# Tiny Things, a Tiny Journal



## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I had another journal, about riding Z the Irish Sport horse. but, that journal is so old the system won't allow me to continue posting to it. so, starting a new journal.

Z is not in my life anymore. it's a sad story, but his owner took him to Colorado. sad for me, but good for her and good for Z, who is now working at a horse therapy barn, helping all kinds of folks, including war vets who need all the good things a horse has for the soul. Z is perfect for that. perfect.

I am not riding as much, though still riding. that back pain issue has just gotten worse, steadily, and changed how I ride. not nearly as fast anymore. riding a different horse, X, a funky Andalusian.

but, I also sometimes ride, care for and play with a friend's horses. this is a video of me playing with one of them , T, in the round pen. she is a Kiger mustang, and the nicest, smartest mare I know. mind you, this is just play. I am neither training her, nor exersizing her. just engaging her.


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## anndankev (Aug 9, 2010)

Subbing


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

Lovely horse


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

rode out yesterday with some friends. we are all middle aged ladies, and one of the three has been battling cancer for a few years now. she is struggling harder now, and speaks a bit more candidly of her mortality, having said that her horse will become the property of the third friend, "someday". 

got me to thinking about how the word "someday" has a totally different meaning to each of us. for someone whose is battling a potentiall terminal disease, someday is really a solid thing. it has meaning and reality. for me, it's been a different thing all my life, always morphing, never really having a clear enough shape that I could visualize it, and aim for it. 

what does someday mean to you?


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## KigerQueen (Jun 16, 2013)

excuse me while a spazz over the kiger XD! My dream horse!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

spaz away! she is IS the nicest horse on the farm, bar none. I've never ridden her, but she is a trail horse extraordinaire, and has more personality than is possible, you'd think.


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

She's an absolutely stunning mare. Someday once meant some intangible time in the far future until my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Now it is anything within a two year time frame including tomorrow and later today.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

My definition of someday is 'I am definitely going to do something (in my mind anyway) but as of yet no plans.' Those plans can eventually be well thought out or can be very loose and spontaneous. 

That leads me to a question. If it's too spontaneous and loose, does the opportunity pass right by you without you even realizing it?


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## Hoofpic (Aug 23, 2015)

Great read  shes cute, i love mustangs.


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## Saranda (Apr 14, 2011)

T is totally my type of horse, and, although I'm nowhere near you in the world, I've done my research and have fantasies of owning a Kiger, if I ever come to live in the USA!

Funny, your voice is just like I had imagined.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

LoriF;9195210
That leads me to a question. If it's too spontaneous and loose said:


> of course! I am sure they do. just like miracles pass by us all the time. it reminds me of the line in "Grand Canyon" about miracles. .. . . you'll have to find it /watch it yourself, where she says something like "what if miracles are happening all the time, all around us and we just don't know?"
> 
> anyway, one thing I have learned about opportunities is that when we choose NOT to take one , assuming that since now isn't such a good time for us and later, when it comes back our way , like some kind of Halley's Comet making another regular pass at us, we'll take it then . . . THAT . . . opportunties usually DON'T come back. at least not in the same form, so we don't often recognize them.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

oh. while I tend to wax philosophic , at times to a gagging degree (go ahead, slap some sense into me), I hope to not lose the general focus on the horses.

if anyone wants to ask me about my wierd round penning, or critisize it, I am way, way open to that.


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

My mother died very suddenly in her mid 40's and even though my grandmothers both lived long and quite healthy lives it still destroyed my vision of a 'someday' as being some time in the vague future that I would one day reach. I don't have a lot of patience when it comes to waiting for anything and tend to more take life as it comes, one hour at a time


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

*berry pickin' summer's day*

instead of riding, I chose to spend 3+ hours meandering the local park where I normally ride to pick the wild blackberries. these are the native type, not the gigantic and invasive Hymalayan blackberries. these run on small snagging vines along the ground and are small but intensely flavorful. it took me 3 + hours of meandering and bending over with my weak back to pick enough for perhaps 2 pies. will be really special for the 4th of July picnic!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

did I mention that a couple of weeks ago I went with my family to the Olympic Peninsula , to Sol Duc hotsprings, for a short vacation? the idea was to get the 4 of us , with our big 'boy' about to go off and become men, and us parents going into empty nest life , to have a couple of days with us all together. 








so, we went off to one of our old fav places.

look at the size of the trees. I'm a big woman, and look at me in relation to those trees.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

The berries look yummy and worth the effort. Love those succulents in the background too. 

The big trees are beautiful. I haven't seen old growth forest since I left the west coast, I miss it. One of those someday things for me, to go back to where I started from in this lifetime. I hope I can get there while I can still enjoy it.


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Yum! We have wild black raspberries here in New Hampshire, and it seems like it's going to be a good year for them. I am keeping an eagle on the bushes as they ripen-last year the birds beat me to them!!


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

I've got nets draped over all of my fruit bushes, blackcurrants are close to ripening now and the crows just love them - and the blueberries


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

We were stationed for a few years on Whidbey Island, in Puget Sound. I spent most of those years away from home, but my wife's fondest memories of those years was of picking berries with our kids. That, and parties where people would search for crabs, then the crabs would get cooked, the adult partiers get a little crocked, and berry pies were on the menu for desert!

Not many crabs or berries in the southern Arizona desert, sad to say. But I don't have to scrape moss off my roof, so for me it is a wash...:wink:


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

today I rode X out with this new person at our barn. I've sort of taken her under my wing. she's a competent rider and she and I enjoy about the same level of speed . well, we would if I felt 100% certain that I could trot and canter X to my heart's contect. in any case, her mount is older than X and has some mild offness issues. we think it's arthritis, since he has been this way for years and he's 29 now. he does like to go, on the trails, he just hates the arena, as does X.

so, we took the hrose down into the lower 40 acres of the farm. i'd only done this once before; ridden out where the herd roams free. it's just so nice to go over somenew ground. and, I carried a whip and when the loose horses came to show too much interest, i waved it in their faces. 

so, we went up hill and dale, at one point I bailed on going down a pretty steep, soft hill. I have a mortal fear of X falling , and this was so steep and loose ground, and I just think I am so heavy for him. so, we had to do some back tracking to avoid the hill.

after an hour there, we crossed the street and rode another hour or more in the state park wooded trails. we did lots of small trails, over logs and such, and plenty of short trots. I am building up X's stamina and exploring how ready he is to trot or canter more. the hroses were blowing tired on the way back. what a great ride! I am tired, but just so happy.
I only wish I had taken some pictures. I still have to get used to the idea that I now have a good smart phone and can take good photos and videos with ease.


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## Saranda (Apr 14, 2011)

My current smartphone is slowly reaching its' end and I'll definitely buy my next one with a better camera for this exact same reason - taking the clunky, big camera on rides is too much of a hassle and uncomfortable to use while riding. 

