# Advice about a terrible boarder



## Poseidon (Oct 1, 2010)

So do you work at this barn? Or are you just a boarder? Do you have permission to be riding this gelding?


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## ~*~anebel~*~ (Aug 21, 2008)

If somewhere I was boarding my horse felt entitled to ride it I would be ****ed too.

Horses do not need grain, they do not need to be ridden or bathed or sprayed with fly spray or brushed or any of that stuff.

They NEED food, shelter and water. If your horse density is so high that your horses have visible worms in their feces then you need to rethink boarding.

At all the places where I have boarded, there are usually one or two horses that see their owner once a year tops. The BO feeds the horse, worms it, brings it in for the farrier and then bills the owner accordingly. The owner pays the bill and everyone is happy. The owner doesn't pay the bill and the BO pulls livery and auctions off the horse. It's not rocket science.


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

You said you cleaned their tack.....but you also said they keep it locked away in a shed??????:shock:
You don't have a right to ride someone else's horse, nor do you have a right to use their tack...I'd be smokin mad if someone where I board thought just because they brushed my horse out of their own volition was then entitled to ride it....
Also, they pay for 1/4 of the hay? But don't feed it? Perfect, all the more hay for you.


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## Spotted (Sep 19, 2012)

I'd make a list of what he needs, worming, being fed by them, farrier work ect. and if they don't comply then he can no longer stay there. 
He is absolutly useless to you if your are not allowed to ride him, so why in heck would you do this.
maybe say that people are asking questions about him and its putting you in a tough spot...
maybe offer to do a free lease, you do you as you please with him and take care of him. 
If they were paying for board it would be a different story. 
They are not providing him with regular/daily care.


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

Whoa y'all, this is MY barn. Guess I didnt make that clear lol. I am providing EVERYTHING for this horse. I own the barn, land, everything. 

The owners are NOT billed AT ALL. They are expected to take care of him but they don't. He is almost 20 now. Time to step up, but they do not care about his health. That is the point. 

And yes, I am entitled to ride him because 1) he is at my house 2)I feed him, water him, hay him, do everything for him 3) They wouldn't have the horse if I didn't agree to let it stay here.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Did you agree to take him on for no cost? Then that's on you, and you can't get mad if they're not paying you anything.

If you want them to start paying, draw up a contract stating boarding, farrier and vet costs, and present it to them. 

If they're not willing to sign the contract and start coming up with the money for standard maintenance care, then they can find the horse another place to live. I don't care if they're family or not, but I'm bitchy like that.

As far as you riding the horse, if they didn't specifically give you permission you're in the wrong.


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## ~*~anebel~*~ (Aug 21, 2008)

KSL said:


> Whoa y'all, this is MY barn. Guess I didnt make that clear lol. I am providing EVERYTHING for this horse. I own the barn, land, everything.
> 
> The owners are NOT billed AT ALL. They are expected to take care of him but they don't. He is almost 20 now. Time to step up, but they do not care about his health. That is the point.
> 
> And yes, I am entitled to ride him because 1) he is at my house 2)I feed him, water him, hay him, do everything for him 3) They wouldn't have the horse if I didn't agree to let it stay here.



Seriously??

How much experience do you have boarding horses? Is there a contract involved?

At 98% of boarding places yes, the owner pays to keep the horse at the BOs house, feed him, water him, bring him into his stall, change his blankets, do 'everything for him' and in most cases, yes, the owner would not be able to have the horse if it wasn't for the BO and his/her barn. Still doesn't entitle ANY of those barn owners to ride the horse. Were it my horse I would have sued the pants off you for riding it without permission. It's your fault for not requiring a contract to be signed for what the owner is to be paying to keep the horse and the requirements for them keeping the horse there. Because you have no contract, you have no legal rights. If the owners can prove ownership of the horse then it's actually YOU that is in the legal wrong and are liable to be sued.

If you don't feel the horse is being brushed regularly enough then call the authorities *rolls eyes*

ETA I agree with Speed, get and sign a contract and if they cant do that then they can find a new place to keep the horse.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

This is a tough situation. I am sorry you have allowed yourself to be put in it. However, the horse is on your land so, unless it is cared for, technically, I would think you could be turned in for neglect or abuse. 

I am guessing you have no written agreement. so, you need to start now. I would be really honest with these folks, and tell them that you MUST have a written boarding agreement and that certain minimal care will be required or the horse. Since it is family and could be a little bit of a delicate situation-I probably would blame my insurance company or something liability wise. I would put in writing all the things that are required, including shots, worming, farrier, etc. Then state that if these are not done, they will be done by you for $_____. I personally would include a reasonable fee for myself, (holding/handling fees) and to cover the legal crap that is coming when they fail to comply. THis is NOT out of the ordinary stuff, and they will probably pitch a fit-but stick by your guns.

I would send them notice-certified mail, so that you know they got it, and, when you see them, get them to sign a boarding agreement. If they refuse-horse must move. Period. Remember-the "insurance company" is requiring this. It becomes business. It is no longer personal. Now, once they have the notice-start brushing up on what the laws are in your area as far as abandonment. You COULD even write that into the boarding agreement if you want. I have boarded places where if you miss 2 months board the horse becomes theirs. They also had stiff late fees of board was paid after the 5th...and this place is always full. Now-if you have other boarders, you will have to do the same for them. Be prepared-you may well end up owning the horse through abandonment.....and then, you can sell it if you want, or use it. LEGALLY.


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

KSL said:


> Whoa y'all, this is MY barn. Guess I didnt make that clear lol. I am providing EVERYTHING for this horse. I own the barn, land, everything.
> 
> The owners are NOT billed AT ALL. They are expected to take care of him but they don't. He is almost 20 now. Time to step up, but they do not care about his health. That is the point.
> 
> And yes, I am entitled to ride him because 1) he is at my house 2)I feed him, water him, hay him, do everything for him 3) They wouldn't have the horse if I didn't agree to let it stay here.


NO, WHOA! If the horse DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU it does not mean you are entitled to ride it UNLESS the owner has said so. And it sounds to me like the owner does not want you riding him, as stated in you first post about them being peeved about it. Just because you take care of the animal, he still does not belong to you....
You know the saying ' don't bite the hand that feeds you'? You ought a be preaching it to the owners.....


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## Hailey1203 (Dec 12, 2010)

Quietly subbing... :-|


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

Family or no you need to draw up a contract. 
Taking care of the horse for free doesn't essentially give you the right to ride it. I had boarders who paid me to do everything for their horses but that didn't give me the right to ride them as and when I felt like it - thats something that has to be agreed up front.
Get it clear in writing exactly what you are supposed to do for this horse and then do nothing more than that
I would personally ask them to leave - why would you be doing all of this for nothing and then moan about it on an open forum?


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

You are an enabler and they are taking advantage of this. They obviously don't share your opinion on what constitutes good horse care. Why would you have taken it upon youself to think you needed to keep this horse rideable for your cousin if no one asked you to. I suspect you are afraid of a confrontation rather than making them step up to the plate. It is up to you to change the situation and if you don't it will continue. The stress it's causing you isn't worth it.


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## Spotted (Sep 19, 2012)

make a contract up...give it to them and if they don't sign, then maybe they would take a hint to either move the horse. or if they don't want you riding then they will step up to the plate..


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## verona1016 (Jul 3, 2011)

Do you have other paying boarders (i.e. is this an actual, registered business), or is this just you allowing your aunt to keep her horse on your property as a family arrangement?


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## Critter sitter (Jun 2, 2012)

I feel for you.. some of us Nice ones always get taken advantage of


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Critter sitter said:


> I feel for you.. some of us Nice ones always get taken advantage of


Nope, that's not being nice, that's being an enabler. Two different things. You can be perfectly nice and never have someone take advantage of you. If you demand respect, you'll get it. If you just mumble, shuffle your feet and take whatever's being dished out, then it's your own fault.

