# Being Solicited for board



## Nuala (Jan 2, 2012)

The guy who owns the place where my horse is in board has been sexually harassing me. Comments about my bust size my butt etc. I put it out of my mind thinking "oh he's just a lonely old man let him look" but lately it has gotten physical. He has put his hand down my shirt slapped my butt etc. I asked him not to but today while I was out there I talked to him about possibly doing a trade for this mare that I have been training and working with. I normally charge $1000 for braking and training, my horses always get trained to bit and hackamore as well as spur trained, trained to the crop, trail broke, trained to cross bridges and water with a rider and all of the basics. He told me he wanted between $500-$1000 for her so I figured since I have been training her that we could do a trade instead of him pay me to train her and then me pay him for her. 
So this morning I talk to him about it saying That I was looking for the best way to get her/what I want and get him what he wanted for her. He said "I dont think you can give me what I wanted" while reaching out to play with the zipper of my jeans. I of course told him no and he said "well pop in some time and we'l take care of some of your pasture rent with it". Soliciting me! My dad knows that he has tried to put his hands down my shirt once already but I cant tell them about how bad it is because my mom doesnt think I should have a horse and that anything I get myself into because of my horse is my fault. And I cant let my fiance know because he will leave basic to kill this guy and the Marines is his dream.

I plan to report him but I want the mare and my horses out of there before I do so that he cant cause problems with them. It should be known to the other boarders what he is doing because most of them are women. I dont have someone to go over there with me all the time so its either only go once a week or go by myself. Its just a bad situation all the way around and I want to get out of there/away as quickly as possible. One of the other boarders keeps spreading rumors and lies about me as it is. I have done nothing but bend over backwards to make sure this property is safe for all of the horses especially when the other boarders horses got mange and they wouldnt call the boarders to let them know.
Should I report him now or wait until my horses are safe?
Should I use it to get full ownership of this horse? (threatening is really my think but I've been told to already)
Do I just take him to court?


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I don't get it. The guy sexually harrasses you yet you make up excuses not to charge him. He won't do anything to your horses as he'll be in deeper manure if he does. This guy needs your bf to have a little "chat".


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

Your parents know about this, and do nothing? My goodness gracious. Stop working with his horse, if he gives you the horse, he expects something in return and he has made it clear what he wants. There is no reason in the world for him to let you train his horse and "give" it to you, give your head a shake. Keep your distance from him and find another place to keep your horses. Unbelievable!


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## COWCHICK77 (Jun 21, 2010)

I would of dotted his eyes and boxed his ears. And I promise if my dad knew of it they would be looking for body parts. You need to get out now regardless of whether you like the mare or not, bad situation that's fixin to get worse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Nuala (Jan 2, 2012)

He said he'd take money for her so maybe once my fiance gets back we'l go buy her if we can. Shes just so far along I'd hate to stop now. I'm the only one she'l let lead her in without putting up a fuss and she actually went after the lady boarder thats trying to start stuff with me because the lady tried to snatch the lead from my hands. I am looking for a place hopefully I can get them out asap. 

When it first started it was more joking but I guess now Im going to have to keep my knife on me whenever Im out there just in case.


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

You've been told what to do. You've decided to ignore it and place some horse above your safety.

Good luck.


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## thesilverspear (Aug 20, 2009)

Really? You're more patient than me. Christ, if some skeazy guy reached out to "play with the zipper of my jeans" like that or got close enough to "reach down my shirt," he'd have a knee or foot to the balls within seconds. And he would probably be speaking to the police. And my horses would have been out of there like yesterday.


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

You can't ask for or expect a training fee _after_ you've already worked the horse for free. You need to buy it or not.

You can't press charges for a guy hitting on you. Every time you let him fiddle with your zipper or other parts you are only encouraging him. I'm assuming you are an adult? The next time he bothers you ignore the verbal & if he makes physical contact-make some back...in a not so nice way so he'll know without a doubt you're not interested. I wouldn't think stabbing him would be such a good idea though.

You also need to move out of there.

