# Help!! Need Advice



## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Are you boarding your horse?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

katbalu said:


> Are you boarding your horse?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 No, I have him at my house.


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Well, how much time do you have to ride?
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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

katbalu said:


> Are you boarding your horse?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_





katbalu said:


> Well, how much time do you have to ride?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I usually have about two to three hours during the week and mostly all weekend, but I have not ridden in a while because I have no one to ride with or spend time with. It really stinks when you all alone and having to try and figure it out the hard way.


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Yep. I know. Is it worth it to you to board your horse an hour away for a month or two and take lessons on your horse?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

katbalu said:


> Yep. I know. Is it worth it to you to board your horse an hour away for a month or two and take lessons on your horse?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't know. With gas as high as it is I don't think I could afford it. I hate to say that, but I don't even have a trailer. I'm just in a deep rut. Do I need to just say the heck with it? I thought I was going to get help from one or two horse people, but turned out one thought I was wasting their valuable time and cussed me out for no reason and the other doesn't know and understand my situation and therefore feels like they cannot help me anymore. I know I may be overanalysing this but I just feel like I need a close one on one relationship with someone that is close to town. I don't know what to do.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

There has to be some trainers that are willing to go to your barn to help you out.


Where are you located? If you don't mind me asking


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## LostDragonflyWings (Feb 1, 2012)

Hmmm. Maybe take the trek out to the stable an hour away and take a few lessons on their school horses? That will give you a little experience and then you can work with your horse a little more comfortably. It would be ideal to learn on your horse, but this sounds like the next best thing.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> There has to be some trainers that are willing to go to your barn to help you out.
> 
> 
> Where are you located? If you don't mind me asking


I live in East Texas. Texarkana, TX. There is just not a lot of horse trainers/ horse people around here unless im flipping over the wrong rock that theyre hiding under. Ha! There are no boarding stables here at all. Checked everywhere. The only ones are about an hour and some change way and I just don't have the time or money and a trailer to go that far.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Did a very quick google search

Horse Lessons in Texarkana Texas

And 

Texarkana
Huggins Farms; call: 903-832-4445
Route 9 Box 662, Texarkana, TX 75501; located in or by Bowie county 

I don't know if that's helpful but what you could do is ask local horse feed stores or advertise in them.


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Craigslist farm
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Also diamond d stables and ccw farms
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## themacpack (Jul 16, 2009)

OP - try contacting your local extension office -ask for the contact info of the local 4-H horse/pony leader. They will be a gold mine of information for all the "horsey" set in your area - may well point you in the direction of someone who can help you and your horse start building a better foundation to move forward on. You may even find someone who can help you overcome the transportation complication by working with you on-site (less common, but does happen). Or you might consider taking some lessons at a barn without having to take your horse along - learning on one of their BTDT lesson horses will give you a skill set (and confidence  ) that you can carry home with you to transfer to your work with your own horse.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

themacpack said:


> Or you might consider taking some lessons at a barn without having to take your horse along - learning on one of their BTDT lesson horses will give you a skill set (and confidence  ) that you can carry home with you to transfer to your work with your own horse.


I did this OP (which is really sound advice) with my greenie and it worked really well. It was only once a week too.


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Hey! Anything positive going on?
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## stevenson (Sep 12, 2011)

djcig..lots of good advice given to you. You should try one or two lessons.
Do you have an arena ? at first just go at a walk until both you and the horse move together. stay light on the horses mouth , use the pull and release methods . try to relax and enjoy the horse.


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

Where do you buy your horse feed and supplies from? Put up a wanted poster and see if you get any bites. You might just find someone who is an experienced rider but doesn't have a horse at the moment. But, please do get references before just setting in with a non-professional. From a previous barn, or trainer, not just friends.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> I did this OP (which is really sound advice) with my greenie and it worked really well. It was only once a week too.


 I think I may have found someone that may help me. He is in the Texarkana area and seems to understand my situation. Im praying that this time it will work for me. I want to meet new people and befriend others that are involved in horses, I feel kind of left out and strange by asking any horse person if I can join them without even knowing them. Thanks for your help and time for talking to me. Hopefully we can talk again.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

NorthernMama said:


> Where do you buy your horse feed and supplies from? Put up a wanted poster and see if you get any bites. You might just find someone who is an experienced rider but doesn't have a horse at the moment. But, please do get references before just setting in with a non-professional. From a previous barn, or trainer, not just friends.


I posted an ad on Craigslist for help and meet a gentleman on the phone and suppose to meet Monday. He has worked around horses his whole life and works with reining and cutting horses along with helping others to ride. Knock on wood, hopefully this is a second chance at riding again. I buy my horse feed at a local feed store in town known as Miller-Bowie. Thanks for helping me and talking with me. Hopefully we can talk about other things and help each other out.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

katbalu said:


> Hey! Anything positive going on?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 I think I found someone thats offering to help. He works with reining and cutting horses and also people to ride better. Im hoping that this may be a second chance at learning to ride better. I appreciate you taking the time and talking to me and helping me. Maybe we will meet again and talk to each other again. Thanks again for your help.

djcig


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

themacpack said:


> OP - try contacting your local extension office -ask for the contact info of the local 4-H horse/pony leader. They will be a gold mine of information for all the "horsey" set in your area - may well point you in the direction of someone who can help you and your horse start building a better foundation to move forward on. You may even find someone who can help you overcome the transportation complication by working with you on-site (less common, but does happen). Or you might consider taking some lessons at a barn without having to take your horse along - learning on one of their BTDT lesson horses will give you a skill set (and confidence  ) that you can carry home with you to transfer to your work with your own horse.


 Thanks for the advice. I think I may have found some help here locally. I pray that this time it will work out and can truly help me.  Thanks for taking the time talking to me. Hopefully we will meet again and talk to each other again?


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> I think I may have found someone that may help me. He is in the Texarkana area and seems to understand my situation. Im praying that this time it will work for me. I want to meet new people and befriend others that are involved in horses, I feel kind of left out and strange by asking any horse person if I can join them without even knowing them. Thanks for your help and time for talking to me. Hopefully we can talk again.


Of course  Feel free to shoot me a PM anytime. 

I hope this guy is the real deal. Make sure to talk a lot about horses with him and report back to us. Some people are wonderful, others are bad news. 

Fingers crossed for you!


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## Boots4ACowGirl (Apr 28, 2012)

I found my instructor at a western clothing store, she had posted her business card. I was in the same spot, love horses, had done some riding, and wanted to get better. My husband is an excellent horseman, not such a good teacher. I was looking for tack when I happened by the store's bulletin board. I was told there were no instructors in the area. She was 45 minutes away and yeah the gas prices sucked. I was determined to learn. I own two horses now and am very happy. Good luck.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

Just be careful and meet this guy out in a public place the first few times....K? Don't give up too much personal info.


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> Just be careful and meet this guy out in a public place the first few times....K? Don't give up too much personal info.


Yeah! Good advice, and let us know how it goes!! Bring a friend or two even.
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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

I would post something on craigslist there are other people that might have small boarding facilities at a house near you . I think the best way to learn is just to be around other people and if that's not possible I don't think you're being fair to yourself or your horse .


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## flytobecat (Mar 28, 2010)

I'm with Northern Mama on this. Talk to the folks at your local tack and feed store, ask if they know anyone who gives lessons. Also, ask if there riding clubs or arenas in the area that you could join.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

What I have suggested to people in your situation is to experiment. When riding at a walk, see how he responds if you stroke the rein with your little finger a few times. He will teach you what works with him. Use a snaffle bit for this. Stay to a walk. If you are apprehensive, then he too will be apprensive. Deep breaths are relaxing.


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## Joidigm (May 8, 2012)

One thing you will always find, true horse people are true horse people. I mean, I've moved 6 hours south of where I used to live. I thought this was a non horsey area because like.. theres no major public riding stables anywhere in an hours drive of here. Anyway, at work one day, this older man noticed (and recognized) my boots and asked if I ride horses, because, hey, they're horse boots! Well, hell yes I ride, but not now because I can't find horsey people! We got to talking, and he gave me his wifes number because she trail rides weekly with a group of ladies and between him and her they have like 6 horses. He can't ride anymore due to injury so invited me to exercise and put miles on their horses for them. Wow, he doesn't even know me and just invited me to ride his horses. I called his wife and stopped by one afternoon after work; she handed me a halter and described one of her horses she wished to see me interact with, and I was on my own. She kept an eye on me, but I just walked up to this mare, caught her with real ease (yay hay piles), brought her out to an open area, and lunged her, worked with her a little bit. Then I got to ride her. I mean, this lady didn't know me, but gave me free rein with one of her horses, let me ride her the first day, and we've been buddies since. I trail ride every week with her and her group if I can, and stop by on days I leave work early to ride for exercise.

