horses stolen in AR? Seems like there was at least one stallion and gelding, and a few mares with foals....


----------



## LilacsGirl

Indyhorse said:


> That ad gave me pause for a minute.....wasn't there recently a post on here somewhere about 9 horses stolen in AR? Seems like there was at least one stallion and gelding, and a few mares with foals....


Ooooh. That sounds about right. 
It would explain the horsey-ignorance. 
Now I'm REALLY worried about those equines.

Can somebody report this?


----------



## Speed Racer

The nine that were stolen were apparently found and returned to their owners.


----------



## blink

Is the stolen report listed here on the board?

Would someone really be stupid enough to sell stolen horses on CL in the same state they stole them from? 

blink


----------



## Indyhorse

blink said:


> Is the stolen report listed here on the board?
> 
> Would someone really be stupid enough to sell stolen horses on CL in the same state they stole them from?
> 
> blink


Yes, seen it done too many times, or often advertised in the next county over, etc.

However, as Speedracer said, they have been found, along with I just looked up the stolen horse posting, and the horse descriptions were different, as well as I had the state wrong, they went missing out of Alberta, CA, not AR. My mistake for mentioning before looking! *lol*

(here is the stolen horse post, anyways)

http://www.horseforum.com/stolen-horses/nine-stolen-horses-east-tofield-59713/


----------



## blink

Oops. Sent an email to OP on that stolen horse listing. Should have read further down.

_(Note to self: Duck quickly. Here comes speedracer with her clue stick.)_


----------



## Speed Racer

blink said:


> _(Note to self: Duck quickly. Here comes speedracer with her clue stick.)_



:rofl:

Nope, honest mistakes get no whack from the clue stick. 

It's only for the people who insist that they're RIGHT DAGNABBIT, when everyone is telling them they're wrong. 

Oh, and for functional illiterates, although I think their parents should be whacked too, for letting them graduate without learning how to read, write, and spell properly. :wink:


----------



## Sunny

I am a spelling and grammar nazi. It infuriates me when people, whether on here or otherwise, spell incorrecty and there is no punctuation to be found. If they honestly /can't/, I have a bit more sympathy. It's the text-speak and abbreviations that really get to me. But, like said above, if they have any experience in the world of buying and selling horses, they would have someone else type up the ad for them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## dee

I, too am big on spelling and grammer - I just can't type very well. However - you know you are in for trouble when your kids go to school where the English teacher says "Ain't!"


----------



## Speed Racer

dee said:


> However - you know you are in for trouble when your kids go to school where the English teacher says "Ain't!"


Dear merciful heavens, I think my head just exploded. :-x :evil:


----------



## blink

sunny

jeese relacks allreddy kant imajin whutts butherin u sew badd

:wink:

blink


----------



## Speed Racer

blink said:


> sunny
> 
> jeese relacks allreddy kant imajin whutts butherin u sew badd
> 
> :wink:
> 
> blink


GASP!!! :shock:

Whacks blink with the clue stick repeatedly about the head and shoulders. BAD blink! BAD!!!


----------



## draftrider

My sister once asked me when I needed to give the horses pedicures again. She wanted to pick the polish color. (she was 25 at the time).

The funniest thing was... I have a dear friend who loves horses. She loves everything about them. She constantly begged me to go riding, and I asked if she had ever ridden before. She said yes, she had ridden many times, but not for years.

I put her on Belle, who is the horse my 3 and 9 yr old nieces ride- bareback. She is very careful with novice riders. So Faith got on Belle, and I showed her "steering". I told her do NOT pull back on the reins, just SAY the word whoa and roll your hips back a bit and she will stop. I showed her how to move her off her leg etc. The reins are just there for decoration, I told her. Don't touch them!

So she carefully squeezed her forwards, and after Belle went about 15 feet at a nice slow walk Faith panicked, grabbed the reins and screamed "STOP STOP SHE IS GOING TO FAST STOP!!!!!!!!!!" and Belle stopped, but she kept yanking the reins. Belle decided that was enough so she slowly and very carefully sat down like a dog, and put Faith back on the ground where she belongs.

I then grilled her as to WHERE her riding experience was from- and she told me...

The pony go rounds at the county fair.


WTF!!! 


To this day, she still tells people she was bucked off my horse. I just roll my eyes.


----------



## Speed Racer

draft, I'd _love_ to have a mare like Belle! :clap:

"Obviously you can't ride, so back on the ground you go." :rofl:


----------



## dee

I wish my mare was like that. She's not nearly so gentle - if you annoy her, it's over her head you go!


----------



## Hunter65

These are all so good. I am a little anal on the whole lose loose thing. You don't loose a shoe but you might lose one. And can someone please tell me what a "round pin" is, I have seen this many times apparently they are good for training a new horse. ****


----------



## maura

dee, 

At my child's expensive private school, one of her teachers repeatedly says "Anyways..." My child is forbidden to correct her, because not correcting your elders is higher on my list than bad grammar, but frankly, it's tempting...

Draft, I love your story. One of my horses did that to a clueless person who claimed to have riding experience (poor horse was running backwards and the idiot kept hauling on the reins and yelling whoa.) Someone later asked me what happened and I said "Johnny gave her the opportunity to dismount and she wisely took it."


----------



## Delfina

My boss hired a group to bring in a petting zoo and a ring of ponies for our Company Party. My 6yr old climbed on and was horrified to find their saddles came with seat belts! I told her just to ignore it, the attendant asked if I was sure she'd be ok. I told him that she normally rides a 16H horse, so she'd be just fine. 

Attendant was still very concerned, so I showed him a pic on my cellphone of her riding. Attendant was blown over, turns out he's NEVER been on a horse and is pretty terrified of them. But yet he works at a pony place doing kiddo rides!


----------



## draftrider

Pony go round things are just evil.


----------



## TheRoughrider21

I told ym friend that my horse was a "push-button" type of horse. She looked at him and said, "Where's the buttons?" and she was dead serious.


----------



## springinmeadow

Speed Racer said:


> I think those two things go hand in hand, blink.
> 
> If an owner can't spell _gelding, foal, farrier, stallion, _or_ mare, _I'm of the opinion they know squat about horses.
> 
> If they're functionally illiterate and really _do_ know horses, they should have someone else write their ad copy.
> 
> As it is, they look like ignorant, uneducated buffoons. Never a good thing to a prospective buyer.
> 
> Of course, it appears that our public school system is turning out functional illiterates constantly, if the posters on this and other BBs are any example.


 It is turning out illiterates (our PSS.) Very disturbing trend. I don't think the kids should pass just to get "rid" of them/


----------



## Sunny

blink said:


> sunny
> 
> jeese relacks allreddy kant imajin whutts butherin u sew badd
> 
> :wink:
> 
> blink


 Oh, Lord, just reading that makes me want to vomit. :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## A knack for horses

Indyhorse said:


> Yes, seen it done too many times, or often advertised in the next county over, etc.
> 
> However, as Speedracer said, they have been found, along with I just looked up the stolen horse posting, and the horse descriptions were different, as well as I had the state wrong, they went missing out of Alberta, CA, not AR. My mistake for mentioning before looking! *lol*
> 
> (here is the stolen horse post, anyways)
> 
> http://www.horseforum.com/stolen-horses/nine-stolen-horses-east-tofield-59713/


I have seen some stupid horse snatchers. About a year ago, a horse got stolen from the local college. It was a gorgeous solid buckskin QH valued at $25,000 dollars. Everybody in the college was devastated, and searching frantically to get him back. After a month and no leads, the search was starting to slow down. 

Well, apparently the guy who stole the horse had some knowledge on horses, but I wouldn't be hiring him to smuggle priceless art across the sea. Well, the town where the college is located was having a parade. And guess what horse was in the parade......Oh was the Dean p*ssed. 
 and he still has 3 years to serve in prision.


----------



## springinmeadow

Ahhhhhhhhhh


----------



## blink

Figure I should post this before speedracer does...

I actually started a thread earlier today asking about "reigning" horses.

Repeated the mistake several times within the post, as well.

There, I admitted it. I feel better.

blink


----------



## Sunny

Blink, I saw the thread and made the "ughh" sound when I saw the error. :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## blink

...better than "raining"


----------



## Speed Racer

Indeed. At least you only put a superfluous 'g' in there, instead of a word that means precipitation! :lol:

Blink, you made a mistake. I can deal with people who make them and are able to take a little ribbing about them. Even with being a Grammar Nazi, I sometimes make spelling and grammatical errors, too. 

I haz a shame. 

It's the people who can't spell at all and whose grammar is atrocious, that make my eyes bleed and my brain go into vapor lock.

Then they make things even worse by _defending_ their ignorance and saying it doesn't matter if they don't know how to communicate properly! Gah! :evil:

Yeah, see how far that gets you in the corporate world. Better start practicing saying, "Would you like fries with that?"

Or more realistically, "D'you wan' fries wit dat?"


----------



## Sunny

Speed Racer said:


> It's the people who can't spell at all and whose grammar is atrocious, that make my eyes bleed and my brain go into vapor lock.
> 
> Then they make things even worse by _defending_ their ignorance and saying it doesn't matter if they don't know how to communicate properly! Gah! :evil:
> 
> Yeah, see how far that gets you in the corporate world. Better start practicing saying, "Would you like fries with that?"
> 
> Or more realistically, "D'you wan' fries wit dat?"


 Agreed. :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## barrelracer892

SR, the spelling mistake that ****es me off the most is, "I start COLLAGE this fall." If they don't even know how to spell "college" then how in the world did they get accepted in? Haha!

Another is the difference of to and too, its and it's, they're and their, your and you're. I see that all the time on Facebook and it makes me want to hack their profile and spell it correctly!


----------



## Speed Racer

Lose and loose drive me crazy, too.

You LOSE an item, you LOSE your mind, you LOSE a competition.

You set something LOOSE. You can LOOSEN and LOSE your shoelaces, but not if you LOSE them first! :lol:

Break and brake. Sound the same, spelled differently, and mean completely different things. If you tell me you're going to BRAKE your horse, I'm going to ponder how you're teaching him to stop under saddle before he's even been trained to carry a rider.

Gate and gait. NOT the same, people! A GATE is a hinged entryway/exit between fencing. A GAIT is how your horse travels by foot.

ConFORmation, not conFIRmation. If you tell me about your horse's confirmation, I'm going to wonder why you felt the need to make him a Catholic.

Also, the ridiculous and flagrant misuse of apostrophes. Its denotes possession. His, hers, ITS, not it's. It's means 'it is'. 

_Horses_ means plural animals, _horse's_ means your horse has something that belongs to him. If you want to denote something that belongs to all of your horses you spell it _horses'_. As in, my _horses'_ water buckets need to be cleaned.

It's shameful how many U.S. citizens know only one language, but are content to wallow in ignorance of how to spell and use proper grammar.


----------



## Lis

Speed Racer said:


> Lose and loose drive me crazy, too.
> 
> You LOSE an item, you LOSE your mind, you LOSE a competition.
> 
> You set something LOOSE. You can LOOSEN and LOSE your shoelaces, but not if you LOSE them first! :lol:
> 
> Break and brake. Sound the same, spelled differently, and mean completely different things. If you tell me you're going to BRAKE your horse, I'm going to ponder how you're teaching him to stop under saddle before he's even been trained to carry a rider.
> 
> Gate and gait. NOT the same, people! A GATE is a hinged entryway/exit between fencing. A GAIT is how your horse travels by foot.
> 
> ConFORmation, not conFIRmation. If you tell me about your horse's confirmation, I'm going to wonder why you felt the need to make him a Catholic.
> 
> Also, the ridiculous and flagrant misuse of apostrophes. Its denotes possession. His, hers, ITS, not it's. It's means 'it is'.
> 
> _Horses_ means plural animals, _horse's_ means your horse has something that belongs to him. If you want to denote something that belongs to all of your horses you spell it _horses'_. As in, my _horses'_ water buckets need to be cleaned.
> 
> It's shameful how many U.S. citizens know only one language, but are content to wallow in ignorance of how to spell and use proper grammar.


May I thank you for making my day with that? It's good to have a giggle before you have to go serve fast food for five hours.


----------



## Speed Racer

Lis said:


> May I thank you for making my day with that? It's good to have a giggle before you have to go serve fast food for five hours.


You're welcome, and my deepest condolences.

I worked food service for a number of years. That's the reason I hate 'The Public'. Individual people tend to be fine, it's just when they mass together and become 'The Public' that I want to pour gasoline on them and set them on fire! :twisted:


----------



## Alwaysbehind

Speed, I am just going to apologize now for all my crappy spelling and horrible inability to use the English language properly. (Maybe I had too much fun sniffing those mimeograph copies :wink: ) If it makes you feel any better I am unable to type in text speak too. Hey, but I do know when to use too, to and two  .


Blink, maybe your reining horse was actually a reigning horse..... How do we know that horse was not a leader of some place?


----------



## Speed Racer

Always, you get a pass because I know you actually _try._ 

There's a _huge_ difference between making mistakes and trying hard not to make them, than being deliberately and antagonistically belligerent and proud of being functionally illiterate. 

We all have words we automatically misspell. For me it's Spanish. I always want to spell it _Spainish, _even though I know it doesn't have that extra i. :wink:


----------



## Alwaysbehind

I do try. Even though my brain and my fingers do not always go along for the ride with me.

I have Dictionary.com in my favorites too.


