# Adventures with Dauntless



## Bondre

Dante is gorgeous! I'd say his Arab half has come out way more than his QH in his looks. 

I'm looking forward to reading more about your experiences; you always post great advice on dressage and general English riding, very useful.
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## tinyliny

me too. I enjoy your detailed posts.

I am wondering what the crossed reins looking thing is in this photo:


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## whisperbaby22

Crossed reins?


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## tinyliny

the straps on the front of the neck. like a loose martingale?


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## Rainaisabelle

Looks like a breast plate to me ...


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## Dehda01

It is an training martingale. Pretty common in Arab, sb and Morgan barns. Some versions have 10 rings going down the strap to set how low you want the pressure to come at the horse. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you  I try to share what I've learned and try to break it down but I'm not always good at it but I keep trying anyway lol. Only way to get better.

I'm not 100% sure but I think Dehda01 is right. It's what they rode Dante in when I tried him but I didn't use it. That photo is from the day I tried him.

And yes he's pretty arab-y, when you ride him I can definitely tell some of the qh because he's kinda down when you ride him and can be an unreasonable jerk sometimes. I've ridden a few full arabs and yes they can be silly, spooky or hot but they're almost always willing and try. Most qh's I've ridden I've really enjoyed but they can definitely have an F-you button and be jerks. The trainer I'm working with says Dante has the qh belligerence and the arabian flightiness. He's a good horse, I don't mean to make him sound naughty, he definitely can be but he can also be incredible to ride because he's so willing, so sensitive and figures things out very quickly.

Dante's kind of going through his teenager phase. Rode him today and that was interesting. I always warm him up in two point and do quite a bit of nice rolling figures of 8 to let him loosen up and get going. But today he was not about being told to go forward. And had a temper tantrum, bucked pretty hard a few times and I was like enough. I'm not asking for anything unreasonable just trot forward. I'm pretty patient and usually will give a horse the benefit of the doubt but I was like no I can put my leg on and you will not kick out at me, I can ask you to move over or be forward and not have you buck. He put in some mean ones. I didn't work him long, just until I could go from walk to trot with him forward, not bucking or kicking out and not kicking out when I'd leg yield or make an upward transition. It was a ride for obedience, didn't ask for much. I know he's sore but he's not that sore. After he worked his back wasn't even a little sore. He had some knots in his shoulders and his right hind interior around his tail area was sore but he had a few days off and if you're sore it's better to do a little something than nothing. It can be frustrating sometimes but you don't always get the rides you want, they're not machines but I felt like we took a step in the right direction and that's all that matters.

He's been like this lately. I think it's an obedience and testing boundaries, young horse thing. Not all young horses are like this but a lot of them are fabulous as 3-4yr olds and then as 5-6-7yr olds when they kinda know the drill and know enough, they go through what I call a "teenager" phase where they just don't want to and test the waters. Then once your work through it, they get over it. It's just getting through it. He does have some stifle issues related to being a young horse and possibly still growing. The vet said his supportive structures and tissue around the stifles aren't fully developed but to keep him working and lots of canter work.

I also rode a young horse who is turning 5 and isn't broke yet. He's taking a long time to break, he's a little special and you can't push babies but I'm hoping after he's broke and has some training he'll be easy. Goal is to have him off the lunge line and with a rider by the end of the month. We'll see. We should have 3 babies going but 2 are lame :-(

Some pictures. I'm very baby faced but then I used to tell people my age and I'd be called Grandma lol. And some of his baby pictures. His Mama is a perlino qh mare and he's not changed much, he's generally up to no good. If you tie him to a stall, he unties himself, if you let him he will knock everything off the walls and re-organize things. He took an empty bucket and hit me with it a few times. He has to put everything in his mouth, I call his lead line his binky because he sucks on it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Today was kind of upsetting. His attitude hasn't improved. He's been really tricky and it kinda makes me want to cry lol. I rode him in a lesson and we did some ground polls and cavaletti. The trainer agreed I wasn't doing anything wrong or disagreeable but we're trying to figure out what's going on with him. It's not like him to be so ornery or unreasonable. He's always been tricky but we could usually work through it. I think I'm going to have him see the chiropractor again lol I'm starting to feel broke. And that muscle in his right butt cheek is SUPER sore, like I touched it and he tried to kick me. He kicked me on Christmas (it was dirty like I was petting him and telling him Merry Christmas and he spun around and kicked me), so I'm being pretty cautious around him. I'm going to keep massaging him and give him a few days off. Maybe hand walk him for a few days for it to heal and hopefully that will do the trick. 

I've had his teeth done, chiropractor followed by muscle injections. Massage every time after a ride which I am pretty good at. I've watched classes, worked with therapists to learn different techniques and been doing it awhile but I'm not certified. Debbie Witty fitted his saddle to him (we have a trilogy Debbie McDonald). Debbie is amazing and super nice/knowledgeable and professional. He isn't in a stressful work program, I don't stress him out and my trainers have done a lot of quirky youngsters. I'm pretty tactful. We don't pressure him too much, we push the envelope some but it's more like an invite. He is tricky to ride, he's always been temperamental but if I was tactful enough I could negotiate through it pretty well. Now it's like he doesn't want to do it anymore and I don't know what went wrong. I feel like I keep throwing money at it and it works for a little while but isn't holding. I've spent a good chunk of change. We're starting him on steroids at some point to help build up his stifles (vet's suggestion). Someone said to put him out to pasture but that's not the issue and isn't going to solve the problem. The trainer that replaced my trainer agreed with the vet about keeping him in work. Vet said he has to stay in work to fix the stifles. He needs to get stronger.

The trainer and I talked about options and we're just going to ride him to be happy. If we can get him happy and willing to work without the kicking out, etc I think it will pretty much be easy but it's getting him happy again. He's been this way since the Devon Kane (international GP rider) clinic and we had a good lesson but I don't know. I just don't get it :/ I'm trying but it's frustrating.

Also here are some videos since I hadn't posted any.

I also get REALLY irritated with people who don't know hardly anything about developing a horse or things trying to tell me what to do with him and I don't mind people having input or giving advice. Anyone can teach you something or give you a different perspective or have some really good insight but when they're rude and talk down to me like I don't know anything, I can get pretty abrasive. I HATE being patronized, I absolutely hate it. I think because of my Marine background, respect is really big to me. Like if you met me, I'm pretty pleasant to be around. I don't belittle anyone or talk down to anyone, I'm pretty encouraging towards others and I'm pretty easy going but it really rubs me the wrong way when I have a certain level experience as a handler, groom, rider, etc and get talked down to by someone who doesn't have half my experience or knowledge. Sorry for rant and don't meant to sound snobby.

I'm still weaning off the Marine kick. It's hard to detox from that kind of environment. I don't think I'll ever really detox. I'm also from a German family (all 4 grandparents), so I'm pretty head strong. I definitely listen and I'm receptive and willing to learn but I stand my ground when I know something or believe something. I don't sway in the wind. I used to be a door mat, was so respectful, polite, and obedient but as I've gotten older and had to be responsible for and in charge of others, I've become pretty belligerent when I need to be.

This was my 1st ride on him when I tried him last year 24th of December. He's gotten SO much better about contact and actually rides up to the contact like a normal horse now. Most of our rides or program we're in is about training the right reactions and putting in a good foundation or basics. His movement has improved a lot since then and still a LONG road ahead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibYEAVa0p2A

July 24th

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kiyJBLJQZY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST_U_T2j_TA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRWMG8f0Ju0

September

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WM0hV-f_Ym8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdujmwLTWic

November (we rode bareback for about 5-6wks)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fD8JbKqpUY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxwX7KjlHAE


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7JMqGDlsDg

I thought his stretch was pretty cute and I finally got to try my new polka dot polo wraps  I love them. They're cute and playful without being too much.


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## whisperbaby22

I think you have to ask yourself why someone commenting on your horse would rile you. Yes, a constructive critique is always welcome, but when you get those know-it-alls, it's possible that they are jealous. You have an great horse, and you ride very well.


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## Skyseternalangel

So happy you have a journal


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. And I thought it could be fun to look back on and share the ups and downs we all go through as horseman and women.

I'm not really sure. This was on my fb. I just posted some undersaddle pictures because his breeders and previous owners like keeping up with how he's doing. The person who said things gave me a few lessons when I was a kid, like 13-14 and I think because of that she thinks she knows more than I do and it's an ego thing. And she very well could be jealous *shrugs* I've done a lot more than she has since that time. She's not a bad person, just IDK.

Like at my barn, we're all pretty encouraging of one another. The barn is nice because my trainer will kick people out who are basically a pain to be around or are nasty towards others which IMO is a great environment to be in. She has no tolerance for it and I don't either. Even at clinics I've seen several riders who I'd see ride and they were pretty blunt and unskilled with their horses but they had pretty tolerant schoolmasters and then they'd insult and bash all the other riders who they couldn't ride half as well as. I'm all about hey we're all working on something and at different stages in our riding but that rubbed me the wrong way. I don't know I think maybe it bothers me because my mentality is different and I don't like being unreasonably put down and I don't like seeing people do it to others. It's one thing for it to be constructive and be like well this person could do this, this and this better vs I can ride so much better than they can and pick them apart. To me that shows a big difference in class, character and what stage of riding that person is it. Usually more begginerish, shallow knowledge riders (like you can have 10 people all riding say 3rd-4th level but their depth of knowledge and ability will be totally different) are more critical of petty things and have the oh I could ride so much better mentality. For example my trainer who is in FL among the international GP riders and olympic riders and she said the biggest things she noticed down there between the really good riders and the great riders is their mentality. She said the really great riders (regardless of if they're olympians or not) have a humility to them and do not look at the room as I'm the best rider here but just ride and have a real empathy for their horses. 

I look at training horses as a process and I'm not into getting on them and just making them do a bunch of stuff because it doesn't work for actually training a horse. Like I could get on Dante I could make him do half pass steps or I could run him into changes but what's the point in that? It's more important the horse has correct responses and correct basics like haunches in, shoulder in, a good counter canter, he's started collection and you can get a few steps when he's willing and ridable.

Here is me riding from 8yrs ago on my old eventer. I was a weird kid (well I still am but more normal). I was pretty eccentric and always got compared to Sheldon. I still do but not as much. In the Marines I had someone introduce me as "probably the smartest person they've ever met but she has no common sense, please help her" and "she's crazy but she knows her stuff" and when they said this it was a form of endearment and kind of a backhanded compliment. I see how far I've come since then and that horse was so talented. I would love to have him again. Over fences he was a freak over big stuff, little stuff he was alright. I'd get into eventing in a heartbeat if I had him again, though I'm not as brave as I was then lol. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCvFo6GwFR8

My trainer (the one in FL and not home) suggested I get Dante tested for lymes and EPM. It may not be it but it's worth a shot and may explain some of the weirdness. He's always been quirky, always been temperamental but he's usually willing and mostly reasonable. Like there's a reason he's not willing or not happy to do something. He's always had a good work ethic.

Some older stuff. Kahlua is from 8yrs ago? we hadn't jumped in about 6-7 months (I switched to dressage) but I wanted some over fences shots. Jelly is an OTTB, Leo is a horse I rehabbed, Sport was a horse I had a free lease on for 2yrs (schooled advanced level eventing in the UK, the horse and not me but barely ridable like trying to ride a cat), Ivan was a 17.2h holsteiner I rode for 2 years and have NO riding pictures or video of him or Sporty which saddens me, Leo I rehabbed off a suspensory, I rode/rehabbed him for a good year (he was off for about 18mo) we did a schooling show. He started cantering that month, then Comet I also rehabbed (5yr old trakehner) and no video/pictures which again saddens me but too late now. And there were a lot of other horses I rode but don't have pictures/video or anything else. Germany we weren't allowed to take pictures (we could take them but not post them, so we ended up not taking very many and I hate myself for not taking more). It was the most interesting barn I've ever seen in my life. But I will say riding in draw reins was weird. I made them pretty loose but the horses I rode were so tight, I couldn't ride them in a forward, into the connection way. I had to half halt with more power than I had. And they were so dull, I was surprised because the horses I was used to were more responsive.

Ivan (grey), Sport (black), Comet (bay at bottom), Kahlua (over fences), Jelly (bay tb after Kahlua), Leo (chestnut).


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## Tihannah

So glad you started a journal! Will definitely be keeping watch on your progess with Dante!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Not too much of an update but I'm getting insurance on Dante because he's my baby and I want to make sure it's there if we need it. I am calling the vet about an EPM and lymes test. One of my trainer's horses in FL was having very similar weirdnesses to Dante and they had him tested for EPM and put him on the medicine and all the weirdness and mystery lamenesses have ended. Then another horse she has in FL was having weird issues we couldn't figure out for a long time but he ended up having lyme disease. Definitely worth a short but am not looking forward to my vet bills next rotation. I don't even want to know what I've spent trying to find the problem lol. 

I also tried to get a pictures of his "Voldemort face" but anytime you bring out the camera he poses and looks expressive and cute, so a guy at the barn walked by so he'd make the "Voldemort face." In person it's much more Voldemort like because his nostrils have that slit shape when he's crabby. He likes sweet talk but he makes some awful faces. 

I did not ride him today, I'm giving him a few days off. At least until his butt muscle relaxes and isn't so sore. I may tack walk him but I want him happy. If something is going on, I don't want him to think riding and work = pain and anger. I want him to want to do it, he used to be really willing and awesome because he wanted to do it. He was tricky but so rewarding. I want that back lol. It's not fun when he's not happy in his work. I don't ride dressage to control a horse, I ride it because it's fun for us both and I love that feeling of unity and communication where we're extensions of each other and so aware of each other we become one. It should be harmonious. I love when I'm in the zone that I absolutely forget everything else and he's just happy and relaxed and with me. He's probably my favorite horse I have ever ridden for a reason. I want that back and figure out what's going on lol.


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## tinyliny

what is the purpose of polo wraps? I used to put them on, too, years ago, but I ride without them now, so was wondering what purpose they serve?

and, your horse could never scare me like Voldemort can.


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## Tihannah

There are some conflicting opinions on whether or not they actually provide support to the legs, but I use them, and think my girl performs better with them. They also serve as protection for the legs when schooling against bumps, debris, etc. Bright polos make it easier to see leg positioning during training too. In addition, I like the way they look on my horse, but because I'm more about the support than anything, I ordered some white Valena boots for her that will hopefully be in this week. I prefer boots, but polos are an inexpensive option AND you can mix and match colors to match saddle blankets.


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## Tihannah

@ Op - what are the issues that you're seeing with Dante?


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## DanteDressageNerd

I prefer polo wraps just because I feel they adjust to the horse's leg better and have more flexibility but still offer some support. I think they look better and arent as thick or restrictive as boots can be. I dont know that theyre necessarily that "supportive" but it does help with interference, especially when I do a lot of laterals because sometimes they'll cut themselves up or clip themselves. Dante will cut up his legs, especially behind because he's close behind. He doesn't do it as much as he used to and I think he'd be fine without but for schooling, I prefer that extra protection and support. I always ride Dante in over reach boots because he clips his heels when he gets really engaged and over his back. As he sits more he doesn't as much but when he's less up he can knick his heels pretty badly. 

Lol and I'm glad. Sometimes Im a little more cautious with him, he can be mean. I have a bruise on my hip from where he kicked me and it was totally uncalled for. I told him he has one mom and no one likes him enough to buy lol one of my friends who is a trainer and rides a lot of quirkier, sensitive types. I asked if she'd like to ride him and she was like nope, you can keep all that fun to yourself. It was encouraging. She described him as a professionals type of ride but unfortunately to sell, not talented enough for a professional to want. So limits options. Christmas I was petting him and he spun around to kick me, very intentional. I couldnt get out of the way in time. It was quick and dirty. He's good with kids though, just a bit vindictive.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious

Dante is such a doll--I know the faces could be a manifestation of something nefarious, but at least they make for cute photos.
I really hope the tests come back negative, and that things even themselves out over time. 

Looking forward to following your adventures!


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## Skyseternalangel

Have you ever done groundwork with Dante, when he isn't with a pulled butt muscle..?


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## tinyliny

I'd have a hard time loving a horse that spun and dirty kicked me just 'cause I was petting on him. it's a good thing it's YOU with him and not someone else.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Trust me he's NEVER done anything like that before, he's threatened once or twice in the cross ties but that was because I cleaned his sheath or when I touched his super sore muscle he swung his butt at me but didn't pick up his legs. He's not mean like that. I was shocked he did it and I kinda attributed it to him being on stall rest for a few days (he got kicked and needed stitches) and having a lot of pent up energy. I was not happy. I set him loose in the outdoor and just let him run for about 10 minutes or so.Though I will not be patting him in a paddock again. I was like buddy you better watch it, you only have one mom and most people aren't going to bend over backwards to make you comfortable. Someone else could turn him into kibble. He's usually really good, I don't know what's going on with him lately.

He's actually really good on the ground. I do ground work. I lunge and I do some in hand work. It is a skill I have. I've also worked with quite a few colts/stallions and quite a few babies from out of the womb to breaking (old boss/trainer breeds). As a working student and groom I was very strict about things. You don't have a tolerance for the little stuff when you're handling 20 some odd horses a day and not all horse are nice, so I'm very big on manners. Some you need them to fear you or they will hurt you. Dante is not like that, he is usually very receptive and respectful. He is very sensitive about things though, so no big movements around him or he gets pretty nervous.

And he's usually a really good boy and very sweet. Loves nose kisses and scratches and affection. He's cheeky and playful but not mean or overly belligerent. This stuff is pretty recent. He's done naughty stuff before but more like typical baby type stuff, not naughty or being aggressively belligerent. This is all pretty recent which is why I'm upset about it. I know how he's handled, I know how he's kept and been treated, so it doesn't make sense to me. I don't know if being in more is part of the problem, as he still gets to go out for a few hours but it hasn't been all day like he's used to. I just don't get it.

I kind of hope it's EPM or lymes because treating a horse for that early enough is a lot easier than trying to fix an attitude problem. He's also coming 6 in March so some of them go through a "teenage" phase and then grow out of it *shrugs* I just hope this isn't permanent and we can get it all sorted out. I really like this horse. He's quirky but reasonable.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Good news Dante was MUCH happier today. He had a few days off and is finally going out in his pasture, rather than a dry lot so I think that's helping him. His whole demeanor was entirely different and he was acting like his usual self. Playful, bit cheeky. Stole my hat off my head and played with it, grabbed my jacket and wouldn't let me go when I tried to leave. He was like no mom you're staying with me and he started scratching the back of my neck with his lips when I scratched his chest. He's very gentle and just uses lips but he's a dork. I'm just happy he's acting like his old self, his eye even looks softer and not so disgruntled.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIVfnYRdv-M

The sore butt muscle is a lot less than it was. He let me massage it today. I rode him bareback and he was actually really good. I think his back is bothering him and I VERY distinctly felt the difference between his right and left stifle. After he warmed up it was better, he was very loose, fluid and willing but hard to get him even in both reins. Didn't want to take the left rein both directions and I know it's from the right stifle which is sore but the vet said he needs to stay in work. He was supposed to start steroids for it but haven't gotten them yet. Did some haunches in work and that has improved A LOT since the last time I worked with him on it. I love haunches in, they feel so much more supple, straight and on your aids. Like he'd maintain the bend with his haunches in and leg yielding was WAY easier to ride him straight. Was pretty good both directions, first time going right that I could maintain the bend in haunches in on him without having to leg yield every few strides  it's the small things and haunches in can be hard for horses to learn and do correctly. I didn't go very steep, just asked that he was willing and listening. And he was pretty good. Still getting the lymes and EPM test and probably going to have the chiropractor look at him again.


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## Bondre

DanteDressageNerd said:


> He's also coming 6 in March so some of them go through a "teenage" phase and then grow out of it *shrugs* I just hope this isn't permanent and we can get it all sorted out. I really like this horse. He's quirky but reasonable.


.

Interesting you say this about horses having teenage phases. My mare is the same age as Dante, coming 6 in March, and we are in a testing phase too. I started her at three and a half, and until she was 5 she was really good, barely tested me once. And then some attitude started creeping in, and since last summer she's tried out bucking, stalling out on me, all sorts. All combined with some genuine fear so sometimes I don't know how hard to get after her when she misbehaves. **sigh** I'm hoping it's a teenage phase too, as it takes a lot of the fun out of riding when you have to be on your guard. 

I'm glad to hear that Dante was better yesterday. Maybe he's just been cranky because he's sore. It sounds like he pulled that muscle pretty bad. Hope he's on the upturn now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanteDressageNerd

For sure they definitely have their phases, just like people. I remember watching a video with Karl Hester and Charlotte Dujardin where they described having youngsters and they experience the same stuff we are where as 3 and 4 or 5yr olds they're very agreeable, sweet, nice babies but as they become 5, 6, 7yr olds and they get strong, have more know how and are more confident they can go through a "naughty" teenager type of phase. In a way it makes me feel better that even the number 1 riders in the world experience the hard ships when developing youngsters. Good luck with you mare! She is part arabian too right?

But thank you. I think his muscle was pretty sore too! I'm sure it was part of the problem.

Some videos. 1st one he's having a bit of a tantrum, not a horrible one just having a tude. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABYus89Faiw

This is an earlier video. Not perfect and not he is very bouncy and has a lot of movement. His canter gets much easier to ride as he sits more and more but he can only do so much right now. Was too late in my aids through the turn and set it up poorly for him for counter canter circle. I usually do better. And did not ride the canter shoulder in very well but I also couldn't just "make him do it" and package him. You ride this horse like that and he will just toss his head back at you and give you the finger. I had someone tell me to just package him, push him on and make him do it and I was like okay and when he rears up and flips over on me are you going to peel my body off the arena floor? I can be a jerk sometimes 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3tpR43_Apw

Right side I got crooked. Not my best riding but I learn every time I watch as I hadn't had lessons with him in about a month and had quite a few set backs. Reins were also far too long and should have broke into more laterals and 3 loops serpentines. He's an interesting horse to ride. Sometimes you just gotta accept what you can get. Encourage him to be better but can't make him or you'll just meet resistance and lose willingness. And he is hard to sit. He isn't painful or jarring but he's very bouncy. The more engaged he gets the more bouncy. My trainer explained that that's part of the stage of his training and as he progresses and can sit more and more, he will become less bouncy but he may become bouncier too. I really need more left rein and to just give him the right and move him over. We get better as it goes. He humped up his back at me transitioning into canter right and I didn't stay as stable as I should have but oh well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWKRwk7TSOU

My friend riding Dante. Don't judge her riding off of this, she's a very nice rider. He is HARD to ride and much harder to ride on a shorter rein. Your timing has to be so spot on and you always have to give and encourage. If she locked her hips he'd just shut down. He was honestly really good and she did a good job.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKwanLYYdxw


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## heymckate

I'm glad I ran across your journal. Thanks for sharing. 

I've been having some odd issues pop up with my horse lately as well--while I was busy trying to fix some hind end lameness, a mystery front end lameness showed up, along with some occasional bouts of moodiness and a very tight back. I'm currently waiting for the results to come in from the EPM test. Lyme Disease isn't very common here, but I'm not ruling it out either.

Best of luck to you. I know how frustrating it all can be.


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## whisperbaby22

No you do not push the horse on, that's what people who want a short cut do. I know this is a journal and not a critique, but I thought on the first video he started out unbalanced. Since dressage is supposed to build the horse from the inside out, he was not able to work consistently. Definitely got better through the videos. He will get not more bouncy, but more springy as he learns to keep his back up under you, and you figure out what is going on with him.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Good luck with your horse as well!! I entirely understand the frustration, it's like you do everything you can to try to help them but feel like your at an end. I really hope they find out what is wrong with your horse and the end is a positive result for you both!

And I don't mind. We're not perfect and I mostly agree with you. With him it's hard because sometimes you can be more consistent in the bridle and hold that extra half second and get him that much more over his back and that much more through and engaged and other days, if I do that he is very fussy about it. I give a lot when I ride him, perhaps too much but he has a tendency to get really behind if you don't constantly keep sending him out and giving him the contact to work into. We've improved a lot with that. I should have had shorter reins (bad habit of mine) to engage more my back and core and be more engaged. The trainer I'm working with atm is very good, she rides through GP but she's not as familiar with us, so sometimes in a lesson I'll be like I can't do that with him or he needs to do this before he can do that. Like if we're gonna play with shortening and lengthened strides he has to be really motivated. Like when he's on it all you have do is open your hip and send him, if you just ask how most people do he just pins his ears and humps his back up. He's tricky about most things. You have to do things a particular way and what is "technically" right or a more conventional approach doesn't work with him. And you can't drill on him, you have to suggest, encourage and invite. It was interesting too because in my last lessons with her she's like I feel like everything will fall into place, it's just making Dante happy and wanting to do it.

I think we're on the right path though. When I cliniced with Devon Kane (international GP rider) who trains my trainer. You won't find many videos of her on youtube and the ones they have don't do her justice but when I cliniced with her she said he had very correct responses. Looked like a tricky youngster but I was very tactful and rode him well. She's a super nice person too, very down to earth and kind. She develops a lot of youngsters and rides a lot of tricky horses. Her trainer is Hubertus Schmidt.

I think he's always going to be bouncy because he has a very short back. I've ridden a lot of horses that had bigger strides or more suspension but they're not nearly so bouncy as he is. He has the 17 vertebrae and a very small saddle placement. I'm thinking I'm going to have to buy him a custom saddle at some point with short panels because he doesn't have enough back placement for a 17 1/2in saddle. The fitter who did my saddle is AMAZING, fits olympic riders but is just as happy to fit a trail horse and did something with the flocking so the panels don't come back so far and so the saddle follows the curve/shape of his back but I have to set it perfectly. And I talked to her about custom options down the line. She's the only person I'd feel confident ordering a custom saddle from because that's 4600 dollars but she wont' steer you wrong or misguide you. She turned away a customer from buying a saddle right now because the horse was too thin and beginning his training, so she said to wait and she'll fit that horse again. I could ride in a 17 but realistically when you start climbing the levels you really need a saddle that fits you and the horse really-really well.

He got his steroids yesterday, I sneak attacked him with it but he should be happy I know how to give shots or it would have been worse. He was like oh how wude! But I lunged him to see and going right it was extremely hard to get him to bend and warming up I could definitely tell how much his right stifle was giving him trouble. He worked out of it and was fine but huge difference left to right. EPM and lymes testing will be done in a week and his stitches will be taken out at that time too. He's also seeing chiropractor that day and has a new pasture buddy he likes! His pasture buddy is 20 but he's very playful but not aggressive, so I think they'll get along great. Dante's happier with a friend.

One picture in here is from when he was a baby last year vs now. And the galloping ones I don't think I've posted. Not 100% but I like them. He looks happy.


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## Tihannah

LOVE the pics playing with the hat!


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## Tazzie

I'm so glad I came across this journal! You just have to love that sassy Half Arabian attitude! My mare will be 6 in May, and she's been sassy since she hit 5! Curious to see how this year pans out! And she's similar to your boy in that she wants to be asked, not forced, to do things. Can make for an interesting ride since what worked once may not always work again. She also needs for you to give with the inside quite a bit. She won't allow anyone to hang on her or she gets REALLY fussy! Your boy is gorgeous! I've always been a sucker for a buckskin, and he looks fun, but definitely difficult, to ride!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you both. I think arabs and part arabs are just very sensitive about things. I don't think they're necessarily sensitive-hot but they're just very aware and have an opinion about what they feel lol. And being in the "teen" phase of their life can definitely ignite some attitude lol. But good luck with your girl, if that's her in your picture. She's very cute 

Dante's been pretty good for the most part. He's started his steroids, then I lunge him before I ride and periodically give him treats throughout a ride, plus he's out with a new pasture buddy. I don't know what has made the difference but he is night and day different from the last videos I posted. Like he'll actually let me ride him, not just surface ride him and feels like I can actually influence him without losing more than I gain. Much more willing, I can actually put my leg on without him humping his back up at me or kicking out. 

Last 2 rides he was much more over his back, much more through, much more willing and much more responsive. I did quite a bit of laterals with him. So leg yield from centerline to quaterline and back to centerline or centerline to the wall. He was actually pretty straight (not to start with) but finished pretty straight and it didn't feel hard to ride like I didn't have to organize every step to keep him straight. Quite a bit of haunches in and shoulder in. Haunches in has gotten a lot better, going right he doesn't maintain the bend as well so I prepare him with either shoulder in into haunches in or 10m circle into haunches in or leg yield step to fix the bend and back into haunches in. Right lead canter can still definitely feel his stifle. I kinda got onto him about bending right, working into the left rein and letting me half halt the left rein. It took a bit to get him soft and responsive but then he was like oh I CAN bend right and get my right hind underneath me. Did a bit of turn on the forehand on a circle and had him jump off my leg and let me half halt the left rein so I could give the right and have bend off my knee. I was more aggressive with him for that, I wasn't mean just strong. After that he felt like a different horse and I didn't have to be that strong to get bend or to get him to give me his whole neck. He wanted to swan neck it and I was like no you have to ride up into it, not suck back at it. He can work out so many different evasions which has been a challenge to overcome but if you just catch him and correct him, he's kinda like oh yeah that is a better way to do it. His walk felt like he had a much bigger over track, I felt like I could actually influence him without setting him off. Where as before it was like as a rider you didn't want to push him or you'd lose more than you'd gain. He's still quite a bit to organize and you do have to be very focused when you ride him but he's been a LOT better. So much more ridable. And on the lunge line the day after I rode him I saw a big difference in how he used himself and how he moved so I think I'm on the right track. Lessons after the chiropractor sees him, I want the trainer to see what he's like when he's normal and not mad at the world lol.

He's still getting tested on Tuesday for EPM and lymes just to be sure he doesn't have that but I'm happy and hope something has been worked out that's making him happier and more comfortable. Even on the ground, his attitude is WAY different. His expression is softer and happier looking. Unfortunately have taken pictures, been pretty busy of late.


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## Tazzie

I agree  I wouldn't call my mare hot exactly, just sensitive! And yup, that's my sweetheart last February 

I'm glad to hear your boy is feeling better!! You'll have to let us know the results of his tests!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Kind of been a crappy week. Not Dante's fault at all. He's actually been a delight to be around. I think the steroids are making the difference because he has been SO happy, even on the ground his eye is so much softer and he just seems happy. Bottom picture someone had just walked by him and he never looks happy with that. Talked to the trainer about his stifle issues and she said basically what the vet said about if a young horse has hind end lameness it usually will go away as they finish out growing and continue training. 

I didn't ride him for 3 days, I gave him 2 days off and yesterday I was not in the state of mind to be riding. If I'm very emotional or distraught I won't get on a horse. It's not fair to them and especially not on Dante. If I had that emotional energy and rode him, I think he'd be very tense and scared of everything in the arena. He's a nervy horse, I never take out my frustrations on a horse. If I can't cope, I just get off. You should never take horses personally. I don't do that but just that energy and vibe they get from you, horses are very aware and very sensitive. I knew I wasn't going to be able to cope or focus, so I lunged him and he was perfect.

I'm singing "You Oughta Know" from Alanis Morissette. This is more of an overview of what happened. I'm pretty tough but this stuff always gets me. Turns out a guy I gave a chance to is NOTHING like I thought he was. It's amazing how much it hurts, it's not just what they did but you feel like how could I be so naive? What did I miss? Am I this poor a judge of character? It shatters your confidence and belief in your ability to make judgments. Even looking back I can't find one moment where I'd have thought he was that kind of guy. I'm a former Marine I am VERY aware of how boys behave, I know the games, I know the lines, I know what they do. My sister's bf who specializes in psych and relationship dynamics was stunned, he said I really thought he was a decent guy, I really thought he cared about you. Anyone can pretend to be anything for a time. Plus this guy is in his 30s, an engineer, has sisters and is close to his mom, has a good dad. Wouldn't have thought it. I'm pretty tough but when it comes to matters of the heart and letting someone in, trusting them which is VERY hard for me to begin with. I don't take it well when I realize I was manipulated like a piece on a chess board and played. I don't think I ever will take that well because it's something that would NEVER occur to me to do to someone. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, you never get used to it. It's shocking every time. The only thing that upsets you is that you didn't see it coming, like does the level of difficulty of gaging jerk change as you "level up" with experience? I mean some of the conversations we had were very in depth in regards to character and people, I'm still shocked.


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## Zexious

I'm sorry to hear about your man troubles. Unfortunately, humans aren't nearly as black and white as some of our other mammalian counterparts, even though we'd sometimes like them to be. The real world very rarely translates as cleanly as it does in a lab (nearly done with my psych degree, so I can say that with confidence xD). Can I ask how long you were together?

On the plus side, I'm so glad to hear the steroids seem to be having a positive effect on Dante. He sure is a cutie <3


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## Skyseternalangel

I'm so sorry about you getting hurt  

Sending lots of hugs!


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## DanteDressageNerd

We were originally together a few months ago and would periodically talk between (him contacting me and actual talks) and I'm pretty against letting people back into my life once they step out but he was dealing with a lot of things going on at the time, so I didn't fault him for that. I thought he was a good guy, just having a hard time but at least he told me and he didn't take it out on me. He was upfront and honest. Then about I guess 2wks ago we started talking again and he sounded like he was in a much better place and he was talking about how he's been missing me for months and all kinds of sweet things you only say when you actually care about someone. We had a long discussion about the development of electronics and Tesla, etc. We're HUGE nerds/geeks. Like Star Trek, Star Wars, Firefly, math, physics, neuroscience, etc. He made fun of me for spending New Years doing math and economics and tried to convince me computer science sucks. He's also former Navy. He'd ask me how I was, asking me about Dante and things. And I talked to my sister's bf about it before and he was like yeah, it's worth a shot. He sounds like he really likes you, etc. I asked him why he missed me and he said because his dog who passed away liked me best and he had great taste. We looked at dogs. And certain things he did, most guys don't do unless they REALLY care about a girl. I don't want to let you down, he said and how do I know you miss me as much as I miss you.

And no. People aren't black and white. Some of the best wolves can be very convincing sheep. They're that good. My ex I was with for a year was a sociopath, best liar I've ever seen in my life. Like if you didn't know him, you would have thought he was as genuine and nice as they come which I guess is why I thought I would have known better. You get better at picking up on tells and inconsistencies. This guy isnt a sociopath and he always seemed considerate, didn't play victim or oh feel sorry for me or any of those manipulation tactics. Just seemed like a decent guy.

And thank you. Dante's definitely a cutie. He grabbed my coat and wouldn't let go. He's very perceptive and cuddled with me because he knew I was upset. Such a sweet horse.


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## Skyseternalangel

Girl you like Firefly? I LOVE Firefly! I'm trying to see the movie because I'm dying to see how it ends!!!

How did I just find this out now? Can we be friends?


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## Tihannah

Sorry to hear about the guy. I've had a few of those and it really SUCKS when you think someone is being genuine with you, only to find out it wasn't that at all. I was also married to a sociopath for 10 years. He would lie for no reason at all if he thought it somehow painted himself in a better light.

On a better note, I'm glad to hear Dante is doing so well! He looks really good in the pics! And I'm actually opposite of you. When I'm down or stressed, I find that riding helps me release all of that and helps free my mind for a little while. You are a rock star and karma is a b**ch. Keep smiling.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you both very much. And of course we can be friends. Firefly is great!! I'm also a Doctor Who and Supernatural fan.

It just sucks like I entirely doubt my ability to judge people. It has changed my perception of people. I literally can't look at people the same way because he was so good at playing me, if he could do that to me. Anyone could. We had in depth discussions about character and educating children (I love children) and I'm super passionate about developing children. I love kids. All the stuff we discussed he may have just made it all up and let me in to lure me into a false sense of security. And there was a ton of stuff he said he wanted to teach his kids about morality and values. Stuff he's written, so similar to my own and I did research about the stuff he said and it all checked out. I dont trust my judgment or ability to assess people. I have to quantify a new algorithm and isolate the variables that were out of place or I won't be able to trust again which may sound ridiculous but if your entire structure or basis for assessing people was shattered you would too and I have severe trust issues to begin with which he knew. Maybe a few variables were out of place but normal range for someone with a very high IQ. And there were things that felt out of place but such small things. I usually have a good sense of people and can pick up on things pretty quickly, especially having dealt with some of the people I have. All the guys I've actually let in my life have been exactly the same, sociopathic. You have to have sociopathic tendencies to be able to go out of your way to emotionally manipulate someone like he did me. It was very deliberate and well done. Pull the nice guy card, listen, open up, show vulnerability, express concern and all of it to achieve a singular goal. Meanwhile making me think he fully intended to build something with me. I like highly intelligent, confident, interesting men with leadership ability but that also means a higher liklihood of them being a sociopath. This guys IQ is around 150, not much higher than mine. He's much more gifted with math, science and tech but I'm a lot more emotionally intelligent/human. He's smarter than I am. I'm genius level in the problem solving, analytical, and puzzle area. And that's not bragging, it actually really sucks because I was so Sheldon-like my whole life (I'm super literal and probably the worst liar you'll ever meet, so I don't understand when people do these things). I literally don't understand basic things most people do instinctively. My brain works like a computer. I had to read books and video on how to socialize like basic stuff like eye contact. I listen a lot and pick up on a lot but this shatters my perception of people. Didn't say anything to him, he probably thinks it's hilarious he could pull the wool over my eyes. Those kinds of people literally dont care about you or how they hurt you, they don't feel bad. They're proud of it.

And I'm very sorry you were with a sociopath for so long!! It's amazing how their brains work. They're a special kind of jerk, you can't even explain to people who haven't experienced it what it's like. It shatters your ability to believe in yourself or trust your own judgment. They can seem SO different from what they really are and it makes you doubt everyone and everything.

I didn't ride Dante today. I probably should have but when I'm like this I just didn't think it was a good idea.


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## Skyseternalangel

I don't know if I've ever been with anyone that was smarter than me, but I have been manipulated... many many times. It really murders any trust you can muster for people. I trust very few, and even those I trust I still second guess my trust all the time

Why can't people just leave other people be, if they have no interest. None of this using or lying or purposefully hurting... can we just not have that in life? That'd be great


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## Tihannah

DanteDressageNerd said:


> And I'm very sorry you were with a sociopath for so long!! It's amazing how their brains work. They're a special kind of jerk, you can't even explain to people who haven't experienced it what it's like. It shatters your ability to believe in yourself or trust your own judgment. They can seem SO different from what they really are and it makes you doubt everyone and everything.


Yea, people that don't know him, love him, because they think he's such a great person. Even his family doesn't know the extent of his illness. He's not just a sociopath, but a narcissistic sociopath that doesn't see consequence. It made my life hell because I never knew what he was gonna do next that I would have to somehow fix or cleanup. I was the glue that held everything together, and when I left, it took less than a year for him to completely destroy his life. He sunk himself in tons of debt for no reason, had his car repossessed 3 times (each time his mother would pay to get it back), got put out of the military. Now I hear he is working as a bouncer in a club getting paid under the table. He hasn't seen his kids in over a year and doesn't call or support them. But of course he blames it all on me telling people terrible things about me and that I won't let him see his kids. He's never even made an effort, but it was a judge that suspended his visitation when he got a DUI with my daughter and 2 nieces in the car.:neutral:

Because of the years I spent with him, I am a different person. Even though my guy now is the most wonderful person and we've been together 2 years, there is still a part of me that is somewhat detached. There is an emotional barrier that he can't break through and doesn't understand why and I can't explain it to him.

The good thing, though, is that you didn't have too much time invested in this guy. You won't know it till it happens, but when that guy comes along that is TRULY into you and genuine, you won't have to second guess yourself. Until then, you just have to find a way to be happy with yourself. Be proud of your accomplishments and who you are. Someone else will see that light and be drawn to it like a moth to a flame.:wink:


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## DanteDressageNerd

I just wanted to say thank you both for your support and consideration. It means a lot to me and thank you so much for sharing your story and encouraging words. I think it's harder to "just get over it" when you realize how easily you were played and manipulated. It takes something from you knowing that there are people out there who will treat you like that and can be so convincingly authentic. It makes you boiling mad and it hurts, intentional deception is atrocious because they destroy your trust by taking advantage of your better nature. They appeal to you and know exactly what to say, do and how to act to make you believe they're the real deal. I am so sorry to hear what you went through. I can't even imagine what it's like to spend years and build a life with someone like that. They can be so good at deception, even their family or people who have known them for years and years would have no idea. Your ex sounds terribly typical for the narcissistic sociopath, they're also EXTREMELY skillful emotional manipulators. They blame everyone else, lie about the people they've hurt and care about no one and nothing but themselves. They never take responsibility or personal accountability, it's everyone else for not delivering them perfection. I'm really-really sorry you dealt with someone like that and your kids but I'm really happy you found someone so AMAZING and who treats you like you deserve. It gives me hope!! But I well imagine the emotional damage, it's hard if not impossible to be who you were before an experience like that. And people who haven't experienced it can't understand which isnt a bad thing, they just haven't experienced it. It changes you, it changes your outlook, how you look at yourself and others. One of those things that is just astounding and when you realize how malicious, cruel and twisted people can be you almost wish you didn't know. Ignorance is bliss. But you're absolutely right. I'm so lucky to have gotten out before it really developed into something. I don't know if I believe in someone being out there for me anymore. I don't see myself having a future with someone, I worry the next guy will be just as deceptive and I'll be just as fooled.

I will never understand people. I will never understand WHY people are purposefully malicious or how they can intentionally go out of their way to hurt others. I'm with you it would NEVER occur to me to treat someone like that, it would never occur to me to make up lies or intentionally hurt someone. The only thing I've been able to conclude is they're hollow inside and live for the short term and lack empathy. Some people are predators and literally do not look at you as human. They simply do not care how much they hurt you - they think it's funny and it's a major boost to their ego that you cared enough about them that it hurt. They just don't care how it affects you, only how it affects them. It's sick, it's beyond F'ed up. I'm a sociopath magnet, for whatever reason I'm subconsciously drawn to them and they intrigue me because I like strong men, I like intelligent, have their act together, leadership types. I'm also very kind and genuine andmy sister's bf pointed out I'm also very attractive, so to guys like that they feel good about showing me off. Because some guys consider it apart of their "status" if they have an especially attractive woman. It's beyond disgusting but A holes objectify women. They look at us as less than human, they look at us like toys or prey and know exactly what to do and say to make you think you're worth something to them.

With him our IQs are within points of each other. I sound like a snob saying this but we're pretty close, just different in how it is distributed. He's stronger in the math/science area and much more creative, plays 5 instruments, writes music, can draw well and I'm stronger in the philosophical, neuroscience and social science type subjects. I relate information better and usually I could find his errors in logic and correct them, can work out the loop holes in his reasoning and he'd be like you make me feel stupid and I'd feel bad because I'm not about that. I'm just passionate and get so excited to have someone to talk to about those things. Last talk I had with him he was actually rude and made fun of me for being so passionate and compassionate. 

GOOD NEWS Dante was fabulous. He had his blood drawn, stitches taken out, and he nickered at me when he saw me. I see him almost every day and he was like OMG Mom!! Mom!! I missed you, love me!! Give me scratches!! He was so sweet. He's a one person kind of horse, he's not really sweet towards anyone else. He's like but you're not my mother!! It's funny. I've never had a horse like that but he's a love. Undersaddle he was awesome. I did not lunge him because the horse in the area wouldn't have handled it and he goes much better being lunged first. He feels so much more ridable, fluid and through. We did a lot of developing 2nd level type work since he's actually allowing me to ride him. So 10m circles in canter into shoulder in, leg yield in canter, walk to canters, counter canter, simple changes, 3 loops serpentines, haunches in is still developing he has the bend and can bring his haunches in walk, trot, canter but they need more angle. Haunches in left really helped left canter. Worked a bit on developing collected gaits so quite a few transitions and getting him to really sit and carry behind for a few strides. He actually let me compress his frame and he still stayed through if he'd get tight or lose bend I'd just go into a leg yield or onto a single 10m circle and give and he went back to felling fluid and soft. He also did some good lengthenings which we haven't done in a while. Towards the end it was definitely not perfect but it felt productive. And I was like oh yeah I forgot I knew something lol. He was silly. His spooks are like I'm focused everything is good to OMG I've never been scared of that before but I'm jumping side ways. Not even an ear flick or tension until he does it lol.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Got quite a bit of that disaster out of my system. I've been through worse. I think my trouble was EVERY SINGLE guy I've felt connected to or let into my life in a romantic way has been a sociopath and I'm just like what is wrong with me? I think it's because they come in, they're good at reading people and can come in seeming like everything you ever wanted. You think this is too good to be true, yet here it is. And you get pulled in. They're charming, funny and confident and engage so well in conversation you get swept up in it believing it is what it seems to be. With this last guy a lot of the "quirks" I wrote off as emotional damage and normal smart people weirdness. I have a lot of those "smart people" quirks and I'm emotionally damaged, so who am I to judge? And I kinda take people at face value, I'm very genuine, upfront and honest, so it still kinda shocks me when people aren't like that. I've also come a long way in being able to read people but it still gets me because the way this guy looked at me seemed so real and so genuine. It felt like the real thing and it was all a feigned facade. And he's quite a few years older than me and MUCH more experienced at manipulating and using people than I am at reading the signs and unfortunately life is something of a game. They don't tell you that when you're a kid but it sucks. And unfortunately you have to read the manual and learn to play because there are enough of these people out there, if you don't learn they'll destroy you. Very destructive creatures. I think I'm going to minor in psychology. I've always enjoyed it and honestly need to learn SO much more about people.

But the important topic is Dante and he is doing well. I had a lesson this morning and he was mostly good. I think his saddle is starting not to fit as well, as his back shape has changed quite a bit. I think is why he was more quirky than he's been the last few rides. Right lead canter felt the best it ever has. He felt like he had a real regular rhythm, plenty of jump behind and lift in his shoulders. Dare I say he felt trained and not like a baby? I rode in spurs today, he's developing 2nd and I like spurs as a refining tool. He's pretty sensitive about them but I've ridden in spurs a lot in the past, so I didn't accidentally get him or anything or I think I'd have to be fished from the rafters. I was so glad this trainer got to see what he's like more normal, so we had a REALLY productive lesson. I felt like I learned a lot and got a lot from it. She refined some of my aids and gave us some really good suggestions. And the Lady that has probably one of the nicest horses in the barn was like wow he's really nice, is he some kind of warmblood? And the trainer was like no he's arabian/quarter horse. And she was like well he's really nice, that trot and with that canter transition you did everything right, yet he tossed his head and I was like he's just really sensitive and a little special. And the trainer was like no he's really special. He has the A holeness/belligerence/attitude from the qh and the sensitivity/jumpy/nervousness from the arabian but I love him. He's so fun to ride. He's super smart and he will try his heart out for you and he feels absolutely amazing undersaddle (when he's cooperative/reasonable). He's so sensitive when he's really on it you don't even feel like you're doing much of anything, you're just like could you please? 

Pictures below are kinda Dante from last year as a baby to now. The riding pics are from my first ride on him. I'm aware he's behind the vertical that has been a real struggle in developing him. He can break his neck in 3 parts and his back in 2 or 3 and then his hind end. He can put a leg in each corner, so it's been tricky and you can't just go put your body part here or there. Just lots and lots and lots of work lol. Thankfully I've had lots of help because honestly I haven't ridden a horse who can contort their body in the ways this one can or you can have very gentle hands but if they're too consistent he will put his chin to his chest. He had to learn quite a few half halts to get him to pick up and work into the contact, rather than suck behind. It's been a mess training him but I learned SO SO much. We've progressed SO MUCH since then, he has been hard to develop and to teach contact to. And he's gone through quite a few interesting growth stages. He was SO downhill for a while I was a little worried he was going to stay that way. I've almost owned him exactly a year. Our birthdays are coming up in March, our birthdays are 2 days apart.


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## whisperbaby22

As far as man troubles go, all an old lady can advise is to keep true to yourself. And I did not find the love of my life until my late 30's. Dante looks great, I'm glad he is doing so well.


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## Tihannah

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Our birthdays are coming up in March, our birthdays are 2 days apart.


That's so funny that you say that! Mine and Tessa's birthdays are coming up in Feb and we are 5 days apart! Lol. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be! :wink:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you and it is good advice  and thank you. Dante is a good man, he's my kid lol.

I'm not in a rush and value a quality-healthy relationship first but I really want to get married and have kids someday and I kinda feel like that just isn't going to happen or if it does it will be past the point of having kids. I have friends who tried in their late 30s-40s and couldn't get pregnant, even with fertility treatment. And I LOVE kids, it would break my heart if I didn't get to be a mom and build a life with someone. I didn't realize how bad I wanted that until I got out of the Marines and calmed down a lot. I still miss the Marine Corps. I was very well respected and well liked. I had a lot of friends who I still talk to. I was a mentor for a lot of girls but I don't hear from them much anymore. I'm very stoic about things, so no matter what I was going through they never saw it because I looked at it as I'm here for them. When someone is looking to you for guidance, it's very wrong in my eyes to break down in front of them - you don't want them to see your pain. Like your mom, no one wants to see their mom cry. I'm a pretty strong person, I've been humbled a lot, I've cracked, I've broken down and wished I wouldn't wake up. I have manic depression but most people would never see it because I hide it pretty well. I've gotten more open about it but I was pretty ashamed for a long time. I'm kinda broken I guess lol. But if you met me you wouldn't see it. I smile a lot, I joke a lot, I love to make people laugh I will go out of my way to make someone smile, even strangers just because for one moment I made someone happy. I'm all about taking care of the people who need it and I'm very protective of others. I will stick up for the underdog, if I know they're a good person I will fight for them when they give up. I've gotten more selfish with age, more cautious, more careful and it wasn't enough. I've had a lot happen, so I really thought I would have known better or seen through the facade, especially because the only guys I have been involved with have been sociopaths and given so much time between them. I didn't date in my teens, waited til my 20s. After the 1st one I waited 4yrs before getting involved with someone, that lasted a year and I waited another year before getting involved with the last one. But I'm also a good target because I'm stupid compassionate, patient and understanding, I don't wear my heart on my sleep but they know a sucker when they see one. I don't take my issues out on others. Like the last one I had doubts and anxiety and was so scared but I never showed him that because I thought it was just my trust issues, just my insecurities getting the best of me and that's not his fault. I thought he was like me and he seemed SO genuine and so thoughtful and kind, I thought I finally made a good choice and thought he just had some baggage and emotional damage but I have baggage, I'm damaged. And I gave him a chance because the things he said made it sound like he thought I might be the one and he was in a better place in his life and ready. Maybe too personal a statement but I don't care. It's how I feel, kinda numb, kinda detached. I've opened up to people a lot more this week.

And for sure!! When it's meant to be, it's meant to be!! And very nice happy early birthday should I forget


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## DanteDressageNerd

Today is ending better. Still working on breaking baby Saturday who isn't so baby, he's 5. He's the chestnut horse a few posts up. He's VERY tricky to break. He's a half arab too, registered oldenburg. And it's been a hassle finding a saddle that fits him! He's so obnoxious without a good fitting saddle :/ like we haven't even been able to get him out on the lunge line and he is NOT getting a custom saddle. We're trying to break him and get him sold before he has to have a show record to sell. I don't know how to describe him, except as he's lazy and belligerent like some warmbloods but sensitive and quirky like an arab. But I truly I think once he's broke and has his own saddle He'll make a good amateur horse. I kinda wonder if we'll end up having to break him German style or being free lunged around the arena riding through all the bucking and potential rearing and staying on lol. Would really prefer not to do that, I don't have the fancy life insurance anymore. We'd be good if I was still active duty lol *kidding* but at least I'm pretty chill when horses spook, buck, rear and bolt. I'm just like huh so this is happening, cool. And with an unbroke baby it's totally different because they don't understand anywhere near enough to simply ride through it if that makes any sense. Like they're learning to steer and put their bodies where you put your weight.

From a month ago. First trot undersaddle. We always start sitting trot, it can freak them out if you go into posting because here they've never trotted with a rider on their back and if they feel the weight and shift of balance it can really freak them out. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWdXZqad51Y

I've decided I'm majoring in computers science and minoring in psychology. My sister has suggested it previously but I'm in agreement with her now. There are piranhas in the water and I'm drawn to them like a moth to a flame. They've all been smooth talkers, highly intelligent, attractive, athletic, charismatic and funny. Hard to realize it's all for show and all feigned. Hard to see someone break down in front of you and make it seem so real, only to realize it's all an act to gain your trust and manipulate you into falling for them. Make you putty in their hands to make you feel sorry for them because they know who is compassionate and who will be sucked in by emotional vulnerability, feigned so perfectly they could win an oscar. But I think I'm getting better at isolating key things that stuck out to me and hopefully I can identify them faster. I will say I figured out the last one faster than the previous one! I think they're so able to out fox me because I'm people dumb and don't pick up on things instinctually that most people do. I pick up on things logically and deduct my rationale and understanding that way.

Tomorrow I'll have a lesson on Dante, I hope he's still agreeable and we have a productive ride. My goal is for him to be schooling solid 2nd, starting or developing 3rd by the end of summer but we'll show 1st. He's never shown and I haven't shown in years, so hopefully it goes well but who knows. Then the year after that show 2nd and maybe 3rd if we get the scores. The jump from 1st to 2nd is HUGE if you do it right and 2nd to 3rd isn't so big but 3rd to 4th is big too. The PSG test is easier than the 4th level test. I don't want to think about it. I'm excited to think about it but I know it's still a long road and we have a lot of work ahead but I think these goal are pretty realistic. Goal is PSG by the time Dante is 10 and not at all excited for when I have to invest and ride him in a double bridle. I think he's going to be tricky to introduce that to and I haven't ridden in a double in years.


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## tinyliny

while this might not be your most shining moment, I like this photo, becuase it shows Dante having an "opinion" , as my trainer would say. and that you allow him to have an opinion, . . . . I like that.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. I just don't think you can blame a horse for having an opinion. You're not going to beat it out of them and honestly all it's going to do is lose trust, unless that horse is especially belligerent and disrespectful and needs to be shown the line. But I think then it's just being firm and making them listen and mind in all the little details. He's been an interested horse to develop, I've learned a lot riding him and been fortunate to have some really good teachers and guidance. I've honestly never had a lot of the issues I've had with him on any other horse and I've ridden some quirky wierdos. Like with getting behind, I'd ridden plenty of babies and green horses who start off doing that but then they'd grow out of it after they figured out how to half halt and get their bodies organized. Getting his body organized and getting him to sit behind has been interesting because for a while he'd try to rear when you didn't get your timing spot on (hasn't tried that since July or August). Same with training him to halt and stand still he'd be like I don't want to, I'm going to rear now and I'd have loops in my reins. He can brace or break in 3 parts of his neck, plus you hold a steady connection for too long and he'll put his chin to his chest, then he has 2 or 3 places in his back or can put a leg in each corner. I ride on him with a more forward leg because he won't always bend all the way through his body, so you have to leg him in the shoulder to get him to give. I feel like I do it more in shoulder in but it gets better and better. And I almost forgot about this but he used to be SO fussy in the bridle (I still don't know why) but you'd literally just send a pulse or tremor down a finger and he'd act like I just ripped his teeth out of his jaw and flip his head back at me and hump his back. It's just been an interesting experience. My favorite horses are always these types. They may be quirky but I'll tell you what they'll work harder and are so smart you can really accomplish a lot with them once you work out their quirks and accept some days are just going to be painful and don't take it personally. You can do everything mostly right and still have a lousy ride lol.

That picture was from this video. He was super green and baby. He mostly steered but he really didn't understand a lot. I can cover up a lot which I've learned to train better now, rather than ride clever. And I still have habits like if a horse is being unpredictable I tend to get heavy in my seat and really anchor down. I've ridden so many powerhouse types it's what I'd have to do to organize and keep them from over taking me to hot, jumpy types where you'd anchor down so you don't get tossed or they'd react so sharp off the aids you'd have to anchor down to save yourself from getting left behind. But it's hard to get out of it once you've done it as kind of "survival" mode. Dante's sensitive but he's not that kind of sharp and he's not a powerhouse. Very light in the bridle. Times to be strong but it's mostly upper back and core.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=870-39wtIzU

Earlier portion of video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibYEAVa0p2A

This was a couple months ago. He's a special cookie. I didn't have a saddle that fit him for like 5 or 6wks and I was like well looks like bareback riding. A friend gave me a bareback pad and until I had that I couldn't canter him, he'd basically go into a bucking fit without it because his canter throws you around so much, especially if he's not really sitting behind and totally through.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeD_Co2pB0o

Whether it is people or animals, nobody is what you would call normal or conventional.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Update

Dante tested low positive for EPM, so I'm going to start treatment on him. I'm still exploring my options because treatment is pretty expensive. $800 dollars and I'm not exactly rich :/ but if it makes him feel better and makes some of the wierdness go away I'm all for it. One of my friends described him as having bipolar mood swings which he does as a symptom of EPM. Super happy, cheerful to ears pinned, crabby, swings his butt at you. It would also explain his wierdness about saddle fit and him being SO quirky to ride. And the muscle recovery issues.

Other than that we had a good lesson. He was a bit of a butt and when he's being a jerk you can get after him and be like no here it is, do it and he'll just hump his back up and kick out, then he's like FINE okay I guess you mean it. Literally all I got after him about was go forward, I add leg you go forward and he was in a nasty make me attitude. The trainer said he rides like a snarky mare. Because if you did that when he's not being a butthead he would shoot through the roof but if he knows he's being a jerk he throws a fit and then is like FINE! Frustrating horse sometimes. But all 3 gaits were the truest and purest they have ever felt, he almost felt like riding a mature/adult and trained horse. His canter didn't feel like being spun around in a washing machine. He felt great, just was a quirky butthead about it all. I had to pull all kind of tricks to get him just to move forward, come up over his back, bend and actually let me half halt :/ He was exactly the same on the ground as he was undersaddle. I actually smacked him which I never do and he tried to turn his butt to me like he was going to kick me and I was like don't you dare! You *nasty slew of words* he's not that kind of horse. I hope it's just the EPM messing him up. And it DOES affect their personality! Because he's really a sweet guy! Like I've let kids handle him and he looks out for them and is super careful!


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## Skyseternalangel

Hugs!!! At least you can work towards getting him better now that you know what is upsetting him

Side note, that rolled noseband looks magnifique on Dante. So handsome!


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## Tihannah

I can't help but love his personality, but of course, I don't have to ride it out! Lol. But I do hope this is something that gets better for the both of you!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you both  and yes I LOVE the rolled leather look on him. He's the first horse I've had that had a pretty enough head for one lol. And thanks sometimes I really need hugs lol but at least we hopefully have something that will make him more comfortable and happier in life. I REALLY hope he feels better. And thank you lol. He has a MOSTLY good personality. He's really funny and super sweet, has to get into absolutely EVERYTHING. If I turn around for 5 seconds he'll have almost one part of his reins all the way in his mouth. His quirks are cute but some are like you butthead you could have broke me or don't bite your mother! Don't kick your mother!! And riding wise he is fun to ride most of the time. But when he's totally unreasonable and trying throw his head back and tries to hit me in the face it's not so cute lol. I was in a clinic and he had a total baby temper tantrum where I couldn't position or steer without him flinging his head back at me, refusing to go forward and kicking out and refusing to steer. With a horse like him you just have to be more resourceful, quick adapt and very focused. Some of it is like negotiating with a fussy old man and then it's like dealing with a belligerent teenager He's fun and he feels amazing when he's really on it but sometimes it's like really dude?

I didn't ride today. I was just in too much physical pain and I just can't ride him if I'm not totally focused and my lower back was just not feeling it. I haven't been hurting as badly lately but then it came back with a vengeance and I KNOW it's linked to my mental state. Funny how powerful the mind is over things like that. I was pretty reckless as a kid, there was a reason I was an event rider lol. I had no fear. Jumped my old event horse over a picnic table, granted that horse was crazy, scopey and careful. I've calmed down a lot. I was just such an intense, firey person. Now I just tell people I'm a dysfunctional veteran or I was a Marine and it explains it all lol.

But below pictures are Dante from today because today is our 1 year anniversary of actually owning him. The 1st one is the changes in Dante from 6 months ago to now. And his neck is huge. He's grown over an inch since that picture. There he stuck 15.2 1/2h and now he sticks 15.3 1/2h, 16h if his back is round. It's crazy. I didn't think he grew but after my lesson yesterday the trainer said she thought he grew and I insisted there was no way. He's turning 6 in March, so I sticked him and she was right.


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## Tazzie

Poor guy! I hope you get the EPM managed!

And he's just too adorable! Happy one year anniversary!


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## Skyseternalangel

Well maybe in the future I can give you those hugs in person! 

I hope you feel better soon. You're so right about it being mentally linked. Sometimes I can't feel myself tense up regarding a bad week or bad times until I go through my checklist of relaxation and I notice how hard my muscles are clenching in my back and trapezius area.

Dante is so handsome, that NECK holy toledo! And his topline around that wither especially... wow!


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## ChristineNJ

He's beautiful! Love his coloring!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you  I think the EPM will be fine since he tested low enough and it's early enough. Where he tested at the vet said they usually wouldn't treat it because most horses will test positive, however my trainer has a PRE who was having all the same weird issues as Dante and tested exactly the same. They treated him for it and all the weird issues they were having went away. Even at low levels, it can still affect them. 

Thank you and yes that's a possibility! We live pretty close together and I do drive through there to go to my sisters. Or if we host a clinic and the weather isn't as it is I'll let you know. 

And absolutely stress, anxiety and depression are all linked to influencing the body. It lowers the immune system, can affect recovery time, etc. It's incredible how powerful the mind really is.

And thank you. I'm pretty happy with how much his musculature has changed. I'm always fascinated with musculature because to me that reflects the horse's training program. He's also been on estrone for 2 weeks, so I know that has an effect but I'm still amazed. I pay a lot of attention to where they build muscle like for a dressage horse the big indicators to how that horse has been trained is right in front of the wither and behind the saddle, as well as the underneck. If they have minimal development behind the saddle that means they're never coming over their back or coming from behind, if their underneck is overly developed that means they're never relaxing and truly working over their topline, or if they don't have a straight or rounded muscle or what I call the throughness muscle (one right in front of the withers which is the hardest to get) they're not totally through. If a horse is green, young or not as developed you don't notice it as much because they're not as developed and may not have that education but on trained horses when you start seeing different horses at different barns and you look at the horse on the ground. You already know how that horse is being ridden and when you see the horse ridden are are like yep, that's why. Or there are knots of breaks in the muscle/topline that indicated bridle problems, tension or being behind, etc. It's SUPER cool to me lol. 

Here are a few videos from the Devon Kane clinic. This was I think my 3rd or 4th ride when I started riding back in a saddle. Stirrups were a hole too short and with these breeches I learned I had to hold my leg out off the horse to warm up so I could pull them up high enough so they aren't tight and lock up my hip.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yefizBDzfM4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwY-q4Q8I3g

And thank you. His summer coat looks TOTALLY different. I had a lady comment on my pics I posted and couldn't believe that was Dante. She thought I got a new grey horse lol. He still has the dapples in winter but they're not so obvious as in summer. And inside you don't see them as well as outside.


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## Alhefner

OK, I've been wanting to know forever but have hesitated to ask. What is this on Dante's back? I simply can't figure out what's going on and, I'm pretty ignorant in general still.


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## DanteDressageNerd

No. No problem in asking. It's not ignorant, I probably would not have known had I not been shown clipped horses. He was clipped and I've only ever done full body clips, so I didn't know the "proper" way to do a blanket clip. Later I was told how to do it correctly and was like nah it's too late, he's good, we're good lol. So it's just his long winter hair and the rest of his body is clipped. I bought him in Pennsylvania last year so he was expecting a PA winter, so he needed to be clipped.


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## Alhefner

Thank you! That clears it up perfectly! I was so confused.


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## whisperbaby22

Yes it is very common for the mind to irritate the back, then the back does get sore, and there is a feedback loop. You will figure this out. Dante looks great, I can see a lot of great movement there.


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## DanteDressageNerd

For sure! I have degenerative disks in my lower back and joint issues in my knees but I've only collapsed on them once. Tendinitis in my left hip flexor and my arches have collapsed. I didn't even know they did until I was in the VA office and they were like did you know about this? They get it, then civilians were like how did you not know? And I was like what with all the other pain? How was I to know? And definitely I'm still figuring out how to keep "sound" and healthy. I found an amazing supplement called orange triad + greens that made a HUGE difference with my joints. It's expensive but it works! I go to civilian doctors and they're like what have you done to yourself and I'm just like multiple hikes with 80lb packs for 10mi (I hiked through a strained IT band, just kept popping pills), running at least 20-25mi a week. I fell out of run for a while with my tendinitis but I was too stubborn to admit how hurt I was. I'd rather they thought I was just in poor shape then quit. Admitting injury was super frowned upon, especially as a female. I did cross fit, crawling through sand, 7.5mi runs with 1/2mi on dry sand. Sprints up half mile hills, carrying 45lb water jugs up steep hills, carrying guys (only female for awhile, my job had few women) so I was 5'7 150lbs (140 now) carrying 160-180lb guys and crawling through sand with them on my back, etc. Log lifts, falling off obstacle courses. I think I fell a good 10ft a few times and almost fell backwards off a rope 20ft up trying to climb up onto the logs but a DI grabbed my skivy so I didnt' fall backwards and die. I just remember crying because that was pretty scary, and the DI who hated me just screamed and told me all kinds of stuff I can't repeat to grab some wood chips and throw them in the air and say Army because I was that pathetic lol. Memories. All the stuff I can't do anymore lol. I'm in my mid 20s and can't hike 8 miles with no weight without extreme pain, even in my specialized running shoes. But I can still do pull ups. But that's why I'm not a Marine anymore.

And thank you. That was a really productive clinic. Devon is REALLY nice and very encouraging. She's so down to earth even though she's an international GP rider. I was really impressed with her. She actually grew up riding quarter horses and western. She trains with Hubertus Schmidt in Germany during the summer. She's my main trainers trainer in Florida.

This portion is pretty rough and when she says "good for you" that's her way of saying well I wouldn't have done that but you rode it well. I don't know what my problem was with riding the 3 loop serpentines lol. Live and learn I guess. Nobodies perfect. But you can see what I mean when your half halts are off how he reacts. He wasn't bad but he was fussy. Devon just said after the ride tricky young horse but you're a tactful rider and are well suited to each other. And she was pleasantly surprised by him. After this clinic is when he started getting weird, before he was just quirky and fussy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rZF00vqrcE


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## tinyliny

my niece was a marine. she went through basic, but was stationed in Okinawa, and was doing more office/desk type stuff. sounds perfectly unpleasant to me.


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## DanteDressageNerd

That's pretty normal. Depending on her MOS. Oki from what I understand is never pleasant, so many restrictions. It's kinda like being 16 and you're not really treated as an adult even as an NCO or above. I wouldnt have liked Oki. I heard the comradery is incredible and Marines really develop a family tight bond with each other and seeing Okinawa is incredible but that's about all I've heard that's positive.

Honestly there are a lot of good things about it, a lot of things I miss about the Marine Corps. Every person's experience is different but I loved what I did. I did technical stuff with computers and equipment. All our stuff was way outdated, then when I was hurt I did a lot of office work but I got to wear my blues on Friday instead of the pickle suit. I'd give briefs and became pretty comfortable talking under pressure. I knew everyone in my squadron and they knew me. I miss the comradery and the discussions. So many different perspectives, ideas, and people from all kinds of backgrounds. It was neat. It was actually really neat when I left the XO and CO actually said good bye to me personally. XO actually said it was the Marine Corps loss because I was a good Marine. That made me want to cry lol. I had a GySgt who hated pretty much everybody tell me I carried myself with pride and dignity which he admired and that meant a lot to me. In truth I admired him a lot too. A lot of people couldn't work with him but with him it was just do the work, be honest and upfront, don't be stupid, and take pride in yourself and being a Marine. He was VERY straight forward and sharp. He was a human lie detector and would call you out on it. You'd think you were telling him everything straight and he'd just hack at it until you reached the logical conclusions he was getting at. Could never present yourself as weak or without presence, especially in his presence. Don't avoid eye contact with him. I remember chewing out a few females for presenting themselves like little girls. I'll tell some of my friends these stories and they'll say I was so mean but I was being compassionate. Females have to present themselves as serious. They have to present some gumption and fortitude. They will be treated as an equal, if they act like an equal. If they act like a coward or child, they'll be treated like it. It doesn't mean acting like a man but showing confidence, not being timid, and owning up if you make a mistake. Being responsible. Confidence is a big one. Marines like somebody who knows how to follow orders and respect the chain of command but at the same time is willful, spirited and belligerent. You need take a good A.. chewing and develop a thick skin or you won't survive.

But regardless of anyones experience with it, you never stop carrying that pride around. You can still take charge and the leadership skills you develop are incredible.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Rode Dante today. Today I'd say he rode quite hot, sharp, and up. I LOVE it when he's like that because there is so much more you can do. When he's hot it's more getting his attention and getting the lateral suppleness but he's so responsive and sharp off the aids it's fun. He was super spooky, after he warmed up no issue but warming him up I didn't feel safe going into rising trot because he was SO up and hot. I didn't think I could get him as relaxed and focused posting but he jumped out a few times and wrenched my back. I can't bend over and pick up my cat, it hurts pretty bad but oh well. His spooks when he's like this are he's loose, focused, relaxed and in your hand to jumping side ways from a noise. Never in the same spot, just gotta go with it. Once he got going and focused he was AWESOME!! I was SO happy. These are the rides you live for. His trot and canter felt phenomenal. He was so on it and sharp off my aids. He responded so well to my half halts, seat, and actually let me use my spurs. Like I could touch him with my spur and he reacted properly and came more up and his leg yield felt amazing. It felt like a schoolmaster. He felt super ridable and sharp, it was awesome. All 3 gaits felt really good. It took a bit to get the lateral flexion and get him totally through because he was pretty hot but once he was it was like I'd position and he'd go from centerline to the wall by the time I got half way down the line. Did a shoulder in exercise 1/4 of the way down the wall, diagnol line shoulder in 1/4 way the other way. I tried not to be greedy. He did walk, trot, canter and was through and obedient, half halted really well and I got off. Couldn't have asked for more. Plus he gets cookies every walk break, so he really shouldn't complain.

I lunged him first because it seems to really help get him in the right frame of mind, focused and warms him up (he doesn't like being cold). His movement looked night and day different from what it had. I was like woah I actually do have a nice horse! Wow! His canter was so up, plenty of lift in front and jump behind. It was beautiful! And his trot I was actually quite impressed. Walk has improved a ton too. I was impressed and I felt super proud because looking at him go and looking that nice was like yes. You don't have to spend a fortune on a prospect for a nice horse. When I bought him a lot of people told me he'd never make it past 3rd, etc and I ignored them. If they saw him move now I don't think anyone would doubt he has potential to do the upper levels. Still cracks me up over the summer I ran into a trainer I used to train with and some people I knew. They've all seen me mostly ride pretty nice warmbloods and they have VERY nice horses but they asked me what I had now and I said a 5yr old quarab and you could just see the look on their face of probably a poor quality horse. They're not snobs, they're actually really nice but when they gave that look I was like here are some pictures and they were like oh yeah he's got potential. He's really cute.

Lesson tomorrow. We'll also be discussing what EPM meds to put him on, so we can get him started ASAP.


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## Skyseternalangel

Yay what a beautiful ride!! I love when they're rockets blasting off... so much to work with. I can't wait to read about your lesson!!

For Sky, he shows his rocketness in the canter. Man it's been awhile since we've had such a ride

I do hope your back feels better soon!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. I was pretty happy. He was so up, half halted really well like a trained horse, and responded so well to my seat and leg, I had a few greedy thoughts but reminded myself not to take a step too far and end up taking 10 steps back! I really thought I could have asked for some passagey trot and gotten it but I didn't want to lose what I had or get greedy and end up losing his cooperation and willingness. These are the rides that even in a depression place you up on cloud nine. 

You'll have another ride like it! They happen, even if they only happen once every few months. It's what you live for!

And me too! From what I've read this is pretty normal with degenerative disks. Sometimes they'll feel totally normal than other times they'll flare up for a little while and calm down. This is just more flared up than usual.


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## whisperbaby22

When I was young, dressage was considered training for the horse, and any horse could benefit. Dressage now is completely different. There is some sort of weird mindset that thinks only huge warmbloods can do it.


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## Skyseternalangel

whisperbaby22 said:


> There is some sort of weird mindset that thinks only huge warmbloods can do it.


Well that's obviously just ignorance on their part. It _*is*_ training just some judges rate high fancy action above a correctly working horse in tests. However, in the comfort of your own barn, you are going for correctness versus flash. Lateral movements and leg yields help your horse to get his hind leg underneath which is a step towards the horse working properly. <--- Training.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I know what you're talking about. I've met PLENTY of people like that. I've met plenty of girls who have tolerant schoolmasters, ride 3rd-PSG but think they know it all and can ride anything. So they bad mouth all the other riders in a clinic. And I will say they're prettier riders than say myself but they have no where near my skill or ability. They had no where near the skill or expertise of a lot of the riders they were critisizings. To me it's classless and shows how little they really know when they're being so rude. Like I remember my friend who is a trainer was riding her young horse (6yr old trakehner mare) and the girls were just saying how they could ride that horse so much better and I thought I doubt these girls could even get my friends horse on the bit, let alone cooperative enough to tolerate their lack of finesse and arrogance. Those kind of people I'd love to put on Dante, except I think Dante would take forever to recover from the experience. It's one thing if people are soft and aren't skilled but are empathetic and another if they get on a horse and act like the horse is a machine and will do as they say. And honestly I don't care who a rider trains with, what level they've ridden or what they've done, I don't think they'll ever be a great rider if they lack empathy. IMO empathy is what makes great riders and trainers. The barn I'm at is not snobby (they get kicked out) but people at clinics come from various barns. But everyone has way more money than I do and spent a lot more money on their horses but to be honest my horse is much more capable than a quite few of them but he is less ridable and a lot more quirky. A lady who used to show PSG-I1 looked at Dante and she said you know I don't think my horse could go FEI but I think Dante could. He's not super flashy/nice but he is very capable. Like the trainer and I had a discussion about a horse named Comet who I used to ride and Dante. She said up to 2nd level Comet would kick Dante's butt all day long just because he's that nice but because Dante has the ability to collect will go much further than Comet as a dressage horse. The story on Comet actually kills me, I rode him for 6 months before shipping off to Parris Island. I rehabbed him and a trainer with a big ego but a VERY pretty rider, just not that skilled but talks a BIG game basically made him so unridable like bolting and rearing which he NEVER once offered when I rode him, so his owner had to sell him because my trainer when she came back could fix him for herself or someone confident but not his owner.

The people I talked to (trainer I've worked with and his clients) are not that kind of snobby. They reaction is to him being a quarab which is seen as a "backyard" type of horse. The trainer grew up poor on a ranch in Illinois and is one of the top breeders in the country. He won USDF breeder of the year 3x in a row. He's a nice guy, never seen him say anything bad to anyone or about their horses. He's realistic but not degrading. His clients were a little snubby but not bad. He's not a pretty rider but he's super effective. He'll get on a horse that looks like it has no ability and he'll make it look pretty decent.

These are a few videos from todays lesson. Mari (trainer) went very quiet during the videos. He wasn't as good/cooperative today and he wasn't super hot but he was spooky. He spooked at the change of lighting while I was walking him. And lunging oh my goodness he's a special cookie. I was readjusting his saddle and I had to follow him all the way around the arena because he was jumping side ways while I was trying to get the girth back on and that's a 2300 dollar saddle. I had no whip just a lunge line. He just kept jumping side ways so I had the lungeline in one hand, his girth and saddle billets in another :icon_rolleyes: I just looked at him and was like SEE this is why no one likes you. Then you can leave him basically ground tied and he's fine but you can't adjust his saddle. Then I bought some new treats which have red dye in them and while I was lunging I noticed his mouth was red and there was what looked like blood on his wraps. I almost had heard failure like where is the blood, why are you bleeding. Then I realized it was just the treats I'd given him. We're both kinda special but I guess that's what makes it work.

These are pretty short and not a lot. These are more towards the beginning of our ride. I also show these because they're not perfect. It's realistic of what it's like developing a young horse. You'll have awesome moments and moments that leave a lot to be desired and it's not just here I put on an aid - do it. There's a lot that goes into making a dressage horse. Right side is also his tougher side which is why we filmed that side. Left side he went WAY better, way more consistent and through. Right was struggling to get that bend through the rib cage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwrZCKdp1Lk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7G4ugoNYwLc


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## Skyseternalangel

That last photo is precious! He looks like a handsome grump about being all braided up 

I love watching you two ride


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. He always has an opinions. On the ground, undersaddle, he always let's his perspective be known lol. He has been an interesting horse to ride. I've learned a lot from him.

A lot of horses you can just be like leg - half halt and get them up, through forward, a little leg yield steps on a circle. Position, half halt for here up into my rein, soften the jaw - release and it's mostly there. Him it's like please go forward, really you have to give me attitude? Don't hump your back at me, I can put my leg on. Alright you're meeting the contact - this feels great, why are you behind it? Now you're mad at me for asking for a turn on the forehand step? Good news is he's now good with spurs, a few times I got him because he was being a jerk like pushing his ribcage into me rather than responding and he kicked out and had a hissy fit then was like okay I can bend. I kinda feel like it's negotiations with him. Like he's a child well I don't want to, why do I have to do it your way? And then you just tell him and say no this is what you do and he'll have a tantrum or just kick out, hump his back, toss his head or something and then he's like okay I guess I can but I'm going to make sure you know I'm not happy about it. I usually sit more forward when I transition from two point to posting and sometimes he's happier sitting than posting. It just depends, if he's not happy about something he always lets you know and sometimes he just has to get over it and be obedient, it's not the Dante show but you can't make him. If you try to force him or make him, he stops cooperating altogether and just goes into tantrum, hissy fit mode. I don't push him to that because honestly I think it could get really ugly and wouldn't' fix a thing and would just make it worse. I think when he's grown up and more mature he'll be better but this is just how it is now and maybe he'll be better when his EPM is treated because left side he's a lot more ridable or willing to allow the rider to influence him. I think/hope the EPM has a lot to do with it.

Honestly I really love him but I get really frustrated too. Not while on him but reflecting and trying to see what I can do better. I'm just glad I have some really good trainer to advise and help me.


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## whisperbaby22

I think he's coming along nicely. Especially at the trot, he can act up a bit and keep the pace up, I think it is called cadence. 

Take everything I say with a grain of salt. I am only a trail rider, but I do think that I know good riding and good horses when I see it. That is why I was interested in following your story, you ride well.


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## DanteDressageNerd

No I appreciate your input  and thank you. We're doing our best. And you're right on the right side it is harder to keep him consistent. That day it kinda felt like a yo-yo on the right, no problem on the left trying to get him forward but right was a struggle of having enough forward energy to work into the contact to have something to half halt and then I'd get him to sit back and he'd want to lose activity and hump his back up or kick out when I asked him to be forward then towards the end of the ride when he was more cooperative and didn't lose activity we had a few circles with cadence.

Sometimes when I feel less inspired I listen to video of Carl Hester talking about horses he's developed and think if an Olympic rider a million times better, more skilled and experienced has trouble with some youngsters or has some rough days and good day than it's okay that I do too. The videos are of Carl Hester riding young horses.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgmnAAF27aY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBVgyaM--Rc

I guess for me most of the youngsters I've worked with haven't been quite so opinionated and willful as Dante (I joke he takes after me) but sometimes I feel like I did something wrong because he's like this. My trainers (one who is in FL for winter and the one here) have said I've done a really good job with him and not to be so hard on myself because it's not perfect lol. At heart I am a perfectionist, I try not to be for my horse's sake but it's hard not to revert back to. I understand we're two imperfect creatures trying to create some harmony and I know this is normal with youngsters but still frustrating sometimes lol. Some days I can get on and it's almost like a trained horse and his basics are solid and I can play with more 2nd level type work and other days it's like we're just trying to get him to be ridable, obedient and allow a rider to influence him without too much tude. For example the Devon Kane clinic day 1 we got a lot of compliments for how well he was going and good work, etc. I didn't feel I did well but he did well and the 2nd day he was trying to hit me in the face with his head, refusing to go forward, like he tried to kick out at the clinician and threatened to rear. We weren't asking anything crazy or putting pressure on him. Literally just go forward and steer. I later found out he had a rib out but it was odd.

On a bright note Saturday is doing really well. Trotted him today and he was actually really good!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Had a fabulous ride on Dante today. I was not convinced we would because he was high as a kite on a stormy day this morning. On the lunge he just couldn't stand still for me to adjust the reins, I don't get after him but I do correct him but he was so wound up. When I let him out on the lunge he took off like he hadn't been worked in days, legs sprawled everywhere, crossfiring at a gallop. He came in from outside, he had plenty of layers on. I made him stop and pick up his lead but he just zoomed and when he's like that. I'll monitor his balance and make him submit a little bit but I pretty much just let him go as long as he's manageable/listening and not out of control. I had a ground poll set out as well which was helpful. He was very careful, never touched it. Actually hiked his hind feet about a foot off the ground to avoid it.

Every time I see this horse gallop, I just think he'd be the most useless event horse ever. His legs go every where but it doesn't look like he ever goes anywhere. Thank God he's a dressage horse.

Today he was very sensitive about if I looked at him wrong, I barely moved my arm in his stall and he almost through himself into the wall. Lee (FEI judge/clinician) said Dante is internally conflicted. He isn't sure if he's an old man on the couch or a neurotic schizophrenic. Only time will tell which side he chooses but I think I have the answer. I keep telling Dante no one is here to eat baby arabs but he doesn't believe me. He's so sensitive and he's never been mistreated. I know every person who has ever owned him and who handles him. He's just sensitive and dramatic. I think some of his neurotic/nervousness is just being cold. He's from Pennsylvania, it's no where near that cold but he's also very dramatic.

Few videos from today's lesson. These were taken at the end and I'm sorry they're not very long. I'm happy to have any video, so I can't complain. Mari said she didn't get the parts when he was going really well but that's okay like I said better have some video than none at all. I actually think he was better right, left he was kinda running but I'm just so pleased he was SO good today. He was super ridable. I could USE my spurs and actually ride him without a baby tantrum. I felt like I was riding a normal horse!! I was SO proud, I almost cried I was so delighted! His canter transitions were the best they've EVER been both directions like he really lifted up through his wither and stepped into his transition. His canter felt BEAUTIFUL. I wish I had a video of that part but I really felt like I could ride it and influence him without losing his cooperation completely! I could easily move his shoulders, shoulder in was EASY both directions! It was cool because when he really sat back and lifted through his withers and shoulders he felt like a trained horse and he kinda was like wait you want me to sit back? Oh aren't I fancy, oh I'm cool! He definitely has an ego, it cracks me up. It's like when he was a baby and learned lengthenings he would look for every opportunity to lengthen like I'd barely open my seat and he'd be like lengthening! Oh that part is fun! And I'd half halt him and bring him back and he'd feel like he was disappointed and pin his ears like but I wanted to lengthen lol. I did a lot of halt transitions with him to give him pats and cookies. When I ride the halt transition really well (which I usually do well) I usually do a core and leg half halt and tap him behind as he steps into the halt and then pats and cookies and lots of what a good boy. We also worked on beginning walk piroettes. So haunches in between each corner of an imaginary square and then ask him to move his shoulders. left was about perfect, right needs work but I rode it a lot better because our trainer gave me some good tips I had never known before. Like lifting up my left hip, once I did that he almost just went into haunches in off of position. I know haunches in is hard for him because he has a very short back and barrel. Between his hips and 17th rib it's maybe 2 fingers apart which I've been told is good for collection but makes laterals a challenge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJswKAohbwI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdoQo2ZHGhY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul1LoVZZE-0

His mane is getting long. Arab bridle path is still growing out, cant wait until it's a lot longer.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Not a whole lot to update. Mostly been pretty detached and disconnected of late. I was always the person who cared too much, loved too much, did too much and just went above and beyond for everyone and anyone in my life. Needless to say I was a doormat and was treated pretty badly by users and takers who just kept taking and abusing, so I've shut off a lot over the last few years and it's kinda hit a low point where I just feel numb. I have a lot of good people in my life now because I will totally cut out people if they're that toxic. I didn't use to do that but now if they're that awful or treated me that badly, I just want nothing to do with them because it would NEVER occur to me to treat anyone, even a perfect stranger the way some of my "friends" or "exs" have treated me. I really fought for quite a few people or took the heat for them to try to help them out and now I'm just like roast in the fire you built for yourself. I don't want them to burn but I'm not getting burnt in the process.

But Dante has been good. I'm very proud of him. Today we didn't do much. I set out a cavaletti and 2 polls and rode him through that. Didn't ask him to sit or do very much. He never told me off but he felt like he just couldn't do what I asked correctly, so I didn't pressure him and just kept the day super light. Mostly walk, mostly just focused on being through and connected and really lifting up through the withers, so lower frame lots of bending lines. And big loops. Cantered 2 circles each way and got off. He was willing, obedient and happy. That's all I can ask for when he's feeling sore. His neck kinda spasmed which surprised me and I kept it light and relaxing. He's been doing a lot more collected work and we've been upping our expectations so I guess it makes sense. I just feel bad for him. I should have massaged him but I had stuff I needed to do :/ I feel like a bad mom but he got to go outside so at least he'll be moving around and happy. And he loves kisses. He wont' kiss other people but he'll push his nose into my lips so I can kiss it. It's really cute. I love him very much, even if he is my special cookie. I'm just glad he's in my life.

And I threw in a picture of the little colt I affectionately call little sht. He's actually a really good baby. Honestly the best baby we've ever had to handle and work with. Talent wise, very talented and I think he's one that will stay sound. Maybe not as fancy as one of his sister who is a FREAK like nicer than almost anything I saw in Germany but question is will she stay sound? She has so much movement, all 3 gaits are like 9's-10's. He is VERY nice but not his sister, however I'm sure he'll be sound. And Dante's pasture buddy is a 20yr old danish warmblood who used to show 4'9 jumpers. He was unfortunately ruined by someone who killed his confidence over fences by not being able to get her distance and jumping him around 4ft+ courses, so now he's a dressage horse.


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## Dehda01

I will say that many of my Arabs and Arab crosses really don't like being cold and work best with a quarter sheet. One of my mates REALLY LOVES her BOT saddle pad and quarter sheet. It really has made winter workable for her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you for the suggestion. I totally agree most arabs or crosses don't seem too happy when they're cold. However I tried one with him but he wasn't particularly happy with it. I walked him with it on first, no problem. Got on, took a few steps was fine and then he took off and started bucking until I dropped it off. I haven't bothered with one since, it didn't seem worth it to me. But maybe I should try again?

I haven't used a BOT saddle pad, do you notice a difference?


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## Dehda01

I found a huge difference with 3 of my horses. I am sold with BOT products. 

I figure that quarter sheets aren't that different that them being in their blankets, but I do longe them in the first and some horses don't like the tail cords, so you may want to take them off. I have an extensive quarter sheet wardrobe though. It may be an addiction. My favorites are the Rambo and the BOT.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanteDressageNerd

I might have to buy one just to see if I call tell a difference! Once I get an extra 80 bucks to try the saddle pad! Gotta pay off vet bills first. But thank you for the suggestions 

I'm not sure what upset him. I was borrowing a quarter sheet, as I don't own one so it may have been too big and hung too low that upset him. I don't know. He can be pretty weird about some things and sometimes pressing things makes it worse but a quarter sheet shouldn't be a problem.


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## Tihannah

He looks fantastic! I can't wait till me and Tess can look half as good!


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol thank you  we've been working hard. Hopefully we'll have 2 lessons this week with my trainer who is flying up to visit from Florida. Can't wait for her to rip us a new one! No I'll probably just get distracted because we'll be joking and run Dante into the wall and he'll be like Mom what are you doing up there? I trusted you! How could you betray me! And she'll make fun of me for being absent minded and lacking focus. 

I did that in this lesson. It was pretty funny. The people who have known me a long time were like OMG you would get distracted and run your horse into a wall. Poor Dante's a trooper.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxwX7KjlHAE

And you and Tess are really good. I wish I looked so good when I was riding a year or 2! You guys are doing great!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Lunged Dante yesterday because he was sore. Light work is better than none if they're a little sore. He wasn't super forward/motivated. Did not video from the right side because he needs more "assistance" to get the bend and engage his right hind leg. I lunge in draw reins because it allows him to choose his head placement and work over his topline without having anything on his back. Was trying to lunge without lunge whip and have him quite forward to relax his underneck and engage the whole body, plus he needs more help which I can't do on the lungeline to get a better cadence or more collected and eventually develop suspension but still a young horse with a lot more work ahead. He was good but he didn't look super enthusiastic about the work but he LOVED the massage. He seemed really relaxed. I didn't like his posture before the massage but afterwards I saw a big difference in how he carried himself, so that's good. I couldn't get everything but I'm going to need to keep working on him. I was a bad mom and didn't massage him for about a week and I think the saddle isn't fitting him as well anymore :-( maybe remove the pads and play around to see if we can get it right. 

Ignore my voice, it annoys me too. I am getting sick so that may be some of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShX2wC9529I

His withers were quite tight and I think that's why the base of his neck was tight where it ties into the chest. Did more work surprisingly on the left side than the right. I think my saddle is too long for his back. He has a SUPER short back. My friend who is a saddle fitter (she trained in the UK) said she didn't think he had enough space on his back for a 17 1/2in saddle, unless I had the panels customized which I may to do at some point. I'm not getting him a custom for a few years, he might still be growing (he's literally grown over an inch in the last 6 months) and he's still at the beginning stages of his training. He's 1st and will show 1st, developing 2nd so basics. I can't put the saddle more forward or it interferes with shoulder movement and makes a very crabby, irritable, rearing up Dante. He's VERY sensitive about saddle fit and honestly anything with his back, he definitely has an opinion if it isn't quite right. I put a pad literally the thickness of a thin yoga mat on him and he had a big temper tantrum until I removed it. I'm glad he tells us but sometimes it's like really Dante? The vet calls him PrimaDante for a reason. He has spirit and I like that about him. I could do without the attitude but the spirit, opinionatedness, and fesitiness I like. I worry about him when he's not like that. 

Also started classes. I'm the oldest one in almost all my classes. I look at the kids and I start feeling dated. It's odd but as my friend's pointed out I just have more wear and life experience, it should help me. And the military ages you quite a bit, I don't know why other than the amount of responsibility and leadership roles (so much stress) and chewing out people. I still have it. I very rarely had a temper or got after people but when I did, I always had a valid reason. I did pretty well in college last go around I had 3.5 but I ended up adding a year by going from a BA to a BS. I used to be pretty good at literature or art history or more "right brain" type work and now I think because I worked in tech, I feel too left brained. I actually feel confused where as I'll sit in a math or computer programming and be like okay yeah I can do this.


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## whisperbaby22

He is listening, trying and looking. Have you ever tried riding with a bareback pad or treeless, or is he too likely to fuss with those.


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## Tihannah

Actually, May will be a year since I started! I still feel like I'm light years behind though! Lol. No matter. I am enjoying every minute!

He looks great even lunging. You've just done a fantastic job with him!

This is an off question, but do you know what kind of sand that is in your arena? It looks fantastic. Both our covered arena and dressage arena have the equivalent of beach sand in it. :-( Its almost too deep and often gets built up in certain areas and I think its hard for the horses to maintain good footing when they're almost sinking into the ground. I would love to make some sort of recommendation to my trainer/BO, but I don't know what everyone else uses?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you for the suggestion  I've worked with treeless and I hated it. I just didn't like it. I also tried a flexible tree and that was awful like when you sat in the saddle the tree seems fine but the moment you get out of the saddle the tree bounces back and you can feel it doing that and it's just not good, it throws your center of balance off. But bareback I've done quite a lot of with him. I rode him in a bareback pad for about 5 or 6 weeks because I didn't have a saddle I could ride him in. The only hard part with that now is he's a lot more advanced than he was then and we're still developing collection which is REALLY hard bareback because it uses so much core, seat and leg. The saddle I have I had fitted to him by Debbie Witty (amazing woman) and excellent saddle fitter, she flocked his saddle to fit him and it definitely fit him when we had it done but his shape has changed so much. Debbie flocked the saddle to fit his shape, she designed and made the saddles so she knows the trees and designed her saddles to be semi-customized so you can adjust them. Saddles are frustrating. But thank you for the suggestions, I really appreciate it 

Tihannah - Thank you. I've had a lot of help and you're doing amazing!! Not even a year undersaddle and you're doing absolutely amazing!! Light years ahead of where I was a year into riding! Our arena is a mixture of textile and super fine sand to adhere to the textiles. It's awesome stuff!! I love it!! It's pricey though, so I don't know how well she'd go for it :/ but I will say it wears and holds up pretty well!

The last picture is him around the time his saddle was fitted (late Nov) and the 1st one is the most recent just as an example of how much his body has changed. His back angle has changed.


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## Dehda01

There is no such thing as perfect footing. I used to thing GGT textile and sand was, but then my vet showed me a study that felt it was injuring suspensories and was often put in too deep for dressage horses. 

I like a thin sand. I have really liked some of the SUPER sands I have shown in, but never boarded at a place to really test them.


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## Tihannah

The beach sand we currently have is the worst. It much too deep. In the indoor arena, it thins out on the sides along the rails, but if you are riding through the middle of the arena, it's really deep and I'm always worried about how Tess will handle the footing. 

In the outdoor dressage arena, it tends to bulk up around the rails, and then the horses try to avoid it because its so deep. I really wish they would replace it and give us something a little better to ride in.


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## Dehda01

Beach sand is often too washed, sand needs to be angular in order to not roll around as much and it needs to be thin so it is not too deep. Only a few inches is all that is necessary. The deepness is a fairly easy fix...


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## whisperbaby22

Oh I was just suggesting getting on him for a few minutes to see if it was the saddle that was making him sore. I understand about needing a saddle for the kind of riding you are doing. I have an old cashel soft saddle that I use on the rare times I ride here at the house, and it is just one of the best saddles ever made for short rides.


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## DanteDressageNerd

No thank you. I appreciate suggestions  I wasn't sure what a cashel soft saddle was so I looked it up, it's kind of like a bareback pad. It looks like something fun to ride in!

I ended up riding him bareback today because I don't have a ton of time and wanted to see if it'd help him to go bareback. He was actually REALLY good, super forward. Kinda felt like riding a german auction horse, so I rode him really up and mostly just tried to convince him to let me ride him, let me influence you. I can still two point bareback which was kinda a neat surprise I did that a little because I couldn't lunge him (lesson going on), so I did two point and was kinda pleased with myself lol. We did mostly basics, quite a lot of transitions, really focusing on quality of transitions, quality leg yield, and having correct reactions and bend. Bend was a big one, especially left. It's usually right but right was no problem left I had to really get him with my leg at the shoulder and really organize to get bend and get him to step under and connect to the outside rein and release his underneck muscle. Lots of half halting and core strength and organization. I will say he made me work my butt off today, I was like oh dang I couldn't be a half second late in my timing. It was fun! I felt like there were a lot of good parts and things to improve on. I wish I would have let him out more in the neck but I honestly didn't feel super safe doing that with how he was. He was spooky and hot. But he was awesome!! He really felt like he pushed into the bridle which has been really hard to get with him, he didn't lean but he felt the most in my hand he ever has. I had something to half halt, so I felt like I got some really good movement (whether I really did is another story) but it felt like he had some awesome moments. I had to catch my breath a few times and laughed about how out of shape I am. I admit he's fairly bouncy and throws the rider around quite a bit in canter but I'm exhausted lol. I was like and I used to run 7-8 miles no problem, 20-25miles a week and this is what I've become? I have no problem pushing past tasting blood but when my muscles stop reacting properly I'm like well maybe we should take a breather. I gave him a little massage today and that definitely helped. I'm trying to figure out what is going on with his left side, my guess is he might have done something in pasture and through something out somewhere or the saddle was tight and pinched his withers. I don't know because it's the base of his chest and under neck where it ties into his shoulder. Right is loose and good, left is tight. Left wither is also tight. Cannot afford chiropractor at the moment. But he wanted kisses today, he puts his nose into my face for kisses and pushes his nose into your lips for you to keep kissing his nose. He loves it, it's pretty cute and head scratches and tapping the sides of his mouth with fingers tips. His lips quiver and his whole neck spasms lol. It's pretty cute. He is adorable sometimes.

I'm not used to all this running around lol. I definitely don't have the freedom I did lol and I already know this semester is going to be rough. I was looking at my computer programming course and mathematics and was like aww sht lol. I've done this before, I didn't get much rest and couldn't take "me" time so to speak but if it were easy everyone would do it. Must work on my attention span 

But on the textile I really like it. I feel like the horses are very comfortable and feel free or lofty on it. I agree there is no such thing as perfect footing but I really like it. I feel a difference even with just me running on it which I do sometimes.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Well I did not ride Dante today, just lunged because he threw a shoe and I gave him a bath because I wasn't going to work him but one of the guys pulled his shoe so I lunged. But this was probably his first full bath since November (tail and mane still get washed regularly). He was good. I didn't like his posture, something isn't 100% to me about his back (he has clean xrays) just something now right. I have a lesson with my trainer who is coming up from FL for a few days tomorrow and Sunday but I can't put my finger on it. He also tried to kick me when I had him do belly lift exercises but he lunged fine and used his hind end very well. I just don't know but I'll try to ride him and if he's a total jerk I'll know something is wrong. He ALWAYS tells me if something is bother him. Sometimes he's just dramatic and opinionated about nothing, other times he's just not happy about something.

Also had a nice conversation with one of the girl's moms who I really like. She's practical, very smart, and fun. I love eccentric people who just tell it how it is, she was pretty blunt first time I met her and I was like oh we're going to get along great! But talked a lot about horses and teens and education. We mostly talked about how with teens you can't really explain to them that they don't need or want an upper level horse. They're more like well what do you mean I don't need an upper level horse, what do you mean I won't be riding PSG next year? She's a good, very talented rider and VERY sweet/kind hearted but she wouldn't be ready for a upper level type. We also discussed how teens don't really get how demanding and time consuming college is and you can't explain it. It isn't high school where you can kinda breeze through, it requires intensive study especially if you pick a tough major. TONS of memorization, analysis, etc you can't really bluff through a lot of them. 

First week of back to college is over and I'm already geared it's going to be rough. Mostly the computer programming course, that is going to be tough. I'm a SUPER concrete learner like I have NO creativity until I really start understanding things. But that will likely take up 30+hrs a week on top of everything else. Yay programming. I'll probably hate it for a while lol. 

Sat in my literary class and I had to try to explain the significance of a rock being thrown into a forest and how that alludes to Mesopotamian culture and life. I'm so left brained I'm like it's a rock, it doesn't matter? I just feel WAY too left brained for the class, I'll read the material but it just doesn't mean much to me and diving into text I'm horrible but I'm like I just don't care. I KNOW it's important because I need it for brain training and it's my last english class EVER (I hope) but not my thing. When I'm doing homework I'm like YAY lets do the math, something that makes sense and doesn't sound like gobbily **** nonsense. I haven't been in college for a few years. I took courses in the Marines and tech school but I'm having to re-learn how to be a student and how to study and prepare for this. It's REALLY hard to go back.


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## Tazzie

He just has the sweetest face!

I hope he's ok and just giving you sass! Though, throwing shoes can also be a sign of a horse needing a chiropractor appointment (told to me by the best farrier I ever had). I'm glad he lunged well though!

And good luck with school! I was SO happy to graduate and be done with college. My job is pretty demanding sometimes on my brain where I just come home and want to melt/do nothing. Hopefully that is your last English class ever!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. He doesn't always wear his sweet face, I think it's for the camera but he can definitely be sweet. I think he's kinda a jerk to be honest when people at the barn tell me the things he does and how he is towards other people but he's USUALLY sweet to me. Though he has purposefully kicked me twice. I want to think it's the EPM but I don't know. EPM can mess with their heads and I still need to buy treatment but it's $800 and I just got done paying off $1000+ in vet bills. He tested low on it but I was told because of what he does, even a low positive can have an effect.

I believe you with chiropractor. They make an incredible difference but we just had the snow thaw so the ground is fairly muddy and he's close to being due. But I'm keeping him barefoot until show season (some barn's footing isn't very good and the flies make them stomp a lot) so I don't want him tearing up his hooves. 

But thank you. I hope so too! I'm actually quite good at writing analytical essays but lousy at interpreting literature. I think we're all meant to be challenged and a job should be demanding sometimes, even though it forms serious brain hurt! I understand mental work is more taxing IMO than physical work! 

Today was interesting.

I'll say I'm physically in a LOT of pain from my lesson today. Dante was great going left and right he literally threw his weight around SO much my body is super sore. My trainer had me position differently and ride differently and he was ticked because his evasions right weren't working, so he tried absolutely everything he could think of. He twisted his back and bucked several times, some were kinda nasty like turning his entire hind end in, twisting and throwing a tantrum because we weren't playing by Dante's rules. He was very angry, eventually he got over it and accepted well this is how it is but he had a pretty ugly tantrum today. My lower back is just not coping well lol. It's pathetic, I know but degenerative disks and tendinitis are not a joke! A few weeks ago had I done that I think he'd have just shut off and been like nope I'm done, you can't make me F you!! I could only imagine the fowl language he would use if he were a person. We didn't fight him or wrestle with him, it was just getting me to use my body more effectively, engage my core and upper body better, and changing my position and not let him wiggle out of contact. He fought in his body quite a lot but eventually he engaged his whole body and became obedient once he realized it was easier just to do as we asked. He's definitely my kid. He has an attitude, opinion and fights with everything he has. My trainer said he's definitely my kid and I agree. He's a Mama's boy.

Other than that I got a new phone, so I'm still figuring that out. About time I updated and had some interesting discussions with several people at the barn today. There are some very good and interesting people at the barn and I think I helped someone today.


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## Skyseternalangel

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Today was interesting.
> 
> I'll say I'm physically in a LOT of pain from my lesson today. Dante was great going left and right he literally threw his weight around SO much my body is super sore. My trainer had me position differently and ride differently and he was ticked because his evasions right weren't working, so he tried absolutely everything he could think of. He twisted his back and bucked several times, some were kinda nasty like turning his entire hind end in, twisting and throwing a tantrum because we weren't playing by Dante's rules. He was very angry, eventually he got over it and accepted well this is how it is but he had a pretty ugly tantrum today. My lower back is just not coping well lol. It's pathetic, I know but degenerative disks and tendinitis are not a joke! A few weeks ago had I done that I think he'd have just shut off and been like nope I'm done, you can't make me F you!! I could only imagine the fowl language he would use if he were a person. We didn't fight him or wrestle with him, it was just getting me to use my body more effectively, engage my core and upper body better, and changing my position and not let him wiggle out of contact. He fought in his body quite a lot but eventually he engaged his whole body and became obedient once he realized it was easier just to do as we asked. He's definitely my kid. He has an attitude, opinion and fights with everything he has. My trainer said he's definitely my kid and I agree. He's a Mama's boy.
> 
> Other than that I got a new phone, so I'm still figuring that out. About time I updated and had some interesting discussions with several people at the barn today. There are some very good and interesting people at the barn and I think I helped someone today.


Good job Cassie! It's not fun dealing with an angry/frustrated horse throwing a cry-baby tantrum but you did it!!

We had a similar ride though!!!! Sky was angry and tried to throw some bucks and mini rears in. When he realized I wasn't scared, he stopped and actually was bending and had some FAB through moments!!!

So rewarding for both of us !!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

We've had a lot of issues to overcome and I never try to "fight him" because I'll lose but I let him resist himself. If I had done this a few weeks ago it would have been a disaster and an unproductive mess but his mental state is better, so we can work together and work through these issues which is a BIG step! I remember last year he was quite the horse to teach. I bought him broke like he hadn't been ridden for a month when he showed up and he forgot how to steer, stop, but he kinda knew how to go forward. Teaching him halt was probably the only time I was scared on him because I remember I had a fairly loose rein and kinda planted my knuckles into his wither because he had a rearing issue. That was his evasion of choice for awhile. Learning how to leg yield, moving side ways was too much for baby brain. He did on the ground but under saddle it was like YOU WONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO! Halt or anything that was coordination or single focus was challenging. But I remember he went straight on his hind legs like straight up and danced around in a circle on his back legs. He was not okay with contact what so ever, I remember lunging him in side reins to help him get over it and he went straight up, started backing up and almost fell backwards. The only reason he didn't was because he backed up into a jump and it made him come down on his front end. After that he never went up so high again and he hasn't truly reared since July. He was SUPER baby, total baby brain for awhile. Probably around September or October he started seeming more mature. I love him. I really love him and sometimes it amazes me how far we've come in a year. Last year he was literally learning to steer and this year he's solid 1st, developing 2nd level. The 1st video I have after owning him vs now you wouldn't even recognize it as the same horse except for color. My friends looked at me and said Cass had you been here with us, we would have had an intervention. You have a problem and I was like nah he was just a baby. Babies have to test their limits, especially if they're smart, opinionated and willful. He's getting better and more ridable all the time. I'm convinced he'll be an awesome schoolmaster someday, we have a pintabian that's doing GP in my area and scoring in the 60s which I think is awesome, so maybe Dante and I will get there too!

But here's the video from yesterday. It took forever to download and then flip it so it faced the right direction. It's funny how when you watch the video it feels SO much better than it looks lol. I wouldn't say we "looked our best" or he's moving the best best he ever has but it felt like because of this lesson we're going to develop WAY better movement. This lesson was about getting me to use my back/shoulders and core more effectively and learned some new ways to half halt and how to use them. He wasn't throwing side to side this way very much but right is why my sides are so sore. I wanted some right side video but you can't always get what you want lol and I'm happy to have any. I always like it because then I can really see what they're seeing and recognize what I'm doing wrong and feeling, so I can be more effective. Right my leg wanted to come back too far so I had to push my right leg forward towards his shoulder to help his balance. That was interesting. Literally he'd start tossing himself around side to side going right and I just had to lock my elbows into my waist or onto the saddle and let him wrestle himself until he realized that's what he has to work with. We're not changing our expectations because he doesn't like it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq8-9Wz7lNs

But I'm glad you and Sky had such a productive ride. Sometimes you have to let it get ugly for a little bit to get to the breakthrough. I think it's a lot like us we have to pound our head against a desk until the material finally clicks and we get it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Update for today. Was going to post videos from today but the first one hasn't even uploaded yet and it needs to be flipped around, so Dante doesn't look like he has spider legs crawling on the ceiling lol. I watched the video backwards and was so amused by how awkward it was. My only explanation is I have ADHD and was very amused.

Ride was interesting, very productive. Dante DID NOT want to participate but he is discovering that he is not a baby anymore and this is not negotiable. He was SO mad. It was a TOUGH lesson, I can't believe how out of shape I am. My core was on fire, it burned but I was like we got this. We worked a lot on straightness and a bit on collection but mostly him not being so presumptive and respecting my outside aids. He had a big attitude I put my outside leg and positioned and he just said F you and learned more into it and so we turned him off the outside aids and were like nope you gotta listen and he did. So we got quite a bit of good work together. It was a LOT to organize. Oh my goodness the expectations went way up lol. We worked a bit on collection as well, Dante was like omg I have to collect and go slow or fast based on how you ask? This is so unfair! I had a hard time keeping focus today, ADHD was kicking in and probably starting a manic cycle too so I feel awesome, everything and everybody is awesome, the stars are bright, unicorns are real, rainbows last forever, and if we work hard enough dreams really do come true!! (I'm really sarcastic and have a smart mouth in real life but in a funny way, not obnoxious way but kinda how I feel too lol) But we had a good ride but focus is a major weakness of mine lol. Dante is quite the diva. It's become his new nickname PrimaDante and Diva but they're terms of endearment. I love him as is. It all comes in one package, he's my kid. It always makes me laugh because I look at pics and think I look so young then I look at pictures from a few years ago and think wow I look so different. I've also lost a good 12-13lbs since I was a kid but he makes faces with me, so it's fun to take pictures together. Expressive boy in his tiara.

He was quite grumpy today. Not a happy camper but life does not go according to Dante's or my rules. Life is not fair.


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## Tazzie

Look at that handsome grumpy gus! I love the under saddle pictures! You guys are looking great 

I love following along since you and I have similar rides it seems, though you are ahead of us training wise (we are just working on First now). And I can't wait to see the video! I love hearing your instructor coach you and be like "yes! I see it too!" Kind of fun!


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol he doesnt want the grumpy to seem cute, he's like I am fierce and unhappy and want you to make sure you know. I am not okay with the situation, it isn't what I wanted. I WANT my lawyer! :lol:

Both videos have a lot of good information and she's an INCREDIBLE trainer/coach. She is down in Fl for winter with Devon Kane who is an international GP rider and trains under Hubertus Schmidt. They unfortunately don't have videos that do Devon Kane justice as a rider though. I saw videos of her riding from my trainer vs what they have on youtube and not even close. But Devon is REALLY nice, very soft spoken and well meaning. She actually said she doesn't post a lot of videos on youtube because of all the rudeness in comments that are unnecessary. She develops a lot of babies and youngsters and most people have never ridden or seen a temperamental or difficult horse or don't understand when training it's not "perfect" and 100% correct every moment of every ride, so it makes sense to me. It annoys me too when you see a horse clearly being well ridden/trained and people are like but it's behind the vertical OMG rolkur, horse abuse and you're just kinda perplexed like...no comment forget the horse is hot or young, just had a major spook and is now going relaxed, happy and round or there is tension because the horse is SO strong or hot and young and the rider is doing an AMAZING job of keeping the horse from spooking, galloping off or overtaking the ride. I haven't met Hubertus Schmidt, I've always wanted to. I've kinda idolized him since I started dressage, him and Carl Hester but I heard he's REALLY nice and down to earth. 

The first one is the second part and the second video is the first part. A lot of it is just work on straightness, throughness, truly accepting and listening to my aids. Developing collective work. We didn't canter because he started getting foot sore (shoes just taken off) and didn't want to push it. He was very good, even though he DID NOT want to do this today. We had quite a few discussions in the beginning but I don't think that was videoed. He's learning he's not a baby horse anymore and we actually expect more from him and he's a big boy and can handle it lol. His disobedience in the 2nd video is from him knowing what we're asking and doing the opposite, he wasn't as rowdy as yesterday. He was much more compliant. Towards the end is the best part but it should be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6Ohj4gSlic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui6csSiXHiE

And I think so. I think we have pretty similar horses. You also do more than just dressage with her. Stock horse x arabs the joy lol. The loveable, opinionated, sensitive and intelligent goofs! Haha I'm glad there is another stock horse x arabian going in dressage  I just think it's super cool to see something "unusual" in the dressage arena. There is a pintabian in the region that is competing at the GP level which is pretty cool. When I saw him I thought he was just a paint but apparently he's a half arabian and came up through the arabian circuit.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Only lunged him today because he was a little sore from the last 2 days and wanted him to stretch and work very lightly (no weight on back). Always better when pretty sore to do a little something than nothing. And nothing excessive. Tomorrow he'll have the day off to rest up and such. But he's been bullying his poor pasture mate :-| which doesn't make me happy, one it's not fair to poor Tigger and he'll lose his pasture mate if he doesn't quit being such a jerk. I want to buy the EPM meds now and hopefully it will go away but still 800 dollars and just got done paying quite a bit. 

Also lunged the horse we're working on breaking that is taking FOREVER to break because he is a VERY special cookie and we aren't able to work him every day, so it's been hard trying to work with both of our schedules. Me and my friend who is a trainer, we're both breaking him. I said I couldn't wait for show season so she could kick my butt but she's in the open division and I'm an amateur. 

Pictures. I lost my position in some of them, my core was on fire but he looked good. Some of Bailey who was a horse I rode for a while. He taught me SO much. I love that horse. He's a little foundation qh who is just an awesome school master type. SO honest, doesn't do anything more or less than what you ask, always fair. He ran me into the wall a few times while I figured out steering off position lol. Then 3 years ago? I schooled him 2nd-3rd in a clinic and that was pretty cool. I hadn't ridden him in forever. I rode him probably 2 months ago and we had fun. Such a cool little horse. We've always gotten a long really well.

And Dante muscle shots. He looks so downhill in these. He is downhill but some shots he looks level and others he looks quite downhill but his shoes are off too. Maybe that makes a difference? I don't know. It doesn't really matter, he can sit it just takes longer to develop.

Other than that it's been a really good day. Weather was nice. Classes went well. Math is probably my favorite class atm. I still dread world literature, it's just not my thing. I'm very left brained :/ Figuring out computer programming and human bio isn't bad. I was actually quite happy today kinda have to be careful with myself when I'm like this.


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## Tihannah

You guys look great! I love watching your trot work. He steps look so light and easy! It almost looks like he's prancing around the ring! Lol. Tessa has a nice walk, but it takes a lot for me to get her trots up to a nice pace like that. She'd rather just take those short, slow, bumpy strides. During our clinic, I was finally able to learn the proper paces for her at both gaits to get her moving correctly. The work behind what looks like simple circles on camera is amazing! Lol.


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## tinyliny

I haven't read every word. sorry. but the video with the gray horse also in teh arena, such good work! your instructor is very perceptive.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you both. We've worked very hard and worked through quite a lot. Still a long road ahead but I'm pretty confident in where we're going. I'm not offended if people don't read, I write a lot and my grammar isn't stellar. 

And yes she is a phenomenal coach and trainer. She's also an incredible rider. She owns the barn I'm at, she's the trainer I was a working student and groom for for almost 2 years. She originally trained in the UK for eventing and schooled through advanced. And then in the States she switched to dressage after she broke her back and for the last 3 years has gone down to Florida through winter to train and show down there. The information she comes back with is AMAZING. She's helped us out SO much. Dante's been very tricky to ride and train and he's not really built for this. 

I'm very glad the clinic went so well with Tessa  and yes there is A LOT of work that goes behind even a simple circle. I think the basics sometimes are the MOST difficult depending on how detailed you are with it. But as you build into various movements, a lot of the times those movements are almost "easy" as you're teaching them when the details of the basics are there. And all the details in the movements are just built on basics. It's hard, the more you learn and are aware your like omg there is SO much. It's fun though!

And I love videos. They're very helpful and you see and instantly become aware of what they're seeing, it's just a good tool to improve. 3 videos form the weekend. I like 2nd day just because you see it more obviously the issues we're working through and he really didn't want to do it that day, so it took more riding but he was really good considering how much he didn't want to do it. He honestly felt like he was giving me the finger half of the ride, like I don't want to be straight. I don't want to carry myself. I'm going to invert my neck and avoid being through, I'm going to throw my weight into your aids lol. To me it's kinda cute and I'd always prefer a horse like that over a horse who shuts down. He just always has an opinion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq8-9Wz7lNs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6Ohj4gSlic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui6csSiXHiE


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## Tazzie

I need to watch all these videos when I get home! My stupid headphones broke here at work, and I keep forgetting to grab another pair! It'll be interesting to see how you ride through when he's giving you the finger since I know that feeling all too well!


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## CinnaDex

I really enjoy your thread and your posts, I always learn so much!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you  I try to share what I've learned. It's been a long journey and there have been many people and horses along the way who taught me a lot of really good lessons. I think a lot of riding is making mistakes and learning how to make better better ones if that makes sense lol. I used to read books to learn what I could but found theory can be interesting or give ideas. It's a good supplement but the best way to learn is actually doing it, getting on a variety of horses, having GOOD instruction, riding on your own and practicing. It's like in your head you can imagine throwing a 1000 pitches all day long but in reality perhaps you can only throw 10 because you never practice and only think about doing it. And taking risks, making mistakes, trying things and figuring out those little details in you that affect them positive or negative and feeling, always can improve feel, timing and technique. None of us or our horses are perfect but we do our best and just keep trying.

I also like sharing our journey because Dante is a tricky ride. He is not straight forward, he is difficult to get to use his body correctly a lot of bring his shoulders in, counter flexion, etc because he wants to swan neck and avoid coming over his back. He's not easy to organize and he has a fun but frustrating personality. He's a perfect fit for me though and has taught me a lot. I'm excited for our future and seeing how he develops because last year this time he was literally just learning to leg yield and steer off the outside aids. He'd forgotten a lot as he hadn't been ridden in a month when I got him. I don't think I was even cantering him yet. And now he's developing 2nd level and I think that's cool. Plus he's the first horse I've had in a while that was really mine. I used to ride 3-5 horses a day but a few were rehab or babies and the rides were often taken off me when they got going 2nd level. The horse that no one took the ride from me rode like a cat lol his name was Sporty. Even as a 17yr old he was special. Some days we didn't have steering and other days we could school 3rd lol. I rode him for 2 years and we still have a tight bond. So special, could two point or sit, sometimes he'd allow posting but he'd literally swing his head left to right sometimes. My hands would be still and soft and he'd just special or he'd randomly be totally not okay with a certain rock and you just couldn't work with him on that. Lol he was an event horse from the UK, schooled advanced level. He was the most difficult, frustrating horse I have ever ridden but he also taught me the most. My old eventer was just missing screws, he was nuts (he passed 3 or 4yrs ago). My trainer brought him up in a lesson over the weekend and everyone was talking about that one show I got disqualified from almost every ride on him (really killed my confidence) and my trainer rode him and he cantered with his butt at centerline and head at the rail lol. He was not right in the head at all but awesome cross country horse. 17h sporthorse bred tb, I still think he'd have done a ** star easily with the right person. Lol I guess I'm feeling nostalgic, there have been a lot of horses in my life but I've only owned 2. I had too many to ride and not enough money to own for a while and didn't buy until I knew I could provide for and afford the medical, etc. I also was in the Marines for a few years so I didn't ride for a long while. And didn't buy until they told me I wasn't going to deploy or go anywhere because of my injuries. I thought I was invincible, nope. It's a lie lol.

I bought Dante because he was by far the most talented horse in my budget. I got a really good deal. He was barely broke. I looked at a bunch of OTTBs but they didn't have anywhere near the ability or brain power of Dante. They were WAY simpler and more straightforward to ride, even green as grass but they weren't going to go upper level and I felt an instant bond or connection with Dante, I didn't feel with the others. And Dante's perfect for me, he pushes me and makes me better. No matter how frustrated I've been along the way. He's my kid and in a lot of ways he's a lot like me and maybe I deserved to have it tossed back at me lol. I had such a smart mouth lol like here you are you stubborn a.. Be humbled, you're too proud lol.


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## tinyliny

Dante,

If you can, would you use more paragraph breaks, please? A huge block if text is "daunting" to read.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I can understand the text being "daunting" I tend to write a lot because I'm a very literal person and try to be thorough over brief. The last one I posted on my phone so breaking it up would be more difficult, as I can't see the whole screen and all of the text that has been written and where it differentiates to rate a new paragraph.

It was more mood and what I was thinking about horse related. I think the journals are structured to that person's personality and mentality. They're personal. I'm kinda chaotic but fairly heavy left brain type. Also known for being eccentric but people like me that way. I provide countless memories. My trainer actually has a notepad of things I've said she found hilarious. I don't remember a lot of them, they were in the moment. I don't always have a filter and the words come running out before I even realized they escaped.


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## tinyliny

you can always go back into the thread and do some editting, after posting the bulk of the text. you can edit your own posts for up to 10 minutes, then they 'lock'.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Unfortunately I don't always have time in 10 minutes to go from cell phone to actual desktop or laptop at school. 

But I wanted to share some pictures I took today with Sporty, the CatHorse lol. My camera takes weird people pictures, so I look weird...well I am weird but Sporty looks good and that is all that matters lol. He is half dutch warmblood and half irish sport horse so he's approximately 5-6/8's thoroughbred. Sire was at least half and mom was 7/8's bred. He's 16.3h and honestly he was my absolute best friend for awhile. He's still my buddy, I think he'd crawl onto my lap if I'd let him. He's a very special horse to me and in general. He'd be mentally institutionalized as a mad genius if he were a person. Smartest horse I have ever known. He schooled through advanced level eventing in the UK.

The bay is my old thoroughbred event horse Kahlua. He was a solid 17h 1350lbs. He was a nut and a half. Taught me a lot. Learned a lot about falling.

And Dante found a new toy to play with that is probably older than he is after our bareback ride. I felt too lazy to put on a saddle lol. But with all the stuff Pam taught me I really can't do that bareback. It was a good ride, we had good moments. I just learned I'm not SuperGirl and can't ride like that bareback lol. I hand moments but when he'd throw a fit or throwing his weight around there is nothing to help me out and get him straight. I can ride through but not with the same results.

I am also procrastinating big time with my computer science homework. It is really hard lol and my brain is not focused.


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## whisperbaby22

I have no problem with the structure. I read this journal first because I was impressed that the rider could actually ride, and chose an unconventional horse. I follow because the writer has interesting things to say. And in no way am I a dressage rider. I kind of skim over some of the more technical aspects. But I like to think I know good riding and good horses when I see them.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you very much whisperbaby22

It's taken me a long time to learn how to take compliments but sincerely thank you 

I'm from a German family, compliments are rare so I actually didn't know how to respond to compliments until my 20's lol. Literally I asked my father after I graduated from Parris Island (Marine Corps bootcamp) if he was proud of me and he said well I just expected this from you. He said you could find the cure for cancer and my answer would be the same, I just expected it. He also hadn't seen me for over 3 months and just shook my hand very business like and formal and said well done Marine lol. I think it's funny, the girls in my platoon thought it was odd. My best friend was from Guam and was like I can't believe there was no hugging or intimacy, where is the love? And I replied German parents show love by supporting and being there for you, for providing you with an education, raising you and guiding you through life. Life advice is like them saying I love you.


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## Skyseternalangel

Whisper is right! You can seriously ride.

I look up to you  I have so much more to go until I'm proficient. I aspire to be as good as you some day

You likely won't be proud of me during this last ride video lol... it got ugly.


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## Tazzie

Awww, Sporty looks like a doll!! And your event horse was handsome!

Love that Dante found something new to play with! I hear ya on the lazy part and just hopping on bareback, though I know it can make a not super productive ride. Glad you were still able to work through his tantrums even if they weren't the best you could have done. You still got through them


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you kindly  I'm still not good at taking compliments. I appreciate them but I'm not good at responding, so my apologies lol. 

Sporty is my pal. He and I have known each other for 8 years. Hard to believe he's 20 now. He was my trainer's old eventer she moved with her from the Uk because she loved him and because he's a like a cat to ride (literally) I've never ridden or known another horse like him and I hope I never do again but she brought him over because she felt he'd just get put down in the UK. Talent is meaningless if a horse is unridable and people don't keep horses as pets. He was retired until my trainer gave me an offer to ride him and so I did. He hadn't been ridden in 5 years when I started riding him. I was offered to ride him again but I don't have the money to maintain him. I'd just pay for back shoes, adequan, and joint supplement but I also don't have time and I love him but I can't even begin to describe how frustrating it is to get on a horse the day before you were doing gorgeous canter half pass and changes to I really can't steer, he's 17 years old and I can't steer lol and warning people he'll kick their horse if they don't give us space. He's basically a cat in a horse's body.

And thank you. Kahlua was definitely handsome, he was a really nice mover as well. He wasn't dumb but he didn't have the brain for dressage, he hated it, was SUPER neurotic about dressage. Cross country or stadium he was very confident, bold, and strong but dressage he was just not confident and go frustrated and when he'd get frustrated, it wasn't like Dante who will protest, throw a tantrum but work it out he'd just lose it and take off to where you had to drop the reins because if you pressured him to stop, one rein stop, at wall, anything he'd just take the bit between his teeth and bolt. He could gallop with his head to the side of his chest, he didn't care. He was missing screws and every ride was like riding a super dull to super crazy hot horse. I got bolted off with at a recognized dressage show with him and the judge was screaming at me to stop him and I remember thinking you stupid cow, if I take hold of this horses face he's just going to bolt down the highway. I'm doing good I have F-ing steering. He was just awful. He was awesome in the warm up, then I got to the ring he was awful. I think that was 7yrs ago? But I'll say when his new owner turned him back into an eventer he was a much happier, better horse.

And yes Dante ALWAYS finds toys. After he had that toy I was doing his feet and he literally knocked down everything off the walls and had a muck bucket in his mouth hitting it on the wall. Literally all I did was move to his back foot and everything was down and he turned to look at me like aren't I innocent and cute? I would never cause trouble.

I've been enjoying being back in school. It really helps me to have something constantly entertaining my mind or I tend to get a little detached and too in my head. I've also been doing quite a bit of research on aspergers.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Kinda an interesting day.

Dante was FABULOUS in our lesson tonight!! He was so wonderful on the ground and so sweet and loving. It may be because I was pretty elated to see him. He's my baby and I love him so much. He literally keeps me sane, well functionally sane. But he was so good, so light off the aids, so responsive and SO willing! He was like okay what next? It was incredible. He even half halted and really used himself like a mature horse. He's really come into his own these last few rides and is growing up, I was beaming I was so proud of him. He was like yes mam. He did kick out a few times right lead canter and we had discussion but other than that I only put leg on once for go and then leg and half halt for sit and to create the movement, suppleness, balance, etc but he was good. I had crookedness issues lol looks like I'm going to the chiropractor one of these days. Right was much harder for me but it was neat all our faults today were my fault and not him, so that made me really happy because we're moving in the right direction and I finally have a horse I can really work and build with. We didn't do anything super complicated, just basics and more work on straightness. His canter felt AMAZING!! Transitions were the best they've ever been and he felt the most up, consistently rhythmical and felt truly engaged. Dare I say he's feeling more trained?

Me stuff. I'm sharing this portion because honestly humanity and the humanities are about sharing the human experience and I tend to view things as fully dimensional. And you never know if some words might help someone, even if they never tell you or anything, you never know what might help someone.

I won't give a huge backstory but I will say I was extremely angry earlier today and lost it, not on anyone. I never take out my frustration on animals or people (I have before but I've had a lot of practice to learn to manage), the worst I'll do now is snap at someone or chew someone out if they did something way out of line but reflecting on my life and some of the things people have done. I was so livid. I tend to be the person who will put others before myself, I've always been like that and I won't go into it but basically I need to learn to love myself because that's why I'm targeted. Some people are predators and they look for prey. They don't target the weak, they target the vulnerable who are receptive and don't see them coming. And the other thing is realizing in myself I deserve to be happy. I always felt guilty for being happy, like it was a luxury I didn't deserve but now I'm starting to realize it's okay. Happiness is something obtainable and I am worthy of it. Which may sound ridiculous to some people but sometimes I wonder if people were really honest with themselves what they might find out about themselves. I think some people get so good at wearing masks they don't even know what's true of themselves or not. And that may sound crazy to some people but it's not irrational. 

I am a natural blonde. My hair is very light, I have colored it platinum and put blue and purple and things like that in it to change things up. I've also tried dying my hair brown and it was AWFUL. But Dante gave me a head massage, he was SO cuddly and sweet. We cuddled for a little bit, I just petted his head and he kinda dozed off. Last picture is a trot picture of Sporty from a few years ago when he was fit. He's not a fancy mover, moves like an eventer but sometimes I miss riding him lol. And Dante took my whip and hit me with it, not hard just bumped me with it as he was swinging it around. He always needs something to play with, I took the reins out of his mouth I don't know how many times or grabbing my coat. He's very careful to grab the coat and not me but I've walked him with my coat in his mouth. He's a good boy and he's doing it to be cute.


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## Tihannah

Super cute pics!! I LOVE the one that looks like he's grinning. He seems to really love you. I love what you've done and continue to do with this horse. You both inspire me to continue working hard at it and trying to get better!

On the happiness thing... I totally get it. I told you about my ex. I spent 10 miserable years with this man in a state of constant stress, anxiety, and depression. I was on sleep meds for 6 years just to rest my mind. It was exactly one year after I left that I was finally able to sleep again. I decided that I didn't need anyone or anything to make me happy. I found myself and started enjoying life again. It was only when I became completely happy with myself that everything else began to fall into place. I met a wonderful man whom I've been with 2 years now and still cooks dinner for me almost every night, so I can have time to ride after work. I have a better relationship with my kids and we've never been closer. I'm FINALLY back to my passion, which is riding, and it just overwhelms me with joy.

It takes time to find yourself in that place, but you just have to let everything else go. Do what you love, what you enjoy, and don't let anyone else influence who you are. ;-)


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## whisperbaby22

Good advice, but take it from an old lady, I myself do not berate myself for not being perfect. I do allow myself to get mad, (depressed, anxious) whatever, but for me now, only for a few minutes. After all, we are human and need to get that stuff out sometimes. And I totally get the feeling guilty thing. This is something that I deal with daily, it was very hard for me to quit work and retire and I go through my day constantly thinking "I must do this, I must do that." I have a house and what I refer to as my "ranch" besides my animals etc. to take care of and I am always thinking I am not getting enough done. Even though everything is paid for, so what am I running around all day for? I do it because we are complex beings, we have our ways. So being 95% perfect is just fine.


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## Skyseternalangel

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Some people are predators and they look for prey. They don't target the weak, they target the vulnerable who are receptive and don't see them coming. And the other thing is realizing in myself I deserve to be happy. I always felt guilty for being happy, like it was a luxury I didn't deserve but now I'm starting to realize it's okay. Happiness is something obtainable and I am worthy of it. Which may sound ridiculous to some people but sometimes I wonder if people were really honest with themselves what they might find out about themselves. I think some people get so good at wearing masks they don't even know what's true of themselves or not. And that may sound crazy to some people but it's not irrational.


This is pure unedited truth. 

I'm happy that you are working towards allowing yourself to be happy, and love yourself. 

It's so easy to wear masks without even realizing it. I do it all the time just to save face and appear like I have everything together, when in reality I spend evenings curled up in a ball in my room crying because I don't have a clue who I am or why I do what I do. I place the blame hard on me for the actions of others. 

It's easy to talk about it in text or in a third party light, but confronting yourself is so hard and changing is even harder. And refusing to allow yourself to be your own bully is the hardest thing ever.

You'll get there, just one adjustment after another, you'll get there.

I certainly am. I'm working on myself hard-core... especially when it comes to giving myself credit instead of coming down hard on all of my flaws or downfalls.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you Ladies  and yes Dante is my baby. We have a tight bond. When I first met him, I didn't plan on buying him because he was more than I had to spend (I drained my bank account to buy him) but he was loose in the arena to show me what he moved like. My friends and I were loving on him and I walked away and he came trotting after me and stuck his head in my arms and licked my face. I just looked at him and said, "Ill take him." And his owner (an arab trainer) said, "don't you want to ride him first?" and I said, "yeah I guess I should." And he was perfect. So willing, so smart, and had an amazing work ethic. He feels amazing undersaddle. I always feel like he feels way more impressive and fancy than he looks lol. He's also weird for other people, for me he's super lovey for anyone else he tends to pin his ears and is kinda a jerk. He's also paranoid of strangers, if he doesn't know you he's very cautious and nervous like stranger danger. My friend Mandy (she's from Taiwan, she rivals me on odd and has a math degree) who is a saddle fitter handled him while I was gone to measure him for a saddle and she said, "he was good but he kept eyeing me like you're not my mother, who are you? Stranger danger!" But he LOVES my vet, a man I know with aspergers, and my two trainers otherwise he's either indifferent or ears pinned at others. But he is literally my saving grace, he has helped me heal more than he'll ever know but he knows he's loved.

Tina- absolutely. It's amazing how easily we fall into these holes and we can't seem to find the way out, until something happens and we've just had enough. When I was younger I couldn't understand a situation like yours or what I eventually fell into because I was naive and thought stupidly that stuff only happens to stupid or weak people and it doesn't. It happens to strong willed, independent and intelligent women more often than the "victim" mentality type of person. The difference is after it happens, we're made better people and gain strength from it, rather than losing ourselves. I can't imagine being like that for 10 years but I understand how it happens. It's blows my mind how easily it can happen. But I think it's amazing you pulled through and are doing so well now. A great relationship with your kids, a good man in your life and a horse you love and who loves you back. You deserve every ounce of happiness and I can't imagine how unbelievably strong a person you must be.

Whisperbaby22- Thank you  that is also really good advice. Perfectionism is a VERY hard thing to overcome and accepting that perfect is an impossibility is equally hard. Allowing yourself to feel everything I agree 110% it's extremely important. I think a lot people get stuck because they stop themselves from feeling or don't allow themselves to feel. But it sounds like you're doing a great job at what you're doing and keeping a ranch working and functional. Never easy to do. You can only do so much in a day, then you MUST take time to rest or it wears you out pretty quickly. But I think it's good you're keeping busy, I think I'd struggle with retirement too but keeping busy IMO is it's own kind of peace.

Skyseternalangel- I entirely understand. I've been there. When I'm in a depression, it can get pretty bad. I'm never in danger but it gets bad. I also tend to blame myself and get really worked up about what did I do wrong? What did I say was wrong? It is hard. Self awareness and self discovery is very hard because so much comes out a little at a time with each experience and realization. And having an inability to understand other people's action or blaming yourself for how they treat you. One thing I've learned or am learning is when people treat you despicably wrong, it has nothing to do with you, anything you said or did and everything to do with them. It speaks volumes of them and not you. It is incredibly hard. To change or recognize "hidden truths" within yourself sounds like it would be easy but it's not. We don't come with a manual or textbook to understand when we're broken how to fix ourselves or something isn't right, what is wrong? or knowing exactly who we are. There are no shortcut on that, we all have to figure it out for ourselves and unfortunately it can be outright painful, unfair, and frustrating. We have to work it out as we go, people are not black and white which is frustrating because we tend to categorize into groups but many times people do not fit into an exact box. But learning to love yourself and allow yourself to be happy is hard. Accepting that you are not perfect and never will be is hard. Sometimes we put way too much pressure on ourselves and expect things from ourselves we would never expect of others or are impossible. No one and nothing is perfect and accepting that IMO is hard but important to be happy. I think it's so odd how when we're kids we have such a black and white picture of the world and it seems as we age and mature there are so many shades in between that keep magnifying and multiplying as we learn to recognize them. I'll say age has definitely helped me a lot in coming to terms with and understanding situations.

I'm VERY suspicious at this point that I have Aspergers syndrome. The more Ive read about it and the more I research it, the more it fits. It's like a light went off in my head and I don't even know what started me researching it except my sister's bf has it and I was curious but then I started investigating and on every list about 90-95% explained me to a T. It was kinda mind boggling. I've gotten a lot better but my childhood, teenagehood my complete inability to understand normal human things instinctually but at the same time be super sensitive to other people's moods or emotions. A friend asked me why I felt the need to "label" myself and I said, I don't need a label I need a piece of the puzzle. I OBSESS with puzzles if a piece is out of place and I cant put it altogether I obsess like I was working on working out whether the last guy who abused my trust had aspergers or was sociopathic. I'm leaning towards sociopathic, the only thing he did that made me think aspergers was his sensitivity towards his dog and how he'd claim to be awkward but really wasn't (you can fake it if you're smart enough) and sociopaths can be sensitive towards animals and actually "love" them. Too charming, too manipulative, too on the money with faking being someone he thought I wanted. Aspergers aren't that skilled and the feeling he gave was more ruthless and a stale coldness that I have never felt around anyone I've known with aspergers or autism. And looking back it reminded me of my other exs who were sociopaths. And he was very intelligent which I think is why he hid it so well. The smart ones seem authentic and are so subtle, they seem real. I could rationalize aspergers but that stale coldness, it was one time, one look but I know that look too well it'll send chills up your spine but you'll ignore it as irrational.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Today was good. I rode Dante in a lesson and it was quite good though I was NOT focused. For the first time EVER Dante actually was really good, even when I wasn't on the money timing wise. I made lots of mistakes because I wasn't focused but he did not penalize me big time for it. I am SO SO proud of him. I kinda liked when he was so specific about how I rode him because it really made me focus and ride better (again focus is probably my biggest flaw) but Dante made up for me. He really took care of me that way and I am SO proud of him. He's never done that before. I totally know what I'm doing wrong but sometimes I just can't focus, no matter how hard I try. So Dante was great, Cassie was mediocre. However I'm getting very worried about him because he's started tripping more and more each ride. I thought maybe it was because he's barefoot but I have a feeling the EPM is advancing and I need to get treatment ASAP. I'm calling around tomorrow. I almost have insurance on him but I can't just get insurance and get the meds, so I'm going to see about working something out with my vet. He knows me quite well, knows I ALWAYS pay and am very honest/dependable. But he needs treatment, this horse is SO special to me. I'm familiar with EPM, I know what can happen and I know how quickly it can advance. I love him so very much and I just don't want to delay it.

I've just been distracted and when I'm on a puzzle and working it out, I get OBSESSIVE like wont' fall asleep for hours thinking about it, will wake up in the middle of the night with an "epiphany." It's mostly with doing research on abnormal psychology. Last year my obsessions were physics and neuroscience, I was particularly fascinated with quantum mechanics and particle physics. But I'm about 97% sure I have aspergers, I'm going to get officially tested because I took an actual, legitimate test that had the study and statistics behind it and it's used for diagnosis and for female aspergers 148 is aspergers and I scored a 152. But for me this is kinda a big deal because I finally have a piece of a puzzle I couldn't figure out. I just thought I was stupid in some respects because as a kid there was just SO SO much stuff I just didn't understand that other children did. I didn't learn to read until I was 8 because I just needed a lot of help. I've struggled with a lot of things most people haven't, especially socially. And as an adult I'm still naive to being manipulated and lied to, I just don't understand it. I can't wrap my brain around it. I'm very literal, it took me years to understand sarcasm but now I'm quite proficient at it. My trainer who is in Florida who is also a good friend of mine (we've known each other for over 8 years) when I worked for her, she used to call me Sheldon because I'm so much like him, except I'm not an @ hole. And when I was watching 3rd Rock From the Sun (love that show) she was like there you go Cassie, finally someone you can relate to. At the time I laughed and said, "you know it probably shouldn't be funny when it's true." And I don't learn like other people, I'm SUPER slow to learn new things because I am SO literal and concrete, I have to take in a lot more information to understand, I have to know all the details exactly or I'll make countless mistakes or ask a ton of questions, so I dont. However once I get it I usually get it better than most people, it just takes more time. And explaining to do simple tasks I haven't done before you literally have to explain it with the details most people think are obsolete because I will ask a million questions because I can't "work it out." Then in the Marines when I was in bootcamp or the schoolhouse they were like how are you so F-ing smart and so stupid! Please explain that to me. And the social stuff took me forever to work out. Not until I was like 22 or 23 could I actually talk to someone and not stare at the floor or too intently or stare off or get really robotic in speech. I couldn't do small talk at all. The Marines really taught me how to socialize and talk, so I'm almost normal but I can still get robotic sometimes. So this is in a way kinda a big deal for me as I have a piece of the puzzle and I can understand why I'm like this and on the other hand kinda overwhelming and scary.

Then I have Dante and Sporty towards the bottom. They actually get along really well but Sporty is TERRIBLE to other horses, especially geldings. He tried to push another gelding in the pond, literally tried pushing him while the other horse was sat down. And he takes buckets and hits other horses or takes sticks to poke them with. He also bullies them a lot. And Dante is my baby lol but you can see the size difference. Sport is 16.3h and Dante is 15.3 1/2h


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## Tazzie

He sounds like he's enjoying working with you enough that he's willing to save you when you're having focus issues! I think that's a good thing! Means he's thinking well I think! I do hope you get the EPM thing figured out though  Poor guy. Who are you looking into for insurance? I have NO idea where to start with that, and my husband and I have been discussing getting Izzie insured. She's on the home owners insurance as property not on the property, which saves us if she were to get out and get hit by a car, or run over/bite/hurt someone at any of our shows. But that saves us. I want something specifically for her now that her value is climbing (not that I'd ever sell her, but she is worth more than I could afford to replace ever)

It sounds like you have found a solid possibility of what may be going on. I'd definitely go for the testing just to have answers! Not that they could do anything, but then at least you would know how to handle situations!

Man, Sporty sounds like a jerk! Like the bully no one would want to be around! Though it's good him and Dante get along! And Dante is just so handsome! I love when you post pictures of him!


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## DanteDressageNerd

He thinks he's pretty handsome :lol: he has a star I keep trying to get to show up in pictures lol. And yes Sporty is a total jerk. He really is. I love him but he's such a jerk lol. When he was in the UK he actually tore down Christopher Bartle's cross country course while turned out at night. He literally took down jumps, took out all the brush from the brush boxes, scattered cones from the dressage arena he's such a butthead. My trainer has so many stories about him and I know every one of them is true because I rode and know him. Never ridden or met another horse like him and I pray I never do! There are some special ones you just can't fix. Olympic riders have ridden him and said he was a special one, so to me I'm like if they said he was special, then he is special. I honestly think I was able to do what I did with him because he and I had such a strong bond, otherwise I don't think he'd have let me ride him at all. Surprisingly I never fell off of Sporty but Dante's decked me 3x. All bareback and twice from going into a bucking, rearing roller coaster until I came off because he can't be cantered bareback without the pad. But now he's really good and is getting there. I still rode him proficiently, I wasn't totally absent but I wasn't getting the extra oomph and getting him to sit as well as I could have or half halting on the outside rein in the exact moment in canter depart and my timing was just a bit off because my focus just wasn't there. My trainer noted that too and said it was the first time she's ever seen him not totally give me the finger for that and actually step up and do it right even though I didn't hit all the marks. 

The insurance I am going for is actually in Tennessee and is called Connaway. My trainer that's here suggested them to me and said they're really good. So they may be someone worth looking into for Izzy, they're irreplaceable when they have a special place in your heart. Believe me I'm in the same boat. There is NO way I could replace Dante, even just looking for one of similar quality and training but it is a peace of mind. He's my baby.

And yes. For sure. I am getting tested, I already made an appointment because I have to know for sure. But women from what I understand often go undiagnosed because females naturally have better communication skills and it isn't as obvious, except to the female experiencing it. And my parents would never have had me tested, they don't believe in it unless the child can't function. I think my parents just thought I was spirited and quirky. And I think if I had been diagnosed then I would have more problems because then there would be an "excuse" for everything and I don't think I'd have been told as much how inappropriate some of my comments were. I didn't mean them to be, I just didn't understand that I was being rude of harsh. I'm still blunt but I think honesty isn't a bad thing :lol: If I had been diagnosed I'd never ahve had a real push well past comfort and into outright humiliation to work it out and learn to function. Though had my parents known they would have been like so what? How are you going to overcome it and thrive? My dad still tells me sometimes Cassie can you at least fake being human for a little while. I'm really weird about certain sensory things, I've gotten better and can get over it but my parents know sounds, certain lighting, touch, smells still overwhelms me sometimes. But it worries me because if I ever have kids aspergers parents are more likely to have children with more severe autistic type issues, there is a genetic component.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad he didn't give you the finger and you had a decent ride though  i think we all have focus issues sometimes!

And I'll have to look into them! Thankfully DH at this point just agrees with what I want to do with her (he long ago abandoned complaining since it doesn't work lol and I don't do anything outrageous anyway). The peace of mind is what I want. I just want to know she's covered.

And that is crummy about the children  I didn't know that would ever be an issue. Also, I think if you had known about this earlier, you probably would have pushed through it anyway. You strike me as the kind of person who would have at least!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I ordered the medicine to treat Dante, it is on its way!!! So he can start treatment ASAP. Talked to my vet to sort out the game plan and it comes with a $100 rebate so I'm VERY thankful. He may get worse before he gets better but it stresses me out because I have quite a bit of experience with it and I know how quickly they can degenerate because the parasite is in their spinal cord. But vet said he should be perfectly fine after treatment since we're treating before its too advanced and its heads or tails if they'll be alright.



Tazzie said:


> I'm glad he didn't give you the finger and you had a decent ride though  i think we all have focus issues sometimes!
> 
> And I'll have to look into them! Thankfully DH at this point just agrees with what I want to do with her (he long ago abandoned complaining since it doesn't work lol and I don't do anything outrageous anyway). The peace of mind is what I want. I just want to know she's covered.
> 
> And that is crummy about the children  I didn't know that would ever be an issue. Also, I think if you had known about this earlier, you probably would have pushed through it anyway. You strike me as the kind of person who would have at least!


I think so. I think the toughest part of learning dressage is gaining the focus to stay concentrated







I think the lack of focus or knowing what to focus on is why so many people get out of dressage before they get to the good parts but they don't want to take the time to learn. They want to skip it, I was like that lol which is why I evented.

And absolutely lol and glad he knows his place and is fine to go by your wishes. It sounds like you have him well trained and he respects you. And exactly, peace of mind is why I'm getting it too.

I dont know what I would do if I had known but in general yeah, I tend to adapt and over come. But I don't know if I'd have been allowed to become a Marine had I been diagnosed and without that experience, I wouldn't be who I am today. It was the toughest thing I ever did but it made me better. And aspergers isn't autism but it's in the same family. It's considered a part of the autistic spectrum. Some people call autism extreme male brain which is part of why it is more common in males but they don't know that much about it, just that there is a genetic component and likely multiple genes, rather than a single one that causes it. I have a female autistic cousin whose sister had perfect SAT scores and brother is equally as bright but is left brain dominant vs balanced like their sister. Both sides of my family are very similar, German families with left brain dominance and values. And aspies tend to be drawn to other aspies and at this point I think I'd need to find someone like me to trust them (sisters suggestion, her bf has aspergers but IQ>180). He's cool though, we get along, he said I needed an aspie too. He's a know it all, genius but more like IM SO EXCITED you want to talk about physics with me and will listen to my interests! But it also makes sense how I've managed to find 3 Sociopathic types because it's supposed to be rare. Aspergers type is the perfect victim, smart, unique individual who doesn't get what is happening and overlooks the signs because some of the signs are similar to aspergers and if something makes sense logically we will believe it blindly or at least I will. 

I talked to my dad. My parents are well educated and I told him and presented why. He said that would explain a lot and what are your disadvantages/advantages bc of this? If you need help in business either me or your sister can help you. He also offered to pay for Dante's medicine if I needed a loan but I have the money. It was really nice of him. My parents aren't super affectionate but they help me in so many ways. That's their way of saying I love you. German parents


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## Rainaisabelle

Glad you got the medication and that your parents are being supportive!
Not sure if my parents would be the same they aren't impressed with me owning a horse.


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## Tazzie

Hooray for the medicine on it's way! And bonus about the rebate! You'll have to keep us posted on how he goes before and after. I'd imagine you'll see a huge difference!

I do have him trained haha! But he also knows I won't be crazy and go buy an extremely expensive custom saddle. We do discuss things, but thankfully he understands why I want the things after I present it to him. Like I want to start Izzie on a preventative joint supplement, and explained we are (hopefully) going to start increasing the work load and how much we ask her to carry herself. He understood why I wanted to start, and said OK to me adding it to her next smartpak order. He just keeps me from buying trivial things I don't actually need :lol:

I don't even pretend to know much about aspergers since I don't know that I know anyone with it. I hadn't thought of the diagnosis possibly preventing you from joining the marines. I guess it was kind of a blessing to not know before joining. Life may have been very different! I'm glad you're family is supportive though! Knowing you have help if you need it is a very good feeling if you ever get into a bind!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I really don't have much time to sit and type. Unfortunately have this horrible essay to write. A close reading on a very irrelevant passage, so I have to make up random "insightful" junk and I get I need to for brain training but none the less I want to rip my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs because it's just stupid to me. I honestly just don't enjoy "english" classes. They're painful for me. I would MUCH rather work on math problems all day than do 2hrs of reading literature and finding the "hidden meaning." Fortunately I have a lot of historical knowledge and I'm familiar with philosophy but this assignment is just hard for me. 

But thank you. I am VERY grateful my parents are as supportive as they are. I wouldn't say they're particularly supportive of the horse thing but they know how important Dante is to me and want to make sure he gets whatever he needs. I'm fortunately pretty decent with money, so I almost always have the money. I just try not to go through my "rainy day" fund too quickly. I'm pretty frugal.

And a preventative joint supplement sounds like a good idea. I'm glad he's supportive and understands  I have Dante on a smaller dose of the senior one with smartpak because IMO it has the best list of ingredients for the most affordable price. They just don't need the same quantity as young horses. And I use the non herbal one without devils claw and it seems good but smartpak has a lot of good options!

That's alright I don't think most people are very familiar with aspergers, they may be familiar with autism which is in the same family but it's quite different. I'll just say TV representations would be Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory and all the "aliens" from 3rd Rock From the Sun. They're made to be funny and make fun of and exaggerate certain traits but to give an idea. With aspergers people usually have in their head someone VERY smart who is socially stupid and has strange quirks or is considered eccentric. It's partially true. Being extremely smart and having normal "smart people" quirks isnt aspergers, being socially awkward isn't aspergers. Aspergers is someone who literally just can't grasp normal interaction. Often times have a HARD time retaining short term memory but have excellent long-term memories. It's hard to explain.

Like I can kinda tell when someone is flirting but I have NO concept of how to flirt and it actually makes me want to throw up to even hold a guys hand I'm not interested in. I can't read when people are polite listening and feigning interest vs actually interested in what I have to say. I can't read normal social cues most people can. And I think of everything logically. If it's logical it makes sense to me and if it isn't I can't work it out or really struggle. I'm VERY easy to hoodwink because I'm kind of naive in a way I really shouldn't be, especially at my age. I literally can't cope if things don't make sense to me. Aspergers HAVE empathy but aren't always aware of when someone is hurting, can be somewhat "aloof" and can say pretty hurtful, insensitive things without meaning to because they don't realize that anything was wrong with what they said. It's more like well it's true? Why would it be hurtful? They're often VERY literal and can be quite gullible or unable to read sarcasm if the tone of voice hasn't changed to indicate sarcasm. People with aspergers often have odd sensory reactions to things. I literally can't handle horror movies, I cannot watch them or I literally can't sleep. No matter how much I rationalize it. I think this goes back to "sensory" issues linked to autistic spectrum. But aspergers people are FUNCTIONAL and often times might just be seen as odd or quirky. It's complicated, not everyone displays the exact same "symptoms" and everyone with it has varying degrees. Males and females display it quite differently too. I tried to describe it but it's hard to explain. They also often don't need people but WANT people in their lives. They tend to be very independent. I'm kinda basing this on the people I've met with aspergers, myself and what I've read to give an idea.

https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/asperger-syndrome

https://www.aane.org/about_asperger_syndrome/what_is_asperger_syndrome.html

http://www.autism-society.org/what-is/aspergers-syndrome/


And two more Dante pictures. The first one is a better "conformation" and "topline" photo.


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## whisperbaby22

Well good for your for pursuing this. Although in some ways all this categorizing of personalities has caused harm, such as the over medication of kids because they are acting like kids, so much good has come of it. My own story is prosapagnosia. When I was a kid a horse went over backward on me on pavement and I banged the back of my head pretty bad. I did not discover my problem til my mid 40's, so I spent a lot of my life with people accusing me of being rude. I wasn't rude, I simply do not recognize people's faces. 

Knowing my problem has helped greatly. But I still have a lot of trouble with movies, if two actors look and sound to much alike, I can't tell them apart and the whole movie doesn't make sense.


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## Skyseternalangel

Jeez by those definitions I too have Aspergers.


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## DanteDressageNerd

WhisperBaby22- I'm sorry to hear that. It's incredible how head trauma can have such lasting effects. I looked up what you have and that is really interesting, I never thought how having difficulty recognizing faces would interfere with the movie experience. But I completely agree with you on the over diagnosing of children. Personally I do not believe in putting children in "therapy" unless they had something very traumatic happen or are having very serious struggles and the parents cant' resolve it. I sometimes wonder if part of it is today many parents are told not to "parent" or no one is home to help the kids or the kids are not a priority to the parents which is sad or they refuse to discipline their kids or give them structure because God forbid their perfect marshmallow's spirit is broken because you told them no (yeah I know people who think it's a sin to tell their kids no). But I have HUGE respect for parents who raise their kids well and their kids have manners and are sensitive to animals or other people. I think the advancements they have made in helping people has greatly improved the quality of many people's lives and the increased awareness of mental health is definitely good but I think diagnosing children so early when they're being "kids" and not helping them learn discipline, to cope or manage and being a "pill happy" society is getting in the way of kids learning how to manage and cope with life. It might be part of why we have a generation of "entitlement." Of I'm owed, give me this, give me that, I don't want to work *shrugs* there is less emphasis on the "family" now too. 

Sky- I don't know. I can't say whether you do or don't. There's a lot that goes into aspergers but it is possible. 

I will say I was extremely angry on realizing how many people have been able to take advantage of me because I'm literally blind sided when they do underhanded things or lie, manipulate and use me. Lying and manipulation is a sore spot with me because I literally do not understand it. I don't get why people do that or how. It doesn't make sense to me like why not just be real and honest and work to become a better person? It's way easier and happier way to live but it requires effort to heal. Some emotionally damaged people for whatever reason like to take it out on other people, like they want someone else to feel as poorly and broken inside as they do. And the sad thing is they often try to destroy or go after people either like themselves or what they were like before they were broken or someone they actually like which is pretty messed up but that's people. Bad people just view others as collateral damage and don't care what they have to say/do/etc to get what they want. I don't know if they feel remorse or not, I'm not them. I just know as a person I try to avoid doing things that I'd feel guilty for, so I just treat people how I'd want to be treated and never intentionally hurt anyone. And sociopaths do not feel guilt or remorse, they don't feel love or empathy at all. They view people are no different than objects but use charms and are often incredibly sarcastic and form to fit their victim for a time. Lies roll off their tongues as though they're the truth and you never know if anything they said was true or what parts were true and you can drive yourself insane analyzing what you can't know for sure. The smart ones are SUPER subtle and seem genuine. They're intoxicating because they seem like everything you ever wanted and you trust them. The smart ones seem normal and fly under the radar and you won't know who they are until they're done with you. And you realize you never meant more to them than the scotch tape on their desk or a napkin, just as disposable which is the heartbreaking part. It's not something you just get over, it leaves a scar.

lol sorry this has gotten quite off horse topic. Probably won't see Dante today as I'm not finished with my essay and have a lot more to do with it :-(


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## Skyseternalangel

Good luck with your essay!!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you! I need it! I'm ALMOST done. I have no idea whether it is going to be good or not, it's a close reading. I'm good at analytical essays or explanatory essays or argumentative essays but close reading is like dissecting poetry. A rock was thrown into the forest to give life what does that symbolize? And I'm like a rock was thrown? I'm a very logical thinker but this IS definitely expanding my limits and pushing me. 

Definitely not seeing Dante :-( I am a bad mom. I saw him yesterday but didn't work him as I rode Saturday who is steadily getting more broke *head desk* slowest horse to break ever. He's a special cookie and my friend and I can't work him everyday. She has work and a bunch of baby horses at home (she's a trainer) and has lovely trakehners. She says Dante is seriously confused because Dante acts like a mare. He nickers at me when he sees me and is very one person oriented. And he rides like a mare lol. I told her he was not confused, he's fully aware he's a boy. There is a reason he was separated from his girlfriend. She was a little bit of a seductress.

Pictures are of Dante and his old mare friend (she is very well bred). Then my two cats and Comet when he was a 5yr old. Comet was a 16.3h trakehner I rehabbed and kept the ride on until I left for bootcamp. He was a good boy.


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## Tihannah

Comet is gorgeous! And I want the grey and white cat!! Lol. We have an adorable barn cat and she's the only one of several that is people friendly. She always comes to visit me and get love when I'm done riding.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Comet is very pretty lol. You wouldn't know it but when he was a colt/stallion he was the worst creature to handle. Comet was dangerous as a stallion (which is why he was gelded), despite proper handling. He just could not handle his hormones, literally a week after he was gelded he was perfect. He's a hunter now and is doing very well. Comet was nice but he'd never have made an upper level dressage horse. I had a discussion with my trainer on this actually and she said Comet would kick Dante's butt all day long to 2nd level and after that he'd never collect like Dante can.

And yes both cats are very friendly. I love both. Lyla (the tabby with green eyes) is much more friendly and lovable than Athena (gray and white) but at night Athena sleeps under the covers with me and Lyla is a spazz lol.

I have sent in my insurance and will be waiting for approval. I had to argue why he's worth what he's worth because he doesn't have a show record but to be honest, to try to replace him would cost WAY more than what I'm having him insured for. Honestly with the training he has, he has very correct responses. It's taken a lot to get him where he is and I have no doubt he will go upper level or show FEI as long as we continue training. But honestly to buy a horse at a similar training stage, the liklihood is the horse would have to have half a year of re-training to fill in the holes to be where Dante is because the goal is to turn him into an PSG-I1 horse. Besides I love Dante WAY too much and would prefer to think everything will work out perfectly :lol: he's my special boy and I feel a bond with him I don't feel with almost any other horse, except for Sporty. I like my special cookies.

My friend (trainer with trakehners) we joked I could come pick out a trakehner if anything were to happen lol. They're all 3-4-5yrs olds.


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## Tazzie

Eek, I love the running pictures! Absolutely love them!

Regarding insurance, that's where I would struggle. I have NO idea what price I'd put on her. She is that priceless to me I can't think. I'm hoping after we show at regionals we can price her for what I'd think she is worth. I don't really know where we will wind up showing wise. After my first lesson with our trainer (a lady known for not sugar coating a thing and only meaning what she says; which is why I like her) she said Izzie could absolutely go to grand prix. No, it won't have the super crazy flashy movement, but it'd be correct. I'm saying "let's try showing first level first and start schooling second before we begin really talking :lol:"

Lol, Nick says something similar. Said I could find a horse for me easily. I said for me, yes. For all of us and take me up the levels? No.

With regards about kids....

We discipline. I hate the society tries to say we can't, but it's needed. We don't beat our children, but they will know when they are being bad. We tell our kids no (and are met with some insane tantrums sometimes, but we hold our ground). It would not surprise me if one of them was ADD or something, but I will not take them for testing. I have zero intention of giving pills to my children. My mother was the best example of this. My youngest brother is clearly ADD. She would meet with all of the teachers prior to school and said "if he finishes his work, give him more or he will disrupt the class." He would finish it far earlier than the other kids, and then get bored. He always wondered why he had more work than the other kids, but didn't figure it out until after he was out of high school. And though I squeeze in my riding and showing, those kids are our world. We don't buy them lots of crap. We get down on the floor and play with them. We take them outside in the snow. We have FUN with our kids. And I'm proud to say my children would MUCH rather go outside and play and help do yard work (lol) than sit inside and watch tv or play games.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Been busy today. 

For sure Insurance is definitely a struggle. They said they couldn't insure him for what I valued him at but they still allowed me to insure him at a reasonable sum. You have to prove the horse's value and when he's shown they will raise it but not until he's been shown. And certainly I think there are quite a few horses who can do GP, maybe not fancy and not CDI level but correct and do well. There is a pintabian in my region that competes at GP and does quite well. But I'm with you. Let's get going 2nd level and then 4th and PSG before we start talking going I1-I2-GP!! It's a journey! 


Nick is definitely right. You have a once in a lifetime horse. I dont know many who will happily look after a husband or kids and then also get it together and be ready to go into the show ring. That's pretty special!!

I am entirely with you on that assessment, especially as you are a parent. I've always though consistent structure, consistent expectations and consistent but reasonable consequences. No means no, not wiggle room. And I believe it, especially depending on the severity of the condition but I wholly agree most kids with ADD or ADHD would be better off having to learn to work with their condition without medication. The brain is like a muscle, the more you use it towards self discipline and figure out how to keep focus, the easier it becomes. Giving kids meds is robbing them of that process IMO. Would need the science to back me up but a lot of kids become dysfunctional without their meds because they've always had that to mask the issue. I understand. I have what seems like a laundry list of neurological "issues" and I have struggled a LOT, been bullied a TON and been knocked to the ground pretty hard and failed a lot but it's character building and little by little you start figuring it out. 

Dante has started his EPM meds and his symptoms have gotten worse. I actually almost cried because I rode him today (not hard) and he started out quite wobbily. It was pretty unsettling, I have rehabbed EPM horses and I know it's important to keep them working and keep them making nerve connection and aware. So I kept riding and he got better but he couldn't use his right hind properly so he couldn't bend properly. It just didn't feel right so we mostly did walk and did serpentines, shallow loops and played with changing the tempo and rhythm. Asking for more collection to a more lengthened frame. He doesn't have a bad walk but he can easily walk himself out of his rhythm. Then did some trot, played with serpentines, 12m circles and adjusting rhythm and tempo so may in one corner I'll do a collected, quick tempo trot or another circle I'll do a slow, long trot. And then let him walk. He seemed to get better with that but then it got to a point where he felt like he was trying but couldn't and so I got off and walked him. The ride was short.

Other than that I feel like this bitter person lol. People call it a negative mindset and I'm like no, it's a realistic mind set. I cherish good people when I meet them because I think good people are something like unicorns. So rare they need to be cherished and appreciated. I used to give people the benefit of the doubt and give people so many chances and opportunities. I think you get to a point where you've had enough and you've seen such ugliness from humanity and from people you thought were really great with solid character. lol I know how bitter I sound, it's been years of upbeat it's all a mindset, everything happens for a reason and I just need to keep trying but I've kinda lost faith in humanity. I have a LOT of wonderful people in my life, I know there are a lot of good people out there. I just can't always tell who is who and I think once you know what people are capable of, it really changes your perspective. What's been seen, can't be unseen. A friend of mine is a yogi and would give me a philosophical perspective of how it's all in my head and it's kinda like I don't WANT to be bitter, I'm just tired of being abused over and over again. There is a LONG history, I think the last one was just the straw that broke the camels back. I literally don't understand a lot of human behavior, I know from reading and observing but I just don't get people. There is a real ugliness inside a lot of people, it's amazing what people are capable of when they see an opportunity. I know I'm not like them and won't become like them. I know I'm not capable of it because I have a Catholic guilt complex (I'd feel SO bad even thinking about it), I absolutely believe in God and "the inferno" and I lack the social skills and ability, even if I wanted to.

Also Dante was NOT impressed with his medicine!


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## Tazzie

We may wait until after regionals to insure her, so we know her value is a bit closer to what I could maybe replace her for (highly, highly doubtful though). She is absolutely my one in a million horse 

Totally agree regarding the meds and such. They are used a lot more than they were years ago. I'd rather my kids learn to work through it.

Poor Dante  I hope he starts feeling better soon! I don't blame him on the medicine though! Icky!

And I don't think you're bitter at all, though I do know the world is full of nasty people. I try never to be that nasty person.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I got an A on my math test, so I'm happy with that. 

I lunged Dante yesterday, his right hind didn't look 100% His right stifle is the issue and he has to be in work. I lunged him over cavaletti and polls and that seemed to really help. He has a right stifle issue which can only improve with work, cavalettis and polls are highly encouraged by trainer and vet. I'm also making an appointment with the chiropractor because he's really struggling to bend right, even on the ground for carrot stretches. 

My vet and I discussed Dante's treatment plan. This vet and I have known each for quite a few years, he is probably the best in my immediate area for soundness and sport horse related stuff. He and his brother are also golfing buddies with my dad :lol: or were when any of them had time to golf. He was actually the one who said to train with the trainer I'm with now 8-9 years ago. So honestly I owe him BIG time. Otherwise I wouldn't have nearly the skills or ability I do, I'd be riding probably PSG-I1 but not correctly. That trainer can get people up the levels and they can get passing scores but I've re-trained multiple horses from her, their training is VERY incomplete. A lot of gaps and holes. I had one that was showing 3rd-4th level but couldn't trot long and low :eek_color: could NOT carry itself. Did NOT understand what a half halt was or a whole lot of thing I don't remember because it's been 4 or 5 yrs since I rode that horse. Those horse also tended to come with behavioral and anxiety type issues. Some we were able to train the anxiety out and others no. Behavioral issues went away though. But anyways we're giving Dante a full tube once a week. And discussed how the parasite EPM which attacks the spinal cord may have evolved from over deworming horses. Where the parasites are developing resistance and possibly transforming into more deadly or problematic parasites. Or it could be people just weren't as aware as they are now, medical advances have made HUGE leaps in the last 30 years and people are recognizing it more and more *shrugs* who knows, so many ideas and nobody knows for sure.

Otherwise I'm figuring out how to "manage" or "cope." I've been talked to about this for over a year since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (it is NOT rapid mood swings, it's weeks-months of mania or depression) and I've finally accepted I just need to try meds. For the record Winston Churchill, likely Abraham Lincoln, and Robin William had it. I was advised as a quality of life issue but I'm VERY stubborn and was determined I could beat it mentally and with the right attitude lol. Nope. When the problem is in your head and messes with your will power/motivation and fight, it's a problem. Will power matters but at the end of the day, no matter how much you fight or resist it will take over. It's like winning many battles and losing the war. You can't control it. I won't elaborate on it, I'll just say when the sickness is in your thoughts, it really breaks you down and you get tired of fighting yourself just to FUNCTION like a normal person. I don't feel sorry for myself and I don't like sympathy but I'm big on understanding where people are coming from.

It sucks because I'm an ambitious person, I really want to make something of myself. I want to be proud of my life and it's hard to do when your mind is messing with your ability to function like sometimes I literally have no willpower because I am so numb and so worn out to I can't just sit down without shaking and my mind making me unable to cope with stress. I can make myself, I functioned as a Marine but it was literally fighting every moment, literally fighting to keep it together and then I'd get home and fall apart. People don't get it. I've heard people say (not about me) but about mental health, mood disorders, abnormal psychology in general that it's all in people's heads and they just need to get some willpower and fight it out. And I always think oh really would you walk up to quadriplegic and tell them to just walk out of their chair because it's just in their head? It's all a mind game, if you think you can walk, you can. I think because mental illness is "invisible" without an MRI some people think it's made up. I'd LOVE for those types to spend 3hrs inside my head when I'm at either end of the spectrum and it's at its worst or someone with some kind of issue. Then they can talk about how it's made up and we're just weak because everyone feels like that. I also think of it like this, you can think in your mind you can pitch 1000 baseballs but when you get to try to do it in real life, that person will instantly be humbled when they realize they can only pitch 50. This is also why arguments based on hypotheticals frustrate me lol. Mood disorders are fairly common with aspergers as well. It sucks how big the stimga is against mental health, so frustrating.

This is kinda a rant because my friends keep saying it WILL happen but I know reality. I've kinda accepted I probably won't be able to have a family someday. I want that more than anything but realistically you can't make that happen and I really admire people who have that because that's a real blessing. I'm such a hard fit and am so insanely picky but settling isnt the answer either. Statistically the odds are against me lol. And I'm not into settling for less than what I'd be happy with. The engineer who turned out to a total jerk, I thought fit that bill because he was everything I wanted. He was as smart as I was and we had so many good talks. From physics and quantum mechanics, electrical theory, philosophy to whatever. We laughed and joked a lot, he was former navy so we had raunchy/inappropriate military humor. He seemed as contradictory in personality as I am, seemed as kind hearted, seemed to have the same values, etc. Our political ideas were similar. I thought he just had the same social issues I do, nope. He just showed me what he thought I wanted. I'm SUPER supportive but I don't feed the ego with superficial compliments but I'm the rock when things go south and hold others together. I'm very easy to be around on a day to day basis and to live with but at the same time I really need quite a lot but I have a hard time letting people see how vulnerable and broken up I am. I never want them to see me weak or break down. I'm used to being a leader or being the person people look to and respect. I was a mentor for a long time. I have a hard time in real life letting people see past the mask which is probably why I put it here.


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## Skyseternalangel

Don't throw in the towel on any aspect of life! Relationships aren't a race that you have to win nor is it a necessity in life either. They develop, or they don't... but don't throw in the towel. 

Also there are other ways to have a family. Giiiiirl, you don't need no man.


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## whisperbaby22

We all walk in our own moccasins, people who try to tell you things are either repeating something they heard, or telling you about something that worked for them. You are doing fine because you are advocating for yourself, the same as you are doing for your horse - listening to those whose opinions you respect, then deciding what is best.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you both. I really appreciate it. I feel guilty voicing my rants but I feel I need to because it gets so frustrating. I can talk to my sister, she is young but the voice of reason because I'm kinda erratic. But I try not to overload her because she has major depression and is busy. And other friends I try not to overload.

I know you don't have to have a man but for me. I really value a quality relationship, that's something I really want. Someone to build a life with and have a real relationship, I've only dated sociopathic types so I've never experienced what it's like when a guy actually cares about me vs just puts on a show for a little while and all the mind games, I avoid thinking about it because it makes me want to scream. Every word was a lie. Every word chosen was chosen with some end goal in mind, none of it was true. None of it was sincere. All was designed to put them in a better light or to turn me into modifiable clay. Everything is always about them, they NEVER care about you or anything that matters to you that they politely feign interest (which is part of what hurts so badly). Even when they opened up and talked to me, I don't know if anything of what they said was true or if they just have the act down to a T and they did it ONLY to make me think they trusted me and I meant something to them. The performances I'll say take talent, not overly dramatic just enough to see something. I was just so naive. They're master manipulators and work to turn you into a puppet which they do so gradually, you don't even realize they're doing it. They can read and pick up on people at a superficial level so quickly. And to be honest I think I cross paths with them, even though they're rare because I'm an oddity myself and they're constantly bored and looking for something interesting which is why a lot of them actually like psycho (I am not) but a lot of them enjoy that. Psychotic misery, crazy I know but some people find it comfortable or enjoy the rush. They make it a practice of predicting others and playing people like pawns. It's incredible because if they're smart they seem so real because they're just subtle enough to seem genuine. It's just a game to them, they literally don't care if it hurts you or how it affects you and they will never apologize and mean it, they'll always work it out that it's your fault somehow.

But I really want to know what a real relationship is like. I just don't think it's a realistic expectation for me. There are alot of really good qualities and a lot of ones that are deal breakers for most guys. They "want" me but they don't want me, they desire what they see but not me as a person. I'm attractive but my personality is something of an acquired taste. If I ever meet the right someone, I know it won't be perfect but I can't imagine what it'd be like when the other person cares as much as I do. I want to put that effort into someone and them do the same. Like equals, sometimes they need more and sometimes I need more. And is supportive of me, as I would be of them. I wouldn't have kids outside of that kind of situation. I value first the quality relationship and having kids 2nd but I think it would break my heart to watch my child walk for the first time or talk and have no one to share it with because for me it's having a kid with someone and walking that path together. I wouldn't do it on my own. I know people do it all the time and I'm not saying it is wrong but it isn't for me. It's the partnership and unity I seek. Having someone I can really build a life with and you can't make that person appear. You can't make them come into your life no matter how much or how little you put yourself out there, you can't force it. 

Absolutely. We all have our own struggles and crosses to bare. You have difficulty with remembering faces and I'm sure that poses many unique challenges. It's important to have people who love and support you but also give you a firm slap across the face from time to time :lol: and I try to look out for Dante as much as I can. I'm not perfect but I try. I try to look out for myself too. 

I'm trying to advocate and trying to be as functional as I can be. I want to succeed and be able to support my horse and everything without worrying which is part of why I chose to major in computer science, even though it is REALLY hard and SO mind numbingly specific. I also used to study economics but I'll leave it at that.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Overall not a bad day. Hand walked a lot of horses. I help out at the barn on Saturdays to help reduce my board. 

I rode Dante today. I was too short on time to put a saddle on, so I rode bareback and he was actually REALLY good. I felt like we had a really productive ride. He needs to see the chiropractor, bending right is really hard for him. Even neck stretches he struggles. But overall really good ride. We did trot actual collected steps into lengthening and back to collection and then working and medium paces. We did some walk and halt to canters both ways and they weren't bad, not like a schoolmaster got this but he really stepped under into them. Just a delayed reaction. 10m tear drop loops for changes of direction (did quite a few of those). Canter we played with shortening and touched on lengthening in the canter. He's still not strong enough for a true lengthened canter. We worked on shoulder in and haunches in as well. Haunches in has improved DRASTICALLY, way better. Going left it feels like he really had it and going right he can do it but it's hard for him and getting the correct bend is difficult to maintain. But it was really cool when he pushed off into the lengthening, it took a little bit because he tries to break into canter and I just kept sending him and eventually he really sat back, lifted and lengthened his stride. It felt beautiful, the thrust and power was delightful! Canter felt amazing, he felt so up. It's the first time I really felt like I had his canter totally with my seat. I felt like we were really intune which was nice! He was so sensitive to my half halts in my seat I felt like there was an invisible string between his hind legs and my abdomen. It was pretty cool. I know there were things I could have done better like keeping firmer in my upper body and timing and such but I worked out some timing issues and stayed focused so I was really proud I kept on track. Lesson tomorrow so hopefully I keep focused and get my butt whooped.

Pictures of Dante. I take weekly topline photos to show the difference because musculature fascinates me and it shows me how he's developing. He has a huge neck, overall he is getting in better and better condition. He actually has a pretty refined build naturally but the muscle density adds some substance. I kinda wonder if he's not growing. He's 6 this year but arabians are known for growing until 7 and he has grown over an inch in the last 7 months. He's just under 16h. His wither are TOTALLY different, his wither used to be a little muttony and now they're becoming more defined *yay* And the last picture is because I'm looking forward to Spring and seeing his summer coat again. I know I'm biased but I think he's a handsome fellow, so different from the gawky SUPER downhill baby I originally purchased.


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## Tihannah

I think he's sooo handsome!  I, too, am keeping a close eye on Tess's topline. She is gradually building muscle and definitely looks better than when she first came to me. I just wish the whole process were faster! Lol.


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## whisperbaby22

The lighting there really shows how good he looks.


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## Skyseternalangel

I have a whole FB album dedicated to Sky's topline for the past 5 years. I try and take photos everytime I go out


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you Dante has grown into a pretty handsome horse. I will say as a baby I didn't think he'd mature so handsome. I also didn't think he'd be as nice as he's becoming. He amazes me week by week how much he changes to ride, work with and move. His movement is night and day what it used to be. It's amazing how training can change them so much. He almost doesn't look like the same horse but he's grown a LOT. He's probably an inch and half or more taller than when I got him and his back has lengthened quite a bit. I was VERY worried about that when I bought him because he had almost no back lol. I actually had people ask me if he's some kinda of warmblood or spanish horse. Nope just a quarab.

Dante last year and last one was from the previous set to compare how much he's changed.

And absolutely. Musculature is fascinating to see how they change over time and through different stages. And Tess looks a lot better than whens he first came!


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## Tazzie

Man he is gorgeous in his summer coat!! And it's fun watching the topline form, but I've never thought to get pictures, doh! Maybe I'll start this year! Though, I don't have much of an area to show consistent improvement... No fun riding out of a trailer (I want a barn...)

And glad he's doing better and you had a nice bareback ride!! A chiro I'm sure will make him feel wonderful!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Yes his summer coat is beautiful! He becomes a pretty deep golden color and he's covered in dapples. Some of the pics don't show how dappley he is but in the sun it's beautiful! His full brother is the same exact color. He has another brother who is a deep golden buckskin tobiano and he's stunning! They kept him a stud, he has tons of awards.

Rode Dante in a lesson, he was good but his hind end kept slipping under him :-( poor baby. With EPM it can get worse with treatment for a little bit but then it gets better. We kept the lesson short. All we did was walk-trot and nothing complicated. We did one bow tie exercise which is kinda hard to explain but basically a 10m half circle from F to B, at B a 10m circle and from B to M 10m circle and at B another 10m circle. We ran through it once so I knew the exercise and Dante tried SO SO hard but he just couldn't quite control his hind, so we called it quits and let him be done. I felt bad for him. He tried SO SO hard.

Valentines with my Dante, so we took a few pics together. I don't care if people think it's rediculous or lame. This is my kid and I love him, even if he is an @ss. My trainer was like Dante we're so proud of you, you're so good and then he was a jerk and she's like and he's back to the Dante we know and get frustrated with lol.

My eyes are actually a pretty deep green color, so it's interesting when they come out blue or grayish and they're actually different colors from each other. I also made cookies and went out with friends last night so I actually made myself up and forgot I can be cute lol. It felt good, we laughed a lot. I actually drank which is SUPER rare for me and it took like 2 margaritas for me to feel it. I was so Sheldonesque, I just get more awkward because I'm not thinking about what I say, how it comes out or my social interaction. So it was pretty fun/funny. We were a group of about 10. We usually have a good time when we go out together, it's just been a while.


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## Skyseternalangel

It's never lame to take photos or selfies with your pony! You look great!


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## Tazzie

I'd be sad if you stopped taking pictures of him!! We don't take many right now, but just you wait until show season  I have my own personal photographer, so we get LOTS haha!

Poor Dante  Stuff usually has to get worse before it gets better, but doesn't make it any easier on you. And I'm very familiar with the bow tie exercise! It's a good one, just haven't used it on Izzie yet! I know how difficult it can be to explain!

Glad you had a good night out!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you lol. I usually don't take a ton of selfies but when I'm with my boy or I get cleaned up and think I'm cute like see it happens lol which is funny because I used to dress up a lot. Now I'm like makeup, too much effort. I'll wear my sweats lol. I stick out too much when I'm made up and I don't like being looked at like that but sometimes it feels good to be like yep I still got it lol. Haha I know how conceited that sounds but I thought it was funny. I think most women know the feeling.

And it's upsetting that he's so wobbly but I know it means the medicine is working and to be thankful it's taking effect. Mark (the vet) said it was very likely it'd be worse before it got better. So I'm glad I was warned so I didn't panic. It upset me though because he was trying SO SO hard and he'd start going really well and his hind end would slip out from under him. My trainer and I discussed we're riding him on the bit but not collected work. She suggested if he's like this do some trot but training level type exercises and tons of walk with emphasis on laterals. Haunches in/shoulder in, leg yield, walk piroettes, collected/extended paces, etc. His walk has improved a TON in the past month, much more regular. He has a nice walk when he's through. If he's tense he tends to go lateral in his walk or if he's not over his back he walks out of his rhythm.


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## Tazzie

Oh yes, I know that feeling! I rarely do my make up lol thank god I work in the science industry and no one cares what I look like!

Probably a good idea to kind of do some easier work for now. Keep him working, but not full on schooling second level stuff. It is sad he wants to work so hard and his body won't let him though  Just keep reminding yourself it's temporary and he'll feel A TON better sooner rather than later!


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol that's awesome!! What kind of work do you do? I hope I can do that when I finally get my BS in 3 years lol.

For sure. I don't want him to lose confidence or become frustrated because his body isn't working properly. I feel bad for him but he's a pretty cocky, resilient horse so I don't feel too bad.

I attached from photos from today. And then Dante's baby pictures and one with his mom. His dad is the chestnut, the buckskin is his full brother and the buckskin pinto is his half brother. He's a really nice horse, I've met him. He's a stallion and has +++/ His sire is 15.2h and I think he's saddleseat/country pleasure bred. I don't know. I don't know arabians too well. Just investigating.


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## Tazzie

I'm a genomics researcher  I isolate and analyze the quality of RNA using some pretty cool equipment  I love it! And I love I can wear jeans, a nice shirt, pony tail and no makeup haha!

It is good he is cocky and resilient right now, though I'm sure he'd appreciate not being asked to do something outside of what he can right now.

He is just too cute! Love the baby pics too! Adorable! His full brother and half brother and lookers too! What is his sire's name? If I don't recognize him, I bet my best friend would if he's country/english pleasure!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> I'm a genomics researcher  I isolate and analyze the quality of RNA using some pretty cool equipment  I love it! And I love I can wear jeans, a nice shirt, pony tail and no makeup haha!
> 
> It is good he is cocky and resilient right now, though I'm sure he'd appreciate not being asked to do something outside of what he can right now.
> 
> He is just too cute! Love the baby pics too! Adorable! His full brother and half brother and lookers too! What is his sire's name? If I don't recognize him, I bet my best friend would if he's country/english pleasure!


That's really cool!! What is the purpose of your research with RNA? Or what are you trying to uncover/learn from it? :lol: I love the science community, it's also perfectly normal to be quirky and awkward and you won't be ostracized like in marketing or something along those lines.

Oh for sure. We're not pushing him or stressing him right now. I may just lunge him over polls and cavaletti if he can do it. So it's light and easy, plus it's good for him to keep using himself but without worrying about a rider. 

I think they're pretty lol. His sire is My Alibi, I don't think he's super well known but I like the horses I've seen from him. Bucky (pinto stallion) to me looks very capable for dressage but he's used as an all around horse and now he's a breeding stallion. Dante's full brother and Dante move totally different. His full brother was top 10 half arab for western pleasure twice. While Dante could never do western pleasure, when I bought him the trainer said he doesn't move right for English or western pleasure. Not built roght for halter either. He has quality, trained movement but raw he looks like a mess lol which is part of why I got a really good deal on him. He's my kid.


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## knightrider

About having kids, my kids are adopted. My husband and I took a class for 10 weeks planning to adopt a special needs kid. There are many older special needs kids in foster homes who would LOVE to have a single parent and a real home. And there is a huge need for decent foster homes. One of the horrifying statistics that we learned in our classes before we adopted is that if you adopt an older child who has been in foster homes, you can pretty much expect that there has been sexual abuse. How sad! About one third of the people in our class were single parents. A loving single parent is far better than a lousy foster home with two parents. Just a thought--please don't think I am putting pressure on you. I like reading your posts and your thoughts and like you just the way you are!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Knightrider- I'm actually considering that when I'm better situated, if I have the time and resources. I don't half ss much and I think a kid coming from a rough upbringing would need a lot of extra help, love and guidance. Which I don't mind doing but Id want to make sure I was able to give it. Having certain challenges myself, I may be able to reach out and help but they'd have to be open to it. I'm pretty patient for the most part but pretty firm and consistent in expectations. But you said they have classes and things to learn and know about these kids, their situations and what's going on. It's definitely I'll look into! But I also would still have Dante (hopefully) and don't want to end up neglecting him either. Balance can be tricky and I wouldn't want to half ss either. *shrugs* it's impossible to predict the future but we can make educated guesses. I'd hope I'd have a quality relationship or husband by the time I'm there though. But the truth is I have no idea if that will happen. God owes us nothing, basic conclusion drawn from the story of Job lol. And thank you







I do my best, even if I seem ungrateful or bitter or resentful at times lol. Just part of the human experience.

I also didn't know all that about foster care. I knew it happened but I didn't realize it was so common. Sexual abuse is VERY hard to recover from, no matter what it leaves a stain or scar. And a kid experiencing that just breaks my heart to realize how often it happens. But spirit and resilience makes a big difference and having proper guidance and emotional support.


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## Dehda01

His sire used to be advertised quite a bit. Not sure he still is. I haven't seen him promoted in a while, but I also haven't been looking.

My NSH grew until he was 9... BTW. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tazzie

The lab I'm in is the skin care line  Making sure the stuff they want to use doesn't negatively affect the skin. It's neat, and yeah, we're all a bit weird in the industry haha!

Poles and cavalletti sound like a great idea!

I'll have to look him up, and see if my friend has heard of him  Amazing how differently full siblings will move! His half brother looks really nice though! And Dante is beautiful undersaddle, so oh well if he moves like a mess at liberty!


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## DanteDressageNerd

That's really interesting. I don't think I've met a horse who kept growing until the age of 9 but it is surprising how each one can take various amounts of time to grow. I suspect Dante is still growing.

I'm not super familiar with Dante's sire or arabians in general. I've ridden arabians but that's about the extent I know. But I've seen several horses by him when I was up in PA because the trainer I bought Dante from had several Alybi babies. She has another one, a mare 16.2h and full sister to Bucky the buckskin pinto. I met Bucky there, I didn't know he was a stallion until someone told me. I mean we don't exactly greet horses by looking between their legs lol.

That's pretty darn cool. So just testing to recognize what chemicals negatively affects skin tissue and which ones have a neutral or positive effect. Interesting. It actually sounds like you have a a cool job!

A better picture of Dante's brother. I blocked out the owner's face just because I don't know her personally. And for sure. We have 3 full siblings from my trainer's mare and they're all so different, move very differently and are quite different in personality. The two girls the older one is very prima donna in personality, has movement in need of organization but very nice quality mare. Her younger sister is more go with the flow but probably the nicest moving horse I have ever seen in my life. She is a freak of nature, all 3 gaits are out of this world. But I don't know how sound she'll be. And their younger brother I think will be the most sound and is somewhere between the oldest sister and the 2nd sister in movement quality. He's not a freak like his sister but he's very nice. 

whisperinghillfarm

whisperinghillfarm

And thank you. I think Dante moves pretty well now. His movement on the ground has changed a lot from undersaddle work but loose he still cross fires everywhere and can't decide on inside or outside lead and can't keep a rhythm lol. Most useless gallop ever, I just look at him and feel uninspired to ever take him cross country lol.


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## knightrider

And there you are up there on that website, looking like a million bucks! Congratulations!


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## Dehda01

Most of my half Arab geldings grew for a very long time! 5-7 typically. 9 was abnormal, but he grew 1" that last year.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanteDressageNerd

Well thank you  That picture Donna posted is actually from July, she's on my facebook because she bred Dante and his previous owners like to keep track of how he's doing. I am glad to know whose had him, he actually grew up on a farm with cows, chickens and kids.

That's pretty neat. I was told arabians and part arabs keep growing for a while. The trainer I bought Dante from as a 4 coming 5yr old said not to be surprised if he grew until 6 or 7. But at 9 growing another inch is pretty crazy! It's cool but definitely unusual. How tall did he finish out?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Don't mean to double post but I have the day off tomorrow and I was stalking my horse's full brother because I do that. They look so much a like, granted I think KC is prettier. It's funny because my old eventer was named Kahlua and Cream.

He's a little taller than Dante, just over 16h. He's the older brother. KC has more bone than Dante, they're totally different types of movers. KC and Dante are the only two babies their mom had. But I like Dante, he's an @ss but he's mine and I love him. I think it makes him a better dressage horse lol. 

https://websta.me/n/kahluancreamm

I'm also excited because I THINK I'm finally pulling out of my depression! I'm SO excited about that, I forgot what it felt like to freaking believe in myself! Goodness gracious me, it's exciting! I don't feel seeped in self loathing under piles of misery! This is incredible, I can cope with life! I feel free! I hope it lasts a while! :loveshower: 

Dante also untied my shoe lace and sees the chiropractor tomorrow.


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## Tazzie

Thanks! I definitely think I have a cool job  I didn't know a thing about isolating RNA before I started here, but I've certainly learned! And my lab is awesome!

His brother is so handsome! And 16h?? Dang!

I saw the picture of Dante too! I may have gone looking to see if you had made the wall of offspring :lol: That's awesome you have his old owner on Facebook! I have Izzie's too, but she's always trying to sell me stuff...

I'm glad you're feeling happier!! You deserve to be happy  And yay Dante!! He will feel so much better!


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## Dehda01

Gunny is 16.2h now, just shy 16.3. He is a NSH. When he is fully and perfectly in shape I can get him to stick 16.3h. But he hasn't been my priority to ride this winter, so he sits. He is a horse that if you can't focus 100% and ride him consistently, it isn't fun or safe to dabble with him. So I will pick him back up this spring when I have the time and patience to do so.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanteDressageNerd

You do have a cool job!! I hope I can get a cool job one day too! And that's true everywhere from what I understand, schooling or college provides a good base but all the rest of the stuff you need to know, you learn on the job!

Dante's almost 16h but not as big as KC, his body is a lot more refined too. The movement is totally different, part of it is training but even naturally totally different types of horses which is interesting because they look pretty similar. Dante has a lot more lift, reach and motion through his shoulders and a lot more jump behind. KC is naturally more uphill in canter but doesn't have the jump behind or lift in the shoulders. But they told me when they bought Dante he wouldn't do well in western or english pleasure. The trainer said she wouldn't sell him to a western home because of how he moves and I think he'd have popped a screw and blown up and reared up on top of someone. I've watched a lot of western pleasure and HUS training when I was younger and lived in Oregon/Washington state because I mostly boarded at barn where that's what people did. He would have popped a screw, he done something bad if someone tried to condense his movement like that. I know him well :/ When I sticked Dante on level ground with a leveler he sticked 15.3 1/2h and 16h if he rounds his back. 

That's a tall NSH! I've seen some that were taller but rarely over 16.1h but I can imagine. Saddlebreds and arabians can be pretty particular. They have to be unique or tricky that way 

I rode Dante bareback before the chiropractor saw him, he couldn't bend right. I lunged him before to see how he was doing and he did not slip out from under himself (yay) but even on the lunge line he couldn't. But the chiropractor found a rib and C7 on the right which was why he was lacking the range of motion. So I'm SO glad the chiropractor got to see him and I get adjusted tomorrow. He looked at me and was like Cassie you're a mess. A friend at the barn asked what I was going to ask, do you mean mentally or physically because it really could mean both ways. He laughed (he's known me for years) and was like well physically, that's the safe answer. He said he could tell I have hip and knee problems just from standing. I also have a tendency to cross my legs when I stand which is VERY common in women who has a lot of hip, knee or back pain. My whole lower body is a mess, collapsed arches, ankles, knees, hips, and degenerative disk in my lower back. But he explained the issues with my hip is actually tendinosis, not tendonitis because it's chronic and "heals" but that tendon is basically built up scar tissue. I've injured and attempted rehab 3x. Last time is why it's chronic. I think I could have healed after the 2nd but I was rushed through rehab way too fast and they kept pushing me to stride which literally I can't stride out anymore when I run. I used to run a 23 something minute 3 mi, after the 1st a 25 something, the 2nd a 27 something and after the 3rd I honestly think if I tried to run 3 miles I wouldn't be able to walk for hours which is WHY I'm not serving anymore. There is no way I could ever carry an 80lb pack, even conditioned for even 3 miles again. I hiked 8 miles with no weight and I made it from will power but I was in a lot of pain. It kinda crushed me inside because I was like oh yeah, I got this. 8 mile hike piece of cake and my body showed me that what my mind though to be true wasn't true anymore.

The other thing that was fun in the military was explain how on my first bout with tendonitis that I thought I recovered, planned a 3 mi run, got half way through, I was holding my hand over the tendon to keep running and eventually I physically could not lift my leg to walk. I held the fence and drug my leg behind me to get back home. Drank a ton or water and popped some anti-inflammatories and by some I mean normal for military which is a lot. But then someone tried to tell me I was feigning injury because I was a female lol.

Also had a discussion on why so many guy are intimidated by strong, independent and intelligent women and why they prefer co-dependent women which was pretty interesting. Not saying all but we were of the opinion a guy secure enough in himself to be with a woman who believes in herself is a rarity. I know a certain guy was very insecure around me because I was pretty close to as smart as he was, he didn't like that. I think he liked being the voice of reason, being the wise one that people rely on, the smarter one and when I wasn't someone that "needed" him, I think that was part of why he was so insecure. I don't think he liked unintelligent women but I think it got under his skin that I was as smart as he was. I don't think he'd had that happen very often.


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## Tazzie

I definitely didn't have the schooling for my job lol my degree is actually Animal Science. Not even close to what I do!

Glad he got fixed! I bet he feels a whole lot better now! And hopefully you feel better too! None of that sounds fun at all!!

And there are some out there that are secure enough to have an outspoken, smart woman  I'm a pretty willful person, and Nick has stuck with me throughout it all! So they are out there!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Wow! Quite different but it's still science and biology type work right? That's similar enough  lol But that's reality right? You go to school for one thing and end up doing something entirely different lol. Maybe I should get a math degree. Computer science is not my favorite thing but the pay is good and I was told the first 2 years are the toughest and I just gotta get through it. If it's like math maybe it'll grow on me once I understand it better. I also need to figure out how to learn it because I'm at the basics and I think that's part of why I'm so frustrated, I don't know enough to know how to fix it, if that makes sense. And it always takes me 10x longer than other people to learn things because I feel like I have to take in at least 10x more information because I'm SO SO SO detail oriented. It was the same with riding, it took me way longer to figure out the dressage thing than other people. It was SLOW but after I figured out quite a bit and could problem solve I improved really fast and am very sensitive and acute.

Oh yes! I think he does! He also got his EPM meds yesterday. I don't think he was impressed but I put it in his grain and he cleaned it up! He really likes our chiropractor (we use the same one). And yes I feel a lot better too!! 

I'm sure you are!! I think a lot horse women are strong, independent ladies! There has to be good ones out there. And to be fair my guys friends in the Marines were great guys who were always respectful and actually liked women who wanted to be equal or were passionate. I've just dated some kinda awful people. I thought they were really great guys at first but the true colors have a way of leaking out eventually and honestly I think one in particular resented me for my independent thought and I didn't always agree with him. I was never rude or demeaning, I just wasn't an ego stroker. I was into being real and honest but then "I made them uncomfortable." But hey water under the bridge, I'm so glad those guys are out of my life. They're miserable, not well adjusted people and not worth and ounce of effort. And I don't tell them how hot and handsome and smart, wonderful and perfect they are. It's not natural to me. Once in a while but not often. I don't like being complimented often either, just once in a while because then it means something isn't just said to be said. When I compliment, I want to really mean it.

But good news. I went to my psychologist today and basically demanded I needed to be on meds. I may be a stubborn mule but I know when it's getting to a point I can't just "tough" it out. I also share this because I think mental illness is something people don't talk about and I think it's important to understand, so we know what's happening to those closest to us or ourselves. I have bipolar type II so I'm not totally dysfunction, some people are but everyone experiences it differently. Winston Churchill, very likely Teddy Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln and Robin Williams had bipolar disorder. I'm not bad to live with but the last depression cycle got pretty ugly like I had a night I literally couldn't function. No specifics but depression is a serious illness and I resent people who say they have it for attention but people who have it. It really affects your outlook and it isn't a willpower issue. You get tired of fighting 24/7, it beats you down pretty hard. Day after day, week after week you get burnt out fighting it. Show a smile and make people laugh through the day and fall apart at home. It's basically living in a body that wants to live and mind that wants to die. So hopefully we can do something about it, so I can get through school and graduate. She also said Aspergers is a good possibility of what is going on, not a confirmed diagnosis but she thought it made sense. It was also suggested the aspergers may kind of balance out bipolar disorder because it's sucha concrete/logical way to view the world. I'm just into raising awareness on mental health because it affects a good number of people and there are many people (some I've met) and have told me mental illness is just in people's heads, they make it up, it isn't real. But MRI scans show otherwise.


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## Tazzie

Somewhat. I never took any classes at the cellular level, so it's kind of cool this job and my previous job depend on stuff that small. Definitely been a learn as you go, but it is true. College is great, and teaches you the basics. But once you hit the real world it can be very different than what you were taught! Computer science sounds like it could be fun. One of my best friends is in the industry, and she enjoys it! I'm sure the pay is good, but would you be happy doing it? My original major was pre-pharmacy. Pay would have been great, but I realized I would have been miserable! So a career change it was!

I'm glad you guys are both feeling better! Yucky about the meds for him, but I know he'll feel a lot better! That's awesome you guys use the same one! I was joking with my husband I wished Izzie's chiro did people too! He's SO good!

I hear that too! Compliments should mean something, not just be said because "you have to." And yeah, I haven't met many horse people that weren't strong willed, independent, passionate women. My husband just calls us horse people, and that's what you should expect from horse people lol I'm glad those men are gone! You'll find someone much better (if/when you decide to look!)

That's great news you get to start on meds! I hope you start feeling a lot better! I don't always understand how people are feeling, but I do know that mental illness is a very real thing. Some of my best friends have various sorts, and I just support them where I can. I'm glad you're spreading awareness on them


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## DanteDressageNerd

Makes sense to me, so I guess you got a run through on how detailed and intricate your work needed to be and to isolate information. That sounds like it was a valuable and interesting learning experience! 

I'm with you on the yucky part, he spit some in my hair and I was like dude that is $200 a tube we can not afford any of it getting spit out so I put it all in his grain and he cleaned it up. I've changed majors too, I was originally doing business/administration and international studies with an emphasis on economics but computer science pays better and fits my personality better. I think I'll like it once I get the hang of it, it's just hard to get into. It's like a cross between math, learning a new language and engineering. It's HARD. And I don't get "normal" people, I generally prefer to work with men, men make sense and are usually consistent and don't take things SO out of perspective and SO SO personally. I treat everyone with basic kindness, courtesy and respect and I'm honestly just used to working with men and things being logical and making sense. That was actually how a Lady at the barn convinced me to go into Computer science, she said in business and marketing I wouldn't be happy because I'm honestly the worst liar most people have ever seen, it's embarrassingly bad and I just can't make up rumors or screw people over to get ahead. That just isn't me. I want to do my job and know I'm doing a good job, I want to be able to succeed and not be so thoroughly confused by the social system and having to learn how to pull strings. There's a lot of "normal" humany social stuff I just don't understand (aspergers) and it's really frustrating because other people understand instinctually...so that's why I'm going into computer science lol.

Exactly!! If they're said all the time they lose meaning but when they're said once in a while, it is special because it means something. Precisely horse people and women are just passionate, independent and strong willed for better or worse, a lot of us are stubborn as they come!

Thank you and I'm glad you understand and I'm not glad your friends are dealing with mental illness but that it increases awareness. Support is really all you can do, I can't speak for everybody but I know for myself I tend to want to reach out but at the same time be totally isolated depending. On the hypomanic side I'm more like you're wonderful, I'm wonderful, we're all wonderful and I have a really inflated sense of self and belief in my abilities. I'm logical enough to stay grounded but your brain is like the circuits were sent into over drive and I have to try REALLY REALLY hard to hold myself back, slow down and breathe to form simple sentences. It's hard because otherwise I skip over words because my brain is going so fast and I can't cope with pressure like that. It's like a shock to my system and I shut down. People usually like me that way because it kinda takes away your inhibitions and youre really friendly. I'm still weird about touch, I don't like being touched unless I want to be but it makes you more friendly and makes you say the things you hold back and can make you kinda crazy, like I was convinced I could explain and prove how subatomic particles can hold a memory and how they may hold within them evidences of parallel universes :lol: I couldn't but I thought I could. It makes you think in unconventional ways I guess. It's complicated and I'm not explaining it well. Basically your brain plays tricks on you and it's really hard to appear normal and stay functional like that because you're just everywhere at once and your brain jumps from thought to thought so quickly. It's exhausting, your body is exhausted but your brain is switched on into over drive so you dont' feel like you have to sleep.

But I rode Dante today. He was such an ss, he is an ss but he tried to rear and bucked a few times which he hasn't in a LONG time. It was a pretty light bareback ride. I think the medication is affecting him because he just doesn't feel like the same horse, he doesn't feel like he can coordinate his body correctly and that's why he's so hard. I literally just wanted him to do basics and bend and when I finally got him to use himself correctly his hind end slipped out from under him and I got off. Poor guy :sad:

But pictures of Dante as a 2yr old to now and then Dante and Sporty. My two horse loves. They're both such jerks, I'm not at all surprised they get along so well. And then I wonder what it says about me that these two are my absolute favorite horses. Sporty's by far the hardest horse I've ever ridden, he's like trying to ride a cat.


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## Tazzie

Pretty much! And I learn new things pretty often, which I enjoy 

I'm glad you're going into it then! It sounds like it'll be perfect, once you get through all of this school stuff!

I followed you lol no worries! I can really only imagine how tough it has to be though when you're brain is going every which way. Though, I bet it was amusing listening to you try and explain subatomic particles hold memory and have memory of a parallel universe! LOL

Poor guy  Did the vet say how long it would take for him to start feeling better? I hope it's not super lengthy!

Aww, 2 year old Dante! He was a cutie pie! Though, he still is :lol: and the hard ones are the ones that teach you more, so I understand why you love the two of them like you do


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## DanteDressageNerd

That's awesome!! I think to enjoy a job long term it has to offer you room to grow and build your skills towards development and feeling like you're making some kind of difference everyday. That the job isn't aimless but meaningful.

Thanks. I REALLY hope so! Job security is a big one for me with Dante and making sure 

lol it was. I have a good friend who has her PHD in theoretical physics and thought it was an interesting theory but I definitely couldn't work out the math or anywhere near to prove something like that lol. Just being crazy. When you're manic your brain just makes you believe ridiculous things, some of the things it comes up with are gold but a lot of it is utterly ridiculous. It's hard to describe when you're not in that state of mind because you kinda "forget" in a way but I remember being utterly convinced I could fly but knew logically that wasn't true but my brain was convinced so I ran to my room and locked myself in. Sometimes it's scary. It makes you a lot more impulsive, I can control myself but if you know what to look for it's pretty obvious because I shake if I'm sat still and I talk super fast and often times will skip over words or get caught in a loop and not realize it. It's exciting but not fun. But I was told I'm lucky the aspergers probably balances it out so I have a logical base and dont get too carried away or out of touch with reality. For example a lot of people with bipolar tend to be a little "too friendly" if you get my meaning and I'm so anti over familiarity and get really upset about touch, especially from the opposite sex. Unless it's someone I really like and we've already established some kind of commitment to each other. A guy friend of mine who is familiar with aspergers said well that explains pretty much everything about you and I was like yep. He said knowing that about myself will probably help me out a lot in relationships just so a potential partner understand why I do some of the odd things I do or say some of the inappropriate or inconsiderate stuff I do and know it's not personal. He also explained that guys see something like me as a conquest and so the ones who would pursue me are going to be the ones who are good manipulators and better at the game than average so they commit to the point of winning. 

The vet just said it may get worse before it gets better but didn't give any specifics as every horse is different. He was much better today, didnt slip out from under himself once but I think it has affected his muscle recovery and that may be apart of why he's being so tricky.

Absolutely. I think that's why I love them so much. I think I need that love-hate relationship for some reason. It's not healthy. Dante is not ANYWHERE near as frustrating as Sporty but with Dante some rides makes me want to rip my hair out because he can be so belligerent without any practical reason. Like when he was a baby I was closing out a ride, he was on a loose rein. I asked him to halt, he reared straight up and danced around in a circle on his back legs and busted my lip open. I really thought he was going to flip over on top of me but he's an @ss. I love him to pieces but I won't deny what he is.

I rode Dante today in a saddle and he was such a brat. He didn't slip out once but he was just explosive, not cooperative and a brat. I was able to walk-trot-canter on a loose rein with him seeking the bit and ride circles, etc on the buckle but then he got a wild hair and exploded, so we galloped several laps both directions then I had him counter canter to wear him out. 10m counter canter circles were actually really good. And I got some good work from him, did the bow tie exercise and that really helped and once he started listening and being cooperative and not exploding or bucking. He bucked quite a few times and not little bucks. He stopped when I literally just had enough and got after him, then he was like oh sht!! And that was where I did the 10m counter canter circles and bow tie exercise and really made him work. It literally took everything I had to ride him tonight, I couldn't even be a little off in timing or he immediately was like I take off and will not listen to you. It took a lot, I had to be quite firm tonight, it took a lot of riding through exercises and being pretty tactful in negotiations. Then I gave him a massage and he REALLY needed that. His muscles were pretty tight which may be part of it. And I also think it's because the medication is affecting muscle recovery and function :/ But he's getting a full body massage now at least once a week, I can't be lazy about this. Tomorrow he will have the day off but I should probably massage him again if I have time.


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## tinyliny

do you and Dante get to go out on hacks from time to time?


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## DanteDressageNerd

I used to when the weather was better and I was in NC but the winter and where I'm at makes hacks difficult. I'd have to haul somewhere and I don't own a trailer. But I have days where the rides are light or he'll lunge over polls and cavaletti which he enjoys. But hacking around where I am would require hauling out somewhere and the weather hasn't been great for outdoor riding until today when I rode in the outdoor arena. He's one of those horses that will push his limits to the max until he finds that limit. You can't be aggressive with him but firm with him and redirect his energy. Basically saying hey this is what I want and he'll throw his tantrums but if you're just consistent, patient and ride it out he'll listen, you just have to be on it timing wise. The less you expect from him the worse he gets when he's like that because it's not an issue of this is unfair or I don't like this, it's him testing boundaries, willful youngster thing. I sometimes joke Spirit would have been a more suiting name. He's very willful, very smart and belligerent. 

I love this horse very much but I keep telling him he should be counting his lucky stars he's with me. One of my friends who is a trainer describes him as a professionals ride but not a professionals talent and I agree with her. He's fine to put other people on once in a while but day in-day out, I think it would go downhill pretty fast. If given the opportunity, he'll take it.


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## Tazzie

Yikes, that sounds scary! I'm glad you're going on meds then to help even it out! I couldn't imagine my brain telling me I could fly!

Oh Dante! Bratty days are the worse! Glad he figured it out in the end and you got some good work! Hopefully the weather keeps getting nice so you all can ride outside more!


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## DanteDressageNerd

It is but you learn to cope. I'm very logical so when I have these delusions I KNOW they're delusions. I know they aren't true because it's illogical and unreasonable. It's weird. I don't know how to describe it but will power MATTERS, it wont' control what's going on but it helps with managing it. For example I told someone I worked for once and she didn't believe me at all. She was like I know people with bipolar, you don't have it and I was like yeah I do. She couldn't believe it because I'm very good at this is work, I'm at work and pushing things to the side and then when I'm on my own time it can be full force. So at work, you can still "see" it if you know but it's not obvious. More oh she's eccentric or odd. 

He's something. I don't know what is going on with him. I talked to the people at the barn who are good handlers and good people about him and he's been a TOTAL jerk to them. He's a jerk to other horses, so he gets turned out on his own (he has half an acre to himself). He grew up in a herd, so it's not like he doesn't understand how that works. He hit someone over the head with his head, totally uncalled for. Tried to kick a girl who works there. Like she was cleaning his hooves and he picked up his back foot and she smacked him and he turned his whole butt to her and tried to kick her, so she got out of there. He's a jerk. I've worked with him on the ground, he knows the rules and how to behave and most of the time he's good but I don't trust him. He knows how to behave, he hasn't been spoiled that way. I don't knock him around ever but he knows. They want to turn him out with Sporty and have his butt whooped but I think that'd be a very bad idea. Some horses are just jerks, most of the horses I've trained or have ridden were not jerks. They were neurotic or had quirks or were hyper sensitive or a little odd or whatever. Sporty, Dante, and Ivan are the only ones I'd really consider just plain jerks. But Sporty would care if he hurt you, he would be concerned. Dante or Ivan wouldn't care. There was a paint mare I rode for a while who could be a brat but she wasn't a jerk, just had an attitude. I've ridden probably 80 or 90 horses in the last 6-7 years. The ones I rode/worked with regularly didn't have these issues. I rode 3-5 a day.

To me it's frustrating because if something ever happened to me I'm almost entirely certain he's a horse that would get passed around and eventually go to auction. He's talented but you have to be very skilled to make him look nice. He takes a lot to ride and he's not going to take care of the rider. He is not a reliable trail type, it stresses him out even with a confident-calm horse. He's fine if you're lax with him sometimes but if you're always lax he takes major advantage and is not longer respectful. If he's not expected to toe the line he'll basically do as he pleases. And if a rider lets him do as he pleases little by little he gets worse until it kinda gets dangerous before he'll be respectful. But you can't get after him too much either or he acts out very aggressively and it gets no where. You can correct him, you can redirect his efforts but it's frustrating. I want to rip my hair out. I make sure he sees chiropractor regularly, he's seen the vet about any potential issues, we're treating the EPM, I massage him fairly regularly. I let this go 2-3wks but I'm going back to once a week. He is turned out every day for at least 6-7hrs. We are not unreasonable with him. I've had his saddle fitted to him. I stretch him after every ride and do some before a ride. And he's very loving, in your pocket with me but mostly pins his ears and is pretty rude to other people. Maybe he needs to be turned out with Sporty and learn some manners and humility *shrugs* and I'll have the vet on call.


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## Tazzie

Yikes! I would not be capable to handle a horse like that, nor would I want to at this point (I've become a bit of a chicken with horses that aren't Izzie or my close friend's horses). I have no doubt in your handling with him, and what I see you post you are neither super lax or abusive. I feel for the people who were handling him though and got hit or almost kicked!

I can absolutely see how he could be a horse that would be passed around and wind up in auction. Hopefully nothing happens to you! And I know you keep everything up to date on him and have him checked over. He sounds like a very difficult horse in general to understand.


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## DanteDressageNerd

He just needs a special kind of person and I asked for it because I said a few years ago and I quote, "I'll probably get that horse that no one can sell and nobody wants that needs a special mommy." I ALWAYS feel my strongest bonds with the special cookies.

I think you'd be capable but I TOTALLY get why, I wouldn't have him if I had a family or kids. DEFINITELY not worth the risk. and what point is it worth it? But thanks I hope I'm around for him too! You just never know. He's really NOT that bad but he's unpredictable which is IMO is worse than if he were consistent. And honestly it kinda makes me want to cry (I cry when I'm frustrated) because I don't want him to be that horse. That's like Sporty, my trainer has owned him since he was 4 (he's 20) and she's kept him because they had such a bond and she took him with her from the UK because she knew he'd be abused and eventually put down. I'm the only person she has asked to ride him, we were a good team considering. Dante is MUCH more ridable than Sporty but he's a similar kind of horse. I kinda knew to an extent when I bought him because of certain personality quirks but I thought oh he's a baby and he's so green. I don't think the trainer tricked me at all, she's a VERY good and skilled horsewoman who trained one of my friend for years and has a very solid-honorable reputation. She didn't work with him very much, she told me when I tried him he hadn't been worked a lot but she got him going again that week. He wasn't advertised when I bought him. But that is his personality, I tried looking for a reason but that is who he is. He's usually VERY good to me, he's usually good. He loves me, he nickers at me when he hears my voice, he LOVES nose kisses and cuddles from me. 9 times out of 10 he'd never do anything to hurt me but he's kicked me twice (out of the blue and uncalled for). I think he's a one person kind of horse and that's not a glorified thing but I think that's how it is and I need to stay around to take care of him and keep him working. 

He's not bad to handle, he's just whatever he is. If he loves you, he loves you but he's a jerk. He is talented, he LOVES his job when he's on it which is often enough he literally feels like he is in his elements in more collected type work. It feels like what it feels like on an event horse when they're just in their element and they know they love their job. A true-through collected trot to a lengthening on him feels like the most amazing thing in the world to me. And I love Dante, he is my baby. We have a super tight bond but he needs more friends than me. He LOVES the vet and chiropractor and my trainers but that is about it. He pins his ears and acts threatening towards everyone else which I don't get. I know every person who has had him, he has not been mistreated or spoiled.

P.S. I had a few margaritas with my parents and sister, so I am affected. I finally told her I'm 98% sure I have aspergers in private. It was hard for me to tell her because her minor is psychology, her bf has it (he's a genius, we get along really well but his IQ is over 180) super cool guy. And she is SUPER familiar with it and she was really supportive. I asked her to look back on our childhood and I think it explains a lot, she agreed. And said it's really good for me to know now, especially down the line going into a relationship so they understand what's going on when I literally just don't understand the social construct and the number of years it's taken me to understand sarcasm and not take everything so literally. I'm just really glad she's so supportive because honestly she's my rock who has helped me through SO SO much. The social naivety is a BIG one. And my dad said in business they wanted either himself or my sister to look out for me because of the social nativity. I can pick up on things and I'm super logical but again it's LOGIC based which has a fallacy rate.


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## whisperbaby22

I too have a horse that nobody else could handle. For different reasons of course, but in my will I have instructions and money set aside.


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## Tazzie

Lol, so you kind of asked for it!

Yeah, kids and hubby are why I wouldn't hop on one like him. And I would never figure a trainer would lead you on like that. Not when he is that tough. Probably hadn't come out yet since he was so green under saddle.

Picky pony! Part of his personality though! Though, I know you didn't intend to make him a one person horse. Tough if something were to happen.

That's good you told your sister! I'm sure it felt good to tell someone! And margaritas sure are good to help ease you a bit


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## DanteDressageNerd

I can well imagine. Some horses are just special! I might need to put something in my will about him. I couldn't rest in peace knowing he wasn't okay.

I did. I really did. I even had my friend come with me to look at horses to save me from myself because I ALWAYS want to fix them if I know I can. I'm drawn to them like a magnet, it's a problem. If I had been in my area and I was looking, oh good Lord I hate to know what would have been offered to me and I'd be like oh yes! I can do fix him/her!! I like to think I've gotten smarter but I'm not sure I have. Dante doesn't need fixing, I just don't think he's going to be "fixed" just me getting smarter and more skilled about how to ride and handle him. 

And no when they're that green you never really know their personality until they're more confident and strong. And for sure, I get it. Kids definitely change your perspective on thing, it makes your life a lot more valuable and important!

I don't think anyone really wants to make a one person kind of horse. I don't think it's anybodies fault, I think this is just who he is and he's not a bad horse. He's just opinionated, willful and obstinate which in a horse unfortunately are not considered virtues :lol:

The margaritas helped. I don't think I'd have told her otherwise because it's kinda personal but I needed to tell her.


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## Tazzie

Yeah, putting something in your will would probably be a good idea. We need to make one, but Izzie would mostly just stay as a pasture puff with our barn owner/friend. Unless my best friend has a farm by then. She would keep Izzie showing.

It's good you brought someone alone to make sure you didn't buy a horse that needed fixing! I agree though, Dante I don't think can be fixed. I know you'll get there though! You guys are already a great team!

And yup! We bought Izzie very young, so we had no clue what she would be like under saddle. Kids definitely change your entire perspective. I had a hard fast rule to never ride alone. Ever since kids and my accident, I will never ride alone ever.

Sadly, I know a lot of people that want to and are able to make a one person horse, and they are proud of it. I feel when you create you, all you did is disservice that horse. Forever is not a guarantee. Obviously, your situation is entirely different. That is who Dante is. You didn't create him to be a one person horse, but that is just who he is. He is very lucky to have you as his mommy!

And I understand  I'm glad you got it off of your chest!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I actually told my friend I was thinking of putting something in my will about Dante and she was like that's not a bad idea but why? And I said because I think he's the kind of horse that would get sold from home to home and eventually end up in an auction. And she was like I agree with you there. Then asked who I was going to give him to and I asked if she wanted him and she just busted out laughing like nope, not at all but if I'd make it work if it was a choice between him going to slaughter or giving him a home. She rides 2nd level and is a kind rider but he can be handful and you do need to be pretty strong to ride him well. I've asked if she'd like to ride him sometime and she said yes but when he's good lol. So I'll probably have her hop on, I like it when other people try him.

You bought Izzie as a weanling-yearling right? At that age you really don't know but I'm glad she ended up being a gem! And is such a perfect fit for you and your family! Absolutely makes sense to me, you have that much more to lose if something were to happen. Even if the chance is slim, at what point is it really worth it?

I know what you mean. I've ridden some horses people have tried to make "one person" horses and I usually do well on them, not always. Sometimes I have some ugly moments because I'll stress a point that hasn't been addressed then it gets better. But I agree 100% it does NOTHING for the horse to ride it if almost no one else can. I think someone could ride Dante and be fine but day after day it'd become a problem because the little stuff on him HAS to be addressed or it takes a lot to fix it and he'll "call your bluff" so to speak. But thank you. I feel lucky to have him and think he's lucky to have me too. He literally put his head on my arms and licked my face so I kinda had to buy him when I looked at him lol. He made me. I had NO intention of buying him, I didn't want an arab and he was too small and I wanted a mare lol. But this was my friend's trainer and she said I had to at least look and I wanted to ride so I did and bought him even though he was out of my price range.

We had a REALLY good ride. It started rough, I felt like I was being super strong and I am sore but it's only because he tried to pull me out of the saddle and throw his weight from side to side. I wasn't pulling back but I stayed firm and waited for him to let me ride him. Let me influence, I had to re-walk him through bending and stepping under with his inside hind. So leg yield, bending through his entire body and not making me hold him up. It took a LOT, we did a little accordion where I let him out and gather him back up in the warm up then addressed the issues and it probably wasn't pretty but then he finally let me ride him, finally allowed me to position him. So we did the bow tie exercise, then shoulder in, 10m circle at B haunches in both directions. we did simple changes, 10m counter canter circles, collected to lengthening but I could not-not pay attention or not ride for a second. He got to where he was in self carriage and the ride felt pretty effortless, the transition were phenomenal. We did halt to canter and walk to canters which felt effortless and he really rocked back and picked his shoulders up into those. Leg yield and shoulder in in the canter, tried to work on some straightness in canter. Lots of work there. Simple changes were good. Canter to halt was good. It was a pretty good ride, especially when I finally could just put my leg on and he'd bend through his entire body and leg yield without me having to walk him through each step and allowed me to ride collected trot into lengthened trot. He really rocked back and lifted through his shoulders so I'm pretty proud of him. I wish I had some video but nobody to video :/ one day we'll get some more. I had a hard time catching my breath after that ride (note to self need to do more cardio), he worked me hard lol. Totally worth it though. 

Dante is turning a sooty color, he's actually liver colored in some parts like his neck and shoulders. He was pretty loving today and also had a short massage.

I look at my pictures and I actually get why I still get asked if I'm in high school. It's kinda funny but kinda irritating in some respects lol. I guess I should enjoy it but I prefer to be looked at as serious, rather than people thinking I'm a kid. To me it's not really a compliment, it's kinda demeaning especially when they talk down to me like I'm a child. That is one thing that will set me off. I'm BIG on respect and basic manners. So I put them in line in a polite way or if they're that rude I'll be Dr House style sarcastic and see if they notice.

But I think he's pretty handsome. To me he has a regal appearance and he definitely has a presence to him. You notice him.


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## Tihannah

He looks fantastic! Reading your riding notes makes me wish you could put some time in the saddle on Tess.  Even though we progress, I still don't feel like I know enough to communicate effectively with her. Heck, I'm still trying to figure it out myself! You give me so much great advice and tips, but I still need to UNDERSTAND what I'm feeling in order to make it happen.

I have to replay a lot of things in my head and constantly remind myself to be conscious of everything I'm doing. I love to read how you work through these things with him and I'm really, really trying to reach this with Tess. You and Dante just inspire me to keep working hard at it, so thank you.


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## whisperbaby22

Great, glad he's feeling better.


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## Tazzie

Hopefully your friend takes him!

And yup! Izzie had just turned a year old when we bought her. We definitely lucked out 

Haha, he has a sweet side that just won you over  I'm glad you got him though!

That sounds like a fabulous ride!! I'm glad he worked well even if you had to be on him every step of the way!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. I hope someone would if something happened to me. She has a barn with a farm and I think she and him could potentially get along. But when he's super spooky and blowing up might be hard for her because that takes a lot. But thank you  I'm glad we had a good ride too, it was reassuring and let me know I actually do know what I'm doing. Sometimes I worry :lol:

You certainly did!! You got a really nice mare with an incredible temperament and gets along with your whole family  that's pretty amazing.

And yes he can be SO SO sweet, he's a total love for me. He nickers when he hears my voice or he pops his out and is like MOM!! OMG MOM!! It's me!!

Me too. I think being outside more and the massage work really helped and him getting used to being on the medicine. The vet said he may get worse before he gets better.

Thank you. He thinks he's fantastic :lol: but thank you I'm honored, I'd love to ride Tess  I'm glad to contribute or help where I can. I've made a lot of mistakes and had a lot of great opportunities too. I'm thankful for those opportunities because I couldn't share what I've learned if I hadn't done those things. I rode 3-5 horses a day, I went to bed crying many night because I'd get so frustrated with some horses. I've ridden so many different types of horses from re-training a saddleseat horse, OTTBs to re-training upper level dressage horses from borderline abusive training methods (they literally had NO sense of self carriage, they were held together and pushed into movements). I rehabbed a bunch of horses super hot sensitive, neurotic horses to dull, dumb and dead ones. Just a lot. I've ridden probably 80 or 90 horses in the last 6-7 years because I'll hop on whatever (I'm smarter now) but people also knew me in my area so I had a few horses I rode at different barns (before the Marines). And a lot of good guidance from a very good, experienced trainer who is able to articulate and explain. I wouldn't know anything I do if it weren't for her. She also invited me to go to Germany which was why I got to ride over there. Interesting experience. I mostly got to ride the ones that beginner riders rode and that's HARD but I ended up just stop trying to fix all the details and just ride the movements because how often do you get to ride a GP horse and get to practice tempi changes or canter piroettes or piaffe or passage? Anyways just saying blood, sweat and tears. I'd go to sleep crying SO many nights as a working student. I was convinced I sucked and was SO frustrated because I wanted to do well and never felt like I did. I started being a working student 7-8 years ago, kinda amazed how quickly time flies.

But Tina I think you and I learn in a very similar way. I'm very logical and hands on and it's REALLY hard for me to understand what is expected if I don't know how it should feel. That was something that was my road block for a while but you will always have certain road blocks and then suddenly have major break throughs. That's what is SO wonderful about dressage is you're never complete, you never know it all. You always stand to learn something. 

I added a few more pictures from today and then pictures of Dante from July to a few weeks ago. His canter has changed quite a bit but I have more trot ones and the differences are more distinct.


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## Tazzie

Haha, you know what you're doing alright  I don't think you all would be working together like you do if you didn't know what you were doing!

It really is  I followed my gut with her. I had some friends questioning my sanity since she went through some really awful stages conformation wise, but was glad when she grew out of it!

Aww! That is always the best! And I'm glad the riding outside and the massages are changing his temperament, if only a little bit!

The pictures are awesome! There really is a change! Pretty cool to see


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol thanks. I know I know something but at the same time I get frustrated with myself. He is what he is but at the end of the day it's my fault lol or sometimes it's not. They have off days too.

lol isn't that how it always goes though but hey you had faith and she ended up being perfect! Sometimes how "ugly" they are doesn't matter but what they move like, how they move and how they carry themselves. My trainer told me not to buy Dante because she said he'd never go past 3rd level but I knew she was wrong because of how he moved (he collected, he doesn't just get longer when engaged behind). Now I don't think anyone doubts he's capable of the upper levels.

Me too. I like riding outside when I can. More space and I love being outside, it feels too closed in inside. 

And thank you. I see a lot of change and stages of training. I like seeing it because it's so hard to show when most people see horses at the GP level or training level that they don't quite see or recognize all the pieces and stages inbetween. Or the idea that different horses have their own unique challenges or differences. I think people have this "picture" in their mind and don't realize all the steps and moments in takes to get to that "picture" of how it ought to be. Or some horses just aren't going to be that picture because that isn't how they go best.


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## Tazzie

It's not always your fault  he's a horse, and an opinionated one at that. Sometimes there just isn't much you can do!

I did! I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who had any faith :lol: Nick didn't know any better, so at least I wasn't hearing anything from anyone (my friends only told me after the fact they were concerned with how she was growing; but then she grew into herself and they breathed a sigh of relief lol). I'm glad you went with him! I do think you all can make it to the higher levels, and I'll be watching as you do it 

Inside is nice for when the weather doesn't want to cooperate! Only time we really get to ride inside is if we rent an arena, or we show inside. Otherwise, it's outside in an open field lol most of the time it is nice though!

Yup! It's tough looking at the higher levels and thinking "will I ever make it?" But it's fun to work your way up to them. And I love that you have been charting your progress! Fun for the rest of us watching you go


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## DanteDressageNerd

I keep thinking if I'm clever and skilled enough I can negotiate and be more tactful :lol: like I had to be pretty tactful last ride, strong and tactful. I guess not really that strong but to keep myself firm and let him wrestle himself when he throws his tantrums. 

lol well if you knew in your heart she'd turn out than screw their opinion lol. Sorry I'm still a marine at heart and in actual life swear like a sailor. But I'm glad Nick was on your side, sometimes you have to be the only one believing in your horse because even the experts can be wrong! Some faults aren't that awful if the horse uses itself well! For example a downhill horse can collect, depending on how their neck is shaped, how they use their hocks, etc. I've known GP horses who were downhill and awkward looking on the ground but you'd never know it watching them go! 

But thank you I appreciate the encouragement  I think we will. I think he has it mentally. He's opinionated but he wants to do it, he really puffs himself up when he really gets into it which is pretty funny because he's pretty full of himself but I think confidence is a good thing. He's so cool to ride when he wants to show off or has an audience, it cracks me up. Sometimes he tries to use it as an excuse to get tense and spicy but then sometimes he puffs up and is like I is super horse! I got this! It can be harder to ride (he's also pretty spooky, sharp and hard to get using himself correctly like that because he tenses and gets really up) but he feels fancy lol. How fancy he looks IDK but he feels fancy :lol: long-term will I think it will make him a better partner and competitor because those horses usually give more memorable performance or you notice them and they're more alive when they're trained and know what is asked, they are not dull or slow to react. I think changes will be easy for him, I think piaffe and passage will be relatively easy for him when we're there. We usually introduce half steps when they're confirmed 2nd level-developing 3rd, and we start introducing passage at 3rd-developing 4th, so next few years :lol:

I am NOT looking forward to introducing him to the double, we might introduce that next year. It's been a LONG LONG time since I've ridden in a double, so it'll be re-learning that and then him getting used to that will be interesting. And buying the double bridle and experimenting with all the bits, it's going to be expensive  But probably shouldn't get too ahead of myself either, we're showing 1st this year, schooling 2nd. But we introduce it at 3rd (that doesn't mean he'd be schooling in it all the time) we'd be getting familiar/used to it which he'll probably be schooling end of summer if all goes well but who knows *shrugs* there are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS set backs. But I'm going to try to stay positive, at least in this aspect of my life!!


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## Tazzie

I'm sure you're pretty darn good right now, though I understand wanting to be better!

Haha, I hear ya on that. I would have just turned her into a trail horse if the parts just didn't fit. She was here to stay, but I had a gut feeling she'd be something. Glad we could prove them wrong! I'm not a marine, and I still swear like a sailor, especially when I'm mad :lol: And exactly! Her neck is a bit short, and she is a bit downhill, but she does not move that way in the slightest. I've ridden some horses that are downhill and want to live on their forehand. She is not one of them, thank god!

You know you'll have to video the half steps and such since we will all be wanting to watch!! And I know the exact feeling your describing! I swear it feels like Izzie grows an entire hand as we hit the show ring. I just feel like I have a whole lot more horse when we enter! Hopefully one day you can video him doing it and see if it's as fancy as it feels!

Trust me, I know the feeling. Izzie is fussier with a metal bit, so it'll be a real treat putting her in a double. She goes best in a happy mouth with a copper roller. I would be excited to pick out a double (I want a rolled leather one so it won't look as big on her petite head), but the bits will be the problem. I'm hoping my trainer would be able to help and have an assortment of bits to try on her. Izzie is normally great, but she is VERY particular on what goes in her mouth. Single jointed bits cause her to flip out. Someone once told me to put one in and see. I said I'd hop off and they could be my guest because I know she will go up. Doesn't matter how light you are in the hand. She HATE single joints. And I haven't ridden in a double in... 10 years? More likely longer. It's been a long time for me as well. I will cry when we need to start thinking about that lol and Nick always tells me "we'll cross that bridge when we reach it" which it sounds like that's where you're at too! Hard not to think ahead when you have a horse that is already an opinionated animal to ride!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I'm always trying to get better and can be pretty critical but I've gotten better with age! I was a pretty awful perfectionist at one time. Still have hints of it but getting better. Today it was like I felt like there were things I did quite well and moments when I know I could have done more and gotten so much more movement and energy from Dante. Like in trot with going from shortened to lengthening, I should have bounced a little more in my seat sitting (with the motion and drawing the back up into the seat with the core and leg) and really drawn him up with my leg more on and I think I'd have gotten more expression and lift through his shoulders. What I got I think felt pretty correct but not as expressive as it could have been. If I was firmer in my upper body I think I could have gotten more oomph or engagement/power too lol. 

Dante was really good today, we warmed up pretty lightly. Two point, loose rein just asking for bend, flexing. When I do this I'll take inside rein, inside leg for more bend and just get him flexible through his body and reaching into the contact. Than as he becomes more flexible I'll add outside rein and support with the inside leg because then he gets inside leg for bend and outside rein for shoulder control/straightness. Consistent rhythm, big swooping figures of 8 walk, trot canter. Light stretching forward into the bit, some leg yielding. Just nice and light. Then I did some what I call accordion exercises of shortening my reins to not what I'd have for collection but a hair longer to get him really through and reaching with him being a little up and once he's there, letting him out to stretch, gather back up to kinda emphasize self carriage, lightness and him working off my position rather than my hand. Sometimes I think he rides too strong if I don't do this. But after that we had a really good ride, there are things I did quite well. Keeping my leg on, keeping him through, up and a nice kind of light, not a btv light. He came up quite a bit, kept activity in collected gaits but he could have had more activity though I tried. I'll do better next time. Could have had more jump in the canter but that was my fault for not emphasizing it and I really wanted him loose and fluid, if I compacted him a little more and used more leg and lifted more with my seat, core and leg I think he'd have had more jump but he felt very fluid and elastic. Leg yields and shoulder in helped get more jump, counter canter helped with straightness, throughnessa and connection. Did quite a bit of laterals walk, trot, canter. I actually got haunches in at canter, I was kinda surprised. I hadn't asked for it before and he was like well okay. Did a few counter canter circles, serpentines, leg yield and shoulder in in canter. All these exercises I did to get him to bend and flex properly, improve his engagement and get him to really connect into my outside rein and ride off my position more. Walk rhythm I restrained a little bit and he became more through and had a much better walk. I don't let him walk as big as he can or he can go a little lateral: quality over size. It kinda surprised me I could lift one seat bone or the other and he'd immediate go into shoulder in or haunches in and I thought with great power comes great responsibility, I need to be more particular if he's that's sensitive about it. Straightness can become more of an issue once they start getting very laterally flexible. But I will say he's MUCH straighter left after haunches in and straighter right after shoulder in. I think it all stems from his right hind stifle which is his weak spot.

I intend to when we get to that point! I just have no one to video me at the moment. And I hope I can get it on video, I hope it happens on a day someone can video lol that would be awesome than I can be shown yep Cass it's all in your head. And I'd be like yep riding, life, it's all in my head, good to go lol.

I entirely understand the bit particularity, I always use herm sprenger and french links. It's EXPENSIVE and take a while to find the right bits, I'd probably ask my trainers and maybe "rent" a few to try when the time comes. I have a rolled snaffle and I'll probably do the same with the double. I love the look on the more typey heads! It looks so nice. But it's going to be expensive. I choked when I saw how much the the weymouth is from herm sprenger, almost 300 dollars!! So rough estimate 450 for 2 bits, not including the bridle! So about 800-900 when all is said and done! I will be crying too! 

Thanks. It's hard not to think ahead, I've just wanted to campaign a horse for so long and just never had the money and now I can. I'm excited but nervous too. My dreams to make it to PSG atm. We'll see.

I'm also glad to hear you swear too and stuck to your guns on Izzy  you can work with a short neck but if it's set low and comes out low there is no hope which hers doesn't so a short neck you can work with. Dante's neck is very long, like his back plus a 1/3 of his butt and that poses it's own difficulties because it's so long he can contort it and used it improperly very easily. He's WAY WAY better than he used to be but getting behind was a big problem as it is with most arabians. Learning to sit really made the difference because when he gets behind I can add leg and half halt and he knows to still be soft and through but to come up and be straighter through the poll. Not perfect but better. Arabians offer unique issues in the bridle, that is for sure!


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## Tihannah

I LOVE my Herm Sprenger french link eggbutt and I think Tess does too. The other day when we had a good session, she had a mouth full of foam! Lol.

I wish I could get all those exercises in a session with Tess, but I'm just happy if I can keep her bending properly and on the bit!

I now have a camera with tripod, so I've been getting some decent video of our rides. I go back and critique myself and always see so many things that I need to fix, but it definitely helps!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Herm sprenger is wonderful. After using their bits I won't go back to anything else. I don't know how to describe the difference but there is a difference. But it sounds like Tessa really likes her bit too!

It takes a while to get there, as a rider gaining the coordination, timing and feel. And as a horse it's hard for them too to be that coordinated and stay balanced and have the strength to do it. It takes time.

Video is VERY helpful. You can take many lessons but the video really helps connect what they're seeing and saying to what you're doing. Sometimes you don't feel or realize you're doing something they say you're doing. I agree it's helpful stuff!


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## Tazzie

Yay for a great ride! Even if it may have been better, it still sounded like a good one overall!

I highly doubt it's all in your head! I'm sure you guys are looking just as fabulous as it sounds! 

I keep going back and forth about trying the Herm Sprenger bits. I broke her in a french link, and she used to love it. But then suddenly decided to hate it. Had her teeth checked, and they were fine, and ruled everything else we could. It's like she loves bits for a while, then promptly decides to hate it. We tried the comfort snaffle from Myler, and she curled her head and neck. That was an immediate no (even with barely any contact she would curl). Maybe I'll look at Equine Affaire in April and discuss it with Nick. Ideally we would find a bit I could use with the double bridle so the transition isn't quite as stark as it will be right now. Just, when you've tried a ton of different bits from everyone giving you suggestions, you start to not want to spend the money anymore :lol:

I know how hard it is not to think ahead, trust me! I'm just glad I have a husband that brings me back to reality :lol:

Haha, yeah, I'm awful. We try not to swear around the kids, but other than that, yeah... Her neck is definitely not set too low, which does help out a lot! They sure do! I can only imagine how tricky Dante can be with his long neck!


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## DanteDressageNerd

It was a productive ride which I'm grateful for. I'm also scheduling some lessons, I took a break because Dante was slipping out from underneath himself and wanted to be sure he was back where he needed to be mentally physically. The trainer who is here in MO said she thought the only thing that could get in Dante's way is his mental attitude but as long as we can keep him wanting to do it and happy mentally we should have no problems developing him. I never think it's that he doesn't want to do it but that he's like I'm not sure I respect you and I'm not sure I feel like listening.

I sure hope we look as good as it feels. Feel can be misleading though. Sometimes it feels great and isn't and sometimes it feels lousy and is awesome, so *shrugs* I'm sure he looked fine and was going well, just maybe not stellar lol. I'm a realist :lol: 

It's whatever suits your horse and makes her happy *shrugs* Dante likes the herm sprenger bits though I think finding the right bradoon won't be an issue but the weymouth or curb might be. I'm guessing a short shank low-mid port but I'll ask my trainers what they'd think or maybe I'll be able to try someone's double first *shrugs* 

lol fortunately/unfortunately I don't really have anyone to ground me :happydance: lol but I'm glad you have Nick to help you with that and keep you level 

lol I'm sure that will be my struggle too one day if I ever get to have children. Hard to not let the habits and mouth surface sometimes, especially when frustrated I'm sure. And no Izzy looks like she has a good neck.

And yes his neck is quite long. Just a few shots to show it. My trainer (the on in Fl) said it was the first thing she noticed about him, my god he has a long neck lol. When he's up it's not quite as obvious but he can contort his body in a good variety of ways, his neck I'll just say it took FOREVER to get him to understand bit contact, how to use his neck and not get so behind. I think developing collection really helped him, he's gotten a lot better. Half halting through the core is getting him to sit more is the only thing that really bring him up. He still gets a hair behind but so what if he's using the rest of his body correctly and is responding to the aids correctly and using himself well?

I also had a really good talk with my math professor. Was nice to have an adult conversation, it's been a long time. I miss discussions and just talking to people, not general people but interesting people with thoughts, ideas and perspectives, opinions and life experience. I used to have talks like that all the time in the Marine Corps and there were so many interesting people to talk to from all walks of life and now I have almost no one to talk to. It's sad. I have friends but they all live away from me lol. Or I'll listen to the college student talk and I feel like this bitter old woman soiled with life experience.


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## Tazzie

The more you talk about it, the more he sounds like a mare :lol: A lesson sounds fun though! And I'm sure if he's acting off your trainer won't push you too far.

Oh I know! Sometimes I feel we killed it, then I see video and go "what was I thinking??" Funny how that is!

I've been toying with a Herm Sprenger, just the cost stops me. And no guarantee Izzie would like it. She's ok with her current bit, but I feel she could be a lot better. I just want her happy and thinking instead of messing with the bit. I hope you can try a double before you start buying bits and such! I know it would be a relief to try some stuff before buying them!

It can be frustrating sometimes :lol: but he keeps me out of trouble in the long run!

It's very hard sometimes! We slip up sometimes, but we do work at it! And kids are great  Frustrating sometimes, but worth it. I wish Izzie's neck was just a touch longer, but it's manageable. Dante's though is long, holy smokes! I usually just look at the whole horse, but dang that neck!

Yeah, as long as he's working correctly, I don't think it's that big of a deal. I think he looks nice!

Yay for having adult conversation! It's very important for good mental health!


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## DanteDressageNerd

He is both my trainers call him a princess. My vet calls him primaDante and almost everyone else calls him a diva. He rides like a mare :lol: with him acting off it's a fine line, it's like dude get over yourself but at the same time in a tactful way or he just goes into you can't make me and puts his energy into fighting. So it's really just being consistent and being like no, you don't get to do whatever you want and then a lot of the times your timing has to be spot on or he will just be like nope, F you. You don't know what you're doing. And I'd be like yes I am leading you and when he realizes I'm in charge he's good. It's just funny because that has to be re-established most rides and I'm kinda like last ride was the same thing, nothing has changed. And it can be established really quickly or draw out depending on the day. He just has a mind of his own and I can't fault him for it. I'm pretty willful and independent myself. He's not a horse you could ever get after or make do anything, I'm convinced he'd rear up and flip over on someone if they did that or buck them off into the rafters. He'll express his opinion with me but I never feel in danger on him.

Exactly! That's how I feel a lot of time, especially sitting his trot he's very bouncy or up and down bouncy. Literally over the summer I rode 2 horses over 16.2h, both warmbloods with huge suspension movement and they were smoother/easier to sit than he is. I was like really Dante? Really? Why are you so bouncy? And my friends said it's because he moves so up and down and his back is so short. It's gotten better though. His canter is A LOT better than it used to be, it used to feel like you were getting tossed around on spin cycle it threw you around so much. When I look at his canter I see why, he jumps a lot behind and really moves his back. So I feel like I'm sitting nicely/quietly and I know I have a decent sitting trot but it doesn't look as quiet as it feels. And that frustrates me but I've always been told my seat looks louder than it actually is because when I used to ride a lot people would see me ride and then ride what I was riding and would have NO idea the horse was as sharp or hot or sensitive as it was and then they were like oh you are a good rider. And I was like thank you? I think? I'm effective but not a particularly pretty rider. I would never show my equitation for emulation lol. It's not my strength.

lol and I'm sure you keep him out of trouble. If you're frustrated with each other enough but still love each other enough to be frustrated, I'd say that's a healthy relationship 

lol you're only human. And I love kids, so I really admire that you have the family and kids thing. It's not something I'm sure I'll get to have but it makes me smile when I see other people who have it!

And yes I know :lol: he has some serious neck length. It's ridiculous. When he's up I don't think it's so bad but I think if Izzy and Dante shared they could come out with the perfect length of neck lol. 

Absolutely healthy! I also had a long conversation with my father which I think I needed. I just need mental stimulation all the time or I kinda shut down and close off.


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## Tazzie

Oh Dante :lol: I like the primaDante, that's hilarious! I know that feeling so well. If I get after Izzie too hard (in her opinion) we spend our ride fighting. Definitely all about riding with tact with these guys! Hopefully he never decides to try rearing or bucking like that with you, though I highly doubt he would!

He sounds like he'd be a tough one to sit well, and watching him it's obvious he would be. We had a Dutch Warmblood (dam was a TB; his sire was Jazz) who had the bounciest trot I have ever sat. Made me want a smooth ride when I had my own horse :lol: thank god Izzie is smooth! She's only hard to sit if she's taking off at the trot. Her canter you'd want a nice big field to just canter around in and never stop. Smooth as silk. To be honest though, if you can sit his trot, more power to you! Bouncy is HARD, and many people don't realize that. Therefore, I stand by my opinion that you are a good rider :lol: who cares if it's pretty!

Oh yeah, he drives me looney, but I wouldn't trade him for anything :lol: he's my perfect match. And the funny thing is, is that until I met Nick, I didn't want kids. Kind of how I knew he was the one. I wanted kids and a future with him.

Haha, yeah they would! I look at Izzie and wish I could just stretch it just a bit longer :lol: but we manage it well!

And that's awesome! I'm glad you were able to talk with your father too


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> Oh Dante
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> 
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> I like the primaDante, that's hilarious! I know that feeling so well. If I get after Izzie too hard (in her opinion) we spend our ride fighting. Definitely all about riding with tact with these guys! Hopefully he never decides to try rearing or bucking like that with you, though I highly doubt he would!
> 
> He sounds like he'd be a tough one to sit well, and watching him it's obvious he would be. We had a Dutch Warmblood (dam was a TB; his sire was Jazz) who had the bounciest trot I have ever sat. Made me want a smooth ride when I had my own horse
> 
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> thank god Izzie is smooth! She's only hard to sit if she's taking off at the trot. Her canter you'd want a nice big field to just canter around in and never stop. Smooth as silk. To be honest though, if you can sit his trot, more power to you! Bouncy is HARD, and many people don't realize that. Therefore, I stand by my opinion that you are a good rider
> 
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> who cares if it's pretty!
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> Oh yeah, he drives me looney, but I wouldn't trade him for anything
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> 
> he's my perfect match. And the funny thing is, is that until I met Nick, I didn't want kids. Kind of how I knew he was the one. I wanted kids and a future with him.
> 
> Haha, yeah they would! I look at Izzie and wish I could just stretch it just a bit longer
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> but we manage it well!
> 
> And that's awesome! I'm glad you were able to talk with your father too


Unfortunately he has reared up on me and spun on his back legs like a ballerina before and while on a loose rein, he busted my lip open lol. That was when he was a baby and SUPER green. He didn't like being told what to do, so he'd react kinda aggressively. I joked wow usually horses either buck, bolt or rear and I have one that will do all 3. It hasn't been an issue in a while. Now he just bucks to protest or speak his opinion and I just ignore it or if he's just being a jerk I'll get after him and be like get over yourself @sshole and then he's like oh right, Mom is boss. Sometimes he just has to check how much he can get away with. I think it's just the stock horse x arab crosses. I'm convinced it's an argumentative cross. But undersaddle he's not trying to hurt me because I respect his opinion but at the same time don't let it get out of hand. He needs to be respected or he won't respect the rider and I'm guessing Izzy is like that too.

I believe it!! Jazz horses aren't easy to ride. Dutch horses are kinda wacko in my experience lol. Dante's not the bounciest, Magellan (TB treated late for EPM) he couldn't control his back legs well before dressage training. He couldn't really bring them under his body, so he was like sitting a catapult every stride. Even posting was hard on him, until he got stronger and could articulate his hocks. Rehabbing him to a normal horse took a good year. But I'm with you! I wouldn't choose bouncy if I had the choice. As an amateur what do I have to prove? I want to enjoy the ride lol but when you're poor and short on money you make do right? And it does, it makes everything harder when they're tossing your body around so much! My friend is a very pretty rider and she rode Dante and was like how do you sit this? People should sit on him before they critisizes your eq and I just laughed. She also thought I rode really strong because I look strong (I'm 5'7 140lbs and I used to be a beast muscle tone wise) but when I was training her horse (he's a national show horse 75% arab) she rode him after me she was like wait he's really light, it's your timing that makes him responsive. You don't ride strong at all and I was like nope because she was using stronger aids then I was but not getting the same result. I owe her a lot she got me back into riding after a good year off (marine corps training, no rights).

Lol that's beautiful







I'm so glad you found each other. It always gives me hope when love exists lol because you're a willful, intelligent woman too. There are guys who can handle it! My parents have a great relationship and suit each other so well but I get worried because aspergers, bipolar and I'm SUPER duper picky. I. really sweet (used to be a total door mat) because I will drop everything for the people I care about and I'm very respectful. But at the same time I'm very willful, outspoken, independent and opinionated. I also tend to be unpredictable like embarrass people because of the stuff that comes out my mouth. I'm the friend my friends have to explain to other people







I mean well, it just doesn't always come out right and I dig a big hole for myself because I don't get it. Im better than I was but I dont always get the emotional aspect and I swear a lot. Among polite society my parents get embarrassed. My dad knew an engineer he thought might suit me then said he wouldn't wish me on any man he liked. He said its not that Im not a beautiful, voluptuous woman but that my personality is something of an acquired taste. He meant well but my family is German, so feelings aren't really a consideration. It doesn't hurt my feelings because it's been true. Just not what guys are shopping for in a potential wife, and Ive chosen complete jerks.


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## Tazzie

Ouch! I'm glad he doesn't do that anymore (or at least hasn't in a long time!) That doesn't sound pleasant! Yup, I know how that goes too. Izzie does the kick out with one leg when she's being ****y. Fortunately hasn't bucked in a long while under saddle. I do think it is an argumentative cross, and Izzie absolutely demands respect in order to respect me. We already know I respect her opinion on matters 

He was awful to ride. By far one of the hardest horses I have ever ridden. He had the snakiest neck I have ever had to deal with, and just flat out tough. And see? Proof right there that you are a good rider!!

There is hope, trust me! I'm certainly not easy to get along with, I intentionally embarrass people, and I cuss like a sailor. Nothing lady like about me  Just have to find someone totally ok with that, and I find mine in a country boy with only a high school education. They are out there, trust me!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I'm giving Dante another day off. I wasn't too motivated today. Computer science wore me out and had a good conversation about humanities with my literary professor. I'm getting better at it as I'm doing it more. My brain is fairly balanced, more left but balanced. Mostly about the development of western civilization and how stories have such an impact on culture and concepts, development of perspectives. How cultures transcend through the ages and go through fluctuations with intense morality and corruption, etc.

Me too!! It was not necessary! He's just a special cookie. Quarabs/pintabians special personalities lol. 

I absolutely believe it and get it. I'm familiar with Jazz horses they are missing screws in my experience and are just special. The ones I've known are very hot and tend to be very tense because they're so hot and it takes a great deal of tact to get them to relax but they're just special horses. 

I guess so :lol: I know I'm competent. I'm just IDK try to take it day by day?

I hope so :lol: my problem is I really want someone I can identify with and connect with. Someone who wants to talk about the things I'm interested in like history, world literature, philosophy, physics, psychology, neuroscience, mathematics, economics, etc and LIKES talking about those things and has input. I get along with engineers or people who are very pragmatic, real and more science minded type people. I HATE drinking, clubs, anything like that. I don't mind social drinking but even drunk I'm even worse about the do not touch me. I HATE loud music, condescending, tasteless music. I don't trust musicians. I need someone who doesn't want crazy (surprising a lot of guys LIKE psycho, some like psychotic misery, dont ask me why) which I'm not. I'm pretty eccentric but not dangerous and not a ticking time bomb. If I go off there IS a reason, it's not random and I'm SUPER reasonable so not erratic or crazy. Just quirky and eccentric. I get compared a lot to Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory, except I'm not a jerk. I used to be called robot because I didn't know how to interact. I also think I'm a lot like Sally from 3rd Rock from the Sun. So I'm VERY abnormal to date, one guy was like I can't believe on our first date you shook my hand like we were in a formal business meeting (I'm also known for almost breaking a few guys hands). I also can be SUPER literal, very professional but very goofy and random. I have almost no attention span. It took me YEARS to work out sarcasm so now I'm very sarcastic and can be very charming but as people get to know me more and they get past the facade I'm SUPER awkward, quiet but passionate and like to listen. I like conversation to be 50/50. I'm super detail oriented and can seem transparent, I'm very upfront but basically assumptions are wrong. I'm one of those where I forget I know stuff until someone brings it up and I can go off on it like an encyclopedia. I don't know everything, not anywhere close but I know a bit about a LOT of different stuff and that tends to scare people. There are a lot of things, it's really my personality and who I am that's a problem. I'm not awful to be around but I identify with very few people and I'm distinct. I get noticed almost anywhere I go. I don't pity myself, I'm emotionally very tough and I need someone with that kind of toughness and moral courage. I'm a very tough fit and will need a very particular person, I just don't know if they exist. They'd need to be very secure and patient and not expect me to compliment them all the time but know when I do, I really mean it. Faithful and honest is a big one, been cheated on a few times. I think more grounded than me because while I'm responsible and tend to take the leadership roles professionally, personally I need someone who will have my back and keep me grounded. 

Everyone has what is right for them and some of the smartest people I know don't have a formal education.


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## whisperbaby22

The reason I saw that you are a good rider is because your horse is so "bouncy". 
Few people could sit that trot for more than a couple of strides, I couldn't. But that bouncy will translate into springy and look very fancy in the dressage ring. 

As for the personal, it's hard to say. When I was young, I was in total work mode, not looking to marry. I was in my mid 30's when I met my husband, and on a kind of an off hand date. He asked me if I wanted to go out, and NO was on the tip of my tongue, at the last instant I said, Sure, why not?


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## Tazzie

I'm sure he appreciates another day off  I totally understand the feeling of mentally tired! A break is needed! I'm glad you're understanding your school work better!

He sounds like a real character all the way around :lol:

I only have experience with this one gelding, but I'd agree with the screw loose. He'd spook at his own hoof print in the deep arena footing when he'd go deep into the corner. He was special all right. He was definitely a hot horse, and wasn't enjoyable to me. The woman who bought him rode him very well, but something happened and she split leaving him behind. No clue what became of him. He was HIGH maintenance. Had to have special shoes with a special farrier. Crappiest feet I've ever seen.

Isn't that how life always is? Day by day?

And I know what you mean. Nick and I talk about our jobs somewhat, but talk about what we both want. Which is a farm, cows, etc. I would never think you'd be dangerous or crazy. I know I only know you through here, but I can say I'd never be afraid of you! As for men, you'll find that guy willing to handle all of you and will stimulate you intellectually!

As for education, I wholeheartedly agree. I hate how much people put stake in education. Nick is a genius with everything he does. School just wasn't for him. But I never cared about it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you Whisperbaby22. That's what I first thought of him when I looked at him. I thought most people won't see much in him right now. Literally my trainer said he wouldn't go past 3rd but sitting on him and feeling how he rode I knew he had a ton of movement and the right mental attitude to go far. I think you can feel it when you sit on a horse, it was just going to take time for everyone else to see it too. To me he clearly had an ability to collect. I thought he's the kind that doesn't instantly impress but he's the kind that with training will do great.

That's a lovely story  sometimes when it's just meant to be, there is no way around it. It just happens when you least expect it and aren't looking. I hope something like that happens for me. I think I focus on it because I'm getting older and most of the girls I grew up with are married, have kids or are developing that way and I'm single. Been single most of my adult life with no prospects and I've literally never dated a decent guy. I blame being so naive and always believing in the best in people, giving the benefit of the doubt, etc. Right now I don't really need a guy but it's kinda like I'm ready for that phase of getting to know someone and potentially build a life. And I think at some point you just tired of traveling alone. I think I've done a lot with my life, now I just need to get through school and get my career started and to be honest I'm not even sure I know how to date anymore :lol: 

I don't know. I gave him 2 days off and haven't seen him. This is very unusual. He usually gets upset if he hasn't seen me in a day. He likes having his person, getting groomed and he really likes working and the treats, massages and general Princess treatment. But absolutely, I just needed to chill. I'm glad I'm getting it better too. Computer Science is kicking my butt but it's hard to figure out and work out. It takes me a while to learn/develop new skills. My learn curve is long because I'm SO SO literal and SO SO detailed. It's hard for me to work it out if it's logic I don't already know but it's good for me and I've just gotta keep hacking at it and developing. The only good thing about my learning curve is although it takes WAY longer and I look stupid adjusting, I usually get it 10x better than other people, can teach it and authentically know and understand it from the bottom up. It's just a longer process. I don't memorize, I internalize and mark patterns.

And yes he is. No one can say he has a dull or boring personality. He's opinionated even on the ground. Another nickname he has is Voldemort because when he pins his ears back and grimaces at people his nostrils turn into slits. It's quite hysterical actually. He can make some nasty faces. He either likes a person or he doesn't. He loves being told how handsome and pretty he is :lol: he's like any man. He knows when you're complimenting him and he loves it.

:lol: that sounds like every Jazz I've ever known. They're SUPER talented but tough, tough horses to work with. Honestly not a fan. That stallion leaves a strong mark on his offspring and as an amateur I'm like who has time for that? I like challenging but I like a sane, reasonable horse.

For sure. Day by day is the only way to get by and keep going forth. A lot of days it's rough but you just keep marching.

I entirely agree. I think education is important but I don't see how BA or BS is more valuable than developing a technical skill which some jobs pay VERY VERY well with a HS diploma or going to a tech school. And some people just don't have it for school and it has nothing to do with intellect but focus and what they're good at. And exactly you need someone who wants to travel the same road you do, walk the same path. Build a ladder and grab a tree ledge when necessary.

And no definitely not dangerous or crazy. Eccentric, yes but in the harmless kinda interesting-humorous I think you're nuts kind of way. I have a friend who I think I was mumbling something about a theory about why some people are left handed and how often times a woman has multiple pregnancies but only 1 develops into a baby and she went face palm, Cassie. I was like well I thought it was interesting.


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## Tazzie

Then maybe he won't appreciate it :lol: but you needed a mental break. I'm sure he'll be glad to see you today! And yeah, I understand that. Honestly, who cares if it takes someone longer to learn? If they learn it, that's great! I think you'll be more successful in the long run since you didn't just memorize it to get through school!

Haha, Voldemort! Now that's a good one too! I can imagine him just soaking up all the compliments like "yeah, I know I'm awesome."

He was definitely talented, but definitely tough. I rode him a bit when his owner broke her ankle. I did ok with him, but I'll never be interested in a horse that will spook at his own hoofprint. Definitely too challenging to have a fun ride on. He was such an odd color too. Like a chestnut, but not really. And not really a dark enough mane for a bay. He was weird. Here are a couple of pictures of him:

















Yup! Heck, he only went to trade school for plumbing, and then got into this job where they did their own schooling. And he makes twice I do :lol:

Haha, you definitely sound like someone who would be entertaining to hang around :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

I really hope so. I'm a LOT like my father and that's kinda been his career. He's slow to learn because he really internalizes and understand what he does. He's very thorough, detail oriented and aims to be thoroughly competent. Not just get through which I think it what a lot of people do with memorization to just get going. He's a late bloomer but he's extremely good at what he does. He scares me with the math he can do in his head. He used to make me SO mad when I was younger because I'd be struggling in mathematics, he wouldn't even touch pencil to paper and would point at it and go that's the answer, that's the answer, that's the answer and he was right on every one. He can do million dollar budgets in his head and is always spot on, it's scary. Even with decimals.

I really needed something. Today I was having issues "peopleing." I just couldn't cope :lol: I mean at school, I was fine but I got home and just basically shut myself off from the world, took a 2hr nap (very unusual for me). Actually watched TV which I don't do a lot but watched 3rd Rock from the Sun, some original Star Trek, and Firefly. I went to the barn and rode Dante, he was really tricky tonight. He was spooky and tense (like a fire breathing dragon, very snorty) to warm up, he REALLY didn't want to use himself properly. He didnt respond correctly to my core half halts like he was resisting in his back. I did a bit of accordion work but letting him out made it worse. He was avoiding using his whole back :/ and then when I'd gather him up he tried to swan neck or suck behind the bit, so it was a very interesting dance tonight. We had some good moments where he felt incredible and other moments where I felt like it really didn't matter how well I rode, it just wasn't going to go well tonight. He just wasn't responding correctly to my leg or core half halt. I think having a few days off was part of the problem and the other part is I can still feel the EPM medicine affecting him. Not awful but he didn't feel totally right in his body if that makes sense. He can be like a snake to ride. He felt very snaky, so many parts and it isn't like here's the contact get all your body parts going in one direction :lol: which I feel is how it is on more straight forward rides but on him I don't even know, at a certain point I just ride. I just feel and ride. He needs to be in consistent work, he can't have too many days off is my conclusion.

Then I think one of the older horses may have to be put down, I really like that horse and his owner was out so I talked to her for a little bit. I'm REALLY not good when it comes to that stuff, so I'll listen but I won't talk because I ALWAYS say the wrong thing and better to say nothing than say the wrong thing. I mean well but I'm basically Sheldon and can be SO inappropriate without realizing what I said was the worst thing I could have said. It comes from a good place, I just learned to keep my mouth shut. 

He definitely has the Jazz horse type head lol. He's handsome but I completely understand. There is good challenging where yeah it's tricky or hard but you can work with it and bad challenging where you can get it all right and be spot on and have the worst ride of your life, just because the horse is SO difficult. That's frustrating.

That doesn't surprise me at all. I've heard of guys who are technical/skilled workers making as much as engineers. 80-120k. My dad knows some that make 120k because they're in higher up management positions.

I'm whatever I am, probably interesting or a spectacle to some people. I don't think anyone would describe me as dull, boring or predictable. It's always kinda a new thing. I have no attention span, can be pretty oblivious and I'm really innocent about it all. I mean well, it just doesn't always come across that way but the people who know me know what I mean.


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## Tazzie

That is scary good at math! But I know you'll do well since you'll be more thorough with your learning!

Sorry you had a bad people day  and sorry Dante wasn't being good either. That makes for a frustrating ride. I'm glad you had a couple of good moments at least! Hopefully he starts feeling better though!

Oh no  I feel bad for the person needing to make that decision. I dread the time we will have to decide that.

I don't know much about Jazz himself, just know Omega was a hard horse all around. He was lucky he had an owner who enjoyed the challenge, but no clue where he ended up when she split (messy divorce, and abandoned the horse.) I like some challenge, but I didn't like that challenge. Not many people liked that challenge.

Yeah, Nick had a ton of overtime last year, and made three times more than I did. He likes his job, and made the highest position he can get right now. Which is Senior Tech. So he can run his own crews now. Pretty nice.

Most of my friends are interesting to say the least :lol: one of my best friends was likened to an ADHD Squirrel. She was ACTIVE and talked a million miles an hour. She still does, but not as bad as she was in college :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

He is scary good at it. It always amazes people when he does it and he always wears the same cheeky grin like he's so proud of himself lol. But thank you. I think I will. I did very well in the Marines, I couldn't really get promoted because of my injuries (they don't like to promote injured Marines, it's not impossible just difficult) but I ended up being responsible for and in charge of a lot of stuff. I always held important billets because I was trusted, so I actually got to brief my XO and CO and had my own office and such. All the higher ups knew me and vice versa. I did quite a bit of mentorship and my opinion was genuinely respected. The most difficult GySgt said I carried myself with a sense of pride and dignity he admired. In the fleet MC I was respected and well liked. My XO told me it was the marine corps loss because I was a good Marine.

It's alright. No one did anything to me or was awful to deal with, it's just somedays it's really difficult for me to socialize like I have trouble maintaining eye contact and just talking. It's not that I can't, I can appear mostly normal it just takes a lot of effort and energy to do. Most people won't notice but I have to work at it. I was better when I was in the Marines and talking to people ALL the time, so it was more natural but now it takes more effort. I have to think about how to socialize. 

But thank you. I don't think it's Dante's fault. I think his back is bothering him. Even on the lungeline today, I could tell something wasn't right. He wasn't wanting to go forward, it took a lot to keep him forward (for him) and he slammed on the brakes into walk which he NEVER does lunging or under saddle. It's the right side. My trainer from Fl came up this weekend, so we're supposed to have a lesson tomorrow. We'll see how Dante is.

That's really unfortunate for a horse like him to be in a situation like that  it's hard to find good homes sometimes, even for talented horses but if he's professional quality talent I'm sure they found someone! But I get it, I don't like high maintenance horses who are tricky to stay sound or are genuinely awful to ride.

That's fabulous! And good for him. I'm sure he put a lot into it to get that job. 

lol the human squirrel. I'm glad you choose interesting friends. I think "interesting" people have the biggest hearts and tend to be less unreasonably/petty judgmental :lol: plus you never know what will come next.

Short video of lunging today

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xhNQq-5wEY

Some pictures and his Voldemort face.


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## Tazzie

It does sound like it would be their loss! You seem like a very smart, together kind of person. I'm glad you are finding your place though!

Oh, I knew what you meant  heck, I feel like a normal person and I have days where I just don't want to deal with people or be social at all. That's why I like working in a lab where my specimens don't talk back to me :lol:

I didn't think it was his fault  I figured it was the EPM causing it. Poor guy though. You can really tell he didn't want to go forward really.

Fortunately for that horse, my former boss/trainer didn't just quite taking care of him. I know she found him a good home, I just don't know where nor have I asked. The two of them were good friends, so I can't imagine she wants to sit down and chat about it. I do think he could have gone far, but the woman who had him before coming to that barn was so weird. The barn fed strategy, and she's like "oh yeah, that's what he's on." Come to find out, he had been on sweet feed. So, small amounts slowly introduced is how they went. Then she had that horse in a rough bit and essentially tied his head down. Said if they took it all off, he'd go straight up. He was sold to the friend for $1, and I believe that was just on paper. Once he changed hands, he was stuck in a simple snaffle, untied, and taught how to properly come round. He believed he was a giraffe for a long time :lol: but was much happier. I've tried, and failed, to get the christmas video I have online. I just can't make it work 

He sure did! I'm proud of him 

And oh yeah, we are ANYTHING but normal. I prefer to hang out with an interesting crowd :lol:

He sure thinks he can look mean, doesn't he! I still think he's cute!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. I am too. It's taken me a while but I hope I found it in computer science. I was upset to leave the marine corps. I opted for it because I knew they'd never put me on deployment, so what's the point? Once you're broken, you're broken. I knew with my hip even when it stopped hurting I'd never be able to do another hike again, one with 80lbs of gear for 10 miles. I knew it just wasn't going to happen, will power wouldn't be the issue but I've literally buckled like fallen down on my hip before. It was shocking to me because I thought I was invincible :lol: stupid but I used to be able to pick up and throw over my shoulder the 180lb guys so I tried with a 140lb guy and literally collapsed. Before my first injury I was actually pretty fast and could keep up with the guys. I wasn't number 1 or anything but top third for distance runs with the guys.

lol introverted people I suppose. The most introverted person I know is my friend from Taiwan who has her degree in math and is a saddle fitter. I love her but around her I feel almost normal. She will make plans with people and try to come up with an excuse for why she cant go and Lord the things I can't share but her husband is so normal and he's a computer science guy. We decided he's Lenard from the Big Bang Theory. It's just funny. My friend and her husband were like we don't need to watch the Big Bang when that is our reality. We have Sheldon (me), Penny (my trainer), Raj/Howard (math friend), and Lenard (her husband). We were all out together last night. My trainer in FL tries to come back ones a month and we're all friends so it was pretty fun. I actually dressed up in heels, skirt, curled my hair and put on a makeup. We were in the ritzy area, so when I dress up I go all out. I was like yep that's why my nickname was Marine Barbie or Elle Woods. It feels good sometimes but I used to feel so pretty cleaned up and now I think I've lost my glow because it really doesn't matter. Whether you're pretty or not doesn't mean you're happy, it doesn't mean you'll have better people in your life and it hurts more than it helps. My guy friends in the Marines explained I need to be careful because some guys are very good at games and see me as nothing more than a challenge to charm, win and let go just to say they could. Been true so far. I think we all like to feel attractive, desirable, etc but I think you can lose your relish in feeling it too because you realize it really doesn't matter and has probably hurt you in life more than it has helped. 

But I'm glad he found a good home but with that story, I understand why his mom didn't mind the challenge. I would probably make do if I got such a nice horse so cheaply, though sometimes the free ones are the most expensive to maintain. Some horse people are so odd, you don't know if anything they say is true and they'll lie about petty, stupid stuff that makes you go what? why? or they're just crazy and are so out of touch with reality I don't know *shrugs*

You should be proud!! And that is awesome!! You sound like my kind of people, the kind the wait staff talk about the rest of the night like OMG did you hear what they were talking about at that table? Yesterday I told my friends I wanted to build a tree house so we could spend easter in bunny onsies.

He really does. He makes nasty faces to put people off and then I kiss his nose and his ears perk up. He thinks he's a bad boy.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Kinda been one of those days.

I had a lesson on Dante, he tried really hard and really meant well. He did something I'm not entirely sure what but I let him have a loose rein and kinda reared up and spun really quick which was pretty out of the blue. But otherwise he was good. He was hard to ride today, he was very good but he was having a hard time his body felt like he couldn't quite get his back and hind legs underneath him so we had a pretty light lesson. I learned a lot and have a lot I need to work on. My timing was a little off, I wasn't as on it consistently but he didnt get upset or fret about it, it just wasn't as good as it could have been but everyday isn't going to be perfect. None of us are ever perfect.

Fought with my best friends today which I'm not happy about. She basically wanted advice on a career path and I said basically I think she'd be better off looking into other jobs than makeup artist and listed a bunch of different ones and she got mad at me for not being supportive. I was just like then I won't bother, I was trying to give you some other options and things to look at. I'm trying to be realistic, I said nothing negative just look at other job options. I'm not the person you ask for an opinion from unless you want an honest answer, she's told me plenty of things I didn't want to hear and screamed at me tell she was red in the face for no reason but I didnt take it personally. Just okay I'm saying nothing at all to you until it's reasonable. I try but I'm not good with people, I can be too blunt and too straight up and stubborn about it. I'm not rude or condescending just here's how it is. I'm not an emotional or feeling thinker I know a lot of people are, I just don't understand that perspective. I try but it's hard for me and when I guess because I guess wrong, it confuses me. I'm logical and honestly I've spent my life catering to everyone else, doing whatever others needed and changing myself to fit their needs and at a certain point I got fed up. I'm not that person anymore, I'm not a bad person but I don't understand and the whole situation honestly really confuses me because I don't get people. I said nothing I'd consider inflammatory and yet I feel like I shined a shadow on myself.

But short video from the warm up. The other video is still loading, I have no idea when it will load but

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Eq5Ny_j5NM

And short section from the other video that probably wont' finish loading for a few hours.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHRYl_B4Bjg

He was upset and broke the cross ties while I went to use the bathroom, I came back and he was standing in the aisle like Mom it was bad. The wind was pretty bad today, apparently there is a cold front coming through.


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## Wallaby

hahaha his face with the broken cross-tie!!! :rofl: :rofl: I've absolutely gotten that face from Fabio before. :lol: :lol: These horses of ours!


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## Tazzie

I can totally understand how it would be a struggle going from being able to throw a 180 lb man over your shoulder to not being able to lift a smaller one  that would be hard leaving the marines like that. Never fun when it's due to an injury.

Sounds like you have an entertaining little posse if it's like the big bang theory :lol: that's mine and my husband's favorite show  and yeah, definitely just my introvert side. I can't stand sometimes when people constantly send me messages on facebook to talk about the same thing day after day (I have a friend hung up on a guy.... one day she's walking away, the next she's doing... stuff with him; gets old)

He was definitely expensive to maintain. He used to throw shoes constantly. Turned out the farrier was crud, and this horse need xrays to make sure the shoes and feet were correct. He had some crazy rocker shoes on to have him break over sooner. Used to slam his feet down otherwise. I still wouldn't have taken him on even with that price tag :lol: but I don't care for that much of a challenge.

Haha, yeah, that would be us. I vividly remember dinner with some of my good friends (and Nick lol) and one was pregnant and due soonish. I was telling her everything she should ask the hospital for (creams, sprays, etc) and my friend (the ADHD squirrel) was like "OMG, I can't believe this conversation is truly happening right now." We have NO filters between us :lol:

He's an amusing bad boy lol

No, I don't believe perfection exists. I'm glad you got a few good tips on how to help him out though! I wonder what the rear was about though  poor guy though. Hopefully he starts feeling better sooner rather than later.

Sorry to hear you fought with your friend. That's never easy. I'd much rather a friend be blunt with me than to let me make a huge mistake though.

Great videos! Though I can't wait to see the full video!

And those pictures! That face in the broken crosstie one :lol: I love it!


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## Skyseternalangel

He's looking very lovely, Cassie! His face at the end of that second video, lol... he was like rrrrrr canter.

I'm sorry your friend was super rude... I've noticed you tend to blame yourself a lot or at least feel you did something wrong. You are only you. Your quirks, personality, and tendencies are yours and friends are supposed to embrace them, not make you question if you screwed up or if you're a bad communicator.

Everyone is different, or unique... and everyone is allowed their own opinions. If she wants to do something, she needs to own it not lean on you for emotional support. That's not your place (it's a heavy load) unless you are close and she does the same for you as that's a healthy exchange. Friends don't get hulk-angry if you disagree or don't support them. That's childish.

Friends are supportive, yes... but to a point. They have their friends' best interests in mind too, not blindly just saying go-for-it to please their friend.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Yes :lol: he's always expressive. There are no questions as to how he feels about things. He was not happy in the cross ties or that I left him. I had a hard time leaving him today. He didn't want me to go and he seemed really stressed out with all the wind.

lol that's awesome I'm glad so many people follow it. It's a great show. And yes we do because it is pretty accurate of our roles in the group. My trainer definitely clues my friends from Taiwan (math major) and me into normal social customs and what is appropriate/not appropriate. 

But that's awesome! It sounds like you have a really great, fun group of friends. You know you've found the right crowd when you can say just about anything and have a great time. Though within reason, there really are some things better left unsaid and not shown.

And I agree. Always better to have a blunt supporter who has your back and will tell you the truth, especially when you need it than a passive-aggressive friend who lacks the courage or knows they can't tell you the truth. I will say passive-aggressive behaviors drive me crazy. I'm pretty much either passive or aggressive not both but it drives me nuts because it's basically a person who is actually aggressive but too much a coward to display it. Someone who fear confrontation and I'm kinda more I want it all out in the open, let's deal with it! lol

-------------------------------------------------------------------

My trainer gave me a good talk about how much Dante feeds off of me and my emotions. I am his role model, leader and life coach. He's very sensitive and if I'm higher energy he's going to feed off of that and explode, I try pretty hard to stay neutral emotionally in the saddle. I started out frustrated, not at Dante he was being good but he couldn't use himself properly also not his fault but me not being more tactful and riding through it. I really started the ride thinking there is no way I can ride through this because he felt like he was tripping a bit like all his parts were going different directions and I couldn't work out how to get them all going in a single direction. I tend to have black and white thinking patterns, so my trainer talked me through and some of my issues are in my head and note this is why I opted not to become a professional. I dont have it mentally, I'm too hectic in my own mind and while I can ride a good variety of horses and ride very challenging horses I get too much in my head sometimes. It's a problem.

I have no idea what the rear/spin whatever he did was about. It was so out of the blue. I wasn't sure If I'd stay on I was literally on his neck because he did that then side stepped quite a bit. I don't remember it all, it happened pretty fast but I remember not being sure I'd stay on lol.

I'm used to taking on leadership type roles or being responsible for people, so if something isn't right I usually try to work out what I did wrong before I blame the next person. I also carry a lot of guilt :lol: I'm not catholic but I have the catholic guilt complex, everything is my fault. As a leader I worked very hard not to show weakness, so people could stay confident in me and trust I knew what I was doing. Big part of leadership is even when you don't know it all because most of the time you won't is knowing how to organize people, settle them and get things done. 

And yes she and I are very close. Sometimes we have tiffs but we always talk and get over it, I've just never fought with her since we've been apart. It might have just been a rough day for her. We're fine now. It's just when that stuff happens it really upsets me because I get really confused and don't understand. Everything has to make sense for me lol. And I look at it as, I cant control what other people do or say but I can control what I do or say, so I try really hard to do the right thing where ever and whenever possible. I try not to make mistakes, I used to try harder. I was a perfectionist and I held a really tight leash on myself. I've gotten better but thank you. I like that we're all unique, quirky and different. It makes life interesting. And I agree she needs to own it and not expect a support system to give her assurance she can. She needs to do it herself. She's helped me a lot with life stuff because I'm a tard. She's not judgmental, she just has her own stuff and sometimes lashes out without meaning to. It's just a moment that passes.

But other video loaded.

I did the best I could with him today, I wasn't on it 100% either. My timing was sometimes off. It just felt like it was hard for him, like all his legs were going different directions and he really wanted to suck back up at the bit or do the swan with a hollow back, raised head and nose down. He didn't want to reach threw to it, I don't know how to explain it. He felt like he was really trying and meant well but it was hard for him. It was like he was having trouble organizing his body and I needed to have better timing but I did the best I could. Fortunately my trainer gave us a lot of good tips and help to ride him through it. I'm kinda worried he may need another course of marquis :-( in general we kept it light because it felt like it was hard for him. He needed a lot of help like all his parts were going in different directions and he needed a lot of leg to keep his back up and seeking the bit. I feel bad for him but he needs to stay in work. It's better for him. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1J2y36Rxnqs


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## Skyseternalangel

Love the video!


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## Tazzie

I love an expressive horse  They hide nothing! And it's always harder to leave when they want you to stay so bad 

We may be slightly obsessed with it :lol: our lab's registered name is Empress' (kennel name) Big Bang Theory, and his nickname is Sheldon. Our lab mix we have we named Penny right after we got married (before we started watching the big bang theory). Sheldon even has a custom made Bazinga! collar :lol:

Oh yeah, everything is within reason! There are some things I will take to my grave before I ever tell them how I felt about some things (stuff that is so not important nor did it affect their life). But other than that, we are SUPER open about everything.

Yup, all of my friends are pretty blunt, and they know I'll be blunt if need be. I typically try and be nicer, but sometimes blunt is needed. I'm glad you guys are good again! I think that's the sign of a true friend. An argument can happen, there may be some time off, but they go back to it anyway.

I totally understand what your trainer is saying. Him being half Arab and think makes him tune in just a little more than other breeds. But I know how hard it is to remove all emotion from the saddle (obviously not at them, but at a situation or something).

The video was good. I LOVE your trainer. Seriously, she sounds awesome! I do know what you mean by the swan neck, head up, nose down. Poor Dante  another dose may be needed unfortunately.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. It was a productive ride. Definitely not our best but sometimes it's best to have those lessons because you gain tools to tackle problems you were struggling to figure out a clear approach or direction to go with it. I was a little at a loss to be honest how to ride him because he felt everywhere but Pam brought back my thinking to one thing rather than trying to organize all these parts. So isolate one thing, make it simple, make it easy for him to achieve so he doesnt' lose confidence with his body not responding/working correctly. I need to talk to the vet about that. He said it'd get worse before it got better but for how long?

It was hard to leave him, I walked away and he kept looking at me and shook his head. When I got him from the pasture he nickered at me and came right up to the gate like mom I missed you! But it was an interesting dance. I couldn't be too taught in the reins which is part of why I'm giving so much in the rein because he really wanted to swan neck and I was trying to encourage him to stretch to it. 

I was fairly frustrated yesterday :lol: again at the situation, not at him. He meant well and tried, didn't get upset or throw a blow out tantrum like he used to when he wasn't totally happy with the situation. But it was interesting one of the boarders was trying to give me young horse advice like I hadn't worked with young horses before. I was very polite but I was thinking this isn't my first rodeo. She kept saying oh he's young, all of it is just he's young and you need to show him more of what he should do rather than what he shouldn't, etc. Again I was polite but I said I think a lot of it is related to the EPM and treatment, some of it is his breed which comes with a certain personality but I think she tends to think all horses are the same. She tends to think the way to fix horses is just loving on them and making sure they know they're loved. She's a kind, lovely person just not super experienced. But I'm talking to the vet at this point he's been on the marquis for 3 weeks and still feels "neurological" if that makes sense. He has one tube left. I REALLY don't want to do another course of it, 800 dollars for 4 tubes but if I have to, I have to.

For sure. We're very good friends and it gets swept under the rug, neither of us are grudge holders for petty stuff. I hold a mean grudge when I get screwed over or if I'm treated really badly but I think that's different lol. Petty stuff blows over.

But that's too funny :lol: I think you guys do have a slight obsession. Big Bang Theory themed dogs lol.

Precisely. And that's excellent you all have such a healthy, good friendship to share most things 

She's fantastic! I've trained with her for a long time. She's very correct, systematic and fair to the horses. I've never seen her ask for anything outside of the range the horse is read for. She'll push the envelope but she's always fair. And she mostly compared him to Alfie who is a Jazz grandson and how he and Alfie display their reactions to their riders differently but they are horses that are highly sensitive and reactive to it. She's very clear headed and doesn't make horses an emotional thing.

It's funny because I used to ride horses that were very sharp/hot and did well with them because I was pretty in control of my emotions, not perfect but I think sometimes it's different when it's your horse vs something you're paid to ride. But I used to do well because Id keep calm and just send them up with my leg. I feel like I use a lot more leg on something sharp or hot than I do on something quiet or dull because when they'd get hot I'd send them up or into laterals to keep suppleness so they didnt get hot and tense. They were more ridable. Ride legs off and theyd jump off it sideways and would get pretty obnoxious, so I rode legs on. I wouldn't consider Dante hot, he can be but he's very sensitive to his environment, weather, mood, position. He's gotten better and will keep getting better about things as we develop more vocabulary.


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## Tazzie

Those are the kind of rides I want to have in front of my trainer. The kind of ride I hope happens once or twice when I move her up there to board :lol: Izzie suffers from "new place, have to be perfect" most of the time. At home, she sometimes fights me. So I can see how it'd be beneficial to have a not so great ride in front of the trainer, and have them give you things to help improve the situation!

Poor guy  always harder to leave when they don't want you to go! And I totally understand that. It sounded like your trainer really helped you work through him wanting to swan neck!

Yeah, not all babies are the same. And all they need is love? Really? I'm sure Izzie would love to just be loved on all day long, but that won't help us out under saddle nearly as much as correct riding would. I personally think you're doing a fantastic job with him, and you are battling EPM. That is going to make the rides trickier than they normally would be. Some people. I can totally understand your frustration there, even if she did mean well. I understand on the cost  that is pricey, but I'm sure your vet will help you decide what you need to do now!

Yup, petty stuff gets swept under a lot. We all tend to say things we don't mean to say, so we all just forgive one another. I am one that lacks tact sometimes :lol:

Yeah, we are slightly obsessed lol

You need a trainer that pushes the envelope when they are ready! It's good to challenge them just a little bit. It's not like you're asking him to do one tempis :lol: just a slightly more challenging movement. I totally understand the sensitive to the environment. I would not peg him as a true hot horse because you can ride him, and ride him well. He doesn't seem to want to jump out of his skin at the slightest difference in work. Though, I may have a very different idea of a hot horse :lol:


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## frlsgirl

:happydance:

I just found your journal and love it! I also have an opinionated non-traditional Dressage horse (Morgan mare) so I can totally relate to your ups and downs. He is a very lovely horse.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> Those are the kind of rides I want to have in front of my trainer. The kind of ride I hope happens once or twice when I move her up there to board
> 
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> Izzie suffers from "new place, have to be perfect" most of the time. At home, she sometimes fights me. So I can see how it'd be beneficial to have a not so great ride in front of the trainer, and have them give you things to help improve the situation!
> 
> Poor guy  always harder to leave when they don't want you to go! And I totally understand that. It sounded like your trainer really helped you work through him wanting to swan neck!
> 
> Yeah, not all babies are the same. And all they need is love? Really? I'm sure Izzie would love to just be loved on all day long, but that won't help us out under saddle nearly as much as correct riding would. I personally think you're doing a fantastic job with him, and you are battling EPM. That is going to make the rides trickier than they normally would be. Some people. I can totally understand your frustration there, even if she did mean well. I understand on the cost  that is pricey, but I'm sure your vet will help you decide what you need to do now!
> 
> Yup, petty stuff gets swept under a lot. We all tend to say things we don't mean to say, so we all just forgive one another. I am one that lacks tact sometimes
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> Yeah, we are slightly obsessed lol
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> You need a trainer that pushes the envelope when they are ready! It's good to challenge them just a little bit. It's not like you're asking him to do one tempis
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> just a slightly more challenging movement. I totally understand the sensitive to the environment. I would not peg him as a true hot horse because you can ride him, and ride him well. He doesn't seem to want to jump out of his skin at the slightest difference in work. Though, I may have a very different idea of a hot horse


Exactly. Hopefully you'll get to have some good sessions with your trainer when you take Izzy up there for training. It is very beneficial to have the trainer see what is going on find a way to work with it. I literally said I don't think I can ride this. The swan neck stemmed from him being so resistant in his back and not wanting to come through. Crookedness from right hind and left shoulder which seems simple but it was like no matter what laterals, halfhalts I did he wouldn't come over his back. It was embarrassing and she initially seemed to think we've just been schooling badly but then she saw him slip out from behind a few times trying to get his hind legs under and how hard it was to ride him straight and was like oh I gotcha. It's not obvious observing, Id have thought he was just crooked and basics were neglected and he's been held together or something but nope. Lol but thank God she redirected our efforts and got it on track. We didn't ask for anything hard, just work into the bridle, walk, trot, canter respond correctly to the aids. Keep the correct rhythm and tempo. 

Some people just think they have the solution for everything. She's mostly had horses who don't take advantage. She means very well but it does annoy me when people talk down to me like I don't know anything or don't know what I'm doing. I rode her horses for a while, so it's like what the heck lol. She thinks she has a special connection with horses that allows this approach to work and we should never hit a horse. Again she's a very kind, well meaning person just a little detached because she hasn't had those experiences. But I'm sure dealing with Izzy, especially as a mostly un handled baby she needed to have the line well set and consistent rules or she'd be a brat or take advantage.

We might have a different definition. In Germany I rode some pretty hot schoolmasters then some really dull ones too. I had horses I rode at home who were pretty hot, as in spooky, jumping out of their skin, nervous/anxious little bombs ready to go off. With work and training they got better and once they trusted me. I always ride legs on with a hot horse, it's counter intuitive but combined with well timed half halts they focus a lot better and are more ridable. I rode those ones best I think because it kept me busy. When I rode them most people wouldn't know it was a hot horse, they just thought I was an ugly rider which I am but I've stopped caring on that one. People used to be surprised when they'd watch me ride then they'd ride the horse and be surprised. I usually got a wow you're actually a good rider and I was like thank you? I care but don't care, I'm not aiming to be a professional anymore and no one totally knows what's going on between rider and horse by observing. What you see can be very different from what is. I think that is what gets so frustrating lol but I think we all get it. I had a trainer I used to work for tell me I shouldn't sit trot because my seat is too loud and I thought my actual seat is pretty quiet but my belly really absorbs the motion. You have to allow that movement or youll lose the suppleness of the back and either hollow out the back or restrict the movement. Want to know how bouncy a horse is, watch the riders belly. I don't know she hasn't ridden in a long time and is more of a theory based person and thinks you can sit still without belly movement. Stupid frustrations







I know I'm not perfect, I know there are many areas I need to improve in but it's annoying when people think because you're not a pretty rider, you're a bad rider or don't know anything like pretty matters more than being effective or having a well trained horse. Sorry that became a rant but it REALLY frustrates me. Because I've seen a lot of riders who can sit pretty with still everything but are pretty ineffective riders. My friend who is a trainer that does trakehners is the same way. She's very tactful and skilled but not a pretty rider, so she doesn't get as much credit even though she's effective. 

That's awesome though but I'd say you're slightly more than slightly obsessed  which isn't a bad thing, just means you're interesting 

But I think honest people are the ones who sometimes lack tact because they're not constantly developing guile or stealth to negotiate and manipulate others. But that's my hypothesis at least lol. But that's the mature way to handle it. No one is perfect and we say stupid stuff sometimes. The important thing is that we understand each other and value the relationship over our pettiness, as long as it was nothing awful or because of a major character flaw or stemming from a toxic person.


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## Tazzie

I do hope so too! I plan to schedule our first lesson of the year after our first show. I wanted to do it sooner, but with her being ouchy it wouldn't be fair at all to her to work that hard. Once she's in a better spot physically, I'll be calling  I'm glad she figured out what was happening! I'm pretty confident that you have been schooling correctly!

That's good she has good horses. I just know a lot of well meaning people with horses that are opinionated and they need rules. Not abuse, but letting them know what is ok and what isn't. Izzie in particular needed to be shown proper rules and know what line she wasn't allowed to cross because of Nick and the kids. I knew what I was doing, but they don't. I didn't need to get someone hurt!

I think your definition is similar to mine, I just didn't write it out as well as I could have :lol: though it is interesting to think about riding legs on all the time. Fortunately, I don't ride hot horses now :lol: And rant away! Who cares what you look like as long as you're effective. I can see how you sit Dante's trot and I've gotta say I'm not sure I could sit it as well as you can :lol: Izzie is pretty easy to trot in general, so I don't typically have to work hard to "look pretty." I'd rather see a not pretty but effective rider over someone who is pretty but you know they are riding a push button horse that will do whatever they ask regardless if they ride it correctly.

Yeah, ok, maybe we are a bit more than slightly obsessed :lol: I'm ok with being interesting.

Oh yeah. There are MANY times I shove my foot in my mouth :lol: it happens haha! But my best friends and I typically have no filter when talking 

So, are you going to ride again today?


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## DanteDressageNerd

frlsgirl said:


> :happydance:
> 
> I just found your journal and love it! I also have an opinionated non-traditional Dressage horse (Morgan mare) so I can totally relate to your ups and downs. He is a very lovely horse.


Howdy. Always good to see other dressage people with something a little different. I've heard of morgans who have done very well in dressage, I wish you both the best  but thank you. I think it's a part of the sport and horses some days are spectacular, some are okay and others are very disheartening. But we keep going anyway, keep learning, keep building, and keep developing.

----

Sounds like a good plan. If you're going to pay for a lesson, might as well have it set up so it can be productive lesson without anything that might cause a confidence issue or pain to push through. 

And I am too. I think we have been schooling well, not perfect but going in the right direction. I really wanted to show her how well we were doing but oh well it was a productive lesson and it was what was best for Dante. 

Absolutely. I'm glad she has too but she knows her limitations which is very good. But I agree youngsters definitely need to know their place, the quicker you sort through any issues and put down consistent guideline it makes the world a much better place for both horse and handler and safer all the way around. I'll say I had a holsteiner who was 17.2h I rode for 2 or 3 years and he was a total butt to handle. I literally had to have a whip in hand to groom him in the cross ties because if you let him have an inch he'd take the next mile by hitting you with his whole head or shoving his whole body into you. That horse you had to be so firm, so quick and aggressive with. He was just a bully. He was raised by someone like the people you described. An older amateur woman bought him as a first horse and basically spoiled him, he had no manners and was FULLY aware of his size. To ride we were a good team but I remember beating the snot out of him a few times before he'd just be respectful. He was SUPER smart and super flexible and strong but a bully. He could be tricky to ride but once you got him forward and respectful he was a wonderful horse to ride. I had a good time riding him but he ended up breaking his shoulder and never really made a full recovery back into work. He's had a lot of problems which is sad :-(

I understand what you mean. You dont ride legs on the whole ride but on and off in coordination with your half halts and core. Keep their focus, ears and attention always on you or they launch. I kinda like riding it sometimes, it's exhilarating but I wouldn't want to show that. I think that's how Dante will be first show, he's a nervous ninny about new things. And yes. I think he's gotten easier to sit but I don't know. I'll say it surprises me how bouncy he actually is because I've ridden warmbloods with big-suspension movement and up and down action who are not as bouncy as he is :/ his canter has gotten a LOT easier to ride. I dont' feel like I'm being tossed around on spin cycle anymore lol. But that's how I feel and I think a lot of people are more experienced value effective riding over pretty riding but a lot of people dont' recognize what is effective or tactful riding, they just see the superficial of what is riding because they don't understand the layers that go into it if that makes sense. For example my friend who is a trainer and we break the babies together, I think part of why we're not as pretty of riders because we never really had money and so we rode whatever we could and we tended to ride green or young horses vs schoolmaster being a rare opportunity, so when we learned to ride we were learning to train a horse vs work on ourselves if that makes sense. And it could be how we're built or proportioned too. I'm pretty unusually built. But anyways the story I was going to is there was a girl who rode a 3rd level schoolmaster at a clinic, her only experience has been with schoolmasters and she is a very pretty rider but not a very useful or effective rider. As in she can ride something trained and do alright but has no idea how to ride a green horse, baby or all pieces that go into developing a horse or really how to get the whole picture on a schoolmaster. Anyways she was watching my friend and I ride and was talking about how much better she could ride Dante or my friends young trakehner mare who is a sensitive, somewhat neurotic girl. She was basically like I'd pull here and kick here or half halt and the horse would be perfect. I could ride those horses so much better basically and I thought girl if you did that on this horse, especially at that time I think she'd have ended up in the wall. She thinks you can just package them up and make them do movements. It's one thing to be watching a clinic and say oh they could do this or this better or notice things because none of us are perfect and that's how we learn but she had her nose in the air about it and was going off with her trainer about how much better she could ride our horses and our poor horses need better riders :lol: blind ignorance, it was funny but like wow really? I can't stand her trainer, she ruined a trakehner youngster I rode for a while. That horse was perfect, it still shocks me how she got him to rear or be naughty because that horse NEVER offered anything naughty under saddle. He could be nervous and needed coaxing and soothing but he wasn't naughty, just okay I'll trust you.

This is from 8 years ago on my eventer.

https://youtu.be/nCvFo6GwFR8

Unfortunately not today but I am riding a young half arab, registered oldenburg named Saturday. We're still in the process of breaking him. We've had a lot of set backs and he's kinda tricky to break. We think he'll be fine once he's broke but it's getting him broke.

This is Saturday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWdXZqad51Y

Greener Dante from November. Bareback because I didn't have a saddle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxwX7KjlHAE

These are some stills, not awesome but better than nothing at all.


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## Tazzie

Exactly! I want her to be comfy because I KNOW Becky will work us. She gives her students their money's worth, that's for sure :lol:

Productive is always good :wink: he's at least trying for you, and that's the best you could ask for right now.

Yeah, I experienced that a little myself growing up. My boss had a huge baby (like, massive; I don't know what he topped out at, but he was close to 18 hands at 2) who could have been a good boy. Then one of the handlers essentially taught him how big he was. You had to have a stud chain to lead him, and carry a whip out to the field if you were getting his buddy. Crossties he was typically okay. Nippy, but corrected well enough. I don't allow nipping. If Izzie gets nippy, treats vanish. She's smart enough to have figured that out, which is good because the kids thoroughly enjoy giving her snacks :lol: as for handling, I can hand the lead to my toddler and he can walk her. I expect her to behave, and she does. I'm very strict with my rules, but praise is plentiful when correct. So, she's spoiled, but not SPOILED.

Ah, ok. I was wondering a little bit there :lol: and I hate when people are like "I could ride that horse so much better." I have a now ex friend tell others I was going to ruin my horse after my fall. Said she would never make it as far as she could with me. This coming from a girl who starved a horse to death, and couldn't ride worth a **** (there is a reason she is no longer my friend, and since she had the body hauled away no proof of what she did). Not much makes me madder than someone ruining a good horse though. Especially when it's through poor riding.

Your eventer was lovely! And sorry you didn't get to ride yesterday :sad: Saturday is adorable, and I love Dante videos! Those stills look nice too!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> Exactly! I want her to be comfy because I KNOW Becky will work us. She gives her students their money's worth, that's for sure
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> Productive is always good
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> Yeah, I experienced that a little myself growing up. My boss had a huge baby (like, massive; I don't know what he topped out at, but he was close to 18 hands at 2) who could have been a good boy. Then one of the handlers essentially taught him how big he was. You had to have a stud chain to lead him, and carry a whip out to the field if you were getting his buddy. Crossties he was typically okay. Nippy, but corrected well enough. I don't allow nipping. If Izzie gets nippy, treats vanish. She's smart enough to have figured that out, which is good because the kids thoroughly enjoy giving her snacks
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> as for handling, I can hand the lead to my toddler and he can walk her. I expect her to behave, and she does. I'm very strict with my rules, but praise is plentiful when correct. So, she's spoiled, but not SPOILED.
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> Ah, ok. I was wondering a little bit there
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> and I hate when people are like "I could ride that horse so much better." I have a now ex friend tell others I was going to ruin my horse after my fall. Said she would never make it as far as she could with me. This coming from a girl who starved a horse to death, and couldn't ride worth a **** (there is a reason she is no longer my friend, and since she had the body hauled away no proof of what she did). Not much makes me madder than someone ruining a good horse though. Especially when it's through poor riding.
> 
> Your eventer was lovely! And sorry you didn't get to ride yesterday
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> Saturday is adorable, and I love Dante videos! Those stills look nice too!


Exactly. Best to get the most out of a lesson and know nothing is bothering her or working with something that is causing her pain or upsetting her. And I think to Arabians tend to be really good kids horses and are very aware of whether they have a child handler or adult. I think some horses are very sensitive to kids. I agree. I can't stand nippy either, it can become a problem but I will say Dante loves it when you tap his teeth with your hand, he's not nippy but I tap his nose he opens his mouth so I tap his teeth and loves it







it cracks me up. 

That's horrible







that really saddens me that anyone would do that. I know it happens all the time but still sick. Don't have a horse unless you can afford to feed it and treat it well. I don't blame you, ex friend for a reason. Some horses are just turds, some genuinely are mean and don't care if they hurt you. Most I think do but some are just awful, though I think some people like to think that isn't true but they're like people. Not everyone is good or reasonable.

Oh yes. That attitude is a big pet peeve of mine. It's mostly the blind arrogance without that person having any experience. Granted the girl was young, I think 20 or 21 but she's got her head pretty far up her butt lol but her trainer is the same way, just masks it better (I've known her trainer for 7yrs, snake in the grass). Super nice and pleasant when she wants something but will stab you in the back if she thinks it will help her somehow. She's super judgmental and thinks she knows absolutely everything, in her mind she's the only person who knows anything. Textbook pretty rider but not effective, there are a lot of holes in her training. Her horses develop a lot of behavioral issues, never truly learn to sit or half halt in a way that promotes true collection. They never really develop impulsin and engagement. Her PSG horse for example went like a 3rd level horse which is why she got 50s. They're never truly on the riders aids but she looks textbook pretty on a horse. Ill admit though sometimes I'll look at a horse and want to see what it'd do with me on it because the rider is making the horse hot or is really digging into them and see what's going on but I also know most of the time people are doing their very best to ride their horse and only know what they know. I get curious looking at some horses. Sometimes I'll be at a clinic and get frustrated because the problem isn't being addressed, just the symptom of why a horse is acting up. Like I don't think you should work on changes and half pass if the horse can't truly accept and reach for the bit and just braces against it. And doesn't really know how to half halt or come back to the rider, is hollow and can't actually collect. I've seen quite a few clinics like that and it's frustrating. Like okay we skipped c-m and picked up at N and expect to work through the whole point of 1st level and 2nd level to school and show 3rd level. Drives me nuts. Anyone can push a horse into movements but to actually train the horse takes time, patience and filling in all those little, boring details to have a successful partnership and create harmony, so it doesn't look stressful. And every ride won't be harmonious and there will be tense moments and struggle but overall building towards the "effortless" appearance, rather than the holding and kicking and grunting lol. 

Yes he was. He was 17h and a powerhouse over fences. He was a phenomenal cross country horse, there is no doubt in my mind he could have been a** eventer with the right person. He just loved it, he was crazy though. Really not happy if all the did was dressage, he was crazy. Even my trainer who never calls any horse crazy says he was crazy but I learned a lot from him. He could be really good and there are a lot of videos I can't access because I wouldn't show them and I don't have the password or login but he was something. He's full TB, unraced. I'd love to have a do over with him but he'd need an eventer life, he wasn't happy as a dressage horse. Lol but then that's why I have Dante, he's my dressage horse. He can jump, I've done 2'6 cross rails in a 4 stride line and he got the distance almost every time and he did one 2ft verticle where he tried. He doesn't love jumping. He doesn't hate it but taking him to a fence isn't like my eventer lol no where close to the same scope or power. Dante jump like a cute children's hunter. Bascule, even knees up and even but no scope lol.

And thank you. Saturday is a special cookie. I have never met a horse that has taken 5 months and still most of the time isn't trustworthy to trot under saddle. We've talked about breaking him German style, just lunging around the arena but this one we don't really trust. I think once he's broke and has some training we can ride through him but he's not broke, unpredictable and has an attitude but is also super belligerent.


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## Tazzie

I think so too. A lot of people notice the change in Izzie as soon as one of my kiddos is up or is leading them. Like "these are my kids, I DARE you to mess with them." I know they will end up stealing her from me :lol: Dante is such a character! I've never heard of a horse enjoying his teeth being tapped!

Yeah, thing was is she COULD afford to feed them. She CHOSE not to. She didn't get off her lazy *** to feed them. It was winter and everyone had blankets on, so the husband didn't realize she wasn't feeding them. After he died, he looked under the blankets of the other two and let out a string of expletives. He started feeding them after that. They are also no longer together.

I do admit I've looked at other horses and wondered what it would be like. And I've gotten to try a few. I've watched others show Izzie, and while they do well, they obviously don't know how to bring out her potential since they don't know her buttons and just how far you can push her. I still don't care if someone is perfectly pretty as a rider if they can't ride at all. My trainer looks ok riding, but her horses sure look lovely!

Lol I have a hard time picturing Dante jumping! We've never tried it with Izzie. Izzie's good with our work, and trail rides. She will climb hills that make ME want to say no thanks.

Yikes :neutral: I hope you guys get him sorted out!


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## DanteDressageNerd

It could also be that she's a mare. I find mares are more perceptive of kids, not always but them seem more mindful. Same with mares I've seen with experienced riders can be a handful but with their owners will be such good babysitters, it's unreal.

That's even worse :-( I can't imagine no feeding them! It takes NOTHING to throw some hay or grain. I'm glad her husband divorced her, it sounds like he needed a better woman in his life anyway. That is genuinely awful and unfortunate. 

With some horses, they really are their owners horse. That is their person and they'll try for their person and give their person things they wont give to other people. Which may seem odd but I think some are really into trust and having a built relationship and aren't into being a "machine" someone gets on and goes around on. When my trainer's ridden Dante, yes she is a MUCH better rider than me and she can get more from him but he fights her on it a lot more than he fights me and will get nasty in a way he won't with me but then he'll go really well too. 

I think cross training is good for them and yes Dante does jump some. I haven't done much other than polls and cavaletti with him in a while but he's really good through polls and cavaletti and he was good when I did the cross rails but I had to remind him to pick up his legs lol. We got our 4 stride line almost every time. The trainer who is here is a GP dressage rider and also does hunters and thinks we could get Dante doing 3ft if I wanted to put the work in lol but I don't have a jumping saddle. I took some of him lunging over a cavaletti. He didn't really jump it but to be fair it's maybe a ft off the ground. He usually is more even in his knees but he was like spastic when he did jump it. The first time I did it and he jumped it knees even with bascule but oh well. We were lunging through it to loosen his back and the vet recommended it for his stifle because he has weak stifles (more so on the right). 

The vet wants us to buy 2 more tubes of marquis to give him :-( so that's another 400. So at this point I've spent 1000 in diagnostics and all kinds of stuff and 1200 in EPM treatment :sad:

But I did at least get to have a REALLY good talk with one of the girls at the barns mom. The daughter is a sweetheart but her mom and I always have good talks. She's a smart, practical, no nonsense woman with a good sense of humor but I basically talked about how I've been getting psychopaths down to a science for profiling. I dont date a lot so the guys I actually got involved with were all psychopaths (earlier I should have used psychopath to describe these guys). I back tracked and remembered some stuff about the engineer and was like yep psychopath. Without a doubt. They can have STRONG connections with animals and kids but not adults. But she's met people like that so she TOTALLY understood what I was talking about and she was like that's odd you're describing a friend's ex husband to a T. But I'm determined not to fall into another trap and determined to educate people about these human predators, most are not murderers but they'll drain your spirit and kill you emotionally if they can. And basically educating that gut instincts can be SO off and so wrong and that when dealing with them you can't trust vibes or gut instincts because in the beginning nothing will seem off or skewed and then you're sucked up into it. For the record and this is aspergers related I am OBSESSED with puzzle. I have to learn everything I can about something when obsessed

Yeah Dante's kinda special. I try to take pictures to show what I mean, he's just odd. My trainer also bought us an OCD present because she didn't like how Dante's bridle sat on his head so we have a new crown piece to fix it lol.


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## Rainaisabelle

Aw he is so gorgeous!


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## Tazzie

It could very well be that too. I do know she's pretty good at determining who is on her back (with me, she will see what she can do; with my husband, she goes wherever he points her, even if that means scaling a tall hill).

He is definitely better off without her. She was insane. Fled the state. Haven't talked to her since all of this was uncovered, and I never would like to again.

Exactly! Her and I have a pretty good understanding, and I know just how to ask for the correct tempo, the correct bend, and the right way to ask for the biggest trot she can do right now. I also know how much I can ask her to sit back and work harder. Not something you'd know unless you rode her often :lol: I know what you're talking about though. You've put in the work. Dante trusts you. And he is definitely not a machine :lol:

I still think he's cute going over the little cavaletti :lol: I do think cross training is beneficial; we just don't have anything to work her over. Nick is supposed to be building me my own cavaletti soon though. And it is definitely good for loosening up the back and helping with strength I think. I've wanted them for years, but Nick kept putting it off. Telling him that's all I want this year for mother's day :lol:

Oh no  I sure hope it helps him though. I understand how you feel with all that money spent though. I hope this is the last round he will need!

That's good you got to have a nice chat with her. I think spreading awareness about that is a good thing too. Sucks there are people out there like that though. I like to live in my own little bubble sometimes and am thankful Nick is "normal" (he's not really normal, but he's not insane or any kind of emotional vampire)

Yay for a new crown piece! And Dante's browband is gorgeous! Is it turquoise and clear?? He's too darn cute!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you  I think he thinks he's pretty darn good looking too.

I think Izzy knows who is on her back and how much is being asked or not asked. I think some of them just know. Like the grey mare Dante is nuzzling she can be a brat when say I ride her or my trainer rides her because she's used to having her way but with her mom if her mom is nervous or unsure she just looks after her and is really a good girl.

Crazy is as crazy does and she sounds like she needed to be institutionalized :/ people can be so dangerous.

I think the sensitive horses or are maybe hotter or more nervous just develop a security with their parent and trust where they know their mom isn't going to ask them anything unfair and there is kinda a certainty or trust. My trainer definitely rode Dante better than I could but he was a little like I'm not sure I want you telling me what to do, I think I rear now, okay that wasn't okay, how about I spook really big, okay that didn't work I'm going to take off, dang it my plans were thwarted like he ran through a check list trying to get out of accepting the outside rein contact lol. Then he was playing with his rhythm and tempo and I was like really you're not that green but she got onto him for it and he was like okay yeah I know how to do that.

Oh yeah polls and cavaletti are great!! Sounds like a good mothers day present  But thank you I think it really helps Dante with the EPM and I think the change of what he's doing is good for him too. He tripped a few times when he started getting tired. And the medication is frustrating but I'd rather treat and do more than necessary than have spent all this money and gotten no where with the treatment. I just think it's rediculous how expensive it is. $200 a tube is crazy! Especially with how common EPM really is.

It really does. I think some people find it hard to believe these kinds of people exist because they've never really encountered one or intimately gotten to know one. They're real pieces of work. Emotional vampire is really a good description, I've heard it but it's true. And I'm glad Nick is normal :lol: normalish or mostly normal is good. Odd enough to be interesting but not so odd that he's dangerous. Psychopaths can be so charming but in a nice, not too charming kind of away. They can be so funny and sarcastic and basically show you who they think you want. They do a lot of research on their "victims" to play whatever role they think will make that person the most vulnerable to their charms. They pull out all the stops. And it seems to me they don't go after weak, dumb or silly women, they go after strong, intelligent women who are big hearted and open to understand them. I think they get more of a kick and are less bored with a challenge than something too easy or gullible. They like testing their skills. I remember the last one when he originally broke up with me said we were too similar and he said something I think he thought I was like him and yes aspergers and psychopathy have some overlap but its totally different. We have to learn how to fake being normal, I'm also very charming in my way but it's genuine. When I want to be around people, I love to entertain, make people smile and laugh. I like making people happy when I can but aspergers have genuine empathy and emotion, sometimes it's limited depending on severity but psychopaths do not have any true empathy. It's all about them. They sometimes can feel for animals in a way they cant for people. Kids and animals can really love them because they're charming. The inner sense can be very misguided.

His brow band is swaroski crystal. I had it made with the middle dark blue than the white crystal and then the light blue crystal. It wasn't too crazy pricey either. I think I paid 130 for it custom. My trainer hates it but I LOVE it. They have SO SO many options it's really cool. I can't remember the name of the Lady but she was at the regional dressage show. 

He's really a very plain mover. I think he moves like a qh with some hock and knee. The only thing I note is he uses his hocks very well, can lift through his shoulders and has a really long neck and short back lol. He can 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JPH7at37Ps

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0qIq_5Wqvw

He moves a lot better under saddle but my trainer's FEI horse is like that (obviously much fancier) but on the lungeline you would never think he was anything spectacular or capable but ridden he's very impressive. He's Legolas 92's brother(Steffen Peters), I think they're from the same farm and move almost identically it's incredible. It's amazing how some of them you can really improve their movement and others it is what it is. Video is Dante undersaddle. I don't feel right sharing my trainer's videos because they're hers and not mine and not public.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq8-9Wz7lNs


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## Dehda01

If you are going to lunge over cavelettis in draws... You need to loosen them so he can raise his head more. Or switch to viennas or side reins where he can raise his head if he needs to. Horses can't see the ground well at that angle. Which is why jumpers/ foxhunters ride with a different head set than
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanteDressageNerd

I don't disagree but I think the length in fine, as does my trainer who set them. Any longer and Id be concerned he'd get caught in them. He can raise his head or lower it though not to the sky. He can lift his head up to look, I agree they could be a hair longer but I don't think this length is detrimental either. Most of the time he goes through them smoothly without trouble, sometimes no but that's normal. The purpose is to ask him to lift through his shoulders and stifles and still work over his back. I think it helps, as does my vet who recommended the exercise for his stifles (originally what all the diagnosis work was for). It also gives him something different to do because we don't have trails and it's pretty cold ATM.


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## whisperbaby22

I'm sorry you are having these expenses right now. With horses, it seems like there's always something. And let me know how you like the crown piece. I make my own bridles, and and always interested in all these new fangalde things.


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## Dehda01

Which is why draws are not preferred when longeing over obstacles. You may want to rig a makeshift Pessoa longeing rig to help capture his backend and engage his backend. 

I have seen some horrific accidents in draws used improperly both under saddle and longeing. JMHO. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Thank you  I think he thinks he's pretty darn good looking too.
> 
> I think Izzy knows who is on her back and how much is being asked or not asked. I think some of them just know. Like the grey mare Dante is nuzzling she can be a brat when say I ride her or my trainer rides her because she's used to having her way but with her mom if her mom is nervous or unsure she just looks after her and is really a good girl.
> 
> Crazy is as crazy does and she sounds like she needed to be institutionalized :/ people can be so dangerous.
> 
> I think the sensitive horses or are maybe hotter or more nervous just develop a security with their parent and trust where they know their mom isn't going to ask them anything unfair and there is kinda a certainty or trust. My trainer definitely rode Dante better than I could but he was a little like I'm not sure I want you telling me what to do, I think I rear now, okay that wasn't okay, how about I spook really big, okay that didn't work I'm going to take off, dang it my plans were thwarted like he ran through a check list trying to get out of accepting the outside rein contact lol. Then he was playing with his rhythm and tempo and I was like really you're not that green but she got onto him for it and he was like okay yeah I know how to do that.
> 
> Oh yeah polls and cavaletti are great!! Sounds like a good mothers day present  But thank you I think it really helps Dante with the EPM and I think the change of what he's doing is good for him too. He tripped a few times when he started getting tired. And the medication is frustrating but I'd rather treat and do more than necessary than have spent all this money and gotten no where with the treatment. I just think it's rediculous how expensive it is. $200 a tube is crazy! Especially with how common EPM really is.
> 
> It really does. I think some people find it hard to believe these kinds of people exist because they've never really encountered one or intimately gotten to know one. They're real pieces of work. Emotional vampire is really a good description, I've heard it but it's true. And I'm glad Nick is normal :lol: normalish or mostly normal is good. Odd enough to be interesting but not so odd that he's dangerous. Psychopaths can be so charming but in a nice, not too charming kind of away. They can be so funny and sarcastic and basically show you who they think you want. They do a lot of research on their "victims" to play whatever role they think will make that person the most vulnerable to their charms. They pull out all the stops. And it seems to me they don't go after weak, dumb or silly women, they go after strong, intelligent women who are big hearted and open to understand them. I think they get more of a kick and are less bored with a challenge than something too easy or gullible. They like testing their skills. I remember the last one when he originally broke up with me said we were too similar and he said something I think he thought I was like him and yes aspergers and psychopathy have some overlap but its totally different. We have to learn how to fake being normal, I'm also very charming in my way but it's genuine. When I want to be around people, I love to entertain, make people smile and laugh. I like making people happy when I can but aspergers have genuine empathy and emotion, sometimes it's limited depending on severity but psychopaths do not have any true empathy. It's all about them. They sometimes can feel for animals in a way they cant for people. Kids and animals can really love them because they're charming. The inner sense can be very misguided.
> 
> His brow band is swaroski crystal. I had it made with the middle dark blue than the white crystal and then the light blue crystal. It wasn't too crazy pricey either. I think I paid 130 for it custom. My trainer hates it but I LOVE it. They have SO SO many options it's really cool. I can't remember the name of the Lady but she was at the regional dressage show.
> 
> He's really a very plain mover. I think he moves like a qh with some hock and knee. The only thing I note is he uses his hocks very well, can lift through his shoulders and has a really long neck and short back lol. He can
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JPH7at37Ps
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0qIq_5Wqvw
> 
> He moves a lot better under saddle but my trainer's FEI horse is like that (obviously much fancier) but on the lungeline you would never think he was anything spectacular or capable but ridden he's very impressive. He's Legolas 92's brother(Steffen Peters), I think they're from the same farm and move almost identically it's incredible. It's amazing how some of them you can really improve their movement and others it is what it is. Video is Dante undersaddle. I don't feel right sharing my trainer's videos because they're hers and not mine and not public.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq8-9Wz7lNs


She's definitely known from the start :lol: she's too dang smart for her own good.

I wish she had been... not one to walk around that's for sure.

I can just picture that :lol: I know that checklist very well, and I can see how he would try it to get out of doing what your trainer wanted. I'm sure you're trainer rode him well, but I'm also sure you could get that little extra out of him that he would reserve for you :wink:

I think it would be a nice present too :lol: and I could see how they would help with the EPM. Kind of help him realize where his feet are and that he does in fact need to lift them. I totally understand the frustration on cost! Medication (horses and human!!) are insanely priced. I really do hope these two additional doses help him though.

That's probably why I haven't encountered people like that really. I'm pretty dang gullible :lol: I may have sass and spunk and independence, but I am easily tricked sometimes. Hopefully though your days of running into those psychopaths is over!

Nice! I have one right now, and a back up one of sorts, but I like sparkly :lol: Nick would tell me no, but I'd totally get one that's more blingy! I joke I chose the wrong discipline :lol:

I think he looks pretty good really. Under saddle is definitely better, but how many horses like to really pull out some moves when they don't *have* to. I know some do, but I do think most would rather conserve that energy :lol:

I love the videos though! Makes me want some poles and cavaletti. Soon!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Dehda01 said:


> Which is why draws are not preferred when longeing over obstacles. You may want to rig a makeshift Pessoa longeing rig to help capture his backend and engage his backend.
> 
> I have seen some horrific accidents in draws used improperly both under saddle and longeing. JMHO.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I respect your opinion but I do not think this is an example of abuse of draw reins. It might not be the best method but that doesn't mean it's dangerous or a bad method either. You don't have to agree with me, it's why we have a forum to exchange ideas and varying opinions. 

The purpose of the cavaletti and poles is to ask him to lift up and over, if I just wanted to engage his back end I'd be on his back because I can do that better undersaddle than on a lungeline but this is an exercise recommended to me by my vet to improve his stifles. I also talked to my trainer about it and we have also found it has improved his mental attitude to have something different to do. She also saw him lunge yesterday. The purpose of draws or side reins is to have a connection to his mouth and encourage him to step under and over his back rather than out and behind with his back end. We're conditioning the muscles surrounding his stifle to increase stability. 

------

Whisperbaby22- I really like the crown piece so far, it has quite a bit of padding and I guess it's very good for when we get the double bridle to relieve pressure off of the poll and it lifted the bridle up a little bit. My trainer also had this special noseband that she borrowed down in FL that she said worked really well on some horses. It's a weird thing and very expensive. 

But thank you. On the medical expenses I'm kinda upset about it because it's alot of money but I think we all go through it at some time and I'm counting my lucky stars we found it, so we could treat him before it became a problem. I just think it's a shame treatment is so expensive for how common EPM is. I'm also thankful that his mental attitude has gotten a lot better, he seems much more pleasant and happy now than he did a month ago. I think the treatment is apart of that.

I think it's really cool you make your own bridles!! That's really awesome! Do you have pictures of bridles you've made?

---------

Smart is never a bad thing, it just needs someone who understand that they may be out smarted from time to time or need to have a good systematic approach to developing the horse.

If I know someone is crazy or dangerous I usually distance myself very carefully. and I never ever let them know what I think. I fear living in fear.

Oh he put her through it all just because I think if he knows you know something but he's not familiar with you, he has to test and figure out whether the person is "worthy" of being his leader and rider. If he doesn't' look at you as his leader, he can be pretty hostile but no doubt Izzy is the same way. I think they need to be well respected but also tactfully led with no bluffs or sway. Just clear, consistent expectations.

It would and fortunately Nick is skilled so he could probably make something really decent. And exactly, I asked Mark (vet) about it and he said keep riding, keep lunging, still do cavaletti, etc. It's good to keep everything working and connected. But thanks I hope the 2 more syringes will help too. I REALLY don't want to spend 1600 on medicine if it can be helped :lol: I'm not wealthy. 

Count your blessings, there is no need to encounter them if it's not necessary. It's not a necessary experience and I wish I could prevent it but some things you learn the hard way. Sometimes I wish I never met any of them (3) very painful experiences. I felt like an empty hollow of what I once was, I lost all faith in my judgment, perception and completely changed how I view reality but at least I'm finally getting it back together. And I'm the same way. Sarcastic, smart, can be hot headed and feisty but naive. I think I'm less gullible and less easily tricked but they're monsters. All their charm is superficial and hollow, they're empty caskets of what should be a human being but the fake it so well. Some are decent and not overly awful to people but horrendous to the ones they get involved with. The engineer originally broke up with me when I decided to go back to college and basically I don't play the pity party game. I'm more I get it everyone needs their 10 minutes to be down but at some point you have to get up and face the music and what is happening. You can't lay down and give up or surrender. Psychopaths are SUPER sensitive, even that much they take personally and call you cruel and resent you for it. No one knows better than they do, all the stuff they say like that is to lure you in, to feel sorry for them, etc so they can more easily get their hooks into you and manipulate you. If they don't feel they can get that, they bail before you figure out who they are. He also looked very uncomfortable when I told him my ex was a psychopath, amazing how you can allow yourself to be emotionally abused for a year and never think of yourself as a victim. I still don't have a victim mentality but I understand what happened and understand a part of me is lost and that's okay. I'm stronger. And I hope I'm done with them too :lol: I think I'm drawn to them because I have a big personality and they're unique, funny, smart and successful. None of these guys were doing badly. They weren't from bad families. The guys in my family are strong, intelligent and successful but I've NEVER seen them treat a woman or anyone poorly. They're very honorable men. My dad thinks that is why I have been naive to it because I've never seen a man mistreat or disrespect a woman. I wasn't exposed and I know now part of it is the aspergers and being naive and not able to read but I hope I can develop a good enough profile to filter out whose fake and whose real but I thought I knew better before and got taken in by a much more clever one. With them you have to accept they are MUCH better at reading people than you are and MUCH better at deceiving than you are at picking up on the deception. They spend their whole lives learning to play, use, and manipulate. Not a skill most of us have worked on.

You know fair point and thank you. I don't think I'd try my heart out going around either lol. No partnership and not the extra expectation or communication. And poles and cavaletti are great exercises. My vet really like them for horses with stifle issues. And YES you should get a princess Tiara so we can have matching half arab princesses :lol: no worries my trainer hates the browband and that's part of why I bought it lol.


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## Dehda01

This is the last I will say about it. I have to advocate for the horse. 

I never said abuse of draws, simply the act of longeing in the draws may not be serving the purpose you appear to be thinking it is. Longeing in draws make them go long and low, but that often has the opposite effect of not having them fully engage and lift their shoulders and core particularly at his stage of training. Using the viennas to allow him to telescope up, particularly with a butt rope to remind him to engage his back end and use his stifle would be good for body awareness and is one I like to use with any possible neuro horse. A neuro horse doing anything new more than trotting (and accepting them quietly) through cavelettis particularly with a dangling draw is dangerous. 

Even somethings as simple as tellington's polo wrap figure 8 for body awareness. How neuro is he after his first round of Marquis? What was his scale?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanteDressageNerd

Again with all due respect, also advocating for my horse.

He scored in the low range of positive on his EPM test, we decided to treat because he started tripping so we treated. Treatment started 1 month ago. He was not severe, we caught it early. He got worse than it has gradually gotten better. 

This isn't a new exercise to him. He's been doing this for a little while, originally with just poles then a half raised cavaletti and eventually a full cavaletti. After his first round his neurological symptoms have decreased. He's not sliding out from under himself as much or tripping but he's not 100% yet so I talked to my my vet and he recommended buying a few more doses to continue treatment.

I'm not opposed to trying a vienna side rein or using a polo makeshift pessoa system, I think it sounds like a very good idea but I do not think I'm setting my horse up to get hurt either.


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## whisperbaby22

Well I'd like to see this special noseband. I do have a photo of one of my bridles in the tack section, I think the thread went "let's see your hand made tack" or something like that. The cool thing was the responses I got. There are some really talented people here that make the most beautiful stuff. 

Sometimes we just have to agree to disagree. I rarely put up photos of my horse, or respond to training issues, because I would get a lot of grief. First off, I am not that good a rider. My way of training would be laughed and hooted at. It takes some guts to put yourself out there like this thread, I feel like I am learning along with you.


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## DanteDressageNerd

This is the special noseband. It's CRAZY pricey but they have new stuff coming out all the time. I tried to look it up but I believe you. I bet there some very talented leather workers and designers. It's amazing how talented people can be.

https://thedressageconnection.com/product/tota-comfort-noseband-4cm/

But thank you. I like sharing because it's real. None of us are perfect, we're not perfect and our horses aren't perfect. We've all been through different experiences and come from different backgrounds. We're all on a journey at different points and maybe taking different paths and it's just part of the horse-human-life experience. Super cliche, I know but I think it applies and is true. It doesn't necessarily make one path better than the other, just different. And horse people are known for being passionate, compassionate and opinionated. Not a bad thing.


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## Dehda01

As a vet tech, it is just my duty to say something when I see something. I have seen multiple fractured cervical vertebra and worse from just that exact exercise and similar setups over the last 15 years, the last one 3 months ago. I promise, I will let it go now. My own personal aspergers tendencies kicking in too...


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## Dehda01

A friend of mine has the tota comfort nose and and likes it, I think it is a lot of material and prefer to go less is more for most of my horses, but one of my horses is happiest in a micklem bridle.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Smart is never a bad thing, it just needs someone who understand that they may be out smarted from time to time or need to have a good systematic approach to developing the horse.
> 
> If I know someone is crazy or dangerous I usually distance myself very carefully. and I never ever let them know what I think. I fear living in fear.
> 
> Oh he put her through it all just because I think if he knows you know something but he's not familiar with you, he has to test and figure out whether the person is "worthy" of being his leader and rider. If he doesn't' look at you as his leader, he can be pretty hostile but no doubt Izzy is the same way. I think they need to be well respected but also tactfully led with no bluffs or sway. Just clear, consistent expectations.
> 
> It would and fortunately Nick is skilled so he could probably make something really decent. And exactly, I asked Mark (vet) about it and he said keep riding, keep lunging, still do cavaletti, etc. It's good to keep everything working and connected. But thanks I hope the 2 more syringes will help too. I REALLY don't want to spend 1600 on medicine if it can be helped :lol: I'm not wealthy.
> 
> Count your blessings, there is no need to encounter them if it's not necessary. It's not a necessary experience and I wish I could prevent it but some things you learn the hard way. Sometimes I wish I never met any of them (3) very painful experiences. I felt like an empty hollow of what I once was, I lost all faith in my judgment, perception and completely changed how I view reality but at least I'm finally getting it back together. And I'm the same way. Sarcastic, smart, can be hot headed and feisty but naive. I think I'm less gullible and less easily tricked but they're monsters. All their charm is superficial and hollow, they're empty caskets of what should be a human being but the fake it so well. Some are decent and not overly awful to people but horrendous to the ones they get involved with. The engineer originally broke up with me when I decided to go back to college and basically I don't play the pity party game. I'm more I get it everyone needs their 10 minutes to be down but at some point you have to get up and face the music and what is happening. You can't lay down and give up or surrender. Psychopaths are SUPER sensitive, even that much they take personally and call you cruel and resent you for it. No one knows better than they do, all the stuff they say like that is to lure you in, to feel sorry for them, etc so they can more easily get their hooks into you and manipulate you. If they don't feel they can get that, they bail before you figure out who they are. He also looked very uncomfortable when I told him my ex was a psychopath, amazing how you can allow yourself to be emotionally abused for a year and never think of yourself as a victim. I still don't have a victim mentality but I understand what happened and understand a part of me is lost and that's okay. I'm stronger. And I hope I'm done with them too :lol: I think I'm drawn to them because I have a big personality and they're unique, funny, smart and successful. None of these guys were doing badly. They weren't from bad families. The guys in my family are strong, intelligent and successful but I've NEVER seen them treat a woman or anyone poorly. They're very honorable men. My dad thinks that is why I have been naive to it because I've never seen a man mistreat or disrespect a woman. I wasn't exposed and I know now part of it is the aspergers and being naive and not able to read but I hope I can develop a good enough profile to filter out whose fake and whose real but I thought I knew better before and got taken in by a much more clever one. With them you have to accept they are MUCH better at reading people than you are and MUCH better at deceiving than you are at picking up on the deception. They spend their whole lives learning to play, use, and manipulate. Not a skill most of us have worked on.
> 
> You know fair point and thank you. I don't think I'd try my heart out going around either lol. No partnership and not the extra expectation or communication. And poles and cavaletti are great exercises. My vet really like them for horses with stifle issues. And YES you should get a princess Tiara so we can have matching half arab princesses :lol: no worries my trainer hates the browband and that's part of why I bought it lol.


I do agree with smart :lol: fortunately she doesn't try to outsmart people like Nick. With him she has the attitude of "ok dad."

Exactly. I was glad when she was no longer in my life. Hurt since we WERE good friends, but I could never associate with someone like her.

Yup! The "I know you know something, but I'm going to test you anyway" way of riding. Totally understand! And yes, if you disrespect Izzie, well, it won't turn out well for you :lol:

I know he could! I just have to get on him to do it! I totally relate with the expense though. That would make me a little sick shelling out that kind of money, but I know it's needed. I'm glad his attitude is improving! Hopefully this will be it and he'll be good to move forward with!

I wouldn't expect a man to be mean to me either. I think a lot of us (until someone gets hurt) doesn't expect that. My dad was always strong too, and kind to my mom. They have their problems, but I believe all couples do. I know Nick and I aren't always sunshine and rainbows :lol: Shame there are people like that out there though that only want to take advantage. It's disgusting.

I sure wouldn't try my heart out :lol: I'd much rather just eat I think. And exactly! If there isn't as much guidance, than why do it? They will do the bare minimum to get by :lol: I may have to! I love Izzie's since it's a fun shape, but I want blingy!! Fortunately my trainer is into bling so she wouldn't hate it I don't think :lol: I would just need Nick to get on board haha!


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol well she probably know he's not going to ask for anything too demanding from her.

I think there is a big sense of relief and loss when you lose people like that from your life. Your grateful but at the same time it doesn't make it hurt any less.

To be honest I don't blame either of them. I think I'd be testy if I was a horse too, like do you know what you're doing? Can I trust you?

I think most healthy couples aren't perfect and if they're passionate still have disputes but at the end of the day are still there to love and support one another. I think sometimes it's hard when you haven't been exposed to that or you arent as prepared for it because it would NEVER cross your mind to make up a whole bunch of junk or to tell person enough truths to systematically earn their trust or lure them into a false sense of security or to play those kinds of games. And you don't always have a sense about these people, even several months in or soemtimes years in. It can be really hard to catch onto it. Some are that good at deception or the victim is that willing to believe the illusion created or you kinda get trapped and are going through the "gas light" effect where you're really under there spell and maybe are aware something isn't right but you keep reasoning out of it, justifying it, giving excuses or whatever else. Love can put you in a fog sometimes. There's a lot that goes into it. Sometimes it's hard to believe that who we fell in love with, isn't who we thought they were and a lot of the times they do just enough to keep you on the hook but not enough to really love you and show how much you mean to them. It's just enough to keep you there.

Aww that's awesome go for bling. Bling is good!!

----

Today was fairly busy. Midterms next week but I'm starting to love all my classes. World Literature has grown on me, we read Euripedes play "Medea" and I LOVE it. I don't agree with certain choices Medea makes but as a character I related to her situation. I talked about emotional abuse, didn't go personal with that but explained how when you experience that kind of betrayal from someone you love so dearly and they've cut you so deeply it can cause mental instability. When you're sense of reality is flipped upside down lol I think most the kids thought I was crazy but I don't care. I don't think they understood what I was saying and that's not a bad thing, they shouldn't. Pain can be maddening.

Also rode Dante and he was good. He tried really hard. He took a while to warm up and to really get him working over his back and really truly through. He was resistant in his back and so it was a pretty delicate dance of half halts, exercises and getting him really through but he did and felt really lovely. I'm wondering if it's something to do with the saddle, it seems not to be fitting him as well. I'm going to talk to my trainer about it. When I put more pressure on him and demanded more, he got a lot better. His mental attitude was very good, he had a few F you moments but once he worked through it he seemed very willing and happy. I dont think he's 100% but he's a lot better than he was.

My trainer also wrote me a really lovely note and said that she thinks I'm a very strong person and she's proud of me for getting help and that I rode Dante really well Sunday, despite how difficult a day it was for him. It was really nice to hear.


----------



## Tazzie

Pretty much :lol: he likes letting her gallop across a field, and she likes that! And no one telling her what pace/tempo to do. Thank goodness I can hop on and still have the horse I handed off :lol:

Exactly. I was devastated when I found out about her neglecting her animals. She always put up the front that she loved and cared for them. Our animals have NEVER looked thin. If anything a few of them may be on the slightly chunky side :lol: though not dangerously so.

Yup! If it's someone other than me or Nick, and they seem to know what they are doing, she will test. Or if they clamp with their legs and keep a tight grip on the reins. She isn't a fan of that :lol: but the girls I've had ride her ride similar to me and can get her to work pretty well. They are a lot less demanding than I am lol

Yeah, I'd worry if we didn't have our arguments. We are both too strong willed to sit quietly haha! And I do know the doing just enough to keep you there. I had a couple of really crappy boyfriends before I found Nick. Like, really crappy. Thankfully I know how much Nick loves me :lol: and he proves it in ways that matter to me. Like taking a day off or a half day off to go to a show :lol: that's pretty big to me.

YES! I need more bling :lol: and you don't remember where you got yours? Because I would probably start there haha!

I'm glad you had a good day though! Who cares if you are the crazy girl in class. I was always that person too since I was an animal science major on main campus (we didn't venture onto main campus often). But no, I don't think they could really grasp what you've been through unless they went through it themselves.

Also glad Dante was good! I'm glad to hear he seems to be doing better! And it wouldn't be Dante if he didn't give you a few F you moments :lol: That was also very sweet of your trainer! She sounds like an all around great person!


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol well a good gallop once in a while probably clear her mind and keep her feeling refreshed. It's good just to do something different sometimes. 

I don't blame you. I think sometimes the hardest part is realizing this person you though you knew so well isn't really who you thought they were. IT causes a deep seeded mistrust or shock or amazement. It's hard :-( but people can always shock you.

Izzy sounds sensitive and reasonable lol. Like I'm not asking for that much but you're on my back, I'm letting you ride me please be respectful. I think sometimes when they have someone riding them that is less demanding they'll sometimes be on their best behavior just because they're like oh this is easy, they're not asking too much from me or they can get really frustrated because the rider isn't as skilled and they're like what are you doing up there? Do you know? lol

lol exactly! If you're passionate there will be outbursts and that's healthy because you're communicating and expressing so you know the love is always there. I'm glad you found a good one. Nick really sounds like a great man and good husband. I think a lot of women have a lot of stories of ****ty men in their lives. They don't have to be a psychopath to treat people horribly but I think it makes you appreciate the good people in your life.

Bring on the bling and thank you glad you were the offbeat one too :lol: I think the best people are the ones who are harmlessly different and think. Actually being able to think things through and for yourself seems to be becoming more and more a super power. It's sad but I find a lot of people don't care to think and just say whatever is convenient. But no I don't think they could understand what I was talking about without having experienced something similar. I don't even know how to describe that kind of pain, it's a lot of different feelings and the self doubt and how could I allow myself to be treated like this for so long to I was in love with you, I would have given you the world and you didn't even care about me enough to consider me a human being or respect me at all. You blamed me for all your problems when I was the one who supported and helped you. I sacrificed a lot for the guy I was with for a year. I think he liked me in his way, psychopaths can like or tolerate people but it doesn't mean they care about them. Most psychopaths choose victims or people they like or enjoy to prey on. But how they like isn't like how we like. They don't care about the person, they're expendable, there is no real attachment outside of what they can take from you.

My trainer (the one in FL) and I have been friends for a long time. She's been pushing me to make the appointment to see a psychiatrist to be on meds for a while. I didn't want to because psych meds scare me but I had a scare, so I accepted I need to be medicated. Most of the time I'm fine but the depression and hypomania/mania really get in the way of me functioning and being a person. When I'm depressed it literally takes EVERYTHING I have just to get up in the morning do simple tasks. I am SO miserable I dont want to live when I'm like that. I don't know how to explain it because normal I'm not like that but depression is so defeated and some thoughts are scary. Than the hypomania/mania is great to begin with. You're more personable, you're more aware and hypersensitive, you're more charismatic and talkative, you're more creative and innovative but it can be scary too. Where you feel like you're so high you can't touch the ground and you have delusional thoughts, you can't empathize because you're so euphoric, elated and excited. It's like your head is in a vortex because you're thinking so fast that you literally skip words and it's hard to calm down. You can't relax. Everything you feel is INTENSE. Anger is bad because it's intensified and your patience isnt the same but mostly it feels like your high. You have really lose inhibition and can say some outrageous things you don't really mean but passion tends to overtake you. Bipolar does not make life easy but I will say I think it's made me a lot more patient, understanding, and wise. You get to see a side of yourself most people don't. For example when I'm manic I can have a really inflated sense of self, I get cocky which I'm not a jerk or condescending to anyone, I don't think of anyone as "less" or anything like that but I guess what it really is a real sense of belief in myself and being really confident which sometimes gets confused with conceited or arrogant. I had a friend tell me once it was all in my head and I could just do yoga and will myself out of depression or mania and I was like that's not how it works. It's not a choice. It's not like I choose to be like this, it's just how it is. No matter how strong or willful you are, it's like fighting and winning battles and still losing the war. I think that's the part people dont always get, it's not a willpower issue. You can't control it, it's not a choice. The brain is physically different and you may not see it from the surface but the person feels it and the MRI sees it too.

------

Wow that got long but still studying. 

Dante was AMAZING tonight!! He was SUCH a good boy. He took a bit to warm up and still had a little tude moments but we growled at him and he was like yikes, I be good. He had such a good attitude and tried really hard. We talked to my trainer here (I have 2) and we decided to school less haunches in and less counter canter. He's getting too good at counter canter and we haven't put on changes, and 2 he knows haunches in and is already using it as an evasion. Tonight he was really good. My trainer also said she has a tube or marquis I can get from her, so that's really helpful!! It's 219 dollars a tube! He was so cute and playful tonight. He licked my face and scratched my shoulder with his nose. He was in everybodies face like hi I'm Dante, want to be my friend? I was so happy to see him so happy. I really think treating him for EPM has made a difference because my friends said it can really affect their mood and temperament. But I forgot how amazing he is to ride when he's just on it, he's so sensitive and responsive. Just position a little like lift a hip or another and that tells him where to put his haunches for straightness or just touch him with your knee for inside bend all the way through the ribcage or allowing your to use half halts and respecting it without a tude. Or you just position and he'll do shoulder in. I mean you still have to ride it but it feels like it takes so little. I will say a straight halt can be frustrating because he is so sensitive. I feel like I breathe wrong and he'll be crooked but I just got to refine myself more to his level.

I take goofy pictures with him lol.


----------



## Tihannah

His running braid looks so good! I'm still working to get Tess's looking that good, but I've actually come to like the way she looks braided more so than with her mane just hanging.

It's so good to hear that he's doing better! They really give us their all, so it feels good to see them comfortable and happy. He is really lucky to have you and have someone tolerant of his tantrums and able to ride through them. Tessa's tantrums are so mild and short-lived that I feel truly lucky. You've done an amazing job with him and I love watching you guys in the saddle!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. I take pride in my running braids :lol: I like it for lessons and clinics, etc because it just keeps the horse's neck clean and keeps the mane out of the way. It just takes lots of practice to do. And his arab bridle path is still growing out, I just think it looks stupid so I've been growing it out. So I have to braid that part, rubber band it and then braid the rest.

But thank you. I'm really glad he's doing better too. I think the EPM was really messing with him. I don't know how tolerant I am of his tantrums, I just look at it like a 3yr old throwing themselves on the ground and flailing all around and not really reacting or paying attention to it just being like oh well you're still doing it anyway and so his tantrums are not what they used to be. I don't "punish" them for it, I just redirect the energy or if it's unusual behavior I'll ask why is he doing this? Is he hurting somewhere? For example I had an extra pad in the thinline one day and he refused to be ridden, wouldn't steer or go forward. I didn't get after him, just was like well we'll take the pad out and he was fine. But thank you. We've come a long way this year 

And that's good. Always preferable not to have ugly tantrums!

----

Today I helped at the barn. I didn't do much with Dante other than feed him and turn him out. But hand walked 3 horses and the 5yr old got a wake up call. When I was a working student/groom I was nicknamed the nazi because I was VERY strict about how I handled other people's horses. I'm not mean or unfair but I was strict. You will stand square in the cross ties and look at nothing. When I handle you, you will be perfect. I did this because when you handle 20 some odd horses a day and have been kicked at or thrown against a stall because a horse doesn't respect space or rules or you almost get trampled on, etc you lose patience pretty quickly and prioritize safety. Especially when handling a bunch of babies like foals and young stallions. 

But we had stallion rules today because Mister 5yr old was so disrespectful about my space and almost jumped on top of me and tried to hit me with his head, was not listening to me as his handler.Safety is first and foremost to me, I don't knock them around or do anything unfairly and I'm quick to reward for the correct answer but I'm pretty sharp and strong in my corrections with something belligerent. So we had a ground manners discussion. Basically prepared him like I would for an inspection so turns on the forehand, turns on the haunches and moving him off of my body and of my space, until it was effortless yielding, backing up, etc. With horses like him you have to be quick to correct and sharp but consistent and fair. Consistent expectations and repercussions and rewards. Must be quick to reward. I just call it stallion rules because I never let a stallions mouth near me or them in my space at all. Some stallions aren't bad but some you give them an inch and next they're slamming their body into you even if they were raised to have good manners. Testosterone is some drug. I remember one this amateur lady had, mind you she was kinda crazy and he was AWFUL because she allowed this young stallion to do whatever he wanted. You had to carry a whip with to handle him, I will say it's SO SO much easier if you just make them walk the tight rope from the get go than having to handle an older stallion whose been shown he's in charge. Like in Germany those horses were made to toe the line, I never saw anyone get after a horse without it being necessary, so most of the time corrections were mild because the issues were addressed from the get go. Just to me I don't play around with manners, it's these are the rules, I am not a horse but I am the boss. Big one is just keeping their attention and focus on you, so I had him stand there, his head wasn't to come into my space, I could walk him off the left or right side. I ask him to move out of my space he moves out, I ask for turn on the forehand or turn on the haunches he does. He stops without hesitation. I just want him listening and paying attention to me.

I'll say this I really prefer sensitive, hot horses to pushy, belligerent, dominant types or not spatially aware horses. Dante has good manners, he's good to handle. I don't consider him hot but he's very aware and sensitive. 

Dante pictures from yesterday. He did lose quite a bit of muscle mass but the vet said that's normal with EPM treatment and not worry. He'll get it back.