Like I said, horse people are horse people, it's something easily bonded over, even between complete strangers. If you keep at it, and leave yourself open, you will find the connections you are looking for. :happydance:


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

It's like that movie "The Room"

We're attracted to one another  There's always a horse person lurking within 10 yards of us!


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## stevenson (Sep 12, 2011)

you need to be very very careful meeting someone on craigs list. You need to take some else with you, we would hate to see you on the evening news.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

stevenson said:


> you need to be very very careful meeting someone on craigs list. You need to take some else with you, we would hate to see you on the evening news.


Good Point. So far after dealing with four bad horse people already, they haven't done anything to me yet. Knock on wood!!


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> Good Point. So far after dealing with four bad horse people already, they haven't done anything to me yet. Knock on wood!!


Have you met this one yet?


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> Have you met this one yet?


 I will tomorrow. Not yet. I know this may sound dumb question. If this guy is for real, what do you think needs to be the first thing I need to get him to help me with if I want to just start over on everything? I am good at the walk, pretty much a no brainer on how to do that, I need to work on the trot since my horse is not gaited, he is hard to sit the trot. I want to compete and want a trainer for that to help me on that. I know it will take a while, but if I were a beginner with a horse and had little experience riding, what would you recomend me needing to know if you were the trainer? I noticed too that my horse allowed a guy that was cutting trees at me house to pet him on the face while I can't even get him to hold still long enough to love on him. His head was against this guy's chest wanting to be loved on and getting attention, while I can't even hardly touch him on the face. What do you think also maybe the case there? Do you think I need special training on how to properly handle horses or what? Im confused on this one.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

I would ask him to help with the basics. Go over basic ground work and then hop on and ask him to help you with improving your walk and asking your horse to trot. Ask him to help you through problems you are specifically having. 

But whatever you ask him, be sure to ask here so we can see if his advice is solid or if it's dangerous. I'm not babying you, I just don't want you to get into a dangerous situation.

The horse had a healthy respect for the man, and trusted him enough to let his face be touched.. even being a stranger.

You'll get there with your horse, I just think you need to start at the bottom and work your way up, filling all gaps in your horse's AND YOUR training. Okay?

That's what I would do, anyway. The less holes in training the better!


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

Do you think my horse needs some work too? I think he still sees me as a herd member, not really his leader a 100%. He does follow me around like a dog, but when it comes to his confidence while riding him, sometimes it stinks. He tends not to listen to me. He's a good horse, just fat and lazy.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> Do you think my horse needs some work too? I think he still sees me as a herd member, not really his leader a 100%. He does follow me around like a dog, but when it comes to his confidence while riding him, sometimes it stinks. He tends not to listen to me. He's a good horse, just fat and lazy.


Yes, certainly! I posted some tips (they're long winded so I'll just link you the thread) on things you can do to improve the relationship with your horse

1. Ground work
2. Bonding activities

http://www.horseforum.com/horse-training/any-advice-anything-please-123982/

When ever you are presented with the chance to improve your horse and yourself, take them both! They go together like PB&J. And with that, your relationship with him will improve and he will respect and trust you a lot more than he currently does.

There is a thick line between respect and bribing.


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Tell us about your lesson/ meeting!
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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

I posted a ad on craigslist for a riding partner and I met 3 awesome girls. A year later we still see each other and ride together. I got the idea from a person who posted for riding partners. You would be so surprised at the amount of people out there who want to ride with people and will reply to your post. Good luck.


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> I will tomorrow. Not yet. I know this may sound dumb question. If this guy is for real, what do you think needs to be the first thing I need to get him to help me with if I want to just start over on everything? I am good at the walk, pretty much a no brainer on how to do that, I need to work on the trot since my horse is not gaited, he is hard to sit the trot. I want to compete and want a trainer for that to help me on that. I know it will take a while, but if I were a beginner with a horse and had little experience riding, what would you recomend me needing to know if you were the trainer? I noticed too that my horse allowed a guy that was cutting trees at me house to pet him on the face while I can't even get him to hold still long enough to love on him. His head was against this guy's chest wanting to be loved on and getting attention, while I can't even hardly touch him on the face. What do you think also maybe the case there? Do you think I need special training on how to properly handle horses or what? Im confused on this one.


 
Some people are just natural with horses, my husband is like that. They come right up to him, they listen well when he tells them to move off. I'm completely jealous of him lol People are always saying a horse can read you like a book and I think its true they really catch the vibe off of you. My leadership skills need work and he is a true leader and horse know that. I've gotten so much better and they now come up to me, so it takes time, you will get there.


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

chandra1313 said:


> Some people are just natural with horses, my husband is like that. They come right up to him, they listen well when he tells them to move off. I'm completely jealous of him lol People are always saying a horse can read you like a book and I think its true they really catch the vibe off of you. My leadership skills ne
> ed work and he is a true leader and horse know that. I've gotten so much better and they now come up to me, so it takes time, you will get there.


My boyfriend is like that too. I'm jealous.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

katbalu said:


> Tell us about your lesson/ meeting!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 Sorry I have not replied in a while, been busy. I met with this guy and he seems to be the real deal. He trains and messes with reining horses and teaches younger people to ride and helps some people out with showing. I am very happy with him. I rode the horse around and showed him how he rode and noticed the horse did really well. He even has told me that he would pick me up and take me to the local arena and work with the horse on reining. Maybe the tables are starting to turn on this problem. So is there anything that I need to tell or ask him that Im not thinking about? He's older and has more experience than the other people.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Congrats!


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> Sorry I have not replied in a while, been busy. I met with this guy and he seems to be the real deal. He trains and messes with reining horses and teaches younger people to ride and helps some people out with showing. I am very happy with him. I rode the horse around and showed him how he rode and noticed the horse
> did really well. He even has told me that he would pick me up and take me to the local arena and work with the horse on reining. Maybe the tables are starting to turn on this problem. So is there anything that I need to tell or ask him that Im not thinking about? He's older and has more experience than the other people.


Just make sure he's trustworthy before you hop in the car. As for everything else, you'll learn it in time 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

ALSO....I'm very happy that things are looking up! See how different the view is when you've got some hope? I'm very exited for you. I hope you keep us (at least me!) posted as to how things are going. I'm very new too, so it helps me to hear good progress stories.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

New updates?


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

I drove to my trainer's place yesterday and seems to be a decent person, lives in a clean, decent place. He keeps his horses good and cared for, has good facilites. He put me on a quarter horse that he was still working on a little for someone else and I rode him in the round pen. He was showing me how to feel the horse's movement while feeling when a certain foot hit the ground I guess to help me feel his movement to go with the movement and to post the trot, canter, etc? The way I see it is that its going to take a lot of time and practice. The other trainers that I met did not even show me this. They just keep telling me to feel the movement and never showed me a way to learn to do that. He has offered to take me along when there is a playday or a reining clinic in town though. So I don't know, maybe this is working out? I feel a lot better since I have someone to rely on and he seems really a nice guy. What do you think?


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

I think he is a keeper! 

But don't put your guard down yet.. still remain objective.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> I think he is a keeper!
> 
> But don't put your guard down yet.. still remain objective.


 I know this is a little of topic, but was it hard learning to ride the trot. My horse has such a bouncy trot and is not gaited! I feel like a bag of potatoes being shook around! He seems to know what hes doing. He could not believe how I could touch one horse that he has thats been abused and rescued by him and that no one could hardly touch her. I just slowly let her smell me and abided my time and finally she let me pet her. Hmmm. I guess I have a gift or that Im just too hearty for horses. Ha! He made the comment that there are so many other ways to learn to ride because of the different opinions and ideas on riding.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> I know this is a little of topic, but was it hard learning to ride the trot. My horse has such a bouncy trot and is not gaited! I feel like a bag of potatoes being shook around! He seems to know what hes doing. He could not believe how I could touch one horse that he has thats been abused and rescued by him and that no one could hardly touch her. I just slowly let her smell me and abided my time and finally she let me pet her. Hmmm. I guess I have a gift or that Im just too hearty for horses. Ha! He made the comment that there are so many other ways to learn to ride because of the different opinions and ideas on riding.


