# Loving the Lame Horse



## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

chapter one​


I've been wanting to start a journal since seeing everybody else's amazing adventures on this wonderful site. I joined originally back in 2015 when I started riding my trainer's horse, Apollo, at my hunter/jumper barn. I had been working as a sales representative at a local retail chain and needed to set different hours for my riding, and this woman was available on Sundays.

He was a quarter horse, well versed in showjumping but performed his best as a hunter. As my trainer's horse, he helped students like me learn advanced skills, courses, and horsemanship lessons. But, like many in my situation, you didn't learn "horsemanship" at barns run primarily by one trainer. No one needed to know how to wrap, treat wounds, test for lameness, or even, frankly, ride. The trainer did all this for you. In high school, I rode at a barn that focused primarily on teaching us youngsters basic independent horsemanship, but that was lost at the show barn.

It was a wonderful place to grow up. The facilities were beautiful. The barn rested on a small plot of land amidst a huge field of strawberry, wine grape, jalapeno, and green pepper fields. The ring was long and rectangular, made of white picket fencing. Ivy strings covered the boards, giving it a more "secret garden" feel. The trainer bought only the best footing for our horses, and we were expected to pick it out of their feet before going back inside (it would later be added back into the ring).

The barn itself was made of pine. One side had large stalls with runs, the other square stalls. Lining the drive way were large turnout pens, about 100 x 100 feet wide. But horses were only allowed 4 hours of turnout at a time, which was very typical of barns in my area. 

Everything was strictly regulated, from what bridle you used to the pads you picked. Every horse had its own saddle and gear. Some had several bridles depending on the level of rider. All of these horses were high-priced, well bred show horses the owners graciously allowed the school to use. The trainer taught students who were interested in leases and showing, and ignored those who weren't. I was in the latter category.

Although I didn't contribute financially to this barn, I did learn a lot about how competitive and, sometimes, unethical the hunter show world can be. I saw things I could never unsee. There were bits used that a barrel racer would shudder at. There were jumping tactics that I'd never witnessed outside of this sport tried. I witnessed my trainer beat a mare who had spun out of a jump so hard I swore there were specks of blood on her flank. But to me, having been in this world since I got into horses, it was normal.

It wouldn't be until I moved to The Pastures that I learned my small A-Circuit world was just that: small. Insignificant. Backwards.

The Pastures (name changed for privacy reasons) was a boarding facility out in what would be considered the Affluent Countryside. Where I live there are a lot of tech companies and people are either very rich or very, very poor. This only is important to know because the Affluent Countryside was primarily owned by one of the biggest and well-known universities on the west coast. They had a TON of land dedicated to agriculture and horses, and this boarding facility rested on a section of that protected land. It bled into the local trail system that led all the way to the university, a good ten miles or so, through the California grasslands and dry, golden hills. 

It was one of the only places in the area that provided adequate pasture boarding. Where I am from, because it is so populated, most barns are on very small plots of land. There is no turnout and certainly no pastures, and you can't have both. A stalled horse is a stalled horse, and a pasture horse roughs it. The fencing is barbed wire, old, and rarely maintained. The pastures themselves are cleaned with bulldozers maybe once a month, if that, and the manure is simply moved to a far corner of the pasture. 

This property looked like it could fall down at a sneeze. The stalls looked slapped together, as if someone threw them up in one night and said "it has four walls and a roof, we're good." They were 12 x 12 box stalls with an attached mare motel run. Each stall had three ply wood walls and a steel roof. Everything was held together with twine, string, or metal cords. The runs were padded with mulch, horse manure, and dirty shavings, but despite the mess, it was a complete DIY expedition. The stall was yours to customize as you saw fit.

I moved to this property because a horse called Jr. needed more under-saddle time. My trainer asked, as I was having difficulty with my barn's management, if I would be interested in moving? We had maxed out the allowed jumping height, and my trainer got in trouble after she snuck a few 3' jumps up for me and Apollo to try. I said yes - I would miss Apollo, but I was excited about trying another horse.

The Pastures definitely couldn't hold a candle to the beautiful countryside show barn. It reeked of manure and urine, the roads were dusty and unpaved, the ground hadn't been leveled in some time, and it was a trek up a steep hill to get to the jumping arena. 

There were three boarding areas. The first, primarily occupied by dressage riders, was at the very base of the barn when you drove in. Those stalls were in better shape, but still could use some help. The lesson school on property took over most of the rentable stalls, the rest owned by serious reiners and dressage riders who rode in our large flatting/dressage arena. They were nice, but expected a certain fluency in riding and good equitation, or else you'd be criticized until the cows came home.

The second level housed mostly trail riders. These people were located at the very top of the hill, overlooking the dressage arena. Most of these riders were newer and very nice, and seemed to find each other due to shared experiences. It was right at the front of our local trail leading to the preserve, which meant several people were in the same vicinity to tack up and go out. By far, the kindest boarders kept their horses in this section.

The third level consisted of eventers and jumpers. The two shed-rows faced each other perpendicular to a huge, but unkept, jumping arena. Unfortunately the footing was less than ideal: deep in some spots and shallow in others, hard at the base of the jump but soft everywhere else. Those serious about competing never used this arena, preferring to trailer ride to the residential horse park for jumping lessons. The rest of us, however, used and abused it.

It was in this section I would be riding Jr., the ex-eventing Morgan gig my trainer got me. He was rather tall, standing at 16 hands. He looked to be a cross between a national show horse and a warmblood, because his head was too large for his body and his cushings, presented by his long hair, showed his age. Even old and arthritic Jr. could JUMP. He had one of the strongest pelhams I'd ever seen: a long-shanked polo pelham with a port for tongue relief. His owner's bit had converters, but when I brought my own tack I used two reins.

Jr. was a beast of a horse. He knew his job, but he was almost impossible to stop. Coming from pokey and slow Apollo, this frightened me terribly. I remember pulling as hard as I could to halt him after a jump and all I could do was run him into the fence. I quickly found myself terrified to go over anything more than a pole, and even then I screamed, terrified Jr. would take off with me the way he had our first lesson.

My confidence shriveled, smaller than an amoeba. I loved to ride, but every challenge was just too much. My trainer tried to ease me back into jumping but crossrails terrified me and poles were a potential bolt waiting to happen. We tried a stronger bit: that did nothing. So I bought the same bit for Jr. with a double rein set up and longer shanks. For some reason, that did help.

The turning point came when my trainer set up a 4 foot crossrail (they aren't that high) and asked me to go over it. I saw the height of the rails and froze. I turned my horse towards it. Jr. started to pick up some speed, locking on with tenacious drive. My body went rigid and I clung to him and closed my eyes, afraid he would launch into outer space like every other time.

But then something happened. Three strides out to the jump everything started to slow down. It felt like we were walking, but Jr. was still cantering. He crawled to a four beat lope, stuck his neck out, and tried to fling himself as flat as he could over the jump so that I wouldn't feel his bascule. At the other end, he broke to a trot and did his best to stay slow and calm. I was amazed. Never in my life had I heard of a horse adjusting themselves for their terrified rider.

That day changed everything. Jr. took every jump at a snail's crawl, his incredible athleticism giving us the ability to get over large oxers and verticals without any speed. Eventually, after I learned his pace and favorite distances, I became comfortable with allowing him to go faster, and soon we were jumping rollbacks, oxers, triple bars, wide spreads, and cross country jumps left in the arena. It was amazing. I felt completely safe on him.

Unfortunately, this fantasy would not last. Frustrated, Jr.'s other leaser called up his owner, telling her I was riding the horse too much and that he would get hurt. I received several angry calls from the owner, telling me that if I wanted to do more with Jr. I needed to pay more or find a different horse.

I cried so hard the day we lost Jr. My trainer could not understand why the owner came down so hard on us. I have since learned my trainer bought Jr., and he is now used as a school horse in her program at another facility.


Because we no longer had a horse and I was finally making money, working as a receptionist at a law firm, my family crunched the numbers and found it was not much more expensive to own a horse than to have leased Jr. They asked me if I would be interested in a horse of my very own, my _first_ horse, and I said yes (who wouldn't?!)

I spent a week searching equinenow.com for leads of horses who potentially had jumping ability. I found a cute bay arab mare, $1200, a good few miles away from my location. Back and forth with the owner revealed she was part of their breeding program, unstarted, but handled and had limited ground work. I knew I wanted young, green, untrained, and athletic, but I didn't know much about horse shopping at all. It was out of our way but I sent a friend up to check the horse out for me.

Unfortunately, we learned this woman steals horses and sells them online. This little mare was one who had been taken from somebody else only to have been flipped for a profit. It was a no-go, but my interest in Arabs angered my trainer. "They're deer jumpers!" she exclaimed. 'No, you want something like a warmblood or a thoroughbred." I paused. "But aren't thoroughbreds crazy?" I was referring to my old school horse, Wesley, an beautiful OTTB who had the heat of a volcano and the speed of a cheetah. He was impossible to slow down, and the only way you could jump him without him bolting off was at an angle.

"Get something that has a few miles of post-track training," she said. So I looked around some more.

I found a horse on facebook. A six year old thoroughbred who had been a barrel racer for the woman selling her. She was advertised as an "advanced ride" with "lots of go" and needed an assertive rider. Perfect, I thought, that's exactly what I was looking for.

I sent the woman an inquiry, and a few minutes later we were talking on the phone. She told me she bought the horse from a woman who had taken her after her racing career ended. She trained the horse in the western discipline, and sold it to the owner as a barrel racing prospect. The woman did not tell me exactly what happened, but she said the horse just "didn't like it" and so she left her out in the pasture with her other mare who had foaled. She had her about a year, the woman told me, and she could trail ride superbly.

The mare looked absolutely darling. She was a cribber, but the woman said it was an insignificant vice. I didn't care too much about vices, training issues, or the like, I just wanted to know if she was sound. "Oh yes!" the seller exclaimed, "she'll pass a vet check! I wouldn't even bother with one, honestly."

That was hopeful. Any money we could save would help us in the long run.

A week later, we drove up to northern california to see the horse, trailer in tow. 

At first, I didn't know what I was looking at. All I saw was a beautiful dark bay thoroughbred mare with the most beautiful star leaning down and eating grass, along with a paint mare and a red roan foal. I haltered the horse up and took her to the fence to get a better look at her. I had no idea what I was doing, but I didn't want this owner to know how inexperienced I was. I picked up both feet, gave them a once over, felt her legs, checked the cadence of her walk, tacked her up and got on.

At first, I couldn't feel much. The ground was so uneven that even if she were lame I would have never known. I walked and trotted her in a circle, got off, and said i'd take her. 'Wait," the owner said, "Let me show you how I RIDE her."

She went to grab her bridle. In our conversations, the seller informed me the horse was ridden in a simple snaffle bit, but what she returned with was a large, full cheek double twisted wire. She grabbed the mare's jaw, cranked it open, and stuffed the bit inside. The she dragged herself up on the skinny horse's back and proceeded to canter her in the smallest circle i'd ever seen, ripping her face around the entire time. The horse looked petrified, eyes white, tail swishing, mouth agape. I asked the woman to get off, I didn't want to see anymore. I knew, in that moment, we needed to get the horse out of there.

The lady promised me the papers of the horse, and I said i wanted to take her on trial. She said that was fine, but that her registration papers burned up in a fire. Luckily, she ordered another set and they would be mailed soon. My parents told her they would give her half the amount up front, and then half should the horse pass a vet check. The woman was not happy, but agreed as it seemed all she wanted was the horse to leave.

We then loaded Tyra up into the trailer. As we pulled away, I heard her pain-filled, confused screams pierce the air. "She's saying 'bye bye! I'll see you later!'" My mom said to me. It was sweet to think, and we hoped this horse knew she had a new home.

It's been almost two years with my thoroughbred and she's changed from the sickly, skinny horse no one thought would survive, into a well-muscled beautiful, athletic creature.

From then


















To now


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

Love your journal! You are a skilled writer. Can't wait to read the next part!


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## JoBlueQuarter (Jan 20, 2017)

Agree with knightrider; you're a good writer! This is an awesome start to your journal, and I can't wait to hear more about y'all!

The pictures of then and now are really cool! Your mare is a gorgeous horse! Good job!


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## Phantomrose (Jul 25, 2016)

You're a very good writer! I love this journal entry, and how it flowed nicely!


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

Thanks for your kind comments everyone! This is a true story, too! ^_^

chapter two​


I compare buying your first horse to having your own child. No one understands them like you do. No one sees their beauty, grace, and majesty like you. No one could ever love them like you ever will.

And when the doctor says, "ma'am, I'm sorry but your baby is not perfect, there are great issues," sometimes the magical moment of cradling your child in your arms deafens the doctor's voice, because all you can see is the little wonder you brought into the world. Nothing is wrong, how could it be?

---

When we brought Tyra home we were met by a small crowd of people interested in seeing the horse I'd bragged about buying. She trailered the entire ride from Northern CA to the Bay Area relatively easy. I went inside the trailer, untied her, and she backed out like it wasn't her first rodeo. I thought, "wow! what a nice thoroughbred! The woman was telling the truth about this horse."

As I grinned and patted my horse's thin neck, I couldn't understand why none of them were smiling.

The first thing we did was put her in quarantine. The Pastures required all new horses to have updated shots and a strangles vaccine, which Tyra did not have. The pen was small with wood chips for bedding and weeds popping up between the splinters. We gave her a few flakes of her old hay combined with her new hay. I stood by the gate of the pen, watching her as she paced and licked her lips, obviously searching for anything familiar. Off in the distance the pasture horses calmly munched on the summer grass, barely interested in the newcomer only a few feet away. Tyra screamed and paced some more before finally settling and taking a bite of her alfalfa.

She was beautiful. She had a streamline body, and her skin was thinly stretched over her bony frame. Her hooves had huge waves and creases in them, but her mane had been oiled and combed by the owner. I put Tyra's cribbing collar on - I thought the collar would curb her cribbing and keep her from colicking. "I'm sorry, girl, I don't want to have to do this but you understand, right?" I said as I slowly approached her.










Her ears went up and she timidly moved away. That's how it was for the first two days. I'd come up to her and she'd cross to the other side of the stall, not letting me near her. She never attacked, never struck out, but would not let me touch or look at her.

While I did eventually get the collar on, I could tell this horse had quite a few trust issues. But I didn't blame her - she was a long way from home in a new and scary place with no one familiar. I spent the rest of the afternoon admiring her, smiling gleefully that I finally had a horse of my very own.

The next day, I called a barefoot trimmer that came recommended to be my a friend I'd made at the Pastures. He once had a farrier service but scaled back to barefoot trimming in an effort to cut out clientelle. When he picked up her hooves, he gave me a serious gaze. "Does this horse eat grain?" 

"No," I told him. "I feed her rice bran and timothy hay pellets." Honestly, I had no idea horses ate grain.

"Well, absolutely no sugar for this horse. No apples, no treats, nothing." He made another face and began trimming. Tyra stood perfectly still. She'd been acting lethargic the entire day, almost too quiet for a thoroughbred.

"Your new horse looks sick," one of the stable hands commented as he walked by us. I blushed, upset, and wrapped my arms around Tyra's neck. She wasn't sick.

She was perfect.

Tyra walked better after the trim. She seemed a bit uneven, but I chocked that up to a rough seven hours in a trailer the night before. The trimmer told me he did "all he could do," collected his money and headed out without another word.










"Have you done a PPE yet?" asked a Boarder who happened to walk past us with a dun mustang.

"No, the owner told me she'd pass."

The woman's eyebrows furrowed. "I recommend you do one... did you buy her outright?"

"No," i said, "she's on a seven day trial."

"I have a vet who can help you." She gave me the name and number of Dr. Zee, a local practitioner who focused on sport horse lameness.









_this image shows how the saddle did not fit, which will be a big problem later on..._

I really didn't want to do a PPE. I called the office and asked for a quote. What they offered was in my price range, so we arranged for a time for Dr. Zee to come down and see my new, perfect horse.

When Dr. Zee arrived to the barn, her attitude was friendly. She shook my hand and introduced herself, asking how she could be of service. I took her to Tyra, who had since been moved to her stall, and told her we needed a strangles vaccine and a PPE.

I still could not understand the serious look that crossed Dr. Zee's face. "How old is she?"

"Six," I answered.

"And how much did you buy her for?"

"She's being sold to me for $2,000, but we gave the owner half of the money. She's on trial, so we will send the rest at the end of the week."

"Hmm..." Dr. Zee didn't say much more. They grabbed my horse's oversized pink halter and stuck the strangles tube up her nose. Unbeknownst to me, but Tyra was too weak and frail to fight back, and it was a in-and-out procedure. 

Dr. Zee then started our PPE. We walked and trotted Tyra on hard gravel. She flexed all four legs. She studied Tyra's fetlocks and hooves. "This one feels swollen to me," Dr. Zee said as she palpated the right front fetlock. "Something just isn't right."

Tyra presented 3/5 lame on the right side, and 2/5 lame on the left. In the arena she was 1/5 lame and 2/5 lame, respectively.

"I think there is something wrong with your horse."

The words were uttered, but I did not process them. They went in one ear and out the other. "No, she's perfect," I repeated. "She's my first horse and she's perfect." The ignorant smile stayed plastered on my face as I stared up at Dr. Zee's sullen expression.

"I recommend x-rays," Is all she said before getting in her car. "I will email you a write up."

I spent the afternoon walking Tyra around the arena. She followed me with a low head and droopy eyes. I patted her softly, scratching her star with my fingers.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed. It was my dad.

"We have to talk about what Dr. Zee said about Tyra," he told me.

"She said she recommended x-rays, but she's perfect so why bother?"

"I think we should do the x-rays." It was strange to hear my dad say that. My parents are homeopathic people. Animal and human medicine alike leaves them highly skeptical. They don't trust doctors or vets.

