# Horses and me...the journey



## Serenial (Mar 13, 2018)

Hello everyone!

First of all, let me apologize for the lack of posts on my part in the last couple of weeks. Some of you requested this a couple of weeks back,but it has been a very hectic period at work and I have also been very busy with finding the vet for assessing how my baby boy Rock is recuperating from his DDFT injury. But more on that to follow.

This journal is meant to share my experience (especially my current situation) with anyone who reads this topic, not so much from a technical point of view, but from more of a personal approach on my interactions with horses, people out there who know are involved in teaching and supporting me throughout this journey (for better or worse) and how my relationship with my baby boy Rock evolves. If any of of you can offer me any advice (as log as it is constructive), or are interested in one specific detail, please feel free to join in the discussion. *Any feedback is greatly appreciated!* I'm telling you what I also tell my riding teachers:"I do not mind being called directly stupid, as long as you can tell me what I did wrong and how I can improve. As long as you do that, I cannot take it personal.". That being said, I would wish though that we keep this post as civil as possible, but do not hold back on contradicting me if you think something was not right from my part. After all, I have started horseback riding to grow as a person, and I would expect from anyone to tell me that I am wrong as long as they can also offer a way out of my stupidity, which, I might add, will be up to me in the end if I decide to take it or not.

That being said, here is a little background on how things started for me as a horseback rider. It was a short but extremely intense experience (for the good of it and the bad of it), but which I never regret taking. It came to define me as a better person and it taught me a lot not only about horses (which I now consider the angels in my life), but also about me and the world we live in. I've had my share of ups and downs with it ever since, but as long as I kept learning from my experiences, there was nothing I could no go through. Keeping a positive attitude and focus was essential and it was worth every bit of it until now.

So, here we go...

About 5 years back, I have decided to start a new sport. So, after a few days of deliberating with my co-workers I decided on picking up horseback riding (all of my colleagues with whom I spoke told me to pick up soccer or basketball, so I decided on something more special - the hipster in me is strong -). The only regret I had ever since was not picking up this sport earlier in my life.

Since April 2013, I have been taking lessons in horseback riding. It agreed so well with me, that I decided to also go semi-pro with this sport (my decision at the time). So I decided in the end, to take some professional dressage lessons, which I have started in June 2015 after a careful study on what teacher should I get. I have tried some lessons before with another teacher, but she seemed more keen on vaulting than on dressage (in so much that we barely did any dressage). I kept getting those lessons for a year and a half (at least 2-3 hours each week), until I had a bit of an argument with the teacher (he kept pushing me to force the horse to do something it did not want to do and he even suggested to hit him if he disobeys), so this was the point I decided I should probably get my own horse (so I can prove both to me and to anyone else who was in doubt that there is another way to approach this relation between a rider and his horse). Suffice to say that I was a bit depressed and very disappointed with my experience so far. But, for the sake of the grand fun I had with it when things were OK, I did not want to quit and I am extremely happy with my choice.

I'll continue this in a new post so it will be a bit more easily to follow.


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## Serenial (Mar 13, 2018)

--Continued--
It was at this point that I decided that I can take this to the next step. I was ready to get my own horse, whom I could train however I liked and through whatever methods I wanted. At this point, I have also moved back with the work close to my hometown, and I could revisit the riding school where I took my first lessons. And since I got a preferred customer status there, the instructor there also asked me to help him with the training/riding of their horse I got almost a free hand with the horses there and it was there that I fell in love with the Frisian horse breed. One of the stallions they had there (Nero) was an absolute pleasure to work with, even though he was not that well mannered (the trainers there were a bit under-qualified for working with horses). 

At this point I should probably clarify that in the field of horses and horseback riding, there is a very big scarcity of trained workforce in this country. Most employees at these schools are just people who own horses for their own purposes at home and use them for subsistence work. This is due to both the ignorance of the vast majority of people, but also because of the very low wages they are payed. I'm not saying there aren't any Romanian born guys out there who can and will be very professional in the field, but most of them have preferred to take the way of the western countries, where they can earn decent wages and make a decent living.

Going back, I liked (and still do) this Frisian stallion Nero and I started asking around for any of his offspring and if there were any of them for sale. One of the guys which was caring for the horses at the ridding school heard about this and he said that he owns a mare which is one of his offsprings (she was half-frisian). I decided to go and take a look and I ended up buying her, although I was also warned by her previous proprietor that she was not the nicest horse. This was happening way back in the late summer of 2015.

To put it mildly, this was a blatant understatement from her owner. She was one of the most violent horses I have ever seen in my life. Her aggresivity was off the scale. Anyone who she did not know was a potential murder victim for her. She would lash out at literally anybody and bite or stomp, especially if she was yelled at. So my next problem would be to get on her good side and, even more complicated, find somewhere to board her (since I do not have a place home to keep horses).

