# Coaching Question



## AussieEventwr (12 mo ago)

Hi all. I have a general coaching question- I’ve been riding as an adult for a few years after a long break from pony club etc as a kid. I’ve been at the same barn on the same school horse. Recently my coach who is generally fantastic and competes herself in eventing, has begun riding her horses at the same time as my lessons eg in the arena. So instead of getting a full/attentive lesson, she is busy with her own horse/s. She does ride over to give feedback but I feel as it’s here and there and inconsistent, I am struggling to progress and getting frustrated. I would love to hear anyones feedback about how to address this- generally when I actually get proper “lessons” and she is a present coach she is great! Nothings changed like the time of my lesson or any sort of agreement, I still pay for a full hours “lesson” price even though I’m not getting it. Would love any thoughts on what to do!


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

I would schedule time to sit down and talk with her, when she's not on a horse or giving a lesson, when you can have her full attention. Then you need to let her know that you're getting very frustrated with your lack of progress. Since you're paying for a full hour, private lesson, you'd really appreciate it if she would devote that hour solely to you. Lessons aren't cheap, and if you're getting frustrated that means you'll do one of 2 things. You'll either quit riding altogether or you'll find another barn. Both things result in a lack of income to her, if she's any kind of businesswoman at all, she'll sit up and take notice. 

She may feel you're at a point where you need to just work on the things she's told you, to put miles on you and that you don't need her constant input. If you're feeling differently about that then she needs to know. When I ride, my coach is frequently on another horse, but I've never felt like she wasn't watching and paying attention to me. Sometimes she'll set me an exercise and let me have at it and then correct where I'm not right or she'll see me struggling, stop me and tell me to try going at it from this approach to make it fall into place. If that's not what's happening and you don't feel you're getting what you're paying for, then you need to speak up.


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## horselovinguy (Oct 1, 2013)

Good input from dream.... 
_Its time for a discussion..._
People get "comfortable" and lax in what they offer unless woken up to, "Hey, you're not keeping your end of the agreement." 

For me, personally if I am paying for your time to teach, watch, educate me during my lesson, then that is what you need to be doing.
Not riding any horse _unless_ we are working on ring etiquette, what to do in situations or riding on a actual trail learning how-to do that...
No riding, no playing/talking on the phone, texting or watching videos....
_I am paying for your time, your attention to be concentrating on me...._
It is your dime being spent...it is you who realistically determines how that dime is spent and how much it was worth to you.

_You also say same horse for lessons, but how long has the same horse been ridden by you?
How many months of lessons same old, same old?_
I would also be wondering if some of your "stagnant" is because of what you are riding... 
Again, we all grow complacent and to familiar when nothing changes...
The fact you feel like you are not progressing, just going through the motions and paying...
Makes me wonder if a different horse to ride may spark a more involved set of eyes teaching you, you being not so complacent would also jump-start the upward curve of learning again...
Or...is it time to move on to a new barn or instructor if this is not remedied...
You are paying for a service and are *not* a happy consumer...time for some fixing, altering to that recipe.
🐴..... _ jmo..._


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## QtrBel (May 31, 2012)

It isn't unusual for a an instructor to be on a horse during lessons here. Especially with more advanced riders. Usually horse needs ring time with other horses, is being worked on the same exercises or an exercise is given to the students while the instructor works on something else. They are not on an animal that will do the unexpected and yes their attention is divided but they are paying attention. The exercise given to the students is one they just need to repeat to be proficient and are at a level or don't need 100% attention 100% of the lesson.


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## Horsef (May 1, 2014)

Good advice above.

It could well be that you need more hours in the saddle without actually doing anything new. Or exposure to riding with other horses. Or to ride more independently but with someone there to help out if you get into trouble. All of these need to be done by a student to advance to next levels. Or the horse is not capable of going further.

But you will not know unless you ask, in a polite and non-confrontational manner.

Just to give you an example, my instructor did the same for a little while, rode her other horses while I was riding. Then she would let me warm up on my own. Then she would let me ride fully on my own but she was within earshot. Eventually she made me go on trails on my own. All of these steps helped me a lot. 

Obviously, this depends on your riding level and what exactly you are paying for. If you are an advanced rider paying to learn how to do a pirouette - nope, they need to be fully present. But if you are a novice rider/re-rider on the cusp of leveling up - you need some independent riding under loose supervision. Ask her.


