# The "Black Stallion" Syndrome - Vent



## BlueSpark (Feb 22, 2012)

The magical "bond".

Urg! I've gotten so frustrated with this lately. It is especially common in begginers, and particularly young beginners, but I've seen riders of all experience levels and ages suffering from this.

I think its probably the culprit with many people when they buy a horse and two months later their frustrated they havent formed a magical bond and galloped off into the sunset together, bareback and bridleless.

Horses are hard work. Just like human relationships. As has been proven by the multitude of people who have been swept away by their hansom prince(or charmed by the princess), then they have a fairy tale wedding and come crashing down to earth with the realization that you don't magically live happily ever after.

I have seen so many people that humanize the horse, rather than giving it the respect it deserves as its own species. How many times do you hear "Pricess came running up to the fence and knickered at me because we have that special bond, she loves me!" It doesn't have anything to do with that treat in your pocket, does it?
or how bout, "I had to sell him, we just didn't bond"
or "Bronco bucked me off because I didn't bring him his treat saturday, I hurt his feelings"

Sigh. Sorry for the novel, I'm just tired of seeing people hurt and horses ruined because they cant separate reality from fiction, and human emotion from horse.


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## EmilyJoy (Dec 30, 2011)

No kidding, a person also cannot just jump on a horse and ride like "John Wayne" without having the know-how...A horse does not act like a four-wheeler!


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## Failbhe (May 8, 2012)

I know this probably isn't what you meant, but sometimes it is a good thing for someone to sell a horse because they didn't bond - so long as we're talking about realistic personality/energy level/etc issues and this isn't a person that's going to go through horse after horse and sell them all eventually because none of them "bonded."


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## Snizard93 (Oct 12, 2011)

Hey, it's nice to dream :wink:

I get where you are coming from though. They do deserve respect, and that's how you earn theirs. It is sad to see people humanizing them.


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## BlueSpark (Feb 22, 2012)

> I know this probably isn't what you meant, but sometimes it is a good thing for someone to sell a horse because they didn't bond - so long as we're talking about realistic personality/energy level/etc issues and this isn't a person that's going to go through horse after horse and sell them all eventually because none of them "bonded."


I'm not talking about the horse and rider truly not working together, some personalities dont match, some horses and riders are not suited to each other. 
I'm talking about people who expect to magically develop some sort of "bond" with a horse, without putting in the time and effort it takes to build a true partnership(equine equivalent of love at first sight). when this perfect relationship doesnt miraculously appear, the owner decides they didn't "bond", and moves on to another horse.


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## Elizabeth Bowers (Jan 26, 2012)

Blue Spark!!! I love you right now!!! I keep getting into the same annoying situations with my father in law!!! He lives in this fantasy world where he thinks i'm going to break his half crazy, food aggressive, cow chasing for fun, unbroken, barely handled Quarter pony type mare. And he's going to show her and all that jazz, meanwhile i've been dumped by her 3 times!!! But he still expects me (i'm the horse person right  ) to break her for him. Oh yeah and he wants to put his step daughter whom is mentally and physically disables on her back, along with his 3yo son!!!! Then he plans on breeding her so his step daughter can have a horse too!!! GAH!!! this fantasy world is driving me crazy!!! But in no way does he ever go out and take care of this horse either!!! He doesn't acknowledge her unless he sees me working with mine!!! 
Yes i agree, its a good thing for some real riders to sell horses they don't click with, it could end badly for both. But in this fantasy world where your just going to jump up on their back and just ride off....ok good luck with that, and selling a horse just because it didn't do what you wanted/expected, is a whole different story. Its sad....
I"m good now LOL


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## Failbhe (May 8, 2012)

BlueSpark said:


> I'm not talking about the horse and rider truly not working together, some personalities dont match, some horses and riders are not suited to each other.
> I'm talking about people who expect to magically develop some sort of "bond" with a horse, without putting in the time and effort it takes to build a true partnership(equine equivalent of love at first sight). when this perfect relationship doesnt miraculously appear, the owner decides they didn't "bond", and moves on to another horse.


I figured that's what you meant, and I definitely agree with you - I just wanted to clarify in case some people got their tails tied in a knot about selling a horse because of personality differences. There's no shame in moving on if the two of you just don't work well together, so long as you're realistic about your expectations.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Agreed, BS.

I've had 6 horses and ridden countless others over the years, and if I was waiting for some kind of super majickal, Vulcan mind-meld bond, I'd have never had the pleasure of enjoying the animals for the individuals they were and are.

I had ONE with whom I had a tighter bond than the others, but that doesn't mean I believe the others weren't 'right' for me. As long as the animal does its best for you and doesn't actively despise you, there's no reason to sell it on hoping for that 'perfect' horse.

If someone does that, maybe they need to buy one of those animatronic Butterscotch horses and leave the real ones for people who live in reality.


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## riccil0ve (Mar 28, 2009)

What are you talking about? Ricci and I have a majikal bond! You're just jealous! =P

But seriously. It is ridiculous. One of my biggest peeves is when people have that, "no one will be able to work with this horse like I can," or "my horse won't work well for anyone but me." I believe in one-person horses _to an extent, _but for the most part, I think people are just fooling themselves.

You can't "love" your horse into the Olympics or Grand Prix.


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## Cruiser (Aug 28, 2011)

I've met a lot of women in their 40's that get their first horse and expect this. Also see it a lot in dogs, used to train them, one lady didn't want to in force rules because they were her "kids" (she has two young daughters), I got annoyed (after months of trying to explain and said so you let you kids poop on the floor, chew on the couch and lick the counter too? She was shocked to say the least.


