# First horse-camping trip was a mess...



## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

But not because of Smoke. He did everything I asked of him, went over obstacles that other horses balked at and was a real trooper. I was so proud of my horse in those moments. 
Just a bit of background for anyone who doesn't know. It becomes pertinent later. I had an accident last summer. I was bucked off and broke ribs and my right ankle. It was my first broken bone and my first horse accident of any kind. I've struggled with confidence issues since then, and I've really begun to make great strides. I even do a little bit of bareback these days, though Smoke is hard to sit bareback. 
About a month and a half ago, I moved into the home of the friend who boards Smoke. I met her in vet tech school, and we're best friends. She got me into horses, and has really been great about teaching me what she knows. I thought, how could this get better? My horse is finally in my backyard, I'm living country, with my bestie... Good times, right?
Well, we hauled to Salamonie State Forest for a camping trip with some friends and 4-H kids. My friend's 17-year-old daughter is in 4-H, so naturally she was there. Ever since I've moved into the house, she's really been not so nice to me, very antagonistic and rude. I've brushed it off, ignored her, gone on my merry way. But I have only so much patience.
The antagonizing continued, until I finally lost my cool, which I'm not proud of. She pointedly informed onlookers that only beginners and bad riders who don't trust their horses on the trail ride Western. I pointed out that while English was fine, it wasn't my cup of tea on the trails, that I found Western saddles to be comfy. She attacked it again, and again, until I finally snarked at her to shut her f*ing mouth. That just because her way is one way does not mean it's the right one, or that it works for everyone. [She's constantly putting down my horse, ie, "he has no personality" or "he has no idea how to respond to the bit"]. I'm actually quite proud of the accomplishments Smoke and I have had lately, and this really hit a nerve. I got angry.
Maybe it doesn't sound like much to some, but try this on top of a month of rudeness. I really have tried to be civil. I loan her my grooming supplies, she slept in my tent, she eats my food... 
We got home and the three of us had a sit down, which turned into a shouting match at a couple points. She hates my "misuse" of tack and equipment, like using a bucket she thought should be for water for Smoke's grain. :? Also, I apparently "annoy" her because I "pussyfoot" and am "in her way" because of my anxiety. I get a bit nervous the most at mounting, and if other riders are to leave me. Smoke is buddy sour, and although we are working on it, if he were to unseat me, that's it. My seat isn't good enough to withstand too much nonsense. I would most certainly come off.
I tried to calmly tell her that what she did hurt my feelings, and that even if she doesn't like me I think she ought to respect me, especially since I'm not a child and much older than her. She said she didn't feel bad, and would not apologize. Her behavior would continue. 
I'm sort of stuck now. I'm living here in this house with someone who really bears a lot of hostility towards me, and they're the only people I know well enough to ride with. I really don't want a repeat of this camping trip... But if I have no one to ride with, and only drama waiting for me on rides, why bother? I just want to have a good time, and this is really making it difficult. I don't see why it has to be a contest, or bitchfest. *I just want to have fun.*

Also, just before the last ride this morning, Smoke start choking. Some grain got stuck in his throat and he was drooling, choking, straining his neck... SO scary. My first encounter of this. I missed the ride of course, and walked him for a half an hour and massage his esophagus. He finally cleared himself, thank goodness. Not really something to be mad about, just nerve-wracking! I'm so glad he is okay. 
I only took one picture, since I forgot my camera, lol. Here is Smoke doing what he does best!








And, if you read this far, you're awesome. Have yourself a virtual cookie.


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## OutOfTheLoop (Apr 1, 2012)

What does your friend do about her daughter acting this way towards you? I know it is her house, and her rules, but I would not tolerate my child acting the way you are describing.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

How does the girl's Mother feel about all this?
Could you move out but still keep your horse there as a boarder?


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## calicokatt (Mar 5, 2012)

I agree, if my 17yr old daughter acted that way, she'd find herself doing a WHOLE LOT of extra chores. I'm sorry if her mom (your friend) doesn't see it that way. It sucks to be in a situation where you can't see an amicable solution. Hey, on the bright side, if you are irritating enough, maybe the spoiled little twit will move out when she's 18?? (Not saying you should be intentionally irritating, of course!)


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

I know my friend must feel like monkey in the middle, between her daughter and her best friend. She makes sure to get after her daughter appropriately when she acts out, especially tonight. But she also thinks I'm being oversensitive.

I think anyone would feel as I do, especially since it happened in front of a bunch of people I barely know. Talk about humiliating.

I really can't afford to move anywhere right now, unfortunately. I have a couple job offers in the works, and if one comes through I may leave. Although, my rent and boarding fee is helping pay the friend's mortgage since she's laid off right now. Sticky situation, eh?


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## horseandme (Jun 4, 2012)

I ride western on a trail and I am very confident! It sounds like she doesnt necisarilly know wat she is talking about,She sounds like she needs to be grounded from her horse until she can act civil. My momdid that to my sister for 2days and she never says anything bad about my moms riding anymore. I know it sounds bad , but trust me it will defintally make a difrence.


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## rookie (May 14, 2012)

For what its worth, I ride western after riding english until I was 20. I find my western saddle SOO COMFORTABLE! I also find that those longer western stirrups make a difference on long rides. I will admit that I feel better able to stay on the right side (read topside) of the horse. Does this make me a rider with a bad seat, maybe, if so I am okay with it. I also think that she is 17, and might be feeling her oats. She thinks she has the world by the short hairs because life has not bucked her off a time or two. I know her words hurt and if I was her mother we would be having a long talk about sportsmanship and being polite. That said, if you like riding and have fun doing it, please don't let one rider with a bad attitude stop you from doing what you like. Life is too short to stop doing what you like because of one persons bad attitude.


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

this is true. I really do want to ride... Just with people who are pleasant to be around. lol

Maybe I need new riding partners. Anybody in the fort wayne area? heh..


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## MySerenity (Jul 18, 2011)

Oh man that sounds like such an uncomfortable situation for you! :hug:

First off, what's with the hate towards trail riding western? I ride english but why would anyone have issues with someone else riding a different style? It sounds like she just wants to be difficult and argue and you are "lucky" enough to be on the receiving end of it. Second, I agree with the other posters in that her mother should really be kicking her butt (figuratively) right now. If she were an adult then, well, difference of opinion I guess. At her age though, someone needs to draw and line and that someone shouldn't have to be you. 