----------



## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> lol well a good gallop once in a while probably clear her mind and keep her feeling refreshed. It's good just to do something different sometimes.
> 
> I don't blame you. I think sometimes the hardest part is realizing this person you though you knew so well isn't really who you thought they were. IT causes a deep seeded mistrust or shock or amazement. It's hard :-( but people can always shock you.
> 
> Izzy sounds sensitive and reasonable lol. Like I'm not asking for that much but you're on my back, I'm letting you ride me please be respectful. I think sometimes when they have someone riding them that is less demanding they'll sometimes be on their best behavior just because they're like oh this is easy, they're not asking too much from me or they can get really frustrated because the rider isn't as skilled and they're like what are you doing up there? Do you know? lol
> 
> lol exactly! If you're passionate there will be outbursts and that's healthy because you're communicating and expressing so you know the love is always there. I'm glad you found a good one. Nick really sounds like a great man and good husband. I think a lot of women have a lot of stories of ****ty men in their lives. They don't have to be a psychopath to treat people horribly but I think it makes you appreciate the good people in your life.
> 
> Bring on the bling and thank you glad you were the offbeat one too :lol: I think the best people are the ones who are harmlessly different and think. Actually being able to think things through and for yourself seems to be becoming more and more a super power. It's sad but I find a lot of people don't care to think and just say whatever is convenient. But no I don't think they could understand what I was talking about without having experienced something similar. I don't even know how to describe that kind of pain, it's a lot of different feelings and the self doubt and how could I allow myself to be treated like this for so long to I was in love with you, I would have given you the world and you didn't even care about me enough to consider me a human being or respect me at all. You blamed me for all your problems when I was the one who supported and helped you. I sacrificed a lot for the guy I was with for a year. I think he liked me in his way, psychopaths can like or tolerate people but it doesn't mean they care about them. Most psychopaths choose victims or people they like or enjoy to prey on. But how they like isn't like how we like. They don't care about the person, they're expendable, there is no real attachment outside of what they can take from you.
> 
> My trainer (the one in FL) and I have been friends for a long time. She's been pushing me to make the appointment to see a psychiatrist to be on meds for a while. I didn't want to because psych meds scare me but I had a scare, so I accepted I need to be medicated. Most of the time I'm fine but the depression and hypomania/mania really get in the way of me functioning and being a person. When I'm depressed it literally takes EVERYTHING I have just to get up in the morning do simple tasks. I am SO miserable I dont want to live when I'm like that. I don't know how to explain it because normal I'm not like that but depression is so defeated and some thoughts are scary. Than the hypomania/mania is great to begin with. You're more personable, you're more aware and hypersensitive, you're more charismatic and talkative, you're more creative and innovative but it can be scary too. Where you feel like you're so high you can't touch the ground and you have delusional thoughts, you can't empathize because you're so euphoric, elated and excited. It's like your head is in a vortex because you're thinking so fast that you literally skip words and it's hard to calm down. You can't relax. Everything you feel is INTENSE. Anger is bad because it's intensified and your patience isnt the same but mostly it feels like your high. You have really lose inhibition and can say some outrageous things you don't really mean but passion tends to overtake you. Bipolar does not make life easy but I will say I think it's made me a lot more patient, understanding, and wise. You get to see a side of yourself most people don't. For example when I'm manic I can have a really inflated sense of self, I get cocky which I'm not a jerk or condescending to anyone, I don't think of anyone as "less" or anything like that but I guess what it really is a real sense of belief in myself and being really confident which sometimes gets confused with conceited or arrogant. I had a friend tell me once it was all in my head and I could just do yoga and will myself out of depression or mania and I was like that's not how it works. It's not a choice. It's not like I choose to be like this, it's just how it is. No matter how strong or willful you are, it's like fighting and winning battles and still losing the war. I think that's the part people dont always get, it's not a willpower issue. You can't control it, it's not a choice. The brain is physically different and you may not see it from the surface but the person feels it and the MRI sees it too.
> 
> ------
> 
> Wow that got long but still studying.
> 
> Dante was AMAZING tonight!! He was SUCH a good boy. He took a bit to warm up and still had a little tude moments but we growled at him and he was like yikes, I be good. He had such a good attitude and tried really hard. We talked to my trainer here (I have 2) and we decided to school less haunches in and less counter canter. He's getting too good at counter canter and we haven't put on changes, and 2 he knows haunches in and is already using it as an evasion. Tonight he was really good. My trainer also said she has a tube or marquis I can get from her, so that's really helpful!! It's 219 dollars a tube! He was so cute and playful tonight. He licked my face and scratched my shoulder with his nose. He was in everybodies face like hi I'm Dante, want to be my friend? I was so happy to see him so happy. I really think treating him for EPM has made a difference because my friends said it can really affect their mood and temperament. But I forgot how amazing he is to ride when he's just on it, he's so sensitive and responsive. Just position a little like lift a hip or another and that tells him where to put his haunches for straightness or just touch him with your knee for inside bend all the way through the ribcage or allowing your to use half halts and respecting it without a tude. Or you just position and he'll do shoulder in. I mean you still have to ride it but it feels like it takes so little. I will say a straight halt can be frustrating because he is so sensitive. I feel like I breathe wrong and he'll be crooked but I just got to refine myself more to his level.
> 
> I take goofy pictures with him lol.


Definitely good to do something different! I think we're hoping to take a trail ride this week to get a fun ride in.

Yup. I just choose friends carefully now :neutral:

That is definitely true! She wants to be respected, and won't tolerate it if you aren't. Fortunately, no one has tried to disrespect her at all. And Nick rides her on a looser rein, so he will always be good to go (well, and the fact that he's daddy :lol

Yeah, we can get into it, but it's usually because we are both super strong willed. And we usually keep explaining it and why we feel that way. We work it out.

Exactly!! I love bling :lol: offbeat is best  and hopefully your days with those kind are done :neutral:

I think it may be a good idea to go on something though. It's definitely not a war you can win on your own 

I'm SO glad you had a good ride!! I'm glad he's feeling better! And he is just too handsome! I'm pretty sure I'd enjoyed seeing pictures of him every day :lol:


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## whisperbaby22

The thread was "do you make your own tack". As for the bridle they had that noseband on, first off, that crown buckle has to go. Putting a buckle there is silly. The noseband looks OK if it is not to tight. But it looks like you have to provide your own extra strap so now your bridle has 4 straps. At that price, I would pass.

I wanted to put up some photos of the Spanish Riding School gold bridles, but there may be copyright problems. But if you can find some pictures of these old bridles they are worth looking at. Two straps for the two bits, and it's really hard to tell, but it looks like the noseband just attaches to the snaffle. If there is a third strap for it, it is certainly well concealed beneath the snaffle strap. From the photos in my book, it looks like there is some play in the noseband, it does not look terribly tight. I would love to get a close look at one of them. Since these are show bridles, there is no throatlatch. I have always thought throatlatches on show bridles is a bad idea. For training you need one, of course, but are these people so afraid that the bridle will fall off in the show ring that they must have it? If it is to tight it is interferring. If it is to loose, it is banging on the throat of a horse that is trying to collect. And don't get me started on these weird cranks. They put a lot of pressure right where the horse's teeth are, and it's hard to believe that there is no irritation to the inside of the mouth.

And I never cut a bridle path. Most horses don't care, but I just feel better smoothing the mane under the bridle.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- I'm glad you're getting to do some trail riding with Izzie, that sounds like a blast!

I understand :-( it can be hard to see a person's true colors when you're a genuine person. I think it's hard to imagine how fake some people are or you just dont see it. It's hard. People are a mystery.

I don't blame her at all. Dante's the same way. I think arabians are very sensitive to their rider or handler's energy. And if you have a negative attitude towards them or a I'm going to show you, make you or nasty attitude they fight back with everything they have, rather than wanting to work with you. I really think attitude and approach makes a really big difference with horses. 

No I think that's really good for two passionate people to communicate. Always better than burrying it under the rug and never addressing the issues. At least you guys aren't passive-aggressive about it which I think is WAY WAY healthier than silence and never discussing or addressing issues. I know for myself I could NEVER be with someone passive-aggressive or who let things go and NEVER spoke up to me because I'm either passive or aggressive. Passive aggressive to me is the behavior of a coward who is actually very aggressive in nature but lacks the fortitude to address it or do anything about it. Those people drive me up the wall because I'm pretty straight forward and upfront about things. If I have a problem I'll say something. If it's no big deal and I'm just being sensitive or irrational, I'll hold it together though lol. But I can be pretty haughty, by blood both my parents are from german families. My dad's parents are Germans from Russia and my moms parents are German-dutch and German-Danish. So I definitely have that temper and fortitude so I'm intimidating when my blood is up. I rarely lose my temper but the guys were scared of me because if I was mad, there was always a reason and it wasn't like oh that's cute, it's like oh ****. I think it's because I have a lot of presence and fortitude because I'm very passionate and have that intensity and fire. I'm stubborn, proud, and I'm used to being in charge lol but I can be lead, I'm very respectful and know my place. But a good marine is usually one who knows how to follow orders but has this belligerent flare to them :lol: we're not blind followers, we're marines we think for ourselves. I wasn't ambitious to be the leader or in charge but I used to take charge because the "leader" was incompetent and disorganized, so I'd be like hey ignore them this is our task and how we're going to do it better and make them look good. So I was belligerent but still gave them credit and made them look good. I was getting out too, and honestly the Marines is kind of a popularity contest. And I was very well liked by the higher ups. My friend told me they still talk about me sometimes. It wasn't on purpose but my job required me to work with the different 1st Sgts/Msgts, and SNCOs and officers. They liked talking to me because I had a lot to say and they'd often ask my opinion which was very rewarding. They respected me as a Marine because I was competent, represented our core values well and to them was what a female Marine should be like (except for being lamed up). I was competent, hard working, didn't make excuses, took responsibility and carried out the tasks they asked me to. In a leadership role when you have responsibilities, you can't show weakness. You can't show that you're uncomfortable, even if you screw up because youre so overwhelmed. You HAVE to represent yourself and present the information because it matters. And when the sht hits the fan, you better be the calm one while everyone else is disorganized so you can keep clear headed and say hey this is what we're doing because even if you don't know exactly what you're doing. It's a lot more productive to give people a clear direction and get them focused than to let it go to chaos.

Yay for bling and fun stuff!! And yeah I do too. All I know is next go around, I'm going to be myself but be suspicious from the start. No more smooth talkers, I don't trust guys with game. All of these guys were charismatic, smooth talkers who are superficially charming, intelligent and successful, leadership types because I want an equal. I dont want to settle because I wouldn't be happy but I know there are good guys out there who are maybe less charismatic and charming but still leaders and have a back bone. I can't date a weak guy, I'm too overpowering :lol: and I need someone smart, if you've ever read Much Ado About Nothing I can be a bit like Beatrice if it's a guy I actually like because it's like I have to test them to see if they can match me. And see if they can handle my back handed compliments and flirtatious insults. I have a very complicated personality because I can be SUPER shy and not want to talk to anyone at all or very intense and passionate.

Oh yeah. I know and accept that now too. I just really thought I could fight it on my own. I'm a fighter by nature, stubborn and proud. I'm a Marine through and through but no it's not a fight you can win which can be hard to accept sometimes. I'm worried about the change though, I don't want to lose who I am.

And awww thank you :lol: Dante thinks he's pretty darn handsome too. He poses for pictures, he's a ham! 

----
Whisperbaby22-I'm not sure how that noseband works, it's supposed to be more comfortable for the horse *shrugs* I've never used one or seen one in use. They said they designed it around the nerves in a horse's jaw and face to make it better for them. I don't know exactly. But I agree. I have no interesting in spending 350 dollars for a noseband. 

I've seen the Spanish riding school bridles. Not in person but they're interesting to me. I've never really thought about some of the equipment we use like a throat latch. I know eventing I saw a bridle almost come off a horse's head cross country, I dont remember exactly how it happened (this was 10yrs ago) but I get why it's there. Dressage we don't necessarily need it but we have it. The bridles are designed with them and we just use them for tradition, not necessarily function. I think too tight of cranks are an issue, I know in Germany it amazes me that my trainer and I literally had to pry one off of a horse because we set it like we would at home, snug but not tight and so they would tighten it was up because we tried to make it "loose." I've never seen anything quite like that before.

I just cut mine for a cleaner-sharper appearance and makes braiding easier. It's not necessarily for practical reasons, just style.


----------



## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- I'm glad you're getting to do some trail riding with Izzie, that sounds like a blast!
> 
> I understand :-( it can be hard to see a person's true colors when you're a genuine person. I think it's hard to imagine how fake some people are or you just dont see it. It's hard. People are a mystery.
> 
> I don't blame her at all. Dante's the same way. I think arabians are very sensitive to their rider or handler's energy. And if you have a negative attitude towards them or a I'm going to show you, make you or nasty attitude they fight back with everything they have, rather than wanting to work with you. I really think attitude and approach makes a really big difference with horses.
> 
> No I think that's really good for two passionate people to communicate. Always better than burrying it under the rug and never addressing the issues. At least you guys aren't passive-aggressive about it which I think is WAY WAY healthier than silence and never discussing or addressing issues. I know for myself I could NEVER be with someone passive-aggressive or who let things go and NEVER spoke up to me because I'm either passive or aggressive. Passive aggressive to me is the behavior of a coward who is actually very aggressive in nature but lacks the fortitude to address it or do anything about it. Those people drive me up the wall because I'm pretty straight forward and upfront about things. If I have a problem I'll say something. If it's no big deal and I'm just being sensitive or irrational, I'll hold it together though lol. But I can be pretty haughty, by blood both my parents are from german families. My dad's parents are Germans from Russia and my moms parents are German-dutch and German-Danish. So I definitely have that temper and fortitude so I'm intimidating when my blood is up. I rarely lose my temper but the guys were scared of me because if I was mad, there was always a reason and it wasn't like oh that's cute, it's like oh ****. I think it's because I have a lot of presence and fortitude because I'm very passionate and have that intensity and fire. I'm stubborn, proud, and I'm used to being in charge lol but I can be lead, I'm very respectful and know my place. But a good marine is usually one who knows how to follow orders but has this belligerent flare to them :lol: we're not blind followers, we're marines we think for ourselves. I wasn't ambitious to be the leader or in charge but I used to take charge because the "leader" was incompetent and disorganized, so I'd be like hey ignore them this is our task and how we're going to do it better and make them look good. So I was belligerent but still gave them credit and made them look good. I was getting out too, and honestly the Marines is kind of a popularity contest. And I was very well liked by the higher ups. My friend told me they still talk about me sometimes. It wasn't on purpose but my job required me to work with the different 1st Sgts/Msgts, and SNCOs and officers. They liked talking to me because I had a lot to say and they'd often ask my opinion which was very rewarding. They respected me as a Marine because I was competent, represented our core values well and to them was what a female Marine should be like (except for being lamed up). I was competent, hard working, didn't make excuses, took responsibility and carried out the tasks they asked me to. In a leadership role when you have responsibilities, you can't show weakness. You can't show that you're uncomfortable, even if you screw up because youre so overwhelmed. You HAVE to represent yourself and present the information because it matters. And when the sht hits the fan, you better be the calm one while everyone else is disorganized so you can keep clear headed and say hey this is what we're doing because even if you don't know exactly what you're doing. It's a lot more productive to give people a clear direction and get them focused than to let it go to chaos.
> 
> Yay for bling and fun stuff!! And yeah I do too. All I know is next go around, I'm going to be myself but be suspicious from the start. No more smooth talkers, I don't trust guys with game. All of these guys were charismatic, smooth talkers who are superficially charming, intelligent and successful, leadership types because I want an equal. I dont want to settle because I wouldn't be happy but I know there are good guys out there who are maybe less charismatic and charming but still leaders and have a back bone. I can't date a weak guy, I'm too overpowering :lol: and I need someone smart, if you've ever read Much Ado About Nothing I can be a bit like Beatrice if it's a guy I actually like because it's like I have to test them to see if they can match me. And see if they can handle my back handed compliments and flirtatious insults. I have a very complicated personality because I can be SUPER shy and not want to talk to anyone at all or very intense and passionate.
> 
> Oh yeah. I know and accept that now too. I just really thought I could fight it on my own. I'm a fighter by nature, stubborn and proud. I'm a Marine through and through but no it's not a fight you can win which can be hard to accept sometimes. I'm worried about the change though, I don't want to lose who I am.
> 
> And awww thank you :lol: Dante thinks he's pretty darn handsome too. He poses for pictures, he's a ham!


We love trail rides  always nice to get out just me and Nick on horse back!

Yup, that's exactly it. And people definitely are a mystery sometimes.

They really are! I definitely don't put anyone on her that would try and manhandle her. I once had a moron tell us to break her by yanking her head around to one side, kicking her repeatedly, yank her head the other way, kid repeatedly, and then ride out. I just said "I don't care to disrespect my horse or break her spirit like that, thank you very much." Thankfully Nick agreed with me, going against an old friend. He told me he'd rather do it my way.

We both speak our minds pretty freely about things :lol: there are some things he takes the lead on, and others I take the lead. And I understand with the heritage :lol: Nick is full German. My mom is half Polish, have unknown (we don't know what my grandma was). My dad is German-English and German-Dutch. So we're a mess with regards to heritage :lol:

I totally understand. Nick and I met on match.com :lol: we talked back and forth for a month before I felt comfortable to meet with him. He had NO game. He actually had to drink a beer before he had the courage to talk to me :lol: he's extremely shy around people he doesn't know. He's smart as a whip.

I hope you don't lose who you are either :sad: I can understand why you'd be worried about that, but I do hope it's a good change.

He sure does look like he was posing :lol: did you make it out today??


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## phoenix

So ihavent read through your whole thread but wanted to say super cute horse, his bby pics are adorable. He's a lovely colour, you and him look good together.


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## DanteDressageNerd

No worries I don't expect people to read all of what I write. A lot of is kinda for myself or to share my experiences or learning experiences. I write a lot and it's not stuff everyone is interested in. But thank you. He's a good man, sometimes he's not but even when he's not he's still my kid and I love him lol.

And that's awesome! I think it's really neat that he's so interested in the horses too  that's special!

O_O What!! That's crazy!! I think that's one way to ruin their trust in humans but wow glad you voted against it. That is definitely not the way I do it either. We want them to trust and have faith and be willing to listen to a rider. Not fearful. 

lol I'm glad you know what I'm talking about :lol: I'll sometimes tell people I'm from a german family and they just look at me like what does that even mean? And I'm like it's cultural. My mom for example is really soft spoken but she's scary when she's mad which I've only ever seen once and she had 6ft guys cowering. Granted my mom used to bench press 150lbs. She was a competitive swimmer and athlete. She still looks like she has more muscle definition than I do :/ and nah your heritage isn't too much of a mess lol.

No shame in that. I've done that too and met guys. Today there really aren't communal get togethers and it's kinda how you meet people. Right now I'm not trying just because I've got a lot on my plate and I think I really need to make something of myself first. I want an equal and I want to be seen as an equal. I have a lot of good qualities and a lot of difficult ones too. I'm challenging. And most guys don't want what I am, not for real. They see me as a temporary fascination or they see it as a challenge to conquer. I think that's what it was with the engineer last round lol. Just to say he could, he never cared about me, he could tolerate me, maybe liked me but mostly he liked how I looked. 

I really hope so. I've fairly recently found my confidence and self assurance and I don't want to lose that. I've spent a lot of my life trying to fit the mold other people set for me and trying SO hard to be perfect for everyone. Living for other people, trying to make them happy, always listening and supporting. I did a lot for the sake of appeasement because I wanted to be accepted and liked. And now I'm like this is who I am, this is what I stand for, if you have a problem with that there is the door show yourself out. I don't want to lose my ability to stick up for myself or lose that kind of confidence. I could stick up for others but for whatever reason for a long time I couldn't for myself. 

Yes he does :lol: he's very expressive. And I did see him tonight, we had a lesson and he was wonderful!! We might start introducing half pass soon or in the near future, we discussed that so right now we're putting in the frame work. Today we worked mostly on getting effortless bending and flexion and preparing better quality changes of direction and transitions, so shortening-lengthening transitions, shortening walk, few collected steps. Transitions through shoulder in, circles in shoulder in. Canter we leg yielded him off the outside leg to get better control of the outside shoulder and improve his leg yield in canter and she also gave me a really good idea with the inside rein to really get him connected to the outside rein. We rode in shoulder in most of the ride after he warmed up lol or that's what it felt like but he was really connected, through and felt like he got pretty fancy and expressive. He was a good man, a few times he was a little bit of a jerk but I think his saddle needs to be looked at again, it's not awful but it's not perfect.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad he's started enjoying it too :lol: it certainly makes me happy to have him join me!

Yeah, I was LIVID when he said that. We were all out to dinner, had just finished up, and we were talking about how we were training Izzie. He looked at Nick and said "this is what you do." I made Nick get up and leave. I was DONE. One of the things we love most about Izzie is her spirit, and I refuse to allow it to be crushed.

I do! My mother was called the evil Mrs. Harsch (my maiden name) for when she got mad :lol: and my dad... well, he can be pretty terrifying. Obviously not abusive to us, but he has quite the temper :lol: which is how I know how to handle Nick. He has a pretty good temper. Never at us, but when things he's working on don't go right he can get pretty angry. And I feel like a mess most days :lol:

That is true. There really isn't a way to meet people anymore except online. I only joined because I was tired of dealing with the guys I went to college with. They just... were blah. Nick was already out and working (no college) and had his head on straight. We had a lot of common interests, though people asked if he knew I was crazy into horses before we met. I said if he couldn't figure that out by all the horse pictures on my profile, then he wasn't looking at my profile :lol: That's a shame there are so many men out there only chasing women for their looks. I know woman can be that way too, but it's still crummy.

I think that's huge that you have that now! I still lack that a lot myself, so I can see why you wouldn't want to jeopardize that feeling. I really do hope you don't lose yourself trying to help yourself.

And that is awesome!! I can't wait until you post some new video of it :lol: and it really sounds like he's starting to feel a lot better!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> I'm glad he's started enjoying it too
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> it certainly makes me happy to have him join me!
> 
> Yeah, I was LIVID when he said that. We were all out to dinner, had just finished up, and we were talking about how we were training Izzie. He looked at Nick and said "this is what you do." I made Nick get up and leave. I was DONE. One of the things we love most about Izzie is her spirit, and I refuse to allow it to be crushed.
> 
> I do! My mother was called the evil Mrs. Harsch (my maiden name) for when she got mad
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> and my dad... well, he can be pretty terrifying. Obviously not abusive to us, but he has quite the temper
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> which is how I know how to handle Nick. He has a pretty good temper. Never at us, but when things he's working on don't go right he can get pretty angry. And I feel like a mess most days
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> That is true. There really isn't a way to meet people anymore except online. I only joined because I was tired of dealing with the guys I went to college with. They just... were blah. Nick was already out and working (no college) and had his head on straight. We had a lot of common interests, though people asked if he knew I was crazy into horses before we met. I said if he couldn't figure that out by all the horse pictures on my profile, then he wasn't looking at my profile
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> That's a shame there are so many men out there only chasing women for their looks. I know woman can be that way too, but it's still crummy.
> 
> I think that's huge that you have that now! I still lack that a lot myself, so I can see why you wouldn't want to jeopardize that feeling. I really do hope you don't lose yourself trying to help yourself.
> 
> And that is awesome!! I can't wait until you post some new video of it
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> and it really sounds like he's starting to feel a lot better!


I would be too!! I don't think you'd have broken her spirit but I think you'd have totally forfeited her trust and confidence which is about the same. I just hate those methods, especially with a sensitive horse when you NEED their trust and confidence in you to be able to ride them through "scary" moments and to handle disagreements when they don't understand or get frustrated. You need them to work with you and to ACTIVELY think and participate. Those methods teach them to shut down and creates no confidence or trust in the rider which would be a WAY bigger issue. Besides I think taking your time to break them and getting them to work with you over pressured submission is a million times more successful long term. It's not just getting the job done.








that's too funny. I'm glad you understand the personality and temperament lol. But I think sometimes when we become adults and find ourselves in our mid-late twenties we expect to have our acts together and have all the answers and then we don't it's kinda like well why am I such a mess? Why don't I have it together? But maybe we don't realize other people are in the same boat.

And I entirely understand. The boys in college are young, immature and ideological without the realization of reality and humility. They're so young. They're children to me, I honestly feel mom like around them. So I get it. Real world experience makes a HUGE difference and having been responsible and in leadership roles makes a difference too. I had horse pictures on mine too and said my horse was here before you, if you make me choose it will be the horse. If a guy is offended by that or writes me off he couldn't handle me anyway. And honestly when it comes to appearance, it's ridiculous. I resent it sometimes because I am unique looking. My guy friends called me blonde Jessica Rabbit, I used to get talked to about modeling by photographers but not my thing. I also don't photograph well. But appearance doesn't matter as much as people think. I hate saying stuff like that because it sounds so conceited but my guy friends were like YOU have to be aware because that's why you get taken in and played for a fool. And I need to be more careful because often times it will be the charming psychopath who is confident enough to charm me because I put up so many walls (appearance, sarcasm, intelligence, intimidation) and they find the game exciting for a while, then get bored. And I also value success and leadership ability because I want an equal partnership, I don't want to be boss. I need mutual respect and fidelity. My friends husband who works in psych explained that to me. The engineer was very attractive and I really liked who I thought he was because he seemed like everything I wanted but he told me I'd never be happy with him and he'd let me down which he did when he weasled back into my life and made me believe he really meant he wanted me back in his life. But now I'm glad I got to see who he really was vs seeing who he wanted me to see and thinking I messed up with a really great guy. I learned people aren't who they seem to be, instincts can be wrong and what seems genuine can be faked. 

It is HUGE. I was incredibly insecure for a long time. Incredibly shy. The Marine corps really pushed me outside of my comfort zone and I hate to say it but with all my life experiences and the extreme pain, I think it FORCED me to change. I had really bad anxiety but the Marine Corps with all the pressure and stress kinda whipped it out of me. I think you get to a point where you stop trying to fill the molds others people build for you and start living for yourself. It sounds selfish but I think you get tired of giving people your everything and they don't even care about you and wouldn't jump a puddle to help you when you'd move mountains for them. I've had a few meltdowns to say the least and been broken or smashed to nothing and you lose parts of yourself but gain someone new too. 

And yes! I want some video too! Ill see about maybe getting some video this week, as my sister is in town and might be able to video. But thank you. I'm proud of him, his atttiide is SO SO much better and so we can work through things and build more.


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## Tazzie

Exactly! I want a partner, not one who was beat down into it but wanting to be there on their own. There is a reason I don't talk horses with Nick's friends anymore.

Haha, I can absolutely say we don't have it together :lol: and not ashamed to admit that. One day!

Totally agree! Nick was out there working. Not in a leadership role yet, but working toward it. He's never been anything but equal to me, ever. And I wouldn't allow for me to be under him in a sense either. Sad when a friend is right about a significant other though :sad: and it is a shame some men only see you as a challenge. I do know you are very pretty (from your selfies with Dante :lol so I can see why people would want you to model or men to flock to you. It sucks it's the wrong type though.

I see how that would happen though. Not always the best way to change, but you're better for it now! And no, people that aren't willing to help you at all are not people meant to be in your life, ever. I'm not a selfish person, but I'm not going to keep helping and helping without them willing to do the same thing in return. Best to purge those people out of your life!

Ohhh, yay! That will be awesome! Now I can hardly wait! I'm glad his attitude is a lot better! He really must be feeling a lot better!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Entirely makes sense to me. Especially if you cant reason with them any other ways and they're bent on telling you what to do or treat horses disrespectfully.

lol well at least you both can admit it. I don't have it together either :lol: but we all try right?

Nick sounds like he's a very good man and a good fit for you. It sounds like he's reasonable and fair but has his opinions and viewpoint and will say something about it and you treat each others as equal partners. Always good. I hope one day I can have such a successful relationship. I'm glad you guys found each other 

I can't even go into the psychology of some people. I try to understand their process and why they do things but I will never understand HOW you can do things like that to another human being. I couldn't even treat an enemy the way I've been treated. But thank you :lol: I love taking pictures with him because he makes faces and does weird things like lick my neck or use his lips to scratch my head or shoulders. It's funny.

No it wasn't a good way to have it all happen but apparently it's what I needed to grow a back bone. If you've seen Scrubs, I used to be quite a bit like Elliot Reid. The anxiety, all the stupid little mistakes, being treated like a doormat and looked at as weak and saying stupid stuff and being the person who looks in the mirror and is like why don't I like myself? What's wrong with me? Why am I such a mess? Why can't I just grow up? And I think that moment hit the day the guy I was with for a year said the week before I love you, I can't wait to have a future with you and a week later I found out he started a relationship with someone else (I had suspicions, something felt off) but it was confirmed and he told her I was psycho and all kinds of stuff so she'd stay with him (she did, 20yr old) and then I found out he'd cheated on me a lot and his friends showed me a few. I almost threw up, the girls were so trashy. It was a huge slap across the face, I was like really you couldn't just downgrade you had hit rock bottom? That was ugly but I totally changed after that. That took a LONG time to get over. I don't even remember exactly how I felt, I just remember tearing apart my room and everything in it, feeling like I couldn't breathe to screaming my lungs out. I lost it but at least I had a very good friend to keep me stable and get me through it. I also tried a horse that same day, a thoroughbred. He just didn't have upper level capability and he felt like he had a lameness of some kind but looked sound. And I actually bought Dante 2wks later on Christmas day. My friend invited to go to PA with her and drug me out to an arabian barn where I met and tried Dante and he came down to NC about 3-4 weeks later. Without Dante or my friend I don't know how I would have pulled through :lol: I was pretty much a mess. When things like that happen, they can really be defining moments and it SUCKS but I needed them to happen to get where I am now. Same with the engineer, the emotional attachment wasn't even close to that, what cut so deep with that was I REALLY thought he was a great guy who would never play those kinds of games. Plus he was well into 30s, not a young guy. It was just such a shock because I didn't see it coming, he said some stuff so I know what he is but at the time I was willing to overlook it because he seemed so genuine, so kind and he was SO SO good to his dog had cancer and passed away (part of why we originally broke up). And he'd always ask me about Dante and we had a long conversation after we broke it off and I just supported and listened to him and he never once tried anything, just seemed to need a friend *shrugs* people, some of them are that good at manipulating and playing a game with people's heads. But good riddance to bad rubbish, at least I know I'm not missing out on anything.

Me too :lol: I'm trying for tomorrow but no guarentees. But if the weather is good. Maybe we'll get some video in the outdoor arena.


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## whisperbaby22

Believe me, I am in my 60's, and I am still discovering myself. I think you always do. Plus when you get old the person that is yourself changes a bit, too. Most of the time you don't get this old without going through some physical degradation, but for the most part I have found that people who have a good outlook on life still feel young inside. I have found getting old (and hopefully wiser) has been fun. If that makes any sense.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you for your input  I think I understand what you're saying and I agree. Or at least this is my take on it. Your outlook of your life and how you approach life experiences makes a difference in how you live your life. Having a positive, healthy outlook will help you have a better life and feel better with age. It's fun to age because we're always discovering new things. No matter our age or our experiences, we're always changing through life. I hope I'm still discovering myself when I reach my 60s too. It seems that's the beauty of age becoming wiser, knowing yourself better, understanding others and being more in touch. Knowing what really matters and what is just temporary, unimportant portions.

This is some advice my Dad told me when I was 17 and I still think it's a great message. One day you're going to look in the mirror and realize you're not the most beautiful, the most intelligent, the wisest, the most successful, or even the best person in the world but you are you and you are who you have to live with, so be the best person you can be. To me it seems like a process and we go through many phases and stages as we progress.


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## Skyseternalangel

What a sack your ex was, Cassie... I felt angry just reading what you wrote :/ and then I felt a sliver of your despair. 

I think I have weird empathy vibes going on lately. If I had a man in my life, I would say I'm pregnant cause my hormones are crazy right now. Only happens when Sky is hurt, and I cannot control it. GRRR

But I'm so happy you have Dante and your friend and your trainers and ppl on the forum. You deserve all of it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

He was a piece of work and at the time I was too naive and I really just didn't understand. I wasn't that young, just aspergery. I was relatively innocent and SO SO naive. I really couldn't tell if someone was lying, I really didn't understand manipulation and I still don't get head games. He was wonderful for the first few months. We had a lot of good times together but he was a pathological liar, cheater, manipulator, etc. He played so many games with my head I thought I was the problem. I thought there was something wrong with me. I won't get into details or anything on that but I'll say he kept contacting me until January of this year until I figured how to block him on my phone :lol: just telling me how sorry he was and how perfect I am and how he missed me and our conversations. Still blamed me for the situation and that I needeed to give him a chance to tell his side of the story. How no one could hold a candle to any one of our conversations, etc. He might have meant some of it but most likely they were words chosen to try to manipulate me somehow. Same with the engineer, starts off normal conversation then breaks into I miss you and I think I made a mistake. My dog really liked you and I can't stop thinking about you. You're so pragmatic and brilliant. You know how gorgeous I think you are, you were perfect etc let's have a full discussion about Tesla and electrical theory then we'll talk about physics and quantum mechanics and play logic games, so you think I actually really you but it's all just for show to butter you up to pull one over on you. I learned they don't mean a single word of it and put yourself on caution when it seems too good to be true it's because it probably is. They're just making up whatever they think will earn them favor. They can stoop pretty low, the engineer had us go on a date and look at dogs together while he showed me his families Christmas pictures to try to convince he was legitimate. Even my friends thought he was for real. Nope. He wanted what he wanted and didn't care what he had to say or do to try to show me he was the real thing. Talked about his family and his childhood, how much was true idk. How much was made up, idk. But maybe someone will learn something from my experiences or maybe won't make the same mistake or who knows I believe there is a reason to it all. I can't believe life is just a random occurrence of coincidences and chaos. These experiences teach us something, I wouldn't say the ones like this arent necessary but perhaps to some people they happen to be an example or to be able to provide the right words of advice or wisdom. You don't know.

Nothing wrong with being highly empathetic, we need more empathetic people in this world! There are too many who seem without a conscience, without compassion or concern for anybody or anything but themselves. Empathy is a blessing, even if it hurts sometimes. It's the ability to connect and relate, no shame in that. It's a gift to feel thing deeply or really feel compassion. It sucks too but I think it makes for better hearts. I think sometimes it centers us and helps us to relate to others. I hope Sky feels better soon!! It's never easy when your baby is hurting :-(

But thank you. I don't know that I deserve anything, I don't really think we deserve anything but I like to think there is a kind of justice and karma in the world or at least I hope so :lol: but I am grateful for all the people and animals in my life. I need them more then they know. I think we all need the people in our lives more than they necessarily know. Sometimes someone just says something that makes you smile or someone teaches you something new or you have an opportunity to teach someone something unintentionally.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Entirely makes sense to me. Especially if you cant reason with them any other ways and they're bent on telling you what to do or treat horses disrespectfully.
> 
> lol well at least you both can admit it. I don't have it together either :lol: but we all try right?
> 
> Nick sounds like he's a very good man and a good fit for you. It sounds like he's reasonable and fair but has his opinions and viewpoint and will say something about it and you treat each others as equal partners. Always good. I hope one day I can have such a successful relationship. I'm glad you guys found each other
> 
> I can't even go into the psychology of some people. I try to understand their process and why they do things but I will never understand HOW you can do things like that to another human being. I couldn't even treat an enemy the way I've been treated. But thank you :lol: I love taking pictures with him because he makes faces and does weird things like lick my neck or use his lips to scratch my head or shoulders. It's funny.
> 
> No it wasn't a good way to have it all happen but apparently it's what I needed to grow a back bone. If you've seen Scrubs, I used to be quite a bit like Elliot Reid. The anxiety, all the stupid little mistakes, being treated like a doormat and looked at as weak and saying stupid stuff and being the person who looks in the mirror and is like why don't I like myself? What's wrong with me? Why am I such a mess? Why can't I just grow up? And I think that moment hit the day the guy I was with for a year said the week before I love you, I can't wait to have a future with you and a week later I found out he started a relationship with someone else (I had suspicions, something felt off) but it was confirmed and he told her I was psycho and all kinds of stuff so she'd stay with him (she did, 20yr old) and then I found out he'd cheated on me a lot and his friends showed me a few. I almost threw up, the girls were so trashy. It was a huge slap across the face, I was like really you couldn't just downgrade you had hit rock bottom? That was ugly but I totally changed after that. That took a LONG time to get over. I don't even remember exactly how I felt, I just remember tearing apart my room and everything in it, feeling like I couldn't breathe to screaming my lungs out. I lost it but at least I had a very good friend to keep me stable and get me through it. I also tried a horse that same day, a thoroughbred. He just didn't have upper level capability and he felt like he had a lameness of some kind but looked sound. And I actually bought Dante 2wks later on Christmas day. My friend invited to go to PA with her and drug me out to an arabian barn where I met and tried Dante and he came down to NC about 3-4 weeks later. Without Dante or my friend I don't know how I would have pulled through :lol: I was pretty much a mess. When things like that happen, they can really be defining moments and it SUCKS but I needed them to happen to get where I am now. Same with the engineer, the emotional attachment wasn't even close to that, what cut so deep with that was I REALLY thought he was a great guy who would never play those kinds of games. Plus he was well into 30s, not a young guy. It was just such a shock because I didn't see it coming, he said some stuff so I know what he is but at the time I was willing to overlook it because he seemed so genuine, so kind and he was SO SO good to his dog had cancer and passed away (part of why we originally broke up). And he'd always ask me about Dante and we had a long conversation after we broke it off and I just supported and listened to him and he never once tried anything, just seemed to need a friend *shrugs* people, some of them are that good at manipulating and playing a game with people's heads. But good riddance to bad rubbish, at least I know I'm not missing out on anything.
> 
> Me too :lol: I'm trying for tomorrow but no guarentees. But if the weather is good. Maybe we'll get some video in the outdoor arena.


Yeah, maybe one day we will be remotely together. Right now I don't think we're in the same zip code for having our stuff together :lol:

I am too  I'm sure you'll find someone when you are ready, someone who respects you and doesn't see you as a challenge.

Heck, I don't understand that either. I've never been one to play games with people, so I don't understand the excitement with it. And I'm glad Dante makes you smile  he's a good boy 

Cheating is never a good thing. I've had exes who cheated. They are exes for a reason. I did get pretty mad reading that. What a low life!! I'm glad you had your friend there and that you meant Dante soon after! Sounds like he showed up at the exact right time in your life! I agree though, good riddance to bad rubbish. Neither of those men are going to change. Best to just keep on keeping on!

Ohhh, that'll be good! I know the weather is going to be gorgeous here! Take full advantage of it! And video would be pretty awesome :wink:

Your dad also sounds like a smart man!


----------



## Skyseternalangel

DanteDressageNerd said:


> He was a piece of work and at the time I was too naive and I really just didn't understand. I wasn't that young, just aspergery. I was relatively innocent and SO SO naive. I really couldn't tell if someone was lying, I really didn't understand manipulation and I still don't get head games. He was wonderful for the first few months. We had a lot of good times together but he was a pathological liar, cheater, manipulator, etc. He played so many games with my head I thought I was the problem. I thought there was something wrong with me. I won't get into details or anything on that but I'll say he kept contacting me until January of this year until I figured how to block him on my phone :lol: just telling me how sorry he was and how perfect I am and how he missed me and our conversations. Still blamed me for the situation and that I needeed to give him a chance to tell his side of the story. How no one could hold a candle to any one of our conversations, etc. He might have meant some of it but most likely they were words chosen to try to manipulate me somehow. Same with the engineer, starts off normal conversation then breaks into I miss you and I think I made a mistake. My dog really liked you and I can't stop thinking about you. You're so pragmatic and brilliant. You know how gorgeous I think you are, you were perfect etc let's have a full discussion about Tesla and electrical theory then we'll talk about physics and quantum mechanics and play logic games, so you think I actually really you but it's all just for show to butter you up to pull one over on you. I learned they don't mean a single word of it and put yourself on caution when it seems too good to be true it's because it probably is. They're just making up whatever they think will earn them favor. They can stoop pretty low, the engineer had us go on a date and look at dogs together while he showed me his families Christmas pictures to try to convince he was legitimate. Even my friends thought he was for real. Nope. He wanted what he wanted and didn't care what he had to say or do to try to show me he was the real thing. Talked about his family and his childhood, how much was true idk. How much was made up, idk. But maybe someone will learn something from my experiences or maybe won't make the same mistake or who knows I believe there is a reason to it all. I can't believe life is just a random occurrence of coincidences and chaos. These experiences teach us something, I wouldn't say the ones like this arent necessary but perhaps to some people they happen to be an example or to be able to provide the right words of advice or wisdom. You don't know.
> 
> Nothing wrong with being highly empathetic, we need more empathetic people in this world! There are too many who seem without a conscience, without compassion or concern for anybody or anything but themselves. Empathy is a blessing, even if it hurts sometimes. It's the ability to connect and relate, no shame in that. It's a gift to feel thing deeply or really feel compassion. It sucks too but I think it makes for better hearts. I think sometimes it centers us and helps us to relate to others. I hope Sky feels better soon!! It's never easy when your baby is hurting :-(
> 
> But thank you. I don't know that I deserve anything, I don't really think we deserve anything but I like to think there is a kind of justice and karma in the world or at least I hope so :lol: but I am grateful for all the people and animals in my life. I need them more then they know. I think we all need the people in our lives more than they necessarily know. Sometimes someone just says something that makes you smile or someone teaches you something new or you have an opportunity to teach someone something unintentionally.


I've experienced the "tell you whatever to make you do what they want" guys.... dreadful. I don't know who taught them that, but it's disgraceful and then guys who are actually decent and don't do that get angry at us or are very confused why we don't trust them. So rude and makes me never want to be with anyone. 

Thanks  The bodyworker confirmed via text she's coming today at 4pm... we shall see!

I've always been empathetic but lately it's a little intense, like crying and stuff... not my favorite thing to experience. 

I hope you and Dante have a great day today


----------



## frlsgirl

Hi Cass! Was just catching up on your posts; longeing devices are very controversial; some people are totally against them; others are will use a variety of devices depending on the horse's needs. It sounds like you are working with an experienced, educated and capable trainer, so you and your horse will probably be totally fine 

I personally have used every longeing device on the market except for DeGouge and draw reins; what's worked best for my horse are the vienna reins and German neck stretcher; regular side reins just seem to make my horse uncomfortable, the Chambon only comes in horse size and even after punching extra holes in the leather, it didn't make a significant difference; plus it doesn't do anything for falling in or out of the circle.

I prefer to longe "naked" with just a cavesson and the longe line clasped into the center ring; the only problem with longeing naked is that it's much harder to control the shoulder and that can cause problems because she already has an ouchy, overused left shoulder.

Anyway, long story short, it's a very grey topic and I'm glad you have a good trainer to work with.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie-We can only hope :lol: and maybe not *shrugs* I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I have it together then I realize how much help I need lol.

I really hope I find someone good someday too. I don't know what it feels like to be involved with an actually decent guy who'd be good for me. 

Same here. I don't get the toying, manipulation or games. I don't do them, they don't make sense to me and seems like a waste of energy and when it blows up in people's faces or causes someone pain, I don't get how you can do that. I don't get it. I can't see the win, besides that it's somehow entertaining to them and/or they make short-term plans, not long term decisions. Short term goal oriented, not long term. They're looking for temporary satisfaction or a distraction from the misery they feel inside. Good people don't treat others as disposable. They don't look at people as pawns, they don't play games with your head. Doing that stuff is intentional, they know they're doing it and they'll play innocent and blame you for it. They're not worth anything but to drop them and get away.

And yes I'm very grateful to my friends and Dante. He really came at the right moment, I just fell in love and I watched the video of me on him and said this is my horse and found the money to buy him. I watched him free lunge and after that I thought well he's cute, whatever then we all loved on him and I was like nope. Out of my budget so I walked away and he came trotting up behind him and stuck his head in my arms and I was like I'll take him. The trainer said don't you want to try him first? And I said, yeah I probably should and he was really good, spooky and super green but good. He really is a good boy, I think the EPM was really messing with his head. He's definitely opinionated and can be pretty belligerent but as long as you give him a mission and are fair about it he goes into work mode. 

I think unfortunately a lot of us have experienced what it's like to be cheated on :-( it really sucks and hurts in a way you can't describe to people. The betrayal sinks in pretty deep. And no. Neither of them will ever change, that's who they are at their core. People can change but hearts seldom change. Someone capable of treating another like that, anyone like that isn't someone I want in my life. Good people don't treat others like that, even if no one else sees it. If they're capable of it, they're not a good person. Even if most of the time they don't treat others like that, the fact that they can especially towards someone whose been good to them, tells you everything you ever need to know about them. And I'm not saying that I was or am perfect but I've never been unfair or betrayed any of them. And the other thing is when people do that [email protected] it's not a reflection of you, it's a reflection of them and the ugliness and pettiness of who they are as people. 

And yes he is. He's very wise, I admire him in a lot of ways. He's a very good man I really respect him. He's really driven, I know what motivates him and why he pushes so hard. He says he's failed more than almost anyone in the family but he also has the most success. He's kinda calmed down with age but he's very intense. 

-------------------------------------------------------------
Sky- I have no idea how they become that way. I think they just learn. I think they lack morality and empathy, so they're detached and just don't care. They don't know how to love, they don't know compassion. I've heard some claim they love someone but they love in a possessive way, they dont truly no what it's like to love someone. It's always some kind of reflection of themselves and never an I really care about that person. They don't know what it is to want the best for them, even if it doesnt benefit them at all. They'll almost always choose the selfish path, unless they think appearing selfless will benefit them somehow. It's about appearances, not reality or what they feel. And I don't know that guys who are decent don't understand. I think if they're good men, they'll try to listen and understand what you've been through. If they're worth the effort, they'll make an effort to understand. If they can't understand, it sounds to me like they're still boys or immature and they can be 40 or 50 and still be a boy. I don't think people become men or women until their maturity reflect as such. 

I think you may eventually want to be with someone but my best friend made me say a mantra about how "I'm most likely going to have my heart broken again but that's okay because each heart ache or heart break is one step closer to the person who will make all those experiences worth it, even if the person I end up finding is myself." 

I understand I feel things pretty deeply as well and take things very personally. It's not pleasant but I think it makes for better hearted people, even if the experience is less pleasant. But I think what's really hard to understand when you're someone who feels empathy and really feels things, is people like psychopaths or sociopaths, for them it's not personal. They really dont care who you are, how good you are, how beautiful you are, how kind you are, how smart you are, how accomplished you are or anything else. They really don't care if they hurt you or they see you suffer, they actually find it amusing that you cared enough to hurt. That they impacted you in some way, it's an ego boost to them. To them you were merely convenient or a source of entertainment. But those types are often miserable, they're not happy people except in moments when they're causing pain or playing games. They're lonely, bored and lost. The best revenge is finding happiness, independence and getting away from them and living your own life.

You're welcome. I hope the body worker can figure out what's going on and get Sky feeling well again.

And thank you. I'm hoping to get a video later today. We'll see *fingers crossed* it's such good weather.

-----

That said I'm pretty frustrated with computer science, coding is so frustrating. You can do it technically right and be wrong. I think I'm going to get a tutor to work it out. I think you really see the aspergers in me when it comes to learning stuff like this. It is SO SO SO mind numbingly tedious and detailed and I'm so so so literal, detail oriented, it takes a lot. I was pretty close to ripping my hair out today. It's always the first 2 years I struggle the most with things like this but after I get a solid foundation, I really get it and most of the time know it so thoroughly I'll become better than most and can explain it but it's the fighting and getting there in the beginning and I've tried reading books and read the websites my professor sent me. Talked to my professor on multiple occasions, just trying to work it out. 

But my math professor thinks I'd enjoy advanced mathematical concepts when I'm there. Math is kinda my happy place, it's where I can lose myself and just let the logic take over. It makes sense. There is harmony and peace because it makes sense lol. When you have the right answer, you have it and can prove it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

frlsgirl said:


> Hi Cass! Was just catching up on your posts; longeing devices are very controversial; some people are totally against them; others are will use a variety of devices depending on the horse's needs. It sounds like you are working with an experienced, educated and capable trainer, so you and your horse will probably be totally fine
> 
> I personally have used every longeing device on the market except for DeGouge and draw reins; what's worked best for my horse are the vienna reins and German neck stretcher; regular side reins just seem to make my horse uncomfortable, the Chambon only comes in horse size and even after punching extra holes in the leather, it didn't make a significant difference; plus it doesn't do anything for falling in or out of the circle.
> 
> I prefer to longe "naked" with just a cavesson and the longe line clasped into the center ring; the only problem with longeing naked is that it's much harder to control the shoulder and that can cause problems because she already has an ouchy, overused left shoulder.
> 
> Anyway, long story short, it's a very grey topic and I'm glad you have a good trainer to work with.



Thank you for your input. And I agree. I think a lot of horsemanship in general is a grey area. There are some things that are definitely wrong but I think it's a very opinion based topic which is probably why it is so controversial. 

But thank you. I trust both of my instructors and vet very much. My vet specializes in sport horses, rehab and soundness. One trainer is pretty close to her USDF gold medal, she also does hunters and the other one trains in FL with a international GP rider who trains under Hubertus Schmidt. She also rode eventers and schooled through advanced level in the UK and used to be a racehorse exercise rider. Now she was getting a horse ready to go I1 but he ended up having an injury and they're just bringing him back to full work now, a year later. They both have produced multiple horses and imo are very fair. I've never seen them go overboard or in excess, or push a horse past what they're ready for or capable of. I just respect them lol.

I admit I don't lunge a ton but some days I think it's good for them to kinda have a break without a rider and give them something very clear and direct to work on without worrying about the rider.

But it sounds like you found a good system for you and your mare, though I think sometimes it's better maybe not to have all the pieces if she goes better lunging one way over another but hopefully as she gets stronger and more coordinated it will help her shoulder out. And definitely every horse is different and every situation is different and it can depend on where the horse is in their training or the experience of the handler and whatever. Every horse and situation is different.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie-We can only hope :lol: and maybe not *shrugs* I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I have it together then I realize how much help I need lol.
> 
> I really hope I find someone good someday too. I don't know what it feels like to be involved with an actually decent guy who'd be good for me.
> 
> Same here. I don't get the toying, manipulation or games. I don't do them, they don't make sense to me and seems like a waste of energy and when it blows up in people's faces or causes someone pain, I don't get how you can do that. I don't get it. I can't see the win, besides that it's somehow entertaining to them and/or they make short-term plans, not long term decisions. Short term goal oriented, not long term. They're looking for temporary satisfaction or a distraction from the misery they feel inside. Good people don't treat others as disposable. They don't look at people as pawns, they don't play games with your head. Doing that stuff is intentional, they know they're doing it and they'll play innocent and blame you for it. They're not worth anything but to drop them and get away.
> 
> And yes I'm very grateful to my friends and Dante. He really came at the right moment, I just fell in love and I watched the video of me on him and said this is my horse and found the money to buy him. I watched him free lunge and after that I thought well he's cute, whatever then we all loved on him and I was like nope. Out of my budget so I walked away and he came trotting up behind him and stuck his head in my arms and I was like I'll take him. The trainer said don't you want to try him first? And I said, yeah I probably should and he was really good, spooky and super green but good. He really is a good boy, I think the EPM was really messing with his head. He's definitely opinionated and can be pretty belligerent but as long as you give him a mission and are fair about it he goes into work mode.
> 
> I think unfortunately a lot of us have experienced what it's like to be cheated on :-( it really sucks and hurts in a way you can't describe to people. The betrayal sinks in pretty deep. And no. Neither of them will ever change, that's who they are at their core. People can change but hearts seldom change. Someone capable of treating another like that, anyone like that isn't someone I want in my life. Good people don't treat others like that, even if no one else sees it. If they're capable of it, they're not a good person. Even if most of the time they don't treat others like that, the fact that they can especially towards someone whose been good to them, tells you everything you ever need to know about them. And I'm not saying that I was or am perfect but I've never been unfair or betrayed any of them. And the other thing is when people do that [email protected] it's not a reflection of you, it's a reflection of them and the ugliness and pettiness of who they are as people.
> 
> And yes he is. He's very wise, I admire him in a lot of ways. He's a very good man I really respect him. He's really driven, I know what motivates him and why he pushes so hard. He says he's failed more than almost anyone in the family but he also has the most success. He's kinda calmed down with age but he's very intense.


I have faith you'll find someone  May not be right now, but it'll happen!

Exactly! I prefer honesty and kindness, not mind tricks and games. Those people are very sick individuals.

He's your perfect match, and it sounds like he really chose you. He wasn't about to let you leave without him :lol: buying outside the budget happens sometimes :lol: but worth it in instances like this!

It is sad so many people experience it. One of my exes started messing with my best friend. Two relationships sliced with that one. Definitely a very real pain. But you move on, and you find someone better (well, that's the hope!)

Those that are most successful are usually the ones who failed the most! Sounds like he's not one to give up much.

I do hope you can get a tutor! It's no fun when you're having a rough time with classes. Makes you want to give up. But I know you can do it!!

And I anxiously await how your ride goes tonight!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Okay I REALLY shouldn't be on right now because I had midterms tomorrow but I had to share some of the stills from tonight. The videos probably won't be loaded until tomorrow, so pictures for now! Just letting you know it wasn't a perfect ride at all, I made a lot of mistakes when I was watching the video and he had a tantrum :lol: I don't think that was on video but he bucked and had a little hissy fit, I couldn't put my leg on at all and then he was like OKAY I can be ridden and just so you know if you wonder why I use my leg all the time, it's to push him out to the contact and half halt if that makes sense. I don't use it for "go" it's more for don't get short in the neck, contract, and avoid using your back. So basically leg to half halt, get more bend, flex, reinforce connection between back end and hand, etc. And Dante is almost 16h, not quite but close. I don't know if he'll finish out 16 or not.

Thanks  I appreciate the vote of confidence. I have faith too!

Exactly! I'm the same way and will never understand the behavior. It just seems unnecessary. The right people will be in your life if you just be yourself and allow them to come into your life and let the bad ones flow out.

He was totally worth it!! My bank accounts fine now, thanks to being raised to spend less than you earn. And I'm so thankful for him! I love him SO SO much. He's my kid. He was on his "stranger danger" alert mode with my sister, so ears were pinned back and he was pretty sure he didn't like her or trust her. Then he was like oh I like you, let me take off your clothes :lol: he's very gentle with clothes but he uses his lips then takes a feel with his teeth and will try to undress you if you're not careful. It's hysterical. I should get after him but he's not a biter and he's not very mouthy. He also likes his teeth being tapped and nose tapped. He has a personality but he knows the rules, which is part of what I like about him. I can play with him and he's not going to be naughty or take advantage. He's only really playful with me as well but he likes my sister now too.

That really upset me hearing what your friend and ex did, that's a double wammy. Best friend relationships are pretty special as are romantic ones, I can imagine the pain. That's people :-( There are some truly low quality and value people in this world and it's amazing when you thought they were something else. I'm glad they're not in your life anymore and you found Nick. He sounds really great and hopefully one day I'll find one that good too.

No :lol: my dad is something. He's like this feisty, high strung, little german man. My mom's family is very soft spoken, honor bound and very modest and so they call him arrogant, he can get pretty full of himself. I'll never forget one time with math he was being obnoxious and was pointing to all the problems and was like that's the answer, that's the answer, that's the answer and I was like you know I really hate you sometimes, you're such an @ss and he just wore this cheeky grin like I know I'm pretty wonderful. My children just don't realize the wonder that is me and how blessed they are to have me in their life :lol: he was joking, he wasn't being serious. I was in tears laughing so hard. He's also very kind, as is my mom. They're good people.

I hope so too. I'm just a little autistic maybe they'll understand :lol: no. No excuses but I hope I get a tutor to. I sent my Professor an email asking about tutors. Hopefully he'll know of somebody. I need to be taught one on one. It's REALLY hard. I get mathematics and logic but this is like applying engineering principles and math logic to a new language and I can't quite put all the pieces together. And no it's not fun to struggle. I know you've been there. Animal science and science majors in general are not easy.


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## frlsgirl

Ohhh, I love that first pic! I can see why you used it as an Avatar image; he is really articulating his hock and stepping under his center of gravity well!

Yours throws temper tantrums, too? lol. Mine memorizes tests, so then when I try to ride a different test she pins her ears and says "Idiot, the test calls for left at C, not right!" Sometimes she will just totally ignore my aids and try to ride the test by herself; otherwise it's just ear pinning, prancing and snorting.


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## Tazzie

If only more people could learn to not live outside their means! I know some people don't mind huge credit card debt, but I hate debt of any kind. Just yuck! And I figured your account would be fine now :lol: He was worth it :wink: I'm glad he warmed up to your sister! You guys must be close enough personality wise he was ok with it!

Yup, I was pretty ****ed off about it. They denied it (of course), but guess who is married? Yup, those two. Oh well, Nick is more of a man than that guy ever amounted to :wink: I know you'll find one like him. Just takes wading through the junk first :lol:

He sounds like a hoot! Playful and kind, good combination! Though I could see how it'd be frustrating how he can just answer your homework questions!

Eh, sometimes things don't just click with schoolwork right away. It'll come! And yeah, the funny thing was I hated science in high school. Which is why it's hilarious that that was my major and my career now :lol:

I totally understand about your ride too! We had a not so great ride ourselves last night. Your pictures are awesome though!! And I can't wait to see video! Sassy boy!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you both and yes he definitely has tantrums sometimes :lol: he's something of a primaDante (vet's nickname for him). He's a diva. I usually don't do any set patterns. I wouldn't say I totally wing it but I kinda have a system.

I start walking until he starts feeling like he's more supple over his back then I'll gather him up a little bit and connect him to the bridle, once he's accepted the aids then I ask for trot and basically just use my seat for forward and use the outside rein, sometimes leg for shoulders and to get him going in the right direction, big figures of 8, 20m circles, sometimes 3 loop serpentines. I have a contact but he's not up. Just loose and easy. Then after he loosens up and starts letting me ride him, I let him walk, then I'll gather him up not quite to where I ride him at but then we start work. Usually have a few basic transition steps, if he's running through my outside aids I steer him off my outside rein and leg, if he ignore my half halt through my core, we halt and go back on so he remembers to listen. We aren't schooling more shoulder in, he knows haunches in I barely put too much weight in one seat bone and he's ready for haunches in lol. I don't know it just depends on the day but we never do the same thing over and over or he can be pretty tricky about things.

I was really pretty pleased with him. Unfortunately neither video loaded last night and I had to start over when I got home. They take FOREVER to load. The one video is almost loaded but it's an hour away and I'm not sure if that's the one that needs to be rotated to be facing the right way either :x I know it's a stupid thing but it kinda ticked me off it didn't even load. It usually will. 

lol if only! But that would take too much common sense! Yes he was. I'm usually not reckless like that but I HAD to have this horse. That was my mentality, I know there was NO way for my budget I could find something sound, young and as talented. Part of why I wanted him was he had essentially no training. He was just broke and broke well.

Yikes :neutral: who needs enemies with friends like that. And understandably so, I'd have lost my cool. But of course they would deny it, they know how wrong it was and honestly the way I look at it is why would you want someone capable of devastating another and making the selfish choice without considering how it affects the other person? Nick sounds like 100x the person that boy was. You definitely made out better IMO. Not to bring it up but that's like the engineer I was seeing he told me once he never cheated (I don't know if that's true or not) but say it is but he'd been with a girl who he knew had a bf because she was miserable in her relationship and he knew what that was like and he thought it could have worked out between them but she went back to her bf and I remember thinking you're an idiot. The kind of woman who would cheat on her long term partner and then go right back to him is the kind of person who even with the perfect partner would cheat anytime it wasn't perfect and makeup some drama or sob story to the next person who would listen. Ugh people...the more people I meet and the more I know about the more I want to stay secluded :lol: because that stuff just sickens me. I couldn't do that. I couldn't betray someone's trust, especially someone I care about so it just blows my mind when people do stuff like that. I don't think I could sleep at night knowing I did something like that. A single moment is never worth the long term repercussions or destroying someone's perception of people. Besides that I dont think karma forgets anyone, I don't think she turns a blind eye. I think she remembers.

But I think you're right. Have to kiss a few toads before you can find a Prince. I want someone who knows how to love purely, I want someone who will love and treat me the way I would treat them. Someone I can respect and someone who will stand up to me and challenge me when necessary. I want someone who makes me think and surprises me but in a good way and someone I can't predict. But needs to be emotionally/mentally tough.

Yes he definitely is :lol: I had like 10 text messages from my Dad this morning discussing all the places he's traveling to for work, pictures and things lol. 

That is pretty funny, who'd have thought what you hated the most in HS would eventually become your career and calling? That's pretty cool though. That's how I am too. I hated math in HS (mostly because the education system SUCKED) but now I LOVE it. It's my happy place, like if I'm stressed out or having a bad day. I can sit down and do math problems and feel better. My Professor thinks I'd like an advanced mathematical concepts class which I may do sometime.

I thought you did a good job with Izzy, despite her being difficult. And thank you I thought there were some good shots, the best moments I couldn't get snap shots of but I hope the video will upload soon because this is getting ridiculous :/ they didn't upload at all over night and I had to start over when I got home today.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Well one video finally uploaded. The other one is probably 3-4hrs from being completely uploaded. Kind of a pain and they don't load as good of quality :-( kinda sad about that but oh well.

First minute or so he was kinda having a small tantrum/I don't want to. I think his saddle isn't fitting 100% first shoulder in was hectic and I put too much weight in my inside seat bone, so he thought haunches in, miscommunication my fault. I should have been more focused. I'm mostly trying to get him in my outside rein and respecting my core half halt in the early part, so we can work together. I don't know what my problem with shoulder in was lol I was too hectic and not organized, I think I was trying too hard instead of letting it happen. I had some good shoulder in earlier but it wasn't at an angle to show it then I tried to make him go too steep which caused him to go off balance and in counter canter he would have stayed straight had I not tried to bring his shoulders in but things to note and learn. We did some lengthening and shortening, though the shortening doesnt show at that angle and I should have asked for more in the lengthening. I still think the walk is the hardest gate to ride, this horse is so easy to make go lateral which is part of why I don't ride him up in the walk a whole lot unless I'm doing laterals. I should have ridden the transitions better. I should have kept my leg on and half halted. I also should have prepared my canter to halt better. I was like he feels good, I'm going to stop and finish but I was too abrupt, could have been better planned. Oh well that's why we do these videos so we can see and improve. He was good, I need improvement lol. I felt him wanting to contract in the neck which he does sometimes, trying to throw himself upside down to avoid using his back but you just keep steady and send him on and he goes back. Mostly timing, disorganization, preparation and not keeping focused lol. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79NxAE7jUrc

For comparison here is Dante last year when I tried him.

1st part

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibYEAVa0p2A

2nd part

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=870-39wtIzU


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## Tihannah

I've said this many times before, but I'll say it again. The difference between then and now is truly remarkable! I love seeing the progression you've made with Dante!

I watched the video from yesterday and I think you work through his tantrums beautifully. He seemed a little off and then I read your post above. I, of course, cannot see all those things and it looked like a good ride with just a few hangups along the way. Still leaps and bounds from where you began with him!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. We've come a long way. Where he was over a year ago is pretty normal for a baby. He was basically broke. He really didn't steer well and was kinda like I'm not so sure about go but he was quick to learn. And yeah for the most part it was a good ride. We had some not so hot moments and some really good moments but over all he's SO SO much more ridable, SO much more consistent in the contact (he's tricky about it), so much more respectful and understanding of my half halts and he is a lot more balanced, stronger. Lots of good things. I just wanted to explain the not so stellar things too. But thank you 

And the other video finally loaded and was rotated so it's facing the right way. Starts out with a tantrum, we work out of it fairly quickly. It starts getting good around 1.30. You can't just push his back up and into the contact, you can't make him do it or he stops being compliant and goes into fight mode. I think there is something with the saddle because he's usually not like that, I stayed sitting because it gives me more stability and I can be more consistent and he was definitely already warmed up. My reins are a little long, I didn't realize they were quite that long, I could have shortened them 2-3inches to improve hand position but I get nervous about shortening too much with him because it's hard to get him to use himself properly but he has gotten a lot smooth, he's less smooth when he gets fancy. It takes a lot to get the better movement from him. We did some shortening you can see, not perfect but he does do a few collected steps if you really ask but we never ask him to do it for long at this point. We did some shoulder in before a diagnol and counter canter. I think he's easier to ride counter canter right vs left.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5c4oYweHis


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## Tazzie

Sounds like you got a good workout in though! Lots of fun stuff!

Yeah, I could never do that to anyone, ever. I have never been, nor would I ever have been, the other woman. Ever. I told Nick that if he no longer found me to be what he wanted, at least have the decency to leave me before starting a new relationship. Some people are just disgusting human beings. Definitely have to kiss a few frogs though :lol:

Your dad sounds awesome! :lol:

Yeah, our HS was awful. They rate pretty low to be honest, so I know that didn't help. I still learn better when I'm hands on with things rather than people just trying to feed me information.

And thank you! She can be pretty sassy when she wants to :lol:

Your videos were awesome! And I love the comparison! Doesn't even look like the same horse now! You've done a wonderful job working with him! And man can he be sassy :lol: I definitely agree to get the saddle checked out though. Could be bugging him a bit :sad:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> Sounds like you got a good workout in though! Lots of fun stuff!
> 
> Yeah, I could never do that to anyone, ever. I have never been, nor would I ever have been, the other woman. Ever. I told Nick that if he no longer found me to be what he wanted, at least have the decency to leave me before starting a new relationship. Some people are just disgusting human beings. Definitely have to kiss a few frogs though
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Your dad sounds awesome!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, our HS was awful. They rate pretty low to be honest, so I know that didn't help. I still learn better when I'm hands on with things rather than people just trying to feed me information.
> 
> And thank you! She can be pretty sassy when she wants to
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Your videos were awesome! And I love the comparison! Doesn't even look like the same horse now! You've done a wonderful job working with him! And man can he be sassy
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I definitely agree to get the saddle checked out though. Could be bugging him a bit


Oh yes. I'll say sitting Dante's trot has given me abs







I'm not kidding. I do other workouts too, I do leaping squats and pulls ups, planks, stretches, some belly dancing, etc. I cant sit it without exercise or stretching out my hips. Hes a lot less bouncy but still need to be strong. I'm thinking I'm going to see if my tendonosis will let me do distance. I'm like yeah a mile is easy but I haven't run any distance in a LONG time. I used to run about 25+ miles a week and now nothing.

Exactly!! Exactly!! I've never been the "other" woman either. If you're going to step out, break up FIRST or to me it's a reflection of indecent character and selfishness. They're just a shotty person at that point. You put other people first in those situations, its just basic human respect and decency. If you can't break up with the person first, they're just shady and cowardly. I'd never want someone whose done that, either as the other person or the cheater. Theyre both just as guilty. It's never an accident, it's a conscious choice when people cheat, lie, trick and manipulate. And it's true. It really saddens me how lousy many people's character really is. I think there are a lot of people who don't know how to love, they may love in a possessive, selfish way and call it love but that's not love, its posession and control. But Im also a romantic, I dont think anyone is perfect but there are some choices that are a reflection of character, not a simple mistake. People dont change, their hearts dont change except in VERY rare situations. And it's worse because you can't always tell who is who until they've taken everything they could from you. Being bled dry is how I explain some relationships (friends and romantic). I think it's the aspergers but I was SO naive to that for a long time. I just couldn't comprehend it.

Yeah







he is a pretty awesome individual. Definitely not another one like him, God forbidding. He treats my mom really well too but they treat each other well.

You're welcome







and thank you. When I tried him my trainer said he wouldn't go over 3rd, now I see NO reason why we can't go GP in the next 10 years. He won't be fancy but he can be competent and correct. But thank you. My trainer's have helped me out a LOT with him, he's been really hard to develop and figure out. I couldn't have done it on my own. And yeah he can be pretty saucy, this is pretty mild for him. He's gotten a lot better than he used to be. He literally reared straight up and spun in a circle on his back legs when I asked him to halt on a loose rein last year when he was learning to stand still in a halt. You can't get after him or he takes it to a new level, he used to threaten to rear up in leg yield, if I didn't release in the right time. Now he's more ridable, rearing took a while to cure. It took just putting him into turn on the forehand whenever he'd threaten or making him move off the leg laterally. Can't get after him. Same with forward, if you tell him something and the aid gets stronger than just a signal he'll take it out on you







I think its funny. He's a good horse, he has a good work ethic, and he's very smart. He just needs to be directed and allowed, not restricted or punished. My trainer's both say it's about making him happy and keeping him wanting to do this. 

I think at the end of month the Trilogy saddle fitter will be out to have a look at it *fingers crossed*


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## Tazzie

Maybe you can rub off on me :lol: I don't exercise outside of riding as much as I should. I've been doing better, but I have work to do! I hope you can start increasing your run distance!

So true! It is a conscience decision to cheat. Amusing thing right now, to me at least, is she complains about him all the time publicly. I don't complain about Nick publicly like that. So karma is hitting her :lol: I definitely got the better end of that deal!

Hey, don't cut yourself like that! You as a rider helped with those things too! You worked through it, you being in the saddle. So don't discount yourself!

I'm glad the fitter should be there at the end of the month, and he can hopefully be seen! Well, if they do come!

Did you get a ride in tonight?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Maybe. I do it because I have a lot of pain if I don't :lol: My body is a mess, I laugh at it because it's a little too late to fix it. And because I used to have a weight problem

I hate to say it makes me smile when karma gets her clutches on the people who do wrong by other people. I don't believe in revenge but I do believe in justice. And I think karma has her way of making it around to everyone, even the ones we think they missed. She doesn't forget or exclude anyone. That's like with my psychopaths, I may never see or know what happened to them but I know when you're that ugly a person inside and have that much hate, negativity and cruelty with in yourself, you can't be a happy person and you will set yourself up for a less than charming life. Plus I use them for motivation. I told my psychologist (I check it about once a month) just to keep on track with everything. I look at those experiences as motivation. I see it as F you. No one gets to tell me who I am. No one gets to define me or tell me what I'm capable of and God help me if until my last breath I'm not fighting each and every day to surpass them in every aspect of my life. I will be more successful than them, I will be happier, I will fight each and every day to say you didn't destroy me. I came back better, more fiery and determined than I ever was before. It's my motivation whenever I'm struggling or not getting something or am having a hard time. Some people I know have a hard time seeing this change in me because they remember me as being so sweet and ridiculously nice. I'm still nice but I'm done being a doormat. I have a lot of flaws and issues but I know I have what it takes. I just gotta know when I fail, it's just a matter of time before I succeed. Though I will say in the Marines I used to get told I had a lot of attitude for a white girl :lol: they liked that about me. I used to get told I look so G rated until I open my mouth.

Thank you but I'm just really grateful to them and how much they've helped me. I was having a really hard time with him on my own. He's really hard to ride, he's SO SO SO much better than he used to be but I had to really up my game and feel to ride him well and getting him trained because he was SO crafty about finding ways not to use himself. His neck is so long he can break it up into so many parts and I was honestly used to riding warmboods and thoroughbreds. I'd never ridden anything that could put their body parts in all different places at once. It took a lot but I'm grateful to both of my trainers because they've helped me SO much and I am the only one that rides him. Mari, the trainer here who almost has her gold medal said she thinks Dante is a one person kind of horse and he's very particular about how he's ridden. It's knowing him and him respecting and trusting you that allows for a good ride. He just wants to be respected and understood, as lame as that may sound but that's he rides :lol: you just have to work with him but still be like no we have an expectation, Dante doesnt get to do whatever Dante wants to do. He needs rules but a tact.

Me too. His back shape has changed A LOT from what it was, the angle is different. We can use pads to make it better but it's not quite right. 

I did ride him last night. I think he was a little sore, so I had a very light ride. When they're sore, if they're not terribly sore I will basically just ride a warm up, get him through, using himself well and get off. Because when I used to work out all the time and I'd be really sore I always felt better after doing a light work out but didn't have it to do a full one. I did some sitting trot and asked for some fancy stuff. He was SO bouncy but he was over his back but he was so bouncy from the power and it felt like he was just really expressive and WAY better than last ride but I didn't let myself get greedy so I only asked for a long side and a circle each way like that and then his walk was the best it ever felt, most regular. He didn't feel lateral. But again tried not to get greedy. Our ride was maybe 20 minutes.

Then other stills from the ride. There were some really good moments. And just putting the two videos together on one thing. 1st one is later in the ride, 2nd one is earlier. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79NxAE7jUrc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5c4oYweHis


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## frlsgirl

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Maybe. I do it because I have a lot of pain if I don't :lol: My body is a mess, I laugh at it because it's a little too late to fix it. And because I used to have a weight problem
> 
> I hate to say it makes me smile when karma gets her clutches on the people who do wrong by other people. I don't believe in revenge but I do believe in justice. And I think karma has her way of making it around to everyone, even the ones we think they missed. She doesn't forget or exclude anyone. That's like with my psychopaths, I may never see or know what happened to them but I know when you're that ugly a person inside and have that much hate, negativity and cruelty with in yourself, you can't be a happy person and you will set yourself up for a less than charming life. Plus I use them for motivation. I told my psychologist (I check it about once a month) just to keep on track with everything. I look at those experiences as motivation. I see it as F you. No one gets to tell me who I am. No one gets to define me or tell me what I'm capable of and God help me if until my last breath I'm not fighting each and every day to surpass them in every aspect of my life. I will be more successful than them, I will be happier, I will fight each and every day to say you didn't destroy me. I came back better, more fiery and determined than I ever was before. It's my motivation whenever I'm struggling or not getting something or am having a hard time. Some people I know have a hard time seeing this change in me because they remember me as being so sweet and ridiculously nice. I'm still nice but I'm done being a doormat. I have a lot of flaws and issues but I know I have what it takes. I just gotta know when I fail, it's just a matter of time before I succeed. Though I will say in the Marines I used to get told I had a lot of attitude for a white girl :lol: they liked that about me. I used to get told I look so G rated until I open my mouth.
> 
> Thank you but I'm just really grateful to them and how much they've helped me. I was having a really hard time with him on my own. He's really hard to ride, he's SO SO SO much better than he used to be but I had to really up my game and feel to ride him well and getting him trained because he was SO crafty about finding ways not to use himself. His neck is so long he can break it up into so many parts and I was honestly used to riding warmboods and thoroughbreds. I'd never ridden anything that could put their body parts in all different places at once. It took a lot but I'm grateful to both of my trainers because they've helped me SO much and I am the only one that rides him. Mari, the trainer here who almost has her gold medal said she thinks Dante is a one person kind of horse and he's very particular about how he's ridden. It's knowing him and him respecting and trusting you that allows for a good ride. He just wants to be respected and understood, as lame as that may sound but that's he rides :lol: you just have to work with him but still be like no we have an expectation, Dante doesnt get to do whatever Dante wants to do. He needs rules but a tact.
> 
> Me too. His back shape has changed A LOT from what it was, the angle is different. We can use pads to make it better but it's not quite right.
> 
> I did ride him last night. I think he was a little sore, so I had a very light ride. When they're sore, if they're not terribly sore I will basically just ride a warm up, get him through, using himself well and get off. Because when I used to work out all the time and I'd be really sore I always felt better after doing a light work out but didn't have it to do a full one. I did some sitting trot and asked for some fancy stuff. He was SO bouncy but he was over his back but he was so bouncy from the power and it felt like he was just really expressive and WAY better than last ride but I didn't let myself get greedy so I only asked for a long side and a circle each way like that and then his walk was the best it ever felt, most regular. He didn't feel lateral. But again tried not to get greedy. Our ride was maybe 20 minutes.
> 
> Then other stills from the ride. There were some really good moments. And just putting the two videos together on one thing. 1st one is later in the ride, 2nd one is earlier.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79NxAE7jUrc
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5c4oYweHis


I can definitely see that "Diva" in him when he has to go past that other horse, lol. I'm amazed at the pixel quality; are these stills from an Iphone Cam?


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## Tazzie

I'm still struggling with the weight thing, which is why I need to workout more :lol:

Oh yeah, karma doesn't miss anyone. It's why I try to be a decent person. I do have to laugh at the G rated until you open your mouth :lol: I totally understand that!

I feel you on the pads. But at least you're working on keeping him comfortable until he can be seen!

I understand that feeling of being sore too. Light is always better than nothing! I'm glad he was so good for you though! And yay for a good walk!

I'll have to watch the videos later  I do love the pictures though!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Oh yes Dante is a princess :lol: And no I have Droid turbo II I'm not a big apple fan, so as a general rule I avoid the Iphones :lol: I'm going into computer science, so I make that my excuse for not liking macs or apple as much. Not as good for programming.

And the videos are the ones I already posted. I just wanted them both in the same post, rather than separate. Mari, my trainer here was joking about past lives and I said I think Dante was an arabian princess in a former life and she was like Dante was definitely a princess in his former life. He complains big time if his stuff isn't fit pretty perfectly or something isn't right. He one time refused to be ridden because I had an 1/8 of an inch extra pad under his saddle :lol: it was hilarious. He was like I don't go forward, I stop and kick out if you urge me to move forward. So I got off and I took the extra pad out and he was fine. But that same sensitivity and awareness is also what makes him a good dressage horse IMO. He has his quirks but he wants to do well and he likes his job. He needs to think things are kinda his idea in a way. You can't make him do anything, you suggest and encourage. He's like riding a mare which I actually prefer mares to geldings, so I'm not complaining :lol: he'll work his heart out for you. He knows he's a boy though.

I understand. I didn't really consistently figure it out for a long time. Now pretty much everything I eat is from TraderJoes. I don't eat anything that has too many ingredients on it. I very rarely eat out. I do eat some sweets but I try to keep them small. I also had to realize I only need 1500-1700 calories a day. Everybody has a different body, for example I can't eat a lot of pasta or bread or sugars or I gain weight like crazy, where as other people eating fatty foods will do it. So I still will have pasta and cheese or something sweet but bite size portions.

No karma does not which is why I don't believe in revenge, you only hurt yourself in the long run. However I believe in moving past, being a better person and doing better than they do. And yes lol. Always good to have the face of an Angel but always have another side to you :lol:

And absolutely, working the muscles lightly helps with muscle recovery. And helps make it less sore. He was pretty crabby yesterday though on the ground. Ears pinned almost the entire time I was with him. He's pretty dramatic when he's not happy. I massaged his chest a little bit and he got really upset then he relaxed, so I knew he was muscle sore.

Also had a good talk with my computer science professor. I'm getting it better than I thought but it is HARD. He looked over my program and said except for a few minor error, my code was pretty correct which is GOOD. It needed better formatting so it was easier to read but he helped me out a lot. Computer science midterm next week. I am not excited, A LOT of studying this weekend. Yikes. I'm honestly scared :lol:


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## Tazzie

Haha, definitely primaDante! I can just picture his "nope, can't move forward; too much stuff under my saddle." He definitely sounds like a mare under saddle though :lol:

I'm pretty good diet wise, it's the being active outside of the pony that's tough :lol: it's hit and miss with the weather right now, so real outdoor time with the kids is tough. And inside isn't that much of a workout haha! We're doing better though!

Poor Dante, but I'm sure the massage helped about as much as working lightly did! Hopefully he's feeling better now!

I'm glad you had a good talk with him though!! And that you're getting it better than you thought you were! Always a good thing to hear  and good luck with studying! You can do it!


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## DanteDressageNerd

He is definitely like a mare to ride :lol: or at least that's what Mari always says or when I describe what he's like to ride and I'm like nah, he just likes things how he likes it but you can't let him get away with things or he's a brat.

Oh that's good. I just don't know that's just what worked for me. Even when I was super fit and ran all the time, I used get SO SO frustrated because it was like I was never as thin as I wanted to be :lol:

I gave him a massage yesterday and his posture changed, so I think he needed it. I rode him yesterday and he was pretty good. We had a pretty productive ride, it wasn't a hard or long ride but we did shortening-lengthening. I played more with shorten and lengthening the canter and some simple changes and did shoulder in through transitions both direction to get better bend and he became super fluid with my body, I'd just position and his whole body would follow through. It was a pretty neat feeling. And then laterals. I had to get after him a few times, he was testing me and I was like no you have to listen and then he was like oh never mind and was very respectful. But he wouldn't be my baby if he didn't protest or let me know his opinion.

And thank you I am too. I'm basically making myself a study guide out of my computer science notes, quizzes and lecture sides and trying to get a more concrete and thorough understanding. I finally figured out a good analogy for my way to learn, it's like a puzzle. I have to learn each individual piece of the puzzle before I can start piecing things together, yet I think most people can kinda start putting parts of the puzzle together (perhaps starting around the edge) where as I am at a loss and can't even start until I understand the individual pieces, then I need verification that I'm doing it right and then I can refer back to pattern recognition and complete the puzzle. It's a frustrating process and a lot of work but hey, it is what it is.

I also received my very own plaque sent to me from my Sgt. It was super sweet of her to do. My favorite part was where it read, "we do not rationalize the insane," it said some other stuff too but that was something between her and me. We used to say about Marines and their craziness we dealt with, I think it originally came from she was really stressed out and I was like it's okay we cannot rationalize the insane. She was a wonderful Sgt to work under, I really admired her leadership and she is definitely a positive influence and role model in my life. It had a misspelled word but the thought was so sweet, I have it on my desk. She meant to give it to me before I left June 30th 2015. She and her husband are leaving for Japan in June.

Had my birthday dinner with my family this weekend (it's next Friday and Dante's is on Wednesday). I'll just say I love them but sometimes they know exactly what bruise to poke. I'm a very passionate woman and I am a closet romantic so they wanted to talk about "modern dating" and I just said, people are more interested in games, lies, manipulation and plays than they are at building something meaningful. And it can be hard to tell whose genuine in their affection or who is playing a game. My dad said he talked to a 35yr old who was quite successful and asked him about it and he said most men aren't interested in building families or stable relationships. We see a girl we like for a little while and if they no longer amuse us we can just go online and easily find someone else There are so many options so many men don't settle or settle down. After he said that, I said that about sums it up.


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## Tazzie

Yeah, not many horses can get away with stuff and not become a brat I don't think.

I'm glad the ride was so good! Always neat when you just think and they do it! And yeah, you'd wonder what is wrong with him if he didn't test you :lol:


A study guide is a good idea! I don't have any idea what it's like to think that way, so I'm of no help. I don't analyze every piece of things :lol:

Awww, that was a nice gesture! Even more so that she had it engraved with your saying on it 

Yeah, modern dating sucks. True, I found Nick online, but thankfully he was old school outside of that. We've been trying to get our friend/barn owner to do online dating, but he's just too shy. Which is a shame because a very sweet guy. I hate though that it just allows more ways for a cheater to cheat, or convince people to not settle down. I know there are a lot of people out there not interested in settling down, but it's sad when it's because they always want to know if there is something better out there. Goes to show the human race, as a majority, is often unpleaseable (not a word, but I'm making it one :lol


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## DanteDressageNerd

I REALLY should not be on atm. I was kinda avoiding writing anything because I don't have time to comment on all the threads I've read and feel rude not responding but I have 2 more midterms tomorrow. Computer Science is tough. I've been studying and actually went through the math department to get some tutoring. I didn't want to pester my Professor too much and the tutoring at the science hall isn't particularly helpful. I need to know the logic and see the answers, so I can know if my logic is correct or not but they don't give answers so I'm kinda left hanging. 

It's kicking my butt. I was going through some of the arithmetic and I was like this doesn't make sense. I can't figure it out, what's going on here? 20 is not 22% of 42 butt he computer reads things differently, so basically I have to work the problem backwards and count only the remainder to understand the calculations. Wierdness. This is why computer science makes me want to rip out my hair. It applies math logic but it's not like real math logic, it's like it's worked through a different filter. It's like learning a new language while applying some kind of math logic and engineering principles. It drives me crazy.

Plus I've been trying not to come on because my ADHD is awful when I REALLY don't want to hit the books :lol: I talked to my Dad and he made fun of me and was like let's make a list of all your handicaps and I was like I'm not even going to comment on that. I'm making it through life. Everybody has struggles. There is a silver lining in it all. My claim is that I'm hilarious :lol:

No definitely not. Most horses need rules. He sometimes frustrates me because you can't be too strict but you can't really let him get away with anything, so it's me figuring out that line sometimes. 

But thank you. I'm glad it was a good ride too. I'm trying to schedule some lessons for this week but my trainer's schedule is hectic and mine is too. So were just trying to cross paths.

It really was!! I sent her a nice text and thanked her and commended her for her leadership skills and she really taught me a lot and pushed me out of my comfort zone with public speaking and confronting people, etc. I'm SO much more normal because of her! She actually grew up in a Detroit in a not so nice area. She kinda grew up rough but is an absolutely amazing person. Her husband is too. He's from Puerto Rico and a really nice, genuine guy but not a push over.

It really does and it's unfortunate. I'm really glad you were able to find Nick. That's the part scares me is even if I like the guy and he seems really great, is that really who he is? Is he who he seems to be? Or is this just part of the game? My sister said because of my handicaps to have her meet the guy, so she call tell me if he's a total douche nugget or not. But I TOTALLY agree. The majority of humanity is "unpleaseable" (I like that by the way, word or not). They are rarely satisfied and this "upgraditis" I think is making a lot of people unhappy. Relationships are not perfect or effort free. Good ones take effort, you shouldn't have to force it, fake it or work your butt off to make it work but it takes effort and many people aren't willing to commit or make the effort. It gets hard, they just look for someone else. I had one that I dated (nothing serious, literally 2-3 dates) and basically compared me to some impossible dream girl and I was like no one can compete with a fantasy. Go find your fantasy and when you realize you're chasing a dream, don't come knocking on my door. 

I rode Saturday several times last week. He's gotten a lot better. We can now trot at a working trot several circles on the lunge line and we can do some posting trot now too. He's still a ways from being broke but he's getting better. Hopefully we can have him sold soon. But he's never been ridden with another horse in the arena and so much commotion at the barn and he was really good, the only thing that was a struggle was he didn't steer out on the lunge line and really needed his umbilical cord (lunge line) and person on the ground. But AWESOME for an unbroke horse.

I also rode Dante bareback and the saddle definitely isnt fitting quite right on his back. It's not awful but I can't wait for a fitter to look at it. His back shape is a lot less curved. I kinda find it funny when people say a horses back doesn't "round" when they use themselves because ask any saddle fitter and they'll show you how it does and it definitely has an effect on saddle fit. If you fit a horse stood still, the fit will be wrong which is why you slightly raise the back and do a slight tummy tuck when fitting than watch the horse go. But anyways on the bareback ride it was a real struggle riding him bareback. He was really hot, over reactive, and tense so it took quite a lot to get him listening, focused, and relaxed. He kept trying to run way ahead of my seat and I will not hold him together, my job is not to hold him up. But I had to use some strong half halts and transitions, counter bend, laterals and just getting him listening and not so everywhere at once. But I'll say once we worked through that he was really good and him back really engaged but I definitely don't think at his stage of training and what we're working on bareback is too great an option. It's a temporary option but not a long term solution.

Dante's get leaner and developing leaner muscle which sometimes happen around this stage of training (schooling 2nd level). And a funny picture of him itching my back.


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## Tihannah

_Posted via Mobile Device_I just had to comment on this before I jumoed in the shower, but I, too, met my guy online and we've been together over 2 years now. He is simply an amazing guy and I met him just when I was ready to throw in the towel. 

I'm not gonna lie. I went on A LOT of bad dates! Lol. But it was fun and I met some really interesting people and a couple I kept as friends and still keep tabs on through Facebook. I think the trick was that I wasn't expecting anything, just having fun and meeting people. I went on dates with doctors, writers, engineers, you name it! I also kept it safe. I work in a casino so we have several restaurants and bars, of which my boss was over all. 

I would have them meet me there for dinner or drinks and if things didn't work out, my boss or one of my coworkers (restaurant managers) would find a way to end the date early. They kept an eye out on me and made sure I was okay as well. My boss always picked up the tab and my date would just have to cover the tip.

In the end, I think D was my 15th date and only real relationship, but it was definitely worth it in the end!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol I need to get back to studying, I'll be up part of the night I'm sure.

Thank you Tina. That gives me hope. Be prepared for a lot of pretty crappy dates and some decent ones and maybe have fun. or maybe someone there will be someone worth while. I guess you just gotta put yourself out there. And absolutely. Always keep it safe. You were really smart to keep it around work and to be surrounded by people who know you and would look out for you. But I'm glad you ended up finding someone worth while and who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. You really deserve it!!

I don't know how to just be chill, I'm a Marine. I went on a date with a guy who was a navy officer/engineer (not the jerk) and was like yeah you're all marine :lol: I'm a pretty intense person but at the same time I'm really laid back (I don't know how to explain it). I get guy humor. I can almost always make people laugh, I'm super personable and charming, when I want to be (I LOVE making people smile and laugh) or I'm super awkward. Ugh I hate dating :lol: I really hate it. That's kinda how I feel. I don't even really want to try because I VERY rarely feel any kind of connection or chemistry to anyone and when I do they turn out to be entirely toxic. I wouldn't mind so much if it was just, oh it doesn't work out but for me it seems like the guys I've been with and CHOOSE, end up being psychopaths (my sister thinks it's just bad luck and I'm drawn to the personality). I need a strong male, I'd destroy him if he wasn't. Not on purpose but I have such a strong personality and with the issues I have, he can't be weak. I can't imagine the guy who could handle me. I'm easy to take advantage of if the guy is clever enough. I can be too trusting, I care too much, once I care I get attached more easily than I really should. I still try to be objective but it's skewed when emotion and caring gets involved. I haven't figured out how to filter that out yet. I just don't feel a connection very often. And with aspergers I just don't understand a lot of things normal people do and I miss signs most people don't. And it scares me. I'm really complicated and not necessarily in the good way. Always rational/logical but just complicated.

I actually watched this movie on netflix called "Man Up" and I loved it. Nancy's cynicism sounds like me.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> I REALLY should not be on atm. I was kinda avoiding writing anything because I don't have time to comment on all the threads I've read and feel rude not responding but I have 2 more midterms tomorrow. Computer Science is tough. I've been studying and actually went through the math department to get some tutoring. I didn't want to pester my Professor too much and the tutoring at the science hall isn't particularly helpful. I need to know the logic and see the answers, so I can know if my logic is correct or not but they don't give answers so I'm kinda left hanging.
> 
> It's kicking my butt. I was going through some of the arithmetic and I was like this doesn't make sense. I can't figure it out, what's going on here? 20 is not 22% of 42 butt he computer reads things differently, so basically I have to work the problem backwards and count only the remainder to understand the calculations. Wierdness. This is why computer science makes me want to rip out my hair. It applies math logic but it's not like real math logic, it's like it's worked through a different filter. It's like learning a new language while applying some kind of math logic and engineering principles. It drives me crazy.
> 
> Plus I've been trying not to come on because my ADHD is awful when I REALLY don't want to hit the books :lol: I talked to my Dad and he made fun of me and was like let's make a list of all your handicaps and I was like I'm not even going to comment on that. I'm making it through life. Everybody has struggles. There is a silver lining in it all. My claim is that I'm hilarious :lol:
> 
> No definitely not. Most horses need rules. He sometimes frustrates me because you can't be too strict but you can't really let him get away with anything, so it's me figuring out that line sometimes.
> 
> But thank you. I'm glad it was a good ride too. I'm trying to schedule some lessons for this week but my trainer's schedule is hectic and mine is too. So were just trying to cross paths.
> 
> It really was!! I sent her a nice text and thanked her and commended her for her leadership skills and she really taught me a lot and pushed me out of my comfort zone with public speaking and confronting people, etc. I'm SO much more normal because of her! She actually grew up in a Detroit in a not so nice area. She kinda grew up rough but is an absolutely amazing person. Her husband is too. He's from Puerto Rico and a really nice, genuine guy but not a push over.
> 
> It really does and it's unfortunate. I'm really glad you were able to find Nick. That's the part scares me is even if I like the guy and he seems really great, is that really who he is? Is he who he seems to be? Or is this just part of the game? My sister said because of my handicaps to have her meet the guy, so she call tell me if he's a total douche nugget or not. But I TOTALLY agree. The majority of humanity is "unpleaseable" (I like that by the way, word or not). They are rarely satisfied and this "upgraditis" I think is making a lot of people unhappy. Relationships are not perfect or effort free. Good ones take effort, you shouldn't have to force it, fake it or work your butt off to make it work but it takes effort and many people aren't willing to commit or make the effort. It gets hard, they just look for someone else. I had one that I dated (nothing serious, literally 2-3 dates) and basically compared me to some impossible dream girl and I was like no one can compete with a fantasy. Go find your fantasy and when you realize you're chasing a dream, don't come knocking on my door.
> 
> I rode Saturday several times last week. He's gotten a lot better. We can now trot at a working trot several circles on the lunge line and we can do some posting trot now too. He's still a ways from being broke but he's getting better. Hopefully we can have him sold soon. But he's never been ridden with another horse in the arena and so much commotion at the barn and he was really good, the only thing that was a struggle was he didn't steer out on the lunge line and really needed his umbilical cord (lunge line) and person on the ground. But AWESOME for an unbroke horse.
> 
> I also rode Dante bareback and the saddle definitely isnt fitting quite right on his back. It's not awful but I can't wait for a fitter to look at it. His back shape is a lot less curved. I kinda find it funny when people say a horses back doesn't "round" when they use themselves because ask any saddle fitter and they'll show you how it does and it definitely has an effect on saddle fit. If you fit a horse stood still, the fit will be wrong which is why you slightly raise the back and do a slight tummy tuck when fitting than watch the horse go. But anyways on the bareback ride it was a real struggle riding him bareback. He was really hot, over reactive, and tense so it took quite a lot to get him listening, focused, and relaxed. He kept trying to run way ahead of my seat and I will not hold him together, my job is not to hold him up. But I had to use some strong half halts and transitions, counter bend, laterals and just getting him listening and not so everywhere at once. But I'll say once we worked through that he was really good and him back really engaged but I definitely don't think at his stage of training and what we're working on bareback is too great an option. It's a temporary option but not a long term solution.
> 
> Dante's get leaner and developing leaner muscle which sometimes happen around this stage of training (schooling 2nd level). And a funny picture of him itching my back.


Eek, good luck! That sounds tough and confusing! You can do it though!

Good luck getting a lesson too! I hope you manage to find a time together!

Detroit is not a town we venture to a lot (I'm from Western Michigan, brother lives in Ann Arbor). Just not a very good area :neutral:

There is definitely a guy out there that can handle you, flaws and all! Just have to wade through the smooth talkers and trash :lol: I agree with Tina on playing it safe too! I met Nick at a very busy restaurant with my best friend and her boyfriend. No such thing as being too safe when meeting men online.

Glad Saturday is coming along! I do hope he is sold soon though, but sounds like you are at least making progress!

Poor Dante :sad: I do hope the fitter comes soon. Bareback is good temporarily, but more power to you for doing it. I struggle with that after my confidence was shot :lol:

He looks SO good though! And I laughed at the picture of you guys :lol: it's an awesome picture!


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## frlsgirl

Hmmm ADD, Dressage, math, online dating....that sounds a lot like me! I met my husband online 12 years ago and we just celebrated our 10 year anniversary! I too had to weed through the frogs to find my prince. One guy wrote me a satanic poem; another guy chased me through the mall half-way through our first and last date; it was frightening!

I work in O&G accounting; my last job I basically programmed the accounting system to understand and apply contract terms so that the gas statements would calculate correctly.

And as far as ADD is concerned, I really should be working but sometimes just can't seem to focus to I revert to writing to studying Dressage because that seems to always captivate my interest. 

Ok, now get back to your studies and I will get back to work!


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## Skyseternalangel

Just sending you some good luck hugs!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Computer science is tough and confusing. It really sucks sometimes :lol: but when I chose a major, it was like pick your poison. I SUCK at multiple choice, so I'm not sure how I did on that but the fill it in and write out the code I think I did fine on so who knows how I did. I REALLY suck at multiple choice :lol: I know it's stupid but I'm very literal and logical on tests.

My trainer and I made lessons for tomorrow and Thursday, so no telling Dante he and I are taking a lesson on his birthday. So he'll be actually 6 years old now.

I've never been to Michigan but I know my Dad (he flies all around the country for work) sent back pictures of Detroit where people had been murdered and the houses and it just blows my mind how horrendous that city really is. It's a disaster of violence and corruption. But other than that I've heard Michigan is beautiful :lol: 

Definitely learned to be wary of the smooth talkers. I'm pretty well read in terms of literature. English really isn't my thing but I've read a lot of books from the middle ages and renaissance, philosophy, etc. I've read greek and roman literature too for historical application, context and understanding. I like to be well rounded :lol: My dad named me after Cassandra of Troy for example. When I actually knew the story I was like gee thanks dad you named me after a cursed woman who valued her chastity, turned down Apollo and was punished with sight but no one to believe her then she is brutally raped and murdered in the end. Why would you name me after her? My dad shrugged and said because she's strong willed and stays to her principles. So I just figure they're well versed or read when they're smooth talkers *shrugs* but I'm dumb about that stuff. I thought I was smarter about it but I'm not. But I hope there is. I just think I'm going to be a really tough fit but who knows maybe there is someone whose quirks mesh with mine and who likes the things I do and can handle my kind of crazy and not tear me down. It took me a good year to heal from the ex I was with for a year. He just sucked the confidence and self esteem right out of me. I was so insecure.

Me too! It's FINALLY starting to click. He has taken longer to break than ANY horse we've broke before. It's crazy but he's getting it. People looked at him last weekend, the gal looking at him has a pintabian that's showing GP. And Saturday was a premium oldenburg but his dam is an arabian by Magnum Psyche.

I understand but I'm still dumb :lol: I feel pretty confident and safe bareback but it's hard to control your seat as well, especially with his canter because he has so much movement back and forth. The times I've come off him have been bareback, twice he reared and bucked until I came off. There is no way to stay on at that point. I just remember he reared and buck, reared and bucked, reared and bucked and I hit the ground pretty hard and could taste blood but I got back on. He wanted to get me off his back, so I have to use the bareback pad. But thanks what's the point if you can't have a good sense of humor about it. I thought it was funny.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm not mentally prepared to date atm. I hate dating. Eventually I'll try again but right now I'm not ready. My main focus is getting through computer science and later this month we're working out medication for bipolar disorder, so I want to get that figured out first. So I think I should figure that out before dating. But those guys sound really creepy. I'd have been concerned. Unfortunately I think we all have to go through some rough break ups and hardships before we find Mister right. But congratulations on your 10th wedding anniversary!! That's really exciting!!

That's really cool that you were familiar enough with coding to work out the math and fix it for the company, so it works accurately. Accuracy is always important. Both my parents work in finance, so I'm familiar with that life. My mom is an accountant, my Dad was a CPA but now work nationally as a finance manager. I'm not sure of his title, they always change it

:lol: no worries I understand how that goes. I always am reading or writing about things I should be because sometimes it's hard to focus on the mind numbingly tedious, doesn't make sense work.

And Sky thank you for the hugs and good luck!! Was definitely needed today!!


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## Tazzie

I'm sure you did great on it! Though, I understand. Multiple choice makes me second guess myself :lol:

Yay for lessons! And oh well, he'll be fine :lol:

Michigan is GORGEOUS. The UP is awesome, Mackinac is awesome, and the area I grew up is awesome :lol: we go back a lot to visit!

Funny how you both saw something different in your name. And always fascinating how parents pick names for kids  but yeah, smooth talkers are just blah. No good people. I know it'll happen, when you are ready for it!

That's awesome! Hopefully they liked him enough to buy him  sounds like they know what they are doing!

Yikes! Yeah, that's why I don't feel confident bareback anymore :lol: maybe if I had an indoor with walls, but not where we currently are. Definitely have to have a sense of humor working with horses :lol:

Good luck with your lesson today!


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## Skyseternalangel

Of course, anytime!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Well thank you 

We'll see how I did in Comp Sci. I will be happy with a C. C's get degrees :lol: but I got a 96% in biology and a 93% in math, so not bad so far. We'll just have to wait on the other two to maybe have my heart crushed :lol: but I did my best and I just have to hope that was enough. I think part of my problem is my short term memory isn't that awesome but my long term memory is and it takes my brain a while to adapt and really comprehend new information.

We'll see. I haven't told Dante it's his birthday and our lesson is later tonight around 8 which is late for me because I'm usually in bed by 10 :lol: I need my beauty sleep and I don't like being awake longer than I absolutely have to. 

I've seen pictures and it always looks incredible to me! I haven't been to Michigan but the lakes look really nice. 

My Dad's a special cookie. I actually like my name and I'm proud to be named after such a strong heroine but I was like Dad do you even remember that part of the story? Why would you name your 1st born daughter after an honestly tragic figure. That's like naming a child Medea! But for sure. Smooth talkers are a no go, they're liars, deceivers and players. And I really take that stuff hard, I'm really not over it. I want to be though. I'm not the same person I was a few years ago. I've lost friends because they don't understand when I stopped being a door mat and I stopped trying to be what everyone wanted me to be. I used to have the naive Anne Frank notion of people are really good at heart. But I learned not everyone has the same heart, there are people who genuinely dont care how much pain they cause, as long as they benefit from it somehow. Though one of the good things pain gives you is your own identity and being able to not care what most people think of you. And to realize most people won't do for you what you'd do for them and most people wouldn't think twice about throwing you under a bus if it benefited them somehow. I'm really pretty cynical. Again the people in my life are very good but I try to see things for what they are, rather than what I wish they were. Which is probably why I spend most of my time avoiding people :lol: I was invited out for Saint Patricks Day but absolutely refused to go out because there will be people out and they'll be drinking and I want nothing to do with them. I hate drinking other than a social drink. Sometimes I love socializing, other times it just stresses me out.

I really hope so. My main trainer has 7 babies and IMO all but 2 need to go. 

Oh yes. I used to ride bareback in an open field but not anymore. I like my arena walls with this guy.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright just quick update because it is well past my bed time...that's how you know you're getting old :lol:

I took a few pictures with Dante. I know shameless but whatever it's his birthday and he was falling asleep on my shoulder and being very snuggly. And yes I am very white. It's partially the lighting but my hair is naturally a really light blonde(not this light) but really light. 

He was a bit of a word I can't type on here tonight. I think he'd have had a full blown temper tantrum had I not taken him on a tight circle and made him bend, hard to throw a nasty tantrum while bending and I legged him on. He was very fussy and particular tonight. But we had a good, productive lesson we just had to work through all the hissy fits. He started out spooky, so I had to gather him up a little shorter than I usually do to warm up and really get his attention on me from the get go. His spooks can be dramatic if you let him but if you keep his focus and keep him busy he usually doesn't and he is a lot better than he was. I think a big part of it was he had two days off, he can be a ticking time bomb with too much time off. But after we worked through it all he probably gave me the nicest trot and canter I've ever felt on him both directions. He felt really strong and really took me uphill in the trot, I'd never felt anything like it. I was impressed and his canter he felt so uphill (we had some tantrums) but once we worked through it he was amazing! We also had some really nice shoulder in work. My head really wasn't where it should of been (I was kinda dazed) and I realized how schooled Dante is becoming like I barely shift weight and he's like haunches in? shoulder in? or I touch him too strong (and by too strong I mean touching him) with it and his hind end comes way in. I felt like he was like uh mom where did you go to school? I know what I'm doing, do you? :lol: he cracks me up. He was like that as a baby too. When he was learning how to steer I stepped into the inside stirrup and used the outside rein and he was like uh no, you don't know what you're talking about that's not how we do things. It's so funny.

But I think Dante and I are looking at doing a schooling show in April. We'll do first level. I haven't shown in 4 years and Dante's never shown, so I'm pretty excited. My goal is to not have an explosive blow up at the judges stand and to make it all the way around the arena and ride an accurate, relaxed test. My trainer said with Dante the only thing that will probably get in the way of him progressing up the levels is his attitude. He's a professionals ride but not a professionals talent. We also agree with his quirks we dont know of anybody who'd want to ride him. But I love him, he's a perfect fit for me and I honestly thought he wasn't that quirky, I know he's quirky but then today it was like I breathed wrong and he'd have a tantrum like omg how dare you inhale oxygen! And I was like okay I'm delusional, hes a special cookie. I do this though. I always say they're not that bad, they're really good you just have to ride them right. Two of my friends who have known me for years and watched me ride many different horses were like you just go out of your way to find the quirkiest horse you can find and then tell us they're perfect and nothing is wrong. When we both look at the horse and think we have no aspirations to ride that horse. Cassie we think you need and intervention and counseling next time you buy a horse. I just believe we can fix them :lol: He's not always like that but when he is, it takes a lot. I wish I had been less dazed to be more effective but we had a good ride. My trainer also gave us a lot of good tools to work with him and work through the tantrums more effectively. I also need to not give him so many days off again. I told myself this the last time I said he cant have 2 days off.


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## Tazzie

I used to say C's get degrees all the time :lol: school is one thing I don't miss :lol: I do miss my friends (we saw each other WAY more often than we do now )

Haha, we go to bed early too! Normally by 10. Ideally it'd be 9 (yup, we're old :lol

You should take a trip there one day! It really is a gorgeous place 

Haha, we never go out either. We sometimes go out with friends/family, but it's more to eat dinner than anything. I'm not really a drinker in general :lol: and it's going to be insane out. St. Patrick's Day combined with the start of big games for the NCAA Tournament (basketball). No thank you, staying indoors is best :lol:

The pictures are awesome! I hope he had a good birthday!

At least it sounds like the ride ended well? That's always a good thing 

Yay for the schooling show!! That'll be super exciting! I think you guys will do great  And yeah, those judges stands eat horses :lol:


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## whisperbaby22

Oh he is muscling up nicely. I'm so glad you have what you consider a special horse in your life. I too have a special horse, I get chocked up sometimes when I think of what this horse means to me, I've had him for twenty years.


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## DanteDressageNerd

For sure! But it's true though. C's get degrees and if you're good at what you do and are competent or can be trained to than hey that's what matters!! And I don't blame you. I understand how that goes. I really miss my buddies from the Marine Corps. I still talk to them but we're not as close as were. It felt a lot like a big dysfunctional family.

lol well I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees being up past 10 as late :lol: someone gave me a lecture about how I'm young and need to live life and I was like I feel old. I know I'm not old but I feel old, especially with as rickety and banged up as my body is. 

I hope you guys enjoys your St. Patricks Day!! And yikes yes. If we had the games closer by, I would avoid going out like the plague. Crowds freak me out, I hate being around a bunch of strangers. 

I'm not sure that he had a good birthday but I know he got to be outside all day and I gave him two apples. He sucks at eating apples :lol: he tries but he can't bite into it. Poor boy but he can eat them in his bowl. I think he was happy in moments.

Tonight he was MUCH MUCH better in our lesson. I try to do two per week. The barn I'm at requires a lesson or training package to board, unless there is reason otherwise. His canter felt AMAZING! It felt super uphill, controlled and collected. It was lovely. Trot also felt really good. He really felt like he was getting fancy. Only tried to start a few tantrums but we nipped it in the bud and he gave up. We never punish him but we make it clear that when we ride it isn't on his terms and he has to listen. We did some lengthening and shortening at the trot, shoulder in and a few steps haunches in (we avoid over schooling haunches in), we did quite a bit of leg yield and really worked on my timing and organization of aids. He's getting a lot better trained, so I have to be that much more precise because he really listens and responds. For example in canter tonight my tendonosis was constricting my hip a bit. I tried to keep my weight more in the inside seat bone, outside leg a little back to organize his hind legs and inside leg at girth for bend through the ribcage but I focused on the constricting because I didnt want to lose the nice canter we had and I exhaled and collapsed a little in my rib cage and he broke into trot. He really tried though. I had some organizational issues but overall it was a really solid good ride tonight and I was really proud of him.

Thank you. I hope we'll do well! Judges stands are scary!! I think he'll be fine as long as I walk him by it and ride him by it a few times undersaddle and school him in the arena the night before. I know he's probably going to spook some but he'll get better as he gets used to showing. When he spooks, he's genuinely scared or reactive. He's a nervy guy. Even tonight there were a few times he spooked side ways but I put my leg on and he stopped, so I don't know if it was noticed or not. This year is no pressure, just giving Dante a positive experience. The goal is for him to enjoy it and long term be happy doing it. He usually doesn't stress too much from travel or trailer rides which is good. I pulled him off the trailer from PA to NC and NC to here and he was really chill and good. Didn't seem stressed at all about it.

Whisperbaby22-I think it's a really amazing when you have a special bond with that one horse who just suits you, even if no one understand. It doesn't matter as long as you love and enjoy them. And that's really special!! I can imagine the memories you two have formed together!! I hope I'll be lucky enough to have Dante for 20yrs. 

And thank you. He actually lost a bit of muscle mass through the EPM treatment which the vet said is normal but he's getting it back and I think he's looking good lol.


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## Tazzie

Exactly :lol: I always said I wasn't the best student, but I'm an extremely hard worker. I don't hear any complaints from the girls I work with :lol:

And yeah, we were up to 10:40 last night since Kentucky was playing. To say I'm tired is an understatement.... And we only watched an hour of it.

We didn't do anything :lol: as far as the games, people like going out to places to watch it. So crowds watching the games at the restaurants plus people out drinking for St. Patrick's Day equals a disgusting crowd :lol:

I'm sure he enjoyed his snacks at least!

And it sounds like you had another good ride! Always a nice feeling  I'm excited for when we get to that level :lol:

Schooling in the arena the night before definitely helps with the scary judges box. Especially if you can have someone sit in it while you work :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Well today was my birthday, so I celebrated by going to math class and taking quizzes for computer science. I had a good chat with my computer science Professor which was nice. We had a really good conversation and I learned quite a bit more about computer science and a bit more about where they are currently with quantum computers. I really miss being in the Marine Corps :-( I don't even mind all the BS we went through just to be with my friends again and to work with GOOD people. There were a lot of really admirable people I worked with. And some really great minds. I miss feeling like I made a difference in people's lives and being a mentor and able to actually help people and lead. I miss that. It was by no means perfect but my purpose was clear. I had a lot of support and friends. We still chat but distance and no longer being convenient changes things. I opted to get out after my injury was confirmed and I was told the prognosis and that I would never get to deploy or do field ops, so it'd just be desk work, so I was like uh who joins the Marine Corps to sit at home? But I never felt so apart of something in all my life. I miss it. I miss my guy friends, they were awesome and always gave me hope that there really are good guys out there. Actually I talked to one the other night, we used to have some really good discussions and he said you're as beautiful as they come inside and out. And equally intelligent. It was really sweet, he did say please dont take my compliments as misguided. And then another friend asked if I was 34 yet (got a few years), he's not a creeper but he's too old for me. We get along really well. He's very successful, travels all over the world and is very theoretical but it all has an applicable base which is part of why he's so brilliant at what he does. He's a cool guy. We've had some really good discussions. He's also very down to earth for as lavish as his lifestyle is. I've never seen or heard him belittle anyone.

I didn't see Dante today. I felt so guilty but I was just exhausted and wanted a nap. I need to read my bible more, it really helps with healing. When I read the bible and pray or am with Dante or doing mathematics is the only time I really feel peace. I want to forgive, heal and move on, so I'm working on it. I think long term being a good person and doing right by others, taking the higher road and not the selfish or easy path has greater long term results. Immediately it might be more disappointing and hard but I'd rather have long term happiness than short term gratification. I try to do right by other people but to be honest the best woman I know has had some of the worst things happen to her but she has a good life. She's had a brain tumor, multiple health issues and random accidents that are fairly serious but she is a beautiful person and her husband is an equally good person. He was a Marine during the Korean war. And she was one of the first women to work work with computers for the army during the 70s. She's one of my favorite people and I know her life has been far from easy. She struggles with anxiety and depression.

Exactly as long as you're competent and do your job that is all that matters!

Oooh that's late! But at least you'll get to sleep in Sunday! So not too long a wait.

Oh yes :lol: Dante loved his apples. I think they're his favorite treat. He doesn't like sugar cubes or bananas but he likes carrots, apples, peppermints, and buckeye treats. 

Thank you. I was grateful for it too. Mari said with Dante the things that's so interesting with him is how well he moves when he's totally through and ridden up vs other horses. She said with most horses you don't see the dramatic change in movement like you do with Dante, the smallest things makes such a HUGE difference it's really cool. He really makes you work for everything :lol: but that's what I love about him. He tells me if it isnt just right. And timing, that ride was so cool because it really made me step it up and I was like well now I haven't ridden a trained horse in quite a while. It's very neat how intricate it is, I can't even describe it's more like feelings. But you'll get there! I've had a lot of lessons and help! 

And specialty cupcakes and ice cream I splurged on today. I don't eat a lot of sweets so I felt pretty sick :lol: but it was so good. I also bought my mother a small present for my birthday. It seems odd to me we dont give the mother a small gift like a flower or card or bottle of wine or something. I bought her coffee. She loves coffee. I wanted to do something nice because I'm not particularly the affectionate type and she's not either. Cupcakes are Baileys Irish Cream, Andes Mint and a kind of Lemon creamcheese cake. All have various fillings. The baileys has real alcohol and chocolate ganache filling, Andes mint has a kind of mint cream, and the lemon creamcheese cake has a lemon custard filling (my favorite of the 3).


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## DanteDressageNerd

Dante was actually really friendly with people other than me yesterday. I was very impressed. He likes quirky people, he doesn't like normal nice people. They have to be odd ducks lol. It's kinda funny but I let him take the handle of the bareback pad while I was talking to a Lady (super interesting she was a Colonel in the Air Force and pilot, one of the first women allowed to fly), she's not a civil engineer. Super neat and Dante is basically a toddler, he ALWAYS needs something to distract him and you can't get after him and be like just stand there or he'll spook at things and jump around, it's just him. So I let him suck on the lead rope or play with the bareback handle. He was spinning it around and cracking everyone, then he'd drop it and pick it up and just hold it for a few minutes then spin it around. It was pretty funny. I've also accepted he's my kid, he's a lot like me and all his quirks I have to blame myself because he's just like me. He has NO attention span and ALWAYS has to test his limits and speak his mind :lol: plus he's really goofy, playful and always into something. I literally can't leave him alone if I tie him somewhere. He'll untie himself or find something to put in his mouth. Yesterday I turned around for maybe 10 seconds and he had the telephone wire in his mouth and I just was like no, take that out of your mouth and he did. He totally knows but he was like what I can't play with this? It's like having a toddler or when I pick his feet outside of the arena, if the muck bucket is empty he'll pick it up and swing it around or knock all the brooms off the wall so I usually try to aim him to the other side but then he runs his teeth on the wall. He also likes his teeth being smacked. 

I also spent time with Sporty (schooled advanced level eventing in the UK) half irish sport horse, half dutch warmblood so basicaly 5-7/8s tb, had a free lease on him for 2 years (he hadn't been ridden in 5 years when I got him going) and by far the hardest horse I have ever ridden. It's like riding a cat but he was my great horse love for a long time and I told my trainer I had to buy Dante because he reminded me of Sporty and she was like you have to be careful with those, he might turn out like Sporty :lol: thankfully he has not. You can at least reason with and ride Dante. Sporty I can't even describe, he's a VERY special cookie. I have never met a horse like him and I hope I never do. He literally was unridable some days like no steering, kinda have brakes but it's like being on a horse that isn't ridable he just does it because he feels like it and sometimes he'll let you ride him. So odd, literally some days he hated posting for no reason just you could either sit or two point otherwise he'd swing his head from my left knee to my right knee *shrugs* he did it in a lesson and I was like I swear my hands are still and my trainer laughed and said dont worry I know him, he's just weird. Normal horse logic/knowledge doesn't apply.

I lunged Dante yesterday outside and he was pretty good. I try to do about once a week where he does something different because we dont have trails or any where to really hack out at and I think it's good for them to work without a rider on some days.


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## Tihannah

First off, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!:loveshower::loveshower: I'm sorry I didn't catch it sooner! OMG! Those cupcakes looked UNBELIEVABLE!! I hadn't really been keeping up with the journals the past few days cause I haven't been able to ride and just trying to keep my mind busy with other things.

I love reading about Dante's quirky personality and tantrums. I just think he's so adorable! Lol. Every time you describe these things, I can just see them happening in my head. I love watching videos where you are riding these things out with him because his expressions are almost exactly like you describe them! Like the video where he kicks out and hits the wall and you just keep riding like nothing happened. You can almost see him saying, "I don't wanna!" and then "Fine! I'll do it." Lol.

I honestly don't think you'd be happy with an "easy" horse. I think the challenge is what makes you two such a great fit and that you kind of feed off of it, if that makes sense. I truly enjoy sharing this journey with the two of you!

P.S.
I forgot to post it in my journal, but today I did some canter work with Tess (it's getting SO much better and easier) and for the first time, I was able to half halt to bring her back down to a more collected canter without losing it to a trot. She is usually trying to freight train through the canter. It was an incredible feeling and I immediately thought of you and thought, "Omg! I have to tell Cassie!!" Lol.


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## Rainaisabelle

What Tihanna said! Happy belated birthday! Dante is so gorgeous!


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol Thank you :lol: it wasn't a bad birthday which is good. It was just quiet which is good for me. And yes the cupcakes were PHENOMENAL. These cupcakes are half a pound each with a food amount of filling in the center. But I'm pretty sure you're right. I've always been in favor of these horses. I do not make them like this, I rode plenty of horses who were not like this for long periods of time and never were like this. But the ones I absolutely love and have the best partnerships with are quirky wierdos. I'm not complaining. It just is what it is. But I'm glad someone finds it amusing :lol: my friends mostly tell me I need help and they would have given up on Dante a long time ago. No one has time for that is basically what they said. They also like a horse who will step up for you, Dante will try his heart out but if you make a mistake he's not going to step up for you. He's going to have a fit.

I'm also really happy to hear you had such an awesome experience and canter with Tessa!! That's really fantastic!! It's a pretty fantastic feeling isn't it? When you can finally just be apart of them and them be apart of you.

And no it is true. I LOVE Dante as he is even though it sometimes stresses me because it's like well nothing is allowed to happen to me because who will take care of Dante? He's really not suitable for most people, even if they approach him well, you have to be very tactful and skilled or I know someone would get hurt on him. He's not always like that but he can be. I agree 110% with my friends and trainer on this, he's a professionals ride. The downside for him is he isn't a professionals talent, so in good conscious I wouldn't feel good about selling him at any point in time. The plan is to keep him but it worries me because I know the outcome for horses like him. He's like Sporty but A LOT more ridable and I feel safer on Dante. You can ride Dante through things, if Sporty hates a rock he is almost impossible to ride through his fear. But with Sporty my trainer has never been able to sell him because he's liable to be abused or put down. That's why she brought him over from the Uk, even though he's so talented. He'd have been put down because he's so unridable, like he's been ridden by olympic caliber riders who struggled with him. Obviously they were a million times better than me or my trainer but with him I really think he's better if you have a relationship with him which is hit and miss. Sporty and I are still close I give him kisses, treats and love every time I see Dante and they actually like each other.

Yesterday he was probably the hardest to ride he has ever been. I'm not proud of this, it worries me because of the above paragraph. I've ridden multiple horses like this, I am drawn to them like a moth to a flame but I also know the outcome if they don't find their special person. I just have to really take care of myself, so I can keep him his whole lilfe :lol: I did not expect him to be like this but I think he's just a special cadet. I was like well this is new. I really think it's just the change of weather. I rode him for an hour! Which is crazy for me, I almost never ride him over 45 minutes. But he literally was spooking and jumping out at everything. I literally exhaled on a loose rein and he jumped side ways and tried to take off. He wasn't being naughty. I really think he was scared, anxious and nervous. He wasn't being belligerent. Literally I exhaled on a somewhat loose rein and he jumped side ways. Then he reared for the first time since July, nothing big (thank God) but there were some new things near the arena and he was not okay with that, plus he was super sharp and hot (tense/anxious/barely touch him with the leg and it's like a projectile missile). So first time by the "scary horse eating monsters" I tried to keep his attention but he tried to take off so I asked him to halt and he reared up and spun around and I was like now we're circling and standing still. Gradually we worked through it, I didn't focus on it. I stayed away while we warmed up so he was focused than came back and it was like pulsing the inside hand, outside leg to control the hind legs, inside leg at girth to get bend through rib cage and half halt but organized in a way to keep his focus and keep him somewhat straight. We did a lot of counter flexion throughout the ride. Eventually he wasn't really spooking at all, well he'd jump side ways from the doors if I didn't remind him to focus and keep straight but then I absolutely couldn't touch him with the whip or spur, so just a little squeezing of leg to keep him focused and up in his back. He was pretty ancy so ton of core and seat half halts. I don't usually describe him as hot but tonight to touch him with leg was like touching a hot pan so tons of core-seat half halts to slow his rhythm down and get swing then some leg squeezes to send him to the contact and use himself. He's exhausting. He's very sensitive so I had to be very careful about my seat bones too much weight in one or the other and his whole body shifts. It's really useful when he's warmed up because it doesn't take much but warming up when he's a wiggle worm and putting body parts everywhere, it's like ahh. God doesn't give us more than we can handle. 

We actually had some really good work. His lengthenings were on point and he was super through and up after he warmed up and we worked through things. We tried some baby half pass down the diagnol (that's how we introduce it) I thought it'd help get him using himself properly because I lunged him yesterday (never lunging him in side reins again, they weren't too tight). Because he finds all the ways to avoid bit pressure and not use himself correctly on the lungeline in sidereins, I saw he got a touch behind and I know it's because a rider isn't able to send him out or half halt him, so he just curls behind it which is when I stopped lunging because I didn't want it to become a habit but the next day undersaddle it was like you're correcting how he uses his neck and responds to bit pressure which is part of why I was like screw it we're doing some half pass because it's a useful lateral movement and he's at a point in his training where it's not like introducing something out of reach. *head desk* I LOVE riding him and I enjoyed riding him yesterday, it makes me step it up and focus (problem of mine) but it stresses me out like why? 

I don't even know how to describe riding him. He's usually not like this but when he is, he's really hard to ride, organize and not make dangerous. We had minimal blow ups but I can easily see how it would escalate. It saddens me because it's not good for him but he is a perfect fit for me. My specialty as a rider really was these screwy odd balls, I used to ride 3-5 a day and my trainer used to pass me the horses who were just screwy or not right because for whatever reason I ride that well. That's mostly what I got offers on to ride because that's my gift. I think every rider has their gifts and flaws. I can ride other types successfully but my quirky wierdos are the ones I like the best.

I love how he poses. He was a butthead on the ground but bring the camera out and ear pricked forward, aren't I cute poses. Black horse is Sporty just to show who I'm talking about.


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## frlsgirl

Happy belated Birthday!


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## Tazzie

Happy belated birthday!! Those cupcakes and that ice cream look heavenly! Sounds like they tasted as good as they looked!

And man I missed a lot haha!

Sounds like you guys had a couple of interesting rides! Can't say I blame you taking a nap on your birthday though :lol: naps are awfully nice!

He sounds like he was a handful yesterday though, my goodness! Glad you made it into a decent ride at least!

The pictures are awesome!


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## Tihannah

Just thinking about Tess and how spooky she was on the alfafa, do you think it could be something in their diet that's promoting the behavior or just genetic? Have you ever tried any calming supplements with either of them?

Even at their worst, Tessa's spooky episodes weren't hard to handle. It was more or less just getting her to relax and focus on the work at hand. Near impossible on the alfafa. When we rode at night, she was jumping at our shadows on the ground!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol yes they were really good. The lemon one was to die for, so good. I'm usually careful about it because I'm sensitive to sugar and carbs but man it was good!

Sorry to write so much :lol: I tend to be detailed because I try to explain and probably go overboard.

Yeah. Our rides have been interesting. I don't mind him like that because he really trusts me. That is one thing I picked up on when he's that scared, you can feel it in his whole body and he'll let me influence him even though he's scared and gradually he gets more confident and less nervous. I'm very patient and just work him through it with him. I almost never get after him. I correct him but you can't punish him or get after him. It's not productive, depending on his mood he either panics or gets really hostile. So I'm very calm about things. I've told people if you get into a fight with this horse you will lose, he's very smart and is fully aware of what he's capable of. But when he's like this he needs a lot of encouragement and love but also a consistent direction and reinforced expectation. I think he meant well. Sometimes he doesn't but yesterday he did and I'd rather he mean well than be belligerent. 

Thank you for the suggestion. With horses there are always infinite possibilities but I don't think it's diet. It'd be nice if it was a simple fix like that. He has timothy hay, all day turnout, grain isn't a hot grain, some beet pulp (he's not an easy keeper). There haven't been any changes, grass hasn't really come in yet. He gets a joint supplement, probiotics and a multi vitamin. I think it's the weather change (was 50-60 then snowing in the morning) and he's kinda like that sometimes. He's always kinda nervy and on edge but not to the same extent. I think it's his personality and I think he's sensitive to weather change. I actually don't mind when he's like this for myself because I can ride through it but my concern always goes back to what if something happened to me, what's going to happen to him? Because I look at the riders I know and even the trainers are like nope, no desire to ride Dante. He's a handful and complicated to ride. It's been suggested to me to try regumate or ulcers have been mentioned. I don't have the money right now to treat ulcers, especially since we have no real evidence to suggest he has ulcers. It's $30 a tube for 30 days so $900. He's just completed 6 weeks of EPM treatment which has cost me over $1,000. His back and ribs were fine. I massage him once a week, we do a variety of stretches after every ride. My vet has looked at him. The saddle fits him pretty well but not perfectly. I think he's just quirky *shrugs* I'm pretty calm and patient with him. You can't really get after him for anything, you can correct him and guide him but when he was young on the ground if you looked at him wrong he'd throw himself into the wall. He's just nervy and sensitive. Before I got on I literally turned to him to adjust his girth and he started flying side ways. I had a very passive stance, whip on the ground, he's just Dante. I know how the people at the barn handle him. I know how I handle him. No one has gone after this horse. He's just who he is. He grew up on a farm with cows, donkeys, and chickens until he was 4. His full brother isnt like this from what I understand.

I don't know. I've talked to my trainers and after all the stuff we've looked at. I think we're at this is just who he is and that's alright.


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## frlsgirl

What symptoms did he show under saddle that made you suspect EPM? Also, have the symptoms improved with treatment? I still wonder sometimes if Ana has it; but then I go ride her and she seems fine.

Ana is also on mostly alfalfa and she also has a hard time relaxing; not in a spooky sense but more in a grumpy/tense sense. We are slowly transitioning her to equine senior; hopefully that will help her feel better.

I always wonder how much is related to physical issues and how much is just their personality shining through.

Maybe the high strung/grumpy behavior just goes along with being owned by a diva


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## DanteDressageNerd

He didn't really have any EPM symptoms but I had his blood drawn and he tested low positive (they usually don't bother treating at that point) but then we had him temporarily on estrone (a steroid) to help build muscle around his stifles because he had a stifle issue (that's better now). But steroids weakens the immune system so he started tripping and showing more symptoms and so I was like treat now. I don't want it to advance. And most horses will test low positive for EPM but it doesn't necessarily mean they need to be treated for it but even in the low range it can affect them. It's just super expensive to treat :-( The starting treatment is 4 weeks but I went 6 to be safe and after his symptoms went away. It's 220 dollars per tube. 

Some symptoms I've seen, some horses show almost none while others will display depression, moodiness, grumpy, tripping to falling down and not having body awareness or acting weird undersaddle as in not their usual behavior. The horses I rehabbed from severe EPM took a long time to rebuild the muscle memory, body awareness and coordination in their bodies. Most horses if treated early enough won't need a special rehab program but when they have it as bad as some of the horses I've ridden it's a process that takes months-years to rebuild because you can't rush it or they lose footing. 

I think a lot of horses may have a physical issue that affect them but others I think it's just their personality and it's important to weed out physical ailments before saying it's who they are. I try to give the horse the benefit of the doubt first :lol:

It's also a curiosity to me how much they pick up from their owners. I've heard horses sometimes "mirror" their owners. I think they do to an extent but I think they have their own very distinct personalities too. Some have more personality than other, just like people. 

Dante and I are very similar too :lol: I understand. I also think people are drawn to a certain personality type and a certain kind of horse. For example Sporty and Dante have very similar personalities and they're both my favorite horses I have ever ridden or been around.


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## Tazzie

I enjoyed reading it :wink: I always read what you post :lol:

He sounds like he has a similar diet to Izzie, who can also be sensitive. I think it's the Arab side since I know a lot of sensitive Arabs that are not the flighty, stereotypical Arabs. His diet sounds pretty good to me.

Is he feeling better now after his treatment? I totally understand why you wouldn't want to treat for ulcers on a hunch after spending that kind of money on the EPM medication. I know there are cheaper alternatives you could add to the grain to see if it is ulcers, but I don't know if Dante is like Izzie, who is certain you poisoned her grain if something changes :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Again shouldn't be on because I am a MAJOR procrastinator but it's only like 2 pages on an article regarding prions possibly being the root cause of all brain deformities. Haha maybe my attention issues will be fixed one day. I just can't for whatever reason without extra motivation.

But I saw Dante tonight. I did not ride him, as we worked really hard yesterday and I didn't have time because I rode Saturday (youngster we're breaking) who was REALLY good. I was so proud we walked and trotted on the bit, on the lunge line both direction. He had actual trot steps. We walked off the lunge line, were able to change direction, woah, leg yield, etc. I was SO impressed and proud of him. This is the most progress we've made in a while. So exciting!! He's getting it!! It was like actually riding. Still sitting trot to get him going, didn't do posting trot because honestly I don't think he's at that point yet. Sitting gives a lot more control and security than posting and he still humped up a few times to test the waters than we rode him through it and he was like oh well this isn't so bad. He's just lazy and hard to keep going. Definitely needs work on steering. But improvement!! We're going to have a broke horse someday!

Also discussed with my friend and note when I talk about Dante. I am NOT complaining about how he is, it's more acceptance because I think it sounds like I'm complaining. I'm really not it's just this is how it is and that's okay. I prefer quirky, hot, complicated horses. If I have a choice that's what I like to ride. I really think it comes from I have so short an attention span, I need something that keeps me on my toes and makes me actively ride. Like with him what's so cool is the amount of expression he has all comes from seat control, core half halts and tempo/rhythm control. It's really cool. But that's kinda how we both are, she likes hot,sensitive horses and I do too. Neither of us like dull or slow horses. I can ride them but I tend to tune out and dont get anywhere near the expression I can with something like a Dante because I think more and fade out. Focus is my biggest flaw as a rider. I have almost no attention span, so something like a Dante who needs to be ridden every second but not micro managed but actively ridden keeps me focused and riding. I do better when he's hot or spooky or nervous because I focus more and ride better if that makes sense *shrugs* everybody is different. 

I also played with Dante and Sporty. Dante was VERY upset I was paying attention to Sporty and not him, so his way of being jealous is to look more endearing and cute like but how could you pick that horse over me? 1st picture is Saturday than Sporty and Dante. Also with his feet he's due to be trimmed tomorrow and they're chipped because I pulled his shoes last time so they've chipped at the nail holes. He'll get them back on for show season, so not tomorrow but the one after that. He has good feet but some of the show grounds have awful footing and I don't want him barefoot on rocks or bad footing that will tear his hooves up.


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## Tazzie

I do know all about procrastination :lol: good luck finishing up!

Yay for how well Saturday was! That's huge you were able to walk him off of the lunge line, and that you got real trot steps! I wonder how quickly he will progress now that he's starting to get it!

Your pictures are awesome though! Saturday is a big boy, and Dante always looks like so much of a character :lol:


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## frlsgirl

Surely his hooves don't look as bad as this:

We pulled her shoes as she has really good feet and doesn't really need them and the part where the nail holes are growing out has created a weak spot, so a chunk of her hoof is missing; I immediately texted pictures to the farrier who assured me that this is something normal than can happen and that she is perfectly sound for every day riding. It just looks ugly as sin.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> I do know all about procrastination
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> good luck finishing up!
> 
> Yay for how well Saturday was! That's huge you were able to walk him off of the lunge line, and that you got real trot steps! I wonder how quickly he will progress now that he's starting to get it!
> 
> Your pictures are awesome though! Saturday is a big boy, and Dante always looks like so much of a character


So I had a lesson and a math test to study for last night...obviously couldn't say no to a lesson







oh yes I'm a terrible procrastinator. I have NO attention span, so it takes a LOT to keep me focused if I don't feel I need to lol.

It was really good. He moved by far the best he ever has. I was SO proud of him. He had a few temper tantrums and I think when his saddle is fixed he'll stop. The problem is I can't pad more in front because it kinda pinches him and the shape of the flockig needs to change to fit his shape. The fit isn't bad but he's REALLY picky about saddle fit. He literally refused to be ridden once because we had a cheap yoga mat thick pad under his saddle and he didn't like that. But he was good. We did some half pass to fix his way of going, I told my trainer I introduced him to half pass over the weekend and I hope that is alright. And she said no I think that was a good idea, Id rather you school correct half passes than haunches in. So I was like yay we did half pass correctly lol. He surprises me how quickly he can pick up on things but we've done so much lateral work with him it was probably nothing to him. My trainer also REALLY made me shorten my reins and channel my inner Charlotte Dujardin lol. She was like I think you've been riding babies and schooling greenies for too long. She's like Dante is way too advanced to be ridden like a baby. It was just cool. I was like woah, I forgot what it's like to ride a well schooled horse. He's so precise, I have to be that much more accurate and precise because he really listens and it doesn't take much or he goes like crap. Hes really making me step it up. I wish I had videos, it's night and day to my last videos. His canter made my jaw drop, I was so stunned. I'm proud because most everyone thought I'd lost my mind when I bought him and said he wouldn't go past 3rd level and I'd never fix the canter, etc but we're getting there and I feel like there is SO much more movement and sit in him. I'm trying not to get too excited because we all know that's how setbacks happen. We also decided he's really a one person kind of horse. My trainer thinks the one thing that may hold us back is his attitude. I feel like he really enjoys doing dressage, when you open him up to a lengthening, it feels like when your riding a horse in his element down to jump. Like hes just in the zone and loves it too. I honestly can't imagine him doing anything else. It's incredible how huge the change in his movement is between how my seat and half halts and everything are organized. I don't know how to describe it but it's like I instinctively know and figure it out which is cool for me. I've had SO many setback in riding and struggled SO much and had so many goals that never happened. I feel like I have a horse who can really do it and I feel like I'm finally in a place to get him there. He's very tricky to ride but we fit. And he really trusts me. He had a panic moment yesterday but we went into shoulder in and kept his focus and he relaxed and listened. Super Big!! I hope he's happy tonshow. He does like to show off but he also gets hotter, more nervous and anxious so it's like half halt, half halt. Half halt come back to me. 

Saturday is 16.1h but he's SO round, he really eats up leg. He's registered Oldenburg but he's half Arab. And yes it is HUGE!! I'm so proud of him. We're getting somewhere. 

And yes Dante has a full personality! He is so goofy and interactive. Not dull at all but he's such a spook. He's an interesting guy. He's also a jerk, I asked him to do a belly lift. I was closer to his shoulder and he didn't want to, so he brought his hind leg up to his belly and brought it down on my thigh then threw himself into the wall. I didn't even need to get after him, I just looked at him like you @ss hole!! He knows but he's quick, like I saw him lift his leg and he got me before I could move. He's such an @ss but he's my SS.

And his feet aren't as bad as Ana's but he's developed a pretty good crack. The farrier is looking at it today and said we need to put 4 shoes on to fix it. I was like whatever is best for Dante. I don't want it to get worse.

Him in his tiara. The other thing I thought was interesting is both my trainers think he looks like a lusitano or Spanish horse. They think he moves like a Spanish horse but without that Spanish gait if that makes sense. Same type of movement but not way of moving, if that makes sense. Like he does do the quick pace thing Spanish horses do. I don't know how to explain it. I know what they mean and agree but oh well.


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## Tazzie

Hopefully you can have the saddle fixed soon!

I'm glad you had another great lesson! That's just awesome! And yay for school half passes! All sorts of fun things going on 

That's pretty big in my book :lol: but I'm all of 5'2", so really anything is big :lol:

And naughty Dante!! Hopefully you are ok at least!

I think I kind of get what you're saying, a little bit at least :lol: his tiara is so pretty though!


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## frlsgirl

He wears his tiara well; he does have that look of entitlement about him; like he's saying "That's right, I'm totally worth it!" 

I know what you mean about attitude; I suspect that my RI thinks that Ana has a bad attitude but then I take her to a show and she's a totally transformed horse "Let's show the judges how a Dressage test is done, mom!" My barn mates keep coming up to me saying "I heard that Ana did really well at the show" like nobody expected her to behave herself, lol.

For Dressage purposes you do want a horse that's more on the reactive side so that they respond to aids with immediacy and enthusiasm, but that also means that sometimes they respond in a way that's not desirable; hope your leg is ok.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I really hope I can. I decided I'm going to contact a saddle fitter in my area if it isn't soon because I think he'll be a lot happier once it's fixed and nothing else in the barn fits him. He's a little oddly shaped but not terribly odd, just super short in the back and it is angled so his saddle needs to be more exact.

Dante is Dante. He is completely aware that's not okay, he knows before he does it which I think is why he's so quick about it. I'm fortunately alright but I'm usually more careful with him because he's a jerk. He can be a loving sweetheart too and really funny and personable with select people but he still has that jerk side. And yes I'm lucky it just left a small bruise and is fine now. He didn't get me hard. The worst kick he gave me was Christmas, I learned to never go in a paddock with him again. I just petted him to say Merry Christmas and have a good day. Petted his head and he spun around to kick me on my right hip. I had a huge bruise that turned black. I was lucky it wasn't worse but he's a jerk. When he does stuff like that it's quick and dirty. He has excellent ground manners, I think he's just a jerk. 

I guess so lol. Dante's a hair under 16h and at my barn he's considered a small horse. 16.2h is more normal and anything under is considered "small." Dante isnt the smallest but we have several 17+h horses and an 18h horse. We have a few "non warmbloods." My trainer that owns the 18h horse is 5'3, when she bought him he was SUPPOSED to be 16.2h and done growing. She bought him sight unseen and he showed up 17.2-3h and growing lol. But they're a good team. I think she trained him from broke to PSG. My other trainer is 5'10 with super long legs. She looks hilarious on smaller horses, though not bad on Dante.

And yes I was very grateful for a good lesson!! I have another one on Sunday then next week is Spring break. I feel like a child but I'm excited haha it doesn't happen in the adult world like a whole week to do whatever I want. I'm giving Sporty a bath! He needs one SO bad! 

Yeah I thought what I was trying to explain came out in a jumbled way. He moves like a spanish horse but not in the spanish way where they get super quick and have an irregular-sporadic rhythm. Sorry worked with a few PRE's and spanish horses lol. 

And thank you. I love his tiara. Lee (the FEI judge who travels the world) and makes me jealous with his adventures wore shades one time to tease me about how flashy and sparkly it is :lol: and he does. My trainer and I were joking that in a past life we're pretty sure he was either a debutante or a princess :lol: he rides a lot like a mare but to him he's all boy and has more of the male cockiness but not all the time.

lol well of course a diva does her best on stage right? That's funny but I can see what you mean. I think the "diva" personality is better than a horse that is dull. I think you can accomplish a lot more with an intelligent horse that thinks than a horse who is dull or dumb. And divas are usually intelligent, sensitive, and aware which are good things I think. Just gotta negotiate with the quirks. A lot of the top-upper level horses are EXTREMELY quirky, hot, and difficult. When I was in Germany, I remember watching several horses and thinking yep no desire to ride that one. Escolar broke a GP riders hand and top rider in Germany undersaddle. I can't remember how but if you saw him go it was like I have NO desire to ride him but my god he's marvelous. nicest horse I've ever seen in my life.

Oh absolutely. I love how sensitive and aware he is. I like a horse who is very reactive. I used to do best on sharp-reactive horses. I hate riding something I have to be that strong with or who I need to be aggressive with to get a wake up call. With Dante it's just like hey here's a suggestion, he can be edgy or more nervous than the dull types but I'd always rather deal with that high energy than dull and dumb or lazy. Sometimes he's like navigating a mime field but he's reasonable and you can work him through it and get him going very well.

Oh yeah and I call it the many faces of Dante :lol: he's very expressive. He has recently accepted a banana as acceptable payment for his service as a dressage horse. It made me so happy! And the two pictures with him ears pricked looking cute and endearing to ears pinned looking crabby and menacing is basically how he is all the time. I also took a picture of his dorsal stripe and braid. Arabian bridle path is still growing out but better than it was!


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## whisperbaby22

I think we all have our preferences in horses, but in my experience, there are no dull dumb or lazy horses. I understand that you are using that in a different way, and that you prefer hot reactive horses. You would not like my horse. Not at all. But I trained him for trail, and he is all business out on the trail and a bit of a plug everywhere else. My farrier and vet love him because he just stands there and hardly moves; in a ring, he hardly moves, back when I was young we called it "moving backward" and meant a horse that if you used a crop would move slightly faster the crop came down and as it went off, back to mossying along. But then, I find ring riding boring, and it probably has always been telegraphed to my horses. A good trainer gets the horse to go along with the program, a great trainer gets the horse to want to do it. It's that willingness to move forward that makes a great horse. So a good trainer will make a good horse, a great trainer will make a great horse. In my opinion, a dull or lazy horse is either lame sore or sick, or not trained properly. I do not call myself a great trainer, but I have always been able to put a lot of miles on a horse, and never had a horse that was lazy out on the trail. It is just a different perspective. As a dressage rider you expect different things, and from what I am able to figure as I read along is that you are starting to get your horse to want to do it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I don't know that I'd hate riding him. I actually really like quarter horses and stock types. The ones I've ridden that seemed dull could be made really reactive. I've ridden several stock horses and loved them because they're so stinking smart but in a productive way and quick to think and react. But I have absolute respect for the differences. Just like people we need all kinds of different horses and riders for those horses, not every horse is meant to be a great trail horse or a dressage horse or jumper or whatever else. We're different to enjoy different things. Even discipline specific, you'll see different preferences depending on the rider and their goals, etc. For example I would never feel safe taking Dante into the mountains on some of those trails because while he's confident, he's a nervous nilly (he grew up on a farm with chickens, donkeys and cows) *shrugs*. He listens but he's nervous and can be jumpy. And I had a friend go down a trail on a mountain once, like slid off the trail and were tumbling down, the ONLY reason she and her horse survived is because they hit a tree, just before her horse started to roll. It was over a 1000ft drop (I grew up in Oregon). So I get it, you wouldn't want a Dante either.

I think Dante enjoys his job most of the time, even from the beginning. I think he'd get flustered and honestly I think he's a bit like me where he has to see a point to things and he needs to be worked with, you can't force him. If he didnt want to do it, he wouldn't. That is one thing I think is good about these types, you can't make them do anything but you can motivate them. A good leader inspires confidence and a desire to do well. But I agree with training, regardless of discipline the horse should enjoy his/her job too. He should gain confidence and be happy. I dont know how you can keep a horse doing something long term unless they enjoy it too and want to do it. I think you have to work with the willingness of the horse to do a task. You can't "make" them do anything or at least I don't think so. I think "forcing" them into uncomfortable situations creates more problems than it helps. You need their trust and you need them to want to do what you ask. I really don't think you can make horses do things, I think you can to an extent short term but long term I think it's better to find what motivates them and how to work with them and take a consistent, systematic approach and make it kinda black and white for them. If a training method involves cornering a horse or bullying them to do certain things, IMO that's wrong. You lose their trust, confidence, and they don't turn to you, they shut down and react from submission rather than compliance. I think you still need to be firm or assertive at times but not demeaning or a bully if that makes sense. I also think how we think about things mentally has an affect. I know I'm generally calm and patient, especially with horses, animals, or children. I think how you approach things and your presence or energy you put off has a big effect. Like Dante is VERY sensitive to emotion or presence. If he did something naughty, I don't even have to raise a hand or say anything I just kinda project you *** hole or anger and he will throw himself into the wall. Or under saddle I have to be very calm and structured in my thinking or I can't ride him. I don't really get frustrated under saddle anymore, I kinda just work things through and I'll take the long but lasting approach vs the "quick fix" or instant correction if that makes sense. There is so much to horsemanship and what makes a good approach or bad approach or good handling/riding vs bad handling/riding. I think more what's constructive and fair? If that makes sense.

I've ridden some that weren't bright like I had one a Frisian cross I rode. I hated riding him because if he spooked, I thought he was going to fall over because he was so uncoordinated and mentally I don't know if many neurons were firing because it was like he tried and meant well but just couldn't work things out. He was a sweet horse just not the brightest crayon in the box. Another horse an 18h percheronxtb was like that too but he was even less nimble like turns concerns were he might fall over (my trainer rode him) and mentally not super bright. I've never met a horse who took a month to work out turn on the forehand or some that you could ride and make more reactive but they took much stronger aids than I like to use.


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## frlsgirl

They do the same thing with Morgans; mile long bridle paths! It took forever to grow that thing out; for a while she looked like she had a mullet; I tried to hide it with a clever comb-over:


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## whisperbaby22

I hope everybody here reads your last post Dante, it would clear up a lot of misconceptions and make sense of some of the arguments that go on around here about dressage, rounding up, how to train, etc.


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol that's funny. I find Ana's hair style inspiring. Maybe next hair cut  I don't get it either, to me it just look ridiculous on the sport horse.

I usually avoid getting involved with those threads because I don't have time to really go back and forth and because I feel like people are all talking at each other without listening or acknowledging that there is more than one way to ride a horse. I feel like there is a lot of misunderstanding towards dressage as well but people will never admit they don't know as much as they think they do.

For example I've ridden stock horses. I've ridden cutting, barrel and schooled reining horses but I would never claim to be an expert in any of those things or claim I knew all there was to know about it or I rode a few reining horses, so I know how every reiner rides and trains. I've ridden it and I dabbled but it's not my area of expertise, though I do use some reining techniques training youngsters like roll backs, etc. I've also gone on 8hr trail rides and over night trail rides into the mountains of Oregon and Washington state and ridden on the beach, on sand dunes etc. And no I don't ride in a dressage frame on trail rides. I might sometimes negotiating some banks or hills, etc (I was an eventer, so trails was part of conditioning) but for the most the horse can organize themselves they just need some help in the really rough areas.

Or people who claim dressage confuses horses. In my experience people confuse horses. I find most horses with a well schooled rider who really gets it pick up on it very quickly. And it's not to down anyone but to say where are our limits are and recognizing them. And I agree if someone isnt well schooled in dressage and doesn't have a trainer and that isn't their goal, why should they focus all their time on getting a horse trained in dressage? But it's a very long and hard road/process that isn't for everyone and it can be determined situationally. A rider is probably better off not focusing on dressage if there are no good instructors in the area or someone to help or if that just isnt what the rider wants to do and the horse and themselves are safe/happy. You can do more harm than good. I've ridden multiple greenies/youngsters and in one ride I can usually get them to walk, trot, canter, mostly balanced and on the bit pretty consistently (it's not perfect) but it's fairly consistent and they're not in the head braced down way but reaching for the bit but I also have an unusual background and ridden at least 80-90 horses in the last few years and rode 3-5 horses a day, rehabbed multiple horses, was a working student for almost 2yrs and ridden under good mentorship, went to Germany and got to ride some incredible horses and gain some incredible experiences. I don't know it all, not even close I'm not claiming anything like that. Just I don't think a lot of people give dressage a fair shot or assume dressage riders just crank and spank their horses and beat them into submissive, docile creatures (in my experience most dressage horses are thinkers, not blind followers). There is a difference between compliant and submissive. I'd never describe Dante as submissive but I'd say he listens and trusts me a great deal or he'd never let me ride him through "scary monsters." And he needs that kind of structure or I think he'd be a very naughty boy and hurt someone. He will run people into walls if they don't take charge and he will flat out not obey if he doesn't respect the rider or take off and bolt, he gets more nervous and scared if the rider isn't in charge of the situation and things with him escalate quickly, especially when he's hot/anxious and calms down and relaxes once he gets focused on work and gets his confidence back. Or if he's in hostile, f off mode he'll try to be boss and you just have to be consistent and firm but not abrasive. 

Or people who don't understand why we ride with contact or how we use bit contact and assume we're hauling on our houses mouths because the rein is short. Or assume all dressage riders ride the same. I wish I could just touch someone head and show them the memory of what it feels like or what it feels like to ride a well trained, correctly schooled horse. You won't feel a war. You won't feel a hard mouth at all. We ride on a shorter rein to eliminate white noise and so we can have that greater influence to maneuver through various exercises like shoulder in, haunches in, tempi changes, canter piroettes, half pass, etc to have them in a correct rhythm and balance. We don't use the mouth to create a frame but the whole horse. You won't ride a correct or balanced canter piroette with the reins at the buckle. The reins are shorter to allow the rider to be more precise and that's why a good dressage rider needs to be that much more educated in their hands and body because while the short rein allows for less white noise and communication, it also sets up for less margin of error and more exacting because there is less white noise. If the rider isn't educated in their seat, hands and body and they shorten up like that or the horse isnt educated to respond appropriately, the horse will end up being tight, tense and resistive vs accepting, compliant and willing.

Overall I don't think a lot of people read what I write which is fine by me. It's more to speak my peace :lol: I just love dressage. Not everyone needs to share that love but misconceptions drive me crazy lol.


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## whisperbaby22

Yea, that's why I rarely put in my two cents, too!


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## Tazzie

Haha, I'm glad he accepted the banana as a suitable after ride treat 

Lol at the pictures though! The happy to pinned ears. Mr. Personality right there!

I don't have a whole lot to add on the riding topic. I've spent the last year competing against the kinds that just yank the head in and force them to ride that way. I've also had many judges tell me they love that my horse is not one of them. It's pretty obvious to them Izzie is there, headset wise, because of how she's being ridden. One of the area top trainers posted a video of her about to ride in for her awards ceremony, and all I see is yank yank yank on the outside rein. If you watch any of my videos, that's what you'll see for most of my classes (I won't say all since occasionally I compete against another dressage rider who rides like I do). Izzie is far from perfect, but we're getting there (well, not to perfection, but to a place better than we are now)


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## DanteDressageNerd

Understandable. I just don't like getting involved in disputes.

Thanks me too. I'm glad he'll eat a banana and yes he has a full personality.

I know what you mean. I've seen a lot of "crank and spank" type riders and there isn't a whole lot you can do. And you've done a good job with Izzy, I'm glad the judges notice and compliment you on it  but none of us are perfect. Not even a little and not even close but we all try to be :lol:

I am absolutely exhausted. I have like no energy but I'm going back to the barn to ride Saturday in a few hours. Fortunately Saturday should be better than Dante. 

I worked this morning then Dante totally wiped me out. He was SO SO bad today. I actually was angry at him. Anyone who knows me knows it takes a LOT to make me angry, I'm extremely patient and while I'm hot blooded I'm pretty even tempered and calm, especially around animals. I can be assertive and alpha but I rarely get emotional. But he tried to kick me twice. One time just for asking him to move over in the cross ties and once for tightening the girth. So I actually got after him. Later he tried to twist himself up in the cross ties. Don't ask me how, I have no idea how or why. I literally left him for at the most a minute. So I let that go and rode him because well that's just Dante. He had two days off. He's terrible with too much time off but I really couldn't help it. I had to finish up my essay. I let things go, so I wasn't mad at him. I expected him to be alright. He was pretty good in the warm up but then I started asking for a little better quality work and he had a big tantrum, I had no patience I was like no. I'm done and actually got after him (me getting after is more like just being firm assertive and saying these are the rules) and he tried to buck me off. I got his head up before he could throw in another, then he bolted like I had no steering for a little bit, then I got it back and was like that's it we're going for a gallop. So I did figure of 8 simple changes hand gallop. I rode him like an eventer, still had to reach towards the bit and be balanced but hand gallop and just got whatever out. He's a higher energy horse, he relaxes if he can move. 

The thing about Dante is even though he is what he is, he almost always listens, even when he's being a jerk or being a neurotic anxiety ridden horse but today he tried to blow through my aids and not listen. So lots of transitions and reminding him to listen. It took SO SO much to ride him, it literally took absolutely everything I had and I have low blood sugar, so I was literally shaking when I got off of him. I didn't lose my temper with him. I wasnt aggressive but I was very assertive and strict with my rules and expectations. I rode for an hour which is long for me and got off. He wasn't lathered in sweat or anything like that and he wasn't stressed out but I eventually got him through, loose, LISTENING. Not taking off with me, not ignoring my aids and actually able to bend left. It took SO SO much just to get him to bend left and I bet he needs to see the chiropractor, so I'm making an appointment then I'm going too. Like I had to sit on my left seat bone, ask for bend with my position, accentuate with my inside fingers than give. Allow flexion with the outside rein but still half halt outside rein with my outside leg kinda riding him in haunches fore position to get him straight and inside leg towards his shoulder to get him to use his neck properly and core half halts to bring his back up. It's hard to explain, it just took a lot. It was ridiculous. I got off because I was getting frustrated and if you have an emotional reaction get off. So then I worked with him on the ground and same problem, couldn't bend left without a TON of help so I'm making an appointment with the chiropractor. 

I'm also calling a saddle fitter. I don't care. I can't wait another few weeks. It needs to be looked at now. So I'm asking a friend about some local fitters who are actually good because I don't want someone who doesn't know what they're doing and make it worse. 

I was not happy with him today. We had stallion rules on the ground after the ride. I've just had enough. Literally when I was riding ALL I asked for was go forward, listen. Don't take off with me, listen. Literally. He's not sore, I checked before I got on. I also had his back x rayed in October (clean). The saddle doesn't fit 100% but on one hand it will be getting fixed on the other I'm like that's no excuse. It's not that awful a fit just not 100% perfect. The only other thing I can think of is the grass is coming in and he's getting used to being on that and he's a jerk.

There are a lot of really wonderful and good things about Dante too. He's very smart, he usually listens, he can be super sweet and personable, and he wants to work. He is MUCH happier with a job and he really seems to enjoy his job most of the time. It just get frustrating when he's being such a jerk. There is no reason for this. Also his glands are a little swollen from the grass.


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## Tazzie

Oh, I know there isn't much I can do. I just choose to ignore it. And beat them :wink: and you're right, no one is perfect. I just shoot to be better than we are :lol:

And naughty Dante!! It's hard to not get angry when they are behaving like that! Sorry it was such a rough day :sad:

I understand where you are coming from. On one hand, I get it. The saddle isn't perfect. On the other hand, it's not terrible and he's been doing fine in it. I totally get it. I'm glad you're booking a chiro for him though and getting a saddle fitter out sooner rather than later. You'll have to keep us posted how the chiro goes!

I know there are good things about him :wink: I swear it's the Arab side. They make you absolutely insane, but at the same time they are so wonderful.


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## whisperbaby22

Well I can see that you have a fit horse, it's spring, and you are still figuring him out at this point, because you haven't had him all that long. That's coming from the perspective of my 20 years with my current horse. So that's that, and it will come together. But there is so much that is different with horses these days, when I was young there were no chiropractors, no saddle fitters, we just rode. Were the horses treated worse because of it? Sometimes I wonder. There have been a lot of improvements with horse care, and they are definitely living a lot longer, but I think you are doing the right thing by making him work.


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol exactly! That's how I felt about the dressage clinics when a certain trainer and her student were making snooty remarks about me and my friend, I was like jeesh none of you could ride either Dante or my friends horse, so watch us kick your butt while you're discussing jerking on them and forcing them into submission. My way might be the long way but at the end of the day when I ask my horse to half pass across the ring, it will be effortless and not forced because he'll actually be trained and conditioned, not just shoved/forced and manipulated or improperly developed. 

It's alright. I try really hard not to take it personally or get emotionally involved. I want to stay objective and keep myself out of the ride, though on days like this it's really hard not to. I try to be kinda like a positive energy with a consistent expectation if that makes sense but with him today he was just being a jerk. Most of the time it is a bad idea to get after him but today he was kinda hostile and in jerk mode, when he's like that you can. 

Me too. It was fitted to him early December but his back has changed shape so much it's not quite right anymore. I contacted a fitter and she might be able to come out this Tuesday to have a look at it which would be awesome! I heard she's really thorough and does a good job from my friend I break horses with. She's a trainer and does mostly babies and trakehners. 

I actually think it's the stock horse side that the belligerent butthead comes from and the neurosis and anxiety and sensitivity from the arabian. But I see what you mean with all the sensitivity and neurosis coming from the arab side that will drive us absolutely insane but they have such a wonderful, lovable quality to them it's hard to stay mad at them for long. :lol: I agree.

Whisperbaby22- that makes sense to me. That's kinda what I think about is some of the horses in Germany were sensitive types but they were made to get over it and would have equipment that really didn't fit at all and some aspects of what I saw I considered borderline cruel but the horse's got over it and seemed more able to "cope" because of it. I agree technology has advanced and improved the horse's quality of life but sometimes I wonder if we've gone a step too far bending so far over to try to find every possible reason for certain behavior, rather than being like get over it. I know as a Marine I had a lot of things I kinda had to just suck it up and get over. I didnt enjoy carrying an 80lb for 10 miles and sweating through my cammies in 10 degree weather on a strained IT band. I wonder how much all this pampering has affected them and made it difficult to the point where they can't cope with small inconveniences or when equipment or what should be minor details aren't perfect.

And I see what you mean, comparing it to a 20yr adventure with one horse. I hope we get there too but with us right now he's young and changing and I'm young and my life's deciding how it's going to unfold.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good news. Saturday was awesome!! By far the best he's ever been trotted and did some transitions on the lunge line and 

Then I went to Dante's stall and gave him a massage. He was such a love. I also was trying to find answers and possible sore spots in his body. His back was pretty good, left was really good. Left neck around C2-3vertebrae was tight and right neck around C4-5 was tight. It will be interesting to see what the chiropractor says. I don't know. I read the muscle but I can't tell with the bone what exactly need to be adjusted, just rough estimates. then his right side lower on his back more towards his croup was sore and there was a spot that the muscle from his croup to mid back, so I worked with that a bit and it got better but not perfect. I did his whole body and he seemed to really enjoy it, though he had a few spots he was like mom that hurts! Then I just massaged and petted his head and he fell asleep in my arms. I really love him, he really has a good soul even if he sometimes has a bad attitude. He's not mean. I don't think he'd care if he hurt me when he's in a temper but I think he'd be upset if something happened to me. He doesn't really like anyone else. And he nickers at me if I haven't seen him in a few days or sometimes if I leave him alone for too long and always turns to me for comfort when he's scared. He's my baby and I love him.

On a softer note. I'm actually really excited about going to church tomorrow. It's been a long time since I've gone and I feel really guilty.


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## whisperbaby22

Good to hear. When you really are tuned into a horse, they tend to think things over and when you do have a "bad" day, the next time things are already worked out by the time you get to the stable.


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## Tihannah

Wow, just getting caught up, but SO glad you had a better ride on Saturday. I wonder what the culprit was to his naughty behavior. Kicking out at you on the ground is simply unacceptable! What did you do when he did that? He seriously doesn't realize how lucky he is to have someone like you that is willing to work through his episodes. I'd never be able to handle it, especially in the saddle. Glad you were able to get through it without getting hurt though. Please be careful!


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## Tihannah

I wish I could get you and Katie in the chat room! It would be so much easier to have a conversation with you both! ;-)


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## Tazzie

Exactly  Izzie rides how she does because I ask her to and she's trained to do it. Force her, and she will attempt to go up. You can't force them, and it makes me sad seeing the ones that are forced. I feel I can get more out of her by not forcing her to do it.

Oh no, I understand. That's often why we cut rides short. I can feel when she's in zero mood to work. I ask her to do super easy stuff (walk/trot/canter on contact) and we typically call it a day. When she attempts the bolting crap, I make her go until I tell her to stop. Still no fun he was a jerk.

Lol, could be the combo then. They make us want to rip our hair out :lol:

Speaking of, how long have you had Dante? I don't think I know :lol:

Hooray for Saturday being so good! Even better that you could do transitions with him!

And I'm sure Dante loved his massage! That's awesome you can get the saddle fitter out that soon! Hopefully the chiro soon too for his neck! Poor guy! That's sweet he fell asleep in your arms though!

Tina, what chat??


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## Tihannah

It's at the top under categories to select. Says User CP, Horses, then Horse Chat. It's a chat room for members. I've only seen people in their a couple times. I don't think anyone really notices it's there. Lol.


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## Tazzie

I have time now, I can check it out :wink:


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## Tihannah

Tazzie said:


> I have time now, I can check it out :wink:


Awesome! I have question for you! Cassie, Sky, and anyone else that might have time, please pop in!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Boy it's been busy since I've been exploring life lol. And I feel guilty because I still have several journals to update on but tomorrow I'm going to the VA :-( I really don't want to.

I also ate WAY WAY too much and feel sick. I have NO self control with pie. I ate like 800 calories of berry pie. Well and lamb. I like lamb. And mass was gorgeous!

I had a lesson on Dante tonight. He was a LOT better than yesterday. We didn't push him a lot but we schooled some half pass and really emphasized bend and correctness over lateral. We didnt care if he moved laterally as long as bend is correct because that part is more important than lateral step. He took quite a bit to ride but MUCH better bending today, needed some reminders on half halts but LISTENED. I messed with the padding on his saddle and got it better but now 100% so I'm REALLY looking forward to the fitter coming and taking a look and reflocking. His back shape is SO different from when it was originally flocked. Can't wait for him to see the chiropractor and get his saddle re-done. Also signing up for an April show. It will be his first. 

And exactly you REALLY can't force it. Some horses will tolerate it but some you really can't and it's best to leave it alone. Sometimes you have to just bite the bullet and work through it, like if a horse is bucking, bolting, etc don't just get off and call it a day. Ride through it and get somewhere or you've just taught them there is a reward in that behavior but yikes some days really do want to make you rip out all your hair :lol:

And disciplining I basically went you *** hole and smacked him. I didn't beat his butt, I didn't want to rip out the cross ties but he got the message. He's very dramatic about minor correction.

And yes I do think they do mull it over and thinks do sink in better the next day and sometimes you need those rough rides to set boundaries and gain understanding.

Yeah Saturday was a good boy. I'm proud of him. He's come a long way in the last few weeks. 

And with Dante I really don't know why or what's going on in his head. He's not spoiled, he's not mishandled, we're not unfair or mean to him. He's not allowed to get away with a bunch of crap. He's very well treated. He's never been in a bad situation or mismanaged. I know every person who has had him. None of them are bad or spoilers. He grew up on a farm in Pennsylvania! 

And I've owned Dante since January 17 2015 so just over a year. I originally tried him Christmas day, he was quite green. When he came he hadn't been ridden in a few weeks so of course he forgot how to steer and move off of leg lol.

I'm feeling REALLY poor atm. I have SO many registration fees coming up with USEF, USDF, AHA, show fees, special dentist from FL taking a look at him, chiropractor, saddle re-flock, and shows. I'm not rich. Board and training is pretty pricey too.

He's playing with Bailey's over reach boots :lol: he's a goof and SO special. He was freaking out in the cross ties because my trainer was leaning over the arena wall with her hands. He was snorting, all puffed up, eyes the size of plates. I was like dude really? He's such a spook, tried to spook at his poop and I was like no focus, then a little girl walked by and he was like oh dear God death is upon me!! And I put my leg on and did a strong shoulder in and he didn't veer or anything. He's a bit funny about things, you can ride him through it most of the time though. I don't get it but it is what it is.

And oh yes. Dante is a total Mama's boy. He loves one on one time. So massage and being doted on makes him pretty happy :lol: I noticed he likes being talked to, so I'm going to try to do that more. 

I talked with my trainer about riding and theory and different things as well. We usually have some good discussions. I like working with her and have learned a lot. I'm going to try to work with both her and my trainer who is in Fl but coming back soon. They both help me out a lot and both offer good pieces of advice and information. But the information and approach isnt contradictory which is nice. They both aim for correct work but Pam (FL trainer) focuses more on throughness and is great with that and the small details, where as Mari breaks up the small details too but in a different way and she build us in a different way if that makes sense. But it's all good stuff.

And yeah I'm game to go into the chat room sometime. Just need to be told a time lol.


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## Rainaisabelle

Being equestrians I think we are all poor  I have the chiro coming up and a clinic and I'm just like well there goes my money..


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## Tazzie

Boo on the VA, but I'm glad you had a good Easter! Even if you over indulged a little :lol:

Yay for a lesson! And I'm DYING to hear how your show will go! It's always fun taking them to their first show! Honestly though, the excitement doesn't wear off anytime soon. Second full show season for us, and I'm just as excited as I was before!

Oh yeah, we don't give in when she's being bad. Always end on a good note. Just sometimes you can just feel that "I will fight you every step of the way" mood. We all have those days. Those are the days I ask for super easy stuff and call it a day. Doesn't have them all the time, but I get not wanting to work super hard and focused all the time :lol: and I've known her long enough to know that it really isn't worth the fight to prove a point. At least when you have that feel from them (and of course, she only has a light day if she can properly do what I've asked)

Oh no, I didn't figure you beat his butt or anything. I understand light discipline, trust me! And yeah, they don't forget things that easily :lol:

He's just special :lol: though I would imagine if he were to have gone someone else, and then been sold, someone would cry the "he was abused!!" chant. I feel that gets far overused. I'd say that's just who he is, and who he will always be. From what you post, it doesn't sound like you spoil him.

Ah, ok! I didn't catch that :lol: You've come a long way with him in a year!

I know that feeling all too well! All of our fees I paid after January 1st. But all the latest expenses, and frequent chiro visits, have left us lighter than I like to be. Not crazy low, but the desire to stockpile money is strong :lol: Us crazy equestrians!

He is a goof! I will say, I'm glad Izzie is pretty much out of the spook phase in her life. She's been enough places at this point we don't spook easily. I'm glad you can redirect his attention though!

That'll be awesome to work with them both! I'm sure it'll be good for you guys 

Your pictures are awesome! I just love him :lol:

And yes! Can't go in tonight as my mother in law is celebrating her birthday tonight (was on Saturday), but I could tomorrow!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Absolutely! I think all us equestrians are poor! I feel just about broke :lol: I'm not but I feel broke. The money keeps falling off the tree!

Yes :lol: I was not super excited but it's done and over with, painfulness is over! 

lol well me too! Haha I'm excited to see how he'll do at the show. I'm not excited because he'll have no turnout but I'll probably do a TON of hand walking. He's used to turnout. He usually hauls really well though but we'll see how he is first day. I'm expecting spooking and we're going to have a person with cookies at the judges stand to help him learn to cope lol. And moving paper. 

Oh no I'm sure you guys don't. I was just meaning it as a general statement of knowing when to fight through and when it's one of those days where there is nothing you can do and just letting it go and getting off. Don't open a can of worms you can't close sort of thing :lol:

Oh yes! Exposure definitely makes a difference! I hope one day Dante will grow out of it and be less of a weirdo but his dad is pretty spooky, I hope Dante can grow up and be more like Izzy! I bet being around kids and going to the fair grounds and shows really made a difference!

But thank you very much  I hope it works out too and I love him too, even when he's being a jerk. Just really hope we can get this figured out. If not, I'm seriously looking into an animal communicator to see what's up.

I kinda think if he had gone somewhere else he'd have hurt someone. And then someone saying he'd been abused wouldn't surprise me or someone thinking they're a hot shot, know it all trainer getting into him and getting onto him and him flipping over on top of them. I think he's really lucky it worked out the way it did. I really think he'd be a likely abuse case or he'd really hurt someone and eventually end up at an auction somewhere. It's not that he's awful but he doesn't really care if he hurts you and he's SO freaking smart and works out evasions in no time. He's a jump out of no where type of spook and if you let him spook he's way worse than if you're just like hey we're okay, listen to me. He also tends to be hotter than "calm" but if you let him and feed into that energy it gets way worse than if you just get him working. I think it'd be bad in most other situations which is really unfortunate. It's not a good lot in life to be that kind of horse. It's like Sporty. Pam literally flew him over from the UK because she knew he'd probably be abused or put down because he's so quirky. Dante isnt nearly as difficult as Sporty but similar situation. 

No I haven't had him that long. A big part is having my awesome trainers and Dante is really smart/capable and I've developed a few horses before :lol: quite a few greenies/babies/rehab/re training projects. I've gotten to ride some school masters, so I've gotten to school canter piroettes, tempi changes, piaffe, passage, etc. But I mostly just did babies and greenies or retraining projects, get them going well and suddenly it could be used in lessons or the owner could ride it or my trainer wanted to ride it or whatever. The only ride I really got to keep was Sporty but we'll just say Sporty is probably the smartest horse I've ever known, mad genius smart. I got the ride on Sporty because Pam (trainer in Fl) offered me a free lease on Sporty. Who hadn't been ridden in 5 years and now I'm the last one who rode him but I don't have the time or money to get him going, he's 20 now and would need adequan/supplements and things I don't have. He's by far the hardest horse I've ever ridden but he also taught me a lot. And Comet I rode until I left for Parris Island. There's been a lot of horses. So needless to say having my very own who isn't a complete nut case is really pretty awesome :lol: Dante is always rational, he never just chucks off the grid like my eventer.

These are some old videos. I have almost no old videos which sucks but too late now. Just note they're both way easier to ride than Dante. Leo is quirky and definitely has some serious tude but on a whole he can contort himself but not like Dante. He's more straight froward but difference between him and Dante is Dante wants to do a good job and Leo could care less so you have to motivate him but he's also very sensitive, so it has to the exact right way or he'd get upset. But Bailey is like the best school master EVER. He only does as much as you ask but he's VERY honest. If you do it correctly, he'll give you the correct feel and doesn't look for loop holes. You just ask and correct him once and he's like yep I got this. Don't worry. But if you let him he's very lazy but smart as a whip.

4yrs ago Leo, 16.3h hanoverian imported from Germany at a schooling show. He's actually pretty sassy. He literally had started cantering again the month before. He was a rehab project, it took a LONG time to get him to where he was ready to canter. I think you can still see it some in the video. It's his white leg he had a suspensory on and was lame for 2 years. Rehabbed once, didnt hold then I rehabbed him and he's been sound since!

https://youtu.be/5T3MfGvznnk

Bailey 5 1/2 years ago. I had really bad show anxiety, so he really helped me get my confidence back after my old event horse who was a neurotic, blow out mess. He was crazy. I will almost never call a horse crazy but that horse was a nut. All event horse, absolutely miserable as a strictly dressage horse. He's a 15h foundation qh.

https://youtu.be/ZXiw8QzHKjQ

And then baby Dante pictures and him growing up. I didn't own him at this time, so these are not my pictures but his old owner sent them to me after I bought him.


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## frlsgirl

Love pictures of him as a baby - so freaking adorable :loveshower:


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## Tazzie

Hand walking is necessary at all shows! We do a lot of it. I always walk her before thinking of riding since she'll be a spaz (she doesn't live inside ever). And we tie her leadline up in the doorway so she can look out (she never tries to leave)

Exactly! Some cans are better left closed some days :lol:

He'll get there, I'm sure of it! Fairgrounds are not my favorite to ride at, especially during the fairs. Too many rides and kids screaming. But it does make them learn how to focus properly :lol:

An animal communicator may not be that bad of an idea :lol: and absolutely. He fell into the perfect hands!

I know what you mean there too. I did a lot of retraining/greener types when I was back in Michigan. Only school master I got to ride was my boss' gorgeous boy, Khir. He knew changes, and had only just started learning piaffe and passage. So I admit I don't really know how to ride those. It's fine though, since we have a long way to go to reach them right now!

I loved your videos, and I loved the baby pictures! He has such a sweet face, but you can see he's up to something in them :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Ugh really irritated, shouldnt be but I am. I ran into the engineer on the highway so to speak. No crashes or anything like that *thankfully* I'm not 100% it was him, tinted windows but he has a kinda rare car or one unusual to see around where we were driving. But grr it got my adrenaline up, we kinda drove like jack asses trying to avoid each other and kept passing one another. I want absolutely nothing to do with him. I never want to see him or have anything to do with him. He's too much a coward to dare try to contact me after what he did (thankfully) that would resolve nothing. I hope he gets everything he has coming to him, if he treated me like he did. I'm sure he's treated others far worse. People like that usually aren't one time offenders, especially with how skilled a liar/actor he is. He literally set off no alarm bells. Like seriously who makes you go dog shopping and shows you family photos when they're just using you? And says how they think they'd made a mistake and how they missed your little quirks in detail and goes on to have a full discussion on electrical theory when they're just using you. I'm resentful I'll admit but guys have treated me really badly. Maybe I'm a little heated too because I had to discuss an event I almost NEVER discuss, it took me years to be able to talk about it at all. And I really resent having had aspergers all this time and that's part of why I was bullied most of my life, struggled in a lot of really different ways, and why guys have been able to take advantage of and use me so easily. Sorry maybe I'm thinking about it because I had to talk about it for the assessment and it brought a lot of emotions and memories to the surface. It's hard on me to talk about some of it, so I don't like to because it was pretty bad. I used to downplay it but downplaying lets you avoid, not accept.

I've also got a big thing about justice which I'm told is also part of the aspergers. Black and white thinking and really taking it personally and hard when something really "unjust" happens and we don't understand it.

Then psychiatrists office. Good news is she doesn't think I have bipolar (I'm very excited about that one, she said it still could be but she doesn't think it's bad enough to be labeled bipolar) :loveshower: so yay but she thinks I have aspergers with ADHD, depression and anxiety features. Medication wise we're just doing the ADHD meds for now.

Dante gets his saddle reflocked later today. Thursday Chiropractor. So I'm excited about that. And visiting my sister Wednesday-Thursday. SO driving!

------------------------------------------------------

And thank you  he really was a cute baby!

Oh definitely I was thinking lots of hand walking and hand grazing to calm him. He's been a good hauler, he doesn't stress about it but I really hope hand walking around all the flags and "scary" stuff will help him and the more exposure he gets, the better he'll get.

Oh yes. I totally agree :lol: I'm not about addressing every issue, especially if I know I can't focus enough to ride through it lol.

I'm really thinking about it. I heard this Lady is really good and really does a good job, so I'm really looking into it about why Dante has issues, so I need to come up with a list of things to ask. But he really needs to know how lucky he is, maybe I'm lucky he hasn't killed me yet :lol: but he has no idea how good he has it. I don't know very many people who would put up with him.

I understand. I think it helps to have been able to school that and I think it helps show you what your developing towards and kinda gives you a feel in development if that makes sense? But it's not absolutely necessary. And it does. Dressage is definitely a process and sometimes I think people rush through training and go well I put a change and half pass on my horse it can do 3rd level. I retrained a mare who was showing 3rd or 4th and she was so screwed up. She was trained by an FEI rider and she had NO concept of self carriage or a half halt, so couldn't do long and low or balance on a circle correctly. It was a mess and she'd panic because she'd been gotten after a lot by that trainer and her owner. Only horse I've ever seen with callouses the size of rocks on her sides from spur marks. She was such a good mare though, only reason those people aren't dead. But that is one trainer I really have a problem with, she makes horse buck, bolt, and have behavioral problems that shouldn't and she just bullies, pressures and is cruel to them because honestly she can do the trick but he has no process or real understanding of training a horse. Like horse was late in a change and jerks on the curb rein straight up and cowboy kicks a horse with her spurs into their side. She's ridden quirky types who have almost killed her and she just doesn't learn.I can't stand her. She's fake nice to people but I don't think you can be a "nice" person and treat horses like that or be a nice person and belittle a client because they're not "rich."

But thank you lol. I think he's a pretty cute baby too. And oh yes from what his owner at the time said, she said he was a naughty baby :lol: very cheeky and playful. You can see Dante in the center and his mom is on the left.


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## whisperbaby22

Sorry you're going through any problems. Looking forward to the show, though.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I'm looking forward to the show too. It's been years since I've shown and Dante hasn't yet.

With that stuff it's probably best to keep the can of worms closed. I'll just say I never want to date again. I hate dating and the only guys I connect to are psychopaths. It's not giving up, it's saying I love myself way too much to destroy myself for someone who was never worth it. I can cope with a lot, tolerate a lot but I think I've had my limit. They're never worth it. I'd rather hear my cat howl at midnight and keep up all night than ever hear a man swear he loves me one more time because it's a lie or a game or a ploy of some kind to manipulate me and con me into something. 

But good and bad news with Dante's saddle. Bad news is I have to sell his saddle, good news is hopefully we can make him happy and find something that really fits which will hopefully make him happier and easy to ride. Bad news selling saddle and it's expensive. 

First thing saddler says when she see's Dante. He looks like a lusitano. I think in person he looks more like one than in pictures because I get what they're saying when they see him. He liked the saddle fitter but she's a good person, so I'm not surprised (I've known her a few years). He likes good people who are kinda weird. 

She was VERY thorough with him and his saddle just isnt going to fit. It's a straight tree expected to fit a curved spine and it comes WAY too far back on his back. Problem with saddle fit is his shoulders come back quite far, he has a long-thick wither, a VERY short back and a curved spine. He also has asymetrical shoulders, large right, laid back left shoulder. 

I have a temp saddle I can ride him in. An Antares.

Bad news I'm as hard to fit saddle wise as Dante. I can't have anything too deep or it hurts but I still need something supportive enough for 2nd level+ work. I like a medium-medium deep seat. I can't do flat because it's not supportive enough for as we gear towards the higher levels and he's hard to sit. That was something she commented on too is how bouncy he is. Like you can make yourself sit in those flat seats but you have to brace and that's not right either.

Some saddles Amerigo vega, Roosli, riuella, strada and looking at arabian or iberian saddles. Stubben and Passier were mentioned but I HATE them. And I don't know what else I need a short pannel with a rounded tree 17 1/2in with trapezius pannel for his huge shoulders, so the saddle doesn't slide too far forward.


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## Tazzie

Ugh, sorry about seeing the jerk :sad: I hate when I've run into exes. I purposefully ignore them at this point. Yay about not being bipolar though!

I'd give it a shot! Start writing down questions for her, and then I'd contact her. May learn something!

Absolutely! We've gone pretty slow with everything since I want Izzie to be solid all the way up. Sure, it'd be fun to school half passes and changes, but we are NO WHERE near ready for that. And I don't believe in rushing :lol:

I'm sorry about the saddle though  that's a bummer! I know my dream saddle would be an Arabian Saddle Company saddle, if you wanted to look into those. Like sitting on a cloud they are so comfy. Just an option though 

I'm glad you at least have a saddle you can borrow for now. Still sucks it was that bad of a fit!


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## frlsgirl

He sounds like he's built very similar to Ana; I also had a hard time finding something that would work for both of us; she has huge shoulders, solid withers and then her back curves away from the wither area; most saddles would rock on her and sit on her withers; I ended up getting a Mike Corcoran Merit Dressage saddle with wither gussets; I included a close up picture of the gussets; it helps stabilize the saddle so that it doesn't rock or pinch anywhere. It also has serge panels which are softer and slightly more flexible than your standard leather panels; this particular design is made for eventers so it has a shorter flap which works well for my conformation.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I just want nothing to do with him and pray I NEVER see him again, ever. I hold a mean grudge when someone's screwed me over like that and made me think he wanted a future because he knew he couldn't have me if he didn't make those promises and tell me lies. Not okay for a man well into his 30s to play high school games. I have real issues when I feel justice wasn't served because I'm one of those people who can't do that crap, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night and yet some people can do stuff that is clearly immoral and feel no remorse at all. 

If the saddle thing doesn't fix the issues I'm concerned about, I'm definitely contacting the animal communicator but I want to get this fixed first but I'll write a list just in case! I'm trying to save money :lol:

Exactly you want them to be truly there and in a position where it's not pressured but achievable. We're definitely not into the hold it together, make it happen style either. It's not fair to anyone. Gotta have all the pieces on up. 

I looked at arabian saddle company as well but I need some a bit deeper and more closed in angle if that makes sense? And I'm upset too because I had this saddle fitter who is AMAZING and works with olympic riders make it work but it's also her saddle she designed, so *Shrugs* they're great saddles and I love it but can't make it work if it hurts Dante. If the tree is the wrong shape, no amount of flocking can just make it work. My people have a long history of frugality and eternal cheapness :lol: Germans are very stingy.

Part of the issue with Dante and saddle fit is how small his saddle fit area is because he has the 17 vertebrae and his shoulder comes back so far. He needs a trapezius or k pannel to prevent the saddle from slipping forward onto his shoulders because they're set so far back. The whole saddle business is just frustrating in general! He has some similarities to Ana but his shoulder lays back quite a bit further but it looks like a really good saddle! I'll keep my eyes out if I can try one without buying.

Trying to show some pictures to explain what I mean.


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## frlsgirl

I feel your pain; I've spent over 6k in saddles in the 2 years I've had Ana; she's been a pretty good sport about it though. I've even attended a Schleese saddle fitting clinic to learn more about saddle fitting; then I bought their book which provides an overwhelming amount of information. I've developed a bit of a saddle obsession; I've even thought about becoming a fitter/saddle rep on a part-time basis but I don't know if I can make that work with my full-time job. Then I thought about just opening my own used saddle dealer business, just so I have an excuse to try more saddles. Although I love my current saddle, and hope to keep it forever, I have a bucket list of saddles I would love to try:

Custom Icon Flight Short Block
Custom Wolfgang Solo Short Block
Passier Compact
Uta Graef Butterfly Saddle
Ansur Treeless Saddle
Reactor Panel Saddle

If I could just hit that lottery jackpot already.....sigh


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## Tazzie

Hey, I totally understand that! No worries :lol: I'm a grudge holder too, so I get it lol

Yeah, I do hope a new saddle will fix issues! Hopefully it won't take super long to sell your saddle and get a new one! Fingers crossed!

It does, but darn! They are super comfy :lol: though, I haven't ridden in one in over 10 years, so they could have changed... does stink that the tree itself just doesn't fit. Hopefully you find something better!

I understand the small saddle area too. Izzie has a pretty short back, though Dante's may be shorter. Her shoulder doesn't come back as far, but still is a pain. Can't go further than my current saddle as it'd be uncomfortable for her. Not the absolute best picture of her (she hadn't been in consistent work at this time) but shows her saddle area is pretty small too. My saddle is a 17.5", no bigger than that (ideally, smaller!)


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## whisperbaby22

I'm not surprised you need a new saddle. The difference in the muscles are so apparent in the last few photo shoots. Which is good, means you are doing the right thing. But yes, this will be a hard to find fit. I'm in so the opposite camp in most things, and saddles is a good example. For tooling around here at the house, (I have a small ring here,) I use a cashell soft saddle, and for trail I use a natural ride.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I'll respond in a little while. Bad storm knocked out my internet and I'm going to my sister's right now. Really need some sister therapy







and I have to cut my trip short because the Chiropractor is coming tomorrow and he DEFINITELY need it. He can't use himself properly.

And Izzy and him have some shape similarities in the back. You're right his shoulder comes back more but they're very similar. I'll respond in full maybe tomorrow and comment on the other threads, I feel super rude but just wanted to let you k ow what was going on

And thank you so much for the saddle recommendations!! I can't wait to start looking too. I will say I hate schlese though lol I've just ridden in quite a few and I feel like I'm in a hole. I'm really weird about saddles when I get to be picky. I need to feel free but supported and like I can just work with the saddle without fighting but a schlese just locks me in a position and I lose flexibility and elasticity. 

The other thing with the muscle is the EPM treatment lost a lot of muscle tone too. Vet said that's normal but it has changed.

Rode Dante. We jumped today. I haven't jumped him in awhile, to start off with he went long but then we got our distances both directions, on a circle, at a hand gallop or whatever. I was so proud, I started him over fences originally last year and haven't jumped him in a while but he seems to like it. Was also glad I never got him in the mouth and stayed right with him, even when he went long or WAY over jumped. I guess some things you don't really forget. I used to jump 3'3-3'6 and evented. I took lessons for 3ft eq. Lol I had talent for jumping but I struggled SO much with dressage and vowed to go back but hasn't happened yet. And I also realized I have a death wish because I hand galloped Dante to fences. They were teeny tiny like cavaletti but he likes it. But I'm thinking about taking jumping lessons on him with my trainer, the one that is here. 

I don't have hardly any photos and no video from that time but that was when camcorders were cool and developed photos lol some digital. And no one took pics for me. Mom and dad once in a while. Oh well. I just wish I had photos for those memories. I have some from when I was starting out at my first event and another few from playing with my eventer over fences after 6 months no jumping. Too late now, just upset about it lol. 

Also awful storm. I am really glad I was with Dante when the hail was coming down and the thunder was booming. He was rearing up and piaffeing in the cross ties. I put his lead on and stayed with him, he was really upset. I felt really bad. I just talked to him and helped calm him down but he has a nice piaffe. Too bad he was so stressed, when he calmed a little bit I just hugged his neck and he calmed down. It works with stress balls like him.


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## Tazzie

Have fun with your sister! And yay for the chiro!!

I kind of thought they were a bit similar too  And no worries! Enjoy your visit!

Your ride sounds fun! Glad you got to change it up a bit! Sorry he got so stressed though. Hail is no fun at all!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Okay getting back to everyone.

I understand the pain with saddles. Over the years I've probably owned probably 7 or 8 different saddles :lol: I think it's way easier to find a horse then a saddle to fit that horse. It's kinda sad but true. The only good thing is I should get a decent amount for my saddle, it's in good shape. Integrity is good, recently flocked, etc.

I'm not surprised it's saddle either. I knew it wasn't fitting quite right but I didn't think it was THAT bad. But there is nothing we can do with it, tree is a straight tree, Dante has a curved spine so while the flocking trick worked for a few months, it would cost me a fortune to try to maintain it. The amerigo vega is so far what I'm most interested in. My friend offered me to try one, I hope I like it because I can't afford to ship a ton of different saddles, so I'm going to ask around. I'm SO picky, Dante is REALLY picky we're just a match made in heaven lol. I just need something supportive enough for the upper levels but not restrictive. I would rather ride bareback than feel restricted. And he is hard to sit, very bouncy, so I can't tense in my body trying to fight a saddle or keep myself in. I don't really think about it anymore but I rode the Antares which is like a close contact saddle and was like oh yeah this is why I have abs :lol: it's wasn't bad, at least I didn't have to fight it. I didn't do a ton, I just wanted to see how I felt about that saddle. Definitely doesnt' help at all with his canter, his canter has a lot of momentum but a good temporary saddle. Dante is happier.

But good luck finding Izzy a saddle too!! It really isn't easy finding a well fitted saddle, especially when you're looking for a long term saddle.

I forgot to say he didn't buck once in the different saddles, he was still tricky to ride and I didn't ask for a ton because he needs to see the chiropractor. Even when I jump, I still ride them to the contact. They're not in a dressage frame but they're in my hand. I don't just gallop at fences, he's also very confident about it which is why I did a hand gallop. He actually felt like I'd consider taking him cross country some day if he's careful enough stadium but I doubt it :lol: I don't have the money or a trailer, so I think we'll just cross train. 

I don't think the new saddle is going to change him, even bareback I remember he still had his opinions and tantrums. I think it's just who he is. I keep hoping for a magic fix but I think it is his nature and that's okay with me but at least he'll be happier and more comfortable. Like I told the saddler fitter who actually was a 4th level-PSG rider at one time, 20 years from now I want him to still do what he does now. That's the goal, so I'll do whatever will keep him mentally wanting to and physically healthy.

I'm looking forward to seeing our chiropractor, Dante and I are both being adjusted. 

I also felt really bad for him with the hail, his heart was pounding so fast and he was screaming and piaffeing in the cross ties after he reared up. 

This was after our ride yesterday. He likes to play, so I was like okay let's play. My voice doesn't really sound like that, I swear :lol: but lighting struck pretty close by and I was like we're going in. I don't want anybody to get struck. I'd be at a loss without him. He's my baby. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr8_28QCTUA


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## frlsgirl

Hmmm we also had thunder and lightning and an actual tornado in our area; you must be living in the midwest? Did you get any wind or tornado damage? Our barn is fine and neighborhood are both fine but people north of us got hit pretty hard.

I love watching horses at liberty; he looks like he's really having fun


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## Tazzie

Oh I agree that finding a horse is easier than finding a well fitting saddle! Didn't take me any time to find Izzie. I know I'm in for the long haul to find a more permanent saddle (or at least long term enough we could afford another one)

I'm glad the temporary saddle will work out though! And that he was happier  Makes working a lot more fun! And I agree; it doesn't sound worthwhile to try and just keep reflocking it. Much better to start over with the correct tree shape.

Cross training can still be loads of fun!

As for the issues, I hadn't meant resolve all of them :lol: I was more meaning his dislike for going forward and feeling ouchy. I know he is who he is at this point :lol:

Nick and I still need a chiro... Izzie gets checked again on the 16th before our next big show. Nick and I need to make ourselves a priority one of these days!

That just sounds scary :sad: poor boy!

I LOVED watching that video! He looked like he was having so much fun! And the pictures are awesome!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Yes I live in the midwest. No we fortunately did not have too much wind or wind clouds (they freak me out) those kind of storms terrify me. We had one touch a few miles from the barn a few years ago. That was terrifying, fortunately it wasn't a powerful one! I'm sorry you guys had one. That's why I live where I do because they're relatively rare...I hope it stays that way.

I love watching them at liberty too! He loves to move. He's a very photogenic and "flashy" guy. He loves to show off and play. Super playful personality.

Exactly :lol: saddle hunting/fitting SUCKS!! It's expensive, frustrating and it's always like well how long is this saddle going to last? And definitely not. I looked at it and was like I need something long lasting. The other issue is his back is so broad. The fitter was like he's probably one of the trickiest horses I've fit and I'm like awesome lol.

Oh definitely! I'm really excited about cross training. We don't have to jump anything big but I think it's good for them and they like doing something different. Definitely helps with the canter!

Oh no. I didn't think I was just kinda explaining to myself because with horses I ALWAYS look for the excuse (same with people) or try to find some reason why they do what they do and now I'm more like well it just is what it is and sometimes there isn't a whole lot you can do about that. 

lol I imagine when you become a parent everybody kinda comes before you guys. You have Izzy and your two kids, I can easily see how the priorities work and IMO that's how it should be but I do hope you guys can get in and take care of yourselves too!!

It really was. I was calm, didn't care if my car got hail damage because I had to stay with Dante. He was so upset and I get it, I'd be absolutely terrified too if I had no idea or understanding what was going on and just knew it was loud and something weird was happening. The hail was quite large about dime piece size. We've had golf ball size before too. I HATE hail.

Thanks  I enjoy watching him have fun. He loves to play and move. Definitely not a lazy horse.

------------------------------------------------------------

Hard to explain how I feel today. On one side I'm very happy, on the other side I've been really think about why I get up in the morning and it's kind of a sad thought but Dante really is my reason for living. It's a good thing but I look at my future outlook (long term planner) and I think I'll have a decent career but I really can't see myself ever getting married or having kids which is something I desperately want someday. But if I'm really honest I don't see that ever happening. I don't have it in me to ever invest in another person or to let someone into my life and I hate dating. I don't understand games at all, I'm a terrible liar, and modern dating is basically games, bs, and superficial nonsense I'm not into and have no patience or tolerance for. 

Silly video of Dante after I fed him a banana. He enjoyed his chiropractic appointment. He was cracking up the chiropractor and his son. Dante is hilarious, he's just super interactive and if he likes someone. He just gets involved. He had quite a bit out in his back and C7 was really jammed. They were both commenting on none of the horses they work on interact like he does. He cracks me up. Then I spent some time entertaining them with stories and making them laugh. I like to make people laugh or entertain, it gives me purpose. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzOqv8X6ieU

Dante eating a banana. He eats the whole peel but I take the stem off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkHthsaWHyw

Nothing special pictures wise. I gave Sporty some one on one time and bathed him. I need to spend more time with him, I really feel guilty when I don't. I know he's not my responsibility but he needs more attention and he and I are still really close. He's the only horse Dante gets upset about if I spend time with him. He kept nickering at me, like mom that's not your kid!! What about me mom?!

3rd picture is Dante next to Bailey. I LOVE Bailey, he's a super cool horse. He's a solid 15h foundation qh. It just stunned me because of how tall Dante look next to him, Dante's not a big horse. Just under 16h but he looks huge which was kinda surprising to me. In person it looked like this too. Just for the record those two are best friends and know each other REALLY well. Plus Bailey likes everyone and Dante is pretty friendly with everyone too.


----------



## frlsgirl

Love the picture of the two geldings greeting each other; it's like they both try to puff themselves up to look taller 

Ana does the same thing when she meets a taller horse, which is basically every horse she meets since she's only 14'2


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## Tazzie

Playful is fun!

That's always fun to hear from a saddle fitter :lol:

Haha, yeah, sometimes they are what they are. Not much will change them.

Oh I know. I told Nick I'd sit down and remember who the chiro was that was recommended for us. Just have to find the number and call :lol:

We hate hail too! We had a hail storm for our show in April last year. Was god awful. Izzie was like "eh, whatever, I have hay." My friend stuffed cotton in her mare's ears to help her (settled her instantly). Others were flipping out around us, but their owners were tending to them. Nick was mad about his truck :lol: no damage to it though.

I'm sorry you are feeling so crummy :sad: I understand not wanting to date anymore though. It's frustrating, and men can suck (can, not saying all of them do). There are still sweet ones out there though! But I'd take a break for a while anyway. Who knows what'll happen in a few years.

I'm glad he was seen though! Ouch for his neck though! Glad he should be good and straightened out now!

Those videos are priceless! He looks to really love his banana!

I'm glad you got time with Sporty too  I'm sure he loved that!

That QH is adorable! And Dante does look huge next to him!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Yes they kinda were but they 

Oh yes. Sporty loved some one on one time. He's a doll when he loves you but if he doesn't he's a jerk. He and Dante have a very similar personality. I just love Sporty and Dante reminded me of Sporty :lol: I told a lady at the barn I missed riding Sporty and she was like why? He looks like a pain in the butt and I was like I know but he's Sporty. He can be really good sometimes too...maybe it's the nostalgia?

Oh yes. Same with people. Sometimes it's no one's fault, they just come out of the womb that way.

lol that's great Izzy doesn't care as long as there is something to munch on. Maybe she's used to it?

That's true. For me it's more I can't really tell who is genuine and who isn't. I don't have that perceptive ability because I perceive things logically. I have instincts but part of why the last one messed me up so much is because my instincts gave me no warning. There was nothing saying something is wrong. And for me EVERY single guy I've dated and invested in has been exactly the same and I can't tell who is decent and who is a psychopath. What my exs have done to me is technically WAY worse but what messed me up so bad is realizing I can't perceive whose decent and who is a monster. And me having aspergers REALLY doesn't help because I really don't understand things that normal people do and I don't cope as well as I should. Betrayal, deception, being tricked in that way. I cant do it again. 

Me too. I'm very thankful for our chiropractor. I was a mess and he straightened me out and he helped Dante so he felt better. He looked a LOT more comfortable to travel left after he was seen. I was quite thankful. And yes Dante has such a good sense of humor. He's just so interactive and funny

Thank you. I LOVE Bailey. He is such a rare soul. He's one of those horses who is EXTREMELY smart but anyone can ride him. He's super fun to ride, even though he's uncomplicated. He's a VERY straight forward, very honest and very literal. If you make a mistakes he doesn't do anything naughty but he doesn't do it until you get it right but in the show ring. He is SO impressive. He looks like a mini warmblood. You notice him even though he's little. He doesn't feel little when you're on him either. He's honestly the perfect school master. He can school 3rd level but he can't show past 1st because it's unfair to ever ask him to sit that much for long periods of time. He physically can't and he'll work himself into the ground for you. He could have a leg missing and I bet he'd still try. I rode him a few months ago to practice changes and half pass :lol: then we'd stretch, bring him up, stretch bring him up to stretch out his back. Gah I had a clinic ride on him a few years ago I wish I had video of. He was phenomenal. He LOVES extensions :lol: he just gets totally wrapped up and thinks he's the fanciest, most impressive horse ever. I just love him if you can't tell :lol: And he will ride like a pokey qh if you let him but pick him up and he's just a cool dude.

I know I've posted these but I looked at Dante free moving and I'm just stunned how dressage training can even change how they move naturally. It makes sense but it just astonishes me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD3wcrQl0ro

I know I've posted these but our first ride. It still amazes me how much he's changed. I knew he had a lot more in him than what he showed, everyone thought I was crazy. They thought I'd lost my mind because they didn't see the potential. And I was like hey. I'm sorry I don't have 50k to spend on a prospect but I think he has potential. I tried thoroughbreds before him but they didn't come close to having the same potential. Even green as grass (the mare was super green) she was easier to ride and would have been WAY easier to develop then Dante but he's a nicer horse. I think when we get his saddle fixed he'll be much better about things but he's presented me with a lot of unique challenges. I can say I've never ridden a horse as crafty about evasions as he is. I've ridden ones that were pretty crafty but Dante created a separate league on that. Taught me a LOT though. I am definitely a better rider because he's a pain in the butt :lol: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibYEAVa0p2A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=870-39wtIzU

My goal is to get some video of me riding a broke horse that isnt Dante :lol:

This is basically all the video I have left of the mare I tried. I delted the video before I discovered how to upload onto youtube and wanted storage space on my phone but I had the instagram video. unfortunately the video is from the end of our ride and not the beginning because my friend forgot to video and she was green as grass. Like she actually didnt really steer :lol: she was going better earlier and I was actually seriously considering buying her. She was lazy but I think it's only because she was out of shape and green. I prefer mares to geldings and I don't really like stallions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAUIyTIBnMc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifUhfGeibLE


----------



## DanteDressageNerd

Ive opted not to do the show as I dont have a saddle Dante likes and don't want our first show experience to be a bad one. He doesn't like the antares. I'm not 100% sure why but he doesn't like it and absolutely refuses to bend. I couldn't get him true at all and did all kinds of contortions to avoid using his back, so I took off the saddle and rode bareback and he was perfect. He was like THANK GOD mom! He wasn't happy with that saddle.

My main trainer just came back from FL last night. I have a feeling she's going to try to convince me to keep my saddle and just have it looked at but I'm not paying 200 dollars every month or so to keep it going. That's just wasteful, I need a more permanent solution. Immediately it may be more expensive but long run cheaper.

I've been doing TONS of research trying to find us a new saddle and it makes me want to rip my hair out because I have a feeling we're going to need to go custom. He's SO hard to fit. I looked as an anky saddle but the problem with that is I need a saddle with open, wide back pannels and it kinda bows in. I had to sell my amerigo alto because it bowed in and pinched him, so he reared up on my trainer for literally asking him to steer. He went straight up. It has to fit well, it can't "kinda" or "mostly" fit.

I need a saddle with a curved tree, short pannel for his short back, wide open pannels all the way down the back with a trapezius or K pannel in the front so the saddle doesnt slide up onto his shoulders  my goals is to spend around 2k but I think that's really unrealistic. He'll need a newer model if we're lucky enough to find used. My goal is NOT to go custom. Medium-deep 17 1/2 medium wide or wide tree. It also needs to be fleece, no foam, needs to have a wide back pannels because his back is broad.

The ones I like best so far are albion saddles. The SLK models are supposed to have a curved tree.

There is a local fitter who sells Albion saddles but she's not super competent about fit and I don't know enough to be like no you're wrong and that's just plain rude when you're ordering something through someone. And then it gets political because I know all the fitters and I'm not politically savvy. I'm more like who does the job the best and is the most competent? Because I'm seriously considering buying custom as a last resort but it makes me want to vomit to think about spending that kind of money. I'm from a German family, I was raised around finances and understanding the value of dollar. We're VERY stingy. Even my relatives with money are stingy. It's considered bad manners and poor class to flaunt wealth, especially if you have it. Spend below your means and you will have plenty.

This one Laura Tomlinson rides in. And it's cheaper than the revelation if I go custom. I think it's 4600?

Albion Platinum Royale Review | Dressage Saddles

I like the seat design on this one better but I have never ridden in one. I've sat in one but not ridden. And it's like a 5k+ saddle which makes me feel sick. I really-really dont want to go custom. Buying a new saddle is like buying a new car, it loses value the moment you sit in it so if it didn't work out. Well too bad Im out the money. There is NO guarantee it will fit properly even if you get a fully custom schlese saddle. I know several people who bought custom saddles and their horses HATED it. Like horse would be sound on the lunge line and put the saddle on and the horse goes 3 legged lame.

Fit Right Saddlery - Dressage Saddles

If I do that I don't think I'm showing this summer. It takes months to get a custom saddle, plus if I spend that on a saddle there is NO way I could afford a show season. Hair ripping beings, saddles shopping is a pain! I haven't sent in my registrations yet. My goal was to show this summer and get the 1st level qualifications towards my bronze medal and show 2nd end of summer-September-October area then next year 2nd and 3rd but I kinda think that plan is out the door :lol: I've been wanting to do this for a LONG time. I just didn't have the money to own my own horse, let alone being able to afford training and showing for a long time. So for me it was kinda like the first time I could have an actual show season :lol: When you think it's all going to work out, something is out of place. There are ALWAYS set backs. One way or another they will appear without fail. Just have to have a good sense of humor about it, laugh and keep going. I've been trying for about 8-9 years to have an actual show season and it just never happens. It's kinda funny.


----------



## Rainaisabelle

Sucks about the show! I know you were looking forward to it.

If I might make a recommendation... My TB has a tiny back and a high wither and it was an absolute pain in the bum to fit him but my saddle fitter recommended a Peter Horobin they're really nice and highly adjustable.


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## whisperbaby22

In a perfect world, horses would all have custom saddles, that's the way I feel about bits. Each horse should have a custom bit. Your problem is that you have a sensitive horse, besides the hard to fit problem. I just don't have any answers here, but I am sorry you will not be able to show.


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## Tazzie

Could be the nostalgia of it  who knows lol

As far as hail, no, Izzie isn't used to it. We've never before, or really since, had hail. That's just her nature on the ground/in a stall.

That would get frustrating. I know a really awesome guy (our friend/barn owner) who is about as sweet as they come, and genuine. Not a genius, but he is smart. I don't know too many other truly genuine men (aside from Nick of course.)

Glad you got all fixed up too!

Bailey sounds really fun! Shame he can't sit like he'd want to, but that's awesome he's kept as happy as possible.

That mare looks nice, but I would have favored Dante too.

Shame about the show :sad: I really hope you find something that makes him happy! And yeah, we've had a few fails to start show season when we were attempting to start. It happens. Always next year! I totally get how you feel about saddles, trust me!


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## knightrider

Awww, what a bummer about the saddle. I was looking forward to reading about your show season. I am so sorry it hasn't worked out.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Rainaisabelle said:


> Sucks about the show! I know you were looking forward to it.
> 
> If I might make a recommendation... My TB has a tiny back and a high wither and it was an absolute pain in the bum to fit him but my saddle fitter recommended a Peter Horobin they're really nice and highly adjustable.


Thank you for the suggestion. I may add them to my list of things to look for. Your boy is lovely, though I kinda have a soft spot for thoroughbreds 

And yes. He is very sensitive. When I bought him, I thought okay quarter horse and arab. Grew up on a farm, he's got to be hardy and low maintenance. I also thought oh I've loved the arabs I've worked with and I've loved the quarter horses I've worked with. This has got to be the best of both worlds :lol: I was a little naive but I love him as he is. He's very sensitive about things but also belligerent and opinionated. I'm just thankful he's been in good hands his whole life. Horses like him don't get better or toughen up, they just get more protective, more hostile, and more neurotic if pressured or start making pain associations which is the only reason why I'm seriously looking into custom. I can technically afford it, if I have to but I like having savings. 

I'm honestly pretty disappointed. I was like finally I can afford to do this lol but how else does it work though, really? I find humor in it. You just have to laugh because that's just how it goes. I'm of the school of, you don't always get what you want and if you really want it bad enough, it just aint going to happen. Also if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. And don't bother making plan because those don't work out either :lol: I have long terms plans and make step by step plans but then I have plans for when those plans don't work :lol:

My dad actually told me the other day that he admired me because even though Ive failed a lot, I somehow seem to come out better after every failure. I'm just stubborn that way :lol: he called me crazy like a fox which is an expression I hadn't heard before.

Other thing my trainer broke her foot or ankle, so that's pretty upsetting. So I think my other trainer has WAY more horses than she can ride because she's also a trainer at a hunter/jumper barn and show season is picking up. She has more than enough on her plate :/ So I'm not 100% sure whose going to be riding all these horses. And Angel (my friend I break horses with) and I are booked. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I just want to ride Sporty because of how much he taught me and how much I improved and learned riding him. Such a crafty boy, definitely learn innovation. Lots of things and techniques that only work with that horse :lol: he's a special cookie but I love him. He's like riding a cat, doesn't use normal horse logic. Just a weird horse.

That's pretty good. I'm really glad she doesn't stress out about that. Definitely healthier to have that outlook! Horses that stress a lot make me worry because it can make them more prone to ulcers. 

I think with that whole thing it's just hard to figure who is real and genuine and who isn't. They're very rare. And I think it's great you and Nick found each other. It really seems like you guys are well suited. You treat each other well and appreciate one another  

It is :-( he has something wrong with his sacroiliac joint, so he gets injections once or twice a year for that. I don't know the full story but that's part of why he's not pushed. Most of his work is 1st level and below. Once in a while he does more but he's never "pushed" because he really would work himself lame for you. Very easy to get greedy on a horse like him. He's a really great horse.

She was. I thought she had potential. Definitely nicer than a lot of tbs I looked at but Dante made me buy him, just stuck his head in my arms and I melted :lol: I had NO idea he'd turn out like he did. I thought he was just a sweet baby who was a little nervous :lol: I knew he had some tude but I didn't know the extent. He did remind me of Sporty which is part of why I loved him.

Oh I'm sure! You're going on that adventure too! It's a pain!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm really looking at the albion SLK (they have several models). I talked to my friend, Angel about it some more and she really recommended them. The SLK has the curved tree and they have a thing where you can change the gullets and adjust the pannels plus it's wool flocked. I could justify buying new if it really was that adjustable and there are some used available! Goal is used and to maybe have the albion lady come out to try some saddles. Only thing that sucks about my barn is how regimented it is. I'm fully aware of chain of command but I can't bring someone in without permission. A whole political circle I don't really get. I hate being controlled and limited like that. I think for myself and I'm independent but that's how it is.

Dante was awesome to ride today. We had some discussions and things to work through. But he was REALLY good. I love riding bareback. I'd stay bareback if that were allowed. He just seems so happy and I don't have to wear boots. We did a lot of shoulder in and just getting proper flexion and straightness work. SO straight down quarterline, for whatever reason it really straightens him. Then leg yield and transitions to get him really using his back. His canter felt amazing, he got lots of love and scratches. He was a good boy. Then he got a bath and was very pampered. The girl who works at the barn said for an ornery as he is, he sure gets spoiled. He's a princess.

I rode Saturday who was very distracted today. Didn't feel safe going posting because he needed more help keeping focused and on track. It made me realize how innovative you really have to be when riding babies, they dont know things like a grown horse and and unbroke horse really doesn't know much at all so you have to play around and find something that works.

I'm also proud of myself because I've stopped investing in people who don't give back. People can call it selfish or whatever but truth is you get worn out giving and trying for someone who doesn't appreciate you. You get tired of trying when someone else cant be bothered.


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## Rainaisabelle

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Rainaisabelle said:
> 
> 
> 
> Sucks about the show! I know you were looking forward to it.
> 
> If I might make a recommendation... My TB has a tiny back and a high wither and it was an absolute pain in the bum to fit him but my saddle fitter recommended a Peter Horobin they're really nice and highly adjustable.
> 
> 
> 
> Thank you for the suggestion. I may add them to my list of things to look for. Your boy is lovely, though I kinda have a soft spot for thoroughbreds
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And yes. He is very sensitive. When I bought him, I thought okay quarter horse and arab. Grew up on a farm, he's got to be hardy and low maintenance. I also thought oh I've loved the arabs I've worked with and I've loved the quarter horses I've worked with. This has got to be the best of both worlds
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I was a little naive but I love him as he is. He's very sensitive about things but also belligerent and opinionated. I'm just thankful he's been in good hands his whole life. Horses like him don't get better or toughen up, they just get more protective, more hostile, and more neurotic if pressured or start making pain associations which is the only reason why I'm seriously looking into custom. I can technically afford it, if I have to but I like having savings.
> 
> I'm honestly pretty disappointed. I was like finally I can afford to do this lol but how else does it work though, really? I find humor in it. You just have to laugh because that's just how it goes. I'm of the school of, you don't always get what you want and if you really want it bad enough, it just aint going to happen. Also if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. And don't bother making plan because those don't work out either
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I have long terms plans and make step by step plans but then I have plans for when those plans don't work
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> My dad actually told me the other day that he admired me because even though Ive failed a lot, I somehow seem to come out better after every failure. I'm just stubborn that way
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> he called me crazy like a fox which is an expression I hadn't heard before.
> 
> Other thing my trainer broke her foot or ankle, so that's pretty upsetting. So I think my other trainer has WAY more horses than she can ride because she's also a trainer at a hunter/jumper barn and show season is picking up. She has more than enough on her plate :/ So I'm not 100% sure whose going to be riding all these horses. And Angel (my friend I break horses with) and I are booked.
> 
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> I think I just want to ride Sporty because of how much he taught me and how much I improved and learned riding him. Such a crafty boy, definitely learn innovation. Lots of things and techniques that only work with that horse
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> he's a special cookie but I love him. He's like riding a cat, doesn't use normal horse logic. Just a weird horse.
> 
> That's pretty good. I'm really glad she doesn't stress out about that. Definitely healthier to have that outlook! Horses that stress a lot make me worry because it can make them more prone to ulcers.
> 
> I think with that whole thing it's just hard to figure who is real and genuine and who isn't. They're very rare. And I think it's great you and Nick found each other. It really seems like you guys are well suited. You treat each other well and appreciate one another
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> It is
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> he has something wrong with his sacroiliac joint, so he gets injections once or twice a year for that. I don't know the full story but that's part of why he's not pushed. Most of his work is 1st level and below. Once in a while he does more but he's never "pushed" because he really would work himself lame for you. Very easy to get greedy on a horse like him. He's a really great horse.
> 
> She was. I thought she had potential. Definitely nicer than a lot of tbs I looked at but Dante made me buy him, just stuck his head in my arms and I melted
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I had NO idea he'd turn out like he did. I thought he was just a sweet baby who was a little nervous
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I knew he had some tude but I didn't know the extent. He did remind me of Sporty which is part of why I loved him.
> 
> Oh I'm sure! You're going on that adventure too! It's a pain!
> 
> -----------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> I'm really looking at the albion SLK (they have several models). I talked to my friend, Angel about it some more and she really recommended them. The SLK has the curved tree and they have a thing where you can change the gullets and adjust the pannels plus it's wool flocked. I could justify buying new if it really was that adjustable and there are some used available! Goal is used and to maybe have the albion lady come out to try some saddles. Only thing that sucks about my barn is how regimented it is. I'm fully aware of chain of command but I can't bring someone in without permission. A whole political circle I don't really get. I hate being controlled and limited like that. I think for myself and I'm independent but that's how it is.
> 
> Dante was awesome to ride today. We had some discussions and things to work through. But he was REALLY good. I love riding bareback. I'd stay bareback if that were allowed. He just seems so happy and I don't have to wear boots. We did a lot of shoulder in and just getting proper flexion and straightness work. SO straight down quarterline, for whatever reason it really straightens him. Then leg yield and transitions to get him really using his back. His canter felt amazing, he got lots of love and scratches. He was a good boy. Then he got a bath and was very pampered. The girl who works at the barn said for an ornery as he is, he sure gets spoiled. He's a princess.
> 
> I rode Saturday who was very distracted today. Didn't feel safe going posting because he needed more help keeping focused and on track. It made me realize how innovative you really have to be when riding babies, they dont know things like a grown horse and and unbroke horse really doesn't know much at all so you have to play around and find something that works.
> 
> I'm also proud of myself because I've stopped investing in people who don't give back. People can call it selfish or whatever but truth is you get worn out giving and trying for someone who doesn't appreciate you. You get tired of trying when someone else cant be bothered.
Click to expand...


I'm a big TB person absolutely love them! Although I wouldn't mind a warm blood!


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## Tazzie

I wish I could go back and ride the horses that made me the rider I am today. Most of the ones I knew have either passed away or been sold. There was one mare I'd buy in a heartbeat if I could find her. Little bay Hano/TB mare. Longest back I've ever seen in person, but SO much heart and try. Had the mindset of "I'm not sure how well I can do this, but I'll do it for you." The word "no" was not in her vocabulary. I wouldn't even know where to start looking for her. She'd be around 16 now I think. She was 5 when I was riding her. Anyway, I can see why you'd want to ride Sporty at least :lol:

Yeah, she's one that doesn't normally work herself up on the ground. Under saddle she will if she gets confused, but not normally on the ground.

They certainly are rare  I'm very thankful I have Nick in my life 

Poor Bailey :sad: at least they are keeping him comfortable!

I still think you chose well though :lol:

Sorry to hear about your trainer :sad: that's no fun!!

As for the saddle, it'd be worth a try! That does stink you have to ask permission though :sad: that would drive me insane at this point!

I'm glad you had another good ride on Dante today! You're braver than I am riding bareback :lol: And he deserves to be pampered!

Saturday sounds interested to ride for sure. Babies are always interesting to ride.

I totally understand though! I stopped that a while ago. Lost a couple of user friends, but figured out who would truly be there for me. I feel my "circle" is tighter because of it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Ahh I always WANT to write this short but then I start writing :sad: I'm a lost cause.

Thoroughbreds have really big hearts and they try and generally I think they mean well. The ones I've ridden, know, retrained and my old eventer (he had anxiety issues) but they all have really big hearts and have a kindness to them which I like and admire. They're also not generally crafty which is good too.

Exactly! That little mares sounds really sweet and nice, do you know what happened to her? A big heart and work ethics can take you anywhere IMO lol. That's like my old eventer I wish I could go back with him and start over. He was REALLY talented. I think he'd have turned out differently if I knew what I was doing, rather than making so many mistakes. He was a freak over fences, really hard to stay with over bigger stuff because he rounded so much and would pop his back sometimes. He was very brave and careful cross country. 17h unraced thoroughbred.

That makes sense to me, I don't blame Izzy. I'd probably be the same way as a horse.

It is. I think when you've encountered a lot of bad people, you really appreciate the good ones in your life when you find them. I'm glad you have each other 

Absolutely. We're big on keeping the horses/happy and comfortable and not pushing them outside of their comfort zone. Part of why I'm at the barn I'm at. Only barn in the area that I think has a correct-sytematic approach to training. I've been to, seen clinics, seen the riders from the other barns and it's more like they care more about pushing riders up the levels than teaching people how to ride well. At the local shows past 2nd level, I actually see a lot of training-1st riders who IMO are better riders than a lot of the AA or JR/YR doing 2nd level and above. Some are okay or good but a lot I'm just like I feel sorry for you that your trainer pushed you up the levels too quickly and now you're doing 3rd-4th and can't make it through the test because you didn't learn what you were meant to at training and 1st or they have a schoolmaster who will get them through the test but the horse's aren't true or through or demonstrate good basics. It's all about the basics and I don't get why that part gets skipped in riders and horses education, sure some consider it the "boring" part but it's the foundation. 

I know personally I grew up at the crappy barns, riding not so nice horses and I actually think though I'm not a "pretty" rider, I'm glad that's where I started vs where I am now. Where everything is confined. I think you learn something galloping bareback across the fields. Falling off, making dumb decisions and not knowing what you're doing. You make a lot more mistakes and I think riders like that aren't as "pretty" riders but you learn to be innovative, to think for yourself and you have a certain stickability you wouldn't have otherwise. There's a lot of times I should have fallen off but didn't because for whatever reason I kinda "stick." I think because I've had to ride through so many nasty spooks, being bolted off with, bucking, etc All stuff with the horses I was riding that could have been prevented but I didn't know it at the time. That was something Angel and I discussed yesterday too because neither of us are "pretty" riders but we're very effective. She's a brilliant baby rider. And we both like our horses quirky :lol: we like hotter, reactive ones that need special mommies. Neither of us like the heavy, stereotype warmbloods. She has trakehners and I will say I LOVE trakehners. She's had a lot of setbacks too :lol: we just laugh about it with saddle issues and whatever, plans are bad because if you don't make plans your always thrilled when something works out but when you make plans and they don't you're disappointed. 

It does. That is one thing I don't like about my trainer coming back. Like the saddle fitter I brought in, I don't think I would have been allowed to had I not consulted her first. She likes to be in control of the situation, for most of the AA's I agree it keeps situations from escalating but I'm very independent and I'm not going to buy something just because that's what everyone else has or what's popular right now, I want what will work for me and my horse the best. So I'm going to ask permission to bring the albion lady in so I know what make and model works for Dante and what one works for me and how much I'm probably going to end up spending. 

Me too. He's happy bareback and he still has tantrums when he's convinced I'm doing something wrong but then he realizes I was right and then he's like oh, okay maybe I wasn't right. He's been like that since he was a baby learning to steer, he was not convinced I was doing it right then realized it was easier and was like huh, well how about that? He just fights you on it. I'm not sure if I'm brave or stupid or I kinda feel safe with Dante in a way, as crazy as that may sound. He's very bouncy and bounced me out of the pad in a few transitions :lol: but I feel like he's happy and I like it because I can feel every part and can in a way ride him "better" because of it. If that makes sense? It's just raw communication.

And yes babies are definitely interesting! Once you're at a certain point, they teach you a LOT about riding because you've gone through the whole process, rather than having a finished product.

Absolutely. It's better to have a tight circle of people who are genuinely there for you, rather than people who keep you around only so they can use you when it's convenient for them. I'm big on reciprocity when it comes to friendships. Sometimes you can't repay people for the kindness but I try to show gratitude and if people aren't grateful for me and just expect me to give, give, give without giving back than I stop making an effort. You want the people there to be a team mate, not someone who just drains you dry.


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## Dehda01

Look into a black county saddle. Or a bench made English saddle. Even custom made will be much less expensive then most other saddles out there. English made saddles are true diamonds in the rough. They can come with all the bells and whistles with a much lower price tag.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## frlsgirl

Oh man, I hate barn politics; I'm also very independent and hate having to ask for permission. My new barn is very laid back plus the BO is generally always around to help me if I have a question or need help with something. 

Albions were also recommended to me and I test rode a few of them but I didn't work with a rep; I just got them on loan from a tack shop, and the ones I tried just weren't the right size for us. They are very nice saddles though.

I enjoy bareback work as well, but I'm not brave enough to canter bareback yet. Her canter is rather bouncy and rushy atm so I'm holding off until her canter settles down a bit. It is on my bucket list though so even if her canter never improves I WILL canter her bareback on day, lol.

And yes, I also only have a very small circle of friends/people that I keep in touch with; most women my age are married with children and can't relate to me at all and vise versa, so I mostly stick to horse people.


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## Tazzie

You aren't a lost cause! I enjoy reading :wink:

I don't have any idea where that mare wound up. My former boss/trainer I don't think ever kept in touch with her after she went back. She was one of my first training projects. A bunch of 11-14 year old girls had "trained" her. She knew walk, trot, and then clamp her eyes shut and bolt. I gave her a few days before I even entertained the idea of canter with her. I loved that mare. Maybe one day I can track her down. I know who owned her when she was sent to me for training. Just also knew she was for sale, which everything this woman owned was. I get that though. Would always be nice to go back and fix the mistakes!

Ugh, I know. I've seen some pretty crummy riders. I see them often in the Arab circuit where they just aren't they fun to watch because you can see they had no foundation (both horse and rider, sadly). You can pick out the good ones from a mile away though.

Truly though, who cares if you are a pretty rider as long as you are effective? My copy cat is a "pretty" rider, but she can't ride worth a dang. Every post I see her horse is in a false frame with a hollow back. Now, I know we have pictures that are that way too, but we've also been working toward total throughness, which we have been getting. But her position is lovely. She just can't get out of her horse what a trainer could.

I hope they let you bring in that rep! I'd like to think your saddle buying adventure is way shorter than mine :lol:

I'd attempt bareback on Izzie at more than a walk/trot, if I actually had walls. Her canter has A LOT of power to it now, and I wouldn't feel confident doing it out in the wide open fields that is our "arenas." Maybe one day when Nick builds me a true indoor arena :lol:

Exactly! My best friend is my biggest cheerleader, and vice versa. We're both there to help each other every step of the way. As it should be. I don't have tolerance for people who use me, or will pretend they are my friend and talk crap about me behind my back. I like my circle small


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## DanteDressageNerd

frlsgirl said:


> Oh man, I hate barn politics; I'm also very independent and hate having to ask for permission. My new barn is very laid back plus the BO is generally always around to help me if I have a question or need help with something.
> 
> Albions were also recommended to me and I test rode a few of them but I didn't work with a rep; I just got them on loan from a tack shop, and the ones I tried just weren't the right size for us. They are very nice saddles though.
> 
> I enjoy bareback work as well, but I'm not brave enough to canter bareback yet. Her canter is rather bouncy and rushy atm so I'm holding off until her canter settles down a bit. It is on my bucket list though so even if her canter never improves I WILL canter her bareback on day, lol.
> 
> And yes, I also only have a very small circle of friends/people that I keep in touch with; most women my age are married with children and can't relate to me at all and vise versa, so I mostly stick to horse people.


Thank you for the suggestion  I agree. I like English made saddles because they still use a wood tree and wool flocking, more traditional and they're well made. There is saddlery that owns Patrick's saddlery that does fully custom for about 4-6k and I heard they're really good saddles. They make the tree for the horse and design a saddle for the rider. Ive met with them before at regionals. Albion's are English made. I've looked into country and custom saddlery. I've ridden in a few and they were okay but not made for me, so I don't know if it would be a good fit or not. I'm open to try them if something comes along or I locate a rep bit it gets crazy expensive trying a bunch of saddles to have them shipped in and ship them back if they don't work. I think I'm going to o start with the Albion rep to get an idea and if Dante doesnt like them or it causes me pain. I'm definitely welcome to looking at country and custom or a custom Patrick saddle or something.

And that's very good. Our barn is fortunately low drama (I have NO tolerance for it and neither does my trainer) but it's more political in terms of what groups are associated with, who we work with, etc. What ties the barn has, for an analogy they're like a major corporation with built in contracts and I view myself more like a private contractor seeking the best offer lol. 

And that's the beautiful thing about having all these different saddle brands is there is something for everyone. Some people absolutely love a certain saddle/make and others hate it. Some horses love a certain saddle, others hate it. I absolutely HATE a flexible tree. Ive ridden in a few and I can feel it change which bothers me. I was also looking into equipe saddles because I love the seat design but they're foam and switching out foam pannels is crazy expensive, plus Dante is funny about foam. And I know his back and shape is going to continue to change with training and age.

Bareback is great! And you'll get there. Her canter will improve with training. Dante's canter used to feel like a washing machine on spin cycle. It had a lot of motion but as he's gotten stronger and more coordinated it's improved a lot. Ana's will too!

Exactly. At a certain point you kinda grow in different directions and need people to relate to and who get what you're involved in or been through. And people who take you for granted or kinda slap you in the face when you stick your neck out for them. Or belittle what you've done for them, with no appreciation. That always gets me :lol: I'm kinda like okay message heard. You're on your own and next time I'm not going to spend the time helping you out. Especially if you don't care that I did. Then when people do me little favors, I'm super appreciative and try to make sure they know I'm grateful.


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## Dehda01

I just found the albions to be overpriced compared to similar saddles. I didn't like how they rode personally for my conformation and my arabs, but we all come in vary different shapes and sizes and need to find what works for US! I really love my black county saddles, and Jeffries saddle. I also have a smith worthington that I like more than I expected, and is another diamond I found. I love a good English made saddle.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> You aren't a lost cause! I enjoy reading
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I don't have any idea where that mare wound up. My former boss/trainer I don't think ever kept in touch with her after she went back. She was one of my first training projects. A bunch of 11-14 year old girls had "trained" her. She knew walk, trot, and then clamp her eyes shut and bolt. I gave her a few days before I even entertained the idea of canter with her. I loved that mare. Maybe one day I can track her down. I know who owned her when she was sent to me for training. Just also knew she was for sale, which everything this woman owned was. I get that though. Would always be nice to go back and fix the mistakes!
> 
> Ugh, I know. I've seen some pretty crummy riders. I see them often in the Arab circuit where they just aren't they fun to watch because you can see they had no foundation (both horse and rider, sadly). You can pick out the good ones from a mile away though.
> 
> Truly though, who cares if you are a pretty rider as long as you are effective? My copy cat is a "pretty" rider, but she can't ride worth a dang. Every post I see her horse is in a false frame with a hollow back. Now, I know we have pictures that are that way too, but we've also been working toward total throughness, which we have been getting. But her position is lovely. She just can't get out of her horse what a trainer could.
> 
> I hope they let you bring in that rep! I'd like to think your saddle buying adventure is way shorter than mine
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'd attempt bareback on Izzie at more than a walk/trot, if I actually had walls. Her canter has A LOT of power to it now, and I wouldn't feel confident doing it out in the wide open fields that is our "arenas." Maybe one day when Nick builds me a true indoor arena
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Exactly! My best friend is my biggest cheerleader, and vice versa. We're both there to help each other every step of the way. As it should be. I don't have tolerance for people who use me, or will pretend they are my friend and talk crap about me behind my back. I like my circle small


Sorry missed this. I'm on my phone and didn't see.

Yikes. I know what that's like. Un training someone else's mess. I'm sure the kids meant well and just didn't know better but it gets hard to keep up with them as they move around and switch hands. Whoch is a shame because I think a lot of us wonder what happened to them. And definitely. We all have to learn but there are a lot of things I wish I had known with him and maybe he wouldn't have been so screwy. I think he was a good horse, I just made a lot of mistakes because I didn't know better and understand.

Oh I know! If you have an eye you can definitely see who is well trained and who isn't. A lot of people won't see what you're talking about but when you see details. You can definitely tell. And I know what you mean with the Arab circuit, a lot of artificial head sets and held together or at least that's what I've seen when I've gone to Arab shows. I always feel bad for people who have good intentions but just got caught up with a bad trainer. The bad trainers I've met have been the smoothest talkers and if you don't know anything sound really promising but don't know anything. I never blame the people if they're learning and are trying but it makes me sad they got taken in and think they're learning correctly. Or in dressage I see a lot of well it's not bad but the training could be better. Like they miss a lot of details but aren't bad trainers. Just miss very small but key details. 

I think we all have moments where they fake a frame and we just get better and better at getting them there. A lot of people don't care if it's true, as long as they win and look good. It's a shame but I think some people just don't care. 

I get that. I probably would ride him bareback in an open field either. I don't trust him. Plus you have kids and have had a major accident, totally makes sense to me. I dont have kids or anyone but Dante and my cats dependent on me, so it's different. I just ride bareback when I dont have a saddle and last time with saddle stuff, I rode bareback for 6-7 weeks so I'm pretty used to it and have an enclosed, flat area to ride in. 

Only time will tell on the saddle adventure. I hope it isn't too rough but I'd rather wait on something that will work long term than find a short term fix. Good luck on your adventure too! It's hard! And expensive! I haven't advertised my saddle yet but I need to, so I have that money.

And exactly. That's how friends should be. I'm the one who usually the worst stuff I have to say, will be to your face and the best will be behind your back. I just don't get the back talk, to me that is the behavior of cowards who are too insecure to mind their own business and are lacking something in themselves to just be supportive and happy for someone or tell them what they need to hear, even when they don't want to hear it. My bestfriend has said stuff to me that was really harsh but I appreciated her for it because she was right and saw what I couldn't. We can be harsh and real with each other which is something I strongly value but we'll also be there for each other when we need are 10min to complain, whine, cry and break down because it's overwhelming. I'm all about tough love if it's fair, objective and coming from a good place. Petty stuff or controlling, manipulative behavior just sends me over the edge.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Dehda01 said:


> I just found the albions to be overpriced compared to similar saddles. I didn't like how they rode personally for my conformation and my arabs, but we all come in vary different shapes and sizes and need to find what works for US! I really love my black county saddles, and Jeffries saddle. I also have a smith worthington that I like more than I expected, and is another diamond I found. I love a good English made saddle.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's been a while since I've ridden in one but I like the Albion's. I'll just have to see. There are SO many good saddles out there. I'm definitely open to looking at country or whatever else. I just want a starting point to get an idea. 

Im also hard to fit with my conformation. I have a curved spine, hips are full but kinda straight, long femur, short calf, a butt and then the degenerative disks in my lower back and tendonosis in my left iliopsoas tendon. I need something medium-deep. Too deep pitches me forward and puts a lot of pressure on my spine. I can tolerate a flat seat but its not supportive enough. Dante has a lot of movement and at this point and as we progress, Ill definitely need the support. I want something supportive but open, if that makes sense. 

I'm just glad we have so many options because there are so many different fits to horses and fits to people. It also gets frustrating because there are SO SO many options.


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## frlsgirl

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Im also hard to fit with my conformation. I have a curved spine, hips are full but kinda straight, long femur, short calf, a butt and then the degenerative disks in my lower back and tendonosis in my left iliopsoas tendon. I need something medium-deep. Too deep pitches me forward and puts a lot of pressure on my spine. I can tolerate a flat seat but its not supportive enough. Dante has a lot of movement and at this point and as we progress, Ill definitely need the support. I want something supportive but open, if that makes sense.
> 
> I'm just glad we have so many options because there are so many different fits to horses and fits to people. It also gets frustrating because there are SO SO many options.


I wish someone would create an online decision tree; a logical step by step method to narrow down saddle choices that work for both the rider and the horse.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I wish they had that too with a list of saddles. Maybe someday I can design the program lol. That would be a really nice and helpful program rather than the hours and hours of research looking up saddles and talking to people and emailing and calling trying to find out about the saddles.

I wish they'd say what kind of panels were on these saddles and whether or not they have a curved tree. I wish they gave more information than it's a wide. 

Also good news they have albion SLK platinum available used that has the panels and gullet change thing available. That's really fascinates and interests me, plus the SLK has a curved tree.

This just talks about the features which is part of why I'm so curious the interchangeable panels and gullet. I know Dante's going to continue to change shape but I don't want to keep buying new saddles every few months. I don't have the money for that. 

Flying Star Stables Citra, Florida : Albion Platinum

It excites me to think there might be a used option that is affordable and not too much more than what I can probably sell my saddle for. That would be awesome if it worked out that way. We'll see.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Sorry missed this. I'm on my phone and didn't see.
> 
> Yikes. I know what that's like. Un training someone else's mess. I'm sure the kids meant well and just didn't know better but it gets hard to keep up with them as they move around and switch hands. Whoch is a shame because I think a lot of us wonder what happened to them. And definitely. We all have to learn but there are a lot of things I wish I had known with him and maybe he wouldn't have been so screwy. I think he was a good horse, I just made a lot of mistakes because I didn't know better and understand.
> 
> Oh I know! If you have an eye you can definitely see who is well trained and who isn't. A lot of people won't see what you're talking about but when you see details. You can definitely tell. And I know what you mean with the Arab circuit, a lot of artificial head sets and held together or at least that's what I've seen when I've gone to Arab shows. I always feel bad for people who have good intentions but just got caught up with a bad trainer. The bad trainers I've met have been the smoothest talkers and if you don't know anything sound really promising but don't know anything. I never blame the people if they're learning and are trying but it makes me sad they got taken in and think they're learning correctly. Or in dressage I see a lot of well it's not bad but the training could be better. Like they miss a lot of details but aren't bad trainers. Just miss very small but key details.
> 
> I think we all have moments where they fake a frame and we just get better and better at getting them there. A lot of people don't care if it's true, as long as they win and look good. It's a shame but I think some people just don't care.
> 
> I get that. I probably would ride him bareback in an open field either. I don't trust him. Plus you have kids and have had a major accident, totally makes sense to me. I dont have kids or anyone but Dante and my cats dependent on me, so it's different. I just ride bareback when I dont have a saddle and last time with saddle stuff, I rode bareback for 6-7 weeks so I'm pretty used to it and have an enclosed, flat area to ride in.
> 
> Only time will tell on the saddle adventure. I hope it isn't too rough but I'd rather wait on something that will work long term than find a short term fix. Good luck on your adventure too! It's hard! And expensive! I haven't advertised my saddle yet but I need to, so I have that money.
> 
> And exactly. That's how friends should be. I'm the one who usually the worst stuff I have to say, will be to your face and the best will be behind your back. I just don't get the back talk, to me that is the behavior of cowards who are too insecure to mind their own business and are lacking something in themselves to just be supportive and happy for someone or tell them what they need to hear, even when they don't want to hear it. My bestfriend has said stuff to me that was really harsh but I appreciated her for it because she was right and saw what I couldn't. We can be harsh and real with each other which is something I strongly value but we'll also be there for each other when we need are 10min to complain, whine, cry and break down because it's overwhelming. I'm all about tough love if it's fair, objective and coming from a good place. Petty stuff or controlling, manipulative behavior just sends me over the edge.


It's ok :wink: no hard feelings!

All the untraining I did with horses growing up is exactly why I wanted a baby to bring along myself. I was DONE fixing everyone else's mistakes! And yeah, I don't think she was registered either, which makes it harder. I just hope she had a soft landing since that mare was one in a million. Out trail rode a seasoned trail horse. He REFUSED to cross a makeshift bridge that was one of those big drainage cement pipes. I pointed her across it and away she went. She had a lot of heart and try in her.

There are a LOT of false headsets. If you'd like, I can PM you with the barn that is the biggest in our area. A few of the videos make you sad. And they show a horse that is obviously off. Just overall poor horsemanship. She is definitely a smooth talker. She's a nice lady, but I don't like how she rides and trains.

Definitely. Izzie tries to fake it, but she's SO obvious when she drops her back that I'm like "get up here!" and do some work to bring it back up and rounded. She's getting better at understanding our rides are totally laid back, and not as long, if she just works with me instead of finding ways to get out of work. But yeah, a lot of people don't care at all if they are faking it as long as that ribbon is coming home with them.

That is awesome though that you can ride him bareback, and ride him well! 6-7 weeks is a long time to be without a fitting saddle. Hopefully it won't be that long this time around!

I definitely agree to wait for the best one to come along. I wouldn't want to jump right into anything either! And definitely list your saddle! There are tons of places you can list it!

Yup! We're pretty open with one another in general, so no need to say bad stuff about the other. I'm glad you have that kind of friendship too!

I would totally love a program like that! Would make things SO much easier!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> It's ok
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> no l the untraining I did with horses growing up is exactly why I wanted a baby to bring along myself. I was DONE fixing everyone else's mistakes! And yeah, I don't think she was registered either, which makes it harder. I just hope she had a soft landing since that mare was one in a million. Out trail rode a seasoned trail horse. He REFUSED to cross a makeshift bridge that was one of those big drainage cement pipes. I pointed her across it and away she went. She had a lot of heart and try in her.
> 
> There are a LOT of false headsets. If you'd like, I can PM you with the barn that is the biggest in our area. A few of the videos make you sad. And they show a horse that is obviously off. Just overall poor horsemanship. She is definitely a smooth talker. She's a nice lady, but I don't like how she rides and trains.
> 
> Definitely. Izzie tries to fake it, but she's SO obvious when she drops her back that I'm like "get up here!" and do some work to bring it back up and rounded. She's getting better at understanding our rides are totally laid back, and not as long, if she just works with me instead of finding ways to get out of work. But yeah, a lot of people don't care at all if they are faking it as long as that ribbon is coming home with them.
> 
> That is awesome though that you can ride him bareback, and ride him well! 6-7 weeks is a long time to be without a fitting saddle. Hopefully it won't be that long this time around!
> 
> I definitely agree to wait for the best one to come along. I wouldn't want to jump right into anything either! And definitely list your saddle! There are tons of places you can list it!
> 
> Yup! We're pretty open with one another in general, so no need to say bad stuff about the other. I'm glad you have that kind of friendship too!
> 
> I would totally love a program like that! Would make things SO much easier!


Trust me. I totally understand. I got tired of fixing horses and maintaining them for people too. Or having to re-train what is supposed to be a "schoolmaster" but all the basics were left out, so had to be taught. It kills me when people press a horse on and the horse just takes it and doesn't understand but does as it's asked. That's part of why I wanted something young and green too! That way the only mistakes I have to fix are my own. 

That definitely makes it hard to track but she sounds like a really good mare. What a brave girl! Glad she was open to the challenge! She sounds like a good soul.

Yikes and yeah that'd be cool. It saddens me when people do that to horses and then teach, so their student don't even know right from wrong. Some may not care but it's sad to me. I know a few dressage barns like that in my area, I can't watch because the horses are just held together and not through hardly at all. 

I understand. I think Arabs can be very crafty. Dante is the master of evasion techniques, they're usually subtle which is why I'm so thankful to my trainers because you can't just "fix"it with him, you have to be tactful and address it one at a time and systematically fix it over time because simple fixes he find another way out or blows up. He's WAY better than he used to be but it's been a unique challenge that has definitely taught me a lot and made me more aware. Ive ridden quite a few crafty, quirky ones but it's like Dante wrote the book, it was super frustrating. Im so thankful I had the help I have, I know I couldn't have done it on my own. I'm glad Izzy is better that way and getring better through training and improved understanding, it definitely helps!! it's extremely helpful! And she looks really good in the ring especially next to the jerk, jerk, jerk the rein riders. It's sad that's so common. I often wonder if they knew better if theyd want to learn differently? A lot don't care but I bet there are a lot of them that mean well.

I think I just kinda grew up riding bareback and on unbalanced horses, galloping through fields and things. I think that helped







I just feel comfortable bareback *shrugs* even when he throws a tantrum I just stay centered, wait it out and he's like well that didn't work. Though every time I've come off of him has been bareback and after he'd have a bucking, rearing fit. They were hard falls, thankfully *knock on wood* he hasn't tried that since I got the pad. I have a bareback pad, I can't canter him without it because he throws nasty tantrums from my seat bones moving at all in canter (sensitive wierdo). His canter is awful to ride, if he's not organized and through, it is so back and forth and will kinda toss you arouns but it's WAY better now. WAY better and I can use my leg and laterals to organize it, so it's not like you're getting tossed around anymore because he's more schooled and not so fussy as he used to be. But I hope I can find something relatively soon too. I'm not in a rush but I hope we can buy used and close to what I sell my saddle for *crosses fingers*

That's great! It always makes me happy when people have good friendships like that!!

---------------

I'm very sleep deprived. Worked on a computer science project last night and still struggling. Tomorrow I have a test in bio. I have all As, except for computer science which honestly I just want to pass. I've asked about tutoring but they don't know of any. And the schools tutoring sucks because they can't really help you and I need to be walked through. I wanted to scream, cry and rip my hair out last night. I hate my brain because I know it's the aspergers and ADHD that cause my learning problems with something like this. I'm SO SO SO detail oriented, analytical, and literal but focus is so hard (meds take a few weeks to work into system) and I need my logic confirmed or I just get confused and I hate being confused and frustrated because then I shut off and can't focus :/ it's frustrating. I just don't think or understand things like most people, when I was kid they said something like 2% of the population learns like I do. Im really glad I finally know what's going on because I used to just think something was really wrong with me and hated myself for it. I'm not dumb, my IQ is over 140 but growing up people just thought I was stupid because I didn't talk a lot, except to adults and just didn't understand how to interact and would get hyperfocused but only on stuff I was interested in like animals or how things worked. And aspergers wasn't a big thing back then and females were rarely looked at for it. I still have trouble with eye contact sometimes and can't do concerts at all, I'll start shaking. Just frustrating. I want to do well, I've failed and struggled a lot. Nothing new but I just want to get through and complete a degree and start my life. I waited a few years to go to college then first 2yrs as a business administration/international studies major. I had a 3.7 until I got a concussion (Sporty kicked me in the head) and bombed a math test and couldnt keep up, that killed my GPA. I should have dropped that class, there's no coming back if your brain can't work right for a few weeks. And then I joined the Marine Corps and I feel old (Ive been in a lot of pain) and just ready to have a real life and job, feeling of accomplishment and making something of myself. That's how it goes though. Not really complaining, I'm used to being disappointed or things not working out or struggling but one day I know if I keep going, it will work out. Just gotta keep faith. One day, one step at a time.


----------



## frlsgirl

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Also good news they have albion SLK platinum available used that has the panels and gullet change thing available. That's really fascinates and interests me, plus the SLK has a curved tree.
> 
> This just talks about the features which is part of why I'm so curious the interchangeable panels and gullet. I know Dante's going to continue to change shape but I don't want to keep buying new saddles every few months. I don't have the money for that.
> 
> Flying Star Stables Citra, Florida : Albion Platinum
> 
> It excites me to think there might be a used option that is affordable and not too much more than what I can probably sell my saddle for. That would be awesome if it worked out that way. We'll see.


Oh that does sound interesting; so can you adjust the gullets and panels yourself or can only a fitter do that?


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## frlsgirl

It took me 12 years to get my Bachelor's plus 3 years to get my Masters; because I change my mind a lot on what I wanted to do, and I also loose focus and could only afford one class at a time; then in 2006 I finally buckled down, get a student loan and finished what I started. In the beginning I also struggled because of comprehension issues (I'm German) so it was like learning a second language and a trade at the same time.

As I got older my English improved to the point that I now struggle with German, and I also got into a study "groove"...I would work during the day, have dinner with husband, watch TV with laptop and then after husband went to bed I retreated to our office where I would finish my homework; sometimes I would take a half day vacation from work, grab a Starbucks and go hide out at the university in a quiet study room; many soy mocha's were devoured during that time 

So don't panic yet; allow yourself time to get into some sort of rhythm. And if that fails go to Starbucks: the mecca of stressed out college students


----------



## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Trust me. I totally understand. I got tired of fixing horses and maintaining them for people too. Or having to re-train what is supposed to be a "schoolmaster" but all the basics were left out, so had to be taught. It kills me when people press a horse on and the horse just takes it and doesn't understand but does as it's asked. That's part of why I wanted something young and green too! That way the only mistakes I have to fix are my own.
> 
> That definitely makes it hard to track but she sounds like a really good mare. What a brave girl! Glad she was open to the challenge! She sounds like a good soul.
> 
> Yikes and yeah that'd be cool. It saddens me when people do that to horses and then teach, so their student don't even know right from wrong. Some may not care but it's sad to me. I know a few dressage barns like that in my area, I can't watch because the horses are just held together and not through hardly at all.
> 
> I understand. I think Arabs can be very crafty. Dante is the master of evasion techniques, they're usually subtle which is why I'm so thankful to my trainers because you can't just "fix"it with him, you have to be tactful and address it one at a time and systematically fix it over time because simple fixes he find another way out or blows up. He's WAY better than he used to be but it's been a unique challenge that has definitely taught me a lot and made me more aware. Ive ridden quite a few crafty, quirky ones but it's like Dante wrote the book, it was super frustrating. Im so thankful I had the help I have, I know I couldn't have done it on my own. I'm glad Izzy is better that way and getring better through training and improved understanding, it definitely helps!! it's extremely helpful! And she looks really good in the ring especially next to the jerk, jerk, jerk the rein riders. It's sad that's so common. I often wonder if they knew better if theyd want to learn differently? A lot don't care but I bet there are a lot of them that mean well.
> 
> I think I just kinda grew up riding bareback and on unbalanced horses, galloping through fields and things. I think that helped
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I just feel comfortable bareback *shrugs* even when he throws a tantrum I just stay centered, wait it out and he's like well that didn't work. Though every time I've come off of him has been bareback and after he'd have a bucking, rearing fit. They were hard falls, thankfully *knock on wood* he hasn't tried that since I got the pad. I have a bareback pad, I can't canter him without it because he throws nasty tantrums from my seat bones moving at all in canter (sensitive wierdo). His canter is awful to ride, if he's not organized and through, it is so back and forth and will kinda toss you arouns but it's WAY better now. WAY better and I can use my leg and laterals to organize it, so it's not like you're getting tossed around anymore because he's more schooled and not so fussy as he used to be. But I hope I can find something relatively soon too. I'm not in a rush but I hope we can buy used and close to what I sell my saddle for *crosses fingers*
> 
> That's great! It always makes me happy when people have good friendships like that!!
> 
> ---------------
> 
> I'm very sleep deprived. Worked on a computer science project last night and still struggling. Tomorrow I have a test in bio. I have all As, except for computer science which honestly I just want to pass. I've asked about tutoring but they don't know of any. And the schools tutoring sucks because they can't really help you and I need to be walked through. I wanted to scream, cry and rip my hair out last night. I hate my brain because I know it's the aspergers and ADHD that cause my learning problems with something like this. I'm SO SO SO detail oriented, analytical, and literal but focus is so hard (meds take a few weeks to work into system) and I need my logic confirmed or I just get confused and I hate being confused and frustrated because then I shut off and can't focus :/ it's frustrating. I just don't think or understand things like most people, when I was kid they said something like 2% of the population learns like I do. Im really glad I finally know what's going on because I used to just think something was really wrong with me and hated myself for it. I'm not dumb, my IQ is over 140 but growing up people just thought I was stupid because I didn't talk a lot, except to adults and just didn't understand how to interact and would get hyperfocused but only on stuff I was interested in like animals or how things worked. And aspergers wasn't a big thing back then and females were rarely looked at for it. I still have trouble with eye contact sometimes and can't do concerts at all, I'll start shaking. Just frustrating. I want to do well, I've failed and struggled a lot. Nothing new but I just want to get through and complete a degree and start my life. I waited a few years to go to college then first 2yrs as a business administration/international studies major. I had a 3.7 until I got a concussion (Sporty kicked me in the head) and bombed a math test and couldnt keep up, that killed my GPA. I should have dropped that class, there's no coming back if your brain can't work right for a few weeks. And then I joined the Marine Corps and I feel old (Ive been in a lot of pain) and just ready to have a real life and job, feeling of accomplishment and making something of myself. That's how it goes though. Not really complaining, I'm used to being disappointed or things not working out or struggling but one day I know if I keep going, it will work out. Just gotta keep faith. One day, one step at a time.


Exactly  can only be mad at yourself then!

Yeah, she was an awesome girl. Maybe when we get a farm I'll see if I can't put feelers out. I'd hate to find out she's for sale and not be able to bring her home.

I'll PM it to you in a second, right after I finish typing this up. It is sad. It's just the next generation of rein yankers really. And I truthfully don't know. I know the bay and white paint I show against around my house is trained by a trainer, and the guy just hops on and rides at shows (well, at least that is how it appears; he won't take that horse really anywhere but the ring and someone else warms it up)

Dante has definitely come a long way  he's a nice horse, and one that makes you ride well to achieve great things. I have zero doubts you'll make it to the higher levels!

I'd say that definitely helped! And he really is a sensitive boy!

I'm sorry about school :sad: I do agree with frlsgirl though. Allow yourself to get into a grove. I went to college right out of high school. I was going to do pre-pharmacy. And I HATED it. After my first year, I transferred to major in what I graduated with. 3.5 years there. Graduated college almost 7 years ago (I walked in May of 2009, but had one more semester to go), and got a got pretty quickly afterward. It'll happen! You're a strong willed woman, you'll get through it.

And get some rest!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I just really wanted to say thank you for your encouragement with the school stuff and sharing your stories. I appreciate it 

With the panels and gullet thing, an albion rep has to change it out and I'm not sure how expensive it is. I still need to talk to my trainer and talk to the albion lady (who also sold me my brow band) so I can remember her number and give it out to anyone who wants it. They're super affordable for the quality. 

The language barrier would definitely post unique challenges, especially in a stressful learning environment. Getting and finishing a degree is really difficult, it has everything to do with ability to buckle down and dig deep and keep going, even when you feel like there is no solution. But I imagine those mochas were fabulous! But thank you for sharing your story  it sounds like you had an adventure! That sounds like a plan. We have a really good coffee shop about a mile away in the downtown area. 

Exactly and then you can learn from your mistakes and make less drastic ones but I look at it as we're constantly making mistakes and it's just knowing which ones are detrimental and which ones are just doing your best with what you have.

Can never hurt to look and ask around, who knows maybe she'll come back into your life and maybe be the kids perfect pony?

I'll look at the videos as soon as I get back from school today. I just wanted to catch up. But thank you for sending me the information!

I'm proud of Dante. He's a very ornery, opinionated soul but he still tries his heart out and communicates back which I like that discussion. I don't like a horse who just says "yes" without a question. A lot of the time it's just frustrating but at the end of the day, I'd rather have a horse tell me when something upsets him than to stoicly go through an incorrect saddle fit or whatever. And yes bareback pad makes a HUGE difference, he's actually really good in it. 

Thank you for the encouragement  glad you were able to find what you wanted and graduate, so quickly! I hope this is my last go through. I'm just a little neurotic :lol: Last go I was doing well but I had this crazy idea about joining the Marines and traveling the world :lol:

Good news was I wasnt' as behind in computer science as I thought, I'm still turning in the project late but my Professor said it's better if it's complete and works properly than to just turn it in. I had most of the program correct, just struggling. I wish I hadn't stayed up as late as I did and I stayed up late last night to study for my bio test. Last test I got the highest grade in the class or so my Professor said, so I want to keep it up. 

And Dante was really good last night. His shoulder in right was by far the best it has ever been and he did a few steps half pass right. His trot after that was phenomenal, I couldn't see it but it felt wow! So bouncy, gotta get comfortable with the possibility of being bounced off. But left is now difficult for him so I mostly focused on getting a good shoulder in and got one or two half pass steps but I don't force it if he loses bend. It's more important he learn correctly than just does it. And it was like that with haunches in too. One direction was super easy and the other direction he just couldn't work out but a few steps for a while. Just baby steps. I don't drill him, just try to encourage. We also did some lengthening in canter where he really stayed up and came back when I asked. I tried to do lengthening down long side, shortening on corners so he can lengthen but still come back to me without too much effort. We also worked on halting at X. Also did leg yielding, yielding off the wall and to the wall. He did not believe he had to until I touched him with the whip because I'm riding in tennis shoes bareback (I hate boots bareback) so no spurs. Then he did better. I picked up on some small things to ride within the contact that really helped a lot. Trying to schedule some lessons but we'll see. 

We couldn't get a decent photo last night, he kept moving, so most of them were awkward so I gave up but I love his picture with him making a face with his tongue out. Seems suiting to me.


----------



## frlsgirl

He looks good; Ana won't stand still for pictures very long either; love the picture with his tongue sticking out 

The thing with halting at X; I'm sure you know this, but I made the mistake of practicing halting at X too many times, so now I can't get her forward whenever I turn down center line because she knows a halt is imminent. So my trainer has me do exercises that are the opposite of what Ana expects to happen; trot through center-line without halting; turn down quarter-line without leg yielding; or turn down quarter-line and yield towards the opposite direction, or yielding away from the wall. It's super challenging but also kind of entertaining especially when Ana says "What do you mean, yield away from the wall, such nonsense!" lol


----------



## DanteDressageNerd

frlsgirl said:


> He looks good; Ana won't stand still for pictures very long either; love the picture with his tongue sticking out
> 
> The thing with halting at X; I'm sure you know this, but I made the mistake of practicing halting at X too many times, so now I can't get her forward whenever I turn down center line because she knows a halt is imminent. So my trainer has me do exercises that are the opposite of what Ana expects to happen; trot through center-line without halting; turn down quarter-line without leg yielding; or turn down quarter-line and yield towards the opposite direction, or yielding away from the wall. It's super challenging but also kind of entertaining especially when Ana says "What do you mean, yield away from the wall, such nonsense!" lol


Thank you and I think it's funny how they can be restless or uncooperative about pictures and things too. 

Thank you. It is definitely important not to get into a routine or do the same thing every time you go down a line, etc. Trainer is definitely right but no worries there







and it is definitely difficult when they've got themselves set on a program and how it works, then you change the rules. I could see Ana being offended, like but I read the manual. Why has this changed?

I avoid drilling him, I find it gets him hot and tense so I break things into pieces, like we might practice a piece like leg yield off the wall to centerline a few times then move on to something else. But mostly I try to fit in exercises that act as a correction, like going through my outside rein. I'll turn off my outside aids and do a circle off my outside aids or he ran through my half halt, I'll halt. Or he's not engaging the outside hind leg as well, I'll leg yield off the outside and ride him there. Or he's wanting to not bend, Ill shoulder in into corners so theyre better set up/ridden. Or he's scared/spooky I might do a strong/steep shoulder in to get his attention and not fly away. Or in transitions Ill shoulder in while supporting the outside hind leg for a better transition with more jump. I want him to get the concept but not feel pressured or urgent about it. I'm starting to do more work on centerline or quaterline, like transitions, riding straight lines, halt on straight lines to improve us. I dont transition every time on a straight line, it doesn't make for as quality of transitions. Most of the time Ill ask on a circle for a transition because I want to maintain the quality and throughness which is much harder to maintain for a good transition on a straight line and also get the jump to the canter, especially with a youngster or greener horse. It's easier on a bending line but straight line for improving my awareness, to ride it better and up our expectations of Dante. I keep telling him he's not a baby anymore.

Lol just explaining


----------



## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Exactly and then you can learn from your mistakes and make less drastic ones but I look at it as we're constantly making mistakes and it's just knowing which ones are detrimental and which ones are just doing your best with what you have.
> 
> Can never hurt to look and ask around, who knows maybe she'll come back into your life and maybe be the kids perfect pony?
> 
> I'll look at the videos as soon as I get back from school today. I just wanted to catch up. But thank you for sending me the information!
> 
> I'm proud of Dante. He's a very ornery, opinionated soul but he still tries his heart out and communicates back which I like that discussion. I don't like a horse who just says "yes" without a question. A lot of the time it's just frustrating but at the end of the day, I'd rather have a horse tell me when something upsets him than to stoicly go through an incorrect saddle fit or whatever. And yes bareback pad makes a HUGE difference, he's actually really good in it.
> 
> Thank you for the encouragement  glad you were able to find what you wanted and graduate, so quickly! I hope this is my last go through. I'm just a little neurotic :lol: Last go I was doing well but I had this crazy idea about joining the Marines and traveling the world :lol:
> 
> Good news was I wasnt' as behind in computer science as I thought, I'm still turning in the project late but my Professor said it's better if it's complete and works properly than to just turn it in. I had most of the program correct, just struggling. I wish I hadn't stayed up as late as I did and I stayed up late last night to study for my bio test. Last test I got the highest grade in the class or so my Professor said, so I want to keep it up.
> 
> And Dante was really good last night. His shoulder in right was by far the best it has ever been and he did a few steps half pass right. His trot after that was phenomenal, I couldn't see it but it felt wow! So bouncy, gotta get comfortable with the possibility of being bounced off. But left is now difficult for him so I mostly focused on getting a good shoulder in and got one or two half pass steps but I don't force it if he loses bend. It's more important he learn correctly than just does it. And it was like that with haunches in too. One direction was super easy and the other direction he just couldn't work out but a few steps for a while. Just baby steps. I don't drill him, just try to encourage. We also did some lengthening in canter where he really stayed up and came back when I asked. I tried to do lengthening down long side, shortening on corners so he can lengthen but still come back to me without too much effort. We also worked on halting at X. Also did leg yielding, yielding off the wall and to the wall. He did not believe he had to until I touched him with the whip because I'm riding in tennis shoes bareback (I hate boots bareback) so no spurs. Then he did better. I picked up on some small things to ride within the contact that really helped a lot. Trying to schedule some lessons but we'll see.
> 
> We couldn't get a decent photo last night, he kept moving, so most of them were awkward so I gave up but I love his picture with him making a face with his tongue out. Seems suiting to me.


If I found her, that would be the hope :lol: I told Nick about it last night and he rolled his eyes haha!

Welcome! I'll be interested to hear your take on them lol

Communication is always a good thing! Izzie may do some things that are "yes ma'am!" but I wouldn't expect her to always be that submissive! And definitely not through saddle fit issues.

You're welcome! Though, it wasn't early haha! I'd gone through a full year with a lot of gen eds. So, essentially 4.5 years for my bachelors. Ah well, I found my place!

That is FABULOUS news! I'm happy to hear it's going better than you thought! And the highest test grade? Even better! Congrats!

Man, it sounds like you had an awesome ride! I'm glad he worked so well for you! his pictures are awesome! Love the tongue hanging out!


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## whisperbaby22

I've been thinking about your saddle problem, and it seems to me that the problem is more with modern dressage. Some jumpers have started going bareback, why not dressage in a bareback pad it that makes the horse go better. Now I'm pretty far out of the loop, and I'm just thinking here, but judging by the changes in Dante so far, he's going to need different saddles as you move through the levels, and the saddles are so expensive, (and weird looking) the to show kind of puts the poorer of us out of the ring. Seems unfair to me.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Hopefully fate will be on your side and something will work out when you're ready!

For sure. Always good to know they're letting you know when they don't understand or they're uncomfortable or unhappy about something. Sometimes they're just being dramatic but other times you're really grateful they let you know something was wrong.

4.5 years isnt too bad. At least you got through and didn't have too much of an issue and got on your way to what you wanted to do. I'm starting to get the computer science better. I went to the school's tutoring today and they helped me quite a bit, which I'm thankful for. I like it when I receive good help. I still need to finish my project because my computer was occupied when I had time to go, so I went to tutoring and tried to finish but computer wouldn't load my program, so just went to study theory. I am not as confident as I was hoping about my BIO test but as long as I get at least a B I'll be okay with life.

It was a very productive ride. Definitely not perfect but we worked thing through and developed on concepts which in my book is definitely a good ride. I'm just happy that he's happier and so much more willing. No tantrums or anything. He's still crafty and it takes a lot of lateral work to fix his ninja evasion skills but he was good.

My trainer said we could just go to the schooling show and show bareback and just act like it's totally normal. So I'm thinking about it. I want to show and I stick pretty well :lol:

Here is a bareback video from November. I want a new one. I ran him into the wall because at that time he was SUPER literal and I half halted a second too late and he was like MOM!! Are you up there? Are you paying attention? It's fun for me to watch now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxwX7KjlHAE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fD8JbKqpUY

Whisperbaby22- I really don't mind continuing to ride him bareback, especially because he is so happy and it is really expensive! It's why I spend minimally on myself (I did spoiled myself with a 2 dollar ice cream cone today) and it all goes to Dante. But you're right a lot of horses as they progress have a lot of saddle changes along the way. Definitely common in dressage because the muscles they develop and use change SO SO much throughout training. Lower level horses seem to have a more heavily muscles forehand and wither, the neck is sometimes more muscled and the upper level horses (correctly trained) have an incredibly strong croup. They have well defined and good toplines but they're not as "massive" as you'd think. It's like in some areas they develop leaner muscle but their croups and lower back it impressive. I don't know how to describe it but it's neat to see. Saddles are tough and I agree about how it can price people out because to get a correct fit and a good design, even used costs money. The other issues is Dante is a tricky shape which is partially why it's so expensive. A more standard shape it's easier to find and if someone isn't aiming for the higher levels. There are a lot of good saddles that are fine through 1st but aren't good 2nd and above. 2nd is a TOUGH level to ride really well and correctly. A good saddle makes a big difference. I will say I like having the support. Dante won't be showing 2nd this year. I looked at the tests and was like next year. When he's schooling solidly/completely 3rd then he can show 2nd.

--------------------------------------

Dante was REALLY good today. Better than yesterday. We did more leg yield and shoulder in because they're staples but he had a lot more jump and had a greater degree of throughness. We actually worked on some collected steps which Dante got mad at in the beginning but then was like oh okay that's what you want. I tapped him with the whip and connected him with the rein, leg, half halt, I don't know how to describe it other than bring them up, you don't raise your hands at all, just in your body, seat and core. It was cool how much I felt his croup lower and him bring his back up into my pelvis, very cool. I had him carry it a few extra steps and when he didn't get it. I went to walk, gave him the aids and went into trot and he got it (we've been putting the foot work in since July) then when he did get it but lost impulsion/energy I'd send him forward and try again and then when he just got it, I let him out and then let him have a walk break. Did some straight lines, transitions. Leg yield and shoulder in at canter, straight lines down quarter line at canter. Some counter canter. Didn't do anything with half pass but I have a lesson on Sunday *yay!* Our ride was 30 minutes, I was very pleased with him. He tried REALLY hard, he didn't blow up. Just was like what next? Lots of pats and treats. He had a banana. He loves them lol. But he's earned a day off. Never two days, he's naughty with two days off. 

He just cracks me up because he is SO expressive! Loves his bananas. And Bailey is his buddy.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad you're figuring out the computer science stuff! I'm glad the tutoring helped you  and I'm sure you pulled at least a B!

Lol, well, he will always be Dante! But a good ride is a good ride!

I would totally do it bareback! Why not if it's a schooling show?? I believe I once did a training level test bareback, posting and all :wink:

Yes! Another bareback video would be awesome!

And today's ride sounds amazing!! One day we will get there! I totally want to see video of it! Definitely earned a day off!

The pictures are awesome!


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## frlsgirl

Wow you are such a great bareback rider! Is that a regular pad under a bareback pad? I always ride Ana totally naked; her fur is so slippery; I would be worried that the pad would create a slip and slide situation.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thanks. I'm gradually working it out. It's just tough and I know it's going to be like this for a while but I have faith one day it will click. And truthfully there aren't a lot of options for me. I really lack the social skills for marketing or business and I NEED something that has job security and makes decent money. I can't make stuff up about people, I dont like dissing people, I don't like the whole brown nosing, blow smoke up the butt game. I'm just not political that way. I'm not manipulative, I don't get games and deceitfulness. I can recognize it a lot better than I used to and I can pick up on a lot of things pretty quickly because I'm so detail oriented and pick up on patterns really quickly. But a really good liar, I can't tell until their actions are inconsistent with their words.

I've been working most of the day on things. Been reading "Dante's Inferno" in class which makes me happy. It is one of my favorite reads :lol: I've read a lot of medieval and renaissance literature...I was obsessed with the time period. Only thing that cracks me up is sometimes when they say Dante, I think of Dante the horse going through the 9 circles of hell and looking upon these sinners and tortured souls and being approached by Medusa and the minotaur, etc :lol: it's kinda entertaining thinking about him snorting, spooking, and refusing to walk through the swamp and crossing the river of blood. It's kinda graphic but funny when thinking about Dante the horse going through the adventure vs Dante the poet. And yes that is who Dante is named after, his name before REALLY didnt suit him at all.

I actually talked to people today which is a big deal. I'm usually very quiet but I listen and pay attention to people. It was really nice, actually got to talk to someone interested and educated in the things I'm interested in. He educated me and I educated him. It was nice. We talked about computer science, computer logic/theory which I'm learning about. Electrical theory. Statistics and economics. Scientific method and applying it to a certain hot topic about being objective and not making assumptions and the controversy of scientists and professors being fired from universities who don't preach the "accepted" doctrine. It was nice. I also talked to my Professor about Computer Science earlier. I don't do small talk well, I used to freeze up and talk almost robotically with small talk because I didn't know what to say. I'm better now. Marine Corps has helped me out a LOT!

I'm really thinking about it. I'd be a little embarrassed...contrary to popular belief. I do have a sense of shame lol. I really want to though. I need to get on it though if I do.

I might be able to get one sometime. I don't know when though, as I have no one to video me. 

It was a really good ride. I've been really down for a while and it definitely filled me with joy. It was kinda sad. I was thinking earlier that I couldn't remember the last time I actually felt happy or joyful. I've felt a content form of happiness but not the joyful, optimistic, hopefulness in a long time. But that ride made me feel joy. Dante was happy and on it and I did well, we made progress. It was by no means perfect but good. And definitely you will!

Dante just cracks me up with all the faces he makes. He's a very expressive horse. Lots of personality. 

Thank you! I really enjoy riding bareback. I feel like we're very close and it's just raw communication. I just put on the regular bareback pad on with my normal dressage girth. The pad isnt slippery. I actually prefer it for bareback because I think it's more comfortable for them too. So they don't have seat bones grinding into their back.


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## Tazzie

You'll be great in that field! At least I believe so!

Hahaha, that is awesome! I am curious now, what was his name before Dante? Izzie came with a terrible name too, so I understand changing it. We actually paid to change the registered name too :lol:

Yay for talks with people! I understand what a big deal it is to do so, so yay! Sounds like some fun topics too! 

I understand that. Is it just a schooling show though? I'd still do it!

Understandable! Maybe one day!

I'm glad he could bring you joy! That's how you should feel after riding :lol: though I know that's not always the case. Always nice when you and him are on and together! Who cares if it was perfect? Is there ever such a thing as perfection truly?


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## frlsgirl

I'm glad you had a good ride; horses are like chicken soup for the soul! I spent a lot of time at the barn when my mom died last year; I don't know what I would have done without my Ana!

Dante's Inferno? I can see how that would bring up some amusing images for you


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## knightrider

Ha ha about Dante's name. My father in law is named Dante. My mother in law was my angel and I adored her. If I didn't get to talk to her every day, I'd feel like I had missed out on a bit of sunshine. But my father in law Dante? Not so much. He can be the salt of the earth, very generous and caring, but he will pinpoint your weakness and needle you with it. All my husband's family calls him on it. We love him, but we get tired of the way he can pick at us. He adored his wife, my mother in law. He'd do anything for her and not bug her. The name Dante has lots of connotations for me!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. I think I will be too, once I get it. I'm slow to learn and pick up on things but once I get it. I usually have a more thorough understanding than other people and am very thorough and proficient because I have a more complete understanding. But again that thoroughness takes longer to learn. It was the same for dressage, I just learn the long and hard way but I learn lol.

I entirely understand. I've been thinking of changing Dante's registered name because I just don't feel it suits him. A Smokin' Alybi. His barn name was Tucker and before that Chip, neither name I felt suited him at all. So I changed it to Dante.

It is just a schooling show. I'm just a little concerned too because it will be Dante's first show and he is a bit of nervous ninny :lol: I'd prefer to not give him a bad first show experience. 

Dante brings joy to my life. Spending time with him makes me happy. 

They really are chicken soup for the soul!! Definitely they're the best of us and therapy for our lives. Through thick and thin, they're just happy we're there for them and love them. And oh yes :lol: it amuses me as I'm reading the text. I need to create unique imagery to keep focused through some of the text. It can get tedious. 

knightrider- that is really cool. Dante is a good name imo but I could see where it would have a lot of unique meanings for you, since you knew a Dante so well. It sounds like he was a complicated man.


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## Tazzie

Eh, you'll get it! I have total faith!

I mean, it's not a terrible name in general, but yeah, it doesn't fit him at all. It was a bit pricey ($250) but worth it. No one could pronounce Izzie's original name, so I needed to do it. Hers was dumb. Agree though, Chip nor Tucker fit him at all. I think Dante is a perfect name for him!

True. Maybe riding bareback at his first show isn't a good idea :lol: oh well, you'll get your first show in some other time!

Good 

Were you able to see your boy today?


----------



## Tihannah

I'm so behind on all the journals, but this morning I had an appt with the chiropractor. He put me in some kind of heated, vibrating waterbed, so I used the time as I lay there to catch up on you on Dante. 

Sorry to hear about your saddle woes and not doing the show. :-( I'm sure you'll find something eventually! I LOVED watching your bareback lesson. I've watched it before, but didn't even realize that the saddle was missing! Lol. You're such a good rider, you make it look so easy! And again, I'm SOO jealous of the footing in your arena. Our footing is terrible which is why I often ride Tess in the grassy areas. Yesterday it was so deep along the rails that we just had to ride towards the insides of the arena.

I sooo feel for you with all the school work and studying. I don't miss those days, but it will all be worth it in the end. 

I also understand how you feel about pursuing other degrees that require you to be more social. My degree is in business and when I REALLY started getting heavy in my field, I started having to attend all kinds of meetings with high level executives and discuss projects or proposals. It was so difficult for me, I would have panic attacks and feel like I was going to pass out. Fortunately for me, I had a boss that understood and would sit next to me and take over when I felt like I couldn't handle it. Now that I've been doing it for 10 years, it's easier, but I still don't like to talk a lot in meetings.

Computer science is a great field, especially in today's world.


----------



## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. I've actually decided to sign up for the show. I'm sending my entry in tomorrow. I talked to my trainer and she's like you'll be find. We'll make it work lol. And I was like okay. I'm doing this. I gotta suck up wearing boots though :/

No. His registered name isn't bad but I feel like it's not the right one. Oh I'm sure it was, if you paid 250 for the name change. I hope it's not that much but we'll see when I start registering. And I think so too. Those names to me just weren't the right fit for him. But lol I just like the name Dante :lol: no idea why I chose it exactly but it seemed to fit. I like Dante's Divine Comedy and I can't remember the other names I considered but I wanted something that fit.

And yes I got to see my baby. Warm up was rough. Like he was high as a kite and everywhere at once but he was SO good. He took a LOT to ride but he was good. trot was like inside leg few steps later outside to keep him through and using himself. I don't even know. I don't even know how to describe riding him because there is just so much going on. He's tricky. Saturday who is unbroke for as little as he knows is easier to ride through and to the bit. We had a simple ride. Didn't work on anything fancy, just reinforced the basics. Leg yield from centerline to wall. Leg yield from wall to quarter line and back to the wall. Transitions. Half circle canter, trot 2 strides, canter. Halt on quarterline. Quite a few transitions to get him sitting and carrying himself up. I think he's sore from using himself so much better. He can use himself so much better without that saddle poking his back. But I think using himself that much better made him a bit sore, so I'm giving him tomorrow off. We didn't have a super long ride but an effective one. His basics are getting a lot better. We also stretched long and low posting :lol: I could and do it pretty decently (Dante was ****ed at first) but then relaxed. The thing I couldn't do was gather my reins back up and he keep stretching while posting bareback but I think I'll be able to maybe next ride? It's super hard to coordinate but I kinda feel like challenge accepted :lol:

Also had such a sweet girl, very talented 16yr old who rides a tricky horse say she had no desire to ride Dante. I wouldn't get on that one. No way she said. I don't remember how that came up. On one hand it's kinda funny, on the other it's like well Dante's not that bad. My trainer said she has no desire to ride Dante, same with my friend whose a trainer. Both were like you can keep all that fun to yourself. They like quirky but I think Dante is a one person kind of horse and he constantly tests you. Like today he was just constantly checking and testing, I don't even know what all I did to ride him but he was good. It's just on those days I remember why he's a professional's ride.

Tina- the chiropractor's bed sounds amazing!! Sounds very relaxing!

Thank you  I grew up riding bareback and I just enjoy it. I like the closeness. And the footing is really good. I like it a lot. Only problem is the horse's get so used to it that's it's hard for them to adjust on the terrible footing at some of the show arenas.

I hope it will be :lol: I just find it overwhelming at times. Racking my brains to understand it.

I could entirely see that. Meetings aren't easy, especially with that kind of pressure from being around high power executives and people who are in high positions. That's high pressure!! I know in the Marines I had to brief for up to an hr or gives briefs/presentation to the CO/XO. Public speaking is really hard, especially when you're presenting to people who can fire you. I get the anxiety. I used to panic before briefs too! It's tough! But fortunately you had a good boss to help you out. It helps a lot to just do it and embrace the suck :lol: but I agree. I really dont enjoy speaking either. I'm honestly INCREDIBLY thankful for my experiences in the marines. When I speak professionally I have a pretty strong presence and authoritative voice because I'm used to those leadership roles or being a female marine and having to be noticed/taken seriously and respected.

For sure. That is exactly why I'm going into it. It's the way of the future and good to know it because of job security and ability to make money.


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## Tazzie

Yay! That'll be awesome, and I'm sure you'll have a great time!

Yeah, Izzie's former name was OLA Shaharazaud, Shahara for a barn name. I'm guessing it was a purposely misspelled version of the 1001 Nights of Shahrazad (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scheherazade). I just looked, and it is $250 for members, $290 for nonmembers. Totally worth it since the name was awful. I like what you picked though!

Sounds like an interesting ride at least! Sorry he's sore, but I'm glad he can use himself way better!

Ah well, he's your boy. At least he has you to take care of him.

He's looking great!


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## whisperbaby22

I'm glad you are going to the show. Sometimes you just need to "do it."


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## knightrider

Boy, those 3 pictures of Dante are AWESOME. He is SO beautiful!!!!!


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## Skyseternalangel

He's looking amazing!!!

So happy you went ahead and entered the show! Way to go!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

That's pretty pricey for a name change! But I TOTALLY understand why you changed Izzy's name. The one she has now is WAY better. I agree her name was terrible!

I'm sorry he's sore too but it makes sense that he would be since he can use himself better and is that much more able to use himself. It'll get better as he adjusts. Just need to make sure I get a saddle that he's really happy with, even if that means custom. I want him happy. 

Exactly. I worry about him but as it is. It doesn't matter how other people feel about him because they're not riding him or own him. He's just a pain in the butt across the board. All I'll say is he's honestly a one person kind of horse. He loves nose kisses though. I gave him a massage yesterday and while I was massaging his back he brought his head around, extended his nose to my face for nose kisses and just kept his nose there for me to kiss his nose :lol: it was pretty cute. Then he was pretty cuddly. He's a jerk to most people though :/ I don't get it. The girl that works at the barn was like the only one that horse likes is you. She's a really nice girl and a fair/good handler, I don't get why Dante's such a butt to her and the other people who work at the barn. They're really nice, competent people and I know they've never been mean to him but will put him in line. We agree he'll probably always be a butt. But I love him and he's good for me and while he's a jerk, he's not a mean horse by any means. He's just very smart with a strong sense of self preservation and very sensitive. 

Did some in hand work before I rode Friday night and that was interesting. He's a special cookie but I love him.
-----------

Yesterday was kinda exhausting. My new ADHD meds are wearing me down. I feel mentally slow and groggy all the time. But yesterday was rough. A friend of mine is having trouble. I'm not going to say a lot on that but I was really scared. I haven't been that scared in a long time. I stayed up late for that and got calls at 3 and 4am. Just prayers for her. You can't make people admit to themselves or tell them, just be a calming voice and reassure them of their worries. Dont council, listen. She's a beautiful, very kind, warm person and it breaks my heart. It's not her fault but we're trying to get her help in a non threatening way.

But on a the bright side of things. Thank you. Dante thinks he's a pretty boy too :lol: he's a nervous horse but he's a little full of himself too.

Dante is doing pretty well. He's much happier bareback. He's developing much leaner muscle. I'm not 100% sure why that is but I notice in a lot of my trainer's horses (the ones that came back from FL) they develop lean muscle as well. Even the PSG-I1 horse is well muscled/conditioned but he doesn't look like a body builder if that makes sense. 

And thank you so much for the encouragement. I'm excited about the show. Several people asked me if I was insane because I'm doing it bareback. They know Dante, they've seen how he is and think I've lost it. But no I'm perfectly rational and aware. I have a good bareback seat and can stay with him and reassure him. He's not bad to haul. My trainer said I should be fine. Plus it's a schooling show and he needs to get out. We're only doing one day for his first show. We're doing first 1 and 2.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Well I had my lesson tonight. We kept it simple but I have 2 short videos. They're not spectacular but better than nothing.

First one Dante threw a pretty good temper tantrum towards the end but beginning he's just humping up his back and telling me to F off. He's having a tude which is Dante. I will say I wasn't totally sure I was going to stay on, so I think I automatically went into eventer/instinctive mode and was like woah. It did get my blood up but we picked right back up and got the 2nd video. My trainer said to keep legging, so he doesn't learn that behavior is accepted and get him out. That's the thing that sucks about bareback. I wanted to stay on. If he thinks he can get me off his back that easily, that'd be bad. But that kind of stuff is why no one wants to ride him. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBU0ptHQb8o

Not our best but better than earlier. We actually got some good work out of him. My trainer doesn't like to train and video at the same time, so we're not showing much but they give me a better idea of what I need to be thinking about and maybe a better way to approach him. He's not a horse you can get on and be like be more forward, bend more, half halt, half halt and he's going well. He's very tricky and the biggest thing is just keeping him willing. Things that "should" work, do not work with him. He's an all tact ride which is part of why it gets pretty frustrating sometimes. I needed to supple the reins more and add more leg but I think that would have provoked another outburst. When he's being compliant and listening we try to tell him he's good and keep him happy. So it's do you want him going but alright or better but blowing a fuse? 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsquCBZpyKo

But I've decided to contact the animal psychic and give it a go to try to figure out what's going on with him. He's being ridden bareback. We're very fair to him. Literally tonight we asked for nothing difficult. The most difficult thing he had to do was shoulder in on a circle into traverse or haunches in. He's a special cookie. He also had clean back x rays done in September.

We did joke that at least we know he'll have changes someday. We have not done anything with changes. We've done some simple changes and counter canter but nothing towards flying changes. I've never asked for a change with him.


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## Wallaby

Have you ever run the 5-panel on him? Or do you know what his mom's [she was the QH, right?] 5-panel status was?

If he's never had a 5-panel done, I might be inclined to do it - just to be sure. 

I talk about this all the time and it probably gets super annoying [I'm annoyed at myself with my single-mindedness! haha], but a horse doesn't have to be crazy stiff, or actually tie-up, to have something like PSSM or MH. 
Or, in terms of things that wouldn't show up on the 5-panel, PSSM2 runs heavily in QHs as well and horses tend to stay asymptomatic until they're between 7 and 12, then BOOM.

If you'd like, post/PM me his pedigree and I can ask the lady I know about his chances for PSSM1 or 2. This lady has been tracking PSSM for years and knows just who the "danger ancestors" might be. 

Ok, that's all. :lol:
I hope you get whatever's bothering Dante figured out! <3


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## DanteDressageNerd

It's possible. I honestly don't know his mom's lineage. They think she's a full qh but they don't have papers on her. So they call her a grade with blank on his papers. He's registered with AHA but Mom's linage is unknown. I wish I knew but I don't. His mom was born when AQHA wasn't accepting perlinos to register.

I'd definitely be open to a panel to try to weed out another possibility, it's possible. I've had him tested for lymes, EPM (which we treated for) even though he tested low positive, back x rays clean. He's had a full exam to try to see if anything was physically wrong and so we did estrone (a steroid) for a few weeks to help build the muscles around his stifles (he was still growing so they were sticky). I massage him once a week, stretch him after every ride, all 4 legs, tail, and carrots stretches. 

But thank you for the suggestion and offer to help, unfortunately I have nothing on his mom's lineage. I think when you have experience with something, you tend to make it a suggestion because it's not something people normally think about. 

He's never really stiff or tied up but you never know.


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## Rainaisabelle

Sorry just catching up!

I love Dante he's so gorgeous !


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## Skyseternalangel

Well ridden, you're so agile even bareback.


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## Wallaby

DanteDressageNerd said:


> It's possible. I honestly don't know his mom's lineage. They think she's a full qh but they don't have papers on her. So they call her a grade with blank on his papers. He's registered with AHA but Mom's linage is unknown. I wish I knew but I don't. His mom was born when AQHA wasn't accepting perlinos to register.
> 
> I'd definitely be open to a panel to try to weed out another possibility, it's possible. I've had him tested for lymes, EPM (which we treated for) even though he tested low positive, back x rays clean. He's had a full exam to try to see if anything was physically wrong and so we did estrone (a steroid) for a few weeks to help build the muscles around his stifles (he was still growing so they were sticky). I massage him once a week, stretch him after every ride, all 4 legs, tail, and carrots stretches.
> 
> But thank you for the suggestion and offer to help, unfortunately I have nothing on his mom's lineage. I think when you have experience with something, you tend to make it a suggestion because it's not something people normally think about.
> 
> He's never really stiff or tied up but you never know.


Oh! Wow, that makes me extra want to see his 5-panel [or at least do the PSSM1, HYPP, and MH tests] since his mom is essentially a total unknown. You never know what she could have been 'hiding' genetically. 

Here's a link to Animal Genetics [the fastest lab for these tests], the full panel is $95 - each individual test is basically $35-$40 so the 5 together is kind of a discount.. :/
https://www.animalgenetics.us/Equine/Genetic_Disease/Index.asp

Hopefully he'll come up n/n for everything, in which case you'll know what you don't need to worry about!  
And if he does come up for positive for something, all those genetic diseases are pretty treatable [except GBED and HERDA, but he'd be dead of GBED by now and you'd know if he had HERDA!] and, with treatment, shouldn't effect his longevity or ability to work at a high level.  
Worst case scenario, if he does have something, you'll have caught it early before it causes permanent damage!

Hugs and love to you two! :loveshower:


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## Tazzie

Yeah, I couldn't start showing with that name :lol: I just couldn't do it. We did one mediocre unrated show when she was a yearling, and they couldn't pronounce it like I thought it should be. The new one was worth the $250 price :lol:

Hopefully he will be happy SOON!

He is definitely your boy. Shame he isn't friendly toward at least the nice barn help, but such is life.

What kind of in hand work?

Sorry about the meds and your friend :sad: prayers for sure!

Naw, you haven't lost it. Just braver than I am right now :lol: maybe one day I'll do that again!

Naughty Dante! At least you worked through it well.

You'll have to let us know what the animal psychic says. I'm going to be extremely curious!


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## frlsgirl

It's so hard to tell if it's just his personality or if there is something else going on; I do see some great bareback riding though  

I do like how balanced his canter is when he's not bucking, anyway. He may just be bucking because he's trying to stay balanced and it's just hard for him.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Unfortunately I'm on my phone ATM so I'll respond properly after my last class.

I'm interested in doing the 5 panel to see if that offers any ideas. I know there is a horse at my barn with metabolic issues, so he's on a special diet. Though he's an imported wesphalian. I think Dante's mom is a stock type qh. She looks like a full qh but one you'd see working cows, not in HUS or Western pleasure or halter. His full brother does Western pleasure.

Dante has a very distinct personality. Even on the ground he's a jerk. Like handling in hand like in the bridle, doing a WB inspection. You have to handle him like a stud because he'll try to bite you or WAY over reacts if you don't check him. He's not riled up either, we emphasize relaxation and listening. We do turns on the forehand, turns on the haunches leg yield and shoulder in like that but he has a melt down if you turn your body too much. Like will throw himself backwards. He has a strong sense of self preservation. I've been a stallion handler, I've worked with newborn babies and onto breaking. He gets better but you cannot get after him, I did it once and it took a long time before he was less neurotic. It's not to say he isn't disciplined or corrected but you have to be tactful about it or it makes him worse.

With him acting up, I think he was well balanced (could have been better) but humping his back up and having an I don't want to moment, he didn't want to bring his inside hind under or go forward so he might have been a little sore but I massaged him after and his back was fine, croup was a little sore but in my eyes not an excuse. I think he was testing his boundaries and trying to see if he could have his way because after that he was much more ridable and less threatening. He's always testing. That's his personality and part of why we say he's a professionals ride. Some days you just aren't going to get super work but you can still be productive. I couldn't ask for an extra degree of bend or really snap his hind leg under him because he'd have a hissy fit, so I thought after that outburst we'll back off a little and not ask for that degree but have him at least obedient and willing.

I know Carl Hester and Charlotte Dujardin who are obviously a million times better riders than me but they have troubles with horses too. Especially younger ones. Some horses are tricky and you have to accept what you get some days because sometimes you're just not going to get awesome work, even if you're riding well. So you get the best of what you can get and call it a day and don't take it personally. When I did a clinic with Devon Kane, an international GP rider who does a lot of young horses and trained her GP horse said he was a tricky youngster. She said she could tell just watching him he was complicated and tricky but was impressed by how tactfully I rode him. We've had good training but there is either something going on we haven't worked out yet or it is who he is. He's definitely opinionated with attitude. My trainer thinks it's the only thing that holds him back. He's not stoic at all. I love him and he can be sweet and he can be really awesome but he also has an F you button of I don't want to and I don't care if you get hurt.he's kicked me 3 times, quick, dirty and uncalled for.

I love him dearly but he's frustrating.


----------



## whisperbaby22

Have you ever tried riding on the wire?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Okay I really shouldn't be on because I have a TON of HW and studying to do. Not worried about the test in mathematics but the one in computer science is giving me agony :lol: I don't want to fail.

whisperbaby22- pardon my ignorance but what is riding the wire?

Thank you. I like Dante. I love him. And I grew up riding bareback and have done quite a lot of bareback. Ridden quite a few tricky horses and been spun out on and I had quite a few naughty or tricky rides, you kinda get used to dealing with it. 

-----------

I'm really interested in learning more about his genetics and seeing if that may yield some answers. I hope they're clean but if they're not, at least we can try to make things better for him and cross off some more possibilities from our list. Thank you for the suggestion and sending me that link. I started reading that this morning. Started balling my eyes out learning about lavender foal syndrome and other things :lol:

-------
No it was a good choice to spend the 250 for a name change

No he can be a real jerk to most people like ears pinned, threatens. He hit one of the guys over the head with his head and I don't know why. I've known him for quite a while. Nice guy. He's not the worst horse at the barn or anything. He's usually not naughty, they just know he has that in him and are mindful. 

And thank you. I think she's doing better but I really hope she gets the proper care and treatment she needs and doesn't brush it off. She doesn't think anything is wrong. And thanks lol. I think it's getting better, the depression is lessening which is good and my brain is starting to feel less like soup. I couldn't really talk to people, I was avoiding eye contact and felt super slow. So I didn't say much. If we were talking about actual things fine but small talk was a disaster :lol: it made me realize how much effort I really have to put in to talk to people. Socializing is hard and not seeming really weird is harder. I was nicknamed robot for a while because I had to really process and take time to think about how to talk to people. It sucked.

:lol: I don't know if I'm brave or stupid at this point. I think I just really want to show because I haven't shown in 4 years and I want to get him experience. And hey even if it's terrible we can be a spectacle. 

I'm very curious as well. I still need to get on the animal psychic. I've never tried it before but I figured it's worth a shot to try to see if there is something there or we learn something.

-----
Thank you. His canter is usually a lot better than that. I don't have all the answer on that. Just frustrated. But thank you. I enjoy bareback, it's liberating. Only time I don't like it, is when they have fits because it's hard to stay with them and influence them effectively and productively.

--------
He really is my boy. He was all cuddles and kisses. He makes me feel bad for thinking he's an ***. I know he is but then I feel bad for thinking bad things about him. I saw him today but I didn't ride. I lunged and he looked stiff. I haven't seen him stiff before and that worries me. He lunged out of it and was supple and fluid but that worries me. I kept it short, sweet and effective. Then I gave him another massage and stretches to see if maybe that will help because we're supposed to have our first lesson with my trainer who just came back from Fl tomorrow. Also rode Saturday who was being a butt but we're getting better quality work from him. Angel and the girl who works at the barn were like you're sure you want to do this show bareback, it is his first and you know how he is. I'm like I know he's an ***. We're bringing a saddle along just in case. And Angel was like well as long as you know. We're making sure you dont forget...They know my taste in horses. 

It also made me sad because I went threw our old videos because I'm trying to see trends. Maybe I missed something. I can be a hard charged perfectionist :lol: I really try not to be because you can't hold yourself or others to an impossible standard. But I'm a problem solver and highly analytical, so I had to see if maybe I missed something. Haven't come up with much but I'm hoping the trainer who came back from Fl may have some ideas or suggestions.

This ride was really difficult. I can't remember but he started out and I was like there is no way I can ride him through, he wasn't cooperative at all. He was spooky and just difficult and I mentally didn't feel like I was in my head enough or focused enough to ride him. He takes a lot. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1J2y36Rxnqs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6Ohj4gSlic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq8-9Wz7lNs

Rough start on both of these about 1.30 it gets better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79NxAE7jUrc

https://youtu.be/c5c4oYweHis

I don't know I just look at things when I get worried. Honestly pretty stressed out :lol: 

And I asked about getting the albion lady out to the barn and that's fine, so I need to get that arranged sometime too.


----------



## Rainaisabelle

I love watching you guys ride even when he's playing up its so pretty !


----------



## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> No it was a good choice to spend the 250 for a name change
> 
> No he can be a real jerk to most people like ears pinned, threatens. He hit one of the guys over the head with his head and I don't know why. I've known him for quite a while. Nice guy. He's not the worst horse at the barn or anything. He's usually not naughty, they just know he has that in him and are mindful.
> 
> And thank you. I think she's doing better but I really hope she gets the proper care and treatment she needs and doesn't brush it off. She doesn't think anything is wrong. And thanks lol. I think it's getting better, the depression is lessening which is good and my brain is starting to feel less like soup. I couldn't really talk to people, I was avoiding eye contact and felt super slow. So I didn't say much. If we were talking about actual things fine but small talk was a disaster :lol: it made me realize how much effort I really have to put in to talk to people. Socializing is hard and not seeming really weird is harder. I was nicknamed robot for a while because I had to really process and take time to think about how to talk to people. It sucked.
> 
> :lol: I don't know if I'm brave or stupid at this point. I think I just really want to show because I haven't shown in 4 years and I want to get him experience. And hey even if it's terrible we can be a spectacle.
> 
> I'm very curious as well. I still need to get on the animal psychic. I've never tried it before but I figured it's worth a shot to try to see if there is something there or we learn something.


That's good they just know to be mindful with him!

I'm glad she's doing better, but I agree. Sometimes professional help is needed. I'm glad you're feeling a little better too! Heck, small talk can be tough for me too, unless it's Nick or my best friends :lol:

I'd never call you stupid :tongue: I get the excitement to show. I'm glad you're bringing a saddle along just in case, but I'm sure you'll be great!

I'm sure you'll find one when you have time (AFTER your test!!) Good luck with your homework and tests though!

Eh, you can call him an *** but still love him. I call Izzie names sometimes too when she's being moody :lol: doesn't mean I love her less!

That's not good about him being stiff :sad: was he able to have turnout? I'm glad he at least lunged out of it.

I do the same thing when things aren't going right. I critique and try to find the cause of it. I think that may be human nature :lol:


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## frlsgirl

This is why I film my rides; so that I can go through the footage and look for clues; and compare clips because sometimes what I feel under saddle is not what I see in the video or vise versa.

I know what you mean about feeling bad when you call him names and then he's all nice to you and that makes you feel guilty; Ana does the same thing, she gets all ****y with me sometimes and then if that doesn't work, she pulls the "look at me I'm so sweet" card on me - they know exactly what strings to pull to get to us


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. He's a good man.

Oh they're very mindful of him because he's not a mean horse but he can do some mean things like kicking or hitting people with his head. 

He's definitely an ***. I just feel bad because he really loves me, he doesn't do it to cozy up but because he's like that's my mom. He nickers to me when I come to the barn or if I've left him for a few minutes. Not everytime but often enough. He usually stays calmer with me, he trusts me. We're a good team. I don't know I try to be realistic about what he is but I feel bad because at the same time he sees me as safety or mom and misses me when I don't see him. He's very affectionate and then he gets upset. He's the kind that would never apologize for causing pain, he'd just be like well you shouldn't have been in my way. But I can see Ana pulling the mommy but I love you so much, aren't I wonderful game :lol: they definitely have our numbers.

I don't have a ton of time to be on. I really need to be studying but I was getting a point of anger and frustration I try to avoid because I hate being that angry. Computer science is frustrating and I don't like not getting things :lol: math I kinda just pick up on, literature I pick up on, economics took some work but it made sense like there were restricted enough parameters that it didn't feel infinite but coding and programming and understanding that code is like way too many possibilities and doesn't even really do math logic, it's like a different language or branch of logic I can't explain but grrr....I'll be happy if I get a C :/

I rode Dante yesterday, was supposed to have a lesson. Rushed back from school to get ready. He takes forever to get ready. And the lesson was canceled because the dentist came in from the air port. Dante was good yesterday. We tried to run through test 1 but someone was taking a lesson and going through their test so we broke it up into parts and did a impromptu run through lol. Dante was good. I was very proud of him. No bucking or hissy fits. I would like to ride him in a saddle again soon though. I feel like I can get more from him and I think it's more comfortable for him too. I have a bony butt and he's very sensitive, the pad helps but it's not the same as a saddle and I realized to get him to lift up through his shoulders to the degree I want and he's trained, I kinda have to lift myself in a way off the pad. I'm not constantly lifting up but often enough. Leg yielding from centerline both directions was good, transitions were good. I was able to post bareback long and low and gather him back up with him staying through which was pretty cool. Lengthenings and coming back in a short window of time were pretty seamless. I chose tests I knew we'd be ready for. I'm just nervous or having 2nd thoughts IDK.

I have a lesson with Pam tomorrow and we're scheduling back to lessons twice a week with her. I'm not sure I can set it up to train with both trainers or not :/ but Pam's a good fit for Dante and I. She understands him really well because she's very familiar with quirky types. Dante gets along with her. He was terribly upset when she rode him last summer though lol. 

I don't know overall I just feel frustrated with my life and things going on. I'm just frustrated lol. I was thinking 4 years ago Pam had said if I had a horse going 4th level it wouldn't take much to get me going 4th level. I think about that because I've had SO many set backs and after years of it, it just gets frustrating. I've ridden at least 80-90 horses in the last 6-7yrs. Reschooled/trained, did babies, rehab, got some really quirky rides, etc. I was schooling 2nd level 9 years ago, then had to start over and I'm just ready for things to work out. I know I'm not owed, I know I'm not entitled but you can only laugh it off for so many years before it's like when will it be my turn? I'm wondering about this show and how stupid am I to ride my unpredictable young horse in a bareback pad at show grounds? Maybe my problem is I'm too ambitious and I have this strong desire to achieve and make things happen. As a rider, I'm kinda tired of being looked at as the baby rider or grunt rider. Grunt rider meaning the rider who puts in the foot work for someone else to take that horse up the levels on. I know my friend, Angel is in the same boat. I don't force things or push before my time and it's not really to show anyone up, I'm just ready to start putting the pieces together. It's really universal, not just horses. The Marine Corps didn't work out because my body fell apart, NEVER expected that. I was very athletic and hardy. Started my undergrad late because I spent 2 years working as a working student, 2 years of college for a BA, delayed with Marine stuff, didn't ride for a year half or so. Transitioned out of the Marines and now I'm starting again with at least 3yrs left because I switched from a BA in business/admin and international studies to a BS in comp science. I'm a lot older than my class mates, chronologically maybe not that much probably 7-8yrs but in life experience and things I've done. I can't relate to them hardly at all. I can relate to some of the tutors but it makes it hard to talk to anyone.The only people I relate to are my professors which honestly sucks. I'm struggling to make eye contact or talk to people anymore which scares me because I worked REALLY REALLY hard to be able to socialize, talk to people and I've retrogressed. There are benefits to aspergers and some things you REALLY have to fight to function.

I know it could be way worse. Don't get me wrong. I know I'm lucky to have what I do. I'm just frustrated and understand why Brittney Spears shaved all her hair off. I almost want to but not quite over the edge. I'd miss my long blonde hair :lol: I can be vane. I bought a dress that didn't work out. I'm impossible to fit dresses to, they're all tailored except for 2. I miss being able to go out and feel womanly and beautiful or social parties or a purposeful get together of sorts. In the Marines we had things that were fun and I liked getting dressed up.


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## Rainaisabelle

It's okay to be frustrated and angry with everything, it's pretty normal to feel that way. I know when I came back to riding after 6yrs off I thought it was going to be easy and it was like riding a bicycle, I was so wrong lol especially since I only ride school horses do buying Roy was well it was very different and at times I wanted to give up but we are finally getting somewhere.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I just wanted to say thank you  You're right. It is hard when you get back into riding and very different when you own your own. But I'm sure you wouldn't trade your experiences with Roy for anything in the world. He seems like a really good, sweet boy. Riding's a lot harder than people give you credit for. It takes a lot.

I'm trying to be a better, happier, more optimistic person. I'm a cynical realist :lol: I put a lot of pressure on myself. I'm a perfectionist and a workaholic. I don't put that kind of pressure on others, I'm not as critical of others as I am of myself. I've gotten better but I see myself as a project. I'm trying to train my brain, I watch my thoughts so they don't become my perspective. One of my favorite quotes is: "watch your thoughts for they become words, watch your words for they become actions, watch your actions for they become habits, watch your habits for they become your character and watch your character for that will become your destiny." And I think it's true. Every small thought, small action and small words build up to something and every day, every moment we're making a choice about who it is we want to be and who we are going to become. I just see it as no one is going to do it for me, no one is going to help me or make it happen, so I have to work it out and pave my way. Take the risks and get out there.

I think part of it is I feel pretty isolated and detached. I don't have anyone I feel really close to anymore, except my sister. But my one friend who I'm very close to had a mental break (possible borderline or schizotype personality) and I don't want to put any kind of stress on her, so when she wants to talk. I listen. Others are my friends but not the close ones. I don't really hear from the marines so much anymore. I still talk to and hear from people but not as much.

I just want other people to be happy. I used to be something of a comedian, I didn't get on stage or anything but I'd entertain people. I'm secretly hilarious. Or go to a target or the MCX (marine exchange) and I'd see someone having a bad day and I don't even know the things I'd say but I'd make them laugh because I wanted them to be happy and maybe they hate their job and look miserable but if you can make them smile and laugh, you can make their day.

I just get frustrated day in, day out because I feel like I've put in all this foot work and I've barely scraped the surface of where I want to go and what I want to be.

Dante pictures because he's expressive and quite the character. I forgot to add I gave him another full body massage yesterday and will be after every ride, until after the show. I've had a few people say they wish they were my horse and so I gave them a short demo of a back massage and they were like omg you're good. Wow. And I was like been doing it for a while :lol: but Dante's my buddy. I can be an ***, he can be an ***. I guess we fit each other.


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## whisperbaby22

Oh I think we all have our demons. I am old, and I think at this point I have just decided to go with what I am, and not stress to much about it. Being closer to death puts a lot of things in perspective.


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## Skyseternalangel

Sending you hugs!!! We need to meet up one of these days when I am not dirt poor! Then I can hug you in person and we can meet the mane men in our lives haha


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## Rainaisabelle

DanteDressageNerd said:


> I just wanted to say thank you
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You're right. It is hard when you get back into riding and very different when you own your own. But I'm sure you wouldn't trade your experiences with Roy for anything in the world. He seems like a really good, sweet boy. Riding's a lot harder than people give you credit for. It takes a lot.
> 
> I'm trying to be a better, happier, more optimistic person. I'm a cynical realist
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I put a lot of pressure on myself. I'm a perfectionist and a workaholic. I don't put that kind of pressure on others, I'm not as critical of others as I am of myself. I've gotten better but I see myself as a project. I'm trying to train my brain, I watch my thoughts so they don't become my perspective. One of my favorite quotes is: "watch your thoughts for they become words, watch your words for they become actions, watch your actions for they become habits, watch your habits for they become your character and watch your character for that will become your destiny." And I think it's true. Every small thought, small action and small words build up to something and every day, every moment we're making a choice about who it is we want to be and who we are going to become. I just see it as no one is going to do it for me, no one is going to help me or make it happen, so I have to work it out and pave my way. Take the risks and get out there.
> 
> I think part of it is I feel pretty isolated and detached. I don't have anyone I feel really close to anymore, except my sister. But my one friend who I'm very close to had a mental break (possible borderline or schizotype personality) and I don't want to put any kind of stress on her, so when she wants to talk. I listen. Others are my friends but not the close ones. I don't really hear from the marines so much anymore. I still talk to and hear from people but not as much.
> 
> I just want other people to be happy. I used to be something of a comedian, I didn't get on stage or anything but I'd entertain people. I'm secretly hilarious. Or go to a target or the MCX (marine exchange) and I'd see someone having a bad day and I don't even know the things I'd say but I'd make them laugh because I wanted them to be happy and maybe they hate their job and look miserable but if you can make them smile and laugh, you can make their day.
> 
> I just get frustrated day in, day out because I feel like I've put in all this foot work and I've barely scraped the surface of where I want to go and what I want to be.
> 
> Dante pictures because he's expressive and quite the character. I forgot to add I gave him another full body massage yesterday and will be after every ride, until after the show. I've had a few people say they wish they were my horse and so I gave them a short demo of a back massage and they were like omg you're good. Wow. And I was like been doing it for a while
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> but Dante's my buddy. I can be an ***, he can be an ***. I guess we fit each other.



I wouldn't trade Roy for the world at all, I know the feelings of isolation and not having anyone because I am in that exact situation. I do have a partner but it's not the same you know ?


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## Skyseternalangel

Rainaisabelle said:


> I wouldn't trade Roy for the world at all, I know the feelings of isolation and not having anyone because I am in that exact situation. I do have a partner but it's not the same you know ?


I feel both of y'all. I have Lucas and Sky... and that is it. Very lonely life if I think about it too much


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## Rainaisabelle

Well if you ever want to vacation in Australia you guys have a bed


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## Tazzie

Well, yeah, that's what I meant about being mindful :lol: he's capable of naughty moments, not that he is a jerk all the time.

It's not bad he has your number unless he uses it against you :lol: I don't count the snuggling :lol:

I really hope you start understanding it better :sad: I hate to see you struggle with it. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before it all clicks. But I totally understand why you took a break!

Any idea when the Albion rep will be able to make it out there? I sure hope soon. That's good he lengthens and comes back easily!

Honestly, if you have to pick one, pick Pam. I'd pick the one that is the better fit for you and your horse.

I get how you feel 1000000%. I have never gotten to show above First Level. Every year I had a new horse that needed reschooling. It's frustrating to feel like you are getting somewhere only to start right back at square one. Or start riding a horse that has SOO much ability, but it's sold out from under you. Then when you do get a horse, it's a baby and you start way back at square one again. But you hope it's for the final time. You really hope it's the horse that will take you the distance. But then you have set backs. You have a near death injury, your saddle doesn't fit right. And you get sullen, you get frustrated, and you wonder if it will ever happen. Well, let me just say, it WILL happen. YOU are dedicated. YOU are working toward it. And YOU will make it. I know this. You and Dante are a team. Yes, he's quirky. Yes, others may never want to ride him. But he is 100% your baby. And together, YOU will reach that elusive FEI levels. I have full faith. It won't be because your owed, or your due to reach it. But it'll be because you worked hard, through blood, sweat and tears. YOU did it. You have a great trainer helping you. It will happen. But trust me, I understand the need for the pity party. The feeling down about it because of setbacks. But you'll spring forward from this. I know you will.

And man, I WISH we were closer. I can be a bit awkward and shy in person. That is, until you get to know me. Maybe one day when Izzie and I start traveling to some insane shows for the heck of it because the husband is painfully bored with our current venues :lol:


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## frlsgirl

A lot of people in need of hugs today, so here is one for you as well.

I can relate; I was supposed to stay in Germany and become a pro Dressage trainer, but I got married, moved to the States, worked, went to college, and then all of the sudden in 2011 I was like, "What the hell am I doing?!?"

Since my life is already in full motion, I have to squeeze horses and riding into my other daily duties and activities. I wonder where I would be if I had stayed in Germany and followed the "Bereiter" path?

Then my mom died in 2014 and that really gave me the kick in the pants I needed to live life to the fullest; I try to say yes more than no; because you don't know if you get to live another day.

Anyway, I'm a lot older than you, and I'm planning on getting all the way to the USDF gold medal by 2040; I'm currently showing Intro level at schooling shows so I got a LONG way to go from Intro to GP; I don't know if Ana will make it to GP so I might have to get another horse, and who has money for that.

Anyway, don't let anyone or anything deter you from your path; you have lots of time to get to where you want to go. All the time you spent training and re-training horses will come in handy as you move up the levels; it's a stepping stone to where you want to go. Every time you go to the gym, you are preparing or maintaining your body so that you can continue to work on your riding goals; a degree will be a stepping stone towards financial security so that you can afford all the Dressage related expenses.

But yeah, everything is gonna be all right!


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## tinyliny

DanteDressageNerd said:


> T
> I know it could be way worse. Don't get me wrong. I know I'm lucky to have what I do. I'*m just frustrated and understand why Brittney Spears shaved all her hair off. *I almost want to but not quite over the edge. I'd miss my long blonde hair :lol: I can be vane. I bought a dress that didn't work out. I'm impossible to fit dresses to, they're all tailored except for 2. I miss being able to go out and feel womanly and beautiful or social parties or a purposeful get together of sorts. In the Marines we had things that were fun and I liked getting dressed up.



I'd always wanted to do that, so last year, about this time, I did! in the mirror, with electirc clippers, as short as I could without actually shaving. 
everyone hated it, and it didn't make me feel any better.. . . but at least I did it!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I ran out of time yesterday to post anything and this morning I'm still short on time. But I just wanted to say thank you, I'm a little over whelmed by the warm fuzzies. Thank you all very much. That's incredibly kind. I'm honestly really grateful. In my head I feel like with the Grinch how his heart was 3 size too small and suddenly it grew 3 sizes :lol: I love Dr. Seuss but I don't know how to express gratitude otherwise lol.

I'll respond properly when I have time but for right now I'll just say I had a late lesson on Dante last night. An incredibly kind lady let me have her lesson because I was going to show. She's a really wonderful person. We've always had good talks. She owns cob/paint cross who she's ridden through 4th-PSG with. She almost has her silver medal. 

lol I havent really ridden a test in probably 4 years and it showed. I made all kinds of stupid mistakes. I was so disorganized, poor Dante but I'm really proud of him because while I made mistakes, he didn't over react like he normally would of. He usually leg yields fine both directions, they both were just lousy, 1st one more lousy because then I went too far trying to compensate for the poor set up on my part, crookedness and him feeling like he was entirely ignoring my leg, should have straightened him and half halted more even if we missed accuracy. Overall I rode it terribly.

Only video that uploaded. I got in my head. I've gotten better but I let my anxiety get to me but I'm just SUPER proud Dante didn't have fit or get upset with me about it. Granted I think he knew he was leaning into my leg which I didn't appreciate. But he reminded me yesterday of how baby he really is. Towards the end he had a temper tantrum and kicked the wall (not on video) but he was like I'm done. I've had enough. I also need to remind myself it was out first run through, through the tests. I haven't ridden a test in years. I just get frustrated because I planned it so poorly when I KNOW better. I was too concentrated on where I was going and rode Dante poorly. At least he didn't get too upset about that. I still want a saddle, the hard thing is getting him to really lift through his whole back bareback because where I'm siting I have to lift myself up off his back to get him to lift through there and unfortunately that's pretty hard to do bareback.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZ4KP1tCE0Y

Funny moment was when Pam was like Dante you're not a baby horse anymore. At some point you need to wear your big boy pants and Dante didn't understand but he had an expression like what? I'm perfectly wonderful, you guys need to get on my program. He's a prima Dante when he doesn't get his way.

Oh well albion lady comes out April 24th, so hopefully I can look into getting a saddle and try to get mine sold.


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## Tazzie

You are welcome  I know we all get down on ourselves from time to time. I think it's just part of human nature.

Yay for a late lesson! And you'll get it, don't worry! When is the show? I'm forgetting right now :lol: trust me, we all have crappy run throughs on the tests. But I know you'll get it.

Hopefully you'll get a saddle SOON. Sounds like she'll be out fairly soon, so that's good! Hopefully she knows of one available that will work for you guys! And that's amusing what Pam said :lol: I've said that to Izzie a few times too lol


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## Zexious

April 24th is right around the corner  Chin up!


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## tinyliny

I missed which test and where you are going to ride? if it's not too much to ask.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Whisperbaby22-I wish I could calm down and be more like that. I guess that's one of the exchanges in youth, all the hustling and grind and proving worth.

Rainaisabelle- thank you. I think animals provide a special love for us that is hard to explain. I think it's pure kind of love where animals are honest and direct. They can't really lie or manipulate like a person, it's genuine love. And thank you for the offer, I guess we all know whose the friendly Australian!

Sky- yeah. We really should sometime. Especially since we live like an hr apart. And thank you for the hugs :lol: We all need hugs! Best not to think about the lonliness. It's a dismal state.

______________________________________________________________

Katie-Thank you kindly for the encouragement. And exactly. That's exactly Dante. Just be mindful he can be naughty but he's not going to go after you. 

And yes Dante LOVES snuggles. I was in his stall giving him love and I was massaging his back, he turned his head around and put his nose in my face so I'd kiss his nose and he just held his nose there for nose kisses. He loves kisses. And you can play with him, he's a little mouthy but doesn't bite *knock on wood*

I hope the break through happens soon too but my Professor said it can take 3-4 classes or 1-2 years before it finally clicks. It's just a lot and I'd rather struggle a lot in the beginning but really truly-thoroughly get it and be great at it long term. Plus I have learning problems :/

The albion rep is coming out April 24th. I'm really excited. IF we absolutely have to they do fully custom and there are SO SO many options. I'm kinda excited but determined not to get sucked into buying a new saddle but the prices aren't that bad. For the SLK ultium platinum I think it's 3800 which is a LOT of money but for a new saddle that's custom not that bad. Still planning used but to know what Dante and I like.

And exactly! Everyone needs their 10 minutes to feel down about things. It's human and normal, unless you live there then that's counter productive :lol: 

I think I will be training with just Pam. She's known me for 8yrs and we work really well together. She really helps me because we're very similar in that we're "feeling" riders. Obviously she is much better than I am though. But she gets Dante because he is very tricky to ride. He doesn't make it easy but she approaches it in a way that gets the best out of both of us, so I can ride through the trickiness. 

And thank you SO SO much for your belief in me. I think it's hard sometimes to believe in yourself when you're like what am I doing? This is ridiculous. I'm ridiculous and it just escalates and you realize you wound yourself up for nothing :lol: I wish you were closer too. It'd be nice to have a riding buddy and someone also unique to talk to 

And I think it's human nature too. I just try not to live in that dark place, I have hard time crawling out of. It's like a sink hole that takes hold. But show is this Sunday. It's a schooling show, so no pressure :lol: I hope we get a saddle soon too. 

And yeah lol. When Dante kicked the wall, she told me she was like Dante you're not just a little dramatic are you? He was so dramatic towards the end which I dont' have on tape. He was like I am DONE D-O-N-E, it was kinda funny because he was so prissy about it. Pam usually finds quirky horses amusing, that's why almost all hers are quirky too.
_____________________________________________________________

Tanja-Again thank you for the kind words and encouragement.

I can see how that happens. When I was in Germany, I saw quite a few people working on the bereiter program. It was interesting to watch. I think we all like to wonder, what if? I'm sorry about you losing your mom. I can imagine how that impacts you and how it can change your perspective about life. Funny how experiences can change us so thoroughly. But you'll reach your goals. I'm sure 

And definitely. I learned a TON training and re-training horses and do babies, then getting to ride school masters, etc. I definitely have a more thorough understanding that helps a lot. There is NO way I could ride Dante had I not had those experiences. He's been really tough to develop and in general just tricky to ride. It's not a bad thing but sometimes it's frustrating.

And I love that meme, very cute 

_________________________________________________________________

tinyliny- that takes some gumption to make such a bold mood. I'd be terrified to actually do it. I've cut off my hair a few times and wish I hadn't :lol: We're doing first level tests 1 and 2 at a local show grounds.

_______________________________________________________________

With the video. I'm a perfectionist and very detail oriented and when I put pressure on myself like I did for that run through, it screws everything up because then I missed half halts and made incredibly stupid mistakes I shouldn't have made. I was frazzled because I was confused about where I was going because I'm not as familiar with the other letters. Sometimes Karen made mistakes reading it (not her fault, she meant well and was nice enough to help) but I got frazzled when I shouldn't have let it get to me. I like to think I've grown past that.

But this is first level test 1. I still got frazzled and screwed up which was why he took the opposite lead. He knows how to pick up either lead. I honestly hate myself sometimes because I can do so much better than this and because I get in my head, I make stupid mistakes. I have to remind myself too and that is something my trainer reminded me is Dante is a hard horse to ride, he's very tricky. I was in a clinic with an international GP rider and the first thing she says after the ride is he's a really tricky, complicated young horse but I was impressed by how tactfully you rode through it. She does a lot of young horses and babies, she trained her GP horse so she knows tricky. My trainers, everyone knows how Dante is but it is what it is and it makes me better. It is hard to get his back up and through bareback. I kept being late in my preparations. And it may be an accumulation of different stressor and adjusting to ADHD meds which are messing with me, and having been sleep deprived all week *shrugs* 

Because we can leg yield from centerline to the wall either direction fairly easily. I just screwed up and got flustered because I screwed up and was flustered and made a stupid decision.

2nd video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SskgPVRg5N4

JAN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq8-9Wz7lNs
MAR
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79NxAE7jUrc


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## Rainaisabelle

I have heaps friends online who if they ever came to Australia and came to QLD I would have no issues with offering a bed for them to stay in and even taking them around.


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## Skyseternalangel

Okay girl, when are you done with your college semester? I'm done first week in may (the end of the week)

Let's make this meet happen.


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## Rainaisabelle

Pics if it does happen pls!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Rainaisebelle- that's awesome  that's extremely big hearted of you!

Sky- definitely doable. I get out I think May 12th-ish, so pretty soon. I'm excited :lol: but around the same time frame.

Good news is Dante was REALLY good on the show grounds. I was SO SO proud. He was nervous, he definitely had a few rocket moments but once he warmed up and I threw in a few transitions and got his focus he got better and better. He took the life out of me. SO many half halts, I felt like half halt, half halt, half halt, shoulder in, shoulder in, shoulder in, don't spook at that, dont run away with me, bend, focus, bend, focus, lengthen, transition, bend, don't pop your shoulder like that, no rocket launch, it's not that scary. Good boy, you're okay, you're okay. That's about how the ride felt lol. He thought the letters were going to jump up and bite. We rode in a saddle with how fumey he was, bareback made me nervous. He was good. It's not the right fit of saddle but short term is fine. But there was a lot of commotion going on and he was SO SO good. I was so impressed and proud of how good he was. My trainers were pleasantly surprised too. We were in the saddle and I was like well I forgot how bouncy he is :lol: and when he gets going really well he gets more bouncy but it feels amazing. My trainers thought it was funny, Mari was like how could you forget? Mari taught us tonight but Pam was there too. They're both really good trainers. But he was really good. Talked to the judge a little because they weren't out yet. Dante thought he was going to die because I made him stand by the stand. I still thought it was hilarious he thought the letters were horse eating monsters, he let me ride through it but he was bowing out and I was like half halt, half halt, bend you're fine and shoulder in and cutting the corners a little short to keep his attention, so he doesn't spook at the ends. I'm so proud of him. He was so good. He was scared but he let me ride him and didn't blow up or panic. He seemed really happy and relaxed in his stall. I think he's going to like showing or at least I hope so.

I'm having Marine fever. I've talked to some people I served with, several are on deployments and so I kinda went back into Marine mode. What is hard to explain to people is I didn't join because I needed a scholarship. I didn't join because I wanted to travel. I joined the military because I wanted to serve my country and I chose the Marine Corps after looking at every other branch because they stood above the rest. If you know much about the military nobody likes Marines :lol: everybody I know from other branches are like Marines just think they're better than everyone else and I'm like yeah. That's because we are :lol: and they're like you're such a marine. and I'm like I know. People don't joint the Marines just to collect a scholarship, they join for the challenge, to prove something to themselves, that they have what it takes and want to show it. The standards are that much higher, the physical requirements are higher, the pressure, and discipline is way more intense. We also have limited resources so we have to be pretty innovative to make our equipment work :lol: duck tapes solves everything!! But I was stationed on army and naval bases, so I've seen the air force and been familiarized with the army and navy. I still have my dog tags and all my uniforms. I really wasn't ready to get out. It was my dream to serve as a Marine. It meant a lot to me. I'm sad I couldn't serve longer but can't deploy when you're broken and what's the point if you don't get to go. You don't join to stay home. I just miss it. Even slaying PT where your whole body is shaking and feeling like you're going to pass out because you just ran 5 miles then did sprints up a half mile hill carrying a 45lb water jug and going up and down, up and down...haha then carrying your battle buddy and wanting to die right there :lol: sweating through everything under the hot Georia sun and intense humidity. Nostalgia maybe.

Yesterday and today have been pretty busy. Depressive feelings were pretty strong yesterday but I'm doing better. I'm really trying to manage it better and avoid certain memories and topics. I know I did nothing wrong but part of the issue is I have aspergers and don't process emotions/deception/lying well at all. I can't understand that kind of behavior or predatory nature in some people. I couldn't treat anyone like that. There are certain things I just can't process like a normal person and that's frustrating but at least I know why now. I don't understand it. I also was really upset this morning because I saw a dead cat on the road (I LOVE cats) and then I hit a squirrel. I tried not to hit him but he ran under my wheel, I was sad but at least he died quickly. Just made me sad. I know it's stupid but I was so upset lol. Like are you kidding me, what the hell. Life is precious, even for a squirrel. 

But happy note Dante got to play in the outdoor arena. You can definitely tell he has a swan neck in these but he's handsome. He was passaging and spooking and bucking in hand, so I let him loose in the arena. He seemed to need to let it out.


----------



## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie-Thank you kindly for the encouragement. And exactly. That's exactly Dante. Just be mindful he can be naughty but he's not going to go after you.
> 
> And yes Dante LOVES snuggles. I was in his stall giving him love and I was massaging his back, he turned his head around and put his nose in my face so I'd kiss his nose and he just held his nose there for nose kisses. He loves kisses. And you can play with him, he's a little mouthy but doesn't bite *knock on wood*
> 
> I hope the break through happens soon too but my Professor said it can take 3-4 classes or 1-2 years before it finally clicks. It's just a lot and I'd rather struggle a lot in the beginning but really truly-thoroughly get it and be great at it long term. Plus I have learning problems :/
> 
> The albion rep is coming out April 24th. I'm really excited. IF we absolutely have to they do fully custom and there are SO SO many options. I'm kinda excited but determined not to get sucked into buying a new saddle but the prices aren't that bad. For the SLK ultium platinum I think it's 3800 which is a LOT of money but for a new saddle that's custom not that bad. Still planning used but to know what Dante and I like.
> 
> And exactly! Everyone needs their 10 minutes to feel down about things. It's human and normal, unless you live there then that's counter productive :lol:
> 
> I think I will be training with just Pam. She's known me for 8yrs and we work really well together. She really helps me because we're very similar in that we're "feeling" riders. Obviously she is much better than I am though. But she gets Dante because he is very tricky to ride. He doesn't make it easy but she approaches it in a way that gets the best out of both of us, so I can ride through the trickiness.
> 
> And thank you SO SO much for your belief in me. I think it's hard sometimes to believe in yourself when you're like what am I doing? This is ridiculous. I'm ridiculous and it just escalates and you realize you wound yourself up for nothing :lol: I wish you were closer too. It'd be nice to have a riding buddy and someone also unique to talk to
> 
> And I think it's human nature too. I just try not to live in that dark place, I have hard time crawling out of. It's like a sink hole that takes hold. But show is this Sunday. It's a schooling show, so no pressure :lol: I hope we get a saddle soon too.
> 
> And yeah lol. When Dante kicked the wall, she told me she was like Dante you're not just a little dramatic are you? He was so dramatic towards the end which I dont' have on tape. He was like I am DONE D-O-N-E, it was kinda funny because he was so prissy about it. Pam usually finds quirky horses amusing, that's why almost all hers are quirky too.
> _______________________________________________________________
> 
> With the video. I'm a perfectionist and very detail oriented and when I put pressure on myself like I did for that run through, it screws everything up because then I missed half halts and made incredibly stupid mistakes I shouldn't have made. I was frazzled because I was confused about where I was going because I'm not as familiar with the other letters. Sometimes Karen made mistakes reading it (not her fault, she meant well and was nice enough to help) but I got frazzled when I shouldn't have let it get to me. I like to think I've grown past that.
> 
> But this is first level test 1. I still got frazzled and screwed up which was why he took the opposite lead. He knows how to pick up either lead. I honestly hate myself sometimes because I can do so much better than this and because I get in my head, I make stupid mistakes. I have to remind myself too and that is something my trainer reminded me is Dante is a hard horse to ride, he's very tricky. I was in a clinic with an international GP rider and the first thing she says after the ride is he's a really tricky, complicated young horse but I was impressed by how tactfully you rode through it. She does a lot of young horses and babies, she trained her GP horse so she knows tricky. My trainers, everyone knows how Dante is but it is what it is and it makes me better. It is hard to get his back up and through bareback. I kept being late in my preparations. And it may be an accumulation of different stressor and adjusting to ADHD meds which are messing with me, and having been sleep deprived all week *shrugs*
> 
> Because we can leg yield from centerline to the wall either direction fairly easily. I just screwed up and got flustered because I screwed up and was flustered and made a stupid decision.
> 
> 2nd video
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SskgPVRg5N4
> 
> JAN
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq8-9Wz7lNs
> MAR
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79NxAE7jUrc


I'm glad he can be so snuggly. Sure helps when you have down moments!

It'll happen. I know it will. I agree that you should know it thoroughly. Doesn't surprise me it can take so long to understand it though. I know you'll work your way through even with the learning problems.

That's awesome though! I sure hope you can figure something out with them! The 24th will be here before you know it! That isn't a terrible price for a new saddle though!

Well yeah, but I don't see you living there :lol: this is temporary. This is not how life will be forever. You'll get through it 

I'm very happy to hear you'll just stick with Pam. You seem a lot more at ease with her, at least from what I've seen. And if she rides similar to you, then I don't see why you wouldn't pick her!

You are as stubborn as I am :lol: and you have the horse that can get you there. I'm betting the more upper level movements you start working on (when appropriate!!) the happier Dante will be. Something new, something aside from the same old, same old. And a large variety of things. He has the Arab brain that needs to be challenged I bet. Not pushed way out of his comfort zone, but you can't do the same thing day in and day out. But you'll get there! And yes! Sadly I think we are a bit of a drive apart, but who knows what the future holds? I know we would have fun if/when we do meet!

Oh I know. But I think you're strong enough to say "NO! This is NOT how my life will be!" You seem strong willed enough to break out :lol:

Oh Dante :lol:

As for the test, stop beating yourself up! We all do stupid things. Just yesterday I let Izzie blow through my outside aids SOO bad the trainer said "it's a good thing that wall was there or you wouldn't have turned" :lol: You need to breathe. In and out a lot. It's your first show with Dante. You'll be bareback. You aren't expecting amazing scores. And you'll get through it. Bonus, it's only a 2 pt deduction if you go off course. It's not THAT bad. I hope it won't happen to you, but if it does, don't beat yourself up. Just chalk it up to a learning experience. And BREATHE. I'll want to hear all about it, good or bad! I'll be there in spirit for support


----------



## Tazzie

Looks like you posted when I did :lol:

Yay that he seems happy at the show grounds! And I'm glad you found a saddle that will work short term! Makes riding spooks (if they happen) much easier!

I'm sorry you had a rough day though :sad: I hope tomorrow is a much better day!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Oh definitely :lol: it reminds me why I love him so much. We have a pretty good bond. He trusts me.

Thank you. I hope so too. I think it will take me longer to learn but I'm pretty sure when I get there I'll know it more thoroughly. The learning issues suck in the academic sense because if you're not book smart (I define this as people who can remember and regurgitate information, sound like know it but don't really understand it thoroughly). Surface level knowledge. Where as I internalize which makes it harder but long term and job wise better but maybe not going to get promoted as quickly because I'm not flashy :lol: I can't bs my way through, I either know it or I dont or I'll figure it out. 

Dark place is bad. I'll leave it at that. It's a dangerous place to be, I don't like it there.

I think so too. Pam and I get each other and we are very similar types of riders. We're also pretty good friends, we're always there if we need one another. She's helped me a lot with things other than horses too. But we're very sensitive and detailed. Mari is better for bigger picture things, Pam is more into the details. It's hard to explain but they both bring good things to the table. I'm just more detail oriented and nit picky so I think Pam is probably a better fit for us. I like them both for different things.

lol I'm glad. Stubborn people need to stick around. But I think you're right about Dante. I think he does better when more is expected from him. He is hard to keep focused and no he definitely gets bored when he doesn't have a variety of things to do which is partially why I want to start jumping him. I think he'd like it and it improves canter, it's good for them. But I think we will meet up at some point, I think it would be a lot of fun  I actually drove through KY last year when I drove back from NC. 

Dante is a special cookie but I love him. I have given him the new nickname of Princess Buttercup. The people I've told it to enjoyed it and were like that is so suiting :lol: 

Nah it's alright. I just need to figure out how to more permanently pull myself out. It won't be forever, the depression and anxiety are unfortunately genetic. My mother has anxiety, 3 of 4 of my grandparents were diagnosed and treated for major depression. My sister has depression and anxiety. It's just how it is. But you're right it definitely fills you with a pretty vigorous ability to fight yourself :lol: which sounds exhausting but it definitely helps. You can't let things like that take over or it will control you, you can't totally control it but if you don't fight back it's worse. And it does get easier as you start training your brain to not think about things that trigger depression and focus on things that pull you out. It's not full proof but it helps. Think happy thoughts to reference Peter Pan. 

But thank you. Thinking about how you mentioned, we're not showing for top scores. We're showing for the experience actually really helped. It's silly but I put a lot of pressure on myself because I'm always trying to do my best and get the best and if I don't do my best, I get mad at myself which is a bad mind set for horses. You just have to go with the flow with horses, still actively ride and correct yourself to improve but putting pressure like that puts pressure on them. But I appreciate the pep talk  you're right. Just give Dante a positive experience.

And definitely. It really helped to have the saddle. I felt like I could really ride him that much better and even though it's not really a good fit, he went a lot better imo.

I forgot the Dante playing video. He was pretty full of it and I was like I am NOT coming over there. No way. I know he'd have kicked me had I put myself in that position. Keep in mind he'd already blasted around for a bit before I took the video and I was like nah I'll video. Why not?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6lclCr8Jow


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## whisperbaby22

A lot of this stuff you are going through is because you care. If this stuff was to hard for you, you would not be doing as well in life as you are. In other words, if you were to crawl in a hole, you would be letting this stuff get the better of you. But you do not. You are doing a lot with your life, and doing it well.


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## tinyliny

That horse be fast!


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## Tazzie

Well, I still have faith you'll figure it out 

I can see how they would both be good, but I think you'll be happier right now to stick with Pam. I think Mari will have some good stuff later on or here and there 

The world needs stubborn people :lol: and yeah, that Arab brain wants to be challenged and kept entertained. Izzie does better when she learns something new and works to master it. But if we don't work on something new, she starts finding ways to misbehave. Every trainer I have worked with has said it's the Arab side of her brain :lol: and yes! One day, we will make it happen :lol:

LOL, I love the nickname! It's too cute!

That does sound tough and exhausting! But you're a strong person!

I totally understand. I do the same thing to myself and Nick of all people gives me my pep talk :lol: many deep breaths and think "I just want Dante to be happy in the show ring. The show ring needs to be a fun, happy place!" You can do it!

That's great 

The video is awesome! Sassy little boy!

GOOD LUCK TODAY!


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## Rainaisabelle

I know how you feel with the genetics. When I was 14 I was diagnosed with biological depression which basically means I inherited it and have had it practically my whole life. I started medication about a month ago and it freaks me out because I've been this way for almost 20 years so what I am going to be like without it ? 


I find the easiest thing is to make sure I don't stay in my own head for to long or else I just continually think about things for to long.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tinyliny- Yes he is :lol: he can definitely get some speed going. He's just an athletic spazz. Next morning he went outside in a 1 acre field and ripped out of my hands before I could get the halter totally off and galloped around the field for a good while before I could get the halter off and then he still ran and eventually ate grass. 

Whisperbaby22- I think you're right. That's been a "problem" of mine and yes I think it causes more internal pain to care but at the same time you get to an experience a kind of "fullness" to living. I don't get the point if all you live for is yourself. But thank you  I try to keep working forward and keep trying to build because no matter how you might "feel" about things you still have to pay bills and lead a full life. Just gotta keep building and growing, you can't stop and can't quit just because it gets tough and really sucks sometimes. I'll say Parris Island definitely showed me how to persevere and push through. It's hard to explain the transformation that takes place. It's different when something is 24/7 every single day and becomes your new life.
_______________________________________

Katie- Thank you  I certainly appreciate it.

I agree. Pam is great for moving things forward too, she just has a different approach. And she's really good with Dante. It's a good fit. They both bring a lot to the table and offer good advice. Both are excellent horse women. 

Yes it does. Stubborn but in the determined-productive way! Yep Dante's the same way. Can definitely see Izzy being like that too.

lol thank you. I just think it's funny because he's such a PrimaDante (vet's nickname for him).

Overall I'm strong. I don't always feel that way but I get through it. Just human :lol:

lol that's great! That's what a good husband should do! And I'm sure you do the same for him when he needs it. It helps to have someone there to talk you through it. But thank you 

Yes he is :lol: he is very sassy. Who knew my kid had a mind of his own. I joke he takes after me because we have similar personalities and quirks, except I don't bite or kick people.

And thank you!
____________________________________________________________

Rainaisabelle- That definitely makes things tough. I entirely understand. When it's genetic, it's a physical-chemical imbalance. But I'm really glad you're taking medication. My sister did and it made a world of difference. Depression is incredibly tough to work through and sort out.

And I TOTALLY agree. The hardest part is staying out of your head but it's the best thing for keeping yourself well because the thoughts just take over and suddenly it's a waterfall of negativity and sorrowful thoughts.
____________________________________________________________

Show news. Dante was REALLY good. First test he was tense because he was really spooky around the judges stand but he was SO good. I am so proud of him. He was SO SO good. We came home with a 3rd and 1st. He was so good. 

The warm up arena was crazy. We almost had a numb nut crash into us because she wasn't paying attention. I'll say I'm usually a pretty patient person but that kind of thoughtlessness and carelessness in my book is totally unacceptable. She would have had her *** lit up if she had crashed into Dante. I'm pretty understanding but that's flat out dangerous, if you can't control your horse or pay attention to what you're doing and end up severely hurting someone or causing psychological damage to a horse, you don't deserve a simple talking. You need a wake up call. Let's just say I'm glad it didn't happen that way. Her trainer yelled at her to call out what she's doing, pay attention and to be mindful of other riders. She came from behind me, so I didn't see her. I was trying to keep Dante calm and focused. He was so good for how chaotic it was. He was definitely a stressball first day and in the morning but we worked, got his focus and he got better.

Our marks weren't stellar but from what everyone and my trainer said and from reading the score card myself. I don't think the judge is a rider/trainer or anything. To judge schooling shows you can be anyone and do a judges course. The marks just didn't make sense to me at all, they were all over the map. I don't care if I don't get high marks, as long as they make sense and are fair. In the past, even at schooling shows I could look at a test and say well that's fair or that's generous but that's how it was for everyone, not just me. And my trainer who is very objective about these things said the same thing. Like I got a 4 for something that I've gotten 6's on. Granted 4yrs ago but still my trainer agreed the scores didn't make sense for anyone. 

Was also funny because Dante had a baby tantrum on the ground, so Pam handled him and she almost never calls a horse a jerk or @ss and she was like Cassie your horse is an *** hole. And Hailey (the girl who works at the barn) and I busted out laughing. He really is. His problem is he's extremely smart and equally stubborn and he was just done with the day. 

IMO we didn't do as well 2nd test. Dante was tired. He's never been ridden twice in one day and it took a lot to ride him but he was really good. He was a lot more relaxed in this test. We had too much space in the leg yield. I was like crap how do I space this out? Because we'd have touched the wall just after B otherwise. We didn't get enough change in the lengthenings but surprisingly we got 7.5s for it? He tripped a few times. I don't know why. Dante and I were pretty tired by this point, I was like we've got this. Not our best but I am so incredibly proud of him. For a first show and him being as nervous as he was. Awesome. 2nd test he wasn't that nervous. 1st test he was.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jraCzmo0tAA


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## Tihannah

Congratulations!!! I watched your test and my palms were sweating like it was me! Lol. You should be so proud of Dante! He did fantastic! I thought you held him together so well! Heck, I couldn't even get Tess together for a mock show at our own barn! Lol. I thought you guys looked great!

I do have one question though? Why did you so sitting trot through most of it and posting trot towards the end? Does it matter which one you do in 1st level?

P.S. I missed the pics from yesterday. He looks SOOO handsome and I LOVE the dapples in his coat!


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## whisperbaby22

Hey, congratulations!


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## Rainaisabelle

So proud of you!!


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## Tazzie

You're welcome 

Oh yeah, I wasn't meaning that. Just sounds like Pam is the good fit right now though 

Exactly! And yeah, she is :lol: we have to keep their brains thinking :lol:

Haha, he really is!

I know you're strong  and I know you'll get through this!

It definitely helps! And you're welcome! See, and it worked! You went out and rocked it!

Haha, yeah. Gotta love them!

As for the show, you did great! You could tell he was tired, but he still did great! You did have a good enough amount of lengthening I felt, so I felt you earned your score there. I felt you rode the tests well! And awesome placings! Congratulations!

Tina, for First, you can ride sitting or rising, but most sit the trot. Toward the end she did a stretchy circle, which specifically calls for you to do a rising trot. She sat after the stretchy circle


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## DanteDressageNerd

Unfortunately I don't have time to comment on a lot of threads, so I will later today.

Tina- I sat because as Katie mentioned you have the option of either at 1st level. For the most part I've seen people post. I sit because Dante is more confident sitting than posting. He moves better. We posted the circle because you're required to post on the stretchy circle. Plus the saddle doesn't fit quite right so when I post it rotates more than when I sit.

But thank you. I think he's quite handsome too  we kept getting asked if he was a lusitano or azteca. The arab people didn't think he was an arab cross. 

And I think we did a good job too. I couldn't be more proud of him. I think he likes showing. He likes being at the show grounds. He likes the change. He gets nervous/worried and fed up at the end of the day but he seems to like it.

Then this is first level test 1. Note the scores were not appropriate for anyone's rides I saw but we got a 54 for this ride. Keep in mind he had jumped out from under me side ways before we got in the ring because he was pretty spooky. Which is why he's a little tense but I was determined to ride through it without blow ups. You can see him get worried about the judges stand lol. Score was a 54. Again judging was not appropriate, nor were the scores. I don't care if they're low but they should be appropriate and make sense. Not a 4 for he popped his head up a moment or dropped into a transition. But honestly I am so proud of him, I don't think he could have behaved better and given the situation. I don't think I could have ridden it better. He was so nervous, if I let him look at anything he thought death was upon him. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xjEXiDkzoM

Test 2 we got a 60. Some marks I felt were fair, some I was like ok? and others I was like that is off the mark. 4 for circle being a little too small and a 4 for dropping into trot which is not a 4.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jraCzmo0tAA

I also don't like white breeches. They make me realize how long my femur really is lol and I'm pretty muscle dense. One of the ladies was like I wish I had those thighs, they're probably help with the riding and I hate my thighs so it was interesting to hear. 

Honestly the top score I saw at all was a 65? But at a schooling show you can get judges who aren't even riders judging or don't have judging experience. My trainer is objective about judges but she said she didn't think the scores were appropriate from anyone's test. It just disappoints me because it doesn't give me an idea of what we'd realistically score. But we got the experience in and he was good.

I'm running late :lol:


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## frlsgirl

Well, I think you did fantastic all things considered; I wouldn't worry so much about low scores especially if nobody received stellar scores.

I hope to ride as well as you do one day, so know that you have fans who support you 100%


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## Skyseternalangel

You and Dante looked lovely! He seemed pretty happy with the tests which is fab! You look amazing in white breeches... 

I can't wear white with Sky because then he looks instantly dirty. Going to try and get away with dove grey... or a creamy golden color (not as dark as tan)

So happy you and Dante showed!


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## frlsgirl

Skyseternalangel said:


> I can't wear white with Sky because then he looks instantly dirty. Going to try and get away with dove grey... or a creamy golden color (not as dark as tan)



I've never even considered that! I'm sure glad I have a bay horse because even when she's dirty she looks clean and I don't have to worry about my clothes clashing with her or making her look dirty.


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## Tazzie

Yeah, I truly think you were nailed FAR too hard on those tests. You could see at that first halt he was like "WHAT IS THAT!" But he rode through it because you asked him to. I have a hard time judging circle sizes from that angle, but they didn't look that bad... and dropping to the trot REALLY didn't deserve the 4. That is absolutely ridiculous.

At least you guys both had a GREAT experience. I know you'll rock them out as he gets more comfortable with showing. It's great he seemed to like showing. It's a pretty electric atmosphere in general! Can only go up from here!


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## Skyseternalangel

frlsgirl said:


> I've never even considered that! I'm sure glad I have a bay horse because even when she's dirty she looks clean and I don't have to worry about my clothes clashing with her or making her look dirty.


Yeah it's awful. Even a white shirt doesn't help him out any.


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## frlsgirl

Yeah, what Tazzie said. Just to give you a comparison, I have shown Ana in Intro B 4 different times now and here are the scores:

61%
58%
67.5%
60.3%

There are so many things that affect your scores; the first test I had a rider error plus I was nervous. The second test I was sick as a dog and just wanted to get it done. The third test, I had a great warm-up and rode every stride. The 4th test, we sank into the arena dirt because of footing issues, then the video-grapher fell off the stool, and I didn't have time to warm up so she wasn't through at all.

