# Confidence



## RowdyLover (Mar 10, 2010)

I have the same problem at the moment.. well for the last 12 months I would say. It's gradually improving but the only thing that has helped is riding. I still get big time butterflys when I think about riding but if I make myself get on, even for just 15 - 20 minutes, I feel unbelievable after and want to get back on again.

It doesn't seem to matter how much you talk about it or try to logically work it out, you still have those nerves. I wish you the best of luck, get on over and over again and eventually you will find you have beaten the nerves.


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## bossybum (Apr 27, 2010)

Thank you RowdyLover


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## mbender (Jul 22, 2009)

My question is.. what happened to the confidence you had?


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## RaiRaiNY (Feb 19, 2010)

I have huge confidence issues. They come from being a nervous person to begin with, combined with recently leasing a horse that was just too much for me to handle.

I have since switched barns (and disciplines) in an attempt to start over. I am riding an intermediate level horse who is pretty dependable but not bomb-proof either. My confidence is slowly coming back.

I truly think it just takes time in the saddle in comfortable situations. Don't push yourself to do more than you're comfortable with, you'll know when you're ready to take the next step, and the next step after that.


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## flamingauburnmustang (Dec 25, 2008)

That is the ultimate question....HOW did you lose your confidence? It would help to know, then anyone who has had something similar could help give you advice or tips.


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## bossybum (Apr 27, 2010)

I lost my confidence when the horse i rode when i was 11 called Cheeky was gone the next time i came out. I had asked if i could lease her 7 times only to come back and find her gone my riding lesson teacher said someone had leased her after i had asked 7 time, So that is how i lost my confidence


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## thunderhooves (Aug 9, 2009)

You lost riding confidense when a horse you liked was sold?


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## Kayty (Sep 8, 2009)

Yep it would be good to know how you lost your confidence. But a generic way of helping you out, go have lessons on the quietest old plodder you can find. Get the instructor to put you on the lunge for a few lessons so that they have control of the horse and you can just take the time to enjoy the sensation again. From there, get the instructor to put a blindfold on you, or take your reins away so you can rely on the reins to grip. May be scary the first time, but you will come away with the biggest smile on your face and have so much more confidence in your own ability to even just balance


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## darkwillow (Apr 12, 2009)

Perhaps you thought the riding instructor viewed the other rider as being better, or that you weren't good enough? Are you eleven now?? Did your parents speak to the riding instructor about leasing the horse? If they didn't then there is the possibility that the instructor didn't take you seriously.

I think it would be best to continue riding to bring your confidence back up. It must have been sad to see your horse go to someone else, but it gives you the opportunity to ride other horses and experience different things.


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## bossybum (Apr 27, 2010)

I am 13 now and my parents did talk to the riding instructor and she knew my mum wanted to lease her


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## mbender (Jul 22, 2009)

Sounds like you will have to start over. Hopefully finding a instructor that will find you the horse that fits you and stick with it until you feel confident. I think that instructor was wrong to take that away from you. Good luck with the next instructor.


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## Kayty (Sep 8, 2009)

Sorry didn't realise you'd answered how you lost your confidence.

I don't think its a confidence thing myself, I think it's an 'upset' or 'im a princess and don't want to ride a different pony' problem. 
Unfortunately that is life and we have to deal with it. I was competing my coaches warmblood last year and doing very well on her, I would have brought her for double what my coach paid for her, but instead she decided that she wanted to use her as a school horse. Of course I was devastated, but hey, her horse her decision. The mare would've been a super competition horse and got me onto the state squad, but she was going to make more money being turned into a school horse and thats just how it goes. 

Find another horse to ride, I don't think you've 'lost your confidence' over such a petty occurrence.


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## flamingauburnmustang (Dec 25, 2008)

Bossybum, I have had lots of firsthand experience with having horses taken right out from under my nose. It has happened to me four times, and yes, it is sad and very hard, because naturally you grow close to the horse. But I just had to accept it and move on, because none of them belonged to me and I had no say about where they should be and what should be done with them. 

I don't think it is confidence. I think that it's rather just that you were let down, and you didn't cope very well with it. I suggest that you try and get back into the flow of things and try to form some kind of protective "shell", because sadly, things work like that in the horse world. I hope that things get better for you, and that you can get back to riding and being with horses again. :smile:


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## bossybum (Apr 27, 2010)

yes my parents did talk to the riding instructor because she is my aunty and it was her horse. she said that she will look into leasing the horse she also said that i am the best in that class so all i need is to get my confidence back but how. so can we put me losing the horse i love behind us and can i get some tips on how to get my confidenceback

Thankyou


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## MissH (Apr 10, 2010)

I agree...this doesn't really seem like a confidence issue to me.


