# Scared of my horse



## Kristi Harms (Jun 22, 2019)

I need some advice. I have a 9 yr old appy gelding. When I bought him we rode a few times but then winter came and he had some time off. In the spring he started spooking and I started jumping off because I am scared due to having some injuries from other horses. We sent him for a month refresher and he did great. 

I’m still very nervous and he will still spook on the ground, which makes me get worked up. I can’t afford to take many lessons and I really don’t want to sell him.

How do I regain my confidence? How do I make him into the trail horse I want? Please help


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## mmshiro (May 3, 2017)

Well, that's going to be tricky, because you now taught him how to terminate the ride on his terms. Moreover, your being nervous does nothing to make him less nervous. I am saying this without being facetious or with intent to troll: Try a moderate amount of alcohol or a Xanax before riding. Your horse needs you to be a leader. You cannot afford to abandon him when he is scared - that's exactly when you need to be in the saddle to show him how to get to safety.


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## HuntleyHorse (Jan 14, 2019)

Learn ground work? There’s so many videos on the internet that you might be able to get some help from. Work on desensitizing as a start. Also learn to disengage hind quarters. It’s a great tool to redirect a spooked horse as well as so many other things.


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## HuntleyHorse (Jan 14, 2019)

And disengagement is a better habit to have than to just pull back on the reins in the event you get nervous or he is reactive.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Learning to work your horse on the ground can do a lot to increase your confidence in the horse, in general, and his attention to you, too.


Keeping him busy, working and focussed on YOU is the key to keeping him from spooking. It takes a great deal of courage to ride when your body is screaming in fear. If you really feel your life and health are in danger, then of course, get off. But, there is often a moment where you can change things.


It's like this; he gets worried about something. If you are paying attention, you will feel it through his body. Here is you chance! at that moment, you need to not abandon him. That means, you need to stay there and BE HIS ROCK. You need to tell him to do something!. Give him something to attach to, to lean on. Tell him to go forward, or to circle one direction, or to trot off to the right, or to even just give to the bit. But, above all, put a leg on him and get him to do something that you are asking BEFORE he decides to do things his way. 



What usually happens is when we feel our horse is scared, we sort of freeze, hoping not to set the horse off into a full out spin, or bolt, or dodge. We might take up the rein, or we might grip up, but we don't TELL the horse anything. He forgets we are on board, and he takes care of himself the best way he can.


When you ride him, in the arena or on the trail, keep him busy doing things, so he never forgets you are on board.


Also, get his eyes checked by the vet. Appy's are notorious victims of eye troubles, and bad vision can really make a horse very spooky.


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## mmshiro (May 3, 2017)

tinyliny said:


> It takes a great deal of courage to ride when your body is screaming in fear.


See, this is something I don't understand about certain equestrians. Why take on a challenge that you don't feel you are equipped to handle? No mountain climber ever looks at a wall that's out of their league in terms of technical level and says, "I'm probably going to get in serious trouble on this climb, and I feel death staring me in the face, but I'm already here and I'm not about to turn around. I'm not a quitter!" People with horses say stuff like this ALL THE TIME!

If you have a horse that spooks, you'll get spooks. You either know you can handle them, or you shouldn't be riding such a horse *yet*. The Arabian I ride as my "lesson" horse is a walking spook as soon as we leave the arena: the head goes up, the stride shortens, he snorts, he goes sideways left and right as he makes a berth around everything that worries him. ( @bsms will be happy to hear that, based on the story he shared a few times, he gets to pick his own path around scary things, as long as the general direction is forward, and it works well for us.) He's entitled to that, because he's just learning to be on the trails. The point is that I wouldn't have _chosen_ to be on this horse this time last year, say - it simply took a lot of riding on not-nervous and less-nervous horses to get my skills and confidence to this point. And I ride him because there is no feeling like, 20 minutes into the ride, his head lowering, his stride getting longer, his just looking around at the scenery or carefully picking his steps between rocks and roots - and stop worrying. 

