# I feel so plain it makes me cry



## starsnosigns (Sep 29, 2013)

Is anyone else here really plain? There is really nothing beautiful about me...I've never had a boyfriend or anything like that. It's pretty sad...I've never had a man interested in me at all...apparently my grandmother as beautiful when she was young but I never was. I don't know why...I wasn't even a cute kid. Not at all...I was plain as a child, too...I remember I had pure white skin at some point...but it was looking really pale and clammy mostly...not genuinly ivory. Whatever...I don't care that much anymore.


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

Oh girl, I can relate on being plain. So can one of my daughters.

But! That does not define you! And that does not control your world!

While we may never get the attention in the way that some others do, we can shine in our own ways. 

You will have to trust me on this. Trust me, and others, as you are too close to the situation to be objective.


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

Listen to this for now. "More Beautiful You!"


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## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

Men are NOT the end of the world.

I was with a man who wanted me for my looks and turn me in to a trophy wife.. NO WAY.

A man will value you as a person. Not all of them will initially, but you'll find the right one.

You shouldn't give up. You need to change your own views on yourself. It doesn't matter what others think, just make sure you are happy and confident in yourself.


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## kiltsrhott (Mar 11, 2012)

I am not an overly attractive woman either. I'm very average, with not much of a figure, brown, frizzy hair and brown eyes. I had a terrible acne problem when I was a teenager and it still hasn't completely resolved. My nose is a big, hooked nose and my ears stick out. I'm also not very outgoing. I had two close friends growing up, who were not pictures of popularity either. I never dated throughout high school, and I had some moments where I thought I was downright ugly and undesirable.

When I was in college I met a lot more people with common interests, and made friends. One of the guy friends I made ended up becoming my husband. He admitted that when we first met he did not find me attractive and thought I was actually a little weird, but he said I became attractive to him as we got to know each other.

Looking back on my teenage years, and my childhood, I'm actually grateful that I was not one of those popular kids I always aspired to be and that I was never a bombshell as I got older, because all of those people were tangled up in shallow relationships that didn't last beyond their school years. I have old classmates divorced with kids already, struggling to find a job, and here I am, happily married to a man who loves me for who I am, not what I look like, and earning a decent living because I focused on more important life goals while I was younger. I earned decent grades and worked hard instead of maintaining a dramatic social life. And those two close friends I had growing up, are still close friends.

Young beauty is just that, young beauty. It goes away. Everyone ages, goes gray or loses their hair, gets wrinkles. People get sick or injured and lose their good looks. Don't worry about attracting a man through your appearance. Just be yourself, and someday you'll find someone who loves you no matter what you look like and no matter what life throws at you. That's what real love is and what the strongest relationships are built upon.

And I'm sure you're not as plain as you think you are. Everyone is always their own worst critic. Perhaps you should get a new hair cut that flatters your face or buy some new clothes that fit your shape to freshen up your look and boost your self confidence. I know this is something helps me feel better when I'm feeling low.


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## Rideordie112 (Dec 7, 2013)

I feel ya! I'm nothing spectacular looking either.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## redpony (Apr 17, 2012)

I'm going to put this in horsey terms, "you can't ride color"! Someday you'll come across a man that is savvy enough to realize this. Breeding and training (your personality) is far more important than being flashy. Relax and be yourself, love usually comes along when you least expect it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Red Gate Farm (Aug 28, 2011)

*“If you feel your value lies in being merely decorative, I fear that someday you might find yourself believing that’s all that you really are. Time erodes all such beauty, but what it cannot diminish is the wonderful workings of your mind: Your humor, your kindness, and your moral courage. These are the things I cherish so in you. I so wish I could give my girls a more just world. But I know you’ll make it a better place." -- Marmee, Little Women” *


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Presentation is _everything_. I roomed w someone that, w/o makeup and “accessories” would have definitely qualified as “plain”. But, her personality, style and the way she carried herself, confidence, her ease of going did not say “plain” and she was not “unnoticed”. I was still very shy at the time, did not welcome or appreciate being notice or conversation w “strangers” and my style was geared toward horses, of course, and I was often mistaken for “snobbish”, which upset me on several levels, but how to fix? Yeah, presentation – which isn’t easy to just jump right in and “change”, but it is everything.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

the world was built by plain people. we ARE the 99%!


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

You are who you are meant to be, so be at peace with that.

The people who judge by the outside trappings, the lottery of facial structure and build, are not worth worrying about, superficial people judging on superficial things.

You are a beautiful and unique person, there is only one of you, and that makes you, and me, and everyone else special. 

You cannot change the frame you were given, I was born a shire horse, big limbs, heavy bone, plain color, I never will be an Arab, no matter how hard I work out, wish or try, and you know that's OK.

See my Siggy line, I AM ENOUGH, it is my new mantra, taken from Brene Brown, I highly recommend looking her up here start here for a taste....


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## laurapratt01 (Oct 3, 2012)

I'm plain as well and although most of the time it doesn't bother me, sometimes it makes me want to cry too.
I'm rectangle shaped, with love handles, prone to acne, big round nosed and round faced with mouse colored hair. I didn't date throughout high school and even in college I only had one short term boyfriend before my husband. I was asked out a few times throughout high school and even in college although I declined. I assume that I was asked out at all because of my personality. I'm very easy going and I love to laugh  
Most of my friends are extremely pretty so that's when I feel at my worst.
My advice to you is to make the best out of what God gave you. Let your personality shine through and you find a great guy. It worked for me. I'm still plain but my husband tells me I'm beautiful every day and he's the only one that matters in my book


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## NeryLibra (Oct 9, 2013)

You will find a person who loves you, and it won't matter what you look like because his love will be absolute. At the end of it all, everyone's physical body will fail them. Their skin will sag, wrinkles will form, fat deposits will build up or they'll whither away as death begins to take them. But your personality, that'll be yours until the day your light goes out. Personality is the key to the world my friends, because some of the prettiest (physically) people I've seen have been some of the blandest, most boring people I've ever met. I consider those people "plain" despite their physical appearance.

Rejoice in your personality, don't cry because your physical appearance isn't on the same level with someone else's.


