# How to Build Confidence?



## JustRide (Jun 28, 2011)

Do you ride english or western? &start off at YOUR comfort zone. I'm currently working w/ a 16.3HH 16yrold TB who is NOT bombproof. At all... Very nerve racking seeing as he broke my wrist &shattered my foot. I'm a little shaky as well getting on my TB BUT I get on &trot &walk. (Right now, working in MY comfort zone) &sometimes ill ride a friend of mines TB whose a little smaller who IS bombproof to help build up confidence. Do you know of a horse who your comfortable w/? That you can practice on!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

If you are unconfident why did you buy a young horse? Bit silly really, almost like asking for trouble.

The best way to rebuild your confidence is by spending more time riding without anything bad happening. Anything bad does not neccisarily mean falling off, but generally situations that make you feel unsafe or out of control, as these could further damage your confidence. So ride horses you feel comfortable riding, doing things that you feel safe doing. Hopefully you wilk begin to feel more confident and comfortable.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

I see this recurring theme over and over here:

"I've never taken lessons"
"I don't want to take lessons"
"I've always figured it out myself"
"I'll learn how to ride by myself"

etc......

Go get lessons. Seriously. 

As far as criticism, I can't help you there. Seems to be a common theme these days in the age of not hurting anyone's feelings.


----------



## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

I'm going to expand on what I said above since this place blocks you from editing what you write.

Confidence comes from competence.

Competence comes from FREQUENT and CORRECT practice.

Frequent practice means lots of seat time on a horse. Like at least three or four hours a week, minimum.

Correct practice comes from correct instruction. There's a saying that goes "you don't know what you don't know". Think about that. It means that you could go years trying to figure this out on your own with huge gaps in your horsemanship without you even realizing it.

There are no shortcuts.


----------



## 7HL (Nov 27, 2008)

Ride, ride often, and ride some more. Trainer once told me no one is pretty at first and to just keep riding. Also fall get back up and keep on riding.

I have broken bones. I don't even count the number of times I have fallen or come off a horse. The way I figure the worse thats going to happen is I die. I will at least died at something I enjoy.

Fear is the biggest obsticle.


----------



## kcscott85 (Jul 28, 2010)

I had a bad, bad accident about 6 years ago. I had been riding for 17 years and was the most confident person ever. I could ride any horse. Then I got thrown and hit a log exactly in the right spot to shatter my back. After months in the hospital and a couple of years of physical therapy, I still had not gotten on a horse. I bought my horse Jester in August of 2010 and he's just so lazy, I thought I wanted something more. I wanted to get back into eventing and Jester would never excel at something like that. So I kept training him for hunters and went out and bought an "experienced, bombproof, beginners event horse". Yeah....that horse must have been aced up to his ears when I test rode him! He's NUTS!

For a long while after I got him, I was afraid to trot him. I felt so imcompetent and disappointed in myself for lacking the confidence to test him or to ride it out when he would test me. The kicker was when I saw on his previous owner's FB that her new horse is "totally calm and not spooky at all. QUITE unlike her last horse" (meaning Charlie). Ummm, thanks for giving him to someone with serious confidence issues! I've thought about selling him more times than I can count. 

The more time I spend with him and on his back, the more I'm comfortable with him. I took some lessons, but wasn't at a place where I could do everything I was asked because I was so locked up in fear. So I stopped with the lessons and just relaxed with him. We go on trail rides and to the beach with friends and just have fun. I've gotten to the point where I can gallop him on the beach and we've just started jumping again. Now I feel as if I'm at the point where lessons will benefit us both so we start in a couple of weeks. 

My point is, you're not alone. Even the most experienced horseperson finds a point where they need a confidence builder. Was it the best idea to buy a green horse? No, but that doesn't mean you will never ride her. I have to echo the other posts and say to take lessons. It's really the only way you will learn to ride effectively enough to ride her. If you're not riding effectively, you will come off, plain and simple. If you learn once and for all how to correctly ride a horse, you will find your confidence building more and more. I guarantee it. 

Good luck and keep us posted!


----------



## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

meli, as a self-learned rider myself I found that consistent lessons with the good encouraging trainer knowing how to work with the green rider/green horse help tremendously in building confidence and foundation for _both _- horse and the rider.


----------



## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

Saskia said:


> If you are unconfident why did you buy a young horse? Bit silly really, almost like asking for trouble.


Yeah, I agree.

I'm fairly green myself and that is why I ride a 10 yo horse that is reliable. She's spooked on me once, but a horse is a horse, that's bound to happen.

She definitely saved me from hitting the dirt more than once when I was learning to canter.


----------



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

I'm an advanced beginner and my horse is solid in w/t but learning  canter. We were both green at the beginning, and we had some very scary and dangerous incidents. It wasn't a trainer who got through to us.. it was me changing my attitude and making small goals happen. The trainer came later once my horse and I learned to communicate our desires.. and working with a trainer made it become magical. She wasn't the right trainer for me though, but she did give me support, which is crucial for confidence! 

My advice to you... don't go beyond your comfort level. Make really small goals like "weave the cones" and "get on without my horse moving" and "do a circle at the corner" and "trot for 8 strides" etc. When you accomplish small goals.. you will feel much better. Then you can work on building on those small goals like "weave the cones and then do a half circle and go back on the rail" and "ride with quiet hands at the trot" and "do a small circle in the corner and circle again, but a circle taking up half of the arena" or "trot for 8 strides, walk for 8, half circle, trot for 10" and then you can build on THOSE and get even more complex. And before you know it, you'll be confident in everything you do. Just take small steps. 

