# How do you overcome your own prejudices?



## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

I am prejudiced. Or at the very least, I prejudge and/or am not comfortable talking to/hanging out with some people. It is totally and completely based on something that has nothing to do with who they are as people, what their character is, what their morals are, goals, etc. etc. 

I know it. I, hopefully, don't show it. So far, no one has ever said anything to me about it and I know several people that I am "prejudiced" against. I always figured that if I just got to know them better I would get over it. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be working. Of all the people I can think of that I know with the characteristic that bothers me, at this moment, I can only think of one that I can sit down with, actually have a good time with and honestly say, "I like you."

I'm convinced I have some kind of mental block about it. How do I get past it? It seems so weird to be prejudiced, know it, not want to be, but still be prejudiced. And it's just that one characteristic. Honestly, anyone can be purple with pink polka dots and I just don't care.

The reason I am asking is because I have stopped riding with some people because of it. Seems like a really dumb reason.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Depends on what the quality is. If it's something like a personality trait that makes them annoying that's a lot different than hating someone because of their race.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

Definitely not a personality trait. I won't say what it is publicly as I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or make them defensive. It is not race either. 

It would be something similar to saying, "I don't like so-and-so because her hair is blonde" or curly, or straight, or whatever. That's not what it is, but a comparable example.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

What kind of off putting things have you been told about that characteristic? Something as a young child that while, as an adult you know better, no matter how you try you can't squash it?


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

Hmmm... definitely a couple of things, but I KNOW in my head that they are not true. Maybe I need to convince my subconscious somehow. But just thinking about it now makes me feel "icky." How weird is that?

There must be some kind of self-help books out there for this... maybe I should browse Chapters.ca.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

LOL! Well, if it's messing up your riding time because you won't/can't ride with certain people over something you KNOW is not true, yeah, I'd get some kind of help or counselling to deal with it. If it isn't messing with your life, I'd just move along.


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## EvilHorseOfDoom (Jun 17, 2012)

I think we all have prejudices of some kind - the important thing is how we manage them. I, for example, am a real reverse snob and will dislike people purely on the fact they are wealthy. I am not at all envious and there's nothing wrong with most of them, I just innately don't like wealthy people. But I do my best not to show it (a good idea as I have to professionally engage with many of them) and to overcome my prejudice and get to know the person.

I'm also prejudiced against girls who dress inappropriately, girls who have their hair in little topknots, girls who wear a lot of pink, guys who are image-conscious, large breed dogs, gaited horses, people with heavy American accents, mummy's boys, people who play golf and men with curly hair. That is a lot of prejudices! I just recognise that I'm the one with the problem, not them :lol:


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

Dreamcatcher - it's definitely not messing with my life. I do prefer to ride alone anyway, but I just feel like I'm a bad person for it.

Evil -- LOL. I don't consider not liking dressing styles to be a unrealistic prejudice. How someone dresses, regardless of their financial standing, definitely says something about their personality. But, the wealthy, accents, men with curly hair... those are along the lines of my problem. I'm glad I am not alone.


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## flytobecat (Mar 28, 2010)

It's natural to make assumptions about people and things based on past experiences. Recognizing that you make those assumptions and not letting them influence is how you overcome them.
You don't have to like everybody and everyone doesn't have to like you.


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## aubie (Aug 24, 2013)

Most of the things I am seeing I would describe as preference not prejudice. Everybody has them. The line for me is actions. If you do or say things to harm, hurt or hinder someone that becomes prejudice.


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## EvilHorseOfDoom (Jun 17, 2012)

Oh and hipsters! They threaten to release my inner serial killer with their trendy fake glasses and faux-intellectual-artyness. I do however have a few friends that are hipsters (I did go do design school after all). And I haven't killed them yet :lol:

I try and keep my prejudices in check - but of course I have preferences. I'd likely never _date _a pink and sparkly type of girl, but I do have plenty of American friends and really don't notice their accent or am bothered by it. I just avoid buying audiobooks where the narrator is American (unless it's an obviously American story) or watching American-accented fantasy films. Which I think is a reasonable exercise of my prejudices.


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## aubie (Aug 24, 2013)

One of the things I don't get about hipsters is the BPR. That is bait shop beer at the county lake where I am from. Also there are different American accents, what dont you like.