That's some beautiful nature you've got there, TL, and I would love a handful of those blackberries!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

*weeks later . . .*

I probably shouldn't even bother with a journal. it's not like a have a horse to chronicle our development together. it's not like I'm training a horse, or a rider, or taking lessons. 

so, what am I doing? and is it worth writing about? well, it might be worth writing about, but worth READing about? h m m m . . . don't ask, don't tell.

so, what can I append ? . . 
I did get to ride a new horse the other day. I went with a friend who wants to find other opportunities to ride . she does not have ahorse now, and responded to a craiglslist ad for someone to work some ladies horses. I went with her to check this out (my job being to tell her if I sniffed a true flake or not. at 59, I have extra sensory flake detecting skills, that she , at 27 does not)
no real rock bottom flake, but a lady that has a lot of horses and not time. so , we picked two and I worked mine on a leadline and rope halter for a bit to see if I could feel out what sort of horse I had. poor thing, he was distinctly confused and irritated that we'd interepted his guaranteed non-stop pasture life. anyway, I had to spend some time getting him to line up to a mounting block, and then I rode for a bit. small , foundation qh, very deep sand arena, and 200lb rider. NO! will do no more than a walk for fear of suspensory injury.

we went to another location and worked abit in a nearby field, where I could do a few mild trots. while I did not get some very acitve movements, what pleased me was that I was able to plug into the training ive had in how to feel out and connect to a horse. so, I felt proud that I rode a new and green horse successfully. and, helped my young friend (half my age) to lunge a ****y mare. she has the skill to ride pretty, and I know how to handle a hrose on the ground. good team work.

that was last Wednesday. 

yesterday I participated in a poker ride. rode with my friend who is battling cancer. we were in the saddle about 3 hours, where I lead on X.(X is a horse). X was awesome! he's become a very good boy at 17, and a very good trail horse, and I tried to create a good pace for my friend , who used to be able to ride me into the ground, but now is not up to that. She's still a great rider, even nauseous on chemotherapy. I fear the reality that she may not be my respected mentor for so much longer. Cant go there. cant go there.


worked this morning as the volunteer gate keeper at the local saddle club dressage schooling show. so fun to see the riders, but to be honest, I see so much bad riding, poor horsemanship, and pure ignorance of horses in these dressage shows. folks just see the dressage test, not the horse in front of them. I managed, just barely, to keep my mouth shut. a triumph of will and age making me a tiny bit 'wiser'.

so, not like it's a progressive 'report' on something developing along a regular trajectory, but that's how my life is. NOT in anything resembling a straight line.


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## Wallaby (Jul 13, 2008)

Hey, I like reading about your life!


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

Please keep up the journal. You are a good writer and your entries are interesting.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

well, if you can tolerate the above entry, you might be able to tolerate this one. 

I spent , so far, two of the summer's weeks working as a camp counselor! the barn I ride out of does a kids pony camp for several weeks each summer. the kids are ages 5 to 11, with most of them being 7ish or 8. they get to ride the ponys, on leadline, and love on them and learn about them, but most time is spent in other play activities , either in crafts, or farm fun. 
crafts is my specialty, so I am like the "grandmotherly" Craft Lady. here is my description of what it's like:


_My description of what it’s like working as the craft counselor at the kids pony camp this week past._



As for me, I’ve spent the last 4 days doing the crafts counselor work at our barn’s pony camp. The kids are very nice, and many of them are returnees from past years. My job is to man the craft area and to guide them through at least one craft activity each day. I say “guide” rather than lead, because they come to the table in broken groups, so I cannot stand up in front and just lecture the crowd through it as you would adults. And, the attention span is a whole ‘nother country. so, I just surf the chaos and somehow, we get the satchels sewed, the wool dyed, the horseshoes painted , etc.

They are all very good natured and seem to have a great time. For me, I am answering questions coming from all directions and helping them (from 14 to 25 of them at any one time) and just going as fast as I can. It literally sounds like this:
Caroline! Oh, Caroline, Excuse me, Caroline , CAROLINE! Can you help me Caroline, Caroline, oh, Caroline Caaay r oooo liiiiiine. I’ve never heard my own name called so many times .
Today, I helped with the crafts , but our craft activity didn’t last long enough, so the kids became a bit bored. I don’t mind them being bored, and I try to engage a couple here, a couple there with silly things like “hey, let me tie your hands behind your back and see how long it takes you to get out” (something the boys love), and “let’s draw a full length silhouette of you on this butcher paper. Lay down while I do the outline”. Or, just sitting and chatting with them while they do some small handiwork. I am struck over and over again that what children want , above anything else (except to be loved), IS TO BE HEARD. They feel so fulfilled to have an adult listen, without interrupting, to have the adult ask questions or in some way validate their experiences. I think this is the thing that makes me so successful with the kids; I try to find a way to listen to each one. Sometimes I can’t catch that place when they’d like it, so I try to remember to circle back. And for some of the shy ones, I try to create it (with mixed results). But, if it does happen, I try very hard to not pop that bubble by saying too much, judging , criticizing, or rushing them. For that short moment.

What I noticed is that some of them really enjoy some kind of repetitive handiwork. The girls were carding some of the wool we got from the sheep. The boys like to do things like try to carve apples with sharp sticks. They are more active in chasing games, or throwing things. When left to being bored, almost all the kids generally find something to do. And it’s cute to watch how they pair up, or form a small group and talk with each other, so intently , as they wandered over the field, or played in the teepees we had set up, or went to swing on the little rope swing under the apple tree. I was telling someone that I had read that being bored was essential to bringing children into a creative frame of mind. That, perhaps, rather than necessity being the mother of invention, boredom is.

These kids are the children of generally wealthy , working parents, most at Microsoft or Google, many Chinese or Indian immigrants, and yet, they did not once speak of their computer games. Only one boy took out his phone to play on it, and I told him, “no electronics” we let them play music if they want, no headphones, but no electronic games. He was accepting of that, if a tad miffed, but he was soon off doing some small thing, in a bored sort of way. Figured it out himself.

We went down to the pond, picked berries (and watching them work through the problems of how to get around the stickers, and assist each other was very engaging to me.). I had forgotten, . . why, I have no idea . . . .that children are very deeply engaged in learning how to form relationships with each other, and the friendships they have are VERY intense, emotionally.

Anyway, we cooked marshmallows on the fire, actually told scary stories (another interest thing, as the kids jumped at the chance to stand up in front of the group to tell a story. They LOVE public speaking!), some of them waded into the mucky pond and then we all piled onto the tractor and trailer (an amazing number of little bodies on this thing) and we pulled back up the hill to the barn. 

I had to push pretty hard to get 5 minutes of clean up from them, but I insisted, and kept on each one to get them to do some of this task. And then we ended out the day and the week by giving them the horseshoe that they had decorated, with a photo of them glued on the back, so that the horseshoe is a picture frame. We had each child come in front of the group, as we all sat on the grass (dodging the horse apples and honey bees), and the counselors gave them their ‘prize’ and said some things about each child that were specific to them, their triumphs and their best behaviors. They were stars. 

