# I have to just man up and go for it...still nervous



## AllThePrettyHorses (Dec 15, 2010)

As some of you know, I'm always posting on here about how nervous I am on the trails, and taking my horse off the property.

Well, in the past few days I've decided I've had enough with being scared all the time, and have been researching and reading everything I possibly can to prepare myself. I tell you, knowledge is great for low confidence. Now that I know how to handle any shenanigans she could throw at me, I feel a lot braver.

I'm still...hesitant. It's not that I'm afraid, exactly. If she spooks, I know I can just shut her down. If she wants to run home, I know how to handle that, too. I'm just anxious that something will go wrong, and shatter my confidence again. The one thing I absolutely fear is her getting into her high-headed, "OMG it's a bird! It's a small shed on the horizon! Lalalalalala I'm not going to listen to my rider because everything else is so much more interesting!" state. That state always leads to her seeing something that worries her, then leads to her getting incredibly nervous and upset, and then...the ride is ruined. Often even me putting her to work and -trying- to get her mind on me has no effect, and she finds a way to do everything I ask, yet still be completely zoned out.

You're probably all sick of hearing me whine, but...does anyone have any advice or confidence-boosting words for me? Ugh, I worry too much..


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## AllThePrettyHorses (Dec 15, 2010)

I just wanted to add: when she's in that outward-focused mood, whenever I ask her to do something, she'll get really hyper about it. For example, when she's really excited about other things and I ask her to whoa, let's say, she'll toss her head and be very stubborn, trying to move off again. When I tell her to walk off, she'll take huge mega-steps and just generally is resentful when I ask her to really focus in. If I circle, she'll circle as fast as she can so that she can finish it and then go back to looking at all the scary scenery. Does anyone have any ideas on how to help this?


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## Trails (Jan 28, 2009)

I wish I had a quick and easy solution for you, but I'm not sure that one exists. Just something that time, patience, and consistency will take care off. 

I get a nervous every time I get on a horse, my own included. They're large animals that can hurt you. 

Climb on!


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## mbender (Jul 22, 2009)

I think you have the right attitude. The only way you are going to get over any fear issues are to just take the plunge. If you feel that confident in how to shut her down when she acts silly you are on the right track. Any negative thoughts will not help you but keeping positive about how you will handle a situation is your only solution. 

Take your rides slow. Baby steps. The more you do the more confident you will become and she will become more confident in you. If for some reason you find she is not paying attention to you and she is ready to explode on a ride, make her do circles until she is paying attention to you. No this will not make your rides very enjoyable but you will learn together how to overcome many fears. 

You have to ride with confidence no matter what. I was taught to not pay much attention to the thing that scares my horse. Deep breathing and looking away is better. Talking to her to reassure her and keeping her calm will help both of you. 

I believe with the attitude you have now is greatly going to improve your relationship and it will only get better the more you work together.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## QOS (Dec 8, 2008)

I understand your fears! I have them myself. Baby steps and loud clapping when you meet a goal, make a ride that you weren't white knuckled on, etc.

I cantered The Biscuit yesterday and he didn't try to run off and gallop or throw his head up. I am still patting myself on the back! Take each step forward as a major victory because it is. It gets you one step closer to the rider you know you can be.

Good luck and keep posting!!


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## trailhorserider (Oct 13, 2009)

Some horses just get really distracted and hyper out on the trail, and usually it's because they aren't ridden out there enough. My Foxtrotter mare is the same way. With another horse she is good-as-gold. By herself, she is kind of a nervous, reactive mess. There are some days she will simply not walk home no matter how much I work her. 

But, I have confidence that she is not a dangerous horse and is not trying to do things on purpose just to annoy me. I really think she is insecure and can't help being nervous when she is alone. 

