# Changing Instructors?



## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

I tried to do it right and burned bridges. I think you'll just have to be honost with her and tell her that you've decided to move on. You don't have to go into details with her but definitely tell her before she finds out second hand. I would set up a lesson with a new barn and maybe even take it to be sure you want to move before letting her know.... but that's not really the right way to do it...


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

When I started feeling this way (coupled with not-quite-nice words about my horse) I just changed instructor. NEVER regretted and I'm thinking I should of done it much earlier.  BTW, I didn't inform I'm changing and such - I just said I'm not taking lessons. With all respect that's NOT anyone's business what I do and who I pay money. 

You WILL progress with the right instructor, there is no question on that. If you don't and feel disappointed time to move on.


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## VanillaBean (Oct 19, 2008)

I have left 2 barns. One I just kinda stopped going to when she let me go from my job there (not enough money). I was kind of done there anyway, she trains show riders, I'm an eventer... 

And the other one, we just said that I wasn't getting enough attention. She was holding me back so badly, and we were sick of it. We're still friends with her, but she is a little spiteful.


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## VanillaBean (Oct 19, 2008)

kitten_Val said:


> (coupled with not-quite-nice words about my horse) .


 Wow, if I had left my second barn when she stated saying bad things about my horse, I would have been out within the first week:shock:


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

VanillaBean said:


> Wow, if I had left my second barn when she stated saying bad things about my horse, I would have been out within the first week:shock:


Well... I'm quite down to the earth, and I know my horse is not perfect. :wink: But yes, it's unpleasant. I wasn't offended really, but my mom was when I told her about it. The main reason though we made no progress what so ever in several months, and she was blaming it on horse bad confo (and me being a bad rider) rather than on herself. Not good and not professional IMHO.


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## BarnMouse (Jul 13, 2011)

kitten_Val said:


> Well... I'm quite down to the earth, and I know my horse is not perfect. :wink: But yes, it's unpleasant. I wasn't offended really, but my mom was when I told her about it. The main reason though we made no progress what so ever in several months, and she was blaming it on horse bad confo (and me being a bad rider) rather than on herself. Not good and not professional IMHO.



Yikes! That's just not cool...


At least when my lessons are regular with her, I progress nicely. I guess that's been holding me back from leaving. But being blown off, ignored and rescheduled for weeks at a time really casts a dark cloud over everything. And I'm over the "Everybody-Gets-Pizza-Ice Cream-And-A-Trophy-Even-If-We-Sucked-Today" kind of coaching, y'know? I want to know what I'm doing wrong.


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## Ami (Jul 17, 2012)

tell the instructor you're going on holiday and never call her back... harsh but works!


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## teamfire (May 27, 2011)

Just did this a couple of weeks ago... (I just said that our schedules weren't matching up and I wanted to take advantage of the summer before school starts to take more lessons and it wasn't happening, etc etc.) it all worked out and no one's feelings were hurt until she saw me near another instructor that she didn't like and she sent me a bad text. Sigh.


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## Houston (Apr 15, 2012)

When I first started taking riding lessons a little over a year ago, I went to a barn where I could volunteer and take lessons. Without going on a rant, I was unfortunately being used, simply because I was so willing to do any crappy job for the sake of being around the horses and learning. My lessons were put on the back burner. I guess they thought I was just SO willing to work that they would get to me whenever. Not to mention the horses were not beginner safe and some of the more "experienced" volunteers and workers treated me like crap.

In my case, I left without warning. I may have hurt some feelings (the owner called and asked where I had gone) but it turned out to be a good choice on my part... After I moved barns and met good horse friends, many told me they had bad experiences with the owner, his horses, and his barn.

You have no obligation to let this instructor in on your business. However, personally if I thought the instuctor was a honest, respectable person who I had built a client/business-type relationship with, I would give them some hint or tell them that you feel you should move on. If you feel they will guilt trip you, give them another excuse.

If the instructor is blowing you off, just runs a poor business, and you have no relationship with them, I wouldn't feel so bad about leaving cold turkey.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

It sounds like you're the one doing all the calling. I'd just stop calling and not say anything. All too often, trying to do it upfront just ends up with the person feeling cofronted and attacked. I would just stop calling her and call someone else.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Island Horselover (Apr 4, 2012)

I think being honest is the way to go. You pay for this service and if you do not get what you expect or are not happy with the service you get you should def. tell her that and give her some feedback, maybe she thinks about it and you would help other or future students...


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## Cinder (Feb 20, 2011)

I would leave. 

I have left barns (purposefully) twice. First time I sent an email saying I'd like to practice more with my riding and I couldn't with her since she had no indoor. She said okay and I could come back anytime so I don't think any feelings were hurt or bridges were burned. 

Second time my feelings were very hurt when I left so I just left with no notice. 

Good luck and I hope you find a better barn soon. Remember that if you are not happy you are the customer and have the right to go to wherever you feel your money is being spent well.


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## Nitefeatherz (Jan 23, 2012)

Imo if your trainer hasn't called you in weeks that would be a strong sign that your trainer isn't interested in you as a student. If I were in your position I would just stop calling. If she does call and ask what happened just tell her your schedule fits better with the New instructor. After all she obviously doesn't have time for you if its been weeks since you squeezed a lesson in. 

Imo...the instructor won't question it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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