Some are harder to ride the trot than others.. but it all comes down to your body and how your muscles work. If you're too tense, then you zing upwards and slam down. If you have no core strength, you get thrown around.

There's gotta be a healthy balance.


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> I know this is a little of topic, but was it hard learning to ride the trot. My horse has such a bouncy trot and is not gaited! I feel like a bag of potatoes being shook around! He seems to know what hes doing. He could not believe how I could touch one horse that he has thats been abused and rescued by him and that no one could hardly touch her. I just slowly let her smell me and abided my time and finally she let me pet her. Hmmm. I guess I have a gift or that Im just too hearty for horses. Ha! He made the comment that there are so many other ways to learn to ride because of the different opinions and ideas on riding.


I'm glad you found someone to help ;-) You will get it, one day it will just click, and you will be on cloud nine.


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

The main thing is -take your time! A few days ago, you just wanted some help to gain confidence, then you mentioned competing, & now playdays & maybe reining. Many horses never compete-a lot are just riding companions,but it takes a really good horse to go out in the open & be a safe mount over all kinds of different terrains, so don't think "just a trail horse" is not a good goal.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> Some are harder to ride the trot than others.. but it all comes down to your body and how your muscles work. If you're too tense, then you zing upwards and slam down. If you have no core strength, you get thrown around.
> 
> There's gotta be a healthy balance.


 See that's the problem as well, I don't know how to relax in the saddle and keep from getting tense. I know that sounds weird, but I don't know. I rode the horse today and now found that he will only act up when no one except when I'm on him, is around. He'll behave wonderfully when someone is around. I don't know how to outsmart him! I feel like if the horse could talk, he would laugh at me. The horse did not listen to me and payed all of his attention to the grass and when I tried to get him to go, he throws a fit and starts backing up by himself into trees, bryers, and brush. The trainer is supposed to come out next week to help, but I am beginning to already see a problem, he has a tight schedule and can really only do it once a week. I feel like this needs more than once a week personally. Do you think I need to send him to training? I don't know if its the horse or me, That question has been the most mind boggling thing the whole time since ive had the horse. Stuff like this brings my confidence way down and gets me down.:-( What to do?


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

I have the same problem.. working on it and have come far. So you can do it too 

As for once a week, that's a good start. Review everything you learned and go practice at home with your horse. I promise, I did this with Sky.. I seriously should have taped how he was before. Seriously should have..

Once a week for now is good. Once you begin to learn more, you can seek out different help options but this is great progress.

Don't have such huuuuuge expectations for yourself. Baby steps, my friend. Don't be mean to yourself either. Horse riding takes a lot of backwards thinking. When we panic, we curl up. You cannot do that on a horse. Your seat drives the horse, not your hands (like a car) so that's also different.

You'll get it, just have some faith and confidence in yourself


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

What gets me is that, for instance the quick release knot, I cannot seem to hold the knowledge on how to do something simple like that along with other things such as making sure im supposed to do this that way and etc. I guess I'm over complicating this to death, but mentally this whole experience has worn me out enough that I sometimes cannot concentrate on the horse and he's picking it up. I feel exhausted, I guess from not having help for so long. :?


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> What gets me is that, for instance the quick release knot, I cannot seem to hold the knowledge on how to do something simple like that along with other things such as making sure im supposed to do this that way and etc. I guess I'm over complicating this to death, but mentally this whole experience has worn me out enough that I sometimes cannot concentrate on the horse and he's picking it up. I feel exhausted, I guess from not having help for so long. :?


Look, here's what's up with you. You're a *little* overwhelmed with all this new information. WHO WOULDN'T BE? Imagine trying to read every page in a 1,000 page book all at the same time. Can't do it. Same with learning with horses. Work on the small victories. Frustration takes up a lot of a persons energy and thoughts. Put that brain power towards positive learning. Not that frustration is always bad- sometimes it can greatly motivate you and move you forward, as long as you learn use it to your advantage, instead of letting it sending you backwards.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

katbalu said:


> Look, here's what's up with you. You're a *little* overwhelmed with all this new information. WHO WOULDN'T BE? Imagine trying to read every page in a 1,000 page book all at the same time. Can't do it. Same with learning with horses. Work on the small victories. Frustration takes up a lot of a persons energy and thoughts. Put that brain power towards positive learning. Not that frustration is always bad- sometimes it can greatly motivate you and move you forward, as long as you learn use it to your advantage, instead of letting it sending you backwards.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 I agree and I think that I am trying to learn too much too fast. I am a very inexperienced rider and think now that I have a little more experienced level type horse. I love him dearly and love to learn from him and teach him at the same time. I think the horse bug bit me too soon and got overexcited about having a horse that its now biting me in the rear. Oh well, coulda woulda shoulda, can't go back in the past.


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> I agree and I think that I am trying to learn too much too fast. I am a very inexperienced rider and think now that I have a little more experienced level type horse. I love him dearly and love to learn from him and teach him at the same time. I think the horse bug bit me too soon and got overexcited about having a horse that its now biting me in the rear. Oh well, coulda woulda shoulda, can't go back in the past.


Overexcited about horses.... Pffttt- that never happens to anyone . It's okay to want to learn everything all at once- I see no problem there. No problem with excitement either! Just don't be so exited to beat yourself up about it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> Some are harder to ride the trot than others.. but it all comes down to your body and how your muscles work. If you're too tense, then you zing upwards and slam down. If you have no core strength, you get thrown around.
> 
> There's gotta be a healthy balance.


 What can I do in order to acheive better balance? I am having a hard time learning how to relax and what to do in order to move with the horse? I am a little stunned.:shock:


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> What gets me is that, for instance the quick release knot, I cannot seem to hold the knowledge on how to do something simple like that along with other things such as making sure im supposed to do this that way and etc. I guess I'm over complicating this to death, but mentally this whole experience has worn me out enough that I sometimes cannot concentrate on the horse and he's picking it up. I feel exhausted, I guess from not having help for so long. :?


Hang on there lady miss, you're getting a lot of new things thrown at you. Doesn't matter if you don't remember it all.. it took me over 2 years to know how to do a quick release knot LOL  so you're fine in my eyes!

Horses are exhausting.. but they're so good for us  If you need help with anything, ask us here or you can do some google searching for videos on how to do things too 



djcig123 said:


> What can I do in order to acheive better balance? I am having a hard time learning how to relax and what to do in order to move with the horse? I am a little stunned.:shock:


Spend more time at the walk. Close your eyes (when instructor is present) and try to feel what every part of your body is doing.. and imagine them sinking into the horse.

Exercising off-horse will help improve your balance.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

I ended up lengthening my stirrup a notch at a time until I could barely reach the stirrups. I tend to brace against the stirrups, and that made (makes) it impossible for me to accept the horse's movement. I also needed to trot until I was too pooped to do anything but relax.

It does vary with the horse. My mare has a jog that is smooth as silk. My mustang has one that makes me pee blood...:shock:


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> What gets me is that, for instance the quick release knot, I cannot seem to hold the knowledge on how to do something simple like that along with other things such as making sure im supposed to do this that way and etc. I guess I'm over complicating this to death, but mentally this whole experience has worn me out enough that I sometimes cannot concentrate on the horse and he's picking it up. I feel exhausted, I guess from not having help for so long. :?