It's all about exposure, the experience, having fun with your horse, and learning.

The other day my former trainer (gold medalist) posted on FB that she had a rider error during her test when she forgot the rein-back. 

If you think about, there are so many things that can go wrong, it's surprising that any of us get through a test without incident. We should get a special ribbon just for that!


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## frlsgirl

I saw this and thought of you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6Pvv_PQouc


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. I'm very proud of Dante. I don't care what we got. I know we did a good job. Was it perfect no but I know we did our best. And we definitely had a great experience! I'm very proud of him. He really was terrified but we were able to ride through it and he was like okay, this isn't too bad. I think he liked going on an adventure. He was very curious and interest in all the changes. 

I agree things definitely don't go according to plan during tests and ordinarily I wouldn't say something like this but I really don't think that judge knew what she was doing. To judge a schooling show you don't have to have any accomplishments other than to have 2 scores at 2nd level over a 60%. You just have to sign up for a basic judges course, so they don't always know what they're doing. I know my barn didn't go to one schooling show because of who was judging, they had no business being a judge. When a judge doesn't know what they're doing they don't give accurate marks which gives a very poor idea in the rider's mind of what's expected. I'm all about being objective and fair about scoring but when the scores flat out don't make sense and are all over the map and dont add up that's an issue. It didn't make sense. Like we got a 4 because he slightly lost his balance which isn't a 4. A 4 is like they didn't execute the movement. It frustrates me not because of the score we got but because the grading didn't make sense at all. My trainer is very objective. In the past when she's looked at scores sheet she'd often be like well that's fair, etc but she was like the marks just don't make sense. They were literally all over the map. She said I don't think this judge knows what she is doing and I agree. I've known a few judges who were definitely qualified. Lee is an FEI 3* judge, Dolly Hannon is an S judge and Ken was an R judge. Lee said with scoring and giving accurate marks every horse starts at a 10 for each movement and gradually the score comes down based on a few different factors like basically doing it is a 5, doing it mostly accurately but maybe loss of rhythm/balance is a 6, 7 is like it was accurate, small issue, 8 is accurate and well done, 9 is very well done, accurate, horse is consistent, looks really good and 10 is perfection, marvel, absolutely incredible. Or under judges in the past there was some kind of consistency or set expectation in their grading that made sense. They might be harsh but the grading made sense. This just didnt.

Literally I had a harsh judge when I had my old tb and we had a TERRIBLE test, I mean terrible and we scored a 51-54%. We were eliminated one ride because he flat out bolted so I had to drop my reins or he'd have taken the bit and shot off down the highway. He had anxiety/panic issues. Drop the reins you could still steer, take hold of him and he'd take the bit and bolt. Judge was screaming at me to take hold of his face and asked me what I was doing and I said steering!! Couldn't yell back this is the only thing allowing me to keep some kind of control until he calmed down.

Tanja- I really enjoyed that video. Thank you. Her imagery was really amusing :lol: and thank you. I appreciate the support  And certainly. I think we all have scores all over the board. Some days we just don't ride as well or are horse has a bad day or just doesn't want to do it. But we definitely had a positive experience. 

Sky- That is very unfortunate. I didn't think about that either, though they still wear the white breeches at shows but I could see how he'd have to be extra white or maybe an off white-white breech? 

Katie- I entirely agree. The 4 for that was ridiculous, a 4 is like didn't execute the movement. I'm not taking the scores personally/seriously. They just didn't make sense. Even on other people's test it was like what the hell? It just didn't make sense and I've honestly never experienced that before. And definitely. I'm sure we'll have better and worse rides ahead. Just gotta get a saddle first. If I have to buy new, we're not showing but if I can find a good used one under 3k we will be. It takes several months to get a new custom saddle and I want him in something that actually fits him next time.

And pictures from him playing


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## Rainaisabelle

I just watched your tests ! Wow yes please! They were beautiful so smooth !


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## Tazzie

I'm glad you aren't taking that personally! I agree, there are good judges and bad judges out there. And you'll have good rides and bad rides. But the point is, you got out there, and you did it this time. You almost backed out because of the saddle, but you didn't! And you rocked it in my opinion! He held it together and you should be SUPER proud of him for that!

And those pictures are awesome! He was having so much fun!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you both  we've been putting in a lot of work and training.

I'm pretty proud of Dante.

Today he was a little sore (if they're not badly sore, we still work because honestly when I was very athletic and sore it helped to work out lightly than to sit around and it's the same with them) but we had a come to Jesus moment about the right shoulder. He was trying to bull doze through his right shoulder and lure me pull on the right rein and I was like no you bas!ard that's not how it works. I put my inside leg on, you bend around it so I can half halt you on the outside rein. Pet you with the inside and you carry yourself. He was very upset about that one but lost. It was a very light ride. A lot of walk, some trot. Then he got a full body massage for about an hour. I really hope he realizes most horses aren't so pampered. He looked so relaxed, I think he really enjoyed it. Hopefully that will help. He also was stretched and pampered because he is my princess. He was very sweet 

I decided we're not doing the Devon Kane clinic. I told Pam we're not because the saddle just isn't going to work. I don't like what it's done to the muscles in his back and long term I don't want him to end up developing kissing spine or a pinched nerve or something from incorrect saddle fit. And we're trying the albion saddles this Sunday. I may go custom, he is SO hard to fit and trying to find something used has been a nightmare because the back panels either aren't wide enough all the way down or they're straight across vs angled in the back or the saddle isn't wide enough through the channel. He gets pinched BADLY in most saddles around where the stirrup bars are because his back is so wide and his withers are so long. He's a wide. Plus his shoulder comes back pretty far, so saddles always tend to ride up onto his shoulders and/or are too long for his back, so he needs special shoulder panels. We need a 17 1/2 with a short panel because his saddle space is really small :-( if we go custom we will not be showing this season. It's just too much money and it takes a few months to get a new saddle to come in. The other thing is I can't ride in a twist that's too wide (which is suggested to make more space for his width) and I have to be careful with seats because of my tendonosis in my iliopsoas tendon. Plus I have degenerative disks and honestly I'm as hard to fit as Dante is because I'm not a standard build at all, so he's the first priority and I have a range of what I'll work with. For low level stuff you can ride in about anything but as you start climbing, you really need a saddle that is supportive but not restrictive. It makes a big difference.

And bareback is okay short term but long term I don't think it's as good for his back as a well fitted saddle. I can feel the difference between saddle vs bareback in how he uses his back. A custom albion is about 3000-4800 dollars which isn't bad custom wise but it's still a LOT of money. Hopefully I can get my saddle sold for about 2300. I have no idea what we'll get but if I spend money, I'm getting EXACTLY what I want. I waited a long time to buy my own horse. I waited until I could pamper my horse with what he needed because when I had my tb and was a working student and couldn't afford to take care of him the way I wanted. That was pure hel! I just want to do it all right this time.

I really bought Dante thinking he'd be low maintenance but because he is a non standard horse with tricky saddle fit issues across the board. It's more expensive lol. And he doesn't like foam.

I've looked at some other types of dressage saddles but they just make them so dang deep and I just can't ride in a saddle with too deep a seat. I can't go up a seat size because he can't be in a saddle over a 17 1/2 because then it's too long and it just hurts me. It puts so much pressure between my shoulder blades after a little while it gets hard to breathe. I'm pretty pain tolerant but if I'm spending that kind of money and don't have to tolerate it, I can be as big of a diva as I want. Just like Dante.

I actually rode the bounciest horse I've ever ridden in a saddle that was terrible. It was a verhan and it literally rubbed sores into my knees like rubbed them raw because I have a long femur. That was painful. I've also ridden in ones that literally send your balance off of where it should be. I've ridden in so many different saddles :lol:


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## frlsgirl

Saddle fit fascinates and frustrates me at the same time. It seems like the bigger your frustration level, the higher your saddle budget  When I first got Ana, I only tried used saddles under 1k; then I thought I splurged on the Thornhill Klasse until I got the Mike Corcoran Merit Dressage saddle. It fits Ana perfectly; it's comfortable for me but I find myself slipping into a chair seat and I don't know if it's fixable or if it's just how my body fits in the saddle. 

I might make a couple more trip to the Horse of Course and try out a couple of other saddles. I've always wanted to try a Schleese and a Custom and they have both. The barn sitter is also a trainer; she travels from barn to barn and rides different horses; she swears by her saddle: a Custom Icon Flight; she said it fits every horse she puts it on, although with some horses she has to use extra padding as the saddle is a M/W and some horses need more of medium tree.

Anyway, I just wanted to say I feel your pain! I've dropped over 6k on saddles in the two years I've had Ana! Saddle fit IS really important! Ana developed a hollow spot in front of the withers from the Thornhill pinching her in the withers! It took about 6 months of correct riding in a fitting saddle for that hole to fill in.

Regarding the burden of the expense, some saddle reps let you do a payment plan; or you can get a 0% credit card somewhere and then pay it off before the interest kicks in. That way you won't be enticed to accept any shortcuts in an effort to save money, which will end up costing you money later.


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## Tazzie

Yup, a light work is better than doing nothing! Sounds like someone had his super sassy pants on too :lol: but glad you worked through it. And he's a lucky horse to get a fully body massage afterward!

Probably wise not to do the clinic. I'd definitely focus on finding you the best saddle, even if that means going custom. I'm sure he will appreciate having one that fits well! And haha! Be a diva! Truly, if you are spending that money, it needs to make you BOTH comfortable. I wouldn't settler either!

I've ridden in a lot, but not many that I felt I needed to have right this minute. Which is why I get frustrated :lol: I know I'll be excited but frustrated when we start this journey! Thank goodness my husband loves me and knows that I want the best for me and Izzie :lol:


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## Rainaisabelle

I spent $1340 on my latest saddle, my partner almost died of shock ahaha ! It's a second hand saddle but it fits really well and I certainly noticed a difference when I got a proper fitting saddle to when I just had any old saddle.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Saddle fit really is fascinating. There is a whole art form to picking the right saddle and even a custom built saddle can sometimes not be the appropriate fit the horse because what should work in "theory" doesn't make the horse happy. But I'm glad you were able to find something that makes you and Ana happy. I can't tell you whether it's saddle or you but if it's a close enough fit you can work with it.

I'd be careful with schlese. This may be me personally but I've never liked any of the ones I've sat in. It feels like you're sat in a hole and your hips lock up. I've known a few people get custom saddles from them and then the saddles not end up fitting the horse, even after a reconstruction. Like one lady, her horse literally went lame in the saddle so they brought the vet out. Without the saddle horse was sound, in the saddle horse was lame again. I'm just not a schlese fan. I know some people love them, I just feel they're too restrictive, bulky and so darn heavy. I've also tried custom. I can't make a judgement on them because the saddle I rode in really wasn't built for me. It was like an 18 1/2 (the lady isn't big she's just tall with a really long femur). 

Yikes!! 6k on saddles. Believe me over the years, I totally understand. I just bought my trilogy in September. And before that I had an amerigo but Dante out grew that. But it's amazing what damage improper saddle fit can do to their back. 

Dante's back from the two rides in the trilogy has knots back where the slope of his spine comes up kinda over his kidneys. His withers are also tight because the saddle lacks curve so it has two points it hits because the tree is straight. It's frustrating but he likes that saddle the best out of everything in the barn atm.

I'll have to see how it goes payment wise on the saddle. I'll probably put in a deposit and then pay in full when it comes.

______________

And yes he definitely had his sassy pants on :lol: he was like I do not bend that way, I don't want to step under like that and I was like I'm not pulling on the right rein. I put my heel into his shoulder and he was like what!! On crap and did some steep shoulder ins and he worked it out. And yes he is. I don't know how'd he'd make it without fairly regular massages. He's a lot better with regular massages or he's more tricky about things.

For sure! Plus her clinics are super expensive! Like $225 per ride! I need the money for this new saddle, so $450 is a lot! And exactly!! If I'm spending around 4k I dam well get what I want! And it better be amazing!! I want something that will work out for at least a few years!

lol I'm glad your husbands understand and will accept that sometimes a girl just has to spend the money. Horse girls don't get new diamond rings, we get new saddles that cost just as much!
___________________________________________________________
I'm sure he was. It's a lot of money! But it makes a world of difference to have something that works for you and your boy!

-------------

In other news I've gotten into watching Quantum Leap again :lol: I prefer the older shows. 

and have another computer science lab tomorrow...I'm not excited. I have most of the code outlined but I already know I probably wont finish and work out the bugs for it to work by tomorrow. 

So I didn't see Dante today because I have more homework to do :/ but priorities and being an adult lol.


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## Tazzie

Ah yes, we've had major discussions about bending too :lol: sassy half Arabs :lol: I understand that! I'm sure he appreciates them!

Yikes! Yeah, while I'm sure the clinic would be beneficial, I think a saddle is needed more :lol: then maybe primaDante will be happy :lol: exactly! Spending that amount needs to make you BOTH happy!

I'm thankful too! He knows I'm going to try to keep it within our budget, but he knows we need something better. Our saddle just isn't working out, and I don't have any other options right now. The bad thing about being totally on your own :sad: soon I hope!

Yay about the show :lol: but boo about homework and not seeing Dante :lol: it sucks needing to be an adult sometimes :lol:


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## frlsgirl

DanteDressageNerd said:


> In other news I've gotten into watching Quantum Leap again :lol: I prefer the older shows.


That's too funny! I do the same thing; I stream old episodes of Lindenstrasse on YouTube; it's a popular TV show in Germany; the first episode aired in the 80s and the show is still going strong today!

I sometimes say that my life is a little bit like an episode of Quantum Leap; sometimes I wake up in the morning and I'm like "where am I, who am I, what am I supposed to be doing today?"


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> Ah yes, we've had major discussions about bending too
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Very sassy! It's the stock horse, I swear. I've ridden some sassy stock horses. I had a paint mare I rehabbed named Kate who was VERY sassy. Attitude about everything but once she got going she was awesome, I think she'd shown through 2nd? I know she schooled 2nd and showed at least 1st. Just had to tip toe because no aid could be too blunt or she'd have a fit. She wasn't sensitive like Dante but specific lol. But if someone was a beginner she was SO tolerant. It was really cool. Her owner was very nervous and she never gave her trouble, just if you knew what you were doing lol.

But he does appreciate the massage. He starts closing his eyes and pins his ears and gets mad when I stop lol. Like how dare you servant!!

Devon is really good and I think she'd be even better now that Dante is a whole lot less green. She said he was a very complicated, quirky young horse. He was pretty difficult last clinic. And I'd prefer to save that money for a saddle or something more permanent or if Lee comes back. He's definitely worth the money. He's the best clinician I've ever worked with.

It makes sense. Wintecs are fine to start with and they're not bad saddles. You just get to a point where you need to move up and on to something more purpose built and less general. But glad he gets it! Fortunately Izzy looks a little less broad (maybe Im wrong) and her shoulders don't come back as far, so hopefully you can find the perfect one used or more easily! Lots of good used saddles. Dante is just so thick threw the wither and down his back saddles pinch him where the stirrup bars are, so we need a wider twist. Plus the special shoulder panels so the saddle doesn't slide forward onto his shoulders. Maybe she'll let me have a trial on a demo saddle?

It does. No one enjoys adulting lol but I like it better than being a kid. I get to control more of my life lol.

And that's awesome!! I'm glad you've seen Quantum Leap and have shows you enjoy! Lol I hope your life isn't as confusing as poor Sam's is lol.


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## Tazzie

Haha, it could be! I've known a few stock types that you told them and they just said "ok." Not many of the Arabs were quite so easy. Though, the worst was a purebred QH. He needed to do anything other than dressage. He was an A**. I hated that horse. The first horse I leased was an Arab, who could be sweet, then for no reason say "we aren't doing this today." Darn horses.

Yup, you are his servant :lol:

I'm sure it'd be great! But you need something a bit more permanent for a saddle :lol: maybe next time?

They are fine to start, and handy to keep around for others, but we need to move up if we want to keep moving up in training. And her pictures are extremely deceiving. She's actually in the extra wide gullet plate for the wintec, the widest you can go before you'd have to buy their wintec wide saddle. The woman I lessoned with Friday tried on her wide Albion and it fit like a glove in all the areas she wanted it to, and still had good clearance over the back. I feel that the wintec kind of restricts her shoulder too much. It'll be interesting to see how she rides in the Albion.

LOL, that is very true. And really one of the only reasons I like being an adult :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

It could be both *shrugs* I know the arabians I've worked with might be silly but they always tried hard and meant well vs the stock horses I've ridden while they might be good, have an opinion. But definitely there are some who just need a different job and forcing them to do it, won't make them happy.

Yes I am and not ashamed to admit it :lol: I am my horse's servant. I don't know, I'm still looking at the saddles but got a lot of stuff to think about. 

For sure. Definitely ride in the albion and see how it goes. I guess she is a little deceptive. I didn't think she was as wide as he is. And I agree. I think wintecs restrict shoulder movement too or at least the ones I've seen do because of how the front is designed. I hope your saddle search goes well and I really hope you both like the albion! It's great you both have one available to try!

And same here :lol: I like making choices and being responsible.

_________________________ 

Well I had a lesson on Dante tonight. It was really productive and it went well but Pam kinda hinted at suggesting I sell Dante. I don't think she'd ever say anything to my face but I get the impression she thinks he's more trouble than he's worth. And I hate to be a weenie but I'll admit that kinda hurts my feelings. I know it shouldn't but it's someone I really admire, look up to and respect. I've put a lot of work into Dante and I know he's not a "nice" horse, I know he's not fancy or anything she'd ride but I don't have 30-50k to buy a young prospect. I don't have that kind of money for something "nice." But I really like Dante, he's a good fit for me. Nobody else has to ride him.

I think she looks at it as he's high maintenance, hard to ride, super sensitive, and tricky. And his attitude, I think she thinks he's just not worth the effort for what he is. She didn't say that to me, just seemed to be getting at in a subtle way. But he actually likes his job, I can't imagine him doing anything else. When I bought Dante from the arab trainer (who does it all and also rides 4th level dressage) said specifically she wouldn't sell him to a western home because he'd be miserable. He just doesn't move like that. 

But we have a new game plan. I rode him bareback and basically my trainer thinks he's much more sensitive than I realize. She says he's sensitive right? And I said yes very I think basically why he acts up is he gets his balance off and throws a fit because you use too strong a correction aid and that upsets him so he acts out. And the correction I use for most horses might be nothing but for Dante it's too much. So to correct him it was almost like thoughts if that makes sense? Like I still send a signal down the outside rein to half halt but more like a pulse or sensation. Tried that he was better. Pam was like you're more than capable of this, look at it as look how sensitive and aware my horse is. Make it a positive. She said you have to be 10 times more aware, 10 times more prepared and 10 times more tactful. So we worked on quite a lot. It's definitely upping our game and making me step it up. It just kinda makes me want to cry lol.

Maybe I am wasting my time with him because I do want to show and I do want to go upper level but I think I need to think about is it worth it with him. I'm spending probably 1000+ a month, then looking at a 4k saddle. Which is really disheartening to think about. I've probably spent at least 25k on him since I bought him. And honestly even if he makes it upper level, I could never sell him for much. He's a professionals ride but not a professionals talent. He's not talented enough for a professional and too much trouble for most amateurs. I'm poor, I make do with what I have. I'm not into throwing horses away because they're not superstars or they're tricky. I invested in him and I love him. He trusts me and we have a good bond. I don't ride for "scores" or "prestige." I ride because I enjoy building that partnership and bond with a horse and I love that Dante trusts me so much when he's really scared he turns to me and listens. I love that he loves me back. We have a strong bond.

I think he's worth it. I think he has what it takes to do the upper levels and no I'm not going to get the scores on him, I might on something "nice" even if I ride 10x better. It's not fair but it's how it is. You start with a 10 mover and quality horse you move down from a 10, if you start with a 7 mover/quality of horse you start at a 7. That's just how it is. But more importantly I think he wants to do it. I think he enjoys his job, I never get the impression that he's unhappy or doesn't like what he's doing. I think he's just opinionated. It just hurts and it's stupid that is hurts but honestly I'm more sensitive than most people realize :lol: one of those stupid aspergers traits. Very sensitive in stupid ways. 

A few pics from today. Nothing stellar. And the giant horse is a solid 18.2h, next to 16h Dante. It just stunned me.


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## Rainaisabelle

Peopl have said that to me and of course it hurts ! You put effort, money and time into your horse so why wouldn't it hurt ! I think it's rude.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Exactly! It's like being told your horse isn't good enough and a waste of time.

I don't think she meant it to be rude. I think she was being practical. She loves the horses but ultimately she looks at it as a business. Horses are assets. The horses she rides are extremely nice. And Dante is capable but he's not "nice." He's plain but capable. He wants to work. He just has a whole lot of attitude but bottom line he enjoys his job. He enjoys what he's doing and he's extremely smart. Pam said she'd trade a little less smart for a little more cooperative. I think she looks at it as if I'm goal oriented and going for the upper levels, Id be better off with a different horse. And yeah that's probably true. Dante doesnt make a rider look good. He's not going to get the scores I would on something different. He's very hard to ride well and I think Pam looks at it as at what point is it worth it? Spending all this money, making all these extra efforts and fighting for a horse whose an *** and makes thongs way more difficult than it needs to be when I could buy something else that's "nicer" less tricky/complicated and going to be less difficult to campaign. He moves spanishy and a lot of judges don't like that, especially at the lower levels. He moves very up and down and isn't fluid like a TB or WB.

That's another reason why I couldnt be a professional if I wanted. I value the relationship with a horse and always relying on someone else, luck and good fortune for things to work out while you're scraping by miserable. And if your ambitious and want to make it to the top, you gotta go through a lot of horses and mark them as expendable. Not in a destructive way but in a they don't have what it takes to make it, sell to a good home and work on something else.


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## Tazzie

I'm betting it's the combo of the two :lol: but yeah, he needed to do something like barrels. Not dressage. It was not his forte at all.

Eh, so am I :lol: one of my friends on Facebook likes to remind me that Izzie is a princess and I am her servant :lol:

Yeah, her height and her width are extremely deceptive. NO one guesses she's 15 hands, and NO one thinks she's that wide until they hop on. We had her in the wide wintec gullet, and that is what caused the meltdown at our last show. But for sure! It's at least a starting point to see what we can get. I'm tempted to try the other one she has (if only I could remember the darn name!) and see what Izzie thinks of it. It is specifically designed to allow very free shoulder movement. I may text her to ask her what the saddle was. And yeah, she still swings her shoulder ok with the wintec, but I know she has more to give and can't.

Some days I like being responsible! Others I would love to not have to make decisions :lol:

Interesting thought about the correction. You think you're being light, but Dante disagrees. I'm sure you'll get it.

And that is hard. I'm sorry she even made a passing comment about it :sad: I, for one, think he's worth it. But I've always liked the off beat horse no one thought could do it.

I know it's hard to go against your trainer, but in this situation I would. Yes, I know you spend a lot on him. But he makes you truly happy. And honestly, you seem like someone who would need a quirky horse in your life :lol: I would maybe tell her you aren't interested in selling him to buy something else. He is your baby after all.


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## frlsgirl

Oh man, that is so frustrating to hear! You spend all your resources on a horse that's clearly right for you and then your trainer says something like that. Ugh!

Unfortunately, I can totally relate. Few trainers have said anything encouraging to me about moving up the levels with Ana. Occasionally , I hear "oh that stretchy walk could easily get a 9" or "she's going to score really high on the stretchy trot circle" and "she has a very nice and correct walk"...but then I also hear "Have you thought about making her into a trail horse? She seems to love walking on the buckle."

Natasha includes a section on "mindset" in her DM program; and that really changed how I think about my situation with Ana. Sure if I had the perfect purpose bread WB, I could have my Bronze my now. But training Ana myself is rather challenging; she doesn't respond like a textbook Dressage horse; she knows every possible evasion and she uses them all in every ride in the blink of an eye. 

What if, training a very difficult horse myself is the greatest gift I could have ever given myself? Because, if I can figure out how to ride and train a challenging horse, then riding and training an average horse will be a walk in the park. What if I can one day share my knowledge with others who are going through the same thing? What if the same is true for you and Dante?

Aside from the technical training aspect, there is also the relationship aspect to consider. I can't see myself ever selling Ana; we've been through so much together and like Dante trusts you, Ana trusts me. I think there is nothing more special in this whole world, than having a special bond with a horse.

Just some food for thought


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- It very well could be.

But we have to be servants to support our Princesses!

Some horses are really deceptive. I know Bailey is 15h even and he's quite wide but you watch him go you'd have no idea he was such a little horse or that he was a qh. He looks like a mini warmblood. And definitely try whatever you can get your hands on and get an idea of what you really like or don't like and what Izzy likes or doesn't like. Best way to go.

lol that is true. There are days I wish I didn't have to make a choice and could just run away but never an option unfortunately :lol:

When we started doing it that way, I caught on pretty quick but it's definitely going to be something we'll probably expand upon next lesson tomorrow. We'll see. We're definitely being challenged and I think Pam is who we need to be trained with. It's very eye opening and makes me feel very small but in an enlightening way, not a demeaning way. Pam's not demeaning or belittling.

She kinda started it talking about well maybe Dante needs a different career and asked about what his brother does, etc. It was subtle but I know her really well and know what she was getting at. To her it's not that she doesn't love the horse's but she looks at it more from a business perspective. If you have a limited amount of resources, is it worth investing in the horse whose high maintenance, hard to ride/train and isn't going to get the marks of something that moves more fluid? Dante moves very up and down which is also why he's so bouncy. And realistically it's going to be a lot harder with Dante than something more fluid. He's not going to get the marks of a really supple, fancy warmblood. That's just realistic, even if I ride 10x better and ride my heart out and Dante gives everything he has, we won't get the same marks as someone who puts in a decent test and has a much higher quality horse. It's just how it is. You start with a 10 mover and move down from there, you start with a 7 mover and move down from there. Though there is a lady at my barn, whose a friend of mine and she almost has her silver medal on a paint/cob cross who is 14.3h *cross fingers* she earns it this summer. She's done an incredible job with him and is getting in the 60s at 4th and PSG on him which IMO is phenomenal and I know how much better she has to ride for those marks because it is a lot harder on a "plainer" horse than something that is naturally uphill, fluid, and has it. He's never going to be as impressive and it's not going to make me look "good" but that's not the point imo.

And me too I like the under dog or oddity. Even if I had all the money in the world, I think I'd want a really nice spanish horse because I think they're really neat and I like them.

I honestly don't think I could sell Dante. I think he'd feel really betrayed which may sound silly but animal do feel depression, anxiety, love and can have their feelings hurt. They have emotions. And I could see him getting passed around until he ends up in slaughter. And quite honestly I love him, he fits me and we have a really strong bond. He's my kid and I feel blessed to have him in my life. I don't think I could do that to him.

And it is because she is someone I really admire and look up to as a rider and other things. 
______________________

Tanja- exactly. I think that's something everyone deals with when they have a horse that isn't ideal because it is a lot harder to develop those horses and it does take more time. Sometimes they can't do it but sometimes they can. it just depends on the horse. And in general I don't think you often hear encouraging words from trainers, just well you did it.

And certainly it can make it a lot easier having a purpose bred dressage horse because they start more naturally balanced, more naturally fluid supple, etc. But mindset is definitely important. And it is different when you're riding something that provides unique challenges like Ana or Dante. Like Pam said yesterday Dante isn't a dumblood, he's never going to tolerate subtle mistakes like that so you have to be that much better and more skilled/aware/organized a rider to make up for it.

But those are very good thoughts. There is definitely something to learn and share with having a horse who it is harder for. And someday it may be inspiring for someone whose starting out with a horse who isn't ideal but has dreams. I know there is a woman in my area who has earned her bronze, silver, and gold medals on her paint/arab cross. He's not a fancy horse but she went out and did a great job with him. Or my friend who has a cob/paint cross that she almost has her silver medal on. I think those are pretty inspiring tales to those of us with "unique" horses to look at and say no reason why I can't too.

And absolutely. The relationship aspect imo makes a big difference and is part of why I think they try as hard as they do for us or turn to us when they're scared, rather than reacting off of instinct they know it's okay if mom says it's okay. It's a very special feeling to know how much they love and trust you. It's a deep connection that's hard to explain but when you connect, you connect.

Some more pics from yesterday. And my cat trying to be helpful with my computer science homework. She steals the show! I'm a cat lady :lol: I like dogs but I prefer cats.


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## Zexious

^Gah, what a hunk <3

I hear your frustrations for sure. 
I'm not on HF as much as many of your readers, and I don't always have time to sit down and read the multiple pages of info that I've missed, but I'm doing what I can to catch up and keep caught up!

If the synopsis I've gathered is correct, then totally don't worry about it <3 Sometimes concessions have to be made--you may need to tweak your goals slightly, or perhaps put more money into them, but even if Dante isn't your traditional Dressage horse, that certainly doesn't mean they aren't attainable! <3


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## Tihannah

I can definitely feel your frustration as I've had similar feedback from my trainer. I honestly don't even think its me. I think my trainer has been working with beginners and "non-serious" riders for so long, that she longs to have students who are eager to compete and move up the levels. She's admitted to me that it gets tiring working with young children and always going over the basics. A good deal of her students don't have their own horse, so progress with once a week lessons are slow. She says this is one of the reasons I am one of her favorites, because I am there working hard everyday to improve and she can see the improvements from week to week.

I just think your trainer can see how incredibly talented you are in the saddle and your ability to move up the levels. I think when riders get to a certain level of competition, it becomes more about competing and less about the bond we develop with our horses and working with a difficult horse is a waste of time. I think what they don't see is the reward and joy we feel when we manage to break that communication barrier and teach our horses something new. Its not always about scores or ribbons or levels, and perhaps upper levels riders lose that on their way to the top.


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## whisperbaby22

Excellent observation, and I do think that is is sad that dressage has become a place where "unique" horses are called unique. Every horse should be capable. To me, the spanish riding school horses were the ultimate dressage horse, and I was puzzled when dressage took a turn to these big warmblood breeds. And for both of you, I do think that your trainers are quietly pushing you to get other horses because they see you are both driven and both talented. You are their business, and having a really talented student is their ticket to success.


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## whisperbaby22

Nothing wrong with that, they recognize your talent.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Zexious- thank you. Dante thinks he's pretty handsome too  lol no one has to be an "avid" reader. A lot of it is me mumbling about mental health problems, struggles with Dante and college or life stuff lol. Or my cat taking over my desk and pushing all my papers off the desk.

And definitely. Dante is capable of the upper levels, I think my trainer's okay with him now. I think it was just seeing how much attitude he really has and how quirky he is that made her suggest it rather than what he moves like. He's capable but not super fancy or flashy like horses she's used to. But now I think she sees that he is willing and wants to do it.
______________________________________________________

Tina- thank you. That is pretty insightful and quite possible. As a student, I am a reflection of her and representing our barn and with my ability as a rider, having a different horse would take me further. Not level wise but riding at a higher level and aiming bigger scope wise. 

I get what your trainer is saying about getting frustrated having no-few students that are capable and ambitious and having one that is makes them want to push that one harder and to expect more from them then they would ordinarily. 

And thank you. I'm not particularly talented. Not in dressage, over fences I had something natural and innate but dressage has just been hard work and developing skills. I'm very capable and skilled which isn't something you really see as much as you feel, like if you rode a horse (not Dante, he's Dante) but a normal horse I've trained/ridden you'd feel it. It's in the details and itty bitty stuff you don't see.

But I agree. I don't think you lose it on the way to the upper levels but through ambition, trying to be on the big stage and competing nationally/internationally. My trainer for example in Fl trains with an international GP dressage rider and is surrounded by world class riders and that caliber of riders/trainers, etc which is awesome because I learn so much from her but at the same time I think when your around the world stage vs the local stage it really changes your perspective. But I definitely agree in place of ambition, it's easy to get caught up in things besides the horse-human connection and simplicity.
____________________________________________________

Whisperbaby22- I don't know that every horse is capable of the upper levels but every horse is capable of learning dressage. But I definitely can see why a trainer would put pressure towards a different horse that may "advance" our careers further. I think with her, it was more she was concerned that Dante might not be a good fit for me and my goals. I think she's changed her mind now because she's seen how willing and hard working Dante is. He's extremely sensitive which is something she kept saying but that's a good thing with upper level horses.

With the warmbloods, I get the transition. There are good and bad in every breed/type and horse. They are impressive and animated. Very sensitive. I love spanish baroque types and if I had the money I'd buy a spanish horse but I'll say in my experience with PRE's warmbloods are much easier to really get true and over their topline. PRE's are tricky to get really true and working over their back. And warmbloods extend better, can collect and are often more expressive laterally. And more responsive, PRE's can be sensitive but in a different way. You can't beat on them or they shut down but to make them sensitive, light you must be sensitive-light but assertive and demanding at the same time. It's hard to explain. 
____________________________________________________

Then with Dante today. I worked this morning, then I had a lesson and I'm in an incredible amount of pain :lol: degenerative disks are acting up. I was getting teary eyed from bending over to do laundry :lol: I only did Dante's front leg stretches because I just couldn't do the back. It put too much pressure on my back. I bend over, I cant bring myself up. It's ridiculous. My parents are 57 and I have more degenerative issues than they do. It's really kinda sad but I'm going to a specialist that was suggested to me to see if we can do something to improve this because when I'm 50 I want to be able to walk, ride and bend over.

He was really good in our lesson. We didn't have the most amazing ride ever but it was very productive. He's not moving fancy in this. He's moving very plain. He was kinda lazy lol well Dante's never lazy but not super forward and you can kick and squeeze all day long it wont make him more forward. It's all from my seat and I was more focused on trying to organize the other parts to the best of my ability first then we can make it more "impressive" later. Laterals with him is kinda like point in shoot, position and think it and he goes. Right now it's just making sure he is really-really true and straight and correctly accepting and responding to the aids, really in the outside rein and independent of the inside rein. Refining both of us. Gotta go to the itty bitty-teeny tiny details and address the issues there before going back. Only issue was addressing his shoulder in transitions, made him think he couldnt canter lol. It's tough to coordinate/organize your body in a way that isn't usual for you but he tried really hard. Oh well he worked it out at the end of the lesson. Just not allowed to throw his shoulders into transitions anymore. But you can also see why focus is my main fault and what happens when I lose focus :lol: 











Also cracked me up because Hallie and I were turning out horses and I was like but I want to be with Sporty (whose a jerk) and she's like what's the matter with you Cassie, why do you always love the biggest jerk off horses? And I was like, that's a good question. This probably explains my taste in men. She was like I see your point. But to be fair those guys and Dante were not like that when I met them. They seemed really nice and wonderful, everything I was looking for and then they showed their true colors. But with Dante he can be a jerk but he's really very lovable too.

And tomorrow we're trying saddles *fingers crossed* I honestly never ever thought I'd look at a new saddle but with Dante. I think he's going to need a custom built saddle.


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## Rainaisabelle

Sorry I'm going back lol um yes it does feel like your horse isn't worth it! At this clinic I'm at these girls were telling me what I should feed and what I should do and Roy doesn't have condition and blah blah and it was so hurtful because he's beautiful and he tries his hardest. I asked the clinician who has showed for over 15 years and he said he just needs muscle and top line.


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## Tihannah

Rainaisabelle said:


> Sorry I'm going back lol um yes it does feel like your horse isn't worth it! At this clinic I'm at these girls were telling me what I should feed and what I should do and Roy doesn't have condition and blah blah and it was so hurtful because he's beautiful and he tries his hardest. I asked the clinician who has showed for over 15 years and he said he just needs muscle and top line.


It's kinda like Cassie has mentioned before. People like to "think" they know your horse and what's best for them. I think you kinda just have to shake it off and go with opinion's you respect and have regard for. Think about the progress you've made with him.

Tess still needs more muscle and topline and is not where I'd like her to be...yet. I sometimes get horse envy when I see others effortlessly cantering their horses around. But then I remind myself how far she's come in just 5 months and I feel a bit of pride and joy.


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## Zexious

Dante--Yeah, that's what I was referring to; I guess I didn't do a good job of articulating myself. /shot. Story of my life 

Either way, I really love that cranky face of his!

Take pics when the saddle fitter comes out~


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## DanteDressageNerd

People will always give you their 2 cents whether you want it or not. Some of it is helpful, some of it is they really want to help and some of is they think belittling and putting someone else down will elevate them *shrugs* people. Honestly sometimes I want to tell them, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all if you're just going to be snarky and two faced.

Muscle and topline can be really hard to develop on tbs too. My old tb was hard to put weight and muscle on. He looked very streamlined and "eventer." It takes time and some horses are harder to put it on then others. Be proud of what you've accomplished and how far you've come together!

And Zexious- no issue. We all have trouble articulating our thoughts sometimes. And unfortunately didn't get to take pictures of the whole process, I was listening and learning and riding. I basically rode in a bunch of different saddles and after that she took measurements of Dante's back and marked it out in tape. 

And yes he makes lots of crabby faces. After we were done, he had his head tilted to the side with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. He's a special cookie.
__________________________________________________________

We're getting Dante a custom saddle. We're definitely not having a show season this year, I can't afford both. No way. I kinda want to cry because that's going to be 4300 dollars which is a LOT of money. I have it but that's just about what I paid for Dante. And I've been trying to have a show season for I think 8 or 9 years and it's just never worked out. I guess I'll sign up for summer classes if there is anything I can take because I've taken pretty much everything I'd need they offer over summer. But Dante has a TINY saddle placement, his shoulders come back pretty far and he has 17 vertebrae which angles up. So super small area. The tree will be built to fit Dante, his measurements were taken and I haven't said yes or given the money yet. I wanted to sleep on it before making a final decision. But we're not showing this season. I can't afford shows and this saddle. Just no way. It'll have the royale leather because if I get the platinum it's only an extra 100 and I like the royale better because I can get my leg closer (it's thinner leather). And with the platinum deep seat, it'll be an 18in short panel. SLK platinum ultima has the changeable head plate and panels if we had to, too. Especially because he needs custom it's cheaper to change that than buy a new saddle. If I went with standard (no platinum or changable stuff it'd be 3500). I would get a full refund if the saddle doesn't fit him exactly right. It takes about 8wks to get the saddle once they've been sent the information.

Im also pretty certain I'm developing stomach ulcers again :/ I've been good for 6yrs but I don't know what the deal is. My degenerative disk has given me SO much pain the last 2 days and the ulcer symptoms have been going on for a while and always after I ride. I'm in a lot of pain. At my age it shouldn't be like this. I have chronic tendinitis in my hip flexors, I've almost collapsed on my right knee a few times when it's bad, arches in my feet are collapsed, degenerative disks. My body's a mess. It is service related. 10mi hikes with 80+lb packs, insane PT sessions like spring carrying 45lb water jug up a steep 1/2mile steep hill, long distance runs in boots and utes on dry sand, etc. Dragging 180 lb guys, I don't remember it all but lots of stuff.

And he is a freak. Super long neck, very short back. Its not just the pictures.


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## Zexious

^Gator makes those cranky faces too--at pretty much everything. xD I'll have to get a picture sometime, but I have long since abandoned my "nice" (relatively speaking!) camera, and it's so hard to get action shots on the iPhone--everything just comes out so blurry. Perhaps when I upgrade one or the other!

Sounds like a pretty standard saddle fitting--saddle reps are certainly knowledgable people and it can be a fun experience! A nice saddle will last a lifetime and is definitely worth the investment. Plus, 'ya know, the bragging rights c; Just think how snazzy you'll look when you get around to showing!
I hear your frustrations--I can't recall whether or not you've read my journal thread but my life the past two years has really been nothing but setbacks. It helps, though, knowing that you'll reach your goals eventually! And when you are finally able to have a season, it'll be so worth it! I see lots of blues in your future :O!

I'm so sorry to hear about your ulcers. Is that something that's an easy fix?
Why can't our bodies be more like well oiled machines? Dx
When you say "PT" that's a military bootcamp/training thing, right? I'm not very well versed on the military, but wish I was!

Gator has a long neck as well--and I have stubby arms, makes for difficult Hunter classes haha!
But, real talk, I just can't get over how gorgeous Dante is. 
He reminds me of a horse who boarded at a stable with me well over a decade ago, now. I'd always gawk--he was such a handsome thing!


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## Rainaisabelle

DanteDressageNerd said:


> People will always give you their 2 cents whether you want it or not. Some of it is helpful, some of it is they really want to help and some of is they think belittling and putting someone else down will elevate them *shrugs* people. Honestly sometimes I want to tell them, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all if you're just going to be snarky and two faced.
> 
> Muscle and topline can be really hard to develop on tbs too. My old tb was hard to put weight and muscle on. He looked very streamlined and "eventer." It takes time and some horses are harder to put it on then others. Be proud of what you've accomplished and how far you've come together!
> 
> And Zexious- no issue. We all have trouble articulating our thoughts sometimes. And unfortunately didn't get to take pictures of the whole process, I was listening and learning and riding. I basically rode in a bunch of different saddles and after that she took measurements of Dante's back and marked it out in tape.
> 
> And yes he makes lots of crabby faces. After we were done, he had his head tilted to the side with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. He's a special cookie.
> __________________________________________________________
> 
> We're getting Dante a custom saddle. We're definitely not having a show season this year, I can't afford both. No way. I kinda want to cry because that's going to be 4300 dollars which is a LOT of money. I have it but that's just about what I paid for Dante. And I've been trying to have a show season for I think 8 or 9 years and it's just never worked out. I guess I'll sign up for summer classes if there is anything I can take because I've taken pretty much everything I'd need they offer over summer. But Dante has a TINY saddle placement, his shoulders come back pretty far and he has 17 vertebrae which angles up. So super small area. The tree will be built to fit Dante, his measurements were taken and I haven't said yes or given the money yet. I wanted to sleep on it before making a final decision. But we're not showing this season. I can't afford shows and this saddle. Just no way. It'll have the royale leather because if I get the platinum it's only an extra 100 and I like the royale better because I can get my leg closer (it's thinner leather). And with the platinum deep seat, it'll be an 18in short panel. SLK platinum ultima has the changeable head plate and panels if we had to, too. Especially because he needs custom it's cheaper to change that than buy a new saddle. If I went with standard (no platinum or changable stuff it'd be 3500). I would get a full refund if the saddle doesn't fit him exactly right. It takes about 8wks to get the saddle once they've been sent the information.
> 
> Im also pretty certain I'm developing stomach ulcers again :/ I've been good for 6yrs but I don't know what the deal is. My degenerative disk has given me SO much pain the last 2 days and the ulcer symptoms have been going on for a while and always after I ride. I'm in a lot of pain. At my age it shouldn't be like this. I have chronic tendinitis in my hip flexors, I've almost collapsed on my right knee a few times when it's bad, arches in my feet are collapsed, degenerative disks. My body's a mess. It is service related. 10mi hikes with 80+lb packs, insane PT sessions like spring carrying 45lb water jug up a steep 1/2mile steep hill, long distance runs in boots and utes on dry sand, etc. Dragging 180 lb guys, I don't remember it all but lots of stuff.
> 
> And he is a freak. Super long neck, very short back. Its not just the pictures.


Roy is surprisingly easy to keep weight on but muscle is hard !! I'm starting to ride/exercise him 4 days a week so hopefully we will be ready by August for the All breeds show. 


****** on the saddle! I was lucky to get Roys second hand and it fit perfectly as Peter horobin usually start at about $3000 and up!


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## whisperbaby22

Yea, I'm sorry the saddle will cost so much.


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## frlsgirl

Sorry that you are going through all that. Dealing with chronic pain is very draining; it just sucks the life and will power out of you. 

$4300 is actually not a bad price for a custom saddle; even though it is a LOT of money. I'm still making payments on my saddle if that makes you feel any better.

His overall confo doesn't look bad at all; you can tell that he's been worked correctly due to the muscle development; I especially like his booty; I'm hoping one day Ana's booty will look like Dante's.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Warning this got a lot longer than I meant it to be. 

Gator sounds adorable. I am not familiar with your journal. I try to keep up but it gets hard when there are quite a few to follow and real life lol. But if you have short arms and Gator has a long neck, you'll learn to work with what you have. We all have different builds and just have to work with what we have, the good and the bad. It sucks sometimes though.

For the most part it was a pretty standard fitting. And everything seemed similar to what I've experienced in the past. It just makes me SUPER nervous to look at having a custom built tree for Dante because what if it doesn't fit right and I just spent all that money? They don't always show that they're sore or it's a poor fit right away. I know it's worth it for Dante because he's so awkward to fit saddle wise. And definitely. I learn more each time I go through it. He was looked at by a friend originally in September then Debbie Witty (owner of trilogy saddles), then another fitter and the albion fitter. I've learned a lot about saddle fit from them. You learn a lot about the horse's back, spine, how to pad, what materials they like, etc. Dante for example hates foam saddles so no French/Italian saddles. We do wool flocked.

Ulcers is usually caused by a bacteria called H.pylori so triple antibiotic treatment for 3-4wks cured it for me the last time. I just want to avoid it because those antibiotics are powerful and made me feel pretty weak, fatigued and sick. It took me a while to recover from that treatment. I started to feel better after that treatment than after the antibiotics doing oregano oil and probiotics to get the gut flora healthy again. Note that was 6yrs ago. I don't know why it's "back" if it is ulcers. A lot of people probably have H.pylori in their system but it doesn't necessarily turn into ulcers. I don't know why it develops into ulcers in some people and not others.

And "PT" stands for physical training. I don't know about other branches of the military but Marines are known for having the most intense PT. It can be extremely intense and brutal, especially if it's a hazing-punishment style PT. I was at a detachment on an army base for a little while, so very old school Marine Corps. Like scrubbing toilets and walls with toothbrushes, grueling-hazing style PT. Field days that lasted until 3am (we were up by 430 or 5am), using q tips in the cracks of the wall to decide if we had to clean more. I wish I were exaggerating. They tore up my rack because I didn't have exactly 18 inches of white (I think it's 18, if I remember right). I'd take a ruler and measure it every morning :lol: I remember a few times where I'd come back after PT, I literally had sweated through every article of clothing and my whole body would start shaking, it took everything I had not to pass out. This was in Georgia during the summer. Literally you get pushed to a point where it's literally just will power pushing you threw because your body has given up :lol: I'm stubborn and really pretty pain tolerant, so I pushed through more than I should have.

I tried to ask another saddle fitters opinion but no response because it scares me to spend. I was sent the proper receipt this morning, if I do this it's going to come out to $4717.85 which is a lot of money. I don't like draining my savings account. That really upsets me. I was taught the value of a dollar when I was 3 years old. My family is German, so they're VERY frugal and stingy. I'm also dealing with health issues, I'm seeing an alternative medicine specialist I'm really interested in because I've dealt with the western way and no real answers, just oh you'll probably need surgery at some point and unfortunately your tendinitis is chronic and it's too deep for a laser to help you out. And I'm pretty sure it's ulcers, I haven't been scoped but I've had them before and I don't think it's a feeling you forget. And my car needs to be repaired too, hit a raccoon yesterday :-( I don't like hitting animals but there was no way I could have avoided him. So that needs repairs, I'm hoping I don't need new parts because it's a German car and that will be expensive.

And thank you  Dante thinks he's lovely and I think he's pretty handsome too:wink:
______________________

It can take a long time to put on the topline, be patient and Roy will definitely develop! And that's good you were able to find a good used saddle that fit both you and Roy! Definitely a good thing when you can find something that works out for you both!
______________________

And thanks. I know if could be a lot worse. It's not the end of the world but it's a lot of money and things. Health is VERY important to me, once that goes everything goes is how I look at it. I want to be healthy and thrive in my 50s.
______________________

And no health issues are definitely not fun. DO NOT TAKE GOOD HEALTH FOR GRANTED. And it really does when your hurting all the time. Pain wears you out and it makes normal routine life stuff difficult. Like cleaning litter boxes, doing laundry, sitting, it affects everything. Sunday morning I literally just popped ibuprofen, drank water and laid on the couch for a while. It hurt to move, sitting was awful. But ibuprofen helped.

I'm sorry youre still making payments on your saddle. Customs are expensive. The price including tax is 4717.85 so it kinda makes me feel better knowing it's a good price for the quality of saddle and a custom saddle. But sorry you're still paying for yours :-( it's never fun.

He's definitely not badly conformed. Just a little awkward. His neck is like a 16.2-3h horses neck and then his back the saddle fitter said would make since if he were a 14h pony and he's croup high, not as bad as last year but still croup high. We've put in a lot of work to get the musculature. His booty took a while. His booty is between the qh and arab but Ana will get her booty, it just takes time to develop. And thank you, his topline is a never ending project.

And Dante last year


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## Zexious

^Well, Gator and I successfully showed the A H/J circuit, so my short arms must not have been too much of a problem c; 
Unfortunately I've had some misfortunes of my own, and have not been in a position to ride for over two years now. 

I'm so sorry to hear about the raccoon incident--nothing quite like adding insult to injury v.v

When will you decide for sure whether or not you want to go through with the custom saddle purchase? Or have you already pretty much decided and are just a little bummed about the bottom line? Which I totally get--that definitely is no small purchase!

I can't believe how great Dante looks! I see so much improvement in his top line !:O


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- It very well could be.
> 
> But we have to be servants to support our Princesses!
> 
> Some horses are really deceptive. I know Bailey is 15h even and he's quite wide but you watch him go you'd have no idea he was such a little horse or that he was a qh. He looks like a mini warmblood. And definitely try whatever you can get your hands on and get an idea of what you really like or don't like and what Izzy likes or doesn't like. Best way to go.
> 
> lol that is true. There are days I wish I didn't have to make a choice and could just run away but never an option unfortunately :lol:
> 
> When we started doing it that way, I caught on pretty quick but it's definitely going to be something we'll probably expand upon next lesson tomorrow. We'll see. We're definitely being challenged and I think Pam is who we need to be trained with. It's very eye opening and makes me feel very small but in an enlightening way, not a demeaning way. Pam's not demeaning or belittling.
> 
> She kinda started it talking about well maybe Dante needs a different career and asked about what his brother does, etc. It was subtle but I know her really well and know what she was getting at. To her it's not that she doesn't love the horse's but she looks at it more from a business perspective. If you have a limited amount of resources, is it worth investing in the horse whose high maintenance, hard to ride/train and isn't going to get the marks of something that moves more fluid? Dante moves very up and down which is also why he's so bouncy. And realistically it's going to be a lot harder with Dante than something more fluid. He's not going to get the marks of a really supple, fancy warmblood. That's just realistic, even if I ride 10x better and ride my heart out and Dante gives everything he has, we won't get the same marks as someone who puts in a decent test and has a much higher quality horse. It's just how it is. You start with a 10 mover and move down from there, you start with a 7 mover and move down from there. Though there is a lady at my barn, whose a friend of mine and she almost has her silver medal on a paint/cob cross who is 14.3h *cross fingers* she earns it this summer. She's done an incredible job with him and is getting in the 60s at 4th and PSG on him which IMO is phenomenal and I know how much better she has to ride for those marks because it is a lot harder on a "plainer" horse than something that is naturally uphill, fluid, and has it. He's never going to be as impressive and it's not going to make me look "good" but that's not the point imo.
> 
> And me too I like the under dog or oddity. Even if I had all the money in the world, I think I'd want a really nice spanish horse because I think they're really neat and I like them.
> 
> I honestly don't think I could sell Dante. I think he'd feel really betrayed which may sound silly but animal do feel depression, anxiety, love and can have their feelings hurt. They have emotions. And I could see him getting passed around until he ends up in slaughter. And quite honestly I love him, he fits me and we have a really strong bond. He's my kid and I feel blessed to have him in my life. I don't think I could do that to him.
> 
> And it is because she is someone I really admire and look up to as a rider and other things.


Yes, servants to our princesses :lol:

Yeah, no one can peg her correctly. I've yet to meet someone who can :lol:

I think we all feel that way, haha!

That's a good plan! I'm sure you'll do great with being lighter 

I'm REALLY glad she changed her opinion on him. I really do think he's worth it. I know he's costing you a lot right now, but he is worth it!

I love being the underdog :lol: I don't know what I would get with a big budget. Really have no idea :lol:

As far as the saddle, that hurts... that's a big price tag! I'm sure you'll figure out what to do. Sorry my reply is short :lol: sneaking in a quick comment before bed, and I'll answer more tomorrow haha!

But Dante is really looking good!


----------



## DanteDressageNerd

Zexious- that's excellent that you Gator showed the A-shows, you should be very proud  though I'm sorry to hear you have not been able to ride in 2 years. 

It's alright. I usually don't hit animals but I've hit a squirrel and a raccoon this month. It makes me sad but at the same time, I don't feel terrible as long as they have a quick death. If they suffer I'd feel terrible.

I've decided to buy the saddle. I put in my 50% deposit last night after I talked to my trainer. I just wanted feedback from Pam C (a saddle fitter) and Pam my trainer before ordering the saddle. I also talked to the albion representative and asked well what if Dante widens by the time the saddle gets here in about 8-10wks and she said then we'll adjust it to fit Dante. It's also wool flocked, so you can make some minor adjustments that way.

And thank you. He was pretty baby and green last year. He was barely broke when I bought him. When I tried he could mostly steer and walk,trot, canter but then he had a month off and I got him and he had to be retaught about steering, going forward, etc. We had a lot of struggles. He's been very tricky to develop but a good challenge.

_______________

Katie- Yes we are. They're the Princesses of our lives and we love them enough to serve them graciously :lol:

lol I think horses can be deceptive when we see them go and it's a nice surprise they keep people guessing 

I think so. We've improved a lot in a few lessons. Still got some stuff to work through but I can definitely tell how much we're improving which is good. 

Oh me too! I think she actually likes Dante now that she sees how hard working, willing and dare I say obedient he can be. He's still opinionated but he's been really good and she said he has a nice canter which he really does. It's just funny because to start out it was definitely his worst gait. He cantered like a qh all forehand but big over step. I knew he had a nice canter in there, it'd just take time to really bring it out. It takes time to fix things like that. 

lol it's fun to surprise people and show what a non imported-fancy whatever can do. And no worries :lol:

It REALLY does but I think that's the only real solution for Dante with how short his back is. And again no worries, get some sleep, you've been really busy!

But thank you I'm pretty proud of him 
_____________

Short video from our lesson last night. Dante's been going 3 days in a row and been really good about everything. I'm proud of him. He seems really happy.

What we're addressing here, is making sure he is entirely off my outside rein. When she says don't pull on the inside, she means don't flex the fingers at all. He has to learn to carry himself between my inside leg and outside rein (still half halt the outside rein and core), even if he turn himself upside down. Wait it out and teach him that he must carry himself. This more towards the beginning of our lesson. It got a TON better. We had a LONG lesson but Dante never said no or he couldn't. He just kept trying which is something really good about him, he doesn't quit. There is nothing lazy about this horse. He was so tired and we did about a million canter transition (okay I was really tired too, it's hard to hold yourself together and half halt and do it all. So we literally would trot one step and up into canter, trot one step and up into canter until he really carried himself into it. 

It really made me aware how much I need to hold myself together, not in a forced-tight way but in a consistent, able to ride him more effectively kind of way. It was a very productive lesson.






After riding bareback for so long, I will really appreciate it when we get out saddle in 8-10wks *crossed fingers* I hope it's everything and more we ever wanted.

Pictures of Dante and 2 of my cat because I think she's really cute :lol:


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## Zexious

^I'm sure it says elsewhere in the thread (/shot) but what is your kitty's name?


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## Tazzie

Haha, yes. Someone told me yesterday they love how much I love and care for Izzie, and love the love we share. They are our babies 

Absolutely!

Improvement is always good! I'm glad it's going so well for you!

Good! He's a good boy. And he does try, which to me is very important. And he's probably as obedient as he will get :lol: but he's a good horse!

I'm glad you're getting the saddle, even though it means no show season. I hope he will be much happier.

You should be proud of him 

And sounds like a good lesson! He's looking good!


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## frlsgirl

Looking good; you can tell he's really trying. Also, I'm totally jelly of your braiding skillz - how do you do that so well? Do you stand up on a stool? Sit on his back? Mine always look lopsided and too loose. Maybe you can do a tutorial video for us?


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## DanteDressageNerd

I have 2 cats, Lyla and Athena. The gray one in the above pictures is Athena and the tabby one I'll post a few pics of is Lyla. We watch Quantum leap And do hw together

Awww I think though they are Princesses, they really bond to who they love. And we form a tight partnership with our babies 

Definitely!! He tries really-really hard which was the first thing I noticed when I tried him. He didn't quite understand and he wasn't sure about a lot, he didn't really have a canter button but he tried. The other thing I noticed was how intelligent and quick he was to pick up on new concepts. He didn't show any of the tude then but he listens and is very sensitive which is a plus. 

I am too. I choked spending that kind of money but I know it's what is best for Dante. There is just nothing standard about him, the odds of us finding a used saddle that has short panels and has all the right elements to fit his back is slim to none and I've been looking for weeks. So I think it's what is best for us, even though it's REALLY expensive. It has to have angled panels, they can't be flat or they bounce on his back, the channel has to be really with for the broadness of his withers and back. The billets need to be properly placed and have good shoulder panels with the curved tree or the saddle will fall on Dante's shoulders. And I need something that fits me too. You can make things work to about 1st level but when you do a lot of sitting trot and doing a lot of laterals, you really need a saddle that fits you well enough. It should be supportive without being restrictive. I've ridden in a lot of saddles that were awful but when it's your saddle on your horse, you want something you don't have to fight to ride properly in.

But thank you  it was a really good lesson. Pam understands the horse's really well and I think she understands Dante and what makes him tick. He always has his opinions and speaks his mind but as long as you're consistent, clear and very quiet he's a lot more reasonable. I think he gets upset when he gets confused and his efforts aren't redirected in a way that makes sense to him.

And thank you  he tried SO hard. I was so proud of him. I was absolutely exhausted doing those canter transitions, I can't imagine how exhausted Dante was but both of us did our best. I think we have the same work ethic. I was a working student and groom for 2 years, so I do have groomswoman skills lol. I also braid him pretty often, so I have a lot of practice doing a spanish 4 loop braid. I braid on a stool. Maybe I could do a tutorial sometime and show how I do it. I pull the braid tight each loop. And the part where his arab bridle path is growing in, after I braid that and get his long hairs in I band it so that part doesn't fall apart, then I finish braid down the rest of his neck.


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## Zexious

^Lyla is absolutely adorable <3 And Athena, too!
How old are they?

Horses definitely have personalities of their own--some want to have a discussion about what you're asking. Sounds like Dante! c:


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## Tazzie

We sure do 

I've always said I'd rather sacrifice some talent for more heart and try. I feel those horses you gain so much more from than just good scores. Intelligent is always good too!

Oh yeah, to fit the two of you hard to fit people, custom is really the only way to go. It'd have been a nightmare trying to find something, and I think it would have ended up in disappointment. I'm REALLY hoping this goes well for you!! I hope it's everything you could hope for and more!

He wouldn't be Dante if he didn't speak his mind :lol: I'm just hoping she's done with even hinting at a new horse. You two belong together.


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## Rainaisabelle

Sorry to be annoying but I wanted your opinions on gadgets such as side reins or Pessoas ?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Zexious said:


> ^Lyla is absolutely adorable <3 And Athena, too!
> How old are they?
> 
> Horses definitely have personalities of their own--some want to have a discussion about what you're asking. Sounds like Dante! c:


Athena is 8 and Lyla is 3. They're both really good girls. Lyla sometimes follows me around and sometimes comes when she's called. She's a pretty active little cat and Athena lays in my lap during HW sessions and often sleeps with me at night and will cuddle. Lyla likes being held but not cuddled.

And Dante definitely has an opinionated personality. Our vet calls him PrimaDante. He's very dramatic, he's gotten a LOT better as he's matured and become more schooled. He's improving every day











Tazzie said:


> We sure do
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I've always said I'd rather sacrifice some talent for more heart and try. I feel those horses you gain so much more from than just good scores. Intelligent is always good too!
> 
> Oh yeah, to fit the two of you hard to fit people, custom is really the only way to go. It'd have been a nightmare trying to find something, and I think it would have ended up in disappointment. I'm REALLY hoping this goes well for you!! I hope it's everything you could hope for and more!
> 
> He wouldn't be Dante if he didn't speak his mind
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'm just hoping she's done with even hinting at a new horse. You two belong together.


Absolutely. Work ethic was a big one for me. I'm not lazy and I can't stand riding a horse who doesn't want to do it or you feel like you have to make them work. Leo for example is incredibly talented but he has no desire to perform, so he'll never go past 2nd level. He just has no desire to do well. Dante might have an attitude but he doesn't say no unless he can't or doesn't understand or he's just ****ed off about something.

Dante and I are both hard to fit. I'm REALLY picky because I hate feeling trapped or stuck or unsupported in a saddle. If I feel like I have to brace to get my position or stay in balance, it's the wrong saddle. If I have to fight the saddle, it's a bad fit. Supportive but not restrictive. I can make myself ride in saddles that aren't a good fit but it's not productive when you're aiming for the upper levels and you need that support and ability to ride as precisely and accurately as possible. I'm REALLY hoping it turns out well too. I'm VERY frugal but practically so and don't like spending in excess of what is necessary. But Dante's a tough fit and after talking to everybody that sounds like our only option.

Me too. And thank you he's my kid, he picked me when I went to see him. First time I saw him, I had NO intention of buying him (I didn't want an Arab or something under 16h) but I wanted to ride so I was like okay I'll check out the barely broke 4yr old. Saw him move, I was like eh he's cute. Uses his hocks and hind end well. Qh downhill, all forehand canter but he used his hind end so sell at walk and trot and had plenty of jump behind and a 3 beat rhythm. I was like well that can be fixed but I still was like I'm not spending that on a baby quarab. Then my friends and I were loving on him in the arena and I walked off like I don't need this and he trotted up after me and stuck his head in my arms and I was like dam* it. I'll take him and the trainer was like don't you want to ride him first and I was like yeah and he felt like he had a ton of movement and ability. He didn't feel like a small horse, he didn't ride small. He was probably 15.1h at the time but tape measures are so inaccurate, the stock with level is accurate. He grew a couple inches since I bought him, actually has withers now and isn't so downhill. Pam said he wouldn't go past 3rd and his canter will be really hard to fix and might never fix but I was like well I'm buying him anyway. And now I don't think anyone doubts he has upper level potential. Just gotta get there. Make my school master lol. Won't be showing this year, so next year we'll get our 1st level scores and hopefully our 2nd level scores towards a bronze medal. And maybe break into 3rd at the end of next year's show season, if he's ready. Pam will tell us what we're ready for. She doesn't rush horses up the levels or push people/horses into stuff they're not ready for. I'm kinda excited about that possibility, I've been trying to have a show season for 9 years. I'm hoping year 10 will be our time lol.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Rainaisabelle said:


> Sorry to be annoying but I wanted your opinions on gadgets such as side reins or Pessoas ?


I havent used the pessoa system but I'm fine with using side reins to lunge in as long as they're an appropriate length, not too long or too short. I actually lunge Dante and use his reins as side reins by tieing them to the billets of the bareback pad. I like it better than side reins because they dont swing or weigh as much as side reins. I lunge him before I ride bareback to warm his back up, he gets mad if I post too much bareback. I never use them right, they aren't loose but they need to be long enough for the horse to work into. They should not pull their head back. It's all in how you use them. And you're not annoying. No worries.

I think lunging in side reins helps with balance and helps teach them to work into a contact and organize themselves without having to worry about balancing a rider. But they need to work forward into it and it may be helpful to take a lesson on lunging and learn how to leg yield, monitor Roy's balance. The appropriate length, how to introduce them, etc. We usually lunge the babies before we ever get on them in side reins for a little while. It helps a lot with their balance, learning to accept rein contact and learn basic things from the ground. It helps so much with balance. Some of those babies are so a symmetrical when they first come out of a field. They can't bend both ways or organize their legs. It helps.


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## Rainaisabelle

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Rainaisabelle said:
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry to be annoying but I wanted your opinions on gadgets such as side reins or Pessoas ?
> 
> 
> 
> I havent used the pessoa system but I'm fine with using side reins to lunge in as long as they're an appropriate length, not too long or too short. I actually lunge Dante and use his reins as side reins by tieing them to the billets of the bareback pad. I like it better than side reins because they dont swing or weigh as much as side reins. I lunge him before I ride bareback to warm his back up, he gets mad if I post too much bareback. I never use them right, they aren't loose but they need to be long enough for the horse to work into. They should not pull their head back. It's all in how you use them. And you're not annoying. No worries.
> 
> I think lunging in side reins helps with balance and helps teach them to work into a contact and organize themselves without having to worry about balancing a rider. But they need to work forward into it and it may be helpful to take a lesson on lunging and learn how to leg yield, monitor Roy's balance. The appropriate length, how to introduce them, etc. We usually lunge the babies before we ever get on them in side reins for a little while. It helps a lot with their balance, learning to accept rein contact and learn basic things from the ground. It helps so much with balance. Some of those babies are so a symmetrical when they first come out of a field. They can't bend both ways or organize their legs. It helps.
Click to expand...

I have lunged him in side reins before and a friend of mine who is very experienced also lunged him in side reins but it has been a while. My worry is I'm not doing enough !


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## DanteDressageNerd

Take your time and be patient. You can lunge in side reins but set them so he can reach into them, 3 inches shorter on the inside than on the outside. 

Last night had a lesson. Started out really well but then Dante had a meltdown. Like I half halt he threw his head back and twisted his head, if I asked him to move forward he bucked. We didn't pressure him. I got off because he was being so funny. We're going to put him on robaxin for 2 weeks and see if we can get his muscles to relax. I think the other reason is for the last 2 days he hasn't been able to be out much and he's always on the "hostile" end when he hasn't been able to be out. Poor guy, we think he has some deep tissue sore muscles. And unfortunately he's not exactly stoic. Very sensitive horse. That's the one thing I learned is the extent of how sensitive he is. When we were going and he was going well, he's so sensitive. If I'm not 100% focused, he doesn't try at all or if I get at all higher energy or flustered or anxious he gets really hot. Just relax, refocus the energy and keep him working. He picks up on things you wouldn't notice, very subtle. It brings a new form of awareness which is pretty cool. But with the meltdown, there was no riding through that. He was saying something hurts.

I've really retrogressed socially, I just couldn't properly make eye contact for conversations at all. It's not a good thing. I was doing really well when I was in the Marines. I had the assertiveness and force of character that made people listen.

Few pictures from last night. Dante kept looking for trouble, he was trying to mess with the electrical circuits, pulled off Bailey's bell boots and while I cleaned his feet I turned around for 2 seconds he has the telephone wires in his mouth :-/ he's a trouble maker.


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## Rainaisabelle

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Take your time and be patient. You can lunge in side reins but set them so he can reach into them, 3 inches shorter on the inside than on the outside.
> 
> Last night had a lesson. Started out really well but then Dante had a meltdown. Like I half halt he threw his head back and twisted his head, if I asked him to move forward he bucked. We didn't pressure him. I got off because he was being so funny. We're going to put him on robaxin for 2 weeks and see if we can get his muscles to relax. I think the other reason is for the last 2 days he hasn't been able to be out much and he's always on the "hostile" end when he hasn't been able to be out. Poor guy, we think he has some deep tissue sore muscles. And unfortunately he's not exactly stoic. Very sensitive horse. That's the one thing I learned is the extent of how sensitive he is. When we were going and he was going well, he's so sensitive. If I'm not 100% focused, he doesn't try at all or if I get at all higher energy or flustered or anxious he gets really hot. Just relax, refocus the energy and keep him working. He picks up on things you wouldn't notice, very subtle. It brings a new form of awareness which is pretty cool. But with the meltdown, there was no riding through that. He was saying something hurts.
> 
> I've really retrogressed socially, I just couldn't properly make eye contact for conversations at all. It's not a good thing. I was doing really well when I was in the Marines. I had the assertiveness and force of character that made people listen.
> 
> Few pictures from last night. Dante kept looking for trouble, he was trying to mess with the electrical circuits, pulled off Bailey's bell boots and while I cleaned his feet I turned around for 2 seconds he has the telephone wires in his mouth :-/ he's a trouble maker.


Dante is such a character I love reading his updates! I can't see the pictures though :/ I find it hard to make eye contact with people it's like they're looking deep into my mind Lol! To be honest I always think of wolves when someone stares me down. The one who looks away first is the beta 

Roy had some muscle issues when I first got him, not sure if you've seen those photos but believe it or not the owner was still riding him in that condition. Poor guy :/ couldn't brush him for ages.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Absolutely. Work ethic was a big one for me. I'm not lazy and I can't stand riding a horse who doesn't want to do it or you feel like you have to make them work. Leo for example is incredibly talented but he has no desire to perform, so he'll never go past 2nd level. He just has no desire to do well. Dante might have an attitude but he doesn't say no unless he can't or doesn't understand or he's just ****ed off about something.
> 
> Dante and I are both hard to fit. I'm REALLY picky because I hate feeling trapped or stuck or unsupported in a saddle. If I feel like I have to brace to get my position or stay in balance, it's the wrong saddle. If I have to fight the saddle, it's a bad fit. Supportive but not restrictive. I can make myself ride in saddles that aren't a good fit but it's not productive when you're aiming for the upper levels and you need that support and ability to ride as precisely and accurately as possible. I'm REALLY hoping it turns out well too. I'm VERY frugal but practically so and don't like spending in excess of what is necessary. But Dante's a tough fit and after talking to everybody that sounds like our only option.
> 
> Me too. And thank you he's my kid, he picked me when I went to see him. First time I saw him, I had NO intention of buying him (I didn't want an Arab or something under 16h) but I wanted to ride so I was like okay I'll check out the barely broke 4yr old. Saw him move, I was like eh he's cute. Uses his hocks and hind end well. Qh downhill, all forehand canter but he used his hind end so sell at walk and trot and had plenty of jump behind and a 3 beat rhythm. I was like well that can be fixed but I still was like I'm not spending that on a baby quarab. Then my friends and I were loving on him in the arena and I walked off like I don't need this and he trotted up after me and stuck his head in my arms and I was like dam* it. I'll take him and the trainer was like don't you want to ride him first and I was like yeah and he felt like he had a ton of movement and ability. He didn't feel like a small horse, he didn't ride small. He was probably 15.1h at the time but tape measures are so inaccurate, the stock with level is accurate. He grew a couple inches since I bought him, actually has withers now and isn't so downhill. Pam said he wouldn't go past 3rd and his canter will be really hard to fix and might never fix but I was like well I'm buying him anyway. And now I don't think anyone doubts he has upper level potential. Just gotta get there. Make my school master lol. Won't be showing this year, so next year we'll get our 1st level scores and hopefully our 2nd level scores towards a bronze medal. And maybe break into 3rd at the end of next year's show season, if he's ready. Pam will tell us what we're ready for. She doesn't rush horses up the levels or push people/horses into stuff they're not ready for. I'm kinda excited about that possibility, I've been trying to have a show season for 9 years. I'm hoping year 10 will be our time lol.


Yup, I've ridden some nice horses that it was all you could do to keep him forward. Nice horse, but wasn't about to make it far. Dante, though full of attitude, will make it purely because he wants a job and he (mostly) wants to work. He can be a good boy lol

I totally get it. I think it'll be worth the money to have a saddle that will fit you both well and fit your needs. Good thing to have.

Haha, yeah, he chose you, and you weren't leaving without him :lol: they do become our kids 

Sorry to hear he was ouchy last night :sad: hopefully you can resolve it. And he is such a character! I love the pictures! Such a goofball


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## DanteDressageNerd

Rainaisabelle said:


> DanteDressageNerd said:
> 
> 
> 
> Take your time and be patient. You can lunge in side reins but set them so he can reach into them, 3 inches shorter on the inside than on the outside.
> 
> Last night had a lesson. Started out really well but then Dante had a meltdown. Like I half halt he threw his head back and twisted his head, if I asked him to move forward he bucked. We didn't pressure him. I got off because he was being so funny. We're going to put him on robaxin for 2 weeks and see if we can get his muscles to relax. I think the other reason is for the last 2 days he hasn't been able to be out much and he's always on the "hostile" end when he hasn't been able to be out. Poor guy, we think he has some deep tissue sore muscles. And unfortunately he's not exactly stoic. Very sensitive horse. That's the one thing I learned is the extent of how sensitive he is. When we were going and he was going well, he's so sensitive. If I'm not 100% focused, he doesn't try at all or if I get at all higher energy or flustered or anxious he gets really hot. Just relax, refocus the energy and keep him working. He picks up on things you wouldn't notice, very subtle. It brings a new form of awareness which is pretty cool. But with the meltdown, there was no riding through that. He was saying something hurts.
> 
> I've really retrogressed socially, I just couldn't properly make eye contact for conversations at all. It's not a good thing. I was doing really well when I was in the Marines. I had the assertiveness and force of character that made people listen.
> 
> Few pictures from last night. Dante kept looking for trouble, he was trying to mess with the electrical circuits, pulled off Bailey's bell boots and while I cleaned his feet I turned around for 2 seconds he has the telephone wires in his mouth :-/ he's a trouble maker.
> 
> 
> 
> Dante is such a character I love reading his updates! I can't see the pictures though :/ I find it hard to make eye contact with people it's like they're looking deep into my mind Lol! To be honest I always think of wolves when someone stares me down. The one who looks away first is the beta
> 
> Roy had some muscle issues when I first got him, not sure if you've seen those photos but believe it or not the owner was still riding him in that condition. Poor guy :/ couldn't brush him for ages.
Click to expand...

Dante is a special little guy. Pam and I are in agreement, Dante is extremely lucky he came to me and is at this barn. Most dressage places or actually most trainers wouldn't put up with him or take the time to figure out what's going on or try to understand him. I think he'd be something that would get passed around until he was sold to auction because he's so particular about things and if it isn't that way he can act up pretty strongly or if he knows he has the opportunity to do as he pleases, he does just that. 

But I know what you mean about eye contact. The wolf analogy is really neat and very true with some individuals, it definitely felt that way in the Marines. I used to give hr+ long briefs or presentations and I used to have to talk to the higher ups like the Sgt Major, XO and Co alot so I had to present myself as confident, competent and have something distinct in me that made them listen. Women Marines have to be authoritative to be heard and seen. My voice and presence can be very imposing which is good as a Marine, intimidating as a civilian. Especially because most civilians aren't used to that kind of intensity, especially from a female. But I have aspergers or ASD and it's always something I have to be mindful of. My mannerisms, how I talk, what I say, being careful to have enough eye contact but not too much or too little. That's how it was before I knew I had it but it's always been a struggle for me. I'm not scared of eye contact, just I tend to get passionate when I'm speaking and try not to be intimidating or I can't figure out how long to hold eye contact for because I don't want to be too intense. It's okay as a Marine or in professional situations but not okay talking to a person or social situations. I haven't been socializing as much so it's more forced or harder for me to navigate correctly if that makes sense? I don't know you just have to think a lot when socializing, it's exhausting because you're watching, listening and reading or learning to read/pick up on cues.

That's really sad. Poor Roy :-( he's lucky to have you as his mommy and having you care and love him as much as you do. He'll get there muscle wise, it takes a lot of time and so far you're doing a good job looking after his weight first. If he's been severely malnourished, it definitely takes time! It can take years sometimes depending on how poor their condition was and how long they were in that condition. Not everyone is going to understand that though.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> DanteDressageNerd said:
> 
> 
> 
> Absolutely. Work ethic was a big one for me. I'm not lazy and I can't stand riding a horse who doesn't want to do it or you feel like you have to make them work. Leo for example is incredibly talented but he has no desire to perform, so he'll never go past 2nd level. He just has no desire to do well. Dante might have an attitude but he doesn't say no unless he can't or doesn't understand or he's just ****ed off about something.
> 
> Dante and I are both hard to fit. I'm REALLY picky because I hate feeling trapped or stuck or unsupported in a saddle. If I feel like I have to brace to get my position or stay in balance, it's the wrong saddle. If I have to fight the saddle, it's a bad fit. Supportive but not restrictive. I can make myself ride in saddles that aren't a good fit but it's not productive when you're aiming for the upper levels and you need that support and ability to ride as precisely and accurately as possible. I'm REALLY hoping it turns out well too. I'm VERY frugal but practically so and don't like spending in excess of what is necessary. But Dante's a tough fit and after talking to everybody that sounds like our only option.
> 
> Me too. And thank you he's my kid, he picked me when I went to see him. First time I saw him, I had NO intention of buying him (I didn't want an Arab or something under 16h) but I wanted to ride so I was like okay I'll check out the barely broke 4yr old. Saw him move, I was like eh he's cute. Uses his hocks and hind end well. Qh downhill, all forehand canter but he used his hind end so sell at walk and trot and had plenty of jump behind and a 3 beat rhythm. I was like well that can be fixed but I still was like I'm not spending that on a baby quarab. Then my friends and I were loving on him in the arena and I walked off like I don't need this and he trotted up after me and stuck his head in my arms and I was like dam* it. I'll take him and the trainer was like don't you want to ride him first and I was like yeah and he felt like he had a ton of movement and ability. He didn't feel like a small horse, he didn't ride small. He was probably 15.1h at the time but tape measures are so inaccurate, the stock with level is accurate. He grew a couple inches since I bought him, actually has withers now and isn't so downhill. Pam said he wouldn't go past 3rd and his canter will be really hard to fix and might never fix but I was like well I'm buying him anyway. And now I don't think anyone doubts he has upper level potential. Just gotta get there. Make my school master lol. Won't be showing this year, so next year we'll get our 1st level scores and hopefully our 2nd level scores towards a bronze medal. And maybe break into 3rd at the end of next year's show season, if he's ready. Pam will tell us what we're ready for. She doesn't rush horses up the levels or push people/horses into stuff they're not ready for. I'm kinda excited about that possibility, I've been trying to have a show season for 9 years. I'm hoping year 10 will be our time lol.
> 
> 
> 
> Yup, I've ridden some nice horses that it was all you could do to keep him forward. Nice horse, but wasn't about to make it far. Dante, though full of attitude, will make it purely because he wants a job and he (mostly) wants to work. He can be a good boy lol
> 
> I totally get it. I think it'll be worth the money to have a saddle that will fit you both well and fit your needs. Good thing to have.
> 
> Haha, yeah, he chose you, and you weren't leaving without him
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> they do become our kids
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry to hear he was ouchy last night
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> hopefully you can resolve it. And he is such a character! I love the pictures! Such a goofball
Click to expand...

Exactly. It's no fun when you have to make them do it. And Dante can definitely be good, he can be very naughty too but in general he NEEDS a job. He'd be miserable without a job. He gets bored and causes mischief. 

I'm REALLY nervous about the saddle fitting him right. I think he's going to change shape and get wider which I asked the fitter about it and she said, if that's the case we'll adjust it to fit him when it gets here. I just wonder if I should have had him fitted in a few weeks but too late now. It has the platinum system so the head plate and panels are adjustable. And if that happens it SHOULDNT cost me extra to have it fitted but next time it will. It's 1000 to have the head plate and panels changed out. I just pray this saddle works for us for the next 20 years.

Yes he did. I think that's part of why I got the deal on him I did. The trainer O bought him from makes a good home a priority when she sells horses. I think he knew lol. Pam and I discussed this last night, Dante is incredibly lucky he ended up with me. Very very few people would put up with all his quirks and idiosyncrasies and channel them in a positive way by understanding him. He reacts incredibly poorly of he thinks the rider is unfair or he doesn't think the rider knows what they're doing. Whatever he can get away with, he will. Most trainers and show barns wouldnt tolerate him. But hes with Pam and I, so hes in good hands. I was tense and anxious for a moment yesterday, like a passing thought moment and he instantly got super hot like hot-hot but as soon as I calmed, relaxed and focused he calmed. He was a good boy until the walk break and we tried to pick him up again. Just not something you can work through. Pam agreed I was very subtle and correct in my aids, he just probably has something hurting. But they really do become our kids and so special to us. We know them so well.

It's okay. Hopefully the robaxin will help him out and help his muscles to relax. It helps treat muscles that are too deep to reach through massage. And yes he is. I joke he has ADHD because he has no focus on his own, just always getting into something. When he had the telephone wire in his mouth, I did the mom voice "Dante!" And he slowly opened his mouth to drop it, he SO knew lol. He also took a bucket and hit me with it because I was cleaning out his feet and not paying attention to him. Or in the cross ties he's always mouthing something. And if I leave him alone for too long he screams at me like MOM!!! I was so lonely, don't do that again. He's just interested in everything. It amazes me because he's actually quite a bit like me or so it keeps getting pointed out to me lol.


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## Tazzie

Definitely needs his brain exercised to keep him happy. I think a lot of horses have their naughty moments; Dante just likes to show his in random ways :lol:

I really hope it works long term! So this fitting would essentially be included, right? When it comes back since you had concerns? I sure hope so. That's a lot to have that changed out. Hopefully that won't be needed... Let's hope this is the last saddle you have to buy...

He is definitely very lucky to have you. He could have been downright dangerous with someone else. And certainly not enjoy the lifestyle he has now.

I sure hope it works. He needs to catch a break :sad: and I knew a horse that used to hold the end of his leadrope in the crossties, kind of like a binkie. Dove for his bridle because he wanted the bit in his mouth, and was super pumped when they started him in the double. He was a weird horse :lol: (that was the Jazz gelding; so weird) and he knows when he's naughty :lol: naughty Dante! He just couldn't help it :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Definitely. He's sort of cheeky :lol: if there is something to mess with, he will find it. 

I do too. I'm scared spending all that money. And yes, if it doesn't fit when it shows up, whatever has to be changed is supposed to be free because it's the fitters job to make sure the saddle fits and the measurements are taken correctly. I REALLY hope this is the last saddle I buy or I will cry. I don't gamble for a reason, I pinch pennies and I'm one of those people who will lie awake at night for spending in excess of what I actually need :lol: I think everything will be okay but I'm still nervous/anxious because it is a gamble.

Thank you. He's my kid, I love him as is especially because he is special lol. But no I'm pretty sure he would have been too. He's not mean but he has a strong sense of self preservation and doesn't like being uncomfortable. He needs to be understood and treated respectfully and not as a "beast of burden."

Me too. We're always trying something. He saw the chiropractor on Tuesday and massage and whatever it is he needs. EPM treatment, etc. And no he really can't help it. Last year he got sprayed in the face by a spunk. I already know he just goes looking for trouble. He's interested in things. It's like having a toddler :lol: can I stick it in my mouth? Can I play with it? Can I make sure mom sees me doing this?

lol I am not surprised if he was a Jazz horse. Dutch horses are just odd, they march to a different beat of a different drum. He sounds like he was quite special lol loved his double bridle?

I only lunged Dante today to try to help loosen up his muscles. I signed up for one day of the clinic this weekend. I have to wear my tall boots which I HATE riding in bareback. Hopefully Dante will be happy. He gets a back massage and bath tomorrow. Full royal treatment.

Kinda sad news. Debbie, a good friend of mine (she's older) broke her hip the other day :-( she just recovered after breaking her leg (femur went through her knee cap) and starting riding again and before that she has sepsis and almost died. She's also had a brain tumor and has had a ton of health problems. She is one of the kindest, sweetest, most wonderful people I have ever met. It's terribly unfair. I don't get it. I don't believe in karma anymore. She a vibrant, highly intelligent, kind and generous person. She's very independent too, I just started tearing up when they told me. She has a good sense of humor but she just got back to riding after months of not being able to ride.

Then Dante's I want a banana face.


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## Skyseternalangel

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee he's so precious!!!!!!!!

I need to get photos of Sky's apple and peppermint face


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## Zexious

I'm so sorry to hear about the woman at your barn--I know from personal experience how sucky it is to go through procedure after procedure. I hope there are clear skies ahead of her!

Dante's banana face... adorbs! xD I used to ride a jumper who loved banana flavored popsicles.


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## Tazzie

Haha, naturally! Stuff is there to play with, right? :lol:

It is a gamble, but I do hope it pays off. It is a lot of money, but you could also just keep buying saddle after saddle trying to find one that will work long term. Hopefully, this one will work long term.

Yes, that is exactly how a toddler is! They want to touch everything, investigate everything, and taste everything. Eww about the skunk though! That was probably not fun cleaning off!

Yup, the double bridle. There were TWO bits to put in his mouth. When you took the bridle off, he always had to keep the bits in his mouth for a few seconds longer, just to play with them. Only when he was done could you hang the bridle up. He was something else :lol:

Hopefully he is feeling a lot better!! Definitely got the royal treatment!

I'm sorry about your friend :sad: that is a tough road to travel in general. How did she break her hip? The leg sounded terrible!!

Those pictures are SO cute though!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. I think he's pretty cute :lol: and you should. Everyone enjoys seeing a happy horse face!

I wish Debbie has things run more smoothly. She's an amazing, genuinely wonderful person. I've known her for 8 years and she's helped me in so many ways. She owns Bailey. She's struggled in SO many ways normal people don't. Riding wise because of the brain tumor and she's VERY analytical. Like she did assembly language computer programming in the 70s. So she's struggled more than any rider I've ever seen and she's somehow come above it and was showing training with scores in the high 60s last year. Her dream was to ride Bailey and for years she never thought she could because his back is very sensitive and 2yrs ago she got to start riding him, I cried when I saw her ride Bailey because I knew how much it meant to her and she looked so happy.
_______________________________

But of course? What else are you supposed to do with the wires sticking out of the wall?

I hope so. I'm just nervous. It's supposed to be guarenteed to fit or I can turn it away but I REALLY want it to fit. I don't want to be bareback forever. I miss riding Dante in a saddle, especially when he acts up and wants to have a tantrum because he doesn't feel like participating. 

:lol: toddlers sound fun. Turn around for 2 seconds and something else, you didn't even know was there is in their mouth and they start playing with it. I'm sure Dante was like that's an odd cat and followed it with his nose to the ground and it felt threatened :lol: I went home to Oregon that week, so I didn't have to clean him but I did get to see him with he still stunk lol.

That's hilarious! There are some really odd character, dutch horses are just odd in my experience and Jazz horses doubly so. That's funny though. Dante usually holds onto the bit a few seconds and sometimes I have to wrestle it away from him. He thinks it's a game but he doesn't suck on it like a binkie.

I hope so. I ran out of time for the royal treatment today but before the clinic ride he's getting it. Plus after his treatment we're putting basically a horsey frontline on him because he is a tick magnet. I pulled at least 5 ticks off of him today and he has marks all of his legs, tail, and mane from those awful creatures. I HATE ticks and the horsey frontline stuff is supposed to help with ticks.

She broke her hip going on a walk to get her mail :-( same leg she had the leg injury on. She has such weird stuff happen to her. I don't get it. 

But thank you :lol: they make me happy.

______________________________________________

Light ride on Dante today. Tomorrow we're riding in the clinic bareback. I rode him boots and spurs. I'm always riding him in spurs. I didn't need to touch him, just have them and he was like oh yeah I can leg yield. Just position and keep his shoulders straighter and there he went. But we had a come to Jesus moment, I think Dante thought he got away with something last ride so he tried to rear, buck and toss his head like vertically up trying to hit me in the face with his head twisted (don't ask, I don't know). So I was like yeah no, we're not doing that crap. You don't have a new trick, so I just rode him through it. You have to be careful with him like that, it's like disabling a bomb. You have to make him get over himself but at the same time be very careful and tactful or he explodes. He threatens but he acts on them too and you can't back off when he threatens or he thinks he has a new trick or gets more confident about it and goes bigger next time but you can't press it too much if that makes sense? Just kinda like Dante you're fine, get over yourself. I lunged you first and you were fine. He's just Dante. He's a very special cookie. He can be super hot/spooky to hostile, beligerent, trying to throw a tantrum or pick a fight and you can't really take it personally. Just no, this is what we're doing and being systematic about it. No you don't buck, no you don't rear, no you don't try to hit me in the face, just go forward, on the bit and go. Then he was pretty good. His canter was really good. Trot shoulder in was really good, leg yielding was good. We kept it simple and as soon as we could transition from walk to trot without him throwing a fit, I was like that's all I really wanted. I talked to Pam about it too and she agreed with how I handled it. He's tricky. Sometimes when he's really good for a bit, I think oh he's not that bad and he's really not a bad horse but it reminds me how quickly things can escalate with him and why it's so important to keep on top of him. I don't get anxious or nervous about any of it or he's way worse, just neutral we're working and being systematic about my expectation. 

Went to dinner with Pam and Devon and listened to them talk about horse/Florida/CDI's and things. Really neat to hear about that world with the elite top riders and their horses. A lot of those top horses are incredible quirky and the really special international GP horses tends to be kinda crazy but they're so talented, they're fortunate enough to get with the right trainers/riders and be successful. I can't imagine having the skills to ride Escolar or Imperio or some of those really incredible horses. Escolar I saw in Germany when he was a young horse. That horse was phenomenal but no way I would EVER want to ride him. Hubertus Schmitt felt like his life was in danger riding him and he's an incredibly amazing GP/olympic rider and German riding master. And how sensitive and quirky they can be, it's just interesting and kinda transforms you to another world. I'll never be a part of that but it's neat.

I probably wont be on tomorrow. Tomorrow is just BUSY BUSY BUSY. GO GO GO.


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## Tazzie

I totally understand being nervous. I really hope this is the final saddle for you!! And no, definitely don't want to be bareback forever.

Haha, they can be. They can also take away whatever sanity you thought you still had :lol: they can find ANYTHING, including the smallest piece of something in the carpet. It's a talent really... You lucked out not needing to clean him then! I could see how it could happen though.

Yeah, Omega was a character. Everything was a binkie to him. But bits were his favorite. Absolute loon.

You'll have to let me know how it works. Izzie gets them all the dang time too, just didn't know what we could use to help out. We just pulled one off of her yesterday, and at least 2 or 3 before the show. I HATE ticks. I make Nick pull them off :lol: so something that could prevent them would be awesome!

Wow, that is a freaky accident :sad: is she on any calcium pills or something? If she is taking calcium, she needs to be on magnesium as well (magnesium aids in the absorption of calcium). I'd be trying anything to help her bones out :/

I'm glad you guys worked through it! And I definitely support just ending on a good note instead of pushing through and asking for more. I feel it's always better to end on a good note after such a bad beginning than to push and see what else you can get.

I hope the clinic goes well!! I understand being busy all day, but I'll be excited to hear how it went!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Me too and definitely ready to have a saddle again. Bareback has it's ups but you cant get the same kind of movement from a horse bareback that you can in a saddle. You just can't use yourself the same and it's really hard when you're developing a younger horse who is learning about taking weight behind and developing collection, etc because you can't use your seat and legs the same way. It reduces your effectiveness if that makes sense?

lol I ABSOLUTELY believe it. I hope I'll be lucky enough to experience that someday :lol: I love kids. Yesterday Ella (my trainer's niece) and I spent some time together, when she left she gave me a hug and said thank you. She's a really sweet, very considerate young girl. She's 5 (I know not a toddler) but her little brother is a good kid too. As a toddler he'd always find things to stick in his mouth or cover his face with lol. They're great kids. lol but I've seen the ugly tantrums too and the non stop question of why, why, why lol. They're fairly literal and logical really lol. And yes it is a talent lol.

I bathed him yesterday. Devon petted him and was impressed by how soft he is. I was like I was a groom/working student I have tricks lol. I was a working student/groom for 2 years lol, it comes in handy for turnout of horses and speed of getting horses ready, as well as super sneaky grooms skills lol. Lots of tricks.

Omega sounds like he was special. I already knew with the word Dutch and Jazz lol They're never normal. Jazz horses are exceptionally special :lol:

Pam has this horsey frontline stuff I'm going to try on him. I HOPE it works. I heard you have to rotate which ones you use as well. I'll let you know how it works. None of the other horses have been getting ticks like Dante. I don't know why that is but they're awful creatures. I don't like killing anything but when they did it makes me happy. I hate ticks, disgusting, vile, awful, destructive creatures that cause misery and spread disease.

Debbie always has freaky accidents happen to her for some reason. I have NO idea why. She's such a genuinely kind, sweet person who is good to absolutely everyone. Her husband is an equally good man. He is SO good to her. He's a former Marine as well. I have no idea what she takes but I know she's a thinner woman but her bone density scan came back good. She's about 5'8 maybe 125-130lbs and older. And she eats healthy/takes good care of herself. Was doing yoga type stuff and had an exercise trainer too.

We did for that ride but for the clinic he still had a few tantrums but Devon was great worked us through it. And exactly I just want cooperative but I don't like being greedy about it.

It was a REALLY busy day. Just go-go-go lol. 
_________________________________ 

The clinic went really well. I got to watch a few rides. Dante was Dante, so into the trot transition he was being a butt. You can't "make him" get over it, just gotta keep sending him forward and once he's forward enough half halt him back onto the bit and get him forward. I asked my trainer about it and she said Cassie I think your horse is just weird. There is NO reason for it. He didn't feel like he's in pain. He's sound. I don't know what his deal is. He's just Dante and talking to Devon about horses, it sounds like a lot of those top horses are a lot like him. Devon seemed to really like him, she said that's what's going to make him a good dressage horse. He's going to be impressive, people will notice him. She said bronze and silver medal is a very realistic goal on him and doesn't see anything that will get in the way of that goal. She said I have a really good seat, she said no matter what he does I'm just there in perfect balance with him. She seemed really impressed with us which really felt good to have someone like Devon believe in us :lol: she honestly seemed impressed. And liked Dante and his quirkiness. She's used to quirky, he's mild compared to what she rides. She said the great horses people really want to watch are the unpredictable ones people really want to watch. She said there are plenty of horses like him in Fl that do well (not fancy). 

Bareback lesson. Not a lot of video and unfortunately there was nothing of the canter work, Pam had stuff to do so I'm lucky I got any video at all. The canter felt really good!






earlier portion






And this is Devon riding. She's phenomenal. I got to watch her ride a few horses and was just in awe. Her mentor/trainer is Hubertus Schmidt who I've been a huge fan of since I started dressage. She actually grew up riding ranch quarter horses and paints. Her parents owned a ranch in Texas. I'm not sure how she got into dressage but I'm glad she did. She's a really nice, down to earth person.






And this is Hubertus riding Escolar who I knew as a young horse. He's dangerous but phenomenally talented. When I watched him go as a 3r old i thought my God he's phenomenal but I would NEVER want to ride that. He was so strong and he broke his rider's hand. I remember when he'd come through they'd announce Escolar coming through, so everyone could get out of the way and he was handled by top German stallion handlers. 






And Imperio who is EXTREMELY hot. I love this horse. I've been following him since he was a youngster with Anna Sophie Fiebelkorn (whose another favorite rider of mine).


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## Rainaisabelle

Glad your clinic went so well! I love your horse he's such a character!!

I have another question sorry lol!


Is foam on the bit a good thing?


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## Zexious

^Foaming is common particularly in dressage due to the frame. 
"This action of the forehand into the neck cause the salivary glands to stimulate and produce more saliva, which then runs down into the mouth and is foamed by the movement of the lips and jaw. "

Wow! What stunning photos of Dante! I'm so pleased to hear the clinic went well <3


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## Rainaisabelle

Zexious said:


> ^Foaming is common particularly in dressage due to the frame.
> "This action of the forehand into the neck cause the salivary glands to stimulate and produce more saliva, which then runs down into the mouth and is foamed by the movement of the lips and jaw. "
> 
> Wow! What stunning photos of Dante! I'm so pleased to hear the clinic went well <3


So not good.... Sorry 3am simple answers work best lol


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. Dante's a special cookie. It makes him tricky/hard to ride and sometimes very frustrating but it also makes him who he is. He's my baby. I was calling him a good boy and one of the girls at the barn was like Cass I wouldn't go that far. He's not a horse most riders could ride well. He can be dangerous when he's having a fit but if you're quiet, tactful and ride him through it he moves on. You just can't pressure him, just encourage and direct and sometimes be assertive and let him know he doesn't control the situation. He will if he thinks he can. I think him acting up like he did and how I rode through it and made through it very smoothly without an outburst or blow up was what impressed Devon. She said very tactfully ridden, she helped us through it too but he's a skills ride. You can't make him do anything or he'll fight you and he will win. You won't out smart him or out fight him. You have to get him on your side, then he'll do anything you ask as long as you're respectful and quiet about it. Tact, sensitivity and good timing. I had a ride on him a few weeks ago and was like yep this is why he's a professional ride, he's just Dante. My trainers just go with he's a unique individual and I like him as he is, sometimes it's frustrating and expensive because we're always trying to figure out what's going on with him. I kinda feel like he's just who he is and sometimes there isn't an explanation, sometimes it's just mental.

No foaming is considered a good thing, we want them to foam. We look at it as a product of a successful ride, that the horse is connected to the bit, relaxed, and correctly accepting contact. Usually they foam more when they're relaxed and correctly working up into the contact. The "lip stick" is seen as a good thing. Look at Valegro after a ride or some of those top horses who are very well ridden. 

Sometimes people from other disciplines find this alarming but it usually means they're relaxed and using themselves appropriately. I've seen riders make their horses foam a lot stressing them out and using the bit excessively but usually braced, held together horses don't foam. 

Valegro and Charlotte Dujardin, Hubertus Schmidt and Imperio, and Edward Gal and Glock's Zonik all showing foam.


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## Zexious

@Rainaisabelle -- No, it's good! It means the horse is properly engaged. 

Many people unfamiliar with the sport assume it's a bad thing either a) overexertion or b) an unhappy animal. Neither are true. I think 'foaming' gets a bad rep because it's usually not a positive thing in the animal world xD


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## Rainaisabelle

Oh well cool I suppose I only asked because when I took the bridle off Roy today there was foam on the bit not a lot but some and I couldn't remember if someone had said it was a good or bad thing !


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## Zexious

^Some foam is usually to be expected when unbridling.
I thought you were referencing the rather extensive foaming we see in the dressage arena c:


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## Rainaisabelle

PHP:







Zexious said:


> ^Some foam is usually to be expected when unbridling.
> I thought you were referencing the rather extensive foaming we see in the dressage arena c:




Oh well thats also part of the question, I can dream though right lol?


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## Tihannah

Love the videos, Cassie!

Again, you are an incredible rider and I'm in awe with how well you ride bareback. Your balance is unreal and I'm definitely envious! So glad your clinic went well and you are right, Devon is an amazing rider!

I do have a question about those HOT upper level horses though. How do they manage to keep them so together during these big competition events in the ring?? Especially those where there's hundreds or even thousands of people watching, camera, etc? Tess is not even remotely close to what you can consider being "hot", but even during schooling events at home, she gets a little nervous and hot and I have a hard time getting her to focus and relax and work. She does carry anywhere near the strength, power, or stamina of these horses and the level of chaos is 10 times that I put her through. I know these are great riders, but still... How do they manage to keep these type horses so focused during these events?


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## Tazzie

Oh it makes perfect sense to me. I can't even imagine trying to ride consistently bareback and really getting to ride with more weight in the hind end. I really hope that saddle comes quickly!

I'm sure it'll happen one day  they are a ton of work, but they are great additions to the family! They sound like good kids  and yes, kids are very literal :lol:

I'd so be interested in those tricks.... :lol:

Is she the only one that has it? Because ticks are awful animals with zero purpose in my life. I'm also absolutely terrified of ticks and want them all to go away. So to not have any on Izzie would be fabulous...

That's really unfortunate she has so many bad accidents :sad: I feel bad for her.

I'm glad he worked through it for the clinic!

And I'm glad you had a good ride! I loved the videos of you guys! I think you guys rode very well  I really enjoy watching you guys!

She rides very well and I love the horse she's on. That Escolar looks impressive, but I'll stick with my Izzie girl :lol: I don't want dangerous! And Imperio is gorgeous!

Your pictures are just awesome! He is looking so good!!


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## Skyseternalangel

Grooming tricks? I am all ears!!!

Love the riding videos, as always


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. It's taken a lot of years to get that. I thank Kahlua and Sporty for their constant flightiness and unpredictability. Devon is amazing. She's one I watch and am like wow if I could ride quarter as well. She's just so together, organized and her timing is phenomenal. She's pretty little as well, maybe 5'3 but amazing rider and a really genuinely nice, lovely person. Super down to earth and compassionate. But thank you. 

I'm not anywhere near their level of skills/knowledge/know how but I can say riding Dante who is a hotter horse but not anywhere near what those top professionals horses are. Generally I wouldn't say he's hot but he can be very hot/nervous (more so during winter) when it's warm he's not like that. During winter when he's like that it feels like a ticking time bomb looking for the opportunity to go off. I don't know how I get him to relax other than kinda take-give, on-off of the aids, keeping calm myself and keeping him focused on something. Lots of half halts and laterals. 

A lot of it comes down to a system of communication and training, especially for those guys at the top who are just amazing horseman/women. You can't prevent everything but you can get the horse's focus and concentration on the rider vs everything else with half halts, well timed aids and exposure. Those european horses get SO much exposure at shows it's unreal. Crowds are not quiet there at all, they're very loud and everywhere at once almost like a baseball game. I saw one show when I was in Germany and it was unreal. I'd never seen anything like it. SO many venders selling quality products and things I'd never seen before. It was super crowded and loud. Nothing like what I've seen in the states for a horse show. They get used to that and the rider gets used to riding through it, like if you ride with a german and you ask a question like that. A lot of the times their response is, I just dont let them spook. A lot of half halts and organization of the aids. It's REALLY hard to explain because I can feel how I ride through something but it's hard to describe a feeling. Because its like you feeling a change or something in them and you instinctively know and react to it.

With Dante for example (he's not even close to the hot of those top horses) because he is a spooky/nervous horse, he's not that bad if you keep his focus but he notices things and will spook if given the opportunity. I usually go into shoulder in or lots of core and leg half halts, some outside rein half halts to keep his focus on me. Like when he spooked at Pam, I put my inside leg on to prevent him from jumping out. He's also taken off side ways because I exhaled too loudly (I laughed really hard on the inside, it was so funny) because that was too much for him to handle. He's nervy. Horses feed a lot off of our energy and our mentality. For example Dante totally knows when I'm not totally focused or if I'm at all tense, even a passing thought of anxiousness or nervousness he feeds off of that and tenses up and gets nervous. So it starts with me taking long deep breaths and no matter the situation staying calm and keeping myself from taking it personally. If I ever get frustrated Dante gets tense and takes off but he comes back the moment my energy is calm and I'm systematic. I don't tense when he acts up, if I tense he gets more nervous, so I stay relaxed and just redirect his effort with shoulder in. But note we've been working with Dante on this for over a year, so shoulder in and half halt with leg on is how I get him to come back and focus and you can never hold him or he gets tense/racy. It's also something I feel I instinctively ride through. I don't know how to break that part down unfortunately but if you pay attention to their ears, that will tell you what they're paying attention to. You should think of having one ear always on your in a scary situation and for you not feeding into the scary situation or making it into a big deal. If you make it a big deal, they think it's a big deal. If you just go ehh I don't care and maybe do a few transitions through the scary moment or laterals steps, half halts or whatever helps you to get their focus on you. Put yourself in a situation to manage the situation. You are Tess's guide, role model and fearless leader. You have to see yourself that way, so you can guide her way through the scary moments. Aids are on and off, never constant or they lose their meaning. 

When you first start redirecting her focus it's not going to be as simple, it's systematic. Like Dante used to spook all the way around the arena. The wind blew and he'd jump. He couldn't go by the window when it was open without a melt down. My trainer rode him through it once and he reared up on her because he refused to go by it and he tried it a few times with me and when he'd do that I'd just do a turn on the forehand like nope you dont' get to rear then he'd try to take off, and I was like nope so then he tried to spook and I was like leg on and now he has no problem but you still have to do extra outside rein half halt or he will jump side ways off the open side. It takes time and training to train their reactions to when things are scary, Dante turns to me and we've stopped him over reacting enough times that he doesn't have massive blow ups anymore. Sometimes you can stop it all but you can prevent a lot and as you get more skilled you can prevent more and more.

Like this video if you fast forward to 5.30 he spooks. I just half halt the outside rein, add leg and get it back together. 






__________________________________________

Katie- yes bareback is exhausting and it's REALLY hard to really get them up. especially when they're leaning because there is nothing to help you. Your just there and have to brace in your core so they don't pull you out. Plus you're directly over their back so if they're a Dante it's harder to get them up and to take the weight behind. You can do all kinds of laterals but you can't get the same oomph in your seat to get the hind legs under. If he were older and further a long, it probably wouldn't take so much but when there at his stage of training it just takes a lot. And me too. I want it now but at least 2 months from now and there is nothing in the barn that fits him.

I really hope so. I love them. I'm not a baby person but I love kids. And I have absolutely NO doubt of that. It's 24/7 monitoring because where there is mischief they will find and create it. They crack me up and they notice things I'd never even thought of. And they really are good kids, they have really good parents too, they have rules and stick to them. The little brother is getting really talkative and bold. 

I'll let you know on the tick front when I know. They are entirely useless and awful.

But thank you I am too. I'm kinda glad he was a little naughty but not unworkably naughty because then I got more ideas on how to work through it in a productive-positive way. I think it's just apart of who he is and I just have to accept that.

Thank you kindly  I appreciate it. 

She really is a nice rider. She's a little rider as well, I think she's 5'3. Escolar really is impressive, in person he was just phenomenal. I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was spectacular! Imperio is amazing! If Izzy was an anglo I'd say get her approved trakehner and breed her to Imperio. His off spring are amazing and I've heard really good things. Or Blitz und Donner, his offspring are really nice and SUPER ridable and well behaved. I've known several Blitz Und Donners. Super ridable with good personalities and very typey heads. Comet was by Blitz und Donner, Angel has like 5 Blitz babies lol. 

Thank you  I'm really proud of him. And I'm glad Devon liked him and it's not just my Mommy bias towards him lol.
__________________

Sky- Thank you. And a few grooms trick I can think of right now. These I have from my personal experience adn over the years and Juan who I used to call the Wizard because he was just an amazing groom. I followed him last summer to learn what makes so magical as a groom. He wipes the horses with a cloth after he grooms. lol baby oil in the big water bucket. I use a mix of corona shampoo and dawn. But don't wash with baby oil all the time, just once in a while it makes them REALLY shiny and soft. I use a really good quality conditioner for the mane and tail and detangler I use the equise (sp?). I don't like cowboy magic. I put effol hoof oil on his hooves during summer. Ketchup for grey tails to remove the stains and let that sit (Angel taught me that), I also don't miss greys :lol: For tack toothpaste works really well on bits but the herm sprenger ones I use the herm sprenger bit paste, then I use toothpaste to clean them. For leather, once in a while when they're grimy I will use murphys oil soap (I learned this one from Debbie Witty) in a water bucket (do not let the leather soak, I rinse them off then dry it as soon as each piece is done) clean with that and wipe it off and when I use that I scrub with a toothbrush and wash the webbed reins in it. Scrubbing the cotton or whatever material that is. And saddle if they have the grained leather you can use the toothbrush to clean and get into the crevets. Off the top of my head I can't think what else. I was good at mane pulling and braiding. And lederbalsm (sp?) I forget which brand but there was one I really liked. My new favorite is actually made by trilogy :lol: regular saddle soap, I use a goatsmilk/lavender soap and I really like it. Brings the shine and polish to the leather, as well as softens it. I honestly think most grooms tricks are elbow grease and skills lol. I don't miss wrapping legs all the time. I don't mind doing standing wraps but if I don't absolute have to, I won't.


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## Tazzie

Absolutely! It's hard when he's just learning how to do it, but I still think you're doing a great job working with what you have. At least 2 months isn't that long in the scheme of things :lol: just will feel like forever!

I'm not a baby person either :lol: when people say it's different with your own, it's true. I still don't care for babies that aren't mine or someone close to me. Polite kids I can do, but I also see a lot of kids I have to walk away from (and usually take my kid's toys back from them) :lol:

I'd appreciate it!

Oh yeah, I think the most productive lessons are the ones where the instructor can see what you deal with on a regular basis. Learning new tips and tricks to work through it is totally worth the acting up in a lesson!

You're always welcome  I love watching you guys ride :lol:

So she's just a little taller than me! That's cool! And I'll have to look up Blitz und Donner. I've never heard of him. I also haven't put much thought into breeding her to a Warmblood since I don't know what stallion owners would be ok breeding to an Arabian/Paint cross no matter how nice she is. Still want to check out that stud though :lol:

Well yeah! It's always nice when someone likes your horse!

I'll have to use those tricks. How long do you leave the ketchup in the tail? I've heard of that one, but didn't know how well it worked.


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## frlsgirl

Great riding through that spook. It can be so un-nerving. Ana also spooks sideways like that but she also does drop and squat spook which always rattles me! It feels like the horse is going to disappear from under you:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> Absolutely! It's hard when he's just learning how to do it, but I still think you're doing a great job working with what you have. At least 2 months isn't that long in the scheme of things
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> just will feel like forever!
> 
> I'm not a baby person either
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> when people say it's different with your own, it's true. I still don't care for babies that aren't mine or someone close to me. Polite kids I can do, but I also see a lot of kids I have to walk away from (and usually take my kid's toys back from them)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I'd appreciate it!
> 
> Oh yeah, I think the most productive lessons are the ones where the instructor can see what you deal with on a regular basis. Learning new tips and tricks to work through it is totally worth the acting up in a lesson!
> 
> You're always welcome
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I love watching you guys ride
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> So she's just a little taller than me! That's cool! And I'll have to look up Blitz und Donner. I've never heard of him. I also haven't put much thought into breeding her to a Warmblood since I don't know what stallion owners would be ok breeding to an Arabian/Paint cross no matter how nice she is. Still want to check out that stud though
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Well yeah! It's always nice when someone likes your horse!
> 
> I'll have to use those tricks. How long do you leave the ketchup in the tail? I've heard of that one, but didn't know how well it worked.


It really is and when he's not cooperative and being very resistant, it's hard to get the sit. He's done some true collected trot steps but it takes a lot of core and leg half halts to get it and he can't hold it for long. But sometimes if you tap him he just kicks out and when I say tap I mean touching him with it and the tap definitely helps with that because he knows what that means lol and I think he's more comfortable in a saddle then bareback. Even in the pad he just feels more resistant in his back if that makes sense? It sounds counter intuitive but I think a well fitted saddle is more comfortable for them too because there is more cushion between your seat bones and their back. 

I absolutely believe you on that front. I don't hate babies but they're not my thing, I like when you can talk to them and interact and listen to them share their stories. I'm also the same way, I don't like kids who are raised spoiled and without rules. My parents are from German families and could be quite stern sometimes. My mom had me fill a shot glass with saliva and drink it because I spit and swore and she wasn't going to have that in her house :lol: she sat with me and made sure I drank it, if I spit it out she said she'd sit with me until I did it. I think it's also hard to deal with some parents who think their kid is God's gift to the world and some kind of genius or artistic master who can do no wrong and always blame another child, so their kid is never held accountable or has to take responsibility. Those ones I can't be around. My dad he never saw us as "special" but he enjoyed and liked us. My dad was big on no excessive praise or compliments. My sister and I were never complimented for our looks and rarely complimented beyond good job. We're better for it, I think. We don't seek praise.

Oh definitely. I'm glad when they can see what I'm talking about, so we have a better lesson or get why I can't get more from him. Somedays you just get what you get. But my trainer knows me really well, so if I say a horse is hot or naughty or does something she knows I'm not just telling stories or exaggerating which helps and gives us better lessons.

Well thank you kindly  we're getting there. We don't hammer on laterals too much. We do and don't. I've watched lessons where the horse is just shoulder in/haunches in the whole time and loses the throughness and self carriage and gets more crooked because they got into the laterals and lost the feeling of sending the horse out to the bridle or have no idea what that feels like. I feel like my core engages and pushes him out to my hand like radiated energy from my core. I try not to school much haunches in and focus more on shoulder in. I'll do it on a circle but not down the long side or that seems to be their next trick to evade and be crooked. 

Blitz und Donner was unfortunately gelded and is now a children's hunter but I think if they still have semen from him or his approved sons might be a great cross for Izzy, if you ever go that route. I think they have a half trakehner registry too. And I think the WB breeders won't mind. Honestly with the German stallions, mares don't need to be approved when you buy semen. You just buy the semen. Trakehners might cross better because they already have more Arab and hotter blood. Or at least I've trakehner/Arab crosses more consistently turn out better. I think because they're more similar. 

And it really is. On the ground she was like oh you're so handsome and pretty. And I was like he's like any man tell him how fit and gorgeous he is and he'll be so full of himself he'll like you more for it lol. 

I don't know how long but 5-10 minutes is what I did. I've seen people use color safe bleach too but it really messes with the texture of the hair and I don't like it. Cleaning it regularly really is what we did but the ketchup works.



frlsgirl said:


> Great riding through that spook. It can be so un-nerving. Ana also spooks sideways like that but she also does drop and squat spook which always rattles me! It feels like the horse is going to disappear from under you:


Thank you. His spooking has gotten a lot more manageable. His used to be shooting side ways, in winter he still does on a loose rein or if it's a very windy day, so you have to be really aware to prevent it. Dip down and roll back or rear and totally balk bit he's gotten a lot more obedient and mindful. To an extent we had to teach him not to spook or at least not react so big and focus on work. It takes time but is worth the effort. It really is unnerving when they get out from under you that fast. Kahlua and Sporty were the worst about that. Sporty would be fine for weeks then pick out a rock he didn't like the look of and hed be totally fine to 180 galloping the other direction on the blink of an eye, he had a cat brain and horse body lol. 

But if they're spooky, it does get better with training! I hope Ana has gotten better about it!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Our ride tonight was pretty good. Birds were flying around the arena, so I didn't feel safe on him on a totally loose rein. I tried and he flew side ways when a bird flew up towards him. I made him a little hot tonight on purpose because he was being rude and snarky, so I fired him up a bit to get him responsive and listening. I don't like that game but it definitely got him focused and paying attention, so he stopped being snarky. We rode medium trot (lenghtened trot) when we trotted, except for shoulder in and leg yield (he's not strong/coordinated enough for that) then he could go back to working and I did work on trying to expand his medium towards an extended trot. It's not there yet but there were quite a few steps that felt a lot bigger than the medium. I'm just putting in the frame work. In canter we rode basically shoulder in the entire time both directions because I'm trying to teach him how to organize his body better and really get his hind leg under him and into my outside rein so I petted him quite a bit with the inside rein and half halted the outside rein to really get him there, so we can build towards collected canter. I need to have that really well established first. I rode him a lot more up today and was a lot more proactive about keeping him up in the frame. After his tantrum (he basically let out a pretty mean buck, I'm glad I stayed on) but he was not into having to work harder then he felt he had to but after that he let me lay the whip on his bottom, again when I say lay the tip touches his bottom and that really transformed his movement and laterals. It felt like we had some really good work. I'll see what Pam says in our lesson tomorrow. I don't always believe what I feel. And I'll ask Pam about working him more in medium trot. He is definitely strong enough to carry medium trot, not for the whole ride but more of the ride then before. I'm not into pressuring them past what they're able to do but he seemed pretty comfortable with the amount of medium I asked, I didn't feel like it was forced or like it was out of his reach. Like a little bump in challenge and expectations. Basically for building towards extended (he's not there yet) I rode him in medium on circles, around the arena and asked for bigger than his medium as big as he could give me on the straight aways while still half halting to keep him on his hind end and not falling onto the forehand or across the diagnol and then let him come back through the turn to medium and sent him on again. With him I feel like you just send and encourage. He seemed really happy after our ride and I think he felt pretty proud of himself. He was walking like he was pretty special :lol: he was good, so I asked him to halt with hind end under and got off. He halted square and I walked him in the arena for a few minutes to cool down. I think he knew he did well.

Short clip with the broom. I gave him the handle of his bareback pad once and he just swung it all around for quite a while. It was hysterical, then he'd drop it, pick it up and start swinging it around lol. He just needs to find something to entertain himself with. I think he gets bored easily and finds mischief. I already know if I ever have children they're going to be like Dante :lol: he knows when he's not suppose to do something. It's like whenever he's been really naughty, he totally knows he's not meant to but he looks for the opportunity because he wants his way.






Pictures of Dante. He was very cheeky tonight. He nickered at me when he saw me (I didn't see him yesterday) and he was very cuddly. Some mouth foam from after our ride. And us, I made the face because he was licking my cheek and it felt funny. And in general him up to no good. I let him for a little bit because he was just so darn cute and sweet. And Yes he did take the comb and played with it. He also tried to pull the sign down. The broom was on the ground when I was picking his feet and he knocked over the pitch fork, picked up the broom and was swinging it around. He cracks me up :lol:


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## Tihannah

Such cute pics! He looks more and more handsome everyday and you can't help but love his fun personality!

What exactly do you do to get him so fired up??

The reason I ask is because I really felt like I was getting better with keeping Tess forward and in front of my leg, but I guess its because I've never really ridden a forward horse. Yesterday I got to ride a retired advanced eventer who is a 20 yr old Irish Sport Horse and was amazed and how responsive and easy he moved off my legs. No hesitation in trot or canter. I simply had to ask and off we went and he never slowed until I asked. It was incredible. Now I'm determined to get Tess to be more forward. I'm just not sure how I can change her "eh" response to my aids?

Though Dante gets tricky, you never seem to have any trouble keeping him "forward". Is this just more natural in some horses more than others??


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tihannah said:


> Such cute pics! He looks more and more handsome everyday and you can't help but love his fun personality!
> 
> What exactly do you do to get him so fired up??
> 
> The reason I ask is because I really felt like I was getting better with keeping Tess forward and in front of my leg, but I guess its because I've never really ridden a forward horse. Yesterday I got to ride a retired advanced eventer who is a 20 yr old Irish Sport Horse and was amazed and how responsive and easy he moved off my legs. No hesitation in trot or canter. I simply had to ask and off we went and he never slowed until I asked. It was incredible. Now I'm determined to get Tess to be more forward. I'm just not sure how I can change her "eh" response to my aids?
> 
> Though Dante gets tricky, you never seem to have any trouble keeping him "forward". Is this just more natural in some horses more than others??



Thank you. Yes that personality though :lol: he's like that with me. Other people don't find his antics so amusing but he's a jerk with other people I don't know why but he's a mama's boy. He's cuddly with me, ears pinned, swishing tail crabbiness with other people. He can be a jerk to me too. In all the time I was a working student or rode horses handling 25 horses a day, including baby-babies I don't remember getting kicked, except once in the head by Sporty but Dante's kicked me 3 times. He's quick and dirty about it. 

I know this will sound odd, I just kinda make it with my energy if that makes sense? He's very sensitive to the energy I put out so I take advantage of that. I also put more emphasis on him having quick reactions to light aids. I don't want him jumpy but listening. Dante is naturally a forward horse but I also don't let him be "lazy" or not react. I always have an expectation and my aids match and follow through. I'm not at all perfect but the training is systematic and my aids are clear. I have an expectation with every aid I apply. I'm very conscious of it and have to be very focused in my organization of aids or Dante's not cooperative hardly at all. If he knows my head isn't in it he just says F you, doesn't try, and does what he wants. He will always look for the opportunity to control the situation, he's alpha that way but if he's told his place he's respectful. In that sense he's good for me because you can't ride him if you aren't totally focused because he doesn't blow through it or tune out. Just says okay I'm OFP (own F***ing program) vs a lot of other horses shut down or might take advantage in small ways vs aggressively act out.

Vs Tess will tune that out and may not directly tell you when your aids aren't clear or you aren't focused or as organized but she'll tell you in subtle ways. It comes to experience and feel and being aware of things you do that cause Tess to shut off or ignore your aids or what you need to do to be more clear, so she understand what you want. Riding the schoolmaster was probably a good thing because it shows to you that you can do it, so you can do it on Tessa. Try replicating the feeling you had on him to Tess, she might not react the same way but expect that she does and don't get frazzled if she doesn't react the same way but act like a professional and just say okay and be confident with your aid. expect it to happen and go. Mental projections are VERY powerful in riding, I think our bodies naturally try to match what our mind projects. Just outside leg back, maybe half halt twice on the outside rein and step into it. I never pump with my seat, just outside leg back, prepare the horse so they know what's coming (2 half halts outside rein) and ask. And maybe you need to ride a few trot-canter transition to make the aid really clear. Last week on Dante we literally would have a single trot stride and canter, single trot stride and canter. Not to get him to canter but to improve his transition, so he jumps up into the hand with his shoulder in line. 

If I ride something dull or prone to tune a rider out. I tend to do a few transitions or do simple things to make them responsive. I start by being light in my aids and clear in my direction and reinforce so the horse understands? For example I'll do transitions until the horse is as light off the leg as I want them to be. I want a quick, immediate response but not stressed. So sometimes if they aren't quick off my aid I'll halt-trot-halt-trot and make them remember to go. I reinforce it with my seat setting the pace. Or if a horse is a little confused about laterals steps I'll do a turn on the forehand square with just my outside rein and inside leg and just make an imaginary square and ask the horse to step over at each corner so they remember inside leg-outside rein and I have them in my outside rein from my inside rein without me having to force it. 

I think sometimes when we're learning it's hard when we're riding something green and tends to tune out like Tess does. Her reaction is to tune out, rather than act out where as Dante doesn't shut off. He throws a fit and sometimes he throws fits for no reason other than he doesn't feel like it and I'm more like tough, this is your job. Tess has it in her to be as reactive as the eventer but you have to have that expectation that she will canter when you ask and not stress out if she doesn't just expect and ask again. Think deep breaths, don't take it personally and ask the same as you did on the eventer.


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## Rainaisabelle

Just putting in here sorry!


Pro equine groom if you google it has some really good grooming tips and such


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> It really is and when he's not cooperative and being very resistant, it's hard to get the sit. He's done some true collected trot steps but it takes a lot of core and leg half halts to get it and he can't hold it for long. But sometimes if you tap him he just kicks out and when I say tap I mean touching him with it and the tap definitely helps with that because he knows what that means lol and I think he's more comfortable in a saddle then bareback. Even in the pad he just feels more resistant in his back if that makes sense? It sounds counter intuitive but I think a well fitted saddle is more comfortable for them too because there is more cushion between your seat bones and their back.
> 
> I absolutely believe you on that front. I don't hate babies but they're not my thing, I like when you can talk to them and interact and listen to them share their stories. I'm also the same way, I don't like kids who are raised spoiled and without rules. My parents are from German families and could be quite stern sometimes. My mom had me fill a shot glass with saliva and drink it because I spit and swore and she wasn't going to have that in her house :lol: she sat with me and made sure I drank it, if I spit it out she said she'd sit with me until I did it. I think it's also hard to deal with some parents who think their kid is God's gift to the world and some kind of genius or artistic master who can do no wrong and always blame another child, so their kid is never held accountable or has to take responsibility. Those ones I can't be around. My dad he never saw us as "special" but he enjoyed and liked us. My dad was big on no excessive praise or compliments. My sister and I were never complimented for our looks and rarely complimented beyond good job. We're better for it, I think. We don't seek praise.
> 
> Oh definitely. I'm glad when they can see what I'm talking about, so we have a better lesson or get why I can't get more from him. Somedays you just get what you get. But my trainer knows me really well, so if I say a horse is hot or naughty or does something she knows I'm not just telling stories or exaggerating which helps and gives us better lessons.
> 
> Well thank you kindly  we're getting there. We don't hammer on laterals too much. We do and don't. I've watched lessons where the horse is just shoulder in/haunches in the whole time and loses the throughness and self carriage and gets more crooked because they got into the laterals and lost the feeling of sending the horse out to the bridle or have no idea what that feels like. I feel like my core engages and pushes him out to my hand like radiated energy from my core. I try not to school much haunches in and focus more on shoulder in. I'll do it on a circle but not down the long side or that seems to be their next trick to evade and be crooked.
> 
> Blitz und Donner was unfortunately gelded and is now a children's hunter but I think if they still have semen from him or his approved sons might be a great cross for Izzy, if you ever go that route. I think they have a half trakehner registry too. And I think the WB breeders won't mind. Honestly with the German stallions, mares don't need to be approved when you buy semen. You just buy the semen. Trakehners might cross better because they already have more Arab and hotter blood. Or at least I've trakehner/Arab crosses more consistently turn out better. I think because they're more similar.
> 
> And it really is. On the ground she was like oh you're so handsome and pretty. And I was like he's like any man tell him how fit and gorgeous he is and he'll be so full of himself he'll like you more for it lol.
> 
> I don't know how long but 5-10 minutes is what I did. I've seen people use color safe bleach too but it really messes with the texture of the hair and I don't like it. Cleaning it regularly really is what we did but the ketchup works.


I totally agree. I know some people like bareback better, but saddles are good for distributing the weight better. And definitely to help get them more up, rounded and forward.

I did grow up with a lot of praise and such, but I don't actively seek it out now. We do praise/celebrate the small things with our kiddos. Kind of encourage them to keep doing that (IE POTTY TRAINING; bane of my existence right now). But I don't tolerate spoiled kids, and I want my children to learn how to lose since not everyone is a winner. No matter what sports tells you now.

Exactly! And new tips for the arsenal is always good!

I didn't figure you would hammer on laterals. Especially when they try to use that as their evasion. Better to just do it once or so, make sure you're still good, then move on. I think a lot of people learn new tricks and that is all they want to do. No fun for anyone at that point.

I may have to look into it later on :wink:

Haha, it is true that men are like that!

And thanks! I don't do too much with her tail right now since I don't have the area/resources to keep up with it. Our friend/BO is on a cistern, so we only bathe when necessary. So we really only clean her tail for a show. Will be happy when we have our own place and she can come home.

I'm glad you had such a good ride last night even if he started off being a punk! I'll be excited to hear how your lesson goes!


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## frlsgirl

Oh the picture and video of him with the broom is so cute. I see you are not having any trouble loading pictures?

I know what you mean about not wanting to walk on a loose rein when the birds are loose; I had just posted something on FB about that; Ana was really “up” yesterday and noticed everything including those noisy birds.

That’s great that you are able to do the canter in shoulder-in; I guess most horses like to throw their haunches out so that they don’t carry any weight on the inside hind. Ana isn’t at that level yet so I’m just happy to be cantering without feeling like I’m going to die.

Ana also nickers at me sometimes when she sees me; unless she’s napping or eating, then she’s like “Umm, can you come back later? Right now is not a good time!”


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## DanteDressageNerd

Good news is we might have a temporary saddle that works! He had some awful tantrums in our lesson today and Pam gave us some exercises to just push through it and have Dante get over himself, so we didn't work on anything other than his attitude. We had a saddle and he threw some mean bucks It was a nasty tantrum. I don't know how many times he did but he was just being an ***. So it was basically just having Dante go when asked, slow when asked and listen. He doesn't get to be a primaDante all the time. He's 6 and needs to start acting more like a big horse and less like a big baby when he doesnt feel like working. We've given him the benefit of the doubt, looked for possible pain. I think we're at sorting through his attitude problem and teaching him his place. It's not about killing his spirit but teaching him to be a solid citizen rather than a snotty teenager.

I gave him a massage after the ride. i think he is a little sore but not so sore that it's an excuse. He just needs to get over himself. I don't let him get away with murder but I'm just sick of the unnecessary attitude. I love him dearly but enough is enough.

_____________________

Katie- I definitely think saddles long term are better for the horse too when they're properly fitted because of the weight distribution, rather than the seat bones just digging into the horses back. In the saddle he instantly just used his back SO much better. I think it's hard for them to carry themselves like we want them to all the time bareback.

I think kids should be encouraged and told when they do the right thing. And I do not envy you, I have not heard potty training is fun :lol: But I totally agree about teaching kids that not everybody is a winner and how to be a good sport about things.

Absolutely! Always good to add some new tools to your belt!

Exactly. I think sometimes people school movements to school movements, rather than for the effect of how it improves the horse's training. Dante has light days too but mostly we vary things and don't drill.

Isn't it? I will never forget dating a guy well into his 30s, a professional and got SO butthurt because I didn't compliment his workout pictures like really? You're how old and you have the audacity to call me immature for a different situation where I was honest and he couldn't handle it because God forbid someone be real with him. Granted he was a psychopath but it was funny. And I just don't compliment a ton. It feels unnatural to me when someone is pressuring or pulling at me to compliment them. 

Absolutely makes sense to me. No sense in doing it excessively.

And thank you. Our lesson wasn't productive dressage wise but productive training wise. Dealing with Dante's attitude and teaching him he has to be a big horse as is no longer a baby and able to have tantrums when he doesn't want to work.
_______________________

Thank you. He's pretty funny. 

I wasn't able to put him on the buckle or a totally loose rein because he'd get nervous and ancy. A bird flew at his head and that really startled him. I think birds kinda upset some horses because they're moving all around and are distracting to a prey animal.

I think so and they just don't want to coordinate their bodies, the way we want them to in dressage. But it does make them stronger and make them a lot more coordinated in canter. It takes time to develop and organize the canter. It took a LONG time to get Dante's canter to where it is now. It used to be all forehand and felt like washing machine on spin cycle. It was awful but Ana's will improve too!

lol I've only caught Dante napping once but it's nice when they're happy to see you like oh mom! Mom! I missed you!


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## Tazzie

Hooray for a temporary saddle!! That is GREAT news!

I know how you feel 100% there. It gets OLD when they throw temper tantrums because they don't want to work. I'm glad the lesson was at least productive in terms of "you are an adult now, act like one."

I'm glad he was able to use his back better  doesn't surprise me it helped out! And I agree. Bareback is fun once in a while, but it's awfully hard to do correct training bareback.

It's really not fun. Our 3 year old KNOWS what to do, and doesn't. Makes us pull our hair out. And yeah, I don't like the everyone wins mentality. That isn't realistic.

Yup! I like the shoulder in since it helps her sit up and back a bit more. But I don't drill it. I just use other exercises to help with it.

Ugh, no. I'm very thankful Nick doesn't need praise all the time. Or his ego stroked all the time. He's an independent man.

I'm still glad the lesson was productive in some way!

And those pictures are just adorable! I love the ones you posted yesterday too! He's such a character :lol:


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## Zexious

I totally agree with you about the birds--Gator is (was?) quite the worrier. Stationary things; moving things; things that weren't there yesterday; things that were there yesterday... xD 
Do you have Dante on any supplements or meds? It really helped to focus Gator.

I love the pictures of him playing with the grooming supplies--I think 'pleasantly' (xD) mouthy horses are just the cutest things. I think you said this before, but they're totally like toddlers. Gotta put everything in their mouth.


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## Skyseternalangel

I finish my last final tomorrow, then riding lesson friday.

I am leaving it up to you on if and when you'd like to meet up. I am sure you still have finals so I am not trying to pressure you or anything.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> Hooray for a temporary saddle!! That is GREAT news!
> 
> I know how you feel 100% there. It gets OLD when they throw temper tantrums because they don't want to work. I'm glad the lesson was at least productive in terms of "you are an adult now, act like one."
> 
> I'm glad he was able to use his back better
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> doesn't surprise me it helped out! And I agree. Bareback is fun once in a while, but it's awfully hard to do correct training bareback.
> 
> It's really not fun. Our 3 year old KNOWS what to do, and doesn't. Makes us pull our hair out. And yeah, I don't like the everyone wins mentality. That isn't realistic.
> 
> Yup! I like the shoulder in since it helps her sit up and back a bit more. But I don't drill it. I just use other exercises to help with it.
> 
> Ugh, no. I'm very thankful Nick doesn't need praise all the time. Or his ego stroked all the time. He's an independent man.
> 
> I'm still glad the lesson was productive in some way!
> 
> And those pictures are just adorable! I love the ones you posted yesterday too! He's such a character


Definitely!! Having a saddle to ride in is a big plus!! And absolutely. I'm sick of him being an *** for no reason. A lot of it is pretty uncalled for. Canter I literally just position and ask ask, don't even touch him with my leg and he threw a pretty hard buck. I mean he bucked hard at least 8 times (not in a row), he was just having a fit. And we were just like we're asking nothing difficult, my aids are quiet. We dropped the whip and towards the end he didn't have a tude about transitions but I'm over it. Even if he's a little sore he can get over it. Circumstances aren't always going to be perfect and I've been in a TON of pain and still had to perform my combat fitness test which I had to go to the ER afterwards. I waited until the end of the day because you get used to sucking it up and being stoic but I was turning white and shaking from the pain. But we're not asking anything close to that of him. 

Me too. He instantly engaged better and more effortlessly sat back off my half halts. There were good things. It really is hard to do bareback and really get it. It's just not the same as a well fitted saddle. 

I agree. I get frustrated with this era of cater to everyone's feelings because we're all delicate flowers and the use of political correctness to control free speech. Can't even be honest with some people.. And I'm more like, I think kids need to learn what it's like to lose and not quit just because they aren't the best. Sportsmanship and learn what it's like to fail and have their feelings hurt, so they can cope with it. Rather than demand everyone cater their language to their sensitive feelings. I think people should be respectful but I don't think a person should be attacked for telling the truth, rather than saying what people want to hear. But I believe it







kids know that rules and expectations but have to test the waters and see what they can get away with firat. Very frustrating.

Precisely. Engaging the inside hind leg and really connecting it to the outside rein and putting the whole body in line. I like it for transitions or when he's really spooky because it gets his focus and also for introducing collection, especially at canter.

I completely agree. A guy who needs his ego stroked all the time and told what a big, strong man he is all the time is a pain in the ***. Especially if you can't even be real with them without them getting butthurt and putting you down for it. Like they need to put you in line for suggesting they're not perfect or not being taken in by their manipulation game/ploy. I think he was using it as a test to see how wrapped around his finger I was or to navigate how he could best manipulate me. Psychopath games. But Nick sounds great, like he's an emotionally mature, secure man who enjoys the occasional compliment but isn't dependent on it. 

Me too. I'm just like Dante grow up! But he really is a character







he's very interactive and funny. Pam was playing with him while I was getting stuff. She held the reins out wide while standing in front of him sonhe tilted his head and started making faces. It was nice to see him in a saddle though. He looked like a real dressage horse lol. 



Zexious said:


> I totally agree with you about the birds--Gator is (was?) quite the worrier. Stationary things; moving things; things that weren't there yesterday; things that were there yesterday... xD
> Do you have Dante on any supplements or meds? It really helped to focus Gator.
> 
> I love the pictures of him playing with the grooming supplies--I think 'pleasantly' (xD) mouthy horses are just the cutest things. I think you said this before, but they're totally like toddlers. Gotta put everything in their mouth.


No. I don't think he needs supplements for it. He's pretty good about listening to me and letting me ride through the scary stuff. He's not a worrier but he is nervy. He's not really nervous, just aware and reactive.

He is very playful. He doesn't usually bite or nip. Except for in hand work he needs to be handled a bit like a stallion because he'll swing his head at you trying to bite at trot if you don't check him and keep him working. But he's a fun guy.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Skyseternalangel said:


> I finish my last final tomorrow, then riding lesson friday.
> 
> I am leaving it up to you on if and when you'd like to meet up. I am sure you still have finals so I am not trying to pressure you or anything.


I have my last final Thursday of next week. So after that I'm open to meeting up! If that works for you.


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## Skyseternalangel

DanteDressageNerd said:


> I have my last final Thursday of next week. So after that I'm open to meeting up! If that works for you.


That will work out great!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Okay awesome!!


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Definitely!! Having a saddle to ride in is a big plus!! And absolutely. I'm sick of him being an *** for no reason. A lot of it is pretty uncalled for. Canter I literally just position and ask ask, don't even touch him with my leg and he threw a pretty hard buck. I mean he bucked hard at least 8 times (not in a row), he was just having a fit. And we were just like we're asking nothing difficult, my aids are quiet. We dropped the whip and towards the end he didn't have a tude about transitions but I'm over it. Even if he's a little sore he can get over it. Circumstances aren't always going to be perfect and I've been in a TON of pain and still had to perform my combat fitness test which I had to go to the ER afterwards. I waited until the end of the day because you get used to sucking it up and being stoic but I was turning white and shaking from the pain. But we're not asking anything close to that of him.
> 
> Me too. He instantly engaged better and more effortlessly sat back off my half halts. There were good things. It really is hard to do bareback and really get it. It's just not the same as a well fitted saddle.
> 
> I agree. I get frustrated with this era of cater to everyone's feelings because we're all delicate flowers and the use of political correctness to control free speech. Can't even be honest with some people.. And I'm more like, I think kids need to learn what it's like to lose and not quit just because they aren't the best. Sportsmanship and learn what it's like to fail and have their feelings hurt, so they can cope with it. Rather than demand everyone cater their language to their sensitive feelings. I think people should be respectful but I don't think a person should be attacked for telling the truth, rather than saying what people want to hear. But I believe it
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> kids know that rules and expectations but have to test the waters and see what they can get away with firat. Very frustrating.
> 
> Precisely. Engaging the inside hind leg and really connecting it to the outside rein and putting the whole body in line. I like it for transitions or when he's really spooky because it gets his focus and also for introducing collection, especially at canter.
> 
> I completely agree. A guy who needs his ego stroked all the time and told what a big, strong man he is all the time is a pain in the ***. Especially if you can't even be real with them without them getting butthurt and putting you down for it. Like they need to put you in line for suggesting they're not perfect or not being taken in by their manipulation game/ploy. I think he was using it as a test to see how wrapped around his finger I was or to navigate how he could best manipulate me. Psychopath games. But Nick sounds great, like he's an emotionally mature, secure man who enjoys the occasional compliment but isn't dependent on it.
> 
> Me too. I'm just like Dante grow up! But he really is a character
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> he's very interactive and funny. Pam was playing with him while I was getting stuff. She held the reins out wide while standing in front of him sonhe tilted his head and started making faces. It was nice to see him in a saddle though. He looked like a real dressage horse lol.


I agree, that is uncalled for. You just want to shake them and say "This isn't that bad!! Get over it!!" I will admit to telling Izzie on more than one occasion that I am not asking for much and to get over it. I understand when they are drastically sore, but come on. They are going to be sore every now and then. Especially if it is after a harder than normal workout the day before. But that is no reason to do nasty bucks or being an overall jerk. Hopefully he learns to deal with it.

I am glad there were good things too! I'm glad he half halted better in a saddle, which makes sense.

Yeah, I'm hoping we can teach the kids to not quit something. I'd rather they chug on with it if it's their passion (well, that and can't quit school haha). I don't want delicate flowers. I want independent kids that when they lose, they come back tougher. They have more drive, more desire. I don't want whiny, sissy kids that get their way all the time. And yeah, the political correctness thing is getting annoying. And they sure do. Drives us insane :lol:

Yup! Though, we aren't doing any in the canter yet. Just the trot right now, which I'm totally ok with. I do try to ride shoulder fore when in the canter so she doesn't swing her haunches in and evade the correct way of going. That sometimes causes her to argue, but it's typically an "I don't want to, this is hard!!" argument. Silly kids :lol:

He is a good man  men who require that much attention are definitely a pain in the ***. All goes back to too much praise and not enough losing when they were younger :lol: and that's just sick. I hate stupid games like that. Glad you aren't with that psycho anymore.

:lol: he is such a character! And I bet it was a welcome sight to see him all tacked up like a big boy again!


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## DanteDressageNerd

It really is. He's a special cookie. We're not mean to him but he definitely is going to have to get over it. I have to keep reminding myself he's a lot better than last year. He hasn't threatened to rear in a long time, his spooking is a lot more manageable. He actually understand contact now and a lot of good things. Just a process I guess :lol: and I think he'll always be quirky just gotta show him how to "horse." and be a working partner, rather than a rebel.

Me too. It really helped to have a saddle. He was much more responsive to the half halts, came up more in his back and sat a lot better. Saddles are wonderful lol. I appreciate a saddle!

I think you will. I think your kids are going to turn out very well with you and Nick as parents guiding them, being the example. Teaching them values and how to be productive-independent people. We need more parents like you and Nick or Pam's brother and his wife or Gerardo (barn manager). Their kids no the rules and are really good kids. I hope someday I get to be a mother. That's one of those life dreams that may or may not happen. Depends on if I ever get married and at this rate I'm guessing that will be a no. I don't want to be 35 with a new baby.

Exactly shoulder in is probably once of my favorite exercises. It's just so versatile and is the precursor to basically everything in dressage. Half pass, piroettes, throughness, connection, collection, suppleness, responsiveness. It's just a useful exercise. 

For sure! I'm glad Nick is good but no I'm very glad he isn't my life anymore too. There is nothing I have to say and nothing I want other than for him to stay as far away from me as possible :lol: there are genuinely some not good people out there and he's one of them. He told me he sees people as basically binary code and

He really is. He has a very fun, interactive personality. He likes to play and interact with things. He's always curious. It really was a treat to see him all dressed up. I told Pam wow there is nothing about him that makes me think he's an arabian. And Pam was like no he looks like a lusitano which is what the vet from Fl said (she works with spanish horses), people at the show, Mari and several other people. They think he's spanish.


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## Tazzie

I knew you wouldn't be mean to him, but I understand. He knows what he should do, and chooses to be a jerk about it sometimes. I do wish you luck turning a rebel into a good citizen :lol: but he's old enough to understand the rules.

Saddles are definitely wonderful!

I kind of wish there were more parents like us too :lol: instead of the ones catering and giving in to their kids all the dang time. I truly hope you'll get to experience it one day! Who knows what the future holds!

It definitely is useful! I love it when done correctly!

Yup, there are as many awful guys as there are good guys out there. It's really a shame. Makes woman gun shy to men. Though, I know there are some awful women too. And that's strange he sees people as binary code :/

He does look very much like a spanish horse! Izzie looks more Arab than he does, and she doesn't look super Araby in person :lol: but yeah, definitely a nice treat to have him all tacked up!

Were you able to ride yesterday? If you did, I hope it was a good one!


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## Rainaisabelle

Wish I lived over in America so o could meet you guys !


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## DanteDressageNerd

Nope. Definitely not mean. Just Dante get over yourself lol. But thank you for the luck! We need it. Yesterday he rode like a baby horse. Literally I was very flustered after that ride. I think something isnt' right about him. Dante is an @ss hole. He is a lot of things but he's not usually like that. At least he's stopped bucking when we leg him on. Took off spurs and dropped the whip. Pam stood in the center and Dante thought Pam was going to kill him. It literally felt like breaking a baby with a little more steering. He threw one mean buck where I came onto his shoulder and I was like dude we're done and he knocked it out. Then I had to relearn to ride in a saddle. I don't think I like the saddle but it's also having to almost brace against it to keep from going everywhere. I don't know *shrugs* I didn't ride badly in it but I wasn't quiet enough for Dante because my trainer said he's sensitive to an almost ridiculous degree. I like that sensitivity though because I know down the line it's going to make him really good, especially when/if we go upper level. I really thing he's going to do a lot better when he's upper level, it's just going to take time to get there. My goal is PSG by the time he's 9-10 which I think is realistic but you never know what can happen along the way.

Oh for sure. We'd have a better world and society with more loving parents who discipline and guide, rather than love pat and act like their kid is perfect and can do no wrong. Me too. I think it's a long shot because I'm kinda crazy. Not really but I'm abnormal enough I don't suit a lot of people. They like how I look but not who I am and I relate to VERY few people. Like if I'm upset I do math problems because it shows me there is still balance and order in the world or I like theorizing on why certain genes turn on or off based on how we live our lives and to what extent they're influenced by our thoughts because studies show the DNA of children born to smoking mothers have changes on their DNA in thousands of places more similar to someone who has been smoking their whole life and what unlocks these features in our DNA. Similar with another study shows that the offspring of stressed father at the time of conception showed higher rates of anxiety and depression. I think it's unique to every individual and I think it is determined to an extent by our thoughts and definitely by how we live our lives. Or I'll study physics and want to explain why time is imaginary but necessary for us to exist, so we don't process it all at once or talking about protein synthesis or just whatever comes to mind. And a lot of the stuff I talk about are things I maybe havent though about in a while but then Ill remember in that instant which is fun. I'm not really an *** but I can be very odd/awkward to a Sheldon-like extent but when I share information, it isn't a look how smart I am, more OMG I'm so excited is someone actually going to listen to me? And I have autistic tendencies that now that I know are pretty obvious, I really dont understand certain behavior or things people do and sometimes take things way too literally because I don't understand. I have to logically break down sarcasm to know it's sarcasm and when people are irrational or highly emotional I tend to go silent because I don't know how to . It's just weird quirks and in this age guys don't want real/honest and a lot of them dont want someone who is extremely independent and isn't afraid to walk out the door and never look back and isn't going to stroke their ego. And I can cope with pressure, take control of a situation and lead better than most men, I had to as a Marine and it's why they respected me. I can be pretty fiery, passionate and intimidating or I can be a lot of things to silent, shy, avoiding all eye contact and quiet. I just can't imagine someone who could deal with all of me because there are a lot of parts. 

Absolutely and turn on the forehand. That's another favorite exercise of mine. It improved connection, leg yield, and shoulder in.

There really are. There are good and bad people, men and women can be awful. Some of my guys friends dated some truly awful women. Like ones who claimed to be pregnant and weren't and were total psychos. They were legitimately nice guys and not bullsters. And he was just odd. I wrote off a lot of it as "smart people" quirks which I'm used to but I look back and they were all the signs of psychopathy. One thing he said and there is no doubt in my mind. He doesn't feel empathy, remorse and he's not really human in the way I define humanity. They're very logical and systematic in their breakdown of their partners. They don't directly say anything but it's hard to explain.

He really does, especially in person when he's braided up. And she does look a lot more araby then he does but they also can look pretty different in person vs photographs. Izzy's very pretty!

I rode him yesterday but not wednesday. I had to study for a final :lol:
______________________

And yep. It could be a big horse girls party!


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## Tazzie

Ugh, I hate those rides! I think you and I are in the exact same spot right now, and it sucks. I know he's sensitive, but come on dude. You aren't a baby anymore. I hope there isn't anything going on other than him just rebelling against work. I have full faith he'll be better when he has more to do, but the getting there is tough.

Yup. The world lacks a lot of discipline, guiding, and goal setting. So many kids are pushed toward college that the trade jobs are hurting. Soon, plumbers and electricians will be costing a lot more since there won't be anyone doing it. Least, that is what Nick has been hearing, and he's in that kind of field. Honestly, I'd be interested in hearing all about gene expression, how our DNA changes, etc. I AM a science nerd after all :lol: and I work with RNA and DNA on a regular basis to see how our products alter it. So.... I'd be fascinated :lol: and that guy sounds just so strange.... I know some great guys, but they are not the super smart guys. Our friend/barn owner is about as sweet, honest, and true as they come. He only says what he means, doesn't play games, etc. So there are still fabulous guys out there. I often wonder how he's still single because he's cute to boot :lol:

Yup, that is a good one!

That's why I'm super cautious with people :lol: they normally need to prove they are real before I'd trust them. People are crazy haha! And he just sounds so dang odd.

He is handsome regardless :lol: he's just a little tank and I love it! I'm totally ok with half Arabs not looking like Arabs :lol: especially when compared to what is in the halter ring right now.

I hope finals are going well!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Exactly! Stop being a brat we're asking for so little and when things are challenging it's not ridiculously challenging. It's all within his range of comfort. I don't know. Super frustrating, these dam baby arabs!! I think so too. I think he does better when he has more to occupy him but sometimes he's just a brat. But you know all about how that goes :lol:

They really-really do. And lack accountability and responsibility, always blame the next person. But I absolutely agree there is going to be a shortage in trades jobs because people go to school rather than developing a skill. But seriously a lot of those guys make more money than college graduates, especially if they have experience and are good at it. It's not unusual for an electrician to make 80k which is the same as an electrical engineer. 

And I'm glad you're a huge science nerd, I'm sure you'd have great input too!! I just find how our DNA replicates is fascinating and that each time it replicates it isn't a perfect copy. Like in theory two blued eyed people should always produced blue eyed babies but because the DNA doesn't always replicate properly, sometimes (though rare) the child will have brown eyes because the gene that determines eye color didn't replicate properly. It's just neat to me because it's responsible for SO many changes. And is just random because of how chromosomes split and how the Dna replicates and what genes are turned on or off. So cool :lol:

Yeah there are definitely some great guys out there. I just think it's easier for people when they're in the normal range to find someone that fits them (it's better to be in range than always considered "too" much of something) and when you're someone like me. People might enjoy you, people might like you but they don't want to be with you and the guys don't want a woman like me. I'm too a lot of things and too smart is what I've heard a lot but they never phrase it like that, they just want someone with more traditional female characteristics. Damsel in distress, they want to feel needed and have someone wrapped around their finger that they can control and makes them feel like a big, strong man while they go to work and the woman owes them. I know they're not all like that, Nick doesn't sound like that and my guy friends werent those types but you dont always know and they don't always know why they do what they do. They'll take superficial and shallow over someone who they consider "threatening" or intimidating by just being me. Not mean or rude or condescending, just they don't like not feeling like the smartest person in the room or controlling the situation. I'm a lot like Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing and I need a Benedick I can banter with and who appreciates creative and clever insults because I'm an expert at backhanded compliments :lol: I just know how to pick them when it comes to guys. lol I am bitter to the whole thing. The lying, the cheating, the deception, the games I don't know if I could ever risk going through that again. I think I'd have to be institutionalized, I really don't think I have it in me to take it one more time. It's fine if it just doesn't work out but the high is never worth the pain or loss of faith in humanity or yourself. 

He really was pretty odd and I agree. People usually have to prove themselves but sometimes you just don't pick up on it until it's too late. Sometimes they're really good liars, frauds and feign absolutely everything, so nothing they say means anything because everything they say is a ploy to manipulate and induce your trust in them. You don't always feel alarm bells, they're very good at dissembling them. I read an article from an FBI criminal profiler who talked about people like Ted Bundy who was a psychopath and the people who know them and are there friends for years often have no idea what they are because they're so good at "faking" being human. And no my ex's aren't killers as far as I know but think of Ted Bundy types. Successful, professionals, highly intelligent, attractive, charismatic, but cold and cruel. You notice them but looking back you don't know if anything they said or the stories they shared are remotely true. And it shocks you to what extent people can seem SO genuine and real and not be at all.

But thank you. He's a pretty powerful little dude! I am too when they don't look like arabs. As long as they're good horses! 

Thank you. Me too! Next week are the rest of my finals. Just the one this week.


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## DanteDressageNerd

With Dante's "naughtiness" and I actually feel pretty bad for him because everybody thinks he's a total @ss hole and to be honest he can be but he's really a sweet, good boy too. Even Pam who thinks almost no horses are @ss holes but a few, thinks he's an @ss. She's worked with super quirky horses and is a fabulous handler/rider/trainer. 

I'm having the vet look at him on Tuesday. I've felt like his right hind isn't right since the show but I mentioned it to Pam but to be honest with my sensory issues and how sensitive I am (I'm as sensitive as Dante) so sometimes I don't know whether it's in my head or I'm really picking up on something. But my gut says something is going on with the right hind. I think it's mostly in his back because I lunged him yesterday and when engaged he really can't engage a certain spot of muscle that is in his lower back. It just doesn't move right. Vet says to keep him in work until he looks at him on Tuesday. I also asked to have his right leg looked at because that's his weaker leg and the one he had the stifle issue on when he was growing. Most likely going to inject the muscle, I don't know what with we're going to evaluate our options then. And Dante LOVES Mark (the vet), he also loves the chiropractor. He likes eccentric but kind people. He gave Mark nose kisses. He was looking at his back and Dante twists his head around to put his nose in Mark's face and I said he wants a kiss, so he kissed his nose. Dante loves nose kisses. 

Was really funny I called the vet, who is a sporthorse vet and specializes in soundness type issues. He used to be an event rider and was a golf buddy of my fathers so we've known each other for a while and get along really-really well. We're misfits of the Nerd Kingdom and bounce off humor really well off each other. But I gave him a call and I was being...well me, so I was super formal and left a message explaining who I was and what I wanted and he calls me back like "Cassie I love how you leave me a message like I don't know who you are," and I said "well you have a lot of clients, I wasn't sure if you had forgotten me" and he laughed and said, "forget you? I'm not sure I could forget you if I tried." So I replied, "that is true, you're pretty distinct yourself," and he was like, "is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I said, "both." We're both odd ducks but in a harmless way. Just eccentric people who get each other's quirky, unique, eccentric qualities. He's knew me as a teen, when I would hide behind things to avoid awkward social situations I didn't know how to navigate and just a lot of stuff I probably don't remember since it's been a long while. But he's as odd as I am, so he can't judge just playfully harass one another with back handed compliments and battles of insulting wit. He has a great sense of humor, we have a good time. We're eccentric, quirky but VERY pragmatic, logical and professional when we need to be.

I've also started Ritalin, the other stuff didnt work for me at all. So far I like ritalin a lot better. I'm usually not for medicating ADHD but I have it pretty bad. It is physically painful and takes everything I have to sit down and read long narratives and it takes me forever because my brain jumps around so much. I'm chronically multitasking which isn't effective at all. Focus is a really big issues for me. But so far I like the ritalin because I don't feel like I'm in a fog or doped up, dull and dumb. I feel alert and aware but more focused. We're still playing with dosages but it's helping. 

This summer after finals next week, I've designed a curriculum for myself to stick to. I have to structure my days week by week and make a schedule or I won't adhere to it. I bought a bunch of colored pens and highlighters to help me organize and focus. I'm mostly doing a kind of math curriculum and emphasizing computers because there is so much depth and scope and I really want to dive in and get really good. I'm hoping I can get obsessive with it because if I can I think I'll become very proficient, relatively quickly. I have a very distinct learning style, it's REALLY hard for me to learn things with so much versatility and differing structure but once I have it and REALLY, thoroughly get it. I'll really make it my own and usually understand it to a depth others do not and can play with it because I really get it. It's hard to explain, it just takes me longer to get to that point and is not a bonus in the schoolhouse which rewards book smart abilities or "repeat, regurgitate but don't have to internally understand." I also have a really hard time with sarcasm, I can definitely pick up on it and be very sarcastic myself but if I'm in serious, professional mode it goes over my head and I take it literally because I recognize sarcasm through logical cues. I've learned how to explain it better so people understand I don't think like a normal person, I'm not bad but I have aspergers. I'm really weird about colors, certain sounds and textures and I just think about things differently and it's really hard to explain. 

This is a really good article about girls and autism and why it's different. I've had a few people read this. It's about why aspergers and autism appears differently in girls and why it's SO hard and takes so much longer for females to get a diagnosis. 

Autism--It's Different in Girls - Scientific American

And Dante has a new pasture buddy named Dooley. He is an 18.2h 20yr old warmbloods who in my eyes is AMAZING because he's such a big horse (he is every bit 18.2h) who had a rough life with heavy work and is still sound. So amazing to me and Dante is a cm shy of 16h. So I think it's funny to see them together.




The vet did this to Dante while he was sedated once :lol:




And dogs since I've never shown them. Daisy is a labxhusky and Reagan is a Shiba inu (male)


Athena

Lyla


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## whisperbaby22

Interesting, but I do think that "normal" is only something that these people have made up. We all have our foibles.


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## Wallaby

DanteDressageNerd said:


> I've also started Ritalin, the other stuff didnt work for me at all. So far I like ritalin a lot better. I'm usually not for medicating ADHD but I have it pretty bad. It is physically painful and takes everything I have to sit down and read long narratives and it takes me forever because my brain jumps around so much. I'm chronically multitasking which isn't effective at all. Focus is a really big issues for me. But so far I like the ritalin because I don't feel like I'm in a fog or doped up, dull and dumb. I feel alert and aware but more focused. We're still playing with dosages but it's helping.


I'm on Ritalin too! Yay for being Quarab-owning, Ritalin-taking buddies! :lol:

I hear you on the whole medicating Ritalin thing. I was super skeptical about it initially and I definitely don't think medication is right for everyone with ADD/ADHD, but for me, medication is SO the right choice.
I essentially got diagnosed with ADHD and got prescribed Ritalin in one sitting, but I had been in counseling for extreme anxiety/panic attacks for over 2 years without seeing changes [and my counselor is really good at her job, she's not messing around]. My therapist suggested that I might have ADHD and told me to talk to my doctor about it. I took the little test thing and they were like "uh yeah, there's no question, you absolutely have ADHD."
:rofl:
So I was prescribed medication mostly to see if it helped the anxiety and helped me be able to function as a human again.

Now my anxiety is sooo much more under control. I still have occasional attacks and I tend to get over-stimulated really easily still, but it's 100 times better than it was. Right now Fabio is a huge trigger for me, but I can recognize that and work through it in a way I never could have, pre-medication.

A lot of people with ADD/ADHD don't need medication to function well [my brother is one of them], but some people [like us] really need it! 
My life has improved SO much in the 8 months since I started medication. I don't think there's a sum of money on the planet that could make me want to go back to my life before Ritalin.


I don't know, I just don't think one-size-fits-all disease management is the way to go. A lot of people really judged me for starting mediation, but I figure that they weren't experiencing the mental/physical anguish I experienced before starting medication. They can talk all they want about how I shouldn't medicate because it's not natural, or whatever, but they were not in my body with me then and they aren't in my body now, so they have no say.
I'm thrilled for the people who don't need help, but thrilled that I have the help I need.

*rant over*

:rofl:


----------



## DanteDressageNerd

I definitely agree everyone has their quirks but I think "normal" is a relative term of most people fall into a certain range of what be considered normal or "neurotypical." I think there is a range to what people consider "normal" and acceptable and what they consider odd or eccentric or an acquired taste.

lol I like it. Quarab owning, ritalin ADHD buddies :lol: but that funny they were like yeah you definitely had ADHD, no doubt about that one :lol:

Sometimes medication really makes a huge difference! And I'm really happy it helped you with your anxiety! Anxiety is painful and it's super hard to explain to people why you can't cope with pressure/stress the way they can. I have a friend whose still in the Marines with bad anxiety and other stuff but they don't get why she can't cope and she gets frustrated because she can't. And can't control that aspect about herself. Before and early on in the Marine Corps I definitely had anxiety issues that actually was why I was dropped from my first military schoolhouse (long story and think of military schools like accelerated learning college classes, they're HARD like maybe 3hrs a day to yourself to eat, shower, and dress between sleep and classes, projects and studying; no days off) high 90-100s on the tests but I unked one brief and they said I didn't have it. I thank God they did, I'd have hated the job. Too much guess work and making things up, while seeming so confident without the certainty. And I'm useless liar, couldnt bs to save my life. But later on, I think I got so used to the pressure and stress it more or less got beat out of me but my cause for the anxiety is likely different because now when I should be stressed and anxious, I just get really calm and numb or not responsive which is kinda bad because you should feel a certain amount of pressure or stress with certain things but I'm just like no one's dying. We're all good. But I'm glad the meds helped you. Anxiety isn't easy to live with and you can't explain it to people who aren't willing to understand or can't. It's not a will power, mind over matter issue, it's a very genuine issues that's frustrating and debilitating because your cage is your mind.

But I hear you. My psychiatrist I originally made an appointment with for bipolar disorder (original diagnosis by different Dr and psychologist) and treating that because my depression was getting so bad. But she doesn't think the issue is bipolar. She thinks those issues are from a mixture of anxiety and depression, it just doesn't display in a typical way for anxiety. And of course ADHD and aspergers. But ADHD is common with aspergers and autism.

I sometimes just find it funny the stigma attached to medication because to me it's a quality of life issue and if you've tried and fought your whole life something you can't over come. Something else needs to be done. And things like anxiety, depression, ADHD, bipolar, etc at physical and chemical differences in the brain. There is something very real and mechanically happening that's causing the "problems" so why not do what works to help?My sister is on medication for depression, she has to take it. It has made the biggest difference in her quality of life. But the reason people have these issues symptoms sometimes varies and responds better to different types of treatment but I don't know, I just see it as we have the right to make ourselves healthy. Even with the stigma attached and people who are so quick to condemn can get off their high horse because I guarantee if they had to experience the same struggles, they couldn't cope half as well. Those kind of struggles make you have to master yourself in a way you don't have to if you're not dealing with varying illnesses. Self management is a big one and knowing what triggers "episodes" or gets you going down that path and how to pull out. It doesn't "control" it but it helps minimize or at least that's been my experience :lol:

No rant is alright :lol: we're all different and have different causes for why we experience the symptoms we do. I'm just glad we're becoming more aware and informed as a society, so people who really need the help can get it without being ostracized or written off. I think there is an issue with over diagnosis of things and people being so quick to medicate before trying alternatives but good things are happening too! Sorry I'm passionate about mental health and general awareness :lol: I absolutely think there should be a required class on abnormal psychology in highschool about various mental illnesses or differences in how the brain develops/is and how they impact people, etc. I think awareness and people being willing to seek help, if they need it is important.


----------



## frlsgirl

Agreed on the medication Cass! When I first moved to the states in 1994, I was so full of anxiety I couldn't leave my apartment unless I had someone with me; I couldn't drive a car because I was so anxious; I got to a point where I could drive a car but only for a few miles and I had to stop every 2 miles or so to use the restroom because I was physically sick from my anxiety. 

That's when I decided to seek help and was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder aka GAD with panic disorder. I've tried all kinds of meds and therapies over the years and I'm now functioning normally on a low dose of Zoloft; and I always have Xanax in my purse for emergencies such as flying, death in the family, horse shows, etc. 

That's where my weight problems started as most of these meds make you gain weight; when I initially started though, I was skinny as a rail and probably needed to gain 5 pounds but ended up gaining 25!

Over the last couple of years my diagnosis was revised to GAD with ADHD features; I tried Ridalyn but it made me feel like I was going crazy.

After doing some more research, I discovered that there is a group of people called empaths or highly sensitive people - there are several books on this matter including "The highly sensitive person" - which describes me to a T. It even says that most HSP end up functioning well on Zoloft and stumble upon it by being misdiagnosed with anxiety disorders. I was like "Mind Blown!"

Basically, HSPs pick up other people's energy and can't cope with it; and feel the pain that others feel. For example, I tried to go off Zoloft a few years ago and I would have a nervous breakdown because I saw a dead squirrel by the side of the road; because I could feel the squirrels pain and devastation as it died; it still affects me now but I can usually continue on with my day. I can't watch those commercials with abused animals; I will jump up and freak out and demand to change the channel or I will cover my ears like a 5 year old and start screaming. 

I know it's weird; but that's me. I'm hoping I can use this gift/burden in a positive way one day. It's already helping me with Ana and other horses as well; when I was riding for that gold medalist, I wasn't very skilled at the time and she rarely had anything positive to say about me at all except that I seem to have a calming effect on her horses, which is why she let me ride the the two hotter ones.


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## whisperbaby22

For some reason my posts keep getting lost - perhaps it is the new format. I tried to put up a photo and it took forever, so I will wait on that kind of stuff until they get things sorted out. I am trying to keep my responses short, I am following along and am so impressed with the riders that come to this thread.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Exactly! Stop being a brat we're asking for so little and when things are challenging it's not ridiculously challenging. It's all within his range of comfort. I don't know. Super frustrating, these dam baby arabs!! I think so too. I think he does better when he has more to occupy him but sometimes he's just a brat. But you know all about how that goes :lol:
> 
> They really-really do. And lack accountability and responsibility, always blame the next person. But I absolutely agree there is going to be a shortage in trades jobs because people go to school rather than developing a skill. But seriously a lot of those guys make more money than college graduates, especially if they have experience and are good at it. It's not unusual for an electrician to make 80k which is the same as an electrical engineer.
> 
> And I'm glad you're a huge science nerd, I'm sure you'd have great input too!! I just find how our DNA replicates is fascinating and that each time it replicates it isn't a perfect copy. Like in theory two blued eyed people should always produced blue eyed babies but because the DNA doesn't always replicate properly, sometimes (though rare) the child will have brown eyes because the gene that determines eye color didn't replicate properly. It's just neat to me because it's responsible for SO many changes. And is just random because of how chromosomes split and how the Dna replicates and what genes are turned on or off. So cool :lol:
> 
> Yeah there are definitely some great guys out there. I just think it's easier for people when they're in the normal range to find someone that fits them (it's better to be in range than always considered "too" much of something) and when you're someone like me. People might enjoy you, people might like you but they don't want to be with you and the guys don't want a woman like me. I'm too a lot of things and too smart is what I've heard a lot but they never phrase it like that, they just want someone with more traditional female characteristics. Damsel in distress, they want to feel needed and have someone wrapped around their finger that they can control and makes them feel like a big, strong man while they go to work and the woman owes them. I know they're not all like that, Nick doesn't sound like that and my guy friends werent those types but you dont always know and they don't always know why they do what they do. They'll take superficial and shallow over someone who they consider "threatening" or intimidating by just being me. Not mean or rude or condescending, just they don't like not feeling like the smartest person in the room or controlling the situation. I'm a lot like Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing and I need a Benedick I can banter with and who appreciates creative and clever insults because I'm an expert at backhanded compliments :lol: I just know how to pick them when it comes to guys. lol I am bitter to the whole thing. The lying, the cheating, the deception, the games I don't know if I could ever risk going through that again. I think I'd have to be institutionalized, I really don't think I have it in me to take it one more time. It's fine if it just doesn't work out but the high is never worth the pain or loss of faith in humanity or yourself.
> 
> He really was pretty odd and I agree. People usually have to prove themselves but sometimes you just don't pick up on it until it's too late. Sometimes they're really good liars, frauds and feign absolutely everything, so nothing they say means anything because everything they say is a ploy to manipulate and induce your trust in them. You don't always feel alarm bells, they're very good at dissembling them. I read an article from an FBI criminal profiler who talked about people like Ted Bundy who was a psychopath and the people who know them and are there friends for years often have no idea what they are because they're so good at "faking" being human. And no my ex's aren't killers as far as I know but think of Ted Bundy types. Successful, professionals, highly intelligent, attractive, charismatic, but cold and cruel. You notice them but looking back you don't know if anything they said or the stories they shared are remotely true. And it shocks you to what extent people can seem SO genuine and real and not be at all.
> 
> But thank you. He's a pretty powerful little dude! I am too when they don't look like arabs. As long as they're good horses!
> 
> Thank you. Me too! Next week are the rest of my finals. Just the one this week.


I sure do :lol: right now, these half Arabs are driving me crazy :lol:

Nick isn't quite that high, but he is double what I make. And I'm the one with the college education. We intend to tell the kids to pick a career or pick a trade. They have to do something once they graduate (have 15 years till that, thank goodness!)

Yeah, my mom is still in the era of blue eyed people can only have blue (or other non dominate color) eyes. But Nick's cousin's wife has brown eyes and both parents have blue. Mom still doesn't believe it, though genetics have shown to mutate. She just doesn't get the science side of things! But yeah, I love science things :lol:

It is unfortunate that guys that a lot of guys will pass up great girls just because they aren't what they perceive as normal. In my opinion, no one is normal. Boring maybe, but not normal :lol:

I know all about liars and frauds.... good riddance to bad rubbish is my motto :lol:

I'm glad this is your last week of finals!!

Poor Dante with his back though :sad: I do hope it feels better SOON. I do agree with keeping him in work until he sees him. I hope something can be done for him!

And I'm glad you're feeling a lot better! I'm pro-medication as needed! And if it helps, then I say keep on with it!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I'm REALLY REALLY tired. I'm still adjusting to the ritalin and not sleeping well but completed 2 finals yesterday and my last one is on thursday (much luck needed on that one, SUPER HARD) I was thrilled with a C on my last test and Im usually an A student :lol: My Professor said I got one of the highest test grades on my last math test which made me pretty happy. 

I saw Dante yesterday and his back was bad. I almost cried, he had two days off and the muscles were super tight on the right. After I lunged him they were SO SO much better but there is no doubt in my mind he's probably going to need a back injection to get those muscles to loosen up. Massage can only do so much. I really think it's from using his old saddle for so long because it changes the muscle memory and I think the muscles were affected/damaged for a while and it just needs to be addressed. I don't know if we're doing the really expensive one (3-400 dollars) or the cheap one (125ish). The expensive one is a lot better but it depends on how bad Mark thinks his back is and what he thinks Dante needs. I trust him. He's never tried to sell me on something he didn't think a horse really needed and he doesn't scam people out of paying for something they dont need. *crossed fingers* we'll know in a few hours.
___________________________________________

Tanja- I'm really glad you sought help with your anxiety. That sounds crippling! I couldn't even imagine what it's like but I do know how terribly anxiety can wear down your body and how sick it can make you! I had stomach ulcers for a reason! I think sometimes people dont realize how serious anxiety can be. 

With medication it definitely depends on your brain chemistry and what works for you. But I'm really-really happy you found what worked for you.

I've heard of empaths and known a few people like that, I have some qualities of it but I wouldn't consider myself one. But that could definitely be apart of why your anxiety was so bad. You felt too strongly the things around you. But there are qualities of being a very sensitive person that help, especially with animals. Like you said that trainer said you have a calming effect on the hotter horses and were able to ride them. Although it may have other effects that make it hard to function but definitely with medication. I feel like a lot of times it just gives you the resources to "cope" or handle what's going on or help so that you can be in control vs feeling helpless. 

I think there are definitely positives to being highly sensitive. I think people like that tend to be better with sensitive animals and animals that need to be "understood." Thank you for sharing your story! It's really interesting!! It's good to be different, it provides different insight!
_________________________________

Whisperbaby22- it's all good. I've moved most of my photos to photobucket so I can post them and not rely on the picture uploader on the forum. It works well. I think there are a lot of really neat people on this forum and it's interesting as we get to know each other and how journeys are going. Life struggles and over coming them.
_________________________________

Katie- lol no worries me too! They're SO SO SO sensitive and not very stoic but at least they tell us :lol:

It definitely depends on region too but they do very well! And that's really good advice, pick a trade or college because you have to do something. And that is true. You still have time but as my mom always tells me, it goes by pretty fast!

lol I think sometimes people get really planted in with the information they grew up hearing/knowing and have a hard time adjusting or taking in new ideas from what they traditionally thought. But definitely genes do mutate and I guess underneath the blue eyed gene is the brown eyes gene so if it improperly replicates that's the default setting. I'm curious with my genes because I have green eyes if it works the same.

I kinda define normal as a range of what's acceptable behavior to people or not. I think there is definitely a normal range of behavior and set of behavior that is abnormal but not as a finite line. Like a spectrum :lol: I think part of it to is I can be overwhelming and I'm smart in a way that sometimes intimidates or scares people. I remember I'd get introduced as encyclopedia or genius. I'm not and it's not intentional, I'm just passionate and like learning and exploring new ideas. I'm very articulate (most of the time) sometimes I have a hard time explaining my ideas and I have a hard time navigating things socially. With the guys I dated I think the main issue is they couldn't control me, I didn't play their game as they wanted because they weren't able to manipulate me the way they wanted to. Like the engineer with how he does it, I think he needs a woman he has enough lee way to manipulate/control the situation in a very subtle way so the woman has the illusion of independence and respect or at least that's what I gather from how he was with me and how he'd react when I'd question him. I'm VERY sensitive to cues and pick up on things a lot of people dont (usually, not always) psychopaths have made it an art form to feign authenticity. But with guys like that, they NEED to be top dog at all times. They need to feel like the smartest person in the room and they may never "say" anything but in themselves they need to feel "superior" and if they're not, they cut the cord. They need to be able to control/manipulate their partner, they have to be able to predict you and they may predict your actions but hard to predict your thoughts if you have a very unusual thought process, thinking patterns. They don't empathize, they dont feel compassion or love but they make a good impression of it. It's complicated.

But definitely with all of them I'm thanking God and all my lucky stars that I didn't get sucked into it with any of them to the point where we were engaged or looking at getting married or any of those big life things. Really thankful. I mean it was REALLY painful and it effects me but at least I'm not under someone and can't figure out what's going on because the ones I've dated they control/manipulate in a very indirect way. Like you're a puppet but don't feel the strings, if that makes sense? 

Me too! I hope the vet has a simple fix that will make him feel better and fix the problem. I'm not into "cover ups" but real therapy.

Absolutely! I don't think medication should be the first thing people consider but it definitely shouldn't be written off when it's exactly what someone needs.
_____________________

Pictures. nothing special. Gave my bridle a really good clean like toothbrush, take everything apart and scrub then cover in lederbalsam.


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## Tihannah

So sorry to hear about Dante's back. Poor guy can't get a break! Hopefully, the fix won't cost you a fortune. I finally managed to find an affordable chiro for Tess and she's coming out on Friday to have a look at her. I don't want to keep pushing canter on the left lead if her left hind is off. Please keep us posted on his appt.!
It has to be frustrating going through all these pain issues with him. :-(


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## frlsgirl

Just ordered a can of Passier Lederbalsam; I hear that stuff works like magic.


----------



## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> I'm REALLY REALLY tired. I'm still adjusting to the ritalin and not sleeping well but completed 2 finals yesterday and my last one is on thursday (much luck needed on that one, SUPER HARD) I was thrilled with a C on my last test and Im usually an A student :lol: My Professor said I got one of the highest test grades on my last math test which made me pretty happy.
> 
> I saw Dante yesterday and his back was bad. I almost cried, he had two days off and the muscles were super tight on the right. After I lunged him they were SO SO much better but there is no doubt in my mind he's probably going to need a back injection to get those muscles to loosen up. Massage can only do so much. I really think it's from using his old saddle for so long because it changes the muscle memory and I think the muscles were affected/damaged for a while and it just needs to be addressed. I don't know if we're doing the really expensive one (3-400 dollars) or the cheap one (125ish). The expensive one is a lot better but it depends on how bad Mark thinks his back is and what he thinks Dante needs. I trust him. He's never tried to sell me on something he didn't think a horse really needed and he doesn't scam people out of paying for something they dont need. *crossed fingers* we'll know in a few hours.
> ___________________________________________
> 
> 
> Katie- lol no worries me too! They're SO SO SO sensitive and not very stoic but at least they tell us :lol:
> 
> It definitely depends on region too but they do very well! And that's really good advice, pick a trade or college because you have to do something. And that is true. You still have time but as my mom always tells me, it goes by pretty fast!
> 
> lol I think sometimes people get really planted in with the information they grew up hearing/knowing and have a hard time adjusting or taking in new ideas from what they traditionally thought. But definitely genes do mutate and I guess underneath the blue eyed gene is the brown eyes gene so if it improperly replicates that's the default setting. I'm curious with my genes because I have green eyes if it works the same.
> 
> I kinda define normal as a range of what's acceptable behavior to people or not. I think there is definitely a normal range of behavior and set of behavior that is abnormal but not as a finite line. Like a spectrum :lol: I think part of it to is I can be overwhelming and I'm smart in a way that sometimes intimidates or scares people. I remember I'd get introduced as encyclopedia or genius. I'm not and it's not intentional, I'm just passionate and like learning and exploring new ideas. I'm very articulate (most of the time) sometimes I have a hard time explaining my ideas and I have a hard time navigating things socially. With the guys I dated I think the main issue is they couldn't control me, I didn't play their game as they wanted because they weren't able to manipulate me the way they wanted to. Like the engineer with how he does it, I think he needs a woman he has enough lee way to manipulate/control the situation in a very subtle way so the woman has the illusion of independence and respect or at least that's what I gather from how he was with me and how he'd react when I'd question him. I'm VERY sensitive to cues and pick up on things a lot of people dont (usually, not always) psychopaths have made it an art form to feign authenticity. But with guys like that, they NEED to be top dog at all times. They need to feel like the smartest person in the room and they may never "say" anything but in themselves they need to feel "superior" and if they're not, they cut the cord. They need to be able to control/manipulate their partner, they have to be able to predict you and they may predict your actions but hard to predict your thoughts if you have a very unusual thought process, thinking patterns. They don't empathize, they dont feel compassion or love but they make a good impression of it. It's complicated.
> 
> But definitely with all of them I'm thanking God and all my lucky stars that I didn't get sucked into it with any of them to the point where we were engaged or looking at getting married or any of those big life things. Really thankful. I mean it was REALLY painful and it effects me but at least I'm not under someone and can't figure out what's going on because the ones I've dated they control/manipulate in a very indirect way. Like you're a puppet but don't feel the strings, if that makes sense?
> 
> Me too! I hope the vet has a simple fix that will make him feel better and fix the problem. I'm not into "cover ups" but real therapy.
> 
> Absolutely! I don't think medication should be the first thing people consider but it definitely shouldn't be written off when it's exactly what someone needs.
> _____________________
> 
> Pictures. nothing special. Gave my bridle a really good clean like toothbrush, take everything apart and scrub then cover in lederbalsam.


I'm sorry you're tired and still adjusting to the ritalin :sad: hopefully you'll feel better soon! YAY for only one final and a paper to go!! Exciting! Taking summer classes or taking the summer off?

Poor Dante :sad: I hope he's getting taken care of now. Or soon or has already been seen at this point. That just sounds painful. I'm glad you're doing something for it though! I'm VERY glad you have a vet that takes care of you like that too!

That is true! These guys hide NOTHING from us! Sometimes you just want to tell them to buck up :lol: but then you find something and you feel bad. I totally get it.

Definitely varies by region. Though, to be blunt, he deserves to be paid what he does. Or more. You won't see my butt out there when the power goes out in a massive rainstorm, but the power has to be back on. Typically, they DO try and wait until the rain is gone. But, they can't always wait. And these aren't tiny cables either. It's definitely flying by!

Well, typically with the brown eyes that gene is dominate, whereas blue is recessive. Which is why it was always believed that blue eyed people couldn't have a brown eyed child since they no longer carried that gene. I believe that blue and hazel are the most recessive, brown is the most dominate, and I'm not entirely sure where green falls. I'd guess with the blue/hazel crowd, but I don't know. Brown eyed children from blue eyed parents would most likely be a mutation, unless there has been new research I haven't read yet (and I haven't studied it to be honest; but it wouldn't surprise me if it was a mutation). Gotta love genetics and all the mutations, incomplete dominance, etc :lol:

And see, I consider all of our quirks to keep us out of being normal :lol: everyone has quirks, so I guess in theory we're normal since we're all different.

Any man that wants to control you in that sense, is not a man in my opinion. Not one to be around at all at least. I'm VERY glad you didn't get sucked into any of that either!! SO much easier to walk away from a boyfriend than a marriage. Men who treat woman like puppets should be gelded and not allowed to reproduce.

I still love your browband!! It's just so pretty!! I've never tried the Lederbalsam though :lol:


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## frlsgirl

DanteDressageNerd said:


> I saw Dante yesterday and his back was bad. I almost cried, he had two days off and the muscles were super tight on the right. After I lunged him they were SO SO much better but there is no doubt in my mind he's probably going to need a back injection to get those muscles to loosen up. Massage can only do so much. I really think it's from using his old saddle for so long because it changes the muscle memory and I think the muscles were affected/damaged for a while and it just needs to be addressed. I don't know if we're doing the really expensive one (3-400 dollars) or the cheap one (125ish). The expensive one is a lot better but it depends on how bad Mark thinks his back is and what he thinks Dante needs. I trust him. He's never tried to sell me on something he didn't think a horse really needed and he doesn't scam people out of paying for something they dont need. *crossed fingers* we'll know in a few hours.


Poor Dante...dumb question...how did you know that his back was tight? Does he twitch when you brush him? Can you feel muscle spasms when you lay your hand on his back? Just trying to learn.

Also, and I don't know if this works the same for people as for horses, but my doctor suggested injecting an anti-inflammatory directly into my shoulder, I wonder if that can be done for horse's as well? I would think that an anti-inflammatory would be cheaper than a relaxant. Anyway, just random thought.


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## DanteDressageNerd

On Dante. We had a fairly long vet visit. We checked him for soundness and I kept saying it's his back. Legs are fine but his back is bad, mostly to the right and where I said :lol: I told Mark he must know at this point I'm always right.

So we did meso therapy which is about 300 plus sedation (Dante had his ears clipped). At this point I already know, all my money/resources go straight to him. I've spent at least 25-30k on him since I bought him. He's a high maintenance fella. I really think that saddle damaged his back and why he really had to have this therapy done to start over with his back. I opted for meso because it's better and I don't want to have to re-inject him. If his back isnt' okay after this we're going to ultrasound and look because he had fairly recent x rays of his back that are totally clean. No kissing spine *knock on wood*

Burlington Equine Veterinary Services, LLC

I rode him for the exam which was interesting since I haven't ridden him since Thursday? He was better than he's been but definitely had to address some things and he was a little bit of a brat but not a total stinker, so I was proud of him. I am officially used to being in a saddle again :lol: he really couldnt sit in canter so his canter was terrible to ride, he really couldn't collect in the dressage sense, could definitely be together but if you asked him to collect he'd just brace and tense in his lower back near his croup and under my leg. I pushed through it and he actually rode pretty well but you could definitely see he wasn't 100% when I'd gather up or transition or in the canter because he just can't get his hind legs under and collect or sit because he doesn't want to engage his back. His back hurts. But we found his legs are fine. It's just his back.







And I found this picture from last summer when I helped break this little horse (actually he's 16.2h). I sometimes look at these pictures and I'm like I didn't realize I was that blonde or that white :lol: ANd I do have long legs which is why I'm glad Dante has a barrel to eat them up. 



Me on Magellan who is 16.2-3h? Kinda crazy this was 6yrs ago. He was a tb I rehabbed.




______________________________

Tina- he really doesn't. We're always treating him for something it feels like. I spent $1000 treating for EPM. $1000 on diagnostics and treatments. And then today was at least $500, so I'm a little like poof goes the money which once lived in the bank. You thought you had saving *poof* you were going to invest that? *poof* 

I hope the chiropractor does a good job and helps Tessa!
______________________

Tanja- there are a lot of good ledbalsam products. I really liked the effol, effax lederbalsam because it is more oily and soaks into the leather better. Right now I have the lederbalsam from trilogy and it's really-really good but I have to heat it in the microwave to get it easier to apply and massage into the leather to get the heat from friction so it doesn't sit on top and melts in but I think they're all good products!! But I will say the shine that comes from the trilogy stuff is amazing to me and the softening.

On his back what I do is take my fingers tips (never the nails or anything pointy or sharp) and run it down his back slowly. I start at the top his wither and slowly run my fingers along his back watching how the muscle moves/react, it should ripple. And feel changes in his back likes areas where the muscles are hard/knotted/or indents or anything I feel that isn't "normal" and move towards his croup. I usually stand on a stool so I can watch the muscle better. Then I go down about an inch and a half and do the same thing and repeat about 3-4 times. I use some pressure but I don't lean my weight in or press down hard. 

No thank you for the idea. Always something to think about. I chose to do meso therapy which from what I understand is an ant inflammatory. We're also keeping him on methocarbamol which is a muscle relaxant for a little while.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> I'm sorry you're tired and still adjusting to the ritalin :sad: hopefully you'll feel better soon! YAY for only one final and a paper to go!! Exciting! Taking summer classes or taking the summer off?
> 
> Poor Dante :sad: I hope he's getting taken care of now. Or soon or has already been seen at this point. That just sounds painful. I'm glad you're doing something for it though! I'm VERY glad you have a vet that takes care of you like that too!
> 
> That is true! These guys hide NOTHING from us! Sometimes you just want to tell them to buck up :lol: but then you find something and you feel bad. I totally get it.
> 
> Definitely varies by region. Though, to be blunt, he deserves to be paid what he does. Or more. You won't see my butt out there when the power goes out in a massive rainstorm, but the power has to be back on. Typically, they DO try and wait until the rain is gone. But, they can't always wait. And these aren't tiny cables either. It's definitely flying by!
> 
> Well, typically with the brown eyes that gene is dominate, whereas blue is recessive. Which is why it was always believed that blue eyed people couldn't have a brown eyed child since they no longer carried that gene. I believe that blue and hazel are the most recessive, brown is the most dominate, and I'm not entirely sure where green falls. I'd guess with the blue/hazel crowd, but I don't know. Brown eyed children from blue eyed parents would most likely be a mutation, unless there has been new research I haven't read yet (and I haven't studied it to be honest; but it wouldn't surprise me if it was a mutation). Gotta love genetics and all the mutations, incomplete dominance, etc :lol:
> 
> And see, I consider all of our quirks to keep us out of being normal :lol: everyone has quirks, so I guess in theory we're normal since we're all different.
> 
> Any man that wants to control you in that sense, is not a man in my opinion. Not one to be around at all at least. I'm VERY glad you didn't get sucked into any of that either!! SO much easier to walk away from a boyfriend than a marriage. Men who treat woman like puppets should be gelded and not allowed to reproduce.
> 
> I still love your browband!! It's just so pretty!! I've never tried the Lederbalsam though :lol:


The last post felt like it was getting so long I wanted to break it up lol.

But thank you. It just takes some time to adjust. I get to sleep in tomorrow. I'm so excited. I feel like a spoiled child excited about summer! :lol: doesnt' happen in the adult world SO I'm ENJOYING it :lol: I was going to sign up for classes but they told me I've already taken most of the classes they offer during summer (I've completed 2-2 1/2yrs of college prior to the Marines and for 2yrs before college I was a working student). 

We've done a lot of different therapies or things with Dante. I really think a lot of it was saddle related because he is SO hard to fit and I think his old saddle because it would rotates some in the back and came too far over his 17th vertebrae because you can see his muscle even after he works where it was hollowed out from that saddle :-( I don't think massage would have "fixed" it. I think he needed the injection and I hope this lasts for a long time. And I am really thankful for Mark. He said he thought the meso would be better than the seropin (sp?) so I was like let's go meso. Better to pay for the good stuff than go cheap to save money and it not work.

No exactly! That's totally how it works. You feel bad because you made them press on and to an extent I think it's good to have them work through some things but definitely WAY better to treat it before they develop a pain reaction or anticipatory fear of pain. Horses are so frustrating :lol: always something and you don't always know why.

Oh no I definitely think those guys/gals who go out there are definitely worth what they're paid or more. That just sounds dangerous! You wouldn't see my butt out there doing it either!! And it is skilled work, you need to really know what you're doing and be a good problem solver! But they do make as much as electrical engineers which I think is super cool.

It may be due to a mutation but I thought it was because the default setting on the blue eyed gene is brown. I may be wrong because mutation could be just as plausible. This also says green acts like blue, so theoretically if I had kids with a blue or green eyes partner my kids would have blue or green eyes. It's really fascinating stuff!

How Blue Eyed Parents Can Have Brown Eyed Children | Understanding Genetics

lol I just say there are boring-generic people and they gradually become more interesting with more quirks, eccentricity but it stops being interesting and starts getting scary at psychotic and psychopathic/sociopathic or not interesting at intentionally dysfunctional :lol: 

No those guys weren't in my view men either. They have no real desire to take responsibility, just skid by and win. They literally don't see people like you or I see people. I'll say they all had that in common. I really think I choose these psychopaths/sociopaths and when I say that I mean literally but they were functional and did well. Just things they did and said there is no doubt in my mind. They were the charming-charismatic types but didnt seem fake, I can see right through your sales show kind of way. With the engineer sometimes I want to hit myself over the head because had I read the signs as that it would have been painfully obvious, same with my ex (he was more of a sociopath than a psychopath) and the guy who very badly mistreated me. But we're all stupid sometimes and I can recognize it better. It's hard to explain, it felt natural and not fake. But I TOTALLY agree men who treat women like objects/things or puppets need to have their balls cut off. They don't see others as human or value others at all, they literally could kill you and not care as long as it doesn't effect them in a negative way. And that's scary. I always tell people if you find out someone is a psychopath NEVER EVER EVER tell them you know, just step back and slowly phase out of their life. If you're abrupt they will seek you out. They're dangerous people. Definitely best to get away. They're SUPPOSEDLY rare, I have no idea what draws me to them and vice versa. 3 is too many.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/psychopathy

Lederbalsam is a really good product! Really soften the leather and brings out the shine! And I can give you the number for who I bought it from if you're interested. She's the same person who sold me the albion. They're pretty reasonable for how nice they are. Swarovski crystal, stitched in and it's well made. $130.


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## Tazzie

Hopefully that treatment helps Dante! Poor guy :sad: I'm sure he's frustrated with hurting and not being able to work on top of it.

YES! Enjoy sleeping in!! Sometimes we get to sleep in a few extra hours on the weekend, and it's GREAT. Doesn't always happen though :lol: and yay for no summer classes! Even better!

No, I don't think massage would have either. Comes to a point you'll need more than massage. Glad he will have a saddle that (hopefully) works better soon... And hopefully the new treatment helps...

Yup :lol: gotta love them though!!

It's very dangerous. And they don't always have competent people working. If they cut a wire that is claimed to be dead, or not live, and it is, in fact, live, then they take a flash. And a flash is dangerous. Low damage is sunburn. High damage, is, well, death. Nick took a small flash last week, not cool. His buddy took a bigger one last year. Thankfully, they are all taught to turn and look away as they actually cut the cable, instead of just cutting into it. His buddy had bad sunburn and a few days off to recuperate from it.

Huh! I've never seen that article. May need to send that to my mom :lol: I think she'd find it fascinating really. And yeah, I knew a blue and a green eyed couple could have either blue or green eyed kids. I have hazel, Nick has blue. Right now both kids have blue, but what is interesting is they almost have the hazel trademark of slight changes in color. Still within shades of blue, but not the same blue always.

Haha, I like that way of thinking really :lol: I can agree with that :lol:

Hindsight is always 20/20. At least you can take what you've learned and move on. Shame there are people like that out there :sad: thankfully I've never been around one, so I haven't had to just fade away. I can see how they would seek you out though. They don't have a sound mind.

I may look into it! I have leather keep right now, which I do like. And it does make it soft/shiny. Just always interested in other products :lol: maybe one year I can get Izzie a fancy tiara. I love her current browband, but the chick who made it went psycho on me. So, kind of a mixed feeling now even though I love it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I REALLY REALLY hope so. I'm feeling really poor :lol: and I think he is too. I'm trying my best but sometimes it's like I'm not doing this well enough :lol:

I slept in until 0730 this morning, it was amazing :lol: but no I definitely appreciate the freedom. I know what it is to work 70hr weeks with no lunch/break, I also know what it is to work 48hr shifts and Lord I appreciate the sleep!

No. Massage definitely helps with more minor things but the deep tissues where muscle memory has been altered and tissue has been damaged. This stuff is more effective from what I've seen. I'll still continue with massage on him, I think it helps and I think he's SUPER sensitive so things that don't bother other horses at all REALLY affect him. But I think this other saddle works better, Mark said he thought Dante appeared a lot happier and the pannels are curved a lot more and shorter than my saddle. Same exact saddle but different pannels, nothing else in the barn fits him. He HATES foam panels.

Oh yes :lol: definitely love them, just get frustrated too!

It sounds really dangerous. I definitely don't blame you for being worried about him when he has to go and do things like that. Electricity and working with that kind of stuff scares me, accidents happen and with health risks but even if you're really good and know what you're doing, miscommunication can happen or it doesn't go accordingly :-(

I thought it was a good one. Credible, informational but makes sense. And yeah you should, if she's be interested! It will be interesting to see what color of eyes your kids have as they age, it's hard to say. Are your eyes more the brown/green or green/blue hazel? My eyes still change color sometimes they look more blue or different shades of green. 

:lol: just people and I can't do small talk and don't care about Kardashians or know who they are really or pop culture or most modern music or what's in theaters so I can't talk to most people :lol:

That is extremely true. I'm also very glad to be mostly over it, it's still a sore spot with me (it affects you very deeply) when you've been manipulated and tormented in that way. I'm very defensive, I always have a plan of how to disable them if I had to. I think when you've experienced certain things you learn how to protect yourself, so no one can intimidate you and scare you to the point of letting things go. There are things I have a really hard time talking about because it was really bad but it could have been SO SO much worse. It really is a shame people like that are out there but it's good to be aware and know they exist. I think in a way I'm the antithesis of what they are, aspergers is a different brain type from what is normal. Same with psychopathy but people with aspergers still have the capacity for empathy/compassion and females often are VERY empathetic/sensitive but dont always recognize it and psychopaths can recognize it but have no-minimal capacity to feel for others. They can sometimes care in their way for animals though. Like those guys were great with kids and animals, kids loved them.

Definitely. I'm really impressed with murphy's oil soap for a deep clean with the tootbrush. I used is straight yesterday and was really impressed with how much it restored/cleaned the leather without making it tacky or dry. It's not an all the time thing but it works really well. Debbie Witty, the owner of trilogy saddles suggested it to me and I was like woah this works well! Neatsfeat oil used too often can weaken the stitching but ledbalsam is good stuff!


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## Tazzie

I know that feeling well :lol: and you are doing your best. You're trying to figure out what his issue is and resolve it as soon as possible. I know a lot of people that would just make them work through it and deal. Like, in this day and age I still see a lot of people using their saddle on everything, and the horse just has to deal with it. Particularly in the rail classes I'm in. If me, as a spectator, can see your saddle doesn't fit, it doesn't fit at all!

That does sound nice!! I get excited when we get to wake up that late! Our normal day starts at 5:30, and doesn't end until after 9 pm. I'm worn out by the weekend :lol:

Yeah, I understand that. And that is awesome there is at least a saddle that will work for him now! Even better the vet felt he seemed happier!

Exactly. And people take those people for granted. I always just want to say "go live in the woods if you can't appreciate the guys keeping your lights on." :lol:

I think she would enjoy it. And my eyes have a broad range. Most of the time it's a greenish brown, go from greener to a little darker. But a few people have commented on occasion that my eyes almost appear blue. I really don't know :lol: and supposedly Kaleb's eyes should be what they will be at this point. Kids eyes can change until they are 2. Kaleb is 3 and Sydney is almost 2.

I don't talk about pop culture either :lol: and I only know what's in theaters when it's something I actually want to watch :lol: otherwise, I have no idea lol

I'm glad it wasn't worse than it was at least. Shame there are emotional vampires like that. Always surprises me that they like animals and kids though.

I've never used murphy's oil soap. I know my mom likes it for some things. I've never used neatsfoot oil either. Just saddle soap and my leather keep. When I run out of the leather keep I may need to look into the lederbalsam. It sounds nice! This is what I use: Leather Keep


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## frlsgirl

The genetics behind eye color are so interesting! My dad had blue eyes and my mom had green eyes with brown spots; I have brown eyes; there was a time where I thought maybe I was adopted but then as time went by I realized I'm very much the product of my parents!

Yikes; about all the $ you've spent on Dante; I was doing the math myself just now and between her purchase price, tack, supplies, lessons and boarding, I'm probably at 28k by now; it all adds up but Ana is worth every penny and I'm sure you feel the same way about Dante! How soon will you know if the treatment is working?


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## Tazzie

Good luck today on your final!! I know today was your hard one!!

Also, meant to ask. Are you able to ride Dante soon after the treatment, or does he need a break to allow it to work? I've never used this type of treatment, so I have no clue :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

I'm honestly ready to pass out, I am so exhausted :lol: the final really took it out of me. It was REALLY hard. I whipped through the multiple choice but writing the coding, modifying it with a variety of different kinds of problems took a lot of brain power. It's like you have to create your own variables, define them or set them at random and define how those variables are received but make sure the math works in a way a computer will understand but sometimes you want it to be repeating or as it goes through the program change to read something else depending on the conditions, etc, etc. I want to sleep :lol:

I haven't seen Dante yet and Im contemplating taking a nap instead. 

Exactly and trying to figure out if Dante is just being dramatic/an *** which he is or if he's really in pain and also trying not to spend hundreds of dollars every time he's not happy or I'd be totally broke. And yeah I see the VERY bad saddle fits happen a lot too and a lot of the time people don't even know how badly their saddle fits their horse and they don't care because the horse's are stoic. I've seen horses rotating on horses backs and I'm like that horse is being so good.

It is. I'm fully aware how awful I am! I feel so guilty but I think I'll love it for a few days and be over it. I'm someone who always has to be busy or I can't cope with life :lol: But I entirely understand being worn out. Work does wear you out, especially when youre juggling it with a bunch of other things too. Like family and horses.

And definitely. I really think it's better for their back long term when you're asking them to do things like collection and trying to get steeper laterals, etc because it distributes the weight better and offers more protection for their back. Especially on these hypersensitive half arabs! So hopefully it works well for the next few months until our saddle comes in and hopefully that fits like a glove and if not the panels and head plate can be changed but it's meant to fit when it shows up or the adjustments are free.

People who keep the "conveniences" going are always taken for granted :lol: no one notices until they don't have it anymore than they have big dramatic fits about it lol. I get it with some people because they have farms and need the electricity for their chickens or things and I dont like it when it goes out but man I'm glad someone is willing to fix that problem because I sure wouldn't be out there doing it!

Hmm that's really interesting. It'd be interesting what your actual eye genetics are since they have so much versatility but I didn't know kids eyes change until 2. I knew at birth they're usually different then what they'll have as they mature but it's really interesting to see how they develop. 

lol exactly! I'm glad I'm not alone in that regard. I almost never know what songs are playing. I can't stand a lot of pop songs and I cant listen to most rap at all. 

I don't know how well they like kids or animals, I'm not them but I know kids and animals really like them. The superficial charm and natural charisma, I think is what draws them. And they do SEEM really genuine like their smile seems real, everything but they're just really good actors. I'm just glad they're not in my life bleeding me dry anymore or making me doubt everything in myself or feel small. Being with them you feel crazy because there is no reason to feel so erratic but you always feel like something's wrong but you're being irrational/delusional or scared because of the past. 

And thank you :lol: I need it!!

Dante has 2 days off after treatment. And then I'm going to start him back lightly but he should be in full work pretty soon. I was going to lunge lightly today by 2 days I take it as 48hrs following treatment. I might hope on him for a few minutes but just keep it light. I don't know yet because I'm so tired, I don't even want to go out :lol: I am ashamed but I could literally knock out.

There are so many good products out there. I'm sure it's a good product. I've never used it personally but there are a lot of good products out there. There was a glycerine soap that's only in the Uk that was really good too.
_____________________________

Tanja- It really is! I could see how you might think you were adopted but I guess you're an example of how a blue and green eyes parent can produce a brown eyed child. I'm glad you realize you're a part of them though :lol:

It's really sickening when you sit down and think about it. Really it's best not to but exactly!! You wouldn't trade your baby for anything else in the world. They're worth every penny, the bank may be a little more empty but you're happy at least!


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## Tazzie

I'd go with a nap :lol: you've had a crazy week and a very rough final today. I'd sleep while you can :lol: that final sounds very challenging!!

I totally understand that. It can add up to a lot trying to solve issues. Though sometimes he may just be a jerk and trying to get out of work. The joys of a young horse :lol: and exactly. I watch A LOT of western saddles just pop up and down on the horse's back, and I cringe. I'm pretty sure we're about the pickiest discipline when it comes to saddle fit. I know there are (naturally) exceptions to this. But I've been told by a couple of friends they have never met someone so picky with saddle fit. They learn not to argue with me about it. The people with really awful saddle fit really are very lucky with the horses they have.

Haha, yeah. I get bored easily. Do you have plans for the summer aside from riding? Any job prospects? Though, I could see you studying your field to get a firm grasp on it :lol:

Absolutely! Switching things up and working on various things to strengthen the back are always good. Especially right now when he has the issue with the muscle in his back. They sure are sensitive :lol: I'm glad it comes with free adjustments for the first try if it doesn't fit as it should. And definitely nice to have it be adjustable! Absolutely a great feature!

Exactly!! I know it's a pain in the rear to not have the power on. Trust me. Especially when it's either really hot or really cold, and you don't want to open the fridge in hopes of not ruining everything in it. But it also isn't fun for those that work out there. They don't get to see their families very often, if at all. During very bad storms, if there are a lot of people out of power, they work 16 hour days. Travel is just lumped into the 8 hours, so they don't get a full 8 hours of sleep. And they have to shower. By the time Nick gets home and showered, he'll get roughly 6 hours of sleep before he has to get up and start over. He also was sent out of town for Superstorm Sandy. 16 hour days for roughly 2 weeks.

I'd be curious too :lol: and some people believe the color change in kids is complete at 6 months. Not at all true. They can be at least 2. I don't think there is a high chance they change after 2, but I'm sure it can happen.

I only songs because the girls I work with keep it on a mix station. I'll know the older songs, and I know the newer stuff because of it. But I HATE artists like Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, and Taylor Swift. Just don't like it. I prefer country (stereotypical, I know lol). And I HATE rap.

Oops, I'd misread that :lol: I thought they were good with kids, not kids being drawn to them :lol: I'd hate being with someone that made me feel crazy. Nick drives me crazy, but not in an awful way, if that makes sense? :lol: We're two very stubborn, bull headed people. We drive each other crazy :lol:

I'm sure you did fine!!

Ahh, so he'd be ok to be worked lightly today. Though, I fully support you just taking a nap :lol: you had a rough day!! Some days, you just need a nap :lol:

There definitely are! I just think this one is nice :lol: I use it on everything haha!


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## Tihannah

You're such a good mom, Cassie, and take such good care of your boy. He's very lucky to have you. Not sure if you took your final yet, but wanted to send a good luck as well! I feel like I have such a hard time keeping up with you and Katie and I'm missing so much! Lol. I've been at the barn so much that by the time I get home, I do a quick post to my journal, read a few threads, and then pass out!

So glad you got to sleep in. Maybe one day soon, I will too! Lol.

That TB you rode was so freakin handsome! He didn't even look like a TB to me! You're so lucky to have had the opportunity to ride so many different horses. It definitely has to help build your skill as a rider. I just can't help always wishing I was better so I could teach Tess better or more, but I guess we're doing well considering.

I'm such of fan of you and Dante and I really hope that you get all these pain issues worked through. You both have so much potential and it is a joy to be able come along for the ride.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I have an essay to write today, SO I really SHOULDNT be on but kinda wanted to update.

I rode Dante yesterday. He was a jack @ss so I had to ride through it, if he's threatening to buck, rear, ignores your leg, swings his butt into your leg and has a nasty tantrum. I can't get off for that or he'll be 10 times worse next ride. If you let him get away with that behavior, he figures it's a new trick in his tool kit and will magnify it. You can't let it go. Only reason he doesn't rear straight up and dance like a ballerina anymore (yes he did that when I was on a loose rein and asked him to halt from my seat, he went straight up and busted my lip open). I don't think he was in pain. I think he was anticipating a pain reaction and also had gotten away with things because he was in pain and I wont press an issue if he hurts like him staying together when I gather up my reins, I didn't last ride and I won't widdle his nose to keep him there. So it was basically showing him it didn't hurt anymore and he can use himself. He was really good once we got over the hump but getting over the hump was more then I really wanted to do with him. I felt so bad for having to ride like that when I wanted to basically do an easy figures of 8, big circles, relaxed ride. I mean I rode steep shoulder ins, laterals. Id gather my reins he'd try to throw his head at me and I was like I can put both reins in one hand and you stay together (didn't pull back) just sent him over laterally and kept a connection so he got the message, if I put both reins in one hand doesn't mean he stops using himself. Towards the end Id just position for laterals and could get the steepness, steering and he half halted, rather than ran through my aids like a jack @ss. He was very respectful towards the end and good. Just had to position, send him to and he'd half halt, easily do laterals. Just open my hip and medium trot. I didn't canter much, I did a few transitions into canter and got him to respect my half halt, actually use himself (canter helps his back the most I think). But it was a rough ride, definitely not what I wanted. It ended very well though, he was very respectful. And after our ride it cracked me up because I think we must have done something right because he refused to give me the bit back, I had to kind of wrestle it from him because he refused to let it go with his bridle off (usually means we had a good ride) and was pretty pleased with himself like ha I knew it I'm amazing. He really is a conceited thing sometimes. But it kinda reminded me of something pretty much everyone has said, he's going to do a lot better at the upper levels. I don't think you can get on him and just walk, trot, canter on a loose rein but connected or he's really bad. He needs a job where his brain is constantly engaged and he needs to be shown the line and he's perfectly happy to respect the rider if he think they're worthy of respect but if not he's just like I will discover every loop hole and exploit it. I think as he's able to do more and more he'll be better too.








Dante's toys





For the record Dante does ground tie and he and Bailey were pasture mates. neither of them are nasty. 





Tina and Katie I'll respond soon. I want to finish my essay first and I wanted to say thank you


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## Tihannah

Dante is such a character and looks so good under saddle! Is that the new one? I love how you describe how you work through his tantrums. Tess doesn't have tantrums, but she does have moments when she kind of just goes of course and tries to anticipate my next move. I can always tell when she's just trying to hurry up and finish the ride because she will go into gaits without my asking and then trot or canter too fast. When this happens, I have a hard time getting her to soften again and yield to my aids. She just kinda says, I'm gonna do something/whatever so we can be done and I can have my treats. When this happens, I get frustrated, and find it difficult to get her back on track.

I like how you work him through it until he complies and then are able to end the ride I good note. I think I yield to Tess too much and in the end make it harder on myself. I definitely need to get better at this.

I LOVE your barn and am so jealous. Our barn is really, really old and needs a complete overhaul, but I don't think that'll happen anytime soon. We have decent riding facilities, so I guess that's all that matters. Good luck on your paper! I definitely don't miss those days!


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## whisperbaby22

Gee, tough that Dante is costing so much moo-la. And some horses are not so royally treated, and go just fine. Any horse you get is such a gamble. There is a lot of drama (it seems) around vetting a horse before you buy, finding small things to nitpick about, etc. Don't mean to ruffle any feathers, I just come from such a different place. I have never vetted a horse before buying, or even ridden it. 


I feel that there is small difference between a $100 plug and a $50,000 show horse when it comes down to the day to day maintenance. My feeling with Dante is that he knows he is being trained as a superior type show horse, and is acting like it. The best possible outcome will be that as he progresses he will use his feelings of superiority to excel in the ring.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright. I finished my essay yesterday at 2320...essay was supposed to be 4-5 pages, I made it 6 full pages because I felt I needed more pieces to explain my logic and make sure everything looped together and made sense. I stayed up an extra 2 hours to make sure it flowed as I wanted lol. It was about virtue and I made it about the difference in how virtue and sin are observed in Dante's Inferno and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. I also went on a rant on the difference between medieval Italy and medieval England and how that comes into play on why certain sins were "more acceptable" than others.

I worked this morning and then rode Dante who was actually really good. It was definitely a wake up call for Dante because we definitely upped the expectations. Nothing was out of reach for him or pressuring him to do anything he wasn't ready for. But riding him in a saddle with him being ridable, it made me realize how limiting riding bareback really is. The stuff I did today there is no way I could have done that bareback because I was asking for a much great degree of bend (not flexion, bend) through his entire body and really asked him to sit and come under. So lots of half halts and being like Dante you can sit more and Dante was like oh hello and was really pretty good. In canter it took a bit to get him where he was really sitting but his canter shoulder ins were almost effortless. Canter left he can sit a lot more than to the right but right canter is organized, it's just hard to get the lift and I'm not sacrificing through for greater lift. It will be there. Going left shoulder in you have to put your outside leg a little back to keep his right hind in check while you ask for the outside shoulder to come in and support with the inside knee for bend but make sure he doesn't lose impulsion (it's all seat for his motor). If I can't pet him with the inside rein and he maintain the bend and movement then it's wrong. I was able to leave my inside rein in a loop down the long side and then turned onto a 10m circle like that and then I took it back but not in a pull back way. Going right you have to exaggerate your body position for the bend. I lifted my right hip up a little and that seemed to really help him. It stems from the right hind, every horse has a weak spot. We also did some half pass which I haven't done on him in a while. He was doing a lot better with maintaining bend and flowing. It's not like a confirmed half pass where you just position and go but the basic components are there, it's just going to take time to improve the quality and make it easy for him. He still needs it where you turn down the diagnol and go into half pass but I like that for setting up a good half pass. Going left was harder and I was kinda like well youre figuring this out today and Dante was like, I'm not sure I can and I just said you can and then he got it and we turned down the diagnol to try again and he was a lot more organized and wasn't like uhhh. When I introduce or work on movements, I don't drill. it's more like lets try it once or twice, show improvement and let it go because at this stage I just want him to have the vocabulary. I'd rather take my time and make it good then push him until he's sour about it. We did some counter canter and that helped his right canter a lot. Then did medium at trot and canter when he felt like he was losing impulsion/activity and that got him really in my hand and pushing up. We finished long and low figure of 8s and circles. So I'm pretty pleased with that. Definitely room for improvement but it felt reasonable to him. Just educating a young horse. So I'm pretty happy with that. Progress made!!


[URL=http://s392.photobucket.com/user/Cassandra_Rempel/media/Dante/5_zpsewmvjrnl.jpg.html]







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Katie- the nap was awesome!! And it really was a tough final. My brain hurt I was picking at it so much :lol: it's the problem solving and having to re-check and re-check the logic over and over again to make sure it all works and working back the problem like in math but it's with code.

Exactly!! And it adds up fast! And vet work is expensive! But I entirely know what you mean when you see the saddle bouncing up and down on the horse's back and you're like oh lord that cant' be comfortable. And yes I think dressage riders are definitely the most picky (from what I've seen). I think we have to be because of the degree we're asking our horse to use it's whole body and if the saddle doesn't fit just right it blocks and muscle or the horse can't be as through as they need to be or give the degree of bend or really engage it's hind end and whole body correctly. 

This summer gosh. I might be looking at a few horse places to work, I like working with horses. I help out at my barn to take off some of my board/training bills (you have to be in a training program at my barn). And I'm making a curriculum for myself to follow so I can advance myself and be a little more prepared, especially with computer science for next semester. I'm trying to a balance of different things because I think it's very important to exercise the brain in a variety of ways. So still write essays and try to analyze some literature and work on advancing my understanding of coding and practicing more javascript and try to get into java and practice building programs and working out bugs. That's the plan we'll see how it goes.

They really are sensitive creatures. And I'm really glad it's adjustable too. That's why I paid extra for it, just so that when he changed back shape I don't need a whole new saddle. His back shape has changed and so I'm REALLY REALLY hoping it will fit and any changes that need to be made can just be done through flocking and the tree and panels and width are all right where they need to be for him. I'm riding him in an extra wide saddle with padding in front right now. 

Jeesh. I know we've talked about it before but those hours and taking away his sleep for 2 weeks (I know it's not like that all the time) but with as intricate and technical that work is, I'd think they really need their sleep so they can be sharp. You make careless mistakes when your very sleep deprived, no matter how sharp you may be. I remember I hadn't slept for 48hrs or so once and I was laughing at pencils and I don't remember what else. I just remember being really-really weird and seeing things that weren't happening and having poor logic functions.

Huh well that's really cool! I guess that will be something I'll get to look forward to one day! lol

No that's pretty cool. I'm kinda guessing we'd have similar music tastes. I listen to a variety, sometimes it's country, sometimes 60s (variety of 60s), 70s, 80s, or 90s-early 2000s and I just fluctuate all the time. And classical too. I like some Taylor Swift songs, like Blank Space, the only song I like from Miley is Wrecking Ball, but a big no to Justin Bieber and 98% of rap, that's truly awful. And I don't know who else is trendy. I don't really like Meghan trainor or Ariana Grande at all. 

Yeah. It's part of why it's hard to realize they are what they are. You always think kids or animals would tell you right? Nope. And I know what you mean :lol: I think you're such a passionate person you'd be bored with someone who wasn't passionate or opinionated too. I think it keeps you guys in love :lol: And I understand. Trust me I'm very bull headed and stubborn too :lol: I'm reasonable but when I know I'm right, God willing I wont budge. I stick to my guns. Thanks be to God for my stubbornness, especially when I know I am right :lol: 

Definitely, if you love something and it does a great job use it!! Murphys oil soap though is AMAZING for a deep clean. I'm so stunned by how well it works, it really gets a good shine without the tack being sticky/goopy and really gets away the gunk and build up and gets in deep. I use it straight with a toothbrush and scrub it in. On my saddle the suds turned gray/brown but my saddle looked amazing afterwards! 
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Tina- thank you kindly. I do my best :lol: but I think most moms do. You're not always perfect, might make some mistakes but as long as you keep looking after them and keep learning I think it's okay lol.

I hope you get to sleep in someday too! It makes a big difference...except you're almost more tired after sleeping in!

Thank you Magellan was a work in progress. He looked very thoroughbredy on the ground but when I started with him he was the absolute worst moving horse I have ever seen in my lift. He literally could track his hind end up at all. Like 2ft from tracking up because he had EPM so bad he was falling down before he was treated and he was super long in the body/neck and narrow. Like riding a beam poll and SUPER uncomfortable. Absolute bounciest, most uncomfortable trot ever but that's from the EPM making his hind legs stiff. It took a good year of rehab before he really came around and was able to track up and go as though he never had it. He was really hard to get going and he really didnt' have much real ability to sit/collect but he had a great personality/temperament. Super sweet boy. I showed him once but I dont remember how we did and I have no video/pictures from that show :/ And riding a huge variety from a bunch of different situations is REALLY-REALLY helpful to develop yourself as a rider and really know what you're feeling, how to train, how to approach a situation and how to navigate situations. I've ridden incredibly hot, neurotic horses like you breathe or position wrong and you're going for a ride to extremely belligerent, massive, powerful jerk off warmbloods. Rode a saddleseat horse. To horses who have been abused and smacked around and retraining those qualities to rehab of horses who'd always feel short or having to compensate for injuries/scar tissues. or riding babies or the most advanced horse I ever rode was an alternate for the olympics under Emile Faurie and was started/trained to GP by Hubertus Schmidt. I rode schoolmasters in Germany too but that was in a way painful because they were so used to being pulled on and held together, I was absolutely perplexed by how dead they were and strong. That was interesting. Definitely improved me a lot as a rider but just they were trained through such different methods. I do well on those big warmbloods but I don't enjoy it the way I do on something hot/sensitive.

RIP TIAMO TROCADERO 1987- 2011 | Offield Farms

And yes he is :lol: you can never say Dante doesn't have a personality. He's always into absolutely everything. I think he's a little like me where his brain is constantly going and he gets bored easily. But thanks. I try to make notes for me too, so someday I can look back and know what we were working on or how we approached the situation. But be thankful you don't have tantrums or dramatic outbursts/reactions. It adds a whole nother dimension to riding but I think you're doing a really good job and doing really well with Tess. It takes time to figure things out but it just takes grit and making it through. No matter if you're riding a horse for the first time or the number one rider in the world, you always have more to learn and frustrations and it's just the journey. Lots of ups and downs! Highs and lows! But the important thing is we persevere and learn.

And that's very possible but it's something you'll work out and you get better and figure out Tess's buttons and learn how to stay firm in your body and not letting her pull you out of the saddle or manipulate your balance, so you can correct her balance. It takes a while and you're miles a head where I was 1-2yrs into riding. You should be really proud!

And thank you  and it is a nice facility. It's well maintained and taken care of, so it's a good barn. I originally went there 8-9yrs ago with my old event horse and I went back after the USMC because it's a good atmosphere with skilled workers, very high quality horse care, and awesome pasture/training. I looked at other states/trainers but unless I go to Florida she's the by far the best I saw. 
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Whisperbaby22- Definitely. You just don't know what horse is going to be high maintenance or not. And definitely there are horses who don't get treated like him and do fair much better. There are super fancy warmbloods at my barn who were pampered there whole life and aren't anywhere near as big of a Princess/Prince. With him I think he's just really-really sensitive and very-very smart and is very aware so he notices little things that other horses may not notice or care about. I like that he is that way because I think it makes him a better dressage horse because he picks up on smaller cues and can figure things out pretty quickly. He has an incredible work ethic and I think he likes having a job. He always seems happier after he's worked.

I'd agree they all eat the same, drink, etc. With Dante that might be part of it. I don't have an answer for why he is what he is, other than he is what he is :lol: my feeling is he's always been a diva at heart. Though he came from humble orgins and literally grew up on a farm with cows and chickens and things.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad you worked through it and had a good ride after! And a good ride the following day! I always hate when they work themselves harder than you'd intended. Dang horses!

The pictures you posted are adorable! He's such a cutie! And the videos are hilarious!

I'm glad the nap treated you nicely!! I can only imagine how tired your brain was! Needed to be recharged!

It sure does add up fast!! I had to quit watching the saddles of competitors since it'd drive me so crazy. I also had to stop watching that barn we discussed earlier. They never warm up their horses. They go and stand in the middle of the warmup ring (HATE that with a passion!!!!) and wait for their class. Exactly! We can't have a saddle that blocks anywhere. A little different when they only ever do rail classes, but still. I think a saddle should fit appropriately.

That sounds like fun summer plans!! I figured you'd be practicing your stuff to keep you sharp! And always fun to work at new horse places to maybe learn something new! I wondered if that barn required you to do some form of training. That's how my barn in Michigan was.

It was a good call to pay extra for it! And I have my fingers crossed it won't need anything major when it arrives!! How long ago did you order it? Are we a month out yet? I can't remember :lol: and whatever works to keep him happy!!

Yup, they are definitely sharper with more sleep. But the higher ups don't think about that. They just think about the power needing to be restored. I know a little bit about being sleep deprived :lol: I've never gone that long without sleep though!

Probably :lol: I think Taylor Swift was just so overplayed when she came out, it turned me off to her and her music. I don't know. And I hate how the modern day country is just becoming pop music. Makes me sad. Like, I like some songs by Thomas Rhett, but his new song Vacation needs to be on the pop station, NOT the country station. I like the early 2000's as well as the 90's. We have Sirius XM for the cars that make the huge drive to Michigan, and we love Pop2k for hits from the early 2000's and the 90's on 9 :lol:

Exactly! They always say the most honest things are dogs and kids. So you'd think you could trust them! It definitely keeps us in love :lol: you are right though. I've dated men who weren't as passionate about things. It's really just not fun to be around them, and they are SO boring. It's always good to be stubborn and stick to your true self. I can't stand the people that always budge.

I may have to try the Murphy's oil soap. It does sound like a good thing to use!! The leather keep is just to bring out the shine, not a cleaner. I'm always game to try something new, especially when it gets good reviews :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Me too!! I'm really hoping the meso therapy did the trick for his back! Because while he's still Dante, he is SO SO SO much more ridable and it allows us to actually work. And I do too. I really wanted to give him an easy ride. Basically a warm up but he was in a f-you mode and that had to be sorted through first and he was much better. I can't wait for our next lesson which I'll need to set up. 

Thank you  he cracks me up :lol: I never know if it's just because he's my kid and I adore him or he's really funny but never a dull moment. He's always getting into something. I totally see why he got sprayed in the face by a skunk last year :lol: I'm sure he was like well that's a funny looking cat, let's follow it. Maybe it needs a friend. Dante likes other animals. But he is cute :lol: 

It does. I have a horrible time sleeping anyway, so when I don't sleep or am lacking sleep for several days it gets me pretty flat.

It really does. I posted on your thread but that really upsets me they don't warm up their horses. One of the easiest ways of avoiding an injury. It's also why I'm big on horses need/should be turned out most of the time because in constant movement their bodies are able to adjust to constant impact and motion because tendons/ligaments/muscle and bone adjust according to use. Plus the mental benefit of them being allowed to be horses and have time to be themselves and hopefully have friends :lol: but warm ups are so necessary and it kills me to hear of people who dont warm up. You just don't get the elasticity/suppleness or real fluidity asking them to go cold as well. As a runner I needed to warm up before a run, it made a huge difference in my stride and times. But I entirely agree, a saddle should fit appropriately and actually fit the horse. For most it doesn't need to be perfect but it should at least fit. For us I really think it's because we ask for that extra degree of throughness and whole body use that make the fit so essential, especially as they start hiking up the levels and start doing more and more. You need the whole back engaged. It cant be hollowed out from an improper fitting saddle blocking the flow.

I have a feeling I may be doing more work for Pam. I'll have to find out what she wants because unfortunately I have limits on physical work. I've tried pushing them before and ended up in terrible pain for 2 weeks to get everything to calm down. It genuinely sucks but at this point it's funny. I have more degenerative/arthritic issues than my 57yr old parents. And you either laugh or it makes you want to cry because it's just going to get worse, not better. But too late, damage already done. 

I think I ordered the saddle 3 weeks ago? I always keep saying it's 2 months out so I don't get my hopes up thinking it will come early or on time :lol: things like that are always late. I can't wait to sit in it. 17 1/2 albion SLK platinum royale with the deeper seat added to the pommel, not cantle, short panels and . I pray Dante loves it and is like yep this is it and everything is awesome and we're all happy :lol: we'll just have to wait for the reality of that to come true. Very anxious.

Higher ups always figure they have the next best solution for the guys actually doing the work. Sometimes you wonder if they even know what it's like to put in the footwork or if they got to the position they're in by playing politics and skipping the important steps.

That's possible :lol: I don't listen to the radio ever because I can't control what I listen to and Im very picky. And I don't want to like a song and have it ruined from being over played. But that makes sense to me. I'm not familiar with Thomas Rhett but I can say I agree with countries trend to increasingly become more and more "pop like." I don't mind it if the song is good but if it's just trendy and repetitive/catchy but the lyrics are meaningless I can't listen. The music has to mean something for me or convey a particular mood. For example I love Queen, they're music makes me laugh because while it's so good, it feels like it's meant to be taken with a sense of humor. Like "Don't Try Suicide" I was crying I was laughing so hard. I know morbid subject but their song is just so funny.

Exactly. You expect kids or animals to give you a sign but they don't. They're just like wow you're so awesome and let the psychopath right in. Trust me I understand and I'm really glad you and Nick found each other, you'll keep each other in line and actually communicate vs the passive-aggressive [email protected] people do and the lack of communication. Your both too passionate to not speak up when something bothers you. But trust me I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I have gone on dates with guys who were "nice" but boring, emotionally weak and definitely not for me. I can be so strong willed, independent and can be so fiery and belligerent. I'm bluntly honest, not cruel but I'm honest and compliments about superficial things are just unnatural and illogical to me. As well as being very opinionated, stubborn, driven and ambitious than the social awkwardness and really harmlessly quirky. I can be super charismatic and take over a room with quips and humor or I will be dead quiet and observe people and be super timid and shy to I'm taking charge, I got this and you're either standing behind me or getting out of my way. And the aspergers lol I told Hallie Im really curious to meet the man I'll spend my life with (IF that happens) and she said Oh Cassie, everyone's curious to meet the man you end up with. But then if a guy sees me going through a depression cycle because those get really-really bad. I can put on a happy face and no one will know but honestly even the good ones can put up with a lot but when they see you like that they're done. I honestly cant even imagine someone who could be with me but then that's a bad place to go because when you think you're too difficult to love you settle for crumbs and it's true.

It's really good stuff, you should give it a go and totally worth trying it for $3 or I think that's what I paid lol. And the toothbrush, toothbrush allows the scrub magic to happen too. It gets the deep clean when they're working together :lol: and Debbie Witty was the one who suggested it who created Trilogy saddle and was a saddle rep for Albion for years, so I think she knows what's good for leather and wont hurt it. I'll try whatever works well but wont hurt the leather or bankrupt me. And I don't use it all the time but it's good for a deep clean!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Small update with Dante. 

Today was not the best ride but it was very productive. Today's ride was mostly about teaching Dante to grow up. He's not a baby horse anymore and I think it's a hard transition for him. I'm upping my expectations from him and I don't care if he's a little sore. He still has to work and work passed it, I had to carry 80lbs of gear for a 10mi hike with a strained IT band. I think he'll be okay if he's a little sore. I'm just done, he's a spoiled brat and honestly he was really bratty undersaddle like I'm sore, I can't do it and I'm like no you can. We're done tip toeing around you, you're a horse not a spoiled child. I didn't do anything I regret, no see sawing or aggression. Just systematic, if I ask for something you will do it. Nothing I was asking for was unreasonable, just carry yourself, respect my aids and let me ride you without a tantrum. A lot of it is in his head and breaking through that barrier. I don't want to kill his spirit but he is not a teenager anymore. I think of it as that young adult transition of moving out of the house, having to be accountable and have pressure put on. I'm kinda testing him too, he really frustrated me today. And he had a big wake up call. He actually tried to walk on top of me and run through my half halts and aids like a jack @ss. He definitely had a wake up call tonight and was a lot more respectful. His eye was a lot softer when I got off. Tomorrow I'm setting up for a lesson because Pam might have some better ideas. I was very systematic and basically was like I'm not backing off in contact even if you flip yourself upside down, throw yourself side to side and threaten to rear, etc. I know it's just this transition from rebellious teen to adult but my question at this point with him is he going to be able to handle the pressure? We've never really pressured him, so I don't know how he's going to be but I feel like that's part of the next step. If he can't then I'm going to have to ask the big questions which I'm hoping isn't going to come to pass but you don't always know if they're going to make it and I know Mari said physically there is no reason why he can't but mentally is still in question. Or I saw girls in combat training giving 110% and they'd have a stress fracture and literally couldn't make it. I knew a girl who shattered her pelvis and never made as a Marine, had nothing to do with her effort or mind set. There are things you just can't control.

Also had an interesting discussion and realized you really can't explain to someone who hasn't really put themselves out there what it feels like to fail giving 110% and doing nothing particularly wrong. Just because you work hard, put yourself in a good position and are well liked doesn't mean things will work out as you expect them to. Even if you're clever about it, sometimes things just don't work out and it is naive to think there is no such thing as "luck." Yeah you need to be ready for when it happens and make a conscious effort to make things happen but often enough even extremely talented people get over looked. I was talking to a 21-22yr old and at that age a lot of them don't realize how much it takes. You have to be mentally tough and able to cope with the failure and loss and you have to realistic about asking how much are you willing to sacrifice for your dream? And is it worth it? She was mad at me for saying I'm used to things not working out, being disappointed and let down so that's all I expect, no matter how hard I work, no matter how much extra effort I put in or plans I make to get myself to a position. Things don't work out for me a lot of the time for whatever reason. I've had a lot of blessings too but I try not to get my hopes up anymore. It ends badly whenever I really believe something is going to work out. For dreams you can't just pull money out of your butt and make your dreams come true which is part of why it's going to be 10yrs of trying to have an actual show season or when I was a marine, I didn't fail because of lack of effort or I wasn't mentally/emotionally able. I failed because of something I couldn't control, my body broke down. Is that my fault? I mean maybe if I fought harder for myself or after my 2nd serious injury fought to be brought back slowly, so I didn't get a 3rd serious injury. And I guess technically I didn't "fail" I was a good marine and could do my job but I failed as in I can't be a Marine anymore, I never got to be an Officer (was my original dream), despite multiple GySgts, 1st Sgts and even one of my drill instructors saying I would make a good Officer and they'd be glad to salute me. 

But you know I'm just old and bitter and don't know what I'm talking about, not like I have life experience or anything lol *sarcasm* I'm chronologically not "old" but I've been through a lot. And I really realize you can't explain some things to someone young, driven and hasn't experienced the let downs yet. Me saying this isn't about accepting defeat or accepting failure but understand that even when you give it your all and you fail, over and over again, you can't quit. I mean there is a time to be realistic and practical and say is this going to happen for me? But the thing with horses and big dreams and ambitious is if you really want to make it to the top and you're not born with a billion dollars, you're relying on luck and opportunity and someone else being willing to pay your way. You have to persevere and sometimes I think that's why dreamers and people with a lot of gung ho and ambition die out in that way. They never think it's going to happen until they realize it's not so easy. You control what you can but there is a lot that is outside of your control. But lol I'm realist, really have lost the optimistic, bright eyed, hopeful dreamer aspect I once had but I was also very naive then too. I still try, I still work hard, I still hope for the best but expect the worst.


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## frlsgirl

I totally hear you on that Cass! Ana is always like "oh that's too hard" and "I don't wanna" and "geez, riding for 40 minutes today, seems like a lot of work"...and my personal favorite "I need a stretch break because I trotted for two minutes and that was hard"....I'm thinking I got me a spoiled horse! It sounds like Dante also gives you a lot of push-back when he doesn't want to work anymore? Ana just gets all huffy and puffy; prances and snorts. I was watching a training video the other day where the gelding was throwing fits left and right because he didn't want to do something and the trainer kept saying to the rider: "This is your circle, and your canter, not his circle or his canter; he doesn't get to decide, you do!" That made total sense to me so that's my new mantra! Hopefully you can work through this stage and a much more compliant Dante awaits on the other side.


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## Skyseternalangel

I have tomorrow off aside from work in the morning, but work thurs-sunday. Pay day is on the 21st so I'm thinking that week will be ideal to come out? I think they have me working every sunday though


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## whisperbaby22

I think you are spot on with Dante, and I wish you luck. I also commend you for your insight, and how much I look forward to your observations. I am older than your parents, and figure myself a well thought out woman, but cannot for the life of me, put my thoughts in writing as you do. In fact, one of the the reasons I got active on this site was because there are a lot of studies of old minds getting "bad" if not pushed - as you need to push your horse right now!


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Me too!! I'm really hoping the meso therapy did the trick for his back! Because while he's still Dante, he is SO SO SO much more ridable and it allows us to actually work. And I do too. I really wanted to give him an easy ride. Basically a warm up but he was in a f-you mode and that had to be sorted through first and he was much better. I can't wait for our next lesson which I'll need to set up.
> 
> Thank you  he cracks me up :lol: I never know if it's just because he's my kid and I adore him or he's really funny but never a dull moment. He's always getting into something. I totally see why he got sprayed in the face by a skunk last year :lol: I'm sure he was like well that's a funny looking cat, let's follow it. Maybe it needs a friend. Dante likes other animals. But he is cute :lol:
> 
> It does. I have a horrible time sleeping anyway, so when I don't sleep or am lacking sleep for several days it gets me pretty flat.
> 
> It really does. I posted on your thread but that really upsets me they don't warm up their horses. One of the easiest ways of avoiding an injury. It's also why I'm big on horses need/should be turned out most of the time because in constant movement their bodies are able to adjust to constant impact and motion because tendons/ligaments/muscle and bone adjust according to use. Plus the mental benefit of them being allowed to be horses and have time to be themselves and hopefully have friends :lol: but warm ups are so necessary and it kills me to hear of people who dont warm up. You just don't get the elasticity/suppleness or real fluidity asking them to go cold as well. As a runner I needed to warm up before a run, it made a huge difference in my stride and times. But I entirely agree, a saddle should fit appropriately and actually fit the horse. For most it doesn't need to be perfect but it should at least fit. For us I really think it's because we ask for that extra degree of throughness and whole body use that make the fit so essential, especially as they start hiking up the levels and start doing more and more. You need the whole back engaged. It cant be hollowed out from an improper fitting saddle blocking the flow.
> 
> I have a feeling I may be doing more work for Pam. I'll have to find out what she wants because unfortunately I have limits on physical work. I've tried pushing them before and ended up in terrible pain for 2 weeks to get everything to calm down. It genuinely sucks but at this point it's funny. I have more degenerative/arthritic issues than my 57yr old parents. And you either laugh or it makes you want to cry because it's just going to get worse, not better. But too late, damage already done.
> 
> I think I ordered the saddle 3 weeks ago? I always keep saying it's 2 months out so I don't get my hopes up thinking it will come early or on time :lol: things like that are always late. I can't wait to sit in it. 17 1/2 albion SLK platinum royale with the deeper seat added to the pommel, not cantle, short panels and . I pray Dante loves it and is like yep this is it and everything is awesome and we're all happy :lol: we'll just have to wait for the reality of that to come true. Very anxious.
> 
> Higher ups always figure they have the next best solution for the guys actually doing the work. Sometimes you wonder if they even know what it's like to put in the footwork or if they got to the position they're in by playing politics and skipping the important steps.
> 
> That's possible :lol: I don't listen to the radio ever because I can't control what I listen to and Im very picky. And I don't want to like a song and have it ruined from being over played. But that makes sense to me. I'm not familiar with Thomas Rhett but I can say I agree with countries trend to increasingly become more and more "pop like." I don't mind it if the song is good but if it's just trendy and repetitive/catchy but the lyrics are meaningless I can't listen. The music has to mean something for me or convey a particular mood. For example I love Queen, they're music makes me laugh because while it's so good, it feels like it's meant to be taken with a sense of humor. Like "Don't Try Suicide" I was crying I was laughing so hard. I know morbid subject but their song is just so funny.
> 
> Exactly. You expect kids or animals to give you a sign but they don't. They're just like wow you're so awesome and let the psychopath right in. Trust me I understand and I'm really glad you and Nick found each other, you'll keep each other in line and actually communicate vs the passive-aggressive [email protected] people do and the lack of communication. Your both too passionate to not speak up when something bothers you. But trust me I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I have gone on dates with guys who were "nice" but boring, emotionally weak and definitely not for me. I can be so strong willed, independent and can be so fiery and belligerent. I'm bluntly honest, not cruel but I'm honest and compliments about superficial things are just unnatural and illogical to me. As well as being very opinionated, stubborn, driven and ambitious than the social awkwardness and really harmlessly quirky. I can be super charismatic and take over a room with quips and humor or I will be dead quiet and observe people and be super timid and shy to I'm taking charge, I got this and you're either standing behind me or getting out of my way. And the aspergers lol I told Hallie Im really curious to meet the man I'll spend my life with (IF that happens) and she said Oh Cassie, everyone's curious to meet the man you end up with. But then if a guy sees me going through a depression cycle because those get really-really bad. I can put on a happy face and no one will know but honestly even the good ones can put up with a lot but when they see you like that they're done. I honestly cant even imagine someone who could be with me but then that's a bad place to go because when you think you're too difficult to love you settle for crumbs and it's true.
> 
> It's really good stuff, you should give it a go and totally worth trying it for $3 or I think that's what I paid lol. And the toothbrush, toothbrush allows the scrub magic to happen too. It gets the deep clean when they're working together :lol: and Debbie Witty was the one who suggested it who created Trilogy saddle and was a saddle rep for Albion for years, so I think she knows what's good for leather and wont hurt it. I'll try whatever works well but wont hurt the leather or bankrupt me. And I don't use it all the time but it's good for a deep clean!


Hopefully you do get that lesson set up! Hopefully that treatment continues to work!

I think he's a ham :lol:

I totally know that feeling!!

I'll expand more on my thread about that barn... there is more stuff about them I disagree with. And exactly! Why would anyone want to dam up the flow of energy over the back?

Well, I'm sure you can still learn stuff from Pam! Discouraging when you have that much limitations though :sad:

Haha, I know how that feels! I do hope it comes on time though!! And that the reality of it is that it'll fit immediately :lol:

Most of them don't unfortunately. Least not with Duke, from my perspective. Never talked to Nick about it, but I'd find it very hard to believe if public relations actually did the work of the cable splicers and the linemen.

I like stories in mine, or something that could be fun to sing to :lol: I'm a terrible singer, but I like to sing anyway. I just don't like when genres cross lines that heavily.

Very true about kids letting them in :/ and I'm glad Nick and I aren't passive aggressive. I hate that. And I've always believed there is at least one person out there for everyone. I don't think I hit the levels of depression you face, but I do get very down on myself and can be a huge pain to deal with. A strong man sees this and wants to help, not run away. I have faith you'll find a strong man when the timing is right.

$3 isn't bad at all! I need to run to Meijer today, so perhaps I'll look into it! And I always have spare toothbrushes from the dentist :lol:

It sounds like yesterdays ride was a tough one :/ I do agree it's time to grow up, but I also understand 10000000% what you're going through since I'm sitting in that exact same boat over here telling my princess to buck up. And I think we are both in the same boat hoping our horses can rise to this challenge. I totally get it.

I also understand being a realist instead of an optimist. I know what it's like giving 110% and failing. And when things don't go right and everything just crumbles. But some kids younger than us have been coddled so much they don't know what it's like to fail. They are in for a very rude awaking when they learn life doesn't give out participation trophies for showing up to work and such.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I worked today which is good, definitely don't mind the extra income. Then I had a lesson on Dante and he was quite good. The lesson was about 20-30minutes but I think we're doing 20 minutes again tomorrow, I'm owed 4 extra lessons as well because I paid for them and haven't gotten them, so we're going to fit them in at some point too. He was just really good and obedient. Pam said it was by the far the most obedient she's ever seen him. I told Pam I've decided I don't want to use a whip with him anymore. I havent in about a week and honestly it does absolutely nothing to carry it on him. She agreed he goes better whipless. I NEVER spank him with it, I usually just touch it when I use it and honestly it just makes him tense and ****y so I've totally dropped it. We also discussed how much better he's going in tack because honestly bareback you just can't get the same degree of throughness, collection or the same steepness in the laterals. So I'm incredibly happy we have a saddle to ride him in for right now. He was really good today, we didnt do anything special. Just asked him to be obedient and he was, so we stopped early. She said her perspective is yes he needs to learn to be an adult and push through but too when he's being this good and this well behaved we need to reward him for being good too. I explained what I did with him and what we'd been working on, how I handled the situation when he'd do certain things and she agreed with my decisions on it so that made me happy. And him being so well today, to me says we did something right.

The other thing we discussed because Dante is very high energy, he has a lot of anxiety and so Pam and I had that discussion of always being mindful because he's passing so much anxious energy to me, so I dont' get anxious and make him hot. You can make this horse so-so hot just from your mindset. I'm pretty in control/aware of that, not perfect but for the most part I'm really good about channeling his anxiety and that energy else where. I think because I have such bad depressive/anxiety/ocd issues I've learned to manage :lol: and because I've ridden so many horses with mind issues. He's a hot horse, I like to say he's not but he is.

Dante also got his feet done (he needed them done so bad). And for the first time in his life he has 4 shoes on, I'm hoping this will get his crack to seal up finally! And keep him going well through summer.

My knees and lower back are killing me. It's really pathetic but I was on my feet all day. Having those limitations are hard on me because I want to push through the pain and be active but sometimes you have to accept limits or pay the consequences.

Very interesting also had a talk with a Lady about what it's like to be a working student and groom and systems of dressage training. Pam's style I consider more neoclassical, which is what I term Carl hester/Charlotte Dujardin, Hubertus Schmidts, Jean Bemelmans (trainer of Fuego's rider), etc. She was curious about the french/german and traditional systems and so that was an interesting talk. My favorite riders/trainers is probably Carl Hester and Hubertus Schmidt. I've been following them for probably 10yrs now but I'm super excited my trainer's trainer (Devon Kane) trains with Hubertus Schmidt.






And Hubertus Schmidt











___________________________

Tanja- oh definitely they have their opinions of how life ought to go for them! lol Ana may be a little spoiled but that's okay, she can work past it!! lol that's good Ana just has her mare tiff without a huge fullblown tantrum! Definitely a plus! And the lesson video you mentioned sounds a ton like a lesson I had on him a few months ago. 

Dante can get pretty nasty but he's SO SO SO much better than he used to be. How I rode him yesterday, there is absolutely NO way I could have done that a year ago unless I wanted him to flip over on top of me because he'd rear, buck, spook, bolt, etc. He's a lot better, so you actually can address things with him head on now and really get to the heart of an issue. You have to take in degrees. Can't do it all at once.
__________________________

Maggy- I'll have to check the calendar to see what days work best if you can't do Sunday. Maybe Monday? I'll have to check the calendar in the office tomorrow and get back to you. Because Sunday, the 22nd would work out well but I'll have to see if another day works, so the barn isn't a zoo.
_________________________

Whisperbaby22- Well thank you kindly :lol: we're working it through as we go. I know a year ago I couldnt' have addressed the issues we are now which is good, just gotta take it in degrees. He can handle a lot more now without blowing up. Definitely happens in phases as they grow up! I think it's the autistic aspects of my brains that help me to be articulate and detail oriented and think of things the way I do. There are definitely handicaps to it all but you notice things other people don't or you think of things in a unique way, so you have a different perspective to offer. Because it is a different brain type. 

And definitely! Definitely important to keep your brain active and keep making those connections and being busy! It makes all the difference in the world. Glad you keep your brain busy!
_______________________

Katie- Yes we had a lesson today after our rough ride and he went much better, so I think we worked through a lot of good things yesterday! Such fun dealing with these young guys isn't it? After yesterday I was seriously thinking about throwing in the towel and selling him because it was just ridiculous how bad he was being and how "rough" I felt I had to ride. Me riding rough you're not going to see any spinning on circle or spanking or jabbing in the mouth, you'll just see me get really deep into the saddle, drastically exaggerate the amount of bend I want and really make a point of this is what I expect and you will do it and just now letting up. It probably was ugly with him tossing his head back at my face, throwing his weight side to side and being like I put my leg on he pushes his weight into my leg, rather than yielding, and running past my half halts, tried to climb on top of me on the ground and he got his butt kicked. He looked scared of me and I was like yeah you should be. I've ridden and handled horses a lot tougher than you think you are. You will learn your place little boy. It reminded me of riding Ivan but not anywhere near that rough. Ivan was a 17.2h holsteiner and he was SUPER belligerent, rode like a stallion, such a jerk. Super smart and big, he was fully aware of his size and he wasn't good until you literally had him scared of you. So many transitions and being so quick to exaggerate your aids and expectation, your timing had to be spot on and your mind set and body. I had to be super strong in my upper body to half halt and not have him pull me out of the saddle, actually respect my aids or swish me around like a rag doll. Aids are never about strength but sometimes you need that strength for the correction to be effective, so you can address the issue. And people would say why are you so rough and I'm like when he slams your body into the wall in tack you then you can tell me how to ride him. I'm physically strong, so that helped a lot with him. 

This is Ivan. We were a good team, I rode him for about 3 years. I miss the good moments because he would be freakin awesome! But you had to be so on top of him and I just don't enjoy riding a horse like that. I'm not an aggressive rider/person and with him you had to be so assertive and like this is how it is but be tactful, no beating on him or bullying. Just this is your job, do it.





Yes he most definitely is! He HAS to be the center of attention, he has to be the "star" or he's a little upset about that.

Exactly!! I love the dam analogy, you have to allow them to warm up so they can use their whole back and get going better and better as they go.

Oh definitely! I have a lot-lot I can learn from Pam. She knows my limitations though and is understanding about that. I can push but I have to be careful. I can't be on my feet all day anymore. I can feel it in my back and knees really bad. Like I've collapsed on my knee before. I'm really pretty pain tolerant :lol: I didn't go to the ER originally until all the color had drained from my face and I was shaking, I was in so much pain.

That doesn't surprise me at all. A lot supervisors have no real-practical experience and that blows my mind. How can you supervise and make decisions for the people doing the work when you haven't done it yourself? It's like calling yourself a trainer without sitting on a horse but reading a ton of theories and books about how to ride.

lol I'm not a great singer either but I agree. It's good if they have a good story or message to enjoy!

Definitely not! It's really worth the investment. It cleans up the gunky stuff and build up SO SO well. I clean my gear after every use but I use it about once a week in rotation or whenever my stuff starts getting the gumpy build up. It's not harsh but not an everyday cleaner. Now I'm thinking about gumby for some reason :lol:

I really hope you're right when that time finally comes!! And I'm really glad you guys arent like that with each other either but you guys are emotionally mature and not cowards so you wouldn't be. I hate passive-aggressive behavior in general. It makes no sense to me. Just say what you want to!

I totally agree. We're in the same boat. Our horses are about the same age and basically the same cross, just them learning their place in the world and how to be a grown up. It really was a rough ride, I don't enjoy that. I don't like riding that way but I also know that's probably what he needed because today he was a lot better and a lot more respectful without the f-you the whole ride and pushing against my aids and threatening me. It took everything I had to ride him because I had to be so quick and exaggerate my expectation SO much and pull my elbows into my body and let him fight himself when he was tossing his body around from side to side and refusing to move forward until I made him. His motor is mostly seat, he knows what leg means but it means little/nothing to him if he doesnt feel like participating. I was thinking about selling him after that. He was being such a jerk.

And definitely! It's part of being a adult and having taken risks and failing/losing that really makes you get real about things. But I totally agree these kids that have never really lost or made those sacrifices are going to get a REALLY big wake up call when reality hits them in the face. And definitely. A lot of the times you can be the best qualified and not get chosen for a promotion because you're seen as a threat or for something petty and stupid or you can fail/lose giving everything you have to give.


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## Skyseternalangel

DanteDressageNerd said:


> *Maggie*- I'll have to check the calendar to see what days work best if you can't do Sunday. Maybe Monday? I'll have to check the calendar in the office tomorrow and get back to you. Because Sunday, the 22nd would work out well but I'll have to see if another day works, so the barn isn't a zoo.


So my starter went out in my car... I'm still planning to visit but I now have to budget for car tires too because the fronts are worn down to the teeth, per say.

I'm sorry things keep coming up :/


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## frlsgirl

Ivan is handsome! We also have an Ivan at our barn; a sweet and very needy chestnut Quarterhorse. He is turned out next to Ana and freaks out when I take Ana away; I had to stand with him for 10 minutes yesterday while I waited for the BO to get him; he always needs to have either a human or horse companion by his side or he loses his shiitake.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Skyseternalangel said:


> So my starter went out in my car... I'm still planning to visit but I now have to budget for car tires too because the fronts are worn down to the teeth, per say.
> 
> I'm sorry things keep coming up :/


That's alright. I think we've all been there where it seems anything that can go wrong, does go wrong and at some point you're just like well that's how it is. How else would it go? :lol: or at least that's how I try to be when things come up. We'll just plan for another time of whatever works best. I hope everything works out for you and it starts getting better  you're more than welcome to come out whenever you're able. I can compensate for gas money if it helps or I can head out that way sometime.
_____________________

And Tanja- Poor Ivan. It sounds like your guys Ivan was very sweet. I think a lot of horses get lonely if there is no one in sight or nervous, they're a prey animal but poor guy :-( 

This Ivan COULD be sweet but then if you weren't paying attention would hit you over the head with his head or try to slam you into the wall, climb on top of you or try something to show dominance. Under saddle if you didn't ride assertively he'd literally try to slam your leg and body into the wall. Not my favorite horse to ride but learned a lot on him like never let the horse fall through the outside shoulder or lose all you will :lol: and how to really engage my core and really anchor myself into the saddle. He was easy to sit, very comfortable just sometimes you had to anchor down or he'd take over the ride if you weren't on top of it. You had to be so sharp with him and you always had to make sure he met your expectation and didn't get away with anything, same on the ground. Only horse besides stallions/colts I've EVER had to handle in cross ties with a whip in hand while grooming and almost anytime I handled him. Horse was 1500-1600lbs solid 17.2h and so belligerent. He was owned as a weanling by an adult amateur and he was her first horse, so I think he learned some really bad things. I do not miss that. I don't miss stallion handling either, just have to be so aware, so sharp, and so assertive and quick to react for everything. Can't let them get away with anything or next your getting kicked in the head or have teeth coming at your face. Not all studs are like that, I've handled good ones too but there are some that are just awful and it's not that they were raised badly. They're just ones you always have to be on guard with, aware, paying attention, and quick to correct.
_____________________

I worked the last 2 days which has been nice. I loaded up on meds to keep the pain from getting awful in my knees and lower back. Been nice to keep busy and do something useful. Had a lesson on Dante yesterday and he tried his heart out. He was so tired and I think a bit sore (we didn't push him) just asked for easy stuff and he was awesome. I couldnt' have asked for more. And since I'm borrowing a saddle and dont' always know what hole I ride at. I had my stirrups too long but I have sensory issues so I was like Cassie you're okay but I was getting really mad because I couldn't get my legs under me right and I could feel they weren't stable enough, I'm so glad Dante was as tired as he was and it wasn't winter or he'd be a very upset pony. It was REALLY REALLY annoying but I couldn't get mad because I was on Dante and he gets so-so-so tense if I'm ever angry/frustrated or channel that kind of negative energy while on him. I wasn't mad at him, I was mad at my stupid legs like I feel you why do you feel so off? I felt so bad when I realize how bad it was, they didn't look long but they definitely felt long and I had to fish for them. I'm SO freaking lucky Dante's not as sensitive as he used to be but I'm mostly mad at myself for not fixing the problem and thinking I was just being neurotic :lol: which I am. I felt like I was fishing for them the entire ride :lol: We will have another lesson hopefully Saturday and try to get some video. He had today off, so I just groomed him, gave him a massage, did some stretches and nose kisses/scratches and loved on him. He was so crabby until he was loved on. He can make some awful faces. He needs a bath but I'm going to bathe him tomorrow. 

It also cracks me up because I'm so used to how much movement is in his trot, he is so bouncy but it's not uncomfortable there is just a lot of movement so honestly you're never going to look still sitting his trot. I basically just melt my whole lower body into him and kinda anchor myself into the saddle or I'm pretty sure I'd be in the rafters somewhere :lol: no he's not that bad but you definitely have to anchor yourself. I had a friend ride him and she has a nice seat but she was like omg how do you sit this horse? trot and canter are hard to stay with. His canter is better the more collected he is but there is a lot of back and forth motion.

Also had a nice relaxing evening yesterday, I actually colored in a coloring book like a child because I'm not talented enough to draw :lol: but I like colors, I like harmony and balance in things. But I have NO artistic talent of any kind. 

Also good news is it looks like we're going to start getting the baby horses started again. I do not know how many we're going to try to break this summer but we have Friday, Saturday, Quira, Dev, Frankie, and Qiwi who are all ready...I saw quite a few of them being born, so it's cool to be apart of that whole process. I was involved as much with the younger ones but the older ones yes. I don't know what the plan is but I'm kinda excited. I like babies.

A few pics. We didn't ask him to be very up. He really felt too tired to really sit. We had a short video but I'm not going to load it. We might get some more Saturday in our next lesson.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Not really good news today.

We're back to square one with Dante. I'm definitely looking at getting genetic testing and a muscle biopsy done because something isn't right with him. I felt something was a little off when I got on, he wasn't willing to move forward. Dante is a forward horse so that's weird but he really didn't want to move forward, so I thought okay he's had a day off maybe he's a little stiff and a little sore, he'll work out of it. We did some figures of 8's, he was also really leaning on the right shoulder and wanted to be crooked through the right hind, so I rode through that. He didnt' feel right through his back, like he was resisting through the wither area, so I thought maybe the saddle is pinching him and it hurts to be through. So I lunged him and all the same stuff. He also did not want to pick up the left lead canter on the lunge line and going right the crookedness I felt, he wasn't willing to bring the right hind under and really bend properly so we stopped and I want to cry. Just everything wasn't normal about him and he's really-really crabby, so I think he's in pain and I don't know why. Im cancelling my lesson for Saturday and my trainer saw him go (we were riding at the same time) and said he just doesn't look quite right. Not off but his movement wasn't as free as it usually is. Same on the lungeline. 

I think I'm just going to have a muscle biopsy done and test for PSSM or other muscular issues. We have a PSSM horse at the barn, so if we need to put him on the diet, it wont be anything crazy and put him in some kind of program. I think I'm also going to have a panel done. I don't know what it is but he was really-really crabby. He's always sorta crabby but usually he's a bit cheeky, mischievous and playful too. He just didn't seem happy, except when grazing. And after that I may be looking at getting on rotation with a vet my trainer knows from Kentucky whose supposed to be pretty spectacular. And I don't know. I just want him to feel better.

To me he's worth the investment. I think he's a nice horse and maybe I'm going to end up needing a new horse which I don't want to think about. I really-really don't want to think about but that is a possibility and I can't not look at a possibility, just because it makes me sad. That's how life is. Decisions-priorities-choices-circumstance you didn't account for and constantly wondering if you're doing the right thing or if you made the right decisions without knowing for sure that you did.

When it comes to this stuff I try to stay pretty objective and keep emotion out of the equation. I think it's important to be realistic about what you can or cant do and where that line or limit is. Everything seems to come with a condition and it seems to be a matter of figuring out what that condition is. And I'm always trying to prepare for the worst possible outcome, so if it comes to pass I'm mentally and emotionally prepared to make the decisions I have to make.

See how he's standing? His posture isn't normal for him. He looks like something isn't right and I don't know what it is. 



Pasture mate is 18.2h




On the brighter side of things. I got to hop on Deveroux for a moment and he was really good. Dev is a 4yr old. He's broke but no ones been on him in a little while. Saturday we were going to do but ran out of time. Someone wants to try my saddle *fingers crossed* they're local and my other trainer knows them. Worked which is good and bathed Dante. My body is really sore.


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## Rainaisabelle

I'm really sorry :/ hopefully you get some answers :/ I know how much it sucks when you try everything but it isn't getting any better ..


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## Zexious

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through these tribulations. It can be hard to take a step back and really consider your options--I totally get that. 
I wish you and Dante--he is such a handsome boy. I swoon over him every single time I look at your thread <3--all the best moving forward, and will be hoping for some positive updates. Maybe with tweaks in diet will be helpful. 

Keep us posted and stay strong <3


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## Tihannah

So sorry to hear this, Cassie. This seems like a never ending battle for you and Dante and its just not fair. :-( He's such a young horse and you've done so much to keep him healthy. I really hope you can find a solid solution soon.


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## Skyseternalangel

Sending you hugs and good vibes <3


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## Dehda01

Have you ruled out Lyme/ehrlichiosis/anaplasmosis in the past? I know where in the country you are from, but thought you were east coast.


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## whisperbaby22

This is bizzare. My horse is the same way, very forward on the trail, if he is not moving out, something is wrong. He has an old injury to the hip, after 20 years it is bothering him again, and I am dealing with it. My horse now stands exactly like Dante is now. I've had 5 abcesses in a row on the near front from this. So sorry you are going through it.


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## Wallaby

*hugs* I'm thinking positive thoughts for you guys!

Edit: if you get a muscle biopsy done (which I think is a really good idea, if his genetic tests come up clear), have Dr. Stephanie Valberg at University of Michigan go over the samples. She's pretty much the authority on muscle myopathies and interpreting muscle biopsies.
I think it's something like $180 for fresh muscle and $80 for formalin fixed, with desmin. And that desmin (not sure what it is personally) is super important for detecting a couple of different myopathies.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate it. And Dante really is a handsome boy, I love him a lot. He's very interactive and funny. Very loving when he wants to be and way too smart for his own good, he's a good boy but naughty too. I'm mostly worried about him. I don't like not having answers and I do have a limit on how much I can spend investigating, so I'm hoping there is something in the blood work or something that would explain what's going on that's simple and not going to prevent him from having a dressage career. I know if he can't continue as a dressage horse, I will find him a new home. I have good resources to find him a good home if that came to pass. I can only afford 1 horse and I can't afford to keep a horse as a pet. I wouldn't buy a new horse for a while but I'd probably lease until I'm done with school and have a good job. The only part that scares me is that's a very real possibility. I've seen it happen before. Mystery stuff either ends up well or it ends up badly. The vet said to just ride and watch him over the next few days and see if anything changes but I think something is going on because to me this kind of soreness and posture and how weird he feels on the right hind isn't normal. He really contorted my body so I had to keep moving my position back to center which he always does a little bit (that's pretty normal) but this was pretty extreme.

I've really tried to take all the preventative measures with him. I was really upset with my old eventer that I didn't have the means to take care of him the way I wanted which is why I didn't buy a horse until I knew I had the money to take care of him the way I wanted. Plus as a groom and working student I've watched horses go through diagnostics, surgery, treatment and seen what happens if you let things wait and sit around. I've tried to take preventative measures because I think it makes a difference long term, especially when they're young. Spend the money upfront and hope it keeps them well.
______________________

Rainaisabelle-thank you. I really hope we can find some answers. We havent tried everything yet which is good news but I'm hoping we start having some answers and I'm hoping it's something simple and nothing extreme. It's really not fun going through all the diagnostic work and thinking you found the problem, only to realize the problem is deeper than we thought and takes us back to the drawing board.

Zexious-thank you. He's a pretty handsome boy. I told my trainer I found his new career, Dante needs to be a model. She was like Cassie I think you need to be real and looked at Dante and was like you're really pretty but you don't get to dream of life as a model, you're a dressage horse :lol: 

Tina- I've tried to do as much as I can with him that I know to do and can afford to do. It is unfortunate but as bitter as this may sound, I'm used to it. This has been the kind of things that have happened throughout my life. I don't think life is fair and it's unfortunate but a lot of bad things happen to good people. My friend Debbie has it a lot worse, I can't even imagine she's had a brain tumor, pneomonia, she had sepsis last year and almost died then weird injury after weird injury. Like she finally healed after breaking her leg (femur went through her knee cap dismounting from her 15h horse) not a rough fall just went through. She was well for 2 weeks, fell and broke her hip. Her son has sever crohns disease and she somehow keep her head up and so cheery. She is a beautiful person inside and out, it kills me so much happens to her, through not fault of her own and her bone density scans are good. Just weird stuff that is not in her control. Maybe for some of us that's just how our life goes but we're not allowed to be bitter or resentful, just accept it and let it mold us into better people. I cant stand the people who use misfortune as an excuse for everything in their life, so I refuse to become like that. Especially when there are so many with worse experiences and lives than me.

Maggie- Thank you kindly.

Dehda-I asked the vet draw blood today (he was out for another horse) and we're checking for lymes, tick born illnesses, etc. Those are definitely possibilities. I'm in the midwest and Dante is a tick magnet. I've pulled a ton off of him but I've put a good but expensive tick repellent on him and that has helped a lot. Lymes would make sense with how he's acting. I had him tested in December and came back negative for lymes but definitely possible. And we were on the east coast for the first 5-6 months I owned him but I'm no longer a Marine and went home.

Whisperbaby22- I'm sorry your horse has gone through so many abscesses and isn't feeling well :-( never fun to see your horse in pain or uncomfortable but thank you. I hope your baby feels well soon too!

Wallaby-Thank you for your insight!! I know you know a lot about this sort of thing and have done WAY WAY more research than I have, having gone through are still experiencing things with Fabio. Trying to figure out what's going on with him.
_________________

The only thing I know with horses is it can be anything, anything can happen and just because you see a symptom of something doesn't mean that's what it is. I can't even begin to say how many times we were so sure a horse had a leg lameness and it was actually in their back or neck or even their poll or how many times we had a horse have a lot of weird symptoms and the owners spend thousands just to find out they need surgery or they have lymes, epm or one horse has PSSM. 

And in general life isn't fair. Expecting it to all work out for the best in my experience leads to drastic disappointments which is why I try not to get excited about the future or my plans because for me they always fall through, not necessarily through any fault of my own but just weird happenings/coincidences like with the Marines, my body literally fell apart. With horses I just didn't have enough money to campaign and compete but I got to ride 3-5 horses a day for a few years. In every area of my life that's how it is, whether it's horses, relationships, or career. I'm used to it, I don't feel sorry for myself just it is what it is and you get used to it. You don't stop trying or hoping but you just dont expect anything. I've worked myself into the ground, bent over backwards and tried to control what I can but there is SO SO much you can't and never will have control over and you cant be resentful or you'll be miserable. I think that's something you learn as you age and gain experience. There is something to whatever it is that allows our ambition, hard work and application of effort to work out or not. Maybe it's luck, I don't know and some of us things just that's how our lives work out but I used to watch foreign documentaries and watched a 12yr old girl in India sold into prostitution and I thought no matter how my life goes, at least I will NEVER have the memory of my family selling me into a life of such abuse. I literally balled my eyes out listening to her story, not from the words but her expression. There was a real deadness and agony in her eyes, you only see in someone whose seen/experienced extreme loss/pain/suffering. Wondering where my next meal is coming from or not shower. Or I'll read the story of Job, which is my favorite from the old testament. 

Main focus right now is figuring out what's going on with Dante and maybe it really isnt anything but he just played too rough in the field and strained a muscle and is really sore but stuff has been going on for a while. It could be coincidental but I'm used to things not working out and I don't believe them when they actually do.

The vet suggested we keep him in work for the next few days and see if anything changes. So I'm going to try riding him later today and see how it goes. He also wants my trainer to hop on and see what she feels. She's a far superior rider to me and she is very experienced with this sort of thing, so I'm grateful/fortunate for that and to have good resources available to me.


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## Rainaisabelle

I really know how you feel :/ when I started having issues with Roy it was like a constant up and down. Constant chiro appointments/second opinions ugh now we are trying these shots and I'm hoping they will be the end of it ! I see loads of potential in Roy but if he can't perform to what I'm looking for I can't afford to keep him and it breaks my heart :/


Keep us updated !


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## DanteDressageNerd

Completely understandable. I hope the shots continue to help Roy and are pretty manageable or not too expensive. Horses are expensive period then maintenance is a whole nother issue. Always something with these guys.

Tonight I rode Dante because the vet said to ride him for a few days and see if anything changes. In case the saddle was a factor I rode bareback. He was better but not right. When I first gathered my reins he was fine to gather up but I really had to push him towards the contact because he wanted to suck back with his neck absolutely elevated and not lift his back, so I sent him through to the contact and he met it. Moved him off the outside shoulder, counter flex a bit left to get him to connect and get his right hind in line with his body. He's still not right, I think saddle fit may be part of it because we had no forward issue today. But going left on the lunge line he didn't want to give in the base of his neck and be entirely through, undersaddle I could move his shoulder and get him to give in his rib cage and connect to the outside rein, and send him through. There were a few times in canter he got stuck so I put both reins forward and legged him on to meet the contact, and get him to lift up through his wither and not suck back, very annoying. Going right something is definitely not right, he was leaning so bad at the trot on that shoulder. I could get him to pick it up and put it in line, counter flexed a bit to get the shoulder in line, added inside leg to get him to put his shoulder in line, had to do a bit of taking on the inside rein (more than I would like to) but basically take 3 seconds, give the inside rein, lateral step out into the outside rein half halt and his shoulder would be there and he give from the base of his neck but it's not right. He shouldn't be leaning that bad. Canter right was beautiful but I want to know what makes left canter so difficult for him that he want to suck back and not really give in his whole neck, lift up out of his withers and going right trotting he leans so badly with his right shoulder but right canter is lovely. I also want to know what is going on with his muscles that he's getting this sore. We have not been working him to death or asking for things drastically outside of where he is. Tonight he was very willing, no fussiness or temper tantrums but something still isn't quite right. He was SUPER bouncy tonight, even bareback I was like yowzers I didn't lose rhythm but I was like thank God my hips are very supple or I'd be flying into the rafters about now. I dont' know why he's so bouncy, I think he's gotten bouncier or at least tonight he felt super bouncy. I think that's a good thing? He felt a lot more free and open in his stride and he felt more expressive, I didn't ask him to really sit or come back or anything, just be through and balanced.

I'm glad he was perky today at least, very interactive and seemed cheerful.

I tried to get pictures of the part of his back, I think the saddle we tried may have been pinching him because that's the area he was resistive in yesterday, didn't want to lift up through the withers. Area just behind the shoulder blades His back shape changes drastically between when he's standing vs in work. So I'm REALLY REALLY worried about his saddle coming because it has a custom template because the saddle fitter took measure of his back standing square but not with his back up. And I remember Debbie Witty when she explained her saddle fitting demo said she does a belly lift, let's them fall a little bit and that gives her a better idea of what will fit the horse. You have to fit the horse in motion because doing work is how the saddle needs to be fitted to the horse. Debbie Witty made trilogy saddles. Awesome lady, really knows her stuff.

And Dante does ground tie.






Dante's I see you have a banana and I'm pretty sure that's mine face.


And I found something to play with


Dante also gave me kisses. He was very kissy. I kissed his nose while his mouth was still foamy and he lifted his lip to kiss me back and I got foam all over my mouth *yuck* at least he had a fecal test recently and showed 0% worms. I'm glad he was so much happier today.





Also the video from the other day. The canter I couldn't get him to sit, we thought he was just tired so we didn't push it and just focused on basics. He went better sitting vs posting, that's not that unusual. And yes he is VERY bouncy, it's not painful/jarring just lots of up and down motion. I uploaded it since we probably wont have any video for a while. Nothing great but it's like us, if we're sore or not feeling well we can't perform the same. Maybe I could have pressured him to sit more but I feel like I'd have lost the throughness and we weren't emphasizing that, just obedient and respectful which he was.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Rode Dante today. 

He's just not quite right and I'm not convinced he's just muscularly sore. He was pretty swollen through his shoulders. Wasn't willing to give or sit his left shoulder up going left, he just wanted to brace. In transitions I had to really ride him to keep him from throwing his head up. Lots of counter flexion and sending him through. He was forward but he's just not right. I wanted to cry after the ride, I feel like I pushed for more than I should have. I didn't ask him to sit, just walk, trot, canter both directions being through, balanced, and true. But after the ride his shoulders were swollen he was very sensitive and resisting to lift the right side of his belly. He felt very good at the trot, free, forward, balanced, plenty of swing over his back, lifting up out of his withers and pushing from behind but he's just not using his body the way he should be, he felt braced lower side of his left neck and in the shoulder. I couldn't get him to release it. He did that yesterday on the lungeline but not undersaddle, he just feels weird and like something is wrong. Tomorrow I don't want to work him at all. Vet will probably look at him again on Tuesday. 

I'm trying to make a list of symptoms so maybe it can at least point us in the right direction. I am super-super sensitive, so I feel a lot I can't really explain. Part of it is I'm trained to feel it and part of it is just probably the autistic aspects.

I hope they drew blood on him yesterday, like I asked because I want answers. If blood test comes back negative, I want a muscle biopsy because I think it's something to do with his muscles and I don't think it's just in his back. His neck, shoulders, hip and belly muscle aren't normal. He wasn't happy today either :-( he just isn't himself and that upsets me. But he tried his heart out today, he tried so-so hard and that kills me. He was a really good boy. 

In general just frustrated and want to rip my hair out and cry like a child. Just the highs and lows of this sport and life in general. I'm just tired. I'm tired of every aspect of my life resolving itself in a dead end or bitter disappointment or unbearable pain and keep trying to have a good outlook about it but I think you just get tired and frustrated. Each time something happens, youre like it's okay, it can always be worse, it's okay, it can be worse. Or it's okay, at least Dante is going well or at least Dante is healthy and he's not healthy. I don't know if we'll be able to fix what he has or if I'll end up spending thousands of dollars with no answers for what's going on with him. Yeah it could be worse, yeah there are other people who have it worse than I do, I know I'm not owed a dam thing but I'm just fed up and tired of feeling like a massive failure for things I can't control. No matter what I do or don't do, it's not enough. And it irks me when I see other people at my barn who haven't put in half the work I have, yet they're having success and things just keep working out for them. I'm happy for them, it's just like when will things work out for me? Or am I just one of those people whose meant to fight and struggle their whole life and end it with disappointment. The frustrating part is the things that haven't worked out in my life are not because of something I did/didn't do but the things outside of my control. If I could influence it, it'd be something I could change but always-always-always something whether it's relationships, career, my health, horses, or anything else. Just marks of failure. I think you can put with so much and struggled so much that you start getting tired of taking the detour, long, strenuous path and just want something to work of every single aspect of my life. It used to be well my life may be falling apart but at least I have Dante or at least he's going well or if we had a bad ride, at least he's healthy and now I don't even know that he is or if we'll figure it out or I'll end up spending God knows how much with no answers. I'm just tired of things never going smoothly for me. Lord knows if I ever feel safe, ever feel content, ever feel hope for any extent of time it'll blow up in my face somehow, it always does. It's like why bother hoping? Can't explain it to younger people who havent failed but you really can giving it absolutely everything you have, sacrificing sleep, your health and well being. You're not owed a dam thing in this life, even if you give it your all. You're not even owed good health. You're not owed the well being of those around you. And even if I end up having to get a new horse down the road, they won't be Dante. I may have more success and do better with them but they're not Dante.

Can you see the swelling?


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## Dehda01

When he was tested for EPM, he had neuro signs? Did they think there was a possibility of wobblers or kissing spines? Have you had any neck or spine X-rays done?


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## whisperbaby22

Yes, and hopefully the more symptoms he shows, the easier it will be to figure this out.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Dehda- When we tested for EPM, he had a low positive. He had no neuro signs until we started him on estrone for his right stifle while he was still growing because it was weak. I thought maybe symptoms showed up because steroids can compromise the immune system. We started treatment when his hind end started slipping out. He didn't fall but he tripped/lost his balance and I remember I had a lesson and we did a downward transition where he slipped out from under himself (didn't fall down) just lost his balance and we ended it right there. 

We had x-rays taken of his back in September or October and they were completely clean, nothing abnormal. I haven't had his neck or croup x rayed. I don't think he has wobblers because he seems to be pretty aware of his body. He's pretty balanced/coordinated. It could be, with horses there is always a possibility of essentially anything. Even the x rays could be different now, though I hope not. No fever.

Whisperbaby22- I hope so. My hope is it is something simple and not too difficult to work out. Lyme disease is very possible, we have ticks and I've pulled quite a few off of Dante. Not as much recently, we put a bug off tick thing on him that the vet recommended and it seems to work pretty well. But it could be just about anything and maybe something I have no idea about. My hope is it's very treatable and nothing crazy expensive but if it is I have insurance on him that should help cover quite a bit of it.


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## Dehda01

Kissing spine or cervical arthritis are all very common as well, which is why I would go to cervical X-rays next. But I would be curious about legs and shoeing job in general, hocks,and si joint. A wonderful diagnosis would be tick disease... Easily treatable with doxycycline. But he looks like he is very body sore.


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## frlsgirl

Man! We must be living parallel lives because I'm in the exact same boat with Ana right now; I wanted to cry all weekend but we were busy with other things. Vet is coming out today to do a whole work-up. It's so heartbreaking when you pour your heart and soul into your horse and then something like this happens. I'm glad your trainer and you are on the same page though; my trainer is like "oh, she's a little off but fine" or "no, she's fine"....you know your horse, so you listen to your gut. That's probably the biggest lesson I learned this weekend. Nobody knows your horse like you. I'm thinking about having a reading done with an animal communicator; that way we can at least narrow down the area of discomfort.

Anyway, my heart goes out to you and Dante because I totally get it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Dehda- It's very possible it could be anything or multiple things. Maybe there is something in his neck or SI and something else *shrugs* I think there is something to do with his muscles. For the work we've done this past week he shouldn't be this sore and it's nothing specific that is really sore, just his whole body. I've never seen him this sore or this lethargic/not peppy or expressive/opinionated. He's been a little blah personality wise or flat which isn't normal. He's usually very interactive, alert, somewhat nervous, and cheeky.
_________

Tanja- definitely. When you know your horse and you can feel what's going on and something isn't right, something isn't right and you have to listen to yourself. I spent a lot of my earlier years in horses accepting every opinion other than my own and assuming everyone else knew better than me and I found that ended up poorly but I hope the vet can find what's going on with Ana and it's a simple fix you can isolate. An animal communicator might be a good idea. I haven't used one before but Ive heard good things.

Plus I think our horses become something like our children and it's hard when something is wrong with them and we don't have a solution or some way to help them. We do our best but I think we hold a lot of fear too. I hope they can find a solution for Ana. And thank you I hope Dante starts feeling better too. It affects you in a weird way, like straight to the heart when they're not okay.


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## frlsgirl

I just had another thought....didn't you have him injected all over his back recently? Maybe he's still sore from the needle ****** or having some sort of adverse reaction to it? Just a thought.


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## DanteDressageNerd

It's possible. I don't think that's it but it could be *shrugs* he seemed fine a few days after the needle injections and was normal for a few days then wasnt normal. I don't know what caused the change or if they're related to each other but who knows. My trainer contacted someone in Kentucky whose supposed to be really-really good to maybe have a look at him and help us figure out what's going on.

We've had a few "mystery" horse stuff. Felix, her main competition horse had lyme disease then I don't know what all he's had but a lot of diagnostics and figuring things out, Ivan broke his shoulder had a piece of his shoulder removed, was fine then fractured his C1 or C2 vertebrae but is still alive and has movement in his eyes and can blink, go out to pasture (he's at a different farm), my friend's mare ended up having kissing spine and after vaccinations had this flesh eating bacteria that dies when it's touched by oxygen. She recognized the signs quickly and rushed her to the vet's because hse had a horse who had it after a banamine injection and had to have part of his neck muscles removed, tons on Sophie ended up being ulcers, Bailey has SI injections, Alfie has neck injections *shrugs* lots of ones. I'm lucky my trainer has some connections this way.


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## Tazzie

Good lord I missed a lot!!

I got SO excited when your first ride after the crummy one was so good. Then I kept reading. Now I'm devastated :sad:

The vet was coming today? I can't remember now. I really, really hope it's something treatable. I just don't want to see his journey with Dressage end like this.

I really have no idea what it could be. Have you taken his temperature at all? Only wonder due to the lethargy. The inability to canter left or balance right made me think of his right stifle, which I think you said was his weaker one? Just trying to think of things. Though, that wouldn't attribute to a personality change I wouldn't think unless it was REALLY hurting him. Also how he stood in the picture I thought it was that leg too.

I wish I could help you more :sad: just crummy for you


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## DanteDressageNerd

Yeah. Missed the Dante drama :lol: not proud of it. I hate drama, it just seems unnecessary and pointless. 

Dante's temperature has been fine. He's drinking and eating fine, just his body is so not right. There's not really anything that's really "off" he's not lame or irregular. He's just not right like he really can't collect in the dressage sense. I asked him a little bit and he did because I asked but he felt like he was really struggling, so I stopped. Canter is a disaster because he can't sit or collect and his natural canter when he can't sit is all forehand qh canter and training wise that's upsetting but the sad part is he's not himself. He was cheeky and playful Saturday night, so I was optimistic about that but Sunday he was just not himself. Not alert, not anxious or cheeky or happy. He's just blah and to ride he's blah, no attitude, opinion, anxious energy but he tries his heart out and it's really-really sad. The vet wanted him to stay in work. I gave him today off. My trainer contacted a vet who is supposedly a really-really excellent vet from Kentucky, so we might have him come out here and have a look at Dante and help us with this if it's not simple. And at the end we might still not have answers but we're gonna try. And insurance should cover quite a bit if we need to do a lot of investigative work or surgery. I thought my vet was coming out tomorrow but I guess he's gone to a conference so no one is seeing him tomorrow, except me :lol:

And his right stifle is the weak one, his right leg in general is his weak point. Vet when he did Dante's back said so too when he evaluated him for soundness as well. He can canter left he just wants to brace the underside of his neck on the left side and he wants to suck back in his neck and carry himself high but not reaching and stretching to the bit so I put both reins forward and sent him to it then tried to help his inside shoulder or I counter flex and get bend through the rib cage and I dont know how to explain the feeling other than when I put my knee on it feels like he braces into it like he's protecting himself. Not being disobedient, just protective because he doesn't want to be true and engage himself correctly. 

I don't know, I appreciate the effort  my only thoughts of what makes sense to me is lymes disease or PSSM but it could be anything and I'm not a vet or specialist of any kind, so we'll just have to wait for more answers. 

If this is the end of his dressage career, I'll probably show him in a few HUS arab classes and find him a good home. I'm sure my other trainer could easily find him a good home if it came to that, she knows a TON of people and has a TON of connections and knows who people are, who they train with and how they treat horses. So we could find him a good-appropriate home if we had to. Or if he needs to be a pasture pet we could probably find someone who needs a companion horse or wants a pretty horse for the backyard who would treat him well. TONS and TONS of horse people with private property where I am.

And if that happened I probably wouldn't buy another horse for a little while, I might keep my eye out but I'd probably wait until I had a good amount of money saved up. I don't really want to think about that but I have to be realistic and I know how God deals his cards. I'm used to things not just going south but deep south, so if push comes to shove at least I'll be prepared.


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## frlsgirl

DanteDressageNerd said:


> If this is the end of his dressage career, I'll probably show him in a few HUS arab classes and find him a good home. I'm sure my other trainer could easily find him a good home if it came to that, she knows a TON of people and has a TON of connections and knows who people are, who they train with and how they treat horses. So we could find him a good-appropriate home if we had to. Or if he needs to be a pasture pet we could probably find someone who needs a companion horse or wants a pretty horse for the backyard who would treat him well. TONS and TONS of horse people with private property where I am.
> 
> And if that happened I probably wouldn't buy another horse for a little while, I might keep my eye out but I'd probably wait until I had a good amount of money saved up. I don't really want to think about that but I have to be realistic and I know how God deals his cards. I'm used to things not just going south but deep south, so if push comes to shove at least I'll be prepared.


:sad: you are sounding a lot like me right now; trying to prepare yourself for the worst possible outcome :sad:

Hopefully, it won't come to this; maybe it's just a small bump in the road and you'll learn something valuable from it.


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## Tazzie

Now I'm curious who from here you will be using :lol: I know my best friend knows a lot of amazing vets, so curious if it's the one she adores.

I can understand how the regression would be upsetting, but that the drastic change in him is more upsetting.

This is definitely not an easy position to be in, and I truly hope this isn't the beginning of the end.

I'm glad you at least have options and a tentative plan if it comes down to it, but I'm still hoping it won't come to that.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I understand. I think Ana will heal well and be able to continue with dressage but I agree. I really hope it's a small bump in the road and nothing more.

Katie- I'm not sure what his name is, I'm sure Pam has mentioned it but I don't know atm. I'll have to ask her. 

And it really is. I don't like regression but you can't push past what they're able to give, even if you can make them do it doesn't mean you should. It's not fair. 

The way I see it is, if this is it we had a good run. I learned a lot from him and on him. And if I wanted to try to get a horse as well trained and at the same level as Dante I couldn't afford it. I looked on line and even at 20k the horses that are "schooling 2nd" are missing a lot of holes that take a while to fill and they're too dull/tune out the rider vs jump off the aids. And honestly I want something hot. Im a lot better at calming a horse down and making them relax than I am at getting them riled up. Hot horses are easier to get expressive, dull ones it's hard to get that kind of enthusiasm. And I don't enjoy riding something that fades out white noise, rather than gets upset by it. It may sounds ridiculous but I like riding something with personality and quirks. Riding Dante so blah made me realize how much I can't stand riding a horse who doesn't have all the attitude like he usually does. If I put too much pressure in my outside leg for a canter transition instead of just position and ask and he lifts up and gets upset about it. I like that about him and him being so blah is really sad because he's not himself :-( I like his high strung, nervous energy and sensitivity. It's frustrating sometimes but at the end of the day it makes us both better. And that's what Devon really liked about him too. She thought he'd be a very nice "finished product" but the earlier stages would be rough because he has to be taught to sit and carry so much to appear level-uphill vs the other horses. And how he goes its more what judges reward at the upper levels vs lower level he'd probably do okay but not well. He doesn't move out and fluid/lofty which is what judges like to see at the lower levels, he moves very up and down and at the upper levels you get grades more on accuracy/correctness of movement where he can make up for lack of quality.

I thought maybe I'd ask Pam about leasing her mare if Dante is unfit for dressage. This mare is phenomenal but she is SUPER SUPER sensitive, like breathe wrong and she's going to lose her mind. I'd probably learn a lot on her but that's the kind of horse I like. She's not mean or nasty, just sensitive and when she was younger had an intense amount of pressure put on her which is why she's so sensitive but she's not nearly as bouncy as Dante so at least she's be easier to stay organized/together on :lol: You have to hold yourself together so much on Dante, yet be so fluid and relaxed/supple. There is also a half arabian, registered hanoverian mare at another barn within an hour I'd consider looking at. She's 4 and she'd need to be totally retrained but she's nice with a good price.

I'd obviously prefer to keep Dante because I love him and I love how he rides and I want to earn my bronze and silver medal on him. And he finally really understood contact, he half halts and sits (last video no, he felt like he was too tired to sit in canter) but his base was getting really solid. I already know talking to Pam he'd be harder to develop because he


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## frlsgirl

I know exactly what you mean; Ana is also a little high strung and sensitive and that's what I like about her and that's what makes her stand out in the Dressage ring - she is very expressive in her movement; at the same time she is fairly level headed and doesn't get too upset about stuff which is also great for Dressage because as you take them to shows, you want them to be able to deal with their environment. It's so hard to find that combination of just hot enough to be expressive and forward but not so hot that they spook through an entire Dressage test.

And yes it is very upsetting when your usually lively horse is just dragging himself through the arena; and others say "oh he's fine or she's fine" because they don't know your horse; what seems fine to others is wrong for your horse.


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## Skyseternalangel

I'm sorry I haven't been there for you lately... 

It is just like you to have a back up plan in place, but first allow the vet to do their thing and provide you with some answers so then you aren't cutting yourself off/isolating yourself emotionally. Whatever is going on with Dante will hopefully be figured out by the end of that vet visit. He's such a talented resilient horse, who has already proven himself as a fighter. He's your baby boy, and of course you know when something is off. It's so important as his momma (and Tanja as Ana's momma) to be quick to notice any changes. You aren't paranoid!!!! You just know your babies inside and out and can detect things no one else really can.

When is the appointment?


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## Tazzie

I'd be curious to know 

I hope you didn't take my post as implying you should push past it :lol: I would never ask a horse that clearly can't do something to push past it. Especially when you know the horse like you know Dante and I know Izzie. Regression, in my opinion, is better than totally destroying their spirit and willingness to work with you by making them do something they physically cannot do.

I totally understand what you are saying. I HATE dull horses with a passion. They just aren't my kind of ride. I want a forward mount who you need to ask to bring back, not constantly rile up. I don't mind a horse that spooks at stuff, in the beginning. But the more experience/show miles they get, the more I expect them to handle. Izzie is at a point where we show next to ferris wheels at our local fair. I tell her if she can work past that, a judges box is nothing :lol: but the sensitive ones definitely get ramped up for showing, and really bring out a new level of flare at a show.

And please don't get ahead of yourself looking at other horses yet. I know back up plans are a great idea, but I refuse to believe this is the end of Dante's run. I just don't want to believe it (blame my optimism :lol Both mares sound great, but I would really work on figuring out Dante right now. I know you are, because he's your baby, but I just don't want too much negative thinking on it. Negativity begets negativity is what my mom always says. When you think negative thoughts about something, something negative will happen.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- thank you. I agree it's hard to find a horse that suits you and is what you need them to be and has the right mind set to enjoy what you enjoy and you enjoy working with them. And it's really hard as their mama to watch them change from an enthusiastic, spirited horse to a down trodden, defeated horse :-( the spirit and enthusiasm is something to admire and I think that's what I like about dressage. It's compliance and obedience, not bullying and intimidation that creates such a strong and unifying bond. You don't want to break their spirit but redirect it. Through dressage we're able to teach our horse how to cope with pressure and scary circumstances and to trust us. I'm really glad you were able to recognize something wrong with Ana, even when everyone was telling you otherwise. That's a really hard thing to do, to say to someone more knowledgeable than yourself that no something is wrong.

Dante for example used to be super spooky, it took a lot to get him around the arena but now if the's scared, you can shoulder in or get his attention without a blow up. Just here you go, it's okay and Dante trusts me and says okay rather than blows up. He might look or jump a little bit but it's not going down the arena side ways. Though at the show we took him to, going around the rail, I had him in shoulder in or renvers the entire time because other wise we were flying around side ways which is why his first test is so tense. I was determined we would do the pattern and he wouldn't spook. Better to be a little tense and teach him the arena won't eat him, then to be fluid and him panicked and taking off around the arena. During winter though we had quite a few rides where he was like riding a ticking time bomb and I remember I exhaled while he was on a loose rein and we were flying side ways :lol: it was pretty funny to me at least. It shouldn't be because he was really scared but to me it's funny. And it was like half-halt, half-halt, half halt, shoulder in, laterals to keep him loose and to keep from being tense and running away on his lightning legs. Laterals are gods gift for high energy :lol: but having a soothing energy/persona and control of your anxiety and mind is really important too. I'm sure Ana is the same in that if you're tense, nervous or anxious she tenses and reflect the energy you're putting out.

Dante's fun because he can that very timid, nervous, anxious horse who needs a lot of reassurance and confidence boosting, then he can be super belligerent and needs you to be like oh no, you're a jerk. No this is your job, no you're not a stallion and no you do not take over the ride and do whatever you want. A clinician joked Dante was internally conflicted, he isn't sure if he's a neurotic schizophrenic or a bitter old man rocking in a chair on his porch with a shot gun. My theory is he's torn between the good/light and the dark side :lol:
________________________

Maggie-Thank you and it's okay. I'm not entirely sure when the next appointment is. I'm looking at doing blood work (I asked it to be drawn Saturday but I don't know for sure that they did) and a muscle biopsy with Mark (the main vet we use) and if we don't get answers from there before we spend a ton of money taking diagnostics further, I want to work with this vet in Kentucky (I don't know their name). Pam told me with Felix, how his owner (one of my favorite people in the world) but she spent 3k getting diagnostics done on Felix with a very good vet but not a top vet and then they switched to the top vet because they had no answers who was initially more expensive but with 2k they found answers vs spending the 3k and getting none and I dont mind spending the money up front if we're going to get answers, rather than spend a ton of money over a period of time with none at all which is a big fear of mine. There is a limit for what you can do but I do have insurance and they should cover some of the diagnostic work or surgery (if it goes that far) depending on what we need to do, so we'll need to be in contact with them too. I'm not good with uncertainty. 

This is why I waited 4-5yrs after Kahlua to buy a new horse because I was scared if things went wrong of not having the funds because that's what happened with Kahlua. That's what I hated about being a working student, I worked 70hrs a week with no breaks, constantly stressed with too much to manage and a lot of pressure and never having the money to take care of my horse the way I wanted to. Barely had the money to cover gas costs :lol: That is something I genuinely regret. I also think mentally he couldn't cope with the pressure of being a full time dressage horse and needed to be an event horse. He could cope with dressage as long as he got to jump or trail ride or something but he's passed now.

And it is really true when you're their mama and know them very well, you pickup on the tiniest changes before other people do. But thank you. I hope he is resilient and whatever this is-is treatable and temporary. 

He's also fun because we've addressed so many issues training him that I've never had come up with other horses. Because he wants to suck back in his neck so much, inconsistency in contact and teaching him about that. And his physical awkwardness lol and organizing it because he's built in the neck to hollow and suck back with a stiff back and on the forehand and what we're teaching him to do is contrary to his conformation. I knew that buying him and was okay with it because for the money I had he was way nicer than I could afford or have gotten for the same price.

But this is the Dante I think of when I think of him. Just full of spirit, enthusiasm and life. A little unpredictable and made me nervous sometimes but he was happy, playful and bright. It's kinda funny because at the barn everyone says the only person Dante likes/loves is me but he likes some people.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> I'd be curious to know
> 
> I hope you didn't take my post as implying you should push past it :lol: I would never ask a horse that clearly can't do something to push past it. Especially when you know the horse like you know Dante and I know Izzie. Regression, in my opinion, is better than totally destroying their spirit and willingness to work with you by making them do something they physically cannot do.
> 
> I totally understand what you are saying. I HATE dull horses with a passion. They just aren't my kind of ride. I want a forward mount who you need to ask to bring back, not constantly rile up. I don't mind a horse that spooks at stuff, in the beginning. But the more experience/show miles they get, the more I expect them to handle. Izzie is at a point where we show next to ferris wheels at our local fair. I tell her if she can work past that, a judges box is nothing :lol: but the sensitive ones definitely get ramped up for showing, and really bring out a new level of flare at a show.
> 
> And please don't get ahead of yourself looking at other horses yet. I know back up plans are a great idea, but I refuse to believe this is the end of Dante's run. I just don't want to believe it (blame my optimism :lol Both mares sound great, but I would really work on figuring out Dante right now. I know you are, because he's your baby, but I just don't want too much negative thinking on it. Negativity begets negativity is what my mom always says. When you think negative thoughts about something, something negative will happen.


I'll let you know when I know. Pam has her day off today, so I'm leaving her alone :lol:

Oh no I didn't think you meant that, I was just explaining why I dont/didn't because like you I value compliance and trust over getting the most out of him or performance. There is time/place to put on pressure or put on the expectation but not if they're saying I can't. And definitely when you know a horse or understand what they're communicating, you can feel whether they're saying I can't, I won't, I dont want to or I'm not well but I'm trying. But I agree regression is better than pressuring and ruining a good horse for the sake of ego.

Exactly I'm the same way. As long they are sensible/reasonable, I've ridden a few crazies and I'm not into that. I think with Izzy and Dante no matter how touchy they can be, I think there is always a reason and they don't just zone out and lose their minds. That's genuinely scary and managing those situations arent fun and people look and go oh what I nice horse you have but they have no idea how much it takes to keep that horse looking relaxed, pleasant and not blowing up. But exactly there is just more managable enthusiasm and I can say I feel a great sense of pride and accomplishment when Dante is super nervous/exciteable/anxious and instead of blowing up, he listens and I'm half halting and keeping back the ticking time bomb from exploding but when I ask it's there. He's not always like that but he can be and when he's like that he's my favorite horse in the world to ride. I don't get any credit and no one appreciates my riding on Dante :lol: but that's okay I know how much it takes or on the horse's like Ivan or Kahlua or Sporty.

Oh no I wasn't seriously looking at other horses, I was just giving myself an idea of what is out there in case worse comes to worse. But your mom is probably right about negativity begets negativity. I've been in a pretty negative place in general. I try to be pretty neutral, I'm basically a realist/cynic for the most part :lol: not that's it's funny. It's not a "good" way to be but it keeps you from floating to high and expecting too much from life which I try very hard not to do or to really believe things will work out because for me when I really believe things are going well and things will work out is exactly when things blows up in my face. So in general I try not to get ahead of myself or believe too strongly. Passion often goes punished. And I'm really very sensitive to things of this nature so I try very hard to contain myself/be stoic because to show vulnerability in life shows weakness and people lose respect for you.


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## whisperbaby22

In the grand scheme of the universe, one horse not feeling well is not that significant. But boy can it color your own personal universe. It is like a constant weight on your brain, magnifying everything else that may be going wrong.


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## whisperbaby22

Not to take over your journal, but here is Chief Crazy Horse. He is a few spot, but you have to be a little closer to see that he is full on leopard, and ancient and noble strain.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Whisperbaby22- he's lovely. It's hard for me to see his spots but he's a lovely horse, very unique/distinct. He's one you definitely notice!

For the most part yes. I think most of the things that happen to us in the big scheme of things don't matter that much but they do make an impact. One of my favorite quotes is "Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." And I think it's true. Every emotion, feeling, thought we have no matter how insignificant or short lived they may be influence and affect our way of thinking. Our major flaws, habits, thoughts, things we don't like in ourselves starts in our minds and what we tell ourselves, how we allow ourselves to think about ourselves and others and how we internalize life experience. None of us are perfect but it's important to be mindful. And it is funny how things that seem so small in the grand scheme of things can have such an impact on our lives and change the way we see things. 
_____________________________________

Dante's right shoulder was a lot more swollen then his left and he has a tiny swelling on his right hind but he was lame on his right hind. Not leg lame but something is going on in the muscle and/or stifle or hip. I lunged him, he seemed fine, the right hind/hip dipped very slightly more than normal but it was very subtle, I thought maybe he's stiff from having a day off. Lunged a little more and he looked better so I got on, wasn't on for very long did some work left, switched direction didn't feel off. Cantered both ways. left he started bracing more in his lower neck muscle (he usually doesn't brace in his neck, this is recent last few rides) I was like this isn't right, so I changed direction and he was dipping more on the right side so I halted picked up trot again and I was like definitely not right and asked him to halt and got off. On the ground I asked him to trot, so I could see what was going on and was like nope we're done. Whatever is going on got worse from work and I won't be working him until we work out what's wrong. I get why my vet said to keep him work, especially if it's a muscle thing and he gets stiff if not worked regularly, it might help but he definitely got worse. I just looked at Dante and was distraught. I didn't cry but I was like I shouldn't have ridden at all and his shoulder was quite swollen and I was like dear God what is wrong with you? I've never seen anything like this before but I've decided to just have the specialist vet in Kentucky take his case and look at him. I don't want to play around. 

My friend whose a saddle fitter and studied a lot of equine anatomy/biomechanics and followed chiropractors, massage therapists, etc thinks it's muscular too. She was like I'm not a vet but I agree it's probably muscular, autoimmune or genetic but who knows. I'm not holding on as that is a fact but we think it's something autoimmune or genetic or possibly viral or bacterial, obviously we don't know and won't know until we test and get a vet looking at him and I talked to her and she said just work with the vet in Kentucky on this. This is something that needs a specialist to look at, this isn't a typical everyday thing or sporthorse injury. This is odd. His temperature is perfectly normal 99.7. He's also on a multivitamin and also a joint supplement. I don't think we'll know anything until we test. I'm really-really hoping and praying that he'll recover from whatever this is and it's something treatable or manageable and not un-affordable to manage.

And then my knee is pretty bad, I can't straighten it without sharp pain or put too much weight on it. I've almost fallen down the stairs a few times the last few days. It's pretty painful. I joked today well my body is falling apart, Dante's falling apart. I guess we'll just be cripples together. Crippled before our time.

The swelling didn't show on camera, it's slight but it's there so I took a picture showing where it is



left normal shoulder/minimally swollen


right shoulder. My friend saw it and agreed, definitely fluid filled but the swelling went down quickly. I know pictures don't show it well but it was pretty swollen which of course being a stressed out mama made me worry.




Then to be happy. This freestyle is pretty happy from Carl Hester and Nip Tuck. Just amazing.


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## whisperbaby22

Have you put him on the long lines and walked behind him to see what you can see. You will notice things that even an expert may miss because he is your horse.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I haven't done that. Dante does long rein but I usually don't, so I havent tried that. I might to have a look or ask someone to walk him down the aisle and I watch him walk. He's always dipped a little more on the right then the left and his shoulder are asymetrical by nature.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> I'll let you know when I know. Pam has her day off today, so I'm leaving her alone :lol:
> 
> Oh no I didn't think you meant that, I was just explaining why I dont/didn't because like you I value compliance and trust over getting the most out of him or performance. There is time/place to put on pressure or put on the expectation but not if they're saying I can't. And definitely when you know a horse or understand what they're communicating, you can feel whether they're saying I can't, I won't, I dont want to or I'm not well but I'm trying. But I agree regression is better than pressuring and ruining a good horse for the sake of ego.
> 
> Exactly I'm the same way. As long they are sensible/reasonable, I've ridden a few crazies and I'm not into that. I think with Izzy and Dante no matter how touchy they can be, I think there is always a reason and they don't just zone out and lose their minds. That's genuinely scary and managing those situations arent fun and people look and go oh what I nice horse you have but they have no idea how much it takes to keep that horse looking relaxed, pleasant and not blowing up. But exactly there is just more managable enthusiasm and I can say I feel a great sense of pride and accomplishment when Dante is super nervous/exciteable/anxious and instead of blowing up, he listens and I'm half halting and keeping back the ticking time bomb from exploding but when I ask it's there. He's not always like that but he can be and when he's like that he's my favorite horse in the world to ride. I don't get any credit and no one appreciates my riding on Dante :lol: but that's okay I know how much it takes or on the horse's like Ivan or Kahlua or Sporty.
> 
> Oh no I wasn't seriously looking at other horses, I was just giving myself an idea of what is out there in case worse comes to worse. But your mom is probably right about negativity begets negativity. I've been in a pretty negative place in general. I try to be pretty neutral, I'm basically a realist/cynic for the most part :lol: not that's it's funny. It's not a "good" way to be but it keeps you from floating to high and expecting too much from life which I try very hard not to do or to really believe things will work out because for me when I really believe things are going well and things will work out is exactly when things blows up in my face. So in general I try not to get ahead of myself or believe too strongly. Passion often goes punished. And I'm really very sensitive to things of this nature so I try very hard to contain myself/be stoic because to show vulnerability in life shows weakness and people lose respect for you.


Definitely a good call to leave her alone :lol: I'm just curious lol

And exactly. There is a time and place for pressure. That time and place is not when they are saying "I can't" or "something hurts." Only we know our horses like we do. We are their advocates to keep them from being worked when something is off. And the last thing we want to do is crush their spirits and their willingness to work how they need to.

Yeah, I don't care for the straight up crazy ones. Izzie would just spook because it was all new or just vastly different than what she was used to. But no, they don't just zone out and lose their minds. Those aren't fun to ride. Thankfully with Izzie she relaxes when I relax. Though, she does get pretty game to hit the ring, which can be tough to work through. Her sensitivity ramps up when we hit the ring, which can make for interesting rides :lol: and I 100% understand that feeling of holding back the ticking time bomb. We've been to more shows than I can count where I have felt that. Blair said the good ones feel that way. You have more behind you than a horse who doesn't hit the ring like that. The catch is, if you ask something wrong or too rough, you detonate some of it :lol: and I give you credit! He doesn't sound easy to ride, and you make him look great! I can see how he'd be your favorite to ride when he's totally on!

Whew, good :lol: I don't want to give up on Dante yet. I don't know what it's like to be in a constant space of negativity, so unfortunately I can't help there :sad: I wish I could. I've always felt my mom was right with that, so I try to not be so negative about things. Some things are hard, but others I'm improving on. I will say I wouldn't lose respect for you. Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I'd be an emotional wreck. I can't stand not knowing what is wrong with my baby.

And I'm sorry to hear the update :sad: I really hope the vet down here can help you. I know we have a lot of very good specialists here, so hopefully they've seen something like this before. And I think I'd get a genetic testing done. You can get it done through Animal Genetics a lot cheaper than through UC Davis (for the 5 panel for QH's and for the panel for Arabs if you desired.)


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## frlsgirl

Hmmm...this is all so very strange; if he was a person I'd be calling Dr. House - I loved that show; I assume the vet from Kentucky is the equine version of Dr. House? I sure love a good medical mystery especially if it has a happy ending but don't like hearing you or Dante suffer through it 

Has there be a change in his supplements? Maybe a different brand or manufacturer? 
Are there any sick horses at your barn that Dante could have come in contact with?
Has there been a change in arena footing? Ana was fine when the footing was soft but when they watered it and it hardened she started showing lameness.
Have you recently washed saddle pads or gotten a new saddle pad or changed detergents that you use to wash the saddle pads with?
Did you recently start using fly spray? Maybe a different brand?
Does he get to eat fresh green grass in his turnout? Does it have clover in it?
Have you oiled the new saddle? New saddles can be hard as a rock and even if they fit theoretically can be uncomfortable during the breaking in phase.
Have you tried riding him with a Back on Track saddle pad?

Running out of ideas; can't wait to hear what Equine Dr. House says.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- Actually I found out Pam is currently in Kentucky :lol: I know she's talked to the vet there about Dante's case. 

Exactly! Who wants to be slapped down while they're giving their best? Quickest way to destroy a willing and motivated spirit.

Precisely. It's a whole nother level of horse under you and it's awesome when they're like that because you get that instant feed back of when you make a mistake and it makes you that much more tactful and careful in your approach, so you ride that much better and are at your best because it makes you instantly more mindful and aware. The best I think are like that. It's awesome. I love it I just remember I had Dante on a loose rein and exhaled and we were flying side ways (he was on a loose rein). And no crazy, you just cant' reason with. I don't enjoy riding crazy and unpredictable/unreasonable. I don't like riding where there is nothing wrong and suddenly you have to go into two point because they've had a total mental blow up and you gotta wait for them to calm down or you'll lose steering or get bucked off and bolted harder with.

He's really not. He's challenging to ride minus the quirks. I don't know how to describe what riding him is like but to train/ride him all the time you have to know what you're doing. It's different depending on his mood and now he's not himself but you use a ton of core, seat, and leg to half halt but basically it's a ton of half halts to organize. If you just carry a contact and say go into it, there isn't really a direct line (he will but I don't know how to describe it) but if you can't organize the rest of his body to keep him connected and then half halt his balance back to ask him to sit and carry behind it's a bit of a mess. He's naturally a very unimpressive mover like a qh I pulled out of someone's backyard but he has a high ability to sit. During a storm I saw him piaffe in the cross ties and if he gets there it's really nice, same with his passage when I've seen him excited while walking lots of elevation and bound. But I've been talked to about him he'll be very unimpressive at the lower levels but at the upper levels that's where he's going to come through because the ability for quality collection is there, it's just something you don't start with, so with him you're always asking for collection but always in a forward way but you're always pulling him up into your seat and getting the sit, back engagement, throughness. And Pam said he'd take longer to develop because he's not built for it and getting him that strong to collect at an equal playing field takes more time. I don't know how to describe it, other than difficult to ride correctly/well but you can't let him get away with things or he takes over the ride and does what he wants but you cant be too firm/aggressive or he just acts out. I don't know how to describe it. Just have to sit and work it out :lol: but thank you. I appreciate it :lol: Pam, Mari, and Angel appreciate how I've done with him. We just do our best and learn as much as possible.

No we're definitely not giving up on Dante but I'm being realistic about the situation. For the most part I'm upset but kinda numb too which I tend to be if something really upsets me because I'm used to having to be stoic, having to put my problems aside so I can make decisions and be in leadership roles. In that way I miss being a Marine very much because I had a distraction from whatever and had to put it all aside for others. Whether it was the girls I mentored or Marines I was helping. Because I've kinda shut down in a way, just really numb. I get emotional but then I go to a point of being numb *shrugs*
_____________________________

Tanja- lol I love House too! Pam said this vet has a good bed side manner but I said I don't care if he hates everything about me and it a total insufferable jerk as long as he can get me answers and can help my baby. I also don't mind a medical mystery, as long as it ends well. I'm praying it all works for the best and I've told some friends in private who are praying for him too.

I appreciate the effort and good suggestions  but we havent made any change that way. All the stuff fly stuff I've used is the same as last year and no bumps/lumps like an allergic reaction. None of the other horses are having problems. And I've been riding him in the bareback pad the last few rides which I washed with dawn and he's been watched with that diluted, so I don't think it's that. I tried a new shampoo from smartpak but he showed symptoms before I used that. My detergents I use are all the same they have been.

And the new saddle probably wont be in for another month. The saddle we were using is a good saddle, about a year or 2 old. The turnout he's in doesnt' have clover (he LOVES clever) last year he was just all clover drools. Supplements are through smartpak and they're the same as last year as far as I know. *shrugs* it'd be nice if it was something easy to isolate.


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## Tazzie

I'll be very interested to hear what he has to say! Would you bring him here, or would he go there? We have A LOT of VERY good vets in and around Lexington. Very blessed in that aspect.

No one does! I want a happy animal full of spirit, not one just going through the motions.

Yeah, no. I want a reason for a reaction. We just say Izzie puts her game face on :lol: it's how I feel when we hit the ring. Like she is right there, and my aids need to be even quieter because that will cause some crankiness. They sure are fun to ride like that!

Yeah, you don't give yourself enough credit when riding him. I think you've done well with him! And I know some horses just don't fair well at the lower levels, but hit their groove higher up. I know some career lower level horses that rock the lower levels but fail any higher than saying Training or First.

I know. I just, hate seeing you preparing for the worst :sad: I really want to believe this isn't the end. He's just so young and has too much potential. I understand being stoic and such. I just don't want to see it end yet.


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## Tihannah

So sorry to hear the latest on Dante, Cassie. He seems to be fastly becoming an anomaly in medical mysteries. And I think its okay for you to feel overwhelmed and defeated sometimes. You shouldn't have to always think well, someone else has it worse. Sometimes we need to release all of the pressures and built up disappointments. I think we are allowed that as long as we don't let it consume us and simply give up. You've been through a lot with Dante already. I think you both deserve a break from the pain and I'm really pulling for you and hoping someone can find a solution for you.


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## Rainaisabelle

I'm also rooting for you


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you for the support. I really appreciate it. I was pretty upset when I saw him muscles were spasming today. I honestly havent seen that before without there being an irritant or reason. I mean maybe that narrows things down and I know he can't be in too much pain since he was pretty playful and still was plenty motivated to eat. But still not "encouraging" to see. And the Kentucky vet will not be able to come out here, so if Angel ends up bringing her mare to Kentucky and we don't know what Dante has then we'll be taking him.

I'm concerned if it could potentially be HyPP or PSSM. I know both are manageable but we don't know what his dam is, we THINK she's a quarter horse but we don't know for sure. She's a perlino and was not register able at the time she was born. So I don't know if she has Impressive lines or if Dante could have it with one gene and as far as I know his mom doesn't have HyPP (I know the owner), so I don't know that that could be it? His full brother is older and as far as I know there is nothing wrong with him. I've spoken with his owner before, I guess he's gone to world and placed in the top 10 for western pleasure. They look similar but very different movers. 

He whinnied at me twice when he saw me. I went into the tack room to grab his halter and I could hear him, he has a very distinctive whinny. He has the arab whinny. I also gave him a massage which he loved, he looked so happy. He was also playful and cheeky which made me happy  he at least seemed happy.

There were no flies on him. I've never seen this before but he had a full appetite. Ate his dinner and hand grazed.











I'm wondering if we should just put him on the diet and see if it helps. We have the special grain and fat supplement. I'm not sure I want to have a muscle biopsy if it means lengthy stall rest. He's dangerous on stall rest. So I want to avoid it at all costs. 
______________________________________

Katie- Thank you. Pam called him Dr Peterson and I'm pretty sure he's in Lexington. And yes you are! Great vets are out there!

Absolutely! I really think that's what makes dressage beautiful, it's the harmony of unifying a spirited animal and instilling discipline in a way that doesnt result in a broken spirit but a willing partner.

That's wonderful! Definitely great when they know where they are and know how to perform. Definitely good when they're game and on the money! I know a few like that. Bailey is like that and we'll see with Dante. He seemed to get his anxiety in check when we got in the ring but he didnt step up, just didn't have a melt down but we'll see. It was his first show.

I just look at it as we're doing our best and learning and improving as we go. And right now may be the rough patches but down the road it'll be better. It's the same with Angel. We used to joke about being baby riders who've always developed horses and turned horses out but never really got to pursue moving them up the levels for various reasons. She's in the same boat with her mare she was doing amazing with. Her mare has kissing spine and she's gone through treatment but unsuccessful so far and Dante who knows. It's really sad. She also had a saddle issue before finding out her mare had kissing spine. Last time I saw her we just laughed like how else would it go for us? No one handed us a schoolmaster to campaign, we gotta make ours and then when things go south we think the same way, why bother dreaming when everytime you try you get slapped with something else. But same here. I know a phenomenal trakehner gelding who would kick butt at 2nd level but past that he just can't sit enough to be successful. It makes a more level playing field for those of us who can't afford the spectacular movers. It's odd to me because low level dressage rewards different characteristics over upper level dressage, not always but in some ways. 

It's alright. I appreciate the concern though! I don't like being in this state either but I want to be in the best position to make good decisions for Dante. I think he's going to be okay if it's PSSM or HyPP or something like that. He was playful and cheeky today, he picked up the pitch fork and dropped it to knock over things while I left him ground tied outside the arena to grab a hoof pick and pick his feet. Took the phone off the hook and I dont remember what else. Literally hoof pick was right by the cross ties directly across from the arena. I didn't ride, just stuck him on the lunge line to see how he was. That gives me hope, at least seeing that he's happy and up to no good and he whinnied which is more like a horse scream at me when he saw me. He whinnied twice, I felt very loved and that gave me hope. He seemed really happy to see me. I hope that means we'll make it through this because the idea of parting from him is too painful to contemplate. 
__________________________

Tina- thank you. I don't know why it's been this way. I really thought buying him a qh x arab cross that grew up on a farm with cows. I thought he was going to be hardy and low maintenance :lol: but I hope after we solve this mystery it will be the end for a while. They say God doesn't give us more than we can handle but sometimes I wonder why some of us have to go through more than others. And why for some life flows smoothly and others have more bumps in the road than most. And why it works out that way.

But I agree it's alright to feel overwhelmed and defeated sometimes as long as we don't settle there and spend our whole lives defeating and sabotaging ourselves. I totally agree. I think we all need to handle the situations we face in our way and I totally agree. We need to be able to process our built up disappointments because they are apart of life but it really hurts too. Especially if you're a dreamer and want to do things, work really hard, and try to do all the "right" things and to set yourself up to go down the right path but reality always has a way of reminding you reality, no matter how well you prepare yourself has a way of setting in.
___________________________

Rainaisabelle- thank you. I'm hoping this all resolves itself soon and works out for the best but thank you


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## frlsgirl

Hmmm he sure is twitching like it's flies but there aren't any...hmmm, could he have some microscopic mite infection?


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## Tazzie

I'd see what @Wallaby thinks about the spasms, since she's going through something similar. Probably wouldn't hurt to change his diet to see though.

I've asked Blair if she knew that one since his name doesn't ring a bell. There are a lot of awesome vets here though. Least it should be a fairly easy trip if you guys do make it out this way.

Which is why I hate when people say it's boring :lol: they just don't appreciate all the work that goes into creating that partnership.

I'm sure he will be! Izzie was overwhelmed a bit at her first few shows, but she's settled into it well. She now launches herself on the trailer to go places :lol: like, you need to stand off to the side because she leaps in.

That is tough to constantly be knocked down like that. Hard to keep your head up and keep going. I hope both horses turn out ok, but I have zero experience with kissing spine and if there is a treatment/cure for it. For Dante, I hope it's something fairly easy to fix. I don't want to think about you parting with him either. I'll understand if it comes to that, but right now I'm refusing to give up hope :lol:

I can't imagine you like being in that state, and I understand why you'd be in it. I just hope you get some good news soon!! And I'm VERY glad to hear he was so cheeky yesterday! Big bonus!


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## whisperbaby22

I really think that feed can make a big difference. I'm older, and my experience with horses is different from many here, but without going into a long story, I am right now changing my feed a bit hoping to deal with a problem. Consider that the feed we give our horses is so different from just going out and getting it from the local farmer. I can buy good feed from Idaho, and feed so crappy it will slow down even my horse a bit, at my local store. It's the cheapest and easiest treatment you can try right now.


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## evilamc

What is his current diet? I agree with Katie about sharing notes with Wallaby some! I know shes going to try soy free diet next. I told her about the horsetech high point supplement I use, good stuff, soy free too.

Must be so hard not getting answers  My QH had chronic lyme and it took us months to figure out taht was the cause for a lot of his issues. He was cray cray, like riding a ticking time bomb. Would have alternating limb lameness...flinched a lot, especially at the withers. I tried treating the flare ups multiple times, it always seemed like the wither twitching was a tell tale sign that it was flaring up again.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I don't think it's a microscopic mite, his hind end muscles are also really tight and his body is just sore. Then his shoulder muscles and wither muscles have changed, I think from the spasms. I also bathe him once a week and scrub pretty well without losing shine. Nothing weird going on with his coat, no hair loss, flakes or itching. But thank you for the suggestion.
__________________________

Katie- Definitely I'll have to ask her and see what she thinks because these neuromuscular disorders (if that's it) are tricky things and she knows a LOT more than I do and might have more insight. But I asked Pam about changing his diet to the PSSM feed but I haven't heard anything back from her yet. I asked but no response. I really don't want to do the biopsy if the feeding program helps. They take a decent amount and Dante is TERRIBLE on stall rest, like when he kicked me I'm SO lucky I didnt fracture something and I don't want anyone to be in danger because when he is naughty it happens FAST and out of the blue.

I think so, if we do head out there. I'm just limited because I don't have a truck or trailer and I don't have a crazy amount of money to take a horse down and THEN do all the diagnostic work. And there are. I bet it's from all the money in the race industry and all the opportunities the vets have to see some cool stuff with owners willing to spend what it takes if it's a great horse for research or opportunities to work with different sports injuries. My theory at least.

lol I'm with you there. Dressage is ANYTHING but boring and if someone thinks it is, I just say they're not doing it right and think they probably don't understand enough to understand/appreciate what makes it so incredible. It's about understanding to communicate "horse" and build a partnership.

I hope so, Dante seemed really happy to show and go somewhere new. He was pretty relaxed and interested in everything. He's very inquisitive by nature. But I'm glad Izzy enjoys to board the show wagon :lol: always a good thing when they enjoy it!

I just look at it as God/the universe loves irony and wherever there is an opportunity, fate can't help itself but to bring it on. And some of us it just attacks every aspect of our lives where we try, work hard and do our best to build and get knocked down as we think we're getting somewhere *shrugs* I don't know why it works that way, that's just how life's been for me and some peopel I know, then others get these amazing opportunities and put is these impossible situations where everything just works out for them just from them being at the right place, at the right time. They're not more skilled, qualified, havent put in as much work and maybe aren't as competent but they were at the right place at the right time and me or Angel was not. But I hope the cards we're dealt will eventually come in our favor, rather than just getting dealt the sh!tty cards all the time. We're both blessed in many aspects but it's the "so close, yet so far" thing where it's just in front of your face and snatched out before you really get anywhere. Both have dreams and aspirations that we've fought for but it's like the achievement portion is barred off. *shrugs* it is what it is, can't help how life plays out. 

I remember she and I had a conversation about some people we know and we were like they don't know what it's like to be on this side of the fence where things just don't magically work out and hit the fan and we gotta be left to pick up the pieces and keep moving forward and trying. We're happy for the incredible opportunities they have but they don't get what it's like to keep watching people strive forward, while we keep dealing with set backs over and over and over again. We don't take the big risks because we know it wont work out for us. But maybe the tables will turn for both of us someday. I hope it does. I have to believe all the works we've put forward, all the money we've spent and all the things we've done isn't for nothing.

Like my body is falling apart, I'm in a knee brace atm because it's pretty bad and I'll probably need surgery at some point but it's stupid. I've pushed my body to the limit trying to keep up with the boys and I'm in my mid twenties with a body that's falling apart. Not just the knee but will I be walking when I'm 40 without a cane? How many surgeries am I going to need between my back, knees, feet and hips? Or having a family which I really want but honestly I just don't see that working out. The idea of even dating is too much for me. I don't have it in me to try again. I know I couldn't handle going through what I have again, if it just doesn't work out that's one thing but having your head messed with like that over and over and over again and knowing how long and to what extent a person can hurt you physically/emotionally does a number to you. There's a lot of pain and emotional baggage and with aspergers I don't process like a normal person, so it's just not even worth it. I don't even know how to be in a relationship or date anymore. I'd be arms crossed being a total smart @ss the whole time and truly I can be a bit Dr House-like and contradicting and sarcastic. 

Sorry for the rant but I hope we find a quick fix too. And I hope Angel's mare recovers well.

And no I don't like it. There are certain aspects about yourself you don't like but sometimes that way is better than the alternative or you don't know howt to be any different. But thank you! I hope we get some news and good answers too! I was happy to see him happy as well  for the most part I'm just emotionally drained and it'll get better just gotta tough it out.
______________

Whisperbaby22- I asked my trainer/BO to change his feed. I haven't heard back from her about that but I entirely agree feed can make a huge difference. Especially if it's a metabolic, neuromuscular issue. I hope everything works out well for your guy! Feed can make a huge difference! And feeding a good quality feed!
____________

Evilamc- we currently feed timothy or brome hay with Grow N Win from buckeye and he was on beet pulp but he's getting chubby from the grass, so I'm buying a grazing muzzle. I believe the grass planted is fescue because Missouri summers can be rough and I guess that's what can survive.

GRO 'N WIN Ration Balancer

I'll be asking Wallaby about the spasms, especially because she has SO much more experience and knowledge about this sort of thing than I do and has been going through the motions for a while. 

I think everyone gets upset when they dont have any answers for what they're seeing and symptoms seem to be getting worse and not better. But I'm glad they found what he was lyme disease and were able to treat him effectively for it and you know what to look out for in him, so you can start treatment asap before it progresses! Really sad when you see such unusual changes in them :-(


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## frlsgirl

Ok, one last time, I'm going to put my Dr House hat on and then I'll leave it alone:

Magnesium deficiency or mal-absorption? Can cause muscle spasms, twitching, muscle loss, poor coordination, behavioral problems.

I'm so sorry you are going through all this; if it makes you feel any better I'm falling apart right along with you; it seems like whenever I'm laid up, Ana is laid up as well. So I try to put a positive spin on it; because I don't know what else to do; maybe there is a tiny positive light in all of this for you? Maybe you will learn something really valuable and years later you will look back on this and will say "remember that time when we thought something was really wrong with Dante and it turned out to be X and now he's totally fine."

I had to drive to the bank on my lunch break to deposit all my birthday money because it's going straight towards paying vet bills; but at least I can say I have a horse; how many people are out there who want one but can't afford to purchase one or care for one? I'm not trying to make you feel bad for venting; venting is good; just trying to help you see some sort of light somewhere.


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## Wallaby

All of this is important to me and I'll try to catch up on this whole thing tonight!
I'm at work right now so I can't be thorough right now. I'm sorry you're having a hard time!

As an aside, I think these muscle issues are especially hard for those of us with ADHD. I know for myself, I'm so intuitive to Fabio's needs and my thoughts go a mile a minute about what could be wrong...and especially when something is clearly wrong, it's incredibly hard to "talk yourself down" when your fears are being confirmed.
Ugh.
Haha
Anyway, I care! <3


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## DanteDressageNerd

His supplements. The senior is at .75 dose because it's for maintenance and he's not a senior. I use it because the ingredients are superior to the other supplements they offer and more cost effective. And the other is a multi-vitamin.

https://www.smartpakequine.com/ps/megacell-2419
https://www.smartpakequine.com/ps/smartflex-senior-herbfree-pellets-8243

Tanja- Thank you for the suggestion. I don't think it's a vitamin deficiency/over but it could be. He's pretty coordinated and aware, he doesn't seem slow or unable to react. he was reluctant to walk forward when I hand walked him though and that was odd but turns on the forehand leg yield, shoulder in from the ground, changes of direction were all very easy for him.

I understand. It sucks when you're out and they're out. It's hard because we do our best but it's extremely draining. But I hope you're right and all this turns for the best and becomes something we can make light of in the future, just now it's hard when you don't know. I hope it all works out well for you and Ana and you both can stay healthy and thrive together! 

No I appreciate light being shed or a different perspective. I think you need to do both, there's a time to be in the shadows and process what's going on and a time to step into the light and recognize what you have and what you're fortunate for. You need both, I think. I definitely don't take what I do have for granted. I know I'm very fortunate to have what I do. And very fortunate to have a good family (I pay for everything myself) but they help me out with medical and health stuff and I'm SO thankful for that. The VA is available too because my conditions are documented and service related. 
______

Wallaby- No worries. I understand being busy/working that totally makes sense. But thank you  I'll try to condense it so you don't have to go through pages and pages.

But I agree with the sensitivity thing. I don't know if it's my aspergers (females tend to be very sensitive towards animals) or I do some massage and can feel the changes. But definitely the oh dear God what's going on and the anxious feelings that go with that. I understand when you're very sensitive towards an animal and pick up on when something is wrong. Animals sensitivity is a good thing. I know you've been through a lot with Fabio and trying to work out what works well for him. I hope it's going well.

Symptoms list

Muscle fatigue/weakness when in work, isn't as forward when asked to carry himself. Bracing underside of left neck, right hind is very tight, some swelling at the top of his hip. Swelling more so on the right shoulder. His whole body is sore, hind end muscles and shoulder muscles are very tight. Some shoulder swelling, more to the right then left. Right hind is tight and causing him to be a little irregular on the right hind. 

Resists left bend like he's protecting himself, not being naughty or resisting. Like he's protecting something and he can't do it. Can't sit behind. Just having a hard time with muscle recovery. Hind muscles are super tense, same with shoulders. He's not been over worked. Last week or so has been very light.

He's stiff when not worked or lunged. I'm going to lunge him today and see if he's worse or better. He also gets stiff when its too cold and his muscles get tight/tense.

When I rode him last he started on the lunge line a little off but got better then I rode him both directions, was fine then I asked him to trot to the right and was off so I got off.

He was pretty crabby and he seems irritated with the muscle spasms but he doesn't seem to be in pain. He's still eating/drinking water.

No symptoms like head shaking or lack of body coordinated. He's very aware and coordinated. He was in good spirits yesterday.

Pictures and videos. He












left shoulder more normal



How he stood the other day after a lesson or a ride? I don't remember but it was a relatively light workout.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- Definitely I'll have to ask her and see what she thinks because these neuromuscular disorders (if that's it) are tricky things and she knows a LOT more than I do and might have more insight. But I asked Pam about changing his diet to the PSSM feed but I haven't heard anything back from her yet. I asked but no response. I really don't want to do the biopsy if the feeding program helps. They take a decent amount and Dante is TERRIBLE on stall rest, like when he kicked me I'm SO lucky I didnt fracture something and I don't want anyone to be in danger because when he is naughty it happens FAST and out of the blue.
> 
> I think so, if we do head out there. I'm just limited because I don't have a truck or trailer and I don't have a crazy amount of money to take a horse down and THEN do all the diagnostic work. And there are. I bet it's from all the money in the race industry and all the opportunities the vets have to see some cool stuff with owners willing to spend what it takes if it's a great horse for research or opportunities to work with different sports injuries. My theory at least.
> 
> lol I'm with you there. Dressage is ANYTHING but boring and if someone thinks it is, I just say they're not doing it right and think they probably don't understand enough to understand/appreciate what makes it so incredible. It's about understanding to communicate "horse" and build a partnership.
> 
> I hope so, Dante seemed really happy to show and go somewhere new. He was pretty relaxed and interested in everything. He's very inquisitive by nature. But I'm glad Izzy enjoys to board the show wagon :lol: always a good thing when they enjoy it!
> 
> I just look at it as God/the universe loves irony and wherever there is an opportunity, fate can't help itself but to bring it on. And some of us it just attacks every aspect of our lives where we try, work hard and do our best to build and get knocked down as we think we're getting somewhere *shrugs* I don't know why it works that way, that's just how life's been for me and some peopel I know, then others get these amazing opportunities and put is these impossible situations where everything just works out for them just from them being at the right place, at the right time. They're not more skilled, qualified, havent put in as much work and maybe aren't as competent but they were at the right place at the right time and me or Angel was not. But I hope the cards we're dealt will eventually come in our favor, rather than just getting dealt the sh!tty cards all the time. We're both blessed in many aspects but it's the "so close, yet so far" thing where it's just in front of your face and snatched out before you really get anywhere. Both have dreams and aspirations that we've fought for but it's like the achievement portion is barred off. *shrugs* it is what it is, can't help how life plays out.
> 
> I remember she and I had a conversation about some people we know and we were like they don't know what it's like to be on this side of the fence where things just don't magically work out and hit the fan and we gotta be left to pick up the pieces and keep moving forward and trying. We're happy for the incredible opportunities they have but they don't get what it's like to keep watching people strive forward, while we keep dealing with set backs over and over and over again. We don't take the big risks because we know it wont work out for us. But maybe the tables will turn for both of us someday. I hope it does. I have to believe all the works we've put forward, all the money we've spent and all the things we've done isn't for nothing.
> 
> Like my body is falling apart, I'm in a knee brace atm because it's pretty bad and I'll probably need surgery at some point but it's stupid. I've pushed my body to the limit trying to keep up with the boys and I'm in my mid twenties with a body that's falling apart. Not just the knee but will I be walking when I'm 40 without a cane? How many surgeries am I going to need between my back, knees, feet and hips? Or having a family which I really want but honestly I just don't see that working out. The idea of even dating is too much for me. I don't have it in me to try again. I know I couldn't handle going through what I have again, if it just doesn't work out that's one thing but having your head messed with like that over and over and over again and knowing how long and to what extent a person can hurt you physically/emotionally does a number to you. There's a lot of pain and emotional baggage and with aspergers I don't process like a normal person, so it's just not even worth it. I don't even know how to be in a relationship or date anymore. I'd be arms crossed being a total smart @ss the whole time and truly I can be a bit Dr House-like and contradicting and sarcastic.
> 
> Sorry for the rant but I hope we find a quick fix too. And I hope Angel's mare recovers well.
> 
> And no I don't like it. There are certain aspects about yourself you don't like but sometimes that way is better than the alternative or you don't know howt to be any different. But thank you! I hope we get some news and good answers too! I was happy to see him happy as well  for the most part I'm just emotionally drained and it'll get better just gotta tough it out.


I sure hope she gets back to you! I know Wallaby used the ALCAR (I think that's what it was called?) and it worked almost immediately if it was something muscle related. Could be worth a try? I just know I've followed her thread with interest since I always like know the different things that can go wrong (genetic or otherwise) and store it for future reference. I sure hope it doesn't come down to stall rest. Though, my gut would be turn out if muscles are stiff. Blanket if cold (since you said it's worse when he's cold) and let him move. But clearly I'm not a vet :lol:

It could be. I know we have a few of the best Equine Clinics in the country here, which helps. Kentucky is also the horse capital, so that helps :lol:

Yup! I know Nick doesn't always enjoy watching other riders, but he does like watching us go. He also sees all the building blocks we've laid to get to this point, which is nice. He's learning other subtle things, but he still doesn't have a lot of interest in watching others :lol:

I'm sure he'll come to love traveling, just like Izzie does! It makes going to shows WAY more fun when they get excited to hop into the trailer!

God sure does give us more than we think we can handle at times :/ I'm just hoping you'll catch a break. I know we're in the same boat where we get dumped on a lot. Never gets easier, but we push through. I know you'll get through this.

And those others that were in the right place at the right time who aren't as talented will end up hitting a wall. Can only go so far when you don't know what you're doing. Luck only gets you so far.

I know the feeling of falling apart. I'm not as bad off as you, but my elbow was destroyed, my hips will need to be replaced from all the failed leg up attempts, and my ankles roll very easily. I've had lower back problems, but I just need to work on my core strength more. Venting and ranting is fine. Lets you get it all out so you can move forward in a (hopefully) more positive manner. Dating sucks. I will admit that. I finally said to heck with trying to find someone randomly, and joined Match. Which is where I met Nick. Sure, I had to wade through the weirdos, but there are good guys on there. Just have to figure out how to pick up on it. I just wouldn't totally rule anything out yet since age wise, you are still young!

I do hope her mare recovers as well. Just crummy she has that :sad:

I totally understand how it's emotionally draining. I don't doubt it for one second how tough all of this. But you'll get through it. Though, this reminds me of a quote. I'm NOT saying you are fearful. But I still think it fits.

"Fear has two meanings:

Forget Everything And Run

or

Face Everything And Rise"

I see you facing this and rising. I KNOW you will.


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## Rainaisabelle

Such a supportive and inspirational bunch on here ! So happy to have met you all.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Update from last night and today.

Worked babies today, glad to sit on some babies. Kinda fun to gage how broke they are because it's been a while since anyone has sat on them. I told Pam I have to realize this baby is a little more broke than the other 2. You ride barely broke/starting babies way different than almost broke or broke ones. But they were really-really good. We were SUPER pleased with them. I will say I'm grateful to work with babies, I love riding babies. 

I lunged Dante yesterday, he's definitely sounder on the right hind if he works so I think the vet is right about keeping him in work and IF it is PSSM he needs to stay in motion. So I rode him today and he was really good. I felt really bad for him because he was literally giving me everything he had, he felt very true and correct but he was really limited in what he could do, so all we did was probably 15min walk-trot and I got off because he was telling me he couldn't do it. If feels like riding a horse who is sore and very fatigued but he gave me everything he had and I didn't push past what he could do. He needed to work some but not be pushed. I worked a little on walk pirouettes, so haunches in into a pirouette and that really helped him. He was so good. I just feel bad for him. He was very affectionate, I walked him around in my knee brace (which I am getting playfully harassed about).

Also saw someone I used to work with who I haven't seen in probably 5yrs and he was like omg you don't even look like the same person. I was like is that a good thing? And he was like yes, you look like one of the models in the horse magazine now. You look so much younger and I laughed. I used to be about 10-15lbs heavier.

We're working to change his diet. The grain he's on is low starch and supposedly PSSM friendly (we don't know that he has that but we're trying the diet), we're also taking him off of grass and adding fat to his grain, so he has some kind of energy source. 

I also talked to my chiropractor who is also Dante's chiropractor and showed him the videos and asked him if he had any ideas since he's seen so many different horses. He said he's seen the spasms like Dante has in horses who are maladjusted but Dane is fairly regularly seen and almost never anything really out. So he doesn't think that's it, he doesn't think it's lyme (I'm having his blood drawn, I don't think they did it Saturday) but still draw blood because you dont know. He thinks it's most likely neuromuscular but said the good news is it should be manageable. I also sent Dante's hair to get tested for the Quarter horse panel. 

Video from yesterday, I was trying to show he still does it when he walks.




____________________________

Katie- I just want to say thank you. You have no idea how grateful I am for you. And for the support of this forum. It's good to have! I really appreciate the quote and time you took 

I'd definitely be interested in trying ALCAR or something that might help Dante. I don't like seeing him so weak/fatigued. I was thinking all his symptoms really became apparent when the grass started coming in, so maybe there is a correlation. We're taking Dante off the grass until his grazing muzzle or fat mask comes in. We're making changes to his diet to hopefully help him *crosses fingers* I just don't want to do the biopsy. But no you're absolutely right motion is lotion and absolutely necessary IF it is PSSM. And I think she will. She's just got a lot on her plate.

That is certainly true. Kentucky is gorgeous. I was admiring it while driving through last year :lol: great horse country.

:lol: well that's okay if he only wants to watch you ride because you and Izzy matter to him and he cares to learn because he cares for you both. That's sweet  And yes it is much better when they enjoy a road trip too!!

He sure does. When it's rough, it's rough and when it's smooth it's smooth. On one hand it makes you pretty tough but on the other hand it's like I'd really appreciate if the ocean was a little smoother :lol: and sometimes you're so focused on the waves that you forget the only reason you've learned to ride them is because of how steep and wild those waves can be. If you're always riding smooth or small bumps, you can't handle the rough ones the way you can when you've ridden them before. Can't grow much without a challenge, though some of the challenges are a little excessive :lol: but I don't know if I'm meant to "catch a break" when push comes to shove, I'm pretty tough. And I think I'd be pretty nervous/suspicious/get excessively neurotic and nervous if the water was too smooth. Id' be anticipating the next wave all the time.

That is true. They do hit a wall when they realize the holes in their life vs the ones you skills you learn doing all the "boring" stuff. Developing babies, rehabbing multiple horses, riding multiple wackos, and a huge variety of challenging retraining projects and unique horses, including a saddleseat horse. I don't know that I have much talent, I have very good feel and I "stick" but talent not so much. Just a lot of hard work and hours and hours riding a large variety of horses with good instructors. But I entirely agree luck only takes you so far, then what do you have to fall back on to make up for the missing pieces of competence?

It sucks to be so young and falling apart doesn't it? My parents think it's hilarious I have so much more degenerative issues than they do. But it sucks when you have all these accumulated injuries and the residual pain. I hope your body works out well for you, it's no fun to be falling apart early. It's true. Who knows what the future holds but I have a hard time seeing something work for me. I'm a really-really tricky fit. I just REALLY hate dating, it isn't fun for me. I think if something were to work for me it'd have to develop naturally. I've tried dating sites before but it's not for me. There are a lot of things and I'm definitely bitter with deep seeded trust issues and I'm pretty upfront about things, if they run I don't need them. I'm fine alone. I don't have the patience and I expect the absolute worst most despicable behavior from an innocent face. I expect them to be lying to me and trying to fool me. I can't listen to being complimented by men, I hate it. It makes me feel like they're trying to dig their hooks in to gage their leverage on how far they can manipulate me and what they can do to me. There is some deep emotional damage and they'd really have to understand that and why I'm so distant and mistrusting and anything with me would be SUPER SUPER SLOW. And if they send mixed messages at all, I'll stop talking to them. I wont' chase or play games, if they value me they can prove it. If they're honest, they'll prove it. But I have issues and I'm more powerful/stronger than a lot of guys and they hate that. I'm not big 5'7 138lbs but I used to be able to throw the 180lb guys over my shoulder like a rag doll. I'm not that strong anymore but still strong. It's how I could ride those big, jerk off horses.

I sure hope she does too. She's an incredibly nice/talented mare and Angel's done so well with her.

Genuinely thank you for the quote. I enjoy it. I'm generally the face everything and rise type, I've never been a coward. I've never fled from responsibility. I've always stood my ground and stood up. Never been known to be a coward or had my character questioned. But it does wear you out after a while and grind you down so you're tough but there are parts of you that are lost forever. I guess it's a tradeoff. Ignorance is bliss is true.
_______________

Ranaisabelle- Yes there are are. There are a lot of fantastic members on this forum. The encouragement is overwhelming and well appreciated!


----------



## Wallaby

DanteDressageNerd said:


> His supplements. The senior is at .75 dose because it's for maintenance and he's not a senior. I use it because the ingredients are superior to the other supplements they offer and more cost effective. And the other is a multi-vitamin.
> 
> https://www.smartpakequine.com/ps/megacell-2419
> https://www.smartpakequine.com/ps/smartflex-senior-herbfree-pellets-8243
> 
> Tanja- Thank you for the suggestion. I don't think it's a vitamin deficiency/over but it could be. He's pretty coordinated and aware, he doesn't seem slow or unable to react. he was reluctant to walk forward when I hand walked him though and that was odd but turns on the forehand leg yield, shoulder in from the ground, changes of direction were all very easy for him.
> 
> I understand. It sucks when you're out and they're out. It's hard because we do our best but it's extremely draining. But I hope you're right and all this turns for the best and becomes something we can make light of in the future, just now it's hard when you don't know. I hope it all works out well for you and Ana and you both can stay healthy and thrive together!
> 
> No I appreciate light being shed or a different perspective. I think you need to do both, there's a time to be in the shadows and process what's going on and a time to step into the light and recognize what you have and what you're fortunate for. You need both, I think. I definitely don't take what I do have for granted. I know I'm very fortunate to have what I do. And very fortunate to have a good family (I pay for everything myself) but they help me out with medical and health stuff and I'm SO thankful for that. The VA is available too because my conditions are documented and service related.
> ______
> 
> Wallaby- No worries. I understand being busy/working that totally makes sense. But thank you  I'll try to condense it so you don't have to go through pages and pages.
> 
> But I agree with the sensitivity thing. I don't know if it's my aspergers (females tend to be very sensitive towards animals) or I do some massage and can feel the changes. But definitely the oh dear God what's going on and the anxious feelings that go with that. I understand when you're very sensitive towards an animal and pick up on when something is wrong. Animals sensitivity is a good thing. I know you've been through a lot with Fabio and trying to work out what works well for him. I hope it's going well.
> 
> Symptoms list
> 
> Muscle fatigue/weakness when in work, isn't as forward when asked to carry himself. Bracing underside of left neck, right hind is very tight, some swelling at the top of his hip. Swelling more so on the right shoulder. His whole body is sore, hind end muscles and shoulder muscles are very tight. Some shoulder swelling, more to the right then left. Right hind is tight and causing him to be a little irregular on the right hind.
> 
> Resists left bend like he's protecting himself, not being naughty or resisting. Like he's protecting something and he can't do it. Can't sit behind. Just having a hard time with muscle recovery. Hind muscles are super tense, same with shoulders. He's not been over worked. Last week or so has been very light.
> 
> He's stiff when not worked or lunged. I'm going to lunge him today and see if he's worse or better. He also gets stiff when its too cold and his muscles get tight/tense.
> 
> When I rode him last he started on the lunge line a little off but got better then I rode him both directions, was fine then I asked him to trot to the right and was off so I got off.
> 
> He was pretty crabby and he seems irritated with the muscle spasms but he doesn't seem to be in pain. He's still eating/drinking water.
> 
> No symptoms like head shaking or lack of body coordinated. He's very aware and coordinated. He was in good spirits yesterday.




That is really weird!!! I'm sorry you're going through this!

That twitching is what Fabs does too. A lot of PSSM people I've talked to don't think twitchiness like that can be a symptom [they think PSSM twitching is confined to smaller muscle twitches] but I'm not convinced. Especially when there aren't any flies around and the twitching is clearly involuntary/causing the horse discomfort.

I'm gonna send you a PM.


I notice that a lot of the feed he's on has corn/distillers "stuff"/ flax/ yeast/molasses/and so forth.
All those are badddddd news for most muscle myopathies. I'm not saying that's for sure what you're dealing with with Dante [I'm not a vet!], but I see some familiar signs and those ingredients may be making an underlying issue worse.

Corn is bad just due to NSC [many muscle myopathy horses are very sugar sensitive], distillers grains are also really high NSC [they may be in minute quantities, but a MM horse's muscles are basically just looking for something to panic about], flax and yeast slow down the muscle "digestion" process which is great in normal horses...but most MM horses have issues with _too much_ of something in their muscles so you want their muscles to be digesting as fast as possible and working through whatever that "too much" is [for PSSM1, it's glycogen, RER/MFM it's calcium, etc], molasses is just another NSC thing.


What's your workout schedule like with him?
If you're thinking a muscle myopathy, I would avoid doing more that walking for a week+. Get him lots of turnout and do at least 10 minutes of walking everyday - under saddle or in hand. At this point, I'd avoid lunging [unless you're doing serpentine sort of things] as that circling can be extra hard on muscles and, since you don't yet know what's going on, straight lines are safest [imo]. And, if you do choose to do some lunging, "free" is best - no side reins/etc. The walking is to help his body process "his day" [that's how I think of it with Fabs - all the work we do together is him processing his day while I watch] and it's important that he find his own balance...even if his balance is ugly right now. :neutral:


Have you thought about trying ALCAR with him? If it is a muscle myopathy like RER or PSSM1, you'd probably see positive results within days. If you don't see results, the likelihood of something else increases [in my opinion].
ALCAR simply helps muscles process faster - process the calcium faster with RER, process the glycogen faster with PSSM1.

