# Gator Country



## Zexious

It's finally here. My boy is finally here. <3

Headlights belonging to a big rig cut through the darkness at around 7 last night. Gator unloaded like a champ, and quickly settled into his cozy little box stall. The stable hand was very welcoming, and dressed Gator appropriately.
I am absolutely ecstatic to have my horse home.











A brief introduction... 
I'm Jen 










I am a college student on their last year of study at the University of Colorado at Boulder. I have been a Hunter/Jumper rider for fourteen years. Gator is my second horse, and was gifted to me by the best trainer I have ever had. He is a twenty year old, Hunt-Type Paint gelding. I love him to pieces. <3 He means everything to me, and I am so happy to have him home.










For those of you that have been following my other thread, you know that I had an accident a couple of months ago.










I fell off my boyfriend's third story balcony. I shattered my heel, broke my hip, tail bone, pelvis in four places, and cracked my skull in three. I have had two surgeries, spent two weeks in the hospital, two in a nursing home, but am family home. I am hobbling around on crutches, and may be able to start weight bearing soon. 










So... yeah. I'll be keeping up this thread as a journal, for both myself and Gator.  I hope everyone has a safe and happy New Year!!


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## gunslinger

I'll be following along as you blog.......how long do you think it's going to be before you're able to saddle up and ride a bit?

I take it you're out of school until the fall semester of 2014?

You sure look uncomfortable right now....hope everything continues to improve as days go forward....

By the way, Gator looks a lot like our QH Jack.....glad he's there with you as I'm sure having him there with you will give you more reason to get up a move around some...He's a beauty for sure...


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## Zexious

Hi, gunslinger!! I appreciate the first follow 8D

In regards to when I'll be riding.. It's going to be a while. 
Unfortunately, the doctor that did my second surgery and is still in charge of my ankle is a young doctor, and very conservative. Every precaution is taken. It's a good thing for my recovery, but a bad thing for what little patience I have. I just got my cast off today (yay!) and had a boot put on. That means I can at least bathe that part of my body now xD
Anyway! Long story story, I would guess not until February or March, per the doctor. It's driving me crazy already.

The assumption about school is correct. I worked very hard to get my **** together and graduate on time, but I have to put everything on hold anyway and that sucks. 
With luck I will be able to return during the summer semester.

How long have you had Jack? What kind of riding do you do with him? 

As a closing statement... :>


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## Cherrij

Zexious said:


> As a closing statement... :>


The like is for that. 
I hope you heal fast enough and the days without riding fly by like they never existed.


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## Zexious

Thank you, Cherrij! I really appreciate it. I am already chomping at the metaphorical bit.









A sad Jen looking longingly at other people's feetprintsies. xD


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## gunslinger

I bought Jack at three days old for DW....he's a cutting bread QH and now five years old......and only trail ridden....

I'm thinking if you can ride in February then you're healing up pretty quick....


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## Zexious

Gunslinger--You should post a pic of Jack.  He's just a baby, especially compared to his twinsie 8D
And yes, February isn't too far off... even though it certainly feels that way.


Jen managed to make a stupid move over the New Year's celebration, and **** of her significant other by getting sick and turning into a general rude face. Sometimes I feel as though I have the IQ of a peanut...


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## gunslinger

Zexious said:


> Gunslinger--You should post a pic of Jack.  He's just a baby, especially compared to his twinsie 8D
> And yes, February isn't too far off... even though it certainly feels that way.
> 
> 
> Jen managed to make a stupid move over the New Year's celebration, and **** of her significant other by getting sick and turning into a general rude face. Sometimes I feel as though I have the IQ of a peanut...


Well, did you apologize to him? Maybe an "I'm sorry" might be a good place to start?

Here's a picture of Jack....he's actually kind of faded in this picture... he's solid black...not a speck of white on him anywhere....


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## Zexious

I should have known better than to drink very much, considering I haven't at all since the accident. 
But yes, I apologized profusely and repeatedly. He seemed to accept my apology, and we spent the day together, but now I haven't heard from him. .___. Boys confuse me.


Jack does look a lot like Gator! They have the same, big butt :>
That's interesting that he's typically black! I would call Gator a "liver chestnut", but am not very familiar with genetics and stuff...


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## gunslinger

Yea, well, I've been married to the same woman for 29 years now....and I'll admit girls confuse me too...:wink: On the other hand.....she's my favorite person so go figure....

Drinking sure seems to bring you some misery.....now that reefer is legal out there maybe you should switch? LOL

I remember when I got to my first army unit in Kempo_op Korea...the first Sargent told me "We only have two enlisted barracks....the stoners are over there and the drunks are over there"......"pick one".... 

One thing about men is most only use a few colors and hardly ever use shades.....so, Jack is Black....more so in the summer when he's stalled during the day....

What about Gator? Are you able to get out and visit with him? Is he there with you or do you board him?


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## womack29

Hang in there you have a follower here. I wish you a speedy recovery and know you will be back in the saddle soon
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious

Gunslinger--It's reassuring to hear about successful marriages. There are entirely too many unsuccessful ones for comfort. Where did you meet your wife? Does she like horses, too?
As it turns out (and despite my location and pool of friends xD) I'm not a smoker. xD Drinking seems to bring me a bit of grief, but I don't see an end in sight quite yet...









I am able to visit Gator! He is boarded about ten minutes from my house (I live in super-suburbia). My mother, who is here visiting from Texas until I am able to drive, drives me out to see him.









This picture is sideways, and I don't know how to fix it. x.x My mom took me out to visit Gator before this big blizzard rolled in. He could gain about a hundred pounds, and I'd be happy. He's such a hard keeper x.x
Note my Hello Kitty towels on my crutches and new boot! 8D Heck yea metal!


Womack--Thank you!! I really appreciate it. All these positive thoughts must be helping, right?! <3


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## gunslinger

I met her in Miami.....and yes, she loves horses too....Jack is hers, as well as Sonny....both QH's.....me, I like that Cadillac ride.....so I ride Miss Lacy, a Spotted Saddle Horse by registry, but 100% bread out of pure Tennessee Walking horses....she's got a bald face and blue eyes and she's fly by wire.....that's her in my avatar....We trail rode 34 weekends last year....for 394 miles...

How did you wind up in CO?


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## Zexious

That is fantastic! It sounds to me like she has a great taste in horses ;D! 
I haven't spent much time in Tennessee, mostly just passing through on the way to horse shows in Kentucky, but it seemed like a lovely place and I bet you get lots of temperate weather to trail ride in. Is that your favorite thing to do together?
I'm still hung up on such a long marriage. You'll have to share your secret! :O

My parents were divorced when I was five, and my stepfather's job brought him out to Colorado when I was seven. My parents have since left for Texas (another job opportunity), but I chose to stay here. I absolutely love it.

I could do, of course, without the darn cold. x.x


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## gunslinger

The secret to a long marriage......hum....I'm only half of it, so I only have half the secret.....

Yes, horses are a very important at this point in our lives.....DW lost her only son a few years back....I started bringing home week old calves...and she'd raise them on a bottle....but every time it was time to put them in the freezer....well, it was hard on both of us....

So, I bought her Jack....which got her in with some other women who wanted her to trail ride with them.....as Jack was still several years away....I bought her Sonny Boy.......well, she got to having so much fun she wanted me to go with her......So I bought Miss Lacy.....who's over the last five years....became a real joy in my life.

We keep them here on our mini-farm....stall them about half the time....and they get feed and groomed twice a day.... they're very spoiled... .....but this is your blog...

Obviously, you love your horse too.....what's your plans once you're over this hump???


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## Zexious

Wow. That's... a mixture of heart breaking and fantastic. I can't imagine the pain that you and your wife went through in the loss of a son.
But it sounds as though horses have been a real blessing. It's funny how they have a knack for that sort of thing.  I also think it's important to have something that you both enjoy, and can share together.
I hope I can get boyfriend to like horses :O He's pretty wary of them, and says he's generally not a fan of things that are bigger than he is. xD But, the other day at the movies, he went so far as to say "In a few years when we settle down, do you want to get a house in the country so you can keep your horses on our property?" /SWOON. I just about died. <3 I think he's starting to realize that if we're going to be a "thing", horses are going to be part of it. xD


As for my plans... I really don't know. My plans originally were to start horse shopping this month. Gator is getting on the older side, and I want something shiny and new to compete with. Obviously that's not happening. xD So, I'll enjoy just Gator for now, and maybe start looking for another addition to our little herd come next January. 
I am looking forward to getting back to work and school and driving. Especially driving. With boyfriend living over an hour away, it puts a strain on our relationship when we aren't /both/ able to drive to see one another. ):

For now... my mom is taking care of me x.x










I'm typically a very independent person, so this is difficult.


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## womack29

So glad you got to go see Gator nothing like horse lovin. Remember the experiences on your life shape who you are and will become in life. Hang on there
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## womack29

Marriage and horses well I am fortunate to have a hubby that respects what I do. He rides dirt bikes and we haul together sometimes amusing to see people... because I used so much extra energy today being an idiot ....s faces when I unload my mare and the next thing to be Unloaded us a dirtbike. You do not have to marry a horse person just a perso that respects what you do
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious

womack--That's fantastic! It's great that you've found a way to 'share' in activities, even though you're passionate about different things. How long have you been married?

I'm interested to see how Boyfriend will handle the horse situation. We've been together about four months, and until last week Gator had been in Texas. I've had about five relationships, and none of them were supportive of my sport. So... we'll see. 
In his defense, he's way better than they were. xD



I am going out to see Gator today. There is a woman coming out to see about leasing him. I'm nervous and excited. She is an older professional, which is exactly the type of person I would like to lease Gator.
I always worry about coming across as professional, and hope everything goes well. I know it's not about me, but girls my age often tend to get a bad rep...


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## womack29

We have been married 7 together 11. Trail riding on a horse and dirt bike are similar and we both have passion for what we do. I do have to remember to hug and kiss him
First when I get home prior to going to the barn to ride. An older professional is probably a better fit more responsible
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious

womack-- xD Hugs and kisses are an important part of any relationship! 


The meeting with the potential leaser went really well. She and Gator got along great--she has a couple more horses to see, will get back to me next week. I hope it works.

Happy Thursday, everyone! Here's a pretty picture 










Thanks to icanhascheezburger for all these lovely photos xD


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## womack29

Awesome
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious

My cousin and her boyfriend are coming to visit me from California (where all of my family except for my mother lives). It'll be exciting, as I don't get many visitors! Unfortunately, it'll mean a week with even less time with Gator. ):

Actually, now that I think of it... Boyfriend is coming to spend the weekend with me today, and he has yet to meet my fuzzy monster of a horse. I think that'll happen in the next few days, with pictures to come.










Unfortunately, I have no way to ensure they'll act mature around each other.


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## gunslinger

Good idea....get him to take you to visit Gator...I like it!


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## Zexious

Welp, boyfriend bailed on me. ): He's sick, so he won't be coming 'til mid week. But, in the meantime, I'm enjoying time with my family. I live a couple states away, as I said, and so I rarely get visitors (of the familial variety, at least! xD)

I hope everyone had a great weekend. Here's a silly photo to wrap it up 










Oh! And, go broncos


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## gunslinger

How's things? How's your injury?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious

Hello, friends!

I had a busy week with my family visiting. They went snowboarding and seemed to have a good time. I really miss everyone, and it's unfortunate that I'm not yet cleared to travel.


I went off on Boyfriend a bit, during a 'bout of drinking and gambling with my cousin, her boyfriend, and us two... because he didn't know Gator's breed. I know that's incredibly silly x.x But he apologized and said, as usual, that I was right, and he has since been more interested in my expensive hobby.
Gator got to meet Boyfriend, as well as cousin and her boy, for the first time this weekend. I totally forgot pictures ): I think they were all kind of intimidated by him.

My injuries are doing alright. I start physical therapy again on Thursday, so I am stoked for that. One step at a time.

Oh, annnddd... BRONCOS ARE HEADED TO THE SUPER BOWL!










I'm actually a Raiders fan, but it would be pretty cool to have our hometown team to win. They haven't been since '98, two years before I moved to CO.


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## gunslinger

Well, a Tennessee fellow is obligated to root for Peyton Manning. GO BRONCOS!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious

Well, that Seahawks guy made such a butthead of himself, it looks like the Broncos just got a bunch more fans :/ xD










So, updates! My mom and I are going to spend a couple of nights in our local little gambling town called Black Hawk. It's very small and quaint--there aren't any clubs and there are very few bars, but it's pleasantly fun none the less. It will be nice to get away, and gambling is one of the things that I really enjoy. I get lucky with more than just falling off of balconies 


The woman who was interested in leasing Gator got back to me, and decided to go with another option. I'm a little bummed because it seemed like they got along well. But that's alright, I'll just renew the ad and keep trying ):


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## gunslinger

Well, did you win a fortune at the local gambling hall?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wallaby

I can't even believe I haven't seen+subscribed to this yet!! 

Equals:










[SUBBING!!]


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## Zexious

xD Oh my goodness, that made me laugh so hard! I appreciate the sub, especially those of the silly Russian variety! 


I saw Gator yesterday. He's just not gaining weight the way I want him to ... ): I know /some/ of that is age, but not all of it. So I gave the vet a call, and am gonna have him dewormed again. He had it done last in September or October. Hopefully the vet will be able to get out within the next week. 

I had my first out-patient physical therapy today. My foot is still pretty swollen, and I have a long way to go. It tuckers me out, but I enjoy the challenge. I'm such a naturally competitive person, and this is pretty much all I get in the way of that. xD

I hope everyone has a great weekend! Some fun info:


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## gunslinger

gunslinger said:


> Well, did you win a fortune at the local gambling hall?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So, I take it now isn't a good time to ask you for a loan?


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## Zexious

D:! I totally missed your post, gunslinger!

To answer your question... no. ): Now isn't the time to ask for a loan.
I was up a little over a hundred the first night, and we decided to stay one more, and I ended up leaving down just under a hundred. So, not terrible, but hardly something to boast about.
Gambling is one of my favorite things to do, but I get frustrated with other people who don't know how to play x.x


I have another potential leaser coming to look at Gator tomorrow. It's a 6 year old girl o.o Honestly, it makes me a little nervous. It's been a couple of years since I was that age. 
I think I was tacking up full sized horses by myself by the time I was 7 or 8... But obviously she would be supervised by an adult (how else would she get there)?
To me, all chitlens look the same...


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## gunslinger

Well, how you doing? How's Gator?


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## Zexious

Hello, all! It's been a while since I've updated this!

Where to begin... Well, I had a doctor's appointment, and it came not a moment too soon. I have been very discouraged lately, as I came to the realization that many of my friends have been slipping from my life. Though I am very grateful to have not sustained worse (spinal or cognitive) injuries, this little accident has very successfully taken everything away from me. It's really hard to sit back and realize one day that you seem to have nothing; that you cannot even leave the house on your own. ):










Anyway, I know it may be slightly selfish of me to feel that way. I've gotten a little better, but still. It's just hard to sit on the side lines and watch the world turn around you.

The doctor's appointment went well. They cleared me to start hobbling around with the boot on, and I was stoked. Two days later I was walking without crutches, but I still have to wear the boot, so still no riding or driving. ): I should be good as new by March 1st!