Keeping a horse busy when he gets _visibly_ nervous is all well and good, but there's always going to be that "thing" that jumps out from the bushes (bird, squirrel) or that he suddenly catches with the corner of his eyes as you pass a hedge. You were just walking along peacefully and without a worry, and suddenly you find yourself in the middle of a canter. (Just as a purely...ahem..._hypothetical_ scenario.) If you ride a horse like that, and you spend your time anticipating these things, being tentative and fearful, you'll actually be asking for them.


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## horselovinguy (Oct 1, 2013)

Groundwork will help some, just being in close proximity and working together is a step in the right direction.
The horse often takes their behavior cues from their human...
Be nervous and jumpy, the horse then senses a reason to be so and then is too...
Be calm and sure of yourself, the horse then settles and takes their cue from you too...acting with quiet, poise and behaved...

You may spend the best money though by taking a few good lessons together so you learn to work together under eyes trained to see, to interact and to be one-step ahead of your next motion keeping you focused and safe learning together...
Its great the horse was sent for a refresher and came home sharp...
Now the rider needs the same and the horse also needs to feel that confident rider astride and at their side when working on the ground.
:runninghorse2:...


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

mmshiro are we sure she is over 18? 



Good advice given by the previous users. Not much to add. Do you have someone that would be comfortable on your horse and has the skills to ride out the spooks? Would they have a good, solid trail horse you could ride and go out together to get your boy up to speed again and help you gain some confidence back?

@Kristi Harms "We sent him for a month refresher and *he did great*. 

*I’m still very nervous and he will still spook on the ground*, which makes me get worked up. I can’t afford to take many lessons and I really don’t want to sell him." 



To me this says that it is primarily your fears so conquering them is where your focus should be. Getting someone, be it a trainer or friend with experience, to help you through ground work exercises can also help you. Is he spooking while you are leading to and from the pasture/barn? Is it during a time you are actively "working" him?


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

If you can't ride him out with confidence, try leading him out. If walking a horse is what you can do now, accept it and build on it later.

There is a difference between jumping off and directing the horse to where he feels safe and dismounting. One is abandoning ship. The other is not only physically much safer, but lets the horse know you will take care of him.

I'll echo and endorse what @mmshiro said. We are often afraid around horses because we know inside we don't have the tools to handle a situation. I've been driving cars for 40+ years, but if you dropped me in the middle of the Indy 500 I'd be scared. When I started riding, and started by riding a spooky horse, people would tell me to just be confident. Which is fine for someone who has ridden for 20 years, but what about when you know inside you have no reason to be confident?

Sometimes, fear is just our bodies telling us what our mind doesn't want to admit - we are not up to the task ahead. So...if all you feel you can handle right now is riding in a pasture, ride in the pasture. Gain more experience. When YOU are ready, do more. Your horse cannot feel ready until you are ready first.

Denny Emerson - " the only equestrian to have won both an international gold medal in eventing and a Tevis Cup buckle in endurance" - has the credentials to be called a great rider. Jack Le Goff is justifiably called a world-class expert. Writing about horses, Mr Emerson said:



> Le Goff said, "*Boldness comes from confidence. Confidence comes from success. So it is the mission of the trainer to create lots of situations that as much as possible guarantee success.*"...
> 
> ...someone takes a horse out trail riding alone. The horse would be calmer and steadier if he had company, especially quiet company, but the rider says, "He ought to be able to handle this on his own." Or the horse moves around at the mounting block, and the rider says as she yanks him around, "He knows better." Or loading into a trailer. Or being quiet for the farrier. Or accepting being clipped.
> 
> ...


If that is true of horses, why not riders? If A is what you can do, and B feels like a stretch, and C seems impossible, then why not do a lot of A and a little bit of B? Eventually, B becomes what you can do and C feels like a stretch...so you then do a lot of B and once in a while try C.

Walking your horse around on a lead rope is a way to learn his responses. He gains trust in you and you gain trust in him. Easiest "ground work" in the world and it helps. If mounting up and then dismounting is what you feel good with, do some of that. If riding for 5 minutes works, and then you tense up...ride 5 minutes and quit. It will grow. At your pace and at your horse's.