The next week, Dr. Zee came back with her machine. Tyra was more difficult, and she got scared of the dark stall she was in while the machine roared to life. It took several attempts to subdue her enough for x-rays. They took five images.










Dr. Zee came back and showed me the photos. "There's a fracture here," she said, pointing to the x-ray. "I am afraid this could impact her soundness, especially her suspensories. We don't know if her tendons got caught up in the healing process."

"She also has thin soles," she told me, "and she is going to need shoes for her entire life."

That had my attention, as the goal with Tyra was barefoot, mainly to save money. 

I didn't take what Dr. Zee said to heart. When she packed up her bag, I took Tyra back to her stall and spent the rest of the day grooming her. She was a quiet horse with very little character. I found it odd, since the Tyra I know now is so very full of life. But there was a time when my beautiful little girl thought of herself as only a machine. People mistreated her so strongly that she didn't feel she could be her full self with me, not yet at least.

My dad called me again. "This horse might never be sound," he cautioned me. "We might end up with a pasture pet in two months according to Dr. Zee."

"I don't care," I protested. I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Even now, writing this, I still cry remembering that dreaded phone call. "I want THIS horse. THIS horse is perfect to me."

"But don't you want something you can ride?" My dad pleaded.

I shook my head, even though he couldn't see it. "I don't care. If I can't ride her, fine, but I want _Tyra_!"

He finally gave in and agreed that we could keep her. Dr. Zee sent me a full workup the next day. Notes like "Medial sesamoid fracture" and "broken back pastern angle" meant nothing to me. I knew about the "thin soles" and the "severely underweight and emaciated" portion of the notes. But the bottom note made my heart jump into my throat.

"Recommended owner's father to return horse or euthanize."


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## BlindHorseEnthusiast4582 (Apr 11, 2016)

Subbing, wow what a transformation!


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

@BlindHorseEnthusiast4582 -the journey to the present was quite a rocky one. Glad I did not heed the advice and return and/or put Tyra down


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## JoBlueQuarter (Jan 20, 2017)

That last update had me on the edge of my seat, even though I know she's still with you!


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

A new installment tomorrow! Going to get us all caught up to the present and then I can discuss our current training!


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## Phantomrose (Jul 25, 2016)

Sounds like a rocky start. The latest post about her was quite sad, but her transformation photos are amazing. I cannot wait to hear more in the next chapter, and her current status and training.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

It was very stressful, @Phantomrose. Sometimes I think that if I had never done the PPE, what would I have lost? I would never have known about the fracture, it never causes us issues, and on the flip side I wouldn't be so neurotic about her care and soundness. I, at times, wish we had never done the PPE...


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

My avatar is broken... site bugs suck. Reminder that names have been changed to protect the person's privacy, but all characters exist and are real.

chapter three​


I was still getting the pitying looks from passerbyers as I attempted to ride my horse. The first week I was all-consumed with this mystery lameness the vet so adamantly rallied for. We found a farrier, but they fired me immediately after she was shod because she couldn't stand still. I called and called and called for a follow up but he never responded. I finally gave up and hired another farrier who was quite good, but was always late. That's a story for another time.

After Tyra got her shoes on she began to walk better. I assumed my saddle, which for JR very well, would work on Tyra. I did not think about how boney and thin she was. I had a saddle and she needed to be ridden, so I threw the thing on without a second thought. 

It was obvious what training Tyra had in the past. I did not think too hard about her OTTB label, knowing she had training after the track. Her trot was slow and lethargic, her canter a four-beat, but what she did do was gallop into the canter when I asked. For the first week she had two bolting steps before settling into it. I assume it was a bit of the barrel racing, a bit of the track she still remembered. The next week consisted mostly of her learning how to move off at a squeeze. You had to KICK this horse to make her go, and it became quite obvious that she was spur trained. With the help of a crop, we resolved this issue in a week's time, and Tyra learned how to go off a small squeeze, and also learned to stop at a small jiggle of the reins.

This was long before I knew anything about dressage, contact and "seeking the bit." My hunter training taught me I did not want a horse who lugged on my hands and pulled me around the arena. I wanted a soft, extremely responsive mount. Nowadays, Tyra is more of a lug and pull than the kind of softness she had, but for my purposes, for right now, we'd rather have too heavy than too light. I don't want her to be afaid of the bit. But again, we will touch on that later.

Her very first bit was a single jointed loose ring. A coronet light-weight loose ring, to be exact. I still have that bit, but it hangs in my room as a reminder of how far we've come. I will never part with it; it is a memento of my horse, and she will probably be buried with the bit and her very first halter. 








Tyra didn't feel lame to me, but now that I had been outed as the girl who knew nothing, I wholy lived the label. I remember pulling people aside, random strangers, and having them watch as she trotted back and forth. "is she lame?" I'd ask. "Is she sore?"

They all told me to stop worrying and have fun. They said what she did need was more food and fat.

I met a very good friend at that barn, one who I still connect with to this day. Her name was Megra, and she had a seventeen hand rescue OTTB. Before we connected I always considered her a spoiled, sixteen year old brat. How lucky was she to own such an awesome horse at sixteen? I'd later come to find that they were more financially frugal than we were, and the spent absolutely nothing on this mare. Mochi had more issues than Tyra could ever dream of, she was as unsound as they come, and she was near the age of retirement. Trained in the art of dressage, Mochi was a strong opinionated horse who learned long ago how evil humans could be. She also learned they were easily frightened, and her big size and smarts made for some interesting conversations.
_








Tyra and Mochi_​
Tyra and Mochi lived side by side, alongside another friend of ours, Betha, and her horse Star. Star was a very old Morgan gelding. He had cushings, laminitis, and a very bad swayback. The owner was in love with her horse but couldn't see the damage she was doing to him. She did not ride him correctly, and I believe that is what attributed to the swayback. She insisted his head be in the air at all times. He was once a carriage trotter but had been retired and was now this girl's jumper and all-around horse.

The three of us had a wonderful summer. I will always remember that year fondly. We rode every day, wherever we could. None of us took lessons (i had to leave my trainer because of financial reasons), but we all helped each other. Megra and Mochi were learning to jump, and I was teaching Tyra as Bertha and Star galloped at top speed around all sorts of courses we set up in the jumping arena.

Tyra still did not show much personality. She was hard to lead and would bolt if she felt she could get away with it, so I began using a stud chain. I was too proud to use rope halters, believing them to be tools of the backwards western folk (remember, I was still pretty much a hunter princess). A stud chain fit the look of a hunter horse. Tyra leaned into that pressure though and I found it little use. 

She was easy enough under saddle, but badly picked on by her one stall mate, Early, and Mochi. Early would charge and attack Tyra from across the way. There was plenty of blood and bite marks. But, our stall was next to Megra, and by this time we'd become such good friends that I did not want to move.


Megra and Mochi were getting good with their jumping, but Tyra and I had only started. I began with tiny, raised jumps on a lunge line, and had Tyra go over them again and again. I slowly started to increase the height, until we were at 2 feet on the lunge. When she did it without fail, I got on her and tried little crossrails.





_Megra and Mochi_​
Looking back, I understand that I pushed my horse too hard and too fast, but Tyra was so compliant that I just kept going. Two feet became 2'6, which became 2'9, and before long we were jumping 3' courses. I began introducing oxers, rollbacks, and liverpools. She jumped them all, bless her heart, without an argument.








She was gaining weight steadily and slowly, but still very thin. I fed her three scoops of rice bran a day and three scoops of timothy hay pellets. The groceries helped, but she was not gaining muscle and her topline remained terrible.

I still did not realize my saddle did not fit.

When I figured out the gullets were adjustable, thanks to Megra, we changed her wide gullet to a narrow. That helped a lot, and we were able to get the saddle up off her withers. That saddle worked for us for a long time, until it just didn't work anymore.





_Tyra and Early_​


It was two months now, and Tyra had blossomed. But her back was still very weak. By now, Tyra had started jumping 2'6 vertical courses. Her gaits were extremely steady and she was easy to extend and collect. We worked mainly on adding and subtracting strides. Below is an image after her very first 2'6 course.

















She was one of the best horses I'd ever jumped. So easy, so responsive, and never said no. She hadn't a single refusal since I started riding her. At the time, I didn't focus on flatwork at all. I just wanted to jump.





_Tyra with a student from the lesson program, 2'6_.​
Her topline was improving every day, but no matter how much I rode her it never was enough. I could not figure out what was wrong. Certainly she was eating enough? I was riding her every day, sometimes twice a day. What was going on?








Even still, the improvement we saw in a little over two months was staggering.








Her neck was becoming thick and muscular. She started coming out of her shell, offering cute little glimpses into her personality. She remained food aggressive, pinning her ears at me when I would get near her grain. She never bit, but she still saw me as a threat. We estimated she had not been fed and had to fight for her food with the horse she lived with before I got her.








Unfortunately, things would about to take a turn for the very worst, which would lead us to the land of clinton anderson, natural horsemanship, narcissists, and how sometimes a lay off can bring horse and human closer together.










_Ty and I. I love her today as much as I did, if not more, the day I found her online_​


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Yea, great journal. Very good writing.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

chapter four​
While bathing Tyra alongside Meg and Mochi, Meg crinkled her face and pointed at a few sores she saw on Tyra's back. "What are those?" she asked.

I looked. They were small, but raised and when you pressed on them they dispersed, only to fill back up upon release. "I don't know," I answered.

"Her saddle might not fit. I think those are blisters. Is she sore?"

I ran my hand down Tyra's back and sure enough, she gave a soft gasp and arched her back violently. Oh no...

My saddle didn't fit.

The next day I went to walgreens and bought five gel packs. I brought out her girth and surcingle and attached the gel packets to either side of her back with the contraption. I let her sit for fourty minutes, cribbing, while I iced her back.








I knew nothing about chiros, accupuncturists, or the like. My mare's back was sore and she had given no indication under saddle apart from the fact that she was more and more reluctant to go forward. I felt horrible.

I gave Tyra 3 weeks off to recuperate, corrected the gullet, and tried again. This time, she took off after we landed from the jump and EXPLODED into a bucking fit. Every. Single. Time.

The last straw came when one day I was in the arena with my favorite lesson student, riding Tyra while she rode a pony called Bugs. When I asked for a canter, Tyra started to bronc. Big bucks. sticking her head between her legs and kicking her feet over her head. I stayed on for 8 repetitions before she spun me off. I flew into a jump, seriously injuring my hip. 

The student got on, thinking she could correct it, and I got to see what was happening. At cueing the canter. Tyra JUMPED into the air and kicked out as hard as she could. The girl was hanging on by a thread. I was horrified, I could not believe my sweet little mare was being so nasty.

Then I called in professional help. A trainer who came onto the property to teach a few students was well-known for her hand at correcting stubborn horses. I talked to her about the saddle fit issues, the back soreness, and the bucking. She checked the saddle (she was a saddle fitter as well), and said it fit "OK," and should not be causing the kind of issues I was describing.

The woman got on Tyra and started lateral flexions. This trainer was an eventer who didn't have much of a show record, but seemed to know enough to get her students around a course and earn high marks. 

She found that Tyra would not give to the bit, even throwing in a few rears when she held the contact. Finally, Tyra bowed her head and the woman released. She then picked up a trot, pulling Tyra's head into her chest. Then a canter. No bucking, no resistance, and the canter was large and powerful. I was amazed. I thought we'd found the secret ingredient.

I got on next. I was instructed to hold Tyra's head as low and as round as I could. She said, "if you see the neck muscle pop up, that means she is using her back." So I concentrated on finding the neck muscle, cranking her nose into her chest.

When we entered the canter, I found I could not hold what felt like 500 pounds of pressure in my hands. "Is she supposed to feel this heavy?" I asked, quite shocked. 

"yep, that's normal," insisted the trainer.

For the next three weeks I rode her like this, nose as tight as I could pull it. But soon we lost all of our impulsion. No amount of leg or crop could make Tyra go faster than a walk. I needed help yet again.

"She must submit," the trainer had told me. "She's too willful, she must submit."

While we struggled with our walk, a lady who was known for being a bit of a troublemaker came up to us. "I see your horse is lame."

Lame? I got off. I trotted her out. Sure enough, she was lame on both hinds. "I believe her feet need help. Her hamstrings are too tight." She ran her hand down Tyra's thighs, and she reacted by picking her legs up. "I have a farrier who can help you. If you let me, I can help you, too."

I figured it was worth a shot, how bad could she be?

This woman practiced CA horsemanship, and I admired her ability to round pen without a lunge line. Her horses listened to her. She had a sorrel quarter horse named Dandy, and a large draft named Prince. Both were rescue cases and both had lameness issues that she said she knew how to resolve. 

The day of our farrier appointment, he exclaimed that Tyra's hinds were way too tall and all her heels were crushed. "This horse needs serious help." Right away he went to correcting what he could of her hooves. We trotted her out, and amazingly she was sound! She didn't struggle to pick up the trot at all!

The woman said that due to her back pain and hoof issues, we should give her eight months to rehab. Not wanting to get back on a bucking horse, I agreed.

The lady's name was Mitch. Her claim to fame was starting horses, but never finishing them. Right away she worked on respect with Tyra in the round pen. Moving her feet, getting her forward, and making her change directions at a simple point of the finger. Tyra became very good at this, but I was starting to get comments from railbirds, especially those in the eventing trainer's group.

"That woman is going to ruin your horse," Elizabeth, a well-known dressage queen, warned me. "She makes horses lame. She has no idea how to ride. Stick with Jessie, she will help you and your mare."

I didn't believe her, as Tyra was improving under this woman's care.

Mitch helped me with many things. She was an ambulance driver and medic, and knew her way around vet medicine. She taught me how to bandage, how to suture, how to administer shots, how to check for lameness, how to treat tendon issues, how to treat accesses, and other important veterinary medicine skills. This woman almost never used the vet, believing she had human-based knowledge she could apply to her animals. I'd never heard of DIY medicine, and I was intrigued. Whatever she treated magically resolved the next day, and I greatly valued her medical experience.

We moved Tyra to the arena, and started lunging her there. Using a Clinton Anderson halter, Mitch was able to cue Tyra on just a soft wiggle. Tyra immediately stopped and faced her, and then went straight back to the canter. It was fascinating watching Mitch, because she really seemed to understand what she was doing.








Tyra was gaining weight. Wheras before she would not go over 900 pounds, now she was strong, muscled and weight over 1200. The same weight she had been claimed to weigh back when I bought her.






Her canter was improving. She no longer cross cantered. She kept her lead and picked up the right one all the time.

It was May, now, and Mitch thought she was ready to be ridden. I acquired a dressage saddle from a friend, as my interest in the sport was growing. We thought perhaps Tyra would never jump again. Maybe the bad experiences with the saddle led her to believe she just couldn't do it, so a new sport was in order.

Mitch rode western and trails, and knew almost nothing about English. But, in order for me to stay her friend, she pretended she did. For a while she trained me, not wanting me to pick up any contact with Tyra but instead wanted her long and low and forward. All the reading I was doing in dressage seemed to contradict this notion, and I became highly skeptical.

I sought the help of Mitch's dressage trainer, a grand prix gold medalist named Meghan. Meghan had been trained by a woman trained by Charlotte Dujardan, and Meghan herself was a FEI-level rider, so i did not doubt her skills. She wanted us to use a crop and spurs, and Mitch was vehemently against it. She thought if you couldn't use your natural aids you were worth nothing, but Tyra had become so dull to the leg aids that no amount of kicking and squeezing was working.

Unfortunately, Mitch grew quite unbearable to be around. She often down-talked many of my English equestrian friends, claiming they were abusive riders who did not understand horses or "true" riding at all. I started to be avoided and disliked by many of my friends, and my associations with Mitch were highly negative.

One day, out of the blue she texted me about a good mutual friend I'd been hanging around a lot. "If you want to train with me, you will stop talking to her or I will no longer help you and Tyra."

I texted her back, "I won't be made to choose friends. I'm sorry, but you don't have any say in what I do with my horse or with other people."

I didn't hear from her again. While Mitch proved a valuable medical asset, her attitude was atrocious and I no longer wanted her negativity in my life.

I resumed my dressage training, but without Mitch, Meghan would not come to the barn. She lived too far away and it was too long of a drive for her to commit without at least two riders. None of my friends needed trainers, so I had to find someone else. For a while I worked on dressage with Tyra alone, implementing what I felt was correct for us.

But I still needed more training, and we wanted to resume jumping. I was recommended a saddle fitter who fitted us with a custom, adjustable Sommer Espirit. Now that we had the back problems under control, we could resume serious riding. 








All the time off had made Tyra and I exceptionally close. I found joy in just being around her, taking her for hand walks and grazing time. I talked to her endlessly, and I found in a certain way she talked back. We were bonded at the hip and I knew this was the horse of a lifetime, and even if I could never ride her again I would always love and take care of her.

I do miss Mitch. She was an extremely fun person, but I will not be told to choose friends. That winter was one of the best winters of my life, and I pity her for being so hard-headed. She was a really great person and we had become exceptionally close. The last I heard she is still training horses, but avoids people in the Pastures for her negative reputation.


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## Phantomrose (Jul 25, 2016)

I really liked reading these two chapters. There are some horse people out there really set in their ways, and any sort of use of crop or spurs is considered abuse. It really depends how those tools are implemented.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

chapter five​


After we stopped training with Mitch, I started taking lessons with the resident hunter/jumper trainer, Pat. Pat was one of those horse people who liked horses, but not humans. She was short-tempered with eyes of fiery passion. There was no room for slacking off at her barn. You had to bite your tongue when you talked to her sometimes, as she was always on the defensive and quick to criticize and judge. She used to yell so loud in the arena: "JUMPER POSITION, JUMPER POSITION!" to some of the students who just weren't getting it. If you proved a difficult learner, she gave up on you and handed you off to the residential children's trainer. 