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this and congrats by the way on getting so far in recovering from your fall! It's hard to do and don't let anyone take that accomplishment and the enjoyment it brings you away from you. (Especially a teenager)


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

MySerenity said:


> Oh man that sounds like such an uncomfortable situation for you! :hug:
> 
> First off, what's with the hate towards trail riding western? I ride english but why would anyone have issues with someone else riding a different style? It sounds like she just wants to be difficult and argue and you are "lucky" enough to be on the receiving end of it. Second, I agree with the other posters in that her mother should really be kicking her butt (figuratively) right now. If she were an adult then, well, difference of opinion I guess. At her age though, someone needs to draw and line and that someone shouldn't have to be you.
> 
> I'm so sorry you have to deal with this and congrats by the way on getting so far in recovering from your fall! It's hard to do and don't let anyone take that accomplishment and the enjoyment it brings you away from you. (Especially a teenager)


The way her mom describes it, the daughter takes crap in 4-h for being the only english rider. I guess she has to dish it out because she takes it? I fail to see the logic.
This is more than just feeling her oats as a 17 year old. Her mom asked her why she is mean, and the daughter replied because she can be and because it's funny. She also threatened to beat my horse.

Thanks for the congrats. I really feel like I'm well on my way to healing and that somebody just dumped all over my happy, ya know? I'm trying to stay positive.


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## Just Me (Jun 14, 2012)

Tough situation, here's how I'd work it: You're gonna have to be the bigger person. Ask her for HELP in any areas you're lacking confidence, ask her for direction, make HER feel important, while at the same time, when she is rude or whatever, and makes nasty comments, say something like, that comment intrigues me, can you tell me more, and listen. Ask her, well what would you do? Thank you for sharing that information with me, I will try but no guarantees, deal?

Secondly, IMO, western riding can be a whole lot harder for beginners, in some aspects than english. Ever have an instructor make you sit that hard fast trot? Oh yeah. So much for comfy saddle, it really doesn't matter if you can't do it well! Posting, wonderful, no pain! And then the indirect reining, etc. That's a lot for a beginner to pick up on.

Re: Fall/Confidence. IMO: Hey, take your time, enjoy your horse, you have your whole life to regain your confidence, don't let anyone push you faster than you are comfortable with! Safety first.

You'll get there in time, but it may takes years, not days (I had a bad fall too that resulted in plate/screws and ankle that will only be 75% normal rest of life, that happened 27 years ago...I still get a little nervous sometimes. and AM to this day, a fair weather, pleasure/trail rider ONLY). 

I won't ride on any surface that shouts "slip, trip or fall!" I still enjoy my horses, but safety is always first on my list, have nothing to prove. 

Take your time, go slow, ignore remarks, be friendly, ask for her help, remove yourself from situation, basically do whatever YOU have to do to avoid confrontation and minimize disruption to the household, you'll have to just sorta stick your feet under the desk and sit and WATCH and bite your tongue. 

Keep your eye on the ball, not the disruptive daughter. The teen is shouting for attention, any, try to give her positive instead of negative if you can...or, ignore remarks and switch subject or walk away to do "something". 

If the comments are made in front of others, it doesn't do you any good to "ignore" the "others" ARE her audience, in that case, fall back to "I'm intrigued, curious, confused, tell me more." Be sincere when you say it, make eye contact, wait for her to tell you more (chances are she wasn't prepared to tell you more!).

It sounds like she's unfairly demeaning you for some reason, I'm guessing attention.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Oh my goodness.. honey you don't deserve that kind of disrespect. Sheesh.. she sounds like she could use a good fall off of a horse to bring her back to reality.

I used to be an asswipe. Thought I was all this and a bag of chips. My way of the highway, that I was such a good rider (in my defense my parents, and all my instructors told me so) now I know better. But yeah a good fall from a Haffie taught me better lol. Humbled me right up 

I personally wouldn't be in that house with her. It's only going to upset you and I'm so shocked that your friend hasn't talked to her (according to your OP you didn't mention it so I'm guessing that she hasn't but I could be wrong) about it.. that is blatant disrespect. 

Sorry about your horse choking.. that must be terrifying.. I hope to God that Sky never experiences that :/ I would have a heart attack. How is he doing now? Love the picture haha! It's blurry but we know why ;P 

I feel her daughter is going to affect your friendship in a negative way so I think it may be a good idea to start thinking of other options than living there and boarding there. That way you can still have a good friendship with your friend and her daughter won't be able to attempt to undermine or degrade you.

:/ Urgh I would never be that rude to someone. I think I'd kick my own *** before I did that to someone else... man..


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## possumhollow (Apr 19, 2012)

I know it isn't a possibility right now, but you need to get you and your horse out of there as soon as you can. Too bad your friend can't make the bills otherwise, but maybe she should put a leash on her kid's mouth.

I can tell you from experience that best friends living together when there's kids involved usually ends REALLY ugly because your friend is liable to start seeing it that you are trying to make her chose between you or her daughter.

I speak from experience, we let my best friend and her family move up here and stay with us until they found a place. After two YEARS of them mooching off of us, we kicked them out. I know you aren't mooching and I applaud that, but it still makes for a sticky situation when kids are involved.

Just smile at the girl and mentally think what her own kids will be like to her soon enough. My mom always wished the wish that my kids would be exactly like me.... it worked.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I agree with possumhollow. This is a no win situtation. The mother should not let her child behave this way. But, such a "mean " child is very likely a child who is suffereing somewhere, inside. and , I bet she takes it out on her mom, too.
If the mom cannot model how to treat an adult, or just a fellow human for that matter, with respect, then you will the target of this child's wrath, and the mom will let you take the heat, since it gives her a reprieve.

That is a sad situation. I feel for the mom and the girl. you'll move on and find a bitter living situtaion. They are together for life!


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

Wow personally I'd slap my kids teeth out of her mouth, but I've always demanded that my children show adults respect.

This type of kid is a true bully, and mom has let herself be bullied so the child hasn't learnt respect for her elders. 

I'd definately start saving my money and find another place, I suppose in the meantime as you prepare yourself maybe along the way you might be able to get through to her, who knows, if mom can't stop making excuses for her I highly doubt it. Sometimes kids hold their parents hostage with butt loads of emotional blackmail, that parents can't get the job done. 

I really feel for you, I hope it gets better.