I started out just like this. I had to look up how to cinch a horse over and over. I'd think, oh I got this, then I'd go to do it and shoot I forgot again ;0) The quick release knot was terrible for me to learn, I had a friend go over tying it at least 10 times, it was embarrassing. Then something would click and bam I had it.
Your horse is testing you, when I have a horse that does that backing up thing, I go ahead and make it my idea and keep backing them up.
When I get exhausted from trying to figure out horses, then I take a break and do more simple task with them, things that I feel confident about. I go online and watch videos or get a magazine about horses and read them. 
Maybe you could ask this person if he has ever lunged a person on a horse and if he would be willing to do that with you. I've lunged my niece on her horse so she could just practice riding without focusing on the reins. My husband lunged me, although he does not like to, he worries if something goes wrong, he would be responsible. Having my husband lunge me went a long way in helping me and it only took a couple of times. I didn't have the pressure of worrying about directing the horse, the horse stayed in the gait that I wanted to practice. 
Good luck.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

I think I'm getting burned out too fast. I appreciate everyone's advice, but I don't think I can do it. I feel really bad and upset about it and don't think it's fair for the horse. I think I'm getting out. Again not that the advice did not help, it's just that I am mentally exhausted. Tired of doing it by myself for so long it's finally biting me in the rear. I really hate it, but I think it's time to quit. I'll have to sell my horse. Where is a good ad site online or advice on finding him a good home?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Advice on a good home- here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Whatever you decide, it's okay 
_Posted via Mobile Device_
You could just take lessons without the stress if ownership. Think that would be an option? Or are you just totally burnt out? Sometimes I feel like this as well. Keep hanging out with us on here!


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

katbalu said:


> Whatever you decide, it's okay
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> You could just take lessons without the stress if ownership. Think that would be an option? Or are you just totally burnt out? Sometimes I feel like this as well. Keep hanging out with us on here!


For some reason I cannot seem to learn horsemanship either there's no one to help or can help or I cannot understand them. This sort of stuff Is hard to learn for me. I believe that's what's burning me out. I wish I never went to the rodeo in Fort Worth that inspired me to do this and the horse fever kicked in. I'm sorry but I don't know what to do. This horse thing has caused mental stress for me. ;(
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> For some reason I cannot seem to learn horsemanship either there's no one to help or can help or I cannot understand them. This sort of stuff Is hard to learn for me. I believe that's what's burning me out. I wish I never went to the rodeo in Fort Worth that inspired me to do this and the horse fever kicked in. I'm sorry but I don't know what to do. This horse thing has caused mental stress for me. ;(
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


It's hard for a lot of people. Its certainly hard for me! And there's NOTHING wrong with not wanting to do it. In fact, it will save you a hell of a lot of money! I get stressed out too. It's hard working with such a huge animal. Not to mention they speak a different language!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

katbalu said:


> It's hard for a lot of people. Its certainly hard for me! And there's NOTHING wrong with not wanting to do it. In fact, it will save you a hell of a lot of money! I get stressed out too. It's hard working with such a huge animal. Not to mention they speak a different language!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I thought about leasing him out. I'm going to have an emotional time selling him. He is a sweet horse, he's just not a good riding horse for me. I don't want to get rid of him, but hell what else to do with him. He'll waste away! I don't see how you guys do it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

There's a lot of sweet good horses out there. I haven't made it into the *you guys* club of horse people yet. I'm a newbie too. I don't think you should just keep him for a pasture pet (personal opinion). If you sell him, then change your mind and want to get back into horses, you'll be able to find another. Or if you decide to keep going, that's okay too.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> I thought about leasing him out. I'm going to have an emotional time selling him. He is a sweet horse, he's just not a good riding horse for me. I don't want to get rid of him, but hell what else to do with him. He'll waste away! I don't see how you guys do it.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I cant really say too much about leasing, never been in that situation. But, if you find a good person to lease the guy, it would save your wallet, and give you time to think/sort things out, if you really wanted to keep him. But, Im not too familiar with all the negatives of horse leasing. It could buy you some time to think maybe...?
_Posted via Mobile Device_
Sorry if I'm kinda rambling... Long day.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

It stinks being a newbie doesn't it? No offense but the horse people here are a bunch of show offs and could care less to help. I've been burned by five of them. Now there are good ones like anyone else but I've managed to keep meeting the bad ones. That's why I'm so burned out. I feel too attached to my horse especially after saving his life from almost getting loaded in a cattle truck bound for slaughter to Mexico,
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

katbalu said:


> I cant really say too much about leasing, never been in that situation. But, if you find a good person to lease the guy, it would save your wallet, and give you time to think/sort things out, if you really wanted to keep him. But, Im not too familiar with all the negatives of horse leasing. It could buy you some time to think maybe...?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_
> Sorry if I'm kinda rambling... Long day.


No your fine. I'm not sure yet but was a thought that came across in my head. I hate to sell the horse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> It stinks being a newbie doesn't it? No offense but the horse people here are a bunch of show offs and could care less to help. I've been burned by five of them. Now there are good ones like anyone else but I've managed to keep meeting the bad ones. That's why I'm so burned out. I feel too attached to my horse especially after saving his life from almost getting loaded in a cattle truck bound for slaughter to Mexico,
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oy... What happened to the recent guy?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

katbalu said:


> Oy... What happened to the recent guy?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The guy I found Is one of the good ones but it took me five bad apples to find him, that's what I am sick of and what happened. I have lost interest and hope because this deal has been such a bad experience. I feel bad and I don't know what to tell him and if he could help regain my interest and confidence back. The horse world has treated me badly. I'm going to take this as a lesson learned and I guess mOve on with my life. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Yep. Worlds treat people badly sometimes, regardless of what type of world it is. Horses are hard; if you want it, sometimes you gotta suck it up and just keep going, and it's not always fun. I don't know if I'll have horses forever. I do have one right now though. And for the record, he ran my *** over 2 months ago and fractured my wrist. It's still a little swollen. It sucks sometimes!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

I just keep wondering how I got into this and why. I also wonder if this is the wrong hobby for me. I nearly got kicked in the head about six years ago. Was cleaning out a horses back hoof out and he snatched it out from me and kicked the wall nearly colliding with the side of my head. Left a godawful hole in the wall. Yeah, you would think something like that would permanently scare me from horses.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Yeah I've been freaked out for a minute. I'm Workin on it
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

These more experienced horse people don't realize what beginners go through especially when your doing it all alone. It can be scary and intimidating. So you think I need to sell the horse and call it quits? I know it's my decision, but don't know still what to do.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> For some reason I cannot seem to learn horsemanship either there's no one to help or can help or I cannot understand them. This sort of stuff Is hard to learn for me. I believe that's what's burning me out. I wish I never went to the rodeo in Fort Worth that inspired me to do this and the horse fever kicked in. I'm sorry but I don't know what to do. This horse thing has caused mental stress for me. ;(
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I feel for you, I really do. I can hear the stress and defeat in your messages. It will be ok. You have to do what will work for you, if selling your horse works, then sell your horse. I wouldn't competely give up, maybe take some lessons.


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

djcig123 said:


> For some reason I cannot seem to learn horsemanship either there's no one to help or can help or I cannot understand them. This sort of stuff Is hard to learn for me. I believe that's what's burning me out. I wish I never went to the rodeo in Fort Worth that inspired me to do this and the horse fever kicked in. I'm sorry but I don't know what to do. This horse thing has caused mental stress for me. ;(
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 When I see someone talented playing a musical instrument I always wish I could do the same thing. Especially a fiddle. But I just do not have the ambition to take the time to practice and I don't want to be so so. Like horseback riding it is an art and a desire. I think it could be hard to jump right in alone and not get discouraged. It shouldn't be that stressful so follow your instincts


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> So you think I need to sell the horse and call it quits? I know it's my decision, but don't know still what to do.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I don't know what you need to do. You seem very conflicted. However, whatever you end up doing, it's not the end of the world. I see you being miserable with the horse ( can you push through that? Is it something you should push through? I can't tell), and also miserable with being defeated ( horses might have a negative place in your head). You'll have to decide for yourself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

Hi, have you thought about selling this horse and possibly finding one more suited to you? Six months ago I made my decision that our gelding was not for me. I started looking for another horse and found a wonderful mare. I have been on 3 trailrides this month and I'm going on another this weekend, it has been wonderful. 
I really struggled with selling this horse who I had for 3yrs, I felt so guilty about that. My husband told me that I shouldn't place such an emotional connection on the horses shoulders that he couldn't carry. He pointed out that if I opened my gates and let him out and he found a better field where he was fed and content the horse would not come back. This of course really bothered my nurturing mind  but I realised that he was right. Horses are a different kind of pet and once I realised this I was able to let go. 
Since my gelding can be rode by different riders and does really well for confident strong riders, as long as I don't sell him to a beginner he should do really well. I still have my gelding because I won't sell him to someone who doesn't know how to ride. It's kind of weird but when you take my gelding on a trailride he is awesome but if I ride him say at my home place he acts up and test his rider too much. He has wonderful ground manners and I know he is a good horse, he is just not for me.
Horses have different personalities and if you don't have the skills to train them and you don't want a pasture puff then they need to go to someone who will get the most out of them. 
Maybe the gentleman that you met would be willing to give you lessons on his horses. You might find that you enjoy horses just riding one once a week without all the responsibilities that go along with owning a horse. There is nothing wrong with that. 
I went on Craigslist and saw a advertisement from a person looking to find someone who wanted to trailride with him on one of his four horses. He lived to far from me but it gave me the idea to write my own ad, I got three great girls out of the doing that who still come and ride at my place. Maybe you could find someone who has the horses and wants someone to ride with them. In that process I also met a lady who had 8 horses who was looking for someone to ride with her, they are out there you just have to look. 
I hope you find what makes your heart happy. ;-)