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## Casey02 (Sep 20, 2011)

Ahhhhh people are always like my horse follows me around, he loves me so much!!! Its like my horse follows me when I pick up poop in the pen, outside when I have already fed everybody. In the barn, when I have him saddled and bridled. I can even say woah when im in the barn not facing him and he will stop square in his tracks, then give a smooch and he will be on my butt again. He will follow me up the barn steps and through a human sized doors. After I feed everyone he will come up to the gait and just stand there until I leave. He follows me EVERYWHERE... MY POINT IS... its not magical. I think its funny when people are so proud their horse follows them to the food, and you never hear the end, but my horse follows me everywhere and I don't ever tell anybody because its not that wonderful LOL. 

Ill have people come out and my horse follows them around too and they are so simply amazed...sometimes I think if only I can get him away hahaha


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

I think every horse person would like to kick Walter Farley and Margaret Henry for leading non-horse people to believe that there's some magical bond that you have to have with your horse.

I think the ones that bother me more are the ones who won't control/reprimand their animals (horse or otherwise) because they "might hurt them." My sister has a monster for a Chihuahua because of this mind set. A lady at my old barn was livid with me because I smacked Aires' butt when he tried to kick me. She even went so far as to try to spread a rumor that I abuse my horse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Casey, horses follow people because they're naturally curious and it gives them something to do that's not part of their routine day.

Mine like to hang around when I'm doing stalls, spreading manure, or fixing fence. I tell them, 'Unless you suddenly grow opposable thumbs and start helping me, y'all need to stay out of my way!'


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## BBBCrone (Jan 28, 2012)

I agree with this 100%. I'm even beginning to hate the word "bond". When I use that word I am not talking about some "Vulcan mind-mild" to quote Speed Racer. (Funny stuff btw lol). I'm referring to that point where you are working well together with your horse. I'm about to the point where I want to take the word "bond" out of my vocabulary and come up with something different.


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## Casey02 (Sep 20, 2011)

> I think the ones that bother me more are the ones who won't control/reprimand their animals (horse or otherwise) because they "might hurt them." My sister has a monster for a Chihuahua because of this mind set. A lady at my old barn was livid with me because I smacked Aires' butt when he tried to kick me. She even went so far as to try to spread a rumor that I abuse my horse.


This. Drives. Me. Insane. When people don't discipline their animals. But then ask why mine are so wonderful and listen to me..

Or my favorites is that I have a lady at the barn and she thinks she knows everything, she doesn't ever do anything about her horses behavior.... Guess whos horse is in training right now because the horse misbehaves so badly... and has gotten that badly out of hand.

When all it would take is some come to Jesus meetings


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## Casey02 (Sep 20, 2011)

Speed racer, that's what im trying to get across to people, that its not magical and a lot of peoples horses do that (not because they have this bond) 
They are like cows when you ride by on a horse:











hahahaha


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

It isn't just that people will dump a horse if they don't get a magical bond. Too many believe that 'bonding' is the way to control a horse - and I find that scary.

On a recent thread about bitless riding, I was told:

"_if you have a good relationship with your horse it shouldn't matter whether you ride with or without a bite......just my opinion..._"

"_I think it doesn't matter what you ride in , in the end its about "does your horse trust you" and if he does than you have the world_"​ 
I tried pointing out that my mare & I get along quite well for two different species. If she is hurt or scared and sees me, she will come to me to make the bad thing go away. We've had 4+ years together, including quite a few challenges. It isn't a mystical bond, but I am certain I'm her favorite human. But that doesn't mean squat if we start cantering down an ATV path and she gets excited. I can't do some Vulcan mind-meld via my butt and take control of her.

The effectiveness of a bit or the various bitless tack as means of communication can be debated, and that debate doesn't matter for this thread. But when I saw a Parelli YouTube video the other day and he asked the audience something along the lines of "_How many of you want a great relationship with your horse? How many want to be able to get your horse to obey because he wants to_", I turned it off.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a willing partner. I think most of us want to get our horses there, if they aren't already. But if you want to stay safe, you need a horse that will obey even if they don't want to. My horse doesn't understand what would happen to her if she was hit by a car doing 60 mph, nor does she know in advance where the roads are where that could happen. If she gets excited enough about something, I'm not sure she thinks at all. The bond I need is that I provide the mind, and she provides the muscle. Then we are both doing what we do best.

I do agree they have various personalities, and they need to mesh. If your horse doesn't match your needs - too hot-blooded, or too lazy, or he just doesn't like you (and my Appy gelding tolerates me, but nothing more after 4 years), then selling might be the right option for both. Note: the females in my house adore my Appy gelding, and he thinks they are great, so he stays. None of the females in my house have ANY desire to ride my mare, but she stays by MY vote.

But someone who seeks to own the Black Stallion will probably end up like the woman who seeks the perfect husband, or the man who seeks the perfect wife - lonely! :twisted:


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

I'll be the first to admit that I used to think that way. I've since grown a brain and figured out that if I don't make this 1000lbs animal respect me, I'll be in deep trouble. Unfortunately for some people, it takes them getting hurt for them to realize that they created this monster...and even then they don't always get it.

The first time I reprimanded Aires in front of my old BO, he actually applauded me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BlueSpark (Feb 22, 2012)

> I can't do some Vulcan mind-meld via my butt and take control of her.


