# out of our league. BIG TIME! lol



## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Well, I have just moved my guy to the area of my summer home. I am older, no longer have a desire to compete, but do like my horse to behave, perform correctly, etc. Here is the deal. I have moved to a temporary place with an indoor. It is a gorgeous facility, truely top notch. Horse is well cared for. Here's the thing. I used to do the H/J thing, now ride western, do NH, and just in general, MUCH more casual. This new barn....well....the boarders and trainers....I feel WAY out of my leaugue. I was intimidated to even RIDE today! I just did ground work and called it a day. Mostly because a trainer was there to train and give lessons on an unbelievable Belgian Warmblood.....drop dead gorgeous, and in talking to this trainer, who is really very pleasant...he spent a year living with Anky.......:shock: Hmmm..... here I am with my little PMU rescue, that I love to death.....who I have fun with and have finally gotten my confidence back........I doubt I will ever ride in the ring with this guy-lets just put it that way. I feel like I need to go out early in the am before anyone shows up, work my horse and leave.......and yet-we are entitled to have fun and use the ring as much as anyone.....what to do? First off, they look at me like I am nuts since I have the ONLY western saddle around. I don't use a bridle, AND, I do Parelli:shock:
Noone says anything, I just feel uncomfortable. How do I get past this?
I am only here briefly, until the weather is better, then move to my friends, and back to just fun stuff.


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## EmilyandNikki (Sep 7, 2010)

Right now, that barn IS a different league. Different discipline, different training and defiantly different class horses. 

But what you need to do is NOT focus on them. You need to follow the saying "Dance like no-ones watching" (or sing like no-ones listening). 
You just need to go out, ignore them and do your own stuff!
Hey, maybe you'll start a new trend in that barn! But really, you just need to do what you would do anywhere else and use your horse to his potential and ignore the other horses. 
Your horse is more valuable to you then anyone else. To you he is priceless, so just go into the arena and act like he is the most valuable horse in the world and ignore those jealous folk.


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## crimsonsky (Feb 18, 2011)

EmilyandNikki said:


> Right now, that barn IS a different league. Different discipline, different training and defiantly different class horses.
> 
> But what you need to do is NOT focus on them. You need to follow the saying "Dance like no-ones watching" (or sing like no-ones listening).
> You just need to go out, ignore them and do your own stuff!
> ...


x's 2!!


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## Lonestar22 (May 22, 2009)

Agreed. Be proud that your the one who can control your horse without a bridle. Don't be scared to use the facilities you pay for. Flaunt your western saddle with pride. They're probably just curious about you, since your new and all.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Thanks all Great advise. Perhaps they will actually learn something from us!-it will be interesting! I was talking to the BM yesterday. Amazing what some of these people put up with.....One horse runs into his stall, so they put a mat outside the door so he won't slip......poor baby. BM is afraid he will get run over! I say-how about teaching some manners? Hmmmmm. Guess that is optional. Thank goodness, mine is a perfect gentlemen....HE BETTER BE! lol


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

There you go right there. That proves you're out of place!! You're horse has manners  LOL.

Just go about your business and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. If they don't like the way you do things, they are more than welcome to look in the other direction :wink:.


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## starlinestables (Nov 24, 2008)

I went to school at Virginia Intermont and it is all hunter/jumper/dressage.. The last week or two of school they did a few western "lessons".. we all put on a western saddle and "ran barrels" or "pole bending". Western was the coolest thing those couple of weeks! Even people who rode with a coach that wasn't doing western, they'd come ride western in their free time.

If you know what your doing in a western saddle and are friendly towards the other boarders.. then trust me.. you are the cool kid! Enjoy!


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## morabhobbyhorse (Apr 17, 2011)

Hi Frankenbeans. I'm in a kinda similar situation. I'm moving my rescue closer to me next month. she's been with the same woman for 3 years, and I'm really sad about it but excited at the same time. Hey, I'll be the only person there WITHOUT a western saddle, LOL because I don't own a saddle, just a bareback pad. The woman I had her with was always telling me I didn't need to spend my money on this or that (which is limited I know) and I had to scramble to get brushes and my own rope halter and attached lead. She's taught me so much about natural horsemanship and I'm very grateful for all her help and also letting me use her things, but it leaves me in the lurch now. I recently bought a bosal, mecate reins and a nice set of hobbles for Sienna because I'd like to be able to take off for the day with her, go fishing and be able to untack her and let her graze. My now barn manager was disgusted saying she had all of those things. But I know how you feel. The other people there wear Ariat boots to muck around in, and mine are from the mission, LOL. They have matching tack with bling that probably cost more than I get in a year on SSDI, and wear rail shirts to hang out in. This new place has a 'horse car wash' LOL and I was so fascinated I spent 15 minutes looking at it. Of course it costs. They do lots of things there which I'm looking forward to, if not competing just watching. They bring their cows in on Sundays for patrons to work with ($20.00 bucks an hour, LOL) and have what I would consider a show halter on their horses all the time where as my nylon one I think was red but faded to pink, LOL and was given to me. The barn manager tried to give me a new one but Sienna's head is small and I didn't want to have to poke holes in it. I'm the only person who is going to be doing 'rough' board although I could live in their run ins. I'm definitely going to be the 'poor' cousin at this place. But Sienna is beautiful enough to make what I have look good I think, and if i wear used Levis and they wear Hobby Horse, I am not going to be intimidated by it. I'll do my ground work in the outside arena while they practice for shows inside. And they'll learn to love us, LOL.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Hey-are you the one outbidding me on ebay for the levis? Bad on you/! Lol. These people are all in britches and hunt boots.....been there, done that, and prefer the levis.;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## morabhobbyhorse (Apr 17, 2011)

