# And the Jen came tumbling down...



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Oh my word... 3 stories onto concrete?!~ You're lucky to be alive :/


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## Wild Heart (Oct 4, 2010)

Three stories and on concrete?!
Holy cow girl, it's amazing you are alive.

I hope you have a very swift recovery. And stay off the railings!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

My God! that's awful. you are so lucky to just be alive. What a horror for your boyfriend to see that happen and not be able to save you.

I wish you as speedy a recovery as can be expected.


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

You are so lucky to be alive! 
Unfortunately you are probably going to probably be paying for this for the rest of your life.

Times change, here in the UK drinking is allowed at 18. This means nothing and many much younger teens are getting wasted because they get their hands on alcohol. 
It seems the norm in many cases that because going out is expensive, that many buy cheap booze and get drunk _before_ they even go out. 

There were many times that I drank waaaaaaaay to much and that took a lot because it was always able to hold my booze, and only ever once had a hangover. 
Many times there were drinking games, but these were always in large groups. 
I can, hand on heart, truthfully say that I have never drunk myself into oblivion or never been able to remember what I got up to, though a couple of times I wish I could!

I guess I was lucky in escaping injuries in more ways than one. 
Now, I rarely ever drink, I can have fun without the need for that sort of kick. If I drink twenty units a year I would be surprised! I am not against alcohol at all, I always have it in the house, friends are welcome to it, but it just doesn't bother me.

Guess who is always the designated driver?

I wish you a speedy recovery, a hint that will help you is try to get someone to get you some Comfrey tablets, they greatly help in mending bones, the old English name for the herb was knit bone.


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## VickiRose (Jul 13, 2013)

Ouch! Go buy a lotto ticket, you were lucky you weren't killed! (okay so you probably don't feel lucky, just sore, but you ARE lucky)
We've mostly all done dumb stuff while drunk, we live and learn, hopefully ;-)


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## Lockwood (Nov 8, 2011)

:shock:
OUCH !

I hope you mend quickly and there are some good pain meds for the next few days....or weeks. :wink:


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

That was not one of your better ideas was it?
Hope you get well soon and the pain meds are working


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## Foxtail Ranch (Mar 10, 2012)

I've walked a mile in those shoes. Three years ago I was struck by a truck doing a u-turn on a highway while driving my motorcycle. Crushed my right side hip down. 

Three pelvic fractures which ripped my bladder up, two femur, two tibia and fibula, crushed ankle like you,crushed foot, crushed toes. No major head injury though. 

I was in the hospital 22 days, 10 surgeries that lasted 40 hours total, and 1 year of PT. 

Demand good care at the hospital. if they treat you badly, call patient advocacy. Most hospital workers are wonderful, but there are bitches too. Don't take their crap! 

Get off the pain meds as soon as you can. They actually make you sicker than you really are. you need them now, but in 3 months you should be done with them. 

Hang in there. We horsewomen are tough and can ride anything out. we have a core of steel.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MissingStar (Feb 20, 2013)

"It's all fun and games . . . until someone ends up wearing a cone!"









Zexious, so glad you lived to tell the tale. Wishing you the speediest of recoveries.


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## TessaMay (Jul 26, 2013)

Yikes! Glad you are ok--comparatively. I hope you recover as fast and well as possible.


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## Allison Finch (Oct 21, 2009)

YIKES!!!​
I am so glad you were not KILLED!

Folks, it is always good when people post something they have done, that may not have been the wisest actions, in the hopes that others will learn from it. Next time, just beer pong........

I hope you have a speedy recovery. I guess we will see more of you for a while? That's not a bad thing, I guess.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

You were drinking...how terrible....

Looking back on my life, if I had been caught for all the things I may have done, I would still be in jail. If I had got hurt every time I had made a decision that could of ended in disaster I would still be in a wheel chair.

You are lucky not to be worse hurt, and strangely enough you probably have the drink to thank for that, people who are drunk and relaxed often survive things better:lol:

Wishing you a speedy recovery, for now while you are badly hurt, stay ahead of the pain, take those pills on time, if you start hurting you are getting behind and it is difficult to catch up.

OH, and start moving the bits that do move as soon as you can, so very important to get going as soon as the medics say it's OK, even if it is just making a fist and relaxing, or wiggling your toes, whatever moves, keep it moving.


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## Tobysthebesthorseever (Apr 12, 2013)

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!! You PMd me and told me you were In the hospital-you didn't tell me you fell three stories!!!!!!!! It is a miracle you're alive!!! Prayers for thanks that you're alive and prayers that you have a fast recovery!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

I really appreciate all the kind words, guys!

I will say that many of you are right--it was absolutely not one of my best decisions. And my boyfriend (his name is Tristan) has taken it very hard. He heard me fall and hit the ground, and said there was blood everywhere. Of course, the police arrived before the paramedic, and they had to question him--their immediate thought was that he pushed me.
I know I should drink less... but I've never done anything like this before!!

