# Why is changing barns so hard?



## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Seriously.
Why is changing barns so hard, even when it's for the best?

2016 has not been a good year for me at my barn. This is 100% a people problem, and not a horse care problem, which probably makes it a little harder to jump ship. I work off my board, which sounds great, except it does tie up my weekends since I have to feed 2x/day. It's 20 horses total, including my 1, so it's not a quick task. The BO has ranged from incredibly generous, to unkind, to flat out MEAN to me, and it's really her actions that make me want to go. A lot of the things that happened took place months ago, but due to an injury and the subsequent financial crunch plus a bunch of personal drama, I wasn't in a place where I could move my horse either financially or emotionally. 

Not really looking for advice, but feel free to throw in your two cents if you have a mind to. I'm most interested in discussing why the decision is just such a hard one to make and act on.

So......even when you find a new barn, and have a general good feeling about it, why is it sometimes still hard to make the leap? I mean, if my horse and stuff just magically appeared in the new barn, I wouldn't be sad about it! Is it because we don't want to deal with the whole bit of giving notice and moving? Is it a case of the devil you know...? Share your thoughts and experiences! There is a bigger story here for me but I don't want to color the thread with that just yet.


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## Avna (Jul 11, 2015)

Pulling up roots and moving and setting up and getting used to a new space is stressful for most people. If you add an unpleasant relationship, personal issues, and whatever else to the mix, it'll probably just add to the difficulty. 

Recommend focusing on how nice your new barn will be, on the practical details of the move, and on self-care -- eat well, get support from friends, get lots of sleep, do whatever helps you relax. Go slow and careful. It really helps. 

Good luck.


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

Agree with Avna.
Also don't look at moving as something you have to do, see it as something you want to do. 
It's kind of a mini divorce. You wanted it to work but it's not so you need to move on.
Remember the new place is your employee. You are hiring them to do a job. They need to impress you more than you need to impress them.
Moving into a new place can be fun. You get a lot of attention & everyone likes to meet the new horse.


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## Woodhaven (Jan 21, 2014)

It's not always easy to leave a place but when I do, I try to leave on good terms with the people there. Always best not to burn your bridges.
It will be good to go to another place and I hope you will be happy there.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

I think a lot of people get too emotionally invested in a place rather than keeping things in perspective. A boarding barn is exactly that, a barn where you board your horse. The BO, while friendly, most likely is not your friend and if she will treat you unkindly she most certainly isn't. When I have had boarders, I have liked them and their horses or they didn't stay long, but they were not my bosom buddies. I appreciated the good ones with the good horses, I would shake my head over the ones whose horses got away with murder or conversely had horses who let them get away with murder, and bid every one a nice farewell when it came time to move. It's a business, even though it's run from my home. I had office hours and rules, just like any other business. I provided the very best care I could for each horse, kept a safe facility and charged what I thought was fair. I didn't give breaks because I liked a person or a horse and I expected the board to be on time. If I had had a boarder who worked off some board, I'd have appreciated the help very much, but would not have allowed that person to become so invested that they felt like they had taken ownership of my barn. 

If your barn is not meeting those basic expectations, then make a business decision and move.


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## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

Of course it's hard, makes it even harder especially when it's not so much about the horses care, but about the people. However, try to stay positive & realize that the new barn will be a new, fun experience & it will be worth it in the long run.  Who knows, you may be way happier there and never look back.
It sucks the BO has turned on you like that. Can't tolerate anyone treating you like that. All you have to do is give notice and call it a day. Don't stress it too much.


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## Chasin Ponies (Dec 25, 2013)

Go ahead and move, give it a couple of weeks and you'll be surprised how much better you feel. I went through this recently in leaving a stable where I had been for 14 years. The quality of the barn and most especially the quality of the other boarders went downhill so badly that I would get a sick feeling every time I drove there.

No more of that and my stress level has decreased drastically at the new place. I find myself actually enjoying my horses again.

Humans don't like change as a general rule, it puts them temporarily out of their comfort zone but fortunately we end up adapting-it just takes a little time.


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## Capparouge (Oct 3, 2016)

Its always hard to move, try to think of the positive and it really is a good thing, just a little patch to get over and you will feel 100lb lighter im sure : )


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