# Relationship w/ Owner of Horse (we are leasing)



## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

We are just starting to lease, but I feel like the relationship w/ the horses' owner (also owner of the barn they are boarded at) is awkward. She hangs out with us a lot when we're there, and I can't tell if it's because she doesn't trust us or if she is trying to be helpful. She's always nice and gives good pointers. She almost gives my son lessons while he rides. I feel like we're taking up a lot of her time, but then again, she could easily stay in her house the whole time (we are usually there in the evening). She doesn't normally have boarders...she mostly just has her own horses.

I guess my question is, did it take you awhile to get comfortable with your barn owner and/or horse's owner?


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## ManicMini (May 4, 2015)

This is a new lease and most likely she'll hang around during the beginning to make sure everything goes smoothly. I'd listen to her pointers as she knows more about the horse's personality than you do at this point. You could learn a lot from her in terms of caring for a horse and how to correct her horse if the horse misbehaves. Also, don't feel as if you're taking up her time. Bottom line: she wouldn't be out there if she didn't want to be.

The owner of the property where my horse is kept is my boyfriend's Mother. Now that was an awkward start because I didn't know her that well at all. Once I stopped being awkward around her I learned so much about the property, the area and little quirks about all the animals kept there. Now I feel as though I can handle any nonsense the family's retired horse or two mischevious donkeys can dish out!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

ManicMini said:


> This is a new lease and most likely she'll hang around during the beginning to make sure everything goes smoothly. I'd listen to her pointers as she knows more about the horse's personality than you do at this point. You could learn a lot from her in terms of caring for a horse and how to correct her horse if the horse misbehaves. Also, don't feel as if you're taking up her time. Bottom line: she wouldn't be out there if she didn't want to be.
> 
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


We are definitely grateful for her advice. I just feel kind of guilty like we're taking up her time.


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## Whinnie (Aug 9, 2015)

I know how you feel. The only time I leased ended up being awkward that way for me as well. I had owned and ridden horses for 25 years, then moved to another state and was horseless for nearly 20 years. The mare I leased was used for lessons for kids and was very easy to get along with. The owner insisted on riding with me and even directed me on tacking up and down. This went on for 5 rides and I finally asked her if she did not trust me to be good to her mare. She kind of hemmed and hawed and said that she had just wanted me to be comfortable and that I was now free to come out any time to ride during the day (when she was at work).

It still didn't work out for me as the owner was constantly leaving notes that I had done this or that wrong (fly mask adjusted wrong, used wrong fly spray, etc). I think she was nervous because I was 61 and she was in her 30's. She ended up making me so nervous that I didn't enjoy it and bought my own mare.

May not be the case with you, only time will tell, but it could get so that it interferes with your riding and practicing if she is constantly watching you. You need private time with the horse to work on things yourself. If it persists for more than two weeks, you may need to ask her if she is uncomfortable with your skills.


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## stevenson (Sep 12, 2011)

Maybe she is glad for the company. Perhaps you could say , I hope we are not taking to much of your time. but don't jsut say it out of the blue, say during a conversation or something.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

Whinnie said:


> I know how you feel. The only time I leased ended up being awkward that way for me as well. I had owned and ridden horses for 25 years, then moved to another state and was horseless for nearly 20 years. The mare I leased was used for lessons for kids and was very easy to get along with. The owner insisted on riding with me and even directed me on tacking up and down. This went on for 5 rides and I finally asked her if she did not trust me to be good to her mare. She kind of hemmed and hawed and said that she had just wanted me to be comfortable and that I was now free to come out any time to ride during the day (when she was at work).
> 
> It still didn't work out for me as the owner was constantly leaving notes that I had done this or that wrong (fly mask adjusted wrong, used wrong fly spray, etc). I think she was nervous because I was 61 and she was in her 30's. She ended up making me so nervous that I didn't enjoy it and bought my own mare.
> 
> May not be the case with you, only time will tell, but it could get so that it interferes with your riding and practicing if she is constantly watching you. You need private time with the horse to work on things yourself. If it persists for more than two weeks, you may need to ask her if she is uncomfortable with your skills.


Oh! Well that is no fun. I did tell her to please let me know if we do anything wrong--that I would not be offended. Nothing like that so far. She's a nice person and I don't mind her being around. She does live alone so maybe she just likes hanging out in the barn!


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## Tracer (Sep 16, 2012)

I don't have this problem exactly as my leases are leased on a local property but, in the last two years, I've been on four different properties and they were all different.