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## Nutty Saddler (May 26, 2009)

Sometimes being ' gifted ' comes with a terrible price tag - and becomes a curse.
Other women are envious of you which can lead to hostility and mistrust , people don't take you seriously as they can't see past your looks , people at work think you only have the job as you look good etc
And when you get older you come to see that you don't have that many real friends and when your shallow husband has left you for a younger you, you find yourself alone .
Be a good person and all will be better in the long run - I would rather be with someone for who they really are than what they look like - someday you will have someone in your life and you will know that they want to be with the person you are rather than the person you look like.


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## Ashkat128 (Nov 4, 2013)

I always felt plain growing up too. It helped a bit after I left my teens, my cheeks hollowed out a bit more and my cheek bones became a little more prominent, but by then my thoughts on my looks were set.

What I've learned since then? It was mostly all in my head. I'm sure your's is too... in fact I bet you're beautiful  some of the most beautiful people I know think they are ugly. No matter how good you look there will always be something you dislike about yourself or envy in another person lol. There's no winning.

I didn't start dating till I was 20. I was a tom boy- baggy clothes, long flat hair and muscles from the barn. I found makeup and started dressing in more flattering clothes. Looking back I didn't look too much different despite my best efforts... but I felt BEAUTIFUL. And that's when I started getting compliments from other people and male attention.

A man should be the least of your worries but it will come in time. If you are really wanting someone in your life be proactive and start looking for them rather than waiting for them to fall from the sky... just be careful not to equate male attention with your self worth and feeling beautiful.

The man I'm with now has taught me so much about myself and makes me feel beautiful no matter what. Some of his favourite things about me are things I have always hated... He adores "my cute button nose". My flat round nose I've hated since I could look in the mirror. Loves my freckles. Freckles? Try acne spots... When we started dating I would catch him staring sometimes. He always said it was nothing when I asked why until one day when he smiled and just said "I never thought I could be with a woman like you... you're perfect". I was taken aback. You'll find your knight in shining armour someday. One who thinks you're perfect. Until then you need to find yourself. So buck up and start acting like you're beautiful, because you are 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Stars we are as plain as we make ourselves.

I too don't fit into a "category" that one would consider beautiful or even pretty. But I make up for it by trying to be an awesome friend, using my MENTAL talents to do good, dance like a mad woman, smile at EVERYONE I pass by, and giving tremendous handshakes and hugs like nobody's business (not that I like to).

It's all in how we make others feel about themselves that makes us "beautiful" and "exceptional" not our appearance.

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ShadowRider (Feb 28, 2014)

As everyone else here said, beauty comes from within. My friends were prettier than I was, they dated the cutest guys, while I was sitting in the corner feeling sorry for myself. I thought I'd never find a boyfriend, until one day I met my husband at a friend's house. 

Almost 30 years later we are still happily married and truly love each other - while my pretty friends had one shallow relationship after another, went through ugly divorces, and are now spending all of their money on plastic surgery to keep looking 'young and attractive.' And I am spending my money on horses instead !

You will find someone when you least expect it, just give yourself a chance.


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## Endiku (Dec 6, 2010)

After a while, every human being on the planet will lose his or her beauty. Our skin will sag and become thin and veiny. We'll lose weight or gain weight. We'll hunch over or become artheritic. Our bones will become brittle. After a while, the playing field 'levels' out physically, and then what are we left with?

What we are left with, is who we REALLY are. How we handle stress, how we reply to people whom we dislike, how we carry ourself and how to react to people around us. What we are left with is our confidence in who we are as individuals, and with our views of other people. Those things don't go away. Those things slowly take over what the world sees on the outside until only what you're REALLY made of counts. 

Which are you? Are you kind hearted, strong? Do you put other people above yourself, and enjoy the little things in life? Are you willing to help out when others aren't, studious and hard working? Do you lift your friends up when they're down? Do you enjoy a good conversation? Those are the things that will shine when the man you are destined for comes. 

Physical beauty is nice, but it goes away. Qualities that make you a good friend do not, and they are what will earn you respect. 

I'm only 18, but I've never dated either. I don't get a lot of romantic interest from guys either. Sometimes it makes me feel a little sad to see my prettier friends meeting guys and having seemingly wonderful relationships...until I step back and take a closer looks. Those friends...they aren't happy most of the time. In fact, they are so unhappy that they come to ME to ask how I'm so happy. They know that even though they may have that smoking hot boyfriend and tons of friends, I have something that they do not.

And I had no idea what they meant for a while...but then I realized, that it is contentment that I have. I don't have it all of the time of course, some times I'm jealous. But I have learned to enjoy my life, who I am, how I look, and who my friends are, just as they are. I tell myself every day not to compare myself to other people...no one is perfect. I try to be ok with who I am. And you know what? Because I'm not worried about how I look, or what others think of me, people notice me. I don't have many friends my age, probably because so many of them obsess over themselves and it annoys me, but I have genuine friends who see me for the hard working person that I am. It doesn't matter that I have scars and acne, that I'm short and too skinny. It doesn't matter that my nose is kind of bit and my hips are wide, or that I slouch more than I should or that I don't have perfect people skills. I'm just who I am, and I love people. I love to work hard to achieve my goals. 

Someday I'll meet my perfect man, and he won't care what I look like. In return, I will not care what he looks like. Heck, most of my guy friends aren't exactly gorgeous like many of my friend's boyfriends are, but you'll find they they're respectful, thoughtful, and genuine, and that is why I like them.

Sometimes you WILL get lucky and meet someone who is gorgeous inside and out, and that is great. But the bottom line is that in the end, why does that matter? You can't take beauty to the grave.


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## amberly (Dec 16, 2012)

starsnosigns said:


> Is anyone else here really plain? There is really nothing beautiful about me...I've never had a boyfriend or anything like that. It's pretty sad...I've never had a man interested in me at all...apparently my grandmother as beautiful when she was young but I never was. I don't know why...I wasn't even a cute kid. Not at all...I was plain as a child, too...I remember I had pure white skin at some point...but it was looking really pale and clammy mostly...not genuinly ivory. Whatever...I don't care that much anymore.



Just last year I couldn't agree more - but let me tell you that you don't need a guy to make you happy. You don't need anyone to be itnerested in yuo to feel great. You don't need to look in the mirror and ask yourself why you aren't beautiful - because you are truly gorgeous. If god wanted you to look or act any different he could change that right now, but he has an entire life plan for you and everything that has happened in your life ahs happened for a reason - whether we know that reason or not.