I used to board with a perverted BO. Once on a trail ride he had me hold his horse while he relieved himself in the woods. When he was through with that business he exposed his junk as he was walking back to get his horse. He ended up having a nice long walk home. He got the message.


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## thesilverspear (Aug 20, 2009)

This sort of thing gets my angry feminist side of really wound up. While the guy is definitely a masogynist pig, it's up to you to show self-respect and not let him get away with that crap. Do whatever you have to do to establish that this is just not on. I play Irish traditional music in pubs, many of which have a high proportion of sleazy men about, and I have never once been groped nor had to threaten anyone with castration due to perfecting the art of giving off hostile, ****ed off vibes and body language towards anyone who looks sketchy. I recommend working on this. 

You don't only need to establish firm boundaries with horses.


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## Nuala (Jan 2, 2012)

Before I started training ANY horses he had said that he would pay me. So I am not asking after the fact. 
I did knock his hand away when he reached out and if he tries again I will not be so nice. 
As for the knife I wouldnt stab him but it usually makes them think twice before acting. However if he does still keep up I wont tolerate it. 

mildot - it is not that I am choosing to ignore it but I cant NOT go there while my horses are still there. I can leave without the mare but my stud and gelding I refuse to. If it happens again I will be calling the cops.


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

Nuala said:


> Before I started training ANY horses he had said that he would pay me. So I am not asking after the fact.
> I did knock his hand away when he reached out and if he tries again I will not be so nice.
> As for the knife I wouldnt stab him but it usually makes them think twice before acting. However if he does still keep up I wont tolerate it.
> 
> mildot - it is not that I am choosing to ignore it but I cant NOT go there while my horses are still there. I can leave without the mare but my stud and gelding I refuse to. If it happens again I will be calling the cops.


And say what? That some guy is trying to get into your pants? If that was a crime most men would be in jail. 

Most trainers get paid before they train the horse. 

The mare aside, why would you have to refuse leave your other horses? They are yours, if you leave you automatically take them.


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## Nuala (Jan 2, 2012)

natisha said:


> And say what? That some guy is trying to get into your pants? If that was a crime most men would be in jail.
> 
> Most trainers get paid before they train the horse.
> 
> The mare aside, why would you have to refuse leave your other horses? They are yours, if you leave you automatically take them.


I cant take them until I have another place for them.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

It's time to find another place, this guy isn't going to stop and do you really want to hang around a barn with some old sleaze bucket?


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

Nuala said:


> I cant take them until I have another place for them.


Does this guy have a wife?


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Invest in some steel toed boots. Trust me it works.

Seriously girl what the heck are you still doing there? Any kind of advancement from a guy that I do not welcome and I will knock that idea WAY out of their head.

Just reading your OP made me creep out beyond belief. If he even went close to my chest with his hand I would slap him so hard he'd be seeing stars. Or went to reach for my zipper I'd kick him in the balls.

Come on.. defend yourself. And get the heck out of there! I'd find a place to just keep them for awhile. Forget about amenities or whatever.. just get them out!


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## Samstead (Dec 13, 2011)

Nuala said:


> He said he'd take money for her so maybe once my fiance gets back we'l go buy her if we can. Shes just so far along I'd hate to stop now. I'm the only one she'l let lead her in without putting up a fuss and she actually went after the lady boarder thats trying to start stuff with me because the lady tried to snatch the lead from my hands. I am looking for a place hopefully I can get them out asap.
> 
> When it first started it was more joking but I guess now Im going to have to keep my knife on me whenever Im out there just in case.


You're still considering buying a horse from him after he assaulted you?! Are you insane?! I'd get out of there and go to the cops! He can and should be charged. I get wanting your horses out before you do anything and I'd get out ASAP


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## mind (Dec 14, 2011)

The best course of action would be to have either your fiance, father or a male friend accompany you to the barn at least once, but preferably routinely. Steel toes and a knife are effective deterrents once they come into play, but the situation needs to escalate to a pretty high level of severity to make any use of them. The BO does not respect you, you're not a tenant or a trainer, you're a sexual object he desires. You've shown him that you can be pushed around and bullied already (no offense). It will take a lot to change the perception he has of you, a lot. Just introducing an intimidating, preferably male, presence would go a long way.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

mind said:


> Just introducing an intimidating, preferably male, presence would go a long way.