Some other ideas on becoming a better rider:

VS Littauer wrote "Common Sense Horsemanship". It is a long read and he starts by talking about horses think. That is important. Very important. And how they move. And then he writes about one good way to ride - the "Forward Seat". He was a former Russian Cavalry officer and wrote for people who wanted to jump, but this western rider has read and reread his book a dozen times. It is free online here:

https://archive.org/stream/commonsensehorse010454mbp/commonsensehorse010454mbp_djvu.txt

https://archive.org/details/commonsensehorse010454mbp/page/n10

Amazon sells it for under $20:

https://www.amazon.com/Common-Sense...+Horsemanship&qid=1561211794&s=gateway&sr=8-2

On the western side...Larry Trocha has a DVD course for basic western riding for $50. Two hours.

https://www.horsetrainingvideos.com/westernriding.htm

He also has a lot of YouTube videos free. I find him uncommonly honest and pretty level headed. I've heard him start a video with 'I just screwed this up big time and want to record this now while it is fresh in my mind so you won't'...not something you hear trainers say very often! I got more help from him than from the local person I paid $30/hour for lessons. And if spending $100 and a few hours reading and thinking sounds like a lot, think about the deductible on your health insurance...:smile:

Good luck. Do what you can and eventually do a bit more.


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## Cedar & Salty (Jul 6, 2018)

I own and ride a horse with distinct shifts in personality -- he can be very, very calm, brave and connected to me, or he can be edgy, defensive, spooky and unable to connect. I cannot always understand WHY he is one way or the other at a given time, but I know which he will be before I pull him out of his stall.

I don't know his history, but several professional trainers have speculated that he has been over pressured, over trained and has been punished harshly (spurred, ran hard in the round pen, drilled endlessly with punitive pressure) in the past. Vet, chiro, tack, etc have been addressed by professionals. He is more horse than I would prefer to own and ride, but I am committed to providing him a permanent home, as he would be at very high risk of ending up on a kill truck to Mexico if I sold him down the line due to his history of bucking and having an eye removed.

He has hurt me twice -- once bucking while riding, and once wheeling away from me on the ground. I can be anxious, but my emotions with him can also tip over into fear. He is ridiculously responsive to my emotions, and we can send each other spiralling out of control on bad days. I love him, but would honestly sell him to a more suitable owner/rider if I thought I could guarantee he would be treated with kindness and be safe for the rest of his life. 

I have learned that when he is not his better self, or when I am struggling with fear or anxiety, I have absolutely no business getting on him. I will disagree with others who say not to get off when you are scared. Your safety is more important in the long run. I will jump off Salty if I feel he is disconnected and escalating to blow up. When he is in that state, he is not learning anything -- he is reacting to fear with his most primitive brain. His fear and defensiveness are not disrespect or manipulation, and it's important to know the difference. 

My advice is to pay an experienced pro trainer to come out and evaluate your horse and give you some advice on how to better approach him and respond to his behaviors. All horses are not the same and require different approaches. Fear is not disrespect and requires a different approach. Laziness is not the same as not understanding what you want, and requires a different technique. I recently attended a 3 day Mark Langley clinic and learned the importance of connecting to my horse and being able to redirect it's thoughts back to me, and it is simple and and amazing. I can feel a distinct difference with both of my horses when they are connected to me with their thoughts and when they are not. 

I would recommend checking out Mark's website and videos at Equineability.aus, and reading Mark Rashid's books. Ross Jacobs also writes a lot about this topic.

Even a calm, trained horse cannot connect to a fearful, frustrated, anxious rider. You both need some professional help -- a good clinician or pro trainer with the right skills and philosophy to get things turned around. The longer you fumble around in fear and frustration by yourself, the bigger your problem is going to get.

Good luck, and stay safe. Listen to your intuition and do not let your ego push you into unsafe situations with your horse. Every wreck, injury or accident takes away from both of your confidence and ability to be good partners in the future.


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## Avna (Jul 11, 2015)

Along with all the above good advice, I would like to also support you in getting a different horse. Horses are not dogs. Although they need good homes, they do not believe you are their family. There are countless people with horses that are simply not the right horse them at the stage of riding they are at. Most of those horses are not getting ridden, or are learning bad habits that will cause problems in the future wherever they end up.

An experienced confident rider might be able to turn your horse around, but your chances are less good, because _both_ of you get scared easily. ONE of you has to be calm!

