# Does your horse get in the way of your relationship?



## digggin (Mar 15, 2012)

Does your horse/horses ever cause relationship issues with your partner or loved one due to the shear amount of time these animals need or costs, yes that's a good one (the big critters are rather spendy.) Just curious.


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## cowboy bowhunter (Mar 15, 2012)

Nope, Me and the wife both are into horses and we both like to ride, work with young horses and like having broodmares and foals.


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

All the time. I work during the week and teach on the weekends. I can't drop everything to take road trip whenever I want, or when someone offers tickets to a sporting event, I can't go and it drives him crazy. But he knows better than to make me choose.


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## themacpack (Jul 16, 2009)

Not at all - my husband has hobbies that take up a significant amount of his time and can be quite costly, so it is really not an issue between us because my horsey habit is no different than his fishing or gaming or music.


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## yadlim (Feb 2, 2012)

No - because that was the frist rule about going out with me, I come with a horse. I have seen many many people (friends and sisters) who married men who promptly made them give up their horses and it eventually ruined the relationship. 

My hubby rides on occasion - he loves horses. He will fix fences, shovel poo, hold for farrier or vet. Most importantly, when I have had a bad horse day and I come home shreaking that I am selling that @#$#%@#$ animal, he tells me NO. We have been together for 25 years this Sept.

There are spouces out there who even if they are not into horses, will learn to be, or will sympathitic to your hobby (though you have to understand that they get to have hobbies that cost the same too). Just be up front about it.


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## AQHSam (Nov 23, 2011)

*Omg yessssss*

It doesn't help that I bought the horse after the relationship started. And, I don't know why he is so shocked.

I moved from a densly populated area of MI to a not-so populated area of MO. Our home is considered "in town," meaning it has a normal size lot and is close to shopping, schools, church, restaurants.

When I first moved down here (in 2010) to be with him, we would talk about selling the house in town and moving to 10-15 acres so I could HAVE A HORSE.

He participated in saying THOSE words. We even had a timeline; 3-5 yrs. 

Well, last fall, he refinanced, one neighbor put up a privacy fence, and we became closer to the other neighbors. And, all of a sudden he started talking about how nice the house is and how it will be paid for in less than 10 yrs. He didn't want to sell the house.

So, I went and bought a horse and found a place to keep said horse.

And, NOW anytime we bump heads, the horse is brought into the argument. Mostly, it is him feeling replaced. In Michigan, I was very active and had lots of hobbies and friends. It was common for me to be out 5 out of 7 evenings doing things. He has interests, but they don't necessarily require others or time out of the house.

Even if I am at the barn alone, I am OUT (away from the home) and he sees that as a time threat against him.

Funny thing is, as soon as I turn it into a controlling thing, he backs down. It is not about me being in the house waiting on him. He just doesn't feel needed like before. 

So, um, yea. The hay burner has been blamed for every thing from dirty floors, lack of underwear, and my being unable to go for hikes because I fell off and sprained my ankle.

:lol:


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## kait18 (Oct 11, 2011)

if my horses got in the way that means my horses would win my love...the boy comes second to my babies... if they can't handle then they are to needy for me...


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## ~*~anebel~*~ (Aug 21, 2008)

I come with the horse(s). I have a job that's good enough I can support them and myself without a SO. That's my deal is that I don't need anyone and if they raise a fuss about the horses I will always choose the horses above them.
How I knew my current (non horsey) bf was serious is he showed up to a horse show. He knows the above to be true as well and is actually likes spending time at the barn with all the animals and the outside. He rode once hahaha.
So no, my horses don't get in the way of my relationship any more than my job, my research, my personality or anything else does.
Of course there are days when I wish I could see my bf more often but then when we go on a vacation I miss my horse! I like having both in my life so I balance them and they like each other (especially when carrots are involved) so everything works put. Relationships are about compromising. He compromises when I'm with the horses and I compromise when I'm skipping the barn for him. My favorite compromise is when he's at the barn with me 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## csimkunas6 (Apr 18, 2010)

I told my hubby, well gave him an idea of how expensive horses were going to be, he'll say something every now and then, but for the most part, hes fine with it. He knows that my barn time is my time to get away, and just "my thing", his is going to the gym and working out. We have worked out a great understanding, and although we dont see eachother for a good amount of time each day, due to our schedules being opposite, everything works out great!


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## BarrelRacer23 (Aug 17, 2011)

No, he gripes sometimes about always going to horse shows but I told him long ago I would always pick the horse first. Harsh but true. He comes from a barrel racing family, and we ever met at a show. So he gets it mostly.
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## myQHpaul (Jun 25, 2009)

Nope, my horse addiction saved my marriage. Before I got my horse, my husband and I did everything together and believe me, I absolutely adore my husband but after knowing eachother 20 years and being married for 13 of them, we need alone time so about 10 years ago, he got into restoring a classic car and I found myself spending a lot of time alone in the house waiting for him to finish what he was doing and spend time with me. Now that I have my horse, while he is working on his car, I am out at the barn working on my riding  It's nice to have a place to escape to that is strictly "me time" and I am not breathing down his neck while he's in the garage working under the hood. I think it actually made us love eachother that much more so thank goodness for my horse and my barn time


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## myQHpaul (Jun 25, 2009)

themacpack said:


> Not at all - my husband has hobbies that take up a significant amount of his time and can be quite costly, so it is really not an issue between us because my horsey habit is no different than his fishing or gaming or music.