Bikers would be my preference. Or grab a marine guard or fireman and lug him along.


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## Adam (Feb 6, 2012)

If my daughter told me this story, the only presence he'd need to be worried about would be mine......
Tell your dad, don't leave anyting out. I would imagine the problem will be quickly solved.


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## TimberRidgeRanch (Mar 6, 2012)

Reminds me of my T shirt I have " hurt my kid dont worry about her dad its her mom you got to worry about" I would knock his freaking teeth out tell him either hand her the horse or face law suit. Stupid idiot ( putting it nicely) needs to get gelded!
TRR


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## PetoftheDay (Mar 21, 2012)

Do not let it go a day further. Do you have any documentation of his offer to pay you for the training you did? Anything in writing at all? By ignoring it, you have only inadvertently encouraged the bad behavior. Have there ever been any witnesses to this? If not, you are in the unfortunate position of a "he said, she said" case, which is hard for the law to do anything about. Bring someone you trust with you the very next time you go to the barn, doesn't matter who. Speak to him in front of that person, and let him no no further touching of any kind will be permitted, and no further comments about your body. Explain you will be recording any future interactions with him, just in case. (Many phones or other small electronic devices can do this.)

That should hopefully buy you enough time to get your horses to a safer place for everyone concerned. 

Is there anyone in local law enforcement that you know?


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## mind (Dec 14, 2011)

Skyseternalangel said:


> Bikers would be my preference. Or grab a marine guard or fireman and lug him along.


It doesn't need to be a biker, marine or fireman. 

I don't know any man who when faced with the situation Nuala has been enduring, who could not face the BO with his behavour in mind and present an intimidating enough presence to almost definitely ensure it stops. The BO is just a horny old bully picking on someone who he perceives as weaker than him.

I've dealt with similar situations for my female friends a couple of times in the past. I'm not all that intimidating on the average day, but I've never had to have a second conversation with the offending guy.


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## Nuala (Jan 2, 2012)

Well I am done with it I am going to finish out board and if he tries again It will be my boot winking at him when he brushes his teeth in the morning. No it was a verbal agreement that I believe he did discuss with his former trainer, who retired to trail riding only. Hopefully if it happens again I'l have either my gelding or my friends because both of them will "go after" him on my say so.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

mind said:


> It doesn't need to be a biker, marine or fireman.
> 
> I don't know any man who when faced with the situation Nuala has been enduring, who could not face the BO with his behavour in mind and present an intimidating enough presence to almost definitely ensure it stops.


Oh I know I was joking.

I know any man could do it.


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## MisssMarie (Jan 31, 2012)

To quote the advice I was given? Grab him back and squeeze like your life depends on it - works just as well as kicking, and at first he thinks your interested - so, it's emotional too!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PetoftheDay (Mar 21, 2012)

MisssMarie - I'd not do that, for fear of getting prosecuted or charged with assault. A kick is more likely to be seen as a reflexive - not-premeditated - reaction.

And frankly, although I am female, and only 5' 6" I can be as intimidating as any man, it's all in the attitude. I tell people I may not have inherited my Dad's height, but I have a 6-foot-tall attitude regardless. (I did get at least 5 extra inches of height from Dad's side, not complaining!)

Nuala, keep your guard up, and try never to be alone with the guy, just in case.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

MisssMarie.. I wouldn't do that either. Some guys like that... that, to me, is inviting a sexual advance rather than stopping one dead in its tracks.


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## newbierider (Mar 15, 2010)

Hmmm forgive me because I have not read all the replies but I do not believe your thinking is too clear on this one. Forget the other horse, money, training, the price of tea in china and anything else.
Move your horses elsewhere period and have nothing to do with the pervert.
End of story.


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## mind (Dec 14, 2011)

I second Sky and PetoftheDay, MissMarie.

The old man would probably take that as a sexual advance, mens' minds and logic often don't go hand and hand. 