The meeting with the little girl to lease Gator was a disaster. I was under the impression that the parents had some horse experience... Considering the father (through e-mails) said his wife had owned horses "all her life". That turned out to be a joke. They didn't know how to put on any of the tack (which I chalked up as them maybe having ridden a different discipline. Someone who owned trail horses their whole life wouldn't know anything about open front jumping boots xD), but I let the mother ride none the less.

Gator is the most push button Hunter in the world. She couldn't get him to stay on the rail, or even to trot. And when she dismounted she kicked him square in the spine! I was livid.
I told them thanks but no thanks (this was an accident waiting to happen), and subsequently decided not to lease out Gator. He is too nice of a horse to be subjected to that, and I have worked too hard to have all of his training undone by people who don't know what they're doing xD


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## Zexious

Update<3 Saturday, February 22nd, 2014.

Hey friends! Things are, slowly but surely, turning around. On Tuesday I was cleared to walk without my crutches. The process is annoying as hell, but I am pleased to be making progress. By default, this means I am finally able to handle Gator!

As it is the weekend (and I am still unable to drive) I coerced my mom into taking me out to the barn. It was windy as crap, but something I could easily ignore given the lovely indoor stall that Gator currently has. ...Even if he looks like a grumpy old man half the time.










I got him out of his stall (all by myself ;> ) and spent a solid forty five minutes brushing him, doing his mane and tail, and just loving on him. He's a far cry from his 'show self'--what with his unruly, long mane, general lack of muscle, etcetera) but I still love him to pieces.



















Look at the cute feet!! Literally the only white he has anywhere ever xD










There was a young girl (I'm terrible with ages, but I'd guess in her early teens) who was out there volunteering. She was hovering about while I was loving on Gator and, despite the selfish mom in me, I asked if she'd like to help me groom him. 
I typically have Gator turned out in the indoor, but it was occupied by the residential Therapeutic Riding program, and it was a pretty beautiful day, so I had him turned in the outdoor arena. Though I was able to do it myself, the girl (Katie) was adamant about wanting to lead him. I figured no harm, especially how slow I am... so I let her. 










She turned him out with the gate still open o.o So I'm glad I was able to close it before Gator decided it was a good idea to peace out.

Because the weather has been so crappy (and the Jen has been so gimpy) I really haven't had the chance to look at the outdoor arena. It's spacious and the footing isn't bad. It's flanked on two sides by paddocks, with some awfully cute Paints.



















Gator enjoying the sun.










Though /I/ wasn't too impressed with the wind.










Gator was feeling a little frisky. I haven't seen him move so fast in a long time xD




















It was starting to look as though the weather was getting bad, so I toddled back into the barn and said goodbye to my favorite little animal. <3










I could not get over how funny this crabby horse looked xD Thought I'd share with you all!










I also managed to hit the gym today, and get a nice swimming workout. It's not much, and my stamina is low, but every little bit helps, right? 
Hopefully next time I update, I'll be riding and not just taking really lame selfies ;D


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## frlsgirl

You have another follower  Glad you're re-united with your horse. Horses make everything better! Even though I was sick yesterday, I dragged myself to the barn to groom my girl - it's like therapy for the soul.


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## Zexious

I love followers! <3

I forgot to ask on your thread... what are you sick with? ):

Mini Update <3 Monday, February 24, 2014.

Had a busy couple of days. My stamina isn't up to where it used to be (not even close, as a person who went to the gym nearly twice everyday!) and so I get tired very easily. 

Despite being sillishly (which I know isn't a word, but totally should be) tired, I talked my mom into driving me to the gym. I only get to swim, and spent half the time in the hot tub. It feel nice to be making progress. 

My next doctor's appointment is on the 3rd. If all goes as planned (and it has thus far) I should be cleared to walk in a normal shoe. AAANNNDDD, by default, drive and ride! Aahhhh I am so excited!


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## frlsgirl

Zexious said:


> I love followers! <3
> 
> I forgot to ask on your thread... what are you sick with? ):
> 
> Mini Update <3 Monday, February 24, 2014.
> 
> Had a busy couple of days. My stamina isn't up to where it used to be (not even close, as a person who went to the gym nearly twice everyday!) and so I get tired very easily.
> 
> Despite being sillishly (which I know isn't a word, but totally should be) tired, I talked my mom into driving me to the gym. I only get to swim, and spent half the time in the hot tub. It feel nice to be making progress.
> 
> My next doctor's appointment is on the 3rd. If all goes as planned (and it has thus far) I should be cleared to walk in a normal shoe. AAANNNDDD, by default, drive and ride! Aahhhh I am so excited!


Ohhh a hot tub sounds good right now. I've been battling this sinus infection that has now turned into bronchitis. I'm starting a second round of antibiotics so hopefully that will nip it in the butt!

Glad your recovery is progressing so well!


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## Shropshirerosie

Just spotted your new thread, here to sub.

I love your positivity, and honesty. Oh, and you make me smile


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## Zexious

frlsgirl--Yikes! That sounds awful! Are you feeling any better?

Shropshirerosie--Thank you. I really appreciate that. I have tried to keep my chin up and stay strong, and it really means a lot that others notice it. 

Mini Update. Tuesday, February 25, 2014.

Though I still have a long way to go, my days are slowly starting to become more full and more exciting.

I had Physical Therapy today. It is joke amongst my friends that I am either "part vampire or part wolverine" as I heal so quickly. Which is a good thing, obviously! But, that said, I have reached the limit of what I can do before I see the doctor again. That is to say, I have made all the progress I can while still in the boot. With any luck (as I mentioned elsewhere) I will be out of a boot on Monday. Wish me luck in that regard!

On a lighter note, we have a thing here in Denver called "5280 Restaurant Week", where all of the fine dining restaurants in the Denver Metro area offer a three course meal for two for $60 (it used to be for "$52.80 xD). My mother and I went to a local steak house that we have been meaning to try, and it was fabulous! I had a wedge salad, a rare cut of prime rib, a couple cock tails (heh, 'dat drinking) and a chocolate pate for dessert. Ugh, it was so good, I'll definitely be back! 

I also had a nice phone conversation with boyfriend... I have been doing a lot of thinking recently... and, the more I do, the more I realize just how much I love and appreciate him. I hope we stay this in love forever.


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## gunslinger

I was always skeptical of Physical therapy, but after a car wreck I was sent to a PT center as part of my treatment.

I just knew I'd go under the knife but was pleasantly surprised at the result.

I'm a believer now as I got great results.

As a boy friend of my wife.....well, it's always nice to be missed....absence makes the heart grow fonder....as they say....


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## Zexious

gunslinger--Honestly, I've been very healthy and lucky up 'til now. The longest I had ever been in the hospital, or anything like it, was for about an hour to get a cast on when I was 8 or 9 xD
But PT has been awesome. I've worked with some very skilled people and, given my competitive nature, it entices me to work harder >D

Mini Update<3 Wednesday, February 26, 2014.

Yikes. That's really the only way I can describe today.

Late last night, I noticed my old cat (Tittles  ) was bleeding and seemed very restless. We waited until this morning... but things hadn't cleared up, and it was clear we needed to take him to the vet. He's like... one of my very best friends. He will be turning 17 next month. I saw him the first day he was born (I was 4, about to turn 5 xD). I remember, he looked like a little burrito. His eyes weren't even open yet.

Of course, one negative thing happened after another. We (my mom and I, who is still here since I can't drive) realized that our old carrier had somehow gotten broken. Probably between being moved around a lot and not being taken care of properly.
So, after making an appointment with the vet, we had to make a hasty run to Petsmart to purchase a cat carrier. Luckily, they were way less expensive than we thought. We also purchased some cat nip, in hopes it may make our lives a little easier.

To make matters worse, or handyman was supposed to come today, so do mild things (man things xD) around the house. Paint, change a lock, put up new blinds, etcetera.

Anyway! I, being the handyman myself!, put together the kennel and tried to get my poor, elderly cat into it. Long story short, it was a disaster. I had to literally tear my room apart to get him. All the sheets off my bed; the mattress and the box spring strewn about the room. At one point I thought I had squished him D: Finally, after quite the physical altercation, I managed to get him in the carrier and we got him to the vet.

Unsurprisingly, I burst into tears while he was getting examined. He has been a huge part of my life. He has been through every move; he has comforted me through countless breakups; he sleeps next to me nearly every night. I love him ):

After a thorough examination, the vet explained that it was likely a urinary tract infection. He has had one before. I was so relieved. 
Because he is so old, they did some blood work and xrays too. My mom and I ran to get some breakfast while they were finishing up with him, and had a very pleasant time once I managed to calm down. 

We stopped at home briefly, before getting a call that we could pick him up. More than $500 later, he was ready to come home. AND I got to see the naked cat that lives at the clinic. He's so cute! I really want one. I think they're just the cutest things. Boyfriend is going to have to put up with me getting one, someday 

The handyman finished up his work, and I spent some time with Tittles. He was glad to be home, and for things to quiet down.

Other people had a bad day, too. At least mine wasn't posted all over Twitter...








As posted by a conservative Texan. At least I can smile at someone else's mistake xD

In the evening, and only given the fact that I knew my little brother (that's what I call him xD) was going to be ok, I met a friend for a movie. Though she had seen it two times already, she insisted on seeing Frozen. I was much overdo in seeing it, and it was awesome! Another good production by our friends at Disney.  
I'm glad that I was able to get out and calm down a little. And now I'm certainly ready for bed. xD


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## Roux

New Follower Here! XD

Random Thoughts - 

I started a journal but I have let it expire and now just log my miles in the Trail Riding thread.

I am so sorry to hear about your accident! How did it happen? You have done remarkably dealing with that. Your posts can be so funny too.

I thought I was the only person to call horse neigh-neighs- when I read that I ****. 

The paint horse next to the arena has a head just like Roux, he even has that same stripe down his jaw line!

I had the same experience with my old dog last Monday. DH told me that he thought Griffin had a seizure during the night so we went to the vet Monday. Blood work, two new medications (for kidney and thyroid) and 500 bucks later the old man is back home. Hopefully he will be ok and should have a few more good years in him. Ive had him since he was a puppy and he is 10 now.

Well I am supposed to be studying (law student)...


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## Shropshirerosie

When posting cat into cat carrier - insert cat tail first.

This makes all the difference. :wink:


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## frlsgirl

I have to take both my dogs in tomorrow morning for their annual dental cleaning. Hopefully it won't be a big struggle to them in their carriers.


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## Zexious

Roux--Hurray 8D Another friend!
It happened... because I was being a stupid 21 year old ): I was sitting on my boyfriend's balcony of his third story apartment and just...slipped off. v.v
I'm glad to hear Griffin is ok. It's really scary when animals who are your friend and have been such a big part of your life get sick ):
How far are you into law school? (8

Shropshirerosie--I actually got him a neato one that has a door on the front of it, as well as on the top :O They must be new as I have never seen one like that before! It was easy to get him in, once I caught him!

frlsgirl--Good luck with your doggies! Isn't it funny how tenacious they are when there's something that they DON'T want to do xD


Mini Update. Thursday, February 27th, 2014.

Today was, thankfully, much less stressful than yesterday.

I had my Physical Therapy in the afternoon. Mostly, I just got a foot massage. xD

Mom and I went out to Red Robin afterwards. It's not my favorite, but mom really likes it, and the nearest one to her home back in Texas is over 100 miles away o.o She will be going home in the next few weeks, so that was something she wanted to do.

I get to see boyfriend tomorrow, and spend the weekend with him! One of his friend's is having their birthday over the weekend, and we'll of course be attending, so I wanted to go shopping to hopefully get something cute.
I ended up with an adorable crop sweater. It's houndstooth with fitted sleeves. D'awwww. <3

Really stoked to hang out with everyone, hopefully everything goes smoothly... We know how I am with alcohols...


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## gunslinger

Zexious said:


> Really stoked to hang out with everyone, hopefully everything goes smoothly... We know how I am with alcohols...


Yea, well, you don't have to be that way with alcohols.....not that you shouldn't drink, but maybe try to moderate it....by setting yourself a rule that limits your drinks to X per hour and a total of Y per night? Can you tell yourself no?

I'd hate to see you re-injurer yourself.....now that your recovery is going so well.....

Now...go, and have fun!


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## Roux

> Roux--Hurray 8D Another friend!
> It happened... because I was being a stupid 21 year old ): I was sitting on my boyfriend's balcony of his third story apartment and just...slipped off. V.v
> I'm glad to hear Griffin is ok. It's really scary when animals who are your friend and have been such a big part of your life get sick ):
> How far are you into law school? (8


Griffin will be on medications for the rest of his life but his quality of life should be good at least. I have two dogs: Griffin the 10yr old Border Collie and Atticus 2 yr old Shih Tzu. My husband got me Atticus when I started law school, thats why we gave him that name as in the lawyer from "To Kill a Mockingbird." We also have an Orange Tabby Cat, Salvador. With all these boys in the house (plus the geldings) I am missing some girl power once in a while 

I leave my cat carrier open and my cat just wanders in and out as he pleases so it isn't hard to get him in when he has to go to the vet. BUT when he is in the car he howls bloody murder. You would think he is dieing. 

Law school is 3 years (you probably know that) and I am in my last semester of my 2nd year. I am hoping to graduate early so hopefully will be done in December.

You are graduating soon right? My BA was in Literature what is your major? 

For what it's worth, I am just a few years older than you, and I don't drink at all and I never have. And honestly its the best decision I have made. I don't have a problem with it or those who do but I have seen what it can turn into and that picture can be pretty ugly. 

Horses are the best drug out there any way


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## Zexious

Gunslinger--Things went well-ish. xD More to come on that one! The good news is, I'm still in one piece. 

Roux--How is Griffin doing? ):
That's exciting that you're nearly finished! What are your plans for after? 
I am double majoring in English (with an emphasis on Creative Writing) and Psychology. 

[Not so] Mini Update <3 Thursday, March 6th, 2014.

I. Got. To. Ride! AHHHH
Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures... But anyway!
I was cleared on Monday to begin wearing a normal shoe. I was told that "as soon as I felt comfortable" it would be ok to ride and drive. Well, I was driving by Tuesday and had my first ride earlier today xD
All I can say is, Gator is a saint. I was very weak from so much time off--even getting on was hard x.x But he just stood there like a gentleman and let me scramble on. He rode like a dream--trotting was the hardest on my joints. ): Then, when it came time to get off (which I was most nervous about, since it's so high up!) he stood patiently while I leaned over him and carefully slid to the ground. Spending time with him has just been great. I love him so much <3
I'm going to take the next two days (at least ): ) off to give my heel/ankle a rest. But I am SO STOKED to be riding again!!!

I also had my PT today. Admittedly, it's getting a little tough. I have quite a bit of pain and soreness in my ankle/heel... It's probably from taking things too quickly ;D But I can't help it! xD The pain is totally worth it. I am making good progress, and will still continue for probably the next few months.

Now... on the boyfriend front. ): I said some mean things to him over the weekend... And he is reacting how he always does: by not speaking (texting/calling/replying) to me. I know I said some things that shouldn't have been said, but I apologized profusely, and made it obvious that I felt very bad. I'm almost worried he will break up with me... I don't know what to do ;-; /I'mAStupidLameGirl and...


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## gunslinger

Yea, PT can sure be painful but is should get better.

Glad you made it through the weekend....

So, you said some mean things to boy friend this weekend.....now he's mad and won't talk to you.....

