# How do you tell someone to not touch your horse?



## GamingGrrl (Jan 16, 2013)

"Do not touch my horse anymore. I have a certain way that I want him handled and trained, and you're just aggravating his biting problem." 

Id be very blunt about it. She'll probably get miffed, but bluntness sounds like the only option if you've talked to her before.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Shropshirerosie (Jan 24, 2012)

Ask her to have a coffee and a chat with you - go where there is no one listening.

"I need to talk - I know that you are trying to help - but I must ask you to stop. Your ways may work for you, but I ask you to respect me, and stop ANY interaction with my horse.

I don't want us to fall out about this, I want to continue to enjoy your friendship, and for us to have mutual respect. 

Do you understand?

No, I don't want to discuss why, because this isn't up for discussion. Just please respect my request.

Okay?"


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

I think it's past time to go to your BO/BM about this. Someone that this girl respects and will listen to obviously needs to get involved since she obviously doesn't respect you enough to respect your wishes.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Just say it. A girl like this who thinks she is doing well won't get the picture unless you flat out tell her to stay away from your horse. Say that you don't have a problem with her, but that his problem has gotten worse since she has been messing with him. Make sure that she is well aware that the No Touching sign applies to ALL that have not been given special permission.


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## demonwolfmoon (Oct 31, 2011)

Honestly, drama aside..."Don't touch my horse anymore. Ever."

Talk to the BO, state your concerns that she is making the behavior WORSE and mention that you are afraid of your AND THE BARN being liable for any injuries that she incurs.


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## Rocco boy (Oct 27, 2013)

Just state that you dont think striking a horse on the face lightly or otherwise is an adequate way to improve aggressive/rough behaviour ( not suggesting hes purposely acting with any malice). 
Also perhaps ask her if she was to do or say something someone didnt like (say perhaps disciplining someone elses horse haha!) then someone came along smacked her on the nose how would she respond? Not in a friendly way i would presume, Probably more likely to be defensive.(Maybe bite harder derr!!)
i dont understand people trying to trump rough behaviour with more rough behaviour, two negatives certainly dont result in a positive in this situation. 

Goodluck with this, it must be very frustrating for you!!
BE extra firm!! stand your ground you know what best for you and your horse!!


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## Rocco boy (Oct 27, 2013)

As an afterthought though....

IF all else fails perhaps try lightly smaking her nose everytime she dosnt listen HAHA!


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## PrivatePilot (Dec 7, 2009)

It sounds like you've already gone the "Ask Nicely" route, so now I agree that it's time for the "Say Bluntly" method.

Yes, she'll probably get ****ed. If you do it in front of others (I would, so there are witnesses), she'll probably be embarassed as well. But, ultimately, your problem will likely be solved.


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## horselovinguy (Oct 1, 2013)

Some good suggestions given already...

Me, I _am not_ always the most tactful...blunt_ is_ how it is going to come out.

_"Look, he is my horse not yours. He has a issue that I am addressing and it was improving. Now that you have started "training" he has regressed. I am concerned for your safety and everyone else. So,...just leave him alone and Don't Touch *MY* Horse from now on. Thank-you."_
Then leave it alone and walk away...

_This person may be the "trainer" but this is a privately owned horse and you have not contracted with her to "train" him..*.so hands off!!*_

And yes, I *would* alert the BO and BM of your conversation._ 

I _would be hesitant to say the word "lawsuit or liable" as you might then be told to vacate the facility...a vicious horse you know _{even if he isn't but is being provoked!}_


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

As has been said-you have tried the "ask nicely" route, and apparently she didn't get the message. IMO you have limited choices. Either get blunt with her and be REALLY CLEAR that she is not to touch your horse unless there is some life threatening emergency such as, heaven forbid-the barn is on fire, or-move. Period. Not open for discussion, and you owe her no explanations. I would also make the BO well aware of your request so that the BO can insure that this wanna be trainer keeps her mitts off when you are not there, and yes, I would let the BO know that she is making it worse and you are afraid someone will get hurt. Just the facts, ma'am.:wink:


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

IMO you should not be asking her to stop but informing her that she will stop. If she starts messing with the horse while you're there, be firm and send her on her way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## CharliesMom (Jul 7, 2009)

I would be as blunt as possible. She has no grounds to train your horse unless you have a contract with her for training. I had the same problem with boarders feeding my horse treats and grain and him getting food aggressive. I told people to leave him alone and not feed him anything under any circumstances. They ignored me and it caused a lot of problems. I ended up having to move my horse because of other boarders interaction with him. Do not take no for an answer and allow her to contunue to ignore you. He is your horse not hers.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

Agree with everyone .... especially agree with Rocco Boy, haha. 

Time to bring out the bee-atch talk if this moron doesn't respond to you asking her nicely. 

She has ZERO right to touch or handle your horse. It is not her horse and she does not have permission to touch him. 

I'd edit your sign on his stall too, if I were you. Something along the lines of:
"Please do not handle my horse because of his biting problem ..... and that means JANE DOE you are not allowed to touch my horse. Get away from him!!"

It'll be embarrassing to her to have her name on the sign, and everyone's going to know it. 

You've already tried asking her nicely to not touch your horse. Now she has to pay the price of not listening to you. 

Some people are just dense.


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

Where is the BO/BM in all of this?!:?


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## frlsgirl (Aug 6, 2013)

I saw a sign once at the Southfork Ranch in Dallas Texas that read "Don't feed fingers to the horses."