The solution? In my opinion it is to get out there and ride more and more and more. Hours at a time. I had a wonderful ride on Saturday. I rode with two of my friends. One in the morning, one in the afternoon. I actually rode for 6 1/2 hours that day, and by the time we got back, my mare was actually willing to walk home. :lol: 

I'm sorry I don't know of a way to shut down that mood when she gets into it. But, if you do it more and more and more I honestly feel the horse can't help but get better and more used to going out. A tired horse is a good horse. Just about any horse that never leaves the property is going to be nervous, so that is normal. You just have to ride through it and (hopefully) have confidence that even though your horse is a wacky mess at times, he/she isn't intentionally trying to hurt you or scare you. She is just being a horse, and sometimes they are that way. 

I guess what it boils down to, is that after a while you get a comfort level with the horse, even when it isn't acting it's best, and after a while the horse will get a comfort level with going out. You guys just need LOTS of trail miles, and to have fun and not let her acting up ruin your ride. 

Tell yourself "riding is fun, riding is fun." Really, that does help. :wink:


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## trailhorserider (Oct 13, 2009)

PS. If you can ride several days in a row, that really helps. The first ride you can expect her to be a mess. But then, sometimes like magic the following day(s) the horse settles in and acts normal, even if they were a basket case the day before. That is what I have found anyway.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I always say to myself, "this is so boring." to calm the feeling that it's anything but boring. You kind of heave a sigh and act like it's so boring and not worth much attention.


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## SailorGriz (Nov 28, 2010)

Pretty, just keep in mind those famous words: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." Of course, if we're riding horses we also need to add on a few others, often with some choice sailor induced language, but that's just part of the fun! 

Other's have given good advice. Ride often to help both of you get used to it. Take baby steps, just a little bit more when you both are ready for it. The old adage of "jumping in with both feet" is probably not a good idea right now! But, taking lots of baby steps will get you there!

Good luck! And keep us posted!


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## henrybo99 (Feb 1, 2011)

i know what youre talkin about they get all antsy like u kind ask him move over just alittle bit and they start trotting and stuff like that i think the best thing is to keep yourself relaxed and he when he is zoned out try petting him just to remind him youre still there not that he is off in his own world.


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## PaintHorseMares (Apr 19, 2008)

trailhorserider said:


> The solution? In my opinion it is to get out there and ride more and more and more. Hours at a time. I had a wonderful ride on Saturday. I rode with two of my friends. One in the morning, one in the afternoon. I actually rode for 6 1/2 hours that day, and by the time we got back, my mare was actually willing to walk home. :lol:
> 
> I'm sorry I don't know of a way to shut down that mood when she gets into it. But, if you do it more and more and more I honestly feel the horse can't help but get better and more used to going out. A tired horse is a good horse. Just about any horse that never leaves the property is going to be nervous, so that is normal. You just have to ride through it and (hopefully) have confidence that even though your horse is a wacky mess at times, he/she isn't intentionally trying to hurt you or scare you. She is just being a horse, and sometimes they are that way.
> 
> ...


Exactly, and there is no substitute for age and hours/miles in the saddle for both you and your horse to build confidence, experience, and trust....and it can take a _long_ time for a horse to feel confident out alone. To avoid frustration with your horse, keep in mind that horses higher in the herd pecking order (or even better, lead mare) tend to have more 'natural' confidence, do better out alone, be more focused, and less spooky right from the start than horses lower in the order.


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## AllThePrettyHorses (Dec 15, 2010)

PaintHorseMares said:


> To avoid frustration with your horse, keep in mind that horses higher in the herd pecking order (or even better, lead mare) tend to have more 'natural' confidence, do better out alone, be more focused, and less spooky right from the start than horses lower in the order.


Yeah, my horse is right at the bottom of the pecking order...so that could be a factor.