 
I think that too whenever a new car part shows up at our house during the week. He spends on his classic cars what I spend in board every month. He is currently working on a 57 VW Bug that he picked up a few months ago. He won't miss me much during this summer


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

The horse came after the relationship. When I told him I wanted to buy one, he looked shocked and was silent for a while, but ended up saying, "If it makes you happy." When that horse bucked me off and I broke my ankle, he refused to allow me to give up. He knew how much I wanted the horsey life, and now he enjoys going to the farm to see my current horse, Smoke. They have man-time... Smoke snoozes while Jon brushes him. It's adorable. Bf hopes to have his own horse someday.

So glad I found a guy who tolerates my obsession, and even more than that, a guy who I converted into a horsey person! Muah haha.:twisted:


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## COWCHICK77 (Jun 21, 2010)

Not now, my husband is into the same things. We both love roping and ranch rodeos. He isn't into showing but he completely supports me in doing so. But we can get along doing those things together. He don't tell me how to ride my horses and I don't tell him how to ride his! We respect each other opinions and pick each others brains, but we don't get pushy with our opinions.
He never complains if I want to spend the money to go ride with a trainer, if anything he encourages me. And I encourage him to do things that I may not be interested in doing. It is all about balance.

Before I was married and dating, it was an issue. I don't think of horses as a hobby it is my lifestyle.


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## SorrelHorse (Apr 9, 2009)

Never. Everyone I have ever met or gone out with, I tell them immediately the horses will always come first and f they can't accept that, I won't cry over them leaving.


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## AQHSam (Nov 23, 2011)

Awww c'mon peeps! Surely there most be someone else on this forum that went out on a Tuesday night after work and bought a horse without first discussing it with their S.O. ? (NOT husband. S.O.)

Am I the only one that did not come with a horse but has had to try and acclimate the other to my newly purchased horse?

On the bright side of things, my dog (who is a terror and I am ready to bury in a shallow hole in the backyard) and my precious kitty are NEVER complained about. I brought those into the relationship and he gladly feeds, pets, and cares for them.

Of course, he is not AFRAID of them.


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## thesilverspear (Aug 20, 2009)

Nope, not me. I had horses long before I had boyfriends, and all the men I've dated (including the current one) have accepted that I come with a horse. Any guy who would make an issue out of that I would not touch with a bargepole.


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## SorrelHorse (Apr 9, 2009)

AQHSam said:


> Awww c'mon peeps! Surely there most be someone else on this forum that went out on a Tuesday night after work and bought a horse without first discussing it with their S.O. ? (NOT husband. S.O.)
> 
> Am I the only one that did not come with a horse but has had to try and acclimate the other to my newly purchased horse?
> 
> ...


Well :rofl:

Me and my Mom do EVERYTHING without telling my dad. We've bought cars, trailers, tvs, concert/movie tickets, training, saddles....We once brought home two new horses (Costing us around $20,000) and we just threw them in with the others and he never noticed until we told him. :rofl:


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## Hunter65 (Aug 19, 2009)

Hahaha I didn't quite go out after work but I called hubby from barn (he was out of town for a week). At the time, I was leasing Duke and they were giving poor lil Hunter away and I felt so sorry for the scrawny little Palomino. It was funny, when I first called him I was like.. hunny???? uh oh he says. Well its about a horse... By the time he came home Hunter was mine lol. He has been awesome, bought the trailer, bought me a new saddle last year. Built a paddock up at our property so I could bring him with us. Never been a problem. He loves Hunter and when we buy a place locally he will get his own horse.

The dog on the other hand..... She was there first and he hates her. I think he is jealous I dunno. He does walk her after work every day though.


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## oh vair oh (Mar 27, 2012)

Blugh. Yes. The "get out and have a hobby away from your boyfriend" was good. At first. But the "getting out" consisted of driving an hour out of Los Angeles and back every time I want to ride. Now I want to move somewhere either closer to the stables or to a place with a barn, but he's stubbornly in love with the city. And I'm stubbornly in love with my horses, lol.


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## spirit88 (Jan 12, 2011)

I had horses before i married and no they dont get in the way of our relationship.He knew when he married me horse was part of the package. He does golfing and fishing so he spends time away doing those things. Plus he works late because of job so when iam out riding hes not home any way. He helps fence build barns and unload hay and even puts out hay bales in winter for me. Once in a while he grips about the horses but he knows they are my life and hobbie. Plus i have a 14 year old daughter that rides with me shes just as horse crazy as iam. In the summer my daughter and i are out in the barn till 12am or later we like to ride at night. I hope when my daughter leaves home he will take up riding other wise i will be riding alone. Iam lucky we have our own place with some land so my horses are out my back door. If i had to board i would only have one horse.


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

Every guy always knew I came w/a horse (or more).


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## attackships (Jan 12, 2012)

i had my horses long before i met my boyfriend, but my sister was taking care of them full time. I moved away for college (and met my bf there) and would only go home every few months or so. When i graduated i moved back home and took full responsibility for of them. 