Pat liked Tyra, but Pat didn't always think we were a good match. "I'd never ride that horse," Pat said, "she's crazy. I can't believe you still have her." Pat had taken many falls. She'd had her knees replaced, hip surgery, broken bones, and recently crushed lungs and ribs from a fall off a horse. Though Pat still rode, her gun-ho personality became quite conservative and she didn't take nearly as many risks as she used to.

I didn't have any other trainers around me who I liked, and I definitely was not going back to Jessie, so Pat was the only game in town.

It seemed, looking back, things only got worse under Pat. She did not understand Tyra. "Don't let her look!" she used to say when Tyra would spook at an object. I always let Tyra see and investigate whatever scared her, but Pat wanted us to push forward. She thought letting Tyra look would teach her to spook. She was the trainer, and I was the student.

Upon returning to jumping, our new issue was lugging and rushing jumps. Tyra would bolt at a fence, land, and pull me onto her neck while cantering around the ring without a stop in sight. She reminded me a lot of Jr., but this was not how she used to be. I tried a pelham, we tried a gag, nothing seemed to help the lugging and rushing.

The lessons got more and more anxiety-prone. Tyra began bolting and bucking at a whim, and she would collect more and more speed and be impossible to stop. I quickly became frightened. Everything came together in a terrible way when one day, during a lesson that was not going well at all, Tyra spooked big at the tractor grooming the outside of the arena. She bolted forward, lept into the air and threw her back legs as far over her head as I could go. I was immediately dislodged, but my foot got stuck in my stirrup. I landed on my feet, but as my ankle twisted my stirrup leather snapped and my foot came crashing to the ground. I heard a pop, and then pain seared up my leg and I collapsed.

The student in our lesson grabbed Tyra and Pat drove the truck in to the arena, and off to the hospital we went. I remember feeling more upset about not being able to ride than the pain that was in my ankle. Pat felt terrible, but it wasn't really her fault.

I was in a boot and cast for 8 weeks. I had torn the tendons and ligaments in my ankle in two places. It hurt so, so much the first few days, but slowly it got better. I was angry that I could not stay on her bucks, but I was not upset with Tyra.

I called a trainer friend of mine and explained to her the situation. "She's tense, she spooks, and she still bucks," I complained. The trainer, named Caroline, was a well-known eventing, dressage, and hunter/jumper rider and trainer who managed one of the biggest A barns in the area. We met last summer when I worked at her barn as a student underneath her, and became good friends. She agreed to come help me. 

Under Caroline, Tyra began to change. The first rides were filled with shadow punches, Tyra bucking and shaking her head in an effort to scare Caroline the same way she'd scared me. But the woman did not give in. She remained stoic through it all, choosing not to react and instead pushed Tyra forward instead of allowing her to plant her feet and escalate.

When the pair was finally ready to jump, Tyra did not rush or buck afterwards. She was incredibly calm. "She wants to take the long spots," Caroline commented, "I want to dictate where we jump. Eventually she can choose, but right now she needs to listen to me."






It was the beginning of the end of Old Tyra. New Tyra was developing.

I got a text a few weeks after Caroline joined us, asking if I would ever consider moving my horse. "You guys need a new start. I have a friend who owns a barn and is looking for boarders. It is invite only. The arena is great. I am moving my horses there as well." 

So, I went to see it, and my was it beautiful. The arena was smaller an more strangely shaped than our huge jumping arena, but the barn was lovely. It comprised of cross ties, a full tack room, and the stalls were 12 x 12 with a 12 x 24 run. The best part, the horses got turned out for six hours a day and were fed three times a day. It was perfect.

We moved two weeks later.

About two weeks into our new barn, Tyra was a different horse. She no longer reacted to noise. She was calm. She didn't spook at anything. The bucking stopped, the headshaking was a thing of the past, and she was happy. Her feet were healing. She had made a friend, Cloud, who she was turned out with and stalled next to.

















​I finally had my horse back.

And that is where we are today. December 3 we competed at our very first schooling show. Tyra has never been off property before save for one trip to the local horse park. We did walk/trot classes and cleaned up with two firsts, two seconds, and a fourth out of our five classes. She was absolutely perfect, not a single issue. We got back in March for the hunter derby.

I am in the green coat.






So now that we are all caught up on just how we got here, I can begin writing about our adventures in the present!


















​


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

I skipped going to the barn today, so I wanted to take some time to discuss some things that have been on my mind recently regarding horses, showing, and training.

In another thread about my mare, @gottatrot and I have been having a dialogue back and forth regarding whether or not the "dressage ideals" are even attainable, or if they are completely inbred in dressage horses. Originally, I stood on the side that eventually, with faith, love, and maybe some pixie dust any horse could get to the FEI level, but not every horse could win. That is still true to a certain extent. You do not need a certain level of points to move onto the next level in dressage, it is whenever you feel ready. But once you go up, you can't come down, at least that is my understanding.

Another thread I was reading talks about how dressage horses are bred to have snappy knees, lofty gaits, uphill movements, and inbred suspension. It's not developed, _it just looks that way_. Yes, perhaps there's a little bit of training that's involved, but in reality those horses you see on tv are all natural. My horse, no matter how hard we try, is never going to look like that.

But I think it's interesting how, while dressage and saddleseat both prefer exaggerated movements, dressage is one of the only sports that I know of that does not try and get excessive "more" from a horse's movements, if we ignore rollkur for a second which pops that above assumption hard.. There's no stacking of the shoes, no ankle bracelets, no tail sets, nothing artificial like the saddleseat discipline. There's no soring, and the only drug abuse I believe would be the overuse of ace/depressants to make those hot horses calmer for the show ring, which is a common issue among many equine disciplines.

Before the warmblood really started dominating sports, the horse that ruled the world was the thoroughbred, and the thoroughbred was developed as the thoroughbred naturally moved. You see videos of dressage in the 50's, 60's and even 70's, and the movement of the horses is drastically different than the movement in today's warmbloods.

Compare this footage of dressage in the 1950s to the dressage of today's horses:











Just look at how different those two horses perform their canter pirouettes!

Laura graves is one of my all-time favorite riders. Her story with Diddy reminds me so much of my struggles with Tyra. Still, Diddy is a dutch warmblood and his leg action is simply what his breeding dictates he do. He has no choice, it is in his blood. Laura uses what natural action Diddy provides her and articulates it through specific training, but the movement is always there. The two styles in these videos are drastically different from one another.

I think it is good that I reach for the stars, but it's important I stay in the reality that Tyra, while she has natural athletic ability, cannot hold a candle to verdades, valegro, nip tuck, or even salinero. even poor, poor totilas could blow tyra out of the water despite being lame.

I still love my girl, though, and we will do what works for us. We will be the best we can be, as a team, even if it isn't going to win us a blue ribbon. I think there's more openings at the lower levels, as we'll be facing off against quarter horses, warmblood crosses and other thoroughbreds, but my dreams of PSG or grand prix may be on another horse.

It's a hard pill to swallow, but I still know all this training is going to help keep Tyra strong, fit, and sound.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

^ I'm sorry the first video was in the 1930s, during the olympics in germany... Didn't see the flags in the background until too late :x


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

Pretty neat to see those two videos playing at the same time. Very interesting.

I think it's important to think you can achieve anything...except it is also important to understand reality. No use being too hard on yourself for not achieving something that is actually not due to your riding and training, but rather is just impossible for your horse to do. 

Love the blue ribbon picture, it is great.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

gottatrot said:


> I think it's important to think you can achieve anything...except it is also important to understand reality. No use being too hard on yourself for not achieving something that is actually not due to your riding and training, but rather is just impossible for your horse to do.


Important for me to remember this. Thanks Gottatrot. And thanks for the comment on my photo! It was a super great day for us.  Very proud of Tyra!


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## buggy (Aug 8, 2016)

I am thoroughly enjoying your writing and story! Looking forward to more! :runninghorse2:


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## ChasingDreams (Nov 14, 2017)

Following! Your writing is great, and your love and devotion to Tyra despite the "odds" is inspiring. Can't wait to hear more about your progress 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

We survived our first show of the season!

And what a show it was. Trainer, Leaser and I conversed on our goals for this season a few weeks ago. Originally, we wanted to enter Tyra in our local A circuit, one of the highest "ranked" show circuits for the hunter, jumper, and equitation disciplines. We crunched the numbers and while we found ways to save a few pennies, ultimately it was going to cost us 1,000 for an entire weekend. Add 4 weekends onto that... yeah. It wasn't happening.

As disappointed as all of us were, there are a few very competitive schooling circuits in our area. I realized the reason I wanted to show rated was mainly just to thumb my nose and those who believed Tyra didn't have what it took to even get to that level. It's a bad attitude to have, I know, but I still feel I have a lot to prove with this horse. 










Last Saturday we went and schooled at the show grounds. Tyra had never been over flowers before (ok, she had, but it didn't go well), and Leaser was skeptical of how reliable she'd be at the show. Tyra is known for pulling a few tricks up her sleeves when she wants to be a bit defiant, and it shakes Leaser's confidence. Trainer, luckily, has really helped her and Tyra through it though.

It was wonderful to be able to jump fences that were more... show-like. At home, we have standards and only one gate, and all the jumps are a bit run down and old. We have yet to have our paint party and fix them up - BOs are a bit concerned about paint everywhere! Nonetheless, our showing career has begun.






The day of the show Tyra loaded like a gem. She was perfect, minus some anxious pawing, to the show grounds. I loaded and unloaded her for the first time ever without an issue. She seemed to know why we were there.

Tyra tends to get very competitive during a show, but the hard schooling from yesterday left her absolutely exhausted. She's normally not a horse you need spurs with, but Leaser and I found we were reaching for our baby rollers because poor Tyra was just too mellow to giddy-up. Better than a crazy bolting thoroughbred!

However, this show was to promote the host barn, a local very, very high-end schooling barn for the rich sons and daughters of the local tech CEO's who reside in the area. Therefore, not to be bitter, but we weren't the "star in the county down" shall we say. A lot of the school's horses are very, very old. Most have soundness issues but are required to work for their food. A lot have health problems and are ridden by inexperienced and very unsympathetic kids. These horses work hard. They endure a lot. I have major respect for them, but they certainly couldn't shine a penny.










Tyra looked ten times better than all those horses, but because she didn't have auto lead changes like the school's string, we got last place in all of our classes.

I was disappointed at our stash of 5th and 6th place ribbons, but we were there to learn and train, not to win. 

Despite being QUITE behind the leg and hesitant over all the jumps (hey, it was her first time in an o/f class!), we were extremely proud of her progress. 

The next show is in April. We will be competing in hunters and equitation, and Tyra debuts her dressage career with intro test a!


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Hey I thought she did great. The changes will com. She looked very workmanlike.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

The changes will come.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

@whisperbaby22, they are slowly coming together! She gets a bit anxious when asked to change, but she can get them over a pole. I was proud she accomplished the task we set for her. I thought her and Leaser were absolutely incredible.


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

Just found your journal. I didn't READ read all the posts but what I did get through my pregnancy fuddled brain I did enjoy.

I liked what you had to say on dressage. An upper level horse is BRED and BORN, not trained. Just like most equine sports, it's about what the judge wants to see. I think those new to dressage, when they hear that ANY horse can do dressage (which is true!), they think with enough effort their horse will be a Valegro. It's not going to happen. BUT you can vastly improve your riding and your horse by practicing dressage. My mare will never be high, or really even mid level. We practice training level and I don't claim to be great. But it keeps her light and responsive, and it can be fun too. It helps us greatly out on the trail. In my area, I have to ride along roads next to rattling trailers and very loud traffic, and drivers who don't have a clue that they should at least give a horse the space that they give to a bicyclist. So trust and responsiveness is imperative.

I've never had money for consistent lessons or showing. Not when I was growing up, and not now. Truth of the matter is that you really CAN do anything you set out to do, if you really want it. So I COULD make those lessons happen and those shows happen, if I really wanted to. But I discovered that is not what is important to me. What is important to me is just enjoying my horse, and continuing to learn and grow. I like seeing what the horses have to teach me. I like learning from watching others ride and work and have successes and make mistakes. And I like learning from my own success and failure.

The experience I gained was not something that will make me win shows. My experience allows me to fix those problem horses that others have given up on. Thinking about it now, I realize that I've really learned to read, or rather listen, to what horses are telling me. And it takes some trial and error, but I have been able to resolve their problems, whether behavioral/training or health. You know how arthritis is "incurable"? That was not my experience. 

Believe it or not, my mare Shan was much worse than Tyra in our troubled years. She has an ingenuity, an extreme intelligence, and a very very deep stubborn streak. I have worked with many horses and have yet to find one that is her equal. It took me a long time to figure out how to outsmart her. It took us a long time to figure out how to work well together. Experienced horse people and trainers had trouble with her, unless they let her do her own thing. Owning a horse like this is largely one of the reasons I never was able to get into showing. But she is also the reason why I can take a difficult horse, figure out what's wrong, and resolve the problem.

I apologize. I'm not meaning to take over your journal. But your entries are thought provoking and brought back a lot of memories for me. I see a reflection of my teenage self in you and your early struggles with Tyra, determined to keep a horse who others say just isn't quite right.

P.S. My mare is great now. I can do anything with her and fully trust her. I can even put beginners or children on her and know she will take care of them. She was worth every bit of blood, sweat, and tears.


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

I read your journal and it's really great in both writing and content - you demonstrate your love for Tyra very well! I love love the pictures and videos!


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

Thank you @horseluvr2524... i think everyone at the barn when i brought her home wanted me to take her back. It was heartbreaking. Here I have this beautiful horse who I saw potential with, and all anyone saw was a skinny, wormy, sickly, lame thoroughbred who probably crashed and burned as a racehorse (wasn't the case at all!). Mostly, everyone thought I got taken for a ride by the seller - that was true. But I think the worst part was the vet telling me to get rid of her or put her down to save myself the misery of what she was sure would happen... There were 2 times that year my vet told me to put her down but I didn't. And I am glad. And while she has never formally apologized to me nor ever will I do know that she knows she was wrong... 

My current BO thinks I am a bit neurotic for how carefully i watch Tyra but things happen with her in the blink of an eye. She's going back to the horse I knew and loved in the beginning of our journey - completely reliable, trustworthy, will do anything you ask, cooperative, and wants to make you happy, but I also learned that she has to *trust* the person she is with. For the entire stint that she was being difficult she did not trust me, and I didn't trust her, and our relationship was awful. Then I found my current trainer, and it turned out Tyra didn't trust people AT ALL. I know that was my fault, and I am glad we have finally re-established our relationship.

The show was a big deal for us because if Tyra didn't trust my Leaser she wouldn't jump anything. Not at all. So even though she was hesitant and didn't trust the jumps, she trusted her rider and that was a huge break through for us. I appreciate when she feels comfortable to lean on humans for support and guidance, and when we went on the trail today I felt that too (trainer rode her), that she looked to her rider for assurance and advice instead of blowing them off like she used to, and only trusting herself because so many people let her down.

I feel like I owe this horse an incredible life. A pain free life, no matter what the cost, for all she's given me. That's why I take such good care of her, and why I am so specific and picky about her care, because she puts up with SO much and has such compassion and trust in people, and I want to maintain that. She doesn't deserve to work a moment in pain... I was in a really bad emotional place before we met. It was like destiny - i saw her ad and said "that's my horse." It didn't even take a moment for me to decide I wanted her no matter what: lame, sound, sick, or well.


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## 4horses (Nov 26, 2012)

Lovely journal. Yes i too know the difficulties in loving a lame horse. My first horse was a red chestnut. We looked at several horses and none clicked with me. Her owner rescued her from an abusive situation, got her healthy and started under saddle. 

We did a vet check and she passed, but in hindsight i wish we had done x rays. She had one contracted foot. We tried shoes but they would not stay on. Finally we put her barefoot. Now they have hoof boots for horses. Back then, if they had hoof boots i certainly never heard of them. 

Anyhow, she struggled with lameness issues on and off. The wet weather in south Florida certainly was no help. Nor were the shell rock roads. Our pasture flooded part of the year. The new neighbors added fill to their yards, so their water drained onto our property. 

Pretty much every summer she would get an abscess and be lame for weeks at a time. She would recover just in time for me to return to school. She later developed an unidentifiable hind end lameness. We tried injections with adequan. The vet diagnosed her with navicular syndrome in the right front and undetermined stiffness in the back hinds.

This mare meant the world to me at that time in my life. We had so much fun together despite her issues. We had a pond on the property and she absolutely loved swimming. We swam almost daily, after our rides. She still likes to dunk her nose and blow bubbles in her water bucket on a hot day.

We showed in the lower levels of 4H but really could not compete at a high level. Not against $20,000 show horses, although i always was proud when one of those horses acted up and we placed over them. Quite by accident, i discovered she excelled at "fun shows". Egg and spoon and hairpin were probably our best events. She could not turn a corner like a barrel horse, but she could run fast enough to still place and occasionally win. We took second place at hairpin at the fair. We took a first at hairpin at one of the local shows.

Then i started drillteam and gave up on 4H. That was a whole other ball game of political maneuvering and teenage drama. We didn't get to show the first year due to politics and favoritism. I switched to the adult team which was an absolute blast. We won several competitions and even won state that year.

Desy became increasingly lame after i moved off to college. It was at that point i bought a second horse (who has soundness issues as well but that was pure bad luck and nothing preventable). Desy became a babysitter. She raised Harmony and taught her manners. As Harmony was too young to ride, i ponied her off Desy for short light rides.

Desy has always had a soft spot for children. There used to be this little boy down the street, who would always run up and hug her when he saw us. i sometimes wonder what happened to that boy. Did he grow up to be an equestrian? 

