# Parents Won't take me to Barn!



## lu27m (Feb 22, 2013)

Btw, I can't get a ride with anyone because we are 40 min from the barn (ik, ik, it takes a lot of time)


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

Obvious question here, why not find a horse closer to you that you can lease?


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## lu27m (Feb 22, 2013)

Well I really love the horse Im leasing, and we're actually looking for new horses to lease, but haven't found any good ones...and I show so it kind of matters which horse I have


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## littrella (Aug 28, 2010)

untill your independently mobile, your kinda stuck with what your parents want. If their paying for you to lease a horse but wont take you to ride it, it's kind of a waste of money


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Unfortunately, there's nothing we can tell you that will magically make your parents happy to take you to the barn and wait patiently on you while you ride.

I'm going to presume they're the ones actually paying for the lease as well as your showing fees so they must not be too angry about your riding, otherwise they wouldn't be spending their own money to make you happy.


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

40 one way at the end of the day is a lot to ask for. If I had to drive 40 min one way after I worked, ride, and then drive another 40 min home. I would never see my horse. Not because I didnt want to see him, but it would be too much of a pain to do on top of everything else I have to get done. 

Why not try sitting them down in the beginning of the week and talking about setting a schedule for that week. See when they are able to take you, rather then asking spur of the moment. That way they can plan on taking you and not have to jumble everything else around. Some weeks they may only be able to take you once, other weeks maybe a bit more. You can also ask them what YOU can do for THEM during the week that will in turn make it easier for them to take you to the barn. Help cook dinner, help clean, it goes a long way.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

What's wrong with riding a bicycle? If I wanted to ride, it was either walk or ride a bike as both parents rarely had time to drive me. My parents would get after me from time to time about always being at the barn. Years later, my father in hindsight told me at least they always knew where I was and not getting into trouble or with the wrong crowd.


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## bluehorse68 (Feb 19, 2013)

I agree with Wetrain17. sometimes coming home from work to a hot dinner already made and the laundry folded can do alot for making your parents want to do stuff for you. I don't get to go ride nearly enough because my kids don't really help much around the house. I have to choose between having dinner ready for my husband after working an 8 hour shift myself, or letting him come home to an empty house while I'm out enjoying my horse. It's a hard choice sometimes, and having the kids get dinner done and the house cleaned helps out A LOT!


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

bluehorse68 said:


> I agree with Wetrain17. sometimes coming home from work to a hot dinner already made and the laundry folded can do alot for making your parents want to do stuff for you. I don't get to go ride nearly enough because my kids don't really help much around the house. I have to choose between having dinner ready for my husband after working an 8 hour shift myself, or letting him come home to an empty house while I'm out enjoying my horse. It's a hard choice sometimes, and having the kids get dinner done and the house cleaned helps out A LOT!


Cook more crockpot dinners  cook it overnight and let everyone reheat as they desire or let it cook while you're at work and come home to cooked dinner!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## GamingGrrl (Jan 16, 2013)

Do you have any older friends with cars that you could pay gas + some extra money to take you?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TurkishVan (Feb 11, 2013)

Your parents have 3 children (that includes yourself), correct? 
I'd almost think that the price of gas might have something to do with it too. 

As a courtesy, and to show your parents that you really, really want to go, you could take up some odd jobs around the neighborhood; babysit, mow lawns, paint, etc. That money can go directly into a jar that will pay for gas to and from the barn. Anything left over can go directly towards the care of your horse. 
Make sure you do your own chores though, too! Proving that you're a responsible kid can go a lot farther than pleading with them! 
Good luck!


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## toosexy4myspotz (Oct 7, 2007)

I was stuck in this situation at one point and time but my parents didnt hang around. they took me and dropped me off and left me for 3-4 hours on weekdays and on weekends I was just stuck out from early morning to late at night. I would pack snakes and drinks and plan a whole day out there cause they wouldnt wait an hour and take me home. It was "okay if I take you I drop you off and then I will come get you whenever I have enough time".


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## toosexy4myspotz (Oct 7, 2007)

I dont think this was asked, if it was sorry, how far is the barn from you?


