# All About Indie -- Progress Journal



## Jore

*September 7, 2012*

Just a quick summary of last night because my keyboard is acting up some.

I spent around four and a half hours at the barn last night after school just trying to get Indie settled in. I rode her walk/trot just because she was still getting used to the barn and it was her first time in the ring. She didn't even flinch when the pigeons were flying around making noise, which my lease horse has quite a few times.

She's incredibly patient and sweet, although a bit pushy. While riding, she was a bit antsy at first but after awhile, she calmed down and was able to keep a rhythm. I admit that I was a bit stressed out, so I'm thinking that today will be much better.


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## SouthernTrails

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Congratulations on inquiring Indie

She is a looker 


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## natisha

You both look good. 
Maybe try lowering your bit a little. I know, I know, everyone as it high because everyone has it high.


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## ilovepie32

Congrats!! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

Thanks everyone! She appears to have a slight allergy to bug bites, but my instructor is putting some stuff into her feed that is supposed to help. Once we get the bug bites minimalized, and we get some weight and muscle on her.. she's going to be stunning!  I'll try lowering her bit some, thanks! I had some difficult adjusting it but I'm going to clean it tomorrow so I'll change it then.

*September 8, 2012*

I headed to the barn at 8:30 this morning, and got home at about 1:45.. so it was a relatively long morning.

When I first got there, she was eating her _very_ large breakfast so I decided to get the polos re-rolled while she ate.. after she was done, I brought her out onto the cross ties and tried to wrap her legs. I got three legs done pretty well, except when it came time to re-do the front right.. she seemed to be a bit restless. Eventually, she kept her leg down long enough for me to get it wrapped nicely. Indie is the most patient, yet impatient horse, I've met.. which is somewhat contradicting but it's true. She was awfully glad when I finally put her bridle on.. she shook her head about five times before convincing me that I may have adopted a special needs horse haha. 

Our ride started out frustrating to say the least.. the stirrups were killing my feet and she kept trying to trot off with even the slightest leg pressure. I'm trying to teach her to differentiate when I mean change gait and just when I'm keeping a bit of lower leg on. I remembered my instructor always saying, "when you have difficulty with a gait, work on whatever leads up to it", so we worked on stopping and walking for a good forty minutes. By the end, she would stand for ten to fifteen seconds while I was on her back with a loose rein and she'd walk a few circles on a loose rein with no attempts at trotting off.. so I stopped it there.  We walked around the arena a few times practicing standing still until we headed up.

I untacked her and hosed her off until all her joints were cool to the touch and then I brought her in to rub her legs down and put fly spray on her. After I let her eat some grass outside, I put her in her stall to finish her grain and munch on hay. I also tried the anti-cribbing spray and she didn't try grabbing the stall gate.. maybe it was just a coincidence though, we'll see!

While giving her a break from the cross ties, I rolled up my polo wraps and cleaned out my supply box. I really hope the stuff from Schneider's soon because I'd like to have a fly sheet on her as soon as possible.. plus her halter and cribbing collar are a bit old and not too nice looking. 

Then, I brought her out again to check her joints and I hosed them all off again just to be safe.. since I knew she'd be in her stall again for the afternoon. There's another mare in a stall across from her, because she had thrown a shoe so she was waiting for the farrier to come.. so at least Indie has company.  We walked around the dooryard to stretch out her legs and I let her munch on some grass. I think she's a true grassaholic, I don't think I've ever seen another horse eat grass that fast haha.. so I would take her for a lap around the driveway in between every few bites. She ended up pulling the root up with a patch of grass so she continued to shake it around until the bottom fell off.. I thought it was pretty funny. 

So needless to say, our day started out a bit rough but it ended on a wonderful note.  I'm just hoping I can get a ride over tomorrow!


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## Jore

I also managed to get a hornet stuck under the collar of my jacket which resulted in two stings.. I was just fastening Indie's cribbing collar and all of a sudden, I had the worst feeling in the side of my neck. I guess I'll just be grateful that it was me and not Indie!

Also, here's another picture from last night..


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## ilovepie32

I love how you go into detail about everything you did with her. It's exciting to hear about a person getting a new horse, but not many people tell what happens after that. I may start one of these for my horse 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## ilovepie32

Oh, and sorry to double post, but she is SO gorgeous!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

Thanks! I'm completely biased, but I agree.  She's basically that perfect shade of chestnut.. not too red, not too brown. Even my mom loves her! I'm so excited to see her with more weight on her and her new halter, she'll be the envy of the barn! The only negative thing my instructor has really talked about is her "race horse legs".. but the vet said most of what's there is simply "cosmetic" so to speak, and she said Indie should be good to go so I'm hoping she was right. I've become pretty vigilant about her joints though.

And that's why I wanted to make one. I had started one back in December 2010 for my lease horse but only made a few entries. I figure that since Indie is actually mine, I should write everything down so that I can go back and compare her progress.


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## Copperhead

LOVE that picture, by the way!


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## Jore

Thanks! I had a super concentration face on, and it's a little blurry where Indie was being a goof and flapping her lip.. but I guess we're perfect for each other in that way, we both have a hundred and one different quirks.

I found a video (although I can watch all the ones at Fort Erie on their website) of her back in her racing days as well..

Fort Erie Race


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## Jore

*September 9, 2012*










So I went down again today at 2:30.. and low and behold, Indie was out in the pasture with the mares! She was just grazing by herself, with most of the mares up towards the gate. By the time I had my boots on and was on my way to get her, most of them had left but Indie was heading over to the bale of hay in near the end of the pasture. Maybe it was a coincidence but when she saw me, she walked right over and let me walk her out the gate. 

I decided to wash her mane since it almost appeared like she had dandruff, so to speak. It looks tonnes better! She stood pretty well for it too and didn't toss her head like Major did. After, I decided to take her down to the arena for groundwork after I conditioned her mane and tail. We worked on stopping, walking forward and backing up.. I'm really trying to get her to learn to stay standing for longer than fifteen/twenty seconds. 

She also seemed to make many friends today out in pasture. When my instructor was bringing some of the mares in for the night, Indie greeted each of them with a bellowing whinny. The woman who owns the Morgan gelding, Oscar, ended up laughing at her and telling me how she must be the newest socialite. She also calls Indie, Oscar's "girlfriend" since they're right across the aisle from each other. 

After I had her groomed up and had walked her around for twenty minutes, I put her in her stall with some hay and her grain so that I could clean her bridle. I sat right beside her stall for a good half hour or more just cleaning it.. every so often, I caught her looking through the bars at me. I also finally re-adjusted it because the other day, I couldn't get it through the fourth hole.. so I finally just took a pen and fixed it.

Once I had that done, I brought her out again to walk her around for a good bit before getting her ready to ride. I think my polos looked a bit better today.. better spacing, made it to the top, etc. 

Indie has the worst habit of walking off as soon as she feels pressure in the stirrup.. so today, I'd put my foot on it, push down and as she tried walking off, I'd back her up. Eventually, I got on and I was almost on before she tried walking off. So, we backed up, and stayed stopped for a few moments. She gets a little pacey for some reason when we do that, but usually she figures it out after awhile.

Her walking was quite a bit better, there was a lot less of me reminding her of what I wanted. She walked on a nice loose rein.

Trotting was another story.. she just wanted to race. I did many, many circles and after I got a nice 20m circle at a nice rhythm, we stopped. I figured I'd end it there and I walked her out by hand.

After we were back up at the barn, I untacked her and hosed her down.. paying special attention to her legs. I rubbed her right hind leg down with liniment again, as I did all of them before riding but felt like the right hind leg might be a bit sore. Once I walked her around more, I put her cribbing collar on her and went to take my boots off.. then I put a few flakes of hay in her stall. She should sleep well tonight as her stall is well-bedded and she has a lot to eat and drink. 

I also forgot to mention that Belle, a 14.1hh black mare, tried kicking her today and Indie ran into the fence.. not aware that it was there. My instructor said she wasn't hurt.. nor did she even squeal, but actually ended up running right back into it. She's also loving all the grass, I could swear I could already see a difference in her! 

Moral of the story, _I love Indie_! :happydance:


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## tinyliny

YOu are doing a great job of taking care of that mare.
one small thing, . for ground work, a lead with no chain will be a better choice.


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## Jore

Thank you, that means a lot! 

And yes, I have one ordered along with a new halter. I'll just borrow one of the barn's leads next time.. but I'm hoping that my stuff from Chick's will come in this week. Her blankets should be here by tomorrow as well as her new cribbing collar.


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## Hailey1203

She is absolutely stunning! What are your plans with her?


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## Jore

Thank you!

And I'm not sure yet.. the vet said no jumping so I'm thinking of maybe doing lower level dressage. As of right now, I've decided to focus strictly on walk/trot because I've always been taught that each gait is a stepping stone for the next.. so even though I liked her canter, I want to improve her walk and trot before we do a lot of canter work. I think she has a lot of potential but I just need to get to it.  She's so willing to work and is incredibly sweet so it'll be a fun project.


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## Hailey1203

Its incredible that youre willing to do whatever she is capable. That shows that you truly do love her!

I definitely agree with the stepping stone anology, thats how i train as well!


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## Jore

Yepp, I just figure that I'll have plenty of time to own the horse who can "do it all".. plus my instructor would probably let me use one of the lesson horses for a jumping lesson if I needed to.


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## Jore

Had a lesson last night and I have one tonight as well, so I'll post a summary for both days tonight!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

*September 11, 2012*

Went out and Indie was up near the gate with a few of the mares.. although she was a good ten feet away from them all. I ran down and she walked right over so I could clip on the lead rope and walk her out. She seemed pretty happy to see me and her legs looked even better.

My polo wraps also looking pretty great, I have to say.  I tacked her up and we went to our first lesson together, which was her first time being ridden in a ring with other horses. A 12hh pony named Romeo (who is probably almost as speedy as she is) and the same 14.1hh mare who kicked her out in the pasture.. the girl riding her is riding her for her owner. Indie handled it pretty well although she seemed to dislike little Romeo. She'd pin her ears right back whenever they came too close. I'd never seen her pin her ears back before then so I was surprised.

We did a lot of whoa-ing and keeping still while the individual work was going on. Once it was our turn, we got on the 20 metre circle and worked on bending and supplying her.. we then did a few strides of cantering. My instructor said she's like a gazelle, and that her canter didn't look half as good as it felt, but she also said her legs are pin straight.. which isn't true, she has pretty good angulation. 

All in all, I was pretty happy with how she went. After I had her hosed off, I let her graze beside Romeo (with myself and my barn friend with the lead ropes) for a good ten minutes so we could talk for awhile. Once she left, Indie and I headed into the barn and finished getting ready. It was her first night outside so I was worried for awhile but she seemed to make out fine. 

Also, we finally heard back from the vet about the x-rays and she said she was very pleasantly surprised. She had feared that Indie had mild to moderate arthritis but she discovered that quite a bit of cartilage remained and that she was only starting to show signs of arthritis so the supplement will be an even bigger help!  She said she was quite impressed with how well her joints had held up.

*September 12, 2012*

Today we spent probably twenty minutes on lateral flexion in my private lesson. I felt like I was on a merry-go-round! I discovered that while Indie is very soft and responsive to aids, she's incredibly stubborn and set in her ways.. so to speak. After trying to get her to give her head through the lateral flexion, and spinning around about a hundred times.. I think I can honestly say that I was slightly disoriented.  I told my instructor that we should be playing jeopardy music. Finally, she caught on and her reactions got much quicker. *thank goodness!*

Then, we worked on trying to get her to learn how to bend. After I finally got her bending at the trot, I was in the midst of a huge dizzy spell.. my instructor had me keep her going at the trot, with my outside rein thrown away, just trying to get her to bend on the circle.. no matter how small I had to make it. Just picture Indie going in a relatively fast trot, in a 10 metre circle for a good few minutes before finally giving her head. Needless to say, we took a nice walk break so I could get re-oriented and so that she could have a breather.

After that, we walked her out and I cold hosed her legs and groomed her up before putting her outside. 

Oh yes, and apparently my instructor doesn't believe that Indie only wears a 74" blanket.. so I'm hoping that she's wrong, because I already changed the order and it's been shipped, all $450 of it.


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## Jore

*September 13, 2012*

Her new blankets and fly mask came today! The size 74 seemed to fit quite well, although her high wither made it somewhat a bit tight around the area, although she could still graze and move around comfortably. There was plenty of extra room to go around.  Plus her fly mask seemed to fit well, plus it had a double velcro closure so that should keep it on.

I didn't ride today, I just groomed her, rubbed down her legs and got her all dressed up before putting her outside.

I ended up just sitting out by the pasture for ten minutes before my dad came. Ally, an older mare, came to graze a bit closer to her until Molly came over and Indie decided to move away. Then Ally ended up kicking at her so she trotted a bit farther off. When I left, she was grazing happily and was in a closer radius to the rest of the herd.


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## Jore

*September 15, 2012*

No riding today but Indie finally got her feet done! The farrier said the thrush in her hind feet is up to the hairline so he told us what to get and after my mom ran to the store, he showed me how to apply it. He said once we get it cleared up, there'll be a big difference. 

He also put on new aluminum shoes, he said it'll make it easier on her front legs because there'll be less impact since aluminum is much lighter. He also discovered a five degree difference in the angles of her heels on the front feet which he said causes extra tension on her tendons and was why she stood with her front left leg more forward. He took it down three degrees and there was already a _huge_ difference.. she was standing evenly on both feet.

The farrier apparently used to really be involved with racing Standardbreds so he knew a lot about leg care and recommended an anti-inflammatory. He thinks she's a really nice mare and said he was always told "be cautious when you shoe a Thoroughbred for the first time" but he found her to be incredibly calm.. she was falling asleep almost.

Then a man came to say hi to him and apparently he is sending a Standardbred mare up to Toronto to race and he asked a bit about Indie's past. He couldn't believe how calm she was and commented on how relaxed she looked.. he also suggested that maybe the bug allergy was actually a bedding allergy, whereas the farrier thought a food one. He said an anti-fungal soap helped his mare when she had hives before he found out about her allergy to saw dust.