If you're wimpy and your idea of dealing with confrontation is to run from it, then you're not 'nice' you're _allowing_ someone to use you. The longer you let it go on, the worse it gets. Time to find your spine!


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

Speed Racer said:


> Nope, that's not being nice, that's being an enabler. Two different things. You can be perfectly nice and never have someone take advantage of you. If you demand respect, you'll get it. If you just mumble, shuffle your feet and take whatever's being dished out, then it's your own fault.
> 
> If you're wimpy and your idea of dealing with confrontation is to run from it, then you're not 'nice' you're _allowing_ someone to use you. The longer you let it go on, the worse it gets.


BAHAHAHAHA! Love it! I totally agree with you! Make your 'no' mean 'no'!!


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

verona1016 said:


> Do you have other paying boarders (i.e. is this an actual, registered business), or is this just you allowing your aunt to keep her horse on your property as a family arrangement?


I have no other boarders. It is a favor I am doing out of the kindness of my heart.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

Speed Racer said:


> Nope, that's not being nice, that's being an enabler. Two different things. You can be perfectly nice and never have someone take advantage of you. If you demand respect, you'll get it. If you just mumble, shuffle your feet and take whatever's being dished out, then it's your own fault.
> 
> If you're wimpy and your idea of dealing with confrontation is to run from it, then you're not 'nice' you're _allowing_ someone to use you. The longer you let it go on, the worse it gets. Time to find your spine!


You must not understand keeping peace with my family through all of this.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

KSL said:


> I have no other boarders. *It is a favor I am doing out of the kindness of my heart.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It sure doesn't sound like it.


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

boots said:


> It sure doesn't sound like it.


I swear.....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

Making them sign a contract and provide care for their own horse or move it may stir up some controversy for a while, but by doing so you're also telling the rest of your family that you will do kind things but not be taken advantage of. My daddy used to say, "You can bend over backwards until you're just bending over.". Stop bending over.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

boots said:


> It sure doesn't sound like it.


Not sure why you say this. Because she has had enough? Because she is trying to keep peace in the family, but has ended up between the proverbial rock and hard place by doing so? Is she just supposed to let the horses stand there ON HER PROPERTY not fed, not wormed, feet and teeth not done, risking neglect charges because they are too lazy to care for their horse? Frankly, if she had had a contract in the first place, she would most likely own the **** horse by now. One ride is miniscule. The owners have done nothing for this horse and now they complain about one ride? All of a sudden they are interested? Seriously? They should be glad someone actually cares for this horse. My BO cares regularly for some of the horses at our barn because the owners have lost interest. She cannot stand to look out her window and see a horse not groomed, shedding with dreadlocks in its tail and mane, so she brushes it. We shed them out (one had Cushings) and still the owners never come. No, we do not ride them, since, in our case, they are basically unrideable. But, it is difficult when you live there, to watch an animal not groomed, not cared for, etc. She gets the feet, worming done, etc, and the owners just pay.


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## Sahara (Jul 23, 2010)

I understand the idea of keeping the peace within a family. However, it is plainly obvious that your aunt doesn't share your concerns. If she did, she would discuss riding privileges with you in exchange for all of the services you have provided for her gelding. As it stands, I would tie the horse to her front porch and be done with it.


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

I say that it doesn't sound like the OP is doing it out of the goodness of her heart because she made one deal and is now changing it, and coming on here and bashing family instead of dealing with the situation for the horse.

She agreed to keep a horse for a relative. Not even a contract or payment involved. No expectations spelled out. And the OP admits to riding someone else's horse even though they express a preference that she doesn't. If he's needing attention regarding teeth floating, etc. why ride it?

I agree with "enabler" and if the horse's condition is so bad and you can't confront the owner, put in an anonymous call to animal control or the sheriff. If you can show that you've paid for the things you claim, and that the owner's refuse to do what's needed, you'll be okay and they'll be pressured.

I wouldn't do it that way, but if the horse is your primary concern, then go for it.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

boots said:


> I say that it doesn't sound like the OP is doing it out of the goodness of her heart because she made one deal and is now changing it, and coming on here and bashing family instead of dealing with the situation for the horse.*She ORIGINALLY did it out of the goodness of her heart, yes, and since it was family, there was no signed agreement. Not unusual when we are talking about one horse at your house. OP has not changed the deal. The relative has not kept up their end, and Op is tired of dealing with it.*
> 
> She agreed to keep a horse for a relative. Not even a contract or payment involved. No expectations spelled out. *Just a verbal agreement that they care for their horse.* And the OP admits to riding someone else's horse even though they express a preference that she doesn't. If he's needing attention regarding teeth floating, etc. why ride it? *I got the idea that the objection is new. I think OP has been working the horse (keeping it up so the daughter can ride it.....) for a while.*
> 
> ...


Personally-I would get done what needs doing, and send them a bill if you cannot get thru to them any other way. I would, however give you mom (they are her relatives?) a heads up.


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

boots said:


> I say that it doesn't sound like the OP is doing it out of the goodness of her heart because she made one deal and is now changing it, and coming on here and bashing family instead of dealing with the situation for the horse.
> 
> She agreed to keep a horse for a relative. Not even a contract or payment involved. No expectations spelled out. And the OP admits to riding someone else's horse even though they express a preference that she doesn't. If he's needing attention regarding teeth floating, etc. why ride it?
> 
> ...



First of all, I ride the horse maybe, I mean MAYBE, once a month. And, that is on short rides just so he literally doesn't turn wild. It was at a point last year when I couldn't even touch him. 

The owners LOVE me to ride him right before MayRide (an 25 mile endurance group ride) that her daughter rides him in every year with her girlfriends. That is the ONLY time they bother with the horse. It's a big social event in our area. They are always wanted me to get him ready for the long ride but pitch a fit if I ride him before about a month before MayRide.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

franknbeans said:


> Not sure why you say this. Because she has had enough? Because she is trying to keep peace in the family, but has ended up between the proverbial rock and hard place by doing so? Is she just supposed to let the horses stand there ON HER PROPERTY not fed, not wormed, feet and teeth not done, risking neglect charges because they are too lazy to care for their horse? Frankly, if she had had a contract in the first place, she would most likely own the **** horse by now. One ride is miniscule. The owners have done nothing for this horse and now they complain about one ride? All of a sudden they are interested? Seriously? They should be glad someone actually cares for this horse. My BO cares regularly for some of the horses at our barn because the owners have lost interest. She cannot stand to look out her window and see a horse not groomed, shedding with dreadlocks in its tail and mane, so she brushes it. We shed them out (one had Cushings) and still the owners never come. No, we do not ride them, since, in our case, they are basically unrideable. But, it is difficult when you live there, to watch an animal not groomed, not cared for, etc. She gets the feet, worming done, etc, and the owners just pay.


 Yes. Exactly. Thank you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

franknbeans said:


> Not sure why you say this. Because she has had enough? Because she is...


 
So, if the horse is so neglected and the OP can't/won't do anything to change the situation, call animal control. Regarding the horse. This is about a horse's well-being, correct? 

KSL, you are worried about the horse, is that a fact? Then do something.

When animal control comes, you have receipts (surely) to show what you've paid for. You can explain that you, too, are concerned but in a tough situation, and would appreciate their help.


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

boots said:


> So, if the horse is so neglected and the OP can't/won't do anything to change the situation, call animal control. Regarding the horse. This is about a horse's well-being, correct?
> 
> KSL, you are worried about the horse, is that a fact? Then do something.
> 
> When animal control comes, you have receipts (surely) to show what you've paid for. You can explain that you, too, are concerned but in a tough situation, and would appreciate their help.