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## Magnum 59 (Oct 26, 2021)

Just sit down and ask her about it. Say that you are a little concerned that she is riding another horse and doesn't have her full attention on you yet you still pay the same price. Perhaps ask about the reasoning behind this decision. Ask if it is benificial to you? And mabye ask that in future you don't mind her riding another horse during your lesson provided you get a discount for it. Also speak to some other clients her if possible and ask what level they are abd if the instucter rides during their lesson to.


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## AussieEventwr (12 mo ago)

Hi all- wow some really great and helpful points, thank you so much!

It's really helpful to hear that it isn't altogether unusual- as a few have mentioned, I am probably at that level now where I am able to be more independent and have a lot to work on. I am riding twice a week (in these "lessons" where she is around riding but not sort of fully teaching) so perhaps part of it is just getting more hours/saddle time. I have seen less experienced riders who are getting full lessons (as they need the supervision) and more experienced riders who have their own horse and are getting a full lesson and therefore improving their showjumping/eventing etc... perhaps as I am somewhere in between (and don't have my own horse yet), I am sitting in that limbo in between. I will aim to have a polite conversation and maybe try and set some goals or work out what she thinks I need to do to feel like I am progressing.


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## AussieEventwr (12 mo ago)

horselovinguy said:


> Good input from dream....
> _Its time for a discussion..._
> People get "comfortable" and lax in what they offer unless woken up to, "Hey, you're not keeping your end of the agreement."
> 
> ...


Really good point as well, thank you horselovinguy.

I think as you mentioned, some of it is perhaps that I'm on a school horse who I have ridden for close to 2 years (who she knows doesn't need constant supervision). You are also spot on you when you mention "going through the motions and paying" as that's exactly what it feels like. I'm hoping to get my own horse this year and I think maybe upon reflection some of it could be that she is a little complacent as a coach because essentially until I have my own horse, she feels I'm not necessarily moving up/progressing e.g. I just continue to show up and ride each week. A lot of helpful points raised and I think perhaps a conversation about goals/where I want to go is necessary- lately it feels like I'm paying lesson prices just to exercise the schoolhorse 😬


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

AussieEventwr said:


> lately it feels like I'm paying lesson prices just to exercise the schoolhorse 😬


I don't think that's something you need to worry about. Any school horse more than pays for their upkeep with rides. Never seen one that needed a student to ride and exercise it.


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## AussieEventwr (12 mo ago)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> I don't think that's something you need to worry about. Any school horse more than pays for their upkeep with rides. Never seen one that needed a student to ride and exercise it.


 I meant as a joke! Haha sorry perhaps Aussie humour. Yes she gets ridden a lot - I meant more how I felt about the situation felt like I was just exercising her (rather than actively learning)


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

With my instructor I very clearly state a difference "this is a lesson to school me" and "this is a ride to get out and you just be there in case something happens"  I know it must be hard for her to go over such basic things given her own training but this is a woman that really loves to see progress and help horse and student. She only despairs when clients dont practice. Lessons like the one you're having right now are cheaper in the yards that I know that offer them. I've had a problem where I've not been taken seriously because I didn't have my own horse nor the desire to compete. Dead serious. I'm thankful for the instructors that were honest and turned me away. But, for some, once I got to a point or showed I was able to canter I received no more input on anything.

I've had three amazing instructors. All of them were like "yeah you can sit the gaits but that's where it ends" 😅 In fact my current one started me back on walk lessons! And there is SO much more I'm learning at a walk than I ever did in those years being at a riding school. But two of those instructors were at a riding school, one the owner of. My advice to you as a good compromise - the first 30mins of the lesson the instructor must be on the ground or in the middle schooling you. The last half hour is you practicing and them keeping an eye.

There's no other way around it but to discuss it. They might tell you "you just need hours"... well then you should be discounted because you're riding a horse not being schooled. And its DEFINITELY true you might be on a horse that isn't educated beyond what you know so there is no point. And for real, I know plenty instructors that are fine to teach basic walk trot and canter but either don't know or can't articulate anymore beyond that. And if they can, some lose the passion and get lazy. They are absolutely fine for what they teach but for riders that want to advance... well.

It might be worth travelling a bit further out and have some private lessons on a different yard and horse to see the difference. Figure out what it is you want.

ps. I'm like you. I need a defined checklist of things to practice for me to be comfortable practicing anything. It took me a long time to feel good enough to "school" little things without input.


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