# Okay.. never mind.. confidence is shot!!



## xxdanioo

Seriously? Are they only allowing children to take lessons? Rude.


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## Lockwood

Perhaps if the horses were itty bitty ponies. But last I knew, most men weight far more than 120lbs.


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## Ink

Heck, most grown _women_ weigh more than 120 lbs. That's ridiculously low for a weight limit.


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## sassaflash

Ink said:


> Heck, most grown _women_ weigh more than 120 lbs. That's ridiculously low for a weight limit.


I know right??
I am just nervous to call anyone else now!! What bad luck for someone who had weight confidence problems to begin with.

I will have to preface every conversation with my weight so I don't waste anyone's time.


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## Walkamile

sassaflash said:


> I talked to two different people at two different barns in my area and I told them I weighed around 169 and they said I was too heavy for their horses.. they said their horses could only take about 120lbs
> I am SO glad I asked before showing up :-(
> 
> At this point I just feel like buying my own horse so I don't have to deal with this. I know how to ride.. I just wanted to ease back into it.


Are these MINI horses or what! Good grief!

Don't let this get you down. You weigh much less than I, and my mare is 15.2 and has no problem carrying me for many miles.


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## SouthernTrails

sassaflash said:


> I talked to two different people at two different barns in my area and I told them I weighed around 169 and they said I was too heavy for their horses.. they said their horses could only take about 120lbs


That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard of...... 169 lbs. is nothing.......

I could believe one Barn being wacko, but two Barns?

120lbs Rider Weight?, were the Horses 7 hands tall and 300lbs :?:


.


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## yadlim

If you can afford it, go find a good horse trader (they are out there, but they can be hard to find - I know one if you are in the Pacific Northwest) who will find you a horse to suit your skill level, get in a barn with lots of other people of like riding personalities and get your own horse.

Heck - if you live near me I would let you come out and meet and play with mine. 169 lbs, he wouldn't even know he had a person on his back!

I have only met one person for whom I thought was justified in saying, no I am not going to ride until I lose weight. My husband combined a medical condition with depression and gained 300 pounds. He has been slowly taking it off, but as he currently weighs in at over 500 pounds, he refuses to ride. I can agreee with that. That doesn't mean he doesn't come out and play with my horse and my daughter's filly. He just doesn't ride. 

He will drive with me, but I dont' have a workign cart right now.

So, unless you look like him, you are NOT too heavy to ride. The filly in these pics is 14.2 hand arab - 2 1/2 years old. Hubby is 6'6".


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## Quixotic

That's absolute nonsense if they're saying their horses can't handle more than 120 lbs. If that's the case, then I'm too fat to ride, too...and I wear a size 4. By any chance, were these hunter barns that you were calling? I'm wondering if this was more about them trying to keep up some sort of ridiculous "image" (i.e. only wafer thin riders), & not actually about the health of the horse. Because 169 lbs is NOT too big to ride...not even close! If you lived in FL, I'd tell you to come out to my barn! Both my trainer & the barn owner are larger women (& larger than you), so you'd certainly not find any of that ridiculousness with us!


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## Wallaby

One thing that hasn't been mentioned is that they, like many riding places, might be using older+smaller horses as their lesson mounts.
If so, it's probably nothing against you at all. 

I weigh 145lbs and I'm at the top of the weight spectrum I'd feel comfortable putting on my mare for long periods (I do use her to teach lessons to children). My reasoning for it is that she's 27, she's conformationally weak in her back, and she's 14.1hh. 
After a day of me riding her, even at just a walk, she acts sore and tired which leads me to believe that I'm close to the top of what she can carry without really stressing her body.

I don't let people over 160lbs ride Lacey because I don't feel like it's fair to her at her age. She has enough aches and pains just carrying herself around.
Another issue for me is that Lacey is difficult to fit a saddle to. Therefore, any pressure points are completely multiplied the heavier her rider is. It's nothing against the people, it's all Lacey. I have to put her and her well being before anyone and their feelings, no matter what they weigh.


Of course, if this place has young, large, strong backed horses and they're telling you you can't ride, psh! That's silly!

But, what I'm trying to say is that if you haven't been there, seen their horses, and seen their set up, please don't assume that it's something against you/your weight. They're a business, they need to keep their horses as sound and healthy as possible and if their horses are old, that probably includes limiting the weight of the rider.