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## SorrelHorse (Apr 9, 2009)

bossybum said:


> yes my parents did talk to the riding instructor because she is my aunty and it was her horse. she said that she will look into leasing the horse she also said that i am the best in that class so all i need is to get my confidence back but how. so can we put me losing the horse i love behind us and can i get some tips on how to get my confidenceback
> 
> Thankyou


 
Whoa, wait. Is it confidence with your abilities, or is it a fear/nervous thing? I don't understand how you could possible lose your confidence from just _that. _


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## RowdyLover (Mar 10, 2010)

I think you might need to look back and see if there are any other reasons to your confidence loss. Have you had any bad falls? Can you tell us why you want to get your confidence back? If you have had a bad experience with a horse, or horses, let us know what it was. Not being able to lease the horse of your dreams is a sad thing but it can't be the only reason to your loss of confidence. 
I look forward to hearing your response and trying to help you through this.


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## darkwillow (Apr 12, 2009)

you said that they wouldn't lease you the horse? is your aunty the riding instructor. I know relatives can say something just to be nice without really meaning it. If she leased to horse to someone else, but not you, there would have a perfectly good reason.

I agree that this does not really sound like a confidence issue. Maybe you were a nervous rider to begin with, you grew comfortable with a particular horse and you don't want to try riding a new horse. I have a sister like that. =)


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## HowClever (Feb 16, 2010)

bossybum said:


> yes my parents did talk to the riding instructor because she is my aunty and it was her horse. she said that she will look into leasing the horse she also said that i am the best in that class so all i need is to get my confidence back but how. so can we put me losing the horse i love behind us and can i get some tips on how to get my confidenceback
> 
> Thankyou


I think you need to be a little more careful with words. My mum was not your instructor, she had no part in what happened. Just tell the story how it is and you will get more helpful opinions.


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## SorrelHorse (Apr 9, 2009)

HowClever said:


> I think you need to be a little more careful with words. My mum was not your instructor, she had no part in what happened. Just tell the story how it is and you will get more helpful opinions.


Do you know something we don't?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## flamingauburnmustang (Dec 25, 2008)

Hey....HowClever, do you know bossybum? :???:


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## bossybum (Apr 27, 2010)

Okay when i was 11 the first time i rode a horse was on the trail and the riding instructer had not taught us the emergence dissmount so i fell off and hit head my on the ground which was like 30 CM from a rock. After that i rode cheeky in the lessons when sally said she was shuting down to move she said she was ethier selling the horses or the ones she was leasing got leased out so i asked sally if i could lease cheeky. so how would i get my confidence back please i need some help in getting mmy confidence


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## bossybum (Apr 27, 2010)

How clever is my second cousin


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## HowClever (Feb 16, 2010)

Not knowing the emergency dismount is not why you fell. Everybody falls. Unfortunately the only way to get back your confidence is to get back on. Ride ride ride. 

You are going to fall, its a part of horse riding. If you get back on and get back in to learning to ride properly, you will learn how to prevent yourself from falling most of the time.


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## ilovemyPhillip (Apr 4, 2009)

HowClever said:


> Not knowing the emergency dismount is not why you fell. Everybody falls. Unfortunately the only way to get back your confidence is to get back on. Ride ride ride.
> 
> You are going to fall, its a part of horse riding. If you get back on and get back in to learning to ride properly, you will learn how to prevent yourself from falling most of the time.


Yep. That's all I have to say.


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## ilovemyPhillip (Apr 4, 2009)

Wait, I lied, I have more to add. 

I lost my confidence two summers ago, when a pony bolted on me and I could not control her. I ran her into a fence and nearly took a spill (I had only fallen two times), and I was scared to death of cantering after that. So, for a year and a half, I did no cantering (unless it was hill-topping). But that is about the time I bought my mare & gelding.. The gelding was too spooky at the time for me to deal with so I rode my mare. She threw me, reared, bolted, bucked.. The whole nine yards.. But I kept getting back on. After I decided she was too much to handle I rode my gelding.. Who is a helluva lot calmer. I just did A LOT of trotting, and nothing else. No jumping, no trail rides, just trotting in a circle. 

Well last fall I was taking a lesson on a school pony when the instructor asked me to canter. I was so nervous.. but I did a few strides.. Then each time after I would do more. Then in October (2009) I cantered my pony for the first time. Now I jump, canter, gallop, and everything else on green horses, and my ponies. Do I still fall? Yeah I fell a few weeks ago. Do I still get nervous? Sometimes but I work through the fear. 

If you want to continue with riding then just get on a calm horse and work up to the fear. Push that fear to the side and with determination work to riding like a real horse-woman! But you have to want to. If you could care less then screw it, you "know you can't" - so therefore you cannot. You don't have the ability if you don't want to.


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## SorrelHorse (Apr 9, 2009)

Thank you for being honest with us, at least.

Just gotta get back on and ride. ANd like they said, not knowing the emergency dismount is not a reason to fall. It just happens

Just be more careful not to make excuses next time


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## bossybum (Apr 27, 2010)

Thankyou SO MUCH!!!!


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## darkwillow (Apr 12, 2009)

I think we've been saying get on and ride from the start. It's the only way.


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## BestJumping (May 7, 2010)

Keep your practice continue you will get it by itself own. Adventures are necessary in life. Thanks


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