# How to spot a good student



## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

I read on this forum with frequency, "is my instructor giving me good advice. I want to leave this barn, don't like the instructor, I want to leave in the middle of the lesson".
I have had some very good instructors, some "okay" ones, and two top notch trainers I've worked for training horses, but that's different. Let's discuss students. I give lessons to 3 students, 2 young ones, 10 & 9, and a teenager, 14. I have had 2 adult beginners, loved teaching them but they moved. The young ones ride my horses at my arena, teenager has ridden at my place, but this last year, it's been at her place and her horse. The two young ones work their tails off to the best of their ability, don't get frustrated much, lol, but always try. Which isn't easy for a little kid riding a 16hh horse. The teenager? Well I should be paid double by her grandmother who pays for her lessons. I spend a lot of time preparing a lesson for her for what she wants to do with her horse, which is ride him on the road to her friends house. I even walk with her on the road and coach her, sometimes I jog along side her & the horse when he gaits (TWH).

What makes a good student? First, pay me as soon as lesson is over, which all the parents & grandparents do. Next, be prepared, I don't want to keep lending my grandkids' riding apparel out, a week is sufficient to get a helmet, gloves & boots. Next, if I am going to your place, Have your horse caught and ready and tacked up, if possible, if you need help, I will help you but that's part of your lesson. You should at least be outside by the horse's pen when I arrive at the arranged time. If you have your own horse I am giving you lessons on, practice what you were taught between lessons so we can move on to other stuff. If you are coming to my place and using my horses, you put away the stuff you used, not me or your mom, you do. Lastly, you want to learn to ride properly, do as I instruct you, if you feel that isn't your style, find someone else, thankfully I haven't had that happen yet, but I am waiting.


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

So many of the young are in the "I know it all..." phase. We only get one side - theirs and don't see the instructor's side. Assumptions are made on stories that are likely to be exaggerated and biased. Many have the idea they are more advanced than they are. They also do not have the experience handling they need and most of these bad ponies are not. It is a kid or parent that stretched the ability level.


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## Acadianartist (Apr 21, 2015)

My daughter started to give lessons at home on Harley and Rusty. They're both doing a fine job of carting around youngsters. Since her students are all beginners, we expect to have to help with each step including catching the horses, brushing, etc. (I am also present as an adult and to lend a hand). That's part of the lesson since they have to be taught to do all these things. Biggest pet peeve so far? People arriving well before the specified time no matter how often we tell them not to do so. These kids cannot be left alone to brush, tack up, etc. so when they arrive while we are still having our supper, we have to go out with them. Parents come right to the front door of the house and ring the doorbell. This is not a babysitting service! We're going to have to start telling people they have to wait at the barn with their kids if this keeps up. 

On that topic, we also had a mom contact us to see if her daughter could come help out with chores. Kid is 10. The parents think they're doing us a favour and ask if they can drop the kid off all the time. Let's be clear, we want to help this kid get in some horse time, but doing chores with a 10 year old that has no barn experience is kind of like baking a cake with your 4 year old "helping" you. So again, we are not running a babysitting service. Parents expect to be able to dump this kid at our house for a whole day! Um, no! We have had to give strict instructions about when the kid can be dropped off and when she must be picked up. I can't believe parents who are ok with dropping off their underage kid for the day at a total stranger's house! They don't know anything about us!

We are also getting better at spotting students who will continue and those who are not likely to do so. Good students so far include those whose parents communicate with us clearly (no-shows are taken off the schedule for next time), who are comfortable around the horses, and who just appreciate every moment of being near them. Not-so-good students include the complainers: the horse is being "naughty" as opposed to trying to do a better job of telling the horse what they want, there are too many flies, it's too hot/cold/raining, they don't want to pull on the reins because it will "hurt the horse", they aren't dressed appropriately (after being told what is appropriate), they get angry/upset easily if things don't go perfectly. 