So many good activities, in a relatively small setting, relatively unorganized, and relatively cheap.


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Fun, love the horseshoe frame idea, may steal that for our kids camp!

Another one that's been a big hit for us is to put up a horse measuring stick on the wall, and have them measure themselves in hands. Then they can do all sorts of charts and graphs, arrange themselves in ascending/descending height order, find the horse that's closest to their height in hands and draw a picture of it...I'm sure you're more creative than me so could probably think of other things to do with it


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

this week there is not camp. I am trying to be "good" and get some things done at home, but am hopelessly disorganized and terminally lazy. what's the cure for that? GO RIDING!

I wanted to go for a long alone ride, but my back kept up a stead string of insulted messages , so I gave up after only one slow hour of walking. got an apt with the massage therapist tomorrow morn.
here's a short video of our stroll.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I had some gently misgivings about the fit of X's saddle. I think that since he has muscled up much more, (he used to have marked hollow behind his shoulders) I wonder if the tree points aren't digging down into his shooulders a bit. sometimes I think I feel ver slight bridging. but, I am a known worrywort, so I doubt myself. here's a little video I made. it's hard to see anything, I know, and especially since the thing that is just a tiny bit concerning is the mild lack of contact in the middle of the saddle tree, where it's too dark to film.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

What a beautiful area to be able to ride, love the video. Lol, I ought to take a video of where I get to ride if I didn't have a trailer to make you ecstatic that you have what you have. Picture flat, boring, cabbage and corn fields. Oh, and potatoes.

That saddle seems to fit reasonably good actually, it's a bit dark to be able to see the middle that you are pointing out though.

I've been reading your thread but just now commenting. I hope your friend is doing better. Enjoy her, cherish her, love her, but don't be afraid for her. I know it's hard.

Keep on with your journal, your a really good writer.


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

The saddle really looks quite good to me. Is he ever sore anywhere? Any serious dry spots after a ride? With a saddle that appears to fit that well, I'd have to go off other signs that it wasn't fitting. If there aren't any, then I would try not to worry.

Your trail in the video looks very beautiful and peaceful. 

Your journal is very interesting.

It sounds like you are very good with children. I'm not, although I do like kids a lot. Somehow my brain isn't wired right - I'll never forget to feed an animal (or the elderly) on time but kids don't trigger a "take care of me" instinct and when the responsible party comes by they point out all the supposedly obvious things I should have been doing or not doing. I think I forget I'm not a kid and just start getting engrossed in the play. At a camp like that all the kids would disappear and the adults would come back and find me working hard at the horseshoe art. Or it would morph into something inappropriate like we'd be throwing paint at the horseshoes, getting it all over and I wouldn't realize that was wrong until the "real" adults showed up. By the way, when is camp? JK 


> I was telling someone that I had read that being bored was essential to bringing children into a creative frame of mind. That, perhaps, rather than necessity being the mother of invention, boredom is.


That's very interesting! It could be healthy to be bored once in awhile to encourage creativity.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

@LoriF. Don't make me cry.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

gottatrot said:


> It sounds like you are very good with children. I'm not, although I do like kids a lot. Somehow my brain isn't wired right - I'll never forget to feed an animal (or the elderly) on time but kids don't trigger a "take care of me" instinct and when the responsible party comes by they point out all the supposedly obvious things I should have been doing or not doing. I think I forget I'm not a kid and just start getting engrossed in the play. At a camp like that all the kids would disappear and the adults would come back and find me working hard at the horseshoe art. Or it would morph into something inappropriate like we'd be throwing paint at the horseshoes, getting it all over and I wouldn't realize that was wrong until the "real" adults showed up. By the way, when is camp? JK


Don't feel too bad about it, that sounds exactly like me


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## DanteDressageNerd (Mar 12, 2015)

From what I can tell the saddle looks like a pretty acceptable fit. To me it might bridge some, it looks harder on his back in the rear panels but it's definitely not a bad fit. It looks like it fits him pretty well. 

The possible tight spots are in the rear panels and perhaps through the channel of the panels. I know for Dante saddles are usually too tight for him through the stirrup bars because he has such a broad back and when he rounds his back it pinches. Dante usually gets pinched through the panels. But I think this saddle is a pretty good fit and asymetry in horses is very normal where it fits a little differently one side to the other. I know Debbie Witty flocks symetrically and will shim for asymetry. Foam isn't as adjustable but overall to me it looks like a pretty good fit. 

The trail video made me really home sick because I used to ride out on trails all the time and a lot of them looked something like this. I'm from Portland, OR-Vancouver, WA. I think hacking-trail or field riding is so good for their brain. I wish I still had close access to something like that. It looks so pleasant and X looks so happy.

But the kids and camp sound really lovely as well. I think you're right. I think a lot of kids just want to be heard and not diminished. I love kids too, especially the kids who are inquisitive and kind.

But I like the idea of boredom being the mother of invention. I remember when I was kid, we spent all the time outside and making up games or stories. Sometimes I wonder how much we're hindering kids with constant entertainment and toys which require little imagination or creativity.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

so very true^.

the thing that makes me feel good, when thinking about the kids, is that while their world is so very different than what we grew up in, THEY are still the same. I do wish them the very best.

if you get up this way, I'll find you a horse and we can do trails until you are bored silly!


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

You deserve a medal for working with kids like that. I wouldn't have the patience.


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## DanteDressageNerd (Mar 12, 2015)

I hope so. I'm glad their parents are encouraging them to spend time in nature or outside. I hope they learn patience and perseverance. 

Haha I don't think Id get bored but I appreciate it! I miss trail riding. The west coast has some great trails. I did a weekend trip in Florence and went on a mountain trail, down to the beach that was pretty amazing.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

well, then I shall perhaps relax a bit on the saddle fit thingy. I just wondered if it wasn't a reason X doesn't like going downhill, and is irritated about trotting, too. yet, walks out like a steam engine on flat ground.

today, I wasted my second day in a row. really. I mean, like the whole day.

of course, none of YOU GUYS would ever do anything like that, I'm sure.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

not horse related, but I saw this and thought it was made for video. for movement and film.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

tinyliny said:


> today,  I wasted my second day in a row. really. I mean, like the whole day.
> 
> of course, none of YOU GUYS would ever do anything like that, I'm sure.


I NEVER waste my days, LOL NOT. I've come to the conclusion that sometimes being lazy is not such a bad thing. I've have actually planned lazy, do nothing days before. It's amazing how if you gear your mind up for that, you feel like you've accomplished something.

My job is crazy sometimes. Erratic schedules where my body doesn't know whether to be up or down, high stress levels, hard work at times. I find it interesting that when one of my co-workers retire and then they show up six months later just to say hi, they look ten years younger with a beautiful smile on their face. Rest isn't always a bad thing.


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## Rainaisabelle (Jan 2, 2015)

I'm going to back track sorry !
I'm only 20 but my own mortality is constantly on my mind, I am absolutely terrified of death it's one of my worst fears.