He isn't neglected enough for animal control to do anything. He is fat and happy, because of me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KatRocks (Jul 25, 2012)

I understand where you are coming from. If I was in your situation I would've done the same thing. The only thing you can do at this point is 1. Make a contract that they either pay for his needs, which in this day and age is not just shelter,food and water, but hoofs, teeth, worming ect. And you wont ride him. 2. Another contract where you continue to pay but have the ability to ride him (by showing them that what you have done so far is upkeeping his basic needs and in compensation they let you ride 3. Tell them to take the horse elsewhere 4. Ask to buy the horse or 5. ... just deal with it. I understand your frustration. I can't understand how some people want a horse to say that they 'ride' or whatever and then not take care of it. As if owning a horse magically makes you some sort of socialite/well to do person. Im dead broke because of my one little pony. I work my butt of at work and save save save to be able to provide everything at the end of the day. And I still don't have money to do it all. Some people just don't get that horses are complex creatures, more than dogs and cats. And that they live wayyyy longer than most 'pets' I applaud you for stepping up and taking care of this horse. I hope everything works out for you and eventually for the horse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## trailhorserider (Oct 13, 2009)

You know, don't you guys think the actual owner of the horse has some responsibility for it's care? I could see myself in the same position as the OP and I would be ****ed too. But I wouldn't neglect the horse just because the owner is a flake. 

So taking care of the horse's needs and then being upset that the actual owner never does a thing makes you a pushover huh? I guess I would be a pushover in that situation too. Because I would never have a horse on my property uncared for just because the owner was lazy or didn't care. I love horses too much to let that happen. 

Actually, I did have a similar situation at one time and I finally did have to put my foot down. I had a friend who never trimmed her horses feet nor would she hire a farrier. It got to the point that if she went on vacation and I was horse sitting I would trim their feet while she was gone because I couldn't stand to see them overgrown. Finally I did have to put my foot down because physically I can't trim for 3 extra horses that are not even my own. I have health problems and the upkeep on my own is enough.

So what happened? She still won't pay a farrier, the horses grow long until either the hooves break off or she tries to trim them herself. Which she then complains about how hard it is on her. And all the while I am thinking "You make ten times more money than I do, pay a @!*&%@ farrier." I have even suggested she hire a farrier. It never happens. :evil:

So yeah, I know the feeling.


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## caseymyhorserocks (Apr 5, 2010)

KSL said:


> In those years, he has been ridden about 10 times and they have NEVER fed him grain. There is nothing wrong with not riding your horse.. If a horse needs to be ridden to give him exercise his living area is too small. Also, nothing wrong with not feeding grain- just like there is nothing wrong with eating dessert.
> 
> I try to ride him and exercise him so that he will be good for their daughter (who is 15) when she wants to ride (which is once a year, maybe.) If they want their horse to be good for their daughter to ride yearly, then they need to ride him more.We have had SO much drama revolving around this horse. WE keep him for free on OUR land but they don't allow us to use their tack, equipment, or anything. It's their stuff. You could charge if you wanted to. They lock it all in their shed. They usually say they can't afford hoof trimming when the farrier comes, so I usually have to pay for that and they never bathe him, spray him with fly spray, feed him, groom him, ride him, worm him or take him to the vet. I literally had to beg them to get his West Nile vaccine, and even then the owner tried to tell me she would order it offline. Lots of people vaccinate their own horses be order vaccines online. Horses DON'T need to be bathed, fly sprayed, and it may be better for them health wise to be groomed, its not necessary. Charge them for the hoof trimming that you pay, and if they dont pay, kick them out.
> 
> ...





KSL said:


> The owners are NOT billed AT ALL. They are expected to take care of him but they don't. Then do something about it. He is almost 20 now. Time to step up, but they do not care about his health. It was time to step up years ago for both the owner and you. That is the point.
> 
> And yes, I am entitled to ride him because 1) he is at my house 2)I feed him, water him, hay him, do everything for him 3) They wouldn't have the horse if I didn't agree to let it stay here. Since they wont pay for anything, they shouldn't have the horse. They are taking advantege of you. Basically, what you are saying that I can ride any horse that I take care of and pay for.. and that, I believe is quite sad.






KSL said:


> He isn't neglected enough for animal control to do anything. He is fat and happy, because of me.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


On a side note- fat and healthy dont belong together. Fat horse is unhealthy, healthy horse is at a good weight.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

Who made it your job to keep peace in the family? Were you appointed or did you volunteer for the job? I have a saying too, When it comes to relationships we have to bend but never so far as to kiss the other person's a**.


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

caseymyhorserocks said:


> On a side note- fat and healthy dont belong together. Fat horse is unhealthy, healthy horse is at a good weight.


Just a side note for Casey, I think she needs the vet out to worm him because he's loaded with worms and might need to be tube drenched.....she didn't say tube drench, but said he was loaded. That was my perception anyway.


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## Chardavej (Mar 13, 2011)

All those saying call animal control, she would be the one in trouble as the horse is under her care on her property.

Also, the horse was supposed to be there only on a temp basis till they got their fence built. 4 years later and still no fence.

Peace or no peace, I would have to put my foot down and say you have "X" amount of time to build your fence, I'm done.


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## Equilove (Feb 21, 2011)

caseymyhorserocks said:


> On a side note- fat and healthy dont belong together. Fat horse is unhealthy, healthy horse is at a good weight.


"Fat and happy" is just a saying... like "fat and sassy". It just means the horse is alive and well, I'm sure. Let's not nit-pick.

@KSL, get a contract, and I mean NOW. If that horse hurts himself on your property (foot through a fence, etc) then they could very well hold you responsible. If they decide to come out and handle him and he hurts THEM, they can hold you responsible. If he gets sick... you get the idea. It doesn't seem this person is as willing to "keep peace in the family" as you are...

Verbal agreements are dangerous things because they are so insubstantial, especially from a legal standpoint. Make up a contract stating these things:

1) You are not liable for any injury or illness to the horse in any way.
2) You are not liable for injuries caused by the horse to the owner or owner's guests.
3) It is required that the horse receives regular worming (specify timeframe)
4) It is required that the horse receives regular vet care (specify vaccines required)
5) Owner is responsible for paying any fees you have covered within 30 days of you paying them.

The worming/vet care could be justified by wanting to protect the welfare of the other animals on the property. As far as drawing a coggins and getting certain vaccines... well, a lot of people only do certain ones, especially if the horses don't travel. If they are in a closed herd and don't get out much, most people don't worry about shots. But where I boarded, it was required that everyone's horse was vaccinated annually for west nile, rhino, etc.

Something you can't really put in a contract is "Owner is required to ride horse" because that's just silly and impractical. But you get what I'm trying to say... release yourself of all liability to that horse.

Honestly from a legal standpoint the horse is yours... she brought him there saying it would be temporary and then neglected him from the sounds of it. You did what was in the best interest of the horse and hopefully you have the receipts from the farrier/vet to show it. I know someone who just lost 2 of her horses because she did something similar to what you're doing. Except in her case, she was the one mooching off of kind-hearted people. She decided to leave, and the owners of the property did not want the horses to leave and had paid for their care without any compensation. They had receipts. They kept two of her three horses and sent her on her way. The person who came to pick up her 3rd horse was in law and said that she wouldn't have stood a chance in court. Sit down with your aunt have give her a stern talking to.

I know there have been some negative "WHOA WHOA WHOA" comments but try not to get down. No one knows your struggle like you do, so it isn't fair judgement.

If anything, just offer to buy the horse. Keep peace by letting them come ride him... which it doesn't sound like will be very often. So you wouldn't have to worry about that.

I still recommend getting a contract ASAP! If they don't want to comply... well lookie there, looks like they need to go somewhere else.

Good luck!