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

EvilHorseOfDoom said:


> Oh and hipsters! They threaten to release my inner serial killer with their trendy fake glasses and faux-intellectual-artyness. I do however have a few friends that are hipsters (I did go do design school after all). And I haven't killed them yet :lol:
> 
> I try and keep my prejudices in check - but of course I have preferences. I'd likely never _date _a pink and sparkly type of girl, but I do have plenty of American friends and really don't notice their accent or am bothered by it. I just avoid buying audiobooks where the narrator is American (unless it's an obviously American story) or watching American-accented fantasy films. Which I think is a reasonable exercise of my prejudices.


Come to America, there are no American accents here.:wink:


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## hemms (Apr 18, 2012)

Tattoos! I'm taking a stab at your hang-up, OP, just for fun... I'm riddled with ink and I'm good peeps. Raised upper crust, married red neck... I can roll easily on both sides, though I can get prickly when pressed. ;p

I, myself, cannot tolerate The Perpetual Victim. My inner bully just rages against its cage, even while I give a crack at showing through example, taking your own life by the balls and making it happen, usually with no effect. 

The Old School Ignorant really blows my top, too... Especially the ones who want to poke at my "enlightened" and progressive perspective. I never liked preachers and I'm not going to argue with a limestone pebble. 

I tend to wait with skepticism for certain individuals to blow stereotypes to bits, and too often am rewarded with societal validation. Is it wrong to want to throw a party when I do encounter a person who does..? How about a simple "Kudos, Man!" Or clap on the back?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## EvilHorseOfDoom (Jun 17, 2012)

aubie said:


> One of the things I don't get about hipsters is the BPR. That is bait shop beer at the county lake where I am from. Also there are different American accents, what dont you like.


I don't dislike all American accents - I quite like Eastern Seaboard accents, but not a fan of Interior accents, and am indifferent to a Midwest accent except maybe ones closer to the Canadian border, which I also don't mind. But still won't tolerate any accent where it doesn't fit the context - I can't listen to an American accent in high fantasy, just doesn't work, but at the same time, I wouldn't want a BBC English accent narrating a good cowboy yarn! But even where there is no cultural/language context, I'd rather listen to an English accent (of the BBC sort) as it is less distracting and easier for me to understand.

I can be seduced in five minutes by a Jamaican or Scottish accent - this is a problem of a whole other kind :lol:


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## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

I am not prejudice.

I am equally horrible to everyone.


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

Everyone has prejudices, and while I think we can work towards dealing with them, we can't just "wish them away". So why we might not be able to control what we think and feel, we can control how we act. If you don't want to be a victim of your prejudices you can choose to associate with these people, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Chances are, like all things, it will get better with time and experience. 

I guess, for me, trying to find out what the root of my concerns are, what aspects make me feel the way I do, helps me to deal with it.


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## Clava (Nov 9, 2010)

EvilHorseOfDoom said:


> I can be seduced in five minutes by a Jamaican or Scottish accent - this is a problem of a whole other kind :lol:


Oh yes, a Scottish accent for me too (as long as it isn't from Glasgow as they can be hard to follow). 

I think we all have prejudices but they can just as easily be described as things we like and don't like about people until we get to know them, and that is the difference, these things shouldn't stop you getting to know the people before pigeon holing them into the "dislike" slot. I have been know to struggle with very posh public school accents, but if the people are lovely you soon don't hear / see the things that grate.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Since this prejudice comes into play with riding, I have to wonder....is it a true prejudice or something you'd just rather not deal with on the trails?

For example, I won't ride with a coward. If someone is scared of their horse and just clearly not having a good time but insisting they are....they can find someone else to ride with. They may be perfectly nice to talk to in the barn but I will not deal with freak outs on the trail. 

Does said prejudice come into play in non-riding situations? Does it color your other interactions and dealings? If it doesn't then I'm not sure it's a prejudice as much as it is a ridig preference.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## flytobecat (Mar 28, 2010)

I can get along with just about anyone. I have to. I work with the public. It doesn't mean I want to hang out with them after work.
I can totally understand not wanting to ride with some people. There are some folks who are just dangerous and out of control on their horse and others who need you to constantly babysit them. If you just want to get away from it all and relax, I can see why you would prefer to ride alone.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

First impressions do count as that is often the basis of our feelings toward a person. Usually we are right, the summation of past experiences. I don't like a talkative man. If he's spending a lot of time talking, he's not getting anything done.