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

Every time I vacuum the house and DH walks in and hay drops off him everywhere he walks I wonder why I waste my time
I also wonder why I waste my time washing poo stains of K every day when I know she'll be lying in another pile as soon as she can.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Hi all.

I don't keep up on my journal becaue it's not like I am training a hrose or waiting for a foal or anything else that has obvious progression. instead, the only thing I can post is where my brain goes wandering. if you you find that amusing enough, well then, here it is:







while this is my journal, and I get to post any ol' silly thing, I invite you all, my legions of readers, to post any bit of interesting opining that you might want to share in written or video, or photo form , here. this place is for thinkers!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

had a short ride today on X, with a couple of friends. one of them is my good riding buddy, who is battling cancer. we only walked today, only one hour. this is the friend who 2 years ago could ride me into the ground. and now, I am leading , at a walk, and hesitant to suggest we even take a trot. . . . it's so unfair.


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

Didn't want to like that post, very sad. I'm glad your friend gets out riding though, it seems like that would be very therapeutic.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

Glad you got out for a nice ride with your friend, I'm sure it does her a lot of good to get out when she can. It can be difficult to do that when chemotherapy is dragging you down. It's pretty neat that you are so supportive of her, she needs it. I think that one of the best things you can do for someone who is really sick is to imagine them in your minds eye being healthy, vibrant and alive and giving thanks for them being that way. That's kind of my form of prayer.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

Looking at the video of Xerxes...bandit would FREAK if he was there! Trees surrounding him. Trees more than 10 feet tall. He grew up where the tallest plants tend to be around 12 inches, and gets claustrophobic in spots like these:








​ 
In fact, that had him tense enough that we exited the wash about 50 yards down to calm him.

Sorry to hear about your friend.


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

I think living in CT when we first came here made me feel rather like Bandit does when he's surrounded by trees - had the same effect on one of my sons.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

there are two kinds of trails in Bridle Trails State Park, where I ride; moderately wide ones, and very narrow ones, but they are all under the cover of 100+ foot tall trees. interestingly enough, many of the horses that are used to riding there are actually happier riding on the very narrow trail, such as in my video. the wider trails, (like where the trail itself is 6 feet wide and the trees are trimmed back too, creating a more open feel) they will be more apt to spook. I think that any trail that requires them to constantly be bending around trees and watching their footing for roots keeps them occupied so less time worrying about the surroundings.

that park is only mildly hilly, and offers NO place to get a scenic view. I remember when my mom went to live in Pennsylvania for a few years, and I went to visit her, I found it hard to be comfortable , under that incessant tree canopy. how is it different from the forest here? well, most of our forests are on hillier land, with open areas that allow a person to view outward, and since there are mountains on both the Western and the Eastern horizons, one can usually get a sense of where they are in the landscape.

whereas, in Pennsylvania, the forest canopy was always down over your head, closig out the sky, and few hills to afford any kind of vista that might help you get oriented as to where you were. I felt like I was underwater with all the green over my head, all looking exactly the same and no way to know where I was. it made me feel claustrophobic.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I rode today, and yesterday, with a new riding buddy of mine. she is half my biological age, so, doesn't get phased by the physical aspects of riding that phase me now. I got her a ride on a different horse, one of my friend's horses, one that I thought she'd like since he's big and a big mover, too. and she did enjoy it. I hollered out some suggestions, but in truth, I was just a bit jealous as she easily cantered him around and around, doing what is really hard and scary for me now. 

I dunno. either I'm really declining, or just being a plain wussy. 

but, we were in the saddle a long time, and my back was screaming at me by the time we dismounted. I think we rode nearly 3 hours, with a 20 inute break in the middle. I am BEAT!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

well, I rode three times in the last 4 days. admittedly, only one of the three was really vigorous. on that ride, we did a lot of hills and trot/canters. X only canters short distances, and sometimes, to show me how he feels about it, it's canter spiced with tiny spicy bucks up of the hind legs. always catches me by surprise.

the last two rides were slow and contemplative and lovely. I need that, as there are a lot of stressors in my life right now. so many things changing. but, time on horseback is ALWAYS good for the soul.
weather her is really nice. a bit hot, but cools down at night. very dry. the land is panting for water. you wouldnt' think this area, famed for it's rain, could be this way, but it is.

here are some fun short vids of time with Xerxes.


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## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

Loving the videos!  So awesome. So glad you've been getting in a lot of ride time too.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

The video feels spooky to me, so I hate to think how poor Bandit would feel. It reminded me of when I lived in England, north of Oxford. I'd go jogging. One part of my regular jog took me alongside a sheep field looking down toward the river. Then I'd turn and go along a narrow road (_aren't they all in England?_) past a stone pub. Doing that, in the evening, with the mist settling in, ALWAYS made me feel like I was part of a werewolf movie! I'd have sworn I could hear the locals in the pub talking about the three Americans lost in WW2 whose torn bodies were found later in the woods. 

I had a 100 lb Shepherd/Collie mix who jogged with me back then (early 90s). I'd look down to see if he was worried...but he never was. I guess he hadn't seen very many werewolf films...but I'm pretty sure Bandit does, at night, in the corral. Then he hides the TV somewhere so I don't see it during the day. But at 2 AM, he's in the corral with Trooper and Cowboy, three horses staring with wide eyes at the flickering screen, learning what happens to horses who wander into the woods...

My jogging companion for many years, long gone now. He was 100-110 lbs, all muscle, and lived almost 15 years. He had outstanding judgment. One winter in England, when it snowed, he spent the entire day dragging kids around the snow riding on a trash can lid. He was over 10 years old then and acted like a puppy. When it got dark, I brought him in the house. He looked up at me, groaned, then slid to his belly and didn't take another step for 12 hours...a powerful, tough dog who was gentle as could be with kittens or little kids:








​


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

what a beautiful dog!

oh, it can be spooky, at times. I remember going out one day when the sky went gray, then purple, then green and a huge thunder and hail storm hit. the woods were very spooky. but, I grew up with forests. I love the green tangle, the smells, the shadows, the mystery and intimacy. I like the desert, too, but it's a whole different feel. in the desert, you are like a spec in the grand scheme of things, and the desert, like the ocean, can do you great harm. the forest is close, and on a more human scale, with places to hide, or take shelter, food (if you know where to find it) and many animals to keep you company. I'll take either one. just don't put me smack in the middle of an 8 foot tall , flat cornfield. then I feel like "let me out of here!!!"


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I wanted to put in a new sub title to this entry, but every time I click on the "reply' button, instead of using hte quick reply window, my computer gets stuck and cannot load it. the forum is still experienceing maddening glitches!

in any case, I wrote this long description of my day today. read if you are bored, or if you like my writing style.




Today was a wonderful day!
I had suggested to Robin, my husband, that we go into Seattle and go to some museums and have lunch on Lake Union. Basically, an urban outing. He suggested that we take a drive up into the mountains, to an old haunt of ours. With the weather being a jewel perfect September day (just exactly as it was 15 years ago on 09/11/2011), we chose the ‘Sunday drive’ option.

