# You and your trainers relationship?



## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

I think I do, at least I hope so!


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## Kayty (Sep 8, 2009)

Absolutely. I have been riding with my coach for 10 years now, and we are very good friends as well as student/coach. We can be best of friends, drink together, go away together, our families and partners are also very close - but when it comes to Dressage, we get right into it. She will happily yell at me, chase me with lunge whips, and demand absolute perfection. Then as soon as I get off, we're mates again. 
I enjoy having such a relationship with my coach, as neither of us feel intimidated to not say something that needs saying, she will yell at me, I'll yell back at her if I don't like what she's telling me. We can go home and discuss concepts and ideas for hours!


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## BarrelracingArabian (Mar 31, 2010)

Yup i met my trainer about 6 or so yrs ago when i cheered with her daughter. Then about 2 years ago i started riding with her, taking lessons with her and she has always been there. She is always willing to get after me when riding about my previously taught bad habits haha but we can go on road trips and talk the entire time. She calls me her adopted daughter and even told her husband if I wanted / needed i could take her daughters old room lol. She has been helping me search for a horse as well as loaning me her horses to keep up to speed on .


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## BarnBum (Oct 23, 2009)

I have no problem with a trainer getting after me while riding. Thats what I'm paying for! I don't need kid gloves in a lesson. 

I guess it's more after I dismount kind of thing. I don't think I will be lucky enough to share a relationship with my trainer like ya'll seem to! I hope you know how blessed you are!


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## JaphyJaphy (Nov 15, 2012)

BarnBum said:


> I have no problem with a trainer getting after me while riding. Thats what I'm paying for! I don't need kid gloves in a lesson.
> 
> I guess it's more after I dismount kind of thing. I don't think I will be lucky enough to share a relationship with my trainer like ya'll seem to! I hope you know how blessed you are!


Don't worry, I don't either. I've been riding with my training for almost 4 years now and we're _just_ starting to make more than basic small talk  She's a good trainer and everything, but there's a language barrier (she's from Germany) and we just don't really socialize much. I'd sure like to have a trainer that I _do_ get on well with though!


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## averyhmko (Feb 4, 2013)

Absolutely, I think at least. I love my trainer she's amazing


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## Phura (Dec 4, 2012)

I think it depends on the trainer...some have an attitude as they know all, whether due to lack of respect from others or simply arrogance, some are all about business, and some genuinely care about their clients well being. Ideally for me a good trainer cares about you as a human being, provides good constructive criticism and guidance with horsemanship, and is professional with their business. 

After reading your other thread regarding your situation, I personally wouldn't hesitate to move on. I left my first trainer simply because she didn't pay enough attention to my personal safety. Nice facility and I miss the facility itself, and she had great experience and taught good lessons, but safety first!


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## gypsygirl (Oct 15, 2009)

i have to trainers and am very close to both of them. i dont ride with either of them often [one lives out of state and one has a crazy schedule, combined with the fact that i have no money] i only horse show with the one who lives out of state bc he events and my other trainer does H/J. the one who lives closer by, i know if i called him and told him i needed help with ANYTHING, he would be there to help me.


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## Lexiie (Nov 14, 2011)

I do

I've known my instructor since I was little! She's like a second mom


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## usandpets (Jan 1, 2011)

I get along with mine great most of the time but I better because I'm my own trainer. I might argue with myself once in a while but I end up winning each time. 😉
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NBEventer (Sep 15, 2012)

I have been with my coach for 16 years. She has been a Mom to me all 16 of those years. When I had problems at home I lived with her. She has gone to bat for me so many times and gone out of her way to help me. I am very blessed to have her as a coach, a mentor and a friend. 

I did move away for 8 of those years. In those years she got me a position at a huge training facility in another province. She was there for me to call and cry when I was at a horse show and things were going bad. Any time I was home to visit I would take lessons from her. She took care of my horse when I was away. She was there for me when I came home with my life in pieces. She was a shoulder to cry on, someone to stand me up and brush the dirt off.

When I am riding though she is business. She will scream at me and demand perfection. Then I jump out of the saddle and she is like my Mom again.

I can truly say I have been blessed to have her on my side. We have had our outs and gone to war with each other blood sweat and tears shed. Then we say our piece, hug and make up lol.

Now I have not always had coaches like this. I have had many coaches over the years who were strictly just that, my coach. There was no personal relationship with them. 

The coach/student relationship can be a very funny sort of relationship.


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## stingerscricket (Oct 3, 2011)

My trainer is a 65 year old cowboy who doesn't put up with whining and tells up to cowgirl up, so he can be firm, but at the same time he is very understanding..he really built my confidence back up and was patient with me after my mare sent me to the hospital. Before and after lessons we all hangout and talk and he invites us on trailrides, to auctions etc. on the weekends sometimes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MangoRoX87 (Oct 19, 2009)

My trainer is a good friend of mine!!! He calls me just to see how I am doing, not even to ask about my horse. I can go to him with anything.

