# Very frustrated beginner



## gingerscout (Jan 18, 2012)

Personally I think if your unhappy let it be known, tell them, If you are having trouble and feeling rushed and not comfortable then its not going to be enjoyable for you.. it amazes me how fast the english world wants to rush riders.. have to trot in 1st lesson, learn to jump within a week.. etc.. seriously.. I walked for 6 months..ha ha ha.. not saying everyone is like that.. but I read an awful lot of stories here that sound similar to yours.. I feel I am being rushed, why am I trotting on 1st lesson..etc


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## edf (Dec 20, 2013)

First: NO i do NOT think you are too old to learn! May it take you a little longer to learn? Perhaps- but I don't necessarily think its due to your age.

What issues are you having with posting? Are you achy/stiff and therefore have trouble with the movement of posting? If so, maybe posting then could be difficult due to age. But you cn also make sure you are stretching out very good before your lesson. Is your difficulty due to lack of muscle needed? Trust me, you use a lot more muscle than youthink to ride! More muscle will come with riding, but you could also work on strengthening your core muscles to help.

If you seem to just not be able to pick up th erhythm- well, that comes with time as well. When I first started out a while ago in high school, I was just out of tempo- my posting was slow and it was like I was changing diagonals all the time. New horses take time to adjust/feel the rhythm as well. You can also look down to the outside front shoulder to help- when that shoulder comes forward- you come up. Yes, ideally you should look forward, but if you need help, you can look down. You can also ask the trainer to say 'up' to you when you should be up to help get the feel. But once again, it does take time to get the feel of it.

If you think you are moving too fast- say something. I feel sometimes instructors may fear if they go too slow- the people being taught may feel being ripped off, not progressing fast enough and the such. Ask to work on things to lead up to the posting trot. Make sure you are in good position, maybe do 2-point some. Heck- you can practice posting at the walk- when the outside shoulder comes up, rise up- when it comes down, go down. Also, when the time is right to start working on the posting trot- see if you can do it on th elunge line so you can focus more on posting and less on steering so you can get the posting down.

What constitutes as a good rider? A good beginner rider, in my opinion, is a rider who has the desire to learn how to communicate and balance on a horse- one who cares for the comfort of the horse as well as being fair and working as a team. A beginner rider may not be perfect, but works to improve on what needs to be improved on for the health of the horse and for good horsemanship. 

Yeah, things may not be going perfect, but this is a new sport you are learning, and you have to simply learn things. You are gonna make mistakes, but that is a part of learning. Your horse may be taking advantage of a new rider who doesn't know any better- or is simply doing things because you arent giving the best signals/no signals, but in time, it will come. Generally speaking, you only had three lessons- I sure didn't pick up posting in three lessons. It takes practice, time, and dedication to improve on riding. Yeah, some people may pick it up faster, but me- starting riding again at age 33, wasn't one of them...LOL!

Go at your own pace an ddon't put unrealistic expectations on yourself. Just plan to enjoy the ride and try to learn one new thing- even if its really small-a lesson, and work from there.


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## SansPeurDansLaSelle (May 6, 2013)

If you're feeling rushed just let your instructor know that you want to spend some more time building your balance, strength, and skills before focusing on posting the trot. In my opinion, a lot of instructors in the English world like to focus on getting students comfortable with posting quickly because it is safer in an English saddle. A Western saddle holds you in a lot more at the trot than an English one does and I know it makes me more comfortable when beginning riders can at least somewhat follow the rhythm of the trot rather than looking like they might bounce right off all the time.

That being said I think it is pretty important to spend a lot of time focusing on strength and balance exercises at the walk, especially if you don't mind staying at a slower gait. Tell your instructor you want to practice your two-point and posting at the walk for awhile until you feel comfortable starting back up at the trot. A lot of instructors also want you to feel like you are getting your money's worth out of your lessons so they want you to feel like you are progressing, your instructor should have no problem slowing everything down if you express a desire to do so.

ETA: My parents both took up riding in their fifties and have now gone on cross-country rides in Ireland, Spain, and Wales and ride and jump regularly on their own horses, so no it's never too late to learn!


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## horseluvr2524 (Sep 17, 2013)

Don't worry, we've all been there!