And yes, you're all so right. I am incredibly lucky to be alive. I actually have many friends/acquaintances with stories very similar to mine--all of them weren't lucky enough to survive. 

I started physical therapy yesterday, and occupational therapy today. I got very lucky, also, in that I have no brain damage. The road to recovery will be a long one... I don't know when I will get to ride again ):

But I have an awesome support system with tons of friends and family that have traveled far to come see me. I am super grateful for that. 

Of course, I'll be hanging around here quite a bit


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## JCnGrace (Apr 28, 2013)

Wishing a speedy recovery for you!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Thank you, I appreciate it!


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## PrivatePilot (Dec 7, 2009)

If there's one piece of advice I can give you as someone who has some experience with a very beat up body...it's this: Don't skip physio. Don't ever think it's not worth it. Don't ever think it hurts to much. Don't ever think you feel fine and stop before the doctorss say so.

If you do, you'll regret it. Ask me how I know.

Get well.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Physio?

Does that mean the therapies?

As an update, and in response to that, I have actually been moved to Rehab, which is an intensive therapy unit. I have three hours of therapy a day: one and a half of Physical, and one and a half of Occupational.

The therapies are very hard. I have almost passed out from the pain once or twice, and I have definitely shed tears as a result. In Physical Therapy I mostly work with weights to maintain the muscle that I have, and to gain a little in important areas. In Occupational I am learning how to do basic tasks by myself--showering, moving etcetera.
But I absolutely agree with you, Oshawa. It is important. I am young and strong and in relatively good shape. Again, I am very lucky. Like I told my friends and family, I would rather be in the most pain I could think of while doing therapies, and knowing and being told that I am making good progress, than lying comfortably in my bed, but not getting anywhere.

I am also grateful that I have worked in the hospitality industry. I am twenty one and have worked in restaurants (in nearly every position) for six years. I know that hospitals and restaurants are very different, but my point is the same: be kind to everyone. 
I have heard many people on my floors being nasty to the nurses. Cursing at them, snapping at them, just being generally rude... It is not their fault that anyone is in here, and they are just trying to help. I make sure to always be polite and cheerful to them, and it pays off. They are very nice to me: I receive the best care, and I receive it first (not saying that's ok or fair, it's just the way it is xD). I have the biggest room on the floor, and they even allowed me to get a pet. A little kindness goes a long way.


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## MissingStar (Feb 20, 2013)

A pet, Zexious? Are we talking hamster or Shetland pony here? Just how big is this room??

Really glad to hear you in such good spirits, despite the pain. Sending more best wishes your way.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^Bahaha, I wish! Sadly just a fish. He's really cute though! I named him Pistachio. 

The room is nice and spacey. It's big enough for two+ patients, but they have assured me that I've got it all to myself 

I appreciate all the good vibes!
I think that keeping a good attitude is half the battle.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Nurses are just the best! Doctors may pin all your broken bits together but on a day to day basis nurses will make you better. Everyone should be nice to nurses, apart from the daughter of an unwed lady dog who "looked after me" in the high dependency unit, I would cheerfully go back and tell her to rethink her career choices.

A cheerful and positive attitude is very important, keep it up, makes everyones life better. Glad that they have you in therapy I know it's tough but so worth it.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

It is very intensive. And for a while they couldn't quite figure out the dosing for my pain meds, which made it extra difficult xD But we've got it down now, I think!


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## MissingStar (Feb 20, 2013)

Let's hope Pistachio is the fish in the bowl and not the troublemaker on the right :lol::


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Wow glad to hear you are ok! (Ish)

Hang in there!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

xD Well, MissingStar, if he's anything like me... he could very well be the one on the right xD!


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## Captain Evil (Apr 18, 2012)

NO! I just read your post! Holy cow, what a disaster. And yet, you sound so ... well, maybe not cheerful, but definitely strong and optimistic. Sending good thoughts your way. 

If time hangs heavy on your hands and you need a good book, try "Sound of a Wild Snail Eating". It is a tiny biography of a woman suddenly and unexpectedly bedridden, and her companion, a snail. You could read it aloud to Pistachio; he might enjoy it.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

I actually am on the cheerful side: I feel incredibly lucky to be alive. So... yeah.

I had my first group therapy today. That was quite an eye opener as well. It was a group of all ladies, and I was the younger in the group by at least 40 years. We did work with our arms... And it was awesome. A walk in the park compared to what I usually have to suffer through during my Physical Therapies. So, even though I was surrounded by elderly women on their death bed (I felt a little guilty, as it were...) it was a nice, and well deserved break.


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## Tigo (Feb 25, 2012)

I'm glad to hear that your therapy is going well! I just wanted to jump in and wish you a speedy recovery, hope all continues to go smoothly. 