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## Ladytrails (Jul 28, 2010)

I may have missed it if someone else already said this, but 17 is a really tough age and if there is someone else (you) living in the house with her and her mom, she's probably just got a bigger than normal chip on her shoulder. We took in a young married nephew and his wife for a few months when my daughter was young and it was really tough. To this day, she doesn't get along with the cousin. This is a financial arrangement between 2 friends and the daughter didn't have a say in it. I'm sure that it's tough for her as it brings up issues of why you're living there - financial security fears, etc. come to mind. Plus, she could just need to be taken down a notch or two. I think you're going to have to be the adult, as another poster said, taking the high road but being eyes-wide-open that this might not be something that works out in the long run. In the meantime, I'd be thinking (but not saying) that this chick needs an x-large helmet to hold her big head together. LOL.


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## thesilverspear (Aug 20, 2009)

I appreciate that 17 is a tough age and I was a bit of a narky, sullen teenager as well. But if I had treated any of my parents' friends or any other adult the way you say this girl is treating you, my parents would not have been impressed, to say the least, and I have little doubt that if mean and rude behaviour had been consistent, I would have lost my horse. Unless your friend's daughter pays for the horse herself, her mom must be in financial control. At any rate, she clearly struggles to set boundaries with her daughter. Like horses, kids need boundaries and structure in their lives, or they often act out. 

If I were you, I'd find a boarding stable and move. Sounds as if these people need a family counselor and you don't want to be in the middle of it. While it's sad that your friend might struggle to pay the mortgage if you're not there, maybe she needs to learn some boundaries as well.


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## thesilverspear (Aug 20, 2009)

I just reread the first page of this thread. Really took notice of this quote: "Her mom asked her why she is mean, and the daughter replied because she can be and because it's funny. She also threatened to beat my horse."

Boy, my kid (if I had one) would have been told in no uncertain terms to shape up. They would have been told that one more nasty word out of their mouth = selling their horse and no more 4H. And maybe they would have had it explained that the rent and board Arrowsaway pays goes to paying for the horse and the house, and if she leaves, we're probably not going to be able to afford either one.


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## Shropshirerosie (Jan 24, 2012)

It's a difficult situation - you're an adult who has moved into the home of a Mother and Daughter. There isn't a 'book of rules' in this case for how all of you are to act, so you're having to make it up as you go.

I have no idea what is going on in the 17 year old's head, but she clearly resents you massively and (regardless of what everyone else here has said about expecting her to show you respect) and you have moved into her home. I doubt she was consulted on this - she's a child, but she's also an adult and I imagine she feels treated like a child.

If you want to stay, I suggest you sit down all three of you and agree some basic rules about :-

Chores
Respect for each other
Sharing bathrooms/equipment/television time/whatever else
You let her know that you won't do the things that annoy her like use the wrong bucket - IF SHE TALKS TO YOU ABOUT IT - but that you're not psychic and won't guess if she doesn't.
You let her know that you respect her riding style and you'd like her to respect yours.

And you do need to find yourself some additional riding buddies. Three females in the same house, sharing the same hobby and the same downtime..... it's a recipe for disaster!

BUT you can get this sorted, just keep those lines of communication open


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## Back2Horseback (Mar 21, 2012)

I agree with the excellent advice/general commentary made by others here...

I want to make a point that I don't THINK anyone else touched on yet...probably because it sounds like it would never be a realistic thing to worry about, but sadly, I have SEEN this happen to a co-worker!!

I would, if I were you, keep an even closer eye on your beloved horse than you no doubt usually already do. If this 17 year-old was angry enough_* during your attempt at RECONCILING the situation*_ throughout your "three person sit down talk" after the camping trip to mention that she wants to "beat your horse", well, that WOULD concern ME a LOT. 

The other stuff you describe makes me cringe, *and I GET how it is EXTREMELY tough to tolerate her generally snotty attitude* whenever you are around, her lack of respect and belittling behavior toward you while out riding or even around others, etc...that would be emotionally exhausting to me! However, the risk that she might hurt your horse? That would be *DEVASTATING*.

Teenagers of today are NOT like they were even 20 years ago. They take things VERY FAR. And because they lack real-world consequences (hence her believing her behavior towards her MOTHER'S BEST FRIEND is on ANY LEVEL acceptable), they don't generally take into consideration what kind of a hellish outcome could come from doing something *awful to someone, such as injuring your horse.*

I obviously do not know you, but it would nonetheless devestate me to read of a fellow HF poster having something "done" to their horse by anyone. The sort of possible scenarios which worry me are that she could intentionally give your horse something toxic or undigestable by mouth, or to even cause another choking incident, (now that she witnessed it happen once--she would assume you would never think to "point the finger" at her if it were to happen again...), There are a many *accidents* that can befall a horse, and most of these can have *numerous* potential causes. She is very mean, but may not be stupid, at least not totally such, and therefore would possibly think herself "uncatchable" if she tried to hurt your horse!

If I were the one in your position, I would be VERY SURE that both she and your best friend were made WELL aware that if ANYTHING, and I MEAN ANYTHING, happens to Smoke; she, (demon-daughter) is THE FIRST PERSON you will look to as the cause. I would let them know in no uncertain terms that you would immediately (obviously) leave their home if it came to this, while simultaneously pressing CRIMINAL charges, followed by civil liability charges against not only princess daughter but since she is a minor, unfortunately, against your best friend/roommate as well! 

I would press both criminal and civil charges to the FULLEST extent* if someone willingly put my Rat-Terrier/Chihuahua mix, Penelope (an innocent and un-involved DOG) through ANY pain over some issue, regardless of how big or small, they had with ME!! *

IF this girl (and her mother) see you as *a force to be reconed with,* even if you, sadly, cannot salvage the living situation or the friendship, you CAN still be sure you protect your animal by ensuring to the best of your ability that nothing and no one harms your beloved horse. And to be straight up with you, at this point, something in the way this teenager acts REALLY has my hackles up. She makes me nervous, and I would be very inclined to believe she is fairly far from 100% behaviorally/emotionally stable. 

Okay, I have said MORE than enough, and sorry to ramble so much, but please, just be careful, and as soon as possible, take whatever steps ypu can to get away from this unfortunate toxic person who is truly messing up your friendship, and your world. And by the way,_* I SINCERELY hope I am overreacting to the potential actions this girl could take*_. I just don't want to see your horse harmed or your heart broken!

I'll pray for the very best outcome for this situation as a whole for you...Perhaps some of the advice others have given may help make the dynamics of the situation turn around in just a short while. I do so hope that is the case! :?


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## DimSum (Mar 28, 2012)

Wow, tough situation. I don't agree with those that suggest trying to make her "feel important" or try to kill her with kindness. You don't outline your friend's personal situation, but if there was a divorce the kid could be feeling powerless in her situation and the only way she can resolve that within herself is to be a bully towards you. 

