# Lacey is gone.



## Wallaby

Last night Lacey began colicking really badly.
She had never shown colic signs before this.

The vet was out fast, but it was bad. We got her all doped up ut her pain level was really high - a 1000lb dose of banamine was only lasting her 2 hours before she was in major pain again. And she's the most stoic horse I've met!

So I sat with her for hours this morning, recounting every adventure we had ever gone on and thanking her for a life well lived. And for how well she took care of me through everything.

Then I did what I had promised her I would do, and we let her go.

The vet, who had just met her last night [our normal vet wasn't able to make it, unfortunately] sobbed through the whole thing. 
Maybe it's terrible, but to see a relative "stranger" be so affected by Lacey, even as Lacey was leaving us.....it was really a microcosm for Lacey's entire life right there.
She touched so many people, taught so many kids to ride and feel safe on a horse's back, she taught ME to feel safe on a horse's back...she was truly one in a bajillion.

And in keeping with her life time of teaching, last night I had to sedate her and, despite my fear of injecting things, I gave her the shot all by myself - on the first try.
I just don't know what I'm going to do without her. I haven't gone a day in 3 years where I didn't see her at least twice a day...

The vet said it was one of the most peaceful and ready passings she had seen. 
Lacey just laid right down and was gone. 
But she's not really gone, I can still feel her. Maybe I will always feel her, that would be good.

Run free, sweet girl.
Go be the sassiest Unicorn heaven has to offer.
Go see your friends, I'll see you in a while.


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## tinyliny

The loss is all the harder for those that love powerfully. 

What a wonderful journey you've had, and thank you for sharing it with us, step by step, day by day, inspiration filled and image rich.
We are honored.


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## Corporal

You couldn't buy another Lacey--good girls like that are worth a fortune. I am so sorry for your loss, but she isn't in pain, anymore. **hugs and prayers for your comfort**


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## Sharpie

You will be in my thoughts. A relationship like the two of you had changes your life.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Roperchick

I said it on FB, on your journal and here. I am so so so sorry. She was the classiest Arab I'd ever met haha. ((((Hugs))). I'm just a message away if you need to talk chica.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## barrelracer892

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've enjoyed reading your posts of her for the past few years. She was certainly one in a million.


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## SouthernTrails

.

So sorry for the loss :-(

.


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## Endiku

She really and truly was one of those horses that wasn't just a horse. Even here, in Texas, thousands of miles away from you, after never even meeting her...I feel her loss. I think Lacey was one of those pieces of heaven that are given to us so that we can learn, and through YOU, we were all blessed by her. 

Again, you are absolutely amazing. I only hope that when the time comes for my animals to go, I can display even half of the true love that you did. Yes, Lacey will ALWAYS be with you. Always be a part of you. Her legacy will extend far because she was just that amazing. And who knows? Maybe God will even give her special welcoming privileges for those who are coming through to heaven...you know. Official welcoming unicorn. I think it sounds like a very noble, Lacey-type position.


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## CLaPorte432

Oh no!!! I am so sorry to hear this. You are an incredible person and gave Lacey so many wonderful years. I am even crying looking at her pictures.

Lacey will always be with you. Never think otherwise.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Paradise

"Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened"

I have always lived my life believing everything happens for a reason, that everything leads to something else. Unfortunately, when you lose someone thag was such a huge part of your life this doesn't always seem true.

In a way it's like. ..its not that she passed for a reason, but it's almost like her time was done. If you're religious at all you can think of it like God gave her to you for a reason, he gave her to you because he knew you would be the best thing for one another. He trusted you with her safe keeping. ..until it was time for her to go.

Sorry for rambling.. Rest in paradise sweet old woman!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FlyGap

I'm so so sorry Wallaby! Thank you for sharing all that you've learned from her, the breathtaking photos, the love you had for the INCREDIBLY special Lacey... 

