# Feeling held back



## farrieremily (Jul 8, 2018)

I wouldn’t think so but you really need to talk with your instructor. 
Ask what they are looking for or expect from you before you do more canter work and canter off a line.


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## gottatrot (Jan 9, 2011)

No...good grief. Unless perhaps you started when you were four. Even then, you'd be off the lunge by now.

Not sure about the reasons. Is it possible the instructor does not have a horse safe to canter off the line? Maybe the horse bucks or runs off when not managed.

I would have found a new instructor two years and six months ago.


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## Lana216 (Dec 20, 2020)

farrieremily said:


> I wouldn’t think so but you really need to talk with your instructor.
> Ask what they are looking for or expect from you before you do more canter work and canter off a line.


Thank you for your response! My instructor has a list of things you need to be strong in before you can canter off the lunge line. On the list are things like having a balanced seat, having good posture, learning about correct leads, lateral movements, learning about how horses communicate, “advanced ground work”, lunging, bending, and introducing cavalettis (which she also has not introduced me to) I feel pretty confident in the rest of those things, so I guess it comes down to “does she not think I’m ready” or “does she just not want to teach me”


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## Lana216 (Dec 20, 2020)

gottatrot said:


> No...good grief. Unless perhaps you started when you were four. Even then, you'd be off the lunge by now.
> 
> Not sure about the reasons. Is it possible the instructor does not have a horse safe to canter off the line? Maybe the horse bucks or runs off when not managed.
> 
> I would have found a new instructor two years and six months ago.


Thank you for your response! No, I can safely tell you that I was not 4. I started when I was about 11 or 12, and I’m now almost 16. I would completely understand if there wasn’t a safe horse to canter off the line, but that’s not the case. In fact, I’ve done the “advanced” summer camp at this barn, and other girls did canter work off lunge line in front of me.


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## farrieremily (Jul 8, 2018)

Wow! That’s one heck of a list and while those _are_ all great things to learn and practice it seems a bit much to have to do it all before simply cantering around.

Maybe your instructor has dreams of coaching only future olympic athletes and grand prix champions

But truthfully if she hasn’t been able to teach you her own requirements in that length of time her technique is off or she likes doing easy lessons for ever for $$$ and you never move on.

Even if someone isn’t learning well and will never ride very well (barring disability reasons) you let them move on. They may fall off and keep going, they may fall off and decide they aren’t a rider, they may focus harder in the basics to improve, they may be perfectly happy how they are and just want to ride but you give them the chance.

You’re more patient than I would have been.


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## Lana216 (Dec 20, 2020)

farrieremily said:


> Wow! That’s one heck of a list and while those _are_ all great things to learn and practice it seems a bit much to have to do it all before simply cantering around.
> 
> Maybe your instructor has dreams of coaching only future olympic athletes and grand prix champions
> 
> ...


Well, up until now, I was starting to think this was a normal amount of time before learning to canter! I’ve also been trying to be patient, but as time goes on, I’m becoming less so. I think I may try taking even just a couple of lessons somewhere else to see how it works in another place.


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## Horsef (May 1, 2014)

It also isn’t safe for you not to know how to canter. Horses will sometimes canter without you asking them to and sometimes they don’t want to stop. You have to know how to stay in the saddle if that happens. Even if you only practice on the lunge line for a while which most people do. But you need to practice for sure.


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

I'm UK based and live in the capital - basically schools are held to SERIOUSLY STRICT standards. In one of our lessons we were asked if we would mind a newly turned 4 year old with us, child that is. She was TINY on the most adorable Shetland. She could trot independently around the arena when it was her turn. Her seat wasn't the best but even she was allowed to canter following another and had a chance to try herself. In a group lesson! The instructor/establishment owner trusted the shetland to care for her and had been teaching this girl for a year, deeming her good enough to join in. So yes, I think after these years you should be allowed to canter in the arena off the lunge. Saying that where an older rider like a teenager/adult has been kept on the lunge it has usually been because of four things in my experience:

- horse doesn't tolerate bounciness or poor hands resulting in them getting upset/bucking. Some riders struggle to sit deep/relax and some horses are horrendous to sit transitions

- horse is nervous or takes advantage and bolts off and cannot be trusted with a less experienced rider. Steering is usually terrible when learning canter off the lunge but a good school horse might take to just cutting off corners at worst. Where the instructor is a regular face horses usually find comfort in their presence and listening to voice commands where the rider is distracted/learning something new. 