Let me digress here for just a bit to say that my husband will go in Thursday for triple bypass surgery. This has come out of the blue, and has been hard for him, for us, to swallow, since he had seemed to be in perfect health for 63. In fact, able to walk me, at 58 easily into the ground. But, that’s another story. The long and the short is that we found the problem. He won’t have the major heart attack that might have left me a widow. He will be ready to walk me into the ground again, in a few months. In the mean time . . . as we await the surgery, we need to do things to keep our minds off of it. And thus the Sunday drive.

So, we head out on this sunny, early autumn day, going north, then east toward Granite Falls. Stopped in this once little town to go to the so-called ‘farmers market’ . Only 5 vendors, but one is the picture perfect farmer; gnarled hands, beefy stature, striped overalls, friendly nature, and firm handshake. What a man! An American original, making it on a small farm selling grass fed organic beef out of a cooler. We bought, we talked, and we enjoyed sharing . Then, Caroline (me) who can talk with literally ANYONE went over to talk with a couple who had a beautiful Eurovan camper, something she covets. She still covets. But, she was able to offer good advice to these folks, who thought an easy day trip to Winthrop might be nice (yeah, like 4 hours each way!!!). it looks much easier on the map than in reality.

Back on the road, we drove up and found a place to pull over to the side of the rode, and scramble down a bank, balance on a log to cross a tiny creek then over a sand bar to have our picnic next to the Stillaguamish river. The sun was blazing, so we could not stay long. I am, afterall, a "Mossback", who has not stamina for bright sun. Scramble back, and the heart sick husband is doing fine, while I am breathing hard. What gives?








Drove on to the Big Four parking lot, and took photos of the magnificent mountain, looming over the meadow. So vertical, that the shadows of space between me and it are bluish, like smoke, and the air dancing with swallows, the ground with fat tourists. (I , who am fat myself, thinking , “oh, please, do not spend your youth fat! You’ll have your whole middle age to do that.”)

We decide to drive on, to complete the drive that is called ‘the mountain loop highway”. This is called a loop because if you drive to the ‘end’ of the paved road, up into the mountains , you can continue, around , on a dirt road, 17 miles and come ‘out’ of the mountains down the next road (roads into the mountains go up rivers. So you go up the south fork of the Stillaquamish river, around , and back out of the mountains down the N. fork of the Stillaquamish river.)

Seventeen miles of dirt road, in a 1999 Honda accord.  This car is slung low, had rock hard suspension, and rather small tires. It takes AN HOUR of constant hawk-eyed driving to dodge the endless potholes, while still keeping up enough speed to get home by nightfall. 
But MAN! What gorgeous, gorgeous, stunning countryside! Forests, hills, sheer cliffs, rivers over chaotic boulder fields. Beaver ponds, leaf scattering alder groves, ancient root knotted cedars, streams that spill across the graveled road, and evidence of winter floods repeatedly washing out the road. No wonder they never bothered to pave this, even though it is only an hour from major cities!

In fact, were this road not a deterrent to most casual drivers, the land would be rampant with people. We saw enough as it was, and we know it’s not wilderness, but at least it’s safe, as Nat. Forest land, from the incessant, cancerous growth we are experiencing in this neck of the United States. It seems nowhere is safe . . . but here.

So, about the time I am dying for paved road, we get some. In to Darrington,


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

more photos of wonderful scenery


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^What gorgeous photos!

Thank you for sharing your fabulous weekend with us.
I wanted, most importantly, to wish your husband a seamless surgery and a quick recovery. 
Him being in such good shape will be an integral part of his recovery. Like you said, he'll be walking into the ground again before you both know it  Sending him kind thoughts and best wishes from Colorado <3


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

thank you , dear. you always show the kinder side of a person.


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

A beautiful read, sounds like a great day and I'd have been happy to ride along in the back seat. I hope that your husband's bypass and recovery go very well.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Another beautiful day! (I don't mean to be bragging about these beautifyl days I keep having. I want ALL of you to have days that you want to brag about!)


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## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

Such beautiful scenery...wow!!! Looks amazing. Oh no, brag all you want- who wouldn't? Love it!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

been busy taking care of my husband, being his advocate at the hospital. he comes home tomorow. I'll be taking care of him at home fairly intensively for a week or more. but he is strong and will be doing things on his own soon.

went for a ride today on X. cool, clear, lovely fall weather. X was jumpy and spooked at several things. nothing big, just a little expression of hyperness. just enough to add spice.


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

Glad to hear your husband is on the road to recovery. It is a difficult surgery to go through, but hopefully the worst is over now.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Husband is healing by leaps and bounds. so, I think I can sneak away for a ride on Monday. my riding buddy who is dying of cancer will be , hopefully, riding with us to a picnic spot and we'll all have a nice picnic with here. she has many freinds who want to honor her strength and good spirit. so hard to know what to say, when saying nothing feels wrong, but saying something small and meaningless is also wrong, and still, is it my right to say anything directly referencing her impending death. I am hoping that I will 'feel' what is right, when it is right, without waiting too long.
I have expressed my appreciate for all that she has done to help me. I hope that means something to her.


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## weeedlady (Jul 19, 2014)

subbing. Beautiful thoughts well written. I enjoy reading your journal. Thanks for sharing. 
_M_


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I am on the board of our local saddle club. I volunteered to chair the planning of our annual awards banquet. I also said I'd do the centerpieces for the tables. ordered these horse head wreath forms off of Amazon. they gave the dimensions, but it doesn't click in one's head like seeing the real thing. 

they are so large they may become an impediment on the table, so we are going to just auction them off, and do something else as a centerpiece. here are the first two I made:


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

if you see this, what do you think is a fair price to ask? the frame is very heavy duty and designed for many years of use, and costs $20. it costs another $5 dollars more or less for ribbons, eyes, beads etc. 
my time is donated. do you think people will happily pay $35 to $45 for them? (mind you , we live in a very inflated price area. think, "New York, or San Fran")


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

Yes, I think you could easily ask $35 or $45 for one of those. Very cute!!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

ok, so the banquet came of as a grand success. we almost postponed to another date, due to voiciferous media warnings of a huge windstorm set to hit right at the time of our banquet. we powered through, wind was nothing special and had a great time! 

sunday, the next day, I was exhausted. my constant back pain makes things like the banquet, where one is standing a great deal, very tiring . so, rested and watched the Seahawks.

today, Tuesday, I got a text in the morning that my friend, and best ridng buddy, and mentor and horsey big sister, had passed away. the cancer got her, in the end. we thought we had more time. we always thing "we have more time". is that a blessing or ?

rode out on X in the wet forest and everywhere I went were memories and shadows of Sue. now I no longer have a mentor to lean on. I guess I'll have to start answering my own questions.


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## weeedlady (Jul 19, 2014)

I'm sorry for your loss @Tiny. What a lovely way to honor your friend--by taking a ride to remember her.