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## texasgal (Jul 25, 2008)

^^ you packed SNAKES?!?!?! Yikes! lol


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## Cat (Jul 26, 2008)

How often on average do you get to ride?


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

toosexy4myspotz said:


> I dont think this was asked, if it was sorry, how far is the barn from you?


She said 40 minutes, so I'm thinking 30-35 miles.


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## toosexy4myspotz (Oct 7, 2007)

texasgal said:


> ^^ you packed SNAKES?!?!?! Yikes! lol


 
Holy cow what spelling mistake. LoL SNACKS. LoL gee wiz....


I can understand not wanting to drive 40 minutes. My parents would have never agreed to that in the first place. Thats an hour and twenty minutes drive time alone. I dont know what to say about getting them to drive you that far.


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## GlassPlatypus (May 25, 2012)

Wetrain17: It sounds like she can't even talk about the barn or horses with her parents without them getting angry, so I doubt sitting down with them to discuss would turn out well.

Saddlebag: Ride a bike some 30 miles each way to the barn??? I ride a bike a lot myself, but no way could even I go that far! Some people can, most couldn't.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Yeah, even when I was a lot younger and in much better shape, no way could I have ridden a bicycle 30-35 miles one way. A horse now, absolutely!


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## toosexy4myspotz (Oct 7, 2007)

Speed Racer said:


> Yeah, even when I was a lot younger and in much better shape, no way could I have ridden a bicycle 30-35 miles one way. A horse now, absolutely!


 
I would love to think I could head out and ride like that!!!! Shoot yeah!!! I would love to move to a place that lived like the old days where there was no cars all you have is horses. I would be in hog heaven. But.....have yet to find a place like that.


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## BlooBabe (Jul 7, 2012)

If the parents are upset when she asks because she asks all the time then maybe sitting down and having a discussion wouldn't be so bad. Getting it all out and settles at once so there isn't any 'nagging' or spur of the moment conversations when they might other wise be predisposed. 
Bringing up the fact that, unless it's a free lease, it's a waste of money not to bring you there might make them decide to stop the lease all together rather see that you should be there more. But a schedule is needed because an hour and a half is a lot of time when you're not the only child that wants to do things. Maybe see if your siblings want to ride or go with you that way there's no conflict of schedule and it could be a family activity?


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## busysmurf (Feb 16, 2012)

Ugh, the thought of riding a bike 35 minutes (((shudders))). When I was a kid we occaisionaly had my horses out for training, and usually they were about the same distance away as you are.

The best I can say is make it as easy for them to spend that time on you as possible. They might be rushing you because there's other things that they need to get done. I can't imagine they would drop you off, leave, and come back. That's almost 2 hrs in the car wasted. Find out what it is that needs to be done, and do it. Make the the time available for them, to be available for you. 

Maybe you could work it out that if your parents were able to drop you off, you could pay someone to take you home? Yes, it's out of their way, but if you're paying them for their mileage & time someone may take you up on it.


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

GlassPlatypus said:


> Wetrain17: It sounds like she can't even talk about the barn or horses with her parents without them getting angry, so I doubt sitting down with them to discuss would turn out well.


 
Again, if she helped out more around the house, maybe they would be more apt to help her. Three kids means the parents probably have a lot of running around to do. If she cooked dinner, did laundry, cleaned up, it would take a lot of off her parents. Even if she helps a little now, do more. This is how the "me generation" is created. Kids feel they have to get whatever they want and do nothing in return. Once her parents see her putting more effort into helping around the house, then she can sit down with them.


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

I always biked to the barn. It was a half hour drive and would take me almost 2 hours to bike there.

Another option is maybe befriending others at the barn and your parents can drop you off somewhere central that you could meet up with friends or other boarders and get a drive. Time to go home you parents can pick you up from the same place they dropped you off.


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

Any of these thoughts help you?


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## DimSum (Mar 28, 2012)

GlassPlatypus said:


> Saddlebag: Ride a bike some 30 miles each way to the barn??? I ride a bike a lot myself, but no way could even I go that far! Some people can, most couldn't.


Besides being a huge a safety issue-a 30 mile bike ride by a youngster in the dark (bad time of year) isn't something that I'd let my kid do.