Simply put, the 17 y/o is just being a bully and playing games with you-putting you down makes her feel better. And I have no doubt she enjoys putting her mother on the spot. All in all, an unhappy kiddo who is spreading her misery to those around her.

The good thing about games is that if you don't play...there is no point. I'd ignore her, even though it sets your teeth on edge. She insults you or your horse, just give her a flat stare (think how a boss mare looks at a mouthy yearling) and ignore her just as you'd ignore a toddler interrupting the adults talking. I'd also have a talk with her mother when the kid isn't around and let her know what you are doing and why. 

I hope you resolve this, it sounds like the arrangement is otherwise good for both you and your horse.


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## thesilverspear (Aug 20, 2009)

What did her mother say when she threatened to beat up your horse? I agree with Back2horseback. That's a bit worrying and obviously it's hard to know over the internet whether it is just talk or if there is more to it than that. Either way, it suggests that this kid has some serious issues. Especially as she is also a horse person. The rudeness and attitude is one thing, but threatening to harm your animal? That's whole 'nother line to cross and one that tells you there is far more going on than mere teenage snottiness. My armchair, over-the-web sense of it is that this kid has the winning combination of anger and emotional issues from whatever stuff is in her background, and, as I said earlier, very poor boundaries and too little concern with consequences.


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

I appreciate all the feedback, guys. Maybe I can clear things up a bit.
I didn't really specify the situation, I guess. The friend is a single mom, lost her job and is struggling to stay afloat. My money helps her, and I get free utilities and access to my horse whenever I want... so we thought it was a win-win. The daughter has consistently driven out anyone who has been here, including the most recent ex boyfriend and the ex fiance before that. [the friend has also rented out rooms before, to normal, nice, non-skeezy folks]. Every one of them has left. The ex bf was at the trail ride this weekend and told me he really was sorry that I had to go through what he did.:?
I remember all too well what it was like to be 17. I didn't have it easy. We all have issues. The daughter's been burned in the past, so now she puts up a front of bitchiness. I did that, too. But I didn't lash out at people who were nice to me, I didn't use them as punching bags for my own pleasure. I've done nothing to this girl except, in her mind, horn in on the relationship between her and her mother. I'm "taking her place" and it makes her so angry that she threatened me and my horse physically. Just fyi, I didn't post this earlier because I thought it was a bit personal, but when she threatened Smoke and refused to apologize... SHE was the one who got her *** beat by her mother. Only after a whoopin' did she apologize to her mother for "making it difficult for her." She did not apologize to me.
Long story short, the friend and I got into it last night, and we haven't spoken since. My boyfriend got sucked in too and it became a complete nightmare. We almost split because this is jeopardizing our living situation and all we want is stability. Some place to call home. This is not what I had envisioned.

I've tried ignoring her, I've tried killing her with kindness, her mother disciplines her but it really is as though the girl's heart is iron-clad. So angry. I used to be too... But that kind of anger only destroys you and everyone else around you. It makes no sense.

I just want a home, a safe place for my horse... A relatively drama-free life. I'd like to keep my friend, too. But that's not going to happen if the daughter has anything to say about it.

I wish I could leave.

EDIT: I was just thinking about how a poster mentioned that this can quickly turn uglier because the friend will feel like she has to choose. She's already stated things like, "Well she [the daughter] really is an adult because she has 4-h responsibilities" and "Well that's just how she is, she's a tough cookie" and that I'm oversensitive. My flight response is kicking in!!!


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## DimSum (Mar 28, 2012)

I am so sorry to hear it. If leaving is the only way, then make a plan with a timeline and do it. Even if you have to make a 3-6-9 month timeline, getting your future plans laid out will ease your mind. Don't let this child interfere with your relationship with your BF...your friendship with her mother is probably a foregone conclusion.

*cyberhugs*


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

oh, and:

shropshire: We tried the sit down, talk it out calmly thing. The daughter was unapologetic, rude, threatening, and nasty. That's when she threatened Smoke and got her *** handed to her on a plate by her mother. Reasoning does not work with this girl.

Sky: Smoke is doing fine, thanks for asking. I think I should reduce the corn oil a bit so it's not so mushy, and that may help him in the future.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

Sounds like a sucky situation all the way around. I hope you get your job so you can save up to get your own place. The fact that mom can't afford her bills without you isn't your problem. If things were tight enough then maybe she'd be able to make the daughter toe the line. Since this is an ongoing pattern with the daughter, I sure wouldn't look for any improvement in your lifetime, so I'd be doing my very damnedest to get out of there and take my horse with me. 

On any further rides, I'd try to find an adult group where she is not invited and I'd ride without her and/or without her mom if need be. If mom tolerates her behaviour and disrespect to you, then mom isn't being much of a friend to you, IMO. Toxic situations aren't good for anyone, so I'd be getting me & mine out ASAP.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

arrowsaway said:


> Sky: Smoke is doing fine, thanks for asking. I think I should reduce the corn oil a bit so it's not so mushy, and that may help him in the future.


You're welcome  And probably a good idea

But seriously.. there is already such strain. Between you and your best friend, between you and your boyfriend, between you and this daughter of hers.

Move out when you can and you may be able to salvage your friendship (but as Dream suggests it may be a toxic one atm) and your relationship (sorry to hear that :/ that's always tough)

This is making me nauseous just reading about it since I'm not involved in any form.. I cannot imagine the pressure you're feeling!


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

Skyseternalangel said:


> You're welcome  And probably a good idea
> 
> But seriously.. there is already such strain. Between you and your best friend, between you and your boyfriend, between you and this daughter of hers.
> 
> ...


Yeah I've been hiding in my bedroom for nearly 24 hours. I only come out to pee and let my dogs outside. I just can't do any more confrontation. I am drained emotionally.
If I could afford it, I would most certainly leave. Just not in the cards for me right now. I think I should just stay out of sight for the most part. I don't know what else to do.


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## Breella (May 26, 2012)

Get out. You need to get out of there now. I know your money is helping your friend but you have to think of the safety of yourself, your horse and your boyfriend. 

Your friend needs to sink or swim on her own and realize that her daughter isn't growing into an adult, she's growing into a self important right little chit.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

arrowsaway said:


> Yeah I've been hiding in my bedroom for nearly 24 hours. I only come out to pee and let my dogs outside. I just can't do any more confrontation. I am drained emotionally.
> If I could afford it, I would most certainly leave. Just not in the cards for me right now. I think I should just stay out of sight for the most part. I don't know what else to do.


