# credentials and attitudes



## Vintagesteel (Sep 22, 2015)

Not sure what forum this belongs to, but a vent is a vent. A few bad eggs ruin the whole batch. I have a class in which the trainer is non stop ripping a hole out of us 'beginners' and if we don't do it her way, she is livid. This trainer, who I have to take two courses with,and deal with (I have to suck it up), is from the blue grass state. She's done a lot in the industry. Are most high esteemed horse people like this, because i know they're not, but it often makes me dislike being an equestrian. I don't know why she didn't stay in ky since she makes constant comparisons to NY. 
That aside, im tired of her showing more interest in the people who have horses and therefore more experience in the class. There is a play on favoritism and it is sometimes obvious. This is a beginner class. I talked to a few horseless classmates and they feel similarly. She keeps telling me that I'm still new to horses. But in a way that would make sense for a 5 year old.she doesn't allow me to pick a horse to groom even though I've handled hot and stubborn horses, especially one that I love to normally groom.
She dislikes when I talk to the horses and show them affection. I don't know- she's from the racing industry, and I know she just wants me to groom the horse quickly and not dilly dally.
It's not like I'm not aware of what's going on. I am paying attention to the horse. I know they are big animals. Just because I like to pet and talk to them, RELAX them, does not mean I'm not aware of their body language.. 
This is what happens when the 'I've been at this longer than you' train of thought sometimes goes to one's head. It's my biggest pet peeve. I know this doesn't end with horses concerning attitudes, but I don't know how I'm going to cope with this type of attitude. I've never encountered it so frequently in one community before. It drives me up a wall because horses are one of the major joys in my life. I don't want that to be ruined, and I find it hard to deal with certain realities concerning horses, infighting and I. Sometimes I want to end the chapter book so to speak. Sometimes the small things, like the people, make or break you..I find out hard to be positive around some horse people when here, they kind of look down at non boarders.there's nothing I can do since I'm taking my minor here. I just need to find a way to deal with these things before I break due to not being a "fortunate horse person".yes, that was actually said to me, but I laugh at that now.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Reiningcatsanddogs (Oct 9, 2014)

A lot of horse people are better with horses than people....since you need the credit for your minor, you'll just have to suck it up for now. I ran into the same attitude with more than one professor in college (not equestrian related). You just look at it as a character building exercise and muddle through.


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## Vintagesteel (Sep 22, 2015)

Reiningcatsanddogs said:


> A lot of horse people are better with horses than people....since you need the credit for your minor, you'll just have to suck it up for now. I ran into the same attitude with more than one professor in college (not equestrian related). You just look at it as a character building exercise and muddle through.


Agreed. Since there's nothing I can do anyway.


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

If this is for a class, and the class is from [set time] to [set time], I can understand her wanting you to groom and not spend time on loving on the horses. She has to follow a syllabus, cover certain things, and keep every one in a group.

It isn't a petting zoo.

I would do what is required of the class and get my additional, go at my own pace, horse time on my own time.

Pretty much what I do now. If I'm working for someone, I'm working. I can spoil the horses after all the chores are done. As long as I'm not interfering the the horses' rest and relaxation time.

As far as her attitude... It defines her, not you. 

One of my favorite sayings is "Take what you need and leave the rest." I've learned things from people I truly dislike. I hope your semester isn't a complete waste.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

well said, Boots.

it may be about learning, not so much about feeling happy. too bad they can't always go together, but sometimes the feelgood part comes at another time.

most European instructors aren't about making you feel good, they are about teaching you horsemanship and riding. they make most N. American instructors look like kindergarten teachers.


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## updownrider (Mar 31, 2009)

tinyliny said:


> most European instructors aren't about making you feel good, they are about teaching you horsemanship and riding. they make most N. American instructors look like kindergarten teachers.