For a while Desy worked giving children their first rides. She adores children and her expression always softens when she sees a child. I have a feeling there are pictures of her all over Facebook if i could find them. But her heart developed leaky values which is common in horses her age and she is now living out her retirement. 

She is 25 this year. She spends a lot of time napping out in the sun. She begs for a bath every time the temperatures warm up. She acts like a 90 yr old person. Stiff and cranky. But very happy to see her mash and have a nice grooming. She hates bugs so i have a fan with a timer set up just for her for the summer months. She has cushings started and her coat doesn't look great, but she made it another year. I honestly didn't think she would make it this long. But as long as she is comfortable, i will keep her going.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

@4horses, that is a beautiful story... i had to wipe a tear away. I'm eagerly awaiting the day when Tyra's in her 20s and I am in my 40s and we'll talk about the good old days....


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

it has been an absolute nightmare these past few months.

things are not working out at my new barn. there is so much to mention it's almost too overwhelming.

in april we went to my first horse show in a very long time. the leaser did the hunters and didn't do so well. it was alright, though. the point of the show, of course, was not to win, but to just have fun. sadly though my leaser took this small, casual schooling show extremely seriously. her ex-trainer came up to use and berated my leaser for leaving her and choosing a “lesser horse” to ride. it was very disheartening but while i wanted to prove the lady wrong, leaser walked away completely crushed. and of course, the hunter round didn’t go great.






however! i did my dressage test for the first time ever, and it was the best performance out of tyra that we’ve ever had. she was light, forward, completely engaged, and piloted me around the arena as if she’d memorized the test, even though we’d only gone over it twice. for test b, we got lost coming in so the judge let us reset and try once more. we walked away with a 70% and 71%, and two first place ribbons! and everyone said this horse couldn’t do dressage!

however, new dynamics at the barn have made it impossible to stay. the scary male bo is now retiring after striking it rich selling stocks, and his alcoholism is getting worse. so we’ve made the decision to leave the barn in a haste, considering he has been staring at me and my leaser like filet mignons… 

after a terrible virus broke out, tyra’s best friend passed away and the barn was locked down in quarantine. no one else got sick, but they blamed tyra for potentially bringing the virus? which is ridiculous considering she was never sick… whatever, the barn owners generally cannot decide if they want boarders or not.

so we are going tomorrow to look at a new place on the east bay, far away from the peninsula and the drama. unfortunately i am getting a lot of pushback from the trainer and leaser about leaving. i feel guilty and they have done so much for me but it is time for a change. i just wish they would respect my decision…

this new place has competitive dressage, reining, h/j, eventing, AND endurance teams. yes, teams, because when you join the training programs everyone is in what is called “the training annex” and you all go together to competitions. it sounds awesome! i hope tyra is happy there. the turnout situation will be worse than what we have, but there is an opportunity to migrate her out to the herd in the future which is what we hope to do. i’d love for her to know life as a pasture horse.

oh, and i got a puppy! meet rudy!


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Cute pup. Too bad your leasor is upset, but your horse, your decision.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

whisperbaby22 said:


> Cute pup. Too bad your leasor is upset, but your horse, your decision.


if only they acted that way... both the leaser and the trainer freaked out and tried to get me to board at a more expensive barn. i told them no, and i tried to leave on good terms but they both gave me the cold shoulder. :/

turns out male BO is a predator. Parents want to move the horse ASAP, so we are planning on a tuesday trip. I went to look at the new property today and I LOVE it.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

so far, so good on the new barn!

we moved in yesterday. i will say point blank i don't think the barn owners were sad to see us go. pretty much put the horse in the trailer and took off. i had no interest in making small talk with them or saying any heartfelt goodbyes. things ended on a bad note, no matter how hard i tried to keep the bridges from burning. unfortunately it is looking like the barn owner will control the story of why we left, but in the end i guess it doesn't matter. we are gone, moving on, and that is what counts.

getting in the trailer was so cute. it was a straight load, and tyra had never been on a straight load before, but she would initially not go in. just planted her feet and said "no." so the barn owner tried, and still we struggled to get her inside. i came around the side of the trailer to encourage her and she kept looking over at me like "is this it? was i bad? are you getting rid of me?" it was heartbreaking, but cute at the same time. eventually, after a few moments she stepped in, nickered to her friends and we were off. 








the new ranch is... very different from what we are used to. my stall included 2 bags of bedding (wasn't enough!!!), mats, and hay morning and evening. the good news is they would put it in a hay net, and they feed _generous_ amounts, not skimpy hay like at our old barn. it may be set at 4 flakes, but these flakes were _big_. 



















moving wasn't too much stress. people were nice or had the decency not to say anything as we gathered our things and moved it to the new shed. i got my own tack locker that was just a giant tupperwear shed, but what can you do? it is good enough for what we want to do. i had bought shelving and a place to put my english saddles. my dad doesn't want to build us anything extravegant until we know we are staying at the new barn.










no riding on the first day but we walked around and met everyone. people were nice and said hi but i am still feeling rather shy. tyra was excellent, just walked right behind me with her head down. i don't think it's hit her yet that this is our new home.




























today when i went i did get on her and nervously took her into the indoor arena. to my amazement everything was fine. we worked a bit on long and low and extended trot, and cantered one direction because we were struggling with keeping it together. the footing is some sort of dirt and felt mixture, really high-end stuff but tyra has never been in it before, so she was a bit starstruck. i think she was trying to figure out why it felt weird under her feet. we then went on a little hack around the barn and she did AMAZING! no spooks, no issues, and she hadn't even seen the whole place before.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

the first week at the new barn has been amazing. why didn't we move sooner?

Sunday I came up to see Tyra and when I lifted a hoof to pick, I noticed a deep gash on her heel bulb. Alarms immediately rang in my head but over the years I have collected quite an extensive collection of first aid supplies. I knew I needed to soak the foot, especially considering it could be an abscess, but I had no epsom salt or drawing salve. I've never dealt with abscesses before, so my first aid collection wasn't prepared.

We'd barely been at the barn 24 hours and I knew nobody. I took Tyra and walked over to the barn across from me adequately named the "Block Barn," as it is made of cinderblock. It's a lot smaller than the arena barn but there are way more people, and although the horses don't have runs the community helps each other by turning everyone's horses out one at a time all day.

Two women, Linda and Susan, came up to me and asked me what I needed. I said my horse might have an abscess, but I've never dealt with one before so I didn't know what to do. Luckily, they rolled their eyes and said they have too much experience with abscesses, so I was in luck.

As they lifted Tyra's heel to take a peek they asked if she was lame at all, and I said no. She was walking fine and I just brought her in from turnout in the round pen. They said it didn't look like an abscess wound but an overreach cut. Still, they gave me some epsom salt for soaking, vetwrap and a small jar of antibacterial lotion prescribed to one of the ladies for a former incident. With our first aid kit expanded we were set, and I applied the medicine as instructed, just to make sure the cut did not get infected.










Our vet just happened to be scheduled the next day to visit another client, so I called her up and asked her to take a peek and Tyra's heel. She called me back that night and said it was indeed and overreach wound, and that she left me some prescription topicals with an applicator, and to wrap until it healed. She assured me it was nothing to worry about, and also commented on how good Tyra looked and said she was happy I was keeping her weight up. She'd seen her a month before and due to her extremely heavy work load Tyra was looking a bit on the thin side... Now that she's back to light trails and dressage schooling, the weight has piled back on.










On Tuesday we had our first lesson with the brand new trainer, a PSG rider and silver medalist. She isn't at the same level as the Gold medal FEI clinician I ride with but I asked her for a review of the woman, and the clinician said she comes highly recommended and has a lot of experience with thoroughbreds.

Allie is a very nice woman who runs her program with a strict schedule. I appreciate this, because my old trainer sort of had a fly-by-night schedule and we never really knew when she was riding. I got a detailed Google docs schedule of when I would have my lesson, when Tyra would be schooled, and when I needed to pay. No problem - I'd prefer an organized program as opposed to what we were dealing with before. Allie promised me a write-up of every training ride and a detailed training plan to help me reach my goal of Bronze medal.

As we rode, Allie watched with interest. For the first ten minutes she watched Tyra go around, and then abruptly interrupted. She asked what kind of training i'd had before and I told her my trainer really only cared about headset. She said she noticed Tyra was not straight on all four feet and asked me to help her weigh her weaker leg. As soon as I got her balanced I could feel the difference. She was more forward, relaxed, and i felt even pressure in my reins.

I explained that Tyra has one larger shoulder and Allie said she noticed, but that we were going to work on trying to fix that. She asked if Tyra was seeing a chiropractor and I said yes, once a month. Her heels are actually evening out now that she sees the chiro and bodyworker on a regular basis, and even the farrier has noticed a difference. 

As I asked for the canter Tyra struggled on the right lead, which is her weaker side. Her right shoulder is her dominant one and she tends to lean heavy on that inside rein, getting very on the forehand and out of balance. But as we switched sides it completely changed. On the left lead Tyra rocked back on her hocks and cantered very uphill and very balanced. Allie said her canter looked great and was very impressed. The lesson ended and she told me we definitely could get our bronze medal, as Tyra had a lot of potential. Allie told me she will work on lead changes with her more in preparation for third level, even though we are only schooling first. She seemed happy with Tyra and said she was excited to work with her.










Yesterday my old riding buddy and very good friend from the valley came down to visit me and Tyra at our new home. She's never ridden Tyra and asked me if she could take her for a spin over fences. I said sure, even though she hasn't jumped in almost a month. Lately I have been just... not interested in jumping. Dressage is my newest obsession, but I know how much Tyra loves to jump.









_say cheese!_

Interestingly, coming up to both low fences Tyra refused, not in a naughty way but slowly grinded to a stop so as not to unseat Kelly. The fences were multicolored, something she'd never seen before. Kelly tried again and I told her to really insist she jump, because will "talk" to you the whole way up to the jump, asking you if going over is what you want to do? You tell her "yes" with your leg and hand, and as soon as she gets the OK from her rider she will jump the fence. But if you fail to "talk back" to her, she will refuse because you did not give her a clear answer.

Some people find this little habit annoying, but I love it and that is why, for me, she is such a great horse. I want to ride something that communicates with you constantly, and Tyra definitely enjoys that aspect of equestrianism. As I ride her we have little conversations about all sorts of things, whether or not I want a bend, the lead I desire, and what gait we'll go to. Sometimes my ideas are not Tyra's ideas, and we talk about that, too, and make sure we both agree on what is going to happen next. I think it's wonderful, as I hated growing up and riding the deadheaded, overly obedient horses who never gave you any feedback.

But I have been riding dressage so long that my jump seat is not so great, and you can totally tell in the videos I am way out of practice. We kept the jumps small for me because I had no interest showing off. As kelly went over her 3' verticals, Tyra would land and hop (as she usually does) enthusiastically, which made me a bit nervous about how I would do.

But as my turn approached, instead of rushing at every jump and launching over it like she had with kelly, Tyra calmly "loped" over each vertical with grace and precision, and i barely felt the jump underneath me. There was no bucking, no head-shaking, no silly business, not when I was in the saddle. It made me feel good, because it reminded me that my horse does care about keeping me comfortable and confident. Jumping is a skill Tyra is very good at, and one I no longer have. 











Even still, I love this horse so much because when push comes to shove she will always be there for me. My old barn painted this story about a scary, out-of-control, wild thoroughbred only THEY could help, but since moving to my new barn I just don't see it. Tyra has been nothing but well-behaved, sweet, calm, and dare i say it... happy! 

we will always be best friends


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## KigerQueen (Jun 16, 2013)

You would be amazed about how much a barn can effect your horse. i have seen it with my own 4. Im so happy you moved her to a new and better barn! looking forward to many happy post to come!


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

KigerQueen said:


> You would be amazed about how much a barn can effect your horse. i have seen it with my own 4. Im so happy you moved her to a new and better barn! looking forward to many happy post to come!


I thought she would be miserable leaving the super fancy barn we came from but she seems even happier than she was when we moved into that one! She's still fairly green but acts even more "broke" at this barn than she did before. Winter is coming though, eek! she's got summer horse/winter horse syndrome.


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## twixy79 (Jul 8, 2017)

I just found this thread and I love it! I love seeing people capture their horse journeys!


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

twixy79 said:


> I just found this thread and I love it! I love seeing people capture their horse journeys!





thanks twix! i've been reading yours as well and i LOVE your drafts.


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## twixy79 (Jul 8, 2017)

thecolorcoal said:


> thanks twix! i've been reading yours as well and i LOVE your drafts.


Thank you! Its so interesting to learn about one another's journeys and experiences. 

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

it looks like we might be right back to square one... I seem to reset myself a lot. I'm not a vet, nor would ever want to be, but all my experiences of vets have been bad. People who tout their alleged degree and charge left and right just because they can, and with the assumption that horse owners have money. I have money enough to afford Tyra, but eating regularly is rare now. I try not too mooch off of mom and dad although they give me some cash for gas when I need it. I'm not living in a cardboard box or anything, but if I was I probably would be if it weren't for my mom and dad helping.


People don't understand how expensive california is. 1.8million for a house around here is CHEAP. That's a steal. And yet everyone assumes it must be a mansion when that is how much you must spend for a 1 level ranch home.


1.8m: 











14m:










So you see the issue when one talks about prices? Especially vet prices? While one person can get their vet down to do vaccines at $150 a visit, mine charged me almost $400 for a 30 minute appointment. At that price point I should have done them myself.


So why would I trust vets, especially when they seem to only care about money? Yeah, they need to pay for their business but there are things that deserve to be expensive and things that don't. I feel vets should tailor their price points based on the financial situation of their clients. That, or don't offer services to people who can't afford it. That way we all know where we stand.


I showed Tyra's x rays to a track vet I found online, who found me through a facebook post on my mare's papers. He wanted to help me find a way to get her documentation and asked why it was so important? I told him about the injury, and the fact that when it happened mattered so much to her career as a jumper. If she fractured it at the track during the one year time gap when she left racing and returned, that meant she probably would be fine. But if she fractured it upon leaving the track, that gave more credibility to our first vet's prognosis...


So now we are right back to the nail biting, pacing anxiety that started my terror that any bad step would instigate the tendon tear that the vet promised would happen. Within 2 months. I remember neurotically checking her legs three times a day, looking for any kind of swelling. I did so many self-lameness tests that Tyra probably thought she'd been sent to a crazy owner. How could I trust she was sound when I didn't even KNOW she was lame to begin with, and apparently "magical dr zee" saw something nobody else did?


All I want is for someone to tell me "if it was going to happen it would have happened. The fact that it hasn't happened means it probably will never happen." One vet got close to telling me something like that, but they all don't want to give me unnecessary hope. I find that cruel. Are they even telling me the truth but holding back because they are afraid of me suing them if they turn out to be wrong?



Now I don't even trust if we have the right x rays. This vet lied to me about my horse having chronic colic and sent us to an affiliated vet hospital that gave her a financial kick back for every patient when she would have been FINE being treated at home. She has sent me into unnecessary whirls of fear more than once and I _loathe_ this woman. Despise. If I could put a restraining order against her coming near my horse I would.


She has put me into such an awful state of paranoia and my first horse owning experience has been nothing but a nightmare from start to finish. Instead of supporting me and telling me we would figure it out together she told me to euthanize my beloved horse. ON TWO OCCASIONS!


I know my new vet is nothing like her, and as blurry as these x rays are they DO show something and the radiologists HAVE been able to look at them, to a degree, and tell me what they see. out of 5 vets, 2 have told me not to worry, one was on the fence, and now two are telling me no jumping. Who do I believe?


it's time for a new set of x rays. But I want to make sure that everything is done right and that we have a plan of attack should these x rays not improve the prognosis. If we need to surgically remove the chips, i'd rather do that. If with chips removed there's still not a great chance she'll jump again, I'll save my money and ride her on the flat. 



I don't like to jump anymore, but she's SO good at it. And she loves it. I love dressage. I hate that once again I am worrying about this, but we are no longer at fancy barn and things are a bit less... groomed at this barn. I just don't know how I am going to afford another set of x rays...


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## twixy79 (Jul 8, 2017)

I can 100% understand your frustration with the vets. Now, here is where I play both sides of the fence. Veterinary medicine is a science, and just like doctors, nobody ever wants to be wrong. Vets and doctors will go to one side of the spectrum, best case or worst case scenario. I've had vets tell me to put a blind and deaf puppy to sleep because she would have no quality life. That dog grew up and turned into one of the smartest, gentlest dogs I've ever owned. My point, I guess, is that nothing in medicine (or life) can ever be 100%. 
Now, back to your side. You need to find a vet that you are comfortable with and confident in. You need a vet that you can trust to be honest, even if it's not what you want to hear. We lucked out with our equine vet. Yes he is more expensive and just getting him out costs $100, but we trust him and his opinion (even when its not the news or answer I had hoped to hear) 

So, now, if I were you, I'd save for the x-ray because the last thing you want to do is somehow make her worse. A properly done x-ray should give you an answer and help formulate a game plan. Another route, try reaching out to a veterinary school to see if they will review the scan and give their input. Radiology is not nearly as cut and dry as people seem to think it is. And many times you will have different treatments from different doctors based on their previous experiences with success vs failure in similar cases. 



Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


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## mmshiro (May 3, 2017)

thecolorcoal said:


> I have money enough to afford Tyra, but eating regularly is rare now.


No, "afford" is not the term I'd use. In my books, you can "afford" a luxury if you can pay the bills, eat, have no revolving debt to pay off, have an emergency cash stash, put money aside for retirement, and spend the leftover on your luxury of choice. You are in a precarious situation, and as a consequence so is your horse, unless you are implying that you are skipping meals to max out your Roth IRA.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

@twixy79, i guess that is where I get upset. These vets charge as if they know the answers but then they are willing to end an animal's life early because they aren't sure? Well, you did the tests! What do the tests say? If tests are not accurate, if we cannot trust the doctors to give us the absolute answers, then why do we use them in the first place? 