One thing that helped me immensely was lunge lessons. It's where you are on the horse in the saddle as normal, but instead of you controlling the horse by the reins, your trainer controls the horse with the use of a very long rope called a lunge line. Generally, the trainer has the horse go in circles around them at whatever pace they choose, and then instructs you how to sit or post. It is much easier, because then you can focus on your riding, while the trainer controls the horse and where it goes.

I could not sit a canter to save my life until I had many of those. So definitely ask your trainer about them. They really helped me develop what we call an 'independent seat', and I find it a cakewalk now to deal with a bucking, rearing, crowhopping, or bolting horse. OK, it's not always super easy for me to deal with those, but one thing I know is that I don't come off easy!


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

I started riding in my 50's....and I still suck at posting the trot....

_" All I know is that right know I am really questioning whether I can improve enough to actually enjoy it, which was my goal to begin with."

_I think so. How bad do want to do this? Quitting is easy.....

I rode a gaited horse the first 5 years of so, and didn't have to worry with a trot.....

After DW got sick I started riding her quarter horses......did I mention I think the trot is the devils gait?

Anyway, I do it...but I don't like it....and would rather ask for a slow canter that fuss with the trot....trotting makes for a long day IMO.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

I would just slow down just like when you are teaching the horse something new. Do it slow first and when you feel in control, pick up a little speed. You can learn this. 
My 26 year old niece is just beginning to pick up some speed and enjoying it. She's been trail riding with me (every once in a while) and up until recently we have only walked. After a year and a half we've finally started to trot and a little cantering. It just happened one day and it was exhilarating to her. If we would have done that on day one she would have been really uncomfortable and worried about it.
There is quite a lot to learn and it won't serve you well to try to learn it at higher speeds.


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## Chasin Ponies (Dec 25, 2013)

Yes, you are being rushed and _no, you are NOT too old to learn._ You have simply chosen an instructor who is pushing too hard. Does she teach mostly kids? Sometimes an instructor will push kids too hard because the parents are expecting quick results and she may be in that mode with you.


I never push posting on anyone until students have _very_ good basics and after 5 lessons, you are NOT expected to have those down pat. It's one thing to have you just give it a try for a few minutes but this is _very_ early in the game for posting.


Definitely have a talk with the instructor and remind her that trail riding is your ultimate goal, not showing and you are feeling rushed and frustrated. If she doesn't get it, start looking for someone different. Your instincts are correct-you _are _being rushed.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

At 55 y.o. (I'm 59 y.o.), I think you need to let the trainer know that you are frustrated and want to back up several steps. Yes, walking for the whole lesson will be boring for all of you, but you are the student and need to proceed at a pace you're comfortable with. At 55, I'm sure you have a lot of the same thoughts I have when I get on a horse. What can I do to make sure I don't get hurt? How can I avoid coming off, because I don't bounce so well anymore? Those are 2 things that are first and foremost in my head every time I throw a leg over one of my horses. All of my horses are young and beginners themselves, so a lot of what I do is to bring them along and try not to get myself hurt in the process. As an older beginner rider, you need to brought along and not hurt in the process.

Walking and learning to steer are very important skills. Learning how to use your legs and seat to help drive the horse forward and speed up or slow down and stop are very important skills that you need to learn before you start trotting which, by it's very nature, will bounce you around and toss you off balance. Your trainer is probably young (even if well thought of and experienced) and she hasn't yet been where you are. You need to take care of you, first and foremost.


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## Acadianartist (Apr 21, 2015)

Posting on the FIRST lesson? Is the instructor insane? That's too fast, in my opinion.

I'm 46. Had horses in my youth, but then went without for decades. Last year, we bought my daughter a horse and I started taking lessons on it. I did maybe 6 lessons and was only starting to trot. It's really important for you to find your balance before you attempt to post! 

Fast forward to this year, I now have my own horse (so we have two) and ride when I can, but that might only happen once a week. I decided to sign up for a few more lessons this winter when the footing was too bad to ride at home. The lesson barn has an indoor. Back to posting, and this time, I'm much, much better at it. At home I mostly did trail riding, but was able to find my balance and just get comfortable following the rhythms of each gait. After about 6 more lessons, I can now post quite easily on the right diagonal. It just takes time, and the older we get, the harder it is for our bodies to adapt quickly to using muscles we've never used before. 