They also wanted to bet money that she had Secretariat lines because of how much she looked like him.. even though I know he's not in her pedigree.  They agreed that she was a really lovely mare and probably the calmest Throughbred they'd ever met.

It was raining super hard when we left the barn so luckily Indie isn't too prissy about the rain. I'm going down tomorrow to ride and bathe her so hopefully it goes well.  Lots of bending, suppling and standing still is in order!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

*September 16, 2012*

Started out good, ended in me just getting frustrated and disappointed. I suppose that's my ADD kicking in.

I was looking forward to spending the afternoon riding and giving Indie a nice bath, so I was expecting a lovely time.

It started out great, you know, that great feeling you get when your horse starts walking to greet you as soon as she notices you're coming to get her. 

I even got three of my polo wraps on nearly perfect today! The right hind one didn't go on too great though, so I had to try it again. When I did, Indie refused to keep her foot down. She'd bring it up to her stomach and act like she was going to kick me.

A brief refresher, Indie has thrush in all four feet.. only a mild case in the front feet and the hind feet are pretty bad, the right one being the worst. We're caring for it with the farrier's recommendation of treatment.

I ended up assuming that her hoof was bothering her so I decided I'd just give her a bath and then do some groundwork. 

While hosing her down, as soon as I went to spraying her hind legs, she'd bring them up.. which is why I'm assuming her hooves were bothering her because she's been hosed down several times and I've wrapped her legs many times as well. The farrier said we could expect a bit of sensitivity from the product but that it'd work to clear up the thrush and soon we'd notice a great improvement. I don't doubt it in the slightest, but I just wish that today would've gone better.

At least I got in some groundwork for five minutes though.. and now my next visit will be on Tuesday so who knows what'll happen then. Fingers crossed. :-|


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## Jore

*September 18, 2012*

Had a group lesson tonight! It actually went quite well but I'll further summarize the evening below.

My dad and I headed up around 4:30 and I got there at 4:50. Indie was in the pasture heading up to the hay holder for some hay, although my barn buddy was helping my instructor bring in some of the horses for their supper so Indie knew she'd get to come in soon. I rushed to get my boots on and met my barn buddy about half way and she said Indie had looked her at her with a relatively confused face and followed her and Livvy to the gate. When Indie saw me coming, she whinnied and walked over to the gate.

When she first came out, I couldn't believe the difference in her hind legs! No swelling in the pasterns which meant that her thrush is getting better! :-D 

After, I was cleaning her hooves and oh my goodness, what a difference! Before her right hind hoof had no point and there was a deep crevice.. but tonight, you could see the new frog forming and the crevice was hardly that deep. Still a little sensitive but once she realized I wasn't giving up, she let me wrap her leg. 

For our warm up, we did lots of lateral flexion and circles with an exaggerated bend. She was much less stiff, she gave her head in the matter of a few seconds instead of minutes. She also was bending nicely through her circles.

After, my instructor set up two squares (made of ground poles) and we serpentined through before we rode down center line. Considering Indie has not amy experience going over more than one ground pole, her striding was really nice. She didn't touch a single pole up until we did canters down the long side and she became harder to collect. That's a new thing to work on! There were times when she was trotting in a nice frame so that was lovely. 

Oh yes, and we came to the conclusion that she has something against Romeo, the speed demon of a 13hh pony gelding. She pinned her ears back _whenever_ he came close.. she wasn't quite as bad towards the other mare (who is in her herd) but the mare pinned her ears a couple times at her.

Other than that, it was great and once I coldhosed her legs, rubbed them down and then took care of her feet.. she went back out in the pasture. I got a picture of her and Maggie having a seemingly nice interaction but I'll have to post it once I get on my laptop. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

*September 19, 2012*


IMAG0306-1-1 by Right Cute Cali, on Flickr

(picture taken on my phone.. so not great quality!)

Today's lesson actually went pretty well. She's bending so much better! She was a little stiff to start with, but my instructor said she was inside all day.. which explained why her hind legs were a bit puffy. (the swelling was gone after I rode)

At the start, I ended up trotting her for a few laps each way just to get out a bit of energy as she wasn't focusing too well. After that, we did a three loop serpentine, going over two ground poles for the two end loops. Her striding is getting pretty darn good and by the end of our lesson, she was going in a frame with a nice inside bend! :-D 

She's super sensitive to leg, so I'm working on keeping leg pressure on her at all times and just applying more as necessary. She's slowly catching on, although by the end of the lesson, she was much better! 

My instructor also complimented how my polo wraps are getting better and better; she also added that she can see a pretty huge difference in Indie since having her feet done and being on the supplement. Indie is turning into such a looker!

She didn't want to go outside afterwards, as it was dark and she couldn't see really but I coaxed her in slowly and she walked out towards the other mares. I gave her a smooch and rubbed her neck! I know that horses don't have human emotions, and I don't allow her to push me around (ie: itch her head on me.. I'll itch it for her but I don't allow her rubbing up on me or anything of the sort).. but I figure it doesn't hurt!  On another note, she's getting better at taking the bit instead of me having to shove my fingers in the corner of her mouth to get her to open.

Also, we're ordering some nice turquoise SMB3s tomorrow plus a new winter blanket (need a size bigger since we're estimating she'll have weight put on) as well as a midweight blanket for the fall since it's starting to get cooler.


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## Jore

*September 20, 2012*

No barn today.. but we're ordering a new winter blanket (since my instructor says the current one probably won't fit once she gains more weight) plus some other things:

- StormShield V-Tek Waterproof/Breathable Neck Cover (220gm; black)
- StormShield V-Tek Marathon Original Turnout Sheet (80gm; black w/ red)
- StormShield V-Tek Marathon Bellyband Turnout (380gm; black w/ red)
- The SMB3 value pack (black)
- Dura-Tech Contour Wool Blend Cooler (black)

It should be here by the end of next week depending on how soon they call back to give us the shipping quote so they can ship it out.


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## Jore

*September 21, 2012*

Got down to the barn today! Indie didn't even glance at me during my walk through the field but she didn't make a fuss about calming and just happily walked alongside me until we got to the cross ties.

I got her all groomed up and her legs rubbed down before wrapping her legs and tacking her up to take down to the arena. Molly and her leaser (soon-to-owner.. so happy for Molly as she's spent most of her life as a lesson horse since being bought by my instructor when she was two) were down there as well before they left for a trail ride.

My instructor ended up bringing a beginner student down for a lesson while I was working on leg pressure and bending with Indie. I'd keep Indie going at a trot, with my inside leg on until she started to move over and bend. Once she got three circles in frame and with an inside bend, I'd give her a walk break. She caught on quite quickly! :-D

I did it in both directions before calling that part quits since I wanted to end that on a good note. I also just did lots of leg pressure at a walk since she tends to trot off, so after I could rub my inside leg on her without her trotting and just moving outwards, I hopped off and walked her out.  I was _very_ happy with how she went, at one point, she couldn't passed as a WP horse if she wasn't 16hh and a skinny Thoroughbred. 

I also realized exactly how tall she is, she made Major look _so_ short, which I suppose he is.. at 15.1hh.  

Afterwards, I hosed her down and treated her hooves before putting her back outside. I think she made friends with the little Arabian mare, although maybe she mistook Indie for Annie because Mirabelle and Annie are best buds.. who often run off together and give Annie's leaser a hard time getting her from the pasture.


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## Jore

Indie's Warm Up (Part of it anyways!)
*September 23, 2012*

Today went so good! 

I first got to the barn at around 11 and go figure, Indie and the rest of the mares were _all_ the way at the end of their pasture.. so I took a short cut through the middle pasture and crawled under the fence. Belle looked at me like I was crazy but oh well! 

It seems that Indie and Maggie, aka the "alpha mare" have become pretty good buddies. They were eating together when I got there, and Indie went and found her again once I left. I was just overjoyed that Maggie didn't go to the trouble of following us back.

After I got her all tacked up and groomed, I took her down to the arena. We worked on lateral flexion for a bit and just doing lots of little circles with inside bend. Once I had her doing bigger circles, with inside bend and she wasn't trying to trot forward.. we moved onto trot work.

She grabbed onto the headset so much quicker today! After one canter attempt, she got into a decent frame and got more under herself with the help of my inside leg and a tiny bit of contact. It's nice to finally have her understanding that inside leg means move the rib cage over.

After that was going well, I decided to throw in a canter transition. It took a couple tries to get the correct lead, but it was a nice little canter.. or should I say, huge, ground-covering canter.  I put some inside leg on and got some more contact and she went into a frame and inside bend around her corners. I brought her back and she was a bit worked up so I kept trotting her until I got three nice, in-frame circles.

Then, I got off and I walked her out by-hand. Before too long, another local instructor was here to check out the winter blanket to buy it.. so there's another $100 to put towards the new ones! :-D

I was really, really, really happy about today! I cleaned Indie's leather halter while I let her dry off after being hosed down.. so she got to chow down on some hay while I worked some more. Then I put the flymask on over her halter/cribbing collar and put her outside, where she immediately went over to where Maggie was and when I pulled out of the driveway, they were off to the side together eating. :-D


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## Jore

*September 25, 2012*

Well, today was definitely interesting.. both great and somewhat bad. 

It started out good, nice bending.. walking on a loose rein. Her lateral flexions were relatively quick and her back ups were a bit stiffer but we haven't been working on them as much so that's no surprise. She also went into frame and got balanced quicker this time. She also is figuring out the meaning of leg pressure.. she gets better each ride! Yay! 

Then, we were all to canter on a 20m circle.. yes, the three of us students. Now, with Major, it would've have been an issue. But, with my green-broke OTTB, I figured it'd be interesting. She was already lapping everyone at the walk. We basically just cantered up behind the person in front of us, so like a domino effect.

Indie got the correct lead going left lead, but not right lead.. I'm going to guess that'll be a longlasting battle because she was probably trained that way at the track. She _can_ get correct leads, but I need to get quicker at figuring out which is and which. She also did a flying lead change on the circle.. but of course, it was all her doing. (the little goof)

Her canter-trot transitions are a ginormous work-in-progress, as in, it takes quite a few circles to get her somewhat settled down. Ironically, her canter-walk transition was darn near perfect. She started to walk almost immediately and calmly walked off on a loose rein. I gave her a huge rub on the neck for it.. so hopefully our trot transitions will eventually get to be that good. 

She has so much potential and she shines more and more almost every ride! As I say in nearly every entry.. I can't wait to see how we progress!!  Maybe some day, she'll even be able to look at Romeo and not pin her ears. 

Afterwards, the barn was crowded but one of the women riding in the next group lesson kindly offered to let me use the cross-ties to quickly untack Indie so I could go hose her down. 

I threw a cooler on her while I finished taking care of her for the night. Her joints are getting so much better, they cool down faster when I hose them and usually they aren't that warm after exercise.. and they aren't warm anymore when I bring her in from inside.. so another yay!


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## Jore

*September 26, 2012*

Today went pretty good too! Although she seems to be getting more energetic with each ride.. so my instructor is expecting her to become a handful this winter. She said we'll have to lunge her in a pair of side reins before I ride, just so that she has the opportunity to burn off extra energy but in a more beneficial way as we're trying to get her to build up the correct muscles.

Not to mention different from last night, except we did 90% walk work. Getting her to relax while stopped.. backing up in-frame.. inside bending.. spiral exercises.. etc! By the end, she was much more supple and soft. She was getting impatient during the stopping and started pawing at the ground, although she stopped with a quick half halt. Like I said, she gets more energetic every ride.. so hopefully she continues to improve and doesn't go downhill.

The best part of all! My instructor told me that she thinks Indie is a very nice mare and said she could see her in a dressage class wowing the judges, as she says her trot and walk are both very nice once she's relaxed and properly bent. A few of her older students were watching for a few minutes last night and apparently they commented on how nice she was as well. Apparently she has a very nicely built neck!  My instructor added that the splints do worry her quite a bit but she said to just take it a day at a time, and if there comes a time when she's not rideable, not to blame myself because we're giving her the best care possible and a fantastic home. 

So I'm pretty happy with how it went, although I did get a tad emotional when talking about the splints.


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## Jore

*September 29, 2012*

Got to the barn at around 8:30 this morning so much to the other horses' displeasure, Indie was the first to be fed. Apparently she refuses to eat food with too much rice bran oil.. so I just poured maybe 1/8 cup over her Recovery EQ and Elite feed before adding some water in. Roger's stall is right next to hers, and since he is king of terrible barn manners and Mr. Grumpy, he continually kicked at the stall and pinned his ears. Indie just continued eating and paid no attention to him. :lol:

_My "hungry hippo" as I called her_








I took off her halter and cribbing collar (as she doesn't crib anymore between bites of food.. yay!) and let her munch on some hay while the other horses got turned out.

After the aisles were clear, I took her out on the cross ties and gave her a nice grooming before rubbing down her legs. Her hooves are also looking quite a bit better! Her hind frogs are growing back and her front ones are looking more hard and better proportioned. Yay! 

We did lots and lots of bending until she was doing a "legitimate" inside bend.. as my instructor said during my lesson that she's trying to fool us by just sticking her ears to the inside. So, now I'm more vigilant about getting an actual bend. She's getting less stiff each ride though, which is awesome! There were a set of ground poles on one side of the arena and then a line of pylon cones on the other, so I worked them all into our ride. The pylon cones were super nice for getting her bending at both the walk and trot. The poles just worked on her striding and we usually went over at a walk because she likes to pick up a trot halfway through, so I'm trying to teach her how to stick to a pace.

I walked her out before bringing her back up to the barn. I think I'm going to try to find some of those cooling boots or whatever I had seen.. I'll have to google it as I don't know how easy it'd be to cold hose her legs in the winter. :? 

Once her legs were hosed down, I put her back in her stall for fifteen minutes so that we could each grab a bite to eat. After that, I put the CopperSet on her feet and threw the cooler on her as it was a bit chilly in the aisle way. I brushed out her tail with a tonne of conditioner and put it in a nice little braid as the flies aren't around too much anymore. I also shaved her whiskers and trimmed the hair around her fetlocks and coronet bands. She was looking pretty spiffy! 

