# have you ever fired a trainer because you don't get a long?



## sprite911 (Apr 13, 2014)

I am assuming this is probably a no brainner for most people, and the answer should be obvious, but after spending every weekend since July to December trying to find a decent trainer and settling on one, the answer has me in a wreak.

I just put the horse into training a month and a half ago. The horse is finally settling and her willingness to participate is taking off. My options at this point is to pull her from training, move her to a barn that is closer to me, were the boarding is WAY cheaper until I find a 'better' trainer. In the mean time she will sit... and sit... and sit.. for who knows how long.

There are some other trainers I have in mind, but once again I will need to watch their lessons, spend lots of hours driving around and taking lessons.

When I first interviewed the trainer I picked, she told me the barn was laid back. It looked that way, none of the boarders have expensive taste, if they do everything is second hand and they lovingly care for their 'not quite perfect' 'horse style'.

SO that does not sound so bad, but recently I got a lecture about proper dressage tack, you see I told the trainer down the road I wanted to do dressage for fun, and I think this comment stuck in her brain like a hot needle. I just want to do it for fun, I see no problem using a western head stall with an added padded nose band for GREEN horse in training. I did my homework, the only difference between my hacky head stall and a dressage bridle is tradition.

Not soon after that lecture I found her in the isle striking up a conversation with another person regarding a brown dressage bridle, she commented that it was awesome, and how wonderful it is that dressage bridles can be found in colors other then black and white, going on about how silly 'Dressage tack' tradition was....

I can let that comment slide, I can deal with 'playing' this game and finding cheep as crap traditional bridal, but what really kicks me is the bit I have for my horse. It is a loose ring, two joint. My horse is okay with it, but my trainer hates it, she's been trying to sell me a bit that is a propritary bit sold only through an amway type catalog. She says she doesn't care if I go through her for it, but its a better bit for starting (sounds like and amway sales man, yes?). 

Cost is the issue, the bit is cheap, but I have a problem with the trainer not knowing the shipping cost, anywhere from 15-25$, and charging a commission on top. I CAN afford it, but I HATE spending money on things I might not need and I hate wasting money on companies that charge too much for shipping. The bit is a loose ring, with three links but a propriatry bean type link in the middle. I found a three ring with a bean, same millimeter, same width, but it isn't HER preferred starter bit...

I did a some research and realized that this style bit is a 'traditional' dressage bit, but I don't see why any other wide bean bit wont work. The bit she wants me to get can be found online, but I am feeling like I'm done playing her game. I feel there is nothing wrong with my bit, plenty of people start their horses in a bit like mine.

So the real question I have, is it okay to mess with my horse? She likes the trainer and is coming along really well. I put in a lot of work to settle on this trainer. Someone else might have a completely different style and I am not sure if that will mess up my horse.


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

It sounds as though you’ve got someone who is more interested in squeezing every dollar she can out of the situation rather than helping you achieve your goals. 

If that does not do anything, and your horse is in for 30-90 days, I would stick it out if you are getting the results you desire in your horse’s training. Nod, smile, and then do whatever the heck you want with regards to tack or bits. After that, find a new boarding barn. 

Remember that you are the client here, and it’s your horse. Don’t get caught up on whether this is a “better” bit, or if you “have” to get certain types of tack to do something for fun. The only “have to’s” in terms of tack are things that keep you and your horse safe and communicating- everything else is just a possibility. Tack NEEDS to fit right. It NEEDS to be comfortable for you and the horse. It NEEDS to do its job, and do it safely. It DOES NOT NEED to match, soothe someone else’s ruffled feathers, or keep with tradition if there’s no ribbons or judges to impress. You don’t need this lady’s approval to do something fun for you and your horse- and Western Dressage is also a thing now, if she hasn’t heard ;-). 

The fastest way to get my hackles up is trying to sell me something I know I don’t need and then using my animals as a leverage point. It’s underhanded and it smacks of caring about money more than satisfaction. A fast way to shut this down is “I am happy with the tack I have, thank you.” If she presses, perhaps it’s time to ask her if she doesn’t think she can do her job with the tools she has at hand.