My advice: find a new instructor, one that is willing to progress more slowly. If you feel you are just bouncing around, then you probably are. My coach always says, practice doesn't make perfect, PERFECT practice makes perfect. In other words, just doing the same thing over and over again doesn't mean you'll get better at it if you're doing it wrong. Getting it right, even if just for a few seconds, helps you develop muscle memory so you begin to feel the RIGHT way to do it and can hold it longer and longer each lesson. If you don't feel you are getting it, but your instructor is just telling you to keep doing it anyway in the hopes that you will eventually get it, it's just going to be frustrating for you and may even create bad habits. 

When you start to really work with the horse while posting, it will be almost effortless. Partly because your muscles will have had time to get stronger, but partly too because you are using the horse's energy to go up and down. It's a lovely feeling once it all comes together, and you will find you start to prefer posting to not posting at the trot. Hang in there.


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## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

I think the instructor is moving a bit fast. If I were her, I'd be working on walking and balance/position first before trotting and posting. You are certainly NOT too old to learn. Never too late, never too old.

I'd tell her she's moving a bit quick, but if not you may have to find a new instructor. Some instructors don't realize how fast they are moving, it's just the way they are. If after another lesson or so, you are still moving too fast I'd say get a new instructor. Plus, nobody wants to feel frustrated and discouraged within their first (or 50th!) riding lesson. 
It can take awhile to 'perfect' the posting trot. Plus, some horses are 'bumpier' than others. You have to go with the rhythm. She should not be moving so fast with you, especially since you've only just started. 

Nonetheless, walking work can teach you a lot. It will help you in the long run. Definitely talk to your instructor.


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## Alder (Feb 15, 2017)

I'm 61 and started riding about a year ago after a 42 year break (ack!). The big issue for me is strength. I don't think experienced riders realise how strong they are! Is there any way you can add some kind of workout between lessons? 
I have good days and bad days, sometimes I'm thrown all over, can't catch the rhythm of the horse, lose my stirrups etc. and other days it feels smoother.
I agree with what everyone is saying, you should talk to your teacher and tell her what you've told us.


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## trailhorserider (Oct 13, 2009)

I only skimmed the other replies, so forgive me if this was covered, but you don't have to learn to post the trot to trail ride. I've been trail riding for over 20 years and never learned to post. I've tried it a few times but never learned it. I ride western and sit the trot. I focus on slowing and collecting the horse a bit to keep it as smooth as possible. And now I have Missouri Fox Trotters which are gaited so even better! But most of my riding has been done on regular trotting horses and I mostly trail ride at a walk and trot/canter a little just for fun.

So you could just go western, sit the trot, mainly walk the trails, and be completely happy. :smile: It depends on what your trail riding goals are. I just want to relax and enjoy nature with a little trotting here and there.


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## Acadianartist (Apr 21, 2015)

Alder said:


> I'm 61 and started riding about a year ago after a 42 year break (ack!). The big issue for me is strength. I don't think experienced riders realise how strong they are! Is there any way you can add some kind of workout between lessons?
> I have good days and bad days, sometimes I'm thrown all over, can't catch the rhythm of the horse, lose my stirrups etc. and other days it feels smoother.
> I agree with what everyone is saying, you should talk to your teacher and tell her what you've told us.


Yoga helps. Pilates too, if you can do that, but it's a little harder. I can't be bothered to drive to a yoga class a few times a week, so I started doing some at home. Google "Yoga with Adriene" - I'm doing the 31 day Revolution. Only a few minutes a day, but really helps build your core muscles. Those are usually the more difficult ones to tone for us middle-aged folks, because most of us don't use those muscles much. Many riders think it's all in the leg, but really, it's all in the core.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

Alder said:


> I'm 61 and started riding about a year ago after a 42 year break (ack!). The big issue for me is strength. I don't think experienced riders realise how strong they are! Is there any way you can add some kind of workout between lessons?
> I have good days and bad days, sometimes I'm thrown all over, can't catch the rhythm of the horse, lose my stirrups etc. and other days it feels smoother.
> I agree with what everyone is saying, you should talk to your teacher and tell her what you've told us.


I do Tai Chi every day and 30 mins on an elliptical stepper.


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## Luce73 (Dec 7, 2012)

I would talk to your trainer about slowing down a bit if you feel youre being rushed. But trotting on the first lesson is pretty common, i wouldnt necessarily see that as rushing a student. Anyway, youre paying for lessons, dont be afraid to talk to your trainer to have them tailored to what you want and need. 