Not meaning to pry, but does your bf live with you? Maybe you can spend some time with him and your other friends in the area. Or go out on your own. Hit up a nice little cafe and just enjoy solidarity for awhile. It's a shame your horse is at drama central.. it's almost like a Catch 22 spending time with him atm because yes it's relaxing but you're within spitting distance of trouble and stress.


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

Skyseternalangel said:


> Not meaning to pry, but does your bf live with you? Maybe you can spend some time with him and your other friends in the area. Or go out on your own. Hit up a nice little cafe and just enjoy solidarity for awhile. It's a shame your horse is at drama central.. it's almost like a Catch 22 spending time with him atm because yes it's relaxing but you're within spitting distance of trouble and stress.


Yep, we both live here. After our initial upset, we've both calmed down and reconciled. We just want the same thing... a place we can feel comfortable and stable.
We try to do "date nights" as much as money allows. There's a little cafe in town, and a great place to take the dogs down to the river to swim, and it's not far to Fort Wayne for a movie. I think we will spend more time away now, thanks. And you didn't pry.


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## thesilverspear (Aug 20, 2009)

Start looking into other horse-keeping options? There may be something cheap out there for you. Hiding in your room and going out all the time because someone in your home is making your life miserable is no way to live. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I've had some nasty, difficult flatmates in the past and it's horrible. There was such a huge sense of relief when I or they (depending on situation) moved out and you realise how amazing it is, relaxing in your living room without worrying that someone is going to march in and give you a full-on bitchfest.

Sounds as if nothing will change with the mom-daughter dynamic, as you're not the first person she's done this to and mom is clearly resigned to it ("she's a tough cookie"). Obviously mom is incapable of manning up and saying, "One more rude word to Arrowsaway and your horse goes on Dreamhorse." Kid probably knows mom might shout at her, but nothing of any great consequence will happen.


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

One of the guys who was on the trail ride runs a decent boarding stable for the 4-h horses at only 150 a month. I pay 100 right now, so not so big of a jump. I would still feel more comfortable moving him once I have a better job. I work a day and a half a week right now. ><
So I have some place I can go, I think. It's just getting there. 

In the meantime... the small, petty, 10 year old part of me wants to sneak out in the middle of the night and roach her pwetty poneh's mane. Match onto gasoline, I know, but I can dream, right? lol

It's funny, the girl is a bully, and so is her horse. Smoke ALWAYS comes up with bite wounds and edema from being kicked.


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## Ladytrails (Jul 28, 2010)

thesilverspear said:


> I appreciate that 17 is a tough age and I was a bit of a narky, sullen teenager as well. But if I had treated any of my parents' friends or any other adult the way you say this girl is treating you, my parents would not have been impressed, to say the least, and I have little doubt that if mean and rude behaviour had been consistent, I would have lost my horse. Unless your friend's daughter pays for the horse herself, her mom must be in financial control. At any rate, she clearly struggles to set boundaries with her daughter. Like horses, kids need boundaries and structure in their lives, or they often act out.
> 
> If I were you, I'd find a boarding stable and move. Sounds as if these people need a family counselor and you don't want to be in the middle of it. While it's sad that your friend might struggle to pay the mortgage if you're not there, maybe she needs to learn some boundaries as well.


Just to be more clear, after re-reading my post, I totally agree with you, Silverspear. I probably would **still** be locked in the house if I had said anything remotely like this in hearing of my parents, growing up. *Understanding why a young person would tend to act out should not be the same thing as giving them permission to do so.* I think the girl summed it up, she's ,mean because she can be. If Mom changed the dynamic so that there were consequences, her behavior would change, too.


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## Wallee (Mar 7, 2012)

Spare the rod, spoil the child. We live rather simply around my neck of the woods and no child will speak to any grown-up in any such manner as you have stated. If I was the parent in this situation there would be a lot better living arrangements for you as there would be no spoiled brat antagonizing you.


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## AQHSam (Nov 23, 2011)

arrowsaway said:


> One of the guys who was on the trail ride runs a decent boarding stable for the 4-h horses at only 150 a month. I pay 100 right now, so not so big of a jump. I would still feel more comfortable moving him once I have a better job. I work a day and a half a week right now. ><
> So I have some place I can go, I think. It's just getting there.
> 
> In the meantime... the small, petty, 10 year old part of me wants to sneak out in the middle of the night and roach her pwetty poneh's mane. Match onto gasoline, I know, but I can dream, right? lol
> ...


Maybe if you explain the situation and offer a temporary 1-3 month trade of labor for cheaper board, you can move the horse.

Once you move the horse, you can find a place to live. Even some of the motels with weekly and monthly rates are cheaper than an actual apartment or rental home. If I were in your shoes, I would live 14 days in a tent at the state parks and then move to another park!

If you are not fully employed, trading labor for board, or finding even cheaper board (pasture only, no hay/grain) is an option.


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

I got the callback for the interview I was hoping I would get. Tomorrow at 1pm!


Hopefully it works out and I can find a better environment for all of us, including Smoke.

For now... It's an uncomfortable silence, to say the least...


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

arrowsaway said:


> I got the callback for the interview I was hoping I would get. Tomorrow at 1pm!
> 
> 
> ..........
> ...


 
First, I'll be crossing my fingers for you tomorrow! Second, let me apologize in advance for making light of your ugly situation but.............AT LEAST IT'S QUIET AROUND THERE!!!! :lol:

I'm with Wallee, around here kids would be drawn & quartered for a WHOLE lot less bad behaviour than this kid is giving. I was floored down here when I went to work in a prison and all the inmates called me "ma'am"! In CA where I'm from, I got called a whole lotta things but I guarantee ma'am wasn't one of them! ROFL! So the very thought of a kid talking to me like that 17 yr old talked to you would floor me so bad I'd probably end up in jail cos that kid would have some marks when I got done. So, since I know I'm a hothead not gonna give you any advice on the situation, you're doing a lot better job than I would be.


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## longshot (May 30, 2012)

Boy Arrow.. tough situation. Mom is not fdoing her daughter any favors by allowing this behavior, but that is between her and her daughter. As far as the daughter's behavior toward you the only advice I have is: You have enough on your plate, concentrate on your issues and let the daughter rant. Maybe I'm different but there isn't a teenager alive, that doesn't share my last name, that is going to get me all worked up. I just don't have the energy to waste on a snot like that and I would just tune her out. Nothing she would say or how she waould say it would get any reaction from me. If mom chooses to allow her to treat any adult with disrespect there is absolutely nothing you can do. Just look at her and shake your head and laugh.. gets them every time..lol Good luck!