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## BarrelRacer23 (Aug 17, 2011)

It's human nature to put someone into a file of judgement in our heads based on first impression. It's our own personalitys who let us get over those first impressions. The main thing is what you already know, it's a dumb thought and holds no real revelance.

I have many. But getting to know someone allows you to get past that. Someone you may have pegged as a snob, you realize their as down to earth as you. And it goes on. Granted in the horse world sometimes you just have to let things go and get on with life, I won't ride with some people either or discuss horses for that matter.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TessaMay (Jul 26, 2013)

As others have said: it's about how you treat people. You can't always quash the feelings you have towards someone (good or bad) but you can choose to not let it color how you act towards them. For example, there are a lot of religious people who believe being gay is wrong, yet there are those who persecute gay people and there are those who treat them the same as they would anyone else. 

Instead of focusing on how to get rid of your prejudice, try focusing only on how you treat other people. You may find that eventually these prejudices go away when you stop thinking about them.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

I am certainly prejudice. Mine has to do with my line of work, and the money I make. That said, I still treat everyone the same and (like many have said already) I think that's what's important.

I am super curious as to what your prejudice is...


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## Allison Finch (Oct 21, 2009)

How wonderful of you to be able to recognize this in yourself. Admission is the first REAL step to dealing with it.

All people have some level of prejudice. It is a human emotion. How you deal with it is the question, and how far you allow it to guide your actions. It is difficult to "overcome" as it is the result of a lifetime's habit and training. 

I would say that when you recognize a feeling of unease, you might want to stop yourself, take a deep breath, and make yourself ask just what is the issue at hand. Ask yourself if this is a reasonable reaction (it just might be). If you decide it is not, try making yourself relax a bit more. Take baby steps of coping.

Good for you at seeing this as an impediment to your "inner peace".


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## bkylem (Sep 21, 2013)

NorthernMama said:


> I am prejudiced. Or at the very least, I prejudge and/or am not comfortable talking to/hanging out with some people. It is totally and completely based on something that has nothing to do with who they are as people, what their character is, what their morals are, goals, etc. etc.
> 
> I know it. I, hopefully, don't show it. So far, no one has ever said anything to me about it and I know several people that I am "prejudiced" against. I always figured that if I just got to know them better I would get over it. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be working. Of all the people I can think of that I know with the characteristic that bothers me, at this moment, I can only think of one that I can sit down with, actually have a good time with and honestly say, "I like you."
> 
> ...


Everyone is prejudiced to a certain degree and it is quite normal so don't dwell on it. As in most things in life, it is the "extremes" that we need to avoid. 

Think of the word as preference rather than prejudice. It is softer and truer.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

I love everybody, there isn't a person I've met that I instantly can't stand or "judge"...
*some would say I'm a peace lovin hippy*

BUT give them some time, if they're a medicine junkie tell all hypochondriac or a one upper, I'll write them off quick.

Try hugging everyone you meet. I'm so not a touchy feely person, but most people like to be touched even if they don't realize it. If you get in their personal space and open yours creating friendship/opening barriers may come much quicker/easier.


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## LadyDreamer (Jan 25, 2008)

I disagree with the invading personal space thing, especially right away. Some people, like me, do not like to be touched or hugged until they have gotten to know the person a little better. I am going through this right now. There is a girl at work who has no concept of "personal space". She likes to stand a foot away, she likes to grab, and pet and poke, she likes to be close. Paired with her personality, which is a bit loud and overly dramatic, it makes people VERY uncomfortable. I about lost it when I looked over my shoulder just as she was about to lay her head on my shoulder. 

Now there are other people who I greet with hugs. It all depends on how well I know and trust you. 

If a stranger or new acquaintance tried to hug me, or touch me, my impression of them would be very negative. 

