# Bonding with your horse



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

i was just wondering.......whats the best way to strengthen a bond between you and your horse?


----------



## RedRoan (Mar 2, 2009)

Hanging out, petting, grooming. All horses are different. Some like to work, and the best way to bond is to work with each other. Others are lazy and tend to be spoiled hehe.


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

thanks! i also heard that sitting in their pasture and just watching them strengthens the bond as well!


----------



## iridehorses (Oct 22, 2007)

It helps if you are the sole care giver. Spend quality time with them in the paddock; grooming; round pen and ground work; non stressful time; hand walking; basically any time you can give them one on one. The thing to be careful of is becoming overbearing. Let them come to you when possible - give them a scratch on the forehead and walk a few steps away with your back to them, they will most likely follow - that's a good thing to have happen.


----------



## paintsrock14 (Apr 16, 2009)

i bond with my horse by taking care of her and feeding her and taking care of her when she is hurt or not feeling well.


----------



## Spirithorse (Jun 21, 2007)

Yep, all that was mentioned are great ideas. LOTS of grazing time. That's a big one. Spend a lot of time asking your horse to do nothing....a lot of times people ALWAYS ask their horse for something and horses get annoyed with it...they feel like there's nothing in it for them. Also find your horse's favorite itchy spots, and remember to scratch HARD.


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

thanks for the advice everyone! i will be sure to try all of it, but if you have anymore keep it coming...i like to see what everyone thinks!


----------



## PaintHorseMares (Apr 19, 2008)

dreamrideredc said:


> thanks! i also heard that sitting in their pasture and just watching them strengthens the bond as well!


Yes it does...be one of the herd. Stand with them, look at what they look at, and be curious at times, too...if you see something, walk over to it, and you'll find that they'll follow you to see what you're looking at.


----------



## draftlover215 (Apr 2, 2009)

Quality time! Lots of it! Sitting in the pasture, in his stall, hand grazing, grooming, ground work, all of this helps strengthen your bond with your horse. Just remember, and this is something I had to learn because I'm just one of those impatient people at times, that building trust and a bond takes time. =)


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

you guys have the best advice!!!!!!!!


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

by the way...when bonding with your horse, i no its good to give them treats (my horse gets plenty of that and every horse deserves a treat) but how much is too much???


----------



## manhirwen (Jul 2, 2008)

Hmm... you stole my carrot dreamrideredc!!!


----------



## ilovemyPhillip (Apr 4, 2009)

Siting is pasture/stalls, walking around the farm/trails on a halter. Feeding grain by hand is a good one. REWARD them, with 'yummies' - they love that, Grooming and more. Savannah (my lil pony girl) and I bond by walking side-by-side on the trails, then we go back, and I feed her her daily grain while petting her. Justa suggestion =].


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

thanks everyone! still keep it comin though! by the way...im still wondering...how much treats is too much? 

***sorry for stealing your carrot! it is my first and only carrot right now...im new!!!***


----------



## manhirwen (Jul 2, 2008)

LOL I just couldn't resist


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

Lol:d:d:d


----------



## Spirithorse (Jun 21, 2007)

For the treats, it really depends on the horse. If the horse doesn't have a tendency to be pushy then it's no problem, but if the horse can be pushy about treats only give them when he EARNS them. Otherwise he'll get this "Hand over the treats and no one gets hurt" mentality lol.


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

lol i think ill cut back a little bit just to b sure


----------



## Walkamile (Dec 29, 2008)

I agree with all the above posts. I'll walk into the pasture and just scratch the horses and enjoy the sun. That's their treat and they love it. They see me coming and meet me for their scratches! :lol:

And it's so true that if you look hard at "something" one or all will come over to "see" what is there! Too funny.


----------



## LDblackhorse (Nov 26, 2008)

Well my guy and I pretty much bonded the first day and our relationship is really strong. 