----------



## Indyhorse

Speed Racer said:


> Lose and loose drive me crazy, too.
> 
> You LOSE an item, you LOSE your mind, you LOSE a competition.
> 
> You set something LOOSE. You can LOOSEN and LOSE your shoelaces, but not if you LOSE them first! :lol:
> 
> Break and brake. Sound the same, spelled differently, and mean completely different things. If you tell me you're going to BRAKE your horse, I'm going to ponder how you're teaching him to stop under saddle before he's even been trained to carry a rider.
> 
> Gate and gait. NOT the same, people! A GATE is a hinged entryway/exit between fencing. A GAIT is how your horse travels by foot.
> 
> ConFORmation, not conFIRmation. If you tell me about your horse's confirmation, I'm going to wonder why you felt the need to make him a Catholic.
> 
> Also, the ridiculous and flagrant misuse of apostrophes. Its denotes possession. His, hers, ITS, not it's. It's means 'it is'.
> 
> _Horses_ means plural animals, _horse's_ means your horse has something that belongs to him. If you want to denote something that belongs to all of your horses you spell it _horses'_. As in, my _horses'_ water buckets need to be cleaned.
> 
> It's shameful how many U.S. citizens know only one language, but are content to wallow in ignorance of how to spell and use proper grammar.


*practically crying* :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

I think you hit on all the biggest ones for me too, there!

Heck we all screw up. A mis-key or typo from time to time wont bother me. *Politely ignoring SR's one above* :lol::lol: Text speak or "u r gr8" kind of stuff makes me want to rip my hair out.

Having been raised by an english teacher has it's advantages, and I don't hold everyone to my standards, but I DO expect most everyone on here to be able to communicate using at LEAST third grade levels.

Most of the time it seems I expect too much. :?


----------



## TheRoughrider21

Speed Racer said:


> Lose and loose drive me crazy, too.
> 
> You LOSE an item, you LOSE your mind, you LOSE a competition.
> 
> You set something LOOSE. You can LOOSEN and LOSE your shoelaces, but not if you LOSE them first! :lol:
> 
> Break and brake. Sound the same, spelled differently, and mean completely different things. If you tell me you're going to BRAKE your horse, I'm going to ponder how you're teaching him to stop under saddle before he's even been trained to carry a rider.
> 
> Gate and gait. NOT the same, people! A GATE is a hinged entryway/exit between fencing. A GAIT is how your horse travels by foot.
> 
> ConFORmation, not conFIRmation. If you tell me about your horse's confirmation, I'm going to wonder why you felt the need to make him a Catholic.
> 
> Also, the ridiculous and flagrant misuse of apostrophes. Its denotes possession. His, hers, ITS, not it's. It's means 'it is'.
> 
> _Horses_ means plural animals, _horse's_ means your horse has something that belongs to him. If you want to denote something that belongs to all of your horses you spell it _horses'_. As in, my _horses'_ water buckets need to be cleaned.
> 
> It's shameful how many U.S. citizens know only one language, but are content to wallow in ignorance of how to spell and use proper grammar.


Ahhh, this made my morning! Honestly, even when I text people, I always use correct grammer and punctiounation(I know its not spelled right...sorry). It irks me when people use text talk in typing and even worse when they say it. I'm not really a spelling Nazi but when anyone is writing something, I'm mentally correcting it. And when they're talking...oh boy a little piece inside of me dies a little. =)


----------



## draftrider

I do my best- but I do tend to flip letters still because I have dyslexia. I also tend to write how I speak- roughly, peppered with profanity. =)


----------



## Speed Racer

Indyhorse said:


> *Politely ignoring SR's one above* :lol::lol:


Oh noes, I is ashamed!!!! Where is it? Sobs uncontrollably....


----------



## Indyhorse

Oh, oh, USER ERROR! Haha. I just re-read your post to point out your typo and realized _I misread_, you didn't make a mistake. Oh the bittersweet taste of irony....


----------



## Speed Racer

Indyhorse said:


> Oh, oh, USER ERROR! Haha. I just re-read your post to point out your typo and realized _I misread_, you didn't make a mistake. Oh the bittersweet taste of irony....


Praise de Lawd! I kept reading it and couldn't find it, either. I thought maybe I just couldn't _see_ it. Whew! :rofl:


----------



## Alwaysbehind

Indyhorse said:


> but I DO expect most everyone on here to be able to communicate using at LEAST third grade levels.


*Happy Dance!

Third grade level.... I can do that.


----------



## draftrider

Third grade level, check.


----------



## jamesqf

draftrider said:


> I do my best- but I do tend to flip letters still because I have dyslexia.


Oddly enough, I do that a lot too, even though I'm not dyslexic. Just dystypic, I guess.


----------



## Regan7312

Speed Racer said:


> Lose and loose drive me crazy, too.
> 
> You LOSE an item, you LOSE your mind, you LOSE a competition.
> 
> You set something LOOSE. You can LOOSEN and LOSE your shoelaces, but not if you LOSE them first! :lol:
> 
> Break and brake. Sound the same, spelled differently, and mean completely different things. If you tell me you're going to BRAKE your horse, I'm going to ponder how you're teaching him to stop under saddle before he's even been trained to carry a rider.
> 
> Gate and gait. NOT the same, people! A GATE is a hinged entryway/exit between fencing. A GAIT is how your horse travels by foot.
> 
> ConFORmation, not conFIRmation. If you tell me about your horse's confirmation, I'm going to wonder why you felt the need to make him a Catholic.
> 
> Also, the ridiculous and flagrant misuse of apostrophes. Its denotes possession. His, hers, ITS, not it's. It's means 'it is'.
> 
> _Horses_ means plural animals, _horse's_ means your horse has something that belongs to him. If you want to denote something that belongs to all of your horses you spell it _horses'_. As in, my _horses'_ water buckets need to be cleaned.
> 
> It's shameful how many U.S. citizens know only one language, but are content to wallow in ignorance of how to spell and use proper grammar.


 
haha i LOVE this!


----------



## tempest

And you know what? There are people in America who are trying to make spelling bees easier by .... well why don't you just read about it. I'm tired of typing.

National Spelling Bee protests: Should we simplify English spelling? - CSMonitor.com

It nauseates me just looking at how they are spelling things near the bottom. And you know what? (This is going to sound weird) The voice that says what I read in my mind sounds stupid and like it's not intelligent at all. 

For example, read this silently and think about how it's said in your mind: How. Does. This. Sound. In. Your. Mind? and HOW DOES THIS SOUND IN YOUR MIND?


----------



## Indyhorse

tempest said:


> And you know what? There are people in America who are trying to make spelling bees easier by .... well why don't you just read about it. I'm tired of typing.
> 
> National Spelling Bee protests: Should we simplify English spelling? - CSMonitor.com
> 
> It nauseates me just looking at how they are spelling things near the bottom. And you know what? (This is going to sound weird) The voice that says what I read in my mind sounds stupid and like it's not intelligent at all.
> 
> For example, read this silently and think about how it's said in your mind: How. Does. This. Sound. In. Your. Mind? and HOW DOES THIS SOUND IN YOUR MIND?



Nauseating is the word, for sure. I can't imagine that would gain enough support. I mean - FOUR WHOLE picketers? Really?


----------



## inaclick

We have same issue here and I guess it's a worldwide issue. 

When I was in highschool I was told that only the cream of the crop gets to attend University studies. You can't imagine my shock when I discovered a quite large % of plain illiterate morons that were swimming happily in the "cream of the crop" sea.

Same with my first corporate job. Seriously, for a person who is an IT tech, you'd expect them to spell a sentence in their native language correctly.

I avoid correcting people in English because it's not my native language, but I do jump at the throat of any living being 12+ aged that murders our own language 

The worst argument I hear is "it doesn't matter how you spell it, all it matters is that I intended to write and I was in a hurry / couldn't be arsed / was lazy"

No. NO. It's exactly like saying "It doesn't matter if I have sh!t on my undies, all that matters is the intention of wiping my butt"


----------



## GreyRay

tempest said:


> And you know what? There are people in America who are trying to make spelling bees easier by .... well why don't you just read about it. I'm tired of typing.
> 
> National Spelling Bee protests: Should we simplify English spelling? - CSMonitor.com
> 
> It nauseates me just looking at how they are spelling things near the bottom. And you know what? (This is going to sound weird) The voice that says what I read in my mind sounds stupid and like it's not intelligent at all.
> 
> For example, read this silently and think about how it's said in your mind: How. Does. This. Sound. In. Your. Mind? and HOW DOES THIS SOUND IN YOUR MIND?


I remember spelling like that when I was 5. Hey, what more could you expect from a nation thats average IQ is 95...? **** I couldn't even finish reading that once it went into baby babble!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## reveriesgirly

SO ; we were driving down the road and the neighbors got a new horse. i had my friend with me and the horse was big and black. thats all i could make out of it. and she looks at me and says; is that a black stallion ? my response was . does it have nuts ? she was like ; ohmygod. i thought that was a breed. L0L


----------



## Indyhorse

inaclick said:


> The worst argument I hear is "it doesn't matter how you spell it, all it matters is that I intended to write and I was in a hurry / couldn't be arsed / was lazy"
> 
> No. NO. It's exactly like saying "It doesn't matter if I have sh!t on my undies, all that matters is the intention of wiping my butt"


:rofl::clap::rofl::clap::rofl::clap::rofl::clap:


----------



## aspin231

So, back to the OP for this story-

My horse has bad feet. They usually have a least one small crack, and multiple chips. He can't wear shoes, but he does get hoof supplements and hoof moisturizer and stays completely sound. Also, I'm saving my money for some easyboots.

Anyways- My brother's friend (my age), his name is Chris, came to see my horse one day, as he loves horses. Chris has ADHD and turrets, so is a little hyper. He took one look at my horse's hooves and said "I guess he needs new ones, eh?"

It took me a sec, but then I figured out what he meant.


----------



## corinowalk

The spelling thing is super annoying. I never have claimed to be a great writer but WOW, you can usually understand what I am saying!


----------



## ILuv2ride

Ive had some interesting things said to me....
I was told that horseback riding is not a sport...
I have been told by a guy that he can ride my horse and do better than me. Ive been riding for 7 yrs. he hasnt been. And my horse is a greenie.. he didnt know what that was...
And I brought my friend to the barn.. she was afraid to pet my horse because he was big and vicious... he was not that big.. but she wanted to pet the horse next to him who was WAY bigger. then she chickened out and we had to leave... FAIL


----------



## draftrider

The thing that bothers me the most is the damned Ebonics crap, and the "Hood Slang" stuff.

A crib is where babies sleep, not where grownups live.

A hoe is a gardening tool.

A hood is the lid on the front of a car, not a place where you hang out and smoke dope.

I heard a lady on the phone at Walmart tell her friend that "That ho Jezzy is nassy always bumpin her bootymeat". I was like WTF??!! Apparently Jezzy likes to shake her bum bum for the boys. 

People. You live in America. Our official language is English. Freaking use it!


----------



## Arksly

I am also bothered by improper spelling and grammar errors. But, everyone slips sometimes. For example, today I painted a sign and instead of putting down Saturday I ended up writing saturay.... What makes it even worse is that I was singing a song that goes S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y hey!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## RedTree

haha I just though of one my friends mum thought.
My friend had just bought her pony 13.2hh I think and her mu was like yer its good cos she will growup with her  she thought it went foal pony horse LOL


----------



## Hunter65

RedTree said:


> haha I just though of one my friends mum thought.
> My friend had just bought her pony 13.2hh I think and her mu was like yer its good cos she will growup with her  she thought it went foal pony horse LOL



hahahaha I know sooooo many people that think that.


----------



## Indyhorse

RedTree said:


> haha I just though of one my friends mum thought.
> My friend had just bought her pony 13.2hh I think and her mu was like yer its good cos she will growup with her  she thought it went foal pony horse LOL



Urgh I hear that one a lot, people say how nice it is I got my son such a "young baby horse" to grow up with....I'm like, uh, she's 10, she's not still growing, she's a PONY!


----------



## Baby Doll Amy

this girl from my school she rode horses but wasn't quiet the smartest person said she could ride really well and said she could jump jumps a lil smaller than Olympic size i asked her how big it was and she said like 2 foot ! ahahahah i couldnt help myself laughing...


----------



## blink

inaclick said:


> No. NO. It's exactly like saying "It doesn't matter if I have sh!t on my undies, all that matters is the intention of wiping my butt"


For the record, I'm a lot more tolerant of bad grammar and spelling than that particular malfunction. 

I'm probably getting soft in my old age...

blink


----------



## lilkitty90

i happen to make plenty of typos! lol i don't think i have dyslexia but i do have dyslexic typing and dyslexic speech ahaha!! like once i said "there is brick on the ice!" instead of "there is ice on the brick" but i try to catch most of my typos before i hit send and since my computer doesn't have spell check that doesn't help much either lol

and for the topic my biggest pet peeve is when i am Ponying sparta off my mustang people come up and say "can i pet your pony??" "aww he's such a cute little pony" or when we have the pony out and the kids are riding him they say "awww how old is this one?? he's a cute little baby!"


----------



## dee

lilkitty90 said:


> "can i pet your pony??" "aww he's such a cute little pony" or when we have the pony out and the kids are riding him they say "awww how old is this one?? he's a cute little baby!"


What, kitty, don't you think Sparta's cute? :lol:


----------



## lilkitty90

lol i love my sparta xD i just wish people wouldn't call him a pony haha


----------



## jamesqf

tempest said:


> For example, read this silently and think about how it's said in your mind: How. Does. This. Sound. In. Your. Mind? and HOW DOES THIS SOUND IN YOUR MIND?