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

The owner of the horseis my mothers sister. My mom lives with me and she is our next door neighbor. We live in the middle of nowhere and they are the only friends that my mom has around basically. We keep her kids, she babysits our dogs, they drink coffee in the mornings... 

I have asked my mom multiple times to talk to her, and she has, but the owner just blows it off like it isn't a big deal. My mom is done with the situation and has firmly said to drop the horse situation. 

They are family, and pretty close family, and I don't feel like causing a huge riff in the peace we have now. 

And for everyone saying he doesn't need to be ridden and doesn't need grain and blah blah blah... Why do you even have horses?? Yes he needs to be ridden if they expect him to carry their 200 pound daughter freakin 50 or something miles once a year! Yes he needs grain in the winter and the grass is dead and he is dropping weight daily because of worms and bad teeth and old age! Yes he needs vet care and worming and just... General care! Seriously. We had to cut his entire tail off because it was one big huge rock hard mat. 

I've tried to put my foot down multiple times but it is extremely hard when I have my parents and family involved in this. 

Him staying here was always temporary and now it's turned Into "own out horse until we want to ride him 50 miles so we can look cool and then he is ours"
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Equilove (Feb 21, 2011)

KSL said:


> The owner of the horseis my mothers sister. My mom lives with me and she is our next door neighbor. We live in the middle of nowhere and they are the only friends that my mom has around basically. We keep her kids, she babysits our dogs, they drink coffee in the mornings...
> 
> I have asked my mom multiple times to talk to her, and she has, but the owner just blows it off like it isn't a big deal. My mom is done with the situation and has firmly said to drop the horse situation.
> 
> ...


My honest opinion is that it's ridiculous they throw a fit when you ride him. I'd say stop riding him and let their daughter get on him after you haven't worked with him and let them learn the hard way. Grrr... I understand your frustration. I really do. YOU need to be the one talking to her. It's your property... I still think you should make an offer to buy him.


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## KatRocks (Jul 25, 2012)

How old are you? If this is your barn then your rules right? Unless you are a minor or don't actually own the property?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

She rode him in a 25 mile ride a few years ago out of the blue and he could barely walk for a week. Who was out soaking his accessed feet in Epsom salt twice a day? Me. Who took an hour moving him from pasture to pasture slowly? Me. Who called in a specialty farrier and home vet visit? Me. The little girl who rode him literally got off at the end of the little parade, handed the horse to her daddy, he brought it home, put him in the field and gave him an ENTIRE 10 gallon bucket of brand new feed and left him for another 10 months. He had two accesses from nails sticking in his feet, founder, stone bruises galore and (I think) general exhaustion. 

Made me literally sick.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

You know....it's kinda like the inlaws.....I USED to get real ****ed at my inlaws......however, to save a big huge fight with my better half I tolerate them, feed them when they come over, clean up after them, even pay for their gas when the drive the 30 mins to visit (pleading poverty always) ...the list goes on....
I could put my foot down, get real pedantic about everything, fight with my husband, have him not have them over so often yada yada yada.....and have my husband resent me.....

It's not worth the fight......so I've sucked it up, I tune it out, do what I need to do and have a little party in my head when I see the tail lights heading out the driveway.....

It's all about perspective, things could be much worse (in my case they could if I spoke up) but just to keep the peace I do what I need to do.....even if it means I pay for all their meals, gas etc.......they won't be around forever and I would rather my husband have his folks in his life than have a wife that he resents....

Do you see what I'm saying......:shock:
Is it WORTH the fight?
On that note though.....some financial assistance from the owners would be the LEAST they could offer....


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

KatRocks said:


> How old are you? If this is your barn then your rules right? Unless you are a minor or don't actually own the property?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


My parents own the property. We live on a ranch, so they own the barn and such. I bought an acre from them about 1/2 mile from their home but still on their land and built a house. I have full acess to the ranch though, obviously. They are living with me right now though because they are upgrading their house. But, technically, it is there barn and land.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chiilaa (Aug 12, 2010)

It's your parent's barn and land. Your Mom has said she doesn't mind, to just drop it. Sounds to me all you need to do is wash your hands of the situation. Let them just deal with it between themselves and walk away.


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## KatRocks (Jul 25, 2012)

Is he the only horse there? Why not just talk to your aunt. I can see now that 'kicking' the horse off the property would be difficult since you don't own the land. Hmmm. That's a tough one. Explain to your mother and aunt you are at the end of your rope with this. Since you all are so 'close' I would just ride him anyways, what can they do honestly? Take him away (wouldn't have eventually be a better option for you anyways) and its not like they can threaten to stop paying for things because they don't actually do that in the first place.... hopefully you've saved receipts and statements from vets and farriers sstating YOU paid for it and have been the primary care giver. I highly doubt legal action would be taken because they don't give two ploops about this horse anyways... so why would they even bother with the legal system.... maybe if they were really vindictive... but that's for you to decide.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Red Gate Farm (Aug 28, 2011)

If the land is your parents' land, and this is your mother's sister, then really, isn't it your parents who agreed to board the horse and not you? Why is this your responsibility? 

If it bothers you so much, look after your own horse, let your parents look after this horse and let them deal with the aunt. 

Stop riding the horse. When it dumps the girl or otherwise misbehaves, maybe your aunt will sell him and you won't have to deal with this anymore.


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

KatRocks said:


> Is he the only horse there? Why not just talk to your aunt. I can see now that 'kicking' the horse off the property would be difficult since you don't own the land. Hmmm. That's a tough one. Explain to your mother and aunt you are at the end of your rope with this. Since you all are so 'close' I would just ride him anyways, what can they do honestly? Take him away (wouldn't have eventually be a better option for you anyways) and its not like they can threaten to stop paying for things because they don't actually do that in the first place.... hopefully you've saved receipts and statements from vets and farriers sstating YOU paid for it and have been the primary care giver. I highly doubt legal action would be taken because they don't give two ploops about this horse anyways... so why would they even bother with the legal system.... maybe if they were really vindictive... but that's for you to decide.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have 3 horses there also. The barn is 75 feet from my actual house and I just help run the ranch and work from home most of the time. 

I do and will continue to ride him. Honestly, I guess I will keep doing what I am doing but I am going to start saving all my receipts.

And, if I just "washed my hands of it" the horse would be on acres and acres of land, not fed, not wormed, hooves not trimmed and not vaccinated. That's a health risk to him as well as my horses. He's 20, I'm not just going to let him sit and rot.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

Red Gate Farm said:


> If the land is your parents' land, and this is your mother's sister, then really, isn't it your parents who agreed to board the horse and not you? Why is this your responsibility?
> 
> If it bothers you so much, look after your own horse, let your parents look after this horse and let them deal with the aunt.
> 
> Stop riding the horse. When it dumps the girl or otherwise misbehaves, maybe your aunt will sell him and you won't have to deal with this anymore.


My mom isn't a horsy person. My dad doesn't have time. It is my job to be in control of the barn/horses/care of the working stock. 

We ALL agreed to "Board" the horse temporarily and the decision was ultimately mine since I care for the horses primarily.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

KSL said:


> I do and will continue to ride him. Honestly, I guess I will keep doing what I am doing but I am going to start saving all my receipts.


There's a post on here about the sense of entitlement many people today have. It's worth a read.

Here's the deal: YOU may think you're doing this person "a favor" and as such are entitled to full use of their horse. In reality, it's THEIR horse, not yours, and you don't have the right to ride him simply because you are caring for him (again, it sounds, without their permission). Yes, it's a wonderful thing that you're caring for this horse when the owner is a deadbeat, but it doesn't mean you own the horse or can make the decisions about the horse. It just means you're doing something nice. (BTW doing something nice should usually be accompanied by *not expecting anything in return. *Otherwise, it's not "a favor" or "being nice," it's doing something so you can get something else in return. In this case, it's free rides on a horse that's not yours. Nothing wrong with it... but don't pat yourself on the back or strut about boasting about how awesome and generous you are). 