At times I still don't think I'm pretty. I have never had a boyfriend and no one in my school could care less if I died. I don't have many friends, I only have one I could truly count on but even then I have doubts.
I am plain. All of my grandparents and great grandparents were also 'more beautiful' than me - but that was who God created them to be. They might have thought that they don't look pretty when they were your age, but all you need to do is look up at the sky, hold your arms out and thank the ord for creating the person you are today, because you are truly unique, gorgeous, and one of a kind.

I was a plain child too. All of my life my teeth have been all over the place. I hate it. I jsut want to rip them all out and get fake ones in because at least then I will have "normal teeth." My friends laugh at me because I am 16 years old and still have baby teeth. But uo know what? That is who God made me to be. Slow teeth is what he gave me in my life and there is nothing I can do about it - but I know that someday I will have straight teeth again as when I got my very first teeths.
I am a ginger - and in case you don't know, gingers cannot tan. I burn, but I cannot tan. Put me next to my whitest friend and I will be even whiter - but thank the Lord I am not as white as snow, haha!!
But that's okay. That is who I was made to be.

You may not think you are pretty, you may think that you aren't wanted in this world. You may think that no one cares or that you are destined to walk this world alone forever. But let me tell you this.
*You are not alone.
I* care. *I care.* 
You may super plus size or be skinny as a twig. you may have scars or your skin may be perfect. You may think that you aren't beautiful or that you are the most beautfiul person on earth.
God created you exactly how you are today and don't you dare try to change that. If God wanted you to be any different, he would have made you differently. 

I could still agree with you on these things, but you know what? Don't worry about it. Just don't. It took me 16 years to accept myself of How I was. I am currently 16 years old and finally learned that no matter what you do, where you go, or who you meet - people will treat you the exact same as where you were before. Everyone is different, everyone was made to be different. Everyone has their own lives, their own dreams and their own personal problems. 
What you need to do is just take a deep breath, let everything fade away, and exhale. Wehny uo Exhale you become the person *you* want to be. Not who someone else want's you to be. *You* make your own decisions. *You* get to choose what you do and who you will become.
No one, absolutely *no one*, can do that for you.
Don't let people control your life and mind, just walk away and find someone new.

It took me a long time to say no to who used to be one of my greatest friends. They showed me their true colors of themselves and who they created themselves to be and I dind't like it. I don't want that influence in my life and I don't want her to be around my friends - but I can't control that. 


Just be yourself and ignore those around you who don't accept you because truly, they are missing out on loads of fun. I know lots of people are missing out of tons of fun and insanity with me simply because they don't like who God created me to be. But that is okay - we have 100 years to live, these first few 16 will not matter ten years from now. Ten years from now you will have completely different friends and those jerks in high school will be gone. Everyone, and you get to start fresh and become *you.*


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

starsnosigns said:


> Is anyone else here really plain? There is really nothing beautiful about me...I've never had a boyfriend or anything like that. It's pretty sad...I've never had a man interested in me at all...apparently my grandmother as beautiful when she was young but I never was. I don't know why...I wasn't even a cute kid. Not at all...I was plain as a child, too...I remember I had pure white skin at some point...but it was looking really pale and clammy mostly...not genuinly ivory. Whatever...I don't care that much anymore.


You are just kidding right?

You're beautiful.....and don't ever forget that.....


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## starsnosigns (Sep 29, 2013)

thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. I'm glad I have my friends here at horseforum.com.


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## squirrelfood (Mar 29, 2014)

Beauty---TRUE beauty---comes from within. It's the way your soul shines through your eyes as you look at the world around you. What you look like on the OUTSIDE really doesn't matter all that much to people who are real. Only false people care how you look on the outside. When you are old and wrinkled up, stoop-shouldered and a little pot bellied from age like me, you KNOW this!
Start by getting to really KNOW who you are within; all your good points and qualities, and yes, your faults too, since we can't fix those til we acknowledge what they are. Then work on learning to like yourself foe who you are--not how you look, because THAT is the REAL you. Once you can do that, you will be amazed at the people who think you look just fine. Because you do. It will shine through.


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## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

I can tell you that beauty won't attract you the right guy. I would call myself pretty plain as well, not ugly, but not beautiful, but people tell me I'm cute and pretty, so I go along with it. ;-) 

But why do they tell me I'm cute and pretty? It's not my looks, but my personality. Think of your outside as a surprise. Surprises might look good, but they may be bad. As people find out who you are, your "surprise" turns either uglier or more beautiful. In other words, your looks are either enhanced or torn down by your personality.

Case in point: My first boyfriend. He wasn't a handsome guy. He was overweight, had squinty eyes, moles on his face, fat cheeks, and a butt chin. This is when I didn't know him. HOWEVER, when we became friends, I became attracted to him and found him to be handsome. 

After I broke up with him after a year or so of disrespect, pushing me to do stuff with him, and trying to outshine me (we dated for three years - this happened in the third year), I found his recent pictures terribly homely. Because his personality became homely as well. 

Anyway, you should also know that, apparently in my cute/pretty state, I haven't had a boyfriend since this guy. I've had more unwanted advances than I can count on two hands in the last three years by old men, creepy young men, and scuzzy young men. The guys that seem decent that I flirt with are only looking for a good time. Otherwise, I don't get attention. 

In addition to that, I'm pretty shy, and I've been going through a period of depression where I'm always tired and don't feel up to meeting anyone. Of course, that isn't really who I am, but I suppose that's how I come off as.

So what's good about being plain? The fact that when a guy comes after you, it's because he really wants you, not just your body, butt, or breasts.


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## bkylem (Sep 21, 2013)

I don't know why, but we all have a tendency to compare ourselves against those above us rather than those below. I do it from time to time as well and I have to remind myself that there are thousands of people who would trade places with me in a second. They would with you as well. I promise you.

I am short, a bit overweight, have a birthmark on the back of my neck in the shape of North America (and almost as large), scars on my hands and thinning hair. I'm not a big fan of mirrors. . Having said that, I couldn't be healthier and anyone in a hospital or in pain would love to have my cosmetic "defects". 
There will always be people with more than you and always be far more with less. Much less. Take a minute and really look around you.
I know many individuals who may be considered plain or ordinary and I honestly could care less. I also occasionally see some who are quite attractive and I again could care less. I only judge others by how they treat me. There is a girl at the stables who would possibly be considered unattractive, but she is probably the kindest and most giving rider there . I love being around her and to me she is the most beautiful person. She is just one of those people who makes you feel better about yourself. Plain ? Maybe. Beautiful ? Yes

I'll bet you are too !

