# Horse-Human Bonding



## Tuffy'sTreatMan (Sep 29, 2008)

What factors make one horse bond to a person, while another horse stays somewhat aloft and indifferent? Why can an indifferent horse be very well trained, but never really give its heart? 

I believe my horse Tuffy loves me …. 
I think I might have been the first human he ever bonded to, and I wonder if there lays the answer? 

Do some horses harden their hearts due to having loved and lost? Or are some horses just not interested in loving a human? I wonder if a horse, for instance, that once loved a little girl who once loved him, gets heart broke when sold and rejected? 

Respectfully, what are your experiences with this?



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## appylover31803 (Sep 18, 2007)

I currently have a horse who was loved by a little girl for about 7-8 years. She had moved and her horse was left behind. When I saw him, he looked so lost and just wanted another human. I bought him and now we have an amazing bond. And that was a little over a week ago!

My mare is a horse that will love a human but it has to be the right kind of human. I was not her match, and she made it clear to me. Not in an aggressive way, but the way that we would take 1 step forward, 5 steps back. Then my fiance rode her/started spending time with her, and she's a different horse!
While she still isn't all lovey dovey with humans, she definitely has a better bond with my fiance than with myself.

My other gelding, was most likely abused and neglected to some extend. It took us a while for him to even gain our trust and be calm and relaxed in his stall. Now that we've had him for almost 1 1/2 years, he's a different horse. He'll love on you, come up to you, put his head in your chest so you can hold him, and he's a love bug to everyone! But he also changed a lot since we moved him out of our old barn.

From what I've found, each horse along with each experience/history each horse has will affect how he/she feels about having a relationship with a human. I feel the horses that were either lost (as in they lost their #1 human) and those who were abused/neglected will give you their hearts to try and please you. But there are always exceptions to that.


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## Dumas'_Grrrl (Apr 2, 2008)

I believe that horses are complex animals and that they have personalities that either tend to endear them to humans, to fear humans, to "work" for humans or to truly love them. 

Just as you and I may never bond, it is possible for you to bond tightly with someone else.

I think that horse ownership is more than just owning them, I believe it is a partnership and not every horse and human will achieve the same level.

I think that as humans we are capable of understanding and have a responsibility to change and discover what is needed of us to achieve the best bond we are capable of. We are after all the "smartest" animal. We need to keep in mind that smarter doesn't mean better. It just means that we are the ones responsible for relationship management.


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## my2geldings (Feb 18, 2008)

That is why I love raising my own horses. I have been the only to work with them from the start and it's to me they come. We have excellent horse/human appreciation and tho we tend to have our own thoughts from day to day, the bond I have with them will never be the same as one I would ever get from a horse I have bought (those can be good, but not the same).

Those who are or have raised their own horses know what I mean.


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## Pinto Pony (Jul 28, 2008)

All my ponies have a rather special bond with my mum, I think mainly cause she is the Food Bringer haha. 

On a more serious note...

I think all riders/handlers of horses who are training/competing need some sort of bond that grows from trust and respect. I think humans need to earn it from horses and horses need to earn it from us, treat each other as equals. If we are always in control we will lose the respect of our horse and they won't work with us and start to work against us. So A good balance of work, rest and play is essential to earn the trust and respect of each other 

My boy Kai and I have had ups and downs with our trust of each other, at the moment I believe it is at a peak, we are working so well together and our trust is just growing and so are the number of blue ribbons 

But there have been times when I have been unwell due to my allegies of horses and I didn't ride for about 2 years. Kai lost all trust with me over that time as I got caught up in other things including school, friends and boys. When I started riding again, I felt that Kai and I had lost our connection, I think I took him for granted over that time, and I have been working hard to get it back. Also after traveling overseas for months at a time I have always been so nervous to come back to him, but we are definitely in a peak because I feel I still have his respect when I come back to him  I have owned him for almost 13 years now


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## iridehorses (Oct 22, 2007)

Dumas and others put it very well.

I have a mare that bonded with me to the exclusion of everyone else. After a lot of "begging" I sold her to a friend of mine but she is still boarded at my farm. She has a reputation of being a little rank - something I didn't know when I traded for her. To make a long story short, she has never taken a bad step with me but has bucked and carried on with her new owner until I ride her. She regularly chases off my gelding if I show him too much attention.

On the other hand my gelding is OK but we just haven't developed the same bond. Maybe after the mare leaves the farm in another week or so.


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## palogal (May 30, 2008)

Just like some people like crowds and some prefer to be alone, horses have similar traits. Some horses do not need and are happy without human company. Others are not and seek out human companionship. A horse can be perfectly respectful but still not need human contact.


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## FGRanch (Feb 9, 2008)

I agree 100% with M2G (I don't get that name because you have on gelding and one mare..) But anyways, I find horses are way different when you raise them. I love and treat all my horses equally but the ones that I have had since day one are much more bonded to me.