- instructor owns/trains the horse and doesn't want the rider to "ruin" it

I've seen all the above. And yes I think its important to be familiar with all the gaits for both you safety. Learning to steer and control speed at all gaits. I have ridden a lot of places and some I definitely felt were holding me back/others for the sake of raking in more $$ of lessons. Others worry riders get bored and progress them faster than their ability resulting in people galloping when they can barely trot and couldn't steer or communicate with their horse if they were alone and their life depended on it.

I think you've outgrown this place given the years you've been here. There should always be something new and exciting to learn or practice!


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## ~Wildheart~ (Nov 17, 2020)

I didn’t have actual riding lessons until I was in second grade, before that I just rode bareback at all gaits around the farm. When I started lessons the instructor had me on the lunge line for less than a year when cantering, just to improve my seat and stuff, then she took me off. I would think after 3 years you should be cantering off line.


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## trailhorserider (Oct 13, 2009)

While once a week (and no summer) isn't very much riding, by golly, after 3 years, you should be able to canter. Even if it isn't pretty, it would be good just to experience the gait off the lunge line. I feel you've earned it. 

The list of demands, while "nice" is sort of unrealistic. I know people who saddle break horses that have never learned all that. "I" have never learned all that. When I was a kid, I would ride rental horses (because I didn't have my own) and I remember going out a few times when it was just me and the guide, and getting to canter a little behind the guide (because the rental horse would just follow) and I had zero lessons and really no skills at all.

I appreciate that your instructor is trying to do things "right," but I don't think 90% of us have learned to ride that strictly. As time goes on you can learn a lot more refined skills......like lateral work and leads, but I don't see why you can't simply canter once in a while while you learn those other things.

Maybe try to go on a trail ride somewhere, just for fun?


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## trailhorserider (Oct 13, 2009)

~Wildheart~ said:


> I didn’t have actual riding lessons until I was in second grade, before that I just rode bareback at all gaits around the farm.


I've been riding for over 20 years and can count the riding lessons I've had on my fingers..........but I go out trail riding, mostly by myself, all the time and ride all gaits. (Where is the smilie hiding under the chair in embarrassment?)


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## AragoASB (Jul 12, 2020)

Haha. My first horse, a 5 year old half Quarter Horse half Thoughrobred mare, took off galloping top speed across the field with me when I first got her.home. That mare loved to run and it was hang on to your hat. I rode her in the hills so much and just learned to balance and move with her. Never had a lesson and that mare lived 40 years. Now, 50 years and 14 horses later I am having riding lessons in dressage. My seat was too forward and I never developed soft hands. My trainer even put my horse into a bitless bridle for now because I was giving confusing extra signals on the bit.


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## Lana216 (Dec 20, 2020)

Horsef said:


> It also isn’t safe for you not to know how to canter. Horses will sometimes canter without you asking them to and sometimes they don’t want to stop. You have to know how to stay in the saddle if that happens. Even if you only practice on the lunge line for a while which most people do. But you need to practice for sure.


I have been able to practice a bit on a lunge line, but probably less than 10 times in the 3 years I’ve been riding.


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## Lana216 (Dec 20, 2020)

Horsef said:


> It also isn’t safe for you not to know how to canter. Horses will sometimes canter without you asking them to and sometimes they don’t want to stop. You have to know how to stay in the saddle if that happens. Even if you only practice on the lunge line for a while which most people do. But you need to practice for sure.


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## Lana216 (Dec 20, 2020)

Kalraii said:


> I'm UK based and live in the capital - basically schools are held to SERIOUSLY STRICT standards. In one of our lessons we were asked if we would mind a newly turned 4 year old with us, child that is. She was TINY on the most adorable Shetland. She could trot independently around the arena when it was her turn. Her seat wasn't the best but even she was allowed to canter following another and had a chance to try herself. In a group lesson! The instructor/establishment owner trusted the shetland to care for her and had been teaching this girl for a year, deeming her good enough to join in. So yes, I think after these years you should be allowed to canter in the arena off the lunge. Saying that where an older rider like a teenager/adult has been kept on the lunge it has usually been because of four things in my experience:
> 
> - horse doesn't tolerate bounciness or poor hands resulting in them getting upset/bucking. Some riders struggle to sit deep/relax and some horses are horrendous to sit transitions
> 
> ...


