# Im just.....exhausted



## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

I saw your post yesterday, but wasn't sure how to respond. Still not, but...

I spent 25 years in the Air Force, but it was different then. In part because it was the USAF & because I was an officer, but in part because the military culture has changed from the 80s and even the 90s.

My two oldest kids enlisted. My daughter went into the Marines at 17. Entered very gung-ho, and emerged hating the USMC. She mostly liked working the flightline, but she was then put in an office & her description matched yours.

My son is still in the Army Guard, but this is his last time. He isn't exactly a model soldier, but his NCOs haven't exactly been model NCOs either. He came back from Afghanistan feeling particularly bitter because he felt the officers were totally clueless. He felt the officers and senior enlisted were betraying the junior enlisted.

That is why I said the military culture has changed. When I was a young Lt, everyone emphasized getting out and seeing what was going on for yourself. When I was in Afghanistan in 2007 on my final combat deployment, the idiots in Bagram thought email was reality. They also had no interest in what happened outside of Bagram. The last thing they wanted to hear was that their policies wouldn't work.

When I started, honesty was prized. There were some butt-kissers, but most of the commanders I had early on despised them. Later on...well, there was far too much of it. By the time I retired, it seemed no one wanted to tell a senior officer the truth. 

On a positive note, your current feelings and treatment could change dramatically with a PCS or change of assignment. I had it go in both directions more than once during my career. During my tour in England, I had 3 commanders in 3.5 years. The first was stupid but honest, the second was outstanding, and the third desperately wanted to court-martial me but couldn't get his hands on the evidence needed. And each change in commander completely changed the atmosphere of the squadron, down to the lowest enlisted. The first guy was laughed at but liked. Under the second, people looked forward to coming to work. Under the third, everyone wanted out. All in 3.5 years.

I'll also add that it also happens in the civilian world. My wife is an RN who was verbally reprimanded for being 10 minutes late. What happened? Well, someone had fired a few shots at the Interstate, so the cops closed the Interstate down while trying to find the shooter. She hit the backup between exits, so it took her an extra 30 minutes to get to an exit and then wander her way to the hospital. The only reason she didn't get a written reprimand was because the shutdown was on the news, and her supervisor probably didn't think she could make it stick.

The same unit cut RNs by 25% while increasing their number of patients, and then started complaining that the remaining nurses were putting in overtime. Ya think?

She was also given a written reprimand for telling a patient care tech to stop texting and get to work on a patient. She was told she needed to file a written complaint and work it thru channels. She asked how that was going to help the patient who needed care immediately, but she didn't get a reply. Unless you consider "That is our policy" a reply...:-x Of course, the written reprimand doesn't include an actual description of what happened, only that she knowingly violated hospital policy.

So some of what you are encountering is simply life. Even if you are your own boss, you will encounter it. The friend I bought Trooper from had an allotment with the BLM. He was running only 20% of his allotment. The BLM announced they were cutting everyone 50%. He said that wouldn't affect him, since he was only using 20% - but THEN they told him the 50% cut applied to whatever you were running, not what you were authorized. So he paid 100%, was only running 20% while he built up, and then ended up with 10% of what he had paid for - thank you, Washington DC. And no, the guy making the decision had never visited the allotments he was cutting...

Good luck to you. I know it is difficult.


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

Thanks for the reply. (and for making through me entire rant)

I totally get what you are saying. I've had the good and the bad....In fact my last Co. commander is the one that told me about the 1st Cav. deal. we literally had a 2 hr conversation on horses and how we both grew up with them and wanted them in oour lives etc. he was by far the best commander i have had.

I dunno maybe it would be better in Hood (where i want to go next if i get to reenlist)

but with the army downsizing, with the way theyre changing, i just dont know if it would be worth it.

i want to stay in, because 1. theres no real civilian work out there, 2. all i have now is a high school diploma so i know i would be going to college and i cant afford it, i know my parents cant afford it, so i need my G.I. bill. and 3. everybody in the unit says "oh just wait till your next station, this isnt the real army the real army is better...." but you can never really know. 


yesterday was just an all time low for me. i dont trust my CoC, i cant really go to my friends with this because theyre all gossip mongers (not condemnig em its just the truth haha) so yall got the brunt of it.