But it has increased over the years with just long throrughy brushing taking naps together. This also gives you time to read his body language and him yours. 
We also over come obstacles that come our way. Mind you nothing fazes him. but you get my point. Just think of the black stallion and the movies spirit. that was pretty much our beginning. He is pretty much a one owner horse.

But we still play a form of tag in the arena. he has enjoyed this from day one. i would not recommend letting most horses chase you, especailly a stallion. it is not generally for the faint of heart. he does like to gallop and stop a couple feet in front of me, then do a three sixty move in the air. that is he cue for me to go after him. But I trust him. 

But in the end we have bonded so much that I can do anything. Even crack a whip around him and he will not move ( the whip dosen't touch him). This is the kind of stuff no one can teach you. All you have to do is spend the time and see what you and your horse like.

Hope this helps you with your bonding with your horse


----------



## Starynight5 (Apr 18, 2009)

I don't have a horse. But I know just petting it may help.


----------



## sandy2u1 (May 7, 2008)

I have often wondered the same thing about the treats lol. My horse isnt nippy or anything, but I have wondered how much is healthy. My horses favorite treat is apples, which are healthy.....but 5 a day may not be :lol:. What I have started doing is cut the apples in quarters and then cut the quarters in half....that way its just a little small treat.


----------



## draftlover215 (Apr 2, 2009)

LDblackhorse said:


> But we still play a form of tag in the arena. he has enjoyed this from day one. i would not recommend letting most horses chase you, especailly a stallion. it is not generally for the faint of heart. he does like to gallop and stop a couple feet in front of me, then do a three sixty move in the air. that is he cue for me to go after him. But I trust him.


My gelding & I do the same thing out in the pasture.  He loves to play tag, or try to race. We'll stare at each other, then I'll take off running and he go galloping by. He always passes me, turns around doing this big, showy, floating trot and comes back to me to bump his head against my chest or arm as if to say "You silly human, no one can beat ME!"  He's arrogant like that. LOL


----------



## cowgirl4jesus94 (Jun 14, 2008)

Round pen work is really good. Doing join up. 
I've seen it work wonders and I have done it. (although i dont have a round pen yet, sadly.)


----------



## rachweb80 (Apr 28, 2009)

cowgirl4jesus94 said:


> Round pen work is really good. Doing join up.
> I've seen it work wonders and I have done it. (although i dont have a round pen yet, sadly.)


What is join up?


I also just wanted to say what a great thread. It is a good reminder to not always make it about work


----------



## Eolith (Sep 30, 2007)

Grooming, groundwork, and grazing.

My three G's are usually what I do to establish a good amount of familiarity and trust with my horse before asking him to do all sorts of stuff for me.


----------



## manhirwen (Jul 2, 2008)

I believe Join Up is Monty Roberts? My Aunt just sent me a pair of his halters and videos


----------



## bsdhorse (Mar 28, 2009)

> Grooming, groundwork, and grazing.


Definately, I agree. I've only had a horse for about 1-2 months. But I realised these were the best things to do. The whole ordeal of my horse being shoed for the first time, which left him with a sore nose, gut, bleeding gums and he was drugged. 

The next day, he was too scared to come near myself or anyone else. Normally, he gallops over as soon as we go to the gate near the paddock.

It only took a day or two of grooming him for a while, leading him around and then standing in the pasture with him for about an hour. After that he returned to his normal ways. 

Obviously there are other techniques you can try too, but initially, I think those 'three G's' are probably the best to start with.

And yes, manhirwen, Join Up is Monty Roberts.


----------



## horseloverd2 (Jan 23, 2009)

Stupid as this sounds, the more I tried to love and cuddle my horse the more he hated me. He was like "You stupid human... I don't want your gushy gushy sounds" lol I had to actually be a bit firm with him. I had to show him I was the leader, (sometimes by even being aggresive) so he trusts me now. It took a year though. >.< His reason, though, was he was a pasture horse for about 3-5 years and he didn't want to work. 

For normal horses... act like a horse.  That is all I'm going to say.


----------



## brookelovesparelli (Jan 21, 2009)

This is great! i just got my first horse, he's a brumby & so we need to do alot of bonding time together.