After that, I used some of the No. 2 Oil that I had won back at a clinic this summer on her mane.. as it's supposed to train the hair to stay to one side. Her mane is pretty good at being to the right except for the end, which is always flopped over. I rubbed her down with some ShowSheen just to get the extra dust off and put some Fiske's cream on all her little scratches to hopefully heal them up. She also managed to get covered in bot eggs so I made sure to get all of them off!

Once I gave her the last apple slice, we headed outside to the pasture so she could finally go eat. I organized my two tack boxes while I waited for my dad to come pick me up. Tomorrow, I'll do a bit more while riding and probably clean my tack.


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## la volpe

Sounds like she's doing well! She's a pretty little girl. c:


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## Jore

Thanks! And yes, she's improving quite a bit lately!

*September 30, 2012*






For the first time ever, Indie stood still while I mounted! She got a billion and one pats and nice shoulder rub! 

After I had her all dried off, as much to her dismay, it was pouring before I got there.. I groomed Indie up so I could take her down to the arena! I could almost swear that her splints are getting smaller.. but since they're already calcified, I don't know if that's even possible, so I'm likely just delusional!

In other news, she must've gotten bit out in the pasture because I found a decent sized cut on her butt while grooming her. I also ended up re-doing her tail braid because the bottom was muddy from the rain.. and then I french-braided the microscopic amount of hair that would normally be called a forelock. 

My polo wraps also looked pretty darn decent today as well, I'm getting quite a bit quicker as well so yay for that! Indie also had less trouble keeping her right hind leg down while I wrapped it.. and she didn't automatically kick it up as far as it could go.

During our ride, we did lots and lots of bending, lateral flexions and I tried some leg yields. For bending, I made a line of about ten pylons and we went through a few times at both a walk and trot. We also did three loop serpentines at a trot until she was going decently. What followed was circling at each letter at the trot and we'd have a walk/bending break in between.. we also practiced some whoas and standing still. All in all, our ride went quite well! 

After our ride, I hosed her legs down and let her go in her stall for a bit so that she could eat her supper. Then, I groomed her and took care of her feet.. so after she put up with me for yet another hour, she got to go back in her stall while I cleaned the saddle.

Oscar and Manny were staying in for the night, and since it was raining.. I cleaned Indie's stall, loaded it with hay and straw and gave her an apple before I headed home! She looked pretty content so hopefully she doesn't get too bored tonight.


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## Jore

*October 1, 2012*

Just a quick summary of last night since I'm off to an orthodontist appointment in a few minutes.

So Indie standing still yesterday wasn't a fluke.. I took her down to the arena during a beginner lesson (two little girls using Romeo and Annie) and miraculously, Indie stood still for me to get on with other horses walking around!

As for the ride, she finally was doing a legitimate inside bend, both ways at the trot! Her lateral flexions are much, much better and almost instant. We also worked on leg yielding at the trot, and she did great.. managed to keep herself straight throughout the whole yield.

Also, she finally decided to meet me in the pasture so I wouldn't have to walk the whole way. At first, she just looked up at me.. and then back down at the grass, and as ridiculous as it is, I started calling to her like she was a dog. (ie: smacking my knees, calling her name and doing clicking noises) Either way, it worked and she walked over.  Mirabelle, the little white Arabian, decided that she wanted to come with us but Indie pinned her ears back until I shoo'd her away.

I have a riding lesson tonight so I'll do a more indepth summary then!


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## Hailey1203

I just thought i should let you know, I'm following this thread religiously. I check every single morning. You guys are making incredible progress and Indie is lucky to have such a fantastic owner!


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## Jore

Thanks, that means a lot.. I do try really hard to take great care of her, although she makes it easy for me.. I don't think I've ever been so excited to get to the barn each day until now!

We picked her up a new trace mineral block today, but this one has added Vitamin E with apple flavouring.. so maybe she'll actually be interested in it. We bought another block holder as well, plus another hanger for her halter or whatever else I'll need to hang by her stall.


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## Jore

*October 2, 2012*

I had a group lesson tonight, although it was just two of us instead of three. I call Tuesday Indie's "work night" since usually she's pushed a little more so that we can keep up with the other two, whereas tomorrow night's lesson is always tailored to her and I specifically.

Today's lesson was on striding.. in which, Indie did surprisingly well. Laura set up four stride canter poles (or five stride trot poles) for us to go over. We were aiming for five strides at the trot and four at the canter.

First time over at the trot, we got six.. so I pushed her a little more and next time we got the five! Yay!  We went over a few more times and moved to the canter. It took us a couple times to get the correct lead but when she did, she went over the poles without stopping. A few issues though: 1) she splits her legs over the poles instead of both legs at once and 2) any slight loss of contact = instant acceleration)

Other than that, our lesson went quite well.. she stood still while mounting, was bending decently, lateral flexions were great and she was able to pick up both correct leads.

Quick summary for tonight just because I have a chemistry test to study for.. tomorrow's will be more indepth!


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## Jore

*October 3, 2012*

What a good lesson! Received a good, genuine compliment from my instructor! 

While tacking up, Indie actually kept all four legs on the ground for when I was wrapping up the polos. Usually it's a battle of the wills and I have to keep at her until she keeps it down, but today there was no issue! Surprisingly, we got down a good ten minutes early so I spent extra time on bending.

During our warm-up, one of my instructor's dogs, Thor (a pitbull/beagle mix who she adopted a few years ago after he was found tied to a tree).. ran full speed into the arena after a pigeon. Laura was out showing a woman a horse, as apparently the woman was out of horses for awhile and wanted to spend time with a few. Within a few moments, Thor had managed to grab the pigeon by it's neck.. snap the neck.. and obviously, kill it. I was just casually riding by when I saw it's head twitch before it froze. I sat there and yelled out, "THOR KILLED A PIGEON!!" to my instructor while she was out in the field.

She got in and laughed, of course.. and the rest of the pigeons ended up staying up in the rafters instead of flying around.

As for riding, lots of bending, leg yields and... trot poles! 

Things that I learned: Indie has not ever seen a set of trot poles before, nor does she know how to leg yield from my right leg. 

By the end of that exercise, she was _somewhat_ side passing from my right leg (we simplified the leg yield when we realized that she had no sweet clue) and she was getting perfect striding over the poles! Much better compared to her stopping dead in her tracks over the poles and going "omg what do I do", and me spending three minutes with as much pressure as humanly possible on her side trying to get her to move her haunches.

The genuine compliment I mentioned earlier? While on a 20m circle, once I was keeping my hands up and consistent.. Indie was going in a perfect frame! Did I mention, engaged and stretched out! My instructor said she looked great, which is probably one of the first times she's said that. She said it showed off her nice shoulder and stride length. Yay for Indie and yay for my consistent hands! 

After that, we did more bending and we also did some spirals until she kept the bend throughout. So proud! I walked her out by hand for five minutes before bringing her up. She got half an apple (I usually give her 1/8 of an apple for behaving during things like polo wrapping, the farrier and applying the CopperSet on her hooves and then 1/4 for a good ride). 

I hosed her legs down, applied ointment on all her little cuts and went to put her outside after I let her legs dry and the hoof stuff set in. When putting her out, all the mares were outside the gate.. so I ushered them away. Much to my annoyance, and for a moment panic, Molly noticed me getting an apple out for Indie.. being the piggie she is, she comes over and tries shoving Indie away. I managed to give Indie the apple about a split second before Molly comes tearing through, scaring Indie and almost causing her to run over me.. but instead, she did a nice little turn on the haunch/rear type thing to avoid me (or the electric fence.. now which seems more likely? haha).

Anyways, I'll probably give her the day off tomorrow since she's been ridden everyday this week.


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## Cacowgirl

You are doing great w/her.I'm so glad this is working out for both of you.


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## Jore

Thank you! And so far, yes! Her legs seem to be doing pretty good for this workload and we'll probably stick to this amount for the next few months until she has more training under her belt. Lots of improvement though!

*October 4, 2012*

Her blankets came in today! I'm not sure if I'll get down to the barn tonight but tomorrow night for sure probably.


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## la volpe

Good job! You'll have to share some updated photos of you two c:


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## Jore

I'll try to get some this weekend! (maybe even tomorrow) I'll see if my mom can bring her camera so she can take a longer video and a bunch of pictures.  She doesn't look too different, but her joints sound a lot better (ie: not as much "creaking" when she comes out of her stall) and she's just a lot less stiff. We're upping her grain though because my instructor wants her to put weight on a little faster than she is.

I'm hoping to get down tomorrow night and maybe Saturday morning, Sunday for sure.


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## Jore

*October 5, 2012*

Got down to the barn tonight!

I brought Indie in, after walking all the way to the end of the pasture.. where she was hiding near the trees by the fence. I had to really look hard to find her! I got her in her stall after brushing her off and fed her some supper while I wrapped polos and put her new blankets on the little "blanket line" in front of her stall. 

Once I got those all done, I got her legs rubbed down and put the polos on before saddling up. Got her down to the arena and set up some trot poles with her following me while I did so.. surprisingly, she was very good about standing still and followed me around no problem, she also stopped whenever I stopped. Yay for progress!

After I got on, we did lots of circles and lateral flexions (she's getting pretty dang good at those.. she pretty much touches her nose to my boot with no problem compared to our first lateral flexion, ie: five minutes of me going in circles to even get a slight bend). Once she got all her stiffness out, I added in some trot transitions. We did a bunch of transitions on a circle and I threw in a spiral here and there.

My instructor ended up bringing in a younger student so we worked to the inside of the arena. Get this, Indie did a few circles, went large around the arena and over the trot poles.. _all in frame_! I gave her a nice walk break before we tried out some leg yields. Going right rein, all was good.. she even did a lovely side pass. Left rein.. there were good moments and not good moments. At one point, it took her about five minutes of me constantly rubbing her side with no decrease in pressure.. not to mention the fact that she kept trying to back up so I'd have to push her forward. Oh well, she'll get it eventually, I hope!

After about forty five minutes, and a couple more trot circles in-frame, I figured I'd end it there.. so I gave her a nice neck rub before I hopped off and walked her out by-hand. 

Got her up to the barn and got her untacked in her stall for the first time since the cross-ties were occupied. I had no clue how she'd behave but she managed pretty well. Once the polo wraps were off, I went and hosed her off before putting her new black cooler on her while I did her feet. Once I had every little thing on her, from the Fiske's to the CopperSet.. I got out her new rain sheet and put it on her. It fits her pretty nicely! I love the colour.. I just wish they had the winter one of the same colour in stock (they had to swap it for tartan). It has black edges, with mainly gray plaid with some turquoise... it matches her polo wraps perfectly! 

I gave her another slice of an apple and a few carrot pieces before I went to put her in the pasture. All in all, a pretty good day and I'll be down again on Sunday to see her!


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## Jore

*October 7, 2012*

Got picked up from my friend's house earlier today so that I could go to the barn before Thanksgiving supper tonight.

Indie looked super spiffy in her new rain sheet! Seemed excited to see me, she walked right over as soon as she noticed that I was there for her! No rips in her blanket, although it was a tad dirty. 

Got her hooked onto the cross-ties and got her all groomed up before I rubbed down her legs and wrapped them. I got out the saddle and bridled her up and we headed down! I didn't have lots of time today so time before and after our ride was limited to just the necessary stuff. My dad is dropping me off tomorrow so I'll have plenty more time then.

My instructor must've been jumping Roger or Hemi because there were a few jumps set up. I left them and figured it'd just be another opportunity for Indie to get used to different objects because I highly doubt that she's ever seen jumps before. She took a few seconds to check them over while walking by, but she got over it quickly before I got on.

She didn't stand still, in fact.. she went backwards so I almost sat right on her neck.. which would not have ended well at all. I think her new way of getting out of things is backing up, as she does the same when she gets frustrated when we practice yielding her hind-end. (although she's getting much better)

We did some lateral flexions (touched her nose to both legs and she quickly softened, so she's getting much more supple!) and did lots of circles at the walk. After about five to seven minutes of walking, we went onto a 15m circle and did trot transitions. She engaged herself much more quickly and went into frame for a good circle at one point, but continued to have nice moments throughout. It'll take awhile to build up the necessary muscle but we have a start! 

Once she was more warmed up, I let her walk a lap before we worked on leg yields. She's finally realizing that leg yields start with the movement of the hind end. She actually did a few really nice side passes going right rein! Even better, is that she also did one going left which is her problem area. Much better than spending five minutes just getting her to yield her hindquarters, like on Friday.

I gave her a walk lap around the ring going large just to give her a mental break, because a) she did a good job up until that point and b) she tends to get frustrated easily so my instructor always reminds me to never to push her to that point.

Once she was relaxed again, with her head almost to the ground (okay, not quite, but her poll was a bit lower than her withers) and she wasn't flapping her lips.. I decided we'd do walk/trot transitions going around the ring just to tune her up some. We switched gait each letter so by the end, her transitions were considerably quicker and softer.

After we did about three laps of transitions each way, I decided we'd switch it up so we rotated between trotting large and trotting 10m circles.. just to keep her busy and get some energy out in a constructive way. She managed to keep a decent headset all the way around even though she had moments of speeding up, but she slowed down with a half halt or two.

After that, we went towards the center and did lateral flexions and just cooled down with a mix of walking large and walking circles. Once about five minutes went by, I walked her out by hand for another five before we headed back up.

I gave her part of an apple before I went and hosed down her legs. They weren't too warm, but I figured I would anyways just to be preventative. The flies were bugging her face while I was brushing her off and taking care of all her little cuts and scrapes so I put her fly mask on while I was finishing up. Once I had her hooves all treated, I got her blanket on and sprayed her legs and part of her neck with fly spray and put some MTG in her forelock.

I didn't bother putting her cribbing collar on her because I have yet to see her crib while outside, she's usually too busy being a little piggy. She does crib in her stall, collar or not but since she's only in there to eat breakfast/supper, it's not a huge deal. Usually if I'm there, I'll tap her nose and she'll quit it for the duration of my stay.  I've noticed that it's rubbing a bit of hair off the side of her face so I also wanted to give the hair a chance to come back.

After I closed the gate, she went right to the water, as usual, before walking off to the rest of the herd. For the first time ever, I didn't see her get chased off from the round bale! When I drove off, she was eating hay with Maggie and Mirabelle, so she should have a nice afternoon.


