# Letting someone else show my horse? :/



## JenniMay (Aug 17, 2011)

Your horse, your decision. Period.

If it makes you uncomfortable, just be honest & straightforward.

(ps I wouldn't give permission for it either...)


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Just say it, haha. Am I reading correctly that you are paying full board for your horse, and yet the trainer gets to use him for lessons? Or are you keeping him at her barn for a discounted price without charging her extra for lessons? If you're still paying for him she's already getting a gift from the heavens, so she should not be offended if you decline. I would just say that you're not comfortable with him being taken off of the property, and that you appreciate her asking your permission. If the girl likes your horse so much suggesting a half lease that allows for some showing privileges might be an option for you 

Moral of the story- he's your horse, and if she's not paying for him, you don't want him to be shown by someone else, and you're the only one that has any say over where he goes and stays!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Thanks, friend. I guess I just don't want to step on any toes, or come across as selfish or ungrateful for everything BO has done for me. I'm not typically one to say no...


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## tlkng1 (Dec 14, 2011)

As was indicated the horse is yours so the final decision is yours, however, just a thought. Good school horses in and of themselves are invaluable due to their temperaments and willingness..not all horses make a good school horse. If a rider is doing very well on a particular school horse, a show with good results can go a long way to giving them more confidence. Depending upon your goals, a good showing is also going to increase your horse's worth especially if it is a rated show. 

In this situation I would allow the show but would have set expectations as to trailering protection (boots, wraps, head bumper etc), a SIGNED agreement that the trainer/barn would handle any and all medical issues related if they came up, etc. Essentially getting a guarantee that the trainer/barn takes 100% responsibility for the horse for the entire show process. Also add in that any and all fees related to the show are strictly the responsibility of the rider/trainer/barn. If they won't agree to that than no, I wouldn't allow. Given that the barn is using the horse for lessons without paying you, I would also consider requesting a show fee tack on to reduce your board..in other words, "you can use the horse for showing for a $50.00 reduction in board for the month per days of show. Three days showing, they take off $150.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^I should have mentioned that I show this horse myself. She would be showing at a rated (I'm not sure /which/ rating, as I didn't get the details xD) show in the pre-childrens. It is a single day show. 

I show in the B and A circuits in either Schooling Hunter or Green Hunter divisions. So, the value thing doesn't really apply, but is a good thought if I didn't show myself!


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Zexious said:


> Thanks, friend. I guess I just don't want to step on any toes, or come across as selfish or ungrateful for everything BO has done for me. I'm not typically one to say no...


While I don't know what all she has done for you, you have done an awful lot for her by allowing her to use your horse in lessons for free. She should be grateful as well!


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Zexious said:


> ^I should have mentioned that I show this horse myself. She would be showing at a rated (I'm not sure /which/ rating, as I didn't get the details xD) show in the pre-childrens. It is a single day show.
> 
> I show in the B and A circuits in either Schooling Hunter or Green Hunter divisions. So, the value thing doesn't really apply, but is a good thought if I didn't show myself!


There is a certain value that is added if you're able to say that the horse was shown by a beginner rider/child. Many horses perform beautifully with a good rider on their back, but putting a child on them in the show ring could be disastrous! Unless you ever anticipate selling him though, his marketability as a kid's horse doesn't really matter all that much. Just makes him look more proven as a well-rounded horse!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^Oh, that's something I didn't think of! But, no, I don't even plan on selling him. I got him as a senior, and he will spend the rest of his life with me as his owner. So, marketability really isn't all that big of a concern to me.


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

I could see saying no for possible safety concerns, but it sounds like your saying no because you don't want to give another person the satisfaction of showing him because you can't.

Of course at the end of the day its up to you. If it were me an I knew the person doing the handling/shipping and I knew my horse wouldn't likely do anything to cause a problem I wouldn't have a problem with them using him/her. Also, contract, contract contract. 

At the end of the day if you feel that strongly though I fess upfront and honest would. Be the best.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^That is a large part of it. I don't feel comfortable having my horse taken off of the property without my being there, as I mentioned in the first post. But, you're right, even more than that I am frustrated at the idea of someone else showing him when I cannot. I guess that answers the question as to whether or not I am being selfish?

This move has been stressful enough, and it is extra frustrating that I send a $600+ check to nowhere land every month for a horse I cannot, at present, enjoy. It makes me feel guilty enough that other people are riding him, let alone show him!

But, maybe I'm just being silly x.x


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Gotta ask...why on earth are you allowing them to use your horse for free?!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

The fact that he stay in work was more important to me than compensation... Do you think I should have asked for some? Too late now, of course xD But, yeah, just out of curiosity.


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

Zexious said:


> The fact that he stay in work was more important to me than compensation... Do you think I should have asked for some? Too late now, of course xD But, yeah, just out of curiosity.


Absolutely i would ask for compensation!! I'd push for half the expenses. They are making money off your horse... Which is costing them $0 dollars. Your horse is making them 100% profit. Their own horses are making maybe 50% (probably less) after they are done with the upkeep expenses of their own horses.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Zexious said:


> The fact that he stay in work was more important to me than compensation... Do you think I should have asked for some? Too late now, of course xD But, yeah, just out of curiosity.