----------



## ShowjumpingGirl94 (May 2, 2009)

hey Brook 
Just play the 7 games and let the work at liberty

love mikaela


----------



## Qtswede (Apr 16, 2009)

rachweb80 said:


> What is join up?
> 
> 
> I also just wanted to say what a great thread. It is a good reminder to not always make it about work



Join up is Monty Robert's method. A round pen is needed when you're learning to do it, but it can be done without one without much extra trouble. You can watch it on videos, but to learn to do it right, you really do have to have someone trained in it show you. There are little cues to look for that must all be covered before you can move on, otherwise it's not a real join up.





 Monty's demo





 someone trying one without a roundpen.


----------



## olpe (May 13, 2009)

dreamrideredc said:


> thanks everyone! still keep it comin though! by the way...im still wondering...how much treats is too much?
> 
> ***sorry for stealing your carrot! it is my first and only carrot right now...im new!!!***


I also ask myself this question. What I learned with my horses,"and they are all different" was to watch and see how there disposition changed in a positive or negative way with treats. The trainer I follow says that treats can be positive depending on your horses horsenality,"personality".


----------



## Moxie (May 28, 2008)

I got my haffy just little over 2 wks ago. I have yet to ride him, I've just been spending this time getting to know him, letting him get to know me and see how our personalities mix. 

So far I have done a lot of ground work with him, lots of grooming, and a lot of just hanging out. I wanted very much to be able to develop a bond on the ground before I started in the saddle. 

Just today I went out to the stable, and all of the horses were turned out into the yard (fenced in) I whistled for him, and he came a runnin! It really does feel good to see such a huge animal so excited to see you. We loved on each other for a bit, I fed a few treats, and he licked my hand a bit, and that was all I asked of him today. 

I think just being with the horse, asking nothing of him really strengthens a bond because you're just being a 'friend', if that makes any sense? You're showing your horse that although you are in control and are the leader, you are also their friend and loved one.


----------



## welshpony15 (May 20, 2009)

Well said Moxie! I think being your horses friend is one of the most important things. Sometimes its easy to get carried away with tacking-riding-untacking-paddock, and forgetting about the simple ways you can really make your horse happy  What you said made alot of sense i think. I guess we just need to sometimes give a little more than we take sometimes


----------



## dewaynehousehorsemanship (May 24, 2009)

just a lot of time and get his respect and keep it. Dont ever make him do something you know he is not capable of. A lot of TLC with him is good too. The more time you spend with them the more they want to spend with you.


----------



## gabrielstriumph (Mar 15, 2009)

Oh, I absolutely love my planned "Nothing" days. I set aside special days when me and the horse I ride can try new things, bond, and play. I've done all different sorts of things. We walk around the farm, bareback, with a halter and leadrope, and I let him explore and eat, he loves that. He loves water too, so I usually shower him off with the hose a few times when it's really hot. He does love the tag game too, I set him loose in the arena and we both run around like maniacs. It's really fun too, to have him follow you and stop when you stop, and jump over jumps after you. That's something to work on when you have a better bond. Uhm, I like just trying different things and breaking out of the mold. I ride him english, in hunters, and that's all we ever do. So one time, I broke out an old western saddle, and we hacked around in that for a while. I rode him double with a friend once, I ponied another horse with him, just all sorts of new stuff.


----------



## chelssss(: (Jul 22, 2008)

I love reading these posts. My TB is an adoptee. And lets just say its been a long time, for us to be bonded. He is mainly a one person horse, but he has the attitude. he's not one to be loveable, but I've seen lately, he falls asleep on my shoulder, and he's been licking me, and responding back to my hours of grooming, feeding, petting, loveing. Now he has saved me, I had a hard fall back in the fall/winter and he flipped and landed on top of me, and he stood there and nudged me until i stood up. 

And a few weeks ago, he took a sharp turn, and just jolted out of no where and i found my self on the ground. I dont remember any of it, but my trainer said that he stood there and looked back at me and whinnied and he didnt know what he did wrong and he was scared. 