The first used to come out to talk almost every time, but they were new in town and we discussed local events and such. Eventually they stopped coming out to see us, and then we had to move.

The second was very different, in that they hardly ever came out (even though the horse was right beside the house). The third was similar, though he often came out to remind us to shut all the gates (which we never once forgot).

The place we're at now, they used to come out every single time as they were interested in spending time with the horses, which was fine with me.

There was one property we just missed out on amongst all this, but I'm quite glad we missed out as the owner is an elderly man who had recently lost his old horse and would go out every single time the people who had their horse there arrived and give them unnecessary advice on every little thing which, whilst he obviously had the best intentions, it would have driven me insane.

I think make the most of it, but feel free to casually mention that you hope it's not taking up too much of her time.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I've been part leasing different horses for years . have never been able to buy.

anyway, hearing these stories makes me so glad for the many great owners who I've worked with. I've leased from perhaps 7 different owners, over teh years. I did, however, have a couple of times where only a week or two brought me to the conclusion that while the horse was great, the owner was intolerable , so the lease was stopped.
I always tell people who are looking to full or part lease, consider the human being you are engagning with at least as much as the horse. can you get along with them well?


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

stevenson said:


> Maybe she is glad for the company. Perhaps you could say , I hope we are not taking to much of your time. but don't jsut say it out of the blue, say during a conversation or something.


This was my thought. Sounds like she's happy to have the company and happy to help.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

tinyliny said:


> I've been part leasing different horses for years . have never been able to buy.
> 
> anyway, hearing these stories makes me so glad for the many great owners who I've worked with. I've leased from perhaps 7 different owners, over teh years. I did, however, have a couple of times where only a week or two brought me to the conclusion that while the horse was great, the owner was intolerable , so the lease was stopped.
> I always tell people who are looking to full or part lease, consider the human being you are engagning with at least as much as the horse. can you get along with them well?


Oh I like her just fine. She's very nice.


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## Whinnie (Aug 9, 2015)

Jan1975 said:


> Oh! Well that is no fun. I did tell her to please let me know if we do anything wrong--that I would not be offended. Nothing like that so far. She's a nice person and I don't mind her being around. She does live alone so maybe she just likes hanging out in the barn!


Then she is probably just excited to talk horses and tell you about her horses.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

that's probably it. who doesn't get all excited when they have an opportunity to talk horses?


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

If I leased a horse out, in the beginning I'd probably hang around a lot telling the lessee about the horse and any quirks. I enjoy being around other horse people and especially around young kids that are just learning to ride and appreciate horses. After a while though, I'd probably cut back to every other time the lessee came out, then down to once a week, once every 2 weeks and then once a month and it would probably stay that way for the duration, unless the lessee invited me to come more often. After all, they're leasing the horse, they're not leasing me and I wouldn't want to interfere. I would keep an eye out from afar and step in to anything I thought was potentially dangerous or abusive. I think the lessor has to walk a fine line between keeping a watchful eye out to make sure their property isn't damaged or misused and being interfering. I've never leased a horse or leased one out, I'm not sure I'd be good at either one.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I think she's just enthusiastic and enjoys watching and wants to be sure the horse works out well. I don't think it's that she's checking up on you. She may feel the need to be involved. Perhaps she's lonely and doesn't realize it might be making you uncomfortable.


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## weeedlady (Jul 19, 2014)

Dreamcatcher Arabians;8374545 I think the lessor has to walk a fine line between keeping a watchful eye out to make sure their property isn't damaged or misused and being interfering. I've never leased a horse or leased one out said:


> This^^^ I KNOW I would not be good at it.
> M


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## Twalker (Apr 8, 2014)

I just love where I lease my horse. It's just like one big happy family. The BO takes us on trail rides, and has a lot of activities to participate in if you like. Even when I owned my own horses I never boarded at a place that is this special. I have been there for about 6 months now. The only thing I do is clean her stall and ride. BO takes care of everything else.


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## EponaLynn (Jul 16, 2013)

Jan1975 said:


> We are definitely grateful for her advice. I just feel kind of guilty like we're taking up her time.


Don't feel guilty, it's her choice. Feel lucky that you're getting all this help. She will probably mellow out when she's sure you've got it all under control.


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## Jan1975 (Sep 7, 2015)

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EponaLynn said:


> Don't feel guilty, it's her choice. Feel lucky that you're getting all this help. She will probably mellow out when she's sure you've got it all under control.


She has...she rarely comes out now.


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