# A Horse Ad about YOU



## ThirteenAcres (Apr 27, 2012)

Last night in the wee hours of the morning with no sleep, ShinaKong and decided that the most amazing forum topic would be to post a horse ad as if it were /you/ that was being sold. So. What would YOUR ad say to advertise you to the world as the best (or worst) "buy"? 

I'll go first:

Short, stocky 1987 model mare with a little age, but we like to call her "seasoned". Has a gimp or two ever so often, but still has some years left. May need some chiro work done to reach full potential. Not easily spooked, but can have her "mare" days. Has produced one very intelligent filly with nice conformation. Homozygous for the pasty gene. 

Definitely has a quarter horse rear end. Not a picky eater. Pretty low maintenence, but needs to be stalled sometimes due to sunburn.

Knows the barrel pattern and has chased a few cows in her day. 

Up to date on all vaccinations and recently had teeth done. 

Make offer!

XD


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Since when is a 1987 model AGED !?!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Rascaholic (Oct 4, 2010)

This is funny. Maybe I should have DH write mine ....then again never mind ****


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## kait18 (Oct 11, 2011)

bahahaha when i get to a computer i will try this


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## BarrelWannabe (Feb 8, 2011)

Ba! I'll give it a try. I'm going to do two. One for craigslist, and one that is actually going to make sense. 

Craigslist:
mare 4 sail not sure how ol but she is stil young enuff to buck a rider an kick the fairier never ben bread was gona have her bread to my doc bar grate-grate-grate-grate-grate grandson but she kicked his fron teeth out She aint ben road in a few years need her feet don, No papers askin 3500 obo
I might trade for a truck, 4 wheeler, stud horse, ????

Ok, let me regain my ability to used correct english and grammar.

I have a very nice mare for sale. She is a 1994 model registered palomino Quarter Horse mare. Standing just under 15.2 hh, she is a very stout, strong, and correct mare. She has a little age to her but don't let that fool you. Currently being used in a lesson program for intermediate riders as well as for smaller children on the leadline. As a 4-8 year old, she was used as a barrel/pole horse and averaged in the 2D and ran a 21-13 second pole pattern. After that, she was used to gather cattle and doctor calves until she was 12. Then she was sent to a dressage trainer for 6 months. She then began jumping and was up to 2' 6" before we brought her back for the lesson program.

Knows her leads, flexs, collects well and is an all around seasoned mare. Would make a suitable intermediate beginner's mount. She will test her rider but only to the limits of the rider. She would also make a great low level show jumper and dressage horse, and might even be an eventer with a little work. 
She is up to date on all shots, teeth, feet, and chiro. Stands for the farrier, ties, lunges, trailers and tacks up great. Doesn't need shoes but has fronts on. I'm asking $8500. Price negotiable to the right home.


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## ThirteenAcres (Apr 27, 2012)

Haha. Very nice! And days like this, this 1987 model FEELS aged.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

Fun thread!

Here goes

"Stocky, aged alpha mare. Well trained but has little tolerance for rookie mistakes. Very loyal until you treat her wrong. Has had one foal, has a tendency to want to kill her young so not a great broodmare prospect. Extremely competitive, will darn near kill herself to succeed. Hard worker that loves the good life. Premium feed only, no sweet feed or un-tasty filler. She has shown in reining, cutting, working ranch horse events, penning, hus, hms, sms, trail, jumping, western riding (has A+ lead changes) and all speed events. A little too out of shape for the halter pen. AND she's pretty much priceless but make an offer."


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## petitepyromaniac (Oct 12, 2010)

1988 light chestnut mare for sale, in foal to local stud. Shown second level dressage when she was younger, as well as jumped small courses. Currently she is out of shape and would need a lot of work. She also (desperately) needs her teeth done. Quite lazy, and very mareish. $1200 OBO. Will trade for a kitten.


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## ThirteenAcres (Apr 27, 2012)

Ahahahaha. Love the part about killing her young!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

petitepyromaniac said:


> Will trade for a kitten.


:rofl: Now that's great!


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

"Old, grumpy witch with curvy legs and almost no hair left with a little goblin by her side is looking for the new owner". 

This is an actual ad I've seen while back in "Looking for..." ads.... :wink:


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## BlueSpark (Feb 22, 2012)

Here goes nothing:lol:

For Sale : one 1988 Grade mare(several european breeds with a heavy dose of canadian), Short stocky build, but evenly proportioned. Short back and feminine face. VERY easy keeper.

Lots of mountain riding and endurance experience, great trail horse, loves water. Not fond of arena work but has a great work ethic and will do anything for you if you ask nicely. Not a horse that can be handled roughly. Gets along great with other horses as long as they are respectful and inteligent. Can be a little bossy.

Palamino in color, long mane and tail, prone to sunburn.
Needs a good warm up before a hard ride, knees can be a little stiff on rainy days. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RIDE BEFORE MORNING FEEDING.

Loves foals(may make good broodmare) but never been bred, very picky about stallion, beat up the last one pretty bad.

Healthy and sound with the exception of spring alergies. Loves anything sweet and gin. Needs to be dry lotted in the summer, and worked regularly.


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## COWCHICK77 (Jun 21, 2010)

For Sale:
'77 Palomino mare racing and cowhorse lines, fast out of the gate but not much for endurance. Loves to chase cows. 
Hot and volatile under pressure. Hard keeper, hard breeder and has a few scars. 
Bucks, bites, kicks, cinchy and will not tie. Must twitch for a bath.

Will trade for a broken curb strap.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hunter65 (Aug 19, 2009)

Aged mare for sale. Dark bay with a sprinkling of white throughout. Has had one filly but sadly cannot have anymore (too old now anyways). Has quite a few scars on legs but very sound. UTD on teeth and shots. Trailers well, loves the trails but gets bored rather quickly in the arena. Not very patient and will not tolerate stupidity. Bonds quickly and is very loyal so long time home best.