Does it matter how it sounds? Or even whether it sounds? I can read & write several languages, but can't really speak them, or understand people speaking them. Even in English, I have a far larger reading vocabulary than spoken, so that it's not uncommon for me to hear a word spoken and not recognize it, even though I'm perfectly familiar with it in writing.

Then too, the whole point of having different spellings for words that sound the same is to make it possible to distinguish the different meanings.


----------



## Starlet

I will try to use conversational english instead of sounding like I'm talking practiced english. As english being a second language, I do know how hard it can be with spelling certain words. For example, I have trouble with were and where, to too and two, and them and those when I am writing or typing. I constantly look over my typing or writing and scan it, looking for ways to change the words to make the text sound more relaxed and conversational instead of practiced and "stiff" looking typing. I also happen to think that english is one of the toughest languages to learn. There are a lot of rules that do not always seem to apply and too many silent letters. The letters have more then one sound are also my weakness when it comes to spelling.
Sorry, I may be confusing you guys and you may not even know what I am talking about.


----------



## EA Alayna

There is a college kid working at the farm with me. We've taught him quite a lot of horse stuff. So I was walking with him as he led out the only black TB on the farm. He gets excited when he is turned out and acts studly even though he is only a gelding. So he was neighing and pawing with his front legs. I asked the kid to move to the side so he didn't get kicked but I was too late. The horses kicked out with his front leg hitting the college kid in the arm which caused him to hit himself in the head. He immediately began laughing and ever since he called the horse the black ninja.


----------



## Speed Racer

Starlet, I understood everything you posted, so no worries. 

Those for whom English is their native and usually _only _tongue get far less leeway from me, because it's downright shameful if people can't communicate clearly in their own language.

I can usually spot the people for whom English is a second or third language, because the rhythm, syntax, and vernacular are slightly off. I imagine that's pretty much the norm for anyone who speaks/writes a language other than their native one.


----------



## speedy da fish

At a show a couple of weeks ago and we where talking about a previous show I competed in with my friend's loan horse. I told my cousin (horsey) that we won both classes and she said he must have been quick. My mum (non-horsey) then said 'yeah especially because he's a cob'. Nah mum he's a TB, same thing!


----------



## MacabreMikolaj

Starlet said:


> I will try to use conversational english instead of sounding like I'm talking practiced english. As english being a second language, I do know how hard it can be with spelling certain words. For example, I have trouble with were and where, to too and two, and them and those when I am writing or typing. I constantly look over my typing or writing and scan it, looking for ways to change the words to make the text sound more relaxed and conversational instead of practiced and "stiff" looking typing. I also happen to think that english is one of the toughest languages to learn. There are a lot of rules that do not always seem to apply and too many silent letters. The letters have more then one sound are also my weakness when it comes to spelling.
> Sorry, I may be confusing you guys and you may not even know what I am talking about.


Quite frankly, I find it depressing that English is your second language and you blatantly type it better then half the people from North America I encounter online who speak it as an ONLY language.

This, to me, is about character. I type well and I take time to check my work because I take pride in what I say. I'm sorry, you will never convince me that you have even a remotely valid argument if I have to whip out a code book just to decipher it. The amount of respect I have for people who claim they KNOW the language but are to lazy to type it or write if half decently could fit in a thimble. Quite frankly, that is WORSE then just being illiterate or having English as a second language or struggling with it. 

It boils down to really not a language issue but a character issue. I don't have time to waste on people who care so little about how they represent themselves that they're content to come across as village idiots.

I work for the government and my job entails typing letters to explain the changes I've done to a person's tax return. Reading some of the letters that go out from our building makes me CRINGE. No wonder the taxpayers don't take us seriously. :-|

As a note - my biggest pet peeve is their/there/they're and your/you're issues, but I have never in my life figured out to/too (obviously I know two). I never type too, I always type to because I always forget where to put it. :lol:


----------



## Indyhorse

MacabreMikolaj said:


> As a note - my biggest pet peeve is their/there/they're and your/you're issues, but I have never in my life figured out to/too (obviously I know two). I never type too, I always type to because I always forget where to put it. :lol:


I have more difficulty with your/you're...I do have to sit and walk it through in my mind. I know the difference, I just have to remember to apply it more.

Too/to is easy! Two oo's in too if the word could be replaced with also. As in, "I want a red one *too*!" one o for things like, "I want to go *to* the store." and example of both in a sentence: "I went *to* the store, he came along *too*!" 


Sorry, I know you weren't asking for an english lesson *lol*


----------



## MacabreMikolaj

Haha, and it's probably the same thing as you're/your for you! I read it time and time again, people tell it to (?) me constantly, and then when I go to use it I second guess myself and just go "screw it!" :lol:


----------



## inaclick

English is easy compared to other languages, I recently gave Danish a try. Oh, my :shock:
I also learned English in parallel with French. Goodness me, the grammar and the writing and the accents and the fact that, being latin, it also has gender for every friggin noun - just like in my language. You have to learn by heart which is feminine and which is masculine even when it comes to "chair" and "car" and "window"

We had rough teachers and overall a much rougher, elitist, performance-oriented educational system. I have no idea if it's good or bad, I get complimented on speaking / writing English so I guess it had some good parts.

The only really bad part is that I learned the USEFUL contemporary vocabulary only from internet, TV shows and foreign newspapers. We learned English vocabulary in school by studying...Dickens, Shakespeare, etc.
Who on earth speaks like Beowulf, Oliver Twist or Romeo nowadays?
Nothing prepared us for correctly writing a job application or just having a normal conversation with someone that did not get teleported with a time machine from the 14'th century.

We also were shunned if we'd ever try to imitate the american accent  Not sure why, but British was the way to go. Even now, when I am flexible in copying the accent of the person I speak with, I just can't pronounce "can't" the american way. There's a voice ringing deep inside my memory:

"WHAT'S THAT, KEEEEEENT? what do you mean, Keeeeeent?!! you watched cowboy movies again? We're in ENNNN-GLISHHHH class here miss! from ENNNN-GLLLAND! Say CAAAAAAAAN'T"


----------



## apachiedragon

I always scramble the letters in their. It ALWAYS ends up being typed thier and then my lovely auto spell check yells at me, lol. Guess it happens to us all.


----------



## ponyboy

MacabreMikolaj said:


> This, to me, is about character.


I agree about text speak, but please keep in mind that people can have learning disabilities or just very bad educations. Writing ability is not necessarily a reflection of character.


----------



## Sunny

It's not about /ability/. You can usually tell when a person has a disability or who is using a second language. If it's one of those two, you see things like, "I go to the store yesterday, and I learned my friend how to tie her shoes, and then we am shopped for clothes." If it's just an ignorant person, it's, "omggg, ii am so0o0o kewl, my bff n me went 2 da stor n got knew clothes. lol!" See the difference?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## randiekay215

I have a friend (non-horsey obviously) that always refers to riding "bareback" as riding "naked"....Gee, wouldnt that be a sight!


----------



## aspin231

inaclick said:


> I also learned English in parallel with French. Goodness me, the grammar and the writing and the accents and the fact that, being latin, it also has gender for every friggin noun - just like in my language. You have to learn by heart which is feminine and which is masculine even when it comes to "chair" and "car" and "window"


Being fluent in both verbal and written french, in addition to english, I can attest to this.

There is a purpose to it, and it does make sense the more you get in to it, but it is annoying to try and learn initially.


----------



## Eolith

My pony is red roan with a flaxen mane and tail. The barn owner's boyfriend came in one day and asked why her mane had been bleached. The barn owner hastily explained that she was a natural blonde. ^_^

I am also very touchy about people denying horseback riding as a sport. I had to jump through all sorts of hoops to get the admin at my high school to accept my extensive riding as a PE credit in order to avoid being drafted into one of their sports teams and thus being deprived of my riding time.

Finally, as far as horse related typos and misspellings, spelling 'mane' as 'main' is another one that irks me from time to time.

I'm lucky though, by using Google Chrome as my internet browser it automatically spell checks what I type and underlines invalid words with red much like Microsoft Word. So I have a much easier time of finding those tricky typos.


----------



## lilkitty90

haha randiekay215 my brother just started riding not to long ago and he is learning the terms and such. but he is only 12. he's rode bareback a few times and twice in just a halter and lead rope. and he likes to call it "Free Balling" the silly boy lol he comes up to me and asked "are we free balling it today?" and i said "what?" he said " riding with no saddles and just the halters a ropes" lol


----------



## jamesqf

inaclick said:


> The only really bad part is that I learned the USEFUL contemporary vocabulary only from internet, TV shows and foreign newspapers. We learned English vocabulary in school by studying...Dickens, Shakespeare, etc.
> Who on earth speaks like Beowulf, Oliver Twist or Romeo nowadays?


Err... Me? Though Beowulf 



> Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum,
> þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon,
> hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon.
> Oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum


is hardly English. But Shakespeare is, I think, quite understandable, despite a few shifts in the meaning of words:



> Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
> As I foretold you, were all spirits and
> Are melted into air, into thin air:
> And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
> The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
> The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
> Ye all which it inherit, shall dissolve
> And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
> Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
> As dreams are made on, and our little life
> Is rounded with a sleep.


But maybe it's just familiarity, because my set of Shakespeare recordings is some of my favorite in-car listening for long drives. 



> Nothing prepared us for correctly writing a job application or just having a normal conversation with someone that did not get teleported with a time machine from the 14'th century.


But most of the 20th century (and now the 21st) was best ignored


----------



## Indyhorse

James, I am also a Shakespeare buff and a huge fan, but although I love him I have to admit if someone walked up to me on the street, I might be put off. Well, unless it was accompanied by roses and chocolate, then I might just melt.


----------



## inaclick

Heheh  you guys are adorable

What I mean is that our vocabulary successfully engulfed words from classic books and masterpieces.

However we barely new something about the European CV format, components of a computer named in English, components of a car, etc, useful stuff.

Weirdly enough, it's the same when a foreigner wants to learn Romanian. I've been reading an american expat's blog, and the post about her learning Romanian 

Here is a short quote from her article:

_"My textbook should have been called Romanian for Hunters. In my first few lessons I have learnt on average four different terms for river, forest, tree, field, bird and dog. I also know the words for elephant and giraffe. Even the reader with the most tenuous grasp of world zoology will know that giraffes are not a common sight in downtown Bucharest."_

Yep that's the way we do it!

Here's a link to the whole article should you be curious about languages much more hairy than English:

Hacking through the jungle of Romanian grammar - Telegraph


----------



## Quedeme

I wish we could get off the spelling and grammar thing. I'd really rather laugh at more great stories ^_^


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## GraciesMom

Quedeme said:


> I wish we could get off the spelling and grammar thing. I'd really rather laugh at more great stories ^_^


I agree. The thread has alot of fftopic: discusion.


----------



## jamesqf

Indyhorse said:


> James, I am also a Shakespeare buff and a huge fan, but although I love him I have to admit if someone walked up to me on the street, I might be put off. Well, unless it was accompanied by roses and chocolate, then I might just melt.


If I weren't half a continent or more away, I just might be tempted to try  Though you'd have to settle for home-grown roses (they smell better, anyway), and fight me for the chocolate.


----------



## jamesqf

inaclick said:


> What I mean is that our vocabulary successfully engulfed words from classic books and masterpieces.
> 
> However we barely new something about the European CV format, components of a computer named in English, components of a car, etc, useful stuff.


If you have the basics of the language down properly, though, you can easily find a book in the language that will give you the additional vocabulary. I dare say there are a lot of native English speakers who couldn't name the components of a car or computer - "dingus" and "doohickey" are useful terms here - and when I need to update resume or CV, I find a book (or these days a web site) about it. It's not something I carry around in my head.



> _"My textbook should have been called Romanian for Hunters. In my first few lessons I have learnt on average four different terms for river, forest, tree, field, bird and dog."_


But for me, those would be very useful terms. Like the giraffe, I'm not a common sight in downtown anywhere 



> Here's a link to the whole article should you be curious about languages much more hairy than English:


Interesting. I had always thought that Romanian was one of the Latin-derived languages, so the grammar &c would be similar to French & Spanish.


----------



## GraciesMom

Can we PLEASE get back on topic? I don't care about Shakespear or uses of language in a thread about funny things. OK? Please make a different thread if you want to discuss these topics. Thanks


----------



## Sunny

GraciesMom said:


> Can we PLEASE get back on topic? I don't care about Shakespear or uses of language in a thread about funny things. OK? Please make a different thread if you want to discuss these topics. Thanks


 While I do agree that this should get back on topic, no one is forcing you to read the replies.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Quedeme

Hmmm, ok...well, I'm not as 'horsey' as some people on this forum, but have a funny story about myself lol.

My horse is a belgian cross and has ALL the hair! I roach her mane up to her forelock (leaving her with 'bangs' hehe) just so that she doesn't get horrid dreadlocks. Her tail is just as bad, but I can't shave that off because she needs it for flies. However, it's also SO big and heavy and that when she poos or pees, it often gets IN her tail. While cleaning it is an obvious response, I just don't have the time to do it EVERY day lol. So one day I took some scissors and started to 'artfully' cut at some of the tail hair that's closest to her rump that always got the dirtiest. I was all proud of myself as I shaped it around the dock and made it look rather well blended (in my eyes anyway lol)

Well, the grandmother of another boarder who is there more often than I am saw what I was doing and looked at me with horror in her face. "Oh my goodness! What are you doing to her tail!?" So I tell her that I'm trimming it up for hygiene. She then starts to lecture me on just washing it out and or 'pulling' it. Now, while I know what pulling is....I REALLY don't feel like standing at her rump for over an our yanking the hair out x.x I know it doesn't hurt and I know it's a common practice, and after I was so scolded for using scissors on my horse, I realized how silly I looked giving her tail a 'hair doo' lol.