_M_


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## Wallaby (Jul 13, 2008)

I'm really sorry for your loss, Caroline! Big hugs to you.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

Sorry for your loss. The memories will stay, as will her example.


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## carshon (Apr 7, 2015)

So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

a week later. 
things move on. this loss is sad, but it's just one of many that I will see. 
just getting a bit more comfortable with it.

today I took X out for a lone ride. he'd been ridden MOn/ tues by me . . . thurs by his owner , Fri by me and tomorrow, maybe agaim.
it's a continual struggle to try and put some conditioning on this fatty pants. I really salute those of you who manage to keep multiple horses in condition. . . . 


so today, on our ride, I did some thinking about our relationship. of course X does not want to leave. it means work, and he knows it. so we walk down the long driveway and mount up in the woods.

and when asked to trot, he is not 100% 'there'. he's partly thinking toward that time when we will turn for home. then, his afterburners will kick in and it'll be a whole different thing. I know that. I 'm not stupid. but, dang it! I pay part of your bill. you gotta put SOME heart into it, and not get too ****y. 

I ask for occasional forwards, and try to allow a down transition to walk ONLY when he has both ears forward and is NOT fighting the forward. 
it's counterintuitive; we stop just when things get right. the human wants to say ' yes! that is what I wanted!!! now, take that and keep going!!!!!". but, to get the best horse attitude we need to say, "yes!! that is what I wanted! now, you can do whatever you want, . . you've earned it!!" . . . horse slows to a walk . . . 


which one creates the horse who feels like he has a say in things? which one creates the horse who is going to try again, next time someone askes?



it's totally against the human way. requires so much 'trust' in the dividends. do I even have the patience? 



not sure . . .


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

the really interesting part came when we DID turn for home. now, there are many routes that eventually lead to home. this horse, as intuned to the geographical earth as he is, knows which routes lead directily to home and which only slightly less directly. he will chose the most direct route, given no direction otherwise. when he knows I havce asked him to go the route that is 5 mintues longer , I have to get his thought to join mine. this is what I love best about riding him; getting him to give up his shortsightedness and join me in my longer-range vision. when I see his ears tip, his eyes, his mind go MY direction, simply by lifting the hand that leads the direction, it is a wonderful thing. I get just boatloads of satisfaction from that.

it's this idea of putting your rein hand, (and this would be your leading hand if you were working in the round pen, holding a long lead line) forward and asking the horse to THINK forward.

it's this wonderful place where you SEND the horse's thought forward, and you JOIN him , going forward, going 'someplace', with intention, with a rider, . . . . with Me!!!!!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I know I yak on and on about things, and I don't even actually 'own' a horse, so my street cred is low. BUT . . . today, I really was focussed on the whole 'feel' of having the horse recognize my invitation to go forward, . . to "take me somewhere', . . . and how wonderful it felt for the both of us when he joined me on the forward, "let's go there!" sort of mental attitude.


very little is ever said about this, but getting your horse to actually buy into the idea of 'take me somewhere', means SO o o o o o o much. once the horse takes you idea to go somewhere as his own idea, the feel is completely different from 'making' a horse go your direction. I cannot explain, but I can say that when you reach for your horse and try to 'snag' his thought and see if you cant entice him to join you in a more energetic frame of mind, it's simply magical!


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

I strongly agree. That is, I think, what I mean when I say "_Bandit accepted responsibility for X_". Kind of, "_I think we can do it - are you ready to do it together?_"

And when the answer is yes, and he is responding to my request, and we are going forward together! That is magical. And it is also when I feel safe. He'll tackle things with a determination and confidence I hadn't seen before. He isn't going to bail on me. He won't be easily deterred, and if a change in plans is needed, he'll listen with a willingness I haven't experienced before. I find it intoxicating, but I think my horse does as well. 

That is why I've come to love that short passage in a long book by a cavalryman in 1868. It has become like a training suggestion for me:

"_...There is another thing to be considered with regard to the horse's character - it loves to exercise its powers, and it possesses a great spirit of emulation; it likes variety of scene and amusement; and under a rider that understands how to indulge it in all this without overtaxing its powers, will work willingly to the last gasp, which is what entitles it to the name of a noble and generous animal..._"

Horses offer us an acceptance and closeness we don't get from a lot of humans, but I think we offer them the same - when we ride with them. My three horses in the corral cooperate with each other at times, but they aren't really friendly. Certainly not in an unconditional sense. I offer Bandit a trust and a type of cooperation he doesn't experience from other horses, and I think he enjoys those moments as much as I do.

This will sound very silly, tinyliny, so please don't laugh. There are days where I limit Bandit, and days where he limits me. I'm a total coward at times! But there are times, briefly, sometimes, where it clicks. Then it is as though we are out of Greek mythology, a couple of heroes. Anyone looking would see a mixed-breed horse and an aging guy with sunburn and bifocals, struggling to do what a lot of horses and riders would do easily. But inside, we are heroes from Mount Olympus! OK, silly. I know.   But I truly believe Bandit feels it just as strongly as I do. I think we both find it FUN.

After all: "..._Horses don't like to be ennuye, and will rather stick at home than go out to be bored ; they like amusement, variety, and society._.."

:cheers:​


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

oh, that's lovely!!! I like it so much. that , in some way, on some days, me and the horse are heroes!! that's just classic.



Yeah. I think as I get older, and it's harder and harder to do the usual ridden things, one does feel more heroic just doing some small thing, but doing it WELL!

one small inspiration I had is how happy a thing it is to ride in balance with a hrose, and on a loose rein. how much the horse appreciates a rider who does not balance on the mouth and does not impede his small movements made to keep his own balance. you know, when uneven ground means they step a tad suddenly to the right. if I can just 'go with that', he does nothing. but, if I react in any way, I can feel him needing to compensate for my lurch. this 'threat' to his balance is infinitely more irksome to him than any accidental pull on the rein.

I can sense that X is so much happier when I am carrying myself in total balance with him. mind you, I mostly walk or trot short distances, but when I am really, really focussing on allowing his energy and movement to flow through my HIPS, not my waist, not my neck, but my hips, and not bracing in the legs, not having shoulders that swing too much. for me, with a bad back, it takes a lot of focus to NOT brace up in self defense. but when I stay fluid, the horse moves with no interruption, and his energy is way more available without interruption.



last Sunday I went to watch Charlie Snell at a clinic. he is a trainer who spent a lot of time with Ray Hunt, and has worked with Harry Whitney, too. he's the tiniest cowboy I think I've ever seen. but, he talked about how when we send the horse off somewhere in the round pen we ask the horse to 'take us somewhere'. ( he said this about working with the horse on-line, in a round pen. or, offline too.)