He has started to come up to me, and nicker every now and then, but i've had him since august, and thats just to show you how long it takes for certain horses to respond back to you. Every horse is different. 

I personally believe in lunging. You have so much communication with your horse on the ground, lunging. You can read your horse, and he can read you. Of course some horses, like my horse, has great communication in the saddle. he LOVES working. But i dont over work him. I dont want him getting sour and bored, so i play with him.

Just try different things and see how your horse/pony is. Play games! Let them be interested.


----------



## gabrielstriumph (Mar 15, 2009)

Awwwww I LOVE hearing stories about how your horse has saved you! That's really sweet how he nudged you. 

I was riding one time, and I put a pole over the rolltop, and he hadn't jumped it like that in forevvvvver, so we came up to it and he started to refuse, so I sat deep and pressed him onward, and he ended up popping over it like a 4 foot fence, leaving me behind, so then when he landed i flew up onto his neck and I was just about to fall off when he reared up and popped his neck backwards, pushing me back into the saddle. It's all thanks to him I didn't fall off.


----------



## Jacksonlover (Nov 16, 2008)

horses also liek a respectful leader, so if you respect them, they will respect you back... This means you must be confident as a handler and not letting them get away with bad behavior like bitting and nipping


----------



## mystikal222 (May 26, 2009)

My horse (and all the other horses I care for) loves being groomed in the pasture.Just walken around,a lil grooming here and there while hes grazing.He usualy starts following me around and trying to get my attention if I stop lol


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

im so happy i posted this! all of the responses have been so great! i was just wondering...a lot of u say u and ur horse play tag, how do u teach them that?!?! it sounds like a blast!


----------



## gabrielstriumph (Mar 15, 2009)

Hmmm. I don't really know how to "teach" that. Gabe and I just sort of did it. I would take off his leadrop in the arena and first I'd walk and he'd folllow then I would start to run and he'd trot or canter after me. So I'm not sure.


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

hmm...ill have to try that one day


----------



## Spirithorse (Jun 21, 2007)

Playing tag isn't really something that is taught, it's more like the horse offers to play it when the relationship is good and he really wants to play with you.


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

yeah thats true


----------



## LeftyLoverX0X0 (May 26, 2009)

If you are there when your horse is born, like if you pay for a stud a get the lucky chance to see it being born, put an item of your clothing (something that has your scent, like a blanket of yours) next to them. When you put blankets on them, use ones that you have owned, that have a strong scent of yours. If they smell you continuously when they are foals, they will recognize and know you forever.


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

that is really cool how that works! unfortuneately i did not have my horse until he just turned four yrs old, but i feel incredibly lucky to at least have him! i could not live without him!


----------



## FunDad (Feb 27, 2009)

One of the ways I got my boy to play tag is eating an apple while he is in the pasture. I just so happen to be eating one out there one day while I had given him and our mare carrots and he start following me. We had fun just kind of chasing each other. I would run with chasing me and I would spin around and chase him real quick. We did this until I got tired and then I gave him the rest of my apple.


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

oh! im definitely gunna try that! how fun!


----------



## Solon (May 11, 2008)

I haven't read all the replies so this may have been covered but I thought I'd share what I did.

I spent a lot of time doing nothing at all. I would be in the stall sitting on a bucket and I'd just read. Sometimes I read out loud. At first my boy completely ignored me. And when he saw I paying no attention, he started coming over and standing by me. 

When he would go to his turn out pasture I did the same thing. I sat on the grass in the middle of the field and read. Ignored him completely. Same thing happened. He would walk over and sniff at me, walk away and eat, then come by again.

I also took him on walks. Or I would let him eat grass and I'd hold the leadrope and just brush him.

We did a lot of ground work together and we spent a lot of time just being in each other's company. I think it made all the difference. A lot of people at the barn comment on the bond we have. 

It takes time. Don't rush it. It'll sure be worth it.