...And "just a fish"?! Psssh fish are awesome! :lol: (I have a mild addiction to Bettas haha)

Best of luck to you


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

Keep your spirits up, & sounds like your room, for now is as nice as can be, you have been quite lucky-a lot of people would not have survived that. I hope the pain is not too bad, and hopefully your stay will be shorter than expected. Yes, might be a good time to re-think the amount of alcohol-I like it all-beer, wine, etc, but 1 or 2 is plenty, then it's time for water or soda or something safer.

Good luck to you!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Tigo, I will say Pistachio is awesome xD!!

Cacowgirl-I absolutely agree!!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

I think I'll go ahead and do a bit of an update...

Still in intensive therapy. I am learning how to scooch(sp? xD) myself around as best I can. The pain can get really bad, and they are continually changing my pain med regimen... But that's alright! I am stoked that I am making progress.

There are some little bits of bad news, though... I mentioned this just a bit above, but my boyfriend has all but dropped off the earth. I haven't heard from him or seen him in 4/5 days. He won't respond to my texts or return my class.
Just so everyone knows I'm not sending him an absurd amount, I have texted four times: twice Wednesday to verify if he was coming, just a hell on Friday, and once yesterday to say I really needed to talk. I called once yesterday, and sent him a facebook message. FB said he say my message about twenty minutes after I sent it but, again, I haven't heard from him...

It is honestly starting to worry me. I at least know he is alright because of him seeing the FB message, so that makes me feel good... but, is he breaking up with me? Why won't he talk to me? ): I just find it so odd that he did a 180, from spending every day in the hospital with me, to zero correspondence at all.


Also... (This is slightly worse news...) I got the police report from my fall. Apparently, I told the police person at the scene that I did not fall, I jumped. 
I don't believe that for a second. I think I said that because I was intoxicated and frightened, and probably prompted to say so (IE-"Did you jump?"). My mother saw the report and is very upset.
But, again, I don't believe it. I love my life, and am not the slightest bit suicidal.

This is all just...very stressful ):


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

If the rail broke and you fell then maybe when you get to feeling a little better you might want to consult with an attorney.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^The railing didn't break, I slipped from it.

It is a thin metal, and about chest high on me (I'm 5'5"). I would say the top of it is maybe two inches wide.
I hoisted myself up and onto it and while I was shuffling, I slipped.


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## TessaMay (Jul 26, 2013)

You say all sorts of things when you are drunk, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. You know that you are happy with your life and didn't want to kill yourself. I know that I've gotten the urge to do stupid things while drunk before, like jumping off places that are too high and it is not so that I can hurt myself, but rather because you tend to feel invincible when drunk, so it just sounds like fun. 

You sure don't sound suicidal to me :wink:

I hope you are able to work things out with your boyfriend. It's traumatic to see someone you care about get hurt badly and he probably feels partially responsible. Hopefully he just needs some time to process things now that the stress of you being in serious danger has subsided.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Boyfriend came around yesterday. Like I had suspected, he just needed time to think.  So... everything is back on track and good!

My father is coming to see me today from Orange County... I haven't seen him in nearly a year, and we tend to butt heads a bit... Should be interesting, and I'll keep everyone updated. Heh.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Mini Update Time!

So... my father xD

Without throwing my dad under the bus too much, I will say he is a...very...eccentric man. He has lots of money, has been married three times, has more women than he knows what he deal with... Yikes haha.

Anyway, he doesn't always think things through the way he should.

So there is one big big airport in Colorado, and that's DIA. There is also a fair sized airport in Colorado Springs. I am in the hospital in Colorado Springs, just about ten minutes from that airport. That's where my mother flew into--piece of cake. I told my dad (coming from Orange County) that's where he needed to fly into. For whatever reason (seriously, he couldn't give me one) he wasn't having it. He wanted to fly into DIA, rent a car, and drive three hours to get here. Well...whatever.

So, he gets here... and his license is expired! xD How did he get on the plane?! Makes me feel safe... Anyway, he should have just listened to me. Now he is on a Shuttle. Who knows how long that will take him!

Aanndd... my mom disappeared without my phone. I feel stranded. xD


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Another updated!

I was visited by a doctor yesterday and informed that surgery will be... today ._.! They were waiting for the swelling in my right ankle to go down, and they had said it would tentatively be Friday-Sunday... But, apparently I'm ready now. So, I haven't had anything to eat or drink in the past twelve hours, and I am scared out of my mind... Wish me luck!


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## barrelbeginner (Jan 31, 2012)

Hope all goes well!


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## MissingStar (Feb 20, 2013)

Sending you some good luck, as requested!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Good luck from me as well


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## amp23 (Jan 6, 2011)

I've kinda just been reading along but not posting. I hate that you're going through this, but hey, stuff happens. Best of luck to you!!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Thanks guys, I really appreciate it.