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## Iseul (Mar 8, 2010)

See..my friend and I use to walk to the barn from the bus stop 3 or so miles from the barn, and I was thinking about biking from home 10-12 miles the safe (back roads) way.

My mum refused to take me to that barn (10 minute drive, tops) more than once every two weeks..I had to hitch a ride with my friend and his mum home whenever we'd walk to the barn. I swear his mum hated me..lol.

Now that I have a car of my own (finally happened at 18 and I greatly appreciate that my mum got it for me..she goes on about how it's the family car and not mine..but my brother has one sitting in my nanas garage and my mum has her own, you can just tell she isn't planning on taking it away), I can drive myself to the barn. Instead of refusing to drive me, she now refuses to give me some extra gas money at the end of the week when I'm running low because of the trips out to a barn that's now 25-30 minutes away, lol. It's not her responsibility to do such anymore, which I fully understand.

My dad had promised me a show season of lease before he died as my birthday present. He only had 2 months in and while my mum was livid that she was kind of obligated (in her mind, although I did ask) to pay for the rest. By that point since she was paying for the lease, she took me out at least once a week, and when I did a lot around the house she'd take me out an extra day.

Truthfully, neither her or my dad would've ever drove 40 minutes to the barn, wouldn't even have had to think about whether or not they were going to pay for a lease horse that far away.

My suggestion for you is to find a lease horse at your experience level much closer. I don't care if it can show or not, and neither did my parents. You can work on showing with it (more experience) just like I did. My first lease was at the same barn and was a draft cross gelding with a rearing problem no one told me about..lol. At 15/16 I fixed his rearing problem (to this day I haven't heard of him ever offering to rear) and got him running gaming patterns only a few seconds off winning times. I'd never trained a horse or fixed any problems, BUT common sense and this forum told me to take his head when he got lifty in the front and move him forward. I had great fun showing on him with never winning a thing at all.

So..if that was confusing my main points are:
1. Find a lease horse closer, show experience or not.
2. Help out around the house and stop bugging your parents about taking you, it isn't really their responsibility. 
3. Well..have fun whenever you get to ride for however long.

Good luck.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hidalgo13 (Dec 24, 2010)

I second trying to sit down with your parents and discuss it with them. Choose a good time. Don't ask them when they get back from work or when they seem tired or strained. Maybe help them clean up after Sunday dinner and then ask if you could sit down with them for 10 minutes. Maybe write it all in a letter if you feel you can't get to sit down.

Try to make a compromise with them and show them you are mature and serious about all this. That you are willing to take on extra responsibilities to help.

It took my dad a while to appreciate my riding lessons. My first barn was 35-40 min away but I only went in the summer twice a week because my dad had 5 weeks off. No way my parents were willing to drive down there every weekend during the school year, so I had to content myself with riding in the summer only.
Then I found a place right under my nose practically (15minutes). I started riding all year then but still not quite regularly. I'd stop in December, January and February, only starting again it back in March going every 2 weeks.

Now I still don't go every week because I pay myself (so limited funds), and I'm really busy with school. But around my final years of high school, I realized riding really helped me concentrate and I got better grades. I told my dad that, but he didn't believe me... until the report cards started coming. :wink:

It's important to do physical activities for our mind and body, so if the only way you can ride often is if you change barns, I'd seriously suggest you think about it and start browsing the Internet. I know you love your lease, but if you can't ride him often enough, there's little point in showing him because you need practice. :-|

When I was at my first barn, I didn't want to change for a while because I thought there was nothing closer or better. Well I dag so deep I ended up realizing there were tons of barns all around me. I just had to look. And if some don't' have a website, call them anyways. The barn I am at now is amazing, but I put off visiting it for a while because they didn't have a website I could look at. Now I know why. They are so amazing they don't need to advertise. Word of mouth is good enough for them.

Sorry for the book, I hope some of this helped.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

When we moved to a large city when I was an early teen I lived on my bike. No money for transit and it was a long walk from the end of the bus route to the stable. My bike was equipped for night riding with a headlight and tail light and lots of reflector tape.


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