I hope life brings you everything ......


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## Canterklutz (Jul 20, 2012)

I had a friend who was quite frankly very below average with a huge hooked nose who thought she was the most beautiful person ever. She married an incredibly attractive man and had very beautiful children (who took after the father's looks). However, she was not an arrogant person but rather exuded confidence. People are attracted to confidence. The biggest barrier that can repel people is not homeliness but rather lack of self confidence.


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## VickiRose (Jul 13, 2013)

I'm an overweight 39 year old with mousey hair and pale skin with freckles. When I am just kicking back at home I am beyond plain... but if I make an effort when hubby and I go out, I can still turn heads. Its not that I look oh so much better when I go out, but attitude is everything, and when I'm out I'm out going, I can carry an intelligent conversation, and I'm genuinely interested in people and what they have to say. 
You are quite probably not as plain as you think. So don't worry too much about the exterior, work on what is inside you and you will find that people forget to even look at the wrapper.


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## muumi (Oct 17, 2011)

Two words: Lena Dunham.
She's made the plain girl powerful, because she's harnessed the most powerful thing about herself and any person on this earth, and it's not looks...
She says she's happy not to be the best looking person in any given room, because it gives her the confidence to know that the people who are attracted to her, are genuinely so because of who she is. Beautiful people can never truly know. And besides, looks fade. Never feel sorry for yourself for something this unimportant!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BarrelRacer23 (Aug 17, 2011)

Beauty comes from inside you, as cheesy as that sounds. You don't want to attract someone with your looks, you want someone who is attracted to who you are and your personality.

There have been many times I wished I looked plain because I get called pretty/beautiful a lot. I attract men who only look at me from the outside, the wrong kind of men. But I'm also very shy. 
Be confident in yourself, everyone likes confidence. No confidence doesn't attract the right kind of man either. Just remember looks are only on the outside.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## womack29 (Oct 30, 2011)

I am 40 and yes pretty plain. I have a Barbie doll type sister and forwny years I felt ugly. I finally learned I am beautiful and not as my hubby says high maitenance. I accept who I am and once I did my confidence went thru the roof. We are all different and there is nothing wrong with that
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## beverleyy (Oct 26, 2011)

Looks won't attract the right guy, or the right friends. As long as you are beautiful on the inside, you'll be beautiful on the outside too, and the right people will see that. Everybody is beautiful in their own ways, regardless of looks.

I'm pasty white with red hair, and huge glasses that I had to pay extra just so they wouldn't be "coke bottle" lenses. I'm strangely tiny as an adult in my mid-twenties, people often ask if I am 12 (I didn't grow past 12, I can thank Crohn's for that unfortunately). I was the "weird" kid in high school. I had pretty close to zero friends, and any friends I had were through my boyfriend or boarders at my barn. My boyfriend is somehow the typical "hot jock" ...I have no idea why he'd want a woman with my looks ...but my looks are not what attracted him to me. He's with me because he loves my personality and the fact that I ride horses and grew up a farm girl. Those things make me attractive on the outside to him (and he's got a strange thing redheads, lol). 

Your friends will like you for you. Any friend who hangs around you because of how you do or don't look isn't the right person to be friends with. Same goes for any guy. A GOOD guy won't pick his girlfriend/wife because she has the biggest breasts or butt, or because she has a tan, or bleach blonde hair, or whatever it may be.


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## Bagheera (Apr 23, 2013)

The most attractive features a woman can have is her confidence and a great sense of self worth. Others are draw to confident people. It doesn't matter how you think others perceive you. If you take pride in who you are, it will make a world of difference in not only how others see you, but how you see yourself.


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## upnover (Jan 17, 2008)

starsnosigns said:


> Whatever...I don't care that much anymore.



I'm pretty sure you DO care otherwise you wouldn't have posted about it. Don't shut off your feelings and pretend like you don't care. Acknowledge them and do something about it. It's ok to want to be attractive and want to be liked, it's human to want those things. Just make sure that you are focusing on the right things that make you attractive. I so wish I could go back to my teenage self and smack myself around a little. I mean, I'd also tweeze my eyebrows and teach myself a little more about make up :lol: but confidence is EVERYTHING. In high school there was this girl who was SO popular, every guy wanted to date her, every girl wanted to be her. You know what? She really wasn't that pretty! But she walked into a room like she owned it, she was funny, she was smart, and all of a sudden you forgot she didn't look like a model. And don't worry that you've never had a boyfriend yet. The number of boyfriends you've had doesn't measure your self worth. I'd much rather have had one amazing boyfriend then to have settled for several mediocre ones.


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## starsnosigns (Sep 29, 2013)

I still know I'm not pretty. I have horrible uncurable skin, I'm chubby, and I'm short, I have boring colouring (brown hair brown eyes) and I'm not very intelilgent or a very good person. ?I don't even like children. oh well  I'm tired of trying so hard.


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## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

I don't like children.

I was over weight.

I changed it for me. 

Not for anyone else.

If you are unhappy in your own skin, do something about it but do it for the right reasons.

No one has skin that can't be cured, but stress and hormones WILL make it worse.


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## Sony (May 10, 2014)

I can't stand kids. I'm in my 30's and will never have any.

I have brown hair and brown eyes.

I'm not intelligent (dang I wish I was! [email protected]@@ is what I really am!)

I was an UGLY child. No, really. Seriously. Might be part of the reason why I don't like kids. They're mean to ugly kids! 

I have a big nose and a small chin and a long neck and ears that are put on funny, I'm still awkward and clumsy. Very unattractive.

But my husband (must have gotten used to my looks because he) tells me I'm beautiful. 

I'm trying to make myself uninterested in what others think of me. It won't affect me if someone thinks I'm pretty or ugly. It's really none of my business what people think of me. I have to be comfortable in my own skin and live my life to make myself and the people I care about happy. That's what matters.

And yes, stress and self-loathing will make health problems worse, might even create a few.