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## Maple (Jan 10, 2012)

I'm sorry, I have absolutely nothing to say that will benefit you in anyway, as I can't even begin to relate. I just wanted to let you know that myself, and I'm sure plenty of others are reading this and hope that things will soon change for the better soon. Something will have to give soon enough and I'd be hoping things go in the right direction for you. 

Also, I may not be from the States, but people like you are what keeps the world ticking. You should feel proud of yourself that you are strong enough to go down this route which many (including myself) would avoid at all costs.


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

Thanks Maple.

Im not trying to sound whiny, or make the army look bad...this is just my personal experience with it, i know everybody in the army has a different experience and everything


just needed to vent.


i hope things get better soon too...i have till Feb of 2015 here and i really dont want the rest of that time to go the same track as this!:shock:

on a bright note....i havnt heard anything about the article since wed. so hopefully theyre in the process of dropping it. and tomorrow i get to go ride so at least theres that haha


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## Maple (Jan 10, 2012)

We all need to vent every now and then, and I know myself that often it's hard to find somebody to speak to who will understand what your trying to say. I came home today venting about work to the hubby and 30 seconds later he said "why are you grumpy". 

Vent away, if well earned and I dont think you have come across as whiny at all.


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## Houston (Apr 15, 2012)

I'm so sorry to hear you're having a difficult time.

I'm in the Army as well. Don't get me wrong: I love the military, what it stands for, and my country. But I can tell you that everyone who serves are not the best of people. At all. Believe me, I have to deal with jackwagons very often. 

There have been times when I am disliked by my peers simply for the fact I was successful or able to get into a class they wanted. It's petty and immature. There is a huge lack of respect in some areas of the Army and it often goes unnoticed. And respect IS a two way street. NCOs need to respect subordinates and vice verse. Officers need to respect enlisted and vice verse.

I'm not sure it will help you, but my only advice is to hold on. Keep to yourself a little more until things settle down. If you're feeling down in your career, just do your job. Sometimes it's too overwhelming to go above and beyond continuously. I know I wore myself out doing it, trying to impress my seniors. After a while I just couldn't keep doing it. Catch yourself, settle down a bit, then when the time is right you can go above and beyond once more.

Good luck to you. I hope things improve.


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

Well,

I got my article today...i had been hoping legal got it dropped, it was supposed to happen on friday but we never heard anything so i was going on the hope that it was dropped....no joy.

i was reduced to PFC, got 14 days of extra duty, and had 1/2 months pay suspended for 90 days. if i get in trouble again in those 90 days they will take that pay. if i dont, they wont.

im really tired of being ****ed off, n hating the army. im tired of being screwed over by corrupt NCO's so im just taking it. im not gonna say a word about my punishment. even though it is completely over kill...they should not be dishing out the max. punishment of a company grade article for 2 minor mistakes. but whatever. im just gonna do my work, do my corrective training, and keep my mouth shut. then ill take whatever weekends i get and go to the ranch.

i have over 2 yrs left here. its gonna suck, but im not gonna quit, i cant afford to quit.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

Sorry to hear the news. Life is often unfair, but it sure hurts when it hits.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Sorry, Op, and I am hoping you have little time left, and perhaps will get a new duty assignment.....or they will.

BSMS-having been a nurse manager, I would suggest your wife go to Human Resources and discuss things with them. I also would suggest that reprimands are not just given for the first offense, at least normally. In other words-I would guess there is more to the story. Legally, in the private sector, you HAVE to follow protocol or get sued. That is just the way it is. I know she is your wife, but I assure you, there is more to it. THe manager has no more time for crap than your wife does, and there are very few people who just love getting up in the am to find something to reprimand folks about.


