# Still missing Hank



## karliejaye (Nov 19, 2011)

Sometimes it takes more than a few years to fully heal from losing a great horse. Next month it will be 8 years since I lost Hank. He was such an influencial horse in my life and his passing marked a huge change in my life.

I got Hank in 2003 from a hunter jumper barn. He was a lesson horse who just wasn't cut out for giving lessons. My trainer took me to look at him since my other gelding at the time was chronically lame with a grade 1 lameness which prevented me from going up the ranks in USPC and eventing, which was my passion then. She had been told by the h/j barn's BO that they had a 16 hand 12 year old grey Thoroughbred for sale that has a few issues. We went to look at him and I fell instantly in love. He was actually 17 hands, and a PPE revealed he was closer to 16 years old, had numerous fibroblastic sarcoids, was underweight, and seemed depressed, being in a 10x10 box stall 24/7.

We took him on a week trial (my trainer used to work for the BO, otherwise this wouldn't have happened) and I knew he would NOT be going back. In a 12x24 stall with access to a 5 acre pasture and buddies he came alive. What a personality this boy had! He seemed to be telling a story all the time with hilarious facial expressions and he was very vocal.
During the short time I had him, I trained him on cross country and dressage (he was never all that great in dressage, but he tried so hard). At a small combined event, a woman came up to us and noted that she recognized Hank. Through her I was able to track his history and learn he was bred and steeplechased in Ireland, then came to the US where he worked as a mini prix jumper, then did ranch work, then went into hunters, and then to the barn I got him from. Indeed he did have quite the story to tell!

The summer before I left for college I was supposed to take my B and H/A rating in USPC, but Hank began bleeding from the nostrils after hard workouts. A vet check revealed he had EIPH (exercise induced pulmonary hemmoraging). I opted to do 1 last 3 day event then retire him, and did not rate that summer.

The whole time we had Hank, we struggled with his sarcoids. When he arrived, the largest one was the size of a large grapefruit on the side of his sheath. Additionally he had them up and down his ventral line. I had to ride with a breast collar to keep the girth from slipping back and irritating 1. We tried every treatment and every surgery under the sun on him, and as soon as 1 healed, 3 more would appear. For 9 months we hauled him an hour up to the University vet hospital for an experimental treatment where they took samples of the sarcoids, turned them into a vaccine, and reinjected him.

When I went to college (at the same place we had been taking him to), I found the perfect private barn within biking distance of the dorms. The woman who owned the place was fabulous and didn't have any qualms about having to sprinkle his shavings so they wouldn't be dusty or soaking his hay 3 times per day to manage his EIPH. We had looked at 5 barns and she was the only one willing to work with us!

I had him there 1 month, only got to ride him twice (college was way more demanding than I thought, even compared to the IB courses I took in high school, but that's what taking 20 credits does to you!). I was riding my bike there one afternoon to muck and groom him. I was almost to the barn when my phone rang, it was the evening feeder letting me know Hank was colicking.

As soon as I got there my heart dropped. He was stretched out like he had to pee, but wasn't. I called my trainer and she walked me through what to do. I gave him banamine and walked him around his paddock. He seemed slow, not all there. When an hour went by and he did not improve I called a local vet. This was a new vet, his first night on call by himself. When he got out there, he did a basic exam, then pulled Hank's tail sideways. Hank almost fell to the ground. We knew it was more than colic and I decided he needed to go to the hospital. I called my mom, who drove the hour from home at 10 pm. By the time she got there, Hank was too wobbly to step up into our trailer and I had to call a fellow boarder who had a ramp trailer. We got him to the animal hospital around midnight.

They got him in a quarantined, ambulatory stall and he was able to stand and take small steps. The vets sent me home (well, a 10 minute walk to my dorm) for the night. That night was also the first night my boyfriend raped me. It wasn't until recently I have been able to fully comprehend it. That was one of the worst night of my life on so many levels.

The next day I emailed all my professors stating I would be missing lectures and labs. I went straight to the vet hospital and stayed with Hank. He collapsed around 2 that afternoon and I decided to have him euthed.

At this time we did not know what caused the neurological problem, so my boarding facility went into quarantine, since the first suspicion was (I can't remember what it's called) a contagious neurological disease. Because of this threat we ordered a necropsy to be performed. 

To the great relief of the barn, this was not a contagious disease. Hank was 1 of 2 known cases of sarcoids going internal. He had a sarcoid on his spinal cord and it finally killed sensation to his back half. 

Needless to say, I wept for days. I was sick. I had put multiple animals down before, but this was the 1 time I was physically sick to my stomach. I still get a knot in my stomach 8 years later thinking of it.

He was the horse who gave me my confidence. He really made me into a thinking rider. He made me remember to relax and have fun. All at once it was gone and a very dark chapter of my life opened.

8 years later, now that my life is in a brighter chapter again, I finally feel safe to reflect on our time together.

Thank you, Hank, for being the best horse I have every had. I know your good soul is in a new place, maybe making some other girl light up as she rides around a jumper course.























Kudos to anyone who read all that!:shock:


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

I know this happened long ago, but I'm still so sorry. He was a beautiful guy, and I can tell by your writing that he was very special to you. I'm glad you have many positive and bright memories that you can relive.


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## SueC (Feb 22, 2014)

Hi KJ, what a great story you uncovered on that horse...what a handsome boy too, and you guys looked great together. I'm sorry you lost him. I totally relate to the feelings you described and I'm sure I'll still be missing my mare who was euthanased in April in eight years from now. I think the most wonderful thing in your story was how you improved that horse's living conditions, and quality of life. You may not have had as long as you wanted with him, but think of the difference you made to him. :hug:


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