# Any fellow alcoholics out there?



## hberrie (Apr 28, 2012)

I know this is a strange post, but I am trying to stop drinking and realizing that I am scared to death to ride my horse without it. I know this is a long shot, but I thought it would be worth trying. Alcohol afforded me the bravery I needed to get on my horse and take control. I wasn't afraid of falling or anything else, but now I am. Anyone else relate out there?


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## FutureRN (Aug 8, 2012)

I'm not an alcoholic but just wanted to say you are so strong for even acknowledging the problem. I have several alcoholics and addicts in my family and it's a hard road to recovery but so, so worth it. I recommend going to meetings and finding a sponsor. Being an alcoholic is all about TRYING to be in control (not just on your horse).

Anyways, sorry I didn't answer your question. Good luck and I hope you can find peace and get sober! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Reno Bay (Jul 8, 2012)

I'm not much of a drinker (22 and really hate the taste of most alcohol), but I do know how bad anxiety can be. I have a suggestion that you could just even _think_ about trying. It's worked wonders for my social anxiety and completely erased my mothers severe phobia of suspension bridges. It's called Emotional Freedom Techniques. Pretty much its tapping on different points of your body (from what I read when I started some of them are acupuncture points...but no needles). I'm not good at explaining it...

You can look it up (EFT, tapping). I have found some videos from a series that has helped my family greatly that I think might come in handy for you should you feel like trying this technique. I shall PM you the links. They are free, so you need not worry. And yes, at first you will feel awkward and stupid doing it...


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

I know some ranch hands who are and stopped with a program, but they don't have computers.

Hope somebody comes along. I think doing things in a new way would be a challenge. Best wishes.


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## Darrin (Jul 11, 2011)

You've taken the first step, recognizing you have a problem. 

Good luck on your road to recovery and we'll all be pulling for you!


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## hberrie (Apr 28, 2012)

Thank you all fo your responses and encouragement. I didn't really expect to get any.


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## stevenson (Sep 12, 2011)

start small , groom, round pen, lead the horse around. have some one around with a gentle calm horse , ride in arena first, ride at a walk. and work up from there. You can do it, you will be nervous at first, but look at how proud you will be of yourself when you can go do whatever you wish.


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## EvilHorseOfDoom (Jun 17, 2012)

Reformed one here. Didn't drink a huge amount (although did occasionally binge drink - it was my only way of socialising...which sounds pretty weird I know) but every day I'd get home from work and I _had_ to have a glass or three of wine just to relax and settle down. Otherwise I'd be on edge for hours. Then I'd take a bottle of sherry, port or rum (cheap stuff) into my room and drink my way through that over two or three nights.

One day I decided I had to stop. Wasn't easy but thankfully it was only a psychological dependency and not a physical one (I understand quitting a physical alcohol addiction is _really_ rough and quite dangerous). I just made myself stop buying it and eventually went without a drink for six months. My anxiety issues came back with a vengeance though and I stopped being able to sleep for any good length of time. I have to deal with them in other more constructive ways now but I still get the craving for a drink to settle the nerves.


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## Cowboy Ringo (Sep 17, 2012)

lol, there were two DUI's given last year in this county for riding a horse drunk, that i know of.
I dont know where you live, but here in KY its against the law to ride a horse, or anything really while bring drunk.
I guess you okay if your on a trail or in the woods, but when you hit the road, its all over...


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## hberrie (Apr 28, 2012)

Evil horse of doom---I appreciate your candor and that does not sound weird at all. It sounds normal to me lol. I wish you the best of luck. It sounds like you have come a long way on our own. Do you have any support?


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## EvilHorseOfDoom (Jun 17, 2012)

hberrie said:


> Evil horse of doom---I appreciate your candor and that does not sound weird at all. It sounds normal to me lol. I wish you the best of luck. It sounds like you have come a long way on our own. Do you have any support?