By keeping confident and not pushing her boundaries to much, I was eventually able to earn her trust. For some time, I was able to keep her at the riding school I mentioned earlier, until I discovered one day that she was being abused. After having a not-so-nice talk with the guys who should have been keeping her safe, and the owner of the riding school, they (almost literally) throw me out of there. I did mention though to get a 2 week period for me to find another place to board her (and, in any case, the initial agreement was temporary). I did manage eventually to find another place to board her (with some owners who you could actually have a decent discussion with) and this would be the place I am still boarding my horse.

--to be continued--


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## whisperbaby22 (Jan 25, 2013)

Good luck with your horse. There are a few friesians around where I live.


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## JoBlueQuarter (Jan 20, 2017)

Subbing! And I love what you said: "I do not mind being called directly stupid, as long as you can tell me what I did wrong and how I can improve. As long as you do that, I cannot take it personal." I'm going to use that quote!


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## Loner (Dec 21, 2017)

Good luck with your horse/I can not stand people that abuse any animal let alone a horse.You did right taking him out of that place.I also bought a horse{Andalusion} That was mistreated and took a long time to bring him around,Thank God he has come around fine now.It takes a lot of love and attention


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I'm waiting for the next episode . . . .


there is a trainer named "Paul Belasik". I thought he was from your general area, but perhaps I am wrong. You may enjoy his books. He has a training farm in the US now. He , also, came to dressage more as a mature man than as a youngster.


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## Serenial (Mar 13, 2018)

Thank you for reading through this ! I'll post the continuation when I'll get a bit more free time since it takes me close to 1 hour to make a journal post(over the weekend). I've also promised you some pictures with my baby boy. Those are fresh from last week. It was an awful weather and I could not go out or turn him out (we had a hard freeze and I would not risk another tendon injury), so I experimented with plaiting his mane a bit. 

I also owe thanks for teaching me this plaiting technique to the barn owner's wife.


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## Serenial (Mar 13, 2018)

whisperbaby22 said:


> Good luck with your horse. There are a few friesians around where I live.


Thank you for the warm wish @whisperbaby22 :smile:


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## Serenial (Mar 13, 2018)

JoBlueQuarter said:


> Subbing! And I love what you said: "I do not mind being called directly stupid, as long as you can tell me what I did wrong and how I can improve. As long as you do that, I cannot take it personal." I'm going to use that quote!


Please feel free to use this as you like. And thank you @JoBlueQarter!


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## Serenial (Mar 13, 2018)

Loner said:


> Good luck with your horse/I can not stand people that abuse any animal let alone a horse.You did right taking him out of that place.I also bought a horse{Andalusion} That was mistreated and took a long time to bring him around,Thank God he has come around fine now.It takes a lot of love and attention


Thank you @Loner for your sympathy. Yes, it was quite a long way up the hill with this mare. I was infuriated because they abused her. But then I really got sad, because those were supposed to be people who for all intents and purposes should teach me how to ride and behave around horses. But I guess this was a bit too much for them and in the end they did what they did out of pure fear. This is the only rationale I could come up with. And if you are scared of horses, then you really have poor horse skills. This was my logic and my consolation. 

Anyway, I did have a discussion with them back then and I was really open minded about how to solve this issue (as much as I could be given the circumstances). But the owners were only interested in the business (not the horses) and gave the teachers/instructors free hand with matters of horse keeping/riding, etc. They chose not to press sanctions against them, but instead told me that the stable grooms or teachers consider that whatever they did was to their best knowledge and intentions. You can imagine I walked out of there telling them that they just lost a loyal customer and up until now there is little I want to hear about them. It was a really hard exercise in self control not to yell at them (which I am happy to have passed successfully). I considered their attitude very rotten. And I am very happy for getting out of that place.

On a positive note, the mare that I used to own did slowly come back to trust people again. She really did not have an aggressive behavior, but since she was abused (and I would bet my money that at the riding school it wasn't the first time), she just had a really hard time trusting people handling her (especially men; she was by and large OK with women handling her). I did manage eventually to form a very nice bond with her, but in the end ended up with my current baby boy. I do miss her sometimes though. But these are spoilers... :lol:


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## Serenial (Mar 13, 2018)

tinyliny said:


> I'm waiting for the next episode . . . .
> 
> 
> there is a trainer named "Paul Belasik". I thought he was from your general area, but perhaps I am wrong. You may enjoy his books. He has a training farm in the US now. He , also, came to dressage more as a mature man than as a youngster.


I really did not heard of him before. His name does not ring a bell and I do not think it is Romanian. Perhaps Hungarian (which is a neighbor of Romania). If you find out anything more about him, please send me the info. I did just a quick search on the web and I'm already interested to learn more about him.

Thank you!