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## Cordillera Cowboy (Jun 6, 2014)

Bagheera said:


> The most attractive features a woman can have is her confidence and a great sense of self worth. Others are draw to confident people. It doesn't matter how you think others perceive you. If you take pride in who you are, it will make a world of difference in not only how others see you, but how you see yourself.


 Bagheera has pretty well summed up the situation. I'll add a bit of practical stuff to it. Stand up straight. Dress neatly. And most importantly, act like you know what you're doing, even if you don't really. That last one will require you to work in order to put some substance to it as you go along. 

I hope ya'll will pardon a male intrusion into this conversation. The original post has been bugging me since I first read it. It seems that nearly every woman I know well enough to converse with thinks she is too fat, or not pretty, or not pretty enough. I don't know what gets into your heads. I suspect that it's Madison Avenue, and/or the pressure to find romance and "catch a husband"

My take on it may be insensitive or crude, and I'm not aiming at the OP specifically, but the situation in general. I'm an old Army sergeant and l don't know better than to just spit it out. Get over yourself and just BE YOURSELF. 

And more anecdotal stuff from a male perspective... As a youngster, I was first attracted only to the "pretty" girls. I found that many of them were only shells, trained from birth to feign interest in whatever a guy was talking about. I learned to gravitate to interesting people. Artists, musicians, and... wait for it.... HORSE PEOPLE! You're not plain, dull, and uninteresting. Learn to be yourself.


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## starsnosigns (Sep 29, 2013)

Cordillera Cowboy said:


> Bagheera has pretty well summed up the situation. I'll add a bit of practical stuff to it. Stand up straight. Dress neatly. And most importantly, act like you know what you're doing, even if you don't really. That last one will require you to work in order to put some substance to it as you go along.
> 
> I hope ya'll will pardon a male intrusion into this conversation. The original post has been bugging me since I first read it. It seems that nearly every woman I know well enough to converse with thinks she is too fat, or not pretty, or not pretty enough. I don't know what gets into your heads. I suspect that it's Madison Avenue, and/or the pressure to find romance and "catch a husband"
> 
> ...


I think I'm just tired of my life. I can't find work or anything. I've been ill for quite a while now. My family isn't as rich as it used to be. Plus I'm not completely white (anglosaxon I mean, I am white otherwise)...so yeah. I see a lot of blue eyed blondes everywhere and get sad.


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## squirrelfood (Mar 29, 2014)

Blue eyed blonds are nothing special, so what's your deal with that? I live on $800 a month social security and take meds that cost $500 a month. Those meds are what keeps me breathing. I had to fight to get help to manage that. And you think you have problems? I repeat, get some counseling. You need the help

PS; my sister is a blue eyed blond. She's also an idiot.


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## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

squirrelfood said:


> PS; my sister is a blue eyed blond. She's also an idiot.


For some reason, I just found this hysterical. And I'm a blue-eyed blond. 

I'm following for the moment so I can read through the thread, but then I will come back with something more productive.


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## Corazon Lock (Dec 26, 2011)

I see that I posted before, but I'll add some more on here.

First of all, brown hair and eyes is not boring! I have a friend who has the most beautiful Tootsie Roll brown eyes and full brown hair! 

Secondly, you are tired of trying. So stop trying to be pretty and wishing you were someone else and just accept yourself as who you are. Once you do that, you'll at least find inner peace. I used to nitpick over my looks. Squinty eyes...puffy lips...too big of boobs...weird feet....yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, I'm just like "whatever" and go with it. I don't think I'm ugly (though I do have my days lol, who doesn't?!), but I don't think I'm the most beautiful girl on the block either. I'm just me, and if you don't like it, get over it. 

It sounds like you might need some counseling. You sound depressed. Also, I think you should probably get on top of your illness. 

I'm going to self-disclose here now, just to show, as others have, that everyone has their own unique set of problems:

-I have depression and anxiety. Sometimes it rules my life still.

-I flunked my entire year of college last year because I skipped classes and didn't feel up to doing homework and just wanted to stay in bed. 

-I don't know where I want to go to college after this.

-I'm terrified of moving out of the home. But I know I have to this fall.

-I no longer have friends my age. But I am blessed with many older friends that are worth their age (and weight? lol) in gold. 

-Sometimes, I get really upset because I feel like my family doesn't have time for me and cares more about my 13 year old brother than me. I have serious issues with it and then guilt myself crazy for being upset about it because I'm almost 21 and should be independent enough to get over by now. It still hurts.

-I, too, don't like children and am tired of listening to people discuss only their kids or their pregnancy. Like, get a life! 

-My family was never rich. They're just average. I have more money than most people my age, but I'm always afraid I'm going broke so I put in a lot of hours at my job.

And, yaddah yaddah. Thing is, beauty really isn't that important at all. Your personality will either make you uglier or more beautiful. Your outside is just a canvas waiting for a masterpiece or a disaster. 

Instead of finding your flaws, find something you like about yourself and focus on it, whether it be a personality thing or a beauty thing. Challenge yourself to do better and face your fears. I finally told an ex-friend of mine that I was tired of her crap and called her out on it. I lost my friend, but I didn't care because I was so proud of myself for setting boundaries and standing up for myself.

Oh, and who encouraged me to do that? Horse Forum people.  You will feel AWESOME for defying your fears. 

All in all, focus on happiness and caring for the people around you and making a change and standing up for the good and protesting the bad. It makes everything else, including body flaws, seem minute. Because guess what?

I don't really care that I've got some pudge on my tummy now, or that my boobs are bigger than I'd like, or that my eyes are squinty...none of that is going to make my life worthwhile or leave my marks in this world.


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## Cordillera Cowboy (Jun 6, 2014)

starsnosigns said:


> I think I'm just tired of my life. I can't find work or anything. I've been ill for quite a while now. My family isn't as rich as it used to be. Plus I'm not completely white (anglosaxon I mean, I am white otherwise)...so yeah. I see a lot of blue eyed blondes everywhere and get sad.


I'll take on the "not completely white" thing first. I'm in a biracial marriage. You'll get no sympathy from me on that count. The blonde haired, blue eyed folks have to be who they are. You have to be who YOU are. I despise a racist with a visceral hatred. And I have little patience with non-white folks who use race as an excuse for a lack of success. I say again, learn to be yourself. You'll be amazed at how things gradually fall into place once you figure that out. 