The surgery was... hell. I agreed to have not only a "block" put in, but also a "cath". Basically a block completely numbs the nerve for the surrounding area. Alright, cool. A cath is just an add on, that will drip the block stuff over the next couple of days. The catch? You have to be awake for them to do it. 
They gave me some meds to make me more comfortable, but then moved me on my side... with four-times broken pelvis, no amount of drugs was going to make me more comfortable. I was squirming about the entire time. Which naturally frustrated the doctor. Which upset me, and I started crying because I felt bad. 
We ended up forgoing the cath and just going with the regular block, which he was able to get in.

They wheel me to the operating table, I'm still crying. They knock me out and that is that.

The surgery was supposed to last from 2-4. It ended up being from 1-9. They said it was the worst they had ever seen, and then they couldn't get the rooms correct, so I had to hang out in recovery forever. In recovery, everyone was super old and making weird moany noises...

It was a disaster x.x


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## MissingStar (Feb 20, 2013)

How awful for you - I felt queasy just reading your post!

Were they at least able to achieve what they had set out to do, or is it too soon to tell?


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

must be tough having all those old people around, making noises of pain.


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

Ouch....it'll feel better when it quits hurting.....


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## Tack Collector (Nov 10, 2009)

tinyliny said:


> must be tough having all those old people around, making noises of pain.


 
Surely you jest. I hope that comment was sarcasm.


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## VickiRose (Jul 13, 2013)

Hope you are feeling better. Was the surgery to pin and plate you back together? Spinal blocks are great but trying to stay still for one... Not so great! I had one for an emergency Caesarian with my first child. Trying to lay still on your side while in full labour with the baby stuck in your pelvis, while a needle is put in your spine is not my idea of fun! But when it kicked in I think I told the anaesthetist that I loved him! 

Seriously though I hope your are more comfortable now and can really get stuck into rehab. Happy the boyfriend has sorted himself out. Your dad sounds like mine, just a tad pig headed, but at least he came.


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

You are sure having a rough time of it, & the folks around you w/their "characters" hanging out-well, I think it should be all about you when they come into your hospital room! Hope things get better for you soon. At least, you can come here & vent, etc.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

The venting definitely helps! xD

Vicki-That's exactly what the surgery was for. When I fell, I completely shattered my calcaneus. So, this surgery was to put everything back together. It was successful, but they may need to do another surgery in about a year, if the pain doesn't go away. I seriously hope it does.

Apparently I get discharged tomorrow o.o Which means I am getting out of here in half the time they thought... hurray for being young and in shape.
Still, it's a little scary. I really have no clue where I am going to go. The accident happened at my boyfriend's, which is over an hour away from where I live. I only just got cleared to travel, so that should be super fun.
Also, my home is NOT conducive to a wheel chair. It is three stories, plus there are stairs to get into the home... So it looks like I get to go to another rehab facility.. It's very frustrating, and there have definitely been some tears the past few days ;-;

Being able to vent on here absolutely helps, though. <3 I appreciate you all!


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## amp23 (Jan 6, 2011)

Keeping you in my thoughts! Good luck in your transition out of the hospital.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Thankies, friend.

Still have no clue what's going on... Waiting to hear if I am getting discharged today.... And, if so, where I am going ._.


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## Tobysthebesthorseever (Apr 12, 2013)

Good luck!!!!!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Well, that was an absolute disaster xD

I basically got discharged with no place to go ._. The case manager at the hospital (who had her head so far up her butt she couldn't see straight) basically said that we had two options: stay in the hospital with no guarantee that it would be covered by insurance (because, according to her, I was only approved through that day) or I could go to a place called the John Zay house (which is like a Ronald McDonald House situation) but have it potentially null my chances of getting into a rehab center.

We spoke to our insurance this morning, and they told us that I was given an "unsafe discharge" and that I had actually been approved to stay at the hospital through Tuesday.

I am glad to be out of the hospital, but man...was that a nightmare. And this house is great, but... the beds are high, and it's hard to get into them... The bathrooms are hard to maneuver in with my wheel chair... 
I am just looking forward to getting where I need to go.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Hope things get better soon, I really don't know how you guys cope with insurance companies and hospitals arguing over you, it is such a foreign concept to me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Didn't the hospital talk with you, your boyfriend or your parents about the need for you to be moved somewhere when your time was finshed? I mean, usually they tell you that you'll need to start looking for a place to shift too, so you have time to find it. Which, if you don't have insurance or if you are on medicaid (not sure of your case), can take some time , since not every rehab facility will accept you.


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## Shropshirerosie (Jan 24, 2012)

Gosh I've just read through this thread. You are doing so well - my respect to you for the clear thinking and positivity you're showing on this forum.

It is going to be a long slow process to get well.....but you WILL get there! Take it a day at a time, do every exercise the physios give you, follow all instructions, and vent on here whenever you need.