Thank you. I was working with a therapist on my anxiety issues last year but mostly it's been on my own. Horses are wonderful at snapping one out of anxiety moments I find.

OP, I wish you all the best in your endeavours to ride without dutch courage - I'm the same when it comes to social situations (which I find far more scary than riding a crazy horse!). Just remember, baby steps. When you have an anxious thought, try stepping "out" of yourself and analyse the thought rationally - that's what my therapist told me and it really helped. Reward every little achievement you have, talk to yourself while you're going about it to remain calm (might make you _look_ crazy but it's actually really good at settling nerves). 

Also, try singing something while you ride - something long and slow and balladic is best, where you have to concentrate on the lyrics and remember the next verse.

Good luck! And please, if you wish to, share your journey with us!


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

Take some lessons with the calm, encouraging trainer. It'll help you to believe in yourself and overcome the fear of getting on horse.


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## nvr2many (Jan 18, 2011)

I too suffer from Anxiety. I take medication for it and just recently started counseling along with it to learn how to break bad habbits and gain tools. In the past I would do as EHOD stated and have bouts of binge drinking to "relax" or "self medicate". Well, I should have learned a long time ago that I cannot drink. I may be able to get away with moderate drinking for a few times but I ALWAYS would end up back where I didn't want to be. Soooooooooooooo, yes, I am an alcoholic. How do I cope, I don't touch the stuff. Like EHOD I do get the thought some times of how nice it would be to settle the nerves. I never needed it to ride tho. Actually that would make me feel weird but just in regular life and stress, its not a good combo for me. Anyway, if I can help in any way, just let me know! And congrats to you on your BIG step!!!


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## tim62988 (Aug 30, 2012)

i second what Kitten_Val says,

the calm 1/2 dead acting lesson horse is the best thing to build confidence, just make sure to find a calm trainer.

6 months worth of lessons can really change a person from "i can ride a horse" to a confident rider


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## Prinella (Jul 12, 2011)

I had a quick look at your past posts and it deffinately sounds like your boy isn't the easiest. 
I'd maybe try focussing on some ground work with him get some respect and hopefully that wont worry you as much. if someone has a plodder you can ride that won't stress you even better. Then when your ready hop back on but wait till you're ready


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## Prinella (Jul 12, 2011)

I had a quick look at your past posts and it deffinately sounds like your boy isn't the easiest. 
I'd maybe try focussing on some ground work with him get some respect and hopefully that wont worry you as much. if someone has a plodder you can ride that won't stress you even better. Then when your ready hop back on but wait till you're ready


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## heymckate (Nov 23, 2010)

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with this... but you can do it! I have faith in you.

I'm not an alcoholic, but I am very familiar with addiction. My best advice, which is not horse-related, is to seek a licensed counselor to help you work through your dependency and offer you the support you need. It's so incredibly difficult to fight addiction on your own, and if you simply try to white-knuckle it, you may find it hard to really leave it in your past.

Your fear of riding without alcohol is just another side issue, and I think a good counselor can help you with this as well. Other people have offered good advice as well about finding an easier horse to build confidence on.

Best of luck to you. If you ever need someone to chat with, whether about addiction or horses or any combination of the two, I'm just a PM away. You will never find judgment from me.


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## PurpleMonkeyWrench (Jun 12, 2012)

I am 23 an alcoholic. I'm a very stubborn person so it took me until I hit my rock bottom and lost EVERYTHING even the clothes on my back for me to realize I had a problem. I started AA in December 2011 and have been sober since =) I'm glad your trying to reach out for help because support is always a must. You CAN do it!!


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

I am not an alcoholic but have had some life experiences with it. My mother in law was an alcoholic. It's not easy to overcome but can be done. She was sober aside from one time falling off the wagon the entire time I knew her. She became very involved in her church and that seemed to be a huge help for her. At her funeral we found out more about that part of her life than we knew, she didn't talk about it much. My hubby was approached by a couple of women that asked if they could speak at the service. When they got up to talk they shared that they were alcoholics and that my mother in law saved them by starting a "Came to Believe" meeting and helped them find faith & sobriety. It was extremely touching. 