*Is that me doing that?*

 I'll admit that's exactly where I get my Levis, somehow paying full price just pains me


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## Poseidon (Oct 1, 2010)

My BO leased his previous barn and recently bought his own. Its much larger and fancier and there were boarders there before who are still there. The majority of them have fancy warmbloods and ride English (this is weird anyway because most people in this area are western). There are only a handful of western people there. 

I flaunt my western saddle and all of my obnoxious purple tack.


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## RATHER BE RIDING (Dec 7, 2010)

Franknbeans, you are older and wiser. You are only out of your league because they have not caught up with you yet. So many of these people have lost all focus as to what it means to have the privilege of horses in their life. There is so much more gratification from truly connecting with your horse, then just paying the big bucks to keep up with everyone else. I also am an older rider that has been there, done that and have never been happier with my horses as I am now. Life is no longer about showing and stress. It is about connecting with my horses and appreciating the peace and calm they bring to my life. You should be proud that you are not the one spending the big bucks on overblown trainers and fancy crap that is all for show. I say, ride proudly, who cares what they think. At the end of the day, you go home relaxed and remembering the enjoyment your horse brings to you. They go home stressed out over the what the trainer chewed them out for and what else they can BUY to make their horse perform better. Just smile, because you have a secret that they haven't discovered yet.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

If they don't mind you, why should you mind them? It would be different if they start telling you how to ride or try to enforce a dress code, but until then, live and let live. Some folks really enjoy dressing up to ride, and serious dressage riders are still serious about their horses and riding, which is OK by me. As long as they would extend the same courtesy to me, I'd be content.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

BSMS-I really am trying to pay them no mind-let them stare, as they hang on their horses mouths, can;t get them to stand in the cross ties, etc, while mine just ground ties. But, what is starting to bug me, and I may have to talk to the BO about it-is the little arena calendar in the tack room. I check it daily when I leave, so I know when I can ride the next day, since people can "reserve" the ring. If it is in red-noone else may use the ring at the same time. If not-others can ride also. Several times already I have checked it out, gone home, come back the next day and the schedule is full-all red. So, I will either say something to the BO, or I will just start "reserving" it myself. One person, who rents it twice a week, at 2 hrs a crack-pays $10, and gets it to herself. She is NOT a boarder. I think the people who pay the big bucks shoudl have dibs over the $10 people. But-like I said-if they want to play-I will be glad to. I will reserve it myself if this continues. mind you there are less than 10 boarders! I have yet to even get a place to hang my headstall! I lay it over my saddle, which I keep on a cart, since none of the holders will hold it.....


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## EmilyandNikki (Sep 7, 2010)

I would just reserve it a few times a week if that kept happening to me! So I would make certain times red and everyone else can suck it up. I would probably get someone else in on it so then I wold have company when riding and someone else gets to ride, but someone who is not a jerk obviously. Don't know if you have any friends close who can trailer and rent with you?


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## usandpets (Jan 1, 2011)

franknbeans said:


> Thanks all Great advise. Perhaps they will actually learn something from us!-it will be interesting! I was talking to the BM yesterday. Amazing what some of these people put up with.....One horse runs into his stall, so they put a mat outside the door so he won't slip......poor baby. BM is afraid he will get run over! I say-how about teaching some manners? Hmmmmm. Guess that is optional. Thank goodness, mine is a perfect gentlemen....HE BETTER BE! lol


 I'll probably get bashed for this. I'm not saying that ALL show people are like this, but I have met several that treat people that don't show or work at the barn like trailer trash. Many of the show horses don't have good ground manners either. My wife has worked at different barns that considered themselves show barns. When I visited her there, I would see this. I would also help her bringing the horse in or out. Many would pull on you or dance around so much you had to be on your toes with them.

I drive a beat up older car and the show people have nice, newer trucks or expensive cars. When I was younger, I felt I had to impress or get other peoples approval. I worked hard to get nice things and make it seem like I had money when I didn't. One day I got tired of trying to make others happy when I wasn't. That day I started living MY life and didn't care what anyone else thought. I finally was letting myself be happy. I know this isn't exactly what you're going through but the principle is the same. Do what makes you happy and never mind the other people.