Huge hugs to you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Saranda

Oh no... I am so very sorry. Lacey was and IS such a special horse and your relationship is sacred. I am very sure that she will be watching over you until you both meet once more in a lovely, sunny place where those who share true love meet to never part again. Hugs.


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## oobiedoo

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing her with us in your stories and photos. You'll never know how many smiles you have given me and others here.
Give Atti and Hazel lots of hugs, I'm sure they're missing their friend too. Lacey touched many lives, thank you for sharing her with us.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## OutOfTheLoop

I don't post alot, but I read just about everything. Ive read moat of your post about lacey, and I know she was well loved. My heart breaks for you and lacey. Virtual hugs are in order here. RiP Lacey.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NorthernMama

So sorry for your loss.


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## Poseidon

I'm sorry, Emily. I saw your status last night about her colicking, which worried me. At least she passed peacefully. She lived a long, wonderful life and shared it with not only you, but your coworkers and kids at camp, your lesson kids, and everyone here. She had enough presence to make her loss felt by so many who never actually met her. She'll continue to be fat and sassy.


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## texasgal

So so sorry.. *hug*


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## farmpony84

I'm proud of you for having the strength to make the decision for her. I always say that I will do it when the time comes, but I truly don't know if I have the courage. I'm sorry for the pain and sorrow you will have to go through but in time the pain will ease and the sweet, sweet memories will come.


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## Northernstar

Tears are falling as I just read this- I'm so very sorry you lost your beautiful Lacey. I won't even pretend to know what it's like, but I know my sweet mares won't live forever either. Despite your grief, I'm so glad that you have years of cherished memories that will anchor you. Prayers for comfort during this time.


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## Allison Finch

My stomach just fell out of my body.....You did your best and gave her a dignified exit. That's what we owe our equine friends.

Can you give a brief synopsis of Lacy's story? I knew a small grey arab named Lacey that I lost track of in NC years ago. How old was your Lacy? What were her origins?


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## EquineObsessed

So sorry to hear about Lacey. I've enjoyed keeping up with your adventures, and I'm glad you two cherished the time you had together.


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## Wallaby

I'm just so overwhelmed by the outpouring of sadness and support I've received from everyone.
I never had any idea of just how many lives she touched. I'm so grateful that I got the time I got with her. 

And I really appreciate all your condolences.

The goats are not sure what to think. Hazel is "ok" but very spooky about everything. Atti is constantly calling for her and, when I let them out to "say goodbye," he went running all over the pasture calling. Then he sniffed her body and continued to look for her with a lot less intensity - still baahing. Poor little man. Lacey was his greatest friend.

Lacey was buried in her pasture, down in the most peaceful and wildlife-frequented spot. 
The grass grows long there and there's a cool breeze that goes through in the summer. In the winter, it's sheltered from the strongest winds and it's where the deer always like to nap. It's a good place.

A friend of mine shared this photo with me of Lacey from the summer before last summer. I had never seen it before, she hadn't either. She just happened to discover a batch of undiscovered Lacey pictures on her laptop this morning.
I love this one.












Allison Finch said:


> Can you give a brief synopsis of Lacy's story? I knew a small grey arab named Lacey that I lost track of in NC years ago. How old was your Lacy? What were her origins?


Ha, brief.
I'll try? :lol:

Lacey just turned 29 on February 15th. 
That wasn't her "real" birthday, but she's so opinionated, you KNOW she probably got her owner's hopes up about a Feb 14 baby. Just to spite them. :lol:

Her past before I got her is murky.
She was given to me when she was 23 = a lot of backstory.

From what I know, she had the same owner [in Oregon] her entire life - until she was 23. 
They bred her "special" as their lifetime horse.
However, she turned out to be more of a handful than they anticipated.
She did quite a bit of mountain trail riding as a youngster and it showed - she knew her body well and she was as bombproof as you could get. I never fell off of her back, even though I should have multiple times. 