Either he'll forgive you, or he won't....if he does....then your relationship grows. If he doesn't....well, find another boy friend.....

In the mean time, if you want him to keep talking to you then maybe be a little more tack full when you tell him to go to hell......or maybe try smiling when you say it.........maybe he needed to hear what you had to say....but you must have hurt his feelings though....

Wish I could help you with this, but I'm afraid this one's on you...

Keep your chin up though....lots more boyfriends where that one came from....


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## frlsgirl

I have to agree with gunslinger; ups and downs are part of every relationship so if he can't deal with that, he may not be worth keeping around. One time I called my DH the devil and in return he called me Hitler's Granddaughter. We laugh about it now. 

So glad you got to go ride. Be sure to take pics next time 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious

gunslinger--Admittedly, it was a combination of both. I absolutely agree that I need to be a little more tactful. You're also right that it is my fault.
By that same token, it was things he needed to hear. Like, how I felt he wasn't there for me, and that he puts his friends before me. This wasn't the time or place to discuss it, but alcohol has a funny way of doing that to me. ):

frlsgirl--I will certainly try my best to get pics! My mom is afraid of me riding, so she won't come out with me... Dx I may have to shanghai one of my friends to come out. If all goes as planned, I will probably ride tomorrow 8D
I really hope you're right, that this is just a brief 'down'. ): I really do love and care about him, I just... have a funny way of showing it sometimes, I guess.

Mini Update. <3 Saturday, March 8, 2014.

The Rocky Mountain Horse Expo is in town.  I got to attend that with some of my model horse friends, and that was enjoyable. This is definitely the furthest I have walked in months, so it left me feeling very sore, but also very accomplished. Like, maybe normal life really isn't all that far away?
It was great to be around so many horses and see all the neat booths. My mom bought me a cute little horseshoe that's wrapped up in barbed wire, is decorated with a bullet, and in sparklies says "Fearless". She said it's the perfect way to describe me, and I honestly felt a little honored. xD

When I started to get tired and we left, we stopped for lunch at Rock Bottom. My mom is leaving in a week, and it is starting to feel real. Though it'll be sad, and I don't know when I will see her again, I am ready for her to go. Because that means I get my life back.

My new roommate is here from Kentucky. We're good friends already, and I'm pretty stoked to have someone here to keep me company.

Overall, it was a good day. I had a fun time at the Expo, and there was good company all around. The only bad part, is I'm still waiting to hear from boyfriend... When confronted with something he can't handle, this is not unusual. He did the same thing (just not talk to me for a week or so) while I was in the hospital. I just don't know what to do ):


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## Roux

> Roux--How is Griffin doing? ):
> That's exciting that you're nearly finished! What are your plans for after?
> I am double majoring in English (with an emphasis on Creative Writing) and Psychology.


Griff is coming back to life the old *******! I am so glad to report back that things are looking up 

I was an English major too but I focused on Medieval Lit. 

Not sure what I am going to do after law school... graduate school? PhD? I would like to be a writer maybe, then again the smart thing to do would be to pass the bar and be a lawyer. 

___

I am glad you are feeling better! Hopefully you will be able to get a lot of riding in this summer when you are back in good form!


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## Zexious

Roux--That is very exciting! I'd like very much to become a writer :> But a lawyer is a pretty solid career choice xD I'm sure you'll do whatever is best for you :>

I am looking forward to getting more riding time everyday--it's lovely.

Mini Update. <3 Wednesday, March 27th 2014.

What a stressful day. (The caveat to this is that boyfriend and I are good again. Hurray.)

It started out pretty normal. Did some cleaning. Whatever.

I went out to ride but realized quickly that I was running out of time. And Gator had a boo-boo on his little leg. ): So doctored him up and let him toddle around for a bit, before putting him away and heading home. Hopefully I can get some legit time in tomorrow.


Now, the disclaimer to this little story is that my best friend (the one who used to live with me) and I had planned a "Wasted Wednesday". ...Where we essentially drink excessively until one of us falls asleep, and we call it good. We got some booze.
Well, she calls me around 2:30 as I am driving back to the barn explaining she got in a car accident. It's not a big deal, but she got rear ended. She's going to fill out paperwork, and will then be over. Cool, sounds good.
She gets here, we start casually drinking and catching up... Two beers in she says she's feeling dehydrated, so we get her some water. A few minutes later her stomach isn't feeling well, and she excuses herself to the bathroom. Ten minutes later... I feel like she's taking a real long time.
I toddle over to see her hunched over the toilet and shaking. I had no idea what to do, it was very scary. She said she couldn't see, that she was hurting all over. I called 911 and she was taken to the hospital. 
So I spent the past five or so hours there. xD She was discharged with no major issues... It's crazy. Time to do something quiet and relaxing...


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## 6gun Kid

I didn't even know this place was on here, everytime I see your Yu-Gi-Poke-E -Oh avatar I wanted to ask you how your noggin was, apparently all is well. Glad to hear it, hope you get better every day!


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## frlsgirl

Wow. What a crazy evening for you. I hope you got some sleep.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious

6--Teehee, thanks!
My avvie is actually from Final Fantasy VII  But close enough!

frlsgirl--I slept alright. I've actually been having this really creepy reoccuring dream where I wake up and imagine that there is someone next to me in the bed. o.o I either get really happy, thinking it's Boyfriend (followed by rapid disappointment when I realize it's not), or serious confusion or discomfort, as I can't figure out who it is.
Of course, there's no one really there. It's just weird that it has been happening fairly frequently o.o


Mini Update <3 Thursday, March 27th, 2014.

Thankfully, today was much less eventful than yesterday.

I spoke with my friend this morning. We still don't really know what happened, but she is doing well. Her car is still at my house; I don't know when she'll get the chance to pick it up.

I had my therapy today. This is definitely the most difficult (painful) therapy I've done since I was in the hospital. I'm even sore now, despite the fact that my therapy was hours ago. No pain no gain, I suppose!

I went out to the barn with the intention of riding, but wasn't feeling the greatest. I was tired (probably from yesterday) and was feeling a bit queasy. When I arrived at the barn, Gator was busy eating. I took the combined signs as a suggestion that today was not a day for riding, so I just loved on him a little and let him get back to his din. 

Boyfriend actually called me today. I love him more than anything, but I wish he could put more into communicating with me... so this was a good step.









((This is not Boyfriend, and that is not my bra. But sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with something very similar xD))


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## Roux

This reminded me of your cat story lol


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## Zexious

Roux--It's funny because it's true xD Same goes for Roommate and Boyfriend. xD They all feel the wrath of the kitties.
How are your little animales? :>


Mini Update. Thursday, April 3rd, 2014.

I'm currently watching Boone (Cat #2) attack Tittles (Cat #1). It makes me very sad. Stop it, Boone! D:









Legitimately the face he is making. I'm not even joking you.

Today was a slow news day. 
I had a couple of things I had ordered arrive (a manga and a video game), but I am holding off on starting either for a REALLY slow news day... Which I am expecting will arrive tomorrow. xD

As usual, I attended therapy. It has gotten pretty difficult lately. There is lots of pain. But my therapist is a very positive individual, and is very good about praising me and keeping my spirits high. I do work very hard, and I really appreciate how positive she is with me.
Also, it snowed fairly heavily last night, and was a bit dreary today. This weather is rough on the hardware in my foot... I'm definitely feeling it today o.x
Unfortunately, this means I haven't ridden in about the past week. Walking is very uncomfortable and, subsequently, I know I'm not in a condition to ride. I think I'm gonna give it another go on Sunday. <3

I was able to hit the gym for a little while. Though I was only able to do about 30 minutes on the stair climber, something is better than nothing. And working out is good for the soul  How is everyone else's workouts coming along??

I did pay Gator a visit today. Unsurprisingly, he was busy with his lunch. I paid his bill and gave him some cookies.
Honestly, I can't wait until I can work and pay my own bills again. I feel like a bit of a leech ):

And, finally, I cheated on my way home and picked up a Happy Meal. (McDonalds? Right after a workout? I'm a terrible person, I know >.>) 
But! McDonalds currently has My Little Pony Toys and I Must. Get. Them. All! I have three... Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, and now Fluttershy. If anyone wants to send any my way, I wouldn't complain ;D


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## Zexious

Update. <3 Wednesday, April 16th, 2014.

Been a while since an update. 

I... Uh, dyed my hair partially purple.









I've had a job in the service industry since fifteen and a half, and this is my first time since then not working. I thought I would take advantage of the opportunity to have a fun color, like I've always wanted. 
Admittedly, it's rather hard to see in the picture. Darn lighting.

In more serious news... My little brother, (*ahem* four legged brother) Tittles had to make another trip to the vet. He has kidney stones. ): Luckily enough, they are manageable. He is getting a change in his diet, and has to take nightly meds, but I'm just pleased that he's alright. 









He is literally one of my best friends. In the photo he is sleeping on my unmade bed... nothing out of the ordinary there. xD  I want to keep him as healthy and happy for as long as possible.












Today was my last day of Physical Therapy. I had an appointment with my surgeon's PA on Monday, and was told that this was the last necessary visit. It is bittersweet, and frankly makes me a little nervous. I still walk with a pretty prominent limp... PA seems to think it will sort itself out, but my therapist doesn't seem so sure. Mom is hesitant, and Boyfriend says it's "just a suggestion", and that more pt never hurt anyone. 
All that said, I feel strange not taking the doctor's advice. Surely he is the professional. So, for now, all of my remaining sessions are cancelled, and I will see how things go.
I am very grateful for everything that my therapist has done for me. I am a very lucky individual to have access to and resources for such fantastic care.












I still haven't been riding much. The pain has gone down a little, but I am still hesitant. Tomorrow I will go out, turn out Gator, and hopefully ride. I know it's not fair to him to just hang out and wait for me to get better, so I need to learn to suck it up. 
My hunk at his residence in Texas, during last summer. I know this is why everyone reads my thread, after all ;D (And I don't blame you! It's why I'd read it, too~)


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## Wallaby

I read it for your life too!! And I like how you write - you make terrible things sound really funny/hopeful/not depressing. Plus you're just funny in general. 

But more pictures of Gator never hurt anyone. :wink:


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## gunslinger

You're young so maybe the limp, and the pain will go away.

Part of the reason why I read the blogs I read is because I see myself, many years ago, in you. Not just you, but Wallaby, RoperChick, and Sky as well.....

Darn it, if I knew I'd live to be this old I would have done a few things differently. My guess is, like an old war injury, or like an old football injury, you won't realize how bad it hurts for another......30 years or so......see what you have to look forward too?

Hey, live your life with passion....but remember....maybe.....one day.....if you're lucky.....you'll be old too... SO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!!

Now, go ride Gator....and I'll promise you one thing......It'll feel better when it quits hurting......:shock:


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## Roux

Dude... our cats are twins! This is Salvador:


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## Zexious

Wallaby--I appreciate the comments about my writing; it's what I'm going to school for, and I hope to be a novelist, as mentioned elsewhere in this thread xD. 
I will certainly have to be better about taking pictures! I am pretty forgetful (Ie-my phone will be dead or at home, and I don't really have a camera I'm using these days), or there is no one there to take pictures of me riding. xD I'll just have to force Boyfriend out there, sometime. :>
On a more serious note... I just (partially) caught up on your thread. I haven't had the chance to post there yet, but wanted to say how genuinely sorry I am for your loss. Again, I know I'm behind the curve on this one, but Lacey was a truly amazing horse. She touched the lives of many. I am being honest when I say how much I enjoyed following her adventures with you, and how it breaks my heart to know that she's passed on. 
Stay strong, and if you ever need someone to chat with, I'm here. 

gunslinger--I so appreciate that you follow my thread. I feel you have so much wisdom to share, and I'm so honored to be able to receive it. 
The pain may be real obnoxious, but surely it will get better... More than that, it'll make for a great story 

Roux--I had a vet tell me once that orange cats are special :> I think it's absolutely true.
Salvador is very cute. How old is he? Where did you get him? Does he have a tuxedo? Or any white on him? Tittles is always very fashionable in that way 



Mini Update. Thursday, April 17th, 2014.

Started out with an early trip to the barn to visit and ride Gator. As luck would have it, all of the arenas were getting new footing today x.x So... looks like I'll try again tomorrow. 
I gave him some cookies and called it a day as far as that went.

Came home. Ate some foods. Watched a little Breaking Bad with the roomie.
I should have spent some time cleaning, as Roomie has friends visiting for the "Cannabis Cup" and 4/20. While I may border functioning alcoholic, I've never smoked even pot before xD But I can understand that other people like it, and have no problem with the company.

Unfortunately, I left for the majority of the day to hang out with some friends.
They're my... awkward friends. x.x I say that with as much love as possible. I just mean that they are slightly socially awkward, to the point that it can make me uncomfortable in public. I try my best to ignore it.
We grabbed some pizza, then went to the mall for a couple of hours. Overall, not a bad trip.

Came home to the two guests already here. That was a little awkward too. They didn't even tell me their names xD But whatever. I guess not everyone has the same social expectations that I do~











While Colorado is stoked about 4/20, the rest of the United States is stoked about Easter. Does anyone have any fun plans??


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## Roux

> Roux--I had a vet tell me once that orange cats are special :> I think it's absolutely true.
> Salvador is very cute. How old is he? Where did you get him? Does he have a tuxedo? Or any white on him? Tittles is always very fashionable in that way



Yes he has four white feet, tummy and chest. He is a really special cat... I have never met another quite like him. He runs to the door when some one knocks and meows haha! Thats just one of his quirks.

How are you feeling? Getting in the saddle at all? Finals week for you yet? This is my last week of classes then finals and term papers next few weeks. Good Luck!


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## Zexious

Roux--You are just the sweetest thing :> I so enjoy talking to you xD <3
I think that orange kitties are all very special. Surely they've got to be some sort of good luck, right?  You'll have to post more pictures of him! Where did you get him?

I'm feeling alright. I haven't ridden in the past week or two. Just too much pain, especially with mounting/dismounting. x,x I know I just need to get over it, but it's hard.
Good luck with all your exams! Are so super stoked for summer?!
Unfortunately I wasn't cleared to go back to school in the spring, so no finals for me.  I get to take summer classes, though. They start the week after next. 


Mini Update. Wednesday, April 30th, 2014.


Another pretty boring day. 

Tittles, as of the day before yesterday has been acting like he isn't feeling great. Just restless half the time, completely conked out the other half. I bought him some prescription food, so hopefully that perks him up. 

I did manage to make it out to the gym today. I didn't do anything too spectacular--mostly just walked on the treadmill, and tried to focus on fixing my gait. I know there's still some issues with it, and it makes me real sore o.x

Following the gym I DID manage to make it out to the barn! But, as fate would have it, I didn't bring my boots  So I just brushed him and loved on him. Based on the fact that I haven't ridden in a week or two, he needs to spend a good chunk of time getting his crazies out.
Also, I'm considering having him put in an outside turnout... There'd be more room--as much as /I/ love having him indoors, I don't think he's wild about it--and he would be able to see more friends. He's pretty herdy, so that's important to him. Plus, it's cheaper (only by $50, but hey... it's something), which makes me feel better while my parents are paying for him.


Just been feel'n... I dunno. Kinda down. x.x Here's a Barak Lee...


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## 6gun Kid

Glad you are progressing, keep working on your gait it will improve.