I'm sorry you had to experience that rejection, in any case. And for the record, 169lbs isn't that much at all. 
The next time I might not mention your weight. People are oftentimes skewed one way or another to what a weight physically appears like. They might be visualizing a much different kind of 169lbs, yknow?
People always assume I'm around 120lbs when they just see me and they are super shocked when I tell them I nearly weight 150lbs.

I doubt they'll have a person-scale at the barn (if they do - sketchy!) and if it's a huge issue for them, they can just ask you weight when they see you. If it doesn't come up, I don't think anything needs to be said.

Good luck finding barn!

If it makes you feel better, I've ben trying to find a barn for lessons and no one wants to take me because I've been riding for quite a while but still want to ride a lesson horse (I don't have a trailer to bring Lacey and even if I did, I want to learn on a horse that knows what it's doing more than I do! haha).


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## karebear444

My friend runs a trail riding stable and most of her horses have a low weight limit only because they are either built like ponies or are old. One of her geldings she only allows 100lbs. on the days she chooses to use him, but she has one horse she will lets carry 220lbs. It really does depend on the horse. You are no means heavy at all. I don't know what the case was with those farms, but with healthy young horses there is no reason to have the weight limit that low.


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## yadlim

For the longest three years of my life, I didn't own a horse. During that time, I took everyone out and we rented horses. I had just gotten out of the military at the time, so though I was not overweight by military standards, I was still 170 pounds of muscle. With us, we had a total of three people who were well over 200 pounds - with one woman was closer to 300. 

It took the rental place a lot of shuffling but they found horses for everyone. The youngest rider, my daughter who was only 4 was ponied. The only trouble we had was the the only person with no riding experience was placed on the back horse - who promptly stopped and ate grass. 

I also know that at least one of the horse rental places on the beach has draft horses so they can accomodate the 300+ pound riders.

Never give up, a horse hug is worth more than everything else in this world.


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## gingerscout

gee this sounds suprisingly familiar to a problem i was having.. and your weight limits where you were living are lower than the ones i found.. and when I said I found a couple of barns with 150 limits, people called me crazy, that no barn would have a weight limit that low, but sadly they are out there, so i feel your pain, although your much lighter than me


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## sassaflash

I totally understand that some horses can only take a certain weight. It was more of just a blow to MY self esteem seeing as it's taken me a long time to muster up the courage to even call a place  When I was a teenager and 130lbs, I remember being too big for some horses as well. It's just sucks to get your hopes up about riding and be "rejected"... I gotta put on my big girl pants though. I found a place today that has horses who can handle my weight!  Only draw back is they are a little further than I wanted to drive.
Thanks everyone for your input  Not giving up!!


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## waresbear

You obviously rang up places that only give pony rides. Find a place that teaches adults lessons as well, on proper size horses.


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## sassaflash

waresbear said:


> You obviously rang up places that only give pony rides. Find a place that teaches adults lessons as well, on proper size horses.


One of the places I called I had actually e-mailed beforehand and asked if they specifically gave "ADULT" lessons. The guy responded saying yes and to give him a call! 
Welp, different story when I called LOL I should of asked why they advertised adult lessons if you have to be under 120! Oh well.


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## waresbear

Ok so they only give adult who are under 5'2" lessons? Because that is the healthy weight minimum for a person (woman) that height, anyone taller weighing 120lbs would be considered medically "emanicated". May I have the name & phone number of this stable?


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## Palomine

While I think the 120 is a bit low, I have to commend barns that will set a limit. The wear and tear on a horses back is something many overweight riders simply don't want to hear, both in terms of their saddle fit, or the soreness issues the horse may be having.

And it could also be that by setting limit this low, they are avoiding the "I only weigh 10 lbs more" deal too.

And without seeing you of course I can't be sure, but is your balance badly off because of your weight. If you are 6 ft tall, and 169? Big difference from being 5 ft tall and 169 and your gait may show that?

Many variables here, as well as barn may have had horses ruined due to someone's weight and not be willing to chance that again.

And something else to consider is this.