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## busysmurf (Feb 16, 2012)

djcig123 said:


> For some reason I cannot seem to learn horsemanship either there's no one to help or can help or I cannot understand them. This sort of stuff Is hard to learn for me. I believe that's what's burning me out. I wish I never went to the rodeo in Fort Worth that inspired me to do this and the horse fever kicked in. I'm sorry but I don't know what to do. This horse thing has caused mental stress for me. ;(
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 I will tell you something. You sound like my mom & my daughter. You want so badly to be with horses and ride, but you realized there's a lot more than just hopping on & going. THERE's NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!! The important part is that you are willing to learn, even if you feel overwhelmed right now. I have tried for so many *years* to teach my mom how to tie a quick release knot with no success. But she finds a way. When I watch my mom with her horse I feel like screaming sometimes, but then I sit back and watch. That horse LOVES her. she puts up with mom putting the bridle on backwards, having the cinch twisted, mom using a metal curry comb on her legs. My mom saved that horse from a bad home, and she knows it. She's not a horse I'd put my kids on, I don't trust her, but with my mom she's patient. When mom gets on to ride, you can almost see her horse rolling her eyes:wink: and mom may not do things the "right" way, but who cares. She just wants to trail ride, the horse is never going to leave the property, and if I see something unsafe, I correct it/her. Otherwise, those 2 have a system that works for them. And since it sounds like you found a good shoulder to lean on with your new friend, hang in there. Take a step back. Gain your confidence on the ground first, and work your way up. If it's so important that your horse gets ridden, I'm sure your friend knows of someone who would love to hop on a horse just to ride, especially if they don't have to pay to lease and you don't have to pay a trainer.

As for my daughter, she's a lot like my mom. She has a hard time remembering anything that has more than 2 steps and she gets SUPER frusterated, that and she has really bad balance (she's 9, and finally has the training wheels off her bike after riding bikes since she was 3). We got her one of those 2 wheel scooters for her b-day (March) and in 2 months her balance had improved enough to loose the training wheels.

Sorry this got long, but I would hate to see you give up so quickly. We ALL have times when we feel we've gotten in over our heads. Even those of us who've been around horses most of our lives.


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

busysmurf said:


> I will tell you something. You sound like my mom & my daughter. You want so badly to be with horses and ride, but you realized there's a lot more than just hopping on & going. THERE's NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!! The important part is that you are willing to learn, even if you feel overwhelmed right now. I have tried for so many *years* to teach my mom how to tie a quick release knot with no success. But she finds a way. When I watch my mom with her horse I feel like screaming sometimes, but then I sit back and watch. That horse LOVES her. she puts up with mom putting the bridle on backwards, having the cinch twisted, mom using a metal curry comb on her legs. My mom saved that horse from a bad home, and she knows it. She's not a horse I'd put my kids on, I don't trust her, but with my mom she's patient. When mom gets on to ride, you can almost see her horse rolling her eyes:wink: and mom may not do things the "right" way, but who cares. She just wants to trail ride, the horse is never going to leave the property, and if I see something unsafe, I correct it/her. Otherwise, those 2 have a system that works for them. And since it sounds like you found a good shoulder to lean on with your new friend, hang in there. Take a step back. Gain your confidence on the ground first, and work your way up. If it's so important that your horse gets ridden, I'm sure your friend knows of someone who would love to hop on a horse just to ride, especially if they don't have to pay to lease and you don't have to pay a trainer.
> 
> As for my daughter, she's a lot like my mom. She has a hard time remembering anything that has more than 2 steps and she gets SUPER frusterated, that and she has really bad balance (she's 9, and finally has the training wheels off her bike after riding bikes since she was 3). We got her one of those 2 wheel scooters for her b-day (March) and in 2 months her balance had improved enough to loose the training wheels.
> 
> Sorry this got long, but I would hate to see you give up so quickly. We ALL have times when we feel we've gotten in over our heads. Even those of us who've been around horses most of our lives.


 
I loved your story ;-)


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## heymckate (Nov 23, 2010)

I've been watching this thread, and I decided to add my two cents to it. 

First, I'm terribly sorry to see how frustrated you are. I can imagine the conflict you're going through. However, please remember: You've kept your horse alive for 9 months, so clearly you're doing something right! Some people would have bought the horse, tossed it in a field, and left it to rot when they started feeling in over their head.

I can't tell you what to do. Only you can make that decision. However, here is my suggestion: Talk to this new trainer you found. Tell him everything that is overwhelming and frustrating you, from basic horse care to riding. Let him help you sort through your mess of emotions. He might have some good insight for you. And if in the end you decide that owning a horse may not be the right thing, then he might also have a good suggestion of where to look for a good home for your horse.

There's always a learning curve when it comes to horses and riding. While I certainly know more about them than the average person, I find I learn new things all the time! Some days I feel like a complete beginner both in and out of the saddle, and I bet the majority of people on this forum feel the same on occasion. So don't beat yourself up if you're not an expert. No one expects you to be, least of all your horse. As long as he's getting his basic needs met, I bet he could care less about whether or not you can tie a quick release knot. Don't sweat the small things--they will come with time.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

chandra1313 said:


> Hi, have you thought about selling this horse and possibly finding one more suited to you? Six months ago I made my decision that our gelding was not for me. I started looking for another horse and found a wonderful mare. I have been on 3 trailrides this month and I'm going on another this weekend, it has been wonderful.
> I really struggled with selling this horse who I had for 3yrs, I felt so guilty about that. My husband told me that I shouldn't place such an emotional connection on the horses shoulders that he couldn't carry. He pointed out that if I opened my gates and let him out and he found a better field where he was fed and content the horse would not come back. This of course really bothered my nurturing mind  but I realised that he was right. Horses are a different kind of pet and once I realised this I was able to let go.
> Since my gelding can be rode by different riders and does really well for confident strong riders, as long as I don't sell him to a beginner he should do really well. I still have my gelding because I won't sell him to someone who doesn't know how to ride. It's kind of weird but when you take my gelding on a trailride he is awesome but if I ride him say at my home place he acts up and test his rider too much. He has wonderful ground manners and I know he is a good horse, he is just not for me.
> Horses have different personalities and if you don't have the skills to train them and you don't want a pasture puff then they need to go to someone who will get the most out of them.
> ...


Do you think I need to just start completely over and relearn the basics? I may get him to ride my horse and see if he can be fixed for my riding level so I know if really I need to sell him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> Do you think I need to just start completely over and relearn the basics? I may get him to ride my horse and see if he can be fixed for my riding level so I know if really I need to sell him.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_[/QUOTE
> 
> That's a idea. I don't want to dissappoint you but a experienced confident rider can get a lot out of a horse. I think you need to evaluate his temperment, what makes this horse hard for you to handle.
> ...


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

chandra1313 said:


> djcig123 said:
> 
> 
> > Do you think I need to just start completely over and relearn the basics? I may get him to ride my horse and see if he can be fixed for my riding level so I know if really I need to sell him.
> ...


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> Some are harder to ride the trot than others.. but it all comes down to your body and how your muscles work. If you're too tense, then you zing upwards and slam down. If you have no core strength, you get thrown around.
> 
> There's gotta be a healthy balance.


