# Is this good so far? (:



## Iridethatcrazylazypony (Nov 25, 2014)

I am writing a story about this girl named Megan. (I might change the name) She has a very horsey family and her family owns fifteen great horses, but one day when her dad takes her to a horse auction to have a look, they see this beautiful (they think) stallion who is very wild, abused and hates people. :runninghorse2: He looks a little like that except he's skinny and stuff. Megan takes a liking to him and his dad refuses to buy him at first, but Megan convinces him to buy the horse. Megan and the horse (his name is Wildfire) spend a lot of time together, training the horse and feeding it (re-breaking it in as my instructor calls it) to turn it into a great horse. Then one day Wildfire is stolen from the yard along with three other horses. Megan is very upset and doesn't ride at all, or even go up to see the horses. She was watching horse racing on TV when she noticed Wildfire was on the track, being beaten hard with the whip and the saddle is ill-fitting and all. He wasn't doing well and Megan was panicked, already getting her parents to race the horse box down and rescue Wildfire. Wildfire had collapsed on the track with a broken leg (not a very severe break though) as he was still quite weak and wasn't going to make it... then Megan came. The horse's spirit rose and he made it through an operation to fix the bone before everything went happily ever after.

Do I need to work on the plot or is it fine? Should I change any names?


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## Chokolate (Nov 24, 2012)

It seems as though it could definitely be good!

One think to think about is that the storyline appears very cliché, and has been done several times before (especially the beginning and the end). That's not necessarily a bad thing - but it does mean that through your writing, you have to make it especially interesting and unique.

In terms of plot: there are ways you can make it more engaging and active. For example, instead of having Megan see Wildfire on television, have her win tickets to go to the races and she can see him in person. Instead of having her parents help, get her to sneak out of the house after she's been banned from leaving. Those little things make all the difference to a storyline 

Names are unimportant in the writing of a story, but I would personally change "Wildfire" because it is also a bit clichéd. Don't overdo convention!

Good luck, and please post your writing for us to read, if you want to.


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