Only a few people these days are as rich as they were just a few years ago. We make adjustments and move on. To find work, you have to keep plugging away at it. You'll likely have to take on jobs you don't like. I was out of work for months, and under employed at a patchwork of part time, temporary, and seasonal jobs for years. 

All this is telling me that this is deeper than a dissatisfaction with your looks. Other folks have suggested that you get counseling. I'll add my voice to theirs. This is not something you can beat alone. Know that folks here are pulling for you, but it's you that has to take the action.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Oddly, men don't seem to complain about their looks much even though there are plenty that are lacking in the looks department. Just think, they can't use make up, either. Just saying.


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## aubie (Aug 24, 2013)

I am late to this and there have been tons of great replies, will add a couple of my own. Guys have been mentioned. As one I can tell you most guys find beauty in all kinds of women. you always hear ' if I was a gambling man....' well I am and I would bet your not giving yourself enough credit.


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## BKLD (Aug 11, 2013)

I have big ears, a big nose, horrible skin, a stocky build even before I gained weight, I'm bipolar, and the worst thing is my low self-esteem and self confidence, because it makes me see things that I don't like about me, and not the good. I think that's your biggest problem too. Everyone has things about themselves that they don't like, but there is always something good. I have pretty eyes and long eyelashes. I have beautiful soft brown hair when I take care of it. I have a personality that people like once they get to know me. I'm intelligent. 

Everyone has their faults. We're all human. But, the beauty of being human is that we can also strive to change. I'm with you, I struggle to change my skin and weight, and my way of thinking to accept and love the things I can't change. But, I promise you, it's possible.


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## ErinaStars (Sep 19, 2013)

starsnosigns said:


> Is anyone else here really plain? There is really nothing beautiful about me...I've never had a boyfriend or anything like that. It's pretty sad...I've never had a man interested in me at all...apparently my grandmother as beautiful when she was young but I never was. I don't know why...I wasn't even a cute kid. Not at all...I was plain as a child, too...I remember I had pure white skin at some point...but it was looking really pale and clammy mostly...not genuinly ivory. Whatever...I don't care that much anymore.


I didn't read all the responses but I wanted to tell you....I really do not care what a person looks like, if they are gorgeous or ugly, people are just people. I love them just the same(why should it be any different?)! I don't just hang out with the "pretty girl's group" that develop cliques (because I've noticed that is what they like to do, all the pretty girls hang out together because they are all "the same", and that rubs me the wrong way, that is not fare to those who don't look pretty or whatever it is, that is not following Christ example at all, he would never do that!) Its whats on the inside that matters, I don't think I can stress that enough!

If y'all had told me I was pretty or ugly in a picture I really would have been ok with both 'cause I don't find my identity in the way I look, but in Christ, my Lord and Savior!

~Ivy~

P.S. I'm not saying that you should neglect yourself ether just because its the inside that actually really counts. Looks are fine, its just not _THAT_ important....


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

I know this sounds silly, but I honestly believe that half of people's "perceived" unwanted beauty traits are derived from the fact they can't see themselves in 3d. Everyone has something they do not like about themselves, and sometimes people will obsess on one _little _thing. But, imagine if they could see themselves in 3d and in "real size"! 

Than there is just plain old "environment". Growing up my brothers tried to convince me that "tall" was more valuable than "short" - and of course they were "tall" and I was "short". Brothers are just mean little ******s. I never could understand that value system, especially since a stool or pillow could "adjust" for "short". However, if I had wholly "bought" into their ridiculous "value system", it would have adversely impacted my self image. Then, DD came along and at age 2 she was obsessed with "height", and worried she would grow up to be "short". I thought, omg!! Its genetic!!!  I never have figured out where she got that "idea" which stuck with her through grade school. But to her, it was a "real" concern. To anyone else, it seemed "cute" funny and hard to understand.


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## BKLD (Aug 11, 2013)

Missy May said:


> I know this sounds silly, but I honestly believe that half of people's "perceived" unwanted beauty traits are derived from the fact they can't see themselves in 3d. Everyone has something they do not like about themselves, and sometimes people will obsess on one _little _thing. But, imagine if they could see themselves in 3d and in "real size"!
> 
> Than there is just plain old "environment". Growing up my brothers tried to convince me that "tall" was more valuable than "short" - and of course they were "tall" and I was "short". Brothers are just mean little ******s. I never could understand that value system, especially since a stool or pillow could "adjust" for "short". However, if I had wholly "bought" into their ridiculous "value system", it would have adversely impacted my self image. Then, DD came along and at age 2 she was obsessed with "height", and worried she would grow up to be "short". I thought, omg!! Its genetic!!!  I never have figured out where she got that "idea" which stuck with her through grade school. But to her, it was a "real" concern. To anyone else, it seemed "cute" funny and hard to understand.


I think that makes sense. I see my ears and nose as "too big", but to other people they look proportionate.


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## starsnosigns (Sep 29, 2013)

the thing is...anglo saxons have "old money" if you know the term. it means a person who's like...they have more knowledge than other people. more resources. more opporutnities in life. i have nothing :'( i live in a cramped apartment with my mother alone...


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## beverleyy (Oct 26, 2011)

starsnosigns said:


> the thing is...anglo saxons have "old money" if you know the term. it means a person who's like...they have more knowledge than other people. more resources. more opporutnities in life. i have nothing :'( i live in a cramped apartment with my mother alone...


Do you feel like people look down on you for that? If they do, they aren't very good people. Where you live, where you come from, should not matter (unfortunatly to some, it does, but those are NOT people you need in your life and they won't go very far with that mindset either.) As you get older (and as they get older) those things will matter less and less. 

My boyfriend is Native American/African American. He grew up on the reserve - his reserve is not blessed to have the luxuries that most homes/sub-divisions have. He grew up with very little, and his family still has very little. But they make the most of this. This doesn't determine if they are good people or not. My boyfriend's family is VERY caring and loving, they look out for one another and are "no judgement" type - to me that is the ideal type of person. They don't get things handed to them. They are not blessed with a refridgerator or oven that works well - they have those things, but they are very very poor quality. The house has little heat source and little insulation. But they make it work. My boyfriend works hard. He keeps a garden out front, keeps the lawn nice, repaints the house as needed, etc etc. We live together now (on the reserve) and are continually dumbfounded at how "rich" some of the other reserves nearby are, we don't have that, but that's okay - we have each other and have learned the value of that. We are very happy in our life together, hoping to be married this year or next, and are beginning to plan the start of our family together. 