The same thing happened between me and this grannie when she saw me taking the scissors to trim up the floof in my horse's ears lol. "Just take some clippers to it!" Meh...I like doing things my 'un-horsey' way lol.


----------



## jamesqf

Quedeme said:


> The same thing happened between me and this grannie when she saw me taking the scissors to trim up the floof in my horse's ears lol. "Just take some clippers to it!"


"Floof"? Obviously another technical term that only those initiated into the inner circle of the equestrian mystery are allowed to know 

And isn't it nice for Granny that she's only worked with calm, laid-back horses who're willing to tolerate some annoying human sticking a loud buzzing thing in their ear? I have trouble enough trying to use clippers on a 60 pound dog: don't know what I'd do with a thousand pounds or so of horse


----------



## MacabreMikolaj

ponyboy said:


> I agree about text speak, but please keep in mind that people can have learning disabilities or just very bad educations. Writing ability is not necessarily a reflection of character.


I wasn't at all referring to that. My entire point of it being character is people who acknowledge they don't care. If you'd have read my post, you'd realize that.


----------



## MacabreMikolaj

GraciesMom said:


> Can we PLEASE get back on topic? I don't care about Shakespear or uses of language in a thread about funny things. OK? Please make a different thread if you want to discuss these topics. Thanks


Another great tell of character is people who are so lazy they can't scan the page and read what they want to as opposed to getting upset because people are discussing intelligent things in between laughing at unintelligent things.


----------



## Quedeme

Nah, 'Floof' is not a term anyone uses but me XD it's like a cuter form of fluff, or swish lol. I'm just a little nutty sometimes XD

And yes, Grannie is very lucky to have a 16 year old 'bomb proof' horse to work with. Not to mention that her granddaughter's two horses are both show horses and fussed over and preened to perfection regularly. While I don't think Caddy would go bonkers on me with a pair of clippers, I just don't see why I need to if she, and I are both fine with scissors lol. 

Note, she also thinks I'm nutters for roaching my horse's mane instead of pulling it. I don't see a big difference when her granddaughter's horses' manes are pulled down to an inch anyway...what does it really matter?

I'm feeling inspired to go make a post in 'grooming' about this very topic! lol

-zooms over to go do so-


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## TheRoughrider21

Yesterday we were gonna go to a horse show but heard it was really muddy and stuff so we didn't go. We were in the barn getting ready to go to the mall and my friend goes, "Weren't we going to a horse race today?" Me and my trainer/B.O. burst out laughing.


----------



## Indyhorse

jamesqf said:


> If I weren't half a continent or more away, I just might be tempted to try  Though you'd have to settle for home-grown roses (they smell better, anyway), and fight me for the chocolate.


Actually I'm a bigger fan of wild flowers hand picked in an obliging field anyways.  Chocolate though, hmm I don't know, I'm not great at sharing! lol



MacabreMikolaj said:


> Another great tell of character is people who are so lazy they can't scan the page and read what they want to as opposed to getting upset because people are discussing intelligent things in between laughing at unintelligent things.


I personally am a fan of the threads that go absurdly off topic in these forums. Some of the best threads around have been the sort of surreal ones. Like neuticle night, or the (still going!) parelli thread. I certainly think off topic conversation has great entertainment value. You have it right - those who don't want to read are welcome to scan.


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## Ray MacDonald

My friend asked me if I was going to the horse races lol and I was like Abby doesn't race anymore?? (She a STB used to harness race) And then I was like the horse shows at the exhibition? lolol


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## ToHotToTrot

These are all so great;D


----------



## speedy da fish

My boyfriend sometimes goes on about why I wont race Will, ''coz he will make loads of money', yes thats smart, enter my 12 yo, 15hh, show jumping Anglo-Arab in a horse race lol.


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## Hunter65

Hahaha these are so good. My hubby is trying to learn but I made him ride in the horse trailer the other night while I drove. Sure opened his eyes, he slammed the brakes on last time we had Hunter in there. We are taking him up to our property on Friday a 3 hour drive away and now hubby has a better appreciation for what its like to ride back there. That will be IF we can get Hunter back into the trailer.


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## devildogtigress

Speed Racer said:


> Indeed. At least you only put a superfluous 'g' in there, instead of a word that means precipitation! :lol:
> 
> Blink, you made a mistake. I can deal with people who make them and are able to take a little ribbing about them. Even with being a Grammar Nazi, I sometimes make spelling and grammatical errors, too.
> 
> I haz a shame.
> 
> It's the people who can't spell at all and whose grammar is atrocious, that make my eyes bleed and my brain go into vapor lock.
> 
> Then they make things even worse by _defending_ their ignorance and saying it doesn't matter if they don't know how to communicate properly! Gah! :evil:
> 
> Yeah, see how far that gets you in the corporate world. Better start practicing saying, "Would you like fries with that?"
> 
> Or more realistically, "D'you wan' fries wit dat?"


In my state children aren't even taught spelling any longer. It's been deemed "unnecessary" as we're living in a computer era and computers have spell check. *head banging keyboard*


----------



## Sunny

Hunter65 said:


> Hahaha these are so good. My hubby is trying to learn but I made him ride in the horse trailer the other night while I drove. Sure opened his eyes, he slammed the brakes on last time we had Hunter in there. We are taking him up to our property on Friday a 3 hour drive away and now hubby has a better appreciation for what its like to ride back there. That will be IF we can get Hunter back into the trailer.


 That is great! :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SallyRC123

Wow! Didn't realise this thread would take off!

Loving the replies everyone, keep it up!

My boyfriend doesn't understand why I don't enter my 14.2 QH in horse races either, or why I don't "make her have heaps of babies, sell them and make a s**t load of profit" ... or why I don't jump her ridiculous heights.

Or, if I tell my Dad I'm going for a lesson on Candy, I get '"I thought you already knew how to ride a horse?"


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## jamesqf

devildogtigress said:


> In my state children aren't even taught spelling any longer. It's been deemed "unnecessary" as we're living in a computer era and computers have spell check. *head banging keyboard*


Reign, rain, rein, reyn: all legitimate words, all spelled correctly. One of the reasons I hate real-time spell check.


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## artsyjenn

My brother in law said to me once "On my way to work every day I drive past a field of horses who are all blindfolded. Must be so they don't run away" Blindfolds=fly masks


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## Spyder

Speed Racer said:


> Of course, it appears that our public school system is turning out functional illiterates constantly, if the posters on this and other BBs are any example.



And lazy fingers also.

Now really just how much more energy does it take to change "u" to you?


----------



## TheRoughrider21

Yesterday, I brought my mom's friend out to see my horse. He has a fly sheet on and the first thing she said, "Oh well isn't that just a pretty dress." *head banging* I really don't understand non-horsey people anymore.


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## corinowalk

Spyder said:


> And lazy fingers also.
> 
> Now really just how much more energy does it take to change "u" to you?


 
The text speak is a HUGE peeve of mine. In the age where most of us have those silly phones with keyboards, does it really take up that much time to spell out a word?


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## Indyhorse

corinowalk said:


> The text speak is a HUGE peeve of mine. In the age where most of us have those silly phones with keyboards, does it really take up that much time to spell out a word?



Me too. I wont use text speak even while texting. My phone has a keyboard for crying out loud, if I'm that pressed for time that I can't type out a full word, heck I won't answer at that moment.

But seeing people using text speak on a forum like this makes me crazy. I can be forgiving of spelling errors - not everyone is a spelling bee queen, and like James mentioned auto-correct spell checkers sometimes pick the wrong option anyways. Incorrect spelling, and screw ups that are obviously related to lack of typing skills don't bother me overmuch, unless it's the majority of the post. But the careless attitude related to poor grammar and poor language skills make me form a split second judgment on the poster. Right or wrong, it's how I perceive it. On a forum like this, all you really have are the words you type and this is how you represent yourself. If you can't communicate in a capable, adult way, I will not perceive you as a reasonably intelligent person, and respond accordingly. Sorry!


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## jamesqf

Indyhorse said:


> If you can't communicate in a capable, adult way, I will not perceive you as a reasonably intelligent person, and respond accordingly. Sorry!


Exactly! Of course most of us are human and so make the occasional mistake (I know I sure do), but there's a big difference between that and not even bothering to try - or worse, deliberately refusing - as with text-speak - to even try to write correctly.


----------



## rocky pony

I'm gonna have a lot of really great submissions to this thread right soon...my girlfriend (who I've been dating long-distance for several years) is a TOTAL city girl who's only been close enough to pet a horse once in her entire life. I've been teaching her bits and pieces over the years but she still knows nothing...and she's just about to move up here and I'm gonna be teaching her to ride and I'm certain I'll have some gems to put up =P

I wish I could remember more of the silly things she's said to me thus far, but I do remember I was telling her about a really scary incident where my horse's saddle fell back on him (thankfully not while I was on him) and he went around bucking like a maniac until he nearly collapsed...her first question: "What's bucking?" I say, "You know, like bucking broncos, in the rodeo?" Her: "...what's a bronco? I don't know what they do at rodeos...." I described it as best as I could, and she says, "Oh...awwww that sounds so cute!!!" :lol:
And at a later date I was telling her how my horse had tried to buck me off (and broke my tailbone in the process because my poor bum slammed onto the cantle once or twice, ouch) and she says, "What?! Why did he do that to you, that's so mean!!!"
She's the cutest thing. And the funnest to make fun of :twisted: (don't worry, it goes both ways)


----------



## dee

There is a girl I work with that always has country music playing at her desk and talks about her cowboy boyfriend ad nauseum. She wears high dollar western boots to work on casual Fridays, when jeans are permitted, with really fancy western shirts. She is always talking about going to the various rodeos to watch the boyfriend ride...

A couple of days ago I told her we finally got a halter on our four week old filly, Rain. She asked two questions that absolutely blew my mind:

"What's a filly?" 

and

"What's a halter?"

Oh brother!


----------



## DreamCatcher

Sadly, I don't have too many "funny, non-horsey people" stories. However, I do have a non-horsey younger brother (13) who doesn't consider horseback riding a sport. He has the idea that just because he's been on a horse before (which honestly hasn't been that many times; he doesn't really like them, and has recently found out he's slightly allergic), he knows more about them than I do. :wink:

As for the text-speech thing, it bothers me, too (and I'm 14 - 15 tomorrow). My _father_ does it occasionally! We were sitting in his home office a few months ago, and he was messaging my mom. The text went something like this "what r we doing 4 dinner? R u cooking?" 
I was about ready to smack him! How is it that your 14-year-old can manage to type full words and sentences in a text message (even with the lack of grammar being taught in schools anymore), and you, a successful computer programmer, can't? :? He's even got a full 'keyboard' (iPhone)!


----------



## rocky pony

DreamCatcher said:


> As for the text-speech thing, it bothers me, too (and I'm 14 - 15 tomorrow). My _father_ does it occasionally! We were sitting in his home office a few months ago, and he was messaging my mom. The text went something like this "what r we doing 4 dinner? R u cooking?"
> I was about ready to smack him! How is it that your 14-year-old can manage to type full words and sentences in a text message (even with the lack of grammar being taught in schools anymore), and you, a successful computer programmer, can't? :? He's even got a full 'keyboard' (iPhone)!


Hahaha, my mom is exactly the same way...I don't even know anybody in my age range who types that way, but my mom texts all her friends (and my sister and me) all the type in textspeak...
My sister and I just laugh at her :lol:


----------



## Alwaysbehind

corinowalk said:


> The text speak is a HUGE peeve of mine. In the age where most of us have those silly phones with keyboards, does it really take up that much time to spell out a word?


I totally agree! How are we supposed to understand what people are asking when they do not even try to use real words?

Add the funky graphic things people add to their posts that only a select group of people know what they mean and I feel like screaming at the screen.

I would think if you want to add emotion to your post using a face you would pick one from the available list here so others would know what you mean. Otherwise the characters are lost on so many of us and there is no reason to post them.


----------



## Kawairashii Ichigo

"So in the Olympics... Do they just have stallions and mustangs?"
"Do you ride western or Indian?" (She meant bare back.)
"Aww! You horse had a pony! I love ponies... but how long till they grow into horses?"


----------



## twogeldings

I haven't read them all, but I gotta share 

'Horse' Guy: Ya'll gotta tighten up that thar cinch, otherwise it don't do nuttin'! -CINCHES the backstrap up so hard theres wrinkles in my filly's skin- 
Me: Er, no.
Filly: GET IT OFF BEFORE I KICK SOMEBODY.


My girl was such a trooper about it. She started moving around a bit and put her head up, but no heels or teeth where presented. I was proud of her, but DID loosen the back strap up right away again.


----------



## macrylinda1

ISAgirl said:


> I just live how non horsey people giggle or pull disturbed faces when the horse they are riding goes to the toilet and were just like meh!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I was helping with a camp and a mom came up to me looking scared and said, " That horse out there is laying down, is she okay.?"


----------



## horseservant

I live it the north and when I ride down the road in the winter sometimes people want to pet my horse. Then they say "Oh, he's beautiful. Is he a long hair?" Then they are stunned to find out that horses have longer hair in the winter than in the summer and they shed their coat out!

Also any pretty horse no matter what " Oh she's beautiful, is she a PURE arabian?" No this is an Irish Draught Horse.