It might be a way for you two to get some relief quickly. A month-ish's supply isn't all that expensive, luckily - 

Amazon.com: BulkSupplements Pure Acetyl L-Carnitine (ALCAR) Powder (250 grams): Health & Personal Care

The dose is 1tbsp/day for a 1000lb horse. Some people do it once a day, Fabio does best on a slightly higher dose split over two feedings [but his myopathy -whatever it is- is special..haha].



*hugs* you are totally right to be concerned, and it's scary to see your baby not doing well so suddenly!
I completely, and totally, get it. Dante is lucky to have someone like you who cares so much!

With any luck, it'll be something like PSSM1 which is pretty super manageable with proper management and shouldn't hold you guys back from any competition goals. Fingers crossed!! <3


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## evilamc

Quick reply, haven't read all responses yet sorry! I saw you have him on grow n win! While that does look like a pretty nice feed, it's packed with soy. Some horses just can't tolerate it! I know in some cases people said there horses got twitches, last time I gave jax food with soy it was like I had a completely different horse...a kinda scary one! I've decided to give soy one more shot with him but I'm not being positive about it. It's been 3 days and I've already noticed him having muscle twitches...maybe I'm looking for symptoms because I'm being skeptical...I just only tried him on soy food for about two weeks and it was when j first got him so I was like NO SOY FOR YOU ANYMORE CRAZY BEAST!!

While waiting for vets and tests, call up horsetech and ask for a sample of their high point grass mix. Tell them you're horse is very picky about powders. They'll send you a three lb bag to try. Soy free, no corn or molasses, very very good stuff! Another forum member here swears by it too. Just mix it on top of hay pellets, if you can, maybe try adding extra magnesium too, magrestore is my favorite magnesium supplement. If you go to performanceequineusa.com you can take a magnesium deficiency test and get free shipping promo code! I think they even have a 30 day satisfaction or money back thing.

Diet is the easiest thing to change right now, so I'd start with that while waiting in more answers! See if changing the diet cancels out any symptoms so you can help narrow down the list.


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## evilamc

Also, out of curiosity, why do you have him on the grow n' win ration balancer AND maga-cell? The grow n' win is like a vitamin mineral supplement itself, I mean I doubt that is hurting him in any way the extra vitamins and minerals BUT he may be getting more then he needs....and basically just peeing out your hard earned cash


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## DanteDressageNerd

Everytime I try to write up I get busy doing something else lol.

Wallaby-thank you so much for your insight and input into our situation. I've known you've had a lot of adventures with Fabio and thank you for sharing what you have learned. I'm sorry you've gone through so much with Fabio, it's never easy to see your best friend go through things that can't be comfortable. 

Thank you so much for letting me know about the corn and other ingredients that may be factors, I emailed smartpak to know if there are good alternatives for a PSSM horse. But it makes sense to me, as with our bodies if we consume something we can't process, even a trace amount our bodies panic about it because they can't break it down and so it's just there creating chaos and throwing the system out of wack.

I'm definitely interested in trying the ALCAR. I'll order some and see if it helps. 

I'm still learning but I'd thing anything where the muscles are showing an unusual reaction COULD be a potential indication or symptom for PSSM or something like that. I wouldn't think it's SO isolated because every horse, even if they have the same condition are still different and will display symptoms differently from others. Maybe something like that is "less typical" but IMO shouldn't be seen as a sign it isn't that, especially when we're still learning about the condition.

Work out wise (and I'm not dismissing your advice at all)- just saying what we've been doing and why and how I feel a difference in him. I'm trying to take my cues from what my trainer (who has dealt with PSSM, she's very compassionate towards the horses and doesnt push past what theyre ready for) and Dante is telling me. I tried doing hand walking and just walk but he seemed to get worse doing that (muscles were tighter/more reluctant to move forward). He gets worse when out of work vs when I trotted or asked him to canter (not a ton or excessive). He was in a large field for at least 8hrs a day, now he's on a dry lot because the grass is SO high in sugar atm. I'm following more of Fiero's workout regime (horse with PSSM2). He gets lunged or ridden daily. Fio is doing well. With Dante when I lunge, even just in a halter he's pretty balanced at long as I help his shoulders and position myself right. I don't like free lunging him (he tends to play pretty hard). He also will play games if I run with him but my knee is pretty banged up so I SHOULDN'T run around with him. I rode him yesterday, just walk trot and his muscles felt less tight afterward. I didn't push him, I listened to what he was telling me. If I had to push/force I didn't because if he's comfortable and can he will. He was more comfortable and happier when I rode at trot and did serpentines and things. 

But thank you for the support, advice and information. I really appreciate it!! And I hope it's PSSM1 if it's more manageable, plus it will show up on the genetics tests I sent to AnimalGenetics, so hopefully results will be back soon and give us some answers or if not things that it isn't.
______________________________

EvilMC- Thank you so much for the suggestions.

I might be "over the top" with vitamins because if I have a vitamin/mineral deficiency I get weak, lethargic and get bad abdominal issues. I try not to over do on things like selenium or fat soluble vitamins but I figure with the water soluble, it wont hurt him to have a little extra. I could probably take him off but the fat soluble And the joint supplement I do for prevention because I think it makes a difference starting them young on it when they work hard and I know for myself I feel a HUGE difference between when I take my supplement vs when I don't. It probably wouldn't hurt to take him off it, I'm just cautious I guess when I maybe don't need to be.

He was also on EQ8. Not now but during winter and beet pulp but this was before we suspected something was wrong. He's not on this now. He really started showing symptoms when the grass came up.

EQ8 Gut Health Horse Feed Multi-Textured for mature horses
Unbeetable horse feed with beet pulp & molasses for flavor

This is what the PSSM horse at the barn is getting but it's EXPENSIVE and I'd have to have it shipped. IF with him being taken off grass doesn't improve how he's doing I'm DEFINITELY open to trying this or high point grass mix or something else to see IF it is feed related. But maybe we'll have answers when the test results come back so we know for sure. 

We're also looking at adding fat to his diet like with the PSSM horse at the barn, so he as something to burn. 

RE?LEVE® | KERx Special Needs Nutrition

ULTIMATE FINISH® 100 - Fat Supplements for all Horses

I'm learning. I'm not a nutrition expert.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Update from tonight

Dante seemed to be in a good mood. We didn't work very hard. We kept it very light because he felt like that's all he could do. So I was on for maybe 5-10 minutes and then we hand walked. My knee felt terrible, like sharp, grinding pains. I had my knee brace on but my knee is getting really bad. I definitely have to go to the Doctors and brace the liklihood of surgery.

We're still working on his diet. I hope I get the tests back from animal genetics next week. I hope we have some answers but if not, at least we'll know what it isnt. 

Short video of Dante when I came to see him. I didn't have a treat but he wanted to lick fingers. He is pretty darn cute, I'll give him that. He didn't do the arab scream he usually does but still seemed happy to see me.






He had a bath and I took him for a walk, he was very upset he's not allowed any grass for a little while. He was doing better today, I think maybe it's helping *shrugs* he's still not right but his wither were spasming quite a bit less *yes* at least it's a step in a good direction. He didn't want to stand still. I tried though. And he is that shiny, I LOVE the shampoo I have. I mix the corona shampoo with the smartpak shampoo then condition his mane and tail with really good conditioner. lol and I look at some of these pictures and I realize why my friends thought I was crazy for trying to turn Dante into a dressage horse but I say Devon Kane really liked him. 








I also decided one day I want to do a freestyle to some songs that mean a lot to me and wear my dress blues. Memorial day is coming up and I think about things my friend's sacrificed and the friends they've lost and the stories. It really gives you a whole new meaning to life when you listen and realize how blessed we are and how blessed we are that we have people willing sign the dotted line up to and including ones life and those young men and women who lose their lives sometimes just being at the wrong place at the wrong time and sometimes listening to the things my friends have done and their stories of what life was like as an infantry Marine or we call them grunts.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Yesterday I rode the babies. We worked 3. Dev was really good, he's the most broke of the 3. He's like riding something "broke" but still baby and needs a lot of help organizing his legs and helping him to use himself properly. lol still needs a lot of help/shoulder control to steer and control his balance. Dev is about 16.2-3h, big, suspension mover yet still smoother to sit than Dante lol. And we do ride our babies on the bit. They're obviously not forced but we focus on throughness and them using their back, having a supple jaw, etc. It makes them a lot more ridable. You can say what you like but our babies are well started and pretty good to ride once they're going. I sit trot on the babies until they feel confident with a rider then I post. You DO NOT post trot on a horse who has not had a rider on through trot before. The up/down action freaks them out. 

I also rode Saturday (arab x oldenburg about 16.1h) and Friday is about 15.1-2h. I rode Friday's sire and they're pretty different lol. Friday is the most sensitive/dramatic of the group lol he takes after his Mama (my trainer's super sensitive mare) but he's a good boy. Saturday is a butthead, he's one of those who has to test his limits and test everything and doesn't think he has to do anything until he's shown no other option, so sat through some interesting stuff lol. You can't react to that stuff, just direct but you're still very limited because they're not exactly broke. I enjoy riding babies, it's pretty amazing how they start and how they end up, especially as they become more symmetrically coordinated and balanced. A lot of the ones who start naughty end up being solid citizens. I think Saturday is just acting like an unbroke 5yr old warmblood whose had it his way for far too long. Kinda cool because I saw some of these guys being born. I also rode Dev's mother, they kinda have the same neck unfortunately so lots of shoulder control, laterals, and sending them to the bit because they want to suck (conformation fault but it's workable). But once he's more broke and going, I don't think that will be an issue. I think we're going to focus on getting these 3 started then we'll worry about the other 3.

I'll get pictures of the babies sometime. 

Dante was really happy today. I think the new diet is making a big difference. No crabby faces, he was full of energy and spark. I rode him for a little bit today, he's not 100% but he was really good. I'm changing his supplements, talked to smartpak about treats/supplements appropriate for him. No more apples, bananas, carrots or peppermints, etc. So joint supplement changed to a more PSSM friendly option and I took him off the multi vitamin, then I ordered ALCAR and he's also going to be on a fat supplement to help with energy. He will be wearing a grazing muzzle as well to help control his grass intake (so high in sugar atm) but he needs to be out in the field. His muscles feel so much better, they are not so tense and to ride it's night and day. He can use himself so much better but he fatigues quickly, so I'm careful not to do too much. He's getting so wide, I'm pretty sure they're going to have to make adjustments to his saddle when they come to fit his saddle when it finally shows up. He's a tank. I've never thought of him as a tank but he's muscling up. His back has totally transformed and he's using himself so much better.

I am SO SO SO happy this is making a difference. I REALLY hope this IS what the problem was. We'll hopefully get the genetics tests back this week *crossed fingers for good news* and for continued improved. Tonight he is in his pasture without a grazing muzzle because there are no dry lots available and I think he'd stress out way too much being the ONLY horse in the barn but hopefully his grazing muzzle will be in soon.


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## Rainaisabelle

Glad things are looking up!


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## Rainaisabelle

I hope you don't mind me asking a question.. I'm curious though, you ride breakers and my question is how you get them to be responsive to leg ? As in moving over and such? I'm really struggling with it at the moment and I just wonder if there's something I can do to sort of help Roy understand better


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## DanisMom

I just ran across this thread. Dante is a gorgeous horse!! What a perfect combination--Arab and buckskin!! I have a buckskin QH and I used to have an Arab. I always thought the two in one horse would be awesome!! One complaint--too many photos!! I need to get moving and get some work done and I'm distracted by pretty horse photos!! Happy riding/training.


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## frlsgirl

Yay; I was nervous when I logged on this morning that it would be more puzzling symptoms and more of him not feeling well. So glad things are looking up.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- I just want to say thank you. You have no idea how grateful I am for you. And for the support of this forum. It's good to have! I really appreciate the quote and time you took
> 
> I'd definitely be interested in trying ALCAR or something that might help Dante. I don't like seeing him so weak/fatigued. I was thinking all his symptoms really became apparent when the grass started coming in, so maybe there is a correlation. We're taking Dante off the grass until his grazing muzzle or fat mask comes in. We're making changes to his diet to hopefully help him *crosses fingers* I just don't want to do the biopsy. But no you're absolutely right motion is lotion and absolutely necessary IF it is PSSM. And I think she will. She's just got a lot on her plate.
> 
> That is certainly true. Kentucky is gorgeous. I was admiring it while driving through last year :lol: great horse country.
> 
> :lol: well that's okay if he only wants to watch you ride because you and Izzy matter to him and he cares to learn because he cares for you both. That's sweet  And yes it is much better when they enjoy a road trip too!!
> 
> He sure does. When it's rough, it's rough and when it's smooth it's smooth. On one hand it makes you pretty tough but on the other hand it's like I'd really appreciate if the ocean was a little smoother :lol: and sometimes you're so focused on the waves that you forget the only reason you've learned to ride them is because of how steep and wild those waves can be. If you're always riding smooth or small bumps, you can't handle the rough ones the way you can when you've ridden them before. Can't grow much without a challenge, though some of the challenges are a little excessive :lol: but I don't know if I'm meant to "catch a break" when push comes to shove, I'm pretty tough. And I think I'd be pretty nervous/suspicious/get excessively neurotic and nervous if the water was too smooth. Id' be anticipating the next wave all the time.
> 
> That is true. They do hit a wall when they realize the holes in their life vs the ones you skills you learn doing all the "boring" stuff. Developing babies, rehabbing multiple horses, riding multiple wackos, and a huge variety of challenging retraining projects and unique horses, including a saddleseat horse. I don't know that I have much talent, I have very good feel and I "stick" but talent not so much. Just a lot of hard work and hours and hours riding a large variety of horses with good instructors. But I entirely agree luck only takes you so far, then what do you have to fall back on to make up for the missing pieces of competence?
> 
> It sucks to be so young and falling apart doesn't it? My parents think it's hilarious I have so much more degenerative issues than they do. But it sucks when you have all these accumulated injuries and the residual pain. I hope your body works out well for you, it's no fun to be falling apart early. It's true. Who knows what the future holds but I have a hard time seeing something work for me. I'm a really-really tricky fit. I just REALLY hate dating, it isn't fun for me. I think if something were to work for me it'd have to develop naturally. I've tried dating sites before but it's not for me. There are a lot of things and I'm definitely bitter with deep seeded trust issues and I'm pretty upfront about things, if they run I don't need them. I'm fine alone. I don't have the patience and I expect the absolute worst most despicable behavior from an innocent face. I expect them to be lying to me and trying to fool me. I can't listen to being complimented by men, I hate it. It makes me feel like they're trying to dig their hooks in to gage their leverage on how far they can manipulate me and what they can do to me. There is some deep emotional damage and they'd really have to understand that and why I'm so distant and mistrusting and anything with me would be SUPER SUPER SLOW. And if they send mixed messages at all, I'll stop talking to them. I wont' chase or play games, if they value me they can prove it. If they're honest, they'll prove it. But I have issues and I'm more powerful/stronger than a lot of guys and they hate that. I'm not big 5'7 138lbs but I used to be able to throw the 180lb guys over my shoulder like a rag doll. I'm not that strong anymore but still strong. It's how I could ride those big, jerk off horses.
> 
> I sure hope she does too. She's an incredibly nice/talented mare and Angel's done so well with her.
> 
> Genuinely thank you for the quote. I enjoy it. I'm generally the face everything and rise type, I've never been a coward. I've never fled from responsibility. I've always stood my ground and stood up. Never been known to be a coward or had my character questioned. But it does wear you out after a while and grind you down so you're tough but there are parts of you that are lost forever. I guess it's a tradeoff. Ignorance is bliss is true.


Anytime  It's a good quote!

I saw he seems to be doing well with his new diet, which is awesome!! I'm also glad Smartpak was able to help you out. They are a great company! Shame he can't have bananas though :sad:

I agree  it is gorgeous!

I will say, it makes things way more fun when they load willingly and excitedly  you know they aren't just hopping in because you've asked them to, but because they WANT to go where we are heading.

That is true. I know whenever it's totally calm I look around like "what am I missing?" But calmER would be nice!!

Eh, talent only gets you so far as well. Working hard to better yourself is where it's at.

I'll live :lol: but I hate our bodies try to betray us at such young ages. Such is life!

She sounds awesome 

I knew you weren't a coward  just, we all need a reminder of how strong and awesome we are at times. You'll get through this, and you and Dante will be better through it.

I am VERY glad he seems to be happier already! I sincerely hope the results come back SOON, and the ALCAR comes in! Hopefully it'll be quick reaction like Fabio has, and you'll know immediately what you'll be dealing with (muscle related, or something else). Fingers crossed he keeps feeling better!!

And good luck with the babies!! They sound fun!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Raina- when we break babies and teach them to move forward we start our babies on a lunge line, so I apply leg and use voice commands like a cluck or kiss which they know from lunging and if they don't respond we reinforce with the whip and over time they pick up on it and eventually we'll ride them with a whip and tap them on the neck or I tend to tap my boot. I rarely tap them behind for a while or they get nervous/anxious and you want to promote that relaxed, happy baby.

With laterals, we start on the ground with turns on the forehand and apply hand pressure like a poke with our hands about where the whip is and then we do it undersaddle, we ask and the person on the ground reinforces if the horse doesn't understand. We start with turn on the forehand and eventually introduce leg yield. We call it teaching the ABC's.
___________________________

Danismom- Thank you. I think he's pretty handsome too. I don't know that an arabian x qh or stock type is always a good cross. Sometimes they have the worst quirks of both breeds lol. But thank you. He's a good man. Tons of personality.
___________________________

Tanja- yes I am too. I'm glad he's doing better and I HOPE beyond HOPE this is the answer and he's going to be just fine. But thank you I'm over the moon he's doing better and we have a game plan that seems to be working. 
___________________________

Katie- Well thank you anyway 

Me too. I'm SO SO glad he's doing so much better. I was very worried about him and getting really upset not knowing what's wrong. I HOPE this is it and nothing more but he's happy right now and that makes me happy. I'm sad he can't have bananas either but if it is PSSM his muscles can't use glycogen as an energy source, so the basic metabolic process of transforming glycogen into ATP, so he's going to take longer to condition and he will have limits because his muscles are compromised but with an alternative diet and hopefully with the ALCAR and fat, I REALLY hope that will help him and fortunately Dante let's us know when he's tired and can't, so we can stop before he's fatigued or being pushed towards tying up and I hope since we've caught it early enough that maybe we can prevent muscle damage through management. I know there is a learn curve to this and I'm hoping to figure out the balance to do what is best for Dante.

Absolutely! It adds a good kind of excitement to the venture!

EXACTLY!! I'm in absolute terror and stress when things are TOO peaceful, like this isnt right. Where's the curve ball, I know it's going to hit soon. Reality isn't a peaceful, happy place, that's a temporary imaginary utopia. But I know what you mean, manageable is good and appreciated :lol:

Aint that the truth? Sometimes people who have always had things come easy to them have no work ethic and tap out once they get into higher level stuff and can't rely on their innate abilities/talents and tap out. Vs those of us that are the late bloomers move past them because we worked and really understood the base. I am grateful to have ridden so many babies and greenies and have been able to provide them with an education that allowed them to rehab successfully or go on to do well. You learn a lot starting and training horses over and over again, it makes riding a school master when you sit on one pretty easy and it makes you really adaptable switching from horse to horse and you pick up on things really fast watching a horse go or when you sit on them because you've ridden something that did something similar or just figuring out what method works best for that horse or not. I know Pam said 4yrs ago it would be easy to get me showing 4th level if I had a 4th level horse. And we both still think it's realistic to ask Dante to compete PSG. It just might take more time but that's okay as long as Dante can be my first horse I take to the FEI levels.

She really is. I miss her :lol:

:lol: that's true. I don't know that I'm awesome. honestly I can be an *** sometimes but usually if I'm an *** it's called for lol.

I've also been happier since I've learned not to be shocked be people's behavior, there's a lot of people who want the truth, they don't want to hear anything but what they want to hear and it's been just to step back and say well I'm not that person. I can't kiss *** and suck up to people if it's inauthentic. I am what I am, take it or leave it is how I see it and I've learned to accept that being that way can mean showing people the door out of your life because it's not worth spending your time or putting in the effort you do into people just to be slapped across the face for it and people do. They don't notice people who are consistent, always there, and give them their time, they notice the ones they have to fight for approval from. I'm appreciated by Pam and my family and things but life lesson. Don't give when you get nothing back, not even appreciation or a thank you. Dont waste your energy, compassion, or effort on people who don't value it.

Me too! I'm really excited for when then ALCAR comes in to see how quickly it hits his system and makes a difference. On the package I ordered it says it crosses the blood-brain barrier so I'm really curious about it. Especially since it's worked for Fabio who has muscle myopathy issues too.

And thank you. I'll be honest. I love breaking and starting babies. It's SO nice when they get going and they're so nice to ride and to hear people say how ridable they are. When I was paid for riding and the horse's owners would thank me for how ridable and nice the horse's were to ride that always made feel really good because their horses would be less spooky, listen better and be more respectful of their rider's aids. That made me happy to see their owner having success with them 

Also been watching a lot of dressage and having discussions with my trainer and we were watching videos from the 70s and 80s and had the same conclusions. Just because something is convention or tradition doesn't make it the best/right/only way. Minimal throughness and elasticity or horses really working over their back which to us is why a lot of them move with hocks out behind, straight hollow neck, not lifting out of the withers, often out of rhythm/balance. The old school focuses on a head/neck position (which is why theyre elevated but braced at the base at the neck vs really lifting over the back, through the wither and over their topline in a relaxed-elastic way). Neoclassical focuses more on throughness, balance, and the whole connection of the body. They use different methods and you can see it in the horses. Carl hester, Hubertus Schmidt, Charlotte Dujardin are example of neoclassical systems.


----------



## Rainaisabelle

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Raina- when we break babies and teach them to move forward we start our babies on a lunge line, so I apply leg and use voice commands like a cluck or kiss which they know from lunging and if they don't respond we reinforce with the whip and over time they pick up on it and eventually we'll ride them with a whip and tap them on the neck or I tend to tap my boot. I rarely tap them behind for a while or they get nervous/anxious and you want to promote that relaxed, happy baby.
> 
> With laterals, we start on the ground with turns on the forehand and apply hand pressure like a poke with our hands about where the whip is and then we do it undersaddle, we ask and the person on the ground reinforces if the horse doesn't understand. We start with turn on the forehand and eventually introduce leg yield. We call it teaching the ABC's.
> ___________________________
> 
> Danismom- Thank you. I think he's pretty handsome too. I don't know that an arabian x qh or stock type is always a good cross. Sometimes they have the worst quirks of both breeds lol. But thank you. He's a good man. Tons of personality.
> ___________________________
> 
> Tanja- yes I am too. I'm glad he's doing better and I HOPE beyond HOPE this is the answer and he's going to be just fine. But thank you I'm over the moon he's doing better and we have a game plan that seems to be working.
> ___________________________
> 
> Katie- Well thank you anyway
> 
> Me too. I'm SO SO glad he's doing so much better. I was very worried about him and getting really upset not knowing what's wrong. I HOPE this is it and nothing more but he's happy right now and that makes me happy. I'm sad he can't have bananas either but if it is PSSM his muscles can't use glycogen as an energy source, so the basic metabolic process of transforming glycogen into ATP, so he's going to take longer to condition and he will have limits because his muscles are compromised but with an alternative diet and hopefully with the ALCAR and fat, I REALLY hope that will help him and fortunately Dante let's us know when he's tired and can't, so we can stop before he's fatigued or being pushed towards tying up and I hope since we've caught it early enough that maybe we can prevent muscle damage through management. I know there is a learn curve to this and I'm hoping to figure out the balance to do what is best for Dante.
> 
> Absolutely! It adds a good kind of excitement to the venture!
> 
> EXACTLY!! I'm in absolute terror and stress when things are TOO peaceful, like this isnt right. Where's the curve ball, I know it's going to hit soon. Reality isn't a peaceful, happy place, that's a temporary imaginary utopia. But I know what you mean, manageable is good and appreciated :lol:
> 
> Aint that the truth? Sometimes people who have always had things come easy to them have no work ethic and tap out once they get into higher level stuff and can't rely on their innate abilities/talents and tap out. Vs those of us that are the late bloomers move past them because we worked and really understood the base. I am grateful to have ridden so many babies and greenies and have been able to provide them with an education that allowed them to rehab successfully or go on to do well. You learn a lot starting and training horses over and over again, it makes riding a school master when you sit on one pretty easy and it makes you really adaptable switching from horse to horse and you pick up on things really fast watching a horse go or when you sit on them because you've ridden something that did something similar or just figuring out what method works best for that horse or not. I know Pam said 4yrs ago it would be easy to get me showing 4th level if I had a 4th level horse. And we both still think it's realistic to ask Dante to compete PSG. It just might take more time but that's okay as long as Dante can be my first horse I take to the FEI levels.
> 
> She really is. I miss her :lol:
> 
> :lol: that's true. I don't know that I'm awesome. honestly I can be an *** sometimes but usually if I'm an *** it's called for lol.
> 
> I've also been happier since I've learned not to be shocked be people's behavior, there's a lot of people who want the truth, they don't want to hear anything but what they want to hear and it's been just to step back and say well I'm not that person. I can't kiss *** and suck up to people if it's inauthentic. I am what I am, take it or leave it is how I see it and I've learned to accept that being that way can mean showing people the door out of your life because it's not worth spending your time or putting in the effort you do into people just to be slapped across the face for it and people do. They don't notice people who are consistent, always there, and give them their time, they notice the ones they have to fight for approval from. I'm appreciated by Pam and my family and things but life lesson. Don't give when you get nothing back, not even appreciation or a thank you. Dont waste your energy, compassion, or effort on people who don't value it.
> 
> Me too! I'm really excited for when then ALCAR comes in to see how quickly it hits his system and makes a difference. On the package I ordered it says it crosses the blood-brain barrier so I'm really curious about it. Especially since it's worked for Fabio who has muscle myopathy issues too.
> 
> And thank you. I'll be honest. I love breaking and starting babies. It's SO nice when they get going and they're so nice to ride and to hear people say how ridable they are. When I was paid for riding and the horse's owners would thank me for how ridable and nice the horse's were to ride that always made feel really good because their horses would be less spooky, listen better and be more respectful of their rider's aids. That made me happy to see their owner having success with them
> 
> Also been watching a lot of dressage and having discussions with my trainer and we were watching videos from the 70s and 80s and had the same conclusions. Just because something is convention or tradition doesn't make it the best/right/only way. Minimal throughness and elasticity or horses really working over their back which to us is why a lot of them move with hocks out behind, straight hollow neck, not lifting out of the withers, often out of rhythm/balance. The old school focuses on a head/neck position (which is why theyre elevated but braced at the base at the neck vs really lifting over the back, through the wither and over their topline in a relaxed-elastic way). Neoclassical focuses more on throughness, balance, and the whole connection of the body. They use different methods and you can see it in the horses. Carl hester, Hubertus Schmidt, Charlotte Dujardin are example of neoclassical systems.


With teaching the leg yields on the ground what are you expecting ? Just for them to move from pressure of fully move in a leg yield fashion?


----------



## DanteDressageNerd

Rainaisabelle said:


> With teaching the leg yields on the ground what are you expecting ? Just for them to move from pressure of fully move in a leg yield fashion?


For leg yield, I start with turn on the forehand and we transition that to leg yield.

Or I do it on the ground, I expect the horse to know to step side ways off my whip or from my body position (carrying a whip or not carrying a whip just depends on the horse, one way or the other is not more "virtuous"). A lot of times when I do in hand work with Dante I don't carry a whip, sometimes I do, it just depends on the day but I position my body with both my hands on the reins, I ask for bend from my position and outside rein and ask him to move over while I half halt on the outside rein. I watch that the hind legs are crossing appropriately. That the horse isn't over bent and stepping over appropriately. 

In the saddle with a horse new to leg yield, I'll start at quarterline and step into my outside stirrup and when I feel the inside hind leg come off the ground I put my inside leg on and ask them to step over. When the step down with the inside hind leg I half halt on the outside rein. It's okay if they make mistakes or get a little crooked figure it out, the important thing is that you encourage the effort and make it a positive experience. As well as to ensure they get the concept. So step into outside stirrup to put your weight to the outside telling them where to put their body (they naturally gravitate to balance the rider over center so they gravitate towards that change in balance). 

Down the road on a more advanced horse, for example if you leg yield Dante. Just position and ask. You still half halt to keep the shoulders in line and keep the horse pretty straight (still maintain inside bend) but straight in the shoulders, so there front end isn't too infront or behind the back end. But a lot of the time with him it's more like controlling the shoulder with the outside knee and leg while sending a pulse down the outside rein to half halt and sending him forward to keep the impulsion and elasticity through the movement so it appears effortless.


----------



## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- Well thank you anyway
> 
> Me too. I'm SO SO glad he's doing so much better. I was very worried about him and getting really upset not knowing what's wrong. I HOPE this is it and nothing more but he's happy right now and that makes me happy. I'm sad he can't have bananas either but if it is PSSM his muscles can't use glycogen as an energy source, so the basic metabolic process of transforming glycogen into ATP, so he's going to take longer to condition and he will have limits because his muscles are compromised but with an alternative diet and hopefully with the ALCAR and fat, I REALLY hope that will help him and fortunately Dante let's us know when he's tired and can't, so we can stop before he's fatigued or being pushed towards tying up and I hope since we've caught it early enough that maybe we can prevent muscle damage through management. I know there is a learn curve to this and I'm hoping to figure out the balance to do what is best for Dante.
> 
> Absolutely! It adds a good kind of excitement to the venture!
> 
> EXACTLY!! I'm in absolute terror and stress when things are TOO peaceful, like this isnt right. Where's the curve ball, I know it's going to hit soon. Reality isn't a peaceful, happy place, that's a temporary imaginary utopia. But I know what you mean, manageable is good and appreciated :lol:
> 
> Aint that the truth? Sometimes people who have always had things come easy to them have no work ethic and tap out once they get into higher level stuff and can't rely on their innate abilities/talents and tap out. Vs those of us that are the late bloomers move past them because we worked and really understood the base. I am grateful to have ridden so many babies and greenies and have been able to provide them with an education that allowed them to rehab successfully or go on to do well. You learn a lot starting and training horses over and over again, it makes riding a school master when you sit on one pretty easy and it makes you really adaptable switching from horse to horse and you pick up on things really fast watching a horse go or when you sit on them because you've ridden something that did something similar or just figuring out what method works best for that horse or not. I know Pam said 4yrs ago it would be easy to get me showing 4th level if I had a 4th level horse. And we both still think it's realistic to ask Dante to compete PSG. It just might take more time but that's okay as long as Dante can be my first horse I take to the FEI levels.
> 
> She really is. I miss her :lol:
> 
> :lol: that's true. I don't know that I'm awesome. honestly I can be an *** sometimes but usually if I'm an *** it's called for lol.
> 
> I've also been happier since I've learned not to be shocked be people's behavior, there's a lot of people who want the truth, they don't want to hear anything but what they want to hear and it's been just to step back and say well I'm not that person. I can't kiss *** and suck up to people if it's inauthentic. I am what I am, take it or leave it is how I see it and I've learned to accept that being that way can mean showing people the door out of your life because it's not worth spending your time or putting in the effort you do into people just to be slapped across the face for it and people do. They don't notice people who are consistent, always there, and give them their time, they notice the ones they have to fight for approval from. I'm appreciated by Pam and my family and things but life lesson. Don't give when you get nothing back, not even appreciation or a thank you. Dont waste your energy, compassion, or effort on people who don't value it.
> 
> Me too! I'm really excited for when then ALCAR comes in to see how quickly it hits his system and makes a difference. On the package I ordered it says it crosses the blood-brain barrier so I'm really curious about it. Especially since it's worked for Fabio who has muscle myopathy issues too.
> 
> And thank you. I'll be honest. I love breaking and starting babies. It's SO nice when they get going and they're so nice to ride and to hear people say how ridable they are. When I was paid for riding and the horse's owners would thank me for how ridable and nice the horse's were to ride that always made feel really good because their horses would be less spooky, listen better and be more respectful of their rider's aids. That made me happy to see their owner having success with them
> 
> Also been watching a lot of dressage and having discussions with my trainer and we were watching videos from the 70s and 80s and had the same conclusions. Just because something is convention or tradition doesn't make it the best/right/only way. Minimal throughness and elasticity or horses really working over their back which to us is why a lot of them move with hocks out behind, straight hollow neck, not lifting out of the withers, often out of rhythm/balance. The old school focuses on a head/neck position (which is why theyre elevated but braced at the base at the neck vs really lifting over the back, through the wither and over their topline in a relaxed-elastic way). Neoclassical focuses more on throughness, balance, and the whole connection of the body. They use different methods and you can see it in the horses. Carl hester, Hubertus Schmidt, Charlotte Dujardin are example of neoclassical systems.


You're welcome 

I hope for your sake it is!! Would be nice if it's a fairly easy fix! And I understand about the bananas. Just a shame since he loves them :sad: but gotta do what is best for the horse!

Haha, yes! Too quiet causes alarm :lol:

Oh yeah, I know! I know a lot of riders that just learn to ride their horse, and nothing else. I'm not saying I can get on everything and make them look phenomenal, but I'd at least know how to steer them toward that direction. And I have total faith he can still make it to the FEI levels! This is just a minor blip in the road!

LOL, well, being an *** is ok :lol: I can certainly be one as well!

So dang true!! Too many people that are users of people out there, but thankfully not everyone. Definitely not worth wasting energy on those who just want to take all the time and give nothing in return. But that is fair to not be shocked anymore by people. I'm about at that point with some people :lol:

I can definitely say that is HUGE it passes the blood brain barrier. That is NOT an easy thing to do (I know; I worked for a research company attempting to do that with their drugs). When will it be here? Extremely curious when it'll arrive!!

That is pretty awesome! Babies can be a lot of fun, and makes it even more fun that their owners love how they were started!

Sounds like you guys had a fun time then watching all these videos! Always fascinating to look back at dressage from that era!


----------



## frlsgirl

Regarding the leg yielding, as long as the horse is trained to move off of the leg, you have a good starting point; with me and Ana it's about shoulder control - she will try to lead with the shoulder and rush to the wall so I sometimes have to almost halt her to say "no, we are not running back to the wall!" I'm still not coordinated enough to catch her shoulder when she's rushing, the only way I can do it is if I slow way down.


----------



## DanteDressageNerd

Exactly! I'm really hoping this is it and we don't have to run a series of other tests *crosses fingers* he's still not 100% he fatigues SO quickly. He's not strong enough to do much work. He can walk, trot, canter on the bit and carry himself through but he runs out of steam quickly and can't do it for long. I did some more lateral works yesterday but he can't do anything long or too much. So lots of walking. But it is a shame when he can't have the things he loves treat wise.

That it is! It means something is up or coming that's going to be a hard blow to come back from!

I entirely know what you mean or people get very full of themselves because they can ride a horse well then have a fit when they ride something else and arent as skilled/good as they thought. Horses are humbling. I can get on a lot of horses and do very well, I'm used to hopping on horses I've never ridden before and doing a clinic (super funny when clinician asks you about a horse and you're like well I don't know I havent' ridden it before and I've seen it go once) or hopping on horse to horse and having to figure them out pretty quickly and getting them going. But I've definitely seen horses I KNOW I don't have the skill or strength to ride. Strength does matter. But thank you  my goal is to get there one day on him, I think he's a late bloomer in many respects but I think it'll take more time to condition him so he can handle that level, he's naturally downhill and moves downhill, so he will need to be stronger behind to sit as much as he needs to and still be through. You can get great elevation if you sacrifice throughness but I'd rather take my time and elevate in degrees, so he's actually lifting out of his wither and from the base of his neck rather than just throwing his neck up and bracing his lower neck and back. 

lol that's good I think people are more honest when they can be an *** too. you really need to be sometimes. Sometimes that's all people understand. But exactly! It's WAY too draining and takes up WAY too much time to pour yourself into people who don't value you. Make time for those worthy of it. Not those who want you to care about them but don't care about you.

It really is! I have no idea when it'll be coming in but hopefully soon! Same with his grazing muzzle because he is getting FAT!

Exactly! I love riding babies because if you can give them a good start, a lot of the times they're super ridable and easy to train as adults plus they're more of a joy to ride than horses who have been crammed together and left uneducated about the aids, correct responses, or taught things contrary to our goal.

Yes! Pam and I usually have really good dressage discussion and I always come out of it learning something. She obviously knows a lot more than I do but it's really good to have those conversations and to see a lot of our ideals lie on the same line. It is interesting to view the past and take note. I like it a lot better than watching Anky or similar riding but I MUCH MUCH prefer the riding of Carl Hester, Charlotte Dujardin, or Hubertus Schmidt to say the old masters. The horses are so much more through, supple, balanced, over their back, really working their entire body vs just shoving their neck up, bracing at the base of the neck and being partly engaged over the back but not through the whole body or lifting out of the withers or from the base of the neck and through turns the body is more rigid in the old videos which is why I don't idolize them the way I do Hubertus Schmidt or Carl Hester or Charlotte Dujardin. Because I look at who I want to ride like. I know I'll never be their level but I you learn watching.
________________________________________

Dante from yesterday lunging. He was out last night but in his stall all day so I wanted a slow warm up. We walked for at least 10 minutes and I didn't want to push him too much but you can see he's pretty lethargic vs what he used to be like. Right is his harder way, right hind and left shoulder are his weak points. 






Here was after a rider and due to a storm he wasn't going outside, so I wanted him to move as much as possible. My knee is still pretty bad so I can't do a ton of hand walking. If I striaghten my knee and stand on it I will collapse, it's really painful. I'm not just being dramatic, it is bad. 





Yesterday I lunged Friday and rode Dante.

Dante was REALLY REALLY good. He felt absolutely the most through and correct he has ever felt. He was really good, we mostly walked and did quite a bit with laterals. Walk piroettes, a little haunches in on a circle, some shoulder in and leg yield but no drilling or pushing. Just to improve his way of going. Did some trot. did one lengthening each direction to get him more forward and canter felt the most through it ever has. He really felt like riding a trained horse which is good, responded appropriately to half halts but he's quick to fatigue, so it was more like this is all I want and got off before he got tired. He's using his back SO SO much better. He gave me a great canter left, very balance, correct response to my aids, very through, half halted appropriately, moved forward appropriately, brought his shoulders or haunches in and leg yielding and I got off and walked him. My goal is that he feels like he can do more after every ride. It's nice because he's so light and relatively delicate to ride. Very much a skills ride. More position and ask and be very subtle/gentle with the aids. For shoulder in I just positioned, used a bit of outside leg and helped some with my inside leg and literally barely touched the outside rein and there he was. It was very pleasant and felt very refined which made me happy.

Friday lunged in side reins and that went very well. Definitely helped him organize his balance better and helped him. He's a really nice little horse. He moves more like his mother than his sire. I think he has more the drive and sit from his daddy but his mom's lightness. Then I gave him a bath and he was super shiny and handsome. He's SO sweet, he wanted to lay his head in my arms and lick me. I've known him since he was born, he was SO bad as a foal. It's good to see how well he's matured. I'm still stunned he's only 15.1-2h. His mom is 16.1h and dad is 16.3h. I had the privilege to ride his sire who was alternate for the Olympics with Emile Faurie. Really ridable stallion, super cool horse. I'm so glad I had that opportunity.

Friday


----------



## Tazzie

Poor Dante :sad: I'm sure he's frustrated too not being able to do what he normally does. How soon should the ALCAR arrive? I really hope it isn't too much longer.

Yup, I've seen the ones like that. Or the ones that are CERTAIN they can ride as well as you can on your own horse. It's like "uh huh, sure you can..." My trainer can get really good work out of Izzie, but even she says Izzie gives me that bit extra to make her look better with me :lol: I prefer people leaving their ego at the door. And I totally know the struggle! Izzie is struggling with the same thing right now with regards to learning how to really carry her weight behind. It's HARD and she doesn't want to do it. But she'll get there. And then we'll both be showing our Arab x Stock horse crosses at FEI :lol:

Totally agree!

Do you have a tracking number for it? I always obsessively check tracking numbers when I'm waiting on stuff :lol: partially because I'm impatient, partially because we have a dog that will shred anything before we find it (mail service likes to play the "which door to leave a package at" game). Hopefully the grazing muzzle helps to tone him down some! Though, and I could be wrong, but I thought Fabs lost a lot of his overly chunky appearance once his diet took hold for his muscle issue? Maybe it could be something like that?

Very true! That's why I wanted to work with my own baby. I spent YEARS fixing what everyone else did. I wanted a blank slate for my own.

Always good to learn new things  and yes! I like to watch them too. I just want like, a sprinkling of their talent :lol: just a little bit!

He's looking good and happy! That's good at least!

And Friday is such a cutie!! Small fry! Funny thing about those heights :lol: the baby my former trainer had didn't end up the size she wanted him to be. Dam was I think 17.2, sire was 16.2/3 (can't remember which; just remember he was roughly that range), and baby was around 18 hands at 2. Not what she was going for :lol: how old is Friday?


----------



## frlsgirl

DanteDressageNerd said:


> I had the privilege to ride his sire who was alternate for the Olympics with Emile Faurie. Really ridable stallion, super cool horse. I'm so glad I had that opportunity.


That's awesome! I also got to ride Ana's daddy and it was a super cool experience; stallions are so sensitive and flashy - loved, loved, loved it! I also sat on her mom but didn't get to actually ride as she had been out of work for a while.


----------



## Rainaisabelle

Just to get in on this.. Roys father made Australian history for winning the golden slipper and then served as a stud for several seasons


----------



## Tihannah

So glad to hear Dante is doing better! So great to have this forum where people can help with ideas and tips! 

I gotta tell you though, Cassie. Your boy is getting more and more handsome each day!


----------



## DanteDressageNerd

Alright I haven't really been on much in a few days. Been a little preoccupied :lol: I will respond to all responses accordingly for now I'm doing a quick update as I SHOULD be in bed, sleeping with a cat curled up in the small of my back. This weekend is the show and tomorrow I'm not sure if I'm working or not, then I wanted to support my barn at the show, plus the Prix St George jack pot I wanted to watch and spend time with family and change Dante's hoof bandage and buy more duct tape.

Yesterday was eventful, I helped out/worked at the barn in the morning then got a message from Maggie (Sky's mom) because the feed store she was heading out to was pretty close to my barn. Sorry I didn't have as elegant story Maggie did, I'm not a great story teller :lol: but honestly it was perfect timing because I had all my chores done while Maggie was at the feed store and getting appropriate barn foot wear. So while she did that I pulled Dante out of his stall who was 3-legged lame and I was like well you're not dying but you're really hurt and had my trainer look at him before she left and we thought stifle, so Dante had 2 grams of bute and I had cold hosed Dante's leg by the time Maggie arrived, so I could actually enjoy her company and show her around. Rather then well Dante's broken, so he's being buted and hosed. Dante was very patient in the cross ties while I showed her the barn and horses. He doesn't mind cross ties, he'll fall asleep (unless there are storms or wind or someone flying out of no where).

I WAY over chatted Maggie and she stayed for several hours. I felt bad because I knew she had chores she needed to do but I was just so excited to have someone whose a horse/animal person to talk to or to hear her stories of how she got Sky and where she grew up, etc. We talked for hours about Dante, Sky, horses, dressage, life, people, experiences. Leggings and a very obscure group of people who want to ban leggings. I was very disturbed by this, leggings are wonderful sleep wear. I also got to meet Lucas and his companion and love on the dogs. They were very friendly and seemed happy to meet someone new. It's a lot of love! So hopefully I'll get to meet Sky next! I'm really looking forward to that visit, it'll be nice! I like meeting good people, it's a blessing. It was a pleasure to have Maggie and her 4 pawed comrades here. Now I just need to meet Sky 

After Maggie left, I talked to one of the horse's owner who has found her horse a new home because she's tried everything and she was really sad about the situation because she loves her horse but she's like me where horse's are WAY too expensive to spend that money to keep as a pet or if they can't do what you want to do. At some point you have to be practical. But she found him a REALLY great home and so we talked about things. I think she needed someone to listen. It's a very emotional thing to give away a horse, Id want someone to be there for me or at least hear me out and reassure me too. I feel for her, it's SO hard but he's going to a great home and she's still going to take lessons/ride. She's a very kind woman. Then the vet came out and looked at Dante (he was coming for another horse), so he did hoof testers on Dante and he had an abscess at the toe of his hoof, so Mark dug it out and Dante was walking SO much better. I'm really happy he had almost instant relief! 

Today I worked in the morning, then rode Rey (18h warmblood) at walk and Dante (just walked). Vet said to keep him in work but at a walk because if he has days off or he's kept in he gets SO SO stiff and sore :-( I also talked with the animal communicator about him and that was really interesting. Then it was my mom's birthday.

She said the first thing she felt in Dante is he's VERY body sore (he was super sore today from being in overnight) and he's not happy (not with me but something has changed). She said he's not saying why but it may be that we lost a worker and have a new one Dante doesn't trust or like. She immediately picked up on his sore left shoulder, sore parts of his back, and right hind. He mentioned the saddles really hurt his back and he wants me to sit more forward when I'm bareback. He's also worried about his neighbor to the right who is an older horse and sometimes looks uncomfortable. She mentioned a bling browband and asked if I had a blingy browband, she said Dante just loves it! He think he is the most handsome horse in the barn, if not the world when he wear it. She said he really likes to stand out and likes things that make him look good. It was really odd she mentioned a pair of gloves I have which have little hearts on them and said Dante loves them! He likes it when I wear the pretty gloves. Anything to make him stand out. I was busting out laughing when I heard that because that doesn't surprise me. He thinks he's pretty cool. She said Dante wanted to make sure I knew that when he's better he'll be able to do the things I want to, he just can't right now and wants to make sure I know that he wants to do well. He also talked about being broke western and he felt he was broke too early (he was broke at 3) but they didnt do much with him. He just said he wasn't ready. She said he felt very overwhelmed at the show but after he saw it, he could handle it and really appreciated my calm presence. She said he says it gives him confidence that I'm so calm and soothing to him. It makes him believe he can and it's okay. So it was interesting. I didn't give her hardly any information but she picked up on things instantly which amazed me and knew some things I've never posted or even picture of, like my colored gloves.

He is now on ALCAR and fat. His grazing muzzle has finally come in but he has a popped abscess, so he's able to go out ONLY on the dry lots. I will be TICKED if he's out in his field. The hole isn't deep, it's pretty superficial but still that's exposure to his foot it doesn't need. He has a duct tape boot and vet wrap with medicine and another thing to help draw it out. I can't remember what they're called.


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## Tihannah

Wow! That's amazing! I'm a believer in that type of thing and think some people are just born with that talent as a clairvoyant. That's so funny about the browband and gloves. I think she described Dante to a T and I could absolutely picture him thinking those things! Lol. I would love to get inside Tess's head and know what she's thinking!


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## Skyseternalangel

That animal communicator sounds really neat, I'm happy that she was able to provide that comfort in knowing he also wants to please you and be a dressage star just as you hope he will be. Love the bit about the browband, LOL!  He looks super handsome in his, I've always thought that

I am so curious now about what Sky would say to her, lol... probably that I am a PITA lol for switching him from comfy padded stall to outside all the time. He used to love it.. lol!

SOOOO happy it's just an abscess!!! So pleased!


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## Rainaisabelle

That actually sounds really awesome ! I wonder what Roy sometimes thinks of me lol!


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## Tazzie

Sounds like a lot of fun!! Glad you guys had a great visit!! And that he just has a small abscess! He'll be right as rain in no time! Hopefully the ALCAR helps!

And now I'm curious about this communicator :lol: care to send me the link?


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## Rainaisabelle

Sorry what's ACLAR


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## DanteDressageNerd

Okay formal response to earlier stuff

Katie- Exactly!! There are a lot of people out there who don't have a clue because they havent sat on a variety of horses, so they seem to think riding/training is as simple as A, B and C, and think you can just apply certain aids and magically fix everything wrong with a horse. They think nothing of training the horse or educating the horse's body/mind, just think their aids do all the magic. Not their actually training system. I think most horses can be ridden by a good rider and go better for a better rider but then there are some who definitely go better with their mother, no matter how good the other rider may be because there is already that relationship and trust established. The horse has confidence in their parents and no matter how skilled that other rider may be, it's doesn't make up for the relationship/bond between a certain horse and their person. I don't think that's true for the majority but there are quite a few like that and I can see Izzy being like that. I know Dante is. When my trainer rode him and she's a WAY better than me and she can get more from him but he seemed to always be resisting and looking for an opportunity with her vs working with her. Horses like that give their person an extra degree they wont give to just anyone.

And yes when we have our stockhorse/arabs going FEI that will be grand. We'll need an article together about unusual dressage horses at the upper levels :lol: or that'd be awesome right?

But yes starting your own from scratch is REALLY nice, no baggage to carry along with you.

And exactly :lol: I love watching their skill and finness and try to see if I can pick up on anything. I know I'll never be at their caliber but I admire how hard they must have worked to ride like they do and have their horses go so seamlessly. They practice makes perfect but that's not true, perfect practice makes perfect. So incredible.

:lol: it's funny how babies mature some are much bigger or smaller than their parents. Kahlua (my old eventer) was 17h. His dam was 15.1-2h and his sire was 16.1h. Jeeze 18h is massive. I rode an 18h horse the other day but I didn't feel that high up though definitely bigger than my not quite 16h half arab. But Friday has his check ligament cut as a weanling, so I think that might be part of it.

And definitely. I'm thankful it's something minor and the vet is drawing blood for lymes and EPM on tuesday. I asked because I just want to make sure that's not a factor as well. I think he does have PSSM because diet and exercise makes such a BIG difference but that doesn't mean it's the only part of the problem. Just for peace of mind if anything because if he has lyme he needs treatment. 
_______________________________

Tanja- some stallions are really great. Some are no a joy to ride, I'll leave it at that but that's really awesome you got to ride Ana's parents! That's really-really neat/cool. Did you buy her from her breeder?
______________________________

Raina- Roy's father in lovely!!

I'm sure Roy loves you! And is thankful for all the love and care he receives from you!

ALCAR is Acetyl L-Carnitine 

Acetyl L-Carnitine Benefits - L-Carnitine | Dr. Weil
______________________________

Tina- it's really nice to have a forum that offers good advise or can share their insight based on their experience to expand your knowledge base and help you when the answers aren't obvious or different ideas. But thank you I think he's getting more handsome each and every day too :lol: he's matured SO much! 

I agree. I'm not sure I beleive 100% but I'm very curious about it and it is really neat that some people have such an ability. I think there is something to it. It was so weird she emailed me the next day in the early morning to tell me Dante was in more pain and needs to be looked at and sure enough I saw him and he was definitely more body sore and his abscess was bothering him more, didn't want to stand on that foot and I was like woah that's odd. lol it'd be something to know exactly what they're thinking as we do things with them or what it's like to mesh your consciousness with theirs. Would be neat.

And I agree. Dante LOVES being braided up, he loves standing out and feeling "show offy" but she was spot on with how overwhelmed he felt at the show and then he calmed down as he got used to it. He wasn't feeling well today so I braided him and made him feel handsome, then he got a massage. He loves massages, he was TICKED when I stopped. lol it would be something to get in their head and know what they're thinking.

___________________

Maggie- It was really neat. My eyes started leaking a little which is ridiculous but Dante has a big heart and he tries so hard, he really means well. He wants to please. I'm glad he wants to stand out and think so highly of himself. Thank you  I LOVE his browband. 

lol I'm sure it would be interesting but I doubt Sky would say that. He might mention it but he'd probably be thankful for how much you've made a difference in his life and how it's nice to have someone who believes in you. I think horses can tell when you love and believe with him. I bet it means a lot to him. 

And thank you I'm glad it's just an abscess too! So grateful!
________________

Update on Dante

We're mostly struggling with figuring out how much exercise he needs so he's not body sore but also not so much that he's hoof sore. I'm a little frustrated on that one. The vet said to work him at the walk and ride him but I kept him at walk and he went outside that night and the next day he was so sore and in pain, so I let him free lunge and the next day he looked a lot more comfortable, his muscles weren't so tense. It just looks uncomfortable when his muscles tense. Movement helps but today I think I did a touch too much :-( I want to do what is best for him. But he got a full body massage today and yesterday, he LOVED it but became VERY angry when I stopped. Gave me all kinds of nasty looks and ear pinning. But I was exhausted and did it for quite a while. I think it's helping him a lot. I think he'll always need some weekly massage work.

I soaked his hoof to clean it out then put the medicine and whatever pad/bandage, wrapped it with vet wrap and then duct tape and he seemed a lot more comfortable after I did that. 

I tried to go to the local show but was working all weekend, so I didn't get to see but 2 rides. One was lovely and I think when Dante's finished and older he'll go a lot like that horse, canter and trot is SO similar it was incredible. The other was eye opening. I won't elaborate just, I get shocked by other dressage riding I see. She wasn't a rough rider or mean just eye opening. My body is pretty sore :lol: my knee is doing LOADS better. Ive been doing a lot of stability type exercises and working out an exercise program to help my knee (I think it's the ACL but I don't know for sure) but the stabilitity/balance and holding poses have done wonders for it.

I managed to make friend with big Bailey who was the only horse at the barn I don't really like (there's a good reason) but for some reason he really trusts me and I feel bad for him because he was abused and that's why he acts out SO aggressively when you mess with him but I cuddled him and he let me give him his medicine with minimal fuss and when he does fuss, I just put the lip chain on, medication in and off the chain goes. So we had a heart to heart and he trusts me which is good. 

My friends showed 3rd level for the first time, I wanted to watch her ride but didn't a chance and I feel bad for her because she just started schooling half pass and changes this week (she's riding a PSG school master) but she got a 62 and a 65% this weekend and is one score shy of earning her bronze medal. I'm really happy for her. She's worked really hard and appreciates the opportunity to ride this horse. She's someone who has the schoolmaster experience but she appreciates it and knows there is a lot more to riding than the levels. She did great, I saw some video and it looked really good. I gave her a pep talk. She did great. 


I beautified him because he hasn't been feeling well and the animal communicator said he loves to stand out so I made him look snazzy, I think he liked that. He LOVES to be braided, just falls asleep and relaxes. I think he feels special dressed up. He wants to be noticed and stand out and I laugh because he's in the right home for that. Hopefully we'll do another show this year, so we can get him out some more.







Best braid job to date. I am a former groom, so I got the crash course in grooming, horse care, it's TOUGH to be a groom. You always have to pay attention to the details and be mindful. You get great at wrapping legs and finding good/bad products and tack cleaning. I was SO anal :lol: but I'm glad I spent time as a groom, can whip out a duct tape boot pretty easily and you remember little tricks. 







Short free lunge video to let him get out and move. Movement is really important to keep him from getting body sore, he looks so uncomfortable when he doesn't get to move. His left shoulder is super tight, left hind is the abscess. His genetic tests came back negative for the 5 panel but I think he does have PSSM because the diet made SUCH a big difference and exercise is a big factor is keeping him comfortable.






I also want to buy Dante's half brother who was just born. He's a buckskin with a star too. And well I feel Dante needs Virgil but I can't afford it :lol:


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## Tihannah

Wow! That braid job is amazing! I wish I could make Tess's braid look that good!


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## Rainaisabelle

One of the sites I love to read is pro equine groom it's got some really good tips.


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## frlsgirl

DanteDressageNerd said:


> She said the first thing she felt in Dante is he's VERY body sore (he was super sore today from being in overnight) and he's not happy (not with me but something has changed). She said he's not saying why but it may be that we lost a worker and have a new one Dante doesn't trust or like. She immediately picked up on his sore left shoulder, sore parts of his back, and right hind. He mentioned the saddles really hurt his back and he wants me to sit more forward when I'm bareback. He's also worried about his neighbor to the right who is an older horse and sometimes looks uncomfortable. She mentioned a bling browband and asked if I had a blingy browband, she said Dante just loves it! He think he is the most handsome horse in the barn, if not the world when he wear it. She said he really likes to stand out and likes things that make him look good. It was really odd she mentioned a pair of gloves I have which have little hearts on them and said Dante loves them! He likes it when I wear the pretty gloves. Anything to make him stand out. I was busting out laughing when I heard that because that doesn't surprise me. He thinks he's pretty cool. She said Dante wanted to make sure I knew that when he's better he'll be able to do the things I want to, he just can't right now and wants to make sure I know that he wants to do well. He also talked about being broke western and he felt he was broke too early (he was broke at 3) but they didnt do much with him. He just said he wasn't ready. She said he felt very overwhelmed at the show but after he saw it, he could handle it and really appreciated my calm presence. She said he says it gives him confidence that I'm so calm and soothing to him. It makes him believe he can and it's okay. So it was interesting. I didn't give her hardly any information but she picked up on things instantly which amazed me and knew some things I've never posted or even picture of, like my colored gloves.


Wow! She could have seen the blingy browband on FB but not the gloves; so she picked up on the fact that he's body sore but did she help you narrow down the source of the problem? Like did she give you specifics like TMJ or C3, C4 etc?


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## Rainaisabelle

I also think someone should make a YouTube channel on grooming tip (wink wink nudge nudge  )

Love the braid I can never get them right! I'm still trying to figure out tail braids lol


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## frlsgirl

Wait a minute.....I'm just now getting caught up so Dante also has an abscess? Didn't I tell you we are living parallel lives, lol?


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## Dehda01

He isn't getting sore even through the bareback pad? I know some horses that get really back sore even with treeless saddles. Sometimes they really can't handle having the weight not being dispersed over a tree. Particularly the sensitive ones. My Arabs quickly refused any thoughts I had of treeless saddles. Just a thought. PSSM can be on top of it. But everything seemed to multiple once you started riding bareback.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Okay formal response to earlier stuff
> 
> Katie- Exactly!! There are a lot of people out there who don't have a clue because they havent sat on a variety of horses, so they seem to think riding/training is as simple as A, B and C, and think you can just apply certain aids and magically fix everything wrong with a horse. They think nothing of training the horse or educating the horse's body/mind, just think their aids do all the magic. Not their actually training system. I think most horses can be ridden by a good rider and go better for a better rider but then there are some who definitely go better with their mother, no matter how good the other rider may be because there is already that relationship and trust established. The horse has confidence in their parents and no matter how skilled that other rider may be, it's doesn't make up for the relationship/bond between a certain horse and their person. I don't think that's true for the majority but there are quite a few like that and I can see Izzy being like that. I know Dante is. When my trainer rode him and she's a WAY better than me and she can get more from him but he seemed to always be resisting and looking for an opportunity with her vs working with her. Horses like that give their person an extra degree they wont give to just anyone.
> 
> And yes when we have our stockhorse/arabs going FEI that will be grand. We'll need an article together about unusual dressage horses at the upper levels :lol: or that'd be awesome right?
> 
> But yes starting your own from scratch is REALLY nice, no baggage to carry along with you.
> 
> And exactly :lol: I love watching their skill and finness and try to see if I can pick up on anything. I know I'll never be at their caliber but I admire how hard they must have worked to ride like they do and have their horses go so seamlessly. They practice makes perfect but that's not true, perfect practice makes perfect. So incredible.
> 
> :lol: it's funny how babies mature some are much bigger or smaller than their parents. Kahlua (my old eventer) was 17h. His dam was 15.1-2h and his sire was 16.1h. Jeeze 18h is massive. I rode an 18h horse the other day but I didn't feel that high up though definitely bigger than my not quite 16h half arab. But Friday has his check ligament cut as a weanling, so I think that might be part of it.
> 
> And definitely. I'm thankful it's something minor and the vet is drawing blood for lymes and EPM on tuesday. I asked because I just want to make sure that's not a factor as well. I think he does have PSSM because diet and exercise makes such a BIG difference but that doesn't mean it's the only part of the problem. Just for peace of mind if anything because if he has lyme he needs treatment.


Yup! We've been discussing one such person as well :lol: and exactly. I think an Izzie or a Dante will always try harder for mom as opposed to a trainer. Izzie was lovely with Maggy, but even Maggy said she was better with me. It's very noticeable that they always want to try harder with us 

Hey, I'd be cool with that :lol: the Arab/Stockhorse crosses are taking the dressage world by storm!! Haha!

It truly is! 

One day we will be seamless, at least with our own ponies :lol: maybe not everyone else's horses, but our own. I refuse to hear otherwise :lol: just need to keep trying to perfect our practicing! Slowly but surely 

Kincaid was a big boy. He was worse since he knew just how big he was. A horse that big should never be taught that he's big. And genetics is fun that way! How come Friday had to have it cut? Did he have a club foot or something? Curious now lol

You'll have to keep us posted how the blood draw goes! Though, it very well could be PSSM2 or the same thing Wallaby and Fabs are dealing with!

I'm sure you guys will find a balance between work and rest. Just a totally new situation to be in. And the abscess will heal. He'll be ok 

Sounds like you do a hoofpack like I was taught at vet science! We would soak, then put the medicine on, some kind of cushioning (usually cotton), basically an entire roll of vet wrap, and then a duct tape square that we created in vertical and horizontal strips (we made it up on our thigh, then put it on the hoof). Perfect for a horse that is turned out 24/7.

Now I'm curious what made her eye opening :lol: I'm glad your friend had a good show though! Those aren't terrible scores for a first crack at it!

I'm also glad you and Bailey got along this weekend :lol:

He is just the most handsome pony!! Love him and his sparkly tiara!


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## Tazzie

Dehda01 said:


> He isn't getting sore even through the bareback pad? I know some horses that get really back sore even with treeless saddles. Sometimes they really can't handle having the weight not being dispersed over a tree. Particularly the sensitive ones. My Arabs quickly refused any thoughts I had of treeless saddles. Just a thought. PSSM can be on top of it. But everything seemed to multiple once you started riding bareback.


I thought she mentioned earlier she was borrowing a saddle that fit fairly well? I'm guessing the bareback pad was used just to walk around in. Obviously Cassie can correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember her saying she'd found a saddle to use until his custom one came in.


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## Dehda01

I dunno. I don't keep up 100%. On another thread I thought she said she was riding bareback a significant period right now.


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## DanteDressageNerd

That saddle didn't work out unfortunately, Dante didn't like it. He refused to be forward in it and it ended up being tight through his withers (it was an extra wide but to get it to sit right it needed thinline pads) but that just wasn't the right fit but through traditional methods back cover was nice and even, didn't come to far over his 17th rib, good shoulder clearence but when you sit in the saddle it puts pressure about 2 inches back and 3 inches down on his wither. I don't know when his new one will be ready and how long we'll have to wait if adjustments need to be made. I'm pretty sure it will need to be widened, he's a lot thicker then when his measurements were taken but it has an adjustable head plate and panels. I think it's better to be bareback than in an improper fitting saddle. I don't think riding bareback is the source because after we did mesotherapy on his back (old saddle I think did some damage to his muscles) we havent had back issues, just whole body issues. After we changed his diet he started using his back and self alot better, he would fatigue quickly so I think muscle myopathy. We didn't push him and my goal was to stop riding before he felt fatigued and no lessons for a while until he feels better, so if he can only do 10 minutes walking the money isn't wasted and he's being given a chance to adjust to the diet and get back on track. It's his whole body, not just his back. Right now his shoulders are the worst. I have no doubt riding bareback all the time can/does make them sore or not having good tree support to spread to distribute the weight better and more evenly. I definitely agree with that, especially asking what we do from them but I don't think that's a problem here. I think it's some kind of muscle myopathy issue or possibly lyme disease but I'm not doing the muscle biopsy to have an official diagnosis. I talked to my vet about the diet, supplements, etc and asked his opinion and he said dont waste your money on a biopsy unless it's absolutely necessary. If the diet is helping then we'll treat him as if that is it. 

His genetic tests came back negative for PSSM1, HyPP, MH, HERDA and GBED. most Qhs have PSSM2, not type 1 from what I read so I think it's very possible/likely that's it because of how much improvement Ive seen from the diet change and how important exercise is in keeping him from being body sore and how much better he does with at least 10-12hrs of turnout.
_______________________

Tina- thank you. I do take pride in my braiding/grooming skills 
_______________________

Raina-I dont know if I could keep up doing something like that. I'm really awkward so I think it'd be a very awkward explanation of grooming lol.

Braiding and everything with horses in general, just takes lots and lots of practice lol.
_______________________

Tanja- Specifically it was his left shoulder and right hind hurting and a spot in his back, so after we put his back shoe back on I want the chiropractor to look at him because to the left in his carrot stretches he's perfect, going right pretty limited range of moment. She thought maybe his 1st rib but wasn't that's definitely it. 

And we really are living parallel lives atm. Our horses are synchronized :lol:
________________________

Katie-lol yes we have but exactly. Some horses feel a strong bond with their mother/person and that's who they will give the extra degree for. A better rider might be able to get more or different things but they won't get the same effort, compliance and trust. Some horses have a stranger get on and are like you're not my mother, I don't know you. What do you want? And test the rider to the hilt.

There we go! That'd be the dream for sure!

lol I sure hope so. That's definitely the goal! I just want lovely refinement and team building and at PSG I was people to say that was really pleasant to watch. 

Friday had a clubby, turned out hoof and the surgery straightened it a lot but the student's at the school did his bandage incorrectly and too tight and so he has an ugly scar from it. His leg is fine but looks ugly. I remember you talking about Kincaid and definitely teaching a horse like that they can intimidate and push/bully people isn't okay and just creates a problem that shouldn't exist.

I don't know for sure what it is but I'm pretty sure it's some kind of muscle myopathy issue and atm I'm going with it's type2 because diet and exercise make such a BIG difference in his muscles/body soreness. I don't want to get the muscle biospy (very expensive and invasive plus it takes a good chunk of muscle I don't want taken) to prove what we suspect. If we can manage it through diet/exercise to me that's all that matters. 

And yeah basically :lol: I used to make them all the time as a groom. The bandage thing we put on before vet wrap is supposed to help draw it out. It's like a bandage and we wet it then put it on, cover in vet wrap. I let it drip and dry then I duct tape it.

The lady was eye opening because she was riding 3rd level but missing a lot of basics. Couldn't sit trot as in was bouncing out of the saddle and sitting WAY WAY back which it's fine to do some but I mean like leaning back far in the extensions. Her horses looked difficult to sit but her hips just weren't supple or elastic and she'd whip the horses head around into half pass each change of direction and he was very stiff/rigid over the back not from being naturally tense/nervous or lack of warm up but from how he's been trained. I can tell the difference between situational and training, his under neck muscles were too developed to be a one time thing and he didn't have a neck conformation that would cause those muscles to be overly developed. He was a nice horse, she wasn't a mean/rough rider, she just looked like she was missing a lot of basics and had a lot of holes in her education. I think that's just what her trainer taught and didn't teach her different, so she didnt know better. But she did her best and wasn't mean or abusive and didn't seem mean spirited but who knows.

Me too! I'm glad he and I came to an understanding. He's not an especially smart horse but I can tell he's not mean spirited, he's just very defensive from his previously abusive situation. Horses dont forget that stuff. And thank you  I think he's quite handsome too. And I know he knows he is too :lol:


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## Dehda01

Most of the Arabs have the type of PSSM that needs to be diagnosed via muscles biopsy, not the DNA test.

I just mention it, because I know of at least three horses that started showing similar symptoms after being ridden either bareback or in treeless saddles. Our seat bones can affect the entire body and press on large muscles. They can compensate and get tight spots because of it. I am just playing devils advocate/troubleshooting. My job as vet tech


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## whisperbaby22

I'm glad Dante is doing better. As for the tree/treeless controversy, it's up to the horse. I'm lucky I can ride my current horse treeless, I much prefer it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Certainly. I'm always open to hearing other ideas and I agree our seat bones can definitely affect whole muscles groups or create tight spots but I think it's some kinda of muscle myopathy. I don't know if PSSM covers everything, he may have lyme disease and PSSM but I do know his symptoms got a lot worse when the grass came in and it's really lush/high in sugar. 

I've opted not to do the muscle biopsy, we've changed his diet as though he has PSSM and worked him as though he has PSSM. I think there is definitely a positive change but I'm not sure if that's the whole answer. 

Whisperbaby22- thank you I'm really glad he's starting to do better too but I'm glad you both enjoy the treeless variety.

Tonight he was resting his leg on his abscess hoof and that made me really happy to see. Shows things are clearing up. One more day with the bandages and I think he'll be good to get his shoe back on. It was a pretty superficial abscess.

He lunged tonight and was quite good, so I rode him for a little bit. We mostly walked, did some trot figures of 8, cantered 1 circle each direction and were done. His posture and demeanor changed almost entirely after work vs before. Before he just looked disdainful or displeased with the world, ears held back not angry just looked uncomfortable, afterwards he was a lot perkier, bright eyed and looked more comfortable and interested in things.

I talked to my trainer about a variety of things too and she said with the PSSM horse she has in training the more she does with him the better he is. You'd think working him hard one day would cause him to be stiff but she said the next day he's freer, looser and more comfortable in himself. Not saying this is the same for all PSSM horses but that's what she observed/experienced. So after Dante gets his other shoe back on and feels better we'll see what he's able to do. Still have to listen because he'll say what he can and can't do. I also think he needs to see the chiropractor once his shoe is back on because he can fully flex left but only half that much right, so it's probably time. His blood is being pulled Tuesday to test for Lyme and EPM. I thought the vet had done that-that one Saturday but he didnt because he wanted to talk to me about it. But I've opted to do it for peace of mind because I'm not sure we have ALL the answers and I want to get to the bottom of this. 

A few pictures and yes Dante is fat. I called him fat a few times and I think he understands, I know that sounds ridiculous but he pinned his ears and glared at me everytime I called him chubby or fat. But this made me so happy. This is after he worked.




I'm just saying he's a chunk. He's naturally heavier set but he's fat right now. At least he doesnt have fat pockets or a cresty neck, that worries me a lot more than seeing a slightly thin horse. But he's off grass atm and should be back in real work hopefully soon and he has a grazing muzzle for when he goes back out on grass.


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## frlsgirl

Lol - he's giving you the stink eye, too! Like he's saying "Don't you dare post these on FB or HF either, mom!"


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## Skyseternalangel

I know they understand what's going on. When I was taking more frequent pictures of Sky's Top Line he used to give me these really dirty looks because he felt objectified and I'm not making the shTufft up. It's in his face and he's very opinionated and his expression reflects that. Sometimes he even walks away because he doesn't want to deal with me today.


----------



## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I think so. Dante was not in the best mood yesterday. I think he's just uncomfortable and he HATES hot weather. I don't think he'd want these photos shared to show his new body :lol:

Maggie- I agree. I think alot of horses definitely understand when we disrespect them or insult them. I think they understand more than we think or can prove they know. But I can see Sky having a sense of dignity and pride and not wishing to be examined or displayed like a model. He's probably like I'm a horse, not just something to look at. 

BUT I FINALLY came up with a braiding tutorial. It's not great or anything but you can see how I braid. It kinda makes me laugh because I dont hear my accent when I speak but when I watch this I can definitely hear it. But the only thing I do to prep the hair is use detangler and brush through the mane, then I flip it to the other side and start braiding. And when I groomed, not just for my trainer other people would ask me to wash their horses tails or things because I had the "magic" tail solution :lol: my tails after being washed an conditioned are super soft and look deceptively thick.


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## frlsgirl

Love the video! Now I see what you do differently; you fold the right section over the middle twice, and you pull everything much tighter than I do. I can't wait to torture Ana with this - she hates getting braided.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> That saddle didn't work out unfortunately, Dante didn't like it. He refused to be forward in it and it ended up being tight through his withers (it was an extra wide but to get it to sit right it needed thinline pads) but that just wasn't the right fit but through traditional methods back cover was nice and even, didn't come to far over his 17th rib, good shoulder clearence but when you sit in the saddle it puts pressure about 2 inches back and 3 inches down on his wither. I don't know when his new one will be ready and how long we'll have to wait if adjustments need to be made. I'm pretty sure it will need to be widened, he's a lot thicker then when his measurements were taken but it has an adjustable head plate and panels. I think it's better to be bareback than in an improper fitting saddle. I don't think riding bareback is the source because after we did mesotherapy on his back (old saddle I think did some damage to his muscles) we havent had back issues, just whole body issues. After we changed his diet he started using his back and self alot better, he would fatigue quickly so I think muscle myopathy. We didn't push him and my goal was to stop riding before he felt fatigued and no lessons for a while until he feels better, so if he can only do 10 minutes walking the money isn't wasted and he's being given a chance to adjust to the diet and get back on track. It's his whole body, not just his back. Right now his shoulders are the worst. I have no doubt riding bareback all the time can/does make them sore or not having good tree support to spread to distribute the weight better and more evenly. I definitely agree with that, especially asking what we do from them but I don't think that's a problem here. I think it's some kind of muscle myopathy issue or possibly lyme disease but I'm not doing the muscle biopsy to have an official diagnosis. I talked to my vet about the diet, supplements, etc and asked his opinion and he said dont waste your money on a biopsy unless it's absolutely necessary. If the diet is helping then we'll treat him as if that is it.
> 
> His genetic tests came back negative for PSSM1, HyPP, MH, HERDA and GBED. most Qhs have PSSM2, not type 1 from what I read so I think it's very possible/likely that's it because of how much improvement Ive seen from the diet change and how important exercise is in keeping him from being body sore and how much better he does with at least 10-12hrs of turnout.
> 
> Katie-lol yes we have but exactly. Some horses feel a strong bond with their mother/person and that's who they will give the extra degree for. A better rider might be able to get more or different things but they won't get the same effort, compliance and trust. Some horses have a stranger get on and are like you're not my mother, I don't know you. What do you want? And test the rider to the hilt.
> 
> There we go! That'd be the dream for sure!
> 
> lol I sure hope so. That's definitely the goal! I just want lovely refinement and team building and at PSG I was people to say that was really pleasant to watch.
> 
> Friday had a clubby, turned out hoof and the surgery straightened it a lot but the student's at the school did his bandage incorrectly and too tight and so he has an ugly scar from it. His leg is fine but looks ugly. I remember you talking about Kincaid and definitely teaching a horse like that they can intimidate and push/bully people isn't okay and just creates a problem that shouldn't exist.
> 
> I don't know for sure what it is but I'm pretty sure it's some kind of muscle myopathy issue and atm I'm going with it's type2 because diet and exercise make such a BIG difference in his muscles/body soreness. I don't want to get the muscle biospy (very expensive and invasive plus it takes a good chunk of muscle I don't want taken) to prove what we suspect. If we can manage it through diet/exercise to me that's all that matters.
> 
> And yeah basically :lol: I used to make them all the time as a groom. The bandage thing we put on before vet wrap is supposed to help draw it out. It's like a bandage and we wet it then put it on, cover in vet wrap. I let it drip and dry then I duct tape it.
> 
> The lady was eye opening because she was riding 3rd level but missing a lot of basics. Couldn't sit trot as in was bouncing out of the saddle and sitting WAY WAY back which it's fine to do some but I mean like leaning back far in the extensions. Her horses looked difficult to sit but her hips just weren't supple or elastic and she'd whip the horses head around into half pass each change of direction and he was very stiff/rigid over the back not from being naturally tense/nervous or lack of warm up but from how he's been trained. I can tell the difference between situational and training, his under neck muscles were too developed to be a one time thing and he didn't have a neck conformation that would cause those muscles to be overly developed. He was a nice horse, she wasn't a mean/rough rider, she just looked like she was missing a lot of basics and had a lot of holes in her education. I think that's just what her trainer taught and didn't teach her different, so she didnt know better. But she did her best and wasn't mean or abusive and didn't seem mean spirited but who knows.
> 
> Me too! I'm glad he and I came to an understanding. He's not an especially smart horse but I can tell he's not mean spirited, he's just very defensive from his previously abusive situation. Horses dont forget that stuff. And thank you  I think he's quite handsome too. And I know he knows he is too :lol:


Oops, thought you had one that was working out well enough for now  sorry!

Glad he's responding to the diet change!

Agreed! I'm sure Maggy could better work out of Izzie, with regards to different movements, but I'd be surprised if Izzie put forth the effort to really try hard for her. She's ok with other riders, so long as they aren't making her do something new. That is when she gets upset :lol:

Sure would be the dream!

You'll get there 

Ah, ok. That sucks they wrapped him too tight, but at least it doesn't affect him. And yeah, it was a dumb move on the guys part.

I'm sure you'll be able to figure out the right balance for it. Sounds like he was a good boy yesterday for his work! Glad he seemed looser at the end of it!

We used ichthamol on the area to draw it out, wrapped with cotton, then vet wrap, then duct tape :lol: it's what my buddy did when he worked at the horse park. Seemed to do well!

Yikes :/ I can see what you mean. Not a mean rider, but a rider that should maybe go back to basics and figure out how to get the horse through. And a way developed underneck is just not pretty at all. Tells the true story of how they ride :/ who knows if she will ever realize how she's riding is incorrect.

No, they definitely don't forget anything. Shame he has an abusive past :/ and he sure does :lol:

That video was good! Going to have to watch it a lot since I'm having a hard time grasping how you maintain 4 separate pieces. I'm pretty tired, so that factors in. I'll have to practice it once I grasp a better understanding :lol:


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## Skyseternalangel

Hahaha I love the giggles, that's my favorite part. Also when Dante stretches down to rest his face literally in the crosstie cradle, that was very cute. He's such a sweet boy

AHA! The double fold! That's why it's so secure! See without it, the braid just kinda gets bigger and further away from the neck, and looks wonky. I am excited to try this with Sky, he's got a little longer than banded mane atm but it's very slippery and my hands ache like crazy as I am so out of practice.

Yes, I can attest your tails are super soft! Sky's is like dreadlock broom straw, but still pretty because it has great movement lol. But if I actually cared for it, he'd be a knock out. Speaking of, I bathed him yesterday and he didn't roll! Someone likes being handsome too it seems..


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## Rainaisabelle

Yasssssss (dances around enthusiastically)


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol I'm glad the video is being well received :lol: I guess I finally made it and yes Cerina and I are pretty giggily. We've known each other for 8-9yrs. She knew my event horse pretty well and still has some video of him from the last recognized show I did in 2009? Crazy its been that long. Just been poor and lacking a horse to compete on. Had too many greenies/rehab/retraining projects or there was no point in going to a show because the horse was too unpredictable and it'd be a waste of money and I don't need to show I can ride 3rd level one day and the next go around without steering. I didn't own the horses I rode then. And didn't have the money to lease. Lol I've been trying to have a show season for a while.

Update from today

Dante is doing well. I didn't ride but the vet drew blood to run the blood panels for EPM and lymes, we should have the results next week. I told the vet I was his ray of sunshine and he'd been waiting all day to see me. And he was like yes Cassie you are my moon and stars, the light that brings me the rainbow lol and I said this is true, I'm glad you know I'm so special :lol: we have fun. And he gave us the okay to put his shoe back on. So it's going on tomorrow and Dante saw the chiropractor. C7 was the only thing out but that can cause them a lot of pain and discomfort. 

I didnt ride, he lunged today and looked great! He was SO full of himself and full of energy and life. It made me so happy to see him so alert and he looked so able and comfortable in his body. I hope I'm not jumping the gun but I think he's ready to go back to regular work! And maybe lessons if he's well enough tomorrow!

Also rode babies today, we just did Saturday and Dev. Both were really good. I had to lunge Saturday for forever to get all his spirits out. He is a belligerent little jerk, so a lot of it with him is just teaching him obedience and compliance. Dev was really good. He's the most broke and we had a really good ride. He has a very awkwardly put together neck, so it takes a bit to send him through and to the bit. Not bad, he just has to be forward enough and he needs to have his shoulders taken in and out a bit to get him through and using his neck right. Never take back on a neck light that, always pushing forward and to. I rode in a neue shule bit, I can feel the difference. They're not bad, just different. I prefer the herm sprenger bits though. 
_______________________

Tanja- Ana doesn't like being dulled up and braided? That's too bad but it's an excellent braid, it takes some practice but I'm sure you'll work it out! It's all about keeping the hair as close to the neck and tight as possible.
______________________

Katie- No big deal 

Me too. I'm starting to really see a change now that his abscess is healing and he's been adjusted. He was so full of life today on the lunge line, so I'm excited to ride him tomorrow after he's had his shoe put back on. 

Exactly. For the technical/mechanics they can get much better but they don't get the same compliance or effort or can get that extra expression. They don't go the same for "not mom" vs mom.

It would! And I really hope so. I think with him feeling better and getting everything back on track he's going to go so much better. His movement has improved so much and he always moves way better undersaddle than on the lungeline, so I'm excited for when we have our new saddle and can have normal lessons and get back on track with progressing. He's such a different horse with the diet change, it's unreal. 

We use iodoform and animalintex but there are a lot of good things that work well!
https://www.smartpakequine.com/pt/animalintex-614

Yeah. It really was dumb on whoever did it :-( poor Friday but he seems fine on it, it's just really ugly. He's such a good-sweet boy. He's going to be so happy when he can be an amateur horse.

He's doing better now and should get his shoe back on, so I think he can really work now! And definitely Pam said the longer she works her PSSM horse the better he goes and the more the muscles loosen up. I notice with Dante he feels so much better after working over his back and doing dressage work (working over his back) vs just lunging around. Work seems to make a pretty big difference in keeping him happy/comfortable which is good right? :lol:

Exactly! not a bad rider, just need to go back to basics but I dont think her trainer knows the basics well, so she doesn't know the basics well. And I dont know if she'll ever learn them or not. She didn't seem pompous, just did her best with what she knew. That's like one trainer in my area that ruined Comet (still have no idea how she got him to rear) but she is so locked in her hips because she values pretty over effective and rode through PSG but I can't stand her because she's all ego and no skill. She thinks she's better and more important than everyone and acts like she's the only one who does correct dressage and bad mouths everyone in the passive well I don't want to say anything mean but way. Just frustrates me because my trainer and I discussed her yesterday and I was like I don't mean to be nasty but I'm a better rider than she is and it drives me nuts when people are so consumed by ego and bad mouth all the people who ride better/know more than they do and will never get anywhere or improve because they're not open to learning or changing. A person possessed by ego will never gain wisdom or growth.

It is sad but I'm glad Bailey finds comfort in me and trusts me. That feels good when a horse has been hurt, is emotionally damaged and they cling to you with trust. 

You might have to watch it a few times, it took me a little bit to work it out but practice makes perfect and figuring the technique that works for you.
_______________________

Maggie- lol I'm glad you enjoyed the giggles. We're pretty light hearted for the most part :lol: and he really is. He's matured a lot in the last few months and has really grown and become a good horse. I'm really proud of him and how far he's come.

And yes! Exactly!! it's a very secure braid, it doesn't fall apart like the regular running braid, plus it looks fancy and professional. It takes some practice but I'm sure you'll work it out and you may need to band the hair in a few spots down the neck for the running braid if he has shorter hair so that it holds. The long hair holds better but he may also look really good with the dutch braid (basically normal banded braids but thicker, longer hair). 

Use a good soap and use a high quality, very hydrating conditioner or even let the tail soak in coconut oil before you wash it and scrub to the base of the tail and rinse with lukewarm water, then the conditioner. Pick through the tail then wash it out with cold water. Let it dry and put on the fancy detangler and brush through. I never put it on wet or it doesn't seem to work as well.

lol but that's great he didn't roll or wreck his coat after his bath. That's pretty awesome! I'm sure he feels gorgeous! Like a super model who isnt being objectified but appreciated :lol:
________________________________

Raina- yes I finally got around to it!
________________________________

And Dante pictures from today. He's doing a lot better and yes he is awkwardly conformed. Short back, long neck and downhill but he uses himself well, just something youre mindful of when you ride. His neck is built to come up high and swanish, so it's always sending him forward and to and it took a lot of education to teach him how to use his neck, respond to bit pressure properly but after a year and half he rides a lot more normal vs awkward.


----------



## Wallaby

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Pam said the longer she works her PSSM horse the better he goes and the more the muscles loosen up.


This is definitely true! PSSM horses tend to have a lot of "staying power," once you get through that first 10-15 minute "danger zone." If they make it through the first 10-15 minutes ok, they're only gonna feel better [usually]. I always breathe a sigh of relief when Fabs is warmed up all the way and seems pretty comfortable! haha 

One thing I will caution you about, if I'm correct in remembering that the PSSM horse you reference is a WB, is that Warmblood PSSM2 is basically divided between RER or MFM [I'm still waiting on the test results, but it looks like Fabio has RER, for example]. RER/MFM is different than PSSM2, but tends to be classified as such - depending on the lab that looked at the biopsy.

As a Quarab, Dante has a chance of getting 'true' PSSM2 [the QH variant] from his QH parent, or RER/MFM from his Arab parent [QHs also _can_ carry RER since it's a disease that originated with Arabs, is in TBs, and QHs trace to TBs...but the chances are low].

Just basically keep in mind that chances are high that Dante and your friend's warmblood have different myopathies. There's definitely a chance that they have the same one, but it's not a given.

On the plus side, despite being cause by different defects in the genome [P2 hasn't quite been figured out yet but it isn't a glyocogen storage disease, while RER/MFMs have a "glitch" in how their bodies process calcium], PSSM2 and RER/MFM have a lot in common diet-wise - compared to say PSSM1 and RER/MFM.
Both tend to not be sugar-sensitive, both tend to need some fat [thought P2s do best on high high protein and RER/MFM can worsen with too much protein - RER/MFM does better with increased fat], etc.

One slight difference though is that P2s tend to do best with every-other-day work while RER/MFMs need daily work to do best.


Anyway, I'm rambling, it's late for me! haha
I just think this myopathy stuff is so interesting. Unfortunate and not super fun to live with, but very interesting!
I'm glad you guy are getting it figured out! I'm happy for you guys! Dante looks like he's feeling better.


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## frlsgirl

I love the picture where he is visiting you, in the tack room I'm guessing? I have an identical picture of Ana; she would untie herself and come visit me in the tack room, or she would wander off into the nearest stall and eat hay.

Ana likes being pretty but she doesn't like the feeling of having the hair pulled tight; when I first got her, she would get these crazy twitch attacks around her withers; turns out she had little mane hairs trapped under the saddle pad, so now I trim the mane that grows by the withers. When I braid her she keeps stretching her neck out like she's trying to pull the braid looser; kind of like a little girl going "Ouch mommy, the braid is too tight!"


----------



## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- No big deal
> 
> Me too. I'm starting to really see a change now that his abscess is healing and he's been adjusted. He was so full of life today on the lunge line, so I'm excited to ride him tomorrow after he's had his shoe put back on.
> 
> Exactly. For the technical/mechanics they can get much better but they don't get the same compliance or effort or can get that extra expression. They don't go the same for "not mom" vs mom.
> 
> It would! And I really hope so. I think with him feeling better and getting everything back on track he's going to go so much better. His movement has improved so much and he always moves way better undersaddle than on the lungeline, so I'm excited for when we have our new saddle and can have normal lessons and get back on track with progressing. He's such a different horse with the diet change, it's unreal.
> 
> We use iodoform and animalintex but there are a lot of good things that work well!
> https://www.smartpakequine.com/pt/animalintex-614
> 
> Yeah. It really was dumb on whoever did it :-( poor Friday but he seems fine on it, it's just really ugly. He's such a good-sweet boy. He's going to be so happy when he can be an amateur horse.
> 
> He's doing better now and should get his shoe back on, so I think he can really work now! And definitely Pam said the longer she works her PSSM horse the better he goes and the more the muscles loosen up. I notice with Dante he feels so much better after working over his back and doing dressage work (working over his back) vs just lunging around. Work seems to make a pretty big difference in keeping him happy/comfortable which is good right? :lol:
> 
> Exactly! not a bad rider, just need to go back to basics but I dont think her trainer knows the basics well, so she doesn't know the basics well. And I dont know if she'll ever learn them or not. She didn't seem pompous, just did her best with what she knew. That's like one trainer in my area that ruined Comet (still have no idea how she got him to rear) but she is so locked in her hips because she values pretty over effective and rode through PSG but I can't stand her because she's all ego and no skill. She thinks she's better and more important than everyone and acts like she's the only one who does correct dressage and bad mouths everyone in the passive well I don't want to say anything mean but way. Just frustrates me because my trainer and I discussed her yesterday and I was like I don't mean to be nasty but I'm a better rider than she is and it drives me nuts when people are so consumed by ego and bad mouth all the people who ride better/know more than they do and will never get anywhere or improve because they're not open to learning or changing. A person possessed by ego will never gain wisdom or growth.
> 
> It is sad but I'm glad Bailey finds comfort in me and trusts me. That feels good when a horse has been hurt, is emotionally damaged and they cling to you with trust.
> 
> You might have to watch it a few times, it took me a little bit to work it out but practice makes perfect and figuring the technique that works for you.


I bet he feels better having his shoe back on!! Glad he was happy on the lunge yesterday!

No, they sure don't. When Izzie is asked something new from someone who isn't me, she sneers. Literally pulls her lips up in a snarl. She'll get sassy with me, but she doesn't normally sneer like that.

I'm glad his movement is looking better! Yay for the diet change!! I can't wait to hear how he did under saddle!

We used animalintex somewhat. It wasn't the go to choice for the guy I worked with, but he had certain times he'd use it. He knew his way around a foot :lol: worked at the Kentucky Horse Park with the drafts. He would drive them as well as tend to their feet. I'm thankful I learned how to do a hoofpack in case we ever need to do it.

I'll bet! Seems like he's a sweetheart 

It will be a good thing if it keeps him happy! I'm sure he'll be SO glad to get back to work!

Ugh, yeah. That's why I LOVE my best friend. She never wants to stop learning. She's already looking forward to Michigan next year in hopes of learning more new things. She's always open to suggestions with working. I've always preferred an open mind with horses, since none of us know everything. I hope the girl maybe branches out into a clinic ride or something. Sounds like it would be a very valuable experience for her.

That is a good feeling. You're like his lighthouse in a treacherous sea.

I plan to :lol: maybe practice that after my next show and before regionals :lol:

Dante is just so handsome! He's going to head right into that breakroom to join you :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Update from yesterday.

I didn't get home until about 2130 or 930 last night, I was pretty tired lol. I rode 4 horses yesterday. 3 babies (who were all wonderful), Dev took quite a bit to ride because it was when all the horses were going out, so he was looking for a reason to get distracted and screamed for much of the ride. But he was good. Lots of good work, he felt SO SO much more coordinated right then he did the previous ride and he's using his neck so much better. I don't know how to describe his neck other than he has to be shown how to use it, otherwise he naturally wants to suck his neck back and go straight up with it. Friday was a little silly about contact and Saturday was really-really good. The best he's ever been. We did walk-trot on everybody. And they're improving, so that's pretty awesome. We do expect are babies to go on the bit, we dont' force or pressure them (you shouldnt do that anyway) but ride their balance, show them a correct rhythm/tempo and they're there. Helps a lot when they lose focus or want to look. Always mindful of that inside ear. I think riding babies is mostly mindfulness and knowing how to break things down. But they were good.

Dante was like a firebreathing dragon to ride. He was just hot, spooky, and spicy. He's been in work the last few days and I lunged him before I rode because we're bareback and I want him back to warm up before I get on. He hates posting trot bareback. He'll tolerate some but too much and he gets ticked. But he was breathing fire, so hot, tense, and ready to take off for any excuse. It took a LOT to ride him and get him relaxed, through, and listening. I had to ride extra through every corner or I think we'd have some big spooks. After riding him I was like holy **** you're really bouncy (right now I still do quite a bit sitting on the babies because they're so new to trotting undersaddle, they start losing confidence posting and struggle organizing themselves). The babies tell you what they need and what they're ready for. On the whole Dante was really good and we got some good work but my God I was riding and thought if I were any less skilled there is no way I could have ridden him, it took everything I had to keep him relaxed and through. Again note I'm bareback so I can't anchor down when he's like a ticking time bomb ready to detonate. Canter right was gorgeous though. Absolutely the best canter I've ever had on him. So he feels loads better. Left side it took a lot to get him really through in the canter. I think it stems from him left shoulder and it's just going to take time. Have to guide his outside hind some because that helps a lot but it took every "trick" I knew to get him through left canter. Move shoulder in-out, send forward, throw weight over the left seat bone and prop his shoulder up, pet with inside rein, send forward and then he was there. It was a rough ride but I felt like he went well, just took a lot out of me. I was so stunned by how bouncy he is after riding the fancy-big moving-elastic warmbloods. They're super smooth in comparison. That shocked me, he's one that the more he uses his back and the more engaged he gets the bouncier he is. Some get smoother, some get bouncier. The PREs and spanish horses I've known were the same way.

My basic thoughts were how are these baby horses who aren't properly broke are easier to ride than my horse? I'm not complaining or upset, it's just like well thank you Dante for making me a better rider. And riding other horses more regularly put things into perspective when my trainer's say Dante is a professionals ride and I agree but I always say he's not that bad and he's not that bad. You just have to really know what you're doing, what you should be feeling, and expecting to get him through, and correct. It'd be easy to grab his mouth and make him more tense and rocket like vs calming that high energy and getting him relaxed enough to be through. He listened and really was very good, it was just surprising because it was HOT today and he's worked the past few days, I lunged him first and he was just spicy hot like an explosive or projectile missile. 

And Dooley eye swelled shut, so I had to bring him in and help my trainer out with the horse while she was with the vet for him. Poor guy, we were worried he had hit his cranial nerve because his ear was droopy too. I brought him in and he needed a lot of help coming in because he was throwing his head around so much and couldn't see out of that eye it was so swollen. He almost ran into things. He's an 18.2h horse but sweet as they come. Such a good boy. 
______________________________

Wallaby- certainly. Right now we're just going with what we know from Fiyero (he's a wb) and if it doesn't work for Dante we'll definitely change it and adjust accordingly. We know it might not be the same thing but right now we're seeing similarities. Dante does better with more vs less work. I don't know what either specifically has. I know Fiyero (he did have the muscle biopsy adn was diagnosed with PSSM2) does best the more he does and right now it seems to be the same with Dante. Their diets are similar but different. Dante gets some fat which I think has helped him quite a bit. He doesn't get as much as Fiyero but I suspect it is PSSM because his symptoms didnt start showing up until the grass came in and it's REALLY high in sugar and lush and being off the grass/being limited to grass made a BIG difference. But I don't know how much calcium is in the grass, I just know it has a TON of sugar in it. 

But definitely a big thank you for sharing your insight into muscular myopathy. I learn so much every time you post more about it and often times things I had never heard or read before which is really amazing. It's really fascinating stuff! I appreciate the advice and suggestions! The ALCAR I think is making a BIG difference! And ramble on. I love hearing your insight and perspective about this, I learn so much everytime you ramble! So ramble on :lol:
_________________________

Tanja- lol oh Ana. It sounds like she has fun when she gets to!

Okay. So she has sensory issues? :lol: that's okay. I guess you can just modify the braid according to Ana's happiness levels. Or she might light this braid? Who knows.
_________________________

Katie-Definitely! I think he's definitely happier getting his shoe back on!

That's funny! So much sass from your little girl! I have known mares like that, I rode a paint mare like that. She was fine with me eventually and she was fine if you didn't ask much from her but when you really asked for something, then came the sass and she was fine once you worked through it and earned her respect but she could be sassy. Overo chestnut mare.

Yes and I think the ALCAR and diet change in general is helping with his energy and stamina levels. He's been on it for about a week now.

For sure! Knowing how to make a good hoof pack can make a big difference!

And yes Friday is so sweet yesterday he just held his nose up so I could kiss his nose and he'd kiss back with his lip. I really think he'd crawl into my lap if he could. He just wants to be loved. It's funny how they change towards you when you ride/work with them. I'd buy him if I could afford a 2nd horse and I knew for sure he'd stay sound with that ugly leg. He's little but he's a GORGEOUS mover and is super sensitive, he really listens, he's more of a half halt before sending forward. He's quirky and sensitive but in a nice way. He takes after his Mama. Amazing ability to sit, collect. I have no doubt he'd be easy to get to 2nd level within a year. Smart as a whip, sensitive, already built up.

I think Dante is glad to be back in work! I have a lesson on Friday!

Exactly! And to me that mentality is what is going to make someone a great rider if they keep at it vs the people who are so consumed by ego, it gets in the way of everything they do. Ego is a bad drug. It's good to have some pride but not be so consumed that you can't take criticism or can't learn something. Good to stand up for yourself but not be unwilling to learn anything new. It's why that trainer (she's a woman in her 60s) is never going to be a particularly good rider. She's all about looking pretty but not being effect. She has one student, her student was the one who was bad mouthing my riding and my friend's riding. Both of us are leagues ahead of her and she was like I'd half halt and bam-bam and have our young horses all together and I thought oh honey, you do that on my horse or my friends and we'd be fishing you out of the rafters. No concept of tact. That trainer went to a Devon Kane clinic and because Devon told her she was wrong and how to do things differently (in a very nice, Devon way) she bad mouthed and said Devon was the worst clinician she'd ever ridden with and how awful it was, blah, blah, blah and I was like that's why you're not a good rider. She criticizes any clinician that takes her outside her comfort zone and breaks the idea that she's the best and knows everything :icon_rolleyes:

Exactly! And I really hope regionals go well for you and this show this weekend! 
_________________________

Pictures of Dante from yesterday. Him in his fat mask/grazing muzzle. He looked so sad in it but it's better than him being uncomfortable and in pain from the grass putting too much sugar into his system.


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## Rainaisabelle

I love Dante he reminds me of Spirit from the movie !


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## Skyseternalangel

That muzzle makes him look so much more Araby! ****! He's so cute, poor bubs. I'm glad he was your spicy happy dragon though


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## frlsgirl

Glad to hear Dante is feeling better; sometimes you don't really get a diagnosis but just by experimenting with lifestyle changes, you can find a way to manage.

Our horses sure are similar; there are a few references in my journal about riding a fire breathing dragon; it's like sitting on a bomb; you can almost hear the "tick, tick, tick" and you're just waiting for the "KABOOM!" I like how forward she gets because at least with energy I can create other things; when the horse has no energy I can't really do anything else except find a way to create energy. However, riding bareback when that happens...no thank you! Did that a few weeks ago and I thought for sure I was going to die; I've never half halted so much in my life!

And I know what you mean about being thankful that you're horse is so difficult to ride because he's teaching you to be a better rider but you don't really appreciate this until you ride a more "normal" horse and suddenly everything seems so easy and seamless; reminds me of my lessons on Dante the Hanno and Trooper the Morgan, you give them aids and they execute, there is no back talking, they just do it and the Hanno has so many extra buttons installed that I don't even know how to operate yet; like when I was trying to transition from canter to trot and instead got the most beautiful, collected canter. It's such an awesome feeling; his hind legs are like coiled springs; so powerful and graceful at the same time.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie-Definitely! I think he's definitely happier getting his shoe back on!
> 
> That's funny! So much sass from your little girl! I have known mares like that, I rode a paint mare like that. She was fine with me eventually and she was fine if you didn't ask much from her but when you really asked for something, then came the sass and she was fine once you worked through it and earned her respect but she could be sassy. Overo chestnut mare.
> 
> Yes and I think the ALCAR and diet change in general is helping with his energy and stamina levels. He's been on it for about a week now.
> 
> For sure! Knowing how to make a good hoof pack can make a big difference!
> 
> And yes Friday is so sweet yesterday he just held his nose up so I could kiss his nose and he'd kiss back with his lip. I really think he'd crawl into my lap if he could. He just wants to be loved. It's funny how they change towards you when you ride/work with them. I'd buy him if I could afford a 2nd horse and I knew for sure he'd stay sound with that ugly leg. He's little but he's a GORGEOUS mover and is super sensitive, he really listens, he's more of a half halt before sending forward. He's quirky and sensitive but in a nice way. He takes after his Mama. Amazing ability to sit, collect. I have no doubt he'd be easy to get to 2nd level within a year. Smart as a whip, sensitive, already built up.
> 
> I think Dante is glad to be back in work! I have a lesson on Friday!
> 
> Exactly! And to me that mentality is what is going to make someone a great rider if they keep at it vs the people who are so consumed by ego, it gets in the way of everything they do. Ego is a bad drug. It's good to have some pride but not be so consumed that you can't take criticism or can't learn something. Good to stand up for yourself but not be unwilling to learn anything new. It's why that trainer (she's a woman in her 60s) is never going to be a particularly good rider. She's all about looking pretty but not being effect. She has one student, her student was the one who was bad mouthing my riding and my friend's riding. Both of us are leagues ahead of her and she was like I'd half halt and bam-bam and have our young horses all together and I thought oh honey, you do that on my horse or my friends and we'd be fishing you out of the rafters. No concept of tact. That trainer went to a Devon Kane clinic and because Devon told her she was wrong and how to do things differently (in a very nice, Devon way) she bad mouthed and said Devon was the worst clinician she'd ever ridden with and how awful it was, blah, blah, blah and I was like that's why you're not a good rider. She criticizes any clinician that takes her outside her comfort zone and breaks the idea that she's the best and knows everything :icon_rolleyes:
> 
> Exactly! And I really hope regionals go well for you and this show this weekend!


Great news!

The sass can make them fun :lol: and frustrating haha! And beware the red headed mares :lol: Least once they are on your side they work well with you.

Awesome! Hope he continues feeling good!

It sure does!

He sounds like an awesome boy. Too bad I can't have a second horse :lol: hopefully he will stay sound. He sounds like he loves having a job, and just wants to be someone's favorite thing ever. Hopefully he gets his special person.

Yay for a lesson!! I hope it goes well!

Yup! That's why I love and respect her. She wants to learn. She isn't just going to bury her head in the sand and pretend she is the best. Shame people will talk so much crap against someone who was trying to teach them to not suck at riding. Sounds like she needs to pick something other than horses to play with :/

Thanks! Me too!

Sounds like you had an interesting ride last night! Gotta love climbing on and feeling that ticking time bomb sensation :lol: I've said that about Izzie numerous times before heading into the ring. Blair just says "the best ones always feel that way!" It's quite the sensation to get used to :lol: just wait until you hit the ring with that feeling. You'll know you're about to have the best ride ever


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## DanteDressageNerd

Raina- thank you. We keep saying he looks like Spirit, same personality too. I sometimes wonder if I should have named him Spirit but I think Dante suits him.
_____________________

Maggie- Yeah. I was in the field near him muzzle hunting for a different horse and he kept walking the fence near where I was and was like uh mom, I dont know if you know this but you forgot something and just a hint, it's on my face. Mom this isn't fair. I'm happy he's happier and so full of energy and life. It was nice. But he definitely looks more arab-y in it 
_____________________

Tanja- they certainly are. Smart, sensitive ponies. They have their moments! That's for sure. And no bareback it's not super fun, just have to have a really strong core, seat and leg because you can't really touch his mouth or he sucks backs, tenses and it's bad. You can some but very lightly.

Certainly there are moments where it's frustrating because progress is slow because you have a lot of other issues to deal with, part of Dante's is conformation and not being built for dressage but you definitely learn a lot and when you get on something else, even unbroke babies they're WAY easier to ride and organize then your own horse. It's definitely a pleasure when you ride something else and I'm really glad you're doing so well with Trooper and your barn's Dante. It's very eye opening when you get to sit on something else after becoming so used to your own.
____________________ 

Katie- That is so true about chestnut mares, every single one I've ridden had been so sassy. Fun and frustrating is a good way to describe it!

He really is. I love Friday, even with that ugly leg so I know he'd be cheaper but out of my budget for sure and I don't know if he could handle heavy work but I think he'd go up the levels easily if he could stay sound. He's built for it, it comes naturally and when you have a horse like that you're several major steps ahead of the game. The stuff I've been working on for a year+ with Dante these horses already have naturally. You still have to ride it but purpose bred vs other horses puts your a year or two in advance training wise, I think. I don't know how to describe it. They need the basics and things but they already have the sit, natural suspension and cadence. It needs to be trained but it's already there vs creating the movement which is hard.

I don't get that particular trainer. She's so nice but fake nice to your face and exactly buries her head in the sand and only wants to hear what she wants to hear and bashes anyone who tries to help her. She's ridden through PSG and she's not an awful rider. She's way better than a lot but for the upper levels isn't going to go anywhere because she has so many holes. She's solid to 3rd level but falls apart past that. For example and not to be boastful but I'm probably 35yrs younger than her with years less experience but I'm a better rider. My trainer agreed and I didn't mean it to be boastful but as an example of when you open yourself up to learn vs putting your face in the sand and rejecting all help to get better. She'd be really good if she'd just let herself be taught and accept she's not perfect. And it's great that Blair and you and everyone opens themselves up to learn, it makes such a big difference!

I'm excited about a lesson too. I'm ready to get back on track and actually progress. Maybe we won't for a while. I don't know but it's good to feel like we're back on track and going somewhere. I dont' mean to sound overly ambitious but I'm ready to go somewhere. I've been trying for 9yrs, I know with him he's going to be slow to take up the levels but I'm tired of getting a horse going where they're ready to do the fun stuff and start over again. And Dante I know is going to be very underwhelming at the lower levels, I think once we're 3rd+ is when he's going to come into his own or at least that's what Devon and Mari have said. 

I'm not sure it was a good feeling because it wasn't just energy or quirkiness, it was like he was tense, anxious and nervous and everywhere at once vs productive energy. It was more like my aids had to be so spot on or he'd literally have taken off with me, tense, braced, and spooking at everything vs being relaxed and through. I know at our last show he felt like a time bomb and it was the whole outside of the arena having him in shoulder in or he was taking off side ways and everywhere at once. I feel like with those rides I gain a lot more skill and tact but it's one of those things where I'm glad I'm improving but I'm worried he'll turn into Sporty where some days we'd school 3rd level easily and other days it was like we barely had baby basics and could barely steer. And I'm ready to actually start going up the levels. It gets frustrating when it feels like you're at a dead end all the time and I'm ambitious, I'm fair to Dante and don't get consumed by ambition but I do want to ride him PSG and earn my bronze and silver medal and I hope it's with him. 4 years ago my trainer said she thought it'd be easy to get me going 4th level competently with a horse that was there and I just want to do it, I want to make it. I hate saying that it makes me sound IDK like a brat but I want to do it, I want a chance.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- That is so true about chestnut mares, every single one I've ridden had been so sassy. Fun and frustrating is a good way to describe it!
> 
> He really is. I love Friday, even with that ugly leg so I know he'd be cheaper but out of my budget for sure and I don't know if he could handle heavy work but I think he'd go up the levels easily if he could stay sound. He's built for it, it comes naturally and when you have a horse like that you're several major steps ahead of the game. The stuff I've been working on for a year+ with Dante these horses already have naturally. You still have to ride it but purpose bred vs other horses puts your a year or two in advance training wise, I think. I don't know how to describe it. They need the basics and things but they already have the sit, natural suspension and cadence. It needs to be trained but it's already there vs creating the movement which is hard.
> 
> I don't get that particular trainer. She's so nice but fake nice to your face and exactly buries her head in the sand and only wants to hear what she wants to hear and bashes anyone who tries to help her. She's ridden through PSG and she's not an awful rider. She's way better than a lot but for the upper levels isn't going to go anywhere because she has so many holes. She's solid to 3rd level but falls apart past that. For example and not to be boastful but I'm probably 35yrs younger than her with years less experience but I'm a better rider. My trainer agreed and I didn't mean it to be boastful but as an example of when you open yourself up to learn vs putting your face in the sand and rejecting all help to get better. She'd be really good if she'd just let herself be taught and accept she's not perfect. And it's great that Blair and you and everyone opens themselves up to learn, it makes such a big difference!
> 
> I'm excited about a lesson too. I'm ready to get back on track and actually progress. Maybe we won't for a while. I don't know but it's good to feel like we're back on track and going somewhere. I dont' mean to sound overly ambitious but I'm ready to go somewhere. I've been trying for 9yrs, I know with him he's going to be slow to take up the levels but I'm tired of getting a horse going where they're ready to do the fun stuff and start over again. And Dante I know is going to be very underwhelming at the lower levels, I think once we're 3rd+ is when he's going to come into his own or at least that's what Devon and Mari have said.
> 
> I'm not sure it was a good feeling because it wasn't just energy or quirkiness, it was like he was tense, anxious and nervous and everywhere at once vs productive energy. It was more like my aids had to be so spot on or he'd literally have taken off with me, tense, braced, and spooking at everything vs being relaxed and through. I know at our last show he felt like a time bomb and it was the whole outside of the arena having him in shoulder in or he was taking off side ways and everywhere at once. I feel like with those rides I gain a lot more skill and tact but it's one of those things where I'm glad I'm improving but I'm worried he'll turn into Sporty where some days we'd school 3rd level easily and other days it was like we barely had baby basics and could barely steer. And I'm ready to actually start going up the levels. It gets frustrating when it feels like you're at a dead end all the time and I'm ambitious, I'm fair to Dante and don't get consumed by ambition but I do want to ride him PSG and earn my bronze and silver medal and I hope it's with him. 4 years ago my trainer said she thought it'd be easy to get me going 4th level competently with a horse that was there and I just want to do it, I want to make it. I hate saying that it makes me sound IDK like a brat but I want to do it, I want a chance.


It sure is :lol:

I totally understand and I also know exactly how you feel :lol: working how we expect Izzie and Dante to work doesn't come natural to them at all. So it takes a lot of effort and a lot of knowledge on our end to get them there as opposed to someone who had a discipline specific horse bred. Hopefully he does stay sound on it and makes someone extremely happy!

I hate the people who fake nice to your face :/ and such a shame. People should always be striving to be better. I'd take weekly lessons if I could afford it. Heck, I wish I could afford them more than like once a month. But right now I can't. Means we'll be stagnant here and there, but such is the way of life. Will just make what I do know how to do perfect :lol: and thankfully Maggy gives me A LOT to work on when I leave. Shame she doesn't want to open up like that and take fair instruction.

I think he'll totally rock when he gets higher! It'll happen. I know it will. I know the feeling of constantly starting over, and it sucks. These are supposed to be our "until the end" horses. I'm sure of it.

Ah, yeah, there are moments it isn't all that great. I guess it's a different feeling? Still feel like I'm sitting on a ticking time bomb, but I know if I'm dead on with my aids, she will be dead on with her answers. And it makes for an intense, fun ride. Not the "this horse is going to take off with me if I breathe wrong." Glad you got him settled down. I doubt he'll be like Sporty. I'm sure he's just feeling good and he has A LOT of pent up energy. You all were doing A LOT more than just walk and trot with light canter before this all happened. My guess is he needs to settle back into real work. I have faith you'll earn them on him :lol: and not bratty, or I'd feel like a brat for wanting the same thing :lol: I've never in my life shown Second. The thought I could be showing it by the end of next year is a bit unreal to me. I know you'll get your chance!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Exactly! It's hard on them and requires them to be more trained to be at the same point as something it comes more naturally to. It doesn't always mean they can but it doesn't mean they can't either. But I think Friday will be great for the right person and will make someone very happy 

I cant' stand it either. I understand it now, when I was young I didn't understand it at all. It just left me confused and conflicted because I couldn't interpret it but she is where she is and stagnant in her riding and education because she wont take/accept fair/reasonable instruction. She'd rather think herself a know it all and superior. And exactly but your open to learning and looking for the opportunities you can when you have them, rather than having all the opportunities and not taking them. 

I really wish Dante was an "until the end horse" I have no doubts Izzy will be, she's a pretty spectacular mare but this is the end of the road with Dante. I can feel it. I've been struggling/resisting this idea for a while but today I just feel like Dante was telling me he can't do it and it crushed me because he felt like he was really trying and meant well but just couldn't do it.

And yeah when they're hot but on the money and just more reactive and ready to go, THAT is great! That is good but definitely the breathe wrong, make a tiny mistake and being ran off with or bracing isn't. You learn a lot but it's very unproductive and not what I want to ride all the time. Today he wasn't like that at all and I'm hoping that outburst is rare, especially because I want to find him a good home. I'm glad he's not naughty like he was and I'm glad he's grown up SO SO SO much and you can do things with him now that you couldn't before and he's better about contact, etc but we'll see how it goes when I do try to sell him. And no you should be really pleased with the progress you've made with Izzy and the idea of moving up and doing more than you ever anticipated that is big and I'm really happy for you guys! I hope to be there too when I get my next horse going. And no you're definitely not bratty to me, I just don't always know how things come across so I feel like my "whining" or venting is coming out as "bratty" or "ungrateful." In life I don't complain a whole lot, just this is kinda my space to speak my peace I guess :lol:

______________________

In other news. I wasn't going to post it but I made the decision today that it's time to sell Dante and find him a new home. I rode him today and it was just clear to me, he can't do this and it's not fair to expect him to be able to go up the levels with his issues. I lunged him first because we're bareback and he was very sluggish, reluctant to move forward. I rode him and it literally took everything I had in me to walk and trot around the arena and on a 20m circle to keep him through and correct. Literally that is all I asked for and it took everything I have. I didn't feel Dante was mentally resisting or he didn't want to, I felt like he was just really struggling and it's not fair. Our lesson was very short, he felt like he was telling me he can't do it and I wont force a horse to work, especially a horse who has been as willing as Dante has.

Even if he tests positive for lyme disease which in all honestly I'm praying and hoping he does because then we can treat him for it and find him a more suitable home. It's not fair to me or to him. I don't have the money to keep a horse as a pet and I don't think it's that Dante mentally cant do it but I feel his body isn't letting him and it's not fair to put those kind of expectations on a horse who can't. 

In other news rode the babies today and they were REALLY REALLY good. Dev I rode around the arena off the lunge line and he was awesome!! That's the other thing these babies arent broke but I have no problem riding them walk-trot and through. It shouldn't be that hard to ride walk, trot, canter and through to the degree we and quality we want but if he can't do it, he can't do it.

Dante isn't going for sale right now, I don't know when but I accepted this outcome today. Spoke with my trainer who has spoken with my other trainer and we made unanimous decision that this is for the best. Both my trainers thought this was probably going to happen and I wanted to believe. I'm trying to work out what else he could do for a job and be happy doing. He's not a western horse, I was told that when I bought him but he might be happy as a hunter over fences (as a half arab), maybe some low level eventing or pony club horse. Dante likes to jump (I would not be training him for this). I'm thinking of having the one trainer who does hunters to put in a few rides on him or someone competent who can train a horse over fences. He's matured a lot mentally, he hasn't pulled any naughty antic in a while, he was really hot-spicy the other day but I think a competent pony clubber could ride him, they maybe wouldn't get him calm, relaxed and through but wouldn't get hurt or hurt him and treat him well and spoil him.


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## Rainaisabelle

Aw Cassie :/ I'm a bit sad but atleast you're doing what you think is right for him


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## Tihannah

:-( I'm so sorry, Cassie. I know you've fought so hard to make him better, but maybe this will work out for both of you in the end.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you Raina and Tina. It is sad. I'm honestly pretty upset. Sometimes I'm okay and have accepted it but other times I get really frustrated or want to cry. I woke up at 0330 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. Worked in the morning. I'm upset but there isn't much that can be done about it, just gotta take the next step forward and hope it all works out.

Today's ride was definitely better than yesterday but he takes so much to keep him going. I dont even bother much with anything but walk, trot, canter. And every opportunity he gets he just doesn't want to. I feel like he just doesnt want to do it but he's a good boy about it. No naughty antics or personality or sass, he's just blah. I was pretty frustrated, I didn't pull back on him and was pretty good at curving my frustration but after riding I was just frustrated. He was so dead to the leg, he was actually miserable to ride. I HATE riding a horse that ignores your leg, I didn't have a whip, spurs or anything but just miserable. I didn't enjoy riding him at all. There was no fighting, tension or hostility. He just felt so unmotivated and dull, like I had to work my *** off to get what I did out of him and he just didn't care enough to try. 

And in general I'm really frustrated. I really wanted things with Dante to work out but you can't make things happen that aren't meant to be. I'm grateful for all the things I've learned from Dante, he has definitely made me a better rider but I'm ready to move onto something else. I think I learned what I was meant to learn and hopefully Dante will be a good horse for someone else. I'm really glad he's grown up as much as he has because that will make him a lot more marketable and ridable for someone. 

I'm not advertising him yet. I'm going to see about his lyme results and his saddle to come in before I advertise. I tried to cancel the saddle order but it's too late. And I want a more consistent idea of what he's like now, so I can market him and advertise him appropriately. I have no idea what to ask for him. None. I like to be realistic. I have no clue of the arabian sport horse market or what they're going for but I do want him to start some jumping training to make him more versatile and maybe he'll be happier doing that or being a low level eventer or hunter or pony club horse or arabian sport horse/hunter vs a dressage horse. Those should be less intense and he should hopefully be happy doing that stuff.

I'm not horse shopping until Dante is sold. My trainer asked if I'd be interested in one of her 3yr olds who isn't broke and I'm definitely interested. I'd love to buy her if circumstances allow it to happen but I'm not expecting it to work out. Too many "ifs" in that equation and I don't want to get my hopes up, just to have them crushed when/if it doesn't work out. She's a really nice filly and I like her a lot. Like today she laid her head in my arms and let me kiss her nose and the other day one of the guys couldn't get her from the field. So he got a bucket of grain and some treats and couldn't catch her. I walk in, she comes right up to me and let me put the halter on her. And he was like she loves you and I said I don't know about that, I think she just trusts me. She should mature 16.1-2h so not huge but not little. When I do seriously horse shop I will be looking at warmblood mares and fillies over 16 and under 6 but over 3. I might talk to a friend of mine and see what they have for sale. They sell trakehners.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Exactly! It's hard on them and requires them to be more trained to be at the same point as something it comes more naturally to. It doesn't always mean they can but it doesn't mean they can't either. But I think Friday will be great for the right person and will make someone very happy
> 
> I cant' stand it either. I understand it now, when I was young I didn't understand it at all. It just left me confused and conflicted because I couldn't interpret it but she is where she is and stagnant in her riding and education because she wont take/accept fair/reasonable instruction. She'd rather think herself a know it all and superior. And exactly but your open to learning and looking for the opportunities you can when you have them, rather than having all the opportunities and not taking them.
> 
> I really wish Dante was an "until the end horse" I have no doubts Izzy will be, she's a pretty spectacular mare but this is the end of the road with Dante. I can feel it. I've been struggling/resisting this idea for a while but today I just feel like Dante was telling me he can't do it and it crushed me because he felt like he was really trying and meant well but just couldn't do it.
> 
> And yeah when they're hot but on the money and just more reactive and ready to go, THAT is great! That is good but definitely the breathe wrong, make a tiny mistake and being ran off with or bracing isn't. You learn a lot but it's very unproductive and not what I want to ride all the time. Today he wasn't like that at all and I'm hoping that outburst is rare, especially because I want to find him a good home. I'm glad he's not naughty like he was and I'm glad he's grown up SO SO SO much and you can do things with him now that you couldn't before and he's better about contact, etc but we'll see how it goes when I do try to sell him. And no you should be really pleased with the progress you've made with Izzy and the idea of moving up and doing more than you ever anticipated that is big and I'm really happy for you guys! I hope to be there too when I get my next horse going. And no you're definitely not bratty to me, I just don't always know how things come across so I feel like my "whining" or venting is coming out as "bratty" or "ungrateful." In life I don't complain a whole lot, just this is kinda my space to speak my peace I guess :lol:
> 
> ______________________
> 
> In other news. I wasn't going to post it but I made the decision today that it's time to sell Dante and find him a new home. I rode him today and it was just clear to me, he can't do this and it's not fair to expect him to be able to go up the levels with his issues. I lunged him first because we're bareback and he was very sluggish, reluctant to move forward. I rode him and it literally took everything I had in me to walk and trot around the arena and on a 20m circle to keep him through and correct. Literally that is all I asked for and it took everything I have. I didn't feel Dante was mentally resisting or he didn't want to, I felt like he was just really struggling and it's not fair. Our lesson was very short, he felt like he was telling me he can't do it and I wont force a horse to work, especially a horse who has been as willing as Dante has.
> 
> Even if he tests positive for lyme disease which in all honestly I'm praying and hoping he does because then we can treat him for it and find him a more suitable home. It's not fair to me or to him. I don't have the money to keep a horse as a pet and I don't think it's that Dante mentally cant do it but I feel his body isn't letting him and it's not fair to put those kind of expectations on a horse who can't.
> 
> In other news rode the babies today and they were REALLY REALLY good. Dev I rode around the arena off the lunge line and he was awesome!! That's the other thing these babies arent broke but I have no problem riding them walk-trot and through. It shouldn't be that hard to ride walk, trot, canter and through to the degree we and quality we want but if he can't do it, he can't do it.
> 
> Dante isn't going for sale right now, I don't know when but I accepted this outcome today. Spoke with my trainer who has spoken with my other trainer and we made unanimous decision that this is for the best. Both my trainers thought this was probably going to happen and I wanted to believe. I'm trying to work out what else he could do for a job and be happy doing. He's not a western horse, I was told that when I bought him but he might be happy as a hunter over fences (as a half arab), maybe some low level eventing or pony club horse. Dante likes to jump (I would not be training him for this). I'm thinking of having the one trainer who does hunters to put in a few rides on him or someone competent who can train a horse over fences. He's matured a lot mentally, he hasn't pulled any naughty antic in a while, he was really hot-spicy the other day but I think a competent pony clubber could ride him, they maybe wouldn't get him calm, relaxed and through but wouldn't get hurt or hurt him and treat him well and spoil him.


Yup, just takes a lot more work and correct riding. Makes it harder when you don't properly ride them in a show too. Oh well. Turns you into a better rider. And I'm sure he will be!

People like that will never accept it. It's a sad reality really. And yeah, the good riders work to improve, not just feel they are SO amazing all the time. That's why I like training with a trainer that also receives instruction. I just feel it is so important!

I wish he was too  Izzie is kind of stuck with us lol if she decided not to like Dressage, we would just do what she wanted until I could afford one that wanted to do Dressage. After 5 years, she's family. That is devastating 

It really is great :lol: just flat out fun. But no, the breathe wrong type are just too much work for me to deal with. Izzie gets "game" but never a dangerous hot. Hopefully that kind of outburst is rare. I'm sure you'll find him a great home. You'll get there too, I know you will. I feel ridiculous for being so excited to move up, but I really am :lol: I also don't feel it's coming off ungrateful or bratty, trust me. Just pent up frustration. I totally understand. I rode for years and never got to show past First since I'd lease a new horse year after year. No opportunity to keep moving up in showing. So, Izzie and I will head into a lot of firsts when we start showing Second Level. And yes, this is totally your place! You're allowed to do whatever you want!!

I am super sorry to hear about it all though  I'm sure between me and Blair we can help you if you want to market him into the Arabian industry. Too bad he isn't a Kentucky bred half Arab. Would open him up to being wanted by one of the incentive fund members (or someone interested in joining). And that is strange he's suddenly dead to your leg. That to me raises some question marks :/


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## DanteDressageNerd

It really does. It shapes you up when you have to be correct and do the correct work or your horse looks plain or unimpressive and can't compete against the much nicer movers which does count as part of the marks. A 10 mover is going to get better marks then a 6 or 7 mover but there are places where you can make up points. And it does make you better. That's for sure!

No. And the trainer she works with basically just tells her everything she wants to hear and is honestly useless. I took a few lessons with her and she honestly had me ride worse because she couldnt teach and I talked back to her because she was flat out wrong. But she is one of those was supposedly an FEI rider but has no proof that I know of and doesn't ride anymore due to an injury. Go figure right? And absolutely. Everyone stand to learn something from someone competent. Pam takes lessons from Devon, who takes lessons from Hubertus Schmidt. 

After 5yrs and your kids and husband being attached to her, I can definitely see that. She's a good family horse and dressage partner which is really neat! I wish he was too but I feel like he's telling me this isnt what he wants to do. It's not worth trying to push on.

Yes, exactly. All the time it's just like your trying to release their anxiety and have to be so on top of it, if you're not mindful it can make you tense. And you should be excited! That's a really big thing and I'm glad it's all going well for you and Izzy! That's been my dream for a long time, for one reason or another it hasn't worked out in the last 9yrs but I'm hoping it will if I persevere. 

Thanks for the support. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. I think I will promote him in the arabian industry and I want to learn the ropes, so Dante gets to be in a place where he'll be happy. I'm emotionally fine then not fine but these horses become like our kids and we love them so much. We have hopes and dreams and have to let them go. Will they find a good home? Will they be well looked after? Will he be happy? I can't look at his pictures without crying which I know is pathetic but he's still my baby and I can't cry in front of people, so I always wait until I'm alone. I dont want anyone to see me break down or fall apart and be told how weak and pathetic I am and how I need to get it together and tough it out. No one respects a crying woman. It show vulnerability, sensitivity and weakness. To me it's human, to most it's weakness.

And it does. He's never been that dull before *shrugs* it's really hot out but we have good ventilation and fans going. He's out at night and is under a fan in his stall.

Got into an argument with my parents who honestly do not like that I own a horse and see it as a waste of my life. So that was fun. I see it as horses and riding is honestly the reason I get up in the morning and feel motivation at all and I don't get why they want to kill that. They're supportive in a way but at the same time anti horse and consider it a disgusting waste of resources. Won't get into that, just it's my money and I was trying to let them in to know what is going on and just got a HUGE lecture and beat down about how I'm ruining my life, wasting my time and should be applying myself towards something more productive and saving more, so I can live how they want me to. I sound like such a child but it doesn't matter, your parents still have an affect on you but then they wonder why I don't open up or talk to them much. And I'm kinda like what is there to say? They said I should get a boyfriend instead of a horse because it's cheaper and more productive. And that sent me over the edge because then they were like you make poor choices in men and horses, why waste your money on another horse that will just be a bust like the rest. I honestly can take a lot but when it's my parents basically repeating back to me my fears and general anxieties that really hurts. Because I've worked really hard to fight those thoughts and that stuff that sends me into a downward spiral. I have a hard time believing anything will work out and at least I know why those thoughts repeat in my head all the time. They're good parents and good people, they just dont like how I dedicate myself to the horses. They resent that's my passion. Why cant you do something cheaper.


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## Rainaisabelle

Sending all my hugs and love. My parents are the same they don't like that I own a horse and don't want me to have one and constantly talk about it!


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## whisperbaby22

Most of us have parents that are difficult. I think it is more likely than those lucky ones who truly have a great relationship with them. I think you have to try to keep in mind what is good about the relationship and let the rest go. I have learned to do that, and it makes my life a lot easier. I had to realize that they were not evil, just flawed. "Living well is the best revenge" is an old saying, and that does help me. Rather than dwell on the past, I revel in living well. I was able to get ahead financially, and not get caught up in the negativity that seems to cover these people like a blanket. If you truly have some good feelings about your parents, be glad and concentrate on that.


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## Tazzie

Well, even the movement scores vary from judge to judge. Judge in Michigan gave us an 8 with a "'9' trot" in the comments. Yesterday, we got a 7. Just interesting since I kind of felt we went better yesterday, but such is life. We just need to be a lot more correct in other aspects, as you said  it's very rewarding to succeed though!

Ugh, gotta love when they spout off all these wins, but nothing to back it up and play up an "injury" as to why they can't prove it now. Gotta love sketchy people like that. She sounds like a terrible trainer, and not one to lesson with again :/

Yeah, I'm thankful she fits in so well  and yeah, I'd listen to him :/ gotta make him happy!

Yup, that's how it is. I'm excited to start breaking into something new! And I know you'll get there. It sucks to start over again, but I know you'll get there!

Anytime  I'm always here to help! I think it's a good call to advertise him there. There are A TON of Arabian sale pages on Facebook too. A lot of them. And I get that. You just really have to hope for the best. And honestly, I don't see it as a weakness at all. It's heartbreaking really. It's not going to be easy at all.

Well, even if it's hot, I can't imagine they get that dull. Izzie gets ****y when it's hot, not dull.

And that really sucks. Kind of uncalled for really. Yeah, horses are expensive. You could live a very padded life without them. But you'd be super unhappy. Just isn't worth it. That's just wrong they were saying the next one will be a bust too. Just so very wrong! I'm sorry


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## Dehda01

Did the vet pull vitamin E and selenium levels on him when the muscle soreness showed up?

Particularly with his history of EPM, EDM is also right on top of similar diseases and we normally want to be amount up vitamin E dosages and making sure they are getting enough selenium as well. Most vets recommend 5000-10000 IU natural vitamin E daily for EPM horses.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Dehda- Thank you for the suggestion. I'd be surprised if he had a vit. E and selenium deficiency. It's possible but he's on a high quality ration balancer and a multi vitamin (which I've taken him off of and switched to a vitamin E/selenium supplement) by smartpaks suggestions but I didn't choose their supplement. The changes are new but I'd be surprised if that were it. He's also on electrolytes for summer. It doesn't mean it's not part of it and it may be the reason but I didn't get blood pulled for that.

GRO 'N WIN Ration Balancer
_________________

Raina- Thank you *hugs back* I think it's really common in the horse world to have parents who just don't get why we'd spend what we do on them or why they're such an intimate part of our lives. They don't understand the joy of building a partnership with an animal 10 times your size and accomplishing goals small or big. It gives a sense of purpose and belonging IMO. And it's also very grounding and centering, I think. Horses are great for people and it's a shame more people don't realize what a blessing it is to have horses in your life. I hope your parents will come to accept your passion. It's not easy not to have family support. I thank God I have it for the most part.
____________________________

whisperbaby22- that is really good advice! To let go and focus on the good over the bad. Living well really is the best form of revenge. And don't get me wrong I love my parents dearly and they do a lot of really good things. They are really good parents but I think it was really unnecessary to describe my life choices as failures and saying I shouldnt waste my time or energy because horses are a dead end anyway and Dante didn't make it, so why should I bother with another horse who wont make it because all my choices end in dead end, etc and I felt it was really unnecessary to bring up my bad relationship choices. I felt that was really unfair. I mean fine express your concerns, express your opinion and tell me you disagree, why, etc. That's fine but the way I see it is we all face plenty of adversity and struggles in life, why must we have that with our family too? I just didn't need that, I can deal with it fine but that doesn't mean it doesn't cut. They kinda apologized in a way today about it. They mean well. I know that, just I don't know. I have a few sore spots and a lot of self doubt and didn't need to hear it from them. People I respect and admire.
____________________________

Katie- That is very true. I generally trust recognized over schooling. But if a judge has a clear biased, I take those with a grain of salt and if they clearly don't know what they're doing, I just dont count them at all. It's all subjective. And it is rewarding to feel like your hard work has mattered and get credit for it.

She wasn't a good trainer and very full of herself and that her way was the only right way. 

You should be  it's exciting when a horse pulls through and end up loving it too. 

I'm sad to be "starting over" but after riding Dante today I really feel like the right thing is to find him a new home. I don't think he has what it takes for the upper levels, mentally I don't think that's what he wants to do. I think he'd be happier with someone who wants to play around on him and jump and do some dressage and do something else. I rode him today and played around. Did some role backs and jumped over cavaletti, he was really good over the cavaletti. We made our distance almost every time, one time he went long but that was my fault. And he's good. You just give him a pace and he can find his own distance which to me is a big deal because I used to be an eventer, so I think he might like being a low level eventer or hunter or jumper or just having a different job. He never backs out or tries to duck out, he feels game to me and he's been really careful. Even at the walk he didn't touch the cavaletti once. Then we did dressage and he had a real wake up call about zoning out and ignoring my aids. I picked up the whip and instantly he remembered. We worked more on just getting him past the mental block and he worked hard. He didn't feel stiff, he felt normal but we had a discussion about working into the outside rein, working into the bridle and carrying himself and working into the outside rein, proper bend and laterals. In all honesty it wasn't a pretty/elegant ride but I feel it was an important one. We did some simple changes which were good and walk to canters because if he's going to jump that's pretty necessary and I'll probably need to put a change on him but I'm not into rushing that. It was hot but our barn stays really cool. At least 10 degree cooler inside than outside. I also put someone else on him, she couldn't get him through (she's a good rider) but she did well on him and I feel really confident about putting other people on him now which is HUGE. I think I'm going to ask Pam if once his saddle comes in about putting different people on him to get him used to having different riders and hopefully that will help.

But for dressage, he seems pretty apathetic and to me that says it's over. You can do a lot with a conformationally compromised horse but only if they want to do it and love their job. If they don't you can't make them and you can't push them to do it. Or I guess you can but I don't enjoy dressage when it feels like it's not a joint effort. I like the partnership and team building and the communication, not here do this because you have to. I don't enjoy it when I feel like I'm making them do it vs they want to do it. I'm going to talk to Mari about taking some jumping lessons and maybe her bringing a saddle out. I'd prefer not to jump train him, I don't feel competent for that but I feel like he should have some jumping training. I might ask about hauling him to a jumping stable and having their riders put some rides on him. I think he'd be a LOT easier to fit to a jumping saddle than a dressage saddle.

But definitely! You added me the arabian group and I'm going to advertise him once I get my saddle and make a sales video. So about 2-3 weeks to figure out his pattern, so I can appropriately market him. And I am. I really kinda want a teenager who wants to event or do pony club to get him, I think he'd love being a teens event horse. Last year he didn't seem keen about jumping, this year he seems to really like it but not in a take off at the fences way but in a goes down the line nicely, keeps rhythm, and listens, so maybe he'd like that. But definitely the arabian, half arabian market will be our main market. And it is heart breaking. I'm really sad/disapointed. I love him and I know there are going to be more tears but after the last few rides, I honestly feel like this is for the best and I'm making the right choice. I think he needs a new job.

I don't know what it is that he was so dull, he tried that today but then I picked up the whip and he remembered, then I laid it back down and he was apathetic and I picked it up and he was like I got it, I got it. I don't know. Maybe he was acclimating to the weather because it hadn't been this hot until this week and now he's better? or the other day he had a day off? It definitely seems the more he does. The better he goes. But I don't know that-that's an exact pattern atm.

I entirely agree with you. It was uncalled for/unfair which if it's anybody, okay whatever but from family/parents I'm more like come on let's be honest but at least be decent and not demeaning. Yeah saying I make bad choices and the next horse would be a bust was really uncalled for and unnecessary and dragging in failed relationships/dating to illustrate how poor my judgment is was uncalled for. But you are ABSOLUTE correct on that entire assessment. Without horses yes we could have more material wealth and have more things but it leaves us with an empty, hollowed life. And that was my argument is the horses give me a purpose in life and though they may not understand it, that's what drives me to get up every morning and to work hard and keep trying. In all honesty, I probably wont have a family but you know I'll have a horse. They're from German families and were poor for a long time, the extent of frugality my friends who is from Taiwan says is cheapness level asian :lol:


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## Dehda01

I have my horses on TC 30% and still supplement Vitamin E. The TC ONLY HAS 1000IU/lb. which is sufficient for maintenance, but WAY LOW if he had a deficiency and a motor neuron disease like EPM OR EDM. Most vitamin supplements are low- vitamin E is EXPENSIVE. AND ideally it should be natural E. Natural E is absorbed in a much different way. Unless a horse is on quality grass, they need to be on a vitamin e supplement nearly everywhere in the US. 

PLUS VITAMIN E is required for the absorption of selenium- which if he doesn't have the pathway for is deficient for will make him VERY SORE. And most parts of the country are deficient.


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## DanteDressageNerd

He's on a grass pasture which is quite lush (I don't know the analysis on that) but he's wearing a grazing muzzle, so he's not consuming as much of it because he seemed to get worse when he was free range and symptoms lessened when he was on the dry lot and then on the grazing muzzle.

This is the supplement I switched him to. Aside from this I don't know what a good source of vitamin E would be or a better source. I'm all for putting him on a vitamin E supplement if it helps and that may be the source of his problems. I don't know for sure that it is but if the deficiency is so common, I can't imagine it hurts to try it and see if it helps him. I know Vitamin E and selenium are both fat soluble but I was told you don't want to feed selenium in excess but I remember my vet saying Vitamin E and selenium deficiencies are extremely common.

https://www.smartpakequine.com/ps/vitamin-e-and-selenium-56


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## Wallaby

In case you're not sure where to go if you wanted to supplement Vitamin E, I get this one for Fabio:

UltraCruz® Equine Natural Vitamin E Supplement for Horses | Santa Cruz Animal Health

It has to be natural vitamin E [d-alpha, not dl-alpha] for it to be processed well by horses. This particular brand is the best deal out there for natural E - the highest iu per dollar. 8,000iu/day is right where you want to be to correct any issues. And vitamin e is hard to overdose on, so at least that really isn't a concern.

You could start with the 30 day supply since you'll see a quick turnaround if E is the issue.

Edit: you definitely don't want to over do selenium, that's why it's a good idea to get a supplement that's just Vitamin E - in this particular sort of situation. 
As for that supplement from SmartPak, the vitamin E is synthetic [dl-alpha] and Dante's body won't be able to absorb it readily. Plus, 1,250iu/day is not a lot for horses with muscle issues.
Fabio is on 4,000iu/day and I'm not even sure it's helping anything...but who knows. haha On the plus side, he looks magnificent, thanks to all that vitamin E! :lol:


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## Dehda01

I like Kentucky Performance Products natural E. Elevate WS is an amazing product and I have seen miracles occur because of it. Once the horse is doing better, we often switch them to their maintance product. 

I have heard of Santa Cruz's Natural E, but have not used it. I would want him on 8-10k IU to see if there was a turn around and then make sure he was getting a sufficient amount of selenium and magnesium in his diet. But MOST horses can have both supplemented pretty generously without complications.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you Wallaby and Dehda for your suggestions. I'm interested in learning more about both products to decide. I want to be cost effective as well.

I also don't want to work with a liquid product, it might be better but I'm not the one who makes my horse's grain and I'd be more comfortable with a dry powder or pellet.

I think I'm going to try the UltraCruz product for the 30 day dose to see if it makes a difference or not. Hopefully it will help or if it doesn't help, it doesn't help but I think I'm going to order it.

Thank you for sharing the information. I hope it'll help Dante out and hopefully he'll be happier. 

____________________
I turned him out tonight (I worked all day) but he looked sad to me. I don't care if that's ridiculous to think or not but I think horses have emotions. I think he seems down in general. He just didn't seem perky or particularly happy. But he's out in the pasture. He lost his pasture mate, so I wonder if that's part of why he's sad. He loves having a buddy. He's always happier with a friend.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- That is very true. I generally trust recognized over schooling. But if a judge has a clear biased, I take those with a grain of salt and if they clearly don't know what they're doing, I just dont count them at all. It's all subjective. And it is rewarding to feel like your hard work has mattered and get credit for it.
> 
> She wasn't a good trainer and very full of herself and that her way was the only right way.
> 
> You should be  it's exciting when a horse pulls through and end up loving it too.
> 
> I'm sad to be "starting over" but after riding Dante today I really feel like the right thing is to find him a new home. I don't think he has what it takes for the upper levels, mentally I don't think that's what he wants to do. I think he'd be happier with someone who wants to play around on him and jump and do some dressage and do something else. I rode him today and played around. Did some role backs and jumped over cavaletti, he was really good over the cavaletti. We made our distance almost every time, one time he went long but that was my fault. And he's good. You just give him a pace and he can find his own distance which to me is a big deal because I used to be an eventer, so I think he might like being a low level eventer or hunter or jumper or just having a different job. He never backs out or tries to duck out, he feels game to me and he's been really careful. Even at the walk he didn't touch the cavaletti once. Then we did dressage and he had a real wake up call about zoning out and ignoring my aids. I picked up the whip and instantly he remembered. We worked more on just getting him past the mental block and he worked hard. He didn't feel stiff, he felt normal but we had a discussion about working into the outside rein, working into the bridle and carrying himself and working into the outside rein, proper bend and laterals. In all honesty it wasn't a pretty/elegant ride but I feel it was an important one. We did some simple changes which were good and walk to canters because if he's going to jump that's pretty necessary and I'll probably need to put a change on him but I'm not into rushing that. It was hot but our barn stays really cool. At least 10 degree cooler inside than outside. I also put someone else on him, she couldn't get him through (she's a good rider) but she did well on him and I feel really confident about putting other people on him now which is HUGE. I think I'm going to ask Pam if once his saddle comes in about putting different people on him to get him used to having different riders and hopefully that will help.
> 
> But for dressage, he seems pretty apathetic and to me that says it's over. You can do a lot with a conformationally compromised horse but only if they want to do it and love their job. If they don't you can't make them and you can't push them to do it. Or I guess you can but I don't enjoy dressage when it feels like it's not a joint effort. I like the partnership and team building and the communication, not here do this because you have to. I don't enjoy it when I feel like I'm making them do it vs they want to do it. I'm going to talk to Mari about taking some jumping lessons and maybe her bringing a saddle out. I'd prefer not to jump train him, I don't feel competent for that but I feel like he should have some jumping training. I might ask about hauling him to a jumping stable and having their riders put some rides on him. I think he'd be a LOT easier to fit to a jumping saddle than a dressage saddle.
> 
> But definitely! You added me the arabian group and I'm going to advertise him once I get my saddle and make a sales video. So about 2-3 weeks to figure out his pattern, so I can appropriately market him. And I am. I really kinda want a teenager who wants to event or do pony club to get him, I think he'd love being a teens event horse. Last year he didn't seem keen about jumping, this year he seems to really like it but not in a take off at the fences way but in a goes down the line nicely, keeps rhythm, and listens, so maybe he'd like that. But definitely the arabian, half arabian market will be our main market. And it is heart breaking. I'm really sad/disapointed. I love him and I know there are going to be more tears but after the last few rides, I honestly feel like this is for the best and I'm making the right choice. I think he needs a new job.
> 
> I don't know what it is that he was so dull, he tried that today but then I picked up the whip and he remembered, then I laid it back down and he was apathetic and I picked it up and he was like I got it, I got it. I don't know. Maybe he was acclimating to the weather because it hadn't been this hot until this week and now he's better? or the other day he had a day off? It definitely seems the more he does. The better he goes. But I don't know that-that's an exact pattern atm.
> 
> I entirely agree with you. It was uncalled for/unfair which if it's anybody, okay whatever but from family/parents I'm more like come on let's be honest but at least be decent and not demeaning. Yeah saying I make bad choices and the next horse would be a bust was really uncalled for and unnecessary and dragging in failed relationships/dating to illustrate how poor my judgment is was uncalled for. But you are ABSOLUTE correct on that entire assessment. Without horses yes we could have more material wealth and have more things but it leaves us with an empty, hollowed life. And that was my argument is the horses give me a purpose in life and though they may not understand it, that's what drives me to get up every morning and to work hard and keep trying. In all honesty, I probably wont have a family but you know I'll have a horse. They're from German families and were poor for a long time, the extent of frugality my friends who is from Taiwan says is cheapness level asian :lol:


I generally would too, except this judge we knew not to trust. I'm still a bit mad about the "NICE HALT" preceded by "straight centerline" only earning a 7. Some of the marks were close to spot on with the schooling show judge. Mainly the riders marks and such. I consistently have always gotten a 7. Hoping to one day boost that a bit more when I gain control of nerves :lol: it really is rewarding 

Ugh, no. So many ways to do things.

It is! At first Izzie would get mad and a bit anxious with shoulder in and haunches in. Now, her ears are up like "I've SOO got this!" and we can switch back and forth between the two down the long side without any anger. That to me says she likes it now :lol:

A low level eventer could have fun with him I think. Wouldn't require too much sitting for dressage, and the chance to jump fun jumps. I agree to not rush changes, but even if he didn't have a change yet someone may be interested in him and teach him themselves. *shrugs* never know. Having different riders ride him often would probably be a very good thing to do.

No, you want your four legged partner to enjoy it, not just do it. That's why my trainer in Michigan sold George. He had BUCKETS of talent for Dressage, but hated it. LOVED being a jumper. That was his path in life. It takes a very big person to see this and send them on, no matter how much they love the horse. A 4H kid or someone who just wants an all arounder may be his perfect home. Dabble in this and that and trail ride. I'm sure you'll figure it out.

I added you to one :lol: there are TONS. The one that just popped into my head is to look up Arabian Sport Horse Alliance Marketplace. That is for horses in the Arabian industry being sold as anything BUT main ring horses. This would be for your eventers, your endurance riders, your dressage riders, etc. Basically, anything that wouldn't be in the main ring and actually out doing something other than riding on the rail. That one would be your best bet if you want to advertise him toward the lower level eventing industry. You're a brave woman to be making this decision. I know it isn't easy.

Who knows  but if you're feeling he really is unhappy, then he does need to find something that makes him happy. Are you able to take him out on the trails? Maybe a good mental break would do him some good.

Well, you can't take the money with you when you go. And if you do have a family, they need to be taught to be independent, not sitting around waiting for an inheritance. Telling a horse person to not own a horse (if they can afford it) is like telling someone they can't use their dominate hand to write. It's not going to work out well, and we would be miserable. You know your financial standing. You know if you can keep doing this. They really need to back off and let you do what you love. Bringing the failed relationships into too was super low. Like you haven't suffered enough from that :/


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## frlsgirl

DanteDressageNerd said:


> In other news. I wasn't going to post it but I made the decision today that it's time to sell Dante and find him a new home. I rode him today and it was just clear to me, he can't do this and it's not fair to expect him to be able to go up the levels with his issues. I lunged him first because we're bareback and he was very sluggish, reluctant to move forward. I rode him and it literally took everything I had in me to walk and trot around the arena and on a 20m circle to keep him through and correct. Literally that is all I asked for and it took everything I have. I didn't feel Dante was mentally resisting or he didn't want to, I felt like he was just really struggling and it's not fair. Our lesson was very short, he felt like he was telling me he can't do it and I wont force a horse to work, especially a horse who has been as willing as Dante has.


Shut the front door!!!! We ARE living parallel lives!

This is EXACTLY my ride on Ana Friday; she can't even trot around the arena without ear pinning, falling all over the place, limping and a clenched jaw; even on a loose rein. Riding shouldn't be this difficult; not even for a greenie and Ana is not THAT green; she's been in consistent work for 2.5 years!

I'm not as mature as you though; I cannot part with her; she's my heart horse. Plus nobody is going to want to a lame horse that can only do loose rein walk and only on good footing. 

At least Dante can still do some things successfully and he is not as tiny as Ana so that opens up a larger pool of possible candidates for him.


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## frlsgirl

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Got into an argument with my parents who honestly do not like that I own a horse and see it as a waste of my life. So that was fun. I see it as horses and riding is honestly the reason I get up in the morning and feel motivation at all and I don't get why they want to kill that. They're supportive in a way but at the same time anti horse and consider it a disgusting waste of resources. Won't get into that, just it's my money and I was trying to let them in to know what is going on and just got a HUGE lecture and beat down about how I'm ruining my life, wasting my time and should be applying myself towards something more productive and saving more, so I can live how they want me to. I sound like such a child but it doesn't matter, your parents still have an affect on you but then they wonder why I don't open up or talk to them much. And I'm kinda like what is there to say? They said I should get a boyfriend instead of a horse because it's cheaper and more productive. And that sent me over the edge because then they were like you make poor choices in men and horses, why waste your money on another horse that will just be a bust like the rest. I honestly can take a lot but when it's my parents basically repeating back to me my fears and general anxieties that really hurts. Because I've worked really hard to fight those thoughts and that stuff that sends me into a downward spiral. I have a hard time believing anything will work out and at least I know why those thoughts repeat in my head all the time. They're good parents and good people, they just dont like how I dedicate myself to the horses. They resent that's my passion. Why cant you do something cheaper.


Oh man! That's totally not what you needed! You need support! You need people who understand how hard this is for you! 

I can't tell you how many similar conversations I've had with my husband; but he finally sees how happy Ana makes me and he's accepted her as part of the family so he's trying to make it work even though he doesn't understand all this. 

Non-horse people will never understand horse people the way other horse people do. 

I'm glad we can be here for each other. Don't feel bad about feeling like crying when you look at his pictures - that is normal. I was trying to figure out how to delete 5000 Ana pictures from my iPhone and how to move anything horse and Dressage related out of my sight because everything just made me cry; and I'm 40; you are perfectly normal!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I'll reply more appropriately later. I am REALLY busy. Yesterday I got back earlier than the other few days but after spending the day in 97 degree weather with humidity. I just wanted to hydrate and rest. 

With Dante, I don't know if it is that I'm "mature" but that I've accepted reality and emotionally it really upsets me but at the same time long term I know it's going to be a bad outcome for both of us. Dante isn't happy with me, I feel that and I'm not going to be happy with him either. I've just seen so many horses run out of steam or horses that are talented but shut down when the pressure is put on (and a fair amount, not all of a sudden they're expected to do changed and pushed into things they're not ready for) but asked to do more than before. Some say no and you don't really know with youngsters if they'll be an upper level candidate. Talent is one component but the important one is whether they can handle it and want to keep doing it when it gets tough. They have to be able to cope with the pressure. Mari said physically Dante can do it but she said mentally I don't think he has it. 
_____________________________

Katie- Some judges are good and give accurate/fair scores and some inflate scores and some give unfair scores or flat out don't know what they're doing. I'm sure next show will give you a better idea. I know with the one show I did, I totally disregarded the scores because it was just badly judged. I would mind being picked apart if it made sense but that judge it was like she just called out random numbers because she didn't know what she was doing. She scored everybody like that, it was just bad. Both my trainers who are experienced with shows both said, she didn't have a clue and not to take the scores personally. I guess you and Izzy will get a more accurate picture next show!

And there are a lot of ways to ride well and a lot of ways to ride poorly but to assume the old way and classical riding was the only way but the horses went worse through her methods. I have a little resentment towards "classical" only people. There isn't just classical and modern, there are SO SO many different style of riding. I've just known a lot of those and the horse's are never really through, in balance, or truly organized. They have elevation/lightness but not throughness or the whole body connection. But they always have their nose up in the air that their way is the only way, so I just smile and nod. Sorry that type irks me and I just avoid them because they think they know absolutely everything and wont listen to anyone elses perspective and inflate their resume to show superiority over addressing the actual issues in the discussion.

I'm glad Izzy loves her job. It's so necessary to have a horse that loves it's job. If they love it you can do a lot and if they don't there isnt much you can do. No matter how talented they are, it comes down to if they want to do it. Same with people. I honestly think one of the biggest insults is well you have so much potential...and I'm like well thank you? My dad one time told me (adn this is funny, not derogatory). I was calling myself a failure and he said "no, you're not a failure. You are what we term a "pre-success." But you can have all the talent and potential in the world and achieve nothing. Work ethic, drive and the mind set means alot.

Definitely. I think he'll be happier with more variety in his life and not as much pressure. I think he'd be happier with less expectations put on him. I think he'd feel more successful too.

And exactly! That was really wise of your trainer to say yes this horse could be a super star but that's not what he wants and put him into a position where he could be happy. And thank you for your understanding and support. We dont have much access to trails or for a hack, so I think he'll be happier else where. I'm trying to do the right thing by both of us. It's not fair to either of us. And everyone I've talked about told me I was making the right decision.

But thank you. it isn't easy. Sometimes I'm super pragmatic and like this is what needs to happen then the emotional side comes in and it's hard. But I'm thankful for the support I have here 

Exactly. You can't take it with you. So might as well do what you enjoy doing and what makes life worth living. My mom apologized, my dad has not. He's stubborn as they come, I know he means well but he has some aspergers traits too and can be really I don't know how to describe it. His heart is in the right place, he just has NO tact what so ever and go to places that are totally inappropriate and unfair. My mom was really supportive and asked me questions about my plans and gave me some advice for when I sell Dante and buy a new horse and hugged me. But my sister was there and she was pretty upset they brought up the past relationships, she was like that is so low and uncalled for. It's a sore spot with me. I'm moving past it but keep in mind they're the type of people who are SUPER smart but have those smart people quirks where they can be overly pragmatic/logical but not good with people. Think a little of Spock. 
________________________

Tanja- It's so bizarre but we really are living parallel lives! 

When they tell you something, you have to listen and sometimes you just feel it and know. 

Dante I think will have a good shot at finding a good home. He's become SO SO much more ridable and he has a WONDERFUL work ethic but I think he needs more variety in his life to be happy and won't make it to the FEI levels. And he has more than enough dressage training for almost anything else someone would want to take him to. He was developing 2nd level but things happen. He knows how to collect and lengthen but we're jumping him now, so I think he'll be happier doing that. And I think when I have a saddle and can get off his back more he'll be happier too. 

But I entirely agree. Non horse people will never understand what horse people do. It's such a unique/special thing there is nothing you can really compare it to for others. But I'm glad your husband came to see how important and special Ana is to you and understood how much it meant to you.

And no how they handled that was really not what I needed. Dad is a CPA, mom is an accountant, they're both very sharp/smart people and my mom I think would have been a brilliant engineer or technical type. She has a real gift that way but sometimes they're not good at approaching people or things they're concerned about. Think about Spock from Star Trek a bit. But my mom apologized and she was really helpful yesterday and hugged me (she knows hugs are hard for me) but she was supportive. 
_____________________

I was pretty frustrated with him yesterday, I didn't ride. Just lunged but I couldn't get him to give to the left which I worked him harder than I should have and I regret that. I didn't do anything terrible or wrong but I felt I was unfair by expecting too much. He was NOT dripping sweat but I hate myself if I feel I was unfair. Afterwards I gave him a massage and really focused on stretching and really helping his muscles to release. I know it stems from the left shoulder but I think with stretching and muscle work I can fix it. I am actually pretty good at massage. I don't know the technical terms but my skills are good and with my massage therapist (I'm pretty top heavy, 32FF-G and with my different issues, it helps a TON) I discuss the techniques I use and he will give suggestions or better ideas. His posture was night and day different before and after. It's not 100% but in time it will be. But I learned instead of trying to work through an issue, just go back to muscle work.

Tonight I have a jumping lesson on Dante. I have 2 trainers: Mari and Pam. Pam is my main trainer I've been working with for years and is a friend, etc. Mari is a really good hunter trainer and GP rider and 1 score shy of her USDF gold medal. She's been training for 20-30 years. They're both great but Mari is bringing a jumping saddle and we're going to put jumper training into Dante. I'm probably going to talk to Mari the most about selling and when I do buy a horse. She's REALLY good at that and has a great eye for horses. I will be looking at warmbloods, almost exclusively.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Short update from tonight

Dante and I had our jumping lesson. The saddle didn't fit perfect but Dante didn't care. Dante was PHENOMENAL. I think we've found him a new job. He LOVES it. His demeanor, his attitude, everything is TOTALLY different and he perks up to and after a fence. He's just so happy. We did a cavaletti exercise and a 3-stride cross rail. So simple stuff but perfect for me and Dante. 

At first I was a little awkward, being in a jumping saddle with jumper length stirrups is new and finding my balance in two point but towards the end on our final jump. Dante was PERFECT and I was spot on too. It felt amazing!! He used his back and neck well over fences. I'm SO proud of him. For the most part we got our distances every time and there's a lot to work on for sure but I'm SO proud of Dante. He seemed so pleased with himself after the ride and he gained a lot of confidence as he went around. After the ride he seemed happy and pleased like I've never seen him before.

It makes me so happy because he felt so happy/pleased with himself and confident, and that's all you really want for them. It also makes me happy because I feel good about finding him a good home and I think he's going to be so much happier. Mari said Dante was a super star and it was a good ride which is a big deal because Mari isn't big on compliments but that's good. 

The diet has REALLY helped Dante. A LOT less spookiness, a LOT less quirky. He seems like a normal horse. He still has some tude but no where close to the same. And the Vitamin-E supplement is on it's way. Dante tested negative for both EPM and lyme disease.

We need to work more on two point, walk to canters and more on simple changes because at some point we're going to teach him changes, especially if we advertise him as an arabian hunter. Mari will dictate when and how but I'm going to work more on simple changes because that was my original plan on teaching Dante changes. I can put a hunter change on him but I'd rather teach him more dressage changes, so he listens for the change vs being thrown off balance for the change.

We're borrowing the saddle for a few weeks, so lots of two point riding and re-training my baby to be a hunter. I think he'll be so happy.

My back ground is in eventing, so I have jumped. I used to jump 3'3-3'6 on my old eventer who was a nut and half but a kick *** event horse. My trainer when I still lived in Oregon and Washington state did a prelim course on him, he made it look like a joke.


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## Rainaisabelle

Yay for Dante !


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## frlsgirl

That's awesome! Glad he found something he enjoys and feels good about! Ana hates jumping; she doesn't understand why you would want to go over something when you can just go around it!


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## Wallaby

Yay Dante!!! I'm thrilled that you figured out something he loves!

Fabio loves jumping things too - I wonder if it has to do, somehow, with how their bodies don't typically do what they want them to, but jumping somehow overrides their bodies and they get to have this moment of freedom....
I don't know, but Fabs lives to jump.


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## Dehda01

Most of my Arabs get bored and dull with arena work, so putting jumps definitely break up their boredom. Getting them out of the ring to do dressage made a world of difference to them. They refuse to drill in the ring, but out on the trail or cross country where you can break up the monotony makes up for the drilling with them. I do my lateral work in fields, or long stretches or else my horses will get sour. They like seeing the purpose to the movements, rather than feeling forced to do something because I told them. I find when you have a very smart horse they will often resent the same ring work. I love warmbloods, but they don't reason things out like arabs ( or other smart breeds do) so they often don't mind staying in the ring as much.


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## frlsgirl

Agreed @Dehda01 - I have the same issue with my Morgan; always trying to keep things interesting for her so that she doesn't get bored. I've done Dressage with her out in the field so that she doesn't know she's being worked


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- Some judges are good and give accurate/fair scores and some inflate scores and some give unfair scores or flat out don't know what they're doing. I'm sure next show will give you a better idea. I know with the one show I did, I totally disregarded the scores because it was just badly judged. I would mind being picked apart if it made sense but that judge it was like she just called out random numbers because she didn't know what she was doing. She scored everybody like that, it was just bad. Both my trainers who are experienced with shows both said, she didn't have a clue and not to take the scores personally. I guess you and Izzy will get a more accurate picture next show!
> 
> And there are a lot of ways to ride well and a lot of ways to ride poorly but to assume the old way and classical riding was the only way but the horses went worse through her methods. I have a little resentment towards "classical" only people. There isn't just classical and modern, there are SO SO many different style of riding. I've just known a lot of those and the horse's are never really through, in balance, or truly organized. They have elevation/lightness but not throughness or the whole body connection. But they always have their nose up in the air that their way is the only way, so I just smile and nod. Sorry that type irks me and I just avoid them because they think they know absolutely everything and wont listen to anyone elses perspective and inflate their resume to show superiority over addressing the actual issues in the discussion.
> 
> I'm glad Izzy loves her job. It's so necessary to have a horse that loves it's job. If they love it you can do a lot and if they don't there isnt much you can do. No matter how talented they are, it comes down to if they want to do it. Same with people. I honestly think one of the biggest insults is well you have so much potential...and I'm like well thank you? My dad one time told me (adn this is funny, not derogatory). I was calling myself a failure and he said "no, you're not a failure. You are what we term a "pre-success." But you can have all the talent and potential in the world and achieve nothing. Work ethic, drive and the mind set means alot.
> 
> Definitely. I think he'll be happier with more variety in his life and not as much pressure. I think he'd be happier with less expectations put on him. I think he'd feel more successful too.
> 
> And exactly! That was really wise of your trainer to say yes this horse could be a super star but that's not what he wants and put him into a position where he could be happy. And thank you for your understanding and support. We dont have much access to trails or for a hack, so I think he'll be happier else where. I'm trying to do the right thing by both of us. It's not fair to either of us. And everyone I've talked about told me I was making the right decision.
> 
> But thank you. it isn't easy. Sometimes I'm super pragmatic and like this is what needs to happen then the emotional side comes in and it's hard. But I'm thankful for the support I have here
> 
> Exactly. You can't take it with you. So might as well do what you enjoy doing and what makes life worth living. My mom apologized, my dad has not. He's stubborn as they come, I know he means well but he has some aspergers traits too and can be really I don't know how to describe it. His heart is in the right place, he just has NO tact what so ever and go to places that are totally inappropriate and unfair. My mom was really supportive and asked me questions about my plans and gave me some advice for when I sell Dante and buy a new horse and hugged me. But my sister was there and she was pretty upset they brought up the past relationships, she was like that is so low and uncalled for. It's a sore spot with me. I'm moving past it but keep in mind they're the type of people who are SUPER smart but have those smart people quirks where they can be overly pragmatic/logical but not good with people. Think a little of Spock


I'm sure of it too  and yeah, the show you went to had a crappy judge. Would mark her name down and not show under her again.

And yeah, that's why I've never really followed one person. Sure, I have my trainer, but I would do clinic rides with others if the opportunity presented itself. I do feel the ones who claim to only ride classical do appear more stuck up :/

I am too  definitely makes it easier to do fun things! I like the term "pre-success" actually. It is amusing he said that. And you aren't a failure 

I'm sure he would!!

It really was. She was sad, but the horse needed to be happy. And I meant to trail to see if he'd like it/would be ok with it. In case someone who wanted him was interested in how he does on the trails. You are making the right decision. It sucks, and it hurts, but you both deserve to be happy.

You definitely have a lot of that here!

I'm glad your mom apologize and discussed where to go from here. Shame your dad hasn't :/ I'd struggle with that a lot.

I'm glad he really took to the jumping!! The changes will come with time. I'm glad you'll have help with getting him brought along in jumping though! It may add just enough variation for him that he's super happy! And glad the diet seems to have worked so well!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I couldn't log on yesterday. I tried but no log in. 

Raina- Thank you kindly! I'm so happy we've found something that makes him happy. He loves having a job but I think he will never be happy as a dressage horse, even if we cross trained him I think it's too hard for him.
_____________________

Tanja- I'm really glad we found something he enjoys too. It's a shame Ana doesn't enjoy jumping but they each have their thing, just like people 
____________________

Walaby- Thank you. I'm really glad we found something he loves too. It makes me feel a lot better that I'm doing the right thing in finding him a new home because he won't be happy with me and vice versa. Jumping seems a lot more natural for him. 

It very well could be. I think the degree of throughness we expect and the whole us of muscles in his body that we expect in dressage is too hard for him and unfair to ask but in hunters over fences they don't have that same degree of sit/throughness so it's not as hard on him and it uses different muscles, so I don't know why they like it. Maybe it just feel good or stretches that parts that get sore or they wouldn't normally use? I saw Fab's seems to LOVE going over that poll, I wonder too if maybe it stimulates their mind in a way they find really interesting? They both seem like smart, playful horses so maybe that's part of it? 

I ordered the vitamin E you suggested, I'm eager to see if it makes a difference. So far it seems manageable. Low starch-low sugar diet, ALCAR, grazing muzzle, and consistent work. He seems to do better the more he does and the less he does the more tense he gets. He has at least 10hrs of turnout is a big field so I think that helps and I hand walk him for about 15-20 minutes if he's been in.
__________________________

Dehda- I can definitely see that. Where I'm at hacking out or trails is really difficult because that would require hauling out and I don't own a trailer, unfortunately so I think he'd be a lot happier in a different situation where he could have more variety in his life. 

I can see what you mean about warmbloods, with them I think it really depends. Some that definitely ring true for. There are SO many types and lines and you see different trends in different areas. They're just so broad a range because there is so much different blood, they're more of a type to me than a breed. Some I really like, some I'm not a big fan. When I was in Germany I saw so many different breeds/bloodlines that I had never seen or heard of in the states. There's such a variety and so many regions and types. Just depends on the horse. 
_________________________

Katie- Definitely. Fortunately she's an "L" judge so she can't judge recognized shows but I'll probably show under her at some point when I get my new horse because I'm looking at 2-3yr olds and they'll need to get out for the experience but we'll just be showing for experience, no scores. 

Exactly. I follow a certain style. I won't train with anyone but neoclassical is more what I follow. I'd train with someone who did french or german or classical, as long as they're teaching in the same direction and aren't steering down the wrong path. Yeah. I respect classical, just havent had good experiences with people who say they trained strict classical or havent been impressed by what I've seen from the classical school, except by Paul Belasik. His riding is lovely and he's not agenda pushing. His horses are well schooled, balanced, it's just nice to watch. I won't elaborate, I just have a distaste for the "holier than though" types. Who talk all day about theory but their horses don't go that well. They are riding "classical" dressage but not how I want to ride. Horse is light, elevated but not through or truly engaged/whole body connection but on the internet the ideas are popular.

You can do a lot more when a horse wants to do it's job. A horse who doesn't love it will never do what a horse who loves it can. You can pressure them but you can't make them. :lol: my dad is usually pretty amusing he comes up with good one liners and quips, we have good banter occasionally but I'm usually pretty quiet.

I think so. After that hunter over fences lesson, I feel a different horse under me. He seems peaceful, happy, and he feels like how a horse should in their work and after that I felt it was the right thing to find him a new home. He was SO SO much easier to ride, just shift weight to fix his balance and he just seemed like a different horse. Not spooky at all, not quirky or unpleasant, just happy/relaxed. So I feel confident selling him to someone and selling a horse that will be good for someone and they'll do well with him.

For sure! It's heartbreaking but when you love them you want what is best for them! My friend, Karen sold her very nice horse because it just wasn't working out (she badly directed by her old trainer) to buy a horse that wasnt suitable. She's a really good rider, a few scores short of her silver medal on a cob/paint cross but it just wasn't a good fit and now that horse is eventing and happy as a clam. And she has a PSG pony! But I see her story and know how well it turned out for both of them and I know it's for the best. I still get sad about it but I'm doing better than I was.

Definitely! And I'm very grateful for having that. Support means a lot and it definitely helps when things just aren't going well. 

My dad is going through a lot with work and he's not particularly tactful with people, he has a big heart but he shows it more through doing than by talking. My mom is more sensitive/aware of what's being said. What he said was wrong and that stung but I also know him and he's not a mean person but he doesn't understand emotions very well. Not a psychopath/sociopath or narcissist or manipulative or any of those things at all, he's just not emotionally intelligent and can be callous sometimes. He's someone people have to get to know to understand. The thing is he says things he may mean but was wrong to say but at the end of the day he genuinely cares, he just doesn't know how to show it or what to say or can't relate/understand, so doesn't approach it well. Like he can't understand at all the psychological trauma I've been through, he thinks that's normal and there are quite a few pieces I haven't told them because it's hard to talk about/too personal. I don't share some experiences unless someone asks me about it or they share a story of what happened and I'll say something, just to say I know what it feels like. There are some experiences you just can't explain.

Me too. He's SO much happier as a hunter. I think we're going to sell him as an arabian hunter over fences and if someone wants to do low level eventing or whatever they can. But I'm waiting 2 weeks to advertise, so he gets some more jump training under his belt and we'll keep doing it until he sells. I did start him over fences last year but then focused on the dressage. And now we're coming back to do more. I think he'll be a lot easier to train over fences because he already has a rhythmical canter, he's more aware of his legs, and he's more mature with a good background in dressage. Literally just hold a contact and shift position to correct his balance in two point and he's working into the contact, balanced and in rhythm.
___________________________

In other news I did discuss with Mari about new horses options and I've decided what I'm looking for. I may have to wait a while but it'll be worth the wait. 

2-4yr old fillies/mares over 16h and preferably dark bay (my favorite color) warmblood :lol: I thought about it too and said this to both trainers, even if Dante wanted to do dressage. I think now is the time to sell him, I thought about how much it'd take to get him going to PSG and thought I dont want to be fighting for every score and for the training, etc I'm going to spend the same amount anyway, so I'm going to start with a horse bred to do it. For the quality I want, I think I could afford something unbroke.


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## Rainaisabelle

Awesome choice ! Warmbloods aren't entirely popular over here we have heaps of TBs! 

I know how you feel about the classical 'holier then though' types. One trainer at the old place I was at said he was completely into classical which was fine until I saw him yanking his horse in the mouth with a curb bit on purpose because he was frustrated then getting off and yanking the horse more making it fly backwards.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- Definitely. Fortunately she's an "L" judge so she can't judge recognized shows but I'll probably show under her at some point when I get my new horse because I'm looking at 2-3yr olds and they'll need to get out for the experience but we'll just be showing for experience, no scores.
> 
> Exactly. I follow a certain style. I won't train with anyone but neoclassical is more what I follow. I'd train with someone who did french or german or classical, as long as they're teaching in the same direction and aren't steering down the wrong path. Yeah. I respect classical, just havent had good experiences with people who say they trained strict classical or havent been impressed by what I've seen from the classical school, except by Paul Belasik. His riding is lovely and he's not agenda pushing. His horses are well schooled, balanced, it's just nice to watch. I won't elaborate, I just have a distaste for the "holier than though" types. Who talk all day about theory but their horses don't go that well. They are riding "classical" dressage but not how I want to ride. Horse is light, elevated but not through or truly engaged/whole body connection but on the internet the ideas are popular.
> 
> You can do a lot more when a horse wants to do it's job. A horse who doesn't love it will never do what a horse who loves it can. You can pressure them but you can't make them. :lol: my dad is usually pretty amusing he comes up with good one liners and quips, we have good banter occasionally but I'm usually pretty quiet.
> 
> I think so. After that hunter over fences lesson, I feel a different horse under me. He seems peaceful, happy, and he feels like how a horse should in their work and after that I felt it was the right thing to find him a new home. He was SO SO much easier to ride, just shift weight to fix his balance and he just seemed like a different horse. Not spooky at all, not quirky or unpleasant, just happy/relaxed. So I feel confident selling him to someone and selling a horse that will be good for someone and they'll do well with him.
> 
> For sure! It's heartbreaking but when you love them you want what is best for them! My friend, Karen sold her very nice horse because it just wasn't working out (she badly directed by her old trainer) to buy a horse that wasnt suitable. She's a really good rider, a few scores short of her silver medal on a cob/paint cross but it just wasn't a good fit and now that horse is eventing and happy as a clam. And she has a PSG pony! But I see her story and know how well it turned out for both of them and I know it's for the best. I still get sad about it but I'm doing better than I was.
> 
> Definitely! And I'm very grateful for having that. Support means a lot and it definitely helps when things just aren't going well.
> 
> My dad is going through a lot with work and he's not particularly tactful with people, he has a big heart but he shows it more through doing than by talking. My mom is more sensitive/aware of what's being said. What he said was wrong and that stung but I also know him and he's not a mean person but he doesn't understand emotions very well. Not a psychopath/sociopath or narcissist or manipulative or any of those things at all, he's just not emotionally intelligent and can be callous sometimes. He's someone people have to get to know to understand. The thing is he says things he may mean but was wrong to say but at the end of the day he genuinely cares, he just doesn't know how to show it or what to say or can't relate/understand, so doesn't approach it well. Like he can't understand at all the psychological trauma I've been through, he thinks that's normal and there are quite a few pieces I haven't told them because it's hard to talk about/too personal. I don't share some experiences unless someone asks me about it or they share a story of what happened and I'll say something, just to say I know what it feels like. There are some experiences you just can't explain.
> 
> Me too. He's SO much happier as a hunter. I think we're going to sell him as an arabian hunter over fences and if someone wants to do low level eventing or whatever they can. But I'm waiting 2 weeks to advertise, so he gets some more jump training under his belt and we'll keep doing it until he sells. I did start him over fences last year but then focused on the dressage. And now we're coming back to do more. I think he'll be a lot easier to train over fences because he already has a rhythmical canter, he's more aware of his legs, and he's more mature with a good background in dressage. Literally just hold a contact and shift position to correct his balance in two point and he's working into the contact, balanced and in rhythm.
> ___________________________
> 
> In other news I did discuss with Mari about new horses options and I've decided what I'm looking for. I may have to wait a while but it'll be worth the wait.
> 
> 2-4yr old fillies/mares over 16h and preferably dark bay (my favorite color) warmblood :lol: I thought about it too and said this to both trainers, even if Dante wanted to do dressage. I think now is the time to sell him, I thought about how much it'd take to get him going to PSG and thought I dont want to be fighting for every score and for the training, etc I'm going to spend the same amount anyway, so I'm going to start with a horse bred to do it. For the quality I want, I think I could afford something unbroke.


That's good at least. Though even then I'd pick different shows to go to :lol:

That is how our first "clinician" was when we started working with someone with Izzie. It was all about "the theory of bend" "the theory of the outside rein." Drove me absolutely insane. I don't know what I would peg Maggy at really. All I know is that she works well with me and Izzie, and I feel good after our rides, not frustrated or unhappy. I just try to keep an open mind in general, but steering clear of the ones that just seem wrong for us.

Yup! I've always wanted Izzie to remain happy. The more we do, the more excited she is to work. Which then makes me excited to work :lol: and that sounds fun!

I'm glad! Sounds like he's found his niche then! That's so awesome!

I'm sure your story will turn out well too 

Ah, ok. Still, just low to bring in relationships :/ least you understand how he is, and hopefully you don't let it bring you down.

I would! He'd be a super cute arabian hunter over fences horse! Did you join the Arabian Sport Horse Alliance Marketplace? That is truly the first place I would list him if you're gearing him toward something that isn't rail classes. You might get lucky in the others, but that is the one for non-rail class horses. I think someone will be super excited to get him 

And yeah, you may need to wait a bit, but good things are worth waiting for! Hopefully you find what you're looking for!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Raina- I just feel it's time to buy something purpose bred. I'd still be taking a gamble because I can't afford something started but an unbroke 2-4yr old may be my best bet for getting something nice.

And exactly! There are a lot of "holier than though" types in the horse world and I just can't even be bothered to discuss things with them because to them they are always right and everyone else is wrong, even if they don't really know what they think they do but have to condemn others and degrade and talk over people's heads with theory to sound impressive. You can tell who they are because they talk in theory vs in application. 
___________________

Katie- Oh for sure. I'd love to but the local organization has chosen her to judge the last two schooling shows and she seems to be used a lot, though I have NO idea why. She's terrible and I have no doubt the other trainers in the area were complaining too. Just give accurate/fair marks. That's it. So it's cheaper for the experience but I have no idea when I'll show again. Re-starting a baby from breaking to going is exciting but at the same time it's totally starting from scratch. Don't get me wrong, I love breaking babies and riding babies. I'm good at it but at the same time it'd be nice to have something going to ride too. And if I don't get Dante sold before Pam leaves for Florida, I'm trying to think who could help me break a baby and then we're cutting into the school year and will I have time to break/get a baby going? I guess I'll just make time or I'll never get a horse going.

That entirely makes sense. I can't stand clinicians like that. I won't clinic with someone unless they're a rider too and have developed horses. I've just known too many people who play trainer or will read a ton of books but don't have the hands on, real world, application experience which makes the difference. But I'm glad you found a trainer you like to work with and Izzy likes to work with and it gives you something to work on and work with. That's always good. But lessons concentrated on theory over application frustrate me, so I get it.

I'm really glad Izzy enjoys her job, it makes a huge difference. I hope my next horse enjoys dressage and can handle the work load!

Me too. I'm really glad he's found something he enjoys and he'll be good at. One of my friends is a hunter and thinks he'll do really well because he has nice movement and jumps cute. At one time I was actually a pretty decent jumper. I still have a feel for it but still getting back into it. I think next lesson I'll have more feel back because the final line and jump was perfect. Part of it is Dante is easy to ride to the fences because he's so rhythmical. Doesn't get faster or slower, just stays the course. I have no idea what kind of scope he has but he's happier with a new job. 

I really hope so. Thank you 

It most certainly was and yeah. You have to understand the person you're working with/hearing from. And it hurt but it didnt' really bring me down too low, just ticked me off and made me angry because it was so out of line. There are some things/experiences you can't explain to people or expect them to understand. And with some of the things that have happened, I don't look at it as being a victim (I'd resent being called a victim) but you just want to be heard and understood. You want someone to hear you and really listen. You dont really have a pity party or feel sorry for yourself, just wanted to be heard and told it's okay sometimes. Or have hope.

Thank you! That's the plan and yes! I joined them. I think it'll be the best place to start advertising after we get a video. We might take him to Mari's and take the over fences video, I don't know if I'll be riding him or someone else. But that barn is set up with a full course and we can make a video then.

Yeah. For sure. I'm hoping the filly I showed you works out but I don't know if it will or wont *crossed fingers* I saw 2 mares that would fit what I'm looking for online and are in my price range, one is 5hrs away and 4yrs old. The other is 8hrs away and 4yrs old, lightly started. If the horse I really want doesn't work out for one reason or another, at least I know of a few options. But horses will keep appearing too and I'm just looking around to give myself an idea of what I can afford and to give me hope of finding something if the filly I really like doesn't work out. I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be sad if it didn't work out. Just gotta be patient and let things work themselves out and Dante needs to find a new home first. And if nothing works out then I guess it will give me more time to save until something does work out.


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## Rainaisabelle

I hope it works out  you deserve it. I agree though you're obviously wanting to go to higher levels so a purpose bred horse is definitely an advantage. Yeah this guy always thought he was right and couldn't be wrong which was the reason I never took lessons from him because I could take the arrogance of the condescending undertones and the sexism -.-


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- Oh for sure. I'd love to but the local organization has chosen her to judge the last two schooling shows and she seems to be used a lot, though I have NO idea why. She's terrible and I have no doubt the other trainers in the area were complaining too. Just give accurate/fair marks. That's it. So it's cheaper for the experience but I have no idea when I'll show again. Re-starting a baby from breaking to going is exciting but at the same time it's totally starting from scratch. Don't get me wrong, I love breaking babies and riding babies. I'm good at it but at the same time it'd be nice to have something going to ride too. And if I don't get Dante sold before Pam leaves for Florida, I'm trying to think who could help me break a baby and then we're cutting into the school year and will I have time to break/get a baby going? I guess I'll just make time or I'll never get a horse going.
> 
> That entirely makes sense. I can't stand clinicians like that. I won't clinic with someone unless they're a rider too and have developed horses. I've just known too many people who play trainer or will read a ton of books but don't have the hands on, real world, application experience which makes the difference. But I'm glad you found a trainer you like to work with and Izzy likes to work with and it gives you something to work on and work with. That's always good. But lessons concentrated on theory over application frustrate me, so I get it.
> 
> I'm really glad Izzy enjoys her job, it makes a huge difference. I hope my next horse enjoys dressage and can handle the work load!
> 
> Me too. I'm really glad he's found something he enjoys and he'll be good at. One of my friends is a hunter and thinks he'll do really well because he has nice movement and jumps cute. At one time I was actually a pretty decent jumper. I still have a feel for it but still getting back into it. I think next lesson I'll have more feel back because the final line and jump was perfect. Part of it is Dante is easy to ride to the fences because he's so rhythmical. Doesn't get faster or slower, just stays the course. I have no idea what kind of scope he has but he's happier with a new job.
> 
> I really hope so. Thank you
> 
> It most certainly was and yeah. You have to understand the person you're working with/hearing from. And it hurt but it didnt' really bring me down too low, just ticked me off and made me angry because it was so out of line. There are some things/experiences you can't explain to people or expect them to understand. And with some of the things that have happened, I don't look at it as being a victim (I'd resent being called a victim) but you just want to be heard and understood. You want someone to hear you and really listen. You dont really have a pity party or feel sorry for yourself, just wanted to be heard and told it's okay sometimes. Or have hope.
> 
> Thank you! That's the plan and yes! I joined them. I think it'll be the best place to start advertising after we get a video. We might take him to Mari's and take the over fences video, I don't know if I'll be riding him or someone else. But that barn is set up with a full course and we can make a video then.
> 
> Yeah. For sure. I'm hoping the filly I showed you works out but I don't know if it will or wont *crossed fingers* I saw 2 mares that would fit what I'm looking for online and are in my price range, one is 5hrs away and 4yrs old. The other is 8hrs away and 4yrs old, lightly started. If the horse I really want doesn't work out for one reason or another, at least I know of a few options. But horses will keep appearing too and I'm just looking around to give myself an idea of what I can afford and to give me hope of finding something if the filly I really like doesn't work out. I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be sad if it didn't work out. Just gotta be patient and let things work themselves out and Dante needs to find a new home first. And if nothing works out then I guess it will give me more time to save until something does work out.


She's probably cheap :/ maybe they will have so many complaints they won't have her back? Weird she's judging all the rest of the shows though, ugh. I'm sure you'll find time. In the beginning babies can't handle a whole lot of riding, mentally. So I'm betting you'll figure it out 

Yeah, he was the first one we tried. He supposed has ridden a lot, and trained mounted police horses. I can send you his credentials if you want on Facebook (they have a flier circulating for his next clinic; I removed myself from the group after my "we're going to stick with private lessons" was deleted from a status the chick in charge tagged me in. Sounded decent on paper, but I don't care for "theory" ways. But yes! We found our spot we think 

I'm sure you're next one will rock at it! I just know it!

That's awesome you're getting your feel back! Have you thought to free jump him a bit higher to see what scope he has? Not sure if that would be of interest for someone looking at him, but I know a lot of people free jump to show what they can do. But again, I know nothing about marketing a horse for hunter :lol:

Well, I have hope and faith it'll all work out for the best 

Awesome! I bet he gets a lot of interest  having him go a full course will probably be a great idea!

I hope she works out for you! But at least there are other options out there just in case. But fingers are crossed the filly is still available when Dante finds his new home!


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## frlsgirl

I saw this listing and thought of you; she is affordable but from what I hear she's a little hot under the collar; I was looking at her for myself but now that we got Ana all fixed up, I figured I let you know about her:

Just Call Me Katie, Chestnut Rheinland Pfalz Saar Mare, 2002 Warmblood Cross in Oklahoma - DreamHorse.com Horse ID: 2022635

I know the trainer; and she's legit.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Raina- thank you. I hope so. I hope it'll all work out but I have faith whatever is meant to be will work itself out and not to be too disappointed if things don't work how I want them to right now. 

And eek I wouldn't have taken lessons with him either. The undertones of sexism tick me off too. I'd have avoided that too!! A person with that kind of attitude is not the person you want to learn from anyway. If they have that attitude with you, it paints a picture of how they treat the horses.
_________________________

Katie- That very well could be and she's local and available, so they use her. And that's very true. Rides are short and just whatever they can cope with and gradually building up for what they can mentally deal with. Goal is no pressure, just positive experiences if you can create them.

That makes sense. Some people are really good at advertising but are very careful with what anyone says about them, so only positive things shine through about how brilliant the teacher is. But I agree theory only takes you so far, the rest is application. For example in your mind you can pitch a million baseballs but in reality you can only pitch maybe twenty, reality sets in pretty quick when you face it vs idealize about it.

I really hope so. I'm definitely having Mari and Pam's opinions on the next one but I think I'm going to side with Mari on her view of a horse having potential. She has a brilliant eye for temperament and potential. She's trained multiple horses to the upper levels, so she has a good eye.

Thanks! I was pretty surprised it was coming back so easily, I can't quite see a distance and pick it out anymore but I've been able to get my distance almost every time. I used to jump 3'3-3'6 courses, all my pictures are from when I was starting out but I was pretty decent. My eventer was hard to stay with and ride but we'll probably free jump him sometimes. It's just hard at Pam's because while we have jumps, it's really more of a dressage barn. Not set up with courses and the arena is small and not really designed for course work or grids. And I don't know much about marketing as a hunter or doing hunter over fences, I did some equitation training over 3ft but I was an eventer. When I jumped my friends horse she said I rode like an eventer, my form is in balance and with the horse but not huntery. Hunter I think they care more about style over scope but Mari knows, so I'm letting her teach me :lol: she's a really good trainer/very knowledgeable. 

Thanks  I appreciate it. I hope it does.

I have a feeling he will too. He's very pretty with a dappled coat and he jumps well and has had a lot of good training, plus he feels really safe over fences. I'm very excited to see how we progress. And he's still perfectly happy to do light dressage stuff. 

For sure. I really want that particular filly to work out because I like her so much, I know her background, rode her mom, am helping break her brother and I think she has a a lot of potential but we'll just have to wait and see. I suspect she's not going to be easy to ride but I'm okay with that. Her brother is a really nice amateur type, her I think she's not a professionals ride but going to be tricky about some things and hard to sit/stay with. She looks bouncier than Dante but I haven't seen her go in a while and she's still growing. And if she doesn't I might ask my friend who breaks trakehners if her boss would be interested in selling any of their young mares or fillies.
_________________

Tanja- thank you for the thought. I really appreciate it  She looks like a nice mare but atm I'm looking for a 2-4yr old.


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## Rainaisabelle

I have complete faith in you !


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you Raina. I appreciate it 
____________

Today

I rode 2 babies today Friday and Saturday. They were really good. Saturday had an outburst where he spun around and took off and almost hit the mounting block because he spooked at something (that's the arab in him) but my trainer who had my on the lunge line was like you didn't even move at all. And I said trust me Dante has been 10 times worse bareback, I don't move when they do that. Pam then asked me to get off while she walked him around to calm him down and asked if I was okay and I was like I'm good. My heart rate didn't go up at all, I was completely unphased. Thank you Dante for being so wildly eventful before the diet change :lol: But after he walked and calmed down, I got back on. It was a positive experience and he had a day.

But Friday was perfect. Still baby but he was SO SO good, we did walk-trot both directions. He was so good. He's still getting contact, he's a little like Dante was but not nearly as bad where he's still getting comfortable about reaching into it, so basically make a correction to help him balance and sit up his shoulders, put the reins forward. He's naturally forward, easy to run off his feet, so rhythm control is a big part of it. I did only sitting trot with him because he can't balance/organize at posting, I tried he's not ready. I realized how still/quiet a rider I actually am.

Then I rode Dante and he was really-really good. He's SO SO much happier being ridden in a hunter frame or lower dressage frame. SO much happier. His attitude and demeanor on the ground is SO different. He really seems happy. I did do quite a bit of laterals today, not so much to drill but to make sure he knows them and they're easy for him. I did a 3 loops serpentine between centerline and the wall, then I did shoulder in, quite a bit with haunches in mostly because of the work we're going to be doing on changes, leg yield, and I did some half pass which he did well and I left it alone. Didn't ask for any real collected work, just be through, reach into the contact, be balanced. Lots of walk to canters and simple changes. He had that down pat. I asked for one change and he got the idea but didn't change behind, so I just focused on simple changes. I didn't force it, just asked. I think he'll have changes pretty easily though to be honest. I stayed in two point almost the entire ride, except when I asked for some half pass steps or at walk but otherwise two point, some posting. 

I changed my riding style, I rode more hunter-y. I don't know how to explain but it's a difference in expectation and how I applied my aids because the expectation and the over all outcome is a little different. Just little changes, like being in two point, longer reins, using more weight to ask for things but I think he'll be basically well trained to start his hunter career. The purpose of the laterals is to improve his way of going, straightness, bend and I want to make him essentially effortless to ride to where a trainer may just have to do a few tune ups on him with an amateur owner. And those laterals to me are all good basics for a well trained horse. I hope to get video sometime, maybe next week? I'll have to talk to Mari about a date to take him over to her place. I don't know if I'll be riding him or someone else but talking to some of my hunter friends and Dante's pretty refined to ride. My goal is to make him as easy and uncomplicated as possible. 

I'll say riding today gave me a huge confidence boost and kinda showed me that I'm doing the right thing with Dante and also that I do know what I'm doing. My trainer said she was really happy with how well I ride the babies as well and that she's really confident in me riding them which means a lot because she's VERY VERY particular about who rides the babies. It also made me realize how refined and skilled I've become, not to be boastful it just made me feel good about what I've done in riding. Even if I've had a lot of setbacks and disappointments and haven't made it to the upper levels. I've learned SO SO much and come a LONG LONG way. I ride like a professional, my background was to aim me towards becoming a professional but that was a confidence boost. I've felt pretty defeated of late, especially with the whole Dante thing and being disappointed with our riding/training and how much money I've spent and all the time I've put into training him and the very real possibility that it could be the same with my next horse because you never know with babies but I have faith one day I'll make it the FEI levels. One day. It's going to be awhile yet though. And Dante's taught me SO SO much, I am so grateful for him because he was SO SO SO difficult for SO SO long and how hard it was to train him. I learned a heck of a lot and improved a ton. It's prepared me for my next horse. And I'm proud of how good he's become


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## Rainaisabelle

Look at that booty !


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## DanteDressageNerd

He does lol he's got a bit of a booty.

Overall just an update from my previous two rides and on the whole horse shopping front. Well more like browsing, not purchasing or inquiring or looking yet.

Yesterday Dante was really-really good. We worked a TON on laterals. Quite a bit on haunches in and some half pass. The saddle is a little too tight for his wither, so I dont ask for a ton and more walk to canters and simple changes, etc. Focusing on bending through the rib cage and making him ride more like a hunter. So more position leg aids and sending him through into a feather light contact. I will ask him for an extra degree than that to be more through and deeper over his back and topline but my goal is that a professional gets on him and says nice horse and nice job.

Today I had my lesson with Mari who is an EXCELLENT hunter trainer btw. And we had two jumps (2'6 cross rails), two strides inbetween at canter down the diagnol and a cavaletti down the other and another cavaletti on the side. Dante was a superstar, he was SO SO SO amazingly good. I was wowed by him. He really stepped up and took care of me and when I made mistakes, he made up for them so we got away we things. Over the jumps he'd swap his lead and he could pick out his distance and I was crooked down a line and Dante could have bailed, didn't and was like hey mom I got it. It was hard to turn down the line. It was like one stride off and one time I kinda buried Dante at the fence and most horses would have refused but Dante was like it's okay mom I got this. His walk to canter departs were perfect and he was SO good. I could have cried I was so proud of him. He's worth his weight in gold as a hunter-jumper. Mari thought it was amazing he can gage his own distance being how green he is to jumping but I said Dante is very smart and she's like I know he is. Too darn smart. 

His whole attitude about work and demeanor on the ground is so different. He seemed so pleased with himself and relaxed. I think this is his career and Mari said she thinks he'll be competitive enough for the open circuit as a hunter-jumper. He was SO amazing. I can't even believe how good he was. I made some big mistakes which is to be expected, it's been like 9-10yrs since I really jumped but he totally bailed me out and saved me, so it looked better than I rode it. He got tons of pats and treats and love. I had some good moments and the last fence/line I did well but I learned a lot in that lesson. I'm not strong enough in my back and core to really hold myself over the fences correctly (to be expected, I've had two jumping lessons) and those muscles aren't developed, so I'm going to try to work on them. They're really hard to get without a gym because its' between my shoulder blades and upper core and I have like 11lbs of breast tissue, so I need to be a lot stronger. I never got Dante in the mouth. And when I'd remind myself to pick myself back up and not get forward. I got it really well. 

We're discussing pulling his mane at some point but I think we're going to leave it and let the next owner decide.

I also talked to her about the next horse. What I'm looking for, my budget, etc and I told her I want to shop with her because I think she has a better eye for picking out prospects. She's picked horses that have gone onto the upper levels and developed horses to the upper levels, so I trust her judgment in helping me find a horse and saying whether or not the horse is mentally and physically able and will stay sound. But I'm thinking I may hold off on buying a horse for a little bit after Dante sells, so I can save up more money to buy a horse. I know my budget but in case I find that perfect horse and they're just out of reach I want to have extra. I have a feeling we may be doing some traveling.

Number one I want a mare over 16h. Preferably about 16.2h with potential for the upper levels. There are certain things I wont compromise on because I want to get what I want.


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## DanteDressageNerd

And last thing. I forgot to add this. 

We're going to try to get a sales video with a hunter-jumper professional on him and me on him to show how he goes with an amateur rider. Then we're also looking at setting up a day/time to put him through a jump shoot for free jumping, so we can gage his scope and really look at his jumping style and we'll video it all of course!

I'm just so happy we found Dante's thing, he LOVES it and he's good at it. Jumping style wise Mari said at the height it's hard to judge but she said there's nothing about his jumping that's bad.


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## Rainaisabelle

Aw I'm so happy that he is happy which makes you happy lol!


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## frlsgirl

So happy for you and Dante! You can just see the pride oozing from his pictures; like he knows he's all that and a bag of chips!


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- That very well could be and she's local and available, so they use her. And that's very true. Rides are short and just whatever they can cope with and gradually building up for what they can mentally deal with. Goal is no pressure, just positive experiences if you can create them.
> 
> That makes sense. Some people are really good at advertising but are very careful with what anyone says about them, so only positive things shine through about how brilliant the teacher is. But I agree theory only takes you so far, the rest is application. For example in your mind you can pitch a million baseballs but in reality you can only pitch maybe twenty, reality sets in pretty quick when you face it vs idealize about it.
> 
> I really hope so. I'm definitely having Mari and Pam's opinions on the next one but I think I'm going to side with Mari on her view of a horse having potential. She has a brilliant eye for temperament and potential. She's trained multiple horses to the upper levels, so she has a good eye.
> 
> Thanks! I was pretty surprised it was coming back so easily, I can't quite see a distance and pick it out anymore but I've been able to get my distance almost every time. I used to jump 3'3-3'6 courses, all my pictures are from when I was starting out but I was pretty decent. My eventer was hard to stay with and ride but we'll probably free jump him sometimes. It's just hard at Pam's because while we have jumps, it's really more of a dressage barn. Not set up with courses and the arena is small and not really designed for course work or grids. And I don't know much about marketing as a hunter or doing hunter over fences, I did some equitation training over 3ft but I was an eventer. When I jumped my friends horse she said I rode like an eventer, my form is in balance and with the horse but not huntery. Hunter I think they care more about style over scope but Mari knows, so I'm letting her teach me :lol: she's a really good trainer/very knowledgeable.
> 
> Thanks  I appreciate it. I hope it does.
> 
> I have a feeling he will too. He's very pretty with a dappled coat and he jumps well and has had a lot of good training, plus he feels really safe over fences. I'm very excited to see how we progress. And he's still perfectly happy to do light dressage stuff.
> 
> For sure. I really want that particular filly to work out because I like her so much, I know her background, rode her mom, am helping break her brother and I think she has a a lot of potential but we'll just have to wait and see. I suspect she's not going to be easy to ride but I'm okay with that. Her brother is a really nice amateur type, her I think she's not a professionals ride but going to be tricky about some things and hard to sit/stay with. She looks bouncier than Dante but I haven't seen her go in a while and she's still growing. And if she doesn't I might ask my friend who breaks trakehners if her boss would be interested in selling any of their young mares or fillies.


Yeah, we have one like that around here too. Just blah judges. And yup. So you'd have time 

Exactly!! I can envision us doing gorgeous changes and such, but no way could I get there without laying a foundation and working toward it. He was an ok guy, but kept trying to force us into a snaffle with one break. Izzie will go up in a single joint snaffle. I've seen it, and I have zero desire to try it again. She much prefers the double jointed snaffles, and I don't care for someone demanding I put her in something I know she will react negatively toward. I think our last lesson I finally got so mad I told him if he wanted her to go in it, to go right on ahead, put it in, and HE ride her. Because I wasn't stepping foot in the stirrup with her in a single joint. I'm glad we moved on from him.

Absolutely! And you'll find the next one I'm sure  and this one will be the one!

It is nice it's coming back so nicely! And I'm SO happy Dante is absolutely loving it! He definitely seems so proud in all the pictures you post on facebook! I'm glad he's found his spot! And it'll be fun to watch his sales video and his free jumping!!

I know he'll be snapped up quick  I would market him in there, and I did see where Mari thought he could do well on the open circuit too. I'd advertise him in both places :lol: hopefully someone nice takes him on!

If not that filly, another one  I have faith Mari will find you the perfect new horse when you're ready!!

I'm just so happy Dante found his area, and that he's taking care of you now! Really proves he is where he is supposed to be!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Raina- it really does. I'm SO happy we've found something he's taken to with such passion. He seems like a totally changed horse between the diet and changing his career.
_______________________

Tanja- yes he does. He feels pretty pleased with himself. I don't think of Dante an arrogant or conceited but he definitely feels pride in himself and thinks well of himself.
_______________________

Katie- The other things I've been thinking about is when Pam goes to Florida over winter, who is going to keep the youngsters going? I'm guess I might have one or two to ride but *Shrugs* I'd assume she'd want them kept in work. So I may be better off on holding out buying a new horse and saving some more money or until the right one comes along. I love the dark bay mare I showed you but I have a suspicion she's going to be more than I'm willing to pay for her. She's my buddy though. Lays her head in my arms and lets me kiss her nose. She's so sweet and well behaved. Perfect for the farrier. But I've worked with so many horses and liked so many of them, when/if that doesn't work out I'm going to be okay. 

And exactly. You can't rush changes or things. Right now I'm just focusing on walk to canter, simple changes and haunches in to prepare for changes. When I start preparing a horse for changes, I do haunches in into canter. I think it helps with teaching changes because to sell him as a hunter, I was told he needs a change. I'm not rushing it but I'm putting in the frame work to prepare for it and he'll let me know when he's ready. My original plan wasn't to put a change on until he started schooling 3rd. He changed over the fence our last go through. 

But no with training and equipment there is NOT a one size fits all regime and anyone who thinks that way is not someone I'd want to train with either. Every horse is different. Their mouths, bodies and mind are unique to them. One bit doesn't work for every horse, one method, one idea doesn't work for every horse. I totally agree with being like if you're going to pressure me to use a bit, I KNOW my horse doesn't like you can ride not me. I'd have left too. And I also don't like the single joint, puts more pressure on the tongue and palette, I like the french links too and I LOVE herm sprenger. I've used the neue schule bits but I don't like them as much as herm sprenger.

I hope the next one is the one that I can keep a while. I want a horse that I really bond with, click with. I need a sweet horse that enjoys cuddles but at the same time be a hard worker and enjoy dressage with a good thinking mind. Sensitive and kind. I don't mind a little hot but not anxiety ridden, going to stress itself into a bad place. Another friend was trying to convince me to train another one up and sell it and not intend to keep it but I'm kinda getting tired of developing horses to a point and never getting to compete or really campaign or really build them up, just go back to the starting line and try again. I want a long term team mate. And I want a mare. I get along better with mares and just like their work ethic and personalities better in general.

Dante really has. I'm so happy and grateful he's found his calling in life and is really good at it. I was NOT at all expecting him to take care of me the way he did. It was an awkward line to get on because the arena is small and it was like a stride or 2 off the wall to the fence and an odd angle but Dante bailed me out when I made mistakes. I usually recovered well but I'm so out of practice, I keep saying at least I never thudded on his back or got him in the mouth. He seems so much happier. He gave pretty perfect walk to canter transitions, relaxed, through, stepping under and nice because he knew it meant he was going to jump and swapped leads over the fences. I was so impressed he worked that out so quickly. Does he have that consistently? IDK but he gets it. He can gage his own distance and has his own eye which is pretty impressive to me.

I have a feeling he'll go pretty quick too, as long as he vets well and everything. He's a packer over fences. I think he'd take of just about anybody, as long as they're kind, fair, not rough on him and stay out of his way and let him do his job. Mari said she thinks he'll be really nice if someone wanted to put their time into making him a hunter. 

I think so too and Mari has brilliant negotiation skills and as far as sales go, she's the person I trust the most. She has a good eye for temperament/personality and potential. She's hit the nail on the head on horses my other trainer thought had potential but Mari knew just looking at them they weren't cut out for it and she was right. She can spot young horses and kinda tell how they're going to turn out. She's been right so far.

For sure! he's a totally different horse doing what he loves vs what he doesn't. I don't think he hates dressage, I just don't think he loves it enough to push up the levels with his conformation faults and muscle sensitivity. Dressage is very hard on the musculature.


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## Rainaisabelle

I vote for not rushing lol! The right horse usually just falls in your lap, I know that's what happened with Roy


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## knightrider

Oh wow, I've been gone for a month, and so many changes. I love reading your posts and as soon as I had some time, I started to catch up. My heart goes out to you. It was a terrible decision you had to make and I support you 100% in your decision. I hope Dante goes to a wonderful home and you keep getting all good reports from his new home. Then you'll know for sure it was right. We only want the best for you. It must be very sad and hard for you. You go girl.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- The other things I've been thinking about is when Pam goes to Florida over winter, who is going to keep the youngsters going? I'm guess I might have one or two to ride but *Shrugs* I'd assume she'd want them kept in work. So I may be better off on holding out buying a new horse and saving some more money or until the right one comes along. I love the dark bay mare I showed you but I have a suspicion she's going to be more than I'm willing to pay for her. She's my buddy though. Lays her head in my arms and lets me kiss her nose. She's so sweet and well behaved. Perfect for the farrier. But I've worked with so many horses and liked so many of them, when/if that doesn't work out I'm going to be okay.
> 
> And exactly. You can't rush changes or things. Right now I'm just focusing on walk to canter, simple changes and haunches in to prepare for changes. When I start preparing a horse for changes, I do haunches in into canter. I think it helps with teaching changes because to sell him as a hunter, I was told he needs a change. I'm not rushing it but I'm putting in the frame work to prepare for it and he'll let me know when he's ready. My original plan wasn't to put a change on until he started schooling 3rd. He changed over the fence our last go through.
> 
> But no with training and equipment there is NOT a one size fits all regime and anyone who thinks that way is not someone I'd want to train with either. Every horse is different. Their mouths, bodies and mind are unique to them. One bit doesn't work for every horse, one method, one idea doesn't work for every horse. I totally agree with being like if you're going to pressure me to use a bit, I KNOW my horse doesn't like you can ride not me. I'd have left too. And I also don't like the single joint, puts more pressure on the tongue and palette, I like the french links too and I LOVE herm sprenger. I've used the neue schule bits but I don't like them as much as herm sprenger.
> 
> I hope the next one is the one that I can keep a while. I want a horse that I really bond with, click with. I need a sweet horse that enjoys cuddles but at the same time be a hard worker and enjoy dressage with a good thinking mind. Sensitive and kind. I don't mind a little hot but not anxiety ridden, going to stress itself into a bad place. Another friend was trying to convince me to train another one up and sell it and not intend to keep it but I'm kinda getting tired of developing horses to a point and never getting to compete or really campaign or really build them up, just go back to the starting line and try again. I want a long term team mate. And I want a mare. I get along better with mares and just like their work ethic and personalities better in general.
> 
> Dante really has. I'm so happy and grateful he's found his calling in life and is really good at it. I was NOT at all expecting him to take care of me the way he did. It was an awkward line to get on because the arena is small and it was like a stride or 2 off the wall to the fence and an odd angle but Dante bailed me out when I made mistakes. I usually recovered well but I'm so out of practice, I keep saying at least I never thudded on his back or got him in the mouth. He seems so much happier. He gave pretty perfect walk to canter transitions, relaxed, through, stepping under and nice because he knew it meant he was going to jump and swapped leads over the fences. I was so impressed he worked that out so quickly. Does he have that consistently? IDK but he gets it. He can gage his own distance and has his own eye which is pretty impressive to me.
> 
> I have a feeling he'll go pretty quick too, as long as he vets well and everything. He's a packer over fences. I think he'd take of just about anybody, as long as they're kind, fair, not rough on him and stay out of his way and let him do his job. Mari said she thinks he'll be really nice if someone wanted to put their time into making him a hunter.
> 
> I think so too and Mari has brilliant negotiation skills and as far as sales go, she's the person I trust the most. She has a good eye for temperament/personality and potential. She's hit the nail on the head on horses my other trainer thought had potential but Mari knew just looking at them they weren't cut out for it and she was right. She can spot young horses and kinda tell how they're going to turn out. She's been right so far.
> 
> For sure! he's a totally different horse doing what he loves vs what he doesn't. I don't think he hates dressage, I just don't think he loves it enough to push up the levels with his conformation faults and muscle sensitivity. Dressage is very hard on the musculature.


Well, maybe she would still be available come spring? Is it Pam who owns her? Could you work the babies over winter, and have any money earned from that to go toward the purchase price of her? Just throwing out ideas. Though, saving to put it toward something could work too.

I do see a lot of people saying auto changes, but I can't imagine that'd be an enormous deal breaker if the person was riding with a trainer. Though, from a financial stand point, you would probably get more for him if he had changes. It does sound like you are setting a good frame work for him at least.

Yeah, Izzie has a low palette so a single joint bothers her. Something too thick bothers her too. It's something I'm very keen to with her, and I wasn't giving in. Least not with me in the saddle. He did back off from that when I challenged him to get on her and ride in it. All it would have taken would be one aid a bit stronger than she'd want, and he'd be in trouble. I've never tried the herm sprenger. The price tags scare me off :lol: haven't tried the neue schule ones either.

I disagree about getting one to train and sell. Maybe as a side project, but then you'd be in the position with two horses. It's extremely obvious from your writings that it's time for you to have your own to campaign and show, and really hit the levels. Not, train something up for someone else to go up the levels. I do agree with mares though :lol: they make you work for it, but their work ethic is second to none.

Definitely sounds like he's found his calling  the fact he saved your butt so many different times speaks volumes. He sounds like a totally new horse!

Hopefully he'll vet sound. You've had him worked over pretty regularly, so hopefully you've kept him together! I definitely think someone would want to put the time into making him a hunter. He's super cute, and if he'll save your butt like you say, then he'll be on his way in no time :lol:

She sounds like the perfect one to take, especially for the negotiation skill :lol: that is one thing I lack. And that she can spot talent. What does she think of the mare you showed me? Does she like her?

Well, yeah. He's clearly found where he belongs :lol: I'm sure dressage once in a while won't drive him nutty, but I think he likes his jumps :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Raina- Thank you. I hope it all works out for the best too! And it's funny how things like that work out. Sometimes the right one just comes around when you least expect it 
________________

Knightrider- it's been a long month. We've been through a lot. But thank you for the support and kind words. I really appreciate it. It wasn't an easy decision but one of the ladies at the barn suggested when people ask why I'm selling him, it's because I love him and know he'd be happier doing what he loves. And he'll be for sale to a good home only. I just want him to be well looked after but I also won't give him away. But thank you for the support 
________________

Katie-I think if I did buy the mare Pam owns, I think she'd rather I bought her and we made some kind of deal until she was paid for. But I think she's going to want more than she's worth. I haven't seen her go in a LONG time, so I don't know for sure but I remember thinking she had a good canter and a decent trot but she was still so baby and growing and unbalanced. It was really hard to judge. But I don't know what the plan will be over winter or anything really. It's kinda playing by ear which I'm not good at. I like structure but oh well. 

I wouldn't imagine so but I'd think we could put changes on him in the next few weeks. I'm not too worried about it because changes usually aren't too complicated to teach, as long as the frame work is there. I want to do quite a bit more with simple changes and walk to canters but I think he'll figure it out pretty quickly. He gets changing leads over the fence, not necessarily solid but he gets it. The only issue that may get in the way is how good his counter canter is, I probably did too much counter canter because he can do a 10-12m counter canter circle easily. I haven't asked for that in a LONG time but his counter canter is good, so his changes will have to come from aids and showing the expectation. He won't learn it by throwing his balance off and I wouldn't want to teach it that way anyway.

At least he backed off and listened when you asked him to take the risk and not you. Some people just don't listen. In general I don't think most horses like the single joint as much as the french links. I understand not wanting to spend that kind of money but I'll say I can tell the difference using a herm sprenger vs a different kind of bit. Mine is 8yrs old I think? It's a good bit and sometimes you can find used ones. I have the dynamic RS. And they are expensive and if Izzy is happy now, why bother changing? But if someone has one and you could try it, it might be worth it.

Here's a cheaper one. It doesn't have the technology behind it like the other ones but a good bit.
Herm Sprenger Copper Plus Double-Jointed Loose Ring Snaffle Bit | Dover Saddlery

Dynamic RS
https://www.smartpakequine.com/pt/herm-sprenger-dynamic-rs-aurigan-loose-ring-7107

And exactly! That's how I felt. Dressage is SUCH a long journey between breaking and taking a horse up the levels. I always say 5-6yrs to PSG if everything goes right without too many set backs. That particular friend has a very different view point about things from myself. She tends to be pretty critical of others and is kinda negative but not in a mean way. I think it's how she grew up and she means well, it's just taking what she says with a grain of salt. And I don't have the sales ability to buy and sell horses. I just want one for myself. I feel like I kinda get looked down on because I'm ALWAYS on babies or greenies, ALWAYS developing something and very rarely ride something higher level, so people dont realize you have done or can do more than that. And I do have this thing of I always feel the need to prove my worth like I'm never good enough :lol: and I just want to finally do it. I'm finally not dirt poor. My trainer, Pam agreed. I know 4yrs ago she said she thought it wouldn't take hardly any time at all to get me showing 4th level if I had a horse who was there and I just want to do it. I want to do it right, not pick up a horse and rush them up to show at level x but I'm ready for my turn. And mares are great, I always prefer them :lol: they think about things and don't blindly accept but they LISTEN and try so hard.

For sure!! I never expected that out of him, especially for how green he is over fences. He handled things like he was a pro. I was really proud of him, so I know he'll take good care of somebody as long as they're good and fair to him. Never in his life as a dressage horse has he ever stepped up when I made a mistake, it was any minor mistake he'd take it with a mile. He used to rear up in the leg yield if I didn't release in the right time. He's come a LONG way in the last year and a half.

I sure hope so. I know the vet has looked at him and he's been fine but who knows. And I really hope so. He really looked after me, most horses don't pack like that. I could see him being a children's hunter and doing a really awesome job at that with a trainer tuning him up. And he did. He saved my butt a quite a few times and made it work out. for the 2 stride I picked myself up and was ready so I'd usually ride the 2nd fence really well but getting on that line I was definitely showing how out of practice I am. Rookie mistakes.

Oh definitely!! I'm lousy at negotiations too and my other trainer isn't as good at negotiating and doesn't know the market like Mari does. Mari buys and sells all the time, so I really-really trust her. And she's never seen Frankie go, so she hasn't given an opinion one way or another but I know she's asking 15k for her filly who is broke walk, trot, canter and has hunter changes. 

Yeah. I think he'd be fine with dressage sometimes, I think he just can't cope with the pressure or expectation of collection and the quality/degree we were asking for. I think he had enough. We didnt rush or push him but I think it's just not his thing.


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## Rainaisabelle

I'm here to support you and everyone else because where would we be without it?


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie-I think if I did buy the mare Pam owns, I think she'd rather I bought her and we made some kind of deal until she was paid for. But I think she's going to want more than she's worth. I haven't seen her go in a LONG time, so I don't know for sure but I remember thinking she had a good canter and a decent trot but she was still so baby and growing and unbalanced. It was really hard to judge. But I don't know what the plan will be over winter or anything really. It's kinda playing by ear which I'm not good at. I like structure but oh well.
> 
> I wouldn't imagine so but I'd think we could put changes on him in the next few weeks. I'm not too worried about it because changes usually aren't too complicated to teach, as long as the frame work is there. I want to do quite a bit more with simple changes and walk to canters but I think he'll figure it out pretty quickly. He gets changing leads over the fence, not necessarily solid but he gets it. The only issue that may get in the way is how good his counter canter is, I probably did too much counter canter because he can do a 10-12m counter canter circle easily. I haven't asked for that in a LONG time but his counter canter is good, so his changes will have to come from aids and showing the expectation. He won't learn it by throwing his balance off and I wouldn't want to teach it that way anyway.
> 
> At least he backed off and listened when you asked him to take the risk and not you. Some people just don't listen. In general I don't think most horses like the single joint as much as the french links. I understand not wanting to spend that kind of money but I'll say I can tell the difference using a herm sprenger vs a different kind of bit. Mine is 8yrs old I think? It's a good bit and sometimes you can find used ones. I have the dynamic RS. And they are expensive and if Izzy is happy now, why bother changing? But if someone has one and you could try it, it might be worth it.
> 
> Here's a cheaper one. It doesn't have the technology behind it like the other ones but a good bit.
> Herm Sprenger Copper Plus Double-Jointed Loose Ring Snaffle Bit | Dover Saddlery
> 
> Dynamic RS
> https://www.smartpakequine.com/pt/herm-sprenger-dynamic-rs-aurigan-loose-ring-7107
> 
> And exactly! That's how I felt. Dressage is SUCH a long journey between breaking and taking a horse up the levels. I always say 5-6yrs to PSG if everything goes right without too many set backs. That particular friend has a very different view point about things from myself. She tends to be pretty critical of others and is kinda negative but not in a mean way. I think it's how she grew up and she means well, it's just taking what she says with a grain of salt. And I don't have the sales ability to buy and sell horses. I just want one for myself. I feel like I kinda get looked down on because I'm ALWAYS on babies or greenies, ALWAYS developing something and very rarely ride something higher level, so people dont realize you have done or can do more than that. And I do have this thing of I always feel the need to prove my worth like I'm never good enough :lol: and I just want to finally do it. I'm finally not dirt poor. My trainer, Pam agreed. I know 4yrs ago she said she thought it wouldn't take hardly any time at all to get me showing 4th level if I had a horse who was there and I just want to do it. I want to do it right, not pick up a horse and rush them up to show at level x but I'm ready for my turn. And mares are great, I always prefer them :lol: they think about things and don't blindly accept but they LISTEN and try so hard.
> 
> For sure!! I never expected that out of him, especially for how green he is over fences. He handled things like he was a pro. I was really proud of him, so I know he'll take good care of somebody as long as they're good and fair to him. Never in his life as a dressage horse has he ever stepped up when I made a mistake, it was any minor mistake he'd take it with a mile. He used to rear up in the leg yield if I didn't release in the right time. He's come a LONG way in the last year and a half.
> 
> I sure hope so. I know the vet has looked at him and he's been fine but who knows. And I really hope so. He really looked after me, most horses don't pack like that. I could see him being a children's hunter and doing a really awesome job at that with a trainer tuning him up. And he did. He saved my butt a quite a few times and made it work out. for the 2 stride I picked myself up and was ready so I'd usually ride the 2nd fence really well but getting on that line I was definitely showing how out of practice I am. Rookie mistakes.
> 
> Oh definitely!! I'm lousy at negotiations too and my other trainer isn't as good at negotiating and doesn't know the market like Mari does. Mari buys and sells all the time, so I really-really trust her. And she's never seen Frankie go, so she hasn't given an opinion one way or another but I know she's asking 15k for her filly who is broke walk, trot, canter and has hunter changes.
> 
> Yeah. I think he'd be fine with dressage sometimes, I think he just can't cope with the pressure or expectation of collection and the quality/degree we were asking for. I think he had enough. We didnt rush or push him but I think it's just not his thing.


Does she normally overprice her horses? Sometimes it's worth it to overpay a bit in the beginning, but not if we're talking in the tens of thousands of dollars. I openly admit I overpaid for Izzie at a whopping $1500 for a yearling with lackluster pedigree and no guarantee she could do what I'd want to do. Now, someone would have to give me at minimum 10 times that amount, and I'd still turn it down. But if we're talking a lot, than it's probably not worth it. *shrugs* I don't know. And I hate play it by ear situations :neutral: I'm also a planner.

Oops :lol: though, at that time, I don't think you were planning on training him to be a hunter. Will just be something for the new owner to be aware of; that you can't shove him off balance to get him to change. I prefer correct training anyway as opposed to just knocking the horse off balance.

Well, he didn't really back off. We just stopped going to him. He wasn't worth the money to go to, I didn't care for his pushing some things and not others. He didn't want Izzie on much of a contact (truly, I had my reins almost at free walk length all the time) yet he wanted her to walk to canter? I think we gave him 3 chances. Glad we just up and decided not to go back. Guy was nice enough, but not for real dressage. He actually said if the horse moves it's head at all, your arms should follow. Always. Even if they are flinging it being an idiot. That was our final final straw. Izzie is in this one currently, approved by the USDF up to Fourth Level (I sent countless emails with a WONDERFUL woman in the office when we were trying to find a bit Izzie would like):

Happy Mouth Loose Ring Copper Roller Snaffle Bit

Was the first bit she didn't actively try and put her tongue over repeatedly. No matter how much rein she had with a french link (just a plain metal one; not much fancy about it) she would try and get her tongue over it. She actually has two of those. One on her main bridle, and one on her costume bridle so we don't have to swap it around at all. I'd be open to trying the dynamic HS though if I found someone with one to try :lol: maybe I'll put Blair on the hunt for in case she happens to come across one on the cheaper side. If nothing else, it'd be another bit for my bit collection :lol:

It really is a long journey. And unless you're a professional in this sport, and doing this as a living, there is NO reason to just buy, train and sell. That makes zero sense to me. This is a hobby for you (as it is for me). I get some people find joy in doing that, and never striving to the higher levels. That is their prerogative. But no. You'll be happier when you find that forever horse that can make it to the FEI levels. I get being critical and negative, but come on. I can see you're tired of just constantly having babies to bring up the levels, and then them moving on. Babies are fun, but really. You can do both. Still help with the babies, but then bring along your own FEI horse. Just arg :lol: I hope you tell her you're tired of always riding the babies and greenies in shows, and then handing them off to someone "more capable (put in quotes since you are MORE than capable of riding them)" You'll get there though!! And YES! Mares aren't for everyone. I get that. But Izzie knows when it's time to stop and pay attention, and when she has a bit of leeway. I just always feel something else when I hit the ring with a mare as opposed to a gelding. I don't know what it is, but it's a very different feeling. And gotta love the discussion with mares :lol:

He really has come a long way! I'm glad you listened to him when he said "I don't want to do this." He is clearly happier now. I can't wait to see video of him going!! I just picture his ears up and just totally happy and relaxed! And rookie mistakes happen :lol: you've been out of practice for a while. I'm sure he'll vet fine though. You've taken care of everything that he needs taken care of!

That's a decent price on that filly. Least gives you some insight on what you could maybe ask for Dante after he has changes on him? One can hope at least!

And no, I know you didn't push him. Some horses just tolerate it for a bit, then go "this isn't what I want to do; why am I doing it???" Least he made it obvious for you that he was over it all. He'll be lots happier in a new career!


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## Skyseternalangel

I want in on your facebooks, ladies.


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## Rainaisabelle

Not sure if I was included but it's easy to find mine lol Raina isn't exactly a very common name and a horse in the picture haha


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## DanteDressageNerd

Raina- thank you and I agree. We all need support sometimes. Horses in general can be emotionally draining. It's great we all have each other.
____________________

Katie- she tends to overprice her horses to what she thinks they're worth but not necessarily what someone would be willing to pay. Like I think she'd ask a minimum of 15k for the filly but I'm not convinced that filly is a quality enough horse for 15k with no breaking, undersaddle, lunging in tack experience. If she's changed a lot since I've seen her, then sure she's worth it but not what I'd be willing to pay. It's in my price range but that's the high end of what I want to spend. But I agree. If you ever sold Izzy, I'd ask for at least 10 times what you paid. She's matured into a nice mare! 

And exactly! I hate playing by ear in general, I need structure and a schedule without it life is a mess and I flat out don't want to do it.

No. Being a hunter-jumper definitely wasnt in the cards. Last year I started him some over fences but he didn't seem to take to it, so I stopped. This year he seems to really enjoy it! But fortunately from what I've learned from Mari is there are a lot of really good hunter rider who ride kinda like we do. The good ones ride well, so I think that won't be an issue with getting the lead changes. The good ones train them by asking vs throwing them off balance and from what I've been learning how they ride is how Dante like to be ridden, so I'm glad about that. I kinda think we're going to keep training Dante for another few weeks or month before we advertise. I think Mari sees potential in him and we're not advertising until we can show what he can or could do. In the end I have an idea of what I'd like to ask but I'm not certain what he'll be priced at. 

That guy sounds interesting but I definitely agree with your decision not to train with him anymore. But the stuff of moving with the horses head no matter how naughty a tantrum they throw makes baby tantrums a lot worse in my experience. You have to address the issue and let them work it out, not give let them throw a tantrum and reward them for it. But definitely if you find a herm sprenger bit to try, you might as well. I feel a BIG difference using them, I tried my old Korsteel eggbutt snaffle I had on my eventer for stadium and I don't like it. I laid it on my arm to feel and it pinches, so I imagine it pinches the tongue too vs the herm sprenger bit is smooth and nothing pinches or tugs, just sits. But Izzy's bit seems fine and if she likes it, that's what matters. So funny how they can be so odd about different bits. It makes sense but it's still interesting to me.

It really is and it gets frustrating. With the horses I trained, the reason I didn't get to keep building with some of them is because I wasn't leasing or owning. I was pretty poor. I was paid to ride them to a point where they were safe enough and well trained enough for someone to buy or lease or their owner could ride them again. Or I'd get horses I had the liberty to ride or was paid to ride because they were mentally unstable and unpredictable. I learned a TON from those horses but they wouldn't be ones I'd buy. I had a bunch of re-training projects and some of them were too far gone to really fix, so they never went past a certain point. And the rehab horses, I basically got going and kept sound, successful rehab is an art and once they were going well and consistently sound, someone who was paying their bills would take them over. And some Pam would take from me once they got going. Same will happen with these babies, once they get going well enough Pam will take them over. She just can't take the risk breaking anymore since her back is held together with rods and pins. It just gets frustrating after a while, I rode schoolmasters sometimes and could ride them pretty well but that was rare. But I know what you mean by "more capable" Pam is definitely a way better rider than me, I have no problem passing them onto her but at the same time you want to get up there too.

And EXACTLY! As an adult amateur, this is a hobby and what you enjoy. You want to build a bond, connection and grow with a horse. Not trade them off as meaningless. That particular friend that said that, I think it's cultural and she looks at it from a purely practical, monetary perspective vs a feeling, emotional perspective. I tend to be a balance of both. Oh for sure. A lot of people dont' get along with mares and dont ride them well. A mare will call you out on your [email protected] and will notice things a gelding wont because they really listen and tend not to tune the rider out which is what I like about them. They really listen, pay attention and think. And as you said, they bring something extra into the show ring when they go out. But thanks. I hope it works out sometime :lol: just gotta keep at it I guess.

Thank you  he really has. And I'm happy we found his thing and what makes him happy. I'm looking forward to getting some video too!! I'd love to see how we're doing over fences. And that's true. Riding fences is different from riding dressage. A lot of the same stuff applies but form is different, what you focus on, think about is different. It's just different. I'm doing better, I still make a lot of mistakes from being out of practice and inexperienced but otherwise it's pretty decent or at least I think so. 

And exactly. Horses have things they love or don't love doing. I used to think that was hogs wash and if you do it right most horses could like a certain job. Now I think horses are as opinionated as people, some like Nick are perfectly capable and smart but they need to be out there doing something vs working behind a desk. Same with horses I think.
_______________________

Sky- I'll PM you.
________________________

Update

Yesterday I rode the babies. Deveroux is walk-trot off the lunge line *yay* I learned quite a bit riding him yesterday, it was a really good ride. Pam said I could probably start riding him while she's riding a different horse. Saturday was really good, Qira is really good. I'm proud of her. Haven't ridden Friday yet this week. But the babies are good. Today we only did Qira because it was SO SO hot by the time we got around to babies. It's overall positive working with the babies.

I rode Dante dressage yesterday and in complete honesty it was miserable. He is ridiculously hard to ride well, if I wanted to jerk him around and force him into a position okay but to get his back up, through, ACTUALLY give in his rib cage and not be a total ***** is hard. I honestly hated riding him, we did laterals almost the whole ride to get him to work over his back, give in his rib cage, unlock his jaw, not brace. It was just unpleasant. I rode my butt off in laterals getting him to bend properly and listen and use his body correctly. We leg yielded from the wall to centerline and back both ways. He was also SUPER over reactive but dull to lateral aids. Like explosive, it took everything I had not to get ran off with for half the ride. We had some awesome lengthenings but it was partially huge powerful stride and hoping to manage it without losing the suppleness because he wanted to run off and brace. But laterals like shoulder in and leg yield I rode fairly steep because he was being such a jerk and running through my half halts, it was frustrating. Haunches in we did quite a bit of because it would get him through, then serpentine simple changes. In canter he was being so rude left about the outside shoulder I gave him canter piroette aids and made him do quarter turns (we are NOT working on that at all) it was just you will respect my outside aids. I wouldn't usually do that but he was being obnoxious. I didn't lose my temper or get angry but he's not cut out to be a dressage horse. I wasn't mean to him, I wasn't asking for anything crazy. He just doesn't want to do it, it takes EVERYTHING I have to ride him and to get him supple, over his back. Things I have already on not even broke babies. It's ridiculous. I watched some of my videos I've posted on here and I look at it like I'm working my butt off to get so little from him like the only reason he's kinda cooperating is because I've left no holes for him to go through but he's still looking for him. Every ride it just feels like he's looking for any possible reason not to do it. I had to ride strong which I don't like. Overall I'm done trying dressage on him. Just done. 

We had a jumping lesson today and he was pretty good. A bit of a jerk but I put a different bit on him (eggbutt snaffle) because my hunter bridle is too big (it was my 17h eventers) and the loose ring doesn't fit but he's going back in the dressage bridle, I don't think he liked that bit. The less I did, the better her did. We still ride them to the connection or bit even over fences. We let them look, it's not a dressage frame but it's not a braced from the base of the neck seeing the stars frame people sometimes think of horses going over fences. I rode a lot better, my form is a lot better but I need to get out of his way more and stop trying to manage the situation and let him do his job. When I did that Dante was perfect. The other thing is he needs to take larger canter steps. I think today he backed off because of the heat (I rode in the morning) but it was still HOT in the 100s today plus humidity but he needs to take bigger strides because he is a smaller horse at almost 16h but he has the stride. I'm still working it out but I rode a lot better this ride, Dante needed help today.


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## DanteDressageNerd

And when I rode the temperature was in the 80s, not the 100s yet.


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## frlsgirl

I wonder if Dante thinks he's a Jumper now and shouldn't have to be bothered with all this Dressage nonsense anymore? I agree the heat is brutal; I've been hiding in the covered arena with Ana; at least we have a bit of a breeze going through there so that helps.


----------



## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- she tends to overprice her horses to what she thinks they're worth but not necessarily what someone would be willing to pay. Like I think she'd ask a minimum of 15k for the filly but I'm not convinced that filly is a quality enough horse for 15k with no breaking, undersaddle, lunging in tack experience. If she's changed a lot since I've seen her, then sure she's worth it but not what I'd be willing to pay. It's in my price range but that's the high end of what I want to spend. But I agree. If you ever sold Izzy, I'd ask for at least 10 times what you paid. She's matured into a nice mare!
> 
> And exactly! I hate playing by ear in general, I need structure and a schedule without it life is a mess and I flat out don't want to do it.
> 
> No. Being a hunter-jumper definitely wasnt in the cards. Last year I started him some over fences but he didn't seem to take to it, so I stopped. This year he seems to really enjoy it! But fortunately from what I've learned from Mari is there are a lot of really good hunter rider who ride kinda like we do. The good ones ride well, so I think that won't be an issue with getting the lead changes. The good ones train them by asking vs throwing them off balance and from what I've been learning how they ride is how Dante like to be ridden, so I'm glad about that. I kinda think we're going to keep training Dante for another few weeks or month before we advertise. I think Mari sees potential in him and we're not advertising until we can show what he can or could do. In the end I have an idea of what I'd like to ask but I'm not certain what he'll be priced at.
> 
> That guy sounds interesting but I definitely agree with your decision not to train with him anymore. But the stuff of moving with the horses head no matter how naughty a tantrum they throw makes baby tantrums a lot worse in my experience. You have to address the issue and let them work it out, not give let them throw a tantrum and reward them for it. But definitely if you find a herm sprenger bit to try, you might as well. I feel a BIG difference using them, I tried my old Korsteel eggbutt snaffle I had on my eventer for stadium and I don't like it. I laid it on my arm to feel and it pinches, so I imagine it pinches the tongue too vs the herm sprenger bit is smooth and nothing pinches or tugs, just sits. But Izzy's bit seems fine and if she likes it, that's what matters. So funny how they can be so odd about different bits. It makes sense but it's still interesting to me.
> 
> It really is and it gets frustrating. With the horses I trained, the reason I didn't get to keep building with some of them is because I wasn't leasing or owning. I was pretty poor. I was paid to ride them to a point where they were safe enough and well trained enough for someone to buy or lease or their owner could ride them again. Or I'd get horses I had the liberty to ride or was paid to ride because they were mentally unstable and unpredictable. I learned a TON from those horses but they wouldn't be ones I'd buy. I had a bunch of re-training projects and some of them were too far gone to really fix, so they never went past a certain point. And the rehab horses, I basically got going and kept sound, successful rehab is an art and once they were going well and consistently sound, someone who was paying their bills would take them over. And some Pam would take from me once they got going. Same will happen with these babies, once they get going well enough Pam will take them over. She just can't take the risk breaking anymore since her back is held together with rods and pins. It just gets frustrating after a while, I rode schoolmasters sometimes and could ride them pretty well but that was rare. But I know what you mean by "more capable" Pam is definitely a way better rider than me, I have no problem passing them onto her but at the same time you want to get up there too.
> 
> And EXACTLY! As an adult amateur, this is a hobby and what you enjoy. You want to build a bond, connection and grow with a horse. Not trade them off as meaningless. That particular friend that said that, I think it's cultural and she looks at it from a purely practical, monetary perspective vs a feeling, emotional perspective. I tend to be a balance of both. Oh for sure. A lot of people dont' get along with mares and dont ride them well. A mare will call you out on your [email protected] and will notice things a gelding wont because they really listen and tend not to tune the rider out which is what I like about them. They really listen, pay attention and think. And as you said, they bring something extra into the show ring when they go out. But thanks. I hope it works out sometime :lol: just gotta keep at it I guess.
> 
> Thank you  he really has. And I'm happy we found his thing and what makes him happy. I'm looking forward to getting some video too!! I'd love to see how we're doing over fences. And that's true. Riding fences is different from riding dressage. A lot of the same stuff applies but form is different, what you focus on, think about is different. It's just different. I'm doing better, I still make a lot of mistakes from being out of practice and inexperienced but otherwise it's pretty decent or at least I think so.
> 
> And exactly. Horses have things they love or don't love doing. I used to think that was hogs wash and if you do it right most horses could like a certain job. Now I think horses are as opinionated as people, some like Nick are perfectly capable and smart but they need to be out there doing something vs working behind a desk. Same with horses I think.
> ________________________
> 
> Update
> 
> Yesterday I rode the babies. Deveroux is walk-trot off the lunge line *yay* I learned quite a bit riding him yesterday, it was a really good ride. Pam said I could probably start riding him while she's riding a different horse. Saturday was really good, Qira is really good. I'm proud of her. Haven't ridden Friday yet this week. But the babies are good. Today we only did Qira because it was SO SO hot by the time we got around to babies. It's overall positive working with the babies.
> 
> I rode Dante dressage yesterday and in complete honesty it was miserable. He is ridiculously hard to ride well, if I wanted to jerk him around and force him into a position okay but to get his back up, through, ACTUALLY give in his rib cage and not be a total ***** is hard. I honestly hated riding him, we did laterals almost the whole ride to get him to work over his back, give in his rib cage, unlock his jaw, not brace. It was just unpleasant. I rode my butt off in laterals getting him to bend properly and listen and use his body correctly. We leg yielded from the wall to centerline and back both ways. He was also SUPER over reactive but dull to lateral aids. Like explosive, it took everything I had not to get ran off with for half the ride. We had some awesome lengthenings but it was partially huge powerful stride and hoping to manage it without losing the suppleness because he wanted to run off and brace. But laterals like shoulder in and leg yield I rode fairly steep because he was being such a jerk and running through my half halts, it was frustrating. Haunches in we did quite a bit of because it would get him through, then serpentine simple changes. In canter he was being so rude left about the outside shoulder I gave him canter piroette aids and made him do quarter turns (we are NOT working on that at all) it was just you will respect my outside aids. I wouldn't usually do that but he was being obnoxious. I didn't lose my temper or get angry but he's not cut out to be a dressage horse. I wasn't mean to him, I wasn't asking for anything crazy. He just doesn't want to do it, it takes EVERYTHING I have to ride him and to get him supple, over his back. Things I have already on not even broke babies. It's ridiculous. I watched some of my videos I've posted on here and I look at it like I'm working my butt off to get so little from him like the only reason he's kinda cooperating is because I've left no holes for him to go through but he's still looking for him. Every ride it just feels like he's looking for any possible reason not to do it. I had to ride strong which I don't like. Overall I'm done trying dressage on him. Just done.
> 
> We had a jumping lesson today and he was pretty good. A bit of a jerk but I put a different bit on him (eggbutt snaffle) because my hunter bridle is too big (it was my 17h eventers) and the loose ring doesn't fit but he's going back in the dressage bridle, I don't think he liked that bit. The less I did, the better her did. We still ride them to the connection or bit even over fences. We let them look, it's not a dressage frame but it's not a braced from the base of the neck seeing the stars frame people sometimes think of horses going over fences. I rode a lot better, my form is a lot better but I need to get out of his way more and stop trying to manage the situation and let him do his job. When I did that Dante was perfect. The other thing is he needs to take larger canter steps. I think today he backed off because of the heat (I rode in the morning) but it was still HOT in the 100s today plus humidity but he needs to take bigger strides because he is a smaller horse at almost 16h but he has the stride. I'm still working it out but I rode a lot better this ride, Dante needed help today.


Hmm, yeah, if she's something pretty stellar, than yeah. But for a nice horse with zero training? That seems awfully high :neutral: I think for that budget you could get something with that little of training with some incredible movement. But then again, I have ZERO idea about the market anymore :lol: and thanks! Yeah, 15k wouldn't buy her from us :lol:

I understand that. I enjoy some surprises, and letting the day flow. But overall, there is plan and structure to my future. Even if it doesn't always seem like there is :lol:

That's good to hear there are a lot of hunter riders that ride and train like you do. Should make the transition a bit smoother! Glad Mari sees potential in him as a hunter though! Should help with the marketing!

Yeah. I'll send you who it is, and show you the flier that gets passed around when his clinics pop up again. Like, I know the horse's head moves at the walk and canter. But this guy wanted spaghetti arms. TOTALLY opposite of what I was taught. I just feel that sets yourself up for a lot of issues down the road. And yeah, I need to mention it to Blair if she stumbles across one. She is amazing at finding what people want (so, if you have any tack needs..... she can totally be a personal shopper lol) And yeah, she's frustrating with bits. She makes it WELL known if she dislikes it. Will make a double interesting until we find her favorite combo :lol: good thing we have a few years until then!

Well, yeah, I understand that too. That's how I grew up too. Only ever leasing, catch riding, or training. Mom and Dad refused to buy me a horse. They almost did, but the horse I think was donated to be sold by MSU :sad: mom still thinks of him, and reminds me she would have bought him for me. Oh well. I got what I wanted anyway by being patient. But anyway, I KNOW you are plenty capable. I know you know I didn't mean to make it sound I thought you weren't :lol: but I get that. Pam can't afford to be hurt again. You're young and you stick lol but once they are going, she'll take over when there is a lesser chance of hitting the ground. At least she trusts you to put a solid foundation on them before she takes them over! I know it sucks handing them back, but it's kind of a compliment how much she trusts you to start them. Especially with all the hardware she has in her back.

That could be. But yeah, we want a partner in and out of the saddle. You want a buddy that you can groom, love on and grow with. Not one you'll send on down the line as they go up the levels. I know your next partner will be it. I just know it. The one that you'll earn your Bronze, Silver, and Gold on. I just know it. And yes, mares call you out on if you're being unfair or incorrect. My best friends mare will gape her mouth wide open if you're caught hanging. She doesn't do anything naughty, but she announces it to EVERYONE around her by opening her mouth like that. Mares are definitely for riders who like a challenge, but will have a "battle buddy" essentially :lol:

I'm sure you two look great together  gosh, I can hardly wait to see a video! I really foresee him getting snapped up FAST!

I've always believed in it :lol: just as I'd HATE to work in fast food, a horse can HATE the chosen career. They certainly are as opinionated as people are :lol: and exactly. Nick has all the brains to make an incredible CEO or something, but he's such a hands on guy he'd be MISERABLE forced behind a desk. Dante wants to jump, to literally spread his wings and fly. Dressage to him is like desk work for Nick. Dry and boring lol

I'm glad the babies did so well!! That has to be a good feeling!!

Sorry Dante was so awful :sad: definitely seems like he is DONE with Dressage too.

I'm sure he'll get there with regards to the canter. He seems happy, so I bet he'll do whatever it takes to make this his job :lol: glad you rode better too! Funny how it all comes back :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I think Dante's just happier being a hunter and ridden in a lower frame. I think he doesn't like all the lateral or collective work. It's very muscularly demanding. But sad thing for Dante is hunter-jumpers still do lateral work, just in a lower frame. But definitely having a covered arena and a breeze makes a BIG difference in this heat/humidity. It's brutal!!
________________________

Katie- yeah that's how I feel. The filly is well bred and the problem is she loves me/she makes me butter when I handle her. She followed me around her paddock and when I dumped/refilled her water. She stuck her head in my arms and was like but I love you, pay attention to me and she nickered at me when she saw me earlier today and I was like I'm in trouble :lol: Plus I thought about it too, my saddle that's coming has a curved tree and she has a curved back, so it could be made to fit her. She's at least 16.1h right now and I think she'll finish 16.2-3 and if I bought her, I wouldn't have to pay travel fees or shipping or trainer fees, etc. IF and that's IF it works out, I'm not going to force it, if it's not meant to be and I NEED to see her move but I'm still considering. She was premium at her inspection and she IS a nice filly. I just haven't seen her go since December? Right now she's not had tack on or lunged but once? I rode her mother, her brother (who I'm riding now) is really good. And mom had a really good temperament but her brain was fried by that trainer I showed you. She had callouses the size of small rocks around where the spurs were and she was schooling training level in a double bridle :-( 

And no she's family Izzy is staying right where she's at!! And structure is nice so you can at least make plans and build your life around that schedule!

And yes Mari telling me about hunter rider ride gave me a TON of confidence that he's going to be in a good situation because they ride how Dante likes to be ridden. Soft hands, ridden more from seat and position, open thighs, etc. They're taught to be very subtle which Dante will appreciate and it's a lot more of leaving him to his own devices, still helping with balance, straightness, etc but letting him make decisions which he likes. I'm SO incredibly grateful he likes it and is SO SO SO much more ridable as a hunter, SO SO SO SO grateful. I hope it does. I hope it's a smooth transition and he goes somewhere with turnout and a good mommy.

I'd be curious to see who he is but I agree spaghetti arms is a compromised position that sets you up for mishap and issues. Eek. And absolutely! Give Blair a heads up, especially if she's so good at coming across good deals or can find you what you're looking for. It's worth taking a look and seeing if Izzy likes it. I like that those bits don't pinch and are angled to fit in their mouth more comfortably than the cheaper bits. And YES double bridle shopping is an art but the good news is, if you aren't showing FEI but the USDF/USEF classes even to GP you can ride in a snaffle. I have pictures of Mari riding the GP in a snaffle on her stallion.

With those kind of situation, it kinda gives you momentary regret but then as you think about it makes you see how/why certain things had to work out as they did to lead you down the road you are on now. And :lol: no hard feelings or offense taken :lol: but thank you for clarifying. And thank you. I feel a lot more capable riding other horses vs riding Dante. It gave me a HUGE confidence boost, I was feeling really defeated with Dante because it took so much to do so little. And exactly!! It was a big confidence boost when Pam said you know there is a reason I asked you to ride the babies, I know you go a good job with them and that was really nice to hear. It is definitely a compliment to be asked to ride the babies. She let me ride Dev on my own today which was a good compliment, she'd chime in occasionally but she trusts me to ride him while she rode another horse in the morning. And yeah Pam broke her back on a young horse (really stupid thing) over a fence the horse made a minor mistake and she just landed flat on her bum and broke it. Pam used to school advanced level eventing, so she's jumped 4'6 courses. But yeah. She can't risk it anymore.

Exactly!! I want a horse to basically be my best friend in a way. Something I bond with and enjoy grooming, loving on and working with. But thank you I really hope you're right and this will be my team partner for a long time. I kinda have a feeling about the filly. She's a tough girl. And exactly!! That's what I love about mares (and some geldings) is they tell on you and they let you know their opinion about the situation. They wont cover it up. And I love how you phrase that, that is EXACTLY why I love mares. They'll challenge you and make you think about things but at the end of the day they're your battle buddy and they will have you back! I've also seen mares look after more novice riders in a way I've never seen a gelding do. There are a lot of great things about mares.

I don't know how great we'll look. I actually have NO videos of me jumping. I have some pictures from when I started out but nothing when I was going because I didn't show much and that was before camera phones but I'd love to see the video too :lol: And I hope so. I hope someone good gets him and he has a great, happy life but I'm excited for video too. I want to see what he looks like over fences with a person riding him!

lol exactly. I guess Dante is like Nick. He's very smart and capable but just isn't cut out for a desk job. He needs a job where he's thinking, the goal is clear and he can make his own decisions. Honestly the less a rider does on him, the happier he is. And unfortunately in dressage he always has to listen and cooperate vs making his own judgment calls. They still have to listen as a jumper-hunter but they get to make judgments. And likewise I've worked in fastfood and HATED it, so I hear you there!

It really was! It's really encouraging to work with the babies and realize I'm not a bad rider which I feel like when I ride Dante because of how hard he can be to ride. And he was pretty bad but it showed me I'm doing the right thing for him to change his career, rather than to keep throwing money at something when it's really he just needs a new job to be happy. 

And thanks! I was surprised how much seemed to come back to me, like I had more confidence and feel. I wouldn't feel comfortable jumping on my own because I'm afraid I'd screw up but I feel like I'm getting it and more able to help Dante through and do a good enough job that he's receiving good training. I'm in balance and release well but the distance I don't always see but I'm getting there and riding my lines better/planning better. We're getting his training there. Dante can see his own distance and I can set a rhythm, so I guess that says something?
__________________________

Update

Today Dante had the day off but I rode 2 babies Friday and Dev and I got to ride an FEI german pony! I havent' ridden a school master in YEARS and he was SO SO cool. It was weird a lot of things started coming to me and he doesn't ride like a pony. He is a powerhouse and WAY WAY bouncier than Dante. He is a huge mover, so incredible/fancy. We got the passagey, suspension trot and I had to remember how to ride and upper level horse vs riding babies. He's a strong ride, so incredibly powerful you really have to hold yourself and need a MUCH stronger contact on him then you'd think but he goes ten times better and gets way lighter. With core/seat half halts and organization. It was so cool and I'm so grateful! It was neat.

The boys were SO good. Dev is off the lunge line and he was awesome. Riding him today I just thought. Yep. This is sad when I'm riding a barely broke horse and he's 10 times easier to ride than Dante. I told Pam, it was frustrating because I look at the videos of me on Dante and it just looks like I don't know what I'm doing and fighting for absolutely every little thing. It confirmed to me I'm making the right decision when I can ride a not even really broke or barely broke, figuring out how to steer horses and ride them through WAY WAY easier than Dante. It was like a light went off and it was like what do you know I do know what I'm doing :lol: it was a HUGE confidence boost for me and Pam and I exchanged stories that were nice/encouraging. I told her there is a reason I came back after getting out of the Marines I looked on the East coast and they just didnt' have the quality of training she offered. And I told her about the filly sticking her head in my arms and giving me kisses and she was like ahh she says Cassie are you going to be my new mommy? And I laughed, maybe. 

I loved on Dante and hosed him off because of the heat and he was a love. Called to me every time he saw me and he wanted snuggles and hugs. So he was loved on a lot. He seems so happy  he's just a hunter pony now. Gave me a head massage, he looked pretty pleased with himself 

A few pictures of the filly. I look terrible because I'd been sweating all day and I'm practically an albino and it's even worse under the sun because my hair is even blonder than it was, so lol not flattering but I feel loved and she's so darn cute. 



And Dante loves the fan. He has to have his mouth on everything. He's a toddler but a cute one :lol: anything he can play with he will. Dante is still my baby. He is not short on love. He got tons of kisses, a neck massage and lots of attention on his day off. I hosed him off due to the heat.






AND just so everyone knows this is a face that is up to NOTHING good. He flipped the muck bucket the other day and spilled the content with the shovel. He's a clean horse but he wanted to get my attention while I was picking his feet.


He also didn't want to stand still but I got pictures.


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## Rainaisabelle

Aw what a filly! I know how you feel about buying a horse you can love on! Roys such a sook he loves to get selfies taken and get groom etc lol


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## knightrider

Yesterday I made a slideshow about having to give up a horse and dedicated it partly to you. But the music didn't really fit your situation, so I made another, just for you and Dante. I hope you like it. This seems to be the only way I can make it work. I am not very computer savvy, but I thought it would be fun to make this . . . and it was.

What I Did For Love Video by knightrider_012 | Photobucket


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## DanteDressageNerd

Raina- exactly you need a horse you can love on and enjoy every day. Roy probably loves being doted on and loved by such an attentive horse mom! and yes I adore that filly. She's so sweet and nice to work with. Great for the farrier, good about baths (she does dance though) and she's just good in general. 
_____________________

Knightrider- that is incredibly sweet of you to do. You really didn't have to make me something but thank you. The song is lovely. My eyes get leaky when people go out of their way to do something for me, so thank you. That's really sweet  

And sometimes you have to give them up to another situation because you know it's better for them. You don't love them any less, you just know the reality of the situation. Horses are WAY too expensive and time consuming to be kept as pets, especially if you board.


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## knightrider

You are welcome. I'm not very skilled--it's the thought that counts. What you are doing is hard and unselfish, wanting the best for Dante. It's clear you love him and want him to be happy. I was just thinking about it a lot and thought I'd try to make a little tribute to him.. . and your hard work with him. I hope for the best for you.


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## Tihannah

I'm sorry, Cassie, but I'm gonna have to disagree with you for once. I watch ALL your videos on Dante, and I think you look amazing! When you write about it, it sounds SO hard, but when I watch you ride it looks almost seamless, even when he's throwing a tantrum. You handle it so well and just ride him through it and the struggle you describe is not even evident. When I struggle with Tess, we're all over the place! Lol.

I'm really glad that he's found a niche with jumping, and I'm really pulling for you guys that you find the perfect match for both him and yourself.


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## DanteDressageNerd

knightrider- thank you. It it very nice, I like it a lot. The thought and consideration matter a lot to me. Thank you  we're doing our best to get him into a good situation. In about 2 weeks or when my trainer says to, I'm putting Dante into professional training with a hunter-jumper of Mari's choice. She already knows a trainer she thinks would ride him well and teach him what he needs to know to be a nice hunter and find a good home.
_____________________

Tanja- thank you. I tend to be very nit picky and hard on myself because I am a perfectionist at heart and I'm hard on myself. I look at things and I see a lot of ways to improve and what needs to be worked on and things that are really hard to address. Dante's really tricky to ride well in a higher, dressage frame. Hunter-low frame not so tricky but dressage frame you really have to know what you're doing and then it's still a struggle to make him correct. It's hard but I learned a heck of a lot from him and am so grateful for the opportunity. 

But thank you for the encouragement. I really appreciate it  we're all hard on ourselves. And we all struggle, the important thing is we continue on and do our very best.
_____________________

Update: unfortunately I don't have a ton of time to spend on here but I got some video from our lesson today. Again note this is our 4th jumping lesson and before that, it'd been 9 years since I've had a jumping lesson. The saddle is also too tight over his wither but that's all we have atm, so I didn't emphasize throughness as much. It's not fair to him. I will be putting him into professional training at some point.

Dante flat and lead change. Other direction he changed in front but not behind, so we're just working on changes during lessons and chipping at it a little bit at a time.











My mistake











Final jump. First time schooling verticles since last year. I'm really proud of him. He's a good boy. He loves this.

There is another video my trainer took but I can't upload that onto youtube :-(






I've also started to pull Dante's mane. It will take a little while because it was SO long and I don't want it growing in all at once. It's looking a lot better and he's really good, I just started pulling in his stall and he started falling asleep. Dante was also body clipped last night and bathed before the body clip. It really brought out his dapples and I hope he'll be more comfortable. 




Now


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## DanteDressageNerd

Forgot to add the best two pictures from today. They are not the above ones. I wish I had some pictures from the side but I'm happy to have pictures and video. 





I'm really-super proud of him. He loves this and he has the right form, movement and mind to make a really excellent hunter. I hope it works out for him. He LOVES it. He's a totally different horse to ride, even though the saddle is too tight. One of my hunter friends said I was doing a really good job with him and I should be proud to give him a good start and then put him in a professional's hands to start his career. She said if he were taller she'd be interested. He's a cm under 16h, so he's unfortunately on the small side but at least he's about 16h. But so far they think he's nice enough to be competitive on the open circuit which is good and he'd definitely be competitive on the arabian circuit. 

I also spent time with my favorite filly and loved on her with my sister. She didn't know my sister, she was friendly but she was watchful of my sister, like you can't touch me here or there, I don't know you. She's a smart little girl. She's bigger then I realized, I really want to stick her. She's at least 16.1h, if not 16.2h and still growing. Her body has changed a lot. She has a curved back and she's my first pick if everything works out well. I just love her but we'll see how things go.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- yeah that's how I feel. The filly is well bred and the problem is she loves me/she makes me butter when I handle her. She followed me around her paddock and when I dumped/refilled her water. She stuck her head in my arms and was like but I love you, pay attention to me and she nickered at me when she saw me earlier today and I was like I'm in trouble :lol: Plus I thought about it too, my saddle that's coming has a curved tree and she has a curved back, so it could be made to fit her. She's at least 16.1h right now and I think she'll finish 16.2-3 and if I bought her, I wouldn't have to pay travel fees or shipping or trainer fees, etc. IF and that's IF it works out, I'm not going to force it, if it's not meant to be and I NEED to see her move but I'm still considering. She was premium at her inspection and she IS a nice filly. I just haven't seen her go since December? Right now she's not had tack on or lunged but once? I rode her mother, her brother (who I'm riding now) is really good. And mom had a really good temperament but her brain was fried by that trainer I showed you. She had callouses the size of small rocks around where the spurs were and she was schooling training level in a double bridle :-(
> 
> And no she's family Izzy is staying right where she's at!! And structure is nice so you can at least make plans and build your life around that schedule!
> 
> And yes Mari telling me about hunter rider ride gave me a TON of confidence that he's going to be in a good situation because they ride how Dante likes to be ridden. Soft hands, ridden more from seat and position, open thighs, etc. They're taught to be very subtle which Dante will appreciate and it's a lot more of leaving him to his own devices, still helping with balance, straightness, etc but letting him make decisions which he likes. I'm SO incredibly grateful he likes it and is SO SO SO much more ridable as a hunter, SO SO SO SO grateful. I hope it does. I hope it's a smooth transition and he goes somewhere with turnout and a good mommy.
> 
> I'd be curious to see who he is but I agree spaghetti arms is a compromised position that sets you up for mishap and issues. Eek. And absolutely! Give Blair a heads up, especially if she's so good at coming across good deals or can find you what you're looking for. It's worth taking a look and seeing if Izzy likes it. I like that those bits don't pinch and are angled to fit in their mouth more comfortably than the cheaper bits. And YES double bridle shopping is an art but the good news is, if you aren't showing FEI but the USDF/USEF classes even to GP you can ride in a snaffle. I have pictures of Mari riding the GP in a snaffle on her stallion.
> 
> With those kind of situation, it kinda gives you momentary regret but then as you think about it makes you see how/why certain things had to work out as they did to lead you down the road you are on now. And :lol: no hard feelings or offense taken :lol: but thank you for clarifying. And thank you. I feel a lot more capable riding other horses vs riding Dante. It gave me a HUGE confidence boost, I was feeling really defeated with Dante because it took so much to do so little. And exactly!! It was a big confidence boost when Pam said you know there is a reason I asked you to ride the babies, I know you go a good job with them and that was really nice to hear. It is definitely a compliment to be asked to ride the babies. She let me ride Dev on my own today which was a good compliment, she'd chime in occasionally but she trusts me to ride him while she rode another horse in the morning. And yeah Pam broke her back on a young horse (really stupid thing) over a fence the horse made a minor mistake and she just landed flat on her bum and broke it. Pam used to school advanced level eventing, so she's jumped 4'6 courses. But yeah. She can't risk it anymore.
> 
> Exactly!! I want a horse to basically be my best friend in a way. Something I bond with and enjoy grooming, loving on and working with. But thank you I really hope you're right and this will be my team partner for a long time. I kinda have a feeling about the filly. She's a tough girl. And exactly!! That's what I love about mares (and some geldings) is they tell on you and they let you know their opinion about the situation. They wont cover it up. And I love how you phrase that, that is EXACTLY why I love mares. They'll challenge you and make you think about things but at the end of the day they're your battle buddy and they will have you back! I've also seen mares look after more novice riders in a way I've never seen a gelding do. There are a lot of great things about mares.
> 
> I don't know how great we'll look. I actually have NO videos of me jumping. I have some pictures from when I started out but nothing when I was going because I didn't show much and that was before camera phones but I'd love to see the video too :lol: And I hope so. I hope someone good gets him and he has a great, happy life but I'm excited for video too. I want to see what he looks like over fences with a person riding him!
> 
> lol exactly. I guess Dante is like Nick. He's very smart and capable but just isn't cut out for a desk job. He needs a job where he's thinking, the goal is clear and he can make his own decisions. Honestly the less a rider does on him, the happier he is. And unfortunately in dressage he always has to listen and cooperate vs making his own judgment calls. They still have to listen as a jumper-hunter but they get to make judgments. And likewise I've worked in fastfood and HATED it, so I hear you there!
> 
> It really was! It's really encouraging to work with the babies and realize I'm not a bad rider which I feel like when I ride Dante because of how hard he can be to ride. And he was pretty bad but it showed me I'm doing the right thing for him to change his career, rather than to keep throwing money at something when it's really he just needs a new job to be happy.
> 
> And thanks! I was surprised how much seemed to come back to me, like I had more confidence and feel. I wouldn't feel comfortable jumping on my own because I'm afraid I'd screw up but I feel like I'm getting it and more able to help Dante through and do a good enough job that he's receiving good training. I'm in balance and release well but the distance I don't always see but I'm getting there and riding my lines better/planning better. We're getting his training there. Dante can see his own distance and I can set a rhythm, so I guess that says something?


What's meant to be will always find a way! Guess we will see what happens! And I remember about her mom  can't believe there are people like that out there. Would be a plus if your saddle fit her though :lol:

That is a good thing! Dante needs to be happy with where he will end up! And he definitely seems like a horse that wants to make his own decisions!

Well, you know who he is now :lol: and yeah, I didn't care for that way of riding. Glad I have Maggy, who makes sense. I plan to tell Blair at Regionals on Saturday :lol: and oh yeah, I'll ride in the snaffle a lot. The double is just kind of one of the milestones I'd love to make it to. I wouldn't school in it all the time, but kind of one of those achievement things. I'd willingly show in the snaffle though for small shows :lol:

Yeah, I felt I needed to clarify :lol: I would never in any way, shape, or form imply you are not good enough! But you are very capable with the babies. Dante was just a tough egg that didn't want to do it. Of course he would make it a million times harder. That sounds like a terrible accident  not one you would expect to break your back to that extent doing! Yikes! I'm glad she has you to help though!!

Mares are truly something else. I didn't like mares growing up, but now I would only prefer my mare :lol: or any mare. Geldings are what I want for my husband. One that won't argue. But I really do hope this filly works out!! She sounds lovely 

I think you guys looked great!! He looked so dang happy to be in the longer/lower frame and just so dang happy to pop over those jumps! You looked great too! I enjoyed watching all the videos! Sounds like a good call sending him to a professional for a little bit to get him really going. I'm sure it'll help with finding him a new home too!

Yup! Extremely intelligent and they know what they want! Least he's found what he wants!

You are definitely not a bad rider! I would NEVER say that! You rode Dante well, even if you think you looked like a mess. You didn't to us! You looked stellar! I do agree. This sport is expensive enough. No need to be spending huge amounts of money for something that won't work out in the long run!

That is something he can see his own distance, especially with how green he is to jumping! I'm glad he found his happy spot!

I loved all the pictures and videos!! Sorry I haven't commented on them until now haha! I liked what I saw on Facebook at least!! Dante looks pleased with himself to be jumping


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## DanteDressageNerd

That's for sure. That's why I'm not getting too attached but I am getting to know her better, so I can see if it'd be a good fit personality wise. Hard to say riding wise because she's not broke or been sat on or had tack on before :lol: and yeah her mom was a sad story :-( she wasn't ever "abused" in terms of her care but the riding was bad, she showed to about 3rd-4th level dressage but started training level in a double bridle! And the spur callouses on her sides made my eyes pop, before or since I have never seen anything like it. It took a long time for them to go down but now mom is a trail horse and is really happy in a good home. Her brain was just fried beyond repair. I rode her and she had NO idea what a half halt was, self carriage, how to reach through to a contact because she was used to being held back against it. She had the most overbuilt underneck muscles I've ever seen on any horse. Part of it was conformation but a lot of it was bad riding/training. Super sweet girl though, nicely sensitive but explosive into canter or things because of how she was ridden/trained. But Dev (this mares son and the fillies half brother) is really good, he's a lot less sensitive than the filly. But the filly is by Furstenball and Dev is by DaCaprio. She moves a lot like her daddy from what I've seen/remember. Not an exact replica but her gaits are similar. She doesn't have the same freedom in the trot and canter looks back breakingly powerful more like mom. I don't imagine she'll be comfortable but we'll see, she drives a lot with her hind legs. I haven't seen her really move since December. But if it doesn't work out. I figure it'll just give me more time to save and wait for the right horse to come along.

This is dad











If her back stays curved, I think the saddle can be made to fit her. I think my saddle is on hold atm. I still have to pay for it because they already started production but I told the saddle rep about the situation with Dante. The headplate and pannels can be changed, so there are a lot of things we can do BUT we cannot make a curved pannel fit a flat backed horse. And the filly has a short back (may change) but I think she'll always be shorter in the back, so the short panel will be fine for her. But we will have to wait and see.

For sure! Dante won't perform if he's unhappy which is why I think a hunter/jumper home would be really good. A lot of the riders I've seen aren't busy bodies, they don't over ride or screw around with the horse's mouth or see saw all the time. A lot of them are very quiet which is good with Dante. He still needs to be ridden but I think when he's finished as a hunter. The rider would just have to sit pretty and let Dante do his job. Mari asked if I wanted to market him as an eventer and I said no because the eventers in my area don't ride like what I grew up around. They just don't know what they're doing in any discipline and run horses at fences and plop around on their backs and get into the mouth too much which would make Dante sour. The hunters regularly see chiropractors, are well fed/taken care of vs the eventers from what my trainer said after cross country didn't even properly cool their horses out. Just gabbed with their friends :x not acceptable at all. I think Dante would be happy as a hunter, as long as he was loved, doted on and got to be turned out. And yes Dante likes making decisions!

I entirely understand. The double bridle is like finally getting to wear your tail coat. I totally get it. So I totally get it and also glad you've found a much better trainer to train with then before. And sounds like a plan. For the double, I'd definitely look into the herm sprenger and doing a trial of bits, especially if you have connections with Blair and she can suit you up with a bunch of different bits to try! I look at it as one day spending about 400 bucks on bits for the double, unless I can find used but that's quite a few years out for me, especially if I start totally over with an unbroke baby. 

:lol: no worries, I understood what you meant. I didn't take it personally at all. And he was. I learned a TON from him about neck control, contact, connection, the back, laterals, timing, precision I can't even explain it but I learned a ton from him, so I'm grateful and glad we found him a job he LOVES and it so good about doing. *knock on wood* he's never refused or said no. He might get looky when something new comes along but by 2nd time he's over it. Like the blue thing on the ground. He hadn't seen that before and looked at it and kinda backed off like I'm not sure about this but I put my leg on and he said yes mam. Plus he gets TONS of praise.

And for her it was a really bad accident. She couldn't ride for almost a year and was on pain meds for years because the pain was so bad. It's been almost 10yrs since that and so now everything is fine but it was definitely a process she had to fight for and rewire her brain, body and legs. She had an 80% tear in her spinal cord in her lower lumbar. She counts her blessings but I'm happy to help. I love riding the babies and I'm glad I'll have some horses to ride when Dante goes into training or sells and while I bring up another horse. It's a win-win for both of us.

I don't blame you :lol: I think day to day a lot of guys dont' handle mares well because they can be so sensitive and argumentative and really need to know the why, not just the how of things :lol: but I agree. After working with mares, I wouldn't pick anything else if I have a first choice. They give you another gear but thank you. I hope this work out too. She has a really good temperament and personality which is something I really want.

Thank you kindly  we looked better than I thought, I was pretty pleased with him. He's a solid citizen about jumping. He LOVES it and I'm so glad we've found his thing, so he can feel good about his job. And definitely when Mari and I discussed pricing him and she said the difference, I said I want to put him in professional training because I'm a decent jumper but I'm not a professional. I was not trained to be a hunter and I know how much better a job someone else will do. Mari will tell me when that point is. For now I'm fine for what Dante needs but in probably 2wks we'll put the trainer on!

Exactly men need jobs they enjoy! Well we all do but intelligent, stubborn men only want to do what they want to do :lol:

:lol: thank you. I just felt like it looked messy whenever I rode him and getting him to go correctly was really hard. I did the best I could, I'm not claiming I was perfect at all, I definitely made mistakes but I learned a lot. You can't force it, just kinda had to be tactful and get there but dressage just wasnt his thing. Part of why I stopped taking dressage lessons was because it really felt pointless, like we were moving backwards rather than forwards and getting no where with him. He just wasn't happy and it was like he shut down more and more. But exactly. Save, don't be wasteful when they're telling you they're done. I realized it was over when I fought SO hard to walk-trot around the arena when I could ride barely/not even broke horses and had no problem getting what I was asking Dante to do. If you're working that hard to walk-trot around the arena through and together, you're never going to get anywhere.

But thank you very much. I'm very proud of him. He seems a lot happier over fences. He wants to do it. He still needs some help but he's so willing and it's nice to have him on my side vs fighting me every step of the way.

Dante's first run through with the blue things. That's why he was like uhh?


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## frlsgirl

Oh yes, I was going to ask about the saddle situation; that's a big investment considering you now want to have him go in a different direction and sell him.


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## Tazzie

Well, hopefully she will work out if your personalities mesh :lol: she looks like a nice filly. Mom definitely has to be sweet if she became a trail horse. Shame though about the bad training. I have never seen callouses like you are mentioning. And the sire looks nice! He's pretty handsome! Maybe it doesn't come naturally to her, but I'm sure she'll still have a decent trot and canter if both of her parents were decent. Least you can hope :lol: but, you can start down that path after Dante has his new place :lol:

Fingers crossed though. I know the saying is to buy the saddle to fit the horse, but in this situation... would definitely be something to pay attention to. You'll figure something out I'm sure!

You know, I thought about eventer too. But figured since he was really unhappy with the dressage that maybe it wouldn't be a good fit for him. Those riders you describe would seal the deal to not advertise him as an eventer. I HATE people that don't properly cool out their horses! Really makes me mad. I'm sure you'll find his perfect match that can snuggle with him and make sure he has plenty of turnout :lol:

Exactly :lol: not something I'd ride in all the time, but just something to be like "I EARNED this!" I'm glad we found Maggy too. MUCH better fit for us. A healthy balance of pushing you just past your comfort zone but also handing out A LOT of praise when doing something right. I hate not knowing if I'm doing what she wanted or not. Or if I don't get it, she breaks it down for me. She's invaluable! And yes, Blair will be put on the hunt :lol:

Good :lol: written word is hard to read tone and such :lol: he certainly has taught you a lot! All good knowledge to have in the knowledge sack :lol: he sounds super happy as a jumper! Even better that all he needs is leg to gain the confidence to go over something sketchy (the video of him and the blue things was good! you could see him go "I don't know...." and you added leg and I saw him go "yes ma'am!") Praise is always a good thing!

Yikes, that's awful  I'm glad she's ok now, but wow. It really is a win-win for you both! Glad she has you to help her!

Yup :lol: Nick loves riding Izzie because he points and she goes. But I think if he rode her daily she'd start doing the "but why?" to him. I just want a gelding that he says "go there" and they just do it. We'll see if we can find that when the time is right :lol: but yes. Mares are my first choice for the same reason  *fingers crossed* it all works out.

You guys really did look great! And that is a good idea. Probably would help having someone else ride him too. I'm sure he'll love jumping school :lol:

Well, you looked good lol I can look at pictures and video and spot where I went wrong, but people rarely point them out to me. As a whole, the picture was pleasant. Though you were riding a horse that didn't want to do it. I get not wanting to lessons anymore with him. That's a whole lot of work for little reward really. And no, you really wouldn't get anywhere. I'm sure he'll be happier somewhere else, and you'll be happier with a horse that wants to do it!

You should be! It's very clear in the videos how happy he is!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- For sure! It was an expensive investment and it was too late to cancel the order but I know albion knows about my situation. But Dante is pretty sure he's found his calling. He's SO much happier as a hunter, it's pointless to push him in dressage. And I know the hunters really take good care of their horses, especially in this area so I think there is a good chance of selling him into a good situation where he'll be loved, well cared for and happy. 
_______________________________

Katie- I really hope so. I love that little filly. She's so sweet, I hope she has her mother's work ethic because her mama had a heart of gold and meant so well. I can only imagine what her mom would have been like had she had a different start. Mom was half tb, half hanoverian but she was massive body wise. But she didn't feel wide but she was a powerhouse, really drove her hind legs. Her walk and canter were incredible. Frankie drives her legs more than dad but her canter she really uses her hind end and drives like her mama, so I think she'll have the ability to sit. She doesn't move like a hunter, definitely drive from behind. I think she's going to be nice but I think she's one where she has to be ridden well to show the quality vs if she's packaged and shoved together all her movement will be shut down and you'll lose the freedom. I think she's one where the movement is there but it needs to be trained vs the naturally impressive/balanced horses. I'll have to watch her go again too. But dad, I think is the same way. I think if he was packaged and held together he wouldn't move as well but hes really nice, elite stallion in Germany and mom is pretty nice. We'll just have to see. But exactly. Nothing can be done until Dante is at his new home, then we'll have those kind of discussions *crossed fingers* I think Pam would like if I purchased her too. She'd have a good home and be well loved/cared for and developed.

For sure! That is something I definitely am, just because it was SUCH an expensive saddle. I've never spent that on a saddle in my life. And it's fit to me and yikes. I really hope it can be made to fit my next horse vs have to sell it and be out all that money *crossed fingers* the whole thing is stressful :lol:

I agree. A lot of eventers are rough on their horses (not all) but a lot of them are. The not cooling out after cross country on a 90 degree day ticked me off royally! That is entirely unacceptable. After you ride, take care of your dam* horse before looking after yourself. Plus I think they'd wreck Dante's confidence running him at fences with no idea of what they're doing. Where I grew up eventers learned to ride the fences and learned to ride dressage but around here, I honestly couldn't watch the dressage and the cross country made me nervous because the horses either bailed their owners out or put on the brakes. And absolutely! I know the hunters look after their horses and care about saddle fit, they see the chiropractor, injections if they need it and really look after their horses vs doing the bare minimum. It's also strange to me that people buying more expensive horses are more accepting of different conditions than people buying for less which is part of why I'm paying for a professional and also because they'll be able to do the technical stuff and get Dante really solid as a hunter vs I can just do the best I can but I don't know what they do, I can't do what they can.

Exactly! I entirely get that. I'm looking forward to developing a horse to the point of being ready for a double bridle. I'm really glad you found Maggy too and are getting better direction and are in an encouraging environment where you're challenged but not set up for failure. Achievable challenges to grow but not shut down. I'm glad you found a trainer like that vs just do it, get over it and make it happen. Some people need that but much more achievable when all the steps are worked through vs just pushed into things.

That is true. Online I just assume people mean well and think of it in how I would mean it vs people being passive-aggressive. I don't get passive aggressive behavior. I pretty much mean what I say. I'm not positive to people, unless I mean it. And when people are passive aggressive with me or derogatory in a complimentary way it goes over my head, aspergers is pretty awesome :lol: but just saying I know you mean by well by the things you write, same as I mean well by the things I write. And if it doesn't come off as I mean it, I probably wont' even realize it could have been interpreted differently :lol:

But thank you. He really has. I am SO grateful to have had this experience with him and to have been the one to bring him along and give him his start because I think he's going to be a really good boy. I'm also happy to have this chance to start jumping again and get me back over fences. I was thinking I'd probably cross train my next horse, emphasize dressage but sometimes jump because it's good for them to do something different. But Dante definitely prefer the hunter stuff vs dressage. He's so different. So much happier and self assured. And he is pretty brave, he might ask a question but as soon as you give an answer he listens and says okay. Plus we dont scare him or set him up for failure. Challenge but not to shut him down.

Yeah :-( it was a really rough ordeal for her and she's still careful but I think we're glad to have each other. I help her and she helps me. 

I'm sure! I'd definitely see Izzie being fine with once in a while going out for a hack, point-go and then day in, day out start asking questions like why should I and giving trouble. it's different when you ride them all the time vs once in a while. And thank you. I really hope it all does too!!

Well thank you :lol: I did the best I could. I just kinda look at videos and get a little bummed because I had a lot of hopes for him/us. And it's hard when you start on a downward spiral and feel like maybe if I did this or that differently but then you realize it has nothing to do with you and there's nothing wrong with him. He just wasnt cut out to be a dressage horse. Progress stopped and the lessons just werent worth it when it took everything I had to do basics. 

Like this I thought weren't super because I felt like I was working hard to get the basics. I remember Devon kept commenting on how tricky he looked to ride but she said the best ones are like that. And I really wanted video showing what we could do but it was good work. Just felt like back steps from where we were. He's more free and definitely understand contact loads better but we couldn't work on the stuff we working on him earlier because he'd just fight vs get better. 











These were from January. I started sitting at 4:10 and he looked totally different. And 5:12 he starts looking really good and spooks a little late :lol: but it's sad to me because here it was like we were making progress and in the last ones it's like we werent.











Vs as a hunter he feels so happy, free and willing. There is no convincing, just ask and he's like I've got it! And I think he'd really look after someone vs dressage it was like riding a professionals horse without a professionals talent or that's how my friends and trainers described him because he was so tricky and difficult about things and he'd have fits when my trainers were like that's totally unreasonable, you did absolutely nothing wrong. He just wasnt happy. But thank you. I'm just glad we found a career for him! 
_____________________

We rode dressage bareback yesterday because the jumper saddle pinches and I dont feel right riding him flat like that and he was really very good. I didn't really "collect" him or bring him up or emphasize laterals. Just rode basic dressage, so lengthenings, leg yield, changes of direction, serpentines, and kept it simple happy and encouraging. He felt really free in his movement and honestly felt really good. He felt pretty correct and pleasant. It was a short, sweet ride.

Pictures of Dante's make over. I am not finished pulling his mane but in about a week I'll shorten it up more to hunter length but I didn't want to scalp him and have it all grow in like a bush. He loves being a hunter. Between changing his career and diet, the ALCAR and vitamin E supplement he's SO SO much happier. His eyes are so much softer and he's an entirely different horse. He's also body clipped because of the heat.


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## frlsgirl

You did a good job on his mane; still sad to see it go though 

I'm glad he's found his true calling; Ana lights up like a Christmas tree when I take her out in the fields, so we are going to do some more exploring around the property. It's great when the horse is happy and actually wants to work and try.


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## Tazzie

Definitely hope she gets momma's work ethic! A horse willing to meet work head on with gusto is definitely a must! And I'm certain her mom would have been amazing if she had had a different start to life! Probably. I think very few horses can look decent when just shoved together and expected to work well. Plus, I know you'll only ever ride her out into the contact and never force her to package up in an incorrect way. I think she'd go well IF she is what you would want, talent wise. I'm sure Pam would be very pleased you got her. She trusts you to break the babies. I'm sure it'd be reassuring to her that you got her and she knew the kind of rider/caretaker you are!

Fingers crossed it'll work for the next one!! Least you have babies to work, so you'd have to time to shop around if the filly doesn't pan out.

That really is a shame they ride that way and treat horses that way. I've never been able to watch eventing dressage. So much of it is just terrible to me. You know it's bad when even your husband can pick out what the riders are doing wrong :/ and I have ALWAYS hated people just running a horse to a fence. I can't jump. I have never been taught how. But even I can see what a horse has been ridden to the fence properly, and when the rider just pushes and prays. Hopefully a professional can fine tune Dante and have him ready for a spectacular home!

Yeah, I don't do passive aggressive. And I typically mean things I say in the nicest way possible :lol:

Cross training is extremely beneficial! We haven't jumped or anything, but we trail ride when we can. Izzie is expected to climb up and down hills, and head straight into the creek upon asking. Gives them something to think about! And yes, it's super clear jumping is what Dante wants to do! I love that you haven't pushed him just to see what he can do. I HATE when people push and push and push just to say the horse has jumped such and such height. That's great, but is he doing it because he's happy or because he has no choice? A challenge like you give Dante is good. Allows him to expand his confidence over fences. And it has definitely paid off in the little time you've been doing it with him!

Always good to have that relationship 

I know :sad: I had a lot of hopes too for the two of us taking the world by storm with our Arab/Stock horse crosses lol but I know what you mean. Once you hit the downward spiral, it's not worth it anymore. No one is happy then. And you are a good rider, so it's nothing you were doing. Just him saying "I don't want to do this anymore."

Yeah :sad: it still looks good, but I understand what you mean. And it definitely seems like there is a lot more "yes ma'am!!!" in him working as a hunter vs a dressage horse. I think he's picked his happy place!

That is encouraging at least! So hopefully he wouldn't be bratty when they do flat work with him :lol: I'm glad you just had a nice, sweet ride!

He really does have an overall more relaxed posture. Everything about him screams happy and content now. I do love the mane too! You did a great job with it! Such a handsome boy!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- thank you  it was sad to see it go but I think it looks really cute now and I'm sure it's more comfortable for him. I was thinking of doing braids tonight and see how my dutch braids are. It's been a while :lol: but it might be too thin for dutch braid because I pulled it because hunters pull to do the hunter braids.

Me too. lol it's funny how they have their definite preferences in what it is they really like to do and enjoy doing. They're a lot like people like that. Have their likes/dislikes and definite opinions.
____________________

Katie- Me too. I really hope she'll be sensitive enough and have the work ethic. I want something a little hot but not eyes popping out of their head hot and tense and agitated or anxious, just nicely sensitive, alert and responsive. Lazy, unmotivated, couldn't care less horses drive me crazy. No dumb bloods :lol: I don't like ones that tune out, I like ones that listen, react and say what do you need. I'm being very picky this go around. There is wiggle room because I'm looking at an unbroke horse and they can change a TON but I'm being picky and going to make sure it's the right fit and she's exactly what I want and pass PPE, etc but I'm being picky :lol: But I agree. Most horses look way better when they're allowed to move over their back and move out vs held together and shoved along. I've seen some German riders who I still swear have strings in their seat to get the hocks to move the way they do but they can create phenomenal movement from tension and holding a horse up and making really mediocre horses look phenomenal in a way it takes months and years to make a correctly trained horse look but the riders I saw do that were in the business of selling horses, so they had to get them going and sold to fetch a certain price. But we'll see. I think she'd be happy if one of her babies ended up with me. I LOVE Friday, he is PERFECT but he's a gelding 15.1h and I don't feel confident he'd be sound for what I want to do. The way he rides is EXACTLY what I want. He's super smart, listens but doesn't over react, nicely sensitive but not unpredictable or going to see something and fly across the arena. Just a good horse.

*fingers crossed* we can sell Dante in a reasonable amount of time too. I was looking at him today and as much as I love him. I could feel it, I really need to start marketing him soon. As soon as he has changes we can start marketing but if he doesn't have them in a month I'm just going to market and get what I can because I can't sit on it. We'll be pricing him to sell. Not to give away but what is reasonable and obviously to good home only. He's my kid, I raised him but now it's time for him to go on and be someone else's horse. I'm going to take my time, most likely after he sells before buying a new horse unless the filly works out. I want to take my time and make sure I find the right one.

But that's true I'm really thankful for the babies and for the opportunity to ride them. I learn a lot riding them. They're very-very different from one another.

I totally agree. For the most part, I am with you. I can't watch most eventers ride dressage but there are some good ones out there. But I really hope a professional can get Dante where he needs to go and have him ready for a good home. 

:lol: likewise. 

I wish we had trails like that around here. I think trail riding or going into the mountains and going up/down hills is great for them and doing work outside of the arena but where I'm at there aren't a whole lot of options unfortunately :-( especially during summer. But I'm entirely with you, I can't stand watching horses galloped at fences when both horse and rider clearly don't have their distance set and so the horse either chips in and works through or refuses. But no we're definitely not rushing Dante in jumping, Mari is pretty big about taking the time to develop them correctly, so they can use themselves over the fences correctly and actually be ridable to the fences. To me you shouldn't be jumping a horse if they arent at least a solid training level horse with an established rhythm, able to work over their back, connect to the bridle, half halt, leg yield and have accurate transitions, circles, etc. But I'm with you when people rush horses up the levels in jumping and fence height. Ive seen people do some crazy things and ruin good horses but we're getting our cue from Dante on what he's ready for. Making him feel competent and confident each round, not raise the fences until he backs off. But hunters emphasize a lot more on how horses look over the fences, so they tend to be taught to ride their lines better. Not always but the good ones are amazing riders.

:lol: I know what you mean. I really wanted to take a non-traditional horse up the levels but I'm looking at things now financially and it's too much of a gamble. A horse may have the talent or potential but it doesn't matter if they don't want to do it. and it was getting to a point where one ride it took literally everything I had to walk-trot around the arena like I do now on not really broke babies and that was when I said it's over. But exactly. He felt like he was saying this isn't what I want to do, I'm done. I was miserable, he was miserable. 

For sure! He's a lot more workman like and happy doing hunter-jumper vs dressage. I dont know if he'll be a jumper. I have no idea what he can do scope wise, he might surprise me but I could see him maxing out at 3ft but if he can be a 3ft hunter and do it with style that'd be something.

I really hope so. I'm sure he'll be fine on the flat doing more lax stuff. But definitely! His whole attitude, demeanor, being around him is entirely different. He's a much more pleasant horse to ride and be around.
____________________

Update

Rode the babies today and yesterday. Dev is tricky atm because of how his neck is conformed (built to brace underneck and bipass his topline) and getting him to use himself correctly is a chore. He's pretty lazy, I literally spanked him with the whip a few times and he could care less. But lots of counter flexion, getting him to take the contact, sending him forward, giving to encourage him to reach for the contact, return to true bend and repeat. Even in side reins it's the same thing. I think he'll be fine once he's conditioned and not so green but right now it's teaching him to reach down into the contact and use his neck correctly. Friday was perfect, he's now off the lunge line like Dev. Didn't ride Saturday but Qira was really good. 

Then Dante and I have a jumping lesson tonight *crossed fingers it goes well!

And I'm absolutely exhausted :lol: I don't know why I'm so tired but I'm exhausted. I know my depression is kicking in but I don't like being tired.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- Me too. I really hope she'll be sensitive enough and have the work ethic. I want something a little hot but not eyes popping out of their head hot and tense and agitated or anxious, just nicely sensitive, alert and responsive. Lazy, unmotivated, couldn't care less horses drive me crazy. No dumb bloods :lol: I don't like ones that tune out, I like ones that listen, react and say what do you need. I'm being very picky this go around. There is wiggle room because I'm looking at an unbroke horse and they can change a TON but I'm being picky and going to make sure it's the right fit and she's exactly what I want and pass PPE, etc but I'm being picky :lol: But I agree. Most horses look way better when they're allowed to move over their back and move out vs held together and shoved along. I've seen some German riders who I still swear have strings in their seat to get the hocks to move the way they do but they can create phenomenal movement from tension and holding a horse up and making really mediocre horses look phenomenal in a way it takes months and years to make a correctly trained horse look but the riders I saw do that were in the business of selling horses, so they had to get them going and sold to fetch a certain price. But we'll see. I think she'd be happy if one of her babies ended up with me. I LOVE Friday, he is PERFECT but he's a gelding 15.1h and I don't feel confident he'd be sound for what I want to do. The way he rides is EXACTLY what I want. He's super smart, listens but doesn't over react, nicely sensitive but not unpredictable or going to see something and fly across the arena. Just a good horse.
> 
> *fingers crossed* we can sell Dante in a reasonable amount of time too. I was looking at him today and as much as I love him. I could feel it, I really need to start marketing him soon. As soon as he has changes we can start marketing but if he doesn't have them in a month I'm just going to market and get what I can because I can't sit on it. We'll be pricing him to sell. Not to give away but what is reasonable and obviously to good home only. He's my kid, I raised him but now it's time for him to go on and be someone else's horse. I'm going to take my time, most likely after he sells before buying a new horse unless the filly works out. I want to take my time and make sure I find the right one.
> 
> But that's true I'm really thankful for the babies and for the opportunity to ride them. I learn a lot riding them. They're very-very different from one another.
> 
> I totally agree. For the most part, I am with you. I can't watch most eventers ride dressage but there are some good ones out there. But I really hope a professional can get Dante where he needs to go and have him ready for a good home.
> 
> :lol: likewise.
> 
> I wish we had trails like that around here. I think trail riding or going into the mountains and going up/down hills is great for them and doing work outside of the arena but where I'm at there aren't a whole lot of options unfortunately :-( especially during summer. But I'm entirely with you, I can't stand watching horses galloped at fences when both horse and rider clearly don't have their distance set and so the horse either chips in and works through or refuses. But no we're definitely not rushing Dante in jumping, Mari is pretty big about taking the time to develop them correctly, so they can use themselves over the fences correctly and actually be ridable to the fences. To me you shouldn't be jumping a horse if they arent at least a solid training level horse with an established rhythm, able to work over their back, connect to the bridle, half halt, leg yield and have accurate transitions, circles, etc. But I'm with you when people rush horses up the levels in jumping and fence height. Ive seen people do some crazy things and ruin good horses but we're getting our cue from Dante on what he's ready for. Making him feel competent and confident each round, not raise the fences until he backs off. But hunters emphasize a lot more on how horses look over the fences, so they tend to be taught to ride their lines better. Not always but the good ones are amazing riders.
> 
> :lol: I know what you mean. I really wanted to take a non-traditional horse up the levels but I'm looking at things now financially and it's too much of a gamble. A horse may have the talent or potential but it doesn't matter if they don't want to do it. and it was getting to a point where one ride it took literally everything I had to walk-trot around the arena like I do now on not really broke babies and that was when I said it's over. But exactly. He felt like he was saying this isn't what I want to do, I'm done. I was miserable, he was miserable.
> 
> For sure! He's a lot more workman like and happy doing hunter-jumper vs dressage. I dont know if he'll be a jumper. I have no idea what he can do scope wise, he might surprise me but I could see him maxing out at 3ft but if he can be a 3ft hunter and do it with style that'd be something.
> 
> I really hope so. I'm sure he'll be fine on the flat doing more lax stuff. But definitely! His whole attitude, demeanor, being around him is entirely different. He's a much more pleasant horse to ride and be around.
> ____________________
> 
> Update
> 
> Rode the babies today and yesterday. Dev is tricky atm because of how his neck is conformed (built to brace underneck and bipass his topline) and getting him to use himself correctly is a chore. He's pretty lazy, I literally spanked him with the whip a few times and he could care less. But lots of counter flexion, getting him to take the contact, sending him forward, giving to encourage him to reach for the contact, return to true bend and repeat. Even in side reins it's the same thing. I think he'll be fine once he's conditioned and not so green but right now it's teaching him to reach down into the contact and use his neck correctly. Friday was perfect, he's now off the lunge line like Dev. Didn't ride Saturday but Qira was really good.
> 
> Then Dante and I have a jumping lesson tonight *crossed fingers it goes well!
> 
> And I'm absolutely exhausted :lol: I don't know why I'm so tired but I'm exhausted. I know my depression is kicking in but I don't like being tired.


Does Pam not have plans to break her any time soon? Is she kind of waiting for you to kind of decide? Just interesting you are working these other babies but not her. Picky is definitely the best way to go really! You'll be spending money either way, so may as well have something that can work for what you want it to do! I just hope she pans out for you! And yeah, Friday sounds terrific, but I know you want taller, and questionable longevity wouldn't be favorable :/

Well yes, a good home is always a must!! I'm sure he'll figure out the changes pretty quickly. He's a smart horse and he's loving what he's doing. I really don't foresee any issues with that or find him the perfect home! I think the biggest headache you'll get are the tire kickers, or the ones who just see a gorgeous horse that is unsuitable for them (because they are the yank and pull riders, not the real riders). I think he'll easily find the perfect home though!!

Always a good thing to do things that make you a better rider!

Yeah, I like trails, just never enough time to do them. Shame you don't have that option there :sad: ugh, yeah, no. Not fair to do that to your horse. Basically setting them up for failure. I think that is fair they should be working like that really. Flatwork is just as important as actually jumping in those divisions! And yeah, I think he'll make a cute little hunter!

I understand your position too :lol: if you are all miserable, it's just not worth it. I do hope the next one is the one. I truly hope so.

Yeah, who knows what scope he'd have. I guess you could free lunge him over jumps to get an idea, but eh. I think he'll be snappy little hunter though!

It appears he is! His overall appearance is VASTLY different.

I'm sure Dev will get it! Will just take time. Yay for Friday graduating to off lunge line rides! Exciting! Glad the babies were good!

Hopefully the lesson went well! I'm sure it did!!

I understand the exhaustion :lol: I do hope you take care of yourself!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- We're not starting Frankie or Qiwi who are the two 3yr olds because we're working on 4 others atm and most of them aren't quite ready to go on their own. I can ride Dev while she's riding but the other 3 still need a ground person, so we have to schedule it when no one else is in the arena. Plus Frankie's price goes up as soon as work starts on her because then that's not just the initial investment of upkeep for 3yrs then it's time too. And really we don't have time. Pam teaches quite a few lessons and rides at least 5 horses a day. So the 3yr olds can wait. But Friday is really awesome. Plus he's my buddy. I stood by his stall and he just wanted nose kisses and loves. He lifts his lip to kiss you back, it's so cute. He's a good horse but I think he'll be limited to the lower levels because of his leg. Talent wise he's probably the best mover IMO of the babies, except for Qiwi who is a freak. But his sire was an alternate for the olympics and he moves a lot like his mom who is SUPER fancy. She was another sort of "rescue." She was a VERY VERY talented mare, imported from Germany who is DeNiro x Rhodiamont. She is hot but she was ruined, as a 5-6yr old she was schooling 3rd-4th level. They pushed her and fried her brain. First time I put a saddle on her at our barn she literally lunged at it as if trying to kill the saddle. She's a breathe wrong, going to take off with you type. I don't think by nature, I think because she was frazzled. Her babies are sensitive, try hard and REALLY listen but they're not what I'd call hot. And they're so cuddley and sweet :lol: They just react to what a rider says to quiet aids but not in a dramatic way. Just I heard you the first time kind of way.

But I agree. Have to be picky, especially when looking at the money I'm looking at spending for something started or unbroke. I never thought I'd spend that on a horse but that's what it is. People ask me why a baby and I say because I don't have 30-40k to buy a nice started/trained horse. So I want a baby of that quality because before their broke price is low enough, I could probably afford one. 

Oh yeah. I think Mari will do a good job of filtering out people too because Dante is a sensitive ride. He needs someone who can direct but stay neutral. Yank, pull I think he'd tolerate as long as he got to jump the jumps but usually the hunters I see don't yank, pull or whip them around a course. I think a trainer would make them redo a line over and over again until they got the distance. They stay really quiet and their trainers will say use your leg here or make sure they see the fence, etc vs get the head down. 

Example of hunters and not a top rider either. There is nothing I dislike about her riding or would make me upset but this is what I think of when I see the local hunters, a lot of them ride like this. 






And absolutely! That's what I love about babies, even if they're all warmbloods. They're all so different from one another and ride so differently.

Trail riding is really great! When I lived in Oregon/Washington state I used to trail ride every weekend but now it's either haul somewhere or don't and I don't have a trailer. But it's really not. I've seen people set horses up to fail and it's always people who IMO shouldnt' be trainers and have no idea what they're doing to train/raise horses or riders correctly. It's why I'm so thankful for Mari. She trains the horses and riders really well. As a jumper and dressage coach I've learned a ton from her. She's ridden to GP dressage and is 1 score from her gold medal but her GP horse is retired and refused to push him for another score. But flatwork is more important IMO for a jumper, I know in Germany those horses that were doing the GP were schooled to 3rd-4th level dressage. They wouldn't show 3rd-4th level but they knew the movements and were well trained in the flat. But I'm glad they have hunter-jumper as as introduction for riders into the jumpers, I wish eventers would do more of it too instead of galloping wildly at fences but whatever. But thank you. I think he will too 

Thank you again. I really hope the next one is it too. I'd actually like to start something and finish it :lol: and Dante's SO SO much happier jumping.

I think he could do 3ft+ after yesterday, he feels like he has some scope. I don't know. We'll have to do a grid free lunging but it was cool. I think he could be handy in a jumper round with the right training. He wants to be careful but doesnt' have a meltdown if he hits a rail.

He really has. His attitude is 110% different, I think the diet has something to do with it too though.

I'm sure Dev will. He's definitely the most trained of the babies, he was in Florida for 4 months but he had 2 months off and was restarted last month but he's getting there. I'm glad they're doing well too. Friday is awesome off the line.

I know you do! I don't have as much on my plate as you do! Depression just wipes you out. The negativity and all the thoughts going through your mind are honestly toxic because I still try, I haven't given up. I just don't expect things to work out smoothly ever or at all. I'm always waiting for something to fall out, so I don't get attached to hope or believe in it. It hurts too much to be let down.
_______________________

Update

Jumping lesson went really-really well. Dante was full of himself but listened and was really good. He really wants the jumps. He did his first real oxer, I think it was 2'3, Dante did not back off at all. He locked on and wanted it, I had to hold him to the base (half halt and keep him from over taking himself). His stride and movement has really opened up. His flat work was the best it's ever been. He crashed through the oxer once, then 2nd time didn't back down at all but way over jumped and got me in the mouth because I wasn't prepared :lol: but he has some scope. I now think he could do 3ft+ I don't know exactly what he could do but there is some scope in there and he's game. Maybe besides just hunters, some could do jumpers with him. I have no doubts he'll be quick and handy enough with how how fast he is and how smart he is. He figures things out so quickly. And he's SUPER proud of himself after jumping, you can feel it. He just feels good and is SUPER ridable. Sensitive, listens and is responsive. I really saw my distance today and I really felt like a decent jumper, things came back more and more. I could hold him to the base and not let him launch like he wanted. He's still figuring out his legs but I think he's going to be a handy jumper. He LOVES it. He reminds me of my eventer to the fences, except not as arrogant or strong. Kahlua was like holding back a run away train, Dante is like I want it Mom, I see it, I wants it but Mom says to wait, so I'll wait.

I wanted to move him to the hunter barn and put him in full training but I have to wait a month because I gave Pam my 1 months notice. So we'll move him over there at the end of the month. They will be doing 5 rides a week on him. I almost started balling my eyes out because I love him SO SO SO much and he was SO SO SO pleased with himself, happy and he was SO SO SO good. He's a really special horse and I want somebody to cherish and appreciate all that he is. He also was super cuddley, kissy and nickered at me several times today. He's so happy. I'm sad because I form REALLY strong attachments but I know he's going to be so happy in a career he likes and I know because he's such a a good boy and very handsome, someone is just going to love him and feel lucky to have him.

And I did Dutch braids. Dutch braids are the "in" style in dressage right now. They're basically fat braids. Not like buttons braids or hunter braids. I was a professional groom at one time, so I can braid :lol: I don't braid tails though. I don't do that but I probably should learn because the braiders at hunter shows make a ton of money.


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## knightrider

I would surely love to see a video of dressage being done badly and you and Katie critiquing it explaining why it was bad and what could/should have been done. I would love to learn dressage, and I enjoy following all of you dressage riders' adventures. When I watch people's videos, it all looks lovely, even when you guys say it was not that great.

Here is a quote from Katie:
That really is a shame they ride that way and treat horses that way. I've never been able to watch eventing dressage. So much of it is just terrible to me. You know it's bad when even your husband can pick out what the riders are doing wrong :/ and I have ALWAYS hated people just running a horse to a fence

Are you allowed to post someone's video that was "terrible" and explain what they are doing wrong?

I took some dressage lessons with a really fine trainer once, but I had trained my mare from a yearling to be a field fox hunter and that is what she wanted to do. Like Dante, she hated dressage, being told what to do. From babyhood, I had encouraged her to think for herself and take care of me in the hunt field, (wow--that sounded bad--I didn't hunt her until she was four, and didn't jump her in the hunt field until she was five--but from her babyhood on, I encouraged her to think for herself and look after me too) and that is what she wanted to do. A few years down the road, I got a new filly who seemed to be a much better candidate for dressage, and I was really excited about getting into dressage. I got two lessons from my really great former teacher . . . and then my husband left me for a young girl. So, no more riding lessons. I was just lucky to still be able to keep my horse.

Just an explanation for why I like "lurking" on you all's journals, soaking up the dressage challenges.

Are there some bad eventing dressage videos that you would be allowed to post and then explain what is going wrong? I would really like to see that.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Knightrider22- I don't feel ethically or morally right taking people's personal videos from youtube, so I won't use their videos. A lot of the things I see that are bad are things I've seen at local eventing or dressage shows. I can't find videos that replicate what I've seen or what Katie has seen and if I did I wouldn't feel right using them publicly without the owner's permission. I look at it as dont say anything behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face. It's also unfair in some circumstance because you don't know the situation, say someone is riding a young horse and it was a bad day and in others you can tell it just has had poor training.

A lot of the see sawing and ripping at the face and jabbing with the spurs, I think it'd be hard to find video of. 

But what I can show is what we're looking for in correct riding and what is not ideal using professional/top riders.

Fast forward to about 40 seconds in. A lot of people would say this is bad because the horse appears behind the verticle but what they fail to look at is the horse is not behind the bit or locked in at the throat latch or held in position. Some would call this rolkur, it is definitely not. A horse is not in a twisted, compromised position that disengaged the back, the horse being ridden too not stretched behind to the extent the back disengages. This stretching with the rider asking the horse to stretch over his topline, work his back and stretch. This horse is also a PRE which this kind of work is necessary as I find PRE and spanish horses are more difficult to get to work properly. If you want them in an ideal frame, easy but to get them in a correct rhythm and really working over their back and to work correctly is hard. This horse is in correct balance, self carriage (rider could give his hands and horse would be in the same position). But this exercise/way of working is very beneficial for a PRE type that is high in the neck and tends to hollow the back. It keeps the horse supple, elastic, fluid and allow for the freedom. If you always ride in the high frame you will lose that fluidity, throughness and elasticity. His hands are not restricting the horse or locking his jaw or neck, just sending him out to meet the contact. He is relaxing the muscles at the base of his neck all the way down to where his neck meets his shoulders, lifting up through the witers, swinging over his back and coming up in his belly and engaging his back. 

A lot of people look at tracking up and poll or nose position but that is not always accurate because some horses are VERY engaged over the back and through but dont' track up and different horses based on their conformation. Horses do not all go the same. Valegro for example is VERY different in his neck than Uthopia.







Sustainable dressage is not a good resource. Some stuff is really good that's been written but some of it you can tell is clearly from someone who doesn't have a lot of experience but has read a lot of theoretical work. 

Valegro and Charlotte






You'll probably have to click on this one to see the video but this is one of my favorite riders. This particular horse is VERY hard to ride. He is VERY VERY hot and tricky. Hubertus is a master rider. He is the trainer my trainer's trainer trains with. So this is the system of training I've been taught. I just love the freedom he creates. He was trained in the german classical system, what he does is termed neoclassical.






Older video of Hubertus. 






Then 1984 olympic riders, fast forward about 3 minutes. I am not a fan of this style because the horses are not through, over their back or really actively connected to the bit. They're hollow in the back, bracing at the base of the neck. They have elevation but not engagement, light but not connected. But many would argue this is ideal because they are in front of the verticle and coming from behind. Yet they're not lifting from their wither, they're braced from the base of the neck and hollow over the back. They are stiff in the circles, rigid through turns and not as balanced as they could be. So when people call this the golden age of dressage, I strongly disagree.






1972 to em the horses appear stiff/rigid, not really through. They're not lifting from their wither or base of the neck. You can really see it in the restricted motion and lack of freedom in the horses shoulder, gaits and tense-hollow back.






1976






Master rider Hubertus Schmidt and Imperio. He creates a lot of expression and freedom in this horse's movement. This horse is VERY VERY hot/tricky. I can't even imagine what it'd be like to sit on a horse like this. 





Carl Hester and Uthopia





I am not a big fan of the Dutch system, it is not how I'd want to ride but I will not sit behind a computer screen and try to claim they're bad riders or I could ride better when I sure as heck know I'm no where near that caliber of a rider.

To me it's a very tense style that is broken into parts like the hind legs arent' connected to the front and the body isn't moving together as a whole if that makes sense? I feel the prep work they do, they round the horse's neck so much that they disengage the back and the horse learns to be disengaged and not wholly together in unison with it's whole body, so you get this expressive front end and seemingly disconnected hind end. But at the same time I am in awe at their ability to keep these horses sound into their late teens like Salinero. 






This I disagree with but I am not going to bash Anky, I know she is 100x more able than I am but this is not how I would want to train a horse because it makes them use themselves incorrectly by having them so curled up they disengage the back and hind end and lock up in front. This is incorrect riding to me. It takes away the freedom in the horse's movement and disrupts the harmony. It's restrictive and look very uncomfortable to me.






It does bother me when people call rider's like Anky bad riders. I usually can't help myself and laugh and think I'll listen when you can sit on her horses and not get taken off with or bucked off. This horse I would have absolutely no ambition to ride. He is ridiculously hot and I know I'm not that caliber of rider. About 1:59 I think she handles that amazingly well and so sympathetically. That said this is not a rider I want to emulate but I will not sit behind a computer screen and tear apart her riding when I know I'm not even close to the rider she is.






I also don't want to sit behind a computer screen critisizing riders I know I don't ride as well as because honestly I think that is flat out rude and revealing of insecurity, rather than objectively educating. 

But the kind of bad riding Katie or I were talking about it more so stuff you'd see at shows or some of the stuff I'd seen in Germany, that I have no video of.


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## knightrider

Thank you, thank you SO much. That was very much what I wanted to see. It was extremely interesting. Watching all those horses and riders, they all look marvelous to me, and I am fascinated to learn about their technical riding. Thank you SO much. That took a lot of your time, but I really liked it.

Today I bought a dressage saddle. The former owner came to my place to make sure it fit both my horse and me. I don't expect to be getting dressage lessons any time soon, but it's fun to have the saddle (which is quite comfortable) and work on some basic stuff.


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## knightrider

I know you are super busy and have a real life, so if you don't have time to answer my ignorant questions, I will understand.

In the last video of Hubertus Schmidt with Imperio, around 2:56, he gets really active with his right hand although Imperio is walking quietly. What is he trying to accomplish by doing this?

I notice that most of the riders do not keep their heels down and have more active legs than other riding disciplines. Are the riders not supposed to have quiet legs? Doesn't matter? For some of the riders, the cues are almost imperceptible; for others, the cues are pretty obvious. I notice that Hubertus Schmidt is more active with both hands and legs than the other riders. Is this a bad thing or something that does not matter?

Years ago, I spent 3 weeks on an Andalusian horse farm in Spain. I asked the trainers and riders why they made no effort to keep their heels down when riding. They had never even heard of "heels down" and thought it was ridiculous. There was a German couple riding there with me and two sisters also from Germany. They agreed that nobody makes an effort to keep the heels down and that was silly. They also had never heard of it.

Dressage is a whole 'nother world for me, but I find it interesting and can only imagine how challenging it is. Thank you again for taking so much time to educate me.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Knightrider- I have been very busy. Yesterday I was only home long enough to shower and leave to celebrate Independence day but avoid the fireworks. I'm not a big fireworks person, not that they're not pretty but it involves people, crowds, the noise, and staying out later than 10 is not okay with me :lol: and they're not ignorant questions. I am more than happy to share what I know or talk about these things. The only time I get irritated is when people make a lot of assumptions without asking questions or wanting to inform themselves about a type of riding or why someone does what they do and go on to make very ignorant, rude statements about something they don't understand and aren't willing to listen to someone who does. I think we'd all be a little better off if we listened a little more, rather than tying our egoes to sounding right vs actually being right. If that makes sense?

But with Hubertus and Imperio, he was more busy with the right rein in that walk, likely for suppleness and to activate Imperio's right hind which may possibly be his weakness. In a test situation, you can't use that instance to work a exercise that will get that suppleness, so you have to use an aid and hope all the work you did at home comes across. Even the top horses still have to be ridden well. And Imperio also looks tricky/complicated to ride to me and from what Devon has told me. It sounds like he's a tricky horse to ride that well and to have at that level.

Dressage riders are very active, we're never "still" we might be subtle but we're never still. Even within a connection that look still, we're still half halting or sending suppling aids or signaling. Our whole body is used for communication, as we refine/become more aware we're able to do more and more but it is also dependent on the horse's education/place in their training.

In sitting trot the leg should move, if a leg is still the rider is either riding a super smooth horses or they're very braced/locked up in their legs and hips. The leg naturally moves in sitting trot. Legs are also active because we're always sending signals and communicating something. With Dante for example my leg is active, not because I was trying to get him more forward but because it was to keep his back up and keep sending him out to meet the contact or actually when he'd get super hot and tense to supple him and as a sort of half halt and keep him listening/with me and sitting vs getting hotter, more anxious, tense and explosive. Or if he was really spooky/nervous, I'd put my leg on and he'd come back to me because he's been taught that that's a return to me/comforting aid.

A correctly trained dressage horse is pretty independent of the rein. For example today in my lesson with Dante. When I was in two point and transitioned from canter to trot I had both reins in one hand as I was petting Dante's neck and he kept seeking/working into the contact. A correctly trained dressage horse still works into the contact, as it improves direct communication (also part of why we ride with short reins and not loose/floppy reins). The longer/floppier the reins the more grey area but also it means the rider needs to be that much more skillful and that much better to not lose the relaxation and throughness they achieves with a lower neck frame as they ask the horse to sit, elevate and take weight behind. It's all about communication and being direct.

With heels down, we do aim to keep our heels down but we dont have heels that are shoved down as we don't place our weight really in our stirrups and forcing the heel down creates unwanted tension in our seats, legs and hips. For example to sit on something like Dante who is very bouncy, you have to be totally elastic/supple in your hips and lower body or you will go into the rafters. When he gets super expressive you kinda have to anchor yourself into the saddle (not braced) but I don't know how to describe it over then you anchor yourself in, like you've learned how to keep your weight in the saddle. And I rode a pony who was WAY WAY bouncier than Dante and the only way to sit him was having a very strong core, relaxed hips, strong back good posture and anchoring with your body into the saddle. We kinda melt our bodies to be in sink with the horses, so we can move with them and become part of them, so we can communicate with each other more effectively. For example if I have a horse that's acting up, I don't grip or get tense, I sink my body into theirs and move with them while I bring them back to me. It's much more effective because a more nervous/sensitive horse or even an anxious one feels the tension and will react more than if you stay calm, relax and become apart of them. I'm not sure if that makes sense? 

And not a problem. I'm very passionate about dressage. This is my sport and what I've dedicated my life to. I like sharing information/awareness about what I love.
________________________

UPDATE

Rode Dante Friday and today. He had Saturday off. Dressage he was REALLY REALLY good. I leg yielded in our small arena from centerline to the wall by just pointing my hip and Dante was there effortlessly which was very neat. Transitions were crisp. I'm not asking him to sit or carry behind, as he's a hunter now but he was a good boy and really tried. Really bent well through the bends, etc.

Today we had a jumping lesson and he was quite good. He was a spit fire. I lunged him this morning because after I hand walked him for 15min he was still breathing fire (snorty) because he's been in, so I lunged him and was like dam it Dante why don't you want to be a dressage horse? He moves quite well but he moves like a hunter. He was a bit strong to the fences but he got his flying changes almost every time across the diagnol and over a cavaletti we'd ask for the change and he got it both ways almost every time, so that's good. 

A friend was watching me ride him and said he has a lot of go and it doesn't really occur to me. Dante is a very forward horse to ride, you usually half halt more than send him on. He was also quite sassy tonight :lol: he has some tude but he was really-really good. The more I learn about him as I'm doing hunters with him is dressage was going to be a dead end with him. I hope we can find him a really good home where they're happy and he's happy.











I also had really good rides on the babies. 

Friday, Saturday, Dev, and Qira were all really good. I trotted Saturday for the first time off the lunge line and he was good. Saturday and Dev were quite nervous with the storms and temperature drops. Saturday had one blow up when he lost his footing and Dev was eyeing things. He's off the lunge line but he kept me on my toes, he had one out burst but I quickly got him back to me, so it didnt' escalate or turn into anything ugly. And had a REALLY-REALLY good ride on him. He was the best in the contact he has ever been. It's a little unsettling because the babies are so green/young you can't always predict their reaction. You just have to ride them through. But they were really good. There is a video of me riding Dev but I don't know that I can share it as it's not my video.


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## knightrider

I am finding all of your comments fascinating--really enjoying all of it. I decided to find some videos of bad dressage and see if I could figure it out--have I learned anything.

How ironic that the most enlightening thing I found was an old thread on Horse Forum!

http://www.horseforum.com/dressage/how-tell-good-dressage-bad-dressage-79614/

Just thought I would share. I would be interested in your comments (and Katie's comments when she has the time) on this thread. I found it helpful.


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## DanteDressageNerd

You can also look up french classical dressage, to me that is not good dressage. It leaves so many gaps and grey area for the horses with conflicting information. While encouraging the horses to be hollow and not through/connected or over the back which to me is why we do dressage to create a more gymnastic, educated horse and rider who understand each other through subtle communication. We muscle them over the topline to help them support the weight of carrying and ask for balance to make the movements easier to helps put less strain on their body in an arena type exercise. I think of it like doing planks or weight lifting and gymnastics for people to keep our bodies strong, supple, and healthy. Good dressage strengthens the horse and trains a rider to communicate/understand their horse more effectively. It's about discipline, trust and conversation. I can say I have to keep my body strong and well maintained or I fall apart and am in chronic pain and need medication vs if I take care of myself for the most part I don't need to take any anti-inflammatories or pain relief.

That is an interesting thread. I don't disagree with much of it but I feel sometimes we try to over simplify dressage but there are some really good posts in there.
_________________

Lunging horses today then riding Dante. Working towards getting a sales video of Dante, so I can start marketing him and hopefully get people to look at him. I know we'll be able to find him a good home. It's just hard to be around them all the time when you've already made that decisions and you're still so attached. It gives me relief when I watch hunter-jumpers ride because the average hunter-jumper rider rides the mouth better than the average dressage rider I see. They're a lot quieter/steadier in the bridle and if they get flustered they dont start jerking on the mouth, they'll loosen the reins and send them forward. Dante is still sensitive, he'd hate being fiddled with. 

At the end of the month, he'll be moving to a hunter-jumper barn and put in full training with professional hunter-jumpers. It's a sales barn but the horses are VERY well cared for and it's maybe 10 minutes from the barn he's at now, so I can visit him regularly.

The other reason is because I'm pretty seriously looking at a filly but I can't do anything until Dante sells. I love this filly, I've known her since she was born and I'm riding her brother right now who is REALLY good/nice. And I love her personality, she's so sweet and a total cuddler. She was in her stall Sunday and I walked by and she stuck her head out and was like you will hold my head, give me kisses and love me. So I did. Only thing is her mouth is TINY, I'll have to buy a new bit and eventually fitting her to a double might be something. But she's 3 right now, so we have a few years yet to worry about that. She's at least 16-16.1h and I think she'll be fairly wide and should mature to at least 16.2h which is important to me because I have long legs and even Dante I feel a touch too tall for him. If he wasn't so wide and didn't have a long neck, I'd look huge. One of the ladies I was talking to this weekend remembered Ivan (17.2h holsteiner) and she said when you were on him he looked maybe 16.2h, I'd have never guessed 17.2h (he was, sticked true) but I have long legs and fill out horses pretty well. 

The filly I'm looking at has no markings.





Old dressage Dante pics. Kinda makes me sad. I think he had potential but I had my hunter-jumper trainer look at his conformation and she said I'm not saying he couldnt have done upper level dressage, I'm just saying his hip angle is conformed like a hunter or jumper. Conformationally he can do both. He has a really good shoulder angle but not enough length from shoulder to elbow which would be ideal for the jumpers but it's not always forms to function. Mind over matter has a lot to do with it. And for Dante he just doesn't love dressage enough to make it work. And I remember leaving most my rides/lessons extremely frustrated because it felt like we just weren't getting anywhere and that he was shutting down more and more. We didn't bully or pressure him but I guess it's like me if I had to write english papers all day. It's not that I hate it but I just don't love it. I'm much more comfortable working math problems, thats soothing to me. Writing papers is stressful. It's not that I can't, it's just harder for me and I think that's how Dante feels about dressage.












Also I kinda started doubting my diagnosis of aspergers then I socialized a lot more than usual and was like okay yep. Now there is no doubt it my mind that's what I have because I have no filter and I get stressed out socially and so you can see more the "ticks" or "symptoms" like with my hands or voice tones. I also have a major problem with paper towels and sounds. I don't like fireworks, I hate the noise which people are always like how can you shoot down range and feel fine and I said ear plugs and being around people who know what they're doing and are constantly being supervised but I can't drive with fireworks going. My heart was in my chest because I felt like I was about to be blown up the whole time but I KNEW it was just my head's perception. Anxiety has been worse the last week too :-( I manage it really well. I learned how as a Marine, I had to learn to cope and get over it. It's also kinda fun to celebrate the 4th as a veteran.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I rode Dante dressage yesterday, he was actually really-really good. We did some collected canter and trot, shoulder in, haunches in and leg yield at canter, 10m circles at canter and trot serpentines. He was a good boy. But good lord he was hot, he wasnt looky at all, he was just a horse on a mission. Just lots of go and half halting, even though it was REALLY REALLY hot. He was dripping sweat and eager to keep going when I got off. I was just like no, I literally went from trot to walk and got off because he was just looking for any reason to go and I didn't want him to keep going sweating that much. I lunged before I rode too since we rode bareback and I wanted his back to warm up before I sat on him but I got off when he was dripping sweat, even though he was still waiting for any excuse to go. I was like you're a nut buddy. He was in workman mode and just wanted to go and go. Lots of half halts but he was SO SO good. Super sensitive and reactive but he listened when I asked him to come back or sit more and slow down, etc. But he was super supple, laterals were easy. He was just like I got this, I got this. I got this. And anything, moved slightly and he was like I leap into canter! You want me to lengthen? Okay. You want me to collect? Oh yeah I can do that. It was easy for him. 

He definitely remember how to collect, I half halted in my core, drew him up with my leg, and asked him to come up and I felt him come more over his back and engage more, sitting behind and I was like well that's cool. It felt effortless. He carried it into the transitions and he was just so eager to please. 

I was proud of him. When I got off I hand walked him for a while and hosed him off for a while then stretches and he went outside for the night. And what do you know I turn him out and takes off down to the other side :lol: well I'm glad he's feeling so good and is so bright and happy.

It made me really sad too because it's like he's trying to convince me to keep him but he wouldn't be happy doing dressage full time, he's happier as a jumper and I don't want to go back to being frustrated and feeling like I'm at a dead end all the time and spending tons of money trying to figure out what's wrong when he just needs more versatility in his life and I can't provide that the way someone else can. But he definitely is a horse that will always need a job, he's SO SO much happier after work. He's a workman, loves to work and have a purpose. And I love riding a sensitive but sensible and highly reactive horse. I like something that reacts to slight-subtle aids and Dante felt anything and was like I'm on it. It was cool. His lengthenings were really good too, you could really feel the swing and length of his body. It felt good.


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## frlsgirl

Oh dear, am I too late for the Dressage debate? lol

I personally draw from my experience riding in Germany - old school; it's all about rider balance first before you even get to touch the reins. I guess that is the old school, classical German method. But, I consider myself to be more of a mixed bag; German Old School + French Classical (ST Training) + Dressage Naturally (Karen Rohlf) + some elements of modern Dressage and thinking. I think we can all benefit from exploring and learning about different methods; if something doesn't suit, I don't use it. 

I had an interesting conversation with the saddle fitter about this. "Do you know why Germans always seem to do so well in Dressage? Because they train balance from the start. Here, especially in Region 9, many people never make it past second level because the third level requires a greater degree of balance which is not taught until people realize they need it when they get to third level. Then they have trouble training it because the horse relies too much on the rider for balance and it's hard to break them of that need when you let it go for too long." 

Mind blown! I just started working with Ana on this; I will not carry her head, it's too heavy for me and she is perfectly capable of carrying it herself; next we are going to work on shifting balance at the canter to make transitions and later changes much easier.


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## knightrider

Cassie, you OK? It's 5 days and nothing from you.


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## Rainaisabelle

knightrider said:


> Cassie, you OK? It's 5 days and nothing from you.


She's probably very busy


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## frlsgirl

I just got word from her - she's fine; just busy.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Ive been very busy of late. And today I broke hand while riding. I didn't fall off. Just 

Yesterday was crazy busy. Rode 4 horses, been riding about 5 horses a day. Unfortunately this accident occurred on Dante. It's not his fault, just bad circumstances. Not sure when I'll be riding again but after it broke I finished the course and hopped off. Could not in tack Dante because I can't move my ring or pinky finger.


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## Wallaby

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Ive been very busy of late. And today I broke hand while riding. I didn't fall off. Just
> 
> Yesterday was crazy busy. Rode 4 horses, been riding about 5 horses a day. Unfortunately this accident occurred on Dante. It's not his fault, just bad circumstances. Not sure when I'll be riding again but after it broke I finished the course and hopped off. Could not in tack Dante because I can't move my ring or pinky finger.


Oh no!! I'm glad you weren't hurt worse, but that really really stinks! *hugs*


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## frlsgirl

Oh man that sucks! Same thing happened to my previous instructor; she was schooling the horse in a double and somehow got her two fingers tangled in it when he suddenly pulled on her, it took forever to heal. Hopefully that's not the case for you.


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## knightrider

So sorry, what a bummer. I pray it heals quickly.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you so much for your guys concern. I really appreciate it! I didn't mean to make anyone worry. I've just been SO busy.

Kinda ticked about the broken hand. I know how lucky I am. I'm just REALLY upset because the babies were doing SO SO well. Dev is broke, Friday was super close, Saturday super close and we were getting consistent with Qira. The boys can all walk, trot on the bit, good about contact, some leg yield, and steer off the lungeline. Qira has just been started though. Dev is walk, trot, canter, leg yield and steers. We rode with 3 other horses in the arena and he was good. He was looky and baby but through, together and good.

I didn't fall off, my hand broke on Dante's neck. Very freak thing. I had no idea that could happen. I did ride Dante through it after my hand broke but he basically went through my outside aids and Im not 100% sure how it happened but my hand rolled over and broke on his neck. Very freak thing. I rode for a little bit with a broken hand because it's me and I'm pretty pain tolerant and underestimate the damage but I couldn't move my ring or pinky finger so I put my reins between my middle finger and thumb to half halt and boot Dante with my left leg. He was being testy, it's not his fault at all. Just happened.



I snuggled with Frankie. I just love her. Shes so sweet and consistent and I need a horse like that. I was hoping to sell Dante, have her vetted and make an offer, so I could get her started before November. I always have these super quirky horses and I need something I can actually be successful with vs not giving up on lost causes. Dante is really a very nice, talented horse but he's so much happier jumping.

I ride sensitive and hot well. I do not ride dull as well, I can ride them but dont enjoy it. I like sensitive and kinda hot but reasonable and listens.

Typing is really hard for me atm, so I'll try to respond to some other threads but they probably wont be long. No riding for a month :frown_color: so Im really sad about that. I NEED to be busy and I need to be active, I'm too high strung. and it's a fairly minor injury but you don't realize how valuable something is until you cant anymore. 

I'm making a fitness plan, so I keep fit. If I lose muscle mass, I'm the kind of person who looks at food and gains weight. I have to stay fit too because other wise my back, hip, knee and body issues get really bad too. No more pull ups though :sad: :-? no push ups or that kind of stuff. So I'm doing what I can. I have to stay busy. I HATE feeling useless. I guess I can do math all day, math is soothing. Writing is hard for me.


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## frlsgirl

Sorry Cass  Hey, maybe you'll discover a new activity or exercise that you like while your are recuperating. I know what you mean though about not wanting to feel useless.


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## knightrider

You say it is minor, but it looks like a very long and pretty bad break. I hope it heals quickly.


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## greentree

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! Heal quickly.....

Back in 2000, we were riding on a trail that was our favorite, because it was about 2 miles of jumpable downed trees. One of them was s-shaped, and one side was about 18" , the higher side was about 2'6". I aimed at the low side, but the horse ****ed and jumped the high side. My friend had stopped and turned around to watch us jump, and said she had not seen that big of a jump in a long time! 
Somehow, though,on landing, I caught my pinky finger on his neck, and had a pilon fracture of my knuckle....into about 4 pieces.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you guys for the support. Sorry I havent been on much and I want to respond to some other threads but I'll make time sometime soon. Surprisingly I've actually been a little busy. I spent 2 days learning about saddle fit from a master saddler who works with olympic riders. I certainly don't know how to flock a saddle but I can tell you when a saddle doesn't fit. A good friend of mine is also apprenticing under this master saddler. 

This won't be long. My hand is really hurting from all the typing I've had to do today. I won't get into too much detail but I'm pretty stressed out. I wont get into it, just disappointed in how something turned out and requesting my refund. Dante was in good spirits for the most part. He was a really good boy about everything. I'm proud of him. And I'll say I'm SO SO SO grateful for the people at my barn, they're amazing. I am so thankful for them.

I have been exercising. I have a series of exercises Ive been doing, like bridges. a bunch of ab and leg stuff. side planks, planks, belly dancing type exercises, lifts, squats, arm circles, etc. I'm trying to do arm stuff that doesn't affect the hand. I'm a little upset about the muscle mass/fitness I'm going to lose. I was a fitness beast once upon a time.

Was pretty down/depressed for a few days. Mostly frustration with life because anytime I get a little ahead, something randoms like this seems to happen and I'm a more pessimistic-cynical person of late. but trying to think happy thoughts and to concentrate on all the things I'm grateful for and blessed with over the frustrating things that happen. Gotta consider they may be a blessing in disguise.
_________ 

Tanja- thank you. and quite possibly! but certainly. Nobody wants to feel useless and it really sucks when you're an independent person and having to be like so...could you do this for me because I cant? It sucks but kinda necessary.
_______________

knightrider- thank you. I hope so too. I say it's minor because it's a hand vs something else but I hope it heals correctly and I'll regain full use. I can move my pinky some but not much. I'm happy it was a spiral fracture because it helped the bones stay in place. So I hope it heals well/correctly. 
_______________

greentree- thank you. I hope it heals quickly too. I'm a really high energy, busy body. I like being on the go. 

Isn't it weird how things sometimes happen? Such freak things. Hopefully no repeats! but yikes it sounds like you guys were having fun up until that point!


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## Dehda01

Is there a good broke horse, with excellent lateral work you can ride one handed? I have been playing around with working equitation and sometimes ride one handed to do obstacles and up the ante. It has been done in classical dressage for centuries


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## Tazzie

I really hope you heal fast Cassie!! And can get back into riding quickly! I like Dehda's idea though! Hopefully life stops knocking you down


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## DanteDressageNerd

Unfortunately, I was riding unbroke horses and then there is Dante, so not much access to well trained horses. The very well trained horses are privately owned and they're powerhouse movers, so a lot to organize. Not with the bridle but with seat, core, leg, and shoulders. I also have terrible luck. If it can go wrong, chances are it probably will. I don't want to risk destroying my hand when I only have to wait a month because my hope is to be back on the babies in a month and maybe starting a 3yr old.

Dante once he gets going you can ride on the buckle with him reaching to the bit, doing serpentines, circles, leg yield, transitions etc but I don't trust him if something went wrong. So he's in training atm. And with him in training and me trying to save money where I can, it's not worth trying to pay for lessons. Friday (one of the babies) I thought maybe I could ride him but it's not worth the risk. He's almost broke and SO good, the perfect horse imo. I love him to death. SUPER smart but he uses it for you, sensitive. You only have to tell him once but doesn't over react. Nice in the contact, there but never leaning. Could get too light but we changed his bit and put a different nose band on and he was perfect. Makes me sad because I don't know who is going to ride them while I'm out. Maybe Pam will? IDK it makes me sad because they were doing SO well! And I start school in a month :-(

It's a good idea though and thank you for the suggestion. I wish I could hop on. A friend suggested me riding western or trail riding (we have no trails) and I HATE sitting in a western saddle. It may sound silly but the detachment I hate. I just dont feel as close to the horse. Ive ridden western and dabbled in reining and gaming (on a trained horse) and helped my friend with her green reiner and got it going better. My friend is an army helicopter pilot now, so I dont see her but she's a good rider, so I appreciate what they do. It's just not my thing. And nobody has a western saddle :lol: 

But thank you both. I really hope I heal quickly too! I want back on a horse, though I may never sit on Dante again.
_________________________________________

And an old video of me and Dante from March






Still dealing with the saddle issue. The saddle on him is my trilogy that doesn't fit but fits WAY better than the custom saddle I ordered which didn't fit AT ALL. It bridged SO badly and was WAY too tight through his shoulders. Dante is at least a wide, definitely not a MW. The panel angles were all wrong. Pam refused to ride him in it, the fit was so poor. We know Dante is sensitive and it isn't worth making him sore to prove the saddle doesn't fit. There is no way to make that saddle fit. Plus it had a short flap! I'm 5'7 with LONG legs from my feet to the top of my hip, it's 40 inches! 33inches from my feet to crotch. I'm quite leggy which is why if you see me on a 16.3h horse it looks appropriate. I wish I had picture of me on Ivan who was 17.2h and everyone thought he was 16.2h because he didn't look big in motion but stand next to him and yep he's a big boy.

This photo is from 9yrs ago. This horse is my old eventer who was a solid 16.3 1/2h just to show my leg.



Was a VERY dramatic thing that went down Saturday. I dont always read when people are trying to belittle and intimidate me but I will say I have some amazing people in my life and I'm SO SO grateful for their advice, guidance and kindness. And for looking out for me. I've learned a lot from them and am also very thankful to my trainer who has helped me out SO SO much. If I'm in a professional situation, I'm very different from a social situation. I tend to be very soft spoken and quiet, so people tend to think they can bully and intimidate me and I'm kinda like just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I'm weak. Just because I'm polite, doesn't mean I don't know when something is wrong. I did stand up for myself and told her the saddle didn't fit and she tried to tell me I was wrong and didn't know what I was talking about. I won't go into it just hoping to get a refund for that saddle.

We also spent 2 days with a master saddler who fits olympians about saddle fit and what it should feel like, what to look for, etc. I am not an expert. I also spent 2 days learning from this woman in December but she's a saddle fitting genius and a good friend of mine who is a saddle fitter (she trained in the UK) is now apprenticing under her. I think she's going to be brilliant. She's a hard worker with an eye for detail and really wants to do a good job and learn her trade. 

Today I'm focusing on my computer studies and speaking with the company about the saddle. It's a good company, so I hope they honor their word. My father did something INCREDIBLY generous. Also died because my father and Robin Williams look uncannily similar. It was eeary as I was watching The Dead Poet's Society. And in Hook they look almost identical but he said he'd pay me $20 per chapter I read because he knows I'm not able to work and make money. It was SO nice of him, I was speechless when he told me that. I'm SO thankful. He said I know that's about what training for the horse will cost, so I hope it'll help.

picture of Frankie because I wanted to introduce her.


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## tinyliny

I wish you could come take a look at X's saddle fit. I am pretty sure it's not good. it's a Schleese, so quite adjustable. the things that make me feel it is bridging are so minimal I am not sure they could show in a photo. but, I might try , if you want to see what it 'says' to you.


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## frlsgirl

Oh Cass, sorry about the saddle drama on top of the hand injury. I know exactly what you mean; I'm the same way; people think I'm so nice and quiet that they try to run over me and they are shocked when I stand up for myself. I wonder what went wrong that the saddle is such a bad fit? Did she accidentally bring you the wrong saddle? How could she have gotten the flap length so wrong? It doesn't take a genius saddle fitter to see that you need a long flap or at least not a super short flap; so weird! I hope you can get it worked out. And yes, that was very nice of your dad to pay you for reading; wish someone would pay me for reading; I would be a millionaire by now


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## DanteDressageNerd

Caroline- I'd be happy to look at the pictures. I am NOT an expert, so I can tell some things from pictures but for me I can feel how it should feel down the shoulder or back and if I place my hand on the top of the saddle and try to rock it side to side, it shouldnt rock from front to back or side to side. I place one hand at the top and feel down the shoulder. The contact should be even down the shoulder and not too tight. I shouldn't be hard or soft. And down the back it should be even pressure down the spine, following the curve of the horse's back. No hard or soft spots. Flocking should be smooth and even. Panels shouldn't pinch the back or lay with space where contact isn't displaced over the whole panel. I'm not an expert. My friend who is a fitter knows WAY WAY more than I do but I learn and listen to the experts and they helped me call out some bull**** from someone who was trying to pressure me into accepting an ill fitting saddle.
____________________________

Tanja- Exactly! We all get tired of people trying to bullsh!t us by trying to claim to be experts and superior in their knowledge because of a title but I've found sometimes these so called experts are just full of [email protected] When I was younger, I assumed everybody knew more than I did and now I really feel strongly about trying to educate yourself as much as possible to protect yourself from becoming prey or fooled. I'm sorry you are treated the same way :-( people think because you're soft spoken and polite that you must be a doormat they can push around and bully. Some people are insecure predators who go after people they assume are weaker than they are. 

Anyone can sound like they have an educated opinion or flash their credentials but the proof is in the pudding. 

I don't know how she got the fit SO wrong. I really don't. It was definitely "my" saddle that was intended for me but the fit was so wrong. She convinced me I needed a 1in short flap and I thought well she knew better than me, so I listened. But it looked like a jumper saddle the flap was so short. It looked ridiculous on Dante who has a big body and my leg would get caught on it all the time.

And I will say I get SO sick and tired of people trying to push an agenda or trying to act superior to others or trying to belittle and bully them into accepting their authority. I hate that. If you are remotely competent, you shouldn't have to make someone else feel small to make you feel big. I also hate how people will give big, outlandish opinions to make themselves seem like an expert when in reality they are no where near as skillful or capable as the person they are criticizing. People's egoes and vanity drive me up the wall. I am a proud person but I'm pretty fair and generally objective. People don't make sense to me and I hate BS.

And yes it was very generous!! He also knows how much I dislike reading and how much it takes for me to sit down and read. I've read a TON of literature but I much prefer math or problems solving vs reading. My head starts exploring other ideas. I don't focus well, it's REALLY hard for me to sit down and read.


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## Tazzie

Yeah, that saddle sounded so totally wrong all the way around! I STILL can't believe that woman! I tend to get quiet and polite as well in a professional setting, but there have been times I've needed to become forceful :lol: you definitely need a longer flap. A short flap is something this midget needs, not you :lol:

That was extremely nice of your dad! Hopefully you're powering through that reading! As for Dante, I'm sure he'll do great in training!


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## DanteDressageNerd

It really was. And *shrugs* well it's my fault for saying people don't shock me so much anymore and what do you know, the day after I said that. I find myself in awe of humanity :lol: People are surprising, so much bull**** and learning for yourself to sift through it and identify whose full of [email protected] and whose legit. And exactly. Professionally I tend to have a little more firmness and gusto, I can have a lot of attitude but if I don't use it when I'm not used to needing it. As a Marine I was pretty assertive and knew how to talk but now that I've calmed down, I'm not so assertive. I don't know what I am at the moment. I don't like arguing or fighting at all. Im not passive aggressive hardly at all (that [email protected] confuses me to no ends). I'm very genuine and I want to give people a chance but when they start telling me inaccurate information and feeding me bull****, I have learned it's rude to correct them without tact but then I get lost on how to correct them in a socially acceptable way, so I tend to say nothing because I have a LONG LONG list of things Ive been told are inappropriate and Im not allowed to say them so then I try to find things I am allowed to say and are appropriate to the situation. 

I was the person who was a wild card on what was going to come out of my mouth. It was always in a genuine, innocent way but grrr I'm figuring it out. When I'm confused or lost on how to approach a situation, I usually say nothing at all but then when someone is pressuring me. I'll very politely say they're wrong or disagree but then when they go after me and get emotional or angry because I told them they were wrong, I get lost. I don't get why they're yelling or how that's an acceptable way to respond.

Oh well but yes I definitely need a longer flap :lol: 

My parents are very kind. They don't spoil us but they are purposeful when they help. My dad said when I broke my hand, "normal fathers ask if you're okay and how you're doing but German fathers ask, how much is it going to cost? Did you avoid emergency? When can you get back to work and did you at least make your medical trip as cost effective as you possibly could?"

No concern for me once they know I'm alright, then they're concerned about money :lol:

Dante was good today. My trainer rode him dressage, unfortunately my saddle simple doesn't fit him so the ride was very short. Dante tried but the saddle just doesnt fit him. But the jumping trainer is riding him tomorrow and for the next 3 days.


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## DanteDressageNerd

What Im trying to explain is I avoid inflammatory reactions because people who are explosive are not logical and without reason. Anger makes people blind. I don't know how to talk to unreasonable, ridiculous people or opinions based purely on opinion. Or when people analyze from a purely superficial stand point and don't really try to understand things or the whole concept of how pieces fit together.

I get frustrated because I don't know how to explain what I want to that makes sense to others. I see so many pieces that make sense to me and I see how they build on each other and how what holds true sometimes, isn't true all the time but if I try to explain that it just sounds like gobbily **** and I don't know how to break it down to the smallest detail so I can actually communicate what I want to without coming off as arrogant or conceited or falsely proud. I just try to be competent, confident and honest. But then Im seen as weak. I don't get why people are impressed by ego driven nuts who promote themselves without competence, only talk. 

Blah honestly I wish I wasn't so darn genuine about things. Im too honest but I don't know how to help it.


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## Tihannah

So sorry about the saddle and really hope they make it right, ESPECIALLY for what you spent on it! 

Your ability to look at the entire picture and consider all things involved is a gift and has helped me in more ways than I can count and one of the reasons I value your opinion so much! There is nothing broken with you, except your hand of course! ;-)

Hurry up and get better so I have more videos to inspire me!


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## Tazzie

I understand about that! A lot of people never learned how to behave I don't think. It's totally unnecessary to yell at someone in that situation. Hopefully it's worked out soon and you can move on.

How is your hand feeling? And glad to hear Dante was good! Hopefully he's good today too!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I am SUPER exhausted. No excuse though it is very hot and the air conditioning broke :-( but last night I couldn't fall asleep until about 0300. My brain couldn't settle down and even then I woke up periodically until I couldn't keep myself in bed anymore.

News from the Doctor is good. Hand is staying in place. X rays look good but he said NO riding until 6wks are up:frown_color: Im not okay with this. But Im not going to be stupid either and cause permanent nerve damage in my hand just because Im impatient. My tendinitis wouldn't have become tendonosis had I not been pressured to push it until I ended up in the ER. So not going to be stupid and regret it.

So this is me :dance-smiley05: I'm an athlete. I am a high strung, high energy, busy body. This isn't okay. Runnng isn't good because it ticks my hand, knees and hips off. Still exercising and working out upper body stuff I can do, just less cardio :-( But Dante is meant to move barns to the hunter-jumper barn at the end of the month and enter full training. I hope he sells in a reasonable amount of time. I want to advertise him but I need a better jumping video. But I'm still a tooth pick. Or at least the vet was laughing at me talking about weight management and called me a tooth pick. but to be fair I call him rainbow and he calls me sunshine :lol: I weigh 140lbs 5'7 and pretty muscle dense but I keep telling people. I don't eat whatever I want and I'm not a tooth pick, I have shape. I eat appropriately but I keep fit and take a quality multivitamin-all in one supplement and alkalizer. TONS of water and fluids. I dont drink much alcohol but a glass of wine or some good beer. I rarely ever eat out and eat lots of real-whole food and healthy fats but I DO eat ice cream and cake, just not everyday. I'll eat a hamburger with cheese and all the fixings and have "fat" days but small portions too.

Worked on computer science book. Must start building a program.
_________________

Tina- the saddle was a total disaster and I hope they keep to their word and ACTUALLY honor their word and grant me a refund. It simply didn't fit, it fit WORSE than my trilogy which doesn't fit Dante well at all. 

But thank you Tina  that's really sweet of you to say. I feel like I'm less independent with my hand but not broken. I haven't given up yet. I figure things have to look up, just gotta persevere and gotta muck through the curveballs first. Be steady, be consistent and persevere and I think it'll work out eventually.

But thank you. I'm just too stubborn to give up! and have learned a lot the hard way. I have a video from July of me on an unbroke 4yr old being broke but it's not my video, so I havent posted it publicly. But I'll say it kills me when I can get on an unbroke youngster and he's an absolute joy to ride. He's through, was tricky to get into the contact but he worked it out and became quite through and consistent. Just had to get over the hump first. The gelding is Frankie's older half brother. 
______________________

Katie- it really was unnecessary. I hate how people think they can bully you into accepting what is wrong. Maybe I just need to socialize more but even in public I avoid most people. Sometime Im social but for the most part I stick to myself and don't say much.

And hand is doing better. It's staying in place but I still have to be careful with it. Definitely can't move my wrist or pinky much at all but eventually I will.

Cats




Dante. These are older but make me sad because I love Dante so much but he needs a new mommy who wants to do what he wants to do, so he can be happy. I'm VERY baby faced and white/blond. Cant help that but I think part of why people try to take advantage of me is because I look so young, innocent and naive. But Dante is so darn cute. He really can be a sweet, lovely boy. Such a stinker but such a sweetheart too.


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## Tazzie

Soon! It's just 6 weeks of your life. You can do it!! Though I know. It'll make you crazy, but hang in there!!! You can do it!

I avoid people in public too :lol: I have a small group of people I talk to, but that's it. Glad your hand is feeling better though!!

Your cats are too cute and so is Dante! I hate he has to find a new mommy


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tazzie said:


> Soon! It's just 6 weeks of your life. You can do it!! Though I know. It'll make you crazy, but hang in there!!! You can do it!
> 
> I avoid people in public too
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I have a small group of people I talk to, but that's it. Glad your hand is feeling better though!!
> 
> Your cats are too cute and so is Dante! I hate he has to find a new mommy


Thank you Katie









I know it's a short time. I'm just really bummed because I can't ride. The 4 babies were doing so well and now I can't ride or make money. I miss working. I miss riding. It centered me and calmed me. When I can't ride I'm just not happy. It's my escape from the world. One thing I feel good about, that I can do well. I don't have a lot of confidence in general but riding I feel good about. I know I learned good stuff from some well qualified trainers and have been very blessed to have met FEI judges, Olympic riders, or international GP riders. I feel very lucky that way. But right now isn't going too well, one thing after another. It's not my fault but it is what it is. My life in the last few years has been, if it can go wrong. It will go wrong. And then it will get 10x worse, kinda get better for a short time then it gets worse and worse. Im fighting back, just lost a lot of confidence and hope. Justice doesn't happen. If you're honest and kind, you're automatically a target.

I'm the same way. I talk to very few people. Ive really secluded myself from others over the last year. People stress me out and I hate conflict. Ill stand up for myself but I don't enjoy it. When I did it all the time, it wasnt so bad but I hate it. Some people get a thrill but I think I've done so much fighting, sticking up for myself and others. I'm worn out. I'm too young to feel this old. 

But thank you. My girlies are really sweet. Athena, the gray lays with me a lot now that I'm home more. But I am too. But I may have to delay selling while we work out the saddle stuff. It's not going well. I'll leave it at that. 

Good news is I have quite a few horses to potentially ride when I heal. 4 babies and an old boss asked if Id be interested in riding 2 more. I might. I don't know right now but quite a bit on my plate atm. I also have some really good people in my life, I feel very blessed.


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## Tihannah

So sorry you have to wait another 6 weeks and I totally know what you mean. Riding and spending time with my horse is such a release for me. If I go more than 2 days without riding, I start to feel anxious and depressed. 

Really keeping my fingers crossed that you find the perfect person for Dante! He looks so sweet in those pictures! And you're right, you do look sweet and innocent. ;-) I couldn't even picture you in the marines! Lol.


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## frlsgirl

I forgot...but are you left or right handed? Maybe the good hand can learn new skills that it couldn't do before? My sister is right handed and she wanted to really challenge herself so she set up her desk for a left handed person; it's really frustrating trying to use her computer but she swears that it's helping her brain make new connections.


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## Tazzie

Oh I know. Any length of time away from riding sucks, I totally understand. BUT, in 6 weeks, you'll be able to ride again! It could be WAY longer if you risked riding now and further injured it. Though, I know you are like me and you know you'd mess yourself up more by riding :lol: but you'll be back soon! Hopefully the babies are still good after their break. Is anyone riding them now, or are they sitting? And never give up! Keep your head up no matter how much life tries to throw you down! You are a STRONG woman.