They may have had such bad experiences with overweight riders they are simply not willing to deal with them anymore. What I am talking about, is the rider is not improving due more than anything else, to their weight.

They aren't posting, they are hauling themselves out of the saddle by the reins. Their weight issues ruin the saddles, since they are over the cantle and pommel, and the horses are sore backed after these riders are on them.

And those riders? 9 times out of 10 will reject any criticism about their riding, and refuse to do anything to correct it too. Or play the "oh you are mean" card when it is pointed out that weight does make a difference.

Not saying you are one of these, but the odds are very high that they have had people like that, and are simply avoiding it at all costs in the future.


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## DuffyDuck

That is the most redonkulous thing I have ever heard. Ever.

I'm slim, and 5ft7.. and well over 120!

Have you explained you CAN ride? There is a big difference between 169ilbs of non rider to 169ilbs of rider, IMO, if you can control yourself and not bounce on the horse's back why shouldn't you ride o.0

Hope you find a better barn!!


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## themacpack

Where are you located? It is very likely someone here might be able to lithium in touch with barns more accommodating to what you are looking for


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## sassaflash

Palomine said:


> While I think the 120 is a bit low, I have to commend barns that will set a limit. The wear and tear on a horses back is something many overweight riders simply don't want to hear, both in terms of their saddle fit, or the soreness issues the horse may be having.
> 
> And it could also be that by setting limit this low, they are avoiding the "I only weigh 10 lbs more" deal too.
> 
> And without seeing you of course I can't be sure, but is your balance badly off because of your weight. If you are 6 ft tall, and 169? Big difference from being 5 ft tall and 169 and your gait may show that?
> 
> Many variables here, as well as barn may have had horses ruined due to someone's weight and not be willing to chance that again.
> 
> And something else to consider is this.
> 
> They may have had such bad experiences with overweight riders they are simply not willing to deal with them anymore. What I am talking about, is the rider is not improving due more than anything else, to their weight.
> 
> They aren't posting, they are hauling themselves out of the saddle by the reins. Their weight issues ruin the saddles, since they are over the cantle and pommel, and the horses are sore backed after these riders are on them.
> 
> And those riders? 9 times out of 10 will reject any criticism about their riding, and refuse to do anything to correct it too. Or play the "oh you are mean" card when it is pointed out that weight does make a difference.
> 
> Not saying you are one of these, but the odds are very high that they have had people like that, and are simply avoiding it at all costs in the future.


I completely agree with everything you said. Never in a million years would I want to ruin a horses back, that's the reason why I even brought up my weight over the phone  
It's just odd because I e-mailed them beforehand asking if they offered adult lessons to which they said yes. After doing some research I think the instructor I called was a youth instructor. So not sure who e-mailed me back, but it wasn't her.

I have since found a handful of places that will let me ride! Now I just need to arrange for a babysitter for my daughter so I can 

For the record, here is a body shot of me from a few months ago. I've lost 10lbs since then. (I have been documenting my weight loss since I started at 210)


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## themacpack

I am SO glad to hear you didn't let the first two places put you off for good - and that you have found some barns that are more open-minded. So excited for you - can't wait to hear all about your first lesson!


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## Allison Finch

Wow, that seems ridiculous!

Do you think I am a heavy person? Too heavy to ride their horses?










By their standards I am. I am between 135-140 on any given day.


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## sassaflash

Allison Finch said:


> Wow, that seems ridiculous!
> 
> Do you think I am a heavy person? Too heavy to ride their horses?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> By their standards I am. I am between 135-140 on any given day.


Not at all!
I think though, as others pointed out, maybe they are using itty bitty ponies or older horses with back problems.. I don't know because I didn't ask. 
It took me a bit not to take it personally but now I am feeling fine now that I have crawled out of my "self pity" hole lol


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## Allison Finch

As for little horses, they are often tougher than their bigger cousins. I think it is a foolish thing to have a lesson program that is so limited.

I suspect they just like teaching kids and not adults. Teaching adults can be "challenging" in its own right.


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## afatgirlafathorse

I don't have a problem with barns having weight limits, I really don't. I don't think it's "mean" or anything like that... but the problem is that everybody has a very different idea of what 120 or 150 or even 250lbs looks like. Not just that, but it looks very different on different bodies. I'd almost want them to have a scale at the barn - especially when they have such a low weight limit. 

