# A Tragic Loss. (Advice needed)



## Chapter

Just over a week ago I lost Stellark to a freak accident. The pair (himself and his buddy) got out of the lower paddock. I am unsure of the cause although I believe they may have spooked as the bar and the gate itself were bent outwards, suggesting that it was hit by one or both of them with a good amount of force. The gate opened and they stayed together until about a mile down the lane to the road. He was hit by a car and I was told he was killed instantly and so no suffering was endured. Candy managed to avoid any damage.

What really got me was that there are so many places they could have gone, so many open fields and small lanes to shoot down yet they went right out onto the road. He was also hit in almost exactly the same place a car accident had happened not too long ago. It is a straight, clear road and I've been told is often sped on.

I'm coping much better than I thought I would. Candy is a different story. She was very depressed and conserved for the first few days especially. She is currently down nearest the stable which she has free access to and where the dogs are so that she has some form of company. I am planning to get another horse soon so she will not be alone for too much longer. 

Is there anything else I can do for her in the meantime or anything I should do myself? Any advice on how to cope or how to help her cope would be much appreciated. She has also started to groom me as a horse would do to another since his death. She isn't causing any pain and I was wondering if I should ignore/encourage/discourage? Thank you all!​


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## Speed Racer

Do not let her groom on you. That's a very bad habit to encourage.

Once she has another companion she should be fine.


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## EponaLynn

So very sorry for you loss.


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## Chapter

I'm sure she will, she has been kept alone for longer periods than this.

Thank you both very much c:


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## gunslinger

Honestly, I don't know what to tell you about comforting Candy other than finding her another pasture mate.....

How are you doing?


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## tinyliny

I am very sorry for your sudden and horrible loss. what about the person in the car that hit him? was the driver all right? such an impact could really hurt or kill the human, too.

is it possible to put some kind of gate on the driveway, to prevent this happening again?


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## Chapter

Initially I was set on finding Candy a new home and having nothing to do with horses anymore. Looking back I realise what a stupid thought that was. They are such a big part in my life I know I would regret it if I gave up. 

I am doing much better than last week, I still feel quite raw and a bit lost. I have so much free time (which I hate honestly) and there is just a part missing. I put the photos of him back up on my wall yesterday. It's nice to have him looking down on me c:


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## Chapter

Tinyliny, the driver was absolutely fine, no injuries at all thankfully. And yes, I am going to be having closed gates into the driveway now.

Thank you


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## tinyliny

we have had two such bolting/hit by car accidents in our area over the years, wherein a horse in the wooded park dumps his rider and bolts for home. he comes dashing out of the woods right onto a street, and the driver, of course, has no warning whatsoever, just a horse leaping out of the woods right in front of them.

they are installing an electric gate at the front of the place I ride, to close off the driveway. costing them a lot of money, but it can also be locked at night, so that's good to counter tack thieves.


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## churumbeque

Sometimes when inrub my horses withers she rubs my shoulder as she would another horse. If that is what you mean by grooming I see nothing wrong with it and it hadn't caused any bad behavior.


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## Jan1975

Oh no, I am so sorry!! Hugs to you!! Can you find a horse to borrow for a few months until you can find a horse? Surely someone has a retired horse in a pasture somewhere...


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## carshon

This happened to a very dear friend of mine. 4 years ago her two horses got out of their paddock and went cross country. Boo was hit from behind but CeCe was not hit. Boo unfortunately survived being hit but had to be PTS due to his injuries. CeCe was extremely depressed so my friends Mom brought one of her horses over - a horse Cece knew- and this did not help. In fact it seemed to make it worse. CeCe was left to grieve on her own and eventually my friend did purchase another horse (it was about 15 months after the accident) 

I am sorry about what happened and send my heart felt condolences on your loss.


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## Cairon

So sorry for your loss


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## Chapter

I will definitely be getting gates to be shut at the end of the drive. 

Thank you everyone for your kind words c:

Carshon, as heartbreaking as it is I am glad to know that I am not alone in this situation.


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## JulieG

I'm so sorry!

Sadly, I live in a very populated and traffic heavy area, and I'd say this happens about once every few months. Mostly horses that have dumped their riders on the trail and high tailed it home, some that have gotten loose and bolted. People speed on both of the main roads by the trail area, so I'm not surprised there are plenty of these accidents.

It's terrible for all involved, and even when people aren't speeding it can happen. I know a few riders in the area that have been the one to hit the horse, even when you know they're paying attention as they know the area and they're definitely not speeding.

I don't know about letting her groom you, but I would thinking spending time with her wouldn't hurt. You both could use a little comfort right now!


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## Acadianartist

So sorry for your loss. And such a beautiful horse too! Candy (and yourself) probably just needs a bit of time. Take it slow, think things through and act rationally rather than spontaneously. We often don't make great decisions in times of crisis. 

I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling. My thoughts are with you.


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## KigerQueen

my fiance got hit by a drunk driver riding his horse. his beautiful rocky mountain mare died instantly and he died too but came back. he has a tattoo to honor her on his arm and he is still raw about it 11 years later. he is now "done" with horses but he still misses her as she was his heart horse though he will never say it. its never easy but things just happen sometimes that you can not always prevent or avoid. but you must keep on going. maybe find an older horse or a cuple of older horses who may have a cuple of years left in them and just need a place to live out their lives.


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## Hoofpic

Im sorry for your loss OP 

This is why people need to slow the hell down on roads! Way too many idiots are going way too fast! At my barn, I go no faster than 30kmh once I turned onto the road where my barn is on. You just never know who may be out riding.


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