As for posting, it took me about 3 months to get that down in the proper position, and yes, you will feel like a ragdoll for ages. Maybe your trainer can help you by counting 1-2, 1-2 so you know when to move up and when to sit back down? Also for me it really helped to think, that rather than up I was being pulled diagonally forward and up by a string coming from my bellybutton. It's much more of a forward-back movement than it seems when youre first starting, and going too much 'up' rather than up and forward can tip your balance too far back and make it really uncomfortable and hard!! Disregard that comment if it confuses you though, I'm sure your trainer can explain better than me


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

hi. rode a bit as a kid, then nothing until age 41. am now 59. 

I started to 'really' learn to ride at 41. I clearly remember posting and feeling that my position was seriously precarious. I'd get two or three 'good ones', then the tiniest bobble of the horse and I'd be off rythm and trying to catch up, and needing to grab mane to keep from falling back, or collapsing forward onto the horse's neck, etc.

over time, the 'good ones' got more frequent, and the bobbles less. but, while having the strength to post well takes time and is a gradual thing, 'gettting it' is a bit more like riding a bike: when you learn to ride a bike, you struggle, and fall, and wobble and fall and careen and feel like you're crashing around in total darkness , since it seems an impossible thing to balance on two skinny tires. then, all of a sudden, you just 'get it'. and, suddenly you know what it feels like, and you'll never forget.

posting is a bit like that. you click into how to move WITH the hrose, and suddenly it is only the lack of strength that limits you. you do improve your posting, but once you 'have it', you have it. 
you must continue bshing around in the dark about until you stumble upon it. teacher can tell you how it's done, but you'll have to 'find it' yourself. have faith. you will.


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## Avna (Jul 11, 2015)

I rode for a few years as a kid and had the very basic moves down (as well as the confidence, which is more than half the battle), but never took a lesson until I was nearly sixty. 2 years later, I am a MUCH better rider. No longer do I flop all over like a fish, lose my stirrups, stick my butt out like a duck, or crouch over my horse's withers. I've got a long way to go, but I enjoy all of it. 

Yes, it's your core muscles you need. If you have those, you won't have to use all the ones that are getting sore now.


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## Horsef (May 1, 2014)

trailhorserider said:


> I only skimmed the other replies, so forgive me if this was covered, but you don't have to learn to post the trot to trail ride. I've been trail riding for over 20 years and never learned to post. I've tried it a few times but never learned it. I ride western and sit the trot. I focus on slowing and collecting the horse a bit to keep it as smooth as possible. And now I have Missouri Fox Trotters which are gaited so even better! But most of my riding has been done on regular trotting horses and I mostly trail ride at a walk and trot/canter a little just for fun.
> 
> So you could just go western, sit the trot, mainly walk the trails, and be completely happy. :smile: It depends on what your trail riding goals are. I just want to relax and enjoy nature with a little trotting here and there.


It really depends on how comfortable the horse is. Some horses have a very strong action and it takes a lot of skill and strength to sit to their trot. My mare is one of those. She is an absolute angel but I can't put any beginners on her because they would be catapulted within a few steps. Maybe the school horse OP is riding is rather uncomfortable and that's why the instructor has started with posting straight away.


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## OldEnduranceRider (Feb 17, 2017)

Hmm, is there a western barn, or even a rental stables that you could trade lessons for cleaning stalls/paddocks? I'm thinking you would do just as well, especially since you just want to trail ride for fun. And, if you were to volunteer at a rental stables, you'll learn more about caring for horses. I'll bet they'd just let you hang out too, you'll learn to tack up a horse, brush, and all kinds of stuff. 


Happy Trails!!!


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## jgnmoose (May 27, 2015)

You might find Westerrn more to your liking if your real goal is trail riding.

Posting is technically a Hunter Jumper thing, but lots of disciplines do it, even Western sometimes. 

Posting is not easy. The good thing about it is it builds riding strength, timing and balance. Think of it like yoga, in a saddle.

Try riding a full lap around an arena standing in the stirrups in a western saddle. That is even harder, believe it or not.