Skyseternalangel said:


> Oh I know I was joking.
> 
> I know any man could do it.


Ah okay, that humor didn't convey through the text.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

mind said:


> Ah okay, that humor didn't convey through the text.


Yeahhh sorry about that!


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## Nitefeatherz (Jan 23, 2012)

I have to say that when I was in your situation (with a man that has a habit of propositioning women inappropriately that escalated if he wasn't put in his place) a few choice words about the tempers of the significant men in our lives usually took care of it.

We didn't actually have to have the man we were describing do anything- but sometimes just talking about what a "temper" and how protective the man in your life- and that he was a cop/fireman/active duty marine/etc-can be will be enough for the pervert involved to take the hint. 

If he has to worry about some man showing up and beating the stuffing out of him (make sure it is implied and subtle- discuss the man in your life as if the conversation was just leading that way without any kind of obvious threat,) then he may very well decide you're not worth it and back down.

The key here to making yourself safe while you get out is to make yourself an undesirable target- and if the effort is too much he may very well take his attentions elsewhere. Either way- I would make it well known at your barn what he is doing. Maybe just take the other women at the barn aside quietly when you see them and warn them?


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## Nuala (Jan 2, 2012)

Funny thing is when I left the East coast and came to calm quiet hicksville I figured it would be a new start and I didnt have to worry about kicking the **** of womanizing jerks. I thought it would be a new start and I could clean up my act but I guess even small town nowhere Montana is going to keep me cold bitter and angry. He knows I'm marrying a marine and thats still not stopping him. He has made a few sexual advances towards one other boarder that I have heard about but no each time with me we have been alone.

I think part of why I havent really DONE anything about it is because I know what all I am capable of and he's and old man I dont want to hospitalize or possibly kill the old perv. But since I moved here I have gotten a lot nicer and more tolerant of bs that I shouldnt. Guess I go back to being the girl from the getto for now.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Nuala said:


> Funny thing is when I left the East coast and came to calm quiet hicksville I figured it would be a new start and I didnt have to worry about kicking the **** of womanizing jerks.


Trust me hun, no matter where you go there will be jerkwads who have no respect for anyone and you CANNOT let your guard down for a change of scneary. You can be your sweet self until someone does something inappropriate (just like horse training!) then you correct it then and there.

It's not your fault at all but I would have drawn the line way long ago.. and you say he's doing this with another boarder??? What on earth. Both of you need to get on out of there.

And don't be afraid to kick someone's butt. If this were a stallion after you, you'd pipe up a different tune. Treat it with seriousness. You are to be respected. You decide HOW BIG the correction needs to be. Like I said, if someone played with my zipper I would deck them and they'd be out cold. Someone reached for my chest I would slap some reality into them. If someone said something sexual toward me and I didn't want it, I would fire back and shut them up.

Do not tolerate it!

But seriously, get out of there


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## Nitefeatherz (Jan 23, 2012)

I have to agree. NO ONE is allowed to touch me unless I invite it and tolerate it. Otherwise I make it clear to back off in any way needed. If they persisted- board or not- I wouldn't ever tolerate the situation. I would have found myself another barn long ago.

Not only are you putting up with his nonsense you're PAYING him and giving him money. :?


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

Nuala said:


> He said he'd take money for her so maybe once my fiance gets back we'l go buy her if we can. Shes just so far along I'd hate to stop now. I'm the only one she'l let lead her in without putting up a fuss and she actually went after the lady boarder thats trying to start stuff with me because the lady tried to snatch the lead from my hands. I am looking for a place hopefully I can get them out asap.
> 
> When it first started it was more joking but I guess now Im going to have to keep my knife on me whenever Im out there just in case.


 
You're willing to put this horse's progress in front of your saftey? I think you're in store for a rude awakening.


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## mls (Nov 28, 2006)

Nuala said:


> He knows I'm marrying a marine and thats still not stopping him.
> 
> I think part of why I havent really DONE anything about it is because I know what all I am capable of and he's and old man I dont want to hospitalize or possibly kill the old perv.