I'm having problems with my gelding standing still while I mount. As soon as I place my foot in stirrup he takes off walking. He also when we trail ride after about an hour he'll start to ignore my command and start to walk then to a trot and speeds up faster even though I stop and back him, circle him, etc, he still does it. Last time he completely ignored me and wanted to eat grass instead of riding. These are my major problems with my horse. What, in your opinion do you think is wrong and how to fix it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> chandra1313 said:
> 
> 
> > My gelding has a hard time standing still while mounting. He'll start walking as soon as you put your foot in the stirrup. He also takes off from a walk to a trot and gets faster if you let him if you ride him in my pasture or when he's tired and he thinks he's ready to go home. He'll do whatever he wants and is hard to fight with. What do I need to do in order to fix this? These are my biggest problems with him.
> ...


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Don't expect to know it all. And don't be discouraged !! If you truly want to ride, then it is very possible. 



djcig123 said:


> I'm having problems with my gelding standing still while I mount. As soon as I place my foot in stirrup he takes off walking. He also when we trail ride after about an hour he'll start to ignore my command and start to walk then to a trot and speeds up faster even though I stop and back him, circle him, etc, he still does it. Last time he completely ignored me and wanted to eat grass instead of riding. These are my major problems with my horse. What, in your opinion do you think is wrong and how to fix it?
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


He's just testing you, trying to see what is okay and what isn't okay.

If you go to put your foot in the stirrup, as soon as he tries to walk off back him up to where he was. If he tries to move again, back up him again. The third time he should stand. When you get on and he starts walking, first sit down and then back his hiney up for a few seconds. Then get off, get back on and see if he stands.

When he stands (after X amount of time) praise like crazy!! This is so he knows the good answer from the WRONG answer (wrong behind walking off before you're ready to/ask him to.)

Now if he gets fast on the trail, take him into some figures. Circles are most common but I personally love figure eights. Circles, figure eights, do some loopy serpentines, weaving, spiraling from a large circle to a small circle.

YOUR body also affects your horse's speed. Hopefully your new trainer touched upon that a little. If you are tense, your horse will probably get jiggy and fast. If you are working on relaxing, breathing, slowing your body down.. your horse will begin to think about going slow.

Keep this idea in mind: The right answer gets lots of praise, the wrong answer gets lots of work. 

Hope that helped, OP.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> Don't expect to know it all. And don't be discouraged !! If you truly want to ride, then it is very possible.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'll try that. Thanks a lot. It may take a while, but I'll get it done. Hopefully.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

djcig123 said:


> I'll try that. Thanks a lot. It may take a while, but I'll get it done. Hopefully.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Would a tie down be helpful? He also has a problem with holding his head high.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> Would a tie down be helpful? He also has a problem with holding his head high.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I feel that will cause more problems in the long run. Teach him to relax.. walk lots and lots and lots and lots. Check for pain (ask your trainer to help you) and just breathe OP. Enjoy the ride. If he's a goose and a half, then correct and then go back to relaxing.

It's like trying to give a Norwegian guy instructions on how to drive. You have to show them what's WRONG first, and praise when it's right


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

Do you have an exercise ball? If so staddle that, keep your feet on the floor & only using your hips get it to move forward, backwards & side to side. Those are the same movement you'll use to tell your horse what to do. It's especially helpful to learn why your horse is backing up when you don't want him to. Ride the ball then the horse.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> I feel that will cause more problems in the long run. Teach him to relax.. walk lots and lots and lots and lots. Check for pain (ask your trainer to help you) and just breathe OP. Enjoy the ride. If he's a goose and a half, then correct and then go back to relaxing.
> 
> It's like trying to give a Norwegian guy instructions on how to drive. You have to show them what's WRONG first, and praise when it's right


I know this is way off topic, but how do you get a mane with a huge cowlick to stay on one side? Is there a product to treat it? I know I am OCD about his mane. Ha! Thought id ask while on my mind.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## chandra1313 (Jul 12, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> I know this is way off topic, but how do you get a mane with a huge cowlick to stay on one side? Is there a product to treat it? I know I am OCD about his mane. Ha! Thought id ask while on my mind.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You could try braiding it, although my sister had two cowlicks and she trained it for years and its back lol


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

chandra1313 said:


> You could try braiding it, although my sister had two cowlicks and she trained it for years and its back lol


I tried doing that with the rubber bands, doesn't really work very long. Ooh well, Ill deal with it. He has such a thick mane!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> I know this is way off topic, but how do you get a mane with a huge cowlick to stay on one side? Is there a product to treat it? I know I am OCD about his mane. Ha! Thought id ask while on my mind.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Try wetting it and combing it over to that side and then putting it in a ponytail to let it dry. My horse has the same thing.. just have to train it to stay over


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> Try wetting it and combing it over to that side and then putting it in a ponytail to let it dry. My horse has the same thing.. just have to train it to stay over


I'll try that! Thanks
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

natisha said:


> Do you have an exercise ball? If so staddle that, keep your feet on the floor & only using your hips get it to move forward, backwards & side to side. Those are the same movement you'll use to tell your horse what to do. It's especially helpful to learn why your horse is backing up when you don't want him to. Ride the ball then the horse.


Sorry- straddle


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> I know this is way off topic, but how do you get a mane with a huge cowlick to stay on one side? Is there a product to treat it? I know I am OCD about his mane. Ha! Thought id ask while on my mind.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Wet it, use styling gel & braid.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

djcig123 said:


> I'll try that! Thanks
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I've noticed now he has some discharge around the corner of his eye. Almost looks like white boogers. I don't see any swelling in the eye just this white eye crust around the eye lid. Should I consult the vet or just keep cleaning it?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Well keep note of it but horses get that from time to time. If you're worried you can call the vet to talk about it.


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Alright OP, i've been thinking about this for a while now, and here's what i've got to say: As someone who is new to this, you've dealt with a lot of frustration. I dont think you would be being fair to yourself to give up now. You've had a lot of negatives. Work really hard, dive in, give it all you have, and work until you see the fruits of your labor. _Then_ decide if it was worth it. If you decide its not, at least you wont look back and regret the fact that you could have done more.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

katbalu said:


> Alright OP, i've been thinking about this for a while now, and here's what i've got to say: As someone who is new to this, you've dealt with a lot of frustration. I dont think you would be being fair to yourself to give up now. You've had a lot of negatives. Work really hard, dive in, give it all you have, and work until you see the fruits of your labor. _Then_ decide if it was worth it. If you decide its not, at least you wont look back and regret the fact that you could have done more.


 Well Im going to be honest, I have managed to fix one thing ever since I've had him. He used to lift his head up so high to avoid the bridle and bit that you couldn't even put in his mouth. You had to fight for at least an hour. Now out of the blue, he just opens his mouth for you, less than five seconds its in. I don't know what I did, but hell yeah!!! :lol: At least I managed to fix that problem. I need to work on when I mount for him to stand still and behave better. I need to fix his deal where when I'm trail riding and after about an one and a half maybe two hours on the ride, he'll get cranky and crabby like an old woman and not listen to me and he'll, instead of walking he'll trot and slowly gain speed into a canter anywhere, not just the direction home. :-x


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

Go to Julie goodnights question & answer section on her homepage. Fill your brain . Somewhere in there is her way to make a horse stand for mounting...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

katbalu said:


> Alright OP, i've been thinking about this for a while now, and here's what i've got to say: As someone who is new to this, you've dealt with a lot of frustration. I dont think you would be being fair to yourself to give up now. You've had a lot of negatives. Work really hard, dive in, give it all you have, and work until you see the fruits of your labor. _Then_ decide if it was worth it. If you decide its not, at least you wont look back and regret the fact that you could have done more.


 Sorry its been a while, since I talked. My confidence seems to come back a little after going to several horse shows/barrel races for some reason. I guess it reminds me that I'd like to someday would like to compete, but can't at this stage of my experience level. I have found a Cowboy Church group that have their own covered arena that host and plan all kinds of horse events and the one I know of is on Thursday nights they practice rope. I watch them practice and like to talk to them and somehow join them, but I tend not to be a very social person anyway. I think horse people intimdate me a little for some reason. LOL. I don't know what to to say or do. I would have to either find and borrow or buy a trailer in order to take my horse to this. I really need a trailer and can't seem to find one either. Finding a bumper pull horse trailer thats in decent shape is hard to find these days. Any tips on buying horse trailers?