My bad experience with vets (and doctors mind you, it's been both) has led me to teach myself very basic vet medicine. I know how to suture, diagnose basic ailments based on symptoms. I don't have any formal training but I have discovered you don't need vet school for some of this stuff, just actual experience with the issues. 


@mmshiro, i don't count living paycheck to paycheck being able to afford anything. that's walking the financial tightrope of which i am at right now. bank of mom and dad only send me their loans for certain things xD. I am growing up, have to afford things on my own and it is HARD.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

@mmshiro i also guess i am dumb and don't have a pool of money saved for emergency vet visits. we live in the moment, hoping nothing bad will happen. i'd rather spend my hard earned money on ways to avoid the vet than be forced to subject myself to their awful billing schemes.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

thecolorcoal said:


> @mmshiro i also guess i am dumb and don't have a pool of money saved for emergency vet visits. we live in the moment, hoping nothing bad will happen. i'd rather spend my hard earned money on ways to avoid the vet than be forced to subject myself to their awful billing schemes.


Vet bills are tough to swallow sometimes, that for sure. But put it in perspective. That vet probably has close to a 1/2 million dollars in debt when (s)he graduates from vet school. Then he either goes to work for a big conglomerate, either he buys his way in (more debt) or he's a wage slave like you and I, albeit better paid per hour. You're paying for all those years he spent learning how to diagnose and deal with these animals. Large animal vets are getting fewer and farther in between, it's the least well compensated area of vetting and the most dangerous. When you have horses, you just have to develop the attitude that "it costs what it costs" and deal with it. It's not easy, I'm never saying that. And yes, $400 to do your annual vaccines is INSANE, but those vaccines are going up every year. I do all of my own and what used to cost me about $50/horse is now closer to $130. Add farm call, yearly physical, Coggins and maybe a teeth float in there and it goes up real fast. 

I used to buy a box of syringes for around $10 for 100, now it's more like $25. A 10 dose vial of vaccine used to be around $100 and now it's over $500. Just the Rabies used to cost me $10 and this past year I paid about $50 for just that one. And you can't even buy that in CA. You have to get it from the vet (and most of them insist on doing it), so that triples your cost. 

If you're going to have horses, you just have to suck it up and choke on it every now and again.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> Vet bills are tough to swallow sometimes, that for sure. But put it in perspective. That vet probably has close to a 1/2 million dollars in debt when (s)he graduates from vet school. Then he either goes to work for a big conglomerate, either he buys his way in (more debt) or he's a wage slave like you and I, albeit better paid per hour. You're paying for all those years he spent learning how to diagnose and deal with these animals. Large animal vets are getting fewer and farther in between, it's the least well compensated area of vetting and the most dangerous. When you have horses, you just have to develop the attitude that "it costs what it costs" and deal with it. It's not easy, I'm never saying that. And yes, $400 to do your annual vaccines is INSANE, but those vaccines are going up every year. I do all of my own and what used to cost me about $50/horse is now closer to $130. Add farm call, yearly physical, Coggins and maybe a teeth float in there and it goes up real fast.
> 
> I used to buy a box of syringes for around $10 for 100, now it's more like $25. A 10 dose vial of vaccine used to be around $100 and now it's over $500. Just the Rabies used to cost me $10 and this past year I paid about $50 for just that one. And you can't even buy that in CA. You have to get it from the vet (and most of them insist on doing it), so that triples your cost.
> 
> If you're going to have horses, you just have to suck it up and choke on it every now and again.



you know dream, now that i think of it, one of the reasons we moved to the new barn is because they are large and host "vet clinics," where a vet will waive a call fee in exchange for doing 20-30 clients a day. it's pretty awesome. i'm going to their natural balance float. I did the same clinic last year at another barn and it only cost me $350. The procedure was pain and stress free and they were able to cut a button tooth out of tyra that had been bothering her with bitting! I was thrilled.


if the practitioners are kind and actually care i have NO problems paying. NONE. its when i get a "cheated" vibe that i get upset and pricky and resentful.


I didn't expect a 150 vet bill for some ointment my vet dropped off for me but when i read the bill and the charges I also saw she included a low-cost physical exam (which wasn't neccesary), and I was very happy she did this. She gave me call immediately after and walked through how to apply the antibiotic in Tyra's heel cut, and some nutrition-related questions I had. I was 110% happy with her service and paid the bill the moment I got it, instead of waiting 15 days like i did with the other vets because I needed to wait for my next paycheck...


Usually i have some dispensible savings for vet visits. I always save ahead of time for vaccines and shots but I am not always financially prepared for emergencies, like when we had the EHV outbreak a month ago. I was slapped with a 690 vet bill for a medication i NEVER AUTHORIZED. The BO PROMISED she would pay for it. she didn't.


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## KigerQueen (Jun 16, 2013)

YEAH that LAST part is a HUGE no. id tell the vet that you THE OWNER never authorized that and the BO has to pay. im positive that is against a law somewhere... I mean if my horse is getting shots at a clinic and i have someone who is NOT me handling her the vet CALLS to confirm WHAT shots she is getting.

i do agree most vets come out in the whole. i no longer use one because 90% of the time he is "out of town" aka on vacation. he accidently sent me a text meant for his brother about going shooting while he was on his vacation *cought* i mean "out of town". the man makes a racket. he has 8 kids who all go to collage. he lives in a nice house. owns a vacation house, gives 10% of his income to the church and STILL makes MORE then enough to cover all his expenses. also he runs his business out of his house. no overhead of a clinic. he is mobile only.

Im Like the OP in being Jaded by vets. found a good one and im holding on to her for dear life! Is this the current Bo or is this the old one? because i would let all vets in the area know that NO treatment shall be authorized unless you are given a call and ok it either in person or over the phone.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

my mom and dad stepped up and helped me but NONE OF US were happy. I specifically said a) can't afford and b) i didn't want her vaccinated because the horses who did get sick were very very old. I was very confident we would be ok. But oh well... Parents very angry because this outbreak was not our fault. We left the day quarantine was lifted.


This was the old BO, the fancy barn we left.


I told the new BOs of our barn that they need to call all 4 listed numbers BEFORE making any kind of emergency decision.


Paying parents back for the valtrex vaccine. I really want to shoulder all my emergency horse expenses. care bills are my responsibility, and mother and father have agreed to pay for board. its nice having financial help - in this economy trying to keep your head above water is tough.


But as @mmshiro said, the horse might be a "luxury" but i, personally, could not go on without her.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

thecolorcoal said:


> you know dream, now that i think of it, one of the reasons we moved to the new barn is because they are large and host "vet clinics," where a vet will waive a call fee in exchange for doing 20-30 clients a day. it's pretty awesome. i'm going to their natural balance float. I did the same clinic last year at another barn and it only cost me $350. The procedure was pain and stress free and they were able to cut a button tooth out of tyra that had been bothering her with bitting! I was thrilled.
> 
> Usually i have some dispensible savings for vet visits. I always save ahead of time for vaccines and shots but I am not always financially prepared for emergencies, like when we had the EHV outbreak a month ago.


Oh I get not being prepared for emergencies. It happens to med on a fairly regular basis. Since I have 10 horses, plus or minus, at any given time, I TRY to keep at least $1000 set aside for horse emergencies and a separate $1000 for household/vehicle emergencies. But when you get it with that emergency vet bill (like when I had 8 horses down with strangles and one in ICU with a trach in his throat) that $1000 goes up in smoke before you can whistle "Dixie". And then if, God forbid, you have another emergency before you get that fund rebuilt.....you can be in a real tough spot. 

I'm fortunate that I have 2 vets (the vet school and a private vet) that I use regularly and can call them up and say, "Hay, I've got this going on, but I need to let you know I can't afford to pay you up front today. I can pay the entire bill if you can wait until Friday.". They both have dealt with me long enough that it's always "Don't worry about it, bring him in." or "We'll be right out, don't worry about it, we know you.". But, I've been doing business with the vet school for almost 20 years, and allow them to bring a TON of students when they come out here, or allow them to do just about any non-invasive procedures they want when we go in, so the students can learn how to do things. I also let the students come out and help with foaling if they want to, otherwise, many of them may not get to see a newborn foal in their whole time at school. Same thing with the private vet, I met her as a first year student at the vet school, about 18 years ago. They all know me, my horses, where I live, my husband, where he works, and we all socialize at various things too. Having a track record with your vet really helps in the long run. 

That's one of the benefits of being in a big barn, they can get little things like a fee waiver because of volume of clients. Or splitting the farm calls with multiple clients if it isn't totally waived. And having educational clinics is always a great way to learn stuff too.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

i hope to own my own property someday. it sounds wonderful


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

thecolorcoal said:


> i hope to own my own property someday. it sounds wonderful


LOL! TRUST ME, having 8 horses down with strangles, one in the ICU and 2 mares in the foaling barn who foaled in the middle of this whole cluster and praying they wouldn't get cross contaminated was not wonderful at all. Also the extra work of turning the big barn into a "Dirty QT" barn and keeping the foaling barn a "Clean QT" barn, and making sure "dirty" horses never passed over "clean" ground to get to "dirty" pastures, all during the heat of a brutal summer just about broke me. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. It was a disaster. But the costs of that little escapade were horrendous. Nobody has enough emergency money to deal with that, and I don't know if Care Credit would even issue a card in an amount sufficient to cover all that treatment. It wasn't so much the cost of the QT materials or the initial diagnosis that was so awful, but EVERY horse had to culture clear 3X before the farm quarantine was lifted. So that was 30 scopes and 30 cultures and that didn't even include Skippy's hospitalization in a QT ICU. I went through more Banamine that summer than I have in the last 20 years, and more Nolvasan.......HOLY MOLY! I never want to see that kind of thing on this place again.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

the state quarantine for our ehv barn was pretty bad too. but interestingly enough our barn did NOT take it hyperseriously. the two horses who were sick were sent to the state university clinic and the horse who survived got a whopping 8500 vet bill (COUGH, BARN OWNERS PAID FOR *THAT* BILL!).


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## twixy79 (Jul 8, 2017)

I agree with a few of the other posters about its nice to split the farm visit call amongst a few owners BUT we have one owner at our barn who will wait for the vet to show up to say, oh doc, can you just look at so and so's rash, and then play the "well I didn't call, he was already here" card. Now MOST of the owners at our barn, I'd gladly cover the expense for them because we are friendly and I know they'd do the same for me. But that one owner, she is the richest one there and clearly has gotten there by being a cheap you know what... 

As far as the whole vet cost, its expensive. A farm call is 100, out barn requires all healthy horses to have a slew of vaccinations because one horse is deathly allergic, and inmunoconpronised. Dukes first vet was over 1300, plus his hock injections 2 months later for another 700, follow up exams, follow up xrays, farrier visit every 4 weeks, two unplanned emergency calls because, well I was totally uneducated on horse health. Now we know how much things can be when they go wrong and we try to prepare. We put money for board and vet expenses in a separate account, and put extra in there with each check. It adds up surprisingly quickly when you aren't focusing on it 

I know how stressful money related stuff can be. But look at her as an investment in yourself. Yes, I know horses are an investment that will never pay you back financially, but think of everything else you get our of her!

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

@twixy79, i actually downloaded a budgeting app. I was in the red again and again every month. now i know exactly where these bills are going. i have cut my food budget WAY back. Changed the grain budget and feeding regiment to save some money. Removed some extra training things i don't need and STARTED a savings account finally. I just did the math - I will be prepared for our vet bill in september.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

thecolorcoal said:


> @twixy79, i actually downloaded a budgeting app. I was in the red again and again every month. now i know exactly where these bills are going. i have cut my food budget WAY back. Changed the grain budget and feeding regiment to save some money. Removed some extra training things i don't need and STARTED a savings account finally. I just did the math - I will be prepared for our vet bill in september.


Dave Ramsey is fond of saying, "When you have an Emergency Fund, Murphy rarely comes to call. When you don't, he moves into the spare bedroom and is harder to get rid of than your mother in law.".


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## mmshiro (May 3, 2017)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> Dave Ramsey is fond of saying, "When you have an Emergency Fund, Murphy rarely comes to call. When you don't, he moves into the spare bedroom and is harder to get rid of than your mother in law.".


I don't think that's true. It's just that your emotional response to unexpected expenses changes when you have reserves.


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

I feel you. I'm like... not down by nearly £5k due to vet bills and upcoming scans etc this month alone. Nope nope. I'm totally not. Thank goodness for an insurance buffer.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

Now that I got my rant out of the way, making a quick phone post to brag about our AMAZING trail ride today with Robin and her horse Kitty. Kitty is an older mare who was put out to pasture and is now getting ready to sell. Robin’s putting a month or two on her under saddle. She comes from a western pleasure/reining background. Her stall is right next to mine. She thinks the story of Tyra and I is interesting and is going to help us be more confident out on the trails.

Today we went on the shorter property loop. We worked on Tyra being ok with horses in front and behind. I told robin about the bucking. “you’ll probably never be able to fix that,” she said. “She’s a thoroughbred. Expect that.” It helped,because if I know these instances are just what happens I can learn how to sit and react to them better.

We got to a long stretch of rough terrain and robin asked for me to trot. Cautiously I did. Tyra was fairly reluctant to start. Usually I am hauling on her mouth asking her to hold back, but today I wanted her in a new gait. I knew she wouldn’t bolt but sometimes she can go like a standardbred and trot trot trot away without a stop in the world! 

She was AMAZING! We went way further than robin originally expected and trotted the entire trail length home. When we came back to a walk Tyra was willing to come back to me. I was in awe. IF the x rays show bad news robin and I are confident Tyra will make an excellent trail horse. Tomorrow we try the full trail!


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Rough terrain makes the horse think and is also (probably) fun for the horse. Fun for us, too!


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

I LOVE trail riding and don't get to do it nearly often enough to suit me! Glad you're re-discovering the joys of train riding.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

i return to report some interesting news, regarding tyra's leg and a sad bit about our farrier.

today had highs and lows, about 50/50 on each side. This morning started out with an appointment with my farrier, who has shod my horse for two straight years. I have had a total of 5 farrier work on tyra, and after one severely lamed her I remain reserved about switching too often. Our current farrier knows her entire medical and soundness history. All in all, he is a good guy but has severe anger management problems. He is quick to assume horses are out to hurt him and if he doesn't cover his butt he will get hurt. while i understand being a farrier is a dangerous profession, sometimes his reactions and expectations are just... extreme. 

Tyra has a lot of trust issues with farrier and people and I am constantly trying get her comfortable with others. Her and Tim do not get along. I trust her instincts and intuition, but while I know very well how much Tyra hates our farrier, he has also been able to keep her sound the longest. No, he's not the best, but he's not the worst and he gives me a great rate. He was the apprentice of one of the top farriers in our state. His approach is slow and steady and will take as it takes to get the job done correctly. My farrier sees his job as more of an art than a science.

However, Tyra has a lot of wonky back end issues. She cannot tolerate standing still for long periods of time. Holding her leg cocked out causes her numbness and pain. She often pulls back - slowly - but it terrifies Tim and over the years his reactions have been as extreme as his mood swings. Some appointments he is on top of the world, other times he is stressed and has little patience for my special needs horse.

Today he took things too far, and he knows next time he lets his emotions get the better of him he is fired. His money issues are apparent. Clients are dropping like flies and he is struggling to pay his bills. He can't lose me as a client - I pay on time, IN CASH, and I have given him too many breaks when others would have dropped him on the spot. I do care about him, but I also care about my horse, and as big of an a*ss as he can be as a human being, he has brought my horse back from the brinks of pasture sound. 

Tyra doesn't like the hammer going quickly on her feet. The vibrations bother her. Tim must have accidentally quicked her because all of a sudden I hear screaming and Tyra's yanked her foot quickly away from him. He roars, and whirls around and hits my horse hard on the hind end with his rasp. Enough for her to bolt forward out of the cross ties and start dancing around behind me. I go to her and immediately start calming her down. I am not someone who gets visibly angry, but in a very serious and dark voice I tell him, "please don't ever hit my horse again."

"She tried to kick me!" He insists.

"No. She was scared. She has SI and stifle issues - you know this. You need to be more patient with her." I look at her croup. There is a visible mark where the seraded edge of the rasp has cut into her skin. I walk her out, and she's slightly favoring that leg. "You've lamed her."

"Give her to me," he says, his voice now quiet. I can tell he feels bad, but I am too scared he is going to wail on her, so I hold the lead tight and tell him no. He insists and reluctantly I hand him the lead rope, on edge and ready to pull her away from him.

Tim pets her nose softly. At first Tyra pulls away, but lowers her head with a soft blow of relaxation. I'm still very upset, shaking with rage as I cross my arms over my chest in an effort to contain myself. "She didn't try to kick you. She was just scared."

We put her back in the cross ties. I whisper to Tyra and pet her neck. I know her trust in people has only just blossomed, and I don't want her bad feelings of Tim to get worse. "I just don't want her to be afraid of you," I tell him. "These appointments stress me out, and that stresses her out..." 

"I know. I'm trying, I just don't want to get cut."

"I understand, but please try and be sympathetic towards her. I am doing all I can. She sees a chiro once a month. I am very attentive about her lameness. We aren't jumping anymore, so her SI should be less painful." I frown. "All they did at the track is tie her leg to a post and slap on the shoes. She'd never stood for a real farrier before I bought her."

We reset her and try again. Surprisingly, Tyra is not stressed or upset despite being hit with the rasp. Tim tries something else. Instead of slamming the nails in quickly, he gives one full second per swing of the hammer.