I understand, trust me. Just surround yourself with good people!

I'm glad she's enjoying mommy time  and why will the saddle stuff delay selling? Isn't he going to a trainer next week? Wouldn't they have saddles that could work? I know the barns I've been to usually have a few saddles to use on training horses. Hopefully it works out!

I'm also glad you have lots of work ready for you when you're healed up! Soon!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- Exactly!! Its' very soothing to be on the back of a horse and to work with them. It's very grounding. While other things are falling apart at least this is going right. It's leveling.

Thank you me too!! That is a major stress of mine is finding him a good home!! He really is a sweet boy, he's very cheeky and playful. He needs to be allowed to have his own personality to be happy. But thank you :lol: Im pretty sweet for the most part but definitely not the person you want to tick off :lol: I think that's why the guys were scared of me. I definitely can get into Marine mode but for the most part Im pretty nice. I can be SUPER sarcastic to almost being obnoxious though. 
____________________________

Tanja- I'm pretty ambidextrous but right hand dominant. Left hand is broken. I absolutely agree with your sister on focusing with using the opposite hand of what you're used to can form interesting paths in the brain. Funny how it works. Brain is like a muscle to be built up and trained and expanded. I see her logic :lol:
___________________________

Katie-
Exactly! Hard to be away for too long and feeling like you cant even lunge or really handle effectively. But exactly! If it can go wrong, it will go wrong and it is not worth the risk! I sometimes question how strong I actually I am. Ive been through a lot and still kicking though, so I guess that's proof enough right? IDK when I fall, I fall pretty hard. But I am trying to keep my head up!!

That's what I try to do. The people in my life now are very good. 

Cats are big loves or at least mine are. Such sweet girls. With the saddle it may delay because the fitter may need to look at Dante and the saddle again to try to get a refund. Im trying everything I can to see justice is done but I dont know if justice will be seen or not. I want no trouble, only my money back. And they do have saddles and things for Dante. It is a training/sales barn, so *fingers crossed*

but thanks. We'll see when I finally heal what I have time for. Definitely going to be busy though but better to be busy than lazy!!

I took some pictures today since it had been so long since Ive taken any pictures of him in a little while. I gave him a bath, loved on him and let him be his playing, cheeky, into everything self. He needs to be himself or hell never be happy.


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## Tazzie

You are pretty strong :wink: you'll make it through, I have NO doubt! And yes, keep that head UP!

That's a good thing 

Hopefully having the fitter and everyone out again will show what we already know. It doesn't fit. And then they just do the refund and be done with it. I had hoped they would have saddles at a training/sales barn! When does he move?

Yup! I usually prefer busy, but I like my lazy days too :lol:

He's just so handsome! Someone is going to be really lucky to snag him!


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol well I hope so. I know when I need it I seem to pull the strength out of somewhere. I REALLY need to send some email but I cant seem to get the phrasing right :/ but I hope everything saddle works out right.

Thank you  Dante thinks he's really handsome too. He's a good boy. I think someone will be really lucky to have him too. I think he'll love hacking, trails, jumping and some dressage work. I think hell be a lot happier for it.

I spent time with Dante and Frankie yesterday and loved on some of the babies. Frankie is such a love and she's pretty goofy too but very sweet. Dante had a face bath, so I hope that helps him out.

I've been somewhat busy of late. Mostly computer, self improvement type work to improve my knowledge and adhere to improving my education and practicing computers. Programming is fun in an annoying kind of way. 

And honestly havent had much to say. Just getting things together and trying to set myself up for success. Hand is a lot more swollen and hurting more but I was told inflammation for a broken bone is a good thing.


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## DanteDressageNerd

The other thing I was thinking about that Ive been working on is letting go of all the things that have happened in my life. It doesn't mean forgetting but Im learning to let things go and learning to not let people get to me. I am too sensitive imo or I am and I'm not. I think it's the Catholic guilt complex (I'm not Catholic, protestant) where I basically think everything is my fault and always assume I'm the problem in every equation. I think it's because people confuse me, so I assume I'm the problem and always try to fix things or make things better. But the thing is you can't live life like that or it will cripple and debilitate you, it will prevent you from living and staying objective. You can never be confident that way. It will also prevent you from saving the worthwhile friendships/relationships, etc and letting go of the ones that you have to sacrifice and bend everything you are to please. Sometimes you have to realize with people, the problem isn't you but a problem they have with themselves or they just arent meant to be in your life and that's okay. Dont force anything, if you have to force anything it is wrong. It should be natural, not forced Dont try too hard. If someone walks out due to a disagreement they're not needed in your life, worthwhile people don't walk out over simple disagreements. You can't please everyone and attempting to do so is only a disservice to yourself. Have enough self respect and love to let people, memories and things go or they will haunt you. Worthwhile people are open to different ideas and thoughts and ask questions, rather than making broad assumptions. We can only grow through differences, if all were the same we would not grow. Right/wrong/offensive we need those discussions to make us think, learn and revaluate ourselves and our lives.

And most importantly life is not and never will be fair, none of us are owed anything. Regardless of the kind of person we are and how we live our lives.

Kinda funny Ive picked up "A Brief History of Time" by Stephen Hawking, I need to get back into physics and get my brain back on track and also to read more of the Bible and pray more. People tell me it's weird that I believe in God and also follow physics/sciences but I see no contradiction. I have a conscience, I can ask if there is a creator which is why I believe. Existence doesn't make sense if it's a random coincidence to me, we wouldn't need to interpret our existence. My sister is atheist/agnostic but we're very respectful of the differences and learn from each others different perspectives and ideas.


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## frlsgirl

DanteDressageNerd said:


> I think it's the Catholic guilt complex (I'm not Catholic, protestant) where I basically think everything is my fault and always assume I'm the problem in every equation. I think it's because people confuse me, so I assume I'm the problem and always try to fix things or make things better.


So true; I encounter this a lot so I try to keep notes or get things in writing from people so that they can't say "Oh, I never told you to do that" which makes me feel like I'm losing my freaking mind and then I try to fix things that aren't mine to fix because I never did anything wrong in the first place.

Regarding the catholic guilt thing - I'm going through something similar with my brother right now; we are not on speaking terms; he believes that I'm a spoiled brat because I got horse riding lessons and piano lessons when I was kid whereas when he was a kid my parents couldn't afford to pay a lot of hobbies; so whenever something good happens to me it's "oh there she goes the spoiled brat always gets what she wants and people just give it to her for free" - he has to think that way about me because otherwise he would have to confront his own insecurities; it's much easier to hate me then to examine oneself. He has no idea how hard I work for the things that I have; he doesn't want to know because he needs to believe that they were given to me otherwise his whole theory on life is in disarray. There isn't anything I can do about it; he would need to change his whole belief system and that's not up to me; it's up to him. So that's my catholic/youngest child guilt; the youngest usually get more or are perceived to get more than the other children and will therefore always be hated. It sucks!


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## Tazzie

Because you're a strong woman :wink: you have strength you don't even know about. Good luck with the emails!

I'm sure he'll be much happier getting variety in his life 

What was wrong with Dante's face? I'm sure he enjoyed time with you. And I'm sure Frankie liked it too!

I hear ya on the busy part. Trying to respond to a couple threads before I head back into the lab for more lab work. Need to run one more gel, then make up another plate. It's been nonstop all week. Love it, but I am DRAINED. Hopefully you're learning a lot!

Boo to the swelling :/ make sure you are keeping it elevated as that will help it out a lot. When I broke my wrist I put my arm on a pillow to give it some elevation. Might not be a bad idea to do that.

You'll get there on the letting go part. Life is hard, but we all get through it at our own pace. Enjoy your book!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Exactly! People who live in denial drive me nuts too. Especially when they accuse or blame me for something I had nothing to do with and fail to take responsibility. 

The only thing I know is some people will never take responsibility for their actions or choices and think the only reason others get anywhere is due to "luck" and sure "luck" has something to do with it but most of it has everything to do with hard work and working smart! Rather than expecting opportunity and special circumstances to fall into your lap, it won't happen if you don't put yourself out there and put yourself in a situation to meet that opportunity.

It's a real shame about your brother. I have relatives like that too. They want to blame everyone else but fail to look at their choices as having anything to do with it. At least you know he just can't face reality or it'd be too painful for him to digest. There are some people who you will never be able to reach or reason with.
___________________

Katie- I try to be. I kinda realized how tough Ive become. I can be pretty rough around the edges. I'm kinda broken. Parts of me are definitely gone but I have no doubt in my life I'll do well career wise. I definitely have leadership ability and gumption, paired with I work hard to gain true competence and to really understand things and not just skim the surface. I want to understand inside and out. When push comes to shove, I push forward. But for relationships in the romantic sense, I really dont think I have it in me to go down that road. It might be cowardice or self protection but I don't have it in me. I'm really shut down that way, I have no desire or need for it. The idea of trying just stresses me out and I dont want it. I don't think I'll get over it and it's not something I chose but it's deeply ingrained. I don't see myself ever settling down or getting married or feeling at ease in a relationship. Something deep inside of me is broken, I think I'm more empathetic and understanding but it's weird what comes to mind when you're really honest with yourself. 

Dante has some scruffy stuff on his face, so I've been scrubbing it with tea tree shampoo and applying MTG to try to get rid of it. And he does. Dante is VERY possessive of his mommy. He called to me a lot the other day. He should be moving to the jumping barn next week, so the trainers are going to do some course work with him and then we'll discuss what price to advertise him at and video, etc *Crossed fingers*

Trust me I understand. I've been pretty drained all week too. But definitely learning!

For the most part I keep it pretty elevated and it's doing better. I can feel the callous and I can tell it's healing but I'm looking forward to having full use again but thanks for the tip 

That's for sure and the sad thing is that you can think you've let things go to where things don't even come to mind anymore and you feel like you're healing and have it all come back and unearthed and you realize things you didn't know before. Life is really hard, that's an understatement. 

I think I'm realizing more and more that as much as I want the idea of a family, the reality of it isn't for me. I LOVE kids and get along with them and I love the idea of meeting my "soul mate" and connecting in a way that seems impossible but reality is Id be terrified and miserable if it came to be. It's funny what you find when you're really, genuinely honest with yourself. And I know how dramatic it sounds but it's honest and it's better to accept it than deny it.

And Dante says hi!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thought Id update more on Dante from yesterday. He's doing well. I gave him a bath and he called to me a lot. He's a Mama's boy. It breaks my heart to sell him but he's so much happier as a jumper and maybe someone might like eventing him. He needs more variety in his life and I'm a dressage rider. I don't like jumping that much, though I'm decent at it. Just not my thing but it is his. He's cool because over fences, even if you make a mistake he'll step in and say it's okay. I got it. But a professional is riding him and he'll be in professional training until he sells. I love him but I think of it kinda like relationships, you can love each other and want the best for each other but it doesn't mean you should stay in each others lives. I wont be happy and he wouldn't be happy with me being unhappy. Fork in the road with each of us going down different roads. I have no doubt we'll fine him an appropriate home where he'll be really happy.

I gave him a bath with tea tree horse soap and then used my human conditioner on his tail. I was a groom, so I take great pride in my ability as a groom. His tail felt like silk and looked so full and healthy. I was so happy. I should have taken pictures but too late.

Dante has a full personality and cracks me up. He's just always into something and is pretty cheeky but he has excellent ground manners and really listens. I take pride in being a good handler as well because where I'm from if you're a rider you also need to be a good horsewoman. You read their body language and make things black and white for them. As firm as necessary, as little as possible. I like Dante because he's so sensitive. Sometimes you need to make a strong correction but he's not a dominant or bullying personality. He's just oh okay, I guess you are boss. Okay I can do that. He's really grown up a lot.
















Also goofy dog. 7yr old shiba inu. He's a good boy, just silly.






I'm also thinking about getting a custom brow band (eventually) for my next horse because I kinda want to get something pink and feminine for a mare. I used to not be big into pink but after the Marine Corps, I've become a pink girl. I like pink and blue :lol: 

Also had a bible study with my family today which was really good where we sat together, read from the bible and discussed moral and ethical dilemmas facing us and also history. It was interesting, then had a really good philosophical discussion with my sister where we talked about religion, ethics, philosophy, psychology, science, economics etc. It's a lot of fun because we all have different perspectives but we're all reasonable and moral, so it proves interesting. Always come out learning something. Dad also made fun of my mother I for our ADHD and having to have animals in order to focus on the discussion :lol:


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## frlsgirl

Cass; speaking of ethical and moral dilemmas, how does one justify riding horses? Especially Dressage seems like such a selfish pursuit of perfection. We actually had friends pray for us because we have a horse; other friends also prayed for us that we will have children soon; like it's unthinkable that a couple would choose to not have children. It really frustrates me when other people don't accept us to the point that they feel the need to pray for us. We accept them, why can't they accept us?


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## Tazzie

I know the feeling. You are still a wonderful person though, and that won't change! I do understand where you are coming from though. You've been severely burned in relationships. I can respect your decision to not pursue anything. As for kids, and of course it is YOUR choice first and foremost, there are ways to have kids without a man. But, I also totally, 100% support your choice to not have them either. As for the term "soul mate", my mother HATES that phrase. She doesn't believe there is just once person on this Earth you are meant to spend forever with. My grandma deeply loved my grandpa, who we lost to cancer. She loved my dad's dad, but he left her for his secretary/mistress. She's now married to an old high school friend, and she deeply loves him too. It just be different kinds of love, but to say there is only one person on this Earth.... I don't know.

Ah, I didn't know that! Poor Dante! Glad you're taking care of it! I'm sure he will do AMAZING once he moves and gets fully immersed in jumping! I do hope you'll share video here or on our other chat!

Glad you are continuing to learn, and glad you are keeping it elevated! I do feel that will help the healing! I'm sure you'll be ready though! How much longer?

Yup :/ the sad reality of life. And yeah, it is a bit of understatement, but I didn't want to say something like "life is brutal."

Dante is so adorable! He looks so happy after getting his spa treatment! It does suck to be at a fork in the road though :sad: but you are making the best choice for you both. He's going to make someone VERY happy. The videos are so cute!

As for the browband, I think what you describe will look STUNNING on Frankie! She'll be a pretty girl, if that is who you end up with! Fingers crossed Dante finds his place!

I'm glad you had such a nice evening with family as well


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- For the ethics of riding horses. I look at it as it is not morally right or wrong to ride a horse but I think people who cry abuse because we ride them need to take their head out of heir @ss and realize most horses wouldn't be bred or born if they weren't meant to do something and a lot of horses actually love having a job. Horses are WAY WAY too expensive to have just to have, so they have jobs just like we do, so we can justify paying for their keep. It's a pretty good gig, maybe 4-5hrs a week of work for board, medical, food, spa treatments, pedicures, etc. And a lot of horses need a job. Look at Fabio with his muscular myopathy issue, if he doesn't work it will cause him pain or Dante needs a job or he's destructive and absolutely awful to be around because he's so crabby but after he works he's much perkier-happier and comfortable in his body, likely because he has a muscular myopathy issue where if he doesn't work it causes his muscles to get stiff and painful. And mentally he needs something to keep him busy. There are people who are unfair or mistreat horses but that doesn't make riding in and of itself abusive. If someone beats the snot out of a horse for no reason but they're frustrated, that's WRONG. 

As for dressage, I think there are people who are cruel and abusive to horses, same as in ANY discipline. ANY discipline will have abusive types but that does not mean everyone is like that or mean you shouldn't learn to ride dressage. Just don't learn from those people or reward abuse. But dressage done correctly increases the understanding of the horse's body for the rider and the horse to interpret the rider's signals. It improves the quality of communication, as well as is the gradual conditioning of the horses mind and body to bring them to a level of fitness to do dressage and "seem" perfect. It's never perfect, a lot of the top riders ride their butts off every time they sit on a horse but I think dressage is a lot about partnership, trust, communication and gaining confidence in each other. Dante used to be horribly spooky to were you couldn't ride him around the arena but through dressage and learning to listen to me and trust me when he's nervous allowed him to get over his spookiness. It's hard to explain but from what Ive experienced in dressage, low level dressage is very good for the horse's body and mind. By being straighter/more symmetrically balanced from left to right, working over the back with engaged hind legs and connecting to the bit, working to the bit strengthens the topline of the horse and allows them to do the movements without hurting themselves because they have the muscular support, as well as conditioned hard/soft tissues to handle that work. It also changes how a horse moves naturally and improves their posture and carriage. I equate to correctly executing yoga or pillates or correct form when working out vs sitting on a couch never working. I think with dressage it's more emphasis on correct form when working vs being allowed to say do weighted squats how you choose and eventually blowing out your knees. If that makes sense? It's about communication, trust and understanding. It is mentally and physically demanding and not every horse or rider can do it at a higher level but that doesn't mean it's abusive. I've worked my body SO hard, in my mid twenties I have more degenerative problems than my parents in their late 50s. But what was asked of me was WAY more than I've ever asked of a horse. I never expected a horse to carry over half it's body weight for 10 miles or PT for 2hrs until they were seeing black and almost passing out with no brakes or taken a horse out or rehab and expected it to do everything and pick up where they left off in 4 weeks after 6months off. I don't know if that makes sense, I was trying to put it in perspective.

Usually when people behave that rudely I'll consider them hypocrites. That's a VERY passive-aggressive way to try to force beliefs, values or judgments on someone else. It's rude. If you don't want kids, that is YOUR choice. If you and your husband are happy that is YOUR business and YOUR choice and is not the business of those people. Same as if you have a horse, they can pray all they want but I hope with their holier than though attitude they know that is a sin in God's eyes. 

I think some people think they're perfect or some people can't see or acknowledge their own flaws or assume their way of life is how everyone should live their life and is the one true way when life isn't that simple. FOr the most part life, what is right or wrong is not black and white. It'd be nice if it were but it's not. And in those cases I think it'd be great if people actually tried to be objective and take themselves out of those positions and try to understand another person. It doesn't mean tolerate BS but I think it broadens scope and awareness and is good when things seem too overwhelming or unfair.

But I will say hypocrites tick me off royally. I'm not perfect, I'm fully aware of that but I resent people make a whole lot of assumptions WITHOUT asking or considering anyone's perspectives but their own. A lot think they're the center of the world and NEVER consider another's perspective or consider people have their own lives and goals that are different than others. For example I'm big on reciprosity and will give a lot of myself to people but I won't keep giving and giving if I get nothing back or get dissed for caring. I wont stress myself over people who always put themselves in the right and never take responsibility or try to improve themselves. 

Sorry kinda turned into a long winded go.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- Thank you Katie  I appreciate it. I try to be the best person I can be. I know I'm not perfect but I do my best. You're a really good person too  

And definitely I hate to admit it because it's hard to explain but I'm pretty badly scarred emotionally from those relationships. I'll think Im better and I'm definitely not. I don't know that Ill ever "heal" but I'll be alright. The systematic manipulation, mind games, bullying, abuse which I wont go into but it messes with you when you realize gut feeling is wrong, when you realize you can't trust yourself. When you realize you let the abuse happen. I dont know how to explain that kind of damage. It adds a lot of depth and perspective but it takes away bliss. Innocence is bliss. You never really want "sympathy" but you do want to be heard, you do want to be understood and unfortunately those kinds of experiences affect something so deep it makes it REALLY REALLY hard to connect to essentially anyone, especially romantically. Itd take a VERY special person to understand that.

I agree. I think people love differently and seek different types of love but for me, I use "soul mate" because I think someone who could be with me doesn't exist or he's one in a billion, so it's not worth pursuing or going through all the stress, anxiety, misery and I don't have it in me to get in another abusive situation. The possible benefit isn't worth the cost. I just don't have it, I know my limits and I know even if you've been through it over and over again, you can miss things because some people are just that clever, just that good at manipulation and games that it can go on for months and you won't realize it until it's too late. Life isn't fair and I know I'm not owed a relationship or entitled to a healthy one. But I wont have kids without someone to raise them with because I couldn't do it alone. It would hurt to see a baby walk its first steps and have no one to share it with. To me part of the experience of parenthood is sharing it with someone.

But yes Dante is being taken care of. I think it's from being out in the rain with all his gear on. I'll definitely be sharing the video when there is one made! He loves jumping. Mari wants Dante to jump a full course a few times before video is taken but it's a better situation to get him going down a different path.

I have about 3 more weeks. I may ride sooner than that but we'll see. 

:lol: No I entirely agree. Hard to write "life is brutal." Life is brutal and we aren't owed a dam* thing :lol: We aren't owed happiness, health, or the good life or even fairness but just gotta keep going.

He really is. He's silly but he is really cute and sweet. He loved his spa day :lol: it's going to be hard to say good-bye but I know it's for the best. He'll be a lot happier elsewhere. He needs to do what he loves, not what I love.

And I think so too. I was think pearls for the center piece then light pink and dark pink for the outer portion. I think it'll be really pretty on a dark bay mare! And I hope it is. I just like her. She has such a good, kind spirit and I really need that in my life but I hope Dante finds his home soon too. We'll be pricing him to sell, not to get what we want, so hopefully he sells soon.

And it was. I have a good family and for that I feel very blessed.


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## Tazzie

It shows that you are a good person :wink: and thanks 

No, I get it. I totally get it! No need to explain stuff that hurts, trust me. Long as you can love yourself that is all that matters! And yeah, a relationship has to be two people that understand and respect each other. What you had was neither from the other person :/

Fair enough! I can understand all of that. And I kind of figured :lol: I wouldn't be able to do it on my own either!

Hopefully it goes away soon! And I really can't wait to see the video!! He'll look awesome, I just know it!

Not too much longer! I wouldn't ride though.... but I'm paranoid when it comes to ouchies.

Exactly :lol:

It will be, but that whole "if you love them, let them go." I feel it fits in this instance. You love him, but knows he loves something else. So you're letting him go to do that. I know he'll be happy jumping with someone!

It really will look gorgeous! I hope this all works out! Frankie sounds very special 

You very much are blessed


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## DanteDressageNerd

I try to be. I know I'm not perfect, I can't really be anything other than what I am. I've tried and failed miserably. Same with you can't hide your true colors, they always come out so why bother hiding? Except most people seem frightened to actually get to know themselves, good and bad. We all have our flaws but we do our best. And you're welcome 

Absolutely. And absolutely relationships need to built on mutual respect, a desire to understand one another and support. Without that you have nothing. With them it was all an illusion of what I wanted because they behaved and showed me what they thought I wanted. I'd like to think I can spot the warning signs but I always get blindsided and shocked by people. I blame the aspie in me. I want to think people don't shock me anymore but they do all the time. Some you'll simply never understand, I try but some you just cant and dont want to.

Exactly!! You can't do horses and have your own life when you're trying to work and be a mommy 24/7. And always need to have a horse in your life. A big part I think is forming memories with your partner and growing together as a family. I think it'd feel to empty and overwhelming without. 

A different trainer who broke her metatarsal also said her Dr cleared her to ride after 4wks. Mine doesn't want to clear me until 6wks and I just want back on if the hard callous is in place. I hope I can go back to riding soon.

I think so too. I think we'll both be happier in another situation. 

I think so!! And I hope so too. I really like Frankie. She's what I'm looking for but we'll see how life turns out. She's not a WOW mover where you're like oh yeah she's going to be super fancy. But she's a very powerful mover, really drives her hind legs. She's going to be bouncy and I'm pretty sure her canter is going to be back breaking for a while but as she gets stronger, more coordinated, balanced and able to sit she'll change. She has a good slope to her shoulder and doesn't seem to move through them well but I think once she has shoes on, starts working over her back and is in balance she'll move a lot better and be very solid. I think she'll do the movements well but she's not going to be a WOW, flash, amazing mover. She'll be a competent mover that really needs to be ridden, balanced and helped to get that freedom in her shoulders and swing but the mechanics are there.

Not a lot to add but I did lunge Dante yesterday and holy smokes he has developed such a powerful engine behind. His canter was AMAZING. So much drive from behind and he sat more than Ive ever seen him sit and carry behind with so much lift in his shoulder. It was beautiful!! Huge overstep. He really is quite a nice horse, I was like dang it Dante you really could be such a nice dressage horse but he just doesn't enjoy it. Talented but no desire. You cant make them do what they dont want to and you cant make them be what they're not happy being.


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## frlsgirl

How is his jumping training coming along? Does he still love it?


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## Tazzie

Yup! No one is perfect at all. And people definitely aren't as secure in themselves as you and I are. We both know exactly who we are. And knowing that can scare people. Such is life.

It sucks that there are people like that out there though :/ it sucks you have to even look for warning signs.

Yeah, I couldn't imagine doing all I do without Nick. I would miss sharing the memories with him for sure. And it would be hard to continue in horses without him.

She could have had a less severe fracture though. Just be careful!!

I'm sure you'll unlock her potential  I would LOVE to see how she moves!

Sounds like he looked amazing! I know it sucks though. We know he'll be happy moving on though!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- as far as I know Dante is still enjoying the jumping, he definitely likes it better than dressage. I can say that much. He's supposed to go to the jumping barn tomorrow *fingers crossed* I want to get a video of him doing a course so I can start advertising and finding him a new and good mommy. He's a good guy, I think we'll be able to find a good home for him. 
_____________________________

Katie- Definitely not. And that is for sure. I notice a lot of people seem intimidated and scared of people, especially women who know themselves and have no problem telling it like it is. I've noticed I've mellowed out a TON from what I used to be. As a Marine, I had a lot of blood and could be quite imposing but not in a nasty way, just a firm, look this is how it is whether you like it or not kind of way. I was very direct and blunt, characteristics I appreciate in others. I'm mistrustful of passive-aggressive people because those are the ones who are naturally aggressive but lack the courage to come forward with honesty. And I just have never been the person who tells people what they want to hear, I'm pretty honest that way. 

It really does. Life is brutal that way and having to figure out who those people are. It's terrible but unfortunately there are a lot of really shady people and you cant' avoid people or shut off, that's a cowardly solution. You have to learn to work with them and keep on keeping on, even when you want to throw in the towel. It's just not an option. Sometimes it takes everything I have to do essentially anything. 

Her fracture was actually worse than mine she broke 2 bones, instead of one but I think my Dr is very cautious. 

I think/hope so too. I wish I had taken a video of when I saw her free lunge but I'll probably get to see her go again soon and I'll take some video and share it of her free lunging before she's vetted. I'm going to put shoes on her. She has good feet but she definitely needs front shoes. I think her movement will be a lot like her dad when she learns how to use her body and realizes where her feet are and learns to stretch through her neck and shoulder and come up in her back. She has a bit more her mom's hind end and is more of a power, drive mover. Her canter is kinda chaotic but when it's organized and she learns to push from behind I think it'll make a big difference. I feel like she has a lot of movement and just doesn't know what to do with it which is why she moves kinda plain. She's one that will really need to be over her back, half halted and organized or wont move well. I think she's one that would shut down if not confident. I think she'll move how the riders rides her if that makes sense? I wont be surprised if she's awkward through certain phases of training but I think she'll be a competent mover and I hope she has mom's work ethic.

Plus the Star Wars music is that not a sign? I joked with a friend of mine who is super close to getting her silver medal that I was going to be evil and try to mix Star Wars and Star Trek music for a freestyle and she was like all the nerds in all the world will see your end. The canter in the first video is almost identical to Frankie's but hers is obviously more baby and awkward.









If she doesnt work out for whatever reason. I'll probably wait a while and save until I can afford to import something from Germany and I wouldn't mind an excuse to go back. I'd love to go back and try and ride more horses :lol: and the stable I'm thinking of are VERY good to do business with. I have a lot of respect for them. They honor their contracts. My mom's family is from Bremen. 

He really did. I was impressed with how well he was moving. But I'm really ready to advertise and just need that darn video to finally get it all going. I'm ready for the next phase and tired of sitting on the sidelines waiting on people, so to speak :lol:
________________________

Overall I'm still struggling with depression issues but I'm trying to work them through. It's hard because I get it pretty bad. The bottom line I've found that's route in it is I've been allowing other people to define me and how I am. Always being submissive, on good behavior, being obedient and dutiful which I'm very much someone who thinks for myself. I am extremely independent and willful. I will not be controlled or passively manipulated. I'm usually manipulated through logic and people appealing to my compassionate side but it doesn't mean you go with it just because that's what people want. I feel like I've lost a lot of fight.

I'm trying to read the bible more and turn to God, as well as to look into medication for depression because mine is debilitating, it makes it very hard to function when you're reliving every doubt, insecurity, painful thoughts and memories you want to forget over and over in your mind blaming yourself for everything and re-victimizing yourself based off the actions of incredibly sh!tty people. I'm having to realize it's NOT my fault as much as I want to blame myself. It isn't my fault they're literally horrible people, it is not my fault that happened but it is my fault for letting them have that power over me.

I've also decided to study more law. It's been years since I've studied any law and I feel that will be very beneficial to me to learn more about.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Well I'm a dumb @ss :lol: the horses weren't going outside tonight, so earlier I lunged Dante and later I took him for a walk and it wasn't quite dark out so I thought hey I'll walk Dante in the outdoor arena and take his lead off and we'll walk together. Well he took off galloping with sliding stops, leaping into the air and bucking, spins giving me heart failure and all and pulled a shoe. Good news is he trotted sound, the farrier will be coming out tomorrow to fix it and his hoof isn't torn up too badly. But I'm paranoid :lol:

Bad news I couldn't find the shoe, I looked and looked, even when it was dark and I needed a flash light, I kept looking. I can be such an idiot. Dante trotted sound and all but *head desk* I can be so so naively stupid with good intentions. Dante's very athletic, I though he'd like to be out for a little bit :-( My brain has already run through every worst case scenario and I'm like brain I've had enough. Stop. I hope everything will be okay. 

Of course Dante was getting into everything he could. Knocked over a bunch of stuff from a drawer. Pulled fly sheets from the horse's stalls (I put them back) it takes him 2 seconds to pick them off the stall doors. He also picked up a bucket and flipped it over and banged the wall with it. He's so cheeky, he can't help himself. I think he gets bored and needs to entertain himself? I ground tied him to try to get pictures but oh well. He's not destructive, just playful. He also picked up a rag and started waving it around :lol: my little ADHD horse child.

Dante lunging from earlier. He isn't sitting as much as the other day but Dante's moving barns tomorrow to the jumper barn. I gave him a bath clipped his whiskers and bridle path. He almost let me clip his ears without sedative or a twitch but then he wasn't okay, so I stopped. I can't risk it with my hand. 






I also spent time with Frankie. She came up to me, nose in face and was like I'll take my kisses now. So gave her lots of nose kisses and love. She licked my neck which I'll admit is weird but she was very cuddly and sweet. It was like ahh I love you too Frankie. The other day when I was leading her she had a horse fly on her side, didn't do anything and I thought yep that's why I want her. I always have the quirky horses who while they are athletic and very capable, lack the right kind of brain for what I want to do. But I think she will. I need something I can actually succeed with, instead of setting myself up to fail time and time again and expecting different results.


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## frlsgirl

I've been very fortunate in that Ana has never pulled a shoe despite bucking, spinning, running and sliding stops. Maybe every barn should invest in a metal detector for such incidents


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I like that idea. Investing in metal detectors might be a good idea for every barn to find lost shoes. Though my trainer said she couldnt find a missing shoe, despite using one in an arena in Florida once.

I did find the shoe though! I found it pretty easily! And Dante has a shoe back on and moved to the jumper barn which is REALLY nice. I didn't realize it was so fancy. I hadn't gone but I have two trainer and one of my trainers works there, my vet, chiropractor, etc know it and all said it's a really good barn. It definitely is. 3 arenas, horsey treadmills, really nice-big stalls, good hay/grain, etc. It's really nice. He'll be on a dry lot at night when the weather is good.

Dante's neighbor is a GP jumper.
_________________

Dante will start full training on Sunday, so tomorrow I'll go out and walk him around since it's storming tonight. I walked him for about an hour today, groomed him and loved on him. He's a really good boy, he really has excellent ground manners. Right now he's a little wide eyed from the change but I think he's going to like this new barn. He can see out of all 4 corners of his stall and it's busy which he likes. He's very interested in things. The change is going to be good, he'll be ridden 5-6 times per week and ridden by a variety of trainers and riders which will be good for him.

Dante is bewildered by his life changing experience. He has hay and seemed pretty calm once he got to eat and nuzzle his neighbor. I also walked him around the property and hopefully can walk him in the main outdoor ring tomorrow.


______________________________

As a person I'm growing. I talked to my sister and we agreed I need to be medicated for my depression. It's getting to a point where I can't manage it on my own. It's gotten pretty bad. Where you can be smiling and so warm to people and they have no idea how much it took for you to get out of bed or the kinds of things you've been thinking about. A friend of mine lost a friend from depression and left un-managed, I can easily see how it gets to that point. And I think we need to educate ourselves to a point of understanding, rather than persecuting for what our culture doesn't understand. It saddens me to think how many lives have been lost, not just in the physical but potential ruined from people not getting proper help for their mental illness. You can't explain to someone who doesn't have a mental illness how debilitating it really is. It's not a strength or will power issue, consider it a chemical-biological issue. But mental illness is not a deficit, it's a strength. It sucks but it's enlightening and allows you to experience and see things from a perspective you never would otherwise. It's eye opening. I think you become more understanding, rather than judging but you still hold people accountable for their choices and actions.

I'm open about what Im experiencing because in complete honesty you can't fear who you are or what people will think or how they could use that information to hurt you. A life lived in fear or hiding is hardly a life. I can't live in hiding, it feels like suffocation and I wont live like that. I'm more afraid of going through life as a coward than really experiencing life. I am not afraid, though I should be. My strength is my tenacity and fortitude.

I think sometimes in struggle people only see their fight and don't consider what others have been through or are going through, when it's important to try to see from anothers perspective. It's important to consider where a person has walked to get where they are today or what they've been through, rather than simply seeing what they have or they are now. They didn't start that way. I've fought so many battles and I know it's not over yet, not by a long shot. It's just starting but I'm hoping if I can work out what to do with the depression it will help.

Life isn't fair. It isn't just and at no point are you owed a thing but that doesn't mean you give up and it doesn't mean you hide. You have to persevere. Perseverance in the face of adversity is the most remarkable sign and building block of developing character. It's an opportunity. Life wasn't meant to be easy, sometimes it's downright cruel and without reason or any kind of fairness.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Not a big update.

Went clothes shopping with my mother yesterday. She asked if I would so we spent time together. I ended up getting a really lovely white dress, it made me feel very elegant and pretty. Also learned more about makeup application which was interesting because I have no real artistic talent to speak of but I think it is a useful skill, especially in terms of presentation and professionalism in business. And I tend to be drawn to more "classic" or vintage inspired styles. It's been a while since I thought of it because it's been so long since Ive gone to a business social or done that type of stuff but I definitely took the room. I wasn't always the most beautiful but I was well spoken and articulate.

And no I didn't groom Dante because I have no grooming products at the barn and feel weird nabbing something. Plus Dante's in full training, so I really hope he's successful and does well. He's going to get a lot of exposure here, which I think will be really good for him. Professionals are riding him and I'm hoping to go out and watch soon and get him on the market and get the ball rolling.

Also talked to a friend who was trying to convince me to look for a "diamond in the rough" when horse shopping and I explained for what I'm looking for. That's what it costs. I've taken chances on offbeat horses and taken changes on horses so quirky it was a dead end from the start but I'm done setting myself up for failure. Horses are so expensive, keeping a performance horse is expensive no matter what horse you have, so might as well buy the best horse you can afford.

Also wrote my emails and I'll say I'm working on getting my confidence and self assurance back. I've allowed myself to become so soft spoken that I've lost my edge which I worked so hard to gain. I wasnt tough Lady, I couldnt' care less what anyone thought of me. I was very matter of fact, I was not insensitive or outright rude, I was very approachable as a "boss" or "leader" but I called people on their BS and made them accountable for it. And I will say the guys were scared of me because I had a cool sort of anger where when I spoke, every word was very deliberate and sharp and when I spoke, I was heard which is important. No one thought it was cute or funny when I was angry, they were like yes 'mam where as other people they'd mess around but me they were like yes mam! And mam is usually only used in reference to Officers but me they did I think out of respect and to show their seriousness and they were listening.


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## frlsgirl

I'm glad you are seeking treatment for depression; it's not really a taboo subject anymore like it was 20 years ago. I've been on meds since 1998ish; and I've been on Zoloft for several years now; I have GAD though which can turn into depression. Ever since my mom died I've had terrible bouts of sadness despite being on meds. I think it's a matter of finding the right meds and the right dosage; it's normal to be sad when something sad happens; it's not normal to be sad continuously. My dose is low enough that I can still be sad when appropriate but I'm getting out of bed in the morning, and unless I have too much caffeine I'm mostly pretty chill, but when my anxiety gets going, oh boy, watch out, everything is a disaster. Having Ana in my life has given me a new sense of purpose. You might be unusually sad right now because you are preparing to say good bye to Dante which is sad but also shows tremendous strength and sensibility on your part.


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## knightrider

Have you been watching the Olympics?

I was curious because of comments I have read on your posts about cross country riders and dressage. Of course, this is the Olympics, so they even get dressage coaches before they do their dressage portion. Could you possibly comment on the dressage portion of the 3 day event in the Olympics?

Also, I know you rode 3 day event, so you know a lot about it. Could you comment about the cross country phase that was televised today? It surely did look challenging! Especially that one jump where they had to jump a corner! And that frog jump! And some of those tricky turns! It was really exciting to watch. Can you talk about the skill level of the riders and horses? Who was impressive, who was not, etc.

Other people might benefit from your knowledge if you want to post it on here http://www.horseforum.com/horse-talk/olympic-equestrian-games-720169/page4/

Or not . . . I have learned a lot from reading your journal (and other people's as well!) Thank you, as always!


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## Tazzie

Late to the party, but Dante sure looks happy in his new digs! Time to be a grown up pony now! I'm sure he's killing it!

I'm glad you're going to go on meds. It certainly isn't a bad thing to admit it's more than you can handle on your own. Kudos for realizing that!

I saw the dress on Facebook, and you look lovely in it!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- absolutely and I am so glad people are finally coming to try to understand more about mental illness and that it isnt something cooked up in people's minds but a very real chemical-biological issue. To me it is not at all a weakness to admit you have a mental illness, it's a sign of strength. I think people with mental health issues end up with an opportunity to get to know themselves truly. To have to be that strong and have that much fight and self awareness just to function in day to day tasks. It takes a lot just to function. And trust me I understand how the anxiety and depression turn into a terrible concoction and living nightmare. The thoughts start running away with you drawing to every worst possible conclusion and you're absolutely hopeless thinking it's all going to go so terribly that you'll never see the light of day again, it's debilitating and soon you lose all sense of self and confidence and shut down into an apathetic, sad, hopeless creature trying to put on a smile so no one worries about you. Anxiety is really rough as well, I'm glad you sought treatment, it's so helpful but sorry you go through depressive episodes too :-( it's really not a fun thing to go through. And feeling that apathetic and inept is just an awful feeling and shuts you down so much. Hard to find peace when your thoughts are your cage.

I don't know if selling Dante makes me strong. It's definitely not easy and I know it's going to hit home when he actually sell and is gone but I also know it's what is best for him and I want him to be happy, successful and feel appreciated. I know we wont have that together and Dante is a horse who very much so likes to feel good about what he's doing and feel good about himself. He wants to please but wants to have his opinion about it. He also needs more versatility in his life to be happy, he'd love hacking out and doing some flat work then some jumping. He loves change and busy places. He loves this new barn because it's busy and there is always something going on. 

He is something though, I never noticed it before but he definitely has a "look at me" presence to him and is very flashy. He gets noticed anywhere he goes. And of course he LOVES being told how pretty and wonderful he is. He's like any man, just loves to be told how muscular, masculine and perfect he is. He thinks pretty highly of himself :lol: but he's a good man. 
_______________________

knightrider22- I commented on the thread. I just look at it as all those riders are WAY better than any of us and we should appreciate them for what they do well. It doesn't mean they are perfect but they got to the level of competition they are at and that is hard work and takes a lot which IMO should be appreciated.

Phillip Dutton had a brilliant XC ride. The course overall looked SUPER tough and SUPER technical. It's good to see the tables turn and not see the same top 3 competitors winning all the time but I agree that frog jump was SUPER tricky. A lot of those obstacles were pretty tricky, like if you didn't negotiate it just right you were done for. What a tough course! And WOW to the riders who did so well through it. 

I just feel it's important with the dressage portion in eventing not to expect flawless, perfect rides. Event horses are not dressage horses, they have 2 other disciplines they have to be great at and they have a very different build and brain than a dressage horse. It's hard to ride a solid dressage ride on an event horse at that level IMO and I very much so think those riders should be appreciated for how accurately they ride and how they manage to ride solid tests on horses fit and ready to gallop an average of 21mph for several miles, through water and over obstacles. To me that is impressive. 

I'm pretty out of the loop eventing wise. I haven't evented in 9-10yrs and didn't compete at a high level. I got to school training level courses

But thank you and you're welcome. I try to share what I can. I'm not always good at relating my adventure but I try to share and hope it helps somebody or educates in some way.
_________________________

Katie- lol it's all good. Dante is loving the new place. I walked him and down a step up which is a cross country obstacle and he was perfect. Was like okay mom, got it. Wasn't scared of the obstacles but we'll see how he is when he jumped them. I may get to see him ridden tomorrow but I don't know for sure. 

And no. It's definitely getting to a point where stubborness has failed and it's time to accept it's chemical. But thank you. I'm hoping it helps and makes a difference.

And thank you  I really-really like the dress. It's nice to feel pretty sometimes.

I spent time with Dante today and he needed so much love and attention, poor thing thought he was neglected :lol: I did a lot of in hand work and he's been super good about it all.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad he is  and that's good he seems so pleased with everything! I do hope you get to watch him ride!! You'll have to let me know how he goes! I'm sure he'll be super pleased with himself!!

I'm sure it will  I'd love to see you healthier in that aspect. It's hard seeing you like that 

Yes it does!! You did look very pretty in it 

I'm sure he totally enjoyed the attention! What a love bug!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Me too. I did get to watch him ridden and over fences he's a strong ride. He gets strong to the fences. He's pretty bold. He jumped a 2'6 wall today was game. He's learning to listen to the rider instead of forming his own plan. He's getting better but he's getting a much needed wake up call that he is not in control of the situation. I wish the eventers in my area knew how to ride because I think he'd be pretty decent at it. He has a good jumping style and is careful, strong and handy. He's an arrogant thing, really thinks he knows it all and gets upset when corrected.

But thank you  I really love that dress and I appreciate your concern. It got pretty bad, so I was like yep don't be a hero and tough it out when I'm not managing it as well as I could. I don't drink as a general rule which is good because drinking triggers it. 

And he definitely did. He's a Mama's boy!

But I will say I want back on Dante SO SO bad. Watching someone else ride him made me realize how well I actually ride him. It takes a lot to ride him, he's not easy and I can get movement from him no one else seems able to. That's not me being arrogant, people have told me that before and I was just mm maybe, IDK. But Dante really trusts and listens to me, he definitely gives me something he doesn't give other people. It also made me realize maybe over fences, it wasn't him being that easy or wonderful for me but that I actually ride pretty decently. I used to jump 3'3-3'6 and I had a tricky horse but my style of riding is very different from a lot of riders which works for Dante but it makes it hard when passing him onto someone else. This is from our 4th jumping lesson? Before this I hadn't really jumped in 8-9yrs?











Dante's first show. I think he did amazing for his first show and how nervous he was. Outside he was overwhelmed, inside he really listened to me and did his very best. All business.





Bareback lesson, he was so sassy that ride. It's not on video but he kicked the wall a few times :lol: and I wasn't helping because I was showing my anxiety and getting flustered and silly. 






Honestly with Dante he is a tact and skill oriented ride. The straight forward, what should work stuff doesn't work with him. With jumping I feel less is more with him but he also needs to learn to let a rider ride him but at the same time a rider needs to be careful not to over ride or micromanage him, he hates that. I think he'll be a great horse for the right person and someone will get really lucky with him. Because he is a really good horse, he's just quirky and it's the rider who creates the movement on him. He has some stellar movement in there.

When my hand gets better, I'm going to ask Mari if I can take lessons riding Dante.


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## frlsgirl

That's so funny that he gets annoyed when people correct him; reminds me of Ana "no mom, it's right at C, not left, duh!" I also know what you mean about riding your own horse well; I've really adjusted myself to Ana and assume that she is the norm; so then when I ride a very balanced horse like the big Hanno or Trooper, I'm shocked at how easy they are to ride; like I was expecting to do a whole bunch of work and I don't need to; they do everything by themselves! So I'm actually grateful for that; she's made me a better rider because she just won't go well unless you micro manage every mili-second. We are working on that now; my shoulders used to hurt so bad from carrying her head; now I expect her to hold her own head up so she gets little half-halts when she becomes to heavy in my hands. Turning her used to take an act of God because she was so heavy on the forehand; so now we focus on lightning up those shoulders at the beginning of the ride so it makes turning her during our ride so much easier. I still have to sit a very special way on her; kind of like French Classical style, with a longer leg and extremely tactful seat otherwise her back will squat away from the pressure and we are right back on the forehand again. I watched my trainer ride her a couple of months ago and I guess I was expecting some miraculous improvement; didn't really see that; of course my trainer is more skilled than me at riding her but not by THAT much. 

But back to you and Dante....I can understand that you are itching to ride him again. How much longer before the doctor clears you to ride?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- in complete honesty I am waiting for my hand to tell me it's ready. The grip strength and sustainability just isn't there yet. One of my trainer's Mari broke 2 metacarpal bones in her hand and was cleared after 4 weeks. I'm at 4 weeks but my Dr said no until 6 weeks. And I'm just waiting for my hand to ready if that makes sense. I want to be back on riding because before I broke my hand I was breaking 4 baby horses as well who were doing really-really well. 

Qira was the least broke and Dev the most broke. Pam is riding Dev and Friday and Saturday is being ridden by her groom who is a very cool person. He's Mexican and grew up riding bull horses. But Qira I think she's waiting on me to ride because I'm very skillful and gentle. I get along with very sensitive horse which Qira is VERY VERY sensitive. I was so looking forward to riding her more.

I think everyone has their unique style of riding and way they sit that works best for them. What is most effective for me wont' be the same as it is for you or my trainer's who are conformed very differently. I tend to sit more on my pockets but that is my most effective place to be. 

And absolutely. I absolutely believe horses and riders form special partnerships where one person can get something from a horse, even if they're not as skilled because that horse and rider understand each other. And some horses do better with a less skilled rider than a more skilled one. With horses I feel it can be a case by case scenario and I think sometimes when people only ride a certain type of horse dont' realize how differently a horse can ride from horse to horse, even being trained by the same person or being the same breed or whatever. 

Like if people ask me a question, I feel now a days a lot of my answers seem to be well it depends or it could be this or this and something I don't know, or it could be a million different things. There is SO SO much grey to horses and I feel a lot of riding becomes a bit case by case. You still have a solid program or system of training but you adjust methods or styles to fit a horse because they don't all ride the same. And what gets one going well will make another go poorly. There are some consistent things that seem universal but then a lot of grey areas and it's a very difficult thing to discuss and I realize how vague I'm being but it's hard to be specific with so many variations. And my brain tends to see things in pictures or as a bunch of micro parts where when I talk about something I have to try to put all those parts into a whole and isolate which parts are important and which parts are not to other people.

Every horse and rider are different and sometimes the blind arrogance gets to me in the horse world where people are passionately opinionated one way or another but fail to listen. lol kinda why I mostly stick to this forum. I have no energy for debates. To me proof is int he pudding, not in word choice or discussion. Riding is experiencing, not theory. Because theory is a very different thing from reality and in horse I tend to roll my eyes a lot when people get so hopped up on what they read or ideas or how they think things should work vs practical, hands on experience and knowledge. You just cant learn to ride or be an expert handler from a book. In the mind it's very easy to form expectations or imagine how you'd like things to be and very hard to do or make happen in reality.

I learned to handle well handling stallions, raising babies with my trainer, handling tons and tons of different horses, trial and error, being instructed or shown with my trainer and also because she is BHS certified she has a wealth of knowledge for understanding horses in general. I feel like you learn so much watching and interacting with horses and those experiences can never be replaced by a book or "theory." You learn to see, respond and apply. Which is why I'm so glad I was a working student and have had the experience to ride and work with so many different horses. It really opens your eyes and gives you a broader perspective which I think is very important.


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## frlsgirl

Totally agree - the more I learn, the more I realize I don't know BECAUSE of all the grey areas; I was so frustrated when I first started training Ana because trainer A would say "do this" and then trainer B would say "no, that's all wrong, you need to do this" - so frustrating. Some things work on Ana just like the book says it would and others, well I guess Ana didn't read that particular book. This is why I subscribe to different theory providers/trainers; because I take bits and pieces from each and use them to ride Ana; some things might look a little funny, but hey they work and do her no harm, so I don't see a reason to change my approach. The saddle fitter re-affirmed this; she said sometimes you will find yourself having a lesson with a trainer that you don't agree with because it won't work for your horse; so you just politely smile and say thank you and know that you are never going to use them again with this particular horse anyway.

Glad to hear you are taking it easy with your hand; you kind of need your hand for the rest of your life so you might as well make sure it's 100% before you subject it to possibly strenuous situations.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I really wish you could come out here and take some lessons with my trainers, I think you and Ana would get along with them. They're both the type where if something isnt working they'll ask to climb on the horse so they can feel why because how something looks can be so different to how it feel or what is happening. Mari (other trainer) is great because she focuses more on mechanics. Pam is more the art, feel, finess and Mari does too but has a different way of approaching it and will focus on different things, so together they're a great team. And I like them because they don't let their egos get in the way of helping the rider and horse and they aren't snobby (they wont dis you for not having a fancy-expensive horse) and they're not unfair to the horses. The environment is good because everyone is encouraging of one another to your face and behind your back. Like one of my friends has a cob/paint that she's shown through 4th level and is getting ready to do PSG and almost has her silver medal on. He's only 14.3h but she's doing great with him! Honestly after getting out of the Marines, I came back to MO just to train with Pam because she's such a good trainer and has done so much.

Like she was in the Uk for 8yrs training with Christopher and Jane Wilson Bartle (Christopher and Jane are siblings and both competed at the olympics in dressage in the 80s). Christopher now trains the German olympic event team and he himself rode internationally in eventing but Pam schooled through advanced level eventing, used to be an exercise rider on racehorses. Has her BHS certification and then she came back to the states, broke her back, switched to dressage and goes down to FL for winter and gets to train with the top, international class riders and come back with more information and ideas. And brings in those type of clinicians which is really cool. Lee and I got along really well, he's an FEI 3* judge and Devon Kane whose an international GP rider (she trains young horses and trained her main GP horse) and is a really nice-lovely person. She's not a snob at all, she actually grew up riding ranch qhs. And brings in really neat people, like Debbie Witty (owner/creator of trilogy saddles), etc. I know how expensive that all sounds but it's not that bad. I also got to go to and ride in Germany because of Pam which I'm so thankful for. Anyways I shared that to say it's important to have a trainer you totally trust and feel confident they're leading you down the right path without feeling like you're being led astray or going to be put into an unfair situation or your horse is going to be pressured beyond what she's ready for.

And exactly a lot of riding is trial and error, figuring out what works for you and Ana or what doesn't. Dressage and riding in general to me is really hard to get into. And we all make mistakes along the way but it's how we form our programs and figure things out. Not a single rider, horse or situation is perfect. 

And I absolutely love how the saddle fitter phrased that situation. I've definitely cliniced/rode with people, as I'm sure you have where they're so into themselves they dont listen and the horse goes worse and worse. I used to not stick up for the horse because I just figured oh well they know better than me and eventually I came to realize sometimes you have to stick up for yourself and your horse because some clinicians are wrong and sometimes the "expert" doesn't know as much as they sound like they know.

And definitely. My biggest fear is starting recovery over or having permanent nerve damage because I was reckless. My hips, knee and back are already damaged beyond repair from being stupid and pushing beyond what I should have. I had a lot of pressure on me but I should have said no and told them how hurt I was but I was a female marine and didn't want to look weak.


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## frlsgirl

I think that is just part of getting older and wiser; I always thought that everyone was just so much more knowledgeable than me and so I disregarded my own instincts to please the experts and now I know better; I've had Ana long enough now where I'm problem solving on my own by picking through a toolbox of skills that I've learned from various trainers. Filming myself ride helps me a lot as well because I'm my own worst critic; and sometimes things look different from the top then they do from the ground; like I know now when her head gets too low by reconciling how she feels in my hands with what I can see on camera. 

That's great that you have access to so many great resources. Sarah Martin is flying in from Colorado this fall and I'm eager to clinic with her; we are also having an adult rider camp which includes lessons with 4 different experts as well as lectures and sessions with a Pilates instructor and equine massage therapist. I'm hoping that I can scrape enough money together so that I can attend at least one of those events. Laurie Hedlund is one of the clinicians and I've lessoned with her and think she's awesome. 

Ultimately, whenever things don't work, I go back to the basics; first I try to identify WHAT exactly is not working and then try to figure out WHY it's not working and go to my toolbox to see if I can fix it. Ana is so dang smart; sometimes you have to just surprise her with something she doesn't expect. Sometimes, I'm the problem; my brain isn't fast enough to process her evasions; in that case I just leave the arena and go for a trail ride; because I would rather not train at all than to let her take over and train me, lol.


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## DanteDressageNerd

And also gaining confidence in yourself, rather than being too humble that you don't trust yourself but at the same time humble enough to have open ears and know who to listen to and who not to. And who is good to listen to on some things and not on others. I feel like you always stand to learn something or a new-better way to do something or to in general you're always learning. You learn a lot from riding a variety of horses, working with good trainers and listening, reading, and experiencing what you can. Filming and video helps a lot too. It's very grounding and helps correlate what you're feeling vs what an instructor is seeing or how feel can be separate from what is being seen.

I think it's important to have rider's you want to ride like or emulate. Like I love Carl Hester, Charlotte Dujardin, Anna Sophie Fiebelkorn, and Hubertus Schmidt as well as to see those riders ride young horses and work through problems or I like Isabel Werth for her accuracy and mastery of execution. And having trainers who are still riding and constantly improving themselves too is a big help. Clinics, and riding a variety of horses who you learn so much from every horse. You learn to recognize more when you're creating a problem or where the horse isnt understanding something and to develop clearer and clearer aids. It's such a complicated process but always important. 

But certainly it's always important to go back to the basics. I think we all do. And sometimes as riders we get too busy in our heads and think we can think through a solution, rather than riding it. I know myself as long as I stay out of my head and just ride I'm fine but if I get too in my head, I have problems. And focus is a big one, focusing on what I'm feeling and what I want to feel and how to get it. And it is good to take break sometimes when you're both headed for a fight or a bad situation to just exit the arena and give yourselves peace and positivity.

For example I break/start babies and ride a lot of young horses, most of my experiences is working with horses with psychological issues from bad training, physical issues, green horses, and retraining projects. You learn a lot about yourself and a lot about horses through them. I try to make things very simple and straight forward, for example if a horse doesnt understand the outside rein and goes through the outside shoulder, I'll have a connection and counter bend, pet with the inside rein with them sent into the connection and then after they meet the outside rein, I position and use my inside leg for true bend and half halt to maintain the out side connection or return to counter bend as necessary. and make leg yield simple by using position and gradually bringing them from quarter line to the track a few steps or track to quarter line or honestly I ride babies off the track a few feet to keep them steering and listening to me. Always with my seat, never behind or in front, and always sent to the contact and meeting it. They're never held back onto it or held behind, they come onto the bit because they're in balance and that is where they're ridden to be. And sometimes you have to face issues head on and it's pretty ugly but after it's addressed it gets better and in general just experience and feel, timing teaches you to organize and recognize what's going on, how to approach it and have success. It's just a tricky balance. Then creating expression, execute accuracy, etc.

I don't know basically I really want to be back on a horse. I really miss riding and being out of the game is frustrating. After Dante sells then I'm hoping things works out and hopefully soon I'll be breaking a new horse.


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## Tihannah

Just backing up a few posts here because I'm sooo behind! Lol. But you really reiterated what I've been thinking as I read through FB group comments regarding the Dressage tests for Eventers. TOTAL armchair critics! I get so annoyed that I just have to stop reading. These are OLYMPIC riders doing a phenomenal job on amazing horses that are not trained to only that specific discipline. I can't even image how difficult it is. And then I read these people just picking apart little things like, they felt their legs were moving too much or their hands weren't still to their liking. REALLY?? Let's see you do it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Not a big update.

Saw Dante yesterday, he could care less about me lol. Today the sales video should be taken and we should finally get an ad up. I'm pricing him to sell, not to get what I want but to get him moved and into a good home. I'm ready to move forward and I'm sure he is too. Made his supplement bags and took them out too.

Talked with Mari about looking more at Frankie and there is another mare if that falls through I'd like to look at but I don't think is the quality of horse Frankie is but is quite nice. I think the other mare is one that initially will be flashier-more impressive moving but over time I think Frankie will be much much nicer. But honestly I think if Frankie ends up not being it, I may wait a little while and save a while longer and see what happens. A friend of mine was trying to convince me to look for another diamond in the rough but that is extremely hard and often times doesn't work out and can end up being much much more costly than spending more upfront and getting something purpose bred. I want to set myself up for success. Its not a guarantee but it betters the odds.

Honestly I'm SUPER excited about the olympics. Super excited. I havent gotten excited about anything in a long time but I was almost in tears watching Charlotte's ride because I know how extraordinary their partnership is and how miraculous fate can be where sometimes all the dots just line up and amazing opportunities and things can happen. It's inspiring.

And Tina- EXACTLY!! That's why I dont' get involved in discussion online for the most part. There is no win, just blind arrogance and lack of experience to back up the self absorbed thinking. There is so much more to riding and I don't think those people understand how much it takes. I've heard so many people talk a huge game and yet they never show themselves on a horse. Some riders are extremely skillful and effective but not pretty and that absolutely does not make them less of a rider, just because their eq isn't flawless. I'm with you it disgusts me to a point where I can't read it. And you can't comment because those types are so blindly arrogant they think because they've read a book and can sound eloquent they know way more than they actually do. Truly the more you experience and the more you know, the more broad your perspective and the more you understand, the less you think of yourself as somehow holier than though. Sorry ranted a bit but that type of attitude drives me up the wall. 

For example I ride hot, especially sensitive very well but I am not a "still" rider. I've gotten better but I used to look busy but the horses would go well and people would have no idea how difficult or hot the horse was would just look down their nose because I wasn't a "pretty" rider. I just looked kinda sloppy but some people know only enough that they think equitation is the end all be all of ability and have no concept of what it actually takes to ride well or develop a horse. They only think they do because they haven't ridden enough or done enough to know better.


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## Tihannah

Right!! I've even seen comments to where they simply CAN'T BELIEVE these people are competing at the Olympics and may not watch anymore! Because they somehow didn't fit into THEIR ideals of a good dressage rider! I could only HOPE to be half as good as some of these riders one day!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Exactly! I don't think people consider the situation or what it takes to ride horses like that. I'm truly impressed by the eventers riding because they have two other very difficult disciplines they have to be VERY good at to just make it around a course or go clean. It's so challenging. I don't get why people are so petty towards those riders who are IMO phenomenal riders and doing a great job. The other things is event horses are not dressage horses, it is hard to ride them well and get the same type of marks. They are conformed differently, they are different mentally. And not just that but I look at it like look at what those riders do well, if they have a horse that looks happy, pleasant, etc but there legs are busy so what? The horse is happy, put in a solid, accurate test and clearly the rider is a good rider. Getting accurate, precise tests on a horse isnt easy, especially on something fit and ready to go cross country and gallop boldly to obstacles the next day. I admire eventers for what they are, not for what they aren't. They arent going to ride a dressage test like a top dressage rider but they do a much better dressage test than the vast majority of pure dressage riders and do a dam* good job imo, especially when they also have to be great at 2 other disciplines.

Also I'm not sure people realize in sitting trot the leg naturally moves, I agree some riders were excessive but not to the point when you're thinking omg that's evil because their supple in their seats, back and have a happy horse. When I ride hot, I use a lot more leg than riding dull. I have a still leg on something dull and a more active one on something hot. If the horse is very-very sensitive-reactive I have a leg that's active. They have to learn to be ridden legs on and also because I find my leg is more active when redirecting that energy and that tension into something positive that can create a more relaxed illusion than how it feels, if that makes any sense. Charlotte Dujardin has a great quote about lazy horses need to be ridden legs off and hot horses need to be ridden legs on. I know I'm paraphrasing but that's the gist of it and to me it rings true. 

I think some of those people are being dramatic and petty. I think they have a smidge of information and think that makes up for a life time of riding horse after horse after horse and riding under top trainers and aboard top horses like these olympic riders. Because good trainers will definitely up your bar in terms of awareness and riding. They will up your perspective and broaden your view/abilities, etc. Not everyone has access to that or can afford it (just reality) but the unfortunate thing is no amount of reading makes up for that experience. I dont ride with a top trainer but the trainers I ride with train with top riders who also develop young horses (I think being able to develop a young horse successfully is a mark of skill/knowledge/expertise) because there are FEI riders who can ride something someone else trained but are horrible at developing young horses. And from what I've seen the ones who just ride made horses have a much shallower/superficial depth of knowledge than the ones who've also done babies and had a bottom up approach vs top down approach to training. I also know amateurs who have ridden FEI and they're not going to ride babies but ride their horses very well and I respect that.

But I really feel getting on and riding a bunch of different horses with a trainer really puts things into perspective. I can say when I was a working student, anytime I got a little full of myself (and not bad but became proud and felt like yeah I got it) I'd find a horse who reminded me of how much I had to learn and how much it took to ride. And riding every horse, even when I'm doing well and the horse feels great, my trainer will point something out to me and I'll be like wow that completely transformed my ride and made it that much better or I'll learn something counter intuitive that's very useful and be like wow, I would have never thought of that. You're just always learning something new or learning something that makes it better or little micro details. It's easy to get obsessive because there is just a huge amount of knowledge out there and a lot of the most important details are the smallest and not something you can discover through reading or training alone but in little feelings or figuring things out. It's such a tricky business. I think riding in general should keep you humble because you're never complete or done learning.


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## Tihannah

Cassie...just saw this video posted by a seller I often watch. Can you tell me what this is being used on the horse?


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## Rainaisabelle

I hope you don't mind me answering ? It looks like a lunge roller with side reins on it is that what you meant though?


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## Tazzie

Tina, I believe it's just a lunging surcingle with side reins. I disagree with free lunging in that set up, but that's my own personal opinion. Seems like a nice horse though.

Cassie, I say go with your gut on which horse. Truthfully, I think Frankie has your heart already. I'd do what I can to grab her. For all you know that other horse may have tough quirks to fix too. Frankie is a totally blank slate.

As for Dante, I'm SOOO glad he's enjoying his new job. He seems like a totally different horse. I really foresee him making someone SUPER happy. Make sure you post out a public facebook sale ad for him. I will absolutely share him out. I do think he'll be snatched up quickly, especially for the price you have in mind for him. He's a handsome boy with talent for his new discipline


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- I agree with Katie. I'm not a fan of free lunging in side reins either. Their horse, their right, horse seems happy and fine.

She does. I think she's going to have a really solid temperament and workable personality. I think she'll have a good work ethic as well. Physically she can sit like no tomorrow but her best quality I think will be her brain which is what I want. She's wonderful on the ground, good for the farrier, very very affectionate. Whenever I see her it's nose in face, kiss my nose. She doesnt get upset when corrected, I've never seen her make a nasty face or be nasty towards another horse. Not mareish. I can't even explain how excited I am to possibly start her this year *fingers crossed* I watched her play in the fields with her pasture mate the other day (who used to be Dante's pasture mate until Dante discovered he was a boy). But she looks like she's going to be fun. Her canter looks like it'll be back breaking for a while though :lol: Trot doesn't look like it'll be pleasant to sit down the road either but oh well. She's more of a power mover, not super flashy or expressive but has the right mechanics to be successful. And she's big, she's grown a ton in the last few weeks. She's at least 16.1h right now. 

He really is. He is SO SO much happier as a hunter-jumper/jumper than as a dressage horse. So much more rideable and happy. He needs a jumping home. The good news is he's definitely quality enough for the open circuit and Mari thinks he might eventually make a 3ft hunter, anything more than that will depend on Dante when he's there. He's definitely brave enough. And thank you Katie! I hope you're right. He seems to really love jumping and I think someone will be really happy with him! 

I found these pics of him too


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## Tihannah

I'd never seen anyone free lunge like that so I was wondering. Perhaps it was done for the sale video?

So happy to hear Dante is doing well and happy with jumping. A lady I met last year at my previous barn had a niche for matching horses with a job. She often took horses that didn't perform well in one discipline and were sold off cheap and retrained them to another discipline where they excelled and were happy. I think Dante will do well and you will find someone that loves him for his personality and natural talents!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I'm not entirely sure why they free lunged him that way, unless they were just trying to show how impressive a mover he is? I don't know. Personally I'll lunge in side reins but no free lunge. I didn't see that in Germany either.

And he really is. He loves jumping. He is a new horse. They were saying he's been so rideable and good about everything. They've been hacking him around the property, going up and down the bank and he's been perfect. They're going to use him in a kids lesson this week and see how he is with kids. On the ground he's great with kids and Karen (the trainer riding him) said he's been really super good and people like riding him, etc. So *fingers crossed* I really think he's found his thing. He seems SO happy. Watching him go over a course today, he was just so willing, so happy it really made me happy to see. We think he'll have scope enough for at least 3ft hunters. There is nothing about his jumping that would make me nervous to take him cross country. He's careful and good to ride to the fences, listens to the rider. He just loves it!










I'm hoping to start riding again this week *fingers crossed* and hopefully we can find Dante a new home and sort all the saddle stuff out. I'm hopeful atm. And hopefully I'll be able to look more at Frankie. I love her. I paid attention to both fillies/mares and they're both so sweet but Frankie I held her head for about a minute and she just started closing her eyes. Such a sweetheart. I'm curious how she'll mature, she's looking more like her mom now than she did. She's a lot more refined than mom but I'm seeing more of her mother in her which isn't a bad thing. Her mom was a nice mare, she's just changing and I'm curious how she's going to continue to change. She's pretty tall, I think she'll mature at least 16.2-3h which is the size I want. I hope she has her mom's try. Her mom had such an incredible work ethic, I hope Frankie has that. I never seem to get out of starting horses :lol: it's frustrating but at the same time I'm enthusiastic about starting a new horse for myself. It's actually pretty exciting.

Watched the clinic and filmed for my friend and Devon hopped on and rode her mare and WOW Devon is just phenomenal. I love watching her ride. She is amazing, she creates so much freedom and expression and is so effective and pleasant to watch. I had a blast watching everybody ride but I'm aching to ride :lol: hopefully this week.


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## Tihannah

Wow! Dante looks awesome!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. I thought so too! He's so happy. Absolutely loves jumping. He jumps pretty well and is getting better and better. Very ridable to the fences and inbetween, just seems happier than I've ever seen him. He's super willing and tries really hard. It makes me so happy to see. His ears perk forward to every fence like I sees it and I wants it! He listens to the rider and is just good about it. He hacks out and is good up and down the bank. I'm glad we found his thing.


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## PoptartShop

Dante is so handsome, he looks great. 
Thank you for sharing! Can definitely tell that's his thing!


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## Tazzie

I'm still so glad he's so happy!! I can't wait to hear all about how the lesson with the kid goes! And I still fully believe he'll be snapped up quickly!


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## frlsgirl

He looks like a natural; glad to see that he's found his calling. Fingers crossed for you that you get to ride again soon.


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## DanteDressageNerd

poptartshop- thank you. He's been doing really really well. I'm so proud of him. He's so happy as a hunter-jumper.
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Katie- thank you. He's really happy. I really hope we can find him a good home in the near future. And he did give a kids lesson today and he was really really good. He loves to jump and is so honest to the fences. He's just happy.
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Tanja- I think so. He's a new horse doing this. He's so happy and pleasant to watch. And I hope so too. I'd love to get on a horse again soon!
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Update: Not a huge update. But I found my song. "You Don't Own Me." It may sound I don't know silly but after being systematically broken down by people. I HATE being told what to do, I hate being controlled, manipulated, bullied, belittled, taken advantage of and played. Fierce independence isn't a bad thing, nor is an inner feistiness.

Dante gave a lesson to a 12-13yr old and was super good. I'm SO SO proud of him *yay* He needs to be loved. I'm pulling away more from him which makes me sad but it's necessary to get Dante in a new home and situation. I only hope I'm not emotional saying good-bye but usually with things like that and decisions. I'm pretty stoic in professional situations. I'm still a Marine at heart. I had to have good bearing. Sometimes it's not good because I'm almost emotionless when I'm the most passionate. The more powerful an emotion, the more statuesque I'll become. 

I had gone to see the play "Aida" which was spectacular!! I love broadway, I love plays. It was a real treat, I've been wanting to see it since 2003 so it was a dream come true! And it did not disappoint. Elton John and Tim Rice are just amazing.


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## frlsgirl

Lol about the song. My song is "Here I go again on my own" by Whitesnake  

Saying good byes is never fun; it's good to cry though; even if you can cry later, in private, it will be good to let that go to make room for a new beginning.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad he was so good with the kiddo  can tell he truly loves what he does now!

I understand how you're feeling  but you're making a good choice for him. Everyone is allowed a cry now and then when a decision like this is made. I know I'd be a wreck :/

And I'm so glad you got to see the play! Very exciting!


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## DanteDressageNerd

:lol: I guess so. "Don't tie me down, I'll never stay." and "I don't tell you what to say, I don't tell you what to do, so just let me be myself that's all I ask of you. Im young and I love to be young, I'm free and I love to be free, to live my life the way I want. To say and do whatever I please. You don't own me." That speaks to my soul, I'd love to be that free but important so you don't end up a doormat taking it from everyone in your life, being pressured into submission and acceptance. Being told what is okay to say or not say, being told how to look or dress or how to behave because me as me is never enough and not just okay. Being shaped and manipulated, sculpted to suit another's need. I love this song because it's a rejection of falling into the same patterns of wanting so badly to be accepted and then being controlled and having your life dictated by someone who doesn't have your best interest in mind, who isnt looking out for you but messing with you to get what they want. It's the I can't speak my mind or say what I want to and realizing hey you know what, I can.

And Tanja- I LOVE that song. That's a great song! Gotta love Whitesnake. 

I sure hope so. I'll cry on my own, I'm sure. Right now I think it hasnt really clicked but when he actually goes, it'll hit me like a ton of bricks in the face.
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Katie- I am too. It really gives me a positive feeling with finding him a good home. He's a totally different horse, he's so happy and if a kid makes a mistake or someone makes a mistake, he's just like hey it's okay I got it and I'll take care of you. I'm so proud of him. He'd have never done that riding dressage. He thinks he's on summer break year round now, I think :lol:

But thank you Katie, I think so too. I know this is what's best for him and me but honestly I'd be concerned if I didn't feel any emotion about it. I just want him to be happy and in a good home where he's looked after and enjoyed. But whatever is meant to be will be and come to pass. 

And thank you. I was too. It was truly brilliant! So beautiful!


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## PoptartShop

He sounds like such a great horse. You are making the right choice though, he will definitely be a great horse for someone with kids, or a lesson horse, etc...plus, he's capable of so much! He's a fantastic jumper. 
If you do sell him, make sure you can visit him because I'm sure he'd love to see you! After all, you are the one who got him this far! Awww. It isn't ever easy. I remember I had to sell my first horse, Lexi about 7-8 years ago, because it was best for her to make someone else happy, since she was better suited for barrels. I wanted to do jumping, and she just wasn't fit for it. I talk to her new owner from time to time, and it makes me happy seeing how good they are doing!  It's hard saying goodbye...but more of a 'see you later', if you are able to visit them. He will make someone super happy, and that will make YOU happy too! <3 It will hit you, but time heals all!

OMG I love that song too. Whenever I hear it, I'm like, YES! THIS IS ME! LOL!
Independent women unite! 
The play must have been so fun! Glad things are going well for you!


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## Tazzie

Those are good lyrics! You're a strong lady. They suit you 

I bet he does! But that's how work SHOULD be a lot of times. Where you just enjoy it! With only a few rough days thrown in. I'm glad he's so happy though!!

Yup. He will be in a good home. I know you'll make sure of that! And both of you can be happy again 

And fabulous!! I'm happy it was so good!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Poptartshop- thank you. he really is a special boy. He's super sweet and I love him to pieces but horses are WAY too expensive to try to keep as a pet and he LOVES his new job. He's been having kids/teens ride him and he's been super. He enjoys them and on the ground loves kids. He's very gentle and expressive. He wins people over. And he's SO SO happy as a hunter-jumper. He'll tell the kids if they do something wrong but if they let him do his job and stay out of the way, he'll take care of them. And they've said they really enjoyed riding him and would love to ride him again. They said he's fun and that makes me smile. I'm so glad he's found his thing. Dressage we'd say he was more of a professionals ride but jumping I think most people could ride him.

And absolutely. Sometimes when you love them, you have to part ways so they can do what they love and you can do what you love. It's tough when you love them but I think love takes many forms right? sorry about your mare but it sounds like you made a good decisions for yourself and her.

It's a great song. And yes. I think a lot of women in the horse world are pretty independent and willful, that's how we all find each other :lol: but thank you. I really enjoyed the play and I'm glad things are on the up vs the opposite.
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Katie- They really are. I love them. I'll admit I've lost friends, people have drawn away from me because of that personality of I don't owe you, you don't owe me. But thank you. I am what I am. Even though I had someone today look at me and say you were a Marine? And I was like yeah and they were like well you don't look like a Marine...in my head I thought I don't know what that means. What are Marines supposed to look like? 

Absolutely! That's how I look at it too. Work should be a joy most days and if everyday is a chore something is wrong. But I'm happy he's happy too!

Oh for sure. He's my kid. A good home is non-negotiable. It's a must. He's a spoiled boy. I want him to keep being spoiled and loved.
_________________

I actually got to ride a horse yesterday which was *yay* for me :lol: I'm hoping to be back on the babies and getting them broke soon. I lunged quite a few horses today and spent time with them. Lunging is an art, especially when working with horses who don't know where to put their body, bend properly or how to leg yield on the lunge line. Was quite fun. They need to be through and work over their back, especially when you have these huge moving horses who need to be organized and in balance or they dont stay sound. Really have to keep them from overpowering/overwhelming themselves. I admit anymore I see the super fancy, animated, expressive movers and I'm like nope. I know what vet bills come with that. Id rather have a mechanically solid mover that doesn't have super expressive, wow gaits but you can make expressive over time. 

Kinda interesting and something I don't get is why people think dressage people hold their horses against the bit to create that "high head carriage." Someone today who was riding Dante rode him with too tight a rein (not from meanness, just inexperience) I thinks he heard he was a dressage horse and thought that's how you ride them. But no. No see sawing, no pulling or bracing against the mouth, if you want the higher head carriage, it comes from core, seat, half halts and leg and gradual conditioning to elevate the head and neck and lower the croup. They're always being sent out and lifted, not held back or pulled into it. You ride their back, organize their balance to bring them onto the "bit" not pull. It's not braced resistance, it's more like holding hands and communicating. 

But when people don't know or they havent seen or associated with good trainers/training. Maybe that's why people think dressage is so constricting?

When/after Dante sells then the games begin with searching for a new horse *fingers crossed*


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## PoptartShop

Exactly!! They love when they have a job that they enjoy.  Makes them super happy. I'm so glad and happy for you and him! He certainly is a joy! Right, in the end the decisions we make really do benefit both us and the horses. That's all that matters. <3 

Yay! Glad you got back in the saddle yesterday. Lunging is definitely an art. I enjoy lunging too. Feels good to with with them and let them know hey, it's okay to use your body! LOL.

I honestly don't know much about dressage, but it is really interesting. I do know that there are quite a few people who don't even use their seat & strictly use the bit/reins...like no! That's not how you ride! Using your seat is what's really important. Grrr!


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## Tazzie

I hate when people think you don't look the way you should be to do something. Just shows their ignorance is all!

Well yeah! I'm sure the right home will find it's way for Dante!

Hooray for riding! That's exciting! And for lunging! Big day!

And that could be. You see a lot of the yank and crank around here where the focus is all on the head, not on the back. Just people who need to learn how to actually ride a horse.

I sure hope the right one is there and ready! Still hoping it'll be Frankie!!


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## frlsgirl

I bet it feels good to be back in the saddle again!


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## Tihannah

DanteDressageNerd said:


> _________________
> 
> Kinda interesting and something I don't get is why people think dressage people hold their horses against the bit to create that "high head carriage." Someone today who was riding Dante rode him with too tight a rein (not from meanness, just inexperience) I thinks he heard he was a dressage horse and thought that's how you ride them. But no. No see sawing, no pulling or bracing against the mouth, if you want the higher head carriage, it comes from core, seat, half halts and leg and gradual conditioning to elevate the head and neck and lower the croup. They're always being sent out and lifted, not held back or pulled into it. You ride their back, organize their balance to bring them onto the "bit" not pull. It's not braced resistance, it's more like holding hands and communicating.
> 
> But when people don't know or they havent seen or associated with good trainers/training. Maybe that's why people think dressage is so constricting?


It's funny that you mention this because I was just thinking about this the past couple days working with Tess. You already know how hard she is to pull together and get working correctly with her conformation. Sometimes I can get it at the walk, but at trot or canter, it is SOOO hard to get her to really lift up and sit back. I've seen my trainer do it with her and she looks like a different horse. I know she doesn't have the strength to hold it very long, but how do you do it?? Lol. When I try to push her forward into my hands from behind, she just kinda uses her neck to push against me and stay hollowed out or drops more forward onto the forehand or tries to quicken her pace. My trainer says this is the reason I struggle with the downward transitions. She shifts her weight too far forward so that when I ask her to transition down, she had to throw her head up to balance herself. So how do you teach them to carry themselves and shift the weight from front to back if they're resistant to it?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Sorry haven't been on much. Been doing stuff to be astronomically vague :lol:

poptartshop- precisely! I think a lot of horses are happier with a job than being a pasture pet. Depends on the horse but some just need a job. He really is a good guy and I'm so incredibly proud of him. I've seen a bunch of different young riders riding him and taking him through courses and so far they've all been very surprised by how much scope he has and how athletic he is. They were like woah but they were like but he saved my butt and the trainer was like yes he did. He's so good. 

Definitely. Lunging well is an art in communication and I feel it really helps them learn to have a good, consistent rhythm and develop their own balance and all to work while having a break from a rider, so they can just focus on themselves and watching and listening to us. 

And absolutely. I think that's pretty universal throughout disciplines, perhaps more in some over others but there are good/bad ways to do thing and sometimes ways that arent wrong, just different. I just prefer to work a horse over their back and reach for the bit from being in rhythm, balanced and there from there body, not being held into a false frame. A responsive, happy, sound, and sensitive horse with two partners listening and communicating.
____________________

It annoys me too. I think it's because they think I'm too "fine boned" and I'm "pretty" with the blond hair and green eyes and not masculine. Plus I'm pretty soft spoken for the most part and super polite.

I think so. Someone tried him today and it was like they fit each other SO SO well. I wont say a ton because I really hope it works out for both of them.

Oh exactly! There is a lot of that yank and crank around here too. I can't stand it. I want a horse actually in the bridle, working into my hand and in balance/rhythm not just whipped around and mechanically manipulated. I want to train my horse thoroughly to have a responsive, confident partner who listens willingly and through trust and partnership, not blind obedience with a broken spirit. 

Me too! I really hope it's Frankie too. I just love her and she loves me and I think it'd be a good fit but I'm trying not to get ahead of myself or anticipate too much. I just hope I can get her started soon. She's a solid 3yr old, if she was still gangily I'd wait to break her but she's pretty solid. I hope it works out *crosses fingers*
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Tanja- it really-really did! I should be getting on the babies Tuesday! I was supposed to ride them today but showed Dante to someone and went over time to ride them. I think we may just focus on Dev and Friday for a while, then see about Qira too. And I'm hoping to get Frankie going *prays*
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Tina- When it comes to getting more uphill engagement, I use mostly core half halts and leg. I also use my outside rein to organize the energy and balance. I'm not sure how to describe it but it's a feeling, like the energy is in your belly and you're sending it up. Or you can practice transitions but instead of going through a full transition, think of having Tess give you the response like she's going to come down in the transition and then send her forward and that is your core half halt. For true "collection" with Dante or a schooled horse, I'll tap behind, bring them up with my seat and leg and half halt the outside rein but it's the timing and organization and feel that makes it happen without tension or resistance. I also used laterals to help with the suppleness, sometimes counter flexion to help. It's hard to explain. I apologize. I think I'm out of practice. I know how it feels but it's hard to communicate.
_____________________

Not a big update. Mostly just getting back into the swing of things. I've been re-conditioning my body and getting back into shape. My body is very sore :lol: I gained about 5lbs and really want to lose it. I'm weird about my weight. I used to be heavier and I just dont' feel comfortable in my body with this excess weight which I know is small but it feels like a lot. I feel it and it bothers me.

I also made blueberry lemon gluten-free pancakes with homemade lemon syrup which was OMG amazing. Not to toot my own horn but I was SO impressed with them. I tried a recipe I've had for 3yrs and never made and they were wow! I let some people try them and they were like OMG Cassie this is to die for, why dont you cook more? And I said because I'll eat it and if I eats it, I get fat :lol: I make homemade chocolate silk pie, my cheesecake I rarely find better, my cookies, cakes, flourless chocolate cake, etc are usually on point. I just can't make that stuff or I eat it. I used to make baklava around Christmas but it's SO expensive to make. I don't know what all I used to make, I don't cook that much anymore :lol: but I use a lot of coconut oil, coconut sugar and gluten free flour because I have a sensitive stomach and tend to feel really sick if I eat processed foods. I'll still eat a hamburger with cheese, onion string and all that great stuff. I just don't eat much bun or I feel ill.

Dante is doing really well. A lot of different people have been riding him and he's been super. He's looked after absolutely everyone. It also was helpful to me because I realized I'm actually a pretty decent jumper :lol: again not bragging it was just eye opening watching teens ride because I realized wow I actually can ride the fences pretty well because I was getting my distance almost every time with Dante and I went with him and didn't pop on his back or mouth even when he'd put in a big jump. I'm proud of that :lol: I thought Mari was just being nice when she said you're doing a good job, I just thought oh I'm so out of practice and Dante is really taking care of me (which he did) but that's just Dante. He's a special horse.

I havent been sleeping a whole lot. That's been really hard for me. My body just is so not interested, so a few days of 4hrs of sleep and feeling wired. Done a lot of dance stuff and


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## PoptartShop

Mmmm blueberry lemon pancakes?! That would be so yummy right now (as I sit at work and eat a granola bar & yogurt) LOL.
Yummy! Hey, you can brag all you want! You do great with him. I'm so happy he's doing so well, and he's such a charmer. I hope you get to catchup on your sleep soon!


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## frlsgirl

...and we are back to parallel lives; I've also gained a little weight and also feel weird carrying it around; most people haven't noticed or said anything; but I did invest in a pair of dress slacks with tummy control so yeah, it's a sign, time to get back into shape. At 5'4 and 140 pounds I feel like a giant whale; so I reached out to my FB community and we are doing an exercise challenge. Basically we pester each other via messenger every day until we have completed our work out for the day. Should be fun.


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## Tazzie

I truly hope it works out for Dante! They sound like the perfect match! Fingers crossed 

And then I hope Frankie works out :lol: hopefully you have good things coming your way finally!!

The pancakes sound nice lol Glad you're able to recondition yourself! You're cooking sounds great too :lol:

I'm glad Dante is taking care of riders now! Always a good thing! And good for him to get experience with so many other riders!

Yuck to the lack of sleep though!! I couldn't do it!


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## DanteDressageNerd

poptartshop- they were really good. I kept getting comments of these are delicious and this is to die for, which makes me happy because it means I can keep the recipe. You have hits and misses when you cook or bake. The misses, I toss the recipe and the hits I keep and if they're okay but could be modified I keep those too and improve them. :lol: and yeah lemon blueberry pancakes with homemade syrup would make my mouth water too (especially with yogurt and granola). 

But thank you. He's been such a sweet boy. He's still giving lessons to teens and kids atm. I'm so incredibly proud of him!! It really makes me happy to know he's doing so well and kids are learning on him and enjoying him 
____________________________

Tanja- I know we seem to be on the same/similar/near by track that keep intercepting. It's odd but hey better not to be alone right? But that group sounds really good for motivation and such. I also understand, it's been going to my belly too and I'm like ahhh. I'm 5'7 145lbs atm. Usually I'm between 137 and 140lbs. It's coming back, as I start riding more I think it'll come off pretty easily. Just gotta keep in work.
______________________________

Katie- likewise that is what I'm doing. I REALLY want this to work out for both of them. I think she'll be good for Dante and Dante will be good for her. He's an awesome jumper, he is just happy and teens and kids are riding him and having fun with him, so I'm glad.

Me too!! I love her so much. She's my buddy, she gave me a back and head massage yesterday and nose kisses today. She's very sweet and I can't wait to ride her. I just don't know if I'll even have time for her this semester or the babies :-( it really looks like it's going to be a rough semester. 

Thank you. Again I don't mean to brag but I am proud of my cooking and baking abilities, I just have to refrain from doing it because I eat it and gain weight. Sometimes I splurge but I still have to be careful. But thanks I'm excited to get back into shape too!!

Absolutely!! I think it's really good for young horses, once their going to have different riders on their back and get accustomed to different situations and people. It makes them a lot more rideable and agreeable, I think. And I think it's just good for them. 

Yeah. I'm not happy about that but it HAS gotten better. I am sleeping more or trying to at least, we'll see once this semester is in full swing and picks up. I may have to be sleep deprived, except for weekends.
______________________________

I'm just letting everyone know I will not be on a whole lot. I have a TON on my plate and honestly not very much time outside of riding that I'll have free. So I'm sorry I can't really respond to a bunch of threads but I've been reading to keep up but I don't have a ton of time. Tonight I have a ton more HW to do and unfortunately have been working on things in my life that are VERY important and I can't put aside. This semester is going to be ROUGH. All the classes are quite demanding which is why I only took 4 because computer science, business, law, and math courses are not easy. Computer science is going to be BRUTAL. I'm filled with dread. It is REALLY hard for me. Law and I get along but computer logic and computer science is just painful. With the aspergers I do have some learning disabilities, so I ALWAYS take longer to learn new concepts and new logic patterns but I'm also downloading 10-100 times more information or data into my brain than most people. I'm a whole concept learner, literal thinker. I'm also the oldest or one of the oldest people in most of my classes, so I feel ancient. It's a really odd feeling. 

I rode Deveroux and Friday yesterday, both were PERFECT. They had not been ridden since I last rode them (6 weeks ago before my hand happened) but we were able to start on the lunge line, then be taken off and walk, trot around the arena, trot a figure of 8 and circle and they were very good. We do ride our babies on the bit and expect them to use their necks, be in balance, and carry themselves correctly so there was some no you don't get to suck back behind the bit, you have to reach for it. But it felt like they remembered everything, so definitely not starting over. I think they'll be back to where they were pretty quickly. Then I lunged Qira today and she was good, she is so funny about her mouth, she definitely is lunged in side reins to help and she needs a lot of help working out contact, those issues will have to be addressed in the saddle. You can do some from the ground but more like getting her to back off the bit instead of leaning so much weight into it and yet avoiding it at the same time if that makes sense? so what I'd do is get her head up and send her forward anytime she did that. It'll be easier to address undersaddle. She is the least broke and so she's a baby. She'll work it out though, I think it'll help a lot more once she's going and understand contact vs it's like she's trying really-super hard and just doesn't understand so she over compensates? She wants to please REALLY REALLY badly and is very-very sensitive but in a good way because she wants to please so badly but then you have to be careful because she'll work herself up with do you want this? Do you want that? Oh my gosh I can't work this out, so you have to keep her relaxed, calm and make things as simple as possible and VERY encouraging. No pressure.


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## Tazzie

Hopefully the semester goes well, and the other life things go ok! I think I know what it is, so yeah. Really hoping it's resolved!

Sounds like the babies are doing great! And Qira sounds SOO much like Izzie. The "did you want this? this? am I correct here??" They can definitely be hard to settle down and relax!


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## frlsgirl

Ana can get herself worked up as well especially if she doesn't get praise when she thinks she deserves it; so I'm careful to let her know how awesome she is but at the same time not overdo it because she likes to take over and run the show. And you do NOT want to be on her bad side; "You want canter?!? I'll show you canter!"


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright still super busy but haven't been on in a while so I thought I'd give a quick update and when I say busy. I mean I havent been riding much and my nose is mostly in a book or working on something. 

I rode Dante on Saturday and he was FRESH, my God we jumped little stuff and he was like a rocket launch but he has an impressive amount of scope. I can say that for him. And he has a nice smooth jump which helps a lot too. Sunday was a really good day though, Dante's hopefully new person *crossed fingers* is really nice and such a great fit for him provided the PPE goes well which it should. He's ridden 5-6 days a week atm. He LOVES to jump. I can't even tell you how much he loves to jump. I have pictures of him jumping a 2ft thing with his belly at least 2ft over it. He has a BIG jump.

The babies last ride, I rode them on my own with another person in the arena and they were really-really good. Green and didn't steer as well as before but still went really well! I last rode them on Friday. 

I've been so busy with my course work. I may be changing math classes, I flat out cannot learn from the Professor I have. I just can't and I flat out don't have 6hrs a day to try to figure out what he's talking about. He doesn't teach from the book and he said the only source I can use is him and I'm SO frustrated. I'm either switching into another class or I may have to drop because I already know even if I dedicate all my time to this class I will fail and I'm good at math, I aced my last class but I don't give a flying hoot about the "theory of math." If I wanted to take a math philosophy course, I would have. He told me not to look for answers or ways to figure it out online because it wasn't how he teaches, so I'm banging my head into my desk. It's like they blended mathematics with the writing of philosophers who basically just scribble out giberish. I respect my Professor, I think he makes a genuine effort to teach and I think he's a kind man but his system just doesn't and will not work for me. And it's frustrating for me because usually I can work out mathematics pretty quickly if shown the process but the gobbily **** is just [email protected] to me. I'm NOT a mathematician, I'm not a math major and I have no intention to be. I like actually working problems, not just the "theory" of math and not seeing how it applies or seeing how it connects just being told well you should intuitively know and me being like but I don't know. I can't know what I don't know :lol:

Good news. I am doing a LOT better in computer science this semester. I think the Professor is making a big difference! He makes SO SO SO much more sense to me and the book and supportive material makes it so much more obtainable. I still have to work at it but it doesn't feel like a dead end of frustration and no answers or help. And I enjoy my law class, it's time consuming/demanding but it is really fun. Same with computer science, I'm enjoying it atm. 

Just been consumed by course work because I'm an "A" student and I am not okay with less, except last semester in computer science but I'm someone who either gets it or I don't. 
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Katie- I hope so too because atm I haven't had time for babies and Pam asked me to work and I was like I can't. I have SO much on my plate atm I just can't. When I work the babies I MAKE time to work the babies, I don't really have that time but I make time. Same as I'm making time to be on here atm.

And yeah I think Qira and Izzie are really similar personality wise! Qira is very smart, very sensitive but tries really hard, however she is opinionated, stubborn, and gets her feelings hurt easily. But she's a good girl and tries really hard!
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Tanja- :lol: mares. They have a mind of their own and Ana's very smart and makes sure you know she needs to know if she's doing well or not. I can't say that I blame her I like feedback to. Like did I do it right or am I wrong? Is this it? Did you want me to do that? It's a good thing, though frustrating sometimes!

_________________________

Dante


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## frlsgirl

Ugh - math is difficult enough; no need to complicate it with a quirky teacher. Glad to hear that computer science is looking up; and I know what you mean about placing high expectations on yourself; I think I told you about my reoccurring dream that I signed up for chem and forgot about it and now had a week to complete the entire semester or I won't graduate. 

In real life, I ended up with a 3.8 for my undergrad because I had a couple of classes that ruined my 4.0: Chemistry and Religion. I still don't know how I screwed up so bad in Religion. Then I ended up with a 4.0 for my Masters so all is good now. I can't say that the 3.8 has ever held me back in life; most employers just care that you have a degree, what your degree is in, and what school your degree came from. Well, technically, employers are not supposed to discriminate based on the college you graduated from; but in certain parts of the country, people are very clicky, so if they have to pick between someone who's school they never heard of and someone who graduated from a local university, they are going to stick with their own. 

The point I'm trying to make is, that what seems really important to you now, may not matter years from now. You might get a B in a class, and you will live, and you will still get a good job. Keep up the good work!

PS: Fingers crossed that the PPE goes well!


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## Tazzie

Yikes, I would drop that math class in a heartbeat. Not worth that struggle. Hopefully there is a different one you can take your course with! Yay about computer science being better! I'm happy for you!

As for Dante, he looks so happy! I really hope it all works out for him! When is the PPE?? SO excited for him! He's going to love his new adventure!!


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## PoptartShop

I hope you can change math Prof's ASAP! It really is all about the professor. I'm actually NOT good at math, but I had a really good prof & it made it so much better. I was a legal studies major & I was like, I have to take math?!!! It's just the way it's taught that can make a difference, you're right. I hope you can switch because he doesn't sound like he's a good fit! That's good you're doing well in your other class though, yup, all about the professor. Makes things so much better. And...makes you not dread going to class as much. LOL.
Dante is just so cute!! Sucha happy boy, love how his tongue is out in the 2nd pic! <3


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## DanteDressageNerd

Not a big update. Mostly been doing school stuff and lunging the babies. The trainer and I just haven't had our times/days available match up this week. But I did ride Dante today, bareback (no bareback pad) and he was really good. Kept thing pretty simple. I just did light dressage work with him and he was great. He passed his PPE with flying colors but I don't know when he'll be moving. I'm just so glad because this home will be really good for him, provided everything still works out and everything goes well but it's a really good situation for him. Dante loves to show off :lol:

I dropped that math class. I sat through another class with him on materials I know quite well and after the class I was confused and questioning everything I did, so I was like nope. There is no way this is going to work. Plus the test materials is 50% book and actual problems and 50% contradictory gobbily **** that is inconsistent and doesn't really make sense, so no way was I going to stay in a class I know I'd fail. Aspergers makes for a VERY rigid view point.

I LOVE color. It's genuinely a problem. Colors make me happy and I organize using color. I try to follow the light spectrum because I find it soothing and prefer cooler tones.
______________________

Tanja- My thoughts exactly. If they say no online material, tutoring or seeing another Professor than you know it's just not going to work. Math is not intuitive! For some it is but I have to learn it. I'm one where if you just walk me through the problem, then explain the logic and make it concrete and let me practice the problem I'll have it almost instantly but goof around with inconsistent theories and proofs and show me on a board saying true/false without explaining the logic and expecting me to just get it, is just not going to work. 

But that dreams sounds truly terrifying and stressful! That's a nightmare! I'll say I'm not quite as strict, I'm alright without having a 4.0 but I would be VERY upset if it was below a 3.5 but I entirely agree about employers don't care that much as long as you graduated and are competent. And they definitely discriminate between is it familiar school or not. To me a lot of it seems to be about connections and whether or not you have the right persona for the company or they look at you as someone they want to work with. Can't be too outstanding, too impressive or too intense. Gotta be modest enough but still confident and humor I find helps depending. They need to know you're not too straight laced.
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Katie- I did! It definitely wasn't worth it when math I was familiar with and had down pat, I got out of the class completely confused and had to unscramble my brain and get myself back on point. Just isnt worth it. But thank you I'm glad it's going better this time too. I think it's because it's actually being broken down and the logic is fitting together and I have more material I can look at, rather than being thrown into it and being like well why don't you understand what was never explained in the first place. It's like this time there is a systematic way to learn the material, so I have a chance. Instead of fighting and being confused, lost and going what the heck.

______________________

poptartshop- Definitely. A good or bad professor makes a HUGE difference in the math/sciences. My other 3 classes are going well so far. Just keeping on top of it all!

I just don't get with math, why can't we just learn the problems and work through the problems. Why do we have to discuss it but never put pieces together or work the problems? I don't get why some math classes are like that. But math imo is universally such a good thing to know. It really trains your brain to organize information and put pieces together quickly. It's helps a lot with isolating what's essential and what isn't but I also enjoy math. I like how it helps me experience life as weird as that may sound. 

I also have a relatively poor short term memory, so I'd make a terrible legal studies major :lol: everyone has their strengths, weaknesses and niche where they belong and can excel. All of it requires work to grow but I like the active learning process.

And yes Dante is very expressive! He's always making faces!


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## DanteDressageNerd

okay update

At the HJ barn everyone loves Dante, I guess he's been a super star and people want to ride him. Every person that has ridden him has been shocked by how athletic and scopey he is. His jump is really easy to stay with, so he may make an equitation over fences horse with training. I think he'd do well as a hunter or eq horse. His trot has become a lot smoother because he's not as engaged. His trot isn't bad to sit when he's not engaged behind but get his hind end engaged and he's back to popping you out of the saddle :lol: I rode him bareback on Monday (no bareback pad) and just did basic dressage stuff like correct, consistent rhythm, bending through his whole body in turns, stepping under with the inside hind into the outside rein and really getting him over his back. He was really, really good. I'm SO SO proud of how much he's grown up. 

At this point, I really think you can do everything or most things technically right and be fair to a horse and they may just not enjoy what you want them to. Like children, you can raise a kid trying to make it be some kind of baseball or football star and they might go with it for a while but then say hey this isn't my thing and you have to listen.

I'm looking at Frankie with my other trainer hopefully on Monday *crosses fingers* I'm REALLY excited!! I really hope it works out, I love power movers. They're really bouncy but the surge from behind when you get them truly through and engaged, nothing like it in the world. I like a powerful, hotter type ride, that's my favorite. Frankie isn't hot at all, I don't think she'll ride hot but who knows. Nothing rattles her, I've never seen her anxious or nervous about essentially anything. She's been cleaned up and is really cute. She's so sweet. If this doesn't work out for whatever reason. I'm probably going to be horseless for a while until the right horse comes along. 

I've been riding Qira, Friday, and Dev. They've been fabulous this week and last week. Friday and Dev are broke and riding in the arena walk, trot, canter with other horses in the arena  I'm so proud. Walk, trot, canter on the bit 15 and 20m circles, serpentines, shallow loops, leg yield, transitions, etc. They're still VERY green but they're coming along. They're understanding contact SO much better, I'm really proud. It's taken a lot of work but they're using their backs and necks so much better, very normal for green/baby horses to not understand contact or throughness. It's weird when they just get it right off the bat. But Friday holy Batman, he sat an incredible amount yesterday. I really think he could do the GP someday. His ability to sit is unbelievable. He already has the hind end muscling more like an upper level horse. I see a HUGE difference in the muscling between a lower level horse and an upper level horse. He's a little guy (15.2h) but he's a cool dude. I love him, he LOVES kisses and will kiss you back. I actually got my face licked yesterday which was odd. I haven't had that happen but I was kissing his nose and licked my face :lol: he's so sweet and ridiculously smart. I've known him since before he was conceived :lol: I've ridden his sire who was an alternate for the 2000 olympics. His sire was cool. People have tried to suggest I buy Friday but he's too small and I want a mare, plus his leg. But he is a perfect horse. Great work ethic, natural talent, smart as they come and SUPER ridable and so smooth despite how fancy he is. Dev (16.2h and Frankie's half brother) is really good to ride too, I just prefer Friday. 

Phasing from lower to mid and upper level believe it or not you actually see the muscling around the wither become less pronounced while the hind end, belly, and lower back develop and the area at the base of the wither. It's hard to explain but I love seeing the transformation in the horse's muscling. To me that's a tall tale sign of how correctly they're being ridden and developed. 

Classes are going well so far. Computer Science is my favorite. I definitely have to work at it and actively study to progress but it's like with math if I'm taught it in a systematic and progressive fashion I'll pick it up really fast but if I'm not taught that way I can't learn. It's just really fun because it's all theory and application and I have a [email protected] short term memory, so it's awesome I dont' have to memorize gobs of information. It just puts together like a puzzle and since the computer think like I do, we understand each other. I don't know what I'm not told and the computer asks all similar questions I would because I'm so literal and so specific, so that's exciting.


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## PoptartShop

That is true about math, I hated it honestly (I was better at English/Sciences, etc.) but it does make your brain think! 

Awwww that's because Dante IS a superstar! That's so awesome, you must be so proud of him. <3 Go Dante!!

Ooooh, that's exciting. Sure you can't wait for Monday to get here so you can check her out. It's good you're going with your trainer too. And exactly, it may take a bit but the right one will come along. 
I love their names. Dev, Friday, & Qira. LOL, so adorable. Sounds like they're great rides too. Get it girlfraaaand!! You rock!

Computer Science sounds like a good class. I'm also interested in stuff like that. Sounds like you'll ace it!  I remember if I liked a class I did so much better in it LOL, some prof's are awesome and some are just...bleh.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you PoptarShop 

Not a big update. I have a test later today that is going to kill me. I have a poor short term memory (common with aspergers) but an excellent long term memory where I remember exact details as is but grrr :lol: law is hard for me. I understand the application but all the vocab is tough :lol:

I like technical stuff lol. 

The babies are doing REALLY well. Friday was a rockstar last time I rode him, Dev saw the chiropractor and that should help him a lot and Qira I lunged and she's phenomenal. Her trot is to die for, she's so fancy. Once she gets stronger and learns to half halt and sit she's going to be amazing. She's very sensitive, I'd consider her hot because she has such a desire to please than gets nervous and worried and worked up. She hasn't been tense but she's not broke yet either. Hard to say what she'll mature into but I think she's going to be a really good horse and something I'd enjoy riding because she's going to be so sensitive like breathe wrong and she'll take that as meaning something.

I also rode Dante bareback and he was really good. Walk, trot, canter. Also did dressage work and brought him back to a cadence and did some collected type work (not a lot, he's not strong enough) but he knew exactly what I was asking for with a cadenced collected trot. Also did leg yield from centerline to wall and back to centerline, shoulder in and just basically emphasized correct use of his back and body, stepping correctly in balanced through turns. Had to remind him about lengthenings (he kept thinking canter) and I half halted and set him up so he'd keep cadence and lengthen then he was like oh yeah this is fun! Canter was interesting, I think I compressed him a hair too much in canter but it was really hard to get him to sit, he's not conditioned that way anymore but he was really good. He's grown up SO much, I'm really proud of him and excited for him to start his next journey.

He is sold and will be moving hopefully around the end of the month. We get along really well and I'm so excited for her to get him and take him home and start back into her riding career. It's a really good fit, she's very loving and is a horse person. And a soft rider who is definitely skilled. Plus he wont be too far away, so I'll get to visit sometimes and she'll train with one of my trainers who also does hunters. Not sure when I'll be looking at Frankie but *fingers crossed* I really like her. She's so sweet and kind. Such a love and she's getting huge! She's turned out with Qira who sticks a solid 16h maybe 16 1/2h now and next to Qira, Frankie is a good inch and half, 2inches taller. I'm not really infatuated with tall horses, I was just shocked she'd grown that much. But I'm SUPER excited at possibly buying her. I love her. She's such a sweetheart and has a really good temperament/personality with a good try hard work ethic. Definitely not lazy.


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## Tazzie

Good luck on your test! I'm sure you'll do great!! I'm also glad the babies are doing so well, and that you had a good ride on Dante!

Also SO glad the lady bought him!! They definitely looked like a good match! And fingers crossed it works out with Frankie!


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## egrogan

Wow, it's not often that one of "our" Forum horses get sold-I will miss reading about him but am happy for you that you feel good about his next owner. Congrats on getting him sold! 

Good luck with your tests. I use a lot of advanced statistical analysis in my work, but hated the stats classes when the professors refused, almost out of spite, to give any indication that statistical methods could actually have applied purposes. I actually really learned how to construct and use advanced models when learning statistical programming-you can't write a program very well if you don't understand what a model is supposed to do! I always knew I wanted an applied research vs. academic career, and am happy with that choice. But I get so sad when people tell me they hate statistics or math; almost universally they talk about how a bad teacher turned them off to it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thanks! I needed the luck on that test. There was SO much grey area it was hel! for me!! Good thing I'd studied it so thoroughly but gah see this is why I'm a computer science major :lol: I felt very "autistic" during and after the test like I'm going to freeze because this doesn't make sense, you can argue either or for almost every question. I'm really not good with vague and grey and having to do true/false answers :lol: it's like a personal hel! my brain felt SO fried afterwards because I had to argue every problem with myself to come up with anything definitive. I'm SUPER literal and the way I interpret information makes things very difficult sometimes, just tough :lol: but it's making me better. Gotta do mental back flips sometimes. Plus my crummy short-term memory and memorization is just tough for me. 

Computer Science has been great also. I'm definitely getting better and getting a broader scope and figuring out how to make things work but wow is it tough! I LOVE it but it's definitely challenging but I love how concrete it is and there is little negotiation, it's either right or it doesn't compile or it doesn't work how you want it to. It's constant problem solving and puzzle building, it's addicting!! I need a break because my brain is shutting off and experiencing system over load but it's making me better. 

New plan is looking at Frankie on Friday *fingers crossed* I really want to get her started and going. I'm fearful I wont have enough time but riding the babies and not riding Dante much made me realize I definitely want my own, so I can eventually compete at the higher levels. Training and developing a horse takes a long time and I'd like to start now so I have something I can take to shows and clinics with and spoil.

My goal is to have Frankie broke before November, she doesn't have to walk, trot, canter but I can get on her on my own and she knows how to go forward and stop without anyone on the ground. I'd like to be able to ride her on my own and get her going.
_______________________________

Katie- Thank you. I'm really glad the babies are doing well too! I'm proud of them! They're good babies!

I'm really glad she's getting him too! It'll be a really good fit. And thank you! Frankie appointment has been changed to Friday morning, so *fingers crossed* my goal is to get her broke enough before Pam leave that I can at least mount her without a trainer and she knows how to move forward without a ground person. I hope we can do that throughout October.
______________________

Egrogan- thank you. I think he's going to be really happy in this situation. He LOVES to jump and in this home there are so many things he's going to get to do that he couldn't with me. She has trails and 33 acres, so he'll be able to trail ride regularly and jump and do flat work, so lots of variety which he needs and he'll get to show and she has a son, so Dante will have a kid to play with him. Dante LOVES children and 3 other horses for him to be around. Though he's going to be a giant, they're all arabians under 15.1h. 

Ick stuff like that turns off a lot of people to mathematics, having a bad teacher or Professor is a big one. Quite honestly I think the majority of math teachers and Professors do not know how to teach math. They might be brilliant in their own right but have no concept of how to teach. I know for myself I HAVE to be able to work the problems and see how the dots fit together and physically work the problems, you can talk about it all day long but it doesn't mean anything to me until I can work them. I just hate how so many seem to think you can use words and theory in place of doing the work and seeing how the math applies and works out in reality. I know how generalized a statement that is but how can anyone say a theory works if when implemented it falls apart? Theory often falls apart in application but people try to force it to work like they're trying to force a triangle through a slot made for circles.

And I totally agree. You cannot make a working program if you dont have an idea of what you want it to do. A lot of problem solving and figuring out what you want the program to do and how to make it work within the programming language and figuring out how to make it run and going over and over the program to make sure it works as you want it to, not mostly with several exceptions that shut the program down if used. But that's the good thing about computer science, it works or it doesn't and you can't make it work just because you want it to work. No fitting triangles into circle slots. It wont work. But glad in your actual work you enjoy statistics, despite your Professors attempts to turn you off to it!

Sorry kinda went off the deep end. Just passionate about the geek stuff.


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## Tazzie

Fingers crossed that seeing Frankie goes well!! I'm really excited for you!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie - thank you. I'm honestly really excited, I'm trying not to get too excited but I'm really excited. I spent quite a bit of time with her yesterday and she was pretty possessive :lol: she's really growing up, she has a lot more growing up to do but she seems to be maturing quite a lot mentally. *crossed fingers* I hope it all goes well.

____________

So kinda funny yesterday, I have 3 horses to ride and everyone was out of commission :lol: one isn't broke and Pam didn't have time, Dev bashed his face and needed stiches and Friday threw a shoe :lol: so I rode Dante.

Dante was really good, he had to be re-schooled in quite a few things. For example someone has been pulling on the right rein quite a bit and he was dull to the right leg and just not as organized, so through turns I had to use my position and weight to redirect him, get bend, pet him with the right rein so he doesn't lock behind it. He literally locked his jaw anytime he felt right rein, so had to show him he could trust me not to pull on the right rein, give and relax in his jaw. Also had to help him organize, so he actually stepped with his inside hind into the outside rein both ways. 4 loop serpentine really helped him unlock and be really through. Going right he really didn't want to bend through his whole rib cage, so I had to kick him up towards his shoulder and half halt the outside rein to get him true. Starting to finish he felt like a totally different horse. He wasn't over his back or engaged behind starting but once I did the laterals and focused on rhythm and half halts and organization and his back came up. Holy cow the difference was incredible. His trot when he's disengaged is super smooth, once he's over his back and engaged it's like you're getting popped out if you don't anchor in (anchoring in doesn't mean driving seat bones down into the back just like dropping your weight down from your belly and using some leg but not in a tense way so you don't pop out). Canter was night and day difference start to finish, once he brought his back up and sat. He really felt like a trained horse, he easily maintained collected canter, canter shoulder ins and leg yields were effortless. The drive and power he has behind, he honestly feels way fancier than a lot of the warmbloods I've ridden. He's so powerful. The walk felt incredibly different to start with and with in just few minutes when he became engaged felt powerful and the stride size felt feet longer and more rhythmical. I was amazed.

Also did quite a bit of laterals and cadence-collected type work and he was good. It didnt feel like he was straining or it was hard. He was truly the most in self carriage, true and rhythmical he has ever been. Through a trot lengthening, I put both reins in one hand and I rubbed his neck and patted and he kept cadence and was very correct in the contact. I was impressed. He started everywhere in his shoulders in the leg yields but just half halt and organize and he was back to being straight and clean. Easily leg yielded across the arena or from the wall to centerline and back walk, trot, canter. It felt effortless. It was a nice treat to ride a trained horse and feel like you know what I do know what I'm doing, I didn't do a bad job with him :lol:

He was very good but I know from that ride, if he had to do that everyday he'd be miserable. It's not his thing. He was good and I don't think he hates dressage but I think he gets burnt out on it quickly. Like if I had to write history or english papers all the time. I'm good at it and I'm capable and don't mind if I do it sometimes but all the time I'd be miserable.

But I'll say I am so grateful to Dante and my trainers for all the lessons he's taught me. He's hard to ride correctly and get him true, now it's not so bad but to train I learned an incredible amount from him, especially about organization and the importance of rhythm control and engagement, learned a ton of half halts from him and in general I just learned a lot. The babies are also teaching me new things which is why when people say they get bored riding babies, I say it's because you're not doing it right and don't know what you're developing. Every horse has something to teach you and every opportunity has something to show you. I'll say I love riding the babies because to me you learn so much more about riding because to me everything you do with training a baby is to set them up for success later on in their career. You're installing all the basics and reprogramming their nature. An anxious, nervous horse you're teaching to trust and listen, a dull, could care less horse you're teaching to react and listen, a horse with no balance or awareness you're showing the way. A spooky horse you're teaching to turn to the rider and listen, so they gradually become less and less reactive-spooky and listen.


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## frlsgirl

Sorry I've been absent from HF so much; firstly, yay on selling Dante and that you feel good about where he's going. My friend just sold her horse this week and although she cried when it was time to say good bye she seems really relieved now that her horse is in a better fitting home which leaves her open to find a new horse that fits her better. 

It sounds like you are really appreciating all the learning experiences you got from riding the babies and Dante. Sometimes when you are so busy riding etc. you don't even realize that you are developing as a rider and then when you finally get a break it all kind of hits you.

Keep us posted on Frankie - I love that name; very Italian/Mafia boss like


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## PoptartShop

Oh my goodness! The trio was all out of commission. I guess Thursday wasn't anyone's day LOL.
Awww, you and Dante have both learned a lot from each other, working together. 
He's probably like...dressage? UH NO, NOT TODAY! LOL.
Glad he's doing better and whoever's yanking on that right rein better cut it out! Grrrr.

Let us know about Frankie pleeease!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you both I appreciate it. 


Tanja- thank you and I understand being busy. I've been really busy too. Freeing up a bit this weekend but should be back to being overwhelmed soon :lol: It's a really good fit for Dante and I've cut a lot of ties already which is part of why I don't see him very often. I want it to be easier for him and me to be used to not being in each others life and it not be so hard. Plus Dante really likes his new person and it's a really good fit where I know he'll be happier and in a more appropriate situation than with me. I'm really happy for him and for his new owner who I like a lot. 

And I agree. It's easy to get caught up in the riding and forget to be grateful and thankful. I feel I learned a lot from Dante and even though I've ridden a lot of quirky-difficult types/personalities. Dante posed a lot of very unique challenges. He was so sensitive in the bridle and would get so behind the bit, and he'd literally flip his head around like I ripped his teeth out of his mouth, if he felt he even a pulse down my fingers. Now it's not an issue but learning to correct those issues and work with a horse whose conformation is pretty wrong and riding Dante left essentially no margin of error or it was just rough. I struggled so hard with him. But for dressage taught me a lot because I remember in leg yields when he was green if I didn't release in the right time he'd rear up, when he was green if I let him spook we were going for a gallop. He had such extreme reactions to very mild things. He was an all tact ride, you could do things technically right and it would just get him pinned against you. A lot of it was keeping him willing to work with you because as long as you had him willing and thinking it's his idea he was fine but even then it was iffy. Devon Kane (international GP rider who develops young horses as well) said I did a really good job with him, especially for how tricky he is. She was really impressed. 

Now he's not like that, he's grown up so he's perfectly safe and not spooky or nervous about much anymore but when he was a baby. He was quite naughty. I struggled a lot but I also learned a lot and don't regret any of it. I learned so much from Dante that you just can't learn riding something more straight forward and even having ridden mostly quirky horses or problem children, he posed a lot of unique challenges and the training issues that came up, I'd never experienced before and probably wont again because a lot of it was very just Dante does that if that makes sense.
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PoptartShop- Yeah lol. It was kinda funny. I rode Friday yesterday and he was awesome. Still very green but we had a very good ride. Changes of direction, not try to slam his shoulder in and turn in. Lots of straight lines and having him listen and half halt and he's doing really-really well. I think once we're more consistent with him the transitions will be better, right now the upwards are a bit hesitant and the canter transition is a bit rough but that's to be expected. Downwards are good. 

And he's ridden by a lot of lessons kids and teens, so I'm guessing it's someone who just doesn't know better. I don't think they do it out of meanness, I think they just probably don't know better and are learning. And Dante doesn't seem upset about it at all, just felt defensive for a little bit until he realized I wasn't going to pull on the right rein and he was like oh yeah. Never mind.
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Anyways Frankie was awesome. I'm so excited. I literally almost cried on my way home just because I'm so grateful and enthusiastic about this next phase. I'm having her vetted for PPE hopefully on Tuesday and then hopefully we can get to the next phase. 

Frankie doesn't have a lot of lunging experience. 

Here are some pictures. Frankie is between 16.1 and 16.2h right now at 3. She still has quite a bit of growing to do but both my trainers agreed she's much more size appropriate. They both felt I looked tall on Dante. I'm 5'7 but I have long legs. From heel to hip I'm 39-40 inches.

I'm trying to not get so excited because I do have anxiety and always in the back of my mind I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, so enthusiasm and optimism literally terrifies me. I think this is an amazing opportunity and I'm so thankful I've had the opportunities I've had and also that even though I've struggled a lot, I'm in a better place.


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## Tazzie

I have all my fingers crossed hoping this works out. She really is a nice mare!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you I'm really excited. I'm really nervous because I am excited and I get really uneasy when things seem to go well. My anxiety comes out worse when things are going well, so I'm trying to restrict my enthusiasm. I'm used to things not working out or going badly or the most random, bizarre thing that seemed impossible happening. My mind just goes to all the negative what ifs, I'm never "comfortable" I'm always waiting for the other shoes to drop and I really wish I wasn't like that because it makes me panic. I'm literally terrified of feeling like things are going okay. Because when things are going well, that means something I couldn't forsee is going to come around and make me wish I'd never hoped or dared to dream things were going to work out like a slap across the face to remind you of your place in this world. Must never get too comfortable.

Again just trying to curve my anxiety. I may have jumped the gun a little too because I ordered her a leather halter, some saddles pads and bell boots for when we put front shoes on her but smartpak had a 20% off coupon and it was the last day. And I really wanted to get some saddle pad colors I felt would fit her personality and look nice on her. Eventually if it all works out I'm going to get her a name plate for her halter and if I have to I can send stuff back for a full refund. Smartpak is a great company, their customer service is incredible.

Also trying to work out my intestines. I'm REALLY not a fan of radical fad diets, I believe in wholesome, healthy eating and once in a while splurging but a lot of my symptoms are really close to celiac disease. I generally try to have diet that doesn't have a lot of gluten but if I have cake or things like that my body has an inflammatory reaction. I feel incredibly sick and uncomfortable if I eat gluten products, I don't think it's in my head because it's not something I expected to happen but just happens and kills me because I love cupcakes and enjoy good food and now I feel really restricted in what I can eat. It sits in my stomach for days and I bloat a lot. So at some point I'm getting tested for allergies and celiac to try to find out what's going on at some point. I HATE going to the Dr. I hate it.


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## Tihannah

She is stunning Cassie! I'm so excited for you! Her trot is simply beautiful and I can really see you going upper level with this horse! It would be so fun to watch the two of you together. Don't fret about it! Tess and I are rooting for you guys!


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## Rainaisabelle

Like Katie and Tina I have everything crossed for you Cassie ! She's beautiful !


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## Tazzie

I'd be doing the same thing, trust me :lol: it's fun to shop for pony stuff!!

And allergy testing would probably be VERY beneficial. I know it has been for me!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- Thank you. I really love her. I've known her since she was a baby. I remember when she was born and looking after her mom who had rough pregnancies/deliveries which was why she only had 2 babies. But Frankie couldn't breathe when she was born but she came back strong and was a really sweet baby and is totally healthy.

I really appreciate the support. Thank you  I'm really excited about getting her broke and sitting on her for the first time...and putting a bridle and saddle on her too :lol: Mari loves her. 
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Raina- Thank you Raina, I appreciate it  
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Katie- It really is! I'm kinda excited about getting her, her own stuff. Her colors are more along the lines of pink, magenta, berry colors. No hot pink or anything obnoxious but girlie. She's very feminine and definitely knows she's a girl and I think it's a color that suits her.

And thanks. I probably will at some point when I can gather the gumption to drag myself to the Dr. I just hate going.
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Update

I've been riding the babies everyday since Thursday, I am exhausted.

The babies have been kicking my butt! lol they've been great, we've had some incredible rides and break throughs. Friday and Dev are broke but green. It took everything I had to ride Dev today, oh my gosh it was a test of my ability to organize. He wasn't bad at all, just very green and baby, distracted by absolutely everything looking for any and every reason to get out of work. So I had to be very affirmative and sharp with him. It took a lot, he went really well and looked great but it took a lot. Dev is a very good horse, not naughty at all, he's just a baby. Fortunately Pam gives me pointers and helps me with them, so I learn a TON every time I ride. I can't believe how much I've learned in the last week. It's been hard but well worth it. So much emphasis on details and refining qualities which have made a big difference in my riding and position. Good thing I'm one of those people whose been pushed past my breaking point physically so hard that I don't even register that I'm working as hard as I am until we walk. I think the Marines helped me with that, I'll easily work past discomfort to where it's just me mentally working and my body doing it even though my body is like I'm dying! I've ran almost 8 miles with half a mile on dry sand in boots and had to sprint a steep half mile hill carrying 45lb water jug then run 3 miles and tag team with buddies for 2hrs doing various exercises and running non stop in the Marines, so I think my body has a high pain and physical exertion tolerance.

In Ga I remember almost passing out between all the running and intensity of the workout sessions and the heat being over 90 degree and super humid. I'd never felt so exhausted in my life. I could barely stand upright when we were in formation. My body I think was in a bit of shock, I don't know any other way to describe it but I'm glad I did it. I think it was good for me mentally and physically, even though now my body is hurting lol. I saw this thing "I'm hot, young and full of moderate to severe joint pain" lol the truth for veterans everywhere.

Qira had made tons of progress. Frankie will hopefully be vetted on Tuesday *crossed fingers* I love her so much. We cuddled yesterday and lots of scratches and kisses today. She's a love bug. I think she's going to be so happy to have her own stall and own person. She lives outside atm. 

I also rode Dante today, he was good but he just about killed me to get him going. He was so stiff and didn't really want to, he worked out of it but it took a while. When I got off of him I was literally light headed and my legs were jelly, it took everything I had to ride him. He was AMAZING! He felt great but to get it took so much, hind trot was SO bouncy. I think he is the bounciest horse I've ever ridden. It took everything I had to stay supple in my body, not get tossed into the rafter and still ride him. We did extensions which were amazing, so much lift and drive. It took my breath away (lol literally and metaphorically). It was incredible. He felt like he was moving really-really well. I had to tap him on the shoulder a few times to get him to lift his shoulders up and sit because he's not strong enough to maintain it for that long but whoof- it took everything I had. Lots of laterals, serpentines and steep shoulder ins walk, trot, and canter. Also did some haunches in which left was easy, right he thought I meant canter so I had to half halt and organize so he knew haunches in and not canter. 

Dante should be going to his new home on Tuesday or Wednesday *fingers crossed* his new mommy is really anxious to get him home. I'm so happy for them. I really couldn't have asked for a better home. I knew it was the right home when Dante was a bit hot when she rode and she never got tense or worried, she was just soft, calm and brought him back and didn't let him anxiousness get the better of him and had him trot every fence and had a really good ride.

Mari said Dante has such a great canter, it's really not a surprise he jumps as well as he does and is as scopey as he is which made me happy to hear  he loves it.


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## Tihannah

So glad to hear the happy ending with Dante is close. Its amazing that you found someone so well suited to him.

On another note, I love the way you describe your rides and working through issues to get them moving better. What I would REALLY love is if you could somehow incorporate this into one of your riding videos. Unless you're really experienced or have an eye for it, it's really difficult to see what's happening when someone rides a horse. Which is why I love sending you videos to critique or provide input for me. Like those babies from a high end barn I sent you a few months ago. I simply saw a beautiful horse that "looked" like it rode perfectly. But YOU could see where the horse was lacking and what the rider was doing to make these movements look better for the video. 

So when you describe these things, like with Dante, I would love to hear you narrate a ride and explain what's happening and what you are doing to work through it. Not yet sure how you do it with video already shot, but I'm sure there's a way! lol.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I'm not really sure how I could set that up but I'm sure sometime I could get video and then write down what I'm doing and why. I can't say I'll remember every detail of what happened because I won't but I can explain some. Hopefully I'll get to do that sometime. Sometimes I talk when I ride, talking to the horse, other times I'm too busy to try to talk while I'm riding. It takes a LOT of focus, I'm realizing more and more how much mental discipline it takes to ride. I think that's why I ride best when a horse is being difficult and hard because it makes me focus and work harder and dials me in. If that makes sense? You're always learning, feeling, seeing and picking up on new things and developing a better and better skills set, as well as a better and better eye. It's a constant work in progress. 

But I entirely agree it can be really hard to know what's going on. Developing an eye is hard and is constantly a work in progress which is why I LOVE being around Mari and Pam (my trainers) and listening to them talk and seeing what they're paying attention to and what they notice or Devon or Lee (international GP riders and Lee is a CDI 3* judge). You learn and pick up on so much.

For example.

With Dante today, I kept the warm up with big 20m circles, not as up and together or through as I'd ask later but after warm up I used counter flexion to get him really into my outside rein and straighter, if he's not really in my outside rein he's not in self carriage. Then when he wanted to dive through his shoulder I'd go into counter flexion off of my leg and position and if he didn't respond to my leg, I booted him and made it firm that that's my expectation and kept the outside rein to guide his shoulder then while maintaining the connection in my outside rein, I sat a little in and shifted to true bend in my body but didn't use my rein, just my leg and knee. I also release very frequently but only in my fingers like I'm giving him the opportunity to reach and stretch into the bit but still keep up. I never let him loose impulsion, not through laterals or anything else. He must be forward first. Laterals he must be in the outside rein and in leg yield straight. No weird swinging of haunches or shoulders, still bent around my leg but not crooked. I don't "hold" him in the bridle, he's always seeking and working into the contact so no pulling back or backwards motions. Always forward. If he's having a hard time and I need him to lift more in his shoulders and open his throat latch I tap his shoulder, send him forward and half halt. I also get the "up" by controlling the rhythm. More forward, bigger gaits to shorter steps, than back forward again and gradually condensing. You dont condense in the bridle but organization of the halt halts and positioning of the horses body. Allowing the exercise to help and not over riding it. Also using the shoulder ins and steepness of the shoulder ins to help him sit. I did 10m serpentines down a long side once because it really helps open up his body and get that huge swing and whole body throughness. I also had to kick him up towards his shoulder once to say bend there, whole body and not dump on the shoulder. Canter transitions, dont brace the elbows, relax and let the hands be forward, ideally dont pull back in the up or down transitions. 

Dev when he loses focus, it all has to be first he MUST be forward, nothing else matter but that comes first and I get a reaction no matter what, I expect it. I use my leg, he MUST respond, I can't let anything be grey. I have to demand when he's like that and say with my aids, this is how it is there are no other options. I still keep my connection, babies have to use themselves and work over their back and into the bridle, they have to learn where there body is and what aids mean. With him going right shoulder in positioning helps a lot, he doesn't know shoulder in but it helps, lots of leg yielding off the left leg. and when he wanted to go through my outside aid. I stepped to the inside stirrup and booted him with my outside leg and tapped him on the shoulder in counter flexion to get him to move his outside shoulder around the turns. And when he responds appropriately then I just position and turn but today was a I had to make him do it. When he got distracted, I'd take more inside rein and leg and get his attention before it became an issue, then put him in the outside rein and keep working and half halt and get his attention when he'd lose it and go into no matter what you have to stay forward and listen, you don't get to look at anything, pay attention to anything but what's going on between you and me. He's learning discipline.

If his shoulder was too far gone, I'd change directions, get him back into the outside rein and through then switch directions again. Maintaining the outside rein and shoulder which sometimes you can't because it's so hard for them.

So on turns it's like step in, counter flexion, turn, relax, step in, counter flexion, turn, relax, repeat so you're riding the whole circle. Never micro managing. And also when they get tired and want to try to get behind the bridle, tapping the shoulder and letting them come above the bit then bringing them back and letting them come above and bringing them back. Also using rhythm to control. A little more forward, a little less forward, a little more a little less. If my wrist isnt' straight and I feel the need to pull back, I shorten my rein to keep my elbows soft and giving but the horse must be working into the contact, if they're behind the bit, this just condenses and makes the issue worse but horse meeting the contact I do it to let me elbows be soft and still keep a connection and to ride with less grey area and be more refined/precise. Because if my reins are too long my elbows get not as relaxed as they should be and my wrist isn't straight.

It sounds like a lot of micromanaging but it's really not, you're asking the horse not to obey regardless but to listen and helping them be in balance and pay attention. It's not managing parts but organizing wholes. The horse always has the option to come above the bit, they're not forced into that position but they're there because there body is there and as riders we've organized them to be there. There is nothing pulling, bracing or mouth grabbing, fiddling about it. It's all about refining communication and being able to read, pick up on and respond if that makes sense? We have shorter reins without loops because we're asking our horse to be on the bit and in self carraige while minimizing grey area. We want total communication and that requires a lot more skill than dropped reins to maintain that same self carriage and relaxation but still execute complicated movements


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## tinyliny

I agree. you'd make some good training videos.


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## Rainaisabelle

I'd listen to them


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## Tazzie

Those colors sound like they would be terrific on her  I do agree with no hot pink though :lol:

And the allergist is WELL worth it. I can breathe a million times easier since visiting one. I'm sure they could help you out too.

Glad the babies are going well! I'm excited for you  and fingers crossed she vets well!! Glad Dante gets to start his next adventure this week too!


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## frlsgirl

So I love Frankie's enthusiasm and the pushing power with those hind legs; those will come in handy!


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## Tihannah

That was an EXCELLENT write up, Cassie. Thank you!! Made so much sense. And I am only just beginning to understand the forward and the benefits it entails. In the big fenced in pasture I like to ride it, Tess is always a little nervous about the neighbor's house. When we pass it, her attention is over there and she comes off the contact. I usually shorten my reins with a lot of half halts and holds to try and bring her back to me, but its not very effective. Last week, I kept my reins still, but half halted and legged her on, and she came back on the bit easily. It was just keeping her there. These are the things I am trying t learn and understand and I appreciate you taking the time to break it down and explain it. It is fantastic insight for a greenie like myself!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Caroline, Raina and Tina- I don't know I can't imagine myself making many training videos. I just don't have the equipment or people to video me :lol: maybe someday I'll get something with me riding Frankie or one of the babies someday. I have one of me and Dev from July but I don't own the video and feel weird posting it publicly. Dev is Frankie's half brother, same dam. 

But thank you. I might put something together sometime. I just don't know when I'd be able to do that.
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Katie- I'm getting a baby or light pink saddle pad and polos for her. It's pink but not overwhelming.

https://www.smartpakequine.com/pt/b/6527

I'm really glad your allergist was able to help you so much, I need to just arrange it sometime. 

Thank you. I love all of the babies, they're good boys and girls :lol: and thank you. I'm excited about Dante's next adventure too and hope Frankie vets well. 
________________________________

Tanja- Thank you. She's a neat filly. And she has a TON of power behind and push. I'm so anxious to know what she feels like to ride. She hasn't had tack on and nobody has sat on her yet, so I'm so excited for when I can call her mine and sit on her for the first time. She has a ton of personality too.
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Tina- you're welcome. I try to explain to the best of my ability. I know there are details I probably left out that are important because it's always in the context that things work or don't

And yes when a horse is look or spooky, sending them forward, and organizing and keeping their inner ear on you is the way to go. It takes practice to work it out but I know when Dante would get super hot, I'd do alot of laterals to keep his attention because he could be you breathe wrong I am taking off. One time I exhaled and he bolted to the other side of the arena. I also rode him in the arena when he was on fire hot with two other people and they were so oblivious it was taking everything I had to keep him from being a fire breathing dragon and taking over the ring. It was frustrating because it was taking so much to ride him and they weren't looking where they were going and the arena is kinda small. It just made it really hard to organize him. However that was the last ride he ever reared with me. He was such a brat :lol: 

And a lot of it is just organization and setting them up for success without micromanaging. It's just setting a clear direction but they have to be willing to make it there too.
________________________________

Dante video. I wish I had a last ride video but no one to film. I wish I had it on video because I know he moves better ridden vs lunging and I want to see what he moves like now :lol: But it's nice to remember how my body was. Hard to lunge with the lunge line and whip in one hand and still organize his balance and help him :lol: but I did my best. 






Video from last year






1st ride on Dante. He was SO SO green, like riding a 3yr old. I worked my butt off and trying to stay with his canter was tough. It was a really rough canter, felt like you were in a washer on spin cycle. He tried really hard though, he really did. You can see how his canter had new rhythm and how downhill and uncoordinated/awkward he was. He's come a LONG way in a year and 8 months. He didn't really steer then either lol. Everyone thought I was crazy when I bought him but I knew his canter was going to be his best gait, I kept saying he has a great canter in there it's just going to take a while to develop and without a doubt now his walk and canter are his best gaits. 








Pictures from tonight. I don't know if I'll get a chance to go out and spend time with him tomorrow but I might. He's going to his new home Wednesday *crosses fingers* He's such a character, he has tons of personality. He looks so different from the awkward, super downhill, swan necked baby I bought 1yr and 8 months ago.











Dante's food mess


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## frlsgirl

Is anyone else getting a little teary eyed looking at these pics and videos of Dante? You've done a great job with him and now it's time to let him go and move on, sniff, sniff.


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## PoptartShop

Awww...Dante is so wonderful. Thankyou for the pictures & vids- I agree, it is bittersweet! <3  He's such a lovely horse, you've done really well with him.
OMG the food mess pictures are so cute! Love them!!!


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## Tazzie

The polos will look GREAT on her! I can't wait to see her all dressed up in them 

Definitely go to an allergist. They are absolutely amazing!!

Fingers crossed for Frankie too!! I'm sure she will vet fine 

And he really did come a long way. You should be VERY proud! Your baby is all grown up and ready for his next adventure!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- trust me my eyes were leaking a few days ago but he's going to a great home where he's going to be really well loved and happy. And thank you. I look back and think so too, I put a lot of work into him and it wasn't hard and "conventional" wisdom or horse training doesn't work with him but I learned a lot from him and my trainers helped me a lot with him.
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PoptartShop- Thank you. He's really become a really good boy and he is super cute and expressive. I'm definitely going to miss all his expressions but he's going to a lovely person who definitely appreciates that about him.
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Katie- Thank you. I'm really stressed about Frankie and things. I'm hoping she vets well too. And thank you. I've put a lot of work into him and learned a ton from him in the process. I really couldn't have trained him successfully without my trainer's. He was super tricky, complicated, and presented me with a lot of training issues I had never encountered before. I learned such an incredible amount from him, I don't even know how to explain what I learned other than some times the traditionally right way is the wrong way, just complicated to train. He's not bad now but teaching him contact and how to use his body, getting him to have an actual rhythm was SUPER hard and to get all that and still have him reach for the contact, plus all his quirks and temper tantrums that could get ugly. 

Not like that at all now. He's a good boy but getting through that hump was rough.
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Been pretty busy, still got a lot of running around to do the next few days and I'm REALLY tired so I apologize if I dont get to everyone's threads.

I'm pretty stressed and anxious :lol: not that it's funny but my anxiety has been giving me trouble the last few days. I've gotten a lot better at managing and coping with it but right now it has me super neurotic, worried, full of doubt and stress. I'm trying to calm it down but my whole brain is like ahhhhh. I don't know how to describe it other than extremely unpleasant where you just simply cannot relax at all and your brain no matter how much you tell it to shut up is running through every worst case scenario. I haven't been sleeping much.

I'm going to the Dr tomorrow, that stresses me out a lot. I HATE going to the Dr.

Dante made it to his new home this morning and seems to be settling in really well. He looks really happy and has a new stable mate. I really couldn't have asked for a better home for him. 





Frankie is being vetted tonight and I'm SUPER nervous/anxious/worried. I know I shouldn't be she's a 3yr old filly whose never had a problem in her life *knock on wood* but a horse can show no outward signs and have no wear and have kissing spine or a chip or who knows. I knew someone who got a horse vetted and the horse was fine and then suddenly was lame because it had a chip and will never be sound. It was a 3yr old. Super talented. I've also known of 2yr olds with kissing spine and it's unusual but I'm the what if and everything goes wrong, going to seem super calm on the outside and freaking out the inside type :lol:

But I took some pics with Frankie






Rode the babies yesterday and they were good. Dev has been pretty tricky lately, riding him is all about neck control and I think once he has laterals it'll help a lot but I definitely ride my butt off every ride. He does leg yield and he's learning baby shoulder fore atm, he's getting it but it's not installed yet. It's hard to explain unless you've ridden something like him. When he's older and more developed it won't be an issue but right now while he's so green it makes things really hard and he goes really well. It's just really hard and requires a lot of tact. Fortunately he's not quirky and doesn't have a complicated personality. Just a tricky body and coordination/organization stuff. Basically if I just wanted his nose down, in the right spot, and make him look good without him truly being through, over his back, and correct it'd be no problem but having him truly meeting the contact, working into it, truly in the outside rein, truly using himself correctly is very tricky. Even on the lungeline you can't really get him through, even if you're very skilled. Sometimes you can but it's a ton of organization and you can't let anything go, anything small and you've lost him. You can't micromanage, can't organize parts but anyways he's going really well and he looks good, it just takes a lot atm. Down the road I think he'll be really easy to ride but right now it's work.

I've also been offered to ride a horse schooling 3rd-4th level in a clinic which I'm considering but I don't think I'll have the money to do it if everything work out with Frankie. I don't think I'll be able to, though I'd love to do it. Pam wants me to, to get me going and actually work on myself and actually get to school vs guiding babies wanting to wibble wobble around the arena :lol: I want to do it, I just really don't think financially it's a good idea.


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## Rainaisabelle

Good luck cassie ! I've come to realise when it comes to horses if it's meant to happen it will!


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## frlsgirl

Anxiously awaiting results from the PPE; she is a cutie!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Okay my plan is to keep up on everyone's journals later today or tomorrow. 

Raina and Tanja- Thank you both. Frankie passed her PPE and I'm working on the paperwork for the bill of sale. She was so good, despite being quite nervous. She is 3 after all and there were 4 horses in the arena when we trotted lines for her flexions. Bit overwhelming for a baby but growing up is happening soon. :lol: I was joking about how Dante finally grew out of the baby stage and here I am jumping back into it lol. I'm so excited to get tack on her and start the ground work to hopefully I'll be able to 

I believe she's ISR and not oldenburg NA. Her dam is a tb/hanoverian cross, G-line and her sire is oldenburg and approved for most german warmblood registries (except holsteiner and trakehner). It doesn't really matter what "label" she wears but I'm pretty sure her foals would qualify for oldenburg NA if I ever bred her. And that's a BIG IF. I've been involved with breeding and it's so expensive, unless you own your own place to me it's not really worth it. 

This is her sire. 

Paul Schockemöhle | Service station & stud | Breeding stallions






Baby Frankie pictures. She was a really sweet baby, I remember she was always really easy to handle and good about things. She had opinions but she was very willing. I have pictures of her as a 2yr old somewhere. 





And her stuff arrived. The pink is darker than I anticipated. I hope it's not too overwhelming. I kinda wanted a subtle pink, pleasant but not bam in your face.


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## Rainaisabelle

Whoo! Happy for you Cassie !


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## Tazzie

The pink is going to be GORGEOUS on her!!! I'm so incredibly happy for you!


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## Tihannah

Yaaaayyyy!! How exciting!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you everyone. I'm super excited. I am now a proud owner of a very sweet young mare.

In all our photos we tried to get together, I either look fine and she looks awkward or I looked awkward and she looked good so we just went with well I'm just awkward but the horse has to look good lol. She's still growing, she's about 16.1h right now. My guess is she'll mature around 16.3h but a friend of mine said her 16.1h mare she got as a 5yr old is now 17.1h and I was like under 17 is good lol but I won't love her less if she goes over. Sire is 17h, dam is 16.2h and maternal grandsire is 17.3h so who knows. Her brother is either 16.3h or almost 16.3h, he's been growing alot. He was the same size as Frankie when he was 3.





Other news babies are doing really well under saddle. I am riding Friday less and another student of my trainer will be riding him more as Frankie is being added to my list and 4 horses is a lot while still going to school but I'm still putting tune up rides on Friday to keep him on track but I'm so glad someone else is getting to experience riding the babies. I think it'll really help her riding and understanding.

Dev (Frankie's brother) is doing REALLY really well. I'm SO proud of him. He feels phenomenal, I actually got to see someone ride him the other day after I rode him and there were moments where I was like WOW that's a stellar horse and undersaddle yesterday I really felt those moments. He's really fancy, he's going to be amazing especially with more training. He has a ton of ability and talent. All his gaits are pretty equal in quality. Im very impressed because if you watched him on the lungeline he looks very plain and ordinary but under saddle he looks like a totally different horse. You have to ride it to get that extra movement but it's there. So Im SUPER excited to get Frankie going and see what she's like. She's likely to be pretty plain undersaddle for a while but down the line I know there is a lot of movement in her.

All around horsemanship is truly an art. Being a good handler, good at lunging, in hand work and undersaddle are all SO SO important. Being a good horsewoman is important and I'm very glad to say I've had tons of lessons in lunging, handling and in general horse behavior through experience and also having someone much more experienced to show me. Especially working and handling and bringing up babies, that's an experience. I thought about that because it really doesn't occur to me, I just handle and lunge and I am very skilled at it, my trainer is obviously way better than me but watching someone else lunge and then be taught to lunge better and develop a better eye really pointed out to me how big a skill it really is. People think lunging is just sending a horse around on a line and to me it's not that but hearing it explained and communicated to someone else was really interesting. I think there is so much you can teach horse on the lungeline and using side reins, some people think side reins simply pull a horses head down and when I hear that, I know that person doesn't have a clue what theyre talking about and doesn't know how to use them properly. It gives the horse something to work into and helps educate them about contact. A lot of horses really dont understand contact at all and will fight contact or evade it or never truly reach out into it and take it. 

I saw a video of a friend of mine riding who is showing at a much higher level than I have and who basically got nice horses and opportunities that I didn't and honestly I was jealous of her but then I saw her ride and I'm not jealous at all anymore. Her horses look held back against the bit and not really through or complete, like they don't really understand contact or how to use themselves correctly but have been cleverly manipulated and mechanically placed so they look expressive and track up even though they're hollow and bracee. My horses, even the babies don't go like that and I know my road may be long but at the end of the day my horses will do better.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Yesterday I rode 3 babies and lunged Frankie (my trainer helped me). 

Dev was really good but very muscularly tired. He needs a lot of help with his shoulders, especially going right. I'm teaching him shoulder fore/in because I think once he has that it'll help him a lot, especially with organization and keeping him through. He's getting a lot more consistently through, I don't have to change back to the left as often or shallow loops to move his shoulder in and he's working out how to bend through his right rib cage so I don't have to help him quite so much. It's having him connect to the outside rein, bringing his shoulder around while still bending through his rib cage and stepping through with the inside hind. So lots of changing direction, laterals, etc. He's gotten a lot more responsive and in general he's understanding a lot more. Still rides like a baby but he's understanding things a lot better. He's a cool horse.

Friday was excellent. We had to address the drifting and he got mad at me a few times because I wouldn't let him go through his shoulders and drift around the arena. I had to get after him using my outside leg a few times to get him to not drift through his right shoulder. He needs more help left than right and once I stayed consistent and made him keep to my line on the inside track, no drifting to the wall, going through his shoulders, he was by far the best he's ever been. He feels a lot more like a grown up. Obviously still green but he's pretty solid. You have to ride it but he's pretty easy about things, I'm teaching him shoulder fore/in too. It's such an important exercise, so important for the basics. Leg yield he's getting. I dont do it to the wall, off towards centerline so he controls his shoulders and listens to the rider. Rather than trying to control the situation. He's a cool horse though.

Both Friday and Dev, walk, trot, canter on the bit and through. They're getting their laterals. Ours start on the bit and learn about contact from the get go and learn to use their bodies. They're good kids. 

Qira was really good. She's gotten a lot less neurotic, she walked like a normal horse. I was very proud of her. She even stepped off and didn't lean on her shoulder when I asked her to step over she listened and halted. I'm proud of her. Things are slow with her because she gets very stressed/anxious about it all. I'm hoping we'll be able to send her out on the lungeline soon and maybe do some trotting. She's getting a lot less stressed out and doing better.

Frankie was a big girl yesterday and wore a saddle for the first time in months. She was so good about it. She acted like we'd been putting a saddle on her all the time. She has the breaking saddle on. On the lungeline she bucked and kicked out at the stirrup irons hitting her sides, they were tied but she still felt them against the saddle and didn't like that but she was really good. I was super impressed, usually the babies aren't so well behaved about lunging in a saddle for the first time but she was like it's touching me, it's touching me, I don't like it but then was fine. I'm hoping to sit on her for the first time next week. She's still learning to lunge. She mostly knows but I wouldn't say she's "trained" so my trainer was giving me tips to do better and teach her good lunging habits.


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## PoptartShop

Gahhhh YAY!!! SOOO happy for you!!!!  Awww!!


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## frlsgirl

"Mommy wow! I'm a big kid now!" - she looks mighty proud of herself. Ana still gets spooked by stirrups and she's 8! I think some horses are just more reactive than others and just never grow out of that but then again for Dressage you want a reactive horse as opposed to a kick ride. It will be neat to see you two progress together. Congrats again!


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## Tihannah

She looks lovely under saddle. I'm SOOO happy for you, Cassie, and so excited to share this journey with you and your new baby!


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## DanteDressageNerd

PoptartShop said:


> Gahhhh YAY!!! SOOO happy for you!!!!  Awww!!


Thank you







I really love her. She's such a sweet girl. Atm I'm a little perplexed as to why in pictures she looks so different then she does in person. Dante I felt looked the same in person vs images but she's actually more leg than body and is very refined. Her head is kind of dished and very pretty. But I'm the same way, super awkward if someone takes pics of me and I know it. If I don't know it's fine but I know, I just come out weird. 



frlsgirl said:


> "Mommy wow! I'm a big kid now!" - she looks mighty proud of herself. Ana still gets spooked by stirrups and she's 8! I think some horses are just more reactive than others and just never grow out of that but then again for Dressage you want a reactive horse as opposed to a kick ride. It will be neat to see you two progress together. Congrats again!


Thank you. I think that's exactly it!! Mom look at me I'm a big girl doing big girl things! And I can see Ana being like that, she is a girl and knows it. And it's not a bad thing, just means she's aware and isn't okay with it. 

Lol absolutely sensitive and reactive is good. I think she'll be pretty sensitive undersaddle once she gets going but hard to say atm they change SO much from start to actually being broke and actually going. It's going to be a long road, lots of work ahead of us. LOTS but taking it one step at a time and trying not to get ahead of ourselves and take our time.



Tihannah said:


> She looks lovely under saddle. I'm SOOO happy for you, Cassie, and so excited to share this journey with you and your new baby!


Thank you. I love her. She's such a sweet girl. She has sass but she's a good girl and means well. I'm excited to progress with her too







it's a long road ahead but it'll be worth it. Long road but here we go lol. 
_________
I didn't see Frankie yesterday, too much running around. But I guess I'll rant because people confuse me, especially other females. I honestly do not understand why girls can be so petty and territorial. Why girls isolate other girls as a threat. I don't get that. Or clicks, I don't get that. My female friends aren't like that but when I'm in school and listen to/observe it and how they'll dis someone for something with the depth of they didn't do as I said and how dare they stick up for themself. I also don't get why people (in general) are SO petty and deceptive. 

I've met so many people that like to play victim but really aren't, just in their head and how they want to be perceived. With friends, etc when people send mixed messages, are two faced, and petty, won't say thank you and stop talking to you because you don't say what they want to hear. I just cut off ties because I won't put in effort that isn't reciprocated and it confuses the [email protected] out of me, I just don't understand and trying to understand drives me crazy which is an icky part of aspergers.

However I'm also realizing most people are not like me. I can disagree with someone and not think any less of them, just because we have different view points and experiences. Though certain things I will GREATLY judge someone for what I consider immoral, wicked, petty and judgemental without reason or fairness. Mistreatment of innocence is always wrong, I won't go into specifics but animal abuse and pedophiles are always in the wrong. That's flat out wicked and evil, regardless of viewpoint. 

I'm also not that sensitive. I'm very very sensitive and at the same time not at all if that makes sense.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Also to clarify the rant came from listening to girls at my school and I don't listen to be creepy but to learn and understand. I haven't found an understanding for the behavior and I really want to make sense of it but people keep telling me not everything can be broken down into 0s and 1s. Or an algorithm, you can't quantify everything but I keep trying. 

I also felt they were making fun of me because I actually interact and speak in class when asked questions and they got quiet when I walked by. And I couldn't understand why, I'm odd and I dont mean to be a know it all. I just notice no one else is raising their hand so I end up being the one answering all the time. It sounded like a who does she think she is and why does she always talk to the Professor after class stuff. And that's the stuff I don't get, like going to a clinic at a different barn and I hear people who are supposed to be supporting their friend bad mouth them and I'm like why?


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## frlsgirl

Insecurities; right or wrong, birds of a feather flock together; you are a different bird so they are just letting you know that you are not part of their flock. It's ok, flap your wings and fly on.


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## Tazzie

Frankie is gorgeous! She looks like a pro all tacked up! Oh I sure hope you get to sit on her next week! What a thrill! Taking your baby start to finish  going to be fun to follow along!

I'm glad the other babies are doing well too! Everything is moving forward!

Sorry girls can be so petty :/ I agree with frlsgirl though. Just flap your wings and fly on. Shame people even make fun of others for participating in class...


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- you are probably right. It just kinda shocks me or takes me out of my bubble if that makes sense because that's not something that comes to my mind, yet I see the behavior. But that totally makes sense clicks have their own flocks of birds and the odd bird shouldn't want to fly with birds it's not alike to. I dont want to be a part of their group, I don't like being around people that actively look for things to put people down for or actively seek the faults in others. It feels toxic and unnecessary. I can't imagine how someone gets self esteem from that, for example calling someone stupid or ugly doesn't make them any smarter or more attractive. It just tears someone else down. It's just surprising to me, I think because I'm 6-8yrs older than they are and havent dealt with that in a long time. It just took me out of my world for a moment like woah am in HS again?
__________________________

Katie- Thank you. I'm really-really excited about getting her going. I keep telling myself to be patient and take it one step at a time. She's been really good though, I honestly couldnt have asked for better from her. She's definitely a baby and definitely a 3yr old, so the plan is to keep everything short and to the point. Taking it slow in the beginning and letting her mature into her brain and body. I think her body will be able to handle more than her mind for a while. I'm getting lunging lessons with her from Pam on better ways to lunge since she's so green to it. It's cool because there is a lot more to it than I thought, always more to it and I knew lunging was an art but it's eye opening and very good. We're hoping to put side reins on her at some point, so she can get use to bit pressure and working into something. After she has 2 or 3 times like that then we'll graduate to me leaning over her a few times and then sitting on her. We break ours slow but once they get going they're pretty solid.

Thank you. I'm REALLY proud of them. They've been so good. The boys have come a long way and are coming along. I also got to ride them entirely on my own and that was a big deal for me because it means I'm trusted with them and doing a good job. Usually Pam is in the arena but not coaching me, she's riding or giving a lesson and gives me a few hints or pointers or reminds me of something. Sometimes I'll have a ride that's kind of like a lesson. 

I agree. I don't get it either. It doesn't bother me that much, I'm guessing I'm at least 6-8yrs older than they are, to me it's just surprising because it's like being sucked back into high school and I haven't really dealt with that in a long time. Marine Corps wasnt like that, if you were going to make fun of someone you did it straight to their face and we make insulting each other and being incredibly politically incorrect a game but we're all in on it and it's not personal. Just good sport.
__________________________

My little girl (I still can't believe I own her, literally hasn't clicked yet) has been SO good this week!! I am SO SO proud of her. She's been lunging in tack and we put her in a bridle last night and she was so-so good. She's definitely 3, she's a total baby but she is very good. Se figures things out very quickly, definitely a smart girl. Our greatest restrictions I think are going to be her age. Example not getting greedy or doing too much with her. Once she is good, call it a day and not over tax her brain. Do nothing for too long. She doesnt have the focus and if we over tax her, it'll destroy her motivation. I finally got her a new turnout halter (it's a berry-pink), so not obnoxious and her new blanket matches it's brown and berry. So she should be ready for how cold it's going to get soon. I'm debating whether or not to put shoes on her next trimming. I probably will so she has that support but at the same time it's winter and I usually like to take shoes off into winter. She's not showing or going anywhere new, work is going to be light for a while. 

Here's the bit I'm probably going to buy her. Dante's bit is too thick and too big for her mouth. She went really well in the one pictured and seems happy in it. She needs a thinner mouthpiece The thick ones are too big for her mouth. People say thicker is softer, that actually isnt true. If a horse has a small mouth, putting a big bit in because "it's softer" actually hurts their mouth more because it doesn't lay correctly in their mouth and puts excess pressure on the bars of their mouth because they dont' have the space for it. It's the difference between it laying comfortably and laying with pressure against the bars. A bit needs to fit their mouth, not be whatever size we fancy because it makes us feel good.

Kinda cracked me up one of my trainers was talking about the double bridle and what bits we'll probably look at getting, she was thinking thin bradoon and short port weymouth and I was like wait we need to get her in a bit first :lol: it was cute. I think they're just excited for me and ready to see me have success on a horse and move up the levels. 

I love how neue schule provides such good information about their bits.











And I finally found this educational video on bits I've been searching for for months!! It has some really good information on it. Just note he's a polo guy.
















And the other babies are doing really-really well. Dev (Frankie's brother) was forward! He is much more responsive to the leg, he's learning shoulder fore and leg yields, we did a balanced figure of 8 in trot. I was really-really proud of him. I think he's 16.3h now or pretty close and his trot is getting so much suspension and expression when he's just there. Usually he wants to be behind the leg, last ride it was like come back to me Dev, come back to me your back loses swing and suspension if you're too quick. But he's much-much better in the bridle. He is spending a lot less time in counter flexion right. I don't have to counter bend him to get his shoulder back as often or shallow loops, I can position.

Friday was awesome! We did figures of 8 balanced and he was good. He's gotten a lot more sit and suspension. I think Im going to be his primary rider again, if you let him weave he will weave in his body like a snake. He doesn't weave and rock his shoulders back and forth with me but it is something we've had to nip in the bud at the beginning of our rides. He's working out leg yield in the trot, Dev has it pretty solid but Friday is like wait a minute I haven't done this before, shoulder fore is easier for him than Dev though. I told him we have a no wall policy. Canter transitions are getting pretty solid. Dev always has a great canter transition, Dev doesn't need an excuse to canter just a suggestion and he's like canter! I get to canter! I think it's naturally easier for Friday than Dev. Dev takes a lot more to organize and help, so he has that nice suspension trot but Friday it feels like it's easy for him. 

Qira is doing better. She's still on the lunge line, ideally we should be off of it but she's going to take a while. I think once she's confident, she'll be fine but she stresses herself out and has anxiety about things. She's very-very smart and I think she wants to do a good job so badly, she works herself up about it. She's come a LONG way and actually stepped off of my leg, bent around my leg and stepped side ways. She stop and walks from leg. She's getting a lot less stressed about it and I think with time it wont be a big deal but right now it's just being patient and getting her through it. I think she'll be a really solid, good mare. She's definitely going to be sensitive but I think she'll be a solid, good girl. 

Once the babies are off the lunge line I ride on the inside track as much as possible. I spend very little time on the wall because the babies will use the wall as a crutch and lean very badly in their shoulders if you allow them to migrate to the wall and don't keep them on your track. They go where you go, not where there balance takes them.

And tons of HW this weekend. 2 tests and a lab next week. Computer science is still my favorite class so far. My brain is like ummm logic, tedious attention to detail, constant thinking and analysis, yes this is comfort.


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## frlsgirl

That last picture cracks me up; it's like she's saying "How do I look in my bridle?"

I had a Neue Schule bit; I think it was the Verbinden or the TeamUp and I sold it after Laurie told me it's too harsh for Ana; she recommended the KK Ultra which I used for a while but then Ana told the animal communicator that she hates that one too :icon_rolleyes:. So now she's in the Myler's Dressage Legal no. 1 and she seems happier with it...for now anyway. Got to love mares :grin:!

And I very very much agree with you; that's something that has been drilled into my head; you can't unring the bell; it's better to do not enough than to do too much. You want Frankie to think that her training time is awesome because that's where she gets to practice being successful.


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## Tazzie

Sounds like everything is going so well! I'm happy for you!

Frankie looks ready to work! What a good pony 

And what good information! Man, I wish I could try that bit on Izzie. I'd love to see what she thinks of it before I were to spend the money. It sounds like something she'd like, but I don't want to go throwing money around :lol: I just know our bit is legal through 4th, but I get questioned on it EVERY time they do a bit check. I keep my phone nearby to show that it is, in fact, legal.

I sure hope she goes well in side reins so you can start laying on her! But good for you for taking your time and not blowing her mind. It'll be a good thing later in life!


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## Tihannah

Great video links! Thank you! They made me look further into the Neue Schule bits and I came across the Verbindend and it sounds like something that might work for Tess where I can get her out of the beval and into a "dressage legal" bit. Have you ever tried it or know anyone that has tried it?

LOVE the pics of Frankie and can't wait to hear about your first ride together! Oh, and I forgot to mention that I'm SOOO jealous you got a horse named Frankie cause I LOVE that name!! I have a tortoise named Frankie and it was one of my top name picks for my next horse! Lol.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- she is pretty happy with herself. She doesn't really know what all this is about but she's trying.

I can see that. The team up seems really mild to me but the verbinden I could see being too much on a really sensitive mouth *shrugs* every horse is an individual and has a different preference and that is true a lot of mares can be WAY more picky and sensitive than the boys!

Exactly!! You want the horse to keep wanting to do their job. I want her to be happy and be a long term partner, when she's 15 I want her to be just as happy as she is in a field.
___________________________

Katie- it's not going badly. I definitely feel in over my head sometimes with school but the horses keep me level.

Frankie is a really good girl. She definitely has some sass but she means well and I'll say I learned from Dante the importance of the right kind of mind. It's hard to know when they're so young but we'll see *Crossed fingers*

It really is. I feel like the more you know the better but you still don't know until you try them, it's a shame they're so expensive but the tech definitely seems to make a difference. Shame about having to pull out the rule book ever time you compete though, that's annoying. I know Herm Sprenger has a legal bit with a roller piece.

Me too! I'm looking forward to sitting on her for the first time and getting to know what she's like undersaddle. I can't wait until she's off the lunge line walk, trot, canter but we're a ways from that lol. 
___________________________

Tina- the verbinden might be worth trying. I can't say whether it'd work for Tess or not but we do have a horse that uses it and it seems to help him. I haven't used it but it seems to work for Fio, I don't know why he has that particular bit but it works for him.

But thank you. I wasn't a big fan of the name Frankie but it is growing on me. Also neat you have a tortoise. That's not something you hear everyday :lol:
___________________________

I'm still getting to know her personality. 

I'm debating between these two at the moment. I may try her in the dynamic RS and see if she likes that. The reason I'm not jumping on the team up is because I'd like to keep my options open for possibly showing her in FEI young horse classes. I read the 12mm piece isn't legal for the young horse classes, I need at least a 14mm and I don't think the 14mm will be too big for her mouth. The team up doesn't come in a 14mm. These bits are very expensive so I don't want to buy more than one. It's not a goal but I definitely want it to be an option. I talked to my trainer about it. I said I think it's a lot to put on a young horse to aim for the FEI young horse classes and she said then think of it this way, don't aim for it but if she's there and ready for those classes then do it. 

4yr old test is like training/1st
5yr old test is like 2nd level
6yr old test is like 3rd level

NS Team Up 12mm Bradoon | Dover Saddlery

Herm Sprenger Dynamic RS Sensogan® Loose Ring | Dover Saddlery

We're still a ways away from all that, she's not even broke but I think it's a real possibility.

She got her blanket yesterday.




You can see her brother in the back ground of this one. They're best friends. He galloped around when I took her.


No babies this weekend. We have a clinic with a big eventing guy from the UK. He's competed through the advanced level and has a really good reputation. Pam used to work with him in the UK when she was eventing. And it's really amazing to hear his insight and learn from him. Very nice guy.


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## Rainaisabelle

Love the halter and blanket !


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## Ariat164

Cassssssiieeeeee!!!!???? I didn't even know you were still using this forum lol I haven't been on in forever. Love your journal! I should be a copy cat and do one too XD


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## DanteDressageNerd

Raina- Thank you. I really like it for her too!

Mikki- I don't know, we talk all the time, so I don't know how that goes. Hey sorry to interrupt this flow of conversation with an online update? That seems weird to me but as you know I'm not the person to ask about social norms and protocol. My dad says I have to learn to be human or live in fear that people will discover my true identity as an alien :lol:

And I don't know what you should do.

-Reference Mikki and I were roommates and are still best friends. We live apart now but she is the one who found me Dante and helped me get him. Then I helped her and Ari out. I rode Ari for a few months while she was gone and helped her with him. I'm hoping she moves out here when she gets out :lol: 

_______________

Clinic was really incredible yesterday. I wish I had the money to do it. I was offered a horse to ride who was schooling 3rd-4th level but with everything that's happened, I just didn't have the money for something like this. He's coming back sometime but the next scheduling is too soon to make it worth it for Frankie and I. By Nov she's still going to be too green IMO to make it worth the money but maybe a different horse I'll consider it if my classes aren't too demanding.

This weekend TONS and TONS of hw. Spent way too much time at the barn watching the clinic yesterday. It was just so incredible and he was filled with SO much good information, advice and wisdom. He's a phenomenal coach and I just loved his perspective, attention to detail and way of teaching. Sometimes he'd have people really exaggerate what they were doing wrong to show them how to do it right and show why their way wasn't the best way. 

He had a lot of good insight and even though he's primarily an eventing guy whose been on the world stage, can definitely teach a GP dressage lessons as well as any dressage exclusive rider. I was very impressed. And he's SO SO down to earth and so humble. I just love his perspective, very common sense, practical and humble but still with a sense of confidence. Very British.

We also talked about riding and methods and discussed quite a bit of that which was fascinating and I loved hearing his perspective. I agree with him though, he said the sport is constantly evolving and sometimes looking to the past for answers gets you stuck and prevents growth because you have to continue learning and growing and if you go down the wrong path, don't take it too hard and change course. You're constantly learning and adapting. I also entirely agree. When I look at inspiring rides and what I want to ride like, I can appreciate the riders of the 70s and 80s but it's definitely not what I'd aspire to ride like. The horses were tight, not over the back or really over the back. They didn't really bend in turns and just look tight and crooked. I like watching Carl Hester, Charlotte Dujardin, Hubertus Schmidt, Anna Sophie Fiebelkorn and like riders because they have the whole package.


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## Tazzie

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Katie- it's not going badly. I definitely feel in over my head sometimes with school but the horses keep me level.
> 
> Frankie is a really good girl. She definitely has some sass but she means well and I'll say I learned from Dante the importance of the right kind of mind. It's hard to know when they're so young but we'll see *Crossed fingers*
> 
> It really is. I feel like the more you know the better but you still don't know until you try them, it's a shame they're so expensive but the tech definitely seems to make a difference. Shame about having to pull out the rule book ever time you compete though, that's annoying. I know Herm Sprenger has a legal bit with a roller piece.
> 
> Me too! I'm looking forward to sitting on her for the first time and getting to know what she's like undersaddle. I can't wait until she's off the lunge line walk, trot, canter but we're a ways from that lol.


I bet they do keep you level! Especially when they are going so well 

Hey, sass is never a bad thing! Or rarely I should say :lol: mares are fun!

I know. Sadly the team up isn't one listed for trial, which sucks. Ugh. I'd really like to try it at some point. I'd like to graduate away from the roller. I don't think it'd be legal on a double. And yeah, getting out the rule book and the email from USDF EVERY time I show saying my bit is acceptable gets annoying.

Maybe just a little :lol: but it will be fun! Dying to see how you describe her gaits!

The clinic sounds amazing!! I hope next time you can borrow a horse to use. He sounds like he'd be super beneficial to learn from! Now I wish I could haul to him :lol: Nick would kill me if I asked lol


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## Ariat164

I'm probably moving with my mom for a while after I get out and I can visit!  Also there is nothing wrong with being alien! I am one too. We get probes XD


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## frlsgirl

Is it blanket weather in MO already or are just preparing for winter? I need to get Ana's blanket cleaned so that hers is ready to go when the cold hits.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I've been incredibly busy the last few days, havent had a lot of down time and didn't get much sleep. Don't have a ton of time to be on here, kinda multi-tasking.

The sleep deprivation definitely got to me yesterday. But was out with the horses until about 10. 

Dante is doing really well. I got an update on him, I guess her son loves Dante and vice versa and leads him around and grooms him and Dante gives him kiddy rides and then he's been really good for his new Mama and has a new girlfriend out in pasture. I think he's really happy. I think he is where he's supposed to be.

Frankie was lunged and started standing next to her on the mounting block, hitting the stirrups on her sides and patting her butt, the saddle, her other side, etc. She couldn't care less. Not even a little bit stressed or worried, just like eh okay. So tomorrow hopefully I'll get to put a foot in the stirrup and lean on her. I don't think I'll swing up over into the other stirrup but lean in on one stirrup, lean up so she sees me over her back. She's been really good I'm not worried but I'd rather take my time and not develop bad habits. She's 3 and hasn't had a lot done with her, so a lot of it is attention span and baby horse mentality. 

Rode Friday, he was very tricky (hadn't been ridden in 5 days) due to clinic and scheduling issues but he's very flexible in his body and so he was a little upset with me because I made him use himself and be fairly straight and work over his back. He'd get upset anytime I got his left shoulder. He wanted to lean in on in quite badly, so I just fixed it and right he tried to turn aburptly rather than with me. Contact we had to remind him because he is too light in the bridle and needs more weight in the bridle. He also tried to take off in the trot and was quite full of himself, running through the half halts so we had a few discussions about that and then after I reminded him what a half halt was he was very good but I had to stay very proactive and mindful or it went South in a split second. Did some figures of 8 in trot. I had him trot a bit too slow because it was more important he listened to me and had swing over his back then getting ideal and him losing the idea of being with the rider. With him it's mostly organization, timing and management. You do that, he's perfect. Did quite a bit of leg yield and a lot of walk, halts and asking him to sit. 

Dev didnt' get a chance to ride but lunged him and he's a bit ewe necked so it takes a bit to get him actually using his neck. can easily put his head in the right spot but getting him over his back and neck is another thing. His issue is also his left shoulder on lungeline he wants to lean badly into it and I see why undersaddle going right is to tricky because of that left shoulder. I knew that but sometimes it's nice to see what you're feeling and correlate okay this is how he naturally wants to go and how to improve it, so he's more ambidextrous. 

Clinic was AMAZING

Some discussion were a deep seat vs a heavy seat, that you don't want lightness for lightness sake (thank you) you first want them to learn how to be in the contact and let them be a little heavy before you ask for lightness. If you start with lightness first and never have a horse truly in the contact or meeting the connection lightness means nothing. A lot of it was on the quality of contact and connection and the seemless communication between horse and rider. Lots and lots of detail work and being pointed out things you hadn't thought of or heard before or things you knew and heard but with a new spin or added details. 

As a horseman, I am floored by his knowledge and skill. No wonder he's a top-world class trainer and coach.

Talked about the "super gurus" who claim to have all the answers and I love his blunt honesty, oh their crack pots a lot of them trying to re-package horsemanship or riding as something else and leading people down a path to feel enlightened or as if they have secrets no one else does but if they really were so enlightened and had such phenomenal secrets everyone would be seeking them out, rather than an obscure group of people without much background or experience looking for answers and thinking they've found them. It's the same here as over there, people want short cuts and solutions and hear so much theoretical knowledge from people without the experience they claim to have that they think they've stumbled upon a gold mine of knowledge. Or people who think they have nothing else to learn because they don't know what there is to learn. With horses, riding and especially in dressage there is always so-so-so much more to learn even about the most basic of concepts. You're never finished or done and things are always changing. 

He talked about looking to the past for answers and saying people do this and yet the answers aren't back there, it's right here and right now. We're constantly evolving and finding new roads and sometimes we go down a wrong one and have to turn back but we keep finding better and better ways to do things. Constantly evolving.

Also she's getting front shoes. I saw her move and although she has good feet, she needs the support in front. The thing about these powerful-big movers and why we put shoes on isn't that they have bad feet that will crumble. It's for the support from how they move. It's like if I don't wear my aesics and decide to go for a run. I need the support to protect my knees and hips from excess strain because I use myself so hard when I run.

This is Dev (Frankie's big brother)



Frankie in her bridle. I decided to order the Herm Sprenger Dynamic RS 14mm









With Dante's browband. In the pictures it looks nice but in person, I felt it really overwhelmed her face because she's so dark and has no markings. It's like it's all you see at a distance.





_______________________________

Katie- Yes they do and humble :lol: you can never get full of yourself riding horses, no matter how much you've learned. Literally the more you know, the more you realize how much you don't know but at the same time can't let it get in your way of learning. You do the best with what you know at the time that you know it.

Yes they are. Mares are a lot of fun. I'm just anxious to see what she's like to work with and ride, going to learn a lot more about her once that happens.

Darn. I wish you could try it. The herm sprenger dynamic RS is very similar to it. Not the same but quite similar. Maybe by the time you're looking at getting a new bit it'll be available for trial?

:lol: I'm dying to know what her gaits feel like. It'll be a while before we really get to feel them because it'll take a while to condition her and educate her but once she starts getting it then I'll get a better idea. I know Dante felt extremely fancy, even if he didn't look it. Dante felt like a mercedes, my trainer agreed. She rode him and was impressed by how fancy he felt. I don't know what Frankie will feel like.

Absolutely! That's my hope. I'm going to ride Dev next time, if it's in November. Dev is harder imo to ride than Friday but that's why I want to ride him, plus Dev has a whole nother gear/extra range of movement that I'd like to develop. Dev is one who will either look like a plain, average, unimpressive horse or an incredibly athletic, talented youngster depending on how he's ridden. I never got to see him ridden, I only saw him on the lungeline so I didn't think he was all that special until someone tried him after I rode him and I was like :eek_color: that's Dev! And to be fair he feels phenomenal, especially in those moments where you get a sneak peak of what he's developing to be. 
__________________________

Mikki- sounds like a plan! Then I can see you more than once a year! At least you'll be out soonish, so we don't have to wait too long. And I'm sure your mom will be happy to have you and your husband. 

Haha exactly!! I think you can be the missing Bernadette to our barn group. I'm Sheldon but I'm not as Sheldon-y as I used to be. You'll be proud! 
_________________________

Tanja- Definitely get the blankies cleaned! But in MO the weather is so unpredictable one day it can be 80 and the next 50, I wanted it to be prepared because the temperatures went from 90s-100s and super humid to 60s over night and I was like [email protected] winter is fast approaching and I didn't know if it'd warm up and be like fall or if we'd go straight into winter type weather and be in the 40s overnight. 

And the blanket is a little big so she can grow into it, it's not so big that I worry about her but it's big and Dante's heavy blanket was a little big for him so I think it'll fit her, even as she grows. Dev is a 78, Dante is a 75 and I can't imagine her getting any longer than that.


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## Tazzie

I love how Frankie is progressing! She's one sharp baby! The other babies sound like they are doing well too, even if it takes a bit of work to get them going.

The clinic just sounds SO awesome! Do they allow haul ins??? :lol: because now I'd love to clinic with him (which says a lot since even asking Maggy for help in the beginning terrified me (I don't like talking to people I don't know...))

Putting shoes on make sense. We would put them on if Izzie needed it, but where she is boarded isn't conducive to shoes.

I'm SOOO glad to hear Dante is happy!! That makes me happy!!

Exactly :lol: leaving Maggy's I feel like I gained a whole lot more knowledge and another view of how much I DON'T know. LOVE it!

I bet she will be a pleaser! I just see it now!

Maybe! It'll be a couple years at least. Since we aren't even ready for Second, we've got a bit :lol:

Very true. But when she's conditioned and working, I bet she's going to be a blast!!

He sounds like a cool horse!! The pictures of him and Frankie are awesome! Love those guys!


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## frlsgirl

Yeah I see what you're saying; the bright sparkly brow bank really makes it stand out against her dark coat. Maybe you can keep the bridle and just replace the brow band with one that has mare appropriate, pink crystals?


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## Tihannah

Alright Cassie, I'm going to ask the question... Are you going to start a new journal for Frankie??


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## frlsgirl

Tihannah said:


> Alright Cassie, I'm going to ask the question... Are you going to start a new journal for Frankie??


Lol, I asked her about that, too. Maybe she can just amend the title to say "Adventures with Dauntless & Frankie" :faceshot::runninghorse2:


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## Ariat164

I am proud  lol. So this means I can take you to loud rock concerts right??? XD I will give you ear muffs lol


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright update.

I've been SUPER busy this past week. Not a lot of time to be on and then this weekend, went to the show then worked horses and I'm kinda peopled out. I really enjoy the people I'm around, I just get overwhelmed and need my space even with people I really like. And I don't innately "get" people. My nickname is Sheldon. Usually that's my name when I do something really Sheldon-y.

I'm just not a people person, I'm an animal person. I get animals, they make sense, we understand each other. People I just don't get. Passive aggressive I dont deal well with at all, it either confuses me or it makes me mad, so people like that I tend to keep my distance because I dont get it. People have to be pretty straight forward/blunt with me or I dont get it. I dont really pick up on subtle things, I notice details other people dont and Im very sensitive to emotion or the vibes I get off of people but I'm socially dense. I can't really help it, I try and I've gotten better but it is what it is. Can't be what I'm not for the sake of appeasement. 

The babies have been doing very well.

Qira we're working out a new plan. Friday was a super star yesterday. He was a bit tricky but very good, I had him doing shallow loops in canter to help him move off his shoulders, get the outside rein and bend through his body. When I ride I feel more so I suggest and then enforce. I don't micromanage bits and pieces, just organize the whole body so it works together. I got lots of compliments from people who watched me ride on how soft and sympathetic a rider I am. I'm very gentle and patient which is really nice to hear sometimes. The rides weren't perfect but I felt they were very productive and on the right path. I actually kinda lost confidence in myself one ride but then I rode the other one and felt what I can do and was like oh yeah that's right, I do know what I'm doing :lol: not that I had a bad ride on Friday, I just felt like the first one wasn't as good as it could have been.

Dev and I had a conversation about his left shoulder and right hind, those are his weaknesses/crooked spots. He also doesn't like bending through the inside ribcage near his shoulder. It's complicated. He's a bit ewe necked, the secret to getting him through absolutely is not in the contact, it's in his body and moving his shoulders and rib cage to get him to unlock and engage over his topline and get the swing-suspension to his trot. His rhythm has to be just right and his body has to be organized and half halts just right to get his fancy, elastic trot. We got quite a bit of that both ways today, plus we did figures of 8 and he was MUCH more consistent about his outside shoulder and it was the first time going right, I was able to ride him long and low. So that is a really big deal because he is ewe necked, so if he's not ridden truly through and correct his head and neck just come up at you. You can't make him reach down, it has to be from his body which really is every horse but it takes more with a horse like him, so I'm super proud about that. We did transitions from trot to walk on a longer rein and he maintained his frame, no higher or lower in the upward or downward transition and was just consistent. I'd really like more weight in my reins from both him and Friday but they were really good. They were very through, over their back and I felt doing a little bit more challenging exercises really helped their over all balance and understanding. I'd like more weight in my reins but they're getting better about it and it takes horses a while to truly work out contact correctly, some more than others. They get connection but to really get the weight in the bridle takes time and patience, so lots of sending them out to meet the contact, reminding them not to get behind and sending them forward and letting them come above when they try to get behind, moving shoulders, leg yield, etc. Just lots of baby stuff to work with and training them.

Frankie has been a super star. We leaned over her today and she was a little nervous but good. She's lunging like a big horse now and in the side reins (very loose atm) and she's working that out and her own balance and where her feet are, etc. She's getting contact a little better. I really like the lungeline for babies figuring it out. That way they can just worry about themselves and figure it out in their own bodies before a rider gets involved. We've leaned on her but haven't sat on her yet. Just foot in one stirrup and up a bit with hip resting on the saddle, holding the reins and putting weight on the other side.

Frankie and her sire, she moves a lot like him. I can definitely see some of her mom in her movement too though. She has mom's hind end. Mom was a powerhouse and Frankie has that same kind of drive in her hocks and hind end. Like Dad but with that from Mom. And 50/50 mom and dad's walk atm, mom had a great walk though so it's not a bad thing. Will be neat to see how she continues to change, just amazes me her movement has already changed and she's figured out how to lift up out of her wither. It's really neat to see and be apart of. I'm so excited about sitting on her and developing her.



If I ever breed Frankie. This is a stallion I LOVE. 






Also ordered a bit which was supposed to be a 14mm and it's a 16mm, it's definitely too big for her mouth so have to get a new one. I can't get the neue schule one because they don't make a 14mm in the bit I want and it cant be smaller than a 14mm to do the young horse classes which to me is stupid because some horses have really small mouths and a 14mm is almost too big for their mouth. 12mm sits in her mouth better than a 14mm but the 14mm isnt bad. Bigger is not better, thicker is not softer in a small mouth, just puts excess pressure on the bars and palette. 

She does have her new shoes and I think that was a good decisions. She much more confident in her front end and she's such a strong mover, I think she's definitely going to need rear shoes at some point too. She has great feet but definitely will need the support as training progresses.
____________________________________

Katie- They definitely do! I love being with them and working with them. It'll make me sad when they go but I understand that's what they were bred for and that's what's supposed to happen. They need their own mommy. But they're humbling and very grounding to work with.

It really was! And yes they do allow haul ins! :lol: but he's amazing and so down to earth and practical but with a good sense of humor.

Exactly. If a horse is outside most of the time and in mud, having shoes and getting them pulled off in mud and having to hunt for shoes doesn't sound like fun. 

Me too! He's doing really well from what I've heard is settling in really well.

Absolutely! Sometimes it gets overwhelming but at the end of the day it's like "just keep swimming" just keep going and don't get too overwhelmed, just stay positive and confident. Anxiety makes it hard sometimes :lol:

I think so. She's still working everything out but she learns quickly and isn't lazy. Just tests her limits :lol: 

And it takes time to develop any horse, as you know you can't rush through stages or expect them to go like a big horse or to just know what they don't know. It takes time. 
____________________________________

Tanja- exactly. It's just too much for her face but I'd love to get pink crystals one day, I just don't know that I will for a while. I like the browband she has now. In person I think it really suits her, it'd be nice if it were the same browband but with the pink cyrstals instead. 

I don't know how to amend it but I'm good with just adding Frankie as a continuation of the journey. I don't think anybodies journey just has one horse, I think it takes many-many horses and partnerships to make a rider and tell a story.
____________________________________

Tina- As Tanja said. I think I'll figure out how to amend it at some point, I just don't know how. 
____________________________________

Mikki- NO concerts, I can get you tickets as a gift but you'll have to go without me, I can't cope. I would have a meltdown. WAY WAY too loud and too many people in too close a proximity to each other. But I appreciate you offering me some noise canceling ear muffs to help dull the noise. We need to make plans when you come into town again...in about 6-8 months :lol:


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## frlsgirl

I can relate on not wanting to bend in the rib cage by the shoulder; Ana gets really hung up on the left side; I always have to find new tricks to soften that side up and then whenever the chiro comes out, he has to work on that same area as well. I've been doing neck bending from the ground with the saddle on; you can really hear the saddle give when I move her neck so sometimes the saddle contributes to her not wanting to give up that side. Of course we also do carrot stretches without a saddle and that has helped as well.


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## Tazzie

I'm so glad the babies are doing well! And I think quite a few horses have issues giving through their ribs. I know Izzie will happily give her ribs all day long going left, but it's quite the effort to get that suppleness to the right.

Hooray for laying across Frankie! She's come so far already!

Shame about the bit though  can you return it at least?

I think @Wallaby could help with the thread title change! You'd just have to let her know what you want it to say! Only moderators can change thread titles


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja and Katie- Oh definitely I think most horses have a crookedness or tension through their rib cage, in a way I think it's a good thing it's so common and I don't think it's rider created (it can be but I think it's natural), horses naturally have a stronger and more coordinated side than the other. I think the dominances are more obvious in un-started horses than developing ones. We're all a little asymetrical but I think too tight or incorrect saddle fit makes it worse and harder to get the total bend and connection. And sometimes they pass their crookednesses to us and we can do the same to them, it's very intimate in a purely platonic way. We read each other and know each in a special way.

With Dev it's a little tricky, I have a 3 stride rule of make a correction with in 3 stride and leave them alone, make the correction and leave them alone. With him it's bringing his outside shoulder around, being sure you don't lose it which is harder than it sounds and then getting him round your inside leg and insist he bend through his shoulder. Even on video you can see it. He's very much so more coordinated to the left than right. He's a little extreme but he's loads better than he used to be. When he was first started he literally could not figure out how to bend right, I've never met one that was that left side dominant but he's gotten SO SO much better and I'm sure it wont be an issue before long.

She really has. I'm really proud of her, I wasn't expected her to be so quick about things. I knew she was smart but she's smarter than I realized.

Unfortunately I can't, I have to sell this one so now I have two herm sprenger kk ultra dynamic RS bits. I have a 5 3/4s and a 5 1/4, both 16mm :lol: I ordered another which is a 5in 14mm bit. I think the 14mm will still be a little bit for her mouth but it's the smallest that's legal for the young horse classes and I don't want to mess with that.

And okay. That sounds like a plan. I will do so at some point. I don't know when though lol.
____________________________

Actually have some riding video this time!! It's been 3 months since I've had any video at all. There isn't a lot of video. The only reason there is any is because a friend of mine at the barn tried him and took video to show her husband of what Dev looks like with a "professional" on him. She's looking to buy him and I think they'll make a good fit. I just warmed him up and she had a lesson on him. She's showing 2nd level right now, I think they'll be a good match. She understands she'll probably need to keep him in training and then take lessons on him as he improves but I think it'll be good for her and him.

Dev is Frankie's older half brother. He's by Dacaprio and a good fellow. He's tricky but his personality/temperament is excellent. It doesn't mean he can't be spooky or doesn't lose focus easily but he's a solid citizen and honestly a neat horse. He's actually about 16.2 1/2h I like riding him quite a lot. He's fun and is one who is as sensitive as you ask him to be. If you ride him like he's dull and scream aids he just tunes out vs if you ask softly and with purpose he becomes sharper and sharper, sometimes I still need to boot him or get a little strong for a reaction but I think he's one that will be as sharp as he's ridden to be or as dull as asked to be.
















Friday has also been really good. I wish I could have had video of him today. I am SO SO proud of him. He was great in all 3 gaits, definitely had to ride it and he was very angry at me when I told him we weren't going to change direction when he chooses to(I've never let him do that, I think he was testing), it took a few corrections and really bringing his outside shoulder around with good bend but it cracked me up, he was pretty determined that he could go through all my aids and just change direction when he wanted. It didnt happen and he learned to listen but it made me laugh. He was a little spooky today, I don't know what it was about. He didn't spook but he was definitely trying to. He's not a spooky horse. He's a VERY sensitive horse but not spooky. He could be trained to be spooky, tense and hot but that's not his natural character. After working through that he was awesome!! Leg yield both direction, had to tap him with the whip to really make him step over and expect more from him, the bending became smooth and effortless and his canter was really good. Very powerful and really listened, half halted and was just good. As soon as we cantered both ways and he was good we went into trot, trotted a bit, half halted, etc went to walk. Walked a few steps and hopped off. Once they've done everything I've asked. I just hop off and walk them in hand. I love Friday, he's such a clever horse. WAY too stinking smart but loves kisses. When he's in the cross ties and I cross in front of him, he'll follow me with his nose and demand kisses. LOVES nose kisses. If I could afford a 2nd horse, I'd buy him.

Qira is doing better. Poor girlie, she's a sensitive soul but we're switching some equipment around and hopefully she'll do better. The one thing I know and feel is that she really trusts me. I was with her when she was born and did all the baby stuff with her after she was born, so maybe that's why but she's a character. Very high drama mare, high anxiety personality but she's been like that since she came out of the womb. VERY talented though. I think she'll be fine once she's off the lunge line. I do well with high anxiety, hot horses but I think once she gets that confidence whether in herself or the rider she'll be fine. Just definitely lots of love and patience. Friday and Qira are half siblings.

Frankie is Qira's pasture mate but she's been so good. I am SO SO proud of her!! She's lunging much more like a big horse and she can be a little dramatic, she'll stomp down with her right front hoof like ugh this wasn't my idea starting but works out of it. She's very sensitive/responsive but she is low anxiety. She gets worried but if you tell her she's okay and it's okay. She calms down. She's a hard worker and I'm amazed by how intelligent she is. She figures things out SUPER fast and she's very powerful. I see a lot more of her Mom in her as I watch her work. She's more aware/sensitive but same work ethic. I REALLY-REALLY love her. Really a good fit for me from what I'm seeing. She also calls to me when my car drive up, I didn't know she did that but a friend told me and it kinda made feel special :lol: She is really cuddly and has a good sense of humor. She knows who her mommy is. But I leaned over her today and she was really good, I leaned and my trainer led her a few steps and she was really good. We re did it and she was really good.

I'd LOVE to be able to do the clinic with her Dec 4th but if she's not ready I'll ride Dev or Friday or somebody. I think she'll be walk, trot, canter by then but I'm not sure if she'll be able to do a 45 min clinic, that's a lot for a barely broke horse. Or I could do 1 day on her and 2 days on somebody else. IDK. I don't want to overwhelm her. She's really good but I don't like being too greedy, especially not this early on.

Measured Frankie with a measuring stick and level. She is 16.1 1/2h and she's butt high again so definitely still growing.

Blurry but she's playing with her bell boot :lol: I've been looking at her more and I can definitely see the thoroughbred. Her shoulder, wither and part of her neck remind me SO much of my old thoroughbred.



Then the dark bay girls together. Mirra, Frankie, and Qira. Mirra is just under 17.1h, Frankie is 16.1 1/2h and Qira is 16h even. Frankie is 3, Qira is 4. Mirra is 14 showing 3rd level. Mirra is stoic and the girls are silly.




This is from summer but smallest to tallest. 14.3h PSG pony, Friday 15.2h, Grover 17.1h, and Dooley 18.2h


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## Tihannah

I wish I could sit an watch an entire session of one of your rides. You're so lucky to be able to work with, train, and ride such nice horses every day. They're all simply gorgeous and I LOVE reading the breakdown of your rides and how you work with each of them differently! Can't wait to see you in the saddle with Frankie! The anticipation would be killing me if I were you! Lol.


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## frlsgirl

You and Dev look lovely together; a lot of suspension there; that's what I miss about riding Ana; little to no suspension.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- Thank you. I feel very fortunate. Part of why I moved back was specifically to train with my trainer because I looked in multiple other states to see what was out there and nobody from what I saw trained to the same detail and quality that Pam does. And the style I want to ride. I want to have a partnership where the contact is us holding hands and using my leg and body and position to create that softness. Dev and Friday are lighter in my hand than I'd ideally want but in this training style the answer isn't to shorten up but to send him forward to meet the contact and allow him to gain confidence in it and eventually he will be heavier in the contact but you have to patient. It's all about patience and riding your lines, paying attention and making your correction clear and direct, so you can leave them alone and correct again when needed and leave them alone.

But thank you. I'm anxious to actually get to ride Frankie but I'm also really patient and know it will happen one day and each day is a new mile stone. I'm really looking forward to riding her but I know being patient is best. 

Working with young horses IMO is all about patience and keeping on track. Part of why Pam chose me to ride the babies (she bred them), is because I'm very patience and soft, I have a skill set that you gain from experience and riding tricky, quirky, difficult horses. You learn things you won't from a school master. I remember when breaking one of the babies he lost his footing bucked and bolted and I just stayed glued, quiet and quickly got him back before he scared himself and Pam said and that's why you ride the babies. I don't get scared or nervous or emotional when that stuff happens and even though it's out of the blue, I'm very quiet about it and bring them back in a way that isn't abrupt and scary (it would terrify a young horse if the rider lost their balance, they literally dont know you can come off and some when they feel that change freak out but not letting them have a panic moment helps the most) but a way where they feel reassured and confident, if that makes sense. There are a lot of good riders at my barn but I don't know how to explain, some people are just good with babies and I've known a lot of riders who aren't bad riders but I would never put them on a young horse because I think the way they ride would ruin a youngster. I think that's why I do so well with hot horses with high anxiety, I get their attention and don't let them react to what's scary in a reassuring way, not a blunt or rough way so they gain confidence and trust in me vs a fear reaction to the world around them and over time when they're scared and I let them know it's okay they believe me. I guess it's tact or skill or personality or the emotion I put out, I don't know.

But I genuinely love riding the babies and being able to develop them and be apart of their beginning. 

Tanja- thank you. I love Dev, he's a good soul. He's a little dingy on the ground and I thought he was dumb but to ride he's really not at all. He's just oblivious and like a little boy with ADD, smart just not focused. But you can develop suspension with Ana, a lot of horses don't start with it but develop it. She can develop it and I'm sure her trot will be phenomenal when it happens. Dev didn't have it initially, he developed it. When he started he moved like an ottb.


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## Tazzie

Dev looks so good! I just love him! I'll be interested to see if your friend buys him. He really is a nice looking horse!

It's a shame you can't return the bit :sad: where did you buy it from?

I just love the pictures!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- Thank you. I really like him too. He's a loveable dork! I'm not entirely sure what will happen with my friend or if she'll buy him. My gut feeling is she might not be experienced enough for Dev. She's riding 2nd level and doing quite well but riding a baby successfully, even a very good one is very skill demanding. It's not like riding an older green horse, I don't know how to explain it but it's not something everyone, even good riders can do well. And he really is! I really like him, he's a fun horse and he definitely has a sense of humor :lol: he used to be super dull and has gotten sharper and more sensitive each ride. I'm proud of him. Now he's the type where if you ride him like he's dull he'll be dull and if you ride him sharp, he'll be sharp.

Unfortunately I can't because I ordered it off of ebay. So just have to sell the two bits.

And thank you! I'm a big picture person, I like creating memories!
_____________

I'm hoping this update doesn't get big but.

I rode the two boys yesterdays.

Friday was amazing! I'm SO proud of him, he definitely made me work but he was hanging more in the bit (not literally hanging but putting more weight into the bit and taking it). He became super through and up over his back, the suspension and power in his trot really came out! I was very impressed. Canter transitions were a lot crisper and he didn't pick up the wrong lead once (turn on forehand exercise has really helped this) and setting him up better in the corners. It definitely took work but we had accurate and good 15 and 20m circles in canter and then we did some shallow loops to help him and really get him to engage. I was so proud of him, when transitioning from canter to trot both way I put both reins in one hand and patted his neck through the turn and everything stayed as they should. I was so proud of him. He's such a good boy. We did some turn on the forehand stuff and that really made a difference. I only asked for a step or two both ways and that just totally changed his way of going. So cool when you feel they have an aha moment!! 

Mari (other trainer) watched us and said he looked super and really-really good which is a big deal to me because Mari is blunt and wont compliment to flatter, only if she means it and that made me smile. I'm really excited because I've improved so much and the babies are improving that I feel like we're all in it together. I'm giving them their education and they're giving me one.

Dev was also really good. We walked for a while, while a friend was practicing for her first PSG test! I'm so incredibly excited for her. Their changes were on point, canter piroettes had improved a ton, they went down a long side doing 3 tempis then extensions, etc and it was just really awesome to see. She has a paint/cob pony and has done a really incredible job with him. When he first came he moved so up and down and stabby and now there is real fluidity in his changes and he really engages behind and over his back now. Super cool to see the changes. She earned her bronze and 4th level scores on him and he was off for almost a year and brought him back about 6 months ago, so I'm just excited for them.

But riding Dev was pretty good. Starting out because he'd been ridden by someone else, he had temporarily forgotten how to half halt, acted like he was spooky (he's not spooky, couldnt focus, forgot how to steer properly, took a lot of counter bend, true bend, counter bend, straight, true bend, counter flexion and leg yield steps to get him to meet the connection. He just wanted to hollow his neck back up at me and I was like no you have to look for it, you have to reach for it. Re-taught him to respect my aids. He acted like he was dull and ignoring my aids, then I had to remind him. He thought he could stop anytime he needed to fart or poop. When he did that I literally cow boy kicked him and spanked him with the whip quite a few times and he didn't respond so I put both reins in one hand and whacked him as hard as I could and he responded, he can get that dull and I don't want him to ever be that kind of horse. After addressing that issue, he was responsive and soft again, just had to exaggerate the basics before he was back to the Dev I know. After the warm up which was rough and took a lot out of me, honestly he was the best he's ever been. He was the most through, engaged and reaching into the bit. I felt more weight and could actually half halt and get more swing and suspension. It was really good. His canter transitions were very good.

Also had the discussion with Mari of I just remembered why professionals have their own horses. People would ask me why, if I have all these babies to ride, why I have one of my own as well and the reason is because then I can ride my horse how I want them to ride. I can make them as sharp and sensitive as I want and I don't have to correct anybodies mistakes but my own and I don't have to re-school them every time I get on, after their owner has ridden them. And the other reason is because I want to keep developing these horses and have a real bond and partnership with them for years to come. I can't do that with a horse that isn't mine, they'll move on and go else where but with my own I can develop her up the levels, put her on what supplements she needs, have her see chiropractor, do massages on her or whatever and whenever I want without needing permission or someone else to do it. 

Plus Frankie is taking after me. Her inner dork is definitely coming out and everyone is blaming me :lol: she wasnt like that before you got her and I was like I'm just allowing her to be her most authentic self. She has good manners but she's very playful, tons of personality.


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## frlsgirl

DanteDressageNerd said:


> ....took a lot of counter bend, true bend, counter bend, straight, true bend, counter flexion and leg yield steps to get him to meet the connection. He just wanted to hollow his neck back up at me and I was like no you have to look for it, you have to reach for it. .


I've been doing the bend, counter bend, straight thing with Ana in the warm up because it really helps me get a good connection going. The downside to this is that she's memorized it and starts offering bend left, bend right even when I don't ask for it which makes it look like she's drunk! :grin:


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## Tazzie

That's a shame  I'm sure she'll find something else that is better suited though! And yeah, babies are certainly not easy. Definitely not for everyone.

Ah, I understand now! That kind of sucks, but what can ya do? I'm sure you'll sell it quick.

Me too!

I'm glad the boys did so well! Well, at least after you got Dev thinking again! They just sound so nice, and I know Dev looked really nice in your video!

That's funny about Frankie :lol: I love personable horses!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- They definitely can figure out some tricks. They're clever animals. I know Friday tries that sometimes and looks drunk a few steps and I'm like no we're not playing that game. Just go forward and he gets a little huffy about it, like I called him out on what he thought would be his latest and greatest trick. He'll also try one where he tries to go through the outside shoulder and won't turn but I counter flex and make him turn and he is very displeased with that :lol: and then he's like fine I guess I steer. Horses are very smart.

My friends PSG horse they went through the test once and he had it completely memorized! They're very smart.
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Katie- I think so. I don't think at this point in her training or his it would be best. It's not easy to take a horse whose never shown before to a show, no matter how excellent their temperament is. Dev's only real flaw is his attention span, especially when distracted or nervous so the rider's timing has to be really exact to keep his attention and keep him relaxed/focused. His personality is a lot like a 7yr old boy. 

Exactly. You just go with it. I'm waiting on my new one to arrive lol. Still a little upset that the young horse classes won't allow a bit smaller than a 14mm. I'm just like what about the horses with a small mouth and low palette? That's not fair. 

Thank you. I love both boys. I love all the babies to be honest :lol: Frankie is obviously my favorite but I love them all for different reasons. We have 7 :lol:

Me too. She has a full personality and is just super silly but all business when she goes to work.
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Update:

Rode Friday and Dev yesterday and I will ride them again today.

They were both pretty good but definitely they took a LOT out of me to ride. Dev had no attention span and it took everything I had to ride him, LOTS and LOTS of focus and keeping on top of stuff because if I was a millisecond off, I lost the throughness and depth of his back. He was really good and his gaits have changed a TON. He's developing a ton more power and swing. I've been sitting a long side or short side in trot to help him. He gets more swing and more through after I've sat trot, then I post again because I don't feel comfortable sitting too much on a 4yr olds back. Just enough to get more swing, impulsion, use of the back and then post again. Worked quite a bit on right bend and getting true right bend. Did a bit of shoulder fore and leg yield and counter flex, straight, true bend, etc and sending him out to meet the contact because with him, the only way to get him to relax and "hang" in the bridle is through lateral movement. Did a bit of really activating his inside hind and sending him into the outside rein half halt which made a big difference since he's now strong enough to do it. It was really just upping our expectations and the quality of his way of going. The more developed they become, the more tools you need in your tool box.

Friday had a bit of a tude yesterday. I think the saddle is pinching him (is too tight through his withers), so I'm going to put my trilogy on him which is a lot wider. Only problem is I need the flocking in the rear panels to be reflocked so it's flat vs curved (Debbie curved the flocking for Dante) but I'm having it looked at soon. But he was really good. Took a TON of riding and a lot of work. He had some drunk moments warming up and tried to act like he was spooky and difficult which he's really not. I think he just had a baby day and we had to work through those issues. We had a lot of really good work, the warm up just took a lot of riding and working through stuff. I did a bit of sitting trot on him to get his head in the game because he honestly took a lot out of me but he was fabulous in the end.

Both boys have excellent temperaments but I'll say Friday is ridiculously smart and I'll say there are thing about riding him that remind me a lot of Dante because he's that kind of smart. Frankie is very smart but not like Dante or Friday, they're too smart for their own good imo.

Lots of projects and homework coming up with my classes, finished off midterms. Definitely on the uphill slope with homework.

I'm lunging Qira but we haven't had much time for her this week and I got to sit on Frankie the other day. She was really good about it but she definitely doesn't know what to do with my weight and trying to balance me. She's also becoming a bit to clingy, so I'm having to be a bit more formal with her because she is too in your pocket and as she's 3, I definitely don't want her to develop bad manners. She's a little obnoxious. She isn't like that with anyone else but she's kinda possessive. I stepped to the side of her in the cross ties and she moved her shoulders over, so that her shoulders were touching me. She didn't do anything beyond that just she had to be touched me in some way and I'm kinda teaching her about personal space. 

She's 16.1 1/2h right now and Pam thinks she's going to be 17h when she's done. I've had a 17h horse and I had a few 17.2h horses I was working and size worries me a little because when they're too big they tend to be prone to more soundness and health issues. If she gets that big, I hope she doesn't grow too fast but she's put on a lot of height in a short amount of time. I know she's definitely still growing. I have a pretty long leg but Frankie is definitely going to be substantial, I hope I don't look like a peapod on her when she's done :lol: Her brother is pretty lean/thoroughbredy in type but I think she's going to be pretty big bodied.

Can you tell she loves me? I look awkward but Im pretty awkward.









My stirrups were way too long in this but oh well. We have her in the wintec for breaking atm. A friend of mine is a saddle fitter and very good, so I was going to have her re flock my saddle to fit Frankie. The tree is designed for a horse with her type of back. The thing this picture shows me is she has a lot of growing to do.



Qira and Frankie at dusk



Frankie's grandsire was 17.2-3h, her sire is 17h and her dam is 16.2h. I don't know much about her maternal grandmother, except she was a thoroughbred. I see a lot of her mom in her and a lot of her dad.

Also shared a lot of my grooming and tack cleaning hacks to a friend. She was stunned her bridle that was turned brown and lost it's shine and wasn't super supple I showed her a few hacks and returned it's color (murphy's oil soap with a toothbrush and scrub for a deep clean to get the dirt up and restore shine, wipe off with towel), smartpak saddle cleaner/conditioner (leave on) and trilogy lederbalsm. Then for the herm sprenger bits herm sprenger diamond paste, let it sit on for a few minutes, scrub, rinse and then scrub with toothpaste and they'll look brand new. Also the shampoos and conditioners for horse's coat and tail. I LOVE the corona shampoo mixed with a tea tree oil shampoo. That's my favorite, conditioner is a human conditioner but get color protector or anything that's a really deep strengthening/hydrating conditioner to keep tails full and the hair strong, easy to brush through.


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## Tazzie

Aww, that's a shame. But better to not get overhorsed. That'd be bad.

Boys sounded tricky! Glad you got them worked through!

I'm SO excited you got to sit on Frankie! But I agree. She looks like she has more growing to do for sure!

Glad you got to help your friend with restoring her leather


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## frlsgirl

She's so pretty in pink! 

I'm interested in one of your hacks; I was trying to clean my Herm Sprenger KK Ultra Sensogan bit; I've had Ana using it for less than a year and it looks like it's 10 years old - totally discolored and scratched up! I will need to invest in the diamond paste if you think that would help? Thanks.


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## DanteDressageNerd

For sure. I don't know what will happen, horse/rider combinations are hard to pick but maybe they might yet be a good fit? I don't know. The only thing I know about living anymore is I don't know an awful lot and sometimes what you think isn't right ends up being it, so I dont know :lol:

They were. Dev was more tricky today than yesterday but for different reasons. he was a good boy. I have nothing bad to say about his temperament. He is a really good 4yr old youngster. His body makes things challenging if that makes sense?

Thank you. I'm SO excited for when I get to walk out on the lunge line and then eventually trot and canter. I'm so excited about the possibility of riding her. I don't know what will happen this next week, can't force progress but my trainer is also leaving sometime in November, so my hope is Frankie will be mostly broke or broke by the time she leaves. She's a good girl, she doesn't always know the answer but she tries.

And yes! I love making things pretty and making things that on first glance seem like a lost cause and you can make beautiful and in good condition again.

__________________________________

Tanja- Definitely the herm sprenger paste is worth the investment. If you wash your bit off so no grass, food, etc is on it (I'm really picky about hosing mine off after every use) and once in awhile I'll rub a coat of herm sprenger paste (when bit is dry) and let it sit while I clean tack, then I come back wet my tooth brush and scrub the bit with a tooth brush. If the bit is REALLY bad, it may take 2 scrubs but it works really well. Then I use toothpaste to scrub is after and it cleans up the rest. 

_________________________________

Not going to give a huge update. Been running around all day. Rode the two boys and lunged the two girls. Really hoping I don't have 5 horses to work over winter, that would be too many. 

Frankie was a good girl. She usually has no trouble with her leads, she eventually got them when I helped her. Just remember she's a 3yr old, unbroke. I had to trot with her a bit to help her get the idea. It's not chasing, it's to help her figure it out. 






Dev (Frankie's half brother). Right is definitely his harder direction. The reason I was giving one rein then the other is because in canter he was getting stuck back at me with his neck and sometimes that really helps to get them to reach forward but you can't give too much with both reins, that will upset or make a lot of young horses VERY insecure and worried. I think he was better yesterday, today I think he was body sore from yesterday and I was being a bit sloppy but I do like having video of myself without an instructor, so I can look at the things I need to work on and habits I've made without an instructor telling me. Dev is 16.2h, I just have a long leg.

But I like them because I can definitely see my mistakes and without my instructor telling me. I knew I was having a hard time today getting him to really reach through and no lengthening the rein and losing contact will make it worse, say as shortening the rein. If I choke him with the rein he'll never learn to reach and if I never take contact he will simply carry with a braced neck. He needs a contact to reach into, in order to get him to take the contact down which I got some but it was hard yesterday and that's kinda how it is with babies. Dev is very well meaning and I think he did his best and I did mine, it's not perfect but he's 4 and truthfully we've come a LONG way.





















And Friday was awesome! I had probably our best ride yesterday. We switched saddles because he was filling in so much at the wither that he's almost Dante wide. We found out my saddle is likely an extra wide, not a wide. But he was stellar, wish I had video of Friday. He was pretty pleased with himself :lol:


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## frlsgirl

Looking good! Your rising trot seat is perfect; I've always hated my rising trot seat and nobody has been able to figure out why it looks so awkward. 

Frankie is so funny "but I don't wanna canter momma! Don't I have a pretty floaty trot? " lol.


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## Tazzie

Everyone looks so good! Frankie is such a nice mare! I'll be super exciting whenever you do get her going  and those were baby mistakes. No one should fault ANY of that lunging! It looked good!

Dev is a nice looking boy too! I'm glad you at least had someone willing to film for you!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- thank you. I get drilled a lot on my position, my shoulders and elbows are something I'm really working on. Plus sometimes I'll have my outside rein higher than my inside, especially right. And raising them a little bit.

I don't know about the posting trot, I know if you have a saddle that is too deep or rocks side to side it can definitely affect posting trot *shrugs*

And she does. She usually offers to canter but I think she might be a bit sore from having to carry herself so differently from what she's used to. Conditioning is hard and I'm really glad we're taking our time breaking her because it takes so much time to condition them and get them in shape/balanced enough to carry themselves, let alone a rider. 

____________ 

Katie- Thank you. Me too I'm really looking forward to being able to ride her. We have a VERY long road ahead of us. LONG way to go but I'm so eager to be on the journey and do it together. And thank you. I do my best. She's very green on the lungeline, so sometimes I go all the way around the arena to help her stay out on the line but still constantly keep her looking in. and keep her rhythm regular and let her find her balance. She doesn't understand enough to leg yield on the lunge line or move her shoulders or hind end while on the line. She can at walk but at trot and canter I don't bother because she's still learning how to go forward and need to find her own balance.

Me too. The only reason I have those videos is because the videos were to show her husband how Dev moves with me on him. I didn't know that was going to happen :lol: but I said sure. I know it wasn't going to be our best ride because we worked through quite a bit the day before but it was productive. 
____________

With him it gets tricky because he naturally wants to brace up with his neck and as a rider you're constantly trying to send him forward and have to move his shoulders around to get him to reach through his entire neck and even then he only does for a bit (but he's able to do it for longer and longer). Like counter flex, send forward into contact and true bend and not staying on his case but letting him work it out. You cant just ask him to bend more or he entirely loses his shoulders, nor can you keep him counter flexed or he doesnt learn to bend. Like on circles doing a few leg yield steps or trying for some shoulder fore positioning and it'll be there for a few moments and then it'll go back. It's getting better and better and he's carrying himself better and better, just takes patience. Another thing is not getting ran off with, with him dragging on his front end which he really wanted to do. So rhythm to keep the swing over his back and suspension, asking him to sit, etc. He's gotten a lot better and I've gotten better about riding him but for example he couldn't really bend through his whole body right just a few weeks ago and now he has more and more moments of being correctly bent, reaching through his whole neck, and being in balance. I worked a TON on getting him to bend right this weekend, so we did make some sacrifices but he has to learn to do it (as a baby he literally couldnt bend right). Lunging right he'd turn his head left, it took a lot to get him to bend right at all. You can't make him reach, it's a lot like a Frisian neck, encourage him to seek and take the contact. Put him in the best position to do so.

Temperament/personality wise he's very agreeable. He's easily distracted but he means well and definitely tries but you have to be certain of what you want and tell him the direction and help him figure it out without holding together. He'd move poorly if I tried to hold him together. The suspension is from the forward energy and half halts.

I'm explaining this because it's not


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## DanteDressageNerd

Short update. Honestly don't have much time.

I have a few videos of me riding Friday. He was a good boy. The saddle doesnt fit quite right. It fits his shoulder but the flocking is still banana shaped for when it was flocked for Dante, so hopefully I can get that fixed soon. My friend is a saddle fitter and works for Trilogy, so she'll fix it soon (I hope). Friday is 15.2h he was restarted this summer. He's a good guy. I really like him a lot, sweet as can be. Very sensitive and intelligent. Such a smart guy. A couple years ago, I got to ride his sire which was really nice. I see more of his mom's movement in him. He actually has 4 tall white stocking and a blaze. 
















I don't know when I'll be on next. I have a TON to work on over the next few days. Lab, programming project and Law exam.


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## frlsgirl

Very lovely @DanteDressageNerd. His name is confusing though, when you write "I rode Friday on Saturday"...I'm like huh? Oh yeah, that's the name of the horse. I'm assuming he was born on a Friday? Surely that's not his registered name?


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## Tazzie

I really think you ride him well, Cassie. I know you're a bit hard on yourself, but you guys look great! I really like him!


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## PoptartShop

Love the videos. That's awesome your friend is a saddle-fitter! Comes in handy!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- thank you  and yes his name is Friday. That year the foals were named Friday and Saturday after the days they were born (trust me I tried to get them REAL names) but Friday and Saturday stuck. After that the babies have all had real names but no those are not their registered names, just barn names. I can't remember their registered names but they're good kids. 

I have a bunch of horse kids, even though only one is actually mine but I was apart of picking stallions, apart of looking after the mares, bringing up the babies, and breaking/riding them. 
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Katie- Thank you Katie. My anxiety has been really-really bad this week. No elaboration, it's just totally shot my confidence, security and self esteem. I'm emotionally/mentally not in a good place but I'm working on it and I know this is not forever. This too shall pass.
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Poptartshop- Thank you. And yes. I really value my friend, she's a good friend of mine. We can talk about anything without judgement, we just understand each other. But she's really good at what she does and constantly improving. I like her because she honors her word, is respectful of people's budgets and isnt a saleman. She has real skill and competence, without the show boating and lies. I know a few saddle fitter who are entirely incompetent but excellent saleswomen.
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Update. Frankie is now out on the lungeline undersaddle, both ways. She's been great! I'm so proud of her. Her personality is really starting to come out and she is DEFINITELY demanding and DEFINITELY a diva but she is a good girl. She threw her first shoe today, so no riding and she has tomorrow off but is getting her shoe back on. Also getting new bell boots, I'm returning the late pair because they started shredding within a week of use and getting the pull on bells boots. She has quite the over track. 

We're trying to work out a better saddle fit for Dev, so I'm hoping he does better with a better fitting saddle. Friday is a happy boy too. Good boys.

I gave a kids lesson with my trainer's help, I was not expecting that but I learned a lot in that experience. Ive taught lessons before but not to a kid. She was great though and did great!

I'm very ashamed of myself because I'm struggling pretty badly with mental health stuff. I have a good support network and the people around me are very understanding, so I'm fortunate but it's definitely affecting me. My father urged me to communicate with my Professors and let them know what's going on but I hate doing that. It's true but people see it as an excuse because they don't understand or haven't experienced it. People care whether you do or don't, they don't care that you're mentally shutting down and get into such a state of panic that you can't breathe and your brain shuts down. Ive been clinically diagnosed with aspergers, ADHD, anxiety and depression, I would not wish what I go through on ANYBODY and I've kinda given up on trying to explain myself because the truth is people dont care. They don't want to understand. They just want to hear what they want to hear, believe what they want to believe and not see from anyones perspective but their own and that's human I guess. It also why I don't debate hardly at all anymore, it's a bunch of he said/she said type stuff with no discussion of the issues, facts or asking the question of what is best, just people blindly sticking to whatever they believe without research or ever listening to understand. They listen to the extent it serves them, so I just find arguing pointless. 

I want to be understood but in all honesty in general people dont care (it's not a bad thing, it's just reality). You can't expect people to understand what they've never experienced or dealt with. People are different, they expect different thing, communicate and express emotions differently. It doesn't make them better or worse, just different. A big problem in this world is people assume everyone is the same and that's simply not true. Sometimes people aren't better or worse, simply different.

In all honesty I spend most of my time alone and away from people, just because I feel at peace that way. I like listening, a lot of the time I just listen. You learn a lot that way and pick up on things when you really pay attention that are easy to miss.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Forgot to add these pictures last night but I was pretty tired and honestly I have WAY too much on my plate to be on atm but trying to calm down.

The three amigas



Riding pics









Friday


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## frlsgirl

Fantastic pictures Cass! And I love the one that you picked as your new profile picture. The mares; isn't it funny how they stick together?


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## Tazzie

I'm so glad Frankie is doing well! I'm sure she enjoys having a job!

Sorry to hear about what you're going through :sad: I hope you feel better.

The pictures are great! Everyone is looking great!


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## knightrider

Cassie, so sorry things are rough for you right now. I hope they improve . . . and soon!

I read a book that I ordered through the library. If I owned it, I would mail it to you. I imagine you don't have time to read for pleasure, but I thought of you so many times while enjoying this book. It was recommended in Horse Illustrated magazine, so I ordered it from the library. It is called _Ambition_ and the author is Natalie Keller Reinert. The main character is not all that much like you, but a few things are. Her whole life is eventing, which you used to do. Some of the things you say are the exact same things that the main character in the story says. It's such a great book, if you get a chance to order it from your library. It is ironic that it takes place in Ocala, Florida and they even mention Ft. White in the book, which is a tiny town near us . . . but to get the book, my library had to order it from South Dakota!!!!! You'd think a story located in Ocala would be in our library, especially a really good story.

I haven't had a chance to read anything much of Horse Forum for a while. I was camping with the horses for a week, and got home to an eye infection in our pony which had to be treated hourly, even through the night. We saved the pony's eye, and I finally got the camping stuff cleaned and put away, so have a minute for Horse Forum.


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## PoptartShop

Great shots! Everyone looks fantastic. I am really sorry to hear that...mental health is very difficult to deal with.  Hang in there girly! *hugs* 
I hope you feel better!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Update is longer than I expected, I tried to make it quick and it went long. I will keep back up on everyone's journals when I'm feeling better. I just wanted to let everyone know I'm fine, I'm still going through the motions and dealing with stuff but it's going to be okay. I'm getting treatment and I feel very blessed to have the support from my friends, family and even my CompSci professor for understanding. It was getting to the point where I couldn't function, I'm not quite right but there's hope. With God anything is possible. I have a lot of hard work ahead of me to overcome this and I know if I don't REALLY-REALLY want it, I won't be successful. Good thing is I'm stubborn and strongly motivated because I want to be totally functional and independent. The reason I'm being open/honest about it is because there is such a strong stigma against mental health issues and a lot of it, I think is from ignorance and fear. But you know there are some truly great and remarkable people whose character was shaped by their mental illness and that makes me feel inspired. Winston Churchill and Abraham Lincoln struggled with mental illness and I think it was the making of them and what made them great. I think you learn a true sense of humility and have to let go of pride and really ground yourself in what is real.

I never want to live life as a victim or blaming others for my life choices, I want to be proud of the person I see when I look in the mirror. I refuse to be toxic or to fill my head with toxic thoughts about myself or others and to avoid those who make villains of friends. I don't think people suck but I do think there are a lot of people with such an inward focus that they never once look out to others. I think people expect so much of others, yet never consider their own actions. Just blame, point fingers, etc and I honestly think that is very limiting. Every new challenge and new experience is an opportunity to see things in a new light or grow in some way, become a better person each day. I should start reading the Bible more.

Im definitely becoming more aware of my autistic tendencies and I've kinda gotten to a point where I don't feel I should have to explain myself to anyone anymore. I'm tired of feeling guilty or bad about myself because I don't fit into the little pegs and circles people expect me to fit in. I try and I've worked incredibly, ridiculously hard to be as "normal" and "high functioning" as I am and I have a lot more work to do but I'm tired of being made to feel as though I'm less because I don't understand the things most people do. But when it comes to matters of the brain, I feel like most people expect people to fit into a pre-set arrangement of cookie cutter cut outs and when you don't fit into any of those molds they don't know what to do with you, so they discard you. 

I've havent done a lot with the horses. 

We finally have a saddle that fits Dev and he's a TOTALLY different horse but in the saddle I rode him in, in the video he really felt tight and not as good as he can be. He was very good today, much better. 

I also got to trot on Frankie for the first time today, she felt amazing! and super confident about things. She's a very willing, quick to learn partner. She's VERY smart and doesn't get overwhelmed or upset about hardly anything. I was SHOCKED, a horse in the arena spooked at something while I was on her and Frankie looked but didn't do a thing. I was SO impressed, she's not broke. I don't have hardly any buttons but she was so solid about it all. She definitely has opinions and does express them but in a polite way. I'm really looking forward to our journey together. I'm looking forward to this weekend when I can spend more quality time with her. 

Also been getting back into economics and studying social dynamics and shifts in culture. The other thing I'm really working on in self confidence and a belief in myself that is severely lacking. I've been looking a lot at people who inspire me and who I want to be like.
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Tanja- thank you  I really like it too. And it is! The girls all seem to love each other. DeNira is Qira's mom, so DeNira, Qira, and Frankie are all together.
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Katie- Thank you  I'm pretty proud of her. I'm not sure how she feels about having a job but she doesn't seem to hate it. She seems happy to have a person though!

And yeah, it's not good but I think me breaking down was necessary. I'm not out of it yet but I'm in better shape then I was.
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knightrider- thank you  And that's funny that the library had to special order a book all the way from SD for you to read it in Florida but it sounds like a really good book. I honestly can't say for sure that I'll get to it but it does sound like an inspiring book! Thank you for telling me about it.

I'm glad your pony is okay, poor guy :-( but I'm glad you were able to save his eye! But the camping trip sounds amazing! I can only imagine.
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poptartshop- thank you  I'm doing better, I'm not out of the woods yet but I'm coping/managing better. I'm not really a hugger but *hugs back* and I won't hyperventilate :lol:


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## frlsgirl

Glad things are going so well with Frankie! 

Also happy to hear that you are on the mend; I have anxiety and I'm also very driven and motivated so sometimes it's hard to differentiate if my anxiety is making me so persistent and motivated or if my natural persistence/motivation is causing me anxiety? Chicken or the egg? lol. People get annoyed with me sometimes because I like to check things and then check them again and then check again; my friend was organizing an appointment with the equine osteo and I kept texting her every day asking if she had heard anything yet. I use a lot of "filler" words to make my persistence seem less annoying like "Hi, I'm just checking in with you to see if by any chance you have heard back from Kim?" when I really just needed to say "Any news?" I'm the same way with farriers, saddle fitters, the barn manager, etc. so I try to be as quiet as a mouse when I'm at the barn because I assume everyone is avoiding me because I've annoyed the crap out of them, lol. I also have a certain way of tightening my girth; it takes longer but it's more comfortable for the horse so when I see others do it the "wrong" way (not my way lol) I cringe.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you Tanja. I'm really proud of her. She's my rock at the moment. She's giving me a lot of hope and something to look forward to each day. We have a long road ahead but trotting is a start. We did some more trot yesterday and started posting and she was really good, it made her a little nervous so I'd sit some, post some, sit some, post some (pretty normal with breaking process). NEVER start posting on a horse who has never trotted with a rider before, sit a bit and when they're comfortable post a few steps, sit again, post a few steps sit again and let them decide when they're confident in that. She's a quick learner though, so we definitely don't want to make her bored and she has a dramatic foot stomp that is pretty cute when she protests. It's very polite though, like I have an opinion and making sure you know it but I'll try. 

But thanks. I think it's really hard when youre a driven, motivated person and have anxiety. It makes it 10x worse but I entirely understand the chicken and egg argument of what came first and "caused" it, it's so hard to say. I also understand the anxiety of are people simply tolerating me or do they actually care about me? Can I say this or will this tick people off and push them farther away? Should I say anything or stay quiet? It's frustrating and definitely the OCD and perfectionism seems to come along with the anxiety and all the internal pressure :lol: anxiety is pretty powerful but I think it's funny that it irritates you when people dont do it the "right" way. I get like that too, so sometimes I just can't look lol.
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I've started the medication and I can't tell if it's helping yet or not but I feel "calmer." I'm also starting some exercises to work on other skills. I've been so shut off, I'm trying to gradually get myself functioning again. Im taking it slow but I'm also working on different life skills and things to help and I stop when I get too on edge and take a moment to acknowledge what's going on and calm down. There are a lot of little things I'm working on and addressing. Re-training my brain, forming new habits, addressing thoughts and coping mechanisms that aren't productive and replacing them with better ones. "Watch your thoughts, they become words, watch your words, they become actions, watch your actions, they become your habits, watch your habits, they become your character, watch your character for it becomes your destiny" kind of stuff. Easier said than done but I don't want a repeat. I'm strong and I'm feisty, I was respected for my leadership ability and I have not lost what I was. I'm still a Marine and I always will be. I don't remember a lot of people out there in 7 degree weather, hugging their M16 in their sleeping bag for a 4hr night sleep to go on a 10mi hike carrying 80lbs of gear. When push comes to shove, I keep going.


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## Tazzie

I sure hope you start feeling better soon, Cassie  how scary. I really hope the medication helps out and your brain training works.

Frankie sounds like such a smart pony  I just love her! You've really come a long way with her already and it's a real treat to watch!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you Katie. I think the medication is starting to help. I'm doing better, when I started the meds it put me on a roller coaster of anxiety to depression and now it seems to be leveling out but so hard to say this early in the game. But the brain training is the big one and re-conditioning my brain and reactions. I will say this experience has shown me how influential chemicals are, along with brain structure. I have a project I'm working on (for myself) of the different parts of the brain, what they're responsible for and which part of the brain (along with chemicals) are responsible for things like anxiety, depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, etc. And also how autism affects the brain, what parts are affected and then key differences between male/female brains and how an asperger brain is different than an autistic brain. This is going to be a little bit of a project and take some time but I want to understand. I think it'll be good to know. 

Big thing I'm working on right now is confidence building and keeping a structured schedule with clear objectives to meet each day. Writing them out and keeping organized and meeting small goals.

But Frankie really is. I feel so fortunate to have her, she really has the personality I need. She's smart and sensitive but very calm and even tempered about everything. She learns quickly and has opinions but is very polite about them and is just sweet as can be. She's all around a good girlie. And thanks. I'm really happy with our progress too, a big part of it is Frankie's trainability and intelligence. She doesn't get too flustered, just show her what we want and she gets the idea with in a ride. She's doing a lot more trot now, we're positing and she's been really lovely about it. Working into the contact, meeting the connection, rhythm is getting more consistent and she doesn't really steer but she's doing better and gaining confidence/balance. She's still not super coordinated but she's doing great for an unbroke 3yr old!


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## frlsgirl

Meds are tricky; I've tried so many over the years. Some of them literately felt like goose bumps in my brain; really strange sensation; others just made me feel crazy; I think most of those were classified as SNRI's - I do best on a very low dose of SSRIs. There have been times where I thought I could stop SSRIs altogether and then found myself sitting in the parking garage crying because I saw a dead squirrel on my way to work. I just get so upset over seemingly little things; I kept playing different scenarios in my brain of how the squirrel died and how horrible that must have felt. So yeah, I know better than to go off the meds again. Plus there is the initial loading phase where your body is trying to adjust itself to the meds; it always made me feel so disconnected; like I was watching a movie and my life wasn't really my life, if that makes sense? Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I get it and I'm glad you are over the initial roller coaster phase.


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## Tazzie

That is an interesting side project to take on! I hope it gives you a better understanding of it all! *fingers crossed* the meds help though!

Scheduling and planning sound like a good idea and will keep you focused throughout the day.

I'm so glad Frankie is going so well and she's just what you need! She seems like such an honest horse. Gives you a rock right now, which is good  she's a good mare!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Didn't update earlier, I had stuff to work on and then I've gotta go after I type this up.

Tanja- Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm not super familiar with the medication side but I'm gradually getting onto zoloft which I read is an SSRI. So far it's helping, I feel a lot more level and not so neurotic about everything. But figuring out which meds work best can be tricky, I know I've taken stuff I had to quit because it made me so depressed and on edge but when the combination is right it seems to make a world of difference in ways I didn't even realize. But thank you for the support and understanding, I really appreciate it. Anxiety can really be crippling and I'm so sorry your anxiety can upset you so badly (when not medicated), I entirely understand that. I don't get quite the same but I have cried because I ran over a squirrel and the only thing that comforted me was that I tried not to hit him and he died quickly. If innocence suffers, that really upsets me if I think about it too much.

I also used to be kinda anti-meds but now I'm seeing the difference it's making. I think sometimes we have to kinda hit bottom to realize we really do need it.
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Katie- I think so. So far I'm enjoying it, it just helps me so I understand what's going on. It's going to be time consuming but I think it'll be worth while. And I really hope they continue to help, so far I feel much more able to cope with things. I'm still on half a dose but I feel a lot less anxious, nervous about simple things and not so erratic and up and down as I was when I was on a quarter dose.

Definitely. I REALLY need to learn to structure and organize, it's a weak spot of mine. I'm not very organized :lol: but I'm hoping it'll help with the ADHD and anxiety. A lot of managing skills!

Me too and exactly!! She's really what I need at this point. I've ridden so many tricky, difficult, quirky, nervous/hot horses that it's time I have something where I can re-train better habits, build confidence and progress up the levels. And also focus more so on me because with her I know it's me, yes she's young and doesn't know but anything she does wrong is on me and I like that. It lets me focus on me becoming better without trying to navigate and disable a bunch of bombs or trying not to set one off. She's very sensitive and responsive but in a listening way, like if I post too heavy or not perfectly in balance she loses her rhythm, balance, etc (baby stuff) but she's good, works into the contact, keeps a good rhythm for a baby, and she tries, doesnt tune out or quit. Just is like okay. Very soft as she should be. She's very honest and I'm so excited for our journey together! Super early in the journey but I'm excited! Her trot feels amazing! She's very smart, she figures things out really quickly and I could see her getting irritated if drilled too much. She's more like I got it, let's go.
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Been struggling some with Dev, working with saddle issues and finding what works and Pam (my trainer/his owner) rode him yesterday, so she could feel what's going on and address them, then I got on and felt what she did differently and it was definitely ugly to start with. She really worked through some tough stuff and I could see why I was struggling so much and she's obviously WAY WAY better than I am and showed me what I was doing wrong. 

I ride hot, sensitive a lot better, my natural tendency is to be very soft and gentle without pressure and with Dev I need to be much more pro active and less passive. I need to up my game and expectations quite a bit and I have to remind myself I'm more than capable of doing that. I lose confidence easily and I really try to be correct but then I get intimidated by not wanting to boil the pot over and really addressing issues head on and that's something I need to be better at doing. Dev was lovely after, I REALLY had to ride it so it wasn't like Pam got on and it was fixed. It was she got on, showed me what I needed to do, worked through some rough patches and by teaching Dev, taught me what I needed to do by feel. I learn by feel. I'm a very sensitive rider which I think it part of the aspergers but very sensitive.

Frankie has been really good, she was spooky yesterday. When she's so quiet and laid back is when she's spooky I found out. When she's alert she's fine but when she's kinda sleepy is when anything seems to set her off. She's a REALLY REALLY good girl, so far she's been very honest. She's very sensitive which is what I like to ride but she has a good mind. 

She's definitely growing. I think she's about 16.2h now and she's definitely gotten longer. She's looking more mature to me. The filly born the same year as her, we're waiting another year to break because she still looks a little weeny but Frankie is pretty solid for 3.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad it's helping you work stuff out and get it figured out. And yay for feeling a little less anxious! That's a great thing!

I hope it does! I can be unorganized, but when I try I'm crazy organized :lol: depends on my mood really haha!

I'm so glad you have her! She sounds like a real treat to have  just a nice, good mare! So happy you bought her!!

Hopefully Dev gets figured out. But I'm sure you do a fine job on him! I do get what you're saying though. I have the same issue losing confidence in myself at times. But you've done a great job on all the babies! You should be proud!

And I LOVE the pictures!! She's such a pretty girl


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## frlsgirl

Frankie looks so cute in all of those colors. Isn't it fun having a mare? You can put pink and purple on her without feeling guilty, lol.

One thing I'm noticing just because Ana does the exact opposite: notice how her front left and back left are always close together perhaps suggesting that her muscles are more contracted on the left and longer on the right; so she will likely go better going to the left then the right. Ana is the opposite, she goes better to the right and her right legs are always closer together at liberty. So we've been doing carrot stretches trying to entice her to stretch that tight right side by overstretching her on the left. Frankie is still growing though so she might switch by the time she's fully matured.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- it really is. It's helping me settle down and gain confidence. That's still an issue but at least now my brain doesn't tear me down like it was and making me terribly insecure. From what I'm reading it's because of an imbalance in serotonin.

:lol: I'm glad. Organization is an important skill! I'm still working it out :lol: I have no real perspective of time and am constantly late, I wasn't in the Marine Corps but as a civilian it's terrible. Ive tried timers and saying do this at this time, etc but I hate being early like I'm subconsciously scared of being early and I'm a terrible procrastinator! I'm trying really hard not to be but working on it :lol:

Thank you. Me too. I'm really thankful to have her in my life. I just love her and she's really a good fit for me. Anytime I lose motivation, I look at her and think I want to give her the best life possible. With her, it really is going to be whatever you love or hate about her is my fault. She's very honest which is what I want. Not going to give more than you deserve but isn't going to use her brain against you. I'm also glad I have her because I could see people in my area taking advantage of those qualities and ruining her mind. I think the big key with her will be being patient and fair and building her confidence and trust.

Thank you. I think I've done a pretty good job with them too. Sometimes I feel like it's just not good enough, I know I'm not the rider my trainers are but if I was I wouldn't be training with them. 

Thank you. She really is. She's very feminine!
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Tanja- it really is! She looks great in the more feminie/girlie colors.

That very well may be apart of it. She's right sided but she is tighter to the right than the left. I've been doing stretches with her to help and she probably needs to see the chiropractor (she's never been seen before) but we'll see as she matures. Stretching and muscle work and chiropractic work is good for sure!
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A bit of an update

I saw the chiropractor and that helped an unbelievable amount with the side-effects/symptoms I was having. I couldn't believe it! Prior to I was so groggy and my mind felt really foggy, I felt drugged so I thought it was the meds but really it was my neck being so out that it was cutting blood supply to my brain. The change was almost instant after being adjusted, I couldn't believe it! I was chronically lethargic, hugely apathetic and I thought it was the medication but after the adjustment I feel alert, clear headed and can think! Apathy is a horrible feeling, you're just so exhausted that you feel totally unmotivated, not interested in anything. Complacency and apathy are things that scare me.

I'm also eating gluten-free atm which I hate saying because I'm really not into "trends" but it's made a big difference in how I feel. I've been doing this for about a month. Two weeks ago, I re-introduced gluten and immediately all the fatigue, swelling, nausea symptoms came back, so I'm sticking to it now. It sucks because there are SO many foods I love but can't eat. But good thing is I'm a good cook and baker, so I can make things that are just as good as a restaurant or specialty bakery but are gluten free. My cupcakes, pancakes, etc I've been told are to die for. I made chocolate whiskey cupcakes (yeah I used fireball) and they were awesome. My decorating skills leaves something to be desired, so they looked like caca but my sister is a good decorator though lol.

Frankie is doing really-really well. I'm SO proud of her, she's so smart. We're trotting more on the lunge line, she works into the contact well, she's getting more consistent rhythm wise and is learning to steer in and out, leg yield. We took her off the lungeline and worked around the rail. She is learning how to steer. She is more coordinated and straighter going right, left she needs me to put all my weight into the right and lift my hip off the left side to help her find where to go. We did changes of direction either way and by the 2nd time going left. She worked out where to put her body where I put my weight. I was SO proud of her. She figures it out quickly. She's definitely 3 and so she isn't super coordinated/strong but she's doing great! 

We're bonding a lot more and becoming buddies. She's becoming more cuddly and trusting. BTW she is pretty polite, she is not pushy or rude about this. And I joke you know this is my horse because she's goofy. I bring out the goofy in all my horses :lol: She is wearing Dante's old saddle, it fits her pretty well. The saddle tree is designed more for a horse with her shape. It's a little too wide atm but it fits her pretty well, especially as she's filling in more. I couldn't find the measuring stick to re-measure her but my guess is she's at least 16.2h now. She's definitely grown since I measured her last. She stuck a solid 16.1 1/2h last time. I'm really leggy though, so I'm proportionate on her (for right now). Mari (my other trainer) helped us last night and when I brought down my stirrups was like how much do you want me to shorten these? And I said this is the length I ride at and she was like dang you have some legs and I was like well I'm kinda tall and pretty leggy.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad the chiro was able to help you so much! Now I need to get up my own motivation to call and have myself adjusted haha!

Also glad the diet change is helping you too. I always say whatever works!

And Frankie is so smart  she's already such a lovely horse; she's going to be phenomenal once you all get rolling!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Me too! I was feeling really off and apathetic. And definitely go see the chiropractor! You won't regret it! It's amazing how much it can help! 

Me too. I can say it's making a big difference. I wasn't convinced it was, so I tried re-introducing gluten and all the fatigue, food not digesting, swelling came back and I was like dam* it because it makes eating out SO hard and I'm REALLY picky to start with, so choosing something off a menu is terrible and not being able to eat bread or the biscuits is evil :lol: but it's not worth feeling sick over. I make good food at least, so it's not all awful but I have had a hard time getting enough to eat :lol: not starving or anything but hard to find food I want to eat and can eat. Just because I can eat it, doesn't mean I will. I'm pretty picky. I'll try about anything but if I don't like something, I wont eat it.

She really is. I'm so impressed with her. She is a very lovely girl inside and out. She's a quick study and if she has an opinion or is upset about something, she will do a foot stomp but is pretty polite about it. 

I rode her Saturday and felt too much pressure was being put on us but I will say it improved her way of going and understand where my trainer is coming from and why. We have to establish these basics from the beginning, otherwise you let her go her own way and then address the issue, then we're weeks in with her carrying herself crooked. Her trot felt incredible when she connected to the outside rein and really carried herself but I honestly felt like it was unfair but I did as my trainer asked and she figured it out quickly. 

Honestly had a rough weekend but it'll get better and I'll get better. Just gotta roll with it.


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## Tazzie

I understand as I'm picky as well :lol: so I get it.

Yeah, it sounded rough :sad: but I'm glad Frankie is doing well. And yes! It's a new day today!! Things will improve, I know they will


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## PoptartShop

Glad Frankie is improving!!  Things will definitely get better, they take time but they will. You got this!
I'm picky about what I eat regardless...always have been! LOL


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## Tihannah

LOVE the Frankie pics! She's just adorable and I love her color! She has such a light in her eyes when she's with you. Very expressive! 

And I'm with Katie! You WILL get better! You have so much going on and a lot on your plate on top of dealing with all the medical stuff. Just try to concentrate on the things that make you happy or feel at peace. Everything will come together soon!


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## frlsgirl

Mares are so much fun and Frankie is looking like she's filling out some since you've started working with her. Did you say she's a registered Oldenburg or Hanno? I'm really thinking about getting a registered Hannoverian filly as my second horse to keep Ana company for a while while she grows up and then put her in professional training with Laurie or Patty when she's old enough. 

Glad the chiro was able to help you! The good ones are miracle workers, aren't they? My hip was so out of whack causing me back pain and causing me to ride and walk with duck butt! I feel so much better now. I have a bone chip in my neck so I tend to get tight in there as well and the adjustments definitely help.

I'm glad the GF thing is working for you; I'm still mostly GF as well; currently actually totally grain free and I feel even better. My doctor thinks that grains including rice and oats make my blood sugar spike too much and then I crash and feel horrible and constantly have to eat more to keep my blood sugar up - which explains my weight gain and moodiness.

Gonna send you a pm about some other stuff.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- I'm glad to know I'm not the only one :lol: 

Well you know how it's been, it's been an interesting week is all I can say. Lots of different stuff going on. But I hope things will start to look up and not so bleak but gotta keep fighting. I hate dealing with pathological liars and unethical person but sometimes you just have no choice and have to. It's just challenging and mind boggling sometimes to deal with such unreasonable people.
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poptartshop- they've got to look up at some point. I'm just rolling with the punches at this point. I'm not going into details and what all occurred but what I do know if just stay true, honest and tell the truth and let the story play out. 

And she is. Frankie is pretty special. She's a sweetheart!
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Tina- she does. She's a really good girl and such a mama's girl. She loves having her very own person! And yes she is. She has a full personality, not a boring, dull girl at all.

but thank you Tina, I'm trying. Just gotta allow it all to come at once and steadily move through it. It reminds me of the tortoise and the hare. I may not move the fastest and things might not be but if I keep at it and stay persistent it will all work out in the end. 
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Tanja- Frankie is an ISR/Oldenburg. She's not considered an oldenburg because her grandmother (the tb) wasn't approved with the oldenburg registry, so Frankie can't be registered as an oldenburg but her babies can if she gets premium mare status. Her sire is oldenburg, her dam is out of a tb mare and by a hanoverian stallion. To me most of the german warmblood registries/types are the same. Some hanoverian lines stick out and put a definite stamp. trakehner and holsteiner are there own thing. But generally I just say she's an oldenburg for simplicity sake. Warmblood breeding is interesting. 

Frankie's sire





Frankie's dam's sire.





But if you find a baby you really love and like. Then that might be fun while you continue to work with Ana, once you have your own property! That'd be really fun! And yes mares are fun, I've always preferred mares but never owned one :lol:

Chiropractors are definitely miracle workers when they're good at what they do! I can absolutely understanding the pain created from a twisted pelvis or neck. I know for me because of my degenerative disk, the pain can be pretty bad when I'm maladjusted and affects the arthritic knees and when the neck is bad, more head aches, lethargic tendencies and head fogginess. But the bone chip sounds painful depending on the location in your neck! 

The diet makes sense to me. I avoid a lot of grains too. I still make cupcakes with gluten free, all purpose flour but I don't eat a lot of grains either because my body doesn't seem to digest it well. I can imagine how the sugar spikes could make you feel awful. It sucks when you have odd symptoms you can't work out, my mom asked me to look into Gilbert's syndrome and maybe getting tested for that and I know a friend of mine had really weird symptoms and it ended up being a thyroid problem but not one that can be diagnosed from the standard tests. So many different possibilities. 
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Update: there isn't much of one atm. Mostly just preparing for tests and rounding out this semester over the next month. Should hopefully be riding Frankie and Dev later today.

I talked to Dante's mom, he's doing great! And is really happy with his horsey girlfriend. He's jumping and in constant work and his new mom loves him so much, she said he's been really great and she's so happy to have him  which makes me really happy to hear.


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## frlsgirl

YAY! I was wondering about Dante; glad he's found a great home where he is loved!

I'm not super educated on the German Warmblood registries; but growing up I remember riding Hannoverians, Trakehners and Holsteiners; Holsteiners were bigger and almost looked like a draft horse; just really big boned. Trakehners were the opposite, like a pocket sized WB and had more fire, too. Hannos were somewhere in between; not too big boned not too small, not too hot, not too dead; just a well put together horse with the ability to excel in both jumping and Dressage. Hessen, the state I lived in, had its own registry so they would just register their WBs with Hessen. I don't recall hearing much about Oldenburgs; I do recall Westphalians but that's about it. Of course back then we all lived in a little bubble and didn't know much as we only had our own experiences and word of mouth to rely on; nowadays we have the internet to expand our horizons. 

Frankie looks super cute and you can tell that she feels good about herself


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## Tazzie

You are definitely not alone :lol: I'm not as bad as my BIL, but I'm pretty picky.

Frankie looks soo good! I love her!! Good luck on your tests and taking care of yourself!

I'm glad Dante is happy  It's great to hear!


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## PoptartShop

Awww look at Frankie!!!  Sooo adorable & so shiny & HAPPY!
Glad to hear Dante is doing well also, that makes me happy! Knock those tests out girl!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you everyone. I rode Frankie yesterday and she was really very good. We didn't do much because the saddle isn't fitting and was jumping on her back, so I'm having a saddle fitter look at it. The tree is the right shape for her back but the flocking is still curved a LOT to fit Dante's back. The saddle fitter took it and she did flatten it but she didnt want to do a total re-flock quite yet because Frankie is changing so much and still so young and didn't want me to spend a ton of money but I think it just needs to be redone because Debbie Witty had flocked it curved but Debbie is in a league of her own on flocking. She's truly a master and this saddle fitter is her apprentice.

Debbie Witty and multiple saddle fitters are actually who I've learned to judge saddle fit from but Debbie gave the most in depth demonstrations and education about saddle fit. Simply amazing the detail that goes into the work. I'm not a saddle fitter but learned a lot about evaluating saddle fit. Super important to learn.
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Tanja- thank you and yes I'm SO happy to hear him and his new mom are so happy together. I may go out and see him sometime and maybe go on a trail ride with them (she has 3 other horses) and had invited me to come out, so I'm definitely up for that.

I entirely understand. I had a big eye opening experience when I went to Germany and saw SO SO many stallion lines and types I had never seen. So many warmblood types and certain lines that put a definite stamp on their offspring that to me saying oldenburg or hanoverian or saxon anhalt or westfalen is kinda irrelevant. My trainer has a saxon anhalt mare that is approved by hanoverian and oldenburg to produce foals in those registries. Another mare was a full arabian and approved oldenburg. 

I know trakehner and holsteiner have more of a "closed" book than the other warmblood registries. trakehner only allows other trakehners, thoroughbreds and arabians (if approved) and holsteiner I think only allows holsteiners and thoroughbreds (if approved).

But I imagine it was amazing to see the evolution of warmblood breeding and having been apart of seeing those changes in Germany. I know my mom's family is from Bremen. 

And thank you. She's a good girlie, she seems happy to have a person and a job.
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Katie- Thank you! I'm doing my best, I'm not perfect but I'm choosing to look at all these experiences as an opportunity to grow, gain confidence, and a belief in myself even when confronted by unfairness, fraud, and outright lies. It'll be a defining moment and my father says all these struggles I've had will define my character and my life.

It really is! He sounds really happy and I'm really happy for them 
____________________

poptartshop- I think she is. Her coat is really starting to shine. She's on the vitamin E supplement I had Dante on. She is a picky eater and wouldn't eat the supplement I tried from smartpak.

Me too! I'm glad he's so happy and in a good home! And I'm going to try! I've been more distracted than I'd like to admit and haven't put in the work I intended to but I'll get back on it!


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## Tazzie

I'm glad she's doing so well! And yes, having the fitter come adjust the saddle would be a good thing! She's such a good girl though!

No one is perfect :wink: but you're honest. Which is what I seek in people. And they will. You're a strong individual. You'll get through it!

And that's awesome! He scored big in his new home I think


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- Me too. She's my buddy. She's really coming along! I'm sure you'll find the right fit when the time comes!

Thank you kindly  sometimes it's really nice to hear something encouraging and motivating. And that is true, sometimes too honest. I've had people get really mad at me for telling the truth and I'm utterly and completely perplexed by it but some people are never happy. But I'm the same. I like honest, genuine, straight forward people where there isnt second guessing or but what does that mean?

I really think he did. She has him seeing the chiropractor once a month and seems really happy with him. I got a text today about him which put a big smile on my face to hear how well he's doing 
__________________________

All my pets an I have become buddies. If I'm home and have an open lap, it will soon by filled by one of my 4 pets my gray cat came over and laid on my lap with my textbook and notebook in hand.

I did celebrate veterans day and the marine corps birthday in good fashion. Thought a lot about those hard to forget memories of sleeping in a sleeping bag outside in 9 degree weather, cuddling up to my M16 and shivering for 4-5hrs of sleep and 2hrs of watch :lol: carrying an 80lbs pack for 10 miles on a strained IT band, running 5 miles with sprints up and down a steep hill then carrying, then dragging a battle buddy in 90+ degree weather in high humidity, harassing people (all mutual and funny, it's bonding). The most incredibly funny swearing combinations and inappropriate jokes, I miss it like crazy!! I love the Marine Corps and miss it a lot. 

I rode Dev today, he was really good. Definitely made me work but he's come a LONG way. I haven't been riding him as much because the person who might buy him has been riding him in lessons. 

Alright I'm so excited to say I have my first videos of me riding Frankie and this is of her first time trotting off the lunge line! Super exciting (from last night) and today we cantered for the first time! It was very exciting! I'm very excited for what the future holds. She's very-very green, she's not broke but she's so smart and agreeable. I feel very blessed to have her in my life.
















Frankie pulled my hair out of my tie so I let her play, she wasn't rude or obnoxious. Was just giving me a head scratch and I'm a sucker for cuddles, as long as it's polite and doesn't become bad behavior which it hasn't. She's just VERY affectionate and loves all the attention and I love giving it.






Sometimes I don't realize I'm kinda tall until I see pictures. Frankie is 16.2h and she is not narrow. Sorry they're fuzzy screenshots! I'm 5'7 but my legs are 39-40 inches from ground to hip.


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## Tazzie

You're welcome  and I'm the same way. Honesty is key for me.

Yay for Dante!! I'm so happy for him!

Glad to hear you celebrated veterans day and the Marine's birthday! Thank you for your service!

Any update on if she will buy Dev? But I'm glad you had a good ride on him!

And Frankie looks AMAZING! You're doing a great job with her! She's such a good girl  and you really are tall! But that's ok. You guys fit each other well! She is just adorable too!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Absolutely. You can be real with an honest sinner but not a hypocritical saint. Being open, honest and real is very character telling to me.

Me too! I'm really happy for him! 

You're welcome. I enjoyed it...well sometimes I really hated it but I'm glad I did it. It definitely toughens you up and makes you grateful for everyday things. I remember when it was REALLY cold out, I refused to shower for a long time because the showers were strictly ice water. One time it was luke warm and that was pretty special. And at one school I used to warm up a bowl of water in the microwave and washed in that, then washed my hair in the sink because we didnt have hot water. Working for 72hrs straight, being out in a down pour for several hours waiting in line to shoot. Only getting 4-5hrs of sleep a night for weeks. And PT, living in a bun with tons of gel. I really don't miss formation or colors or duty but the camaraderie and culture is amazing! And the straight talking, no ruffles was good. You develop a pretty thick skin and grit. 

I'm not sure. I think she still plans to buy him but she fell off of him the other day and cracked some ribs (she said she was too loud with an aid and it scared Dev) so I think her and her husband are still discussing it but they're a really good fit and I think while she's still green about things (she's showing 2nd level and scoring well) but she's very empathetic and practical, so I think they'll be a good team. 

Thank you!! I just love her, she's really becoming a good team mate. She has an excellent brain for 3, she's still 3 and we were struggling with steering. It felt less coordinated than it looks but she really is a good girlie. I couldn't have asked for a better mare. 

And I kinda am. Pam is almost 5'11 so I never feel that tall until I look around and I'm one of the taller females. But I think she's a pretty appropriate size, I think she'll mature 16.3h+ Pam thinks she'll be 17h but we'll see. She's still growing and she's 16.2h now. 

Not much of an update. Pam is leaving tomorrow for Florida, so I made her gluten free black forest cake with vodka cream frosting and she can't get black forest cake gluten free, so I made her some. And my cat took over my lap so my legs are asleep but I can't move because the cat is comfortable and happy.


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## Tazzie

Yup! Hypocrites annoy me :lol:

And yikes, no thanks... I know the culture and camaraderie is nice, but I'd never make it I don't think!

I hope so does. Sucks she got hurt though, but at least she sounds understanding about it!

Haha, the baby drunk stage has to happen though :lol: she'll catch on quick though! She's a smart one! And definitely a nice mare!

We will definitely see  long as it's a relatively slow growth :lol:

Wow, it is the 14th, huh? Time is FLYING! But at least you have Frankie going so you can work with her through the winter until Pam is back! That's a great thing! And that was kind of you to do that for her!


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## PoptartShop

Suuuuch cute pictures!!!!!!! I love the selfies LOL so cute!
& your hair is so long I'm jelly!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- me too!

I think you'd be surprised of what you're able to do once you commit to it! Haha I wont deny bootcamp and combat training was miserable, well and the school house but the fleet wasn't so bad. I hated drill under the hot sun, drilling for hours and hours and getting screamed at, rifle IT was so painful, standing still for long periods of time with little sleep. Swimming in full gear, I hate swimming :lol: my mom was a competitive swimmer so I grew up in a pool and can swim but dont' like being wet. Being wet just feels wrong.

Oh definitely! She just doesn't know exactly what I'm asking yet but she sure tries and wants to do a good job. I definitely think the FEI 4yr old test is a realistic goal. 

I think she's still planning to buy him, she unfortunately had a fall from him and cracked her ribs. She was just too loud with her outside leg and it upset him. She didn't blame him at all, I think Dev was a little surprised. And I'm glad I did too, it was confidence building and gave me more direction with him because I had a lesson with Pam.

I wish it was but she's butt high again, so I think she's shooting up again. She's growing pretty fast but hopefully it'll level out sooner rather than later. I don't think she'll grow too big or at least I hope not. If she doesn't grow any more I'm fine and as Pam's probably right and I'll probably have a 17h monster I just want her to be sound and healthy. My old eventer was just under 17h and I look proportionate on it, so it's all fine :lol: I used to ride a 17.2h holsteiner that everyone said looked like he was 16.2h when I was on him because we looked so proportionate he didn't look that big. I don't think Frankie will be that tall.

It really is flying by! I have Mari to help me over winter, so I'm not on my own. I don't think I could do much with her from in the saddle on my own at this point. She still needs to be chased with the lunge line when I'm on her (not chased literally, just what we call it). She's not broke yet, so not ready to be on her own.
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poptartshop- thank you! She's a really affectionate, sweet mare! 

And thank you, I feel more comfortable with long hair than short, plus I don't like going to the salon more than necessary, so I just let it grow and get it trimmed as needed. 
____________________

I'm riding Frankie later tonight, I don't know what the plan is with Dev.

I'm still adjusting to the zoloft, atm it's really reducing my motivation and drive which isnt cool but Im at least more energetic. I'm trying to figure out what's within me that's so de-motivated, I've heard it's a common side effect but still not a good thing. Really struggling to motivate myself. I'm very flat emotionally and not as careful, very-very chill like hippy level of chill and super even. No lows or highs mood wise, very level which kinda takes the joy out of things. It's a really weird thing to experience. I think it's good because I don't have so much self doubt and second guessing everything I do/think but definitely not quite myself either. I'm hoping I'll get used to it and everything will work itself out, I at least am not being crippled by panic attacks and drastic over thinking and working myself up with anticipation. Much more level.


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## egrogan

You and Frankie look really well suited for each other. What a pretty mover!

Non-horsey question for you- how do you upload your videos to YouTube and maintain such good quality resolutions? When I upload from my iPhone using the YouTube app, the great quality from my phone is reduced to just a blurry image in YouTube, and when I copy it over here. What's your secret?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. I adore her, I really enjoy working with her. She's very kind but still playful and has a great work ethic. She's super smart but in a different way than Dante. She figures things out very quickly and it amazes me how a lot of things that took me a year+ to train into other horses, she does naturally. She is very nice in the contact. Dante took a good year to get contact but that was an unusual situation, very few horses are that tricky in the contact but not too uncommon with arabs/half arabs.

My usual camera takes really high quality videos, the videos on Frankie were taken with my trainer's phone which is the new iphone and sent to me through an app and I just uploaded them onto youtube from my phone. I didn't do anything special, just uploaded but I believe youtube has an option where you can upload video with a higher resolution but they take longer to upload. My camera actually takes better quality videos than the iphone but I just load directly from my phone. I think transferring files to the computer reduces quality but that's my theory because when I've loaded videos from a computer the quality is less than directly from phone to youtube.


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## Tihannah

How did I miss the first ride on Frankie?!!?! You guys look fantastic! So giddy with excitement for you! This is going to be SOOO fun and educating watching her grow with you. And I agree with Katie, she definitely takes up your leg well. I simply adore how expressive she is in all the pics. Gotta love a horse with personality!


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## Tazzie

I'm sure I could do it, but not sure my body could handle it for long :lol: I'm already falling apart as it is!

I really think so too. She's a good girl and she has the talent and the mindset!

I'm glad she's still planning to! It does sound like a surprising event, but they will get through it  she'll get more sensitive with her aids I'm sure 

Silly girl wanting to get taller :lol: she is a big girl! But so pretty! And you all will look picture perfect 

I know what you mean. I'm glad Mari will help you though! It's so fun watching you guys progress 

I hate when my motivation leaves :/ I'm glad you're a bit more leveled so you aren't doubting yourself so much, but ugh. I hope you find your motivation. Hope the ride went well last night!!


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## frlsgirl

Wow Frankie looks fantastic; like she's been doing this for a while; of course it takes a rider of your caliber to make her look this good so early on in her training.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- I don't know lol. It's not the first ride but was our first ride off of the lungeline! She's doing really well, I'm REALLY proud of her. She's a really smart girl but in an agreeable way. 

My trainers and I are really excited to develop her. I think they're happy to see me with her. I'm really looking forward to the FEI young horses classes! The 4yr old test is really similar to first 1, so I'm really excited!

And yes she definitely is not short on personality. When she was still in the womb, I remember she used to kick quite a bit when I put my hand on Gracie's belly. Then when she was born, I remember she was really agreeable and good, she was just pleasant to be around. She had big ears :lol: she's always had a personality. Loves attention and love.
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Katie- I'm sure you could have and no worries my body is falling apart too...because of it. Chronic tendinitis (I've had 3 bad injuries to my left hip flexor), degenerative disks in my lower back, arthritis in my knees (right is worse), and collapsed arches. I think most everyone gets out a bit broken. 

She really does! I'm really looking forward to developing her!

I think so! I hope she ends up with him, I really think it'd be a good match and learning experience for her. Dev has such a good temperament and I think he'll be pretty chill and able to do trails or go to a show and just be good and solid about it all.

She is and I have no idea what she'll mature to be. She's 16.2h now and definitely growing but oh well, as long as she's sound and healthy.

Definitely! I think Mari is going to be a big help, she's taking us down a slightly different path but I think this might be better long term.

Exactly! It's really tough to get anything done when you're not motivated enough! I have some emails I really need to write and for whatever reason I just can't bring myself to do it, stupid really but thank you!

Frankie was really good last night!
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Tanja- Thank you. I'm flattered. Frankie's a really good girl, really pleasant to work with, with a good-willing attitude. She's a smart girlie!
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Not much of an update but I cleaned the entire house and I feel pretty pleased with myself for it. I spent a good 6-7hrs. It wasn't that dirty, I'm just really anal and OCD. Marine clean :-D Dog beds are clean, guest beds washed, bathrooms scrubbed, mats cleaned, I went crazy :lol: vacuuming, mopping, and tons of laundry. I went to a friends house once and they asked me to go with them for a small road trip (I don't like being in a car for long periods of time, unless I'm driving) and I said no, I'm staying and cleaning house. They insisted I go with them but I said no, as a favor to me they had to allow me to clean their house and I scrubbed it from top to bottom, their house was bad...I also cleaned while they were sleeping once because if things aren't to my satisfaction of cleanliness I can't sleep (they know me, so they were not surprised). A house doesn't need to be immaculate or Marthan Stewart-esque, just clean. I have stayed up until 2am cleaning friends houses, they weren't offended, they know me well enough to know I'm just neurotic and I need the environment to be a certain way or I can't get comfortable.

But I also make a lot of really yummy baked goods and cook, so nobody complains :lol: I did make gluten free black forest cake, all from scratch. Made the cherry syrup, whipped cream and cake and then Pam forgot the cupcakes :lol: I knew she would and I told her to not forget them and she promised she wouldn't but forgot them anyway :lol: I knew it was going to happen. I even told her with the low night temperatures that she should leave them in her truck, so she wouldn't forget.

And Frankie was really good last night. We didn't canter, just walk and trotted off the lunge line. She started getting behind the bit today, so we took the approach of not having her come above but trying to instill good habits. Once they learn to get behind, it's so tricky to correct. We also did some leg yield and she is a smart cookie. I went to change direction and she thought I was asking for leg yield and did it well. I was impressed.

Baby Frankie. Her mom is by a hanoverian stallion and out of a thoroughbred mare. She was 16.2h, she was a powerhouse.


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## Tazzie

Lol, I'm just accident prone :lol:

I would be too! I look forward to your journey with her 

He sounds like a good boy  when will she decide?

Yes, sound and healthy is most important!

I'm sure it'll be a good path. I'm interested to see how it goes!

I hate when motivation disappears. It's hard to find it again :/

I'm glad Frankie was so good! She's such a good baby! And her baby photos are adorable! I just love her


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- lol okay now well that WOULD be a problem! We did a 5-6mi hike at night without light, that was probably my least favorite of the hikes. The hikes are painful from start to finish, it's mostly a mental thing of constant exertion with short breaks every 3 miles or so.

Thank you, I am too. This journey is one of the few things I really look forward and enjoy in the process.

I don't know atm. I think she's waiting for her ribs to heal to get back on and then she'll make a decision. And he really is, he's tricky in the contact because of his conformation but he's a really good boy and I think with more training he'll be pretty easy. Lots of good things about him and he's funny. He's just a goofy, dorky horse who just makes you laugh.

For sure!

Me too, it's really been a struggle and it's eating me up because I'm usually a pretty driven person and now I'm pretty apathetic and trying to figure out how to get myself going again. I know it's largely due to the medication but I'm trying to figure out a new source for drive. It really makes things hard. I'm chronically tired and dragging myself around to do things, even to go to the barn I have to drag myself which is pretty disheartening. 

Me too. She really is a good girlie. She was a lot better last night, much better in the contact, listened to me a lot more than before. She's figuring it out. A lot straighter, did 1 or 2 leg yield steps from me asking. She really was. My favorite baby picture of hers I can't post because my friends face is in it but it's of her after a bath pinning both her ears and pouting lol. It was cute. 
____________________________

Update: rode Frankie and Dev last night, just Frankie tonight.

Dev is stretching down more into the contact, it's still hard to get him to do but he's stretching down a lot more and really reaching into the contact, timing is everything but he's getting easier and better about it. Rhythm was a lot better, canter was a lot better. A lot more reach in his neck. Still takes a lot of riding and tact but it's getting there! He was a good boy. He's usually pretty uphill but he's butt high now, so I'm pretty sure he's growing. He's also gotten a good deal wider which shocked me. He's usually pretty thoroughbredy in body type and he's starting to muscle up and get a bit wider and more mature looking, except in expression. His expression is pure baby with no attention span lol like a 5-6yr old with ADHD.

Frankie was also really good. We rode off the lunge line, just walk and trot. She was a lot straighter and a lot better in the contact. She is listening to me a lot more, responding more to leg, did 1 or 2 leg yield steps from me asking her so she's figuring it out!

Overall still dealing with this apathy and fatigue issue. I'm glad I'm not so anxiety filled that I shut down but now it's figuring out how to get motivated and driven again. Fatigue is awful, no matter how much I sleep Im exhausted and if I don't get enough sleep, I feel like I'm going to fall asleep. It's frustrating but I'm hoping something can be worked out so this is only temporary. I HATE being this exhausted, it's really demotivating and not in an insecure way. More like I'm just so tired in a way most people are if they only had 3hrs of sleep for a few nights in a row. I've always struggled with fatigue and being tired but it's definitely worse and frustrating. It makes it hard to get things done.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Not much of an update but rode Frankie last night and she was REALLY good. Definitely listening to me more and more and picking things up quickly. It was kinda funny because I kept telling Mari how smart Frankie is and how good she is and she was like uh Cassie you're getting better which is why she's picking it up so fast. And I was like I've definitely improved but Frankie is still a very smart cookie. She figures things out so quickly. Just show her and she's like I got it!

She's very willing and wants to do well. I REALLY want to measure her because she is DEFINITELY growing. I tried yesterday but the measuring stick is gone and the tape isn't accurate. I sticked her on level ground a month+ ago and she was 16.1 1/2 with the level and now she's definitely bigger, so my guess is 16.2h. Height isn't that important to me, I just like keeping track of her growth and her rate of growth. 



Tried taking a nap




I also found a stallion I love. I have NO plans of breeding Frankie atm but if I ever did this is the stallion I'd want to breed her to. From what I've read of him he's very ridable and has a good temperament for a 3yr old stallion. They said his lines are known for their ridability and he doesn't have that hot, tense look and relatively speaking he looks very pleasant to ride, plus he has a good neck and he's not soft in his pasterns and good feet. And lines I like and that Frankie doesn't have. I've found a few stallions I love but they're her brother or close relative or have a poor temperament or don't look very ridable.


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## Tazzie

Yeah :lol: my mom said she should have named me Grace because I am not in the least bit graceful. Only time I have decent balance is on a horse :lol:

I'm glad! It's a good journey I think 

Ah, that makes sense! Will be interesting to see what she decides  I like dorky horses lol

That is disheartening, but I get it. It's tough. You'll make it through though!

Such a smart baby!!

I'm glad Dev and Frankie are doing so well! Hopefully you can get video again soon of you riding Frankie! I'd love to see the difference!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- :lol: I guess that would have ironic and humor in the name or maybe you'd have been graceful, who knows lol

I think so too. I'm enjoying it so far, I won't lie and say I'm not looking forward to when we can really work and being able to do clinics, ride on our own, go to shows, etc but I think you have to enjoy each step or you can't enjoy the present. 

I think so. I hope she does get him. I think he'd be a good guy, he has a good temperament and I think he'll challenge her enough that she'll learn a lot from him and be a productive, positive situation.

It really is. I'm doing a little better but we'll see, it may be temporary and after a few more weeks when I'm more used the medication it'll change.

She really is. She's a really smart girl and she tries really hard. She definitely wants to please and do the right thing. 

Me too! I'd love to get new video soon but I dont know when I'll be able to. I'd love to get more on Dev as well because he's going a lot better then last time.
____________________

Not much update. We're working Frankie and Dev tomorrow, as my trainer is taking an "L" judge class and doesn't have time today. 

I made cookies last night and spent time with my sister and her bf. Washed the dogs, did laundry, rolled polos, homework, etc. Just making myself stay busy, so I can keep motivated and not lose that.

I absolutely love the stallion Revolution, I think he's incredible and I'm really looking forward to seeing how he develops!


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## Tihannah

That stallion is GORGEOUS! His strides are incredible!


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## PoptartShop

Beautiful pictures, and cute selfies. Well, 'usies' LOL.
That stallion looks amazing too! Whew!


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## frlsgirl

About the fatigue thing; try some extreme cardio outside, even if it's just for 5 minutes; I try to run around the block every morning before work because it makes me feel fantastic the rest of the day; on days that I don't run I'm just kind of existing until I go to the barn where I start to wake up again. It sounds like you are already pretty active given that you ride so many horses; does the fatigue only hit you at home? Can you just run up and down some stairs a couple of times to help you wake up? Starting SSRI's in the fall is hard anyway because the days are shorter so your body is thinking it should be sleeping as soon as it gets dark. 

Also, now that you are riding strictly WBs, are you noticing how different they feel from Dante? Does it seem like Frankie is easier to ride/train then Dante? Is is easier for you to install and push all the buttons?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- He is. He's pretty incredible. He looks so rideable, supple and level tempered for a stallion and a youngster. His rideability, movement (so scopey and supple), he really moves over his back and is so supple and over his back. He also has an excellent conformation, modern type, all 3 gaits are quality and manufactured. Good neck, uses himself well. lol I'm in love too.
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PoptartShop- Yes. I have tons of selfies with my animals friends. My cats, dogs, and Frankie :lol: hard not to when they're your buddies and you want to remember those moments.

He really is. I just love him!
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Tanja- that's a really good idea. I might try that and see how it affects my energy levels because that's exactly how I feel, like I'm just existing but not really living or participating in life until I'm actually at the barn, before I'm not super enthusiastic about anything. Not really interested in living, I hope the cardio will help me too! Thank you for the suggestion!

It's hard to say. Dante is a unique case because he was very tricky because of his physical conformation and his mind. He was actually WAY WAY bouncier than any of the warmbloods I've ridden and he was very tricky in the contact because of his swan neck. Being half arab and having the arabian swan neck provided interesting training complications, combined with how downhill he was and how abrasive he was. I've ridden a lot of other horses that were not purpose bred and I don't know that riding the purpose bred horses is easier, I'd say it depends. You still have to ride and ride well. Dev is tricky, even though he has a good mind and is very honest because of his ewe neck. He uses his neck well when he uses it but he is tricky to get correct and really take the contact out but getting better and more consistent all the time. 

Frankie is very much so a baby and is going through all the normal baby type stuff. I think things will be easier down the road because she already has natural sit and uses her neck well which definitely gives us a head start in comparison to Dante who a lot of the training with him was teaching him how to take contact, conditioning him to sit and carry more behind and really training his neck which took a good year to get him to really take contact and a year and half to really fix his canter because he was so downhill it felt like being on a washing machine during spin cycle, so a lot of getting a consistent rhythm and organizing his balance back which takes a long time to condition. Mentally Frankie is very honest and impressionable which makes her a lot easier to work with then Dante because she actually wants to do it vs fighting tooth and nail and using every resource mentally to find a way out of doing it. Dante was also addressing a lot of behavioral and protesting and trying to convince him to be on your side, lots of tact. Frankie is very honest, anything she does well is on me and what she doesn't do well is on me too. Honest is a characteristic I greatly appreciate in a horse, part of what made Dante so tricky is because what conventionally works didn't work with Dante or what was theoretically true for most horses wasn't true for him if that makes sense, he was very tricky as a dressage horse but over fences he's very pleasant and easy. Very rhythmical, willing and looked out for me and whoever rides him. So it's really hard to compare. The biggest difference is really the mind set and willingness. Dante felt very fancy and impressive, he honestly felt more impressive than quite a few wbs Ive ridden. He had ability, he just didn't have the mentality.
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Update

Rode Dev last night, we had a REALLY good ride/lesson with Mari. She's taking a judges course, so we learned some really good things and had a good discussion. I'm really enjoying my lessons with Mari, I've learned a ton. A lot of focus on my personal crookedness which is minor but still something I'm being made aware of adjusting. Really nit picking attention to detail and getting my timing and really making me address some bad habits I've formed from riding Dante and babies. 

Frankie I rode yesterday and today, she was also really good. She's becoming better at leg yield. She has it worked out left but right is still elusive. She's getting a much better idea of moving forward off my leg and responding to the whip. She definitely needs that atm as she learns I direct more than the ground person. She's getting better about steering but it's nothing like riding an adult horse. She's definitely a baby, a smart, honest baby but still a baby going through all the firsts and figuring things out and taking our time.


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## frlsgirl

Dante the gelding sounds like such a diva compared to Frankie the mare. I totally hear you - it's so much easier to ride and train an agreeable horse than one who is constantly working against you. Ana kind of bounces back and forth between "yes mam" and "hail no" - I guess that's the diva in her.


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## Tazzie

That stud is a nice looking boy! And I'm glad you're enjoying the journey!

I'm glad Dev and Frankie are doing so well  Frankie definitely seems like a smart cookie! I'm so glad you decided to buy her!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- He really was. He was very sassy and opinionated. Frankie is very reasonable and eager to please.

Definitely temperament and ridability make things so much easier, the mind is where it's at. Keeping them happy, willing and wanting to work with you, and also to progress. And it very well could be her diva side in okay I can do this and heck no that's really hard or I don't like how you asked.
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Katie- He really is! I'm in awe of him!

I'm enjoying working with her. She's a smart cookie with a good work ethic and desire to please. It's nice to feel like we're building on something, rather than dealing with so many quirks and personality issues that you're always struggling and never progressing. It's really nice to feel steps forward.

Thank you. I am too. She's very special to me, I really love her. And am so glad to be developing a partnership with her and developing her. But I'm really glad Dev and Frankie are doing well. I'll be riding them again tomorrow, so hopefully all goes well.
____________ 

Not much update. Ironically after reading about back pain, I had a return of bad back pain :lol: it hurt worse a few days ago, didn't feel the need to throw up but I may have shared a few words that rhyme with duck. I'm a former Marine, I've really acclimated a lot more to civilian life so I'm usually pretty clean mouthed.

Also made homemade chocolate chip gluten free cookies with milk and dark chocolate. 

And Dev modeling Frankie's bridle, since his was taken to Florida.


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## Tazzie

She seems super smart! I'm glad you guys are developing such a partnership 

Dev looks great in Frankie's bridle! I'm such a sucker for bling :lol:

As for the back pain, I hear ya! I was cussing it up yesterday with mine!


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## frlsgirl

I took my own advice and ran around the building every time I felt fatigued; my co-workers were like "what the heck is she doing?" "Oh, she's probably just exercising again, she does weird things like that; if you ever hear weird noised coming from her office she's probably doing push-ups or jumping jacks!" It did really make me feel better. They say desk jobs is the new smoking - killing you ever so slowly with bad postural habits and lack of cardio. Maybe that's where the back pain is coming from? Are you leaning/hovering over your computer?


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## PoptartShop

Ahhhh! Is that the same bridle my Redz has?????????????? (sorry it's a bit pixelated, I had to brighten it up a ton lol)

SOOO CUTE!!! LOL, bling is life!  He's super cute!!!
So happy for you about Dev + Frankie!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- I am too. She's a really good girl but she still has personality and vibrancy that makes her fun to work with and be around. Not boring.

He does. I thought it'd look a little funny on him because the bridle is meant for a horse with a pretty, dainty head but it didn't look bad on him which kinda surprised me. He doesn't have a bad head, he's quite handsome. It's just not a dainty-pretty head. 

:lol: it sucks doesn't it? Like a reminder of being stupid. I know mine is from how hard I've been on my body but I guess for us we just have to try to keep healthy and on top of it so it doesn't get worse. Plenty of fluids and exercise!
_________________

Tanja- I'm not entirely sure why the back pain is more intense sometimes and not others but I 100% agree that the cubical, sitting around all day lifestyle is the modern equivalent to smoking. Postural issues are definitely a factor in a lot of pain issues, that's for sure! But that's awesome you keep so motivated and keep pushing yourself to stay healthy at work. It definitely feels good to be well! Exercise helps with energy levels!

The back pain is from degenerative disks in my lower back from how hard I've been on my body. I've had a badly strained IT band, tendenosis in my iliopsoas tendon, arthritis, etc. I used to easily run 25+ miles per week, plus the hikes with 80lbs of gear for 10miles, and all the combat training. And standard wear. I was actually a beast at one time. 7+ mile runs in boots and utes with half mile on dry sand. I could easily toss the 180lb guys around like rag dolls before my 1st injury. Had pretty good run times, did mud runs, tons of cross fit, rope climbing, stairs, some martial arts, sleigh pushing, etc. I used to get slayed every morning when I was in GA, I think that's what did it. I didn't have a concept of limits, I just pushed and pushed and pushed following the motto "pain is just weakness leaving the body."
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PoptartShop- I don't think it's the same bridle. The one I have is a kieffer rolled leather bridle. But Redz bridle is lovely! And yes bling is quite lovely!

Here's Frankie modeling the bridle


Also modeling with Dante's browband


__________________
I also found this picture of Dev and Frankie's mom. This is why she wasn't bred again, no problems with Dev but she has pregnancy related laminitis and had to be under ice for a few days. And yes she was pregnant with Frankie in this picture. 



As for update. Didn't go out yesterday. I was feeling sick (dizzy, head spinning, feverish). No idea why, feel better today though. This morning I spoke with my Grandfather for about half an hour over the phone, my grandmother passed the day after the election. So we had a nice chat. I was ambushed by dogs.

Probably my favorite picture with the shiba because we're celebrating an anniversary. 




I've pretty much wasted the day watching the Star Trek, Happy Treksgiving marathon with my cats in my lap and laying with me :lol: I am VERY aware of how lazy that makes me but in my defense it is Star Trek and my cats are very cuddly and soft. 

I will be riding Dev and Frankie tonight though, so hopefully I'll have an update then and I'd kinda like to get video if possible but that may not happen.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright so some Frankie pictures/video. I also rode Dev and he was really good. We had really quite a good ride, it was very productive for me. I learned a lot riding him. Friday still isnt sound, so haven't been riding him. 

Dev was really good, I'm really working on keeping my hand more closer together and in front of my body. Trying to correct the habits of riding babies all the time. So I learned a lot and developed better timing and application and positioning tonight.

And yes Frankie and I are color coordinated :lol: we cantered tonight for the first time around the arena which was pretty special. It felt pretty awkward but it was nice to canter her. We mounted at the mounting block on our own for the first time tonight and I was more on my own to get her going forward. She's not broke, we still need a ground person but she's listening a lot more to me and in the videos it was mostly me just asking her to go forward and her working out going forward.

Videos













Pictures. I don't love my position in these but oh well, have to win some and lose some when trying to work out making it better.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Not a huge update.

Rode Frankie and Dev on Friday. They were REALLY REALLY good. Dev was honestly the best he's ever been. I was really impressed. A big part of it as well is I'm improving and getting a lot better with my timing and application of aids. And Dev is getting stronger and more coordinated, so I can do more with him. I had some ah-ha moments that was like yeah he is advanced enough he can do that. We did some shoulder in both direction walk and trot, some 15m circles trot and canter. Shallow loops and I really worked on getting him to come up more in the canter and connected with a good rhythm. His desire is to go out of rhythm and canter on the forehand but he really maintains well once he's there and is very rhythmical. I'm super proud of him.

Frankie was also really good. Did a 20m circle in trot both ways and cantered. The canter was definitely the best so far, much more in balance, rhythmical and confident. Just stepped and cantered, didn't take much to ask and for her to get it. I change my diagnol to signal to her something is different, then ask. I also think switching diagnol makes it easier to feel the right moment to ask and set them up for success. Forms better habits. She's getting lateral steps better too and did a few steps in walk, left is definitely better than right. Right she still needs help from a ground person. Would love to get video of it fairly soon.

Procrastinated a lot, I know SO bad. It's a genuine problem I have and I'm working on but I just can't make myself until I HAVE to. I guess I just gotta keep working on it because procrastination is unacceptable. Watched more Star Trek (original series and next generation). I know that's terrible but I really like Star Trek.

Teaching a lesson today, then riding Frankie and Dev.

My goal this next weekend is to do one clinic ride on Frankie and the other two on Dev but we'll see what Frankie is ready for.

Some more pics


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## Tihannah

She is looking great, Cassie! So glad to hear the babies are coming along nicely!

I am TOTALLY a procrastinator as well! I almost think I do better when I'm under pressure! Lol. I'm pretty sure if you looked up "last minute" in the dictionary, my picture would be there!

So working with the babies? How do you teach them what certain aids mean in the saddle? Like canter for instance? I still struggle with asking for this and I always feel like I'm working too hard to get it. So I'm curious as to how you teach the babies to know that this is what you are asking for?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. I am too! They're happy babies! Frankie is a good girlie, she's not super confident in herself but she is confident in her person, so she's one that needs someone who is clear and gives good direction and she'll happily go along with it. It makes her really trainable. 

Oh no Tina! I'm the exact same way, it's REALLY terrible! I've tried so hard to fix it but haven't been able to figure out how to fix it yet but I hope to one day! It makes things really hard! I have really no time management skills :lol: I know part of it is the aspergers and ADHD but one day hopefully I can overcome it. Procrastination is a terrible habit to break! Says me as I'm procrastinating :lol:

With the babies we teach them through ways they can understand. Like leg yield I'll put more weight to the side of travel, look where I want to go, and lift my hip off the saddle of the leg I'm trying yield off of with a ground person asking the horse to move over (they already know from the ground) so we just introduce it like here yield off the leg one step, good job, and repeat 3 times than move on.

For canter the first time is kinda running them into the canter. You put on your canter aids but they don't know what it means so you still ask as if they know and expect a reaction and the ground person and yourself kinda chase them into it and lots of praise. But once they get a better idea, we prepare them for a change by switching diagnol then sit and ask. Changing diagnol signals them that a change has occurred and it also helps us so we can feel the set up into the canter. Then I sit, put my outside leg back and canter but I mentally expect the canter and don't brace or kick into it. Just help them be in balance and ask. For more experienced setting them up for it helps a lot, like half halting through the core for a slightly more collected trot, half halt twice on the outside rein to let them know it's coming. Outside leg back and ask. You can also change your diagnol to signal a change and help you feel the canter and imagine just stepping into the canter and expecting it to happen. Mental projections and expectation really influence them. For example imagining what you expect and what it'll feel like and allowing it to happen. No holding, pulling back or shoving to canter. More like just supple the lower back, imagine the movement and allow it to happen if that makes sense? It's something you'll have to play with for yourself but if you need practice you can canter-trot 4-5 steps and canter again until the aid becomes really clear to you both and setting her up in trot, no running into it, half halt and have her listening, then let go, relax and canter. Leg yielding in or our depending on the horse's shoulder helps a lot and sometimes setting up on a circle and imagining there are 4 corners to the circle and turning the shoulders as though you were turning on a square helps too.

Also doing turn on the forehand or turn on the haunches squares in walk can help correlate those aids for when you need them in trot or canter.

I'm teaching a little girl and she was amazed how her mental projections and expectations made a difference in the horse's response and also pointing her belly button to where she wanted to go. She was like woah I don't even need to touch the reins and I laughed lol.
________________________

And update

Frankie and Dev were good last night. Frankie cantered and was ridden with another horse in the arena. She was a bit nervous about them lunging but I got her attention and kept her focus on me, so it wasn't an issue.

Dev's gotten a lot stronger and is getting better but I'm pretty sure the saddle we have for him is too tight and it's definitely affecting the ride but there isn't much we can do about that. It's the only saddle that fits him atm. 

Lesson also went well. She's getting a lot stronger, more balanced and more confident. She's a 6yr old girl (almost 7) and really eager to learn. She's two pointing better, learning to post and steer better. She learned she can point her belly button where she wants to go and to feel the rhythm in the post. After she got it a bit better, towards the end I had her count 1, 2 to say what part of her post she was in and she was like that's really hard! And I said I know but down the road it will help you a lot so you know how fast or slow you're going. And it'll help her post so she can be more rhythmical. Bailey was great for her. He's a really special horse, super smart foundation qh. Super fun to ride and super honest for an adult but sensible and so good for kids or beginners too. He's honestly the perfect schoolmaster. He taught me a lot too. He can half pass and do all those fun things, he knows 3rd level movements but can't sit enough to compete, so he maxed at 2nd level but he can be super light off the aids and responsive or dead, dull and quiet for those who need it. Just a solid gentleman. 

6yrs ago me and Bailey


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## Tazzie

I'm so glad everyone is doing so well! I love the videos of Frankie working  she's so adorable! I can't wait to see her canter haha!

The little girl is adorable! So much to learn! I hope she sticks with it!

And Bailey sounds like a rockstar  those types are worth their weight in gold!


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## PoptartShop

Happy happy horses!  So cute! I love the video!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie-thank you. I'm really happy the babies are doing so well too. Dev is really growing on me. Frankie's my favorite but I really like Dev too. He's such a character, just funny and dorky. He's very sweet and he's starting to come into himself. He's not so lanky and thoroughbredy as he was, neck is still an ewe neck but he uses it well when ridden well. 

I'm also looking forward to having video of our canter. We have a clinic this coming weekend. Frankie is doing one day and it'll be a shorter ride for her and then Dev is hopefully doing two days. Gotta message Pam to confirm but as of right now that's the plan. I'm super excited. I haven't done a clinic since April? And hopefully Frankie will be able to do one day. She wont be doing any more than that. She's too young.

I think she will or at least I have feeling she will, she loves it and just loves being with the horses. Plus she's competitive and bossy but she's eager to learn and wants to do a good job. She wants to challenge herself and she's a very smart young girl.

He really is! Bailey is a REALLY special horse. He's small but he's a tank. He's 15h but super smart. He's crabby most of the time but he's pretty special. He's taught almost everyone at the barn so much, he truly is the ultimate schoolmaster. So honest and honestly super fun to ride. He honestly has the best work ethic and will work himself into the ground, he's lazy as sin if ridden that way but super light and responsive if asked to be. He's a cool guy, doesn't ride small. He has a big heart and is a major show off. Memorizes the tests so you have to always be a step ahead of him.
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poptartshop- Thank you. They're good kids! 

_______________

No update but I will say I wrote 6 pages this morning and I'm taking a nap before tackling the rest. I'm exhausted :lol: my pets are keeping me company and are quite cuddly. I haven't been eating as much lately, I made myself eat more than I wanted to because I'm getting a little too thin. The thinnest I've ever been was gross, the muscle on my scapula eroded away during bootcamp and you could put fingers in between my ribs and my hips had a big dip. I never want to look like that again, too skeletal. I'm not a big eater and I'm pretty athletic. I've been working on climbing up the stairs without using my lower body at all. Just pulling myself up, it's harder than it sounds. Still doing pull ups and core stuff to get into better shape. I like working out, I enjoy physical exertion and pushing past boundaries. I think I got addicted to that at one point. Just can't push myself like that anymore or I will pay for it, I have gotten older lol.


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## Tazzie

The clinic sounds like it will be so much fun!! Oh I hope someone will record for you!! I think one ride would be plenty for Frankie! And it's awesome you'd get to ride Dev too 

Sounds like someone who will stick with it then! 

:lol: I know 15h is considered small, but I have to chuckle since that is what Izzie is :lol: but he seems neat!

Yikes! You need to eat! I've never been one to be that skinny. True, I'd like to be a littler thinner than I am, but I don't think I'm at a bad weight. Too skeletal isn't good :/


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## frlsgirl

I like what you said about mental projection in teaching to canter; if I even have a fleeting thought about cantering Ana is already pinning her ears and trotting faster like she knows it's coming


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- It is. I'm SUPER DUPER excited and looking forward to it. I adore Murray. He's AMAZING!! He's an eventer and has competed internationally and I believe won at Burghley or Badminton but he also can teach dressage through Grand Prix. He's awesome and so down to earth and is so insightful, I enjoy just talking to him. Very pragmatic, very working British. As a person I admire him a lot.

I think so, plus Pam is her Aunt so I sure hope so! She'll have so many incredible education opportunities!

He is :lol: and I can understand that. Anything under 16h I consider small, even Dante who was a hair under 16h we call small but if the horse does well. Nobody cares about size. Image, a horse whose competing PSG at my barn is 14.3h half paint/half cob.

I think I'm doing better now, I just don't like eating that much. I make a lot of baked goods but I don't eat a ton. And your weight looks good, I wouldn't worry lol. I'm just careful, I used to be pudgy or heavy and after the Marines and physical stuff it's really changed my body. I've actually gotten a lot leaner with age, I was kinda fat as a teen and in my early 20s. I have to be careful about what I eat but also careful that I eat enough.
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Tanja- absolutely. Mental projections and intent are SO SO powerful when working with horses. Horses arent telepathic but our thoughts send signals to our bodies and the horses pick up on that. They're very sensitive and I think sometimes it surprises people just how sensitive horses really are. Like with the little girl I'm teaching. I told her to point her belly button and look where she wanted to go and she was amazed. She said I don't even have to touch the reins to turn and I said exactly! Think of your thoughts and what you want to feel and where you want to go. If you want to trot at A, where do you need to start asking so you trot at A?

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Update

Alright so I rode Dev last night and he was AMAZING. Absolutely the best he's ever been. The change was so drastic, I asked Mari if she had ridden him and she was like no, that's all you and your good riding. I don't know how to describe it other than he was having fun and I was having a lot of fun riding him. He was being so good, I asked him for some lengthened steps (his first time) and he got it. I thought surely someone had taught him but no, granted he tried to run a few steps than I half halted and he lengthened as if he knew what I was asking. He also finally got shoulder in right. It's still not as good as left but better. He even did long and low on a 3 loop serpentine which is SUPER hard with him because of his neck conformation but I was impressed. Leg yielded both ways from quarter line, left was easy, right was difficult. He's VERY left hand dominant, last year as a 3yr old he actually couldn't even bend right :lol: literally he'd go right with his head turned left. It was hilarious, I'd never known a horse that did that. I mean he's over come that but still funny. 

Frankie cantered BOTH direction for the first time in a single ride and was actually a little sweaty after the ride. Last night was a push ride, we'll take her back to light Thursday and then Saturday she's doing one clinic ride and it will likely be short.

Alright some short videos. Hopefully more to come this weekend of both Dev and Frankie. I kinda like having a brother/sister combo to ride. They're very different but mentally similar. Frankie definitely sees me as Mom, Mari helped me get Frankie ready last night which is why she's wearing white and black vs blue. I intended to have her in sky blue but Mari beat me to the punch. Frankie was a little upset about Mari putting tack on her too, she was like you're not my mom. Who are you?

I also had horrible stomach cramps last night before and after riding but interestingly not during. I was determined to ride, even though my tummy was angry and my intestines were waging war on my nerves but came through okay. 











Frankie picking up the wrong lead. When I ask her to trot atm from canter, I stop cantering and start posting. The moment after the video ended she started trotting but just wanted to explain why I was posting canter towards the end. I didn't punish her for taking the wrong lead because she did canter and I should have set her up better but 






Frankie and I both got some chiropractic work done yesterday. It was Frankie's first time, she didn't really like it. It scared her but she only had C7 out and I had everything out as usual :lol: my body is a train wreck. I really destroyed it, degenerative disks, arthritis, collapsed arches, I don't know what is technically wrong with my right knee but if I don't work out and do stability exercises it wobbles so badly I walk like a cripple. And chronic tendinitis in my left hip flexor. It's sad but I laugh about it because its already done and I'm pretty pain tolerant because of it.







And Frankie says hi! She's pretty butt high atm, so I'm thinking she's growing. She's currently 16.2h


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## frlsgirl

Lol, I remember Ana's first chiro visit; she was totally offended like "Shouldn't you buy me dinner first?" And "I don't do stuff like that on the first date" lol. She's getting better about it now, I'm sure Frankie will learn to like it as well. 

And her canter is OMG awesome! Ana's canter will never look like that; even on her best day she is more of a leg mover; Frankie really engages her entire body, lowers the hind end and lifts the front. Just beautiful!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- lol that about how Frankie felt too!! She was wide eyed and like excuse you! What are you doing back there? Why are you touching me like this? Frankie is kinda skeptical of people she doesn't know. She's a little like Dante was of if you're not my mother, I don't know that I can trust you.

And thank you. I think she gets her hind leg from her mother because Gracie had a tremendous hind leg and was truly a power house. I kinda see 50/50 her mom and dad's movement in her. Every horse is different in terms of how their body moves. You can definitely improve a canter but it is definitely harder than improving the trot. Dante's canter took a good year+ to get it more uphill and not so on the forehand. He had a ton of hind end engagement but lifting in front was hard. I think the most flexible gaits are trot, then canter, then walk. Very easy to ruin a good walk and hard to improve. 
________________________

No update from last night. Frankie is on an every other day schedule, as she's only 3 and we don't want to over work her.

Also riding Frankie tonight, then she's in the clinic on Saturday. Mari rode Dev either yesterday or today, then I'll ride him tomorrow and Sunday in the clinic. I'm hoping to get some video! We'll see what happens but Pam is coming up from Florida to come watch and see how everyone is doing. So that's super exciting! I think she's excited to see how the babies are doing and her other clients.


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## Tazzie

I'm so glad Frankie was so good in your ride the other night! She is something special  I think an every other day schedule is a good plan!

And man!! I really hope someone can record your rides! I'm dying to see how they go! I'm sure she will be amazing!

That's exciting to hear that Pam is coming up to watch! I'm sure she'll be pleased with how Frankie is doing


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- I think so! We plan on giving her 5-6 days off after the clinic to give her a bit of a mental break because she's essentially broke now! I can't really ride her on my own yet but I'd say she's broke. We just want to make sure she keeps interested and happy. No pressure but I definitely think the 4yr old FEI tests will be achievable by this summer. 

I really hope so too!! Dev and I go today and Sunday and Frankie Saturday. Id love to get video from all 3 days but we'll see if that happens or not. It's still to be decided!
'
I think she will be. She feels like a proud Mama when she gets to see the babies she bred go and I think that's a big part of why I have Frankie and I am hoping the rider at the barn buys Dev. He's a really good-agreeable horse and I can see someone taking advantage of that and being unfair to him in my area. I want him to go to a kind owner. The others I think they'll protect themselves, that's the good thing about horses that are agreeable on condition. A rider can't get away with being unfair or mean and I'm very sensitive to that because I've re-trained horses who have been psychologically damaged and they're never quite the same. Well the geldings adjust but the mares are sometimes ruined, like Frankie's mom or DeNira (Friday, Qira, Qiwi, and Que's mom). I think she had a personality a lot like Dev and Frankie and I honestly think that's why her previous owner didn't die from what she did to her. Still can't believe how much Gracie tolerated. She literally had callouses the size of my palm where the spurs go and they were raised an inch 1/2. She was so incorrectly muscled it was appalling and had a terrible reputation which is why Pam got her practically for free. And people who didn't know Grace thought she was crazy, psycho and difficult when really she'd just put up with so much for so long that she couldnt take it anymore. Just makes me sad. Literally she's someone's trail horse now, so she's happy but some people do terrible things to horses to validate their ego.

And there are definitely moments where sometimes you need to be a little rough to get a point across or to correct certain behavior or some horses you really have to be firm with before they're respectful and some actually like being man handled. I wish I was joking but someone actually like it. But I think that comes back to being fair, I much prefer being gentle and kind and don't like handling horses I have to man handle but if I have to, I'll do what I have to to teach manners and stay safe. It's more harmful to let horses get away with dangerous behavior then to be sharp with them. But that's part of why I dont want to be a professional. I've worked with the dangerous horses who are honestly mean, some really are mean and wicked smart that they're dangerous unless you really know what you're doing, are that on top of things and that aware. Have to be a very skilled handler or you'll get your face mauled off or kicked in the head. Some are very well raised and always have had expert handling and are just nasty.
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Update

Rode Frankie and Dev last night. Both were very light rides. 

Dev was super. He also got a bath and because it was cold, I towel dried him as much as possible and covered him in a quick dry cooler. And used warm water, so Dev did not suffer :lol: he doesn't have much coat but to ride he was a SUPER horse!! He's gotten so much better about reaching out and taking the contact down. Much more laterally flexible, much better attention span and focus. Just super. He felt AMAZING!!

Frankie is getting LOADS stronger, her canter was pretty hard to sit last night. I didn't struggle, it just took a lot to keep quiet. I was like woah that's hard to stay with but the movement felt phenomenal! She's mostly broke and I say she's broke but really I can't ride on her on my own yet. She's getting a bath today or tomorrow. I'll have tons of towels to help dry her and coolers. 

Also links to the 4, 5, and 6yr old FEI tests. They're really pretty achievable.

http://inside.fei.org/system/files/YH4-2009-E_1.pdf

https://www.usef.org/documents/disciplines/dressage/tests/FiveFinalTest.pdf

https://www.usef.org/documents/disciplines/dressage/tests/SixFinalTest.pdf


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright update

Rode in the clinic yesterday and today. Been going quite a bit which is good because I've been so high energy. I feel in a lot of ways like a child again, I've been very bouncy like jack rabbit hopping and running. I'm very pragmatic but mentally the ADHD is worse than it was, which I was told would happen on SSRIs but overall I feel a lot healthier and happier. Just a bit like a squirrel, kinda everywhere at once and have to really slow myself down.

Friday-rode Dev. Dev was SUPER, really phenomenal. I was so pleased with him. The clinician said alright you've done a really good job with him, I don't feel like there are any steps missing, so we're going to address the next step and so we started working on developing collection. So lots of transitions within trot, of hey 2-3 steps of him trotting very small on his hind end then letting him out, trotting more engaged through the half halt and letting him go. We're focusing on stepping it up. He said he stretching into the bridle really well, he's using his neck correctly and dropping in the poll has been addressed so shorten him up and expect more. Do that extra degree which may sound crazy on a 4yr old but it's what he needs so as a 5yr old he has collection and the basics to propel him forward. If you trot round and never expect anything more, than he's never going to progress. Advance as is appropriate and he shows he's ready for. Unfortunately no video of Dev and I. I would have loved video but I'm hoping tomorrow I will. We'll see. But he was pleased with my riding and that's really nice to hear sometimes from someone like him, that I'm doing a good job.

Frankie-Saturday. She was really super, we didn't do any canter but a lot of walk-trot transitions and focusing on me lightening my seat, being quiet in the walk and really getting her sharper off the aids. She's still not 100% sure what the aids mean so she's learning to work forward and react but much better. This next week she's having off and then we're going to start hacking her out, doing polls, cavaletti's, etc to expose her and switch up the program and keep her interested in work. I was told honestly she goes better than most 4yr olds, she's doing great. Yes. We officially labeled her broke as of Thursday.

I think I'll eventually get a different saddle, I don't think this is the right fit for me. It's good right now but down the road I think I'm going to want something a bit deeper because this one just isn't quite supportive enough if that makes sense. I like this saddle on different horses but on Frankie I don't feel like it's quite right. Again not worrying about it right now but as a down the road type of thing when she is older and schooling at a higher level. I need something a bit deeper.

As a 3yr old all she really needs to do is go, stop and steer and maybe move off the leg. Maybe not like a leg yield but to just get the idea of it. We worked on that too and we have work on that but doing it a little each day and not pressing or drilling the issue is very important.

Lunging before ride.














Can you tell she's my baby? She wanted to cuddle after the ride and my parents wanted a shot of me and her so mission accomplished.


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## Tihannah

Loved the video of Frankie from the clinic. She's coming along so nicely. As I watch you riding and talking to her, it reminded me of working with Tess. I often find that she listens better when I add verbal cues, but I think I don't do it enough! I enjoyed listening to the clinician as well and was trying to take mental notes as I watched!  Dev sounds like he's going to be a fantastic horse! Someone is going to be very lucky to get him!

Sorry to hear about your ADHD, but so glad you're feeling better! When my stress and anxiety levels go up (which is more often than not), I have trouble with my short term memory and getting foggy brained. Sometimes it gets so bad, its scary, where I lose moments in time. It's something I've been dealing with for years and not many people know about. I think riding helps it a lot because it gives me the release I need from all that eats at me.

Love the pics with Frankie! I think you two are going to be a very special team!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- Thank you. She's very willing to learn and wants to do a good job. I think down the road she can be trained to be quite sensitive. Dev was pretty dull for a while but he can be sharp and VERY sensitive, I think they're both horses that will ride as sensitively or as dull as they're asked to be. Right now Frankie is still working out the whole go forward thing but the transitions will make her more responsive and get it more, plus the downward transitions which she wasn't too eager about lol. She's like I'm going, why are we stopping? But yes and also a big point of his was train them to respond to how light you want your aid to be, use a light leg aid then use your whip as many times as it takes to get a reaction then after you get the forward, downward transition and do it again, so she responds from light cues. Upwards transition, lifting up chest, slightly opening hip and light leg. Walk, no shoving or making the motion, make her forward off leg and not seat or she'll always need a driving seat. But yes talking to them is good for reinforcing your cues, especially if they know verbal cues but don't quite understand physical aids.

It definitely does. Riding is a good stress relief and so important to have an outlet and something that makes you excited each and every day. But that is very true of anxiety, it put you in a totally different mind set and point of view. It's so hard to be rational and concentrate when in that frame of mind, I know that's why I sought treatment because I couldn't cope. But I also think in this incredibly stressful, knowledge and pressure based system we live in now anxiety is continuing to become more and more common. It's really sad :|

But thank you  I think so too. She suits me really well, her personality and how she is just suits me. I just really enjoy working with her and she is just nice for me to ride, she's very-very green and doesn't really steer but she's willing and has a desire to do a good job. I don't know how to explain it but I feel like our partnership is just harmonious and we're a good match. She needs a confidence booster and also needs a clear and fair direction. 

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Here is some more of the lesson on Frankie. I was SUPER proud of her, she's never really had an audience before and she handled it very well. Sometimes she can be looky and nervous but she's very laid back. Moray gives some excellent advice. He's truly an excellent horseman. His lessons are really excellent, he talks at you a lot but they're so practical.

He's a really excellent instructor, so much extra stuff to work on with a clear direction to work on. He strongly encouraged hacking her out and doing cavaletti and poll work to keep her interested in things and it's good for horses to have an all-around education which I really like about the British system. A horse who is a dressage horse should also be able to be a horse and go hacking, out on trails and have the basics of jumping. We're not jumping her now but we're going to keep her well rounded. My hope this spring is to take her out trail riding before show season and have her go to the jumping barn Dante was at for 2 weeks, just to gain exposure and again keep her well rounded. I think it's so important for young horses to be educated in a variety of things, not just we go into the arena and do flat work.
















I'm hoping to get some video of my lesson on Dev. I REALLY want video of me riding him because he is a COMPLETELY different horse from the last time we were videoed, he uses himself so much better and so much more consistently. Plus it's a lot of good information in our lessons for me to apply to him and watching the videos helps me remember some of the details of the lesson and what I was feeling, what made it better, etc.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright and here is the update from yesterday the last day in the clinic.

Here are the Dev videos. There are 4 and fairly long but there is some really good information from Moray who is a brilliant instructor. I felt like I got a lot out of our rides. My mother videoed them with her tablet which is why the quality isnt as good, my phone has excellent video/picture quality. Dev is between 16.2 and 16.3h I'm not 100% atm how tall he is but he's definitely grown but I don't think he's quite 16.3h

Some of the exercises we did are not exercises you do every day but exercises to educate and he did get behind the vertical a bit in addressing these issues but as Moray said, you have to address these issues now or he's never going to develop that trapezius muscle and really work over his back correctly in collection. Obviously we aren't training him to be there but sometimes you have to focus on other things because the point isn't his nose position, it's teaching him the proper response to aids and how to use his body correctly. It's the end result and education that matters. You educate so it gets easier for them. Also in the spiral circles the reason he gets behind is because he's got so much coming from behind and he's trying to work out how to sit on his hind legs and work the trapezius muscle which is a bit weak and makes it hard for him to carry himself for a long time. It happens not from me being strong or riding badly, it's just a step in learning so we can again develop that trapezius muscle and improve his technique and way of going. We know he can stretch and use himself well without the sit but we have to develop that to progress.

We also had a discussion about how people really don't understand what behind the vertical is or really understand mechanics or training but they think they do and have very passionate opinions with the experience or education. This guy has one of the top certifications in BHS and is simply phenomenal. VERY VERY kind/fair to the horses, very fair. We both agreed against rolkur but we're for training and educating to what the horse understands. If you're teaching a horse to bend and they get a bit behind but that's what they need to learn, is that more kind than never addressing the issue and letting it go on and on without ever being fixed? Nagging about an issue without making a point.
















This was our end of lesson conversation about riding/developing horses. And talking about behind the vertical. We're against rolkur but we are for educating the horse to understand and to focus on more than where the nose is. Obviously we aren't riding for the horse to be behind but if he goes there for a few moments when learning then that's a step we have to go through. A lot of people wont go through that, saying it's wrong and well it's wrong if the horse doesn't learn to really use it's back.






I have also encountered a problem with the babies, I think they think I'm their mom. I had some issues giving attention to Dev and Friday who were in stalls next to each other. Dev was like oh thank you for the pets and scratches, can we cuddle and Friday popped his head out like where have you been, I missed you. So I went to pay attention to Friday and give him Kisses (he LOVES kisses), he kisses you back with his lip. So Dev started pawing and was like nope that's my mom! It was cute but I'm trying to make sure I pay attention to the babies. Frankie is on the other side of the barn, so she didn't see but I did greet a mare before her and she was NOT okay with that. She's pretty possessive, so when I did go and see her she put her chin on top of my head and was like my mom. So lots of kisses and scratches, she's started kissing back for nose kisses which is pretty cute.

I'm getting Saturday going again. He's broke now but getting him going again and Friday needs to be checked to see if he's sound now. He played to rough with Saturday and hurt himself about a month ago, so I'm hoping he's better.

I learned a lot from Moray and really enjoyed my rides with him, I felt like I got a lot of really good information out of it without stressing the horses. I felt like the work was very fair. I think sometimes it's good to push horses past limits and then back up and relax a bit, so you don't over whelm them. Pressure on occasional rides then let them get comfortable with the new material and then introduce new stuff and raise the bar again.

Dev and I worked through a lot today, we're working on improving his technique and focusing more on the collected aspect. We know he has big beautiful paces but what we need to work on developing is his ability to collect. He has to sit and emphasize collection. 

Moray said Frankie is going to find collection very easy, where as Dev has to work at it because it is harder for him to collect than it is for Frankie. He certainly has the capacity and ability, it's just going to take longer to develop in him. Frankie's more compact and very much so a power mover vs Dev is going to be more of a suspension mover.

I call them both my kids and love them very much. Both are very good babies.


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## frlsgirl

Yay - it sounds like Frankie is really coming along.

At what point are you going to refer to her as "broke"? She seems broke to me just from looking at the videos and reading your journal. Is there a manual somewhere that trainers refer to classify levels of greenness/brokeness? 

How lucky are you that you got two ride your own horse plus a project horse in the clinic?!? I'm pretty impressed with the Brits when it comes to Dressage, they really seem to know their stuff. Up until recently, we only had one Gold Medalist in Oklahoma and she is a transplant from England; a very determined a motivated lady with an excellent seat. 

Awww, that's so cute that they are getting possessive over you. I think horses know and recognize their "regulars" for lack of a better word; when I first brought Ana to my current barn Dante seemed kind of hurt that I have Ana now. It's always awkward when I'm grooming Ana and someone walks Dante in; he just gives me this perplexed stare, like "oh, hello, man this is awkward" lol. I still stop by his stall sometimes and dote on him a little bit


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## Tazzie

I'm so glad the clinic rides went well!! He seems like such an informative guy! And definitely fair 

One day we will make it out there and have a clinic ride :lol: I've at least prewarned Nick haha!

Also glad you plan to have Frankie be an all around horse. I know Dressage is the focus, of course, but letting her do other things is great!! I hope you guys enjoy hacking out together  and glad you seem to be in a better state of mind!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- She is. She's been so good. I introduced her to polls today, that was terribly scary for her but we got over it and kept walking over it (in hand) until it was boring and old news. She also let me put it away while handling her, so that's good. 

When I consider a horse broke, for me they need to be able to be ridden without a ground person to assist. That they have a basic understand of start, stop and turn. Frankie until last Thursday I wouldn't have considered broke because I still needed a ground person to get her going. And I don't think there is an official rule book for what is considered green or broke, I think it varies from person to person. But to me I feel more like I know it when I feel it. If that makes sense? Like most people if they sat on Frankie probably wouldn't be able to steer or keep her appropriately balanced or in a consistent rhythm or keep her on the rail. It's very different riding a barely broke baby to a horse who is simply green. 

But I'm very grateful to be riding/training the babies and working with them. I don't really consider them projects because they're learning for the first time. Dev is a tricky ride but he's a very good boy. He's tricky because it takes a lot of skill to ride him which is part of why I like him so much. He's a very good horse but if you're at all off in your timing it's obvious. He's easily distracted and the aids need to be subtle. For example steering is tricky on him because he's naturally more stiff and rigid and getting him up and over his back comes from collection and half halts vs sending forward. If you just carry a connection and send him forward without organizing and all the half halts he goes like giraffe and can't turn or go forward but organize him and he will gain confidence and try his heart out for you.

But I definitely agree. I love the British style horsemanship and riding, from what I've experienced (my trainer is BHS certified and was there for 8yrs) is they're very practical but fair to the horses. It's a do as little as possible but do what's necessary type of thing and very common sense and geared towards how can we make the horse understand? Compassion for the horse but also don't treat them like glass dolls or delicate, just good rugged horses.

And definitely I definitely think they know who loves them and who cares for them. And mares I think are very much so loving having a person to bond to and love. I think they love having someone.
__________________

Katie- He really is. He also solved my friend's mare's problem where she'd be a little off warming up and we all thought maybe she's developing arthritis but no she just didn't like the cavesson or flash which isn't harsh or tight but they removed it and instantly clean flying changes. No funny business starting out and she was altogether much more fluid. We were all so surprised at the stuff he's able to work out, he reads the horse's so well it's incredible. Really an amazing teacher and I think if you do come out, well worth the money. You definitely get a good education without over taxing or stressing out the horse.

And thank you. I think varying what we do will really make Frankie a better and happier dressage horse. I think a well rounded horse is a happier horse. She doesn't need to be in the arena all the time, she needs to be a horse and getting out and doing stuff will make her more broke and exposed to things too. Eventually I'd like to take her out trail riding and do some jumping/cross training but my trainer's have the plan and I just obey atm :lol: 
__________________

Update

So I'm getting Saturday (name) going again and hopefully Friday (name) will be going again soon. But lunged Saturday first and he was really good so I got on. My saddle fits him like a glove. I was surprised, he's SUPER wide but my saddle was Dante's so it's between a W and XW. Frankie wears it with shims and a fleece pad. Ride was going really well until he got a little tired and he went straight up on his legs and I thought he was going to fall on top of me. That was scary. I don't know why other than he was tired. I didn't carry a whip because I was told he's funny about it, so I was like well I'll leave one on the wall if I need it and he was really being very good. So after he did that I walked a bit, changed direction, etc and went back into trot both ways and got off. I had my friend watch me after he did that just in case something happened but I think he'll get better. I think he's young and green. Dante used to rear too and he stopped, so I think Saturday will too. He's not a mean horse at all. I also gave him a bath and cut his mane, tail etc. He was filthy and ragged looking. I also braided his mane to the right to try to train it. He looks like a proper horse now. I really should have gotten before and after pics but he was SO happy to have the attention. He gave me LOTS of kisses and hugs. He loved his bath! He just seemed happy. He is quirky and he's a half arab but he isn't mean, just I don't know how to describe him. On the ground you have to be pretty sharp, aggressive with him or he will just run you over but under saddle he needs encouragement and reassurance but at the same time you have to be very firm and black/white. No negotiations but absoluty don't force or make him, just ask and encourage.

Also have to praise the centaur turbo dry cooler, it makes bathing in winter so much better because it really does dry the horse quickly and we have a heated barn and heated water so the horse's do not suffer. I bathe less during winter but if they're so dirty that they absolutely need a bath they get one.

Also did in hand work with Frankie. We walked over a poll and she was very scared of that at first but we kept doing it back and forth and on a circle, trotted it over it and now she's fine. I put it down and put it away with her in hand, have to get used to that. Also asked her to move off the right side quite a bit because leg yield left she gets but right she doesnt. So in hand stuff to help her work it out.

Tonight I'm riding Dev, Frankie we're doing some in hand stuff and I'm probably going to work Saturday too.

Friday and Dev. I was paying attention to Friday and Dev started pawing his door.



Brand new baby Dev



Baby Dev and Frankie's mom. Believe it or not she's half tb and her sire is leggy and lean.



baby Friday playing



And of course baby Frankie







and Gracie (Frankie's mom). She was such a tank and SO powerful. I really liked her. And Frankie at her inspection. She was site champion filly.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Last night

lunged Saturday. He was very good. I lunged him in draw reins and had them a hair tighter than I usually have them (they were by no means tight, he gave at the poll, not held) but it did make him deep in his back. I did this to challenge him and see how he'd behave because I wanted to address confrontation from the ground and have him work through things from the ground. I wanted to see how he works through challenging situations because to me this is stuff that has to be addressed. At the end of the day, I want him to be a very well mannered, fun and good horse to ride. When he was tired I kept him working, if he had a tantrum we just worked through it and it was done and over with very quickly and he was really-really good. Much softer expression in his face, licking, chewing and after we were done gave me kisses and cuddles. He trusts and respects me, absolutely no pushy behavior. Listened, really wanted to please. We did some in hand lateral work. I also had him on the lunge line trot and canter 10m circles and leg yield out and really made him bend, sit and use his hind legs. He honestly seemed super happy, he had a great attitude and honestly I was impressed by how hard a work ethic and desire to please he has. He's grown up a lot since I last worked with him. He's really very sweet and has a wonderful work ethic.

Also rode Dev who was AWESOME! I had to really work at it but it was a good ride. His canter was by far the best it's ever been. He sat a lot more and I really focused on effective half halts and with him in the canter really focused on being let loose/supple in my lower back and I don't know how to explain it other than on the turns and coming away, strong core/lower back half halt, really engaging my back and bringing my elbows into my rib cage half halt and release. Engaging half halt, get the reaction and release and his canter was by far the most uphill and balanced it's ever been. We also did lateral work and trotted down centerline and finished with a perfect square halt. I was so pleased. Trot to halt, really stepped into the halt and was square. I was really proud, Mari said great halt and when I got off I saw how square he was and how under himself he was and was like go Dev!! He's a good boy and I always carry a whip but I honestly never or rarely use it on him, he used to be super dull to the leg and honestly he exhausted me to just get him forward and now he's very responsive and listens which is nice. He's fun to ride and actually bend properly now. Right still takes more to ride but a lot of improvement.

It's neat because I feel like I've improved a ton over the weekend, doing the clinic. I feel like I have added a lot of tools into my toolkit and learned a lot. I'm so glad I did it. Plus Mari helped me out with Dev too. Giving me some tips and pointers as I rode that really helped make a difference. I told her thank you, I love being told what I'm doing wrong and how to make it better.


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## PoptartShop

Yayyyy that is awesome!!!! You should be super proud of yourself!!! It's always good to get constructive criticism, it's really beneficial.
So happy for you guys <3


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## Tazzie

He really does sound like he'd be worth coming to! One day! Just sadly not anytime soon :lol: I'm glad taking the flash caveson off helped so much to get better changes too!

And yes! I'm sure Frankie will like the mental break! Definitely stick to the plan best you can at least!

I'm glad everyone did well though! Dev just sounds so fun, and I'm sure Saturday will get back into it  good babies!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Poptartshop-Absolutely. I like it when I ride on my own but my trainer is in the arena and can offer some pointers that I implement and teach me something or make me pay attention to a new detail and a better reaction but at the same time work through it on my own. It's a good balance.
_________________

Katie- For sure! He's really really good and offers a fresh perspective. I'm glad it helped her out too, we were just all shocked that was the answer lol. It was so simple, vet has looked at her and it was just that.

Oh yeah. We look at it as Frankie knows everything she really needs to know as a 3yr old. The rest will be keeping her interest in work and providing varying work to improve her balance, coordination and help her face new challenges and gain confidence. 

Thank you. Me too. Dev is fun. He's a lot to organize and ride but fun because he is so able, athletic and smart. You have to be physically very strong in your legs, core and position. He's also one where if you just hold contact and send him forward he'll just hollow out his back with head straight up and not be able to turn. Collection in the dressage sense enables him, just sending him forward puts him on his forehand and makes him tight and stiff (unable to turn). So it's timing, half halts, and effective organization. A little off and it's obvious, so he's really good to ride. Challenging but rewarding and fun because he has such a good attitude and is just fun to work with. I've improved a lot riding him. Aids need to be pretty direct, black/white. And I think Saturday will come along, I think he may be better off as a hunter jumper. He moves like a nice arabian hunter and he loves polls. Gets very confident and after his first time over polls could find his distance almost every time. He has an incredible jumping canter. Definitely a canter you want to go to a fence on.
_________________

Update

Just lunged Saturday because he was slightly back sore. I didn't want to get on him when I'm trying to get him to associate riding with good things and positive experiences, I may carry treats on me when I ride him but I lunged him over a poll and did some ground work and he LOVED poll work. 

Also working on finals and in general rounding things up for the semester. Will be riding Frankie tonight after she's had 5 days off. Should be fun.


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## PoptartShop

Good luck on your finals!!  I hope Frankie knows she's getting put to work tonight! LOL!


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## Tazzie

I can understand that though. Izzie feels trapped in a flash caveson. HATES it. I have just a plain caveson on it, and it's so loose you could spin it around on her face if it wasn't secured by the cheek pieces. Shocked the heck out of my friend when I showed her that just before she hopped on :lol:

Sounds like a great plan!

He sounds difficult! Definitely one I'd be hesitant to ride :lol: he sounds fun, but I'm not always perfect on my timing. With Izzie I'm pretty good, but it's been so long since I rode someone else's horse! And Saturday does sound like he'd be better off as a jumper! Some horses you can just feel that is what they want to do with their lives 

I think you made a good call with Saturday as well. Keep him happy with his riding! And good luck with your finals and riding tonight!


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## DanteDressageNerd

poptartshop- Thank you, I definitely need it when I have essentially no attention span to just buckle down. I HATE studying lol. 
______________________

Katie- I can imagine it would. Mine aren't tight either, my flash on Frankie isn't snug either. I just have it just in case, so she doesn't form any bad habits. But some horses are really funny about nose bands and have surprising things that upset them. I know my friend in trying the total comfort noseband to see if her mare likes it. I know it makes a big difference on some horses and it's ridiculously expensive but if it makes a big difference I can see why people spend the money. 

I think so. Id rather take my time making her well rounded and complete then to just push her up the levels and be like hey look what I can do with this baby horse which some people do and it's sad. I know a lady who had her 5yr old inappropriately 3rd level with her trainer and as a 6yr old claims he's schooling PSG. He had the movements but he has quite a few holes in his training. 

He is but in a good way. I think you'd enjoy taking lessons on him because he makes mistakes obvious in a way on other horses you can get away with. He's not nasty about any mistakes, just honest about them which makes him really nice to work with and ride. He just makes the details that much more apparent and important, he really reflects any minor mistakes but it gives you a great opportunity to get better and learn. And I can imagine, it does get tricky to adapt when you get used to riding one type of horse and getting used to how they ride because every horse comes with their own manual. There is some cross over but somethings are unique to that horse or horse's like them or some are just their own breed of patented manual lol.

But I agree I think they tell you and you can kinda get a sense of what direction would be good for them. I can't really see Saturday being an eventer but he has great stamina and I could be VERY wrong. I just want him to like riding, he loves work and having a job. He's VERY eager to please and do a good job. But thank you! I hope I can get myself focused better :lol:

Frankie says life is rough


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## Tihannah

I don't know how I got so far behind on your journal, but that was a great read! Lol. I still haven't had a chance to watch Dev's clinic videos, but since I'm not going to the barn tonight, I'm going to watch them with headphones in so I can hear what the clinician is saying.

The baby pics are so freakin adorable! I would be so attached to all of them. It's so sweet how they fight over you! I think they are all very lucky to have you bring them along though and I really enjoy reading about them. 

And oh geez! How scary that Saturday went up on you! That terrifies me. A buck? I'm like, "Yea, okay, we can work through this." But when a horse goes up (not that its happened to me yet), it terrifies me that they're gonna fall backwards on me or the rider. I've seen it in so many videos!

Your barn sounds incredible! I so wish we had heated indoor and hot water to bathe the horses. All our horses are just filthy through the cold months unless they get caught out in the rain or something! Lol.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- I imagine you're busy and have a lot on your plate and I really updated quite a lot this week with less class work (well procrastinating from studying). Studying is painful for me because it doesnt really give me something to dial in and focus on. But I updated a lot with the clinic and sharing the videos. I think the Dev ones will be really helpful, I learned a TON in that clinic. A lot of it is subtle things but he just gives so much good information and useful/purposeful exercises.

And thank you. Yes I'm attached to all of them. We have 7 in total. Friday and Satuday 2011, Qira and Dev 2012, Qiwi and Frankie 2013 and Que 2015. I call Dev, Frankie, Friday and Saturday my babies :lol: I know them all really well. I do refer to a few as my kids though lol. I'm going to be sad when they go but I'm also not paying their bills and know they were bred to be sold. Except Frankie, she stays with me of course. I want Dev to sell to a lady at the barn, she's riding him/taking lessons on him this week but I'm hoping she ends up buying him. He'll have a great home and life.

And yeah, no it is scary. You can't have an extreme reaction to it or that can make it worse. I've learned to be so neutral when horses do stuff like that, I just work through it because if you don't the behavior escalates. I'm hoping that was a one off but my goal is to make him safe/rideable and easy for someone to ride. Dante grew out of it and I think Saturday can too. 

But thank you it really is nice! I originally came to this barn on a vet's recommendation when I moved from Washington state 9yrs ago. I originally wanted to go to a different barn but it was too expensive and the vet said go to this place and I'm so glad I did. Pam didn't have any upper level or fancy horses then, it takes time to get a place going and establish yourself. She's BHS certified, trained in the UK for 8yrs eventing and exercised racehorses. She also has NO tolerance for gossip or rude behavior that goes on at some barns. All the horses and people get treated the same, regardless of how much money they have. She also kicks out people who disrupt the peace.And the heated barn is sort of necessary with how cold it can get. It gets really cold and if the barn wasnt heated, the pipes would freeze.''

___________

Update: rode Frankie. I think I need a new saddle because my saddle is just way too wide for her. Ive shimmed it up but I think she's just going to need something different because it's just too wide (it's Dante's old one so it's between a W and an XW). She was really good for having 5 days off, she was spooky but I kept her focus so no spooking. Don't want to teach her to spook. She had a hard time picking up the canter but was good. Had a harder time keeping her at the rail and she was a bit crabby about working :lol: she's had 5 days off so I can't say I blame her but she definitely does better with semi-regular work. Hopefully hacking her on Saturday if the weather permits it.

Saturday had yesterday off.


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## Tazzie

I understand that. Izzie just didn't like the feeling of not being able to open her mouth. If she can't open her mouth, she gets majorly stressed. It annoys me when she opens her mouth when she's anxious, but it really is a LOT worse when it's tighter. Need to keep her happy lol and yeah. I can't stomach that cost right now, even if it'd make an enormous difference on Izzie. One of those I'd rather try it before I buy it.

Yeah, I've thought that with some horses. I know we are far behind where others would be with my horse, but for her mental happiness I'm not moving faster. I really like that you want to make Frankie well rounded. I think she'll be even happier that way.

Maybe I'd be brave enough :lol: he really sounds wonderful. I do like that he would make your weaknesses known. And yeah, I've gotten so used to riding Izzie. I really would love to ride others, just no opportunities really.

Saturday sounds wonderful! I think he'd enjoy jumping. He sounds like just a great boy!

Frankie is just such a doll!

Good luck finding a saddle for Frankie! I'm sure you'll find one fairly easy since she has a more normal back! And silly baby! But glad she was overall good!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- that makes sense to me. Whatever works best for the horse and makes them comfortable and I'm with you I couldn't justify spending that much for a noseband but I understand it when my friend thought shed have to get her mare injected because she was warming up off and it turned out to just be the noseband.

I wouldn't worry about it. This is you and Izzie's journey, she could be further with someone else or she could be way behind sitting in a field somewhere. We do our best and honestly some horses need more time than others to develop, there's nothing wrong with that. And thank you. I think so. I just want her to be with me in twenty years and to keep enjoying her work. They have to enjoy it or it's not fun.

I think youd really enjoy riding him. I have no idea how it'd be but I think youd have fun and really enjoy the lesson. I think it's a good lesson anytime you learn something. But that makes sense, I feel very fortunate to have the riding opportunities I do. I like getting paid too but it's not a permanent thing and I wonder how much more I'll ride Dev if he sells. And that makes me sad but at least Saturday is going and hopefully Friday will be going soon too.

I think he is. I really like him, everyone else thinks he's just a jerk but I think he's a good boy. Maybe he's like Dante was, if he likes you and you've put him in line enough he likes and respect you and if you haven't he's a jerk. 

She really is. She's hysterical, she always makes me laugh. I tried to pet a horse on the opposite side of her and she stuck her nose through the little hole to make sure I knew she was there and I had to pet both at the same time. I try to pet the horse next to her because his family never comes out and he's not ridden, so he doesn't get loved on a whole lot and he's a really sweet horse. So I give him pets when I have time. I just feel bad for him because he's really people oriented.

Thank you. I may try some of my friend's saddles when she comes back. Im not really shopping yet but I want to try some of hers so I know which model and tree width I want. Frankie is getting wider and thicker and I think she will be stout. I don't think she'll be Dante wide but she's going to be a big girl. Her feet are getting bigger and her legs are looking thicker. I don't know if she'll be as stout as her mom but I think she's going to be a powerhouse. 
________________________

I don't have much of an update but I was very very stupid and ate gluten products and felt really-really sick. I thought eh it's no big deal, I'll be fine and within about an hr or so I started feeling nauseated and fatigued. I'm SO mad. There is a lot of food I love that I can't have :/ I'm a picky eater, so this makes it irritating but I don't like feeling sick and half a person either.

Ive also watched more Star Trek than I care to admit. I love the original series and next generation. I like the new movies but I feel like the characters really lack development and it's more special effects than what I love about Star Trek and it's adventuring other worlds, learning what it means to be humans. Putting situations in context, tough decisions, leadership, morality and complicated interesting characters. 

I rode Saturday tonight and he was really good. Lots of transition, we even cantered. I didn't ask but encouraged letting the trot get bigger and bigger until it became easier for him to canter. I did not feel safe on him asking him to canter directly and I'd rather teach him good reactions than to simply push him to do something. My biggest goal is to train willingness, trust, and dependability. I know he likes me a lot and respects me and honestly his behavior isn't out of meanness but him expressing opinions, so I'm using tact. Pushing him through it isnt going to be productive but being patient, encouraging and positive is. I keep horse cookies on me too, so when he's good I give him a cookie. I want him to associate riding and direction with good things and reward. I want to re-train his responses, so he is a willing partner vs an obstinate or angry one. He's quirky but there are a lot of good things about him. I carried a whip, I only hit my boot or thigh when I used it. I didn't touch him with it because he kicks out even from a touch and again I think you pick a fight with this horse and everything becomes a fight. I think he's a horse you have to work with and encourage and he'll do anything for you but you have to take your time and not expect it all at once or blind obedience. I like him a lot and I think he's a really good horse. Im also not saying he doesn't need to be put in line sometimes but I think it has to be objective and to show him the line vs picking a fight and putting him on the defensive. If that makes sense, I think it's a line an experienced person gets but is sometimes hard to explain. You know it when you feel it. I also think a big part of it is choosing priorities and what's most important to address. In negotiations you seldom get everything you want but if you get 70-75% that's pretty dam# good. I also think he's very sensitive to what people think of him and if you approach him in a kind, loving way. He's very sensitive to energy and I think he knows how a person feels about him and responds accordingly. People might think I'm nuts, some horses arent that sensitive but he is. He definitely knows if someone doesnt like him and he knows if someone does.

Playing with Saturday because he's my friend, I was jogging backwards.






I also spent time with Frankie and cleaned her up and loved on her. I was told we're really goofy together and personality wise just suit each other. Frankie is as weird and goofy as I am but in a nice way. She's such a cuddle bug, I scratched her chest while she rested her chin on my back and scratched it :lol: she loves having her own stall and her own person. She's my princess but she doesn't have a princess attitude. Good manner (for the most part), still 3 and still has to be shown the way but a good girl.


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## whisperbaby22

Some of those old cheesy Star Trek shows were really good. I think the best one was where the crew set down on a planet that the bad guys were ripping up, and the local inhabitants tried to get our guys to butt out. Kirk kept saying "but they are slaughtering you!". At the end, the locals discovered that the human form they had adopted to be able to communicate with everybody had confused our guys, they were really not human and could not be killed. Spock said that these beings are as far above us as we are above the ants. 

If you think about it, there are other worlds right here on this planet, at this time, and ours is not the end all be all of it. Kind of keeps your thinking open, and not so self centered.


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- That's what I like about Star Trek, it expands horizons and perspectives. It's very broadening. Interesting situations and hypotheticals. It's fun and actually makes you think or consider unusual possibilities or problems. Spock is definitely my favorite, I like the interaction between him, Kirk and Dr McCoy. I think they bring a lot of balance and perspective together.
_______________________

Update

Rode Saturday. He was great!! Cantered both directions but I'm pretty sure he needs to see the chiropractor. Right he feels great, left he feels stuck and a lot less willing to move forward. He's been really good. We had really nice figures of 8 and good circles. Cantered both ways, leg yield, shoulder fore, transitions, etc. He's on the list for the chiropractor. I really hope it helps him!! He's actually quite a nice horse. I think he's a nicer horse than he gets credit for. He feels pretty fancy when he gets going. He had some really impressive strides going right and I hope once he sees the chiropractor we'll have that going left too. I'd love to get some video of him undersaddle sometime. He's really a good guy! Quirky and sensitive, yes but he means well. Encouragement goes far with him.

Frankie also did her very first hack and first time being ridden outside!! It was getting dark, it was windy and very gently raining. It felt like European weather but she was great!! We went out with Bailey and Mari. We had a great time, Frankie needed a lot of encouragement and praise. She did get nervous/worried but pets and encouragement and confidence and she was great. Gotta make her brave. My plan in Spring it to take her to the jumping barn Dante was at for about 2 weeks to expose her to more and start her over polls and cross rails. I think itll be really good for her and help her learn and keep interested in life. 

Also have to make a few different cupcakes for the Christmas party. I'm making 3 different kinds but having trouble figuring out the 3rd type.

1st chocolate whiskey cupcakes
2nd cookie dough chocolate cupcakes
3rd I'd like to make a kind of white cake or maybe lemon? OR something I have no idea what to make.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright not much of an update. I had a stay at home, non barn day. My cat may have laid on me for a little while. She's my snuggle cat. Tomorrow however I will be riding Saturday, Dev, and Frankie.

I decided I would make

1 chocolate whiskey cupcakes, 2 chocolate cookie dough cupcakes, and 3 mimosa cupcakes for the Christmas party on Saturday. I love to bake and I am proud to say my baked goods are as good as a good local bakery. I make my own because gluten free cupcakes that actually taste good are SO SO hard to find and mine I make with coconut sugar, gluten free flour, and coconut oil. Except white cake I usually use butter and regular sugar. Chocolate cakes taste good with coconut sugar and oil though. And homemade butter cream frosting, I do something a little different with mine so it tastes more like something between a butter cream and whipped cream frosting. I'm making the cookie dough, so that cupcake I think will be the most labor intensive. I promised one of the girl's at the barn I'd make them for her sometimes and that time has come. She said you promised!! 

Frankie is having a good Christmas this year. I bought her a new bridle, it was very reasonably priced (under 100 but really nice) but I got her a new one because Dante's old one is a little too tight on her face and pushing into her cheekbones and it's not as adjustable as I'd like. She also got a new white show pad and polo wraps (my other white pair is wearing out), new lunge line, and browband for her new bridle. And I actually bought a new competition coat, my other one is twenty years old so I thought it might be time :lol: I also might be showing in my Marine dress blue uniform. I checked it's show legal and my trainer thinks it's a great idea, just have to find a way to pin down the medals, so they don't make a ton of noise or bounce. It will most likely be a month before any of it is delivered but I'm very excited!! 

It really didn't cost as much as you'd probably think. Trust me I'm WAY too cheap and have way too cheap of habits (besides horses) to waste money without finding a deal I couldn't pass up. I was raised by a German family, frugality is in the upbringing. It's value for buy.

She also now has a heavy blanket for this winter.


I did not spend a ton of money on all this. Im from a German family, we're very big into getting a good value on what we buy. For example lungeline was $10 and the kinda I've wanted for a while but was always in the 20-30 range so I couldn't justify it.

Also horsey kisses.

I was told Frankie really suits me because she's as dorky as I am. She looks almost black in person atm. When we hacked her outside she looked black.



scalp massage



And Saturday kisses


Saturday's mane. It was halfway down his neck and on both sides, so I train it to the right and cut it.


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## frlsgirl

She looks so cute in the blanket. Couldn't find a pink blanket? It seems like most horse blankets are made for geldings; blue or green. Ana is in a giant blue blanket right now. Happy to hear that you are getting along so well with Frankie; getting along with your horse is so important.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Im not sure how she likes it but nope. No colorful blanket in a price range I could stomach and of the quality I wanted. Pretty blanket colors are super expensive and you can find good deals in less flashy colors :lol: blue is a good neutral color. I think they make a lot of neutral color blankets. Lots of basics colors.

I get along with most horses but Frankie is a special bond. I love a lot of personality. She also took my pink hat off and played with it.


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## Tazzie

Oh yeah! On that horse I'd try it before injections! It's such an easy thing to try really! Izzie hasn't led me to believe I need that, so not about to spend the money :lol:

Very true! I do think you and Frankie will still be enjoying it in 20 years  I'm so happy you guys have each other!

I'm sure I'd learn a lot. And yeah, you have some pretty cool riding opportunities! That is true you may not get to ride Dev often after he sells, but maybe once in a while? I am glad Saturday is going well!

That could be! Some horses just need to know there are boundaries, and if you don't set them, they will never behave!

Awww, poor pony  I'm glad you love on him though! Silly Frankie though!

Trying saddles sounds like a great plan! I hope you can figure something out! I bet she's going to be a big girl though!

I totally understand about Saturday. I've often said that about Izzie when people are like "why don't you just do it??" I say it's not worth that fight, that it'll come. And it will with Saturday as well. Positive stuff is FAR more beneficial than just doing it. I'm glad you were able to work him into the canter though! Whatever way works that gets him confident is the best way! I sure hope the chiropractor can see him and see whats going on!

Frankie just sounds like such a ham!! I SOO want to meet her one day! I love goofy horses! Frankie is SO adorable in her winter blanket! I love the blue! Though, I'm partial to that color :lol: I love the bridle you picked, and think it'll be STUNNING on her! Can't wait to see the browband though!! I think you got some great deals!

And you're welcome to ship some cupcakes my way :lol: those sound delicious!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- that makes sense to me. Why spend the money if it isn't necessary.

I really hope so. I just love her and enjoy her, she makes me laugh. But thank you, I'm happy we have each other too 

He's a good one to ride because he's pretty honest and definitely points out holes. I hope I can continue riding him and puttin training rides on him after he sells, I feel like we're accomplishing a lot and progressing. And Saturday is a special cookie. He has an interesting mind. On one hand he wants to please and on the other he is obstinate and absolutely wants to see how far he can go to get his way. So I'm trying to teach him obedience and train him to realize life is easier when you listen, then if you protest any reasonable asking. He definitely needs some clear direction and needs to know whose boss before he's respectful.

I think so. I was looking at her back while giving her a massage and she's pretty broad. She's much more solid and muscle dense than Dante was. She has more wither so she's not as wide through there but she's not a little girl, that's for sure! She's tall, she's 16.2h now.

Exactly! It's such a balance and a dance between if you're asking for something fair and reasonable and them needing to be obedient enough to be respectful but at the same time not forcing or being rude with them. Just a fair I'm respectful of you, you need to be respectful of me. He needs to know whose in charge and definitely has to be shown sometimes.

She really is. She's very animated and goofy. She needs to be the center of attention when Im with her. But hopefully you'll get to meet her someday! Especially if you come for a clinic someday or if Frankie and I show in Kentucky sometime. 

But thank you, I'm really looking forward to seeing the bridle and browband and putting it on her. Im looking forward to it all for Christmas!!

:lol: maybe sometime I'll make them and be able for you to have some. 
______________

Update

I rode Saturday and Dev yesterday, I did not ride Frankie because she's a bit off on her right hind. It looks like it's muscular, so I gave her a full body massage last night and she LOVED it. Her little lips were going.

Saturday was a brat. All I asked him to do was go when I asked him to, stop, turn. Literally all and he would stop and when I asked him to go forward would threaten to rear, so I tried to turn him just to get his legs moving and he was being a brat. So I got off and put him in line. I smacked him pretty hard and made him walk, trot with me in hand. Asked him to move laterally leg yield and turn on the forehand. He kicked out a few times and I had enough and was pretty firm with him but it was pretty fair/appropriate for the situation. Then I got back on, after his attitude adjustment. Asked him to walk, trot, turn and stop. Trotting he tried to refuse to move forward but I got after him and he was respectful, all I wanted was for him to listen. After he was respectful, I got off and was done. 

Dev was really good. He'd been ridden by someone else for a few days, so I had to get him responsive again and get him back to using his trapezius muscle and actually lifting out of his topline and reaching through to the bit. So some lateral work, sending him through and half halting. He's getting much better about half halting and taking weight behind. We did walk, trot, canter, leg yield, shoulder fore-in, and shallow loops in canter. Leg yield in canter was a crazy concept to little Dev but it really got him using himself better and coming up more in his back and through those trapezius muscles. We cantered both directions and had quite a good ride, so I hopped off and gave him lots of treats and love. Towards the end he started dipping behind because he was getting tired and couldn't carry himself. 

Frankie's new toy, my pink hat. 






And I'm sick with a nasty cold/flu. My throat is very painful and I am very fatigued, lovely gift from teaching kids :lol:


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## PoptartShop

Glad to hear you're progressing.  Omg don't you love when they are brats?! I feel your pain haha. Some days they're just like, nope!
Such a cute video!!  She's so playful, I love it! :smile: Awwww!
I hope you feel better, something is definitely going around. Throat pain is the absolute worst.


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## DanteDressageNerd

PoptartShop- thank you. And not really enjoying the brat stage with a 5yr old. Just shows he has a lot of growing up to do and needs to learn respect. He definitely has an attitude of wanting to test the limits and I'm not into that game. Dangerous and long term not good for him, especially when we go to find him another home. He will learn chain of command I think :lol: I'm respectful of him but I expect the same respect back.

And yes she is. She is really playful and very much so a mommy's girl. She loves attention but when I'm around she doesn't really want other people's attention. She's like mom's here I have no need for anyone else :lol: it's cute. She's a very sweet little girl. Really needed cuddles.

And thank you. I hope so too. Today I feel worse than yesterday but will be better soon enough!
_______________

Update

Frankie is still muscularly sore but I may have found out why. Her pasture mate has been bullying and chasing her around the field the last few days and running her around. so they're being separated. 

I didn't do anything with Saturday because I felt awful and didn't have the energy to deal with him. He can be sweet but he also has a bully mentality, where he has to know whose boss and whose leader before he's respectful. If he senses weakness, he takes full advantage and it's more so in presence and expectation than anything I necessarily "do" that he respects. It reminds me of Machiavelli's classic question, "is it better to be loved or feared?" And I agree with Machiavelli, it is best to be both but if there isn't a little fear involved there is no respect. I just prefer partnership and unity, so it's harmonious but it is what it is.

Will be riding Dev today or tomorrow. Im thinking tomorrow because I feel worse today than yesterday and want to get better. More cloudy and feverish today.

Also watched the newer Star Trek movies, since I've been sick and feeling awful. I usually am not a weenie about being sick but this one is with fever, chills, and dizziness. I definitely prefer the original series and next generation, the new ones just ruined my favorite characters into these entitled, arrogant brats that are just annoying vs enlightening or admirable like in the old series. Honestly disappointing. It's like they replaced thoughtfulness and character development for special effects and one liners. Like they focused on making the characters seem like rebels or bad @sses vs adding any of the thoughtful, mindfulness of the original series. I was just really disappointed because I wanted to like it. 

Good news it my cat is laying with me. She tried to take over my computer and push it off my lap, so she could occupy my lap but she lost. I have hot tea and am able to go back to sleep, so that's good. Hopefully will be better soon++


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## PoptartShop

Aww that sucks she was being bullied.  Glad they are getting separated though. I hope you do get to ride even though I know you aren't feeling 100% better. Ugh. It's best to ride tomorrow so today you can get another rest day in. I don't blame you for being miserable, you're sick! I get the same way. I hate when they re-make movies and they aren't as good as the original. So many movies are like that, it sucks.
Awww! At least you have a little cuddle buddy with you!  Hoping you feel better ASAP!


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## DanteDressageNerd

PoptartShop- it does because Qira has been chasing Frankie and causing her muscle soreness :/ but I'm hoping she'll feel better when Qira isnt chasing her around the pasture and making her jump around. 

But thank you. I was planning on riding today but our roads are SO bad, there is no way. People are sliding at 5mph due to the ice, so no chance of going to the barn today. I greatly prefer snow to ice. At least you have traction in snow. I have Dev and Saturday to ride but I guess they'll work tomorrow if the roads are better. I hope they are because we were supposed to have our Christmas party then too and I have a bunch of cupcakes to make. I love baking cupcakes but don't often because Ill eat them and gain weight easily. I eat about 1500 calories a day. I took 2T of apple cider vinegar, hot tea and oregano oil and that's really helping. The apple cider vinegar is PAINFUL and makes me super nauseous but it helps a LOT and the oregano oil is PAINFUL but I feel so much better afterwards it's worth it!

But thank you. Today I am feeling better. The chills and fever is gone. I was planning to go to the barn but the road are ice and people are sliding at 5mph so it's not worth it. I have Dev and Saturday to ride, then if Frankie isn't sore I was planning to lunge her lightly and give her a full body massage to help her feel better. 

My girlie cats actually dont get along but last night I found them both waiting for me on my bed, so we all slept together on my bed which probably wont happen again but I'm hoping my girls are starting to like each other. Athena (my gray cat) also laid on me and started snoring :lol: it was hysterical. I've never heard a cat snore before.

I'm still making mimosa (orange/champagne) cupcakes, cookie dough chocolate cupcakes and whiskey cupcakes. Im pretty proud of my baking skills, I am NOT a decorator but the taste of my homemade frosting and cakes are really good. I make everything from scratch and it really does taste like a good local bakery quality. I make most things from scratch when I cook. The cookie dough is from scratch as well. It's all gluten free as well.


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## Tihannah

Wow! Send me some cupcakes!! Lol.

My guy does most of the cooking and baking around the house and he LOVES making sweets. Unfortunately, it hasn't helped my figure at all! lol.

Glad to hear you're starting to feel a little better. It's probably good for you to get another day's rest instead of trying to get out in that weather to ride. That's one thing I'm grateful for down here is never having to deal with snow and icy roads!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- maybe someday I'll be able to send cupcakes around! Right now I'm not sure what condition they'd be in by the time they arrived. Might not be so good! But I took them out to the barn today for the workers to have and they loved them! The whiskey cupcake frosting pairs with it well!

That's pretty cool he does most of the cooking, shame it's hard to restrain yourself but at least he's pulling his weight!

And thank you. I'm kinda up and down. I was feeling a lot better then I went out and rode and now feel exhausted and painful in my upper respiratory, so maybe I needed the extra day of rest and was being stubborn about it?

_________________

Update

I went out and rode Dev and Saturday this morning. I went out early while the roads were still good. The roads were meant to freeze in the afternoon, so I didn't do anything with Frankie but hug and love on her.