----------



## QtrHorse (Oct 13, 2008)

I know I have bonded with our horses when they look to me for leadership in every situation and respond promptly to my requests. Those little head rubs and kisses are great too.


----------



## mom2pride (May 5, 2009)

For the most part, I think everything I do with my horse is a bonding experience...
You're still spending time with him, thus you're getting to know him, and vice versa...


----------



## Skeeter9 (Sep 3, 2009)

Bonding is a journey that evolves over time. There's really no set destination. Just enjoy the journey!!!


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

great advice!


----------



## Five Furlongs (Feb 7, 2010)

Thank you so so much for this information. I am aware that this post is old but it helped me so much I wanted to comment. I have been having trouble with really bonding with my horse and I now have so many new ideas of what to do with her. I took my horse on a little walk today and I think she really enjoyed it, although she spent a lot of the time trying to eat the dead grass under the snow haha! It was a lot of fun though. A lot of you have said doing groundwork, I was wondering what you meant by this? What things should I be doing on the ground to develop our relationship?


----------



## spookychick13 (Jan 1, 2011)

cowgirl4jesus94 said:


> Round pen work is really good. Doing join up.
> Nevermind, I saw the video.
> 
> Oops.


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

Five Furlongs - I'm glad my thread has helped you! But hopefully someone else on here will give you some advice on groundwork because I am by no means an expert on groundwork :wink:


----------



## Makoda (Jan 17, 2011)

The best thing for me and my horses have been 3 day or more pack trips. Its amazing how much they will change.


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

Oooh that sounds like fun!


----------



## Mocha26 (Oct 27, 2010)

Okay I know this sounds funny but lightly pinch the skin on their shoulder. It's how horses groom each other. Or when you greet him/her theyll blow hot air at you, blow hot air back. It's how they identify one another. Silly, I know. But it works lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

Very interesting thanks for posting that!


----------



## EquineLover (Jan 24, 2011)

Lots of time spent grooming them and petting them. Carrots always help. Even just hanging in the yard, chatting to them, can help. It also helps if you look after him on a regular basis, rather than three or four people being the caregivers. Sitting the pasture, if you can trust the other horses that could be in there, can help. Basically, stalking him.


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

Haha! :lol:


----------



## Mecate (Sep 16, 2010)

I think that spending quality time with a horse is really important, but I also think that times when the horse might get into a little trouble, like getting scared while you are out riding him, is a good opportunity to strengthen a bond of trust and respect. If you are calm and reassuring, allowing him to learn from the experience, I think that will really help an understanding along.


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

Very good point ^


----------



## fess1960 (Jan 25, 2011)

Always leave on a positive note, not when you are mad or have had a bad time, finish each session with an easy task he will remember doing right. The nest time it will be easier to catch him. sometimes just do nothing with him or her, as the other s have said dont make it always about riding. 
join up is MR's word for a thin that all the NH trainers do, Reis, Lyons, Parelli, Anderson...and it is not that hard to begin, but it can be taken to many levels.
The thing that Dennis Reis does different is to use a lariat to teach the horse to turn and face you and disengage if he doesnt do it naturally.


----------



## spookychick13 (Jan 1, 2011)

Last time I was at the barn I found 'the spot' on my horse's shoulder...

He even lightly scratched me back with his lips. Cute.


----------



## fess1960 (Jan 25, 2011)

*Bonding*



Five Furlongs said:


> Thank you so so much for this information. I am aware that this post is old but it helped me so much I wanted to comment. I have been having trouble with really bonding with my horse and I now have so many new ideas of what to do with her. I took my horse on a little walk today and I think she really enjoyed it, although she spent a lot of the time trying to eat the dead grass under the snow haha! It was a lot of fun though. A lot of you have said doing groundwork, I was wondering what you meant by this? What things should I be doing on the ground to develop our relationship?