I'm so glad you found someone that is willing to work with you.


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## waresbear

Off topic, but Sassaflash you have ultra cute toes!!!


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## kiwigirl

yadlim said:


> If you can afford it, go find a good horse trader (they are out there, but they can be hard to find - I know one if you are in the Pacific Northwest) who will find you a horse to suit your skill level, get in a barn with lots of other people of like riding personalities and get your own horse.
> 
> Heck - if you live near me I would let you come out and meet and play with mine. 169 lbs, he wouldn't even know he had a person on his back!
> 
> I have only met one person for whom I thought was justified in saying, no I am not going to ride until I lose weight. My husband combined a medical condition with depression and gained 300 pounds. He has been slowly taking it off, but as he currently weighs in at over 500 pounds, he refuses to ride. I can agreee with that. That doesn't mean he doesn't come out and play with my horse and my daughter's filly. He just doesn't ride.
> 
> He will drive with me, but I dont' have a workign cart right now.
> 
> So, unless you look like him, you are NOT too heavy to ride. The filly in these pics is 14.2 hand arab - 2 1/2 years old. Hubby is 6'6".


Hey yadlim, I hope your husband is on the road to recovery. It is hard to watch a loved one struggle with illness. I wish you well.


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## kiwigirl

waresbear said:


> Off topic, but Sassaflash you have ultra cute toes!!!


Lol waresbear, I had to go back and check out sassaflash's toes after you posted that:lol:.


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## sassaflash

waresbear said:


> Off topic, but Sassaflash you have ultra cute toes!!!


lol!! thanks.. I have tiny short & fat toes lol


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## kitten_Val

sassaflash said:


> they said their horses could only take about 120lbs


Simply WOW! :shock: I guess I'll NEVER be too light for my little qh then as I'm way over 120 lbs (especially with my height).


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## Britt

Wow... That's... wow.

I would also weigh too much for their horses, as I'm 135 lbs... and people are always telling me I'm too bony and thin. 


Like some other people have stated on this thread, if you lived near me, you'd be more than welcome to come and ride. 

Don't let it get you down!


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## mnl764

Dont mention your weight, it isn't even an issue, 169 pounds is doable for any horse that is in a regular lesson program. Just show up.


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## texasgal

OK .. I apologize in advance for not reading the entire thread because I couldn't get past this.

When I was GROSSLY thin .. I weighed 128.

I don't consider myself a plus size at 170.... eeeeeek. maybe I'm just in denial ... lol .. but my Arabian carries me like I'm NOTHING ....

Ridiculous..

{{{hugs}}}


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## LetAGrlShowU

I too felt that was ridiculous. Yes, weight limits are set for reasons, but 120#?!! Unbelievable! I am under 5 ft and weight almost 30 lbs more than that I have a 14.2 pony and a 14.3 QH/Pinto.

I am glad you continued looking. Your body shot says, you are not flabby and unfit. You look good in my opinion. Congrats on the weight loss too! Keep us posted.


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## Cacowgirl

You look fine in your pic & if you have already lost 10 more pounds-I'll bet you need to go clothes shopping! My horses are seniors, 14.1 & 15.1 & they would do fine w/your weight.


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## mnl764

Palomine said:


> While I think the 120 is a bit low, I have to commend barns that will set a limit. The wear and tear on a horses back is something many overweight riders simply don't want to hear, both in terms of their saddle fit, or the soreness issues the horse may be having.
> 
> And it could also be that by setting limit this low, they are avoiding the "I only weigh 10 lbs more" deal too.
> 
> And without seeing you of course I can't be sure, but is your balance badly off because of your weight. If you are 6 ft tall, and 169? Big difference from being 5 ft tall and 169 and your gait may show that?
> 
> Many variables here, as well as barn may have had horses ruined due to someone's weight and not be willing to chance that again.
> 
> And something else to consider is this.
> 
> They may have had such bad experiences with overweight riders they are simply not willing to deal with them anymore. What I am talking about, is the rider is not improving due more than anything else, to their weight.
> 
> They aren't posting, they are hauling themselves out of the saddle by the reins. Their weight issues ruin the saddles, since they are over the cantle and pommel, and the horses are sore backed after these riders are on them.
> 
> And those riders? 9 times out of 10 will reject any criticism about their riding, and refuse to do anything to correct it too. Or play the "oh you are mean" card when it is pointed out that weight does make a difference.
> 
> Not saying you are one of these, but the odds are very high that they have had people like that, and are simply avoiding it at all costs in the future.