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## Jore

*October 8, 2012*

I got a ride down to the barn this morning from my dad, yay! Of course, Indie was being a loner out by the round bale when all the other mares were out eating grass (with the exception of Livvy and Belle who were laying down beside each other). Even better? Around the round bale is an ocean of mud! Definitely going to help her feet... not.

Anyways, I managed not to fall in the mud on my way to get her and I ended up hosing off her pasterns and hooves just so it'd be easier on the both of us. I let her hooves dry off and let her munch hay while I ran down to the arena to take down jumps and switch them for ground poles! I sat out seven trot poles (she's only ever gone over four) on one of the quarter lines, and after a good twenty minutes of lugging filthy, dusty poles around and making sure the distances were perfect.. I attempted to dust myself off and ran up to the barn.

I curried and brushed her all off before I rubbed down her legs. I had already re-rolled the polos before running down to the arena so I put those on before tacking up. The woman leasing Molly (although she's going to be buying her shortly.. maybe she already has) was down to the barn as well so I figured we'd try to get a nice ride in before we had to share an arena. (even though Indie is getting better about other horses in the arena with her)

She stood still while I got on, but then took a few steps backwards.. I made her stand for a little bit before we walked on. We did some lateral flexion, which she's a pro at now! (remember my entry about my little merry-go-round ride during her first lateral flexion?) We also did side passes and I could feel her taking bigger steps to the side and as a video confirmed, she did indeed cross each sets of legs! 

We did a billion circles of varying sizes before we threw in some trot work. At the trot, we mainly ride circles and we're starting to do lots of trot poles. I also try to get in two laps each way of walk/trot transitions (switch at each letter) just to practice. The video that my dad took was of her first time going over seven poles instead of the usual four (which she did for the first time last Wednesday) so she was hesitant at first but picked it up quickly! It definitely gave her something to think about.

I tried getting her more engaged in her hind-end and at times, she felt like she was going pretty good. Watching the video, I realize that she isn't over-tracking consistently (although she now over-tracks by a whole hoofprint and then some at the walk) but she's still learning so we'll add more focus on it now that she's catching onto the basics. 

Near the end of our ride, despite Molly warming up, I decided that we'd try to get a couple canters each way. In both directions, it took a few tries to get the correct lead but when she did, she got a nice pat! My instructor describes her canter as "up" and not "forward" so we're trying to lengthen her stride more... but for now, I'm just thrilled when she gets the correct lead!

After the canters (about the fifty minute mark of our ride), we did a lap of trot/walk transitions before I walked her a lap, hopped off and walked her out by hand for ten minutes. She's actually getting pretty good at leading, she follows me everywhere! I can walk in any direction and she'll follow, keeping the reins drooped. 

And while we were walking a lap loose-reined, I just had to smile and remember her first ride here.. which, as recorded here, didn't go quite as planned. We had spent pretty much the whole ride just on a circle trying to get her to walk calmly, so every other stride, she'd try trotting off. So a lot of improvement!

I was watching the videos of me trying her out and there's a difference in those as well! 

Got her up to the barn, untacked, gave her 1/4 slice of apple and hosed down her legs before we came back in to finish up! I gave her a nice brushing, applied Fiske's to all her little scrapes and applied the CopperSet to her feet... which by the way look so much better! Her hind right hoof has a little chip at the side but her feet will be getting done in two weeks so we'll fix it up then. The farrier said that we'll most likely see the most improvement after a few visits.

After a good hour, I finally got her rain sheet on before putting her outside. It's a little big but once she puts more weight on, it'll be perfect!  I'll be going back tomorrow night for my lesson! Also, my dad is going to try and e-mail me the file for the video so I'll post it once I get it.


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## Jore

Video from yesterday afternoon!


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## deserthorsewoman

I see progress
But....you still haven't lowered these stirrups..........;-)


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## Jore

deserthorsewoman said:


> I see progress
> But....you still haven't lowered these stirrups..........;-)


Thanks! I feel like we've made so much progress.

My instructor made me lower them by another three holes just awhile ago.. I'll have to lower them a couple more then! My legs must be longer than I thought.. although hopefully she'll get a bit more muscled and larger around the barrel so I'll have something to wrap my legs around. There's another girl who rides in the saddle so I never know when she might have changed it and I admit that I'm horrible with stirrup length. I think she is starting to get a topline though, as the saddle fit isn't so great anymore.. so we're trying to hurry and find a saddle that'll work for her.


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## deserthorsewoman

Stirrup length is measured with your outstretched arm...fingertip at the buckle where the leathers attach to the saddle,bottom of stirrup in your armpit. Once it feels right just count the holes and remember


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## Jore

*October 9, 2012*

Another group lesson tonight! I've come to the conclusion that she does have something against Romeo, because she still pins her ears whenever he comes near. She doesn't do this to any other horses that have been in the arena with her. She's a little crab towards him so I have to work a bit harder to keep her focus off of the little ******. 

After I had her all cleaned up and her legs rubbed down, I managed to get all her legs wrapped in under five minutes! New personal record! I'll be happy once our new SMBs are finally here though.. so much more convenient and quick. We headed down to the arena and hopped on. She seems to have developed a habit of letting me get on, standing still for a second and then backing up. I'll walk her forward a step and we'll stand still for a bit longer before I let her walk on.

Also, I swear she thought it was opposite day! During our warm up, which consisted of effortless lateral flexions and really nice sidepasses.. she decided to back up instead of go forward when I applied leg. Not just walk backward, but _run_ backwards. Just when I was so proud of her sidepasses and how responsive she was... she does the exact opposite of what I asked. Anyways, I finally got her going forward and after some more bending, we moved onto trot work.

My instructor had some trot poles set up, so we went over those a few times and did lots of transitions and circling. After five minutes, we added in some canter work. The arena was crowded to say the least.. usually we all just go large to make it easier for each other but today, they each took one end... leaving me with the center which was filled with trot poles. Needless to say, I got in one or two transitions each way and called it good. Still having difficulty with the correct lead, but that'll come with time.

As far as individual work, my instructor put us in a section of the arena. I had the middle, and she first set up some trot/canter poles. We trotted over them until Indie had perfect striding, I could really feel her picking herself up over the course of the exercise. After a few minutes, we added (or attempted) some canter transitions. There were two canters that were quite nice, one of which.. she had perfect striding! About the fourth time over, she started getting worked up and giving attitude, so we went back to walking and when she calmly walked over, we trotted.

Over the course of the lesson, my instructor changed up the distances and amounts just to vary it for Indie. She was definitely not going her best but it was something new to her, and she tried.. which is key. We gave all three horses a walk break and my instructor called Indie and I to one end and told the other two to just cool down at the free end.

We went on a 20m circle at a trot and she started rounding up, snorting with her head down and her hind-end coming nicely under her. Today I read that it takes one year to build a topline, and two years to develop the muscles to truly collect... so we have a long way to go! Once she was going well and rounded, we did a canter. She picked up the lead after two attempts and it went quite well. She fell in a few times but the next times around, I put on more inside leg and opened my outside rein a little bit.

After she was rounding up at the canter, we switched directions and repeated. She took a bit longer to round up, and her canter transition wasn't so quick and effortless. Eventually, we got it and she cantered much better in this direction compared to going left lead. 

Finally, I walked her out and after five or so minutes (I had to give my saddle to someone else) then brought her up. I walked her around by hand for a bit once I was up near the barn and then brought her in. I wasn't too thrilled when I discovered that the hose wasn't hooked up. So, I ended up cooling her legs down with a cold cloth.. after a good twenty minutes of that, I finally brushed her off and put her rain sheet on.

I definitely took my dear sweet time though, even Manny's owner finished after me and she usually has plenty of things to do before putting him away.  Indie was pretty happy to finally be outside again, so I unhooked the lead and told her I'd see her tomorrow night! Hopefully our lesson will go better.


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## Jore

*October 10, 2012*

Tried out the saddle that my instructor has in her shop, it's a new HDR All-Purpose saddle... not sure of specifics but it fit Indie well and although I'm not too fond of the colour, I think it'll do for now.

Indie was already in her stall when I got there, although she had finished her supper so I gave her a bit of hay while I rolled up the polos. After I was done, I brought her out and took off her rain sheet. I went into the tackroom and grabbed a few things out of my supply box (I keep two big containers.. one for general horse care and one for extra blankets, cloths, tack cleaning supplies, etc) before I came back out and starting getting her ready.

She wasn't overly muddy, but she definitely looked better once I gave her a nice quality grooming. I ran baby wipes over her just to get off the extra dust before I cleaned out her feet and rubbed her legs. I actually think I got my polos on perfectly!  My instructor said we could try out the saddle, so after a good fifteen minutes of trying to get the stirrup leathers in (which even she had trouble getting pulled through haha), we finally headed down to the arena! The saddle is still a bit wide but with a half-pad, it fits quite well so it's likely that it'll be a perfect fit once she gets a better topline.

As soon as I got on, I noticed the _huge_ difference that the saddle made. Indie was much more willing to round up and lengthen her stride which made for a much more pleasant ride. Her side-passes were great today too! Although when I try them at the end of our ride, she has a more of a "really..? do I really have to do more work?" attitude so I'll ask for only a couple steps before rewarding. Did I mention that she also backed up and was rounded?  First time ever that she hasn't show resistance, so my instructor and I were both very pleased.

After a bit of a warm up, my instructor got us going large and agreed that there was an even bigger difference at the trot. I could feel her lengthening her stride and she was coming under herself much more consistently! Very thrilled with the difference that the saddle is making, needless to say. I'll have to try and get a video next time I ride.

We also took the time to work on canter transitions. Our main focus is to get her transition more round and quiet, compared to her usual shotgun transition. She definitely favors her left lead, although by the end of ten minutes, her transitions were a bit more relaxed and she didn't drift to the inside and completely lose her mind. My instructor said that once we get her transitions a bit more quiet and round, that's when we'll worry about how quick she picks them up... although that's really the least of her problems at the moment. 

Our lesson didn't have too much variety tonight but next ride on her, I'll have plenty of ideas on what to work on and we'll each get a huge work-out! I'm really pleased with how she's progressing.. she's a little super star!

Once she was all cooled down, I threw the cooler on her and headed back up to the barn. Just as we walked through the entry, it started pouring! Luckily, by the time Indie was ready to go outside (a surprising forty five minutes later!), it somewhat slowed down. I still put on her rain sheet before taking her out to the pasture, where we were greeted by all the mares. I shoo'd them away and luckily, they behaved and let Indie walk in before they all trotted off. 

On a funnier note, I have come to the conclusion that Indie has a phobia of pumpkins. At first, I thought it might've been the pig.. but then the pig idea was eliminated when she did the same thing a couple times without Bacon even in sight. I'm assuming the culprit is the pumpkin because it's only recently been sitting there and I literally have to drag her past it... silly Indie.


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## Jore

*October 13, 2012*

First time down to the barn since Wednesday, I think Indie was happy to see me! She was pretty darn dirty, so I brushed her off really good before I went onto rub her legs down and wrap them with the polos. (those SMBs cannot come soon enough!) Her "twin", Annie, was in the stall near the cross-ties so I took a picture of the two together prior to getting Indie tacked up.










After we got down to the arena, I hopped on and we did a good ten minutes of just walking and bending. It was pretty chilly this morning so I decided it would be beneficial to extend her warm up time. We did lots of trot transitions on a circle for an additional ten minutes before moving onto anything else. I might be completely biased, but after seeing pictures and a video, Indie is doing fabulously! 














































We tried out some canter transitions.. it took awhile, so once I got her on the correct lead, we cantered a couple circles and we went down to a trot and she got a huge pat.  We did some side-passes, three loop serpentines at the trot, figure eights, etc.. lots of bending and lots of variety! She was going pretty dang well at the end of the lesson.

I walked her out by-hand for ten or so minutes before I brought her back up. I hosed down her legs (although they weren't too warm), and hooked her back to the cross-ties after letting her graze on a patch of grass for a couple minutes.

I brushed her off, treated her hooves and then I put her in her stall with a load of hay while I cleaned the saddle.. since I'm going to try to keep it insanely clean at all times! 

A good half hour later, I brought her back out and put some ointment on her cuts (which are healing quite nicely!) before I put her blanket back on. She's turning into a little teddy bear, her winter coat is coming in so she's starting to look fluffy!  

After she was out to pasture, she drank a bit of water from the trough and happily walked off to graze. I'll be heading back tomorrow so hopefully we have another awesome day together!


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## Jore

Video from today!


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## Jore

*October 14, 2012*

I had a limited time frame today, so I called my dad and asked if he could take me down tomorrow so that I'd have an excuse to just pamper Indie today and give her the day off.  He said yes, so I spent a good hour and a half just giving her a spa treatment, so to speak!

Funny story of the day: I was getting Indie out from the pasture and for some reason, I couldn't hook the fence to the metal attachment. I had the lead rope in one hand so I couldn't really use both hands to try and pull it over.. so, I got the bright idea to grab the metal piece and move it so it'd be a bit easier to reach. At first, I was worried that I'd get shocked.. but I didn't, so I grabbed farther down. About three seconds later, a _massive_ shock felt like it went into my feet and up my torso. I screamed, which echoed amongst the trees, and promptly shoved the lead rope under my arm so I could just yank it over. Luckily, Indie remained relaxed throughout the whole ordeal so she didn't mind. Either way, I had a funny feeling in my hand for a good half hour. 

Once we got to the cross-ties, I gave her a nice quality grooming. I decided I'd put her in her stall to eat some hay so that I could give the mud a chance to dry so it'd be easier to get off, so I used the time to roll up the polos. After I had that done, I brought her back out and finished grooming her. I decided to put the CopperSet on her hooves so that they'd have a chance to dry before she went back out. Her frogs are growing back pretty well and they're starting to harden, as up until a couple days ago, there were still some soft parts.

I conditioned and braided her tail and did a little braid at the start of her mane. I think her coat is starting to get pretty shiny and it looks to be getting a more copper-tint whereas it used to be a dull, dark brown.  I wonder though if the farrier will suggest hind shoes when he does her feet next weekend, as the edges are getting a bit chipped.. we'll see though! 