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## palogal (May 30, 2008)

Seems like this trainer doesn't have the best PR, which is not unusual. Most of us don't have the best PR, honestly. Horses are much easier than people. So I would be inclined to let her comments slip if she's a good trainer. She really should keep her tack lectures to herself, she may not realize it's hurting her relationship with you. There is something to be said for proper tack but more importantly is safe tack. If she has a safety concern, that's a different animal. I will mention to a client that 'dressage tack has x, y and z.' for their general information, not a lecture.

As for the bit, does she have one she can use to start the horse? Or some other bit she likes? It's really not on you to buy it, she should have it if it's her 'preferred bit'. All trainers have an arsenal of training stuff that is their favorite stuff. I have several copies of my preferred starting bit because generally, after the owner sees how the hose goes, they want it and buy it from me. So, I keep a few of them around for that purpose. That's their option though, I don't push them into it.

So, in short, it seems there is a communication problem. She needs to buy or use the bit and show you how it works and give you the option of buying it from her or doing what you want to do.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

Yes, I have fired a trainer. Not for not getting along with me, he was very agreeable but for doing the exact opposite of what I asked. I have a very talented Arabian (stallion then, gelding now) and I wanted him started Western Pleasure so that we could go show that particular discipline. This trainer is 5+ hrs from me, but has an excellent reputation for being THE guy to start your horse, kind, soft, gentle, ya ya ya. 

I drove up to watch him train one day, didn't get to see a lesson because it was colt that day and they cancelled on him, but I watched him work 7 or 8 horses. Discussed VERY thoroughly what I wanted, told him what I did and didn't allow and that the horse had certain cues and commands and made arrangements for bringing the horse up in a week when he'd have an opening. 

I went up a couple of times to visit the horse, watched him be ridden and everything was going very well. Our first show was coming up and I went up to take a lesson so I could learn the trainer's particular ways of asking for things. 

First hint of trouble: He gave me my lesson on a lesson horse in the round pen. I didn't complain too much about the horse because if you want to know how to do something and how it should feel, ride the horse who knows, right? I HATE riding in a round pen, and most of the time I will not do it. I gave in because the guy was very sweet about asking and I humored him. Stupid. Anyhow, so we did that and I watched him ride my horse and when he was done I went to get on him. 

Second hint that this may not be "my" trainer: He told me he didn't want me to ride my horse because I might mess him up. Ummmmmm, is that not what I'm paying you $1000 a month to do? Teach the horse AND me AND fix anything I screw up? He was adamant so I let him get away with it. Stupid X 2. At that point he told me that I would not be "allowed" to ride my horse because the horse needed to be entered into the futurity and shown at Regions & Nationals, by him. HMMMMMMMMM

Training hint: Trainers and horses are a lot alike. Don't let either one get away with anything or pretty soon, they are running all over you. 

Third Hint that maybe I had made a mistake: We go up to our very first under saddle show and are told we may not handle our own horse while we're there. Say WHAT? We've been showing and "handling" this horse since he was less than 24 hrs old. Get the heck out of town. I was about to EXPLODE and DH knew it, so he got trainer aside and advised him that he was making a very serious mistake trying to get between me and my horse and unless he wanted the horse to be headed back down the same interstate we'd just come north on, he'd best change that little edict. He gave in on that one. Smart him. 

Hint #4 that I may have royally screwed up: We showed the horse halter, won every class no problem. Then come the under saddle classes. I had told him I wanted the horse in every under saddle class they had that he was qualified for. I think there may have been 8, it was a 4 day double show Region qualifier. I believe in 'sweaty blankets' as a real good way to gain experience. Find out horse is in 2 classes because the trainer didn't want to "stress him out". This isn't a green show horse dangit....he's been showing since he was weaned! He's already a 2X Nat'l champ in Main Ring USN and Sport Horse Nat'ls, for the love of G-d! What's done is done, can't enter more without paying hefty late entry fees. 