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## azarni (Aug 17, 2008)

I read a book called 
 "Ride the Right Horse: Understanding the Core Equine Personalities and How to Work with Them"  by Yvonne Barteau.

http://www.amazon.ca/Ride-Right-Hor...4155221?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1223173431&sr=1-1


According to the book:
Social horses are the ones always staring over the stall door that have to be a part of everything. They are one of the easier horses to train, but are easily distracted while being ridden. They bond with many individuals, whether human or horse.

Aloof horses are the "anti-socials", and often stand in the back of their stalls. They rarely bond with other horses and humans, and are usually by themselves in the pasture. They tend to tune things out/ignore aids while being ridden.

Fearful horses are just that; they are startled easily and look to others for support. They like a constant schedule and require a patient, quiet rider. They tend to bond strongly with only one or two people/horses.

Challenging horses love to be on top, and are always pushing the boundaries. The key thing with them is to make sure that they respect you. Otherwise they will find any and every way to take advantage of the inexperienced/fearful rider and exploit the rider's weaknesses. However, they're very competitive and excel in many disciplines with the right handler.

There can also be different combinations of personalities, like aloof-fearful, social-challenging, challenging-aloof, etc. etc.

It was a great read, and it really made me think. It definately makes sense about how different horses bond with people, while others don't.


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## my2geldings (Feb 18, 2008)

FehrGroundRanch said:


> I agree 100% with M2G (I don't get that name because you have on gelding and one mare..) But anyways, I find horses are way different when you raise them. I love and treat all my horses equally but the ones that I have had since day one are much more bonded to me.


I know eh. When I first started out on this site tho, I did have 2 geldings and a mare. I should look into a name change huh :lol:


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## Jdun722 (Dec 27, 2008)

When they trust you, then you will have a bond. You know they trust you when they follow you around or when they get scared they will look to you to see your expression, and how you react to the situation will rub off on them. Spending lots of time with them will improve your trust with them and their trust with you and a good way to build their trust in you is by leading them into new areas and when they begin to get scared you need to be the one to comfort them. Then once they have calmed down they can realize that you will help them through "scary" :shock: situations .


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## aerobicv (Dec 27, 2008)

*Keeping dominate?*

I've read that horses will continually challenge you to be the dominate one. If you bond with a horse do you find that is true? My dad had a horse from the time it was one year old, never lunged or round penned it and it was a wonderful horse. It didn't seem like he was continually challenging my dad.
We have had a horse for 2 months now and it just makes me wonder if it's a constant challenge. He seems to be a social horse, always sticking his head out and waiting for someone to visit him. But as another person said he does get distracted a lot!
I hope that we can build that bond with him. He is so sweet!


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## Jdun722 (Dec 27, 2008)

aerobicv said:


> I've read that horses will continually challenge you to be the dominate one. If you bond with a horse do you find that is true? My dad had a horse from the time it was one year old, never lunged or round penned it and it was a wonderful horse. It didn't seem like he was continually challenging my dad.
> We have had a horse for 2 months now and it just makes me wonder if it's a constant challenge. He seems to be a social horse, always sticking his head out and waiting for someone to visit him. But as another person said he does get distracted a lot!
> I hope that we can build that bond with him. He is so sweet!


I don't think it's a challenging trouble at all. Once a horse trusts you he will understand you are the dominant and look to you for advice, not much to be bossed around, but kind of like him asking you for advice.


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## GottaRide (Dec 10, 2007)

Horses don't love. They don't give their heart away. They don't get broken hearts. 

Horses "bond" to humans who show equine leadership characteristics. The strong a person is as a leader to their horse, the stronger the "bond" of that horse is to its human. 

If you feel you are having a problem bonding with your horse, it's up to you to change your leadership abilities. Become more of a leader for your horse. Use your actions and body language to simulate the actions of a lead mare in a herd. Watch how his actions and body language change as you become a stronger leader for him. 

All horses are looking for leadership, even the most dominate ones. A human needs to be able to recognize the differences between horses and change their leadership accordingly. 

If you are really interested in this stuff, check out a fellow by the name of Marv Walker. Visit his website and request The Bonder via e-mail, then order one of his dvds.


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## Jdun722 (Dec 27, 2008)

GottaRide said:


> Horses don't love. They don't give their heart away. They don't get broken hearts.
> 
> Horses "bond" to humans who show equine leadership characteristics. The strong a person is as a leader to their horse, the stronger the "bond" of that horse is to its human.
> 
> ...


I disagree. I know many horses who would give their hearts out for humans they trust.


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## GottaRide (Dec 10, 2007)

Jdun722 said:


> I disagree. I know many horses who would give their hearts out for humans they trust.


You are giving human emotions to an animal that cannot possibly feel the same things as a human can. To us as humans, we see that the horse is giving his all for a human and the only way we can identify with it, or describe it, is to match it to an emotion that we can feel. Horses do not feel things the same way as we do. Their brains are not as developed as a human's brain.


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## LadyAshen (Dec 20, 2008)

Maybe their brains aren't like ours, but I beg to differ with you.

Horses can love and care for their humans. I have seen it and experienced it. My pony was my babysitter as a child. He saw to it that nothing happened to me, and was patient and kind.