This trick could be very handy, let me know if you ever figure it out. Might require a lesson from Spock...:lol:


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## Nightside (Nov 11, 2012)

One of my best horses I got at about 14 , someone dumped him in the farriers pasture and nobody could catch him. So if I could catch him, I could have him. 3 hours later I caught him on foot with a lead rope where cowboys with a lasso on horseback had failed. He was fast, agile, and smart, so he made an awesome barrel horse. He had his days where he was wary about being caught but I would sing to him and he'd let me grab him. This totally impressed one of my cowboy friends and I caught him humming to his horses as he fed them. I'd never say oh, we had a special magic bond that no one else can touch. I was just a very determined kid, and that set the tone. I can't say I ever had to smack him since his only bad habit was bolting with inexperienced riders that thought it was cool to kick and muscle him. I just knew his quirks and I wasn't taking no for an answer.

I hate the trend these days where people seem to think that only a humungous horse will do, and I've seen people give up their trusty mounts for a tall horse simply.because it seems to be in style. I can understand that not every horse has the talent to make it to higher levels but I get tired of seeing ads by people who probably dont know one end of a horse to the other insisting above all other things that the horse.must be at least 16 hands
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Failbhe (May 8, 2012)

Nightside said:


> I hate the trend these days where people seem to think that only a humungous horse will do, and I've seen people give up their trusty mounts for a tall horse simply.because it seems to be in style. I can understand that not every horse has the talent to make it to higher levels but I get tired of seeing ads by people who probably dont know one end of a horse to the other insisting above all other things that the horse.must be at least 16 hands
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I know this is off-topic and I don't want to derail the thread - but AMEN! Of course I understand for some disciplines you want a larger horse, but not all! I have to keep giving myself a shake because I'll start feeling self-conscious on my little 14.2 arab cross. But she had a great mind, she's more than capable of hauling my *** around, and any issues are purely esthetic. Selling her because she's 'too short' would be a huge mistake on my part.


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## Tarpan (May 6, 2012)

What aggrivates me is that people see you having fun, out riding or messing with the horse and think it's like a toy. What they don't see is the thousands of hours of manure scooping, pasture cleanup and maintenance, grooming, groundwork, construction of horse-related buildings... someone else said it best, a horse is not a 4-wheeler! 

It aggravates the heck out of me when my horse tries to follow me around while I work, too. Nuts to any "magical bond", I don't want to feel a whiskery nose on my butt when I bend over to pick something up. I pen him up - let him watch from the gate! (he does)


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

Speed Racer said:


> ...Mine like to hang around when I'm doing stalls, spreading manure, or fixing fence. I tell them, 'Unless you suddenly grow opposable thumbs and start helping me, y'all need to stay out of my way!'


A few months ago, I was setting railroad ties into the corral to slow erosion. My mare - the one I cannot control with my 'bond' - came over. She snorted a few times into the trench I was digging, looked at me as if to say 'There is no hay in there'...and then started pawing at the end of the trench with her front hooves. Not very effectively, but she tried very hard and it was very cute.


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## Inga (Sep 11, 2012)

EmilyJoy said:


> No kidding, a person also cannot just jump on a horse and ride like "John Wayne" without having the know-how...A horse does not act like a four-wheeler!


 
My now ex tried that once. He was always making comments about how easy riding a horse was compared to his racing. (he was a pro racer) so one day, he does a flying run and jumps up onto my horse from behind. What followed was him finding out that John Wayne was jumping onto desensitized horses and must have had more "skill" then he thought necessary. 

Thankfully, he was on the ground, over a tall fence before she ran out onto the road. Also, thankfully, she was caught and was fine or he would have died that day regardless of living through the initial flying dismount. 

Horses are horses, not Hollywood fantasies.


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## EmilyJoy (Dec 30, 2011)

:rofl::clap::rofl:


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

When I was in the 7th grade I drew this picture of a black stallion and I pasted it to my wall. I still have the picture, on the back it says... 

_My dream horse is a pure black thoroughbred arabian stallion named Black Fury._

What really cracks me up is that I obviously thought that thoroughbred meant pure-bred! What I find really funny is that Riley's (my horse) dad was a black stallion (QH) named... Fury!

Anyway, I got my first horse Pistol at the age of three, he's almost 29 now. He was a rescue case and when I say that, I mean it. He was several hundred pounds under weight and had been beaten pretty badly. He has a permanent scar on his withers from an ill fitting saddle and one on his face from an abscessed tooth that blew out the front. When I got him, I wouldn't let anyone ride him because I wanted a "one man" horse. I also would not discipline him, for anything, ever. He was abused you know... He was a rearer which I thought was really awesome so I slapped a command to it and reared all the time.....

What I ended up with was an ornery old cuss whom I love dearly and I do truley beleive we have a bond or a connection or something, but it comes from being together for so many years. He knows me, he trusts me, I know him, I trust him... we are a team.


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## rookie (May 14, 2012)

I think there is a balance to be struck. I am not saying that hugs and kisses and butterflies are 100% correct, but some horses need a softer approach to training and work. You can be soft without being a push over. We need to have a line between spoiling and being soft. If you have a great relationship with your horse then fantastic. Its all about perception. I think we have all seen horses that we say "I am so glad I don't have that POS in my barn" and the owner thinks the sun and the moon rise and set on this horse. I have seen horses be really sweet to people who are totally clueless. I think to myself "its like the horse knows they are stupid and is terminally nice and not taking advantage". The owner says "he did X,Y and Z because we have a magical bond and he knows I mean well". I stood at the fence and said "I have no effing clue why he did not kick you 8 ways to sunday for what you just did". The conclusion, I have come to is that there are really great horses out there that allow people to believe they have this bond. The trouble is that there are horses that are nothing short of amazing. People think they are the rule and not the exception to the rule.