Then, when she was about ten, her owner's teenage son took her out alone, in the rain, and tried to ride through the neighborhood on the asphalt road.
She was absolutely not about that - she reared over backwards on the kid, broke his legs, and messed her own hind legs up. She had the scars.
After that, she was retired to pasture-puff-life because she was "dangerous."

Fast forward 13 years, her owners were getting a divorce and needed to sell the horses.
Lacey was "dangerous" so an appointment was made to have her put down, with the only caveat being if someone was found who could "handle" her.

A mutual friend, who had been instructing me about horses, knew of this and knew that I loved Arabs so she offered to care for Lacey for a year on her property if I would train and work with Lacey. At the end of the year, if I wanted, I could accept full ownership of Lacey.

Of course, being a naive 16 year old, I was all about this.

The first time I saw Lacey, she was trotting the perimeter her pasture [so fat she had to stop and cough every couple of steps, but "who cares! There are new people!!"], in the deepest part of "Golden Hour," when everything looked as though it was on fire or made of gold.
My first thought was "HOLY CRAP. That's a UNICORN!"

I got her out of the pasture and began grooming her. And she WAS sassy as all get out.

But, as I was working on her, I heard Lacey's owner say to our mutual friend "this girl is the one. Lacey's girl."

And she was.

Her old owner's last words to me were "watch out, Lacey's always been kind of 'up.'"

And then that woman disappeared. Literally fell off the face of the planet.

Lacey WAS "up." But it was "up" as in "I don't suffer fools gladly"-"up."

I remember the first few times I rode her. I was TERRIFIED. 
You would get on and she'd start bucking and rearing around..never enough to actually make you fall off, but just enough to make you decide you should get off. 
She was a genius. 

Anyway, it took a few years, but we finally worked through that. 

Then I discovered she LOVED kids and she got her "new" job of teaching kids how to ride. 
She LIVED for that job. If there was ever a horse that was meant to be a lesson horse, it was Lacey. 
She had just enough spunk to "encourage" correct horsemanship from her more advanced kids, but she felt so safe that even terrified kids could learn to love riding.

She went mostly blind about 2 years ago but that didn't slow her down at all. 
No one could ever believe that they were looking at a legally blind, 29 year old, horse when they looked at her.

She was that amazing.

Oh my gosh. I love this horse.


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## Lockwood

[[[ Hugs]]] for you, Attie, and Hazel.
:hug:

*grabs tissue*


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## cakemom

There is a new unicorn in the clouds tonight. 
Sarah and I neither have the words that would comfort you but we send love and prayers. I just can't imagine a day without a Lacey story.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## quinn

So sorry for your loss. Just reading this thread made me tear up so I can only imagine how you're feeling.
Sending kind thoughts and prayers.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MyFillyAspen

Oh Wallaby, I am so so sorry to see this -seeing this thread amongst the new posts my heart missed a beat, we all know how precious dear old silly Lacey was. We've just lost one of the most loved horses of HF, and for Wallaby, a very special friend. 

RIP Lacey you beautiful sassy lady.


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## Chevaux

I am so very sorry to hear this Wallaby. I felt as if I knew Lacey personally -- I am in tears. I know this is a very sad time for you but for Lacey she couldn't have been in a better place and with a better family when her time came to pass on.


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## waresbear

Another noble steed joins the great herd to gallop through the clouds.....Condolences for your loss.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Roperchick

She's undoubtedly up there sassing all the other HoFo friends thatve been lost including my two babies. 

Thanks for sharing her story girlie. I'm here if you need a person to talk to
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## frlsgirl

So sorry for your loss
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

Oh my,I am so so sorry.

Fun free, grand old lady, and look for my special Arabian unicorn up there.......


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## 6gun Kid

i'm sorry for your loss, that truly sucks. Just take comfort in the fact that you did the right thing for your horse. The right decisions in life are, unfortunately, often the hardest ones.