Also, I'm not sure what you think saving your receipts is going to do... if you're buying things* they aren't asking you to buy* they are GIFTS not expenses. I wouldn't expect repayment.


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## Chiilaa (Aug 12, 2010)

If your parents are the ones who have agreed to have the horse on their property, I am not sure what you want us to tell you. Clearly we should be patting you on the back because you are doing such a great job, and clearly your aunt is a neglectful owner who doesn't love her ponykins... But there is no way for you to get out of this situation without leaving it up to the people who are making the choices.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

As it's your parents property, your Mom doesn't want to kick her out, and you have been asked to take care of the barn and animals - that is what you have to do. 

The discussion then becomes who pays for the care of the horse. I think your mother should. 

I also don't think you should be riding the horse. The fact that a kid rides the horse once a year is totally irrelevant.


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## attackships (Jan 12, 2012)

i'm actually in a similar situation. money is not an issue in my case but i understand being frustrated with horses at my barn going without care. my sister and i each own 2 horses that we have on our parents property. once she graduated college she pretty much stopped providing care for her two. they live in a barn with smaller areas of turnout available so its not like theyre free on the range. it stressed me out to see them cooped up, stalls not clean, never turned out, never dewormed etc. they had all this pent up energy. even though my parents are the barn owner they know nothing what so ever about horses so theres no way they would take on the responsibility of cleaning feeding and watering. 

my sister still occasionally rides, but she usuaally ends up frustrated with the ride because either her mare is acting up or something else. (a lot of it is that her mare is just really out of shape) Its not really rocket science to me since she rarely rides her and has never so much as put a halter on her in the last 6 years.

honestly if i were you i would kind of cut back on the time/energy you spend on this horse. Make sure the basics are being met (keep the receipts for those) and show your mom the bill and talk about how you are going to approach her sister about this. its not like youre buying toys for the horse you are just trying to give the horse the minimal care it needs. shelter, food, water, hooves, and deworming.

i know i would not be able to resist picking out the hooves once or twice a week, maybe running a brush thru its tail or whatever. But that is something i would just do and suck it up and not complain about. I would stop riding the horse. you really arent entitled to this horse, even though you believe you are doing the best for it. the owners arent comfortable and you just dont need to be doing it. 

good luck


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

KSL said:


> My parents own the property. We live on a ranch, so they own the barn and such. I bought an acre from them about 1/2 mile from their home but still on their land and built a house. I have full acess to the ranch though, obviously. They are living with me right now though because they are upgrading their house. But, technically, it is there barn and land.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


So basically, you work for your parents and own exactly squat except for the half acre your house sits on. Which means, they're doing YOU a favor by providing employment so you can play with the horses all day.

I'm now beginning to see what the real problem is, and it's not the in-laws. You sound someone who is used to getting what you want.

The horse ISN'T yours, nor are the land and barn where he lives. Which also means YOUR horses are living rent free on someone else's property. Seems to me, caring for one additional horse while yours live there free, is a darned good deal.

Bottom line, YOU agreed to care for the horse, and are now throwing a tantrum because it's been a lot less temporary than you thought it would be.


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

Speed Racer said:


> So basically, you work for your parents and own exactly squat except for the half acre your house sits on. Which means, they're doing YOU a favor by providing employment so you can play with the horses all day.
> 
> I'm now beginning to see what the real problem is, and it's not the in-laws. You sound someone who is used to getting what you want.
> 
> ...


 I own my own, very successful business, from home. But thanks for trying to act like you know me and my situation. Sadly, I live close to my parents because my dad has a terminal illness and needs extra care for his own health as well as the ranch, and horses are a large part of that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WickedNag (Sep 7, 2010)

I board my horses cheaply on a private farm, due to my health do not ride them as much as I would like. I would be livid if anyone at the farm used my tack or rode my horse. 

They are paying for their portion of the hay and doing what your parents asked. If the horse needs to be dewormed, I would stay on top of that as they are only infesting your pasture. Cheap fix is to deworm on a rotation just as you do your own. The rest let go


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

You ask for advice and we give you our honest opinions on what we would do. You dont like what everyone has to say so you make the statement that you're going to keep doing what you've been doing. So I ask, what was the point of this thread? You just felt like wasting everyone's time because you're a little cranky about taking care of your Aunt's horse? If you dont like it, stop taking care of the horse. If you continue to take care of the horse, don't come on here to complain about it if you're not going to do anything to change it. Put your big girl panties on, make a decision, and stick with it.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

wetrain17 said:


> You ask for advice and we give you our honest opinions on what we would do. You dont like what everyone has to say so you make the statement that you're going to keep doing what you've been doing. So I ask, what was the point of this thread? You just felt like wasting everyone's time because you're a little cranky about taking care of your Aunt's horse? If you dont like it, stop taking care of the horse. If you continue to take care of the horse, don't come on here to complain about it if you're not going to do anything to change it. Put your big girl panties on, make a decision, and stick with it.


Excuse me-but because the OP didn't do what YOU may have thought they are wrong in even posting? More than one option has been given here, just in case you didn't read them. Keeping the peace was among them, some of us get that, as well as some of us get not watching a horse sit around skinny, wormy with bad feet. I think the decision IS made, and the OP will stick to it.

You also had the choice to read/not read, as well as post/not post. No need to take offense because someone doesn't happen to think your idea is the be all end all. Just saying.:wink:


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

I mostly wanted opinions on contracts/what I should and shouldn't worry with and maybe easier ways to bring it up to the family. Just because I don't want to kick the horse out and cause a division in the family or let it sit in the pasture uncared for doesn't mean I'm selfish or a bad person or a spoiled brat. 

Just because I am not doing what YOU think I should do does not mean this thread was unhelpful. I got some ideas of what I should continue doing for the horse, keeping receipts and some ideas for a contract of some kind in the future.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

I'm just merely stating that if she isn't going to change anything about her situation, then she doenst have a right to complain about it. That is the same as hearing someone complain day in and out about their job and never look for a new one. Or someone who complains that their house is dirty, but they dont take the time to clean it. I suppose Im just tired of hearing everyone's problems and they dont do anything to change the situation and yet they still sit there and complain about it (and no, not just on here). 

I told her to make a decision, whatever that may be, but learn to accept it. If you dont like it, change it. That simple.


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

KSL said:


> He isn't neglected enough for animal control to do anything. *He is fat and happy, because of me.*
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 Isnt this the horse thats been shedding worms for 3 months?
A horse that has so many worms that they're coming out in his poo is unlikely to be happy and in the best interest of your other horses who are going to be infected too you should have been giving this attention as a priority


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## Celeste (Jul 3, 2011)

The biggest issue is that you have is that your own horses are in a life threatening situation because you don't want to invest 3 bucks in a tube of wormer. Your horses could die from colic secondary to small strongyles. 

Jeffers® Ivermectin Paste


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

KSL said:


> I own my own, very successful business, from home. But thanks for trying to act like you know me and my situation. Sadly, I live close to my parents because my dad has a terminal illness and needs extra care for his own health as well as the ranch, and horses are a large part of that.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



You have a successful home based business? How does that tie in with working with horses every day and riding the range, since you stated in another thread _that's_ what you do?

Your story keeps changing, and you add and subtract whatever you please to try and make yourself look better. 

Bottom line, you live on your _parents'_ property and your horses are boarded in _their _barn. _You_ agreed to care for your aunt's horse but are now having a hissy fit because it's been longer than you deem appropriate.

I'll bet all the money you're yapping about having to spend on your aunt's horse doesn't come out of your pocket, either. Most likely it comes out of your parents'.