I hope you can get comfortable wherever you are!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Tiny-The hospital did talk to us about some options. It was a little more difficult than normal because I was 100+ miles away from home.
But, more than that, the Case Worker (do you capitalize that? xD) at the hospital just dropped the ball. She didn't make the appropriate calls at the right time. She wasn't familiar with the case or the policies. I do have insurance (thankfully!) And, luckily for me, it's very very good. I pretty much had my choice of rehab facilities.
Either way, she told us that she could not speak for the insurance company, and that we were taking a gamble either way... and that I was being discharged that day. Yikes.
My mother got on the phone the next morning (which was a Saturday, no less) and had everything in line in less than two hours.
I'm a very patient person, and I don't like to stir the pot or cause trouble... But it was terribly frustrating to be wheeled away from the hospital with no real idea of what was going on. xD


As an update, I made it to the "skilled rehab facility". It's basically a nursing home. I am the youngest, most coherent person here at 21 xD But I can't complain. Everyone has been very nice.
Rehab starts again today. I'm stoked to be making some progress.

EDIT-I forgot to add a couple of things xD I still need help doing...pretty much everything, but I am getting better. I think soon I will be able to toddle around by myself, so I am pretty excited at the notion of /not/ having to ask permission (which is basically what it is xD) every time I want to get out of bed for any reason.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

The hardest part about all of this... withdrawing from school. I am a senior at CU, who was on track to graduate on time with my Bachelors in Psychology and English with an emphasis in Creative Writing.

But I have withdrawn from this semester (with only one month left! )< ) And I will be taking next semester off. It's very hard and makes me super sad... )8


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## amp23 (Jan 6, 2011)

You just have no end to all your frustrations. I can't believe they'd just discharge you from the hospital with no real plan.. Scary. I really feel for you having to withdraw from your classes. 

Short story- yesterday I finally met a friend of a friend who almost died in a snowboarding accident. He went from a male model that was 6 weeks away from his college degree to a handicapped guy that had to relearn his alphabet at 25 years old. So considering how much worse things could be, you're not doin too shabby. You'll get through it! :hug:


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## Captain Evil (Apr 18, 2012)

Zexious said:


> The hardest part about all of this... withdrawing from school. I am a senior at CU, who was on track to graduate on time with my Bachelors in Psychology and English with an emphasis in Creative Writing.
> 
> But I have withdrawn from this semester (with only one month left! )< ) And I will be taking next semester off. It's very hard and makes me super sad... )8



This is why I hate alcohol. When you don't really need it, just kind of want it and play around with it, it gets you into all kinds of trouble. Then, when you really NEED it, like NOW: you can't have it. It is so unfair. It is like that goofy, irresponsible friend that always lets you down.

I can't believe all the stuff you are going through. From your posts, you seem very focused and tenacious. I really hope things work out for you and you are able to finish school. This whole thing may afford you an opportunity to smash out some good writing; God knows you now have plenty of material! Wishing you the absolute best...


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^Haha that's the perfect way to describe alcohol! xD


I am absolutely tenacious! I want nothing more than to get out of this nursing home and get on with my life. So I throw everything I have into my therapies. It's actually going really well here, all things considered.
Yesterday I stood up for the first time since the accident and took my first steps. It was awesome and I am super proud of myself. 
I even brushed my teeth standing up this morning! It's amazing the things you take for granted...

It's looking like I may get to go home in about a week and a half. And tomorrow I have to drive back to the hospital for a Post Op with the doctor. The cast that's currently on my leg weighs about 15 lbs, which makes it very hard to lift with the broken hip... So I'm looking forward to getting something that weighs less, and is less hot. 

My boyfriend has been acting weird again. It's very frustrating. We've only been together a little over two months, but I really like him... and if we're going to be together I feel like I deserve his support. ): At least a text or a phone call... Am I asking for too much?


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## amp23 (Jan 6, 2011)

I don't think you're asking for too much. Like others said before, he may have some weird feelings about the whole situation just because he was with you when it happened. You haven't dated all that long so he may be contemplating how to handle the situation, but I definitely think he should show at least a little support considering how serious this was for you. If I was in your position I'd definitely expect more support from him. Even though the situation is hard for him, you're the one with a physical ailment right now and you need emotional support.


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## NeryLibra (Oct 9, 2013)

It is extremely tough on both parties involved in an accident to know how to handle a situation as serious as this. For you and all you're going through, you have to imagine how he's felt through all this: he left you alone on the balcony, he was with you when the event happened, he came back just in time to see you fall. It's possible he feels guilty and it's possible he feels he could have prevented the situation. If he loves you, seeing you and talking to you might be incredibly hard because he feels, like I said, like he did something wrong and like he hurt you. You felt the aftermath, and he saw the aftermath. Both of these are just so hard to handle. 