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## kait18 (Oct 11, 2011)

ok found a computer 

1989 irish grade mare with loads of personality. average /tone build with nice confo. grey coloring with light brown mane (i know insane lol) average height 15.2 hh (head to ground not at shoulders lol). known to test handler and if given an inch will take a mile, so must have stern/experienced leader! 

will work hard and is very trusting which will make a great project horse to train anyway . not spooky enless spiders or snakes are present and will jump into the water without hestiation. needs a job and can not be left alone to her own devices, she loves to play pranks/get into trouble. also loves treats especially watermelon flavored jolly ranchers, and hates anything to healthy, but does not like cheap filler grain. 
make me an offer 

ps i loved all the ads so far lol


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## VanillaBean (Oct 19, 2008)

Young, fiery mare with a sense of humor. Stands around 13 hands, but is very strong. She is very willing, but gets marish. Very marish. This little horse is not for beginners. She will test you endlessly. Not a boss mare, but will not tolerate being picked on. Very flashy with her deep bay coat and stunning blue eyes, always an eye catcher. This mare can do a bit of everything, but excels at show jumping and bolting. Doesn't like to be touched or hosed. A total clutz...this horse walks into walls and trips over shadows. Every ride on this mare is a challenge, but she has only killed 2 of her 4 riders!

Asking $15,000 for the unpapered, unpredictable, half-wild kicking machine. A great project horse!


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

I have for sale a 1988 polish-bred arab mare for sale. Stands right at 15 hands, bright bay in color. VERY easy keeper, could probably stand to lose a few and would make good use of a grazing muzzle. Well-broke for trail riding, has been endurance ridden in the past. Feet were done last week, but she has sensitive feet and is kept shod. An old hock injury means she needs a bit of a warmup before riding. She is very loyal, but expects the same in return fromher rider. Recommending an experienced rider due to tempermental tendencies. Not selling as a broodie a she is not motherly at all. Loves icecream, swimming, and hanging out with the farmdogs. Asking $3000 obo!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Lins (Nov 8, 2011)

1988 sorrel canadian bred grade mare for sale. Has a bit of a roman nose, but has long legs, wide shoulders and long mane. She's a little funny looking, but gets the job done. Hard worker, tends to stay lean and doesn't gain weight too easily. Loves trail rides in the mountains, reining, jumping, she'll give pretty much everything a shot. Experienced rider only, she's known to throw some nasty fits. Not much of a human lover. Gets along well with geldings, but not mares. Tends to prance around like a giddy filly with her tail up in the air when she's happy. She's very loyal and tends to stick with the few she gets along with. 
she is obsessed with dogs and will take them into her care and treat them like her own offspring. She's also is terrified of foals and will run frantically away from them. For sale to good home only.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jessabel (Mar 19, 2009)

Too funny. xD Here goes...

*16hh Bombproof Trail Horse For Sale*

1992 Percheron x Appaloosa mare for sale. Tall and long-legged, very docile and gentle. Would have made a great jumper if she wasn't so lazy. Goes anywhere: over bridges, on the beach, wooded trails. Impossible to spook and rarely goes faster than a walk. Ideal for an adult re-rider. Easy keeper. Loads, ties, bathes, clips, stands for the vet and farrier. UTD on shots and coggins. $3,000 firm. To approved home only.


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## TristaJean (May 23, 2012)

For sale: 
Liver chestnut 1994 Italian Warmblood x Irish Sport Horse mare. Temperamental and independent, she definitely needs an experienced rider. Very much a one person horse. Once she bonds with you, she'll do anything for you. Loves water and beach rides. Gets bored easily with one activity, she needs variety. Spooks easily and hates bridges. 
Will accept food from Taco Bell as trade.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Clayton Taffy (May 24, 2011)

This is hysterical, everyone has a wonderful sense of humor. Very rarely do I actually laugh out loud, trade for kitten and eat your young, priceless!!


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## thesilverspear (Aug 20, 2009)

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## thesilverspear (Aug 20, 2009)

thesilverspear said:


> _Posted via Mobile Device_


darn mobile phones!

I wrote:

Mare for full lease or sale to good home. Experienced home only. Very experienced. Needs quiet and clear handling. Will rear up and flip over oor just bolt madly with rough and insensitive riders. Very spooky. Has been noted to run and not stop. Will balk at things she finds scary (vDiff chimneys!) but can be coaxed through them. Loyal, sweet and willing in the right hands. Can write grand prix research papers.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Faceman (Nov 29, 2007)

Mature ApHC Hall of Fame Appaloosa snowcap stallion with a few good years left. Easy breeder and well behaved, but live cover only. Four gaited...lay down, walk slow, walk fast, and shuffle. Does not like being tied up, but picks up feet, gets loaded real easy, and is an easy keeper. Bean-free, and still has most of his teeth. Price dependent upon buyer. Free to show home with large broodmare band.


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## Endiku (Dec 6, 2010)

LOL, I love these you guys!

For sale, lease, free- or whatever else might get her off of our property- Young 1995 mare. We don't really know what breed she is, but with her height theres got to be some pony in there. We're guessing Shetland because of her short, stubby legs. Stands at about 13.2hh at the shoulder. Bay roan with blue eyes, has absolutely zero show potential. Slow, thick headed, and not very agile. Would be best suited for looking pretty in someone's yard or trail riding if you don't go faster than a walk and wrap her in bubblewrap first. NOT an easy keeper- she's gotten us to where we talk with the vet on a first name basis. Isn't fond of being petted, and doesn't really like children unless theres something wrong with them. We call it a gift. Can be quite the sucker though and will work all day for you if she thinks it was her idea first. Good luck with that though. Selling for $0.50 OBO. Heck, we might even pay you to take her. Just hurry up and call us before she runs into another fence or finds another dangerous animal to play with.