Me, I am a very prejudiced person. How I deal with it is I keep it to myself. I am nice to everyone, but I am choosy on who I am close to. I am choosy on who I open up to. Sometimes I will go out of my shell and be with those that I know it is ridiculous to dislike for whatever reasons, just to expand on my experiences and challenge myself to grow. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JaphyJaphy (Nov 15, 2012)

LadyDreamer said:


> I disagree with the invading personal space thing, especially right away. Some people, like me, do not like to be touched or hugged until they have gotten to know the person a little better. I am going through this right now. There is a girl at work who has no concept of "personal space". She likes to stand a foot away, she likes to grab, and pet and poke, she likes to be close. Paired with her personality, which is a bit loud and overly dramatic, it makes people VERY uncomfortable. I about lost it when I looked over my shoulder just as she was about to lay her head on my shoulder.
> 
> Now there are other people who I greet with hugs. It all depends on how well I know and trust you.
> 
> If a stranger or new acquaintance tried to hug me, or touch me, my impression of them would be very negative.


Agreed, but then again I have a huge prejudice towards people who do not respect my boundaries regarding personal space. :lol:

It seems so me that prejudice does serve a funtional role to some degree. It almost acts as a filter. After all, you can't spend years getting to know EVERYONE you meet and then deciding if you like them or not. You need some sort of rapid assessment system.

I think the important thing is to recognize that you need to keep a logical perspective as well and realize that people deserve respect despite what anyone thinks of them. Sounds like you've accomplished this OP. As for how to eliminate prejudice altogether, from my experience it takes lots of time and disproving of those prejudices for them to fade away.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

FlyGap said:


> Try hugging everyone you meet. I'm so not a touchy feely person, but most people like to be touched even if they don't realize it. If you get in their personal space and open yours creating friendship/opening barriers may come much quicker/easier.


No, no they don't. Not by strangers anyway. Most people are too polite to say "hey you're too close and its creepy" but that doesn't make it not so. Do NOT enter someone's personal space unless you are VERY SURE it's okay.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TessaMay (Jul 26, 2013)

FlyGap said:


> Try hugging everyone you meet. I'm so not a touchy feely person, but most people like to be touched even if they don't realize it. If you get in their personal space and open yours creating friendship/opening barriers may come much quicker/easier.


*shivers* Don't. Touch. Me. 

There are very few people who I am ok with being in my personal space even if I know them well. No.


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## tlkng1 (Dec 14, 2011)

I have never been prejudiced despite growing up with parents who were and still are. I am willing to give first and second chances to anyone. I spent 24 years on active duty and the military is no place to have prejudiced thoughts or actions; a successful team dynamic simply doesn't allow it; not that it doesn't exist in the military but those units that suffer with it are not examples of the best teams.

An earlier poster mentioned preferences and maybe that is closer to it. They also said something to the effect that being prejudice is more hindering, let's call it a group, from doing something specifically because they are a part of that group.

The way I look at it, for anyone, is that I have no issues so long as they respect my actions and decisions for my own personal choice, do not hound me to look at things "their" way if I have already agreed to disagree, or something similar, and don't do anything that directly harms me or others with which I associate. I have no problems debating a subject, but it has to remain civil; again, the whole agree to disagree if we can't find common ground. I have many friends and coworkers with which we disagree on issue but we still remain close friends and respect each other as co-workers.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

I didn't mean that a person should become a gross clinger or air sucker!

It's an animalistic human behavior to show to yourself and others that you aren't a threat and don't see them as one. I'm not talking about giving a full body pressin hug or slingin your arm around someone you first meet and talking in their face! Just a quick step forward, light arm around then release.

My in laws are the most biased, predujiced, introverted people on earth. If you aren't jealous of them then you think you are better than them, or if not those then you are out to get them. I see them struggle and live very sad SMALL lives. 
They have even said that people who ARE nice to them are just being fake, myself included.

It would make a HUGE difference in how people treated them if they would just hug, or smile or uncross their arms... Body language is just so important whether or not most people notice.

I was terribly shy when younger, complete introvert. Then after working in my profession and striving to build my business I observed how the successful and most loved people succeeded. 
One of the most loved person I know, with the most friends is a full body, breast squeezer, mamma bear hugger. There isn't a single person I've introduced to her that as we've walked away hasn't said how much they liked her. Trust me, the first time I was hugged by her I jumped in shock! I for sure don't do that, but I did pick up her easy open attitude towards everyone she meets. 