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## JoBlueQuarter (Jan 20, 2017)

Nice work on the plaiting! It's very beautiful!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Serenial said:


> I really did not heard of him before. His name does not ring a bell and I do not think it is Romanian. Perhaps Hungarian (which is a neighbor of Romania). If you find out anything more about him, please send me the info. I did just a quick search on the web and I'm already interested to learn more about him.
> 
> Thank you!



Yes, I wasn't sure if the name was Romanian or not. I knew it was Eastern European. Beyond that, I did not know.

I've read his book, "Riding toward the light". It's about his personal journey into Classical Dressage. I think you can order it off of Amazon.


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## Loner (Dec 21, 2017)

Thank You for the response.I am very glad You ended up with a nice Horse.I went through the same thing with my gelding but am very happy with him now.It boils down to what I have said many times before(SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT OWN OR BE AROUND HORSES)Its people like You that make owning Horses a pleasure.(Caring and loving Horses).


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## Serenial (Mar 13, 2018)

Continuing with my horsey adventures...

Soon after I moved my mare to the new boarding place, I had eventually found out from the previous owner that he had been mounted a couple of months before I bought her to a Frisian stallion, but he was not sure if she was foaling or not. Luckily, The place I boarded her was owned by a very experienced and open minded vet and after I mounted the courage of telling him the news I got the confirmation that she was indeed with foal. I really did not know how to bring the news, but I thought that it would be better if I told him than to wake up one morning with an extra horse in his stables :lol:. It worked out great in the end and I came out better friends with this guy. A friendship which I still cherish and rely on to this day.

As for the slow recovery of the mare to how a proper horse should behave around people, it took a great big deal of work. A great number of people I tried to talk to which were also supposed to be "horsey" persons told that I was being far too gentle for what levels of aggressiveness this mare showed, but with the help of the internet (yes, this thing is great as long as you know how to churn the good information from the bad one) and some books, I did slowly manage to get her to slowly trust herself around people. In so much that the vet started to also feel fairly conferrable checking her up without fearing for his life. I am telling you, she was a nightmare around strangers when I first saw her. And I mean the kind of behavior that would chew you to pieces and trample you to dust. And that without any kind of discernible warning. She would just lash out at you like a cheetah to it's pray. But she slowly came to recover from it. She was still shy at this point around strangers and any attempt from a stranger to get into her private space was still met with some aggressive display. But at least now she would show you when she was not comfortable around you. _*But by God, I owe so so much to her*_. I cannot tell you how many extremely important lessons I learned from this horse, one of the biggest being that patience goes an extremely long way with horses and it is the best investment in a relationship. Also, I have learned a very beautiful thing from her: once I got under her skin, there was little to nothing which to fear. I guess in the end this was her gift back to me in a sense. I was feeling so confident when I was around her that I thought that there was nothing that I thought we could not accomplish. I just think this was the Frisian DNA speaking from her genes. 

Off-topic: I'm telling you what you might also find on informational web sites of the breed and I can confirm it 100%: Frisians are indeed horses with personality crises; they really think of themselves as 1000lbs dogs. Once you earn their trust and are confident around you, they will come running to you in a neighing frenzy just when they hear you calling out their names. They will follow you around without any halter. The will try to snuggle behind your back when they perceive something frightful (most of the times this is funny, but also dangerous, especially if you are caught off-guard). They will invite you to play with them when they are released in a padock (which some people will wrongly mistake this for signs of aggressiveness). Also, they will react to remove what they would consider a dangerous "agent" from both around them and their entourage if necessary. On the other hand, they do seem to acknowledge that humans are fragile meager beings which should not be pushed around just because they are weaker physically . This is very important, since they are highly aware of your human physical limits (this is vey important for handling a green Friean horse). They are a very intelligent, courageous and kind breed (especially if they come to trust their handler) which is why I absolutely love this breed so much. The rest (long thick manes and tails, beautiful posture and muscle tone), these are just eye candy. And yes, they are very food driven!!! If you want forgiveness from a Friesian horse, just bring along a carrot and everything between you two will be put in the past. I cannot vouch for all of the Frisian breed individuals out there, but this is my (albeit limited) experience with this breed. 

Coming back to the mare I used to own, we did eventually started to go out hacking and we also started learning some classical dressage (we got as fas as shoulder-in exercises). Even though she started giving people the benefit of the doubt, she was still displaying clear sign of distrusts among her fellow horses. Usually when I hacked out in a group, I would have to always be the last person (which is fine and I would not mind at all) since if there was someone behind me and would approach just within the reach of her hind feet, that horse would be stamped with her horse shoes. I could not help her much here unfortunately. I have talked to the barn owner (the vet guy) to slowly integrate her into a her of his, but he was very reluctant of this due to her behavioral displays towards other horses. 