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## frlsgirl

Hang in there; it will get better. 

My horse does better outside too; she just loves visiting with other horses. If I put her in a stall, she thinks she's in prison!

Keep us updated on your progress and we are still waiting for pictures of you riding Gator!


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## Roux

> Roux--You are just the sweetest thing :> I so enjoy talking to you xD <3
> I think that orange kitties are all very special. Surely they've got to be some sort of good luck, right?  You'll have to post more pictures of him! Where did you get him?
> 
> I'm feeling alright. I haven't ridden in the past week or two. Just too much pain, especially with mounting/dismounting. x,x I know I just need to get over it, but it's hard.
> Good luck with all your exams! Are so super stoked for summer?!
> Unfortunately I wasn't cleared to go back to school in the spring, so no finals for me.  I get to take summer classes, though. They start the week after next.


Here is another one of him - he gets into everything, at this very moment he is chewing on my phone charger.









Four years ago when I had just moved in with my then BF (now husband) we noticed a few little baby kittens running around outside. And I said that I wanted one... So at like 2 in the morning (when we saw them again) DH went out put on welding gloves and I got a broom (to get them to run out from under stuff lol) and after an hour of running and stuff we finally caught two of them - it was a hilarious adventure. Salvador screamed and squirmed and howled like we were murdering him. They were just babies so it took maybe about 24 hours for them to become completely tame. Unfortunately, the other kitten got hit by car when she was a year old so now I just have Sal. 

I have hear that there is something special about yellow cats too! But I have to say I would really like to go to the shelter and pick out a nice Calico kitten - but DH has put a moratorium on new animals for the time being. 

A few years ago I started getting horrible pain in my left foot. I eventually went to a podiatrist to get it looked at and when he saw the x-ray he said it looked like I had broken my foot or it was crushed and it didn't heal right (wonder which horse cause that  ). So I ended up having surgery a few weeks later. I haven't had the pain in that foot again but it took a few months to feel 100% better after the surgery. I would say at least 7-8 months where it didn't hurt to run and I was told I healed incredibly fast so I would imagine you are going to be the same. I have two screws holding the bones in place. My advise is to really focus on stretching and keeping your flexibility in the ligaments and tendons. I would stretch my foot as much as was tolerable and my doc said that probably made a world of difference. Also really watch your toenails if your foot is prone to swelling up because when your toes are swollen a lot then you can easily get an ingrown toe nail and those suckers hurt and take forever to get better- that's what happened to my big toe. 

I finished my last classes on Wed. I stayed up until midnight to finish a paper yesterday (fingers crossed it was ok) and I have two 20 page papers due the 15th. So I am actually in pretty good shape and don't have any sit down finals, YAY! 

I would like to say I am looking forward to summer but I am taking 9 credits this summer, including clinic- which has a reputations for being terrible, and I start the 21st. So I won't be getting much of a break. But that's ok hopefully I can get a lot of riding in this summer!!

What classes are you taking? When I was an undergrad summer classes were always my favorite. They are always easy, fast and the profs are usually better. 

I hope the medicated food for Tittles works well. I switched my old dog to a very expensive super high quality food and I have seen miracles with that. I haven't tried the cat version (but I might switch). Here is the website, you might want to check it out. Its freeze dried and then you mix it up with water.
Cat Menu - Products | Grandma Lucy's

My horse likes to be outside too. I was able to moved them on pasture last week. I just feel like it is so much healthier for them. And we get a break on board price too. From May - Oct.


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## LemonZeus

Looks like you've got yourself another follower  Everyone's cats are so cute!


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## 6gun Kid

How is the noggin?


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## Roux

You didn't fall out a window again did you?


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## Zexious

6--It's getting better, slowly but surely! <3

frlsgirl--Still trying to work out the logistics of getting Gator outside x.x My life has been a little topsy turvy this past week... More to come on that...

Roux--I can't get over how cute he is!! <3 That's such a funny story about how you got him. I'm currently in the process of trying to convince boyfriend to get us a kitten... Because so cute. <3
I just finished up my first class--it was "Japanese Pop Culture", more on that below too. My next class starts today, it's a Comic Book class xD

Lemon--Welcome! <3

Mini Update. Monday, June 2nd, 2014.

I don't even know where to start.

Well... for starters, I turned 22. yay....

Haven't been spending much time with Gator, for the reasons I will articulate below....

Like I said above, I started school. My first class was five days a week, three hours a day, for five weeks. The last day was Friday. I got an A, and it was a nice boost to my ego.  My professor went so far as to say that I should quit school now and just get a literary agent, as my work was so good xD yay!

Buttttt then things started to go downhill.

I went to the Springs last weekend to hang out with Boyfriend; we went to his friend's birthday party on Monday. 
As a bit of background, his friends and I don't have much common ground, and I usually feel pretty awkward around them. If I have a few drinks, things tend to get better. And that's exactly how this went. I moped around for the first hour or so, contemplated leaving, but then things started to get better.
Well...fast forward a few hours, and I'm chatting with this guy--if you can even call it that. He's essentially telling me how wasted he is, while I'm pretty much sober. He then takes a drink... and spits it ALL OVER my face ):!! I just stood there... I was so humiliated. 
The people around me jumped to my defense, but the damage had already been done. I just peaced out. That's so gross...

The next day (so, Tuesday) I decided to hang out with Boyfriend for one more day rather than going back home. As also mentioned above, Boyfriend and I have been considering getting a kitten together, so we went perusing the local shops that had kittens for adoption. We checked at the mall--they didn't have any adoptable kittens, only sickly looking ones for sale ):--and as I'm walking back out to my car... I see my left front bumper completely obliterated.
Someone in a HUGE truck hit it as they were pulling through the spot. I was parked in the middle of nowhere (ALL the spots around me were empty), which makes it even more infuriating. The bumper is destroyed, the grill is pushed out of place, there's glass everywhere... The wheel well is pushed up against the tire so I can't drive, and I don't even know what the internal damage looks like...
So, I am two hours from home, with school the following day, and a car that I can't drive. Ugh.
So I had to get my car towed back home and get a rental car. ):

So... I got that all situated, and let the week progress. My class finished, and I got something like a 98%, which made me very happy. I had a fun time downtown with some friends that evening.
I looked forward to a Saturday of no homework, no obligations. I was planning to just clean and hang out and relax.
...And then my roommate makes a comment that he hasn't seen Boon (my Maine ****) in a while. This is strange because he always likes to hang out with us downstairs. We proceed to look for him. He's gone.
We spent six hours searching for him; up and down the streets, calling his name, posting ads on craigslist and petfinder, searching the paths and fields behind my hours, calling and visiting Animal Control and every shelter in the area....
I always had this notion that people who "lost" their pets were bad pet owners, and now that person was me. ): I was devastated. He is a beautiful, friendly cat...so I was really worried that someone would pick him up with no intentions of giving him back v.v Both of my cats are strictly indoor so neither of them are microchipped or wear a collar.
Night fell, and we put our search on hold. Roomies were having a small get together on the patio, but I wasn't feeling it... so I just hung out inside and skyped a friend.
Then... this little sound... kitty crying at the back door. One of the roommates opens the slider, and in darts Boon!  I'm so glad to have him home ;-; He is getting shaved and microchipped TOMORROW xD

Fast forward to last night: Roomie and I are hanging out on the couch. He tries to open a browser on his phone, and gets some weird warning message. Apparently, he had been downloading too many movies, and nearly got our internet taken away Dx This is a huge issue for me especially, since it's such an important part of school. 
Thankfully, we clicked some thing that said we wouldn't do it again... and our internets are clearly back. xD

And now... for the worst news of all.
This news is highly personal. So personal that I shouldn't even post it online. But I'll just say... that it's catastrophic. 
My father called me on the phone last night and said there was something my mom needed to tell me (they have been divorced for years). I told him that it was late, I was having a bad week, and that he should just tell me. But he refused. I went back and forth with him about this, ultimately called my mom, didn't get any information, and called him back.
Then... he told me. It's probably the worst news ever. It has to do with biological issues and paternalness... I'm sure you can all guess.

I'm shocked and bitter and devastated. And I don't know what to do. )':

My new class starts today... and i'm going to visit my Gator on the way home. I am just waiting for things to get better...


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## Wallaby

hug: :hug: :hug: X million billion trillion)+


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## Zexious

Wallaby--Thank you! You are just the sweetest thing 

Update. Sunday, June 29th, 2014.

Been a while since an update. My life is still crazy. I'm hoping to get back to posting on a regular basis. Y'all are great therapy  And it really means a lot to know that people care.

My class has been going well. The stimulation is great, and the professor is fantastic. I'm honestly sad I only have four days left xD

Boyfriend stayed with me for the past three weeks. He left on Tuesday. It was great having him here during this tough time. But now that he's gone... I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping ): I miss him.

But! Since this is a regular update... My day was... boring xD

Roomie #2 (Should I call him Stoner? I think I will xD) invited me to go with him and his lady (THAT'S a long story! xD) to the pool. It's been really hot, and I've been kind of down and out, so I was really looking forward to this. But he is flaky as hell and, unsurprisingly, cancelled on me this morning ): Bummer. 

So I just hung out inside all day. And did homework. Lame.

Here's a picture of Gator and his boyfriend ( ;D ) for you all, in exchange for a super lame-boring post. I really appreciate each and every one of you that read and respond. It means a lot to me that my little corner of the Universe can make someone smile


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## gunslinger

Hi girlfriend.....when have you ridden Gator last?

I guess it's good that you miss your boy friend....as absence is supposed to make the heart grow fonder......?

Glad you're getting back into your routine.....and good to see you update this post.....

I'm thinking...if you're bored....maybe Gators bored too? A wet saddle blanket might help both of you.....


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## frlsgirl

Just catching up with your journal. Wow that is devastating. But sometimes blood is not thicker than water. Some of the best people in my life are not related to me.

Go hug Gator - horses make everything better


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## Zexious

gunslinger--It's been a couple of weeks since I have ridden Gator. Last time he spooked really hard--Thankfully I've got a good seat! xDMy foot has been hurting terribly, so I have been putting off getting on again... I'm really crossing my fingers that tomorrow will be a good day and I can finally get on!
It does make the heart grow fonder. It's just strange to me that I like him so much, and want him around. xD He's going through some stuff too, though, so I suppose I just have to be patient and wait.
Again, fingers crossed for tomorrow!

frlsgirl--I really appreciate your words. It's been hard for me, as I don't really know what to do. I don't know whether I should just let it go and pretend it never happened, or try to talk it out with him. Ultimately, we both end up getting frustrated and angry, and that's not what I want at all.
I think I will probably have to end up seeing a counselor... Even though that's hard for me to admit.
I took your advice and went and snuggled my "reptile" xD 

Mini Update. Monday, June 30th, 2014.

Wow. The end of the month. Can you believe it? This year is flying... It's almost a little scary.

As I mentioned in my last post, I am coming to the end of my course. I took the bus to school today... Though its better on my pocket book ($5 a day to park can really add up!), it means more walking; more stress on my little foot. Ouch ):
I turned in my little papers... I'm really proud of the way that I have been keeping up with my school work since the accident. At least that's a step in the positive direction.

I went to visit Gator. I turned him out, though he didn't seem particularly interested in running around like a crazy person. He did, however, seem to enjoy the company of the rabbits that are frequenting the barn.
There was one in particular he was BLONDE. No joke. xD I had never seen a wild rabbit that looked like that before... And he was just a little baby <3
Tomorrow, I am going to try very hard to ride. We'll see..

The rest of my day was... boring. I went to the gym. I did some grocery shopping. Being an adult sucks. xD
Still feeling a bit down, and a bit lonely... I could definitely use a hug ):


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## Wallaby




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## Zexious

Wallaby-- xD I love this. I wish I could lay in that sea of puppies ;-; <3

Mini Update. Tuesday, July 1st, 2014.

Woke up feeling drained ;-; I had forgotten to shower last night, so I was a bit rushed. But it had to happen because I was having a TERRIBLE hair day xD Why can't I wake up every morning looking like this? [Read-Beautiful~]










Still working on the Watchmen in class. It's like a frock's phone book, if no one has ever read it. I'm pretty tempted to watch the movie. Has anyone seen it? Thoughts?

Bus took forever today, but it made for some good people watching.
Speaking of watching... Any FIFA fans on this site? GO GERMANY!!! 

I went to go visit Gator today, with every intention of riding him and, wouldn't you believe it, all of my riding attire (well, not all, but my gloves and my helmet) are in my car, which is still in the shop Dx I was so mad. 
But I still groomed him and turned him out. He seems so spooky lately... I dunno what that's about ):

Hit the gym. Came home. Ate a sandwich. Such is life xD

EDIT--To add... 
4th of July. Yikes. It's just a couple days away. Do you all have any fun plansies?
I'd really like to do something with boyfriend... I guess I'll have to wait and see how that pans out xD


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## Roux

Heeeyyyy!!!! Sorry for not staying caught up! 

I hope you are feeling better - what a rough couple of months... maybe that is what our early 20s are for? From 19- 23ish every few months I kept getting S#!& on... or that's what it felt like. I'm not much older than you but it does get better and things do mellow out. 

But... I will need to see more pics of Gator... its mandatory!!! Hope you can ride soon and your foot starts to feel stronger. <3


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## Zexious

Roux--It certainly has ): One of the roughest parts is simply that I feel like no one has gone through the same stuff... Everyone has boy problems; everyone feels a little down sometimes; but it seems like the things that are happening are so drastically bad ;-; I guess I just have to wait for them to get better 









^How I try to make things better.


Mini Update. Sunday, July 6th, 2014.

Woke up next to my favorite person.  At least I have that aspect to be grateful for. Albeit, morning was slow and nothing to brag about. I drove back home (can't wait for him to live closer!) for my...first real day back to work since my accident :O In a word, it was painful. But... at least it's a step in the right direction.

But now I'm exhausted, and trying to get ready for class tomorrow. I hope everyone had a great weekend, and a fantastic 4th of July!


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## SueC

Roux said:


> ....what a rough couple of months... maybe that is what our early 20s are for? From 19- 23ish every few months I kept getting S#!& on... or that's what it felt like. I'm not much older than you but it does get better and things do mellow out. <3


The excrement still occurs later in life, it's just we've had more fire drill by then and we know we're going to get through it... :lol: So yeah, things do get better. You'll statistically be much happier in a decade!  Despite more wrinkles! :rofl: And you can always dye your hair! ;-) (And your husband's. :rofl


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## SueC

Zexious said:


> Wallaby-- xD I love this. I wish I could lay in that sea of puppies ;-; <3
> 
> Mini Update. Tuesday, July 1st, 2014.
> 
> Woke up feeling drained ;-; I had forgotten to shower last night, so I was a bit rushed. But it had to happen because I was having a TERRIBLE hair day xD Why can't I wake up every morning looking like this? [Read-Beautiful~


You may wish to purchase a Van de Graaff Generator:














> Speaking of watching... Any FIFA fans on this site? GO GERMANY!!!


My parents. They're German and German/Italian Australians. They stayed up all night watching the soccer and were delighted. "7:1!" my mother trilled down the phone. And then my 75yo father trained his horses and mucked out as usual. I think they have another interrupted night coming up on Monday, as the final starts at 3am local time.