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## gunslinger

For you, from the words of Soloman.

*Ecclesiastes 3 *

3 
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?

10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.

13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.

14 I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.

15 *That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past.*


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## Cacowgirl

I felt awful seeing the colic thread-then this morning seeing this thread. I was going "Oh, No, Oh, No". I so loved reading the Lacey adventures-you are a very good writer. So many of us were caught up in your adventures. My shirt is splashed w/tears & I send you prayers & hugs. So glad she is still in the pasture & you have a "Lacey" spot to visit. You gave her such a good life & all the love a horse could ever want. RIP Noble Lacey.


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## jaydee

I am so sorry to hear about this, my thoughts are with you.
I will say to you what was written by our lovely vets to us when we were going through a similar thing not too long ago with one of our treasured animals
'She knew love because of you'


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## Wallaby

Thank you, you guys. :hug:

I just can't hardly believe it. I mean, I knew that this was probably going to happen one day [being older, and a gray horse....I always knew that I was going to be her last owner and I figured she would probably go due to a colic] but this was such a shock. 
She was giving a lesson Wednesday afternoon, and colicking less that 24 hours later.

Such a shock.
I'm just glad that she went quickly. 

And you guys were right - I had always worried about how I would "know" when it was time, and yesterday I knew. 
You guys had always reassured me that she would "tell" me and I would "know". I had _hoped _that would be true but I kinda figured y'all were telling me half-true things to make me worry less. 
But yesterday she DID tell me and I did know.

The property owners offered to have a grave-plaque made for Lacey's grave and brought me a card. SO SWEET.

The goats and I looked at her grave together this morning. Atticus thoroughly sniffed the whole thing, while calling for her. Watching him grieve is so sweet and so sad. He misses his "mom."

Her pasture feels so empty without her. So so empty. Like its purpose is gone.
I'm sure a new purpose will be found but right now....

Also, I just have to show you guys this. 
Yesterday it was raining so hard. Big, get-everything-soaked, raindrops. Then, right before sunset, there was a break in the rain and a double rainbow appeared. 
I was so touched by what my friends had to say: [click it for a bigger picture]


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## CLaPorte432

Wow. That is awesome. ^^^
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SammysMom

Emily, I know nothing can compare to your baby girl, but you are welcome to ride my boy any time you need a fix or want to play with a horse with some sass


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## Northernstar

Keep that photo and name it, "Lacey's Rainbow"..... What a tribute to her 

* O.K., now I'm crying again


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## aerie

I am so so sorry for your loss Wallaby, I am in front of my computer miles away from you crying  I always read your journal, but have never commented and have thoroughly enjoyed your writing and your adventures. I am actually pretty sure that your journal was one of the first threads I came across that made me want to join HF. Tons of prayers and hugs sent your way, and know Lacy will always, always be with you. She is your Guardian Unicorn <3


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## egrogan

Goodbye beautiful girl! Thanks for sharing your stories with us.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## trailhorserider

Wallaby, I am so saddened by Lacey's passing. She was one of those constant fixtures here on the forum and there will be a huge hole without her. 

I have lost several horses to colic over the years, most recently the most special horse I have ever owned, my Mustang John, passed away this past November. He was so sick and it was so sudden, he was fine one day and died before the vet could arrive the next. In many ways, I feel John made it easy for me that he died so quick and Lacey did the same thing with you. I have had other horses linger on for days and you finally have to make that difficult decision, but with both John and Lacey, even in death, they made things easier for us. They didn't want us to have to question weather we made the right decision or not so they helped make it for us.

Lacey touched so many lives, even on this forum we feel like we knew her even though we never met her in person. She was one of the special ones that God allows us to share our lives with. She was a blessing and you were blessed to have her in your life.


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## anndankev

My condolences for your loss, I'm so sorry.


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## Wild Heart

Oh my gosh. My heart just dropped...