Bottom line, it does not matter where you come from, you make the most of that and you will be better off in the end than somebody who got everything handed to them. It will humble you, so to speak. 

You will meet the right friends as you grow up, ones that will not judge for being "plain" or judge you by where you live. Those are the friends to keep.


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## beau159 (Oct 4, 2010)

starsnosigns said:


> the thing is...anglo saxons have "old money" if you know the term. it means a person who's like...they have more knowledge than other people. more resources. more opporutnities in life. i have nothing :'( i live in a cramped apartment with my mother alone...


So? 

I guess I'm not going to join the pity party. Your life is what you make it. 

Yes, there are people who start off in worse situations than others. But just because you have a "low starting point" does not mean that that is where you need to let yourself end up as. 

Yes you might have to work harder than other people to get to where you want to be in life, but that's the thing: Life is not fair. Accept it. Some people get "dealt" better luck than others and there's nothing you can do about it except move forward in your own life. 

Some guy isn't going to swoop in and lavash you with money. That's for Disney fairy tales. You have to take initiative for yourself. It is your responsibility and no one else's. 

I used to feel quite a lot like you. I grew up on a family farm. I didn't get to have any expensive clothes like my friends did. I didn't get to stay in town and have fun, because I had to ride the school bus home and help out on the farm. I had bad acne growing up and couldn't even convince my parents to let me see a dermatologist until I was a junior or senior in high school. Money was tight and we didn't have a lot of extras. I was very shy and quiet and really didn't have many friends, if at all. I hated that I was so plain and didn't have anything fancy and couldn't do the things the other kids got to do. Plus, guys were never interested in me. 

And you know what happened? When I got to college, I *finally stopped caring* what other people thought of me. I did what I wanted to do and did what made ME happy. I became my own person. And I was finally happy with who I was. 

And that's the point when opportunities started presenting. When I become *self-confident *with myself and was happy with myself, because I didn't care what anything else thought. That's also when guys started showing an interest. Honestly, they like someone who is self confident and knows what they want. That's what is attractive; not superficial looks. 

We could coddle you and play a violin for you because (as you have said)
1) you're plain
2) you don't have a boyfriend
3) you have "white" pale skin
4) you're chubby
5) you're short
6) you have brown hair ("boring")
7) you can't find work
8) you're ill
9) you live with your mother

And every other NEGATIVE thing you could think about yourself. If you keep thinking negative, that's where your mind is going to stay. People don't advance in the world because they think negative. 

1) Kristen Steward is plain (I think), and she's one of the most popular and famous actresses right now. Plain does not define you. And on the flipside, I have a couple friends who are very well-endowed. And they hate it. They get so many superficial guys who are only looking at that. I have one friend who is seriously considering doing a breast reduction because she does NOT like the attention she gets from it. Sometimes, plain can be a blessing. Plain is classic and timeless. Embrace it!

2) "You don't have a boyfriend." can be a wonderful thing! You're single! You can choose any career path you want, because you aren't tied down to a location. You don't have to consult with a significant other with you make decisions. Embrace being single! It's wonderful freedom! The more and more you worry about having a boyfriend, the more desparate you will become, and that is a vibe that is going to repel guys. Be happy with being single. 

I found my husband when I had finally become happy with being single and was content to stay that way. And that's when I became "attractive" because I wasn't looking for it. I told the exact same thing to my cousin who was getting desparate he wasn't finding a girl. He was finally okay with being single and that's when he met his wife. You have to be happy with being alone, because you can expect to share your life. 

3) Skin color? Really? In this day and age, skin color has nothing to do with it. And I dislike people who dwell on skin color because that's one of the reasons why racism still exists. Honestly, I think they should do away with racial classification, black white hispanic asian etc. Why should that matter? We are all PEOPLE. How's that for a classification? Who the heck cares what color your skin is. I sure don't. 

4) If you are unhappy about your weight, then go about losing it some of it.

5) Well there's not much you can do about being short. But what does that have to do with anything? Kate Moss and Devon Aodi are two examples of short people that still made their career dreams come true. They are models. Usually, a model is going to need to be at least 5'9" or taller to make it in the very tough and critical industry. Kate Moss is only around 5'7" and Devon Aoki is only around 5'5"or shorter. How much do you think they got told "you can't be a model, you are too short"? How much _negative_ comments do you think they got, especially with modeling being such a cut-throat blunt industry? They didn't let being "short" get in the way of their dreams. They made it their own and went for it. Embrace being short, get some self-confidence, and you'll feel "taller" to everyone else. 

6) You have boring brown hair? Well guess what. I have blue eyes and I used to have blonde hair...... and now I have brown hair. I like my brown hair much, much better because it doesn't wash out my skin complexion and actually looks better on me than blonde hair. Not everyone desires blue eyes and blonde hair. But if you don't like your brown hair and brown eyes, either EMBRACE it or do something about it. See and eye doctor and get colored contacts to change your eye color, and make a hair appointment to get your hair dyed to the color you want. But you either need to accept it, or do something about it. Do what will make you happy. 

On the flip side, and I may be biased, but I think my husband has the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen. 

7) Depending on your area, it sure can be a tough job market right now. But here's my take on it. You are awful negative in your posts here. And even though you may present a positive image when you go for a job interview, your inner feelings always shine through. So if you are a very negative person inside, that prospective boss is going to feel that vibe in the interview. hey don't want a negative employee. You need to find a way to make yourself HAPPY with who you are. When you find that inner confidence, that is also going to help with the job search. If you are positive and happy on the inside, that will shine through.

8) I have a sneaking suspicision that your negativity is hurting your health. I won't ask you to go into detail about your "illness" because it's none of my business, but ultimately you choose how you will act and feel with your illness. I have an employee who has had bladder cancer, breast cancer, repeated kidney stones with surgeries, rhematoid arthritis, and possibly scleroderma. She has one son she has already had to bury. Her husband almost died 2 years ago from an extreme internal infection. And as we speak, she is sitting in the ER with her son who has cerebral palsy and has just lost all control of his lower body. This poor woman has been hit with more health problems for her and her family than is fair. But every day, she shows up to work with a smile on her face. And each of my patients she works with, even if they were grumpy when they came in, they have a smile on their face by the time they see me. She is a hugely positive person, despite all of the things that have happened to her. Because she CHOOSES to be a positive person.