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

well i have until either March of 2014 here if i reenlist or if i dont reenlist i have till february of 2015 here. the NCO's in question will be reassigned by then but who knows how itll play out....

i just found out my "extra duty" hours....its apparently from when i get off work to 2000 on duty days (mon-friday) and from 0900-1700 on off days....there goes my 4 day weekend....

2nd week in a row that i cant get to the ranch.... only good thing about it....i get off in time to go to the bar with my friends on friday....at least i can deafen/drown my sorrows haha (well cant really drown em im the DD but when we get back....im gonna be oblivious)

i just cant catch a break. at laest its only 14 days....so ill be free on 10 September.....

BSMS- im sorry all that is happening to yall. i hope yall can get it fixed up soon!


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

Be careful w/the bar time.Might be good to put alcohol aside for the 90 days,never know who might be listening to conversations,just a thought.At this point, don't confide in anyone, words can be twisted. Will you get the suspended pay at the end of 90 days? Or is it forfeited forever? When do you get your rank back?


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## Roperchick (Feb 1, 2010)

the suspended pay is basically just a threat. i have to not get another negative counseling for 90 days or they will take it. right now its like a punishment that hasnt been put into effect, and wont be if i stay out of trouble.

im not sure when i can make my rank back.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

franknbeans said:


> ...BSMS...In other words-I would guess there is more to the story...there are very few people who just love getting up in the am to find something to reprimand folks about.


In 3 years, her experience has been that within a few weeks or at most a month after one probation ends, she is put on probation for something else. I'd suggest that if she was doing anything seriously wrong, they'd have fired her after 3 straight years of it. I know I would not tolerate someone I had to put on probation repeatedly.

I told her to contact the state about it. I think she is being bullied from not standing up for herself. I know a couple of months ago she was told she was going to go on report and they might need to fire her...she was tired of it, and told them to get off their butts and fire her ASAP - or shut up. That was the last she heard of it, and a few weeks ago her supervisor was reassigned.

I've had commanders in the military who hated my guts. On two occasions, I was told to obey a direct order or be court-martialed. Both times, I told my commander to put the order in writing, and that I would run it by Legal - if they said it was a lawful order, I'd do it. Both times my commander backed down.

Some of the finest men I've ever met have been my commanding officers. And some not so fine have been.

I cannot know the full story about what is going on at that hospital. I do know my wife has plenty of company on probation, and that I would fire anyone I had like that before the 3 year mark. I also know her patients are nuts about her, because a number have contacted us by phone or letter. One guy was a retired Army Colonel...he invited us to their home so he & I could swap stories.

I fully understand that things are not always what they appear. That could be the case with both Roperchick and/or my wife. But I also know I've had bosses who were liars, cheats, and one who was nuts. In the civilian world, I had one who was a good guy when sober - but that wasn't often. I had another boss who was only on the payroll because he was the owner's son. Many moons ago, when I worked for the US Forest Service, we had a district ranger who couldn't have found his butt with both hands, a flashlight and a map. The gal who did range management was so stupid it was scary. The guy doing timber sales was outstanding. He usually could talk the two idiots into the right thing, and leave them thinking it was their idea. I was a minimum wage hire, but it left me with a strong mistrust of the USFS...which has gotten worse with time, IMHO.

They are out there. And sometimes you just have to keep chugging and try to do the right thing. In my experience, if you do that, then in the long term you will be OK. Cream rises to the top, but it takes longer at times than one would think...:?

BTW - I agree about watching the drinking. Drowning your sorrows can sometimes add to them. And if someone is out to get you, alcohol abuse is an easy bat to beat someone with in the military. Good luck to all!


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## Celeste (Jul 3, 2011)

Can you get VA funds to go to college if you don't reenlist? You could go for a new career. If you really like fighting battles, get a degree and teach third graders. Seriously, you would have summers, weekends, and evenings to ride your horses. Just a thought. I couldn't do what you do.


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