Although, I think he enjoys the company of my horse more ;D He loooooves Dusty.


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## Cruiser (Aug 28, 2011)

No, the instructor I had the longest was fine but I found out she would talk behind my back saying how bad I was, and how she didn't want to teach me anything new because I was nervous. No kidding I was nervous her horses are tanks that pull, buck, rear and bolt! Plus isn't everyone nervous to learn to jump or after a serious accident? 

Looking bad I was stupid for trusting her judgement as much as I did, all the preventable injuries, lame horses, never learned anything new. 

After a fun day kind of clinic thing the guest instructor picked at me the whole time, you can't post, your no good at this not once did she say how to fix it. I was just couldn't do anything right (well that's putting it nicely, as she used a few different words). I got off the horse, untacked her, told them I wasn't there to be belitted and I wanted my money back. 

Never went back, I still talk to her and we're on good terms but I don't trust her judgement with horses in care, tack choices, in horses period. Too many trips to the ER say, years of ownership don't mean you know whats best. (This doesn't mean I know better, it means I have other people that I trust their opinions a lot more, such as vet, farrier, and more)


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## EliRose (Aug 12, 2012)

Yes! I love my trainer, we have a great relationship. She is so wonderful. I was SHOCKED that she was only 20 . . . She is just so mature, knowledgeable and kind. Far more so than my former trainer, who was in her 50s!

I can't deal with trainers who scream at me because I have GAD and APD, and her approach is perfect. When I'm riding she gets after me, without ever raising her voice. Several times during jumping lessons (and once during O.O) she has demonstrated exactly how it feels not giving a horse release by holding onto the back of my shirt and making me jump over a cross rail. Very effective!

I am so excited to be taking my new horse to her farm, she and her family give the greatest of care to their animals. She is also a wonderful rider and has Olympic aspirations (George Morris wanted her to ride for him).

My trainer may also become my boxing trainer, haha! She gave me a $100 gift card to a local Russian kickboxing gym, and we are going to start going together. So she really WILL be going to the mat for me!


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## SorrelHorse (Apr 9, 2009)

Mine would do anything I asked of her without hesitation.

She is truly an incredible person and I consider her one of my good friends.


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## star16 (Aug 10, 2012)

I had the best trainer in the world. When I was younger, the trainer that I had been riding with became almost abusive to me and her horses. Needless to say, my parents and I left after an especially bad incident. I never thought I'd ride again.

Then, about 6 months later, my mom saw an ad in the paper for a barn with trainers. It's there that I met the trainer who practically gave me my horse life back. 

She taught me well, and quickly too. I was challenged in ways that I hadn't been before, and I learned to be slightly more confident. It was wonderful not to be yelled at- my trainer treated her horses well.

I bought my first two mares- sister NSH's- from my trainer's sister. My trainer taught me how to train them, and was there for me with any and all questions.

A couple years later, my trainer was diagnosed with breast cancer. Over the next year and a half, she went through multiple surgeries, but the cancer kept coming back. At one point, I was one of the only students that she kept.

And then, the older of my two mares had to be euthanized after a shocking diagnosis of Potomac Horse Fever that was caught too late. Since my horse was alone, my trainer moved her horse to my property to keep my mare company. 

My trainer died from cancer that spring. My remaining NSH and I owe her everything.


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## Hunterjumper7654 (May 28, 2010)

My trainer is my best friend. When i'm ridding its a different story haha


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## Nevreme (Feb 23, 2012)

My first instructor was like my second mom. I'm a little ashamed to admit that I was her obvious favorite; she was never as close with her students as she was with me. I got to ride and show her personal horse, I was the only one who spent the night before horse shows, and I was the only one who got Christmas presents from her. But she was really hard on me in the saddle. She saw my potential and she didn't put up with any nonsense. Crying was fine, as long as I kept riding through it. She would yell, scream, lecture, threaten, and cajole until I did what she wanted me to do. Eventually I left her for personal reasons, and when I told her I was going we both cried.

My second instructor was really nice, we were friends but not super close, and I was actually one of her favorites as well. It seems to come along with spending five days a week at the barn, sun up to sun down, in good weather or bad. Like a package deal, haha. Anyway, I left that barn because she stopped teaching for personal reasons, and we parted good friends. I still go out there sometimes to love on her old guys and just talk.

My current instructor is like a second mom to me as well. I have an open invitation to sleep over any time I want to, I practically own one of her horses, and she's always willing to talk to me about non-horsey stuff if I want to. She doesn't push me as hard as my first instructor did, but that's okay. It's what I need right now while I build my confidence back up. I may need to find someone who will actually _make_ me ride once I feel up to it though, and while I'm nervous about telling her, I'm confident that she'll understand.


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