The last straw, 5th Hint that I had utterly and completely misread this Jackalope Trainer: It comes time for the under saddle classes and they're showing back to back and mixed, so Hunter Pleasure Open, Western Pleasure Open, Hunter Pleasure Green, Western Pleasure Green, Hunter Pleasure Jr Horse, WP Jr horse, HP Gents to Ride, WP Gents to Ride, and so on. So we go settle in to watch some classes, not expecting the horse until the 2 class, WP Open. Can you imagine how hard my jaw hit the floor of that arena when out comes MY HORSE and MY TRAINER in HUNT KIT for the hunter class? 

Do you have any idea how close I came to going to jail that night? Yeah, I fired his butt.

So for your particular situation, I would take her aside, tell her that she was welcome to use whatever of her equipment would help her accomplish the goals I had set her for my horse but that I would not be buying any new tack, period. Shut the door very firmly. If she brings it up again, after having told her NO clearly and firmly, then I would remind her that we'd had this discussion before, my mind hadn't and wouldn't change and if we had the discussion again, I'd be looking for another trainer.


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## Spellcheck (Sep 13, 2012)

I agree with the above comments.

If your trainer can't train your horse with the tack you have, she's not the trainer for you. Especially if you're just starting her in Dressage, I don't see why your basic snaffle would be a problem. In just about any discipline, even western, a basic snaffle is all you need to start. What does it matter what kind of headstall is holding the bit, or brand your bit is? 
It's not the quality of the tack that matters, in my opinion, but the quality of the riding/training. 
If you horse is comfortable and used to the tack she's in, changing could actually make training more difficult, because your horse will need a bit of time to adjust to the different feel of the new bridle/bit before settling back into her usual swing of things.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I too fired a trainer. Horse was very respectful when he went. Trainer told me horse wouldn't move unless following A pail of oats. Hello, the horse knew nothing of being ridden. Over an hours drive to see what was going on. The saddle was jamming the shoulder blades. I offered to send a saddle that would be a much better fit, which he declined. I went into the paddock to say horsey hello. When I moved to his side he moved into me. Within a few minutesI realized he'd become quite pushy. The horse came home. Once he was home most of the pushiness stopped but he still wanted to move into me. He was easy to move away. I don' know why but after a few weeks of this he got a resounding slap on the lower ribs with a leather glove. That fixed the issue. A friend later sent hr 3yr oldto this guy. Tragic ending.


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

As someone who had horses in for training I never had a horse removed before the job was done. 

I nearly always used my own tack from start to finish. I also made sure it fitted well. If I had a horse that was a bit fussy with its mouth I would find a bit it liked and when time to return would speak to the owner and suggest they purchased one.


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## BreezylBeezyl (Mar 25, 2014)

Oh boy...

First of all, to me that is unusual that she would want you to buy a bit. Every trainer I have ever been with has used their own tack: own bridles, own saddles, own bits, and the list goes on. If she wants to train your horse in this bit so badly, she can buy it herself.

Although if I were you, I would also be saying to her "My horse goes fine in his/her bit that I am currently using. Please continue training in this until it is necessary, training wise, to move up" (ie, in dressage this would be moving up to a double bridle for example).

My very first trainer/riding instructor was the type that palogal mentioned: the ones that see you as a money dispenser. From personal experience, these are not the kind of people you want to surround yourself with for several reasons. Not only will they take you for every last penny you have (many of these people are genuine con-artists), but they will take advantage of you. 

When I was a greenie, my trainer took advantage of my lack of knowledge at every opportunity. Instead of enlightening and informing me as her pupil to become a better horsewoman and rider, she kept me at arm's reach as someone inferior to herself and kept me that way. The less I knew, the more I was dependant on her and the more easily she could walk all over me.