Heck yeah I would! Especially since she is making money off of your horse. It may be one thing if you allowed her daughter to ride him when she pleased to keep him in work, but if she's doing 3 $50 lessons/week for example and you're paying $600/month in board... hardly seems fair. Like you said though, a bit too late now. Not worth making a stink if it's only going to be another month or two...


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Yea it's a bit too late now. They may have been nice to you or whatever in the past but surely they knew better. I can't help but feel you're being taken advantage of. It would not shock me if they were already taking the horse out and about.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

It's your horse, and you owe them nothing. If you don't want him to go, then simply say that she needs to find another horse to show.


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## Cynical25 (Mar 7, 2013)

Skyseternalangel said:


> It's your horse, and you owe them nothing. If you don't want him to go, then simply say that she needs to find another horse to show.


This. Unless you signed a lease giving them full use of your horse, you have the right to say no. That said, would keeping him in "show shape" be a bad thing in your absence?

I agreed to "share" my horse at a show one summer during high school, when a novice rider's new horse went lame. It was hard to watch someone else win ribbons on MY horse after all the training I'd put in, but it was also gratifying to see how my training/my horse helped a young rider learn to love showing.

That said, I later leased this seasoned show mare out when I went to college, and the mare was returned to be blind in one eye. While she technically could have done the same thing playing in the pasture, it happened at a show facility.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

I ended up saying no. It would be different if I could show him, too. Or if I had the balls to ask for compensation.

But I politely told the trainer that I don't feel comfortable with them taking Gator off the property without me there. Young shower can ride the other option horsie and I'm sure she'll do great~


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I hope you have put this in the form of a letter or email that you don't want the horse going off property. Conversations wind up in la-la land. Do you have a close friend who would pop into the show and take a few pics of the classes, someone who knows your horse? If the kids were to do well on your horse, that scores well with the trainer.


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## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

Your decision, but I would have no personal issue with it.

I completely understand where you are coming from, however.

For me, as someone who has struggled financially and had some rat bag horses along the way, I would have loved the opportunity to ride a well trained horse, and have a been there done that to take to a show. 

Naturally there are risks.. but there always are with horses. If the horse will find that one sharp thing in acres of field, it will 

Agree with Saddlebag, however. Did you get it in writing?

Another thing I would have insisted on is a written contract, as I did with leases on my old horse, and what I have drafted up for a horse I now have on lease. Who is responsible for care of tack, if the horse is injured in a lesson, or as a direct fault of the trainer/rider etc who forks out for vets bills?
Sorry to go off subject, but I really did learn the hard way, that when it comes down to the nitty gritty of money no one is your friend.. especially in the horse world!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

Saddlebag-No, I don't have any friends where he is. I have never lived in Texas before, and have only visited twice so I really don't know anyone. My parents live there, and check on him weekly where he is kept.

As far as a contract goes... it seems like I am a day late and a dollar short. This arrangement has been in place since June, and it seems silly to ask for it now. What are other's thoughts?


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

How long is your horse going to be there for?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^The original plan was... well, forever. The plan was that I would be finishing up my senior year of college in Texas. But things were pushed back, and it was looking like I wouldn't get there 'til May or later.

But, now I am questioning the decision altogether and am just considering bringing him home.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Zexious said:


> ^The original plan was... well, forever. The plan was that I would be finishing up my senior year of college in Texas. But things were pushed back, and it was looking like I wouldn't get there 'til May or later.
> 
> But, now I am questioning the decision altogether and am just considering bringing him home.


Hm, I misunderstood and thought that you would just be keeping him there by himself for a month or two until you moved. May is a long way and several thousand dollars in board away. If you can afford to bring him back to you, you like the barn up where you are now, and you would actually have time to spend with him then I would bring him back. 

Suddenly demanding they pay for half of his board could cause a situation between you and the barn owner that you can't handle properly without being there. It's possible that they would be very understanding and pick up some of the expenses, or they could get angry. I wouldn't just call her up one day and make the request. If you decide that you need to move him or get some compensation, then I'd either do it if you got a chance to go down there, or have your parents able to help out. And be ready to have another barn and a trailer lined up- I hate to sound paranoid, but angry horse people can be bad news. If I was in your position though, I would not let things stand as is for the better part of a year. One or two months is one thing, but you would be spending thousands of dollars for someone else to make money off of a horse that you aren't able to ride!


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^It was originally just supposed to be a month or two.

I'm really in a sticky sort of situation. The hauling fees were close to $1,500. Which was fine, but I really can't afford to do that two more times if I bring him back to CO, then change my mind and want to go back to TX. I need to make a decision about whether I am staying or going, and then go from there.

Though I am busy, time was never an issue. I always had time to spend with him, and still did.