---to be continued---


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## Serenial (Mar 13, 2018)

JoBlueQuarter said:


> Nice work on the plaiting! It's very beautiful!


Thank you! It does not look much, but it took me close to 45 minutes to do that plaiting. I am still a rookie with lots of things to learn


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## Serenial (Mar 13, 2018)

tinyliny said:


> Serenial said:
> 
> 
> > I really did not heard of him before. His name does not ring a bell and I do not think it is Romanian. Perhaps Hungarian (which is a neighbor of Romania). If you find out anything more about him, please send me the info. I did just a quick search on the web and I'm already interested to learn more about him.
> ...


Thank you for the followup. I'll start srarching for the book you recomended.


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## Serenial (Mar 13, 2018)

Loner said:


> Thank You for the response.I am very glad You ended up with a nice Horse.I went through the same thing with my gelding but am very happy with him now.It boils down to what I have said many times before(SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT OWN OR BE AROUND HORSES)Its people like You that make owning Horses a pleasure.(Caring and loving Horses).


Tahnk you @Loner for the wonderful compliment! I'm not perfect about horse care (in fact the only things I'm certain about is that I'll never be perfect at this) but I do try my best. Sometimes is not easy. But it is very rewarfing and the support of peoplr like you that makes this all the more wothwhile. And I do agree with you wholeheartedly that some people should not belong anywhere near a horse. 

I am very glad that the story between you and the abused gelding (Andaluso) evolved to happy and positive notes. You have my utmost consideration for making a change for a better world!


P.S.: Sorry for any typos. I am writing this from my phone. I am currently inthe stables and Rock is trying to get my attention by trying to chew on it. As a matter of fact you can cosider this reply as comming 50% from me and 50% from him :lol:


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## Loner (Dec 21, 2017)

Thank You so much.I meant everything I said.I am quite sure that your heart is in your owing Horses.Moose is doing great.


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## Loner (Dec 21, 2017)

Those are beautiful pictures.


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## Serenial (Mar 13, 2018)

Loner said:


> Thank You so much.I meant everything I said.I am quite sure that your heart is in your owing Horses.Moose is doing great.





Loner said:


> Those are beautiful pictures.


I am very happy to hear that things turned out for the best for you and Moose!

As for the mane plaiting, thank you for your appreciation but I still have a long way to go with my technique.


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## Serenial (Mar 13, 2018)

Sorry for the sparcity of my replies lately. I had some very busy days and barely had time to login to the forum...

Comming back to my horsey adventures-

As I said, I started to develop with this mare a quite beatifulk relationship and bond, despite all the difficulties we faced. I have kept constant contact with the vet during her pregnncy and towards the 8-9 month mark I slowed down her training pace and frequency in preparation for the labor. I did this despite my vet's advice which told me that a good workout woulda lso help her have a smooth birthing and labor.

I remember now that it was a very sunny May morning when I got a call from the barn onwer telling me that I was now the proud owner of gorgeous filly. The mare gave birth over the night and they just came back in the morning and they found "double the trouble" in the stable :lol:. I also remember excusing myself from work that day and I made an emergency stop at the stables. I was literally mesmerized by the care and attention this mare gave to her newborn. In so much tht she would not let nyone approach her or her foal for the bet part of a week after she gave birth. She was just trying to be the best mother there can be, and even though this was her first foaling she was doing an excellent job of being a great mom. Even the vet was very amazed of how nice she was toards her foal, given the issues she had with other horses.

After consulting with the vet (which I think I also mentioned was the barn owner), we decided to give my mare a 8-10 week break so that she can have a smooth recovery from her birth. I asked him if I could help with the trianing opf other horses of his. And here I reached a PIVOTAL decision in my life. He said he'll give it some though. He was not against it, but he wanted to think about what horse to entrust me with. A couple of days afterwards he came back saying that he thinks he found a horse with which I'll make a perfect pair. He would come to be referred nowdays as my baby boy, Rock. Now, in all fairness I do have some suspicion that this was some of a marketing trick of his further down the line, but at this point I was not aware of it. In any case, I did not mind it. 

To be honest, I spent those few days until he came back with his decision walking around the stalls looking at the stable boxes, trying to figure out which would be the horse with which I wanted to start the training with. Suffice to say Rock was one of themost handsome horses I ever gazed my eyes upon, and despite the fact that he was a stallion, he was extremely well behaved. And this was an understatementat that time. To be honest, he also left me the impresion that he was just sitting there in his stall box, quietly begging for attention from anyone passing by. It was a bit of a hertbreaking picture anytime I visited his stable box.

Going back a bit further in time, my first contact with Rock was when he was in a paddock grazing by himself and feeling for some company. He just came up to the paddock gate and he sniffed my hand, but I was a bit reluctant of interacting with him further because I had next to no idea to whom he belonged to or if I was event allowed to pat him or anything. 

- to be continued -


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