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## xJumperx (Feb 19, 2012)

Haven't read all pages, sorry, but had to cut this in -

If she's 17 and only in 4-H, she obviously sucks at riding any sort of riding, from what I have read has no disciplene, needs her butt kicked, and will be knocked up next year. I would just ignore her if you can, and when you can't, just pretend to be her mother and punish her as neccassary. If you loose a friend in this, I have a feeling it won't be much of a loss, considering your friend says your being oversensitive.... No, your just being harrassed. I'd kick that little twerp kid's teeth in. Honestly...


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## smokeslastspot (Jan 11, 2012)

I do not have time to read all the posts right now (at work supposed to be working, ssshhhh) 

Anyway it seems to me that the daughter should be made to at least be polite to you. This has nothing to do with the mother choosing sides, it has to do with making her child, who she is responsible for instilling basic values in, treat other members of society in a polite non hostile manner and learn to work with others of other skill and social levels. 

There are a number of people I dislike but if I were to go around treating everyone who I found annoying or who I thought was doing something a different way than me the way this child treated you I have no doubt my dad would bend me over and whip my 28 yr old butt. And rightly so. 



I understand about the confidence issue due to a bad fall by the way as I am in the same boat. I had my first ride in many years last week. It was only ten minutes in a roundpen under trainer supervision and I was sure I was going to be sick all over the horse. I can hardly wait for the next ride even though just the thought of it makes me nervous. Just remember that anywhere is a place to build on.


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> First, I'll be crossing my fingers for you tomorrow! Second, let me apologize in advance for making light of your ugly situation but.............AT LEAST IT'S QUIET AROUND THERE!!!! :lol:
> 
> I'm with Wallee, around here kids would be drawn & quartered for a WHOLE lot less bad behaviour than this kid is giving. I was floored down here when I went to work in a prison and all the inmates called me "ma'am"! In CA where I'm from, I got called a whole lotta things but I guarantee ma'am wasn't one of them! ROFL! So the very thought of a kid talking to me like that 17 yr old talked to you would floor me so bad I'd probably end up in jail cos that kid would have some marks when I got done. So, since I know I'm a hothead not gonna give you any advice on the situation, you're doing a lot better job than I would be.


Believe me, if this were not my best friend's daughter and my shelter were not at risk, I would have been a lot more harsh. I like to think of myself as non-violent, but I am hotheaded when I've reached the end of my patience. Believe me, I've reached it.
During the camping trip, we were getting out of the truck bed after a hillbilly ride down to the river. She stepped on my achilles and I fell. Her response was, "F*ing watch what you're doing and get out of the way." Only reason she still had a face after that is because my friend was standing right there.

The more I think about it, the more angry I'm becoming. It's not dissipating. and I'm REALLY ****ed that my friend had the balls to tell me I need to have a thicker skin. Pretty much ready not to forgive that one.

Rawr.
If I smoked I'd light one up right now, man. lol


Oh, and thanks Smokeslastspot. I have worked hard to get to where I'm at. I am really motivated to get better still, and really learn more about Smoke as we go. He's such a good boy, and for somebody to discredit him, and me, like that... Not okay.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Arrow, you need to find a way to get out of this toxic situation as soon as possible.

Your friend is making excuses for her daughter, and it's not going to get any better. It's not YOUR responsibility to make sure your friend has a roof over her head.

Wonder how Little Miss Thang is going to like living out on the streets, since she's continually sabotaging her mother's ability to pay the mortgage.


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## Breella (May 26, 2012)

Arrow, I'm sending as much good vibes for your interview as I can. 

I'm 24, I have 22 and a 16 year old sisters. It's not always the environment. My mother, even at my age would kick my @$$ for talking to her friends like that. (and my mom is legally disabled!) Same goes for my sisters. Regardless of our opinions on anything we keep them to ourselves and discussed it in private at home.

Attitudes like your friends daughter don't manifest over night, it sounds like years of being a spoiled biach and getting everything she wants out of life, and her mother not putting a foot up the girls @$$ when she stepped out of line.


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

thanks for the well wishes guys 

The boyfriend is really upset whenever I mention leaving. He wants a stable home life as much as I do, and he doesn't want to see me give up on my friendship. 

I know it's not my responsibility to pay her bills, but truthfully, I won't get a sweeter deal financially ANYWHERE else. I have dogs, so apartment living will make my expenses go WAY up, in addition to boarding Smoke someplace else. I moved into to save money and have folks to do horsey things with, and it's just... all such a disaster.

I am torn.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

You may not get a sweeter financial deal anywhere else, but what's your price for sanity and being able to enjoy a quiet home life?

I couldn't live in a stressful situation like you've described. One way or the other, I'd be out of there. Most likely for telling Mommy Dearest to grow some ovaries and act like an actual parent, instead of letting Brattus Monstrous continue to act as if the world revolves around her. :?


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Arrow tell him the truth. Your friendship is strained right now and you and your horse are not happy there. Tell him you hope to move away from this toxic situation (if he asks about that, let him know that you are caught between a teenage girl with no manners and your best friend who isn't doing anything to fix them just defending her even if it means being rude to her best friend) and then work on your friendship.. try to salvage it if at all possible.

Tell him you would feel so much better if it was just a lot less hectic and stressful.

Just be honest. They're not excuses, they're legitimate reasons that he may not be aware of.

Good luck OP :/


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## Breella (May 26, 2012)

It won't be easily financially if she hurts you, your horse or your dogs.


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## Palomine (Oct 30, 2010)

I'm going to be honest here. If you can't afford your own place, you have no business with a horse.

Working one and 1/2 day a week doesn't cut it. Period. Is your BF working?

This brat is acting exactly like she has been raised. And don't be surprised if you find out down the road, that HER words, are her MOTHER'S thoughts. Mother may well be telling her that you are using them too.

This is NOT a stable home life. You have no home, and by staying there you are putting yourself and your animals in harm's way. Get out. Rehome your horse and dogs, and get another job. I've had as many as 5 in one day every day when I had to, so can you. Went from one to another day after day, for quite a long time.

Horses are a luxury, not a necessity. Until you can support yourself, you can't afford a horse. And mooching off of people even if you are paying all their bills will not make them grateful to you, they will resent you immensely. If she can't survive, maybe she needs to find a job too, and her mouthy idiot kid, and for what it is worth, they can't afford horses either.