She once convinced me to buy a faux western show saddle for $900. It was poorly made, did not fit my horse (although she did a good job of convincing me it did), the leather was just atrocious, falling apart, and was not even the same colour throughout. It wasn't even a show saddle, it was a barrel racing saddle with fancy silver on it. Months later when I was trying to sell it, I discovered it was a California Saddle Co saddle (very cheap company who does not make good saddles) and the saddle itself only retailed for about $350. She had scammed me for almost $600.

My trainer was also a breeder of Morgan horses, and has a good track record in the show ring (she runs a show barn). I never owned one of her horses and was probably one of the very few individuals at our barn who didn't. I believe because of this, she never took me seriously. She never wanted to invest time into me as a student because I wouldn't be showing one of her fancy expensive horses someday. I did mention to her in the future I wanted to buy one of hers (because I felt pressured to), and then she started being kinder and more informative with me. I had asked her several times over the course of three months to train my QH mare, and she never got back to me with an answer. The day I informed her I would be taking my horse off of the property because I found a trainer elsewhere, she immediately emailed me and said "Oh, I would be happy to train your horse for you!".

To her I was just a customer who paid her bills and then some, but she was unwilling to invest in me.

Keep in mind that was all back when I was very new to riding and horse ownership. I didn't know how to fit a saddle, what to look for in terms of brands, etc. They always say to ask a professional for help, so I did - except that I never got anything short of yes or no answers and incredible pressure to be what my trainer wanted me to be.

This was all especially difficult for me emotionally because I was new to the horse world. I needed people around me to help me and build my confidence in something so new to me. My trainer did none of these things. In fact, I was afraid to ask this woman questions as she would always belittle me.

I do appreciate the time I spent with her though, because she reminded me that I do not need to be treated that way. Now when I approach trainers/instructors, I go in with the mindset that I am their VALUED customer/client and they should treat me that way one hundred percent. I pay THEIR bills, end of story.

I am currently at a new barn and have a fantastic relationship with my new BO. She has never once made me feel uncomfortable or belittled for asking questions. She builds me up and helps me out greatly. She only has her level one coaching certification, which is not nearly as great of a credential as what my show-barn instructor had, but she has way better people skills (and is still a great rider!).

My mare was recently injured and I asked my BO for advice ("When do I need to take her to the vet?"). After we gave her some bute and she improved, my BO said "I would cancel your appointment as she is getting better, and call the vet later if it does not improve." Well, I decided to take her to the vet anyway but my BO just said "Sound good!". Because she realizes this is MY horse and it's MY decision. She knows I greatly value her opinions but in the end I am the decision maker, and she respects this. She doesn't put up a fight or becomes condescending.

For me, I don't care what kind of work my other instructor could have done with my horse... She could have made my mare into a champion, but I don't care. The oppression I was dealing with outweighs my horses training by far. I need to be comfortable working with my instructor, too.

Long story short, OP... Just be wary. I think you are already sensing a gut feeling from this and you should probably follow it.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Why is the horse with this trainer? If it is for rather short term training-and, as you have said-the trainer is making progress with the horse-I personally would leave it. I really think you are being overly sensitive to what the trainer is saying about tack, and would let it go in one ear and out the other AS LONG AS THE TRAINER AND HORSE ARE PROGRESSING. I also agree that most trainers use their own stuff, not yours. If she is suggesting a bit, I would be asking what the difference is, and why, and has she got one she can try on the horse to see if there is a difference//, rather than getting defensive about it, which it sounds like you are. I have sort of been in this situation, as I sent my grade QHX to a high class show barn for reining training. I had a less expensive, used saddle, bit, etc. Mine was never even used, nor was it there for a couple of months, since I was asked not to ride for at least 6 weeks, then have lessons on my horse with the trainer once a week. Worked for me, as I was paying him for his knowledge and I wanted to learn. When he suggested a new bit, the one they were using on him, I had no issues with that, and he helped me find a used one that was $350, not $600. 

I have to say, I personally would not think of doing an english discipline in western tack, but that is just me. They are constructed differently for a reason. Dressage saddles sit you more correctly for that discipline. Yes, there is western dressage, but there is a saddle for that also.