The simplest and most direct solution to your situation is to sell your horse and buy one that is a very quiet experienced trail horse.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

There is a great deal to be said for having a horse that is calm, and with more whoa than go.


As to fear, and riding against fear . . some people are always somewhat afraid around horses and riding. But, they enjoy horses, and want to grow through the fear, to become less afraid. It's either ride through the fear, or don't ride at all. So, yeah, they get on even though they are scared. But, of course, it's a matter of judgement. Some horses ARE too much for you, and it's not shame to say 'no' to them.


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

Owning a horse and having lessons at a school is just not the same is it? ;P First off, welcome to horse ownership. Now you know why even some _horse owners_ tell people to NOT get horses haha. Your boy sounds wonderful and smart. He comes back from his training _better._ At least then we know it's a you problem, just as you admitted. 

Imagine a car. A car is a car.... right? It can be driven by anyone trained and hopefully licensed. Horses are not cars. They cannot be driven by just anyone. If you are nervous and get in a car, the car wont spook at a bird. The car wont ask you if it's safe. The car wont speed off home on it's own. But a horse can and will. At least you sit in a car without worrying if the car is gonna come alive kill you. 

Imagine a child. They are scared and unsure. What do children do? Usually run to their parents or responsible adult for support. When a child is nervous it is our responsibility to reassure them isn't it? When a child doesn't know something, it is our responsibility to educate them right? It's the same for horses. You might not realise that your horse is like a child. They are scared - it is YOUR job to reassure him. He is a horse, a child. When you ride him, you are his parent. You can't ask a child to help direct an adult can you? You can't ask a child to help the adult with their fear? It's the adults.. the parents job. If you sit on your horse and pray that he will reassure you - it will never happen. You have to learn to become the parent, the leader. Your horse is a "child" and he needs you to guide him. He is scared, he needs YOU to reassure and soothe him. Your horse doesn't realise how big and scary he can be. He feels tiny and small and needs help navigating the outside world. He needs educating. But you're too scared to educate and reassure him - understandably.

Now the problem lies in the fact that your horse, like any beast, is huge and his tantrums can be *dangerous.* The second thing you need to realise is that discipline is a part of this. By this I mean when your horse does something genuinely naughty, do you correct it? The way your horse sees it is if you can't discipline HIM then you clearly don't have the strength to face the scary monsters on the trail. You can't even "cope" with his antics so in his mind you're incapable of dealing with the monsters on the trail. 

You need to be able to reassure, educate and correct him. Is it better to learn these skills on the ground or in the saddle in the middle of nowhere? Yup, put like that the answer is obvious. On the ground learn how to reassure him. This is just hanging out, taking him for walks and giving him TIME to learn that things wont eat him. Educate him. Teach him tricks - check out youtube. Silly things! Fun things! Lastly, correct him. On the ground does he lead nicely? Does he barge past you? Does he snatch his feet when being picked out? Work on all these things. And by the time you get in the saddle he'll be like "huh, my human actually cares about me. She doesn't just abandon me when I'm scared. _My human actually knows something_. Maybe I can trust my human and if I'm scared I can ask her for help. 

Take a deep breath. Your horse is relying on you far more than you realise. Start on the ground and then work your way up to 5 minute rides. Give yoruself goals and stick to them. Do you ride for 5mins without any faff? GET OFF. Next day, try 10. Next, 15. Lastly... give yourself a plan. When he spooks on the ground, what will you do? When he spooks in the saddle, what will you do? Example for me: mine spooks on the ground - I make sure to stay out of the way and direct her in a circle around me and staying away from her rear. In the saddle I will circle or do a one rein stop. Then when she does spook I am able to react instantly, not having to think "oh, what should I do?!?!?!" and preventing the freeze that would happen otherwise. 

Good luck


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## AnitaAnne (Oct 31, 2010)

Kristi Harms said:


> I need some advice. I have a 9 yr old appy gelding. When I bought him we rode a few times but then winter came and he had some time off. In the spring he started spooking and I started jumping off because I am scared due to having some injuries from other horses. We sent him for a month refresher and he did great.
> 
> I’m still very nervous and he will still spook on the ground, which makes me get worked up. I can’t afford to take many lessons and I really don’t want to sell him.
> 
> How do I regain my confidence? How do I make him into the trail horse I want? Please help


So, several posts with good advice in it, but I think we need a bit more information to understand what all is happening. 