I rode Dev first and it wasn't a bad ride but he was definitely a bit stiff and not as flexible from not being ridden in 4 days. We had a very pleasant ride once he got going and I had to be a little stronger than usual with him, just because he'd had so many days off and he needed more help to balance, soften and reach down into the contact but his canter was honestly the best it's ever been. We did a few shallow loops in canter then I took him down centerline and we did some counter canter. His counter canter was excellent. I usually ride counter canter really well and I thought he'd be more unbalanced but he felt really well balanced and up. It really improved his way of going both ways after counter canter. I didn't do a ton of it because I don't want to develop his counter canter too well or it makes teaching changes a LOT harder and I'd prefer his changes be pretty clean and easy when we get there. We have a bit to go before that but when he can do collected canter, walk to canter, simple changes, leg yield in canter, shoulder in easily in canter then we can think about changes. And haunches in. Were a ways away from that right now, just working on getting him more through, stronger and getting good basics and gradually introducing new things as he shows us he's ready and to push the envelope a little. 

Saturday was also pretty good. He felt pretty tight in his body and honestly didn't go his best but he was the most reasonable and obedient he's ever been which honestly is the highest priority at the moment. A few times when I asked him to go forward he tried to slam on the brakes and spin around but I didn't let him and just kept him moving. I had to spank him and put him in line before getting on but after that he was pretty good. Did some leg yield, changes of direction, canter both directions and even though he didn't want to and was tired he listened and did as was asked. So I was REALLY REALLY proud of him. He was really happy to see me as well, he nickered at me when he saw me. 

I'm struggling to give all the boys attention between Friday, Saturday and Dev. Dev bangs on the door then Saturday nickers and Friday look at me with his sweet eyes and glares at me begging for kisses and attention. I'm so glad they're on the other side of the barn away from Frankie or I'd feel terrible trying to give them all affection and love.

Saturday was SUPER excited to work. He was like YES, let's do this! He loves having a job and all the attention, he just likes to try to negotiate the terms and so my main goal is teaching him to be obedient and compliant in a happy way. It's a dance between being very gentle, fair and soft with him but also being firm and very black and white with little room for negotiations.



Dev is handsome too




Unfortunately no Frankie pictures but she was very cuddly. When I first showed up and saw her, she was kinda nonchalant then I went to walk away and she grabbed me with her nose and was like NO don't leave!! I need attention now! So I scratched her withers and hugged her and rubbed her face and gave her kisses and she was pretty happy. Her muscles are fairly tight but they're not so sore now, she has been separated from her pasture mate and may be getting a new, older one who is less of a bully. I hope she gets a new friends because this mare seems to like Frankie but we'll see. Frankie gets along with most horses, she's not a big squealer.


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## frlsgirl

Wow! You must feel so loved! So many horses fighting for your attention. Apparently, I'm going to the wrong Christmas parties because there are no GF treats with liquor baked into them! We finally got ice and snow down here in Oklahoma as well; I feel fine driving in snow but ice, no thank you. Is your barn pretty far outside of town? They are pretty good about keeping roads clear in town around here but not so much as you get further outside of town. Stay safe out there!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I do. They're all my kids, well Frankie is my kid and Friday, Saturday, Dev and the other babies are more like my nieces and nephews. I love them very much. I try to pay a lot of attention to them because they all want a person of their own. It's hard to split up that much affection though. 

lol I guess so. Pam (my trainer) definitely has gluten sensitivity but is in Florida and I react to gluten. I don't exactly know the cause but gluten containing products make me bloat and sit in my stomach for days. I don't digest it well but I can eat it, just shouldnt. But I LOVE good food and don't think diet restrictions should mean poor flavor. And I don't like boring or same old flavors, so I experiment a lot and bake some good treats. 

Unfortunately Christmas party was canceled due to the weather but should be rescheduled. I only baked the chocolate cookie dough cupcakes and they were a hit! 

But I saw all your snow pictures! I'm glad it's just snow and not ice. But I agree snow is driveable, ice not so much. People were sliding at 5mph! Wrecks all over the highway. But the barn isnt too far out of town. It's a bit out of town but not a long drive. 
________________

UPDATE

I lunged 6 horses today: Dev, Friday, Saturday, Qira, Bailey and Frankie because they werent turned out and need to move. Friday was full of himself since he's been limited in motion and afterwards he turned to me, I petted him and he started licking my neck. I was laughing so hard, I didn't get after him. I was just like buddy you're so weird. I kissed his nose once and he licked my face and I was like okay I'm good. Friday and Frankie were very frisky today. Friday was full of himself, definitely took quite a bit of Friday we had this talk. You either behave or we're done, so he couldn't behave and we hand walked. Good news is he looks sound/good, so I'm hoping to get him going again soon. 

Then Frankie after I lunged her while I was talking to my friend, Frankie put her head in my arms and started rubbing her nose and mouth against my belly for a good minute and I just laughed. She wasn't being rude, just being Frankie and my friends and people were laughing so hard they were like OMG that is totally your child and I was like aww Frankie. Friends were like well she's lucky to have you, I think you two were meant to be together. You're the same kind of weird. My friend wants to call Frankie, Frankie Asperger in honor of me :lol: it's kinda cute. 

But as for thoughts for today, I talked with a good friend of mine for a while today. It was nice to have an actual, in depth discussion with a good friend. I love philosophy, I LOVE economics. I'm very passionate about economics. I love physics and neuroscience. History, etc. I used to study a lot, I'm very well read but I've not read or studied a whole lot of late. I'm trying to get back into good study habits but I honestly don't enjoy reading anymore. I think it's my short attention span, I love discussion and thought provoking and stimulating conversation but I dont like chit chat, it doesn't make sense to me. 

I was also thinking a lot about mental projections and emotions and how they influence horses. I'm very big into being a reassuring, guiding presence and very calm. I'm not a particularly emotional person, I'm very logical. I'm actually a pretty skilled handler, I've done quite a bit with stallions and babies but I find horses are very responsive to emotional energy and the mental projections we use. I'm not sure how to really explain this but it's very important to be self aware and think about what emotional energy you're projecting around a horse and also when making corrections or handling, they will call a bluff. If a horse is a bully or a jerk, you need to have that presence and fortitude. Your emotional energy, quickness in corrections and assertiveness is what they respond to. If a horse has bad anxiety and is a hot horse, they need reassurance and calm, confident energy. If a horse has had a rough past, lots of patience and having a very kind demeanor. Being firm and making rules clear but still very reassuring, calm and patient. Results don't happen over night, it's gradual and sometimes there are things you can't completely fix.

Another thing I think is very important is a rider's outlook. I judge a lot off of a rider's outlook, I don't care so much about how "good" a rider is so much as their outlook. I get pretty frustrated with people who are unfair or nasty to their horse or thinking of their horse as an object or "show off" item. At my barn people really aren't like that but I'm pretty sensitive to that vibe or whatever it is that people put off. For me as a rider, I love the horses and they love me back. I love the partnerships and unity and being able to communicate and understand my horse better and better. It's a real partnership and I love making that connection with the horses. What I love about dressage is I feel like it deepens the bond and allows me to communicate with them more and more effectively, clearly and fairly. Again I dont care so much about how "skillful" or good a rider is, so much as their outlook and how they view the horses. If someone has a positive, good outlook towards the horses and isnt consumed with arrogance but compassion, I think they have a lot of potential to be a good rider but if they're arrogant, ride to "look" good or boost their ego and could care less about the horse I don't think they'll ever be as good as the rider who has a real love for the horses themselves. They're not machines or just tools or a stepping stone. They're our partners and a very important part of our life and it honestly saddens me when people dont' value that unity or partnership. I think being practical is also very important. People can have good intentions and always play the nicey-nice game and be very unfair and cruel to horses through good intentions. Practical, good sense horsemanship and a humble enough mind to accept you never know it all and always have an opportunity to grow or learn something


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## whisperbaby22

Well said!


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## frlsgirl

Wow longeing 6 horses - were you dizzy afterwards? 

Man that sucks about your Christmas party; ours was Friday, and since the storm wasn't scheduled to hit until the next day, ours proceeded without any weather related issues.

Totally agreed about rider's outlook; it's all about creating a positive working relationship with your partner!


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## PoptartShop

So happy to hear you are feeling better & were able to get some good rides in!  Ah, don't you just love a lovely canter?! Sooo glad you had such great rides. So proud of the boys (& Frankie of course). That's so adorable she was so cuddly! She must have missed you when you were sick. 

Wow, that's a lot of lunging! :O I bet you were worn out after all that. Hopefully your Christmas party gets rescheduled soon because I'm sure you're super excited to pig out! Stupid weather always has to get in the way.  & I can totally agree with the rider's outlook!


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## Tazzie

Bah, so far behind! Not that we haven't talked, but still :lol:

I'm glad you're feeling better!! Being sick is no fun!

Also glad the ponies are doing well and Frankie is on the mend! Naughty pasture mate running her like that!

I seriously love all the pictures you post  everyone is just so adorable!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Nah. Lunging 6 horses isn't too many to me. I used to lunge 12 horses a day. I actually really enjoy lunging. You learn a lot about the horse and yourself, it's a very skill oriented thing. There is a lot of good work and things you can teach on the lunge line. I actually introduce the babies to lengthening and shortening from the lungeline. Frankie can lengthen and shorten on the lunge line, so you start teaching it early and when you introduce it undersaddle it's like they've always known what they're doing. 

Whisperbaby- thank you.
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Tanja- lol nah. I'm used to it. I used to lunge 12+ horses a day. I used to ride 5 horses or so a day. I think you just don't even think about it when you've done so much of it.

I'm glad you got to enjoy your Christmas party. We're scheduling for a Valentine's party.

But thank you. They're my kids.
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PoptartShop- Thank you. I'm really proud of the boy, I just enjoy the progress and the journey. I love being apart of it. 

And yes she did. She always misses me when I've been gone. She'll act a little stand offish and then be SUPER clingy like OMG Mom I need you with me now! She also hates if I'm pretty close but not touching her. She can't stand that. She thinks it's cruel and unusual and if I stand next to her but I'm not grooming or anything she'll inch her body over to me until she's touching me. She's not pushy or rude, just clingy lol. It cracks me up. She's a total momma's girl.

I actually did pig out on food I cant eat the other day. I ate chick fil a which I LOVE but it isn't gluten free but I was like I can cheat this one time! I felt so sick. I was bloated and it just sat in my stomach but it was SO SO good! I don't regret it, just wont be doing it again soon. I felt bloated and lethargic for a few hours after.
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Katie- it's all good. Dont worry about it haha and we talk pretty often.

But thank you. I'm glad to be feeling better too. And I enjoy taking pictures. I know I probably take too many but they're memories I don't want to lose. I just enjoy all of the horses. 

And yes Qira is a bully. Frankie is pretty chill and not very dramatic, she's just like why are you chasing me? She's pretty good, even with geldings she'll squeal if they're rude but she's pretty patient.
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Small update

Didn't go to barn yesterday but I got a really sweet gift from the little girl I'm giving lessons to. She made me a homemade sewn bag. It's really nice! I'm really impressed with her skills, her and her Grandmother made it for me. Her and her brother called me Aunt because I don't think they knew what to call me. They were so excited to sit down and talk. They're really good kids. I actually love kids and being around kids. I shared some of my animals pictures and animals doing silly things and they thought that was pretty special. These are really considerate, well mannered and intelligent kids. They're very well raised with definite rules but they're still allowed to be kids.

I don't know if I'll ever have my own children but I love children. I don't like snot nose, entitled brats but I love children. I like listening to kids and hearing their ideas and thoughts. It's just so sincere and unique. I'm a big believer that kids need consistent rules and be treated fairly but still be held to a standard and expected to have manners and be considerate. And need to be taught to take responsibility and not given excuses. I notice a huge difference with kids raised with responsibility and who take account for their choices and actions and kids who are allowed every excuse and to behave however they want.

Should be riding Frankie tonight. Saturday saw the chiropractor, should be getting Friday going and Dev has cellulitis so that's being treated. Poor baby :-(


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## PoptartShop

Awww that was so sweet of her! That's adorable.  Homemade gifts are always super nice & meaningful. The 'good' 'nice' kids are definitely easier to deal with than the brats. Whenever I see the brats I'm like...nope, no kids anytime soon haha. That's good you're good with them though.

I hope you have a good ride tonight! The chiropractor is a lifesaver. Poor Dev, I hope she recovers smoothly!


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## Tazzie

There is no such thing as too many pictures :lol: I keep saying I need to take more haha!

Qira does sound like a bully, and poor Frankie had to have been confused. Poor girl. Hopefully her new pasture mate becomes her new best friend!

Awww, that was sweet of the little girl! It sounds like such a thoughtful gift! And I agree. We are firm believers in discipline, responsibility, and rules with our kids. We allow them to be kids, and we work hard to make them good people. Last year they were WAY too cooped up waiting for a show that was being delayed. Like, wanted to run up and down the barn aisle so full of energy. Couldn't go outside since it was FREEZING. Didn't want to let them run up and down the aisle since there were others I didn't know. Well, we made new friends that day as these people saw kids that needed to RUN. They were like "let them go; our horses need that lesson anyway." I felt bad originally, but seriously. After they got that out, they were on their best behavior. And I had three new friends :lol: but EVERYWHERE we go we are complimented on our kids and their behavior. Because Kaleb and Sydney were SO good at dinner Friday, the waiter kept bringing them free Kiddie cocktails :lol: we were in a super high end restaurant (no kids menus...), and my kiddos were perfect 

Poor Dev  I hope he feels better! And I hope you have a good ride! I'm sure Frankie will be thrilled to see you!!


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## frlsgirl

Glad that you're getting along so well with your little student. Did I ever share that my first paid job was teaching group riding lessons? We had 2 groups: little kids and big kids. I was tasked to teach the little kids - it didn't go so well; I nearly got fired as most of them came back from their lesson crying; I thought that was normal as I spent many lessons crying over this or that; I didn't think it was a big deal - lol. So we switched groups; I ended up teaching the older kids for the rest of the season. 

Now that I'm older I'm much better with little kids but I still get really nervous around them as I'm always afraid I'm going to say or do something that makes them cry; I just have zero patience but a lot more compassion if that makes sense. Husband and barn mate want me to take the riding instructor certification in the spring but I don't think it's a good idea - I just have flash backs of little children running around crying lol. Not to mention losing amateur status, and it's just not worth it for teaching 1 or 2 lessons per year. I don't consider giving pony back rides on Ana lessons and Ana would not make a good long-term lesson horse anyway.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Poptartshop- it really was! I was so touched, it just meant a lot to me and I know it meant a lot to her that she was able to make a gift and give it to someone. And I'm with you on kids, I can't stand being around brats because I can't do anything about it. I'm from a german family, I was raised to absolutely respect my parents, have manners and ethics. Basic manners and rules of behavior.

Consistency makes a big difference, you don't even really have to be mean. Just have consistent rules and expectations and teach them. My psych professor said with his son, he acted up at a restaurant and he said if you don't behave you and I are going to sit in the car while the family finished their meal and you'll have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and go to bed. His son didn't calm down, so he took him to the car and waited out there with them and did as promised. His son never acted up again. Direct and consistent.
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Katie-lol well thank you. I get teased a lot for all my cat and animal pictures but I'm a cat lady and horse mom, it's what I do lol.

I hope so too. Frankie is pretty easy going about things.

It really was. I was really touched and you could tell it meant a lot to her to give me the gift. It really is a nice bag. She did a really good job! Her and her brother are just good kids and very empathetic and kind.

I remember you telling me that story about the kids and that's really amazing how it works out sometimes! Really neat they were so understanding and let the kids be kids! Sometimes they just have to, they can't be miniature adults. That's really great Kaleb and Sydney were so good! Really great! I think you and Nick are very common sense parents and that's a big part of it, fair but consistent. You should be really proud.

I know. He wanted lots of love and cuddles when I saw him, I felt bad for him and Frankie was very excited to see me. She nickered at me and wanted cuddles! All the babies are really cuddly and I'm a sucker for it and they know it!
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Tanja- lol I don't know what to say. I wouldn't have been upset about the crying either, it's not a lack of compassion. It's more like if you get to ride why are you crying? You're getting a great opportunity, why cry? And Ella is pretty brave and has a driven streak. She's a very smart girl and amazes me with her ability to look after her brother. During a clinic, her and her brother were sitting next to me and her brother was having a hard time sitting still but was REALLY trying and Ella took his hand and said it's okay I need to take him in. He's having a hard time sitting still. She was 6! I was so impressed!

I don't blame you. It's really not worth losing the AA status over. But I understand the concept of not having a lot of patience but meaning well, you care but it's not your thing. I think some of the rules are kinda silly in that regard but with all the babies I ride I've lost that status anyway. 
___________________

Alright kinda humorous. So I'm supposed to have 4 babies going...well a 3yr old, a 4yr old and two 5yr olds and well they're all kinda off. Dev has cellulitis, Friday isn't quite right and Saturday has a fat leg. Frankie has a muscle in her back on the right side that is tight. I have a lesson on her tomorrow and then I'll ride Bailey as well but it's kinda frustrating atm lol. I'd kinda like to get some riding in, especially because I'm off of school and have all this freetime to ride babies and babies aren't going :lol: I don't know what to do other than laugh. Frankie's my kid but I sorta regard the other babies as my nieces and nephews :lol: it might seem silly but it's how I view them.

Rode Frankie last night and she was good for basically having two weeks off. Steering was definitely not as good and going forward, etc. I have to get her a new saddle and sell my old one. My saddle is just way too wide and doesn't sit right, I put in her in a different saddle and she was much happier. I was also much happier. I really don't like my saddle on Frankie because the saddle is so wide it puts me in a forward-downward position and Im constantly having to fight it to get my balance. It's a good saddle but not a good one on Frankie. In canter there is also just not enough support. Frankie has SO much movement in the canter and being so green, I'd really prefer something with more support rather then having to hold myself up and together to stay with the motion. Her canter is probably her best gait.

Saturday- I felt so bad because I brought him in to tack up and he was SO excited. He saw the chiropractor yesterday and was like YES put on my saddle, yay you're putting on the boots. He looked so excited to work but he has a fat leg (not very fat, I thought it was stocking up but then I came back and it got fatter) and well he didn't get to work. I felt SO bad. I marched him back outside and forgot his blanket and turned around and Saturday was as happy as could be like YES we're working and then I put his blanket on and took him back out and he put his head down and seemed kinda sad. I've never had a horse react like that. I felt SO bad. He was a total sweetheart though, really wanted cuddles. He just needs his own person. 



Frankie- I did some work on her muscle in her back and also walk, trotted her in hand and over polls. She's very brave. I can put the polls down and put them back up with her in hand. She was really good. I think she likes polls now. I also did some in hand work like leg yield, turn on haunches, turn on forehand, backing up, correct response to body position, and just general good manners, etc. 

She is DEFINITELY growing, she was pretty butt high not too long ago and now she's more uphill and she just looks more substantial and taller. She's at least 16.2h now, I don't know how much over that she is but she's growing. I'm hoping she'll get a bit longer in the back. She's pretty short backed atm but she is 3. There is plenty of growing ahead.







On a personal note I am VERY VERY independent. I HATE it when people try to control me or are condescending. If you ask me to do something, I'll oblige but try to order me to or make me do it and I have a total screw you personality and attitude. I know that sounds funny because I'm a former active duty Marine but trust me the best Marines are always like that. We're taught to be independent in thought and think for ourselves but have respect and be obedient but not blind.


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## PoptartShop

YAY for pictures!  Aww, I bet Saturday felt like a brand new horse after his chiro appointment. Sucha happy fella! That's awesome Frankie is doing well with the poles! Keep at it! Such a willing girl.  Ahhh look at her. Super cute & so shiny, my oh my! She's looking good & I can see some muscle! Big girl!
I am the same way regarding the independence. I totally get that. Best way to be is independent. Feels so much better when you do things on your own. Amen to that!


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## Tazzie

Pfft, I love all the pictures on here and on Facebook. So keep on posting them!! I don't get tired of any of them :lol:

I was very thankful that day. Both have kids (one had her daughter there, who is early 20's :lol, so they understood. I can't say I blamed my kids either really. Trapped in a car, then in a barn, then got a pony ride, then in a hotel, and back to the barn the next morning. Not much time to run around and be kids. But we try to be fair and consistent. They give us grey hairs since they are stubborn and independent like we are, but they are great kids. Definitely won't have the "you owe me" mentality of a lot of kids these days. Earning will be the way we approach things :wink:

Awwww, I love cuddles! They make me smile 

Poor babies though  everyone is just having a rotten end to the year! I sure hope Saturday's is nothing. Fat legs and not cool :/ and that Frankie feels better. Do you think the tight muscle could be from the saddle? Or just maybe played a bit too rough? Silly babies :lol: I'm glad she was pretty good though for having two weeks off! She really is growing! Big girl!

And don't ever become anything other than independent! I like ya just the way you are, and others should just deal with it lol


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## frlsgirl

Sounds like Ella is very mature for her age!

Poor Saturday; you got his hopes up, not once but twice, lol. It's funny how they develop expectations associated with routines. I love that he's so enthusiastic about your work with him; you must be doing something right 

Frankie looks good - random question, how do you keep her so shiny in the winter? Ana has so much dust embedded in her coat that I'm basically just spreading the dirt around when I brush her; and since winter fur isn't as shiny anyway she always looks really dull-coated in the winter. BO showed me a trick by spritzing water on her before brushing which I use in the spring and summer but I'm hesitant to get her wet in the winter.

PS: in case we don't connect again until next week - have a Merry Christmas!


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## Tihannah

Awww...poor Saturday! :-( I wanna be his person!! And Dev's and Friday! Lol. They are all such gorgeous horses!

You can definitely see a change in Frankie too. She looks fantastic. I can't wait to see her as a 6yr old! Oh man!! Lol.

I'm also with Katie. You can never post enough pics!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Poptartshop- I think he did, his posture was a lot better! He held his back so much better. It made me happy. I'm hoping to ride him again fairly soon. He LOVES having a job, he looks forward to working. He just loves the attention and he loves working.

But thank you! She's gaining confidence. She was nervous at first but then started to enjoy it. She's kinda the type where she goes ah that's scary but mom says I should so I'll try it. Im still not sure about this but mom says to try it and then she's like oh okay. Yeah no big deal. But thank you she's a good girl!

But I agree best to be fully functional on your own. Think for yourself and handle.
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Katie- :lol: thank you for the encouragement. I have WAY too many animal photos on my phone. I have some of myself or people but for the most part it's all horses and cats lol.

I can't blame the kids either, they're still kids. They can only be on their best behavior for so long, then they just need to be kids and let all that energy out. You and Nick have done a really good job with them. I think they'll end up being fine adults! I say independence and stubbornness is a sign of intelligence :lol:

Me too! I get lots of horsey cuddles. Friday made me feel so guilty. He saw me coming to get Bailey from his paddock and Friday came up to the fence and looked at me with these big eyes and demanded cuddles. It's hard to give so many horses cuddles and individual attention. I love giving it and receiving it but I feel guilty when I have to go.

I guess so, I hope it's nothing too and just a weird thing and they'll all be just fine. I just want everyone to feel better, so we can get them going, back to work and find them good homes. Ill be sad to see them go but they will need their own. 

Frankie is feeling better. I think being separated from Qira and switching saddles have helped Frankie's muscle. She was a lot better today. Working her is definitely helping it. I also did some massage and pressure holds on it and that seemed to help as well. But she really is doing great for all that time off. 2 weeks in baby land is like 2 months :lol: 

Haha thanks. I guess we'll all just join together in the stubbornly independent club. If you ask, it's okay but if you demand and are rude or obnoxious there will be he1l to pay lol.
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Tanja- She really is. She really impressed me!

I know! I felt SO bad for him because he was so excited to work! He has a good work ethic. 

Frankie is on santa cruz vitamin E which is a natural source vitamin E supplement. It's an excellent supplement. When Dante was having all the muscle issues, after I started giving him this and it worked into his system I didn't have to give him full body massages everyday and his muscles weren't so tight. They relaxed. I was amazed. So since Frankie is growing and young, I decided to keep her on the supplement. I'm really impressed with it. I also bathe when the weather allows and cover her in the quick dry cooler by centaur. It definitely helps them dry faster and keep warm. She's honestly a dirty, dusty mare that gets more shavings in her tail than tail hair. She gets it all over :lol: 

https://www.scahealth.com/scah/product/ultracruz-equine-vitamin-e-horse-supplement

And thank you! Merry Christmas to you and all your furry friends and family!! 
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Tina- Aww they would love that! They really are good guys, I love them all!! 

And thank you! Yes she's definitely growing up and maturing. She's still 3 so I have NO idea what she's going to mature like for sure but I'll be excited when she's 6 and hopefully schooling 3rd-4th level.

Aww thank you. I am a picture person!
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Update

I rode Frankie and Bailey today. Bailey is a 15h foundation qh and 2nd-3rd level schoolmaster. He's out of shape atm but I haven't ridden an adult, trained horse in a LONG time. I was SUPER excited. He's a really neat little horse. He's not a big mover or super flashy but he is SUPER smart and has a great work ethic! Super fun ride, because he's not in as good of shape we did pretty challenging work in short periods with stretching periods and lots of walk. We worked on collection to extended gaits. He's not quite strong enough to fully extend but it was an extension. The collection was pretty good. I was impressed. The longer and more work he did, the more loose and supple his body became. He started really stiff which is part of why I did so much with him. We did shoulder in, haunches in, half pass, changes, did 1/4-1/2 turn pirouettes and definitely had some good steps then I let him out. It helps a lot with collection but then I'd let him walk. He didn't break a sweat and didn't puff very hard, I think because we did quite a bit of walking and short durations of stretching, intense work and then stretching and walking. His posture after work was a lot better than before. I did stretches with him afterward and he looked really happy, which is a good sign to me because I was concerned I might have done too much. But Bailey is also a workaholic. He will work and work and work. Bailey will give you everything he has and more, he's a very cool horse to work with because of that but you have to be careful that you don't get greedy which I try to always be mindful of because it's easy to do. 

Frankie was wonderful today. I rode her in a different saddle and the same type of saddle I plan to buy for Frankie. I want a saddle just like it lol. After cantering her in it and feeling correctly in balance I was like yeah, this is it. She has a HUGE canter, it takes a lot to organize and now that's she getting stronger and Im in a saddle that fits her, it makes such a big difference. She was by far the best she's ever been. I was pretty impressed. She takes quite a bit to ride but she's a good girl and tries very hard! We cantered both ways, she leg yielded a few steps both ways. She had another horse walk by her bum and beside her, so she could get used to that idea (preparation for warm up ring). She was the most ridable in the canter ever, had to get her to sit more so she didn't lean on the bridle, it was close fingers, release, close fingers, release and she figured it out pretty quickly. After we cantered, we went back to walk and stopped and I hopped off. Must reward good work. I rode her half way on my own today. Mari was in the ring but I rode her which was pretty neat. She felt more like a broke horse, than a wandering baby lol. She still takes a lot to ride and organize but she's learning!

I'm honestly REALLY excited because I'm seeing how much I've improved as a rider and how much my trainers and all the horses have helped me become a better rider. I'm feeling more confident but not cocky, just like hey I can do this. Like I'm looking at those FEI young horse classes with anticipating going bring it on! Which for me is unheard of :lol: I'm never sure of myself or like that but I'm just excited because I've put in a lot of tears over the years. I've had a lot of ups and downs, a lot of heart ache and crying into my pillow feeling like the worst, cr!appiest rider ever who should never sit on a horse and being so frustrated with myself of why I cant just get it together. Ive worked really-really hard when I was a working student and since and it's really coming together like I actually feel like I can say I'm a good rider. I don't know what level I could ride if I had a horse ready and already there but I've been told it wouldn't be hard to get me going PSG.

Bailey. I also gave him a hair cut, it's a little short but it's winter and I'm lazy so I don't want to cut it again for a while :lol:


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## Tazzie

I have the same problem, no worries :lol:

Haha, yeah. Kids are kids and have the energy I wish I had LOL! But I sure hope it's a sign of intelligence. Our kiddos seem pretty smart and are very stubborn and independent 

Awww, but yay for snuggles with everyone  I know they enjoyed it!

I sure hope so! And yeah, it will be sad when they find new homes, but they will enjoy having a person of their own. It'll be both happy and sad.

I'm glad Frankie is feeling better! That has to be a relief!

Pretty much :lol: there are quite a few of us stubborn, independent people on here :lol:

I'm glad you had such a great ride on Bailey and Frankie! Just sounds like the perfect day! And heck yeah about the young horse tests! I'll be excited to see how you guys do!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- MERRY CHRISTMAS!! 

lol who doesn't wish they had all that wonderful energy? I'm willing to bet they're pretty smart kids, if they're obstinate and have a mind of their own then heck that's half the battle. I think that's a sign of genuine intelligence.

They do. I'm probably too cuddly and snuggly with them but they're really well behaved babies and I don't mind spoiling as long as they're respectful, well behaved and happy. 

It really will be but I'll be happy they'll have their own people too! I just want every baby to be as loved and happy as they deserve to be! 

It really is! It's a big relief! And yes I guess so! The more the merrier! So long as everyone is mostly reasonable! Stubborn or as I like to say strong willed and fiercely independent has it's place sometimes. A favorite quote of mine from John Adams goes "Thanks be to God he gave me stubbornness, especially when I know I am right."

But thank you. It was a pretty good day. I had such a rough last few years that I'm really appreciating it and know it's not for granted. I think the anxiety meds have helped a lot, they manage depression and anxiety. But I'm REALLY looking forward to the young horse tests. I'm not expecting WOW scores but I'm really hoping we do well! I've been trying to have a real show season for a LONG time. I can't remember how many years but I want to say 8-9 years waiting for a real show season. I showed more when I was a teen but as an adult not so much.
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Update

Rode Saturday. He was REALLY REALLY good. We still have to negotiate throughout a ride, he's pretty quirky/sensitive but in negotiations if you can 75% of what you want and step in the right direction, that's great. Honestly he felt the best he's ever felt. He was super, I was so proud of him I put both reins in one hand and patted him on the neck and bum because I think that's good for them to get used to and he stayed on the bit, through, swinging and was just really good. I was SO proud of him! He seemed SO SO happy to work. He LOVES having a job and he seems to really like me too. It really made my day, I was so happy he was so good and happy to work. We didn't canter, well we cantered a little and he bronced. Not in a nasty way just like woo hoo I'm so excited so I stopped that and got him back to work. Plenty of walk breaks. Honestly Saturday loves having a job, he's a workaholic.

I was told Bailey was in an unusually good mood and high spirits, so that really made me happy. The guys who lunge him noted how much more free Bailey was moving and his owner noted that he seemed especially happy, so that's also made me really happy. I think Bailey felt better after our ride and I'm also glad I didn't make him sore. I try to be really mindful and fair about that. Don't be greedy. I'm kinda hoping I'll be able to ride him again. He was very lovey dovey today, he's usually pretty crabby. I call him crab @ss in an adoring way.

I was really showing the signs of aspergers today, I was SO awkward and obnoxious. I was getting a lot of compliments for my ability to over come adversity and go through challenging situations and I was like uhhh uhh I don't know what to say, thank you? I'm uncomfortable with so much good meaning. And I kept looking to one of my friends like help I don't know how to be a person right now. The ladies daughter (the lady who will hopefully buy Dev) says I have a very distinct awkward face of I'm in this situation, I'm not sure how to handle this. Then I snuggled with the cat, he needed love. I'm REALLY sensitive/emotional about animals. I get VERY upset about any kind of unfair mistreatment. I understand discipline but it has to be fair. The punishment has to fit the crime and make sense to the animal, otherwise I get really protective of the animal. 

Then one of my friends was having a bad day and was kinda depressed, so I wanted to make her happy and made her ride her horse. She didn't want to and was pretty bummed because her custom saddle didn't fit her horse after getting it back from the custom rep. So I made her ride in my saddle which fit the mare quite well and obnoxiously made her ride. I can be pretty obnoxious in an adorable, ridiculous, almost roger rabbit cartoon like way. I just want to make people laugh and be happy, I like infecting people with my good will :lol: But anyways she rode in the saddle and it was a really good fit and after she had such a bad day, she had the best ride ever on her girl! She said it's one of the first times in a while she's really enjoyed riding. The saddle fits her really well and it fits her girl really well! I'm so happy for them and I'm so glad my obnoxiousness was able to turn the day around her. 

We've basically concluded if I was a horse I'd be Frankie. She's just as dorky and obnoxious and into everything as I am. She was NOT happy about me paying attention to so many other horses and to my friend. She saw me bring Saturday over, she screamed at me and after I put him in the cross ties and kept looking and when she saw me look at her extended her head side ways like hello, I'm over here! I felt really bad because she really needed some Mom time which she definitely got. I lunged her and spent time with her. Honestly she's a REALLY good baby. I put the lead rope over her back while I filmed my friend's ride, she stood very still. I told her she's the best 3yr old ever. I also scratched her withers and gave her treats and one on one time. I need to give her more but my friend laughed and said she definitely doesn't love you and I said oh yes definitely, she hates me :lol: no she's very much so a Momma's girl. She just wanted to cuddle, I held her head, gave her kisses and pets. She may have licked my cheek and I probably allow to much lovey stuff but she's well mannered, well behaved and respectful. Not at all pushy or domineering, so I say why not? I've been told we just suit each other, we're both REALLY dorky.

Video of Frankie trotting left, the right side hasn't uploaded yet. We actually played quite a bit with shortening and lengthening and putting those concepts into her vocabulary. It's not random I look for when she finally brings her hocks more under her and then send her out until I see she really takes a true lengthened step and then let her come back. I don't mind if she breaks to walk figuring it out but she's learning. The right side is better.






And some pics of Saturday


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## DanteDressageNerd

The Frankie right video finally loaded and I really should be fast asleep. I never stay up this late but I'm having a hard time falling asleep

https://youtu.be/hYAha9ZX4v4


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## Tazzie

Merry Christmas!! I hope you have a great holiday!!

Haha, yeah, it is half the battle. Just hope they end up being good, solid people when they are older!

Eh, if they are well behaved, why not?? I snuggle with Izzie a lot, and I know people would HATE our after ride ritual since it comes off as pushy, but I allow it and initiate it. They stay respectful, so I see no reason not to snuggle!

Haha, exactly! I like that quote!

I think you'll finally have a show season  and who cares if they are wow scores starting off?? You'd get to show and that brings enough joy!

I'm glad Saturday went so well! What a good boy! And that Bailey was in such a good mood  I'm sure you'll be able to ride her again  lol, I'm glad you have friends you can turn to in those situations though! I'm also glad you made your friend ride and that it went well  always a good thing! Frankie is such a goof! She is definitely your horse :lol: and she looks GREAT! What a good girly!


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## Tihannah

I'm with you guys and all for the snuggles! Lol. I think horses that love to be loved on are a special kind. The lease I had for a few months? I doted on her with treats and baths and pampering and honestly, she coulda cared less whether I was there or not. Hated kisses and barely seemed to acknowledge my presence. I think its a much better feeling when you have what feels like a mutual emotional bond with a horse and they enjoy having you around. It doesn't feel like you're just showing up to make them work, but sharing a special bond with them. 

On another note, Frankie looks SOOO good, Cassie! She responds to cues so well on the lunge line! I wish I could get Tess to do so well on the lunge! Of course, I don't do it near enough either. And seriously, she looks like she's physically developing so well! I can definitely see her doing really well in the show ring!


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## DanteDressageNerd

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

Katie- it sure is!! I think you're doing a good job. I mean they'll be who they're going to be but you're giving a good start and they have empathy, compassion and are considerate. That says an awful lot!

Exactly! As long as they have good manners, don't behave rudely with others or take advantage then why not enjoy them and cuddle and do all those lovey dovey things. They enjoy it!! Frankie needs to be snuggled, I think she'd shut off if someone got onto her all the time for being herself and become blah personality wise which I never want to do to her. I want her to gain confidence and be happy.

I'll admit I sort of have high hopes but I'm more so going with the flow and letting things happen. I look at it as, I'm just going to ride the tests to the best of my ability and give Frankie a good experience. Being in the show ring doesn't bother me, I just gotta provide positive experiences to Miss Francesca and keep her confident and happy. I'd rather keep her confident than get a ton of expression. I just don't like pressuring horses.

It really was. I get a lot of reward in forming the connections with the horses and knowing that me working with them makes them happier and more confident. I am too but I'm also glad I can turn situations around for my friends and turn their [email protected] days into good ones, I cant always but a lot of the time I can. I also keep good people around, if people are toxic or just have this toxic attitude, vibe, energy I stay away because I'm SO sensitive to it because I'm someone who wants to please by nature but it's good when you can give back. 

And yes she is definitely a goof. She takes after me :lol: And thank you. I'm kinda surprised she looks a lot better undersaddle than on the lunge but at the same time I really think you can teach them a lot on the lunge line and it gives them something different to do and gives them the opportunity to figure out their own balance and figure concepts out without worrying about a rider. Plus it's good to keep variety in her life. I really want to take her out hacking again but we'll see when our next hack will be!
____________________

Tina- Some horses honestly don't have much of a personality, just like people. Some horses have vibrant personalities and some are just bland to the point where their personality is the epitome of beige which is just sad. But it really is a lot better when a horse actually wants to connect and cares enough to be apart of the journey with you. I can't stand beige personalities and they're not something you really love and I think for a personal horse. You need a horse you can really just love as a member of the family. 

I actually really enjoy lunging, it's definitely as much of a skill to develop as riding but it's really beneficial I think. It also helps develop your eye but thank you! I'm really proud of her! She tries really hard and I try to reward her try as much as possible and keep things clear and consistent with her so she gains confidence. I like it because you can address their balance from the ground and let them figure it out without rider. I think you can teach a lot to them that way. But again thank you. I'm really excited for when we do actually show. I'm planning on having her go the jumping barn I had Dante at for 2 weeks to get her exposed to more stuff and a change of scenery. It's a MUCH busier atmosphere and will be really good for her before we take her into the show ring.
____________________

Really not much of an update. I said goodbye to an old friend whose leaving the barn for New Mexico. It's sad to say goodbye, I've known her for 8 years but they love it there and are happy. So I'm happy for them and wish them the best.

I thought about riding Saturday but then I thought it's Christmas Eve, I need to spend time with Frankie and no one was there, so I didn't feel safe getting on Saturday. He's definitely not one I'd get on without someone there, I like him a lot but I do not trust him. 

So Frankie and I just spent time together and I took a few selfies and talked to her. We did some in hand work too and she was great. She's very smart, very sweet and definitely a momma's girl! She's also quite brave, she'll be nervous about things but I'll show her, stay calm and she's like well okay if you say so. I'll say I feel really loved and I love her so much. She's a special girlie.

I went kinda crazy with Frankie selfies. We were just having fun lol and again keep in mind I'm really a goofy dork with almost a looney toon sometimes in ridiculousness...well aspergers brain but I see things in terms of pictures and puzzles and so to me it's always connecting the dot and seeing the cause and effect of how ideas, concepts, and reality fit together. I know that sounds weird but I'm not sure how else to explain it but I work REALLY REALLY hard to be articulate and well thought out, so I can explain things because if I can't see the pictures or imagine the feeling without then I don't really understand it and can't describe it. I think it's also why my learning process is so tedious and difficult :lol: if I'm taught math how I understand it and am walked through the steps, step by step and shown I'll get it in no time but if it's just spoken to me it means nothing at all. Same with computer science which is part of why I'm actually looking at becoming a high school teacher instead. I know I'm an "older" college student but the horses are my priority and to become a computer scientist I'd have to give it up and I'm not willing to do that because it takes SO SO much time and dedication to keep up with the various languages and working on the programs with a lot more failures than successes and WAY too much desk time. I can't be in a desk all the time, I'd lose my mind. It wouldn't be rewarding enough to make it worth it. I want to enjoy my life, I want to feel like what I do has meaning. And honestly I need to make an effort to make sure I'm in social situations or I turn into a really awkward puddle of I just can't "people" right now. I have no idea what to do and over think everything and get really stressed out around a lot of people but if I do it all the time, it becomes normal and I don't have such a strong stress reaction and am less awkward and uncomfortable in social situations. I can be great one on one but a lot of people talking at once is overwhelming and just ahh but I do public speaking well :lol:








HAIR FUN


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## DanteDressageNerd

Small update

Rode Saturday today and both him and Frankie got baths! It was the warmest it's going to be in a while, so they were cleaned. Frankie HATES baths, she was terrible. Practically piaffing in the cross ties and dancing the whole time with WARM water in a heated barn. She even got her teats cleaned, which she LOVES. Picks her leg up like a dog and widdles her nose. I imagine it gets uncomfortable with gunk there.

I ate gluten stuff and feel incredibly sick, bloated and uncomfortable but it was worth it! The fresh rolls were SO SO freaking good, just going to take a while to get it all out of my system and back to feeling right but odd before I switched I didn't notice the change but then whenever I re-introduce gluten I definitely feel it. Just weird. I never would have thought it affected me that much.

A certain half arab was VERY quirky today. I got on and he was just really tricky, he felt like he was mentally looking to test me as much as possible. It took a lot of tact to ride him. To start with he was pretty spooky and we were trotting then he slammed on the breaks and when I asked him to go forward threatened to rear and refused to turn. So I hopped off, spanked him and walk- trotted him in hand both direction, then did leg yield turn on the forehand, turn on the haunches and got him listening and got back on. So I get back on and say walk on and he was tricky, definitely felt like I was navigating a mine field but he ended up being REALLY good. He's tricky to ride in the walk because its very much in how you use your hips and it's hard to explain but if you dont get it right he twists his head around and stiffens his back. It's a hard walk to ride but I'm hoping as he gets stronger and more obedient, it will get better. His walk at the end was quite good because we did the fall in and fall out exercise and that really changed his walk. I know part of it is the saddle is probably too tight (he's draft horse wide) but my saddle is he widest one we have and I absolutely WILL NOT ride this horse bareback. I do not trust him, I do not feel safe on him. He loves me and respects me but he's got some quirks that are just not safe. He IS young and he IS green and we just re-started him but he's a good horse and I think he'll always be quirky but I think he'll become a lot more ridable and become a REALLY fun horse to ride.

We cantered both ways and he tried to bronc first few strides and so I sent him forward into canter, he tried to bury his head and I wouldn't let him and just sent him forward, then he was very mad because I wouldn't let him lean on my hands or run on the forehand (basically I'd lift up in my head and shoulders and close my hands and then release, repeat) so I made him sit and push from behind and he ended up actually engaging properly in the canter and coming from behind. The canter felt AMAZING! We did the fall in, fall out exercise since he's now coordinated enough and not leaning and that made his canter so much more ridable. He really has a fantastic 8 canter. Then we switched directions and the canter was really good and we trotted, he was tired and puffing and he kept trotting when I asked. Went as forward as I asked. I had to open my fingers and tap his shoulder (VERY gently, almost like a thought of touching his shoulder, he's VERY VERY whip sensitive) a few times to send him into the contact because he tried to lean and get behind because he was tired so I tapped him on the shoulder and kept him straight. And that was a TON of progress. He's the kind of horse where if he doesn't want to do it, he'll just slam on the breaks and try to rear or throw a tantrum and the fact that I could work through it with a yes mam attitude, even though he's tired and uncomfortable is really great progress. The mental change was intense, Im VERY VERY proud of him. He's coming along!

My biggest and first goal with him is making him as ridable and "de-quirked" as possible. He has an excellent work ethic, he LOVES to work and he's very smart with some nice gaits. So I think he has a lot of potential and will be a very good horse, I think it's just taking the time to work through this stuff and being patient but still making him get over himself. He's a really sweet horse and he loves me. He loves certain people. He's not bad, this is just some stuff we have to work through to make him into the horse he can be.


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## DanteDressageNerd

UPDATE

Rode Frankie last night. Her first ride in about 4 days which is baby land is quite a while.

Honestly I was pretty distracted :lol: my focus was not real great and Frankie was kinda like ugh we have to do this riding this again, she definitely made me work. But she's 3 and had 4 days off. Frankie was pretty hard to steer, going right she was leaning right pretty hard, so I had to step pretty hard left to help balance her. I probably need to see the chiropractor too, that'll help but she was like that on the lungeline too. She was a really good girlie though!! I was really impressed with her. Another horse in the arena, she hasn't been ridden in days 











Not a lot to say but the saddle I'm riding in is a trilogy verago 18in MW. I should have dropped my stirrups another hole but I didn't want to ride too long, since she's a baby and she was pretty spooky to start with.

My friend Mandy is a saddle fitter and will be fitting Frankie and I to a saddle. I also have a HUGE announcement... I was super excited and Mari goes OMG you're pregnant and I laughed because that's kinda impossible and said no, better I FINALLY got my refund for the custom saddle that didn't fit Dante!! I am SO ecstatic!!! It was a tough fight but 

Other good news, my good friend may be buying my trilogy Debbie McDonald saddle. Her horse LOVES it and she loves it. It fits them both REALLY well. She's tired of messing with her custom saddle by custom who has been awful to her. She paid to have her saddle reflocked and they sent it back WORSE than before. I honestly don't know that the saddle ever really fit her horse, who is very sensitive and particular. It bridged fairly badly with concentrated pressure in the rear panels, tight down her shoulders and the panels had lumps in them! That can make sensitive horses move lame and cause serious back problems where the horse refuses to move over it's back and muscle tension, just ugh. I was pretty upset for her, totally unacceptable and lazy. Then the fitter wants to charge her for that, sorry no. I'd refuse she did a terrible job! Anymore I honestly don't trust any saddle fitters besides Debbie and Mandy anymore. I also taught her about saddle fit that I've learned from Mandy and Debbie about evaluating saddle fit and how a saddle positions a rider. I just feel so bad for her. Brand new it's a 5500 saddle and it's only a year or so old.

My photobucket isn't working but some pics. I should have lengthened my stirrups a hole, I really do have long legs :lol: but so far I really prefer this saddle on her. Much more supportive, especially in the canter. She has a MASSIVE canter stride, very powerful canter and hard to organize but she's a good girlie.

Hopefully Dev will be back to work soon and hopefully riding Saturday and I'm trying to see about riding Bailey more often


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## Tazzie

I'm so far behind thanks to the holidays haha!

I'm so glad Frankie is doing so well! She looks so good  I love the pictures of her restyling your hair haha! She's such a goof! Keep posting pics because there are never enough!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- it's all good! I know you're SUPER busy! But thank you. She's my special girl!!

Alright update

I'm not posting all the videos but I will say I came off Saturday today. I'm fine. I was kinda surprised I didn't have an adrenaline or stress reaction, though it was pretty darn scary. He went vertical and spun, if you want to see the video you can PM me. If I hadn't come off, I think he would have landed on me. It was really uncalled for. He's VERY quirky. And the weird thing is this horse loves me like Frankie loves me. I mean he's NOT mean at all. He does this stuff not out of meanness or being nasty but he's VERY opinionated and EXTREMELY smart. I really think this is just stuff that has to be worked through and then he'll be good. I think he'll always be quirky but I think he'll get a lot more ridable. It's just going to take patience and time. These are the horses you learn an awful lot from because you have to be innovative and figure out what you can do to get a similar or same result. Use a lot of different tools from your tool box or find new ones. The thing with horses like this is you're not going to get everything that you want and you can't just make them do it, you do that they'll fight you every step of the way. Negotiations and tact. I have a lot of horses to thank, including Kahlua, Sporty, Dante, Ivan, Seamus, and many more. Lots of quirky ponies.

I changed bits, he likes Frankie's a lot better than his. Frankie's bridle also has a padded crown piece and on quirky types it makes a difference. He was MUCH happier in Frankie's bridle. Walk was really quite good, actually came over his back and stopped doing the weird head flip thing if I didn't time myself exactly right. The saddle also fits him quite well! I looked at it and was like alright he has no excuses, it just is what it is. I carry a whip with him but I almost never touch him with it, I honestly dont need the whip but I carry it to desensitize him. He needs to be able to be ridden with one. He's VERY sensitive. I was joking, this is why professionals ride you Saturday. If you were were better behaved you could have a nice amateur lady who will feed you cookies and give you cuddles.






This was after he went up. Notice how big a difference there is in his movement? Also that is the first time he's allowed me to ask directly for the canter, before I always basically trotted him as big as he could until he broke into canter because he'd act up so badly if I just asked. Also if you go towards the end about 2:07 I ride him one handed for a circle. Going left early on there is a reason I put my outside rein forward, that is intentional. I'm trying to get him to take the inside rein and bend through his whole neck without blocking him. Once he takes it, I pat him with the inside rein and half halt the outside and even up my reins. They have to accept both reins.






downward


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## PoptartShop

Sorry to hear you had a fall.  Whew, glad you are OK though. The challenging ones are the ones who can definitely teach you a lot. Definitely have to ride through it.  That's the spirit! Oh we gotta love the quirky ones. :rofl:
You guys do look great though. Glad the saddle fits too!!! Can't beat a good saddle & a better bit


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## DanteDressageNerd

PoptartShop- I'm glad I'm okay too. It really could have easily gone badly. He literally went vertical. I'm so happy I fell off, when they go up that high up I want off. If they break the saddle fine but I don't want to lose my life. I don't enjoy working through that stuff but kinda don't have a choice.

Cant say you can always ride it through, with him you don't get a ton of warning. He just goes up. My goal is to get him to stop it altogether, its going to take time but I think it can be done. He's not a mean horse. He just has a mind of his own and thinks no is an answer when he doesnt want to. Im very reasonable and gentle but I growled at him and used leg and wouldn't let him lean or stop and he just went straight up. What I've been doing is when he says no is getting off and doing in hand work, making him listen and making sure he knows life is 10x harder when I get off then if he just does it and getting back on. That seems to work best and adjust his attitude because after I do that and get back on he's a completely different horse. You can't just push through it on him at this point. I want to retrain his habits and retrain his brain. 

There is a really good horse in there with a wonderful work ethic and great intelligence and ability. I think he'll always be sensitive and quirky but I think in time he'll be reasonable.

UPDATE

Frankie played too hard in the mud and field yesterday and hurt herself :-( we're taking saddle measurements tonight and I should be riding Bailey and Dev tonight. First time getting back on Dev after his bout of cellulitis, should be fun. 

Rode Saturday. I always lunge him before I ride him, he was good. Then when I rode him he was mostly fine, definitely sore but that's part of why I rode him. He needs to get used to things not always being on his terms and that even if he's uncomfortable, he has to be able to work. He tried pulling some stunts with me once. I hopped off did some turns on the forehand, turns on the haunches and leg yield and trot-walk-trot in hand and got back hand and he was good. All I asked was that when I ask him to go forward, he goes forward and when I turn he turns and when I ask him to go forward he goes forward. Once he did that with a yes mam response I hopped off. My only goal was to work through him just being willing and obedient. 

I also talked to Dante's mom and he's doing GREAT! He loves his new home and horse friends and is just really happy! He's had a break and she's bringing him back to work in January. I also helped her find someone to help her break her arabian warmblood who no one has been successful with so far. I don't know what it is but man arab/stockhorse and arab/warmbloods are so freaking difficult. They take a long time to mature mentally and are just so dang quirky.


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## PoptartShop

Oh my gosh girly!  That is scary! Literally is straight up! So glad you are okay now especially since I saw the picture! Exactly, the saddle is replaceable, but you are not. It is frustrating that he doesn't really give a warning so you 'never know', but I hope he learns that it's not OK and he gets over it in time. Love the quirky ones right, and that's true. All it takes is time.  You are very patient too which helps the both of you. It's good you ended on a nice note too today. That's all that matters. :smile: Can't always be on his terms, exactly. He will have to get over it. I hope he doesn't go up in the air like that ever again!

Awww poor Frankie. Having too much fun huh. Someone's feeling good! :rofl: I hope the ride on Dev goes well, I'm sure he's gonna be rusty but I'm glad you can get on him finally since he's feeling better. Awwww I'm so happy to hear Dante is doing so well! <3 Yay! I'm sure that made your day.  So glad he is fitting in just fine at his new place.


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## egrogan

I so appreciate you giving us a window into what it takes to get a young horse started, as I know it's something I don't have the skill to do- and showing both the good and the bad. That picture ^^ is scary. Glad you both walked away with no damage.


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## frlsgirl

Saturday - what a naughty, naughty boy! Such and adolescent! Glad you are ok. As always, lovely pictures and riding though. Sorry Frankie hurt herself; it's such a delicate balance; "do I let them play because it's good for them knowing that they might hurt themselves?" It's impossible to do the right thing all the time.


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## DanteDressageNerd

PoptartShop- It really is and that's part of why he's scary is because you don't get much notice, in this case I growled and used too much leg which was not at all a huge amount just go forward and he slammed on the breaks and went up, spun around and came down. I dont have physiological response anymore, I don't get scared, no adrenaline or anger, just that's unacceptable so I took the reins and got back on. With horses like that emotional responses are bad, they just need lots of encouragement, direction, discipline where necessary and shown the right path to retrain their response. Better to be patient and have long term success then try to push through it and break yourself and the horse for ego or validation.

He has a lot of growing up and maturing to do and I will say I'm glad I'm he one riding him because patience and calm/impersonal energy is very necessary. 
_____________

Egrogan- thank you. Generally speaking I try to be as honest and literal as possible about my experiences as a young horse rider. It's very rewarding but can be dangerous and frustrating at times. 

But thank you I'm grateful to be alright. That stuff does scare me, I don't have a physiological response anymore but thinking about it logically it's hard not to realize how bad it could have been and how fortunate I am to have come off and for him to have come down on his feet. When I came off, I literally just grabbed him. No anger or frustration and got back on and he was pretty good after that. He felt REALLY guilty, I don't think he knew he could hurt me and felt sorry that he did it. Horses are capable of remorse, not the way we do but they do have feelings and emotions. 
_____________

Tanja- He is. I wasn't unfair, he's just quirky and special. Not a mean horse, just a half arab. Dante was just as naughty unfortunately and we worked past it, so I think Saturday will too. Arabs are very late maturing, Saturday is about 16.1h. 

it really is. I believe horses should be allowed to be horses but not when they do stupid stuff. Frankie is usually pretty good but she was galloping with my friends mare and playing rough. I'm generally not too over protective but not impressed lol. The vet is looking at her tomorrow morning *Crosses fingers* she's okay.

But thank you, I do my best and constantly work on myself and my babies. 
_____________

Update

I rode Bailey and Dev last night, both were really good. I also hand walked Frankie. We're working on getting her official paperwork from ISR/oldenburg and getting all that settled, so I can get her show registrations taken care of. I'm going to talk to one of my trainers about registration for myself. I feel fairly conflicted with being considered a "professional" it's just weird to say, so I have to up my game and work hard to get a lot better so I can hold that standard lol. 

Bailey and I did a lot of collected work, some extended, 3 loop serpentines on a long rein, quite a bit of walk, some canter piroette type stuff because it really transforms his canter, counter canter which on a horse with changes is more challenging, some shoulder in, haunches in and half pass and lots of walk and stretching. After the ride I gave him a massage, stretched him and hand walked him and I think that helped him feel better. He's fairly tight and part of why I did all that work was because I'm trying to strengthen and loosen him up. He's pretty tight to the right and really doesn't want to bend properly to the right, midway he let go and really came around properly. He loosened up quite a lot, I really hope he feels better. His posture improved a lot after the massage and stretching.

Dev was REALLY good. Getting back on him after about a week or so off showed me how much I've improved in a short amount of time. His canter was just phenomenal, our canter transitions were on point. He really swung a lot through his back and just felt good. On the ground he got on my nerves, super mouthy and acting like a 2yr old, I'd literally turn around for 2 seconds and my reins would be up in his mouth. Had to smack him a few times, by the time I rode him I had run out of patience for the day.

Frankie I walked in hand and she was really good, had to smack her once which I almost never do because she's so good and doesnt need much correction wise. Like if she is too rough all I have to do is say Frankie we've talked about this and she is more gentle (I let her style my hair with her lips). She is not particularly mouthy but she needs a lot of cuddle time and affection. Vet should be seeing her fat leg tomorrow. I decided to just have her looked at. There is no heat but a lot of swelling and if she's torn or strained something I want to know. 

I also rode a horse named Grover who is a 17.1h dutch warmblood, very different type from anything I've ridden. Did a lot of sitting trot on him. Had a really good lesson from Mari. I learn such an incredible amount every time she instructs me and they're such simple things but so useful. I elaborately told her thank you last night. I'm just grateful. 

BTW Saturday is a ham






T
Frankie pictures. In the cross ties she was drying and mad because I was cutting another horses mane and not paying attention to her which was ABSOLUTELY not okay, so she was trying to get my attention. Then a few pictures with her and her brother because they love each other. Between the two of them they're very different movers, it's so hard to say which one is nicer because they're so different and have different qualities. Dev has a lot more presence, Frankie is more correct with truer gaits but Dev has a WOW factor to him and such presence, you just notice him. But we'll see what Frankie is like as she matures, she's not really a ham and not really a show off and not a strong presence.


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## knightrider

Very scary fall. I looked at your picture very carefully and it looks as if the horse is on only one hind foot. I am very very glad he didn't go over on you because if he was on only one foot, he easily could have. Good job of handling it well. I don't know if you were following the thread about when a horse rears over backwards and kills the rider, but @Foxhunter put up this video, which I thought was very well done. I hope I never have to do this, but I was glad to study it. 






So glad you handled it so capably!


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## Foxhunter

One thing that I was taught was that if a horse is really messing around, quit your stirrups, which Paul says in the video. The risk of a foot getting caught in the iron is to great.

The Spanish Riding School, when performing the Airs Above the Ground, do not have stirrups.


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## Rainaisabelle

Oh Lordy Cassie! That picture almost gave me a heart attack!! I'm so glad you're okay!!


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## Tazzie

I'm very glad you're ok! The video is terrifying! Thank goodness you came out of it fine!

I'm glad Dev did so well under saddle with so much time off! That's awesome!

Also glad you're getting to ride Bailey  he sounds like such a cool horse! And just flat out fun!!

I sure hope Frankie feels better  poor baby! Playing too rough gets you every times!

Grover sounds cool! I'm glad you had such a good lesson with Mari! She sounds really special


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## Tihannah

Holy Cow! Where have I been?? That pic is so scary, Cassie!! So glad you're okay. You know I wanna see the video!

Love the pics of Frankie and Dev. They're so stinkin cute!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Knightrider- I like the video and I'm hoping this doesn't happen again. I feel confident we can get Saturday over this, it'll take time but he's really a very kind horse. Just insecure and sensitive and he's been cowboyed and I think that's why he does it quite this bad. A horse like this will not get on with a I'm going to make you attitude. This is very much a horse you have to earn his respect and show him the line but at the same time build his confidence, trust in the rider and encourage a lot.

And he was on one foot, he was pivoting. It happened really fast.
_________________

Foxhunter- I agree if you can get your feet out quick enough. This horse I'd be very hesitant to drop my stirrups just because he's playing around because he's very sensitive. Not sensitive as in I'm going to bolt but sensitive as in landing too hard in the saddle causes him to stiffen and shut down, not being in balance shuts him down, any strong aids and he gets defensive and loose stirrups I wouldn't feel safe doing on him because of how he reacts. Right now I'm really working on gaining his confidence and trust because he's very defensive and reacts very fast, not much warning. He had a cowboy rider ride him for a little bit and I think that's part of why he acts up so bad to protect himself, I think he was bullied under saddle and this was his only way to have a voice. So I'm trying to regain his confidence and trust but also expect he doesnt think no in an answer to reasonable request. Today he was really good, had much more of a yes mam attitude. I didn't canter but better attitude. He wants to be good. Not at all mean spirited, he's really a very kind-sweet horse but he is sensitive and insecure. 

If a rider gets on him with a you will do this or else attitude or they expect to get 100% of what they want they'll lose. It's an artful negotiation, if you can get improvement and 75% of what you want then that's pretty good!
_________________

Raina- Thank you Raina! I'm very glad to be okay too! I'm really grateful! 
_________________

Katie-It really was but thank you! I'm very grateful to be alive and okay. My friend was really concerned because I fell from so high up and I was a bit sore but not too bad.

Me too! I'm super proud of him. He was vetted today but something came up (nothing major) but on his xrays, so I'm hoping she'll understand no horse vets perfectly. If you vet any horse you're going to find something, it's just figuring out what you can work with. So we'll see. But fact is you can vet 5 horses and most likely every one of them will have something.

He really is! He's just a good soul and honestly special in the sense that he is literally the perfect schoolmaster. He immediately knows a rider's capability and really senses what they can handle. He'll look after a child or adult amateur but at the same time will be peppy and ready for someone else. He's a special horse. 

Me too! We think she has bacterial infection and are treating her with antibiotics, poulticing, cold hosing and lunging for about a week. She was perfectly sound when I lunged her today.

He's interesting to ride, doesn't feel like anything I've ridden before. He honestly rides more like a draft horse, very side to side and smooth. But Mari is pretty special. Just so common sense, pragmatic and always improving herself. She's working on her L certification and after that her r certification for judging. I think she'll make a great judge. She's so objective and has plenty of riding experience. She is one score short of her gold medal but didn't want to push her GP horse as he was older and she said he was telling her he was ready to retire. 
_________________

Tina-I sent you the video. It was fairly scary, I don't really have a physiological response. Im very calm when stuff like that happens and just gather myself back up and get back on. I think being calm is a better response with some horses.

And yes they are! It's cute when you see siblings get along!
_________________

Update

Im extremely fatigued and exhausted, it's pretty annoying. I napped from 6-9 and will be going to be soon. I don't believe in New Year festivities. It's just another day/night to me.

Frankie is going to be fine! The swelling is some kind of bacterial infection, so Frankie is on antibiotics, cold hosing, antibiotics and lunging. She was totally sound when I lunged her. I was like thank god!

Frankie had a temper tantrum because I was stood away from her but not touching. It's a growing up moment. 











I also rode Saturday and he was really good. He went forward when he wanted to stop and he let me tap him with the whip on the shoulder. It's really a gentle touch but he responded well to it and kept going because I asked. The saddle felt like it was rocking, so I didn't canter. But walk-trot, fall in, fall out, leg yield, etc and correcting him when he curled and trying to get him better in the contact. He came up in his back a lot more today and had more of a yes mam attitude, so I was pretty proud 

Afterwards I gave Saturday a full body massage because he was doing some weird stuff undersaddle like curling behind the bit, difficulty bending leg, etc. I don't ride strong and don't pull or compress in the bridle a whole lot, so I did muscle work and his neck on the left side is ridiculously tight. I did a lot with it to help it loosen up. I don't know why it's so tight but he absolutely LOVED his massage. I think it really helped him and I'm going to start doing it more on him. I also gave my friend a massage who is very blunt (after I broke my hand I gained a little weight and she was like omg Cassie what happened to your @ss it's huge and I was like well I've gained some weight and she's like lose it, that @ss doesn't suit you :lol: ) she's one of my best friends but she was like Cassie have you thought of doing equine therapy you're really good at it and I thought about it and I don't think I can because the hand I broke over summer gets really sharp pains when I do too much massage with it.

Frankie is very special, my friends keep saying if I was a horse Id be Frankie lol Im as quirky as Frankie and not right as she is lol. Franke is very sweet, so sweet and very smart but she's a little not right. Just a lovable, goofy, oddball I love. She's very sensitive.


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## Rainaisabelle

May I please see the video as well?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright update

Frankie is doing a LOT better since we started her on the antibiotics and wrapping. She's sound on the lungeline and looks good and her legs are back to normal, so I'm not sure when we can start riding her again. The vet saw her Saturday and said keep her moving. I may text him and ask. The vet and I know each other really well, we have our inside jokes. I call him rainbow and he calls me sunshine because I light up his life with my glorious rays of shine (that's meant to be read in humor). We do it because it's funny. But Frankie got a full body massage today, I felt it was wrong of me to give them to other horses and not her. She LOVED it, really appreciated it.

I rode Saturday and Dev today.

I am SO SO proud of Saturday, he was SO SO good today! I am not riding him to be foot perfect or to get him as through or uphill as possible. My goal was to be as light as possible. We made some modifications to the fit of the saddle which helped a lot. I found it harder to get my balance in it but he was so much happier and he felt good. I did a lot of muscle work on him the other day and some today and I think that's helping too. He has a weird tight muscle on the left hand side that I have no idea how he got but I'm working it out.

I think a lot of the issues we're working through are from him being cowboyed and made to do things with no negotiations. Which just doesn't work on a horse like this. Saturday has good intentions and means well, he just doesn't always know how and he's been bullied quite a bit which is why I'm trying to prevent him from getting defensive and rewarding and encouraging him as much as possible. It's also part of why when I ask him to canter I don't really set him up for the canter, he knows what canter means and I don't want to quite put a solid canter aid on because he's still so hesitant and gets so tense into the transition. I want to encourage him forward and get him really confident about the transition vs feeling forced or goosed into it. 

I also rode him fairly loose in the bridle because I'm trying to get him to seek the contact and reach into it, my aim was to ride him a hair above the vertical because I really want to form good habits with him, especially being half arab. I don't want to deal with the arab contact issues and curling which they find so easy to do.

He was SO proud of himself after our ride. Literally after this video I walked a few steps and hopped off. He was so good, I was on him maybe 20 minutes. I'm a big believer in rewarding them when they're good and let them know how special they are. It's good to see him gaining confidence and feeling good about himself.

Not just that but a horse let itself loose from it's stall and was walking up and down the aisles and came across the arena and Saturday didn't spook, start or get upset. He was alert but when I put my leg on, he listened! I was SO proud of him because not long ago that was impossible. He'd just spook and go and I'd have to get off and put him in line, not today.






Goofy video. I have fun with the horses I work with, they enjoy it and I enjoy it. I really enjoy Saturday, he really is a good boy.






Dev was also really good for as much time as he's had off. It took quite a lot of work, it literally took everything I had to ride him. He wasn't naughty at all but to organize his balance, get him to bend his rib cage and soften. His canter was a gigantic mess starting out, thank God for Mari's advice she helped me SO much and showed me how much I need to work on my core because I allow myself to move too much with the horses rather than really holding myself. I sit fairly lightly but a lot more core strength to develop. It killed my core and I actually have pretty defined muscle in my abs but not strong enough. Dev is basically like riding a big moving, awkward horse with a leg going every which way lol. It literally wore me out lol but it was a great ride and really Dev was VERY good! He listened and tuned in when he needed to, despite having he attention span of a squirrel. He is an ADD horse.

I think I've done way too much massage these last few days because my hand I broke is REALLY hurting. It makes me sad because I enjoy massage and I'm pretty good at it but I have to be careful with my hand. I've had a few people suggest I get into equine therapy and massage. I may consider getting my certification in equine massage.


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## Rainaisabelle

Aw he's so cute!!


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## PoptartShop

Awwww super cute!!  So glad you had great rides! I'm happy Frankie is doing better too.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad you weren't too sore! It was quite the height!

Bummer, but yeah. You'll have to let me know what she decides.

He sounds very special! What a good boy!

Poor Frankie  but I'm glad to read she's doing better and her leg looks normal! I hope you can start riding her again soon! I'm sure she'll enjoy it!

I'm glad Mari listened to what he was saying and didn't just push him. Mark of a true horsewoman with that. It's awesome she's going to so many certifications!

Frankie really is a special nut :lol: silly pony! But the videos are darling!

I'm glad Saturday is doing so well! He looked really good in that video! Really good! He'll get there. I think you've come a long way with him already in that he went forward and stayed forward. That's progress! And he's such a character :lol: love him!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Raina- yes he is. He's a cute guy!
__________________

Poptartshop- Thank you the rides were pretty good last night. I was SUPER proud of Saturday and Dev was really good too! He's getting a lot stronger. 
__________________

Katie- It was but I'm glad I really just need a chiropractic adjustment. I REALLY need an adjustment. 

I'm hoping she'll still get him. If she doesn't I think it's a mistake, there is no such thing as a perfect horse.

He can be, he has to learn to be obedient but it's tough sometimes. I had to get off him tonight and kick his butt so he'd trot when I'd ask but he's just gotta learn to go when asked. It doesn't get to be a discussion. 

I really hope I can start riding her again soon! She looks really good atm. It'll be nice to sit on my own horse again lol.

Mari's really good about listening to the horses and not over work them. She doesn't drill them too much. And yes I'm really excited for her to get all the certifications, it's good for her and we all benefit from it too. 

Yes Frankie is a very special kind of unique, she is entirely her own horse. She's definitely mine lol.

And thank you! Im really glad he's starting to grow up. He's learning and starting to figure it out. Step by step. It's getting better and yes he's definitely a funny one. I don't know, Pam says I have that effect on horses but I'm not sure it's my fault or if they've always been this way.
__________________

Update

Frankie is doing better. I asked the vet when I could start riding her again. She's sound and very brave, however she stole my hat. 

Also rode Saturday. I didn't do a lot because he felt like he was a little sore. So I just did walk, trot both directions and be obedient and that's it. He just didn't feel quite right in his back.


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## Tazzie

Do you have one scheduled soon?

There really isn't. Hopefully you hear something soon about him.

Yeah, that isn't that much to ask for. It's a very simple request really. Poor boy being sore though 

What did the vet say about riding? And she is a brave little girl  so sweet!

Drilling isn't good. Not flat out, nothing but doing this stuff, kind of drilling at least. I ask for a few reps, see a small improvement, and call it good. Drilling I think just makes them sour. And yes! Will definitely benefit you all!

She definitely is :lol: nothing wrong with that!

Maybe you just bring out their personalities? So many people cause them to hide them, I don't see why it'd be much of a stretch to think people bring out the goofball personalities! I'm glad he's starting to grow up though


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## frlsgirl

Oh my both Frankie and Saturday are such goof balls; I don't recall, do they share some of the same bloodlines? Ana gets impatient like that as well and will nicker at me if I walk away to talk to someone else or even worse, give another horse any kind of attention.

Hope Frankie gets well soon.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie-I was worked on yesterday, yay!

I don't know what her answer will be but my fingers and toes are crossed. I think she's waiting on what a surgeon's opinion would be.

And yes Frankie is VERY brave! She lunged over a poll trot and canter and let me take it down and put it away. She's pretty brave for a youngster! 

Exactly, that's how we are too. Drill a little, see a little improvement or they kinda get the concept, move on and come back. If you try to beat it into them most horses just shut down and get fussy and irritated. I hate watching people drill horses over and over again. It doesn't accomplish anything.

lol yes she is. I showed my friend the video and she was like yeah she's you as a horse.

And I might. I'm not totally sure. I'm extremely goofy and odd. But I just say I'm hysterical and delightful, so really the complete package of joy! But I think different people definitely can bring out different personality traits lol. 
_____________

Tanja- All the babies have Donnerhall in their lines but I don't really think of them as being very related. Saturday and Frankie are pretty separate lineage wise. 

Saturday is R line and half arab and Frankie is F line and 1/4 thoroughbred. They're just goofy ponies but they tell me I make horses goofy because Im so goofy but I'm not convinced lol. I think theyre born that way.
_____________

UPDATE

In search of Dante's bill of sale to my insurance company because they're kinda making me mad atm lol. I cancelled Dante's in September and are claiming I didn't but will honor it if I can find Dante's bill of sale, so still looking because I am not an organized person.

Rode Dev yesterday and let me say he was TOUGH yesterday. The saddle is starting to get too tight on him so steering is ridiculously tough. I mean I was leaning to the inside so hard, bring his neck in and half halting the outside shoulder to struggle turning a giant circle. He was hard to ride yesterday, getting him through and over his back was really tough and keep him from either stopping or running off in all 3 gaits. And keep his attention because it was like working with a total ADHD cadet. It was a good ride but my goodness it wore me out, so much core. When people ask me how I got my abs, this horse is a big part of why. He takes SO much to organize, he's naturally not coordinated and awkward with huge paces. He's had a bit of time off, so bending right is an excessive challenge. He can turn his head right but bending through his rib cage is a lot of step in, come onto a small, circle step out and then Dev remembers he can move his shoulders over and bend in the rib cage. He's a good boy but no attention span sometimes. ON the ground he's been driving me nuts, I've smacked him a few times on the nose and he think it's a game and then he's like wait I don't like that. He's also grown a TON he's at least 16.3h now. He's almost level with me.

Spent time with Frankie, Saturday had the day off. I'm supposed to ride her today, vet gave the okay.

Video with Frankie. I look pretty awful in it but don't really care because Frankie is so cute. I know it's mostly the lighting but lol. And the farting noises are made by the mare across from Frankie who makes those noises with her mouth :lol: it's hilarious.


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## EmberScarlet

Subbing for later!


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## Tazzie

I'm so glad you were worked on!! I'm sure you feel A LOT better!

I sure hope so! Has she found a surgeon?

What a good pony she is!

And yes, drilling for nothing other than to drill is just ugh. Like no. Look for improvement or understanding, and move on.

You really are the complete package of joy :lol: but I'm sure that's why the horses are goofballs with you haha!

Hopefully you find Dante's bill of sale :/ how frustrating!

And man Dev sounded tough! Is there a different saddle you can use on him? That would fit better? I know time off didn't help either, but yikes.

I sure hope your ride goes well with Frankie! She's such a love  love the video!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- I do. I don't feel so [email protected] crooked anymore lol!

I think she has and is basically asking if he eventually needs surgery whether or not it'll be a success. 

She really is. If you encourage her the right way but she is an ask, don't tell horse. She does have some idea of how she should be treated but for the most part she's very agreeable. 

I've seen some awful things at the barns around here with people over drilling horses, I'm always amazed their horses tolerate their riding. They'll be FEI trainers and honestly if they rode any of mine. I think they'd end up in a wall because their aids are so blunt and unrefined with a demanding overtone. And the horses seem so dull and numb it amazes me. I saw a rider who was showing in a PSG or I1 class take out both legs and cowboy kick a horse with spurs and have a tantrum on the horse for being late in a change. I just thought great take it out on the horse for your bad riding and for making the horse so dull to your aids that it's confused about what you want.

:lol: thank you. I think I"m a joy to be around lol well usually I make people laugh and chuckle. Whether at me or with me I'm not sure but as long as I keep people smiling and laughing, it's all good. One of the horse's tried to lick my chest and so I was like run for cover mounds, bury yourselves back inside and flee from attack!

I hope so, if not I think I can ask for it lol. 

He really was. He gets frustrating sometimes :lol: I love him but he's such a ding bat sometimes. He's not a dumb horse, he's just such a huge moving, awkward, dorky horse with adhd. His short ewe neck doesn't help because sometimes you have to really flex and compress him to get him to take his neck out and reach into the bit rather than suck back. He's just a tricky horse to ride well. I think he'll always have a tendency to get behind the bit but sometimes it's just frustrating. He's a great horse to ride because you have to be SO strong in your core and body. I literally have abs from riding him, Dante gave me abs too but Dev is a HUGE mover. Even for 16.3h he has a TON of movement. I literally have to tighten my whole core against him to half halt and get a response and had to do it every two strides. I was exhausted then weaving his shoulders in and out down the line to keep him through and not fall in or fall out. And turning left to get him to turn, literally leaning side ways, totally stepping into the inside stirrup turning in with an organization half halt and getting him to turn as tight as possible, had to go to walk to remind him of how to turn and then try again at trot. It just gets frustrating sometimes :lol: His canter felt great though and I was told he looked really good but literally wore me out with sore core lol.

But thank you! She really is. I simply adore and love her, she's my special girl! She's not quite right but I'm not either so it works lol.


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## frlsgirl

Saddle fit and steering....hmmm that gives me something to think about. Also Frankie is so cute! Makes me want to run to the barn and cuddle with my pony.

Random question: in your recent riding videos you are wearing a T-shirt; meanwhile I'm wearing a longsleeve shirt plus 2 jackets lol - is your indoor heated?


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## Tazzie

Yay!!! I'm glad you don't feel so crooked now!!

Hopefully she gets good answers, and SOON!

Well, I'd be surprised if she didn't have an idea of how she should be treated. She's a good horse 

That's not a good way to get through to them :/ Izzie would toss me to the rafters if I dared kick her like that. That all just sounds horrible and unpleasant :/ I hate drilling something as much as Izzie does, so neither of us would enjoy being in a place like that....

****! Ok, that made me laugh at work. Thanks for that, now people know I am actually crazy!! But seriously, hilarious :lol:

I can imagine! It's tough on the body when they are in that kind of mood or having those types of issues. Hopefully you're feeling better now! And hopefully he gets a saddle that fits a bit better to allow for him to move in it better!

It does work, and works well  I'm so happy you have her!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- it makes a big difference. I can't say I blame the horses for it, I can't imagine it's comfortable to try to move when pressure is being put on your withers and the pressure increases when you become through and balanced. It's like being punished for doing the right things. Or a saddle that rocks, I can get why it can make horses irregular or appear lame or make horses act up when they're not actually naughty. I'd act out too if it was bothering me enough. 

But thank you she is a cutie and yes our barn is heated, it heats up to about 45 degree. Most people still wear jackets and things but even when I was in Germany I had short sleeves on in 20 degree, biting weather when I was riding. I get too overheated.
_______________________

Katie- And she's buying him today!! Hurray!

And yes she is! Frankie is a smart and sensitive girlie!

I've seen some awful things done to horses. Very sad. It really isn't. There are days when I think a certain amount of drilling can be good with certain horses. I had to do that with Saturday yesterday on the lunge and break down step by step to help him bend correctly left through his whole neck and not just break his neck up when going left and curl behind the contact. I'm done with arab crosses :lol: The neck contortion possibilities are so frustrating. But rough drilling and beating it into their head is terrible. Quickest way to shut down a good horse.

lol I'm glad I was able to make you laugh at work, even if everyone thinks you're crazy. It's kinda ironic because everyone usually thinks I'm crazy :lol: glad I'm not the only one. 

It really is. Riding is hard work! It's hard, especially on the core and back. 

And thank you I'm glad I have her too! She's my baby!!
_______________________

Update

I rode Frankie yesterday and she was really good. She was full of it on the lunge line, leaping, bucking, taking off. I limited the silliness but she was full of herself. And after I rode her walk-trot. She's struggling with bending left for some reason. Very difficult yesterday. Hopefully trying saddles on her this weekend. 

Also lunged Saturday. I lunged him harder than I meant to but I was trying to help him bend left, I tried running the lunge through the bit to the girth then to the saddle hook, then to the stirrup billet strap and that finally got him to bend correctly left. So we're working on bending going left and right and getting him to bend correctly and bring his shoulder out. I'm doing it from the ground for a little while until he works it out and can correctly use his body. I think it'll be better to work on it from the ground with him because he tends to just stop whenever he works things out.


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## PoptartShop

Wow she must be feeling super sassy! I hope trying different saddles helps her out. Lots of energy!

Good job on lunging Saturday. Working from the ground up is always the best way to go.  I hope you get some good rides in this weekend!


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## DanteDressageNerd

PoptartShop- She was SO full of herself! She was absolutely exhausted today, really felt like a drunk to ride!

Sometimes it's better to address from the ground and sometimes it's better to address from the saddle, with this bend issue, definitely because he doesnt bend through his whole neck left. He kinda bends it and then juts behind the bridle and get stuck in his neck. So I think lunging is the best way to go. 
______________

UPDATE

Here are some Frankieline pictures and a video of our ride from tonight. Just so you know she was pretty hard to ride tonight. I think you can see how difficult she was to organize. Balance was definitely tricky. She was leaning around quite a bit. I think a lot of it was because the saddle we rode in tonight was too tight on her and she was trying to avoid engaging her trapezius and really come over her back. Yesterday we rode in one that was too wide and today too narrow. Trying to get her a MW verago 18in but saddle fitting tomorrow.

I also told Mari today that I had forgotten to worship her as the dressage God and she started laughing and I went into an explanation of how it was so cold the juices in my nose had frozen and it bothered me because I can feel my nostril hair :lol: Im really neurotic when it comes to feeling and my brain was NOT where it should have been today. I was struggling to focus which honestly is my biggest issue as a rider. Stupid ADHD, I forgot my ritalin today too which was probably part of it. I guess the joke is I'm a lovely combination of ADHD, aspergers, anxiety and depression. Such a lovely combination of pure chaos inside my brain with occasional moments of brilliance and a lot of eccentric qualities and troubles. Really not a bonus with school coming around on Monday. Im one of those who if I'm not really interested in things, I will spend no time on them. I have no attention span and really a very random, everywhere as once, going all the time, busy brain. My IQ is in the 99th percentile but it's honestly not a bonus, it drives me crazy. High aptitude but no attention span lol. Really not an ideal brain, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I was thinking about it because I've been asked a few times what's easier to ride, a plainer horse to these warmbloods and I'd say the plainer horses are a lot easier to organize and ride but they do take longer to develop. Organizing all the power and movement is a lot trickier to keep them from over taking themselves and keep them from getting unbalanced and staying confident moving forward. If they're not relatively balanced they shut down. Frankie was leaning in and out quite a lot and really didn't want to bend either direction.







Riding





Frankie videos not in order and yes my stirrup leathers are way too short but I didn't want to adjust them once I got on and I had thought they were my length :lol: nope

Frankie left





Frankie right


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## Tazzie

That is great news!! Absolutely awesome!!

She sounds smart and sensitive  but so good!

Some drilling, yes. But every ride shouldn't be drill drill drill. And lol I don't blame you. The Arab crosses are tricky. If it weren't for my incentive fund and all the friends I've made in the Arab world, I'd be done too.

Most know I'm crazy, but I've removed all doubt from the ones who didn't :lol: it's boring being normal anyway haha! But it was a good laugh lol and your recent update with the cold and nose hairs LMFAO! I laughed pretty hard!

That silly mare! So much pep! I'm glad she was good today, even if she rode a little drunk :lol: she looks really good though! What a good baby!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- it really is I'm SO happy she bought him. Now I'm working on convincing her there is no way her saddle will work on him. There is absolutely no way. It's a very curved tree that is too wide and totally the wrong shape for his back. I pray she'll listen and get him fitted for a different saddle because Dev has a very flat back and that saddle honestly is a horrible fit like NO way to make it work. It would rock so badly on his back with like a 3in space that makes contact with his back. I'm hoping she'll add herself to the list for saddle fitting this weekend, so at least she'll have a demo saddle to try.

She really is. She's a good girl. She was a bit spooky and playful last night, that didn't really get recorded. She kinda bucked a little but not serious just got scared by the light changing in the arena and got a little worked up. 

lol they really are. I like arabs but the crosses come with SO many quirks. I've never had more trouble than with arab crosses :lol: and Sporty but Sporty is a horse all his own (dutchxtbxirish sport horse). And no drill, drill, drill all the time is definitely bad. Once in a while it can be necessary but not like going half an hour at the same thing. But gotta teach Saturday how to bend properly and I don't feel he'll work it out as well undersaddle as on the ground. He keeps cheating in his neck left and I know it's because of that muscle but we've gotta get him able to stretch through his neck properly with consistent bend in the entire neck and rib cage. I'm hoping he'll figure it out soon! 

:lol: I'm glad, sometimes people can't believe the crazy until they see it for sure. Eccentric is good! It's at least entertaining and not boring, usually very intelligent people are very quirky and odd lol. I've also noticed odd people seem to be less judgmental than ones who say they're normal. I think it's because we have no place to be looking down our nose at people :lol: and because we look more at whats being said vs how it's said. And yes that's part of why I was distracted I was trying to make people laugh and I have to work at it :lol: so brain was multitasking when it should have been focusing on Frankie. She needed a lot of help! 

And thank you. She was pretty good. We're hopefully getting her fitted for a saddle today, so hopefully we'll have a saddle of our own soon! M is too narrow and W is too big. I suspect she may be a wide eventually but I don't know. Lots of growing over the next few years. She really was very good consider the saddle was too tight and working two days in a row after 9 days off!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright saddle fitting update. We're on the search for a MW trilogy verago.

Frankie rode TOTALLY different in a saddle that actually fit her. Anything too wide or too narrow she rides like a drunk. I honestly feel a bit better about last night's ride after feeling how she rode in the different saddles. In a saddle that fit she was great!, in one that didn't it was like trying to organize a drunk who was wobbily. It really pointed out to me the importance of saddle fit, especially on these young horses who dont have mature backs or bodies and do not have the coordination, body awareness or understanding of an adult horse. I really feel a lot better about last nights ride realizing I wasnt riding like [email protected], she really couldn't balance herself under a poor fitting saddle and it didn't matter how I rode it. She wasn't able to go her best or balance. 

Also interesting she was difficult to halt on in a poor fitting saddle. If the saddle fit she felt great, like the horse I know!

And I started re-reading the Harry Potter series :lol: I was a total Potterhead in my youth and now that Im re-reading them I forgot how good they really are. I honestly used to read a TON. I'm actually really well read, I've read most of Shakespeare's plays, a TON of ethics, economics, philosophy, etc works. I've read a lot of greek/roman/medieval/renaissance works. Quite a bit of British classics like Charles Dickens, Charlotte Bronte, etc. Of course I read Lord of the Rings and a few books from Chronicles of Narnia when I was pretty young (10-11). Machiavelli, Erasmus, etc


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## frlsgirl

We have a tack shop about 30 minutes away; they let you take 2 saddles at a time to try for a week; when I first got Ana I did that for several weeks and it was so interesting to see her reaction and her way of going in different saddles; even the ones that kind of fit but had different balance points caused her to feel very different. I hope you find exactly what you're looking for.

Also nice to see you're finally wearing a jacket


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## PoptartShop

That's good to know she acts like her normal self in a fitting saddle. That's the best way to figure out what works & what doesn't! 
Ah, I read all the HP books when I was younger too. Such classics. Make me want to dig mine up! :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Thank you. That's nice that you have a tack shop so close, that helps a lot! And thank you. I'm in search for the saddle I want. Definitely will be trialing before buying.

And yeah it's been a little cold lol.
____________________

PoptartShop- It really is. Gotta figure out what she likes and let her tell us her opinion lol. Trial and error.

They're really great!! I've read over 600 pages in the last few days. They're wonderful!
____________________

Update

Rode Frankie in the saddle, not the one I'm getting and I HATE it. I cant ride well in it because it throws my balance off and I cant ride Frankie's canter well at all when I'm trying to stay balanced on a huge moving, unbalanced 3yr old while trying to balance in a saddle that is just wrong for me, as in I'd probably have been better off bareback (wouldnt do on barely broke 3yr old). My saddle fitter friend totally agreed it was a way wrong fit for me but it fit Frankie, so we had a lesson in it. Frankie was really good.

Im back in school and took a break from horses today. 

But I'll say this I'm pretty p!ssed off and that's the only reason I'm not in bed atm. I absolutely HATE it when people are passive aggressive and insult me. It's not a pride thing, it's a if that's how you're going to treat me then I absolutely won't do any special favors for you anymore. I used to be more patient and forgiving but anymore Im tired of being the punching bag. Im tired of people taking out their frustration on me, I'm not a doormat anymore. When I was younger I was, now it just [email protected] me off. Dont take your frustrations out on me, I'm not your scape goat. I'm tired of people trying to control, manipulate and tell me who to be, how to behave and telling me I'm not good enough. I'm just sick of it. I hate being put down for the reason of I don't want you to be confident or feel good about yourself because I want to still be able to control you. If you don't believe in me and wont give me a chance and just assume I cant do anything right, then why are we friends?

I've dated psychopaths and sociopaths, was bullied for much of my childhood and teenagehood and I think even in friendships, work relationships anything. It's really affected me deeply, I just don't tolerate what I used to. Im tired of being the punching bag and being made to feel like nothing I do is good enough, it used to upset me and now it just p!sses me off. I've struggled with self esteem, depression, eating disorders (I dont talk about it a lot, Im a lot better now), and strew of things for much of my life and there comes a point where everything just builds and all that is left is fury. I'm pretty good about letting things go but I dont forget who people are, especially when things dont go their way. I don't understand people, I know it's their issue and not me but it does tick me off. 

Cowardice and passive aggressive stuff just infuriates me. I've been bullied quite a lot and Im quick to pick up pattern recognition and when I know someone well, I know exactly what they're really saying when they wont say what they really mean. Im not nasty, Im not mean, I'm pretty pleasant and humorful and I'm genuinely very compassionate and caring. I mean well because I mean well, not because I want anything, I just care but it infuriates me when because I'm that way people think I have no back bone or I'm a coward or wont stand up for myself and they can just take out their frustration on me. Just had enough. I also have a pretty intimidating presence when I assume command or control of a situation, otherwise I'm pretty goofy and humorful but see me serious and focused and I'm intimidating. I have a very authoritative voice and commanding presence when I need it. There's a reason in the Marines, quite a few of those boys were scared of me and used to warn people I was the last person they should ever tick off. I was a good Marine.

My soul songs


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## Tazzie

Were you able to convince her that she needs a different saddle? I sure hope so. Hers sounds totally wrong for him :/

Silly baby and that silly light! She'll get used to it all though 

They are pretty frustrating lol but glad you're figuring out how to help him bend on the ground so he can figure it out under saddle. I know you'll get through to him and it'll be a light bulb moment 

Lol, that is true. We're all a little crazy here I think :lol:

I understand that. And I wouldn't be surprised if she had to move up to a wide eventually! She's a good baby!

I'm super glad you found out what saddle you need! Now to just find it! It's amazing how much saddle fit affects EVERYTHING. Just truly amazing really. I'm glad she went so much better for you! And I knew you weren't riding like [email protected] Just the saddle making you feel like you are!

Awesome that you're rereading the Harry Potter series! They are great books!

What saddle did you ride in? Sucks you felt so unbalanced in it :/ just sounds overall unpleasant!

And you have every right to be mad. It was TOTALLY uncalled for! Just NOT cool at all! To heck with the haters!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I probably will not be updating for a while. I'm really busy ATM with my classes which is why I'm not responding to posts yet and just wanted to say so. Lots of reading and work. 

I'm Bonding really well with Saturday, he's picked up on a lot of basics he had missed. The lunging has really helped him learn how to use himself. I rode him last night in a different saddle, he really likes and he was great!! He was exhausted from lunging last night but he cantered both directions and really tried! He's also figured out how to balance and still needs to understand the connection between the inside leg and outside rein better but he's getting it. Contact he's still figuring out and I'm riding him slightly above the contact because he keeps wanting to duck behind and avoid engaging his back. Still have to make some hand motions to direct his balanc and neck so he used it correctly because the crookedness in his neck is dependent on position and also hand position to show him where and how to bend. I usually keep my hand close together but he still needs help and to be shown, so I kinda call it guiding like holding a rein out wide to get him to move his shoulder out. Also have to ride him with my right leg slightly back to help show him where his right leg goes. He does a lovely haunches in right but it's really because he doesn't want to bring his right leg under so shoulder in positioning and quite a bit of counter flexion right to get him to take the left rein (problem rein) bother directions. So progress and a lot of step to go through but progress.

I have a saddle coming this week to try and can't really ride Frankie until it comes in because too narrow and she avoids lifting through her wither and tries to maneuver away from the saddle, so she rides like a drunk and too wide, even with padding she is like riding a drunk because the saddle is shifting and moving and she's listening trying to figure out where to be. She's sensitive in a listening way, no an over reactive way. So waiting on a saddle and hoping it works, so I can ride her. I don't mind her having so much time off because she is so young and I don't believe in over working babies. Especially a 3yr old.

I'm still fairly frustrated, I really resent controlling personalities. It's a personality I just don't get along with which for some reason surprises people because I'm a former Marine but in reality Marines are taught to listen and obey out of respect but to also think independently and say when they think a call is wrong but more so in a better to ask for permission than forgiveness kind of way. The good Marines are respectfully belligerent if that makes any sense. And aim definitely independent minded and hate a controlling personality. I'm no one's property, I can make my own decisions and make my own mistakes. Allow me to experience. Be reasonable but people who think they're always right and the only ones with a clue tick me off and I will not be treated as a servant or subordinate outside of a job. Respect the chain of command but do not order me when I dam* well know my rights.

I'm also thinking I want to be a high school math teacher for the reason that many teachers really don't know how to teach math or break down the components in the process of developing mathematical understanding. They neglect the process completely of working through problems and understanding the concept and logic of why it's done a certain way to teach theory and talk about it without showing people how to work the problem or adjust their explanation for someone to understand. It frustrates me, they expect kids to either pick it up innately or don't bother helping them understand where the holes in their logic and reasoning are along the process. And I think that's part of why a lot of kids get lost in the system, told they're bad at a subject they're really not bad at, and develop hate for something they probably wouldn't if given the chance. If I can teach kids that hate math how to do it and feel confident and maybe enjoy it, that really would satisfy me for life.


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## Tazzie

I'm so glad Saturday is doing so well!! What a smart boy  good idea going back to basics.

Time off certainly won't be detrimental for Frankie. Need to have a good fitting saddle to work in!

I still can't believe the nerve of that person :/ I'm sorry.

And I think you'd be fantastic at that! I say go for it!

I also don't think anyone will be upset if you can't respond for a while :lol: need to take care of your studies!


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## PoptartShop

Glad to hear how well Saturday is doing.  Lots of progress.
Yeah since Frankie is still young, it shouldn't be an issue waiting. I hope you find the perfect fitting saddle. Fingers crossed the saddle is the one!
I totally agree with you on that, screw them! You are your own person & can darn well make your own decisions. 
That would really be cool if you became a math teacher! Breaking stuff down can really help. I always hated math, was never good at it (I was way better at English/spelling & Science); if a teacher didn't break it down I would just give up! Ugh. So frustrating, but somehow I made it through. 

& no problem if you can't post for awhile, concentrate on your classes! Nothing wrong with that.  Good luck!!!


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## Dehda01

Ebay has THREE MW trilogy veragos currently. A DARK brown 17.5" one from skylands(who does trials) that has two stamps, so they think it was refitted for a MW. https://www.ebay.com/itm/282067282990 

And a 18" faded black MW. https://www.ebay.com/itm/122299733792 

And a 18" black MW. (Though perhaps two are available from this seller) https://www.ebay.com/itm/391626286079


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- He's really smart. One of the guys was having trouble with Saturday and I truly think it's because of his attitude, so they tried putting a chain on him and Saturday was 10 times worse. I was kinda mad when I heard about this because Saturday is a horse who will fight you with everything he has if he thinks you're going to try to bully and intimidate him but if you ask and are kind of him he's good. None of the girls have a problem with him, you just have to be respectful of him and he'll be respectful of you. I wouldn't say this is true for every horse but it's true for Saturday. He's incredibly smart, I was singing his phrases in front of him and he was looking at me and made expressions like he understood which is a weird thing but I think he understood I was saying good things about him. I like him quite a lot.

Nah plus we're getting a bad ice storm, so even if I had a saddle I couldn't make it out to the barn this weekend :-/ not worth it when people are sliding at 0mph. Classes were cancelled.

I don't know what's going on with them. It was silly and it cracked me up because a few days later I had someone complimenting me on how good of a job I do and wanting me to do it. It's just ridiculous to me.

And thank you! I think so too. I really want to do something I feel good about and know that I made a difference in someone's life, even if they never tell me so. But if I can make people feel good and confident in math and figure out how they learn and what holes they missed that'd really make me happy for life!

But thank you for understanding! The only reason I had time today is because classes were cancelled due to an ice storm and Im locked in my house lol. Cant go to the barn because the ice gets so bad cars slide at 0mph and it's just not worth it! But super busy, I've read 1300 pages!
___________________

PoptartShop- Thank you! I'm really proud of him! He's really coming along in his understanding and he's really starting to trust me and feel good about himself. I'm so proud of him. And it makes me mad when people try to bully him, he's like me if you ask and show we're happy to try but if you pressure and bully and diminish or take away our choice and we just go into f-you I absolutely wont do it mode.

I have my fingers crossed, I really hope this is the right saddle for us because every saddle is so different to the next and that's part of why I wont buy one new is because they're all hand made and so there are differences between them and if I ordered one new, what would happen if I hated the seat or Frankie hated it? 

:lol: exactly be appreciative and basically respectful. Basic decency, reasonabillity and fairness. I just have no patience for it anymore. I've been in too many abusive situation with people who are just bully types that I have no patience or tolerance for it. Im also pretty terrifying in a fury :lol: it's super hard to tick me off but I have my buttons. 

Exactly! Im like that as well. I initially struggled in school with math but I have a lot of math ability, I can do quite a lot in my head. I'll pick up on math SUPER fast if it's broken down and I'm shown how it goes together. I'm autistic so I see things basically as interconnecting puzzle pieces and if a piece is missing in the puzzle, I can't even try to put the puzzle together. So I always need a good math teacher and it's easy for me but if I have a bad one or one who can't teach I will fail. I just feel so many math teachers skip the process and never bother to teach the students what things really mean and represent, in order to understand the logic and how it works. I also think a lot of math teachers can do the math but don't really understand it or why it works or the logic behind it, so they can't really teach or show it. I'm big on just walking through the problems and explaining the process and filling in any gaps of understanding because all math is really is building upon basics and processing logical concepts. I also think because they don't really understand the process themselves they cant break it down for their students and blame them, get frustrated with them and make the students feel like they're bad at something they're really not bad at. They simply weren't taught in a way they understand!

But thank you. I'm working hard! I want to be a math teacher!
___________________

Dehda- thank you for sending me some links, I have a saddle coming on trial really soon but if that saddle isnt' right I'll take a look at those. 
_______________

Not much of an update. Ice storm over the weekend so I may not be leaving my house and honestly going to do a lot of homework and reading with my cat who is glued to me. I'm on my laptop and she tried to lay on the computer which didnt work. Then she tried to lay on my stomach and has now accepted rolling up into a ball right next to me. She just can't get close enough lol. She was an orphan baby I bottle fed, so I think that's part of it but silly kitty.

Also thought a lot about the saying "those who can-do and those who can't-teach." I really think this is a false statement and very irrelevant. Being articulate and able to break down the process for others to understand is a real skill. I also find in riding if someone is bad rider who can't they dont teach well but just because someone is a great rider doesn't mean they can teach. Similarly someone who is great and can, can be a great teacher and even better because they know a lot more and understand their subject or system or horses that much better. I feel like riding is constantly building on the process and understanding of communication between horse and rider and similarly I think math and most other subjects are much the same. More often then no I think those who can't also don't teach well and those who can are either good teachers or not, depending on their skills and how they developed them. Sometimes if someone is so naturally able, they can't even begin to explain what they know to someone else. Or people who innately get math but dont really understand the concept but can work them generally dont teach well either. Breaking down the process and articulate it is a skill and one to constantly work on and develop. No one really starts good at anything, no matter their ability it requires hard work, dedication and stead fast devotion.

Im also LOVING my literature class. LOVE it!! My Professor is excellent! And we're studying Hamlet which I LOVE. Super excited to write the essay on it!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright a bit of an update. These videos are of me lunging Frankie after about a week off.

The technique of putting the lunge line through the bit and attached to the pad is a technique I use for helping with bend. It is something that has to be taught on the ground first, for example when you activate the tension that they step out with their shoulder and round through the rib cage. It's something that if it's done improperly will make a tense horse that will brace and protect itself against the contact and bend but done correctly will make them understand the concept of bend and rounding through the ribcage. The lunge line can be attached to the saddle pad, girth or at the saddle hooks depending on the horse. I just prefer saddle pad because it's fairly level with the bit and helps with bend through the whole neck and rib cage. I also signal them to leg yield out when I engage the lunge line and then release. I engage it using my fingers like when you ride but not something to brace, yank or pull on.

The use of the whip is to send her out or leg yield, not to send forward.










Saturday was REALLY good. Very forward, sensitive and cantered both ways. Much straighter. Played and bucked a little into canter but still tried. Trot feels a lot loftier and has a lot more suspension. Canter he's a lot stronger. Lifting a lot more through his shoulder and coming from behind, a lot more sit. Better laterals and using his body a lot better. I quite when he started getting tired and started trying to dip behind the contact. When he starts using himself incorrectly and feels tired I stop and call it a day. Want to form good habits. I never want him to learn to use himself correctly or wiggle out of using himself right because he's tired. It gets tiring when you start correcting him and ask him to come above every few strides. He was really good though. Very forward and sensitive. A little too sensitive, I feel like if I breathe wrong or tense up at the wrong moment he'd blow up or act up but really good.

Lunged Bailey and Image yesterday. They're doing well.


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## whisperbaby22

Boy does she look great.


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- thank you she's really coming along! Shes gotten a lot more confident and self assured. She's really coming into herself!
____________

Alright some video of Saturday from tonight. Im SO SO proud of him!! Also keep in mind the saddle I'm riding in is basically a jumping saddle. I don't love it, it does tend to put me in a chair seat. Especially since I have a lot of leg with a long femur and it's too small for me but Saturday likes it and that's more important. I would not buy this saddle for myself but it's a good one to get Saturday going in. He's made SO much progress. We still have a long way to go but just 2 weeks ago, he'd rear up when I asked to canter or asked him to go forward or I'd have to dismount to discipline him and now I can just ride. He's VERY sensitive. I don't know if you can tell but he's VERY sensitive to ride. 

Riding right I tend to ride him shoulder fore/in and left quarters fore/in because have to engage that right hind because that's his weak one and that's his crookedness on the lunge line and undersaddle. Gotta get stronger. He does tend to want to curl but he's getting better and bending a lot better. Lots more to be done but improvement!

I have more videos loading but this that has loaded so far and I NEED to go to sleep.






This one is just before the one above and the last video I'm hoping to post tomorrow. HUGE difference from start to end.






Frankie has been developing a lot of attitude lately. I don't know what's up with her but she is something else. She got smacked a few times today for trying to bite and trying to push me around. She may be going through a testy phase, so have to keep her respectful/in line. 

She's gaining a lot of confidence and she's getting REALLY big. I'm pretty sure she's going to be 17+ when she's done maturing. She's growing a lot and I think she's going to be pretty substantial. She's a big girl. I really didn't expect her to be this big. She's already the size I thought she'd mature to. She's over 16.2h. 

The saddle we tried isnt' going to work out and I do not feel safe trying ebay at this point. I won't get anything without a trial, simply because the tree integrity in this one is questionable and I'm not willing to take that risk on a saddle. So I told my saddle fitter to have the new saddle in the office sent over to try. I really dont want a new saddle but this one is already made and the size I need, plus it comes with a 5yr warranty and if it needs to be widened because we know the tree hasn't been altered we can widen it. Lots of good things with a new saddle and it's already made, so we can try it and have it sent out now. 

Usually I'm a really cheap person but I've also found where I've tried to cut corners and be frugal I end up spending more money long term. So I'd rather spend extra money upfront and get it right then try to "save" and end up spending more money because I didn't get the right solution.

Also getting more confident in myself and self assured. It's a good feeling. Not so terrified about living, I'm getting a lot braver. And comfortable that I have what it takes to face whatever comes, whether or good or bad it's going to happen and I can't anticipate or drive myself nuts thinking about it. Just live and do the best I can without anticipation.


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## frlsgirl

Ok, I'm one post behind - thanks for sharing your lunging expertise - you got mad skillz: holding the camera, the whip and the lunge line at the same time. I might try your technique with attaching the lunge line to the saddle pad and feeding it through the bit as Ana's biggest issue is bending at the rib cage. Do you hold the lunge line and whip in the same hand?

Also, lol on how Frankie was all excited and throwing in a few bucks - reminds me of Ana.


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## PoptartShop

Love the videos. Saturday looks great! You look really good on him. I agree, even if the saddle isn't perfect for you, as long as Saturday likes it that's what matters. Spoiled boy! :lol: You are definitely making progress. Definitely should be proud! He's coming along.  Keep that confidence!

Oooooh Frankie...mare probz! Sounds like she is in that testy phase for sure. Wow she is big! :O That's awesome though. She's gorgeous! I don't blame you for being weary of Ebay, I hope the new saddle works out for you. You can't beat a 5-year warranty either. I think that will work out fine.
You really are brave, & it takes a very confident rider like yourself to ride Saturday it looks like.  That's a great attitude to have. Should be very proud of yourself!!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- it's a really good thing to try. It's not harsh. But I do break it down for the horses from the ground in hand before sending them out and I do have the side reins or reins attached to the billets of the saddle to provide support. I like them better than the donut side reins because they're lighter and don't sway and move around so much. They're a lot steadier.

But on the ground when I introduce it, I engage the inside bend then I bump them off the inside shoulder with the end piece of the lunge whip and just ask they move off of it in their shoulder and rib cage. So I'll engage it then bump them off the shoulder, bump them off the rib cage and just have them move over. Then Ill gradually lengthen my line and when I engage the lunge line point my whip at their shoulder and rib cage and expect them to move off of it. It works really well. It helped Saturday a TON! And really helped Dev learn to bend right as well. It's a good tool. It takes some figuring out to do but it's a good tool to have in your tool box.

But thank you lol. When I lunge regularly I have the lungeline in one and the whip in the other. It's easier to organize that way because it is a lot to organize in the beginning. The one handed lunging is not ideal long term but wanted to show how Frankie was doing lol. 
____________________

poptartShop- Thank you. I love Saturday, I'm SUPER proud of him! He's becoming a lot more agreeable. I could ask for a canter transition for the first time last night. Before I kinda ran him into it until he broke into canter or fell into canter because I think he'd been goosed up into canter and bullied into it so he'd tense up and suck into it. He'd also try to rear up if you pressured to much into canter and really didn't want that.

But thank you. I try to not lose too much confidence with things. Just stay patient and focus on the important pieces than go onto others ones. I've always been fairly impulsive/brave but Im not always convinced that's a good thing :lol: I can be pretty blunt and go too far but I guess that's why I'm a Gryffindor :lol: I was a Marine and you have to be pretty brash and have some real testicular fortitude and balls to make it in that. I've done some crazy obstacle courses. Went across a 100ft rope, across freezing dirty water and had to pull myself across and in the switch directions and go across. Also climbed a 30ft rope up and had to climb onto some logs to jump down swing onto a rope from 30ft up and come down. Also did rapel tower which you go a 50ft up and rapel down. I hated that. The boys were crying :lol: I just jumped off and went down lol. lol I also remember helping a senior DI with her college HW for economics.

Just for example of some of the stuff we did, you also do it at night and for us it was raining and very cold and wet lol. 











I hope the saddle works out. We're putting in an order tonight for it to try. 
____________________

Last video from Saturday yesterday. It's actually the first video taken but was the last to upload


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## frlsgirl

So I have to tell you something after reading that you used to climb ropes. Growing up in Germany we were expected to be really fit and one exercise they always made us do is climb ropes. I absolutely hated ropes and would sneak to the back of the line and then keep going back hoping the instructor wouldn't notice. Eventually he caught me and made me climb up that rope; only I never got very far up before I would beg to come back down. I did much better at swimming, running and riding


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## Tihannah

What a little firecracker Frankie is! Lol. I love it! I second the thanks on explaining the lunging technique. I feel like that's something else I need a class or two on. Frankie gets better looking everyday. You know I love the bigger horses.  She is going to look so sexy when she's all done up for a show!

You can definitely see the improvement with Saturday too. You're doing such a great job with him! I wish I could be a ghost rider with you and sit in the saddle with you to feel what you feel and what you're doing. I think its a handicap for me because I learn better from seeing and doing, or being present in the moment. 

Do you guys have a timeline with Saturday as far as where you want him to be before selling? I was watching videos today from another seller that basically brokers horses out of Holland. There was a video of a 4 yr old who was already doing flying changes and I was like WOW. But I often wonder if its too much too soon for horses that young? Or does it depend on the horse and their natural ability? This horse rode like he'd had many, many hours in the saddle already. Of course, you have a better eye for this and rider manipulation, but he definitely looked well schooled for his age.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- That actually sounds like fun as a kid :lol: I know you didn't like it but at least you had plenty of activities to do besides rope climbing! I've climbed 30ft ropes. Everyone has what they like/are good at and what they're not as good at. I used to be really fast but endurance was a struggle. I'm speed and strength and had to work on the endurance lol.
_______________

Tina- Thank you and yes she is. She is not lacking in the personality or opinions on things lol. And lunging is definitely a skill to be learned. Lunge lessons are good. I've had quite a few and constantly improve technique and figuring things out. They don't have a lot of lunge lessons that are useful online but it's a pretty phenomenal skill to have. As well as to do in hand work well. In hand work is so incredibly helpful, I'm a big fan for breaking down concepts. Especially laterals and contact. But thank you and yes she's going to be a beast. She's already tall but she's a spoiled thing!

Thank you. I often wish something similar. I wish I could touch people and explain what I want to explain because of my aspergers. I see things in terms of pictures, senses, and how they interconnect, so learning to communicate and articulate my thoughts/words was a serious struggle I worked really hard at. Words can give an idea of what a feeling is but it really can't encompass it. But I learn through feel, experience, and trial and error. Being shown or feeling it is really the best way to go. I don't think it's a handicap. I think you can give people exercises or ideas to play with or try online to put them in a position to feel things but it's not the same as being on the ground showing or being able to sit in the saddle and demonstrate. 

But thank you. Im SUPER proud of Saturday. I can actually put a canter aid on without him tensing all the way through his body. He's letting me ride him more. I can put my leg on and he'll go forward without slamming on the brakes and going up. He's coming along. He can actually bend now and isn't getting as behind as he was. Sitting, engaging his hind end better. Getting stronger, more lift in the shoulders and engagement behind.

There isn't a time line atm. I haven't been told of a time line but I will say I am not a fan of the dutch dressage system. It's very mechanical and I liken it more to trick training and installing movement and systematically manipulating movement without the solid foundation and training of the british system or the a good german system. I've seen 4yr olds do changes, half pass, etc but most the ones Ive seen who do are pretty incorrectly trained and held together and get burnt out from all the pressure and pushing. Im a big believer in cross training and getting out and hacking young horses and not over drilling them. I think it ruins good horses. It mentally exhausts a lot of them and they shut down and develop a lot of resistance and avoidance strategies or working against the rider rather than for.

To me it doesn't impress me to see a 3 or 4yr old doing difficult manuvers, to me it's a sign that the people are just trying to install buttons and get the horse sold but leave a ton of holes and sometimes psychological damage and they have to be totally re-trained or are beyond repair. I know a few horses who were ruined that way, being pushed too fast, too soon. They tolerated it for a bit then they cracked. I'm just not a fan of pushing horses that are so young because it's mentally so taxing for them. Like with Frankie I am purposefully not wanting to push or over ride her because my goal is to have a 10yr old horse whose happy to work and pleasant to ride. But I follow more of the British system from my trainers and I focus on the details and look at it as the system of training develops good horses and good training/riding not just make them do it, it's filling in all the details and subtle points so when you build and develop off of that, the horse is actually ready for it and it's easy for them. It's really pretty easy to install movements, however it makes filling in all that space inbetween more difficult. If that makes any sense at all? Like each level isnt' so much about the movements as it is in the details inbetween the levels and the expectation of communication. The movements are not the focus, it's the development of the horses education and understanding.
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UPDATE

Rode Frankie tonight. She was PHENOMENAL, all the in hand and lunging work has really paid off. I really had to ride her and canter right was hard to ride but she was really good. I can actually turn her shoulders and bend her now which I hadn't been able to do before. She's a lot more ridable and more broke! I was super impressed since she'd had 10 days off, she did buck and kick out a few times but she was so good!

I'm hoping the new saddle will be able to be sent out this week. Id really like to have a saddle of my own to ride her in. Im borrowing one which is okay but isnt' an ideal fit. It's too wide for her and has a short flap.

Frankie's bridle and new fancy stuff finally came in! I'm super excited the browband is a little much for me, so I'm putting the regular rolled leather one back on but it looks great on her! I love it! Also a show coat for me and Im ordering the new saddle. I thought about it, they have a short flap but I'm fairly tall and have long legs so it's just not a good idea. I'm 5'7 but my legs are 39-40inches from heel to top of hip and Frankie is such a big mare it'd just look ridiculous. The saddle she has on in the pics is a short flap and it looks silly to me. She's over 16.2h and has a lot of belly lol. She's not at all chubby she just has a wide sprung rib cage and short back. I'm also really hard to fit for clothes, especially jackets because Im pretty thin but am pretty top heavy. 32G or 32FF cup size and a 24-25in waist. When I'm on the heavy side it's a 26 but it makes clothes shopping super frustrating :-/ finding breeches that fit me right is also really hard because I have a narrowish straight hip but a butt and big-muscular thighs. I'm built physically pretty powerful, I can still do pull ups and things and I used to be able to throw the 180lb guy over my shoulder like they were rag dolls but now I'm too broken and weak lol. Used to run 25-30mi a week, I miss it. I used to love running and I loved mud runs and physical exertion. I liked pushing myself to brink and somehow finding a way to push through when my muscles are entirely fatigued. I used to get frustrated running because I wouldn't get winded by legs would be totally shot and fatigued so I couldnt stride out and keep the pace I wanted. I had a big running stride before my first hip flexor injury, I'm at 3 so Im retired :lol: arthritis, collapsed arches, degenerative disk and tendeosis


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## frlsgirl

The new gear looks nice. Frankie seems to agree. I also like the maroon on her; I wasn't sure if maroon works on a bay but it actually does; I might have to try that on Ana.


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## PoptartShop

I really admire you for being a Marine! I know a few of them, and they're very good people.  I definitely wouldn't be able to do half the stuff you did, climbing & everything! I have like barely any upper-body strength. :lol:

Awwww I love the pictures!! So cute, Frankie in her blinged-out gear! Love it!
She's gorgeous and so are you!
Oh gosh, I hear you about the clothes-fitting. I have thick thighs & a booty, plus hips, so it definitely makes pant-shopping super hard. Like, the breeches I have fit my butt/waist perfectly, but the front of them are kinda baggy. It's such a struggle haha. Can't win ever.

So glad you had a great ride too! So happy for you guys. Progress! :smile:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Maroon or burgundy looks really good on darker-dark baby, red baby it clashes too much but it looks great on dark babys!

But thank you. I think she feels pretty special too!
_____________

PoptartShop- Thank you :lol: I was pretty determined to become one, it was my dream to be a Marine. I didnt serve my full term which made me sad but I had so many injuries that were crippling and weren't going to allow me to lead a Marine life style or go on deployment. That always bummed me out but perhaps it's for the best. I was a little older when I joined too, so my nickname used to be Grandma :lol: I'm pretty baby faced. But it's an experience well worth having, I trained up for it and I bet you'd be stronger than you think when you have to do it. It definitely pushes you and expands your horizons. It's mentally, physically and spiritually exhausting but it's a great experience.

But thank you. Frankie seems to like her presents but thank you :lol: but in general it just sucks to be a girl, nothing ever fits you quite right and when you find something that works they stop making it. It's just difficult. Cavallo are the only breech that really fits me, in Germany I tried on 20 something breeches and only 1 pair fit right lol. My trainer fits in pikeurs which there are none that fit me. I've found with breeches the trick is being able to try them on and knowing what model/size works and brand because they have different cuts. It's SO frustrating to work out though and I hate it because the cheaper breeches never fit right and they're not exactly cheap!

But Thank you I'm excited 
_____________

Not much of an update yet but will be riding Friday for the first time since Oct/Nov, so I'm pretty excited about that. The new saddle will not be coming as my friend is going home to Taiwan, so the company won't be shipping it out until she comes back to fit it to Frankie. So that sucks but maybe it's a good thing?

Been doing well so far in my classes. I definitely have to take my meds or I'm a little out there. In lessons if I'm not riding well, I get asked if I took my meds today. The secret is taking my ADHD meds everyday because if I don't I have NO attention span and my autistic tendencies run rampant. I was told taking zoloft would make my ADHD worse but gah. Best quote to explain my brain is "I do not have ducks and they are no in a row, I have squirrels and they're at a race." It's so true. I also tend to see things as interconnecting puzzle pieces and I can visualize and remember the experience or feeling of things, so for communication I'm basically always translating from that sensory experience to words. So that's an interesting process. But got to talk abut neuroscience and autism today, so that made me pretty happy.

Some Marine pics. Essentially no one looks good in the camis haha I wish I had more but Im pretty limited because I HATE pictures being taken of me lol. I was a terminal lance unfortunately, really hard to pick up rank when you're on limited duty but oh well. I had the job of a Cpl and I was respected. Still liked it went I got to chew out people way over my rank because of my billet :lol: quite a few of the guys were scared of me. They were like whatever you do don't tick her off. She's the last person you want to tick off :lol: fear is quite necessary for respect sometimes. I was described as intimidating and when I got out and I'd speak people would back up away from me because I have that authoritative, intense presence and that commanding voice of authority when I need it. It took a while to "detox" and "calm down." I was pretty high strung for a while. Too intense, very Marine :lol:


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## frlsgirl

Very cool; thanks for sharing these great pics!


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## PoptartShop

I know, they need to seriously make better pant sizes for us women of all shapes & sizes. Like come on! Guys have it so easy lol. :lol:

Awww I love the pictures!  Thanks for sharing!! Love the uniform!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- thank you. It was a very influential and important part of my life. It was my "big" dream lol.
_________________

PoptartShop- They really do need to set up some kind of standardized system or something because it's ridiculous! In some dresses I'll wear a 2 and some it'll be a 4 or 6. Or pants a 4 or 6, shirts are SO ridiculous because of the vanity sizing I wear a small or extra small and I am NOT that small, so I have no idea what happens for people who are really petite and tiny. Guys do have it a lot easier lol, unfortunately for us girls we have all kinds of varying curves and come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. A lot more diversity, thank you estrogen :lol:

And thank you  it was a really important part of my life, I will never forget and am so grateful to have done. It was my big dream, I had a big dream of being an Officer but after getting as hurt as I was I knew it wasn't going to happen. I'll never be fast enough or be able to endure the hikes or packs. One time I went for a run and about 1.5 miles in I literally couldn't pick up my left leg and had to drag myself home. Leaning and pull up on the fence. I also was super cocky after rehab and had to fireman carry a guy and I was like oh you're only 140lbs piece of cake as I used to throw the 180lb guys over my shoulders like they were rag dolls and my hip buckled and I fell to the ground :lol: Ive been through rehab on it 3 times and as long as I don't do endurance runs of go crazy on hikes it's pretty manageable. I did an 8mi hike and I was in SO much pain. I couldn't stop because well kinda hard to just stop on a mountain :lol: I'm a stupid, stubborn fool sometimes....my excuse is usually just sheer determination and a need to prove myself :lol: but I also refused to go to the ER on my 3rd injury until I was white and sheet and shaking from being in so much pain. It was bad. Couldn't sleep without pain medication for a while and almost fell down the stairs because either my knee or hip gave out and I grabbed hold of the railing. The mental, spiritual and physical limits get stretched pretty far. I don't even know how to talk about that. It's hard to explain what it's like when it's 24/7 with no outlet and minimal sleep.
_________________

Update

I rode Francesca tonight in a lesson. It was not our best ride. She was being difficult :lol: she tried to kick Mari twice and had a come to Jesus moment about not kicking people. She also had a bit of sass and was fairly blatant like you can't make me with my aids. The saddle was throwing me so far right. I kept leaning left. The saddle is too wide for Frankie, so we're going to play with shims to help get it more balanced because I think that was part of why Frankie was so difficult. It might not look as bad as it felt but she definitely made me work my butt off tonight.











Also been thinking and I do get really irritated when people call me an intellectual. I do not like or get along with "intellectuals" because a lot of the time they're @ss holes blowing smoke up each others *** and seeking to be pretentious jerks who are so insecure they need to belittle and put down everyone around them and diminish anyone who thinks outside the box or God forbid has an actual original thought. No I'm logical and analytical and have my own thoughts and ideas, rather than rattling off of what someone else has said or jumping on the bandwagon. I don't think the way I do or pursue the interests I do because I want to be better than anyone, it just genuinely interests me and fascinates me to the level it consumes me. I'm OBSESSIVE like a dog with a bone when it comes to learning. I have a child like curiosity and fascination of the world and a HUGE variety of subjects. I've studied world cultures from prehistoric to modern, tribal cultures, philosophy, economics, law, art history, tons of history primarily greeks-reniassance but also India, Russia, various African countries, Australia, and China I've studied more, the development of civilization, changes of thought, religions, neuroscience, psychology, sociology, body language and communications, Ive read a TON of literature, physics, biology, chemistry, health science, massage, etc. I have aspergers and the obsessiveness basically makes me a jack of all trades, master on none :lol: being back in school those qualities are really coming back in full force. Plus being on the medication helps a TON. Ritalin has literally changed my life, I can FOCUS for longer than 10 seconds and I don't feel like a squirrel at a rave anymore, it's like a squirrel who has enough memory to just FOCUS. And the zoloft has really changed my life in a good way. I'm not bogged down by depression to where it takes everything I have to get out of bed or praying at night not to wake up in the morning. I had it pretty bad but I was so used to it, I didn't think it was as bad as it was and the anxiety was bad. Won't elaborate on that but it was crippling in ways I didn't even realize. I'm really just grateful because I'm gaining confidence in myself and can be the person I was meant to be and not feeling like a total failure who can't function inside my own head. Im just interested in life again. I'm passionately inquisitive and just interested in things again and not so shut down and terrified of being happy or of life events going alright. I'm not so scared because I know whatever happens will happen, regardless of my thoughts or anxiety and whatever it is I can handle it and even if I can't I have no choice but to cope and overcome.


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## Dehda01

Being called an intellectual isn't an insult, even though you seem to have created a connotation towards it. I am an intellectual and embrace learning because I love it. Many people in this country are currently scared or turned off by learning.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I associate the term with a lot of people who are heavily condescending towards others and hold a self held belief of somehow being more important or better than others. The literal term does not mean that however from my experience that's what I've seen from people who give themselves the label. When I was young because I was odd and had a really hard time communicating and articulating my words. I've literally spent hours and hours practicing speaking in front of a mirror and studying body language and communication to be where I am. But when I was younger I had a "friend" say oh don't stress yourself, don't use language that is over your intelligence level or you're trying to use words that arent within your scope of intellect. I didn't know I was autistic then. I'd basically be told how stupid and unintelligent I was and Id get so frustrated because I could see the pictures and concepts and work the logic in my head but I couldn't communicate it because my process for translating my thoughts essentially interconnecting puzzle pieces took so long. I was once asked if I was good at anything, besides being a friend. It did however make me laugh later on because I was not in the gifted program and that person was and was hugely condescending towards me which at the time I had no understanding or perception of, I didnt understand but it made me laugh because that person put so much emphasis on IQ and felt such a need to call me stupid, yet my IQ was 15pts higher. Similarly a person once messaged me on my grammar in a very nasty message and looked nothing at the content and only at how I wrote and I basically told them where to put it and how far to shove it. These experiences were years ago but still almost all of the most intelligent and educated people I have ever met don't call themselves intellectuals and don't pump themselves up. They're just happy to discuss ideas or thoughts or just enjoy learning and are very open and interested in things. Similarly most scientists or mathematicians I've known dont label themselves intellectual, simply curious.

I don't know that people are scared or turned off by learning but I do see a lot of people unwilling to look at the base source or where ideas or concepts come from and blindly accept and follow without asking does this make sense? I just see a lot of blind acceptance to whatever ideology they choose to accept and never look at the "fine print."

For example I'll question commonly accepted or trendy notions, not from an unwillingness to believe but that I want to look at the evidence and look at the "raw" material, rather than following blindly. I think it's necessary to remain objective, even about something you believe. And in debate really listen to what someone else is saying and try to analyze where it's coming from and follow their logic if possible. I don't see that kind of objectivity in a lot of people I've known who consider themselves intellectuals. What I see in many I know who give themselves the label is the condescension and lack of respect or willingness to assess any information that doesn't support their preconceived notions. I've asked questions and people would laugh because they "seemed" so basic and yet I found the reason they insulted me for asking the question was because they didn't really understand it themselves. They never asked what does it represent? And didn't truly understand the material and were consumed with their self held belief that they were superior and somehow greater for not having to ask the question. For example a person who I'd put in this category because I disagreed with him said instead of having any kind of logical argument said, oh when you're older and as learned as I am you'll see reason. He was a very arrogant, insecure man who is so condescending and then was furious because I turned him down and told him I would never date him. He never understood it was because of how he viewed others and how condescending he was. He was very derogatory towards me and essentially everyone. I cant stand people who have a self held belief of being more important and better than other people. I detest and resent it. 

I love learning as well, I love the sense of discovery and the journey towards improvement. I like discussion and I want to understand. I think I'm also hypersensitive to a lot of language and how it's communicated because I was bullied pretty badly and was in abusive relationships with people who used condescension and derogatory language as a way to elevate themselves and put me down which I didn't understand for a long time because I was so literal/logical and just didn't understand.


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## Dehda01

Anti-intellectualism is a real thing that I see on a daily basis. It deeply saddens me. Much of America's society is now looking for their "news", if we can even call it that to be entertaining, (often as a meme, click bait or song) short and keep their short attention span occupied. People are often unwilling to do any legwork to look deeper into the subject matter, do ANY simple fact/reference checking for themselves or what caused the subject matter. And because of this history is repeating itself. IMHO. 

I feel a label is what you decide it is. I decide to take the word at the basic dictionary meaning. But I am related to Webster Take it for what you will. 

The Dumbing Of America


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## knightrider

Great [email protected] I have long admired Susan Jacoby. I used to babysit another Susan Jacoby, who lived across the street from me. I believe they are cousins.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I absolutely agree there is something to anti-intellectualism and I can definitely see it in social media on whatever and every side that there is a decline in mindful thought and a lot of acceptance of titles because they support someone's individual beliefs without reading the actual article or looking at the raw data or source or what the truth. It's blind acceptance to suit whatever cause they fancy. 

It is definitely a truth to a decline in mindful thinking, problem solving and analysis. As though many people are too lazy or don't care enough to actually look at the sources and have a reasonably objective over view of what they're reading. A lot of the times when I read, I'll ask does this make any sense? Does this add up? Where is this information coming from and why is this news worthy?

I'll agree as well with what I've observed is there is a great dumbing down in the education system. From what I've seen kids are force fed information but never learn how to access it or ask does this make sense? It's blind acceptance and to me is not a good thing. Repeat and regurgiating information is not learning, it's obedience. I think learning the process of thinking and developing arguments and beliefs is very important and looking at ALL the facts, not just the ones that suit your cause is very important. It's very necessary to try to be as objective as possible when making assessments, take the "me" and "I" out as much as possible. We all have a certain amount of biases, that can't be helped but I feel like the process of learning and developing independent thought and an analytical mind is very neglected. Perhapsnpeople are lazy and just dont want to put in the footwork or make the effort because it requires a good amount of effort to develop thoughts and string together bits of information from a variety of sources and it isn't easy but it is more complete. I also feel like people don't want to feel like they're uncomfortable or get frustrated or struggle which honestly you have to when learning and figuring out new material. In computer science I've almost thrown my computer across the room quite a few times trying to figure out why my program wouldn't run or wouldn't work as I wanted :lol: it's TOUGH and the solutions and problems are seldom straight forward.

I think a part of this is how much people just don't seem to discuss things anymore, they don't debate. I call most of the disasters today as irrational arguments, not debate because there is no discussion and often times idea are not well thought out and it just goes to name calling. I was watching some economic debates from the 1980's which were "intellectual" discussions and was very interesting because each side was respectful, well mannered and actually presented ideas without the "he said, she said" non sense. It was an actual discussion and we don't see much of that anymore. Civil disagreements aren't common, people seem to hate anyone who doesn't blindly accept their beliefs and seem unwilling to stand by their ideas or beliefs or go into the details of why they believe what they do. It's very sad because we need discussion, we need to be free to disagree and open up discussion without shutting people down for having different ideas or being intolerant of mindfulness. I think there is a great deal of knowledge that can come from disagreements, whether it is you learn something new or receive information that reaffirms your personal opinions/beliefs. I know myself I almost never debate anymore because it's so unreasonable/insensible and falls on deaf ears. It's no longer a discussion but a "do you agree with me or not" stance and my purpose in debate isn't really to "win" but to hear both sides of the argument but to expand my knowledge and reasoning and hear different view points and perspectives. I wouldn't say I'm super flexible or rigid but I'm open to be shown I'm wrong and today you rarely have decent discussions.


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## Dehda01

Class, respect and the sense of diplomacy has been totally lost. Empathy and compassion for others opinions and standings in life. 

I personally feel all creatures need to be treated with dignity and respect. I often disagree with a person during a debate, but underhanded nastiness is never called for. This is lost by many these days.

Now many feel that we must win at whatever cost. And I think that back 15 years ago we still had more people (politicians*cough**... but even generally in society) that understood that we need to be working together in a cohesive way together scratching each other's backs. Often with some bribing, smooth talking but diplomatically. 

Now everything is done in reality tv show standards... fast, ugly and with drama.


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## DanteDressageNerd

It really has and it's a shame. I like your comparison of everything being done in reality TV show standards of fast, ugly and with drama. It's a very short sighted perspective. It's a pretty accurate depiction.

It also saddens me a LOT to see how little respect people seem to have for themselves and others. Common decency and manners are very rare. Class even more uncommon or even being reasonable. It's sad. 

I agree with that whole heartedly. Basic decency, basic respect and to carry yourself with dignity. I think it's becoming quite rare. I had a Gunnery Sgt who was SUPER strict. He was a very intense, prior DI who seemed to dislike everyone. He was honestly pretty hard on me and liked to pressure me and tried to see if I'd crack or break bearing, he'd interrogate with a lot of questions and had NO tolerance for non sense or BS, and he'd ask questions over and over again and say no tell the truth- the very base truth. He had a distinct presence, intensity and I cant explain the intensity and mindfulness but he said to me before I left said that I carried myself with an air of dignity and respect that he admired. He said too few Marines now a days can handle the pressure and can't adhere to standards but I've never seen you falter. I told one of my Sgts what he said and he was shocked. I've spoken to that same Gunnery Sgt on several occasions, he's a very great man that I strongly admire because he's a hard working, determined man with good character. I honestly think that's the part I miss the most about the Marine Corps is the unity, the quality of discussions and people. Most of the men and women I served with were admirable in some way. I remember a Sgt who his presence was incredible. He had grown up in the ghetto but he was very disciplined and honorable. He had a quiet confidence but was intensely passionate. He spoke softly but he had a lot of force behind his words. Carried himself with pride and dignity and treated everyone well. Honestly an impressive leader. My Sgt who was a woman and grew up in the ghetto of Detroit was also very impressive. Incredible work ethic, drive but also very fair and kind. She was very soft spoken and reasonable but I had a lot of respect for her because behind her softness and kindness was a woman with a lot of fortitude and back bone. If she smelled any kind of BS or dishonesty I'd see her rip into people but if people were well mannered, respectful and decent very kind. She treated people based on their character. Super polite and well thought out. I was always impressed by that. A lot of very smart people with good character.

And certainly a lot of the nastiness is appalling. It sickens me to see all the protesting, all the hate, all the division, it's not okay. I don't care what side of the fence a person stands, basics decency is a requirement IMO. And it shocks me. Maybe I was sheltered but in the Marines we literally had people of every race, belief, and from all over the world and I NEVER saw the kind of division I'm seeing now. We all made fun of each other equally and it was just how it was. The people we liked we'd tease and mock.
_________________

I didn't go to the barn today, had a pretty busy day and honestly felt icky but I spent time with my four footed pals. I added some pictures because I thought they were fun and I love my babies. Mister Reagan is the shiba inu, I think Daisy (labxhusky) should have a picture, the tabby is Lyla and the grey cat with the stash is Athena. They're my babies.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Small update.

I rode Saturday today and did not ride Frankie. 

I lunged Frankie and she was a good girl but unfortunately she's going through her teenage phase and is testing the waters quite a bit, so I had to get after her. I've been told she's been naughty lately which isn't typical of her and I don't know why she's being naughty but my guess is it's that wonderful phase young horses usually go through where they have to test their limits and need a fairly firm hand.

Saturday was really good. I asked a lot more from him and actually asked him to do a back to back canter transition which I'm super proud of him for. He's becoming a LOT more ridable and today we worked quite a bit on getting him to sit and come up in his shoulders more, so half halts and introducing the concept and actually having a contact and training correct responses. He's definitely improving and becoming more ridable. 

I'm thinking about going home to Oregon this summer, I haven't been back in two years and it's my home so I should probably go back and visit. 

University is going well thus far. I really like my Professors, they're good teachers and really care about their students. I finished Hamlet today with all my notes, so I'm drawing up an essay. Computer Science quiz *yay* biology is pretty fun, lab is alright. And math is going well so far, so I'm pretty happy.

Also started reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows. I haven't read it in a while and thought I should re-read it. After that I'm not sure what I'll read next but I have SO SO many books on my list. My friends have tried to get me to read other stuff and I'm like NOPE not taking any more suggestions until I'm finished with my list lol.

Also some pictures of Frankie from today. She's grown again. Her withers are almost level with my head and Im 5'7 I wish I was 5'8 but didn't quite make it :lol:


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## frlsgirl

Hmmm, I always thought that only geldings go through a naughty phase; whereas mares go through more of a "I don't want to and you can't make me" phase which pretty much lasts for the rest of their life, lol. Ana gets difficult to manage when she doesn't get her normal turnout. Other than that she's pretty sweet although more likely to be more forward in the winter, and more sucked back in the summer. There are many Dressage riders who will not ride mares/show mares; I prefer mares to have a personal horse but sometimes I prefer to ride a more agreeable gelding. I cannot deal with naughty geldings. When geldings get naughty, they can get downright dangerous, whereas mares generally have more sense then that. I've lost my confidence on geldings but generally not with mares. I've had geldings literately try to murder me whereas mares on their worst day are just difficult and overly reactive. But then again, a gelding on an average day is probably easier than a mare on an average day, so I guess it's just a matter of picking your battle. I just don't trust geldings the way I trust mares.

Glad school is going well for you and that you have enough focus left to devote some free time to reading. A trip to Oregon sounds like fun; we went in 2014 and had a great time reconnecting with old friends, and visiting the Oregon beaches and the Morgan Horse farm where Ana was bred/foaled.


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## PoptartShop

Oooh Frankie better shape up & stop being naughty! Awww! 
The teens definitely do like to test. But look at that sweet face, who can resist. She's so cute. She does look tall too! Big sweet girl! I'd be soooo short next to her, I'm only 5'2".
Really glad you had a good ride on Saturday.  Seems like he's really improving.

That's a plus that you like your classes so far & profs. It's rare to find teachers that actually care. I love that! It's so much better when they don't just stand up there & teach, they actually give a crap lol.
Oregon would be a good time. You should. It would be nice to get away for a bit, too.  & Harry Potter...always a good read!!!


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## knightrider

@DanteDressageNerd, love your pictures! Those pet pictures are beyond adorable. Also, I couldn't agree more with your discussion about current incivilities. Where I live, in N. Central Fl., if you don't agree politically, you are considered stupid. It's almost a religion, to disagree is blasphemy. Very discouraging. I keep hoping that it's a cycle, and someday people will grow tired of applauding political incorrectness and it will cycle back to civility.


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## Tihannah

I heard Carl Hester mention once in a riding demonstration that 3 and 4 yr olds are always sweet and adorable, but when they get to 5 and 6 yr old, they can turn into a handful and start testing you. Maybe Frankie is just entering this stage?

She's so shiny and purdy! Lol. I just love her!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I think both the boys and girls go through their phases. I think the girls can definitely be testy, it just depends. But I agree. That's partially why I prefer mares to geldings and also their work ethic. They may a bit more attitude and be more opinionated BUT they're generally more sensitive, responsive and will give you 110% they're usually a lot more aware, more intelligent and mindful. A lot of people can't ride mares because a mare needs someone who is tactful and willing to listen to them. You cannot boss a mare around, they will put you in your place. I dont necessarily think of mares and geldings as harder or easier but different and take different personalities but I'll say there are a lot more people who cant and never will get along with a mare.

The other things with mares is they have long memories, so mares who have been mistreated or psychologically abused are a LOT harder, if not impossible to rehab. 
________________

PoptartShop- lol I think she will. I think she's just testing the waters atm. She tried to kick my trainer twice for asking her to move side ways and she was like no I don't want to and kicked out twice. I got after her but after the 2nd time. I got off and Mari put her in line because Mari is on the ground and if she needs to respect Mari and a ground person! 

But she is :lol: she's terribly cute and very smart. And thank you. Saturday is definitely coming along. He's changed SO much mentally, I'm really proud of him!

And yes Frankie is pretty big :lol: I think she's nearing 16.3h I have NO idea what size she'll be, so I'm not even going to try guessing. Her dam was 16.2h but her dam's sire was 17.3h and Frankie's sire is 17h so I'm pretty sure she'll be tall. My trainer thinks I'll have a 17+h monster and I was like...great :-/ I wont love her less for being so big but it was not what I was expecting. Especially because she still has a few more years to grow. As long as we're under 17.2h I'll be ok. I just didn't really want a giant. 

Though there is an advantage to being short, you can ride those freaking awesome german riding ponies and not look like a giant! Plus a lot of the times the smaller horses are a little cheaper because they're not as in demand.

And at my University for the most part I really like my Professors. Classes are pretty reasonably sized and I also check up on the Professor ratings before signing up for a class because I do not get along with Professors who desire blind obedience and/or cannot teach their subject. I have NO patience and tend to go Marine mode which has gotten me into trouble before :lol: not that I'm proud of it but I have no patience/tolerance for incompetence...but at that time I was still detoxing off of being a Marine too :lol: where you could tell it like it is and call people out on their [email protected] If you deal it out you have to be able to take it but I am kinda belligerent.
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knightrider- it's really ridiculous. I can't stand it. I'm SO tired of it all, especially the political correctness. I'm for being polite but it's ridiculous. I'm really hoping we break out of whatever age this is. We need the freedom to disagree and to have a voice. We need to have DISCUSSIONS, not do you agree with me or and if you don't agree and full fledged mindless attack. It's disturbing.
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Tina-I think so. I don't know that they're always worse at 4 or 6 but I think Carl Hester said sometimes the naughty horses at 3 and 4 are great at 5 and 6 and sometimes the horses that are great at 3 and 4 are great at 5 and 6. Just depends on the horse and how they mature. Granted we've all gone through our phases too :lol:

But thank you. I love her too, even if she is very demanding and needy for attention :lol:
__________

Frankie vids that finally loaded.There is some good information in these. It was a good lesson. Lesson tonight. I don't know if I'll ride Saturday or not. Maybe I'll ride him tomorrow?










Frankie lunging


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## frlsgirl

Frankie is such a mare "don't tell me what to do!" lol when you were asking her to canter and she didn't want to but then she felt pressured to do it anyway but she had to let you know that she was not happy about it. Ana does the same thing except she will suggest things like trotting and when I tell her no she gets mad; and then when I ask her to trot a few steps later, she gets mad because she wanted it to be her idea, not mine, lol.

I covet Frankie's canter; she's really able to lower her back-end and step way under!


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## PoptartShop

You look really good!  LOL I love her buck, she's like 'I GOT ATTITUDE!' :lol: Hahaha gotta love the mares!
She's so shiny and pretty. And yes, you will definitely have a giant on your hands! Hey, more to love! Did you end up riding Saturday last night in your lesson?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Yes she is :lol: Frankie is all girl. She's polite but opinionated. Mares just need more tact, I think. They care about how you're asking for something as much as they care about what you're asking and sometimes they fully know your request and it's fully reasonable and they don't want to and it's like sorry honey this isn't negotiable. You are not in charge here :lol: gotta love mares!

Yes she does! She gets that from her mother. Her mother was a freaking powerhouse. Her mom was half tb but she was a tank. 16.2h but 1400lbs she just had big bones and was just solid. And it's funny because her sire was really refined 17.3h and built more like Dev where if someone said TB you'd almost believe them. Gracie really used and drove her hind end, she was like riding a frake train, super powerful. Her dam's canter was back breaking lol like forget to engage your core into the walk-canter transition and you'll get whiplash.
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PoptartShop- Lol exactly gotta love mares. I prefer mares because they're sensitive and smart, sometimes they may not agree with your idea but they need a conversation lol. 

After my lesson it ended up being too late to ride Saturday because I'm trying not to go to sleep at midnight :lol:
_________________

Alright update

I fell off of Friday last night. I lunged him first, no he wasn't wild. Then I got on and he was a bit fresh but not bad, just had to remind him what a half halt is and not to throw himself on his forehand and take off. So he was going really well. I felt safe on him and all of a sudden he gives a big buck, takes off, jumps side ways, leaps in the air with a twisting buck and I hit the ground. The dumb @ss then proceeds to gallop up behind a horse and get kicked in the leg and he was standing there looking pathetic, feeling sorry for himself and I was like Friday I don't feel sorry for you, that's called karma!! He's not hurt, just some cuts on his leg and possibly some swelling now but not last night. I did not get back on him because he was a little off and cold hosed his leg.

It was just funny because Mari said she was thinking oh he looks really good and then that happened :lol: totally out of the blue lol but what can you do? 

I did not ride Saturday :lol: one no one was there and I WILL NOT ride a horse without someone being on the property. It's not worth it and two I had a feeling there's something funny going on because Mari got thrown from Dev on Sunday and Mirra whose an older, really well behaved mare reared up vertical on Mari which TOTALLY shocked me because Mari did nothing harsh or unfair and they were walking. All Mari asked was that Mirra take a bigger step in the half pass at walk. Frankie saw it happen and started running backwards away from it. Mirra is her pasture mate but she was stunned. Smart mare, she got out of the way but no meltdown. 

But I did lunge Saturday and did quite a bit of in hand work to develop better contact reactions and improve bend. I don't know what it is about arabs, specifically and arab crosses but they are by far the most innovative horses who learn the most incredible tricks to not carry themselves correctly. He's not nearly as bad as Dante about things, Dante had a swan neck which is a tricky conformation defect to work around (they're build to carry high and hollow, very hard to teach to come up in the back and not behind the vertical, they're designed to avoid contact) but Saturday isn't even close to as bad but we worked through quite a lot in hand and lunging is frustrating with him because undersaddle I can get him to use himself better/more correctly because I can direct his shoulders and have him come up in his shoulders and sit more or ask for a lateral step and allow him to come up or better direct the shoulders so he bends right. So lunging him tests my skill :lol: I do use side reins and not tight just to give him a direction but interesting. Also asked for some passagey trot in hand which he does but only a few steps. I asked him because I wanted him to lower his croup and lift his shoulder so he would straighten his neck. I think the trick is when he's able to really sit behind and lift in front which we're working on but that takes time to really develop. He's also now allowing me to tap him behind which is helping SO much. I can really get the trust from the inside hind into my outside rein and get his back to really come up. Not the whole time but in moments.

My thoughts

A big pet peeve of mine is when people blindly accept tradition as fact for traditions sake. Tradition for traditions sake is not a virtue. It is not inherently moral, correct or right. It drives me nuts when people don't question what they've been told generation to generation but blindly accept a notion that may be untrue. For example for a long time people believe the earth was the center of our solar system and people did not question it because they were told that's the truth but most NEVER ask but HOW do we know that? And does that make any sense? I just feel it's necessary to question things.

And I do get frustrated when people preach what they've been indoctrinated to think and I just don't think aesthetic value or an emotional or feeling response is a real answer.


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## frlsgirl

Glad you're ok; and don't feel bad for Friday at all; like you said, that's Karma; typical gelding feeling all sorry for himself and not even worried about you.

Agree with you on preachy people and mindless following a belief system; I believe that's why God gave us a brain, to think and question and derive our own educated conclusions.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- thank you. I'm glad to be okay too. I re-injured a finger that broke a few years ago but nothing serious. I think I had internal bleeding on one of my falls from Dante (he reared and bucked until I hit the ground bareback), he was such an @ss whenever he'd really hurt me he literally didn't care at all. I remember I petted Dante and wished him a Merry Christmas and he spun around and kicked me on my hip. I had a massive bruise from that, was lucky it wasn't worse but Dante wasn't hot or anxious I just gave him a pet. And yeah Friday was being a dumb @ss. Though I'll say my tb gelding anytime I fell off of him would come back to me to make sure I was okay. He'd get really worried about me. 

And exactly. God gave up a brain to think for ourselves and ask does this make sense? Does this add up? 
___________________

Update

Rode Frankie last night. She was really good :lol: well she took almost everything I had to ride her last night. Literally everything my whole body was shaking when I got off because I pushed myself pretty hard. I had a hard time catching my breath and was like oh man :lol: it took everything. She's a good girl but I would never describe her as easy to ride. She just has SO much power and movement it takes a lot more to organize and especially with her being 3 and having so much movement and power and not being as strong, balanced or organized as she will eventually mature to be. Babies are fun but it takes alot. She honestly reminded me a lot of her mother to ride tonight. Gracie had a good temperament but good Lord was she a POWERHOUSE, Frankie's mom was 16.2h but 1400lbs, just a tank. It takes a lot to organize. It felt really sloppy, I was glad it didn't look as sloppy as it felt. I really felt like I was going everywhere at once and struggling to keep at center :lol: and it wasn't that I was going everywhere but her balance was sending me everywhere, so a lot of focus on straight.

Just a heads up I do swear in this one because I thought it was hilarious that where Frankie bucked and had her moment was exactly the same spot where Friday had his last night and where Dev had his when Mari was riding. There is something not right about that corner and I have NO idea what it is. I'm like WTF is up with this? Why do they have a problem with that corner?






Going right I literally felt like I was being sent left then right. I literally felt like a sack of potatoes trying to keep myself center while being thrown left and right.





It also kinda cracks me up because when she says soft hands, it's because I over flexed my middle and ring fingers which when I ride, I mostly carry the connection between my index finger and thumb with my other fingers closed but very open. It just cracked me up because of the degree of sensitivity





Last picture is of Frankie's mom with Dev


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## frlsgirl

I know exactly what you mean about using all your might trying to counter balance the canter; when Ana canters to the left on a circle; she will do a canter pirouette if I don't use all my weight to counter balance her; it's that sticky left shoulder that keeps us turning in tight circles. Speaking of the amount of physical strength required to ride young horses, do you find that resistance training works best to keep yourself in shape or do you prefer cardio?

Also lol about the buck into canter; I recall riding a young welsh mare in my teens that would always buck into the canter transition; partly because she was excited and partly because she didn't know how else to organize herself any other way.


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## PoptartShop

LOL apparently there's an invisible scary monster in that one corner! That's too funny! :rofl: Frankie is so full of energy! She really does look powerful, you look good though! I'd probably be all over the place. I'm sure she tires you the heck out! 
Perfect bucking shot! :lol: Looks like you weren't going anywhere though! I would've flown outta the saddle hahaha. Such a darn mare!
Awwwwwwwwww omg that picture of Frankie's Mom w/ Dev is too sweet. <3 So tiny & adorable! Gah!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- some of them take a lot to organize and to help them balance, it just takes a lot but it gets better eventually! And I prefer stability exercises. I need to do more cardio but I'm limited in what I really can do. I used to run 25-30mi a week and I can't really run without being crippled up between my right knee and left hip flexor so I do-do dance and stairs to at least get some cardio but mostly stability for my knees and hips and lots of stretching to prevent pain and maintain function. If I don't stay active I will literally walk like a cripple. 

lol or it could have been she was a pony and had plenty of sass and attitude lol. Ponies are a breed unto themselves!
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PoptartShop- Apparently! I was thinking we had a ghost infestation or something that was working them all up lol. But thank you, I don't know. I just know I felt like I was going everywhere and trying to keep over center or throwing myself the opposite way to help her stand up. But she does, she's a full body workout to ride! I LOVE her and I'm thankful she takes that much out of me because I need it :lol: 

But I think having a saddle that doesn't leave me to fend for myself helped too. The saddle I use on Friday doesn't get in your way but it's not at all supportive either. It's a very flat saddle. Not awful but kinda like riding in stirrups bareback. And I don't know, I just knows when she bucked I pulled up fast so she wouldn't buck again. Dante's bucks were worse though, spun Dante on a circle whenever he'd buck and he eventually stopped. 

But thank you! Dev was a really sweet baby and he's still really sweet just really dorky and their mom was really sweet, though her nickname was crazy Gracie :lol:
____________________
And no update from me really. Mostly just exhausted and have a lot of HW to catch up on. Taking a break from the barn tonight to focus on studies. But I will say I'm definitely an introvert and it does really irritate when gossipy girl types group together and have that obnoxious pitch and say like every other word. I don't know why it annoys me so much, I'm blaming autism brain but it's like nails on a chalkboard for me. Ive kinda gotten to a point where I pretty much don't care what people think of me, their insecurity, their business but complete and utter mindlessness with a judgmental rude vibe does annoy me. I think I feel the vibes so strongly because I was bullied pretty badly elementary school threw HS and I don't but I sense people's energy as hokie as that sounds like it radiates off of them in waves. I just feel it and I don't know what it is but when I feel those vibes they're usually fairly accurate. Also glad as I've gotten older, I honestly don't care if anyone likes me because Im going to stay true to myself and my thoughts. I may not say everything but I won't be anything other than what I am.

I don't know but I've never understood gossip or talking about people behind their back. It's just cowardly and pathetic and people who do that I lose a TON of respect for as a person. I just don't see the point or the petty stuff, even if it has nothing to with me and what I overheard has nothing to do with me, it bothers me because a lot of the times it's very unfair to someone and I may not know them but when I hear it I just see a cowardly group of weak-shallow minds desperate for approval who I cannot respect. I may be pleasant, polite enough but nothing more. I don't like being around people who bad mouth and put down others, again just weak and small minded. Those who can't always seem to find a reason why others cant too and those who can find ways to build others up.


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## frlsgirl

@DanteDressageNerd - I visited with a friend this week who is a professional counselor and also has horses and horse friends. I told her that I wasn't so sure about the people at my barn anymore and that it really bothered me. She said something that really stuck with me: "All women at barns at beaches" she told me some horror stories of what other friends had told her to prove her point and then said "Just go to the barn with the assumption that nobody there is your friend; be polite and friendly but don't assume if they are friendly that they are your friend!" I've been thinking about this a lot and it seems like a really good policy; I keep to myself, I'm nice, if someone asks for my help I'm willing to offer help, but if I go in assuming that they are not my friends even though they may appear friendly then I'm less likely to get my feelings hurt, or be bothered by things like gossip. So that's my new attitude; I might be friendly with a lot of people but they are not my friends.


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## PoptartShop

I can SO relate to you. I was bullied as well through elem-HS. Up until college is when it all stopped, but it makes you 10x stronger going through that. I'm also an introvert. I hate drama, & gossip, etc. Just not my thing. I keep to myself too.
People can be so petty, I hate that. One of my biggest pet peeves ever. People can't just be straight-forward & tell people things to their face. Like why sugarcoat anything? People don't like how blunt I am either but well, that's just me! LOL. Exactly, no need to change for anyone. They really have nothing better to do than tear others down because of THEIR own insecurities. It's a shame.
I hope you do well with your homework.  Screw those people!


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## Tazzie

I'm so far behind on everything haha!

I'm glad everyone is doing so well! You and Frankie really do look great together. Quite the team! And you must have ghosts! Why else would everyone spook like that?

People are horrible. I was picked on a lot growing up too, and it's no fun. I hear ya on being an introvert though. Like, introverts unite! In your own home in the safety of your quiet :lol:

I sure hope the school year goes well!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- that's a really good way to look at it. At my barn I usually consider people there pretty friendly but I think different barns have different atmospheres. At my barn it's kinda like family. Gossip doesn't really go on and people kinda do their own thing. But I think that's how a barn should be where people are pleasant enough to each other but not necessarily best buddies or revealing secrets or a close friendship. 

But I agree. For me most of the things I observe like that are my University. I don't look older than my classmates but I'm 6-8yrs older than they are and life experience. I can't relate to them at all. But it kinda reminds me of a discussion my friend who has her PHD in theoretical physics and I talked about with the hard science. Many of us women who go into the hard sciences do it to escape the gossip hens and people who look down their nose at others. The escape is in the form of books and studies and not caring too much about the social aspects...but I guess that explains the social skills lol or lack of.
_____________________

PoptartShop- It definitely it hard to go through but I agree you definitely develop a thicker skin. I used to take things VERY VERY personally because I didn't understand but now I literally just don't care. It annoys me but it doesn't mean anything to me on a personal level. But I think if someone said anything directly to me, they'll have their @ss handed to them. I'm pretty vicious when people are that outright rude and disrespectful because if they're that low to say that about someone, they need to be put in place because while I can take it what if they say the wrong thing to someone whose really having a hard time and they take their own life? And honestly it's just bad manners and revealing of poor character IMO. I'm not a mean person but something comes out when I hear that kind of nastiness and I think it's from having been bullied and not caring at all about a bullies feeling. 

:lol: but I'm the same way bluntly honest. Try to be as straight forward as possible and I'm pretty not emotional. Or I should say consistent, I try to look for the things I like in people and focus on that but when people are petty and nasty to one another it sets me off. 

And exactly when people rip into others for petty stuff, it's all linked to insecurity and trying to feel better based on something meaningless. They havent learned that no matter what you say about someone else, it won't make themselves prettier, smarter, or kinder. It just makes them look ugly. I don't care how physically attractive someone is, if they have an ugly heart they're ugly to me.
_____________________

Katie-it's all good I know how busy you are with life and everything crazy going on and it's not like we don't chat fairly regularly.

But thank you. Frankie's growing up and we seem to be coming together more as a team. We still have a long way to go but things are coming together more and more. And that's what I thought :lol: ghost infestation for sure!

They really can be. People just don't like anyone who stands out or is different. I know for me I tend to be the "Hermione" in classes and have all the answers and interact with Professors and so I think sometimes they resent that :lol: but I enjoy myself and my classes and quite frankly I can't stand their mindlessness or the high-low pitch voices with a horrible rhythm. I don't know what's wrong with me but that speaking rhythm I just cant cope with and the stereo type OMG that's so gross, I can't believe we have to touch egg white and the omg did you see what she just did? She tripped like OMG. And then the so what are we like doing? OMG I was so wasted on Saturday. OMG this class is so boring. It drives me up a wall :lol: I keep reminding myself I"m 6-8yrs older, have a lot more life experience and honestly even when I was their age and younger I wasnt like that at all. I was very quiet and didn't know how to be around people lol. I tried to be invisible as much as possible to avoid any kind of attention.

But yes I think introverts go back to their books and hide from the mindlessness and just stick to ourselves because we don't want to become the attention subject of OMG she's so weird like what's her problem? Ugh she's so ugly, did you see what she wore? That's not what was said but what it amounted too. I just don't get it.
_____________________

Update. Again not much. Not going out to the barn until later today. I'm taking a nap and need to ride Saturday but I'm EXHAUSTED lol. I thought my Hamlet essay was supposed to be around 3pgs and I realized it's meant to be 6.5 so I'm drinking lots and lots of wine tomorrow. It helps me write for whatever reason. I have a hard time staying glued to a task but the ritalin helps SO SO SO much. I dont know how I functioned before it. Focus is SO much better. I get a lot calmer and not so wired on it. 

Lesson on Frankie tonight at 730. Need to ride Saturday but I am SO SO tired. I might take a short nap before I go.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Not much of an update

Rode Saturday yesterday and he was really good. I could tell he was a little muscularly sore, so I did not do a lot with him. We did a lot of walk, turns on the forehand and turns on the haunches in walk both directions. Did some trot, worked on introducing "collection" which is really more teaching him how to react to a core seat half halt of coming back, lowering the hind end and lifting the front end. So some transitions and just introducing the concept, so trot-walk then trot-nearly walk, trot forward and slight lengthening then coming back into corner and doing the nearly walk transition, getting the desired reaction a few steps and letting him out. Did that both ways. It was a pretty short ride but he was really good. I didn't feel anything particularly quirky and rode pretty true and used himself quite well so I was very pleased.

Also rode Frankie friday night and she was quite good. She was pretty tired but she was a good girl. Spooked once but nothing bad. So she has Saturday and Sunday off. I washed her legs and tail yesterday. 

Working on my Hamlet essay with my cats, taking a break atm. I'm looking at two different Hamlet books. They're full of notes and the other one has a modern translation to give me more perspective, so I can really make sure I understand what I think I do and really explain what I want to. 

Also some Frankie pics. She is butt high again which means she's definitely still growing and I keep laughing because I really wasn't expecting her to be quite this big but she's almost 16.3h and still growing. When I bought her I said I don't care what size she is as long as she's under 17h and now I'm like well I don't care as long as she's under 17.2h but really what I'm saying is she's going to be who she's going to be an I wont love her any less for being taller than I was hoping.


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## egrogan

Love the kitty pics  they are either excellent helpers or big distractions.

My cat is going on 17 and saw me through my early days of teaching, a masters, and a PhD. He's laid on my computer keyboard through a lot of papers!! :wink:


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## frlsgirl

Frankie looks so cute! No wonder you're exhausted with all that school work. It always feels so good when it's all done and you have a finished product that you can look at and say "wow, I did this!"


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## PoptartShop

My goodness Frankie is so shiny! Such a big girl, I loooove it!  Soooo cute.
& the kitties! Awwwww. That's so cute. You have study buddies LOL!
I'm glad Saturday was good!


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## DanteDressageNerd

egrogan- Thank you. Congratulations on earning your PhD that's really an accomplishment! What did you get your PhD in? 

But cats are definitely great helpers and motivators! Very supportive creatures of fluff and love!
_______________

Tanja- Oh exactly!! I really hate doing all the work but it's worth doing! And seeing the end product is really rewarding. I still have a LONG ways to go because Im a perfectionist but it's coming along. I have about 30hrs before it's due.
_______________

PoptartShop- what is your name? I feel odd always using your screen name lol. 

But thank you. My lady cats are great study buddies  And I'm REALLY proud of Saturday. He's really come along and turning into a great horse. It started rough but he really means well.

Frankie actually hates being cleaned but she always looks so nice after being cleaned. 
_______________

No update. I stayed home doing HW yesterday and working on stuff. Will be riding Frankie and Saturday tonight and focussing on studies so I don't know when I'll back on. Computer lab due Friday, Biology test friday and essay due tomorrow night.


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## PoptartShop

Allison!  LOL no worries!
Glad you're getting your homework done though, keep it up!  So much stuff going on this week it seems. I'm sure you'll do fine! 

I hope they are both good for you tonight.  Good luck on your test!!!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright Allison lol.

Thank you. I've got a lot more HW but I am taking a small break as the essay took the life out of me. It was only 8 pages but I have NO idea how many times I re-read and re-read Hamlet trying to dissect all the essentials to make sure it's the best essay I could write.

And thank you. I still need to study but I needed a mental break.
_____________________

UPDATE

From Monday night.

Rode Saturday for the first time without lunging him first and he was REALLY good! He didn't feel quirky or like he was going to do anything naughty. We cantered both directions although going right it took a while to get him to canter, he knew what I was asking for but you CANNOT say grr canter now. You have to ask and send, ask and send or he tightens up, refuses and acts up. He's honestly very misunderstood. I do not consider him a naughty horse at all. He really has a good temperament and is coming together. I think he's going to be a great amateur horse, he just needs someone who is respectful and kind. Encouragement goes far with Saturday, he's very willing to trust and wants someone to bond with. I can't even express how proud of him I am, I gave him a BIG hug. I was just SO proud of him!

I also rode Frankie who was AMAZING!! By far the best she's ever been, she rode more like an adult than a recently broke baby. We could actually canter and steer deeper into the corners without losing balance and I could actually really organize her because she understood what I was asking. Our ride was pretty short because she was so good, we asked her for a lengthening and on the first time asking she got it immediately. I don't know why I was surprised, she learned how to lengthen and shorten from the ground but she understood the concept on the first try which impressed me. 

We SHOULD be doing a clinic this weekend with Murray (the 4* eventer, BHSI instructor from the UK). I'm SUPER excited!! He's by far my favorite clinician and such a good coach! He liked Frankie last he saw her. Frankie is darling and fortunately a lot less green than before. I'm REALLY excited!! 

And hopefully when my friend comes back from Taiwan we'll be able to get fitted for a saddle of our own. I'll be really thankful when I can have my own saddle. It's an odd feeling to not own a saddle and be borrowing from others lol. I'll be thankful when I have my own.

My joints have been hurting me a lot lately. I don't know why but my hand that was broken the line where it was broken has been hurting quite a lot. My right knee, left ankle and hip has been hurting quite a bit as well. Especially my right knee, it was a real challenge going down the stairs yesterday.

Also pictures of Frankie, some of my favorites and then my lady cats who helped me so much with my HW yesterday. Lyla (Tabby) was very helpful and cuddled with me. Athena (grey) was also very helpful.


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## PoptartShop

Yay!! I'm glad Saturday was really good with you not lunging him beforehand.  That's great progress. He definitely deserved a big hug. Such a good boy!

Glad you had a good ride on Frankie too. Seems like everyone's coming along nicely and doing well.  Love good rides!
A clinic would be really fun & a good experience. I hope you can do it. I'm jealous.  Frankie has definitely come a long way. 
I'm sorry you are having some pain!  Joint pain really sucks. Ugh. I hear you on that. My dumb SI has been bothering me all week. I hope you feel better!

Awwww great pictures! They're your little homework buddies LOL. :lol: Sooo cute. Looks like Tabby was falling asleep in your papers haha. They're so cute.

Can't wait to see how the clinic goes!


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## frlsgirl

Oh my goodness that's a lot of hand written notes - my hand hurts just looking at them; sometimes when you get really focused on something you can end up straining different parts of your body without even realizing it. Your cat is adorable!

I noticed you got bell boots on Frankie as well, has she stepped on herself in the past or do you just use them as a precautionary method on all horses?


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## Tihannah

That's awesome for both Saturday and Frankie. I'm finally starting to see just how valuable lunging is in my work with Tess. I gotta tell ya, I am SO JEALOUS of that shine on Frankie! Lol. She looks almost like she's coated in vaseline!

Any yayyy for your upcoming clinic! I just love clinics and think they are so fun! Make sure you get some good video for us! Frankie is going to be such a nice horse!

I have been feeling the same way about the joints for lately. Feeling so sore and stiff everytime I sit down for a little while. I think the only time I don't feel stiff is when I'm at the barn and riding. I always feel so much better after I ride. Re-energized almost, but that's the only time really.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- He is. I'm really proud of how far he's come! 

I'm really happy they're going as well as they are, it makes up for this week :lol:

I hope your SI feels better soon! My knee feels better but it's still not right. My chiropractor adjusted it but it's not totally right. I think there may be damage in the cartilage disks.

And yep my girls are my little helper and motivators when I'm tired. They're my buddies.
______________

Tanja- It is. I went kinda nuts with it trying to organize my thoughts and put it together. But certainly the mind can get worn out, just as much as the body and so amazing how the mind being worn out exhaust the body! But thank you, my girlies are wonderful companions!

I have bell boots on Frankie because she over tracks so much she'll pull her shoes off without them. I always ride her in bell boots and she always wears bell boots because she over strides.
______________

Tina- lunging is a great tool to have in the toolbox! Very very helpful and makes it much easier to transfer ground exercises to undersaddle. There are things I find are easier to teach from the ground and other things that have to be taught under saddle but they help each other. And thank you. I'm pretty proud of the youngsters and that vitamin E supplement is where the shine comes from :lol:

Thank you. Frankie's coming together. She didn't move very well last night but I think that's from her knot in her butt muscle but I love clinics too. Really nice to get another perspective and have things pointed out that I wouldn't have thought of or known about otherwise. But I hope to get video. We shall see lol.

You know what they say motion is lotion lol. I think it's true in moderation. Too much and it all just hurts but just enough everything seems to hurt a little less.
______________

Update

I'm mostly just drained and exhausted. I don't even know if I'll make it out the barn. I'm just wiped out after this week. I REALLY need to ride Saturday. I haven't ridden him since Monday and I rode Frankie in a lesson last night then clinic on Frankie Saturday and Sunday. 

Frankie was quite good last night. She did a 3 loop serpentine pretty nicely for a 3yr old in a small arena. 

And had a good talk with Mari about riding and training. Mostly thinking about things of what's an appropriate expectation for a horse given their age, training, conformation, etc and how the 3 loop serpentine for a 3yr old was appropriately very good but if she were an older more developed horse I would have expected her to go with a big stride and much more impulsion. She's still getting the concept of things but is a very good girl.

She has a sore butt muscle on her left side, a few knots that Im trying to work out but it may be a little bit before it works itself out. 

Also short video of me and Dante going over a fence from I think July. Again keep in mind Im not a jumper. This was I think 4wks of me and Dante jumping? Maybe 3? I wasn't strong enough lol different muscles used, if I had been stronger I'd have been more stable but lol I'm not jumper. I'm okay and could be better if I worked at it but it's not my thing. When I jumped all the time I was better but those days are past lol. Not an eventer anymore.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright basic update

Saturday was AMAZING last night. Simply WOW!! I really got a LOT more suspension in his trot and he was SO much more uphill and using his neck really well. He's really worked out the core seat half halt and how to come up in his shoulder and sit behind. I was amazed, we actually did some true collected trot!! We did shallow loops, medium to collected, counter canter, some haunches fore and shoulder in and I was SO pleased/proud of him!! SO proud of him! He was great! Really good boy!

Then today I rode Frankie in the clinic. She was REALLY good and forward. Oh my gosh I'm so excited, I had to half halt more than send her forward!! Still a baby but she was great! I had to ride my butt off but I'm SO proud of her.

Classes wiped me out this week. I really pushed but I got a 95% on my paper *hurray* I have a CompSci test next week. The dread in my heart is real. Going to practice a lot of programming in my spare time. 

Been going all day, mostly exhausted. My cat threw up in my room, so I cleaned that up. Poor baby I guess wasn't feeling well. She's getting older, so I wonder if that's apart of it. She's starting to act like an old lady (Athena the grey is 9-10, Lyla the tabby is 3 or 4). 

Clinic was really good. I really enjoyed learning from Moray. He's always such a wonderful source of information. He reminded me of ask in the aid I want to ask with then reinforce with the whip for forward but be firmer in my half halts to where I emphasize the effect.

First video she kinda ran off with me :lol: we did not lunge first because I think she's to a point where we don't need to lunge first. I lunge the babies first not to get all their wiles out but to helps them figure out how to move under the saddle and bend and be regular and balance themselves, etc. Again she is 3 and she is a very big, powerful mover so it is a LOT to organize but as she gets stronger and develops it'll get better and better. LONG way to go but LOTS of improvement!!

We worked a lot on accuracy. I also had a dumb moment where I couldn't work out that he wanted two 10m circles between E and B because he had said B and F ....all my brain circuits don't always wire how they're supposed to and he was like what the heck are you doing? Why would you do that? And I was like I thought that's what you said lol but I was definitely feeling pretty "autistic" today. 

I've also come to the conclusion that my brain is operated by squirrels operating the patch panel network that makes me run. I told some people that and they were like well that's very Cassie of you. I'm really pretty eccentric but in a good natured way. My father also compared me to Sheldon and he's like oh God she's going to remember what she forgot and will wake everyone up at 0200 with "Penny...Penny...Penny" and Cassie you know you're a Sheldon and I said yes, I am aware. I'm like a polite more emotionally intelligent and not as brilliant version of Sheldon. My dad also LOVES Frankie. He finds her quite impressive (my dad used to ride some) but he said that's quite a horse, I hope you continue to put in the work to be worthy of her and I said well we're working on it...I really do try!

Moray said he was quite pleased with how she's going and said this is a horse you really could take up the levels quite fast. She's more than capable.


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## disastercupcake

Your mare Frankie is stunning! So fluid and amazingly well coordinated for only a 3 year old. Just wow. She's definitely going places!


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## Tihannah

Awesome clinic! I really liked a lot of the stuff he was saying and it reminded me of my lesson just yesterday. My trainer was saying some of the very same things about not trying to get everything at once and just focusing on the most important, like bend. Frankie looked really good! I wish I could get Tess to do transitions that good! Her downward from trot to walk was so nice. I still struggle with Tess not wanting to stay forward in the downward and throwing her head up.

You're doing a great job with her Cassie. No way one would think she was a 3 yr old watching her ride!


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## Zexious

Yay for a positive update! 

I'm a bit [read: very] behind on your thread--are Frankie and Saturday both lesson horses? Or is Frankie yours?
Nothing like a good lesson to set the stage for a great weekend!!
And followed up by a great ride on Frankie! Yay! Is impulsion something you're currently working on with her? She's really impressive, for being only three! And I have to say she's absolutely gorgeous! I swoon.

Congratulations on your paper! It sounds like this is a great week all around!
When do you graduate? What degree will this be?

That's a bummer about your kitty not feeling so great--it's so hard when they start to get older and things just don't work quite as well as they used to </3 

Glad the clinic went well, too! They were always some of my favorites to participate in, just because it gives you a fresh look at yourself as a rider, even when you have a coach/trainer that you work with frequently. 
I had trouble loading the videos (I think it's on my end, inevitably), but it sounds like you've got a really great idea of where your strengths and weaknesses are. That's such a great asset to have in any hobby/sport. You are an impressive pair, that's for sure!
And, to be fair, we all misinterpret sometimes haha! xD

Sheldon~
What a funny analogy! If you're even half as smart (and I'm sure you're more!) as the character then I'd say that's quite the compliment!

Sounds like things are going really well for you! I'm glad to hear it


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## DanteDressageNerd

disastercupcake- Thank you. I'm REALLY proud of Miss Frankie, having been apart of her life since before she was born and her mother's life. I used to talk to her mom's belly when she'd kick. 

I've put a lot into Miss Frankie, so I'm really proud of how she's turning out. She's a very smart girlie. She's a lot to ride and organize but a very fun mare to work with. She's very smart, willing and wants to do a good job.
____________

Tina- It's been a good clinic so far, riding again at 3:15 today. And certainly you are ALWAYS ALWAYS working on the basics and discovering more and more about them and recognizing more and more. It's pretty neat. If you think of the dressage training scale, each portion is like an iceberg what you see is a very small portion of everything that is going on and what goes into making it all come together and happen. It takes a lot to develop and I think the more you learn and the more you put into it, the more you appreciate how much it takes. 

But thank you! I'm really proud of her! We're a really good fit, her personality and mine just suits. She's very smart and very willing but she is still opinionated and in a different situation I don't think she'd be so happy. A few of the trainers around here I think would make her crabby and bitter. She'd really resent not being appreciated and she doesn't try nearly as hard if she feels pressured and some of the trainer around here practically bully the horses and I don't know how they get the horses to work at all because most of the horses I ride would throw you into the ground if you got rough or aggressive with them or had a you will do it or else attitude.
____________

Zexious- Saturday is a horse I train who when I started with was very quirky and would slam on the brakes and rear when he didn't want to do something (he'd been bullied and pushed around) and now he's becoming very agreeable and pleasant to ride, so I'm pretty proud of him. He was broke over summer and then sat for a few months until I restarted him about 2 months ago. And Frankie is my mare I bought unbroke and broke her. She's my baby lol.

Right now we're working on basically improving her balance, improving bend, introducing the basic concepts to get her to improve her understanding of basics like half halting, pushing from behind, come up, transitions, connecting to the outside rein, accuracy, etc. Riding the corners better, having more control lol. Babies are interesting to ride because they just don't really know what you're asking and so you have to show them. They're very honest which is a quality I appreciate and partially why I wanted to break, start and train my own. They haven't learned all the evasion techniques and are very trusting, so it's easier to keep those qualities as they progress. 

It is. It's hard for me to see because my cats are my babies and study partners. They're a big part of my life, I cant sleep without them anymore because I don't feel safe. I'm not a coward but I just feel anxious without them.

But definitely I enjoy clinics as well and lessons in general. It's nice to have a new perspective or to be told a better way to do something. The learning process is what makes riding fun and I think it's what we get addicted to as riders. You're never done learning.

But yes my nickname has been Sheldon for a LONG time. I used to not know how to handle social situations, so I would hide behind things until people left because I was so worried about how I'd smile and how awkward it would be walking by and that was in my early twenties lol. I avoid social situations for the most part, I don't understand a lot of the nuances, so things like gossip or belittling people or small talk or small stuff I dont get. I try to be pretty straight up, anything I say behind someones back I'd say to their face, Im just a bit socially dense. Ive gotten a LOT better because I made myself study body language and talk to a mirror to get my speech patterns regular and less robotic. I see things in terms of interconnecting parts or sensations and so sometimes it's REALLY hard for me to translate my thoughts. My IQ is about 146, so I'm "smart" but not Sheldon smart. And I don't know how smart or not I really am because I also have aspergers (high functioning autistic spectrum disorder) and have learning difficulties that make things difficult (I've gotten a LOT better with age) but for example when people explain things to me and don't show me I literally can't understand. When I was in bootcamp for the Marine Corps, it was hysterical. I was called special one a lot and I'd get told I was so stupid they didn't have to see what color my hair was to know and they didn't care what books I read because I also helped the senior DI with her college economics homework lol. That senior DI was a bad @ss, just WOW. She had 6 kids and ran a 19min 3 mi and rope climbed a 30ft rope with one hand on a rope and the other on a separate rope. and if I'm being a little obnoxious or Im not focused during my lessons I usually get asked if I took my medicine...when I take my meds I'm a lot calmer and not so squirrel like. My sister's bf is WAY smarter than I am. His IQ is 186 (Sheldon level). He's insanely smart and also an aspie, so he and I are pleasantly odd in a well meaning kind of way.
_____________

More Frankie pics and more video to come later today (I hope).





















Great talk with Mari (my trainer) about training and riding and I was saying how I don't understand why people don't think they need lessons or think they're somehow beyond learning and can't appreciate other riders. 

Part of riding is constantly making mistakes you're unaware you're making and improving upon them and learning to recognize how you could do something better or being quicker to recognize something before it becomes an issue. Without Dante for example I wouldn't be the rider I am today or ride Frankie nearly as well without all the babies I broke and rode before Frankie. And with Frankie and other babies and horse I will continue to learn and improve. Education is never over, you're never perfect and you will always make mistakes no matter how minor they may be. I think riding keeps you humble. No room for ego when you realize how much you know and how much you have yet to learn. Always something to work on and be better about. EVERY single rider has their strengths and weaknesses.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright more videos from the clinic

We worked a lot on keeping her up, animated and forward with less leg. She was SO tired, she worked really hard. She worked pretty hard yesterday and today she worked hard but she was SO good. I'm entirely in love with her. I couldn't have asked for a better horse. I just love her. I just feel like we're a really good fit for each other. She did great. Im SO proud of her. She was tired, she was a bit sore coming in but she did her best and pushed through, even though it was hard! I'm SO proud of her. 

Again remember she's 3 that's part of some of the balance issues and things we're addressing. A baby is not as coordinated or strong as an adult but she is a very good baby! Were working a lot more on accuracy and emphasizing it which on a baby who doesn't steer very well is TOUGH. We have a long way to go but I'm so proud of her. She's such a smart, athletic girl with a good work ethic and spirit. She is 1/4 tb and has that try.


























end of lesson talk






Just for comparison. Here is Frankie's daddy, I think she moves quite a bit like him.
















Ive also decided to bulk up muscle wise again. I put on mass pretty easily, it's partially genetic. Both of my parents were VERY athletic and powerful but it's also because I was SO fit before. When I muscle up, I look Wonder Woman and beast like vs elegant. Im not a delicate little lady but I am powerful. I used to get talked to about being a fitness model and also for lingerie but fitness made more sense to me and I am NOT photogenic hardly at all haha. Im also on my heavy side. I usually weight around 140 and I weight 148 at the moment but I'm 5'7 and muscle dense. I used to be able to throw the 180lb guys over my shoulder like they were rag dolls :lol: My back used to be really built and my legs. I could sprint faster than 3/4s of the guys before my first injury. I had a huge stride as a runner, now my left side has limited range of motion, so running beyond half a mile isnt particularly possible. Left hip locks up and has no stride and then my neurosis kicks in and cant stand my right leg having full range of motion and my left leg having like half of that. It sucks.


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## PoptartShop

So glad the clinic went well. Thanks for sharing! 
Frankie is soooo stunning.  Yes, yes you are powerful! Especially since you can ride Frankie!  Keep it up girl!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Thank you. I'm really proud of Miss Frankie and I think the clinician has a lot of wonderful advice and universal input that most anyone can benefit from. He's a phenomenal coach, my absolute favorite to work with!

But thank you. I was flexing going like woah. I bulk up quickly and get really defined muscles. You can see it in my legs, hips, waist, shoulders, back and arms. lol but it helps a lot with riding! Can be a lot quieter and more correct with aids or definitive or clear
___________________

Update

Kinda had a depressive funk yesterday and everyone I know who has depressions was too. It's weird. I call it a funk because it wasn't an episode. Just a funk of feeling like I'm such a failure, I hate myself, I can't do anything right, I'm so stupid, how can I even exist like this and all those typical depression related thoughts that aren't your real thoughts but serotonin being an @ss hole.

I got some video of Saturday from last night. He was SO good. Towards the end he was getting really tired which is part of the neck position towards the end but he was SO SO SO SO good, I am SO SO proud of him!! He had two days off and I got on without lunging him and he was amazing!! By far the best he's ever been!

When I started I could not use a whip on him at all, I couldn't ask him to go forward without him slamming on the brakes and going up, I couldn't do a lot of this at all. SO I'm SUPER proud of how willing and ridable he's become. It's not perfect by any means but the willingness and the eagerness to please is something that makes me so proud. He really loves to work!! He really tries and gives his all! And for a horse who was previously belligerent and unwilling, it's a big deal. I'm SO proud of him. He's such a good boy! The saddle is not really supportive at all, it's a good saddle that you can be in balance. It's just basically you totally holding yourself if that makes sense?






right side leg yield because it's really hard for him. I sat the first one because I thought it might help him but it didnt. But I kept saying one more and one more and I felt bad but I wanted him to get the idea better. I tried some shoulder fore on a circle to help him. He was tired but it helped him!


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## frlsgirl

Wow I bet you are wiped after all that riding and learning and on top of that finishing your paper and getting such a good grade on it too! Congrats!

Frankie looks very good; I wouldn't have known that she's only 3.5 from looking at the videos; she seems mature for her age.

Glad Saturday is going so much better for you; I didn't realize he is half Arab; he could pass as a small WB.


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## PoptartShop

Saturday is looking so good!!!  I love it. He has such big movement.
You look so good on him. An eager horse is a good horse!

Awwwww I'm sorry you felt like that...not sure if it'll make you feel better, but when I'm PMSing I have times like that too. Just make myself feel all down. Ugh. It's no fun.


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## Tazzie

I'm so far behind again, but man is Frankie looking amazing! I love listening to your videos and think of doing some of these things with Izzie. It's so educational!

Saturday looks great too! Such a good boy 

I'm sorry you were in a funk  I know that feeling all too well lately, so I get it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Thank you! I'm pretty excited that I finished it. A part of me wishes I was writing the essay on Candide but oh well too late. 

Frankie is very smart and willing to learn. She's definitely a lot to organize and is very impressionable but she's very willing and a lot of try. In some ways she's pretty mature and in other ways very baby. She rides very green and she honestly takes it all out of me to ride (secretly she's part of why I'm getting myself back in shape and PTing as much as I am) :lol:I am usually puffing after our rides but she's awesome and really rewarding to work with!

Saturday is actually a hanoverian/arabian cross who is registered as an oldenburg. He's actually recognized as a proper oldenburg where as Frankie is ISR and so Frankie is not really an oldenburg but her foals (if she gets premium mare status) are eligible for oldenburg. So he's by a warmblood stallion, out of an arabian mare. And Saturday is almost 16.1h so he's actually not little, I think sometimes because I have so much leg horses that aren't small look smaller? IDK *shrugs* I have a long leg. Either way I really enjoy riding him! He's a smart cookie!

Saturday's sire




_____________

Allison- Thank you! I love him! He's such a smart boy with a really strong desire to please and after a ride, you can definitely tell he's proud of himself! It's adorable, he like why yes I'm pretty awesome! Did you see what I did! Yeah I know, pretty great right? But thank you. I'm most proud of his change in attitude and his willingness and eagerness to please, that to me is the most valuable asset a horse can have that and of course soundness :lol:

PMSing definitely makes sense. Im sorry you get like that but Im past the monthly visit, so I think it's something in the weather because my sister, my friend has depression and her mother all were having weird funks yesterday. It's odd. 
_____________

Katie- haha it's all good. But thank you! I'm really proud of my little girl! She's very smart and willing! And definitely! That's why I share all the videos, for people who want to listen to what Moray has to say and learn from them. He has a lot of great advice!

And thank you! I'm really proud of the change in him! He's really coming around and is such a willing, eager to please horse he's AWESOME to work with and fun to ride! He works me hard. I was wiped out after the ride but it was fun!

Hopefully February will be a better month!
_____________
Update

Not much of an update tonight. Staying home to do homework and STUDY. 

We're reading Voltaire's Candide which I LOVE. I love the satire. It's really very smart and interesting and thought provoking. I just enjoy it. I kinda feel like an @ss hole saying yes but Im reading Voltaire but it's actually really interesting and thoughtful about human nature and perception and how people blindly follow without any critical analysis or asking does this make sense? It also makes you look internally to some of the inconsistencies in your own character and gives you a kind of fresh perspective and way of thinking that's really refreshing. I won't elaborate too much. I'm sure it's a boring paragraph but I'm really enjoying it. It's humbling.

Furthermore drama, especially the kind some people surround themselves with and create I dont understand. I have too much anxiety in my personality to bother with it and don't get involved. Dramatic avoidance :lol: but honestly emotional reasoning and irrational "logic" confuses me to no end. It hurts my brain trying to find reason in chaos because I can't wrap my brain around it. I don't get it. It's a BIG part of why I DO NOT date. I can't cope with the ups and downs and eye opening OMG how could I have been so blind? Why am I so stupid? I just don't think that's a door I want to open in my life. Romantic relationships are too confusing and cause too much anxiety in me. I can't cope :lol: my level or neurosis goes to infinity...well maybe not quite that bad but Im like a really nerdy guy who just doesn't get body language or what people are saying. I can be extremely dense, I can be super perceptive and intuitive but with romantic stuff and normal human-y stuff Im dense as a post. Guys are confusing and Im so hyper logical, especially in social situations and I'm super awkward and I have no idea how I'm supposed to behave and I don't want to seem too odd but then I blurt out awkward truths and odd facts because I don't know what Im supposed to do and then the texting, phone. How often are you supposed to talk, what do you talk about? Can I ask questions? What's appropriate or not appropriate?

This is definitely me


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## PoptartShop

OMG THAT VIDEO IS SO MY LIFE! LOL :lol: Seriously, I love that scene. The story of my dang life. Could watch that over & over again haha.

Oh yeah, the weather can definitely affect your mood.  I understand.

Study study study!  I have anxiety too, which makes it even harder for me to date. Probably because most of my anxiety STEMS from dating! Ugh. I've had zero luck, guys are always d-bags or end up being d-bags, whether they're nice/respectful etc. it doesn't matter, always ends the same! So...that's why I'm single hahaha. But it's okay. INDEPENDENT WOMEN UNITE! Like, how do you take care of a boyfriend? Do you have to take it for walks? :rofl:


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## frlsgirl

Horse breeding and registries are so confusing; so how do you get from Hanno/Arab to Oldenburg? I did read about Arabs strongly influencing the Trakehners but didn't know about the Oldenburg and Hanno registries. Saturday's daddy sure his handsome. Will he be for sale at some point? Does your barn breed, train and then sell or are all those horses you are training already sold?

And lol on the video. I'm similar but a little more like this:






I think sometimes people avoid me because I come at them 100miles and hour and they are probably thinking "Oh no, not her again" lol


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## Dehda01

Arabian mares are more likely to get approved OLD-NA. So the approved the mare got approved old, and the stallion could have been registered Hanoverian. But may have been approved multiple registries or only OLD(don't have time to look him up). So the foal can only be registered old because of dam being approved MMB with old and sires approval.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- lol right? It's pretty great and at least humorful!

lol pretty much! That's exactly how I feel. Independence is bliss and dating in this age SUCKS. You can't trust anybody or what anybody says. The biggest A holes are the ones who seem so polite, responsible, genuine and real when in reality they're just really good at playing the game and manipulation.
________

Tanja- Hahaha nice!! I can be similar, so I understand. I just say it weeds out the weak and people you don't need in your life for the people who are really worth while!

The barn did bred, train and sell. Or that's the intention for all the youngster- to sell but I also used to do a lot of re-training projects which were fun.

Most of the german warmblood registries will approve a purebred arabian or thoroughbred mare or stallion for breeding. The warmblood registries aren't really "Breeds" like thoroughbred or morgan or arabian in having a closed book but types that have open book registries, so stallions can be approved by multiple different stud books and breed, same with mares. Saturday's mom (Arabian) was approved oldenburg and his sire is a hanoverian stallion approved hanovarian and oldenburg. Hanoverian does approve arabian mares but Saturday's mom was approved with Oldenburg, so he's an oldenburg. They're performance/sport horses. 

Or with Frankie, her grandmother (the tb) wasn't taken to inspection, so her mother couldn't be approved in the main mare book with oldenburg, so both Dev and Frankie are ISR but Frankie, if she gets elite mare status can be bred and produce fully registered oldenburg foals. But she probably would not be approved hanoverian because of her 1 tb grand dam who wasn't taken to inspection and ISR isn't seriously recognized outside of the US. So she's not a "true" Oldenburg but I say she is an oldenburg for simplicity sake. But really it's a label because in Germany it's based on region/geographical location vs lineage. Exceptions being trakehner and holsteiner. Trakehner only allows others trakehners, tbs, and arabs into the bloodline and holsteiner, I believe just tb and other holsteiners. But German, dutch, danish, swedish, belgian, etc warmbloods have quite a bit of over lap and interbreeding. 
________

Update

I honestly feel like [email protected] I am so dizzy I didn't go to class which is very unusual for me but with a 40min drive, I didn't feel safe driving. I was concerned I might pass out at the wheel or get super disoriented. Just not safe to drive. No idea why I feel this way but I do.

I rode Frankie last night and she was EXCELLENT! We did a 3 loop serpentine which was the best it's ever been. She was VERY forward, so it was a lot more half halting, doing exercises and rebalancing which is good because I much prefer forward and organization to encouraging forward. She was a little tricky because she was a little sore and trying to throw all her weight down her right shoulder but it wasn't bad. Just had to be more mindful of my position and half halts. Riding her is a lot of very subtle aids and trying to organize her. It really takes quite a lot of little things, like stepping a little out or in or a half halt or open rein or core, position. It's very minor variations but very detailed and not allowing her to pick up on bad habits, stopping them before they form saves a lot of time and makes me more aware of what will become a problem or training issue if I don't address it now. Our lessons are really helping quite a lot and I'm very thankful to be in such a good program!

I also rode Saturday, he was a bit sore so he did not work hard but I thought light work is better than no work for soreness. I always found if I was very sore and did nothing it was worse than if I did a little bit of something but didn't push it. His right leg yield was much better. I just did walk trot, big serpentines and some 15m circles both ways and got off. He was a really good boy, despite being a bit sore. He used to completely give up when he was sore. Now he can push through it but I was fair to him and didnt push him. More like get the muscles warmed up and let him be, then I gave him a little massage to try to help him feel better. He LOVED it!


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## PoptartShop

I'm so sorry you are feeling that way.  I wonder what's going on. I hope you feel better soon & get some much-needed rest. Glad you didn't drive too, that's scary. 

That's awesome you had good rides on both Frankie & Saturday last night. At least you did some light work, I agree. Nothing wrong with that.  Sure he was super happy with that massage! Awww! So cute! 



You can say that again, independence IS bliss! YES!


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## frlsgirl

Thanks for the clarification on the registries! Yeah it's totally different in Germany. 

Sorry you are not feeling well. I sometimes get dizzy spells when I've had a stomach bug and therefore not digesting Zoloft, it causes brain zaps and dizzy spells if you skip a dose; and not being able to digest it is essentially skipping a dose. Also, you did A LOT over the past week so I'm sure your body is ready for a break.


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## Dehda01

Arab mares CAN be approved to most warmblood registries. BUT certain registries hold them to higher standards with conformation and movement. Hanovarian is one of the most picky of the registries. RPSI or OLD-NA are more lenient and the American registries are jokes.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I wouldn't say the American registries are a joke. The judges at the inspections are the same ones used in Germany. Not all the German warmbloods are impressive or high quality. I saw quite a few plain German horses, as well as impressive ones. I'd say the general quality is similar but Germany breeds in much greater quantities than in the US. 

RPSI is very lenient, I don't consider that a warmblood registry but oldenburg is more lenient than hanoverian but they're fairly close.

Allison- It's alright. I'm sure it was coming, I've probably been pushing myself too much and stressing out too much. It was bound to happen and my body was probably like yeah...no you need to sleep :lol:

But thank you! He really enjoyed his massage and Frankie seemed to enjoy her work too! She's gotten so much more forward!

It certainly is. Independence and free speech. 
__________________

Tanja- You're welcome. 

I hope you start feeling better soon and can digest the zoloft! I think you're right about doing quite so much and having to take a step back, as my body was clearly saying it needs to rest.
__________________

Update did not go to any of my classes today. I feel like [email protected] I'm not as light headed and dizzy as this morning but feel light headed and awful. I'll likely ride tomorrow. Tonight studying for a test and resting.


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## Dehda01

AWS isn't a joke? 

I have seen and brought mares to be approved OLD/RPSI that I didn't think would pass for various reasons that did.


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## DanteDressageNerd

American/Canadian warmblood, etc registries are a joke. I'll agree with that. They literally allow ANYTHING. I had a friend get a purebred tb registered with american warmblood. It's definitely meaningless, they'll approve anything. They have no standards for sport horses at all.

It's hard to say with the registries. They do have restrictions in what they'll pass. Gracie, Frankie's mom was really not a pretty mare and had some conformation faults but good legs and 3 basically good gaits but both Dev and Frankie I'd say are very nice horses. It's hard to say what will produce well or not depending on what faults they have. Though I've seen some JUNK tb mares get approved that I would never have bred. It's a LOT LOT easier to get a tb or arab approved than a wb mare. The wb mares are held to a much higher standard from what Ive seen.

I'll say in the states most of the trakehners Ive seen are fairly low quality but I haven't been all that impressed with the movement of quite a few german trakehners either.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I forgot to add I talked with my psychiatrist and told her my new song I made, "if you're crazy and you know it take your pills! If you're crazy and you know it, take your pills, if you're crazy and you know it and we really dont want you to show it, if you're crazy and you know it take your pills!"

I got a few laughs for that one haha. Also have been compared to Sheldon a lot more. My best friend told me she was pregnant and I was like oh so what do I need to get you? She said I didn't have to get her anything but I said but it's the social convention, it's expected. When something like this happens you're supposed to give them a gift or its considered rude or inconsiderate and she started laughing, I love how you put things and I was like but what do I get you? I also sent my mother a thing that was basically me...yeah I'm almost in my late 20s and still will call my mom and say mom, mom, mommy, mama, mama, mom, mommy and when she finally asks what I want. I'll say Hi and go away :lol:

My dad also said I'll probably end up calling him at 3am with a new revelation or idea and elaborate on something random...I was speechless, so my dad said oh come on you knows it's true...my response was maybe? But my real thought was yeah, yes it's true. 

Also had a big nerd moment in computer science yesterday where I started breaking down the textbook and what certain aspects meant to a math major :lol: I was kinda proud of myself like YES I've reached a new level of nerd!


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## Dehda01

Exactly. I really feel many of the "good" warmblood registries are allowing tb and Arabian mares in with unacceptable conformation and movement faults. Period. And while some can be repaired in two -three generations, many will rear their ugly little heads up for a MUCH longer time. A stallion can only fix so much. And a mare contributes 50% of the genes plus carry the MITOCHONDRIAL DNA... and teach a significant amount of temperament. So the mare needs to be quality. Damlines MEAN SOMETHING FOR A REASON!!!

That is the whole point of going through the rigamarole of the inspections, or they should just admit they just want the $300 in initial fees and then a yearly "maintenance fee" and then your mare will get accepted.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I agree, though(Frankie's mom and half tb) is a nice mare. Her main conformations faults were being low in her hind pasterns and her short, upright neck but her legs, shoulder and hind end were good. Head was not especially pretty. She didn't score very high but she produced better IMO than the mare that was scored high point mare of the inspection and placed 2nd for the country. Gracie's kids were sound, the high point mare's kids are hard to keep sound. So it's hard to say which horse is better. Gracie had better mechanics but wasnt as flashy or pretty as the mare whose kids have soundness problems (the mare herself didn't have soundness problems).

But I definitely agree about the importance of mare quality and mitochondrial DNA being important for the development and health of the foals. A good stallion can only do so much and at any point genes can crop up from the grandparents or great grandparents, etc that may be undesirable. 

Saturday's mom was quite nice, I liked her a lot. Very correct conformation. Her only down point was her walk and flat croup. 

This was the foal from the arab mare who had good mechanics and ok conformation but wasnt particularly pretty or what Id consider a quality arabian but good movement mechanics. I actually think she'd be REALLY nice with different training. I could just imagine how nice her canter would be when she came over her back. This was actually a mare I wanted to look at before I decided on Frankie. This mare is registered hanoverian and I really think she's quite nice, especially in a different training program. It's a half sibling to Saturday (same sire).






___________

Update rode and bathed Saturday. He was REALLY REALLY good. He wasn't as good as the other day but he's really starting to understand aids a lot better and coming up a lot better through his back and in general developing better posture and gaining strength. His right leg yield was awesome! His circles and 10m circles were pretty good. Cantered a 15m circle that was quite nice but I think he needs to see the chiropractor and I need to find a new saddle for him because his back shape has changed again and the one we're using has too much curve to it and I think it makes it hard for Saturday to completely use his back. But he LOVED being pampered and bathed. I may ride him tomorrow and see if I can borrow a different saddle for him to use. 

I'll be riding Frankie on Sunday. I think in the evening, Im not entirely sure yet but I groomed her a massaged her yesterday which she LOVED! She was very upset seeing me give Saturday so much attention and affection. It's hard loving on two horses.

My friend is leaving the barn tomorrow which makes me really sad. I understand why but I'm still sad about it. She had Frankie's pasture mate and she was my friend too, we had really good discussions about dressage and horses and life in general. We have a lot of similarities bu enough differences to keep it interesting. Plus I adore her family too.

But I made her some cupcakes. Also Frankie is growing again. She's BIG. She's really close to 16.3h. But she's definitely growing. I also find it funny because in her person she has a really good sized neck but in the pictures her neck looks weenie.

I have a sinking feeling at the pit of my stomach, I can't place or explain but it makes me uneasy. I don't know why it's doing this but it's a very unpleasant feeling that makes me uneasy. Usually when I get a feeling like this it means something. I just don't know what atm.


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## Dehda01

I would like that mare if she was 4. Not as impressed at coming 7. I don't think she took the best of both breeds with her neck shoulder tie-in and set up and I love a good Arab/half Arab. I won't pick on her more than that online. I have 4 of them right now.

Soundness absolutely has to be considered and I worry now about how light and blood-y we are making the wbs these days. A good solid old fashion wb could take a licking and keep on ticking, but doesn't knee flail like they really want right now. But they have a great mind and tend to be more ammy friendly.


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## DanteDressageNerd

The mare was actually 4 at the time, they wrote the incorrect date on the youtube video. She's a 2012 foal. She's a year younger than Saturday but Saturday wasn't broke until 5. But I think she'd be a lot nicer and not use her neck so oddly under a different rider and with more schooling. This particular rider rides her horses very inverted, even Rapture's neck looks funny with how he's ridden and he has a well conformed neck. 

For sure soundness, a good mind and ability all matter but especially soundness. I don't know quite the reason there are soundness issues. I see in a lot of horses that they're very sturdy, regardless of how much or how little bone they have then others who may have very little bone or a lot of bone and dont seem to stay sound. I think the older ones tended to be more amateur friendly, a lot of the modern ones have a lot more blood and mind. They're very intelligent, quick thinking and sharp. I think the dutch tend to breed for more knee and leg flailing than the german horses. But it just depends. There are so many different lines and different types and differences, it's hard to make a generality. 
____________________

I rode Saturday today. He gave me a workout. I was huffing and puffing after our ride lol. I had to ride pretty hard because he thought saying no I don't want to is an option when I wasn't asking for anything unreasonable, so he learned to go whenever asked and he was really good. We're trying a new saddle on him. It's a wintec Isabel (I am not a fan) but it fits Saturday better. I think he's uncomfortable when it comes onto his shoulders, so Im trying to find a way to sit properly on his shoulder and not come up onto his shoulder. It's too wide, so hopefully I can work something out so Saturday is more comfortable. 

He is really understanding position and inside leg to outside rein a LOT better. He had some good shoulder in today and his leg yields left and right were very good. He's sitting more and changing saddles allowed him to use his back SO SO much better and more completely. It made me very happy to feel him come up so much more in his back. He's getting stronger and much more schooled, he still feels green but he feels a lot more confirmed if that makes sense. I'm very proud of him. He's a really sweet boy. He also tried to follow me around the arena after our ride lol. I couldnt' get pictures, I just got Saturday kisses and cuddles lol. 

I also rode Frankie who was VERY hard to ride tonight. She was very sassy and had a bit of an F-you I dont want to attitude and I wasnt riding my best but we worked through it and had a very productive ride. She was a lot better towards the end and we practiced a few trot-canter transitions. We actually got a surprise lead change which surprised me but then I was able to maintain some counter canter when she picked up the wrong lead (my fault) she was going out too much through the outside shoulder. So we went back to focus on that and brought her shoulder in line and wa-la the correct lead came through. 

Im anxious to get a saddle that correctly fits Frankie. The wide is just far too wide for her. A medium-wide is what fits her the wide rocks side to side a hair too much and it bothers Frankie. She'd be much happier with a correctly fitted saddle, she is a sensitive girl and she definitely feels that slight shift and it makes it much harder to balance her but in a way it is good because I have to be that much more mindful of my position. She's very sensitive and picks up on a small changes and exaggerates her responses. She's a very good fit for me and hilarious. She was all cuddles and kisses tonight. She cracks me up. I rubbed her lips and she just laid her head in my arms and was resting her head on my shoulder. It was adorable. She's such a silly girl.

Also my knee is causing me a good deal of pain. From running around with my young student and riding. I was in SO much pain coming off of Saturday and after riding Frankie. So much pain lol but Im used to it. Im kind of concerned about the knee in general, it's gotten a lot worse. I think something is wrong with the alignment and the internal structure. I have arthritis but it's bad.

I'd also like to add because it's kinda funny but I was asked if I wear spanx or a girdle when I ride and I was a little confused but then she explained the reason she was asking is because my waist is so small. No. My waist is just small. I do work out quite a lot to gain muscular condition to ride these horses because it takes a LOT LOT of core and muscular strength. Leg, shoulders and especially core. It's how I get the lift and can be as quiet as I am, still lots more works to do to get quieter, more tactful, more exact. It's amazing me how much deeper and deeper the details become and how much more attention I need to pay to the things I didn't know about before. Such an interesting journey and Im very thankful to be making it with Miss Francesca and Mister Saturday.

Also pics of Frankie and Saturday. Also one pictures of Frankie and Dev, sister and brother.


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## frlsgirl

I was huffing and puffing last Saturday as well - probably because it was so hot outside - it got up to 88 at the barn! Everybody was sweating, horses and humans!


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## PoptartShop

I hope you get a saddle for Frankie that fits her perfectly, like asap! That'll make riding a lot better for you & she will feel better too. Maybe won't be 'as' sassy if that's possible for her LOL.
I'm sure you did work up a sweat. Awww she's such a cuddler! That's so cute. 

I hope your knee feels better too. 
Great photos!  They're all so cute.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- it very well could have been but 80 degree in February is crazy! That sounds awful! Poor ponies! I'd have been sweating through my breeches after the cold spells!
____________

Allison- I really hope so. Frankie needs a saddle that really fits her and sits right on her back. I think she'll be so much happier. Especially with her being this green she feels any shifts in the saddle and it affects her balance and ability to move forward. It annoys her, it'd annoy me too so I cant blame her.

Thank you! I hope my knee heals too. I think something is wrong with the medial meniscus because that's where the pain and swelling is located, plus the incorrect movement in my knee. I think it'll heal on it's own but it's not good.

But thank you. I love all my babies!
____________

Update

I've had a lot of homework and not a ton of down time, so I haven't been on a whole lot. 

Saturday was quite good our last ride, he's coming more and more over his topline and using his back better and better. Him being able to collect more and sit and carry more of a rhythm has helped a lot. He's a lot stronger. And the new saddle Im using on him is helping a lot. The other one made it uncomfortable for him to come up over his back. 

Frankie was really good last night, we had a GREAT ride. She was really hard to ride, it felt like she was trying everything to avoid coming up through her trapezius muscle. I feel like the saddle is just too wide and was rocking some on her and she REALLY didn't like that. She had a a few sassy moments. We did a lot more complex patterns and increased our accuracy and she also lengthened both directions. Her last lengthening was amazing! So we'd do a lengthening to a shortening and she's getting that. I have to have that much more body awareness and control but it's really cool. She's definitely not easy to organize, it takes a lot of core but Im glad all the exercises are helping e out and Mari is able to point out my faults and crookednesses to me, so I can get better. Always learning, always gotta work on something. 

Some Frankie lunging from this weekend










And Frankie. She is as much of a weirdo as I am lol. She cracks me up every day and I know I look like [email protected] but Frankie is darling in these. I guess I still have vanity in me, I still like to look decent but it's less of a priority than when I was younger. Honestly they're pretty unflattering and I'm being well me and I am a little vain or maybe vain isnt the right word but self conscious and still care about my appearance and trying to care less lol.


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## frlsgirl

I'm glad you found your ying to your yang - she's clearly a perfect fit for you.


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## PoptartShop

Ahhh those pictures are so adorable!  You are definitely Frankie's 'person'. LOL so cute!  Look at those teeth, she's cheesing so hard with you!

Really glad Saturday is doing well too!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- thank you. She's my girlie. We just suit each other I think. Plus she's giving me abs :lol:
_____________

Allison- Thank you and how could you tell :lol: she throw a little temper tantrum when she sees me pay attention to other horses. She is NOT okay with that. And yes she's a weirdo. I'm a weirdo too though, so we fit each other. ''

And he's a good kid.
_____________

Today was mostly homework and was at school for 11 hours so Im thoroughly exhausted :lol: my cat may have woke me up at 0430 and I didnt really go back to sleep. 

My Professor tried to convince me to stay in computer science but I think I want to be a HS math teacher. I want to feel like I have a purpose everyday and I want to help people. And actually make a difference in someone's life, rather than just doing a job and feeling like it holds not value for me.

I may actually go to DC later this year to visit a friend I haven't seen in a few years (I met him in the Marine Corps) and I'm really quite excited about it. I'm kinda nervous because it unravels a big ball of yarn that I'm not sure how to navigate through but at the same time of anybody I know, he's honestly one of the few men I trust. He's a really good-genuine person and pretty honest, straight forward. Not nice in a can't tell the truth because they lack the courage way but not unreasonable or a jerk, has been in leadership roles, etc. I have never seen inconsistency in his character. So I'm excited and nervous because with this stuff is when you can really tell I'm autistic because I literally can't "read between the lines" I can analytically break down problems and deduce conclusions or rationalize based off of experience but I don't get things. I used to be described as a genius with no common sense :lol: I had a girl explain me to our superior as she's probably the smartest person I've ever met, she just has no common sense. I don't know that I'm that smart but my wiring is screwy when it comes to basic, innate things that seem to come naturally to other people. I'm okay when I'm directly told and made to understand but otherwise I'm a little absent minded and dense when it comes to minor social cues and social expectations. I can learn and adapt but I don't just know until I'm taught. And I don't know, this friendship-possibly more stuff confuses the heck out of me. But what I do know is he made time for me when I was going through some bad stuff and never gave up on me when I wanted to give up on myself and he's a very intelligent person and he's nice but has a backbone. Definitely not overly sensitive. He can do things with computers Im like okay WAY over my head. And IDK. I dont know how I feel, what I want or any of that stuff. And it might not go down that road at all and that be okay but I'm neurotic and analytical and I like him a lot, we always have good talks/discussion but I don't know. I feel like a child when it comes to this area. I'm confused, I like him but Im scared of that road, just because of what's been done to me in the past and how long it took to heal/recover and Im still "screwed up" even though for the most part Im fine but I think when you've had intense psychological, physical, emotional, etc trauma it really does something to you that you can't just rationalize through. I don't know how to explain, just a deep internal sense of fear, anxiety, tension, and stress for no reason. I've known him for a few years and he's never bee inappropriate, rude or condescending. He's one of those that's a very nice person but when push comes to shove he's a motivated individual who gets things done and gets them worked out. Not a coward. Ive worked with him before but it's been a LONG time.


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## PoptartShop

Going to DC sounds like a good time.  I would! Just see how it goes, exactly. No pressure or anything of the sort. Just have a good time, enjoy each other's company. He sounds like a nice guy.
Plus you will get to catch-up & you'll have plenty to talk about, the conversation won't get boring!! Being a math teacher will also be a good thing- go with your gut! & like I said before, we need more teachers like you who actually want to help & will break down things. Math was never my strong suit, but it always helped when I had a good teacher/prof. Made things easier for me in a way I could understand. I'm sure you are super exhausted! You need to relax this weekend! All that schoolwork is probably draining you!


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## Tihannah

You should definitely go and have fun! But don't put too much thought into it. Just go and have fun and enjoy his company, whether as friends or something more. I visited D.C. last year in October and it was fun and there was lots to see and do. And its always good to get away and just enjoy yourself. He sounds like a great person.


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## whisperbaby22

We all have our insecurities and quirks. I lived most of my life with total strangers (and family members) constantly telling me how rude I was. No one thought to try to discover why I acted the way I did. I myself did not find out about it until I was nearly 40. However, you are very young. And it is normal to be concerned, worried, etc. There is no "normal" in us. Only generalizations. Everybody we meet has their own demons. On the horsey side, really enjoy your writing. You should start writing a book.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- I suppose so. Im trying not to put too much thought into it because I have no idea what's going to happen but I think it'll be nice/fun to visit him and spend time with him and touring DC. He's taking leave, so it'll be fun to explore! And he is a really good person. He likes to explore and adventure and see new things, so I think it'll be fun!

But thank you! I am exhausted lol. Drained and I have a two tests next week, a programming project due in 2 weeks and a computer lab to work on. SO LOTS AND LOTS of HW. But thank you. That's really why I want to teach math. It made a HUGE difference for me to have a good math teacher vs a [email protected] one who is too arrogant and stuck on their high horse to make an effort and writes students off as stupid if they don't learn how they do. Ive dropped a math course because of a Professor like that, I flat out couldn't learn from him and wasnt going to fail because he sucked as teaching (his reviews on rate my professor, following the class were similar to what I said) cant teach, so if you don't learn innately you will fail this class. A lot of math teachers are innately good at math but dont really understand the process of what they can do and consequently can't break it down for students and blame the student for their short fallings. Some students just dont try but there are a lot of ones that do. I really think it'd change someone's life to understand math and find they actually enjoy it when taught the process vs just told to do it.
______________

Tina- Thank you. We'll see. Im me so I can't help the over thinking. I have to be prepared and have a game plan prior to or I wont know how to behave. I'm very awkward, so if I train for what to expect Im okay but otherwise Im like uh...how would a normal person respond? How am I suppose to respond? It's a little robotic because my brain works something like a computer program with a lot of random variables :lol:

But I think it'll be fun!
______________

whisperbaby22- Thank you. I've been told a few times to write a book but I don't have the attention span to carry out a train of thought from chapter to chapter. It'd be really draining. While I receive good marks on my papers, it takes me a lot of time because there are too many variables to break up in papers and trying to explain my thinking pattern in a line of logic is very time consuming/hard because I see things in terms of interconnecting patterns and chains that lead up to something. So Im always explaining sensations or loops in thought process.

Thought processes and the mind is so complicated. I think sometimes it's hard for people to understand not everyone is wired the same and what may be seen as thoughtless, careless or rude to the person isn't at all. It's hard to predict interpretation.
_______________

Update

I rode Frankie last night but she just didn't feel comfortable in the saddle. It's just too wide. I felt it rock from side to side and back to front, it's pretty minimal but Im VERY sensitive/neurotic, so I understand why Frankie was a little naughty/unresponsive. We didn't do a whole lot with her because I think she'll pick up bad habits from pushing too much in a saddle that is uncomfortable for her. We did some big trot, little trot or lengthening-shortening where basically just my post and leg send her forward and tightening my core brings the shortening and release the core engages the lengthening which Frankie figured out very quickly, We all did some leg yield both ways from quarter line. The leg yields werent perfect but they were quite good. She's getting the concept a lot better. We did a serpentine and with how the saddle fits she couldn't turn her left shoulder well which is part of why we didn't do much with her. It felt like the saddle wouldn't let her turn her shoulder and it came up over her wither. I felt so bad. I eventually halted and Mari and I agreed let's stop after the warm up. She's being fitted for a saddle today. MW trilogy verago standard flap 18in. 

We also had a good training discussion because she's doing a judges program about use of the back and riding for throughness, correct bend, actual collection, etc and how the back changes so much in correctly developed dressage horses and how we have so many saddle problems or struggle with fit so much because the horses are constantly changing shape as their training continues. And how a lot of other barns don't have that problem because their horses ride hollow and change very little from 1st level to PSG which is sad. I knew a classically trained PRE who had no real top line because they don't really ride for throughness. It was an interesting discussion. Also saddles and more on how big of an impact they have on horse behavior and their ability to use themselves well.

I also need to hunt for Saturday a saddle that fits him and he actually likes. I think he actually prefers the foam panels and prefers a saddle that doesn't sit over his back the way a typical dressage saddle does. I think he needs something more "jumping" built but even on his back. He likes the antares the best which feels and is constructed like a jump saddle. But Im playing around with saddles to find something he likes. And he's narrower than he appears. I suspect he's a MW-W and not so wide as it easy to think he is. Too wide and it comes onto their shoulder and doesn't sit at the right angle on their back, even with shims. Some horses are very sensitive. Saturday started pulling out his old box of tricks in the wintec (I hate the saddle too), so we're trying other things because as quirky as he is. I can't exactly say right now to market him, until more of the issues are resolved and he's further along in training. He takes a lot to ride and negotiate.

I forgot to mention, I sticked Frankie. She is 16.2 1/2h or a little under but 16.2 1/2h atm with the stick (I found the measuring stick). I honestly wish we'd switch to using cm for measuring horses vs hands because it's a LOT more accurate. She's about 167-168cm. Im 169-170cm tall


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## Zexious

That's too bad about the ride--even the best of us have off days  But at least you were able to have a helpful/good conversation about training, after. 

Frankie is such a stunner <3 I don't find her impressive height surprising at all, she looks every bit of it!
Best of luck with your saddle hunt!

I love how silly Frankie is <3 Keep the pictures coming!


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## whisperbaby22

I suggested a book because you do write very well. You have the knack of writing as if you were speaking, and since your punctuation is proper, what you say rarely gets taken out of context. This is something you might think of doing when you are older. You might just do something like this journal, a mixture of horsey stuff and your personal insights, or a math book after you have taught for 20 years. Something to keep in the back of your mind.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Zexious- thank you. She's my kid. She has a fun personality. 

But I enjoy my discussions with Mari, I learn a lot when from our discussions. I love learning new information or new concepts or ideas or different ways to think about something.
____________

whisperbaby22- Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm not sure it's something I'll eventually pursue but it's possible in years to come. I hope my writing will improve or at least my processing and ability to articulate my ideas. I want to be able to break things down more effectively but also in a way that is simpler and more straight forward but still complete.
____________

Update-

I sticked Saturday today and was shocked, I thought he was between 16 and 16.1h but he's 16.1 1/2h, almost 16.2h. I was really surprised. He's a big boy. He's taller than his sire. His dam was only 15.1h. Height doesn't matter all that much to me but it's still interesting to see how these guys have matured.

Frankie was measured for her saddle today, so hopefully we will have something come for her sooner rather than later. Im also setting up an appointment for her to see the chiropractor and Ive decided not to ride her again until she's adjusted. She didn't look comfortable when I lunged her on the lungeline her range of motion in her hip isnt right. She doesn't look lame but her mechanics are off. She needs to see the chiropractor.

Saturday was also fabulous!! I'm SO SO proud of him. Today was an incredible ride, he used his back by far the best he's been so far. I found a pad Im using with the wintec saddle. It's SUPER thick but Saturday is happier and using his back so much more completely. He's been really good. However he did not want to pick up the canter, no matter what I did. So I got off lunged him, made him canter both ways, got back on and we cantered. He did a mini rear when I made him canter left but I suspect he needs to see the chiropractor too. I gave him a massage and tried to get him to lift the front part of his wither and he couldnt. So I suspect he needs an adjustment too.

Had an AMAZING conversation with one of my good friends about saddles fit, conformation of riders and horses, and observations of saddle fit and how to tell a saddle isn't really a good fit for a rider or not. It was great! A lot of ideas, concepts and perspectives that had never occurred to me before. Her background is mathematics and saddle fit and analytical mind was very enlightening. It makes me so excited to learn. We talked a bit about my conformation and how that relates to how I ride and then some examples of others riders and their conformation as a part of how they ride. For example I'm very leggy but short in the torso with quite a long femur with a curved back but my center of balance is straight, when I walk it's through my hips, there is a lot of natural swing which is part of why I'm prone to all the injuries I have. But with my riding my short torso makes it easier for me to control my upperbody and position. With a longer torso it takes more strength to control it. A long leg is good to allow me to engage with the horse and give me more leg to influence and kind of anchor down and being built is a center of balance is part of why I tend to stick on through things most riders cant. And even though my pelvis is slightly tilted with a curved spine the curved spine actually allow for suppleness in flexibility, especially in the canter. It's interesting. It takes a lot more core strength to "sit quiet" because my spine is so flexible but people with straighter back have an easier time sitting trot but a hard time canter. The straighter spine usually appear quieter but it's not necessarily better because the curved spine allow for more range of motion and flexibility to allow for bigger, more extravagant movement (Charlotte Dujardin has a curved spine). 

Then with conformation we looked at a few different horses and explained why one's movement never really improves regardless of who rides him or how developed he is vs some of the others like say Frankie or a Dante where quality of rider/riding makes a HUGE difference in their quality of movement. And it deals with conformation and spine, the horses with a very flat, inflexible back where they don't round over the back to any extent will be smoother but they wont get the increased quality of motion or movement. For example Frankie is not smooth, she has a TON of motion vs the horse with a straighter spine that doesn't round it to the extent of Frankie for example is why his improvement of movement is so minimal regardless of whose riding him or how much training/muscle development he has. The gelding mentioned is very smooth but he doesn't have the mechanics to really increase his quality of gaits and it's because of his spine. 

A bunch of other stuff too that was super fascinating. It was amazing!

Frankie and pictures of Saturday from today. Except the riding pictures are from weeks ago but Im not sure if I had posted them or not.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I almost had an anxiety attack today but kept it together. Little girl fell off of Bailey today and I have HORRIBLE Catholic guilt. I am NOT Catholic but Im one of those people who even when I'm innocent, I feel incredibly guilty. Even if I had no control of the situation or couldn't control what happened, I still feel responsible. I can't help it and get obsessive with what I could have done differently. She's okay but I felt so bad. 

Had a rough ride on Saturday. I think it'll be a lot better when he's able to see the chiropractor and we can find a better saddle for him. It's tricky to find a saddle for him because his back is fairly flat but it is like a table top while his wither is relatively narrow and he doesn't like anything that sits into his wither. It's frustrating. The wintec isn't a good fit for me or him. Im trying to see if I can find something better to use. He's just an odd shape. He's hard to fit and he's not getting a saddle of his own.

I didn't do much with Frankie. She was eating when I saw her and didn't want much to do with me lol oh well. Saturday got a bath. he seemed happy to be cleaned up. I need to clean up Frankie, it should be warm this week so she'll get cleaned up too.

Ive decided not to ride Saturday or Frankie until they've seen the chiropractor. Frankie's measurements were taken so hopefully we'll have a saddle for her sent out asap. I'd love if it could fit both Frankie and Saturday but I doubt it. Saturday is WAY wider than Frankie. Frankie is surprisingly more narrow than she looks. I don't think she'll ever be particularly wide because she's as uphill as she is and when she lifts threw her back and comes over her top line she doesnt drive on the forehand, she pushes from behind and lifts up at a different point in her back then Dev. It's hard to explain but interesting.

I was also told the reason one of my trainers had been so hard on me is probably because she sees the potential in me and wants to push me to the next level. But it works best with me to send me down a direction and give me education, tell me what I need to do and I'll do it. I don't need a ton of encouragement but shutting me down doesnt work either. Im a perfectionist with drive.


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## PoptartShop

Yeah, once they see the chiro/get a simple adjustment they should be back in full swing again.  I need to see the chiro myself, can't wait until tomorrow. So achy no idea why.

Oh no, I'm glad she's OK!  I understand what you mean about the feeling guilty part. I get like that too. 
Glad you took measurements for a saddle, I hope you get one soon.  Would be great! A good-fitting saddle makes all the difference. Fingers crossed.
Love the pictures as always. They're so cute. Saturday really is such a big boy too.
More to love! :lol:
Let us know how the chiro goes & I'm sure Frankie will look so darn cute & shiny when she's all cleaned up!


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## frlsgirl

Oh dear, I wonder who was more traumatized by the fall, you or the little girl? As a fellow intuitive over-thinker, I know the agony of conversations that must have started in your head. I sometimes start arguments with myself that go on for so long that I can't remember why I started that argument in the first place.

Hope you can get saddle fit figured out; it makes such a difference in your position, ability to give aids and of course the horses comfort and perception of aids.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- I sure hope so! I need to go too and I hope you get to go soon! It makes such a big difference!

Thank you. I'm SO relieved she's okay but not it makes me super nervous and I hope she hasn't lost too much confidence. She was doing so well! I feel so bad :-( Im just glad she's okay. She's a great kid!

I am too. Im really eager to have my own saddle and to have Frankie totally in her own equipment. Im back to square one on saddle hunting for Saturday. Still having to find something in the barn he'd like. The wintec is no good for either of us. I HATE riding in the wintec. It's not awful-awful but not good either.

And he is. I was shocked he's as tall as he is. I thought he was 16-16.1h. He's a very powerful horse. I actually think he rides more powerful than Frankie. He's more of a suspension mover and thrust mover, so lots of back movement. He's actually really bouncy when he really uses his back. I think he's going to be Dante bouncy. Because when he has impulsion good lord, I had a hard time riding even the posting trot it was so much. I rode it fine, it just wore me out! Like a catapult every stride. I only got that trot for a little bit but man it's a sneak peak at what's to come. 
_______________

Tanja- at this point IDK because I kept waking up in the middle of the night overthinking. And I know you're a similar personality type, so you get it. I just want to look after her because I care a lot about her and I know I can't control everything that happens but for some reason my head seems to think I can. It's ridiculous the amount of [email protected] that goes threw our minds sometimes that drive us crazy no matter how hard we try to shut it off. It's like a leaky faucet! 

I hope so too! It makes a HUGE difference to have something that fits correctly. When Frankie is in something too narrow it feels like she's manuvering away from using her back and very crooked, too wide and she feels like she cant figure out her balance and it takes a lot to center her.
_______________

Update

Honestly not much of an update but some pics of Saturday on Sunday lol. It was an interesting ride. I'm thinking about riding him bareback at this point because I can't find a saddle he's happy in.

We had great moments but overall it was a rough ride with Saturday reverting to some old habits. I think he needs chiropractor and a saddle he actually likes. Everything keeps coming over his shoulder.


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## Dehda01

Anatomic girths and point billets have been key to most of my half-arabs. They often have a very forward girth groove which pulls the saddle forward. You often can rig wintecs to have a point billet. All of my HA have needed wides or a hoop tree, though my big HA currently really likes his wintec Isabel.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Unfortunately I've tried that, it didn't work. I've tried a few different anatomical girths. I have a total saddle fit girth. I may ask one of the boarders if I can try her girth because she has a total saddle fit girth but it has the neoprene and stretch and that one I haven't tried.

I dont know that we have any saddle here with a hoop tree and he's not my horse, so I cant buy him a saddle. If I had all the money in the world I would but 

We have another half arab at the barn that fits the wintec well but I think he's wider than Saturday or at least has more slope to his wither. He's an odd shape. Very wide through the back, like a table top and wide threw the wither but narrower threw his wither than his back, I've tried pads/shims but they all come over his shoulder. I may ask my saddle fitter friend what ideas she has to make Saturday comfortable, she mentioned she may have some saddles that may fit him. He seems to prefer the design of a jumping saddle tree over a dressage tree which seem to sit more over the back. I may try a few cwds and see if he likes those. I cant use the antares because it blocks him from coming up in his back and the wintec comes over his wither and puts me in a compromised position.

No real update. TONS of HW on my plate but I'm getting computer science and programming a lot better. I got a 91% on my last test which was TOUGH and a 96% on my literature test (yay). I've been making an effort to learn more about makeup, so I can apply it better. I have somewhat hooded eyes, so figuring out what to do with that helps. I usually don't like putting on makeup but I find it's a useful skill and kinda fun from an artistic point of view.

I lunged Friday yesterday and he was full of himself. I haven't done anything with him since he dumped me and he was an idiot, galloped behind a horse and got kicked :/ he was a nut, took a lot to keep him under control and not takes off bucking. Had to stop him early because he was so wound up. He's a somewhat hot horse, he's very-very sensitive and hyper reactive but without the anxiety or tension. He's like a relaxed high strung horse which honestly I ride super sensitive better than somewhat sensitive.


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## PoptartShop

I am going today after work thank goodness!  
Right, you need something better than a Wintec. I hope it goes well Saturday & you have good luck with your search for Saturday's saddle. Haha I love his name. *crosses fingers*! So glad you got to ride outside, beautiful sunny day it looks like. Riding Saturday on a SUNDAY! LOL. :lol:
Yeah, it sounds like he could use the chiro if he's acting funky like that, plus he needs a new saddle so I'm sure it's a number of things.  Ah! Maybe riding him bareback sounds like a plan too, wonder how he will act!!  I'm glad you did have some great moments during the ride though. 
Friday needs to get it together!  Awwww. He will be ok in time! Glad you didn't ride him at least, you probably wouldn't gotten thrown again since he was being full of himself.
Congrats on those awesome test scores!!! You go girl.  *cheers* That's GREAT!  I hope you get your homework done, sure there's a lot.


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## Dehda01

Hmm. Straight through the back and more a shape wither usually fits wintecs. Have you played with changing the billet setup?


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## frlsgirl

I really like the outdoor pics! Frame worthy! Look at his tail! Does it swish it a lot and stick it out when you ride him? I've heard that's an Arab trait, but then again some horses are just tail talkers.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Good luck. I hope it goes well and you feel better!

I really want him to be called Raphael because it's apart of his registered name because he only was called Saturday because that was the day he was born on and I hated it, even then lol. I like Raphael because I think of the arch angel but *Shrugs* I guess Saturday is cute.

We're going to try Frankie's new saddle on him and I'm HOPING that will fit him! I'm not riding him until he sees the chiropractor, same with Frankie and I'm hoping the saddle will arrive soon, maybe by Friday or Saturday. 

I'm glad I didn't have to ride Friday either. I really wasnt in the mood with so much studying and things to work on but he did get a bath. He was FILTHY, disgusting. His mane was almost gray. So I couldn't not give him a bath.

But thank you. Im trying to get it together and keep getting good grades. It's hard for me to focus and stay on task. It takes a lot for me. I can focus with a purpose but not just do to do. My attention span is fairly short.
_____________

Dehda- I think the panel angle is wrong for him, so it tends to slide up because he's narrower through his wither. I don't want to play with the saddle too much because it isn't mine and it's owner uses it regularly on her horse.
_____________

Tanja- Thank you, I dont get to ride outside a whole lot but it's nice when I can. And yes he has a fabulous tail. It's very full and I'm not sure. He has a higher set tail and sometimes holds it higher. He doesn't swish it a whole lot, Dante was more of a tail swisher than Saturday but some horses are tail swishers. 
_____________

Update

REALLY busy and under a lot of stress atm but I needed to take a break. 

I bought Frankie's new saddle. It should be here within the next week and I'm really upset about spending all the money but it's the right one for us. It just makes me sick, I'm from a German-Russian family spending a lot of money at once is hard for me to justify. 

I had a pretty strange dream last night. Super odd. In the dream I fell from a high place and hit the ground and everything went black but I was still mindful or conscious. It was super odd. It scared me.

Just a lot on my plate atm and stuff to work out but here we go, that's life and that's just how it goes. No horses today, hectic day.


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## whisperbaby22

Dreams are odd. I suppose the some psychologist could go crazy on it, but I think they are just dreams. When they are bad, I'm always glad when I wake up!


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## frlsgirl

If it makes you feel any better, the purchase price of Ana's saddle exceeded Ana's purchase price. It is sickening that you have to spend a small fortune to get a decent saddle that fits both you and your horse.


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## PoptartShop

Glad you did get a new saddle for Frankie, I'm sure it was expensive but as long as it fits and is right then that's all that matters. It will be worth it, and a good investment. I know what you mean though. That has to be stressful. 
That is a super weird dream, I have them sometimes too. Like...why the heck did I dream that???? I hope you have a better day today! You need a horsey hug!


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbay22- I agree for the most part! I believe they can indicate stress or things that are bothering us or we fear but I don't generally think they mean as much as theyre accredited to mean.
_____________________________

Tanja- it kinda helps lol. Ive comes to terms with it now, so now Im actually excited but I entirely agree. It's ridiculous how expensive a good saddle is! I get why, it's just a lot of money!
_____________________________

Allison- It is stressful, it's a LOT of money but I think it's for the best because I'm getting a good saddle that Im hoping is as good as the other veragos I've tried. Every saddle is a little different because theyre hand-made but we'll see. My fingers are crossed. A part of me would have liked to have had a custom made saddle with customized color piping but then that's a 3-4month wait and then if I don't love it, I can't return it. I'd have loved colored piping.

lol pretty much, dreams are odd things. I had a dream once about going on a long trail ride through the wilderness and the ocean with old event horse. I had gone on a trail ride that was up in the mountains and then went down to the beach with him when I lived in Oregon and waking up from that dream was depressing. He was an awesome trail horse. Id love to take Frankie out on some trails.
_____________________________

I've been incredibly stressed out and sleep deprived for a few days. Long nights and early mornings, so I didn't get to see Frankie from Monday to Friday which was hard on me but I couldn't justify taking hours out to visit her. I ended up putting WAY too much into my program and it didn't even run which was SO SO frustrating. I have another program to work on and I'm going to be asking for help on it. Im hoping my Professor isn't too frustrated with me for struggling but I think Computer Science is too ambiguous for me and I need a lot more structure because otherwise my brain goes too far and too wide and has a hard time isolating the necessary and making it function. It's too much for me.

Also read my personality profile some more. Im definitely an INTP. Definitely. Just not sure how accurate the test on 16 personalities is because every time I take it, it has a different result.

https://www.16personalities.com/intp-strengths-and-weaknesses

New saddle is on it's way. I'm starting to get really excited because it's my first new saddle I've ever bought. So that's pretty neat. It's my favorite saddle I've ever ridden in to be honest. I LOVE the trilogy verago. For me it's just right. I also tried one on Saturday and he actually goes a lot better in that saddle than the other ones I've tried, it's still a smidge too wide so MAYBE my saddle will work for him when it arrives. It felt SO SO much better riding him in the verago, I can't even describe the difference. My leg just naturally hung below me without me having to hold myself so much or having to fight the saddle to be in balance. The wintec I HATE because I didn't feel like I could keep my leg or find my proper point of balance in it. Where as the verago just puts me in my line of balance without force, it's easy to move. It's really just my saddle. I've ridden in such a large variety of saddles, CWD, custom, schlese, wintec, bates, antares, hermes, devacoux, amerigo, albion, kieffer, stubben, passier, county, verhan, JRD, kent and masters, toulouse, Frank Baines, and I dont know what else but a lot lol so Im pretty picky. 

Mari and I were having this discussion as the more you learn/know, the pickier you become about saddles because you notice more. I know as a beginner I really wasn't aware of how important saddle fit was or how different saddles affected my position. For example I HATE schlese, I've never ridden in a schlese I liked because it locks my hips up so much but the people I find who like them are AA who like the feeling of security and don't care that they're "Strapped in." I also hate custom, I've never ridden in one I liked they all put me behind the motion, rocked to the back of my seat and bracing against the blocks with my thighs. You cant ride in a point of balance. I also dont like my trainer's trilogy amadeo, I have a curved spine with a butt, so it tips me on my crotch and puts pressure on my degenerative disks (basically feels like pressure on a pinched nerve that cant make your eyes water) and so much pressure between my shoulder blades it's hard for me to breathe. The wintec I dont like because I have to fight the saddle so much to have a quietish leg and find my point of balance. Like I said I'm picky and also because my conformation is somewhat unusual. Long leg, long femur, straightish/round hips, rounded bottom (which does have an affect on position) and a pretty curved back but I'm built in a line of balance. This was part of the talk with Mandy (saddles fitter trained in UK, certified, continues apprenticeship) about people and their different conformations. Because of her I know it means something to be trained and approved by the society of master saddlers. 

I'm also watching a documentary on the domestic cat with my grey cat Athena laying by me. Anytime I get up, she follows me then I sit down to work on my programming and there she comes to lay on me or at my side. Yeah I'm a cat lady. I have dogs too but I strongly prefer cats, I usually put it as I LOVE cats but I like dogs. 

I finally saw Frankie for the first time since Monday yesterday. It meant a lot to me to see her and apparently she missed me too!! I lunged her, I'm not riding her until her new saddles arrives. She had a rotated pelvis, a rib out and something in her neck, so a decent amount and Saturday had a rib and spot in his withers out. Chiropractor straightened that out, so my hope is they feel better. Though I did ride Saturday yesterday and tried the trilogy verago I had been borrowing. It's a little too big for Saturday but he's a much happier horse in that saddle than the wintec or antares.

And yes she took my hair out of the braid and messed with my hair. She's a loveable little odd ball.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I lunged Friday, Saturday who we are officially now calling Raphael (part of registered name) and it makes me so happy that he's actually going by a real name. And Frankie.

I did a lot of in hand work with Friday and Saturday as well which was SO helpful in teaching them concepts about engaging their hocks, connect to the outside rein, bend threw the shoulders, rib cage and whole body. Really changed their way of going and reinforced the concept of how important good posture and developing good mechanics really is and I think that's a big part of training people are lacking-the details. I'll say I'm constantly learning new details to pay attention to and new things to address earlier and earlier before it becomes something to address later. Like riding up and using uphill balance to achieve balance. I feel like I create the movement really in my core and landing as lightly as I possibly can on their back and I'm constantly working on sitting lighter and lighter but still keeping depth and connection. There is other stuff Im working on and developing too but hard to explain because it's not as much in what you're mechanically doing but in the feeling, recognition, timing and realizing what to pay attention to more and more, details, details, details and ALWAYS expanding on them. ALWAYS ALWAYS expanding on understanding, feel and how to develop better quality gait, mechanics, posture, effective position, etc. It's really neat. I love learning, growing, expanding and developing a fuller understanding of concepts.

For example from a lengthening to a collected trot, I more so open my hips, take longer posts, send with my leg and organize the balance up with my core then for collection, I tighten my core, more so the side and organize a smaller trot, same in canter. I don't allow my hip to take off with the motion but sometimes will slightly arch my back so my hips is less supple and hold my core so my hips arent so supple. Downward transitions, I arch my back and hold myself still and have found the horse's pick up and understand that very quickly. It really gets a lot of lift.

It also made me realize different training/riding styles have a different concept of what sitting "deep" is. I'm trained more so in the British system than anything else. But to me sitting deep isnt' about reclining onto the back of your seat bones but to sit in balance and move with the horse and developing them to be in balance and improve their posture, balance, rhythm and way of going to make them stronger, sounder, and more supple, flexible and able. I think that's where the appreciation is often missed in good dressage riding. Ive seen horses who look irregular or lame without regular work become sounder and more able with good training. I've also seen bad riding/training cripple and psychologically damage/shut down horses. I am proud of have done as much rehab physical and psychologically, as well as having re-trained OTTBs and horses from other barns where the training isn't as complete.

Saturday is narrowing threw the withers so I think that's a good sign in his muscular development, he's building more muscle behind and in his neck, which to me shows he's carrying himself more uphill. Horses that pull on the shoulder or downhill tend to build a wider wither but when they sit and carry from behind they build more behind the saddle, over the hind end and develop a thicker muscle as the base of their neck that's like a triangle. I wish I had a picture to show a well defined picture of it and Saturday still has a long way to go in development to have that deep-defined triangle of the trapezius muscle and it's like the trapezius muscle in the wither develops lean muscle. It's hard to explain but I wish I had good pictures to show the muscle development of an upper level horse.

Frankie is a complete dork but I didn't do much with her. I touched on in hand work a little bit but not like with the boys because Frankie is 3 and mentally still quite immature and doesn't understand what the boys do. Plus she doesn't have their confidence and self assurance. So it was more like here Frankie if I take the inside rein give in your shoulder and rib cage and leg yield out (I did this with the body too but I had a steeper angle, it really helps with bend, it's like put consistent pressure ask them to step out and bend, release, and make it a clear black/white concept then I also take both reins and develop the concept of passagey trot or collection with whip and hand and clicking. So then all I do is click and half halt and they understand vs tapping them behind because what I do isn't tap-tap-tap but in the rhythm ask them to come back as much as they can 3-4 steps and send forward, come back a few steps and send forward. It really changes their posture and really makes them engage their hocks, use their back better and really take the contact, rather then being too dainty and light that they don't really take the bit. I didn't do that part with Frankie she's not there yet. Just leg yield, bend, and shoulder in with Frankie in hand. And with Frankie it's more like get the idea, practice 3 times and move on. Vs the boy it's improving their degree of lateral submission and bend. They also did turns on the forehand which really helped with the outside rein connection and leg yielding out. It also helps with bend. All the basic exercises when ridden well and paid attention to detail improve the way of going, posture and general mechanics. I can really see it in the transitions, hocks and use of neck. 

Also Aretha Franklin because she's amazing











Saturday lunging last night after some in hand work. His mechanics and posture has improved SO SO much. He moves SO SO much better undersaddle then on then on the lungeline but I think lunging is important, as well as in hand work to make clear cut examples of basics and address problems from the ground and so the horse can understand and develop the coordination without worrying about a rider. Depending on the horses or situation issue are better addressed undersaddle then on the ground but lunging and in hand work can be good supplementary work when done well. For example Saturday is SO SO much better about the contact and how to use his neck and back then I started, riding made the biggest difference with that as well as teaching him how to connect into the outside rein and off of position and I was able to improve bend, rhythm, and introduce lengthening from the ground while improving shoulder in and laterals with in hand work.

On Friday I also did more developing haunches in and expecting a bit more bend. He's getting it but it's not a developed or confirmed haunches in, just an introduction to the concept. He goes much better undersaddle but he's been having an attitude lately, so I thought I'd address the attitude from the ground before getting back on. I did not ride yesterday but will today. Would like to get video but that seems unlikely. But I Hope so because he's a lot happier now.

I lunged him in the Antares.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Darn. I forgot to add the last videos were in the wintec which again I HATE that saddle. I felt like I was everywhere in that saddle trying to keep at center. Saturday didnt' like it because it kept riding up his shoulders, so it was just a bad saddle for us. He likes the trilogy a lot better and it was like a breath of fresh air to sit in the trilogy on him vs the wintec. I didn't have to fight to keep a position or in balance. I think a big part is the stirrup bar location and it just feel like it almost bounces off his back. Just not a good fit for us. He didn't really want to turn, it was hard to steer and correct his shoulder but oh well. Wasnt a good ride but had good moments. 

But the canter video and note he saw the chiropractor after this and has been a LOT better. And if I bent him left that day he'd just slam on the brakes and rear up, so had to be careful. But oh well. When he's like that you cant just put your leg on, he'll rear but if you can turn him and get his legs moving he'll go forward and to me was I dont want him to learn he can just slam on the brakes and say no. Chiropractor helped a lot and switching saddles.


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## PoptartShop

Loving all the pictures. Soooo adorable. :smile: Glad you got to work with them, sounds like everyone is doing great. 
Raphael is a nice name, I will have to remember to call him that LOL. 

The chiro really does help. Makes such a big difference.
They are so photogenic!!! <3


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## DanteDressageNerd

And thank you Allison lol. The chiropractor makes a big difference! They're doing pretty well atm. Would like to ride Frankie soonish lol but waiting on the saddle to come. But I prefer Raphael to Saturday as well. It's a real name, not a well I couldn't figure out a name for you but you were born on a Saturday.

I rode Friday and Raphael (Saturday). 

Friday was HOT, it was awesome to ride! He was hot but reasonable and we ended up having a good ride. He's SO fat it's making a wide too narrow! He's more of a forehand mover but he's really nice when he picks himself up. I haven't ridden him in a while (he's been off since he was kicked and before that we put like a week on him) but he was fun. He's very sassy and sensitive. MUCH more marish than Frankie to ride lol. But he definitely wants to try to power through that left shoulder going right. Friday unfortunately has an ugly leg (check ligament surgery as a youngster, vet students wrapped too tightly so it's ugly). He's also 15.2h, so a little guy but very wide. But riding him made me realize how much I've improved since we last had him going. I can organize his balance so much more uphill and make him a lot straight which on him is REALLY hard. He's also pretty tricky in the contact lol. It reminds me of Dante HOW DARE YOU flex your fingers! lol he also has a tendency to get behind the bit, so worked a lot on keeping him out and to the contact and not letting him dive behind. I notice a lot of powerful, forehand movers are more prone to that. He's also very weak, so that's a big part of it too. Will be neat to see what he's like a month from now. Lots and lots of core and self awareness, I felt like if I made a wrong move or breathed wrong he'd rocket launch into space but he was good, did some big trot-little trot and developed a bit of impulsion, leg yield, etc. He has great laterals. His leg yields are very steep, so I rode him less steep. He insisted they need to be that steep and I was like no forward and over and not over, over, over. And when I say sit steep I literally positioned, so it was position on, off, on off. It's hard to explain but he's very sensitive and I LOVE riding him. I ride hot a lot better. Hot and reasonable is my favorite.

This is Friday from Oct











Also rode Raphael (Saturday), he was really good. He was the most through, over his back and uphill he's ever been. We tried a CWD saddle which is not my saddle lol. I don't mind it but it's designed up through the crotch in an odd way which I don't particularly like and can understand why a friend of mine said it gave her bruises in that area. Raphael is getting narrower through the withers, so I'm hoping my saddle will fit him. We worked more on laterals and developing a good shoulder in which is still in development but it immensely improved his way of going and made 12m circles quite easy on him. He gained a lot more confidence doing those circles. The plan is to start marketing him but I feel we still have a bit to go before we market him, I want to work through more of his quirks to make him more ridable and schooled.


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## frlsgirl

How did I get so far behind on your thread? Excited for you regarding the saddle. Once the shock of the price tag wears off at least it lets you look forward to having something that fits you both. Raphael sounds so fancy, and a lot less confusing when you tell stories like riding Saturday on Saturday. Looks like you're getting a lot of time in the saddle even though it's not exactly your saddle or the ideal fit; it will make you appreciate your new saddle so much more.


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## PoptartShop

Raphael is better than Saturday, much classier too. 
Really good videos. Half-halting is the story of my life with Redz haha. :lol: Looking really good though. I must say, you have such a nice relaxing seat!!! I need to get like that!


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## Tihannah

Yayyy on a new saddle! Wish I could buy new, but I think I'm far too impatient. I hear some places take months to get a new saddle out. I watched that video of Saturday going up. Great seat! lol. Do you feel it coming when he decides to just throw a fit like that? 

I had a friend selling a Wintec last year and she offered to let me try it. I did not like it at all! It felt like there was just too much between me and the horse. I felt like I was sitting a foot above the horse's back and had no connection whatsoever. One of our younger boarders bought it because of the changeable gullet. Definitely not my kinda ride either. My friend Helen loves the Antares saddles and the designs. She's got someone coming from Equippe? saddlery tomorrow to fit her horse. They don't flock their saddles, only adjust so the fitter can't even work on other saddles. I like having something that can be adjusted in case the horse changes, but she really liked the way they design theirs.

The babies are looking so good! I can't imagine the work it must take to bring each of them along! Its got to be fun though! Be sure and post pics of Frankie in the new saddle!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I had a busy weekend or I guess a lot of thoughts to add to the journal lol. It definitely gives me more appreciation for the trilogy verago, it feels like a breath of fresh aid when I sit in the verago. I just hope my saddle is one I like because every trilogy is hand made and each one feels a little different, even thought they're "technically" supposed to be the same. It should be here Wednesday *Crosses fingers* and it will be my first ride on Frankie in 10 days.

But definitely! I like Raphael a lot better as a name for him. It suits him so much more.
_____________

Allison- It certainly is. I'm in favor of Raphael as a name too. 

Thank you. Lots and lots of core strength and practice and being reminded to land lighter and lighter and having a good trainer tell me to get it together helps a lot :lol:
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Tina- Thank you. Actually the new saddle is already made, if I had to wait 3-4months again I wouldn't do it but they have a few in the shop, so I'm getting one that's already made. I'd love to have custom ordered with custom piping but it's not worth the extra wait and it's not like I'd really look at it when Im riding lol. 

With Raphael (Saturday). I feel it coming but it's not really a thought it's more okay he's going to rear, gotta get his feet moving. He wasnt being nasty, I think he was just uncomfortable in that saddle and with having a rib out. I think that's why he was so tricky about his shoulder too. But he's going a lot better now, just want to get through those quirks before advertising!

Ive heard of Equippe, I haven't ridden in one but it's what Charlotte Dujardin is sponsored to ride in. I looked at one for Dante but never heard back from them and I dont really want a foam saddle. They're too expensive to get the panels changed if the horse changes shape and they're just not as adjustable or soft as the wool. And the antares are okay, I don't dislike them but this one at least doesn't have enough support for me to love them. It's like riding in a jumping saddle, I think eventers prefer them but if you ride something with huge powerful gaits, it's just not supportive enough. I really don't prefer it. It takes so much core strength but it's a great saddle in that it puts you in your point of balance. Just not enough support for me on Frankie. Frankie is a powerhouse and not particularly smooth. I rode in a saddle where I was practically falling off the back of the saddle in canter which was a horrible feeling. I told my trainer I just can't ride effectively in this.

But Im glad you didn't get the wintec, I don't like them hardly at all. The stirrups bars in the wrong place and the seat position puts you in an awkward spot. I'm just not a fan lol. I think they're a good starting saddle, they're not badly made. Just not good from a performance perspective. 

But thank you. The babies are a lot of work but it's very rewarding. I learn a lot every time because you learn better and better ways to introduce new concepts and develop them to progress and understand faster and faster. It makes you very self aware because they won't cover anything for you, they're very honest. The advantage is theyre a blank slate, so no previously learned evasions but it also gives a responsibility not to let them learn evasions and having to work through them trying to work out evasion and how to take contact and how to do things if that makes sense? It's a responsibility to give them a good start and education. 

Even with riding babies and developing over and over again you learn a LOT of new stuff every single time. Better ways to develop them, better ways to introduce concepts, better ways of using position and communicating/explaining to them. It always shocks me when people say they get bored riding babies, I just say they're not doing it right if they're bored or don't appreciate the opportunity to learn to do it well. There's producing a young horse to just get them threw and doing it well, most the people in my area don't do it well which is why I decided when I bought Frankie to break and develop my own. Plus I'm too poor to afford something nice with any kind of decent training. 
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Not a huge update but new saddle should be here Wednesday!! Hurrah!! My computer science programming project is due soon and my older kitty is sick, so she's going to the vet tomorrow. I worry about her, she's 9 but I've had her since she was 5wks old. She was orphaned. And my parents had her while I was gone...they made both of my cats SO SO fat. My other cat, Lyla is a rescue Pam picked up from the side of the road. But they're on holistic food now. I'm a cat Lady lol. 

I hate computer science, I'm so glad I've decided I don't want to be a computer scientist. I want to be a teacher, I want to be a math teacher but we'll see. Depends on what the pre-requisites are and what I can get a degree in sooner as I was a business admin/international studies major with a focus in economics, so maybe I can graduate sooner in a different field? And I really don't enjoy computer science.

Also cat pics with Lyla (rescue cat) from today because I was very stressed out and needed to make goofy faces. Feeling depression symptoms creeping on and Im very concerned I was heading into a depression episode. It wasnt a good feeling. I literally couldn't cope with socialization and being around people. It was one of those moments where I definitely have aspergers. It takes a lot out of me to socialize and sometimes I just cant cope because Im too emotional but not in a going to cry way but like my senses are so overloaded I'm on edge and on the verge of a meltdown which I cant control if that happens and comes from being over stimulated and stressed.


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## PoptartShop

Sooooo cute!  
Lyla is adorable. Animals are definitely really helpful when it comes to stress relief. Whenever I'm down, I hug Redz or cuddle with my guinea pigs! :lol:


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## frlsgirl

Hope your day looks brighter. Self imposed cardio has helped me feel better...and carbs, lol. Lyla is cute!


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## whisperbaby22

I think you're going to be stressed as long as you are in school. You have a lot on your plate right now, and it's going to be tough getting through it. But I did it, lots of people do it, and in the long run you are so much better off because you did do it. Take it from an old lady, the rewards down the road make up for a lot.


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## Zexious

How exciting about the upcoming arrival of your new saddle! Be sure to post pics when it arrives tomorrow!

What level of math do you want to teach?  

Sending good vibes to your 'under the weather' kitty! ):


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Aww I like pigs (guinea pigs) they're cute. A friend of mine has two but they are animals make such a big difference to have an animal to cuddle with and love on. 
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Tanja- Thank you. I've done quite a bit of cardio and exercises (my body is super sore) and my knees are incredibly painful. I think I'm back in the knee brace which is SO frustrating because it's going to get worse with time. I think the meds are helping a lot, so I don't go down the rabbit hole and have full depression.

And thank you. She's a good girl. Follows me around, I've been training her to come when she's called. It works sometimes lol.
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whisperbaby22- Thank you. I hope it all comes together. It always amazes me how where you start isn't how you end and a lot of the times the direction you never dreamed of or expected is far greater than what you previously imagined. 

I hope the stress of plays out for the best, I think when I'm done with computer science it will help a lot. It is not a subject I'm good at. It's not my thing, I process things in terms of patterns and recognizing the details of those patterns but programming is really SO literal but at the same SO SO ambiguous. It's strict and what should work doesn't always work and what shouldn't work sometimes work, so you're always wondering why it works or doesn't work. Just frustrating. 
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Zexious- Thank you. I'm really excited about the new saddle. I don't know when I'll be able to get pictures. I have a programming project due and that's taking a lot out of me. 

I want to be a HS teacher, so I'd like to teach through calculus and maybe some math theory. A friend of mine has her degree is mathematics and offered to tutor me if I need it. 

And thank you. She's okay, just a bladder infection. So she's on a round of antibiotics and hates her pills.
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Update

Some Raphael from last night. What's sad is this was about middle of our ride and after he had a breather, after the videos he went 10 times better. lol oh well. He felt like an inflexible runaway train. It was SO much to try to organize. I think with more time and training he's simply going to be phenomenal. He was SO SO SO much more movement in there and his trot feels like it really could be developed into an incredible trot. He has a great canter and his walk OMG finally showed itself. He has a great walk. It's very rhythmical, ground covering and he actually has a more rhythmical walk than Frankie. Frankie's walk is SO big, it'd be easy to mess up the rhythm of her walk. Horses with such huge walks are often easier to lose the pure rhythm/quality of the walk. He really went a lot better after the videos, he was bending, really forward, really coming over his back and it just felt night and day different but Im confident I'll be able to show that and hopefully better next time I get video of Raphael.

Raphael isn't an easy ride. He takes a lot. I was incredibly sore and hurting after riding Friday and Raphael.

Riding Friday really showed me just how much I've improved. I've come a long way since October-November. It also made me realize how much it takes to ride Frankie. Friday it felt effortless to ride a 3 loop serpentine, he has a lot of movement but he's 15.2h and more broke vs Frankie feels like a huge moving, frake train you're trying to prevent from running off the tracks. But Frankie is 3 and almost 16.3h and a MUCH more powerful mover. But Friday is tricky in his own ways, need very subtle aids or he flips his head and twists his body around and sucks up into himself vs confidently going forward. I made a mistake of using a touch too much of an aid with him and he was like NO NO NO. And when I first got on he tried flipping his head around and twisting his body and within the first short side he got over it because I was like no, just go. I have to be incredibly careful and mindful of my position. He naturally wants to travel very crooked, so to get straight and correct bend takes me being very mindful. It takes being a hair or a breath off to make him over react. 

I'm riding in the CWD which is an okay saddle. I don't hate it but I didn't realize how far back it was sending me. Not my favorite. I cant wait to try my new saddle on him. I think he'll like that one. I really wish I could continue developing Saturday over the next few years because I really think he could develop into something really special. He's come such a long way in two months, I can just imagine what he'll be like in a years time. I think he will look like a totally different horse 











Just to compare. Here is where we started






I also lunged Frankie and she's doing well. I really need to ride her but can't until the saddle is fitted to her. she just gets so unbalanced and has a hard time organizing her body from the ground. She has SO SO SO much movement, it's a matter of riding her balanced and confident to show it because on the line she's never balanced enough to give the movement from the ground what she does under saddle but Raphael is the same way. From the ground he's a very meh mover, undersaddle he's really quite fancy. Same with Frankie.

I'm in a lot of pain today, I think Im going to need to wear my knee brace because I almost fell down the stairs from my knee buckling and I had to grab the railing. Yeah...wasn't exactly a highlight. I'm an injured veteran :lol: I shouldn't laugh but the wear is very noticeable. I'm in my mid-late twenties with more crippling arthritis and degenerative issues than my parents who are almost 60 and were both very athletic. My mother was a competitive swimmer and my father played a variety of sports and also skied and lots of mountain hiking. I have more pain than either of my parents.


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## whisperbaby22

I started out with computers early on, and enjoyed it.  For me, a mouse is a new fangled thingamagig. One day I walked into a new computer class and the instructor was teaching "what do you THINK you are supposed to do to run the computer" instead of just manuals that instructed you how to use them. The age of the programmer had begun, when you have to try to figure out how they have programmed it, and my computer dreams came crashing down.

However I early on had a firm grasp of the difference between a computer that is connected to the internet and one that is not. I know that there are "fingers" reaching into everything I do on it. Big difference from when it was a stand alone unit.


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## frlsgirl

Looks like he was feeling his oats! I know that playful head toss; when Ana does that I know I have approximately 5 seconds before she loses her shiitake; I'm not brave like you; I will usually dismount and hand walk her until she's settled down before getting back on.


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperybaby22- Programming is really-really challenging. On one hand it's INCREDIBLY structured with very strict rules and on the other hand it's incredibly ambiguous with infinite possibilies of you work, why? You don't work why? And it just takes a lot of practice. All my Comp Sci friend and family said the learning process I'm going through is normal and my Professor said the same thing but to keep hacking at it and it'll work itself out. Unfortunately my time management skills are so awful. I had to gut my whole program before turning it in, so it doesn't do what it's supposed to.
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Tanja- Raphael was! Unfortunately just have to ride it out or it becomes a bigger problem. He's a lot happier being ridden in the trilogy than the CWD at least! We're planning on doing a sales video of Raphael next Saturday. I hope it goes well. Mandy will be taking it and she'll give good feedback.
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Update

I had to gut much of the code I had written for my project because it didn't work, so I'm probably getting an F on it. I feel terrible about it but my friend's husband spend 2 1/2 hours helping me. It was incredibly nice of him, since he's a java programmer. I had an autistic meltdown last night which is mostly uncontrollable crying, shaking, and basically uncontrollable meltdown. I didn't get up until almost 11 today which honestly I haven't done in years. I was just so frustrated and worked up from the project. I worked so hard on that, I can't even begin to explain the amount of hours that went into that project to fail. It's so hard, my brain just doesn't understand it. I feel extremely ashamed. 

I rode Friday the other day and he was great. Really made me aware of my position and self.

Rode Frankie twice in the new saddle. First day I didn't like it because the trilogy verago is designed to put you in your exact point of balance and if the saddle isnt balanced perfectly on the horse it's going to put you in the wrong position and be uncomfortable. The back of the saddle was overfilled, so Mandy fixed it and shimmed the front the next day and the saddle was perfect. I love it. Unfortunately it is too narrow for Raphael. So it's not the right saddle for him.

Rode Frankie on my own walk, trot, canter. She was great! She's SO SO much happier in the new saddle and moves so much better. I sat trot some to make sure the balance was right and she moved ten times better. I didn't stay sitting. I dont like sitting on youngsters, a few steps improve the movement too much and hollow out their back because they're not strong or coordinated enough for it. 

Tried a wide trilogy. Saturday GREATLY prefers this saddle. He's so much happier in this saddle. Much more relaxed. I think he would have gone a lot better if he had I started riding him in this saddle because by this point he was tired. 






And this is earlier in the CWD. He felt so tense, tight and I couldnt even get him to bend or leg yield. You can see how much more restrictive and tight he was. Mandy said she'd never seen me ride so hard and she didn't mean in a "rough" way but that I was working so hard for what I got, so we changed to the saddle and he felt like an entirely different horse to ride. Even though by the time we put the trilogy on he was EXHAUSTED!! He really gave me everything he could. He tried SO hard!






Also Raphael playing with me






The saddle is gorgeous!! And Frankie loves it. If I had the patience to wait for months I'd have gotten some colored trim but it's not necessary. Not as though you see it on the horse. But it's really a good fit, just need more pounding on the rear panel to flatten it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Not much of an update tonight.

I rode Friday today. He was full of hot sauce. He was full of something. Highly explosive and took a lot to get him focused at all. I didn't feel safe posting trot for the first part of the ride but then he warmed up and was fabulous. Had some great work. Worked on introducing some haunches in and shoulder in because those tools help focus a hot horse. Laterals, laterals, laterals and keeping focus. 

Frankie also got her bath, she needed one badly. She hates baths but she was disgustingly dirty. I don't know how she gets as dirty as she does but she had two washes. The water was brown.

My cat has been really good about taking her antibiotics. And Im still exhausted. I'm going to see a friend tomorrow, I'm really excited to see her.

Frankie pictures from tonight


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## PoptartShop

Beautiful saddle!!!!  I'm so glad Frankie loves it, too. Yay! That bath did her good, look how shiny she is. Spotless girl! <3
Love the pictures as always. Raphael is so silly and playful. Awww. So glad everything's going well!


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## frlsgirl

Yay, glad you and Frankie like the saddle. My saddle fitter came to Dressage camp and gave a couple of speeches/demos on dynamic saddle fitting. There is just so much to it. It's not just wither tracings and figuring out your seat size, there are balance points at rest vs balance points when the horse is moving and then the balance point changes as the horse matures and so much more. She should really write a book.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Thank you. I really like the saddle! Im glad she likes it too. That was my biggest fear is that it wouldn't work or I'd hate the fit or something of that sort lol. 

She hates baths but she does look really good following a bath! She lays down a lot, so she's usually filthy, covered in shavings and urine lol.

I don't know that things are going so well but on the horse front it is. Thank you 
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Tanja- It makes a really big difference. The saddles makes a world of difference in how a horse uses their back and how it positions the rider. Always more to learn on balance points and what goes into saddle fit. It's really a science and an art. A good friend of mine is a fitter and is constantly traveling and going places to continue her education. She's SMS qualified and apprentices with Debbie Witty and continues with a few people to keep expanding. It's amazing how much goes into it. It's really an art.
_________________________

I've given up on trying to find a saddle for Raphael. The only saddle that fits him, I can't use to ride him so I'm just going to start riding him in the bareback pad and hope he doesn't buck me off because in the other saddles I can't get him over his back and he becomes so unwilling and bitter about riding because he cants come up in his back in it and he has such a wide/table top type back he needs something that will allow him to come up vs block him from using his back or bending. I tried riding him in my saddle but he was so unhappy, it's too tight through his shoulder. I hopped on him bareback and he wasn't happy, so I lunged him and it took a lot of lunging and bending to get him to bend over his back and top line. So back to square one. I feel so bad because I don't know what else to do for him and switching saddles around all the time with none really fitting, except one I cant use isn't great for his back. Raphael is also figuring out shoulder in/haunches in a lot better but I hope riding him bareback will give him more confidence and comfort so he really can use his back well. 

Friday has been really good. I've been riding him again. The wintec seems to fit him and he's happy in it. He's been very good. Introduced shoulder in and haunches in and he's getting it pretty quickly. I love riding him because he is so sensitive and responsive but at the same time still reasonable. It takes very subtle aids to get a response which is fabulous. I love riding him. I feel very quiet riding him. 

Also rode Frankie last night. She was in season and a bit sore and felt like she wasn't comfortable. She started out really good but as the rider went on, she just didn't feel comfortable in her body so we didn't ride her for long. Figured out something pretty neat about rhythm last night riding her. She takes so much to ride and organize. I was panting and worn out after riding her. She's a good girl but she takes a lot to organize and ride. Constant focus, it's good because she's definitely making me a better rider but riding Friday made me realize how much she really takes to ride.

Today I was in a lot of pain. I think it's because I ate so much gluten stuff yesterday. My muscles are super sore and tummy feels funny. My head feels awful, head aches and just fatigued, down and tired. I could pass out but I have more work to do on my project and my cat needs me. She's loyally laying right besides me atm.


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## PoptartShop

Sorry to hear that about Raphael, it is tough to find a good saddle for him. :/ However, the bareback bad is an excellent alternative. Better than riding him in a saddle that doesn't fit you or him!  Just have to get him used to being ridden bareback. It will also help you, riding him bareback! That's awesome. Will give both of you more confidence. Win-win!
I'm glad Friday has been good too. :smile: Good to hear!!!

Frankie is such a beasty mare sometimes huh. LOL! Awww, sounds like she is definitely a workout. That's awesome though. Riding all these different horses makes you a better rider. Especially when you have to stay focused and 'on'. I feel like that with Redz a lot. Like, I have to constantly stay focused because he needs me. 
Oh no, I hope you feel better. :/ Ouch. Hopefully you can get some rest after you're done your project. Maybe take a nice nap and just relax.  So sorry you don't feel well. Your cat is the perfect cuddle buddy! <3


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## frlsgirl

I don't know if this is going overboard but my saddle fitter custom fits the panels to Ana so she told me to never ride another horse in this saddle because it could reshape the panels. If you have multiple horses and the saddle for your current horse kind of fits a second horse, she will make a custom shaped pad to use for the second horse. That only works if the second horse finds the saddle a tad too big because extra stuffing takes up more blank space. She also said that I should only put my saddle on a plain bar, so that the stuffing in the panels doesn't get squished. 

So what are you going to do when you have to do a sales video for Raphael if you can't find a saddle that fits him?

Oh yes, I totally hear you on the gluten hangover, it's not fun, and not really worth it. Sometimes you have to go through it to remind yourself to never do that again, lol.

Let's hope the cat can help you feel better.


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## Tazzie

I'm so glad everyone is going so well! Sorry that the saddle didn't fit Raphael though :sad: hopefully he will become more secure with the bareback riding. Just may need a lot to boost his confidence that all will be ok. I wish you tons of luck though!!

The videos are wonderful! You are such a terrific rider it's just plain fun to watch! And Frankie is lovely as always! Maybe she will learn to love baths? Izzie used to hate them, until we bathed her on a hot day. LOVES them now. Loves even more when we clean her teats :lol: like a darn dog lifting her leg to get a deeper scratching haha!

I hope you feel better though! That doesn't sound pleasant at all :sad:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alison- Thank you. I think he'll be a lot happier bareback than in a saddle that doesn't fit. He can't really use his whole back or use himself as well as he should. The one saddle that fits him I can't use but bareback is better than nothing. But thank you, I'm happy the kids are all doing well. I hope he'll feel better and more comfortable and be more confident bareback and knowing it wont hurt. I think he's started to see riding as painful, I feel so bad for him. 

I'm glad Redz keeps you focused and busy. Frankie is a workout, especially when she's not feeling it. She was in season and it can make mares sore. She's 3 and very tall, so she usually takes a lot to organize and ride but she's a good girl.

Thanks. I hope I feel better soon too. I've been in a lot of pain. I have a bad knot in my shoulder that causes sharp pain and is reducing my range of motion, so I didn't want to ride being in that much pain. It's very sharp.
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Tanja- Unfortunately Raphael isn't my horse, so I don't really want to spend my money on a horse I'm being paid to ride. It's a good idea though, he's just not my horse so I can't really afford to spend much money on him.

But Mandy (my friend who is a fitter) has a saddle that fits Saturday we'll be using for the sales video. I'd like to ride in it a few times before the video because arabs are funny about when things change.

But definitely. I felt incredibly awful. I'm sorry you know the gluten hangover. It's really painful, all your muscle hurt, your joints ache and head aches. But thank you, both my girls are helping me feel better so far. 
___________________

Katie- Thank you  I'm glad the kids are going well too! But thank you for the luck with Raphael. I need it with getting him confident that using his back properly won't hurt him. He's a half arabian and you know how sensitive they are and how much they dislike any kind of discomfort.

But thank you. I appreciate the compliment and support  I like sharing the videos because I think it's good to see the training process and see how horses and riders progress and develop and also the lessons and the information that comes with them to help those who are interested. There is a lot of good information in them I think. And sometimes showing explains more than telling.

lol youre going to have to get a video of Izzie lifting her leg and loving her teats being washed lol. Frankie loves it too, though I doubt she loves it quite as much as Izzie! She just hates baths, just does mini piaffes the whole time and dances.

But thank you. Im hoping I feel better tomorrow and not have all this joint and muscular pain. The headaches are through but I think I definitely need to not eat gluten or at least not in quantity again. It made me feel so sick and sore.
___________________

Update

Hardly an update today. Mostly stayed home today and yesterday with the cats and on schoolwork. Today was not my best day. I feel so behind on everything I'm meant to do and it's overwhelming me to the point where I don't feel too motivated atm lol. My old Lady cat has finished her antibiotics and is snuggling with me. She's snoring very loudly, it's kinda funny.

Frankie should have gotten her hooves done yesterday. Did laundry. And admittedly am watching American Horror Story season 1. I also watched a neat documentary on human development while working on homework. About the 3 different trimesters, genetics and possible reason when and why genes turn on or off. How small changes in genes can cause severe deficiencies in appearance and function or how stress during pregnancy or the food a mother consumed turns on or off genes in her developing baby. Even in the late trimester stress can affect things like IQ, anxiety, depression, athleticism and social ability. It was REALLY neat. 

We had a bad storm last night and a small F1 tornado went through my town but didn't do much damage and everyone is okay. My animals were really scared but they were with me because I was concerned for them. Athena (Old Lady) my girl slept under the bed. She usually lays on me. Thanks be to God. I'm hoping everyone is safe this season. I HATE the spring time. My birthday is coming up and I'm getting older. I feel old, I look a lot younger than I am. I think I look maybe 20 and have for the last 6-7 years. I guess I should be grateful but in reality if you looked at my photos when I was 20 I look like I've had plastic surgery lol. Natural aging but it's an interesting process.


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## PoptartShop

I'm sorry you feel overwhelmed. I understand how you feel. :/ That sounds like a really interesting documentary. What was it called? I love documentaries.
AHS is a really good show. I've seen all the seasons, dying for the next one!  Not every season is the best but my favorite is the first, Coven, Hotel, & I forget the other one I really liked.  So many haha.

Glad everyone is OK & the storm didn't do too much damage. That's scary! Awwww they probably felt really secure & safe with you. :smile: 
You really do look young! I know, I turn 26 this year I'm like...oh geeze, I'm closer to 30 than 20 now. :rofl:


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## frlsgirl

Oh yes I heard about the tornadoes in Missouri and Kansas. We just had a dust storm here in Oklahoma and my freshly washed white car is now covered in beige dust. Glad everyone is ok. There is a very fancy barn in my town; they charge like $1600 a month for stall board which nobody can afford; their barn has an F5 tornado rating; so if we all die at least their horses will survive.


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## Tazzie

Oh yes, I'm well aware of how sensitive these darn Half Arabians are. Enough to drive you absolutely insane!

I'm sure Saturday will be great though. Glad you'll have a saddle to use to at least do his sales video. I hope he finds his perfect home 

Oh Frankie! Baths are GOOD! I'll definitely get a video one day. It cracks me up. I don't believe I'll be doing her show bath for the upcoming show (long story I'll be putting in my journal soon), so for the April one I'll try to get video. Mares!!

I really do enjoy your videos, and they've helped me out on occasion. Especially some of your lessons. I like trying some of the stuff with Izzie :lol:

Hopefully you got caught up on everything. I remember doing homework all the time. It SUCKED! Good luck with it all!

And that's scary!! I HATE tornadoes. We just had straight line winds that ripped stuff up. There was a tornado west of us, and two north of us. Scary business. Tornadoes scare the beejesus out of me.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- It's on Netflix, I think it's the making of you or something like that but yes AHS is really interesting. I think I like Murder House and Asylum then Roanoke then Coven, Hotel and Freak Show. 

It was scary. I'm usually not scared but the wind was HOWLING and the storm was just LOUD. I think they felt safer with me. 

And yep exactly. For me it's more like my God I am no where, where I thought I'd be. And mostly the thoughts of being disappointed in myself and telling myself to get my sh!t together. But that's my point of view where as when I explain "my life" to other people they're more like WOW you've really done a lot in your life. I have experience but not accomplishment. And mostly just feel like a disappointment to myself. That's kind of what birthdays have come to mean for me, one more year to remind myself of times changing.
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Tanja- That's a really expensive barn! I guess the horse's are safe? But yikes storms and the like scare me. It's amazing it's that special a barn that it could survive something like that but I can't imagine being able to afford a barn like that.
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Katie-lol exactly! You know how picky and finicky they are. Willing as LONG as they're comfortable and you ask nicely and are encouraging, otherwise it's a hel1 no, nope and sometimes being absolutely reasonable it's a discussion of yeah but that's hard why not do it this way? lol arabs

I do too. He really deserves it. He's going to be a GREAT horse for the right person! And he's happy bareback!

lol yep gotta get a video of that sometime! I bet it's hilarious! And exactly mares. They just have to make things a little more difficult lol.

I'm glad. I think there are some really good tid bits in the lessons and clinics. I like looking back at them to remember and remind myself about things they pointed at and sometimes going back and watching little things they say mean more to me and I get a lot of out of them. 

I still feel behind in my studies. I have a lot of studying to do. I took a break when I got home because I was just wiped out from going all the time and being sleep deprived and being gone today for about 12hrs lol but thank you. Next week is Spring Break so I'll have plenty of time to catch up and relax.

Oh me too. I'm from Oregon, so this wild weather is too much for me. It terrifies me! I worry about all my loved ones!
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Update

I had a lesson on Frankie last night. She was very difficult to steer and ride in general. Warm up was rough and honestly I wasn't as focused as I really needed to be. I had been working more on java programming and building classes and trying to get my program to execute the functions I wanted and it uses different parts of my brain than riding and it takes a little bit for me to switch. But after I got back into focus and Frankie started going she was actually really-really good. She was frisky, might have bucked and tried to take off but came back quickly and she gave me the best trot under saddle I've ever gotten from her. She was a good girl! She was a comatose after the workout there. I think I could just leave her in the center of the arena, walk away, put everything away and she wouldn't move.

I also rode Raphael bareback and he was FABULOUS!! Like a new horse. It took a bit to convince him he could do things and it wouldn't hurt or feel uncomfortable but once he realized that his stride opened up, he gained confidence, willingness and was just a totally different horse with a good attitude. After our ride he seemed so pleased with himself and just seemed happy. It made me happy to see. I want my horses to think YES I CAN when working. I always lunge first before I ride bareback because posting bareback makes horses uncomfortable and I want their back to warm up first. Bareback pad is good to Raphael!

I had some really interesting talks with my Professors today. I also saw a move called GATTACA for the first time which is AMAZING! I need to practice talking more because atm I have a really hard time organizing and explaining all the parts in my head. Like I was trying to explain autism and why there aren't genetic tests for autism and gene variation, epigenetics and we still know so little about our DNA and what causes something like Autism which varies. ATM because I interact with people so little I'm out of practice for talking, so you can really tell I'm on the spectrum. Communication is not natural for me, I HAVE to work REALLY-REALLY hard at it because I want to be as articulate as possible because I want to be understood. I want people to understand my thoughts and connect. For me I think of things in terms of feel and interconnecting pictures and how things interact. For me I can see Einsteins Theory of relativity in my mind but I have a very hard time converting what it means to the outside world. I do a lot better when I talk to people regularly and that's another reason I want to get into education. I have to be able to talk or it's honestly embarrassing because I can't put sentences together and my thoughts seem really scattered and all over. It's hard for me to isolate and narrow things down to mean something so others understand.

Understanding is the whole point of communication. Words don't inherently have any meaning, except that we assign a word to describe something we have seen or experienced. If we haven't seen or experienced something or parts, you can't entirely understand it. Like Plato's cave, if you've spent your whole life in a dark cave and then go up into the world to see the sky, trees, grass, and bird how can you describe what you've seen to the other's in the cave who have never seen the sky, trees, grass, or birds?


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## PoptartShop

YES! That's the one I was thinking of, Freak Show! So crazy. I wonder what the next theme will be. 
I'm glad you ended up having a good ride with Frankie, then Raphael! Yay! So glad the bareback thing is working out.  So awesome. Such good little ones you have!

That is very interesting. I know what you mean. It can be hard. In college I had to stand up and speak, and I hated it sometimes because my words would be everywhere. Especially if I'm under a lot of pressure, my words get jumbled & make zero sense to anyone. LOL. But then after a bit I'd be like OK it's not so bad! :lol: Work myself up over nothing. Communication is definitely an interesting subject.


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## Tihannah

Ahhhh, I LOVE American Horror Story. I watched the first season on Netflix a few years ago, just on a whim, and I was hooked. Though I like some seasons more than others, I really love that show. Me and my guy are always trying to find good horror movies to watch, but because we watch them so much, it's hard to find things that are scary or gruesome enough for us. Lol.

So glad you a had a good ride on Raphael! Maybe Frankie was just feeling a little off? She looks amazing and its so fun watching her develop and change so quickly!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- They said the next theme was the 2016 election which kinda makes me want to quit watching because I'm SO SO sick of Hollywood and politics. Just tired of politics in general and Hollywood shoving their viewpoint down and honestly if I want to listen to political views I will. I want to watch shows as a way to think about other things. But I'm an independent-libertarian, so for me I just get irritated with it all.

It really is. Communication is difficult for me, so I'm always working on it! I usually give pretty decent speeches but when I'm off and struggling, I can't talk because I cant bull sh!t or talk mindlesslessly. It makes me a hit/miss speaker. But I don't enjoy public speaking either, it's terribly uncomfortable and stressful!!
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Tina- Me too! It's so unique and fascinating. It's quite dark and they hire incredibly talented actors/actresses! I usually am not a big horror fan but that's awesome you guys enjoy it so much! Some horror is really interesting and unconventional but in general my imagination runs too wild and horror makes it hard for me to sleep lol. If I have my cats I'm fine but my brain can be so illogical lol.

Thank you! The babies are really cool because they make such big advancements so quickly. With Frankie I think her saddle is over flocked in the back and making her move lame because on the lungeline without a saddle she moves fine. My friend is coming out to fix it when she gets back from Nova Scotia. She gave us a temporary fix until she came back but I'm going to wait until she gets back to ride her.
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UPDATE

I'M ON SPRING BREAK AND I'M SO EXCITED!! My birthday is next week (March 18th) (Dante's birthday is coming up too on the 16th)and I'm honestly not excited about it. Well mixed feelings, I'm getting closer to 30 and I'm so far behind from where I thought I'd be by now. I'm not entirely disappointed in myself but it amps me up to try to get through school so I can really be on my own and independent and really start my life. I think going into education is a good move on my part, I think my anxiety wouldn't be able to cope with computer science because I'm a perfectionist and I'd get SO SO frustrated with the infinite trial and error nature of computer science. It's so frustrating. I've thought about shaving all my hair off several times working on it. Im going to practice dutch braids over break and work on getting new health insurance and a bunch of catch up on other stuff.











Frankie's saddle needs to be adjusted. We knew it did but my friend whose a saddle fitter was leaving for Nova Scotia the day after it was delivered, so when she comes back she's going to fit it. basically the rear panneling is over flocked and putting too much pressure on Frankie's back and she's moving lame in it, so I'm not riding her until we get the saddle fixed. I rode her last night as she had a great attitude and was really trying but she couldn't turn left, was so tense in her body, I couldn't get her through and I told Mari I think we'll just call it quits because she has such a good attitude and is really trying but I feel like she just can't and I absolutely won't be riding a 3yr old bareback. She's not strong enough for that much sitting trot and I don't think that's fair with her developing.

Raphael is 5 1/2 so I don't feel as bad riding him bareback but a 3yr old no. We're still working through things with him or I should say I am because he is really quite a difficult horse to ride and I'm still working on me getting more stable bareback. I'm not as strong as I used to be but it's killing my core to ride him bareback and I'm not quite confident enough in some spots to push him on where I need to. He had a mini temper tantrum last night that I rode through and it is scary to go through bareback a little rearing up, bucking fit.

Also Raphael from last night. It's not perfect. It's rough but we're working through some stuff. We still have a lot to work on and I'm not strong enough to really push him through some of this and feel confident I'll stay balanced. He really is difficult to ride lol. 
















last part. He was really fighting me and thought he could just stop in the turn or going down centerline and so I have to really ride through that.





Some old Dante videos I thought had good information on them










I cut Raphael's mane (not supposed to) but it was getting long and I wanted to trim it before it gets too long. Thick manes are harder to cut. I much prefer pulling but we cut because dutch braid are "in" right now and are easier to braid.

Also some pics of Friday. He has an ugly leg because he had check ligament surgery as a yearling. I think that may also be why he is only 15.2h and he needs to lose weight. We're working on it because he has such a cresty neck. But he is losing weight. It scares me a lot more when they're over weight then a little overweight.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright yesterday I rode Friday and we had a REALLY good ride! He is definitely the most schooled of the babies and is really developing. We got him really up, did a bit of lateral work, 3 loop serpentine, worked on improving the rhythm in the canter which on a horse who isn't strong enough behind, a bit downhill and naturally a hotter horse it's a bit tricky. It took a TON out of me. My whole body was sore today because we did a lot of sitting trot (he goes WAY better sitting vs posting) but I was puffing and getting teased for puffing but it's a lot of work to ride and coordinate and organize and sit pretty still, sit, and keep it altogether.

Rode Friday again today and he was very tired but he was SO good. He's very sensitive and I wish a different saddle fit him but the wintec because finding my true center is very difficult and Friday is ridiculously sensitive so it's VERY hard to ride him straight if I'm not dead center and any small, miniscule change he has a pretty strong reaction to, so honestly he's awesome to ride! Also worked on me riding, preparing and setting up the canter transition better and positioning, etc. Always mindful, always working on something. 

Raphael I found a temporary saddle if I shim up the front with special pads and he was AMAZING to ride. I think part of the bareback issue is his back gets no relief. I dont think he's strong enough for sitting trot. But the saddle worked and he was by far the best he's ever been. He really came over his back, his stride really opened up, he was very willing and good. He was still himself but we were able to work through it! He was quite ridable and reasonable! I was so pleased, so we could really work on improving his bend (especially through the rib cage which before I couldn't or hed stop moving forward and throw a fit), throughness, and the details that will improve everything else. Really showed how much he needs in his body and figure out his connection a bit better and setting him up better for it which before I couldn't really do because I was struggling just to keep him forward and kinda going if that makes any sense but good learning day. I HATE the saddle, I hate riding in the wintec. I can't really find my true point of balance in it, it's not helpful at all, just makes it hard to be over my true center of balance which is a problem because it makes it really hard to get good canter transitions, really get good bend, be in balance, organize the canter, get better movement in the trot and in general makes it difficult to ride effectively or at all well. I don't mind it on Friday because he's not nearly as rough of a ride but it's frustrating because I can't find my true center of balance in it and so I'm trying very hard to stay exactly center when I need to move for bend or for circles or serpentines, laterals, transitions etc. Raphael was ridable enough I could actually to a 10m circle figure of 8 loop and actually do a bow tie exercise, changes of direction, etc Im SO excited I could actually ride him!!

Riding these two pointed out some more details to me which provided with better feel and reactions, I have better body awareness/position and my timing is getting so much better. Im also getting a lot more still in my connection and not that I am loud but it really showed to me the importance of stillness and also when riding the walk in the connection, the importance of giving to really get the reach. Give more than is necessary and also of course the moving the barrel or rib cage between the legs to get a great degree of suppleness and throughness.

I also spent quite a bit of time with Frankie, she really needed some one on one mom time. She threw a little tantrum by taking a horse's blanket off of their stall and shake it to try to get my attention. She was NOT happy with Friday and Raphael getting attention and I hadn't even said hi to her! In my defense I had time restraints and needed to get the boys done first. But then she got her one on one time. She has a really tense muscle over her right side that I got to loosen up quite a bit with lunging, stretching, a little massagey type stuff. It's a lot less but I am considering having the vet inject the muscles so they relax. I think it's from the saddle being over stuffed behind and because in her function she comes up in her back A LOT, especially behind the saddle so my hope is when my friend comes back from Nova Scotia she can fix it. We knew it was over stuffed behind but time restraints as she was leaving the next day and it was late but gah horses. ALWAYS something. I feel like with all these babies, I'm always dealing with saddle fit issues and a lot of similar but different issues. And to be fair the kids don't have their own saddle as they were bred to eventually sell but saddle fit stuff just drives me up the wall. Babies are constantly changing shape, progressing rapidly and constant adjustment.

She really is my baby girl though. I feel so lucky to have her, she fits me so perfectly. We just suit each other. I can't explain it, I just love her.

Some pictures of Frankie and I. The first one is the blanket she threw on the floor. The tongue picture she was originally try to itch her nose on my butt and then found the little buckles and wanted to play with it and I thought it was hysterical. Also the last one to show her height. I'm 5'7 but shoes have about an 1 1/2inches to my height. She is a total dork. She's really smart and is really very brave. Also a picture with Jeff, the barn cat whose a little funny with most people. He really doesnt like non-cat people. He's funny that way but he's great with me. We're buddies, anytime I go into the lounge he hops up on my lap within 30 seconds and stays there purring loudly. He's such a cuddle bug.


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## PoptartShop

Yayyy I'm glad you had a good ride!  & that's so cute, you are definitely Frankie's 'person'.  I love the pictures! They are so photogenic, as are you!
LOL she is such a silly girl! She's standing there like uh yeah, I threw that blanket on the ground...what you gonna do about it? :lol:
I'm glad you found a good solution with Raphael too.  Sweet! I'm glad you are seeing an improvement in your riding too, it definitely helps to ride different horses. 
So happy for you!!!


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## frlsgirl

Great Frankie selfies! You must have really long arms cause my Ana selfies always cut off part of our heads! Yay on the saddle solution for Raphael! And thanks for the braiding tutorial videos. I really just need to spend a day getting myself organized at the barn, clean my tack, and practice braiding.


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## Tazzie

I'm so glad everyone is doing so well! And that Raphael has a saddle that works! I know Wintecs aren't the best, but as long as the ponies are happy it's all that matters! Though I do get the frustration of saddle fit. Oh boy do I get it and I feel your pain! Especially with the quirky ones :lol:

I LOVE the photos! Frankie is just a doll and you are totally her person  never slow down on the pictures!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Thank you. I love my fur babies. I prefer them to most people lol. And thank you. I think my new skin care regime is really making the difference. My skin is totally different. Derma rollers once every 3-4 weeks (Ive had them about 6 weeks), then I made a mix of ground onion, ginger, garlic, lemon, egg white and apple cider vinegar then I put an oatmeal, raw honey, egg, baking soda and probiotics mixture over that once the first dries and let it sit for 30min then wash it off and spritz a apple cider vinegar/witch hazel spray over it, followed by jaboba oil. I have acne prone, dry skin and of all the expensive treatments I've tried, this works by far the best. My skin hasn't looked better in years!

lol pretty much. She's very possessive and is a total mama's girl. She's like having a toddler that shakes the bottom of your dress, going mommy, mommy, mommy I NEED attention. She's a wonderful little weirdo. 

Thank you and definitely Im very grateful for all the horses and being able to ride and enjoy them and the lessons they offer me. I've gotten a lot more confident and I've ridden a pretty good variety of horses. Last I counted I've ridden over a hundred different horses of various types but having a continued time of riding different ones is really beneficial. But thank you kindly 
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Tanja- Thank you, I thought they were pretty cute. Frankie is a dork lol but actually my arms aren't very long. I have a short upper body and I think average length arms but it may be I've found a way to take a picture with it held out pretty far one handed lol. 

And you're welcome. I like to watch grooming videos and ideas to learning how to do something better. And yes a tack wash day sounds good!
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Katie- Thank you. I appreciate it  and yes those quirky, sensitive half arabs drive me crazy too lol. Friday is REALLY sensitive too. He's a good boy but very sensitive which is why is frustrates me not to be able to feel my true center of balance in the wintec. You're definitely right at least the boy are both happy but for me it's frustrating because Im not riding as well or effectively as I could in something better suited to me.

And thank you! Pony selfies are the best! I love them and Frankie is a total dork, so she suits me. I wasn't paying attention and starting singing what I call the squirrel song. It goes I am the squirrel in a bravado, theatrical, dramatic voice young and vigilant, I am the squirrel then I did the squirrel noises and made a squirrel face. Everyone looks at Frankie twisting her head in the cross ties and doing weird stuff and go look what you've done Cassie you've rubbed off on her and I insist she's always been weird. It was her weirdness that drew in my weirdness and we just live in our own little oddities boat together. 
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Update

Frankie's back is still really sore and getting swollen, the vet is coming out tomorrow and said he'll be able to look at her. I think she's going to need a muscle injection :-/ but I'd rather have it look at and taken care of, rather than it become a problem. Poor girlie. She was very in my pocket today (as always). I don't like seeing her in pain. I haven't been riding her at all and my friend looked at the saddle and took out some wool and is adjusting it. We agreed to have Frankie see the vet first before we finish work on it because Frankie's reactions to the swelling is compromising the accuracy. I think we'll get it right but the tricky thing with fitting Frankie is she is a baby and changing quickly and also because she is a baby and her motion and back shape standing vs in motion is very different. So my friend is going to change the angle to the panels to fit Frankie's back when Frankie's back is feeling better and she can get a more accurate assessment. But very neat discussion. I learned a lot from her today about conformation, saddle fit and her visit to Nova Scotia with a PRE/classical trainer who is actually spanish riding type classical. I am not a big classical person, I just support good riding and dont care about the label but I definitely appreciate the heritage and people who do it well. The system is definitely designed more for baroque/spanish types than warmbloods. Very different types of horses. I am not a huge PRE fan, I like lusitanos and I think spanish horses are really neat but it wouldn't be a goal of mine to own one.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright not a huge update. And it's quite late for me.

Frankie had back xrays, mostly for my peace of mind because I've known so many horses with kissing spine or various back issues and I just wanted the peace of mind because she's having a lot of back pain. I haven't ridden her in a little while so I don't think it's a training issue. We think saddle fit and chiropractic, that she might have tweaked herself out in the field or something. So her x rays are perfectly clean and she's on robaxin for a week to help relax the muscle and chiropractic visit. She's still on a work schedule and her saddle is still being adjusted to fit her. My friend didn't want to complete it until Frankie had her back looked at because she's quite sore and I don't think it's her ovaries. 

I also rode Raphael, Friday, and Dooley today. Dooley is an 18.2h (yes that is not a typo and yes he really is that big) oldenburg by Donnerwetter. He is 21yrs old and amazingly is a phenomenal jumper and was ridden VERY VERY hard in his prime, was a college jumper and he's also a phenomenal dressage horse. I absolutely love him, granted I was breathing so hard I was coughing during our walk breaks but he is WOW. To start he was really testing me and really seeing if I knew anything and once I correct him and showed him that he could trust me to balance him his stride doubled and he was just wow. We did some half steps, half pass and changes, collected and extended gaits which was just awesome. He takes a TON of core and leg just to organize him. He takes a lot to organize but he is SO neat. SUPER smart horse and so sensitive. I would not believe he was 21 if I didn't know he was. He rides like a young horse. His evassion from connection is a weaving up a stiff shoulder in to a stiff haunches in but he stops when I just sending him forward. He's an interesting horse. The stronger the rider is, the quieter they can be and the more effective-gently they can apply their aids.

Raphael took a lot out of me today too. He was really testing me but I felt like we got some really good work and really pushed through some stuff. It was not perfect but progress is being made. If I ask for forward, I can get forward without a hissy fit, which in turn has transformed his circles, laterals, and general way of going. He's gotten so much more through and over his back. My friend who is a saddle fitter, I hadn't even really mentioned to her how much I dislike the wintec and she saw me ride in it and said oh Cassie, I can tell this is a horrible saddle for you lol. I have to learn so hard to the right to be in my center of balance, I'd have had no idea unless I was told and left/right or front back it's just not a good saddle for me but sometimes you just got to ride in what you have to ride in. Im grateful to have a saddle at all atm.

Friday is taking a lot from me and I really have to hold my core in his canter, I'm not strong enough in my legs and core to really sit quiet. It's hard but like I told Mari, I've been doing a lot of exercises to improve my strength because if I want to be a good rider being weak or out of shape isn't an option. It makes the biggest difference in the world. A lot of mindfulness about rhythm, so in my head I have a rhythmical counter of 1,2,3 and really hold my body to it to organize his canter. It's not an easy canter to ride and honestly my trouble is I allow myself to move too much and it takes a lot for me to stop myself from following. Never add speed with my seat, a lot of emphasizing stillness and quieter and quieter, lighter and lighter but deeper and deeper. Is complicated but good-productive, tough/physically demanding lesson.

I also lunged Miss Francesca who received many compliments on how pretty she is but I had to inform them that Frankie also had a great personality and is really smart. She's a total mama's girl as well. I can't believe how dark she is. She's almost black! 










Vs undersaddle. It really does amaze me how much riding/training makes a difference but a horse also has to have good basic mechanics.Whenever I evaluate a prospect, I'm not so impressed by how pretty or flashy they move as much as I'm impressed by their mechanics. HOW they physically move, HOW they engage themselves, how they canter. The basic rhythm and beat, their natural tendencies, how they move over their back, how they step. That tells the most. You can improve the gaits and change them but you cannot create them if it isn't there. I've seen horses because of their mechanics, even though they were very flashy/impressive/pretty who would never make it up the levels as a dressage horse because they lack the sit and ability to really elevate and take from behind. Willpower isn't enough, conformation and mechanics matter too.






I can't wait for my girl to feel better again and to start riding her too. She takes a lot to ride. Mostly in organization, she rides very big and as she's a baby it's always a question of, is she reasonably balanced, rhythmical, through and together for her age and place in training? You cannot expect perfect from a baby. Friday is definitely helping my rhythm monitor. 

I've also been looking back at my old Dante videos and seeing them, I can see why Dante was so hard to ride. Watching the videos I kept think how hard he looks to ride and how bouncy/uncomfortable he looks. I cant see it in how he pushes off his back legs and how he moves over his back. Because honestly Dante is one of the bounciest horses I've ever ridden. The 18.2h giant isn't even close to as bouncy as Dante. Dante was like being shot into the rafters every stride.I also can see how much I've improved as a rider but I have a better eye for why Dante was so difficult. A lot of it is conformation and a good part is just he didn't want to do it.

I've also settled on a browband for her. Like the top one but with the smoke topaz, instead of the light colorado.

Garnet and light colorado browband - Equiture

Smoke topaz and garnet browband - Equiture

Had an amazing discussion about mechanics with Mari and Mark (the vet whom I call Rainbow and he calls me sunshine). I light up his life and he reflects my colors haha. We just get along so well and in all honesty and keep in mind I don't have a crush on him or anything like that but I really admire him as a person. If I were to ever get married I'd want someone like him, someone I just get along with and who has that kind of humor, honesty, objectivity, kindness and intelligence. Someone I admire. I've known him for 9yrs, he was a golf buddy of my dads. He's just a good man who stands by his principles, works unbelievably hard and has enough humility to continue learning but he's confident in his assessment, honest if he doesnt have an answer and goes out of his way to continue learning and seeks opportunities to keep developing as a vet. He doesn't get rapped up in ego, same as me or Mari. We don't get wrapped up in our egos, we seek objectivity and giving an honest perspective without an agenda or projection of how it makes us look or feel. Just honest.

We talked about kids today and I said it was very unlikely I'll ever have kids because I can't imagine going on a date, let alone a relationship, marriage and the whole 9 yard and honestly I don't have a lot of time left if I were to pursue that road. And honestly if I wanted to, I don't even know how I'd find someone suitable because I want an equal who inspires me and I admire in some way and the same for them to me. Almost everyone in my life I admire for some quality and I'd want that in a relationship and won't settle for less. I'd rather be alone than settle with well that's good enough when it isn't really fulfilling and I'm a closet romantic. Not in the poetry and flower way but in the you just mean something to me and I really care about you sort of way and I've never had anyone care about me the way I've cared about them in a relationship. I've poured so much of myself into people, truly believed they were who they said they were and seemed to be and been blind sided so hard. I honestly don't think I have the ability to cope. I give my whole self when I pursue a relationship, not just a part and I know I can't modify that. I'm passionate and compassionate to a degree that is honestly painful if I don't numb myself up to it. For the most part I don't care about a lot of things because I can't afford to, it's too taxing to care that much. Im pretty thick skinned in a lot of respects but in relationships, I'm very fragile because of how empathetic and compassionate I really am. I can't help that aspect, though I have become a lot more numb and less sensitive over the years. But I think that same trait is why animals are so drawn to me and vice versa and why we seem to have an unspoken understanding, trust and love for on another. Compassion and empathy is a very powerful bond.

Dooley.


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## PoptartShop

I hope Frankie feels better soon!  Yes, it will definitely go a lot better once her pain subsides.
WOW!!! Dooley is HUGE! LOL! 18.2?????? :O Sounds like a fun ride though. Wow, sounds like he gave you a workout too! Glad you got to ride him.  I'd need a suuuuper tall mounting block to get on him. :lol: 5'2 problems!

I know, there's a horse named Logan at our barn who is so bouncy/bumpy, I rode him a few times but just didn't like it. Some people don't mind it at all, but me? Nope! I need a smoother ride. 

Aww it is hard to find a nice man like that. I know what you mean. You'd want someone with his qualities. I totally get that. 
That's how I am completely- that's why I've been single for like 7 years. I am only 25, but I don't want to settle just to 'have' someone there. Perfectly fine on my own too. I agree!  I've also gone on dates but they usually go back to their ex, or just disappear. Jerks. Or they try to come back & I'm like NOPE LOL. :lol: 
No time for dating for me either. Maybe one day I'll want to again, but not right now!  
I like the top one too. So nice and flashy!!


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## frlsgirl

If I had to do it all over again I would marry an equine vet, too! Think of all the money you would save! And to not spend days worrying about your horse while you wait for your vet to show up!

How did Frankie express her discomfort in her back? Was it visibly swollen? Did you flinch when you brushed her? Glad the x-rays turned out fine.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- I know me too. I want to ride her so badly. She's my favorite to ride of everybody. I love working with her. At least she doesn't seem to be uncomfortable or in pain, only if you put pressure on her back. 

lol we have a pretty tall mounting block. He's massive and he rides massive. He takes a LOT of core strength to ride, he's a fraketrain. If he's not organized you can't steer on him. He's a beast but a total sweetheart. He just wants to cuddle with me and he and Frankie get along. But Mari (one of my trainers is 5'2-5'3) and rides him really well.

It really is, so I don't bother either. Why set yourself up for heartbreak and disappointment and being let down over and over again or get attached, distracted or all those useless, silly emotions. I entirely agree. It's just too much and anymore the guys of our generation are just sh1T bags. Totally selfish and entitled with no appreciation or they're super needy, clingy and insecure. And I'm someone who tends to give-give-give without asking for much in return but eventually it wears me out. Plus and I know you understand this but a lot of guys are intimidated by independent, self sufficient women who don't need no man lol.
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Tanja- that is a fair point. Now I don't know how to find me one of those lol. 

Frankie showed her discomfort with being uncomfortable when pressure was put on her sore muscle. It's slightly swollen and she just seems uncomfortable and avoids pressure when pressure is put on it. The robaxin is really helping! And I'm glad they were clean too. Truth be told I had them done for my peace of mind and because kissing spine is so common, even if a horse has never been ridden a horse can have kissing spine and Im pretty determined to be proactive about whatever may come or develop.
____________

Update I have been spending quite a lot of time riding and being with the horses. I have not studied like I thought I would...I know Im bad but I'm obsessed with horses lol. 

Dooley has been AMAZING to ride. He's really teaching me a lot like why it's so important to keep my elbows velcroed to my ribs. He takes a LOT to organize and ride and the amount of strength I need in my core and upper body is crazy. He's SO eager to please which is amazing but try sitting an extended trot on an 18.2h powerhouse :lol: Good lord. I had to be VERY mindful of my seat in the canter. Outside leg back, inside leg at the girth and keep weight down my outside seat bone, if I swap he'll lead change. Also fun is his evasion techniques are laterals, so I haven't done much laterals wise other than to get him really through and engaged but we've done quite a few straight lines, half steps, half halts and I think a good part of why he takes so much to ride is he's not conditioned muscularly for what I'm asking. My trainer rarely rides him and he's leased by a teen. But he has a great work ethic and is INSANELY powerful. He's a treat to get to ride. It also made me appreciate how skillful and good a rider my trainer really is. He is one where if you're a millisecond off in your timing you lose the beast lol. But organizing his canter takes so much core to keep me still and keep rocking him back and also the half halt-release of the bridle to keep him light, up, through and in self carriage. Just WOW! I'm SO SO grateful to have had this opportunity. He's teaching me SO SO much. I gave him the day off today but I groomed and cleaned him up. He's so sweet. He just wanted to lay his head in my arms and lick my hands. He's a sweetheart. But it's great because it makes me more aware of my strengths and weaknesses. 

I rode Raphael today. He was a handful. My goodness did he take a lot to ride tonight and keep him forward. I rode through a few tantrums, I've put a grab strap on the saddle because when he acts up, it's very much so a no this is your only option. Just do it then very quick to reward and praise him when he does the right thing. I guess we're going to start getting him going over fences and possibly market him as a jumper. I heard about it today. We're trying to market and get him sold.

Friday was excellent yesterday. We worked a lot more on collection and laterals. He's worked out haunches in which I'm very excited about. One way he has it, other way he has the concept of it. He's a ridiculously smart little horse but in the way he applies it towards work, rather than ways out of work. He's a very supple horse. I think he's going to be super easy to develop. He just picks up on things so quickly.

Frankie had clean x rays and is on robaxin, it seems to be helping her back and then she is seeing the chiropractor on Tuesday. I've been lunging her and Im very anxious to ride her. She's ridiculously smart as well. After a lunging session. I took everything off of her and left her in the arena while I set things down and she opened the arena door, moved her body out of the way and swung it open, then she closed it, kept her body out of the way and closed the door like a person. I was SHOCKED. She was totally bodily aware and completely understood what she was doing. She has a good work ethic and while she's hesitant with a challenge, she will still try it and works hard. I'm just so anxious to ride her again. She's been really good, she's definitely my baby and makes sure I know about how displeased she is of my attentions being divided among so many horses. She was VERY upset about Dooley needing cuddles. She removed the blanket from a horse stall and shook it to make sure I paid attention and had my eyes on her. She's not possessive at all...

Also tried new grooming products from San Juan Research and am absolutely in love. I've tried 5 different detanglers but their detangler and coat shine thing is BY FAR the best I've ever used and I've tried a lot of products. It has no silicon or harsh chemicals and it just enriches and improves the quality of the coat and tail, etc. I'm so impressed. I've tried it on Dooley, Frankie, Friday, and Raphael with good results.

I'll have to get a picture of Frankie and Dooley next to each other. Frankie looks TINY next to him. Frankie is almost 16.3h but Dooley makes ANYBODY look little. Dooley and Dante used to be pasture mates.

Dooley and Dante. They ended up being separated due to Dooley's allergies. I also thought everyone should know it's Dante's birthday today. He's 7.


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## PoptartShop

You darn right they are intimidated. LOL! :lol: I love it haha.
Dooley really does sound like such a fun (but big!) ride! Aww happy birthday Dante!  So cute.
I'm glad Frankie is doing better. The chiropractor will help her a lot. She's probably like 'MOM REALLY? DON'T YOU DARE GIVE ATTENTION TO ANOTHER! YOU ARE MY PERSON.' :lol: Too adorable!
Great photos.  They are just sooo cute & so BIG! Like tanks, my oh my! :rofl: I love it!

That San Juan stuff sounds good. Can't beat a good detangler. I need that for my own hair. :rofl:


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## frlsgirl

Great pics. Happy birthday Dante. Glad the Robaxin is helping Frankie; also, I didn't know that kissing spine is common? Is that something everyone should xray for during a PPE?


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## Tazzie

Eh, you can do homework later. I vote pony time!!

I'm glad everyone is doing well! YAY for no kissing spine! Hopefully the chiro gets her feeling better!

And tell me more about these products! I'm always on the hunt for something better :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Yes they are. A lot of weak, cowards but there are a lot of good guys out there too. It's just filtering through the garbage.

Also Frankie is just a special girl who NEEDS mommy time or she has a tantrum to make sure mommy is paying attention to her.

He's a really cool horse to ride. As he's gotten stronger he's gotten a lot easier to ride but I'm very thankful for the lessons he's teaching me. Such a smart horse with a great attitude. 

San juan has AMAZING products!!
https://www.scahealth.com/scah/browse/Equine-Equine-Equine-Grooming/_/N-1uks91q
___________________

Tanja- I wouldn't say kissing spine is the norm but it's not uncommon. Any horse can have it and it depends. If there is a reason to check for PPE, do it and robaxin is great.
___________________

Katie- lol except I always make time for pony time lol. 

Definitely. I hope she feels better soon. I want to work with her and ride her.

And the products

https://www.scahealth.com/scah/browse/Equine-Equine-Equine-Grooming/_/N-1uks91q
___________________

Update

I rode Friday yesterday, he was amazing! He's ridiculously smart, I swear he's read the manual. I think that horse could just walk up the levels. He is figuring out shoulder in and haunches in, in our small arena he leg yielded both ways from centerline to the wall. I showed him a few half pass steps and he got it. He can collect and lengthen. We did several canter transitions. I was just shocked, he's an AMAZING little horse! I think he's read the manual, all he needs is to be shown and conditioned. He just gets it, he's phenomenally talented. I really think even though he's little he could go far.

Dooley was really good as well. He feels sore. I'm putting a different saddle on him. I think the CWD makes him sore when he uses his whole back. I'm going to try my saddle on him. The more I've worked with foam panels the less I like them. They're so inflexible to adjusting to the horse's back and if the horses properly rounds it's back it doesn't allow them to come through and over as well. I'm just not a huge fan, they have to be EXACTLY and correctly fitted, else they need special pads and things. Plus foam panels are SO expensive to replace. I'm just not a fan.

I lunged Raphael over a cavaletti and he seems to love it. He actually has great form when he uses himself. I think he could have some talent as a jumper.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright update

Raphael gave me a hard time today. He was trying to refuse to turn left and refused to go forward and give me all kinds of trouble today, he was just out to say no. So I grabbed the oh sh!t strap, rode it out and made Raphael get over himself. He was just being obnoxious and a jerk but towards the end he had his wake up call and learned to listen and be respectful. He went quite well after he had his wake up call but it took everything I had to ride him today but it was a good lesson. We rode outside and we had someone there. on a horse who was good because in Raphael's protest against listening he almost ran into that horse. I mean he flat out refused to steer but towards the end he was listening, did as I asked, went forward, and obeyed rather than being a little brat. He wasn't in pain or any discomfort, just being a baby trying to see what he can get away with. But once he was good steered and went forward and back when I asked. I got off and gave him treats. It was only a 30min ride but I was shaking afterwards.

Just know when you watch these. This is a hard horse to ride. He's softened a lot and he is a really good horse and I love him. I'm so thankful for all that he's teaching me but he is HARD to ride well. When I say he's 18.2h, I'm not exaggerating or joking. He's by Donnerwetter, he's 21 years old and hasn't been doing a whole lot of this in a while so it's hard for him but he likes doing it. He has an incredible work ethic!! He takes a LOT to ride. When I got off of him, I was struggling to catch my breath and my whole body was shaking. I felt like I had just ran several miles and like I was going to pass out. I'm not exaggerating. This horse is AMAZING!! But he takes a lot to ride and put together. I think if I had more time to ride him and build strength in us both it would be really incredible. The girl filming has ridden him and she knows exactly how much he takes. He's SO strong and he is hard in the mouth. This horse has done some amazing things. He's jumped 4ft courses in his prime, he was jumped to death and he's still going. He is something truly remarkable and special. I feel so fortunate to have gotten a chance to ride and work with him.
















Then we hacked Frankie around outside and she LOVED it. She was wonderful out of the hack. I hadn't lunged her since Thursday, just hopped on, walked around the outdoor with Bailey and then we hacked around the fields together. It was a great time!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I was going to add on this video which I think was the last one. Just keep in mind by this point my muscles were getting really fatigued and I was having a hard time staying together and with him. I wish my phone didn't pick up my breathing noises so strongly. It's kind of embarrassing but he's a workout! I ate half a quart of soy cream after riding him! 






And this one is the last. The second and third are basically the same, I accidentally posted that. 

This is most likely my last time riding him for a while, it really was a treat and Dooley loved this, he didn't like the increased expectation of collection but he LOVES to work. After the ride he gave me a hug with his head and wanted to cuddle up. If he were a dog he'd be in my lap. And I am a little dramatic but gosh I wish he and I could keep at it a little bit. I'm getting so much stronger and he's getting so much stronger and he really enjoys this. He loves to work and he has such an amazing brain. My trainer always says imagine if we had him to start with as a 5yr old. No doubt he'd be a GP horse. No doubt in any of our minds but he jumps phenomenally well too. Even at this age (he jumps under 2'6) but he looks like he'd be hard to stay with he has a MASSIVE, beautiful jump and he LOVES that too. 

I wanted to take a lesson on him but unfortunately my trainer was out of town. Should have kept my elbows pinned to my ribs, that would have helped but gosh he is hard to sit lol. Dante was really hard to sit too but they're different style of movers. Dante was like being shot up into the rafters. Like a hard push and shove into the air but Dooley is like this massive huge moving frake train that difficult to organize, everywhere at once and keep together while he's bracing hard against you and you're struggling to keep yourself together and allow yourself to move enough with him but not so much that he takes off with you because he will. If you don't hold yourself together he takes off like a rocket. There is almost nothing about him that rides like an older horse that has had hard use. But he also goes out on field at least 8hrs a day and is in a regular work program and has been re-schooled in dressage since his jumper days.

He kicked my butt. I was without a doubt more exhausted than he was.


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## PoptartShop

You actually look GREAT! Riding such a big horse like that, you don't look bad at all. I'm sure he did make you exhausted, I can't even imagine. LOL all that horsepower, literally. :lol: If you ever need a workout, Dooley is the one! He does look like a lot of horse to ride. I'd be all over the place, no doubt.
That's good you got Raphael to get over himself. Definitely sounds like he was being a jerk on purpose/testing you because he's a youngin'!
The 'oh sh!t' strap is a lifesaver.  Glad you had a good ride on Frankie, too! Awww. Was probably so nice to get outside for a change.  Change of scenery is always nice.


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## frlsgirl

Wow you look really good together. What a treat to ride such an accomplished horse! And a workout too! I feel the same way when I ride Dante, the BO's Hanno. I feel like I want to puke when I'm done riding him; it's quite a jump from 14'3 to 16'2 so I'm sure it's the same for you riding 16 something horses on a regular basis and then jumping onto an 18 something horse. Good to hear that Frankie was so good on her hack. That was Ana's favorite thing at the old barn. It's good for them to see and do something different.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad you got Raphael over himself! Naughty boy! But you and Dooley look great  the big ones can be SO hard to organize! I had the joy of riding a nice 17.3 hand gelding when I was younger, who would rather nap than go forward :lol: took a lot to ride him! Handsome man Khir, imported Dutch Warmblood. Then Kincaide, the 18 hand 3 year old. He was just a hot mess of legs everywhere and no balance :lol: I miss those guys! But makes me happier to have my little powerhouse that doesn't take much to get her going forward :lol:

But your videos are great


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Thank you. I love this horse! He makes you work for it but he's so rewarding to ride and so eager to please. He's a total sweetheart. Nothing at all like riding an older horse. A big moving, forward thinking, powerhouse who is sensitive and eager to please. But he's definitely a workout to organize, especially because he's a bit rusty but he kicked my butt. I have abs from riding babies and him. Dante gave me abs too though lol Dante was really hard to ride, physically challenging but mentally just a butt head lol.

But definitely! the ohsh!t strap is SO handy, I appreciate it! Especially on horses like Raphael! And you described exactly, he was just trying to see what he could get away with and test his limits.

But thank you. Frankie is a doll. She has her sassy moments and she has opinions and she's definitely a baby but she's a very polite, well meaning, sweet girl! She is a very smart girl!
_____________

Tanja- Part of it is Dooley really isn't in shape for this kind of work. He's being ridden by a teen atm who is sweetheart and learning on him but he's always on the forehand and never really asked to collect or sit or do these exercises. He tends to evade by going laterals and we got past quite a bit of that but getting him to travel straight and through took some work. He's very restrictive in his rib cage or was he got a lot better over the week. He's also pretty hard in the bridle just from not really being asked to supple or soften and he's used to running on his forehand, so getting him to sit back takes a lot. I don't think it'd be an issue if Mari and I rode him all the time but that's kinda how it is if you're a "pro" and ride other people's horses. You're always "retraining" but you can see the lack of strength especially in the canter. He's not strong enough to carry himself like that, in a few weeks I think he would be but when we started he had a tendency to take off in the canter and I had to use some STRONG half halts and circle to help keep him on his hind end. It was just really hard for him. But you can see how I tried to leg yield left canter and he fell out. He's not strong enough and part of why he's so strong to ride is he was used in a college and really had to fend for himself, so he's very protecting of himself and it takes some convincing to let him trust you and allow your to balance him. When I'd position he used to ignore it because he thought I was just losing my balance or if I asked him to soften his jaw, he thought I was just pulling so I had to use more pressure + add laterals, he softened. I give him the bit and constantly pushing him to it, so I can use more fingers vs back/shoulders and arm to get suppleness. If that makes any sense? But definitely a treat. He knows but he's rusty.

But definitely it takes a lot to get used to riding/organizing what you're not used to. For me I'm used to riding something I've broke and trained and they're pretty responsive but learning vs riding something someone else has trained and has had so many different riders and disciplines thrown at him. He's very goey, his tendency is to take off on the forehand and get rigid, rather than shut down. 

But definitely I think hacking is great for all horses! It's soothing and gives them something else to think about that's relaxing and pleasant. Keeping the horse's happiness and desire is number one!
____________

Katie- Me too. I was ticked. At that point he was just being a pig and trying to take advantage of my kindness and trying to test my limits but he ****ed me off and had a rude wake up call that he doesn't get to call the shots and run into horses just because he's mad about being told where to go. He was very frustrating to say the least.

Thank you. He's been teaching me a lot and really forcing me to get my body together. I still need to get stronger to ride him better but he's happy with me. 

And yes the big guys are hard to organize, especially if they have a lot of movement. Glad you had those handsome boys to work with! But they're fun too, unless they're an 18h baby with NO self awareness than that's scary! I've ridden big Frisian crosses who you had to steer or they'd run into the wall but they were dumb as a post and stupid spooky/anxious. Like they'd spook and almost fall over. 

But good thing about Dooley is he's super sensitive to forward aids, it's the half halting and suppling and bending that's difficult. He always has a motor and if he's not organized he just takes off. But yes the little guys are fun too! I think any horse that's eager to please and tries is a treasure to work with! 

But thank you. I'm proud of us. I wish I had more time so we could both get stronger and better put together but for one week of him not being together in a while and me not riding something other than a baby for a while was good for us!
____________

Not much update. I will be riding Friday later tonight and need to catch up on my schoolwork. I have a lot coming up *yikes* 

I have had thoughts of maybe eventually becoming a professional but I don't know yet. I've just had thoughts and been encouraged. I've been told it wouldn't take much to get me going PSG if I had a schooled horse but all mine are babies lol. One day though. 

Frankie sees the chiropractor tomorrow and gets her saddle fitted to her. It needs more taken out in the back to sit right on her back. She comes up quite a lot behind the saddle and it pushes me forward and the saddle onto her shoulders. Just frustrated with the whole saddle thing. But Dooley loves my saddle better than his own. I rode him in Frankie's saddle. He likes the flocking better than the foam, I think.


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## Tazzie

Sure sounds that way! Thank goodness for your strap :lol: mine is required on every saddle I ride :lol:

That's good!

Yeah, they were fun. Khir's favorite gait was "whoa", but he was fun when you got him going. Loved that horse. The big baby just needed to learn. He did get better, but ended up HATING Dressage. He was sold as a fox hunter and loved every minute of it. He was just a special baby.

You're welcome 

And that's a question you'll have to figure out yourself :lol: I do think you're good, and would do fine as a professional. But it'll be your choice :lol:

Hopefully Frankie feels better and that you get the saddle sorted out! And that wouldn't be surprising. I bet it's more comfortable to him!


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## PoptartShop

I think you'd be a great professional.  You do have a lot of experience, babies aren't the easiest to ride/train! Plus you ride not just one horse, so you definitely have experience.  You will make the right decision! 

Yeah, saddle fitting is super frustrating. I hope it works out & she gets it fit to her liking. :smile: I bet he does like it better than his own. He's probably like oh, this? This is what I'm missing out on? :lol:

Good luck with your schoolwork. I hope you have a good ride on Friday!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie-I definitely needed it for that ride. Raphael was just being a bully, he entirely knew what I was asking for and deliberately went out of his way to disobey. He had a good wake up call though and ended up being obedient and respectful but couldn't have done it without the bucking strap. He pitched quite the fit hoping I'd back off.

And some of them just don't enjoy dressage and need a job change to suit them. 

It'll be a ways away before I go down that road, if I do. I need to get more credentials under my belt and show ring accomplishments because atm I have basically no show record because I've been trying 10 years to have a show season because either I was too poor or didn't have a horse that could show or mostly being too poor or lacking a horse to show. But that's a frustration of my whole riding career lol. 

I really want her to feel better, she doesn't seem unhappy. She's quite cheerful but I want her back to feel better so we can work together and progress. And I think so. I think the foam blocks their back and pinches when they really bend or come over their top line. Saddle fit matters because we're asking our horses to use their whole back and give us their whole self, if that's blocked then they can't use themselves as well. 
_______________

Allison- Thank you. I think I could be with more under my belt first. I ride better than quite a few "professionals" in my area, particularly as I've had to fix horses after they've had them in their program a while but I've ridden a lot of different horses. In the last few years I've ridden well over 100 different horses. Down the road I think Id like to but not atm.

It really is. The saddle fits her a lot better now but we want to get her back fixed before the saddle it totally finished. And he did. I think it's because the saddle is wool flocked vs foam. I really think the foam, if it doesn't fit perfectly blocks their back and doesn't allow them to bend or use their back fully because there is no give or breathe to it, if that makes sense. Where as the wool can move or allow movement vs a hard pressure spot when they bend. If that makes sense?

And thank you. It's been brutal. I HATE computer science atm. It makes me want to jump off a cliff. It's ridiculously hard!! I like everything else though.
_______________

Not a big update.

Frankie's saddle has been fitted more to her but she's going to need the serapin injection to help her back. I really want to ride my own horse and take lessons on my horse and work with her. Especially now her saddles been fitted more to her. I just want to ride my own horse lol. 

Friday was really good last ride. We worked more on laterals and improving his way of going. 

I'm no longer riding Dooley but I need to get a lot stronger in my body. I felt sloppy riding him. He is a MASSIVE mover and he is pretty bouncy, the older guys are a little stiffer but I need to get stronger, so I can sit quieter and stiller. I think apart of it is also that I ride exclusively young horses atm who are quite green and I'm good at that. I'm good at developing horses but I really hope when Pam comes back I might be able to take some lessons on school masters too to really work on myself. I want to work on my timing of the changes and improving my body control, so I can school the babies better. I'm always looking to progress and work hard. 

Also if I do eventually go down the professional route, I need to get more showing under my belt first with at least my bronze medal, if not silver medal too and I'd like to go through the "L" program just to learn more about what judges are looking for.

A friend had offered me to ride her mare to get my bronze medal this summer but I don't think I'll have the funds for that as I'd like to get Frankie out a few times (she's not having a real show season) as she'll be a 4yr old but I'd like to get her out a few times

My friend asked me to go to England with her and I REALLY want to go. We'd be going to an equestrian trade show in January. But I want to go SO bad. It depends on what it'd all cost but I've always wanted to go to England lol. I've been to Germany for riding. I was about an hour south of Bremen (where my family is from). But I've always wanted to tour Europe for a horsey adventure and focus on more the local spots, rather than the touristy areas.

I keep going back to these video of Frankie and I because I want to ride her so badly lol and feel like she's happy and for us to be a team again. I haven't really ridden her in over a month and I know it could be worse, I just miss riding my horse.























I'm grateful for the time I had to ride Dooley but I wish I could have had more time for us both to get stronger and going better together.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Friday was really good last night. We tried a different saddle. The reason he sends me so much to the right is with his right hind he crosses that leg behind and with his left leg he carries that pretty straight when he travels. Going right because he wants to lean so hard onto his right shoulder (I always have to remind him not to) going right to canter, I post on the opposite diagnol and ask for canter in the up phase of the post. I've leg yielded him out, shoulder in into canter but opposite diagnol posting is the only thing that works atm and that's fine, when he's stronger it shouldnt be like that. He's a good little guy but the right front is the one that he had surgery on as a yearling. Under saddle he doesn't lean like he does on the lunge line. 

Frankie's back is still swollen. I did some in hand work with her last night which she seemed to enjoy. I thought we could still work on her coordination and understanding of aids, so ground leg yields, shoulders in, turn on the forehand, turn on the haunches. Trotting in hand, backing up, etc. She likes to work her brain. She seemed to enjoy it. She was also full of energy and in hand trotting tried to explode into a canter lol. She's FINALLY getting longer in her back and is still butt high but is evening up. She's a growing girl. We'll likely be doing serapin or meso injections on Tuesday. 

I had really bad acid reflux last night. It was bad, my esophagus felt burnt (from chest to throat) I couldn't sleep for over 2 hours. I was pacing and tried to get it under control but I ended up waiting it out. I was surprised by how painful it was, I was almost in tears and I havent had acid reflux in a LONG time. I hope this does not become a common occurrence. I'm pretty sleep deprived and exhausted this morning. It still doesn't feel quite right but at least it's tolerable discomfort and not burning agony lol.

I have a TON to do in computer science and don't even know where to start. I honestly hate computer science. I just hate it. And unfortunately I'm the kind of person where if I don't enjoy something or I'm not interested in something at all, it's almost impossible to get myself to do it or even care about it. Focus becomes impossible, as in I can stare at it for hours and not accomplish much of anything because I flat out don't want to do it but have to. If that makes sense. I hate computer science, it frustrates me to no end and honestly just isn't enjoyable. Whenever I work on it, I honestly want to shave all my hair off and jump off a cliff. I HATE it. I like math, I like physics but computer science just for whatever reason doesn't click with me. I blame aspergers lol what I'm good at, I'm really good at and what I'm not it's like I have a mental block and can't get it. What's easy for most people is RIDICULOUSLY hard for me but what is hard for most people comes naturally to me usually but oh well. Cant be good at everything. My theory on why I hate computer science so much is it's a LOT of tedious, mind boggling, frustrating work with almost no reward or relief, just more aggravation until it's done and you don't have to look at it anymore. I'm a dumb smart person I guess. My brain just grrr I swear it's run by squirrels throwing a party. Aspergers is also very frustrating at time because of how my brain processes information, I don't interpret or see things like a normal person and it just makes things that are this specific but at the same time this ambiguous so ridiculously difficult.


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## PoptartShop

Aww, I'm sure you do miss riding your girl!  The injection should help her though, and I'm glad the saddle will be fitting her better. Hopefully time goes by quickly so you can get on her again! <3 Of course you're reminiscing watching videos of her, she's your baby! :smile: So cute.

Awesome you had a good ride on Friday too. 

Omg, England sounds like FUN! I've also always wanted to go there.  Plus, I can really do a good fake British accent haha. That would be a fun time & good experience. I hope you do get to go! You deserve a nice getaway, especially a far far away one. Would be nice to get away.

Oh no, acid reflex is a pain. I've had it before, it's not fun. I hope it doesn't come back today. Ouch. I've taken Prevacid for it before, it helps a little. I totally understand about the computer science thing too. If you aren't interested in something or looking forward to it, you're not really going to put much into it. Totally agree. I hope the class ends soon! I hate that, doing so much work/tedious stuff for what??? Like nothing! :lol: Try to get through it the best you can, even though I'm sure it's not fun at all. There's always that one class that's like...NOPE.


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## frlsgirl

And we are back to parallel lives; I woke up at 3am with my stomach on fire; had to take an acid reducer and spent another hour trying to get comfortable so that I could go back to sleep, just in time for my alarm to go off at 6am. I feel so hung over today.

I also haven't ridden my girl in a while....since early March not counting the lameness evaluation rides a week ago. It's tough. I just want to take her for a spin so badly; and I think she wants me to take her for a ride but it's not safe with all of her neuro problems atm. Sorry Frankie's back is still sore. I wish saddle makers would come up with a saddle that grows with your horse. Well at least you still have access to ride other horses so you are not having to give up on riding all together just because your horse is in the shop.

Good luck with all of your computer science work.


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## Tazzie

I'm sure you'll get your fitness back!

And ohhh, the trip to England sounds super fun! Hopefully you can make that happen!

I hope the injections for Frankie help, poor pony. And that you can get her out a few times this year! You definitely need a show season! Hopefully this one will start it off, even if it is just a few shows!

I'm glad Friday was so good! Yay good ponies!! Sorry you had bad reflux though :sad: hopefully you feel better soon! And that you get through computer science quickly!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- I really do. I miss working with her. It's a neat bond riding develops, it's real communication and a real conversation. 

I REALLY want to go! I LOVE to travel and escape reality for a while. I guess I'm always trying to escape reality, it's so confining and restrictive.

Acid reflux is AWFUL but I entirely agree. There are some things you just couldn't care less about and you KNOW it's important but you just don't care that much. It sucks but it's life lol. 
_______________

Tanja- Oh gosh! I'm SO sorry to hear that! It's intensely painful, I'm sorry that happened! And sleep deprivation isn't pleasant at all! I was screwing up basic arithmetic in my head! 

I hope Ana feels better soon and it'd be nice if saddles could be made to follow the horse's changes but unfortunately it'd be very difficult to really do.
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Katie-I hope so. The horses are working me pretty hard. I always come off panting with wobbily legs lol. 

Thank you. I really hope so! I really want to go on an adventure, go somewhere, do something that isn't so mundane.

I hope so!! This year I just wanted to get her out a few times and give her exposure and confidence building situations. I hope the injections help her out too!

It's alright. It'll solve itself when it's meant to! And thanks. I really just don't enjoy it. It's a TON of work for minimal reward.
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Update

I'm riding Dooley this weekend because his leasee is out of town. I rode him yesterday and he was quite stiff from not being ridden in a few days, poor guy. So the ride was very light and loose. No pressure. I just got him loosened up and got off and did some stretches with him. I think he felt better afterwards, his posture was better. Poor guy :-/ he's so cuddly, he wanted lots of pets and love. He actually has a personality very similar to Frankie. Total cuddle bug.

Friday is a little back sore. I think from us trying different saddles to make him feel more comfortable and them not quite fitting. I hope he feels better. I stretched him as well and am playing around with saddles that might work for him. He's VERY sensitive and is SO wide but has NO wither and a far back shoulder. 

Frankie's back is doing better. The heat is going away. I've been stretching her and doing in hand work to help her feel better. I also went through her pedigree and did a little math and found out Frankie is 51% thoroughbred/hot blood (I included anglo arabians, shagya arabians, and arabians which are a smaller proportion but make up the 51%). She has a lot of trakehner, selle francais, hanoverian, french trotter, anglo norman, east prussian and I can't remember what else but it was neat to map out and look at. Took a while but beat doing schoolwork which is honestly overwhelming me. The thing I feel the need to point out too is warmblood descend from heavy warmbloods, not draft or plow horses and have purposefully been bred for sport for generations with lots of cross breeding with hot blood and various warmblood/trotter types. 

Raphael was jumped by a professional a few days ago. He seems to really like it. I think he likes doing different things. I'm still riding in the wintec which I absolutely HATE. It's not the worst saddle I've ever ridden in but they just put your balance off so unless you hold yourself in, you can't have basic balance and even then it's painful. When I was done riding Raphael in it, I was in a LOT of pain. I'm always in pain, so it's nothing new but I was in a lot of pain. I was having a hard time moving, I was just so stiff. He's a little stiff too. I haven't ridden him since Sunday but he was ridden Wednesday for jumping. You can see the stiffness on the right, it's his weaker side but coordination was a struggle right. 










I went and saw Beauty and the Beast this morning which was AMAZING!! I was pleasantly surprised by how incredible it was!! Truly a cinematic masterpiece. The costumes, the acting, the story, the details, the pragmatic approach with historical/literary references. It was just beautiful! I was SO SO SO impressed. It was well beyond my expectations, I honestly can't watch any other movies for a while because they just pale in comparison. lol I apologize if that sounded a little pretentious. I was just so impressed! I'm really amazed by it, it was SO beautiful. The only sad thing is living in it and returning to the world of the mundane when you were just on an adventure of magic, hope, loss and happiness. You'll feel a full range of emotions.

Friday, Raphael with professional jumper and Frankie. Frankie is actually related to Dooley. Dooley is Frankie's great Uncle, not that it's a big deal but they have quite a few noticable similarities conformation, riding, and personality wise which is pretty interesting.


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## whisperbaby22

I'm glad you enjoyed the movie - I guess there was a reason it did so well at the box office! I have a problem with watching anything with a shaky camera, so a lot of this new stuff I just cannot watch. If you like fantasy, try to see one of my old favorites, Flash Gordon. Yes the technology is not there, but the story is. And you can't beat the music.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Whisperbaby22- I'm not sure if it'd be overwhelming or not but it's very sensational. Good plot, good characters, absolutely beautiful, great fantasy and I don't know how to describe it other than sensational and so incredible, it makes like seem dull lol. It's really the character and the story that is so mesmerizing. I LOVE fantasy, I love history, I love literary references with intelligent, strong heroines and interesting, dynamic fully dimensional characters.

I don't believe I've seen flash Gordon.
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This literally made me cry. I could relate to her quite a lot and this is why she is my favorite rider and why I admire her SO much. She has such an incredible attitude, mindset and she's SO down to earth. And it's just a love of the sport and a love of the horses, not so much a love of herself or blind arrogance. This is really a rags to riches story. Valegro was a 4000 dollar horse, Charlotte was from a middle class family. Grew up on ponies, riding through fields and going through working student positions and truly how amazing how many opportunities Carl gave her as well. Carl is truly a generous, amazing human being. He has an INCREDIBLE story as well. And this is why I LOVE the british. They have my favorite dressage system of training because it's always about the horse first and it's all a systematic progression in training of just go out there and do it, heck it's okay to mess up but LEARN from it. NOBODY is perfect and I LOVE that mind set and approach. Like oh well you made a mistakes, do it better the next time. It's okay! I relate to her a lot and she's truly an inspiration and quite possibly a hero of mine, her and Carl both. I am so glad she was chosen for gold in 2012 over Adelinde Cornellisen. I much prefer Charlotte and Carl's style of riding and how their horses go over the dutch tension and trick training methods. They've really transformed dressage and how it's ridden. Big promoters of the sport and I am so grateful to them both!

I have ordered Frankie a browband, it should be here any day
This is what I bought, except the gold part is a dark gold because everything on Frankie pops SO SO much on her face.
Garnet and light colorado browband - Equiture

Gold pearl and smoke topaz browband - Equiture

The big color in the center is garnet and the outside color is smoke topaz. So center of the top and the outer color of the bottom link.

Rode Dooley yesterday. He felt better but I think he may need to see the chiropractor but it's not my call to make. His hip isn't level. It wasn't when I started riding him, so I don't think it's my fault but I think it's part of it. He wasn't bad at all, he's just not as good as he was going last week. He's definitely stronger. Good god the extensions from yesterday were at least twice the size of last week and with SO SO SO much more power and stride and I was able to sit that! I was shocked, I was probably a little sloppy because it is SO SO SO big. 18.2h powerhouse horse and having a MASSIVE stride even for his size is just HUGE. And navigating in a small arena. I may try to ride him outside today.

I lunged Frankie last night she's feeling a LOT better. Her stuff from Germany FINALLY arrived after a 2 month wait. It's really beautiful.

Burgundy and dark green. I bought her pony polos in one and horse in the other because the horse ones are SO ridiculously long and the pony ones fit her PERFECTLY. German and Dutch polos are ridiculously long. It drives me nuts and Im hesitant to cut my horse size ones but I probably will today because the length is so long I had to wrap them around Dooley's legs a few loops at the top and he has THICK legs. He doesn't have as long of cannon bones as Frankie but he's much thicker of bone. Frankie is very typey, very thoroughbredy in a lot of respects but she has a lot of thoroughbred blood. Also irritates me because on Gracie's pedigree, the pedigree at her inspection was the wrong one, her sire is by 

Gracie's sire is by Glorieux not Grunstein. I see a lot of this stallion in Gracie, as well as Dev and Francesca. He was 17.3h. This stallions trot is a lot like Gracie's was. Gracie had a 10 walk, it was a phenomenal walk. She had HUGE gaits and back breaking canter. She was a powerhouse. And Frankie is too. When she's developed and stronger, I can't even imagine the amount of power she's going to have. I saw her show a snap shot of what she might look like more developed yesterday. She was pretty spicy/hot yesterday which is I was like I HOPE you ride like this. I hope this is what you ride like when I get back on. She was so up and sat so much, it was WOAH there is a lot in there that can be developed. Dressage horses are made, they are also born but the most talented horse wont be great unless well developed. I don't think Valegro would be what he is if it weren't for Charlotte and Carl. Not that Frankie and I are anywhere near that kind of talent/quality but just as an example. I'm thinking a lot about this because I really want to develop Frankie and I'm so excited to develop her and to get better to do well by her. She's going to make me a rider, I can tell. Dante taught me a lot of tact and a lot about riding. His trot was the hardest trot I've ever sat. He was SO bouncy, the more powerful and developed he became and the more he sat and engaged it felt like being shot straight up into the rafters. It was quite hard on my back but Frankie has MUCH bigger paces and a lot of power but she's a lot smoother than Dante, not so rough on my back but as she develops I have no idea. They change SO SO much from 3 to developed and she's still maturing and physically quite weak compared to what she will become. She's a powerhouse, I'm hoping she'll have something like Dooley's power. Dooley, I really think had he been developed for dressage and in the right hands he could have been an international quality horse. He's that powerful and that kind of quality. The difference in his extensions from last week to yesterday were like OMG and his trot felt OMG huge last week but this week was like a great deal more thrust, stride and lift. It was WOW. My back hurt afterwards but I sat it fairly well. Just took a lot out of me.






Frankie's sire Furstenball.




First pictures is of Frankie's mom. She competed to 3rd-4th level dressage but wasn't well treated and I'll leave it at that. She's a trail horse now. But the rest are Frankie and Dooley in the eskradon stuff. I buy from Germany because it's WAY WAY more affordable than over here. Over here it'd be 50+ a piece per item, in Germany it's about half that.


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## frlsgirl

Glad you're getting more time on Dooley. The new colors look great on Frankie; glad her back is starting to feel better.


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## PoptartShop

Frankie & Dooley look great in those colors. Love the gear.  So cute.
Wow, her parents were stunning!! 

Hmm, maybe the chiro will help Dooley as well. That's pretty cool him & Frankie are related! :lol: I love the photos & videos as well. They're all so gorgeous! 
That browband will look lovely on her too. Glad to hear her back is improving as well. Yay!

I want to see Beauty & The Beast. Maybe I'll check it out this coming weekend.


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## Tazzie

Glad to hear her back is doing better! Yay! Hopefully Dooley gets seen, it'd be good for him!

Everyone looks so good all dressed up! Cute ponies!! You'll have to message me the link to where you buy your stuff (I swear I'll respond later on Facebook; didn't get much of a chance to be on Facebook this weekend!)

I totally want to see Beauty & The Beast. One day...

Frankie is going to look gorgeous in her new browband!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja-Thanks I am too. I enjoy riding him. I didnt' do as much this week because I've been struggling to find a saddle that makes him happy and he's just not comfortable in saddles that don't fit right. 

But thank you. I'm still having her back done tomorrow but she's definitely feeling better!
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Allison- Thank you! I think so too!

And I think so. I liked Gracie. I haven't met Furstenball though lol. He wasn't at the barn I was at in Germany.

But thank you  Beauty and the Beast was really good! You wont be disappointed. I think I'm going to see it again!
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Katie- I really hope Dooley gets seen but it's not my call and thank you. I'm glad she's feeling better too.

I sent you the link. I love that company!!

It is well worth the money and time. It's AMAZING!!

I think so. It arrives today, so I hope to take some pictures of her in it tonight!
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Going through another depression cycle. It's not been pretty. I've written some of my most beautiful lines but unfortunately didn't put them to paper and have forgotten part of it. I'm trying to peace part of it together because it was poetic. That is the one saving grace of depression. It's really not good, I have NO energy and feel very apathetic and lethargic. I've had many thoughts of sleeping and never waking up because it's the only time I feel at ease. A lot of the typical crippling thoughts, coupled with doubt, self hatred, frustration, anger, and tears. And wanting to get lost in stories and runaway from reality and all the fun tricks of the mind to strand you in anguish. The silver lining again is my best writing comes out when I'm depressed. It's truly an awful feeling. It's somewhat about sadness but mostly about a lack of faith in life and hopelessness, self defeating thoughts and an inability to feel joy or hope. Very apathetic atm and not at all proud of it. Not at all claiming it's a good thing and not at all wanting attention for it. I just want to honestly write some of my thoughts. Not all of them but enough to communicate. I feel like a total moron, a complete idiot and too stupid to get through computer science. I don't get it, it doesn't make sense to me and I hate doing it. It means nothing to me, it doesn't interest me at all and it angers me I can't stay focused if I have NO interest. I can't make myself just do it. I used to have strong will power and I've tried but I'm tired of fighting and making myself do things that make me miserable. 

I'm also very aware of how fortunate and blessed I am just to be in this country and to have a horse. I am not ungrateful or without gratitude. A lot of people seem to think depression comes from self pitty and lack of appreciation, not at all. It stems from the mind and an imbalance of chemicals/hormones in the brain. I can't help it and I'm SO SO SICK of fighting SO SO hard to get no where, just to feel ashamed and disgusted with myself because I can't will myself through it. I'm sick of fighting so hard to be knocked down over and over again. You get tired, overwhelmed and just want it to stop.

I literally found myself asking in all honesty, what is the point of waking up to live a meaningless existence. Struggling day in and day out, asking myself is this all there is to life? This can't be it. And people may say dont be so melodramatic but in all seriousness I wonder what the point of all this is. But I'm also someone who is persistently asking WHY, WHY, WHY. What's the point? 

I HATE computer science with an unbelievable passion. I feel nothing for it. Any time I spent on it is painful, making myself do it makes me want to cry and smash my head through something. I hate it SO much. I flat out hate doing it. It's SO SO SO much work for no reward but to have it done with.I hate it.

I have a lesson on Frankie tonight and her new browband finally arrived.

Raphael was AMAZING last night, the best he's ever been. He was a pleasure to work with. I need to find him a new saddle because he can't canter well in it and the wintec is causing me so much pain. I can't ride him well in it. It's an awful saddle, it's owner hates it too but it fits her horse. 

We can't find a saddle that works for Friday and his back is sore from trying so many different saddles on him. I'm having a hard time finding a saddle that fits Dooley too. Mine fit but it's been flocked to Frankie and doesn't fit him right anymore (it bounces behind and I tried shims but nope). It's just so frustrating because they can't do their best or use their whole self if when they have the right reaction and try the saddle punishes them by putting pressure into their back. 

I tried riding Dooley in his saddle but it doesn't work. At canter he is just swapping leads and cross firing, he's not comfortable in it. And I HATE french saddles, I can't stand foam either. Every horse I've ridden so far in a foam saddle is fine in the short term then just cant use themselves correctly, if their back changes at all those saddles stop fitting and puts hard pressure points into their back. I'm just not a fan of antares, hermes or devoucoux.

Frankie lunging last night. She's stronger right then left. Before this I had bathed her and taken her for walk she was leaping in the air, double barrel bucking, rearing and passaging. Took quite a bit to keep her from taking off. We also walked over a cavaletti. She jumped it once and had great form. She could be a cute jumper lol except for her long pasterns, it might not be so good for her. But she had perfect even knees, tucked her legs up and used her back and neck very well. I was impressed. She seemed to enjoy it because she was happy after walking over it. I'm hoping she stays "hot" like this. She's really clever and quick thinking/responsive or has been. I hope she is like that undersaddle tonight. I like sharp, sensitive but reasonable.


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## Tazzie

I'm checking out both links today!! Poor Nick :lol:

The browband is stunning on her too. Perfect compliment for her  and she looks amazing!

I'm sorry you're going through this right now. I'm not at all familiar with the feeling, but I'm here if you just need to vent or something. I can help in any way possible.

Hopefully you'll be finished with the computer science course SOON so you never have to deal with it again!!


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## PoptartShop

Love love LOVE the new browband.  Glad you finally got to ride your girl Frankie last night.  I hope Friday, Raphael & Dooley get new saddles that fit soon. It is difficult when they don't, it makes everything difficult. Of course everyone wants to be comfortable. Fingers crossed! 3 saddles is a lot to look for, ack! That's good despite all that, Raphael was good though. 

I am so sorry to hear about your depression. I am also not familiar with it firsthand, but I know a few people that have it & I struggle with anxiety issues myself, so I can understand. It's not something you can control. I totally get it.  *hugs*

That stupid class isn't making anything any easier either. I can't wait until it's over for you!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- lol they're both great places to look at and for what you get, it's a great deal!!

Thank you. I think she looks great in it!

But thank you kindly  I generally don't vent a lot. I turn a lot of it inside or pour it into something. Sometimes I want to talk, sometimes I don't. My friend's husband offered me some really good advice, he's a therapist and poet, so it was pretty helpful but for the most part I dont' feel comfortable branching out and it has nothing to do with the other person, it's just me.

I hope so too. I can't wait to NEVER look at it again.
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Allison- Thank you. I'm really glad I got to ride Frankie and she was as good as she was. She made me so happy. Sitting on her felt magical. Like returning home after a long journey away. I prefer how she feels undersaddle vs the other horses. She's SO light and narrow. She feels like riding a nice thoroughbred to be honest and I spent much of my career on thoroughbreds, so it's like returning home lol. But unfortunately I dont get a say in the other horses saddle. Pam should be back and bring back a saddle for Friday and Raphael but Dooley isn't my horse, so I may try another shim combination with Frankie's saddle but I don't want to change it too much because it's Frankie's saddle flocked to her and don't want to make it not fit her. 

Thank you. Anxiety isn't fun either. Anxiety and depression are a powerful combo of intolerable dysfunction and helplessness. But thank you. I'm sorry you have anxiety as well :-/ it's no fun!

Me too! I never want to code again, if I don't have to. I hate it.
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I wrote a full response and the *string of swear words* computer erased the whole [email protected] thing. 

I think I have a concussion. Frankie kneed me in the skull pretty hard yesterday. It was an accident because she is SUPER ancy in cross ties but hurrah. I feel so lucky...not. I'm used to being in chronic pain or having something weird going on, so it's not a big deal but gets in the way of schoolwork because my brain is a little scrambled atm.

I'm glad you both don't understand depression, I hope you never experience it. It's a dark place. The only silver lining in it is the increased creativity and the unique inner perspective that lets you face the worst of yourself in an honest and real way. It gives you an opportunity to face what you don't recognize normally. I wouldn't wish depression on anyone. I can be pretty darn hilarious if I am aloud to say so myself but I can make most anyone laugh and I think it's because I like seeing people happy. I think the witicism and remarks come from depression. 