I use the Freedom course form REis ranch but you can use about any of the clinicians basic fundamentals and get good results
Lateral Flexion, Vertical Flexion, move teh front end with the back end stationary, disengage the hindquarters (move the backend with the front end stationary), side pass or leg yeild, back up with body language and/or by shaking the lead rope, back through gates, lower the head with fingertip pressure, lunging properly, the squeeze game these are the basics...


----------



## gypsygirl (Oct 15, 2009)

keep your horse LEARNING ! all the time ! keep them focused and with something to do =]


----------



## lyssabear (Feb 18, 2011)

with my horse - it was hard for me because he was a race horse and my uncle was his owner - i worked with him everyday and groomed him after training and races - but i also did that with 15 other horses in the barn, i was there when he was going blind in his eyes, i was also there the day before his big stake race and he freaked out and hit his head on a beam and split his head open (he win that day) despite the fact i worked with 15 other horses he would spot me from the top of the barn and nicker i'd walk past and he'd grab my sweater and pull me in and theres no way out from his death grip - i paddocked him everyone of his winning and losing races and walked him after wards also, win or lose i treated him as if he won the Kentucky derby in my eyes. we just fell for eachother and it was simple to keep it that way. 

to this day i don't see him very often - maybe once a week due to the fact i don't drive and he's an hour away - but when i do go to see him he gallops to the fence and runs up and down till i come get him


----------



## fuadteagan (Jun 10, 2010)

my 2 cents :
horses bond with the people they spend alot of time with naturally .......
horses love to eat ( i think all do ) and they are excited at time to eat so say you loved boots and someone gave you boots everyday you would like them ...... right ? well horses naturally bond with the people that feed them and do stuff they like and not be mean ......... so feeding them is a good way to bond daily grooming them and walking him around the barn also another thing is sitting in the pasture and just petting him


----------



## AppyLuva (Oct 25, 2010)

When Quinn arrived at the stable for the first time it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining bright and warm, but since the owner of the stable wasn't back from the store yet we had to place him in his new stall. I felt bad because I wanted him to be able to run around, but I knew that the owner of the stable wanted to be at the stable to make sure things were ok when we released him into the pasture. I decided to grab my peppermint treats and grooming supplies so that I could start bonding with him. I made him look very handsome for his first day and fed him treats when he deserved them. After I was finished I sat with him and talked to him the whole time until Tom, the owner of the stable, came back from the store with some grains. I'm glad I had time to bond with Quinn and I'm also glad that I waited for Tom to get home before releasing Quinn into the pasture because the instant he was released he ran into the electric fence and knocked it down. Sitting with your horse, feeding him/her treats, and grooming him/her is a great way to bond.


----------



## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

Being the sole caregiver plays a huge role. My horses are all bonded to me more than my sister or mom, because my sister never goes to the barn and my mom only feeds a few times a week. I'm the one who spends hours cleaning out there, who feeds them, fixes their fences while they graze.

Molly and I bond through round penning and Natural Horsemanship. Sometimes we go on trail walks, I take her with just a rope halter and we walk or trot along the trail. She loves it, I love it, she gets exercise.

Excel and I bond through grooming....he's such a sucker when it comes to affection. I just got done grooming him, came inside, and saw that he rolled in the mud! Never fun ;-)

Artie bonds through affection. If I just sit on him in his stall, or take a bareback trail ride at a leisurely pace, or even just stand next to him in the pasture, he loves it.

Lenox is a tough nut to crack, she was very timid when she came here and spending time with her every day has helped. I bring her in and groom her whenever possible, and she very much enjoys the attention.

Latte and I bond, believe it or not, by teaching tricks. He loves learning to bow, lay down, etc.


----------



## dreamrideredc (Apr 16, 2009)

Thanks for the input guys!


----------



## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

fuadteagan said:


> horses love to eat ( i think all do ) and they are excited at time to eat so say you loved boots and someone gave you boots everyday you would like them ...... right ? well horses naturally bond with the people that feed them and do stuff they like and not be mean ......... so feeding them is a good way to bond


 I disagree. I do not want my horse to bond with me because I feed him treats, I want him to bond with me because I am his caregiver, because I am good to him, and because he trusts and enjoys my company.