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## Saranda (Apr 14, 2011)

Lol, this is so funny! Let me try:

A spirited arab mare for experienced owners only. Good conformation, an endurance prospect, can move for hours, if you want to catch her. Not suitable as a broodmare. Flashy, although for no apparent reason. One hind leg lame, heart disease and might be blind in one eye. Dislikes other horses, needs breaking to lead, bombproof, but shouldn't be exposed to sudden movements and noises. Aggression and bolting issues have been experienced, so selling to a good home asap. Could be a great kids horse with proper training.


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## RiddlesDarkAngel5 (Jun 2, 2009)

Lol great idea! Heres my try:

Delicate, tall mare for sale around 15.3 hands. Well broke to ride, but is kind of afraid of everything so needs experienced rider  loves children, but wont tolerate harshness or bullying under saddle. Very affectionate and would do best in a home with another horse. Priceless, but make am offer!


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## lilkitty90 (Nov 11, 2009)

Young Red Roan( red head with a farmers tan!!) Filly. has yet to be broke, she likes to play hard to catch. LOVES to bed petted and groomed and pampered. she picks up all feet to be manicured. loves to eat but is very athletic. would make a great jumper prospect. loves to sprint but doesn't have much endurance so may be good for barrels or poles. this filly loves to be out in nature so she would make a good trail mount. she is great with dogs, sheep, and all other animals. she prefers to have some company as she doesn't like to be alone. she loads well, but has issues tying. she hates being confined to a stall and prefers to be out in the open where she can run and play. buy her today and start her your way!


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## Britt (Apr 15, 2008)

Lol... This should be fun...

For Sale:
1990 model grade bay mare... possibly Walking Horse mixed with some Quarter. Very fast and bold. Been used as a trail horse only. Hates foals and would not be a good broodmare prospect. Very stubborn, if she decides to not do something, you won't be changing her mind. Very agile. Would be good for barrels or poles. Not very patient and gets bored easily. Prefers to be in a pasture as she hates being confined to small spaces. Extremely picky eater and tends to lose weight around the beginning of the year, but puts it back on pretty easily. Looks more like a Walker with long legs and a slender build. Has a short and wild mane and tail... there may be a little Mustand mixed in somewhere.


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## Endiku (Dec 6, 2010)

Too bad we ARENT horses, eh? With all of the cannibalistic and foal hating mares, we'd have the horse population down in a jiff!


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## Rascaholic (Oct 4, 2010)

Free to good home, ok free to ANY home. Who am I kidding, we'll pay you to take her! $50.00 to the first person who shows up with a trailer!! Ok you can show up with lead rope and walk her off, just get her gone!

Aged mare half grey and half pally TWH/QH/Arabian/TB/Appy/and maybe elephant. (Depends on camera angle of the hind quarters.) She is gaited. Well she shuffles after a hard days work anyways. Will work from sun up to sun down, but she won't like it. Starts each day with a willing attitude. (Willing to kick you in the face for disturbing her.)

She got the QH hind end (or elephant, not sure so I listed both) She has the attention span of an Arab on a bad day. The flighty kicky, high strung temperament of the TB. (She will bite, kick, and misbehave to get her own way) And if you look up Appytude you'll see her picture. 

She has been broke to ride, but doesn't like it. She WAS trained in dressage (Got kicked out of the program for kicking all the young studs.) She will put up a fight if cornered. She is THE alpha mare. Doesn't mind youngsters, on the other side of the pasture. 

She is an easy keeper, but picky eater. Only the best will do for this DI.VA (**** irritating & viscous attitude) We tried her as a broodie but she only took once, and was a difficult foaling (grade A fine colt, Not a package deal, we are keeping him since he has grown up so nice.) Mare-ish behavior got to the point we had the surgeon take care of the problem forever, now must have hormone replacer therapy on a REGULAR basis. Don't skip this folks, it's a nightmare, literally.

She leads great, when you are going her way. She ties, if she doesn't want to move, tie her up and she'll stand all day. She bathes, loves to soak in the pond on a hot summer day, with or without you. She don't care. Stands for the farrier, she likes having her feet done, but is very particular about who, when, and how. 

Easy loader. A couple shots of tequila and she is well loaded. She is an in your pocket kinda mare. DEEP in your pockets gentlemen. *Please note she is expensive to maintain and is not above going in your pocket to get what she needs. 

Come try her out. Hell, just come take her home with you!! Need her gone ASAP as she is kicking the barn apart because we tracked mud in the isle. She is NOT for the beginner!! She is not child or husband safe.


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## Brighteyes (Mar 8, 2009)

6-year-old bay and white pinto mare. Pony cross. Stands 14.1 hands, but strong enough to carry small adults. Easy keeper with TOUGH bare feet! Broke to drive and ride. Totally not spooky, fearless, and will take care of her rider. Has had lameness issues in the past ((due to terrible comformation)). Great weekend trail horse and babysitter. $300


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## Lins (Nov 8, 2011)

Saranda said:


> Flashy, although for no apparent reason.


LOL!!!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## hberrie (Apr 28, 2012)

33 year old mare who has been set out to pasture and has put on a little weight. With the right person she may come along nicely, but needs a gentle and honest hand. She is smart enough to know the difference between green riders just lookin for some fun and someone who is worth the effort for the long haul. Loves trails and anything in between. Very versatile. Has foaled two excellent fillies but is no longer interested in being a brood mare. Would be happy with right companion, but is just as content being alone. Make offer.


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## VanillaBean (Oct 19, 2008)

Forgot to add to mine - 

Has loads of back and neck issues and needs chiropractor weekly. Left hock should ideally be iced daily due to excessive cracking and shooting pains. Paws when upset...or happy...or angry...or hungry...

Mare is very afraid of enclosed spaces (ie trailers, stalls, arenas...), thunderstorms, spiders, and movements. Any movements. Has an ifinity for finding and stepping on shiny objects.