I asked him to explain, because it looks like the person sending, in the center of the round pen, is not going anywhere. only the horse moves away.

he said, well, first we get the horse's mind to be WITH us, and when we raise our hand holding the rope, and move it out in the direction we want the horse to go, putting a feel down the line in that direction and moving our hand that way, the horse will think that way. and as he leaves, we want him to 'take us with him' in his MIND. not LEAVE. nor flee. we want him to head out as if he's taking us somewhere down the trail. as if we are going together. THAT is how the linework (in or outside the round pen) translates into ridden work. the horse gets the feel from that leadline of our 'ask' of . . 'now, take me over there", and it's the same feel he'll get when our loose rein, offered forward, says, "now take me over there".

so, when riding today, I just literally advanced a hand, not even holding a rein, forward and pointed toward the path ahead of us, and just sort of 'threw' my energy down the path and that darned horse pushed more energy, a trot, down the path. he felt me say, "now, take me over there!" and . . he went! 
nothing more than that suggestion was needed because he was with me to begin with. AWESOME feeling.!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

*Halloween Costume contest!*

I can't believe it's been two years since X and I were 'Pongo" and Cruella DeVille. time flies. things happen, people are born, people die and we are back to Halloween again. I wasn't sure I'd even do the barn halloween party, since I still feel affected by my riding friend's death, but , in the end, I decided to make a go of it.

X being white makes certain costume ideas more natural. I thought to make him a piece of sushi. or, a bride. but ended up making him into the Tooth Fairy. and for my part (this is a human + horse contest) I was the "Tooth Decay Fairy". 

some photos from the day:


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I literally tried to put lipstick on X's muzzle. uh uh! he said. no way!


here are some of the other contestants:

a sow and her baby pig, a lion, and Little Red Riding Hood and her Granny.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

yes, that IS me. it's a silly hat and a fake mouth . but it looks so . . . weird.


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

tinyliny said:


> last Sunday I went to watch Charlie Snell at a clinic. he is a trainer who spent a lot of time with Ray Hunt, and has worked with Harry Whitney, too. he's the tiniest cowboy I think I've ever seen. but, he talked about how when we send the horse off somewhere in the round pen we ask the horse to 'take us somewhere'...
> 
> he said, well, first we get the horse's mind to be WITH us, and when we raise our hand holding the rope, and move it out in the direction we want the horse to go, putting a feel down the line in that direction and moving our hand that way, the horse will think that way. and as he leaves, we want him to 'take us with him' in his MIND. not LEAVE. nor flee. we want him to head out as if he's taking us somewhere down the trail. as if we are going together.


Great costumes! 

Charlie Snell was at our barn a couple months ago for a weekend clinic. I was working so I didn't get to observe very much but others told me about some of these concepts (He is a small guy, you're right). 

Nala's rider had a private session with him. She wanted help with trying to get Nala better at standing still while being tacked up away from other horses. Well, not much progress yet.  

We were talking about it yesterday and I said it's not such a bad herd bound problem since she can take Nala out and ride her all alone on the scary beach. 
I'm not sure yet what Nala's motivations are because it doesn't seem to be only about leaving the herd, although she is very good when tied up near the other horses in the upper shed area. But if I bring Halla down it doesn't help Nala be calm until we get on to ride out. 

My suspicion is she gets very excited about the work and that the lower barn area always means "excitement." So I would think she'd have to do more sessions where Nala came down and then just did something very calm rather than riding off to gallop for miles. That would require a lot of time and effort though. 

The trainer's idea was to make Nala stop and back up each time she rushed or got antsy, to try to make her calm. I don't know that such a high energy horse pays much attention to that sort of thing. To me it sounded like they spent a lot of time in the session doing that without much progress.

I like the concept of sending the horse to lead. I use this a lot sending my horses through gates and into places when I have two horses I am taking through a narrow place so they can't go side by side.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

my guess is that there is not way to stop that sort of antsy behavior, short of making the horse more fearful of the punishment that will come if she does move, within an hour or two hour session.

a person would have to work with the horse's deep feelings about goihng out. that would probably entail not having every ride be one where you go out, and have an exciting , forward, ground covering ride. she'd have to work small and close , and lots of disengaging of the hind, and small circles and such, things that so work the thinking portion of the hrose's brain that the emotional wave subsides. that cannot be done in one 'lesson'. not if this is a longterm engrained state for this horse.


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

I agree with your assessment. 

Just wanted to say I think this is a great quote of yours from another thread:



> ...don't approach this in an adversarial frame of mind, but rather as a sleuth mentality, to find out what's the issue.


I really like it and think it could be helpful for many people having issues with their horses. It's truly like that, since we can't talk to horses, we have to use our skills of deduction to find out what's going on with them. Instead, we humans often want to suit up for battle.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

thanks, good dear. it's easy for me to come off as superior, since I am NOT dealing with a challenging horse. I truly admire folks who can deal with the worst of the horse. I don't know how they do it. 

but, I also want to offer, (Jeez that sounds pretentious), a bit of perspective from the horsemen/women that I've been privileged to see . . . and they truly think of things different, and because it is not commercial, it's hard to find it for sale out there, or in any videos or online subcription.


my trainer, her mentor. and folks that have worked together and descending from Ray Hunt, and then Harry Whitney, have a viewpoint that is simply not commonly seen out there. 
they are extremely careful not to try and quantify this teaching, and in any way organize, or systematize, in such a way that it no longer can offer the perspective that is simply absent from the vast majority of online trainer or horsemanship gurus. 

this idea is that the horse has a mind, . . he /she has feelings, and any training that does not take that in to account will be missing in a fundamental element of true horsemanship, through feel.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

My response is here:

http://www.horseforum.com/member-jo...g-through-together-622121/page29/#post9533250

It turned into a long and frustrated rant, and I didn't want to derail your journal with it. But:

"_this idea is that the horse has a mind, . . he /she has feelings, and any training that does not take that in to account will be missing in a fundamental element of true horsemanship..._"

Really - how pathetic must we humans be, for the idea that a horse has a mind and feelings, and that we ought to take those into account, becomes exceptional riding! If the way we teach people riding and horsemanship leads to that, instead of starts with it, then what is wrong with us humans?! :angrily_smileys:


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I don't have a lot to report. the weather has been dismal with so much rain. today the sun shone enough for a nice ride. X was glad to see me. he is on a dry paddock now, so only gets out to graze or exercize if I or his owner take him out. I alway greet him with carrots and he gets a big slop of alfalfa while I groom him. when I walk up to his paddock, I whistle a certain whistle I have, and he throws up his head and looks for me. its nice to be appreciated.

the ride was ok. a bit lonely, maybe. I was out to have an enjoyable experience, so we stopped to sniff some horse poo, rode on the buckle pretty much the whole way, and when he decided to baulk when I made him PASS the exit to go home, I didn't swat him. I just kept sort of fluttering my ankle against his side every time he did anything except take just one step in the vague direction I wanted. I took off the legs, then he'd back up, and it was flutter, flutter until he stopped backing. then a soft leg on with a 'cluck and lets go". and more of the same. took a fair while and anyone who saw me might have thought that the horse was getting the better of me. I just wanted to see if I could get him to go along with me with just that low level of annoying negative stiumulus. no big noise or no snapping the rope on his flank or on my boot.