I hate these kinds of scenarios for both reasons. The person involved in the injury desperately needs love and support, but at the same time, so does the witness. Which, in many cases, is difficult for both parties to provide. It runs deeper than just this too, deep into personalities and how people respond to traumatic events. The only way I know how to explain is.. survival situations. There will be the people who try to take charge, the ones who will follow no matter what, the ones who need more support than is feasible, the ones who cope better on their own. Depending on his personality, you could be dealing with any number of issues.

I think the biggest and best thing you can do for both of you is force him to come talk to you.. and when you do, immediately addressing what happened the night of the accident - how he felt, what he saw, how he feels now, and for you to tell him what you're going through in depth, on that level that boyfriend/girlfriend have or eventually earn. If he IS feeling guilty, then I think the mysterious disappearing act your boyfriend is pulling is self explanatory. If it's not, I don't have anything nice to say...


This is all distanced speculation. If I sound like a moron who hasn't read every post feel free to point, laugh, throw shoes at and then ignore me. But for the record, no. Asking for a simple text or call is _not_ asking for too much.

Feel better! I shall send virtual hugs and chocolate your way.


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## RedTree (Jan 20, 2010)

Wow, just wow, when you commented on my thread about exercising and said you had an accident, I did not expect this.

Your one hell of a fighter 

Your boyfriend... Hmm well it would be extremely hard on him, would even be harder on you, but he just may need space, or he's just not worth your time.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Hey, friends! 

Quite a bit has happened since my last post. 

Firstly, I asked boyfriend (his name is Tristan, though I keep calling him boyfriend xD) to chat with me, since we obviously had things we needed to talk about. We're an hour away from each other now, so it was just a phone conversation.
I ended up breaking down and crying, just explaining that it was really hard for me to be stuck in a nursing home (and hospital, respectively) and have him just disappear, and that I didn't know what to do. I also explained that I understood how hard it was for him, and reiterated that I didn't blame him at all. 
It was a good conversation, and he came around saying that he was acting like a **** face and that he would see me.

Today I had my first Post Op doctors appointment. I had the cast taken off of my right leg, X-rays were taken, and a new cast (PINK xD) was put on. The doctor said everything is looking really good, so that's a load off my mind.
It was a bit hard getting there, since it's that hour drive... bleck. The car is really hard on my pelvis.

I met with Tristan and my mom for lunch. Honestly, I was kind of a **** to him, myself... I was just so hurt from everything the past couple of weeks, that I let it get the best of me. 
After lunch we went back to his apartment and chatted a bit. I got to see where I fell, and see the balcony... It was weird, but not nearly as scary as I thought.

I think Tristan and I are ready to put this behind us <3

Also, I think I'll post some pics on here in the next couple of days that were taken at the hospital... xD Yay!


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## amp23 (Jan 6, 2011)

That's great! I'm glad yall are starting to patch things up and that you're healing well  I'm anxiously waiting to see those pictures, as weird as it is.. I love seeing that type of thing. Haha. I'm happy for you!!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

So I just pulled these off of my Facebook, because my photo hosting site (tinypic) is apparently blocked by the nursing home. What the heck?? xD Anyway...

This is normal Jen, during Halloween, just for reference. I was a pegasus ^^:









This is an clumsy, broken Jen. That stuff on the towel behind me is blood...:


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## Captain Evil (Apr 18, 2012)

Oh you poor baby! So sad for you, but hope you are having a good Thanksgiving anyway. 
Looking at that bottom picture, it seems a miracle that you are still here... Hang in there. By the way, and totally off the subject, the Unbroken Jen looks just like your avatar!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^ xD Why thank 'ya!

Everyone is surprised that I lived, much less with so few injuries. I like to think that maybe I have something important to do or accomplish 

I still have a few more pics to post, which I will do over the next couple of days.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I hope this will make you laugh, not want to punch me.

in this photo it looks like you have the "evil eye of Mordor" on your forehead, you know, like from Lord of the Rings. (The evil wizard Sauron)











you have every right to expect some communication from your BF, and shouldnt feel like you need to apologize for that expectation.

Glad to hear you are healing so fast. it is impressive! (young folks heal much faster than the old ones)


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

xD That did make me laugh! I didn't see it before, but that's totally what it looks like! xD!! Bahh that's awesome!
Now it's just a little line with some puncture dots from the stitches. Not nearly as cool.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Here I am after my first surgery, with my best friend. I still look like a domestic abuse victim...


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

Just caught up on all your news and progress
You poor thing - but at least you're going in the right direction
Stay positive and vent as much as you like


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

My mom left for Texas today. I'm kind of bummed. I get visitors all the time, but the nights are going to be lonely, now.
The good news is that I'm out in exactly a week! I can't wait to go home <3

Boyfriend has promised that he would come visit me for three days now... Says he overslept the first (Friday), and the second (Saturday). He promised on said second day that he would go to bed early ( "or not at all" ) So he could be here "at the crack of dawn" so we could spend the day together. It's now past 11:30 here, and I haven't heard from him. He has quite an interesting definition of "crack of dawn". This is getting real old, real fast...