I think you need to figure out why the horse is there. If it is to learn, and this trainer is making progress-that is what is important, not your feelings. JMHO.


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## palogal (May 30, 2008)

On the flip side of this, I have also cut a client loose for being a pain. If the client is hiring me, she's hiring me for my training program, buying my product, technically. He/she is not buying ME. So, I expect the client to do as I suggest. As I said, I have several of the bits I use to start horses and I use all of my own tack until the owner starts riding and then we will use whatever the owner wants, as long as it fits. 

Point is, consider carefully....especially if the trainer is making progress with your horse.


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## sprite911 (Apr 13, 2014)

I had a nice post written in reply but apparently the form software is lacking in many nice features, like remembering form data... ugg honestly it's two built in php functions.. how lazy.

Anyway, the comments people have given me have helped to sort out my thoughts. 

Before I can make any decision I will have to ask my trainer some questions that she has been evading, like WillowNightwind I feel my trainer is blowing me off.

As a personal rule I do not interrupt her when she is in training other people. I have tried talking to her when she is between lessons but have found its not an appropriate time either, she isn't in a good mental state to communicate and tends to give short answers. I haven't decided if she realizes what she is doing, is she absent minded or dose she blow me off? It could be a bit of both, as we don't really mesh, we don't hate each other but she has that 'passive aggressive' Minnesota attitude that I have come to recognize as a way of saying, 'we will never get along, buzz off'.

There are a few other things I am concned about which I have left out. The comments here have helped me recognize that I need to corner her. That sounds bad, but I tried to ask the questions in a smart way and all I have gotten are short one liners. I need to point that out, tell her I am not saticfed with her answers and she needs to explain her thoughts, not just tell me the outcome.

I have lessons on the weekends, they really haven't been what I have needed either, she does a new lesson for the horse, not a lesson for me, not a training update, just, 'Hi thanks for showing up, let me have your horse, I will work on this new thing and then you can try it out'. 

This weekend there wont be a horse in my lesson as the horse has been a distraction for my trainer. I usually bring my horse in but I think it would be best if I left her in the pasture.


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## Regula (Jan 23, 2012)

sprite911 said:


> She likes the trainer and is coming along really well.


This would be the one single most important point for me.

I can understand it irks you that she is trying to sell you stuff, but if you otherwise like the service she provides, then I'd let her know that you are not buying new tack, and if she wants to use anything else than your tack, she'll have to provide it. That should stop the nagging.

I don't have to be friends with a trainer, but I am looking for a professional relationship with good communication. I would take my horse out of training at the point where the relationship is so bad that either the horse gets worse treatment or the communication does no longer work.

In Dreamcatchers case, I probably would have been a lot less patient and loaded up my horse and left at the point where he told me I can't ride my own horse...


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

Regula said:


> In Dreamcatchers case, I probably would have been a lot less patient and loaded up my horse and left at the point where he told me I can't ride my own horse...


My problem there was, we were within 2 weeks of the first show, then immediately after came Regional Championships. I had already invested $1000/month for several months, I wasn't going to pull him then. He loaded onto our trailer after Regions and came straight home. We showed without a trainer at Nationals. I was thoroughly p*ssed to have to ride Hunt seat when I had specifically asked him to train the horse Western. We won at Regions, so at least he was trained well, if not in the discipline I wanted. He now does Western Pleasure and is learning Western Dressage, so it's all good now. Really gave me a wake up call about trusting a trainer though, I'll never do it again.


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## BreezylBeezyl (Mar 25, 2014)

(I apologize because I'm going to go a little off here.)

In my opinion there are too many trainers out their who do not run their business like a business. And it drives me absolutely so far up the wall I'd give Spiderman a run for his money.

These types of horse trainers are also good people trainers, and not in a good way. They usually have a sense of entitlement because they can train horses well, and so clients put up with their bad behaviour because 'wow, this person can ride!'

Would you do that with your _horse_? Would you put up with your horse's really terrible ground manners because it rides well under saddle or vice versa? If you do that then you are making excuses instead of fixing the problem, and your horse ends up pushy and spoiled.