Find someone that can help you with confidence by supporting you and helping you "fix" bad moments. Like if your horse decides to get really really fast or spooks, someone can tell you "hey put more weight down into your seat and down your legs" or "keep your hands down" or "chin up!!" since it's hard to remember all of the minor details. 

Best of luck  It'll come back to you!!


----------



## melibeli7 (Jan 2, 2012)

Thank you everyone for replying, I am signed up for lessons, and, although this may be difficult, you all gave me the courage to start the wheels turning.


----------



## attackships (Jan 12, 2012)

I know this sounds weird but sometime faking confidence is a way to get there. When you are confident and secure, your horse will be more confident and secure. And of course having them relaxed will make you feel better  

My sister is an example of your classic scared-of-their-horse horse owner, and it hasn't done her any favors. I started working with her mare recently because I'm sick of seeing her go for weeks without exercise. My sister got me worked up and scared a little bit with all her warnings "She's dangerous!" "Don't get on her if no one is watching!!" "She freaks when you dismount!!"
And since I tremble when I get the least bit nervous (lol i hate it) I got on her and was shaking like a leaf. I just stood there for a second, took a deep breath and decided I would expect the best and just prepare myself if anything happened, instead of bracing myself before she did anything wrong. (She ended up being fine, my sister's fears just got the best of her)

Now I'm riding her everyday and I get on her like she's grandmas horse, absolutely nothing to be afraid of. She's tried to buck me but I know I can stay on her and I work through it and focus on correction. 

I'm definitely not the type of person who has unshakable confidence (I'm more likely to spook at a car passing than my horse is) but it is so much more rewarding to ride when you are no longer afraid of your horse. They are powerful and that can be scary but when you learn the skills you need to stay in the saddle and keep you and your horse safe you will learn how to handle situations instead of just sitting on them and dreading for anything to go wrong.


----------



## Cintillate (Jan 8, 2012)

Don't worry about what other people say. If people say that your buying her was mistake well, do not think that.

I got my first horse at 12, no one in my family knew anything about horses except my uncle but he didn't speak English and I didn't understand the language. What were my parents thinking buying a young 2 year old filly untrained never had a person on it and then gives it to me who has never ridden a horse? Well we were all ignorant and I wanted a horse.  I got one. I never fell off of that horse and I learned a lot from her. Maybe I was lucky but have to say the horses are the best teachers.

Sure you don't have all the experience and training but you got to start somewhere and be safe. I can understand having your confidence knocked down, the second horse I trained was a colt and I fell. What I did was like what others are saying start where you are comfortable. Ride a horse you feel good on and if you have lessons judging by your last post, make use of them. Maybe spend time with your horse, you don't have to ride her just yet if you are not comfortable but just get to know each other and build your relationship.

Wish you luck.


----------



## furbabymum (Dec 28, 2011)

I've been avoiding my horses a bit as well. They take off wildly toward the barn. I know it's me and not them. I'm just doing ground work until I'm confident we understand each other better. That and lessons.


----------



## trailhorserider (Oct 13, 2009)

Stay in your comfort zone, whatever that may be, and tell yourself riding is fun (it must be or you wouldn't have the desire to do it) and don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks. 

The only way to gain confidence is by actually riding. Start with short, "safe" rides and move along at your own pace. 

And remember, riding is fun.


----------



## Dunroamin (Jan 30, 2012)

*me too*

A few years ago my love of riding was fractured by a bucking horse. He took these mood swings and would buck his rider… I was his third person he bucked..broke my back, ribs and shoulder. From what I understand he still takes the notion to buck, but not as often…. Meanwhile my confidence was shattered… but I missed being around horses… For Christmas this year I received a “bombproof” gaited saddle horse mare. She is lovely. But realistically no horse is bombproof.. and like you I get on the horse and any trip or spook sends my heart racing and confidence draining. I tried riding more frequently but my horse seems to pick up my panic and frazzled nerves and she too becomes unsettled. …add to my insecurities is a I ride trail alone… and I find this unsafe..a * tense rider results in a tense horse. I know I must begin with relaxing my mind and body, so I plan to *start over building my confidence with lessons in a safe environment with others around… .just have to find an understanding trainer now..


----------



## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

They're out there, though sometimes hard to come by. I know my trainer is very understanding. Though sometimes she pushes me to where I can really feel a bit "exposed" or "out there" but still not in danger. Which, I believe, sometimes you need to face your fears so that you can overcome that HUGE obstacle and find peace on the other side. 

Just give yourself time


----------



## Dunroamin (Jan 30, 2012)

Thank you I have two people locally to try, but I am also keen to head to Minnessota 17 hours north of me.. This trainer takes horse and rider on a three week traing period.. any one heard of Larry Surrett's Horse training Academy?


----------



## Caitlinpalomino (Nov 16, 2010)

First off I think buying a young horse is fine! I bought my mare when she was five and I was only 11 and she was ( and still is) a great riding horse for me 

As far as confidence goes start off SLOW. Do only what your comfortable with and you will build your confidence. To start with make sure you ride with someone watching, that way you will feel better. 

Good Luck


----------



## livelovelaughride (Sep 13, 2011)

Can your mentor help you with some groundwork? Its a great way to establish leadership skills and improve your relationship/confidence building. There's lots of fun things to do, from simple round pen stuff to free lunging and playing at liberty as a team. The TB mare I ride tends to be spooky---but due to all the ground work we've been doing, our working relationship is far better, less spooky, listens, etc. All horses need groundwork!


----------