We visit each other often but it's still a tough long distance relationship. Made tougher by the fact that I don't want to ever leave my horses. It's not that i miss them exactly lol, i just feel so guilty. We don't have a run in so they are stabled at night. I know someone who will feed them but nothing else really... so they would likely be stabled all day. They are well behaved horses but they test people, and the only person i could get to turn them out is not very experienced and lets them walk all over him x__x

If i ever decide to take a trip to go see him, I'm stressing the whole time and i usually only end up staying a couple days. I like it better when he can visit me instead. We do end up arguing about how much time i need to spend with them.


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## Regula (Jan 23, 2012)

Dog was already there, and the horse I bought after we started dating. My bf is completely non-horse, is scared of Leo, and was also a bit scared of my old dog. But as long as it makes me happy, it's all good with him. 
He's bored out of his mind at the barn, but will patiently videotape for me if I ask him. I think the fact that he was there for the moments that are so important to me (e.g. getting Leo) makes him feel included. 
It goes both ways, I spend the occasional afternoon at the airfield taking pictures of planes for him and patiently istening to conversations about engines...
I agree that having time to ourselves and doing what each of us enjoys is very important, and I actually don't think I'd even want a guy that's 100% interested in the same things as me. We ARE two separate people after all...
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## gypsygirl (Oct 15, 2009)

haha my hrose gypsy actually caused me and my ex to break up. i was dating him before i got her and he got mad that i spent so much time with her. [before i got her i had scout and was riding 2-8 horses a day so its not like it was a surprise]. i told him if he didnt like it he could get out and he did. never regretted it for a second. my current boyfriend isnt horsey, but loves gypsy and he knows if he wants to have me as his gf he has to put up with her and me talking about her =]


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## QOS (Dec 8, 2008)

I had a horse when Honey Darling Precious and I got married. 6 months later I lost my job in economic downturn of the early 80's. Horse went to my brother in law. I was a sahm for years then went to work as the kids got older. Three and a half years ago I told HDP I was getting another horse (mind you, the man golfs, loves to play blackjack at the casinos, has a 2003 100 Year Anniversary Harley Davidson Heritage Softail at the time and now has a pool table and plays pool tournaments) and he said No :shock: Yeah...I wasn't asking sweet cheeks....I was just letting you know what I was going to do.

He had a few hissies but went with me looking for a horse. A few more hissies but he rode Red more than me at first. I bought him a horse 5 months later and we now ride together. We go horse camping with a group every month but I pay for all horsey expenses and spend way more time with the horses than he does. 

Horses are NEVER going anywhere ever again. I was without them for 26 years and NEVER stopped wanting one. 

If he still had a problem with it, it would be HIS problem and I wouldn't make it mine. My horses are my only "indulgence" and not one that I am giving up no matter what!!!


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## Lindze (Mar 26, 2012)

I was married in Jan of 09, I was horseless at the time. Now i'm a stay at home mom with very few friends. Hubby got a new job in July. I started talking about wanting a horse to get me out if the house more, and give him more me time ( with no friends I was always wanting his attention. So when Paddy came up for sale around Christmas time, there was no argument, we found the cash for him and hay. It was a great anniversary gift. Since then, he has bought himself a used truck ( for hauling hay you know ) and a quad with a plow blade, so he can clean the pasture.... And he actually comes at feeding time when he isn't working, and he cleans the pasture and helps out way more then I thought he would. A horse has helped our relationship out, a little so far, but in the long run, I think immensely. he still has his hobbies, but now I have my own. And I love him for it!
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## WesternBella (Jan 7, 2012)

Nope, relationships get in the way of my horse 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

My husband is not horsey, and he doesn't really like them a great deal either. He tends to worry about me, and will only come to the barn when I need help. 

However he knows that my horse makes me happy, and he wants me to succeed in my riding goals - so he supports it 100%. 

I'd never have to choose between my husband and my horse, ever.


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## lilbit11011 (Apr 15, 2010)

Nope...DH knew going into the relationship that the animals were there to stay. He is not into riding horses though. He does help with chores happily though and never complains of the cost. He has his hobbies and I have mine. They both cost a bit of money but we are always honest about what is spent where.


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## jillybean19 (Dec 23, 2011)

When I met my husband, I was away at college living in an apartment and did not have my own horse, nor had I ridden in quite a while (even though my horse I grew up on was still at my parents house and still is) and was way more caught up with my friends and dating. After we got married, I started giving horse lessons regularly on the horses my sister and I grew up on, and without the distractions of dating and friends (as I settled into the mentality of the "quiet married life") I got more and more into horses. I've always been horse crazy, but never dove quite THIS deep into it. Eventually, I got to the point where I wanted my own horse, and I bought Flash last November after much convincing, particularly in the area of money as my husband is not an animal person (his ideal pet is a fish), much less a horse person. However, he knows that this is what I'm passionate about and can see how happy it makes me to work with my baby. Then, in January, I decided I wanted a second horse for various reasons, and, after more convincing, I bought Snickers (It's just the two of us, so I made a deal with him that if I spent $1000 on a horse that didn't do anything for him at all, he could get $1000 to spend however he wanted to as well and I couldn't try to persuade him how I thought he should spend it either. That seemed fair! lol). So here I am with both my boys, happy as can be with my own hobby, and he has his own hobbies as well. We share a passion for what makes each other happy, though we may not enjoy those things ourselves. I love it  As long as I carry my own weight in the finances to pay for the horses, he's happy to let me spend the money and time it takes to be with them.