----------



## DreamCatcher

twogeldings said:


> I haven't read them all, but I gotta share
> 
> 'Horse' Guy: Ya'll gotta tighten up that thar cinch, otherwise it don't do nuttin'! -CINCHES the backstrap up so hard theres wrinkles in my filly's skin-
> Me: Er, no.
> Filly: GET IT OFF BEFORE I KICK SOMEBODY.
> 
> 
> My girl was such a trooper about it. She started moving around a bit and put her head up, but no heels or teeth where presented. I was proud of her, but DID loosen the back strap up right away again.


That guy was lucky... I know a lot of horses that if you did that, especially so suddenly, they'd do a good deal more than move around a bit.


----------



## Quedeme

Irish Draught = Pure Arabian....that totally made me gigglesnort XD

I've one person ask if my mare Caddy was a mule when I showed them a picture of her over the internet


----------



## horseservant

people think my dapple gray is an appaloosa. I also had to stop showing people at work the picture of my filly nursing on her dam. They thought she was doing something sexual and were surprized her udder was back there. Did your mother not give you coloring books with cows in them and they had the udder which you had to color pink?


----------



## twogeldings

DreamCatcher said:


> That guy was lucky... I know a lot of horses that if you did that, especially so suddenly, they'd do a good deal more than move around a bit.


She's a real mellow girl  The biggest she's ever 'acted up' was a head toss to get a wasp out of her face. I was mildly freaking out on her back going "GO FASTER BEFORE IT CALLS FOR BACKUP!" 


Oh, oh, oh, speaking of horse terms

Dads Boss: Yeah, you know that grey horse?
Me: You mean Loki? (he's a chestnut roan Sabino)
Dads Boss: Yeah, I'd like to eat him! 
Me: Oh psh, you wouldn't be able to catch 'em! 

Or I'll go, "What grey horse? I don't own a grey horse!" 

He's always ribbing me on how he'd like to 'eat my horses'. In reality, if I needed something urgently (say, a very expensive medical procedure), he'd give me the funds I need, no questions asked. 

When speaking to 'non horsey' people I refer to my guys as:
Grey/Light colored horse = Loki, Chestnut Roan Sabino 
Big brown/red horse = Sammy, Chestnut
Little red/brown horse = Red Man. Flaxen Chestnut/Sorrel
Light brown/coffee colored horse = Baby Girl, Buckskin

Sometimes, you just gotta simplify XD


----------



## CopperPennyPony

Ok, I've got a good one about what a non-horsey person did. So my boyfriend's mom, Lisa, was letting a neighbor girl help out with the horses one day. First, she wanted to do "horse chores" which to her mean watching and chatting Lisa's ear off while she mucked out all the stalls and swept the aisle. Then the girl wanted to groom a horse. But despite what she says she is terrified of them! Every time Lisa brought a horse in the girl would run into the tack room, close the door and lock it! Then Lisa would do all the work while the girl watched. Then when she leaves she tells all her friends about all the "horse chores she did." And she still asks constantly to come down to do more "horse chores." So annoying! Needless to say she is not welcome back anymore. :wink:


----------



## CopperPennyPony

draftrider said:


> My sister once asked me when I needed to give the horses pedicures again. She wanted to pick the polish color. (she was 25 at the time).
> 
> The funniest thing was... I have a dear friend who loves horses. She loves everything about them. She constantly begged me to go riding, and I asked if she had ever ridden before. She said yes, she had ridden many times, but not for years.
> 
> I put her on Belle, who is the horse my 3 and 9 yr old nieces ride- bareback. She is very careful with novice riders. So Faith got on Belle, and I showed her "steering". I told her do NOT pull back on the reins, just SAY the word whoa and roll your hips back a bit and she will stop. I showed her how to move her off her leg etc. The reins are just there for decoration, I told her. Don't touch them!
> 
> So she carefully squeezed her forwards, and after Belle went about 15 feet at a nice slow walk Faith panicked, grabbed the reins and screamed "STOP STOP SHE IS GOING TO FAST STOP!!!!!!!!!!" and Belle stopped, but she kept yanking the reins. Belle decided that was enough so she slowly and very carefully sat down like a dog, and put Faith back on the ground where she belongs.
> 
> I then grilled her as to WHERE her riding experience was from- and she told me...
> 
> The pony go rounds at the county fair.
> 
> 
> WTF!!!
> 
> 
> To this day, she still tells people she was bucked off my horse. I just roll my eyes.


Oh my gosh, don't people like that drive you nuts?!


----------



## CopperPennyPony

lopez said:


> Well, My gelding has this habit of letting his uh. . 'thingy' hang out after I've ridden him and while he's eating. My sort of horsey friends see this and just freak out. There faces are absolutely hilarious.


Mine does this too, me and my horsey friend just laugh while everyone else is horrified. My horse and the other horses there who are all geldings and they are constantly having what we like to call "bachelor parties" where they let it all hang out


----------



## Ray MacDonald

Not really a funny thing... but today we had a parade for my "town" I guess you would call it  and there were 3 minis (two in carts one being walked) and two horses (which I wish my mother would let me take one of mine in the parade) And my sister saw one of the minis pawing and she said "AWW look she's scratching at the ground" I said "No she's pawing.."


----------



## horseservant

I am also amused by people who get upset about them having gas. I always say "you try eating that much fiber".


----------



## DreamCatcher

CopperPennyPony said:


> Ok, I've got a good one about what a non-horsey person did. So my boyfriend's mom, Lisa, was letting a neighbor girl help out with the horses one day. First, she wanted to do "horse chores" which to her mean watching and chatting Lisa's ear off while she mucked out all the stalls and swept the aisle. Then the girl wanted to groom a horse. But despite what she says she is terrified of them! Every time Lisa brought a horse in the girl would run into the tack room, close the door and lock it! Then Lisa would do all the work while the girl watched. Then when she leaves she tells all her friends about all the "horse chores she did." And she still asks constantly to come down to do more "horse chores." So annoying! Needless to say she is not welcome back anymore. :wink:


Haha, I have a cousin who does this whenever she's at my grandparents'. It's extremely annoying - especially when she comes up to me and starts bragging about all the help she supposedly was. :roll:

One day, just to see if she'd actually _learned_ anything "helping out" around the barn, I asked her to help me out a little by putting a halter on Caesar and putting him on the cross-ties while I grabbed the grooming supplies. 
Cousin: "Who?" 
Me: "Caesar. You know who he is?" 
Cousin: "Oh, yeah, uh, right." 
When I come back with the grooming supplies, Promise (a buckskin mare) is standing at the cross-ties.
Me: "When did Caesar (a dark bay gelding) become a buckskin?" 
Cousin: "Uh... Right. I'll be right back." 
Once we finally get the correct horse, I ask her to hand me a rubber curry. She hands me a face brush. 
Me: "Rubber curry?" 
Cousin: "Isn't it?" 
Me: "No, this is a face brush." 
Cousin: "Oh... yeah."

This went on for most of the chores... and at the end of the day, she STILL went off and told everyone that she had taught her older cousin (me) how to do chores at the barn. :roll:


----------



## frecklesgirl4ever

i stayed with my non-horsey grandparents for a bit in florida and we watched a lot of show jumping. my grandparents are very into tennis and therefore for weeks after they called the arenas courts until we finally broke it to them xD

another funny thing non-horsey people have said to me is "so, do you know how to *run *your horse?" my response "no, but i know how to walk, trot, canter, and gallop. is that what you were thinking of?"


----------



## TheRoughrider21

Some passer-by who seen me out in the front paddocks working. "Aww our these all your horses?"-pointing to all the horses that are there. This is 30 horses. Me, "Umm no...I think it might be illegal to own 30 horses." The a Trakenher in for training who is short...maybe 15hh. "Aww look at that cute little baby horse." Me, "She's 5...she won't be getting any bigger." Then we have a 2 year old Arab out in the front pasture and he likes to do his own reining stunts. "Oh look at that trick horse!!!!" Then proceding to run over towards him. "I just shook my head cause we all hate that he does that in his pen...we're all afraid he's going to slide and hit the fence one of these days.


----------



## draftrider

My mom has a terrible habit of calling that thing you put on a horse's head with a lead rope attached a "harness".

The other day I asked her if she would help me oil my harness. She said SURE! And then went out to the barn to get a stack of old nylon halters. 

And of course, that contraption the dog wears around it's chest to go for a walk? Its a halter.

Not to mention, she picked up a bit of leather and asked what it was. I said, "A headstall". She was like, "oh. I thought it was a bridle". I had to explain its not a bridle until there are a bit and reins attached. =)


----------



## TheRoughrider21

draftrider said:


> My mom has a terrible habit of calling that thing you put on a horse's head with a lead rope attached a "harness".
> 
> The other day I asked her if she would help me oil my harness. She said SURE! And then went out to the barn to get a stack of old nylon halters.
> 
> And of course, that contraption the dog wears around it's chest to go for a walk? Its a halter.
> 
> Not to mention, she picked up a bit of leather and asked what it was. I said, "A headstall". She was like, "oh. I thought it was a bridle". I had to explain its not a bridle until there are a bit and reins attached. =)


My mom calls the halters bridles...it gets me so confused. One day I asked her for my bridle and she said, "He's already wearing it." I had to look twice to make sure he really wasn't! =)


----------



## Sunny

My mom calls halters "harnesses" too! :lol:
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Eliz

Ugh! Halters, bridles, there is no difference when it comes to my step dad. I always get confused :/

One time I said headstall to him and he gave me the strangest look. I had to explain to him what it was, he thought it was litterally like a stall... for the head? Lol. 

I get SO tired of using actual color names around non-horsey people. So instead of saying bay I'll say brown, or instead of grey I'll say white, or instead of chestnut I'll say red... ect.


----------



## jamesqf

Ray MacDonald said:


> And my sister saw one of the minis pawing and she said "AWW look she's scratching at the ground" I said "No she's pawing.."


Err... So what actually is the difference?

And how can a horse paw? Horses don't have paws, they have hooves. So that horse must have been hoofing


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## jamesqf

Eliz said:


> I get SO tired of using actual color names around non-horsey people. So instead of saying bay I'll say brown, or instead of grey I'll say white, or instead of chestnut I'll say red... ect.


I bet that when you do that, the people you're talking to know exactly which horse you mean, don't they? So you've gone from "I know special words which means I'm part of an in-group, neener, neener, neener" to actually communicating


----------



## Eliz

^ 
Yes, but its still good to educate people.
Like if I'm being patient I can say "That bay horse, bay is a brownish color with black mane and tail...".


----------



## Count Jackula

Last weekend a friend and I were showing her shetlands and Razzle was tied to the trailer, which is emblazoned 'Shetland Ponies in Transit'...first a woman walked up to me and asked if she could 'pat the horse' then said 'I hope you don't mind me saying, but is there something wrong with its paw?' I looked over and Razzle was dozing, resting a hind leg! :lol:


----------



## Ray MacDonald

I remember one time we were at a show I think it was.. You know those things you put on the horses head and have strings flowing down and sometimes they have ear covers... And of course i can't remember the name of them right now..

My sister and her boyfriend (Matty)were with me.. we were talking and then Matty says "Kaleigh (my sister) told me those things make the horses go faster!"


----------



## jamesqf

Eliz said:


> Yes, but its still good to educate people.
> Like if I'm being patient I can say "That bay horse, bay is a brownish color with black mane and tail...".


Sure, but you see the difference in attitude between doing that bit of education (something that might be appreciated by the recipient), and the mocking of people because they don't know your in-group words that you'll see in no few of the posts here?

We all start out pretty ignorant, after all. And to be honest, until I managed to get stuck with one, I'd always supposed that "bay" was a light brownish color, because I'd only ever seen the word written, and had never happened to have seen a picture or had one pointed out to me.


----------



## Eliz

jamesqf said:


> Sure, but you see the difference in attitude between doing that bit of education (something that might be appreciated by the recipient), and the mocking of people because they don't know your in-group words that you'll see in no few of the posts here?
> 
> We all start out pretty ignorant, after all. And to be honest, until I managed to get stuck with one, I'd always supposed that "bay" was a light brownish color, because I'd only ever seen the word written, and had never happened to have seen a picture or had one pointed out to me.


I never mock anyone that has less knowledge about horses than me, because like you said, we were all there at one point. Sorry if it came off as mockery, I promise it wasn't!


----------



## Jessabel

"Oohhh, I didn't know horses went backwards!"

*facepalm*

And one time I was at Medieval Times and we were looking at the horses from those window-things. One horse was resting his hind leg and this little boy goes, "He's gonna break his leg!" XDD I had to explain to him that horses do a lot of standing up and their feet just get tired sometimes. lol


----------



## lilkitty90

we were at a horse auction tonight and they were auctioning off Rasps, and my stepdad goes "hey! didn't you guys say you needed one of those file things?" i just said "no we need a rasp, so go ahead and bid on the rasp = )" at least he tries though!


----------



## frecklesgirl4ever

so I invited my friend to come and see my horse and this is pretty much how our conversation went:

her: wait, so can i touch it (my horse)?

me: uhuh

her: really, it's not gonna eat me or anything?

me: nope, i'm pretty sure it won't...

i was cracking up by now and she couldn't quite figure out why xD


----------



## jamesqf

Eliz said:


> I never mock anyone that has less knowledge about horses than me, because like you said, we were all there at one point. Sorry if it came off as mockery, I promise it wasn't!