It doesn't matter who else is in your life. Threats are hollow. 

If you do not have a written contract, you are SOL for any training fees. take the horses that belong to you and leave. At present the situation is he said/she said. Why hang around until it becomes something more. As long as you are willing to go on his property, the cops can't do anything about it. No TRO, no harassment charges, no suits.


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## Rascaholic (Oct 4, 2010)

GET OUT! He may seem like "A harmless old perv" but he isn't. He is a sexual predator. So many people gloss over that fact with: "He's just an old creepy guy." " He wouldn't force himself on me, he just cops a feel.".... YES he is a creepy guy. A predatory, creepy, twisted, old guy.Stop playing his game.
To him this is the hunt and score. He scored physical contact. He has you where he wants you now. Horse held over your head, scared to tell anyone, and worried about the animals you have boarded there. Yeah he has plenty of ammo with you. He'll be feeling a lot more secure when you discuss the training fee for the other mare, and purchase. 
While you may think you can handle the old dude, I pray for your sake that you are right. I really hope you don't get a rude awakening about how strong the old man is. Because by then, it'll be to **** late to do anything but bash yourself for being stupid while you hopefully heal your body and mind.


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## Clayton Taffy (May 24, 2011)

Rascaholic, you are so right, I hope you did not get all your wisdom from first hand experience. But you nailed it on the head, this man thinks he has leverage on the OP, and that is a dangerous situation to be in.


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

I would not go to the barn alone-have a witness! Keep your phone handy for calling & taking pictures. Have you talked to the other gal that was bothered? What has she done? Have you looked this guy up on the sexual predator lists? Just because he's older don't assume he is weak-most men are much stronger than we are-please be careful.


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## KarrotKreek (Mar 31, 2012)

I understand feeling like he should be the one to back down, and thinking "you haven't done anything wrong... why should you give up everything and leave?"
Been there, and it's not pleasant. There's no lack of pervy old men like this. Unfortunately they have more experience at the game than you right now. There's no shame in leaving the barn, at least you can salvage your reputation that way before things get further out of hand.

Not sure how bad you want that horse, but here's an idea that still gets you the heck outta Dodge and at least a shot at the horse.

My guess is that he won't sell you the horse... it's bait at this point and he will use it to lure you in however he can manipulate the situation. So someone other than you has a better shot at getting the horse.

First, for your own well being... Take steps to start finding a new place ASAP. But don't let him know you are leaving. In the mean time dont go striking up any conversations about buying the horse. The more desparate you appear to own her, the more he knows he has control. If anything keep conversation to wanting your training fee... And thats only IF you have to talk to him. Time out your departure with a hail mary play at buying the mare. Have someone who isnt known to be one of your friends, offer to buy the horse. Key to this is that the offer is made while you are still there so that it appears authentic. For authenticity, You need the buyer to be someone who has somehow seen or heard of the horse or set it up so that the person has, that way it looks legitimately disconnected from you. If an out of the blue offer for an obscure horse gets tossed his way after you leave I'm sure he's going to think its connected to you. And then the bait is back on.

Use the offer to at least judge what he values the horse at. He can name a price and your person can either buy it (if you have the funds), or back off due to whatever price he gives and say they aren't interested at that price now - its out of their budget or whatever. That at least keeps the door open to future negotiation when you do have the money. And it wont appear odd for them to show interest in her again after you leave. But obviously this person would still need to be the middleman so to speak.


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## Nuala (Jan 2, 2012)

I am working on getting out. I have one place I am trying to get ahold of but while my one horse is still a stud there arent many places near by. Hopefully I will be able to get a hold of my friend with a property soon. She isnt in state right now so she sometimes doesnt answer her phone.

I think I'm going to tell him that I have to take the money (the $450-$500 he says the other people charge for "braking") for now, get my horse gelded and borrow the rest of the money needed for the mare after I'm out. 