I wiped her down with a baby wipe just to collect the extra dust/hair that didn't get picked up by the brush. She's getting pretty used to being handled, as I usually wipe her face and ears a few times every visit.  

After she was cleaned up, I put her rain sheet on her and brushed off some dirt before feeding her another apple slice and putting her outside. I felt bad at first because Belle wasn't letting her near the hay.. but she slowly was creeping towards it while I pulled out of the driveway.


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## Jore

Doing all my summaries tomorrow night.. so much homework to do. I've done a good twenty hours _at least_ of homework in the past few days. I'll be so happy when the week is done.


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## Jore

*October 15 and 16, 2012*

Both nights of riding went quite well! On the 15th, I only rode for about a half hour just so that I could hopefully just give her a brief refresher before our lesson the following night so that we wouldn't be trotting around like wild men.  Lots of circles, lots of trotting, transitions, etc. No canters because I figured we'd be practicing at my lesson. Overall, it went pretty well!

On the 16th, I got there a bit early because I had a driving lesson... so my driving teacher let me drive through Subway and then let me drive to the barn since she only lives ten minutes away! I got to save Indie from the rain and I took my time grooming her so that was fun. I re-did some braiding and made sure she was shining! Her coat is almost metallic now.  

As for the ride, she was a bit rushy at first, but eventually, she slowed down. It wasn't as great as the night prior, but it was decent. We got one correct lead canter, but the rest was wrong lead. It'll come eventually! 

*October 17, 2012*

Had my private lesson tonight! I got there around 6 so she was already in her stall, as she was fed supper around 5.

I groomed her all up, rubbed down her legs (slight swelling in hind pastern, I'll have to ask Laura.. although it was likely from spending the majority of her day in the stall since she had spent the night before inside due to rain) and tacked her up! I can't wait to order her new saddle pad/half pad, she'll look _so_ spiffy! I'm ordering a black A/P pad with white trimming, then a nice, black sheepskin half pad with black fleece on the withers and at the back! Her turquoise SMBs should be here at one point too.

We spent the ride on trying to keep her rounded up when she transitions from a trot to walk. She was rounding up quite nicely and consistently at the trot, but she likes to short step into her walk transitions. So, we spent the lesson practicing. I just asked more with my body, kept a bit of leg and kept my hands consistent! By the end, we had a couple nice transitions each way so I just walked her out and had a discussion with my instructor about dressage and then some off-topic things. 

Compliments from my instructor this past week: (music to my ears!! )
- (after I made a sarcastic remark about her not so smooth trot) "You're just not used to riding a horse with that much cadence"
- "She went pretty good tonight!"
- "She has moments where she looks lovely, we just need to get it consistent!"

Short summaries for the last three rides, but I'm still loaded up on homework. :-( I'll be dancing for joy once this week is over!


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## Jore

Finally got in the shipment from Chick's! Quality of the grooming kit is less than I expected, so I'll likely pick up a couple nicer brushes and a curry comb. I'm going to the barn tomorrow, finally!


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## Jore

*October 20, 2012*

This last month has gone by so fast.. I've only had Indie for about six weeks. It seems like I've known her forever!  The farrier stopped by to do Manny's feet so he'll be coming down next weekend to do Indie's, although one of his kids might come visit so in that case, it'll be during the week that he does them.

I got down to the barn, and it was raining (still is), plus Indie was in having her breakfast.. so I took off her rain sheet and hung it up in the tack room so it could hopefully dry a bit. I took her leather halter and replaced it with her new turquoise zebra print halter so that I could clean the leather one while she munched on some hay.

Before I cleaned the halter, I cleaned/conditioned my new saddle as well! I'll be glad when my stirrup leathers finally come in, because borrowing stirrup leathers from my coach is tedious! I'll have a nice set of arm muscles by the time my own get here. 

Once I had everything cleaned off, I got Indie all ready to ride! I gave her a nice brushing off, picked out her feet and then rubbed down her legs. Erica was down to ride Manny as well, so she was getting him ready near the back of the barn. (away from the alpacas.. because they scare the crap right out of him.. which is amusing because Manny is probably the most well-trained horse at the barn)

I put the polos on, and saddled her up. I put the saddle cover over the saddle, because it was _still_ raining, and then I bridled her. I'll have to clean her bit and bridle tomorrow because her bit gets all foamy and gross pretty quickly. 

I walked her large for a couple laps before adding in circles, back ups, sidepasses, etc. Then, we did lots of trot transitions and tried staying round and keeping forward through the downward transition. She got a couple really nice ones!

After she was warmed up, we worked on getting round and engaged at the trot. Erica and Manny had one half of the arena and we had the other.. so we mostly did circles although sometimes I went large and we did leg yields. Whenever she was doing good, I'd give her a break and we'd do lateral flexions and smaller circles.

My goal for today was getting in a correct lead at the canter, both ways. It takes longer going right rein so we did that first. She got a nice walk break after a few laps of cantering on the correct lead. Her lips were a bit foamy during our work out today, so she must've been thinking and playing with the bit.. resulting in a soft mouth. 

We worked on more trotting before we walked out. I admit that I didn't do as much bending that I usually do, but we had a more limited space so I decided we'd do a more trot-focused workout. She didn't work up a sweat but since it was raining anyways, I decided I'd just hose her all off! Surprisingly, she stood completely still and let me spray every inch of her. I was able to simply hold onto the lead and go all the way to her butt without her budging.  My strict "hosing guidelines" must've paid off and taught her that standing still is a must unless I hint otherwise. (ie: walk her over to the grass and give her excess lead rope)

I threw her cooler on her and let her munch some hay in her stall while I gave her a chance to dry and tidy up everything.

After a bit, I brought her back out and brushed her off, did her feet and then put some cream on her bite mark that she got a couple weeks ago. It's healing pretty well and the fur seems to be growing back in chestnut (fingers crossed it continues) but I'm going to keep applying it until it's completely healed up. 

Since I had a good hour and a half left until my mom got back from shopping, I decided I'd braid Indie's mane! So for a good hour and fifteen minutes, Indie dozed off on the cross ties while I braided her mane. I'm horribly slow, because I only got about halfway done. I had braided her tail beforehand (three braids braided together) so she was pretty snazzied up. I'm going back to the barn tomorrow so I figured I'd just finish her mane then when I had time.

I finally got her rain sheet on and gave her an apple slice before she went back out into the pasture. At first, she just stood in the mud waiting around.. so I went in there and she got the hint to go eat grass. Although when I drove out, she was by the empty hay feeder (there's a round bale out to the side though... it got super muddy around the feeder so they put it out on the grass instead). Silly horse. 

All in all, a lovely ride and a lovely little visit!


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## Jore

*October 21, 2012*

Ordered Indie a bunch of stuff last night. We got her stirrup leathers and a girth that will match the saddle perfectly! Also ordered a black saddle pad and a black fleece-lined half pad to match. She's going to look so spiffy once all her new tack gets here! Hopefully the SMBs are coming soon as well. We ordered her a stable blanket, a tail bag and a pair of ice boots as well.

I got to the barn around 10, so low and behold, Indie was way out on the other side of the pasture. I can't whistle too well, so I just ran over. Luckily, she let me put the lead rope on and she followed me out with no issues.

We got to the barn, and I did a quick grooming. Her legs were pretty swollen, as she had been in all night since 4:30 the previous day.. so I hosed them down. I rode without polo wraps since I planned on only doing minimal work. After about fifteen minutes of suppling, walking around, bending.. we did a few laps of trot transitions so that she could practice staying round and not short-striding after the down transition. After a few successful attempts each way, I got off and we did some groundwork.

I decided to practice getting her to stay still while I walked around her and went to put my helmet on the bleachers. She actually stayed there until something caught her eye so I had to walk back over and get her. I also tried getting her to just follow me without a lead rope.. which worked until she looked out the window again.  Oh well, we'll just keep practicing!

I got her up to the barn and hosed her completely off. Surprisingly, it was really warm with no wind.. it almost felt like summer. I took the opportunity to give Indie her first bath since she's gotten here. She was getting a bit impatient so I decided not to push my luck and just did her neck and torso on each side.

After I gave her fifteen minutes to dry off a little bit in her stall, I snuck some anti-histamine in a small portion of feed since she seems to have a bit of hives. :-| At first, she didn't want to eat it, but eventually she did. So yay!

Once she was done, I brought her back out and brushed her off and picked out her feet before putting the CopperSet on them. They're looking so much better! The farrier is going to show me how to put DMSO on her splints next week as well, so he told me to pick up some gloves, toothbrushes and a mug.

I decided to finally finish up her mane so I braided it all up before I went to see if her rain sheet was dry. It was pretty muddy so I had hosed it off some. Luckily, it was dry and quite warm so I put it on her. I'd have left it off, but she was a bit wet and the wind was starting to pick up.

I might go back down tomorrow but I'm not sure. We'll see! 

Also, a woman down at the barn was telling me how nice she is and how easy she is to work with. So I must be doing something right! But then again, Indie is just sweet by nature.


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## Jore

Here is a picture of Indie before I took her back out to the pasture!


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## Jore

*October 22, 2012*

A quick visit tonight, although I got a nice half hour ride in!  I whistled to Indie out in the pasture, and she started to walk over.. until Mirabelle decided to be a turd and herd her in the other direction. Once I shoo'd Mirabelle away, I walked over to Indie and she happily walked out with me.

I grabbed some brushes and the liniment and gave Indie a good brushing. I have no clue how she manages to get dirty underneath her blanket, but horses will be horses, I suppose! She must've gotten nipped or something on her butt.. again.. because there was a little piece of skin hanging, so I put some Fiske's on that after I brushed her off. I rubbed her legs down and put her in her stall with some hay so that I could roll her polo wraps. On another note, my dad finally found somebody to make my stall sign so it should be done by the end of this week! 









_The design that I came up with about a month or so ago. The background is navy with turquoise lettering. I chose a dreamcatcher for the side because a) I had chosen the name Indie because it's boho (seeing as how chill she is, and how I really love that style) b) my dream of owning a horse finally came true!_

Once I had the polos all rolled up (in record time!), I got Indie out of her stall and tacked her up. I brought her down to the arena just as my instructor finished a lesson so we had good timing. I led her around large for a lap before getting on. She actually stood still while I tightened the girth and put down my stirrups, usually she gets distracted or wants to know what I'm doing so she walks over beside me. 

I hopped on and we started with lots of bending, backing up and sidepasses. I tried working all her muscle groups before we got into trot transitions. After a few lateral flexions and some nice, round back ups, we did about ten minutes of walk-trot, trot-walk transitions! They went super well! For the majority of the time, she stayed round and actually walked forward into the transition. Back on Wednesday, she liked to short stride into the walk so my instructor had us working on staying round and forward throughout the transition. Lots of improvement since then! 

After she was well warmed up, I figured that we might as well try some canters. I was _so_ thrilled when she picked up the correct lead while going left rein.. the first try! I let her canter a few circles (just so that she realizes that what she did was right) before giving her a neck rub and letting her take a brief walk break so that she could process what she just did.

Then, we changed directions. It took three tries.. but considering that she normally takes much longer going right rein to get the lead, I was quite content with that. After I got two correct lead canters, I gave her a neck rub. However, after the second one, she was pretty worked up and she wanted to canter more. So, I spent the next five minutes just trotting. I waited until she had calmed down and was light on my hands and round before I let her walk. She hasn't done that much in awhile! Although, cantering has been put on the back burner most days since we're working on her walk and trot. My instructor said to just try a few transitions at least every other ride but to focus on walk/trot for now.

I cooled her down with walking a bunch of circles and some more backing up.. then I just hopped down and I walked her by-hand for a few minutes before I brought her up. I was in a rush to leave as my dad wanted to get home before it was too late, plus I needed to do some last minute touches on my media studies presentation, so I stuck to the necessities before putting her blanket on and returning her to the pasture. 

Tomorrow is our group lesson day so fingers crossed that it goes well!


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## Jore

*October 23, 2012*

I had this all typed out but then it froze.. so I'm going to just highlight the main details this time around since I have less time. 

What we focused on this lesson, and results:

_Backing up:_ More round, head down (ie: no resistance), more fluent steps
_Side passes:_ Less resistant, felt more round and fluent.. although a bit more hesitant. I need to get her more consistent.
_Canter transitions:_ Left lead is good and quick, needs rounding and more bending. Right lead.. needs much more work so that will be our main focus point. She likes to dive to the inside as well, even with leg and an open outside rein. So we'll be adding that to our work list.
_Suppling:_ She was much more supple and soft in the hand by the end of the lesson.
_Overtracking:_ Her natural walk overtracks by two inches so we got it up to four but I'm going to keep trying to extend that as time goes on and she develops more muscles and overall fitness/ability. 
_Overall:_ Quite good, and I'm really happy with her walk-trot transitions and her back ups.

I can't wait until tomorrow! She must be getting sick of seeing me.


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## Jore

Entry for tonight will be coming tomorrow! Should have lots of time. 

A brief note though, I love this horse! I feel like our training has hit a plateau of some sort but we'll work through it and improve!  We did turns on the forehand/haunches tonight and it was clear that she has done very little of that, if any.. her lips were flapping up a storm = stressing right out, so we walked a few circles until it ceased. We had a few good tries though! 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

*October 25, 2012*

No barn visit today, but I think I tracked down Indie's breeder! I sent an e-mail through their website with her tattoo number, sire/dam names and registered names.. so hopefully it's the right James Cassidy. Cross your fingers that he has pictures or even just information!


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## Jore

*October 26, 2012*

No barn tonight, I think this is the longest I've gone.. yes, two days. I might have separation anxiety, haha. :-( Not really, but I miss her!

I e-mailed Pleasant Ridge and asked if the SMBs had arrived yet, and apparently they came in this week except they're behind on shipping.. so they'll be shipping on Monday! Yay!


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## Jore

*October 27, 2012*

It is so nice out today! I spent it at the barn which made it even better.  I got there around noon so I grabbed Indie out from the pasture and we headed up to get ready.

I took about an hour or so because I also had to take out all her little mane braids and I wanted to take a picture or two.










The arena was pretty warm, so Indie was sweating about halfway through our ride.

I warmed her up with a few laps of forward walking, then lots and lots of backing up to get her back stretched and rounded. We then did about twenty minutes of walk/trot transitions until they were consistent. There were times when it felt as though she was going great!