I would absolutely understand if any of these were a problem in my case. Unfortunately for me, I can’t quite seem to pinpoint the reason. The horse I ride in my lessons is a very well trained horse who has been at the farm for many years, and whenever I do get the chance to canter on the lunge line, my instructor always says that I had good transitions and sit well. I’ve talked to my mom, and I may try a few lessons elsewhere just to see if It would feel less restrictive. I do however, think it could possibly be related to the fact that I do a group lesson with two 10 year olds who started riding about a year after me. That being said, she (my instructor) has us all work on the same things during lessons. (Which adds more to my feelings of being held back)


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## Lana216 (Dec 20, 2020)

~Wildheart~ said:


> I didn’t have actual riding lessons until I was in second grade, before that I just rode bareback at all gaits around the farm. When I started lessons the instructor had me on the lunge line for less than a year when cantering, just to improve my seat and stuff, then she took me off. I would think after 3 years you should be cantering off line.


Well, I’m honestly just glad to hear that I’m not just feeling bored and eager, but rather that I may actually be being held back. It is unfortunate, but good to know!


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## Lana216 (Dec 20, 2020)

trailhorserider said:


> While once a week (and no summer) isn't very much riding, by golly, after 3 years, you should be able to canter. Even if it isn't pretty, it would be good just to experience the gait off the lunge line. I feel you've earned it.
> 
> The list of demands, while "nice" is sort of unrealistic. I know people who saddle break horses that have never learned all that. "I" have never learned all that. When I was a kid, I would ride rental horses (because I didn't have my own) and I remember going out a few times when it was just me and the guide, and getting to canter a little behind the guide (because the rental horse would just follow) and I had zero lessons and really no skills at all.
> 
> ...


I have gone on one trail ride last February, I had a lot of fun, and the “leaders” of the ride let everyone trot. I’m hoping that I’m just getting a little ahead of myself and I’ll learn soon, but I am seriously considering taking a few lessons at a different barn.


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## marymane (Feb 2, 2020)

A person should walk before they run...but they can't ever learn to run by only ever walking. Three years seems excessive IMO. If I have my math right (and assuming your lessons are about an hour long) that's _156 hours in the saddle_. Sure, it's not as much as someone who gets the chance to ride more than just once a week but IMO that's plenty enough for you to advance if you feel confident and ready for it. If you have all the other things down reasonably well I don't see why you can't progress further at this point and I agree with others you should test out some other instructors to see how the feel is different. I wonder if perhaps private lessons vs. the group lessons would make a difference?

Everyone is always constantly learning and finding things to improve on. If you wait until each little thing is absolutely perfect before working on something else then nothing else will likely ever get worked on. Perfectionism is the end to growth. I respect lesson programs that have a strict way of progressing students but I think there's a difference between that and, based on the information in this post, not allowing a student to progress for seemingly no reason.

Also, I think that a horse that's unreliable off the lunge at any gait shouldn't be a lesson horse. So I hope that's not the case here. IME the only reason instructors use the lunge is so that the student's focus on getting balanced and having a good seat so that they never learn to rely on the reins for balance and the habit never gets a chance to develop. But this doesn't sound like a case where that would be, seeing you've taken the lessons for so long now. But what do I know? I've taken lessons but not as extensively as others or with as many different instructors.

@trailhorserider Don't feel embarrassed! I think that's the case for a lot of people who just trail ride. And I personally see nothing wrong with it if alls well that ends well. There is a lot of "things should be done this way" we all hear a lot but that's not how reality often works out and some of us merely don't have the resources or options (all of the lesson barns "near me" are close to and over an hour away, meaning I'd have to take a three hour at least chunk out of my day so it's just not something I can do right now with my work schedule...unless those barns offer lessons at 8 or 9 at night...) I'm hoping to find some sort of online program perhaps where someone can watch a video of you riding and offer critique. Not as good as an in person lesson but at least it's something that would be doable for me.


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## Jolly101 (Jul 2, 2018)

Definitely not the norm. While everyone learns at their own pace, 3 years is a long time to not even try the canter outside the lunge line. I'd definitely try a lesson elsewhere.