I've taken up writing again. I used to write a lot and was fairly good but I'm writing again because I feel like I have to escape reality and poor myself into something passionate. I'm not much of a poet but I can communicate stories and emotions. 

A few short video from last night. Just remember Frankie is 3 and hadn't really been ridden in almost or over a month. She needs to re-learn how to carry a rider, work into a contact (so not a lot of suppling or half halting) just enough to help her balance and keep a rhythm. She just needs to remember how to go forward when asked, work into a contact and balance while carrying a rider. And she was really good, Im really proud of her.


















Some pictures in the new browband. I will be getting her a new bridle at some point. I don't like how much this one overwhelms her face. She needs something a bit daintier. The bridle looks great on the boys but I don't like it on her.

These are the two bridles I'm looking at because she doesn't like the standard fit. I tried a non rolled bridle on her and didn't like the look on her. She has a really delicate face

Bridle Flying Change Deluxe Revolution - www.psofsweden.com
Rolled Leather Bridle | English Tack Shop | Calgary | Alberta | Canada


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## frlsgirl

The new brow band is gorgeous; she is going to look like the queen of the ring!

Sorry you are going through a depression cycle right now; I was really depressed in January; now I'm just filled with anxiety; my mind likes to spin on things and create all kinds of what if scenarios, never really finding an answer, just spinning around and around. An opportunity presented itself recently that has since passed; I couldn't even see it as such, instead it was just another thing that was cluttering up my brain. Hang in there and know that you are not alone. What's helped with both my anxiety and depression is medication; sure there are other things I can do that help, like getting up and stretching, breathing exercises, going for a nice relaxing trail ride, or jogging around the building, or even forcing myself to think positive thoughts, but nothing works like meds. Have you considered talking to your doctor? Maybe it's time to adjust the dosage?

***not a med pusher, lol; just speaking from personal experience.


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## Tazzie

How much longer do you have in that dreaded class?? Hopefully not a ton longer.

I think Frankie looks fabulous, especially after such time off. Don't be so hard on yourself (I know; easier said than done.) But really. You guys look AMAZING.

I understand. But if you need anyone, you know how to reach me. Just wanted to make sure you knew I was here.

She looks stunning in it! As for bridles, my vote is for the second one, the Schockemohle. While the first is nice, I think the patent leather would be just a bit much on her face. I think the more subdued look of the Schockemohle would look perfect. That and I want that bridle now as well :lol:


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## PoptartShop

Wow she is stunning in that new browband! I love it.  She looks beautiful! You guys always look lovely. Especially with her being off for awhile, what a comeback.  So cute! She has such a beautiful face. Slay girl! LOL
The first one has a browband like Redz has. :lol: 

I like the second one as well. Nothing wrong with the first one, but I think the second would look best on her.


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## whisperbaby22

Bridles interest me since I make my own. When I was a kid, english bridles were much simpler and therefore I do not like the "clunky" look popular today. One observation is that all the ergonomic fittings they are incorporating into these bridles do well for the horse that is modeling them. Your own horse may be off a hair at any point, which would make the fittings uncomfortable. In a perfect world, each horse would have a custom bridle (and bit). 

As for depression and all it's side effects, you are so young and what you are going through is partly the product of an intelligent mind. Not to infer that "dumb" people are happy idiots, but you have done so much with your life that it is bound to cause introspection. The advice of an old lady is to keep looking. It may be a book, a lecture, or even just a personal revelation but it will come if you keep looking.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Thank you. I think so! I think it'll look a lot better on her when I eventually buy her new bridle. I just don't want to right now with all the bills that are coming.

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Mental health is something so difficult to work with and it's always a struggle trying to manage it. Even with medication, it doesn't totally take it away. As you said you have to run, have to really work at it and be mindful of the thoughts that take you away to those dark, hazardous, stormy places. I always imagine a ship out at sea lost in a storm filled with lightning and trying to put down the sails but they won't go and having to just weather the storm. 

Anxiety and depression play terrible games with the mind. It's awful, as you well know but perhaps you're right and I need to talk to my Dr and re think dosage. 
________________

Katie- One month. I'm just fearful of whether or not I can pass the class because I've shut down to it and simply don't want to do it which gets in the way of completing my work and learning it. I want out but if I do that it'll cost me a lot of money and you can't just quit because it's not an ideal situation. It's just a miserable subject for me. And I think I've run out of whatever quality it is that takes a lot of will power and push to get through what makes you miserable.

Thank you. I thought she was really good and I was meh but thank you. I'm really proud of her, she tried so hard and was a lot more responsive and forward thinking.

Thank you Katie. I really appreciate the thought and consideration. I may speak out more, it depends. I'm just whatever it is that I am. 

Definitely the schockemohle is my favorite atm. Especially because the PS sweden bridle dont come with reins or a throat latch which is required for competition and I don't want to pay extra for those things. I'm not made of money but I prefer to get what I REALLY want. My goal is to keep a bridle for a couple of years. I have one that I've had since 2005, another since 2003.
________________

Allison- Thank you. I really like it on her. It's not over done or overwhelming, just enough. But thank you. I love riding her, she feels like my happy place when I ride.

Oh really? I didn't know Redz had a matching set lol. 

Thank you. I agree. The 2nd one is my favorite so far too.
________________

WhisperBaby22- Perhaps so. I like the ergonomic bridles so far, I've heard good things. I'm not sure how well Frankie would like it or not. What I know is she doesn't like a standard bridle. I tried yesterday and she just chewed and chewed on the bit. She didn't seem happy, so I switched bridles. She likes the one she has on which had the hooks in the back but for a long term bridle I want something that really suits her and if comfortable for her.

You're probably right in that regard. My father used to tell me if I was less intelligent, I'd probably be happier and that I was smarter than either him or my sister and that it wasn't a compliment because it seems to make me miserable. I think Im too introspective and perhaps question too much, rather than accepting my place in this life. I hope you're right and can find whatever it is that helps. I hope it's somewhere internal or external.
________________

Update

I went to urgent care and have a concussion. I also got a rather lovely lecture from my parents on my priorities being screwed up and prioritizing the horses over school and how I'm going to end up paying for it, screwing my life up, etc, etc. Mostly because I have a concussion and didn't go to my classes because it's a 40min drive and honestly in a bright room I get very dizzy and feel nauseous. I'm not driving when pushing myself makes me head feel like splitting in two and I cant concentrate but then it goes into the whole all you have is excuses. Suck it up, get it together, get your act together, you're ruining your life and all that fun stuff.

When I get those kind of lectures I tend to let it go through one ear and out the other because honestly I hate being told what I am or being told in a round about way that I'm a disappointment and a failure because I'm not what they want me to be. I'm tired of life games and in general tired. I spent much of my earlier adult life pushing myself beyond my limits, pouring myself into what others expected from me. Doing everything to please everyone else and losing myself, pouring myself into work, education and meeting some goal that isn't my own. I've worked 70+hours a week with no breaks or down time. I've been up 72hrs straight due to work/tests, etc. I've put my health, well being, and sanity forward to do what I was supposed to do to make others happy or to uphold my responsibility or whatever it was that was expected of me. I've worked where I had very little sleep for months and almost no down time outside of eating and showering to get work done and complete tough courses and I'm burnt out. I've put so much work into being what Im not and into what makes me utterly and completely miserable. I'm done playing that game, I've been done playing the game of pleasing everyone other than me a while ago. Call it laziness, call it entitlement, being spoiled or anything else but is life worth living if all it is-is pain, disappointment, struggle and never triumphing or working past it? 

what would they have me live for? I need something to get me out of bed in the morning, something in my life that actually makes my life worth living. I was a very hopeful, optimistic, hard charged, ambitious person who has had life circumstances go from bad to worse over and over again anytime I think things are going to be okay or work out or when I was very naive, if I work hard enough, am pragmatic enough, make the right decisions it will work out and now I know it doesn't matter all that much. I just don't want to end up wasting my life away pining to be something that I'm not and living everyday in struggle and misery. I can't live my life falsely, it'd feel like a cage and I hate being trapped and subdued. But the truth is every path it a trap of mediocrity, disappointment, and daunting perspective that are overwhelming.

I need a purpose in living. A reason to wake up and push forward. And shame because life should be enough a reason and a gift. Where I am so fortunate to live the life I do. To have clean water, shelter, food in my belly and a good support network in my life. And yet I want a reason and a purpose, while others are praying for what I have. I'm ashamed for not having more gratitude and drive but whatever it was that used to drive me has left me. I love feeling productive and like I contribute something to this world but I feel trapped. Like a caged bird forced to live an existence that doesn't belong to it.

Anyways, basically on the back of a horse or exchanging between my mind, pen, and paper is the only time I'm happy or dreaming or caught up in a story.

I've been listening to a lot of classical music. Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert, etc, etc, etc


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## frlsgirl

Oh my goodness! I guess you weren't wearing your helmet in the cross-ties? Who would have thought that you would need one just grooming your horse. Just tell your parents that you could have just as easily slipped and fallen in the shower; does that mean you're gonna stop showering? Or wear a helmet in the shower? I think not. It was just a dumb thing that happened; not an indication that your life is somehow derailed. Non horse people just don't get it. 

In once lost my balance leaning over the couch causing the couch to tip and fall on me and squeezing my body between the tile floor and the weight of the couch; I thought I had broken both my knee caps; total fluke accident; who would have thought that couches are dangerous?


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## Tihannah

I can definitely relate. My mom is ol' school Asian, so if it ain't about making and saving money, it's a waste of time. Which is one of the reasons I didn't get into serious riding till I was almost 40. I've done the bachelor's, Masters, and career, and you know what? I sit at my desk every day wishing I was at the barn and doing what I REALLY love, and it dang sure isn't spreadsheets and data pulls and analysis. I thought it was at one time, but that was before I realized what really made my heart sing. 

Do what you love, what makes you happy, what sets your heart free. This life is too short and nothing else matters. Because once you are truly happy, everything else will fall into place.


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## SlewRouge26

Dante- First off I want to apologize because my post is kind of long lol!! I read some of your posts on this thread a few days ago and I wanted to respond because I feel like I can relate to you. I was reading about your depression and can say I completely relate to you. I told my therapist that I have been seeing the last few months.. that I just don't feel like I have a purpose sometimes. That is depression and its so ugly. I have dealt with depression since early childhood. Now in my mid 20's my doctors and I have discussed that I could be suffering from bipolar depression. For those that don't know what is it ( which most don't, they just see the word bipolar and assume you're crazy) its where you stay in a depressive state most of the time. Then occasionally you have some highs mixed in there that make you feel more positive about life and have more energy. The moods fluctuate frequently and is not good. What has helped me so much in my life have been my horses. It is my therapy. Also my medication helps. When I was a young girl my mom wouldn't put my on any medicine so my horses were the only thing that saved me. Many tears have been cried into their manes. I'm recently in the last year getting back into riding after taking time off due to being pregnant and raising my little boys. I have missed it so much. One thing that I have struggled is always having to start over in my riding with my thoroughbred. Even though he has been my saving grace.. this particular issue has actually added to my depression because I feel defeated. As if we will never get to the point I dream to be. Hes a hot horse still at 17 years old. I have had several accidents with him where he has taken off with me. The last time was right after I had my youngest son.. I was at the barn by myself and just wanted to ride. I saddled up, got on, and within a few minutes he took off. I was slammed into a fence and landed on my back and couldn't breathe. I was terrified and its been hard to feel comfortable with riding since. This was about 3 years go. Since then I have been back up on him but my anxiety is always so high. I should mention I struggle from anxiety and PTSD as well. When I feel like hes getting "hot" I jump off. I know its the wrong thing to do. I know I need to push him through it but in the back of my mind.. I'm afraid to get injured especially being a mom now. I have taken many lessons on him over the 13 years of owning him, have worked with many trainers, have talked to the vets to make sure hes not suffering from pain. Hes just a hot/ moody horse at times who doesn't want to work and needs an experienced rider. I am not an excellent rider anymore. I use to ride everyday and use to know a lot more. I am having to start over in a way. I have done jumping, Dressage, and Barrels. However, once you start being so inconstant for years you have to start learning some basics again and building your muscles back for that type of work. I just have to figure out how to get comfortable riding slew again. I have a friend who is very experienced (events) and rides him for me some. He does the same thing with her from time to time but she pushes him through it. I hope I can get there but its discouraging because I know my anxiety. I want to be able to just go out to the barn, saddle up and ride a few hours and it be relaxing. I love him so much which is why I have had him for so long. In a way.. We really did save each other. As stated above.. Do what sets your heart free! Riding sets my heart free. Thats why its so important that I get back into it. I need it to stay healthy mentally! I loved watching your videos of you riding! You look to in-tune and happy. I plan to start a journal on here once I get back into the swing of things. 

Sorry my post is SO LONG! I guess I just wanted to vent and let you know that you're not alone in this world! I feel the pain you're experiencing.. and it can be paralyzing. We have to keep moving and doing what we love. Being with the horses!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I like the couch example. Sometimes you can be hurt no matter what you do. And exactly you can't wear a helmet in the shower because you just might slip. Anything can happen at any time and you can't prepare for it all, sometimes the results are dire but sometimes it just is what it is.

But indeed, who would have thought couches would be dangerous? or showers?
_________________

Tina- lol exactly. One of my good friends is from Taiwan and she always says I'm practically Asian because of how cheap I am but my parents are the same (they're both from German families, dad is German-Russian and mom is Danish/German). It's hard to explain to people who were raised with very little and who are always worried about when you lose it all, how will you support yourself? And I agree it's important to be productive and able to take of yourself, I also think you have to enjoy the life you live. If you spend your whole life saving and never spend it on something you really love, what's the point when you're too old and unhealthy to do the things you love and all you have left is a surplus of money?

And oh gosh I hate accounting, that sounds like book keeping and accounting which is a personal hel! for me but glad you once loved it as much as riding haha.

But thank you. I think that's the only way to live. Do what makes you happy and makes you want to get up each and every day and inspires you to persevere when you can't imagine getting out of bed.

_________________

SlewRogue26- Thank you and welcome to the forum and journals. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope it isn't bipolar disorder. They thought I had bipolar but it was a combination of anxiety and depression with aspergers and ADHD. The mania portion is scary, I've had some serious ups that scared me but fortunately it wasn't bipolar disorder. 

Being inconsistent and a mother definitely changes perspective and ability to takes risk. Hopefully you'll be able to feel more confident with time. Stay healthy and look after yourself!

But depression is definitely disabling and has a very funny effect in destroying all motivation and belief. It fills every question or doubt with absolute resolve nothing will be okay and life is pointless because no effort is worth it because it will only be met with failure and disappointment. It's a terrible illness. 
_________________

Update

I'm not 100% I'm still kinda foggy brained and light headed when I push myself. 

I'm still listening to classical music. I can't listen to much else atm. Everything else is too harsh and not harmonious enough to be pleasant. I love classical music, it's about the sensation and the emotion and passion and sadness. It's so beautiful it's overwhelming. 

I'm not altogether, together. I'm mostly taking an easy and resting up. I want to see Frankie tonight and lunge Raphael but I'm not sure it's the right thing to do. Have to make up tests and catch up on homework and things and I can't go on for too long because my brain needs rest.


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## DanteDressageNerd

More of an update. I went to visit Frankie because I missed her and wanted to spend time with her.

I also lunged Raphael who was AWESOME!! He has such an incredible work ethic. He's such an awesome horse!! 

I did not ride because I'm still not there and if I exert myself mentally or physically I get the light headed, dizzy, nauseated feeling and also kept making brain slips with calling things what they aren't and other not so typical stuff. 

Also Francesca pictures in her new browband and with the bridle I pieces together. The noseband is from my 12yr old bridle and the other is from her newish one. My friend who is a saddle fitter may start carrying the Schockemohle brand, so I may just order a bridle from her if she decides to carry their product. They also make GREAT polos and I'm supposed to get a set of white polos sent to me too which I ordered in December or January.

She's my baby. Sometimes I feel unworthy of her because she really is quite a nice horse and I feel so blessed/lucky to have her in my life but then I think well I'm good to her and she's good to me and I'm fair to her which can't be said in a different situation. She gets a lot of turnout and is very well looked after. I try my best to do right by her. She had her back injections and her posture and back look a lot better. I think she needed it. I also think part of why her movement was relatively poor last ride and she was so resistant to being through or truly connected is because of her back. I couldn't get swing and with her because now she is very forward, she needs to be forward enough to get a large enough stride and thrust but she needs to be much slower to develop swing. Just looking forward to riding her again. Mark (vet) said Saturday.

Sometimes it's hard to explain how the rider creates and develops the movement. It's systematic training, organization and a lot of rhythm control that develops the quality of gaits. Developing impulsion, suspension, throughness, engagement, etc. Rider/training involvement.

Us February





us after month off and before back injections. Hopefully I'll have another comparison after but Murray did say that as a 4yr old her movement may go down in quality and come back as a 5yr old adn she had about a month off from real riding and she's 3 and changing all the time. I'm just trying to work out how to ride her better/develop her better. And she's 3 and a month off in baby land is like several months.


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## PoptartShop

Frankie is soooo stunning! <3 I love the brow band & it looks good with the bridle, she looks great.  Like, amazingly gorg! :biggrin:

Love the selfie too, you guys are so cute! You are definitely her person.  I know what you mean. Like they are such amazing creatures. But we love them! She definitely deserves you & vice-versa. 

Glad Raphael was good too. Even if you didn't ride, it's good you still got some horsey time in and bonding! <3 It can help make you feel better.

I hope you feel better soon & start to feel like your normal self again. :|


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## frlsgirl

Sorry you are still not feeling well. I'm in the same boat right now; I just kind of want to hide under a rock right now; on one hand I'm hyper active on the other hand I can't focus or do anything productive. It doesn't help that the FEI cup is on right now and that everyone is prepping for Saturday's schooling show that I was supposed to ride in. It's like all this stuff is happening around me and I can't control it, I can't be part of it, I don't know how to fix it, and I could just scream. There was a problem with filling my meds so I'm on day 3 of going without my normal dosage and I'm sure that has something to do with it. Supposedly, I can pick up my meds today and then the world might look like a better place again.

Frankie looks lovely, you are lucky to have such an awesome horse; it helps to count our blessings when we feel down. Sometimes it helps to actually write them all down in bullet point format so that they really stand out as separate blessings. I speak from experience, lol.

And I totally agree with what you said about the rider creating/ managing at least part of the movement. If I don't do anything, Ana will just plop around like a western pleasure horse; but if I can get her really round and through and then add a hint of more forward, I get beautiful floaty Dressage movements. It's kind of like baking; you got to have the right mix of ingredients or the cake doesn't turn out right.


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## Tazzie

I'm sorry you still don't feel well :sad: hopefully you start feeling better soon.

Trust me, you are worthy enough for her. Don't let the depression tell you otherwise. I know it's hard to do, but we all believe you are worthy of her. It's wonderful watching you two interact. It's like poetry in motion with you guys, and it gives me chills thinking of what you guys will be like as you develop her!

I really, really like it with that noseband. While the white padding one was nice, this one allows the browband to shine through more and not overwhelm it. LOVE it! And ohhhh, if your friend starts carrying their products, let me know. A new bridle has been shoved to a Christmas present for me (because I opted to do the demo instead of buying the bridle lol), so I'd LOVE to buy one from someone a friend knows. And maybe she could help me pick the best option for my delicate headed animal :lol:

*hugs* to you though! You're worth it! You'll always be worth it, and you're an amazing individual!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Thank you. She's my baby. She also has a great sense of humor lol. She's my baby.

But thank you. She is definitely my baby but exactly they are really amazing creatures and sometimes it's easy to get overwhelmed like how did I get so lucky to have you in my life?

Exactly. It definitely made me a bit happier with life and I hope to feel better soon too. 
______________

Tanja- I hope you can get back on your correct dosage. Being short a few days of meds is really a terrible feeling I hope you can get the meds! And I agree it's tough seeing everybody have so much fun, doing big exciting things and be "left out." I have faith it will sort out and be better than before. 

But thank you. It helps to remind yourself of all the good stuff, that's for sure. Though sometimes I look at all I have and feel incredibly guilty for not being more appreciative. But I agree it definitely helps 

Exactly! I like the baking analogy! It's a lot like baking, have to get the formula exactly right to get the best result and you're constantly learning, feeling and developing new things to develop/train the horses better and get yourself riding better and better to ride the horses better and get better movement from them.
______________

Katie- lol you know you're bad when your Professors are like you look like you need rest. Maybe you shouldn't have come to class. I feel guilty but then at the same time I'm not all there mentally, not that I ever really am but it's worse because I'm more absent minded and my thinking is incomplete atm.

But thank you. I just get overwhelmed because I honestly never thought in my life I'd have a horse like her. She has such a bright, shiny personality and is a good comic as well as being as smart and hard working as she is. She's still such a baby but I'm excited to see what she's like with more confidence and know how. But thank you, I'm really interested in seeing what we turn into being too. I think we're a very well matched pair personality and ridability wise. I think she's one that can be made to become really sharp. Sometimes the young ones aren't very sensitive because they don't understand what things mean, they just feel pressure and are like what? what do you want? That's annoying? But thank you I hope I can do her justice. At the moment she's quite delicate feeling. She feels very light on her legs and very narrow. That surprised me the most is how narrow she felt but I'm sure she'll fill out a bit. 

I do too. The white and patent leather was just too much with the browband. Too much easily overwhelms her face. She's a very feminine girl! But I'll let you know, as soon as I know! I hope she's able to carry their line!
______________

Update

Not much. I'm exhausted and need rest. I have two tests postponed to next week until my head is together. I was pretty light headed, dizzy and over all exhausted today. Basic logic tasks are very difficult for me at the moment. I can still calculate percents accurately but I have to commit to paper, rather than doing it in my head.

I've also screwed up talking and reasoning and memory stuff, so I'm being careful

Mostly I'm just tired and I feel guilty because I'm not all there but then sometimes I feel normalish enough to do the stuff I need to then I set out to work on it and then I get dizzy, light headed and nauseous.

Also have to share this because I quite like this horse. I wish he'd stay with Charlotte for a little while but oh well lol. I think this horse would just be PHENOMENAL with her!






I also found another stallion I love if I ever breed Frankie
http://www.superiorequinesires.com/stallion.php?Secret-948

This is Sezuan who is a PHENOMENAL producer and sire of the above stallion


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright update

I rode Raphael. He was FANTASTIC!! He felt by far the best he ever has. It was very neat. He's really starting to understand things now. I was able to leg yield from centerline to the wall both ways. Left leg yield atm isn't as good as right leg yield but also did shoulder in and improved the quality of his bend and coordination. Also did quite a few transitions and really made him respond to the core seat half halt which was amazing when he got it. All I did was half halt and he'd come up in his neck and head (when he'd try to dip down and carry himself on the forehand) and he'd take weight behind and come up. We also practiced centerline a few time and halted square. Tons of praise for Raphael all throughout the ride. Hugs and good boys. He did kick out earlier in the ride and I just spanked him and he was like oh right, got it. Canter transitions are still a little rough. He does them but he leaps into them. I rode in the CWD instead of the wintec. What a difference. I could actually ride him in it and actually effectively ride his canter well. He gave me the best, most through canter he ever has. SUCH a big difference being able to effectively organize him. I feel like Ive improved a lot as a rider during my break. I can't even quite put my foot on what it is that really made the difference. I know what it is in me but I can't explain it. It's a very subtle change in my body and I'm very excited about realizing it and also some differences in how I ride left to right. Raphael I ride very straight left and right I ride him with more bend. It's just neat when you come across a few subtle things and can make such an improvement in every horse you ride. I was so proud of Raphael. Lots of praise! 

I will have a lesson on Frankie tomorrow. I can't wait to ride her. I lunged her today, she also had a clippers lesson. I didn't use them on her she still has a problem with them, even if they're not turned on. She's never had a bad experience with clippers but I'm taking my time and just gaining her confidence and giving her cookies when I turn the clippers on. Rub them on her neck and body with them off and just giving her positive experiences. She was like a rocket today. I'm excited. I hope she's going to be hotter and a bit more fiery as she develops and gains confidence in herself and her body. I really think when she gains that confidence and self assurance. She's going to be something. Today she moved a LOT like her mom, it's odd. She's changing so much, so quickly. I honestly have no idea what she's going to turn out like. If she's somewhere between her mom and Dad that's a fine horse. Her dad is very much the modern type and her mom was MASSIVE. A total powerhouse, big feet, big bone. She was 67.4% thoroughbred but she was more the old type. HUGE gaits, SUPER powerful. Her canter was back breaking. I'm seeing more of Gracie in Frankie. I wish I had video of Gracie.










Can you tell she's 51% thoroughbred? Just keep in mind left is her weak/less coordinated side. She's right hoofed.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright here is more Raphael's update.

Today our ride wasn't as good as yesterday, I think because he's muscularly tired but he was a good boy. He had his moments but they're becoming less and less and he's becoming a much more willing, enthusiastic partner. He's becoming more of a team player. 

Before this I had a mental work ride with him which was basically breaking down part of things. Like turn on the forehand correct response to aids. Really taking the outside rein, bending to a greater degree. walk piroettes, leg yield, shoulder in. Changes of direction, transitions, etc. Better corners, etc. For the video it was more just getting him to GO forward. I think next ride will be a reaction day of prioritizing reactivity to the aids. Mental work days are more showing them the aids and coordination and expanding on concepts, reaction days, more on sharper reactions. Also worked on getting better half halt reactions and sitting. He was too tired to really work on collection or increased engagement which was why today was more of mental day. Like an education day, rather than push forward if that makes sense? I don't know how to explain what I do entirely sometimes I blend things together, sometimes running through parts of a test or I don't know. I do what I feel helps them. I also walked him around the property after the ride which he LOVED. He was SO happy!

Today before the video was more of a mental work day. I break it up. We did a lot with laterals, changes of direction, quick transitions, better laterals. His shoulder in improved a lot and feels more confirmed. 

The video he was very behind my leg and not sharp off my aids at all. Again I think he was pretty tired at this point which is why he's so behind my leg and not moving as well. But even when he's tired he's SO SO much better than he used to be. I used to ask him to go forward at all when hew as tired and he'd just slam on the breaks and rear. So this is a BIG improvement!

I also rode him in the CWD rather than the wintec Isabell which again I HATE. I can't be nearly as effective because I'm having to tense up my body to be moderately still. I don't like the location of the stirrup bar, it's just not a good fit for me. I don't like the location of the CWD stirrup bar either but it's a bette fit and I can ride much more effectively in it. His right hind is his weak one. Basically he went better yesterday and moved a lot better but he's come a really long way in a few short months! But I will say I prefer hot horses. I would not describe Raphael as hot at all. I'd say he can be testy and opinionated and he's very sensitive about certain things but not hot at all. 






I ended up not having a lesson on Frankie, so we did in hand work to educate her mouth and improve her coordination/understanding of aids. She's getting a lot hotter and more alert. I'm really hoping she'll be hot/sharp off the aids as she matures. I've ridden her when she was hot and that was just wonderful. I hope she'll be like that as she matures. 

Also the new stallion that has moved into slot one as my absolute favorite if I were to breed Frankie (not anytime soon). He has a lot of dutch breeding with Jazz and Crack C. They said his ridability is very good and he scored REALLY well on his test and was Bundeschampionate as a 4yr old. So he has really hot blood. I'd want something hot, sensitive and sharp. Hot but ridable/reasonable and not a nervous wreck or super neurotic. Just sharp, intelligent and hard working. And I like the idea of adding dutch blood. Dutch horses are known for being quirky but the report I read said this stallion wasn't but he's only 5, so who knows what his offspring will be like but I really like him/






Then this is his sire


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## Tazzie

Yay on such good workouts! Good ponies! But naughty Raphael with his bucking! At least he was a bit more reasonable when he was tired!

All of your pictures look great! Love the pony pictures!

I take it you're feeling better? I hope you had a lovely weekend!

And that stud is so nice! How far back is Jazz in his pedigree? Shocks me to hear "good ridability" mixed in with a Jazz descendant. The gelding we had that was sired by Jazz was a loony tune. Spooked at his hoof print in deep sand, was totally not afraid to stand straight up with you, and was just nuts. Definitely not the easiest horse to ride, though a few of us did learn how to ride him well enough (never as well as his owner though.)


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## PoptartShop

So glad you had a good ride on Raphael. Such a good boy! 
The CWD was probably more comfortable for you than the Wintec too. I'm so glad you accomplished so much, and I'm sure you spoiled him with treats. 

LOVE the selfies with Frankie. LOL, so cute when you made the same face haha.

Just saw the newer update, Raphael was probably just a bit tired! <3 He worked so good & hard the other day, he was probably like...more work??? Didn't I do enough? LOL

He is a happy boy!
I think the other saddle is definitely helping your ride too, the Wintec just wasn't cutting it!

Beautiful stud. :smile: I love all the pictures!

I hope you are feeling better too.


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## frlsgirl

Wow, her canter is quite powerful indeed. Glad you're getting some great work sessions done with your kiddos! 

Are you feeling better?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- Very good. I'm pretty sore lol. Raphael always has to express his opinion lol. Quirky arabs! He is a LOT more reasonable than he used to be though. He's come a LONG LONG way in his ridability. 

Thank you. I like getting pics with my girlie. I never did with Kahlua or Sporty or a lot of the others horses so I'm making up for it lol. Memories.

I'm still not 100% my brain is having a harder time staying on track and with memory but it's definitely better. I'm exhausted though.

He really is Jazz is his grandsire or great grandsire, I can't remember. He's not a "Jazz" type. I don't want a Jazz horse, I've dealt with a few too. They're not all there lol. But I talked to Mari and Mari likes Secret better. She said Secret and Revolution are on the same par. and Don Martillo is very nice but doesn't have the same quality of canter.
________________

Allison- He's definitely doing better. He seems happier in the CWD and I can ride more effectively in it. 

But thank you. I think we're two peas in a pod and we just go together. I hope we have some positive show results this year. If not we'll just keep on keeping on.

I'm not sure. He seems like he does recover muscularly quickly and he fatigues really quickly and it kind of concerns me. I'm not sure why his muscles fatigue so quickly. He doesn't tie up but he gets muscularly tired so quickly which is very unusual since he is half arabian.

No the wintec was hard to ride in. It sets your balance off and it's just not a saddle I like. It makes it tough to ride effectively and be in balance.
________________

Tanja- It is. I'm excited to be back in a real lesson program again with Miss Francesca I'm really hoping I can keep riding.

Somewhat better. Sometimes 
________________

Update

I rode Frankie last night she was WONDERFUL!! I did a bit of in hand work with her on Sunday. It really helps educate their mouth and body. They have to know how to soften to gentle pressure and react to pressure so she can bend and supple and react. 

I lost my focus. I didnt take my ritalin late enough in the day. My head felt like a pin ball machine. Frankie was awesome! She was really, really good. WAY WAY better than last ride but she definitely got muscularly fatigued. Left it was SO hard to balance her. Apparently it felt worse than it looked because I was told how awesome she looked and I was like I felt like I had to lean all the way left and kept having to put my weight left because she was throwing me right so hard. She pushes off her right hind a lot stronger than her left but she's harder to ride. It takes a lot to ride and organize her. It should, she's a baby but I was worn out lol. She was very forward though which is great! She's getting a lot more sensitive and more reactive! Her leg yields were super! She also did some lengthening and shoulder fore. Super proud! I'm so glad we're getting her back in a program again!

I found a bunch of photos that are old lol. 

Raphael's mom. Presiosa 15.1h arabian mare by Magnum Psyche





Some of Frankie's mom I'm not sure if I posted already or not and of course baby Frankie. Gracie was a TANK. Sometimes I forget how massive she was. She wasn't fat at all, she was just SOLID. Frankie was site champion filly at her inspection, she was premium. 




Pregnant Gracie



Really old pictures of me riding Clyde a 17.2h 27yr old hanoverian. I was riding in my old amerigo deep seat


Paddington welsh pony


Some from Germany. I wasn't allowed to take too many pictures which really makes me sad. I wish I had taken more.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Also I think these are from 2009? 2010? This was a tb I tried that I REALLY liked. He was awesome to ride! It didn't work out but super neat horse! I wish pictures of video had been taken of us jumping. He was SUPER!!






Also me and Magellan from 2009? 2010? Magellan was a thoroughbred who has really advanced EPM before being treated. He used to be a few feet from over track because his hind end was so stiff.









Winston. I know this was 2009. Winston was 7/8ths thoroughbred and 1/8 quarte rhorse


My old event horse Kahlua


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## frlsgirl

Wow - thanks for sharing all these neat pictures. That welsh pony though 

I also only have very few pictures from my riding days in Germany; not because we weren't allowed to take pics but because it was before digital photography and before the word "selfie" was invented, lol.


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## PoptartShop

Aww I love all the old pictures, it's fun to look back at stuff!  Wow Raphael's momma was beautiful too! 
Gracie sure did look like a tank! Also beautiful!

Winston ahhhhh what a handsome boy! They are all so cute! Happy you had a good ride on Frankie, too!


----------



## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I'm happy to share. Sometimes it's nice to look back and see the horses and ponies. And yes Paddington was adorable! His eyes were half blue and half brown and really beautiful. He had an adorable and sweet personality too. 

Exactly. That's why I have almost no jumping or cross country pictures from when I evented. You just didn't take that many photos or pictures then.I mean we look back and wish we took more but it just wasnt the norm then. 
_____________

Allison- It really is! Thank you! And yes she was a pretty mare. She was halter bred and was some kind of champion in it. And Gracie was. I feel bad for Gracie because she was psychologically abused by a previous owner. She was really sweet but she acted a bit nuts, though who could blame her with how she'd been treated (she had callouses the size of my palm on her side from spurs when she came). She couldn't carry herself at all, let alone balance or carry a rhythm and she had shown 3rd-4th level! She had the largest underneck muscle I had ever seen with no topline or muscle over her back when she showed up. She was probably the most powerful horse I'd ever ridden. And she's actually 67.5% thoroughbred.

Winston was really cute. He couldn't really sit (hunter bred) but he was a sweetheart with a good personality. I rode him in a clinic once. But thank you I'm glad we had a good ride too!
____________________

Alright quick update

I am ABSOLUTELY exhausted. Computer Science is KILLING me and it's my fault because I have HORRIBLE time management skills and didn't account for the 30-40hrs it was going to take, so I'm turning in an incompete assignment because honestly I can't look at it anymore without my brains switching off. I HATE computer science. I can't even being to say how much it drives me insane! It's like blending calculus and physics and trying to create a world out of that through a GUI filter. 

This is the LAST computer science class I am ever going to take. After this I'm done. I HATE it with such an extreme passion. I like my Professor, I think he's good but time management is HORRIBLY difficult for me. I don't know why. I've tried alarms, calendars, etc and if I don't have to I will stare at a screen for hours and accomplish nothing. A lot of my aspergers quirks and ADHD drive me insane. If I'm not interested, it takes EVERYTHING I have to kind of concentrate and stay on task. I've been drinking quite a bit to get my brain shut down enough to accomplish anything at all. Keep in mind I'm a light weight, it takes almost nothing for me to feel the effects because in general I don't drink, my parents and grandparents don't really drink, so there isn't much tolerance built up in my genes. I'm so tired of looking at tangents, cosines, functions, and other calculus factors to create a working world that doesn't work and I have no idea how to make it work. In all and complete honesty I will be lucky if I even pass this class. It's so hard for me and I hate it. It's one of those things that literally the act of doing it makes me want to bash my skull against a wall until it bleeds out and I feel nothing. It's painful and not satisfying at all. I think I'd be okay with it if I didn't have time restraints and I wasn't being graded and it's going to cost me over 2k to pay for the F or D I'm probably going to receive in this class. It's no one's fault but my own, I shouldn't have taken the class at all. 

Frankie was AMAZING tonight. She's getting a lot less green. Murray said at 4 she probably wouldn't move all that well and that's okay. We'll get it back, the important thing is she's working out steering, going forward (We found her go button tonight!! yay!!) She has to know how to go, steer, stop, and move side ways. She does all that and 3 loop serpentines. Mari said she could run through the 4yr old FEI test now but definitely need polish up the edges. Lots of work to be done. 

She's really thoroughbredy to ride atm. She feels like riding a nice thoroughbred atm. I think it's just her growth stage. She's gotten quite a bit longer with lean muscle and doesn't have the power she had previously. I'm sure she'll get it back as she matures but right now awkward place. She's very smart though and definitely motivated. She's not insecure but she has a very reserved personality. We have a lot of work ahead but tonight was a breakthrough. It's the first time in a while I was able to steer left. Steering is still questionable, she is a baby but it's coming along!

She definitely rides like a baby lol. 






Also a friend of mine is going through a really rough time and I'm really worried about her. I don't know if there is much I can do but I hope she's okay and will be praying for her.


----------



## whisperbaby22

We all walk down paths that go nowhere for us. The important thing is to leave that path once you have decided it is not for you, and get back to the paths that hold meaning for you. But it is important to try, and that I think is a lesson well learned here, and the personal gain you can get out of this class is that it is not the path for you.


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22 - thank you. I think so. It's definitely a lesson in computer science is not what I want to do and I'll have no regrets saying hey this isnt for me. Definitely at a cross roads atm.
___________

Update 

I'm mostly really tired and I'm a little irritated because I got a little rough with Raphael today. While I was stretching him he tried to kick me and I got after him and someone said in a round about way that you just need to be patient with him, you should never be angry around a horse, etc, etc. And I just thought. You have to be patient but you also have to be quick to get after a horse that is doing something dangerous, especially if you want the horse to be handled by someone not as skilled. I have gotten rough with horses but it's never just because, it's usually because something dangerous has occurred and hierarchy needs to be clearly established. Quick to correct and as hard as necessary but quick to reward. I'm serious be a stallion handler, handle young colts and tell me just petting them and telling them it's okay is going to correct the behavior and teach them manners/respect. 

Raphael was rough to ride today. I was literally shaking and struggling to catch my breath. It took everything I had. He was good but I am SO exhausted. 

Frankie also got her bath tonight. She hates baths but we got through it and she was a good girl.


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## PoptartShop

Ugh, I can't wait until you are done with that darn class!  It must be so draining!

Glad Frankie is doing well, and she cleans up SO nice!  Wow, talk about shiny!:mrgreen: She's beautiful!
Sorry to hear Raphael was giving you a tough time. I agree, you can be patient but you have to also be firm & show them who's boss. Babying them all the time doesn't work, & it'll just leave you with a spoiled brat horse:-x! I agree with you completely. He shouldn't have tried to kick out at you, if you just said 'aw it's okay buddy' he would've been like oh, she doesn't mind this too much. Like NO! 
I hope everything is OK with your friend, too!


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## frlsgirl

What is it with mares and baths? If you really want to ruin Ana's day, give her a bath, lol.

About the discipline, just look at how mares discipline their foals:






And look at this helicopter mom mare schooling another foal that gets too close to hers:






It's not pretty but it's effective. 

I had to take Chemistry for Science Majors in College and I thought for sure I was going to die; it was the most difficult class I had ever taken; it was complete misery for one semester. What helped me was counting down the days until it was over. Maybe you can scratch X's into the wall like they do in prison, lol. Or get a red marker and X out the days on your calendar.

Honestly, Frankie looks really good to me. If she's going this well as a baby imagine how awesome she'll be when she's all grown up.


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## frlsgirl

Double post.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Thank you me too! It's not looking good at this point. I really like my Professor, I think he's a good man and a good teacher but it's really hard for me and I should ask for more help but 

Thank you. I LOVE San Juan grooming products. I swear by them. I've tried countless different brands and different products, they are BY FAR the best. Like above and beyond, I wont go to anything else. I buy their supplements and even got dog products through them to help my shiba inu who has really sensitive skin. 

Thank you. I think she will be. It's just going to be rough for a while

And EXACTLY!! If you're handling an unruly colt, testing him limits, petting him and saying oh it's going to be okay is just going to get you hurt or killed because they're testing the hierarchy and learning manners. You have to be firm but fair IMO. With colts I'm very quick to get after them and pretty harshly because a lot of the times they don't get it without an extreme reaction. 
______________

Tanja- Exactly! Exactly! That's how horses behave towards each other and that's what they understand. They have to have clear boundaries. A person should always be fair but they need guidance and have a clearly established hierarchy. It gives them more confidence in the rider and handler to know they're in control and have their back. But you can't be unfairly nasty, just direct. Punishment should fit the crime, send a message and be done. Then be quick to praise and reward when they do the right thing. IMO it's meaner to constantly pet them and say oh do whatever and never take initiative then to be quick, firm and direct and it be done with. The particular lady has never had a particularly difficult horse. All of hers have been very well behaved, sensitive souls. 

lol I don't know some horses love baths and others just don't. I don't know why *shrugs* Frankie just piaffes in the cross ties.

I think I'm just a perfectionist and I'm always looking at "what's next" or "what do I need to do, to this better." It's constant. I'm hungry for it.

lol that might work. I have a little less than a month left. We'll see if I make it that long!
______________

Update

Computer Science is really taking it's toll on me. I had to miss class today because I didn't have the lab done and turned in an incomplete project. I'm very disappointed in myself and I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail this class. I've never taken a harder class this is INSANE. I literally couldn't sit down and get anything done yesterday. I was on the go all day yesterday. And Saturday I just couldn't get anything done with it. I was so overwhelmed and my brains goes splat when I get that overwhelmed like that. I feel like a total failure. I'm pretty disgusted with myself but the ponies are doing well and that is what matters. 

Last night I took allergy medications and it really messed me up. My whole body felt like I had a fever, I was really achy, in pain (joint pain exaggerated) and my head was so foggy. It took a lot just to stay up, it took a while to snap out of it.

The reason I twist so much to the left is because bending left is VERY hard for her and steering her left is very challenging. She's like this even on the lungeline. It takes a lot to get her to bend left. Her brother is the opposite. As a baby going right he'd bend all the way left, he was so one sided. Frankie isn't that bad but being a baby makes it more obvious.

I use primarily position for bend and movements. For example half pass is look in direction of travel inside hip forward, outside leg back, weight down hip in direction of travel. Or canter, weight down outside seat bone, outside leg back, inside leg at girth and for a lead change, as hip slides back switch position. 

Or for haunches in, more weight down the inside, outside leg back, bending shoulders in. Inside leg for bend, outside half halt, knee to organize inside hind, outside rein. Shoulder in, inside leg back, outside leg at girth, turning in, inside leg for bend and outside half halt to manage the shoulder. Sometimes it helps to tap the inside shoulder with the whip to help with bend. Looking with head straight.

Bend sometimes if they're really struggling, stepping out with an open outside rein, positioned in (like you're going to turn in and look behind you at your horses tail) inside leg back and leg yield out. Where you put your weight tells the horses where to go and your organization of the aids tells them how to travel. Take more pressure on the inside rein-release, step out, inside leg back and on, outside rein half halt but allowing with the outside rein. If you have too much outside rein, they can't turn their shoulder. Or sometimes if it's a turning issue, stepping in, squeeze fingers on the inside rein, get a reaction, open fingers (except for thumb and index), half halt outside rein. Take-give. 

Walk piroettes, bit of shoulder fore/in, step in, half halt and turn the the shoulders. 

Other Frankie pics


----------



## Tihannah

Frankie looks amazing! She's really coming along nicely! And I LOVE her dapples!

I finally got to watch that video above of the stallion you really like? Holy cow, that horse has some amazing movement!


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## frlsgirl

Allergy meds make me too drowsy to do anything at all. You might have reached a point where you can't see the forest from the trees anymore. Can you maybe break the project down into little chunks?


----------



## PoptartShop

You & Frankie look great as always.  I need to get some San Juan stuff!
I know how hard it is to deal with a class like that. It's so overwhelming & difficult, so you barely have the motivation, then you get overwhelmed & have no energy left to even do anything with it. I totally understand.  Maybe do a little at a time, this way it won't be so much at once? I'm terrible at stuff like that. :lol: That's how I felt when I had to take a few math classes (I was a Legal Studies major, like what the heck!) & I had to re-take one, and the second time around I barely made a good passing grade. 
It's definitely hard. I hope you don't fail it though & you pull through so you can be done with it FOREVER! 

Sorry to hear that about the allergy meds, I myself am super sensitive to stuff!  Definitely did more harm than good. I hope you feel better!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- Thank you. I'm proud of her. She's coming a long. I hope her teeth being done will help her because atm turning left is a serious challenge for her atm and she's being a little fussy in the bridle (not bad like Dante was) but not her typical self. I just want her to be comfortable and happy. 

And yes. He's phenomenal. My favorite is Secret, if I breed Frankie I'll be breeding her to him. He has great lines and has really good ability and hopefully by the time I breed her (at least 5-6yrs away) he'll be proven and we'll see how well he holds up soundness wise and what he produces like. But there are SO many awesome stallions coming out, who knows what will be around. There are so many stallions out there.
_______

Tanja- Yikes. I'm sorry it hits you like it hits me too. I have the same reaction. I just pass out and can't function. The project is done. I've kinda lost hope in even passing this class. It's miserable for me and painful. 
_______

Allison- Thank you. I'm proud of her. She really is a good girl, she's just solid and has such an excellent temperament. I'm proud of her. And yes their products are fabulous! I can't rave about them enough.

I think we all have strengths or weaknesses and it gets exhausting over time. I've poured myself into so many things that ended up going to sh!t through means outside of my control. I just can't invest myself like that anymore and it's a shame but I think I'm a little burnt out in investing myself. But we each have our strengths and weaknesses. That's why we do what we do. It'd be awfully boring if we were all useful in the same way. Diversity is a good thing but I like math lol. But thank you. I hope I don't fail either or I have an added expense of 2k.

Yikes. I'm sad to hear others have such negative reactions to it too. I thought they were supposed to help.
_______

Update

Frankie needs her teeth done. She's been really struggling to turn left. I had a really rough lesson trying to get her to turn. We weren't mean to her or anything like that, it was just demanding for me and coordination to the extreme of exaggeration and honestly it didn't help too much. She did it but wasn't getting better. Plus she was acting a little like Dante with being really hyper reactive to bit pressure.

Raphael isn't happy with any of the saddles I've tried. He's been really good considering that they all run up his shoulder no matter what I do and I feel SO bad for him. I didn't do much riding wise because even though he was uncomfortable, he was a good boy. No tantrums, just tried but let me know he was uncomfortable. He just couldn't use himself properly and wasn't comfortable moving out. I ended up lunging him because he wasnt comfortable. I hope to find something to work with him. He's really been so good about everything, I feel bad for him.

Ive been thinking a lot about some of the things I've gone through in life recently and I thought no wonder I'm not well adjusted. I can't cope with aspects that I should be able to. I can't cope with true vulnerability. I'm pretty open but at the same time being truly vulnerable I can't do it. I can't get involved or even consider the idea of getting into a relationship or date or any of that because it stresses me out to the point of anxiety and paranoia. I've been treated SO badly. Every person I've ever dated or had a relationship with have been the same. Abusive, manipulative, tons of games while making you feel like you're the problem and insane one while you're confused and don't understand what's going on. And swallow all the lies because you live with an underlying premise of people are fundamentally good and they're not. They're self serving and setting yourself up to believe people are genuine, honest and good is to set yourself up for disappointment and pain. I don't hate people but trust is an issue for me. Friendships are different from relationships. I'm more trusting in friendship but relationships Im emotionally incapable, it is too draining.


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## Tazzie

I'm sorry about the class :sad: thank goodness you will be done with it soon! Right now I think you just need to be done with it, pass or fail. Yeah, 2k is quite a bit. But your sanity is worth more at this point.

Frankie is such a good looking girl! I really can't wait to see how she develops! She's going to be stunning to watch as she moves up the levels!

I hope the teeth are the issue and that can be resolved quickly. If not, maybe a chiro? Izzie gets fussy in the bridle when her poll is giving her trouble, and can't really bend a certain direction when in need of an adjustment. I'm sure you'll get her all figured out though!

Poor Raphael :sad: I sure hope someone snaps him up so he can finally have his perfect saddle fit! I'm glad he's being such a good boy though. Shows a lot of growth on his end from where he started.

Men can certainly be horrible :/ I'm thankful I have a good one, and know of a couple other good ones. I can see how relationships can be too draining though. Sometimes they just aren't worth it.

And @PoptartShop, I highly recommend the San Juan products! Nick even made the comment Saturday about how nice her tail looked, and I didn't get to scrub it as much as I typically do with tails. And she was SHINY! They are comparable in price with like everything too, just have to order them (their only downfall).


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## frlsgirl

I'm sorry you are going through all of this @DanteDressageNerd - the only advice I can give regarding relationships is do not go looking for one. Live your life; be present in the world, do the things you enjoy and Mr. Right will find you. 

Glad that project is done. 

About saddle fit - some people have had luck with the ultra thinline pads for those horses that are ultra sensitive; I guess it reduces the concussive effects, or at least dampens perception of concussive forces:

https://www.thinlineglobal.com/abou...terinarians-horses-with-kissing-spine-disease


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## whisperbaby22

Again, the paths you walk will not always work out for you. Of course, that's easy for me to say because I am old and I have figured out the paths that work for me. I think back to when I was your age, and the same doubts and anxieties attacked me. I feel I was lucky, because I had so many things that were working for me. What's working for you now is horses, and your incredible drive. I feel that it is normal for a highly intelligent and driven young woman to go though all these growing pains. I can tell you that things will get better, but of course that is kind of silly. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, hence all the "stuff".


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## PoptartShop

Yes! I feel the same way when it comes to dating. Every single date I've gone on (even if the guy was a total gentlemen, respectful etc.) it turned out horrible. They either go back to their ex (which mind you, isn't even a 'good' girl!), they disappear, or they just want one thing. Even if I do go on a date, I can't get excited, can't even have a good time because it always goes the same way. I have my stuff together and guys just waste my time. Like, the guys who act like they're decent/nice guys really aren't, it's sad. I just don't waste my time with it anymore. Like, I really have zero intentions of dating right now either. LOL, just not worth it. Maybe someday that'll change but for now? Nope. I totally agree with you. & it gives me anxiety too. Like, I've been through so much & nobody's proved me otherwise so I just don't even do it anymore. :lol: 
Some of my friends are like you're 25, date! I'm like...I've been single for 7 years, I've dated many times since then & I just would rather not right now. Like, I tell them if you've been through what I've been through you wouldn't wanna date either haha. Movie dates/dinner dates aren't even exciting anymore...it's always the same, every time. Every time I give it another chance, it blows up in my face so nope, rather not! 
I'll just stay sprawled out on my queen size bed!

I hope there's a saddle out there somewhere that fits mister Raphael. I'm glad he's doing well otherwise though. He's a good boy!  & Frankie will be good as new when she gets her teeth done.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- that's pretty much how I feel about the class.

Thank you. I'm really anxious to see how she turns out as well. We've had a few hiccups but I'm okay with that as she's so young and time off for a baby isn't a bad thing. 

The teeth were checked and they need to be done, so we're giving Frankie time off until her teeth get done on Tuesday, so crosses fingers! It could be chiropractic but I think it's really her teeth, if not chiropractic will be the next step and an EPM titer.

I feel bad for him too. I use a thinline pad, I've tried a fleece pad with different saddles, shim, different things to try to prevent the saddles from sliding up his shoulder but they all do and cause him discomfort. I think Frankie's saddle would fit if it were flocked to him but I'm not flocking my saddle for him when he isnt' my horse and then it wouldn't fit Frankie who I bought the saddle for.

They really can be. For me it isn't worth it. I have a hard time coping with powerful emotions and really just can't cope with it. It's too much drama and intensity. I don't have it in me, so no it isn't worth it.
_____________

Tanja- Thank you. It is really good advice. Im definitely not looking for it and honestly hadn't thought much about it in awhile but the reason I had thought about it is because I had a dream where I was with a man and I loved him and vice versa, I was meeting his family and we were laughing and having a good time. It felt so real and so vivid, it was in that moment that I felt the most whole in my entire existence like I had been waiting for that my entire life for that moment and it was everything I ever wanted. I just felt whole and so happy but not in a calm, sustainable way.

And yep I use a thinline under a saddle before every ride. Sometimes a fleece pad but with Raphael the problem is the saddles come up over his shoulders and block his shoulders and put pressure down on his withers. I haven't found anything that'll stay in place. But thank you for the article! It was an interesting read! 
_____________

whisperbaby22- Thank you for your input. I appreciate your insight  it was really helpful and made me smile. 
_____________

Allison- Exactly. You get disappointed and let down so many times, you just cant take it anymore. You can't get excited or bother to care or even try. It's too draining and painful. I'm a little older than you but I don't know if it changes. I guess if it's meant to be, it'll be and if not, it won't. You can't go looking for it, just gotta let life happen and magic will happen or it wont and in either case it'll be okay. It's too painful to get your hopes up and being single is a heck of a lot happier than being in a miserable situation where you're losing your self esteem, sense of self and love of life.

But I just sleep with my cats on my Queen size bed lol. Me and the cats sleep on me lol then Im paralyzed for fear of disturbing their rest. 

And I hope so. I want to be able to ride him and he's happy, going pain free. 
_____________

Update

Frankie definitely needs her teeth done, so Tuesday her teeth are being done. Then if that doesn't fix the issues we're looking at chiropractic and an EPM titer. I really hope it's not EPM. It's so expensive to treat and with all the expenses coming up I'm not sure I can afford it all without blowing out my savings. It's a bit depressing. I don't know if I'll be able to afford a show season this year. That'll be 10yrs running. I'd really like to show and compete. It's just something I've been saving up for and something I've been wanting to do for a while and to really focus myself and if I eventually want to be a real professional than I need a show record. I'd really like to start working towards my bronze. A friend of mine offered to let me ride her 3rd level mare to get my bronze but I can't afford to show 2 horses, let alone to show someone elses horse though it was a really nice offer. And I'm sure my trainers would help me out with getting a horse to take to shows if I just wanted my bronze medal and start working towards a silver but I can't afford a lease for that but I'd love to if I could.


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## frlsgirl

I know it can be so overwhelming. But, look at it this way; the medal system in the US just means that you had the money and the right horse to get qualifying scores. It does not a rider make. I bet a lot of medalists in the US could not pass the German medal equivalent; in Germany the "Reiterabzeichen" requires a lot more than a few Dressage scores on a fancy horse. It includes jumping scores as well as riding theory exam. You can create riding magic with Frankie at home in the arena, by yourself without anyone to witness it or judge you and that's more valuable than any medal!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I agree. I've known riders who have the their bronze and silver medal but are really poor riders and honestly not skilled but can sufficiently go through the motions on a made horse, someone else rides and trains. For me earning the medals means something because it will be on a horse I made. A horse I broke and developed. For me it's to say I can and also to always have a goal because you learn a lot when in the show ring and how to approach something. It's something that means something to me, kind of like a symbol of all the hard work that went into it. It's just something I always wanted to earn.
_________________

Plan for today is to take Raphael out hacking in the fields. I want to gallop him and just let him have fun and play because he's not going right. He seems happier in my saddle than anything else I've tried so far but 

Eventually I'm contemplating getting a decent but cheap jumping saddle for hacking and cross training. I wish I had kept my old bates saddle. But who knows maybe I'll eventually get a wintec (flocked) for that because I hate hacking out and going out on trails or in fields in a dressage saddle. Two point is a lot more natural feeling in a close contact. I was an event and jumper for a while, so I think that's why it feels so unnatural to go out on trails or in fields in a dressage saddle. I hate the feeling of going over a jump in a dressage saddle. I've done it but it's an awful feeling. For the hack, I may grab Pam's old jump saddle and take Raphael out. I think he just needs a break, so my goal is to take him out as a few times this week to freshen him up and get him working and happy again because right now I can't figure out what's going on. I suspect he needs the chiropractor but his muscles are SO tight, I'm not that rough or strong with him and he's just so tight and hard to get through and taking the contact. He doesn't feel like himself, so I think he needs the chiropractor. But he's not my horse, so it isn't my call. 

We did quite a bit of stretchy work yesterday just trying to get those muscles to relax. He just needs to get out and have fun. 

http://www.doversaddlery.com/wintec-500-close-contact-saddle-with-cair/p/X1-15037/

Frankie went over some cavaletti with me. We walked in hand and she was very good. She got a bit excited or bored from walking back and forth and decided to jump them. I set up two walking distance a part, middle height. And she seemed to love it. At first she was hesitant then she got going and was like woah this is SO cool! She has really excellent form when she does jump. Again we were walking them but she had a lot of fun and seemed to gain confidence in herself. I think cavaletti and polls are SO good for youngsters because it makes them more aware of their legs and body. It makes them think and pay attention and I think with horses it's very important not to just always do the same thing or always do arena work. I think sometimes they just need to go out in a field and have fun. Going up and down hills, seeing new things. I think it's great for them! I wish I had access to the trails I had when I was in Oregon/Washington state. I used to trail ride every weekend and just go up and down hills and gallop for hours. My eventer loved it! He was a much happier horse then.

Frankie also had a fall yesterday. I had her trotting in the arena in a halter and she spooked, lost her footing and fell down. Shoulder, rib, hip, crashed to the floor. She scuffed her knee, all surface level. She's fine. She was a little stunned it happened but wasn't too upset about it. Just trotted on and was fine. Just removed the hair off her knees. No swelling or anything.


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## frlsgirl

Poor girlie, glad she's ok. Ana tripped and fell last year on the lunge and immediately came running up to me "mom, mom, the ground tried to eat me" - it's great when they can recover and keep their brains about it. Boo on continued saddle problems with Raphael - hopefully you can find a solution soon. With all the advances in modern technology I can't believe that we haven't figured out saddle fitting yet; there's got to be a better way. Maybe a 3d model of the horse, then mold the saddle to the 3d model and use computer simulated activities such as W/T/C and jumping with different stirrup bar positions, different rider configurations to find the best fit.


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## whisperbaby22

You know, that's a great idea. You should pursue that - maybe someday you'll be rich!


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## PoptartShop

I hope you had a good ride on Raphael.  It'll be nice to get out of the arena & do some fun stuff. 
Oh no, sorry to hear about Frankie. Glad she is OK. Poor thing!

I hope you find a saddle for Raphael soon too, ugh! So hard to find a saddle that will fit him just right!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja-I really wish it worked that way! I hope such an invention comes around some day and they can fine tune it so it really works. That would be something to have a saddle perfectly fitted to them. And unfortunately flexible tree are awful to ride in. I wouldn't mind a molding tree where if they could come up with something that shapes itself to the horse's back or IDK. One of my friends will be taking a saddle design course at some point. 

Awww poor Ana. It's scary when they go down like that. My heart was in my throat! But I think I was more worried than Frankie was. She just got up like woah that just happened and trotted off. 
___________

whisperbaby22- I think she could if she could make it work!
___________

Allison- Raphael was great! He was quite brave and LOVED it!! He was so good about everything. Afterwards I walked him in hand through some cavaletti and he loved that. I did it with Frankie and Friday too, it's really good for them. I think walking over them is very useful. I wish I had access to trails but oh well 15 acres of fields is fine! 

She bounced back pretty quickly. I've been putting my MSM linament on her and it seems to be making a big difference.

Thank you. I'd like to find a saddle that works for him too. He just HATES it when a saddle comes up over his shoulder. Arabians are very picky!
___________

Some of Frankie showing off. Going left she isn't quite right. I hope it's just her teeth which has been pushed back to next Tuesday :-( which I'm not happy about because that means another week without riding her but we're doing a soundness exam too because it's really weird how she is riding left. Like she just can't turn, not matter how I position or time myself. We tried everything one lesson and nothing worked.

just for the record trying to lunge and video at the same time is difficult lol because lunging takes quite a bit of focus and I should have been more mindful of where I had her positioned lol. oh well. 





Im pretty sure Raphael needs to see the chiropractor. I lunged him yesterday in draw reins, no saddle and no matter what exercises I did he just couldn't bend in a certain spot in his rib cage like he was stuck. I thought maybe it was me not doing something right or saddle fit (I still think saddle is a factor) but I really think he needs to see the chiropractor, so I'm going to ask tomorrow if he can see the chiropractor.

Im hoping to get Friday going as well, now that we have a saddle that should fit him.

Computer Science is still killing me. It's causing me a lot of mental pain. I hate it. It really isn't for me. I'm more of a research and analysis type. Give me the data or I'll figure out where to get it from but to construct my own world and try to create my own "laws of physics" that govern within a program, just nope. That is not how my brain works.


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## frlsgirl

Frankie looks good. And apparently feels good too. Love your crew of little helpers. I hear you on struggling with abstract information or lack thereof. That's what's causing me most of my anxiety at work right now. If you give me something concrete, I can work all kinds of magic with it. But don't ask me to create something out of nothing. I miss my old boss - he would always shield me from situations like this and then he would get the data from me by asking me in such a way where it made sense. Since he's been gone I have to deal with owner directly and he's about to drive me insane; so much so that I didn't even go to work today. I simply cannot deal with him today. The good news is that he usually forgets what he asked for within a day or two so by the time I get back to the office the latest shi* storm will have blown over. Hang in there; the class is almost over.


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## PoptartShop

Aww Frankie is such a happy girl!  Sucha pretty girl. Love the video!

I'm glad you had a good ride on Raphael!! That's awesome! Definitely can't complain about riding in fields, it makes you feel so free. :lol: The chiro will help him too. 

I'm sorry again about that darn class!  I'd be struggling too, it just sounds way too complex & so tedious!


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## Tazzie

Awww, sorry Frankie had a fall! Thank goodness she's ok though!!

I'm glad Raphael was good on the trail! I can just imagine how much he enjoyed that!! Hopefully he can see the chiro soon :sad: Izzie had issues bending right last Monday, and took her to the chiro. She had a spot on her neck that kept her from being able to bend right, and a whole slew of issues through her ribs and back. Guessing someone played too rough.

Hopefully Frankie has her teeth done soon!! And you can figure out what the heck is going on! Poor pony!

But the video is great, and your crew is wonderful! This stupid class will be done with SOON, thank goodness!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Definitely that's exactly how I feel about it. It's so overwhelming and your brain goes WAY into over drive and get very frustrating because it is SO vast and SO expansive in terms of possibilities that your brain doesn't even know where to begin or how to process the magnitude of all of it. Some people can get down to the nitty gritty and systematically work it through but I'm not one of those people. 

But thank you. I love my crew too. My cats are my babies though lol.

And Frankie seems to be feeling well, she just can't bend left atm.
_____________

Allison- She is. She is a reserved but very happy personality.

He definitely enjoys going out in the fields and going through and trotting up hills and things but Im still hoping he can see the chiropractor. I asked my trainer/his owner but she hasn't gotten back to me. She has a lot on her plate atm.

Hey it's alright. It'll be over soon enough and my friend's husband is going to tutor me and help me out with it, so hopefully I'll at least pass the class with a C lol. That's my HOPE.
_____________

Katie-Definitely! I'm very thankful she's alright! I was told she takes after me. Stupid, random stuff just happen lol

Unfortunately no trails, just field riding but he seemed to really enjoy it. He lost confidence sometimes and if he loses confidence you cant' reason with him a whole lot but a work in progress. He's basically either yes or HEL1 NO, F YOU. Oh poor Izzie :-( that doesn't surprise me. When they're out it creates a whole slew of different problems.

I sure hope so. I just want to get in a program with my mare and get her going!

But thank you. I love all my fur babies, they're my buddies. 
_____________

UPDATE

Rode Friday yesterday, he was HOT. Like a cannon ready to set loose. He was full of it but I managed it very well and no explosions. He had some moments of testiness but Mari had a lunge line behind him. Just held it and he was like oh right, so I have to go forward when you ask *shakes head* it's not surprising. He's 6 and bound to play those games.

And I'm mostly overwhelmed and have a lot on my plate atm. Also got really frustrated at school because people frustrate me. I DO NOT understand emotional reasoning or how people can turn something very objective and data related into something personal. It absolutely surprises me. I stated that many couples/women of higher education generally have less children than people who are less educated. And it actually offended people, I was shocked. It's a statistic, as in actual research papers and studies observe why highly educated people have less children and a big part is how much time it takes to complete getting an education and often times highly educated people get married later in life and by the time they're in a place to have kids will either have a few kids or no children or can't get pregnant because their fertility is gone. There is a lot more to it than that but I'm exhausted and don't want to get into it. I was absolutely stunned that it could even be seen as remotely offensive in any way shape or form and honestly if people are offended by that, that's pathetic. They can't even approach a statistical or scientific article with objectivity or reason ability. 

lol they also don't like me which honestly I don't care. I'm pretty polite/nice to everyone but I stand on principle and am not going to play dumb to make people feel better about themselves. I am going to challenge people, I am going to be honest and state my thoughts, not just bend over for appeasement. And I am not going to play the stupid emotional based, weird games people play with each other. I don't get it. I wont play. But it reminded me that people if they don't like you will never understand even if you articulate your thoughts clear as day because they're blinded by emotion, rather than using any kind of logical deductions. OR bothering to exercise objective reasoning and LISTENING, rather than assuming and making fooling statements with no basis other than emotion. Im peopled out, they exhaust and frustrate me to no end. It's times like this I thank God for being autistic. A fact doesn't become fiction just because someone doesn't like the result. I joke Im no longer human, I'm a vulcan.

I also get irritated when people take things way out of context and don't even bother to actually understand what you say and miss the point so far that you realize reasoning with them is like reasoning with a stone wall. Pointless and a total waste of time. And it shocks me because I'm open to learning something new and being shown that I'm wrong but do it by reason/logic, not by insulting me or calling me an idiot because I did my research and could back it. Emotional reasoning drives me insane. Professor and I talked about it because he knew exactly what I was talking about and agreed and it was honestly stupid and shocked me.


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## whisperbaby22

A lot of the time people being offended is just them trying to figure themselves out. Better educated women having less children is a fact, in fact someone made a movie about how the intelligent bred themselves out of existence and dummies were ruling the U.S. Some kind of comedy. It takes a long time to figure yourself out, and mostly people express the opinions that they think will gain them the most of whatever it is they want. It's a life long quest, and it changes along the way, because we change so much over the years. So I do not think those people were really offended, it was just a knee jerk reaction that they think is the right way to think. 

I applaud your tenacity - me, I just tend to kind of give people the impression that I go along with them without ever commiting to anything.


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## frlsgirl

Lol - I do have two college degrees and no children but I do not consider myself unusually intelligent - in fact, I'm always worried that people find out how much I don't know. Or perhaps realizing that there is so much that one does not know, is indeed a sign of intelligence? I just can't with good conscience put children in this world when I don't know that I can take care of them or that I would be a good mother.

Poor Friday sounds like he's going through puberty right now. Does he get plenty of turn out? 

Lol about the brutal honesty - my husband has spit out his food many times during dinner because I would say something totally blunt that he wasn't expecting. I find that the older I get the less filtering I use, which can get me into trouble. So then I don't say anything at all because I'm afraid I might offend someone.


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## Tazzie

Fields, trails, close enough :lol: long as he enjoyed it!!

And oh Friday! You silly pony!

As for the statistics and people getting super cranky, they also forget there are always exceptions to every statement. I consider myself reasonably intelligent, which is also why we stopped at two kids (I wanted to ensure we could afford life with two kids and still enjoy our hobbies.) Nick's cousin is wickedly smart, as are her mom and dad (Nick's aunt and uncle). They had six children. Because of this, Nick's cousin also wants a large family. So while they are all extremely smart people (we're talking she's a nurse that helps reattach/recreate body parts (aka design a penis or a vagina, if I may be so crude), and has multiple degrees), they grew up with large families and want that themselves. They need to look at statistics and go "huh, interesting" instead of jumping up in arms and saying you're a horrible person (which you aren't, you're a wonderfully honest person). I will never understand people who get so upset reading such simple things.

Anyway, how's miss Frankie? We need some pictures :lol:

(PS, I swear I'll respond to your Facebook message soon. I can't get on Facebook on my work computer, and haven't had a ton of time lately to answer; hoping to respond tonight)


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- Thank you. That is a good way to think about it, I hadn't though about them just trying to appease themselves or their buddies. lol and yes Idiocracy is funny! I don't think it will get that bad but who knows. I have no idea what is going to happen someday but atm the birth rate among highly educated women is going up but it is still significantly lower than the birth rate among uneducated women.

I've also noticed some men are especially sensitive to being contradicted particularly by a woman. I know a lot of mature, well adjusted men but some are petty and believe a "man's" place is to be seen as superior to a woman. lol but I'm a former Marine and I'll say as a female, most of the guys are respectful of women and don't care but some you really have to fight for EVERYTHING just for basic human decency and respect. Some men see women as lesser beings because they lack the emotional maturity or strength to see equals. It can be cultural too. 
__________________

Tanja- lol that sounds like the anxiety underplaying yourself. I don't believe education level = intelligence but it requires a good deal of intelligence to say maybe I'm not all that smart? I have the same thoughts, I think realizing all that you don't know is a sign of intelligence, rather than weakness. It's the foolish and stupid who assume they know everything and have nothing else to learn or close themselves off to new information or perspectives. But I understand.

Friday gets a lot of turnout. All the horse's get at least 8 hours outside, unless the weather is bad. 

lol that's awesome! I guess you keep him on his toes! And I agree you can't spend your whole life tip toeing around hyper sensitive people. I think a lot of hypersensitive people need to get over themselves and at least be reasonable. Im all about basic respect and common decency but sometimes people are flat our ridiculous and culturally I think we need to stop playing to the emotionally weak, hypersensitive, closed minded people who cant cope and expect everyone around them to shut down to appease them. 
__________________

Katie- Definitely!

He is. He's a super cool horse to ride but he is very silly!

Exactly! Another thing people dont realize is that high or a lot of education doesn't equal intelligence. It can but there are uneducated people who are extremely intelligent and highly educated people who are not very smart. I also said most, not all which means there are people who are highly educated and have a lot of kids but statistics show a woman even with one degree is less likely to have kids. Statistics are not set in stone, they represent probability. But exactly. People are frustrating.

lol it's all good I know you're SUPER busy!! And Frankie is doing well. She was frisky yesterday. I tried to trot her in hand and she kicked up her heels and kicked my butt literally. I'm okay, just a little bruise but I sometimes wonder how I do this to myself. She didn't seem frisky when I was hand walking her. She also gave me a back massage with her mouth, she gets smacked if she uses teeth but I let her do more than I probably should lol. She's a goof.
__________________

Update

I was asked to ride a friend's horse, so I was riding him and he was really a good boy. I was surprised to get on a horse who is so agreeable and good to work with. He's a 17.1h event horse. Very thoroughbred-like to ride. But he was fun. I worked a bit on him being more leg to hand riding and worked a bit on collection, so lots of core, half halt, release so he carries himself better but his owner has done a nice job with him. She's a really talented kid. But it was funny because Mari asked what I was doing on him and I said his owner asked me to and she was like well she didn't ask for me or Pam's permission and I was like oh I didn't know that part which in total honesty to me is ridiculous. Why can't someone make decisions for their own horse? Are we in a program that requires permission from someone who isn't an owner? It's just ridiculous to me and actually p!sses me off, I HATE being controlled for reasons that don't make sense and aren't necessary and do not respect people's right to make their own choices about THEIR life and situation. I deeply resent that, especially when we spend the kind of money that we do to be there.

I'm an independent person to being with but I'm big on what I see as BASIC rights and BASIC respect. I think it's from having been in the Marine Corps that I DEEPLY RESENT being told what I can or can't do when it doesn't make sense. It's the principle of being dominated and made to appease that ticks me off. Let me do so of my own free will, not by force or pressure. I resent being a subject and told what I can or can't do in a way that is unreasonable and doesn't make sense.

Also learning more about Mandela. I've admired Mandela the man, not the legend for a long time because he made real change in South Africa and did not take a violent approach. He chose a longer lasting, significantly more successful approach. Two wrongs do not make a right and the British colonizers were AWFUL to the colonized, it disgusts me but it equally disgusts me when the colonized retaliate as the colonizers did. I'm also VERY picky about what I'll watch or read about people who have become legends because I hate reading obvious flattery and biases, I like reading something real and to see the humanity of a real figure. Not an idealized figure. I admire those who bring effective peace. I also hate when people change historical fact to suit their political agenda, just share the facts - no games or lies to try to change history. I understand perspective differs but blah. I'm re-reading "Guns, Germs and Steel" and also my economics book.

Walked Frankie. She was frisky! Raphael and Friday saw the chiropractor yesterday.


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## frlsgirl

Lol about being surprised about an agreeable horse. I've certainly had that experience. "You mean I can just ask him and he'll actually do it?" Makes you wonder if there's a catch; surely riding can't be THAT easy.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Exactly! It's so nice! I'm used to riding babies who are either testy or part arab or are learning or something that need to be "reschooled" that it was surprising because I'm not used to riding mature horses that are going pretty well. 
___________

I rode Raphael and Friday yesterday.

Friday had a tantrum but we worked through it. The Chiropractor found barely anything wrong with him, Raphael had a spot in his neck. I think saddle fit is why they're still being kinda funny about things but Friday has to get over it. He's going to be someone else's horse and isn't always going to have perfect conditions and has to learn how to work through it. Raphael was good but saddle fit is driving me nuts. In Germany the saddles almost never fit the horses and yeah the horse's were tight and not going the best they could but they went and learned how to work through it because sometimes you just have to suck it up. Raphael you cant really get him to get it together because he goes into F you NO mode and I'm not willing to undue all the progress and willingness I've gained with him. 

I'm also looking at nature and nurture studies with twin studies, super interesting. Also finding through actual research studies that veganism long term is not a healthy diet because it lacks key nutrients like natural vitamin A and complete proteins because our bodies are designed to be omnivores. Fertility also significantly decreases among vegetarian and vegans. I don't have a problem with making choices but I get annoyed when people try to "convert" you to their way of life and make false claims. They find results can be short term because the body is pretty adaptable but I guess it affects the bodies effectiveness of digesting food and basically radical diets can be quite harmful because they're no balanced and often miss major food groups which is very interesting. 

Re-reading Guns, Germs and Steel which has a lot of prehistory in it but fascinating stuff.

Also some Frankie pictures. Last one is just of my favorite with her.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Update

I'm riding Leo which has been quite nice. He is a VERY emotionally sensitive horse, he's a horse someone either can ride or cant. It's hard to explain because he's the type of horse who needs a very sensitive rider. You CANNOT bully this horse, he WILL put you into a wall. He put an olympic rider in his place and if a rider gets too demanding which may not be that demanding, he will look after himself. But he is good for lesson riders because he is a good boy. He was absolutely FABULOUS for me. He hadn't been ridden since December because there hasn't been anybody to ride him, so I'm getting him going again. He's a 16.3h hanoverian gelding by Londonderry. I used to ride him all the time, I also originally rehabbed him after he was off for a 18 months with a suspensory injury. I rode him for about 2yrs? But it was nice. We did walk, trot, canter but plenty of walk breaks and nothing demanding. He was so ready to go, I had to be pretty careful not to set him off because he was ready. I didn't ride him with a whip. And one thing I remember about him is if you touch him too hard with the whip he lets out a strong buck. His canter is AWFUL, it really spins you around. It was hard on my lower back but Im sure when he gets stronger behind and can sit more it wont be so bad. He's pretty downhill and has a VERY powerful hind end. VERY smart horse. Very marish to ride. I think a stereotypes chestnut mare is how I'd describe Leo to ride but he was great today. I bathed him and he was awesome!

Raphael was also good, I had to ride my butt off but he was a good boy. I had to work for everything I got and I rode through a few bucks but I think it was a good lesson for Raphael and he ended up being great! And really engaged his back and used himself well. His walk felt the best it ever has which on him is a big deal. He's becoming so much more ridable. He's one that I have to ride very firm but at the same time be very encouraging and rewarding. 

My knee is getting progressively worse. I don't know what's wrong. My x-rays on it were clean but it might be my ACL, MCL or who knows. I'm in constant pain so it doesn't really matter but it's been getting a lot worse. I'm not complaining but I am concerned about the future because I'm not 30 yet and I have a lot of degenerative problems from my time in the Marine Corps. I have a list but grrr I hope I wont need surgery but this knee has gotten progressively worse over the last 3yrs. The stability is lacking

Didn't ride Friday(horse). Had to work on computer science with a tutor who REALLY helped me A LOT. I felt like a tard but oh well. Its not my thing! And I gave Frankie a bath. She was AWFUL to bathe. Just awful. I smacked her a few times. It was WARM, we had warm water and it was not at all bad but she HATES baths and is just awful about them. I have no idea why. She's good about everything else but she hates baths. She's been pretty full of herself lately. Definitely getting higher energy. I'm hoping she'll be a bit hotter under saddle when I finally get to ride her again. Well I'll be riding her Monday night then for the vet on Tuesday. I really hope it's just teeth that are the problem but we'll see. I really just want to ride my mare again. She's my favorite!

Note I point the whip at her rib cage to push her out and to help with bend and step.


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## Rainaisabelle

She's growing! What a gorgeous girl! She definitely knows she's pretty haha


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## PoptartShop

Wow, that's awesome you had a good ride on Leo.  Looks like you are one of the people who 'CAN' ride him!  Awww! Glad Raphael was good too. 
Omg you and Frankie are so darn cute! Pretty girls! She looks so shiny and amazing, even though she was a little brat during her bath LOL! 

Sorry to hear about your knee.  Ouch. 

As for the tutor, nothing wrong with that AT ALL! I would've done the same thing. I'm glad you got some guidance and it's helping you.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Raina-Thank you. I think so. I'm not sure how confident she really is but it's definitely improving. She's opinionated and gaining confidence in herself!
____________

Allison- Thank you. I'm pretty excited to be riding him again. He's a cool horse. His trot is INCREDIBLE and he really is a very nice horse. He's fun when he wants to do it, I just want to keep motivating him because he shuts off fairly quickly. He's been bullied by a certain olympic rider who made him rear and almost flip over on him because he was just a bully to horses.

But thank you. she is a pretty girl. We get lots of comments on how shiny is and I keep referring back to the san juan products, Vitamin E, probiotics, MSM and using their shampoo/conditioner/detangler and spray. Their products are the bets I've ever used.

Definitely not! He's my friend's husband. He helped me out a LOT! I was definitely thankful for the help too. Im treating them to dinner at some point. 
____________

Update

Francesca got her teeth done today.

She almost kicked me yesterday. I had lunged her and trotted her in hand and she tore out and side ways kicked at me. She was within inches of kicked me in the rib cage on the right hand side. That really scared me. Like life flash before my eyes, it happened so fast and was such an innocent thing. If I had been in a different spot, I think I would either be in critical condition or dead. Im counting my blessings. She also HATES clipping, I took advantage after she was drugged. She wasn't very well sedated to have her teeth done but I added a twitch to help. I've worked with her a few times with clipper, she has no bad experiences and was just a brat. To do her bridle path, she almost kicked me. I also clipped under her chin for no reason, other than to get teach her about it. She's fine with her legs and tail being clipped but blah. She's not good about clipping or bathing. No bad experiences. Just hates it. It will be a process. She's gotten better about polos. She used to be awful about putting polos on her back legs but now she's like normal. Just gotta go through the phases, baby fun.

She was GREAT to ride though. Haven't ridden her in over a week and she was stellar! I was super proud of her! She tried really hard and she seems to really like being ridden. After the ride I'd never seen her look so pleased with herself. She likes having a job and I think she's gaining confidence from it. Vet says to put her back to work but gave us a modified program. He said to keep rides shorter and ride her in short bursts, etc since she's growing. 

I'm also in love with a wool felt half pad, I want to buy one. It's WONDERFUL. It evens out any pressure. Lifts up if saddle is too wide, it's AWESOME! But need one that isn't too thick.








Also introducing Leo who is a 16yr old hanoverian gelding by Londonderry who I used to ride. I rehabbed him from 18months off. He hasn't been ridden since December, so Mari asked if I'd ride him and I said sure. He is a BIG bodied horse, super powerful.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad Frankie got her teeth done! And yay for a new modified program! Hopefully she feels better now!

And it sure sounds like you have your work cut out for you! Silly horses deciding some things are just too horrible to deal with!

I hope Leo legs up well! He's a handsome boy!


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## frlsgirl

I love the 3rd pick of Leo; you can almost hear him say "Yeah, I'm special, so what? Deal with it!"

That's so scary about your near death experience with Frankie; it makes you realize that they could really hurt you if they wanted to.

Whenever they sedate Ana it usually takes 2 people to get her back to her stall; I guess that's the plus side of having a small horse; it hits her really hard.


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## PoptartShop

Aww, Frankie is such a stinker. LOL, hopefully she gets over baths & being clipped. I'm glad you didn't get hurt. Whew, that was a close one. :sad: I know she didn't mean it though. It is true though, they are big animals & very powerful. She looks so nice & clean. <3 So beautiful!

Leo is super handsome too. Wow, he's definitely full-bodied!


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## Tihannah

Frankie is getting more stunning by the day! And holy cow, so glad you weren't kicked!

Catching up on journals, but totally agree on not understanding why someone would need permission to have you ride THEIR horse? I would think that would be up to the owner as well.

But so jealous you get to ride so many lovely horses!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- Me too! I really hope to get her back in a full program! 

I think so. I keep wondering why I'm in so much pain and then I remember oh yeah, I work with horses.

I hope so too! So far he's been really good. He's interesting to ride in the canter, he takes a lot to keep a true 3 beat rhythm because he wants to 4 beat and kind of jump up and down in a lateral way. It's hard to explain. He hasn't 4beated with me but I can feel his tendency to. I think it's because he was a lesson horse and to "collect" people compressed in the bridle, rather than legging him up to collect. Collection takes a lot of leg and core. This isn't necessarily to you but I try to be specific.
____________

Tanja- lol he does think well of himself. He's VERY opinionated. He is a VERY marish ride. He hasn't had the behavior with me but I've seen it where rider is being soft, nice, barely touches his bottom with the whip like it probably didn't touch him but moved and he'll buck. He has rough, scary bucks. If there is a horse that can buck it's Leo.

It really does! I was scared! It definitely woke me up and reminded me to be very mindful around Frankie. She is a good mare but she can be difficult and unpredictable though I've never had a horse, even the stallions or colts kick out at me with their back legs for trotting in hand.

Poor Ana. She gets knocked out cold! My vet doesn't sedate them to knock them out, he says he doesn't like them that knocked out, so they recover quicker.
____________

Allison- She certainly can be. I have to be mindful with her. She's also not so good about grooming but spanking her or getting after her doesn't help very much. She definitely didn't mean it but she's not aware that she can hurt me and she does things like that, so I'm having to be more mindful. I'm trying to help her be more aware that she can hurt me. She's coming into her own and growing up. She's gaining confidence and figuring herself out.

He really is. He's a good boy. He has quite a bit of tb blood but his dam is by Werther who is very big bodied.
____________

Tina- Thank you. She's really coming into herself, shes' gaining a lot of confidence and self assurance. She getting a lot sharper to ride as well and very forward thinking. She rides like a big moving, more powerful thoroughbred lots of zeal or enthusiasm for work. Very eager to mover forward and not always interested in "woah." So she's really fun! But definitely. It was a wake up call to me. I have to be much more mindful, most of the babies have not been like her but every horse is an individual and it's not out of meanness, just being a horse and not understanding that she could kill or hurt me like that.

Exactly! It seems silly to me. If someone asks you to ride their horse, it's between you and them. Why need approval beyond that? But I understand. I hope to catch up on journals tomorrow evening!

But thank you. I'm very grateful for the opportunities I have to ride all these horses. I'm learning a lot but it's also very hard on my body. My whole body is in a lot of pain but oh well. I wont give up riding to be more comfortable.
____________

Woo I'm EXHAUSTED. So if I don't respond to all the journals today please accept my forgivness. I have finals coming up and a project due and I'm VERY sleep deprived trying to keep up with the horses/work and school works. I have slept maybe 22 hours this week.

I also listened to an AMAZING Ted Talk from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie who is a Nigerian writer. I wasn't sure what to expect when my Professor showed me this video but it was GREAT!! It has an incredible message, I love it because it makes you think but not in a condescending or judgmental way. Just thought provoking.






Yesterday I rode 4 horses. I'm riding Dooley again this week *YAY* Leo is getting back going, he was a good boy. His canter was WAY better, not so hard on my back and getting a better-truer rhythm. FI also rode Raphael who twisted my back (I rode through a tantrum) he was naughty, I will not ride him without someone on the property, he's also the reason why I will not buy another arab or arab cross. I get along with arabs and not all of them are so difficult but all the weird quirks that are sometimes entirely unreasonable and expensive isn't worth it to me. Friday was a good boy though. It was difficult to get him to pick up the right canter because he feels like he's dropping his right hind and trying to lean on his right shoulder. I can position myself and use my knee and organize him to get him to push correctly but getting him to take the right lead took using the wall to help bump him into the right lead. But I had to lean almost all the way over in my left stirrup to try to keep myself center. It was odd. Hopefully will be riding Frankie tomorrow! Hooray!

I'm also in DESPERATE search of the best half pad. I am not impressed with thinline or sheepskin. The best I've used so far that I can feel a big difference with the horses is a wool felt pad about an inch thick. 

Ignore the price tags. I try to keep my stuff for a LONG time. I'm looking at getting the extra thick one from equifit through smartpak, that way if I don't like it I can return it because I want something that will help with minor saddle fit issues and not overly compress. I prefer something a little thicker, not overly thin. 

https://www.smartpakequine.com/pt/equifit-nonslip-impacteq-contour-half-pad-12263

https://www.smartpakequine.com/pt/equifit-nonslip-contour-half-pad-7897

Invictus Equestrian Performance

https://ecogold.ca/shop/memory-foam-triple-protection-half-pad-dressage/

BufferLUX? | NON-SLIP Dressage Half-Pad with pockets & trim (white)


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## Tihannah

I couldn't imagine riding a horse like that (forward thinking). I think it would feel amazing. I get discouraged sometimes because I feel like most days, every step is pushed with Tess. It's not like, "Okay, now trot" and then she trots and you have to just put her together. Same with the canter. I feel like every gait is not only trying to put her together, but also fighting to keep her going. It makes everything twice as hard for me.

I think its awesome that Frankie is young and you are able to build a solid foundation in her training and mold her. I'm excited to see where you guys go!


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## frlsgirl

Your timing of this post is PERFECT; I made up my mind on my way to work today that I was going to get Ana one of those thinline pads; if I order it today I might still get it in time to ride her Wednesday or Thursday.

Now I'm thinking I might get something different.....


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## Tazzie

I know it wasn't directed at me lol I do enjoy how specific you are with your posts since it does help me in my own riding at times too. So don't stop; I'm sure I'm not the only one that benefits!

He sounds like a real treat to ride though. Tough, but good!

:lol: about the Arabs. I guess I've been lucky in that Izzie has quirks, but she's not unreasonable about them. I love a good warmblood, but at this point I couldn't imagine owning anything other than a Half Arabian. But I can absolutely see how they are not everyone's cup of tea!

Hopefully you get some sleep soon! You definitely need it! Good luck with finals next week!

And I don't think you could go wrong ordering through SmartPak. If you don't like it, or something happens to it within normal use, they are usually really good about returning/exchanging. I love their customer service!


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## PoptartShop

Ah, I hope you get to ride Frankie today.  Wow, after riding all of those horses you definitely better get some rest. Can't imagine how sore you are! :sad: You need sleep like ASAP. 
Ted Talks are awesome, I've seen a few of them (not in person, but online). Very cool. I hope you find a pad that works! I second ordering from SmartPak, they are very very good. Never had any issues with them.

You'll kick butt on those finals, and it just means you are one step closer to being done that class!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- lol that's a bit how Raphael is, constantly having to leg him up and keep him motivated because his attitude is F you I don't want to. It takes a lot to keep him going. It's exhausting vs Leo, Dooley, Friday or Frankie are pretty forward. Dooley is a lot of organizational half halts and it's exhausting keeping him from becoming a run away train lol. Lots of strength to keep him from taking off lol. It's a different style ride and you get used to riding both and at different moments riding either or, or somewhere inbetween. It's different. Lots of core but I think a self motivated horse is more pleasant to ride lol.

But thank you. I'm really excited. Im not quite ready to let anyone else on her yet, as Im the only person who has ever ridden her as of yet but hopefully we'll get her going more this year.
_________

Tanja- I guess so lol. I'm most interested in the equifit atm but I'm not sure f it's long enough but the thinline from what Ive read is pretty over rated. It doesn't make much of a difference from what I've noticed and the studies Ive read show they don't really do that much. I think that's why I've never ridden in one, I haven't noticed much of a difference between using one or not. 

What did you end up getting?
_________

Katie- lol I just never know how people will interpret what I've written because it's never really directed at anyone has no sub text but is just how I think and process. But thank you Im glad my descriptions are somewhat useful lol.

He has been really good. Im proud of him. He really hasnt been bad to ride at all. 

lol maybe it's the part thoroughbred that helps IDK or Izzie's sire had a good brain and her quirks are reasonable. I don't mind reasonable quirks but the outrageous over the top, annoying totally da*n you, unwilling attitude sometimes. Sometimes tries, sometime entirely unreasonable going to put my back out. And all the massage work, chiropractic, saddle fit, etc stuff that is just excessive.

Mari has one that shell let me borrow if she finds it. If I like it, I might buy it or buy it off a website. 
_________

Allison- Thank you. I ended up having a good ride on her. She was a good girl. She feels SO different from the other horses, she feels very delicate and all the aids on her are very soft and delicate. 

It's my whole body, I have so much damage in my hips, knees and back. It's not really the riding but all the damage Ive done to my body that keeps progressing with age. I feel like I'm old and arthritic but when you're in constant pain, you just kinda get used to it. 

But thank you I hope we find a good pad too!

And I sure hope so. I will be happy with a C in computer science, that way I never have to take it again.
_________

Update

I rode Dooley, Leo, and Frankie yesterday. I didn't have time for Friday or Raphael.

Dooley was AWESOME!! He has gotten so much stronger since March and his extensions were out of this world! OMG they just got better and better, we did a few changes but not too many. Some half pass and working on getting better quality of half passes. The ride was maybe 30min and tons of walk breaks. I got off when he seemed to be really enjoying himself but he was getting so strong in the bridle. I think from getting tired but he seemed to be having a blast and getting more enthusiastic and eager to please as the ride went on. He's a good boy. 

Frankie was also very good. I was proud of her. Lots of changes of direction, fabulous canter transitions, good downward and overall was very good. Left was still difficult to get her to steer but work in progress. She's a very delicate ride. I don't know how else to describe it but she feels like riding a fancy thoroughbred. She's very narrow, very soft in the bridle, very delicate in every aspect. Mari said she's a finness style ride, I don't know how else to describe her other than sensitive and delicate feeling like all aids are very soft and she feels like she touches the ground softly and is just light/delicate. I don't know how else to describe it though I do get off of her sore every where because she is like riding a baby horse who is difficult to steer and has big gaits and doesn't know how to organize them. She rides like a baby.

Leo was fabulous. He kept offering to do more and more but he has a cough during warm up that worries me. After he warms up he stops coughing but it still bothers me that he's coughing. Our ride was maybe 20-25 minutes with quite a bit of walk breaks. It is a big deal he's so enthusiastic because he has a reputation for being lazy and unwilling. I haven't been riding him with a whip or anything, just me and I feel like I just suggest and he's like yes mam. We did some steep leg yields yesterday and all I had to do was position and step into the outside stirrup. He was really good. His canter was a little lateral yesterday but I sent him out and it got better. We did an extended canter which Leo willingly offered, I just open my hip and sent him and he was like oh boy! Again I got off when he seemed to be enjoying himself and wasn't too tired. I want him to keep thinking this riding thing is super fun and exciting. I want him to stay eager to work and please and not think oh this is torture. 

I really want to ride today but WAY too much work to do with finals next week and a project in computer science to finish. This is hopefully my very last computer science class I ever have to take and I may become a middle school math teacher, rather than an HS math teacher because to teach it in Hs I have to be a math major and go through calc 3 and a bunch of other stats and math theory type classes I'm like well I don't think that is necessary. Why? If you can do it, doesn't mean you can teach it and I wonder if that's why most of my math teacher in school were AWFUL. I don't really want to major in mathematics, I like math but I don't LOVE it like I want to major in it lol.

I braided Frankie yesterday for practice, her mane needs to be a bit longer to braid well and would prefer to sew her mane but I'll save that for shows.


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## frlsgirl

Nice braid job - Frankie seems to agree! I've ridden an older horse who would cough during warm up and then was fine. Trainer used to say he was getting the cob webs out of his lungs. I guess if they work out of it, it's ok? *Shrugs*

So many things to consider when choosing a career field. Will you have an opportunity to intern? That can really make a big difference in making a decision.


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## DanteDressageNerd

This above is me to a T. That is unfortunately me.

Im EXHAUSTED! My friend's husband helped tutor me a LOT, he gets it because he's the same way but he said I need to work on reforming myself because it's going to bite me in the @ss. It has. For me my instant gratification monkey has ran rampant and my panic monster is tied down by zoloft lol. 

I didn't ride at all this weekend. I had Friday, Raphael, Dooley, Leo, and Frankie on my list and didn't ride anybody :-( but I HAD to get this project done which would have been done and i could have ridden if I wasn't such an AWFUL procrastinator. It's BAD!

I learned a TON about various subjects but not as much on the project...my cat is sat on my thigh while Im trying to type. It's short because it's late and I'm EXHAUSTED!!

Unfortunately it really DOES NOT work and I am NOT proud of it. I have TRIED to change it for a long time...I have failed. I can sit and stare at my laptop or a piece of paper for hours and accomplish nothing. Focus takes a lot of effort for me, even on meds and honestly the anxiety/depression meds make the ADHD worse, plus I have aspergers so super fun trying to get it all working in the line to becoming a fully functional, successful adult lol.

this one is good too


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## Dehda01

Have you seen the videos of bouncing bowling balls on thinline vs felt vs other 1/2 pad materials? The thinline compared ADMIREABLY with its ability to totally shut down the shockwaves. 

Multiple Chiro's I work with swear by them and most importantly, my horses WORK better in a thinline. 

1" felt will change how your saddle fits and we have better materials available to us for shock absorbing now. I do prefer it for my western saddle... but that is a different animal.


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## frlsgirl

If it makes you feel any better, I'm a procrastinator as well. I have to be motivated or else I just won't complete the task. I also work at odd times; for example, I was working really hard on Ana videos until 2am and then I did house work before going to bed. It would have made more sense to do chores first and then work on videos but my brain doesn't work that way; if it's busy trying to figure something out, then I can't be distracted with meaningless chores. I've also noticed that when I'm depressed, I can't seem to get anything done. So don't be so hard on yourself; everyone has a different process. If you were to stop by my house right now, you would be very disappointed at how messy it is.


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## PoptartShop

Aww, Frankie looks good all braided up.  I think it looks nice. I forgot how to braid honestly. :lol: I'm so glad you had good rides on all 3! :smile: Yeah, I can't imagine taking all of those math classes. I struggled so much in mine.
& that's very true- not everyone is good at teaching it just because they are good at it. As with anything in life. 

I'm glad you are focusing on your studies though even though I'm sure it was so tempting to just ride! You will knock those finals dead!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Dehda- that's what I want. slightly evening pressure. I don't think with horses with constantly changing backs you can always keep the saddle perfectly fitting. I'm also riding a variety of different horses where they don't always get a "custom" fit. I personally haven't found the thinline to make much of a difference. It's better than nothing but in the felt the horse's felt better than in the thinline. I'm not saying thinline is a bad product. I just think there are better options. I also think different pads suit rider/horses/saddle for different purposes. I like the thicker pad.

From the articles I've read the science on thinline it's not as good as some of the others like ecogold, equifit, prolite, or some of the other pads on the market. ATM I'm looking at trying the ecogold and if I don't like it I can return it.
_________________

Tanja- lol it sucks being a procrastinator doesnt it? It's like you cant help it and you feel guilty and keep trying to change your ways but it just doesnt remedy. 

Yep. Definitely. The apathy from depression is AWFUL. It kills all your motivation and just makes you numb and feel useless. I hate that feeling too. It's SO SO hard to fight it. lol and I doubt it, it's probably a lot less messy than you think!

Im usually pretty clean but not super neat. I'm a bit chaotic and messy myself lol. But it's not bad lol.
_________________

Allison- Thank you. I'm glad to have had all good rides too! We shall see about how the horse's go today. But no I don't really want to take calc 3 and all those math and stats courses just to teach HS. I just don't think it's necessary to teach through say calc 1-2. I don't need to be a math major, just nope lol. I like math but I dont love it to the extent I want to major is mathematics.

Definitely not. Most of my math teachers were AWFUL and really screwed me up for a while and set me back in math. It's hard for people I think because they make it so difficult to obtain and get frustrated with student who don't learn it innately. It's unfair to the students.

But thank you. I'm a little proud of myself too, though I would have really prefered to have been with the horses rather than behind a computer screen typing and wanting to put my head through a wall from frustration or banging a table because I over thought to the extent that I made my job 10x harder lol. It's why I can't do computer science I over think WAY WAY too much. It's SO ambiguous while at the same time super rigid and formatted. My brain just can't wrap itself around it because it's like trying to learn a new language with sort of-almost mathematical principles that are sometimes counter intuitive and it's over my head.
_________________

Update

Finals week, so study time.

Going to be riding. Dooley, Leo, Raphael, and Frankie tonight. Wish me luck and hopefully Raphael doesn't try to throw out my back today. That'd be preferable.


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## Dehda01

My horses HATED the ecogold saddle pad. I sold it immediately. Which articles g against thinline? COTH, and most articles I have found rated them the highest amounts the thin shock absorbing pads. I have a supracor for some circumstances, but if the saddle is fitted right, it is too thick and you just need something to catch the minor inconsistencies that happen as a horse changes with work. I personally think a correction pad and thinline is the best option for me to have on hand as my youngsters (particularly, but any horse can change depending g on work load) change between fittings. I don't want to have to keep my saddle 2" too wide to have to fit a huge stack of pads under it. It unstabilizes everything!!! Particularly on a round backed horse. Dangerous. 

Fit close with technical materials for the best results. I do like my saddles to be fitted slightly wide through the shoulder for room for lateral movement. Horse need room to move and not be encumbered. The trapezius must not be pinched. They must be able to work through their back. 

Many people squeeze horses into mediums that really shouldn't be in mediums. Or the horse is a medium... and the fitter fits them in a thin pad... and the. The owner adds layer upon layer of padding... and wonders why the horse is not happy. Because the poor thing is working in too tight a saddle. I hate walking in tight shoes too!!


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## PoptartShop

Good luck! I hope your rides went well & Raphael behaved himself!


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## DanteDressageNerd

https://www.thinlineglobal.com/about-thinline-horse-tack/thinline-tack-technology

https://ecogold.ca/science/

https://ecogold.ca/amazing-results-from-ecogold-saddle-pads-in-pressure-scans/

Comparison. Memory foam and equifit out, as well as invictus out perform thinline. Invictus is as thin as thinline and equifit and memory foam are thicker. I want a thicker pad. I have used thinline for a few years and haven't been impressed. Most of our saddles tend to be a hair too wide then too thin but I think it depends on the horse. I prefer a thicker pad and from what I can tell, the horse's seem to too but every horse and rider is different. 

Charlotte Dujardin uses Acavallo on Valegro. 

Invictus Equestrian Performance
______________________

Allison-

Thank you. I'm EXHAUSTED and in a lot of physical pain (I'm always in pain, so no big deal) but mostly looking forward to rest lol. 
________________

Update

Finals have knocked me out. Computer science was BRUTAL. It was PAINFUL, I am hoping I passed. I haven't slept much in the last few days. Last final tomorrow. I need to study but I'm exhausted.

Dooley was fabulous the other day. He was very strong and difficult to organize. Took a while to warm up and I think he was a bit sore because once he warmed up in canter he kept trying to do flying changes to avoid being straight and use himself properly in the canter. He'd also try to get quick, so I couldn't organize his balance back towards the end of the ride. Towards the middle he was great. He's put on a TON of muscle and is definitely developing a lot more muscle over his topline. Again 18.2h oldenburg gelding who was a jumper lol but I'm SO glad I've been able to ride him, he's teaching me a lot and upping my game because he takes a LOT to ride. He's amazing though. 21yrs old and had a hard life. Amazing.

Raphael was mostly good, he was reasonable but I'm hoping to get him going better and riding him a bit more since I'll have more time.

Leo has been FABULOUS. He was SO good today, I almost cried. He's a horse who has a reputation for being a bit of a jerk, lazy, unmotivated, very resistive but I haven't experienced that at all. I don't even ride him with a whip. He tried really hard and was so light, sensitive and reactive. He is super cool. His canter hurts my back (it's just a rough canter, hard on my back). But he was fabulous. He felt so incredibly powerful, Lots of sit, a lot more through, getting straighter (he's very laterally flexible, straightness is more tricky) his escape is haunches in, so we did a bit of haunches out to counter balance it and that helped a lot. He was so willing, all I had to do to lengthen was open my hip and send him. It felt like all I did was suggest and he was like okay. He was super motivated, keeping him back was difficult. I got off while he was on a mission because he had been so good and I want to keep him thinking this riding stuff is fun! Plus I just started riding him again about a week or so ago after he'd had months off. I'd rather take my time to bring him back than to take advantage of his eagerness to please.

Frankie was a bit distracted on monday but FABULOUS tonight. Wow. She rides like a baby, she is very green. She is pretty sensitive. She's a very delicate ride. She is VERY sensitive, not sensitive reactive but she is very aware of every feeling and sensation. I put too much pressure in my fingers and Frankie twisted her head as an example (I mean literally closed my fingers too much). She's a very delicate ride but she's becoming a lot stronger. Today she had a few moments where she didn't feel like a baby or quite so green. But she was lovely, focused and on top of things. She's a bit ADD like her brother, so I think the constant change and communication and not just going around is very helpful for her to focus.

Friday from today. Please keep in mind he hadn't been ridden in a week and was a bit tricky. I had to be careful to keep him up but also not make him too tense or fall on the forehand. He can be tricky but was great for how much time he'd had off. It was a bit stormy.






After much research and talking to Mari, I've decided I'm going to buy the ecogold flip pad. It's WAY more than I actually want to spend but after reading about it, I've decided that's the best option because you can change the thickness of the foam and it's adjustable.

Last final tomorrow. I'm exhausted and going to bed lol. I'm also in a lot of pain, I'm used to it. I'm basically in constant pain but it's been getting progressively worse to where I just have to lay down sometimes and rest. My right knee have gotten a lot worse. My back is a mess. I really need to go to the chiropractor. It won't fix everything but it will definitely take the edge off. Pain is exhausting.


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## frlsgirl

He looks good. I can see what you mean about keeping him up. Ana gets that way when she gets tired. 

One more final, and then you're done. What are you going to do? Have a party? How about a bonfire where you burn your computer programming book?


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## PoptartShop

YAY, that means your computer science class is pretty much over!  I hope you passed too, and I'm sure it was brutal. Ugh. Bet it feels good to be over them though! Just 1 more to go!!!!:dance-smiley05:Wooo!

Then you can relax & do a victory ride!:mrgreen:

Glad all of them were good. It's good you are working with Leo, too! I understand how his canter may hurt your back, it'd probably hurt mine too! Bad back probz lol.
Friday looks very good. Definitely seemed a bit tricky but hey, I'd be rusty if I was off for a week too. LOL :lol: Frankie really is a doll, she's going to turn out so well!  

So glad you are getting through your finals, I know how hard it is. Hang in there. 1 more. You got this.
Hope you feel better too. :sad: Pain sucks. My back has been hurting me again, I think I'm due for more injections soon. Yay!


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## Dehda01

I despised memory foam. I have had the eco gold and oglivy. I feel they collapsed under pressure and just added bulk. Anything can relieve pressure of a crappy fitting wide saddle. 

With a quality fitting saddle, bulk is not a good thing. I can see how that can be helpful if you are trying to fit too wide a saddle on a young horse, but the physics are not behind open foams. It is an old technology.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Thank you. With Friday a lot of it was come up, let out, half halting and trying to get a bigger stride while keeping him from getting quick and tense. He's a fun guy, I think with more strength he'll be able to maintain the up a lot better. He's built a little downhill but doesn't move downhill. He's very sensitive all around. 

lol I LOVE your suggestion and I WISH but unfortunately it makes more economical sense to find it a new and loving home lol. But in all reality my goal is to ride as many horses as possible this summer and get Frankie going. 
_____________

Allison- Exactly! That's exactly how I feel! Finally I can rest for a few days lol.

Yes and Dooley was my victory ride! He licked my face and I think he wants to come home with me in my pocket, unfortunately he is an exceptionally large horse.

Thank you and yes some of the rough canters can definitely be hard on the back! It sucks when you have a bad back, I'm sorry you're in the same boat! But thank you. Leo and I get along for whatever reason. He tries for me which in complete honesty I've never seen him to do for someone else. I've seen both trainers on him and he was tense, tight and very p!ssy. He looked like he was in it for a fight. He also had an olympic rider who was scared of him (the rider who will be nameless tried to bully and intimidate him and Leo had NO tolerance of it). He's a tricky horse. I don't think it's necessarily a "skill" thing but a rider's style thing. He's safe for lessons (riders are 1st level and above riders who lesson on him) and things but if you know what you're doing he's tricky and can be testy but if you get on him and expect him to just do as he's told then no he says up yours. Ask him as a friendly suggestion and praise him for every effort and he's great *shrugs* I don't know. All I know is he tries for me, I don't have to make him do anything. I just suggest or he offers and I allow.

She really is. She's a special cookie. She doesn't like being groomed, bathed or clipped. She's good about most things EXCEPT grooming and pampering. Treats and massages are okay though. She gave me kisses.

But thank you. I'm sorry you're in the same boat :-( chronic pain SUCKS the life out of you. It really sucks! I hope the injections help!
_____________

Dehda- The saddle isn't poorly fitted, it's well fitted to Frankie. I use a few different saddles in a day. These horses are quite sensitive. I ordered the ecogold pad because I think it's the best option and worth trying. 
_____________

Update

I rode Dooley today. He was AMAZING!! He is an older horse and he warms up stiff but he's gotten SO much stronger. Everyday it won't be so good but he was wonderful. He was giving me EVERYTHING he had. He really anticipates and tries to get ahead of you which is he tries to guess ahead and doesn't always listen, so sometimes you have to go to walk and start over. He gets SO excited to work and please. I have to remind him not to try so hard. He's so eager to please and work. He's gotten SO much softer in the contact and a lot more self going. Our walk-canter transitions were relaxed and pleasant and canter to walk. We did a few flying changes that felt lovely and correct. On a circle I took advantage of his over anticipation and did a set of 2 tempis then let him rest. Our half passes were quite a bit better and more organized. A few times he got ahead of me and got too quick and lost the suppleness so the bend and straightness wasn't there. So we did a few transitions to get him thinking back and that helped bring him back to me and LISTEN to my core, rather than look for any and every excuse to take off. We did some serpentines on the buckle which I never though I'd be able to do because he takes SO much to organize and keep from over taking himself. If you don't organize him, he just takes off. I can't believe he's 21 years old. He LOVES to work. Such a good brain. We then did some collected to extended to collected in trot and canter and then I halted and got off and gave him a massage and stretched him. He was SO happy. He's been giving me kisses and been really cuddly. I'll say I feel very loved.

*shrugs* I honestly don't know why but I tend to get along with quirky types and for whatever reason horses want to work for me and try. Not always but I'm not good at motivating horses who don't care or have no motivation what so ever. Not my thing. I'm not a rider with a I'm going to make you attitude. I'll ride through them being testy or jerks but I feel like I suggest, influence and allow more than tell. Im very encouraging and give confidence, so on a horse whose a bit of a jerk and needs a more machine like rider to put them in line or they're a bully or dangerous, not my strong suit. 

Frankie for example is quite sensitive (very feel/pressure sensitive) but I wouldn't say she's whip sensitive though I've never actually spanked her. I'll tap her and for the most part I just carry it or touch her bottom to remind her to step over and help with organization but she's a finess style of ride. I just barely over flexed my fingers and she was twisting her head like I ripped her face off. Very back sensitive, if I post too heavy she gets protective so I have to land in the saddle like I'm landing on egg shells. She's becoming pretty motivated and forward thinking. She's waking up and can be a little hypersensitive but this is a GOOD thing. I'm so excited about how she may ride down the road. I think she's going to be really neat. Her figures of 8 and canter transitions are really coming along and a few moments she feels like a mature horse. She rides pretty baby like. She definitely has a baby brain but she is a very good baby.

I was going to ride Raphael but honestly I didn't have the energy to ride him. He takes everything I have and I was SO tired and in pain.


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## Dehda01

I KNOW your saddles are well fitted, which is why I am recommending you NOT add bulk. It is like adding thick wool socks under slightly too narrow shoes... it causes pressure and/or destabilizes as it lifts the saddle with the bulk. Basic physics.


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## frlsgirl

Glad you're getting lots of saddle time. Riding is the best therapy after all that stress from school. Not good about the pain though. Can you just do a relaxing trail ride? So you get the benefit from riding without stressing your joints so much?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Dehda- I'm trying the ecogold pad. If I don't like it or it makes the horses sore or doesn't make a significant enough improvement I'm sending it back. I'll say having done a lot of intense hikes with 80lbs of gear on my back and strapped to my chest. The wool socks made a WORLD of difference. Other people had blisters on their feet but I didn't because of my thick socks. 
_____________________

Tanja- Thank you. Unfortunately we don't really have access to trails and the pastures are soaking wet, so it's not safe to ride on them. Im feeling a bit better. I honestly think sitting in desks is making my pain worse and likely the stress has made the inflammation worse.

Not a bad idea though. I wish I could ride out on some trails without having to fault 30min
_____________________

Update

Rode Dooley and Leo, lunged Raphael yesterday. 

Dooley I rode him for about 15 minutes and rode him very loose and stretching. It's my last ride on him for a while. But I suspect his leasee rode him which is why I did the stretchy relaxed work to get him supple and relaxed in his body and in a consistent rhythm and in balance because it helps him. I think of good basic dressage work as therapeutic like yoga to improve flexibility, suppleness, strength and be relaxing. Long and low but not on the forehand. On Dooley especially, being on the forehand will make him sore because is so big and powerful and he was a jumper and he was used at a college, so he was used very hard. He did 4ft. When I got on in the trot he shuffled and felt lame, was hollowing in the back and I felt like he'd been contracted in the bridle rather than ridden to (he wasn't softer but how he used his neck and dropped his shoulder right). I did 3 loop serpentines, a few trot-canter transitions and he felt regular, back to sound, loose and happy. Again VERY short ride. Literally just to loosen up because I could see in his back musculature he wasn't over his back when he was ridden because he had a hollowed out line where the saddle had been and he looked uncomfortable. I was surprised by sweat marks because he never sweats when I ride him. I think the 3 loop serpentines back to back really helped him. I did them until he was basically just steering between my position and thigh and staying loose, supple and in the contact which didn't take long then I hopped off. I think it helped him, his posture was a lot better and he looked a lot more comfortable. I gave him a bath and walked him around the property and let him graze. 

Leo's allergies were bothering him, so our ride was short and basically walk, trot, canter. His canter is getting SO much better and less up and down and lateral feeling. Trot was very supple. He was forward and tried but it was short because I felt like he was having a hard time with his allergies and he was really trying, so I didn't think it was fair to ask much more than what I did. So basically warmed up and got off. 

Raphael wants to be a jumper. I lunged him over cavaletti and there was one that was stacked up and when approaching because the cavaletti I sent for him was right next to it, he took the big one and his form was BEAUTIFUL. There was a cavaletti on the other side and he just looked focused and intense. He didn't get his stride all the time but he loves it. I felt like he was telling me this is what I want to do. I've never seen him look so happy or in his element. I'm not a jumper and Raphael has been jumped with a professional jumper and did great but don't know how to tell his owner he doesn't want to be a dressage horse lol.

Also some pictures of Frankie and Dooley. I gave Dooley a bath. I took Frankie's bell boots off and realize how long and upright her front pasterns are, theyre not bad though. Her hind are long and low but not bad. They've definitely gotten better.


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## Dehda01

I love wool socks, but my hiking and winter shoes are a good 1/2 to full size bigger than normal sizes to take that into account. A close fit plus thick wool sock is NOT a good thing with human feet. 

A saddle fitter must take a thick saddle pad into account as well. This is why it is important to fit the horse with the saddle pad you plan to ride in. 

Watch out for saddle roll.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Not much of an update

Frankie had back shoes put on her feet because her feet were chipping (flies) and because I think she needs more support behind. It helps with stability and with as big and powerful a mover as she is, I think it'll help her quite a bit. I also get irritated with people who say barefoot is best and all horses should be barefoot and if not something is wrong. Frankie was barefoot until I bought her, she has good feet, always had a good diet, been out in fields and outdoors most of her life with minimal stall time. Her mom had great feet but her feet chip up in front without shoes and she moves like she's lame. I guess I get irritated with the barefoot vs shod thing, I just ignore extremists on both sides and just figure do what's best for the horse given their performance expectations and how they move. I think she needs more stability behind, especially as we start to do more work with her and with how powerfully she pushes off her hind end and how long and low her hind pasterns are.

I didn't ride today, I chose not to but I spent it with Frankie. Bathed her, she was better this time than last time. She got her new shoes, then we took some pictures and I lunged her. I spent all off my time with her which I haven't done in a LONG time. I think she really enjoyed it. I also braided her mane.

Took some pictures with Frankie today because I was asked to send a picture of myself with Frankie for a review I did on a product but that didn't work out when I tried to get pictures. Frankie and I are awkward personalities lol Frankie is WAY more photogenic than I am but my friend and I arent photogenic at all lol. Literally it baffles me how people can look one way in person and so different in a photograph. My friend looks NOTHING like he does in person. It's just weird. And I always look like I have no eyes and weird. Just how it goes lol. And I was a VERY fit person. I'm relatively fit now but I used to able to throw 180lb guys over my shoulders like they were rag dolls. I did a lot of cross fit, a few mud runs, I've honestly done some insane things. Diving off from 20ft into freezing muddy water to swim 50ft (super painful, hard to breathe), got out of the water and took off to the next obstacle weaving my body up and down through the weave (super fun) and tracking through waist deep water. Rope climbs, etc. I can't do that stuff anymore. Tendenitis will come back into my left hip flexor (it's gotten LOADS better, it used to be so painful I couldnt sleep without medication) and my right knee is busted. Plus my arches are collapsed and my back is a mess.

But growing up I got teased a lot for being more substantial than the other girls and that does irk me. Im not built delicately, I'm muscle dense and athletic. And it may not be as aesthetically pleasing but it gives me the strength and power. I'm glad I don't have a frail build and have shape. I'm pretty solid lol though I remember being asked once if I wore 24in breeches and I was like nope, 28in. I'm not small and I am tall-ish. Not really tall but on the tall side of average.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright yet another update. I know pictures overload! 

But I got some video of me riding Leo from today. Keep in mind he had a few months off and I started bringing him back about 10 days ago so he is weak behind. Also note that his right hind is the one that had a suspensory injury to where he had 18 months off. He has recovered from it (this was years ago) but he is weaker and a little protective of it.

I also will not compress his head/neck to make him more "through." I want him to bend and come off of my position, not my hand (I use some hand but there is a difference of using the rein as a crutch over position vs using rein to help soften, supple and direct the horse to understand what the position meant). I truly think that doesn't develop them as true when they are through and this horse HATES that. Leo has been ridden by an olympic rider who will remain nameless who was actually scared to ride Leo because he tried to pressure Leo and make him submit. Leo is not submissive, he is good natured and he listens if it's a partnership but make it a totalitarian dicatorship and he tells you where to put it. Leo is a HIGHLY intelligent, opinionated horse and he is VERY sensitive to people's emotional energy and character. 

He has a reputation for being lazy and difficult but a good lesson horse. He loves giving lessons but I don't think he's lazy or tricky. I think he's very much so a horse a person either gets along with or doesnt. I think it's very much so a factor of HOW someone rides as opposed to how well they ride. For me he tries his heart out and gives me his all and in return I praise him, give him treats and give him plenty of walk breaks. I've never had to carry a whip on him or use spurs. I've never felt him say no. To me he feels like he has a lot of try and a great work ethic. But when he's ridden a rider cant get on and say do this, do that or he will give you the hoof but if you get on and just suggest and ask he is like sure what do you need? I LOVE him.

I also rode Raphael today which was eventful, another person was in the ring with me and I think she had a little bit of a harsh judgment of me because I was quite firm with Raphael today and we had a few bucking, temper tantrum hissy fits but I rode through it and just kept him going until he was obedient and TRIED, rather than oh you want to go forward well F YOU! Oh you want me to step over F YOU, so I just rode it out until he was reasonable and rideable vs HOW DARE YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO, F OFF. He was being a jerk. I was panting much harder than he was by the end but we made it through. I have sworn off arabs and arab crosses. I'll still ride them but I dont need one. All I want is REASONABILITY. Sensitive okay, tricky and quirky okay but outright belligerent and picking a fight for no reason other than being like a teenager, nope.

But Leo. He's teaching me an awful lot and giving me a lot more confidence. We're both rusty on changes. I don't think he's done them in over a year and I've done a few with Dooley but it's been a while since I've really schooled them. My goal is to take some lessons on Leo once he gets a bit stronger and focus on myself a bit. I LOVE this horse, though he licked my back, neck and cheeks. He's VERY kissy and sweet. 

I also am hoping to do my first show on Frankie end of June. I'll most likely show her intro as she hasn't left the property since she was a baby and I just want her to go no pressure and it be a positive-fun experience for her. I will say she nickered at me a few times today because I didn't pay enough attention to her. I did groom and take her for a walk around the property. So I definitely spent time with her. Lesson tomorrow morning. So excited. I get to start riding in the morning!









Some video


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## frlsgirl

This all sounds very positive. You sound so much better since that awful class ended. Intro B is a good way to introduce horses to showing. It's all pretty easy except many the turn onto the center line but in the lower levels they allow you to make a bigger curve upon entry.


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## PoptartShop

I think you look great!  Thank you for sharing the pictures & videos. It's awesome Leo is teaching you a lot, that's super rewarding & will help you with the others too.
So so glad you are DONE with that class. Breath of fresh air for you and a load off your shoulders. You did it though! :mrgreen: 
Showing with Frankie for the first time will be fun! <3 I'm excited for you! Love the pictures with her too. She looks so happy! 
Dooley also looks so nice all bathed & cleaned up. So big, I bet it took a lot of energy to bathe him LOL. I hope you have a good lesson!!!  Riding in the morning is great. I love that my lessons are in the AM- I don't dread waking up to ride like I do to go to work. :lol: & it's the best way to start the day!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Definitely. I'm very happy to no longer be taking computer science. It is not for me. It's hard and my brain can't wrap around the extreme ambiguity with a strict structure. It just can't wrap itself around it. I can work it through but I hate it. I'm pretty balanced between my left and right brain and I get confused with things that try to blend the two too much. 
___________________

Allison- Thank you! I'm REALLY proud of him and us! He's a joy to ride (for me). Other people describe him as being very behind the leg and unmotivated or sassy/difficult. Or I had to convince someone that Leo actually is a really nice mover because they'd only seen his used in lessons and thought he was really plain and I insisted actually I think he's one of the nicest horses in the barn. A lot of people when they ride him his canter looks really downhill and lateral and his trot just look blah but he has a lot of good movement and it'll improve as he get stronger. He needs to get stronger but I don't know I just love him and am so pleased we get along so well. 

I forgot he also had his check ligament cut on the right or left front. I can't remember but he's a cool guy. I'm really looking forward to be able to take lessons on him, I think I'll learn a lot. He's not strong enough yet. I only get him going for about 5 minutes and then we walk and I pick him up again and we walk. In canter you really have to allow the jump and create the rhythm in your hip and not in a mechanical way but in a supple-allowing and bringing up kind of way (if that makes sense), it's so easy to shut down his movement. I think a lot of riders shut down the movement, rather than letting it go and improve it. Anyways I'm just excited lol. 

But thank you. I'm really grateful for all the education I'm receiving between all the horses and Mari. I feel like I work my @ss off every ride. If Im not shaky when I get off and struggling to catch breath, Im not working hard enough.

But that's great! I hope you got to spend a lot of time with Redz. There is nothing like pony cuddles and riding time!
___________________

Update

I rode Friday and Frankie today. Mari taught me on both and I learned a TON. It was really nice. I worked my butt off riding both. I literally had sweat marks and my legs were weak getting off. My core really felt it. I'm not in bad shape but man babies take a LOT to ride. It's A LOT to organize sometimes. Frankie was pretty spooky today, she spooked once but I kept her focus through the corners so she didn't spook. She felt DEAD to start with but got her going and she woke up. She wasn't motivated but she tried and that's all I can ask from her. She really was great but it took a LOT to ride her. She's a green, awkward baby, so it's not surprising but it took a lot to get basic rhythm, organization and balance. Sometimes I have to sort of plant my inside hand on the inside pommel to help her work out bend then once she gets it consistently give the inside rein, step out and bump her over to the outside while standing in my outside stirrup quite hard because she wants to push me left from her own lack of balance. But WAY better to organize, it took a TON of focus and riding. Position, weight, guiding her shoulder, keeping her reactive and paying attention, just all of it. Friday is opposite he's a bit like riding a banana because he's super flexible so with him I would never use the same techniques as riding Frankie. With him it's more taking the outside rein, soft suppling or lifting of inside rein and bumping him off the inside leg and stepping into the outside rein so he doesnt' dump on his shoulder like he wants to. 

Frankie is also really narrow, so for me it's a little uncomfortable but I'm sure she'll get wider, she didn't use to be so narrow.

Friday worked my butt off too. He was want to be crooked and fall through his shoulders both ways and not come over with his hind, so we did quite a bit with laterals and Mari really getting me ride them even better which I could transfer to Frankie. Can ALWAYS improve in almost everything you currently know, even if you do it well there is always room to improve and I LOVE that. I'm so excited to learn more from Mari.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I forgot to add with showing. I would like to take her to her first show and run through an intro test at a schooling show or maybe talk to Mari about taking her to different barns and taking a lesson and not a recognized show and then next show do the FEI 4yr old test which is roughly the equivalent of 1st one. But I want to do the young horse test because she'd be graded as a 4yr old, rather than expecting her to go through the test like a mature, adult horse. It grades more so off of potential and development. Accuracy and regular grading matters too but it's geared towards young horses that are being developed for FEI. She can do the test but she hasnt left the property since the ISR/Oldenburg inspection when she was less than 6 months old. And for the one show, it'd be easily around 1k to do which is a lot and I don't really want to spend all that to show intro. I want Frankie to get experience but I also dont want to be wasteful with my pocket book. Especially when my funds are limited.

4yr old FEI test
http://inside.fei.org/system/files/YH4_2017.pdf


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## frlsgirl

I don't know if they offer this at schooling shows in MO, but, our schooling shows let you just bring a horse and hang out and you just have to pay an office fee and or stabling fee. You can dress up, ride in the warm up arena and then pack her up and take her home again. You can also do a suitability class, which is super easy. You basically just go into the ring, talk to the judge for a minute, then the judge will have you walk, trot and canter while she writes notes. It's a great way to get the horse into the ring without the pressure of performing.

Lots of people in my Dressage society will always bring an extra horse, usually a young one that just needs to learn about the show environment, so they let it hang out, practice standing tied to the trailer, walk it around the ring during lunch breaks etc. By the time they are ready to actually show that horse, it's already totally prepared mentally to deal with the show environment.


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## Tazzie

I'm so glad all the ponies have been so good! Yay!! I really enjoyed watching the videos and scrolling through the pictures!

Also SO glad you are DONE with that class! You definitely seem much happier now! YAY!

I definitely think going out and doing intro will be a good plan of attack! Oh I can't wait to hear all about it (even though I know it's over a month and a half away haha!)


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## knightrider

Do you know yet if you passed that hard computer class? Fingers crossed for you.


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## PoptartShop

Mari sounds great. I love that too- there's ALWAYS something to improve on/learn. No matter what. 
I'm glad you guys get along too, that's all that matters. Some people just aren't good matches for certain horses! They sure do give you a workout LOL. I love it, they're all so good! :mrgreen:

The best rides are when we work- I agree. It's so rewarding too. Like that's why I love Redz, nobody else can ride him & everyone's like 'don't you ever just wanna relax?' I'm like NO I like riding a difficult horse instead of sitting on a boring push-button la-dee-daaaa horse. I've always been that way...like yes, throw me the challenging ones please! :lol: I'm insane.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- That's a really good idea! I'd really like to do something like that to get Frankie out and about without costing an arm and leg! Horse shows are SO expensive! I may also take her to a jumper barn for a week to get her more exposure because there is SO much more going on there than at my current barn which is really quite quiet and I want her to get that exposure and grow up moments. 
_________

Katie- Me too! Though Raphael has been difficult lol. I'll admit I don't look forward to riding him because he rides basically the way I don't like a horse that rides like. I hate riding something where everything is an argument. He's definitely getting better but I don't like being as strong and firm and leaving no room for negotiation as I have to be. It's just not my natural style. I'm more of a ask, suggest and show type rider vs you're going to do it this way or else, no negotiations, just do it and having to get into him when he protests and MAKE HIM do it. He's gotten better with this approach but yikes. Just not a ride I enjoy. Im also pretty quick to soften and reward him when he tries and just basically responds appropriately. But it's definitely exhausting lol but to be fair when I get off of Frankie or Friday or Dooley I'm puffing and can't feel my legs (it's not from getting them to go but organizing their balance, getting them straight and half halting, balanced, etc) lol. But with Frankie and Friday and Dooley it feels like they want to try and get it, it's not from having to be so firm. The attitude is totally different.

But thank you. I am much happier. I'm probably going to take some summer classes!

I'll probably just get her out to gain some experience for her at intro and then for that show if I do it. I'd like to at least do training or the FEI 4yr old because it'd be a 1000+ for that one show and I can't justify spending all that just to get her out. But thank you. I'm really excited to get her out and expose her different shows and places! It's a start!
_________

knightrider- Thank you for your prayers and concerns! I have passed with a C! Im extremely happy about that! 
_________

Allison- She is. I love taking lessons from her and her broad spectrum of knowledge. I'm constantly learning more about conformation, what to look for in a prospect and riding various horses and ways to think about situations and approaching different struggles. She's great!

I entirely agree. Some riders and some horses just dont fit for whatever reason and some horses and some riders just fit each other well. You cant always say why or why not.

lol I dont know about insane. I think you just enjoy a ride where your attention is kept and you're able to focus with vs tuning out because it's not fun on something that just does it without feeling like you earned it or are learning. Some people don't like working at anything but I think you have to really work at it to improve lol. If you aren't challenged and growing each ride, maybe something is wrong.
_________

Update

I rode Raphael and Leo yesterday. 

At first Leo wasn't super motivated and I was worried he was going back to his old habits of unmotivated and lazy but we kept going, I gave him a few cookies and he quickly got back on the ball. It took a bit to get him to canter left, he was like no I dont want to then he got a lot better about it. We did quite a bit of counter canter and a few changes but the counter canter was to improve his canter and get him stronger and straighter. I love counter canter for improving the quality of the canter. Some trot and I did almost all posting today because I really wanted to stay off his back as much as possible. He was a lot straighter, I pushed him a little but gave him a lot of rewards and good boys and encouragement but got off after he really tried nd gave me his best but wasnt worn out. I want him to keep motivated and feel rewarded for his effort. 

Raphael took everything I had to ride. I've had to be very firm with him, NO negotiations and very direct and exaggerating my expectation to get him to respond so I can get a correct response and not fight with him. It took everything I had. He's getting better and a lot more respectful. But a ways to go before I'd feel comfortable putting someone on him to try. I like Raphael but he is frustrating. Im also very quick to reward and praise him for trying and to soften when he gives but it's not my kind of ride. I feel like I have to channel the German strictness and firmness which he honestly needs because he challenges everything, he's a very dominant sort of personality and honestly a bit of bully, so I have to be that much more persistent to get a response otherwise it will escalate to a dangerous place and become instead of becoming lighter and lighter and more responsive, without firmness, he'd become stronger and more belligerent which is not acceptable.

I also snuggled with Frankie. She kept glaring at me everytime I walked by her stall like MOM PAY ATTENTION TO ME. IM YOUR BABY!! MOM. She nickered at me and I cuddled with her. She was so happy for the attention!


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## frlsgirl

Mares are such attention hogs! Glad you got some cuddle time in with her. That's weird that Leo acted that way; maybe he wasn't feeling well? And Raphael sounds like he was just being Raphael; still testing boundaries, still being a young full of himself gelding.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you Tanja! They really are! Mares have their person and that is THEIR person. Mom is mom forever more and no cuddles are the same as when mom gives them hugs and kisses. 

I think it might have been the heat. I waited until it had cooled down but that day had reached almost 90 for the first time in a long time. 

Alright. I finally got my ecogold pad and I LOVE it. I was skeptical when I finally got it because my mind set was okay let's see if this pad is anything special. I was a little concerned because it was thicker than I expected and wasn't sure how it was going to effect the saddle fit. 

So I tried it first on Raphael because he is the most difficult to please. Again I was skeptical, ready to be disappointed and it all be hype but holy smokes Raphael felt like a TOTALLY different horse. I actually really enjoyed riding him. He was still challenging but I was not panting and dripping after riding him. It was by far the most agreeable he's ever been, even bending wasn't difficult. His trot felt TOTALLY different, a lot more reach, it honestly felt incredible. I couldn't believe it. I was stunned. Raphael bent and used his WHOLE body and it wasn't a fight. He was so much more agreeable and his movement was so different, I couldnt believe it. WOW! I hope it's not a one off but I love my new pad! I gave Raphael so many hugs, I almost cried because it was the first time I really felt like we were a team, working together and he tried for me.

I also rode Leo in the pad and I didn't feel nearly that much of a transformation but I'll say his trot felt a lot more expressive and he felt more forward/motivated. But the difference wasnt as drastic or distinct as with Raphael. I'm very curious how the other horses will respond to it. 

Tomorrow I will try it on Frankie and see how she feels about it. Then Friday and eventually Dooley.

It was also tried on Bailey and he moved quite a bit better but I'm testing it. I like that it's machine washable and I also like that I can buy different pads for it, so if I need to I can get a thinner pad but I don't think I'll need to because it isn't so thick when sat in the saddle. Anyways I'm thrilled that this pad has made the difference so far. I was preparing myself for disappointment but it exceeded them! I was concerned because I didn't like how the saddle sat on the horse's back to start with but riding in it very pleased.

I'm going to be gone for a few days. I'm going on a mini vacation, so I don't know when I'll be on next but I'm getting up early tomorrow to have a lesson on Frankie.


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## Dehda01

No. The memory foam compresses significantly. I just found that in doing so, it made pressure points under my well fitted saddles when it compressed. Because it when from low density to high density for those spots. But if it worked for you that is great.


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## frlsgirl

Glad the pad is working. Have a great vacation!


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## PoptartShop

Glad you like the new pad! Yay!  Sounds like it made such a difference with Raphael, that's so good.
Awwwww, that's awesome, I'd cry too. Like yes, finally we are one!  Glad it is working for you!! And machine washable is always a plus, super easy to clean! 

Yes! I hope you enjoy your mini vacation- you certainly deserve one.  Enjoy yourself!!!!  :mrgreen:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Dehda- thank you. I'm excited that it seems to be working so far. I'm still testing it to make sure it's right. So I'll be using it for a few weeks to make sure it's as good as it seems!
_____________

Tanja- Thank you! It was a blast!
_____________

Allison- It really did! Im hoping to ride Leo and Raphael tonight since I got back early and would love to see my babies! It was a special moment! One I'd been working towards for a while! Cats were SO SO happy to see me. They were happy girls!

And definitely machines washable is always a plus!

Thank you!
_____________

Alright update overload

Vacation was quite good. I'm not a big vacation type of person. I really missed my animals! I'm glad I went but I ended up buying some stuff at outlet malls but to be fair the prices were unbelievable for the quality. But still more money than I wanted to spend which again is why I don't drink, eat out or buy things for myself very often. It makes me feel guilt ridden and awful but oh well. 

I got to go through some caves which was quite nice. I grew up in Oregon going into caves but different types. We'd leap from ledge to ledge and crawl through spaces to get deeper into the cave but it's a neat thing to do.

Alright lesson on Frankie was quite eventful. We started her in the indoor and she was great, so we took her outside and she was WILD. She made me nervous quite a few times. I wasn't sure I was going to stay on. She had a bucking fit which didn't get the whole thing but woo breathe wrong and we were off. She was GREAT! She was reasonable but definitely took a lot to organize and ride. I was exhausted afterwards. She took everything I had but it was well worth it and we had some incredible work! 

Little bit of Frankie's little fit. The footing was great but she was like this feels different, this is different guys OMG I'm scared. She was great and once we got her focused was good but I did get ran off with a few times.









She's weaker and less coordinated left than right, so it took a lot to get her just steer through certain corners as she was quite herd bound and insecure. 














I was sitting because she took SO much to organize, she was running through the outside rein and was very difficult to get to stay on the line.










Some pictures. She's a powerhouse. She definitely is a very athletic young mare and she is strong. In the bridle, not so much but in how much core strength and organization she needs to get it all going the same direction is incredible. I really felt I rode at my very best, I was focused, alert and in the moment. I'm REALLY proud of her! She's a neat girl! She's a lot to ride but AWESOME! I LOVE riding her, especially when she's sharp like this and on edge. Just fun because it was like she really gave her all! I'll say she rode like a thoroughbred with a much more powerful hind end.


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## Tihannah

She looks amazing and you can really see the power in her. Nice job riding out those spooks! I would've been super nervous! Lol. You do a great job with her!


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## frlsgirl

Glad you had a good trip. Frankie looks really good and she's clearly feeling her oats! Hey at least you have forward flowing energy; now you just got to organize it and it look like you did very well with that. With Ana, she can appear to be forward and yet suck back at the same time. It's very frustrating.


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## PoptartShop

That mini vaca was well-needed & well-deserved for you.  It's nice to enjoy yourself!
You do really well with Frankie, I love it!  Great videos!!!


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## Tazzie

Yay for a mini vacation! We all need those once in a while!

And Frankie looks fantastic! You really rode her well, including when she threw her tantrums. She's just so lovely!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- Thank you. She took everything I had but was great! She was a joy to ride though she made me nervous a few times. Half the stuff from the first video of her antics were missed. She was wild but it shows me if she really wanted me off she could. But she brought out the eventer part in me lol which I describe as being self preservation, when she took off, standing up in the stirrups hands steady and stable and close to the pommel, chest up and using upper body and core. 

But thank you. I think we're a well matched pair!
__________________

Tanja- Thank you. I'm really proud of her. She took everything I had to ride but she was a blast to ride. I love riding her when she's like this. I love riding a hot, sharp horse that keeps me on my toes. It makes me ride better. 

Dante could be forward but still suck back as well. It was all core and getting him to sit which is why I used the amount of leg that I did on him. It was never to send him forward but to keep him up and organize the balance back so he'd have to take the contact and laterals. Dante was the master of evasion. I've never ridden anything that was trickier in the contact or body, he was like a worm. When he was green if you sent so much as a vibration down the rein he'd flip his head back at you like you ripped his teeth out. It can definitely be frustrating, so I hear you there. 
__________________

Allison- Thank you! Unfortunately we had a flea infestation when I came home and had to bug bomb the house this morning and takes the animals to the barn to keep them safe and healthy. The kitty girls were NOT happy with this arrangement but everybody got vet supplied revolution flea control on them, so hopefully that will manage the flea infestation. Plus all the washing and laundry :/

But thank you! I'm really proud of the little Miss, she was a handful but she was a blast! I think we're a well matched pair. I think we fit each other well. Though I will say I'm looking forward to when she grows wider because she's a little narrow for me atm and I feel more comfortable on a wide horse. 
__________________

Katie- Thank you  I appreciate it. I'm REALLY proud of us. We're learning and developing together. Still a long road ahead but I'm very proud of her! She's a powerhouse with a monster stride, it takes everything I have to try to contain it. I'm really looking forward to our development together. She's teaching me a lot. 

But again thank you. I'm really proud of her!
___________________

Update

I rode Raphael and Leo last night. Leo I rode lightly because it makes me nervous to ride when nobody is there. So light ride. Raphael I rode while someone was there (I will not get on him without someone on the property). Raphael was good. He definitely feels more free over his back and topline but he took EVERYTHING I had to ride. He just mentally wasn't interested in the work, so I had to work my butt off to keep him forward and reaching for the contact correctly. He was trying every evasion technique he could think of towards the end and had to ride through a temper tantrum. So typical Raphael.

Leo this morning was GREAT!! WOW! He was a blast to ride! SO much power and stride. I had to sort of get after him once but getting after him is not what you think. I hit him with the rein on his neck. YOU CANNOT get after Leo, he will kill you. I mean literally I've seen this horse get scary with riders who thought they could make him do something or could bully him. It escalates quickly and Leo will win. An olympic rider tried that game with Leo and Leo won. That rider was scared to ride him but Leo HATED him. Leo is VERY particular about how he's ridden. And you have to ride him with a ask like your asking a friend for a favor. If you demand, it's all over. I really think it's a mentality thing. I was honestly a little nervous to ride Leo when I was first asked because I've seen how he is with other riders and it's been years since I had ridden him. But for me he's been nothing but wonderful. He's very easy to get crooked but he tries his heart out. I haven't carried a whip on him or used spurs once. When he says no I don't focus on it and I don't pressure him. I just ask and then go to something harder and come back. I don't know how to explain other than I encourage him and I NEVER EVER tell him off or say no. I just always tell him good boy and praise him. He's my friend and hat's honestly how you have to ride him with a great deal of respect and appreciation. He has a great work ethic IMO. Everyone thinks Im nuts when I say it but he will try his heart out if you approach him a certain way and some people just can't ride him and it's not a reflection of skill, way better riders than me cant ride him well but for me he tries. 

We did extended to collected and did a bit of half steps today, I ask for a little steeper half pass and shoulder in. In canter a bit of shallow loops and counter canter. With half steps I'd bring him back as far as he could then sent him into a lengthening when he started to lose activity. Collected work is forward work, so if I do a higher degree of collection and do some lateral work in that I'll break into extended gaits which he honestly enjoys. We did a few passagy trot steps as well. Canter work was quite good but definitely have to do shallow loops and some shoulder in to break up his up down desire to move because when he does that he isn't over his back or entirely through and the loop is just a nice way to bring him over his back and stay supple, then once he's there a slight shoulder fore or in to help keep the engagement and keep him from moving laterally. His canter always hurts my back when we start but once he gets going and we warm up it's a lot better. I do a slow warm up and ride in about a training level frame just doing serpentines. I let him be the amount of forward he wants to be. Just forward enough but kinda let him tick around (not unengaged) but not real forward or big strided. I gradually ask for more and more and throw in quite a few walk breaks warming up with cookie breaks too (it keeps him motivated, he really tried for the cookies). Then as he gets looser and more warmed up it's much easier to ride him straighter in his body. He's a bit pigeon toed and tries to avoid being straight. He's very limber but he's gotten a lot straighter as he's gotten stronger. Just taking time to get him there. Anyways today he felts AMAZING like WOW! This is one of the best feelings I've ever had. Extended trot sitting to half steps and how engaged, through, over his back and collected and up he felt was just amazing. He's teaching me a lot. 

I talked to my friend who is a saddle fitter and she HATES memory foam and was like we need to look at Frankie's saddle. Part of why I wanted the ecogold was because babies are CONSTANTLY changing shape and I can't afford to constantly have the saddle changed and adjusted to fit through all the changes which are CONSTANT. One week she's one way and the next it's different. So she's coming out to look at it in the morning.


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## frlsgirl

Karen Rohlf does the treat breaks too! I tried it with Ana since she's so food motivated but she kept stopping every few steps because she thought a reward was in order. Got to love a horse who holds herself, or in your case himself, in high esteem. "Pardon me, young lady, did you see how awesome I did? That surely deserves a treat, don't you think?"

Totally agreed, some horses can only handle certain kinds of riders. We put Laurie, the silver medalist, on Ana and she had a complete melt down. Totally fried her little brain. Ana doesn't try to kill you but she gets really frazzled which results in piaffing and rearing and then shuts down. Her eyes change; and then all that's left is a shell of a horse. I was always eager for better riders to sit on Ana but I don't do that anymore; it doesn't help her at all.


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## Tazzie

Those sound like good rides! I'm glad they are doing so well for you!

And I'm glad Leo seems to be finding his stride!  sure sounds like you're a good fit for him too! Hopefully he will go to a rider that will ride like you do!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- That doesn't surprise me. Some riders just go too far, thinking it's a matter of making them do it rather than showing them the process. I thinks that's why I SO strongly favor the british style because the system is based on a conversation with the horse and communication between horse and rider and developing systematically and effectively, rather than mechanically or bullying them. 

I've known a few riders with a USDF silver medal who cant ride out of a paper bag unless it's on a horse who is schooled. They can't ride something young, green or with a mind of its own. A lot of riders lack feel or understanding of the horse's themselves and lack empathy in their riding and in their approach with horses. They ride as though they're on a machine and I honestly think that's why so many of those riders lose their horses movement rather than bring it out and develop it. One of my friends who has a very sensitive mare and I discussed how may riders can't ride quirky or sensitive but they can ride made horses but people think they're great riders because they have an award. They just lack feel and understanding. I hate watching people get on a horse for the first time and ride like they're their commander in chief rather than testing the waters and getting a feel for the horse and how it thinks and works through problems. I always go through what I call a "greeting" of running through their basic ABC's (how much it takes to go forward, how much it takes to halt, move side ways, etc) and give them a reassuring hand but I think that same quality is why I don't get along well with bully horses and don't like riding stallions (generally). I can ride them but I don't enjoy it. I'm a mare person, I ride sensitive and intelligent well. But big dumb just do it horses I don't enjoy as well and don't think you can get the same kind of performance from or get that extra quality but they're easier to ride and often make great schoolmasters.

Sorry for a bit of a rant but it frustrates me because I've retrained horses off of riders with their bronze, silver, and gold and it bothers me that they have more qualifications but I'm the one fixing their mess over and over again. Not as much anymore but I did that for awhile, it made me realize what level someone has shown at isn't a sign of skill or know how. A lot of those ones would ruin Frankie and probably get thrown into a wall. She's a good girl but she needs a lot of help with organization and needs someone who can give her confidence and guidance is a kind, reassuring way. She isn't a horse you can tell off or ride like a machine, she will shut down and lose all her vibrance but she'll protect herself as well. I tapped her with the whip once and when I say tap I mean it gently touched her bottom and she lost it and to be honest when she had a temper tantrum about that I thought alright this is my horse. She's also very sensitive to bit aids, she's all in the fingers over flex your fingers too much and she flips her head. 

But I'll also say for that reason, I'm very grateful I took the long, struggling route in riding. I grew up riding OTTBs off the track and up and down mountains, rode eventers and backyard horses. I also rode some reining horses and cutting horses as well. And basically rode what I could. I never had the money for a schoolmaster, my loyalty when I came out to MO was to a rider who didn't have any medal and didn't have a horse showing over 2nd level but she'd schooled through 4th, was BHS certified, had schooled advanced level eventing, she broke her back and doesn't event anymore. But now she's competing in CDIs and showing I1.

But with the treats I don't give it to them every time we stop, only after they do something really well or worked really really hard but a lot of the times I just ride on so they don't develop a habit of thinking stopping equals food and treats. It can be a nasty one to break. Frankie is VERY food motivated too. She is a food hound!
________________

Katie- Thank you. I'm glad too. Raphael takes it all out of me but he helps quite a bit too. 

Me too. He's a good boy and he really has a good spirit. He's just a particular type of horse with a particular mind set and you either get along with him or not. 
__________

Rode Frankie. Didn't ride Raphael, Leo or Friday. But lunged Friday and he was great. 

Frankie is finally bulking up, she's not quite 16.3h but close. She's getting wider so I think when she matures she'll be plenty wide for me lol. She's too narrow atm. I feel more comfortable on a wider horse than a thinner one. But she was really good today. By far the most balanced she's ever been. It took a bit to wake her up because she felt dead tired (hot day) but after she got going she woke up and wasn't so behind my leg. It just took a little bit to get her awake. She wasn't sharp at all, actually quite lethargic but got a lot sharper as the rider went on with her best canter transitions she ever has given! We're asking a little more from her and she's going LOADS better! I'm so glad. She still rides like a baby but definitely a stronger, more educated one.


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## PoptartShop

Oh no about the fleas, ugh! Glad it's over with though. :sad: Stupid fleas!!
So glad you had good rides on Leo & Raphael.  Leo really does sound like such a fun ride. :smile: How'd the saddle look for Frankie? I agree- they do constantly change shapes, & it's cheaper to use the Ecogold! 

Yay! That's awesome she's starting to bulk up.  She is definitely going to fill in more & be a big girl (she's already pretty big! LOL). Right, like Redz has a barrel & it feels nice. But my friend's TB is a lot thinner, he just doesn't feel the same. LOL. I also feel the same way, the wider the better.
So glad she's feeling more balanced & really carrying herself well. Good job!!!! :smile: Also happy to hear Friday did good on the lunge!


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## frlsgirl

Yeah I'm really glad that I have the ability to communicate with sensitive horses. I might not be as skilled from a technical standpoint, like I've never ridden tempis or passage and don't know the technical aids for those things but I have the ability to get along with most horses and help shape how they move. It sounds like you have that gift as well plus you have a lot more experience and technical skill so you have all the ingredients to make an excellent horse trainer.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- I know! I hate fleas! We seem to be in good shape now though. Nothing on the animals! 

Saddle fitting went well. She actually liked the ecogold pad a lot better than any of the other memory foam pads she's seen because it recover a lot more quickly but question how long they'll last. I have 30 days, so we're going to keep trying it. 

And that makes sense. If you have a wider pubic arch, wider generally feels more comfortable. I found out that's why some people prefer a narrow or wide twist and feel comfortable on different types of horses. I think the wider pubic arch is maybe better because you can ride a greater variety comfortably and still keep a soft hip. A small pubic arch on a super wide horse feels like the splits and make relaxation difficult. 

But thank you. I'm glad she's sort of growing up. Definitely a baby but not as baby as she was!
________________

Tanja- Definitely. I genuinely think there is something to anxiety and depression helps make people more empathetic and understanding. There is a perfectionist quality that is sometimes hard to conquer and release but I think with empathy and sensitivity it allows people to ride a greater variety and it's not so common. There are alot of riders and trainers lacking in empathy which to me is what dressage is all about. Being able to understand, communicate, and educate the horse more effectively with more precise aids and awareness. And definitely a gentler seated rider often can allow the back to come up and be more supple than someone who drives, drives and drives and hollows the back out against their seat because they're so heavy and grinding. I put quite a bit of weight in my stirrups so I can sit lighter. Frankie has a meltdown if you land to heavily on her back, so it makes sense to learn to be lighter and lighter and allow them to move and then improve it with organization and training. 

A lot of it comes down to feel and I think a lot of riders get in their own way because they are ambition without empathy. I think empathy and sensitivity is where good riding start from, the rest is education, experience and time but have to start with good character imo. My trainer Pam said in Florida the biggest difference she saw between good riders and great rider of international caliber is the great riders have a real empathy for the horses and aren't just skill and technique but a real understanding and sensitivity for them. 

And thank you. I sometimes think about becoming a trainer at some point but I've gotta a bit to go before I'm there. I'm not ready to give up my amateur status. 
________________

Update

Saddle fitter actually really liked the ecogold pad because it recovers quickly and doesn't stay "squashed" like a typical memory foam type of pad. Her only concern however is how long it'll stay like that. Frankie saddle was reflocked a bit to get it to sit level again, so more wool was taken out in the rear pannels. She's a good girl but she tore apart her front polos in her stall. I put her there for a few minutes to check on something and didn't want to leave her in the cross ties and came back both the polos were torn up and off her legs. She's totally fine but the polos are being stitched up soon. I was a little upset. They were $45 and less than a month old. She can be a handful. She's pretty opinionated.

I lunged Raphael who was quite good, he's definitely moving a lot better. His mechanics and his use of himself has improved a TON. I'm really quite proud. He looked good on the line. Leo was AMAZING. He started out unmotivated and I think a bit stiff and store but after the warm up he was out of this world. His canter and trot felt by far the best it has so far. We did a bit more with half pass and a few spiral circles at canter to really help him develop a better canter. Some counter canter. His collected work was very good. I do not make him work very hard for very long. It's like get the highest degree of collection I can for a few steps and send him out, get the highest degree of collection I can get and send him into a lengthening or extension. Can't lose impulsion. Collected work is forward, not back. Some more on half steps which are getting a bit better but he can't do too many before losing activity then I send him on. I'm hoping to start lessons on him soon and really work on me. I'm learning SO much from Leo and remembering a lot too! It's been a LONG time since I've so consistently worked with a not-baby-greenie horse.

I'm also trying a prolite girth I may buy eventually and it looks like we're getting a schockemohle anatomic bridle which was the plan but not for a while but my friend is going to be selling their product and I told her if she did I'd buy a bridle from her and I don't back out on my word.


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## frlsgirl

Awww Frankie! She says "Get these things off my legs!" Ana likes to mouth things around her as well so I can never leave her unattended for too long. Usually she tries to destroy other people's property which is even more upsetting. 

I had the same experience with saddle fitting; at first the fitter kept having to take wool out of the back because it made the seat un-level. Then the last time she was here she had to put some back in and fine tune. She said that new saddles are generally overstuffed and it likes to settle in the back so it's a pretty common thing.

I like what you said about how sensitive people tend to torture themselves with perfectionism which of course goes hand in hand with anxiety and depression but then there is that other quality to it such being able to communicate well with horses. I've been checking on my friend's horse Jill; she had to go to Canada for a week and she always worries about Jill. Well, last night I checked on her and I got this overwhelming sense of sadness; like that horse is truly sad which made me sad. I think she misses her owner. Whenever my friend pulls up in her truck, Jill nickers and eagerly waits for her by the stall door. Jill is one of those special horses that's difficult to find a good match for; my friend is the perfect fit for her. In comparison, Ana seems like a really happy and "chatty" horse. Her internal conversation is something like this "la, la, la, eating my hay, hay is yummy, oh look, here comes Prince. I like Prince. He's a nice horse" Jill's internal dialogue is more like "This, is the end, my only friend, the end" just so depressing.


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## PoptartShop

Frankie is quite the diva. :lol: LOL, silly girl messing up her polos! :sad: Glad they can get stitched though, they definitely are expensive. Redz has a habit of pooping right onto them. :icon_rolleyes: Like come on now. LOL.
Mischevious little girl! I am glad the fitter liked the pad.

Glad lunging Raphael went well, so happy he's moving better & better.  And Leo too!!  Such good boys! You definitely are learning a lot with these guys, it's awesome!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Pretty much yes! She HATES things on her legs. She's a brat to put polos on. She's not bad but will pick up her legs, cross her legs and do different thing to make wrapping difficult or cause you to have to start over. 

lol some horses are just destructive. Frankie goes after her neighbors stuff too!

Definitely. My saddle fitter friend wanted to look at it because I said I got the ecogold pad and she wanted to see it and test the fit of Frankie's saddle. She was concerned because it should fit perfectly and it fits pretty darn close but needs a little lift in front. But you're right. That's what was going on with my saddle. The wool had settled and compacted and the saddle was over stuffed, so more was taken out. Some wool was added and repacked. Plus Frankie's shape has changed quite a bit! I don't think it's uncommon and with Ana her shape can change from having the month off and being on the EPM meds which affected them.

Poor Jill :-( they definitely all have their personalities and can be really clingy with THEIR person. Especially mares! But that's good Ana has such a good nature to her and positive feeling about herself, it's very helpful and I think a positive horse to be around. I definitely think there is something to having anxiety and depression and being more inclined to be empathetic and understanding. I think we spend so much of our lives basically being miserable and feeling inadequate in every way that when it comes to animals we see them as an ally and friend, not just a thing to promote ourselves on. We want to make them happy the way they make us happy. I also think when people have experienced a lot of pain, they don't want to see anyone else feel the way that they do. I also think it promote a type of sensitivity and awareness we might not have been aware of otherwise. I know I'm SUPER sensitive to people's energy levels and so I try to be mindful of my own for the animal's sake. I think animals pick up on our emotional energy and for lack of a better word aura or overall being that is healthy and genuinely compassionate. 
________________________

Allison- She certainly can be. She's sweet about it though and not particularly demanding. She's just not really aware of herself sometimes and can be pretty dorky. Her mom was like that too but much worse. Gracie had no awareness of those around her. 

lol horses right? And they wonder why we cant have nice things lol.

That she is. She's very mouthy and is into ABSOLUTELY everything. You can't really get after her a whole lot, just correct her. She's sensitive about that and it doesn't show her the right way. She needs to be corrected and shown and put in line sometimes but it's hard to explain. You have to be very patient and emotionally positive with her.

Me too! Im happy the boys are doing as well as they are! 
________________________

Update

I had a lesson on Frankie tonight. I didn't ride as well as I shoulder have. My hip was a little stuck and Frankie was being REALLY difficult about bending and turning left, it's like she was locking herself against me on the left and I'm mad at myself because I had a moment when I was quite unfair to her. I took too much left side rein and was strong trying to get her to bend, rather than bumping her off my leg and exaggerating my position with outside hip forward, outside thigh on, inside thigh open with toe out to bump her off the inside leg. I was so mad at myself and felt so bad. It was a moment and my trainer got onto me for it, it wasn't fair but we settled it and worked it out. There were a few good moments though. But getting her to bend left was a real struggle. She just didn't want to let go in her ribcage and was SO strong against my left hand and tried to lean and throw all her weight down on the forehand, so trying to organize her was tough plus I was having a hard tie in the heat. She coped better than me. I hydrated REALLY well but I was close to passing out at the end of the ride so I only rode Frankie. It took a lot and the heat was making me dizzy.

I think I'm putting too much pressure on myself and consequently her. I'm pretty competitive in nature, I quieted that aspect of myself down for a while but not I have that drive and ambition again but I absolutely wont let it get in the way of keeping Frankie happy and healthy. I just want so much to do a good job with her and for us to succeed together. And I really want to make more of myself and not be ok with mediocre which I'm not proud of but I really want to push myself to be better and ride better. I know I can do it, I just can't let my ambition affect Frankie. She's not ambitious or confident but she very badly wants to please. I was angry at myself for being frustrated with myself after my ride, I didn't take it out on her at all but I still felt guilty because she could sense I was upset and didn't understand. I comforted her but I dont even know why I was so frustrated. It wasnt at her at all but I think she thought it was. She really tried hard! I really want to prove myself and prove my worth and ability. And I'm not proud of it but I want to succeed.

Towards the end I was pretty close to passing out because of the heat. We have good air ventilation and fans but I can't take the heat anymore. I've had heat exhaustion/stroke before because when I was still in the Marines I had to run 5 mi plus do some incredibly ridiculous exercises in 95+ degree weather in high humidity. My whole body was shaking when we were done and went into a kind of shock. It was bad but I can't take the heat very well after that. So I only rode Frankie because I need to be careful in the heat.

I've also decided to send the ecogold pad back which makes me sad because I liked it so much and the horses all seemed to really like it but for the cost I can already tell the memory foam is starting to compress and I've only had it for a weak. It's too much money to gamble on a question of how long it'll last, so I'm back to the drawing board for half pads. I'm thinking about invictus. I have a thinline but Im not happy with it.


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## Tihannah

Like you tell me, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself! It's not easy training babies right?! And you're doing a great job with her! I can really appreciate your honesty though, because I find myself doing the same thing often. It's taken me a year to realize that I need to use more leg and seat than hand! And I still find myself surprised sometimes when I see how effective it is. Plus, we all have our days when things aren't going as planned, right?  

I'm with you on the heat! It's getting mid to upper 80s here and I hate it and am dreading the summer months! Despite living in the deep south for the past 20 some odd years, I still can't stand the heat and humidity and want to move up North somewhere. It makes riding in the summer so difficult.


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## PoptartShop

Aww, don't be so hard on yourself. :sad: I hope your next ride goes better, but being in the heat can definitely be hard. I can't stand it myself, I get dehydrated especially if it's high humidity. I'm sure it was throwing everything off. I can't stand the heat. 
I agree with Tina- it's definitely not easy training young ones, you are doing an amazing job with Frankie.  Never doubt that! Not every ride is perfect, I have my days with Redz sometimes that makes me doubt myself so I can understand how you feel! 


Sorry to hear you have to return the Ecogold pad. Ugh. I hope you find a solution! :sad:


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## Dehda01

I ride babies. They are changing constantly, which is why I ride with a correction pad. I personally love the thinline sheepskin comfort pad(my favorite because of the thinline shims and thinline shock absorbency), mattes or total saddle fit(because it has 6 pockets and free wither for my monster withered horses). 

The correction pads are wonderful to tweak fit between saddle fittings. I prefer real sheeps wool to add bulk and reduce friction. But it only works if it is actually on the horse. Most people wedge it to keep in clean, in which case it just adds bulk and some protection from concussion.. which is... fine...

Thinline is a fantastic material. And truly does not compress. No heat or moisture is trapped. 

I prefer my thinline comfort, but sometimes I need a different correction pad... So then I use that correction with a basic thinline on top of it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- Thank you. I know lol. Sometimes we preach best what we need to learn most. Ive always been pretty hard on myself, I've gotten a lot better about it but I am a perfectionist at heart and I am ambitious. I don't really have high aspirations because I can't afford it and likely never will be able to but I want to be competitive and do well. I've put it off for a long time because I couldn't afford showing and really now I can't afford it either but I am eager to keep learning and gaining experience to get better and better and better. And being in the show ring and having one shot one moment you learn a lot. 

Oh for sure! I don't know how you stand the deep south. I think I'd melt and die lol. Well I lived Georgia for a little while and MO gets pretty hot and humid but fortunately the barn brings the temperature down enough so it's not so awful for the horses. It's very well ventilated plus all the fans in the arena and the barns and tons of openings for cross wind and to get air circulation but it's still miserable in the extreme heat. 
___________

Allison- I hope so too. My rides on the other horses all seemd to go well but I want to figure out why turning left and bending left is so difficult for Frankie :-( our chiropractor is out atm because he had a hip replacement. 

Oh definitely! And what's AWFUL about our weather right now is it is yoyoing really badly. It's in the 60s right now and yesterday it was almost 90 so it makes it really hard to adapt to it. Once it's more consistent I adapt better to the heat but the yoyoing is AWFUL. In the 60s Im trying to keep wintery types clothes atm. 

Definitely it's an unfortunate part of riding. A yoyo of confidence lol. 

But thank you. I hope so too. 
___________

Dehda- I have a thinline trifecta but I haven't been happy with it. Friday for example is probably the most sensitive and he isn't at all happy in the thinline. He pitches a fit about going forward vs even a 1/2in felt wool pad he's much happier and is quite reasonable. But Friday's back changes the most drastically from being in work vs stood still. He really comes up in his back to a drastic degree. Similarly with Leo and Raphael, it's takes more to get them to really come up in their back and engage in the thinline. Similar with the sheepskin pad I have. I'm just not particularly happy with either of them. I'm really bummed the ecogold foam is already compressing but they're far too expensive to justify working for a few months and then needing to be replaced. Leo and Raphael love it and move so much better with it and engage their core and back so much better. 

Frankie's saddle (Frankie is the only horse who uses that saddle besides Dooley when I ride him) because it's too narrow for the boys but it fits her with just a sheepskin and a little front riser but she goes better with the ecogold as well but still on the lookout for something else to try. 
___________

Update

Leo was really good last night too. He's gotten a lot bouncier so I think he's getting a lot stronger and more buoyant in his movement. His canter is definitely getting better. We did some extended canter and back to collected but Leo really wanted to break with collected canter and start doing the up/down movement, so I'd have to send him off and do some counter canter and shallow loop to help keep his core and back engaged and to really get good canter mechanics from him. I think he doesn't the up/down movement because it's easier and he doesn't have to engage his core so much. Same with Raphael. It takes a bit to get them truly reaching into the bridle and coming up without losing their core or mine. Man sitting Leo's trot was something, not quite Dante bouncy but approaching that. 

Raphael ride was short because we were having a bad storm with flashing lightning that was scaring him and I didn't want to create an issue we don't have. But he was really good. Friday was very good nice to ride, he's VERY sensitive and is so aware it makes him really pleasant to ride because he's so quick to react and naturally sharp. 

Where as Frankie is naturally dull but sensitive to position, she's getting sharper and she can definitely be trained sharp but she's not naturally sharp or reactive but she's naturally a lot sharper and more sensitive than her brother. She's not naturally balanced or rhythmical at all but she's growing. She looks taller to me, I may need to stick her again sometime but I think she'll mature over 16.3h, possibly 17+ I don't know. Her brother stopped growing at 16.1 1/2h for a while and sprouted to 16.3h even as a 5yr old. So no idea what she'll mature to and I don't really care but it's important to note when she's growing. We've tried to keep it fairly light this year and will continue for a bit with her growing as much as she is. We work her about 3 times a week 30 min per ride. She's a bit butt high atm so more growing. I get the impression she's going to be pretty tall. She's almost 16.3h but I don't think she's 16.3h yet.

I saw Dante's new mom yesterday because she's showing at arabian regionals and is doing really well. I really liked the horse she was on. He's about 15.1h he's an anglo and I honestly had no idea he was an arabian cross. He doesn't act or look like one at all and has shown on the open circuit. He had a super temperament. I was a little surprised watching the dressage at the arabian shows, some of it I couldn't watch because almost every horse wasn't truly over its back or truly connected at all and some people were pretty rough with their horses and unfair which I had a hard time watching the horses get more and more hollow then be smacked and gotten after and strongly handled in the bridle with see sawing. I can definitely tell how the piaffe has been trained in horses when I see a tense, hollow piaffe with the hind legs coming higher than the front legs, I can tell they were either in hand trained or with a ground rider tapping each leg to get the piaffe (I saw that quite a bit at the German barn I was at), rather than doing it through increasing degrees of collection. Here when we teach half steps and develop passage and piaffe we have an in hand person with a lunge line but they don't touch the horse but the rider asks collect, collect, collect with their body and leg while someone stands behind they do a few steps and are sent forward and brought back and it's not hammered into them but made to be sort of playful if that makes sense? We usually introduce it at 2nd=3rd level It bothers me when I see such a tense passage and piaffe and piroettes. It's not a spin on the back legs, it's the height of collection in canter, not a loss of activity. It should be a 4 beat piroette, keeping the jump and impulsion. A lot of top riders when they school piroettes will school a piroette on a 10m circle, not always a tight pivot to keep the horse on their aid and maintaining that degree of engagement. Collection is not created from pulling on the bridle and bracing on the mouth while smacking the hind end, it originates in training and correct systematic development of collected based on understanding of the aids and making it fun and like a game, not a chore... It's half halt soften with core and body and leg encouraging the horse and lift but Im a fan of the British system and different systems use a different set of methods. 

It stunned me because I really think Dante would have cleaned house because he has SO much more driving impulsion and a really driving hind end. She isn't showing Dante this weekend but she's showing him next month sometime and I'm going to be seeing him next week! I'm SO excited! She said I can ride him and we may trail ride some. I don't know but I'm excited! They're doing 2'6 atm and she said Dante rides like a schoolmaster threw grids and bounces and is showing he'll be a 3ft+ horse. She said he just loves it and he'll watch other horses go threw it and look away like oh I can do it better. Apparently he's quite arrogant and is basically like if as a rider you make a mistakes, he's like hey okay I'll bail you out and make us look good because Im that good lol. 

He's also a ladies man and I guess her mare is 23 and hadn't been in heat for a long time and Dante came around and she was in heat again. He's always picking up new girlfriends lol. I can see that with Dante though, he ALWAYS thought very highly of himself and is VERY opinionated about absolutely everything. I think a big part of why he likes jumping so much better is he gets to make a lot more of his own decisions and doesn't always have to listen, he can gage his own distance and be more independent. She said he's very easy to rate and has excellent cadence.


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## Tazzie

I agree with Tina, don't beat yourself up over it. We've all done things we've regretted later in our rides. But it'll come. Hopefully you can figure out what is going on with Frankie and suppling left. Poor girly.

Sorry about the half pad. That really sucks :sad: I don't have any recommendations though :/

I'm glad Dante is doing so well! He must really love his job! That's terrific! And yeah, Arab shows are just not the place to look for a through horse. When I ride correctly (and not tense from show nerves), Izzie is about the only one who is truly working over her back. It's just all out sad.


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## Dehda01

I would guess the balance of the saddle was off rather than blaming the thinline. I have used it on over 30 horses and have never had it made a horse worse. But you have to make sure the saddle balance is correct and there is no bridging. 

If you then went to a 1/2felt and the horse went better, it would seem that the saddle was too wide and collapsing on the wither otherwise. The shims can't fix huge saddle problems, it can only do small ones. But I have multiple thicknesses in shims with felt and thinline available to help with various fitting problems I sometimes need to tweak.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- Thank you and I really hope so. She has always struggled to the left. Even before we started her and were just getting her used to being lunged. She's physically stronger left but more coordinated right. It's like she tries to lodge her right shoulder and doesn't want to bend through her rib cage and step under. I think it's a coordination thing and she's growing so that may be contributing to it too.

Me too. I LOVED the pad because the horses loved it and were honestly more through, comfortable and more eager to please but I can't justify keeping it with a questionable lifetime. I'm trying a lami cell memory gel pad. I saw one at the arabian show and played with it. It seems pretty good, I'm eager to try it out as it arrived today! And if not I have an idea lol.

Me too! He loves jumping. I really think it's better for him mentally and physically. I think the higher degree of collection was too hard on his stifles and sacroiliac. He just wasn't built to carry himself like that. I think that's a big part of why he could be soo good then so bad and just didn't seem happy. I think it was uncomfortable for him. But I think jumping is a lot easier on him. But definitely. I saw almost no horses that were through. I saw a lot of rider's chasing their horses hind ends around with tight necks but not what I'd call admirable riding.
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Dehda- I'm not blaming the thinline but I am not impressed with the product. I've used them for years on various horses, they're better than nothing under the saddle or sheepskin but I'm not happy with the product. 

The saddle on Friday isn't a perfect fit, he doesn't have his own saddle like Frankie. But it's a close fit, Friday likes a saddle being a bit lifted off of his back. Friday is very particular and very sensitive, it's one of his best attributes. He's opinionated but reasonable.
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Update

I rode Leo last night and it was AMAZING. I rode him in the ecogold and could instantly feel the difference. I'm not keeping the ecogold but even in the walk in the warm up he was already much more over his back and his movement more rhythmical and even. We did half pass both directions at trot and canter, much steeper than before. We did a change which was much better. The collected work is the best it's been, we even did a half piroette. He maintained a really nice piroette canter with plenty of jump and a good rhythm. No up/down feeling or hoppy like feeling. Into some lovely extensions. They were really WOW!! I sat it quite well but wow there was a lot of power in it. Thank God Dante was as bouncy as he was. Definitely taught me to sit trot. He was also the straightest he's ever been in the extended canter, it's not as straight as it could be but he's still gaining strength and Im still learning to manage and organize him through it so he can be straight. He's a really good boy though, tried really hard, really listened, super agreeable. I just love him. He literally feels like an extension of my body. The half steps are improving, he's not strong enough to carry them so we do a few steps and move on and come back and extend. I also cleaned his sheathe. I don't think it's been done in over a year (he was itching his tail and acting like he needed it done, the reason it's been so long is because he'll try to kick your face in). But I tried and he let me, so I cleaned it. The bean was the biggest Ive ever removed from any horse. Poor guy. He seemed a lot more comfortable afterwards though and he stopped trying to rub his butt on things. But after the ride Leo was stretched, massaged and hand walked with plenty of hugs, kisses and treats. I think he loves all the pampering.

But all the attention Leo got did upset Frankie. She reached out and bit me when I walked by. I was stunned, she's never nipped at me or glared at me with pinned ears before but she did NOT like sharing me with Leo. I gave her TONS of attention and love afterwards, then she was happy. 

I also rode Raphael in the ecogold pad with spurs which was good. Ralphie was a little surprised by how he had to use his body. He went SO much better and was SO much more respectful under saddle. It was like he woke up and understood. He rode like a big horse. Except for one explosive buck into the first canter he was awesome. All his gaits felt better than they had ever been before. I was very impressed. I felt like i could confidently take him into a 1st level test. His laterals were good, he respected my position, rather than bullying into my leg and me having to remind him to be respectful. He just responded and got it that it wasn't negotiable and he had to carry himself and listen. I'm so proud of him, he rode like a big horse and was definitely the most through and up over his back he's ever been. I was REALLY proud of him. 

Frankie isn't a typical mare but Raphael tried to nuzzle her so she tried to play with him and Raphael came to me for protection lol. Like ma look out for me she's mean lol. It cracked me up. Frankie is pretty chill with the geldings but as long as they're respectful, the only time Ive seen her act marish is if they try to take it to the next level. 

Leo has taught me an awful lot and I'm so happy we get along so well. We're a good team. I really want to take a few lessons on Leo and really improve myself but my money really needs to focus on Frankie but I really want to take lessons on Leo too. It gave me a lot of confidence and faith in myself, after our ride I was like yeah. My trainers are right it wouldn't take much to get me riding 4th or PSG. Leo has shown 3rd, schooled 4th. I'm very thankful. Im very thankful to my trainers and the horses who have made me the rider I am today. I have a lot to learn and there is a long way to go but I'm eager to face the challenge and keep improving and keep learning. I want to ride GP someday. Right now my aim for Frankie is PSG and then when/if we come to that point then we'll extend the goal to GP.


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## frlsgirl

Glad you're having so much fun with Leo; but eeeeekkkk - glad I have a mare; maintenance is a lot less intrusive. I just use baby wipes to keep her clean and if I'm lucky, once a year or so, I manage to wrestle her into the wash stall for an actual proper bath.

I love my thinline and can definitely see a difference in Ana. Sorry you are having to return the ecogold but I understand. It's too much money for something that's already breaking down.


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## Dehda01

I only think other product I can think of I would consider for shock absorption would be a supracor (too thick for my English saddles) or Toklat matrix(which have some nice options). But for thinness and shock absorption, multiple Chiro's and some of the best lameness vets on the east coast agree that thinlines really are a fantastic product. 

But if you don't like them, that is up to you. I like the science. But that is my job as a vet tech

Mattes and Christ has a better quality sheepskin, but I am not going to get up in arms over it.


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## Tazzie

I'm sure glad your rides are going so well on Leo! And oh my about the bean! Poor guy! Izzie practically lifts her leg begging for us to scrub her, so I'm VERY thankful my maintenance is super easy :lol: funny how horses can work so much better for one person over another. And I'm glad Leo is showing you that you ARE a good rider! Always wonderful!

I hope this new pad works well for you! I think you should go with what you would like, not what others may think you should use. You're the one riding the horses, not them. So stick with what you think is going to work for you and these particular horses.


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## PoptartShop

Glad you had some good rides!  & it sounds like Dante is doing fantastic. That's great to hear!  Such a great horse! It'll be fun when you get to ride him again & do some trails. You need that! Leo is also teaching you a lot which is great. Keep up the good work! & glad you got that cleaning done with Leo- it can be a PITA! LOL. Sure he feels a lot better now. Awww, I'm sure Frankie did get jealous. Silly girl! She loves you so much! Happy to hear Raphael was very responsive & did well too.  
Let us know how the new pad works. Fingers crossed it'll be the ONE!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I really don't mind sheath cleaning. It's not my favorite thing to do but it's not awful, just basic maintenance. Frankie is actually a little higher maintenance imo because she gets nasty black buildup in the folds of her parts. I don't clean her all the time but it's more often than the geldings.

It really is too much to justify keeping it. I don't hate thinline, it helps with stability and keeping a saddle level by providing a stable surface. I'm just not a fan because they don't offer much shock absorption.
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Dehda- I didn't say thinline is a bad product. It's good for providing a flatter surface to lay a saddle on and provide some stability and aid in minor saddle fit issues but the science for shock absorption is minimal.
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Katie- Thank you. I am too. He's teaching me a lot and making me ride quite a lot better because he is really quite sensitive and powerful. He's a good horse. And yeah. That was how I felt when I started taking the bean out. It was the size of my forefinger altogether. I felt so bad for him. That can't be comfortable! But I do feel a little special that we get along so well lol.

And thank you. That's how I'm approaching it. They'll tell me what they like or don't like. I'm lucky they're fairly opinionated!
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Allison- Thank you and I think so. I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing him. I really miss that arrogant little horse! 

I'm very thankful for everyone. Frankie is pretty possessive lol. She came in with mud up to her belly. It was so thick I was like FRANKIE WHAT DID YOU DO! When I saw her and had to get all the mud off. She was SO mad at me for removing the mud but can't let mud sit on her skin. Frankie hates to be clean. She hates grooming, bathing and pampering. 

Unfortunately the pad was a bust. We all hated it. 
_____________

Alright we all HATE the lami cell. It hurt my back so badly I was in pain when I came home. I have degenerative disk in my lower back and Leo and Raphael didn't like it at all. Leo felt like he was protecting his back and was impossible to ride straight and Raphael just wasn't happy with it. I couldn't believe the pain in my lower and upper back. My upper back is still sore. 

What we're trying next is a sheepskin with a prolite pad. Leo and Raphael LOVE the ecogold pad. They're so much happier with it and move so much better and freer over their back and come up so much more readily in their core and back. My back is still kinked from the lami cell and I can't see the chiropractor until Thursday. So I'm debating whether or not to ride today because I'm crooked and I'm hurting quite a bit. It's not being a wuss, I don't want to aggravate my degenerative disks or make them worse.

Leo I had a light ride on. He was super difficult to get straight and I found myself contorting to try to get it We did some haunches in and travers. I think he was really trying to protect his back against the pad. It seemed to just create all over pressure.

Raphael we worked on mostly laterals which REALLY helped his understanding of the aids. We worked on some haunches in, travers, leg yield and shoulder in. He was really very good and seemed to enjoy the work. He likes mental work. His expression was much softer after our ride.

I also had a lesson on Frankie and we did the hardest exercise Ive ever ridden it was a spiral circle like on the back of a notebook from C and ending at A. It was REALLY hard going left on Frankie. Right was much easier but left was the hardest thing I've ever done and a big part of it is her body keeps trying to contort my body out of position from keeping her bent left. So I kept having to remind myself to get my outside hip and leg forward to guide her shoulder and keep her fairly straight. Hardest exercise ever. She was really good though. She really tried and had a good attitude about it all.

For pads we're trying a sheepskin and prolite pad to see how everyone likes that. My saddle fitter HATED the lami cell and we all did too. She recommended I try the sheepskin with a prolite pad. If the prolite works I may end up buying one because I have the sheepskin pad and am removing the rear bumper thing they put on them which is awful for saddle fit.


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## Tazzie

Yikes!! That's quite the bean! Poor guy!

I guess that is the good thing about opinionated horses. They let you know REAL fast! We tried a CoolMax pad on Izzie once. ONCE. She dropped her back and said "NOPE!" I took it right off and continued with our ride. Nice when they tell you! Better to have them "say" something than to just keep riding in it.

Shame the lami cell didn't work. Bummer :/ hopefully the new idea works though! Need to make those boys comfy!

But it sounds like overall successful rides! Yay! And yay for the lesson with Frankie! That exercise sounds intriguing. I think I need to try that one!


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## PoptartShop

Oh no! I'm sorry the Lami Cell didn't workout for you. :sad: Can't have back pain! No good! I have a protrusion in my disks so I know how you feel, it sucks! Have to be super careful. 
I really hope the next pad works better for everyone, you and the horses! I think if you take a break today it'd be good, you don't want to hurt your back even more. Trust me I totally get it! :sad: I am not seeing the Chiro until Friday (I was feeling lazy Monday & rescheduled) & my back is definitely feeling rough today so I gotta take it easy myself.

Sounds like some awesome rides! Yay!  Fingers crossed about the pads. I hope they work!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- For sure they tell you what works and what doesn't! I like it when they communicate so clearly. lol that's funny with Izzie. They all have their quirks of what they like and don't like.

Definitely. It was awful. We all hated it! It hurt my back and made me sit funny, so I can only imagine how it felt for them.

It's a really difficult exercise but a good one. Really tests the aids and trying to make each circles approximately the same size as you move along is really tricky. It takes a TON of focus, especially on a baby with questionable steering!
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Allison- Yikes definitely! Have to take care of your back when you have problems. Hopefully you get to see the chiropractor soon!

But thank you. I'm pretty happy with the boys and Raphael, Leo and Frankie like the sheepskin with the prolite but not Friday, he's only happy with the felt!
______________

Update

I rode Raphael, Leo and Friday yesterday.

Raphael was fabulous!! He really enjoys all the lateral work! It's totally changed his attitude and way of carrying himself. His canter has gotten a lot smooth and more rhythmical, he's MUCH more aware of his own body and really understand what certain aids mean now and really connecting. We're doing more haunches fore and haunches out which is really helped him with steadily increasing angle. I don't think he's quite able to do a true 3-4 track haunches in but he's working it out. It's totally transformed his canter and best of all NO bucking all ride! He's really coming from behind and through his entire back, really lifting up in his core and lifting in front. I'm so excited. He's really coming along!

Leo was also fabulous!! He is getting so much stronger and he gets so excited to work! It's really awesome! He tries so hard and just gives-gives-gives. We did a bit steeper lateral work and did quite a bit of collected work which I didnt make him maintain for too long and let him out to a medium which he enjoyed. It was just fun. He's so eager to please and is a show off. There was another horse in the arena and you could feel him really come behind and lift in his chest because he had to out do the other horse lol. It cracked me up, I've never seen him like that before. He's really taking pride in himself where as the Leo I knew or saw didn't seem to care about it at all but he definitely has presence and pride in himself which makes me happy. So many hugs and kisses. 

Rode Friday for maybe 10 min because he wasn't happy with the pads I tried, so I'm putting the wool felt pad back on because that's what he likes and I can't keep the ecogold.

Today I am planning to ride Raphael, Leo, Friday, and Frankie then tomorrow I should be seeing Dante and actually get to ride Dante again! I'm SO excited!! 

Not too much of an update


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## PoptartShop

Yes yes yes! So glad they were all so good for you!  Raphael sounds like he is coming along so nicely. So glad he did not buck and his canter is much more smooth. That's great. :smile: Leo definitely sounds like he's super eager to please! Awww, such a good boy, LOL he's getting cocky huh. :lol: He should have pride, he sounds great!!! Aw, poor Friday! Those darn pads. :sad:

I hope you have some good rides on them tonight!  I'm SO excited for you to ride Dante again. That'll be so awesome. Definitely let us know how he is!!!!


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## Tazzie

Sounds like overall successful rides!! Sorry Friday is still unhappy though :/ is there maybe a cheaper alternative that could work for now? At least make him comfortable until he was sold? Darn half Arabs and being so finicky :lol: but so glad the others gave you some awesome rides! They sound so wonderful!

And yay for Dante!! I expect a blast of pictures and/or video!! (And I promise to reply to our FB message tomorrow.... that's my hope at least unless I'm actually on the computer tonight!)


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Thank you! I'm really proud of everyone and how much they're improving and gaining in their understanding. And how much Leo is really teaching me and how much he's coming out more and more. I'm so proud he's taking pride in himself, I wouldn't consider him cocky but proud of himself and his work and how nice of a horse he really is. And Friday is happy with felt so I think that's just how we'll ride him.

Unfortunately only got to ride Leo and Frankie that night but they were really good!! Raphael threw a shoe and ran out of time for Friday.
__________________

Katie- They really were. I'm really proud of them! And Friday likes the felt pad, so I think we'll just keep using that

It's all good. My FB messenger is acting really funny on my computer and wont let me access it, so hopefully I can respond sometime soon or figure out what's up with it!
__________________

I am absolutely EXHAUSTED! I don't know if I'll even go out to the barn today. I'm just exhausted. It was 3hrs drive each way, so a total of 6hrs. I get along really well with Dante's mom, we can talk for HOURS. She's a really neat person. And got to visit her property and see all her arabs/half arabs that are retired lol. They don't sell anything and then Dante is boarded for an arena. 

But I had a GREAT time!! I rode Dante. It took a while to get him there. The best part of the ride when he was really through and got it wasn't on video because his mom was riding another horse but the saddle didn't particularly fit him. His mom is working on getting a new saddle. They're really expensive so I understand but I was amazed by how well behaved and good Dante was for letting me ride in a saddle that didn't really fit him and bounced on his back behind which is why I sat and he was really spooky and kind of tense to start with. I didn't feel safe sitting and in a saddle that bounces behind in sitting trot it bounces a lot less on their back. It was also a wintec and in posting made a HORRIBLE sound that drove Dante and I NUTS. 

I wish his canter had been on video OMG his canter is a WOW canter. He had SO much lift in front and so much power behind. I asked for collected canter and he definitely knew what I was asking for but didn't have the strength. We did a bit of shoulder in, haunches in, haunches out, a bit of half pass which in the video isn't as good as it became (fairly early on). He really had some great half pass steps that unfortunately didn't get videoed but oh well. I also think when he has a saddle that really fits him he'll move totally differently because he really has grown up a lot and riding him again and how sensitive he is and aware he is made me remember how much he really taught me. Dante really taught me about how to use spurs because if I accidentally got him with my spur he would blow up. He is still quite bouncy, if he was stronger and had a saddle that fit I think he'd be even bouncier because the better he went the bouncier he became. 

I wish I could have gotten off his back more but he was less happy when I posted in the saddle and I gave a lot to try to encourage him to take the contact out. 

fast forward to 55 to see the half pass on video. It really got LOADS better later on but I was so impressed he remembered how to do a lot of this stuff. His haunches in were FANTASTIC. We did some shortening to lengthen but that's not as much in this video unfortunately. His movement honestly got better and better as he went and he just tried and tried and had a few tantrums but snapped out of it pretty quickly. Im really proud of how well he did considering the saddle bounces behind (old Dante would have thrown me off) and how long it's been since he's done dressage work. He's been doing mostly huntery stuff. She had a different saddle she was using for him but unfortunately he recently became too wide for it, so she's going to have a saddle fitter fit him. She's been saving, they're so expensive. 

You CANT just make them take contact, you've got to be there and supportive, riding their body and encourage them to reach for it which is hard for him. I really wish the later part of the ride was taped but maybe next time! He got SO much more swing in his body and he came a lot more over his back but lol he just got better and better as he went and towards the end when I'd pick him up you could really feel him sit behind and lift up through his shoulders and did need so much help to lift up. He just remembered. I'd just position for everything and he was like yep I remember! I got this!





He became more through and took the contact more and more as the ride went but he REALLY tried and gave me EVERYTHING he could. He really wanted to do his best! And his mom really rode him well. I was impressed and saw some pictures from when she used to do some dressage and she really did a nice job. She was a national arabian champion in hunter-jumper. 

His mom and him are also a really lovely team and she got back on him and had some really nice work with him. I probably wont show the videos because I see those as her videos and don't feel right posting someone else's videos.


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## Dehda01

I will let it be after this.. but I have some aspy tendencies too so like to clarify... I have been out on multiple (think hundred if not thousands) of vet calls with thermal mapping that have shown drastic improvements with thinline pads. I am not sure why you feel that there isn't scientific backing behind it. I think the absorption behind dropping eggs and bowling balls on it vs other pads are pretty impressive and also show how it absorbs shock quite well and in ways that memory foam simply can't. 

I have played the games with eggs, bowling balls, thermal imaging, mapping pads and while you really need a saddle that FITS in he end... correction pads and a thinline can make up for "some" problems- be it minor tweaks in fit... not a narrow saddle, but a slightly too wide one, fixing slightly lumpy flockig, minor rider errors. I wish I was a rep for them, it is a great product.


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## Tihannah

Awweee...that's awesome you got to visit and ride Dante again! He looks happy and so glad you found a good fit for him! He definitely looks like he's eating good over there! Lol.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- thank you. I'm really glad I got to visit him and spend time with him and know he's in a good home and being well cared for and loved. His owner is a really capable rider. I mean she was a national champion over fences, so I'm really glad he's in such a good situation. 

And yes he is VERY fat and out of shape lol. He had winter off and got really fat, so he's on a diet lol. 
___________________

Update

I rested all yesterday. I was EXHAUSTED the long drive and day and socialization, even when I have a a great time takes a lot out of me. Most of the time I feel like I'm pretty normal but then I have times when I'm not comfortable and my aspergers is pretty obvious.

I rode Leo who was AMAZING!! He's getting SO much stronger and more powerful. His trot was amazing today and the collected canter was really good. Laterals were good but the trot was incredible. My legs were shaking when I got off of him. It took a lot but he's amazing and so motivated! He's pretty proud of himself 

Had a lesson on Frankie this morning and she was SUPER. She was very confident, forward and coming out in herself more and more. And was pretty much a go getter today, Im really proud of her! It's also her birthday today! She's officially 4 years old!

Some of my favorite goofy pictures with her


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## Tihannah

Happy Birthday Frankie!! She really looks fantastic! Love the first pic with the canter! I also love how playful she is. It's too cute! What a great pair you guys are!


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## Tazzie

I'm so glad your trip to see Dante went well! He definitely looks like he's enjoyed his winter off! A diet is probably a good call :lol:

Happy Belated Birthday to Frankie too! I'm glad the lesson went so well too  and that Leo was so good too  sounds like a successful weekend of riding


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- Thank you. I think we're a really good fit. She's such a goof ball, she's just special lol and she says thank you for the birthday wishes. I think she had a good day.
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Katie- Yes Dante is super fat and is gradually losing weight lol. Poor Dante, he'll lose it though.

Thank you. Yes it was pretty successful, I'm pretty proud of Miss Frankie. We were shown how picky she is about saddle fit and pads. She just wants the prolite with front shims. That makes her happy with the fleece not happy, with the prolite and fleece, really not happy.
_____________

Update

Not much. I spent most of the day with my family and got a new phone to get out of my contract with Verizon. Switched over to Sprint. Verizon is crazy expensive to cut down cost. 

Got into a slight argument with my parents because I told them I don't want to get married. I'm pretty private about some of my life experiences and told them Im happier single and by myself with my pets and horses. I don't need someone in my life to feel fulfilled. Besides that the most miserable I've ever been has been in relationships and the happiest have been single. If I ever get married, it's for dual income. I don't want to be in that vulnerable of a spot again. It hurts WAY WAY WAY too much and isn't worth it, the highs are NOT worth the pain. I am autistic, I do not react to intense emotions like that well and I let VERY VERY few people into my life, so when I do and they repeatedly betray me, take advantage of me and systematically manipulate and use me I just can't. Relationships give me terrible anxiety because every time I've ever tried and actually liked someone or been in a relationship every single one of my deepest fears have been validated and often worse than I could have possibly imagined, so the trust issues are deep. It gives me horrible anxiety I can't cope with when I get that funny feeling and it makes me less of a person because I become so riddled with self doubt, insecurity and fear it's flat out unhealthy and miserable. I dont take my issues out on the guys because I try to keep it inside and hide my vulnerabilities/insecurities because letting my guard down terrifies me. I'm just not happy in relationships and I have no interest in "just for fun" because it's not fun for me at all. My experiences have changed me and I don't want what I once did, which doesn't make me unhappy or bitter. It made me stronger and to realize what I really want from life and to realize I am the rule and never the exception. And I know if I ever actually really liked someone, the moment I let my guard down it's going to be painful. I can't feel confident in someone or trust in that way. And I know if I ever let someone in we could be married 10-20yrs and I'd always fear the day he'd wake up and say I don't love you anymore, good bye. I think I'd lose my mind if I had to deal with all the mind games and manipulation again. I literally can't cope with it happening again. I also couldn't cope with being forced into something I don't want to do again, that was one of the most defining moments of my life. I still can't watch moments like that on TV, it makes me relive the entire experience. 

It also aggravates me when people treat me like something is wrong with me because I'm single and don't listen when I say that ISNT what I want. Then people say you're so beautiful, you could have any man you want or how can you be single? Etc. And yeah once upon a time I was vain and have been approached for modeling a few times but I'm not that person anymore. I was very insecure that way and struggled with bulimia for a few years. I don't want to do that again. I can't sing anymore because of it and my throat sometimes closes on me and makes me choke because I did that. Not again.

They also rubbed me the wrong way talking about mental health and trying to say that I'm the source of my problems and that it's all in my head and the only reason I was diagnosed with what I was is because I told them I thought that's what I had which is ABSOLUTELY FALSE. To me it's the same as going up to a cancer patient and saying you don't really have cancer, you did it to yourself. The only reason you have cancer is because you thought you had cancer and so the doctors said okay yeah you do. Absolutely not true at all, it doesn't work like that. I did not tell the Dr's what I thought for one and if I had they would have been more objective if anything else. Anyways that infuriated me. I'm hot blooded. For the most part I'm pretty calm but I have some touch buttons that set me off and I am without a doubt a hot blooded German-Russian woman. 

Loved my animals who didn't want cuddle time.

Raphael also has stitches on his face from bashing his head on something. I was not amused but he should be back in no time. 

Then tomorrow I'll hopefully be riding at least Frankie and Leo and maybe Friday.

Now I don't like wearing much makeup and I don't like making myself up or dressing up and I don't care what people think. Well I do but I don't. I dont' put so much emphasis on appearances as I once did. I wasnt happy and I didn't judge other people the way I judged myself but it wasn't a happy existence.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I probably shouldn't have posted all that but sometimes it feels good to get things off your chest. I'm not good with emotion. Heck I'm not really good at being a "normal" person. I have emotions and I genuinely care a great deal about others and animals but social stuff it takes a lot out of me to think, process, and understand the situation. I have to be consciously aware of watching other people's gestures, mannerisms, tone, and being mindful of my own and thoughts because I have to evaluate it all in order to process and understand what's being said and what it means. I'm often not aware of social expectations or unwritten social rules and get really confused when people get mad at me for things I don't understand why they're mad at me for. I'm kinda a low maintenance friend and when people need CONSTANT talking back and forth to show friendship, I get really confused because I can never tell if I'm supposed to talk to people or if they want to talk to me or not or what I'm supposed to do with that stuff. I generally just dont talk to people because it feels incredibly awkward and I feel unwanted and it stresses me out. Then the what do you even say to someone? I'm TERRIBLE at small talk, it makes no sense to me.

I did celebrate and honor memorial day. I am a veteran, I know what friends have sacrificed and can tell some stories but I generally don't like talking about that. It's not for lack of appreciation, there's a deep appreciation but I feel it's more so something in private than something you broadcast. Kind of like spirituality or religion, if you genuinely feel it you don't flaunt it.

But been thinking a lot about how when people see riders they don't think about where they came from or how they grew up. For example yes I ride dressage and some people equate that to being a snob with no experience outside of the ring. They never seem to understand that being a good horsemen has a lot of parts to it. People also don't realize your awareness as a horseman. Or seem to think "english" riders aren't good horsemen. Not true. We just dont spend our entire time on the ground, we establish it quickly and keep it in check without doing it for hours and hours confusing the horses and trying to promote ourselves as "know it alls." Though I'll say I think the skill of good horsemanship has really gone down because many people hand their horses off to grooms or professional handlers to fix all the problems they've created unknowingly. The importance of experience and education from more experienced people with good experience is the awareness they bring to details you wouldn't have known otherwise and books cannot take the place of experience of hands on learning. It's like claiming to be a pilot without flying a plane or having a good coach.

I grew up riding OTTBs, qhs, western horses, trail horses and really whatever I could. I rode mostly eventing, on trails, up and down mountains, on the beach, etc. Where I grew up there were 300 acres and miles of trail around. I actually found dressage frustrating and boring, a necessary evil that allowed you to get to the fun stuff. I ended up focusing on dressage so that I could do well and win classes. Dressage was my weakest skill, so I focused on it with plans of going back into eventing and I never did. I ended up enjoying more than eventing. I used to jump 3'3 -3'6 on my old eventer and I was very confident over fences. Now it's not my thing. For years I used to cry myself to sleep at night because of riding and several times I wanted to quit because I felt like I sucked and only hurt the horses. I worked 70+hr weeks, sometimes 13 or 14hrs a day without even a 5min break or lunch so that I could afford to keep my horse and take lessons. I did alot of rehab and retraining horses from bad situations, worked with a vet to form programs and adjust to bring horses back. Rode horses FEI riders in my area psychologically damaged which is very tricky and sometimes you can help them but there will always be residual issues to work through. I rode some VERY difficult horses, worked with stallions, helped raise babies and I learned an awful lot. Been humbled while at the same time been made more confident and appreciative. And I guess it really drives me crazy when there are people in my area who feel they have nothing more to learn and they know more than they actually know. It just irritates me when people ride with all ego and could care less about their horses, they treat them as though they're an extension and expression of their success and dont care what they put their horses through. Frankie's mom was ridden in a double as a 4yr old and has spur callouses the size of my palms on her sides. She was so psychologically damaged, she was known as a psycho mare in our area. She wasnt. She was a VERY sweet mare who was psychologically tortured by a rider who will go on and on about how much she loves her horses and her trainer people will say how good a person she is but you can't be a good person and do that too a horse. Even when i knew nothing did things I deeply regret. I never left blood on a horses mouth or sides and I never used my leg or spur enough to give them callouses that thick or that big. I guess it really bothers me when people try to promote themselves as very kind or altruistic or loving and yet do things that so strongly contradict that. Actions speak louder than words and I think it's sad anymore it seems people think words mean more than actions. 

The thing is you can never tell what someone has done or been through just looking at them and I think it's easy to take anyone for granted. I know I have or been under appreciative because I didn't know or understand what I didn't understand or saw what I didn't understand and made unfair calls or judgments and I guess it's okay because we're all human and make mistakes but it's equally important to own up to those mistakes and acknowledge the errors we make. We're all just a bunch of random specks in a big world, a giant universe and an even more enormous scope of reality. We're so insignificant and yet it matters lol. Sorry to be irritating and ranting today but it's been on my mind.


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## PoptartShop

Awww!!!! Dante looks great!  I am so glad he is doing well, & that he had such a good canter! :smile: So glad you got to see him. It makes me happy that he's also in a happy place! LOL he definitely is eating good. :lol:

Happy belated birthday to miss Frankie! She looks so good! Aww, I love the cuddly pictures with your pets & you are so darn pretty! 

I totally see where you're coming from. I also suffer from anxiety & dating really caused it, I believe for me at least. My biggest fears have always happened & it makes me also not want to date at all. I HATE when people say 'you're beautiful, you can get whoever you want'. UH NO. To be honest, most guys only want one thing & don't even take me seriously, it's sad. I do have a lot to offer, but haven't met anyone who's worth my time so why waste it on dating for 'fun'? Like, no thanks! LOL exactly. Pets are seriously the best & they don't give you anxiety or make you feel like crap. Like, cuddling with my dang guinea pigs makes me happy! I love sleeping alone too much to imagine myself sleeping next to someone...being single for 7 years does that to a person. :lol: 

I had lunch with one of my college friends the other day- she was like 'YOU'RE NOT TALKING TO ANYONE? WHY? COME ON ALLISON, YOU NEED TO!' Like...uh...no??? I don't? Nobody I'm interested in. Not gonna talk to someone just to settle & have someone...like some of us are actually HAPPY being single. :icon_rolleyes: We really do have such a stigma don't we? LOL.

& that's good, Verizon is definitely expensive. Ugh. I am on my parent's Verizon plan still but I know soon enough I'll have to get on my own lol.

Sorry to hijack but I feel like we totally think the same way when it comes to dating! And it's not your parent's place to say anything if you don't want to get married. That is up to you. Like, they need to understand you wouldn't be happy if you were in a relationship- and being alone does not mean lonely. I hate when people think that way. 'Oh you must be so lonely' NO ACTUALLY I AM NOT! LOL.

You can vent anytime!  

Yeah, people do definitely say a lot about us English riders. And not all of us are snobs either, exactly! Ugh. 

I hope you have good rides!!! <3


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Thank you. I was impressed by how hard he tried, despite being as out of shape as he was. Lots of walk breaks. It took a bit to get him in gear and when he finally clicked in it wasnt taped but he was pretty stellar considering how long it's been since he's done any of that stuff and the saddle not really fitting. If/when I go up again, I'll probably bring a bareback pad. 

But thank you  Frankie and I say thank you.

And exactly! Many of the guys in our generation do not treat women with respect. We're just expendable, something to be manipulated, used and caught. They don't care how many games they have to play or how long it all has to go on for. They'll say whatever for however long until they're done with you. 

I also agree it's ridiculous when people think physical attractiveness matters to the extent that it does. It doesn't matter anywhere near as much as people think. When guys are really serious about it, beauty doesn't matter as much as people think. It's really secondary and not a priority. I think people WAY over prioritize appearances and play it up to a ridiculous amount of importance that is so artificial and fake. I think sometimes guys see a girl, they like how she looks and they make it a mission to win her over and see how long they can play her. You're a conquest verses a person to them. And dating in this generation is just weird. There arent really clubs or organizations or get together type places anymore. It's become a hook up culture and I'm not interested in that at all. Friendship and companionship with excellent conversation but people don't seem to know how to do that. Just use, lie and manipulate. They don't even know who they are or what they value. It's sad. I cant' connect to hardly anyone.

And exactly it gets really irritating when people think you HAVE to be in a relationship or seeking to be happy, as though they can't imagine not wanting that or it not being a priority in your life. As in when you say I'm not looking and I'm happy they can't believe that's true and cant accept it because they think the big dream for every woman is to get married and have a family when it just isnt true. I'm happy for women who have that and I hope they're happy and I don't object to the possibility but it's not a priority. If it happens it happens but if I have to force it, I just know it isn't going to be right. And exactly dating is NOT fun at all. It's stressful and awful and honestly downright unpleasant. 

But I entirely agree pets are GREAT friends and much better snugglers. My grey cat, Athena snuggles with me a lot. She sleeps on me and is very cuddly. My other cat isnt as snuggly and the dogs are all up to snuggling but sometimes they can be overwhelming. it's just too much. Can't be lonely with so much love.

But thank you for replying and providing your input. It's nice to know others are in the same boat


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## frlsgirl

Awww, well you don't have to prove anything to us or others; you are who you are; you are not supposed to be like someone else; you need to be you. Sometimes other people have their own baggage trying to live up to the expectations of others and they try to transfer that onto you. Don't listed to them; let them be who they are and then just brush it off and move on.

By the way, that canter picture on Frankie - I got goose bumps! Absolutely stunning!


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## NavigatorsMom

Been reading your thread forever but don't think I've ever posted, but just also wanted to say you are definitely not alone with the mindset of dating/relationships. Guys lately are very focused on one thing and judge by appearances (of course women can be just as bad!), and if I hadn't found the guy I did I likely would not be in a relationship because it is just so hard to find someone who is actually a good person - still, we moved very slowly and even now after 6 years have only just moved in together, looking at possibly getting married within the next few years. I have social anxiety (I HATE small talk as well, and it has made it difficult for me to make friends in "real life"), and probably general anxiety, and I get what you mean about being worried he will wake up one day and not care for me anymore, but I suppose since it's been so long and we've been through quite a lot I don't worry about it as much. Or at least try not to let myself worry. My nature is that of a worrier! 

Anyway, my point being, I totally get your wanting to not get married and just have your animals and even I feel like I would be happy that way, that seems like it would be a nice life to live. Try not to worry about what others think of it (though I know it's hard when it's family's opinions of course).

Love the pictures of Frankie, she is stunning, and I'm so happy you were able to visit Dante again!


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## PoptartShop

I agree 100%. Exactly. I'm also glad to know there's someone else who sees things the way I do! Like thank you, not all of us single ladies are lonely! & I have to second @frlsgirl that is my favorite shot!!!  So awesome!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- you're absolutely right about people sometimes dropping their baggage on others with expectations. But thank you. I'm pretty driven but not at others expense, mostly for my own but I have a big desire to please as well. But when people pressure me on things that aren't for me, it makes me pretty furious and I defend myself. I'm used to having to defend myself because seldom does anyone else pitch in on my behalf. When I was in GA for education in the Marines, I was the only female and it was the only place I ever truly experienced sexism. I had to CONSTANTLY fight for myself and to be treated with basic respect. The superiors no problem but the peers resented me as a woman and I constantly had to stick up for myself and fight alone because no one, no matter how wrong and out of line the peers could get not a single person would look out for me. I outperformed them on tests. In the fleet, it was totally different but there it taught me to be pretty defensive and to stick up for myself when people are unreasonable. 

But thank you. I really like that shot too! I'm excited about how we progress as we go.
_____________

Navigatorsmom- Isnt that the truth? It's very hard to find just GOOD, DECENT, HONEST people. But that's fabulous you have found someone who you feel confident in and trust and who has been there through the ups and downs and has the courage to face it. That's excellent.

And exactly. It isnt a bad life with just animals, it's really very happy and fulfilling and I think that's unusual to a lot of people. 

But thank you. I love my horse babies, even though Dante has a new mom.
_____________

Allison- lol precisely. A lot of us single ladies are not waking for some bloke to sweep us off our feet and "make our dreams come true." We're not Cinderella and that isn't our ambition. We enjoy our independence and if the right person comes in we'll be open to it but we're not going to seek it out because we're happy as we are. 

But thank you 
___________

Lesson isn't until late tonight and I only have Leo to ride.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Lesson on Frankie was cancelled so I rode Leo.

We had a light ride because his allergies seemed to be bothering him. We had some AMAZING moments where he felt the best he ever did but it was pretty short lived because we'd need to stop to let him catch his breath. He was a really good boy, I felt bad for him. He just wasn't himself and he's not that out of shape. I think his allergies were bothering him and he's older and when your older you have days that just aren't as good as other days. So we stopped the rider when it felt like he was having fun and ready to go. I gave him an apple and stretched him which he really needed. I got a tongue bath of kisses afterwards. 

I also lunged Frankie and made her go. I haven't lunged her in a while and she was not motivated or particularly wanting to go forward. It took a while to get her woken up and thinking FORWARD. She's also grown, I'm sure of it. She might be 16.3h now.


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## PoptartShop

Aww, allergies suck. :sad: Yeah, they were probably bugging him so he wasn't quite himself. But I am glad you still ended up having amazing moments & a good ride overall.  I'm sure he loved the apple & stretches! I hope his allergies subside soon! Stupid pollen! 

That's good you had time to lunge Frankie as well. She is so big! :O Awww!


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## frlsgirl

Yeah, Ana has also been coughing here and there lately which is not like her; must be allergies.


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## Tazzie

I hope you're feeling better. Fights with your parents are no fun at all :/ especially over something so personal. It isn't anyone's business if you get married or not. Your choice, not theirs. That is just such a personal decision that no one else should be able to influence it. I'm sorry you're going through that :/

Sorry your lesson was cancelled though :sad: I'm sure Frankie looked great on the lunge once she got her butt going! And ugh to Leo's allergies. Seems its hitting everyone badly this year! Hopefully you measure Frankie soon so you'll know if she grew!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Thank you. And yes Frankie is pretty tall :lol: most of the horses I work with are pretty big. Leo is 16.3h, Raphael is almost 16.2h, Dooley is 18.2h Friday is small 15.3h but most of the horses are over 16h, so anymore it just seems normal lol.

But definitely allergies SUCK! I hate them, so I can only imagine how the horses feel about them. But thank you. Pollen is evil!
___________

Tanja- Most likely. Poor Ana. Allergies SUCK! Poor Dooley has to be on antihistamines with his allergies or he itches his skin raw. 
___________

Katie- It really is. I HATE arguing with family, especially about something so personal and to not be HEARD. And certainly it is a REALLY personal choice and it may or may not ever happen. That's for God and fate to decide. If it happens, it happens but I don't need it to happen and Im not going to go out looking for it.

It's okay. I had my lesson tonight and Frankie was quite good. Unfortunately on the lunge she doesn't move all that well but I think she learns a lot on the lungeline and it helps her figure out her own body a bit better without having to worry about a rider and how to accept contact and kinda let her fight herself, rather than me and learn how to go without too much help. And yes. Allergies have been bad this year, it's gotten me as well! 

I don't really want to measure her until later. She's just going to keep growing for a little while. I think she'll be 16.3h+ when all is said and done and even if she doesn't grow she's plenty tall. 
___________

Update

I rode Frankie and Friday tonight.

Frankie's saddle is a little too wide atm and bounced a bit behind (going to use sheepskin with the prolite vs just prolite with the shim), so I had to sit trot on her more than I like to at her age but when the saddle bounces behind a lot of the times horses are happier when you sit than if you post. She has a lot of movement. Her canter was the best it's been undersaddle. I really think lunging her really helped her work it out. Sometimes them just working it out without a rider really helps. I may start lunging her again once a week just to let her figure things out. 

Friday was very good for not having been ridden in a week. We really need to get more regular with him. He was peppy and a bit spicy lol not that I blame him with as much time as he's had off and the saddle is too narrow for him but he was a really good boy. Good paces all 3 gaits, changes of direction. It was maybe a 20min ride. We need to get him back into shape.

Raphael bashed his head on something, so I don't know when I'll be riding him next. He has stitches all along his forehead.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I was also going through videos

Frankie's first time trotting off the lungeline. I was also a bit thinner then lol. I've gained 5-6lbs (whoops)





December





Murray clinic February









April





And May. First time outside. She was so full of it lol. I felt like I had to be very careful so she wouldn't explode









Lots of changes and she's growing and changing constantly as well. I'll say she's much better about steering and actually has a canter transition now. She can lengthen, shorten, leg yield, do some shoulder fore and walk, trot, canter. She could do a 1st level test 1 or 4yr old FEI test but I'm hoping to switch barns for a week, so she gets some exposure. She's still too over reactive to new stimuli. I'll say riding her today reminded me in different hands someone could make Frankie seem very hot and spooky when she's not.


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## frlsgirl

It's really neat when you can keep a video diary like this and then go back and see the changes; isn't that encouraging? Also, you were talking about lunging to help Frankie, are you seeing a difference when you lunge immediately before you ride or do you see a difference if you just lunge instead of riding, in other words, does the benefit gained by lunging one day carry into the next day?


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## Rainaisabelle

Frankie is looking spectacular !


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## Tazzie

I'm glad they were so good! What good babies!

What did Raphael do to his head?? Poor guy!!

And it's so cool to look back on your progression! You guys have come a long way!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I lunge in side reins or with the reins tied to the girth because they're lighter and don't swing so much as side reins and give a more steady connection for them to work into. I don't go very tight, just so it's there and gives them a place to work into. I find it helps them figure out their body and balance a lot better without having to worry about a rider and to just find their place. Or if there is a contact issue (depending on horse) for them to fight it out with themself and work it out on their own. I also do small gaits-big gaits and play with forward and back in the gaits, leg yield, etc. But I definitely think it carries on. I think of it as part of the training program to improve suppleness, coordination and strength. 

When I lunge I usually do it as a separate thing, so if I lunge I wont ride but some definitely go better being lunged first before being ridden. It just depends on the horse. Lunging is an art.
____________

Raina- Thank you. I'm pretty proud of us. We have a LONG road ahead but slowly but surely we're moving forward.
____________

Katie- Thank you. I love my kiddos (I call them my kids lol). They take a lot out of me but I love them.

I have NO idea what he did to his head, none! I just know he hit it on something

And thank you we've come a LONG way. Still have a LONG way to go but slowly but surely we're coming along. 
_____________
Stallions I like. Not in order for favorites. I like them all for different reasons/

Franklin - Yancey Farms

I also like these ones 
1st produces really well and this is my preferred style of mover. I like the larger body with more power. I like the offspring I've seen from this stallion and he seems to put a definite "stamp" on his kids. 
SES Stallion: Belissimo M, Rheinlander, Frozen Semen Equine Semen

I also like this stallion but will have to see in a few years what he produces
IBIZA (Asgard?s Ibiza) - Yancey Farms

I'm also on a NO Sandro Hit, Jazz or Krack C up close. Sire can be a grandson but no closer lol. I also don't like Fidertanz. 

If I breed Frankie is won't be for several years. If I breed her I want something with more substance and a bit hotter. Kinda drives me crazy that all the newer stallions are so refined. I'd probably work with Mari to find a stallion for Frankie when the time comes. We're probably 4-5 years from looking at that

I visited with a friend I had in middle school which was very nice. We used to ride together and went on tons of trails rides. Now she's a pilot. 

Also rode Friday, Frankie and Leo today. Leo was PHENOMENAL. I tried to get video but unfortunately the video didn't take but 4 seconds of the ride. So I was sad but hopefully I'll have a lesson on Leo on Sunday. That's my hope a least. I was really sad the video didn't take because I REALLY wanted to see Leo's canter and how much he's improved since he's gotten SO much stronger and I've gotten so much better. Our changes were really quite good today. My legs were shaking when I get off of him. He has SUCH MASSIVE, POWERFUL paces. It takes everything I have to ride him but it's SO rewarding. When I ride him I feel like he and I are one like we were just made for each other. I can't explain it but we just fit. Mari is a MUCH better rider than I am and was laughing because she said she can't get Leo to try and getting any forward is exhausting and I've seen Pam struggle with him too and David was scared of Leo but I've learned SO much from him. Leo and I were puffing! He got a massage, stretched and treats which he appreciated.

Then Frankie wasn't herself. We wonder if she's in season. With her you can't tell. She's not marish, no squealing or peeing or any of that. So it's hard to tell but she just felt sore in her body, so we didn't even have a lesson. She just didn't feel comfortable in her body. And ovulation can be painful which I understand because I find it more uncomfortable than that other time of the month.

Friday was also very good. We did some collected trot, medium trot with him to get him to really sit and carry. He is a bit downhill and has that tendency but has no problem sitting and taking behind. He was a little tricky but good.


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## DanteDressageNerd

A few other stallions I like. I mostly started thinking a lot about this because Mari said Frankie looked pregnant (she's not, just grass belly, I need a grazing muzzle) and I thought if anything happens where if she had a long term lay off, I might look into breeding her. ATM my favorite stallion when I breed Frankie is Franklin. I have a good feeling about him and think he'd complement her best so far. My 2nd favorite is Bonds. I really liked a stallion named Secret but he doesn't strike me as very intelligent. Something about his eye I don't like and reactions to aids. 

My favorite. Still trying to see more of his offspring to get an opinion.





Frankie is by Fürstenball l and her dam is by Geronimo (hanoverian by Glorieux) out of a tb mare. 

Geronimo (Frankie's dam sire)





and her sire Fürstenball 









Bonds has the qualities I like about Bellisimo M (he's a grandson) but it'll be interesting to see how he produces. It doesn't matter what their phenotype is if their genotype is totally different.
SES Stallion: Bonds, Oldenburg, Frozen Semen Equine Semen





SES Stallion: Don Juan De Hus, Dutch, Frozen Semen Equine Semen

Another stallion I do like and know quite a bit about is a Trakehner called Imperio. He's hot but not mean but I do not think he'd be a good cross for Frankie because he is a bit down and doesn't have the kind of movement I like. Plus he's a refining stallion and Frankie is PLENTY refined. It's also interesting because I've been following this stallion since he was 5, long before Hubertus got him. But from what I understand he's extremely hot and difficult to ride. I think you'd have to be Hubertus's caliber to ride this horse this well at the upper levels. Plus he looks CRAZY bouncy and hard to sit.





This is a stallion I knew in Germany. He produces very well and I've heard rave reviews on his offspring but I know him too well. He's very hot and he's mean. I knew this one as a 3yr old in Germany. He's EXTREMELY hard to ride, Hubertus actually refused to take this horse out because he felt that his life was in danger, so the owners got a young person to take him out. Make him jump and expose him to life before Hubertus felt safe on him. He said this horse makes him nervous.





And his sire Estobar I do really like, he produces well and from what I've heard isn't mean 1st video is 2015 with Hubertus Schmidt and 2nd video is 2017 under a different rider









I guess it's also kind of funny because I've been a big Hubertus Schmidt fan since 2006? And my trainer wasn't as thrilled with him but now her trainers trains with Hubertus and she clinics with Hubertus and is a big fan lol. I've been a big fan of Carl for a while and am so happy he's been as successful as he has!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Leo and I from today. I was hyperventilating at every walk break. I was breathing so hard trying to organize everything. I LOVE this horse. He wasnt as good as the other day when video wasn't taken but he tried very hard. I was breathing much harder than he was though lol. Also note his right hind is the weak one, he had the suspensory injury on and was off for 18 months so I do have to exaggerate to help him with the right hind and he is tighter on the right rein because of his right hind. You can feel it's weaker when you ride him.





Middle. I tried to get him looser and freer in his canter. It's ugly but that's how I've been able to get the movement in the canter and trot. They need the freedom over the back and to stretch and truthfully I think he needs a stretching day. He is downhill and he's been working pretty hard, so I think he needs a hack out and stretchy day. You can also see more of his natural movement in the long-low.






After warm up, starting outside but was too hot so we went inside. Super humid. 






But I'm also the type of person who when I watch my own videos, I tend to rip myself apart lol. It also showed me this saddle isn't really a good fit for me lol. His canter is rough but I love his trot. It's big, it's bouncy with a lot of suspension and my legs are jello when I get off of him but it's just a fun, nice feeling with a lot of movement. His canter is not his strong suit. It's not a bad canter but it's always going to take a bit to get the quality canter because he naturally tends to want to go a bit lateral in his canter and down but anyways I love this horse. He tried really hard for me and I REALLY want to take some lessons on him and really work on me and improve me because I need it. I want my butt kicked. And I definitely need spurs on Leo for the lateral work, he used to be willing. Now he's like meh you don't have weapons, I don't take you seriously and with him it's not that you have to use them strongly. He just needs to know you have him then he's like oh you mean it lol you absolutely have to work for everything you get, no freebies with Leo!


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## frlsgirl

You and Leo look really good together. With mares it's sometimes hard to tell. I swear Ana is in season all summer long. She's not marish either but it's hard to get her forward; I guess it's from being sore and tired. Oh well, maybe Frankie needed to #netflixandchill lol.

Those are some good stallion choices. My top WBs are the old classics: Donnerhall, Rotsponn, Rohdiamant, Weltmeyer.

For Ana I like Statesman Signature:

Morgan Stallions | Morgan Stallion Statesmans Signature Sigi


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## PoptartShop

You and Leo look so good! :mrgreen: I also tend to tear myself apart when I watch myself, we are our worst critics! :lol: You guys look so good. He is definitely a powerhouse but I agree, you will learn a lot with him if you take lessons with him.  Hmm Maybe Frankie was having some bad cramps or something, lol. Maybe she just needed a day off. Hope she feels better. :sad: That's awesome you got to see an old friend too.  That's so cool she's a pilot! 
Glad Friday is doing good as well!  Sounds like everyone is doing lovely.

Nice stallions, too! They are definitely some lookers!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Thank you. I love Leo. He's my buddy. I've known him for 9 years. 

But maybe you're right. Frankie needed a netflix and chill day lol. I kinda think it's the heat. I'm not the same in the heat either, maybe it's the same for Ana?

Those are good stallions. Frankie has Donnerhall in her pedigree and Dooley is a brother to Donnerhall. We had a Rhodiamont x DeNiro (Donnerhall) mare. And Weltmeyer is good. Leo is actually LondonderryxWerther. I'm really interested in introducing some dutch blood to Frankie's line.

Leo's dam sire http://www.superiorequinesires.com/stallions/werther.shtml and sire http://www.superiorequinesires.com/stallions/londonderry.shtml

Raphael's sire is by Rotspon

Sorry I'm a little nerdy about warmblood breeding because Pam used to breed and have known some really good breeders and gotten to know a lot of lines and what they tend to produce. There is a definite stamp on some

He seems like a neat stallion. Unfortunately I cant view his video but I've seen there are some GP morgan stallions out there.
___________

Allison- Thank you! And definitely. I think we all tend to be that way or at least should. I've met some people with enormous egos for no reason at all, other than they look down their nose at everyone and never take look in the mirror. Where as I'm the opposite. I'm more reasonable with other people and harder on myself which in all honesty has it's negatives but I think you become more competent putting that on yourself, rather than thinking you're something you're not or at least no matter what happens keep you with an air of humility and acceptance of imperfection and not needing to belittle anyone to justify yourself or make yourself feel good.

But thank you I love my kiddos and the stallions I don't love but I REALLY like Franklin. He's definitely my favorite atm
___________

update

Didn't ride but had a good discussion with one of my friends and we discussed various horses.

With Leo we were talking about how he's not an easy horse to ride and put together or ride well because he is so big and moves so big and the way he's put together, etc. She's ridden him and reads horses well. We were talking about Leo and how most people struggle with him because they shut him down and he loses confidence in the rider. And I said Leo has to be ridden with mutual respect and appreciation. The rider HAS to be fair. and respect that he is an intelligent being. If you ride Leo and try to make him do anything he will fight you and win. I've seen him get nasty but if you ask and are fair to him he will give you it all. It also kinda makes me laugh because a few people for a long time didn't believe me when I said how nice Leo is because they'd only seen him in lessons and he moves very nice-average but he's a really nice horse. You can't make Leo do anything, it's ask, encourage and allow. Leo is a hard worker and he is a fabulous horse, is he easy to ride. No, it takes a lot out of me to ride him but he's a hard working, good guy who is loving and has a good spirit.

We also discussed Frankie (she's a saddle fitter) and she saw Frankie's video and understood why saddle fit has been tricky. She's like two different horses atm front and back and that her hind end is SO powerful she just doesn't know what to do with it because she's not sure where her legs are (which I knew) but it's good to hear it in a different way or shed new light on it. Because honestly when I ride her she feels like a run away train and I'm trying to help her find her legs and help her balance, so she doesn't have legs flying everywhere and hurt herself. She needs help to organize her power and not over power herself. I talked to her and said Frankie is hard to ride, she's not naughty but it takes a LOT to organize her and she's like I have no doubt. She looks like a lot to ride. Frankie will get easier as she develops but fairly typical of a strong young horse. It's also why it's so important to keep organizing these types because honestly a horse like Frankie if just left to run around will lose confidence and shut down. Frankie loses confidence and shuts down and loses desire to mover forward when not in balance. And I cant say that I blame her, Id be no different.

We talked about it too because she has thoroughbreds and has also ridden the higher end wbs and spanish horses, so we talked about how people see these big moving horses and think they make their riders look good but what people don't realize is how much more these horses take to ride than a qh or a tb or something that doesn't have so much movement or power. It's a lot more to ride and organize. Especially through movements but the PRE's and spanish types are much easier and we think that is why they are popular. They're harder in terms of rhythm control and true cadence and pure rhythm but much easier to organize (in general) and more comfortable.

We also talked about the difference between a horse who anybody can ride but is hard to ride well and a horse who is just difficult and a horse who anybody can ride and is pretty easy to ride well. Very different types. 

A big part of me wishes I could afford to get training in Wellington someday. I don't think I'll ever have that kind of money but I wish I did, I'd love to have that caliber of training. Id do a lot to be able to do that lol but really if I had unlimited resources I would go to England and train with Carl Hester.


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## frlsgirl

I've thought about taking a week off from work at some point and go get trained somewhere; like ride 2 to 3 horses a day, maybe a lunge line lesson to work on just myself, and work on other areas that I'm lacking in like braiding and bandaging. I guess that's what you do every day so it would just be another day in the office for you, lol. But maybe you could take a week off and fill in for a working student in Florida? Sometimes stables need a quick stand in for a working student that's out sick or on vaca.

Here is a video link to Ana's potential baby daddy:


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## Tazzie

I sure hope Frankie starts feeling better! Leo looks fabulous though! Glad you're having so many good rides on him!

The stallions are lovely! So many nice ones out there now! I'm sure the perfect one will be there when you do decide to go ahead and breed Frankie!

And it sounds like you had a good chit chat yesterday! Sorry you didn't get to ride, but sounds like you had fabulous conversation regardless!

It would be fun to train in Wellington! Or with Carl Hester! Sadly that sounds like just a lovely dream for most of us :sad:


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## PoptartShop

That sounds like a nice and interesting conversation about the horses.  Yes. Like, Redz is not an easy ride. I enjoy it though. My friend always says to me, 'why do you like riding him so much? Don't you ever just wanna just sit and relax?' I'm like no? What's the fun in that? I love putting work into my rides and the challenges are what keeps it fun! :lol: More rewarding that way too, and I do relax on Redz obviously, but I am just not into the 'easy' horses haha.
Leo is awesome too!  It takes a LOT to ride a horse like that!



I hope Frankie feels better as well & in time she will become more organized with her feet.  That would be so awesome to train with Carl Hester...oh, we can dream! :sad:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- yes I like him! He'd be a good pic. 3 solid gaits. Seems like a solid guy all around. I like him!

Unfortunately I don't think my body could handle the working student life anymore. I did that for about 2 years and it's very labor intensive, hard work. I worked easily 70hr weeks and no breaks, not even a 5min sit down. I think the longest day I worked was 14-15 hours as a working student. Longest day I've ever worked was in the Marines I cant remember how long but I had to stay up for 2-3 days (dreadful will NEVER do it again, I was hallucinating). My back gets SO bad trying to clean stalls anymore, it's not worth it because it literally cripples me. 

But definitely I think that sounds like a fantastic vacation idea! And always. Always can gain knowledge on something, always a good thing!
_______

Katie- Definitely. Me too. I'm looking into a cavallo pad for her atm because all these adjustments and playing with trying to get her comfortable is ridiculous because in truth the saddle is a pretty darn good fit but she's SUPER picky. The happiest she's been in with the ecogold pad. But thank you. Leo has been really good and helped me out with a lot. Im trying to take some lessons on him, I need my butt kicked lol.

Certainly. Atm I think Franklin will be the stallion I go with. I really like him for Frankie. I think it'd be a good match. He's steeper in the croup and higher in the neck and has the movement and temperament I like. He's hotter but not mean and reasonable.

Certainly. I enjoy horsey conversations. Anything to do with horses lol

I know right? And wouldn't it. I'd LOVE to spend a month riding various schoolmasters in lessons.
_______

Allison- Oh exactly! It's nice to get on something and know it's thinking and keep you focused and interested as well. It's boring without having enough to do. I can't even just "sit" on a horse anymore. It's just not possible lol.

He is. I LOVE Leo. He's my buddy! I look out for him and he looks out for me.

I sure hope so. Today she felt a LOT less baby, just a lot more marish and picky about things lol. 
_______

Update

I rode Leo and Frankie today

Leo had a very light day. Lots of long loose, 3 loop serpentines, circles, some shoulder in, haunches in, leg yield, turn on the forehand squares and really accentuated my expectation with bend and two point canter and getting him really forward and rhythmical. I think it'll help get more jump in his canter.

Then lesson on Frankie. She was a bit tricky. We're still messing with saddle fit which she is not happy unless it's 100% perfect and I'm not sure she likes the prolite girl. She was very upset about turning left. A few times I literally closed my fingers on the left rein and she'd twist her head like I had just ripped her teeth out of her mouth. She's very sensitive and pretty particular. But she is growing up. I'm pretty sure 16.3h now. I'm a little over 5'7 and her with comes up to my hair line. 

Keep in mind her trot wasn't good today and left is her hard way but she wasn't happy about something under my thigh (the shims). She's changing so fast, it's a constant adjustment to make her happy :-( it's SO frustrating. But her trot felt like rubbish, it doesnt look as bad as it felt. It felt ugly and Mari was like her trot was terrible today and I was like I think you might be right about the girth *Shrugs* who knows but she feels like she's growing up and mentally she's starting to feel a lot more mature than she has. Her body is becoming more mature as well. She's definitely still growing. If she matures 17h I won't be surprised.

I'm back on a "diet" which isn't really a "diet" just being more mindful of what I eat and cutting back to lose weight because I need to get down to about 140lbs. Im at 145-146 right now. I don't want to get too much under 140lbs because I look disgusting. I've been down to 135lbs and you could count all my ribs, the muscle on my shoulders and back atrophied and my hips were sunken in. It was gross. 





















She's really quite opinionated. She's a good girl but she is quite particular. She also is VERY displeased if a rider sits too heavy on her back. She's quite particular. She also hates baths. She's awful to bathe. She piaffes the whole time, getting after her is pointless. It does absolutely nothing. She has had no terrible experiences. She just hates it. Nobody else does, just Frankie. I think it's that she hates the feeling of water dripping off of her body. Sounds crazy, I know but she HATES that *shrugs* I love her but she's very special lol. Not Dante special but special lol. She takes after me I guess lol


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## frlsgirl

Frankie sounds a lot like Ana; Ana despises baths and will turn into a GP horse as soon as I turn the hose on her. I've had to relearn how to post the trot because she can't deal with landing heavily in the saddle; so I redistribute my weight over my thighs and she is a lot happier with that. Those are some great pictures of Frankie though


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## PoptartShop

Frankie is so silly & adorable. I love how opinionated she is. LOL it is quite funny she doesn't like baths too much. Does she not like the rain too? :lol: The last picture is SO silly!!! Omg I love it haha, she is a big goober!
Yeah, the saddle fit is tough for her. :sad: I hope you figure out something soon, ugh! She is definitely growing! You didn't look too bad though don't be hard on yourself!  It's hard to work with a baby especially a big one! You guys look good! 
That's my goal weight right now, 140-145. I am almost in the 150's so I am trying lol. I am short so 145ish is good for me, I still want to keep my thickness (thighs and booty) LOL. You look great! <3 
You will feel a lot better if you are more mindful of what you eat, surprisingly enough it helps keep my anxiety at bay since I've started eating better. :smile: Glad you had a good little ride on Leo, too!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- They likely have quite a few similarities. Overall good but are very particular about how things are and their mom is THEIR mom and they don't like sharing lol. Mari will usually get onto me if I'm too heavy, so transitioning to Frankie wasn't too bad but I'll say I accidentally landed too hard in the saddle and I mean barely because she bolted and she immediately tensed up, hollowed her back and got upset. She's also very mouth sensitive.

But I think so too! It suits her. She's a personality and a half. Very silly.
_____________

Allison- She really is. I've been told a few times she's basically me as a horse because I make lots and lots of dorky faces too. Frankie's are just better than mine lol. She's a total goober!

Thank you. I try to be hard on myself, so I can keep driving myself to improve brick by brick. I want to be as fair as possible to the horses and refine myself more and more. I'm just addicted and love it. I've never been afraid to work myself hard and honestly I need to. It keeps me focused. Im trying another half pad because thinline and prolite are simply not working, she's not happy and the saddle is a pretty darn close fit (little wide), so I ordered an avacallo from smartpak to try and see if it makes Frankie happy. She hates thinline, prolite, lami cell, sheepskin and loved ecogold. So it's whatever makes the Princess happy. So far she likes the 1/2in felt the best. All the horses seem to like that one.

lol I understand. Shape is never a bad thing. I think everybody has a good weight for them that's healthy and they feel comfortable being at. I feel most comfortable at about 139-142lbs (I'm a little over 5'7) but I have small bones (ankle 8in) but I'm muscle dense. My waist is about a 25 and my thighs are 22. Hips are 38, bust 38. 
_____________

I hope to catch up on journals soon. I've been really tired and keeping busy!

Alright so basically I'm exhausted!! I don't know why I'm having such a hard time recovering but my right knee is giving me a lot of trouble. It feels like bone on bone grind atm so I'm trying to stay off of it as much as possible which SUCKS!! I like being busy and doing stuff CONSTANTLY, so taking a step back is painful.

I met with Dante's mom today and we had a good chat, she came out and met Frankie and all the horse's at the barn. Frankie was like who are you, I'll be friendly but you're not my mother. Frankie is very mom conscious. She's quite possessive. 

Frankie wasn't happy. She had been nickering at me for a while but I didnt start videoing until the last minute and she was like I've had enough, I'm crawling back into my stall






I rode Leo lightly today because he seemed somewhat stiff. So I mostly focused on him going without too much from me, just self going with no whip or spurs but just adding leg and getting a clear reaction and him following my hip. Canter transitions were better, canter was quite good. Quite a bit of serpentines and various circles sizes and having him just respond to my position and guiding between my knees and making it light and easy. He was quite through and not as expressive or going as well but I was working on me mostly and also keeping it light for him. Tomorrow we'll do more.

Hopefully a lesson on Frankie tomorrow (I do 3 30min lessons per week on her). She doesn't do too much more than that right now because she's growing but I really want to haul her out and go for a hack.

I was also teased for being too white and I was like I can't really help my whiteness. I'm naturally very fair with light hair, so can't really get pretty dark skin but I guess I'm one who thinks you can be beautiful in a variety of different ways. It's not a one size fits all formula. I think it's the differences that are unique and beautiful. I'm ethnic German-Russian with some Danish and Dutch, however I DO tan and don't burn all that much but I wear sunscreen to protect my skin.

My mother is concerned that I am too much of a cat Lady as well. It concerns her for some reason though I don't get it. I have two cats and they're my babies. Besides that my animals always come first. They're like my kids and I love them and want them to be happy.

Also pictures with my girlie. She's hilarious!


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## DanteDressageNerd

A little sad for Miss Frankie. She's not hurt or anything but I don't think anybody likes seeing their baby uncomfortable. She has sore ovaries, so I may end up putting her on a depo regimen to make her comfortable. Some mares have painful heat cycles, especially at maiden mares.

We started her in a lesson today and she just felt tight and protective of her back, we got her loosened up but then right to left felt totally different from left to right. Right she felt springy, elastic and free, left she felt tight, flat and short in her stride. My trainer said I was very straight and landing very lightly but her back just didn't feel right, so we agreed to end the lesson. 

I'm also going to start her on purina supersport. I've been so amazed by how well it works and I'm not a purina fan but the difference I've seen it make in the horse's that take it is HUGE, so I'm putting Frankie on it and not going to buy Vit E anymore. It's also VERY affordable. Also scheduling her with the chiropractor for once he's done recovering hip replacement surgery (he needs to fix me too). His cousin adjusted me but I don't think he did it right and for me it is VERY important to be properly adjusted or it REALLY affects my degenerative disk and puts excessive pressure on my knee which is just getting worse and worse. I'm so frustrated by it. 

https://www.purinamills.com/horse-feed/products/detail/supersport-amino-acid-supplement

Frankie also needs a grazing muzzle. She's not chubby but she gets fat pretty easily, especially with how lush the pastures are.

I'm also feeling pretty sore and ouchy. My right knee is super painful. I really can't do physical labor type jobs anymore, my body just won't take it. I bent over, literally all I did was bend over and I had such sharp pains from my lower back on up it was bad. I have degenerative disks in my lower back, arthritis, chronic tendenitis in my left hip flexor, etc. I'm not being a baby, it just really hurts. So I opted to ride Leo tomorrow and on Tuesday. 

Frankie's half pad should be here next week to try and we'll do a lesson on Frankie on Wednesday. I just want her to feel better :-(

As for pads she hates prolite, thinline, and sheepskin. I'm trying acavallo from smartpak. Her saddle fits really pretty darn close but is a little wide.

This is what I'm trying
https://www.smartpakequine.com/pt/acavallo-spine-free-gel-and-memory-foam-half-pad-13504

Raphael still has stitches in his head but he should get them taken out soon and Friday lost a shoe and is getting it put on, so I'm a little sad lol.


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## frlsgirl

Since you spoke of being sore, are you getting enough magnesium? I'm sure it's just as hot in MO as it is in OK and we actually had a rider cramp up and dismount in the middle of a test Saturday due to not getting enough fluids and magnesium. Just a thought. I also ordered magnesium for Ana just in case it's causing her soreness. I'm sure you have Frankie on magnesium?

I hear you on the overly white thing. What bothers me the most is that every little scratch and dent really stands out against the super white back drop 

About the cat thing, I'm sure you would do other cat ladies proud, lol.


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## Tazzie

Awww, I hope you feel better soon!! None of that sounds fun at all!

Sorry Frankie is ouchy too  no fun for anyone! I sure hope the depo helps and starting her on new things. And fingers crossed she likes this pad!

I'm glad you had a good chat with Dante's mom. That's always good!

LOL to Frankie though. Izzie has learned to tolerate when I show my friend's two horses. Their mom holds Izzie while I run them, and she's ok with that. But I showed another horse that wasn't those two ONCE, and she whipped her head up and was like "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!" She wasn't naughty for my friend (who wouldn't have the physical ability to hold her if she did), but my friend said her face was that of disbelief that I would DARE handle anyone other than her or the other two she has learned to accept.

Frankly though, with regards to your parents, who cares if you become a crazy cat lady?! It's YOUR life. Do what makes YOU happy. Sheesh.

Good luck with the rides this week! Fingers crossed they go well! And I hear ya on the busy front :lol: you always think it will end and it never does!


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## PoptartShop

Ouch, sorry to hear you & Frankie aren't feeling too well. :sad: I hope you both feel better. I have messed up discs too it's no fun at all. I hope the new pad works out & she likes it!  Can't have the Princess upset LOL. She's so cute. I love the pictures!
You are two peas in a pod.

Poor Raphael! :sad: I really hope you have some good rides this week! <3 The chiro will help too. I am going to mine today, I desperately need an adjustment!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Yes I forgot to mention that because we seem to be on similar life cycles with our horses lol. I'm getting her an additional magnesium as well. I have her on natural vitamin E, probiotics, and MSM. She's on a balance rationer grain which is very nutritious but I'm adding additional magnesium and hope it does the trick! My trainer was like she may have sore ovaries (I put light pressure over where her ovaries/kidneys are and she was quite sensitive). Then she recommended adding magnesium and I said I'd put her on purina supersport as well. HUGE difference in the PSG pony and Dev who are on it. HUGE. 

It really does. You can't hide any blemishes or scars. 

lol I don't know. I only have two but I probably understand them a little too well and take too many pictures of them because I just love them and want to remember because we wont have each other forever.
_______________

Katie- Thank you. I hope to feel better soon too. When Im sat I feel okay, light pressure in lower back but I start walk and my knee I have to be careful walking on it because it feel like it'll hyper extent and rotate causing more damage. I have an ankle brace but it's not all that useful for the most part. I mean it helps stabilize and things but SUPER uncomfortable to sit or drive in and cant ride in it because it drives me INSANE. I'm not AS neurotic as when I was younger but I'm still pretty neurotic. Sensory stuff will drive me crazy and I cant really rationalize through it because it makes me feel like my skin is on fire or I can't stop thinking about it. 

I REALLY hope she likes the new pad. Im going through smartpak because free shipping and free returns in case we don't LOVE it. Really can't beat that! Though riding warehouse is another really good one. I bought my new helmet through them. Mine is 2 years old and had been dropped a few times, I still use it but with the babies I was like it's not worth the risk. Need a new one. 

I'm still breech hunting as well. I've tried a few but they don't fit right which is annoying. I think most women struggle with breeches. My hip bone is straightish but I'm very curvy. My thighs are big (I used to lift and was VERY fit), I have a butt but a small waist. Plus I'm neurotic so feel is a big deal. I HATE knit. I don't like it being too loose, I like feeling held together a little bit but a lot of breeches also don't come up all the way on me so I can't open my legs in them because they're too tight and my hips get tight if they're like that. I have one pair of breeches like that and it'd tighten my hip up. I'm selling those ones because they just don't fit me. My thighs are too big. They sort of work if I pull the fabric up high on my hip and I hold my legs off the horse for a while but they need a new owner. We have a local english tack shop about 30m away but they sell mostly hunter stuff vs dressage, so they don't really carry full seat breeches which fit differently than knee patch. I also only have 1 pair of white breeches lol. I have some OLD breeches from the early 2000s-90s but they look old. And a lot of white ones are more see through then I care for and make me feel naked. Im old fashion and believe in privacy lol. Smartpak is just too expensive for breeches. I can't afford 200-300 bucks! 

Dante was the same way and Leo gets jealous too. Frankie gets especially jealous of Leo, she doesn't mind Raphael or Friday but Leo or Fiyero is not okay to pet. I think they see it as we're cheating on them! Like wait but that's MY mom! 

*shrugs* I think parents need to have something to criticize at all times otherwise they dont feel as though they're doing their job as parents. Though to be fair my father doesn't care about the cat thing.
_____________

Allison- I hope we feel well soon. Messed up disks are terrible, it's SO painful. Sometimes it will be fine than sharp radiating pains that make your eyes water to a dull numb pain. I hope the pad works well!

I hope your chiropractor is able to straighten you back up.
_____________

I lunged Raphael and Frankie yesterday. She's much tighter on the lunge line in canter than undersaddle and she still moves differently from left to right. I took the browband off for Raphael and he was very happy to do something. I lunged both with no noseband or browband. Raphael was so happy to do something, he loves having a job. He also got a bath because he was FILTHY!

I also rode Leo who was very happy to be ridden, despite the heat. I was WAY more worn out than he was and had to get off early because I started seeing black spots (prior heat injuries), so Im unfortunately not as hardy as I used to be. But Leo was REALLY good very specific about aids which was good for me and we really had some brilliant canter work. His rhythm and uphill motion has improved SO much and his trot is SO much stronger, he's definitely as bouncy as Dante was now! WOW! It wears me out! I warmed him up in two point to keep in slow, rhythmical and without pushing for the bigger, more elastic and uphill gaits. I don't think a warm up should involve riding for the quality of gaits but quality of response to aids and quality of rhythm and basic suppleness. I also tend not to ride them as through as once they're warmed up. They're still through but not as deeply through, if that makes sense. I think they should have the chance to warm up first and I notice the horse's end up a lot more elastic and supple that way. 3 loop serpentines in two point just positioning and allowing and letting him step up to my hand in a basic forward rhythm.

Frankie calling me. She's been calling to me every visit, I didn't pet another horse. I thought it was mean to do but she was very sweet. Her person is her person, everyone else is just a person and I admit I like that. I like having a horse that's as happy to see me as I am to see her. I'm glad we have that bond and it's strengthening. 





Frankie also had a bath, her mane pulled some (we usually cut but Frankie's is so thick). Cutting for the thick dutch braids and a longer mane than we used to do, as is current fashion (and I like dutch braids a LOT better) WAY easier on my hands lol and I like the look better. 

I also clipped and banged her tail. I MUCH prefer a clipped and banged tail, I think it looks SO much better and quite sporty but I'm a groom.

She has started on supersport and magnesium. I hope she feels better soon! She also spent her first night in a grazing muzzle, as you can see she was less than thrilled but she's getting chunky (grass belly) and honestly I'd rather see a horse a hair thin than a hair fat, it's better for them. Fat can be dangerous.


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## PoptartShop

Awww, Leo is such a champ!  That is awesome about his trot! Such a good boy! I love that Raphael loves having a job too. It is so rewarding when a horse is super willing like that.  So nice to see how happy it makes them to have a purpose. Frankie is sooo cute calling you!! She loves her mama! <3 So sweet.
& I love the mane & tail. Looks so much neater that way.  Good job!!
I think she looks great. The supersport & magnesium should help her too. Pretty gal! You most certainly are her person.


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## frlsgirl

I like how you clipped her tail; it looks very professional. I tried to do that and it looked good for one day; then she went and itched her butt up against the fencing and all the little hairs I had trimmed stood straight up for days, so now I don't even bother with that anymore. Frankie looks good to me right now; just really healthy, not fat, just healthy. I love that she calls to you; Ana does the same thing when she's in her stall. I don't know the exact motivation; perhaps they are just happy to see us because we give them access to resources i.e. food, attention, freedom etc. I like to think it's because our mares love us but access to resources is probably the more likely motivation


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- He is! I love Leo! For me it's harder to get him to come back to me then to get him forward. 

She's a TOTAL mama's girl. She is all about her mommy and getting attention. She gets REALLY upset if I go a DAY without seeing her. 

She's actually really fat atm and she's on a diet. Dry lot over summer :-(
________

Tanja- Thank you. I love a clipped and banged tail. I think it's tricky to learn to do but it's pretty. You have to go down quite a bit and cut probably more than you were expecting or I don't know. I think it's something you have to play with, same with braiding. Nobody starts out just getting it. 

I don't know. Sometimes it is food, Frankie is VERY food motivated like Ana is but I never give her treats in her stall. So I think she's just happy to see me. I was also told she knows my car and starts nickering when she knows Im there. I think they love us and are happy to see us. I don't think they see us as vending machines lol.
________

Now Frankie was short stepping in front and felt off, we gave her several days off and she is being taken off of pasture. The muzzle is rubbing her chin and she is SO fat. Someone asked if she was pregnant and I was like we have no stallion or colts, how could she be? I ordered MagRestore and their Magnesium bath as well since they can absorb it through their skin. 

I almost broke down and cried, I don't like seeing Frankie uncomfortable for one and last year I played the guessing game all year with Dante and spent SO much money and not it's starting again with Frankie and just stings. I love my girl SO much, she suits me really-really well. She's PLENTY forward but very smart with a good work ethic and she really means well as long as she's comfortable. We have a little bit of the Princess and the pea going on. She DOESN'T go well if she's uncomfortable. This has been going on for a while but it's gotten worse. 

I am thinking of taking Frankie to another barn for a month to get her exposure to different places and I'd really like to be somewhere where I can hack her out because my gut feeling is she needs to just hack out and go up and down hills, gaining exposure. I probably won't show this year. I don't think I'll be able to afford it this year. And honestly I just want to take her out hacking for a month and let her gallop and fields, go up and down hills, etc. It's good for them. Her riding program is pretty light as she's still growing and honestly my goal is for her to last and be happy in her work. I really just want to take her out hacking and trail riding for a month to gain exposure and help her grow up and refresh.

I had a really good lesson on Leo last night and we think part of why I have a harder time keeping my position as solid is because he's SO wide and the saddle offers me support and puts me in a compromised position so he's wider than my pubic arch and so it's hard to keep your position supple but long and with toes facing forward to avoid use of spurs without mindfully doing so. Mari said she doesn't like teaching on Leo because he's tricky. IF you do things by the book and do things correctly, he won't give the right reaction. You have to know what you want and what you're feeling and insist on it and in that way he absolutely is not a school master but he's a good horse and he tries really hard for me. I still have a hard time in the heat though. We did quite a few walk to counter canters, walk to true canter, shoulder in, collected work, etc. It was good!

I also lunged Raphael and did in hand work with him. He was FABULOUS. He needs a job. I want to get back on him tomorrow. He LOVES working and using his brain, too bad he's not more agreeable but he's a smart, athletic, and very powerful guy!

Frankie is on a diet. An overweight horse makes me nervous. I've seen more issues like laminitis and insulin resistance in over weight horses than thinner ones. Id always rather see a horse a hair thin than overweight. They're just such big animals, it's harder on them especially growing ones. And over weight young horses have been linked to OCDs and other growth and soundness problems. 

I know she's not THAT overweight but she had a grazing muzzle on the grass and put on a lot, very lush pastures so she's on a dry lot this summer and some hand grazing.

http://www.thehorse.com/articles/10043/ready-steady-grow-feeding-young-horses

http://www.thehorse.com/articles/33375/health-concerns-related-to-equine-obesity

https://www.smartpakequine.com/content/overweight-horse

https://www.smartpakequine.com/cont...mc=HealthLibrary-_-Weight_-overweighthorse-_-


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## Tazzie

Poor Frankie  I hope she starts feeling better. I hope the diet and pulling her off of the lush, green field helps! And the MagRestore! It's a GREAT product! Haven't used the bath, but I sure hope it helps her!

Yay for a lesson on Leo though! I'm glad it was so good!

But really. I REALLY hope you won't be chasing issues like you did with Dante :sad: that would suck :/


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## frlsgirl

Frankie is beginning to sound a lot like Ana with the whole princess and the pea thing. They say that the sensitive ones are the really good ones; you know they get really expressive in their movement and judges like that. But if they are so sensitive that you can't even enter them into a show because one day the saddle doesn't fit, the next day a hair is out of place somewhere, etc, then is the sensitivity trait really worth it....I don't know the answer. I just know I love my girl and I'm sure you love Frankie as well and it's very frustrating when they are not feeling well and you are doing more than most people do for their horses to keep them going. I spend a lot of time scratching my head; but I wouldn't trade her for a fully functioning dead head.

Magrestore is a great product; mine just arrived yesterday and I can't wait to get Ana started on it again. 

Hopefully neither Ana nor Frankie will be on a permanent netflix-and-chill kind of lifestyle and then I'm sure Frankie will get her athletic figure back.


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## PoptartShop

Yay for a nice lesson on Leo! And Raphael is a very smart boy!  That is great. As for Frankie, awww, I know what you mean. :sad: It's hard not to worry. But you are doing the right thing & the MagRestore should help her too. I'm sure she will be back in good shape in no time. It will take some time but it will happen.  
Taking her out will also help- hills are very good for them & it will give her some more muscle too.  I think that's a good idea. And no rush for showing her, you show her when you feel is best. No pressure!  I hope she starts to feel better soon, of course you don't like to see your girly uncomfortable!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- I really hope so too! And she's seeing the chiropractor tomorrow so I have my fingers crossed she feels better! She has lost weight being taken off the grass. She is not a butter ball. She still has more weight to lose but I can at least feel her ribs now.

Me too. I want to take more lessons on him but with so much going on atm I need to save all I can.

I really hope not too. I hope it's something simple like chiropractic or she needs depo shots to keep her ovaries from hurting. Or Im REALLY hoping the magnesium is a magic cure all! I hope Mag Restore really does the trick!
_________

Tanja- They're a lot a like I think. Both sensitive mares with a mind of their own but I think Frankie is more needy and Ana more independent and assertive. Oh I agree! Reactive sensitive is great, sensitive-sensitive is a pain trying to figure out all the ins and outs of why they're uncomfortable and it can be as simple as a hair is out of place and it annoys them. 

*crossed fingers and prayers* it works for both Ana and Frankie!

I don't think either of them will be permanent netflix and chill ponies. I think it's temporary. 
_________

Allison- Thank you. I learned a lot in the lesson. It was really helpful!

I really wish we had trail like yours to go out on everyday, I really think that's what she needs. Some arena work but like once a week vs three times a week. 

Raphael is too smart lol. I love him but he's a PIA. I think we just need to make him a jumper, I don't know if he'll ever be consistent enough for dressage. He's so hot and cold. Some days I'll get off beaming and other rides I'll get off going you're going to be the death of me. I just know it.
_________

Update

I've been really busy and have a lot going on atm. I'm really stressed and not eating a whole lot. When I'm stressed I don't like to eat because it makes me more anxious. 

Raphael and I had a GREAT ride on Friday than last night he was a butt head. I got it on video but I was so frustrated. We had some broncing moments and I have NO idea why he's like this. I wasn't mean or unfair. I keep telling him he's lucky it's me on him when he does that because most people would have smacked the [email protected] out of him where as I just leg him on and send him on and move on. This is not a fight to be won but just work through it with patience. A different rider previously tried bullying him and it made him rear and WAY worse to where now you can at least negotiate with him, where as before he'd just go straight up for correcting him which he doesnt' do anymore. Lots and lots of patience. 

Little surprise. So I'm working on getting a second job to pay for something I wasn't expected but sort of just happened. I vetted a horse today. I won't elaborate because I don't want to jinx anything but long story short he passed and I'm hoping to bring him home next Monday. No pictures or real information about him until he comes home. If it doesn't work out for whatever reason I am going to cry my eyes out because I already love him. What's wrong with me? I've decided being a horse woman means passionate insanity. And this is also why I made a rule of just two cats because I would end up with 10 in no time and I DO NOT need 10 cats. People know when they find a stray. One of my cats was a stray a friend picked up and couldn't keep and couldn't find anywhere to take it. She would have gone to the shelter and I was like no give her to me! And that's how I ended up with Lyla. 

I have not told Frankie yet. She doesn't believe in sharing her mom. She's VERY clingy. I was petting her for a while and went to pet the arabian gelding whose family never comes to see him but he's super sweet and loves to cuddle. He's stalled right next to her and she started screaming and running circles in her stall until she put her nose through the hole so I could pet both. I also can't turn her out before other horses. She will scream at me and run the fence line until I pay attention to her. I love Frankie but she's very clingy. 

I really want to take Frankie to a trail barn for a few weeks. I just need to get her out and gain her exposure. She's mentally very immature. Her brother as a 4yr old was more mature and grown up than she is. I love Frankie but she needs to grow up and I feel like keeping her in the same environment is kinda keeping her in a baby-baby brain state. I honestly would not feel safe to have her in a warm up arena. I know I'd be fine but when her blood is really up steering is very approximate and in a busy warm up arena where no one is paying attention, I prefer not to have accidents. So show season is being put off again, this is 10 years of putting show season aside :-( Frankie just needs to get exposure to the world and she needs to grow up. Even for a 4yr old she's mentally like a young 3yr old. It's hard to explain, she's a good girl just a baby and I feel like she just needs to trail ride and hack out in fields for a while to grow up. Some arena work but her program needs to consist of walking around up and down hills, exploring new places and seeing new things. 

I don't over ride a horse so young. She works 3 times a week which is PLENTY for a baby.

Frankie and I both see the chiropractor tomorrow. I need it so bad. I've been in a LOT of pain the last few days. a LOT of pain. I'm always in pain but it's not been pleasant we'll say.


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## Tihannah

Everything will work out! ;-)

And totally agree. I think the more exposure you can give her, the more rounded she'll become. I think its a good decision to put off showing this season. Only you will know when she's ready and there's no need to rush it. Definitely don't tell her about the new horse yet, though! She definitely doesn't like sharing!


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## Tazzie

Yup, all will be fine! And I think you'll like the MagRestore! I always order my next bag WELL in advance of when I run out so there is never a lapse in it :lol:

And awwww, yay!! I can't wait to see a flood of pony pictures! I definitely wouldn't tell Frankie :lol: she'll be one MAD little girl!


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## PoptartShop

I think everything will work out just fine.  That is so exciting about the horse...keep us posted.  Frankie will have to get over it and share you! LOL, taking her to a trail barn will be a good idea. New experience for her, & more hills which she needs. Plus she will gain more muscle.  I think that's a step in the right direction. & I also can't wait to see pictures. :smile: Yay!

Also, nothing wrong with putting off show season again if you aren't ready/Frankie isn't ready. Nothing wrong with that. This way, when you do eventually show you will be all ready & that will be a lot better.
With Raphael, that is how I would have handled that as well. You can't fight with them, or get impatient (something my now ex-trainer had issues with, hence why Redz had so much baggage) it'll just make it worse. Just have to work through it with patience & get them focused on something else. I totally agree.
I'm sorry to hear about your stress/anxiety. Ugh. Not fun. :sad: I hope the chiro makes you feel better though & I think everything will be just fine!


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## frlsgirl

Wow, another horse? That sounds really exciting. Hiding your infidelity from Frankie is useless, lol, she will know. Ana was so upset with me last night because I was busy messing with Trooper and then when it was finally her turn I stuck a needle in her neck. Maybe you could move Frankie to the other barn while the new horse comes to your barn? But wouldn't that be upsetting to Frankie if you drastically changed the environment on her? Are there possibilities for her to just tag along to a few places? Are there others at your barn that go to shows on a regular basis that have a spot open in the trailer? That would be a good way to expose her to new things without totally blowing her mind. That's what everyone in our Dressage club does; bring the baby as a tag along and walk them, or lunge them and as I get used to it ride them around and eventually show them in an intro level class.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- Thank you. My anxiety is still pretty high atm. It's not as bad now that I've bought him and I've told my mom (not dad yet) and Pam but yikes. Not looking forward to the phone call with my Dad about him. When I'm with Wonder I don't even care what anyone says or how mad they're going to be at me but you know it's my money, I pay for everything by myself so I'm the one who has the say in it.

I think when things are meant to be everything transitions fairly smoothly *cross fingers* for safe travels.

Definitely. I'm seriously thinking about moving Frankie and keeping Wonder at the barn and doing lessons on him for a bit. Frankie needs exposure, Wonder has seen the world or at least a lot more of it than Frankie.
________

Katie- I really think I'm liking it so far. Wonder is already taking it and I think it'll help him because he's SUPER sensitive. He really doesn't like the curry comb and Frankie doesn't either. So I think it'll really help him out. I also have him on probiotics, MSM and vitamin E.

I don't know how she'll respond. I'm guessing like she is with Leo. She doesn't like Leo because he and I have a good relationship and she KNOWS. She senses it because I interact with Leo differently from Raphael and Friday. She is a pretty friendly mare but not too friendly, she's a Lady but she's friendly with everyone but pins her ears at Leo when she sees me walking by with him and tries to nip me which is VERY out of character for her.
________

Allison- Thank you and yes. I LOVE him!

With Frankie. Right now she isn't sound, so she may just need some down time for a bit and then trail and field riding! It really is good for them, mentally and physically!

And exactly! Some horses you need to get after a bit but a reasonable amount, not chasing them in circles smacking the [email protected] out of them. Just firm, direct and move on but riding should be fun! Most of the horses I ride look forward to work and that's how it should be. If they dread it, that's where you need to re-evaluate.

Chiro really helped him!
________

Tanja- That's an excellent idea and actually what I've been thinking about is Wonder staying at the barn and Frankie moving. I think she needs it more than he does because Wonder has traveled a lot in his racing career and Frankie hasn't gone ANYWHERE. I think it'll be good for her to move around a bit, instead of Wonder. Especially because Frankie isn't sound atm (might be an abscess). The farrier is looking at her today. 

I'm not sure how to break it to Frankie. She'll figure it out and have to come to terms with it, she just isn't going to like it! And I think she needs to learn the routine at a new place and gain exposure to other places and see the world, rather than just tag along. She needs to see more of the world and learn to be comfortable with change. I think she'll be better with it with a longer learning time.
________

UPDATE

Alright I've been VERY busy and honestly don't really have time to update but I'm SO SO excited! I officially own a freshly coming off the track thoroughbred named Wonder. He is 16.3+h (genuinely) he's tall, just under 17h. He's very sweet with me and the previous owner and that's about it. The previous owner said I'm the only person besides himself he's seen Wonder be sweet with. 

I thought the owners were blowing smoke at me when they said he's not sweet with anyone besides the previous owner and me. It's true. He nips at everyone else and seems irritated by other people but with me he's all kisses and cuddles. And his owner, I can really tell his owner has given him a lot of love and taken great care of him the last 3 years.

He might be coming to the barn tomorrow!! I'm SO excited!! Will have even more pictures then! 

But for now meet Wonder! Also not flattering shots of us but I wanted to show his personality a little bit. I'm keeping both him and Frankie! He is NOT a re-sale project. But I am working on getting a 2nd job to keep them both. I cut his mane, bridle path and tail today. He's getting a sport cut. I'm sure he's WAY better with clippers than Frankie lol. Frankie is good but when she's bad, she's BAD.

I also found out I have a subtlely southern accent. I had no idea but someone told me I sound a bit southern but I say pop, instead of soda lol.


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## frlsgirl

Yay. Congrats! That is so exciting. You are so brave to be working with an OTTB but if anyone can do it, it's definitely you. 

Sorry Frankie is still lame :/


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## PoptartShop

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!! Wonder is absolutely beautiful!  I am sucha sucker for big TB's, ESPECIALLY OTTB's. My next horse needs to be another OTTB. I love the ones with some baggage. He is really gorgeous.  Such a shiny coat, too! That is sooo sweet, sounds like he took to you already. I am so excited to hear about your adventures together. Frankie better learn to like him too LOL. :lol: Sooo exciting! I love his name too.

That's funny about the accent. I don't think I've heard anyone say pop around here on the East coast! :rofl:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Thank you Tanja. I'm sorry Frankie isn't sound too :-( but Wonder is a good boy. On one hand I'm a little nervous about when I ride him for the first time because he is a POWERHOUSE and he has some serious lift and loft but that's why he's staying at the barn. I feel safer riding Frankie on my own than I would him.
_____________

Allison- He's really been well cared for. Racehorses due to their lifestyle tend to have ulcers which he definitely has but he was really well cared for. But he's a good boy. I love him and really like him an awful lot. He's super smart and quick thinking. 

lol I'm from Oregon, so I say pop and have a mild southern accent but it depends my accent tends to change to those around me. It's not always intentional but when I was in Germany I started picking up a German accent and would catch myself doing it. I sound according to where I am and what I hear I guess lol.
_____________

I've been super-super busy. A friend of mine from when I was in the Marine Corps was visiting and everything with Wonder and working towards a 2nd job, so haven't had time to be on. I WILL respond to other threads later but atm have a laundry list of stuff I need to do for today.

Wonder is settling in well but he is going to need to be treated for gastric ulcers (not surprising, racehorse almost always have ulcers) to be honest, I figured I'd have to treat him for ulcers but that's about $500 dollars. I talked to a vet friend and she said if we give him it on an empty stomach and wait about an hour before giving him feed I can use half a tube per day for treatment purposes, so that's what I'm going to do. 

So you guys can see what Wonder moves like. He's being let down for the next month, so no riding or that kind of thing. Just letting him settle in and adjust to his drastic change in lifestyle. He about gave me heart failure the first few days because he wasn't pooping or eating much. I gave him one full tube of gastrogard on Sunday and that helped a lot. So I need to buy the full order and start going to the barn at 6 to give Wonder his Gastrogard and let it sit in his stomach for an hr before feeding.











Riding video with Raphael. Keep in mind we're working more on collected work and getting him to take more weight behind and come up through the shoulder. He is getting half steps. He wasn't as good as the previous day but oh well. It's miles past where we were a few months ago.






Raphael on lungeline





Raphael and his paper toy





Frankie is still off on her left front. I'll probably have the vet have a look at her at some point.

I have however decided that Wonder will be staying at the barn and Frankie will be moving because she has spent her whole life on the property and needs some life experience and change vs Wonder really needs consistency and I want Mari's help with bringing him into work. He's more powerful than Frankie. 

I'm riding Raphael, Leo and Dooley (18.2h GIANT) atm. Dooley is doing well but last ride I think he was muscularly sore because I ride him a lot more through and over his back then he's used to. It took a bit to get him to work inside hind to outside rein and get him working into the bridle and actually take the contact. 

Leo was AMAZING last ride. Absolutely phenomenal I wish I had video because he felt incredible!

Pictures of Wonder and Frankie. Frankie has NOT been neglected, though she is quite jealous and doesn't like it when Wonder gets attention. I was hand grazing him to calm him down and help him feel better and she started running the fence. I was like FRANKIE! You have a hurt leg! Maybe this is why!


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## Tazzie

Awww, they are adorable side by side like that! Too darn cute!!

I hear ya on being busy. I feel like I'm a million places at once, ugh! Such is life, right?!

Sorry Frankie is still off. I hope the cause can be found SOON! Need to get your girly back and working! I do think it's a good idea to have her move barns to gain life experience and keep Wonder at home. He looks like he's going to be a fun one to get working!


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## PoptartShop

They are SO darn cute! AHHH!  Raphael is so cute playing too. I love it!
So glad you had great rides. LOL Frankie is definitely jealous! :lol: I hope she will feel better soon. :sad: 

Glad Wonder is settling in well. That would've scared me too! Whew. Hope he feels better and continues to settle in nicely.  Such a handsome boy. Once Frankie is up & running, moving will be good for her. She will enjoy the new scenery and hill-work will be great. 

They are all so cute. <3


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- They are. They kinda get along but Frankie gets jealous easily. She doesn't like having to share her mom. She nipped at me after I pet him, Frankie is not a nipper or a biter. 

Oh exactly! It's exhausting. Too much to do and not enough time while constantly feeling drained and exhausted.

I hope so too. She doesn't have an abscess and is just off on that left front. Right she looks sound, left it's pretty slight but I see it. My gut feeling is it's a suspensory. But definitely! Regardless the plan is to move her and Wonder will stay at the barn. I need to move quick to try to find some place to take her. I can't afford to keep them both at the barn! It's just too darn expensive but board here is honestly INSANE. For a basic pasture board set up it's $300 a month here! Which is crazy to me because in Oregon 400 is like a nice show barn. Here $400 is cheap.
_____________

Allison- He is. He has a really cute personality. Especially on the ground. And yes she is! But Frankie actually doesn't get as jealous as Raphael. He gets SUPER jealous about Wonder. He's like MY person. He screamed at me when I was holding Wonder's head and petting him and shoved his head through the nose hole, so I could pet his nose while petting Wonder.

I was really worried about it, he's pooping and eating more. Definitely has ulcers and I NEED to order some gastrogard, it's just SO expensive and I have a lot of expenses atm. I'm starting to think I was insane buying a 2nd horse but I don't regret it. I feel like it was the right thing to do, just have to tighten my belt and get a 2nd job to pay for it all.

Definitely. I really want to do more hacking around on Miss Frankie. I suspect she has a suspensory though but haven't had the vet to ultrasound yet because it's a couple hundred dollars to do that and I need to buy Wonder his grastrogard which will be just under $500 for a treatment dose.
_____________

Update

Still super busy and honestly exhausted. Just thoroughly exhausted. Still have a lot to do lol that will leave alone.

Rode Raphael who I think we're having saddle fit issues again. I'm so frustrated with trying to find something he's happy with. He's very hard to ride. He's gotten SO SO much better and I can work him through stuff but sometimes it's just frustrating. He doesn't really track up no matter what gear he's in. I don't think he will but he can engage his hind legs and sit quite well. His muscular is changing. he's developing that triangle at the base of the neck horses develop when they start doing more collected work and his posture has changed. In general he's just tricky to ride and sometimes it makes me want to rip my hair out because I have to ride my @ss off every ride and most of the time it's just to get kinda okay. Oh well. That's how it is when working with young/green horses, it's a process and a lot of the times it's not great but you teach them as they mature and they teach you. Lots of teaching. I cannot stretch him, even for the slightest stretch he will try to kick me in the head, so I don't bother. He can be tight, I don't get paid enough to get kicked in the head. I've gotten after him for it, corrected the behavior multiple times and honestly it's just not worth it. He can be tight.

Had to ride my butt off on Dooley. I think he's sore and stiff (he's 21 and 18.2h, had a hard work life). We had a good ride where his canter felt BY FAR the best if ever has. By far the most rhythmical, up, through, and correct he's been. He is really hard to ride. He's not at all naughty, he's VERY forward but getting him to properly take the contact, come off his back and engage his hinds legs and come up through his topline in laterals is tough. It takes a lot of riding and that's why I ride him in spurs, so I don't have to be so insistent that he properly BEND around my leg and connect to the outside rein and ENGAGES his back. Left lead canter to start with when I'd get him to engage his back he'd try to swap leads to avoid coming over his back. I had to be quite insistent and make him keep his lead and LET me ride him. He tries to out guess me, so a few times I've had to turn him into the wall, so he doesn't run off with me or not listen (he was a lesson horse), so he will try to outguess the rider and not listen and gets very defensive when he has to work hard. I also did his mane (it was CRAZY long). He kept wanting to break when I'd do canter shoulder in, did quite a bit of renvers to get his to engage his back and use himself correctly. Also leg yield in the canter. Interestingly Dooley finds leg yield harder than half pass. Did some stretches with Dooley as well. He definitely started to feel better towards the end of the ride and loosened up. Surprisingly he worked harder than me which NEVER happens. 

Leo was pretty stiff yesterday, I think because he was turned out in a new field and kinda had a gallop. His fetlocks were a bit swollen, so we had a very light ride of just getting him warmed up and a bit more supple, relaxed and elastic and I hopped off and put some lineament on his legs and stretches.

Spent time with Frankie and Wonder. My trainer thought I had ridden Wonder because he had saddle marks? Which honestly I don't know how because I haven't even set a saddle on his back, lunged him or anything else. He needs to come down from the track. He's still wired. I'm not riding him for at least a month. He needs time to just be a horse and adjust to his new lifestyle. 

I'm also sad because my friend has gone back to DC :-( I miss him already. I feel silly. I hate those pesky emotions where you really like someone and are too afraid to tell them because you fear ruining such a strong friendship, humiliating yourself or pushing them away. He's genuinely just a great person, super smart, all my animals like him and friends. Some were very excited by how much he knows about computers. But what will be, will be.


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## frlsgirl

Wonder is stunning. Raphael says "I don't wanna go and you can't make me!" wow, he's really testing you, isn't he? I was talking to my trainer about this yesterday; yes things like saddle fit, and all the other stuff is important and can make the horse uncomfortable but generally speaking the horse must respect your leg, even if it's sore or itchy or uncomfortable somewhere. Sure we can increase their range of motion and comfort level with saddle fit, sitting better, using different pads, and ergonomic bridles and only ride in special footing but those things don't solve basic issues like not respecting the leg or aids in general, so good for you for riding him through that.

About your friend, I had a male BFF, everyone thought we would get married one day but it was purely platonic; we did agree that if we were still single at 30 that we would get married, but things never work out like they do in movies. I did meet up with him years later and he had totally changed, or maybe I had changed but we couldn't even stand to be around each other; it was really weird. Glad you had a good time with your friend, hopefully you can get past that weird awkward phase; it's so uncomfortable. Made me think of Sheldon:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I entirely agree with your trainer. There is a point where you do all you can to make them comfortable and just have to ride through it and quit making excuses for them. I'm definitely at that point with Raphael because he's just difficult to work with. He can be good then he can flip a switch and ANYTHING and EVERYTHING is met with utter belligerence for no reason other than to test the waters and be ornery. 

It's funny how things like that happen. This friend and I aren't going to be anything other than friends and honestly at the stage of our lives we're in there really isn't space for it. Mid-late twenties is sort of a rough space and I don't think it gets better but changes. But really it's the finishing school, trying to put together savings, make ends meet and really prioritizing the important stuff over the extra cherry on top parts. 
______________

Raphael is just difficult in general. Yesterday he was being a total @ss, I would put my inside leg on left and he would refuse to move over, threaten to rear and slam on the brakes. I worked through it a bit, then got fed up, stuck him on the lunge line and basically lunged the [email protected] out of him and made him work 10 times harder than I would have asked from him. He was dripping in sweat because that's how long it took to get him basically compliant and LISTENING, not over reactive or belligerent. Making him listen and getting after him whenever he kicked out and made him bend left and around his rib cage. Then got back on and he was great. He is VERY testy and it's frustrating because in all honesty we need to find him a new home and be able to sell him and put someone else on him. As he is right now I don't feel safe putting someone else on him. And exactly! The saddle fit isnt' perfect but it's not terrible and he just has to get over it. Still frustrating because honestly he has some great movement in there but he is hard to ride. He's hard to truly get in the contact and working over his back at all. Yesterday he had some AMAZING trot work and I got it undersaddle after lunging but the truth is, for the market and area other riders, unless they're Mari or Pam aren't going to get that from him. Getting him to come over his back and properly take contact, to get him there you really have to know what you're doing and some days it's still a challenge. I will bridge my reins fairly often and lots of laterals. I have ridden him on a 3 loop serpentine one handed before and done figures of 8 one handed with him reaching into the contact and bending properly around the aids but it's HARD to get him there. I do it with him sometimes because he's honestly just tricky. A lot like Dante was but different evasions but a similar ride. Dante was just a LOT hotter blooded than Raphael. Raphael is MUCH more in front of the leg than he used to be and less spooky than Dante but more belligerent. As in if he doesn't want to go through a spot he will try to spin around and take off and I have to stop him and make him go through it and be very tactful so he doesn't try to balk, rear or spin around. 

**** I get compared to Sheldon an awful lot, I'm just a bit less obnoxious lol. But that's hilarious and with the friend, it's not going to work out and that's okay. I was sad about it yesterday but today I'm thinking you know this is probably for the best. I don't have time for attachments or any of that. I don't have the emotional energy for it either. It's too draining. I don't particularly want to be alone forever but I have so much going on in my life, I honestly don't think there is room for much else. 

Wonder is eating a lot better and finishing his meals. I'm waiting on the gastrogard from a vet friend who is going to get it for me, since it's a prescription product but my vet apparently knows people who compound gastrogard so I'm talking to him about that product and seeing if it works as well and if I can get that for Wonder instead. It should be the same thing and gastrogard is the ONLY product that is proven to work and allow horses to utilize the main ingredients. I hate it when they have so many patents on horse medications that make them necessary and SUPER expensive.

And GREAT news FRANKIE IS SOUND!!! I lunged her yesterday and she looked good. Have a lesson with her on Friday. I told Mari she'll be the one moving once I find a place because Wonder needs some place consistent to settle in and Frankie needs to travel and gain exposure to different places. Did not ride Leo or Dooley yesterday. Leo was so stiff yesterday I figured he needs to have some time to rest and Dooley was used in a lesson.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I've been quite busy.

Dooley was very difficult to ride. I think he's just feeling sore and stiff, so he had a light work out. Took an awful lot to ride and try to organize but couldn't get him to supple entirely. He was just too stiff and when I'd get him there and truly through he'd take off which if you'd been ran off with with an 18.2h horses it's a LOT to be ran off with, so I got him working well long and low and got off. Was on maybe 25min then soaked him in magnesium salt.

Leo and Dooley I do not consider schoolmasters. Leo you have to EARN everything you get and really make him do it or else he won't. He won't do it unless you really ride it. Same with Dooley. Dooley is not a 3rd level schoolmaster, he's a schoolmaster but not in dressage. You have to really ride him to get anything and work your butt off for everything you get and it makes him a great teacher but neither would be a good fit for someone learning to ride 3rd level.

Also rode a 3rd level schoolmaster named Calibre who was incredible. I cleaned his sheath which had a HUGE bean and to me it's the reason WHY we clean sheaths. Yeah it's gross. Yeah it's not fun but for THEIR comfort. The bean was the size of 3 plastic bottle caps, I can't even imagine how uncomfortable he was. I felt so bad for him. But he was wonderful to ride. SUPER honest. He's weak behind and needs work to strengthen his topline but he's going to be dead easy once he's stronger. He's also SUPER bouncy. To post WAY bouncier than Dante was, to sit not nearly as bad. Posting Dante isn't bad, sitting is intense. It's curious how a horse who is SO bouncy posting isn't that bouncy but still bouncy sitting vs a horse not bouncy posting can be so bouncy sitting.

Leo is still stiff. I gave him yesterday off because I rode 4 horses and still had to do something with Wonder and hadn't eaten in quite a while. 

Rode Frankie yesterday and she was really good. I was much sharper and firmer with her which she responded well to. She much prefers the firmer and sharper handling to me being more of an "ask" and see type of rider. 

Also rode Raphael and he was pretty good. Some broncing at canter but rode through it and he was good. He's growing up. Still have a ways to go but attitude adjustment is in progress. Still working on getting him to where I feel safe putting other riders on. We're getting closer, just not there yet.

Wonder is walking in tack and doing some in hand work, we're also hand grazing him in tack so he doesn't associate tack with stress. At the track they put on tack, they head to the track. Now he's learning that tack equals relaxation and suppleness. 

Also pictures of Wonder and Frankie. Frankie is SO fat. I keep asking for her grain and hay to be cut but for whatever reason the BO likes horses obese :icon_frown: and it makes me SO mad because it's SO bad for them and SO hard on their joints, especially when they're growing. She also wears a grazing muzzle when on grass. The vet has tried talking to her but she listens to the feed representative and not the vet but whatever. Frankie should be going to a different barn soon which is a morgan barn and will be great exposure for her. They have carriage and all kinds of things to expose Frankie to. Plus it's a clean barn. The indoor arena is really small but plenty of outdoor areas to ride and we can hack safely up and down the roads which is what Frankie needs. 

Wonder is also doing really well. He's settled in quite well and is eating better and pooping. He's also started gastric treatment and gets his medicine in the morning and it sits in an empty stomach and sits for an hour before he gets his hay and grain. Allows the treatment to work better. He definitely has ulcers. I put tack on him yesterday and was SUPER sensitive with the girth being slowly tightened. Mari said we should be able to start riding him next week, so will be taking lessons on Wonder soon. I'm so excited to ride him. I've bought two horses I had never ridden until after I bought them lol. So right now is tacking, hand grazing, in hand work and in a few days to begin lunging with the reins under the stirrups so if he's uncomfortable with pressure he can escape, rather than go up then will introduce each rein to him so he learns to take it.

I'm also looking for a new bit for him this one is WAY too big it's a 5 3/4s and looks like the bit it pulled tight in the photos but it's just a way too big bit and so will be getting him a new one.


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## Tazzie

They both look great! Shame the BO won't cut back her grain :/ ours tweaks the diet whenever I ask (not often). It really is a shame they won't do it. Being fat isn't a good thing. Yay for Wonder settling in so fast! I'm glad he has! I can't wait to hear how the retraining goes!

And they sound tough! I'm glad you've been having good rides though! And yay for Frankie being SOUND and happy!! I hope her move goes well! Sounds like a good barn for exposure, particularly the carts/carriages. It can be handy having them ok with those!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- I know :/ vet has tried talking to her about the food because there are SO many obese/overweight horses. Raphael is SO fat. He's like a 7! And needs to lose weight. All the babies, except for Dev and Friday are SUPER fat atm. It's just not healthy. Just more weight on their joints. Hopefully she'll drop weight at the new barn because atm she looks like she's about to foal.

But thank you! I'm super excited about the next stages with both Wonder and Frankie. Frankie will get to hack out and just be a horse, riding in open fields and experiencing that rather than a training environment she's not ready for. I told Mari she just needs to be a horse and Mari agreed. She could do the 4yr old FEI test no problem but to me what's the point in pressing it when the end goal is PSG-I1? I don't care about the FEI young horse stuff so much as her being happy, healthy and with the desire to keep going. A lot of the FEI young horse champions never make it to the upper levels.
___________

Alright update. I am going to try to get to the other journals tomorrow. Been on the go most of the day. 

My favorite food is apple pie alamode. I absolutely love it! I'll even go through the stomach cramping and pains with the gluten crust. I LOVE apple pie lol.

Just note with Leo. His right hind is his weaker one and he is much harder to ride to the right than the left, especially in the canter. His canter is hard to ride in general but he's a good boy! The right hind he had a suspensory injury on and was off for 18 months, took me a long time to rehab him. Also note he had his check ligament cut left front. I love this horse, as a rider you absolutely have to work for absolutely every thing you get but he will give an awful lot if you're fair to him. You CANNOT make this horse do anything, you CANNOT take-take-take or he will just quit and get defensive but if you're fair and allow and encourage and ask he will work his heart out for you. It's a longer process but a better one and keeps this horse happy! There is a reason quite a few people cannot ride this horse. He goes really well for me, we suit each other really well but I'll say before I started working with him. I was honestly a little scared/nervous to ride him because I'd seen other people on him and seen how he can be. A certain canadian olympic rider was scared of this horse. And if a AA gets on and takes a lesson on him he's pretty good to putz around or do a training level test but more than that is tricky with him. 

His lateral work yesterday was much better, today I had to really fight and work for what I got, same with changes. He's hard to get a good change on. He's not bad but he really doesn't want to do it, so you have to be like Leo change! 

My sister is the one making noises lol. She's as eccentric as I am but without the aspergers.






also changes practice










He's taught me an awful lot and I'm very grateful to get to ride him. He's a very special horse and I love him to bits. A few of the boarders saw me riding him and were like maybe you need to show him and get your bronze medal. Can't afford shows :lol: bought a 2nd horse.

Wonder also lunged yesterday for the first time, then lunged in side reins today and did really well. He is not going perfectly. He's learning what bit aids mean and how to use his body. He has to completely re-learn how to use his body and come over his topline and canter. He's not going perfectly but he's doing great for where he is. He figured out the lunge line for the most part. Still have to trot with him and send him out. He's SUPER smart. He figures things out really quickly. Show him once and he has it with a gold standard work ethic. He is hot. He is definitely a hot horse but a good soul and very reasonable. He is over reactive and hyper sensitive but he's going to be a perfect fit for me because to me he has the perfect brain and that's the kind of horse I like. He tends to stress himself out a lot but has gotten a lot better. It's a process. He's quick thinking and gets carried away sometimes. He can now stand still and not sweat from nervous energy. 

Also in the side rein video he's moving much slower to help him get more swing over his back and take contact. Too quick and they stop using their back. It's a total re-training process and he has to learn how to move coming over his back. Mechanics and understanding over "flash" and "impressive" gaits.











Frankie was also really good yesterday. We went for a hack out in the fields and she LOVED it. She should be moving tomorrow and get to hack a lot more. I'm hoping to find some open fields to go for a gallop in. I wish I still has cross country saddle but sold it and can't afford another saddle just to play in. But this is going to be so good for her. Hacking out on roads and tracks.

Raphael was lunged today because it helps SO much with his attitude. Our lunging sessions are WAY more difficult than riding. I ask a lot more of him but it's really helping with his attitude and getting him to LISTEN. He needs to be amateur friendly.


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## frlsgirl

Wow. Wonder in Dressage tack looks like Dressage Royalty! He is such a looker.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- thank you. He's a good boy. He is very high strung but a good boy. He's sweet at can be as well. But definitely hot and I usually don't think of tbs as being THAT hot. He's not naughty, just so quick.
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Update

Frankie moved barn. It's a good move for her to grow up! I hopped on her today in the outdoor and walk, trot, canter both directions and she was SUPER than hacked her around the property with a filly calling her and she nickered back but did nothing stupid or dangerous. I rode without a whip and just got her listening to me and she was super. Nothing complicated. It's a very nice property. I like it a lot for her. She's going to learn and grow up a lot! It's actually a morgan barn so they have carts and carriages and all kinds of things that are going to be great for her. I desensitized her with a hula hoop earlier. Was very patient then could put it around her neck and walk around. I was SO proud of her. She got lots of loving and pets. She's a good girl! So glad I moved her, she needed it and the property has so many areas to hack out to and fields to ride in. I two pointed in canter and let her gallop a bit for the first time! She was great! Went up and down hills, down a gravel road. She was perfect!

Wonder's update. Didn't ride him today on account that he lost his marbles with the mounting block. I was really surprised because on the ground with the one in the wash rack I can get on it and put it anywhere around him and he doesn't bat an eye. Aunt Mari had some on one time with him, NOTHING rough. Lots of cookies and just teaching him some manners. Different horse when he's scared. We think at some point (not the previous owner) but before that someone roughed this horse up because he went from 0 to 100 flight/fear pretty fast. I'm not shocked or upset, I'm glad we had this happen so we KNOW more about him and can do more homework with him to make him as confident, relaxed, and happy of a horse as we can make him. He did show off his paces though. We were impressed lol.

Wonder will not be on night turnout until he finished the 30 days of compressed gastric supplement (gastroguard cost made me sick, so asked my vet for an alternative that works). It's more effective when given on an empty stomach, so he's turned out during the day and it's fading his black coat but more important that we treat his ulcers completely and thoroughly first. 

He's on all the same supplements as Frankie as well and that magRestore made a world of difference with Frankie. A crazy amount, it's hard to believe! 

I feel like I've been super busy with all the horses. Pulled tons of ticks off of Raphael. Leo had 2 days off because I've been on the go so much. Need to get Friday going again.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Overall I'm just EXHAUSTED. I didn't even work that many horses today, just 4 but I'm wiped out. Should be starting 2nd job soon and will be even more tired with less free time. Hoping to have time to eat and shower and cuddle with my animals and horses.

I saw Frankie and she was so happy to see me when I came. I think the new barn has been too quiet for her. She seemed bored. She screamed when she heard my voice and when I left. I felt SO bad when I had to leave her. It's been raining and with the fireworks she hasn't gotten to go out. I lunged her so she could move her legs but I felt SO bad leaving her. She seemed so bored. We lunged in the indoor arena which is quite small unfortunately but only place to work her in the weather. and she had a wake up call. She had to engage her hind end and LISTEN to me and not be lazy about her shoulders or hind end or she'd lose her footing and not be able to make the turns. She's such a big, powerful mover I think she was a little surprised. Then I lunged her over a small jump (18in) and she seemed to enjoy that. Trying to switch up her routine a bit. I let her graze for a bit and groomed her. I felt SO bad when I had to go because she was calling to me. I wish I could just set up a hammock next to her stall and keep her company, she seemed sad not to be out or lonely. I don't know how to explain it. I felt so bad but it makes sense because she's never left home before. She's spent 4 years without going anywhere or any change of scenery, so I imagine it's a shock for her. Tough love is hard to give sometimes because I KNOW this is important for her development but I feel so bad. She made a horse friend who calls to her and Frankie is definitely maturing/growing up. I told her it's for a month, then I'd like her to go to Mari's for a month then back home. They also have 6 cats and they're all SUPER friendly, so couldn't avoid cat cuddles. One is 19 and a total sweetheart. 

Wonder is over his mounting block fear or so it seems. I was able to hold him, step up and down the block and jump on it and pat him etc. I was SO proud of him. Still working through some of his fear reactions and helping him gain confidence in humans and himself. He's a hot horse. He lathers in sweat even when he's not worked very hard. Poor guy but he loves being hosed down and drinking from the hose. Lots of confidence building. His issue is he fears humans and our movements, I think at some point in his life someone beat him unfairly and now he's a bit traumatized. I don't think the previous owner but someone, so I'm working through that with reassurance and cookies and showing him what I want. He tore away from Mari yesterday, she couldn't keep hold of him a few times, so we're coming along. Mari wasn't mean to him either. He just gets scared and tries to flee which he's learning isn't and okay reaction. Instead of backing up and running, he has to come to the handler but not climb on top of the handler or be rude. I also jumped up and down next to him with my helmet on and put pressure and weight on the saddle (didn't get on) just working on desensitization and building confidence. He's figuring out lunging better and contact and how to give to pressure, etc and it's definitely helping with his confidence in humans. It's a process. He's learning how to use his back and relax his under neck muscle. He naturally pushes off his hind end very well. I'm looking forward to him having all 4 shoes, he just has fronts atm. I think that will help him. Long road ahead but worth it. I love developing horses. He also needs to see the chiropractor and I hope he'll be able to be seen soon. I think I just really enjoy producing my own horses and honestly just enjoy working with them. 

Leo was pretty good. We worked more on improving strength and expression today, so mostly posting trot, some sitting to improve quality but posting to encourage scope, lift and stride then sitting for collection, cadence and communication. Canter is improving. Canter right is still not as strong. I think his right hind might be bothering him. That's the one he had the suspensory on. He is somewhat guarded with it when you ride, always has been but Im not sure what I can do for him. He moves much more even with work but always warms up a little irregular and stiff. Slow warm up with two point, figures of 8, low frame, etc. So the ride was overall productive and went well. Could have been better, would love lessons on Leo but can't afford them atm. 

Raphael was a mixture. On one hand he was AMAZING. His gaits felt impressive, he felt so powerful and so much more through and coming up, taking the contact more and then he'd throw hissy fits like flat out refused to go forward or do anything so I had to ride him like a reiner and do a spin to get his legs moving. His reason for refusing to move was because I asked him to. He does that sometimes where nothing is bothering him, everything is fine but you asked me to so I will see what happens if I flat out refuse, so we did spins. I also had to boot him a few time with both spurs just so he doesn't think he can just quit whenever he wants to. Also had a bucking fit with some hard bucks and bronc moments which were not pleasant and actually hurt my back. He also bolted for a moment because of a loud noise which on one hand we had some incredible moments, on the other he was quite naughty and testy. Honestly I think he's harder to work with than Dante. Dante was OPINIONATED but not nearly as obstinate. Dante could be but with him it was more he was just super sensitive and could get so hot and he mentally didn't want to do it but Raphael is just a butt. I've known other horses from Raphael's sire who are nothing but pleasant AA friendly but Raphael is out of a Magnum Psyche mare (Arabian). He's just so testy.

So lots of running around. Also had to treat Wonder's legs because the bell boots had cut his pasterns. So ONLY neoprene or felt lined bell boots or they rub his skin :-( poor guy. At least the compacted ulcer treatment is working. It's already made a huge difference. He's putting on weight and cleaning up his meals, he seems a lot more comfortable already. Going to finish the treatment and hopefully that will be all with the gastro intestinal stuff *crossed fingers* plus turnout and the medicine being given on an empty stomach makes a big difference. He was very cuddly though. He's so sweet. I could just rest my head on his forehead and hold his head for hours if I had the time. He loves it and starts to fall asleep.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Another night of not getting home until after 11. It's entirely my fault. I just love being with the horses.

Wonder has made TONS of progress in the last two days. He retains everything he's taught the previous day and by the following day does everything he learned the previous day and more. He's a smart cookie. On Tuesday we couldn't get on the mounting block without a meltdown and pulling away, now I can step up and down the mounting block and jump on it and Wonder doesnt care. I can also take polls off the wall and place them or put them back on the wall and Wonder is perfect. 

I'm keeping record of Wonder's progress because it's interesting to me and it also gives me something to study and examine on how long does it take to re-train a horse? And Wonder is special because he is a great horse to begin with.

4th time lunging after being on the track










5th time lunging





He is black the sun has faded him a TON because atm he has to go out in the morning because he needs to take his ulcer medicine on an empty stomach because it's more effective that way. He's also started on purina outlast https://www.purinamills.com/horse-feed/products/detail/purina-outlast-gastric-support-supplement
I'm super impressed with it. He's cleaning up his hay and his eyes are already brighter and he just seems more comfortable in his body. I'm amazed! I have him on outlast during treatment because I really don't want to have to treat him over again. It's expensive! But this supplement is very affordable. https://www.purinamills.com/2.purinamills.com/media/Images/Products/Outlast-Sell-Sheet.pdf?ext=.pdf

He was stretched and got a full body massage today which he LOVED. Licking and chewing and relaxing. He loved it! 2 weeks off the track tomorrow! He got all 4 shoes with regular shoes. I'm going to frame a pictures with a win photo with his old aluminum shoes. Slowly changing his angles. Race horses tend to be a little longer in the toe and he didn't have back shoes on so he wore down his foot a bit. He really needs to see the chiropractor. I think he's stuck in his pelvis and rib cage. His neck as well because he has full range of motion left but right he's just a little stuck.

He is not going to be an eventer. I've been asked a few times in person because of his one ugly leg and he's pretty tied in behind the knee. Plus he has long cannon bones and really IMO he's not built to event. My old tb was event horse all around but this guy is built for dressage. He's too uphill for an eventer and pushes too much off the hind end. It's pretty but wasted energy for a proper gallop. There is a reason event horses do not move like dressage horses lol. Plus he doesn't like cavaletti. He's like no, please. We don't need to walk over cavaletti. He doesn't like it. He also has very long cannon bones. Not an eventer. He's also a little toed out in front (moves straight in front) so no issues in dressage but he's just not built to event lol. Pelvis and hip isn't for jumping. It's not to say he can't jump or do some low level cross country but to me he's just not built like what you'd want in an event horse. I see him move and think not an eventer. His hind end, the way he moves off of it is too much from behind for eventing but exactly what you want for dressage. I'll write about conformation later in the dressage horse vs the jumper or eventer. They're all a little different in what faults are okay or not okay and what attributes are desired, etc. 

Frankie LOVES hacking. She was AMAZING yesterday. We hacked for our warm up then went into the outdoor arena. I rode in the indoor first to make sure she wasn't too firey. She was firey lol but apparently she knows shoulder in. I was like huh how about that. Go Frankie. Just position, little suppling inside, inside leg to outside rein. Easy peasy. She was AMAZING! I have not been riding her with a whip. She is so forward and goey. I breathed wrong and she took off galloping lol it was a true tb style gallop. She's very forward, uphill and just so powerful but still supple and sensitive and really listens. She listens to a breath, it's lovely. I just love her. She's my favorite horse to ride, honestly of everything I've ridden all 3 of her gaits feels the most amazing IMO. They're like floating on a cloud but with a lot of power and a hint of adrenaline. I do get an adrenaline rush riding her because she's pretty hot but at the same time is supple, elastic and listens. It's exactly what I like to ride.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad Wonder is doing so well! He sounds so smart! Just a lovely guy  I can see what you mean with his hips/pelvis. When he first started cantering my first thought was that he needed to see the chiro. He moves like Izzie does when she needs to be seen. Hopefully he can be fixed soon!

I'm super glad Frankie is doing so well at her new place. That's really good. I'm sure it's made it easier that she's settled in well. She sure sounds like a fun horse! I love the selfies too


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## frlsgirl

Wonder is seriously adorable. You can tell he wants to do well in his new role as a Dressage horse but sometimes his body doesn't want to quite cooperate yet. You are so lucky to have found him!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- Definitely! I plan to give the chiropractor a call tomorrow and see when he can come out and see Mister Wonder. I don't think he's ever been done before. Racehorses usually aren't adjusted.

Frankie isnt' finishing her meals (Grain) but downs her hay. So she hasnt been eating her supplements :-/ so I have to give the powder to her orally daily. She's so picky. She loves the hacking for sure though I feel like she feels out of place and hasn't really made friends yet. I think she feels isolated and lonely.
______________

Tanja- Thank you Tanja! I love him. I think he's going to be really special. I keep telling everyone half jokingly that he's going to be my GP horse. He piaffes lol and Mari said well he piaffes and I said well I guess he's going to be a GP horse lol. I love him. He trusts me. For me when I handle and work with him he's pretty at ease and calm but the moment someone else handles him he turns into a ball of tension and anxiety. I've never seen that before. He loves me. He's all kisses and cuddles.
______________

I am SO tired. I've been sending 10hr days at the barn the last few days. Just constantly on the go. So many horses to keep going and I'm my own groom lol. It's exhausting. 

Frankie






Frankie hacking






Frankie LOVES hacking. I'm actually thinking about doing some low level eventing with her eventually. She's still too young for serious jumping but I'm looking at doing more poll, cavaletti, small jump work with her and maybe taking lessons of that kind. I want to keep her fresh and having fun. I don't want each day to be tedious but something she enjoys doing. I lunged her over a 2ft jump today and she LOVED it. She has good form and is very brave. She also has a true gallop. A lot of warmbloods don't have a real gallop but Frankie definitely gallops like a thoroughbred. It's lovely. Yes we've done small bits of galloping. Frankie LOVES it. 

**** I've been telling people my tb is going to be my GP dressage horse and my wb is going to be my eventer lol. Not really but my gut feeling is Frankie just needs to go out and have fun, not sit in a school. Baby horses, especially ones as green as Frankie learn a heck of a lot out in the field. She's very brave and interested in everything. She's very curious, we do have some spontaneous outbursts that result in short gallops but nothing scary. She keeps her footing and isnt out of control, just happy and I won't punish her for that.

However she hasn't been eating her supplements, so I'm putting her magnesium powder in a tube and giving it to her in her mouth directly because the difference is APPARENT when she isn't taking it. It becomes SO hard just to STEER and get her to bend left. Left is hard for her and keeping her haunches from falling out. We're still doing some dressage but more like 15 minutes get the parts she needs, touch on new concept and expand, get her going well and move onto trotting roads and walking around.

I also got to ride Wonder for the first time today! I found out he's okay with me at the mounting block and handling him but he loses his marbles if someone else handles him. SO I got a leg up and sat on him walking around. He was perfect in the contact. He is light but you can still feel him in your hand and he's even in both reins. He also can leg yield which Mari credits to the work I've done with him. I'm SO proud of him. He's a smart cookie and he's definitely bonded to me. I think that's why I like the high anxiety, hot horses. They really bond to their person and for their person they will try their hearts out. They really trust and work for one person or a few, it's a really strong emotional bond.

Frankie got away from me today. The water from the hose hit the building and she pulled loose. I caught her pretty quickly though. Thankfully I ALWAYS have treats on me. And I guarded the exit and she came right to me, so I gave her cookies and tons of praise for being a good girl and not running away. Very short lived.

Overall I'm in a lot of pain and I'm exhausted!

Also great article

http://www.horsemagazine.com/thm/2016/05/carl-hester-teaching-eventers-dressage/


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## Tazzie

Maybe try the pellets? I know it's more expensive, but that's what we get. Izzie thinks powder is poison, so we can't use it. Could be an option maybe? Hopefully she starts cleaning up again! Silly girl!

She does look good! And glad she's enjoying the hacking! It really is good for them  low level eventing with her sounds fun too!

Awww, yay for riding Wonder! He's so smart! He's going to be a SUPER fast learner! How exciting


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- I've been giving it to her in a syringe with water mixed in :lol: she hates it but I don't feel bad because she's been a bit of a brat. I can't really afford the price difference splitting it between two horses. It seems to make a big difference in them both. I don't think she likes purina products lol. She's SUPER picky but she's doing better with her grain. 

She loves hacking. A big thing as well is, I'll spend 10-15min doing dressage work with her then move on because that's about all she has the attention span for and I don't want to burn her out. She doesn't love it but will do it. I think an issue is she has such huge paces and such a strong hind end it's a lot of work for her. I think hacking and doing some basic jump training (not really over fences or a course but the basics to a course with polls and cavaletti and maybe small cross rails to keep her mind on other things and to teach her what she needs to know without boring her.

He is. He's VERY smart and coming along quickly. I'm amazed. I honestly didn't think I'd be riding him for 30 days. He's calmed down a LOT from when he first came, he isn't the same tense, anxious horse. He's becoming pretty chill and cool.
___________________

Update

Started 2nd job today and it's going well. I'm incredibly tired and exhausted. 

I rode Wonder at the walk and out on my own. He was great! Walked around, changed directions, some leg yield, circles to change direction, etc. There were loud noises and "scary" stuff but Wonder wasn't phased. He'd look or he'd be interested but no tension, anxiety or nervousness. Just huh what was that? I CANT believe how far he's come in a week! Last week he tore away from my trainer twice, we couldn't get him near a mounting block, he was scared of a lead rope and taking off like he lost his marbles to a calm, cool and confident guy. I can jump on the mounting block, mount from the mounting block. And walk with all kinds of stuff going on and Wonder isn't phased. Even Mari was surprised. She said she was worried when he tore off from her twice but now she's really impressed with how far he's come in so short a period of time. I told her this is going to be my GP horse and she thinks I'm crazy but I'm telling you this is going to be my GP horse.

I'm pretty impressed he's still really weak behind (racehorse pull on their front and don't really push from behind or use their back like in dressage) but he's coming along. When I let him lunge left he started developing a lot of swing and suspension. I think he's going to be really bouncy to sit some day but man if I can improve on these gaits and maintain them as he progresses up the levels. Wow. He can piaffe. I think he can load behind and I think he has the brain. He likes to learn and is kinda of that personality of what's next? Then you let him sit on it for a few hours or a day and he comes out remembering everything you just taught him. Very smart. I question whether or not Frankie will go up that far, not because of talent. She is nicer than Wonder but temperament and mind. It's WAY too hard to say because Wonder is 7 and Frankie is 4 but we'll see. 






Also gave him wormer, he was perfect. He's good for shots (when I was giving him ace the first week). He's just a good boy. I'm SO proud of him. I think treating his ulcers off the bat, putting him on magnesium, super sport and all that stuff plus outlast (raises ph level of the stomach) has made a world of difference. I may end up buying purina ultium outlast for him instead for cost effectiveness long term. He's just a happy, sweet guy. The plan is to make the lunging the real work and for conditioning then keep riding happy, stress free and as pleasant as possible for him but he likes to work. If it gets hard he tries harder but without losing his mind. 

I rode Frankie today she was good. We had some AMAZING canter and did some circles, steering atm is very hard to keep that big, uphill canter relatively balanced and steer her with it. I think that's a big part of her problem is she has SO much power and movement it's so hard for her to maintain with all that power, so short durations and moving on. That's part of why she's at a different barn, she needs to get out and just be a horse and hack out. Drilling and trying to campaign her would be a mistake and shut her down. If Dante taught me anything it's that the horse's desire to do it matters above all else. Talent doesn't matter if they can't stay sound doing it and don't want to do it.

Frankie and Wonder with his grain (he gets 3 grain meals a day and 4 hay meals a day) and Wonder's ugly leg. He's had it for 3 years and it's never bothered him. It's superficial but no plans to event this guy. Might do a little low level jumping but he's not an event horse lol. His whole demeanor has really softened.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I hacked Frankie today bareback with a saddleseat morgan which was really fun and good for Frankie. Frankie LOVED it! We'd never been there before and I had never ridden Frankie bareback before (I used a bareback pad but not mine, a different one to protect her back). She was great. She LOVES seeing new things. She spooked a few time but came back quickly. 

Then I rode a cute little 3yr old morgan, she was really good. She's super cute, pretty green but sweet. She got a little mad at me when I told her to move her left shoulder and bend through her rib cage but she was a good girl. 

Then I rode Raphael who was surprisingly very good. First good ride on him in a while. We had a very basic ride where I just wanted to make it fun for him. We didn't focus on anything, just walk, trot, canter and he was on the bit but it was just a happy ride for him and kinda playing around with no objective which he enjoyed.

Then I lunged Wonder and he was great! He learns things SO quickly! He's really starting to swing and use his back. It gets better every day. He's still so weak behind it's hard to know for sure what he'll become but I like him an awful lot. He's as sweet as they come.

This is the bit I'm going to be buying him when I have more money in the bank. This one or the 12mm, I don't know but he likes this bit and I like that the neue schule sit a little lower than the herm sprenger dynamic RS (Frankie's bit). He doesn't have a large mouth either so a 12mm may be more comfortable for him than a 16mm. They don't make a 14mm in this bit :-/ 

Team Up

Overall I'm exhausted and VERY sore. The weather is KILLING me lol. It was 95 with a heat index in the 100s. Horses are under fans and worked in the am!


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## Tazzie

Sorry Frankie is being a bit of a butt! But I understand. She's just going to have to get over being a diva (or at least just give in).

I'm glad you've had good rides on her though! Yay for bareback riding! I'm sure the Morgan was a lot of fun!

Wonder looks wonderful! I'm sure he's just going to be better and better when he learns to use himself! And the bit looks good. I keep eyeing one from NS for Izzie, but I can't figure out which one I'd want to try.


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## frlsgirl

Yay, glad you got to ride a Morgan, different huh? Sounds like great exposure training for Frankie as well. I like the Team Up bit; I can't remember if it was that one or the Verbinden bit I used on Ana for a while. Ana hates everything that restrains her in any way so I gave up trying to find the perfect bit for her because it doesn't exist. She seems to at least tolerate the Myler bit; but when we go on big trail rides where I need more breaking power I go back to the KK Ultra. I enjoy seeing Wonder updates on FB and Instagram; he is just so full of life.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- I think Frankie was such a butt because she was off her magnesium. I can tell a BIG difference between when she has it and when she doesn't. At the moment I am syringing it into her mouth everyday because she won't eat it in her food. 

The morgan was really sweet. I like babies. She's small (about 15h) but she has a big stride. 

I can't say with NS. I know the turtle top isnt dressage legal but I like the team up for a solid, basic good bit. It's my NS go to lol like the kk ultra is my go to for herm sprenger. They're both good, just different. 

But with Wonder. I'm very excited. His brain is the best part. Super smart and the more we ask of him the happier, more relaxed and confident he becomes. He loves to think. 
_____________

Tanja- yep. Frankie is at a morgan barn. I like them. The 3yr old is super sweet. She's little, about 15h and narrow but sweet. 

I could see Ana hating the verbinden. The team up is so similar to the kk ultra. 

Frankie's been really good. I think working outside and switching up the routine is helping her out a lot. I think she gets bored with the same four walls and needs the variety. At some point I'd like to event her a little (not compete) but school cross country and do some jumping with her. She jumps very well. I haven't jumped her over anything big, I did a few over 2ft. Her form is textbook, she likes it and she's brave.

But thank you. Wonder is special. I can't explain why but there is something special about him I haven't felt before. I can't explain it. I just know this horse is meant to be in my life. His brain is unique. He's so intelligent but so chill. He's so smart, he stresses about not knowing the answer but once he knows he's very confident and chill. He's one that someone could set afire if they pressured him and were unfair but be fair and explain things to him and he processes it. He just needs things to be clear and well explained and he gains confidence and with understanding. He's very quick thinking and basically needs the day to process.
________________

Update

Rode the morgan filly again and she was very good today. She's a smart cookie, she'll talk back and disagree and not quite believe the rider but she learns quickly. Today she was much more through and could take more connection without her shutting down. I guess a rider at one time took a lot of contact on her and made her a little claustrophobic. So I'm teaching her how to move her body and reach through to meet the bit which she's figured out. We had some nice circles and figures of 8.

Frankie was very nice undersaddle. We did dressage work and had the best, most uphill and balanced canter we've ever had. I think a big problem for Frankie is she has SO much power and just isn't strong or coordinated enough to use all that power, so she needs a LOT of help. She's wonderful but she's a lot of horse. She feels great when she figures it out and is in balance and rhythm. Then she feels amazing but maintaining it, it's like she lacks coordination which is normal for a horse so powerful and so young. Shes a POWERHOUSE. Her canter was GIGANTIC, we went down one one longside in the outdoor in 4 - 6 strides because we did a lengthened canter and it was HUGE but AMAZING. I felt like we were flying. 

Leo was great today. He was HOT. I couldn't believe it. I don't recall riding a hot Leo but any noise would set him off and he was AWESOME. He's really narrowed through his withers and gained a lot of strength behind. My saddle fits him which is a MW. He used to be wider but he's sitting so much, he's developing lean muscle through his withers. It's awesome! He's developing musculature like an upper level horse. We did a bit of collected work, not a lot of laterals. Mari and I agree Leo is not at all a school master lol. He's a if you're lucky he'll reach a little in half pass and you have to work your butt off for what you get. He's a psychological ride but he's AMAZING. He's improved a ton since our last videos, me too. He's SO much more powerful and uphill and MUCH more I don't know. He's neat. I love riding him. He's taught me an awful lot as a rider and really helped me. 

Wonder was also REALLY good. We trotted today. We did circles and changes of direction across the diagnol. Wonder was great! The more he did the more relaxed, confident and happy he became. For the most part he met the connection and did some leg yield. When Mari stood by him to get him to leg yield, Wonder was offended that she'd have to do that. He was like look I'm smart, see I get it okay I don't need you to show me. He loves what we're doing, I don't know how to describe other than he likes to use his brain and learn. He has a good, working brain. He's all business. He's not at all arrogant, he's very receptive but he is one that if someone were to nag, pester, or belittle him or confuse him he'd get very upset and tense. But we're making him relaxed, confident and happy because that's the horse he deserves to be.


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## Fimargue

I'm just drooling over Wonder, he is so beautiful! He could easily pass for a Trakehner. It seems that the two of you are just meant for each other  I love that connection.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Fimargue- thank you. He's a good guy. He's very intelligent and very kind. And thank you, we seem to have a unique bond. I can't explain it but we just click and are at ease with one another. He will sometimes just lay his head in my arms and fall asleep. He feels safe with me and has gained a lot of confidence. When he first came he was a very nervous, anxious horse. 
_________

Update

I rode the morgan filly again, she was tired today but good. She needs a little rest. 

Frankie had the day off today and she was pretty cuddly. I spend some time scratching and cuddling wither her.

I lunged Friday. He's so fat, he needs to work it off lol but he was great. Nothing lazy about that horse, all go!

I rode Raphael and played with him a bit. We trotted from A to C and each end did a roll back. Walk to canters and canters to walk and I tried to make it seem like a game for him. He was great. I incorporated some stuff I learned when I dabbled in reining. We still did dressage but made it a game, rather than work. He LOVED it! He was much more through, willing and fun. I was so proud of him!

Then I rode Wonder in a lesson. He was great! Just remember he is off the track 2 1/2 weeks and this is his 4th ride. Track horses do not really steer or know the things a typical horse does but he's learning quickly. We are asking him to meet the connection, he is not on contact yet. He was a little behind the leg but he's still figuring out what leg means and how to be in front of the leg, so I had to exaggerate my aids quite a bit so that he could clearly understand. He catches on quickly though, it doesn't take long to teach him. He takes what he's taught one day and runs with it.


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## PoptartShop

I am just loving all of the videos & pictures.  & Wonder is so beautiful too. So happy he is doing well! Awww, I bet Frankie loved that cuddle time. 
So awesome. Keep up the good work with all of them!!


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## Zexious

Wonder is such a looker! ;o;


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## frlsgirl

He's looking like a real Dressage horse already. It's funny though that he doesn't really have a lot of "go" in the trot; you would think being an OTTB that you would be riding the breaks instead of the gas pedal. Maybe he's just being really careful or feels closed in being in an arena with walls, or maybe OTTBs don't get a lot of trotting experience under saddle and don't really have a lot of strength and coordination at that gait. I'm glad you are so giving with your hands and giving him room to stretch; it will probably take a little bit before he figures out this whole contact thing. You can tell that he's still kind of unsure and looks to you for guidance "am I supposed to turn here mom?"


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Thank you. I love both my kids, they definitely enjoy mom time! Frankie is so frantic at times that she stresses me out to be around but when I scratch and cuddle with her she calms down. She reminds me so much of her mother, constantly going.
____________

Zexious- Thank you. He's a good soul, he's very kind.
____________

Tanja- I think it's that he doesn't really understand leg, seat or bit aids. These are all new to him and I'm not starting him with anxiety. I think too often people don't work with training relaxation and trust in the ottbs and end up with that frantic, paniced horse that seems out of control because they didn't do their homework with developing relaxation and trust. Dressage and horsemanship in general is as much psychological as it is physical but most people are clueless about the psychological aspect and it's sad. It's "slower" but healthier and better for the horse. Wonder could get that nervous if we didn't stay so calm with him and constantly encourage, rather than pressure. He's super easy to get hyped up but the objective is relaxation and trust. He'll go forward but it's like he's unsure that-that is in fact what we want and he's also very weak behind and over his back, he's not very well balanced yet and is unsure but he's relaxed. Racehorses are used to pulling and dragging on the forehand. 

Oh no lol. We're not riding him on contact atm. He still needs to learn how to go forward, steer (he doesn't really steer), etc before he's ready for contact. He needs to steer and go first lol. We don't put a lot of contact on greenies. 

Baby Frankie. We don't pressure contact but with Frankie she needs more than Wonder to balance and feel comfortable. She has such a powerful hind end, she'll overwhelm her front, she has to be helped or she loses confidence and shuts down. 





____________

Small update

Wonder is seeing the chiropractor on Tuesday. He really needs to see the chiropractor. His hip is off.

I ordered him his own browband because they are having a rare 15% off sale and it was very affordable. Plus they can make the double loop for him. It's going to be similar to the one he has but with blue down the center instead of clear. 

He also has his own fly sheet. I found it for a deal and it came with the fly mask which was a surprise but I'm happy it fits him! He's just under 17h, so he's a big guy but he fits a european size cob. His head is only a little bigger than Frankie's.

Frankie is doing well. I had a bunch of errands to run today, so she had the day off and I rode no horses. 

I lunged Wonder. He's sore behind and NEEDS to see the chiropractor about his hip. If that doesn't fix it then I'm going to have my vet look at his SI and possibly have it injected.

He's pretty weak behind but getting stronger. He has to learn to be forward first before we slow it down and get more swing. Sometimes I have him go slow and gain a little more swing then send him forward but first he has to be forward, then the other stuff, so he can maintain a forward stride and also swing. He's not there yet and really needs to see the chiropractor.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Dressage and horsemanship in general is as much psychological as it is physical but most people are clueless about the psychological aspect and it's sad. Wonder can easily get nervous, if I wasn't mindful I could easily make him seem like a nervous, anxious, scared horse if we (Mari and myself) didn't stay so calm with him and sooth/calm him whenever he gets nervous, anxious or worried. We constantly encourage, rather than pressure, we show and allow with him. He's super easy to get hyped up, worried or scared (if I have the wrong emotional energy, he loses it and it can be just a little bit of hey figure it out) and he gets worried. We redirect his energy and return him to calm, rather than build on pressure. The mindset you train in them is the mindset you'll end up with (it's not always true, every horse is an individual with a different personality). But I'm very mindful of my emotional energy, as is Mari and that helps him a lot with him being relaxed and trusting, so he feels safe, rather than scared or worried. I think a lot of people fail with ottbs because they lack patience, self awareness and are too tied up in their own ego to be fair to the horse. The objective is relaxation and trust, not how much can I do with this horse and how fast. Every experience needs to be positive and be reinforced with patience and when he gets nervous or anxious, redirecting him to a calm, relaxed state of mind. And constantly redirecting that energy. This is part of why we always keep cookies with us, is so when he gets nervous we can approach his with a reassuring, calm energy and give him a treat to calm him, rather than hype him up. I cannot approach him on the lunge or he shoots backwards, scared. I have to be slow and bring him to me with cookies, so he comes calmly without getting nervous. He is a prey animal and very sensitive. I was also a stallion handler and helped raise several babies from birth, giving the enema and imprinting, teaching manners, taking them to inspection and doing the in hand with the mares and getting them to show their gaits in hand and on the ground. I say this because being a horseman is very important and a big part of being a rider/trainer. It's not just the in saddle work but everything that you are the horse can sense, especially sensitive ones like this who reflect their handler/rider. Leo is the same way.

I say this because it is important. A lot of horses needs to have their energy or anxiety redirected with patience and have "calm" and a "trusting" state of mind reinforced, rather than anxiety. I don't think a lot of people are aware of how easy it is to trigger anxiety in horses like this or how easy it is to make a horse, especially one like this nervous and paniced when he doesn't have to be a nervous, hot, scared horse. Patience, love, understanding and communication will keep helping him to be relaxed, soothed and happy.

Wonder and Leo shots with the browband I ordered for him,a gain it was 15% off.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Not too much of an update

I rode Calibre, Leo and Raphael yesterday. Lunged Frankie because I forgot my saddle, so we lunged over a bounce cavaletti with streamers on it and Frankie did great! She has GREAT jumping form and is very careful and quick thinking with her feet, she's also very brave. Then we lunged on the hill so she could practice going up and down hills to figure out her feet without a rider. It's really good for her, she's figuring out where her feet are so she doesn't feel like the chaotic mess she sometimes does. She has SO much movement and is so powerful she overwhelms herself and doesn't always know where her feet are. This is SO good for her. Also gave her a bath in hand. She's doing LOADS better about being hosed off and a shower. 

Raphael reared straight up yesterday, I have NO idea why. It was so out of the blue, he hasn't reared since January. Other than that his trot was the best it's ever been. 

Leo was AMAZING!! He was SUPER sharp off the aids and SO forward. He was a blast to ride but I think he needs to see the chiropractor as well.

I hand walked Wonder and he had NO interest in grazing, he just wanted to explore and see things. He's VERY inquisitive.


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## Zexious

Sounds like Frankie is making fabulous progress!
Cavalettis with streamers on them I've never seen, but sound like a good idea!

Prior to January, did Raphael have a rearing problem? (Forgive me, I come and go in journals, as I do on this site </3)
I've found that rearing is one of those 'pervasive' vices, that tend to resurface even after the problem has seemingly been solved. 

Wishing Leo all the best in his realignment~ Chiros really do incredible things!

Wonder seems like quite the character! I've never met a horse who doesn't have interest in grazing <3


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## DanteDressageNerd

Zexious- with Raphael, he had a rearing problem from being SO belligerent and tricky (half arab). I'll be honest I've worked with a few half arabs, as has my trainer and they all have these odd ball, ridiculous, difficult quirks that pretty much turns me off to arabs. The purebreds I've ridden have been good but the part breds are just something else, except for national show horses. I've worked with 3 or 4 that were awesome! I don't mind if they're reasonable and have quirks or are tricky but the ridiculous, dangerous [email protected] with low ridability is just not my ride. He was roughed up a bit by a cowboy type rider but I was originally breaking him before I broke my hand last year. Then the cowboy rider rode him, he started acting up and being really naughty, so he sat for a few months. I started riding him again in December and slowly worked through it and getting him to just let me ride him. He used to just slam on the brakes and threaten to rear if you asked him to move forward. I had to get off and get after him from the ground, then get back on or do roll backs and all kinds of tricks just to get him to try and not just slam on the brakes and flat out refuse to listen. It's been a process. He reared straight up with me for putting my leg on in January. This last time I have no idea why he did, we were cantering he was happy then it was like he got excited and went up, came down and kept cantering. The lady in the arena with me said he went straight up. It didn't feel that high or it happened so fast it was hard for me to tell. Dante used to rear like this then turn in a circle while rearing up like a ballerina and I got him to totally stop rearing. Raphael I thought this was fixed because he hadn't even threatened to go up in months. He's VERY quirky and he has moments of brilliance and is really very talented and fancy but he's so hot and cold. I want someone to train him as a jumper. He just doesn't have the temperament or ridability for dressage. He can be going great and seem really happy then suddenly lose it for no reasonable reason. I did that stuff with Dante and as a jumper he isnt like that but as a dressage horse he was so hot and cold. It just isn't worth it at a certain point. Raphael loves me, on the ground he's SO loving and sweet (he's a jerk) but he calls to me and loves cuddes and hugs. I can ride him but nobody is going to want this horse. I don't want him. I love him, I was there when he was born but well I'll just say if I wasn't paid to ride him I wouldnt. Talent is meaningless if the temperament and trainability isn't there.

But thank you. Frankie is a pretty brave, self confident girl. She used to be pretty insecure but the more she's faced with the braver she becomes. She also likes water and mud, so I think she'll make a decent event horse. She's also very careful with her legs and quick thinking which is a MUST for an eventer. She jumps really well. I've never asked her to go over anything higher than 2ft but good form and scope. Jumping is at a bare minimum with her atm (she's 4), so we'll do a little to introduce her and teach her basics but not a lot. It's more like okay go over a few times each direction, tear them down and do something else.

Wonder likes to explore and see things and the grass isn't that tasty atm. It's pretty dry. It's still green but not lush and healthy like it usually is. He gets bored easily, with him he needs his brain occupied. He likes to think. 

And thank you. I hope the chiropractor can see Leo, I have to talk to his owner. He's not mine and I cant afford to pay for chiropractic work for horses that aren't mine. I'd be broke! But he's working on me too! Wonder and I are being done and I'm trying to find out who else needs horses done.
_______________

I forgot to write about Calibre! He was fabulous!! He's a good boy, 3rd level horse but very weak. He was not ridden correctly, so his topline is weak and he needs help. He has to become stronger to take more weight behind and still carry his whole self. He's come a LONG way. He also needs help in his laterals. He was taught incorrectly, so he tends to not bend properly in shoulder in, haunches in or half pass. So it's a lot of position and a little bit of leg and spur to help him. He has MUCH better laterals than Leo. Leo is very reluctant laterally, I've seen Mari and Pam struggle with getting the steeper better quality laterals too so it's not just me. He's gotten SO SO much better since the last time I rode him. Mari has been riding him a lot which I can feel. Really riding him up and long in his neck, he wants to contract in the neck and go short. So lots of half halt, come up to me, soften, send, repeat. Position and balance and help him so he really connects to the outside rein and carries himself. He's doing really well. Mari has done a lot of really good work with him, so it helped me a lot. He knows a lot of good stuff, just has bad habits. 

Rode Wonder yesterday and he was fantastic! Way better than last ride. I picked up a whip, if I used it, I just touched him to help him figure out inside leg to outside rein and help with leg yield. We did a few figures of 8 and circles where he really took the contact and was balanced through the circles and turns. It wasn't the whole ride but he's figuring it out, definitely rides off of position and is very sensitive. He's wonderful to work with! He's a smart cookie, once he figures out something you ask once and and his attitude is like what's next? He was very pleased with himself when I got off, lots of good boys! He seems very happy. He's gaining more and more confidence. He's a fabulous fit for me. Sensitive, forward thinking and super smart. Every time he learns something, he's like what's next? Show me something else! You ask him once and he's like I got it! I'm really glad to have him and I think he's glad to be with me too. He's a total sweetheart and cuddle bug.

I didn't see Frankie today. I feel terrible but ended up being at the barn most of the day doing stuff. Then got dinner with a friend where we got authentic Mexican food from a ladies house. I don't speak Spanish so I sat in silence and let him talk and order lol. It was fun. We got lost looking for it but the food was SO SO good.

Also been thinking about showing and well honestly if showing was priority, I couldn't easily be leasing a 3rd-4th level horses and showing. Have my bronze and be working towards my silver but I thought about it and the reason I chose not to do that is because I prioritize my horses and I like making my own. I like owning my own horse and making them. I don't mind retraining horses or all that but there is something special about having a horse and going through the process with them from start to finish. I love that. I love the bond you build with them and how much they trust you. To me it's that bond I work for and to improve myself not the scores or ribbons. I'll show one day when I have the money but for now I have Frankie and Wonder to love, develop and cherish. I will always choose to do a clinic over a show. It's more valuable to me. I may not get credit for it but it means something to me. I love the horse's first and I'm eager to get in the show ring but I also don't want to bankrupt myself trying to do it all. I'd much rather have both of my kids than show. It will happen one day, it's just going to take time. I have contemplated waitressing or other options to earn some extra cash.



This picture is from a few months ago. I bailed on this and came off, then he was good and pretty much stopped. This one was pretty out of the blue as well. I just put my leg on him to keep him cantering and up he went.


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## PoptartShop

So happy Frankie is doing so well, along with the others! 
And Calibre must have been a fun ride too! I hear you regarding showing, it is expensive & there's nothing wrong with not showing.  I used to, but it got too expensive & I feel like you can definitely enjoy horses/riding without showing. 
Ahhhh that picture! I remember that! Whew, glad you didn't get hurt! He sure took you for a ride that day LOL.
Mmm Mexican food sounds lovely. I've been craving tacos, but I won't be having those for awhile (I like the hard ones) because I'm still recovering from my tonsillectomy. :lol:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Thank you. I'm pretty proud of everyone. But yes I am very glad I didn't get hurt. It's why I don't like riding Raphael. I love him but somedays it feels like Im risking my life to just get on him because when he acts up it's not for reasonable reasons. It's just because it's Raphael. I've given up trying to find a reason anymore, sometimes it just is what it is and you have to ride it out and keep improving brick by brick.

Showing is really expensive, money I don't have plus I'm not ready to give up my amateur license. 

But I hope you feel better soon, so you can have real Mexican food! It's AMAZING! We went to a ladies house and got authentic homemade food. I don't know what it was, I've never seen it at a restaurant but it was good. 
_______________

I'm pretty ticked tonight. I'm SO tired of people trying to tell me how to live my life and what I should do and what choices I should make for living my life. I also resent cliques because it basically becomes a few people grouping together to protect their own and lash out and attack anyone who isn't in the group but of course they do it behind people's backs and not to their face because they're pathetic and cowards. Not a game I'll participate in. I get why people do it, it concentrates power and protection but I still think it's stupid and petty. Sometimes I'm glad I have aspergers, it helps me stay out of the petty human stuff and approach situations and life fairly objectively and without an attached sensitivity. But I am thinking about leaving the forum. It doesn't really add any value to my life and I don't have time or energy for it. I have enough horses and work on my plate (atm I have 6-7) and honestly I'm thinking about going back to being a working student again for an international GP rider because I want to do this. I ride and train every day riding at least 3 horses per day and this is what I'd like to do with my life. I have talent and I hate using that word because a lot of it is riding in the 100s of different horses and working really-really hard, taking lessons, getting on whatever I could and being open to learning. But I want to keep getting better and focus on being the rider I want to be someday. I've worked my @ss off to be where I am today and I'm not afraid of how hard it's going to be or the stress or how rough it's going to be because this is what I need to do. I have not told my parents, I dont care for their anger and frustration because I want a different life. They're not supportive of the horse stuff hardly at all. They think it's waste of my life and wish I did almost anything else. But this is my passion and one thing I live for. I live to just be around the horses. I'm a horsemen. I am a skillful handler and I want to learn more but I will say it's nice when you go somewhere new and trainers notice those things and appreciate them. It's nice not to be taken for granted. Im eager to learn more and improve. I want so badly to prove and show what I can do and learn and push myself. I don't want to push the horses but I want to take the steps forward I need to realizing my dreams. I've given up on so much of life and accepted being swept under the rug and honestly being treated quite badly in many cases but I want to do something for me and really make my dreams a reality, rather than always helping someone else make theirs.

I'm not a people person, I get tired of the petty bs, favoritism and ridiculous games people play where they don't care about what is actual or real, just who they "like." I'm not a people person, I don't understand people and have spent most of my life struggling and fighting to understand what I do. I'm autistic, yeah I have a different way of viewing the world and am used to having to fight for what I get. Yeah a lot of the times I don't have the energy to explain my thoughts because it takes a LOT for me to translate how I experience the world and experience things to someone else. Even trying to explain what I know and experience seems impossible at times, specifically when people are bent on misunderstanding.

I also prefer horse stuff in person because I am autistic and I do experience the world through sensation, feel and experience vs words it makes it much easier to show someone what you mean then attempt to translate your experience or sensation to someone. Words just don't communicate what they need to. 

But Wonder lunging from today. He's wonderful. I love him SO much. I love him and Frankie equally. They're unique and different. Frankie, Leo, Wonder, Raphael were all very good yesterday. Frankie really came into her own and was so through, up and listening. We hacked around to warm up and cool down but the 15min we rode were amazing, leg yields in canter really got the jump and an incredible canter feeling. Her trot was incredible, swinging, elastic and powerful. We also trotted around the fields and around the property. Frankie was a super star!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Update

I'm in a lot of pain today. Raphael threw me into a wall yesterday, this is why I don't like riding him. Literally all I did was gather my reins NOTHING out of the ordinary happened, he was being good prior to that and suddenly as I'm gathering my reins he leaps into the air, twisting buck throws me into the wall then aims at my head with both hind legs. He was inches from my head. I could have died or been paralysed but luckily just bruising, soreness and my neck is super stiff (Saw chiro today) but I WAS FURIOUS. So I stuck him on the lungeline in side reins and just had him go, then did in hand work and treated him like a stud which means absolutely no toes out of line or softness, very German style. Then got on and made him do half steps and REALLY get his hind end under himself, half pass and go. He was covered from head to toe in sweat but he's not my style of ride at all. He needs a male rider who is going to be on his case and rough him up a certain amount. You have to be fair but you have to be rough with him or he's just a jerk. It's not my style as a rider. I do not ride a horse that needs a baby sitter well. I don't micromanage, I don't pressure or rough them up. I know how to be a very firm, strong rider but naturally it's not my style and not how I like to ride. I ride hot, sensitive horses who need reassurance much better. Raphael rides like a bully stallion. I had actually done some reining type stuff with him (I've dabbled in reining) and had been riding him one handed a little bit just to mix things up for him and keep things interesting with walk to canters and canter to halt, etc. He seemed really happy but Im thinking of dropping the ride on him. He's not worth my life, even if there is pain somewhere in him (which I doubt) he looked perfect on the lungeline but I have a ton of other horses and he's not worth it. He loves me, he nickers when he sees me and he can be sweet but he's an @ss hole. 

Leo was pretty stiff yesterday, I think he needs to see the chiropractor, so I mostly rode him in two point and just did figures of 8 and rode him on the bit but just with position and weight. I like it to keep him self going and light off the aids. Poor guy:icon_frown: he has previous injuries (right hind, left fore) and always warms up mechanically lame until he warms up then he looks even but some days he's just so stiff you never move past the warm up, so I warmed him up and got off. 

Frankie and the morgan mare have the week off because it is SO SO hot/humid this week and when I say humid. I mean 7am I have sweat dripping down my face while cleaning stalls. I lunged Frankie over a little jump to get her out but it was very short and she didn't sweat much.

Friday I REALLY need to ride but timing hasn't been good. Calibre is super. 

We're all in love with Wonder. He's very impressionable. He acts like a mirror and is super smart. He learns quickly. He has a little bit of mechanical lameness (which is previous injury related due to scar tissue and isn't current) but the stronger he gets the more even he gets. We had a lessons yesterday and he was SUPER. Figures of 8, understanding leg yield better, can carry a whip (When I use it I usually just move it in the air and sometimes touch aka lay it on his bottom) any more than that is too much and sometimes the touch is too much. But we cantered yesterday, it was not balanced but he was a good boy and is getting the canter transition aid. He's a very smart horse. He loves to go and he seems to love his new life. He's just so happy to work and do anything. He didn't want to go into his stall yesterday, so we went for a walk and he was fascinated by the lawn mower that was going. So I asked if they could turn it off and he could smell it, so he smell the kid in the lawn mower and investigates it then is like okay let's eat grass. I say it's okay to start the lawn mower and he doesn't blink an eye. He's a good boy. He saw the chiropractor today and had a lot out in his lower back (to be expected) I don't think he's ever been seen before. He was nervous about it and he actually got upset when I gave the chiropractor the lead rope while I grabbed fly spray. He was really worried, like where's my mom? He looked nervous, I felt bad for him then I came back and he instantly calmed down. He was nervous about the chiropractor working with him and kept laying his head in my arms like mom I'm scared, so I talked to him and petted him which with him works. He LOVES to be talked to and gains confidence from it. He's very impressionable. 

I am going to for the working student position. I don't know if I'll get it but I'm going to be on the look out and will be taking at least 1 horse with me. I REALLY DO NOT want to lease either of my horse's out. They're my babies. I love them an awful lot. Frankie is so sweet and dorky, she cracks me up everyday and I want to keep riding both of them and bringing them up the levels. I like making my own horses because we have an iron clad bond and they go how I like to ride. Sensitive, responsive but not worried, anxious or scared just trusting and confident.

We are going to event Frankie some next year or at least that's the plan. It's so good for her brain. She gets so bored stuck in the 4 walls of an arena. Last ride she was FABULOUS. We hacked for our warm up, then did work for 10-15min with leg yield in canter and she was super balanced, threw, really taking the contact and so supple. She felt great. Then we hacked out around the property and down the roads and she LOVED it. I'm so happy I moved her.






Frankie jumping small log. She loves it.


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## frlsgirl

Oh my goodness. Glad that you are ok. Raphael sounds like a good horse for a male rider...Aaron W? 

At least you're own horses are wonderful. 

Humidity is killer here too. I'm only riding early am or late pm otherwise it's just too brutal.


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## PoptartShop

Oh gosh about Raphael. :sad: I'm glad you weren't seriously hurt...that is really, really scary. Ugh. As if you don't have enough pain on a daily basis, then that?!  I hope you feel better.
I agree, Raphael and a male would probably be a good match. He definitely acts studdish and has that darn attitude!

Glad to hear Frankie and Wonder are doing well.  They are so cute. Love Frankie jumping over the log. LOL, I think eventing will be good for her as well. She'll love it!

Humidity is also bad here. I am so sick of it. Every time I step outside, it's like stepping into a sauna.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Thank you. I'm really grateful it wasn't worse. REALLY grateful. He was inches from double barrel kicking me in the head. He's a jerk. Dante could be rough but he wasn't nasty like that. Dante was not a male's ride but Raphael definitely is. He can be very confrontational and a bully or sensitive and insecure but now that he's gained confidence and isn't so nervous of the rider, he's become a bully. He's one that unfortunately needs to be dominated to be safe/respectful :/

But thank you. They definitely are Frankie is such a dork, she just makes me smile and Wonder is super sweet. Both are very kind horses. 

Oh definitely. Here is was 103 today actual temp with high humidity. It was awful! The horses all have fans on them so the barn stays pretty cool at least. But gosh this heat wave is nasty.
_____________

Allison- Thank you and I wasn't thrilled, I was livid. Putting him in line and figuring out his place and that he is not in control of the situation and that if I say jump, he needs to get to the point of how high. He's one that would be well suited to a male rider. I wouldn't say he likes it but he responds to it and wakes up vs being a jerk. 

I know you've been in a lot of pain lately too. I think you kinda get use to pain but then get ticked off when it limits your ability to do things lol. Like I physically cannot lift my left arm over shoulder height and can't move my right leg laterally or lift it. I can't do it. I could barely get around the house yesterday and slept for 3-4hrs. Today I still took an easy, I lunged but didn't ride with how icky I was feeling. I thought if I get thrown again it's going to be worse. 

But thank you. Both kids are doing great! I love them both so much lol. I think Frankie needs variety and if I tried to focus on dressage all the time she'd get bored and clock out or shut down and she may make a really nice hunter. I had a friend suggest she be turned into a hunter. She has the hunter movement naturally and the jump. She could make a really nice hunter but that's not what I want to do. I want her to cross train but emphasize dressage and dabble and play around with eventing and we build her up in dressage. She LOVES jumping, she's very brave. Doesn't bat an eye as streamers or scary stuff. She sees it and notices but is like well okay. I'll jump. 

Gosh it's everywhere. It's terrible! Here it was a 103 actual temp, no idea what it was including the heat index but well over 110. Horses are under fans and the barns both have good ventilation.
_____________

Well new program for Raphael. I'm doing a lot of in hand work with him, as well as lunging which for him is 10x harder than being ridden. We're applying stallion rules now, no more of my natural style. I used to ride more "German style" which is more strict when I was worked with stallions and rode Ivan who rode like a bully stallion too, though I dont think I ever came off of Ivan (17.2h bit of a fall). I know how to ride and work with a horse in the firm, no negotiations, aggressive-assertive style. It's just not natural to me, I was a stallion handler for a while and I used to be known as the nazi as a handler. I wasn't "mean" but I was very firm and wouldn't let horses put a toe out of line and wouldn't let them cuddle with me or any of that. I was very firm because I was used to work with stallions and young baby babies. Raphael is so confrontational, I think it's how it has to be. You can't reason with him and if you do the soft encouragement he just sees it as weakness. And he has to be SAFE for someone to get on and ride. He just has to.

We're getting Friday going again. We REALLY need to put more time into him and get him sold. That NEEDS to be a priority we've all just been so busy, he gets put on the back burner. And by we all I mean me and Mari. I ride him but Mari helps on the ground. He's such a nice horse with a good mind. He just needs to get going.

I didn't ride Leo because I'm still super sore and not feeling well plus the heat.

Frankie didn't work because at the barn she'd have to ride outdoors and it's just too hot and too humid. I'd rather give her a few days off than work her in the heat and be unproductive. Plus I'm really white and the sun is really bright and even with sunscreen I'd prefer to not have white hair or be burnt lol. My hair is almost white atm from the sun. I'm naturally SUPER blonde, so add the sunlight and bam it's platinum.

Wonder is AMAZING. He's my soul horse. I love Frankie an awful lot but Wonder and I just connect. Undersaddle he's SO sensitive and mentally he just feels like show me something new, teach me something new and I'll do it and he LOVES it. He loves dressage work. And he's SUPER powerful. Way bouncier than Frankie and bigger strided. He just trusts me and turns to me when he's worried, with other people he just stresses and get anxious but it's like when he's with me he's calm and feels at ease. I don't know how to explain it but we're connected somehow. He's very much my style of horse, very sensitive, on the nervous side but reasonable. And very forward, sharp off the aids and willing with a very sharp mind. He likes to be talked to, he calms down.

Just note his left fore is the one with scar tissue. Going right is very hard for him, he's not well coordinated or as strong to the right. Very normal for the off the track horses. It's just time and patience. We have a VERY long ways to go but I'm looking forward to it. We're almost at one month off the track. Riding is going well. Will ride him tomorrow(I hope). Last ride we cantered and it was unbalanced but not horrible for a first canter. About what Frankie's felt like lol. He's more uphill than Frankie though. Frankie naturally moves like a hunter.


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## frlsgirl

I question why Raphael has turned into such a jerk - do you think that perhaps they missed a testicle when they gelded him? I'm sure you've considered this, but I've heard that lyme disease can create such symptoms where the horse is fine one minute and then just explodes without warning.

So glad that Wonder is coming along so nicely and that you are building a strong foundation of mutual trust; this will be helpful in times of doubt and stress.


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## DanteDressageNerd

This is Raphael from last month. Not what I'd like but I'll say he is not a willing partner and he is not as green as he appear. He does do some half steps, he knows how to collect, do half pass, renvers, travers, shoulder in, leg yield etc but most days you can't get it. Left is his stiff direction. I've been apart of this horse's life since before he was born. I was there when he was born. He was a super sweet baby. Even though he frustrates me, I really do love him but sometimes to help them you have to give them tough love which is where we're at because I want him to be able to go to a home and not be dangerous or end up being put down or seriously hurting someone or me. They're too big an animal. I have asked Mari if he can play around in jumpers and see if he fairs better because his temperament doesn't make him marketable in dressage.

Here you can see he's just not very ridable. I'm pretty cautious with him because even if you do it all technically "right" he doesnt give the correct response and so your playing trial and error trying to find a tactful approach that works with him. He's a professionals ride but not a professionals talent which is hard spot for a horse. You'd have to ride him to get it, he's one you have to feel. 






With Raphael, I don't know. He's been like this since about 3. He was gelded at about a year? Mari has suggested we try depo with him because she said it really helps confrontational horses but the thing is he isn't my horse. I'm paid to ride him but he isn't mine. He's been a jerk for a long time but why all of sudden has it escalated I'm not 100% certain. My theory is he's 6 and he's gotten a LOT stronger and more confident and is testing the waters again and trying to establish dominance. But it could be lyme or who knows *shrugs* could be magnesium deficiency which I've wanted to supplement him with magnesium but IDK that his owner will go for it.

But thank you. I think so. Trust is EVERYTHING. With Raphael it's respect but with a lot of horses, it's trust and compassion. They can tell if you're naturally empathetic and will look out for them. It's why I have Wonder at all, his previous owner refused to sell him to 9 people because Wonder didn't take to them but Wonder took to me instantly and we just connect. He's my type of horse. I just enjoy working with him, he's so sensitive, intelligent, and reasonable. He has a good head on his shoulders. He has anxiety but if he trusts you, you wouldn't know it because he really listens. If he's nervous, he turns to me.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright I have to. It's almost been 1 month with Wonder!

I'm absolutely in love with Wonder. He's absolutely my perfect horse. I LOVE Frankie but the only way I can compare it is like soul mates to best friends. Both are very important and wonderful but for whatever reason I just fit with Wonder and he fits with me. He's VERY sensitive and atm VERY green but this horse just rides like what I like to ride. Very sensitive, very responsive, strong desire to learn and REALLY listens. He pays attention and REALLY wants to do the right thing. Strong desire to learn and to go. He LOVES learning and he REALLY enjoys dressage. 

Also there is a reason I don't get on him and mechanically organize him. I don't like riding horses like that, I will not train him like that. I want everything soft, smooth and off my position and using soft aids. How you train them is how they'll ride like. Everything matters, how you approach them mentally, what you train them to respond to, etc. It drives me nuts when people ride maybe 1 or 2 or a few horses and think they know it all. No this is not a horse you can just muscle onto the bit, there are a LOT LOT more important thing he needs to learn then the sole objective being to have his nose down and in the bridle. He's getting more and more consistent all the time. HES ONLY BEEN OFF THE TRACK ONE MONTH. I will always choose to take my time and do it right then try to rush it and end up with a nervous horse.






Going right is very hard for him atm. He was a track horse. They do-do some work to the right but most of their work in to the left.






I also rode Friday who was AMAZING! I kept telling Mari he's making me look good and she just laughed. In honesty I don't know whether he's gotten better (well we havent' ridden him in a month) or if I've gotten that much better that he went that much better. He felt awesome. Really had to keep his shoulder out and haunches in going left which is mostly from position and leg position. I don't know. It's all in the micro details. Friday is VERY VERY sensitive, so I LOVE riding him. He's wonderful to ride. He's sassy and very sensitive.

It was WAY too hot for riding Frankie outside and by the time it came to riding Leo my lower back was REALLY hurting. I have a degenerative disk in my lower back and from the incident with Raphael, I'm still on the mend and didn't want to push it. Degenerative disks are not something to mess with when they're aggravated.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Some more shots from today. I'm just really-really proud of him! LONG road ahead but he's come a LONG way in a very short period of time. This is at one month, I can't wait to see what he'll be like in another month!


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## Tihannah

You already know, I think its remarkable how far he's come in a month. When you first saw him, you told me there was something about him, and it looks like you were right! Lol. He looks fantastic and I think you're doing an amazing job with him! 

He is without a doubt going to be a super nice horse!


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## Rainaisabelle

Glad you are okay!!!!! Wonder is gorgeous looking forward to seeing more of him!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- Thank you. I'm really proud of him! He's so much fun to work with. He's a very sensitive guy but at the same time he's very bold and has a personality of lets do this! He's very game.

I'm learning a lot with him. It's mostly micro details but all the micro details add up and make a BIG difference. But thank you. I think he is too. He's not going to be as fancy as the purpose bred warmbloods but he has heart and a good deal of try. He has that wonderful thoroughbred personality. Lots of heart, try and highly intelligent. He has a lot of drive and thoroughbreds have an iron will I don't see in other breeds, they're just resilient. 
____________

Raina- Thank you. I'm glad too. It easily could have ended with a trip to the hospital or the loss of my life. Mari is going to ride him sometime and I'm just lunging and doing in hand work with him. I may get on him again but honestly it's not worth it. 

But thank you. He's a great guy. I love him! 
____________

Horses are so [email protected] expensive gah lol. I LOVE my horses but when I look at what I spend on just supplements per month, it makes me want to vomit! I'm trying to adjust who gets what to what they really need but it's still a lot lol. 