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

Sorry its been a while since I've talked to you. I finally bought a trailer and like it. I've not ridden because its been so hot here in Texas. I found someone in my town that teaches English riding lessons. I'm not sure, but do you think it may be good if I take some lessons with this lady that does this? I still talk to my other trainer, but been too busy and forgot to keep in touch, I need to call him. I know english riding is different and heard its a lot harder than western, but do you think I may benefit riding english or is it worth falling off and looking like an idiot because there is no horn or anything to hold on to? I just don't feel inspired to do a whole lot of riding anymore for some reason. Whenever I go to the lessons, I don't feel nervous, but I feel kind of burned out from possibly trying to find the right person to help me and trying to do all of it myself for so long. I feel lost when in the saddle for lessons especially when I get tired of going in cicles in a round pen. I can't seem to understand balance and moving with the horse's movement. Call me nuts, but I don't get all of this. The teacher does a good job explaining it, but when I go to do it, I can't seem to get it and feel embarrassed and frustrated. I can't seem to get my inspiration to be in the saddle back. Is this a sign that riding is not for me? i guess others just have a natural talent while others can't do it like playing the piano. I certainly cannot do that either. Ha!! What do you think would be best if you were in this position?


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

English lessons are great! I take lessons when I can, and they are English. It helps me with my balance, and anytime I can ride and have instant feedback/help, I love it! Take a step back, take a deep breath, and just enjoy your horse time. Stop beating yourself up for not being 'good enough' Never be embarrassed.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

*Confidence*



katbalu said:


> English lessons are great! I take lessons when I can, and they are English. It helps me with my balance, and anytime I can ride and have instant feedback/help, I love it! Take a step back, take a deep breath, and just enjoy your horse time. Stop beating yourself up for not being 'good enough' Never be embarrassed.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 I don't know how I am beating myself over this. I am having trouble for some reason learning balance and understanding horses. I sometimes wonder if I need mental help. What would you do if you were in my position to gain back inspiration? I don't think riding is for me. I feel like in my heart the want to to ride is there, but in my mind is gone. I can't explain it. I may be over analyzing this but do you think this is a sign that riding is not for me?


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> I don't know how I am beating myself over this. I am having trouble for some reason learning balance and understanding horses. I sometimes wonder if I need mental help. What would you do if you were in my position to gain back inspiration? I don't think riding is for me. I feel like in my heart the want to to ride is there, but in my mind is gone. I can't explain it. I may be over analyzing this but do you think this is a sign that riding is not for me?


You are beating yourself up over this! Balance can only be gained over time in the saddle. We aren't born balanced.. remember it takes years for us to learn to walk properly. So it's going to take some time to melt into that saddle and stay with the horse 

Maybe you need a different kind of horse riding lesson. Maybe you should ask about volunteering at a local horse place or changing instructors (sometimes that helps)


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## Failbhe (May 8, 2012)

Hey there, I just read over this thread for the first time. 

I've been around horses ever since I was little, but I'd never had any actual lessons. A lot of the people I met were snobs that only wanted to talk about how much money their horses were worth and all the competitions they had won. My uncle gave me a gelding - very nice of him, but we did NOT get along. I tried picking out a horse on my own and got a very sweet mare, but she was terrified of everything and just wasn't safe to ride. I was miserable for years and decided to sell them both, unsure if I was just going to quit altogether or what.

Anyway my wonderfully supportive husband could tell how much horses meant to me and encouraged me to try one more time. I was SO NERVOUS looking for a horse, terrified that I would fail yet again. But - now I have a truly wonderful mare and my passion is definitely alive and well. She's not perfect, but I 'get' her and we're making great progress.

It's been rough for me to find horsey people around me too. My farrier seems to be a good person, though - she also breeds, trains and competes with sporthorses and offers English lessons. I've never even been in an English saddle, but I'm going to go take a few lessons anyway - it never hurts to learn more. 

It can definitely be overwhelming. And if the thought of selling your horse makes you feel relieved, then maybe that's the best thing - but I would encourage you not to give up altogether. Take some lessons, if you can, in any discipline - just to absorb more information. 

Imagine how dumb I feel, when I've had horses my whole life and still don't know what a lot of these people are talking about! :wink:


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

*Confidence*



Failbhe said:


> Hey there, I just read over this thread for the first time.
> 
> I've been around horses ever since I was little, but I'd never had any actual lessons. A lot of the people I met were snobs that only wanted to talk about how much money their horses were worth and all the competitions they had won. My uncle gave me a gelding - very nice of him, but we did NOT get along. I tried picking out a horse on my own and got a very sweet mare, but she was terrified of everything and just wasn't safe to ride. I was miserable for years and decided to sell them both, unsure if I was just going to quit altogether or what.
> 
> ...


Well, I'll say that I got started in horses about a year and a half ago. Never owned or ridden a horse before this. My family or friends all do not like horses. My father is not very supportive at all and does not understand horses. I feel left out especially when I go to horse shows and see that most have fancy trailers, horses, etc. Not that I shouldn't be thankful for what I have, but still good grief!! I think the horrid Texas heat has something to do with it also, but I think most has something to do with being jealous having lack of inspiration. I cannot blame this on the horse, I love my gelding to death, but I feel in a way he laughs at me because I am a poor leader to him. He is nicely trained but when I begin to lunge him, etc. he doesn't do it. I feel as if he is laughing at me and mocking me. I blame it on my experience level. I used to trail ride with a group until the leader of the group blamed me for ripping down the flagging on the trails and spying on their camp, which is all lies. No offense, but I do not have a good view on horse people, not there are not any good ones, but I've managed to meet the bad ones which I believe has contributed to my lack of confidence and burned out attitude on riding.


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## katbalu (Sep 8, 2011)

You sound like perhaps you are weary of more than just all the horse frustration. Could that be accurate? Is there possibly more going on? But if not, back to horse frustration...
I don't have the greatest balance. When I'm riding I'm still figuring out where to put my hands, to be soft, but hell - I know I'm still waving my hands all over the **** place! And I can't post and keep my heels down. And I probably confuse the crap out of my horse every time I get on him! But he puts up with me (so far)...
Maybe you're just overwhelmed and stressed out. And the key to dealing with that ( I feel ) is admitting it to yourself, and being okay with it. So what if you aren't a natural. It can still be fun. But ultimately, the decision about whether you want to keep going on this path, or choose another, is up to only you. And you can always change your mind any time you want to.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## PhelanVelvel (Jan 6, 2012)

Okay, I typed up this like, huge post, and my mouse randomly spazzed out and closed the tab. So let me try this again.

You say you feel inspired by watching other people ride, you love your horse and have a bond with him, you enjoy riding, you just don't feel like you're good at it. All that seems to say to me that you should continue with it, you're just allowing yourself to believe that you're somehow not good enough for riding. There are so many different kinds of people who ride, and I would venture to say that almost all of them needed to work their way up. The kind of "natural talent" where someone doesn't need practise to make progress is extremely rare indeed. So rest assured that even the best riders started as beginners.

You're letting these feelings of frustration and confusion chase you away from something you clearly want to do! But the question is, why? I just want you to know that there are other people out there who struggle with the "little" things like tying knots.  When I'm riding, even if I'm making mistakes and the trainer is telling me I'm making mistakes, I feel just fine. I don't know why, I don't feel awkward if I mess up when I'm on the horse. I feel that I have more confidence and ability in the saddle because things are less about memorisation and more about feeling. But off the horse, inwardly I'm going "THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK I AM LITERALLY AN IDIOT." I get embarrassed and feel that I'm just not "cut out" for the "horse world". I just don't care, because I love horses. I just tell myself "I didn't grow up on a farm. I have a lot to learn. You'll never learn until you get in there and do it." These little twelve year-old girls half my age, doing everything so confidently and accurately...they made the same mistakes at one point, they were just younger, so it _looks_ like they were "born with it".

Example: my first day volunteering at the local barn, I was leading a horse out into the pasture. I was under the impression that you must always close a gate behind you straight away, or you're going to have a loose horse. But they assured me that I needn't close the gate until all the horses were turned out! So, I thought, surely I must need to lead him all the way out into the field, to the hay, so he won't turn around and run out the gate. This poor horse, he didn't want to move, kept giving me a hard time. They told me I could just let him go. Let him go, really, right by the gate?! >_< He was just giving me a hard time because he wanted to go and get a drink, and I lead him right past the tub of water. "Stupid human," he must have been thinking. After his drink he went right out into the middle of the field to eat. I thought I must have looked like I was torturing the poor thing, keeping him from drinking. That's just how they happen to do things there, and I'd never seen that before. But sometimes you just have to say "Oh well, I'm not psychic. I'm learning, I wasn't born with the innate knowledge of how everything horse-related is done, and how it's done at one barn compared to another."