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## Zexious

Sue-- xD I have trouble looking to the end of the week, much less a decade from now! It seems I'm being pulled in so many directions, I can't even imagine where I will be in ten years. Hopefully happily married to Boyfriend and highly educated xD That's the plan, anyway.

That's great to hear that your parents are all about the WC!! Tell them your internet friend is stoked about the inevitable win that'll happen on Sunday ;D I will, of course, wear my unwashed Germany shirt and everything. It's good luck!

Mini Update. Friday, July 11th, 2014.

Boring day. 

School is... boring. I am taking Psychopathology, which happens to be one of the classes I took fall semester--the fall semester that I had to withdraw from because of my accident. So I know all of the material, and just get to sit through class for almost three hours every morning. Great. 

Getting a little fed up with my roommates; they make huge messes and never seem to help me clean up. They're also always late: it's my/my parent's house, otherwise I wouldn't care. So I'm dealing with that...
Went to the doctor. Yay, birth control >.> Is this a good time to bring up the HL discussion, or...? xD

Boyfriend was supposed to visit today... I'm real bummed that he didn't. xD

Lame post. I dunno what to tell 'ya ;-;


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## Roux

SueC said:


> The excrement still occurs later in life, it's just we've had more fire drill by then and we know we're going to get through it... :lol:


So basically we just get used to the smell? :lol:


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## SueC

Roux said:


> So basically we just get used to the smell? :lol:


No, it's more like our noses filter it out as less important and zoom in on more pleasant smells. When that is not possible, we understand that the bad smell will fade away and trust in the nice smells to come, and don't let the bad smell occupy very much of our attention. Whereas when I was in my early 20s, I always used to get so stressed out by the bad smells, and think I was going to stink to death. ;-)

I'll give an example. My first relationship started in my last year of high school and went through to the end of university, and just a year into working life. It was actually a really ordinary relationship, and at times and towards the end a really bad relationship, but somehow I didn't know that, and when the relationship ended, I thought I was going to _die_. It was physically like I imagine trying to come off heroin would be - which kind of makes sense on one level, since we can get addicted to the biochemicals produced in relationship bonding, and I think this is especially the case in insecure relationships where you're always a little nervous and out of your depth. But once that physical withdrawal wore off, and I started to think objectively, I was starting to wonder what on earth I'd ever seen in the guy, or the relationship, or why I'd put up with some unacceptable things.

And breaking up with someone never felt that bad again, and I eventually learnt how to pick a decent and ethical person.

There's a lot of things we do when we are young which are often the result of really bad social and cultural programming / family baggage / etc, and these aren't necessarily happening at the conscious level.

You learn as you go, and the early train wrecks are quite a hard way to get educated. I'd hate to go through all that again. Everybody I know who's over 30 says that. We live in a youth culture that implies life is over at 30, and that's such bull, all that angst I had as a young person about nearing 30 was so totally unnecessary. Happiness actually increases, at least that's our experience, and our friends'. And, I still ride bareback. ;-)

The person I'm married to is also my best friend. I actually think that's really important. It's just tricky to ensure that this is a possibility when hormones (and baggage) are clouding your view and giving you rose-tinted spectacles. So you find ways to bypass that stuff. My husband and I wrote long emails to each other and spent lots of time on the phone in the early months of our relationship, and that was a really good way to get to know each other without getting biochemically hoodwinked. ;-)

I'm saying this stuff because I hated my angsty 20s and because I want anyone who's angsty and in their 20s now to know that it really, really gets better.  Of course, not everyone in their 20s is angsty and mixed up, and some are more that others. I didn't even _know_ I was angsty and mixed up!

And now I'm going to stop being so serious, and go make some pizza! ;-)


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## Zexious

Roux-- xD!

Sue--Pizza is ALWAYS a good idea ;D
In all seriousness, though, I totally see what you're saying. I'm a little adverse to growing up (I have been since I was 10 xD) but there are definitely some perks to it. You know, like heightened reasoning xD


Mini Update. Tuesday, July 15th, 2014.

Again... Don't even know where to start.

Today was lame. I woke up stupidly early to go to school. Great.

In good news, I was finally able to return my rental car and pick up /my/ car from the shop. The total for the rental was $1,600 and the stuff done to my car totaled almost $4,000. I'm glad this guy had insurance xD
The bad news is that my car has a small chip on the hood... It has a really expensive paint job, so I'm pretty ****ed about it. 

Soooo... I had my Doctor's appointment yesterday. It didn't go well. Something is wrong with the hardware, but the PA really didn't tell me much. He just said that I need a CT Scan done this week, and I will see my surgeon immediately after. To me, this sounds like very bad news, especially since he ordered it for so soon. But, to be fair, this is really scary, because I don't know what it means. It could mean anything from my doctor fingering (that sounds awkward) the hardware back into place, to a pretty invasive surgery. This could mean no time off, or months without driving or walking again. 
For now, I am (once again) not allowed to work or ride. 

This is... real sucky ): What doesn't kill you makes you stronger(?)


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## frlsgirl

:hug:Sending you hugs from Oklahoma.


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## Wallaby

That meme!! OH MY GOSH. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: It's a thinker AND a funny.

In other news, I'm sorry your hardware is acting up. That's no fun. I hope it's a easy quick [fingering, hahaha] fix!!!


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## Zexious

frlsgirl and Wallaby--I really appreciate the sentiment :> It means so much to me that y'all read, and are so supportive of me during this difficult time.










Mini Update. Wednesday, July 16th, 2014.

Woke up feeling like absolute crap. I think it's because of my recently high levels of stress or what the deal is. But I dragged myself to class none the less.

Made my appointment to get my CT done on Friday. This makes me even more nervous. I just don't know what to do ):


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## Cherrij

hugs from Latvia  

I am sure they will fix you right up and you will good as new soon enough! 

I am sorry, I must have missed it - what classes you have during summer?


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## SueC

Laughter is good to counter nervousness. Funny movies, or invite the weirdest people you know to lunch. I hear there are even laughing groups starting up that sound like great fun. Also exercise. If your injuries allow it, hopping through your lounge room like a kangaroo can give you both. Or you and a friend hopping like kangaroos and playing (hopping) chasey around the furniture. Highly recommended. ;-)


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## Roux

Hope your doing OK - don't forget to see Gator that will help too!!!


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## gunslinger

Sorry girl friend.....

Maybe the CT scan will show positive results.....I hope....

Thinking about you......hang in there....


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## Zexious

Cherrij--I took Japanese Popular Culture, Genre Studies of Comic Books, and Psychopathology. It has been an interesting summer, for sure!  And I do really appreciate the sentiments <3

Sue--That's so funny! I wish I could hop around like a kangaroo. When I was little, my friend and I would set up "jumping courses" in my living room with the furniture, and gallop around pretending to be horses. It was so lame... but soooo fun xD Unfortunately, jumping is a bit out of the question right now Dx So, I'll have to settle for videos of kangaroos, instead. 

Roux--He really is the best medicine <3

gunslinger--I always get happy when I see that you have posted! (That's true of everyone though, I suppose xD) News on the CT to come...

Mini Update. Tuesday, July 29th, 2014.

Ugh. Where to start.

Well, got school and such. That's just... going.

As I posted earlier, I had a CT done, and a visit with my surgeon. The news is equally as good as it is bad.

The good news (because the good should always come first :>) is that I don't need surgery! Though the pain is pretty extreme, my surgeon wants to avoid it at all costs, because it will be highly invasive. While the last surgery was a matter of removing bone fragments and putting in the hardware, this would be a matter of taking out the old hardware, temporarily removing my achilles tendon, fusing the joint, and putting in new hardware. o,O Yeah, not something I want to go through, so that's great news. 

Now, the bad news... In order to avoid surgery, he's essentially hit me with every possible option. I had joint injections (which will probably need to continue in the future on a bi-monthly basis), I had orthotics put in my skateboarding shoes, I have gotten an ointment to help with the pain/swelling (this is 3-4 times a day), and I am going tomorrow to get a bone stimulator and learn how to use it--that'll be 2 times a day.
But that's not the worst. Absolutely NO riding and NO work.  WHAT 
I know that I haven't been riding in the past month or so because of the pain, but this is still awful to hear. I don't know what to do. Should I call it good and give Gator an early retirement (that seems too final), should I lease him out (I had such a bad experience last time, that doesn't sound like a good option either), should I just wait it out (that doesn't seem fair to Gator). I absolutely will not sell him... That's probably selfish of me on many levels, but he is one of the few things getting me through all this. 
And... work. Ugh, what? I know that I will be finishing school soon, and likely moving to another state to go to grad school, but that is still jarring and upsetting. I have worked in restaurants since I was 15 (my parents are wealthy, but always pushed me working for my own money and my own things). I don't know how to do anything else o,o So... for now, I'm waiting on more information on both of those things.

I also need an MRI done, and will have yet another chat with my surgeon, so I'm not out of the woods yet... *sigh*

I so appreciate all of you reading this thread/blog/thing. You have all been so encouraging and so positive. Thank you <3 I just need to remember, things could always be worse...


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## gunslinger

For me, regarding Miss Lacy, I'd wait it out. Gator won't mind waiting for you.....even if you can't ride him....I probably wouldn't lease him but do you have a friend that would ride him every once in a while?

I'm trying to remember when the fall off the deck happened....it's been several months now hasn't it? 

No riding for awhile, no work, maybe now's a good time to finish up with school? Or, rather, focus on school.

When's the MRI?


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## SueC

Hey, I'm sorry you're so banged up you can't ride, and I hope you get well soon. My 70yo mother-in-law just spent 3 months in a corset because she fractured several vertebrae... she has osteoporosis, and then she accidentally fell down a retaining wall in the dark thinking it was just a step. She was really miserable for over a month and then slightly less miserable, but just turning the corner now. Because she was confined to the house and not able to move very much, she did a lot of reading, studying, watching good drama and having friends over. She tried to think of fun things to do indoors when you can't move...



Zexious said:


> Sue--That's so funny! I wish I could hop around like a kangaroo. When I was little, my friend and I would set up "jumping courses" in my living room with the furniture, and gallop around pretending to be horses. It was so lame... but soooo fun xD


Tell me, does every horse-mad girl do that? We did that too, in my distant childhood! ;-) And we made obstacle courses out of umbrellas and footstools etc for the dog to "showjump" for treats!


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## SueC

Hey, I'm sorry you're so banged up you can't ride, and I hope you get well soon. My 70yo mother-in-law just spent 3 months in a corset because she fractured several vertebrae... she has osteoporosis, and then she accidentally fell down a retaining wall in the dark thinking it was just a step. She was really miserable for over a month and then slightly less miserable, but just turning the corner now. Because she was confined to the house and not able to move very much, she did a lot of reading, studying, watching good drama and having friends over. She tried to think of fun things to do indoors when you can't move...



Zexious said:


> Sue--That's so funny! I wish I could hop around like a kangaroo. When I was little, my friend and I would set up "jumping courses" in my living room with the furniture, and gallop around pretending to be horses. It was so lame... but soooo fun xD


Tell me, does every horse-mad girl do that? We did that too, in my distant childhood! ;-) And we made obstacle courses out of umbrellas and footstools etc for the dog to "showjump" for treats!


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## frlsgirl

So if you can't ride him can you do ground work with him, like lunging him for example? I personally would jump at the chance to ride a been-there-done-that horse like gator...there has got to be a way for you to connect with someone who can ride him for you. Ask local riding instructors if they know of someone who would be a good exercise rider for him.


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## Zexious

gunslinger--I don't really have any friends that either a) ride to a level I am comfortable trusting them with Gator b) live close or c) don't have horses of their own that they're not busy with xD
When I couldn't ride before, BO had some boarders ride him--two ladies that were really solid English riders. I may speak to her about a similar arrangement.
It has been a while--November, actually! Ugh, what a crazy almost-year this has been.
That's a good idea... I just feel so bad, taking my parents munnies. I know they can afford it, but I feel bad when I don't work for my own things. Especially since it was always understood that I would pay for my horse and his expenses myself.
I'm still waiting for clearance from the insurance company to know about the MRI--it'll probably be in the next couple of weeks. Ugh, I'm nervous.

Sue--That's alright.  At least I will be able to ride in the future. I just have to keep reminding myself that things could always be much worse.
And I do the same! I try to keep myself busy--swimming instead of regular cardio; indoor activities like gaming, reading, crafts, writing, etcetera; lots of bothering of Boyfriend xD
Haha! Man, that is bringing back memories xD My elementary school, which was in walking distance from my house, had these little balance beams that were maybe 1 1/2 feet off the ground--I'd always take my dog "show jumping" xD!

frlsgirl--I can still kind of do that!  Uneven surfaces are really difficult for me right now, so an arena/roundpen is difficult for me to stand in/move around in. I still visit him often and just love on him/groom him (Gator looks manly with braids, let me tell you what!)/turn him out. I know it's not much, but at least it's something. I was actually out yesterday to play with him <3
I may consider doing that. Where I board doesn't have a lesson program (a decision I made after I fell, and lessons were out of the question for a while xD), but there are plenty of barns in the area that do offer such services. 


Mini Update. Saturday, August 2nd, 2014.

A fun, but tiring day 

We've had some rainy weather, and it finally decided to get sunny the past couple of days. In an effort to take advantage of the lovely weather (can you believe we only have a month left of summer...? o,O), Boyfriend and I met some friends at the Renaissance Festival. My friend who organized our meeting lost his daughter a year ago, and he wanted to take steps to remember her in a positive way, rather than moping around. I'm glad that Boyfriend and I could be there to support him. We got to see some jousting, some neat swords/weaponry, and some fun shows (big cats, belly dancing, and a man with this crazy...instrument. It looked like a giant piano with bells!). We drank (in moderation!), and visited the shops, and the little petting zoo.
Their little "pony rides" were comprised of all sorts of animals--tiny little oxen, ponies, donkeys, and.... (you won't believe this) I kid you not... a Zonkey!! I wish I had taken photos of all of this Dx

Though I am now very sore, it was a good day, and a good distraction. I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend <3 I leave you... with a true Jen sentiment:


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## SueC

Those historical festivals are such fun! And the costumes...man, don't tell me our era is elegant! The era of casual wear, suits&ties and sameness...


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## Zexious

Sue--We definitely haven't made many strides in awesomeness. At least, like you pointed out, things are more comfortable to wear xD 
I did (halfway) dress up. I have a really awesome "dandy" corset that I wore, along with tights and knee high boots. Boyfriend didn't dress up--I told him he has to next year! That's half the reason you go!


Mini Update. Wednesday, August 6th, 2014.

Living the dream. The "semester" is almost over, with just one week left of the four week long class. I have an exam on Friday--I'm pretty nervous :/ I know that I'll pass the course, it's more of a matter of to what degree I pass xD

In much more difficult/sad news... My mom (who has been paying for all of my bills since the accident) wants me to sell Gator. She says that he is a large expense and a drain on her resources as well as on my energy, and not worth it if I am unable to ride. From an objective standpoint, I can't blame her and I understand. From a subjective standpoint, I am going to fight this tooth and nail. Sometimes I feel like Gator is the only thing that keeps me sane, even if I don't ride him.

It's a vicious cycle... My mom wants to keep me in a healthy state of mind (particularly when so much has gone wrong lately), but might take away the thing that secures that most of all.... 
I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens...