Because of how warm it was, and how dusty in the arena, we ended it there and I walked her out by-hand. All in all, she was going pretty well by then end of it. 

After she was untacked, I hosed her off completely because she was a bit sweaty. Seeing as how it was so nice out (no wind either!), I put her outside and cleaned tack.

I managed to clean her saddle, bridle and even her leather halter! Once I had finished cleaning up, I brought Indie back in for a good half hour and groomed her before treating her feet. It was a tad buggy out, so I put her fly mask on and wrote a note for my instructor when she came to do supper chores: "Please take off Indie's fly mask and put her rain sheet on pending the weather!". 

I put her outside and then headed home! I'm sure she's out enjoying the sun now!


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## Jore

*October 28, 2012*

My dad is supposed to be dropping me off at the barn later, and this is what Indie and I are going to work on today:

_Warm Up_
- A couple laps each way, going large.. moving forward and trying to reach for contact and round up.. during this time, I'll stretch my ankles and shoulders so that I can ride more freely
- One lap each way of backing up at each letter
- At least one sidepass each way, pending on how she's feeling (don't want to push my luck as she seems more unwilling as of lately.. but we'll try)
- Three laps each way of walk/trot transitions
- A few three loop serpentines, with a walk transition at center line
- Quarter line serpentines at a trot until she's more loosened up

_Mid-Ride_
- Leg yields at trot
- Getting her to stretch out at trot and round up
- a walk break
- Try some turns on the forehand and haunches
- A walk break (she tends to get stressed when we work on something new)
- One canter left lead and three right lead (on a circle, just to make it easier for her)
- Do some more quarterline serpentines at a trot for a lap or two

_Cool down_
- Forward walk for a couple laps
- Hop off and walk out by-hand

Let's keep our fingers crossed for a successful ride! I think I'm going to figure out our rides beforehand so that we get more variety and so that we get lots done!


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## Jore

*October 28, 2012: Entry 2*

Indie is a foamy beast, that is all. :lol: During our ride today, she was flinging globs of it around.

I got to the barn around 1:30 today and I ran my butt down to the pasture to grab Indie! She seemed pretty content to see me.

Once she was on the cross ties, I got her all groomed up. Her winter coat must be coming in.. it's wavy, poofy and just not flattering.  Oh well, I'm sure her coat in the spring will be lovely! Much to my _not_ surprise, she had a nip mark on her butt.. still no friends. She should just pair up with the other loner mare, who happens to be her reincarnatee, Annie. (ten years age difference, but they have a bit of resemblance! Indie is much prettier though! )

I was reading the bottle on the leg rub and it said to use after the ride.. so we're switching that part of our routine since I always did it before. 

I put the stirrups back on my saddle and wrapped her legs. I'm so glad that our new SMBs are finally coming in this week, so much more convenient and quick! Plus they'll be more consistent in support/pressure/tension/etc. 

I finished tacking up and we headed down to the arena. Thor was down there barking at the pigeons so I told him to get out, and luckily, he did.. and didn't return.

For our warm up, we did about fifteen lateral flexions.. a few laps each way at a forward walk, three laps on backing up at each letter.. and then did a few sidepasses each direction.

Then, we did a three loop serpentine with walk transitions at center line. It frustrates me, but nowadays, Indie's first trot transition after a walk break/warm up/etc is very slow and I have to use quite a bit of leg pressure to get her going. So a lot of our ride is just trot transitions, I definitely don't want her to turn into a lazy bum. :?

Once she was all warmed up, I started out with a left lead canter (the one that she usually picks up easiest). She got it the first try, so I let her canter a couple circles and rewarded her.

After I trotted a circle, we changed directions. Up until today, she would usually fall in and not get it.

Our first attempt was a failure, she fell in and was doing a really fast trot that made the canter impossible to pick up. Tried again, same thing. So next time, I used only a turned in inside thumb, inside leg and a bit of outside leg. Wrong leg. Tried it again, correct lead! Bingo! Let her go about three circles, brought her back to a trot, gave her a nice neck rub. I got it twice more, both within the first try! After that, her mouth was getting insanely foamy.. excessively. I gave her a walk break so that she could think about what she just did and so that she could catch her breath.

We did a couple laps each way at the trot doing leg yields and since she was going satisfactory, we left it at that. We walked to the benches to grab my saddle cover and we walked out by-hand. I think she really had a nice work out because she was over tracking more than usually without me encouraging her any. 

Once she was untacked, I took her out and hosed her off. I brought a cloth out with me as well so I washed off her face as well.

Following a nice groom session, I put her in her stall for her supper. Of course, the pig "snuck" into her stall over ten times, despite me chasing him off with a broom repeatedly. I ended up barricading him in a stall. :lol:

After Indie was out to pasture, chowing on grass, I waited for my mom to arrive so that we could drive to the Esso and get some slushies!


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## Jore

*October 29, 2012*

No barn today, but order from Greenhawk came in! Got a nice, super soft goat hair brush.. a nice quality curry.. stirrups.. and a saddle pad! Hopefully the Pleasant Ridge order will come in but I'm not sure about the horse.com one, although it has been shipped.


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## Jore

*October 30, 2012*

Ugh, Indie had been inside since last night.. so her legs were stocked up. :? They were fine after I rode though.

Quick summary of tonight:

Lots and lots of work, Indie sweated up a storm by the end of it. I was actually hosing her off and getting the heat out of her legs when lightening started flashing.. it still is, and while in the shower after I got home, it rumbled so I had to hop out. 

We did lots of trot and canter work. Indie was actually rounding up and stretching out today! Although lately, she seems to be less sensitive to leg. :? We also worked on yielding the haunches and she kept getting it confused with a sidepass so she'd try stepping sideways. I'm going to try to be much more clear from now on with my signals.

I go back tomorrow night so hopefully we'll have improvement! And _hopefully_ the farrier comes and does her feet soon... he was supposed to on the weekend but something came up.

So, even though Indie's legs sometimes stress me out.. I love her dearly and hope we have many years of good riding left!


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## Jore

*October 31, 2012*

Indie had only a teensy clue about what lungeing was until today.

Bright side: she doesn't pull.. at all.. she keeps the slack and goes in a nice circle, w/t/c.

She had no whoa and didn't understand voice commands, but my instructor said she's a very quick learner.. which held true as within fifteen/twenty minutes, I had her stopping when I said whoa and backed up to her head and she'd walk on command and would trot when I clucked. She also would canter, but we are still working on the right lead.

All in all, pretty happy with my girl.  The farrier is coming down to do her feet tomorrow as well, hallelujah! And the SMBs came today and fit her perfectly!


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## Klassic Superstar

Love fallowing your jurney with her!
I started my own thread after being motivated by yours! Indie is just beyond beautiful!
I wasn't able to ride the last two days from the rain! 
So I'm living through your rides! LOL
You should get a fun picture of her sporting off her new booties!


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## Jore

Thank you! I seem to have inspired a few people too, it's definitely worth it though.. I've loved looking back through.  She's improved so much in just the last two months, it's insane!

And yes, all the horses at my barn have been stuck in for the last few days.. so Indie's legs have been not in the best condition, which is why I'm glad to have gotten down to ride so that she'd get some time to get the blood flowing. We have an indoor arena though so we lucked out.  I should've gotten one tonight, they're already filthy as I knew they would be, haha. I'll get my mom to take some pictures and a video this weekend.


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## Klassic Superstar

my boy can't be in a big barn, gets wacky and strssed out 
So he's Ina huge pasture soaking wet and muddy! Lol I wish I have a indoor so bad right now!


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## Jore

Indoors are definitely nice! I was relieved to see Indie outside tonight though.

*November 1, 2012*

Didn't get to ride or do anything really tonight.. we had gone down to the doctor's and I got mom to drive by the barn and Indie had no blanket on, so I convinced her to pull in and let me put it on her. I just adjusted her cribbing collar (which btw rubbed off a bunch of fur which I'm not happy about.. but oh well.)

I don't know if I can get down tomorrow.. my dad is away. Oh well, I can hope!


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## Jore

*November 2, 2012*

I got home today and the box from horse.com was in the garage! I was so excited! 

I had ordered a pair of ice boots, a black tail bag (waterproof even!), a better quality brush (this one is horse hair mixed with bristles).. a good quality stable blanket (has a belly band instead of surcingles) and a matching girth with some matching stirrup leathers for my saddle. They're all HDR Oakbark so it should be a perfect match, and I'm _very_ pleased with the girth.. very soft and supple. 

It's like Christmas! Although, technically it is since my mom said I get less gifts this year.. which is fine by me, although I know she'll end up buying me some stuff anyways.


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## Jore

*November 3, 2012*

Finally got down this afternoon!

Our ride was pretty brief and I cleaned/conditioned the saddle, and new girth and stirrup leathers.  I also gave her halter a good cleaning as well.

Our ride went pretty decent, her trot transitions were quicker. It took about twenty.. or more.. tries to get a right lead canter but eventually she got it so we did a few celebratory circles and she got a walk break so that she could process what she just did. 

Besides that, our ride was more focused on leg yielding and side passes. I only rode for about half an hour since I ended our ride after the canter.. so that it'd end on a good note.

Oh yeah, and a pigeon somehow managed to poop on the saddle pad.. thank goodness that it missed me by five inches. :-| I'd have not been happy! I ended up spraying my saddle pad down later. 

I also tried on her new stable blanket, since it has to go over her head (closed front).. I wanted her to get used to it before my instructor had to throw it on when she brings the horses inside during the harsher winter nights.

I missed Indie the last couple days so I was glad to finally see her!


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## Jore

I had a picture of Indie in her stable blanket.. but it uploaded on my flickr looking like this..










I tried uploading it twice and this was the better attempt.


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## Jore

*November 4, 2012*

Going to the barn today! Mom said it'll only be for a ride, so no extra time so to speak.. although at least Indie will get some extra attention and work for the weekend.  I'm thinking of starting out with lungeing, just to get her responding to me well. It helps when she's under saddle as well, yesterday once I had cooled her down, I just said "whoa" and she stopped with just my seat and voice. Imagine that! 

I'm also going to try and get my mom to take some pictures.


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## Jore

*November 4, 2012*

Indie had a bit more go in her today! Much to my excitement.. maybe I've just had my saddle a tad far forward the last few rides.

I got a couple videos..











Definitely going to be working on getting her hind legs up under her after watching these videos.


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## Jore

*November 6, 2012*

We had a group lesson tonight.. and oh my gosh, it was freezing! My toes/fingers and even face was going numb. Time to break out the winter riding gear!

Emma and I have also come to the conclusion that Romeo and Indie are in love. It was _so_ funny, I had her in her cooler while we were walking around the ring to start.. and we stopped in the center while Emma had Romeo off to the side.. and he stared right at her for a good few minutes. He'd shuffle around but he always kept his eyes on her. He went to sniff the ground and still kept staring! Of course, she faced the other way and still pins her ears at him. Rejection! :lol: Not a realistic theory, but it sure seemed the case! 

Tonight we worked on collection and extension, mainly at the trot. It was Indie's first real transition within the gait work, and it went pretty well! Her extended trot was a bit slow at first until Laura yelled out, "Hayley! That horse's legs are a mile long, you should be lapping everyone!" So, off we went.. Indie stretched right out and we were on a roll around the ring!

Collection.. not her strong point but that will come with time, I think.  Our goals at the canter was just get the correct lead, and on her right lead, get a good bend. We also tried the collection and extension, now of course, extension came naturally although we still need her bending at the canter. Collection.. I knew that'd be our harder goal, but she actually didn't do half bad. I think I'll keep a little more leg on next time, just to keep the momentum and keep her at the canter.

After a nice ride, we headed back up to the barn and I got her all groomed up, and rubbed down her legs. I didn't hose them down because it was _freezing_. I also left her inside because she was a little sweaty and yes, I know it's not a valid excuse, but I didn't want her to be cold. 

We're also adding beet pulp to get more weight on her, simply because my instructor doesn't just want to overload her with grain for multiple reasons. coughinsaneamountsofenergycough

Anyways, I have a lesson again tomorrow, yay!


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## DixieKate

I'm loving this thread. I'm just now working with buying my first horse. I've been leasing for 3 years and am working towards buying a horse from the daughter of the woman I took lessons from and leased from. We've already had some setbacks, but I'm hopeful that things will work out. I think I might start a thread about my journey too because this is my first horse, and she's definitely a project. I've never ridden a horse that wasn't a lesson horse, and with some help from the woman who birthed her, youtube, this website, and some books, we've already made huge improvement. I'm glad you've kept up with this so far, because I'm loving it!


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## Jore

I really recommend starting a little journal to everyone, I've loved looking back.  Every time we have a slightly difficult/frustrating moment (which are actually quite rare at the moment), I just remember our first couple rides.

I was also pretty used to the lesson horses for a good number of years, up until my instructor wanted me to start leasing her four year so that we could do jumping.. as the mare I was leasing was in her twenties and wasn't really in her prime anymore. I ended up doing a lot of training with him, and in his first show season, he managed to place top three in classes of fifteen horses. Although, he and Indie are complete opposites in terms of movement, build, personality. They were both affectionate, but Major loved everyone whereas Indie is just bonded to me since I'm the only person who ever really does anything with her.


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## deserthorsewoman

You have an exceptional horse, you know that? Why am I saying this?
Well, I just watched both videos and the one from the first test ride. 
Any horse e
I've ever known would have thrown me with a quickness if I would have been constantly in her flanks with my legs. Your lower leg is constantly two handwidths behind the girth. You clamp with your knees and are therefore unstable in your seat. 
The canter video....the inside leg needs to be AT the girth, engaging the forward. , the outside leg one handwidth BEHIND the girth keeping the bend. 
I don't understand why nobody is correcting this, seriously.
Without a correct seat you cannot ride correctly. Period.
*end rant*
I seriously hope you will try what I suggested in the other thread. 

Oh, you did MUCH MUCH MUCH better in the test ride video. Go watch and compare. Don't watch the horse, watch yourself!!!