I think, if I were you, I would look at a few different options: 1.) Sell your horse to a good home and take lessons at a place nearby so you can build your confidence and skill. I bet there's a place closer than an hour away! And make it on a schedule so you can keep track of your progress each week.

2.) Keep your horse and find a trainer who will either come to your house, or find one a distance away that you're willing to drive who will let you bring him to their facilities. Then take lessons on him! (Once again, on a schedule. This keeps you from letting your feelings derail you. It's like, too bad, it's Thursday, time to ride whether you like it or not. :twisted When your horse starts doing something wrong, the trainer will be able to tell you "When he does that, do this..." and you can practise those things even if you decide to ride him a bit at home.

3.) Take lessons at a nearby place on THEIR lesson horses and find someone nice and experienced to ride/work with your horse in the meantime. If I were you, and if you have the finances, I would keep him because you seem to really like him. Who knows, it could take just a few months of lessons for you to learn enough to ride him without feeling so miserable. From what you've said, to my mind, he doesn't sound out of control or dangerous, just in need of work.

There is no 4.) stop riding, in my opinion!  Unless that's really, really what you want. But if it was, I don't think you'd keep going to horse shows and posting here and trying at this the way you are. Look how down you are, yet you still haven't really quit. I think that means you want it badly. Just some advice from a fellow (awkward) noob.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

PhelanVelvel said:


> Okay, I typed up this like, huge post, and my mouse randomly spazzed out and closed the tab. So let me try this again.
> 
> You say you feel inspired by watching other people ride, you love your horse and have a bond with him, you enjoy riding, you just don't feel like you're good at it. All that seems to say to me that you should continue with it, you're just allowing yourself to believe that you're somehow not good enough for riding. There are so many different kinds of people who ride, and I would venture to say that almost all of them needed to work their way up. The kind of "natural talent" where someone doesn't need practise to make progress is extremely rare indeed. So rest assured that even the best riders started as beginners.
> 
> ...


I know its been a while since I posted on this site. I've been busy with work and college that I've forgotten about riding. I still have not had any luck finding anyone. I thought I found two people that could help, but I keep trying to call them back and cannot get an answer or reply on my messages. I asked my local feed stores and for some reason that don't know anyone unless their covering their you know what. I've even spent about a couple of hours on the computer searching for anyone, which is how I remembered this thread which was in the search results. I mean tell me that there are other people having this hard of a time or am I just going crazy. Ha! I quit going to the shows because I cannot get in the arena anymore. They have the local arena here sealed shut to spectators. Don't know why that's that way. Anyway I don't know what else to do. Can anybody suggest any other ideas?


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## Northernstar (Jul 23, 2011)

Yes, I can... _Step back and take a deep breath._ Enjoy just being with your horse, at feed time, and anytime in between. Stop focusing on riding, and let yourself simply enjoy your horse's company. Be observant/sit on a rock or stool and have carrots in your pocket. Let your horse come to you and give a carrot, then brush and groom him. Speak gently, watch his eyes as they trust you. Put on his halter and lead rope, and take him for a good, long walk. _Yes, a good long_ _walk!_ I do this with my horses all the time, and it's a wonderful experience. Just the two of you walking/listening/seeing the sights around you. Then back again, with a profound feeling that something awesome has happened. Remember this : _Horses were not created to have us on their backs!_ The ability to do so is a privelege, as they are herd/prey animals! Never push yourself to do 'as others do' in the show world... _enjoy_ your horse, and never forget, _simplicity is the key _


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## polowrapfiend (Nov 7, 2013)

riding is hard, of course it is. so is everything else in life. but just because you had a couple bad apples is that going to stop you from eating fruit ever again ? no of course not. if you really want it, you have to fight for it. ive been riding for a very long time, and have had many spills, falls, been bucked off, kicked, bitten, trampled, you name it, its happened. but thats part of the horse world. you think any other rider hasnt had it happen to them ? its part of owning and riding a 1200pd animal that could kill you in a second. dont let what some people have done deter you from wanting to ride anymore, and if you do let them then you didnt really want it in the first place. i hope you keep going, you dont have to be a world champion to love riding horses, pleasure riding is just as good.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

polowrapfiend said:


> riding is hard, of course it is. so is everything else in life. but just because you had a couple bad apples is that going to stop you from eating fruit ever again ? no of course not. if you really want it, you have to fight for it. ive been riding for a very long time, and have had many spills, falls, been bucked off, kicked, bitten, trampled, you name it, its happened. but thats part of the horse world. you think any other rider hasnt had it happen to them ? its part of owning and riding a 1200pd animal that could kill you in a second. dont let what some people have done deter you from wanting to ride anymore, and if you do let them then you didnt really want it in the first place. i hope you keep going, you dont have to be a world champion to love riding horses, pleasure riding is just as good.


I think I might have found some help. The feed store I go to in my hometown knows me well and there's a guy there that has a ranch north of town and has told me that if I come and do some repair work for him he would in return help me with my riding and would even board my horse for free. The only thing I am a little concerned about is that he is one of these old style cowboy guys that does things like the cowboys do, whatever that means. I've seen done of these guys that are this way be a little rough and dry with horses. I guess I'm a little too much kind hearted but I don't want him to hurt my horse. I'm also facing not having the want to anymore if that makes sense. My father wants me to of it and I probably would if I got reassured if this sounds like a good deal or not.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Foxtail Ranch (Mar 10, 2012)

djcig123 said:


> I think I might have found some help. The feed store I go to in my hometown knows me well and there's a guy there that has a ranch north of town and has told me that if I come and do some repair work for him he would in return help me with my riding and would even board my horse for free. The only thing I am a little concerned about is that he is one of these old style cowboy guys that does things like the cowboys do, whatever that means. I've seen done of these guys that are this way be a little rough and dry with horses. I guess I'm a little too much kind hearted but I don't want him to hurt my horse. I'm also facing not having the want to anymore if that makes sense. My father wants me to of it and I probably would if I got reassured if this sounds like a good deal or not.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


OP, I think that sounds great! 

I have a thread on here, about how I let a young friend board her horse just for the cost of his feed (which was mostly free because I have so much grass on 34 acres). Many on here wondered why I did that!

Well, I was just looking for someone who shares my passion and hobby. It didn't work out because she did not stay committed, so I asked her to leave after 6 months. But this could be a similar situation for you.

And do not discount the old cowboys! My greatest teacher was my neighbor when I was a kid. He was a crusty old rancher that I just loved to be with. He taught me a lot, and also encouraged me. He was fun to hang out with. I helped him gather cattle, and worked around his place in gratitude for his help. When I was grown and gone, he let me niece ride his old mare Queeny. 

He was an absolute gentleman and prince of a man. 

Heres to you, Curtis Thompson! *doffing my hat to the sky*

Now, this fella could be like me and you, looking for a friend to share interests. Or he could be like Mr. Thompson, helping young people and horses. Or he could be something else wonderful. Good luck!


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

djcig123 said:


> I know its been a while since I posted on this site. I've been busy with work and college that I've forgotten about riding. I still have not had any luck finding anyone. I thought I found two people that could help, but I keep trying to call them back and cannot get an answer or reply on my messages. I asked my local feed stores and for some reason that don't know anyone unless their covering their you know what. I've even spent about a couple of hours on the computer searching for anyone, which is how I remembered this thread which was in the search results. I mean tell me that there are other people having this hard of a time or am I just going crazy. Ha! I quit going to the shows because I cannot get in the arena anymore. They have the local arena here sealed shut to spectators. Don't know why that's that way. Anyway I don't know what else to do. Can anybody suggest any other ideas?


I moved to Louisiana about an hr from Texarkana. My trainer commutes from there. If you want I can PM you his details. He's amazing, despite his appearance.


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## djcig123 (May 18, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> I moved to Louisiana about an hr from Texarkana. My trainer commutes from there. If you want I can PM you his details. He's amazing, despite his appearance.


You must not live very far from Shreveport. That would be great if you don't mind. I'm curious to know who he is. Thanks for thinking about me .
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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