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## stevenson (Sep 12, 2011)

flat out tell her.. Do Not touch my horse . Stay away from my horse. Report her actions to the the manager or owner. If she continues.. go up and in front of her smack her horse on the nose. Tell her, everytime you eff around with my horse, i am effing around with yours. 
Got it ..


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

How old is the person that is doing this? They sound very young...

Regardless, I would flat out approach them and tell them bluntly that you do not, under any circumstances, want them to handle your horse. Period. End of discussion. What a crazy...


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## thetempest89 (Aug 18, 2013)

If being straight up doesn't work, I usually don't have a problem being rude. Especially when it comes to animals, or my animals.

I would probably say a long the lines in a rude voice "Do you NOT understand english? I said don't touch my horse. I don't care about your methods, and he is Mine. Do not touch"


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## bkylem (Sep 21, 2013)

demonwolfmoon said:


> Honestly, drama aside..."Don't touch my horse anymore. Ever."
> 
> Talk to the BO, state your concerns that she is making the behavior WORSE and mention that you are afraid of your AND THE BARN being liable for any injuries that she incurs.


I like the liability angle.
I think it is a very nice reminder to the BO that they share in any problems that may arise. You may even put it in a nicely worded note (bordering on concern) so that you have essentially gone on record.


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## Samstead (Dec 13, 2011)

thetempest89 said:


> If being straight up doesn't work, I usually don't have a problem being rude. Especially when it comes to animals, or my animals.
> 
> I would probably say a long the lines in a rude voice "Do you NOT understand english? I said don't touch my horse. I don't care about your methods, and he is Mine. Do not touch"


Same here. I'm very polite ad live up to that Canadian stereotype but if someone is being flat out ignorant I will be rude. If you're being rude to people Im going to go on the assumption you want people to treat you like that too.


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## PrivatePilot (Dec 7, 2009)

bkylem said:


> I like the liability angle.
> I think it is a very nice reminder to the BO that they share in any problems that may arise.


If I was a barn owner worried about my insurance rates and liability, my response to that would be a return letter giving the horse owner a polite 30 day notice to find another home.

Really, in the grand scheme of things "She touched my horse" isn't something that should become a litigious issue. I'm not agreeing or condoning it, just saying that if someone tried to turn it into a legal issue I'd be asking them to find a new home as I'd be worried "What's next".

OP, how about an update?


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

Oshawapilot, the problem with the gal touching someone else's horse that is inclined to bite is that one day the horse may seriously grab her. This isn't the owner's fault, she has tried to get the gal to stay away from her horse. I rode at a large stable for about 5 years and we never bothered anyone's horse except to clean it's stall or feed. This was out of respect for the owners. It wasn't about ego.


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## PrivatePilot (Dec 7, 2009)

Saddlebag said:


> Oshawapilot, the problem with the gal touching someone else's horse that is inclined to bite is that one day the horse may seriously grab her. This isn't the owner's fault, she has tried to get the gal to stay away from her horse. I rode at a large stable for about 5 years and we never bothered anyone's horse except to clean it's stall or feed. This was out of respect for the owners. It wasn't about ego.


I totally recognize that, however IMHO it still needs to be dealt with 1-on-1. The second one insinuates that the BO is going to be somehow potentially financially implicated (held responsible for injury, sued, whatever) for someone elses actions that are mostly out of his or her control, sorry, but my defence mechanism would go up.

Asking the BO to help with the situation (talk to the offender, or worst case, evict THEM from the facility if the persist after a stern talking to by the BO) would be a much better route. The second one moves to the legal route, sorry, If it was me there would be a "Whoa, hold on here...what the heck is my livelihood and financial well being doing stuck in the middle of this fight?" moment for me and I'd be looking for the easiest way to rid myself of the entire situation.

If a coworker steals my lunch out of the fridge at work I don't run to the boss and tell him that if he doesn't stop the offender I'm going to sue him or his company. That would be a quick way to be shown the door at many workplaces.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I agree with you whole heartedly. It should be dealt with 1 on 1.


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## bkylem (Sep 21, 2013)

I think perhaps my post was either mis-read or perhaps mis-worded. I was simply responding to demonwolfmoon's note concerning "talk to the BO" which I saw as being one on one. I would still bring up the liability issue not as a threat , but rather as a concern (primarily for myself). The BO could allay my fears, but there have just been so many cases in the news where individuals have all but invited an attack from the innocent owner of an animal and still sued. Wrong, crazy, despicable but unfortunately it does happen.
The girl in question need not be mentioned in the conversation, but I would still be curious and want to be informed. It seems only natural that the thought would enter your head and again the BO may be able to allay your fears if such a matter ever arose. Not an underlying threat, but simply a concerned question. It may even already be addressed in your contract. The discussion with the offending girl should still take place, but I would like to understand if I should have any legal concerns if the girl (or anyone) should ever get hurt. I certainly wouldn't be taking a confrontational position. Merely seeking information and it would be presented that way. I would rather have the knowledge now rather than later.


Sorry, if I initially came across a bit harsh.


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## princessfluffybritches (Aug 10, 2012)

demonwolfmoon said:


> Honestly, drama aside..."Don't touch my horse anymore. Ever."
> 
> Talk to the BO, state your concerns that she is making the behavior WORSE and mention that you are afraid of your AND THE BARN being liable for any injuries that she incurs.


I would see red red red! Absolutely light a fire under the BO's ****. The BO will be held liable since you made her aware of the problem. I so agree with demonwolfmoon.


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