I also have a brother who almost committed suicide because of his depression. If that is more the illness you are dealing with, I strongly encourage you to seek counseling. I was going to advise you to seek counseling anyway, so that you have someone to vent all these negative frustrations too. And then they can help you have a more positive outlook on life. 

9) Why it is a bad thing you live with you mother? I am sure she enjoys having her own daughter around and enjoys the company. Not to mention, in this day and age, it_ financially _makes sense to split living expenses with a roommate or another family member. If you let it bother you that you live with your mother, then it will come across as negative to other people. But if you EMBRACE that you live with your mother and all the positive things you gain from it, no one will think anything of it. 

My husband lived with his dad up until about a year before we got married. And I really didn't care about his living situation. So what?



You need to become happy with yourself before you can expect to gain success anywhere else (career, boyfriend, etc) and lose the negative way of thinking. And no one is going to do it for you. It is up to you to make the change and live your life. 

Complaining about it won't get you anywhere.


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## Cordillera Cowboy (Jun 6, 2014)

I've got nothing more to add that I haven't said in this thread a year ago. You're recycling the same excuses. This cannot be fixed over the internet. We can give you reassurances, but YOU need to seek professional counseling and address these things. YOU are the one who has to take the action to make things better. Look for counseling. Find counseling. Avail yourself of counseling when you find it. YOU have to find the counsel. YOU have to listen to the counsel. YOU have to act on the advice of the counselor. 

Please do continue to check in with us. We can't fix your problems, but we can provide moral support. You wouldn't be posting here if you didn't WANT some help. We'll do what we can, but you have to hold up your end.


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

As a plus-size woman who has been both plus size for the better part of my life, and around the block more than once with relationships, let me tell you that looks are DEFINITELY not everything, and looking attractive in the conventional sense is not exactly the key to a better life. 

No matter what you look like, no matter if you’re hairy, tall, short, thin, fat, black, white, transgendered, an amputee, don’t believe in deodorant or shaving, like to dress up in a chicken suit and dance the flamenco in your bedroom, WHATEVER – you can find someone who loves you just the way you are (though showering daily does help on that score! ;-P). Male attention is NOT the end-all barometer of your worth in this world, and it never should be. 

We all have good days and bad days, men and women alike, where we all feel ugly and unlovable. My SO is in his 40’s and I am his first serious relationship after he was married for 10 years, and when we first met online, he was terrified to tell me he was shorter- he’s two inches shorter than me and aside from feeling a bit weird when we first went out because I was used to dating taller men, it’s never been an issue- he’s one of the BEST people I have ever met in my entire life, and I thank God every day that I didn’t pass him up. Men worry about their looks and their worth to women, and they feel vulnerable and unattractive some days too. Men are told to hide their insecurities while we ladies get encouraged to use them for social means (ever had any of your lady friends cry about being fat and ugly and you all swoop in to tell her she’s not, then everything is OK again?). I’ve met so many men who didn’t think they were worth anyone’s time because they had a belly, were hairy, were short, or didn’t have big muscles or whatever. 

What drives people away? Negativity (including being down on yourself). Lack of interests or hobbies. Lack of social graces. Meanness and aggressiveness. Not being a good friend. 

What brings people in? A good attitude, a positive outlook. Similar interests, things that help people connect to you. Good manners, being gracious, being helpful. Being kind, loving, and supportive to those people you consider friends, and just a kind person in general. 

It seems it’s not your looks that have people uninterested, it’s your attitude and your self-worth. The only people who are interested in someone who thinks little of themselves are those people who look at someone who thinks they suck, and thinks “Good, that’s right where I want them!” – AKA, predatory people. The kind you don’t want in your life. 



And honey, if you think white folks all have money, I invite you to visit your nearest trailer park.


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## ForeverSunRider (Jun 27, 2013)

I am the ABSOLUTE definition of average. :lol:

There's nothing wrong with it. Horses don't care what you look like 

You don't want a guy to like you for your looks, anyway. Those go away. You have to catch him with your personality and then he's trapped forever! 

Muahahahaha!


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## Purplelady (Dec 6, 2014)

Hello . Hope your feeling a lot better about your self now . Men are not every thing there is some one for every one out there you just have to wait and if it happens then good if not then GOOD to as there is no ties enjoy your self with your friends and your family plus horse he or she should take your mind of things ( do NOT mean to be BAD ) stopping now as just got out of hospital last night and heard my horse was fighting while I was in so need to go . Purplelady


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Reading back on everything the OP'S written, and the fact she felt it necessary to dredge up an old thread to complain about the same things she did initially, tells me that she needs professional counseling. 

Random strangers on the internet are no substitute for a trained professional, and if your life isn't what you want it to be the only one who can change it is you. Excuses for why you can't/won't do something don't hold any weight with me. Either find a way to better yourself, or accept that you have no drive and ambition to make your life worthwhile. 

Life isn't a fairytale, and nobody's going to swoop in and save you from your sad, boring life. You have to do it yourself.


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## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

OP,
you can complain and moan and feel sorry for yourself as much as possible.

IMO, if you feel that bad about it, you'd do something about it.

If you think blondes have more fun, dye your hair. I am a natural blonde, and I am at the butt of more jokes than I'd care for at times.

If you think you're chubby, take the stairs over the esculator. Fitness doesn't come naturally, you have to work at it.

If you're in a cramped apartment with your mother, make opportunities for yourself and get a job, save, and get out.

"If there is a will, there is a way"

The only person stopping yourself is you.


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## BKLD (Aug 11, 2013)

I can't even remember if I posted on this thread before, but really, it doesn't matter.

I've had very low self-esteem since I was a child. I'm 21 now. Finally, I just got sick of it. I finally accepted that just because I'm not a certain way, that does not make me any less of a person. I accepted that I'm not perfect, but nobody is. I accepted that there are things about me that I wanted to (and actually could) change, and I made a plan (and stuck to it) to ensure that those changes were made. 

It wasn't a turn-on-a-dime sort of thing. It had been building for a while, and took some pushing and prodding from therapists, family, and friends. But, I got there. 

If there are things that you want to change, step up and make those changes. Otherwise, accept that you are who you are, and that is a beautiful thing.


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