Magically, Tyra does not move. She doesn't even flinch. "I think we've found out what's wrong. She doesn't like it when you hammer the nails in too fast. The vibrations scare her."

Thanks, Captain Obvious.

After he finished, I did give him a $10 tip for being willing to work around her issues. We talked and I told him I was no longer upset, and that I appreciated that he was trying, but I did tell him if he ever takes a tool to Tyra again it will be his last. Her croup is OK - nothing some antibiotic ointment won't cure. 

Anyone else would have dumped his butt on the spot. But I am not willing to go through a new relationship with a farrier I don't know and who doesn't know Tyra. 

Now that the sesamoid is on my mind, I decided to take a break from the arena and go on some more trail adventures. We are currently practicing the long on-property trail. It has two great canter spots and quite a few long paths for trotting. To the left is an open field unclaimed, and to the right is the retirement pasture. The pasture is for retirees ONLY, and retirees of previously sound horses that boarded on the farm. These horses are not allowed to be ridden - they tell me it is because they want it as a pure retirement board.

I was able to take Tyra on a long rein the entire ride. Not a single spook. Her version of spooking is a muscle tremble underneath me. Anything bigger than that and it's serious business. My own attitude REALLY makes a difference. If I sit deep, relaxed and loose, the spooking NEVER escalates past a moment of hesitation and tension. Forward is the secret. When tyra is unsure, she will balk and suck back. Kicking her on and making sure our pace is lively prevents any naughty behavior.

The first loop we walked, the second loop we trotted. I tried to incorporate some collected work, but she was in heat and her back wasn't cooperating with us, so rounding up wasn't easy for her. All her seasonal symptoms are physical - she has almost no flirtatious or sexual behavior, only cramping and soreness along her croup and lower back. When she is in heat I must be very sensitive about my seat and my posture. Too deep and she kicks out. Too light and I lose my balance.

I decided to push the envelope. Tyra was giving me signs she was done for the day, but we had only been under saddle for less than half an hour. I decided to go down the trail the two of us knew very well, but unfortunately, today was spring cleaning for the stable hands and a ton of junk lined the path, junk that was familiar but in new positions. Pair that with commotion happening at the house below the pastures and our "worry cups" were filling fast.

I tried three times to get tyra past the junk piles. The first time I let her stop and look, and she promptly spun around before I could stop her. The second time I let her look but prevented her from backing up with my legs and reins, but that seemed to make it worse because she started throwing her head, a sign that she's serious about how she feels and that I should back off. The third time I tried to kick on and insist we move past the objects. She balked, and no matter how hard I kicked she would not move. Finally, she took three steps before promptly spinning right around and climbing the steep side of the hill to get away from the junk. It was my fault. I felt tension and nervousness creep in and dropped my assertive energy. She took full advantage and used that as a back door out of the situation I had been forcing her to face. Knowing I didn't have the emotional strength to try again, I decided I would take her word for it and let it be what it was - we would try when there wasn't so many noises to spook us both.

I took her back and tucked her in for the night, fed her grain and filled her bucket with her alfalfa cube snacks. Tomorrow I have some excellent new to share about her fracture and the vet's new take on the issue.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

#1 I would have fired the farrier and found another. I do not permit the farrier to discipline my horses, that's why I'm there holding them. If they do something bad, I'll fix it, not him. I've fired farriers for a LOT less than that guy did to your horse. 

#2 Next time, get off and lead her past whatever is bothering her, especially when you KNOW it's just familiar stuff moved to a new (threatening) position and let her figure out that it's not going to eat her when she's not in a position to dump you. 9 times out of 10, if I'll just lead them through the obstacle course, then get back on and ride them through right away, the issue resolves itself. 

Can't wait to hear what the vet says about her leg.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> #1 I would have fired the farrier and found another. I do not permit the farrier to discipline my horses, that's why I'm there holding them. If they do something bad, I'll fix it, not him. I've fired farriers for a LOT less than that guy did to your horse.


Trying to get rid of this guy is like a dog trying to shake a cling-on off... plus I have called around and I can't find anyone who will give me the same rate as him. Still trying! Still very angry about yesterday. I'm his only client at our barn so I'm easy to lose... but for some reason he makes me feel so guilty if I even try to say i'm "looking" at other possibilities. It's like trying to break up with a bad boyfriend who swears this time is the last and he'll never do it again. SIGH...

And you're right about the holding. He also will not do her unless I am there. Again he's terrified she's going to kick him which she WON'T, but she knows he is not a nice person. I definitely believe horses see deeper into people than we do. It's frustrating because he is one of the best but so many other farriers have made her lame. He's the only one who has done this reconstruction of her feet and kept her sound. I am going to try calling around and getting different opinions. He's more on an on-call base. Things ended on a weird note and we didn't schedule an appt for the next cycle. I think he's low-key telling me he's done, but I wish he would have TOLD ME to my face so I could find a new guy.

And I thought about getting off and walking her past it but that's been my default for when I get nervous. I was trying to do things under saddle which I am less comfortable with. It was more about me not feeding the beast of fear by choosing not to get off. I will definitely try again today and if we still have the same issues (which we probably will because i let her run away 3 times and now she thinks she knows the game), i'll "cheat" and get off. <3


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## KigerQueen (Jun 16, 2013)

i have smacked my horse with a rasp handle in the belly for leaning HARD on me but to leave a mark like that WITH a rasp? i have some SOUND advice for you and its what i did. learn to trim yourself. even learn to shoe yourself but if she is not in hard work barefoot should not hurt her. I only recently hires a coworker as a farrier (he is a good farrier, he just also has a day job) to trim my 4 because im pregnant and i dont have the energy to do it myself and the bigger i get, the more impossible it will be. He understood that my 33 year old, while he is more limber than horses 10 years younger, still has SOME stiffness in his hind end and cant hold his leg as high. farrier saw that, re adjusted and they got along wonderfully. my arab has some SI joint issues. so when she tried to shake her leg out of his grasp (not violently either, just im protest) he re adjusted her and they worked out well. 

dont give up!


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

thecolorcoal said:


> Trying to get rid of this guy is like a dog trying to shake a cling-on off... plus I have called around and I can't find anyone who will give me the same rate as him. Still trying! Still very angry about yesterday. I'm his only client at our barn so I'm easy to lose... but for some reason he makes me feel so guilty if I even try to say i'm "looking" at other possibilities. It's like trying to break up with a bad boyfriend who swears this time is the last and he'll never do it again. SIGH...
> 
> And you're right about the holding. He also will not do her unless I am there. Again he's terrified she's going to kick him which she WON'T, but she knows he is not a nice person. I definitely believe horses see deeper into people than we do. It's frustrating because he is one of the best but so many other farriers have made her lame. He's the only one who has done this reconstruction of her feet and kept her sound. I am going to try calling around and getting different opinions. He's more on an on-call base. Things ended on a weird note and we didn't schedule an appt for the next cycle. I think he's low-key telling me he's done, but I wish he would have TOLD ME to my face so I could find a new guy.
> 
> And I thought about getting off and walking her past it but that's been my default for when I get nervous. I was trying to do things under saddle which I am less comfortable with. It was more about me not feeding the beast of fear by choosing not to get off. I will definitely try again today and if we still have the same issues (which we probably will because i let her run away 3 times and now she thinks she knows the game), i'll "cheat" and get off. <3


Here's the thing with these 'anger management' guys. They'll promise you the moon and stars and then will lose it and beat your horse again. Conceivably, he could lose his temper and take it out on you too. When you say, "Next time ......... is the last time." and you don't follow through, you have given him permission to mistreat your horse because he knows you won't do anything about it. The last farrier I had that I couldn't warm up to drugged my mare without my permission. This mare has always been an angel for the farrier but this guy......not. She never would stand properly for him and I was going to let him go if we had issues again that day. She started to dance and I was just ready to say, "OK this isn't working out. Thank you for your time." and let him go when she all of a sudden dropped her head and got all slack lipped. I said, "What did you do to my horse?" and he said, "I gave her detomidine to make her behave." That was the end of it. Leave it to say that he left running down my driveway, left his coat and tools and never came back for them. I had warned him once about being too rough with them the last time he came and then he did that. END OF STORY. I've seen him around, and he's still a very good farrier with lots of knowledge but he will NEVER touch one of my horses again. 

What you need to do with your mare is, don't let her get scared to begin with. Once she goes "up" then you go "UP-ER" and she reads your body language and she escalates. Don't even try to ride past the stuff today, walk her up to each pile let her sniff and get over it. THEN get on her and ride her through. You have to let go of your distrust for it to work though. If you tense up even a little bit, she's going to feel it and act accordingly. And I KNOW this is all a lot easier to say than to do. I still have flashbacks to my bad accidents when Patti gets "up" about something. What I've learned to do is to redirect her feet until she puts her attention back on me, not go near whatever was scary, until she's focused on me AND I have let go of any tension. Then we walk past it as many times as it takes. And it may take a while. You may have to walk up to the first pile 10 times before she'll go past it. An exercise that I like is to do circles. Start out with a small circle far enough away that she's not bothered and then increase your circles so that she walks closer to the pile every time, but don't make the pile the focus. Make riding with her slightly flexed and turning so she crosses her hind legs over and steps way up under herself your focus. Just every time you try the circle, move it 1 or 2 feet closer to the "boogey pile" until she's circling right by it and doesn't even notice it. Then move so she's circling around the "boogey pile" and work on getting closer to the next one once the first one is not an issue anymore.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

I meant to add, there's no such thing as "cheating" when you're working with a horse who is having fear problems, especially when you are also having fear problems. The goal is for both of you to be safe and to eventually make the scary thing not so scary. She sounds like she's always going to be finding a "boogey object" of some kind, so you're going to have to learn how to ride her startles and spooks out, but you don't have to do it all in one day. 

A thing that I have found useful for calming ME down is to go home and visualize whatever went wrong that ride. I replay in my mind the way things went wrong and concentrate on how I feel, loss of control, fear, anger, sadness, whatever went on at that moment. I practice letting go of all of it, it was in the past, I regained control, I'm no longer angry at myself for losing control, whatever I've been feeling about the incident. Then I replay the incident and go over in my mind what I will do NEXT time the horse spooks/shies/bolts/bucks/rears and how I will stay in control of the situation and I concentrate on the positive feelings that that generates. I am in control, that makes me happy, I'm not afraid, I'm not angry, I'm not sad, I'm not defeated. I do it over and over until I can replay the incident without any response to it at all. 

When I first started doing that with the accident, I would suck back in the chair, get very rigid, and I'd shake and tear up and start chewing on my cuticles. As time went on, I found I could replay it and not have the emotional and physical responses to it. Then I started thinking of how I might have shut down a horse that does that in the future. I play in my mind that I finished dismounting and was on the ground when he bolted, thus I never got hurt. I sat down hard and pulled his head around to my knee (one rein stop) and shut him down before he hit the end of the arena. I was able to turn him and let him run himself out. All things that COULD have happened to give me a better outcome if something like that happens again. Because bottom line, at 61 years old, I am not going to be doing the "flying dismount" again. My poor beat old body just can't take that again. 

The other day, we were riding in the indoor and someone kicked a stall wall and it scared Patti. She squirted underneath me and took off (very slowly and in control compared to the horse that hurt me) and I was able to sit down, pump one rein and get her flexed and started pumping half halts and it only took about 3 little half halts and she stopped dead. Never offered to bolt/buck or anything at all. She took about 3 running steps and it was over. And you know what? I had a mini flashback to the accident, but I immediately applied the fixes that I hadn't been able to during the accident and it solved the problem. I also was not shaking, wasn't crying, wasn't hyperventilating and I never needed to get off of her. In the beginning, when I first started riding again, I had to get off and "ground" myself very literally. This time I rode it out and discovered that I was A-OK with what just happened. My trainer wanted to pop a bottle of champagne she was so happy. It WAS a pretty big moment. Point is, I never felt like I was "cheating" when I had to get off the horse. Better I get off, process what just happened and get back on, than to have another negative incident and keep having negative incidents, until I decided to quit riding all together. And that's exactly what I don't want, to quit riding.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

@Dreamcatcher Arabians, thanks dreamie. that makes me feel better. my former cohorts made me feel extremely guilty for getting off and being weak. It's nice to know I can now.

I am so frustrated and angry I could spit. I don't know who I am madder at, myself or Tyra. Today was just a total clustercluck of crud. I think the reason she is being so difficult is she is in heat. She's been kicking out her back leg a lot when she's standing, and that's a symptom that her hind end is a bit sore. I know these signs, I also know when it's a colic kick vs. an ulcer kick vs. a heat kick. 

This horse is probably the best thing and the worst thing that ever happened to me. I was going to write a post today about my stall cleaning, but I'm in a mood and upset so I will write about our ride today. Getting to ride my friend's "problem child" of a mare really made me see what end of the scale tyra is. If Missy is considered "hard" by most standards and difficult to train, Tyra must be near impossible. Missy was a BREEZE. This mare's version of intimidation is to throw her head up and trot very fast, but the minute you ask for collection it's a short conversation. This mare can EASILY be kicked and bullied into submission - not that I was, I was just noticing this. it took very little effort on my part to get her into an engaged jog. Missy threw a few threatening buck humps but sending her forward ended the conversation like that. With tyra, going forward only encourages MORE problems. It's like all the doors are closed, you will listen to what she says or you are quickly ejected from her back.

Riding Tyra is a privilege, not a right, and you must earn your badge and place in her "good book." As bizarre as it sounds, I swear to you it's the truth. If missy, a horse who i'd never been on, gave me a "fight" and gave me allowance into her horsey mind just like that? What does that say about Tyra?

It almost makes me want to cry, because of how much I have to grovel and beg and plead with her just to get her to do basic riding maneuvers for me. Walk to trot? Maybe. But if she suspects you are in any kind of "do it or else" mind set, she won't trot. Use the dressage whip? "Oh, you wanted a trot? OK. Let me show you how the standardbreds do it. Oh, is this too fast for you? Well you wanted a trot. Ok then, if you're done... BYE BYE!" and she will promptly explode into a bucking fit. and I mean EXPLODE. You have no time to disengage any body part. It's ride her into a wall or hang on and wait for her to stop. If you're lucky, she won't twist and REALLY get you off.

I have done every single ulcer treatment. Saddle fit. EVERYTHING. Once you can prove to her your intentions are not harmful, she will allow you GRACIOUSLY into her life. 

She is the most opinionated, trust-forsaken, emotionally injured and damaged horse I have ever, ever had the pleasure/mispleasure of encountering. 

I'll never give up on her. I know at this point most would sell her on. But I LOVE her.* I love her so, so much.* And I have come too far to throw in the towel now. 

So I will wait. And I will stay. And as I write this I am crying because I can only hope one day, she opens her eyes and sees I'm still here. After everyone else has left her and let her down, _I'm still here._ And I'll always be here, to take care of her and feed her and treat her injuries. I'm never going to abuse her or hurt her. I wish this horse could talk, because I am sure there is a lot she could say, a lot we are better off not knowing.

I feel like mustangs on the wild range find trust in humans quicker than this horse has. I am so sorry, Tyra, that humans have let you down. But this human isn't. One day when i am a rich woman I will build a barn in her honor, with a beautiful and cozy stall leading to the most gorgeous pasture she's ever witnessed.

I have trust issues too, and I know how hard it is to let go and open your heart again. I love her with every fiber of my being and I show her every day. Little by little I am chipping away at the stone that has become her soul. 

Hopefully will have better news to report tomorrow.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

thecolorcoal said:


> @Dreamcatcher Arabians, thanks dreamie. that makes me feel better. my former cohorts made me feel extremely guilty for getting off and being weak. It's nice to know I can now.
> 
> I am so frustrated and angry I could spit. I don't know who I am madder at, myself or Tyra. Today was just a total clustercluck of crud. I think the reason she is being so difficult is she is in heat. She's been kicking out her back leg a lot when she's standing, and that's a symptom that her hind end is a bit sore. I know these signs, I also know when it's a colic kick vs. an ulcer kick vs. a heat kick.
> 
> ...


#1 Anyone who belittles you for doing what you need to do to feel safe needs to be kicked forcefully to the curb, pronto. No excuses, no "I didn't mean it"s, just get gone now. It is never acceptable to belittle or denigrate someone who is having fear issues. When anyone opens their mouth like that around me, I hop off and hand them the reins. 99.999% of the time they say, "What? I'M not going to ride that mare!". The .001% who actually will try to ride her get dumped. Put up or shut up and get out of my space. 

#2 Let go of the anger and frustration. That's never going to be a place where you and she will make progress. If you suspect she's sore, then give her some bute or banamine or don't ride her. She's not going to learn if she's hurting. 

#3 My first horse ever was an OTTB who had a beast of a jockey and had retaliated. They were going to put him "on the truck". My parents saw how he was with me and decided to keep him, and we did amazing things together. He was NOT an easy horse by any means. He bolted, he bucked, he shied, he reared and then he jumped. Oh my could that boy jump! Once we started jumping together, all the bad behavior quit. He would jump for the joy of it. He is the horse I rode on trails, swam in the lake with, raced out on dirt roads in the desert, rode on a 25 mile March of Dimes Walkathon, showed on Saturday, trail rode on Sunday and then rode him to school on Monday. But it took YEARS for us to develop that kind of relationship and you NEVER ever could pull back with both reins. So when I tell you to sit down, tell her Whoa, and start getting her flexed, I'm talking from BTDT. When I quit riding OTTBs and switched to Arabs, they were a cakewalk in comparison, but a lot of the lessons I learned on Boozer still applied. 