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## SueC

Hmmm... this sounds like a reason to go look for someone who may want to lease / share the horse with you (riding, care, expenses), rather than selling him altogether... only problem is, you'd need to have someone who thinks alike on horse care and training, and is personable, or it becomes a minefield... of course, as the owner leasing out, you can include conditions at which you will break the lease, which gives you an out... or maybe can he be used as a lesson horse in return for care and barn fees? When things get better then they can go back to you being sole owner/rider/expense payer...


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## Zexious

Sue--I definitely wouldn't do any sort of share, but may consider a lease. The issue with this is that I tried this back when my injury was fresh, and the people I got were ridiculous. For example, a man wanted to lease him for his five year old daughter. Bear in mind, neither the daughter nor the parents had ANY horse experience (though they told me otherwise in the e-mails exchanged). I was like... um, no. xD I may try again, and will hopefully have better luck this time.
I would really like to let him be used as a school horse (this was sort of the arrangement I had while he was boarded in Texas... though I definitely got the short end of the stick). Unfortunately, there is not a lesson program where I board now, and moving him isn't really an option with all the VS quarantines ):
I will figure something out, I hopes...


Mini Update. Thursday, August 7th, 2014.

I'll start with the good...

-Got to wake up next to my favorite person (Boyfriend <3)
-Last day of Lab! Tomorrow is the final, then I get a little break! Whoo hop!
-Went to lunch with a good friend that I haven't seen in months. It was great catching up with him, and it's great to see him doing so well. And I have leftovers that I can eat tomorrow! <3
-Got to see and love on Gator. It's the little things, even though I can't ride <3


Now... for the not so good.

When I went to pay for lunch, my CARD WAS DECLINED 










Turns out one of my roomy's rent checks bounced. I'm a little cranky about it. Like, seriously? You are all too old to be writing bad checks! Dx And now I'm the one that has to deal with it... bomb... >.>


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## frlsgirl

Ohhh bummer. Hope things turn around for you soon


----------



## Roux

Here is a laugh for you!


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## Zexious

frlsgirl--Thank you :< I appreciate your sentiments Dx

Roux-- xD! I saw that the other day, it's hilarious! I don't know which one is my favorite xD

Mini Update. Saturday, August 16th, 2014.

Just settling in back home... I just got back from the land of wonderment where everyone looks like some variation of this -->










IE--Vegas.

Now I'm tired... waiting for Boyfriend to come home... Gotta get Gator's feetsies done... Back to the old grind. Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. <3


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## frlsgirl

What's new in Gatorville?


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## SueC

Roux said:


> Here is a laugh for you!


This reminds me of something equally outrageous:


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## SueC

_Of course, now I have to redeem myself. Please note I had to write this out of an actual book because it has apparently not made it to the Internet yet, incredibly...
_
*How To Select A Husband*
by Robbie Poor

When selecting a husband, you should consider several important points. First, keep in mind that you must take the same care in selecting a husband that you would in selecting an automobile. Certainly you will want the one that will give you the best mileage. A large man, like a large car, will be more expensive to keep up, and the amount of fuel the larger model burns will make a difference to your budget. On the other hand, a large model wears well and is more comfortable than a smaller model - and it is certainly the best for long hauls. You must remember, however, that when the larger model ages, there is more to show: the interior is shot, the cushions sag and bulge, and the top is often shiny.

If you are petite, it is all right to look at the smaller models. If you are not petite, get a good view of the two of you together before you make a final decision: you may look like an Amazon steering a toy around. The myth that you can park any easier with a small one than a large one is just that - a myth.

The next, and perhaps most crucial, point to consider when selecting a husband is temperament and personality. Here again, as with a car, looks may be deceiving and hide what is underneath. It little matters what the model looks like, for it is how it behaves that counts. If it is a slow starter or if it snarls and growls when the going gets rough, then you need to keep shopping. Assuredly, the model should be dependable and reliable, for there are rough streets as well as paved roads to drive. Sometimes even an older model is the best buy, if picked with caution. But always be wary of a model with retreads: they tend to break down as the speed is increased. And look closely for paint used to cover up damaged areas. These give way under stress.

Another thing to look for as you make your selection is a model that is easy to handle, one that responds well to your lightest touch. You certainly do not want to spend your time with one that wears you out as you steer it. Select one that you can manoeuvre with ease.

Take extreme caution when breaking in your model. Use a light touch. Take it in for frequent tune-ups. Above all, use the right fuel.


_(PS: I can't *believe* it automatically hyperlinks the word Amazon. What's the world coming to!)_


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## Zexious

frlsgirl--Same crap, different day~ ;-; I'm so glad Ana is doing well!
Unfortunately Gator is stuck mostly inside. There has been 200+ cases (and subsequently almost as many quarantines) in Colorado from an outbreak of VS. I can't even get the farrier to come back until the results have come back on a possible case at the barn. Because it is particularly hard on the old guys, it's pretty scary.
Luckily he's (like I said) inside, where there are automatic sprayers and hardly any flies. Just waiting for the first hard freeze...

Sue--That is hilarious xD
If Boyfriend were a car, he'd be something stylish and sexy... like a Ferrari :>










Though he certainly would be a gas guzzler xD


Mini Update. Wednesday, August 27th, 2014.

Not a whole lot to report. 

I had school today--well, just a lab. The fall semester has started. Yay. xD

Had some... erm... "pleasant" exchanges in Horse Chat. Most people I meet through there are lovely. But I guess you're bound to meet someone who's not so bomb. 

I didn't get the chance to see Gator, after my nap. He's pretty much stuck inside or under close, fly-controled supervision until this VS scare passes... It's so frustrating (and illegal!) the way people are downplaying potential cases, or traveling when they shouldn't be. The state fair starts soon... there were talks to cancel the horse portion of it because of this outbreak. Of course, that's not being upheld. Of course people will travel with their horses. Of course the number of cases (and the number of quarantines) will rise. Gah. Seriously?

Had drinks with "bestie" tonight. We've seen each other 4 times in the 8 months since she's moved out.
It got me thinking... How much I really value silly Boyfriend. Our relationship has been really good lately, and we get along so well. It kind of makes my other friendships seem... less than. I dunno.

I guess it was a less than stellar day. I keep waiting for my luck to turn around. Lame.


----------



## Katz1411

Just caught up on your journal - good read, and hope you're doing better by now? I think I saw your lease ad when I was looking for a horse to lease. The VS cases and quarantines are disturbing; it seems to be dying down but we need a good hard freeze to knock out the insects, the 30s at night last week weren't enough. 
Hope Gator's doing ok


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## frlsgirl

How are you and Gator doing?


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## Zexious

Katz--You probably did. I took two appointments and said never again xD
To my knowledge the number of VS cases spiked again after the state fair, especially considering the state vet's office has been backed up for works. Things will be much better when they calm back down. 
Overall I'm doing ok  

frlsgirl--Same ol, same ol )8



Mini Update. Tuesday, September 16th, 2014.

I have good days and bad. 










I haven't been able to see Gator much the past couple of days, as I have been dealing with MRI stuff, and a little convention to take my mind off of things. I will do a legit update with Gator pictures in the next couple of days.

I meet boyfriend's brother tonight... It's important that I make a good impression, as the only time I have met any of his family was his father while in bed in the ICU. Not a great first impression by any means.

Besides that I'm just juggling visiting Gator and school. He is doing well, the facilities I keep him at are awesome and provide him with great care. I can't ask for anything else.


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## Zexious

Major Update. Saturday, January 3rd, 2015.

Hey, guys! Happy New Year!










It's definitely been a while since I have posted an update. A ton has happened, but I'll just outline things for now.

In October, my 17 year old kitty passed away due to bladder cancer. I can't describe what a difficult time this was for me. Andy (who was never called Andy xD) was undoubtedly my best friend. He moved with me from California to Colorado when I was seven and has been there for me through everything (not that he had a choice xD). It happened so suddenly--I took him into the vet thinking he was having kidney problems, which are common in senior, male cats--and left without my best friend. I was devastated. I'm still working through the loss...

At the beginning of December, Boyfriend bought me a kitten as a Christmas present. I was worried it was too soon, but he has helped me so much. He is a flame point Siamese, who we have named Spoopy. He's just the funniest thing, I'll definitely have to post pictures!

In mid-December, I went under for another surgery. The pain became too great, and my alignment was super off--I still wasn't able to ride; I was having trouble walking; it was necessary, but I was scared. Luckily, my parents flew in to take care of me and Boyfriend has been super supportive. I am so lucky to have these three people in my life, I cannot even put it into words.

Now, I'm just on the road to recovery. I'm still on crutches and in a cast--so I can't walk all that great, ride, or drive. It's a work in progress, and I'm ok with that. I'm really hoping this year will be the year I am able to ride again. Thanks to everyone who has kept up with me through this journey. I hope there will be more good news this year, than bad. 


Today was... well, boring. I hit up the gym, and nearly fell doing so (crutches + wet floors + tile = ?? ) but it was worth it. I get a bit stir crazy hanging out in my house all day!

But, more importantly.... (drum roll please...) I convinced my mom to take me to visit Gator today!










Like I said, I'm still on crutches (and my mom is /terrified/ of horses) so I couldn't even get him out ): But I was able to pet him and love on him, and give him a treat. My barn has been fabulous, letting him out everyday and riding him. 

I'm so thankful for everything and everyone in my life, and for this forum. It keeps me sane while I'm cooped up! Look forward to more posts and, hopefully, some that involve riding in the coming months <3


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## SueC

Happy New Year and all the very best for your health and continued recovery, Z!  I hope this will be a riding year for you. :hug:


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## gunslinger

I can tell by the picture that Gator was happy to see you....

My you've been through a lot....I take it this was an unexpected surgery?

Anyway....I guess it's been well over a year from the accident.....and I hope you're better soon....


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## Zexious

Sue--Thank you! It means a lot <3

gunslinger--Sort of unexpected... It was planned about two weeks out. My original surgeon referred me to someone else--I think this was a bit more than he could handle, unfortunately. 
It ended up that the metal they put in my foot was too large once the swelling went down--I had the plate and some screws pushing up/out of my foot ): It was causing my foot to bleed and really hurt. So, hopefully this has solved everything...
Sometimes I feel like I've had an unfair amount of crappy things happen to me. I have to remind myself that everyone has tribulations, but it's hard Dx

Boring Update. Sunday, January 4th, 2015.

Since none of you have "met" him, I thought I'd post a picture of Spoopy! He's adorable--super cuddly and playful, which is exactly what I needed.










Today was... well, very much the same as yesterday. Eat. Sleep. Gym. Gator. Repeat. xD









Gah! What is that barn monster?!
Oh. Just a fuzzy Gator <3


I thought I'd end this (slightly boring) post with a picture of Andy (affectionately called Tittles). He truly was a special, one of a kind cat. Rest in piece, little friend.


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## frlsgirl

Happy new year! Glad to hear that things are looking up for you, sort of. Sorry about Andy but glad you have a new kitty to help you through it.


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## Zexious

frlsgirl--It's definitely a big "sort of" right now! xD It's more of a waiting game than anything. But it could be much worse ):

Frio Update. Wednesday, January 7th, 2015.

Brrrrr! The week started out beautiful, and rapidly got very-very cold! Like, "Boyfriend-Gets-My-Car-Stuck-In-The-Driveway" very-very cold xD

Well, life has been pretty boring since my last update. Eat. Sleep. Gym. Repeat. Eat. Sleep. Gym. Repeat. xD I got to spend some time with Tristan, so that's good and appreciated. Sometimes I feel like I'll go crazy cooped up in my room all day...









This is my "working out" face. Not very cute, right? xD
EDIT--Dat huge nose! Whyyyy? I promise it's not that big in real life xD!









But look at these giant balls xD












Spoopy, in all his awkward growing spurts xD 









Here's a bunny. I was pretty stoked to see him--he's a blond bunny that hangs out at my barn. So cute <3


And, once again for the important news, Gator!! He got his frets done today <3 I'm super stoked that, after a discussion with my trusted farrier, Gator is going barefoot. This is great for two reasons 1) I think it's better for horses, if they can swing it. It was never realistic while I was showing. And 2) it'll be a bit softer on my checkbook. It went from $100 (which is really not that bad, compared to the $220 [?!?] I was paying for a full set at my old barn) down to $45. Every little bit helps while I'm not in work!









Excuse those long toes ;-; He was overdue! But the weather/surgery made scheduling rather difficult.

We're going to keep an eye on him and see how he does. Provided he's not sore (or gets over any expected soreness in a couple of days) it'll stay like this. I'll continue easing Gator into retirement if/when I can ride. Down from 5 hard rides a week to probably 3 much easier ones. He deserves it. <3

I hope everyone had a lovely beginning of their week! Stay warm!


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## gunslinger

I keep all three of my horses barefooted.....I ride them in renegade hoof boots.....on the fronts....except for Sunnyboy....he needs rears....as he's more tender footed than the other two....

I've had Sunnyboy in shoes for four years of so....he's been out of them for about a year now and his feet have never looked better.....and his feet are much healthier...


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## Fraido

Don't mind me awkwardly popping in here, but I have read through this and quite enjoyed doing so!
Got some laughs out of it, got some moments where I felt a little bit depressed for you, yet you were so positive! HOW!? How do you stay so positive? Teach me your ways! x3


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## Zexious

gunslinger--So far, so good! 
I'm not in one camp or the other hardcore--I think that barefoot is better if your horse can handle it and if the footing in an area warrants it. Since I was showing before, it wasn't really realistic. Now that we're not, and my farrier thinks he can handle it, I think it'll be good~

Fraido--Firstly, welcome! 8D Thanks for reading! I really appreciate it, and love the comments.
To be honest, positivity is something I've had to focus on. I just keep reminding myself that, as a whole, I'm lucky--I've got really supportive parents, and a supportive significant other, I've got a great horse, I live in a beautiful house, the list goes on. Even if things are hard, I have to focus on the good :> It's what keeps me going!

It's Been A While Since An.... Update. Friday, January 16th, 2015.

So, a little over a week has passed and, unfortunately, there's not a whole lot to tell.

I got to spend some much needed time with friends:








You can take the girl out of the party but you can't take the party out of the girl xD (Admittedly, not my most flattering picture!)

Spoopy is doing well. Here he is attacking the Kermit that Boyfriend bought me during my stay in the hospital.










I had some interesting doctor adventures this week, which I can detail... 
For starters, I will be in a cast for a total of a month. I made an appointment right in the middle, at two weeks, to get a recast as some of the swelling in my foot was going down and the cast was getting too loose. 
So, I go to the new office (thankfully not the one in the Springs, which is nearly a two hour drive!) and am waiting.... when the lights go out. Total power outage, and they expect it to last for three hours. The machine to saw off my cast is electric. Needless to say, I was not impressed.










So, we made an appointment for two days later. I did get to pick up the metal that was in my foot, though!









That was ALL in there. wat.









And look at this unicorn! (Yes, I was THAT person, taking pictures of fish in the doctor's office)

So, yesterday (after more waiting! xD) I finally got the ****-loose-gross thing off. I even got a bi-colored cast. I'm just that cool ;D









Spoopy wonders.... What ARE this?


Today was... well, a little lame. I did get to go to the gym, and went to a new Mexican restaurant with my mama. And, more importantly, I got to visit Gator! I brought him carrots and gave him pets--still can't do much else, between my cast/crutches and my mom being terrified.
Weirdly, there was a new horse in the barn, with a pink sign attached to it saying not to feed the horse anything, that it would choke--but that he loves people and attention, and loves to be talked to and petted. Poor guy... ;-; Does anyone more experienced than I know what the cause of this could be? :/ I'll take pics next time!