he went. and after a bit, he stopped trying to look over his shoulder. but, he still picked up the pace measurably when we rounded the corner and again headed for home. that's one of the disadvantages of always riding in the same place.

but, my main thoughts were that we have a real nice relationship, and I beleive that every time X has a pleasurable, non-scary, non-coercive experience that ends up with him going along with me, that he has a tiny bit of 'good' memory put into his bank, so that going with me has an overall 'good' color to it.

so, today I put 'good' bits into his bank that I can withdraw on another day.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Been riding twice a week lately. I am so glad to be in a flexible situation, where I can grab a ride at a moment's notice, when weather is good.

it used to be that I had small children, so had to have them either in school or with a babysitter, and then I had to watch the clock and hurry to get a ride in.

now, I only must bow to the weather. I snuck out on Wed, before starting the Thanksgiving prep, but the woods were so dark and wet and cold, it was like . . "why am I doing this? all alone. it's not even fun"


Today, however, it was only lighlty overcast and a friend went out with me. we trotted every place that was good for that, and I got a couple of short but good canters out of X. at one place, he wanted to 'lunge' up a hill and when I let him, he let out a BIG buck while canter/lunging up this short, steep hill. my butt felt cold air for a sec between and that saddle, but I came back down in the right place, grabbed some mane and rode him to the top of the hill. he still has some **** and vinegar in him!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

that day I was riding in the steaming dark woods, I thought about how much I love the woods, even when they are super dark, wet and cold and would seem scary to folks not used to such big trees and encvlosed spaces. It made me realize that only a certain type of native to this area really loves the woods at the lowest time, the darkest time. it made me think of this:

we love things and people that are important to us, like family, but the biggest of loves is when there is no real reason to do so. I have a reason to love my kids, or my parents or husband. it makes it easy to love them.
but, to love something/someone where there is no pre-existing reason to do so, THAT is a great love. kind of like the love of God, I suppose.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

today I rode out with a barn buddy. we have had some nice rides together and she was happy to just arrive when I did, and said, "want company?" and I said, "you bet I do!" so, we each were thrilled to have company.

X was pretty peppy and his inner Andalusian was coming out with plenty of rounded neck, head chucking and attitude, and prancing in place. it was a blast! I would hate to ride a horse that required constant legging to get them to move. X is just a whisper away from going, any time I want. he may not STAY forward, but he does at least depart so very lightly. then, he gets bunched up and worried and starts pogo stick trotting.
oh well. I try to get him to let go of that stuck thinking and focus on FORWARD! we get some, and sometimes not. I am full of good intentions, but just basically a garden variety rider when all is said and done.


after our ride, I had a rude awakening. here's what happened:

I have been lax lately, with X. I've allowed him to just sort of Loooolll around me when leading him. to get ahead of me a bit, to not keep his shoulder off me, to not move over when I say so, etc. So today, going through a gate, I sent him ahead of me, and he stopped just through gate, and I needed him to move his hind over sideways so I could swing the gate into position to close it. he was all goo-goo eyed for some sweet mare nearby, and when I asked, verbally, clucked, poked my finger into his flank, and leaned into him, and he didn't, I raised the tail end of the rope and slapped it against him. ok. he moved over, but I was too far toward his hind end, and not enough control of his head, so , while he moved away, he tried to get me with a swift "na-na-na" cowkick. he did just barely brush my thigh (being real close to his body meant his kick had no real power)

I yelled, shanked the rope hard and fast down on him , and backed him up as fast as I could . I just wanted to make an ugly impression on him and as fast as I could. I don't know if he really 'got' it, though. but, I was now ****ed off.
I realize this is NOT the best way to work with horses, but having been kicked by him once before, and thinking "that's never going to happen again" and , then having it happen again, I felt that I needed to try 'something', at least not just lead him to his paddock. heck, I had been leading him to the place where I let him graze, but now THAT was not going to happen! not right then, maybe after we had some discussions in the round pen.

(I just want to interject here that I wasn't going to the rp to try and beat on him. I knew that by the time I got there, he would never associate action there with his petty kicking. rather, I wanted to see if I could replicate the situation that caused him to kick, and THEN get after him, hard!)

so, we went into the round pen and I repeated asking him to step over, and if he didnt' go promptly, I got after him with the lunge whip, while holding his head around so he couldn't line up to kick me. the lungewhip string is so long, yoiu can't really hurt a horse because the line moves slowly. 

when he reacted to my 'ask' 'now!' to move his hind over (disengage and step away) by trying to kick out at me in petulant reaction he got the line on his hind end. I kept at it until he moved promptly sideways, away from my request , without threatening to kick. then we did some work with him at liberty and I got ofter him when he kicked out when asked to go. 

I so rarely hit a horse. but, this is the fourth time X has kicked someone, so while I probably was mostly just flailing around being angry and petulant , I felt that maybe he needed to see my firmer side. I think he's smart enough to remember. I hope so. in all other respects, we get along terrifically.

I shall have to be firmer with him in the small things, because if I don't, he does things that require so much more of a response, and who wants to have to do that. not me.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I've taken X into the round pen twice now, and he has had some nice tantrums there. before, he would never really let loose in the round pen, but today, he was whirling, bucking, kicking out and then cantering mulitple times around, like resisting my encouragement to jsut taper off down to a trot. normally, he will take a canter, in a ****y manner, and drop out of it as soon as you allow him.

it showed that he really IS capable of a lot more athletic movement than I thought, though, when he carries me he is burdened and not able to move like that. while he CAN carry my weight, it is undeniable that it affects his lightness and speed.


I worked two other horses briefly in the round pen, . . horses that are 'on vacation' and not being ridden at all. I expected fireworks, but really they were fine. I tried not to get them too high, I didn't want them to work up a sweat before cold nightfall.

here's me and Otis:


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

today is the last day of 2016. personally,. it couldn't come fast enough. my dad died in January, then my husband had his heart surgery, and my good riding buddy died, then I had the huge disappointment of seeing , what to me, is the worst man possible elected as our president. I am ready to kiss this year goodbye.

so, I went for a ride today. I round penned X again to see if he was still tenderfooted, as he had been when I rode right after he was shod. no, he moved fine.

but on under saddle, out on the trail, he just does not want to move out.. does not want to trot. he will do it, but his sucking back attitude is worse than ever. He isn't limping, but he jsut doesn't want to move out. I am thinking to try and get the saddle fit looked at by a pro. his owner agrees, though she worries it will mean needing a new saddle and she doesn't want to spend more money. 

I just don't know, since he was moving out ok before the shoeing. he's never , ever been sore after shoeing. 

well, anyway, it's cold and on the edge of snowing. dark and deep winter. but, as I sit in front of the christmas tree and write this, I think this is going to be a good year!

Happy New Year to all!


*MOD NOTE
This journal has been closed due to prolonged lack of participation by the author. Journals that have no active participation by the author for a period of time greater than 18 months will be considered abandoned and will be closed until the author asks for them to be reopened.*


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