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

Zexious said:


> Boyfriend has promised that he would come visit me for three days now... Says he overslept the first (Friday), and the second (Saturday). He promised on said second day that he would go to bed early ( "or not at all" ) So he could be here "at the crack of dawn" so we could spend the day together. It's now past 11:30 here, and I haven't heard from him. He has quite an interesting definition of "crack of dawn". This is getting real old, real fast...


Well, at least now you know.....lots of nice fellows around....pick you out one and I'll introduce you to him....

Sorry....:-(


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## Wild Heart (Oct 4, 2010)

I am so happy to hear how quickly you are making progress! Stay strong and keep your head up. When I was in the hospital for serious injuries, I realized how quickly one can become depressed and become withdrawn. 

However, I am sorry to hear about boyfriend.


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## VickiRose (Jul 13, 2013)

Maybe turn your evil eye of sauron on him .... Seriously though, he's not doing much to help. Maybe it's still a guilt thing? Or maybe he's an ***. Either way, there's not much you can do about him, just focus on your own goals and try not to let his issues drag you down.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Haha, I wish I could turn my Evil Eye of Sauron on him! Unfortunately, all the caked on blood/bruising is gone, and now it's just a measly Harry Potter scar xD

He finally came by yesterday, and it was good to see him. I think he's still dealing with stuff that happened that night, and some stuff that was said prior to the fall. He mentioned coming by on Wednesday, but I'm certainly not going to hold my breath!

Six more days and I am out of the nursing home! I have graduated to crutches and have started attempting stairs. I'm really, really excited to be out of here!!

On a slightly lighter note... I got a new neighbor... A dellusional old woman who screams (or sings... no, seriously. Sometimes she sings.) for help. She just sits in the hall in front of the nurse's station all day (my room is right next to said station) and babbles. It's weird and scary, and I feel bad for her xD .___.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Welp, I got verbally attacked by the aforementioned crazy yesterday. xD

My best friend was wheeling me down the hall (she has been awesome, and visits almost everyday. Although... sometimes she runs with my wheel chair, and I fear for my safety xD) and that lady (her name is Vera, apparently) was sitting there.

She proceeded to ask me if I was being beaten .___. I don't even look like a domestic abuse victim anymore! xD
When her caretaker told her to stop, she explained that she was simply "welcoming me aboard." She /then/ asked bestie (her name is Maggie) to bring me over there. 

It was equally terrifying and hilarious xD Ah, life in a nursing home...


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## Captain Evil (Apr 18, 2012)

Man, you just have to wonder what kind of stuff she has been through in her life. :shock: Or maybe she just watched too much TV... 

Sounds like you are living through a Stephen King novel; hope you're taking good notes! Glad you will be on your way soon, that's great.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Haha, right? It's crazy!

I have been weaning myself off pain killers these past few days. I have a bit of an addictive personality, and so I steer clear from all the bady things in life (I've never even smoked a cigarette... xD). Not to say alcohol isn't bad. But whatever.
Anyway! I take them two times a day, instead of the allotted eight times. It's a bit more added stress, but it's worth it. They're gonna suck to get off of completely, so I may as well get it over with...


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## rhosroyalvelvet (Sep 5, 2013)

I'm pretty sure you are lucky to be alive and I hope you get better soon.... But just decided to take this oportunity to add a bit of knowledge I learned recently 

Ok while too much alcohol is bad for you alcohol is not acctually all that bad. Heard this on the radio today but alot of the information of the long term effects of alcohol that we have been told is wrong?!?!!!!


The Good News About Booze: Tony Edwards: 9780956656148: Amazon.com: Books

Here is a link to the book this scientist wrote. He claims alcohol does not make you gain weight it actually does the opposite. That we can acctually drink alot more than advised. That alot of diseases that are claimed to to be alcohol related are not. It can prevent and in cases cure demensia arthritus heart disease and loads more. He has done lots of research behind all his claims and did experiments ect. This is a very controversal topic but thought I might put it out there as it could be interesting to read while you are recovering.

Also just wanted to clarify I do know alcohol is bad for you especially in the immediate after math as Zexious has demonstated and can cause many problems with liver but it might not be as bad as it is made out to be.

Sorry for spelling mistakes and Zexious Hope you make a speedy recovery.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Oh, I definitely don't think that alcohol is a terrible thing! Or any sort of gateway drug... and I'd agree that it's effects are probably exaggerated just a bit.
However, it is highly addictive, and does have some negative side effects for sure. I think pot is safer, and I have never smoked. It's just something I tend to stay away from.