We have had one issue, though. But that was solved by my husband buying me a lint roller to get the hair off of me before I come home


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## doubleopi (Dec 27, 2011)

Well, apparently now it is. He knew I was a horse girl all along and I always told him I "had" a horse, she was just owned by my friend at the time. I told him that if she ever needed to sell her I would get her back. Well, we got married, then I got the horse back. Now he's telling me that I have to sell her. Um, no, I special ordered her when we bred her mom. :-x I will postpone having children (which he wants) before I sell my horse. And if I have to sell my horse he d*** well isn't buying any more $1,000 rifles that he will shoot once a year tops. Urg, that "conversation" just happened today, so Im a bit raw on the topic still.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

I am not seeing anyone currently but I have to say there was one time this guy who was into me would show up at my work (therapeutic riding center) and make me take time out to teach him how to ride. It sounds awesome but it wasn't... I felt like HE was coming in between my "me" time (this was before I had Sky) and it just made me very irritable since I couldn't ride in peace.

Though I wouldn't want to be with a guy that didn't at least like my horse, Sky. He's important to me.


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## Nuala (Jan 2, 2012)

No every relationship I have ever had has been "my aunt invited us to the race track wanna...." WHAT TIME IS THE TRUCK LEAVING!!! kind of thing and now I am lucky enough to have a guy that loves horses as much as I do. He wanted to buy one before he left for the Marines but thought better about it. He has gotten upset with me once over having a horse and that was when he realized that now that I have one I might have to give him up to move with him, I think he was just scared I would tell him he could go on his own that I wasnt going to leave my horse. Our agreement is that when he is done with the Marines or once we get enough money I am getting a bit of land and having all the horses I want (as long as the property is somewhere he can fish and hunt).


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## sjwrightauthor (Feb 5, 2012)

The first horse I have ever owned, after being horse crazy all my life, arrived a month ago. The hubby was hoping it was a phase I was going through. Several arguments about buying stuff for this horse so far. But last night he asked me to send a picture of Mission to him so he could share with his work buddies. I think he is warming up to the idea. Yayyyy! (or he is secretly trying to sell the horse......hmmm.)


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## Jake and Dai (Aug 15, 2008)

When I got married to my hubby, I was horseless but he knew how much I loved the critters. So when we moved from a very urban area out to the 'country', land and a barn was a requirement he was happy to agree with.

He has encouraged me every step of the way and enjoys the farm work that comes with having horses. He likes to ride, but only if I get the ponies ready and all he has to do is hop up (our horses are that sort). He takes care of them when I travel for work and has said if I ever wanted to get in to showing, he'd be right there helping me.

He also sneaks them carrots and cookies when I'm at work.

In short, I married a perfect sorta-non-horsey guy!


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## Nuala (Jan 2, 2012)

sjwrightauthor said:


> I think he is warming up to the idea. Yayyyy! (or he is secretly trying to sell the horse......hmmm.)


lol might want to keep an eye on that hun! Just make sure the horses titles are in your name only! lol 

Im just hoping my fiance wont kill me when he finds out I got a second horse while he was in basic!


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## AQHSam (Nov 23, 2011)

Skyseternalangel said:


> I am not seeing anyone currently but I have to say there was one time this guy who was into me would show up at my work (therapeutic riding center) and make me take time out to teach him how to ride. It sounds awesome but it wasn't... I felt like HE was coming in between my "me" time (this was before I had Sky) and it just made me very irritable since I couldn't ride in peace.
> 
> Though I wouldn't want to be with a guy that didn't at least like my horse, Sky. He's important to me.


I have a similar type situation. Last January, I thought it would be a good idea to lease a pony for my 8 yr old stepdaughter. Thought.

Now when the kids are with us, I am very obligated to take her to barn to see her horse. She only gets to see the horse on the weekends she is with us, and then only if she does't have some scouting or birthday thing to go to.

Last week, we had 5 straight days of rain and on Saturday and Sunday I wanted to go to the barn. I pretty much had to take her with me both days. So, not only am I getting my private "me" time away from them but once at the barn I can't spend anytime with my horse because she needs to be mentored and supervised. 

I feel selfish about feeling this way, but I work 40 hrs per week and didn't realize how badly her being with me would take away from my few hours of me time.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

When my hub and I were dating he went out and BOUGHT a horse he could ride so he could spend more time with me!! Otherwise he figured he'd never see me, LOL!

I had horses before him and I'll have horses after. Honestly he knew they were my life and if he wanted included he had to be involved!

As for care and costs, well that's another matter. But, He knew where I was at I could house them and wouldn't move anywhere where I couldn't. I would not have married him if he didn't love the outdoors and owning/running a farm. So I think a person's picker is off if they don't find a man that follows their passion.
The whole running the farm gets us into trouble but I'm handy so THWH. He knows how to get on my good side... go cut wood, mend some fence, brush hog, and mow! Don't be bringing me cut flowers!
The farm's in MY name and protected, so go if you don't like it!! LOL!


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## CLaPorte432 (Jan 3, 2012)

Ive had horses since i was 11. Before any boys came along. I dated a guy for a few years when i was 15 and he would come to horse shows. He didnt complain about my time with the horses, but wasnt a horsey-guy.

The guy i met at 18 was a liar and pain in my *** about my horses. He was all talk "yeah i can ride, i love horses blah blah blah" 6 months in, i didnt "spend enough time with him" and he didnt support me showing, so i stopped. He was a pain and i got very irritated with him about it.