Sound familiar?

Personally, in my honest opinion, if a trainer does not treat me with the same respect they treat my horse then they don't deserve my time or money. For me, training the horse and the owner goes hand in hand. I wouldn't hire a trainer with the greatest track record in the world if they treated me like garbage.

Because these are people you are supposed to look up to. They are your superiors, but are also supposed to be respected mentors. Too many of them take 'superior' too far and anything to do with respect disappears. I know I certainly don't respect someone who is condescending and belittling, no matter how good they are with horses. Period.

The OP sounds stressed. Stress is the whole reason this thread exists, probably. If I can identify something that gives me stress I seek to get rid of it asap, because no one person should have that kind of power over me.

Again though, this is really all my opinion. I just don't have the personality to deal with people like this, although some might not be bothered. It really depends on the kind of person you are.

OP I say if this is becoming a stress-point in your life, you should reconsider finding another trainer who can work with both your horse and you with success. I'm sure this isn't the only trainer out there who is decent at what they do. :wink:

If you don't want to pull your horse out of training, then you shouldn't ignore what's going on. Approach the trainer and, like you would with your horse, make is very clear what you want and expect from this person if you want a lasting, professional relationship.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

OP-why do you say you have to "corner" the trainer? To me, that starts out with the wrong attitude-a confrontational one. Why not ask for a good time to meet? Tell her you have concerns, and wold like a meeting. You know-like you would with ANY business. You could go so far as to suggest your "lesson" time if she sas she doesn't have time to meet. 

You do it your way, and you better have your trailer with you. Said trainer may just tell you to take the horse and go, which would, IMO be a loss, since you do say this trainer is making good progress.


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## LPH (Nov 1, 2014)

WillowNightwind said:


> (I apologize because I'm going to go a little off here.)
> 
> In my opinion there are too many trainers out their who do not run their business like a business. And it drives me absolutely so far up the wall I'd give Spiderman a run for his money.
> 
> ...


I couldn't agree with you more! Horse training is every bit as much of a people business as it is a horse business. Run it as such. If I worked at a burger joint, I would never ask a paying customer to buy my new spatula! Suggesting a new bit is one thing but pressing the matter to the point that the client is uncomfortable is unacceptable.

Talk to the trainer and let her know how you feel. If things don't change, then I would move your horse. I would never treat a client the way you've been treated. Those clients pay my bills and they are paying customers who should he treated as such.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BreezylBeezyl (Mar 25, 2014)

franknbeans said:


> OP-why do you say you have to "corner" the trainer? To me, that starts out with the wrong attitude-a confrontational one. Why not ask for a good time to meet? Tell her you have concerns, and wold like a meeting. You know-like you would with ANY business. You could go so far as to suggest your "lesson" time if she sas she doesn't have time to meet.
> 
> You do it your way, and you better have your trailer with you. Said trainer may just tell you to take the horse and go, which would, IMO be a loss, since you do say this trainer is making good progress.


I obviously can't speak for the OP, but I think by 'corner' they meant exactly what you were saying - setting up a meeting where the two of them can hash things out. 'Cornering' being the word used because it seems like the trainer isn't giving the OP the time of day, ever, and this meeting is a last resort. Seems like the trainer is the one being confrontational by giving the OP the vibe of, "I don't have time for this" at all hours of the day.

I have a feeling like if things end badly, it's because the trainer is used to being able to walk all over people and the OP actually stood up to her. I also have a feeling like the trainer is going to react badly no matter what type of approach the OP takes (passive or aggressive), since any sort of confrontation doesn't usually settle well with people who are used to getting whatever they want, when they want.

I realize I am starting to sound really jaded. Probably because I am. The biggest pet peeve of mine is people (not just trainers) like this, who just show absolutely no respect for anyone but demand it from everyone.

Once burned...


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## sprite911 (Apr 13, 2014)

franknbeans said:


> OP-why do you say you have to "corner" the trainer?