Hehe


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## Misty'sGirl (Oct 22, 2007)

21yo liver chestnut grade mare. UTD on all shots, but desperately needs to see the farrier and have her teeth done, we can't afford it. Fine for confident beginner but does get a bit mare-ish at times. Great for relaxed trail riding but too much of a plodder for any sort of competing. Make an offer!


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## sommsama09 (Oct 28, 2010)

1994 foundation bred mare,
Palomino and should mature 16hh
Is too stubborn fro her own good and her stubborness can cause fights with her dam, which is why she must go.
Goes all day, very competitive...
HATES little kids, so not a kids horse.
Fairly low maintainace, though does like cheese and LOTS of crown mints.
Also has been eyeing off western saddles with bling...
VERY competitive so not suited to someone who cannot hang on.
WILL rear up and strike out at prissy geldings.
WONT tolerate non horse people jerking at her mouth and kicking her sides.

Free... or paying to take away at ones own risk... 

LOL :wink::rofl:


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## Shoebox (Apr 18, 2012)

If I was a mare... Hmm... Let's see.

This stocky horse is a 1992 cross breed. Light fur and a bit short with a gorgeously long mane and tail. Can get a bit nasty to those she doesn't get along with, but is very nice and social upon warming up to the others. Definitely more of an alpha than a follower, and is not in the best of shape. Should probably get her teeth looked at. With some work could become a great riding horse, but right now is having none of it and bucks off any who try to ride and is generally a stubborn mule of a horse when she doesn't want to do something.

Asking to trade for something that won't kill me when I ride it, like a tractor or something.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

1992 Leggy Appaloosa mare for sale. Nice hind end :wink:

Amazing at ground tying.. she'll just stand there forever. Great loader! Has a great sense of humor; real gentle and sweet but does require a gentle hand as she does not do well under force-handling.. has dumped me many times on my ***.

Quirky personality, looks best in navy blue.

Clips real well.. gets mareish when her mane gets too long and will attempt to rub on the fence. 

Has no interest in foals, but may make a great broodmare someday. Eager to please, puts her heart and soul into everything she does. Loves going on trail rides, and does well in the ring. 

Does well with other horses and animals, not dominant but not a weenie either. 

Has been schooled on the basics but really sucks at jumping. She can't even clear a ground pole so if you're looking for an eventer, look elsewhere. 

She's barefoot and prefers it that way. Rock hard feet. In good body condition, has a lot of endurance. 

Make an Offer


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## CurlyIsASpecialStandie (Jul 19, 2011)

1995 Imported Dutch Warmblood mare. Very glossy dark bay.

Approximately 16.1 hands long legged with a solid hindquarter and a flowing mane, requires shoes, many pairs.

Thoroughly enjoys being brushed pampered and washed, reacts well to loving and the gentle approach. Try the rough approach and your on your own, can hold grudges for a long time. 

Shows no interest in foals, but foals tend to follow her around.

She will stand tied for short periods of time without getting impatient. Can get hot if not worked for a while, can be very mareish dont get on her bad side.

Great movement and loves to be working, will make an excellent competitive horse, not for occaisonal trails or pleasure riding.

Make an offer.


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## DrumRunner (Jan 26, 2011)

I have to say..when someone said "In foal to local stud" I DIED laughing.. 


LOL Oh Lord.. This should be interesting..

1988 bay mare, 14.2. Really nice feet, UTD on all shots and vaccines, teeth cleaned regularly...Amber is a registered QH/TB appendix mare. She has the height of a foundation QH but a more narrow build like a TB.. loves water, loads with no problems, ties..Very fast, willing, loves her job but can be a little impatient..She can get a little head strong and hot but any experienced rider can handle her with ease. She is good with beginners on the ground, but in the saddle is doesn't tolerate beginner mistakes. She is a picky eater, hard to keep weight on because of her eating habits. She does have to have seizure "supplements" but they are very controlled and cause no problems.. Amber does have allergies also.. She does carry the Satin Gene though, her coat is always super shiney and healthy looking..


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## BubblesBlue (Jun 29, 2010)

A 1996 registered bay Quarter Horse mare for sale. She is quite mare-ish, doesn't get along with many other horses and takes no bullsh*t from any rider. She's a sloppy horse and is found covered in dirt/mud most of the time. Don't take a stupid stud near her for she will either kick or bite him. 
Currently hasn't been hauled to the vet yet for an injury but is up to date in her vaccines. 
She is really good around cattle and hunts them. She's finished in poles and barrels and has been competing in High School level rodeos. 
She's small and compact at about 14hh, but has been out of shape due to not been exercised enough though can still compete just fine but runs out of gas quickly. 
For experienced riders only! Is not good with little kids, might accidentally eat them if they are not supervised. 

Will trade for a mare with better disposition who can be kept around studs and children.


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## xJumperx (Feb 19, 2012)

*16hh Jumping Paint Mare*

1993 Paint mare. Large for her breed, stocky build. Very active - does not like to be stalled. Prefers to eat constantly and move around. Not very mare-ish, unless you tick her off. Loves to jump.still has a lot of spunk in her, and willing to work for a loving owner.

Mine isn't very funny x.x


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## sjwrightauthor (Feb 5, 2012)

Here we go.... LOVE this thread, by the way. (mine's not that funny either)


1970 grade mare roaning out. Has produced two great colts, both of which are smart as whips (they didn't get their brains from their dam). We've let her keep her last foal with her for five years due to a birth defect of the foal. She's a great Mom, but enjoys trail rides occasionally away from the little one. Loves water. Tends to daydream a lot. Teeth in good shape, but she's not the prettiest mare on the block. Likely to get marish during her special time of the month. 

Would make a great babysitter and/or pasture companion. Does great with goats, sheep, loves dogs and cats, but not very social with same species due to rough circumstances as a yearling. If you put in the time, she's loyal and affectionate. Not in the best of health. Needs retraining.