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## loveduffy (Dec 22, 2011)

I use to board at a do it yourself barn and there was a horse that the owner did not care for so the barn kept the horse fed and happy I have no regress spending the money on the old man he dead happy


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

KSL said:


> And yes, I am entitled to ride him because 1) he is at my house 2)I feed him, water him, hay him, do everything for him 3) They wouldn't have the horse if I didn't agree to let it stay here.


 
You are so NOT entitled to ride him because he is at your house.

If you are so huffed up, give them written notice to remove the horse from your property.


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

Celeste said:


> The biggest issue is that you have is that your own horses are in a life threatening situation because you don't want to invest 3 bucks in a tube of wormer. Your horses could die from colic secondary to small strongyles.
> 
> Jeffers® Ivermectin Paste


I worm my horses regularly and get them wormed by the vet.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Celeste (Jul 3, 2011)

It doesn't matter if you worm your horses as long as you have a horse that is not being treated in the pasture with them. It is the immature stages of small strongyles that kill horses. Please include the "outcast" horse in your worming schedule. If you are doing so, you need to use a different product because it is not working.


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

Celeste said:


> It doesn't matter if you worm your horses as long as you have a horse that is not being treated in the pasture with them. It is the immature stages of small strongyles that kill horses. Please include the "outcast" horse in your worming schedule. If you are doing so, you need to use a different product because it is not working.


I have a said MULTIPLE times I worm him at home with my horses but I CANNOT take him to the vet and foot his vet bill. 

Plus, that is the owners responsibility, not mine. I can only do so much. 

Also, every penny from the horses comes out of my own pocket. Not my parents. I actually have to help my parents with medical bills sometimes as well. So, again... You know nothing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

And a tube of wormer isn't going to get rid of all his health problems that he has. 

He has also picked up an awful cough and wheeze. The owners say it's allergies and he gets them every year. But, he hasn't coughed the 5 years or so he has been with us.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

KSL said:


> I worm my horses regularly and get them wormed by the vet.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 Why would you use a vet to worm your horses?
If one horse has such severe worms then they are all constantly reinfecting and you have a major problem
A wormer costs a few $'s and leaving one horse unwormed for that small amount is negligent
I would imagine that horse also has the side effects of that many worms - anaemia and stomach ulcers which means your own horses may also be suffering
You shouldn't be riding this horse at all - it isnt healthy enough to be worked.
You say you have a good business, you are likely keeping your horses rent free, I have a feeling that part of the agreement for keeping your horses like this is that you take full care of your aunts horse and you cant be bothered to do it properly and you feel that you also have the god given right to ride it when you feel like it
No excuses.


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## Chiilaa (Aug 12, 2010)

KSL said:


> Plus, that is the owners responsibility, not mine.


So is riding the horse...


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

jaydee said:


> Why would you use a vet to worm your horses?
> If one horse has such severe worms then they are all constantly reinfecting and you have a major problem
> A wormer costs a few $'s and leaving one horse unwormed for that small amount is negligent
> I would imagine that horse also has the side effects of that many worms - anaemia and stomach ulcers which means your own horses may also be suffering
> ...


Obviously you haven't read this whole thread. Go back and read. Also, that horse will be ridden about 50 miles in a few months, healthy or not. Sad.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Celeste (Jul 3, 2011)

I am a vet, and I don't tube worm my horses. There is no real reason to. The same drugs are in the paste wormers that are in the tubes. Chances are, you are using something that the worms are resistant to. 
Many parasites are totally resistant to benzamidazole anthelmintics. 
I would use pyrantel pamoate today and ivermectin in a week. Then rotate monthly between these two. And take a sample of the wormy stool to your vet. Maybe it is just tapeworms. If so, they won't kill your horse most likely.


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

Chiilaa said:


> So is riding the horse...


Okay. So he should be ridden once a year for 40-60 miles all in a single 3 day weekend. I don't think so. As I've said about 5 times, the owners don't mind me riding before the long trail ride they do but think that any other time is unacceptable. If they took care of their horse (either by paying for his care or physically caring for him) this wouldn't be an issue. I put money into this horse all year around, try my best to get him ready for a long ride (without proper hoof care or shoes) and then they have the nerve to say I can't mess with him. No. Just , no.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

Celeste said:


> I am a vet, and I don't tube worm my horses. There is no real reason to. The same drugs are in the paste wormers that are in the tubes. Chances are, you are using something that the worms are resistant to.
> Many parasites are totally resistant to benzamidazole anthelmintics.
> I would use pyrantel pamoate today and ivermectin in a week. Then rotate monthly between these two. And take a sample of the wormy stool to your vet. Maybe it is just tapeworms. If so, they won't kill your horse most likely.


 I do this with my horses. Maybe ill forward this to the owners.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

KSL said:


> Obviously you haven't read this whole thread. Go back and read. Also, that horse will be ridden about 50 miles in a few months, healthy or not. Sad.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 I have read most of this thread actually - though you change direction enough times to confuse anyone
What is SAD? The fact that they ride this horse 50 miles in a few months or the fact that you feel its OK to ride this (unhealthy) horse whenever you want too?
If I felt that I had the right to ride a horse that was on my property then I would also feel that I had the obligation to take full responsibility for its welfare. It would not be in the state this horse is in on my watch.
You seem to want your cake and eat it.


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## Celeste (Jul 3, 2011)

I think that you have a serious communication problem with these people. You need to sit down and have a long talk.


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

jaydee said:


> I have read most of this thread actually - though you change direction enough times to confuse anyone
> What is SAD? The fact that they ride this horse 50 miles in a few months or the fact that you feel its OK to ride this (unhealthy) horse whenever you want too?
> If I felt that I had the right to ride a horse that was on my property then I would also feel that I had the obligation to take full responsibility for its welfare. It would not be in the state this horse is in on my watch.
> You seem to want your cake and eat it.


They ride in 50 miles in THREE DAYS IN A ROW. AND ASK ME TO GET HIM READY FOR THAT.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chiilaa (Aug 12, 2010)

KSL said:


> Okay. So he should be ridden once a year for 40-60 miles all in a single 3 day weekend. I don't think so. As I've said about 5 times, the owners don't mind me riding before the long trail ride they do but think that any other time is unacceptable. If they took care of their horse (either by paying for his care or physically caring for him) this wouldn't be an issue. I put money into this horse all year around, try my best to get him ready for a long ride (without proper hoof care or shoes) and then they have the nerve to say I can't mess with him. No. Just , no.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The fitness of the horse to ride is the owner's issue. You getting their horse fit is merely enabling them. This time next year, it will be another 50 mile ride, and you will be complaining about these exact issues. Because nothing will change while you post here and snark about how they don't pay for this or that. Stop paying for it yourself, let the people responsible take responsibility. That is your parents (the owners of the land) and the owner of the horse. Either that, or get used to being used, and harden up. Complaining about it won't change it either way.


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

Last time he took this 50 mile ride he could not WALK for a week, had two nails or screws stuck in his feet which caused abseses and I was the one who paid to fix all that and took the time to care for him. 

The owners actually said "if he dies, he dies. We will get a new one" when I brought it up that he needed care.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Celeste (Jul 3, 2011)

If they are destroying his feet, put shoes on him. Expense should not be a problem for you from what you have said.


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## xJumperx (Feb 19, 2012)

I'm going to be really, really blunt here. You're not going to like it, but I'm kind of sick of seeing this thread. Because this is a problem you won't let anyone help you with, all you want to do is be sarcastic and sny. So sit down and listen to the information people are giving you. 

1 - You need to write up a contract. For many different reasons. First of all, it will stop these people that are walking all over you and taking advantage of you. Yes, that's their problem, but you are enabling it to happen. This won't upset family matters at all. Just say for legal matters, you'd like to set up a contract that organizes responsibilities of the horse. Just organizing. That's it. 