And frankly, your BF needs to be supporting you all better too. He is not worth much if he is willing to lay up in someone else's house, let the brat lowrate his GF and not be man enough to take the responsibility to get a home for the two of you.

He needs to be providing the stable home life he says he wants.

You need to take a realistic look at your life, and see if this is how you want to be living 10 years from now. 

These types of situations never work out well, not ever.


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

Palomine said:


> I'm going to be honest here. If you can't afford your own place, you have no business with a horse.
> 
> Working one and 1/2 day a week doesn't cut it. Period. Is your BF working?
> 
> ...


You're certainly entitled to your opinion, and I'm just as entitled to disregard it. What you know of my life exists only on the internet, and you cannot make an informed judgment based solely on that. Kindly take your negativity elsewhere. It's not wanted here.


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## hberrie (Apr 28, 2012)

That sucks and I am sorry you are stuck in such a sticky situation. I agree that the mother need to put a "whoa" on that girl. No amount of disrespect to an adult should be tolerated. I have a 15 yo daughter and she would get quite an earbeating if she talked to an adult that way. She sounds like a spoiled brat but maybe she is jealous about having you around and wants her mothers attention. Not saying that is right I just know how my kids react and sometimes having to share their space with other people male or female is uncomfortable for them. I know this is your best friend but I think you should try to find a place of your own before this turns really ugly and you lose a boarding place and your friend. It would be different if it were just the two of you but when kids are involved everything is more complicated that you think it should be. Good luck.


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

The friend and I talked a little bit this afternoon, and it went okay. Her daughter is staying silent and out of my way, thus far. I am proceeding with caution and we'll see how this goes. I'm not dropping my defenses completely.

We're checking on Smoke frequently and the dogs are glued to my side for the moment. Since the boyfriend works third shift, he's home when I work and am busy during the day, and vice versa, so there's always someone around to keep an eye out.


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## Ladytrails (Jul 28, 2010)

Sounds very adult and reasonable! Glad to hear the friend is meeting you at least part way....fingers crossed for you!


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

Gotta agree with Palomine here. The reason that girl mouths you off & treats you the way she does is because she knows how her momma feels, she don't like you or your horse because something was said, not just because. In the words of Judge Judy - If it doesn't make sense, it isn't true! I bet you she was reasonable to you in the beginning? Your b/f watches all this and still thinks it's ok to live there? Geez Louise! Tell him you can't stand it there, and that you two need to move. If you can't afford it, guess you gotta put up with kiddo's smart remarks, maybe you'll learn to love each other in time?


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## Back2Horseback (Mar 21, 2012)

I feel for you tremendously. I can clearly see you got yourself into a situation with the GOAL to get exactly where you want and need to be...in a stable, safe, comfortable home environment, WITH YOUR BEST BUD, NO LESS, ask the while getting more and more financially stable, AND SIMULTANEOUSLY even helping your friend! SHOULD be perfect. Just SUCKS when life doesn't work out that way.

If I understood correctly, you JUST COMPLETED a veterinary technician program, so you are clearly motivated to advance your life and better yourself, are obviously NOT LOOKING FOR A FREE RIDE, rather, a situation to help EVERYONE get from point A to point B, right?

Not sure what state you are in (eek, sorry, forgot to look!) but where I live now in AZ & where I used to live in Ca, vet techs were (@ that time, naturally, prior to our economy going into the sh###er!) pretty well paid overall! 

In fact, before AND WHILE I was in nursing school, I worked as a small animal vet/surgical tech/asst.manager of a growing practice...this was 20 years ago and I made pretty darn decent money! I was also able to pick up second jobs when needed...during off-school time, summers, etc...let me offer you an idea.

I had roommates then as you do, and though was not in the sort of nightmare situation you are, I still didn't LOVE my living situation...what I would do was over summers, I would set up housesitting/animal care jobs that would keep the WHOLE SUMMER while wealthy clients from my vet hospital (I worked in Palo Alto, CA, in the midst of the computer explosion!!)would travel for the summer. They would feel safe knowing a trained vet tech was caring for their animal's basic needs and be aware right away if they were unwell in any way. It would provide ME WITH PAY to live in THEIR (often beautiful!) homes for three months at a time!! I'd set this type of situation up EACH summer, so I could not only have a BREAK from living with my roomies, but save $$, take excellent care of their animals, and create new recommendations/resources for future summer jobs! 

IF you could find something like that (post on bulletin boards at WEALTHY AREA VET CLINICS & be sure you list your credentials as a licensed vet tech, horse owner, etc...see if any school instructors will write you a letter of recommendation, proving you are "safe", not some scary rip off artist, etc...AND THEY MAY WELL LIKE THE IDEA OF THE BF HOSTING WITH YOU! Nothing deters potential home invaders like having a male staying on the premesis!

You could very well end up with a place to live, money to save, and about three months to figure out a new living situation for when the homeowners return. And most importantly it will get you out of hell-house NOW! Plus, you said you found boarding that is affordable for Smoke for a bit! All set...you MAY HAVE to keep your dogs with a friend for a bit...would that new possible? This is just one idea (I'm full of them!!) & I was actually thinking of your situation throughout the day. I'll keep throwing out ideas as they come! ; 0)

I really just want you all to be okay...what does your BF do for a living? Maybe knowing will give me some even better ideas! You guys WILL BE OK! Just gotta figure out a plan! You hang in there lady!! (internet hugs)...you are NOT ALONE! We're ALL OUT HERE IN COMPUTER LAND PULLING FOR YA! :0)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## outnabout (Jul 23, 2010)

arrowsaway said:


> The way her mom describes it, the daughter takes crap in 4-h for being the only english rider. I guess she has to dish it out because she takes it? I fail to see the logic.
> This is more than just feeling her oats as a 17 year old. Her mom asked her why she is mean, and the daughter replied because she can be and because it's funny. She also threatened to beat my horse.


OK, that's it, I can't read this thread any longer without responding. First of all, what kind of "best friend" is she if she allows her daughter to be such a mean little twit to you? This behavior should have been nipped in the bud, not allowed to go on to the point that the little snit attempted to ridicule you in a crowd with other adults. Trust me, she ridiculed herself more than you when she did that. 

My first thought was that she was jealous of you for maybe taking time away from her mother because you moved in. Maybe in her little knat brain she thought that she could intimidate you into leaving. Nevertheless, her behavior is outrageous, and with this retort to her mother about why she is mean, "because she can be and because it's funny", it seems as if she has been allowed bad behavior in the past for even having the nerve to say that to her mother about her best friend. At 17 she should be mature enough to handle being different, riding English in a Western crowd. 