First of all, are you an experienced rider that lost her nerve after some bad falls? A beginner rider that has come off different horses and doesn't really know why or how to stay on? Or somewhere in between. 

Do you board at a stable where other people could ride with you? Having someone to ride with might make both of you calmer. 

Is this your first horse? 

Did the trainer you sent the horse to teach you how to ride the horse? 

Also, it is ok to jump off if you are frightened. If your horse is sensitive, he could easily pick up on your fear and become more jumpy. Once on the ground, you can calm your horse down then remount when ready. 
@Kalraii had some good suggestions, namely try to do everything as slowly and methodically as you can. We do the same thing when we are training a horse, one step at a time.


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## SueC (Feb 22, 2014)

bsms said:


> If you can't ride him out with confidence, try leading him out. If walking a horse is what you can do now, accept it and build on it later.


I second this approach, as a good technique in general (not as a specific prescription for the OP's situation; there's more than one way to skin a cat) - and make sure your horse doesn't come loose or have mechanical advantage over you if he spooks while you are leading him. You've got to be able to hang on to the horse. Ground work first - in familiar environments - before gradually taking him further out of his comfort zone.

One simple trick for hanging on to horses better on the ground in touchy situations: Loop the lead rope over the nose - threaded through the halter - but make sure the metal clip doesn't dig into the jaw; if that happens, use a clipless rope and make an appropriate knot instead (e.g. bowline). I've not had horses get away from me with _this_ arrangement, even when I was a child - here I am below at age 10 with a horse who was notorious for wanting to take off on you when spooked:










The rope trick works as well for me as a stallion bit - make sure the rope sits correctly where the nose band of the halter should be - not so far down that it's on the soft tissues - but not so far up on the face that it confers no mechanical advantage to you either (you can click repeatedly to enlarge the photo to see the relevant detail). Having said that, I'm not afraid of horses and I know where to stand to have mechanical advantage over a horse on a rope. Stand in the wrong spot, and you're water-skiiing on land. An angle of 45 degrees to the horse's head works well, either in front or behind. That way, you make him slightly off-balance if he pulls.

I grew up helping to educate harness horses, as well as saddle training my own riding horses from scratch. For harness horses, led and long-rein work is standard before they are hooked into a cart, and the technique we used was to have a "babysitter" at the horse's head, on the lead, and the other person behind, while teaching long-reining, or later when hooking up the cart etc, until the horse knew what it was supposed to be doing and was confident.

I was usually baby-sitter, but sometimes I was in the cart as well, such as here, as a teenager, with a yearling Standardbred filly called Classic Juliet.










The babysitter technique works very well for initial harness training, and also for the horse's first 10-15 minutes with a rider on its back. Harness to saddle is low drama this way - after 10-15 minutes with a babysitter, I'm generally riding the horse independently in an environment with which it is familiar - in the case of harness horses, I did their initial riding on their home training tracks, and then ventured further out.

The filly above had a colt called Classic Julian after her racing career (birth family's best race mare), and he also raced successfully. When he retired, my husband and I adopted him a couple of years ago. He now lives on our farm, with our other horses and donkeys, and I'm now in the early stages of re-training him to saddle. The main preparation I do is to lead him all over the local trails where he's going to be riding later, so that he's confident in the area. We walk him when we walk our dog, and it's great fun for all of us:













You'll notice he's not in a nose loop in these photos - he doesn't need that anymore, he's so cool and calm now. In the photo below, I've let him off the lead, as I often do when we're back on our own property at the end of an extended walk. He's then free to walk beside, behind or in front of us. As we're his "herd" this is just what he does. Here he is walking ahead of us - and because he's a harness horse, he still feels like he's "in touch" with me there - as this is a normal place for a handler of a harness horse to be.



Often, other horses and donkeys will tag along with us too:



Julian is now such a cool cucumber around our local area, with cattle, machinery, kangaroos, emus, crackling in bushes etc, that I won't have to worry about him spooking when I start riding him on these trails later this year.

Sunsmart was the same - I re-educated him ten years ago, and he's a very relaxed horse to ride - after a rather spooky first half year, when he was first in the "real world" post harness track.