This unfair and incorrect stereotype of "most European instructors" is uncalled for or pertinent to the discussion. The OP's instructor is from Kentucky. 



boots said:


> If this is for a class, and the class is from [set time] to [set time], I can understand her wanting you to groom and not spend time on loving on the horses. She has to follow a syllabus, cover certain things, and keep every one in a group.
> 
> It isn't a petting zoo.
> 
> I would do what is required of the class and get my additional, go at my own pace, horse time on my own time.


Excellent advice.


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## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

I am not defending the trainer at all because I don't know her personally but I do want to point out a couple of things. 

1) she's being paid to teach a class. You and her are not there to groom horses or pet them. She probably has to show results at the end of the semester (if she's working for a school) or if she's on her own she probably has to keep a record of students competing so to speak. 

2) she's teaching this class to presumably teach HER way of things. I know when I've taken lessons under professionals I learn WHATEVER they teach me, even if I don't agree with it simply because I can modify it to what I personally believe when I get my own training clients or horses. It boils down to a 'right place, right time' scenario. 

A lot of professional horse people are not people people. I can't coddle a horse, I can't spend time to groom them. They get a cavalry groom, tacked up and ridden, then coddled after wards if all the jobs are done. My training schedule doesn't let me take an hour to groom, I can maybe give them a small scratch and then be on my way. The same holds true when someone comes to me to learn MY style. 

I really don't want to have a rider give me a lecture about how they do it this way because my way is "fill in blank here". If you want to discuss it after the lesson I'm fine with that, because I like learning new things. However, it isn't appropriate to do so when taking a lesson as I am a very busy person and you're paying me to teach you MY style. 

That being said I have to work very hard to be 'nice' to people. I'm a naturally gruff person so it just doesn't come naturally. Sometimes people mistake that for me being 'prideful' or 'arrogant' when in reality I probably just need to take socializing classes.  

You'll have bad eggs and good eggs, just remember that for as many bad as you find you'll find just as many good eggs that'll help you out.


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## alsosusieq2 (Apr 30, 2016)

Absolutely trust your instincts. My first impressions are that she's very money motivated. Get a different instructor immediately. She will not help you that much, she feels as you are horseless that you aren't worth her time. It's shameful on her part! You're paying just as much as the others.. no point in talking to her either. Just change!


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## alsosusieq2 (Apr 30, 2016)

If you can't change instructors, learn what you can and move on. A lot of instructions and instructors are gruff, take it with a grain of salt and learn what you can. Good luck and don't loose your affection for horses!


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## greentree (Feb 27, 2013)

A smile, a nod, and a thank you will go a LONG way.......


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## Cherie (Dec 16, 2010)

Everyone can learn something from about anyone. Focus more on what you can learn and less on your 'feelings' about the instructor. You will learn a lot more listening to her -- not liking her and her style.


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

Agreeing with others - as a professor for a school, she's got to get through the class, teach the concepts, and keep everyone safe and on task at the same time. If she's also not a "people" person to boot, then it may be a real challenge for her to relate to "horseless" students. 

That said, I've had plenty of teachers I did not like over the years, but as Boots said, you can learn something from everyone, even people who you despise or don't get along with. 

As others have said, try your best to get what you can from the class, and hopefully later on you can find an instructor who is more your style. I don't blame you for not liking the "military" style instruction - I don't respond well to it either, and group lessons have never worked well for me.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

alsosusieq2 said:


> Absolutely trust your instincts. My first impressions are that she's very money motivated. Get a different instructor immediately. She will not help you that much, she feels as you are horseless that you aren't worth her time. It's shameful on her part! You're paying just as much as the others.. no point in talking to her either. Just change!



Read again....this is not a barn instructor but part of a collage course, so not about cash, or taking your business elsewhere.

Reading between the lines though.....being as this IS a class, I have sympathy with the instructor, this phrase just jumped out at me:

she doesn't allow me to pick a horse to groom even though I've handled hot and stubborn horses, especially one that I love to normally groom.

It is a class, her rules, so no, you don't get to pick, you get to do what you are told, not a democracy here. You don't have to like it, but part of school and college is preparing you for the work place, and guess what, you don't get to pick and choose there either.


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