$2.00 OBO


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## WesternBella (Jan 7, 2012)

I am selling a 15yo Buckskin mare.
16.2hh, stocky build, long legs & huge hind end. Needs occasional chiropractor visits and daily massages. UTD on vaccines, farrier & deworming. 

Has been worked on barrels from age 4-9 (1D & 2D) From age 9-12 she was used for Western Pleasure and is now back to barrels/gymkhana again. This pretty little mare has placed every event she has done and brings a cheque home every time we trailer her to a show. 

She knows all the basics and more, she is well behaved, ocassionally spooks and will buck you off unless your saddle has bling, animal print or pink. You also need to give her one treat every 1 minute to keep her happy (you do not want to see her when she's not happy) 

She is the alpha mare & will beat the $&@! out of anyone who gets in her way. Especially her brother.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## caseymyhorserocks (Apr 5, 2010)

I have a good horse. Good broke. *Ridden for 4 year.* Really dont wanna sell but I need money. *2 years old.* Jumps 8 feet. Loves cheezits. Probably could live on cheezits. But would get to fat. And get a hay belly. I dunno anyone feed their horse plain cheezits? Looked online, other real good broke horses are $70,000 so im pricing her real good at $60,000.

Just had to do that! Seen ads like that. Pretty scary.


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## SorrelHorse (Apr 9, 2009)

Alright, here I am, finally. LOL

15.2hh lean built curly chestnut mare. UTD on all vaccines and examinations from the vet. Has been hauled to shows since she was a weanling. Competed mainly in performance events such as reining and cowhorse, has also done some speed events which are her favorite as well as english and equitation classes. A general, well-versed horse.

Bitchy when other horses bother her, but doesn't instigate or enable arguments in the herd. Generally does her own thing. Not super spooky but gets excited and has to move around right before going into the ring, but settles into focus mode right before beginning a pattern.

Enjoys parading around in purple sport boots, headstall, pad, and reins...Whoever said horses were colorblind, lied.

Doesn't required much maitenence. Needs shoes because she has stall-baby feet, and can handle pressure from an aggressive rider. Would be good to pony baby horses behind. Eat absolutely everything yet for some ungodly reason, never gets fat.

Will trade for a docile *stick *horse, as this mare has eaten through my hay (treat,grain, and small children) budget for the next ten years. Open to best offer.


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## Chiilaa (Aug 12, 2010)

16hh '84 vintage mare looking for new home. She has mostly been used as a pleasure ride, but a few years ago we decided we wanted a pretty baby so we could have a part of her now that she is getting on. She has produced three healthy grade foals, still on property so can view. 5 year old son is still entire, filling out nicely and should be quite the heart breaker. Her two year old fillies (twins!) are maturing nicely and are a pleasure to handle. The mare is an easy breeder, caught first time both times.

This mare is fairly placid, but might be considered lazy by some. She likes a nice airy walk in/walk out type stall, with a nice green pasture. She is very lean, so needs constant attention on her diet to ensure she doesn't lose any more weight. Could probably do with a few more pounds. She is good to float, in fact she seems to like being in the float all day long. She is really good to shoe, she always seems happiest when she has some shiny new shoes.

I would recommend her for a breeding home, she loves foals so much but we just can't afford to breed her again. We would be happy to negotiate services to our stud, he has produced three nice foals over her before now, so we know it's a good cross.


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## Skipka (Feb 10, 2011)

He he, love this thread :rofl:

Here's mine...

Free to home (any!).

Aged (very) mare born 19..... (we're pretty sure it wasn't 18..... but no guarantees) 

Backside of a QH, legs of a Shetland but still has lovely glossy dark mane (see thread on dyeing horses manes). Has bred two strapping colts, but those days are long past (thank goodness!), so now very calm and no longer mareish. Loves foals and all animals, so would make excellent babysitter for your youngstock (no danger of them being eaten).

Food - yes please and plenty of it. Loves to laze about in the sun and the occasional gin would go down well. Loves to wear pink and have episodes of ANTH (Americas Next Top Horse) streamed to the barn, so she can remember how she used to look - well in her dreams maybe! Still has her own teeth and has good feet. Her back needs regular massaging - every day if possible.

You may think this old girl is past her prime, but she can still turn her hoof to a bit of showing. No poles or chasing after cows please, but put her in a Trail class and she can still bring home the ribbons!

Years supply of gin included.


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## NeuroticMare (Jan 8, 2012)

"Special horse for sale"

'83 maiden mare. Stocky 15.3hh bay QH mare. Excellent bloodlines. VERY easy keeper! Still enjoys eventing at lower levels (read: weeny) but also a nice canter through the woods. Old injury on right hind fetlock but works out of the stiffness. Had colic surgery in 2011 but completely healed. Heaves, allergic to hay and dust. Hates bugs and mud. Neurotic, but loveable. Weaves when stalled.

UTD on shots, teeth and shoeing (was going to try Eponas, but mare seems to do just fine in Ariats and Sketchers).

$1500, must be sold by FRIDAY or we are taking her to AUCTION.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

NeuroticMare said:


> "Special horse for sale"
> 
> '83 maiden mare. Stocky 15.3hh bay QH mare. Excellent bloodlines. VERY easy keeper! Still enjoys eventing at lower levels (read: weeny) but also a nice canter through the woods. Old injury on right hind fetlock but works out of the stiffness. Had colic surgery in 2011 but completely healed. Heaves, allergic to hay and dust. Hates bugs and mud. Neurotic, but loveable. Weaves when stalled.
> 
> ...