#4 Riding ANY horse worth their salt is a privilege and not a right. You have to convince them that you are worthy. The beat down old geldings will allow anyone to ride them, a blood horse knows who she is and knows who and what she'll allow and what she won't. You have to come up to their standards and find what they love to do. Once you do that, then things will calm down considerably. Notice I never said perfect, that's just not going to happen. Especially with an opinionated mare. 

#5 Horses live in the moment. She's not being abused now and she's being fed well now and that is all that matters to her. She doesn't care if you're "there" for her, she cares that you treat her fairly. And yes, sometimes being fair means giving her a good kick or whipping. Not past the point of no return, but a good swift, "I'M IN CHARGE HERE!" thing, the way a more dominant herd mate would do it. "Hurt them before they hurt you" is the antiquated old way of doing things that got more horses and people hurt than you can count. Be as soft as you can be and as hard as you MUST be to let the horse know that you are in charge. 

#6 My Patti is very much like Tyra, and I've had her since she was a weanling, so I KNOW she's never been abused or mistreated. She can get very emotional and when worried she gets UP. Her head goes up, she swells up until she feels like an 18 hand WB instead of a 16 hh Saddlebred. She gets BIG and then her stride gets BIG or conversely, if I grab her face, she minces and takes eensy teensy steps (which makes her very hard to ride). When she drops that head and gets round, ohmygosh, there is no bigger pleasure than to ride her. When she gets emotional, we can seriously have some dancing going on. She'll paw, she'll go backwards, she'll go in circles, she'll sweat, she'll blow and when we've worked thought it all, she'll put her head down and blow out and then we go on as if nothing has happened. I absolutely wouldn't trade her for all of King Midas's gold. She is one of 2 horses that has NEVER been for sale. So, I get where you're coming from with Tyra. But quit trying to put human memories, emotions on her, she is a horse and thinks like a horse does. Let her be her bossy, opinionated self. Learn to work with that horse and learn to trust that she might have something worthwhile to say. She is never going to lay down and quit being a boss mare, it's just not who she was bred to be.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

@Dreamcatcher Arabians, your post was very heartfelt. You might find my feelings a bit ridiculous and yes I’m amphomorphizing this situation but I do that with all my animals. People who think animals react solely based on instinct alone are ignorant and blocking themselves off to the feelings and emotions of another creature. It’s the same as saying “people are going to think what they think and I can’t do anything about it.” That’s an excuse not to change, not to do better, because you can’t or aren’t willing to get into the psyche of someone who is upset at you or who you don’t agree with. Until you are able to open yourself to the possibility of mentally walking in someone else’s shoes you will remain angry and resentful of people who upset you.

Whenever something happened that she didn’t like or didn’t understand my old barn owner used to throw her hands up and say “it is what it is” and leave it at that. I found it a huge cop out. It was an excuse for her not to try and understand the situation or make it better, an excuse not to change.

People who believe the world should revolve around them instead of finding a way to at least help the world keep spinning are the ones I want to specifically direct this reply to.

Most of us who were raised around horses or rode horses young were taught that you > the horse. It wasn’t a partnership, it was a dictatorship. The horse has to listen 100%. The horse wasn’t allowed to have an opinion or disagree with their rider. 

Then you have the opposite end of the spectrum where humans believe too strongly that the horse should be the dominant personality in the relationship. The horse as a creature has been suppressed or oppressed by humans and deserves to be set free and liberated, spiritually or otherwise. Riding is cruel. HorseCare also is cruel but necessary to enjoy the animal you love. If the horse has an opinion, ie drag you to a patch of grass, you just go with them because they have a voice and should be listened to.

I would say I fall somewhere in the middle. If the right is 100% subservience and the left is 100% freedom, id be more left leaning. I believe horses are individuals first and should at most strive to be partners, not subjects. There are those I know who feel a horse should be completely submissive, like the lady who helped me work with Tyra, and then those who gave the horse too much liberty, like my friend who almost got killed by her 4 year old ottb baby because she refused to set down the relationship rules with him, and he took full advantage of her weakness.

I’ve been riding a long time. Not as long as some people on this forum, but that’s only because I am not that old. I’ve gone from believing you can beat the horse into doing anything to becoming a lot like my friend, to finally swinging somewhere in the middle. People say animals live in the moment, but how do you explain the rescue dog who, after 4 years with its loving family, still hides at the jingling sound of his owner threading a belt through the keepers on his jeans? Or the bird who plucks his feathers even after being given toys and freedom out of his cage? Or the child who grows into a man after surviving a horrifically abusive household, and then begins beating his wife? Is it really that hard to believe that trauma affects more than just people?

Tyra is long out of her race training, but when she was born it was all she knew. It’s all she was bred to know. If a horse is jogging at 2 mph ahead of us, the excuse to “catch up” isn’t the first thing that jumps to mind. That horse had jogged ahead of us on different parts of the trail and Tyra barely lifted her head out of her walk.

It was because she jogged by the scary junk pile. Suddenly it become imperative that we stay with the jogging horse, because this specific spot meant danger. but ANY spot on the trail could be “dangerous,” but Tyra wasn’t convinced it was something to worry about because I was not tense.

She was the only tense being out of 4 next to the junk pile. She didn’t care how relaxed and chill I was. I had totally forgotten about the junk pile and truly believed she would be as calm as she was on the other parts of the trail.

But she was CONVINCED this was a dangerous place. And it didn’t matter how I felt about it, if I didn’t share her fear she’d leave me in the dust to get away.

And that is what I am talking about. There are moments when she trusts me, and moments when she only trusts herself. And where I continue to get upset is at the notion that “give it time, she will come around” or “you need to have her submit to you.” 

I’ve given her time and I am not willing to break her spirit. The next option is to learn how to deal with her insecurities and WAIT for her to realize that she doesn’t have to be “boss mare” anymore. She is actually very low on the pasture hierarchy. In shows nothing fazes her. New places don’t spook her. This behavior isolates itself to trail riding, and even more specifically the RARE moment where she is convinced she can’t be saved.

Most horses will look to their human for guidance and comfort. This horse does not.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

@thecolorcoal I don't find anything you say ridiculous. I do find that you're anthropomorphizing the horse and making excuses for bad behavior (the farrier & horse). What I'm saying to you is not that she can't have some PTSD from the track, she certainly can. Boozer sure did. He never allowed another male on his back after he got me. He'd toss 'em in a heartbeat. They do have learned behaviors from past trauma. What I'm saying though is, she's not being abused now, so don't treat her like she's broken. The more you do, the more she will be. 

Every horse is different. Some are different from year to year, some from day to day and others from minute to minute. You have to learn to ride that horse that you're astride at that moment. NO horse will ever be the PERFECT horse. A horse is a living, breathing, sentient creature who loves, hates, fears and can be brave in the face of fear, and is amazingly adaptable to the demands we put on it. Think about it. A herd animal who was born to be prey to some predator allows a predator to climb on its back (the position another predator would take to kill it) and then lets said predator ride it away from its safety zone. And then something happens. An animal pops up out of nowhere, a shiny gum wrapper comes blowing down the trail (aggressively running at the horse), somebody lets go of a load of buckshot in close proximity, there's a pile of stuff in an area where it's never been before, you fill in the blanks with whatever scenario works for you, and that horse with the predator on its back, loses it for a minute or 2. The surprise is that it hasn't lost it earlier, more often and for longer duration. They are hardwired to run first and ask questions later. That's kept them alive for 1000s of years. It isn't ever going to completely be erased, which is why most old horse people will tell you that there's no such thing as a bomb proof horse. EVERY horse will blow under the right set of circumstances. We just have to learn to mitigate the circumstances and deal with the blow up when it happens. 

NO horse will look to its rider for guidance 100% of the time. Not gonna happen. And ESPECIALLY when that rider is as green on trail as the horse, the horse is going to act first and question 2nd. And in that instance, yes, you're going to get left in the dust if you try to fight that battle right then. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to ride it out and circle back to the scary thing and work on it from a safe distance. That horse WILL walk through fire for you but a pool noodle on an obstacle over head may cause her to come unhinged. Totally makes NO sense to us, but that's just the way it is. So, we buy pool noodles and put them in various places and configurations and work past the fear with the horse. And then you'll ride past a broken branch hanging out of a tree and the horse will lose it again. EVEN IF YOU'RE RELAXED and not tensed up. And based on everything you've said about your feeling on trail, I'm going to say that your relaxed is still tense compared to how you ride in the arena. She reads that. And if the predator is scared, then the prey better be REALLY scared. 

Your horse is anxious and insecure and because you are fearful when out on trail, she's not looking for you to be her leader because in horse logic, you're more scared than she is so she's gotta step up and keep both of you safe. And sometimes that's not a bad thing. Patti and I got in a discussion once where she absolutely would not, beat me til my hair falls off still not gonna, cross this big muddy patch and we had to go back quite a ways to find a way around it. Well, it's a good thing I lost that argument, turns out the mud patch was really quicksand. She trusts me, most of the time she'll do what I say and do it happily, but when she doesn't I've learned to listen. I've also learned that I still have to desensitize her to things every day. And she still gets scared. When that horse kicked the wall yesterday, she squirted out from under me and was on her way AWAY from whatever it was, but when I sat down and started pumping the brakes, she came back to me and we got stopped. But her FIRST inclination was to run and she did. She didn't stop and say, "HIMMM that was a scary noise. Hay Human what should I do?". She ran, then let me tell her it's ok, nothing is chasing you, nothing is going to eat you. But I had to stick with her to get her to do that. 

I don't believe in breaking any horse's spirit, I find that to practically be a criminal offense. She may just be too high strung to be a good trail horse. Back in the day, I had Lady B and I used to say she was the best and the worst trail horse ever. Best because she could go all day in any terrain under any conditions. Worst because she really was happier in the arena where she wouldn't get mud on her pedicure and where she KNEW there were no Boogers waiting to jump out at her. Every trail ride on her was an adventure and every time I swore was the last one. I finally found another Arab who LOVED going out and exploring and let Lady stay home and only rode her in the arena and at shows. We were both happier. 

I agree with most of the others that you're over horsed with Tyra. I don't think that's an incurable situation, but I do think you need to realize that you have what you have and that may never change, so you will have to. You're going to have to learn to deal with her idiosyncrasies and ride it out, in the process improving your riding abilities a lot from where they are today, and growing your confidence in you AND her. In the long run, she's going to make a lot better rider out of you. But you're going to have to let go of your preconceptions and frustrations and anger or you're not going to learn anything. You may end up deciding that she's just not a trail horse. There's nothing wrong with that.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> I agree with most of the others that you're over horsed with Tyra. I don't think that's an incurable situation, but I do think you need to realize that you have what you have and that may never change, so you will have to. You're going to have to learn to deal with her idiosyncrasies and ride it out, in the process improving your riding abilities a lot from where they are today, and growing your confidence in you AND her. In the long run, she's going to make a lot better rider out of you. But you're going to have to let go of your preconceptions and frustrations and anger or you're not going to learn anything. You may end up deciding that she's just not a trail horse. There's nothing wrong with that.



This is exactly my point and where I need help. I don't know how. Some days I know what I am doing and others I am completely lost. I don't know who to turn to for advice. Is it training? Is it books? Is it this forum?


I just want to find a way we can work as a team together. I am someone who must understand things to their molecular level in order to finally accept them. And there are things I am just not understanding about this horse. I need someone to talk me through what is happening and why. That is why I always become upset and post, I just need someone with experience and knowledge to sit me down and tell me why a b and c happened. That's why I am jumping to human psychology - it is what I understand. If I can speak of tyra in that way maybe I will finally get some insight into the situation.


I don't think the answer is a bigger bit, or an anti-buck device, or a running martingale, or rollkuring her, or suppressing her in some way. I could do that, I could MAKE her manageable on the trails, but it would ruin the trust and relationship we have built and eventually she would turn on me. They all do.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

thecolorcoal said:


> This is exactly my point and where I need help. I don't know how. Some days I know what I am doing and others I am completely lost. I don't know who to turn to for advice. Is it training? Is it books? Is it this forum?
> 
> 
> I just want to find a way we can work as a team together. I am someone who must understand things to their molecular level in order to finally accept them. And there are things I am just not understanding about this horse. I need someone to talk me through what is happening and why. That is why I always become upset and post, I just need someone with experience and knowledge to sit me down and tell me why a b and c happened. That's why I am jumping to human psychology - it is what I understand. If I can speak of tyra in that way maybe I will finally get some insight into the situation.
> ...


You need a real, Swear To God, professional trainer who will give you some lessons and teach you how to handle your horse. Not some backyardigan who THINKS they know how to ride and handle a horse, a true pro. Even 1 lesson/week would help you immensely. 

Human psychology will never work on the horse, they just don't think like us. What you CAN do though, is to learn about how they DO think and how to work within those parameters. We can help you some here on the forum and you can read a lot, but 90% of riding is not head knowledge, it's muscle memory from doing things over and over and over again. 10% is head knowledge and in the thick of things, isn't going to be real useful to you at that moment. Getting the right feel in your seat bones, seeing how she reacts to being flexed and having you use a half halt on her, suppling her, and things like that will teach you the way your horse reacts. Learning how to control each part of the horse, head, neck, shoulders, rib cage, hip, hind quarter and being able to get that horse to move those when asked will do a lot for you to feel in control. 

You can use all the gimics in the world and they'll work for a bit, but when you take them off, you're usually right back at square one.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

@Dreamcatcher Arabians




> Your horse is anxious and insecure and because you are fearful when out on trail, she's not looking for you to be her leader because in horse logic, you're more scared than she is so she's gotta step up and keep both of you safe. And sometimes that's not a bad thing. Patti and I got in a discussion once where she absolutely would not, beat me til my hair falls off still not gonna, cross this big muddy patch and we had to go back quite a ways to find a way around it. Well, it's a good thing I lost that argument, turns out the mud patch was really quicksand. She trusts me, most of the time she'll do what I say and do it happily, but when she doesn't I've learned to listen. I've also learned that I still have to desensitize her to things every day. And she still gets scared. When that horse kicked the wall yesterday, she squirted out from under me and was on her way AWAY from whatever it was, but when I sat down and started pumping the brakes, she came back to me and we got stopped. But her FIRST inclination was to run and she did. She didn't stop and say, "HIMMM that was a scary noise. Hay Human what should I do?". She ran, then let me tell her it's ok, nothing is chasing you, nothing is going to eat you. But I had to stick with her to get her to do that.



This is my experience with most horses. They spook, you bring them back. Easy, right? I've never had a problem getting a horse back to me because at the end of the day they are still waiting on me to help them. It is a horrible, helpless feeling knowing all your "WHOA"s and half halts aren't doing a darn thing, because they aren't looking to you for support. They've already decided, in their horsey brain, you're not worth listening to. 



As I reflect, thinking of all the things that happen on the trails, I can confirm I don't think I am EVER the leader on the trails. Tyra is 100% in charge. Not in a bad way, I just allow her to be the scout, the lookout, the decision maker. And I believe that must be where the trouble lies.


In the arena? I'm #1. Sorry, Ty, but you don't get to have opinions out here. That must be why she is so good for me in the arena. 



Should I start riding her out on the trails Like i would in the arena? Just treat it as an extension of arena work? IE contact, collection, high expectations? I thought trail riding would be an opportunity for her to have some freedom and generally I do trust her intuition. She is an animal after all, a horse, and is more in tune with nature than me.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> You need a real, Swear To God, professional trainer who will give you some lessons and teach you how to handle your horse. Not some backyardigan who THINKS they know how to ride and handle a horse, a true pro. Even 1 lesson/week would help you immensely.
> 
> Human psychology will never work on the horse, they just don't think like us. What you CAN do though, is to learn about how they DO think and how to work within those parameters. We can help you some here on the forum and you can read a lot, but 90% of riding is not head knowledge, it's muscle memory from doing things over and over and over again. 10% is head knowledge and in the thick of things, isn't going to be real useful to you at that moment. Getting the right feel in your seat bones, seeing how she reacts to being flexed and having you use a half halt on her, suppling her, and things like that will teach you the way your horse reacts. Learning how to control each part of the horse, head, neck, shoulders, rib cage, hip, hind quarter and being able to get that horse to move those when asked will do a lot for you to feel in control.
> 
> You can use all the gimics in the world and they'll work for a bit, but when you take them off, you're usually right back at square one.



I think we finally have that kind of trainer. FINALLY. Thank you so much dreamy for your support and advice. I'm starting to realize what the problem is. Again, it's hard to change. I am quite good when I have an "all or nothing" mentality. I know how to wrangle and wrestle a horse into submission. I am trying something new, something that doesn't involve beating the horse until it's terrified. That's my background and I want to break away from that.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

thecolorcoal said:


> @Dreamcatcher Arabians
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The horse is never in charge. YOU are always in charge and the horse has to accept that. That doesn't mean you won't consider input from the horse, you can and should because like the quicksand example, sometimes they just know what they know and you don't. But that's less than 1% of the ride. You must always RIDE and DRIVE. Being a passenger on a horse who is not a dead head is asking for broken bones or worse. Even on the deadest sided, dead head, you can STILL get in trouble if you're no more than a passenger. 

YES, you should ride her on the trail just like you do in the arena. When I am out on trail I am still training. I call the arena the classroom where we learn and the trail is the real life application of the skills we've learned and practiced. Hence why I suggest things like Conveyor Belt, serpentines, halt & back up, sidepass (to open and close gates), leg yields, everything you do in the arena translates to a skill you need on the trail. You have to learn to apply the necessary skill set and LEAD the horse. That doesn't mean she's never going to spook or bolt again, far from it. But you'll have a better chance of surviving any shenanigans if you have firmly established who's in control and who's in charge before you get to that point. 