That said, I probably drink way more than I should. As a twenty one year old female with a very active social life, that probably isn't surprising. When boyfriend and I are together and decide to drink, it tends to be in excess.










The above is the game we were playing the night that I fell. We had to first decide the definition of "Injured", but things escalated quickly to say the least. The fall came, I believe, after one or two episodes of playing this game.

EDIT-For those of you that know GoT, you know that this is an EXCESSIVE amount of alcohol xD For those that don't know... it's like a shot ever 5-10 minutes. .___. Too much! xD
There was also a brief intermission for some 'adult time', but certainly not enough to do much in terms of sobering up.


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## TessaMay (Jul 26, 2013)

Whoever made up the rules for that game wants to get hammered fast!


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## Foxtail Ranch (Mar 10, 2012)

Zexious said:


> Haha, right? It's crazy!
> 
> I have been weaning myself off pain killers these past few days. I have a bit of an addictive personality, and so I steer clear from all the bady things in life (I've never even smoked a cigarette... xD). Not to say alcohol isn't bad. But whatever.
> Anyway! I take them two times a day, instead of the allotted eight times. It's a bit more added stress, but it's worth it. They're gonna suck to get off of completely, so I may as well get it over with...


Take it slowly, but get it done! I was determined to quit all at once and made myself very very sick. It really is surprising, though, how much better I felt after I finally got off the painkillers. I woke early and clear-headed, and stopped feeling so dang depressed. Those things are evil! 

Keep up the good work, Jen! Your resilient spirit has been an inspiration for me lately as I have my own little crappy rough patch of life.

Tiffany


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Tessa--You're telling me! xD
My favorite character is Joffrey. My boyfriend thinks I'm a total tool for it. xD #TeamJoffery!!

tiffanyodonnell--Thank you. Seriously, thank you. It means so much to me that I am able to provide at least a little inspiration. I wish you all the luck with what you're dealing with. 
Everyone has their own journey and you can't put a value on sucky situations. It's all relative.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

AHHHHH I am finally home! I can't tell you all how happy I am!

I just had to post that little update ;-; It's so great to be back with my two kitties and bunny xD


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## Foxtail Ranch (Mar 10, 2012)

I remember my first day home from the hospital. It felt like heaven! 

My dogs were beside themselves and my old geezer Thatcher (who is gone now) was particularly crazy to see me. We had set up a rented hospital bed in the living room and as soon as I was settled in, Thatcher jumped up on my bed next to me. He was very careful and got up on my uninjured side but refused to get down. 

Congrats on being home!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Still loving being home!

I have a Physical Therapist and an Occupational Therapist visiting me at the house. The PT friend will probably continue to visit me for a while, but I think OT will only have one or two more visits. 
I am able to do everything on my own now--get dressed, go to the restroom, shower, even make it up the stairs! I definitely appreciate things more, now.

I had a bit of a breakdown the other day. All of my friends (who are in school/going back) are registering for classes, and so that was hard to see. It was just so frustrating that so many people I know could take time off of school, and go back whenever they feel like, while I had all my crap together, and was going to graduate on time, but now have no choice but to take two semesters off.
So, I was a crying mess about how I can't go to school/work/drive/ride/do anything. Ugh.

I visited both of my doctors yesterday. I got my first cast removed, had x-rays taken of my ankle/heel (everything looks good!), and had the stitches removed. Everyone told me it wouldn't hurt... but it totally did. They tied the stitches so tight that the nurse had to pull them away from my skin. There was a lot of blood, and it was super painful. There were somewhere between 20-30 stitches... Bleck.
My foot is still really swollen, and so I got a bit of a scolding for that. I just get so frustrated sitting with my foot elevated all the time!

In better news, my pelvis is pretty much entirely healed! There's still a little discomfort here and there, but things overall are going really well.

I got to see boyfriend, too. We spent the evening together. ...And did things that probably put my pelvis in some compromising positions. But whatever! It was great to see him, and so nice to sleep next to someone again <3

I'll keep y'all updated!


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## amp23 (Jan 6, 2011)

Glad to hear you're doing well! It does really stink that that you have to take time off of school. Makes things a little harder  but at least you're starting to feel better and your boyfriend has come back around!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Thanks, Amp! 
Things are going well, even though I am going absolutely nuts just hanging out inside all day. Ugh, I want my social life back! x.x


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Yay, update time! xD

Things are still going really well. I have physical therapy a couple times a week, and am able to do everything (dress, potty, shower, toddle around, etcetera) by myself. Subsequently, I had boyfriend and dad move my bed back up into my room. That's a really big step that I am absolutely stoked about!

Boyfriend has been a lot better. He left today to go visit his parents for the holidays. I hope next year we can spend them together :<


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## VickiRose (Jul 13, 2013)

Getting back in your own room sounds like a good Christmas present to me


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^Heck yeah it is! My health is the best gift I could ask for.


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