Want!!! But I offer $2000 for a secure home asap! :lol:


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## StarfireSparrow (Jan 19, 2009)

1987 stock type grade mare. Will work hard for a soft, firm, steady hand but will not hesitate to bite or kick if offended. Generally pretty even tempered, but will get marish without warning. Touchy back due to injury, but is fine with regular work and good fitting tack. Gets along well with dogs, cats, children and other horses, though is usually towards the top of the pecking order. Has been pasture ornament recently and needs to shed a few pounds. Very easy keeper. Loves the farrier. Ties, bathes, clips and loads with ease. Never bred, though we have thought about it. Lovely tan buckskin with luxurious, black mane. Asking $800 or may trade for younger model.


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## Breella (May 26, 2012)

(I decided to go with one of those "worst horse for sale ads")

Free to a good home:

24 year old Maiden Mare. 1/4 horse, something native american and some european in there, not sure what the other two 1/4 are. Her mane and tale are thin but shaggy, however she cleans up nicely. Overweight and needs serious work before she'll be show ready. Good "nurse" horse with young foals.


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## candandy49 (Jan 16, 2011)

Love This Fun Thread!!

For Sale: A 1949 model chestnut mare with some leg and back/spine issues that have rendered her as a pasture ornament/puff only. She does have a history of successful foaling, but one time only. This mare has had experience with boating/water sking, tournament tennis playing and soft ball league playing. Virtually a been, there, done that individual. This horse is priceless...make offer and will go from there with maybe negotiating a dollar amount to sell or trade for all the tea and rice in China.


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## Lakotababii (Nov 28, 2010)

For sale:

1991 model grade Dutch bred palomino mare in foal to German bred stud. 15.2 hands tall, and (at the moment) fairly wide. Not spooky at all. Has done jumping, barrels, and can be ridden English or Western. She has completed extensive ground work and is a joy to be with on the ground. Will give you her best at anything she does. LOVES trail riding and water. She loves a good bath in the middle of a hot summer day (with a good roll afterwards of course) Needs an experienced rider as she will test anyone that rides. Is a one person type horse, definitely marish at times. Once you have her trust she will work her butt off for you. VERY picky eater, she will snub just about anything you give her and it changes daily so good luck with that. She has a fairly good conformation, slightly short backed, with really long legs. Very athletic mover. Needs her feet done soon, but has had A LOT of vet checkups this year due to being pregnant. Healthy as far as we know. Vet checked to be carrying a colt due in October :lol:

Will trade for some pickles and ice cream :wink:


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## Spirit Lifter (Apr 23, 2012)

If you don't come get this darn horse for free than it's going to slaughter! Not good for anything.


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## roljess (Oct 19, 2007)

1991 BAY TB x MARE. 
Enjoys a challenge especially doing many different things. Has worked cows, evented, foxhunted, done some gaming and hunter/jumpers. Prefers cross country- full gallop & jumps everything, just don't get in her way. Likes things done her way. Eats everything. Also over thinks everything. 15.2 hh, tends towards stocky and muscular when fit. Alpha mare. Fun mare, willing to do whatever you want if you take the time and keep her interested! 
Maiden mare, not sure how she'd do as a breeding prospect, seems to like foals but only for short periods of time. Very picky about other horses however, so finding the right stallion may be difficult. 
Trailers alright, gets grumpy on long hauls. Good for farrier but needs shoes! Worries about the vet but is well behaved. 
Allergic to dust and mold (and lots of other things). 
Also some creaks and cracking noises from her joints but seems sound most of the time.
Picky about who her 'people' are. Needs experienced horse person. 
Current family thinks she is priceless  Make an offer!


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## MissColors (Jul 17, 2011)

1992 model 17.2 h palomino draft x leopard/frost Appaloosa mare. Has years to go! Extremely hard working. All around alpha mare. Will stand her ground but with the right owner and bribery she will come around. Has not been bred but a good broodmare prospect. Herd leader. Pushy toward most mares. Protective or defensive, not really sure. Has royal blood lines. Has a tendency or to create trouble when bored. Must be stalled at night or will sneak out to canoodle with the stallions across the fence at the neighbors. 

Trail ride like a champ, morphs into a fish when in water, very competitive, fully trained western speed and western pleasure, shown western pleasure with ribbons, and started English. Tested out a couple of jumps did well with 1.5 ft potential to go higher. Has ground driven with lots of potential. Could use a refresher training as has been played with off and on since 2000. Thinks for you some days, thinks one step ahead of you some, and plods along others. Loves free or line lunging. Neck reigns. Light contact. No spurs, will flip over on you. Good all around horse for all disciplines. 

Very stiff in the morning. Needs feet done. "ticklish" when cleaning out her feet but will have them picked up and serviced. UTD: on shots, coggins, and teeth. Needs a chiropractor to come visit, BADLY! Stands tied, trailering, clips all great. Bathes extremely well, did i mention fish? DOES NOT TOLERATE BLINDFOLDING. Does not care for face being touched. Loves Chinese food, sweet tea, and seafood. Allergic to pine and straw. Does well when things are in the slack side of life. 

Needs someone who can love her but not work her to death every second. Needs someone who is affectionate. Needs someone who will be patient with her astray temper tantrums. But she will love you like no other.

Asking $6900.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MissColors (Jul 17, 2011)

SpiritLifter said:


> If you don't come get this darn horse for free than it's going to slaughter! Not good for anything.


I'm sure its good for something. Even if a lawn ornament. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Spirit Lifter (Apr 23, 2012)

MissColors said:


> I'm sure its good for something. Even if a lawn ornament.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks! You know, I'm talking about me not the horse! Maybe I could make a good couch ornament! Going through a tough time here lately!


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## MissColors (Jul 17, 2011)

SpiritLifter said:


> Thanks! You know, I'm talking about me not the horse! Maybe I could make a good couch ornament! Going through a tough time here lately!


I know.  But it's not about the saddle you sit in, its about the journey traveled.  