No offense meant, but you know that;-)


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## Jore

Okay, I'll try and remember that.. and I think the saddle might've helped too, as I believe it was a dressage saddle. (I rode her in two different saddles both times, one was a dressage saddle) Maybe once I have the stirrups lowered, it'll help. Hopefully. :-( I'll try some no stirrup work too.


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## deserthorsewoman

Don't be sad........it'll get better
Doesn't your instructor say anything about that? Or are you paying more attention to your seat in lesson? I know, I did, but my instructor was of the old kind...we were all scared to death of him
And I promise you, if you trot and canter for half an hour, you WILL find the right spot and lengthen and straighten your legs .........I know, I'm mean;-)


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## Jore

Yes, she sometimes does.. although for the last bit, we've focused more on Indie. She said that we're going to work more on my equitation now though.

She definitely has quite a lot of methods though, although she hasn't used too many on me yet. I used to spend lessons keeping my thumbs together back when I used to be really bad about opening them apart all the time. I also have a shoulders back thing that I sometimes wear just to force them back.. although I haven't worn it in awhile. 

I'll try dropping my stirrups two holes and seeing if that helps me grip less with my knee.


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## deserthorsewoman

I just saw I left out the most important part on half an hour trot and canter.......without stirrups
You know, the thing with working with the horse and working on Equitation....it goes hand in hand. You have a correct seat, you can give the correct aids without disturbing her and Voila, all works out all of the sudden. And it will look really pretty, too.


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## Jore

I lowered my stirrups two holes, and it helped.. _a lot_. My inside leg stayed at the girth (aside from when I moved it for doing turns on the haunches/forehands.. etc) and my knee didn't seem to grip! My instructor even said that she had moments of cadence, where she looked more like she was skipping and her neck was straight and not curled.  I told my mom later that I credited you for the advice, haha.

*November 7, 2012*

As you can probably tell from that snippet up there, our ride went super well!  It's supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow so the horses are inside tonight.. hopefully I can get down tomorrow to give her some exercise and work.

I'm not doing a huge summary of tonight, simply because I have a chemistry test to study for. It was a good ride though, a very good ride!

OH YES! And she picked up the right lead canter the _first_ try!! My instructor and I were so thrilled. Quiet = results. I hardly bent her and she got right to it. So happy with her! We got two more correct leads and walked a few circles so she could process it.


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## deserthorsewoman

See what difference that makes? A lot of people don't believe it until it happens. The famous aha moment

Way to go, girls


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## deserthorsewoman

Forgot, the right lead.....if you have both legs back, she gets a confusing signal. And of course she picks the lead that's easier for her, the left one.


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## Jore

It really did make a huge difference, almost like the miracle fix you see in commercials. 

And yeah, she definitely has that preference. I also overthink the transition a lot, but now, I just keep my inside leg up by my girth, pull the inside rein slightly back towards her wither, and put on my outside leg. Her transition still isn't smooth but the fact that she gets the correct lead is a step in the right direction.


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## deserthorsewoman

And if you give with the inside hand to let that first "jump" out she will be even happier


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## Jore

I usually just "throw away" the reins after she tries the transition, if she gets the correct lead.. I try to work her into a bend and into a little bit of contact and if not, we go back to a trot and try again when she's back to a steady pace. Her reward for the correct lead is usually a couple circles and after three, she gets a nice walk break to think about it and relax again.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

Yup, and start towards the closed end of a circle or coming out of the second corner of the short side....you have the bend automatically. Later you can work on the straight line. Right now she needs all the help she can get.


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## OnTarget324

She's gorgeous  Im sorry this is completely irrelevant, but I just got this account today and I dont know how to start my own thread? ): Im sorry.. Someone please help!


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## deserthorsewoman

Since I'm operating from a cell, I'd rather let Jore explain
Welcome to the forum


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## Jore

deserthorsewoman said:


> Yup, and start towards the closed end of a circle or coming out of the second corner of the short side....you have the bend automatically. Later you can work on the straight line. Right now she needs all the help she can get.


Yep! I always do the canter transitions on a circle, although sometimes I'll practice her left lead on the long side when I'm in a group lesson since we usually go large.. although we all practiced transitions within a gait on a big circle back on Tuesday. Her extended canter was pretty good (as one could assume haha) so we ended up going almost large just because we didn't want to run over anyone. 

And OnTarget, if you look to the top left of the forum threads. (if there's subforums, it's under that) There's just a little rectangular button called "New Thread".. just click that and you're good to go.  And thank you!


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## Jore

I never made my journal entry for the ninth, so here it goes:

*November 9, 2012*

I honestly think that was our best ride yet, or awfully close to it. She got her canter lead both ways, without too much hassle! We also worked on extending/collecting at the trot, and her extensions were really nice. Although, she wanted to canter off when I started sitting, but she figured it out after a lap.

I'm going to see about maybe getting a video today, but I'm not sure. It'll be my first time heading down this weekend because we went to the Justin Bieber concert up in Boston!


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## Jore

So excited to see Indie today! I'm trying to finish up my two questions for English class so that I'm ready to go when we drop my sister off at a friend's.


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## Jore

*November 12, 2012*

http://www.horseforum.com/horse-health/vibes-indie-143323/#post1754837

Hoping that my girl will be okay.


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## Jore

I'll definitely be saying a prayer tonight.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DixieKate

I hope everything goes well tomorrow with the vet. Keep your chin up!


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## Jore

*November 15, 2012*

No limping today and her leg seems to be doing better. I put some liniment on her three good legs and wrapped up the two hind legs before walking her around the dooryard for a few minutes.

I have a couple pictures but I will put those on tomorrow. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

*November 19, 2012 *

Indie must be feeling great because I got to the barn and she was filthy. She's usually a pretty clean horse (excluding bathroom habits) so it was the first time I've seen her caked in mud. Must've had a nice roll. 

Her leg is looking much better and her other three legs are looking fabulous. Here's hoping her first ride goes well tomorrow night!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

*November 20, 2012*

Our ride tonight went very well!

Indie started out quite grumpy, ie: pinning her ears as I tightened the girth and when Romeo passed by her. She also forgot how to stand still.  Must've thought she was on vacation!

She was a little stiff at first but showed no issues at the walk, backing up or trot. We just walked at first for a good twenty five minutes and did some backing up. Once she was going well, we tried trotting her. It was really smooth and she showed no signs of being uncomfortable, she seemed really happy to be back at it.  

No canters, but perhaps next week if all goes well. The ride tonight brought down the swelling quite a bit so I think it benefitted her in the long run.

As a sidenote, I think we are building a nice bond.  She always peeks out her stall at me and she always tries looking back at me on the cross ties.. and she likes trying to poke me with her nose. She'll stretch right out and try to reach me.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

*November 21, 2012*

I have such bad luck lately. :'(
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

*November 21, 2012*

Indie is now galloping across green meadows. I never thought that this would be my last entry, although I will probably continue to post in here as I try to heal. I will miss her, more than words can describe. 

She was my first horse, and my first heart horse. I am in such disbelief, I cannot believe you.


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## Jore

*November 22: 2012*

I'm trying my hardest not to cry. I wamt to try going to school, mainly since I need to go to math class. I don't think Indie would've wanted me to just stay home.

It still hasn't settled in yet.. I don't want to believe it and I can'r. I'm trying to remember our many good memories but I can't shake those last few momemts from my head. It was the scariest, most horrible night of my life.

I pray quite often to God and ask him to take care of her until I eventually come back for her.

I don"r know how long it'll be until I ride in another lesson. I know I shouldn't quit, and I won't but it will be really hard to ride a horse other than Indie. I know Indie wouldn't be mad but I feel like it'd be betraying her 

I juat want her back. :'(
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

I never even had a chance to take her on a trail ride. :'(
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

This is the drawing I am working on of her. I hope it can somewhat do her justice when I'm done. I've been out of practice so it's probably the first horse I've drawn since I was young.


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## Jore




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## Jore

I still cannot believe this happened to Indie. I just want her back... so, so, so much. :'(


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## Jore

Mom said we might pick up some flowers for Indie's grave.

I don't know how many times I've said it, but everything still seems so surreal. I break down crying whenever I talk about it or it's mentioned to me, but I seem to forget what has happened when I'm doing something else. I don't think my mind wants to let me believe it yet.


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## Jore

Thinking about Christmas breaks my heart too... I was so excited to make her a special treat and buy her some stuff. I was hoping to buy her a likkit for when she was stuck in her stall at night. I never got to. :-( It'll be one sad Christmas break for me. No barn trips, no Indie, no buying things for Indie... all things that I was excited for.

This just isn't fair.


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## Jore

My mom went to go pick up the flowers and something else and then we're going to go up to the barn and check out Indie's grave. I'll take a picture of it once I put the flowers on it. My mom asked them for three flowers that are close to the colour turquoise.. since that was the colour I always bought for Indie.

We're also getting chinese food tonight.. even if I had it yesterday at the mall before I found out about what was going on yesterday with Indie.


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## gunslinger

Jore, Honey, some of life is magic......and just reading from your first post on this blog.....well, it was magic.......some of life is tragic as you just found out.

If I go early, before my wife, I hope she finds someone better than me that will partner with her and that he's so good to her that she soon forgets about me.

Indie went on to a better place and now you're without a heart horse. There will never be another Indie, but I hope, you find a horse that makes you so happy that Indie settles deep in your heart and your new love takes the biggest piece.

As I've said before, I've followed this blog for the last few months. The excitement and enthusiasm of the first day....and even before....and how quickly he was taken from you is tragic.

So I hope you struggle though it and continue taking your riding lessons.....I hope that soon another horse that needs someone like you finds his way into your heart. Maybe that's what Indie would want? 

I've also thought about how hard it is for your dad to see his daughter so sad.

Yes, life can turn on a dime and some of the time it turns the wrong way.

Lots of us are thinking about you and believe it or not our heart hurts too. This blog doesn't have to end this way and I'm looking for a long happy story well before the end.


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## Jore

Thank you, gunslinger.. that means a lot.

I know Indie would want me to find another horse eventually, and I know I will. I also know that they'll have huge shoes to fill. I was reading back on my entry from the twentieth and started crying all over again. I had no idea what was coming and the whole post just radiated happiness. 

We visited her grave site tonight. My instructor and her dad wrapped Indie up in a blanket when they buried her and they put her on the edge of the woods. She'll have a perfect view.

I spent a good fifteen minutes in her stall, sorting out the straw and tidying up her blankets. I brought her cooler up with me to the burial site so I could sit on it. I have it wrapped around me right as I type this. I talked to her for a good twenty five minutes. At one point, birds started chirping but when I asked if Indie was listening... they stopped.

My mom said that in the spring, we'll plant flowers for her and get a head stone.

I think the fact that I'm still in denial is helping with thinking of the good memories. Every time I start to cry, my mind just tries to stop it. I often forget that she's gone. 

I told Indie to come visit me in my dreams every so often and that I'd visit her as often as I can. I love her more than words can describe.










It's not very pretty.. but you can see where I placed the lillies. It'll be prettied up in the spring, I hope.. for Indie was gorgeous and she needs a gorgeous resting place.


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## Jore

*November 22, 2012*

Oh, Indie. I'll be cherishing this journal for a very long time, I'm so thankful that I recorded 99% of our rides together. I kept telling myself on the way home that you were worth every penny spent, but really, you were priceless. I hope you can hear me when I talk to you because I've been doing it all day. 

This'll be my last entry for today but I'm sure I'll have more tomorrow. Words cannot describe my pain and how much I miss you. I wish we'd have had more time and I wish that you'd have passed in a more natural matter.


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## gunslinger

_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

Just throwing my favourite picture of her in... it never fails to make me smile.










I have more pictures on my phone that I need to upload of her just a few nights ago after her first sugar cube.


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## gunslinger

It's great you have such a wonderful mom. I think indie's grave looks fine. Flowers in the spring is a good idea too. 

Your heart hurts so bad because you loved so much. That's the price we pay for loving so much. 

Try to keep busy and don't think to much. If you read the book of Job, god will restore more than what's lost to those who are faithful. Your young and have a lot of living ahead of you. Be grateful for what you have 

I know things are difficult right now but the son will rise in the east tomorrow and with the dawn you'll have another chance to find that which makes you happy. 

One day at a time. This will get easier with time.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

Thank you, I appreciate the time I had with Indie even more now.. it makes the memories much more precious. I just can't stop myself from wishing that she had pulled through.

I promised her that I'd be good so that we could reunite some day though, I told her that we'd have to wait a good seventy, eighty years though. Until then, I have her in spirit and she'll always be there for me.


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## Jore

*November 23, 2012*

http://www.horseforum.com/horse-pictures/indie-pictures-144418/#post1769053

Did some reminiscing this morning. I still can't believe this happened to her.


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## Jore

Last week at this time, I'd be getting excited to come down and see you. I think I'm still coming to see you today, but it won't be anything like it once was.


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## Jore

There's a thread about what people want for Christmas.

Had I replied a few days ago, it'd have been:

- A new black half pad
- A halter tag
- Some new breeches
- A new helmet
- An aztec print halter
- A stall toy (one of those boredom buster ones)
- A fancy browband for your bridle
- Some money for new clothes

Now, it's...

- You


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## Jore

We're going to go pick up a temporary grave marker for you, Indie. Maybe in the spring, we can get a little bench for in there too so I can sit on something other than a blanket. We're picking up nice water colours too, so I can paint a picture. I don't know how I will get the colour of your coat right, maybe I will paint something else. Maybe a dream catcher. Talk to you soon, Indie.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

This was from yesterday.. I had shoo'd my mom away and she took this picture at one point during the twenty or so minutes I sat there.










We went and prettied up her grave today for a couple hours. As we were driving up to her grave, I just had a wave of sadness come upon me. On our way home, my mom said "it's the perfect place for her" but all I could think of was "her perfect place was here with me". :-(


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## Jore

Some pictures of her grave.


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## Jore

PS, feel free to come back. I miss you more than words can describe and it hasn't quite been 48 hours yet. 

PPS, Laura said I can come exercise her horses whenever I want.. just gotta call and ask. I don't know if and when I'll ever take her up on her offer, but I promise to continue with my weekly lesson although I probably won't go this Tuesday. It won't be the same without you.