If you don't want them paying a monthly board, then they need to be billed for all the other expenses. You need to stop caring about upseting the family about this. They will get over it, and if they are adults, they will completely understand. Don't let them not pay - remind them of their bill if it gets high, and remind them often. If they refuse to pay, tell them the horse will be sold. They'll pay. And if they don't, sell the horse. Yea, they will be furious with you, and that portion of the family might hate you for a while, but it kind of sounds like you already hate them. So who cares?

2 - You are going to have to stop riding the horse. Period. It is their problem if the horse goes nuts. It is their problem if the horse breaks down over the weekend. I know it will be painful for you to watch, and it will be hard to hold back - but these people need to realize that they don't need a horse. Maybe after they see the shape of the horse, and he bucks princess off a few times, they will give up. It sounds like she doesn't really love him anyway - a good fall could be icing on the cake. 

3 - You all just need to talk. Just sit down with them and talk. Tell them about these expenses that are being put on you. Tell them about how bad the horse looks. Tell them about lessons for the little girl that she could go to, or mention maybe leasing a different horse. Don't get defensive - just make suggestions. LISTEN to what the other people have to say, and comment accordingly. 

This really isn't a big problem. You're blowing it up to be this huge catastrophe, but it's all a very easy fix. By you sitting on the other end tellin gpeople they don't know what they are talking about, and telling them to get off your thread, you are just denying amazingly helpful comments. It's not that hard to talk to someone, and it's not hard to carry out the actions we've listed. If you've just posted this thread to rant, then stop shooting people down for giving you advice. You're being counterproductive. Just chill out and try to fix this. You can do it.


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

That's great advice, xjumperx, but unfortunately the OP can't really follow through with any of it (other than to stop riding the horses, which she's said she won't do) because she does not own the ranch this horse is kept on. Her parents own the ranch, and she apparently spends all day long in the saddle (bitless, of course!) working on some mysterious (very successful) business venture of her own. Because of this fantastic mystery job (that utilizes riding horses bitless), she has been able to afford a whole half acre of her family's farm on which to put a house (trailer?). The job has also given her the confidence to demand that she be allowed to ride (bitless?) other people's horses... family members that have made a deal *with her parents* to keep their horse on their property for free.

Does that about sum it up?


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## WickedNag (Sep 7, 2010)

Again and my last post... not your horse leave it alone! I would keep in on a deworming schedule just as I do my own, to keep from my horses from being infested with worms. The rest is up to your parents and your aunt. 

As far as health and medical expenses... have your folks fill out a charity form if they can not afford they medical expenses. I have severe health issues and a $3000 deductible before my insurance even kicks in. I don't ask my kids for help...if your folks need that much help maybe it is time to sell the ranch and move to town.


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## xJumperx (Feb 19, 2012)

Nike... I love you xD

Haha, Love the other thread tye in  I just gave up on that thread! 
I am thinking you may be kidding around, but in all reality, she could still do all that is mentioned. 
I'm a minor. We used to board my dad's boss's horse here on our property. Dad origionally just told ... Mr. B to pay us $200 a month, and we'd take care of him. I polietly told him that this was terrible. If there were outragous vet bills, farrier bills, dentist bills ... we technically were required to pay them. We'd loose money hand over fist, and we are NOT rich. So *I* typed up the contract, *I* made all the rules, and *I* sat down with Mr. B and gave him the contract, and talked it over how things should go. I'm not asking for the OP to do any more than this. And I was only 13 when I did all that. That was some years ago, and Mr. B has actually sold the horse now, (Never visited/did anything with the horse, didn't want to pay anymore.) but that isn't the point.


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## KatRocks (Jul 25, 2012)

Wow. This thread is embarrassing. I thought we all are adults. There's no reason to insult the OP, its immature and uncalled for. If you don't agree with a thread of have nothing constructive to say don't post. Save yourself the embarssement and time. She asked for advice, and was given plenty. The decision is up to her what she does with this horse. Honestly, get of your high horses and keep the insults and snarky comments to yourself. This is an adult fourm and as a member I would hope to see others respect that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

Yes thank you.. Totally agree. I did get some good advice and have already told everyone what I am going to do. Insulting me and my intelligence gets no one anywhere honestly. 

Thanks to those who genuinely helped and understood the situation. I'm working on a contract.


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## Sahara (Jul 23, 2010)

Working on a contract for what? Nothing is yours. The barn isn't yours. The land isn't yours. The horse isn't yours. The responsibility isn't yours. You have nothing to write a contract on. You are basically free labor for your parents and your aunt. The end. 

If you want to take care of the horse out of your pocket, that is up to you. They are not obligated to repay you a single solitary penny.


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## KSL (Oct 4, 2012)

Sahara said:


> Working on a contract for what? Nothing is yours. The barn isn't yours. The land isn't yours. The horse isn't yours. The responsibility isn't yours. You have nothing to write a contract on. You are basically free labor for your parents and your aunt. The end.
> 
> If you want to take care of the horse out of your pocket, that is up to you. They are not obligated to repay you a single solitary penny.


That is your opinion, but you don't know my situation, so thanks but no thanks. I won't take your opinion or advice. 

If I didn't take care of the horse out of my pocket, he would be dead right now. Is that something you want? Nice.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Sahara said:


> Working on a contract for what? Nothing is yours. The barn isn't yours. The land isn't yours. The horse isn't yours. The responsibility isn't yours. You have nothing to write a contract on. You are basically free labor for your parents and your aunt. The end.
> 
> If you want to take care of the horse out of your pocket, that is up to you. They are not obligated to repay you a single solitary penny. So shut up already.


Did it even occur to you that perhaps she is drawing up a contract that will be between her parents and the owner of the horse? She didn't say, you didn't ask, just ASSumed.:wink:


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## corgi (Nov 3, 2009)

I think what is getting lost in all of this is that there is a horse that has neglectful owners. I say they are neglectful, not because they are not grooming their horse or not riding it...but because they are not interested in having its feet done, having it wormed or any other routine maintenance that horses should have done.

I think the OP approached this thread the wrong way when she talked about them being upset that she rode their horse. I agree with everyone that says she has no right to ride the horse when she feels like it.

The issue is that there is a horse, that if she does not pay for basic care, out of her own pocket, the horse will suffer. And since she is on the property, she would have to watch the horse suffer. So many people are telling her to stop doing anything with the horse...to just let the horse go without care.

I don't think very many of us would be able to do that.

I believe the OP was a little over dramatic in her initial post and I am guessing she wishes she had worded her complaint differently. But that doesn't change the fact that she claims she has taken on full financial responsibility for the horse and has grown tired of being the only one involved that cares.


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## Bellasmom (Jun 22, 2011)

Oh dear.....I've read this whole thing and that's pretty much my input. IMO, this will end badly. OP's decision as to whether it will end badly sooner rather than later. Good luck.


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## rookie (May 14, 2012)

I think a contract is a good place to start. I would say that since family is well tricky sometimes that its a good idea to make sure that everyone on the property is in agreement on what the terms of the contract are. It also might be a good idea to make sure its a legal contract. I know that staples sells some not notified (you would need a lawyer for that) but "professional" contracts. It might be worth it to pick one up just for the template. It also might be good to meet with an lawyer to ensure that the contract would stand up in court. 

I would also say speaking to a lawyer about what happens to the property in general would be a good idea. This is more because it sounds like your father is in a bad situation and if he ends up with large hospital bills you could end up loosing the property. It would also be a good idea to have an idea about what happens if your parents pass away. I am not saying this to be morbid but because its an under considered element of animal care. I know my siblings and parents know who is the executor of their will. This includes information not only what happens to the property but what happens to the animals on that property. Its a good thing to have written down and certified by a lawyer regardless of your parents health.