The other issue is that I don't have a barn I'm at now. I kept him at a show barn that was nearly $700 for paddock board alone. Fees were just piling on top of that. While I could afford it, it left me with very little room to do anything else. Plus, it was pretty far, about a 40 minute drive. So, I would need to decide if I wanted to give up my social life and go back to that lifestyle, or keep him somewhere low key and just ride him. Either way, I'd need to make those connections again.

I'd like to take lessons in the meantime, but find myself in a bit of a pickle there as well. The barns that have trainers teaching in the area at a level appropriate to mine really don't keep school horses, and charge a hefty fee to use a boarder's horse. This usually brings lessons to $70+. Though other barns are cheaper, they just aren't the quality of instruction that I would benefit from at this stage in my horsie career.


I am by no means the 'demanding' type, so that was never really up for consideration. I would just continue paying for full board until I figure it out.

Ugh. I'm so confused and don't know what to do... Does anyone have any suggestions about the long run? D:


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## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

If he is there forever... Well, then I would make a deal with the BO. If you are in a position to do so, then get a buy back contract. 
Sell or gift him to the yard. He can reach a potential with students and others.

And you are not financially out of pocket, paying for a horse you may see on the odd occasion? Unless I am mistaking something here 

I gifted my heart horse to my trainer. I have no doubt when he reaches a right age and education he will be in lessons, and in their carriage, and possibly at competitions. But I would very rarely get to see him, or financially afford to keep him. Now I can spend the money going back to see him instead.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^Maybe I am doing a bad job at explaining myself... Him being there forever was the plan, but only under the precedence that I was going to move there. First it would be in August (which I don't think I mentioned in this thread), then it was pushed back. It was just a matter of when. But now I am questioning that move altogether. If I don't move, I'll bring him back to CO. It's just not a move that I want him to have to make twice.

I really don't want to sell or gift him. He's my baby ._.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Perhaps you can look into finding a child that wants to lease him (with or without showing privileges) at this or another barn. If he is as great and loved by his lesson kids as you say he is, then he is worth his weight in gold as a lease horse. Could you have a discussion with the barn owner that basically goes along the lines of "My riding career is suffering because I can't take lessons, but I cannot afford to because my horse budget is maxed out". Then say that you would like to either lease him out, or that she can enter into a lease agreement. I wouldn't make any drastic decisions to move him over to you without having your plans figured out- it does seem excessive to spend another $3000 to have him hauled there and back before you know where you will ultimately end up. If you feel as though you'll answer that question pretty soon then I'd just stick with the current situation until then, but if you won't decide until next year then I'd look into the lease possibility in the meantime. 

Still though, I'd be careful in how you approach the situation as far as communicating with the barn owner. If she's at all a reasonable person then she will understand, but not all horse folks are reasonable when they suddenly have to pay for something that they feel entitled to. I'd look into other barns in the area as that you can possibly relocate to if the two of you don't see eye to eye. Also, I don't see selling or "gifting" the horse as an option that you need to consider right now. Within the next year you will know where you are going in life and can get back to riding your horse. If you sell him then you may never have that opportunity.


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

If you are at a stable with those kind of fees my guess is she was going to make $$ by charging the rider to use your horse, along with trailering fees and supervision at the show. Who knows she maybe getting lease money on your horse as it is. Usually when a horse is used for lessons they pay all the expenses on the horse. Like a free lease. Since it is of benefit to you maybe a half lease. But I would want good care over money so it could be hard midstream to change the agreement at this point. Hopefully you are not paying for shoes? My guess is if he wasn't being ridden you could go barefoot.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

DuckDodgers-If he were in a leasing situation, I would have no issue with someone taking him to a show. I would be receiving fair monetary compensation, and they would be spending adequate time with him so I think that would be fair. It's something I would consider for sure.

Churumbeque-She does charge a $10 fee to use a lesson horse.
And yes, I am paying for shoes. In addition to his board I pay for fan usage, alfalfa, meds/electrolytes, and shoes. And, of course, vet fees. I guess I hadn't really thought of these things until now... x.x


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

Zexious said:


> DuckDodgers-If he were in a leasing situation, I would have no issue with someone taking him to a show. I would be receiving fair monetary compensation, and they would be spending adequate time with him so I think that would be fair. It's something I would consider for sure.
> 
> Churumbeque-She does charge a $10 fee to use a lesson horse.
> And yes, I am paying for shoes. In addition to his board I pay for fan usage, alfalfa, meds/electrolytes, and shoes. And, of course, vet fees. I guess I hadn't really thought of these things until now... x.x


 You have a lot to consider. Good luck and obviously you knowing your horse is taken care of and you don't have to worry is worth more than money.


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## Bagheera (Apr 23, 2013)

Tread very carefully in this situation. I'd start out with what you've already done by saying no to the horse leaving the property. Then I'd reach out to the BO and let them know you'd like to lease your horse out to help with the financial aspect. You or your parents need to be present for this conversation. If the BO freaks out about it, move the horse immediately. If they are supportive of it, then make sure you have a solid contract if the BO decides to lease the horse as a lesson horse, or if an individual rider wants to lease the horse. At the end of the day, you have to protect yourself, your horse, and your financial interests.


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