Personally I believe that your best friend and her daughter both have serious issues and I would find new riding buddies.


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

I rocked the first interview and I have a working interview scheduled for next Tuesday. I think this one's in the bag so far! 

I don't really forgive easily once something like this happens. I want an apology but I was told that was too much to ask, so I'm keeping to myself. Smoke is doing great, everything else is fine... I'm just still angry. Dunno how long I will be.

Thanks for the good interview vibes and the support here. 
I'm now really motivated to find others to ride with. Hit me up if you're in Northeast Indiana...


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

arrowsaway said:


> I rocked the first interview and I have a working interview scheduled for next Tuesday. I think this one's in the bag so far!
> 
> I don't really forgive easily once something like this happens. I want an apology but I was told that was too much to ask, so I'm keeping to myself. Smoke is doing great, everything else is fine... I'm just still angry. Dunno how long I will be.
> 
> ...


 
Too bad you have to wait til next Tues for the 2nd 1/2 of the interview. But, go in there and work it and land that job! 

As for being angry, let it go. Right now, that might not be possible because you're still stuck but as soon as you can get out, let go of the anger. The only person that gets hurt by that kind of thing hanging on is you and you've been through quite enough. 

I'm saying let go of the anger, so that it doesn't harm you any further but I'm not suggesting you should not let go of the friend. She I would kick to the curb at the earliest opportunity. Friends do not allow others, and especially not others in their own family, to abuse those they call friends and mean it. 

I can't think of the title right off the top of my head, but I read a book about folks who turn toxic and how badly it hurts US to stay in that kind of situation and to remain in contact with the toxic ones. It really opened my eyes and gave me some insight into a bad thing I'd gotten into. I'll see if I can find it and I'll come back and post the title & author.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

Amazon.com: Toxic Friends: The Antidote for Women Stuck in Complicated Friendships (9780312386399): Susan Shapiro Barash: Books


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

I hadhave a daughter like this, altho she treated ME like this, not my friends and would never hurt or threaten an animal. She was "sent away" to school at 18, which she wanted, since my DH could no longer stand to live with both of us.....and she had been accepted in Culinary school. She somehow became "human" again while there. She was the most VILE teenager ever. She will even say now she HATED me, but now things are fine. Sometimes girls and moms are toxic. I personally cannot imagine if my hubby weren't around to deal with her. I was totally overwhelmed, beaten down and could take no more. As sorry as I feel for you-I also feel sorry for your friend. BTDT. You all can say how you would deal with it, but until you "walk a mile" you really cannot speak to the issue.

OP-I personally would not put myself in that situation if I didn't have to. The only reason I stayed was I was her mom. if I had an out, like you do-I would have been out of there in a heartbeat.


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## Ripplewind (Mar 22, 2012)

Try having fun with how she treats you, then. Make little jokes about things she says. Next time she makes fun of you for riding Western on trails, say that you'll be the one who's laughing when her horse refuses an obstacle. Show off your horsemanship. From the sound of your post, it seems that you are the better horsewoman. So show off a little. You're a proud equestrian, right? Have fun with who you are.


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

Sorry Ripplewind, I just saw that you posted! Thought this thread had died. lol
At this point, I don't even want to ride with the two people in question anymore. Problem is, I don't know anyone else to ride with and am sort of awkward when it comes to making first connections with folks, so I feel a little stuck. If I have no one else to ride with, I may just sell the horse. I love Smoke, but he's a butthead riding out alone and I'm not confident enough yet to be riding out on my own anyway.

I could take the attitude if I didn't mistrust the people I ride with. I need to be able to trust who I'm with... I believe that you respect and look out for the ones you ride with, because you could very well be between them and disaster should a situation arise.

I don't feel secure anymore, unfortunately.


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## Back2Horseback (Mar 21, 2012)

Hey Arrows!

(I, too, thought the thread had died...glad it's back for the moment at least, because I had thought about you and wanted to ask you about stuff...)

Did you get the job?? I am sooo hoping you DID, and that you are out of that house! What is happening these days?

Also, about your above post...is there any way you can just ride in an arena, working your/Smoke's skills, until such time as you find new trail riding buddies? I have some ideas (new ones) for you but am first curious as to where everything stands for now!

Hoping for all the best for you!! :0)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

Back2Horseback said:


> Hey Arrows!
> 
> (I, too, thought the thread had died...glad it's back for the moment at least, because I had thought about you and wanted to ask you about stuff...)
> 
> ...


I am still waiting to hear back on the job. I feel good about it, I just need to hear them say it!  Thanks for the good vibes!
I'm still living in the house, but boyfriend, the dogs and I took a trip back home to see my family in Michigan, so that's been a nice getaway.

We have the pasture we can ride in, which will have to do for now. The boyfriend would like to take some informal lessons, just to really nail down his basic skills, so that should keep us busy too!
I am excited to hear your ideas!


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Fingers are still crossed for you to get this job


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

why-oh-why are you in NZ? We could ride together.
Thanks for the vote of confidence... I am so nervous waiting for that phone call!


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

It's so funny how things can change in a matter of 24 hours.

My boyfriend and I are probably moving back to my home state of Michigan. I have had a job offer there. 
He was unexpectedly let go from his job here in Indiana. Things were good there for a while, financially... But the rug got pulled out from under us. I think it's best if we try to settle down somewhere else.

Smoke, sadly, cannot move with us. He is now for sale here on the forum, as well as craigslist. I love that horse. He was patient with me through my anxiety, and was always good for a hug or a chat. We had some pretty good times on the trails. I feel confident that the right person will come along for him, because he is one heck of a horse. I am just sad that person could not be me. I hope to do right by him.


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## Ripplewind (Mar 22, 2012)

NUUUUUUUUUUU! You're selling Smoke!? Where is the ad? Link?


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## Standardbredrider01 (Jul 31, 2012)

She sounds like a real *** to me! You should really lay it down to her. You have tolerated enough. If anyone ever insulted my horse, or my riding skills and practices, a would be the hell out of them (even if they where younger then me) You should be like, "Why dont you shut the hell up and stop being a smart ***" in a SCREAM mode. if that suprises them enought to shut there face, and if it continues, think of something witty to stay, more quietly, but still snappy. Show her that you can bite, too. lol!


(MASTER OF DEALING WITH JERKS!)


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## Standardbredrider01 (Jul 31, 2012)

And I just saw your last post! Im so sorry to hear that! D:


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