Oh, I didn't mean YOU - sorry if it came across that way. But look back through all the posts on this thread, and you'll find quite a few that are as I described. Or for a bit of humor, read the post just above about files and rasps, then go look up the definition of the word rasp: a coarse file


----------



## inaclick

I'm _almost _sure that nobody's intention was to mock, just a giggle


----------



## Bandera

So this is more cow related but it was while me and my friend were at horse camp.

Her: wow, those utters are big!
Me: those aren't utters...
Her: gives me a confused look
Me: jazzmine those would be bulls, bulls dont have utters, they do have other things though...

This would be turkey relate....

Cousin: wow its like a small emu thingy!
Me: uhh... Ash... that would be a turkey..
Cousin: oh. I knew that!

and then another thing is watching my pool cleaner try to say the word dressage... its very amusing....


----------



## inaclick

Bandera said:


> and then another thing is watching my pool cleaner try to say the word dressage... its very amusing....


One of the new employers at the shelter keeps saying menage instead of manege.

Which leads to some snorted giggles sometimes

"Heya, where are the girls?"
"They're with the trainers, doing menage"
"Oooh, I see. Well then I'd better hurry up, don't wanna miss that"


----------



## rocky pony

Hahahaha, that's a pretty good one there =P


----------



## haleylvsshammy

My friend Haily has a mom who thinks that she is very knowledgeable about horses. One day, Haily was telling me about things that her mom thinks are useful in certain situations.
Here is one:
Haily's horse took off on her, and her mom thought she would be useful.
her mom: "Haily, you need to sit up straight and give a half-halt. Your horse is going too fast."
When Haily told me this, I burst into laughter. Well, at least her mom is somewhat useful!


----------



## Ray MacDonald

I was at a show today and the first few classes where showmanship.. The judge was being soo funny! He was very help full because he was giving tips and advice to the people.

The first class.. The judge says "Get the lead out of your **** and trot those suckers!"

Then one of the classes (there was only 3 participants) and they ALL did the pattern wrong! (It was english pleasure) So he had to show them how to do it.. (he was not on a horse lol) So he was "trotting" around the pilons (sp?) and kept saying "posting trot! Posting trot!" In a higher voice every time! it was soo funny!


----------



## MustHeartHorses

I've had fullgrown adult walk up to me and ask me if a mare was a breed of horse. I had to forcibly stop my self from laughing outloud. lol


----------



## aspin231

Ray MacDonald said:


> I was at a show today and the first few classes where showmanship.. The judge was being soo funny! He was very help full because he was giving tips and advice to the people.
> 
> The first class.. The judge says "Get the lead out of your **** and trot those suckers!"
> 
> Then one of the classes (there was only 3 participants) and they ALL did the pattern wrong! (It was english pleasure) So he had to show them how to do it.. (he was not on a horse lol) So he was "trotting" around the pilons (sp?) and kept saying "posting trot! Posting trot!" In a higher voice every time! it was soo funny!


I would have paid to see that!!  lol


----------



## Ray MacDonald

It was super funny! the whole crowd was roaring!


----------



## Northern

I'm with SR re: the functional illiteracy problem today; I started WW III on other forum for asking that people spell "definitely" correctly. They then started putting "DEFINATELY", "DEFINANTELY", ad nauseum, in threads that they knew I was reading. The world would've_ ended_ if I'd given an entire list, as SR did! The one thing that doesn't bother me is text-speak, however,_ provided it's used for convenience & not out of ignorance, in informal settings_. Chat rooms are a good example, imo, of an appropriate setting for it.


----------



## justkeepriding

spell check and laziness contributes to the problem


----------



## drafts4ever

I have one. My boyfriend and I took Caleigh over to his grandparents house for an afternoon for a neighbor little girls party. She wanted to clean out Caleighs hooves and when I picked one up to hold for her she asked "why doesn't she have bling bling like other horses?!" hahaha all the adults started laughing.


----------



## Marrissa

One time my horse had managed to roll in a way that got his legs stuck in the panel fence. They weren't stuck tight he just couldn't pull his two back legs close enough to his body to get them back out since he was so close to the fence. Brego (my horse) is just laying there enjoying the sun, legs stuck in the fence and all. He always does this funny moaning sound while sun bathing. 

So while I'm out there unhooking the fence so I can take that panel off two non-horsey neighbors come over and help me unhook it. Boyfriend and girlfriend. The girlfriend just stands there and watches then as they walk away the girlfriend asks "He's dying isn't he?." I got a good grin out of that one.


----------



## westerncowgurl

barrelracer892 said:


> Oh, forgot one, I was taking out a trail ride and was riding one of the new horses in training in the front of the ride, and when we came across a creek we have to wait for all the horses to get done drinking. Well the horse wasn't thrilled about waiting, so he just did a little jig in place, tossing his head up every now and then. The guy asked, "is he buckin on ya?" then his horse starts dancing because the horse I was riding was, and he goes "WHOAAA now son!! Quit yur buckin!" I didn't tell him the horses weren't bucking.
> 
> Haha.


 lol i love it when your on a trail ride and the horse tries to kick a fly off there belly and a person yells "MY HORSE IS BUCKING!" i normally have to explain 10 times that they are not


----------



## westerncowgurl

Poco1220 said:


> How about the people who do a light jog on your horse and then tell everyone they galloped? lol.


oh that bugs me


----------



## Carleen

^ LOL

When my bf and I first started dating he always told me how he was too scared to ride horses because he had once been on a trail ride and the horse he was riding took off with him aboard.

A couple of months ago, I finally got him on a horse and right after we were done he was like, "You know that story I told you about the horse taking off on me? Well, now I think it may have just been a trot..."

But hey, at least he's not scared anymore!


----------



## barrelracer892

westerncowgurl said:


> lol i love it when your on a trail ride and the horse tries to kick a fly off there belly and a person yells "MY HORSE IS BUCKING!" i normally have to explain 10 times that they are not


 
The poor kids that come to ride that haven't ever ridden before think that the horse is either kicking at them, they're hurting the horse, or the horse is trying to get them off when that happens. Then they start to cry. I always tell them, "No, no, no! Don't worry! He's just trying to get rid of those pesky flies! Don't you just hate it when flies or gnats swarm around you?" They usually stop crying once I tell them that and giggle. Or when the horse "sneezes." They always say, "AHH! He's getting mad at me!" I'm like, "No, honey, he's just got some dust in his nose is all. You're riding perfect." 

What's really funny is when guys that have never ridden before are ready to "go fast" on a horse. When I ask them if they want to try a little trot they're so ready to go. Once they get bounced around *down there* they're a little hesitant to do it the next time. ****. They try different positions to keep it from hurting! Death gripping the saddle horn, sticking their butt up in the air, toes down, leaning over their necks, and going "YEEEEEHAWWWWW!!!!" is what cracks me up the most.


----------



## inaclick

barrelracer892 said:


> The poor kids that come to ride that haven't ever ridden before think that the horse is either kicking at them, they're hurting the horse, or the horse is trying to get them off when that happens. Then they start to cry. I always tell them, "No, no, no! Don't worry! He's just trying to get rid of those pesky flies! Don't you just hate it when flies or gnats swarm around you?" They usually stop crying once I tell them that and giggle. Or when the horse "sneezes." They always say, "AHH! He's getting mad at me!" I'm like, "No, honey, he's just got some dust in his nose is all. You're riding perfect."
> .


...Awwww, where were you when I needed you 
Sneezes, farts, flies, were all catastrophic to me heheh

Silly enough, when a horse _did _do a tiny minuscule single buck, I thought it was some bigger fly. I was mortified when I heard "very good, you hanged in there calm, sit deeper next time"

IT WASN'T A FLY?!!


----------



## jamesqf

Marrissa said:


> The girlfriend just stands there and watches then as they walk away the girlfriend asks "He's dying isn't he?." I got a good grin out of that one.


Reminds me of when I first bought this place, and got acquainted with my equine neighbors across the fence. (I had apple trees, they provided a good supply of horse manure for my garden - a perfect match ) The chestnut one was young & full of mischief then (now he's getting old, but still full of it), and liked to play tricks on people. So one hot afternoon I came out to see him lying on the ground - not rolling or anything, but completely motionless, with flies crawling on him. I swear he even looked a little bloated. 

"Omigawd", I think, "How am I ever going to tell B & K?" (The human neighbors.) Then I looked a bit closer, and I could see that his eye was open just a bit, and he was watching me. The brat was just playing dead


----------



## kumquat27

The other day my mom had a conversation with a lady that also has a horse and boards there and it went like this...

lady: "Do you have two horses now?"
mom:"No"
lady:"then what happened to the black one.... that one is a dark chestnut...."
mom:" no hes the black, just very bleached"

Understandable but I guess I will need to break out my henna shampoo soon  :lol:


----------



## Quedeme

omg I have one!!!

I just happened today with someone I think will be a more common friend. She has been around the 'farm' life (or so she says lol) and feels that she is a little bit 'country' lol. 

I take her out to see my horse and while Caddy is in the cross ties I'm brushing her and fussing that she has sap on her and frustrated at her general 'rough' looking state. So while I comment on the sap, this new friend of mine goes "And she has cactus spines up here too!" I freak out and look at where she was pointing, which was her muzzle, and I'm like "Where?!"..."Right there!" she's pointing at the whiskers XD I laugh loudly and explain that she grows the whiskers and they are a part of her, not a cactus! lol. Cracked me up so bad! lol.


----------



## mswp27

barrelracer892 said:


> Oh, forgot one, I was taking out a trail ride and was riding one of the new horses in training in the front of the ride, and when we came across a creek we have to wait for all the horses to get done drinking. Well the horse wasn't thrilled about waiting, so he just did a little jig in place, tossing his head up every now and then. The guy asked, "is he buckin on ya?" then his horse starts dancing because the horse I was riding was, and he goes "WHOAAA now son!! Quit yur buckin!" I didn't tell him the horses weren't bucking.
> 
> Haha.


Hahahaha that's one of my favorites


----------



## CanyonCowboy

I ride my leopard appy through a local camping park almost every day. Almost every kid calls it a "Dalmation Horse," ok, I can live with that, I tell them its a "Texas Dalmation." But recently all the group campers have started arguing as I ride by that she is a cow. They're not saying her confirmation is off, they seriously think she is a cow.

Makes me believe the urban California education system is lacking something....


----------



## TheRoughrider21

CanyonCowboy said:


> I ride my leopard appy through a local camping park almost every day. Almost every kid calls it a "Dalmation Horse," ok, I can live with that, I tell them its a "Texas Dalmation." But recently all the group campers have started arguing as I ride by that she is a cow. They're not saying her confirmation is off, they seriously think she is a cow.
> 
> Makes me believe the urban California education system is lacking something....


A cow?!?! Seriously? How could any horse be mistaken for a cow? =)


----------



## dee

TheRoughrider21 said:


> A cow?!?! Seriously? How could any horse be mistaken for a cow? =)


You'd be surprised.

I had a lady ask me if my beagle puppy was a poodle, because she used to raise poodles. Personally, I wouldn't want to buy a poodle from her...


----------



## TheRoughrider21

dee said:


> You'd be surprised.
> 
> I had a lady ask me if my beagle puppy was a poodle, because she used to raise poodles. Personally, I wouldn't want to buy a poodle from her...


People scare me...seriously. That's just crazy.


----------



## ErikaLynn

My boyfriend told me there is a huge horse show in Devon, Pa.


----------



## outnabout

_CanyonCowboy says:_
_I ride my leopard appy through a local camping park almost every day. Almost every kid calls it a "Dalmation Horse," ok, I can live with that, I tell them its a "Texas Dalmation." But recently all the group campers have started arguing as I ride by that she is a cow. They're not saying her confirmation is off, they seriously think she is a cow.

Makes me believe the urban California education system is lacking something...._ 

Hilarious. Reminds me of one time when I was walking my greyhound in a park and a teenaged girl said "Oh, look it's an antelope!"


----------



## lilkitty90

bahahahaha!!!! an antelope! thats great! lol i do love greyhounds though even their tiny ears, long head, deep chests and learn body they are to die for ; ) nothing like an antelope though lol


----------



## zanyoutthere

Speed Racer said:


> How about when people get ask you why your horses are 'blindfolded'?
> 
> Um, yeah. It's a flymask. Yes, they can see. Yes, really.


I get that ALL the time!!


----------



## Speed Racer

I had my brindle Great Dane ***** at the vet's for her shots, and someone asked me if she was a tiger.

Granted, it was a little girl and she was cute as could be, but a _tiger? 

_Sure, Lexi is brindled and it looks like she has tiger stripes, but she's obviously a dog. A really big, drooly, clumsy critter, but_ definitely_ a dog.


----------



## Alwaysbehind

Giggle. Tiger....Dog.... Tiger.... Dog....


----------



## MaggiStar

Hahahaha i was in college in the VETINARY building and this guy brought his boxer dog in..... a 4th year student went up and started praising him on how healthy and well cared for his rotweiller looked!!!


----------



## Juniper

One time a lady scolded me for making my horse cry. 
The woman was genuinely upset about it. I had been working my horse in an arena where people come for dude rides so she was not a horse person.
My horse was half asleep and his lower lip was hanging down. She thought it was the same as a person who pouts with their lower lip down. So she thought the work I had done with him had made him sad instead of relaxed. I got NO WHERE when I tried to explain myself so I gave up.

Sort of off topic. One time I went for a jog with our two dogs. I let them run in this field first, off leash, so they could have their doggy fun, because I am a slow runner and it is boring for them. After about 10 minutes I snapped their leashes on and started my slow, barely above a walk, jogging. Two women chewed me out big time for over exercising my dogs, (because they were panting from their run). How cruel I was being by expecting them to keep up with me. How on earth anyone thinks I could out run large, young german shepherds is beyond me. I was so flabbergasted I could not even respond. I am never good with the quick come backs, darn it.