I forgot my phone in the car during my little visit, so I thought I'd treat you all to a "throw back" picture of Gator. This is he and I at a clinic with a BNT. Gah, I miss riding ;-;










I hope you all have a fabulous weekend! I'll update soon <3


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## Zexious

It's Been a While Since An.... Update. Tuesday, January 27th, 2015.

Again, there's not a whole lot to report. My life is boring, and it's getting me a bit down... But I've got to stay positive 

In some happy news, Boyfriend bought Spoopy an outfit. When life is as drab as mine is right now, you have to take happiness in the little stuff 









Teehee, isn't he cute??


In slightly more serious news, I was put into a boot a few days ago.









This means I am one step closer to recovery, and I will take it! I am now able to put 50% of my weight on it (which essentially equates to walking with one crutch, like a cane), take a shower, and SWIM! Which I got to do today. That helped to raise my spirits as well.

Though relatively uneventful, today was a good today. I went out to the barn 









Gator says OH HAI
Hopefully next time I post an update, I will--at the very least--be able to get him out and groom him. I'd love that ;-;









This is a photo of the guy that has the sign outside his stall, which I mentioned in my last post. Poor guy ): The sign is still up... Keep him in your thoughts.


I'll round out this (albeit, boring) post with a suggestion. "Over the Garden Wall" is easily the most artistic, beautiful cartoon I have seen in a long time. It's only 10 episodes, each of which are only about 10 minutes long. You can watch it online at watchcartoononline (...wow, that sounds so redundant haha). If any of y'all enjoy cartoons, high art, and contemporary works I think you'll really enjoy this.










Have a great week, my friends!
EDIT--Wrong link for pics ;-;


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## Bondre

I just read through your journal- sounds like you've had a rough year. Good on for keeping smiling (at least here on the forum). At first I skipped pages, and back last spring (?) you were riding; I thought GREAT and went to the last page, where I find photos of metal hardware and legs in braces :-( So then I read the rest to find out what went wrong. Hopefully now you've got all that meccano out of your foot you'll heal fast.

So glad you didn't have to sell Gator. Once you get active and you can ride again, this last year of frustrations will gradually fade away. (Though it must be pretty overwhelming for you right now). And hey, it looks like the end of reduced mobility is in sight!

I love your cat. He looks so awkward and 'teenage' lol. Here's one of my cat Bichita when she was a youngster. She just loves the motorbikes for dozing on, and this was last summer when the saddle was too hot for comfort, so she'd drape herself elegantly over the handlebars (doing a good impression of a dead cat). 


_Posted via Mobile Device_

Isn't that just SO comfortable!


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## gunslinger

It's the bad times that makes one appreciate the good times.....

You've got plenty of good times coming......and pretty soon I think....

Gator looks good.....I'm sure he'll be happy when your able to groom him....


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## Zexious

Bondre--Hi! Welcome to the forum !
You definitely hit the nail on the head with your description of Spoopy! He is definitely in his teenage years... both in looks and in attitude!
Bichita is adorable--is she a Siamese as well? Isn't it hilarious how they find what one would assume to be terribly uncomfortable sleeping positions? xD!
I noticed that you have a journal as well--I'll have to check it out!

gunslinger--I sure hope so! Just gotta take things one day at a time, no matter how frustrating it gets. I appreciate your support <3 It means a lot!

Sunny/Windy Update~ Sunday, February 8th, 2015.

As usual, there isn't much to report.

Spoopy has taken to sitting on my shower chair (still can't stand, so I get to shower like an old person xD!) I think it's the funniest thing.









In the corner of the photo you can see just a bit of the scrubby thing that I use (it's Cookie Monster /AmIReallyAnAdult?)), and Spoopy loves to attack it and bring it to me as a gift. So hilarious!

My mother went away for a week back to Texas to go on sales calls, and so I was without a chauffeur for a while--which meant being cooped up inside for what seemed like forever. It was tough having so little human interaction (Boyfriend worked nearly all day, and would come in the evenings, and Roommates worked the bulk of the day as well). So, upon Julie's return, it was great to get some time in with friends.











The weather has been absolutely beautiful, aside from 40+mph winds. As a result, I got to head to the gym for a bit of swimming and SEE GATOR today!









Ignore the hideous halter--for whatever reason his leather one is in my garage (??)

As we were leaving we ran into the BO, who offered to take him out and remove his blanket for me so I could see him. I had already put my phone away by this time, but he looks GREAT! Chromey, and getting a bit of meat on him. He's still got those shark fin withers and is a bit ribby--but that's just a matter of his conformation and being 22. His rump in particular looks fabulous <3 'Dat booty!
We chatted about putting him out in a run for the summer--I think he'd enjoy that. He's such a special guy, and I want him to be as comfortable and happy as possible.

Provided I don't update before then, you all have a fabulous Valentines Day! I made this silly picture with a Sharknado app--I feel the urge, again, to assert that I really am an adult!


----------



## Zexious

It's Been A While Since An... Update. Monday, March 9th, 2015.










I hope everyone is doing well! Much has changed since my last update...I'm not even quite sure where to begin.


For starters, I have been cleared to drive!! This means that mommy dearest, who has still been chauffeuring me around all this time, is heading home. We went to breakfast yesterday at her favorite local Mexican restaurant--she's a little frantic, but I'm glad. I so appreciate everything she has done for me during her stay, but I'm ready to have my independence back!

I have also been cleared to ride! But, there's a catch :/ I'm a bit nervous to get on Gator after so much time off for both of us. Do any of y'all (teehee) have any suggestions on how I can get over my apprehension?
Frankly, I know I'm being silly... he hasn't done anything bad by any means, I just can't afford to re-injure myself if something /does/ go wrong.
I think my course of action is to contact a trainer I know to just do some tune up rides--and maybe a lesson or two.

On that note, I did go see him today! I tacked him up and lunged him and loved on him <3 It absolutely lifted my spirits









Oh hai.

I did that and hit the gym today. My stamina isn't what it used to be (haha, I sound like an old person) and it wore me out!

I guess the synopsis of above is.. things are looking up.
I hope everyone is having a very happy March!


----------



## Zexious

It's Been A While Since An... Update. April 14th, 2015.

Hi, friends~











As per usual, my life has been pretty much consumed by Physical Therapy. Talk about more setbacks--I have been getting E-Stim (Electric Stimulation). It's not relaxing like Tens, it just... kind of bites xD it leaves little burns on my leg where the electrodes go... hoping that comes to an end soon.

I have been working out fairly frequently; I'm still in quite a lot of pain (so... no riding... maybe this is just my life forever? /shot), so it's not everyday like I would like.
I'm considering looking into some classes--either pole dancing or something provided by my gym (Yoga, Sculpting, Cycling, etc). Does anyone have thoughts on any of the above? I could use some guidance x.x

Here is this thing:










He's getting so darn big ;-; And, frankly, feels like my only friend at the moment. xD I guess I'm just, generally, feeling a bit down today... I dunno.


I went out to visit Gator today--I loved on him and gave him treats. I think he'll be moving outside soon, as the weather seems to turning around.










Yum, lunch~

Miss chatting with you all, and I hope things are going well for everybody.


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## frlsgirl

Still no riding? That sucks. How long has it been? Six months? Is anybody riding Gator for you?

I've been sick with a nasty respiratory infection and I also recently started PT for an old shoulder injury. I'm not a good patient; it's hard for me to sit still/take it easy when there is so much to do. So I totally admire your conviction to PT and exercise.


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## Zexious

frlsgirl--I don't count the handful of times I was able to ride last summer, so it's been about a year and a half. 
There was someone riding Gator for me, but she stopped two-ish months ago due to barn drama. That is, she left the barn as a whole, nothing to do with me haha.
Frankly, it's not easy for me, either. My entire life has been put on hold, and it's not a matter of "taking it easy" it's a matter of "I'm in the ICU and physically cannot leave" or "I am in a hospital bed and physically cannot leave" or even "The metal in my foot will literally split my foot open if I am not careful."
It's really hard and really frustrating. Half the time I just want to scream or cry haha.


It's Been A While Since An... Update. Tuesday, May 19th, 2015.

Rain, rain go away~
All of Colorado is saturated, and it's not supposed to let up anytime soon. And that leaves for a pretty boring couple of days.










I did start school last Monday. I'm glad to have something to do everyday. My graduation is about a year and a half overdue, but this is again out of my control. As you can probably tell, I'm a little bummed.

I did get out to see my beastie, though <3









Not the most flattering of photos haha. /ThoseSharkfinWithers

Despite the mud and muck, I brushed and loved on him and turned him out and showered him with cookies. Also, I saw a little tiny baby bunny. So sweet. So cute.
Hopefully I can ride soon--this cold weather is wreaking havoc on my joints. )':


----------



## Fraido

I'm hoping you can get back in that saddle consistently, soon!


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## frlsgirl

There was a time when you couldn't even get to the barn, or get him out of the stall if someone drove you there, so that's progress, right? He looks really good by the way, especially considering that he's not in regular work.


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## gunslinger

I'm sure there will soon be a time, and a place, where you can enjoy some of the things you used to do....

Good to see you update....I missed you....


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## SueC

Hey Zexious!  Nice to see your update. I am keeping my fingers crossed you will be riding soon and that life gets more normal for you.

I wonder if this is part of what gets you down: The feeling of being behind where you thought you were going to be? Because I'm like that too - such as getting behind schedule with our house build after a major car crash in 2012. I just have this thing about being behind schedule. However, age is mellowing me and these days I more and more discard the idea of a schedule, especially when I can see in retrospect how the longer way around gave me some pretty views and interesting meetings the freeway probably wouldn't have! 

I heard a poem once that had the lines in it,

_I thought I was an hour or a year behind
But the hours and the years are only time
_


Adversity does actually make most people more compassionate too, and think harder about their priorities in life, rather than getting swept along with the tide of what everyone else expects or does. This can be really liberating. You're young and you just might find that ten years down the track, on balance you will have already gained more years than you lost, just because it taught you to live your own life better, and be your own person. Plus you'll probably be able to look back and count all the wonderful people you met as a result whom you would otherwise not have known.

Oh yeah, and in ten years you'll still not be old! ;-)

Continuing best wishes with your recovery. :hug:

And because you like donkeys, a funny little clip you might enjoy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCwMjEIEsvI


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## 6gun Kid

Glad you're almost put back together Humpty Dumpty!!!! I know you are frustrated, but you have shown incredible patience, perseverance, and grace during this. I would not have been half as good as you,. I definitely feel you on the rain, I think I have grown gills!


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## Zexious

Fraido--As do I D:

Frlsgirl--You're right! :> I need to continue to stay positive!

gunslinger--You're right as well, it's just a matter of time. I've just started to lose my patience and it's getting harder and harder to look on the bright side. But things do keep getting better, so I just have to remember that~
I hope things are going well for you--I know you had some tribulations of your own ):

Sue--Thank you for the kind words <3
In what you described about a time line, I'm just like you! I had everything relatively planned out and good to go. I knew when I was going to get my undergrad and my masters, when I was going to get married, etc etc. Of course, none of these things happened. I guess I just need to sit back and enjoy the ride as much as I can, even when the ride isn't the most pleasant xD
I have this silly hope that because I had such a run of crappy things happen that I will soon have a run of very /good/ things happen :> Fingers crossed!

6--Thank you for the kind words <3
Things have finally cleared up for me as far as the rain goes! How's it looking in Texas? Did you get much flooding?


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## Zexious

It's Been A While Since An... Update. Tuesday, June 16, 2015.

Ah, the wheel in the sky keeps on turning x.x

Things are happening fairly quickly now, and I'm still trying to get my head wrapped around them.
I finished up my last class and am enrolled in another until the end of June.
During this time I was cleared to go back to work--but my last job wasn't down with my restrictions, so I have since gotten a different serving job at a sports bar. The money is really good, but the hours are long, trying, and difficult on my little foot. But the good news is that it's building up my stamina and riding (as soon as I can get some darn time!) should be happening very soon. 
They are scheduling way more than I wanted--applied for 2-4 shifts a week and am getting scheduled 6 days consistently x.x Too much!

I also weighed myself for the first time three days ago; I was horrified to find that I am the most out of shape and weak I have ever been. Just another insult to the injury, I suppose 
So I've been more cautious about what I have been eating and, as of yesterday, had lost 6 lbs in two days. I still have a long way to go (about 40 lbs x.x) but at least it's a solid start.

On top of all of this change, Boyfriend is finally in the process of moving in. This will make the daily things I must do (Gator, Gym, cleaning the house, etc...) much easier, as I will not feel obligated to spend all my time with him when he is here.

Gator is doing well.








If nothing else this works to ease him into retirement--one that he definitely deserves. And, what's better, now that I am back to working I can afford him with no guilt! <3

There's a new baby at the barn. She is just the sweetest, most adorable thing. Almost makes me want to get another foal! ...Almost 








But, seriously, if that face doesn't cheer everyone up, nothing will ;D









Then, there's this thing.

Hope everyone is having a great Tuesday! You all can expect updates much more often, now. <3


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## frlsgirl

This all sounds very positive. The foal is adorable.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gunslinger

I'm glad to read you're about healed up.....

I'm not sure Gator want's to retire....I think he'd love to change jobs....and become a trail horse......:cowboy:


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## Mercy98

Just read through this entire post! WOW...you are so positive and cause me to want to be more positive  
How's you're foot?
How's Gator?
Love your posts!!


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## Zexious

frlsgirl--I know, right?? <3

gunslinger--I wish that were an option, but trails are not as easy to get to from this location as I had hoped. I'd either need a trailer (which I don't have), or a horse bomb proof enough to walk on a very narrow shoulder with 45+mph traffic on the side...which I also don't have Dx
I could just ride around the property, though :>

Mercy--Hi there! Welcome to my little corner of HF :>
I appreciate the kind words--I really do try to stay cheery, but sometimes it gets hard ;-; I just have to remember to look on the bright side and remember how fortunate I am in so many ways!

A Stinky Update. Thursday, June 25th, 2015.

Hi there, friends! Just got back from the gym, and had--though I am very smelly and in dire need of a shower ;D--time for a leetle update.

Naturally, I went to visit Gator today, as it was my day off.









As it stands, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that I am in talks with a trainer to come and get on Gator in the next week or two, and give him a brief brush up, so I may finally ride him! In that regard, things are looking up!
The bad news is, the previous two times (excluding today) I went out, he looked a little off in his left hind. Yesterday, BO looked at him and said he looked ok, and when I went out today he looked fine as well, so fingers crossed he's good to go! 









Oh, hai.

Life besides that has been super busy. I am still in school for the next week-ish, and thankfully work has slowed down a *little.* As in... four shifts a week rather than six--it's still a lot, but certainly more feasible!
I can feel myself getting stronger, and am slowly-but-surely losing weight...but man, am I pooped!










I also have managed to hang out with some more friends since my last update...










This may seem like a small victory but, for me, it's really huge. Most of my friends sort of peaced out after my accident, so it really means a lot to me to start going out again, particularly when it's paired with going to school, finally starting to work again, going to the gym, and being on the cusp of riding. It means that finally, after a year and a half, my life is starting to get back to the way it's supposed to be. <3

Aaaand here is a blind puppy with his very own seeing eye dog as a closing, feel good photo <3








Have a happy weekend!!