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## Snowyowl (Dec 6, 2008)

*bond*

*All my horses like people. When you go out to the pasture they come up to you.My palomino always leaves the herd to come to me. I don't feed treats either. I think it despends on how the horse was raised. I had a boarded horse that did not care for people. When ridden she did her job and then it was like ok leave me alone know. The girl thinks the horse loves her. Why does the horse run from her when she comes out then? And why did the horse attack her and bite her in the neck at a horse show? The horses last owner was kinda harsh with his training so I think she runs fast cause it was drilled into her to do that or else. On a possitive side my daughters horse likes to play games. When it come to getting caught she runs a circle around you and you have to cut her like cutting a cow. Then she lets you catch her and she all lovey to my daughter. The last game show we went to they did a jump and the horse jumped a whole stride before the jump. She should of knocked the jump but that horse did everthing in her power not to knock. My daughter got a first place in that event. I have two of my horses that I think I have a bond with. My Palomino and my yearling paint. *


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## RoostersMom (Nov 19, 2008)

I have a 20+ year old horse named Rooster (pictured here with me). I remember vividly the day I met him. I had come to look at him and I rode him for a couple of hours. Then I groomed him, gave him treats and put him back in his paddock. As I went to get into my car and leave (not sure that I was going to buy him), I heard the sweetest nicker coming from his direction. He was standing at the gate and saying goodbye to me. It was love from then on. I bought him and have had such a wonderful bond with him ever since. For example, today when I walked out into his paddock, he was laying down and soaking up the warm sun. I laid down in the grass with him and we looked eye-ball to eye-ball at each other for 20 minutes. I just told my old friend how much I loved him and stroked his face and I swear the horse was smiling back at me.
He is such a love I don't know what I'd ever do without him.


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## toosexy4myspotz (Oct 7, 2007)

I personally think it is the handler way of being or how they work with the horse. I bought Poco when he was 5 years old and he was known as "stupid", "lost minded", "stubburn", and just all around difficult to work with. I took the time to figure out more about him. Just sit around watch him and see how he works and how he manages himself. When I bought him he was a very mellow horse with a very laid back personality and didnt really "click" with his past two owners. I fell in love with him immediately and worked very hard each day to figure out how I could win him over in a way that he understood. Now, he is my baby. Pride and joy and everything in this world that I look forward to. Hes a lovely mount and does everything with pride and is an all around joy to be with. I do believe that you can own two horses and have two totally different ways of training thim but still be able to carry that bond. I also believe that each horse bonds differently, some undersaddle, some on the ground, and some that you just have to work your tail off with for them to be able to come to you. My first horse was a different story she only wanted to go run cattle and barrel race. She was very distant from me and that was hard. I thought riding was everything at that time and it wasnt. It just seperated our bond. I finally started doing tons of ground work with her and lots and lots of grooming and I finally realized what it was like to have a horse that wanted to be with you.


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## toosexy4myspotz (Oct 7, 2007)

GottaRide said:


> You are giving human emotions to an animal that cannot possibly feel the same things as a human can. To us as humans, we see that the horse is giving his all for a human and the only way we can identify with it, or describe it, is to match it to an emotion that we can feel. Horses do not feel things the same way as we do. Their brains are not as developed as a human's brain.


 
So that is like saying saying that if two horses are together for their entire life and then one passes they wont morn???? I completely disagree. Or saying that a horse is 25 years old and had an extremely strong bond with that owner and the horse is sold or the owner passes...they dont morn??? They dont miss that??? Yes, I have to say I completely disagree with that concept. Thats just like a dog loosing another dog that was a close companion they morn, they greive, just like people do. I do believe that animals feel and that they do have hearts just as we humans do.


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## LadyAshen (Dec 20, 2008)

I watched my mare grieve for the humongous Belgian mare that was her constant companion, when the Belgian left. 

It was pitiful, my mare called and called for her friend for a long time. She would run along the fence calling her for weeks afterward. Don't tell me horses don't feel emotions.


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## minihorse927 (Aug 11, 2008)

Like Cache said, a horse you raise from a foal has almost like an inseperable bond with their owner most of the time. 
I have this with my mare Whinney. She would be lost if I ever sold her and gets very upset when I go on vacation or to a show and do not take her. 
Buck I had bought, even though I consider him more of a rescue as a yearling. He was so lice infested and so skinny my vet told me he would be lucky to live another week. Once turned around he has become one of the most willing horses I have ever owned. He loves to drive and especially do roadster!
Alli and I have more of the relationship that is, ok, you are my owner and you feed me, so therefore I love you but am not gonna rub and love on you all day. She hates pretty much everyone else, tries to bite and run away from them, so I guess I have a better bond than everyone else!

Brea I think bonds better with MINIATURE SHETLANDS than she does with me. She has bonded well with me, but seems like she had more fun with her.
Micah and I are still working on our bond, he has not been here very long and is young, so he is adjusting.
Lady the mustang is willing to do anything and everthing with me now, when I first brought her home she wanted nothing to do with me and would not be caught in the pasture!

Horses are like people, they like some, love others, and hate a few!
I know which ones I own that bond well with me and which ones have a so so bond. I know the ones who bond better will work better and perform better for you and are generally more willing.


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