I'm in a rough patch too. I understand.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Spirit Lifter (Apr 23, 2012)

MissColors said:


> I know.  But it's not about the saddle you sit in, its about the journey traveled.
> 
> I'm in a rough patch too. I understand.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Well said. I lost the love of my life this weekend. Not to death, but more complicated.:-|


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## MissColors (Jul 17, 2011)

I'm sorry sugar. But I can promise you that your are moving onto far better things. The trees are dense right now. But you will see the sun soon.  Its just going to take a couple strides. I know everything in the end will work out. (Friendly) <3
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Spirit Lifter (Apr 23, 2012)

MissColors said:


> I'm sorry sugar. But I can promise you that your are moving onto far better things. The trees are dense right now. But you will see the sun soon.  Its just going to take a couple strides. I know everything in the end will work out. (Friendly) <3
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Thanks. I hope so. I keep praying. 

Sorry for interupting this thread for posting my sadness.


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## Jumperforjoy (Mar 8, 2012)

Hahaha way to funny, I will give it a try 

1986 chestnut grade Ukraine Warmblood mare, stands around 16hh, has a REALLY long back and short legs! Not great conformation wise, but tries hard.
EXTREMELY easy keeper, please do not over feed as she will eat it unless its gross, then will outright refuse to eat.
once given a job will work all day until the job is done, trained to jump but not to high, not SPOOKY but If allowed will be extremely lazy when it comes to "stall" cleaning but will keep tack and self well cared for and clean.
Has had one colt half Ukraine WB crossed with Irish Draft, colt is well put together but a touch wild and crazy but fairly easy to train. Makes an alright broodmare but would greatly prefer to get back to work then stuck in broodmare herd.
Please make a offer she just needs a job, she is going crazy stuck in stall with offspring.


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## azwantapaint (Feb 5, 2012)

Too funny!
70something model stallion, quiet, bombproof, kid safe trail horse.
Well, sorta.
Severe John Wayne streak evident. Rough, tough, speaks softly, known to kick stupid people without warning.
No Doc will come within half a mile, as the least doc that saw him got drilled in the chest with both barrels.
Super smart-just s ask him. likes his ears scratched.
Don't feed him beans! You won't like the results!
Trade for a YooHoo and a ho-ho.


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## Rascaholic (Oct 4, 2010)

azwantapaint said:


> Trade for a YooHoo and a ho-ho.


Ok this trade is right up there with the kitten :clap::rofl::rofl:


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## MissColors (Jul 17, 2011)

Lol. I sent my ad about myself to my best friend. And she said she wouldn't even take it if they payed her. I forgot to tell her it was about me. ;P
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## corgi (Nov 3, 2009)

1969 chestnut mare. Stands at 15 hands. Very easy keeper. Tends to gain weight easily. Recommend a grazing muzzle. Should not be used as a brood mare. Shows no interest in being a mother. Not a kid's horse...does not have patience for children...probably due to many years as a lesson horse.*
Perfect horse for beginner adult rider. Will walk, trot, and canter when she feels like it. Loves to be groomed and have her mane brushed. Does not like standing in mud so will need dry shelter. Prefers purple tack.

* i have been an educator in a public school system for 21 years!!


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## liv885 (Mar 16, 2012)

Haha classic!

Here's mine...
For sale Australian Stock Horse mare. Dark bay with star, stands at 15hh. Very stocky horse, very easy keeper and doesn't require any hard feed to maintain weight. Currently out of condition but getting educated on flatwork by trainer, will need some more conditioning before jumping. She previously has jumped up to 80cm competitively and is lovely to hack out, a little spooky of loud noises. Previous injury on back hock, slight scarring but it doesn't have any effect on movement cleared by vet. Not for beginners as need a firm hand and gets a bit competitive against other horses.


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## GoWithTheFlow (Mar 9, 2011)

Love this ! 

Nice 15 hh 7 yr old grade Rocky Mountain horse mare with nice hips and leggy . Nice balanced confo .Light Sooty Buckskin mare with dapples year round (from the sooty gene) . No markings or socks ,but has a scar right above her eye from trailer accident as a yearling . Loads and trailers well , loves to be groomed , barefoot (NICE tough wide feet) , and has a nice long thick mane & tail .Nice smooth gaits and will trot if qued correctly .Hides from studs ,and ingores geldings ; as she is slightly shy . 

Has a good bit of experiance for her age; this girl is broke . Advanced beginner safe ,because she doesn't like yanking or hanging on her mouth . LOVES trail riding ,and would make a great competitive trail horse .Has a little confidence problem ,but fixes it's self with a confident rider or another confident horse . Loves foals ,and is very playful once she has bonded with another horse . Has a slight gimp if worked too hard ,and more likely if it's in deep sand . But with a day off she's good to go the next day . Kinda lazy ,but with conditioning it goes away . Easykeeper ,stays the same weight year round on grass hay, pasture 24/7 ,and a vit/mineral block. Not ribby ,and not fluffy . Has alot of heart and gives her all . $3,000 firm!


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## Leahrene (Jul 29, 2011)

Lol. Ill try.
15h all around mare, 7yrs old, brown with freckled face, splash white, bald face and blue eyes. Sunburns easy. Long and thick mane and tail. Has jaw problem, so bitless only. Does well with it. No breeding, does not do well with foals. Very timid and shy but goes through and over everything on trail. Does good with beginners, good teacher. Needs forward rider. Does well in shows, english is her forte but goes western too. 
Call for price.

If I was buying, id stay far away from me. Lol.


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## minstrel (Mar 20, 2012)

This is so much fun!

1991 warmblood type mare, around 16.2hh, bay. Very enthusiastic and a hard worker, although not known for respecting personal space. Good keeper, although currently well muscled and fit, does put weight on quickly when out of work .

Suitable for beginners under supervision, but has tendency to get confused if aids aren't properly applied. Would make great lead file, hacks alone or in company, loads well but not the best traveller. Needs plenty of turnout or vices develop. Doesn't bite/kick/buck/spook but can be hard to catch if she doesn't want to be caught. Not a fan of the vet. Best kept with geldings as tends to get beaten up by bossy mares. Not mareish.