I think what I tolerate less is the "black stallion" syndrome and more the spoiled horse. I see a lot of people who get a horse (or dog) as a substitute child. They say "he was abused" thats why he misbehaves. No, he is spoiled and thats why he misbehaves. I hate those words "He was abused". We saved him from X,Y or Z, don't be mean, you will scare him as the horse takes off dragging them behind. Lots of horses, dogs, cats and people come out of horrible situations they manage to be lovely members of society. This is because they learned the rules. You don't have to be mean and abuse your horse but you can set rules. Firm but kind. 

I am perpetually yelling, poking and cursing at my horse as I clean the run in shed. I have explained to him that I DO NOT need his assistance. If he really wants to help me clean the shed he can go poop outside! This is normal but the neighbors think its adorable when he follows me around the pasture. They say you have a good bond. No, I am the only gig in town and something new to attempt to play with.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

The problem is that the techniques in the movie only work on black Arabian stallions. Not QH's or TBs or even Arabians of other colors.

Where's Druydess with her handsome fella when you need her.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

Rookie - I'm with you. Some horses do need a firm hand while others do so much better with treats... It's interesting how they are like children the way the react to certain methods...


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## BlueSpark (Feb 22, 2012)

There is a giant difference between using correct training methods for horses as individuals and " my whittle horsey and I have a spweshal bond(horse proceeds to drag owner through manure pile)"

Dancingarabian, if you ever find a video of someone trying "black stallion" methods on a black Arabian stallion, let me know. Could be amusing to watch 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Elana (Jan 28, 2011)

I got my first horse when I was 13years and 5 months old. When I was 13 years and 5 and a half months old I realized there is No Black Stallion, No My Friend Flicka and Fury was just good TV (and he had High Ring bone to boot). 

There WAS my Cremello gelding who was very good at "pulling" and scaring the daylights out of me at times.. and who was also the best beginner horse I could have ever gotten in the world. 

I had him 20 years and he was the horse that taught me what I needed to go on.. and he was the horse that eventually would do a Levade and who launched my training horses. 

He was the best teacher on earth.. with lesson one being that the Black Stallion was great reading and fiction was not reality.


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## oh vair oh (Mar 27, 2012)

I'm actually quite glad that horses don't form emotional, human variants of a bond.

Few people realize that horses don't take discipline personally. Disciplining a horse does not mean he won't love you anymore. It simply means that the horse has to accept you as the leader. You do it, move on, and then get back to happy times. 

I "love" being respected, and I "love" respecting my horse as a horse. The joy I get from horses is communicating with them. Once you open that branch of communication, then you can see what a "bond" is. A bond is trust, respect, and leadership. 

I love my filly to death. I love her baby breath, I love her curiosity, I love her unique personality. I also love teaching her. She doesn't take it personally when I bop her on the cheek to say "you're too close!" or when I bop her on the nose to say "no mouthiness!". Her mare-mother disciplined her much more aggressively than I physically could, and she never had a problem being around her mom.

But when I am around a horse who respects my space and doesn't try to bite me, who sees me as a leader and looks up to me for instruction, that is the time when I allow myself to feel the "bond". That is the time that I smile and give her hugs and kisses, because I am enjoying the respect my filly gives me. Obviously she only appreciates my attention as knowing "I am being a good filly, so I get pets". Not, "oh, my owner loves me so much. I am such a special pony". 

I hope that makes sense, haha. I think there should be room to love your horse when circumstances are right.


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## ponyboy (Jul 24, 2008)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> I think every horse person would like to kick Walter Farley and Margaret Henry for leading non-horse people to believe that there's some magical bond that you have to have with your horse.


I read all of the Black Stallion books and the "bond" between Alec and the Black wasn't all roses and rainbows. Heck, there was a book in the series called The Black Stallion Revolts. In The Black Stallion's Ghost, Henry told Alec not to let the Black near any mares because it would make him aggressive (I forget what the deal was there – he was a breeding stallion but they didn't want him to breed at that time for some reason).

Then there was Black Minx, the filly who bit and would only run fast if she thought the rider had lost control. A "magical bond" didn't stop Flame from freaking out on the racetrack either. And Bonfire's dam (I forget her name) wouldn't let the other boy (forget his name) near her foal. 

So overall, I don't think the books were that unrealistic.


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## LisaG (Nov 11, 2012)

As my dad used to say to me over and over, when I was a kid:

"The horse can't read your mind."

I still think about that when I'm running into a horse problem. Communication, not magic.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

LisaG said:


> As my dad used to say to me over and over, when I was a kid:
> 
> "The horse can't read your mind."
> 
> I still think about that when I'm running into a horse problem. Communication, not magic.


You're supposed to read the horse's mind!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

What do you mean???? My horse farted glitter today!:lol:


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## existentialpony (Dec 4, 2012)

Elana said:


> I got my first horse when I was 13years and 5 months old. When I was 13 years and 5 and a half months old I realized there is No Black Stallion, No My Friend Flicka and Fury was just good TV (and he had High Ring bone to boot).


But there is still hope for a Mr. Ed...? :lol:


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## Misty'sGirl (Oct 22, 2007)

I got my mare when I was 12 and I was TOTALLY 100% the kid you're all complaining about! Haha. I was convinced we'd have the magical bond and there'd be rainbows and butterflies. In actual fact, she spent most of her time around me with her ears flat back for the first few years because I kept flinging my arms around her in a loving embrace when she just wanted food. 