If you have a problem with interacting with certain others then I DO suggest getting a tad closer and embracing them. *Breifly, quickly, without being gross or annoying, then step back...*
You'd be surprised how far a big smile and a quick hug will brighten a room, and your/their perception of you/them. They will be quicker to return the favor next time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## TessaMay (Jul 26, 2013)

FlyGap said:


> You'd be surprised how far a big smile and a quick hug will brighten a room, and your/their perception of you/them. They will be quicker to return the favor next time.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 
I'm sorry, but still no. I wouldn't be comfortable with someone putting their arm around me in any way, particularly when just meeting me. I wouldn't even want them to put their hand on my shoulder. It's an invasion of my personal space and not ok. 

Let's stick with the warm smile and friendly attitude instead.


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

*Another long one - wow, I am chatty today.*

First off, I will absolutely not divulge what my prejudice is. Guaranteed someone on this thread has that quality - too many people have posted for it not to be so. And no, it does not isolate itself to the riding environment -- anywhere: mall, office, skiing, riding, boating, clients, even when I see it on TV.

Next, many people have mentioned things that people have choices about: clothing and personal appearances are the two that jump out. When people have choices about how they look, they are definitely presenting a part of their personality. Having an opinion on hipsters, tattoos, choice of sports, etc. is NOT a prejudice. That is a preference. 

Not liking someone because they are a coward, or timid, or a bully, or a victim, or one-upper is not a prejudice. You are not _expecting_ them to be (for example) cowardly; they have _demonstrated_ that they are cowardly. Their personality just doesn't jive with yours. That is a preference.

If I said all Asians are good at math and wear glasses, would anyone say that's a preference? No way - immediately people would tell me that I am attributing unproven characteristics to individuals based on their race. If I say all natural blondes are dumb - same deal - that is a prejudice, not a preference. (Neither of those are it, btw. My p. is not about ethnicity or hair colour.)

As people have posted - you'd think that if I just continued to be near, talk to and associate with "these" people that I would get over it. That as I realized how average they are, I would no longer have a problem. I thought so too; so, while I didn't go out of my way to hang out with them, neither did I go out of my way to avoid them. It's been years and still - nope, I just feel negative around them. Not angry, frustrated or upset - just negative - I get the "the ickies." I don't think they are dumb, unsocial, ignorant, rude, incapable, or really anything. I just feel "yuck." Actually I have even started to convince myself that many of "these" people are better than I am in a particular way. Not the least of which, is my prejudice. :? I have yet to actually be able to say exactly what my reaction is based upon.

Now the touching thing. There certainly is a big part of touching that improves many relationships, no matter how casual. I learned this in my late 20's. Having grown up in a family where there wasn't any hugging, when my sister-in-law would always greet us with hugs it took me quite a while to accept it, then to appreciate it. Now I try to remember to hug people that I know are receptive to it. But, there are MANY people that are not appreciative of it and it is very important to respect that space. For me: if I don't know you well enough to call you up at any time to just chat, or borrow the proverbial cup of sugar, don't touch me: no shoulder taps, no hugs, no cheek to cheek kisses -- nada. I have a pretty good friend that I talk to frequently; we do favours back and forth all the time; we ride together occasionally (and it's all good); we'll sit and have several drinks together. But she definitely exudes "do not touch me" and so I won't. Even when she was in tears, I didn't touch her.

I proof read this, so I hope what I said makes sense. If not, just ask or criticize and I'll try again.


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## JaphyJaphy (Nov 15, 2012)

NorthernMama said:


> As people have posted - you'd think that if I just continued to be near, talk to and associate with "these" people that I would get over it. That as I realized how average they are, I would no longer have a problem. I thought so too; so, while I didn't go out of my way to hang out with them, neither did I go out of my way to avoid them. It's been years and still - nope, I just feel negative around them. Not angry, frustrated or upset - just negative - I get the "the ickies." I don't think they are dumb, unsocial, ignorant, rude, incapable, or really anything. I just feel "yuck." Actually I have even started to convince myself that many of "these" people are better than I am in a particular way. Not the least of which, is my prejudice. :? I have yet to actually be able to say exactly what my reaction is based upon.


I find this very interesting! I know you're not willing to say what your prejudice is, and that's fine of course, but I'm curious to know if it is very specific or more generalized?

The reason I ask is because I've found that I just don't "click" with certain people and that it generally seems to come down to a specific set of traits (that all the people share) that just don't appeal to me.


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

JJ -- no, it is a very specific characteristic, not a set of traits. Everyone that is ______ makes me feel this way. Just that ONE thing.


