# Nervous When People Are Watching - How to Shake It off?



## TinyTurtles (Jan 13, 2014)

Hello,

I was talking to my Dad and he says that I don't look confident when I ride.
When people are watching me ride I get super nervous and worried...

How can I block people out and pretend they aren't there?

I am super confident when I am alone and I feel completely fine but when people are watching me ride I just stiffen up and get so nervous!!! 

I am starting to go fox hunting, and training starts late February - April and the Hunt season starts in May to September. 

It's super important to get used to people watching me as I don't want anything bad to happen. Safety is my number #1 priority and I can't start training when I am nervous because it would be my horses first time too, nervous leader, nervous herd, I guess.


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## Rebelwithacause (Aug 7, 2013)

I can kind of commiserate  I get a little antsy when I feel like someone with a critical eye is watching me! 

Just the other day, I was going to catch my horse when a fellow boardee at the barn was out walking her filly. She and I talked for a few minutes and then she asked if she could come watch me catch my horse! I was like-- sure, I guess if you want to :? Anyways, it made me feel a little nervous that this very experienced horse lady wanted to just observe me. Nerves + walking into a pasture full of playful horses isn't a good idea. So, I had to have a little mental 'come to Jesus and pull yourself together' meeting and remind myself that _in all walks of life, people will be watching_.

At your desk job, when you're driving, when you're riding or grooming, etc-- you're in the public eye to a certain extent. You _will _make mistakes, just they_ will_ make mistakes. Just try and relax, focus on the job at hand and take every ride as a learning experience.


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## TXhorseman (May 29, 2014)

Trying to block people out will just make you think about them more. Your responsibility is not to impress other people. Rather than thinking about other people, focus on your responsibility to your horse. Your job is to help your horse do its job.


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## Hang on Fi (Sep 22, 2007)

TXhorseman said:


> Trying to block people out will just make you think about them more. Your responsibility is not to impress other people. Rather than thinking about other people, focus on your responsibility to your horse. Your job is to help your horse do its job.


This hands down. 

I used to be miserable about showing horses because I was worried about what people thought of me (I've always been a thick rider) and then I got to the point I didn't care. Because when I did care, my horse and I both suffered in our performance and cadence. 

I went to my first jumper show last month and was nervous as all get out... but I felt like I was the only one in the ring when the buzzer sounded. 

You won't learn the habit of not caring overnight, sometimes it still bothers me, but you and your horse will have such better harmony when you realize you aren't worried about the scrutiny of others and that you aren't there to impress them.


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## EquineObsessed (May 24, 2013)

I've always been the same way. I despise riding in front of people. My hands get clumsier and I feel awkward. And I almost always ride alone, just because of my situation. When I am riding in front of others, I just concentrate on the horse-really get in rhythm with whoever I'm riding. Deep breaths, I try to match my breathing to the horse's, sometimes I hum or sing- whatever it takes for me to get in THE ZONE, where I'm really feeling the horse. Once I am thinking about the horse- and only about the horse- my riding just follows and my nerves disappear.


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## CASugar (Oct 17, 2014)

Nerves will disrupt the "zen" between you and your horse. Communication will be rough and your horse will feel your nerves. Be he leader, be confident by pretending those people are there to learn from you. Like you are giving a clinic, to help them. trick your mind into teaching mode and make it all about you and your horse.


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## LoveofOTTB (Dec 7, 2014)

I was like this, and I sometimes can still be like this. But like others have said, block them out and concentrate on your horse. NO ONE is the worlds most perfect and best rider, we ALL have to make improvement somewhere in our riding. I am still getting over this, and there are a few snotty ladies who board where I board, that if they are out in the arena while you are riding, they will watch you and talk smack about your riding. But my trainer pointed out to me that the reason why they are trying to tear me and my horse down is because they are insecure of their own riding and their own horse. So I put all of my concentration on my horse, and on myself. Who cares what they say? Unless they are George Freakin Morris they can all go stuff it ;]


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I get clumsy and stumble when being watched. It goes with the territory I suppose.


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## gssw5 (Jul 30, 2013)

Focus on your horse and what you are doing. I used to get terribly nervous when riding in front of people, pulse racing, sweaty palms almost to where I could not function. It was bad and my rides suffered for it.

Now if I find myself getting nervous I repeat over and over to myself, "I will breath, I will stay focused," and it works for me. Think of a short phrase that you can repeat to yourself when you start feeling tense, make sure it is positive. The other thing is smile, even if it is forced, smiling and breathing alone will help you relax it is hard to stay tense when your smiling and people will think your having a great time.