It took us 7 years to get a "bond" and it wasn't magic, it was HARD work, sweat, tears, pain, blood and numerous hospital trips!!


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## LadyDreamer (Jan 25, 2008)

Bonds are what you make of them. Horses form bonds and attachments too, but humans crave it. Those oh-so-few miracle horses who are just so perfect, and try so hard, and are just so good that it makes you feel like a million dollars just to be with them. They work so well for you, appear to enjoy being with you, you just click and understand each other(communication goes both ways. You both have to be able to communicate and understand what is said.) it makes you feel SOO good. When everything you do is a success, you want more. When, even your mistakes and "arguments" are okay because you understand what happened and why, because the horse was just that good at telling you. Through better communication, it opens the door to building trust and respect through consistent work and practice. Without strong communication and strong trust there can be no "bond". Again, this is a two way street. Both horse and human have to understand and trust one another in their own ways. 

Take my two full brothers. The older colt is very guarded and defensive. He hides everything, doesn't trust, and we really don't understand why his first response is to explode. We cannot figure him out. We don't get him. He doesn't get us. He doesn't want to. There is no "try" in him and there isn't enough of us to make it worth out time to try anymore. The communication is horrible. I have no emotional connection with this horse. I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, and he isn't interested in "talking" or "listening". This horse will never be "bonding" material for me. I take no enjoyment out of being with him. I hope one day he has someone who gets him. 

His full brother tells us everything. He has a VERY strong desire to learn, and to understand and to do. He is very expressive with his ears and eyes and body language, and he is such a snorty boy. His little different snorts tell you so much. He is also very receptive to how we communicate verbally, visually, and physically. He makes such an effort to do the right thing and understand. He is an absolute joy to be around and work with. He reminds me a great deal of his oldest brother, my heart and soul horse who died, that I do not want to but cannot help but love this little guy. I don't want to admit it, but I am quite attached to him, whether or not he is to me. He tries very hard. He is a little horse who I can see forming a very close "bond" with someone because of just how "easy" he is to understand.

Not saying that those horses you bond with are "easy". Just that you understand, or come to understand how to read and communicate very well. I know you. You know me. We are on the same page. Many are actually very difficult horses to work and be around. Without proper communication there will never be a bond. That is VERY hard to learn sometimes. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

But then-there's the new Black Arabian Stallion that just arrived on the thread. For Druyduss-reality-for the rest of us-fantasy.


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## BlueSpark (Feb 22, 2012)

> The older colt is very guarded and defensive. He hides everything, doesn't trust, and we really don't understand why his first response is to explode. We cannot figure him out. We don't get him. He doesn't get us.


there are horses like this. Sometimes a certain person communicates in a way the horse understands, often times these horses end up as pasture pets, broodmares or at auctions.

There are also horses that are not "cuddly" but like their jobs. These horses are often the ones that dont share a magical "bond". My arab is one. I love her to peices, she seems to prefer I ride her to anyone else, and we have a relationship based on respect and understanding. She loves the type of riding we do, as do I, but I dont expect her to become an "in my pocket" type horse.



> He has a VERY strong desire to learn, and to understand and to do. He is very expressive with his ears and eyes and body language, and he is such a snorty boy. His little different snorts tell you so much. He is also very receptive to how we communicate verbally, visually, and physically. He makes such an effort to do the right thing and understand.


he sounds like a clone of my filly. Some are just like that. 

so are people. some are immpossible, some are guarded, or hard to get to know but very worth knowing if you take the time, others are social butterflys that want to make everyone happy.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

ponyboy said:


> I read all of the Black Stallion books and the "bond" between Alec and the Black wasn't all roses and rainbows. Heck, there was a book in the series called The Black Stallion Revolts. In The Black Stallion's Ghost, Henry told Alec not to let the Black near any mares because it would make him aggressive (I forget what the deal was there – he was a breeding stallion but they didn't want him to breed at that time for some reason).
> 
> Then there was Black Minx, the filly who bit and would only run fast if she thought the rider had lost control. A "magical bond" didn't stop Flame from freaking out on the racetrack either. And Bonfire's dam (I forget her name) wouldn't let the other boy (forget his name) near her foal.
> 
> So overall, I don't think the books were that unrealistic.


The books aren't unrealistic, no. I was referring more to the movies, to be honest. I don't know many people who have actually read The Black Stallion and still have the "syndrome". The movie(s), however, are a different story. I watched them with my non-horsey boyfriend and all I heard the whole time was "How come your horse isn't like that? How come it's taken longer for you to ride your horse?" Oh, I don't know...because mine was an unhandled 2yo stud colt when I got him and movies aren't quite true to life?
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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

If anyone actually ever read the original _My Friend Flicka_, _Thunderhead_, and _Green_ _Grass of Wyoming_, they wouldn't come away with any silly Black Stallion Syndrome ideas, either. 

Sure, the books were geared toward younger people, but they're not entirely unrealistic when it comes to the relationship between horses and humans. It's the stupid Disney-fied movies that make people think horses are just humans in fur suits who walk on all fours. :-x


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I guess I'd been around horses enough that reading the Black Stallion didn't leave me with romantic notions. If there was a horse in the book, I read it. Since I couldn't have a horse reading about them brought me closer. I too have dealt with owners with romantic notions, one almost trampelled because the horse, interested in something else, wasn't mindful of her space. Still the excuses. Clinton Anderson sarcastically refers to these horses as Precious.