Stick with it. Riding horses well is a skill and it takes time.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

I'm middle aged as well (42) and you are certainly not too old. Many of the adults at the barn where I take lessons are older than me (and you). I'm assuming you are not training for something that is coming up in the next few months, so there's no rush! Definitely talk to your instructor about slowing down a bit. They are probably used to the mindset of most people, which is to learn new things as fast as possible. You are wanting to do things RIGHT, which is a better attitude. 

Posting is hard at first. Really hard. It takes strength and coordination and balance and meanwhile you're trying to control a 1000 lb+ animal. Don't be discouraged. I DO think it's a good thing to know how to do no matter what discipline...most western riders I've seen still post because it's more comfortable.


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## LoriF (Apr 3, 2015)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> I do Tai Chi every day and 30 mins on an elliptical stepper.


I can see where practicing tai chi would help greatly when working with horses.


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## SteadyOn (Mar 5, 2017)

I'd say, honestly... let it be hard for a while. Let it kind of suck. It's worth it! You will push through, things will click, and you'll surprise yourself when they start to.

Even if your aim is "just" to trail ride, the lessons will pay off. Trail riding can be some of the most challenging and potentially dangerous riding you can do, so having strength, flexibility, know-how, and a great seat will absolutely pay off. Also make sure you cover what to do with spooking, tripping, and other unpredictable situations so you'll know what to do when they crop up out in the open. Even the most "dead broke" horse could step on a wasp's nest, or something of that kind, and have who-knows-what reaction. Your lessons will pay off, for your safety and for your horse's.

I've had over a decade of lessons, on and off, and put in a ton of trail miles. There are still plenty of days when I feel like an incompetent rag doll when I ride. But things click more and more and more often, and that's how I chart my own progress. Give yourself the chance to push through and find those moments.

Regarding posting, specifically, there are a couple of things that may help, if your instructor hasn't already covered them:

-Don't try to rise up too high. Let the horse push you up and then turn that push into a bit of an up and forward motion, but you don't have to go that far!! Your posting height will vary from horse to horse: some will have a very smooth, level trot, and you won't move as much on those. Bouncier horses will push you up more. Let most of the motion come from the horse. You're just adding a bit of deliberate-ness to make that motion work for you.

-Don't push off your stirrups to rise -- again, let most of the rising come from the horse's motion. Use the backs of your thighs to help support you, and feel your weight push down and back into your heels.

-Count while you post. Up -- One!, down -- Two! It's easier to find the rhythm if you're counting One-Two-One-Two-One-Two out loud as you go around. Even if you feel really silly doing it.

-One-hand your reins and use your other hand to grab the front of the saddle, some mane, or a neck strap, to help stabilize you while you figure out the motion. If you feel you can't do this AND control the horse at the same time, ask the instructor to let you do this while she has the horse on a longe line so you can focus on finding your rhythm and not simultaneously worrying about everything else.

-Once you find a rhythm... Hum a tune. Think up a grocery list. Look around the ring and try to remember the letters as you ride past them... Do something to mentally distract yourself so you don't overthink, and your body will take over and start to commit the motion to muscle memory.

It really does get SO much better with practice!!! Posting becomes second nature. Any time I'm on a horse I *automatically* start posting the trot, without even thinking about it, and if I need to try to sit it instead, it's a deliberate act. You WILL get there!!!


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## Change (Jul 19, 2014)

I'm a primarily western rider, so will freely admit I know nothing about teaching how to ride English. With that said, whenever I've taught anyone to ride, I've tried to teach them to first SIT the trot, so they can feel the horse's motion. Then, as has been said before, you work on making that gait more comfortable for you and the horse by using the horse's motion to push you up and forward, then sink (don't drop) back into the saddle for the next rise. 

I still frequently sit through the jog into a trot until it becomes too fast to be comfortable. Then, it's just reflex and the horse's motion that causes me to post. Heck, sometimes - on my mare with the worst jack-hammer trot of all times - I'll just stand in the stirrups because it's a lot easier than sitting or trying to post!!

Oh - I should have said, even before getting to a trot, I want a newbie rider to be comfortable and balanced at a walk and jog - which includes using leg for turns, spending time with your feet out of the stirrups, closing your eyes at the walk to feel the motion of the horse. Trot doesn't happen until the new rider is secure and balanced and can feel the horse move. If you don't have that feel, the post is almost impossible.


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## Fatcatdogbog (Mar 22, 2017)

Thank you so much to everyone who posted. This was encouraging and super helpful!!


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