Wallaby, I am incredibly sorry for your loss. Lacey was a beautiful mare who touched the hearts of everyone who met her. She was a little unicorn on earth.

I want to thank you for putting us in the passenger seat of her life. I always looked forward to "Lacey Time", seeing beautiful photos and reading her fun stories.

Rest in Peace, Miss Lacey.


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## Jessabel

Oh, Wallaby.  I'm a million miles away, and you've got me in tears, girl!

Lacey was one of the luckiest critters on the planet. You made the last years of her life absolutely beautiful, and I have no doubt that her time with you made up for all those years with less-than-ideal owners. It's obvious in the pictures how happy and full of life she was. She met a peaceful, dignified end in her own home with her best friend by her side. I can't think of a better way to go.

And when you have that kind of bond with something, human or animal, they never leave you. Sending you lots of hugs and healing vibes. :hug:


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## SueC

Hi Wallaby, that looks very like an Arabian...was she?

I really get how you feel. Today I had to make the decision to put down my Arabian mare. She was a lovely grey like yours, and was with me for 31 of her 32 years, ever since childhood, so she was my best friend growing up. My mare was just getting another illness after not quite recovering from a previous one, and I wasn't prepared to put her through increasing pain plus painful treatment, for a very small chance of survival. That she was old didn't make it any easier. I loved that mare. Best wishes to you, Wallaby. I'm sure you too wish you'd had a magic wand... :-(


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## Wallaby

SueC, she was. She's wasn't registered and only her dad is known, so she might have been only part-bred. [my gut says she was full, especially since she was bred in the 1980's when Arabs were "the thing", but who really knows]
Her dad's pedigree was chock full of old Polish "royalty" and other fun nuggets - she had a desert-bred Arab in there named "Bad" and her great-great-great grandfather was double registered as an Arabian first, then as a Tennessee Walker because of his natural gaits!

I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug: The thing that's making it easier for me is that Lacey had many chronic illnesses [ERU (Moon Blindness), some arthritis/suspected ringbone, Insulin Resistance, allergies, etc] and, even though she had a wonderful attitude allllll the time+was comfortable, it's so nice to know that she's no longer in any pain at all. And she no longer needs a grazing muzzle!
She's eating whatever she wants and waiting for me to get up there in however many years I have. 

And you know, this is a super sappy story so prepare yourself, when I was about 3 and on, my "imaginary friend" was a fleabitten gray Arabian mare.
She inhabited every bit of my make-believe everything. When my brother and I would play imaginary games, I was ALWAYS this horse. She was in my dreams and comforted me when I was sad.
Logically I knew this imaginary horse couldn't ever be real, but a big part of me hoped so much that she would be real.

Then I met Lacey and, after our first year together, I remembered this dream horse of mine. Everything about Lacey and this dream horse matched up. 

Now I don't know if it's just a coincidence, but I think Lacey was part of my life for significantly longer than she as physically in my life.

And SueC, I think it's probably the same now. Our girls are physically gone from us, but they are 100% real and here in our hearts and minds. They aren't going to leave us completely...after all, they spent too much time training us!! :wink: :hug:


Lacey's rainbows have been everywhere still. Yesterday morning, around the time she passed away a week ago, I was up feeding the goats and the clouds opened to reveal a HUGE rainbow. 
I don't even understand it. 
I love that horse.


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## SueC

Hey Wallaby, thanks for those thoughts. :hug: Colic is an awful thing, I've seen it too many times in the 30-odd years since my family of origin got involved with horses, including fatal colics. Only one of my family's horses ever went peacefully, in her sleep aged 26. Two other old ones just got so debilitated they couldn't get up one day, and had to be put down. Another old mare, my Romeo's full sister Juliet, had gotten to about my mare's stage of losing weight because of illness and only just keeping her head above water on round-the-clock special feeding, when she twisted her bowel.