Be strong, you can do it. There are always willing ears here, mine included. Feel free to pm me anytime. 

As far as the horse side of things goes, like Val suggested I would urge you to find a trainer that you can work through the anxiety with. One that is experienced in helping riders rebuild confidence.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I don't drink per se but if I were to attempt to play piano with one person in attendance I would need a stiff shot to quell the shakes. I'm cool as a cucumber at a show when so many others are falling apart with bad nerves, yet can't play with anyone listening. Consequently, my playing is for my own enjoyment.


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## Mariss (Nov 16, 2012)

Seriously, way to go in recognizing the problem!

I'm going to assume, like all of us, that you love your horse dearly. And this might help you, on the days where its tough to not drink and get on your horse, think about how its not fair to your horse. That your horse does everything you ask, and you've never been honest and open with them. Horses are such good therapy, talk to them, honestly, as stupid as that sounds, sit down and tell them that your afraid, and it will really relax you, to just get that out there. Horses are impossible to lie to, and they deserve everything we have!


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## bmm45bm (Oct 2, 2012)

would love to hear about others in this forums by pm about their struggles with anxiety, irrational thoughts, fears, false feelings, ect, like many of you I drink to self medicate, and have been thru multiple medications to no avail, my mind did the unthinkable in that in trying to cope with the severe anxiety, it came up with defense mechanisms and emotional reactions to negate it which then leads to me thinking I actually enjoy the thoughts, and emotions, and false feelings, anyone else out there dealt with this?


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## nvr2many (Jan 18, 2011)

bmm45bm said:


> would love to hear about others in this forums by pm about their struggles with anxiety, irrational thoughts, fears, false feelings, ect, like many of you I drink to self medicate, and have been thru multiple medications to no avail, my mind did the unthinkable in that in trying to cope with the severe anxiety, it came up with defense mechanisms and emotional reactions to negate it which then leads to me thinking I actually enjoy the thoughts, and emotions, and false feelings, anyone else out there dealt with this?


I am the anxiety queen, pm me any time,


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

hberrie said:


> I know this is a strange post, but I am trying to stop drinking and realizing that I am scared to death to ride my horse without it. I know this is a long shot, but I thought it would be worth trying. Alcohol afforded me the bravery I needed to get on my horse and take control. I wasn't afraid of falling or anything else, but now I am. Anyone else relate out there?


Hberrie, kudos to you for recognizing a problem and not falling apart over it! I know too many drinkers who are adamant that they are innocent victims of the big bad liquor and have trouble accepting accountability.

More tools in your riding toolbox will help. Learn how to fall. Learn how to tuck and roll/tumble. Maybe you can get a friend who has se kind of gymnastics or cheer leading in the background. Or practice on your own and build the muscle memory. It will help to lessen injury if you can manage to help yourself. Additionally, work with a riding trainer and ask to be taught things like one rein stops and how to ride a spook and how to emergency dismount. Riding hard turns is handy - ask a barrel racer friend for tips.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BlueSpark (Feb 22, 2012)

I have many in my family. there are organizations out there to help you. I think te biggest step is realizing you have a problem and choosing to adress it. 

Right now, instead of learning to cope, you are using alcahol as a crutch. Learning to mentally cope with your fears is a tough thing, but it will help you in every aspect of life, and will be a valuable tool in the future

I have been in the possition of being shaking scared just to get on my horse, just take it one day at a time.