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## flytobecat (Mar 28, 2010)

If you feel that strongly about something specific, it's probably based in a particular memory. If you pin point when you started feeling that way, it might help you understand why you feel the way you do.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

I have a prejudice of men.

I always feel more uneasy around them than anything.

However, that being said, I'm fine with talking to them online and I'm fine with my select male friends.

But strangers or older men (like older than 30) I just.. I do not generally jive well with them. 

Stuff happened in the past, or just the feelings I get around them. Not good.

I also don't like women, much. Especially if they are loud and talk about themselves. I turn into Hulkzilla not out of jealousy but annoyment. I like everyone to have their turn to speak so I can learn more about them and if this lady insists on talking about themselves and bragging then I completely switch off.

So if someone looks at the above, you'd think "wow... she doesn't like people in general." No, I do enjoy people, but I am not quick to judge. As soon as I figure out they're like this, that's when my prejudice wins out and I tend to get on the aggressive side.

I have a prejudice against pinto coloured horses. Yes, Sky happens to be pinto. It's not that I hate them, I just don't like the added attention they receive. A horse should be valued/wanted for its personality, not it's flashy colour. The horse can't help what colour it is.

I think those are my predujices... I can't think of anymore at the moment.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

EvilHorseOfDoom said:


> I don't dislike all American accents - I quite like Eastern Seaboard accents, but not a fan of Interior accents, and am indifferent to a Midwest accent except maybe ones closer to the Canadian border, which I also don't mind. But still won't tolerate any accent where it doesn't fit the context - I can't listen to an American accent in high fantasy, just doesn't work, but at the same time, I wouldn't want a BBC English accent narrating a good cowboy yarn! But even where there is no cultural/language context, I'd rather listen to an English accent (of the BBC sort) as it is less distracting and easier for me to understand.
> 
> I can be seduced in five minutes by a Jamaican or Scottish accent - this is a problem of a whole other kind :lol:


 
I am still trying to figure out what a "heavy American accent" is, exactly. At first I automatically assumed it was one of the many extremely irritating accents one finds in the N. East. But, you eliminated any of those multiple "candidates". So if those (any found in the N East, all w varying degrees of irritating) don't qualify, what does??


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

I can't think of any prejudices I have against a particular type of fellow creature. I wouldn't own a Chihuahua, but I don't have a prejudice against them - I just feel sorry for them. Well, Okay ... rats. It is possible they are loving, responsible, misunderstood, and on all taking birth control. But, if I ever actually saw one in my house, I don't think I could look past my preconceived ideas of them as disease carrying, prolific, filthy things long enough to find out.

I have long since noticed that the words of people that want everyone to know how "not prejudice" they are which they accomplish by either announcing themselves as such and/or unjustifiably attacking someone/something for being "prejudice" - often don't jibe w their actions. Ugh. I just take people on an individual basis. I don't have to prove anything, much less that I am "not" prejudice. 

The meaning of "prejudice" is different from "dislike". I dislike people that are so impressed with themselves they assume I should be, too. That is a personality trait and generally can't be discovered w/o talking/listening to someone. I will waste no energy on trying to look past such undesirable "personality traits". :wink:


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

The more I read this thread the more curious I am about what your prejudice is. 

I second the not hugging thing. Touching strangers is not cool. Whenever people touch me or hug me I have to literally say to myself in my head "this is okay, act like a normal person". My prejudice - okay it's not really, it's just a plain dislike - that I just remembered is those people in shopping malls that touch you when you walk past to try to sell you things like hand cream! They are horrid. 

Skye, I kind of get what you mean about coloured horses. Whenever I see a coloured horse I kind of wonder if it's a good horse or if it's just perceived as it's colour rather than it's actual quality. Whenever I see bays though I think they're good because they're so ordinary they have to be good or they wouldn't be wanted. Probably why I have two bays.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Saskia said:


> Skye, I kind of get what you mean about coloured horses. Whenever I see a coloured horse I kind of wonder if it's a good horse or if it's just perceived as it's colour rather than it's actual quality. Whenever I see bays though I think they're good because they're so ordinary they have to be good or they wouldn't be wanted. Probably why I have two bays.