Thank you guys so much. Truly. You have all been so kind and helpful, and I actually do feel better. I'm still a little jittery, but I will for sure take her out as soon as possible. Thanks again, you've all been a huge help


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## Nokota (Jan 6, 2011)

I had a few runaways and unexpected dismounts with my 3YO mare. Everytime I went to catch her to ride I was nervous that my hands were shaking. I took her out of the arena and rode my old paint and ponied her so she could get used to all of the "out there" stimulus while my old steady paint never batted an eye at what went on around him. I think she learned that if he did not care then there was nothing to be afraid of. I then trail rode her with my wife or daughter on another horse. I was tense, could not carry on a conversation, and watched her head the whole time. I then proceeded to ride her alone out on the trail. Last year as a 4 year old, I put 200 miles on her and probably 175 were solo. The more I rode her the better she did. But through all this the one word of advice I can give to you is BREATHE!!!!!!! dont tense up and hold your breath. Always remember to breathe slow and deep. This will come across to your horse as confidence, and the more confident you are to all the stimuli out there the more your horse will think......If she does not seem worried, why should I be. So if something scary pops up or if you think something will scare her, remember to breathe.

Second word of advice is to ride your horse. Dont be a passenger sitting on a recliner, be an active participant. keep your form up. Legs, hips, back and shoulders in proper position, heels down. This way if your horse does do a quick side step or jumps you are ready for it. I am not saying tense up and be ready for something to scare her at any minute, but just keep proper form so you are in a position to stay on if something does happen and you do not find yourself sitting in space as the ground comes up to meet you.

Good luck and remember to have fun. That is why we are all out there!


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## mbender (Jul 22, 2009)

Good Advice Nokota! Breathing is a big thing. Keeping your mind occupied on something besides what your horse is focused on helps. Very important to not let them feel your nerves.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WickedNag (Sep 7, 2010)

Is there a confident horse and rider you can ride with while your horse and you get used to the noises and sights on a trail. It may help you both a lot till you gain some confidence.


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## phantomhorse13 (Feb 18, 2011)

i'm guessing going out with a quiet, experienced horse isn't an option? that would certainly me my first suggestion. [and forgive me for not knowing, but i am new here and not familiar with your background.]

is it possible to take your horse out on trail in-hand to start with? it will help get her focused on you and not all the other stuff to look at. then when she is relaxed (and you are relaxed), hop on and ride a bit. if you get to a place where her/your nerves are getting the better of you again, hop off and do more groundwork. that way your mare gets wet saddle blankets and you don't have a nervous breakdown..

the other thing i like to do with nervous horses is sing. if you are singing, you can't be holding your breath. simple songs like 'row row row your boat' i always found helpful, as they have basic rhythms. you might feel a tad silly, but you will not feel tense!


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## AllThePrettyHorses (Dec 15, 2010)

Correct, I do not have another horse to ride with. If I did, my troubles would likely be long over.

I could walk her on the trail, but ideally, I'd like to ride it as much as possible. I can try it, anyways. 

We've been having a full dose of winter weather, so I haven't been able to ride in a bit. Once I finally do get out there, I'll let you all know how it goes.


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## phoenix (Jun 7, 2010)

In the summer last year my barn friends organized a trail ride and said they were taking me and my horse. I was a basket case, i was so nervous. He hadn't been ridden away from a barn setting in about 4 years and i was considering pulling out and telling them i couldn't go. 

Well the big day arrived, i lunged him before he got on the trailer, lunged him once he was off at the other end and got on. fingers crossed i was hoping for the best. He wasn't an angel, i didn't expect him to be. In fact he bucked before we'd even gotten onto the trail and i stamped that nonsense down straight away. I talked to my friends the whole ride and just tried to concentrate on being as calm as i could. there were a few hair raising moments but i tried to keep my cool and my horse ended up doing fine. not as perfect as everyone else but no one was hurt so i called it a win. 

i found that when the conversation died or we were going up/down the little hills singing to myself really helped me stay calm. i can't wait to get out on the trails with my friends again this year and get more trail miles on my horse. If i had backed out i'd still be completely petrified that he would run off/kill me accidentally with his spooky distracted behaviour.