The final straw was when he was jealous of my 9 week old puppy because i had to spend time training and potty breaking etc. And of course he was so cute that i always wanted to cuddle with him.

Needless to say, our breakup was the best thing ever now that i look back. And any guy who might try to date me in the future will know that my dog and horses will come first. 

What i need...is a sexy cowboy. Lmfao!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

"What I need...is a sexy cowboy. Lmfao!"

Ha HA!! CLaPorte! Wish there were more out there to choose from!
If men only knew how sexy they would be if they were all great horsemen!

I couldn't find one around here so I had to make one! I get the best of both worlds, he loves them and he rides like me, handles them like me and we never have a debate over it because he doesn't know any different! LOL!


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## CLaPorte432 (Jan 3, 2012)

Michigan is only full of wanna-bes. Lol. I should travel out west. But for the time being, i can live through my romance novels. ;-)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hunter65 (Aug 19, 2009)

I just realized that without my hubby I wouldn't have a horse right now. He knew when he met me that my dream was to own property and have horses again. He wants property too. So we have 10 acres (unfortunately 3 hours away from home) and I have my horse. I would not have any of it if I was still a single parent. Still searching for property that we can live on and commute to work but its so expensive in our area.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

Hmmm...my wife and I had been married over 20 years before SHE wanted horses...and now I'M the one who does most of the riding. Since she is the one who picked out the horses and bought them, she sure cannot complain about them being here.

She doesn't dislike the horses, but she only recently started riding again - and probably will never ride more than twice/week. With 3 horses living in the corral, that means I need to do a lot of riding to keep them exercised - more riding than I want, really. If my daughter-in-law hadn't taken up riding, there is no way they would get exercised enough.

In a marriage, folks need to learn to compromise. During my military career, my wife followed me around the world. I worked 12 hour days, and was deployed somewhere on average 5 months each year. When I retired, she went from a part-time RN to full time. There are a lot of things we do together, but we do NOT have to share every activity.

She likes to go shopping. I would as soon be emasculated as spend 4 hours looking for clothes. I spend 5 minutes each year buying my pants - Wrangler jeans at Wal-mart. I like shooting. She finds the idea of once a month going out into the desert and shooting $50 of ammo at soda cans...bizarre. But we wouldn't still be married after 25 years if we felt the need to control or dominate each other. In May, she's taking the kids and going for a vacation in California. She'll spend a year's worth of ammo money on hotel rooms for a few days, hitting the beach and visiting relatives - while I stay home and take care of the horses & dogs. And then we'll be together again, and we'll tell each other stories about what happened...

My own feeling is that if someone thinks you need to be with them 100% of the time...bolt!


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## yadlim (Feb 2, 2012)

OK - this requires that I be silly and nolstolgic for a bit... So 20+ years ago I was in college and this guy wanted to know if I wanted to go out. Sticking to my rule of only guys who like horses, I invite him out to go riding. He said sure.

So we drive the 42 miles from town to the porperty up in the BFE foothills where I have my horses. This is when I go...um... yeah. I have three horses. 

My 15.2 hand Anglo Arab mare who is MY horse and I do everythign with. 
My sister's 15.3 hand QH gelding who has been badly abused in the past and is terrififed of men to the extreme
And my 14.2 hand Mustang mare. 

I own one saddle. One mechanical Hackamore for my horse, and one bridle. 

So I put the 6'4" guy on in the saddle on my horse - who was not amused. (I always rode bareback). And I bridled the Mustang and jumped on bareback. 

For his part, in spite of it being 90+ degrees out, my date was wearing a blue jean jacket and had a six pack of Pepsi in the pockets.  So out we go down dirt roads and up and down hills.

About an hour out, he is riding my mare with a loose rein as she is really picking where we are going, and he opens a soda. No big deal we're talking. Then we come around a corner where there is a side road that goes up a steep hill and disappears down the other side. What woudl be boy friend doesn't know is that my mare is an endurance horse, one hour is a warm up, and we usually gallop up that particular hill. 

I watch my mare lift her head and turn and look back at him with this evil twinkle in her eye. She tosses her nose forward, nope, no rein contact. She readyies her body and then POW she is at a gallop in one stride. 

For his part, woudl be boy friend looks down at the mare going full out under him and pulls back on the reins, nothing, he has about two extra feet of length before he will have contact with her hackamore. At that point, he looks at his freshly opened soda... looks at the reins.... looks at the top of the hills... looks at his soda. 

This whole time I am riding the slowing four legged critter in existance and we are falling behing FAST.

This look from soda to reins to top of hill goes on for about four minutes. Then, about thirty feet from the top of the hill, he sluggs down the whole soda, tosses it over his head, uses his now free hand to shorten his reins, and pulls her into a sliding stop - a good four of five feet from the hair pin turn at the top of that hill. 

We had a medieval wedding on horseback...


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## yadlim (Feb 2, 2012)

*Sey Cowboys...*



CLaPorte432 said:


> What i need...is a sexy cowboy. Lmfao!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I have honestly been thinking of moving to Texas to see if we can find a sexy cowboy for my daughter. Her list of would be boys have yet to pass the horse test. One came out twice to the stable, but then tried to tell her how to ride. When whe was riding, he starts talking to me about how to side track her onto a cheaper hobby.