If someone gave you boots every day, would you really love them, or just the boots?


----------



## kiwigirl (Sep 30, 2009)

I treat my horse like one of the family as I do all of my animal friends. I am lucky because Phoenix is able to live on our lawn so she is very much involved in our lives. Case in point though I am a very firm task master and NEVER let her push me around no matter the circumstance. We enjoy riding in challenging country together which further strengthens bonds of trust and friendship. As I said though she is basically one of the family... here I will show you. Phoenix supervises me putting away the dishes and she likes the opportunity to bond with other members of the family as well!


----------



## fuadteagan (Jun 10, 2010)

equiniphile said:


> I disagree. I do not want my horse to bond with me because I feed him treats, I want him to bond with me because I am his caregiver, because I am good to him, and because he trusts and enjoys my company.
> 
> If someone gave you boots every day, would you really love them, or just the boots?



no i did not mean just give the treats i mean be the one their to take care of them and do the daily stuff like feeding , grooming , taking him out to the pasture and stuff not just giving him treats ....... some people that board just let the stablehands do that but i think that is the best way to bond ... my horse used to follow around the barn manager because she turned him out and stuff and she bonded with her i realized that and i started doing that and now we have a better bond


----------



## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

fuadteagan said:


> no i did not mean just give the treats i mean be the one their to take care of them and do the daily stuff like feeding , grooming , taking him out to the pasture and stuff not just giving him treats ....... some people that board just let the stablehands do that but i think that is the best way to bond ... my horse used to follow around the barn manager because she turned him out and stuff and she bonded with her i realized that and i started doing that and now we have a better bond


No, you said feeding horses what they like makes them like you.

BTW, kiwigirl, Latte comes in the house too ;-)


----------



## kiwigirl (Sep 30, 2009)

equiniphile said:


> No, you said feeding horses what they like makes them like you.
> 
> BTW, kiwigirl, Latte comes in the house too ;-)


Actually equiniphile I don't let Phoenix in the house because letting over 600kgs of horse inside the little wooden matchbox that is our house would be stupid.


----------



## ButtInTheDirt (Jan 16, 2011)

I sit out by my horses very often, and that certaintly strengthens the bond. But I think natural horsemanship-type training also makes a closer bond. I know I probably wouldn't love someone if the just made me run in circles untill I'm dead tired, then shoved a bit in my mouth, put a saddle on my back and rode me around for hours after that. Which is pretty much the "regular" way to train a horse. Just because it is common doesn't mean it is right. Moe and I have a closer bond now than we did when I first started training him. My trainer insisted on the tiring method, which never worked for him, being such an intellegent horse. I started natural horsemanship and now I actually think we are closer than ever.


----------



## gypsygirl (Oct 15, 2009)

^^ i wouldnt say thats the 'regular' way of training !


----------



## Cheyennes mom (Aug 6, 2010)

I don't know about the 'best' advise, but when I first started leasing Cheyenne she would never come to me or anyone. She wouldn't do anything very happily unless it was done with her owner who didn't use her really. Now she comes to me with her ears up and nickers to me and wants to be taken out by only me. How I did that was just time. I came to get her with a treat to start just so that she'd let me catch her, and then I lunged her and she was such a brat so I taught her who was boss (although I'm too gentil to do it harshly) but in a more gentil way and then rode her. When I first took her out she wouldn't stay still for me to groom her and tack her up so I gave her hay and eventually she didn't mind me taking her out and stood nicely for me so that I didn't need the hay anymore. I also did a lot of ground work with her. I taught her how to bow and stayed in the paddock with her while I was waiting for my mom to pick me up. 
I'm not exactly sure how I got her and I to be as close as she and I are now but it def. takes time.


----------



## heartscontent (Jan 11, 2009)

I think of bonding as "safety" and "Respect". The horse learns to respect you, and the horse considers you as a safety zone.


----------



## Cheyennes mom (Aug 6, 2010)

^^I can agree with that!


----------