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## BlueSpark (Feb 22, 2012)

The books are not bad. The movies are terrible. In the first one he feeds the black seaweed. In very short order they "bond", the previously violent stallion is suddenly following him all over like a puppy, then out into the ocean. Soon a total begginner is galloping a previously unmanageable stallion up and down the beach, bareback. Yeah, that's real life.
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## peppersgirl (Aug 24, 2012)

what gets me about these movies isnt so much the humanization of the horse...its the "training" they show in these movies.. you sing to your horse, or talk to him, or hell, lung him a bit and WALLLA, he is a trained ready for anything animal..

while I have a fantastic relationship with my mare pepper (we have a strange understanding of one another- never felt that close to another horse), I know she is stilljust a horse and in the event of a zombie attack, I am willing to bet money she would dumb my *** for zombie bait to save herself


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## ponyboy (Jul 24, 2008)

DraftyAiresMum said:


> The books aren't unrealistic, no. I was referring more to the movies, to be honest. I don't know many people who have actually read The Black Stallion and still have the "syndrome".


Well, it is also true that most people don't even know there are 20 books in the series. Most people have only read the first 2 books.


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

ponyboy said:


> Well, it is also true that most people don't even know there are 20 books in the series. Most people have only read the first 2 books.


Exactly. Again, was speaking more from the movie stand-point because thats what "everyone" knows.
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## blue eyed pony (Jun 20, 2011)

These sorts irritate me beyond words :/

one of the horses at work has been there for training for AGES, and to try to keep him from breaking one of the gates I flicked a lead rope at him... with his owner watching... BIG MISTAKE. Not only did I get chewed out by this lady for "hitting him in the face OMG YOU EVIL NASTY PERSON" she also told my boss I'd abused her horse.

Anticipating such actions I actually told my boss what had happened straight away, in detail. My boss stuck up for me... this horse is really pushy and actually dangerous through lack of respect, and has broken two of her gates. I now try not to go near him when his owner is present, because I am not going to put myself in danger because someone doesn't want their horse being disciplined.

After multiple thrown buckets at feeding time to keep him off me he now stands at a respectful distance and waits. He has caught a few in the face, and I've elbowed him accidentally-on-purpose a few times.

Oddly enough the few times I have handled him he was perfectly respectful on the lead. Coming from my boss and the other girl who works there I was expecting some monster with no respect for personal space. I'm assuming that because I've established the respect at feed time it's run into handling as well but I don't trust him not to suddenly decide to test me again.

Honestly he is such a lovely horse but people have gotten flattened and hurt because of his sheer lack of respect. I wish his owner would give him to me... lol! I work really well with the super-dominant types.


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

LadyDreamer said:


> The older colt is very guarded and defensive. He hides everything, doesn't trust, and we really don't understand why his first response is to explode. We cannot figure him out. We don't get him. He doesn't get us. He doesn't want to. There is no "try" in him and there isn't enough of us to make it worth out time to try anymore. The communication is horrible. I have no emotional connection with this horse. I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him, and he isn't interested in "talking" or "listening". This horse will never be "bonding" material for me. I take no enjoyment out of being with him. I hope one day he has someone who gets him.


You just exactly described my Dad's horse, Pokey, word for word. Thankfully, Pokey ended up with someone who had the knowhow and willingness to put the time in and get good results. If it had been up to me, Pokey probably never would have gotten broke. As for the bond thing, him and Dad have a great bond as Dad is the only one who can really handle him effectively 99% of the time (anyone else is doing very well to hit 80% LOL); however, there is nothing majikal about that, it just comes from countless hours spent in the saddle over the last several years.

I'll let you know when the day comes that Pokey lopes up to the fence to whinney when Dad drives up...but don't hold your breath :lol:.



I think a big part of this, in addition to the disney-fied world that so many people want to live in, is the unreasonable need for instant gratification. People want what they want at exactly the instant they want it, forget waiting or working toward getting it.


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## flytobecat (Mar 28, 2010)

We used to have a gal on property who thought her spoiled little mare was just being spirited when it would pull away from her and run around the barn full speed. It used to tick me off so bad, I mean we have little kids that are out there all the time.
I hate people like that. Not only do they create monster horses that someone else has to fix, they have no true appreciation of what a good horse to human relationship is.


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## COWCHICK77 (Jun 21, 2010)

The "Black Stallion Syndrome" is frustrating not only to watch but I am sure plenty of new horse owners get frustrated because horse ownership wasn't everything they thought it to be.

I believe horses should be interacted with as their personality dictates. 
My favorite three horses have/had different personalities and it was not always butterflies and unicorn farts. Two of them were the " let's go to work then leave me alone" type. The kind that would remind you not be lazy around them. I never tried to change that or make it magical. 
My current favorite horse, is the complete opposite, he is in your face(to the point where its annoying) type and wants to get into everything. He would live in the house if I would allow it. 
I like/liked all of them the way they were. You will be dissappointed with a lot of horses if don't accept them for their true personalities. I might add their is a difference between a horses personality and learned behavior, I think some get the the two confused or use it for an excuse for bad behavior.
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## sportschick068 (Sep 1, 2012)

I guess I'll throw in my two cents since I've written posts both about a bond with my horse as well as hoping my young horse ends up being tall (I saw someone post about height somewhere in this thread but don't know how to quote the posts or anything haha).