I honestly wonder if it's worth the money my daughter makes (it isn't), but since she is being prepped for coaching certification, I figure it's good for her to have experience. I was also surprised by how many parents are eager to sign up their kids for lessons with a 16 year old who is not certified, and don't ask questions or hang around to keep an eye on their kids! A coaching friend told me this is a new phenomenon she's observed over the last few years (pre-pandemic): parents want their "me" time so they don't stay to watch lessons. I am utterly flabbergasted by this.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

I already told parents of the two little ones, you have to be here when the child rides, no exceptions. Actually I am referring both to a friend of mine next month, she has smaller horses, mine are making these poor kids work too hard! My horses don't give these kids anything for free, lol. The teenager was dropped off & left, once, to help with chores, so l gave her some, she wasn't too thrilled about picking poop. My favorite is to teach is beginner adults, but I won't advertise, like you said, not worth the work. Personally, I prefer giving lessons to someone on their own horses, mine will be to showing next month.


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## Acadianartist (Apr 21, 2015)

waresbear said:


> I already told parents of the two little ones, you have to be here when the child rides, no exceptions. Actually I am referring both to a friend of mine next month, she has smaller horses, mine are making these poor kids work too hard! My horses don't give these kids anything for free, lol. The teenager was dropped off & left, once, to help with chores, so l gave her some, she wasn't too thrilled about picking poop. My favorite is to teach is beginner adults, but I won't advertise, like you said, not worth the work. Personally, I prefer giving lessons to someone on their own horses, mine will be to showing next month.


Funny how that works eh? Not sure what kinds of chores these kids expect to be doing... there's always manure to be picked! We had a teenager ask if she could also come help do chores in exchange for rides. She's a decent rider, is taking lessons elsewhere, so we said sure. Turns out she's not available Saturdays. Or Sundays. Or most evenings. Or early in the morning, lol. 

Another time I sent a kid out to the back pasture to pick rocks. She lasted all of about 5 minutes. Yet my adult friends will come over and help me pick rocks out of the paddock for a solid hour...


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## MeditativeRider (Feb 5, 2019)

I agree with all this.

I have to say though you can't just judge people by age and say they will or won't be good at chores. I think it really depends on the person. Maybe my kids (8 and 12) are just an exception, but they would pick poop (or rocks @Acadianartist) until the job was done whether they were bone tired and falling over or not. And they would still be perfectly happy and having fun doing it. I have also always been the same about jobs/chores and work maximum effort till the job is done.

My daughter (now age 12) has had minimal horse experience since age 7. Some riding lessons (maybe about 10), and a few pony camps. At age 10 she started coming to do chores at therapy riding while I assisted in the arena. She has always done them completely unsupervised and really well. She can muck out paddocks and stables, clean water troughs, refill waters, tidy up in the arena after lessons etc, and do a job equally as well as a teen or adult all on her own. And really fast too. She might take about 45 min to an hour to muck out the paddocks for 8 or 9 horses. In terms of speed and efficiency, she beats the pants off a much older teen that comes and takes about 4 h to do what she does in 45 min to an hour.

Overall, I think as a society we have got to treating children in way that makes them too dependent on adults to do everything and we kind of put them in this place where they grow up thinking they cannot do stuff. It is like a self-reinforcing cycle, of adult = you are too young and dependent and can't do this, and child = I can't do this. Whereas you can make it a self-reinforcing cycle the other way and help them become independent. But I think this starts at home, and also at school, and in both places, many kids are not expected to be responsible for much at all.


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

My child drew the line at nuts from the pecan trees in the pasture. Poop, sure. Sticks you say? Why not. Rocks, of course. No nuts. He was 8 when he started "officially" working for someone else.


It starts at home but sadly many expect the schools to parent and they are not set up for that. Do the best they can but there are limits and only so much that can be done.


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

MeditativeRider said:


> I agree with all this.
> 
> I have to say though you can't just judge people by age and say they will or won't be good at chores. I think it really depends on the person. Maybe my kids (8 and 12) are just an exception, but they would pick poop (or rocks @Acadianartist) until the job was done whether they were bone tired and falling over or not. And they would still be perfectly happy and having fun doing it. I have also always been the same about jobs/chores and work maximum effort till the job is done.
> 
> ...