Cannot cut supersport, magnesium, MSM, probiotics, or for Wonder outlast lol. Frankie gets about half the amount of super sport that Wonder does. It makes such a big difference in both of them. The probiotics are $10 a month for both horses. Magnesium $24 for both. MSM $14 a month for both. Supersport is $45 per month for both. Outlast makes such a big difference for Wonder. Grr. I finally told my parents my plans to be a working student for hopefully the next year, they weren't happy to say the least. They're pretty anti horse but sometimes you just gotta follow your heart to be cliche and what it is that makes your heart beat and make you get up everyday. This is what I want to do with my life and I don't mind hard work. I've worked incredibly hard in my life, I can keep doing it. I want to get to GP with Wonder. Frankie has the talent for the GP but I do not know if she has the desire or not. Wonder I think does. He loves it and he's not as fancy as Frankie but he has qualities she doesn't It's hard to compare. They're just different and have different personalities and qualities. Frankie has gotten LOADS sharper and is a lot more reactive which is something I'm constantly working on. I want her to be as sharp off the aids as Wonder. She's really coming into her own. And it's hard to say exactly what Wonder will be because he's at the very beginning of his career. Frankie has a lot more training but is a lot more immature. Both are good horses. I love them both and PRAY they both will be in my life for at least 10 years.

Frankie went for a hack this morning on the roads and she LOVED it. She was great! We walked down, Frankie met her first chicken and was good about it. She noticed but I put my leg on and she's like oh right mom's on FOCUS. Then we trotted back on the road and she had a beautiful medium trot. It's also great for conditioning their legs to harder ground. Gotta toughen her up. I'd like to canter her on it sometime. Today didn't feel like the day but she was great! I think she'll do some low-mid level eventing with me along with dressage. Dressage is the primary, eventing is to keep Frankie entertained and happy.

I rode Leo. He was very stiff. I hadn't ridden him in a few days but he was STIFF. We warmed up in two point for quite a while. Did two point simple changes and got him going and warmed up then did work in the canter getting him to really step under with the right hind which he is so resistant to (right hind prior injury), he still guards it, so it's tricky to get him to really step under with it and use himself. I had to be pretty firm with him today but you CANNOT make him do anything. He's like riding a stereotype chestnut mare lol. Very opinionated but if you're fair he'll try. I made him go steeper into the laterals which he REALLY didn't want to do but it was the only way to loosen him up.

I couldn't motivate myself to do anything with Raphael. I'm still hurting and limping with a noticeable gimp.

I did some in hand work with Wonder. Mostly with leg yield, shoulder fore/in and helping him connect laterals to the outside rein. Some turn on the forehand so he gets better laterally. He was a good boy

Horse selfies because they're my babies. A friend phrased it best, "Frankie is my spirit animal or kindred spirit but Wonder is my soul mate." But you can tell they are total momma's kids lol.


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## Tihannah

I totally feel you on the supplements. I have my hands full with one! I couldn't imagine two horses! But in the end, they really are worth it! 

Love the pics! I think Wonder adores you!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- It's ridiculous! I may be taking them off of a few different ones and feeding Wonder black as knight (it's $24) and is supposedly good for joint, hooves, coat, etc. He's SO sunfaded he looks bay lol which I know you know how that goes from Tess. Starting today he'll be on night turnout since he finished his ulcer medication.

lol he does or at least seems to. He's a big baby!
______________

Not a big update

Been riding a LOT. It's been 4-5 horses a day atm. By the end of yesterday I was starting to get a heat injury (I've had previous heat injuries). My head was spinning and I felt super hazy, dizzy. I always carry a 1.5L bottle on me to keep hydrated and carry coconut water and bananas with me as well. I have low blood pressure as well, so I have to keep my blood sugar levels up in this heat. 

Wonder is VERY badly faded. A few people asked me if he's bay and I said no he's black lol. He doesn't have a mealy muzzle but he's SUPER faded from being outside during the day and our sun is HARSH. Heat Index is 110 today. Thank God the horses are under fans.

The 3yr old morgan filly is coming along. She's still not strong enough to sustain her trot and canter but she's come a long way from our rides last week.

Raphael I lunged over cavaletti and he is much happier. I keep telling Mari to turn him into a jumper. He will NEVER have the temperament for a dressage horse and he's not talented enough for a professional. 

Raphael late February. It makes me sad









Friday has been really fun. He's SO sensitive. He was VERY finicky yesterday. Like I'd move to adjust position to change direction or make him straight and he'd throw a little fit every time I made him carry himself and got him straight. He was so mad about having to use himself properly. Mari had to follow us with a lungeline to get him over his tude. He rides like a chestnut mare lol. He's fun though. I like him a lot. He was just acting like a mare in season, even on the ground. So sassy and not in the cute way *shrugs*

Frankie was AMAZING yesterday we went galloping on the dirt roads and had a blast! We also did field work walk, trot, canter, counter canter, shoulder in, leg yield, lengthening, shortening and she was AMAZING. She felt SUPER. She's simply amazing to ride. She's SO forward, sensitive and hard working. She rides like a thoroughbred with a bigger engine and loftier gaits. She's very lofty, that's the best way to describe how she feels. She feels like we're flying in canter and trot. It's just a lovely feeling.

Wonder has been really good! Another lesson later today on him. He's so sun faded atm. I'm really serious about putting him on black as knight.

Parents are pretty much telling me I'll fail and I find it amazing they put all their effort into planning my life for when I fail, rather than putting any effort into helping me succeed. My parents are well off but they are VERY anti horse. They think it's a waste of money and time, they were like kids would be cheaper. They don't help me with anything, I pay for everything myself and I'm FURIOUS when they meddle and tell me I'll fail and I'm ruining my life, etc, etc. It's gotten to where I don't like talking to them and pull away more and more. What I don't understand is why they put the effort into planning for when I fail, rather than making ANY kind of effort to help me succeed. I'm not owed but at the same time I wish they'd help me. They help my sister, my schooling is entirely paid for. NO DEBT. I bought my car, it's totally paid off. I pay all my bills. Just frustrating. German parents, they are NOT supportive of the horse stuff what so ever. 

Last picture is sales, then 2nd is when he came home a month ago and top 1st picture is from the 2nd week? and the others are yesterday. We're still putting weight on him. He has all you can eat hay, grain 3 times a day. Beet pulp, grow n win, supersport, outlast, etc. His topline has come a LONG way in person, in photos it doesn't show but he's put on a TON of muscle.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright had an AMAZING lesson on Wonder and had to share. Mari and I are in love with this horse. He is just amazing. EVERY ride he improves a TON and I improve too because he is so sensitive, so literal and open to suggestion. He's amazing! Mari and I agree this horse will do the GP if he keeps up like this and we keep him going. He's not as fancy as Frankie but he has something I'm not sure she does, drive. After a ride Frankie is like thank God, now we can eat but he's like wow that was great! I'm great! Let's do it again! He also has presence and he's MUCH bouncier than she is (I think it's easier to improve the movement on a bouncier horse than a smoother one) but he's so much fun to work with. He's a team player, he's totally with you and is just positive to work with. He is one where you just direct, allow and encourage. He's perfect for me and I love him. I feel SO blessed to have found him. I never would have found this amazing horse if Tina hadn't been horse shopping because I would have never browsed canter or saw his ad. I'm SO grateful. 

Today walk, trot, canter on the bit and riding almost like a training level horse. I told my trainer at this rate he's going to be ready to show 2nd level by the end of summer and she said heck by the end of this year he'll be ready to do 4th and we laughed. I could do the PSG with a tune up on a horse that can do it but gotta make my own, can't afford a made one. We dont mean it literally but I told her this horse is just going to walk up the levels. He wants to do it. He LOVES doing this, after every ride he feels SO much more confident and good about himself like hey I'm pretty great right! And he's a total Mama's boy. I just LOVE him! He's all cuddles and kisses, he loves his new job and is just soaking it all up like a sponge. I can't even explain how much this horse means to me. I just love him. I love riding him, working with him, spending time with him, hand grazing him, whatever. I just love him. MAYBE we'll get video on Friday. MAYBE no promises but I hope so. He improves by leaps and bounds every ride, I'm SO excited to continue our journey together and see where it might go. I can't explain it but this horse is special. 

Please do not get me wrong, I LOVE Frankie but Frankie just isn't motivated like this guy is. Frankie is wonderful and she's 4, so I can't say for sure but she doesn't have the drive or desire that he does. Frankie is dead easy to ride now. At least to me. I think I could put most anyone on her atm and they could walk, trot, canter her on the bit. Just set your hand and allow. She rides almost totally off of position and will meet your hand. Want her to go, just ask. Trot just lift in your chest and open your thigh, canter just canter. Want her to half halt, engage your core, lengthen open your hip or in posting trot sit a step longer in the up phase and a hair less in the sit phase. Jump her up into your hand with your leg and seat (without grinding in the back) like your swooping a big ice cream scoop up with a thought of and up and up. I WISH I could get some video but no one to video me atm.

Raphael was ridden by a cowboy today, he had his @ss handed to him. The cowboy said he felt like he was being mean and felt bad but he has to learn and I said no, this is EXACTLY what he needs and that he's a kinky SOB that likes to be roughed up. He does. After he's roughed up he looks ridiculously happy. He LOVES the cowboy. He went straight up on him too but they worked through it and I think this is exactly what Raphael needs. He needs to learn his place and it's a shame we have to be mean about it but I don't think Raphael thinks it's mean. Raphael likes it. Weirdo.


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## PoptartShop

Omg drooling from all the cuteness.  Wonder is so handsome. He definitely likes you. And it's amazing how well he has settled in, & how well he is doing. It sounds like he is very smart.  The lesson sounds amazing. Like he loves having a job too which is great. 

Good for having Raphael ridden by a cowboy! That's right, he needs to learn! Sounds like he really is meant for a man right? LOL. That's so funny. Sounds like they will do well together, I hope the cowboy can ride him more often. He needs that.

As for your parents, that's just messed up. Your horses ARE your kids, without the screaming & crying. :lol: They should be happy you're happy doing what you love. If you wanted kids, you'd have them and even if you had them later in life so what? They shouldn't pressure you on that. Ugh. Like just because they don't like horses doesn't mean they should shun you for loving them. :sad: Sorry you are dealing with that. And especially since they don't pay for everything they seriously have zero say. They're probably just jealous because you're happy. Sounds like they're not.

Frankie is definitely you in horse-form. LOL. :lol: So cute!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- thank you! They're my love bugs. Wonder is my giant pony for sure. As far as he's concerned mom is his favorite person which of course I love lol. My horses are my babies and they're spoiled but well mannered. He is SUPER smart, one of the smartest horses I've ever met. He's just a thinker. He's definitely hot and very sensitive but he's very reasonable and listens. It was a really good lesson 

Yes! He needs it. The cowboy is very fair, never more mean than Raphael deserves. I think there is something to some of the old cowboy ways like tying a horse to a tree for hours or just some of the different things they do work on horses like Raphael. Wonder or Frankie it would be a disaster but Raphael he's pig headed enough he needs it. 

I know! It's a frustration my trainers have as well. I used to work 70+hr weeks. I'm a former active duty Marine. I've worked my butt off, I work two jobs, I have goal and dreams. I'm also responsible, pay my OWN bills, etc. It bothers me that they have no interest in helping me succeed because they're so set on me failing. They'll help my sister because she chose a conventional route they approve of but me not a chance because they disprove of it. Well sorry I HATE computer science, HATE it because it takes time away from my horses and I want to become a trainer. I want to be a working student for an international GP rider and pursue it as a career. I also told Mari I may suck right now but you know what tomorrow I'll suck a little less and the day after that I'll suck a little less and a little less. 

Yes she is. She is such a dork and she can be so awkward but in a cute way, plus she's really brave and adventurous! 
_______________

Not much of an update today was sort of my off day meaning I only worked 3 horses and cleaned stalls lol. 3yr old morgan, Frankie and Wonder. 

Frankie has matured a LOT. She's figuring out her legs and how to bring herself under on her own. She's growing up a TON. She'll work through scary stuff. Had a cat jumping in the hay loft while I was working her, she looked but I told her to keep going and there was tension in her body but she listened. We're going to play with hula hoops and things tomorrow. The goal is to keep things different with Frankie.

But I've decided I'm going to start icing Wonder's legs and back after every ride and need to buy ice boots/pad because it's one of the best preventatives of injury and he uses himself so hard and used himself hard in his life and I talked to Mari and he's the horse we're going to be campaigning up the levels. We were joking last night about how if Wonder keeps this up he'll be going 2nd level by the end of summer and Mari said if he keeps this up he'll be 4th level by the end of the year lol. Not literally. He is lacking a LOT in strength. I think he pushes himself really hard and I want to back off a little bit because he's sore from how fast he's coming along. We havent' been greedy and he is on a muscle supplement. I gave him a magnesium salt bath and iced him today after I lunged him because he was HOT. It was cool and he is a HOT horse. I VERY rarely consider thoroughbreds truly "hot" but he's one of them. He's hot. He's also not very comfortable to ride lol. I LOVE his gaits but his trot feels like a catapult and his canter is kinda rough lol. It'll get better but he's a neat horse. 






His browband finally came too!!


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## Tihannah

That's funny about Raphael and the cowboy! But hey, some horses need a cowboy in their life! Lol.

Wonder looks amazing. His body is changing so fast! And what a good boy! He listens so well! I love it! Love how in tune to you he is! He is something special for sure!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- definitely there were things I saw that were quite rough but not at all uncalled for or out of place and would not have happened if Raphael wasn't such a bully. He is all fight. I also talked to an arabian lady about his lines and she's like yeah those are not riding lines. Psyche and Padron horses usually aren't good riding horses. 

But he needs this. There is stuff I hadn't seen before but I get why they're done. It was rough but we tried playing nice for too long and honestly I don't feel sorry for him. Nobody at the barn feels sorry for him. He's that big of a jerk. The cowboy said he hold the record for most defiant and he wishes he didn't have to do any of it but Raphael has to learn his place. He's not a horse you can just work with, he's a horse who is just a bully.

Bu thank you! He's changed a LOT. And he does. He's a good boy. He's a total Mama's boy, he knows who is mom is! I'm really proud of him, we just click for whatever reason.
___________________

Alright rode a new horse for a Lady to do a sales video on. I'm very glad I asked if I could ride her the day before we videoed. She was full of it. Sometimes it surprises me the things I can stay on and stay with because usually I have quite a good seat and can stay on quite a lot lol I'll say it saved my butt as an eventer at times. But I'll say today it came altogether and she finally understood me and my aids and was awesome! She just needed to understand. She's pretty quirky and took a bit of figuring out and had to install some buttons like the core-seat half halt because she's used to being held together which most of mine you can ride a bit one handed and they'll stay on the bit, in rhythm etc. And today I could lengthen and shorten and she stayed with me, rather than running off with me. Smart, good girl.

But I will say it opened my eyes to how other people train and how thankful I am to have the trainers I do.

Wonder was really good. I tried the kk ultra dynamic RS on him and he DIDNT like it. He was good but he just wasn't as soft in the bridle or soften to it well. So his bit will be the neue schule team 12mm. He has a small mouth, Frankie's 14mm looked too big for him. But I'll be riding Wonder tomorrow (hopefully).

Frankie went on a fun hack down the road. We leg yielded walk, trot, canter from side to side of the road and did a bit of a gallop (it's a soft gravel road, small fine rock). She was great! We had LOADS of fun! She's a fun horse to ride then the lady who owns the barn got on her, it was the first time anyone besides me has been on her and they were great! She said Frankie is awesome and fun to ride which is nice because she's a trainer (she drives, does dressage, saddleseat, etc) and is quite a nice rider. So it was nice to see someone get on and able to ride her. It's a HUGE compliment to me when someone gets on a horse I trained and comments on how nicely the horse rides. I kept saying she rides almost entirely off of position and seat aids. And she was like oh I got a little crooked here we are leg yielding lol. She can leg yield, shoulder in and ride one handed for quite a bit of time.

Learned a ton about Arabian lines which was interesting.

I will say I prefer to produce my own horses which is why I like developing young ones. I have schooled 3rd-4th level and I've been told it'd be easy to get me to PSG, just some tuning up if I had a horse for it but I'm good with waiting because I'd rather do it with a horse I made than one someone else made. I feel like it just shows what you know lol. Though I'll say every time I ride Wonder I'm like hey buddy it's okay. We have a LONG road to GP and that's okay because I think he's going to be the GP horse of the two of them. He's not as fancy as Frankie but he has the brain, drive and temperament. He LOVES his job! He just LOVES it.

I've also started icing Wonder after our rides. It's supposed to be a great preventative and so I ice his legs for 15-20min then ice his back after every work out. I've also decided to put Wonder on Black and Knight, he's on night turnout now but I still want to put him on it. I draw the line at pillow wraps atm. I do pillow wraps quite well but they're a PAIN IN THE @SS. Truth be told I wonder if that's part of why I quite eventing lol.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad Wonder and Frankie are doing so well! It's incredible how much Wonder retains and how quickly he could start climbing the levels! That's awesome!

And sucks about Raphael, but sounds like it was needed. Shame it has to be done, but better to keep people safe.


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## Dehda01

I know hundreds of Padron and Psyche get, grandget and so one that are showing well under saddle in all disciplines. I have owned and trained quite a few to nice titles. 

I do find the Russian lines tend to be less forgiving of fools and need to be asked nicely rather than told and will protect themselves if they feel something is unfair. The Psyche's have a very nice Spanish dose added in which tends to lessen the Russian tendencies. Of course the dam line is everything. 

I find my Russian arabs tend to be quite smart so it can be easy to skip steps, but often need a bit more time to fully understand a concept so I have to remember to fully explain something properly so a training hole doesn't pop up later and bite us in the behind. Because when they are confused, they can react improperly.


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## frlsgirl

Natasha Althoff ices all her horses after every ride. I always wondered about that as I had never seen anyone do this here so I assumed it was an Aussie thing. 

Love the pictures of you riding on the green lawn; calendar worthy!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I will hopefully get to other journals too but am pretty busy and need to keep working. Need to find another 2nd job because they don't need me anymore :-( And I have to figure out how to pay for both horses. I REALLY want to be a working student again but I'm not sure that's the best option for my two horses. I want to keep being involved in their career. Frankie is at a point where we can start working on the fun stuff and she finally seems happy. 
__________

Katie- Thank you. Wonder is amazing. Mari and I love him, we're taking our time to make do anything. He is a hot horse, he will try his heart out for you if you ask. He is so eager to please and LOVES doing it. When I ride him his attitude is I am awesome, this is awesome and we're doing this and if it weren't for the monkey on my back I could do the grand prix now! And Mari and are like it's alright Wonder Grand Prix is a LONG ways away but the harder it gets, the more eager he is to learn. It's like he's hungry for it. We keep our rides to about 30min and do not move quickly. He's one of those where you have to keep returning to basics because he is a hard charger. I LOVE riding and working with him, he has so much drive and I don't say that about many horses. He's just one I sit on and think this is a Grand Prix horse. 
__________

Dehda- Raphael is not a "if you just ask in the right magical way" he'll be good type what so ever. He sees it as weakness to exploit that will allow him to control the situation and do as he pleases. My tb and mare are a you need to ask and explain it thoroughly to them types. Raphael is a it's Wednesday and I don't feel like it, so I'm going to throw you into a wall and try to kick your head in type. 
__________

Tanja- No. They a lot in the states and Europe as well. It's just a good preventative for horses in hard work or who have worked themselves hard.

But thank you! I was really proud of her, she's really coming along!
__________
Update

Rode Wonder yesterday. He's a lot of work lol. He's a great horse but he takes a lot to ride atm because he is SO powerful and so green, it's kinda like guiding a projectile missile between your legs when you steer because he really doesn't understand bit aids very well. He rides almost entirely off of position and doesn't entirely soften to the bit, he's learning but doing AMAZINGLY well for how green he is. I had a lesson today and he did something to his right hind. He just didn't feel 100% we worked through it but he may need to see the chiropractor again and get his teeth done. He literally would swing his right if I put any pressure on the right which to me says he needs his teeth done. 

Frankie had her feet done, I pulled her back shoes due to the expense. I wish I could afford to keep back shoes on her because it offers a lot of support for her hind end since she uses herself so powerfully. 

Here's a short video of me and Frankie and yes I did do a circle of one handed work because I'm an @ss hole and get tired of people claiming dressage riders just hold horses together.


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## Dehda01

I would be curious what the wb half would be. I wouldn't just be blaming his Arab half. I would guess a hotter line? I have had great results with the wb Arab crosses, but know other people that have not. Particularly if they bred to the Ferro and other VERY modern known lines that are not known to be Ammy friendly and tend to be pro-ride only. But very fancy... add Arab lines to that and you get some powder kegs. Not a good mix. Breed good minded stallions known for rideability and Ammy-friendly rides and breed to arabs that are the same(not a reject mare) and you get some super horses. I tended to like slightly older fashioned stallions. 

Sometimes a horse is just wired wrong, but other times they just need to be restarted because of a bad attitude. I know one NSH who is a real a$& , even though all of his siblings all were marvelous and tractable. 

I didn't had any problem with rideability, and I break my own and then get them out myself and can show against pros and still be in the Top 5 (+) at class A Arab shows. My babies sold to BNTs and backyard owners


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## PoptartShop

Awww Frankie girl!  She looks great. I'm sure she's loving the open fields and not being stuck in the arena!  Beautiful!

Hmm maybe Wonder does need to see the chiro, may just need an adjustment. Could just be off.
I am happy everyone's doing so well.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Dehda- Raphael's dam was very sweet but her lines are Magnum Psyche x Bey Shah and Raphael's sire is Rotspon x Donnerhall x Weltmeyer super rideable lines. Rapture R (his sire) is super ridable and all the foals (except Raphael) have been super ridable and have a good temperament. Raphael isn't hot at all, he's more like you asked me to so I don't want to and if you ask me I'll throw as nasty a fit as I can and try to get out of it.

But I agree some are just butt heads and it's not anyone's fault. They just are who they are, kinda like kids. 

But glad your babies turned out well. 
____________

Allison- Thank you! I LOVE riding out there! It's SO much fun! And I think so. Wonder needs to see his chiropractor and hopefully will be good to go. I also think it's a saddle fit issue we have to work out.
____________

Update

Rode Leo. He was good but he didn't feel 100% like he was sore or stiff somewhere. It took a LOT to ride him. 

Rode the 3yr old filly and Frankie. 

Lunged Friday and Wonder.

Frankie was FIRE HOT today. I don't know what go into her, she was a nut! She was so hot is took EVERYTHING I had to keep her from running off with me and keeping her appearing relaxed/supple. She was ON FIRE. I think it's from being herd bound and a lot going on. She went well but I was shaking when I got off and had a few moments where she literally bolted with me. She came back quickly but good Lord I have NO idea what got into her. She's not that horse. But we did some HARD stuff. I did walk to canters with her which she's never done, it was a few steps trot to canter but idea was put in place, counter canter and I found out she has auto changes if I'm not careful. Shoulder in, leg yield, 15m circles, lengthening and collection steps. She was HOT, so lots of more collective work of half halt, engage core, energize and soften. 







And Leo from today. The walk to counter canter was intentional, the videographer is sort of new to dressage and didn't know we do that on purpose but Im EXHAUSTED. I was gone for 11hrs and didn't eat for 11hrs. He didn't feel 100% to me like he was tired or IDK. He just didn't feel like his normal Leo self. I had to work REALLY hard for everything I got. He's not by any means a schoolmaster, he's a if you can do it on him. You can do it on a horse whose never done it and probably better type ride but he's great because he makes you really EARN everything you get. He's a good boy and I LOVE him! He's taught me a lot! And still has a lot more to teach me! We just get better and better. His laterals are TOUGH. My trainer HATES teaching with him because he's just not at all textbook and you can't just do it right and get the correct reaction. He's a VERY tact oriented horse. He's a GREAT horse but he's not easy and that's why he's taught me what he has.





I also had to do a TON of socialization and that WORE me out. Too much and I get SUPER DUPER awkward then stressed and confused and have no idea what to do. I need a time out from people. They're good people, I just have aspergers lol.


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## PoptartShop

Woah about Frankie being hot! :O Glad you got a lot of work in with her though.
Hopefully she is more calm the next time. :lol: You can just tell from her movement that she is super energetic & ready to GO!
That is a long time!  I would be shaking if I didn't eat for that long! That is good you still had a good ride though. Maybe he just needs a nap...or you both do really! LOL.
I feel the same way, when I'm around a lot of people for a long time it wears me out. I just need to be in my own space after awhile.


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## Dehda01

Yes. The Rotspon/D lines normally are lovely. I love me the Donnerhalls and have had good luck with them. W lines can be trickier sometimes though I have enjoyed them(with the right quiet heavier thinking warmblood mare), I have chosen not to cross them closely with my mares.


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## frlsgirl

I wonder why Frankie was so full of it? Maybe the Morgan mares are rubbing off on her?

I hear you on peopling. I too need my quiet time.


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## DanteDressageNerd

lol yes it was still productive. She was just like an explosive bomb! She hasn't been like that last two rides, I think it was just so chaotic at the barn it was getting her wound up!
____________

Dehda- I agree. Leo is Londonderry x Werther and that Werther gene is strong. Both of my trainers really struggle with him and an olympic rider was afraid of him but you can put lesson people (not beginners) on him and he's good for me *Shrugs* but that particular olympic rider is hard on the horses and treats them like a machine to boost his ego. He's a jerk.

He was compared to Raphael and I said he is NOTHING like Raphael. Leo tries and isnt a bully but to be fair the last time I've seen someone on Leo that wasn't me he was tail swishy whenever the rider would barely touch him with the whip or I've seen him buck riders off which for me he's NEVER offered but he's VERY particular about who rides him. If he likes you he'll try, if he doesn't he won't try at all and get very defensive. He's tricky but kind hearted. 
____________

Tanja- I have no idea. Her best friend is a little 3yr old morgan filly (who I also ride) and quite like. She's SUPER cute and sweet. Adorable personality and they get chased around by the older morgan mares. Frankie isn't a dominant personality, she's not submissive but she's more like I just want to eat grass. Why are you chasing me?

Certainly. It's overwhelming and exhausting after some time. 
____________

A LOT more work with Wonder. We have a LONG road ahead of us. I think Wonder may have an SI problem, my trainer suggested it and we didn't want to treat him until he got a bit stronger but I'm kinda wondering if that's going to be the next step. My chiropractor said to give him more time and develop more topline before going into looking as his SI, so I think that's what we'll do. He's also back on ulcer meds and had his teeth floated. He had mouth sores on the right hand side and seems happier now






It's a work in progress. He was taking the bit better but I sort of suspect he also needs another chiropractor visit because it's the same on the lunge line which makes me sort of sad because I can't afford a lot of diagnostic work. And maybe he's fine and just needs more time to develop musculature and support in his new life and more time on the ulcer meds. Because truth be told he's come a LONG way. He steers SO SO much better, his left lead canter is the best it's been. We have a LONG way to go but progress.

Frankie was AWESOME today. She leg yielded from centerline to the wall both directions in walk, trot, and canter. Did some lengthenings across the diagnol, etc and she was super

The 3yr old morgan filly was really good today. She's still a bit sassy but in an endearing way. She's only 3. 

Rode Raphael last night and I can say I don't enjoy working with him but he's better. Just the type of horses that will test every person who rides him. He's constantly testing and you can't give him a cm or he takes a mile and it escalates quickly.

Leo has a cracked tooth, back mollar, got to ride Friday and Leo tonight and I'm exhausted lol.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I re-introduced gluten into my diet because I LOVE gluten products but after being back on it I am constantly fatigued NO MATTER how much I sleep and granted I get up early and work, etc but still I shouldn't be so tired that I have to force myself to stay up. 

Wonder lunging from today. We're trying to lunge him twice a week with lessons 3 times per week. I'm convinced he has a pain issue somewhere. My guess is his SI but would have to have him looked at which I want him to see the chiropractor but we need to do some diagnostics which I am DREADING. His right hind and how he moves it just isnt quite right. 

I lunged him over the cavaletti. He went through once and was like NOPE this is stupid, I don't go over obstacles. Even polls he's the same way about them but it helps his use his back better and swing SO much more. It's good for him but he does not want to jump.











Rode Frankie today and let me say she is really growing up and is a BLAST to ride. She is HOT and wonderful. She's SUPER sensitive and reactive, it's awesome! We did walk to canters which she thought was great, any excuse to canter and she's on it. She likes to go, we lengthened in the canter and came back to a shortened canter and she came back to me pretty easily and listened, even though the moment I let her go she was off. Canter is her favorite gait. We did some counter canter and didn't allow her to change or she'll auto change. But she loves to go. Stopping is not her favorite thing but we did some long and low stretching as well and she stayed in rhythm, swinging and did not take off or lose her rhythm. She's a good girl and just a blast to ride. She's so much fun to ride.

Wonder is definitely a hot horse. He's a really good fit for me and Mari would get along with him too but a lot of riders I don't think would get along with him at all. You cannot make him do anything, you cannot micromanage or control him. You have to have firm lines and show him the expectation and make it CLEAR but you have to suggest, show and allow. He is very willing. You ALWAYS have to be positive and encouraging with this horse, if he sense any other emotion he will flip a switch and get super nervous, tense and scared. I never get frustrated or assertive with this horse, just correct, allow and reward. He's a good boy but I was talking with my trainer about this he'd be perfect for her or me but for most people this horse would be way too much and he's not naughty at all. He's just high strung, sensitive and worries. You can NEVER get mad at this horse, ever or he loses all confidence. I was very mildly irritated I mean VERY mildly and nothing about him and he started flying back, so ALWAYS 100% positive and encouraging. He needs someone who is reassuring, builds his confidence and let's him think for himself. He cannot be micromanaged or made to do something. But at the end of our ride on Friday he was like wait, surely there is more. Come on let's do more stuff! He loves to work and loves his new job!

Leo is similar you have to kinda take what you can get, especially in the laterals. If you get on him and try to make him more expressive or make him do anything to get steeper laterals you'll get the hoof and lose his compliance and that is why a lot of professionals cannot ride him. You have to accept that some days the work will be poor and it's not a reflection of you as a rider but if you press it and try to make it as brilliant as it could be you'll get nothing as all, so you have to accept the low quality movements because he doesn't want to. And if you lose his willingness you lose it all because he will flat out refuse to be ridden. I've seen him do it with trainers and GP riders. 

Pictures of Leo, Wonder, Millie (3yr old morgan filly), and Frankie. 

Friday was good last night, we worked a lot on laterals and had a great discussion with Mari about different riders, their riding styles, horse personalities and why certain people just dont get along with certain personalities and how each rider sort of has their own riding "identity." Every rider has their strengths and weaknesses.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Some things that drive me crazy

When people have minimal experience developing green horses, especially not powerful-strong green horses and judge with a "I could do it better" eye even though they'd probably end up in a wall on the same horse or have the horse unbalanced, out of rhythm and out of control or even steer. For example Wonder is VERY VERY bouncy. He throws the rider around a lot which is accentuated by how green/unbalanced, big and powerful he is. Most riders would struggle to post his trot let alone to organize it or even get a canter transition. I'll admit I was a little surprised by how bouncy he is but I'm used to it, it's like catapult each stride. He doesn't really have a canter transition yet. Or steer because he doesn't really steer yet either. But I'm one of those people where I hear someone who lacks experience or an eye being unfairly judgmental, rude or condescending. I'm the type whose like alright get on please show me how much better you could do. But honestly I wouldn't let those types on my horses, why? It's not fair to my horses and it'd be a liability issue where on say Wonder I think someone might get hurt and it wouldn't be Wonder's fault WHAT SO EVER but both horses are very sensitive and they do pick up on emotional energy and they simply cannot be compressed or bullied or made to do something. You can't see saw on them or kick them over and get after them or you will make them tense, nervous and scared. You have to hold their hand and be supportive and guiding without force or pressure. Correct and encourage. 

It's always the greenest, more inexperienced riders or the ones who have had success on maybe 1 or 2 horses that are the most judgmental. It absolutely grinds my gears when I listen to relatively green riders with essentially none or minimal experience developing horses be critical of things they don't understand. There was a girl who has shown PSG and another whose shown 3rd on schooled horses trying to talk down to other riders and give unwarranted advice (bad advice on something green or isnt a textbook type ride) which I just found it obnoxious. Like I've seen you ride, you have no idea what you're talking about. I promise they couldn't ride a Dante or a Wonder or a Leo or anything unconventional or young or green. It's such a different ride and I don't even know where to begin to explain the process. It just makes me *head desk* sometimes. There was another girl who also showed 3rd and rode a schoolmaster and she said some VERY unfair things about the trainer and I remember thinking kid all you have is a a fragile ego and a horse that looks after you, how dare you look down your nose at riders FAR MORE capable than yourself and look down on them. She was criticizing a friend of mine who is a very good young horse rider and develops young horses because she hasnt competed past 1st and I remember thinking excuse you she's 20 times the rider you are and maybe if you pulled your head out of your @ss you'd learn something. Get some experience under your belt, actually develop young horses but oh wait you got pulled off of the young horses because you couldn't ride them at all. She was also a very fragile type of person, couldn't handle any kind of criticism yet was so harshly and unfairly critical of others. As though all she cared about were symbols.

For example when I watch saddleseat or driving or western trainers, I generally don't judge but I ask questions about what I don't understand and why they're doing what they're doing because sometimes shutting up allows you to learn something, rather than trying to show up others and talking as if you know something about something you don't know.

Alright off soap box but that peeves me. Want to see me get short and nasty really fast (in person) online I won't go off because to me it's pointless but in person I tend to put people in line when they over step what is fair. 

First day I did not go to the barn in weeks. I may still go out later today, I REALLY want to go out but I REALLY have work I need to do and I need to rest. I also need to ride Leo because I've had SO much stuff to do I haven't ridden him since Thursday? 

Also had someone sort of get upset with me because I was counter cantering Frankie and they seemed to think that was wrong and didn't get why I dont' ride Frankie in long and low all the time. Because honestly she's VERY hot and yes I can ride her long and low and I do ride her long and low but I do not warm up long and low. About middle of ride and end I will do some long and low but I do NOT start there because if I start there she won't take the contact down, be in rhythm, in balance or properly on my aids which she has to be to do long and low well. It irritates me when people assume a higher frame then they're used to equals force or pressure to get that "frame" or that the horse can't be in self carriage, blah, blah, blah and I just roll my eyes.

Whenever I hear that cr2p I have to say I am so happy I didn't have the opportunities other people had. I'm grateful that my parents never bought me a schoolmaster or paid my way. I'm grateful that I had to work 70+hr weeks and have NO life of my own for years, that I was happy to ride whatever I was asked to and got to ride horse after horse after horse of various mental types, conformation, breeds, types, education, experiences and quality. I'm so happy that I didn't grow up riding high quality horses and had to ride what I could because I learned SO SO much for it and am that much more grateful for what I have that I actually enjoy it because I know what I put in to get there. All the tears, all the sweat, blood, bruises, broken bones, and pain. It was worth it. Absolutely worth it. A lot of the rides I had were because they were naughty or difficult, unpleasant or never going anywhere so I rode them and learned. Have to be open to learning and opportunities whenever they come.

I guess it also bothers me when people resent you for starting to figure things out, as though they resent your happiness. Like your happiness and success somehow makes them feel inadequate or I swear some people have to feel "superior" to whoever they're around to feel adequate. It's just weird. I'm so glad I have aspergers, that stuff goes over my head and doesn't make sense to me. I just like seeing people happy and succeeding and when I see someone do great it inspires me like hey I want to do it too. I have to find a way and good for them! Or when people get mad at me because I try to understand other people and they're perspective by relating to them because it helps me understand if I've experienced something similar or if I explain something I try to be so thorough and show examples of what I mean because often times I don't think people understand what I'm saying or mean because I see the world differently than others (I just do, I'm pragmatic but autistic). I experience the world differently. I desperately want to understand and do right by others and help where I can and maybe there are just things about the human condition I will NEVER understand (well lots of things I don't know or understand) but maybe there are so many unwritten human laws I will always feel outside of or confused by because of autism? It also makes it SUPER hard to relate to others because I literally have a different brain type and way of thinking and experiencing life.


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## Tihannah

Love all the pics! The horses look great!

And can totally relate on the green riders with big egos! We have a fairly new person at our barn like that. For the longest, we've had a really friendly atmosphere going where everyone was really supportive and encouraging of each other. Well, this new girl that has come in has created a really bad vibe among all the younger girls. She boasts herself as an intermediate rider, but if you see her ride, she's clearly green. Greener than me even! She likes to talk down on the other girls and just be flat out ugly to them. She's also been caught in quite a few pointless lies as well.

I don't get people like this and why they feel the need to boost themselves up or look down on others. I simply hope that one day they learn to humble themselves and realize that they don't know what they don't know.


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## frlsgirl

Eek, there seems to be no shortage of judgmental people. I would just ignore them, and do your thang, cause you know you do it well. Glad to see a pic of the Morgan filly. She's cute!


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## Tazzie

Your pictures are great, as always! I'm glad everyone is coming along so well.

I hear you about Frankie and long and low. Izzie is the same way. She wants to go to work right away and leave the long/low/stretching for the end. At the end it's blossomed, but in the beginning it's mediocre. So I get it.

And people suck. Plain and simple. This is why I'm glad I'm the only one riding where I do. There are no judgments, and no one thinking they can ride my horse better than I can. Shame people can be so ridiculous :/


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- Thank you. I'm proud of them all!

The sad thing is that's usually how it goes. The greener the rider and the bigger the ego, the more they assume they're somehow better than everyone else and think they need to tear down others the worse they usually are. I can't tell if they really think they're that great or if they're just that insecure and putting on a face or something else, I have no idea. Either way, it's just pathetic. I know someone similar who rides "classical" and boasts and claims to have had training with all these great olympic riders but I saw her ride and it's not pretty or anywhere near good. I think she's a liar. Very blah. She puts everyone around her down and has nothing to show for her nastiness. It's just pathetic. It keeps them from being successful or anywhere near good. You have to be open to learning and not think you're already there. Just sad

I agree. No matter what putting someone else down will not make you any smarter, more accomplished, more successful or anything else. Instead of belittling others just go out work hard and succeed your own way but I swear a lot of people want a lot of something for nothing and then claim other people have what they have due to "luck" and not hard work and desperate drive to learn and succeed and being open to learning.
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Tanja- Nope. There is never a shortage. It's like people see how well youre doing and feel threatened and it's odd. Instead of being happy for anothers success, they feel threatened or somehow made inadequate by it. It's weird. I generally try to ignore them but sometimes it gets to me and just ticks me off because it's ridiculous and unnecessary. 

And yep Millie is darling! I like her a lot. Such a smart, sensitive girl. Fairly sassy lol but she tries hard and I have video of her but don't feel right showing her when I don't own her. Morgans are cool little horses.
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Katie- Thank you. I'm pretty proud of everyone.

Certainly. I don't start long and low on most horses. I start in maybe a training-1st frame and let them go then will stretch some and the deeper stretches are more mid ride or towards the end. On a horse who is really uphill I do more stretch type work vs a horse that's downhill like say Leo I do more collective work then stretch or rest then pick them up again to keep the suppleness in collection but its interesting the different things you need to work on, on different horses with different conformation and abilities. Have to be the rider they need.

They do. I avoid people for the most part. I was REALLY anxious shopping yesterday. I rarely go shopping but my mother invited me and offered to buy me clothes. I almost had a meltdown from so many people. In the Marine Corps people were mindful of themselves in stores people are just chaotic and everywhere, like chickens. It's terrifying! My heart was beating so fast, I just avoid people for the most part. I'm pretty quiet. And certainly. I can't stand the holier than though attitude or I know everything so bow down to me types. I can't stand it. I know Mari or Pam could probably ride my horses better than me but at the same time they're not people who go around looking at other riders thinking oh I could do so much better, they don't look to tear down. They're like how I can help make it better or they see the progress people make and note it, that's how it should be. I'm the same way. I see people on their horses and sometimes I think I wonder what that feels like or I wish I could feel that so I could understand the situation or I see people progress and enjoy their horses and are dedicated to learning and I'm so happy for them. I never sit there and think oh gosh I could do so much better, it's always awesome I'm glad they're enjoying their horse and doing well. How cool. Though some riders (and I know I've sent you videos of some of the trainers) who are VERY unfair and mean to their horses I want to get on and reassure the horse that they're okay and not going to be smacked around and beaten for asking questions. or have their mouths sawed off for trying to escape excessive pressure.
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Update

Lunged Friday and Raphael today. They've also been bathed. Both boys were good. Mari was busy today (she just got back from an event yesterday night). 

Wonder had the day off, so I just groomed and loved on him. Frankie had a bath day because she was FILTHY and nasty. She needed it but did not enjoy it. She doesn't like baths. 

Frankie absolutely loves to canter. I did walk to canters both ways and she got them and lengthened to shortened without touching the bridle and she came back to me. Canter is her favorite gait, she likes to go. She likes lengthened canter better but listens and doesn't get upset when asked to come back. She prefers a canter to walk transition over a canter to trot transition. A lot of young horses prefer to canter, so have to maek it fun for them. Partially it's education but an even bigger part is making every ride fun for the horse.

Rode Leo. He was AMAZING!! It was the best ride I've ever had on him. It was REALLY good!! His canter was unbelievably amazing, I've really been working hard to improve myself and my riding and doing some games. I always warm Leo up in two point and try to steer, bring him together purely from position. Then we get into the work. I made him trot from K to M and H to F, etc and really made him do the work without cheating. He was LIVID and actually kicked out when I asked him to do a walk to canter without swinging his haunches in. Mari taught me something that has totally changed our canter transition. Don't move the outside leg, two outside half halts, canter with the hip and inside leg stays on and straighter transition. Amazing. I LOVE learning and working on improving. Another is keeping him more subtle with the bit stiller and making him jump more into my hand. It was AMAZING. I can't explain it because they're such subtle things I realized I don't know how to explain it but I know the difference in feeling in my body and can feel myself getting better. 






Apparently Wonder hates polls and cavaletti but because he is so uphill we have to work more on getting him to lower his frame and come over his back. For a horse like him the higher "frame" is a lot more natural to him but he needs to carry himself lower to really get him working over his back, swinging and gaining suspension and stride size. He's the type of horse who most likely wont' do too well training-2nd but 3rd and up he should be good to go. I bought him to be an upper level prospect, so it doesn't bother me. I knew from the way he moved he wouldn't do great at the lower levels. 

Raphael is SO cute when he's sleeping. He's so cute but such a butt and yes he poops on the wall. He wont just poop, he has to do it right against the wall :neutral: Also my home made cheesecake I made. It's a lemon cheesecake with lemon curd, raspberries and whipped cream. It's AMAZING! And of course Wonder!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Wonder was fantastic today! He's really coming along. I don't think we'll need the vet to look at him. I think the chiropractor and vet are right, just give it time and allow him the opportunity to build muscle over his hind quarters and topline and he'll become more and more even with strength and coordination. He felt the most even he ever has which is encouraging. He was a blast! He's still SUPER green but he's getting it! My trainer and I talked and we absolutely agree he wont do well training-2nd level, his time will be 3rd level and beyond. He's not an elastic, supple enough mover to do well low level. He just isnt what the judges like to see at the lower levels but at the higher levels his way of going is rewarded and will help him a lot down the road. A lot of the flashy, floaty movers do not move beyond 2nd because they just can't sit well enough. Frankie can sit very well but she is not as uphill as Wonder either. I think Wonder will find canter pirouettes and changes pretty easy. I also think he'll have phenomenal reach in his laterals once he's strong, coordinated and actually understands all the aids. He tries SO hard, GREAT work attitude.

We also had a strange accident where I walked Wonder near Mari and she had the door open and Wonder just decided to go through and went to his stall, I had to duck quickly or I'd have been decapitated or knocked off backwards. Everyone else was really scared because it happened SO fast and well lol that's never happened to me before. I just kept counting my blessings that I was an event rider because when you're an event rider you have to think fast and make split second decisions. With my event horse who was a nut, so game. There were several times he locked onto fences I couldnt bring him off of and just had to go with it. Take a deep breath, get a bit behind the motion (he jumped so big over larger fences, if you were in balance you'd be on his neck on landing). So I'd get a bit behind, stay with him over the fence and throw my feet forward on landing else I wouldn't be recovered in time for the next fence and if you didn't recover he was going whether you were ready or not and if you dont' recover, you fall off. His jump was massive! But you learn self preservation, to think fast and stick on. lol but Wonder has NO desire WHAT SO EVER to jump, he thinks jumping is stupid. HATES polls and cavaletti. No eventing in Wonder's future.






Millie (3yr old Morgan) is finally understanding leg to hand well enough to do long and low on a 3 loop serpentine and come off my leg to position her into the bridle and take the contact down. She's gotten SO much better and is really starting to get it. We did some counter canter and walk to canter, she's a good girlie. She has a better walk to canter than Frankie lol. She did a lot of leg yield both directions and is doing quite well. Much more in self carriage than before and really picking up on things quickly. She's a bit sassy and rides all girl but she's a lot of fun to ride. I LOVE mares. I much prefer mares.

Frankie was AMAZING today. AMAZING we leg yielded from one side of the arena to the other, like with Leo in walk and trot and from centerline to the wall both directions. Lengthened canter to shortened canter easily. Then we did some long and low in the trot and did a 4 loop serpentine. She leg yields in canter quite easily and we worked quite a bit on developing collection maintaining the highest degree she can carry herself at then letting her out to long and low to stretch then gather back up to the highest degree of collection and really have her on the aids meaning it comes from using her forward momentum and incorproating half halts to bring her up in her neck and taking weight behind then using rhythm control created initially through back to back transitions of 3 steps walk, 3 steps trot, 3 steps walk, 3 steps trot, etc. But it comes to rhythm control of using the swing in their back and post to create a larger, more swingy supple stride. She was VERY forward, I love riding her. I actually offered the trainer at the barn I'm at who has a student that needs to learn some things to use Frankie in a lesson if the rider is soft enough because Frankie is very honest but she doesn't get insulted by mistakes but she will give the right answer for correct aids and sometimes riders need to feel a correct horse to get it. Frankie moves laterally effortlessly and bend around the leg just by applying knee and positioning your hip. She's lovely to ride, plus she can give her the feel for collection because all you do is use the half halt to bring her up, add leg, lift hand a bit and soften hand and send because to collect they have to be in self carriage. She's still a young horse but she understands the collections aids, it just needs to be developed further as she gets stronger and more able.

I'll say Leo has taught me an awful lot and I'm so glad I get to ride him. Mari and I talked about him today and just said to do 2nd level+ stuff he is a hard ride because he looks for ways out that you as a rider really have to be on it and make the expectation. You CANNOT force him, make him, pressure him, etc or he will have an ugly reaction that will end up with a rider on the ground. He's pretty sassy but he is a cool horse. I was leg yielding him walk, trot and canter from wall to wall , so I felt great about cracking his laterals and figuring out how to unlock them. I have to REALLY insist and give him no escape but at the same time I can't corner him or make him. It's hard to explain it's a super subtle thing and it's all timing. I can't explain it. It's a feel and mental thing.

I'm just SO SO excited to develop all these horses and in the process develop myself. I've improved SO much, it's really exciting for me! Gotta keep learning, keep working, and improving!


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## frlsgirl

Hubba, hubba, Wonder looks like a total hunk standing in the cross-ties. And the look on his face is like "yeah, I work out, so my mom is icing me now" 

It's interesting what you said about the walk to canter with the Morgan filly; I've heard that a lot about Morgans; that they do seemingly more advanced things such as walk to canter better than more juvenile things like trot to canter. Must be because they are so smart and uphill.

I'm surprised that Wonder is cantering so well especially considering that he's so fresh off the track; did he not do well on the track? Was he one of the slow pokes? Obviously it speaks to your skill level as a rider as well. Bravo!!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Wonder would eat it up if you told him that. He's not an arrogant horse but he appreciates compliments. He is starting to enjoy being iced, I think he knows it helps him feel better. 

Millie likes to canter, I think all her gaits are pretty good but morgan are DEFINITELY smart and uphill. They're really smart, real workmen type personalities but with sass and opinions but reasonable about it.

Wonder was actually a winner on the racetrack. He made almost 80k. He didn't race as a 2yr old. He started as a 3yr old but as a 4yr old he reared up on a horse walked and damaged his front left tendon. It's fine and he recovered and raced on it and his last race he won but the owner was getting out of racing and didn't want to sell him as a racehorse because not everyone treats their horses like he does. He definitely gave him a lot of love and care. He turned down 9 different buyers before he'd let me buy him because he didn't feel it was the right person or situation for Wonder. But then he saw how he clicked with me and felt at ease about it. It was his favorite horse. 

But how we got him going. I think a big part of it is we were patient with him and brought him along appropriately. I did quite a bit of in hand work with him to teach him bit aids and laterals movements and how to connect to the bridle then lunging in side reins so he learned how to work into a contact and come over the back then riding, being very mindful of rhythm and teaching him how to soften to the bit while still sending him out to it. Rather than just trying to widdle his nose in like a lot of people do when re-training OTTBs. They really listen to position and balance, they don't understanding bit aids. They have to be shown. I also think a lot of people go wrong with OTTBs by not being patient or direct enough. You have to be fair, they're very sensitive horses. Wonder is SUPER sensitive, he picks up on the wrong energy fast and will fly backwards at a million miles an hour. And Wonder is a special horse. He's HIGHLY intelligent and has an incredible work ethic. He LOVES to work and LOVES having a new job. He loves me and he loves his job and I love him and I love working with him. We just click.

I feel so blessed to have him in my life, Mari has helped me a lot with him and he's taught me a lot. He's not easy but he's wonderful to work with. I feel very lucky to have him and Frankie in my life. 

But thank you. I'm really thankful to all the horses and training I've had over the years that have helped me to ride Wonder.
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Bottom two pictures are Gracie, Frankie's mom.

Rode Leo last night. He cant be ridden for 2 weeks because he had his tooth removed and it needs to heal before he can be ridden again. He was really good last night. I'm glad we had a hard work out.

Rode Friday and Raphael they were both AWESOME!! Friday was sassy, I dont know why. He was good but sassy. He's not as sensitive as he used to be, we're trying spurs on him next ride. His laterals were really lovely and canter transition was lovely as well. Raphael was more agreeable than usual. 

Wonder was ANGRY that I didn't tack him up. He saw me tack up other horses and was simply not okay with it. He LOVES to work. When I take him into the arena you can tell he's like YES we're in the sandbox, let's go! Ill have an audience right? Do I get to show how awesome I am? He's not at all an arrogant horse but he LOVES to show off like he's proud of himself and wants to show what he can do. He has a very inquisitive sort of personality. He likes to understand things and really look at things.

He also started on black as knight yesterday. He's so faded atm, I'm excited to see him black again!

I rode Frankie today and she was difficult. We rode with the carriage, she was good and there were great moments but she just felt a little sore in her hind quarters and behind. She was good. We did lots of serpentines changes of shorten trot, working and lengthen trot and same with canter. 12m, leg yield to a 20m circle, etc. She was really good but keeping her rhythm pure was difficult. We also did quite a few transition to helps her take more weight behind and sit. As well as long and low serpentines.

I can't wait until Wonder is strong enough that I can get this trot and better under saddle. He's put on quite a bit of weight, he still have more weight to gain but he's put on a lot of muscle and weight. He's really starting to look 17h now (he sticked a hair under 17h after his feet were trimmed).


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## PoptartShop

Awwwwwww they are all so cute. I love the pictures of Frankie's mom too. Wonder does look pretty big! :O So handsome.

Sorry to hear Frankie was feeling a bit off. :sad: Aww. Love love love that you and Wonder click so well!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you. I love them both! He is a very handsome boy  and knows it lol

Frankie is actually doing really well, I think she was just a little muscle sore and not able to drive as much from behind. But they're both wonderful lol
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Update

Both horses are doing great!! I'm very uncomfortable/in chronic pain but what ever that's normal it's just worse than usual. 

Leo is on a 2 week vacation after his mouth surgery. He had a cavity that split his tooth and had to have it removed.

I rode Frankie last night and she was AMAZING!! She is definitely a show girl and a show off. There was another mare in the arena and I could feel Frankie get competitive like see what I can do. She moved FANTASTICALLY well. She did a flying change (no I'm not putting changes on my 4yr old) she was just in a do you want this mode. She was offering an awful lot, we did lengthenings in trot and canter and she came back easily, lateral work, shoulder in, introduction to haunches in which made her walk feel 10x better. She was awesome! I've never ridden her where she put in that kind of effort, she really felt like she was like I see that mare and I want that mare to see how capable I am. She's competitive which was really great to see in her. She's showing me aspects to her character that I hadn't seen before. She puffed up and was like I'm the best and I'm going to show it which is a GREAT thing in a show horse. She cares. We also did counter canter figures of 8 both directions, she was overall just super with a great work ethic. I'm so happy to feel her getting competitive and trying like she is. I was worried for a little while. She's super!

Wonder was good last night. I worked my butt off to ride him, I felt like I was getting thrown EVERYWHERE. Mari said he looked great but man I was shaking when I got off of Wonder. He was great, he felt amazing but he is very bouncy and not that well balanced. I had to lean so hard to the outside both directions and really prop up his shoulder and help him which is normal for a green horse but when they move SO big and are so powerful and so green it's different. He moves like a massive horse, a lot of big horses don't ride big but Wonder rides big. Kind of like Dooley. A lot of horse but he's awesome! I love the feeling he gives!


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## frlsgirl

Awww Frankie! She probably feels like she's playing second fiddle to your Wonder horse and had to show you what she's made of. 

Glad all your kiddos are progressing so well!


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## DanteDressageNerd

She might. I'm not sure. She wasn't especially friendly today and seems to be into other things. She feels a little more distant but she seemed to perks up when I gave her wither scratches IDK, it makes me sad.

But thank you. I'm really proud of them both. Frankie played over small jumps today.
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Friday and Raphael were good today. Friday has a much better attitude than Raphael.

I cuddled with Leo but did not work him because he has two weeks off while his mouth heals from tooth removal. 

Both Wonder and Frankie need to see the chiropractor, Wonder is getting his feet done tomorrow. He needs to be done. Frankie has a small splint on her front leg (super common in young horses) and the change of ground may be apart of it. I didn't feel like riding by the end of the day so I lunged Frankie over small jumps for her to have some fun. She LOVES to jump.






Kitty cat Lyla, Wonder and Frankie


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## frlsgirl

Wow his hind end is just as muscular as the front end; he DOES work out! He could be a model for horse supplements "You could be an ordinary horse, or you could be a Wonder Horse"


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## Tihannah

So glad to hear about Frankie doing so well! I think you're probably just seeing her mature and start to enjoy the work as she gets stronger! Wonder looks better everyday. Love the jumping pic! Frankie has such nice form!

Sorry to hear you're going through aches and pain again. I go through it too, not as bad, as mostly just from old age! Lol


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- He's coming along for sure. BO changed his diet, so he's on some kind of higher fat grain now. But I love that slogan, I think Wonder would approve!
__________

Tina- Frankie seems to have a fair amount of jumping talent, she could be a great hunter but she's a dressage horse lol. But Wonder is really coming along, he'll be great 

I'm always in pain, so it's okay. I just regret I took it for granted being comfortable everyday. I just got to keep riding to keep healthy and happy!
__________


I've been SUPER DUPER busy. Just non stop on the go but I did get to see one of my best friends and we only spent a few hours together but at least we got to see each other. 

Frankie ripped off both of her front shoes, I have NO idea how. She had bell boots on, ground is flat and wasn't muddy, so I've been riding her barefoot and may be keeping her barefoot. She seems happy and is going well. 

Friday and Raphael have been going pretty well. 

Wonder from today.

Right side





Left side


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## DanteDressageNerd

Today I lack patience and am mostly irritated and tired lol. 

Frankie is barefoot now and is going great. I'm keeping her barefoot for now, she seems to be going well barefoot.

I'm mostly impatient with non dressage people or people with minimal dressage experience making extreme judgments and are passionately opinionated about things they don't understand. Especially when they don't know what they're talking about. It frustrates me a lot. I'm sorry but you can't train a horse by reading a book and magically thinking you know it all, I'm sorry you can't bypass all the hard work, tears, or tough lessons if you want to know how to ride well. You also cant read a book and assume you know what the ideal is or what steps to take to develop a horse, I'm sorry horses are not machines and no two are EXACTLY alike. Some are similar but not the same. Many different types of horses with different types of minds and different conformation has a big affect on training and what steps you have to take to develop them to become correct. Sometimes you have to do some unconventional things so the horse understands and learns to develop properly. Sometimes you have to be willing to do what's not "textbook" to do what is right by the horse. I don't "follow the book" I follow what the horse says they need. I get so irritated by people who live in a theoretical world removed from reality while I'm in the trenches. This is what I do every day for a living. I develop and ride horses.

My goal is to have a horse moving over the back and being through and wholly round, not just having the poll at the right point and at the vertical. Yes that is ideal but first and foremost it's throughness, harmony and communication.

New favorite picture with Wonder and yes Wonder is 17h, he's a big boy. I think we're a good fit. The ladies at the barn are very impressed by how far he's come in such a short period of time. Especially the ones who are familiar with ottbs.


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## whisperbaby22

Horses, animals in general drum up a lot of emotions in some people. When confronted with these types, I say, well you have given me a lot to think about. Of course, I grew up without the internet and without any contact with show people. You on the other hand are making a living at this and of course you are upset when people speak of something they know nothing of. Try to keep in mind that your horses will speak for you to those who eventually "get it".


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## DanteDressageNerd

Whisperbaby22- thank you. That is very good advice! I just get annoyed when people are so unfairly critical of others, even when it has NOTHING to do with me. It bothers me when people are so condescending and rude towards others. I know it's just a part of life but it's still something that gets under my skin and I should be above it but I'm not at this point in my life. But I'll work on it. 
____________________

UPDATE

Wonder was AMAZING today, WAY better than last video. Mari and I are just amazed by how quickly this horse is picking up on things. He's amazing. It's like we started teaching him and he just ran off with it. He LOVES it. Every time I get in the saddle he has this energy about him like we're in the sand box, we're going to work, this is awesome! Anytime you show him something new he is so enthusiastic about it, he's like YES let's do it! When the ride is over he almost feels disappointed. I have honestly never ridden a horse quite like him. He's a workaholic. Plus he's super sweet and the more I ride and get to know him, the more "bonded" and close Im feeling to him. He's a super star! I walk him with a stud chain because without it he will just drag me around like a rag doll, with a stud chain no problem. When I say drag, it's a I'm 17h and know it type of mentality. He's usually good but when he finds something he finds interesting there he goes and he's off. 

I also rode Millie (3yr old morgan filly) she was really super. She LOVES to work, she has an amazing brain. She's a bit like Wonder really eager to work and so proud of herself after a ride. She picks up on things pretty quickly, she's awesome. She was pretty tired today though.

Friday is having the angles of his feet changed, so he's on a break. And Raphael is doing well, he nickers whenever he sees men and is very possessive. His stall is next to Wonder's so I usually just take Wonder for a walk or out grazing to spend time with him or I deal with Raphael nickering and pinning his ears whenever I pet Wonder. 

Frankie is doing awesome. We went on a hack around the fields through the indoor and outdoor arena and then out on the road a bit. She was pretty fresh. I tried to keep it light but she seemed really happy and felt like she was having a blast.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Update

Rode 2 horses I hadn't ridden today, both are older and well schooled. Was pleasantly surprised by them as I was told they're 2nd level horses and they really are. Usually when people tell me a horse is 2nd or 3rd level they're usually not quite ready for 1st or maybe 1st. Then when people say it's a 4th or PSG horse a lot of the time it's maybe a 2nd or 3rd level horse. So cool to be told something and the horse be what they are. I appreciate that a lot!

Frankie was kinda naughty today, she was tired and tried to get out of going forward or where I wanted to by spinning which I wouldn't let her to do so she backed. We did a lot of backing today, not on purpose but I rode it out and eventually she went when I asked. She also did haunches in today, we've been introducing it but today she really got it. Left she can do it at walk and trot well and right she needs more help, she has it at walk and a few steps trot but can't maintain it. Plus I have mirrors to help me to assure that she has enough angle or not. But she's really super. She lengthens, has some collected steps and is "schooling" 2nd and it's not pressured or forced, just sort of where she's at. She's not confirmed 2nd. She doesn't have walk to canters down pat, some days she can, other days she's not quite sure. Her canter aid isn't confirmed enough. Plus I would NOT even think about campaigning her at 2nd, lots more work ahead. I need to get a new video of her sometime. 

I also went to visit Wonder and he was pretty in my pocket lol. All I did was walk him but he loved spending one on one time with me. We cuddled and he got head scratches and kisses, he kept kissing me face. He's such a love bug. 

I stopped by the dressage show and watched some which was fun but it made me SO anxious to get in the ring. SO SO anxious! I want to kick butt! I also realized Wonder will be pretty competitive when his time comes and I'm determined to get into the show ring. I never really think of myself as being competitive but when I see the warm up arena, I saw how capable I really am and just want to get in there and campaign my horses. I gotta keep working because I want to kick butt! The judge was very fair, I'd like to show under her one day! She's tough but she's honest and grades accurately. She really wanted to see correctness and accuracy. 

I also had to socialize with people quite a bit and when I'm tired and uncomfortable, my aspergers traits become obvious. I'm SO SO awkward and start doing the robotic, hesitant, unconfident speech and can't make eye contact and feel like I need to apologize because I'm putting off the wrong energy. Then I get even more nervous and more awkward because I second guess everything I do because I'm trying so hard to seem normal but then ALWAYS end up saying what I think is a harmless thing but apparently isnt? I don't know. I get confused and over think it because otherwise no eye contact and awkwardness is 10 fold.


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## frlsgirl

What no idyllic pasture; so pretty!

I still think the sassy Morgan filly is rubbing off on Frankie "hey, next time your mom tells you to do something, just tell her no!" 

Sometimes it's nice to just visit with your horse. I think it lets your horse know that you care. 

I know what you mean about getting all hyped up at horse shows; I like to play dramatic music in my mind like "Roar" by Katy Perry or "Final Countdown" by Europe. It gets me motivated to work really hard during our schooling sessions.


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## DanteDressageNerd

The barn is gorgeous. I really enjoy it here and I like all the horses and like learning about carriage driving, saddle seat and different things I'd never have known otherwise. Like morgan saddle seat I found has a lot more in common with dressage than I knew previously. It's different but a lot of similar aids, just different goal.

lol maybe. There is a very sassy morgan mare in the pasture whose escape is backing up. Frankie backed up into a tree and a plastic thing. She was quite the brat, I think I just have to keep persistent with her and ride it out. Young mares can also be pretty testy but who knows, maybe Grace gave her the idea? I don't tink Millie would, Millie is like hey what do you want me to do? And once it makes sense she tries her heart out. 

It really is. I like just being with them and kisses their noses and giving them scratches and getting cuddles. They'be both TOTAL mama's kids, big babies. 

That sounds great. I enjoy both of those songs! It's really motivating. It honestly gave me a big confidence boost to watch trainers going and being like wow Frankie is going better. A lot of the horses ridden by the FEI trainers were SO tight in the back and jaw. Bracing against the contact and moving much worse than the quality of horses they were. It's sad. It's gotten better than past years but still was kinda like I can do this and be competitive, even if I have to show as a professional.
____________

Alright I admit I don't get why people find lunging so offensive. I really don't. I agree if it's done incorrectly but it provides a lot of value, it isn't "lazy" exercise, it's mindful development. For example I lunge Wonder in draw reins because he is very uphill and needs to develop muscle in the lower part of his back, core and hind end where he is weak. He also needs to learn how to soften to contact vs taking the bit and galloping. Lunging in a good tool to develop a horse's strength, balance, rhythm, response to aids and develop their understanding contact without a rider interfering. A horse just carrying itself and figuring out it's own balance with something to work into. But hey you know a lot of people have been drinking the kool aid for too long and don't look at anything with any kind of objectivity or a willingness to understand. It doesnt "hold the head in place" I dare anyone try using this technique on a horse who hasn't learned how to accept contact and see a horse flip over, I've seen more aggressive holding of a head undersaddle then on the lunge line. It's not about a "head set" it's about strengthening the top line and giving the horse a chance to gain strength without the weight of a rider or having to negotiate a rider's balance. It also can help a horse learn how to take contact or soften to the bit. 

What I use on Wonder works for Wonder but would not be good for a lot of other horses and if someone uses it they need to be aware of their circle shape, their body, being able to bend the horse. Lunging is an art and it's a shame it's so seldom taught correctly that people think it's "evil" when it can be SO SO helpful for horse and rider. 






But whenever anyone asks how we've been able to develop Wonder as well and as quickly as we have, I usually say we did our homework which includes lunging and in hand work.The other things is it takes TIME to develop horses, they don't start going 100% perfectly it takes TIME and patience to develop horses. It drives me crazy when people just want to make things happen, rather than training the horse and developing their understanding of the aids and sequence of aids to educate them.

I also want the vet to have a look at Wonder's SI on Tuesday. He's not 100% though his x rays are clean


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## PoptartShop

That picture of you & Wonder is beautiful!  You look so happy! Frame that!!
Sounds like he gets better & better each time. I'm so glad! And beautiful place too.  Love it.
I hope when the vet checks his SI's everything is OK. I don't think lunging is offensive at all, I actually think it's super beneficial. After all, it starts from the ground IMO!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- I think I will when I can afford to. I don't think I can even buy a frame atm. I'm pretty horse poor lol. 

He really does. He's really coming along. He tries so hard, he has an amazing work ethic! He's a good guy.

I hope something comes up and it's an easy fix, I can't afford to do extensive diagnostics. I hope it's a simple SI injection and all is good. But I agree I think lunging is very beneficial for horses to figure out how to bend and move and come over their back correctly and carry themselves without carrying a rider or extra weight or to balance a rider and can just focus on themselves.
___________

I'm a little sad today. TONS of pricey bills coming up and I'm wondering how I'm going to pay for it all but where there is a will there is a way. I talked to Mari and we agree, I just need a 3rd job. I don't know HOW I'm going to find one but I need another job :-/ And I'm just sort of down in general.

I rode Wonder today and he was lovely. He took a LOT to ride left, right he was fantastic but something just isnt' quite right, so we're doing a lameness exam on him to find out what's wrong. I'm hoping beyond hoping it's a simple fix that's easy to diagnose because I can't afford to do a ton of diagnostic work, so the bill on this one is going to scare me. Plus Frankie's insurance premium and I'm desperate to ride in the clinic with Moray. I REALLY want to ride Frankie and Wonder in it. He's the best clinician I've ever worked with and is absolutely amazing!! The educational opportunities are amazing.

Saw the eclipse with my cats, it was neat and overall I'm not sure what to say, other than Ive just gotta figure this all out because I want to succeed but it's getting everything going that's so tricky. It's a long, rough, at times heart breaking road ahead


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## DanteDressageNerd

Frankie was full of it today, she had a bit of an attitude. Frankie is pretty passive aggressive with her temper tantrums in that when she has an attitude she is slow to respond and doesn't want to respond. I think some of the ladies thought I was hard on her because I asked her to work over her back, not blow off my aids or spook at everything. I was pretty firm with her today and she did get her bottom spanked a few times because she was pretty rude about ignoring the aids and mentally very distracted, so it took a lot to keep her focused, over her back and paying attention. Lot of core, leg and wake up Frankie. She's getting better about the carriages, we went on the road a bit and she spooked at the carriage and bolted. She is a 4yr old mare. She ended up being good and after our hack I could just position and she'd respond off light aids. I HATE riding something that needs strong aids, I won't let Frankie become a switched off, slow to respond horse. I HATE riding that. She's 53% thoroughbred, I was hoping she'd be a bit sharper. Sometimes she's REALLY sharp and hot and awesome and other times she's so lethargic and slow to respond. It frustrated me :-( she was good and she gets shoulder in, haunches in, leg yield, canter transitions have improved. I need to work on walk to canters. Arena is pretty small so she has to be able to collect to canter and trot in the arena. I felt like a German style rider today, I wasn't rough but firm and had to make Frankie toe the line and I felt bad for it but she can't blow off a rider and ignore aids. Turn on forehand corners to help her step inside hind to outside rein and I think it's her laziness and lack of work ethic that drives me crazy at times. I understand she's 4 and honestly I try to hack her regularly and not over school her but that's the aspect of her that makes me question whether or not she has what it takes mentally to make it to GP. I know she has the talent but will she have the drive and desire? I don't know. She needs a lot of motivation and I feel like I have to make her do things at times vs her offering. I mean on a hack she literally backed up 50ft because I asked her to go forward. 

Wonder on the other hand LOVES to work, he isn't as talented as Frankie but he has a work ethic and mental toughness Frankie doesn't. He has the brain and desire. And honestly that's why you see a lot of "plainer" GP horses vs the lower levels you see a lot of flashy, big movers who often times can't collect but talent doesn't mean they have the work ethic or desire which is a MASSIVE part of it. He's also a lot sharper than Frankie naturally. He doesn't need to be motivated, he comes with it.

Millie the morgan filly was awesome today, she's really coming along. I wish Frankie had her work ethic. Millie just wants to learn, succeed and is SO proud of herself after a ride vs Frankie is more like yes I can go back to my stall. And that's why I like Wonder so much, he LOVES his job.

I also rode Raphael who was actually pretty good. He did shoulder in and haunches in quite beautifully for a change. I didn't canter he gave me a bad feeling and I wasn't going to open that can of worms and get hurt.

I also rode Calibre and he was amazing. I LOVE it when I get to ride something schooled that's honest. I got some tips on him from my trainer which was AWESOME!! His canter was phenomenal! His trot is surprisingly bouncier than Wonder's but easier to sit than post. He has a TON of suspension. He's a cool dude and has some stuff to work through but good horse. Had a blast riding him.

Frankie and a carriage and cat


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## Tihannah

Just getting caught up here, although we talk quite frequently! ;-) 

I know how you feel about all the horse diagnostics. You know how worried I was getting about Forrest and then relieved when we discovered it was just parasites. But maybe nothing is wrong with Wonder and he's just having to adjust? I'm sure he's still growing right? Maybe he just needs time to develop? The horse expenses can get overwhelming at times, but we want to make sure our babies are okay. :-( I don't know how you would fit in time for a 3rd job! Have you thought about maybe leasing out Frankie and focusing on Wonder for a bit? I know you love them both, but Wonder seems to be such a great match for you and it could help alleviate some of the financial stress? I don't know how you'd find time for a 3rd job?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- lol it's all good. The forum has been pretty quiet lol.

Definitely. Diagnostics can be EXPENSIVE! I'm praying for a simple fix with Wonder like an injection into the SI joint or something where he can keep working and it's not something that has to be extensively investigated with.

I can afford both atm but I'd be more comfortable with more money and keep my horse's happy and hopefully show next year. 

It's too hard to choose between Frankie and Wonder, if I were in a position to. They're both so fun to work with and in general awesome. Frankie is really coming into herself and could probably do a 2nd level test. No pressure. I mostly hack her but she's doing so well atm. I just love them both and see a lot of potential in both.
___________

Millie (morgan) is going home and I'm actually pretty sad about it. She's finally going really well and is SO SO much better in the contact, now she softens from just leg and an outside half halt and rides primarily off of position. But her family doesn't want to do training anymore.

Here's Wonder feeling his oats. I mostly take these to mark the change in his movement and mechanics as he gets stronger and to keep track of soundness.





Leo should be back to work soon, vet is looking at him tomorrow.

Raphael was good today. He still broncs into canter, so Mari has to lunge me whenever I ask for canter then he doesnt' do it at all. He's such a brat.

Frankie is doing AMAZINGLY well. We mostly hack and ride out but I'll spend 10-15min schooling after our hack warm up and she is awesome. walk to canters have been on point, her haunches in and shoulder in is almost like riding a schooled horse. She does collected gaits and lengthenings. She's a cool little horse. In all of it, it's just position and is like hey Frankie could you do this? It's really nice. I'm trying to get some of my friends to ride her because she's pretty much just had me and one 10min ride by another person.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Just made it back home.

Had an AMAZING ride on Millie. She was awesome. She can do her downwards reaching into the contact and can stretch down easily or gather up easily. Walk to canters left have become pretty solid. Her left lead has gotten so much better. We did some counter canter in which she came into self carriage and was really awesome. I'm so proud of her. She's 3 and really come a long way, she soften when I put my inside leg on and she's in my outside rein where I just half halt the outside rein and she's there. I can entirely give the inside and she stays. I'm very proud of her. She's an awesome little mare. She's made me fall in love with morgan lol. One day I may need to have a morgan of my own, I love the breed. So smart and just awesome work partners. Love to learn, great work ethic, just cool horses.

Wonder was wonderful as usual. He is still REALLY REALLY green but he felt like he was understanding the aids a lot better. Left is still his trouble direction and he is very hard to get to bend through his rib cage and neck and so I often times will carry the left rein in and hold the right rein or outside rein out to help guide him and he is very sensitive so when he head twists it's literally from finger pressure. I'm having him looked at for soundness on Tuesday. He feels pretty sound and he felt really good but I have a gut feeling there is something somewhere and Mari agrees he should be looked at. He stand with his right leg out in front of him and his left hind cocked. I wonder if there is something in the right front because his left front has the tendon injury and I wonder if that right front has some added wear from compensating for it. I also have to tap him on the inside shoulder to help him stand up while I put weight down my outside stirrup. It's a fun dance that won't be solved in a few rides. Sometimes I have to remind myself he's gone one way for years and we'll take every little step forward we can get and will not rush it, correct responses to the aids come first, responding to position, softening to slight aids.

We have a LONG LONG road ahead. He has had 6 wks of dressage training and has been off of the track for 2 months. He's a super smart, eager to work, very sensitive and eager to please guy. His gaits are pretty rough atm but getting better. He wants to bear down undersaddle and we need to strength him over his back. We had a lot of good moments and definitely progress but long road ahead. But thank God he's a joy to work with a ride, he gives me a full body work out!






I've also finally gotten my weight under control. I'm 5'7-5'8 and just under 150lbs atm. I used to be at 140lbs but I guess 148 is okay? I have more muscle now but I have more fat too. I have got to get it under control, I'm losing weight but at the same time I binge eat when I get home after not eating for 8hrs so I'm taking bananas and fruit with me so I'm not STARVING at the end of the day. It also wears me out where I NEED to eat because I've burnt up my fuel and am EXHAUSTED.


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## frlsgirl

I've been following all your "Wonder" ful updates. Glad it's going so well. Sad to hear that the Morgan filly is going home as I enjoyed following your journey with her. Frankie is probably just being a kid. When Ana was 5-6 she would have really good days and really bad days; like her brain would fall out of her head and she couldn't remember anything she learned and all she wanted to do is be silly. I guess it's just a normal phase of growing up. 

About the weight, I would say it's just fine. A woman's weight tends to fluctuate more with hormones and such. I'm down to 145 and I feel fantastic and it's more important to me to feel good then to be a certain size. I'm only 5'4 and my best textbook weight is probably 127.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Thank you. I'm pretty proud of Mr. Wonderful, he has a wonderful work ethic. I'm pretty sad about Millie leaving too, I'm REALLY hoping they'll magically change their mind and she'll be able to stay. She's so much fun to work with. She's opinionated but she's super smart and LOVES having a job. She also drives. 

But you're probably right with Frankie. Some days she's fantastic, other days she reminds me of a teenage girl where she'll be good then she'll be testy and borderline witchy, obstinate and difficult. 

I agree, it's best to be comfortable and find your "happy" weight zone. I don't know what I "should" weight but 140-145lbs feels right for me. I'm small boned but densely muscled. But you're right we all have our place where we're our healthiest and feel well and it's not about a dress size or clothing size, though my biggest fear is growing out of my breeches because I only have 3 and am SO hard to fit :-/
____________

Rode Frankie today. She was very difficult. She started out pretty good then was just explosive, herd bound, spooking at everything, wouldn't listen or negotiate. Would throw a temper tantrum when I wouldn't let her be herd bound, etc. I rode for an hour today and I feel bad because I had to be a lot stronger in the bridle than I usually am but she had to learn she can't just decide to do whatever she wants and she can't just bolt or back up 50ft into fences and spin around just because she doesn't want to leave her herd. It was a rough ride. Early on we had some BRILLIANT trot work where she felt super fancy and awesome then we went into the indoor and it's pretty small, plus the carriages are in atm and it was tough. She's a good girl but I suspect she's going through her teenage phase of testing the waters and it may be hormonally related too. IDK it wasn't a good ride, I got off in a lot of pain, shaking and trying to catch my breath while Frankie was barely winded. SO I'm trying to work out how I can handle the situation better and I just know it was rough but I think I'll have her front shoes put back on, so we can hack out more and get her brain in gear. I'm hurting a lot atm. Frankie was rough on me today but you know Im very thankful my background is in eventing. I'm also really glad my background is in eventing so when she was doing her taking off, bolting toss herself on the shoulder, not listening stuff and could stay with it and ride it out which I think was necessary. I just don't feel good about it. Frankie seemed unphased, I was exhausted I turned her out and she takes off galloping across the field. I also stretched her and gave her a bath in linament.


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## frlsgirl

I'm sorry you are hurting and didn't have a good ride on Frankie. Just think of her as a hormonal teenager, the kind that slams doors and runs up cell phone bills  at least Frankie doesn't have thumbs and can't literally run up your phone bill. 

Ana never bucked or anything like that under saddle but she would shake her head and start side passing to let me know she was about to explode; just really feeling her oats. She spent a lot of time on the lunge line during that time 

It was difficult to not take it personally. I would be like "who are you?" Two days later she would be totally fine again. 

Also Frankie has had a lot of changes in her life recently with moving barns and such. 

Im sure she will grow out of this like every other teenager.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I'll respond soon. Super duper busy. 

Basic update Wonder had his SI injected yesterday, his fetlocks were xrayed (vet x rayed all 4 to satisfy his curiosity, I paid for one xray) because he has a weird growth thing on the front of his pastern, just above his hoof on all 4 feet that none of us knew what it was. My vet more or less specializes in sport horses and lameness and well he had never seen like Wonder has in his front feet, so he had to consult a surgeon who did alot of work on racehorses and well basically the vet has seen this primarily on saddle seat horses with the weights and so we think Wonder was trained at some point in his life with weights that left weird nodules on the front of all 4 of his pasterns. His fetlocks were pretty clean, not 100% but nothing concerning. We blocked him and nothing came up and we decided to inject his SI. The needle was HUGE probably 8in long. It's the only time I couldn't watch because he's my baby. I just love him. 

Frankie is INCREDIBLY herd bound atm. It's a big pain in the butt. She stresses out, she was so bad on the lunge line. We'll say she had a come to Jesus moment and I have never been that rough with her before in all of her life. I'm still kind of shocked because she's NEVER been particularly naughty and she is so **** herd bound. It's obnoxious and annoying. She also took her halter off in the cross ties when left for 30 seconds to be with her gfs. This is the one mare thing I absolutely detest. Geldings almost never get dependent and herd bound like mares do. Millie is 3 and isn't even close to as herd bound as Frankie. It's obnoxious. She sliced my hand

I'm farm sitting, so I'm cleaning all the stalls, turning out, driving the tractor, etc, etc by myself so I worked about 11hrs today. Got up around 5, went and fed horses, swept and mopped the lounge and bathroom, turned out, cleaned stalls, blew the aisle way, cleaned all the waters and filled them, cleaned and filled outside water troughs, put hay in all the stalls. Took manure out with tractor, working on being able to back it down aisle way with the trailer attached, so learning to haul a trailer woot woot. On my hour break between bringing horses in and giving them dinner, I went and saw Wonder to check how he was doing and he's surprisingly doing a lot better. He has SO SO much more swing in his hind end I was stunned. I hand walked him today. Vet said to keep him moving with an SI injection and his walk was a million times better. Swing through his hips and over his back, stride opened up and grew about a foot. I was stunned it took affect that quickly. I can't wait to see how he is in a week! I REALLY hope this makes a big difference and helps Wonder feel better. 

Then I have a short paper due for the class I'm taking due today because I've been super busy the last few days and I'm a master procrastinator with the attention span of a goldfish.


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## Tihannah

So glad to hear you're seeing good results already! The herd bound thing with mares can definitely be annoying. My friend has 2 TB mares and they make her life difficult when she wants to ride one and leave the other behind. They go nuts when they're separated and often times, she has to ask someone to hold one nearby while she rides the other. I don't think I could deal with it.

But I think Frankie will overcome this phase she's going through. She's still so young and Im sure will change in behavior as she continues to mature. Hope your hand is okay! I think you are setting good boundaries with her now and she will eventually realize the nonsense won't be tolerated. ;-)


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## whisperbaby22

When you get the chance could you put up some photos of Wonder's pasterns? This does just not make any sense at all.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- you are absolutely right about Frankie. She is a hormonal teenage girl who has her ups and downs. I've been hacking her with minimal arena work to keep her happy and enthusiastic. 

I'm glad Ana wasn't quite so exuberant lol. But the playfulness is kind of fun.
____________

Tina- It really can be. I think it's just from her having female problems and being needy, poor girl. She's a hormonal teenage girl trying to figure out how to handle all these changes in her life. 
____________

whisperbaby22- I'm working on getting pictures of his xrays. The vet hospital supposed to send it to me. 
____________

Update

I've been incredibly busy. Just non stop go-go-go. Incredibly sore.

Had a lesson on Wonder yesterday which was a bit rough, so I'm doing a ride on my own with him because he was tough. He's MUCH stronger in the contact than Frankie or Millie, I believe from all his race training. It's hard to get him using himself. I did in the end but it took an awful lot.

My friend came down and visited and rode Frankie. I've been trying to get more riders on Frankie now that's she's schooled enough and it's SO good for horses to have different riders on them. Every rider has commented about how soft in the bridle and uncomplicated Frankie is and how honest she is. It warms my heart to see how well people like her. Everyone has said if you ever sell or lease this horse, let me know I want her. The canter everyone has found quite difficult but I explained she is still green and you have to create her rhythm and package her a little more to help her balance. I keep reminding yes she's 4 but she's not that green, shorten your reins. Ride her like 2nd level horse. She's young and needs help but she's not that green. She can school a 2nd level test but she is not confirmed 2nd. I explained some days it's effortless and others you can't do it and that's okay. On days where she's eager to try and do we do arena work and on days that she is not we go out and hack in the fields and have fun to keep her fresh and happy. 

But Frankie ran into a buck and bunch of does on our hack adventures around the fields. The buck spooked at her and Frankie spun round and took off the other direction but I stuck to it and when she came across all the does she watched them and became real stiff in her body but not spook and spinning or taking off. She was a good girl. We also went for a gallop in the fields and she LOVED it. She has a true thoroughbred style gallop, I think she'd love being an event horse. She's very sure footed and gallops effortlessly up and down the hills. She LOVES it. she trots up and down effortlessly. I'd feel safe taking her cross country. She's handy like my old thoroughbred, not quite as bold but I think she could be made to be bold and confident once she is competent. We may start her over some cavaletti, polls and small cross rails. This does not mean she will no longer be a dressage horse or developed, it means I want her to be well rounded and I feel fixating on dressage is not the right thing for her because she gets arena sour and upset if we do too many day in a row of arena work. Gotta keep her happy!

Francesca video. I warmed her up for my friend so she could feel more confident riding her. 






Also some video of the 3yr old morgan filly. She was a bit sassy and actually pretty hot, I kept breathing and was like dont take off, don't take off. But my friend and I took the two girls on a hack around he fields and up through a little trail and we had a really good time. Millie lead the way, she was tense and a little nervous but she loved it and was perfect. She's a good girl.

https://www.youtube.com/edit?o=U&video_id=9S54jepRKEU

Clinic is next weekend which I'm very excited because it's with my favorite clinician. I've been taught in the British style and he's BHSI certified and was an international event rider and is an AMAZING dressage clinician. I learn so much every time he comes around. I feel I'm closer to achieving my goal of being a real professional. I've been able to teach, help other riders and help with their horses. Hop on, fix a problem, let them back on and them able to do it. Gotta develop my horses some more, I need a show record but it's coming. 

Taking an easy today, sore and absolutely exhausted.

Pictures of Millie and Frankie


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## whisperbaby22

I was just wondering about the thing that the vet thought was due to weights, if it only shows on the x rays, don't need to bother. Thanks.


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## frlsgirl

You look great on the Morgan filly! I love her listening ears. Glad you are getting along better with Frankie and exposing her to more things. Going for a gallop sounds like so much fun! Sorry to hear that Wonder is falling down on his new job a bit. It's all still very new to him I'm sure; even overachievers have "off" days where they just can't get it together. I'm sure he'll be back to his wonderful self again soon.


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- it's an odd thing. You can see it without x rays but it wont show on film
_____________

Tanja- thank you. I Love her! She's a wonderful girl, she's sassy and opinionated and I think she may have been on her period but she was a good girl. Brave on the hack, lead the whole way. Frankie is a brave mare. My saddle fitter friend kept commenting on how much more mature, confident and self believing Frankie has become. She's a lot more at ease and happier. The morgan barn is SO peaceful, I love it there. 

I think so. Truth be told I think Wonder is still dealing with stomach ulcers, I'm not convinced they've fully healed. I think they're better but not completely gone. So I'm just going to pay for a full month longer of treatment because he's worth it. This vet bill is going to make me cry when I see it. 
_____________

Here's the thing I don't think most people realize. I've worked very-very hard for most of my life. What I have now I have worked my @ss off for, who I am, what I have done. I have fought for. I've over come a lot of adversity, I have struggled, worked my hands and body ragged, and I am proud of that because I think it was the making of me. It also bothers me at times because when I'm in a group, I will work twice as hard as other people, get ten times more done and usually it's not seen but when it is. I really appreciate it. I almost always will go above and beyond, go the extra mile to make sure things are done right. Call it what you will, I usually say it's the German in me. Always fighting, always struggling and know that triumph will come in time. Just gotta keep working, keep developing and gradually grow and improve. Going to have a lot of unfavorable moments and humbling but the point is to persevere and grow brick by brick to build my way up. Gotta keep at it.

More Francesca video. She was pumped! She had her saddle fitted to her and I was meant to ride Wonder but I'll be riding him tomorrow and hope he feels better but I suspect he needs more gastric stuff.


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## whisperbaby22

OK, I was just curious. Amazing what we find on our horses. I am looking at some weird thing right now but it does not bother him. If it gets worse I will have to haul to the vet.


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## frlsgirl

You look fantastic together. And the scenery is perfect for sales ads. They should turn that the place into a Bed and Breakfast for horse riders. It definitely looks like you are riding through a Thomas Kinkaid painting. 

I know what you mean about working hard for everything you've got. When I came to the US I couldn't get a job. When I finally found one, they would only pay me $4.75 an hour; we were dirt poor and struggling to put food on the table. Fast forward 23 years and life is pretty good today; I'm building my dream house in the country; I have a respected job with my own office, benefits etc and get paid very well. The things I have today are not because I won the lottery or I married a rich man; I worked very, very hard for everything I have and I prayed very very hard for God to open the right doors for me. I started college in 1996 and didn't finish until 2011; but I did it! My new job is very demanding but when my boss asks how it's going my response is "very well, thanks for asking" when on the inside I'm going "I have no idea how I'm going to get all of this done and I don't even know how to do some of things they want me to do, but I will figure this out!"

It definitely takes this kind of work ethic and attitude if you want to make it very far in Dressage; it looks like you are well on your way, even though it may not feel like it right now as you are not out there actively competing. There are lots of people competing who cannot ride as well as you do. When you do get ready to compete, you will be well prepared and be able to move up quickly.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Good luck with your boy, I hope it all gets figured out!
___________________

Tanja- Thank you. She's a lovely girl, if you ever come over this way you'll have to ride her. She's wonderful, everyone whose tried her is like let me know if you sell her, I want her. She's perfect. She's a good girl. And yes it's a GORGEOUS barn, I love it! So peaceful!

Certainly. And you definitely appreciate it a heck of a lot more when you had to work for it, I also think the education is more complete and you work that much harder for it. I'm glad you're liking your new job a lot more and it's coming together, even when you feel like you don't have it together-it really sounds like you do, even if not initially. You have to work it through and there you have it, it's there. The struggle just occurs first.

Certainly. No matter who you are or how talented a person may be, everyone has to work hard to learn and develop. Have to have a good sense of humility but enough confidence to persevere and accept you know today I may suck but tomorrow I'll suck less and a little less and a little less. 

For competition I'm eager to compete
___________________

Frankie had the day off. Millie had the day off. Not that motivated to ride Leo.

But rode Wonder and he was AMAZING!! We rode on our own and he was the best he's ever been. His problem area is connecting his right hind to the left rein both ways. He did shoulder fore and haunches fore both ways, turn on the forehand squares both directions and then we went out for a hack in the fields and he was perfect! Absolutely loved it, he's such a positive horse to be around and work with but for some reason with everyone else he pins his ears and nips. For me he falls asleep in my arms and is just this happy, wonderful horse. I think he's a one person kind of horse and he and I just fit. He LOVES it when I sing Beatles tunes to him, he just falls asleep in my arms while his legs are being iced. He seems to be at peace when I sing to him. His favorite seems to be "Let It Be" which is a favorite of mine but he seems very at peace when I sing that one. He closes his eyes and rests his head. He's such a sweet boy.

He has an amazing work ethic and is highly intelligent, he picks things up very quickly and is so eager to try and learn. He makes it fun, plus his trot is so springy it's wonderful.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright update.

I'm absolutely EXHAUSTED. I've been going essentially non stop for the last few days. 3 days of clinic rides, work, etc just go-go-go. I've only been home to sleep, eat breakfast and shower. I have a lot of changes coming which I am looking forward to. 

I REALLY need to make up Frankie and Wonder's supplement bags. I will at some point have to decide to keep just one of them but I don't know when I'll have to make that decision. My gut feeling is to keep Wonder. Frankie is the "nicer" horse. She is more talented but I just don't connect to her the way I do Wonder. I also think she is a horse who is more adaptable and can handle different situations vs Wonder is VERY much so a one person type of horse. Plus he's my soul mate as far as horse's go and honestly I enjoy riding him more. He's not as amateur friendly as Frankie as well. Frankie I feel like I can put almost anyone on and they might not get fancy paces from her but they'll be safe vs Wonder isn't naughty but he would be in the wrong situation and he also wouldn't move well in most situations for him as well. He is an ottb and the fact that he has NO desire to jump what so ever would make it VERY hard to place him in a good home. I couldn't live with myself if either fell into bad hands. 

Videos from the clinic. Lots of good training information for those interested

Moray says I've done a lovely, very correct job with both horses but now I need to up the expectations of not only them but also of myself.











conversation/riding










Francesca











I don't have any energy to comment. I am absolutely exhausted and ready to pass out. I have no energy atm.

Frankie and Wonder really like each other. Wonder was sad when she left. Apparently he kept calling to her and was sad to see her go.

Sleepy Wonder


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## DanteDressageNerd

I'm still super duper busy. So much going on atm. I have decided I'm seeking a working student/groom type job in Europe. I've decided I don't want to stay in the states and when I can secure a job, I will be taking Wonder with me. Frankie will go for lease because I don't have the heart to sell her. Just thinking about it made my eyes start to water when I was with her. I can't do it. She's such a good girl. The reason I'd take Wonder is because he loves his job and he's very motivated, he's ready. Vs Frankie I think needs more time to grow up, she's good but she's a horse that's very content with herself and who she is. She's not as competitive or driven as Wonder which is why I think Wonder will eventually do the GP. It takes an extra something that isnt' necessarily dependent on talent or how "fancy" a horse is but something inside of them that makes them able. I think Wonder has it. He has a lot of heart and an excellent work ethic, plus he just LOVES his job. It cracks me up to watch his ears flop relaxed and happy. As he goes, you get this vibe from him like this is so cool, I'm cool look what I can do. This is fun!

Wonder is also very sassy, he had an itch on his butt and was swishing his tail and having a little tantrum, so we halted and I scratched his butt with the whip and his lips were twitching and he was so happy lol. I was like you're such a dork Wonder, what gives buddy? Mari says he's a wussy thoroughbred. I say he just likes things the way he likes them. He doesn't like flies at all and has very sensitive skin, he cant help that. He's opinionated but has an excellent work ethic.

Apparently Wonder is upset that I moved Frankie back to the other barn, Wonder LOVES her. And Frankie likes him too. He HATES the mare that's stalled next to him, absolutely HATES her. But he LOVES Frankie, the only other horse I've seen him like almost as much as Frankie is Frankie's brother Devereux. He's on ulcer meds and I took him off outlast but I'm putting him back on. He's been incredibly crabby lately, I don't know what's up with him but he almost bit my side. He didnt' bite hard but he very nearly bit me! It was so quick. He's seen the chiropractor and has a lot out and is doing better but he's still crabby.

Frankie has GORGEOUS walk to canters atm, my boot broke so I'm riding her bareback atm. She's been really super, her laterals are really coming along and she's sitting a LOT more. She's put on a lot of muscle and still has herd bound tendencies but is getting better about it. She's been quite forward and listening a LOT better. She's nicely forward and responsive, she's not as forward as Wonder but nicely forward.

Wonder has come a LONG LONG way since the clinic. He leg yields at the trot almost purely off of position now. His canter transitions are a lot better and his overall posture and self carriage has improved a lot. He's still really strong in the bridle but is getting lighter and softer. He's put on a TON of muscle over his back and hind end. He is very forward. If he gets tired he runs and is very much so a reflection of the rider, he will tell if you've missed a half halt or any little thing in his movement and swing of his back. He's a good-honest boy!


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## Tihannah

You already know I think it would be an amazing opportunity for you to go overseas as a working student. So much opportunity to grow and learn there! I would be so jealous! lol.

The babies just look fantastic. They've both grown so much in such a short time. I know it must be difficult to choose between them, but it is obvious that Wonder is your heart horse. He makes you so happy!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- Thank you. I'm working hard to try to find as many places as possible to hopefully find a place in the next 6 months to go to. My plan is still to take Wonder with me and lease out Frankie. It would be a great opportunity to learn and I honestly don't want to stay in the states for the education I want. A lot of Americans are so stingy about things vs my experience in Germany (limited) I saw they weren't so stingy or treated the horses as though they were made of glass. The horses were horses and the extreme wealthy weren't so out of touch they were practically insane. There are loads of reasons but there is a heck of a lot more opportunity over there than in the states. 

But thank you. I'm SO SO proud of them both. They've come a LONG way since the clinic, especially Wonder. Wonder is sitting a great deal more and doing so much better and Frankie had some really nice half pass today. 
_____________

Small update

Rode Frankie and Millie bareback because my boot zippers broke. So I have to get my boots repaired. And for Wonder I've been vet wrapping my boot which looks ridiculous but is absolutely necessary. Wonder was fantastic today, I have to be quite firm with him in the beginning and it is hard because I have to really set my elbows into my body so he can't rip me out of my position and contort my body. I have to stay very firm in my position and insist he use himself properly then he's great. He feels AMAZING! My favorite horse I've ever ridden, he's spectacular once he's there. He actually did some long and low and took the contact down today, I was very proud of him. He also leg yielded off of position in the trot and a little at the canter. His canter right was amazing. I can't wait to get more video of him because it feels like his movement has transformed again. He's getting so much stronger over his back and hind end, it's entirely changed his posture and he's getting much lighter in the contact. He's a very strong horse, particularly in the bridle but he is a racehorse and they're taught to take the bit, bear down and grip the track while they lengthen out on the forehand dragging themselves forward. So really Wonder is developing the opposite habits and muscles he's used his entire life. New career but I'll say I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he's ready to go 2nd level by next year. He learns things so fast and it doesn't feel like we're pushing him or developing him too quickly. It feels like he's eager to learn and go onto the next step, like he's like okay I got that, what's next? He loves it, dare I say he's hungry for it.

And Frankie had some really good half pass work and walk to canters bareback. I need to get more bend in her rib cage and get her more flexible in her rib cage. Right she's lovely, left isnt as good. If she has good bend her half passes are effortless. 

Leo has a new rider, so I wont' be riding him and Raphael has been an @ss. I'm so frustrated with him. No matter what we do, no progress. He can do a lot of "tricks" but he's unridable so it doesn't matter. He does shoulder in, haunches in, half pass, collected and lengthened gaits. Annoying that he's so dam# difficult. Unfortunately she doesn't have a lot of natural action, she's naturally a daisy cutter type of mover. I have to create elevation and so I'm dabbling into a little saddle seat methods. There is a lot to saddleseat and showmanship I didn't know before when I was more naive but I have come to respect the talent and hard work that goes into producing a morgan park horse and think there are aspects of their program that could help me with developing Frankie. It's neat how much collection and expression they're able to create through education. It's neat. 

Also Wonder misses Frankie pretty badly. He's been a jerk, he almost bit me yesterday and went after his neighbor. double barrel kicked at a horse's stall I walked by. I don't know what his deal is but everyone swears he misses Frankie. He LOVES her. I wouldn't usually say that but I've never seen him take to a horse like he does Frankie. The only other horse he's friendly with is Frankie's half brother, Dev.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad everyone is doing well! And how exciting to look abroad for more learning advantages. Hopefully you find something worthwhile!

Sorry, haven't been in journals much  barely keep mine going most days! But I'm glad everyone is doing well!


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## frlsgirl

Wow those are some major developments and just a couple of updates. I'm happy for you but kind of bummed for myself; I was hoping to drive up to KC soon and meet up and maybe visit Friday...speaking of Friday, are you still riding him? Is he still for sale?

Also, what about school? Are you going to quit school? 

I personally would recommend Germany; that's where the best resources are for developing riders and horses; the best barns, the best trainers, the best horses, and you are right, horses get to be horses there. And I'm not biased at all, lol.
Just yesterday, I was picking bot eggs off Ana's legs thinking that it must appear to Americans that I don't take good care of my horse; but it's so good for her to live outside. I will gladly accept the bot eggs and shredded mane if I can have a happy and mentally well adjusted horse. 

As far as Raphael goes....seriously, have you considered AW? It sounds like he needs a male trainer. 

Could it be that Wonder really misses Frankie so much that it's giving him ulcers? We have a lady at the barn with a gelding and mare; the gelding absolutely loses his shiitake when she comes and takes the mare out for riding and such. He screams his head off and does donuts in his stall; yet when she takes him and leaves her....just crickets. She doesn't care.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- I understand. I'm really busy too and have been slack on keeping up with journals and people in general.

But thank you. I'm proud of both kids, the one I didn't expect to have such high hopes for is Wonder. I keep saying he's going to be the GP horse, I'm not sure Frankie has what it takes. She's more talented and flashier but she doesn't have the heart or work ethic that he does. He's thirsty for knowledge, he needs constant mental stimulation. If I go a day without riding or working him he's a real crab and hard to be around. He has to have a job and he's not really "amateur friendly" at least not right now. He's a really good boy, not naughty at all but he's very strong, willful, very clever and quick. He gets strung out and is gone if a rider can't organize him effectively. But he's a BLAST to work with, super honest, right with you, in front of the leg and really listens. He doesnt' tune out, he's a direct reflection.

But thank you. I sure hope so. I'm gonna keep applying and looking and hope something comes around soon!
____________

Tanja- I think I'll still be around for a few months yet, I haven't heard back on the Denmark job so I don't think I got it :-( but Friday is still available, they haven't put the advertisement up for him yet but a male rider is riding him as part of the deal to convince him to come to the barn. We're actually not in KC, we're about 3hrs east of KC. 

For school I'm finishing my associates out. I've done 3yrs but I have to complete my sophomore portfolio and check in the box for the associates. IF I wanted the bachelors badly enough, I have a year left. But right now I feel is the time to go if I'm going to do it.

And yes Tanja. Germany is my preferred place to go, I've thought about sending about inquiring at the barn I went to in Germany but I don't think I'd be able to take Wonder with me. They have 1500 horses and the riders there ride 9 horses a day and I'm not sure they get much in terms of lessons. But I need to sharpen up on my German, I haven't studied or practiced in a LONG time. But I entirely agree. That right there, what you described with Ana is EXACTLY why I want to go to Germany or Belgium or Denmark or Holland. I'd be interested in the UK as well but would prefer Germany, Belgium or Denmark. People are just too stingy and weird about things, it makes me roll my eyes when people act like horses are made of glass. Let horses be horses, be smart about it but you shouldn't take away their nature. Plus I want to hack out and jump and do something extra with my horses, not just drill in an arena which a lot of programs seem to do and end up burning out and ruining good horses. They need mental stimulation. 

I think he needs a male trainer or someone meaner, rougher and stronger than I am. Even when I'm rough, I'm a tactful rough and I've been told my idea of rough isn't rough at all. I do much better on sensitive types than bully types but even the cowboy said Raphael is the worst he's dealt with. He doesn't quit and he has the arabian stamina. 

I'm not sure. I saw more of what was going on today and I think he liked Frankie as a neighbor but HATES HATES Qiwi who was born the same year as Frankie but has none of Frankie's graciousness or manners. Qiwi is a much more talented horses than Frankie but she's not the Lady Frankie is. But that happens a lot where a gelding becomes very dependent on a mare and the mare could care less. Mares are more independent lol much like women
____________

Small update

Wonder and I went on a hack trotting up and down hills, some cantering but he broke into a gallop and he's not as balanced as Frankie and he's a LOT stronger. I wasn't confident I could bring him back if I needed to. He's a LOT stronger than Frankie. He's a strong ride. Wonder is the sort of horse who is great in the right hands but it would go terribly wrong in the wrong hands. He's really my horse, I don't know how else to say it. He can be a handful on the ground, I usually walk him in a stud chain for a reason. He's not necessarily bad but he has some stallion like tendencies like I have to watch other horses and his expression or he'll kick out. He'll also bite if he doesn't like someone. He pins his ears and makes ugly faces and it's usually just show but not always. He's not like that with me but I've seen that side of him and it's there. Undersaddle he's PERFECT for me, I absolutely LOVE working with him because he listens so well, has an incredible work ethic and is so darn smart and capable. He's very forward thinking and VERY strong. I have to have a very strong leg and core to ride him, I also have to have a stronger upper body to prevent him from pulling because he is STRONG and if you aren't strong for some moments he will snatch the reins from you and rip you out of your position. He's very STRONG, stronger than Dooley the 18.2h horse. Honestly he's a really good horse and I wouldn't describe him as naughty what so ever but I will say he needs someone who knows what they're doing or someone would get hurt on him and it wouldn't be his fault. He's a direct reflection of his rider, if you miss a tiny half halt it's obvious, if you're not firm enough in an instance he's gone, if you dont make him come back to the core seat half halt, he'll take off on the forehand and not listen which for me isn't a problem but it is part of the reason why I'm taking him and not Frankie. I feel safe putting people on Frankie without tuning her up, Wonder I just don't feel comfortable putting anyone else on him atm. Again he's perfect for me, I love him to death, he's an awesome horse to work with but he takes a lot to ride and I can't have him learning bad habits. He's SO smart and willful, allowing him to get away with certain things once could end up in weeks or months of correcting it like he's not spooky for me but he had a moment of spookiness which is a tb fast out from under you spook and if I hadn't been on top of that and quickly corrected it that could have become a serious problem. He's VERY sensitive to emotional energy and would not do well with someone who is rough or unfair. He's a very very smart horse who learns very very quickly.


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## frlsgirl

Oh wow. I would have died on the spot if he had galloped off with me. I just hate that out of control feeling. Plus he is so big; that's even more intimidating.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- yes I was definitely nervous when he opened into a gallop, not a flat gallop but I couldn't bring him back for half the field. And he is FAST. He was a distance horse. And he is. He sticks barely under 17h and has a massive stride, he rides big. Not all horses his size ride big but he rides big. He's also a VERY strong horse and when he gallops he really wants to take the bit and go. His gallop isn't like an event horse gallop, he's trained to take the bit and gallop out on the forehand which I have to re-train his gallop before I feel safe galloping on him. He's not there yet in his training, he doesn't rate how I want him to and he's not strong enough behind to keep himself from pulling on the forehand in a gallop. Frankie has a fun gallop, if I end up leasing her out she might be good for you to look at as well if you come out east. You might really like her. She's a good girl and is very comfortable, she gets bouncier as she gets more animated but she's very good.
_____________

What I'm trying to explain with Wonder is why I'd be taking him and not Frankie. Frankie I feel comfortable putting her in a lease situation, she's very kind and if someone doesn't put the aid on right, she tries to work out what they meant and doesn't take it personally. She needs a kind-fair rider but she's kind about mistakes vs Wonder granted is very green but is like oh you missed a half halt I'm taking off. She's a lot more easy going and she's very content with who she is. She tries and she makes an effort but she doesn't have that drive or extra whatever it is to push and I dont think it's fair to put that sort of expectation on her. I think she'd be perfectly happy with someone kind to ride and enjoy her. Where as Wonder I think would get bored, frustrated and angry. He has a day off and has little temper tantrums and will walk by another horses stall and double barrel kick out at other horses. I'm pretty sure he was gelded quite late. He has too many stallion like tendencies and his jockey club papers show a late geld date. I keep him in check so he doesn't do it but he gives a warning before he does it and if not kept in check, I don't know what he'd be like.

Where as Wonder is very-very smart and has a mind of his own. He's quite willful and so strong. He's the type of horse that needs someone to be firm in their expectation with properly applied aids or he will do as he pleases. He's one who will quickly learn the right thing or quickly learn the wrong thing, so the little details have to be addressed as they come or they will become a BIG problem. And it's not that he's naughty, he's not at all but he's the type that will lose respect for the rider and takes control of the situation. He's also hungry for information and learning. Hungry for it, he's very eager to work and do a good job. His brain is constantly active, focused and really listens. I recently learned even on his days off he needs to be kept busy with mental work. He can't just be left or he's very p1ssy and angry at everyone and the world. I don't think he'd be a good lease candidate at all. Plus he's my heart horse and I think he has something extra about him that I don't think Frankie does. Wonder NEEDS a job, he's a workaholic who thrives on having a job and mental work. The happiest I ever see him is in work, resting, eating or cuddling with me. I think this horse has the potential to do the GP and would love to do it. I've never had a horse this intense before, he just has something about him I can't explain. He wont be a top horse but I cant afford the training itd take to be a top rider or campaign him like that but he has the ability. Again this horse is perfect for me and I LOVE working with him and riding him, he's a BLAST to work with. He's a VERY VERY good horse but I'm taking him because of that and because I don't think he'd be a good fit for a lot of people and I don't want either to be in a bad situation. Especially when this horse is a perfect fit for me.

Wonder is on ulcer meds atm.


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## Tazzie

Yeah, I agree with disliking treating horses like they are made of glass. Izzie lives outside 24/7. She's only locked in the barn to eat her dinner. They have the option to wander into the barn, but no one is making them stay in. She's dirty 99% of the time :lol: we'd both be unhappy if we were at a place that made her stay inside for lengthy periods of time.

And I understand. Both are nice horses, but Frankie would be the easier one to lease out. That and Wonder is your other half. I do hope you find something soon!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I entirely agree. I'd rather see a horse out 24/7, dirty and happy. I roll my eyes for people who have the horses in 24/7 and bubble wrapped, only get out for hand walking. Wont let anyone breathe near the horse when they get on, haven't bothered to desensitize the horse and the people lose their minds when you walk by their horse because they didnt bother to desensitize or expose the horse. Then yell at you for walking by them. Ridiculous, when I was in Germany that would have NEVER flown or been tolerated. They'd have told the people to get over it or at least where I was. I like driving people, they do a fantastic job desensitizing, exposing and developing horses. Incredible horsemanship.

I may end up selling Frankie, I don't think she wants to be a professionals horse and have that sort of pressure and expectation put on her. She's such a good, nice horse and needs to be appreciated for what she is and not someone who is trying to make her into something she isnt. It's like the parents that wants their kid to be a Doctor but the child wants to be a massage therapist. I think she'll do the upper levels but I don't know if she'll go past PSG. It's not a lack of talent but a lack of ambition and drive, she tries and she will work hard but she doesnt seem to take to the work and try to give any more than is asked. It's hard to explain, it's a feeling she gives when youre riding her like she's trying and doing her best because I asked her to. There's no internal drive to thrive. She's sweet and kind, she's really amateur friendly and I think she'd be happier as an adult amateur's horse. It's sad but I think it's what will be right long term. 

And yes Wonder is definitely my other half. I've never met a horse quite like him. He's so smart, such a hard worker, and is such a love bug. I love him so so much.

We're also putting him on a fat supplement because he's not putting on enough weight. It's hard to put weight on him, his coat looks great but he's still thin!


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## whisperbaby22

This is something that must be considered with horses. They can hurt you, and unless you find a way to let the horse enjoy (or have it make sense to them) what they are doing, you are riding a time bomb. It's funny, you and I are at opposite ends of what kind of horse we like, but we do seem to have the same sort of sense about them.


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## Tazzie

Yeah, a regular occurrence with Izzie is "now HOW did you get THAT scrape?!" I'd rather that than a pristine horse. She's never majorly injured herself, just minor things here and there with that hip muscle thing being the biggest we've ever had. I'm sure my show world would puke if they saw how Izzie lived, but we are both FAR happier this way. She's fed, clean area, and endless hay when needed (like when there is no pasture; barn owner is also not against "wasting" bales in the summer if it looks like there isn't a ton of grass). Heck, they get a round bale in the winter, which would be enough for some in our show area to stick up their nose at. I see it as a bed that feeds you :lol: and yeah, I've had people go "is she ok with *insert whatever here*", and I'd say "if she isn't, she'll have bigger issues to worry about than that." or "if she isn't, then I've failed at my job."

Selling may be a good choice. If she's not happy solely doing that, then I think it'd be nice to let her have what she wants. I'm sure you'd find her a good home.

Hopefully the fat supplement works!

I do agree with whisperbaby as well. We had a horse at the barn that they tried HARD to get him to want to do Dressage, but he HATED it. We're talking some gnarly bucks when asked to canter roundly. He HATED it. Buckets of talent, none of the desire. Sold him as a jumper. Placed second out of fifty and LOVED it. THAT is what he wanted to do. Didn't matter he had all the ability to take him high up since he had zero desire to do it.

Izzie is my perfect mount purely because when we're doing arena work she's game, she's happy, and she's willing. But when I want to change speeds and go on an intense trail ride, she'll pick her way down some sketchy hills and love it just as much. She enjoys everything I've asked her to do, which is big for me because some days.... even I get bored schooling Dressage (yes, I said it...)


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## DanteDressageNerd

Whisperbaby22- I think so. They have to love what they do and emotionally be in tune to their person and vice versa I think. I don't think Frankie dislikes her job but I don't think I'm the right person for her. I want too much from her, I expect more than I think she is really able to give me in a way that can be sustained. Her nature is not my nature.
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Katie- Some people are just snobs with their nose stuffed a mile up their @ss about any way that isn't "their" way. Some people are so hooked on tradition and unproven ideas that they entirely look down upon anyone with different ideas than their own. I think it's good for horses to be out on hard ground and allow their tendons/ligaments/bones, etc to adjust to the ground because our bodies adjust based on use. I think it's important they're constantly in motion and not sat in a stall all the time. They need to eat as often as possible, even in small amounts. SO I think Izzie is MUCH better off as you raise her than a cushion, bubble wrap life.

I think she likes her job but I think I'm not the right person for her because I don't appreciate her for what she is, I'm always expecting and asking for that much more and trying to make her that much sharper and more responsive which just isnt' her nature. She's a pretty laid back, go with the flow type and it's sad when I look forward to her being fresh and hot and she just isnt. You have to have the right combination and put them in the job that's right for them! I'm a more demanding rider than I think she needs, with Wonder I don't feel like I have to tell him, I feel like I just have to suggest and he's like what do you want and he's always offering and I'm asking him to give less than he's offering vs Frankie I'm always asking for more and she's kind and honest but I feel like she'll get burnt out and will try because she's asked but not going to give that extra light. You know?

lol well we all need to be able to do a variety of things and perhaps it keeps Izzie fresh to keep doing more than just dressage work. There is a great benefit to a hack or intense trail ride! Hills are great!
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Not long update. Stressed, tired and busy but I've heard back from the barn in Denmark and we're discussing possible arrangements for me to go and possibly Wonder too. If the stay is less than 5-6mon than I can't justify bringing Wonder but over that I can justify it.

My parents agreed to help me BUT I have to sell Frankie as a condition of the agreement. And Frankie is a good girl and she definitely tries and I think she does like dressage but she's not as sharp as I need her to be and yesterday I felt quite rough on her because I was expecting such a sharp response because I want her to be sharp and it stressed her but she was very good. I was also bareback because my boot zippers are busted. She's so good about going with the flow but it made me feel bad. I hate feeling like I have to put that kind of pressure on a horse, I like a horse who offers that sort of work ethic and offers that quick response and sharpness which Frankie doesn't. I can train her to be sharper and more responsive but it feels like I'm on her case about responsiveness and focus which I ask a much greater degree of than an amateur owner would. I want her to feel my position and weight and jump off of my aids and be that fine tuned which she understands my aids but getting her to respond to increasingly subtle aids is not her nature. I think her gifts are as an amateur horse, she's very good about adjusting to a rider's expectations and trying to figure out what a rider wants. I've put other riders on her who just LOVE her and say if you sell her let me know. Gah I don't want to sell her. I really don't. She's a good horse but not hot enough to be fun for me. My favorite kind of horse is one who is so hot it feels like a bottle rocket underneath me but at the same time doesn't get tense or nervous, just is ready to explode from the lightest aids. Frankie isn't like that, she takes things in stride and is very relaxed about everything vs Wonder is relaxed but very responsive and any excuse to go forward he takes vs Frankie any excuse to quit she'll try.

Wonder is my heart horse and I think he has GP potential, my trainer agrees but he's a LOT harder to ride than Frankie. A LOT harder. He has NO desire to jump, he can be a handful on the ground (he can be very stallion-like which is why nobody but me will walk him without a chain), he's VERY strong. He might not look it but he is STRONG. He is MUCH stronger than Dev behind and in the bridle. He is HARD to organize and manage, he's also VERY bouncy which doesn't make him suit the amateur market. A lot of the pros in my area couldn't get the quality of gaits from him either, he's going to take a lot of time and development to get the quality of gaits I know are in there. He's just so weak over his topline and hind end atm. It takes 6mo to a year to see the type of change I'm talking about. And Wonder's only had about 9-10wks of dressage training. 

He is not as fancy as Frankie but I suspect he'll be easier to get tempi changes and piroettes on. He naturally has more hock and knee than Frankie. Frankie is naturally a daisy cutter and honestly I think she could have a real future as an A circuit hunter. Over EVERY fence, no matter how she takes it she has perfect square knees and is just cute as can be over the fences and she moves like a total hunter. VS Wonder has his head in the game and is just SO eager to work. He HAS to have a job every day or he is a handful.

First picture is Frankie, it captures her authentic self. She's a dork.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Update

Didn't ride Frankie or Wonder so far but I'm going to Denmark very soon and very overwhelmed. So much planning and arrangements to make in order to go, so that is all.


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## frlsgirl

That is all....? That is HUGE! So excited for you. You're gonna learn so much. Can't wait to see updates and pics of you riding over there. A lot of riders with big ambitions end up going oversees for training. Guess who else went oversees?

Look how much better she is riding already. She's used to riding big, crooked, slow moving Frisians so she's having to learn and improve her riding skills to be able to ride these fancy WBs:


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## DanteDressageNerd

I'm exhausted. Emotionally drained and tired. I'm very overwhelmed atm! I hope I can share it but I'll probably start a new journal or blog to document my adventures. I don't know in full what's going on, I just know I'm supposed to be there Oct 14 and will probably wait a bit before Wonder comes with me. I really don't like leaving him :-(

Natasha and I are very opposite type riders lol. I do the sensitive, delicate, finese, hot type horses well and HATE riding the big, bullyish, brutish horses. But that's why there are all different riders and styles to fit different horses.

I don't know how ambitious I really am. I don't need to have the world titles but I want to know as much as possible and do the best I can, so I can help my horses out and get the best from them and be as good of a partner as I can be. I LOVE the education. I wouldn't not go for a world title if I had the opportunity but it's not a first priority if that makes sense. I want the education and to do the best I can for my horses. 

Wonder lunging. The reason I lunge him in draw reins is because his weak spot is behind the saddle and in his core, this also allows his to get more swing over his back and more stride. The draw reins are more skills based to lunge in, so you need to be quite aware of how to influence a horse's body to use them properly but it is a good tool for the right horse and can really strengthen their core and topline without a rider or added 165lbs (including saddle and gear which loads weight on their back to support). It helps a TON with Wonder, getting him soft, in balance, stronger behind, etc. He's SO powerful to ride, incredibly powerful like as powerful as the 18.2h warmblood that's how massive and powerful he rides. I can't wait to see what he goes like and rides like in 6 months. He's so strong. What makes him so difficult to ride atm is he has all this power and these MASSIVE gaits and trying to organize them is a struggle, so we shut down some of the movement to get him stronger before getting it day to day. He needs to be stronger to support these massive gaits.

He is a MASSIVE horse to ride. He's 17h but rides like he's 18h. He's MASSIVE and super bouncy in the trot and canter atm. I feel like Im being launched out every stride. He's not comfortable but boy is he fun!


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## PoptartShop

Awww...selling Frankie will be hard, but I understand at the same time. :sad: Denmark will be exciting too, funny you're going on my birthday (the 14th) :lol:
Maybe she will be a good hunter horse!  I'm sure you'd make sure she goes to a great home, after all she is your girly! <3
I know it's a LOT to take in, & a lot to think about. Especially since Denmark isn't too far away at all. It will be bittersweet though. You will learn a lot & it is a wonderful opportunity. I'm excited for you!
So happy Wonder is doing well & you found your 'heart' horse!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- I'm sad about selling Frankie but I've made peace with the decision. I truly believe it's for the best. Frankie would be happier as an amateur's horse, she's not ambitious. She's a good horse and she means well but she isn't internally motivated and without that internal drive, no matter the talent she won't get to GP. She'll do PSG for sure though. I just don't think she has the mental drive to get to GP.

Denmark is a scary adventure. I'm SO SO excited and I REALLY REALLY want to go. I'm so eager to learn as much as possible, it just doesn't feel real and parting from Wonder will be very difficult. It'll hurt, that's my heart horse. I truly get the feeling of never give on Wonder because he'll never give up on me whenever Im around him. He has so much heart and so much try. And on the ground he's my best buddy. I was talking to the chiropractor and he kept looking over from his stall like uh mom, hey mom, mom, mom pay attention to me. Hey you, I see you, come here and pay attention to me. lol it cracked me up. The chiropractor asked how he'll take me leaving and I couldn't talk about it because I started choking up. I know it's not forever but I'm his person and I want him to know he's not being left behind. I haven't left him.

Call a Midwife almost has me in tears. It's a very human show that is making my eyes leak and making me feel like a softer person than I should be. Gives you such an appreciation for life and life experiences, it's so human.

Been riding Milly and Frankie bareback the last few weeks because my boots are still busted and so I pulled out my cheap boots and been electrical taping them. I almost had an autistic meltdown wearing paddock boots. I don't know why it upset me SO badly but I tried it with Wonder since I can't possibly ride him bareback. He has WAY too much power and movement. Plus he's not strong enough for that much sitting trot. Milly has a WONDERFUL work attitude, she's a hard working, fun mare. She has a lot of movement as well. She's developed a lot of power and is a little difficult to sit and organize walk, trot, canter but it was nice to have people say they wish they rode like I do. I don't pay too much mind to compliments but it is nice to hear. Everyone is really excited for me and my opportunity. It doesn't seem quite real but I will make the most of it! And hope it is as promised!

Last lesson wasn't very good because Wonder's right hind didn't seem right and he just wasn't the horse I knew. I told my trainer this isn't my horse, something is wrong and we called the lesson off. He just wasnt right, I had the chiropractor booked for Frankie. So Frankie saw the chiro (she had quite a bit) then Wonder had quite a bit out around his SI. Poor guy was locked up on the right hind.

Wonder after the chiropractor to keep him moving and prevent everything from going back. Chiro said keep him moving! I CANT believe how much his movement changes from day to day. It's incredible! He is a little irregular to start and quick in tempo but improving with swing and movement. Plus that right hind had quite a bit wrong and took some fixing. It's getting better.Poor man.


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## Tihannah

I am SOO nervous and excited for you, but you already know I think this is going to be an amazing opportunity for you and I simply can't wait to share the journey!

I wish I could afford to buy Frankie from you! Her and Forrest would make the best couple! lol. 

Poor Wonder! I hope he's okay. :-( It just seems like one thing after another with our babies. Have you tried acupuncture with him? It could be something that helps? I'm definitely going to get Forrest done soon.

In the meantime, try not to get too stressed out about this move! This is a good thing, a GREAT thing, and the opportunity has so much to offer you! You will find a wonderful home for Frankie, and Wonder will be over there with you before you know it! The facility is SO amazing and I can't wait to see video of you riding over there! It's going to be amazing! Stay positive!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you Tina!! It means a lot to me  it's a big adventure! I'll probably start another journal for it! I'm hoping to be able to stay on a year with them and maybe next month or two I'll bring Wonder over! An American racehorse turns dressage horse, it's a long way to GP!

I agree Frankie and Forrest would be quite the pair of horses to have together! I think you'd really like Frankie, most everyone likes Frankie (how could you not). She's a wonderful girl, nothing bad about her. She's just not a workaholic.

With horses there is ALWAYS ALWAYS something, it's always a puzzle to try to piece them together. Life I guess lol. I haven't tried acupuncture yet, I maybe consider it down the road.

Youre very right, I'm trying but it's hard when I don't know what is on the other end. I'm so excited but scared but I'm looking forward to it and the educational opportunity. I'm looking forward to all I can learn

I talked to the BO and one of the trainers at the barn in Denmark, they're looking forward to me coming. I know a girl who is over there now and has worked for them a year and says they're very fair. They're very straight forward, sometimes harsh and honest but I'm from a German family, so I'm very used to it! I understand that better.

I suspect Wonder may need a seropin injection, he had quite a bit of heat in his back, so I iced it but he also has a muscle that's quite tight I suspect will only loosen with an injection *head desk* always something and I've got to say I'm SO SO grateful my parents are helping me some since I agreed to sell Frankie. I need their help or I couldn't have accepted this opportunity. I'm very grateful for them!

I asked a girl at the barn I trust a good deal and is a very nice young rider to ride Wonder for me while I'm gone. She said yes, so I feel really happy  he'll be really well looked after. She's a really kind girl who really loved and cares about the horses and she rides very well. She's an eventer but is very soft and rides her horses so theyre very supple, confident and free going. She doesn't restrict their movement or hinder them, she works them over their back and rides with empathy. She does a good job and I know she'll do a great job with Wonder.

I almost forgot I took Frankie out for a hack and on a trail ride bareback, then rode Millie bareback and she was a lot of fun. She tried to run off with me a few times but I had to keep her in rhythm and from going too quick. I also got to drive a horse today which was AMAZING! I've never done it before, it was so cool! I appreciate the skill a heck of a lot more! Then I rode Dev who was quite good, needed work to get him moving his rib cage and really taking the outside rein and taking the contact down but he's come a long way since I last rode him! Was a real treat. I'm riding him now until Saturday atm.

I'm not riding Raphael atm. I don't really want to and he's moving barns to grow up and get training with a jumper trainer whose a bit meaner than we are. He needs it. Also learned a lot more about saddle seat training which was very neat, I learned a lot.


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## frlsgirl

Wow a lot happening for you atm. Wonder lunging after the chiro looks totally different; you can tell that he really needed that adjustment. Ana's chiro is coming next week and I'm eager to see an improvement; she always gets her hip stuck to one side and then she can't get the inside hind under her because her body is twisted in the opposite direction. I guess they all have their "thing" like when I go to chiro, it's always my neck and shoulders. Maybe Wonder's thing will always be his back and right hind, or you'll get lucky and it's just a one time fluke and he will be perfectly sound for the rest of his life. 

I'm also very opposite of Natasha, in the same way you are, I'm more quiet and sensitive so that's how I ride in that works well with the hotter, sensitive horses. I still have learned a lot from her and I love that she's learning to become a softer rider.

Happy to hear that you found someone capable who you trust to ride Wonder for you. That's really hard to find. So far I only trust one person to ride Ana and that's the BO; they get along and she rides very similar to me.

Countdown the Denmark is on! So exciting! Hopefully you have enough winter breeches to get you through the season! Get ready for frozen toes and a drippy nose - it will seem like you're going from one extreme to the other; I'm sure it will feel good initially as riding in the heat gets very tiring. 

I'm not surprised about the paddock boot meltdown - you have a lot on your plate, the last thing you need right now is drama from your paddock boots!

Question though about the lunging: how do you keep the draw reins from rubbing the horse in the arm pit area?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- that's an understatement! There is a lot going on atm. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was overwhelmed. 

I agree all horses have their things. Wonder is his back and that right hind and it has been from the very beginning. 

I'm glad she's learning to be a more skillful and tactful rider and developing herself. Always have to respect when someone is working to improve themself 

I'm very picky about who I have ride my horses as well. I'm looking forward to hearing updates on Wonder and seeing his success. He's my baby and I'm glad Kaitlyn will have time for him. She's a really nice rider and she's so excited to get to ride him and was like I'm so excited, he's going to teach me so much lol.

Oh I have no doubt. I went to northern Germany during winter and it was bitter cold, so I can just imagine how it will be in Denmark though I've been told it's milder there than in Germany. 

Oh certainly I think us neurotic, sensitive people notice things a lot more than other people and so we

I guess it just never bothers them *shrugs* Wonder prefers lunging with the draw reins than the regular side reins, it targets his weak spots and allows him to relax more. He doesn't relax into side reins as well.

Over all just exhausted and overwhelmed and tired. Here are some pics from riding Frankie today. Still bareback atm. She worked me really really hard today, didn't want to engage her right hind and connect to the left rein. Had to be a bit rough with her to get her to just bend through her rib cage and come around my leg. She just didn't want to. It was a lot of riding and hard work. I'll just say the ride today confirmed that I'm making the right decision selling her. She's beautiful, absolutely gorgeous and capable but the temperament and personality isn't the right fit for me. She's the type who wants to quit when the going gets hard and tune out and quits trying. Where as Wonder when it gets hard he has a whole heck of a lot more fight in him. For Frankie if it's not easy and immediately accessible she tries to quit.

But here's the thing when developing horses, especially young ones you have to be willing to address the issue head on and make the expectation clear to them. Even if it's rough or looks ugly because that's how you develop and train a horse that is willing, light and responsive. Fiddling with the issue always trying to play nicey nice without ever addressing the issue confuses a lot of horses and creates a bigger issue long term. It's much better to address the issue, get it over with and move on. I may start riding her in spurs to address her rib cage and lateral suppleness because she was being a real witch about it and had a temper tantrum about moving her right hind over. She doesn't hurt, she just doesn't want to work that hard and gets mad when she's called out on it.

Millie leaves on Sunday, today we had our best ride ever and and I got to drive her on Wednesday. She was amazing and a lot of fun to drive, then I drove through cones on a school master and basically suck at it lol. But it was a lot of fun and I have a lot more appreciation for the skill! She's very exuberant about her work and LOVES to learn new things. I keep saying if Frankie had Millie's brain it would be a different story. Frankie has a good brain but she isnt' a worker bee. If it's not easy Frankie loses interest and gets mad when she has to work harder than she wants to vs Millie is so eager to work, it's just fun for her and she loves to learn and do things. 

We've also been dabbling in natural horsemanship and been doing trailer loading and things with Frankie, she's a good girl and understands. She partially self loads.

Wonder definitely needs his back injected. He has a muscle that is so tense and sore the muscle relaxers arent' helping at all. I feel so bad for him. I have NO idea why he's so sore unless it happened when he pulled himself out of alignment and being put back together made it worse. I have no idea but the muscles on the right side are SUPER tense. He can't even canter on the lunge line. Massage doesn't help that much. He just needs the muscle injected so it'll release. I feel so bad for him and will not work him until he feels better. What I love about Wonder is his enthusiasm towards work and his wonderful work ethic. He's telling me he's hurting so I listen. I have no idea what he did or what happened, I just know he's hurting and I have him on muscle relaxers atm, so it hurts less and he's more comfortable. Horses tell us how they're feeling and where is hurts or what's going on. We just have to listen and understand them. They don't speak human and we dont speak horse, so we have to find a language where we can understand each other's communication style, so we understand each other.


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## frlsgirl

You got some seriously mad skilz schooling Frankie bareback!

Sorry Millie is leaving; sounds like you've grown quite fond of her? Morgans will do that to you; they suck you in, lol. 

I agree with your statement about confronting problems head on. I'm learning when to insist on something and when to let it go. Ana threatened to rear the other day when I asked her to leg yield along the wall. She is fine with crossing her right hind over the left but she says that she can't cross the left over the right. I understand that she needs a chiro; and he's coming on Friday, but I was just asking for one step, she said no, I said really? and she said no again this time lifting off the ground I was like really, you would rather stand on your hind legs which is really hard then cross your left leg over the right, and she said fine, here you go, lol. So yeah, you have to push a bit without fear of the confrontation, and then let off as soon as they give you what you want.

Back injections for Wonder? That sounds really painful. Poor dude!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I ride bareback fairly often. I guess I have quite a good seat, I think riding bareback and becoming confident in your position is important. It has some limiting factors but it's helpful too.

I have. I like Millie quite a lot. She's not a super star talent but she has a great heart, incredible work ethic and is very intelligent. She was a lot of fun to work with. Could be tricky but she meant well.

Your example is exactly right. You can lift up but you can't step over with your hind leg? Exactly, sometimes you have to hit that point and help see them through, so they really understand. Sometimes it's a tactful approach, sometimes it's a hey no you dont' get to control the situation and choose when to try and when to quit. You're working less than an hour a few days a week, I work x amount of hours to feed you just try!

Wonder is doing better, he's still super tight in his back and so I'm going to have his back injected. My trainer wants his back x rayed but it's up to the vet whether or not we need to. I need to be conservative with funds, especially since I'm taking an extended leave! Board on two horses at the fancy barn is going to kill me, thank God my parents are helping and they'll take what they loaned me once Frankie has sold. They're helping because they want me to pursue this opportunity and becomes as skillful as I can in my chosen trade.
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Not much of an update Wonder's back is still sore, not as bad. He's on muscle relaxers until the vet can see him. I think it's from the adjustment, he was REALLY out. I lunged him a bit today to help loosen them because trust me, as someone who was a super athlete if something is really sore it's best to work some. NOT hard but enough to get it moving, stretching and working. Doing nothing is among the worst you can do, it'll just make it tighters and tenser and lock up.

Wonder playing September 19





Frankie video bareback, she really doesn't want to bend through her rib cage and completely give in her body. Laterally stiff. She didnt want to engage her right hind because it's hard for her. This is the sort of stuff you have to work through to have a light, responsive horse. You have to address problems, rather than cover them up so people comment how you want to hear. It's about training and educating the horse on how to respond so you can be lighter, softer and clearer in your communication. It's all it is. Riding is about communication in an increasingly efficient way.

In canter she tried running off with me because she didn't want to engage her hind end and carry herself, she wanted out. It's easier to run and drag on the forehand than to engage from behind, carry herself and be in balance. She doesn't want to work that hard. It'll be easy for her as she gets stronger but frustrating at times. This day was a work through it, even though it's hard sort of a day. On one hand she tried to run off at the canter, on the other she wasn't listening to my aids or as responsive as she needed to be. 529 she had a temper tantrum and I was like no move your right hind over, I know it's hard but you've got to work it out.


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## Tihannah

You already know how much I love Frankie! She's just stunning and you've done such a great job bringing her along! If I could, I would buy her before you went to Denmark! 

So sorry to here about Wonder. Poor baby, but I know you will figure it out. You know I can totally relate! ;-)


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## frlsgirl

I always thought that horses struggle with lateral stiffness partly because the saddle gets in the way but if you are having the same problem bareback, then I guess for once the saddle is not to blame. That's the big thing that Ana struggles with; her ribcage is like a block of cement and she does not want to move it for anything except of course a carrot stretch. 

That's great that your parents are being so supportive all of the sudden especially considering that they haven't always accepted your chosen career. 

About your mad bareback skilz - did you ride the Morgan filly bareback by any chance? I have trouble getting my legs to close around Ana because her barrel is so small so riding her bareback feels very unstable to me; just not enough meat to hang on to.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- She's a great mare. I love her to pieces, I just think she'll be happier as an amateur's horse. She was awesome today! Thank you. It's been a TON of work and lots more to do but I hope her new mommy will love her and be thrilled with her and appreciate her the way she deserves!

I know you can. Gotta love these high maintenance fellas right?
___________

Tanja- Sometimes its just them having stiffness somewhere. Think of it like yoga, some of us are more flexible than other and at different spots. Dressage is like horse yoga lol. It require a great degree of flexibility and strength. But I understand that's how Frankie feels to the right like a cement block.

I think they've realized this is my passion and it will always be a part of my life. I think they figured either get on the train and help me succeed or watch me struggle and regret their decision not to help. They understand now.

I rode Millie bareback for 2 weeks too. I was not as secure on her. Very hard to stay with her, especially with how difficult it is to get my leg on her. 
___________

I rode Frankie today in a saddle. We put all 4 shoes back on because I'm going to be selling her and she needs the support. I put spurs on today to help her move her rib cage and really get her to move over. Canter right I got her pretty good a few times with the spur on purpose to get her to move her rib cage and step under. It took a bit but she was eventually able to and had some BEAUTIFUL canter moments. Way better than last ride. Left we had good moments as well but it all stems from that right hind engagement. Left or right it's the same thing, right hind. We did more lateral work, shoulder in, haunches in, half pass, leg yield, etc. She's becoming more flexible but still a long ways to go.

Wonder lunging over cavaletti, again to help with loosening up his back. He felt a lot better afterwards. Tomorrow the vet will look at his back. Mari wants me to get x rays before I go, so we know for sure what's going on with his back because he's had to be adjusted so many times and the muscle is as tense as it is. It's gotten SO SO much better but I hope we can get to the bottom of this and figure out what's going on. He used to not even be able to canter on the lunge line!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Update

Wonder saw the vet today. He had more x rays, of course clean or not concerning. So far we've x rayed knees, hocks, stifles, and back. We ended up injecting his right stifle. Vet says after he's healed keep doing cavaletti work with him to strengthen his back and stifles as much as possible. Wonder has 2 days off and light work on the 3rd day then back to full work. He's being kept in a paddock until the 3rd day. He needs level ground and no running or being silly. I'm thinking about putting him on adequan once Frankie sells. I think he needs it.

I got a lot of opinions about me selling Frankie. She's 4, give her time to grow up, don't write her off, how can you sell her? etc, etc. Frankie is 4, I know and things do change but the core of who she is. When I ask for the extra 5% from her, she wants to quit. She doesn't power on and say hey let's work this through, she's always looking for the way out and she does try, she definitely means well but she is not a worker bee. That isn't her character and there is nothing wrong with that. For me it isn't worth trying to push her on when I dont enjoy riding a horse that it feels like that. Someone thought I was expecting too much of her, etc, etc. And I said I have to test whether or not she has what it takes to be worth the investment and she doesn't step up. Her natural reaction is to quit and give up, even with encouragement. She knows what the expectation is but doesnt want to work that hard unless you leave her no choice but I think she will be MUCH happier as an amateur horse. I have no doubt she could do PSG-I1 but I question if she has what it takes for the GP. She might and she might not but the amount of money and time it takes to get a horse to that isn't worth the risk for me. She's very talented and very lovely and very kind and a good mare but she needs a different horse mom. She is shown something new and wants to shut down. She's not an especially confident horse and prefers her time in field to being on the job.

Wonder has a big heart and so much try, show him something new and he hits the ground running ready to do better than he did the day before. Show him, teach him something new and he is so enthusiastic about it, he's a blast to work with and a great teammate. Where he's asked, he steps it up and does his best. He doesn't need encouragement, just guidance and shown a direction. He's harder to ride than Frankie is, he's a lot more to organize and ride but he has such a good attitude about it all. Where as Frankie is like how dare you ask me to move my rib cage, how dare you make me work an extra degree. Why do I have to go forward, ugh do we have to trot again, wait did you give me an aid? I want to do the right thing but ugh it's so much work. 

I also want to clarify the decision was not easy for me and still isn't but I think this is for the best. I wish I didn't have to sell Frankie, I do but I can't afford two horses especially while out of the country.


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## knightrider

Frankie sounds like my daughter, who is 15. "Ugh, this is too much work. Why do I have to do this? I'll do it but you can't make me like it."


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## whisperbaby22

Funny, I am in the same situation - sort of. I picked up a project horse this summer with the intention of selling. The more I work with him the more I like his temperament. And temperament is so important with a horse. Right now the plan is to work with him a while and then sell, but since I own him I do have the option of just keeping him. Hard decisions, whether to sell or keep our horses!


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## Tazzie

Hopefully you find the perfect home for miss Frankie and all of your travel plans are falling into line! You leave on Saturday, right?? Make sure to take deep breaths!

And hopefully Wonder can make it out there with you as soon as possible! I know you'll miss your special boy until he arrives!


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## DanteDressageNerd

knightrider- lol pretty much. She will work hard if she sees the point in it but she wont just work hard. She has to see the point.
_____________

whisperbaby22- That it is. I have no doubt in my mind now that the right thing is to sell Frankie. I think she wants to be a hunter. She LOVES to jump. I've never seen her so happy. It's what she wants to do and she's built for it, so it's easy for her. She has GORGEOUS form over a fence. Textbook hunter.
_____________

Katie- I think we will. I think she wants to be a hunter, she doesn't want to be a dressage horse. She tries but she just doesn't care or enjoy it that much. But I leave Friday morning, so not much time and a lot to do! 

I sure hope so. I have a hard time leaving him, he's my special boy! He's my dream horse and I didn't even know it. He's everything I didn't know I needed. He's super intense, his brain is always busy. He uses it all for you which makes him intense to ride, definitely a professionals horse. Can easily learn the right thing or wrong thing and he just wants to learn, he's hungry for it. I've never met another horse quite like him.
_____________

I don't know if I'll have time to read or check on other threads, I'm incredibly busy. I've hardly been home at all. I'm sleep deprived and exhausted. Lots of work and preparations.

I taught the girl who will be riding Wonder while Im gone, it made me realize how tricky he is to ride because he is a professionals ride. A rider has to be really steady in the contact and ride from position and seat, move too much which can be a mm and he is gone. He's VERY VERY forward and extremely sensitive. The girl that rode him is used to a sensitive horse but she said Wonder is sensitive in a way she didn't know was possible. In canter you cannot touch him with the whip or leg, you have to put weight down the outside seat bone and mentally project what you want. I swear he rides off of mental projections. I hadn't taught in a while so it gave me a better way to think about things. He's really hard to ride, if you put too much pressure down your fingers which can be a thought of putting pressure in the fingers he will flips his head and put his nose to the sky. He's tricky, I had no idea he was as tricky as he is because he doesn't do that stuff with me. And the girl is a very good, capable, athletic, sensitive and empathetic rider. I chose her because I think she has a ton of potential and ability, plus she's appreciative and always open to learn which is why I think she's as good as she is at 17. Plus I've been given so many opportunities I wanted to give back, she's SUPER excited about what she'll learn from Wonder and I told her whenever he is fussy, ignore his head and ride his body. Focus on using your position. He rides almost purely off of position. He listens. She was stunned by how sensitive he is to leg yield. I was like just put weight into your outside stirrup and mentally project the movement. She was like omg I can't believe it. 

Then yesterday he was insanely hot. He had back bell boots on which was HARD to get him to wear. He HATES them, I was told he double barrel kicked all the way from the field to his stall. And he's a powerhouse, so trying to keep hold of him without a chain is impossible. 17h and he can tank off with you like you're a rag doll. Undersaddle if I moved even a mm or did a hair too much he was in blast off run away, bolt mode. He's feeling good after his injection and moving really well. The girl watched and said she learned a lot watching, I wanted to put her back on him but he was literally taking off from me not being still enough. We ended up walking a lot, then I went to trot and kept him slow and he was good but we rode over an hour and he was not tired at all. He's INTENSE. He NEEDS constant mental stimulation and to be challenged or he will make up his own program. You cannot drill with him, he's a professionals horse he needs to constantly learn and be mentally stimulated or he's more than a handful. I was so thankful I'm a former event rider because he literally ran off with me a few times and from very minor mistakes but wowza I'm so excited to develop this horse. He's an INTENSE horse, he needs a job all the time. He is not something you could throw in a field, he's a busy body and NEEDS a job. Total workaholic, perfectionist.

He's an INTENSE horse, I've never met a horse quite like him. He's one of the smartest if not the smartest horse I've ever worked with. He figured out how to do a shoulder in in 5 minutes. The girl who will be riding him said it was really good. I was also told Wonder is a weirdo which he is but he's just neurotic. He knows what he likes and what he doesn't, he wont tolerate what he doesnt. He knows he's 17h and powerful.

Also Frankie and Wonder are pasture buddies and getting along really well. They were shoulder to shoulder grazing last night. 

Can't update on much else atm. I'm out of time and close to passing out. I leave friday morning. I don't know if Ill be able to update between now and then or not. Depends on what comes up.


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## frlsgirl

Fairwell. Save travels. Hoping you will post some updates from Denmark.


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## Rainaisabelle

Safe travels! Send loads of updates, really proud of you for following your dreams!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Just a short update

I have been in Denmark for about 2 months now. I ride almost daily and receive regular instruction and lessons both in hand and undersaddle. It's been a good experience. I am not allowed to share any photos or videos of the horses, it's a private facility with private instruction which is why there will be no pictures, video or names mentioned. I have decided I don't want to stay past 3 months because I've decided to keep both of my horses and campaign Frankie for the FEI 5yr old division. I already talked to my trainers about it and they're excited to get me competitive. The fact is in this business no gives a f* what you can do unless you have it on your show record or paper, that's how it is. I also need to look for opportunities on schoolmasters because no one takes you seriously until you have at least shown PSG, regardless of what you've schooled or if you can develop horses. They're more impressed with someone who can push buttons on a made horse but cant ride a young horse at all than someone who can develop a horse but doesn't have the paper to prove capability. It's sad but that's reality. It's the paper that counts unfortunately. Things are going to be changing when I get home, both kids are learning a lot more in hand and will be learning to piaffe and spanish walk which will take time to teach but is important for them to learn. It's not too early for them to learn leg lifting or gradually develop it. The 5-6yr olds here passage and piaffe very well with changes and proper half passes.

I've definitely added more tools to my belt and have been shown where I need to be much stricter and put more pressure on my horses. Most of my tools are really for riding very hot-sensitive horses, so adjusting to horses that are not very sensitive or hot has been a struggle and very frustrating where I've almost cried quite a few times from feeling like such a useless piece of sht.

I've had a lot of issues with allergies and have to be strict about being gluten free or I get really sick. I mean bad inflammation, bordering migraine headaches, my whole face swells up and I get really itchy-cystic acne like [email protected] on my face, it's mostly cleared up since Ive been strict about being gluten free, so when I get home I'm going to take a full allergy panel to work out what all is going on. I've honestly had nothing but pain and stomach issues since I've been here. It's so weird, I'm usually not this much of a problem but man oh man I pulled my back muscle while here which is not totally healed and is incredibly/surprisingly painful like bend over cant breathe, eyes water. And I can't take an anti inflammatory which will help it because then my stomach and inside cramp up and swell and I'm in even more pain, so have to pick my battles with my health atm. I'm going home Jaunary 10th. I don't know if I'll really return to the forum then or not. Might give occasional updates but when I get home, I gave up all my rides so I'm going to need to find some new jobs to afford Wonder and Frankie.

Wonder had to be separated from Frankie because he bit her throat before I left and he was a problem child for about a month after I left. I cant wait to see him, he's one of the few horses I'd say is truly a one person only kind of horse. He's a VERY hot, very intense horse who is incredibly powerful. He's many times more powerful than Frankie. He's very hard to ride. I helped the girl whose riding him before I left and I'll just say he's very-very quirky and very-very sensitive. She's a really good rider but he's insanely sensitive. I had to explain in canter you absolutely cannot touch him with your leg or the whip. The whip is ornamentation with him, just imagine you're stepping over. It's totally in position because if you touch him with your leg even accidentally he just bucks and takes off. He's super hot and not in a tense way but like a powerful runaway steam engine.

I was pretty depressed when I first came here. I felt like a fish out of water and really out of place. I had some confidence boosts when the trainer and his wife actually said of all the girls they've had come I ride the best which is a HUGE compliment coming from a two time olympian. They were really happy when I came because I rode a lot better than they expected, so that was really good. I really like the trainer, he's super nice plus he's a big Queen fan so can't go wrong with that. Its a good place with good people, I like the people I work with. Their rider is good and very nice/down to earth. Another girl here almost went to the pan am games but her horse died after they flew him out :-( she's super nice and down to earth too. She says she's like a former child star everyone forgot about lol.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Just a short update

I have been in Denmark for about 2 months now. I ride almost daily and receive regular instruction and lessons both in hand and undersaddle. It's been a good experience. I am not allowed to share any photos or videos of the horses, it's a private facility with private instruction which is why there will be no pictures, video or names mentioned. I have decided I don't want to stay past 3 months because I've decided to keep both of my horses and campaign Frankie for the FEI 5yr old division. I already talked to my trainers about it and they're excited to get me competitive. The fact is in this business nobody gives a f* what you can do unless you have it on your show record or paper, that's how it is. I also need to look for opportunities on schoolmasters because no one takes you seriously until you have at least shown PSG, regardless of what you've schooled or if you can develop horses. They're more impressed with someone who can push buttons on a made horse but cant ride a young horse at all than someone who can develop a horse but doesn't have the paper to prove capability. It's sad but that's reality. It's the paper that counts unfortunately. Things are going to be changing when I get home, both kids are learning a lot more in hand and will be learning to piaffe and spanish walk which will take time to teach but is important for them to learn. It's not too early for them to learn leg lifting or gradually develop it. The 5-6yr olds here passage and piaffe very well with changes and proper half passes.

I've definitely added more tools to my belt and have been shown where I need to be much stricter and put more pressure on my horses. Most of my tools are really for riding very hot-sensitive horses, so adjusting to horses that are not very sensitive or hot has been a struggle and very frustrating where I've almost cried quite a few times from feeling like such a useless piece of sht.

I've had a lot of issues with allergies and have to be strict about being gluten free or I get really sick. I mean bad inflammation, bordering migraine headaches, my whole face swells up and I get really itchy-cystic acne like [email protected] on my face, it's mostly cleared up since Ive been strict about being gluten free, so when I get home I'm going to take a full allergy panel to work out what all is going on. I've honestly had nothing but pain and stomach issues since I've been here. It's so weird, I'm usually not this much of a problem but man oh man I pulled my back muscle while here which is not totally healed and is incredibly/surprisingly painful like bend over cant breathe, eyes water. And I can't take an anti inflammatory which will help it because then my stomach and insides cramp up and swell and I'm in even more pain, so have to pick my battles with my health atm. I'm going home Jaunary 10th. I don't know if I'll really return to the forum then or not. Might give occasional updates but when I get home, I gave up all my rides so I'm going to need to find some new jobs to afford Wonder and Frankie.

Wonder had to be separated from Frankie because he bit her throat before I left and he was a problem child for about a month after I left. I cant wait to see him, he's one of the few horses I'd say is truly a one person only kind of horse. He's a VERY hot, very intense horse who is incredibly powerful. He's many times more powerful than Frankie. He's very hard to ride. I helped the girl whose riding him before I left and I'll just say he's very-very quirky and very-very sensitive. She's a really good rider but he's insanely sensitive. I had to explain in canter you absolutely cannot touch him with your leg or the whip. The whip is ornamentation with him, just imagine you're stepping over. It's totally in position because if you touch him with your leg even accidentally he just bucks and takes off. He's super hot and not in a tense way but like a powerful runaway steam engine.

I was pretty depressed when I first came here. I felt like a fish out of water and really out of place. I had some confidence boosts when the trainer and his wife actually said of all the girls they've had come I ride the best which is a HUGE compliment coming from a two time olympian and they are not people to hand out compliments freely, so I was told to cherish that compliment like gold and remind myself of it whenever I lose confidence and feel awful. They were really happy when I came because I rode a lot better than they expected, so that was really good. I really like the trainer, he's super nice plus he's a big Queen fan so can't go wrong with that. Its a good place with good people, I like the people I work with. Their rider is good and very nice/down to earth. Another girl here almost went to the pan am games but her horse died after they flew him out :-( she's super nice and down to earth too. She says she's like a former child star everyone forgot about lol.

I miss my horses like crazy and you have NO idea how badly I want to ride my horses again. Wonder is my heart horse, he fits me perfectly. Were just so in tuned to each other. and Frankie is SO much more sensitive than the horses I ride here, so I really miss that! The trainer looked at both horses and said they're both quite nice but really likes Frankie's canter, so that's pretty cool! And says when he teaches me new things and this will help you with your horses at home. I'm really thankful he makes time for me the way that he does. So thankful. When he's here, he tries to make time every day for me to have one on one time with him. We're also breaking a horse, so we're doing a TON of on the ground and in hand work with colts.

I also rewatched some video of a clinic with Wonder and the clinician said will he be an international quality horse, I don't know only time and training will tell but there is no reason why he can't be an upper level of Grand prix horse if that's what you want to do with him. I forgot that but I REALLY hope I'll be able to. Instruction and help will be key...and money. I'm way too short on money to do the things I'd really like to but I'm going to have to be creative and do the best I can with what I have. Overall I'm SO glad I came!


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## Rainaisabelle

I am glad you have had all these opportunities and have learnt so much! I bet your horses are missing you loads and I am a bit sad that you can't share any photos or videos but I am so happy for you.


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## whisperbaby22

Good to hear from you. I am glad you are keeping Frankie, you can always lease her out - she's a fine mare and anybody would be lucky to ride her even for a little while. Your reasons are good, you need these horses to further your goals. You can't lease Wonder, and you never know with horses. My project horse is STILL with the worms, and if he were to colic badly now I would have to let him go. I knew he was in bad shape when I got him and I am OK with this, but then all the work I've put into him would be down the drain. You just never know, and keeping Frankie as a back up is a good idea.


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## PoptartShop

Glad to hear from you.  & keeping Frankie sounds like a good plan. I am glad you are learning a lot & having a good time though, these opportunities don't come often!  Your horses will be so happy to see you when you get back. :smile: & you'll have a ton of things to show them & teach them too.
The trainer sounds wonderful too. So happy for you!


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## Fimargue

Sometimes we have to go far to see close 

I'm also good with horses that are sensitive and reactive. They are not as forgiving, and many people, no matter what level they ride at, cannot feel and ride them. Warmbloods are often less reactive and more forgiving than Arabians and Thoroughbreds - except the Dutch, that's why I have liked them the most, because there is a lot of TB blood in there.

I'm glad you are showing people that an OTTB can do dressage as well as a horse bred for it.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Raina- Thank you. The kids are doing well 
_____________

whisperbaby22- I hope your project horse is doing better now! And yes. I think keeping Frankie is for the best for right now, especially with how much time I've put into her and her quality and good personality. I love her and miss her too, Wonder I want to keep forever and may have to find a viable lease situation for him to make it right.
______________

Allison- I miss them terribly and am not sure when Ill be going back to the US. It totally depends on so many factors, it is out of my hands which is a very awful feeling. 
______________

Fimargue- Yes Wonder is really talented, even over here he is considered equally as quality to a lot of the purpose bred upper level horses. He just needs to get stronger and the question of his soundness and dependability that way as he goes up the levels. It's hard to say. Warmbloods, it really depends. I've ridden some that are much sharper/hotter than a tb or arab and can be just as quirky but you can usually work through it which is important. It just depends. I think everyone has a type and a certain knack for different qualities 
_______________

Alright update

I have decided to stay in Denmark and am applying for visa. I was planning on bringing Wonder over but have since decided it'd be smarter to bring over Frankie and if need be sell her in DK. I cant afford to bring Wonder over, especially because I know if I need to sell him there is no money with him.

My allergies are under control (finally) and my skin looks fantastic. Been eating super healthy, no gluten. Oatmeal and coffee in the morning, eggs, avocado, tomato, cheese, chia seeds, soy and minimal sugar. I LOVE danish black liquorice but cant have too much or I get light headed and dizzy. 

I've also met a man who I can actually see a future with and he has expressed similarly to me. I see a future with him and want that, taking it very slowly. We are on the same page with what we want long term. He's a good man and sees me as I am and I see him as he is, getting to know each other is an interesting process. I feel at ease with him and trust him which is super hard for me but hes super independent and does his own thing which I like and makes me confident in him. I feel like I can tell him anything and vice versa without restriction, just openness. It's different from anything I've ever experienced, it's calmer and less stressful, more of an acceptance or openness without obsessiveness or neediness. Just an understanding on a deeper level, like when you meet someone and for whatever reason you just know youre much the same or somehow, someway in each others lives for a reason which he has said too. I don't know how else to describe it but Im curious to see how this progresses. Im being careful not to get too many steps ahead but I'll say I find comfort and security in him and am enjoying the process. I am happy he is in my life and no matter what happens I'm so grateful to have known him and hope he is in my life for years to come.


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## whisperbaby22

Well this is all good news! Of course, I was saying all this about Frankie because i could see how conflicted you were about selling her. There is a difference between really feeling it is time to let a horse go and feeling forced to sell.


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## PoptartShop

Awww, yay! Glad to hear from you!  All is well it seems! Glad your skin is clearing up too. Yay!
Denmark looks beautiful. Love the sky. It looks breathtaking. It is a tough decision about the horses but you have time to think about it. 

As for the man, that is great!!! Isn't it crazy how things can just happen/fall into place when you least expect it? I was so against dating (believe me, really was) & the boyfriend I have now (we've only been dating a few mos, but I met him 8yrs ago) he is everything I ever wanted! It literally happened out of nowhere, unexpectedly. Like, it's good to have independence in a relationship. Like, you have your own lives and whatnot. It's important. I think because you are a very independent woman (I am as well) it can intimidate men. Most men. It's nice when you find someone who is similar to you & it's the best feeling ever. I really hope it works out for you! <3
He sounds great! That's a good idea, just take it day by day. No need to rush at all. :smile: Just enjoy each other!

That shop looks amazing...I'd go crazy in there, with all those choices! :O SO jealous! Sounds like you are having a blast, I'm so happy for you!


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- Unfortunately I will have to sell to Frankie before I can go back to Denmark. I have to committ to it and make an honest effort.
______________

Allison-Thank you and that's incredible, I'm so happy things are working out for you and you've found someone. I hope it works out! And yes the guy is still around, even though I'm home. I thought he meant he was done when I went home and so I said we could still be friends and he was like no that is not what I meant at all, I just meant I was hoping time would say what we're meant to be to each other and it still can. The universe has it's ways. We'll either end up together or we'll have learned something from each other, both are positive. And I said well we'll just not over think it and let time tell us what's to be.
______________

So much has happened between now and my last post. So basically that didn't go as planned is the point of this post.

I didn't get a visa and had to go home immediately, so in a period of about 3-4 days I went from visa applications-denial and having to expedite home. I was REALLY upset about it, everyone there wanted me to stay and I am invited to come back anytime but the law is the law and it's not worth messing with it. So after 31hrs of travel I made it home and saw my horses the next day. Both horses are doing well and are happy to have their mother back. Frankie was pretty cold to me the first day then the next day she was all loves and kisses. Wonder is a TOTAL mommas boy and came running when he heard my voice. 

Frankie has been great, undersaddle she's been plenty well motivated, forward and nice to ride. She was pretty playful our 2nd ride which was fun. She bucked and took off. Not out of control but she was having fun and happy and she's 4, so I didn't tell her to knock it off. Just let her because she'd been so unenthusiastic, it felt good to feel her come alive and feel happy again. And happy is number one in my book.

Wonder is my perfect horse but everyone thinks he's crazy. He's VERY VERY hot and SUPER insanely sensitive but he learns extremely fast and has the best work ethic. I had to be on him walking for I'm told over an hour to get him to calm down after a 20-30min ride. He's something else, always enthusiastic, always game, always ready to try, just think it and he's on it. Whatever you teach him one day, he has the next day and ten other things. He's very hot, breathe wrong and he is gone. Definitely a professionals ride. He was not ridden much while I was gone and apparently no one wanted to lunge or work with him because he's pretty intense. a friend of mine is 6'1 and a fantastic handler and was drug around by Wonder, left in the wind and I've been drug by Wonder so I know how it is but I've been doing a lot of desensitization with him and in hand and ground work and he is much better. He's also very different for me than he is for anyone else, he is very specifically my horse or so I'm told. I was told Cassie there is hot, then there is psycho obsessive hot and Wonder is the latter. But to me Wonder is absolutely perfect and wonderful. He trusts me and relaxes with me, I can do things with him and make him calm and relaxed. I don't know why he's chosen me but he has and because of that my goal is to take him back with me when I return to Denmark, hopefully on a more permanent visa. 

I am working on learning Danish and have a TON of work to do between now and then. I have a list of things I need to do so I can return. Lots of projects and things to get together, I don't know when I'm going back but it's going to take time.

I'm also breaking a 3yr old and riding a very green PRE atm which is quite fun. I've learned a ton of in hand work, tons and tons of ground work and undersaddle while over seas. I rode with a twice olympian who is the number one in hand guy among top dressage riders. He's amazing and hands down the best horseman I've ever seen in my life. It's a lot of natural horsemanship. 











Wonder and an older shot from when he came to show the difference. As well as Frankie. They're good kids


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## whisperbaby22

Well look, if you've really decided to sell Frankie, good for you. I just feel you have been so conflicted about it. But letting her go and setting your sights on Denmark - sounds great!


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## PoptartShop

Welcome back home!  Aw, that is great about the guy. Time will tell, & it sounds like he is on the same page as you about everything.
AW! I know the kiddos missed their Momma! <3 That is so cute. Frankie sure has a personality!!
I'm sure you will have your hands full with Wonder since he hasn't been worked much while you were gone, but it sounds like you two are the perfect pair. :smile: 
They are both so beautiful.  Selling Frankie will be hard, but you have plenty of time to figure things out. You will do what is best for her.
It sounds like you have a good plan about Denmark. I am sorry you didn't get the visa, but things always have a way of working out so I'm sure you will be back there soon! For now, enjoy Wonder, Frankie, & take in all the horsemanship lessons you've learned in Denmark.  Learning Danish will be fun too. Is it really hard?? That is amazing you got to ride with an Olympian! :O Wow! That must have been an amazing experience!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- I was conflicted for a while but now it feels right to me. I can't afford to keep her and I need the money. She's a wonderful mare, I have nothing bad to say about her but I feel we're ready to go our separate ways. 
____________

Allison- We'll see what happens, I haven't heard from him in a few days so and I usually hear from him everyday, so IDK. I also know he started a new job. I'm trying not to put too much thought into it. What's meant to be will always find a way and what isn't will fall away. If it's the latter I can't pretend I won't be sad but I'll understand.

But thank you my kiddos really missed me and LOVE having me back and I'm adjusting but still planning. I'm planning on going back to college overseas but am sticking to learning Danish because it is a hard language to learn but I feel it will also be very good for developing my brain and finding a better way to learn. 

I appreciate what I've learned from the olympian! He TAUGHT me SO SO much on the ground, in hand and undersaddle. It's a wonderful dynamic to better understanding horses! Hopefully with more Danish I can train more down the road lol. 
____________

UPDATE

Rode Frankie in the clinic that weekend. Unfortunately I don't have much video and none of the canter but Im happy to have any video at all. Morray took some video of the ride after this which was MUCH MUCH better but haven't received it yet. Maybe soon. She's still pretty weak, she wasn't worked a ton while I was gone.











https://www.youtube.com/edit?o=U&video_id=slWujwl4KFk

Some Wonder video from this weekend. Please understand this is an EXTREMELY hot horse and very weak atm, he was not ridden much while I was gone. He still did stuff but he wasn't worked much, I asked a very competent, tactful, brave rider but he's a lot of horse and very hard to ride. She said from watching me ride him you'd have no idea how much it takes or how incredibly sensitive he is. He listens to thoughts. Part of what you'll see is where he'll try to move me or the contact and I'll just stay consistent and not let him control the situation. If you let him control the situation he will literally just take off. He's SUPER sensitive, the most sensitive horse I've ever ridden but he's also the most clever. He's crazy smart and definitely a professional's ride. A friend of mine was an FEI groom and and has worked at that level in FL and Germany said there is hot then there is psycho obsessive hot and that's Wonder. He will get SUPER tense and strung out if allowed and it's just thoughts that set him off but keep him listening and back and he will relax and is AMAZING to ride. He's my favorite horse I've ever ridden and worked with, super smart but you can't let him get away with anything or he will use it against you but keep him on track and he learns crazy fast. He learned shoulder in, in 5 minutes. We have a TON of work, he's pretty weak but it's getting there. He's also too uphill which will take a while to build up his hind end so he can expand his stride, track up, etc. 






working on halts





Also I'm still working on losing the weight I gained in Denmark. So far I've lost 5lbs and have 10 to go. I couldn't believe how much weight I gained but to be honest I had a ton of allergies. I'm allergic to the straw and we think gluten because if I ate gluten I'd have cystic acne all over my face, so I'm SUPER careful about eating gluten free because I had a time where I literally was so foggy headed, lethargic, and had migraine head aches from eating gluten. I was like okay this isn't in my head, I'm really allergic.


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## PoptartShop

Love the videos. Aw, the clinic sounds like a good time. Frankie was probably like oh gosh! :lol:
I think Wonder has a nice canter. Looks like he is ready to get back into work mode. He will get right back into it in no time. I'm sure he enjoyed his little break though. :lol: Sensitive horses have the most to give, and they can teach you a lot. I love the sensitive, challenging ones as well. Most people don't want to 'deal' with them...I'm always like, just send 'em right over to me. LOL.
Yeah, hopefully you hear from him but he may be busy. That is a good way to look at it, it's hard to overthink (which is my issue sometimes ugh).
You look great, don't lose TOO much!  & definitely steer clear of gluten, it sounds like it is not agreeing with you. Ugh! I hate acne  I am dealing with some myself, but I think it's bc the lovely monthly you-know-what is coming. :icon_rolleyes: 
Danish is probably hard, but it will keep your brain busy & it's pretty impressive to know a language like that!


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## whisperbaby22

I agree. I just don't have the kind of brain that easily learns a new language, but friends have told me that if I moved to another country I would pick it up just fine. Actually living in Denmark should help, but I am always impressed by people who can speak two languages.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- It was a lot of fun! We have a lot of work to do with both horses, they're very weak from not working much while I was gone. But we did not over work them. We have a rule of they work very hard for 5 min then get a long rein rest and pick up again for 5min and gradually build. 

I agree. I prefer hot and sensitive too. It's hard to get that "perfect" picture but it's so much fun to work with and train and really fine tunes your own riding abilities

I heard from the guy, he was really-really sick and he's got a lot going on, so I'm pulling back a bit and letting him reach out to me when he's ready. I don't think he's pulling away but I think he needs time to be. Ive heard from him less and less this week but he started a new job, been sick, etc so I'm trying not to do the girly over thinking stuff and just going to do my thing, if it'll be, it'll be. So I'm just going to focus on me and developing myself for my future, I really need to focus on that. But I hope you feel better soon too!

Also glad you're enjoying your new lease horse and are in a better situation  
___________

whisperbaby22- I don't either. It's hard to learn a new language, I'm pushing myself to it to improve my brain and I'm hoping it'll help me become a better learner. 
___________

I have a lot going on and to organize.

Also making arrangements to send Frankie to Florida to sell. She's great, I have NOTHING bad to say about her. She's a wonderful mare and will make someone the best horse but I can't afford to keep her, especially since I want to study abroad.

I'm looking at a bunch of UK and Danish universities atm. I'm looking at requirements, deadlines, getting back on my studies so I can be in "ship shape" for when I go back to school. Deadlines are in a month, so I have the timing right but I have a lot of studying to do, so I can take the qualifying exams, then need to get the VA on board with it. 

I also am looking to write articles about how modern feminism is leaving boys behind and why that's a problem, as well as women in science and why we like working with men. I also get irritated when people are SO SO freaking rude on the internet towards other horse people, it's SO freaking unnecessary and reveals nothing but insecurity and lack of fairness in the mind of those being nasty and unfair. It drives me up the wall. My biggest pet peeve is when people who are NOT trainers, have not developed horses up the levels of dressage or at least not ridden a large variety of horses and then unfairly hold others to an impossible standard. Just be fair and understanding, you dont have to be perfect to be helpful but should at least be productive/helpful vs rude. Training is not foot perfect and EVERY SINGLE horse goes through stages. There is NOT a one size fits all program or an ONLY one way to train and develop a horse. There are stages and yeah in REAL LIFE with a horse being a bit behind the vertical sometimes is NORMAL, even Charlotte and Carl have horses that get behind. EVERYBODY does, it doesn't mean they're heavy handed, evil or unfair. People and I'll admit that's one thing I miss about Denmark, people were much more understanding of others than unfairly holding EVERYONE to an impossible standard especially if you want a horse to go well and actually be through and use it's back. Back up is more important than nose position. and yes you want the bit to move, you don't want such a still hand the horse's mouth becomes still, unmovable and hard as a rock but at the same time you don't want it to be a busy mouth from busy hands creating an inconsistent contact and throwing the horse from taking the bit down. Id rather see a horse get behind then drop it's back. They have to get strong enough to carry themselves and it's unfair to expect it to 100% all the time. Especially at earlier stages of training. Alright rant over but big peeve of mine. 

Frankie when she gets tired gets inconsistent in the contact and I just have to keep still and send her through while she bobbles and as she gets stronger it wont become an issue. Same with Wonder. He gets tired and pulls and tries to throw his shoulders out so he can take the bit and go but you have to keep your ground and not let him move you or you'll let loose the beast. As he gets stronger he's getting better but it takes TIME. He was FABULOUS on Thursday, haven't worked him yet today. Also riding Frankie again today. She also had Friday off. They're both in work to gain condition and strength. So work really hard for 5min, long rein rest then pick up again and rest and pick up again holding the highest standard they maintain and then be done. Rides have been around 30-35min. Both are going WAY better than in the last videos, will hopefully get more again sometime.

Went down to Springfield to visit a friend and her baby. Definitely don't need a baby until after 30 :lol: I'm too selfish at this stage of my life even if I were married, etc. I want to travel across Europe and finish my studies. I'm looking at finishing a degree in International Studies (like my original plan) and maybe economics. But I will be going back abroad. Was also teased, I said I wouldn't be ready for children until after 30 and someone was like what next week? ...alright closer to 35 than being in HS but I'm not too old to do the things I want to! 

I'm making a checklist of everything I need to do and get done before I can leave. It will takes months and I'm not sure whether Wonder will be accompanying me or not. I think he has what it takes to do the GP, his piaffe-passage is going to be very good. He'll never be a small tour horse or anything but I think he can do it, be competent and stay sound. Ive had two international riders agree with me. He has good working mechanics, just isn't that flashy, though they said it'll be in the training that could produce a pretty flashy-impressive horse only time will tell but has the right mechanics to make pirouettes, changes, piaffe, passage easy for him.


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## Fimargue

OMG that Wonder. I'm just in awe with this horse. Look at that neck and topline coming as well! When you move in Europe I will have to come visit you!

What comes to cultural differences, you are definitely better off in northern Europe or the UK. I'm from Finland and have lived in England and here in France I have just never felt at home. You do learn languages when you have to - though after 4 years my French is still not fluent, but at least I can actually communicate with it. It just clicked me one day that jeez I can actually speak this fricking language lol. I started studying English in 3rd grade and had to force myself to really speak when I went to London. Nowadays I even think in English so I have to remind myself of my mother tongue. But gosh it is hard when you are not able to communicate and feel stupid everyday. Unlike in northern Europe, here almost nobody speaks English.

I feel you with food sensitivities and acne. My life in a nutshell. :icon_rolleyes:

Horse training is definitely something you can't go just by the book, you go with feel. People saying otherwise don't know much. I also hear you with people being rude and harsh on the internet. We are all in the process of learning and I think with horses it's a never ending process. Some people on their high horses would do well to remember that.


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## Tazzie

It's so nice reading your stuff on here again! Definitely missed reading it 

Good luck selling Frankie! I understand your reasoning. She'll make someone a grand horse!

I do think Wonder should go with you back to Denmark :lol: I think it'd be great for the both of you.

And good luck with all the schooling and what not!!


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## PoptartShop

I totally understand the reasoning behind selling Frankie. I know you will make sure she goes to a good home.  Yeah, some people really make my blood boil online. Especially when they try to act like know-it-alls. Like, what works for you may not work for me! People can't seem to grasp that!

I am glad you heard from him, and sorry to hear he is sick.  Ugh, seems like a lot of people are lately. My coworker went home today because he was feeling like he was getting the flu. I was like, steer clear from me! I'm sure he will talk to you when he's ready, it is hard not to overthink trust me, but giving him some space is your best bet. He will come around! Plus you have so much going on right now keeping you busy which is great. LOL, I'm the same way...no kids until I'm 30+ :lol: NOPE!
I really hope Wonder embarks with you on your journey to Denmark, too. :smile:


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## DanteDressageNerd

Fimargue- Thank you. I absolutely love him and am so eager to develop him and show what OTTBs can do. He's fabulous! And certainly. I'll let you know what when I'm back over and hopefully Wonder will be with me, so you can meet and maybe ride him as well. 

I can imagine! Id find it very difficult to live in France, I don't know the language at all and people seem very rigid in their ways or unwilling to assist a foreigner. Communication is so important, it's so isolating when you don't know the language.

Food sensitivities and acne always go hand in hand lol.

Precisely no one is perfect and that is okay, the point isnt to be perfect the point is to develop and go through the phases you need to. I think people are often unfair due to their own insecurities and the need to feel better about themselves. There is being productive and there is simple rudeness and self absorbed persons with no real interest in helping, just passing judgement and being critical. lol I guess the jokes on them, ragging on someone else wont make you a better rider.
_________

Katie- Thank you. I think she'll make a great horse for someone too. She's a wonderful mare, good brain, work ethic and nice to ride.

Oh definitely. I don't think Wonder and I should part. He's REALLY attached to me and vice versa. He's something like a soul mate to me. I just love him and feel very attached. But I may go to the UK instead of Denmark, IDK yet. I'm sort of leaning towards the UK because I like the riding/training better, I know more people and less of a language barrier. 
_________

Allison- Definitely. Lots of people are cowards and hide behind their screens and back doors to belittle and attack those who are doing and develop while they never show themselves. It's very hypocritical. People are cowardly at times. It's a big pet peeve! Just be fair but cant reason with the unreasonable, especially when theyre able to build their ego belittling others :-/

Yes there has been a lot of sickness going around recently! It's unfortunate! I didn't hear from him today either, so IDK what's going on. Again trying not to over think it but I feel like maybe he's tired of me. I don't know for sure but my feeling isnt good on it. But I hope you're right. Even if we're just friends, I like hearing from him and talking to him. But totally after 30 for children!

I intend to take Wonder with me whether it's Denmark or the UK. ATM I'm leaning towards the UK because I like the training and riding better. 
_________

Update

Very productive lesson on Wonder, we're sending Frankie to FL ASAP. It makes me sad, she was great today but I can't keep them both and I NEED to focus on my applications to foreign universities in Denmark and the UK. Also talking to people I know about boarding places and trainers for Wonder and I. 

Lesson was very productive, Mari had me grab my oh **** strap because he was pulling me so badly and off balance to avoid truly meeting the contact. He would have done this with anyone but it prevented him from pulling so badly, God is he strong there is nothing you can do when he pulls like that but set your hand and let him fight himself. He does it both directions when he wants to escape the contact. We had a very productive lesson, lots of work. He's still SO weak and SO green. We discussed training on him and how because he's so uphill it's going to take a much longer time to build up his core and back strength to track up and engage like we'd like. She thinks he will track up when he's stronger but he can't right now because he can't articulate and bring his back up enough. He has plenty of activity but lots of work ahead. His movement and quality of gaits are improving all the time but he has good mechanics.


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## Tazzie

The UK sounds fun! Good luck with either! And SOOOO glad Wonder would go with you this time!! I know he'd do well with his momma with him 

Good luck sending Frankie down to FL. I know it's hard, but someone will be super excited to have her!

Yay for a good lesson! Naughty Wonder snatching the contact like that! I'm sure he'll get softer again the more you work with him! Love the pictures


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## PoptartShop

Ugh Wonder!!! Little stinker! I am glad you had a good lesson though, yay!  Great pictures, you guys look great.

Yeah, it can be hard not to overthink. If he cannot 'man up' & talk to you, then that is his problem. Hopefully he does but if not then it is nothing you did! It's definitely hard. Like, nobody is 'that' busy they can't shoot a quick text. Ugh. Exactly, even as friends it would be nice to chat. Fingers crossed you hear from him soon.  Maybe when you least expect it! 

It will be very hard with Frankie going to FL but like I said you are doing the right thing & she will go to a good place. She will make someone very happy, and you have done so well with her. 

UK sounds like a good plan too. I've always wanted to visit there.


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## Tihannah

I will be so sad to see Frankie go. :-( There is no denying the bond you have with Wonder though and you have so much going on, I can't imagine trying to keep 2 horses. Loved them both in the videos. I love how the red and blue really pops on Wonder! He is going to be a super nice horse!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- Thank you. He loves having his mama back, he's a totally different horse. He's much calmer, more at ease and much happier. 

I wouldn't say Wonder is naughty but I'd say he's trying to work it all out and understand. He has a background as racehorse and they're taught to snatch and take the bit down. So what he's learning now is in some ways the opposite and he's learning pretty fast but it's still tough to break old habits. Especially since he was on the track for 5yrs and off the track for 7 months.
__________

Allison- Wonder's not naughty, he was just trying to figure out the contact and was a little confused. It's hard to go from 5yrs of being taught to grab the bit and bare down to soften, accept and lighten. It's tough. 

I did hear back from him and it's been positive so far, still joking around and such. So I'm just living my life and playing it by ear, still going to do what I'm going to do and at the end of it if he's there great, I can't wait to see where this goes and if not I'll still go on my adventure and have a great life. He's a good guy though and honestly I'd really like to spend more time with him and get to know him better. Have some more laughs and shared memories but we'll see what's meant to be always finds a way and what isnt falls away.

Someone is going to be so lucky with her, she's a great horse. There isn't a bad thing I can say about her. She's wonderful, fun and just a good girl!

Me too. I've been to London but didn't really get to spend time in London, so that is definitely on my bucket list too! Europe in general is on my bucket list. I love to travel and it's SO much easier over there, so much more history.
__________

Tina- Thank you Tina. I think he's going to be pretty amazing too and we do. He and I have a pretty special bond. It's unique and I think that's why I decided to take Wonder with me to Europe. He goes where I go and I need him in my life. He makes me feel whole.

And I'm sad too :-( she's a pretty great horse but I know it's what I have to do to do the things I want to in life.
__________

Update

Rode the PRE, saddlebred, Frankie and Wonder today.

I put Wonder's bit up one hole and he was NOT the same horse. He was so tense, so hot and I couldn't get him to soften to the bit at all, he just took the bit and was not happy. So eventually I lowered it down a hole and I had my horse back. We didn't even have a lesson he was so unridable and he's NEVER like that. The moment the bit was lower he was happy. Was using himself well, etc. We are improving his acceptance of the contact and acceptance of aids. Mari says he's a good boy, smart but special. He's just quirky is all. He likes things a certain way and what he doesn't like, he doesn't like. He's reasonable about it. But Mari says she doesn't know what we'll do when Wonder's in the double and I said well hopefully he'll be in Europe with me but we can also try him in a double before we go to Europe. We agreed he won't have any trouble up the levels for the movements but gaining the strength and understanding of the contact is going to take some time. 

I'm thinking about selling Frankie's saddle, so I can buy Wonder a saddle for him. Frankie's saddle doesn't fit him all that well (it's not bad but it tips me on my crotch on him and it's too wide for him) and I'd be getting a different brand. I'm thinking about trying a PDS saddles or something different for him. I want him to have something that properly fits him, especially before we go to Europe. Saddle fit is crazy expensive over there and it's hard to get a fitter at all.

Frankie is leaving on the 11th, I'm pretty sad but I know it's for the best. I'm trying to keep away from her a bit because it's for the best if I want to go to Europe and move onto the next phase of my life. This has to happen, my whole life is not going to be about horses. A big portion of it will be horses but there are other things I want to have in my life too. I want to fall in love, have my own family, and work, so I can afford to enjoy Wonder and let him be a big part of my life. I don't know for sure what road my life is traveling down but I know that's where I want to end up.


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## Tazzie

Oh I remember Wonder's back ground, trust me.

Glad once the bit was put back down he behaved. I can understand though! Good luck selling Frankie's saddle and finding one that fits Wonder.

And I get it. I love horses, and they are a huge part of my life, but they aren't my entire life. It's nice to have other hobbies/interests too  and a family!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- certainly. Re-training thoroughbreds is tough, especially a ridiculously strong, crazy smart one. I really don't think of most thoroughbreds as hot but Wonder is one of a kind but I wouldn't be so attached if he wasnt. David thinks if he were a human he'd be like Sheldon Cooper like his Mama :lol:

Picky kids! But thank you. I hope we can get Frankie's saddle sold and buy Wonder his own. He deserves it!

Exactly  horses are wonderful and such a big part of our lives but they don't need to be everything. It's still nice to have a life outside of horses with other interests and a family.
______________

Update

Bit sad had my last ride on Frankie. I wanted to get some video but no one to video us :-( oh well she's being lunged tomorrow and possibly bathed and I'm going to spend some cuddle time with her but not a lot. It's better that way. She rested her head on my shoulder today and I got emotional and weepy. She's leaving Sunday :-(

Rode Wonder and we're sorting through things, he's a very opinionated ******. He's a good boy but when he doesn't want to do something, he does his thing. I'll say most horses might have opinions but Wonder is basically like okay no I'm just going to do what I want. He didn't want to back up today, aimed him at the fence and it took a while but eventually he backed up. I've never met a horse that can use his whole body against you quite like Wonder. It's interesting. But our ride was quite good. Not perfect but TONS more swing through his back after seeing the chiropractor (right hip, right side rib out towards his hip). He still has a hard time lifting his back but we're doing more stretching exercises and things to help him, just going to take awhile to re-train his musculature and body. Long way to go but it's coming bit by bit. I hope to get new video soon, he's going SO much better than in the last video. He's still incredibly hot but he's becoming more and more relaxed and I can actually ride him in a lower frame and play some with his tempo and keep the larger stride without him running off, so we get some swing but he can't hold it for all that long. We still have battles about contact (he takes the bit and bares down) but it's less and less and works through it fast. I just grab my oh **** strap so he can't rip at me. So I wait, I also bridge my reins because he will play with the bit and shake my hand and the bridge allows me to keep steady even when he plays with the bit and pulls. For the most part he's good and there is no pulling but it's a process. When he's stronger and understand better it wont be so bad. It's already a lot better. 

Still talking to the guy. Not much to update, I keep pretty private but again I have no expectations. Im worried perhaps I said too much (jist I said I'm going overseas because that's what I want to do and regardless of it he's the special person for me or a friend I still want to get to know him better and respect/appreciate his honesty). I am over thinking but I also feel if he can't respond to that much or me being me then it's not right. Still doing my thing. Still focusing on me and reading, researching, getting things done to go to school over seas. So we'll see what happens. I also had to realize that I'm actually pretty amazing and very special in a good way and any man worthy of me will recognize that and make space for me. I'm also neurotic and I over think and am quite girlie.


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## whisperbaby22

Glad you are OK with letting Frankie go. Selling a horse like her is different than selling a trail horse - and to me all horses are special, but selling a horse with her potential you do not have to worry about how she may end up. Bad things can always happen, but she has a much better chance because of the start you have given her.


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- I'm still sad about it. I don't want to sell her but I have to if I'm going to move on with my life and do the things I want to. I simply can't afford two horses, especially since I want to move to Europe and finish my university education abroad. She's a great horse, I have absolutely nothing bad to say about her. She's lovely but you're right, she's definitely going to fall into good hands. I don't feel like I'd have to worry about the quality of her care. I agree all horses are special but thank you. She's a good girl! She tries so hard. Great work ethic and a kind heart.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad you and Wonder are working through everything again. He's a smart boy! I'm sure he's glad you're back. Good luck with the preparations to go back to Europe! And good luck with the guy. Whatever is meant to be, will happen.

Also thinking of you today as Frankie heads to Florida. I know she'll find the perfect place for her.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- He is. He's a really smart boy :lol: but he's certainly neurotic too. He has so much strength and knows so many evasions from having been a track horse for so long. I've been doing back stretches with him to help him use his back more effectively and it's been helping, he's reaching under and lifting his core and using his back better. It's still a process and being as uphill as he is makes stretching and swing more difficult but we got a TON more swing last ride while maintaining a larger stride without him running (this is HUGE). I was able to ride him on a longer rein as well and have him continue to reach for the contact, stretching and maintaining swing without running off so that is HUGE. I start my ride with a whip and by the time we canter I have to drop it, he gets so ear pinny, humpy in his back and upset about it, it's not even worth it. He's a horse to warm up you do not start on a long rein, you start him on contact or he will literally just take off from underneath you, run through all your half halts, be tense, tight and take the bit from you and not listen. So to start you have to make half halts clear, reinforce your expectation and not allow him to grab the bit (where I grab the oh **** strap) and let him fight himself and then soften when he does. You can't start him on a lower rein or try riding him just putting your hands together and hoping for the best, he will take the bit, bare down against you, take off with you, run through every half halt and never soften or use himself if you don't ride him. He needs a clear direction and perimeter of expectation (if you let him go out through the shoulder his back is good as lost) then once he's listening and responding properly you can let him have a longer rein and get a deeper outline and more swing. 

Thanks for the luck. I don't know what will happen with the guy, we'll just have to wait and see. I think he has a lot going on in his life and he's really focusing on himself atm. 

And thank you. The trip was delayed a day due to ice conditions on the roads, I slid down my drive way this morning. So I don't think I'm seeing my horses this morning. I even had to call into work saying I'll drive on snow but ice where you just slide like that is scary and I'm not a good enough ice driver to safely drive on it. Frankie was very cuddly yesterday, I got a bit teary eyed saying my good byes and probably wont see her today due to the ice roads and it's all back roads to the barn :-(

How uphill Wonder is, his neck is actually comparatively long. I just wasnt in the right position to accurately show body balance


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## Tazzie

I get it. Izzie needs warmed up on contact too. Our trainer tried the long rein route with her and she refused. At the end she's all about it though. So I get it.

He definitely is hot though! Goodness! Good luck bringing him back around.

And understandable. If the roads were bad it's best to have not sent her. Will she be going today?


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## Tihannah

Wonder looks great! And I'm sure with you back and putting consistent work in him, he will continue to get better. I know it was hard to see Frankie go, but I think it's great that you know what you want to do and what you need to do to get there, and Frankie will make someone very happy.


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## Fimargue

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Fimargue- Thank you. I absolutely love him and am so eager to develop him and show what OTTBs can do. He's fabulous! And certainly. I'll let you know what when I'm back over and hopefully Wonder will be with me, so you can meet and maybe ride him as well.


We'll see if I'm up to the challenge! lol. He might be too one person horse to go well for anyone else, no matter how sensitive riders they are. Otherwise I will have to return the favor and invite you to ride my dressage Arab (in process as well). 



DanteDressageNerd said:


> I can imagine! Id find it very difficult to live in France, I don't know the language at all and people seem very rigid in their ways or unwilling to assist a foreigner. Communication is so important, it's so isolating when you don't know the language.


You are so right on both. I'm constantly reminded that I'm a foreigner. Was not the case in England - I have lived in London and Newcastle.


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## PoptartShop

Awwww...I know it is hard to let Frankie girly go. :sad:  It is good you are thinking positively though, and I agree a life outside of horses is important too.
I hope you will get updates about her though, so you can get a sense of relief knowing she is okay. <3
Wonder is so smart & willing. Love it. You two are so great together!! 

I am glad you are focusing on yourself & your future endeavors. I think it's important. As for the guy, I agree with @Tazzie whatever is meant to be will happen.  No matter what. What's for you is for you. I tend to 'say too much' as well, always been a problem for me, most men cannot handle that or straight-forward gals like us! But there is someone that will, he may even be it.  I am crossing my fingers for you!!! I agree, even as a friend it will be nice to have him around/talk to him. That is the kinda attitude you should have, YES! Any man who is worthy enough will be able to handle that & embrace you, and take you as you are.


----------



## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- That's makes sense, I honestly think a lot of horses are like that, a lot of people think they should warm up on the long rein and like you I think they warm up better on contact and once it's all established work into a deeper stretch and a deeper outline. 

We've been talking pretty regularly and they're long text messages, so I understand why sometimes it takes a few days to get a response. He works full time and has other priorities but he always gets back and is perfectly pleasant and well thought out. I have serious trust issues and anxiety, so I always anticipate the worst and have to tell myself it's my crazy and not instinctual. He's done nothing to earn my crazy and it's not that important. 

And Frankie should be arriving in FL soon :-( I'm pretty sad but I'm strong and moving forward. 
________

Tina- Thank you! He's coming along, he had his moment yesterday which I already told you about. 

It was hard to say good bye to Frankie but necessary. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, even when it's hard and hurts.
________

Firmargue- I think he'll be okay, he's just tricky to work out. Most of his quirks aren't really observable but felt. He communicates well but he also has splint second reactions. And the ride will be lovely, thank you for your kindness 

I can imagine. The Danish and Germans were quite accommodating when I've been there and the English are pretty helpful. I haven't been to France, only know what I've heard from people who have lived there as foreigners. 
________

Allison- Thank you for your kindness, Im still processing the loss of Frankie. I don't know if I'll ever see her again but I love her. I'll get updates, she's going to be down with her breeder in Florida so her care will be excellent and I'll hear how she is. I know she'll be in good hands.

You're entirely right. I've been pretty forward with him and shown him my "crazy" side. He knows I have trust issues, etc, etc. I like him a lot and he has given me no reason not to trust him but I'm still myself and can't help my insecurities but they're my own and have nothing to do with him. Whenever I've had doubts and come forward to him, he's calmed me down and been reasonable but with me being here and him being there I don't expect too much. I hope but can't allow myself to expect. Our texts are pretty lengthy discussions, so I don't expect to hear from him all the time. He'll get to me when he has time, he has many projects and a full time job. He said he wanted time to be the decider of what happens and so it will be. He's a good man, I know that and I know he values honesty. He values his own humanity and I need to trust that and trust him, if this is to be anything someday. I enjoy our discussions, regardless of if he is a friend or a love interest. What will be will be, it's just hard not to over think. I tend to expect the worst from people. I may need advice sometime if you ever have time lol.
________

I need to get my butt in gear to get my application and transcripts transferred so I can move onto the next phases of going back to Europe but have been pretty down lately, not an excuse. Just processing because I also have to think seriously about Wonder and whether or not I need to find a situation for him here because Im not sure I'll have time for him over there or if Ill be able to travel and experience at all if I still have him and focus on my studies and being a good student. It's so hard to work out. Im still processing that as well. He's the horse that I think can do the GP but choices and having to figure out what I really want at the end of the day. What's realistic and reasonable.

Wonder's 8th birthday was yesterday. Nothing special. Had a simple ride.


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## Fimargue

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Firmargue- I think he'll be okay, he's just tricky to work out. Most of his quirks aren't really observable but felt. He communicates well but he also has splint second reactions. And the ride will be lovely, thank you for your kindness


I have a deep love for Thoroughbreds. I find that they keep a dialogue with you just like the Arabs and like you said they are often sensible kind of hot. They maybe go overboard with excitement more easily that Arabs, but they are not often as sharp and explode in your face like some Warmbloods. Many people just don't get how to ride them because they get "OMG, I don't know what you want, I'M GONNA EXLODE". And they are fast in their reactions, like a big Cheetah.

Of course I have also ridden a TB that felt like a broken tractor. Like "Hello? Could I have some reaction, did you get wrong papers at birth??". I did get him going better, but needed to fix his attitude as well first. He felt like bucking when he was asked too much. I hate lazy buckers. I take the fast nervous ones any day.

Talila is a real sports model. She has none of that snort and blow that my second mare sometimes has. She is not hot either, but she has a good motor and mind and a fantastic work mentality.

The only time she has ever bucked was when I went to try her and the previous owner asked her to canter from a rising trot... With me never, but it took a while to change her way of going as she was a racer (endurance).

My mentor said then that "Talila is lovely, but her trot is like sitting on a sewing machine". I told her last week that she should ride her now, she is not the same horse. And the other day we had perfect canter departs, I couldn't have been more proud.



DanteDressageNerd said:


> Wonder's 8th birthday was yesterday. Nothing special. Had a simple ride.


Happy birthday to wonderful Wonder!!

Would you lease him out then? 

This might be a bit far fetched, as I don't know where I'm going to be because I'm looking a for new job, but either where I'm now in north Brittany or Normandy I would say, but if I have my own place, or even some other solution, I could take him here. I know is not the same as having him with you, but at least he would be couple hours away and you could take him when you are sure you have time. And the livery fee wouldn't be anywhere as costly as I assume you are paying right now. 

I know you want to have other experiences in life and you don't know how you are going to do it all, but do not give up on taking him to GP. That is the bigger picture. If you want to live in Europe for several years, he should be with you.

Also, I'm sorry you had to say goodbye to Frankie :-(


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## Tazzie

Exactly. Yesterday was an example of that. I didn't work Izzie super hard, but wanted her to stretch. It was a battle since in her mind we hadn't worked long enough to stretch. But to me we'd worked plenty for her fitness level.

I understand trust and anxiety issues. I have them myself, and there are days my mind runs away with me with Nick. But it's the rational part of me that knows better. It'll all work out though! Glad you're still talking with him though 

Awww :sad: I'm sorry. Is she going to someone you know down there? Just curious about the process.

Happy birthday to Wonder though! Yay!

Good luck with all your decisions though. A lot of tough questions you need to answer :/


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## DanteDressageNerd

Firmargue- Precisely. Tbs are very sensitive, right brained and quick thinking with a strong desire to please. When they get too wound up, I usually return to walk and let out the rein and let them chill mentally to train correct mental responses, so they can relax and not over think. I feel tbs tend to over think more than arabians, like they have a lot more anxiety to their temperament.

I'm glad youve felt a lot of improvement with Talia and she's feeling better. I'm not sure what a sewing machine feels like. Does it mean bouncy or uncomfortable? A lot of arabians are very bouncy lol. 

I'm not sure what to do with Wonder, he's my rock and the idea of separation is HORRIBLE to me. No matter where I am or what I do or what's going on inside my mind, Wonder brings me to center. His anxiety and busy mind calms me. It's like when we're together we're at peace and balanced. He's my buddy.

And he had a good birthday 

Thank you for the offer it's so sweet but the travel over is SO expensive and really hard on them, I question whether or not it's worth it to try to bring him over. It's so hard to figure out what's the right thing to do and what is best.
___________

Katie- I guess Izzie let you know how she felt about the day lol and felt she needed more work lol.

I hope so. Anxiety is horrible. I haven't heard from him in days and it makes me nervous but I'm trying to keep busy and focus on my stuff but I really would like to know what's going on. I'm sure he's just busy and had a lot on his plate and our texts take a while to respond to. So if he's had a rough week I can't say that I blame him. 

Yeah. Frankie is going down to my trainer and working with her, so I know she's going to be in good hands. 

And Wonder says thank you as well. The idea of separation from him is quite difficult. He's my rock but the pragmatics is hard to face.
___________

I had the most amazing day with Wonder. The temperature was 26C and felt like Spring (my favorite season). I ran in the fields with Wonder trotting beside me, marvelling at the sky and amazed by existence as we treasured the moment. I watched the clouds, astonished by the forms and hues of color in the sky. Then it started to rain and note I love the rain but I looked to the sky and embraced the moment and the wonderful sensation of rain running down my cheeks. My hair was down, flowing behind me and I spun in a circle and laughed, treasuring existence and what it means to be alive laughing and dancing. Then I sprinted down the fields with Wonder trotting beside me. I didn't think, just embraced every sensation I experienced from the rain on my skin, the wind on my cheeks, the damp air, the smell of rain, and the sound od the drops hitting the ground. Wonder's warm air and good nature. I felt as one with time and space and everything around me. It's good to be alive.

Wonder is on muscle relaxers from a tense back, so we're on a lunge regiment to get those muscles to loosen up and for him this is the best way to loosen his lower back muscles with the muscle relaxers. I rode him bareback for a little bit yesterday which was HARD, I don't think he's ever been ridden bareback. He was good about it but he's developed a TON more swing and stride. His stride is twice the size of what it used to be. I didn't canter because our breaks were too questionable and I had to go into two point a few times to stop him. He also received a bath (which he needed).


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## PoptartShop

I am always here if you need advice.  I feel like we get each other, like you feel exactly how I have felt SO many times. Ugh.
Time will definitely tell, I know it is hard though. But just go with the flow like you have been. And the lengthy conversations are great- a heck of a lot better than a simple 'what's up' etc. They actually have meaning! It sounds like you both enjoy each other. 

I LOVE the photos of you & Wonder. He truly is your soul-horse! He is so cute, and you guys look so happy!
Such a handsome boy, & so clean. How cute with the hose! :lol: Looked like he was enjoying himself!! Such a ham.

& happy belated to him too! It is definitely tough figuring out what is going to happen when you move/if you go, like I am hoping he can come with. I know he is your calm & that is what you need. Fingers crossed it all works out how it's supposed to & everything goes as planned.  Wonder is your boy no matter what! It is a lot to think about though & I'm sure it's VERY overwhelming. & when you have anxiety issues like we do, it's like 10x worse because we analyze EVERYTHING.

So happy you had such a good day with your boy though.


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## Fimargue

You are so beautiful, he really loves you.  You look like you could be Finnish as well, you hair colour and eyes, the shape as well. 

I agree with you about Thoroughbreds having more anxiety.

Sewing machine trot definitely means bouncy, like impossible to sit to lol. It has been a long process that is not yet finished. Her walk is now bigger and swinging as well and not the stiff diaper walk you see with some Arabians. She was just so weak.

Here I was doing some lunging in liberty a year ago. Already a much a better movement.


I think in the future I will be buying mostly foals/unstarted youngsters so that I don't have all the work to undo things and fix what is broken. Of course, I will be hopefully breeding the future dream horses myself. That is the goal.

I understand. I know it's very costly. I just think he should be with you, you need each other.

I'm glad you had a nice day with him.  Where I used to work before there was huge amount of land and the fields where big, so I would be walking a lot to check up on the horses and in the summer it was lovely just spending time in the fields, usually more with mares and foals, wondering around, saying hello to everyone and letting them come to you.

This was my happy place

Then I got my fat Arab - and a Friesian to boot - to investigate what mama is doing with _ze others_


And the for fun, couple photos of my favorite colt. His mum is a Special D daughter. 


As easy as they come. Definitely amateur friendly. I have even sat on him when he was laying down in the field. No change. And I have trimmed his feet with just the rope on the ground in front of him. Also so sensitive. Has always been a breeze to do stuff with. He is going to be three this year.

Sorry for hijacking your thread. I swear I'll have my own soon!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- You really are a life saver. You being there for me made SUCH a big difference! I think we get each other and have a lot in common and have had similar experiences and have that overthinking, care too much thing going on. I think he and I like each other a lot, he opened up some stuff and it made me SO much more secure and trusting. He has SO much going on and it made me realize how much he actually cares about me. I think we offer something to each other no one else does. We communicate in much the same way and value the same things. Plus he's a sweetheart and makes me laugh. Trying not to like him so much :lol:

Aww thank you. You're so sweet  Wonder is my soul horse, he calms me down a lot and really keeps me balanced. I REALLY want him to come but I'm not sure I'll be able and have the time for him that he deserves. I don't know what to do but I cant wait to go back!
____________

Firmargue- Thank you, I've actually never thought of myself as looking Finish. I'm actually German-Russian and Danish, some Dutch. My dad (both of his parents) are German-Russian and my mom is German/Danish (her mom German/Dutch and Dad Danish). 

Yes they do. TBs are anxious but big on pleasing. Wonder is MASSIVE over thinker. He has a lot of anxiety but he's pretty relaxed for me.

It's alright, I'm happy you feel comfortable enough to share with me  The pictures are lovely and looks like a really peaceful space. Harmony. I think breeding is a lovely goal and would be much fun! The colt is really cute! He looks sweet, is he very coltish?
____________

I spent some time with the kids and taught them. Wonder was actually really tender and sweet with them. He saw me and put his head in my arms while the kids were there then they started sweet talking him and he was really gentle and kind with them. I love that horse so much, he's perfect. He has such a big heart, he's anxious and neurotic but so kind natured and sweet.

I also got an update on Dante who is doing GREAT and LOVES his job! Him and his mom make a great team! She's such a soft, gentle rider and fits him so beautifully! Apparently he has quite the fan base and everyone thinks he's some kind of colored warmblood lol. Nope quarter horse/arabian. Also a few oldies of Dante.


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## Tazzie

I'm so glad you had such a great day with Wonder! You guys really do make a special team  and awwww with the kids! How sweet!

I LOVE Dante updates! He looks so pleased with himself! Ah, makes me so happy!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- Thank you he's great! I love working with him and he is really gentle with kids, I was impressed  it's the sign of a good heart 

I like Dante updates too  he's doing great! Im so glad he has such a good mom and a good fit for him!
_________

I'm still me so insecure about emotions and all that but working very hard to tell myself to STOP over thinking and trying to get my brain to quit being so **** neurotic. It's really annoying. I can distract myself but thoughts wont relent :-/ I wish I could feel less insecure about things and just accept them as they come and not be so me about it. I cant' just go with the flow and calm down. Stupid anxiety :-(

Still riding the PRE and baby saddlebred (he's 3). Wonder is kinda on a break, I rode him bareback yesterday. He is HARD to ride bareback. He is SO bouncy and doesn't like it, he'll pull, throw his weight around, etc.

The PRE is doing well. He's 7 but just started work a few months ago and his mom really want more collection, so we emphasized collection and I asked for the max amount he could give. Rocked him back on the hind end, softened the contact, sat his croup down and really lifted up in his shoulder. At the canter I though of it as "squaring the edges" to really get him to sit on his hind end and lift up in his shoulder. It's easy for him.

The saddlebred is doing GREAT undersaddle, on the ground we've been working really hard with him. Lots of natural horsemanship methods to get him less "coltish" and he just doesn't retain it all that well. He's a challenge but we're working on it. Great undersaddle.


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## Tazzie

Definitely  good pony!

I get that :/ my anxiety is so high right now with our finances that I could puke. I just keep telling myself it's all in my hand. But alas... so I get it.

I bet he's hard bareback! I can only imagine!

Glad the PRE and Saddlebred are doing well! Sorry it doesn't seem he retains anything well :/


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- thank you and most definitely 

Oh I entirely understand with anxiety that high, it makes you so nauseous and unreasonable. It's like a trip through crazy town and you can't just reason it out when it's in over drive like that. I hope everything works out really well for you guys and everything settles smoothly so you can be comfortable in your mind again!

He is. He's SUPER bouncy, just a lot of back movement. Different from Dante because Dante was really bouncy up an down like he was shooting you into the rafter vs Wonder has a ton of back movement. 

They are. The saddlebred is doing great undersaddle and he's doing better on the ground but he interprets most things as a threat, so we've actually started reducing the ground work and focusing on it after undersaddle and for less time and he's doing a lot better that way. 
___________

Wonder is getting his saddle back today (finally), so we can start really riding again. I'm not brave enough to push it bareback on Wonder especially since my bareback pad is being repaired. I think the bareback pad makes it much more comfortable for the horse and better for their back. He's doing really well. He's been moving super well lately! He's learning to engage his back and open up his stride.

The PRE is doing really well, especially since he's still quite green and the saddlebred is doing well too. He's one month undersaddle. Good baby. Long ways to go on everything. Wont post video because I do not own the horses.


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## Tazzie

It should smooth out soon, thank goodness. It's just getting there first is the issue *sigh* hate it.

He looked bouncy in what you showed me! Goodness! Izzie is bouncy at the trot, but her canter is worse. I have a tough time staying with her bareback. Just too much movement!

I get that. Silly pony though!

I'm glad they are both doing so well! Yay! They look great!

And yay for getting your saddle back!


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## DanteDressageNerd

It's understandable. It takes a lot to ride big back movement. And canter is difficult, especially if they engage their hind end well underneath them. 

Thank you  Wonder is SO much happier with his saddle now. We had to shim the left front which explains why he is sore right rear under the saddle.

Wonder is basically a complete dork. He LOVES kisses and teeth rubs

Also Wonder undersaddle video. First day he was REALLY hard to ride. He's hard to ride in general but man he was tough. Today he had the day off, so I hand walked him and did in hand work because they didn't go outside today. Lots of in hand which is helping him on the ground. 






Day 1





He pulled so hard, it took everything I had to sort of stay center and still in the hand. When they pull like that, there is just no way to stay still unless you grab something (which is why my hands are quite low) when he pulls I grab the strap, so he fights himself and my contact stays even. VERY far from perfect, have a LONG LONG way to go and he's VERY weak. Getting him to engage his back is VERY hard and takes a lot of bending lines. Ideally he'd be a lot deeper but he's not strong or coordinated enough atm. He's learning how to use his back and engage, it's not about "nose position" it's about his back and having him understand the aids to become an upper level dressage horse.


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## Tazzie

Exactly! Gotta love the big moving horses though!

I bet! I'm glad he got it adjusted! Only upwards from here now! 

Silly Wonder! I love the videos! He does look tough to ride, but boy is he sweet with you on the ground! He's so handsome!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- that you do. He's getting there, his trot atm is weak but eventually in a few months-years I really think his trot will be fantastic. It just needs to be developed. He has about a 7 walk when he swings and the canter I think has the potential to earn an 8 or a 9 someday. The trot we'll just see how it develops but long ways to go! He's quite weak.

That it is! Onwards and up exactly!

He is but he has a big heart, his difficulty is not at all from naughtiness. He's not naughty at all (someone could easily make him naughty) but he's not a mean horse at all. He's just trying to figure out what we're asking for and when it gets tough or he misunderstand he pulls. It still takes a lot out of me to try to keep steady enough. I still have to grab the strap but it's less and he doesn't pull as strong, I hope we'll be past this soon. I really think when he knows, understand and has the strength he'll be pretty automatic about everything. I think he'll be very-very hot, he gets hotter the fitter he gets but I think he'll be very honest and give his all. No matter how tired he is, he never gives up or throws in the towel. When he gets tired, he just tries harder. He has a lot of heart.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- that you do. He's getting there, his trot atm is weak but eventually in a few months-years I really think his trot will be fantastic. It just needs to be developed. He has about a 7 walk when he swings and the canter I think has the potential to earn an 8 or a 9 someday. The trot we'll just see how it develops but long ways to go! He's quite weak.

That it is! Onwards and up exactly!

He is but he has a big heart, his difficulty is not at all from naughtiness. He's not naughty at all (someone could easily make him naughty) but he's not a mean horse at all. He's just trying to figure out what we're asking for and when it gets tough or he misunderstand he pulls. It still takes a lot out of me to try to keep steady enough. I still have to grab the strap but it's less and he doesn't pull as strong, I hope we'll be past this soon. I really think when he knows, understand and has the strength he'll be pretty automatic about everything. I think he'll be very-very hot, he gets hotter the fitter he gets but I think he'll be very honest and give his all. No matter how tired he is, he never gives up or throws in the towel. When he gets tired, he just tries harder. He has a lot of heart.


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## DanteDressageNerd

These ones didn't post. I thought I included them but forgot. Training/development is a process, part of why I'm showing it is the ups and downs and issue that are being addressed and developed. This is not an easy horse to develop but he is a good horse. When he pulls I try to engage my core so he cant pull me out of the saddle and ground my hands on the pommel, so it's harder to move the contact. Obviously haven't been able to make that perfect but Id challenge anyone to keep their hands perfectly still when a 17h 1300lb horse pulled. When he pulls that hard it's impossible to keep still and I'd rather not get him in the mouth when he pulls and offer a consistent contact. Can't ride this horse "conventionally," you have to be very mindful and work quite hard to manipulate his body (moving his shoulders, neck and rib cage) to get access to his back because his whole life he's been able to just brace his back, bare down on the bit and take off out of a start gait. This horse is very smart, he is right brained, he is very hot anxious. I am too strong in my seat from riding behind the leg wbs but I'm strong in my core which I need, so I don't get pulled out of the tack. Long-long ways to go but training is a process. It's not just perfect from the start, you have to be proactive and develop. Not just get fed up because it's hard or not perfect or you just want to show how perfect everything is. It's a false portrait of training. People always refer to what they see in the show ring and don't look in the warm up or what people do at home or what all went into the development of the horse or what rough patches the horse and rider went through. It's important to be mindful of the struggles too.


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## Tazzie

He'll get there! He has you and your trainers to guide him to be his best! Love watching the videos!

I get it. A lot of his "naughtiness" looks like a lack of understanding or a "this is hard!" Not him being bad per say.

The videos really are wonderful. And I know I couldn't keep still :lol: Izzie pulls me around on occasion too. All 15 hands and 1000 lbs of her :lol: I think you do a fabulous job with him that others wouldn't be able to accomplish.


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## Fimargue

DanteDressageNerd said:


> Firmargue- Thank you, I've actually never thought of myself as looking Finish. I'm actually German-Russian and Danish, some Dutch. My dad (both of his parents) are German-Russian and my mom is German/Danish (her mom German/Dutch and Dad Danish).


Wow, what a mixture of origins.  You definitely have the Scandinavian look.




DanteDressageNerd said:


> It's alright, I'm happy you feel comfortable enough to share with me  The pictures are lovely and looks like a really peaceful space. Harmony. I think breeding is a lovely goal and would be much fun! The colt is really cute! He looks sweet, is he very coltish?


I would like to breed dressage Arabians and half-Arabians with Warmbloods and Thoroughbreds most likely. Goal being horses that I would enjoy, so the mentality being top with good work ethic and forwardness. And obviously stunning to look at. :wink:

Frodo was never coltish, now he is a gelding. He was a little mouthy like they all are and nipped me once, but that ended quickly. He is just a sweetheart, and considering his mum is a really hot mare - wonderful mare, but probably the second, or third, hottest I know, luckily doesn't lose the plot with it. I like the Metall bred. His dad has a very cool head, so he is a nice mixture of both.


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## Fimargue

DanteDressageNerd said:


> These ones didn't post. I thought I included them but forgot. Training/development is a process, part of why I'm showing it is the ups and downs and issue that are being addressed and developed.
> ...
> 
> Not just get fed up because it's hard or not perfect or you just want to show how perfect everything is. It's a false portrait of training. People always refer to what they see in the show ring and don't look in the warm up or what people do at home or what all went into the development of the horse or what rough patches the horse and rider went through. It's important to be mindful of the struggles too.


Exactly. The hardest part is retraining a horse that has some issues from previous way of being ridden and needs the biomechanics re-educated.

The absolute perfect rides are pretty rare, unless one is never challenged. Dressage is nothing but challenges.


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## PoptartShop

Yeah, Wonder is definitely not being bad, he just needs some guidance.  He will get there for sure!
You understand him & vice-versa so you guys work very well together. Very true. It takes lots of time, patience & training. It is all worth it though.


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## whisperbaby22

Where do you have your strap?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- He will. He always tries his hardest 

Exactly! All of that is just figuring things out, getting tired and trying to work out the changes.

I don't think any of us can, they're SO much stronger than we are. We stay still, they fight themselves and soften.
________

Firmargue- lol I guess I've never thought of being a big mix of origins lol. Usually in the US it is much more varied. I figure my ancestors all come from generally the same area lol. But thank you!

Frodo sounds like a good colt, hope he continues to impress as he ages 

Good luck with the breeding program! Sounds like a wb sport horse program with more emphasis on arabs, tbs anglo-arabs. Should be interesting!

Yes it is. Changing the way they've gone for 5yrs of their life is no easy task. Getting him to understand and accept contact (racehorses are taught to bare down and lean). Come over his back, move his rib cage, engage his core. It's a lot of work but well worth it! And yes perfect rides are extremely rare!
________

Allison- Exactly. He's just seeking direction and testing the boundaries and trying to figure out the expectation. It's hard work for him! But thank you. I love working with him 
________

whisperbaby22- the strap is between the two rings on the pommel
________

Not much of an update but got a big bill on Frankie for shoes and board and was choking. I hope she sells in a reasonable amount of time.

Wonder had the day off. Rode the PRE and saddlebred, have another wb I'll be riding soon which will be fun. I like riding. Been super high anxiety lately, it's driving me nuts. Getting up in the night and all that. It's silly, my brain is just bothering me and I'm exhausted lol.


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## whisperbaby22

That's what I figured. And the high anxiety is part of being young. One good thing about being old is that it does get better.


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## Tazzie

Ugh, yes. Izzie was showing that to me last night, dang horses :lol:

Sorry about Frankie's bills :/ hopefully she does sell soon.

Glad Wonder got to enjoy a day off and you got to ride the two babies! Can't wait to hear about the WB! And ugh, I hear you on the anxiety. Wish it'd calm down already :lol:


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## PoptartShop

Ugh about the big bill for Frankie. :sad: I hope someone buys her soon as well. Riding the different horses will be fun too. It's always good to ride different ones, it can make you a better rider too since they can all teach you something different.  The WB will be a blast I'm sure!!
Sorry about your anxiety as well. It really is horrible to deal with & not easy at all. Virtual hugs!!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- You're absolutely right! I think it's that when youre young so much is left unknown and so much of our life is left to be lived and isn't settled, so it's easy to get overwhelmed and stressed. 
____________

Katie- lol darn horses is right, they're hard to keep up with sometimes.

I hope so too. I don't know how much longer I can afford to do it, I had to get a loan from my parents! 

I wish it would too! Hopefully yours will settle soon too! And he did. Wonder loves to work but rest is definitely good for him.
____________

Allison- Me too. The bills are OUTRAGEOUS! I had to get a loan! 

Definitely. I like having a good selection of horses to ride. Keeps me fit. I was sweating buckets today riding Antares and Charlie. I almost passed out from low blood pressure.

It really is. Thank you so much for helping me through it, I still have to read stuff to reassure myself and know things are okay. Plus the financials and applying to schools.
____________

Rode Antares (PRE), Charlie (3yr old saddlebred) and Wonder today. 

Antares and Charlie were testy today, supposedly there was going to be a storm tonight but I dont think it's coming. But Charlie really didn't want to pick up the left lead (his hard lead) he worked hard yesterday and I think he was just like nope, I want to call the shots and tried to switch directions on me and all kinds of stuff to avoid working hard but the trainer and I just stayed to it and we got him through it and he was good. He was lathered in sweat when we were done but that's how it goes when you throw a tantrum, are rude and start trying to call the shots. Important lesson for a young horse. Antares was good but testy, his mom rode him and I need to change my riding style some to make him a better match for her. I have a strong seat and leg and need to lighten my aids. I was sweating buckets from work and almost passed out from low blood pressure and low sugar :lol:

Wonder was good but we did a lot of turn on the forehands and changing his posture, so he would really ride between inside leg and outside rein. MUCH less pulling, he feels like he's getting so much stronger and like he's developing a lot more jump to his canter. He ran off with me a lot less and I'm getting much stronger in my core and trying not to let him pull me forward quite so much.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Some more Wonder pics


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## whisperbaby22

Yes it is the not knowing. But it goads one. When I was your age it kept me moving. Yes, part is anxiety of not knowing how your life will turn out, but it keeps you moving forward. If you didn't have it you would not be quite as motivated. So it has it's good points.


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## Tazzie

Yikes about needing to take on a loan! Fingers crossed someone sees Frankie's potential and snaps her up FAST! She's a nice girl, and I'm sure she could be show ready fairly quickly. Hopefully that right match comes along. Has there been any interest?

Ugh, gotta love baby moments. You just want to say "you realize you'd have worked MUCH less if you had just listened to me, right??" Babies!

Good look getting the PRE to be a good fit for his mom! I'm sure you'll do it 

Aww, yay for having a good ride on Wonder! He's looking so good!


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- Anxiety has it's merits, I think people are much more sympathetic and understanding when we have such an intense sense of compassion and empathy. It makes it hard to feel "safe" in my own mind but it is what it is. Guess I gotta just live with it and keep using it to push me forward.
____________

Katie- Yeah it is yikes! The amount of money spent is CRAZY to get her sold. We havent advertised her yet because they're still working to get her stronger to ask the kind of money we're looking at. She's a REALLY exceptional horse and I have no doubt will find a good home and hopefully fast when she is put on the market.

lol EXACTLY! Its like they have to throw their tantrum and get it out before they accept life as it is lol

I hope so. I'm physically so strong, I think from riding Wonder and Zoom the 18h 4yr old in Denmark. Riding wbs takes a good deal of strength and it's not that you "hold" them together or anything like that but that you're strong enough to resist them moving your body and pulling you out of the saddle and to quit working. You have to convince. 

He is. I'm so proud of him!
____________

Wonder was pretty sore yesterday, so we did mostly stretchy type work. He is hard to ride. I need to get TONS strong in my core, back and body, so he can't pull me forward so easily. He's just so strong and I need to be that strong, so we can get more and more consistency with him being light and consistently correct in the bridle. I have to remind myself he was a racehorse, he was ridden to be on the forehand, flat in the back and lean into the bit and pull down. It's just going to take time. I know I write it all the time but he's tough to ride and develop. It's really hard on my body, I've considered trying a draw rein on him and I am pretty strictly against draw reins but I get it in a case like him, so they can't pull at your body so hard. My back and core is really sore and it's not that I'm pulling against him but he's pulling against me and I have to resist so he doesn't pull me down which again is why I grab the strap, so he resists himself and backs off. Tough training process. 

I think he may need to see the chiropractor again and I've decided to do meso therapy to help his back. Even when you ask him to lift his back from the ground he will try to kick at me and has a pretty big tantrum. I just feel there is something going on back there. I just want him to be in the best shape possible and his back x rays from when I bought him are totally clean. All x rays are clean.

Also some selfies Wonder and I took in the sun because the day was so pretty.


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## Tazzie

Well, hopefully she gets stronger soon, and then she can be listed! I'm sure the right home is out there waiting for her!

Haha, exactly! Young minds :lol:

I understand what you mean 

Yikes! Hopefully you can get him figured out! I'll have to look up that meso therapy. That's one I haven't heard of yet.

I'm sure you'll get stronger soon too and be able to help Wonder learn to be nice and light!

Love the pictures!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- I feel like telling the trainer to just list her and get her sold. I need to get her sold so I can move on with my life.

Mesotherapy is great! It treats the nerve, so the muscles stop spasming and sending a pain signal. Wonder was really out. He had 4 ribs out and his illium. Just keep him happy. It's a good treatment for horses that have scar tissue and residual muscle damage. I think Wonder has a lot of scar tissue from being at the track for 5yrs of his life and thought it would be a good idea to treat.
_________

Update

I'm trying to deal head first with my anxiety. I think my insecurity and and anxiety is tied to being uncomfortable to trust anybody with me being vulnerable, hoping and relying on someone else. It scares me to allow myself to trust someone and really believe their affection is genuine. It scares me to let myself believe there is a future. It's scary. I keep imaging scenarios that freak me out and make me paranoid and I know it's just anxiety and it's all in my head, so I'm slowly working on changing my cognitive reasoning, so I don't make myself paranoid and scared when there is absolutely NO reason to be. The better things go with the guy, the more scared I become. I like him a lot. I can be made fun of but feeling a connection and feeling something like this towards someone is SO SO rar.e for me, it's a special thing and he's much the same way. So we'll see what happens but I have hope which is what scares me and brings out my insecurity, fear and anxiety. I'm insecure in myself and have such a hard time trusting and allowing myself to hope that I spin my wheels trying to protect myself and instead just drive myself nuts. But you know he makes time for me, he always mentions Wonder in positive way and jokes about it and other stuff, so I need to relax and learn to trust and allow myself to believe in the goodness of people. I'm just scared but it feels different, this really feels different, so IDK. I'm a deeply emotional person, much more than I let on and much more insecure than I let on too. I mean you can scream at me until you're red in the face and I wont give a dam$ but if I let someone into my heart, it's a totally different thing. It's like giving the keys to your vulnerability and heart.

I'm applying to the Danish university, so wish me luck and hope I get in!! I have hope! 

Wonder has mesotherapy and also saw the chiropractor. He had 4 ribs out and was quite snakkered to do the mesotherapy. It's very painful but even snakkered we had to put a lip chain on him and have his head at a wall. He was fighting but it should help him feel better long term.

Layla (wb mare) was REALLY good, we're making really good progress. Her laterals are excellent but I think she may need to see the chiropractor. She's pretty stuck going left but she's really starting to take weight behind and gains a ton of suspension which she can maintain for a little bit but it's LOVELY when she maintains it. Antares is really good too, he blows my mind. Almost half steps and only been undersaddle since November. But he's an 8yr old PRE and Charlie is doing better. I had to practice riding saddle seat and getting him to go more like a saddle horse. It's hard but FUN!! I sort of want to take saddle seat lessons on a park horse lol. I get the draw, it's fun! and definitely a skill.

I rode Wonder yesterday and he was great!! We spent a lot of time on a circle but he was a good boy. His laterals are much improved and now with the chiropractor and mesotherapy I hope he'll be better than ever! Plus his saddle being adjusted to fit him!

Browband I'd like to get Wonder

https://www.equiture.biz/ruby-and-iridescent-browband

yes Wonder will actually stop grazing to watch the sunset, he is an odd horse. He was also giving people kisses and asking them to kiss his nose. He's adorable.


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## Tazzie

Might be a good idea to just have her do it and be done with it :/ ugh.

Hopefully Wonder feels better! Poor guy! So much out! Hopefully that therapy works for him. I'll have to look into it to learn more.

Sorry you're having such a tough time. I understand the insecurity and stress about letting someone in. He seems like a good guy, so hopefully all will be ok.

Good luck getting into the Danish school!

Haha, Saddleseat is a whole different world. Blair's Park horse scared me, but it wasn't because he did anything wrong. Just a different style :lol: if you're up for it, I know she does lessons and such. It'd be a bit of a drive, but she's very, very good. She's outside of Louisville.

Glad all the others are doing well!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- I'd really like them to just start advertising and get her sold. It costs SO much money to keep a horse down in Florida, it's crazy!! She needs to find someone who will appreciate and adore her. She's such a sweet girl!

I think he does! He's quite pleased with himself! And honestly I think he is feeling better, is he completely better? I don't know but I sure hope so. He may need a few treatments to fully heal the old scar tissue.

He really is. He's an excellent man, people keep reminding me if he wasn't into me or if there was someone else he wouldn't write 4pgs of text or make the conversation so personal or bring up Wonder every time. Im told to RELAX, chill and have faith. As well as trust. It's just easier/more comfortable to doubt than to believe.

Thank you! It's very stressful! I'm working to get all the paperwork they want, it's just SO inconsistent and their expectations are unclear which is FRUSTRATING!!

That it is! I'd be interested but it's a bit of a travel for me and I can't be traveling too much. Need to preserve my funds!!

Thank you! I am too  I'm quite sore from all the development of collected work lol. 
______

Wonder is doing better after his treatment. He still has another day before I can put a saddle on him and we won't know the entirety of the difference it made for another week or so but I'm quite hopeful considering how well Wonder felt today. He LOVES to gallop and I figure he needs to get it all out of his system or he'll spin in circles and I'd rather him have a long gallop than spinning. He's much happier if he can run. To me he looks so happy, how can you not be happy watching him? However I do see why he was not as successful as a racehorse. He is just way too darn uphill. Great for an upper level dressage prospect, not so good for a racehorse. His gallop mechanics aren't very good. He has no where near the size of stride of the event horse I had. 











Rode Antares, Layla, and Charlie today. All were quite good. Layla is getting so much stronger and responding so much more appropriately. A lot of work still to get her stronger and she has excellent laterals. Though she likes to cheat and not truly bend through her rib cage in shoulder in/haunches in. So improving her laterals and half pass. Antares mom had a good ride on him today and he's MUCH more broke and going correctly, he's developing collection. He's not truly collected but it's a work in progress and Charlie is doing much much better. Much higher head carriage and adjustable in all 3 gaits.


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## knightrider

Love how Wonder switches leads back and forth. He is so beautiful!


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## Tihannah

He looks so happy! Glad to hear the mesotherapy worked so well. I really wish we had people down here that could do the things you and Katie are trying. Wonder truly adores you and it's lovely to see!


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## DanteDressageNerd

knightrider- Thank you, he loves his lead changes. I've asked for a hand full under saddle and he seems to get the idea but haven't touched the concept in a long time. SO many basics to cover first!
____________

Tina- He is. He's just a happy fellow, it's hard not to be happy when around him. It's contagious! Mesotherapy is great! It's really made a difference with Wonder!

Aww thanks. He does. He's a TOTAL mommies boy!
____________

UPDATE

Horses are doing well, everybody is going well. Antares was very trying today. He was awesome first half then he got tired and was like screw this and had a tantrum, so we ended up working on obedience and focusing on yes you may be tired but that doesn't mean you get to quite and tell us you're done.

Application process is STRESSFUL. I'm SO SO stressed out about the whole thing and trying to write an application letter and all that. SO frustrated because SO much of the information I wouldn't have found had I not specifically asked for it. Im sending my transcripts, military record and education and all that. I SHOULD have asked for recommendation letters and I might still *head desk* deadline is coming up next week Thursday, so I want EVERYTHING together, scanned and attached by tomorrow. Why am I such a procrastinator? 

I've started doing yoga which is actually REALLY REALLY helping me.

Layla and I from today, She tends to want to shoulder in and haunches in on 4 tracks, so I had to change it so she'd do it on 3 tracks which is a much more gymnastic exercise. She tries to avoid bending her rib cage.





More selfies in case you couldn't tell Wonder is a TOTAL mama's boy!! I look at these ones and I'm like okay I look very european. I'm German-Russian and Danish, hint of Dutch. But this horse is my favorite horse I've ever known. He's really hard to ride but he tries his heart out every ride and love what he does!

We actually did some jumping yesterday  Wonder was perfect. We even cantered and nailed our distance every time. It was small but Wonder was great. I wouldn't say he loves jumping but he was alright with it. Then we did dressage and he was fantastic! I was struggling to catch my breath but he was wonderful! Mr Wonderful was wonderful :lol: Lots of half halting and transitions, had to run him into the fence a few times because he forgot what brakes were but he was a good boy and tried so hard! He's getting it. Showed him haunches in and that really helped him out a lot!


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## Tazzie

*fingers crossed* Frankie is sold soon! I'm sure the right situation will show itself soon!

He looks amazing! I'm glad it seems to have helped him so much! And that your rides are going well! Must be feeling super good if his brakes weren't working :lol: that is usually Izzie's sign she feels good. The brakes go out :lol:

Yes, take some deep breaths. I think he's interested in you long term 

I get that! If you ever find yourself over that way, let me know! She'd be a treat to learn under!

I'd imagine! My abs hurt getting off of Izzie after we've worked through our collected work :lol: hurts so good!

So will Charlie be a Saddleseat horse then? Just curious 

I'm glad the horses are going well  good luck with the application process! UGH!

I'm also glad you're doing yoga! It's SO good for you!

Love the selfies as always


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- Thank you! I really hope so!

I HATE when the brakes go out and a horse can literally stiffen it's neck against you to where a one rein stop doesn't work. Wonder and I literally spun in a circle for over a minute. Then he softened. 

I think so too. Every single guy friend has said the same thing. I'm REALLY trying to fight my anxiety because it comes in waves, I'll be fine, fine, fine then OMG my brain is spinning its wheels and coming up with ridiculous stuff that doesn't matter. My sister has me doing breathing exercises to calm down because I have to re-train my brain.

Thank you! That'd be great, maybe before I go!

lol exactly! Hurts so good! Layla, Wonder and Antares REALLY make me sore. 

No saddle seat future for Charlie, he doesn't have enough action. His future will likely be western.

But thank you! I'm doing my best and the application is almost complete. I've uploaded all my documents and need help with my admissions essay. I'm a perfectionist with a high anxiety temperament who really wants it, so VERY VERY stressed :lol:
________

update

I'm staying pretty busy. Rode 5 horses yesterday which was fun! Took the PRE down the road and got bolted off with into the snow which unfortunately I don't even have a stress reaction anymore. Got bolted off with again today on the road for NO reason, his spooks come out of nowhere and are so fast it's unreal. 

Wonder video. Please keep in mind this is a VERY hot, tense horse. He's also incredibly strong. He was a racehorse, ridden primarily by males who hung off the mouth. Breaking through this is tough, I had a moment where he literally pulled me out of the saddle using his neck. He was very difficult this day, I rode him for an hour and 40min. Plus I had food poisoning, so took a break half way and got back on because if he has energy to bolt, run through half halts that require me to run him into the wall 10 times and side pass both direction walk and trot down the wall to get him to RESPECT the bit. So I'm being strong for a reason. It's strong to soften, strong to soften. The next day he was MUCH MUCH better, MUCH lighter in the bridle and MUCH more respectful. Only had to run him into the wall twice. And a 25min ride. And today we lunged.






On the lungeline his movement has totally transformed since this and his posture is different too. I love seeing the changes. His mechanics are getting better. He's slowing down and learning that every aid doesn't mean grab the bit and charge forward. He's learning how to use his back and engage from behind. It's just going to take time, eventually he'll become lighter and lighter and actually respond to core-seat half halts. He gets them but when it gets hard he tries to grab the bit and bare down, run through and charge. So ran into the wall a lot. Bolting is not a viable option. So it's been half halt, move a side step. so lots of connection between inside hind leg outside rein and getting him to respect the outside rein, not travel past his shoulder and bend through his rib cage so he can through and stretch forward into the contact. Long process. Tail swishing is from the whip, he HATES the whip but he needs to be able to ride with one.

Im having a hard time dropping weight, I think it's stress :-(


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## DanteDressageNerd

Alright first rant.

It absolutely boggles my mind how nasty and vindictive some people can be. Absolutely boggles my mind like WHO has time to go around going through people's stuff just to pin point everything wrong? I don't think I could live in my own head with any kind of joy or happiness if all I did was go through other people's stuff to insult, undermine and belittle them. It signals to me a very insecure, vindictive person who feels so poorly about themselves that they feel the need to tear down others with the idea being that going after someone else will somehow make them look better. Well it DOESNT, it makes you look petty and miserable. I really can't imagine how miserable and unhappy someone has to be to be so unfair and rude. It represents poor character.

Well another Wonder video. After this I was like something isnt right, this isnt normal for this horse. So we've started gastric ulcer treatment (again) and the chiropractor is coming out tomorrow to see him. He'll be adjusting me too. Then we may be doing a muscle injection because we think he has scar tissue in his back right side which has always been his less sound direction. But we know the issue isn't in a leg, it's in his back. Clean x-rays. I'm waiting to hear about the specialist dentist who is supposed to come and do Wonder's teeth some day because I'd like that to be done too. 

Again note this is a very hot, very quirky horse. This is not from heavy hands or strength. I now know he has a rib out that he was protecting. 






Wonder playing





Rode Antares (PRE), Layla (wb mare), Charlie and B (saddlebreds). 

Everyone is doing well. I was bolted off with Antares twice, he reacts like a bull horse (which is what he was bred for). So fast and out of no where. His big thing is he was a pasture horse until he was 7, so he DOESNT like to release control. I did quite a bit of in hand today and I asked him to move his shoulder and he got on his back two legs and came at me so I got after him and made him move his shoulder. The reaction was because he is dominant and wanted to control the situation. He also ran out of the arena twice to try to test and control the situation, so I just went to bend and looked at the sky and waited until he stood still and then walked him back into the arena and made him work. Then he was a super star. I really made my square of this is my dance space, this is your dance space and he through a HUGE fit about a canter transition without throwing his shoulders around and made him collect the trot into the canter. Then he got over it but with him everything is about obedience, respect and listening. He just wants to control the situation and be a bully. We also did desensitization (I work with a natural horsemanship trainer) as well who was opening umbrellas, playing with the plastic bags and tarp, etc while I rode like nothing was happening. It's SUCH an important process. I don't get why most dressage people dont do desensitization. 

B was alright. 

Layla and Charlie has vaccines, so they had the day off but have been doing very well. Layla is starting half steps and gets them pretty well. Her whole hind end is SO much more active than it used to be, before she moved very huntery.

Rode Wonder at the walk. He was pretty testy so basically set my hand on the pommel of the saddle (he can pull incredibly hard against the hand, prior race horse and he actually tore my core muscles the other day), asked him to move his hind end over and accept the outside rein. Changed direction did 10m half circle serpentines down centerline and then he was really nice in the contact and light. He felt very correct, in self carriage, etc. SO big deal. He tried to take off several times and threatened me but all I wanted was for him to walk and respect my aids. Any aid he tried to turn into a go forward cue and I'd just return to walk and have him do big walk, little walk, laterals steps, and had him be straight. Him going forward is not a lack of understanding, it's his evasion to avoid engaging his hind quarters and coming over his back.

I also really need new breeches, mine have holes in them which you cant see but they're 3yrs old and been ridden in several times a day for years. So it's time :-( it's just SO hard for me to find a good fit!


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## Tazzie

Man, I hope you figure out what is going on with Wonder :sad: poor guy! I haven't seen him fight you quite like that before. You had some nice moments, but I do hope you can get to the bottom of it.

I love all the pictures and videos though! I LOVE the video of Wonder playing! He's so handsome!

I'm glad the others are going well. And I agree. I do A LOT of desensitization, and always wondered why others didn't. It's rather important to have them used to a bunch of random things so they don't react.


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## knightrider

All right--can you tell us more about your opening rant? No names, just what happened. You've teased us and now we want to know so we can be mad and upset for you and with you.

I have a funny story about desensitization. At the Maryland Horse Fair one year, my joust troupe and I were doing a jousting show. We were right after a dressage demonstration. As the dressage people were leaving, we were arriving wearing clanking armor, carrying huge flags, spears, shields, and lances, with the horses adorned with trappings, ribbons and feathers. My appaloosa was walking quietly along until she came to the dressage barrier. "Oh! My! Gosh!" she said as she flipped out. "What! Is! That!???" She skidding alongside the barrier, refusing to step over it. The dressage riders laughed their heads off (along with me) because she tolerated all that noisy weird heavy junk hanging off her, but was terrified of the dressage barrier.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- Me too. My vet suggested we scope him to see if he really does have ulcers and so we know where theyre located IF he has them before we order gastroguard. I have some left over from the last time I treated him that I'm using up and we'll see how Wonder does when he comes off of it. He also gets purina outlast. HUGE difference between when he's on it and off of it
https://www.purinamills.com/horse-feed/products/detail/purina-outlast-gastric-support-supplement
and supersport
https://www.purinamills.com/horse-feed/products/detail/supersport-amino-acid-supplement

then 3 scoops of fat, unlimited amount of hay, black as knight, MSM/glucoseamine, magnesium, and vitamin E. And 3 fair sized grain meals a day with beet pulp, and a high fat performance grain
https://www.bigdweb.com/product/buckeye+safe+n+easy+performance+50+lb.do

But we think he has scar tissue from racing in his muscles on the right side. The muscle that's hurting is the one that meets the hind leg. Its bothered him since I've known him and he's getting much more even and better with strength but something isn't right with that muscle group. So I think we'll be doing a muscle injection with seropin to treat it. I want to be proactive so Wonder doesn't learn a pain response. But thank you. He's certainly not a naughty horse by nature, he's very hot and sensitive and incredibly smart but not naughty or mean.

Aww thank you  he's a handsome boy! He still has stallion characteristics as well which I find interesting. He wasn't gelded until 5, so he has the jowls and sort of the hip where he stand close together behind. Stallions always want to protect their balls :lol:

Thank you! I am too! And I agree. It's so important because you CANT control the environment or show environment but you can best prepare a horse for the situations it will face. It's kindness and fairness to prepare a horse for what's to come, it's like giving someone a test and only giving them half the information of what's going to be on that test. Then blaming them for fear when they weren't prepared or given adequate information.
____________

knightrider- I appreciate the concern but no worries! No one has been going after or insulting me (that I'm aware of). I was merely expressing a BIG character flaw that bothers me. It's something I do not understand. I was just reading comments on various facebook pages and Im just shocked appauled by how negative, vindictive and quick to excite some people can be. It seems the people who always comment on those sort of things are the ones who like to throw temper tantrums. 

lol appies can be pretty funny about things. lol everything is fine but God forbic there is a white fence around the edge of an arena, my oh my lol. Horses are funny.

Not great conformation shots and I WISH is showed how much muscle he's put on his topline, especially his neck but being black doesn't help. But the first 3 are from the racetrack and the last 3 are from yesterday.

Wonder and I are seeing the chiropractor today.


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## Tazzie

Scoping is definitely a good idea! Kind of a double edged sword though. You hope he has them since it'd solve the questions, but then it's pricey to treat so you kind of hope it's not. Ugh!

Hopefully the injection helps. When would he be getting that done, and how soon after you do it does it show improvement? I don't know anything about injecting muscles :lol:

And goodness! Does explain some of his behavior at least being that he was cut that late! :lol: about protecting his balls though!

Yup! I discipline for bad behavior, but I reassure through fear. There is no sense getting mad when fear is involved.

And love the pictures! He looks so good with you!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- Im thinking about it once Frankie sells. It's $300 to scope at the clinic!

Improvement is seen within a few days, I think I want to do it because it's this same muscle that's been tight since I bought him. It's gotten better but it's not 100% 

They do though! I swear they do! Stallions are very protective of their balls, it's why they always stand close behind. It's also why in extensions they tend to swing wide behind :lol:

Precisely how it should be!!

And thank you! I appreciate him and appreciate you 
_____________

Rode Antares, Layla, and Sam (morgan saddleseat). They were all really lovely to ride today, I'm getting better and better. 

Antares was really good, much more between the shoulders. Much straighter, much more balanced, much stronger and riding much more like a trained horse. Much more moments of self carriage, better engagement, etc. Didn't do much with laterals but desensitization has been a priority. 

Layla is getting a lot stronger and FINALLY getting the half steps and things. She's gotten a lot stronger with a lot more swing and engaging from behind to a far greater degree. 






Lunged Wonder today and he was very good. Today is the most relaxed and at ease I have ever seen him. He's a VERY intense horse, even just to stand next to and work with but today was the first time he really seemed at peace. I'm glad the relaxation is coming faster and faster. It's been a goal for a while.

Rode him on Friday and Saturday, he was quite good. Still opinionated and VERY VERY hot. Saddle is being refitted tomorrow. But he's having a lot more moments of being light, consistent, over his back and almost accept me holding a whip at the canter. I still have to be very careful because if he sees it move, he tenses, buck and tries to take off. Also breaking through his taking the bit habit on the right which on a one rein stop which we do at least twice in a ride because he'll take off and I've told him we can do a managable hand gallop but the moment he takes control we stop. So had to teach him the one rein stop which was running into the wall but progress has been made. But on the right he will literally take the bit and pull me out of the saddle, so if I take the right I have to be in two point, take a short hold of the right rein, put pressure on his neck and stop him so he can't take the bit and bolt. Re-training. Cantering right with the right rein I have to use all 4 fingers to grab the oh sh!t strap so he doesn't try to pull me out. Then he softens and then I can carry my hands but to start I have to grab the strap or he'll pull me out and not soften and just get tense and run. He definitely takes the most out of me of everyone, so much core. He's literally ripped my core before. 

I'm not sure what I'll do with him when I got back to DK. He's a tough-tough horse to ride and honestly the majority of the professionals in my area couldn't ride Wonder successfully. They'd ruin him. Wonder is REALLY freaking hot and he's SUPER SUPER smart. Plus he's too uphill, so it takes a ton of core and timing to get access to his back. Leasing him out is out of the question, I don't want him ruined, especially after I've put in so much work to quiet his mind (Still in process), to get the relaxation (still a process) and getting him to soften to the bit (still a process). But I've put a lot into him and I want him to continue down that road. He isnt' something you can just turn out in a pasture he'd LOSE it. I know because he did while I was in DK the last time, so I'm thinking of sending him to the Natural horsemanship trainer I work for. I think that would be best for him.

Im also glad my weight is finally coming down after Denmark and I'm getting back to the weight I was before. Still have a ways to go but I'm getting healthy again.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I'm honestly just tired and burnt out.

Wonder is feeling pretty sick atm. He had a bad reaction to vaccines and is really sore :-( I gave him some banamine and it's helping but we have to put his hay in a hay net and his grain on top of a bucket so he can eat it. I may try to see about doing titers on his blood, rather than vaccinating him next time. He's taking is pretty rough and it's really hard for me to see. He's SO stiff and looks like he's so miserable. 

Also found out Wonder has a stifle problem. Mark (vet) looked at my riding video from the night before and said his right hind push off looks wrong and so we blocked his right stifle and he rode like a normal horse. He wasn't crazy hot or flipping his head, nothing. He was good in the contact, light and properly responsive. So we will be doing irap or surgery after the ultrasound on Tuesday (couldn't ultrasound then due to blocking fluid). But I've decided to do whatever Wonder needs. He has the biggest, kindness heart. I cried and he just laid his forehead to mine and let me cry on him. He's so incredibly sweet.

I'm actually pretty emotionally drained between guy problems, Wonder feeling ill and bills. Frankie still hasn't sold. Wonder isn't feeling well and that breaks my heart. I just held his head and kissed his forehead for a while. He loved it. Then irap or surgery costs which is going to cost a lot. Not sure if I got into the University or not but paying some fees there too. 

I was told today my problem is I'm too nice and too passive. It's why in my personal life I don't get the respect I deserve. I'm too understanding and basically too nice, too sweet. I despise that in myself. Professionally as a Marine I was still nice and passive but people p!ssed me off a few times, so people knew the other side and I was much tougher and rougher around the edges. I've calmed down a TON. I'm either passive or aggressive, I need to meet somewhere in the middle with it. It's a problem. People can be so sh!tty, especially if you're too nice. I feel like a doormat anymore like what happened to me? It also frustrates me that we live in a world where if you're kind, honest and do what is right by others you basically get sh!t on and treated badly. It's why I can't stand humanity in general. I try to see the good in it but it's mostly philosophy, day to day people are just people selfish and unkind. It's sad :-( but it is what it is.

Some video of Antares


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## whisperbaby22

That horse is a bit huskier than the horses around here. That's bad news about Wonder. I'm hoping that whatever he needs to have done will come out all right.

We all have pressures put upon us. What matters is the way we react. Even at my age, I still have to say to myself "OK, I am reacting to some kind of pressure, is this reasonable or am I over reacting?" Probably right now you have so much going on that you are going to feel this way. Only you can figure a way out of it. But time has a way of helping. Frankie will sell, Wonder will recover from the vaccine reaction. "Tomorrow is another day" is kind of trite, but it's true.


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## JoBlueQuarter

I only just found this journal, but I'm definitely subbing! I love following your experiences.

I hope guy problems Wonder's medical problems and everything else gets sorted out!

And I know what you mean when you say you're ' too nice'. I'm sometimes classified as that myself.

Antares is a gorgeous horse! You guys look great!


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- You're absolutely right! Tomorrow is another day. Whatever is to be will be. We just have to focus on building our lives forward. However I think it's also very important to process emotions as they occur. Emotions are important and it's important we dont get stuck but at least acknowledge them, so we can move forward. 

Wonder is doing much better. He was back to himself today. He's on banamine atm. Im hoping for irap and not surgery.
__________

JoBlueQuarter- Thank you. Welcome to my journal lol. 

Thank you. It will sort itself out, what's meant to be will be and what isn't will fall away. But I'm hoping it's just irap and not surgery. It would be 90 days of recovery and Wonder on stall rest, even day 1 he'd need ace. He's a very hot horse.

Certainly. It's often not a complement. It reminds me of Machiavelli's "is it better to be loved or feared." And really it's best to be both but if you're feared people will respect you, where as if you're loved you're relying on fickle and fleeting and whether or not people feel like being fair.

Thank you. I quite like him. He was broke in November.
__________

I've been processing my emotions and quite bitter and angry, remembering some of the things my exs put me through. I've dated two psychopaths, one was a narcissist and a sociopath (psychopath and sociopath are interchangeable terms now). I'm no stranger to emotional manipulation and abuse. I'm used to men (in relationships) appearing one way for months and then they gradually morph into someone else and by that time you're convinced they're so great, you make excuses that are reasonable but it takes a while to figure out what they are and by then your self confidence is shattered and you think no one else could ever love you. It's hard to believe anyone is legitimate when you can be deceived like that. 

Video of Wonder from yesterday. Vet said to keep him in work. His saddle was also fixed and is right for him, hes quite happy with it! He is on banamine from the vet until we ultrasound his stifles. If it's a meniscus tear than surgery, if it's arthritis, etc than it's irap which is a much more effective therapy than simply injecting it. He's too young to just do a steroid injection for the rest of his life.


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## Zexious

Wishing all the best for Wonder, and for you as well! He really is a lovely looking horse.

Have you considered talking to a professional about your problems? It could be beneficial to get some of what you're feeling off your chest. :')


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## whisperbaby22

I think that in part this journal is therapy. Expressing yourself to people who are outside the circle that presses on you does let off a bit of steam. Knowledge comes in many forms, for some people I'm sure therapy helps. But it's not the only answer. The important thing is to keep looking.


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## Tihannah

Wonder looks great in the videos! So glad the vet was able to pinpoint what's going on. Fingers crossed that the surgery doesn't cost an arm and a leg.

I know you've been feeling down lately, but please know that there are a lot of people that truly appreciate your kind nature. Those that try to take advantage are not worthy of being in your life nor having you dwell on them. It is not you that's broken, it is them. Sending much love and good thoughts your way!


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## frlsgirl

Hello! I have a lot of reading to catch up on! I see you are at a new barn? Sorry Wonder isn’t feeling 100%; curios to find out what further examinations reveal. 

Being nice and caring are wonderful personality traits! Please don’t change. You are perfect just the way you are!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Zexious- I have a psychiatrist. I do not go to a counselor because it doesn't help me. I'm treated for anxiety and depression, as well as ADHD. 

But thank you. I absolutely love Wonder, he's the best horse I've ever known. Biggest heart, so kind, incredible intelligence and great work ethic.
__________

whisperbaby22- I agree. It's nice to vent, therapy isn't always the solution. I think processing and accepting is. Handling like an adult. You can't fix everything and that's okay. I think becoming an adult is accepting the imperfections and not expecting cures for everything.
__________

Tina- Thank you. I'm really proud of Wonder. He's finally getting better with the banamine and hopefully a real-long term solution tomorrow after the ultrasound.

Thank you for being such a good friend to me and for understanding. I know you've been through a lot too and are very familiar with psychopaths. You can never explain the damage they can do to someone who hasn't experienced it. I think it's hard for someone to believe that kind of evil exists but thank you so much *hugs*
__________

Tanja- Long time no see! Hope all is going well for you! I'm at two barns atm. Wonder is still at the barn he's always been and I take lessons there but I work at another barn and ride there. I get a variety of horses to try and get some different lessons, small tid bits to work on or how to make a horse more amateur friendly or easy to ride for an amateur vs riding a horse for a professional rider. Good lessons.

But thank you. I don't think I can change my heart, it hasn't with what has happened in my life but I think I need to be more assertive and firmer with people. More demanding.
__________

Update

Wonder is still on banamine. I'm praying for irap and not surgery because surgery is REALLY expensive and I don't have the money right now. Frankie is draining my financial resources. I know my vet would work with me on a payment plan but it's still a lot of money and may prevent me from going to Denmark. Frankie NEEDS to sell ASAP. It is SO SO expensive down there and I was LIVID when I found out they haven't even made a video of her yet!! LIVID. I've spent 10k just to get her there and on board and everything. I'm SO SO mad. It's SO expensive and I feel like I've been pushed aside because I'm not pushy and demanding enough, it's so annoying how you have to basically push and demand people to take you seriously and understand how much of financial strain it is. I've taken a loan.

I want to be able to afford whatever Wonder needs but I am hopeful. I may have to leave Wonder behind when I go back to Denmark BUT if his stifle's are fixed I MIGHT be able to find someone who can ride him. He is still SUPER DUPER hot and VERY VERY strong. It takes an unbelievable amount of core strength to ride him but he's not so hot or so strong that it's causing me pain anymore.


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## whisperbaby22

Well for cryin out loud no wonder she hasn't sold yet! Darn them for pushing her aside like this.


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## Tihannah

I can't believe they haven't even listed Frankie yet!! What the hell are they waiting on?? I would be livid!


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## frlsgirl

OMG! 10k just to get her into the sales barn? You can buy a decent horse for that money! Do you get some of that back once she sells? I always wondered how that worked. Now excuse me while I google what the heck "irap" is...lol


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- I'm not happy about it either but hopefully it'll be back on track and they'll get the video done ASAP. We talked about it. Trying not to get too mad.
__________

Tina- I was pretty livid but the way I see it is nothing can be done to change what's been done, just have to keep trecking forward. She saw the chiropractor. Hopefully soon there will be video of Miss Frankie. She needs a home of her own.
__________

Tanja- It wasn't to get into the sales barn, I just sent her but the cost of shipping, board, shoes, chiropractor, x-rays, etc. 

https://thehorse.com/119387/sorting-out-irap-prp-and-stem-cells/
__________

Last full ride on Wonder for a while. We ended up doing prp (platelet rich plasma) which is still expensive but WAY better than surgery. Everything looked normal but he had repeated swelling, so we treated and hopefully this will help regenerate against whatever is going on. Prayers this works!!

I have 30 syringes for ace. Wonder is still a very hot horse, with one day off he often needs a 2hr ride the next day. Gotta love thoroughbreds, intense workaholics or at least Wonder is. So ace because he needs to be in work but it needs to be LIGHT work, so lots of long and low and no Wonder workaholic mode! Minimal laterals and anything that may stress his stifles. 2 days tack walking then gradually re-introducing trot. Just gotta be slow with it. It takes 3-4 weeks for it to fully take affect. 

One direction he did a few lead changes because the whip end moved, so I had to drop it. Some laterals at like 3min something.


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## Loner

First of all.Semper Fi. I am a retired Marine.My horses are my therapy now.I also miss the Marine Corps.
.


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## Loner

Semper fi


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## Tazzie

Just got caught up, whew!

I'd be SO MAD at the people with Frankie. I'd start pushing NOW for a video! Is there even any proof they are working her, or are you paying for her to sit in a stall? I'm such a wary person I'd be wanting proof they are actively doing something with my horse. Lord this makes me mad for you!!

I'm sorry about the dude too :sad:

Wonder looks great! Fingers crossed and prayers for Wonder that the PRP helps him! Keep us posted how he's doing!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Loner- Semper Fi!! Horses are great therapy!
_________

Katie- I know she's being worked, she's way too much fun to sit and I know they want the commission. So she's seeing the chiropractor and getting her teeth done and video should be done ASAP. Im pretty mad but it's done, time to move on and get things going.

Things are fine with the guy. It's a lot of getting to understand each other, give and take. We're both very complicated people, typical "standard" assessments aren't accurate. If it's going to work out, it will. Talked a lot with the people in my life I greatly respect and got some good insight into serious adult relationships and different personalities types. The good news is my anxiety isn't getting to me anymore. I'm a lot more at ease and just letting it be what it'll be. It may seem odd but I trust him and I can't say that about most people.

Thank you! I really hope it works out too!! I want him to be 
___________

Not much of an update.

Wonder is living on ace. I gave him too little today but it wasn't enough. We walked bareback in a cooler because it was so cold. Rode Layla, Antares and Charlie.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad she's at least being worked. She does seem fun! I just have trust issues, so I'd be wanting proof :lol: and sure hope that all happens SOON! Fair enough though.

I'm glad things are going well with him!

Poor Wonder. Hopefully he can make it through without hurting himself! A bareback walk sounds like it could be pleasant :lol: and yay for riding the others!


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## frlsgirl

Glad you have a plan in place for Wonder. Laterals stress stifles hmmm been doing a ton of that with Ana lately because it helps with throughness; engaging abs and lifting back. Now excuse me while I google what Ace is. I did research IRAP; sounds interesting; supposedly 90% Success rate.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- I do too. I know she's being ridden and hopefully they'll get themselves in gear and take the DAM* video and get her on the market, you'd think they'd want the commission. 

Me too. I like him a lot. I think we're well suited to each other, it may not be right for a lot of people but it works for me. As long as I understand him and he understands me. We're emotionally and psychologically complex people who are very independent but genuine and loyal. We're the sorts who like to be alone.

I'm glad to have such a good variety of horses to ride, keeps me fit while Wonder is on a break. We will start some light trot work tomorrow. Today I ended up riding without ace, he was quite intense but after he settled into the mindset of we're just walking he was SUPER intense about it. How big can I walk without trotting seemed to be out game, then we walked around the property and into the fields and Wonder was quite playful. Any excuse to go for a gallop. 
_____

Tanja- Yes laterals are great for engagement and throughness but not so good atm, so more shallow loops and changes of direction on a wide turn radius. Trying to keep the stifles from being overworked so they can heal. 

Ace is basically a sedative to bring Wonder's intensity down. Very-very hot horse, very very intense workaholic. Only horse I've ever worked with who could work 6 days in a row with 2 days of 2hr rides and on the 6th day come out of the stall like it's the first and ready to go for 2hrs. He's an intense workaholic. So drugging to keep him from doing too much and hurting himself. Light, calm, long and low type rides.
_____

not really an update but dropped my bottle of ace all over the ground and have to buy a new bottle. Wonder NEEDS the sedative if we're going to keep him in light work, he doesn't understand what "light" means. He's a VERY intense workaholic who LOVES to go and to work. He is happiest in work. As hot as he is, he isnt spooky. He's very interested in everything around him, a truck went by with a flapping blue tarp and Wonder just watched it go by unconcerned. He loves life and I love that about him and his sweetness. He really appreciates all that I do for him and I appreciate all that he does for me. He's my soul mate in horse form.

Spent 7hrs cleaning the barn for a clinic. As a former Marine, I'm clean up crew for a really deep, good clean. Cleaned from the ceiling, walls and down. At least I'm good for something :lol:


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## Loner

SEMPER FI Sounds like Your really enjoying Your Horse.I am a retired Marine with a few combat related problems and my Horses are my therapy.I love My Horses.


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## frlsgirl

Wonder sounds very "German" obsessed with working and needs a sedative to keep himself in check  There have been days where I wished I could have given Ana some Ace but as quickly as she gets upset about stuff, she also calms down fairly fast.

I'm sure the barn has never been so clean. Don't do too good of a job or they will want you to this every time they have a special event


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## Tazzie

Exactly! You'd think they'd want some money... hopefully this weekend a video will be made.

I understand! I'm glad you found someone you connect with 

A good variety is nice!

And I'm glad Wonder settled down into just walking for the day! Awesome! It's also he loves his work so much, but silly boy! Need to take it easy to heal!


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## knightrider

DanteDressageNerd, you know ten times more about riding and horses than I do, so take everything I am saying with a grain of salt.

My sweet riding buddy neighbor gives ACE to horses when he is nervous. When he had my Acicate, before I bought him, he was giving him ACE every day because he was scared of him. I thought Acicate was the coolest, neatest horse I had ever seen in my life and wanted only the best for him. I was worried about daily ACE and looked it up on the internet. I learned there is a lot of controversy about ACE. You probably already know this. Some vets will never give it to geldings because it has the potential to make them drop the penis, which cannot be retracted without a lot of medication and vet visits. Some stallions have died. Other vets insist that only HUGE overdoses can cause problems. My neighbor worked for 30 years at a hunting lodge and they ACEed the horses every day, every ride, and never had a single problem. He thinks I am wrong, wrong, wrong.

One reason why I gave away our pony and bought Acicate from my neighbor was because he was constantly dropping his penis, and not always retracting it right away. I thought the ACE might be affecting him. I hoped with regular riding and careful management, I could get Acicate going without the ACE.

After Acicate was mine, I researched the ACE even more thoroughly, and what I was seeing had nothing to do with giving him ACE in higher and higher doses. If the gelding drops his penis and cannot retract it, it happens once, and then you are in deep doo doo. This, obviously never happened to my Acicate. I have noticed that after owning him a year, he hardly ever drops his penis, and before, he was dropping it at least twice a ride. Probably a coincidence, and probably just because he has become happy and comfortable in his very own herd.

About half the articles and vets I read about said ACE will not hurt a horse given every day. You probably already know all this stuff, and I should MMOB. I love reading your journal, support you 100%, and hope for the best for you every single day.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Loner- Absolutely! Horses are great therapy, every moment spent with them is good to concentrate on other things.
_______

Tanja- lol pretty much. Wonder has a german work ethic :lol: it's good Ana calms down, Wonder tends to get obsessive and hyped up more and more, so I don't want him to overwork.
_______

Katie- Certainly!

Thank you. I am too. 

That's what I keep telling him! Wonder take it in stride, focus on relaxation and it'll be okay.
_______

knightrider- Thank you for your concern. Wonder hasn't been "dropping" more on ace (my bottle smashed). I like ACE, I don't think it should be relied on but personally I haven't had any problems when using it. But value and appreciate you sharing your insight and experience with it 

And thank you for the good wishes and kind thoughts, I'm truly touched! Thank you!
_______

Not much update

Did some trot today with Wonder and he was great, super springy, in rhythm and confident. Enjoying the long and low, very forward but solid as could be. He was a good boy!


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## frlsgirl

He looks great. Our barn's TB "Red" is cleaning up at Dressage comps. He is making so much progress; his trot is so springy and lovely. He was the first horse at the comp yesterday for which I was the scribe and the judge was very impressed by him. It' like he was made to do Dressage. He can get kind of hyped up as well and does weird nervous things with his tongue but is so business like under saddle, just very impressive.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Thank you. He's coming along. His canter is his strong suit and he has good basics mechanics, it's just a matter of developing the strength, push power, elasticity, relaxation and getting him there. He's very very hot. 

That's good, there are a lot of thoroughbreds who can do quite well in dressage. How many have upper level potential is a question of the individual. Most I don't think of as upper level prospects but are brilliant low level horses. 
_________

Update

Tried to take Wonder out on a hack out in the fields and discovered that was a bad idea. Flying, leaping, bucking, spinning and no woah across the fields and over ponds. Not what I wanted. Then walked and trotted in the arena and walked around the property which Wonder loves. He's like trying to ride a saddle seat horse while the fire crackers are going off. 

Then today he passaged in hand for about 5 minutes. I decided without ace he needs to work EVERY day 7 days a week, even if all he does is a little trot. He NEEDS a job or he goes looney toons. 

Some Layla. She's pretty downhill moving, so right now we're working a lot on getting her to take the weight behind. I think she needs to see the chiropractor as we've dealt with saddle fit issues but she's coming along. MUCH lighter in the bridle, lot more work on half pass but it's coming. Walk to canters and canters to walk are a work in progress. Shoulder in and haunches in have gotten a lot better, developing collection. It's hard for her. She gets upset when she has to really carry behind which makes me think chriopractic.





Antares was very testy today. Bolted with me out the door and into the field. Had to dismount and we had an on the ground conversation about moving shoulders, respect, and listening. Then I lunged him and then got back on and MADE him carry himself. He was FURIOUS, was like I cant canter that way and made him toe the line. He ended up really light, great in the bridle and felt really really good. But he's very testy.


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## frlsgirl

Holy cow, that was one heck of a buck. Well ridden!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- Thanks. It wasn't my best ride with Layla. I think she needs to see the chiropractor and she was much better today. Today was the first time she really responded correctly to the core seat half halt, lowering her croup and lifting through her shoulder. It was a nice feeling. Still working on half steps to help her figure out how to rock back and engage. I think it is also hard for her because she's very long in the body and short in the neck. 

Her canter was quite good today, did quite a bit of counter canter because she was getting tired and grabbing the bit and I was like fine half halt, rebalance and drop, half halt, rebalance and drop. Then she softened and accepted direction. But training and expecting a higher degree is sometimes ugly until they're stronger, really get it then it look effortless. I think so often people see what's in the show ring and forget what happens behind closed doors. Where you end isn't where you start.

Antares was very good. He's MUCH MUCH more self carrying now. Had a big discussion about it. He didn't want to move laterally, he wanted me to take the rein and carry him and I was like nope move over, carry yourself and if I touch the rein with my ring finger you shoulder soften sir. He also did some half steps. It amazes me how easy collection is for these PREs. They're such cool horses. I need one lol.

Wonder was HOT HOT HOT but we got another bottle of ace, so we're on a 2ccs regime so we can prevent Wonder from hurting himself. We NEED these stifles to heal. Yesterday I rode him for an hour walk and trot and he passaged around the barn for 5 min. He is ALWAYS ready to go. I'm working to get him a bit less hot and sensitive, especially if I try to lease him out at some point. Definitely a process. He's extremely hot, very sensitive and very-very strong but is getting SO SO much better in the bridle. He is getting so much lighter and softer and responding to half halts and finger pressure.


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## PoptartShop

You and riding those darn bucks. LOL, get it girl! :lol: Like a champ.

I hope he starts feeling better, poor buddy.  I hope the Ace helps. He is hot by default, but we don't want him any hotter!

Glad he is responding better in the bridle though. That is awesome progress.  He is so handsome! <3


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## frlsgirl

Agreed. It takes a long time to make it look effortless. It's so much work; so many circles. Yet we keep getting on and doing it over and over again. We must all be crazy; repeating the same thing and expecting a different result. But that is actually how it works. Little bit by little bit, you progress.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Allison- Wonder is definitely still hot but he's relaxing more and his "intensity" is more manageable. 

but thank you. She's an athletic girl and very opinionated. 
_________

Tanja- Yes it does. Lots and lots of training and figuring out the horse's mind and explaining the concepts most clearly to them. Sometimes throwing them off balance, putting them through more difficult exercises. Mixing exercises up so they listen to the aid, rather than taking control of the ride which Antares likes to do. 
_________

Been pretty busy which has been great. Took Antares to the saddlebred show to get some schooling in. He was a good boy. We had a great time. I want to ride a park horse!!











Wonder has been good, he is 1 1/2cc-2ccs of ace everyday atm. He's still hot but not HOT but after a 1hr ride 2ccs of ace still passages around the barn in hand. It just takes the edge off. I describe him as like trying to ride a park horse with firecrackers thrown at his butt. He's so darn strong and powerful. His trot has gotten SUPER springy lately, I get jumped out of the saddle posting! Which is a pretty cool feeling. He's coming a long way. 

Layla is doing well. We're getting her through the attitude, she kicks out like that if you try to groom her belly too. So we're getting her through it because it is UNACCEPTABLE. She got a TON more lift in the canter and she actually did some piaffe steps yesterday. Her half steps have improved a TON and we did some working piroette canter to get her to have a more regular rhythm with more jump in her canter. She's half halting a lot better. Lowering her croup and coming up in her shoulder.

With the half steps I click to keep her active behind and basically ask her to come back in my core as far as she will go, then I close my fingers, soften them, close my fingers and soften them, then we she start to lose activity send her forward and keep activity. In the canter I get more jump in the canter by sitting more to the back of the saddle, sitting the croup down and when my hip slides forward drawing the back up into my pelvis. When I half halt, it's a strong half halt in my core with closing both reins, then I add leg and soften. I also do turn on the forehand feeling to develop piroette canter and really think of creating that jump behind and lift in the shoulders. 

When she brings that inside hind up, I half halt the outside rein and bring her back up. When I feel her lower behind I soften. Eventually it will look effortless. It is more important she accepts the outside rein and bends around the inside leg. Counter canter helps a ton with straightness, it improves rhythm and jump in the canter but with Dante I learned you start counter canter you better introduce the flying change alongside it or you'll never get a change. Straightness in the shoulder must occur after they learn how to soften to the inside rein. Counter flexion to bring the shoulder around, then bring them around the inside leg and jump them into the outside rein and half halt. Counter flexion leg yield them in so they know to guide their shoulder around a turn, then use inside leg and position to the inside and move their rib cage around to the inside, leg yield out.










Also got to ride Sam and school some in a double bridle for practice, it was great! I hadn't ridden in a double in a while but was pleased it came back pretty fast and got a feel for using both reins and how they influence. I have thought about getting a double for Wonder and trying it to see if we can get him to back off the bit. The double is a tool, not a mask but I'd like to school him in a double a few times. I think it might help. He is FINALLY half halting off of my core most of the time, so we lengthened and he LOVED that. He thought it was the coolest thing ever. He has a MASSIVE stride which is to be expected with his long legs but it was AMAZING. I sat trot some yesterday to calm him down and half halt.


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## whisperbaby22

Now I forget, is Antares a PRE? He sure doesn't look like the horses around here.

Again, you ride so well. I can't DO it, but I do see what you are doing, and I've never seen anyone with a better seat.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you Whisperbaby22, I've ridden a lot of bareback. I grew up galloping through fields in a halter on the west coast up in the mountains and the beach. I think people miss developing a seat from that. Then eventing for a few years, it teaches you how to stick on through whatever and think fast. Training and developing horses is a lot of work. My whole body was SO SO sore yesterday and today.

Yes Antares is a PRE, Andalusian. He's VERY VERY smart and clever, definitely a thinking horse and needs his brain stimulated and a challenge. I really-really like him, he's a fun horse to work with!
___________

Wonder is off left front. Vet is looking at him tomorrow. I'm on the verge of tears. Wonder doesn't have a CLUE he's hurt, he's like well I have 3 good legs let's go! I tried to get a video to show my trainer what was going on and ask her opinion about the vet. Then I tried to hand walk him and he lifted me up off the ground to passage trot. I love him but I wish he knew what a chill pill was. IF he's going to be on stall rest, I need something safe but more powerful than ace because there is NO way this horse is going to stay safe on stall rest. He could literally work 2hrs a day 7 days a week sometimes twice a day and on the 8th day I guarentee he'd come out as fresh as day 1. He NEEDS constant activity and brain work. He's a thinking type too. He's CRAZY powerful. I've never had a horse literally grab the bit and pull me out of the saddle or literally turn me into a flag behind him or lift me up off the ground so effortlessly as this horse. I was a stallion handler, I'm known for being a good handler and for my ground work. He's also drug a 6'1 strong built male across the barn when I was in Denmark from not having enough work and that was him on turnout! I'm very worried about the possibility of stall rest. This is a VERY intense professional's horse. He's VERY VERY hot and VERY VERY strong and VERY VERY smart. But he's absolutely my favorite horse in the entire world. He completes me and balances me whenever I'm upset. I love him so freaking much. As far as horses go he's my soul mate. I just need him to be okay.

He also KNOWS how to behave on a lunge line. He's usually really good, say trot he trots, or walk he walks but not today and my emotion was off because I was trying not to cry. This is him just being Wonder-y because he's not in an intense work program and doesn't get to canter which is his favorite gait. Just an intense horse, he's like see Ma I've got 3 good legs it's okay. But goal was to show Mari how he is off. Hind end looks great after doing his stifles but grrr Wonder head bobbing and he's like see I'm fine. I wish I could afford a fancy rehab center with a place for him to swim. I heard he loves that.


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## Tazzie

Ugh, Wonder! I hope it's something simple :sad: keep us posted about him. I'm glad his hind end is going well, now just to hope the front will be ok!


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## frlsgirl

Oh no. Not another problem with Wonder! Horses are so fragile. Sometimes I drive by the barn just to make sure that Ana is still alive, that she's breathing, not colicking and not lame on any legs. 

That arena at the other barn is really small. I bet it makes the horses feel like they can't really throw themselves forward; which is kind of good because they have to learn to keep themselves more packaged together. 

You are really good at explaining what you're doing with your body at the canter. At this point I'm just trying to canter on the correct lead, with no back pain in a semi controlled manner, while I work on getting her to give to the bit without breaking into a trot. That will be the death of me. It's usually like: hollow, hollow, kind of softening, kind of softening, soft, hollow, hollow, kind of soft, ooops she's trying to break into a trot, more leg, crap now she's hollow again, and so on. 

You have a really good and strong position without stiffening; my spine stabilizers aren't that strong yet; I start out strong and then I get tired toward the end of the ride. I can't imagine riding multiple young horses that require a lot of help from the rider. I wouldn't be able to walk upright anymore.


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## Tihannah

First, I just want to say how good Wonder looks. He's really starting to fill out and build all those dressage muscles. It's crazy how much energy he has! It's amazing how you ride him through all of that. And not just him, but the other horses too! I think I would be exhausted after riding him! lol. 

I think he is very lucky that you found him. He is a unique horse that requires a unique rider!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Katie- He had an abscess, thank God it's something simple!
___________

Tanja- That they are. With horses there is always something.

It is tough to use the arena space. Too small to really focus on lengthenings or space to work on some lateral stuff.

Thank you kindly. I think a lot of it starts in your mind of what it is you expect and want to create. It sometimes surprises me but a lot of people can't create gaits. Even in Denmark. It was very interesting. Some people could create brilliant expression but very incorrect or correct with no expression or fun to it. It's a challenge to blend the textbook technique and art of the sport. It's about feel, timing and mentally interpreting the horse. I don't know why but it seems my gift is being able to read a horse very well and listen to what they're telling me about how they want to be ridden. I can get on a strange horse with a lot of quirks and figure them out very quickly. I don't know why. Horses that are very right brained and insecure, mistrustful of a rider with psychological issues will trust me and let me ride them. I don't know why. It's one of those things you can't explain.
___________

Tina- Thank you. I'm really proud of Wonder. I just love him, even though he's a workaholic. I gave him 2ccs of ace to handwalk him with the abscess and he spooked and tried to take off several times in hand. He's the sort of horse that could work 2hrs a day 7 days a week and come out on the 8th day be just as hot, strong and forward as day 1.

In fact in the above video is after Wonder had worked 12 days in a row. He doesn't wear out. He's like YES YES YES let's work! Let's play! I'm so excited! Teach me something new!!
___________

Not much of an update

Been riding a lot. Rode some pretty quirky horses, ones that you couldn't touch the sides of (former saddleseat) or really weird mouth issues or super sensitive in the bridle. Then rode a mare who hadn't been ridden in two years who is pretty quirky but got her going and she was happy. Also rode a halflinger who was a BLAST. He's so springy and forward thinking, so smart and fun. Rode him bareback.

Layla is coming a long well, finally have a new saddle for her, so hopefully she'll be much happier. She was quite muscularly fatigued today. 

Wonder had an abscess, so taking care of that and hand walking with lots of kisses and cuddles. He's so cute. Total love bug, kept reaching to my head to kiss me while we were walking. It was cute. Licked the side of my face and would lay his head in my arms. He's so sweet.

Antares has much of the week off to relax. I rode him bareback and tried to keep it light but Antares found that boring, so I really-really collected the canter a few times and squared a 12m circle and he loved that. Then returned to long and low and changes of direction and keep it light with minimal pressure. Antares found that boring. He's a smart, thinking horse like Wonder. Likes the challenge.

The other thing with riding I do, is I'm very strong in my body. I am not as strong in my hand as I may appear. I tend to keep my body and core strong and influence the horse off of my position, so they match me and raise their energy to match me or lower it to match me. My hand stays where it is, if the horse wants to pull or get strong, I'm right there and they can soften. Sometimes you do have to move the bit left-right a little to get them to soften and back off the bit but it is not a see saw, it's a softening aid to help bring the horse's back up, lower the croup, lift the shoulder and lighten them in the bridle. There is sitting more to the back of the saddle and bringing the horse's up through their back. Managing their tempo and rhythm to keep them in balance and using their back. Too fast you lose swing, too slow you lose connection. Then you can create expression once you really feel their back and have control of your core and tempo. Whip is not for a forward motion, as much as it is for collection and to create expression. It's not a smacking but a reminding them to come back on the hind end and engage.


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## Tihannah

All of these things never made much sense to me until I got Forrest. With Tess, I could never get her forward enough to work on any sort of rhythm, core, or seat. But with Forrest, it kinda forced me to learn and really opened my eyes to how much work it is and how effective using your seat and body is! With Forrest, if you just sit there, he's going to take over the ride.

I know it's a little different with every horse so I think it's amazing that you get to work with such a large variety!


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## frlsgirl

At least you know that his lameness is just an abscess. That is good news, right?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tina- Certainly. Riding a bunch of different horses really opens our eyes to how different parts of riding influence the horse and how important they are when developing a horse. 

But thank you. I love working with a huge variety and getting on something with previous training issues and having to work through a lot of the mental blocks or fear, to where they trust and our confident and will let me influence them. I get along with a pretty large variety and can earn their trust which is a skill I take pride in. I LOVE being able to get on a horse who is mistrustful, nervous and scared of a rider to trust and let me ride them. It makes me happy to know they have trust and confidence in me they develop confidence in themselves and happiness in their work. It brings me joy.
________

Tanja- It is. I'm glad it's something simple and not what I expected.
________

Layla hopefully got a new saddle, I'm looking forward to riding her in it but will be teaching her owner in it on Sunday. 

Antares had a light week this week. He wanted more work, so collected his canter as much as he was able and let him rest. So short periods of intense mental work and then lots of long and low and he was much happier. He likes to work

Started riding a morgan mare whose been off for two years. She's very opinionated lol. She decided she didn't want to go forward and proceeded to back up and I said cool I like backing up so we backed up longer than she wanted and I made her really use her back and hind end. Then she didn't want to go forward so we did a reining horse type of spin and then I asked again if she'd go forward and she was like yes m'am that's easier than the evasion stuff. I just figure if you can put that much energy into doing the wrong thing, you can put that much energy into doing the right thing.

Also rode a horse who I guess had a carriage accident once and was a saddle seat horse, so he's very nervous and mistrustful of the bridle. They've done a lot of work to help him but it's sad when you come across something with baggage like that. But it was a fun riding him, once he trusted me he had an incredible work ethic and mind. He seemed to be telling me I'll try my heart out for you as long as you're fair and nice. I built his confidence and trust in me and eventually gained access to his back which was great fun. He's HUGE for a morgan about 16.1h

Also rode a halflinger whose very forward and powerful, great fun. And another saddleseat morgan whose retired from saddleseat so much fun.

I have a lesson on a PSG schoolmaster today. I'm SO excited! 

Wonder doesn't believe anything is wrong. I've had to ace him when we hand walk and even on 2 ccs he spooks and tries to take off. Wonder isn't a spooky horse but he is a high energy horse and HATES the idea of hand walking. He wants to gallop and work.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I've been pretty stressed and not wanting to be on a whole lot because my mind is SO busy. Always just busy-busy-busy. Anxiety isn't fun to deal with.

Lessons on the PSG schoolmaster were fantastic. He's a good schoolmaster because he's so honest. You have to earn everything. Our half passes were good, my 4 count tempis were good but I miss heard my trainer. She wanted 3 count tempis, not 4 count. Pirouettes were good but I need to sit more on my right seat bone and really get more control of my seat. My trainer was yelling at me what happened to you in Denmark your seat was never this busy in the canter. I rode an 18h youngster who became much more in front of the leg but had such a massive canter that he'd overwhelm himself. It took 3 months to get him to where he wouldn't drop out of the canter the moment I stopped sending him.

Taught a lesson on Sunday which was really fun. She has her bronze medal and entered a 2nd level test, so I was preparing her for it. I worked on helping her to let go more. I was explaining if you hold in a half halt, hold 3 seconds then soften. How to bring her mare more on the hind end, leg yielding off the outside leg to the inside rein than inside leg to outside rein. To help move her off the rib cage and connect to the outside rein. Walking through the difference between the half steps cue and the canter cue because Layla was unsure. Canter cue, preparatory two half halts on outside rein. outside leg back and inside leg on and allow with the seat. 

Wonder hates the stall rest. He pulled away from me yesterday on 2ccs of ace. I sort of get annoyed when I try to explain how hot and strong Wonder is and people just dont get it but to be fair I hadn't met a horse quite like him before, so how can I expect anyone to really understand what I mean when I say no he's really hot and strong :lol: so when you ride him lots of core and you have to be sure of where your body is and be quiet or he will take any excuse to blast off but you have to be so quick to be light. STRONG correction and light. An FEI/CDI groom who was a 6'1 strong built male was dragged by this horse like a feather and he's gotten loose from him. If he wants free no one can keep him, even in a stud chain. His trainer said of 20yrs of throughbreds Wonder is one of the hottest and most intense he's had. Wonder is his own horse with his own mind but he's my favorite horse I've ever worked with. He is so smart, so hard working and so strong. When I came back from Denmark, he literally took hold of the bit and pulled me out of the saddle. Like pulled me out. He doesn't do that anymore and he had gotten to where you could half halt him and get a correct response but he takes a TON of core. I have a friend I want to try him sometime when he's better and she's a very competent rider with experience but she saw me with him and saw him passaging when he got loose from me and she's like yeah I think some ace for when I try him would be good. I love him to death, he wouldn't be Wonder if he wasn't so intense. I lunged him a little today, his abscess is not totally healed but he needs to move or he get nutty and I feel bad for him. Lots of hand grazing and hand walking. Grooming, foot soaking in a mixture of hot water, epsom salt, iodine and hydrogen peroxide then we wrap.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I've been super stressed out, it's of my own creation because I'm SO neurotic and over think to such a great extent that it is flat out unhealthy. I'm just so scared of being hurt and disappointed. I've been treated so badly in the past that I fear every guy will be like that. The guy has been good and all, if I ask something he tells me. He initiated the conversation today and we had a good chat. But no matter what happens, I still feel so insecure and doubt so much. I know I'd be this way with anyone because the problem is me because I have trust issues and stuff deep inside of me that I need to overcome. It's hard. But it's therapeutic to voice it. I don't know that their is a direct solution but just acknowledge the feelings and learn to cope because the issues is within me. I'm supposed to tell myself I'm a beautiful, smart, able woman and everything will be okay but I don't know that's not really my personality. I just wish I could feel secure in someone else. And that ability to feel secure has been taken from me. I just can't because I'm so protective. I don't know how to break through that because I can't even describe how badly I've been treated and the emotional scarring that has been done to me. My heart and trust was broken quite badly. I've dated/been in a relationship with two psychopaths and they played so many games with my head that now I doubt myself more than anything. I can't trust my gut at all because it's riddled by crazy insecurity and it's been wrong more often than it has been right. It can be right about character but on this stuff and decisions, definitely not.

Wonder is doing better. He's figuring out how to Spanish walk. He's getting better everyday. Today I think he was pretty sore. I had lunged him on the grass and so he went up and down hills. 

Wonder starting to figure out spanish walk. This is day 2, he was pretty sore today so I tried not to expect too much and mentally it is taxing. It's not a perfect Spanish walk, this is day 2 of working on this and I don't drill him on it for too long but I do need to get him sugar cubes and reward him more for how hard he works and tries. He's getting more reach and height and eventually I'll ask for more control but for now it's the concept of the spanish walk. It helps so much with front leg control and awareness and eventually will help with developing a better quality passage. Plus it's a good way to keep his brain stimulated. We also worked on in hand piaffe today. He got some concept of it and found a good way to get him to not climb on top of me which is hard because he's so strong and so fast. And I've worked a ton with him about not climbing on top of me (natural horsemanship type stuff) based Warrick Schiller type methods but his reaction to confusion is to bolt, rather than process the problem which is to be expected after years at the race track.






Wonder on the hill, he's still missing a shoe and I'm not sure if the abscess is totally healed or not but he HAS to work or he loses his mind and acts up like biting, bolting in hand, etc. Doing some natural horsemanship type stuff with him as well to help settle his brain.






Wonder playing outside. Note this video was after he had lunged and worked on Spanish walk. He's just a hot-hot-hot horse. He could be worked several times a few times a day and I think he'd be just as fresh each time you bring him out. He looks like a saddlebred to me in this video. 





Some selfies with Wonder from yesterday. I'm German-Russian (Actual ethinic group, Germans from Russia) and Danish.


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## whisperbaby22

Yes it is good to acknowledge, and some people never figure themselves out. You are ahead on that score.


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- yes it is. Self knowledge and understanding is very important, especially in dynamics with others and relationships. Hard to create something pure without mindfulness. 

Wonder is sound!! I rode him today. He was surprisingly not hot today, he was forward but didn't ride hot which was interesting. He was a good boy but I suspect he's sore. He's much more through and straight and using himself a lot better. The PRP helped him a lot.

I'm feeling a lot more secure with things, I really needed to let things marinate and not get so emotional and irrational. I have anxiety quite badly, especially relationship anxiety which is of my own creation and slowly but surely I'm trying to heal.


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## whisperbaby22

He's probably glad he's not hurting any more.


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## Tazzie

I'm glad your anxiety has mellowed regarding the guy! I know how hard it can be.

And so glad Wonder is doing well! YAY for sound!!! That is so exciting!! I can't wait to see updated videos!


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## frlsgirl

Who needs a man when you got Wonder? 

He certainly has a lot of extra energy, could it be supplements?


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- I think so 
_________

Katie- Thank you. My anxiety is coming down, I know a lot of my issues stem from my earlier experiences.

I'm looking forward to getting some new video too. I'd like to see how he moves undersaddle now.
_________

Tanja- I like the man quite well. 

He's starting to come down, I don't know why he has so much energy. I think it is just his intensity and not knowing how to relax. 
_________

Mostly just exhausted but very ready to return to Denmark. Wonder has been great undersaddle, much more relaxed. I actually think I could put someone on him and not worry too much. He's been doing well! He's been very good out hacking. I'm proud of him!


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## JoBlueQuarter

Great pics! You and Wonder make a beautiful pair!


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## whisperbaby22

Yea, beautiful country. One of the things I like best about this forum is the photos people put up. When I get my camera problem figured out I'll go back to posting in the trail riding section.


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## frlsgirl

He's so handsome. I love the pic of you sitting on him; the expression on his face is priceless; he is such a diva!

So are you for sure going back to Denmark?


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## Kalraii

I, too, love the pictures and videos you put up. As for the guy situation I wanted to chip in my experience: I just don't care anymore. When I stopped caring about being single or not I met the man of my life. And y'know, this might sound terrible, but if it didn't work out I know I'm happy single as well. It really takes all the pressure off of "THIS HAS TO, MUST WORK OR IT'S THE END OF MY ENTIRE WORLD". It's not even a confidence thing in pretending to be someone I'm not. It's just confidence in that I know I not only can survive but be HAPPY alone. I MUCH prefer horses haha. Who cares if I have a kid or not? I'll be ash and the world will move on. My partner and I of several years spend more time apart in different countries than together. Whatever happens, happens. No point in struggling about the "what if's" and trying to mind read each other. No point in trying to live up to a self-set expectation. We are who we are. Live in the now and not in the imaginary. Don't like it, try fix it and if it's a no-go then friendship is an option. 

Now as for the other men in your life... well, Wonder gives you a run for your money by the looks. I've only read the first few and last pages of your journal otherwise I'd never end up going bed  Your thread could be converted into "1000 reasons to work on your core" haha. Your riding is an inspiration, honestly. Because I've probably missed this somewhere in your journal... what is it you do? You work with horses and train them? An instructor as well? You seem to be very well into the scene, so to speak. I am maybe just a little jealous 

Keep posting I hope!


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## DanteDressageNerd

JoBlueQuarter- Thank you! He's a wonderful buddy. I enjoy him a lot, he's a great horse!
___________

whisperbaby22- Thank you. I love seeing beautiful pictures as well. I like seeing horses and people happy together 
___________

Tanja- Aww thank you. He can be, he has opinions and a sense of justice. He rides a bit like a stallion in that way. 

Yes I am. I was accepted into Aarhus University and am applying for my student visa and residence permits. I'm very very excited. I'm going for Economics and Business Administration. Going back to school yet again lol.
___________

Kalraii- Thank you for the advice. This man is truly a good man. But a lot of my issues aren't necessarily from this has to work out or else or those sorts of thoughts. It's more me just having anxiety and having had abusive relationships in the past and seeing how things will work out. A lot of it is my own over thinking. I agree it's irrational but it's sort of how my brain works. I feel almost comfort in concern.

ATM I am an instructor and trainer, that is what I am paid to do but I'm going back to school in Denmark for Economics and Business Administration. I've also been a US Marine and worked on satellites and went to University originally for computer science and international studies. But I hate computer science, my brain just doesn't work that way. NOT my thing. 

But tank you I dabble in multiple disciplines and methods besides just dressage. A natural horsemanship trainer said I was the only dressage rider she's had able to ride a few of her horses. But I'll dabble in saddle seat, reining, I used to event and jump, do some trail class type stuff, natural horsemanship, etc. I've driven but never trained a driving horse. But I like driving. I've ridden a pretty large variety of different horses. I just enjoy the horses and the journey with them and think it's very important to do more than just one discipline and to dabble and learn methods and ways of doing things to make more sense to the horse. I find a lot of dressage trainers in my area can't ride anything that doesn't fit their narrow box, a lot of them like to control and dominate, rather than explain and communicate. They lack harmony and communication and I think it should be a conversation. But yes core strength is a must lol.
___________

Update

Wonder has been really good. He hasn't been crazy hot, he's been a lot more ridable. Antares and Layla are doing well. Layla is developing a single change, is a lot more collected and self carrying now that's she's getting stronger. She has such a long back and weak hind end that it is quite hard for her. I've had quite the time getting good canter to walks, halt and walk to canters are lovely but canter to walk it's very hard for her. Needs more collection and sit, lots of half steps. Also quite a bit to improve her shoulder in, travers, renvers and half pass to get her to be more true and through. Self carriage is getting much better. We did shoulder in to 10m circle to haunches in and reverse to get her more engaged behind and true. Her mom had a lesson and did really well. She's getting it and doing really well with her. It made me so happy to see her succeeding on her and seeing light bulb moments. Her mom has her bronze medal but I'm happy with how much she's growing. We do collected work then stretching and letting her relax and gather her back up to create more expression. She's getting a lot stronger. My goal isto make her self carrying through it all where you just position and it all happens but ways to go.

Antares is working on some of the same stuff, he's extremely smart. Much more self carrying, much straighter and stronger. And also much lighter off the aids and in the contact. His mind is calming down as well. He has a hot mind but not hot legs.

Wonder's laterals and throughness and bend are improving a lot more. He quickly wears out, so then we stretch to the buckle serpentines and figures of 8's then pick him back up, few half steps. He also is picking up spanish walk better and half pass, shoulder in, renvers, travers, etc. Note I do these movements not to simply school movements but to increase strength, flexibility, understanding of the aids and increase communication. I believe in introducing concepts earlier on and then improving and building upon them with strength and flexibility. He also has a single change both directions and sometimes we have walk to canters and canters to walk but we do not school that often or he anticipates too much in the walk. Half pass really helps improve Wonder's engagement, throughness and overall connection. He gets much lighter. He also leg yields from wall to wall both directions. It really helps him understand inside leg to outside rein, so I can get true bend in his rib cage and engagement from his hind end.


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## whisperbaby22

He looks fantastic.


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## frlsgirl

These pics are stunning. Glad Wonder is doing well.


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## Tazzie

Wonder looks so good! I'm so glad he's doing so much better and feeling great! And that he's not as hot! Yay!

Love all the pictures!


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- Thank you  I'm super proud of my boy!
____________

Tanja- Than you! The sky was incredible!
____________

Katie- Me too! He's MUCH more relaxed in his work, I feel totally confident putting other riders on him and trust him. He's been really super!

Thank you 
____________

Update

I've been in Oregon/Washington for the last week, was a very busy trip. On the go the whole time. I have tons of pictures but can't upload them all.

I'm SUPER DUPER busy. I'll respond to other posts when I have more time but super busy atm. I'm planning a trip out to Denmark end of this month to go house shopping during the school year. Then visa stuff, etc, etc. SUPER BUSY. The guy and I are doing really well, I'm so anxious to see him again!

Wonder from yesterday! It wasn't perfect, he was only worked twice the past week and mostly long and low which is fine but here is some video. He needs a lot more strength to be able to maintain that trot and have it more rhythmical and consistent. I pushed a bit too much but it will be there soon and better, it's better to build to it than avoid it. Rode 5 horses yesterday. Rode two bareback and it was great! At the end are the building blocks to half steps which he hasn't done in about a week. I'd like to get some video to show his laterals and spanish walk soon and better ones to show his single change.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I've been super busy. I have a TON of paperwork to get done, lots and lots lol. And been working a lot. 

Riding about 5 horses a day. A halflinger, a PRE, a tb, a wb, and a saddlebred. I'm taking some saddle seat lessons and learning a lot.

I rode this wonderful horse today, she's a 15.1h half arabian and half dutch harness horse. I love her. She's a lot of fun. I guess a lot of dressage trainers think she has a bad attitude, I think she's AMAZING!!






Wonder and I had a really good lesson today, he's been hacking, we did some jumps and he's gotten a lot braver with cavaletti and jumps. He actually has a nice jump. But the cavaletti and jumps are really helping him figure out how to use his back end. He was so good today in our lesson, right lead canter was uphill, rhythmical and in self carriage. He was great. Mari was really happy with us! Yay finally had a productive lesson with him and not needing to stop in the middle to address some issues.

Layla needed a lot of work this week to get her to unlock her jaw and give me her neck and rib cage, so she was light and in self carriage. When she unlocked and was just there it was brilliant but it took a bit to get there. She has a lot more sit and lift which is hard for her because she is weaker behind, long in the back and naturally built down but loads more expression now.

Antares is also really good. He's getting a lot more responsive, straighter, better with his laterals. More responsive, he has a good medium now and goes. Now to develop his canter and get more push to it. Less emphasis on the up and more on the forward and reach of it.

Rebel (saddlebred) is at the start of her saddleseat career, so I'm learning a ton about how to ride and develop a saddle seat horse. I have a TON of respect for saddle seat trainers that are good, it is HARD to do. But I'm learning a TON.

Albert been riding him bareback and getting him smoother and to be more ridable, comfortable for his owner. Also got to sit in on drives which was fun. Driving is really cool to me.


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## whisperbaby22

Yea, Jimmy is a lovely mover.


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## DanteDressageNerd

She is! I like her an awful lot.

Frankie still hasn't sold. I'm BEYOND furious. Lots of money down the tubes for no results. It makes me sick to my stomach because I don't have that kind of money to throw around. My parents are helping me pay for it, I couldn't do it without them. I was so mad during my lesson with Wonder, I had to stop for a minute to meditate and bring myself back to my mind because Wonder is SUPER sensitive to mental and emotional energy. It was making him anxious, I had to get in control of myself to ride him. He's not something someone could lose their temper on or get frustrated on or he'd lose it. He's such a good boy, if you just stay calm and fair to him he will work his heart out for you. I need to find a leasee for Wonder. I'm glad he's been so good, I've been able to put people on him and he's not been easy but he's been safe and ridable. 

Still a lot of work to get him where I want him to be before I go. I'll be in Denmark May 30-June 18, I'm very excited to go back. Then I'll be home until August then I'll move there permanently. So I need to start advertising Wonder for a lease soon and get another video with improved trot work and to show his laterals and what he knows, etc.


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## whisperbaby22

Sorry about Frankie. I have absolutely no experience with high dollar horses. In fact, the horses I see that people out here want are "bomb proof babysitter" horses because nobody wants to learn to ride. Seems like every other horse for sale fits this description, yet 3/4 of people looking can't find one. Go figure.


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## frlsgirl

Wonder looks great. I can’t imagine that you’ll have any trouble finding a good temporary home for him. 

I haven’t seen Frankie advertised on any of the big Facebook groups but I could have just missed her listing. 

Yay for going back to Denmark.


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- I'm not very experienced with the high end market either. I'm very frustrated. And I decided to switch trainers. This is hopeless. I already know she wont get Frankie sold and the cost of board is OUTRAGEOUS per month.
____________

Tanja- Thank you! My terms are an on site lease, I wont let him go elsewhere because I'm very concerned about him being emotionally and psychologically ruined. 

I've seen her on FB but it was posted once. I'm changing the situation because I need her to sell.

And thank you. I'm really excited!
____________

Update

I'm exhausted, as usual. Will be going back to Denmark soon! I'm SO SO excited, this is the FIRST time I've ever been to Europe for a non-horse trip. I get to be a proper lady and actually SEE things and visit places! See my guy too which is super exciting!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Been very busy the last week. Going back to Denmark soon. I'm SO SO SO excited! And so so so ready to go back!

Some Wonder. I am very frustrated atm. When Im the only one riding him, he's still tricky and hard to ride but he's soft and nice to ride. Then I put anyone else on, no matter what they've schooled or shown or accomplished and he's a pig. The only thing I've come down to is it's something in the mental energy of the rider and their projection of intent. It's something taught in natural horsemanship that isnt' taught in conventional riding. It's a peculiar thing and I don't know how to teach it to someone. It's a skillset they either have or they dont.

This is him after someone else rode him who IS a good rider and did nothing wrong but it was like he spent the whole ride recognizing her weaknesses, exploiting it and being testy. He wasn't naughty at all, just difficult. He's way too dam* smart. I'm riding him in spurs from now on. So I was trying to break through to him, he was testing the snot out of me. It's SO frustrating! He NEEDS to be ridden by someone other than Mari or myself.


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## whisperbaby22

He does look a little ****y!


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## frlsgirl

Hmmm maybe he’s just tired? He’s huffing and puffing like it’s really hard for him. You still have beautiful moments though. I’ve always liked how he’s able to lower his croup and really come over his back at the canter.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you Tanja and whisperbaby22. He is a very tricky ride. I talked to Mari (trainer) about him and she said what makes him so tricky is that he requires a rider that is extremely strong but at the same time very light and delicate and has excellent timing. There is no forgiveness int he timing with him. For example there are a few girls I know who did the whit program or have trained in Europe and ones that have a bronze and silver medal who can't ride him well at all. Like put those girls on a fancy, well bred horse and they look like super stars put them on Wonder and they just don't have the feel or the timing. And honestly put them on anything not fancy and they lose the movement and have no idea how to sit the croup down and develop collection. 

I am back from Denmark. It was a lovely, wonderful trip. Things are over with the guy, he basically called me fat and unattractive which is NOT at all acceptable and completely untrue. I'm over it, he's an *** hole. He's very average looking and the type of girl he finds attractive is very average as well. I was deeply insulted, especially because I've struggled with my perception of my weight. I'm better now but it was REALLY insulting. I have a 63cm waist, I have never been called fat or unattractive before.

I found a place to live and it is in the country. A 5min walk from horses and trails, so I am trying to bring Wonder over with me. Trying to find someone who can ride him well enough to lease just isnt' going to happen and after talking to my trainer, I know it's true. Wonder is NOT naughty but he is very hard to ride and requires a skill set of a rider that even most professionals do not have. Mari said the same thing. Mari does really well with him but most trainers, even FEI and international riders don't have that quality or skill that is necessary to ride him. So I'm trying to find a way to fly Wonder over with me.

Some pictures from Denmark


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## DanteDressageNerd

I love Denmark, it is truly where I belong. The culture aligns so well with mine and I am German-Russian, Danish and Dutch. I love the culture and the people, I honestly feel more at home there than I do in the US. I feel more at home there.


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## whisperbaby22

I am SHOCKED by what this jerk said to you. You are one of the prettiest young ladies I have ever seen.

But I am glad you are going to try to get Wonder over there. I do see a lot of "you should get your horse used to being ridden by anyone because you may die and then what " type comments, but really! Yes as a trail rider you and I are at opposite ends of the horse spectrum, but nowadays people seem less and less willing and able to ride well in any discipline. My discipline is full of people wanting bomb proof horses, buying said horse and all of a sudden ranting that the seller is dishonest. I just saw a video of a potential buyer getting bucked off. The horse showed a bit of irritation and the rider seemed a bit stiff and was riding in a hackamore. If the rider had pulled the horses head up after the first little jump she probably could have ridden it out. No timing there. Also, a hackamore is an advanced bit. If I am going to get on a new horse I want a snaffle or even just a side pull that I can really use. 

You just never see someone looking for a horse that may have potential to do something and working with the horse themselves.


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- everyone was SHOCKED but whatever I'm better off. But thank you. I was pretty insulted, as I think any woman would. He's a jerk and that's all there is to it. I'm over it and honestly I'm happier and more confident than I've been in a long time! I met another guy who I honestly like 10x better, I don't know if it will become anything but I'm playing it by ear. 

But I wholly agree with you. The art of horsemanship and understanding the horse has gone out the window and people don't want to bother receiving an education to understanding the animals they're working with. It's not fair to the horses. And they often blame them for being horses, so sad. Whether dressage or trail riding, I don't think people are all that different just the amount of money they throw at the sport. People often like to pretend their different but most of the time I find their qualities and way of viewing the world is the same. Self centered and without eyes or hears to experience the world around them.

But I agree. I'm looking for boarding stables where I might be able to take Wonder. He's such a unique horse. Completely independent mind, unlike any horse I've ever met. He doesn't want to do something he has literally dragged me nonchalantly at the walk because he doesn't want to walk over cavaletti. And he needs a job and mental stimulation ALL THE TIME or he gets painfully bored and then he is naughty. He loves me but he doesn't seem to like most other people, he likes Mari but he has a mind of his own. I think he was a human in a former life or something. Just an interesting, unique horse with a mind of his own.


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## whisperbaby22

Great. And fantastic photos, Denmark looks like such a cool cultural place.


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## frlsgirl

Welcome Back! What an assss! Glad that's over with; on to bigger and better things.

Wonder sounds a lot like Ana; she will let you ride her as a passenger but she doesn't allow just anybody to "ride" her; pretty much only me and BO; she reared with Silver medalist and Gold medalist. like "hail, not, you can't tell me what to do" She's a tough nut to crack and I'm just now, as in just a week ago figured out how to ride her correctly, how to ride her in her best balance, how to influence and shape her; it's like discovering the holy grail.

So when will you know for sure if you can take Wonder with you?


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## DanteDressageNerd

My computer wont let me like posts :-/ 

whisperbaby22- thank you, I love it! It's a great place!
________

Tanja- Thank you. And yes he is a HUGE MEGA ASSSSS HOLE. It was very insulting and he's not much to look at, just thinks he's something special. He's not an intelligent as I am, as accomplished or as attractive but it woke me up to see him for what he is, rather than being blind as a bat making excuses. But good riddance to bad rubbish. I'm glad I know how big of an @ss hole he is. 

Quite a few horses are like that. It's a skill set within the mind and feel, not strictly skill. Wonder takes a lot of strength but it has to be tactfully applied and immediately released. He takes so much strength to sit against him but then be so quick to release and be soft as elastic. And a lot to organize and get bend in his body, it takes a lot. Spurs have made a huge difference and I never need to touch him with the spur but have it to get the bend in his rib cage and connection to the outside rein. A lot of horses I think take a special touch and understanding.

I have to take him with me. I don't think I have a choice in that regard. My trainer said there is no way I'm going to find someone who can ride him. I had someone suggest someone but there is no way she could ride him well. I think she'd end up creating an inverted, upside down, tense, fight against her every step of the way horse
________

Layla and Albert were really good. Layla saw the chiropractor so she's a million times better. And Albert (halflinger) is super fun.

Wonder has been awesome. I want to get new video of him because he feels like a different horse. He's been really fun, he's hard and takes a lot but he's just developed so much more swing, push power and just wow. He's SO powerful, just wow. He's SUPER bouncy but fun! He has a good single change and his half pass is better. 

It's also been one year since I bought Wonder and June 24th is when he came to the barn


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## DanteDressageNerd

I still can't like posts. Not sure why.

Some riding video from yesterday. I REALLY want to get some fresh video of Wonder. He is SO SO cool, he feels amazing atm.

Layla from yesterday. Her mom had a great lesson on her. I'm SO SO proud of them but this is me riding. She is naturally downhill, so once I create freedom I have to sit against her and get her to sit on her hind end. Then let her go for freedom, and sit again which can be tense in the beginning. Left she really wants to drift through her outside shoulder so right now it's getting bend in the rib cage and straight in the shoulder. Takes time but I'm proud of her. She's great!





Wonder spanish walk. Keep in mind he's reacting off of voice and does better





Also a Wonder adventure hacking


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## DanteDressageNerd

Also some Wonder video from today

Long and low





And Wonder shows his single change both directions, etc. He is really bouncy :lol: sitting his trot makes me want to throw up lol. I'm really proud of him He came off of the race track one year ago and no he isnt fancy but he's my favorite horse in the entire world





After our ride we went out hacking trotting across the field, light gallop and Wonder was awesome. We went with a friend and she was amazed by Wonder's never ending enthusiasm and eagerness to work. He doesn't tire. He just goes!


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## Fimargue

And again he is lovely, and plenty of fancy in my opinion! Think just how amazing he will be when gets more loose, stronger (different kind of strong that he is now) and advanced. 

Mine used to be bouncy as well, but not anymore. Yesterday she got excited and started passaging and I was thinking that this must be the most peculiar feeling trot I have ever sat. It's just up up.


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## Dragoon

Hello
I am curious...when you go out hacking with Wonder, do you ride him like you do in the arena? For trot and canter I mean. 
I do not ride dressage and am fairly inexperienced compared to you...I have always wondered how a dressage rider rides when out on a 'relaxing ' ride vs. A training ride. Or do you always ride the same? The horse always looks so slowed down and in control (is collected the right term?) Is it hard to just let them go as they wish when on a hacking ride? 

Wonder is gorgeous, BTW! He is my dream horse and I just love seeing updates on him! I do hope you keep him forever!


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## PoptartShop

Glad to see you back.  

The guy is out there for you, just take it slow & try not to rush things. When you first start talking to someone, go with the flow. Nothing too fast.

Wonder looks like a happy boy!  Glad you got a nice hack too. I'm sure it was super relaxing.

I hope you can take him with you, crossing my fingers!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I would like posts but unfortunately I cant :-(

@Fimargue Thank you! I love him and I agree he'll get much much better with time, he already has a TON more swing and is much more relaxed but still a process. I think he'll get bouncier with more strength and swing. The more he engages his hind and back the bouncier he gets, though I'm glad your horse became smoother with strength. Dante became bouncier too, back not engaged smooth as silk. Engage his back get the swing and OMG I'm going to end up in the rafters lol. The feeling of being with them is the best feeling in the world 
_______________

@Dragoon Welcome! When I hack Wonder I don't ride him in a dressage frame. If we trot or canter I'll ride him in balance and over his back in two point and I still keep rhythm and that sort of thing but he's not in a dressage frame. When I walk sometimes I take my phone with me so I just leave him alone and let him do whatever he wants. It's about relaxation. It can be hard to just let them be but I find it relaxing, we just enjoy each others company. I think of the hacks as still training because we go up and down hills but we make it more creative and fun that way 

And thank you! He's a super boy! He's eating me out of house and home :lol: he eats almost a bale of hay a day, 3 large grain meals with beetpulp, high fat grain and amino acid supplement with 3 scoops of 99% fat. But thank you! I hope I get to keep him forever and ever too! I just love him!
_______________

@PoptartShop Thank you. It is nice to be back. 

And definitely. NO need to rush, get attached or that sort of thing. Just going with the flow, no pressure, no expectations, just seeing what happens  I learned something from the last one (Besides he's a drama Queen who is a little crazy). Still makes me laugh he called me fat :lol:

But thank you! I hope so too. Frankie has to sell FIRST but the hacks were super great!

_________

Wonder and I had a very light, long and low ride. He was stocked up and his pasterns were a little warm so I got him out did some long and low for about 10min, got off and iced his legs. I may just keep it light for a few days and ice after.

No hacking for a few days either due to rain storms. The ground is very soggy atm.

I'm absolutely and completely exhausted. I'll be in bed before 2100 or 9pm. I'm struggling to keep my eyes open. I have so much to do in the next 3 weeks before I move back to Denmark. I wish I could fly with Wonder, so we could keep each other company. The hardest part will be separation from my baby :-( but Mari will ride him. She does a wonderful job with him!


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## DanteDressageNerd

I had some great rides on Albert (halflingers), Grace (morgan), Layla (wb) and Wonder this week. 

I'm absolutely in love with my horse, we are a perfect team. I just love him. He is the most fun ride I've ever ridden. He takes EVERYTHING I have but he is a blast. So freaking hard to sit his trot ****. It has SO SO much spring, sometimes I ever struggle to post it. He's so much fun!

Wonder from today, he felt AMAZING. 











I'm ABSOLUTELY exhausted. I have SO SO Much to do.


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## Dragoon

Your horse looks wonderful, to my novice eye! 
But I have to ask, why the trot steps between leads? Is it because he does not swtich on cue yet? Is that a way to train them to stay in the lead you ask?
I ride a (GREEN) OTTB mare when I can get up the nerve (lol), and she seems to have a problem not staying in one lead. I free lunge her with my gelding for exercise, and she constantly flips back and forth on the longside of the arena. On the curves she stays in the correct lead but goes switching every two strides when travelling straight. She is the only one of the four I work with that does this and is also the only OTTB. Its pretty to watch but I wonder if she has some problem?? Or is this peculiar to OTTBs? She also has a small bucking problem...could they be related, as in discomfort somewhere? Just wondering if you've noticed the same thing...


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you! He's been super! He's coming around, this is MILES past where we were a few months ago. I was getting ran off with multiple times a ride, any pressure down the right rein or sometimes randomly he'd flip his head back. Etc. Comes a LONG way. TOUGH TOUGH horse to ride.

A lot of the times before asking for a single change we do a simple change, so they learn the cue as well as to have a clean change. In this case I used too much more trying to half halt his weight back and he broke into trot before picking up the other lead. It's more important that a change is clean. I watched some 3rd and 4th level tests and the changes weren't even as good as Wonder's who just started them. Just messy shuffled, not clean like Wonder's. 

It sounds like she may need to see a chiropractor or it's a saddle fit or SI problem. That sound pain or discomfort related, it could also be hind end weakness, lack of balance so she's shuffling for balance, hard to say. Unfortunately there can be one symptom and a million possible reasons for it lol. But I wish you luck!

Grain I'm planning to change Wonder to in DK. I think I'll provide my own grain because he's prone to ulcers and gets VERY hot.
Feeds - HAVENS Horsefeed USA

and this
Basis Sport Pellets - HAVENS Horsefeed USA
or this
Cool Mix - HAVENS Horsefeed USA

and this for evening meals
Slobber Mash - HAVENS Horsefeed USA

May have to look into a protein/amino acid supplement as well. But will have him send with a few bags of all the stuff he's currently on and purina outlast (that stuff works really well).


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## frlsgirl

So Wonder is for sure coming with you? Were you able to all those details worked out?

3 weeks, wow! So fast. Will you still be able to post from Denmark?

Your videos are lovely as always. He looks very good; I'm sure only a strong yet sympathetic rider such as yourslef can make him look this good.


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## DanteDressageNerd

I can like posts again! lol

Tanja- Yes. I have a company that is going to take him end of July to Texas for quarantine for 30 days then he'll fly to Frankfurt and be transported up to where I live 

I know! It's crazy! I'm starting to get a little scared! I think I'll still be able to post in Denmark after I get internet set up. 

Thank you kindly, I appreciate the compliment  he's a tough-tough horse to ride but that's part of why I love him. I like problem children :lol: but probably. He doesn't go well for anyone but my trainer and myself. He's a handful. Too smart for his own good and pretty opinionated but thank you for the kinds words, it means a lot 

Layla walk to canters, half pass, some collected stuff etc

Layla from yesterday





How I work through her grabbing the bit, etc





I'm also irritated because a client blamed me for a problem with her horse connecting to one rein and claimed he's finally developing back muscle and he has less than when I was riding him but whatever. Blame me but it doesn't make it true. I was also annoyed because people were singing praises of this girl whose pretty beginnerish and can sit, pose and look pretty but isn't very effective or useful as far as being a rider goes. But for some reason they think this girl is the next olympic star. I'm just like ehh whatever I'm leaving, just irritates me when people don't really know what they're talking about but proceed to dis you, undermine you and not listen.


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## whisperbaby22

Unfortunately, because of the money involved, this will be an ongoing problem.


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- Most likely, it made me realize sometimes you just can't make people happy and they wont give credit where credit is due and you have to just accept it.

Some pics of Layla. I'm proud of her. I wish I could have a Layla x Wonder baby :lol: I know that sounds crazy but it would be the PERFECT horse for me. If it was more uphill and had Wonder's power and sitability and Layla's suppleness and lateral reach and trot we'd have a pretty stellar horse. Plus the brain. It would be SUPER DUPER hot and SUPER DUPER smart and cause all kinds of trouble. It would be playful, sweet and mischievous lol.


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## frlsgirl

oh my gosh; Layla is adorable; look at that shoulder freedom and how she's starting to stay lifted in the chest. She's fancy and she knows it. Is she for sale?


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- lol her mom really loves her, I don't think she'll ever sell her. But thank you  I'm really proud of how far she's come. She's really putting on muscle behind and in her neck and she's really starting to get it. I'm so proud of her. Her half pass is quite good now too 

Here is where we started





Wonder is being turned out at night now, so hopefully he'll be back to black soon! He's already getting darker. We took passport photos for the jockey club, then I have to send him his papers which they say they're keeping. I don't want to not have his paper. To me that isn't right. 

Wonder and I had a pretty good lesson on Monday and yesterday we went on a trail ride. I'm absolutely EXHAUSTED. I don't even want to lift my head, I have no idea why I'm so tired but Im exhausted. I actually had a dream I was riding Wonder bareback through a sort of fantasy world where we were going through knee deep water and up trails and exploring this world, then Frankie was there with us and she had a hurt foot and I was trying to repair it and I think the water had magical properties for healing? I don't know but it was an interesting dream.


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## frlsgirl

Magical healing water....Hot Springs Arkansas has that. The water is from naturally formed springs and it's really high in beneficial minerals. I wonder if you can actually ride horses through the springs? I imagine it would be good for them. Some of the spring water is kind of hot though, it might spook them.

Wow, Layla has come a long way with your help. Good job!

So what will Wonder's journey be like during the quarantine and travel process?


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## DanteDressageNerd

I don't know? I've never heard of it? I know water training and work in the water is good for horses, I guess Wonder did rehab in a swimming pool and loves water?

But thank you! I'm REALLY proud of her. It still irritates me sometimes when "prettier" riders get more credit but in myself I know not one of those girl could get that change or quality of movement from Layla that I have. And I think it's proof of why a good sitting trot is not a "still" sitting trot, it's a sitting trot with a hip moving with the horse but not excessively bouncing or behind the motion, simply with. As well as the importance of mental riding. 

He is traveling to Texas at the end of July or early August where he'll be for 30 days before he will be put on a plane 10hr flight to Frankfort. Once in Frankfort, he will be hauled up to Denmark and placed in the stable of my choosing. I am still shopping to see if maybe someone can pick him up at the border. Hauling is EXPENSIVE!!

Truthfully I am SUPER busy and don't have much of an update, just overwhelmed. And Im EXHAUSTED. Physically I'm in a lot of pain from the heat (it's a bit cooler at the moment) but the heat makes inflammation worse and I have a lot of degenerative issues from being in the Marine Corps. Just exhausted, overwhelmed and ready for a break lol. But moving in about 2 weeks.

Wonder wearing ice boots, he HATES ice boots but helps bring inflammation down and prevent injury. I NEED stifle boots but they're so expensive and I'm not sure I'll have room to pack them with Wonder but he needs them!


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## whisperbaby22

He says, This is ridiculous!


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## frlsgirl

He's such a kid! Totally throwing a tantrum; reminds me so much of my dachshunds; maybe Wonder has a dachshund soul?


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- pretty much. He HATES ice boots but he sort of needs them or he gets sore. I think I need to buy him stifle boots now too :-( his stifles are getting sore again.
____________

Tanja- lol unfortunately no dachshund soul but pure opinionated thoroughbred lol. He is the only horse I know when he makes up his mind, he sticks to it and does it. He's very strongly willed. 
_____________

Update Wonder and I went galloping in the fields up and down the big hills yesterday. He was super. We trotted down the hill and his trot is like a catapult. It is SO springy. Good lord it's hard to post, let alone sit. He REFUSED to be ridden until we went out and played in the fields, I had promised him some field work so fair enough. We galloped and played in the fields then we did some arena work. We did 3 and 4 loops canter serpentines but I stopped in the left lead counter canter loop his stifle felt like it went out. So we did some long and low and I hopped off. Wonder NEVER drops out or slips out. So we're handwalking and icing atm. I JUST had PRP done in March? That was so expensive, I don't know if I can stomach if he needs more work done on his stifles. I flat out DONT have the money. And vet care is WAY more expensive in DK.

He is officially the springiest, most difficult horse I've ever had to sit or post on. I though Jelly was bad (horse has EPM, straight behind) and I thought Dante was bad, they have nothing on Wonder. He gets bouncier and springier the better he moves and the stronger he gets.

Very sunbleached. So freaking hard to keep weight on grrr...


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## frlsgirl

Eek stifle problems are dreadful. I’ve already had Ana’s injected once. Not planning on doing that again. Hoping the best for Wonder. Ana sometimes slips behind with one foot. Like once every ride but only at a walk. I think in her case it’s just tiredness/dragging feet a bit after a hard workout.


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## PoptartShop

Wonder is definitely a little kid. LOL!! So cute. He's like fine, OK mom...I'll listen. :lol:
You got your mom voice on!

Galloping the fields sounds amazing.  Ugh, it is hard to post on bouncy/springy horses. I am still trying to be able to post Promise's trot properly, right now I am all over the place because I'm still trying to figure out the rhythm. :lol:

He is so handsome!!


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- It may just be sluggishness and her not paying attention to the placement of her feet and then blaming you because she didn't pay attention to her feet. That sounds like Ana lol. But yes it is. Stifles are expensive to treat, I've injected his left and right stifle once and then did platelet rich plasma which worked much better and now I'm icing them after every ride to keep the inflammation down. When we had them x-rayed and ultrasound, there was no reason to say why he was having inflammation because there is nothing physical, so in theory ice shoulder prevent further damage.
__________

Allison- lol I am a former Marine, I have the formidable voice and can go full Marine sometimes but not with Wonder. He needs firm but clear and fair handling. But he is a giant child! He cracks me up, he just wants cuddles and love lol.

It is and yes it is. Wonder is like a catapult every stride, I've ridden a lot of bouncy horses but Wonder's is in it's own. Lots of core, back muscle and mental counting of 1-2, for rhythm helps a lot. Wonder likes to run past my half halt, so a lot of the times I keep him a hair slower than I actually would like him to be. It gets more swing in his back but less stride.

Thank you  
__________

Update

His stifles are fine, I gave him a full body massage. I think he was sore. It's not bad but I've been icing his stifles and he also broke one of his ice boots, so we took it home to sew and repair. He's definitely my child, that's all I can say. He also got a new quarter sheet for Denmark and we're packing up and organizing for our new life  I've gotten a TON of paperwork done in the last few days, so that's a lot of stress off my mind. 

I didn't ride as well as I should have yesterday, I think it's due to the extreme heat. The barn itself stays really cool but I'm out in 105F all day. 

Mandy is coming out to look at Wonder's saddle today and check out our new pad. Wonder seems to LOVE his new pad. It was on sale for an unbeatable price- like 80 or 100 dollars off, so I bought it

https://invictus-equestrian.com/performance/

Some video from yesterday. NOT our best ride. I don't sit a lot of trot on him because he's not really strong enough yet but it helps me so I can control his pace and get him going in the same direction. We were not going for fancy or expression, I was going for correct responses. My spurs are not touching him in the sitting trot, if they were he'd have bolted off. I need to be more down in my heel and not let my body get so ehh because I'm over heated. Wonder was basically in air conditioning all day. I also need a shorter rein and needed to move his body better but oh well. 

I still need to video some trot half pass on him sometimes. He gets it better half pass left than half pass right. I don't think he likes pushing off the left hind because he understands but doesn't like it. I was trying to keep him "slow" and with me, instead of big and forward. I need him to listen and gain strength controlling his gait, rather than big. 






I needed to shorten my reins in this. But bah not our best ride but whatever it's reality






I also need to take more lessons but have been do dam# busy and honestly can't really afford them atm. I'm trying to buy some of Wonder's stuff while here because certain things are cheaper but this is so expensive and I need my trainer to yell at me. I wish we had mirrors, video is the best thing atm to improve from.


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## frlsgirl

That’s what my chiropractor says about ice; whenever there’s inflammation use ice instead of heat. I’ve been doing that on my back and it’s really helped so I would assume the same is true for horses. 

But yes lol I’m sure Ana is secretively blaming me for her little slips. Lord knows what she tells the other horses about me


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## DanteDressageNerd

@frlsgirl Yes it does! Ice is great for swelling, heat is good for relaxation. On Wonder's back, I only put ice over his SI, then I ice his stifles and all 4 legs especially in this weather because he stocks up quite a bit. I do it because Wonder had such an extensive race career and I've spent so much on his stifles. I've also started giving him regular massages which is helping him a lot. I lunged him over cavaletti yesterday and it was the only way to get him to really access his whole back and use his whole self. He's unfortunately too uphill :-(

lol I'm sure she does. I spanked Wonder for pushing into the saddle fitter and he knows I spanked him but he kept pinning his ears and threatening to bite her the rest of the night. It was rather amusing. He also walked into me and stuck his whole head in my arms because it was hot out and he was miserable. He was like Mama hold me. It's been a rough day! It's so funny because then he'll turn and pin his ears and threaten to bite everyone else (getting after him is a bad idea). Not a horse you can smack around or he gets very fearful and reacts, rather than listens. He's more dangerous. He can be disciplined but it has to be tactful and correctly applied with good timing.

Also found out why my saddle was putting me in a chair seat, with the invictus pad it is balanced, stable and a good saddle however if I pull the pad too high in front it shifts the balance and puts me into a chair seat. Was good to hear that from my fitter. She's adjusting Wonder's saddle soon and then I'd like to try a double bridle on Wonder before going to Denmark, so I have an idea of what he'll need down the road and I also want to introduce him to one under a trainer I know and trust vs one I don't know and I'm not sure how they'll introduce it and I want him to have an idea before going over there because I guarantee they'd expect him to at least have double experience. From what I've seen they put horses in a double faster than we do. Anything that doesn't go how they want or is at all tricky, they usually just throw on draw reins. Which I wont do. I think draw reins have a placed if used appropriately but shouldn't be used as a crutch or every ride. I also don't like normal draw reins. I don't mind pulley set draw reins where theyre attached to the pommel of the saddle, rather than the riders hands so the horse can adjust them vs the rider. I just don't like traditional draw reins. It makes almost every horse I've seen in them really backwards, work badly in the contact, strong in the mouth and improper responses to the bit. I'd rather work through issues slowly and have some ugly rides than a lifelong problem with draws as a crutch.


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## frlsgirl

Yes but Europe has better tack shops and better training programs for pros; in Germany, it takes 3 years to complete most programs, even just to become a stable manager you have to go to school/training for 3 years. Here, anyone can buy an equestrian facility and call themselves a stable manager. I'm sure Denmark is similar to Germany in that way?


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## DanteDressageNerd

I think Europe has a better program and system set up to produce trainers but a lot of the riding and horsemanship I've seen at the high end places are designed to produce horses and riders like machines. Most of the rider's I've seen over there are very good at mechanically manipulating a horse or using brute strength to make things happen but I haven't seen many that can reach a horse's mind or ride something that isn't naturally gifted because they're so used to riding a certain quality of horse with a decent enough conformation that it doesn't make training excessively difficult. For example from what I've seen they would really struggle on something like Ana or Dante or Wonder but would do fine on Frankie. Though I will say most of the riders I've seen just hold really strong in front and make things happen, on a quality enough horse it's not a huge issue but put them on something like Ana or Wonder and they lose everything in the horse.

I also wish there was still video of Layla being ridden by the German bereiter to show the difference. Her movement was so tight, held together and she looked very meh. That's where her lip mouthing stuff came from, same rider produced several horses I know. Most have mouth issues and had to be re-trained. I'm British trained. But in general I think the average German rider is better than the average American rider. No system is perfect.










But mainland europe definitely has better tack shops and more exciting shows to visit, with the exception of Florida. And yes Denmark is similar to Germany in their rules.

Wonder was AMAZING yesterday, SO SO much better. He felt like a proper trained dressage horse for the first time. Really pushing off the hind end, he felt incredible! Long way to go but I'm so pleased with him! I know they'll expect him in a double,

I want the neue schule team up for the bradoon because Wonder likes that bit but for a weymouth I'd like to try. The other suggestion was a forward port weymouth https://nsbits.com/product/thoroughbred-weymouth/
https://thedressageconnection.com/product/ds-weymouth-42262/

I know he likes this bit 
https://thedressageconnection.com/product/neue-schule-team-bradoon/


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## frlsgirl

That makes sense. I think a lot of high level trainers would probably look at me and Ana and say “why even bother cleaning up this mess?!?” but it’s my beautiful messy journey to be on so it’s all good with me lol

I dream about getting accidentally locked in a European tack shop and nerding out for a night. 

Oh I love NS bits; it’s a great brand. Ana is rather picky about her bits as well and told the animal communicator that she didn’t like the KK (insert eye roll here) 

She’s currently happiest in her eggbud Korsteel double jointed bit. It wasn’t even that expensive and she likes it (shrug).


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I understand. They'd probably say the same about Wonder, why bother? But you know what it isn't their journey or place to say what is worth it or not. A lot of the elite german trainers would have said Valegro wasn't going to be anything special. And truthfully in any other training program he wouldn't have been that exceptional but Carl Hester and Charlotte Dujardin did an amazing job with him. They didn't rely on pure quality but good mechanics and development. One of my trainer's can see anything good in Wonder and the other sees the talent. The one that doesn't see the talent tends to pick horses based off of flash and how impressive a horse moves. She can't see mechanics, so she often chooses horses that won't make the upper levels at any point in their life but are incredible movers that will rock the young horse tests or low levels. The other focuses on mechanics and has produced multiple horses to PSG and has ridden to GP. The point is everyone has their own journey and if we always listened to the "experts" mankind wouldn't have advanced to where we are. No one believed in Einstein, they thought he was unremarkable and totally lacking talent but he proved himself. 

I know right? I'm going to have to find Wonder a double. 

I love NS bits too, they have thinner bits for smaller-sensitive mouths. Some horses HATE the thick bits but people always think it's best but it isn't. lol well I'm glad she likes what she has, that's great  sometimes what we think is best, isn't what they like best.

Been CRAZY busy. I'm absolutely exhausted and have no energy. 

I'm british trained and so I think some of what I do is contradictory to how germans are trained. I teach the horse to connect by connecting the hind end to the bit and by being able to isolate parts. Collection is built by actually developing the back to be rounder and carry more weight behind, rather than hold all the power together by the reins and have it between the leg and hand. British focus a lot more on core, seat, organization and the conversation between horse and rider vs pure mechanical make them do it. Throw on draw reins and and the double to cover up contact issues vs identify the problem in the back. Sometimes I've known german trained riders who can't ride a british trained horse because the germans ride leg to hand or by hand vs using their core or organizing the hind legs and body. Sometimes frustrating and annoying though because most people can't see what you're doing or working on and have no appreciation what so ever for it. They just want to see a still rider and a pretty picture, regardless of how well the horse is going. They can't see the loading of the hind end or the careful development of connecting the horse to the riders core or getting that degree of back engagement and sit on a horse that isnt really built to do it. For example Wonder is actually a lot more talented for the upper levels than Layla. Layla is built more like a hunter. Very long in the back, downhill, pelvis positioned behind but she can be developed for the PSG. I don't think she'd do the GP but PSG is realistic.


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## DanteDressageNerd

So on Thursday/Friday I was in Chicago for my residence permit and they took my passport. NOTHING in the paperwork or ANYTHING about needing a hard copy of my passport. They have every page in soft copy and copied pictures. I'm SO mad because I have delay my trip and it is costing me an extra 300 dollars for a new ticket. I'm SO mad. 

I'm super bloated in this video, I'm not that heavy. Kinda irritates me because I look so heavy in the video. A girl I know who is tiny like 100lbs also looks HUGE on my camera and I can't figure out why because then Wonder looks scrawny lol. I had been eating some foods on my "bucket list" which are not gluten free. 

Had a discussion with trainer about why Wonder is a GP prospect where as my other horse couldn't do the GP. Wonder can sit to a much higher degree. Moray said Wonder has better conformation and structured to stay sound even when he loaded the hind end to that degree. It takes a very special horse who can do the GP. It's not about flash, the big, flashy movers at the young horse tests up to PSG don't make it past that point. The really big, suspensiony, flashy movers don't stay sound or move a lot more poorly when pushed. Other horse is fancier but doesnt have the amount of sit. She's also too soft in her pasterns. 

Wonder Spanish walk work, he needs to keep height but slow down and hold it slower. Takes time but improving. 





Also some Wonder. It doesn't show how muscular he is which is a little annoying. But whatever pictures dont exactly capture reality.


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## knightrider

SUPER bummer about your passport. I am SO sorry. I hope things get better. Even though the camera doesn't do you and Wonder justice, you both still look great.


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## whisperbaby22

Funny how photos can make a horse look different. And anything involving paperwork or the government means you have to go back several times.


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## PoptartShop

Heavy? Where? LOL, you don't look heavy at all. You must be seeing things. :lol: 
You look skinny and healthy! Don't be so hard on yourself. 

That sucks about your passport. :sad: Ugh. Always something. They definitely should've told you about that. Now that's another expense. They are so strict with everything.

Wonder is such a handsome boy.  So shiny!


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## DanteDressageNerd

knightrider- I was SO livid and AFTER I made arrangements to change my flights, hotel, etc I get a text saying your passport will be there at 1000 tomorrow. LIVID. I was told if I didn't get an email Friday I wouldn't have it in time for my Tuesday flight. SO I leave Thursday of next week. I'm LIVID. It cost me an extra 300. But everything happens for a reason.

And thank you. I felt like I looked really chunky and in person I'm not. Maybe it's just my image issues because I was called fat most of my teenage hood.
________________

whisperbaby22- Without a doubt! As a Marine, I had to do a lot of paperwork! I hate bureaucracy, such a pain in the @ss!! Everything is more expensive, takes longer, and far less efficient and terrible customer service. 

It's funny how photos can distort reality, they're not a true replica.
________________

Allison- I thought I looked really heavy in the pictures. In person I'm much thinner. But I also have image issues because I was called fat for most of my teenagehood and @sshole calling me fat and unattractive was pretty hurtful. 

It really does. My psychiatrist is also no longer practicing, so I don't have one anymore and Wonder bolted off with me today. Scary bolt. He's one of a kind. Ridden TONS of ottbs and thoroughbreds, never met one as intense or hot or independent minded as Wonder. He's special.
________________

Well Wonder and I went on an adventure today. I warmed up lunging him over cavaletti for his stifles and he did great! We did trot, took away the center poll than a canter bounce and he was perfect. Leapt in the air and changed leads twice, hysterical to watch. Then tacked him up and went on a field ride. He was great, on the buckle. We did some trot sets, he was good and then all of a sudden he flat out took the bit and bolted back to the barn. I had no brakes or steering as we galed up and down hills, went over fences and he'd randomly leap over the grass. My body went into instinctual eventer mode. It was pretty scary. After that we went back to the field and walked around the field quietly and when he tried to take off I was like well I guess we'll take that energy and turn it into half steps. Then we went into the outdoor arena and worked on basic dressage. Walk, trot, and canter. The cavaletti and poll work have helped his soundness a lot!!


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## knightrider

Oh man, the one thing I hate the most is getting run off with. I hate hate hate it. I think it is because when I was a kid, I got run off with (who hasn't, when you're a kid), but my horse stepped in a hole and flipped and I got a concussion (no helmets in those days). When a horse I'm riding starts tearing off, I can feel the panic welling up. I have to remind myself that in time the horse will start listening and to sit tight . . . it will be all right. I really feel for you. I would have been a wreck.


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## PoptartShop

Sheesh, that does sound scary. You never know with these OTTB's, they all have their moments. :lol: My old lease horse Redz used to do that a LOT...bolt, couldn't steer or stop him for the life of me. 
I am glad you are okay though, & didn't fall!! Love the pictures.


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## DanteDressageNerd

knightrider- I do as well, though I feel much safer on a horse that bolts than a horse that is mean. But that is really scary! I'm glad you weren't hurt in that incident! That's scary! I can understanding why you'd have a stress reaction to it!
__________

Allison- I don't know. Most of the ottbs I've worked with aren't really a problem, if they're young they have normal young horse moments but I wouldn't say they're ottb moments. I find most ottbs aren't restarted very well :-( it's pretty sad, so their mind is never re-trained. But some always have that instinct, as they love to run!

But thank you! I am glad to be alright as well. I think my eventer "stick" it and instincts kicked in.
__________

Wonder is doing well. Lunged him yesterday over some polls then iced his stifles and all four legs and his SI. Day before that he was in a mood, reared up in the cross ties, nearly double barrel kicked me because I had him do some back exercises. I don't know if his muscles are just tight or if he needs his SI injected again? He was fine to ride but we mostly did walk and trot. He was anxious. Lots of anticipation from the cooler weather, so lots of work to "calm" him. Though maybe it is my own stress he senses? IDK. He probably knows something is changing but he's been super cuddly and sweet. Hears my car and pops his head out, follows me and sets his head in my arms to be held and babied. He's so sweet. Also gave him a massage. 

Layla was really anxious as well, I think a lot of her behavior stems from her background. She was started by a German rider who basically held her together and pressured her to perform. She's mentally a bit blocked. If she were my horse I'd love to do some NH with her and get her to read her person, rather than avoid mental engagement but we mostly did walk and trot this week, I think she needs to see the chiropractor again too. She feel really blocked somewhere. Mentally she feels like she's fighting me, she doesn't want to just follow my body or listen. She over anticipates and guesses what I want and tries too hard. So a lot of what I've been doing is just going back to walk or halt on contact and just sit there quiet and neutral to help her switch back. Or I do random serpentines of her following my body, so she listens rather than takes over. If I ride her 2 days in a row the behavior stops but haven't gotten 2 days in a row in in a while.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Wonder was pretty full of it tonight. I don't have the core strength atm, he takes SO SO much core strength to ride. He kept trying to pull me out of the saddle so he could bolt. My lower back is really sore, his canter has gotten so strong from behind it hurts my back to resist being thrown out of the saddle. 

He LOVES having hind bell boots on, he moves TOTALLY differently and really engaged his hind end. It's crazy how much his movement has changed. He strongly anticipates, I don't know why I decided to do canter to walk and walk to canters today. I haven't schooled him on them before but he seems familiar with it. I thought the canter to walk would help a lot with getting him to come back and respond to the half halt. I think with how strong he is, is because he isn't as strong as he needs to be over his back and in the hind end to carry and maintain it in self carriage. It's so hard to resist getting swept away with his power. He is SO SO strong and when I say that I don't mean in the bridle, I mean in his whole body especially his hind end. I almost threw up after riding him, it took that much core strength to try to hold him back from taking off. And trying to plant my elbows into my body, so he can't pull me out of the saddle. I also suspect the front panel may be a bit tight on Wonder's withers and needs to be readjusted. His back has changed shape so much and he's hard to fit because his back shape changes so much when he's over his back vs stood in a wash stall. He gets a lot wider when round. I think fitters underestimate how much he comes through his back when he's in work vs stood in his stall or cross ties. I also think people underestimate how powerful he is. OMG is he ever bouncy and hard to stay with and keep from taking over. He's not really strong in the bridle but his whole body. It's like he's finally unlocked his stride and figured out how to engage his hind end and really come over his back and has taken off with how much power and ability he has. I'm just in shock at how strong his hind end is, he was strong but he's gotten SO much stronger. It's unreal. He is WAY WAY more powerful than any warmblood I have ever ridden. It is shocking, I can't believe how big of a change I feel this ride from last ride. 

Struggling to the left and I'm trying to figure out what is going on in my body that this is suddenly a problem. Is it a crookedness in me? Is he having pain somewhere? What is going on? I think I need to see the chirorpractor. I'm feeling a lot of pain in my hip ball and socket joints lately. Just hurts. My lower back is so sore after riding him. It took a LOT of back and core to try to resist getting ran off with.Plus he pulled on me some.

Mostly I'm simply exhausted. I don't feel well. I'm under a lot of stress and just tired. I'm super sore and my lower back hurts from today. Wonder took EVERYTHING I had to ride. There were some brilliant moments, ugly moments and quite a bit of being ran away with. He's SO intense and it isnt anxiety or nervousness or fear, it's just a I want to go-let me go- just let me go. I'll go and he LOVES to work. It's like working with a border collie, he's so eager to work. He LOVES to gallop and LOVES an adrenaline rush. Plus the weather is cooler and when it is cooler, he is HOT HOT HOT. He's really tough to ride, I love him more than any horse in the world but he is REALLY tough to ride. And definitely a one person only type of horse. He's just intense and I'm astounded by how much power he has. Just amazed. I didn't know he'd get that much stronger. It's insane. I need to get video.

He's also taken to dramatic sighs and I wondered where he learned it from then I realized I make that same sound every time I bend over because it causes me so much discomfort and I struggle to breathe :lol: degenerative disks and SI pain.


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## frlsgirl

I always wondered why some people put bell boots on the hinds, makes sense. Might try that with Ana.

I hope you can find a good chiro; it's a good idea for serious riders/trainers such as yourself to go in for regular adjustments and check ups; we are so focused on our horses that we sometimes forget to take care of ourselves to the point that it affects our riding. I'm so guilty of this.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Tanja- I did too but tried it and Wonder became much more confident with his hind end.

Me too! It helps so much! Riders have to take care of themselves too!
________

Rough weekend. Announced moving Frankie from trainer. Trainer very unprofessional, attempted to bully and belittle me. Basically kicked Wonder and I out, accused me of behavior I didnt do. I didnt respond to anything, Im used to psychopathic types and their lack of maturity and inability to rationalize or see the world in a mature or reasonable way. I refuse to feed into their drama. They want you to play that game with them. So sad. But moved Wonder yesterday. He also broke my wrist, had one cross tie on. He lurched forward, reared up, hit the tie backed up. My left elbow at the wall, Wonders hind backed up into my hand. Wrist broke. so ER and my mom is helping me to move to DK


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## whisperbaby22

Wow, sorry about all this.


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## knightrider

Oh no, what a rotten turn of events. So so sorry, and hope things improve. How long will you have a cast?


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## frlsgirl

Oh my goodness! I’m sorry all of this is happening. Take care of yourself.


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## DanteDressageNerd

Thank you everyone. My left arm is in a full cast so hard to type atm.

But thank you for the support  it wasnt a good day. Wonder was stressed and I was stressed and he reads so closely off of me that I probably shouldn't have been handling him then or I should have at least aced him. 

It was pretty sad, person in question was very child-like and immature, so I didnt respond. My only concern is removing Frankie from her. I just want her safe and in good hands. Wonder is away so I know he is okay and in good hands, just scary. I feel like a mom wanting to protect her kids.

Sometimes people ask me about psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists because I have a lot of experience with them. The first thing people need to realize is they seem like everyone else. They can seem very nice, even sincere and charming. Ive defended psychopaths claiming they were good people, despite warnings. They tend to lure people in by showing the charming side but slowly the controlling, manipulative and immature aspects come threw. They are not able to rationalize or reason like normal adults and will often have child like tantrums when they dont get their way. They are VERY controlling and usually subtly manipulative to where you barely notice and worse yet blame yourself for reacting to their poor behavior. They like to suck in people who are highly empathetic, kind and understanding because sustainable manipulation is easier. Basically good people will make excuses for their behavior and try to rationalize it. They're often obsessed about controlling their image and people around them. Most of the time their own families and close friends aren't aware of what they are. Most blend in very well. They tend to blame everyone else when things don't go their way. They are unable to take responsibility, empathize or put themselves in another person's shoes. It is all about them and their goals. If they're nice, it is because they have something to gain from it but it's a game. Do not play into their games, they will do their best to degrade, insult and try to make you look like the bad guy and themself a victim. They see people as a means to an end. The best way to deal with them is to create distance and get away. Dont play into their games, they love drama. Dont feed them that energy. You cannot reason with a psychopath because in their mind they can do no wrong and everyone else is the problem. They are all about their self image and fear anything that makes them look bad.


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## whisperbaby22

Well said.


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## Dragoon

Why the heck do you even have the stress of a second horse right now? That horse was put up for sale MONTHS ago. Was she ever advertised? Sell her off and be done with it. 
What the heck were they doing with her all this time? Getting a young warm blood to ride and have fun on while you pay all the bills? No wonder someone's angry. Such a bad person you are, ruining all their fun...

Hope you heal quickly! Glad you have family that can help you through this stressful time! Good luck.


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## knightrider

A very helpful book I read about sociopaths is _People of the Lie: the Hope for Healing Human Evil_ by M. Scott Peck. It says exactly what Dauntless says, but of course, in many chapters. It is a fascinating book if you like to read about that sort of thing. Rather scary, because, as Dauntless says, sociopaths come across as really terrific people and many folks think they are terrific . . . makes you wonder if it is you. But it is not you, they are "people of the lie."

Does the broken wrist spoil your Denmark plans? Hope you are healing without too much pain. (((Hugs))) best wishes.


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- thank you. I hope my lessons can prevent someone else from needing them. lots of pain there.
____________

dragoon- I 100% agree. That is why she had a hissy fit and I removed the horse from the situation. 5 1/2 months and no real effort to sell, I was lied to and should have pulled the horse months ago. Plus making her sore and struggling to have a horse who NEVER had a problem staying sound, sound. Then claimed I gave her a horse with problems without being up front. No she needed meso once with me and NEVER had issues other than that while on magnesium. But Im pretty sure shes a narcissist, so blames others for her short comings and no accountability or empathy. But exactly she responded exactly like a 3yr old child who had their toy taken away. Its a shame, I pray for her. I hope she can find peace and be the person I thought she was and looked up to and admired once. But have to keep a distance. Toxic person.

But she's in way better hands now. Pretty much everyone has said she went better for me than with them and that ANGERS me. Im not special yet she went poorly with them. so downhill, lost swing and shoulder. just looked tight and held together in a compressed outline.
____________

knightrider- I may need to read that one day. I'm SO SO sick of dealing with narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths. I've had so many in my life and they make me sick. Never waste your breath on them, they cant hear reason anyway. theyre all about themselves and dont care what lies they have to tell themselves or others to preserve their ego and perception of control. 

No my mom is coming with me to Denmark and helping me. I feel terrible about how much she's having to help me but Im so grateful for her generosity. *hugs back*


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## DanteDressageNerd

Wonder is on his way to Texas, the shipping company works mostly with arabians and a lot of thoroughbreds, so she's good with hot horses. I am SO SO thankful! He's definitely the type of horse that needs to be understood. He's not wired like a warmblood or a qh. He is a Wonder horse and he's a good boy, just needs to be understood or he panics.

Wonder has been SUPER at the morgan and saddlebred barn, he was SO SO much happier there. And everyone loved him, especially Casey (6'5 guy who worked with Wonder on natural horsemanship) really good guy. Has saddlebreds. Absolutely loved Wonder and vice versa. Wonder usually doesn't like men but he loved Casey. MUCH MUCH calmer at the new barn. 

I leave for Denmark tomorrow. Lots of stress. Staying calm.


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## whisperbaby22

Well good wishes go with you.


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## DanteDressageNerd

whisperbaby22- thank you. I appreciate it 

Today is my last day in the United States for a while. I'm moving back to Denmark and soon should have Wonder with me in about 4-6 weeks depending on when Wonder's traveling buddies show up at quarantine. 

The lady who is shipping Wonder is an arabian and thoroughbred person, so she works with him easily and he's at ease with them. It makes such a big difference. Some people just don't get along with hot horses. They're a different brain. I actually hadn't thought of this but the natural horsemanship trainers think Wonder was so much happier around saddlebreds and morgan because they're hotter, more thinking minded horses he could identify with. Some horses are that sensitive to the horse's around them. He was by a 5 gaited saddlebred and a former saddleseat morgan star. He got along with both horses really well. A friend who specializes in arabs said a lot of horses are happier with like minded horses, especially hot horses because it is such a different brain. And a lot of thoroughbreds I don't think of as hot like a saddlebred park horse or arabian but Wonder's brain is more like that. He's a good boy and very agreeable but more that temperament.


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