As for the using the arena, I would reserve time for yourself or ask the BM to schedule open time for anybody. They can set aside one or two hours for anybody to ride. BTW, where is that place? Only $10 to rent an arena? That's really cheap! I think around here they charge $50 for an hour.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Would rather not say where it is, for obvious reasons-but it is not in the midatlantice, where I live in the winter and it IS expensive there. But still $500+ per month board is a lot around here!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## sarahver (Apr 9, 2010)

Frank, I hope that this post was made at least a little in jest as the badarsssse image of you in my mind will be slightly tarnished if I really believe that you are intimidated by a couple of showies.

Cmon, you're tougher than that!!

Gotta say though in regards to this post:



RATHER BE RIDING said:


> Franknbeans, you are older and wiser. You are only out of your league because they have not caught up with you yet. So many of these people have lost all focus as to what it means to have the privilege of horses in their life. There is so much more gratification from truly connecting with your horse, then just paying the big bucks to keep up with everyone else. I also am an older rider that has been there, done that and have never been happier with my horses as I am now. Life is no longer about showing and stress. It is about connecting with my horses and appreciating the peace and calm they bring to my life. You should be proud that you are not the one spending the big bucks on overblown trainers and fancy crap that is all for show. I say, ride proudly, who cares what they think. At the end of the day, you go home relaxed and remembering the enjoyment your horse brings to you. They go home stressed out over the what the trainer chewed them out for and what else they can BUY to make their horse perform better. Just smile, because you have a secret that they haven't discovered yet.


 
I LOVED reading this and it really struck home with me. I used to compete heavily as recently as five years ago and have just started going out to a few shows here and there again.

But the feeling of competing and winning just isn't the same as I remember. The big rush I used to have before, during and after an event now pales in comparison to the rush I get just by enjoying simple things with my horse - a quiet trail ride, a long grooming session or just a ride alone in the arena.

So while I will probably continue to compete, I have realised that it doesn't make me as happy as it used to and doesn't hold the same importance in my mind. I will also be moving barns in the near future and most likely to a show barn type of environment so I will be in a similar situation to you Frank! I plan to just keep my head down, stay out of the show related drama and continue to enjoy my beautiful girl.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

I loved that post also! I do still show, but just for fun. My guy could never hope to be competitive in reining, since he is a measly grade. But we still have fun at the small stuff., and we love to dress up for that! I prefer to live vicariously thru my friend, w
ho has the horse and skills to be competitive. I am her groom. Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## usandpets (Jan 1, 2011)

franknbeans said:


> Would rather not say where it is, for obvious reasons-but it is not in the midatlantice, where I live in the winter and it IS expensive there. But still $500+ per month board is a lot around here!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 I didn't really expect you to say where it was. But still, if they charge that much for board, why let a non-boarder use the arena so cheap? (you don't need to answer. Just kind of thinking out loud )


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## morabhobbyhorse (Apr 17, 2011)

Franknbeans that quite seems so true to me. I'm older too and I do think they just haven't caught up to us. But then again I'm going through my second childhood so I'm not sure. It started when I got my little rescue and I hope it never ends!!!!


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## cosmomomo (Aug 10, 2010)

I think I can see your situation from the opposite end. Our barn isn't quite as fancy as your new one sounds, but all of us ride english, and when someone came to board and did all the NH, western stuff (not to offend you, I just don't know that much about it ) I was kinda weirded out. Like, I know I shouldn't judge, but I thought they were a little crazy lol. But I got to know them, and although I'm not going to take up the same kind of things they do (i.e. the NH stuff) I was glad I got to know them and they ended up being just like everyone else, with their own views of how they train. They didn't try to push their ideas on me, and I didn't to them, and I think that's what I liked most. So I say go out and use the arena. Maybe someone will come up and ask what you're doing, and if you are polite about it, you might make a new friend


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Well, it is interesting to watch the reactions, for sure. Yesterday I happened to be the only one using the arena, so I took advantage of it, and was working my guy off line. He has been taught that you had better pay attention to me. Period. He got distracted, so I made him run, (maybe 3 times aroundd the arena total-loose at a full gallop) until he decided that I should be the center of his universe and he then walked over to me, and followed me like a puppy dog. The Bm was just staring...it was interesting. Nothing was said, but we will see if anyone says anything.
Anyway, I have been English, was my whole life, so I know the deal Cosmo. In fact, I was at a H/J barn with my last guy, who also did Parelli, but was my english horse. NH is not english exclusive, you know, in fact, in that barn they stared bc I would free school and just point and cluck and the horse took the jump I pointed to. So it is not a bad thing to teach for sure. I got sick of trying to free school fences on a line. I also have my old guy who doesn't know NH at all, and looks at me like I am from another planet if I try it. 
Guess, yeah, I am so past all that formal stuff, which now seems somewhat uppity to me frankly. I really am now at the point where I just want to have fun with him...compete occassionally, but if that becomes work and stress, that won't happen either. 
BTW-I also had to chuckle at my horse yesterday-I went out, and they had put a new horse next to him. Where the HUGE (like 17.3) warmblood dressage horse was....now a bay(same color) mini. My guy just was fascinated. I think he thinks they will shrink him too! lol:wink:


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