Wrong chose of words - as WillowNightwind said.

I wont be bringing her a laundry list of gripes like I've been dragging around a bunch of baggage. As far as I know everything I have problems with are MY problems, not her's. You can't have a problem _with_ someone unless you tell them what's bothering you. 

My goal is to open a dialog, but without other distractions, I tried talking with her last weekend during the lesson but the my horse was testing her and I didn't want to distract her. I would rather her focuses on the horse then get run over because I was distracting her with my questions.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

sprite911 said:


> Wrong chose of words - as WillowNightwind said.
> 
> I wont be bringing her a laundry list of gripes like I've been dragging around a bunch of baggage. As far as I know everything I have problems with are MY problems, not her's. You can't have a problem _with_ someone unless you tell them what's bothering you.
> 
> My goal is to open a dialog, but without other distractions, I tried talking with her last weekend during the lesson but the my horse was testing her and I didn't want to distract her. I would rather her focuses on the horse then get run over because I was distracting her with my questions.


I think your plan to show up without your horse and to tell her you want to spend your lesson time discussing your concerns and working on them, and paying for the lesson time, is an excellent one.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

When I consulted a well respected trainer he wanted the horse for two months to the tune of $1500. It's a twh which isn't trained like a qh. These horses need miles put on them. After a lengthy discussion I concluded this guy knew nothing of training walkers. I didn't want him creating a false headset. Showing was not my intention but trail riding.


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## jackboy (Jul 8, 2012)

Just another reason of the 55 million I've heard that keeps my training my own


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## STT GUY (Apr 23, 2014)

Most disappointment and mistakes in life arise from errant assumptions and poor communication of expectations. 

I have let a trainer go. He was and is a great guy, we just do not communicate effectively. He is a very good trainer, just not the right trainer for ME. Its funny, because I was honest with him in explaining my concerns and he was the one who first suggested that we might not be the best fit.

In my experience we as humans put off anything uncomfortable and potentially confrontational. I'm one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet, but I refuse to be less than 100% honest with the people I do business with. We're all human so we all make mistakes...I have never owned a pencil where I didn't wear out the eraser before the lead so I give folks plenty of opportunity to meet my expectations. However sometimes it's just not going to happen for whatever reason. 

In any relationship... Set expectations (goals) and standards of performance BOTH parties agree to and do this in writing. Regularly examine the progress towards these SOPs and goals. Try to remove emotion from the equation, they might be the nicest trainer ever...but if they are not helping you reach your goals, your just paying for companionship.


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## ForeverSunRider (Jun 27, 2013)

We have never had to fire a trainer but we've had 3 quit on us.

My mother's late horse, Zeus, was too much to handle for them I guess.

He was a 16.2 fleabitten grey Thoroughbred gelding and he was naughty - borderline dangerous.

He threw/charged/bit/kicked all the other trainers. He straight up broke one's leg and arm. Thank GOD they didn't sue us!

So...yeah. He became a pasture puff because he was super gentle on the ground and loved scratches but despite having no ailments, and being tattooed and trained for steeplechase he didn't like anyone on his back.

So he was a pasture puff until he died at 32.


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

To me there are trainers and there are instructors. Trainers are horse people who train horses, instructors are people who teach people. They are two different skill sets. There are some great people who are both and they are ideal, they are also often expensive and busy, and they can afford to be choosy too. 

If you've hired her to train your horse and she's doing that well then I'd be happy with that. Let her train your horse and then pick it up in a month or two or whatever you have organised and then take it to a barn with a great instructor and then have your good horse. 

Tell her she can use her bit or your bit or whatever, training should be universal. People have their likes and dislikes. I like the special brand of rope halter and lead I buy, I would hate to do ground work with any other halter regardless of the horse. Other halters are just as good, there are probably better ones out there, but this is the way I do things. People have their own way of doing things and that works for them. 

It sounds like she's bad at customer service and marketing. But she might be a horse person, not a people person or a business person. 

So work out what you're there for, and what you're willing to accept.


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