I am not putting her progress above my safety as much as everyone else's safety. I am also not going to punish the mare because the guy who has her papers is a perv. She will literally get aggressive anyone other then me who tries to catch her and she really doesnt have a mean bone in her. She pins her ears if they walk up showing her a halter and threatens to bite when they put the lead over her neck and kicks out when they try to put the halter on or lead her. He wants something between $500-$1000 he knows that he cant get the $1000 he would like to see for her in this market and he said that I can choose what I want/can afford to pay. At the moment I am only willing to pay $600 at most but after I train her she will be worth more then $1000 but I wont pay that since I already put my time in to her.


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## Casey02 (Sep 20, 2011)

> She will literally get aggressive anyone other then me who tries to catch her and she really doesnt have a mean bone in her. She pins her ears if they walk up showing her a halter and threatens to bite when they put the lead over her neck and kicks out when they try to put the halter on or lead her


Well this makes no since to me..... you say she doesnt have a mean bone in her body, but will bite, pin her ears and do everything bad to ANY one but you. Hmmm

How on Gods green earth are you still there? 
If any nasty old guy EVER did that to me, I would have rented a trailer the same day loaded up more horses and left, even if i had to keep them in my garage! If you are so attached to this mare buy her and get out. Bottom line is you are still giving him business and a reason to beable to touch you. I hate to be mean but this is unbelievable... when i read the start of this thread i was sick to my stomach. Get your horses out. Pay for the mare. Report and and leave. In the mean time bring a guy out there with you (and one who looks like he can do damage)

Good luck!


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## Daisy25 (May 29, 2011)

OP--

I understand "perverted little old men"....and him able to sneak a grab the FIRST time should have clued you in to his character. Shame on him!

Any subsequent grabbing, groping, feeling, whatever? Shame on you!

You saw his character - and you didn't take steps to protect yourself IMMEDIATELY!

The only thing worse is letting it continue. You need to get away from this creep ASAP! There will be other horses and other barns....you don't need ANYTHING from this guy.

Be safe!!!


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## BlueSpark (Feb 22, 2012)

yeah, wow. you need out yesterday. The last person to smack my but was reported, if some one ever stuck their hand down my shirt?!!! They would be missing some teeth, or other body parts. You are asking for trouble. geld the stud, and be gone, with or with out the mare.


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## Daisy25 (May 29, 2011)

Nuala said:


> When it first started it was more joking but I guess now Im going to have to keep my knife on me whenever Im out there just in case.


IMHO--

I'm sorry, but there is NO WAY that this kind of behavior can be considered "just joking". 'Just joking' is a phrase manipulators like to use because it makes you think that YOU must be the one who is wrong.

There are an awful lot of steps in between "doing nothing" and "bringing a knife" - you can stand up for yourself perfectly well without resorting to assault.

NEVER accept that kind of treatment from ANYBODY!

Learn to demand respect without resorting to violence.

Just my $.02


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## aspin231 (Mar 20, 2010)

I became the 'black sheep' in my family for speaking up about unwanted sexual advances of a 'creepy old man,' and though he was a well-respected member of the community, after I said something (which took a lot of courage to do), there were quite a few others who came out of the woodwork about the same thing, same person. 
Who knows how many times he has done this to other people and gotten away with it due to the controlling circumstances? SAY SOMETHING. Tell the authorities.
He had NO RIGHT to touch you without consent- don't let him get away with it. You are NOT to blame here, as some have suggested- *it was HIS responsibility to conduct himself properly.* 
Now that you know what he's like, please report it. At the very least, the authorities will have a chat with him, and he'll know there's a record for it- hopefully that deters him.
Find somewhere else for your horses. I also like the suggestion of a third-party 'interested' in the mare, before you leave.
Please protect yourself. And don't tolerate this, ever.


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## Alfie92 (Nov 8, 2011)

You said that you told your dad he put his hand down your top, why havent your dad gone round there and sorted him out!? If something like that happend to me and i told my dad my dad would go over there and kill him!

why are you even tolerating him? why are you letting him do it to you he obv thinks he can get away with doing it coz hes done it more than once. You need to put a stop to it and tell me straight. 

And get your horse out of there now!