I think you are making up excuses...everything you said can occur in any size rider. Some people progress slowly due to confidence issues. All sizes of newbies tend to haul on the reins and balance has nothing to do with weight. Also, many stables stick a rider in whatever saddle they have fitted to a particular horse regardless of rider size, saddle wear is going to occur when it isn't properly fitted to the rider and horse. I do agree that weight can affect the way the rider feels, flexibility, stamina etc...but this stable sounds like nutters!!!! My trainer suggested I should tone up my core, it was a little flabby, so I did. I think its unfair to make generalizations or even to try and rationalize the behavior of these stables.


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## Lunarflowermaiden

What kind of adults are these barns taking? 

I volunteer for a therapeutic riding program, and their weight limit isn't anywhere near that (and depends on the horse). I think we may have some riders close to 200 pounds, who ride our sturdier horses (the draft cross mostly).

The only ones that have any sort of strict weight limit are the pony, and are two really old horses (one isn't even really used, and needs to go somewhere to retire).


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## Country Woman

I am 182 lbs and still losing 
I rode an Arab mare who is 14:3 and I was ok on her 
Her owner said I was not to big for her


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## nvr2many

:evil:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo, Don't get me started!:evil:


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## nvr2many

texasgal said:


> OK .. I apologize in advance for not reading the entire thread because I couldn't get past this.
> 
> When I was GROSSLY thin .. I weighed 128.
> 
> I don't consider myself a plus size at 170.... eeeeeek. maybe I'm just in denial ... lol .. but my Arabian carries me like I'm NOTHING ....
> 
> Ridiculous..
> 
> {{{hugs}}}


Yep, when I was a grossly thing fanatic in a size four I weighed 135, im 5'8". :shock:


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## sirgalahadkem

Ok I weigh about 271 and losing after finding out I'm diabetic and eating right. I ride a 15-15.2 hand paint gelding and he's perfectly fine with me!!! My friend who is 6'5" and 280 rides him also with no problems. By the way, my horse is barefoot sound and passes every vet check (I do twice a year because I am concerned about him handling my weight).


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## trvlingheart

I think it does depend on the horse to an extent, but I find it very odd that they put a 120lb weight limit out there in general, you'd have to have a very tiny horse or a very sickly horse (and I'd then question if it should be ridden at all by a student at that point; because even a hundred pounds on the back of a horse with spinal issues isn't a good thing.). 

When I was constantly riding my POA/Arab crosses who are just over pony size by inches I weighed 170 at my lightest and I am 5'2" . Currently I am 220 and volunteer at a rescue that uses their rehabilitated horses for lessons and they have no issue with me riding and training. 

I would look extremely sickly at 120, in fact my goal is to get back down to 170 and that is it. I didn't read through all the posts, but I read through a few and it looks like you found a place to ride, I'm happy to hear that.


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## sirgalahadkem

my 10 year old nephew is 120 pounds... what would he ride in like 6 months from now if that were the limit???


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## nvr2many

I in no way mean this rude. Buttttttttttttttt, the norm is not 120 lbs. That is kids weight. If we all had to weigh 120 lbs to ride, no horses would be ridden. Oh and Sirgalahadkem, you look great. Was it your boy that I saw saying you rescued him two years ago??


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## sirgalahadkem

nvr2many said:


> I in no way mean this rude. Buttttttttttttttt, the norm is not 120 lbs. That is kids weight. If we all had to weigh 120 lbs to ride, no horses would be ridden. Oh and Sirgalahadkem, you look great. Was it your boy that I saw saying you rescued him two years ago??


yeah that was him.


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## Raven12

*sassaflash*

so maybe you asked the wrong people...:-(..some people just dont like to share their horses:-( 
find a stable that has lessons that you can afford,,, and a schedule that works for you! The stable that I board at is great at that.. the owners are wonderful once you talk to them about your goals and finances..
Dont give up and happy riding:wink:


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