Also experience, the more you ride in front of people the less stressful it is, you have to get out of your comfort zone. Every time you do regardless of what mistakes you might make, which by the way you will not the first one to make the mistake, you learn something and your comfort zone will expand.

Have some fun and enjoy your sport.


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## katelow (Jan 4, 2015)

I know exactly how you feel! I get nervous with crowds, for basically anything. Of course you should just focus on the task at hand, and be able to think about your horse, rather than the crowds - but if this is still too difficult, and you want to be able to relax a little more, Rescue Remedy is used all over the world for animals and people alike to just be able to kind of relax a bit more than they are, in a stressful situation (I promise I'm not trying to sell you street drugs). 
This would probably be a last resort for me but honestly it just takes the edge off, I know a lot of horse riders who use it! 

Also, singing quietly under my breath always calms me down, and usually calms the horse down and helps it listen to you too!


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

Most people when watching aren't really judging. They just happen to be there & the rider is something to look at while their minds are really somewhere else.


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## BigNickMontana (Aug 5, 2013)

Don't attach your self worth to the opinions of others. 

Remember an opinion is just words, words are pretty empty. 

As well in life you are going to have good days and bad days in anything you do, on the bad days you will feel like hell, you will frequently be embarrassed, you will feel disgusted with yourself for mistakes you make. 

The good days you will feel and look like a rock star. 

Understanding both types of days are inevitable, quit worrying about looking dumb at what you are doing and focus more on what you are doing and how you look will take care of its self.


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## skiafoxmorgan (Mar 5, 2014)

What Natisha said. Honestly, most people are too worried about their own horse to be paying much attention to you. I think it's often only in our own, self-absorbed minds that we think anyone is actually thinking about us when we're nervous. 

Of course, if you're competing or in a lesson, then yeah, someone is judging you. Otherwise, even when they are looking at you, they're probably not thinking about you a whole lot. It's like having the tv on for background noise.


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## Corporal (Jul 29, 2010)

Venus and Serena Williams were fortunate to have their father as a coach. He would yell at them, shout offensive comments at them, in an effort to desensitize his girls to any nasty comments that they might get bc he expected the world of tennis to be hurtful to his daughters bc they were black. This was the secret to their success, and we all know how well both women have done.
Ask your father to do the same. After awhile you will tune it out, and be able to focus better.
ALSO, do NOT enter show classes at the level that you are currently training/riding. It's a dirty, little secret that most people don't realize, but I learned it playing piano recitals. You need to enter the class having mastered what you are showing.
For instance, if you have begun jumping courses, show in a walk-trot or a H/J equitation class.
Here's a link you may enjoy:
Venus and Serena Williams' dad tells of his dirt poor upbringing in the south | Daily Mail Online


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## CASugar (Oct 17, 2014)

OH NO! Please don't ask your dad to yell at you and throw out insults. Are you kidding?
I love the Williams sisters. They raised the bar on tennis and athleticism especially for women's tennis. They are amazing. Their mom is a classy person too. The dad was difficult IMO, like Maria Sharapova's dad. Too controlling, angry mostly...probably projecting personal baggage from his own life on the girls. I don't think either dad ( and there were others) were good examples for their daughters, but rather the girls were stellar examples of athletes, and family values. All those girls in tennis took the rough stuff and still defend the dads method as a matter of due course. I think those girls were sucessful because their dad aggressively pushed them along, but also despite some bad and unnecessary behavior by their dad. Travel the world and compete hard in front of cameras every week, they had to grow up and become independent fast.
You will get over the show jitters and be less concerned about being watched eventually. You will make mistakes too, no need to have someone yelling at you about them. Dad should be part of your life in a supporting way, isn't there enough pressure in everyday life without having dear dad turn into a controlling monster? 
LOL


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## ecasey (Oct 18, 2013)

Yes, cancel that order to have your father berate you while you ride. Ick. No way is that going to lead to a good relationship or a good riding environment.

When people watch me and that little voice in my head says, "They're picking out all the things you're doing wrong," or "They're thinking you're too fat to ride a horse," I counteract it with a little common sense. I say to myself, "You love riding, you love your horse, you're having a great time and feeling good about your life. Who cares what anyone else thinks? Poo on them if they're critical. It's way more fun to be supportive." And besides, chances are they aren't being critical of me. It's just the devil on my shoulder talking.


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## Corporal (Jul 29, 2010)

Welllll...that is a little bit harsh advice, BUT, I have gotten SOOOOO much better about being nervous by "being thrown in the deep end and forced to paddle" which is NOT the same as entering classes above you.
Something else that may help...Debate Club. Public Speaking is the #1 fear factor for most people and you lose your fears with THAT and it carries over. =D


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