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## Kalraii (Jul 28, 2015)

Lana216 said:


> I would absolutely understand if any of these were a problem in my case. Unfortunately for me, I can’t quite seem to pinpoint the reason. The horse I ride in my lessons is a very well trained horse who has been at the farm for many years, and whenever I do get the chance to canter on the lunge line, my instructor always says that I had good transitions and sit well. I’ve talked to my mom, and I may try a few lessons elsewhere just to see if It would feel less restrictive. I do however, think it could possibly be related to the fact that I do a group lesson with two 10 year olds who started riding about a year after me. That being said, she (my instructor) has us all work on the same things during lessons. (Which adds more to my feelings of being held back)


OH YES I've experienced this. "Ah you don't mind us bringing someone less experienced right RIGHT? Coz we'd have to slow down the lesson.. but you DON'T MIND RIGHT even though we're gonna charge you full price, right?" Once sure. But regularly? No. A real shame.


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## Lana216 (Dec 20, 2020)

marymane said:


> A person should walk before they run...but they can't ever learn to run by only ever walking. Three years seems excessive IMO. If I have my math right (and assuming your lessons are about an hour long) that's _156 hours in the saddle_. Sure, it's not as much as someone who gets the chance to ride more than just once a week but IMO that's plenty enough for you to advance if you feel confident and ready for it. If you have all the other things down reasonably well I don't see why you can't progress further at this point and I agree with others you should test out some other instructors to see how the feel is different. I wonder if perhaps private lessons vs. the group lessons would make a difference?
> 
> Everyone is always constantly learning and finding things to improve on. If you wait until each little thing is absolutely perfect before working on something else then nothing else will likely ever get worked on. Perfectionism is the end to growth. I respect lesson programs that have a strict way of progressing students but I think there's a difference between that and, based on the information in this post, not allowing a student to progress for seemingly no reason.
> 
> ...


I think your thought of group lessons vs. private lessons makes a good point. I may see if I could get a few lessons in elsewhere to see how it goes. I also think you made good points about the difference between structured learning and just not teaching new things! Thank you!


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## Lana216 (Dec 20, 2020)

Jolly101 said:


> Definitely not the norm. While everyone learns at their own pace, 3 years is a long time to not even try the canter outside the lunge line. I'd definitely try a lesson elsewhere.


While it’s unfortunate that it’s taken me this long to question the length of time it’s taken, I’m glad that I finally feel that I’m not just being ambitious and impatient! Thanks for your response!


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## Lana216 (Dec 20, 2020)

Kalraii said:


> OH YES I've experienced this. "Ah you don't mind us bringing someone less experienced right RIGHT? Coz we'd have to slow down the lesson.. but you DON'T MIND RIGHT even though we're gonna charge you full price, right?" Once sure. But regularly? No. A real shame.


Doesn’t it drive you crazy! It’s okay in the beginning until you start feeling like they just pushed your learning to the side! Also, one of the 10 year olds is my younger sister. She (of course) had never shown interest until I did. I’d say I got a good 8-12 month leg up on her. At first I worked somewhat on my own things, but then, my sisters friend from school also started doing the lessons with us. When this happened is when I just started doing the same things they were doing. I didn’t even canter on the lunge line for the first time until about 2(ish) years into my lessons.


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## Jolly101 (Jul 2, 2018)

Lana216 said:


> While it’s unfortunate that it’s taken me this long to question the length of time it’s taken, I’m glad that I finally feel that I’m not just being ambitious and impatient! Thanks for your response!


 I think most of us have been there too! I know that I sure have, at least. The first lesson always takes the longest, but you'll learn to be more aware of those things quicker after this.


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## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

It sounds like you may have outgrown this place - which is totally OK. When I was starting to ride, I moved on a few times from lesson barns because well, some trainers just held me back. I would talk to your trainer, but if things don't change, nothing wrong with continuing your riding education elsewhere.


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## Lana216 (Dec 20, 2020)

PoptartShop said:


> It sounds like you may have outgrown this place - which is totally OK. When I was starting to ride, I moved on a few times from lesson barns because well, some trainers just held me back. I would talk to your trainer, but if things don't change, nothing wrong with continuing your riding education elsewhere.


Thank you! I think I’ve decided on doing just that, and trying a few lessons at other barns!


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