Her latet bo has not been out to the stable yet... he has never been on a horse, but 'says' he is fine with her having horses. I'm concerned... 

She needs a sexy cowboy who already rides and is horse crazy.


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## CLaPorte432 (Jan 3, 2012)

yadlim said:


> I have honestly been thinking of moving to Texas to see if we can find a sexy cowboy for my daughter. Her list of would be boys have yet to pass the horse test. One came out twice to the stable, but then tried to tell her how to ride. When whe was riding, he starts talking to me about how to side track her onto a cheaper hobby.
> 
> Her latet bo has not been out to the stable yet... he has never been on a horse, but 'says' he is fine with her having horses. I'm concerned...
> 
> She needs a sexy cowboy who already rides and is horse crazy.


You can bring her out after i find mine. Lol.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MissColors (Jul 17, 2011)

More like my relationship gets in the way of my horse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

yadlim said:


> ...Then, about thirty feet from the top of the hill, he slugs down the whole soda, tosses it over his head, uses his now free hand to shorten his reins, and pulls her into a sliding stop - a good four of five feet from the hair pin turn at the top of that hill.
> 
> We had a medieval wedding on horseback...


That is AWESOME!!!!!!


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## texasgal (Jul 25, 2008)

doubleopi said:


> Well, apparently now it is. He knew I was a horse girl all along and I always told him I "had" a horse, she was just owned by my friend at the time. I told him that if she ever needed to sell her I would get her back. Well, we got married, then I got the horse back. Now he's telling me that I have to sell her. Um, no, I special ordered her when we bred her mom. :-x I will postpone having children (which he wants) before I sell my horse. And if I have to sell my horse he d*** well isn't buying any more $1,000 rifles that he will shoot once a year tops. Urg, that "conversation" just happened today, so Im a bit raw on the topic still.


Dont' do it ... I compromised once in that area and went years without a horse .. It's hard to go back once you give them up for "him" ..

I love my husband, and we've had our 'discussions', but the two times we came closest to breaking up was over the time I was spending with my, then new, mare ... and when we built our house.

He, too, has guns ... and a Harley Davidson. I dont' wanna hear it from him ... lol


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## MN Tigerstripes (Feb 20, 2009)

Never with my current. He knew I was a horse woman before he even asked me on our first date. We actually joked about how crazy horse people are on our first date! :lol:

He's been very wonderful about it the entire time we've been together. Riding isn't a passion for him, though he does enjoy it and likes to go on trail rides a couple times a month. He likes helping me clean up around the barn, build fences, feeders, stacking hay, etc. In his eyes horses are something that makes me happy and he wants me to be happy, so why would he complain? Besides that, he's a pretty independent man and he likes that I'm independent and have my own hobbies. 

On the flip side, I'm not one of those who'll never do anything with him because of my horses. I go on vacations with him (find a good horse sitter), weekends away, nice dinners, go out on the town, motorcycle rides, etc. I started feeding round bales this year to make it easier for us to spend time together when we want to without worrying about the horses getting fed. Sometimes I give up a planned ride because he's really excited about doing something with me, not always by any means, but I make sure I'm not always picking my horses over him either. 

In my opinion it's about a balance and working together to enjoy your lives together and separately. If literally all I was interested in was my horses, never wanted to take any vacations, or wanted to go anywhere with my boyfriend/hubby because I wanted to spend time with my horses I probably wouldn't have a boyfriend/hubby..


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## Jessabel (Mar 19, 2009)

It's not really an issue for me. Everyone knows my horses come first, period.

That would be the first thing I tell a guy. My horse and I are a package deal. He better accept the horse (and my cat clan, for that matter) or it'll never work out. :wink:


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## digggin (Mar 15, 2012)

Wow I read all the comments on this post. There seems to be a few lucky people who have a partner who enjoys the horses also and some that are tolerant of the critters. Very interesting. I know a couple that actually divorced over the ownership of a horse because of the time involved. 

Great to hear all the different circumstances involved in horse ownership and relationships.


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## themacpack (Jul 16, 2009)

To my husband's credit - he is really trying. He was 100% city-slicker when we met. When I finally talked him into getting a horse for DD, I promised he wouldn't have to do a thing with the horse (well, except for the fact that he and FIL had to build the barn, lol, but that was building - which they love - not really *horse stuff*). DD and I have kept that word and have not asked him to do one single thing for the horse (now horses). BUT -- he has volunteered on more than one occasion and is actively seeking out chances to interact with the horses, get to know them, learn what he can and has even ridden a couple of times. He is by no-means horse crazy, but he is horse-likey, and that's a start.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

I have run into men who treat the wives things as frivolous while their stuff is important stuff. A friend's husband seemed to support her wanting a horse as she'd ridden for years prior to marrying. They bought a small farm, big barn, good pasture. New horse arrived. Before long he was complaining and things began to go downhill. I heard this saying and tho't it hilarious. Would you rather in her spare time that your wife went to the bar or the barn? He stopped complaining as he knew his wife had been quite the party gal before marrying.


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## NavigatorsMom (Jan 9, 2012)

It's not an issue for me.  My boyfriend is very supportive of my riding and will sometimes even come out to the barn with me to take photos while I ride - I've even gotten him up on Navigator a couple of times, and he seemed to enjoy it.