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## EvilHorseOfDoom (Jun 17, 2012)

DancingArabian said:


> Hberrie, kudos to you for recognizing a problem and not falling apart over it! I know too many drinkers who are adamant that they are innocent victims of the big bad liquor and have trouble accepting accountability.
> 
> More tools in your riding toolbox will help. Learn how to fall. Learn how to tuck and roll/tumble. Maybe you can get a friend who has se kind of gymnastics or cheer leading in the background. Or practice on your own and build the muscle memory. It will help to lessen injury if you can manage to help yourself. Additionally, work with a riding trainer and ask to be taught things like one rein stops and how to ride a spook and how to emergency dismount. Riding hard turns is handy - ask a barrel racer friend for tips.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Cannot agree more, DA. Learning how to fall is a fantastic thing, I taught myself just "falling" off furniture (not sure my mum was too keen on this!). Something that isn't brought into riding lessons enough IMO - I see so many otherwise very good riders breaking wrists, arms, collarbones etc because they don't know how to fall and stick their hand out - or they come off stiff as a board and I'm cringing and hoping they don't land headfirst! 

It's a great confidence-booster to know that even if everything goes awry you're not very likely to get badly hurt. Of course, injuries still can happen no matter what you do, but to date (even with riding Brock the bucking bronco and lots of crazy spooky/bolter TBs) my worst injury is still a broken toe from my foot not coming out of the stirrup properly when I came off. Which considering I've been sent flying heaps of times is pretty reassuring 

And the one rein stop is invaluable. Knowing you can deal with something _before_ it becomes a problem is very reassuring.


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## Darrin (Jul 11, 2011)

DancingArabian said:


> Hberrie, kudos to you for recognizing a problem and not falling apart over it! I know too many drinkers who are adamant that they are innocent victims of the big bad liquor and have trouble accepting accountability.
> 
> More tools in your riding toolbox will help. Learn how to fall. Learn how to tuck and roll/tumble. Maybe you can get a friend who has se kind of gymnastics or cheer leading in the background. Or practice on your own and build the muscle memory. It will help to lessen injury if you can manage to help yourself. Additionally, work with a riding trainer and ask to be taught things like one rein stops and how to ride a spook and how to emergency dismount. Riding hard turns is handy - ask a barrel racer friend for tips.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Believe it or not but martial arts classes is a good place to learn how to fall. Since getting tossed around is part of the sport they teach you how to fall first.


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

hberrie said:


> Thank you all fo your responses and encouragement. I didn't really expect to get any.


 I am guessing alot of things beside riding are more intimidating with out drinking. I used to be hell on wheels riding a snowmobile and I was much more couragous after a few drinks. Thats why they call it a shot of courage. Take baby steps and ride were you are most comfortable and under control.


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## Celeste (Jul 3, 2011)

You are a lot more apt to actually fall off of your horse if you are drinking.


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## Radiowaves (Jul 27, 2010)

hberrie said:


> I know this is a strange post, but I am trying to stop drinking and realizing that I am scared to death to ride my horse without it. ...........


You have taken a really big/good step by admitting it to yourself. You have also taken a HUGE and difficult step by acknowledging it publicly. 

I know it's easy for me to say, but please remember: it's not how many times you fall, but how many times you get up! Keep your eyes on the prize and don't ever give up!!!

The fear that has crept into your riding experience is, I suspect, quite unnerving. However, you can beat it! Riding stone sober may be a difficult thing, but it won't always be.

I remember watching an interview with a famous rock and roll singer who literally couldn't remember what it was like to perform while sober. However, he had gotten to a place in his life where he HAD to get sober or "slip off the edge" and wind up in deep trouble..... What really stuck with me about the interview was that after he succeeded in totally kicking alcohol, he was scared and totally unnerved at the thought of performing sober. However, he worked through it and ultimately beat the fear.

You can do it. And I'm telling you now, and I mean it: I will pray for you to specifically work through and get totally past this fear. DO NOT GIVE UP! You will look back at some point and will be so glad that you did not give up....


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## LynnF (Jun 1, 2011)

I don't really have any advice I just wanted to say good for you for admitting you have a problem. It is not easy to admit (especially on a public forum) and I am proud of you. Good luck with everything!


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