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## anndankev

That head shot of Gator is really good.


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## Zexious

anndankev--Thank you! He is awfully handsome <3

It's Been A While Since An... Update. Sunday, September 6th, 2015.

I have so much to say, and somehow also nothing to say.

I'll start with the mundane stuff...
I am still horribly out of shape, but am down 3 lbs since the last time I weighed myself.
Boyfriend has officially moved in, and that's great.

Now onto the more interesting/crappy stuff...
In early August I set up an appointment with a trainer to come get on Gator. During this session, I was leading him out to the round pen, tacked up, when he spooked and jumped a good ten feet to the side. He pulled me off my feet and when I landed, my knee popped out. It snapped back into place pretty much immediately, but the pain was pretty terrible. I got rope burn on my hand on top of that (shame on me for never using gloves), but that was ultimately the least of my worries.

I just grinned and took it like a 'man.' 
The trainer lunged him, and asked if I wanted to--but I was in a world of hurt and declined. During his lunging he would have small, explosive fits. She got on for maybe 10 minutes and just walked around; the whole time Gator seemed nervous/agitated. These two things really worry me that his back is hurting him...
She got off, we called it good, and I said we'd be in touch.

I already had an appointment the previous day for my heel, and so I just waited 'til then to have someone look at my knee.
One sports medicine doctor, multiple X-rays, MRIs, and a week later... I find out that I have straight up broken my knee. And it's a three month recovery time. 









At least he's still a lady killer.



Once again I am out of work. Once again I can't ride or really do anything on my own. I am frustrated and sad and I just want my life to get back to normal.
The pain in Gator's back (that's what I'm assuming it is?) is troublesome... I am worried that it's not worth it to try to get him back into shape. I am going back and forth between calling the vet out and calling out a chiropractor... Maybe both? I'm still not sure. 
It's looking more and more like he's heading toward retirement. Which, really, is fine. He more than deserves it, and I will keep him happy and healthy far into the future regardless as to whether or not our riding days are over.









I'll end with this, because I certainly know I could use a smile.


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## gunslinger

Oh my....I sure hate to hear about the knee.....

How long has Gator been stood up? Maybe he's just anxious?

Also, DW has gained about 40 pounds.....frankly, what makes a woman beautiful is a smile on her face and a glow in her eyes......

You still smiling? 

Hang in there!


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## anndankev

:hug:Oh my, poor you.

Like GS says, hang in there.


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## frlsgirl

Oh you poor thing. Hope Gator is ok as well!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious

Gunslinger--Under saddle, it definitely looks more like discomfort than anxiety. He has always been on the spooky side, but this looks like something different.
I'm definitely trying to stay positive, but it's been tough. It seems like life enjoys handing me big, steaming piles of crap with bows on top. As soon as things start to look good, they take a turn south again. 
I know that, ultimately, I have a lot to be grateful for and many reasons to smile, but some days are still difficult. Ugh. I'm sure I sound like a whiny, spoiled brat. ): I apologize for so much negativity and complaining.

anndankev--Thank you ;-; Again, I really hate to be so whiny... Ugh. I was never this person before. I guess I just have to keep waiting for things to turn around.
This is slightly off topic, but every time I see you around the forums I always wonder... where did your username come from? 

frlsgirl--Thank you :> How is Anna doing??

It's Been A While Since An... Update. Wednesday, September 23rd, 2015.

Happy Fall, everyone. 










I don't have a whole lot to report, but wanted to post this cute picture of Gator and Spoopy, anyway.









I'm still in sort of a holding pattern. Ugh.


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## gunslinger

Every cloud has a silver lining...but you have to get the light lined up just right to see it.....

Keep looking for that silver lining....it's there....I promise...


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## frlsgirl

^^^^what he said. Just keep your chin up, even though it is hard to do sometimes. Ana is good; thanks for asking.

So has a chiro or vet looked at Gator? Did the trainer ever call you back?


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## anndankev

anndankev = momsondaughter

nothing really creative, except of course for the 2 pregnancies. LOL


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## Zexious

Gunslinger--I know you're right. It's just hard to find it, sometimes. I guess I just have to squint and tilt my head the right way!
How is your wifey doing? <3<3

frlsgirl--I had BO look him over for the time being, and she said there was nothing to be concerned about but am still planning to have the vet out. Unfortunately I am a server while pursuing both of my Bachelors, for anyone on the thread that didn't know. I have been out of work for the past two months because of the broken knee, and am waiting 'til I can afford to bring him out. I feel like a terrible person/owner saying that, and was only slightly assuaged by BO's reassurance. I swear, it's just one thing after another.
And, I declined further contacts with the trainer. Call me petty, but I was a little sour after she had me untack/put Gator away with a broken knee. Granted, she had no way of knowing that, but my knee had swollen like a balloon and I looked in pretty sorry shape. If and when it's determined that getting him back into shape is the right course of action, I'll be looking elsewhere.

anndankev--I thought it was likely names, but could never figure out where the spaces went! <3

Kind of a Frowny... Update. Thursday, September 24, 2015.

Yay! A relatively fast update!

Unfortunately, (for this reason?) there is very little to say.

Class today. Gym as well. I'm slightly up from my last update, but I fluctuate so greatly day to day that it's not really saying much.
I went to visit Gator and stuffed his face with treats. I also had a good cry--about the current situation of my life, about the fact that I've gained weight, and about the fact that I'm not really where I wanted to be at 23. It feels good to just let it all out, sometimes, and the 'horse smell' is more therapeutic than people give it credit for.










Maybe someday I will have something interesting to say!


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## anndankev

LOL, 3 letters each


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## frlsgirl

Zexious - I'm on a budget as well so I can relate and I totally get why you didn't call that trainer back; unfortunately some horse people are not good "people" people.


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## Zexious

anndankev--Now I know <3

frlsgirl--That's how it would appear! The "business" portion seems also to be lacking, unfortunately.
I don't mind paying the going rate, but I expect to get the type of service that I pay for. I guess I'll stick to A trainers when I get back into riding haha!

Life Goes On... Update. Monday, October 12th, 2015.

Well, Gator had an abscess at the beginning of last week. I spent a couple days soaking it and he appears to be all better. I swear, it's just one thing after another.









At least he's feeling better.

I went to the gym today. Still not where I want to be weight-wise, but things appear to be going steadily downward. Yay for one good thing <3 

I've sort of reached an impasse with my roommate... Could use some advice...

I moved my rabbit (who was previously in my room) downstairs when it got too hot during the summer. Roommate mentioned today that he wants him moved back upstairs. I get it, it's a community area, but the issue is... I am now allergic to him. The rabbit, not the roommate xD I was having some breathing issues earlier in the year; I thought nothing of it, but it greatly improved (to the point I no longer had any breathing issues at all) when the rabbit was moved out of my room. When I cuddle up to him, I puff up and cannot even open my eyes (needless to say, I don't do this anymore haha).
So, my options are... 
1-Leave the rabbit downstairs and point out that Roommate is not exactly cleanly himself. (I don't mean to be petty, but he will leave trash/dishes everywhere, and has not once vacuumed or done the floors, which I do weekly at a minimum).
2-Move the rabbit into my bedroom and deal with being unable to breathe.
3-Move the rabbit into my study. I am trying my best to avoid this because one) it gets too hot in there and two) I don't spend enough time in there.

Thoughts?









Still just feeling so melancholy... I need one of these.


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## anndankev

Well, it depends on if your relationship with your roommate is platonic. LOL

Could you trade your rabbit in on a chocolate one?


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## frlsgirl

How about finding rabbit a new home? Maybe even with a close friend so that you know the rabbit is in good hands and you can still visit?

That reminds me of a funny story....in Germany we have a product called "PerWolle", it's basically the German version of Woolite, a detergent for delicates such as wool sweaters. Anyway, they used to have a picture of a rabbit on the carton, because their slogan was that if you wash your clothes with this detergent, it will be as soft as a rabbit. Well, I thought it was rabbit soap so I tried to bathe my pet rabbit with it....needless to say, it didn't go so well  I nearly gave my poor rabbit a heart attack and flooded the bathroom with suds.

Anyway, just trying to put a smile on your face; I know it's been rough going for you. Sending good thoughts and hugs from Oklahoma (((())))


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## Zexious

A New Years' Update. Friday, January 1st, 2016.

I always love the beginning of the year. It fills me with hope and promise that usually gets extinguished by week two. But, hey, I'll enjoy it while it lasts.









Aw, look at the weirdos celebrating the New Year.

Life is still very much the same as it always is.
I lost some weight, and plan to continue that trend into '16, along with my little Fitbit buddy.

My mother is in town. 









Hi mom!

She's easily the most generous, genuinely good person I know. She is such a huge help to me, and I don't know what I'd do without her.
We grabbed some Mexican for lunch today. I so enjoy her company~











And, of course, leetle Gator. 
Happily enjoying retirement. He gets lots of treats and love. What more could a horse ask for?

I'm sort of at a impasse as to what I should do about this little thread.
I'm really not doing anything in regards to horseback riding. I'm currently waiting to hear back from my surgeon as to whether or not I will need ANOTHER surgery ( /cry). I'm not sure whether or not people care about my personal life? 
I /am/ considering taking Dressage lessons once a week, provided I can find a barn. I'm not interested in competing (been there, done that) at the moment, but just want some quality riding time. I so enjoy learning new things, and it's been several years since I took Dressage lessons. We'll see what a little search can pull up.

For now, I guess I'll casually update, based on interest.

I hope everyone had a safe and happy new year. I love you all!


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## Zexious

Addition to the above!

I forgot to mention, too, that I'm casually looking at a few Andalusians


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## anndankev

Yes, please keep updating whenever you feel like it.

You look wonderful and happy. Makes me happy to see you looking happy.

Happy New Year


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## Bondre

Happy New Year from me too! I saw your Andalusian thread and thought "hey, what happened to Gator?". So he's retired, he looks a happy boy. 

You probably remember that my Macarena is largely Andalusian, and there's lots about her in my journal. To summarize in few words: great horses with BIG hearts. 
:loveshower:

If you go and check them out, I hope you'll post here about them. With PICTURES! 

Sorry to hear that the scalpel-wielders want to cut you up again. I hope they decide against it, I'm sure you don't need yet another convalescence. You're looking great in that photo BTW 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gunslinger

You know, I was wondering about you as you haven't updated this thread in awhile now....

I don't know, but I feel pretty certain, this new year is going to bring you good fortune.

Moms....well....let me just say no one will ever love you like your mom and leave it at that......

I'm so hopeful you're healing will be complete in the first part of this new year and that by spring you'll be on the trails again. 

Gator may be retired, but he looks like he's ready for you to take him on a short trail ride...and maybe you two can make a come back together....

Google Mary Walker barrel racer when you have a few minutes and read about the trials and tribulations this amazing woman has not only endured but overcome.....talk about horse hero's....she's mine.....

Believe in yourself.....you're making a come back this year!


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## frlsgirl

Yes, please add me to the list of people who would love to read your updates


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## 6gun Kid

Im glad you are still plugging along!. I have been back on the forum for a few weeks, and finally got over here to check on yer noggin, which seems to be doing well. What are they contemplating operating on?


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## Zexious

Update - Thursday, April 14th, 2016.

Ugh. One giant ugh.

I guess I'll pick up where I left off on my last post--
I inquired about two Andalusians, neither of which I ended up seeing in person. The first was a ten year old mare who was listed as "green" in the ad. Green is something I can, and don't mind, handling even with a few years off of riding. Well, after a few e-mails back and forth 'green' to this woman actually meant 'was broken to ride six years ago and then not touched again.' No thanks. 
The other was a stallion slightly over my budget--I decided it was unwise to purchase something so pricy, plus have to factor in the cost of gelding, recuperating time, etc etc.

And it's a good thing I didn't.

I had another surgery in late February. 
Same story, different day--or however that saying goes.

My frustration continues to grow.
This accident (and all the surgeries after it) have taken every part of myself that I loved. I can't ride. I can't go to the gym (and do anything other than upper body and core weights). I can't even drive. I am in pain all the time, as this surgery was way more extensive than the last. I have no friends and no social life. 
I know all of these things will come in time, but I have been essentially without them for two years now. 

There is some part of me that's confident this surgery will have solved many of my problems and I can get on the road to some sort of normalcy. But there is a bitter, suspicious part that remembers thinking every surgery before this would be the last. And here we are.

Anyway, here's a link to an owl riding a stuffed horse. 
This Owl Is a Champion Horse Rider - Cheezburger


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## frlsgirl

No words; just this:


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## karliejaye

Aw, I can just feel the frustration in your post and it makes me so sad. Surgeries are miserable, especially the waiting to see if they work part! We may not be friends in realsies, but I think many folks here on HF could be considered friends. 
*hugs*


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## Zexious

Update - May 28th, 2017

Over a year since an update? Man, oh man.

I have gone through several changes since I last posted, and yet somehow still feel as though I'm in the same place. In spite of this, I hardly know where to begin.

I went through another surgery in December which involved severing my Achilles and shaving down bone. Always a great time, obviously. 
Less than a week prior to my surgery, I completed my second BA. In April I moved with Boyfriend to Texas so that I could attend graduate school. I applied to only one program and found out last week that I didn't get in.
I realize, in light of this, the move probably seemed a bit preemptive; but I was desperate to get out of Colorado, and desperate for a change of scenery. This is the first substantial rejection I've ever received, and I'm taking it rather hard. All I do is lie around and mope, which I know is doing nothing to help the situation, but I also find that I don't have the strength to break the cycle. I'm feeling stuck, and lost.

Given that I was only going to live here two years, I left Gator in Colorado under the watchful eye of my BO to pick up after I had completed my MS and landed a job in a more permanent location. I just thought two big moves in so short a time would be too rough on a guy who stresses so much, has arthritis, and who is so hard to keep weight on. But now that plan will need obviously revisiting.
I miss riding and think of it daily, but have no funds to take lessons, much less lease or purchase something in the area. It breaks my heart. 

Any positive thoughts, vibes, and prayers would be gratefully received and much appreciated. 
Thanks for reading.









A photo from a happier time :')


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## frlsgirl

Oh my goodness. So here are all the positives:

You successfully completed your 2nd BA! Woohoo! Congratulations!
You are in a new city. How exciting! 
Texas has lots of good universities; the school that rejected you wasn't right for you; there is something bigger and better just waiting for you.
Gator is doing well at home with your BO!
You survived yet another surgery which means you are one more step toward complete healing!
You apparently get along with your boyfriend very well otherwise you probably wouldn't have moved with him, right? So that's great; lots of singles out there wishing they had a stable relationship.

Hope things continue to progress in a positive direction for you!


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## carshon

Agree - Texas is full of opportunities and jobs! You may find that you love it there. start looking at other schools and programs!!!!!


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## gunslinger

Okay....so you didn't get into graduate school.....your still fine....just regroup and focus....you'll come up with another plan.....

I was thinking about you yesterday......wondering how you were....

Still no riding...?

You've been through a lot.....the last few years....hang in there gal....it's all good.


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## jaydee

*This journal has been closed due to prolonged lack of participation by the author. Journals that have no active participation by the author for a period of time greater than 18 months will be considered abandoned and will be closed until the author asks for them to be reopened.*


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