You want a bond with your horse. You want that "click" but all because someone refers to it as a bond doesn't mean that they're referring to it as that magical fairytale bond. In one of my posts, I was meaning more trust when I was using the term bond. My horse still gets disciplined and gets taught manners. All because I want to reinforce/strengthen the bond with her doesn't mean that I am being willy-nilly with her and treating her like a puppy dog or expecting us to happily run off into the sunset together. I teach her respect and manners and she has turned into a wonderful, loved horse at the barn. I asked for some fun-ish things to do only for an occasional "relaxing" day. It's constant work, work, work with training her and there are some days that I just want to let loose and do something that's stimulating but also stress-free for the horse and I. There are just those days that I want to take it easy with her. Of course, I can't speak about everyone. I know there are people that think they're supposed to have a fairytale bond with their horse, but all because a post is talking about strengthening a bond doesn't mean that's what they're expecting. My other horse, whom I've had for 13 years on Christmas, has never had that bond with me, necessarily. Yes, I'm one of the few (meaning probably 3 people) that can ride him and control him for the most part. Is that just an illusion in my head? No. He's a stubborn old man that is too strong and misbehaved for anyone else that tries to ride him. I've watched people try to ride him but he just ignores their leg and makes random turns and circles to the inside. I make him listen to me but we never "clicked." He and my mom have that bond. While he will stick to me when around other people, I'm scum to him when my mom is around. Since I've lacked that bond with my own horse for 13 years, I've been more hopeful with my new/young horse. We do click and she's amazing and I just want to keep that up. 

I just feel like you guys are categorizing people in just one group. 'Oh, she wants a BOND with her horse? No such thing as a fairytale relationship with your horse like the Black Stallion. You annoy me. So frustrating!' While yes, those people do exist that want that make-believe bond but it's best not to categorize everyone in that that is simply wanting a better and stronger relationship with their horse. There are those people that are looking for the make-believe bond that have no clue how to discipline their horses and there are those that want a strong bond with their horses but have taught them respect and mannerisms. 

In regards to wanting a tall horse, what's wrong with that? To each their own. I don't see why it's annoying that people are wanting tall horses. How is it affecting you? Yes, I know this thread is just made to vent, but seriously... Me, personally, I just like tall horses. I love the larger strides. People need to consider their sizes and heights, too. You don't want to see a 300lb person on a pony or a 6' person on a 13h pony just like it would be awkward seeing a 5'0" person riding a 17.3h horse. You get a horse according to what you like, what fits your body type, and what discipline you're riding. I mean, I'm only 5'7" and 145-150lbs but I've just never liked small horses. I feel weird on them. Is that bad? So I'm hoping that my horse will mature to at least 16 hands or so. Will I sell her if she doesn't reach that height? No, but it would be a bummer. I would still love her though. So what's the big deal about wanting a tall horse? No one is telling you what size horse to get so why are you hating on other peoples' preferences? 


This is not meant to be been or rude. Just stating my points


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## BlueSpark (Feb 22, 2012)

Sportschick; first, my issue is with people who expect fairy tales, not people who want a good relationship/ compatable personalities. Many people have come to beleive that you must have a magical bond or something is wrong. If you can't hop on and have an instant relationship( think black stallion movie), you need a different horse.

Secondly, the height thing isn't about person preference, it's about people following trends. One of the latest trends is tall horses. People will sell the horse they have to go buy something taller. It's ridiculous. I don't follow trends, so it's not an issue for me.

Example would be a older lady came looking for a trail mount . She can mount a 14.2hh horse her self. Dispite being 5'2" she insisted she only looked good on a tall horse. She bought a 17hh gelding, that she can't mount without a ladder.
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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

I think we need to distinguish something here. Yes, the people who follow the tall horse trend just to be "in vogue" are annoying. However, there are those of us who simply prefer taller horses. My boy is 16.1hh at almost four-years-old and should reach closer to 17hh by the time he's done growing. I'm ecstatic. I am 5'7" with A LOT of leg and look and feel funny on any horse smaller than 15.2hh. 

The way it's been made to sound by people complaining about the tall horse trend on this thread is that ANYONE who wants a tall horse is just following the latest fad.
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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

Sportschick, I'll repeat what I said in my first post on this thread: 

"_There is nothing wrong with wanting a willing partner. I think most of us want to get our horses there, if they aren't already. But if you want to stay safe, you need a horse that will obey even if they don't want to._"

My objection is to people who A) buy a horse because they felt some 'bond' [_Note - I'm guilty! And I've paid for that error..._], B) sell a horse because they've owned the horse 2 months and haven't formed some 'bond', and most of all, C) those who believe if you have a bond with your horse, it will always obey you and you can blow off things like tack or training.

In defense of Walter Farley, I just skimmed thru the book. On a racetrack, the Black often goes out of control. That was even a plot element in the big race - Alec is trying to stop him because the horse is injured, but he cannot. Their bond makes it easier for the horse to trust him, but it doesn't allow him to control the horse. The book regularly admits it makes riding the Black dangerous. So in that sense, the book is more realistic than the memory people have of the book or film.


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## Nightside (Nov 11, 2012)

I didn't mean to derail the thread a little but since there seems to be some confusion...

If you need/like/enjoy a bigger horse, great! I'm 5'9 and a like my horses at least 15 hands. I'll take more or a little less but as a prior barrel racer and heeler I got used to competing on the shorties. I'm sure there's a horse out there to prove me wrong but for the most part I can't imagine some of the lanky giants being able to wind around a barrel. 