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## Nuala (Jan 2, 2012)

He offered a second time the other day while I was out there alone. I told him not going to happen and that I was working on getting my horses out he kindly and simply said "well i'm sorry to hear that" and he hasnt tried to speak with me since. Every time He moved closer I either stepped back or put myself in a position that he couldnt touch me without getting hurt and he stopped trying. 

I am NOT saying that its fine or ok now but it is a start to him behaving how he should and he has been told off by the other gal after he said I was coming on to him. She called BS and told him off about it. For now he is keeping his distance from all of us and if he tries again I will use it against him however I can so that he doesnt want to try with anyone again, or so the plan goes.

I am also training my stud to protect me although I honestly dont think there will be much "training" involved he is already very protective.


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## Nuala (Jan 2, 2012)

Alfie92 said:


> You said that you told your dad he put his hand down your top, why havent your dad gone round there and sorted him out!? If something like that happend to me and i told my dad my dad would go over there and kill him!
> 
> why are you even tolerating him? why are you letting him do it to you he obv thinks he can get away with doing it coz hes done it more than once. You need to put a stop to it and tell me straight.
> 
> And get your horse out of there now!


IDK why but he hasnt he is the first one that told me to pull my knife. Oh well I will handle it after all I am an adult a marines wife and a kick **** independent woman!


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## Rascaholic (Oct 4, 2010)

Nuala said:


> IDK why but he hasnt he is the first one that told me to pull my knife. Oh well I will handle it after all I am an adult a marines wife and a kick **** independent woman!


This just blows my mind.


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## Rascaholic (Oct 4, 2010)

aspin231 said:


> I became the 'black sheep' in my family for speaking up about unwanted sexual advances of a 'creepy old man,' and though he was a well-respected member of the community, after I said something (which took a lot of courage to do), there were quite a few others who came out of the woodwork about the same thing, same person.
> Who knows how many times he has done this to other people and gotten away with it due to the controlling circumstances? SAY SOMETHING. Tell the authorities.
> He had NO RIGHT to touch you without consent- don't let him get away with it. You are NOT to blame here, as some have suggested- *it was HIS responsibility to conduct himself properly.*
> Now that you know what he's like, please report it. At the very least, the authorities will have a chat with him, and he'll know there's a record for it- hopefully that deters him.
> ...


GOOD FOR YOU!! Silence is the perves best friend. They know most people are afraid of the hoopla it cause to speak out, and they use it to their advantage.


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## aspin231 (Mar 20, 2010)

Rascaholic said:


> Silence is the perves best friend. They know most people are afraid of the hoopla it cause to speak out, and they use it to their advantage.


This.
Also, that's why I did it. Yes, I was shunned for awhile. It was worth it.


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## Nuala (Jan 2, 2012)

Casey02 said:


> Well this makes no since to me..... you say she doesnt have a mean bone in her body, but will bite, pin her ears and do everything bad to ANY one but you. Hmmm
> 
> How on Gods green earth are you still there?
> If any nasty old guy EVER did that to me, I would have rented a trailer the same day loaded up more horses and left, even if i had to keep them in my garage! If you are so attached to this mare buy her and get out. Bottom line is you are still giving him business and a reason to beable to touch you. I hate to be mean but this is unbelievable... when i read the start of this thread i was sick to my stomach. Get your horses out. Pay for the mare. Report and and leave. In the mean time bring a guy out there with you (and one who looks like he can do damage)
> ...


YOur right i did phrase all of that wrong. He shows that she doesnt like them she has never actually bitten anyone but she will bite the lead and bulk. with me her head is low and she is walking dirrectly at my back with anyone she will lifter her head so they cant halter her, pin her ears (which isnt all the way against her neck but a lot farther back then she has ever gotten with me except when I first reintroduced the lunge whip, and pull away from them. She never kicks strikes out rears or rushes anyone even if she doesnt like them. I am however, as the main point was trying to get across, am the one she sees as her 'momma' for lack of a better term.

I am working on getting them out but I have no network here because we only moved back a few years ago and I have spent most of my time traveling elsewhere. I am getting in touch with some people and there is a place not to far from town that has an apartment and a horse shelter but I am waiting to hear back from them about the property details because once I leave 3 other people will as well and two of them want to be able to keep their horses with mine.