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## Sfarms (Mar 28, 2012)

For me yes, My husband and I are fine, we both work our cattle farm and he also enjoys horses, the problem and guilt comes in with my 2 yr old daughter. I am a stay at home mom and also work on our farm so sometimes I feel really bad when I want to go ride, work and train my horse. I see my horse everyday, work and ride her at least four times a week, but I often feel bad becasue I feel as if I need to be giving my daughter 110% of my attention and time. This its not only with horses I feel this way, its about really anything I do that does not include my daughter.l:?


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## MakeYourMark (Feb 10, 2012)

Heck, if a relationship got in the way of my horse, I know which would have to go.


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## nvr2many (Jan 18, 2011)

SorrelHorse said:


> Well :rofl:
> 
> Me and my Mom do EVERYTHING without telling my dad. We've bought cars, trailers, tvs, concert/movie tickets, training, saddles....We once brought home two new horses (Costing us around $20,000) and we just threw them in with the others and he never noticed until we told him. :rofl:


:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap::clap:

I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

nvr2many said:


> ...I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I don't. I would never treat my wife that way, and would be furious if she did it to me. Maybe it is just MY finances or lack thereof, but I cannot imagine spending 20 grand without discussing it with my wife...:shock: :shock: :shock: :evil: :evil: :evil:


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

The horses and farm came before me, they've been a huge part of my life since day 1. Any guy that knew me knew horses were part of the package, didn't like it, take a hike. 

My hubby was very non-horsey when we started dating but has always been willing to learn. He worked up the ranks from manure shoveler to hay stacker to fence fixer and now after 12 years he has his own and rides with me quite often. He's very supportive of the horses and has found his niche with them. He really enjoys the babies, he likes halter breaking and the beginning steps. Fine by me, I'd rather ride. 

He's gotten to be pretty handy with them, never complains and every sat/sun he lets me sleep in and does chores for me  There is an occasional text or call saying "Now who gets this supplement?" :lol:

You can also add me to the "bought a horse without his knowledge" camp. My last one in fact. He didn't know until I pulled in with the truck & trailer and unloaded her. God love him, he even rode her that first day with me...yep, my non-horsey hubby who I had to beg to wear wranglers and ride western when we first started dating got on the mongo warmblood in an english saddle. He hasn't since but hey, at least he tried :wink:


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## Regula (Jan 23, 2012)

bsms said:


> I don't. I would never treat my wife that way, and would be furious if she did it to me. Maybe it is just MY finances or lack thereof, but I cannot imagine spending 20 grand without discussing it with my wife...:shock: :shock: :shock: :evil: :evil: :evil:


I'd agree with that. It's not just about the money, but about respect for the partner (or lack thereof).


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## PaintHorseMares (Apr 19, 2008)

We will have been married 33 years in June....that probably tells you everything.


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## Joe4d (Sep 1, 2011)

My horse is my relationship.


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## sirgalahadkem (Apr 24, 2012)

My boyfriend is not into horses but has been on mine 2 times (the only 2 times he's ever sat on a horse too!) While I'm not in the greatest financial position, I feel I made a comitment to my horse for life after rescuing him. My boyfriend knew this from day one and says that he chooses his battle and the horse is not one of them and he knows he'd awaken the wrath of his red-headed jersey girlfriend then be alone again lol


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## chaseranya (Jan 6, 2012)

Yes difinatly. I've had horses my whole life. They are my passion. He has only had bad experinces. But he's learning.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

bsms said:


> I don't. I would never treat my wife that way, and would be furious if she did it to me. Maybe it is just MY finances or lack thereof, but I cannot imagine spending 20 grand without discussing it with my wife...:shock: :shock: :shock: :evil: :evil: :evil:


Absolutely agree. Money don't come all that easy to just go and do whatever I wanna to (may be because I'm not rich). Any costly purchase should be discussed within a family first IMO. 

As for "get in the way" I own 2 horses and bunch of pets (the latter always had since I was 5 yo) I'm not going to sacrifice. You either accept it the way I am or not. Take it or leave it.


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## starfia (Nov 13, 2010)

Nope. Me and my boyfriend are both into horses and have plans to buy a gelding, we often go to the yard together and enjoy the jobs and riding together - I guess that's a good thing about having a partner that loves horses as well. We also have separate hobbies but at least the biggest time consuming hobby we share, and often use yard time to spend together  gives us something we both love to do!


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## Allison Finch (Oct 21, 2009)

Does your horse get in the way of your relationship?

NEVER!!

Does my relationship get in the way of my horse?

Only briefly :twisted:


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## starfia (Nov 13, 2010)

bsms said:


> I don't. I would never treat my wife that way, and would be furious if she did it to me. Maybe it is just MY finances or lack thereof, but I cannot imagine spending 20 grand without discussing it with my wife...:shock: :shock: :shock: :evil: :evil: :evil:


Agree with this, me and my partner tell each other what we buy (unless its a gift for each other) even if its £5 DVD we still say that we bought it or are going to buy it, we discuss anything expensive before we buy it.


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## Casey02 (Sep 20, 2011)

Let just say im slowly converting him to the dark side.... 


He actaully came with me to buy a saddle at 8 at night, i was shocked! I got him to the point where he said he would be interested in owning one later in life. When we have a house etc. For now he will come out and visit the horse i have and finds him to be a goof (hes got quiet the personality that horse)

Im happy because he likes doing all the farm work so it works out mostly!