I know all about bolting horses who don't listen to WHOA and half halts and such, which is why I keep repeating to practice them in the arena until they are 2nd nature to you and the horse. A horse who bolted, bucked like a rodeo bronc (I stuck that part), didn't have a one rein stop, and set his neck and jaw so that I literally could not pull his head around to my knee, and who didn't even feel my spur as I tried to get him to yield his hind quarter, who ran us right through the end of a big pipe corral arena is what got me so injured I couldn't ride for years and why I still have flash backs to this day. I would certainly spare you that kind of a wreck if I can.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> I know all about bolting horses who don't listen to WHOA and half halts and such, which is why I keep repeating to practice them in the arena until they are 2nd nature to you and the horse. A horse who bolted, bucked like a rodeo bronc (I stuck that part), didn't have a one rein stop, and set his neck and jaw so that I literally could not pull his head around to my knee, and who didn't even feel my spur as I tried to get him to yield his hind quarter, who ran us right through the end of a big pipe corral arena is what got me so injured I couldn't ride for years and why I still have flash backs to this day. I would certainly spare you that kind of a wreck if I can.



How can i re-create a bolting situation in the arena though? How can I re-create these spooky situations in an arena? do I just canter her and pretend like that is the "bolt" and then one-rein stop from there? Sorry, legit question, i think that is where i am getting stuck?


I watched a lot of ross jacobs videos, he re-iterates a lot of this. Horses are always asking who is in charge. I am nervous that my "in charge" is going to be too hard-handed and rough... I had and/or have the mentality that it is like a child walking into the woods with a parent. When they are scared, they run and hide behind the mother's legs, giving the parent the leadership role. But what seems to be the truth with horses is that when scared, the child will just run blindly into the forest away from the parent.


Is this somewhat accurate?


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

thecolorcoal said:


> I am quite good when I have an "all or nothing" mentality. I know how to wrangle and wrestle a horse into submission. I am trying something new, something that doesn't involve beating the horse until it's terrified. That's my background and I want to break away from that.


If you honestly think you can wrangle and wrestle a 1200 lb animal into submission, I'll be sending flowers to your funeral. That's a fight you will not win someday. I agree, I grew up in the beat 'em til they cry era and I hated it then (and refused to do things that way) and I hate it still. I'm not afraid to lay one on 'em if they're being downright rude and disrespectful, but the beating is never ok. I learned that I could get a whole lot more out of a horse if I'd back off and go slow and break things down into little pieces and get each little piece right before I attempted the whole. I found I rarely had to get "big" or "strong" with a horse, and I gravitate to horse that that kind of behavior would just shut them down anyhow, so it's not effective. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of "cowboys" and "yahoos" out there who still think if a crop doesn't work go get a 2X4 and if that doesn't work go get a 4x4.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> If you honestly think you can wrangle and wrestle a 1200 lb animal into submission, I'll be sending flowers to your funeral. That's a fight you will not win someday. I agree, I grew up in the beat 'em til they cry era and I hated it then (and refused to do things that way) and I hate it still. I'm not afraid to lay one on 'em if they're being downright rude and disrespectful, but the beating is never ok. I learned that I could get a whole lot more out of a horse if I'd back off and go slow and break things down into little pieces and get each little piece right before I attempted the whole. I found I rarely had to get "big" or "strong" with a horse, and I gravitate to horse that that kind of behavior would just shut them down anyhow, so it's not effective. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of "cowboys" and "yahoos" out there who still think if a crop doesn't work go get a 2X4 and if that doesn't work go get a 4x4.



There are ways to do it but it is the equivalent of metaphorically tying someone's hands and legs together and beating them as if they were free to fight. I REALLY don't like it, truly I don't. But I grew up doing it, and only after I got Tyra did i learn she wouldn't put up with that bullcrap, not ever. I tried to beat her over a jump and yeah - you can imagine how that went. I ate dirt. and I never, ever did it again. And you know what? She's become one of the best jumping horses i've ever ridden and that is why i want to keep her. She is a phenomenal arena horse and show horse.


If we can't master trails it will be sad but... I mean we can do what we can do. it's just ONE discipline, and not our main one.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

thecolorcoal said:


> How can i re-create a bolting situation in the arena though? How can I re-create these spooky situations in an arena? do I just canter her and pretend like that is the "bolt" and then one-rein stop from there? Sorry, legit question, i think that is where i am getting stuck?
> 
> 
> I watched a lot of ross jacobs videos, he re-iterates a lot of this. Horses are always asking who is in charge. I am nervous that my "in charge" is going to be too hard-handed and rough... I had and/or have the mentality that it is like a child walking into the woods with a parent. When they are scared, they run and hide behind the mother's legs, giving the parent the leadership role. But what seems to be the truth with horses is that when scared, the child will just run blindly into the forest away from the parent.
> ...


The bolt is the result of an applied stimulus. You don't want that stimulus while you teach her to respond to half halts, whoa off your seat, and taking her "head away from her" by doing small circles and getting her to cross her feet over to round her up under you. You can do all that at the walk. And do it until it sticks. When Patti starts to get UP, I tip her nose in toward the center of the arena and, since I already have contact, I just start flexing my fingers and "pumping the brakes" until she slows down, drops her head and on the circle, I can feel her feet cross over and her back come up underneath my seat. She literally can not buck or run off when we're doing that. And we started at the walk around a cone in the middle of the arena. If that's not quite enough, then I close my outside elbow to my rib cage and bring my outside hand in toward her midline, so the rein is on her neck. That balances her a little and "shuts the door" for her to run out of my aides on the inside of the circle. I have to do that more often to the right than the left, it's her weak side, as it's my weak side too. When she slows just a little, it may be drop from the canter to the trot, trot to walk, then I sit down and best way I can describe it is, tighten your butt cheeks and use the outside back of your thigh to squeeze and say, "Whoa". At first she'll probably walk through the whoa, so just keep at it until she stops and doesn't walk forward, then give her some rest. You can also count foot falls. For instance, Patti likes to take one extra step forward and kick her right hip out when I want her to stop square. I sit down, "Whoa", and tip her nose toward her right side, just a little and when she goes to step out with her hip, she meets the "closed door" of my right leg, already there an holding her in place. Then we do an exercise where I count off Left, Left, Left and make her stop when her left hind hits the ground. These are all things that will get her mind on you and get her in the habit of listening. 

And yes, you're correct about the horse. It will run into the woods, not behind momma's legs (unless it's a foal). A grown horse is hard wired to get the heck out of Dodge when things get dicey.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> The bolt is the result of an applied stimulus. You don't want that stimulus while you teach her to respond to half halts, whoa off your seat, and taking her "head away from her" by doing small circles and getting her to cross her feet over to round her up under you. You can do all that at the walk. And do it until it sticks. When Patti starts to get UP, I tip her nose in toward the center of the arena and, since I already have contact, I just start flexing my fingers and "pumping the brakes" until she slows down, drops her head and on the circle, I can feel her feet cross over and her back come up underneath my seat. She literally can not buck or run off when we're doing that. And we started at the walk around a cone in the middle of the arena. If that's not quite enough, then I close my outside elbow to my rib cage and bring my outside hand in toward her midline, so the rein is on her neck. That balances her a little and "shuts the door" for her to run out of my aides on the inside of the circle. I have to do that more often to the right than the left, it's her weak side, as it's my weak side too. When she slows just a little, it may be drop from the canter to the trot, trot to walk, then I sit down and best way I can describe it is, tighten your butt cheeks and use the outside back of your thigh to squeeze and say, "Whoa". At first she'll probably walk through the whoa, so just keep at it until she stops and doesn't walk forward, then give her some rest. You can also count foot falls. For instance, Patti likes to take one extra step forward and kick her right hip out when I want her to stop square. I sit down, "Whoa", and tip her nose toward her right side, just a little and when she goes to step out with her hip, she meets the "closed door" of my right leg, already there an holding her in place. Then we do an exercise where I count off Left, Left, Left and make her stop when her left hind hits the ground. These are all things that will get her mind on you and get her in the habit of listening.
> 
> And yes, you're correct about the horse. It will run into the woods, not behind momma's legs (unless it's a foal). A grown horse is hard wired to get the heck out of Dodge when things get dicey.



Thank you dreamy. I will work on this tonight.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

I have good news about Tyra's leg.


The X-Ray is scheduled for September 15th. I talked to my mom and dad and they have agreed to help me pay for the x-rays if I pay for the visitation fee, which is more than fair. I've been in constant contact with the vet who was able to look at the x-rays i've provided and has some super good news.


it looks like the general concern is the original diagnosis. The paperwork vet 1 gave me was not necessarily on her current condition. She says there is extensive bone remodeling of the inner proximal sesamoid bone on the right front. At the time of the x rays it didn't look like it had filled in that much and was still fragile, hence the prognosis - no jumping. You can see where the chunk of the bone broke off and left a huge hole in Tyra's sesamoid. She said it is a miracle this horse is sound and alive at all considering the fracture was extremely severe, especially considering it was not healed correctly. I asked if it could have happened at the track, and she said most likely not because Tyra finished racing in 2014, and it would be more "filled in." At the time these x-rays were taken this was not a sound, jumpable horse. Not at all, and she agrees with Dr. Zee on that.


At the same time, we'll be nearly three years from the original injury. There is a very high chance that bone has remodeled even more and is now completely sound to handle impact. What Dr. A is worried about is the joint, not the chance of ligament or tendon damage. She is concerned that the little piece of bone is at risk of breaking off and creating havoc for Tyra's joint, instigating early onset arthritis and potential unsoundness to the point of pasture retirement. 



We don't know how "locked in" the little bone is, because we can't see the top of the bone in relation to the other sesamoid. She said there is no risk of tendon damage at this point because the bone has "soft edges" which means its been there long enough in an active, moving horse not to cause issues. Most likely we will need to take the boney piece out, and then we should be 100% in the clear.


I asked about arthritis even with the piece removed and she said sadly I will need to be considering joint injections by the time Tyra is 10. She said she could live a very long and sound life, but there is great chance of being only flat-sound at 14. I told her that was OK with me, I've been prepared for this since I bought her. That is why trail training is so crucial - this might be ALL she can do in a few years. 



Then again she might be able to compete for a little while. We just won't know until the x-rays.


Dr A did tell me not to panic too much. The fact that Tyra was sound doing XC and extensive, heavy jumping gives her a strong differential diagnosis that this is a bone chip from an old fracture. She may not be an FEI horse, and she may not be able to jump for many years, but Dr. A said she will be 100% ok for low-impact stuff, no matter what they find. She is hoping the bone has remodeled more and there is a possibility the chip may have reabsorbed into the sesamoid bone by now. The remodeling was pretty extensive and the edges are round and soft, so Dr. Zee's "she's going to tear her suspensories" is not accurate. 



44 more days!


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

^ omg so happy dr zee had the WRONG VERNACULAR in her original diagnosis. yes it's a "fracture" but a sesamoid "FRACTURE" and a sesamoid "bone chip" are 2 totally different disorders. a fracture would cut right through the bone, a bone chip would remove a chunk of the bone. The piece that popped off shattered and collected in a bone-piece clump that has become the bony tower on top of the sesamoid bone, but the bone itself has filled in and re-created itself. 



THIS IS REALLY GOOD NEWS because the treatment for a chip fracture is much more manageable than an actual fracture, which is extremely serious and requires screws and the sort to keep the bones together so they can re-model and calcify back as one.


I can only imagine how much pain tyra was in when this happened to her :frown_color: poor baby girl... it's lucky the pieces didn't slice the tendons!


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

If you truly feel you are overhorsed, you should limit your trail riding. Go out a short way out as long as you feel comfortable, then do some "training" and walk back. If there is anyone you trust, you can ask them to pony your horse on the trail. You are right to consider your safety first. That is the most important thing. It doesn't mean you are limited, it just means that your horse needs more work. Look at the long term.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

@whisperbaby22, i don't know if i am so much overhorsed as picking the wrong discipline. i never had an opportunity to do any trail riding growing up, so now that i have my first horse i was hoping to branch out and explore new things.


but tyra doesn't feel comfortable being a jack of all trades mount, and i need to respect that, as disappointed as i am. i was talking with a friend about what happened yesterday (nearly got bucked off twice and reared with once - she didn't go up but she was giving me serious warnings that she wanted to try), trying to break it down and figure out what went wrong. we realied at our old barn tyra got extreme riding structure - it was the same routine every day. now, the trainer and the leaser are gone, she isn't tired all the time, she is ridden lightly, and her fitness and strength have returned. she has realized we are not going back to the nice barn, and she might be testing the waters to see how serious i am about our rules and regulations. she's done this at every barn we've been at, and since this is barn 3 i now know the signs and where she's going with all of her bluffs, and can act accordingly.


it's looking like you are right, trails need to be put on pause while we work on re-establishing the rules of engagement, pecking order, and that she can't be a turd just because i'm her only rider now. she's got my number and then some. she is an incredibly intelligent horse, and i am an incredibly sympathetic rider. what she really needs is someone who won't put up with her balogne, like my old trainers. they shut it down fast. i, unfortunately, feed into the narrative of her history and become overly concerned with not repeating her bad life experiences and being a positive force in her life. unfortunately, as a horse she of course can't see that i am just trying to be her friend. last night was the first time in over a year that i've actually hit her hard with the lead rope and shanked her halter, because she tried to run me over to get into her stall. she's NEVER done that, not in almost 2 years, but it was the climax of being able to push me around under saddle for 3 days in a row. i'm glad i am seeing these patterns though, because it empowers me to know I CAN stop them.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Good, keep working with her at a level you feel comfortable with. Follow the path of this horse for as long as you like, you two will grow together. Or not. But as long as you love this horse, she is the one that can teach you.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

Thanks whisper. Trying to stay strong amidst the chorus of voices telling me I can’t do it.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

Haven't been able to update in a while but here it goes!


A lot has happened in two months. I'll probably be able to relay bit by bit. The most notable thing is Tyra just got back from the hospital... AGAIN... for a serious bout of displacement colic. Two thousand dollars later.... AGAIN... she came home fit as a fiddle. No surgery, phew, but fam and I want to get her on health insurance pronto. Still researching exactly how this works. I probably won't be eligible for another year. 



Despite the colic, the vet gave us a good prognosis. It seemed to have been started by her not drinking, which is what led to the last colic she had in fall of 2016. Vet put her on electrolytes and pulled out all alfalfa (worried about stones), double-netted her hay to prevent ulcers (which WORKED, let me tell you), added a probiotic, and one extra water source so she could pick where she wanted to drink. 



I started up with my other trainer again, and now there is friction between her and my day-to-day trainer, Alyssa. Maggie (grand prix rider/trainer) is very skilled and much more into competition training than Alyssa. Alyssa combines traditional dressage with natural horsemanship. She believes the horse should move off of zero leg, only energy and breathing. Pretty advanced stuff! i was highly skeptical, but then she invited me to a training session for Tyra where I got to watch her work. And all I can say is WOW! I was incredibly impressed and convinced this is what my horse needed. 



However, Maggie trains differently. She falls more in line with leg-to-hand, where as Alyssa wants the horse to stay in front of the leg 100% of the time so she doesn't have to use it. The good news is I have been able to blend these philosophies as they aren't so different. 



But Alyssa has been acting distant since I brought Maggie to the barn. But Alyssa was a referral from Maggie, so I don't get why she would feel the need to mark a claim on me as a client? Regardless, I only see Maggie once a month and I ride with Alyssa every week. 



Alyssa wants Tyra to carry herself the entire time, whereas my old trainer wanted me to carry Tyra, claiming the horse isn't strong enough to work that hard. Alyssa lowered the bit a hole, which forced Tyra to actually HOLD it instead of it being positioned correctly in her mouth. That made an amazing difference and what used to take minutes of fuddling and warm-up to get, I got in less than 30 seconds. Automatically she lowered her head, grabbed the bit, and asked for contact and connection.


Our show is in october. I'm still training for it, and we are competing T1 and T2. Maggie wants us at 1st by the end of the year, but Alyssa wants us to work a bit more at Training, so we will probably stay there until Alyssa feels we are ready. I certainly don't want her to feel like I value Maggie more than her.


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Colic is so scary. Thank goodness she is OK.


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## thecolorcoal (Jan 28, 2015)

We have been working diligently at making sure Tyra's colic does not come back. Her bloodwork showed unusually high levels of protein, which makes her susceptible to stones and irritates any hind gut ulcers she may or may not have. Even though I pulled her off of all the alfalfa hay, shockingly enough she isn't losing condition. I supplement with an amino acid powder that I put into her food. She gets extra electrolytes and we installed a second water bucket in her stall outside, so now she has two places to drink from. Of course, she prefers her large bucket and not her automatic waterer.

We've moved up in the dressage world. I had a lesson with Maggie this weekend and we worked extensively on getting moments of suspension in our trot. We also focused on staying on the bit and impulsion through the trot. So far so good! We've moved up to first level now. Maggie wants us to start competing at the end of this year. 

Things with Alyssa are better, and the training is going OK, but she is no Maggie. I know it makes her uncomfortable knowing I am riding from a Grand Prix dressage trainer, but in my opinion she doesn't really get too much of a say. I checked her training book, and despite being with her for nearly four months, and working with Tyra once a week, Tyra is still not on her list of "horses in training." I am doing all I can do be included in her riding program, but sometimes I still feel like we are struggling to be seen. 

Regardless, Maggie really, really likes Tyra. She talked extensively on my contact and connection, and says points are easy if we can keep her nose on the vertical. So she shortened up my reins and told me to ride like this. Immediately I felt a bit nervous, because as soon as we were truly "on the bit" I could feel Tyra swell up underneath me and fill with very intimidating power. The canter work is getting better, but every time I allow Tyra to open up her stride I get nervous and pull her back. We are doing our best not to discourage her, but she is such a powerful horse that it is hard for me not to feel a bit out of control.

That's all I've got for now. I am probably going to give her the day off tomorrow, and hopefully ride her Tuesday. Count down to the show begins!


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