I'l keep everyone updated and yes I am being as safe as I can.


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## ChristineNJ (Jan 23, 2010)

So you are training a horse & not getting paid for it and you want him to give you the horse? That doesn't make sense. If you don't have a contract you will not get paid ever!! I would stop training the horse and leave ASAP. Have someone else buy the horse for you if you really want the horse. :smile:


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## Medh (Jan 14, 2012)

I still wanna punch his teeth in.....


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Medh said:


> I still wanna punch his teeth in.....


See I was wondering if you two were sisters/knew each other.. was just about to ask actually.

Teeth punching would just make your knuckles bleed and probably not do too much damage.. and possibly get you into a lot of trouble. Steel toed boots work much better. 

Or getting a man to stick up for her.

But seriously, what is your sister doing thinking she can handle this on her own? That's just what the dude wants her to do. Not bring in any help. We're not calling her weak or think any less of her for needing some help. She seems like a strong independent smart lady but that alone won't keep her safe! There are some freaky people out there that nothing but a good strong man with a threat to kick some major *** will protect you from it!

Tomb raider isn't real life.


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## Medh (Jan 14, 2012)

She doesnt go out there alone naymore if there is anyone else out there he leaves her alone. A little blood wont hurt  I'd much rather punch him int he face then have no one else believe her


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## hisangelonly (Oct 29, 2011)

....how do you train your horse to protect you? Curious... . 
Yeah forget about the mare unless you can have someone buy her for you. Your life/dignity/virtue is not worth the mare. That's some bs. Get out. ASAP. My parents and husband would have all been out there beating sense into him by now if that were me. Blows my mind that youre still there. Get them out. Surely there's another barn in your area? Be safe! Don't go out there alone you never know. Old men can be strong. They have good days when they take their meds (haha)!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## rascalboy (Jun 30, 2007)

Ok, so... you have a fiance so I'm assuming you're a grown woman right? But... you want to tell your parents? This just doesn't make much sense. Here's what you do: change barns. Simple as that. If you leave, he's not going to follow you. Crazy, right? 
If you're underage and saying 'fiance' because you think it's cooler than 'boyfriend', then tell your parents and then switch barns. There really are other barns out there, believe me.
And I have another idea: avoid the pervert. What a notion! Don't intentionally go by him! If you know he's a creeper, avoid him.


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## Nuala (Jan 2, 2012)

rascalboy said:


> Ok, so... you have a fiance so I'm assuming you're a grown woman right? But... you want to tell your parents? This just doesn't make much sense. Here's what you do: change barns. Simple as that. If you leave, he's not going to follow you. Crazy, right?
> If you're underage and saying 'fiance' because you think it's cooler than 'boyfriend', then tell your parents and then switch barns. There really are other barns out there, believe me.
> And I have another idea: avoid the pervert. What a notion! Don't intentionally go by him! If you know he's a creeper, avoid him.


I am engaged to a marine, yes I am a grown woman. Just because I am a grown woman doesn't mean I am shallow enough to not let my family know whats going on, I'm smart enough to know I shouldn't try to handle this on my own. The more people who know and keep an eye out the less he said she said it'l be when I do get out and report him.

Right now I am borrowing my family's cars and renting an apartment from them as it is cheap and we (my fiance and I) are trying to save as much as possible while he is in basic so that we can get the both of us moved once he has his orders. 

You obviously dont get that there really aren't barns around here. We live in the middle of ranch country most people have enough to worry about with their horses and cattle to worry about putting up someone else horses. I am looking for another place but at the moment it is either going to be giving up the partial lease and taking them with me or buying a property and spending a small fortune to fly up every couple of months and manage it while I pay someone else to look after my horses that are basically rescues to start with. 

I am not idly putting up with it I have 'band together' with two of the other boarders that have had issues with the guy. They are backing me for whatever may happen when we leave. We are also taking pictures of the property because NONE of the horses have been given tetanus shots and the property is kept in such poor conditions Im surprised they haven't been reported before.


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