My mare had a hoof abscess late last year, which my vet misdiagnosed as a slipped stifle. She had no temperature, so he thought no infection. I still thought it was an abscess. Three days later it burst through the coronet. The flesh was just melting off her, and she'd always been a good doer. We struggled for months with huge hard feeds to try to get her weight back. She got really bad rain scald all over her in the middle of the summer drought because she was so run down. Her foot was healing up and her skin clearing, and she was just starting to fill out again when she developed intermittent cramping, where she'd stand arching her back, a couple of days ago. I didn't like the look of it and called the vet. Again, no temperature, and she was cleaning up every last bit of food in her bucket and passing manure normally. The vet thought it was a reaction to worming because of her age, and gave her a 24h pain killer. But something just didn't sit right with me about the whole thing. She'd never reacted to wormers before.

When she came off the pain killer symptoms returned. I actually got the feeling she'd had enough. She was swinging between cramping and grazing quite normally, but looked so tired. So I went and saw my neighbour, and we put her down and buried her before I could change my mind. This wasn't going to get better, she didn't have enough left in her for it to be fair to ask her to fight again.

Interestingly, she did have an undiagnosed infection, despite lack of fever. When we hoisted her for burial, pus started draining out of her - either a bladder infection or a uterine infection, but no discharge while alive. That explained the colicky symptoms but still eating and passing manure.

Sorry if I've grossed you out. :-( I'm just glad she still had bits of her day that were okay-ish today. And I gave her some figs when I said goodbye, she loved figs (and sultanas, and dates, and carrots, and apples...). I'm also glad she was spared getting worse and worse and feeling lousier and lousier. She was still bright-eyed and had a bit of spark, but she went down without even a kick at the end, under her favourite tree and with her friends nearby.


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## SueC

PS: My mare too had Polish blood (whole maternal side) as well as Crabbet and DB. I'm quite new to the forum - how long did you have your Lacey?


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## SueC

Hi again Wallaby, a friend just sent me this and I thought you might like it too:

A Prayer For A Friend:
Never think of me as dead,
For I have but gone on ahead.
And the love you gave me I will have through all eternity.
Keep me always in your mind,
By loving others of my kind.
Do not linger long in your grief, 
But carry on in this belief,
That when it´s time for you to come this way,
I will be waiting for you on that day.


It's very like what you said. And that did it, now my eyes are turning into taps.


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## Wallaby

Aww! That's such a sweet poem. Very apropos. 
That's so hard with your girl. I'm so sorry it went like that. But it sounds like you made the right choice for her and not every "pet"/friend is as lucky, I think. 
:hug: :hug:

Lacey was mine for 5 years and 8 months. I would have loved another 5, or even 10, years...but it was her time.


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## SueC

I read that in your intermediate page posts afterwards too. I love the photos of your horse, they are so superbly done. That one of her in the red rug, it's an excellent landscape composition with a horse in it at just the right place and a great camera angle, and gorgeous colours. The others too... lovely...


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## Shropshirerosie

I'm so sorry, I only just saw this. Deep sympathies from me and all my furry ones here.


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## RedTree

So sorry for your loss, I loved seeing Lacey updates, the relationship that you to had was amazing.

I think the whole HF community will mourn her loss.


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## Foxtail Ranch

Wallaby, I just saw this thread and I am so sorry for your loss. Oregon lost an amazing horse and so did HF.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## SueC

I found another beautiful poem.

*Don’t Cry For Me*

Don't cry for me now I have died
For I'm still here, I'm by your side
My body's gone but my soul is here
Please don't shed another tear
I am still here, I'm all around
Only my body lies in the ground.
I am the snowflake that kisses your nose
I am the frost that nips your toes
I am the sun, bringing you light
I am the star, shining so bright
I am the rain, refreshing the earth
I am the laughter, I am the mirth
I am the bird up in the sky
I am the cloud that's drifting by
I am the thoughts inside your head
While I'm still there, I can't be dead.

_Author unknown_


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