----------



## tempest

Juniper said:


> One time a lady scolded me for making my horse cry.


Off topic: There's a horse at my barn who sweats a little around his eyes and it makes him look like he's crying.


----------



## lilkitty90

lol this isn't my story but i was talkign to this guy who has a mini, and it was pulling him on a little buggy type thing (a small mini sized one made for only 1 person) and some lady pulled over and started cussing him out for everything he was worth for being cruel and making a little baby horse pull him and the buggy around all day. and that he was WAAAY to small to be pulling a buggy much less a buggy with a person in it!


----------



## Eliz

When I can I like to take my younger brother with me to the barn to turn him into a horse person 

He always panics when the horse "slaps him with its tail" or "stomps at him like a bull". ****. Flies! Just flies.


----------



## jamesqf

Juniper said:


> How on earth anyone thinks I could out run large, young german shepherds is beyond me.


Well, my Bossy Collie (BC/Aussie mix) does start giving me these disgusted looks about 6-8 miles into a hike, saying quite plainly "Oh, come on, we're not going to keep doing this ALL DAY, are we?" 

It's strange, though: no matter how far we've gone, or how much of a tired, abused dog act she puts on, let a chipmunk or squirrel dart across the trail, and it's "Oboy! Chase! I can climb that tree, really I can!"


----------



## Supermane

We were at a local show and my mom had just bought her second horse, a gelding named Jesse. My dad doesn't normally go to shows, but both me and my mom were showing and it's only about a 15 min drive from our house. After my mom's first class he spend ten minutes talking about how we didn't need another horse because her old mare, Nani, was doing a fantastic job. The problem was she was on Jesse.

Apparently, he can't tell the difference between my mom's liver chestnut mare with virtually no markings and her bay gelding with a blaze.

Jesse --> Adagio (Jesse) the bay Appendix Quarter Horse
Nani --> Princess Nani (Nani) the liver chestnut Thoroughbred


Though, I do give him some credit... they are around the same size.


----------



## LoveStory10

Me and my two horsey friends went to the Durban July, the famous South African horse race. We had to dress up, since it was a fancy event. We took lots of pics, and when we got home I put them on FB. Then a girl who is by NO means horsey comments:

Her: Why so dressed up?
Me: We went to the Durban July
Her: And you dressed up?!
Me: Yes, it's a big, fancy event
Her: But weren't you being sprayed with sand when they run past?
Me: No, why?
Her: Don't you sit by that rail thingy where they run past?
Me: Yes
Her: Don't you get kicked?!

*Facepalm*


----------



## horsegirl15

I went to my first off farm dressage show and i went with my friend who rides a mule and does dressage with her. As i was waiting for my time to ride a noticed a girl who was about 9 and had her own horse. Her mom was doing all the work because the girl was kinda tiny. That girl was in the same class as my friend and I. My friend came in first and the lady's daughter second. When we were picking up ribbons the mom saw who and beat her daughter and goes
" oh honey you were beaten by the girl on the donkey"
Daughter: " no its a mule"
Mom: " Whats the difference" 
My friend and i heard this whole conversation since we were behind them and started cracking up. For someone who supposedly knew about horses she really didnt have a clue


----------



## A knack for horses

MustHeartHorses said:


> I've had fullgrown adult walk up to me and ask me if a mare was a breed of horse. I had to forcibly stop my self from laughing outloud. lol


I was working at a horse camp one summer and I was watching a horse for one of the other camp staff. And camp girl came up to me (no older than 7) and said:
"What is the horses name?"
So I porceeded to tell her the horses name was Hollywood and he was a palomino...yadda yadda...and that he was a gelding.
When I said this, the girl said:
"Isn't Hollywood a boy?"
Me: "Yes, He is a Gelding."
Girl:"No, he is a Stallion becuase only stallions are boys. A gelding is a old horse."

Oh boy. I'm sure a few smirks got out as I explained to her what a gelding was.


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## shaker

My grandfather owned a towing and repair company when I was a kid. My dad had towed in three guys that had come up north to go hunting and broke down. So while my dad was working on their truck one of the guys asked if we had a junk yard dog, which my dad replied "yes and he is big, but won't hurt a fly" referring to our German Shepard.

About five minutes later my pony walks up behind the guy that asked about the dog, trying to steal his cigarettes out of his back pocket.( My grandfather fed Tiny tobacco and he loved it) He spins around and in a panicked voice stutters " That's the biggest dog I have ever seen!!!!!"

His two buddies picked on him saying they didn't want to take him hunting because he was going to shoot somebodies cow.


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## DSJ46

The other day at the stables, a friend and I were talking about my mare, who was in season. My horsey friend's non-horsey friend was there with her and asked "how can you tell?" I said, "one way is 'winking.'" She gave me an odd look and said, "the girl horse winks at the boy horse?" I smiled slyly and nodded. She seemed astonished but even more perplexed by the horsey people laughing at her misunderstanding. I don't know if my friend explained things later.


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## fuzzyfeet

I was showing last weekend, and as I was mounting my mom passed me my crop, asking if I would like my "hitting stick". Also, my pony has a grazing muzzle because he is prone to laminitis, and my mom refers to that as his "face basket" lol


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## jamesqf

DSJ46 said:


> The other day at the stables, a friend and I were talking about my mare, who was in season. My horsey friend's non-horsey friend was there with her and asked "how can you tell?" I said, "one way is 'winking.'" She gave me an odd look and said, "the girl horse winks at the boy horse?" I smiled slyly and nodded. She seemed astonished but even more perplexed by the horsey people laughing at her misunderstanding. I don't know if my friend explained things later.


Now how is this anything funny on her part? Seems like - if you'll forgive the bluntness - another example of an arrogant in-crowd not bothering to explain their private language to curious outsiders. SHE is not the stupid one, you folks were just acting like jerks.


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## Indyhorse

jamesqf said:


> Now how is this anything funny on her part? Seems like - if you'll forgive the bluntness - another example of an arrogant in-crowd not bothering to explain their private language to curious outsiders. SHE is not the stupid one, you folks were just acting like jerks.



Quite frankly, if I didn't already know better, I think I'd prefer NOT having someone explain "winking" to me and leave me mystified.  The idea of a mare batting her eyelashes at the boys is a much better mental image. :lol:


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## Ray MacDonald

Kay sorry DUDE, but did you not read the title to this forum? Sorry for being blunt


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## Sunny

jamesqf said:


> Now how is this anything funny on her part? Seems like - if you'll forgive the bluntness - another example of an arrogant in-crowd not bothering to explain their private language to curious outsiders. SHE is not the stupid one, you folks were just acting like jerks.


 Okay, i've tried to hold my tongue, but i've had it. If you don't like what people are saying, stop reading the thread. No one is being arrogant, or thinks they're better than people who don't work with horses. It's just funny when people say something "horsey" and it just doesn't work. Like "winking at the boy horse." You have zero space to call anyone else a jerk. You are coming onto this thread, waiting for a post that you dislike so you can talk about how arrogant every else is and how proud you are. Pot, meet kettle.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Ray MacDonald

Exactly! ^^ Good job


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## xdrybonesxvalleyx

^ Awesome.


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## rocky pony

Agreed...:?


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## DSJ46

Wow, James, you took this way too seriously! For one, we were not acting like jerks (that was an unfair thing to say!); we were talking about a mare in season. I did find it humorous (I didn't laugh at her!) that she thought "winking" meant winking. And somehow I didn't think it appropriate for a 46 year old man to be talking vaginal activities to a 15 year old girl! Lighten up!


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## Quedeme

Amen Sunny!!! Thank you!!!

I have a funny story!!!

I am going to boarding my horse in the back 'yard' (3-4 acres with a barn and perfectly fenced for horses) tomorrow, and I was asking about what kind of use of the barn I had and what kind of experience this guys girls had when they got lessons. So the dad is talking about how they were taught to get them out of the pasture, 'rope' them (put them in the cross ties lol), then 'carve out' their feet (picking hooves). lol, I just kinda chuckled and smiled and nodded. Horse terms are a funny thing sometimes lol. 

Part of paying off my board is teaching the family horsemanship, so I can see many funny stories on the horizon!!! But the people are amazingly nice and very sincere!!!

Also, my two sense on James thinking that 'horse-lingo' is an arrogent click is a bit chaffing...just like ANY hobby, there are different terms that only people in that hobby know...just like a dog breeder calling a breeding female a *****...but you say that to someone who isn't all 'into' the lingo, they will think a curse word before the actual meaning. Or 'Fly-Fishing'...I'm sorry...but just WHY would anyone want to fish for flies? lol ~_^

Now, I could easily go on to say many more things specifically directed at you you James...but unlike some...I'm not a 'jerk'. Have a nice day! ^_^


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## jamesqf

Quedeme said:


> Also, my two sense on James thinking that 'horse-lingo' is an arrogent click is a bit chaffing...just like ANY hobby, there are different terms that only people in that hobby know...


Of course every field has its own terms. It's not arrogant to have the horse lingo, it's arrogant to laugh at people outside the hobby who do not know what you insiders mean by your special uses of words, especially words - like "winking" - that have completely different meanings in ordinary use. Try putting yourself in the other person's position, asking about some hobby that you're honestly curious about, and see how funny you think it is.


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## ErikaLynn

jamesqf said:


> Of course every field has its own terms. It's not arrogant to have the horse lingo, it's arrogant to laugh at people outside the hobby who do not know what you insiders mean by your special uses of words, especially words - like "winking" - that have completely different meanings in ordinary use. Try putting yourself in the other person's position, asking about some hobby that you're honestly curious about, and see how funny you think it is.


But this thread is all about funny things people say, if you dont like then you can just get out.

And im sure after winking was explained to her, she thought it was funny too.


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## Quedeme

-shrugs-

I've been in the other people's shoes....and when they explained to me what they was funny....I thought it was funny too...

Do you think we are just born with these terms? Please....I ready MANY a book that only had mundane, everyday speech then when I actually had to TALK to a 'real' horse person was totally lost on what was being said until they had to tell me what it meant...The fact that you are so against this subject shows your insecurity in your own knowledge of 'horse-lingo'....Get over it and let other people have fun...

And if you don't think other people in other hobbies laugh at 'outsiders' for not knowing something they feel is second nature...you're wrong, and you might as well go harang every football fan who makes fun of baseball or a scuba diver who makes fun of a snorkeler...

This is meant to be a fun little post and the fact that you have tried to pull it down leaves me frustrated with you, and sad for you that you can't even smile at silly things....

If you don't like hearing these stories...stop reading this thread...


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## shaker

I am not overly versed in horse termonology, but I have found this thread entertaining and educational.

Carry on I am enjoying the topic, but not the bickering.


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## DSJ46

Ok, James I will put myself in the other person's shoes. When I was first getting into gourmet cheese, I went to a tasting. I ate the brie rind along with the cheese and told someone "I liked the soft middle of brie but not the outside." The person found it amusing, as though I had eaten a banana peel. And you what? I laughed at myself then, and I laugh at myself now. WE WERE NOT LAUGHING AT ANYONE! We were just talking, and a term can up, and it was misunderstood in a humorous way. We were all freinds there. Maybe you have some issues of your own you need to work out.


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## DSJ46

Good advice, shaker.


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## DSJ46

When I told my 8 year old daughter that horses do a "mating dance," she drew a picture of what she imagined. The filly wore a ball gown. We both got a laugh at that one.


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## TheRoughrider21

DSJ46 said:


> Wow, James, you took this way too seriously! For one, we were not acting like jerks (that was an unfair thing to say!); we were talking about a mare in season. I did find it humorous (I didn't laugh at her!) that she thought "winking" meant winking. And somehow I didn't think it appropriate for a 46 year old man to be talking vaginal activities to a 15 year old girl! Lighten up!


My computer screen is covered in milk. hahaha this was perfect! if a 46 year old man tried talkin to me about vaginal activities...I probably woulda slapped him. =P


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## flamingauburnmustang

^^ I was thinking the same thing! :lol: :lol:


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## Quedeme

LOL RoughRider!!!

I'd have probably slapped him too, though I KNOW I'd be laughing at the same time!


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## DSJ46

Wow, saved myself lots of slapping! ; )


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## Quedeme

They would all be playful lol.


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## DSJ46

Still makes me glad I didn't try to explain in the first place.


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## TheRoughrider21

Quedeme said:


> LOL RoughRider!!!
> 
> I'd have probably slapped him too, though I KNOW I'd be laughing at the same time!


I probably woulda had to slap him from the floor...cause I woulda been on the floor laughing. =P


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## DSJ46

I am glad most have a sense of humor about it all. The joke, I think, concerns the terms as much as those who might not be "in the know." The one that is still used in horseracing that surprises me (although I use it) is "broke his/her maiden." Even a second thought makes one think this term is (maybe) sexist and certainly a somewhat inappropriate image.


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## Carleen

My boyfriend last night while watching the farrier trim Flash's feet: "Any man that is willing to put a horse's foot that close to his junk is my HERO!" :lol:


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## A knack for horses

DSJ46 said:


> Wow, James, you took this way too seriously! For one, we were not acting like jerks (that was an unfair thing to say!); we were talking about a mare in season. I did find it humorous (I didn't laugh at her!) that she thought "winking" meant winking. And somehow I didn't think it appropriate for a 46 year old man to be talking vaginal activities to a 15 year old girl! Lighten up!