Has done a bit of everything, particular potential in showjumping/eventing although needs a confident rider over more complex cross country combinations. Has done some very nice dressage but likes a bit more excitement.

Overall a nice prospect, very willing to please, but could be easily soured in the wrong hands - just coming into her prime now and needs a quiet, confident, experienced owner to learn from. Price on asking including full (very large) wardrobe - no time wasters please.


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## AnitaAnne (Oct 31, 2010)

Very aged German warmblood x light bay mare for sale to good home only! Was 17 hands, appears shorter now. Nice short back with long legs. A bit of a potbelly right now, and mane a bit thinner than when she was younger, but still a good mare.

She has done many thing since we've owned her, including trails, driving, barrel racing, hunter/jumper, and Dressage. Experienced show mare. Will ride in arena or trails, but can get erratic when worked on roads, especially if others on the road. Has produced a colt an a filly over thirty years ago, both very nice but high maintenance like their mother! Also has a couple of teen filllies, which need a lot of schooling. (would consider letting new owner have these too)

Not being sold as a broodmare because she has been refusing all stallions for a few years now. Plus I think she is too old.

Very easy keeper! Owner must keep all treats locked up from this mare, especially chocolate!!! Will eat most anything you want to feed her, not a picky eater at all. Could loose a few pounds & will need to get back in shape for optimum performance. Still has some good years left though! 

Very marish at times, must be in charge and will challenge newcomers. Best for an experienced rider because she will definately try to get away with things. 

This mare likes her stall and will become very angry if the bedding is not soft enough. Messy in the stall, would be best to have hired help. Was spoiled when a youngster so likes to be waited on. 

Shots & vaccines up-to-date, needs new shoes frequently, could use a teeth cleaning. 

This mare is high maintenance, prospective owner must prove ability to maintain horse in comfort. Loves to travel but happy to stay home. Active, but prefers it "to be her own idea", so do not force her! Still has lots of buck in her if you tick her off. Can occasionally turn on people for no apparent reason, but usually good-tempered and eager to please.

Recently sent to be reschooled, has been at trainers for 3 yrs, but now graduated. Ready for new career. Make offer, home more important than money.


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## Cinder (Feb 20, 2011)

For Sale: 15 year old TB mare. 

Currently being trained to jump. Has jumped up to 2'5" and has shown potential to go higher. Leads, clips, ties, and loads well. Is great for the vet and farrier. Needs shoes on all four hooves. Easy keeper but can be picky. Needs to lose a few pounds and is at her best when worked at least once a day. 

This sweet mare needs an intermediate or advanced rider to reach her full potential. She will not rear, buck, or bolt. She is simply in another world the majority of the time and will often seem surprised to learn that she has a rider on a her back after all, even near the end of the lesson. Should be doing bounces and ground pole work at least once a week as she can be clumsy and needs reminders that her hooves will not magically go over everything on their own. 

Can be spooky but will only flinch, and if she's given a few seconds to get over it she's fine. 

Is not an alpha by any means. One time we found her in the pasture kicking herself with the other horses standing by and seeming to laugh. Will be bullied if put in with dominant-type horses. 

Is UTD on shots and worming. 

Has a sweet attitude and is (mostly) willing to work with some motivation. Can't be bothered to do anything difficult on a Monday. 

Selling for $500 and a plate of chocolate chip cookies.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

This thread was GENIUS! You guys are so funny I laughed my tail off!

FREE TO A GOOD HOME:
1980 Mare, AppaloosaXIrishWB X PaintXIrish,French,GermanWB 15.2hh, Brown, stocky, flashy with darker ridiculously full mane and tail. Super low matenience, gets fat off air, hard feet, refuses to wear shoes unless she has to go out in public. Has done just about anything but best as a reliable, sure footed trail horse.

As for vices... Needs to be watched around the bottle, can get cantankerous if allowed free rein, has been known to trot on a few tables! Prefers to be left alone, can be nice in public but I'd watch her around catty, snooty, herd bound mares. Has been known to put them in their place. Has thrown an INCREDIBLY rare almost genetically impossible Pali filly that looked nothing like her, she is priceless. Do not intend on breeding this mare, she could potentially kill the stud in the act! Is unable to be bred again due to potentially life threatening complications. 
Despises other mares foals and barn cats, has been known to bite, kick, and neigh really mean at them. Best to be pastured alone or with an older, richer gelding. 
Pretty easy to keep, requires immaculate conditions, but nothing fancy. 

This mare will drag you through hell and back if you treat her right, push her too far for too long and she will EXPLODE! But that's only happened a couple times. Happiest out in the wild, barefoot, carefree, with really cool people. Tack her up in bling or loud colors and she'll REFUSE to move, better to just ride her bareback without a bit. LOVES cool music played in the barn, dances really wild with the music. Gets creative around in the barn, watch her with paint, you might end up with tie dye walls....

She's happy where she's at, but if you can put up with this come get her! The local stud would probably REALLY appreciate it!


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## HarleyD (Feb 12, 2012)

These are hilarious. So I just haffta join in...

For Sale 1978 model mare American Indian Buckskin and German warmblood cross. About 16 hands and very stocky. She is VERY mareish cause she was worked hard and put up wet in her younger years. So she now prefers to take it easy and pick and choose her events. Enjoys trail rides, swimming and hanging out with other horses and their people. Only wants to be rode by mature riders, does not want anything to do with young immature ones that dont know what they are doing. There is absolutely no way that she could be an instruction horse. If you treat her right she will do anything for you even though she may balk some at first. She would be great on a mini-farm cause she loves all kinds of animals. 
She has a very well mannered 10 year old stud colt that refuses to leave her side. So it would HAVE to be a package deal. Asking $2500 or best offer by the best looking man.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

Hah! Like I could ever be sold at a price that anyone could afford!


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