In case you see a resemblance, they are both by The Sunbird Hanover, a son of the famous US pacer Albatross.

However - I totally agree with @QtrBel that you've got to work on your own fears first. If you're nervous while handling or riding, it's going to be hard to make progress - you'll be infecting your horse. Work in your comfort zones, and slowly stretch out from there. Good luck!


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## Dustbunny (Oct 22, 2012)

Avna said:


> Along with all the above good advice, I would like to also support you in getting a different horse. Horses are not dogs. Although they need good homes, they do not believe you are their family. There are countless people with horses that are simply not the right horse them at the stage of riding they are at. Most of those horses are not getting ridden, or are learning bad habits that will cause problems in the future wherever they end up.
> 
> An experienced confident rider might be able to turn your horse around, but your chances are less good, because _both_ of you get scared easily. ONE of you has to be calm!
> 
> The simplest and most direct solution to your situation is to sell your horse and buy one that is a very quiet experienced trail horse.


Basically, THIS ^^^^^.

Sticking with your horse could turn out to be a wonderful learning experience. It worked for me, but it was literally years and a lot of time researching methods that mostly taught ME how to accomplish goals with the least stress to both of us. One trainer says, "It is never the horse's fault" and for the most part I agree with that. It can be a blow to the ego to admit that WE are usually the problem.
If you are determined to work through this get some experienced help for both of you together. Members have given some very good advice. But do keep in mind that a calm, well-mannered trail horse will do a lot to give you more confidence as a rider, and will give a much more pleasant ride.
Wishing you success with whatever you decide.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

mmshiro said:


> Well, that's going to be tricky, because you now taught him how to terminate the ride on his terms. Moreover, your being nervous does nothing to make him less nervous. I am saying this without being facetious or with intent to troll: Try a moderate amount of alcohol or a Xanax before riding. Your horse needs you to be a leader. You cannot afford to abandon him when he is scared - that's exactly when you need to be in the saddle to show him how to get to safety.


Booze & pills are my go to :gallop::cheers:


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

Op, joking aside with the booze and pills, you do have to be confident. I have one student who always wanted me to lead her on her horse, not when she took lessons here on my quiet horses but on her Tennessee Walker who tended to be a little hot for the first 5-10 minutes. I told her no, she had enough skills to calm him down. I was a little tough on her and said forget about being afraid concentrate on calming him down and you being calm you want the feeling like you get when you ride my horses. She sort of looked at me funny, I said you have to do it otherwise you might as well go to Walmart and ride the horses there. She is a respectful girl but I could see she was a little bit ticked with me, but it worked. Because she was ticked at me, she didn't have the fear and passiveness anymore, she had a little bit of aggression which translated to confidence for the horse. He started listening to her, he started calming down. She said that was the best lesson she ever had. Push past the fear of getting hurt, think of only using your skills to make the horse behave. Bailing off is usually more dangerous then trying to ride out minor spooks, also as others have mentioned, your horse learns that you get off when he acts up, so he will continue to do so. Lunge your horse quite a bit before you ride him so he's a little bit on the tired side and won't be so fresh. Set up obstacles where you ride, like a narrow L shape of poles, walk through those, then trot through those, then back through those cavaletti at a walk, then at a trot. Practice your side passing, mix it up so the horse doesn't have time to spook, he's thinking about what you are going to make him do next.


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## TXhorseman (May 29, 2014)

Kristi Harms said:


> I need some advice. I have a 9 yr old appy gelding. When I bought him we rode a few times but then winter came and he had some time off. In the spring he started spooking and I started jumping off because I am scared due to having some injuries from other horses. We sent him for a month refresher and he did great.
> 
> I’m still very nervous and he will still spook on the ground, which makes me get worked up. I can’t afford to take many lessons and I really don’t want to sell him.
> 
> How do I regain my confidence? How do I make him into the trail horse I want? Please help


The number of lessons you have is less important than the quality of the lessons and how they meet your particular needs.

Is there a trainer in your area who is able to address your fears? 

Training a horses is one thing. Training a rider may be something significantly different.

The trainer you would be looking for is one who understands human emotions as well as horses.


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