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## Spotted Image (Aug 10, 2011)

In ways, but not really. My boyfriend knew I came with horses and they was staying in my life. He really enjoys horses, but getting a place of our own involves him getting a better job because I won't get rid of the horse. It only effects us financially.


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## mysticalhorse (Apr 27, 2011)

My husband can take'em or leave'em but knows my passion for them. Though I am surprising him wth a trip out to meet a new born colt tomorrow morning. He wants to get a baby to raise and I think I found a great one in this colt. Then if he agrees we can bring both the dame and colt home till time to wean or leave them there.... Oh the possibilities!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Walkamile (Dec 29, 2008)

I have really enjoyed reading all the responses. We are such a diverse group!

When I married Don, I was horseless, and thought I would never attain that dream. He is the reason I have my horses, horse trailer and dream saddle. He knows the enjoyment I get from the horses and the friendships that developed through the horses. We share so many interests, but also have separate interests. Keeps things interesting.

Now, after over 20 years (closes to 30) of marriage, he has decided that he wants to ride with me. Over joyed doesn't quite cover how I feel about it. While he won't ride as often or as long as I do, I am happy that he is willing to share a part of this area of my life. 

He never censors how often I ride, but I make sure to spend time doing other things we enjoy with him. I think someone here used the word balance. That's what I strive for in all aspects of my life. I don't want to be one dimensional.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

To have successful happy relationship (I've been happily married for 33 years), it takes compromise and balance. Yes my husband does ride & takes lessons with me but he just does it for the exercise and so we do an activity together, is his passion is motorcycles. I have given up horseshows to go a on run with him, he's given up lots so I can keep & show horses. While I love my horses dearly & riding is my favorite thing to do, my husband & family always come first, but it all balances. That is a good feeling.


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## Adam (Feb 6, 2012)

waresbear said:


> To have successful happy relationship (I've been happily married for 33 years), it takes compromise and balance. Yes my husband does ride & takes lessons with me but he just does it for the exercise and so we do an activity together, is his passion is motorcycles. I have given up horseshows to go a on run with him, he's given up lots so I can keep & show horses. While I love my horses dearly & riding is my favorite thing to do, my husband & family always come first, but it all balances. That is a good feeling.


 
Wish I could like this 900 times!!


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## Gidget (Jan 19, 2010)

My husband has his own horse and I actually got him into it so now he is hooked! He loves them. However I am more into horses and it's all I ever think about. I THINK sometimes he gets maybe slightly annoyed because he wants to go do other things but all I want to do is ride but he understands.


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## glam1 (Mar 25, 2010)

My husband complains ...... but he knows the boys come first! They have to the are dependant on me for their welfare. I work . He works. We both have hobbies and we have our own money. I think we would be insane without our hobbies. He does the odd poo pickup and did feed them when they were in the ""backyard"" .
I have loved the stories.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Well, unlike some other posters, I have never been able to get my husband into horses.:-( He loves them as if they were "dogs", but other than that - no interest. He is really good about helping me out with them. So, no complaints there. But, to be honest, I really wish he were as interested as I. So, in that sense..yes, it really gets "in the way".


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## raisinandelana (Sep 11, 2011)

I am actually in the process of breaking things off with my s.o. of 2.5 LONG YEARS because he is unsupportive of my horse (that i bought last august). He always complains about my 'hay burner' and how much money and time I spend with him. But its no big deal when HE goes to the casino and blows 200 bucks twice or more a month. Doesent help that since I have gotten him, every time we would get into a disagreement he would threaten to take my boy to the sale barn. I have moved back in with my dad, and moved him to his aunts barn who will keep him no matter what for a small fee every month. I am very envious of all of you that have husbands, fiances and boyfriends that support their passion for horses. Hopefully someday I will be able to be as lucky!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

raisinandelana said:


> I am actually in the process of breaking things off with my s.o. of 2.5 LONG YEARS because he is unsupportive of my horse


I'm sorry you're going through this; I hope one day you'll find that special someone who loves horses _nearly_ as much as you do


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## raisinandelana (Sep 11, 2011)

No reason to be sorry but thanks 
I have horrible taste in men, mostly all of my life. After all this is said and done, I will be sure to make it very clear my boy comes first, and if he cannot deal with it, keep a truckin down the road.... and don't let my size 12 ariat get stuck in your butt on the way. Lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## midnighthighway (Jun 6, 2011)

nope not with my currrent boyfriend, he rides and participates in rodeo.. my last one.. yes cause hes allergic to horses


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## Ripper (Apr 1, 2012)

I gave up horses before I married my husband.

He knew I had boxes of ribbons and trophies in the attic.

Once in a while I would say something about my show gelding.

In the past year or so I was thinking about getting three broodmare mares again.

This spring his CPA told him he needed another write off.

I said horses....the CPA said fine.

My barns will not be finished until July.


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## zurmdahl (Feb 25, 2009)

I've never had a relationship problem because of my horses, I had them long before I started dating my boyfriend and he knows that my life pretty much is centered around them. He isn't a huge horse fan but he comes to shows every now and again and has come to the barn a few times. Honestly without riding or even being around horses I get cranky so I imagine we would have a whole lot more problems if I had to give up my horses.


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