Thank you for not explaining that to her. And I hope I never get into a conversation with my instructor about stuff like that (he is of retireing age,and I am in high school, if that gives you a picture of the age difference).

If he is talking about what a pelham bit is, I'm all ears. But if he starts explaining "winking" to me........akward :shock:.


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## DSJ46

For some reason, all this talk of specialized terminology reminds me an episode of King Of The Hill in which Hank is filling in as shop teacher and he tells his students they will have to use a "butt joint." Of course, the boys all snicker, and Hank, THINKING he understands why, says, "oh, ho, yes, you got me--you'll need a MITERED butt joint..."


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## westerncowgurl

Carleen said:


> My boyfriend last night while watching the farrier trim Flash's feet: "Any man that is willing to put a horse's foot that close to his junk is my HERO!" :lol:


HAHAHA i laughed so hard i almost cried


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## riccil0ve

It took me about two hours to read this whole thread. My, the things poor people do on vacation! Haha.

So folks, meet Maizy.










Maizy is the chestnut, owned by a friend, sharing a meal with my girls.

My friend and I went out on a trail ride one day, and we had to walk by the property owner's mother's house. This woman is closing in on 90, and perhaps a little off. So she stops and talks to us for a minute, and tells my friend that her mare is so pretty, she loves dappled horses. Dappled? Then the woman asks my friend if her horse is a Thoroughbred. A thoroughbred?! Maizy is an Arab/Welsh mix, and stands at exactly 13.3hh. But ever since then, when I ask my friend how Maizy is doing, I say, "How's your dappled Thoroughbred getting along these days?"


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## aspin231

^lol
I think that people sometimes just pretend to know all about horses to try to impress the horse people... and fail miserably


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## Juniper

aww, I love the dappled thoroughbred story


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## Quedeme

lol Oh man...now I have to ask...

What's breaking a maiden? o.o
And...what's a butt joint? Mittered or otherwise?

Also...totally agree with Carleen's bf about the hero comment lol. I feel blessed every time I see SOMEONE ELSE doing my horse's feet lol.


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## TheRoughrider21

DSJ46 said:


> I am glad most have a sense of humor about it all. The joke, I think, concerns the terms as much as those who might not be "in the know." The one that is still used in horseracing that surprises me (although I use it) is "broke his/her maiden." Even a second thought makes one think this term is (maybe) sexist and certainly a somewhat inappropriate image.


I had to read this post twice to make sure I was seeing things right and then I broke out in crazy laughter. I think I'm gonna tell my mom that I broke my maiden...lovely mental image. =P



Carleen said:


> My boyfriend last night while watching the farrier trim Flash's feet: "Any man that is willing to put a horse's foot that close to his junk is my HERO!" :lol:


hahaha oh this brings me back to last summer. Our farrier is..hotter then the sun. And he's only a few years older than me. So he was working on a draft horse that hadn't been done before and I was holding her. She stepped forward as he had her leg up by his junk and he flew into me. The non-horsey guy that was watching us, "Did your cup help protect you?" Me and my farrier both burst out in laughter.


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## A knack for horses

riccil0ve said:


> It took me about two hours to read this whole thread. My, the things poor people do on vacation! Haha.
> 
> So folks, meet Maizy.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Maizy is the chestnut, owned by a friend, sharing a meal with my girls.
> 
> My friend and I went out on a trail ride one day, and we had to walk by the property owner's mother's house. This woman is closing in on 90, and perhaps a little off. So she stops and talks to us for a minute, and tells my friend that her mare is so pretty, she loves dappled horses. Dappled? Then the woman asks my friend if her horse is a Thoroughbred. A thoroughbred?! Maizy is an Arab/Welsh mix, and stands at exactly 13.3hh. But ever since then, when I ask my friend how Maizy is doing, I say, "How's your dappled Thoroughbred getting along these days?"


I'm not laughing at the lady, bless her soul she gave it her best shot. But that is what I love about the older generation. I have a 90 year old lady who lives next door and she always tries to talk the ganster lingo with her graddaughter (who is a total druggie ganster type) . I give her credit for trying, but some of the stuff that she says is just sooo funny!!!


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## DSJ46

A thoroughbred "breaks its maiden" when it wins its first race. It literally refers to the physical losing of one's virginity. It really is a rather unfortunate phrase, I think. Have no idea about the butt joint; carpentry is not my thing. ; )


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## HeySoulSister

I love these.


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## TheRoughrider21

Quedeme said:


> lol Oh man...now I have to ask...
> 
> What's breaking a maiden? o.o
> And...what's a butt joint? Mittered or otherwise?
> 
> Also...totally agree with Carleen's bf about the hero comment lol. I feel blessed every time I see SOMEONE ELSE doing my horse's feet lol.


I just had to look butt joints up...even though I thought I knew what they were...I was right.

"Butt Joints are the most basic method for connecting two pieces of wood, and while it isn't the strongest of joints, it is very useful in some situations. There are some proper techniques that should be followed to ensure that your butt joints are as strong as possible. 

A butt joint is where one piece of stock is butted against another and affixed with glue. The joint is usually strengthened by screws or nails."

lmfao! "There are some proper techniques that should be followed to ensure that your butt joints are as strong as possible." My cousin's a carpenter...I'll have to ask him what the proper techniques are...I want my butt joints as strong as possible! =PPP


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## flamingauburnmustang

^^ Some of those sound soooo wrong....um...ahem...ew? :lol:

I guess in a way it could help with our riding....to.....? Anyway. :mrgreen: :wink:


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## DSJ46

I spend the entire evening riding Sassy bareback, so my butt joints are a bit sore. ; )


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## rocky pony

^^^ hahahaha


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## fuzzyfeet

I used to tell my parents I wanted a Palomino before I got Wally. My dad asked me why a paloNICEo wouldn't be better. He thought he was so funny.


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## King

All my family and friends are horrified when I play with Obie's tail.
They warn me, saying that he will kick, all horses will kick if you stand behind them... uh yeah okay, so why isn't he kicking me now?


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## xdrybonesxvalleyx

Older people are indeed hilarious. Somewhat on topic, I was at my great grandfather's and my mother was preparing his hearing aid battery and my father his medicines (he's 94 years old now), and he in an instant it seemed swallowed the hearing aid battery. It was hilarious, but we were like OMG. Poison Control said not to worry about it, that he'd be fine--but it was hilarious because it happened so fast, and when we finally managed to get him to understand he was liike "oh, okay!" --he's done a quadruple bypass, brain surgery, been captured POW by Nazis--this was nothing to him!


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## Speed Racer

Gettin' old ain't fer wimps.


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## DSJ46

Getting old...it starts earlier than you think... Last year, I went down to Santa Anita to see the Breeder's Cup (yeah, Zenyatta!), and while I was there, I took my kids to Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm--and I broke a rib on a roller coaster. Breaking bones at an amusement park.


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## Indyhorse

DSJ46 said:


> Getting old...it starts earlier than you think... Last year, I went down to Santa Anita to see the Breeder's Cup (yeah, Zenyatta!), and while I was there, I took my kids to Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm--and I broke a rib on a roller coaster. Breaking bones at an amusement park.



Oh, not to laugh at you but that's the perfect description of gettin' old, ain't it? :rofl:


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## Speed Racer

That's just sad, DSJ. 

Couldn't you tell people you broke your rib doing something really macho? Like fighting off ninjas? Or saving an abandoned baby from a pack of hungry, feral dogs?


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## DSJ46

Did I not mention the ninjas and the feral dogs on the ride??? It was the Ninja Feral Dog Express...yeah, yeah, that's the ticket...


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## aspin231

^lol. Was the baby in the cart in front of you?


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## DSJ46

A whole cart of babies...kidnapped from their mothers, they were...yeah! that's it! And I was their only hope...


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## Carleen

Slightly off topic (but on topic of getting old): in the news today was a story about an old woman who was being moved to a long-term care facility. While her family was cleaning out her apartment they found that she had a live grenade she had been using as a paperweight. :-|


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## aspin231

A grenade? Holy man! That's intense!


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## BackInTheSaddleAgain

Someone I know, who has no horse experience in the least, decided to get a mini donkey. We had to rescue it from a park a few days ago. She tied it to a chair . Donkey took off... chair and all. lol


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## Juniper

palo mean o and palo nice o. funny dad!


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## LoveStory10

I got a picture of Love drawn for me,and I showed my mom since it looked FAB! And she goes "How do you know thats Love?"

Ummmm..... I think I know what my girlie looks like lol


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## KateKlemmer

this is more annoying than funny.
I had a 30+ year thin old paint/quarterhorse. (he passed this year)
no matter what, or how much I fed him, he didn't put on weight. His teeth were floated yearly. Up to date on wormers. he was just old and skinny.

Last winter, an Officer knocked on our door saying he had to see him. Some ignorant city-slicker had called the police on us. ugh. 
but thankfully, the cop understood


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## Speed Racer

Kate, how do you know it was a 'city slicker'? Maybe one of your neighbors who didn't know his story called.

Besides, why are you annoyed? Wouldn't you call on someone else if you saw what appeared to be an old, sickly, skinny animal? At least someone cared enough to try and make sure you were doing right by the old boy. 

Too many animals die from neglect, abuse and starvation because people can't be bothered to make one simple phone call.

Think of it that way, instead of being angry.

DSJ, defending a whole slew of babies from a pack of feral dogs and ninjas sounds so much better than just breaking your rib on the roller coaster.


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## aspin231

I agree with SR. Old doesn't necessarly mean skinny. I would have reported it as well.


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## Jordan S

*where do you ride?, at Hollywood park right??? (racetrack in LA) 
*

*Can he see out of that, (then the mom says) yeah those are used to that the horses won't get distracted* (referring to fly masks)

*What are things you jump over?*
jumps?
*yeah that*


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## corinowalk

DSJ46 said:


> Did I not mention the ninjas and the feral dogs on the ride??? It was the Ninja Feral Dog Express...yeah, yeah, that's the ticket...


 
Love This!


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## Delfina

Came home this morning and told the hubby my horse was lame and that my trainer should be calling. He looked horrified and said "So that's it for her?" Huh!? Turns out he thought that if a horse turned up lame, you needed to go shoot it!


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## dedebird

lol i have a lame story to LOL i was at a show and the judges told me my horse was lame (she wasn't >:O) and so i walked out of the arena and sat down with my horse (cause i could leave the other horse that was friends with my horse or he would go nuts >.<) so i told the horses owner (who was a bit of a n00b but not completly) that she was lame she got sooo angrey thinking he ment lame as in stupid i was to busy being angrey at the time but now that i think about it its reallly funny xD that horse is now mine actually ... she apparently has a problem from being old so the way she walks looks like lamness and shes fine btw xD


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## TheRoughrider21

I thought my horse was lame so I asked my non-horsey friend to walk him. She walked him around for awhile until I said, "Yep, he's lame." She looked at me with a confused look and said, "I thought you loved him and that he was the coolest horse ever...now you think he's lame?" I just laughed and then explained to her what I meant. =P


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## aspin231

^I've had to explain the meaning of 'lame,' as well as 'sound' several times.


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## ImpressiveLady

My mare has a crib collar. One day a friend of mine came to the farm, and she had a weird look when she saw my horse. 'Why is it wearing a neck brace?'

Another one was when my dad came out to see my horse. He had a curious look on his face, turned to me and asked 'They keep a cow with the horses?' He said pointing to my friend's paint gelding. 'That is a horse dad...'


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## lilkitty90

ok here is one from last night. we were talking with a bunch of people and their kids while walking through a neighborhood and the adults said it would be nice to breed our paint to get a pretty baby. we of course told them it was out of the question and continued to explain why. but one of the kids chimed in and said "a horse and a horse breed and make a baby donkey right???" it was TOOO cute lol


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## jjj3

When I was a kid, I was riding a horse and I think what actually happened was she tripped and somehow I ended up going over her head and gashed my head on the horn of the saddle which required some stitches. When a girl at school asked about my head, I told her that I had an accident on a horse and hit my head on the horn. She said, "Yeah right! Horses don't even have horns."

LOL (I'm sure I have said and will say some goofy crap. This is just classic in my book  )


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## HorseRLife

Lol I was away on hoildays and my gran and aunt went to visit My pony and she was wearing a fly mask and my aunt goes ' why is she blindfolded?' and then my gran goes 'i think its so she can't see ulgy people' my gran told me this and i just started laughing sooo hard!


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## Ray MacDonald

LOL! that was a good one!


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## Hunter65

That is funny. I will have to remember that.


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## Carleen

HorseRLife said:


> Lol I was away on hoildays and my gran and aunt went to visit My pony and she was wearing a fly mask and my aunt goes ' why is she blindfolded?' and then my gran goes 'i think its so she can't see ulgy people' my gran told me this and i just started laughing sooo hard!


LOL our grans sound like they have very similar personalities.

When I first started riding my gran, aunt and cousin came to watch a lesson and my boy cousin who was... I think 7 at the time was amazed that there were men who rode he horses and asked my gran how men ride horses without it hurting. She promptly told (and convinced!) him that men who ride horses do not have "junk".
:lol:


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## dedebird

lol thats funny xD


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## Tessa T

My boyfriend knows quite a bit about horses, but a few days ago I was looking at a Thoroughbred I wanted on the Internet and he looked over my should and said "Mmm, Thoroughbred, that's good." I asked him what he meant and he said "Well that horse is thoroughly bred, that's good, right?" I started to laugh as I explained to him that it is in fact a breed. Lol


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