# Horse Story(Hoping to get it published when done) Feedback?



## englishcowgrl (Jan 24, 2007)

wow..thats really good :shock:


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## CrazyHorseChick (Oct 7, 2007)

THANKS!!! I think I go a little fast though, what do you think? 

Meg

By the way, sorry for all the spelling and grammer, I'm a freshman in highschool and I still havent got it down. lol


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## englishcowgrl (Jan 24, 2007)

i thinks it was really good....are you going to get the ture owners of the horses involved with the story?.....can't wait to read the rest


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## ~MavvyMyBeauty (Apr 16, 2007)

It's really good! Tell us more!


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## CrazyHorseChick (Oct 7, 2007)

Thanks you guys!!! I'm working on the second ch. now, I'll post it ASAP.=)

Yup! I am, but it dosnt come till later.


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## englishcowgrl (Jan 24, 2007)

can't wait


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## ashleigh_2904 (Dec 11, 2007)

Hey weres the rest? thats really good lol i wanna read more please  


-ashleigh-


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## HorsesAreForever (Nov 9, 2007)

omg! that was SOOOO good u need to post more and more and more! i couldnt stop reading it!


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## jazzyrider (Sep 16, 2007)

thats really good...*waits for more'

all i would say is yeah, you're rushing it a bit. before you write each part, close your eyes and visualise the scenario you are talking about. for example, when you described the barn you could talk about the trees, the sounds, the smells. create more of an image for the reader. the same with the part where you first saw the mare. describe her, her colour, her 'helpless eyes' etc etc tell us more about edward...the colour of his hair, his eyes, his smile and so on. just make sure with your story that you are creating the image for the reader that you see in your head 

having said all that, i really cant wait to hear more


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## ahearn (Jul 10, 2007)

We want more! We want more!! We want more!!!!


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## juniorxriderxo (Jan 5, 2008)

i can't wait for more!!!!! 
i read all of it.
great ideas.
i love it!!!!
please tell me when there is more.


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## wild_spot (Jan 30, 2008)

more? please?


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## Bucky's Buddy (Jan 27, 2008)

Okay, I want to read the rest! I would try to get more adjectives in there - describe a bit more. But, If you get too crazy with describing things, it can get boring. I like the happy medium, so you can make your own idea of what things look like. I also like to write, and I think you are doing great. 

If you think it's going along too fast, then that's your personal preference. I kinda need a bit more action - maybe a storm, a cop's visit to the barn, and narrow escapes. That's good, heart-pounding suspence!


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## PoptartShop (Jul 25, 2010)

Moreeeeee pleaseeee.  I really like it.


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## ilovemyhorsies (Mar 9, 2008)

its really good i have just 1 question......how come its forbidden to talk about horses? i don't understand....


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