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## SailorGriz (Nov 28, 2010)

I guess I'm just not understanding. My ONLY purpose for riding is to get out on the trails and RIDE! I can't always get out so I also ride locally, around the farm. But I ride to get out and away.

Mr. Big is NOT always a perfect horse. Yesterday, as an example, he was an absolute pill and was afraid of virtually everything--quite literally, even his own shadow, at one point. He was WAY more horse, yesterday, than I could handle. I don't know what his problem was, but I knew I was WAY over-matched.

But I still rode him for awhile. It was good for me to have to "fight" with a very recalcitrant horse. I didn't push it too long because I knew that sooner or later he would "win" and I'd get hurt. But I didn't just roll over and play dead, either.

I was, however, considerate of his needs and fears and desires--I just made sure he knew I was the one in charge, more or less. 

I would never hesitate to take Mr. Big where he doesn't want to go. At the same time, given a choice, I would never force him into a situation where he is obviously pretty well terrified. But I'm the boss. I decide. As soon as I let him decide, all is lost. 

I applaud you for taking your horse out on the trail, out of it's, and your, comfort zone. A horse and rider are a team in the true sense of the word. But, in every team one member is the leader. Make sure it is you, not the horse.

For what it's worth, today Mr. Big was pretty much settled down. I have no idea what happened yesterday to upset him, nor today to calm him down. I try to honor his concerns and issues--but I'm in charge. Period. And he just has to understand that I'm in charge. Period.


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## JerBear (Jan 23, 2011)

All I can say is if your calm she will be "calmer".... Not saying she wont get a little excited but if you stay relaxed and not tense up and send vibes to her that your scared you will be fine. In other words ride what she gives you without being scared or tense because they can feel that and some horses REALLY vibe off it. Let her be nervous prance around do whatever she will eventually realize its not a bother because your not tensing up about it. RIDE what the horse gives you!  Good luck! I love trails! Best thing in the entire world.


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## bbsmfg3 (Aug 12, 2010)

Your an accident waiting to happen. No way should you be riding this horse anywhere, anyplace. This is a great way to get serious hurt.

Horses have a very keen sense of reading your every mood. If you are the least bit nervous they sense it and will act out accordingly. They are a flight animal and when they sense your nervousness, they are very likely to try and flee, leaving you behind any way they can.

You need to gain confidence on a well trained horse that has, been there, done that, millions of times. Usually an older horses that is calm and trained to take care of it's rider.


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## Serg5000 (Feb 22, 2011)

I would have never thought a horse would so many issue's. I have seen many horses on trails and they look at home. After reading this thread, that clearly isn't the case. I have always thought, you get on and go. I myself am just getting into horses so I have no knowledge of what to expect.


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

AllThePrettyHorses said:


> If I circle, she'll circle as fast as she can so that she can finish it and then go back to looking at all the scary scenery. Does anyone have any ideas on how to help this?


I think part of your solution is in what you wrote up there. She'll circle faster just to get back to looking around. The answer is, don't circle. Let her make half a circle, then bring her back the other way...lather/rinse/repeat. She's likes to stay a step ahead of you, so call her on it. If she reacts to something, keep her facing it instead of letting her turn away from it. 

I personally never let my horse do a complete circle. My logic is, if he gets his butt to it, we'll be off to the races since his hind end is where the power is. If he's afraid of something, he's not allowed to turn away from it. I use one rein and then the other to keep him facing whatever he's afaid of but ask for nothing in terms of forward movement until he's calm. Sometimes it takes 10 minutes of left rein/right rein, but eventually he stops, takes a long look and then sighs and realizes he's still alive. At that point we're free to move on. 

It really sounds like you're more than ready to go. Like you said, knowledge is fantastic for building confidence. I'll take that a step further and say that the confidence also magically makes your horse more compliant and relaxed. You can do it!!


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