My rant was geared towards people that had horses that worked for them, they bonded with, and they could do whatever they needed to be done with that horse, whining to mommy/spouse/other barn people how terrible it was that their horse was a measly 15 hands but Mrs. Jones has a fancy 18 hand horse and ALLLL the fancy barn folk of any importance ALLL have horses at LEAST 17 hands so old reliable was surely worth crap now. 

I am tall. I like tall horses. I just don't like seeing wonderful horses tossed aside as fast as possible because they weren't trendy.
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## BigGreyHorse (Sep 28, 2009)

I did read the horse books when I was a kid but my first mare made sure I never developed any fairytale fantasies regarding her. I ate too much dirt for that to happen. :lol: Bonding and join-up are not the cure for all the problems that can arise owning a horse. I think that is where a lot of "natural horsemanship" fails people or rather where people fail themselves and subsequently the animal. It isn't the cure. It is where the real work, the hard work begins.

I guess I feel more connected to the two I have now than any other horses I've owned. That being said, the whole neighborhood witnessed our special bond this morning when I yelled something like "bring it on [email protected]#'er I've got more nasty in my 50yr old little finger than you'll ever see...come on and we'll finish it". :evil:

I bet that daycare next door wishes they had thought harder about the location before they built!


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## poppy1356 (Jan 18, 2012)

Wait so you all are telling me my horse doesn't really love me?? But she calls for me when she sees her food bucket. That surely means she's excited to see me. Sometimes she likes to run home but she's really just keeping us from staying out after dark. She likes to play tag sometimes too, I get tired running around her pasture but she sure loves it.

In all seriousness we have come to a mutual understanding: You don't kill me and I don't kill you. You do as I say and you get food and shelter and blankets and treats and all my money...


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## ponyboy (Jul 24, 2008)

bsms said:


> C) those who believe if you have a bond with your horse, it will always obey you and you can blow off things like tack or training.



There are so many dog owners like this! Where I live all parks off-leash and every time I go I hear someone calling out their dog's name in a shocked voice because they can't believe the dog isn't listening to them.


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## RiverBelle (Dec 11, 2012)

I do agree that horses are their own species and they do not act on their feelings, they act on their instincts.

BUT

I do know that people and horses are capable of having a special bond like that. (well, maybe not that romantic, but still). 

BUT

That special bond doesn't come from how much you love them or whatever. It comes from working with the horse, respecting it, and teach it. Learning with the horse. It may not be a 'me horse loves me' type of bond, but it is a 'my horse trusts me' kind of bond.

For example, I have a appaloosa that when I got him, he was pretty much as nuts as he could be. He was worried, anxious, and just spooky. After working with him, he calmed down and looked to me to show him what to do when he was confused instead of just throwing me. So that 'bond' is real, just not as romantic as people think it is, lol


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## JaphyJaphy (Nov 15, 2012)

It occurred to me today that "raising" a horse is probably a lot like raising a child. You need to be loving and supportive, but you also need to be consistent and set clear boundaries and expectations. It's not magic, it's just the nature of the situation. Horses are herd animals and are predisposed to a leadership hierarchy.

In my opinion, the "bond" comes from having a mutually respectful relationship with your horse. You show them respect by being fair (ie. not abusing them, not asking too much, etc.) and a good leader and they show you respect by abiding by the boundaries you set and looking to you as their leader. If you spend hundreds of hours working with ANY horse (or other animal, or human!) there will always be a "bond" to some degree. As with anything else, certain combinations of horses and people will "get along" better than others, just like in social situations.


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## CdnCremello (Sep 8, 2012)

Casey02 said:


> Speed racer, that's what im trying to get across to people, that its not magical and a lot of peoples horses do that (not because they have this bond)
> They are like cows when you ride by on a horse:
> 
> 
> ...


I LOVE the cow to the right at the back. I realize he's mooing. But he looks AMAZED.


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## JaphyJaphy (Nov 15, 2012)

Hahaha, CdnCremello, you're so right!


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## Back2Horseback (Mar 21, 2012)

Excellent thread. Except you have it slightly off, BlueSpark...you seem to have missed the REAL REASON Alec and The Black bonded nearly instantly, _seemingly_ following the "feeding of the seaweed" experience...Nooo! In the movie, it happened much earlier (enter dreamy tinkling of chimes and low drum-beat to set the "flashback" scenario )....

You see, in the veeery beginning of the movie, when Alec was investigating the ship and snuck into the hold where they were keeping The Black? The Arabian men were attempting to "contain" The Black's uncontrollable power with what looked like a billion ropes; strapping him down, as he incessantly reared, screamed pitifully and violently... striking out with his hooves, biting the men, all in attempt to free himself ...there was Alec! Hiding, watching the whole experience from afar. The only human _not_ participating in the cruel treatment of The Black...

THIS, my fellow HF readers, WAS "THE" MOMENT when the true, inescapable b-o-n-d was created between Alec & The Black. Because (wait for it...) The Black COULD, IN FACT *read Alec's mind*!!! The horse telekinetically just KNEW he was good, kind, and trustworthy! Much unlike the nasty men in the robes and turbans with all the ropes and cruelty!

Yes...it was this--THE MOMENT--the basis for all to come between the boy, (pregnant pause) and the stallion...it happened before they had even--truly--MET! (Du-dum-DUUUM)!

All of you who intimated that horses cannot read minds of humans, and just KNOW instantly who is good and bond instantly to them were wrong!! You know how I know?? Cause Disney said so, dammit!:lol:


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