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## Sahara (Jul 23, 2010)

I don't even believe the OP anymore. The horse is fat and happy one second, healthy enough to be ridden. The next minute it is on death's door with it's coughing and wheezing.

If this were my horse and I had an agreement with my sister to keep it on her land, I would be sick to death of a busy-body niece who can't mind her own business. I wouldn't want that niece within 100 yards of my horse. Especially if she doesn't know what a snaffle bit is, but claims to train horses.


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## ~*~anebel~*~ (Aug 21, 2008)

Sahara said:


> I don't even believe the OP anymore. The horse is fat and happy one second, healthy enough to be ridden. The next minute it is on death's door with it's coughing and wheezing
> 
> If this were my horse and I had an agreement with my sister to keep it on her land, I would be sick to death of a busy-body niece who can't mind her own business. I wouldn't want that niece within 100 yards of my horse. Especially if she doesn't know what a snaffle bit is, but claims to train horses.


And then rides the horse when it pleases her.

This story is so full of holes. Dewormer is $3 a tube, but she wont buy that and instead gets the horse's fee trimmed ($25++) when a wormy horse is far more detrimental to herd health than something with chipped feet.

I will say this again. Horses are perfectly happy to hang out in a field being occasionally wormed or trimmed and having nothing else done with them. Mine actually might prefer it although I might have a Brumby on my hands after a while.
The fact that the horse is "wild" and "unridable" after not being ridden for a while is not a concern of anyone's except the person riding it. Don't want it to be a concern of yours? Don't ride it. The kid will hop on, the horse will buck the kid off, the parents will sell the horse - everyone is happy.

Everyone has boarded, or boarded with someone that gives less of a poop what they do with their horses. I'm at the barn every day, and one of the few people at my barn that is. Does that mean everyone else neglects their horses? No! One girl left for a YEAR to go to NZ and the barn took care of the horse. She wasn't ridden, or brushed every day, or read her "Fairytale Magic Ponies" story book every night and she LIVED! The girl paid to have the feet done, the horse wormed, etc.. and the BO gladly performed said, paid for, services. This happens every day on planet Earth. Not brushing a horse or seeing it only a few times a year is not neglect.


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## Celeste (Jul 3, 2011)

I don't brush my horse every day. She doesn't care.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Celeste said:


> I don't brush my horse every day. She doesn't care.


Ugh, if not brushing is neglect, then I guess I need to be turned into AC! :wink:

Mine get the crud knocked off them every so often, but with a full time job, 5 acre farmette, 3 horses, 1 dog and assorted barn cats to care for, I don't have time to play Pretty Princess Poneh with mine unless I'm riding. Which I don't do every day, since I get up before the sun and generally don't get home from work before sundown.


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

corgi said:


> I think what is getting lost in all of this is that there is a horse that has neglectful owners. I say they are neglectful, not because they are not grooming their horse or not riding it...but because they are not interested in having its feet done, having it wormed or any other routine maintenance that horses should have done.
> 
> I think the OP approached this thread the wrong way when she talked about them being upset that she rode their horse. I agree with everyone that says she has no right to ride the horse when she feels like it.
> 
> ...


I agree, to an extent.

I think a lot of what's rubbed people the wrong way is that the OP feels entitled to ride the horse because she's providing care that the owner hasn't asked for. Does the horse need the care? Absolutely! Is it a great thing that the OP is providing the care? You betcha! Does that give the OP the right to ride the horse? Nope.

I also think the OP is confused about what "basic care" should include. Unless this horse is arthritic and requires regular riding to be sound, riding is NOT something that's required. Horses are not "required" to be ridden or even worked on a regular basis. The horse should be fed, watered, sheltered, wormed/vaccinated and have its feet done.

Will the horse get unruly under saddle if not worked regularly? Quite possibly. THEN perhaps the OP's rellies will be willing to PAY her for training/exercising the horse (or in the very least allow it in exchange for the care she provides). Until then, continue to do a good deed by feeding/caring for the horse and leave it at that. A contract shoved under the noses of relatives (even with the best of intentions) is just going to create sour feelings. A contract will not FORCE them to allow the OP to ride the horse.


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## KatRocks (Jul 25, 2012)

OP, I would close this thread.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

OH MY GOD you are all so mean.

KSL, Well Bless your heart, your mother must be so proud as you deal with all this, you are of course entitled to your opinion, but once you post on a forum, you are going to get a flood of people coming on and offering all sorts of advice, because they want to help, misguided I know.

Apart from that, worm the horse, because not doing so affects the health of your herd, the rest of it, either wash your hands and walk away, put up shut up and deal with it, or have a family conference and agree the way forward.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

KatRocks said:


> OP, I would close this thread.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


OP doesn't have that option. I don't know any BB that allows a member to close their own threads.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

OP-I am getting really...ummmm...confused. Maybe you could help me understand. How many horses do you have? I thought you said somewhere here you had 3-4, plus this one.....then there are a few threads all with horses you supposedly have gotten (Rescued, been given, etc) ALL of them in the last few weeks. I am beginning to see exactly why so many are on the train going ANYWHERE but with you. Yours seems to be seriously off track. Would you like to tell us what is real? I WAS with you, but......you really are a bit delusional, IMO. All horses "should not, could not, would not" be made to ride without a bit. To do so is asking for trouble. ANY horse can have a brain fart. I don't give a crap how perfect you or they are!

Do you ride all these rescues without a bit too? THat would be seriously foolish. You seriously expect us to believe all the riding you do, and experience you supposedly have and don't know what a simple eggbutt snaffle is?


BTW-I did not get that OP was feeling "entitled" to ride the horse at all-I think she does it because she somehow feels it is necessary to keep the horse ready for that once a year 50 mile ride thing for the cousin. BUT, as difficult as it will be to watch-yeah, I think OP should stop riding the horse. Her 4 hours a day should be well taken up with the growing number of horses that seem to be finding their way into her pasture.........;-)


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

franknbeans said:


> OP-I am getting really...ummmm...confused. Maybe you could help me understand. How many horses do you have? I thought you said somewhere here you had 3-4, plus this one.....then there are a few threads all with horses you supposedly have gotten (Rescued, been given, etc) ALL of them in the last few weeks. I am beginning to see exactly why so many are on the train going ANYWHERE but with you. Yours seems to be seriously off track. Would you like to tell us what is real? I WAS with you, but......you really are a bit delusional, IMO. All horses "should not, could not, would not" be made to ride without a bit. To do so is asking for trouble. ANY horse can have a brain fart. I don't give a crap how perfect you or they are!
> 
> Do you ride all these rescues without a bit too? THat would be seriously foolish. You seriously expect us to believe all the riding you do, and experience you supposedly have and don't know what a simple eggbutt snaffle is?
> 
> ...


I have to say that life is nicer if you look for the best in people & trust in their honesty but sometimes it becomes a struggle and I started to struggle early on with this one and the other threads posted by the OP


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

wetrain17 said:


> I'm just merely stating that if she isn't going to change anything about her situation, then she doenst have a right to complain about it. That is the same as hearing someone complain day in and out about their job and never look for a new one. Or someone who complains that their house is dirty, but they dont take the time to clean it. I suppose Im just tired of hearing everyone's problems and they dont do anything to change the situation and yet they still sit there and complain about it (and no, not just on here).
> 
> I told her to make a decision, whatever that may be, but learn to accept it. If you dont like it, change it. That simple.


I think the OP started the thread in many ways as a "rant". This forum is full of them. It's acceptable to rant, even when you know that you'll recieve advice, and even when you may not have any intention of changing anything.

The advice about he conracts seems good and has received some consideration by the OP. That's what I would have advised.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

There has been a lot of snark , going both directions here. a long ways from the "friendly and helpful" that it shows is our goals, every time you open the forum.


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