This is awesome. Just the other day I watched a family friend put sunscreen on her 13 year old son. She called him over and he just stood there as she slathered it on - passed it to another parent with a teen who had a look of horror. Her 12 year old daughter took the bottle and applied it to herself. He was jumping on the trampoline and called his mum to look in adoration. The girl was busy helping with the younger kids. This is nothing about gender because from what I've observed it really is their approach in parenting. Or maybe it is about gender but... dont want to go too deep. The boy's 7 year old sister is very independent. There's mummy's boy and then there is _mummy's boy _innit? At our yard there are a lot of family and friends with teens - not a chance. They lasted maybe a few weeks and that's without poo picking. Just getting nails dirty is enough of a deterrent.

So far from what I've seen a good student is one that actually turns up in the first place. And I really think that a good student wont nag you to canter in the first 10 rides when they can barely hold the reins properly - I want to say this is an instructor thing but honest, hand on my heart, my instructor _really tried. _This same student was telling people they were playing polo >.<


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## CallmeDior (Apr 26, 2021)

Thanks for this! I am currently in Mexico and nobody here knows how to tack and untack their horses. I've been to 2 schools and nobody did. They don't know anything about horsemanship. They aren't even use to giving horses treats after riding them. The groomers, teachers and students are surprised how much I know about horses. They all thought I worked in a barn before. I told them that I volunteered in Florida so I can train for horsemanship. They don't know what horsemanship is. I also told them I don't know a lot of things about horses and I am still learning. What they see me doing are just what I learned from the training facility in Florida. I only lasted 10 days and I did not realize how much I learned till I came to Mexico. I just tried to apply everything I learned and asked my coach some refreshers if needed be. The groomers love me because I take away what's left for them to do. They said that I am a big help for them like giving my horse a bath after my class for example, filling the horses bucket with water and putting away my tacks.

Since, I have been doing a lot of grooming, feeding, stretching and preparing for my horse, a lot of the students are now finding it more like a trend since I am from the USA. I do a lot of videos and go pro videos that my coach share on their instagram because I tag them. A lot of students from other schools are even asking me questions about stuff I use for horses. For example they don't condition their hooves before classes or really clean them well. I had to bring one from the USA. They use something else but it is more to make the hooves harder. In Mexico, it is scorching hot and I think the hooves need some conditioning in my opinion. I was trained to use it when I was in Florida and it was hot there too.

They also don't stretch their horses before training. They think I am spoiling the school horse that I am riding because I give him so much attention. For me this is just normal!

Anyway, thank you for reminding us what a good students should be like.


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## Dutch_Juniper (May 21, 2020)

CallmeDior said:


> Thanks for this! I am currently in Mexico and nobody here knows how to tack and untack their horses.


In all honesty, you can’t compare the American and Mexican horse cultures. Stuff like stretching, bathing, conditioning g hooves etc. are very Western concepts. In Mexico, horse riding at a specialized facility is an upper-class business, and those same people don’t even make their own beds because they have maids at home. I do think it is good that you are introducing them to new perspectives of being around horses! It might show people who are quite privileged that there are different ways of doing things.


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## CallmeDior (Apr 26, 2021)

Dutch_Juniper said:


> In all honesty, you can’t compare the American and Mexican horse cultures. Stuff like stretching, bathing, conditioning g hooves etc. are very Western concepts. In Mexico, horse riding at a specialized facility is an upper-class business, and those same people don’t even make their own beds because they have maids at home. I do think it is good that you are introducing them to new perspectives of being around horses! It might show people who are quite privileged that there are different ways of doing things.


I understand your point however, I am also entitled to my own way of practicing horsemanship. I am not telling anyone how to do their job, how to care for their horse or considering myself any kind of expert about horses. In my opinion, I am practicing what I learned in Florida about horsemanship and still continue to read/learn about it. I don't think I am trying to be a know it all. Like I said, I post what I do on my instagram and my school repost it on theirs. I ask my school if it is ok to do stuff on the horse before I do it so I know I am not stepping on anyones toes. Nobody is putting a gun to anyones head if they follow me or not. If someone ask a question, I tell them to look it up on google. I did not invent horsemanship, it is all over the internet.

I think you are missing the point of what the poster had stated here which is "How to spot a good student?" I don't think I'm comparing Mexican and other nationality on how to care for their horse. I am stating facts and what I observed. I think that some Americans students are also not into horsemanship not just Mexicans. However, in the USA I feel that coaches try to introduce it to their students more. I am agreeing to the poster that's all!


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