Yeah it can be kind of ridiculous when the only reason people like a particular horse, or even OBSESS over it, is due to its colour. Drives me crazy.. people get so crazy around Sky cause he's huge AND coloured all flashy. He wouldn't get nearly as much attention if he was plain grey.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

I disagree that people cannot have a prejudice about a trait (like tattoos, for example). People have prejudices about such things every single day. People can have a preconceived notion about an individual based on tattoos, the way they dres, etcetera. That is the definition of having a prejudice xD


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## aubie (Aug 24, 2013)

If it is something random that appears in all types of people, like freckles, I don't want to say phobia cause that is mostly fear, but it seems to fit mor than prejudice or preference.


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

Skyseternalangel said:


> Yeah it can be kind of ridiculous when the only reason people like a particular horse, or even OBSESS over it, is due to its colour. Drives me crazy.. people get so crazy around Sky cause he's huge AND coloured all flashy. He wouldn't get nearly as much attention if he was plain grey.


You know what? This is it. Entirely. I have absolutely no preconceived notions about what somebodies abilities or personalities might be, but I just don't feel good around them. Your horse is no better or worse for the colour and size and people don't really think he is any better or worse -- just that he attracts their POSITIVE attention. These people that I have "issue" with attract my NEGATIVE attention.

It's like listening to a radio interview where the interviewee has a really annoying voice -- I just turn the radio off. I don't think the person is anything. I just don't like their voice. 

So, I guess I am not prejudiced. I just don't like that characteristic. Has nothing to do with the person. I don't expect the person to do or not do anything; to be capable or not capable of anything; to be anything. I just see him/her and think "ick." Hmmm... such is life. So, I can choose to get to know the people and deal with my little problem or I can choose to not associate with them at all and therefore, I don't have to deal with my little issue. I guess in the end, it would be my loss if the person is super-terrific and I have missed out on knowing them because I can't deal.


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

Zexious said:


> I disagree that people cannot have a prejudice about a trait (like tattoos, for example). People have prejudices about such things every single day. People can have a preconceived notion about an individual based on tattoos, the way they dres, etcetera. That is the definition of having a prejudice xD


Well, sort of I agree. In that, a preconceived notion could arise, but not necessarily unreasonable. What type of personality do you think would have a tattoo of a rose that is visible? Maybe any type. But, what if the tattoo is not a rose, but a chain and knife on a forearm and the person wears a shirt that doesn't cover it? That would tell me that the person is confident in who they are and maybe even a bit aggressive in their personality. Or maybe had a really good party and ended up with the tattoo. Certainly this person is not likely to be a conservative, insecure, mousy type. So, IOW, someone that I would probably like.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Zexious said:


> I disagree that people cannot have a prejudice about a trait (like tattoos, for example). People have prejudices about such things every single day. People can have a preconceived notion about an individual based on tattoos, the way they dres, etcetera. That is the definition of having a prejudice xD


I would call a tattoo "taste" - not a "trait". One could have a prejudice against someone that sports a tattoo or by the art they choose to hang their walls. It is visible and external. But, a personality "trait" isn't visible, so one could have a "preconceived opinion" of a personality trait - but could not determine if a given individual had a specific personality trait w/o getting to know them on an individual basis.


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## Kayty (Sep 8, 2009)

Missy May said:


> I am still trying to figure out what a "heavy American accent" is, exactly. At first I automatically assumed it was one of the many extremely irritating accents one finds in the N. East. But, you eliminated any of those multiple "candidates". So if those (any found in the N East, all w varying degrees of irritating) don't qualify, what does??


I guess it's a similar perception to how American's think Australian's talk. All like Julia Gillard or Steve Irwin... when no, we don't! We all immediate think of a heavy southern accent when we think of American's, and I know this isn't true of all American's, but I suppose its just what we're exposed to :lol:
I will always remember the time an American tourist was standing under a gum tree, video camera in hand saying "This is an Australian drop-bear"... and proceeding to shake the branches trying to get a poor koala to 'drop'. (for you information, they don't 'drop'... except their poo!) :lol:

Skyes, I am the opposite to you. I'm a real tom boy, in a group, I will ALWAYS go to the blokes first. Girls intimidate me, I hate nasty catty rubbish, talking about shopping, nails and make up. I'd much rather be mucking around with the boys, laughing at fart jokes and arm wrestling


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## aubie (Aug 24, 2013)

I have been told I have a heavy southern accent, I don't think so. But I have had people call me just to hear me talk.


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