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## Cacowgirl

The gravesite looks very nice & it will give you a place to go while you regroup.I know your heart is sad,but you have lots of support here & at your home & barn-I hope you feel better soon & continue riding & keep your heart open for another horse someday that you can forge a new bond with.


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## Jore

Thanks, I hope she likes it. I'm almost excited for spring so that we can plant a bunch of flowers and maybe try to grow grass.. maybe get some nice rocks and make a fence sort of thing.. maybe get a bench. Still so hard to believe she's gone. A woman from the barn got me a card but I think the whole world could send me a sympathy card and I still couldn't believe this.


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## Reno Bay

Her resting place is looking nice, Jore. I'm sure she appreciates it. All that blue is very calming.

Whenever I talk to my mother about our pets she always has to walk away from the conversation because I'm that crazy person who wants to get them taxidermied...so far she's only agreed to that for my mouse. *shrugs* That's sort of humorous in a creepy way.

If you'd like, we can try to make arrangements for that painting to be sent over (I'm vaguely annoyed that I couldn't get the color just perfect). I don't want to seem like too much of a creeper, so I could do a better scan/picture that you could get as a print instead.

Love always <3


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## gunslinger

Yep the grave site looks so nice......It just breaks my heart to watch you go though all this. 

How's your mom and dad taking all this?


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## Jore

Thanks, I tried getting everything in turquoise/light blue. We have a blue feather pendant hanging from the branch. I was trying to find a dream catcher but I couldn't find one. 

Reno Bay, maybe a scan would work better.. that way no shipping charges and then my mom and I could take it to a printing company and get it blown up as a poster perhaps. I couldn't get the colour just right either, which is why I left mine greyscale.

Gunslinger, they're taking it better than I am. I don't know about my dad, since he doesn't live with us... but he came over to visit for awhile and messaged me. I didn't really talk to him though, as I'm not really up for talking to anyone lately it seems. I think the hardest part for him is that he knows how much I loved her and I think he secretly was kind of attached to her too. My mom says that her heart breaks for both Indie and I.. she was crying more than I was at one point, but I think I'm still in such disbelief that I spend half my time forgetting that Indie has passed on. 

I found the pictures on my mom's phone today of my hand on Indie's shoulder and just of Indie from that night. I might try posting them at one point, but they upset me too much now. I had her take those two pictures in hopes that they would provide me with some sort of comfort at one point.


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## Jore

*November 23, 2012*

I've never gone three days without seeing you, Indie. It's been two days now, almost. Tomorrow will be the first Saturday in a long time that I'm not getting up early just to go see you. Excluding two weeks ago when I was at a concert, but I'd give back that experience to have just one more day with you.

I am sitting curled up on the couch watching Say Yes to the Dress, with your cooler keeping me nice and warm. I don't think I will ever not use it. We were watching The Watch until Rogers decided to malfunction so now we're stuck watching this show, where the bridezilla is on the loose. I think if I ever get married, I will have a turquoise colour palate. 

It's comforting to write to you in here.. even if I'd still love to think I was going to take you on a nice ride tomorrow. Ya know, work on impulsion and try getting that hind end under you. You had a natural way of moving.

I wondered today about your son, Tucker. I bet he's beautiful just like his mama. Maybe some day, I'll meet him when he's all grown up. When I took you for our first test ride, I remember him prancing around the pasture. He was so full of spirit, just like you, and you were a trooper until the end.

I wish I had known what was wrong with you so that we maybe could have saved you. You never really showed pain except for the first day of your leg injury. Had I known what was coming, I wouldn't have gotten my knickers in a knot over something so minor. 
I looked at the picture of my hand on your shoulder today, and I hope you felt it. That hand, although scared as could be, was radiating love... just for you. Never in my life did I wish for something more than I did that night. You had tricked me that you'd pull through and as everyone watched the vet check your breathing, I kept insisting you were pulling my leg. I mean, you were always such a goof.

I don't think I will ever understand why God took you away from me so soon, but I will trust that He will take amazing care of you until we meet again. I hope you loved the decorations we made today, wait until spring, we'll plant flowers and hopefully grow grass. I don't think I will ever be the same, but thank you for teaching me what dedication truly means and how to love without hesitation.

Love always and forever,
Your best friend Hayley
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cacowgirl

Oh, girl, you bring tears to my eyes. I am so sad for you & your family. I'm glad you have her blanket to warm you & that you are able to put your feelings into a love letter to your horse. You forged such a strong bond in the little time you had her, but you did give her a good life, never doubt that.


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## Jore

It helped to write out that little letter, so I think I might try to write one each day.

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday which I almost forgot about due to all this, so I have to figure that all out and study for math at the same time. I only missed two days, but I'll have to hope Indie helps me catch up and make it through the school day. I know she will though.

I still am struggling to accept this though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

I used to always get anxious while outside in the dark, but tonight... not so much. I just reminded myself that I have a guardian angel to call my own, as much as I'd prefer her to still be here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Icrazyaboutu

I know how you feel, girl. 
I lost my little old man five months ago (I had him for two months shy of nine years[more than half my life] and although we didn't start out with the bond you and Indie had, we definitely developed one). Honestly, it doesn't get much easier. I still cry when I think of him for too long, the memories that randomly pop up that use to make me laugh only get a sad little ha ha.. out of me now. But I can talk about him more. I can go on and on about how angry the vet made me. I can talk about how my other horse has changed since Bart passed. I can talk about our bond. But it is SO hard everytime. 
I think I just wanted to be numb for a while after he died. Just so it would go away. But that wouldn't help the situation and it won't bring him back. So, I've focused on other things. My other horse, Dozer; the dogs;work;school. But the memory f him and the pain of losing him won't go away.
I'm not too sure how much of that had anything to do with anything. But its what came out.
So, I just wanted to say that a lot of us know how you feel, and if you ever want to talk to someone, even just to say how hard its been or how much you miss Indie, yoou can pm me or any other member, we're all here for you.
And keep talking to Indie, she's listening


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## Jore

Thank you. I can remember saying if God took her away from me, I was going to become an atheist. But in fact, it resulted in me desperately wanting to believe in him.. just to have the security of knowing she's in perfect health now and is watching me from her green meadow.

*November 24, 2012*

I already said it when I woke up.. but good morning, Indie. I hope you have a nice day galloping around in the fields. My day will likely consist of sitting around, doing a bit of math, hopefully visiting you and watching tv. I will maybe bring my math with me so you can keep me on track with it.

Normally, I'd be at the barn right now so it's rough not being able to go see you. But, we'll meet again. I love you with all my heart, and miss you more than words can describe.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

It is lightly raining outside.. I wonder if you miss me too?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

Hi, Indie.

This still doesn't seem real. Half the time, I just forget about what happened. I keep forgetting you're not here anymore. I take solace in the simplest things, and consider them small signs that you're here in spirit.

My mom is going to get groceries tomorrow, so I will bring my math work up and I'll come visit you. That way, I'll be able to focus without distractions. I hope all the decorations held up with the rain today.

Some of the smallest things make me remember that night. Tonight at the dinner table, I said "yolo" and immediately thought of you. I'm trying my hardest not to swear or anything lately so that I have a guaranteed spot in Heaven next to you.

Today I was browsing horse classifieds, which is something I do all the time.. whether it be to look at tack or whatever. I couldn't help but compare all the horses to you. If and when I ever get another horse, they will have huge shoes to try to fill. None of them were half as gorgeous as you are.

I will never forget you and all your antics and how you never failed to make me smile. I hope you had a nice day today and I hope you've made tonnes of friends, I know you lacked equine buddies at the barn so I bet God paid extra special attention when he picked a few buddies out for you. 

I miss you, so much. I am still deciding what to embroider on the back of my jacket. Should I find a quote or should I get "Hoofprints on my heart <3"? The writing will be in turquoise (although it'll totally clash with the gold lettering on the front.. but that's irrelevant) and I want it in a similar font to your stall sign. 

Good night my love <3
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

I have a feeling that Christmas is really going to suck this year. I remember when I was little, how every Christmas Eve.. I'd always get _so_ excited and never be able to sleep. I'd sleep in little segments and be up at 6am.

Now, I usually just sleep as long as possible. This year, I don't know what I'll do. I have nothing to look forward to. Not Indie, just nothing. Maybe I'll get a couple hundred dollars for shopping, but normally, I'd have wanted to go out and buy Indie and the other pets some stuff for Christmas. My mom had already told me back awhile ago while buying Indie's blankets and everything that it all counted for most of my Christmas presents. My dream finally came true... and then she got taken away from me.

While browsing the ads today on a facebook group, I was thinking about the day when I'll probably have to sell a few of Indie's things. What will I say? Size 84 1200D 300gm fill tartan blanket, never worn? Yet, there is still a very vital memory attached to that one blanket. That was the blanket that Indie's head was on when she left this world. There's even memories attached to the curry mitt. There's memories attached to everything. 

It's safe to say one thing, I want my Indie back.


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## Jore

Broke down crying on the way home from dropping off my sister's friend. We were listening to Justin Bieber's Christmas album and every single time the "All I want for Christmas is you" verse came on, tears welled in my eyes. I probably had about one hundred tears rolling down my cheeks.. still have a few. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

I have decided that, when my heart is ready, I am going to buy an OTTB mare. Although Indie had been off the track for three years, she really set a place in my heart for them.. and proved that any horse has the potential.

I've been browsing lots of ads, but honestly, none seem quite as gorgeous as Indie. She was truly one of a kind. With my ADD, I'm wondering if getting back into riding sooner rather than later might help with my recovery through this. I definitely won't be getting a new horse for awhile, but I am going to continue my riding "career" so that I'll be ready for that moment when Indie leads me to my next horse. 

Out of all the horses I passed by on my little hunt, I found one three year old mare who did catch my eye. She looks to be the opposite of Indie, but she's still quite pretty. I feel like I'm betraying Indie by even thinking about my next horse, but I know that she would be okay with it since she knows that she continues to mean so much to me. I feel like putting my energy into another deserving horse could be the best tribute to Indie, and perhaps she'd guide me along the way.

I don't want another horse for awhile, because I know when it's meant to be, Indie will lead me to a horse who she thinks will be good for me. In the end, no horse is ever going to replace Indie but eventually, I want to be able to love another horse again.

I think I'm going to put a lot of my time and effort into researching the care of OTTBs and eventually, I'll be talking to my instructor about it... I'm sure she'll be more than happy to help me if and when I decide to take the plunge.

This is the mare that had caught my eye:

Peakabold

I'm thinking that if it's meant to be, then Indie will make sure she stays available for the next few months until I'm ready. Maybe God took Indie away from me so that I could share the love with yet another deserving horse. Either way, I'd do anything to have my Indie back.

I'm going to the barn today and I'm going to visit Indie's grave and try working on some math... since that's the only place that I'll be able to 100% focus. I want to clean her bridle too. I miss her so much. I feel so guilty and horrible for looking at other OTTBs. I feel like I'm still numb at times, and the smallest things remind me of Indie. Whenever I start talking about her, tears well up in my eyes.

I hope she's enjoying the weather today, and I hope she's tearing up some grass with her new buddies.


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## Jore

I enjoyed my visit with you today... tears, frozen skin and all.


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## Jore

It's my first day going to school (aside from Thursday when I tried) so send me good luck vibes, Indie.. and on my math test too. I'm going to ask my teacher if I could perhaps write it after school one day so that I have a chance to ask a few friends for some help, since I missed a couple things.

I'll be back to visit you tomorrow, since I have a lesson... although I don't know if I'll go to it. We'll see.

I was just so excited that we were finally getting back into riding after your leg injury, but my excitement was so short lived; it wasn't, and isn't, fair. You were finally just getting both canter leads quite easily prior to the leg injury and we'd probably be working on them again by now. I guess people are right when they say that "all good thing must come to an end", eh? I really miss you.


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## gunslinger

Good look Hayley.

After my son's death I found some comfort in this:

*Ecclesiastes 3 *

3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?
10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.
11 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.
12 I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.
13 And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.


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## xxBarry Godden

*India has passed on.*

Jore 
I have extracted what I personally feel to be important for you at this time of grief:
QUOTE
Out of all the horses, I found one three year old mare who/which did catch my eye. 
She looks to be the opposite of Indie, but she's still quite pretty. SEE BELOW
I feel like putting my energy into another horse could be the best tribute to Indie, 
and perhaps, _knowledge of her_, will guide me along the way _with her successor_. Indie will lead me to a horse who will _bond with _me. 
I want to be able to love another horse again. I feel numb at times, and the smallest things remind me of Indie. Whenever I start talking about her, tears well up in my eyes. SEE BELOW
UNQUOTE

Jore, be advised that you are not alone in your anguish at the premature death of your Indie. Thanks to your writing skills your grief comes across powerfully to the readers of this thread. Many of us have passed along the same path which you are now treading. We share in your sorrow. 
Sadly one of the events we humans inevitably have to get used to is the death of a pet with which we have developed a bond. If we have found such a horse which has offered its love and companionship in return for care and the provision of food, shelter and safety which only a human can offer, then we are indeed blessed. A true bond between horse and human is precious and a relationship not experienced by all riders. 
Jore, you were indeed blessed by your Indie.

What comes next is up to you. Yes, keep riding and steadily improve your skills and knowledge of horses. Resist the temptation to rush quickly into a new purchase. Go ride *lots* of horses: mares and geldings, warm and cold blooded, young and mature. The colour of the horse is immaterial - what is important is the health and temperament of the animal. It is best to have a true history of the animal from birth to the day of purchase. A vet’s examination and written report is also essential. 

But the most important characteristics of any horse which you might think to buy is the look in the eye of the animal whenever you appear and the feeling in your groin whenever you have mounted up. _Can you make with this horse a partnership?_ That feeling is an instinctive reaction expressed by the part of your brain which controls your reactions and which keeps you up in the saddle. What also is mandatory is that the horse you choose is fit for your purposes in the future.

Incidentally, looks aren’t everything. I’ve owned some very pretty horses but my favourite ride was a common Welsh/Hannoverian bay cob gelding - the plainest looking of them all.

As for your grief, then sorry there is nothing to be done. In time it will fade. In due course you will be able to talk about Indie without bursting into tears. Actually for you, Jore, Indie will never die - hopefully she’ll stay in your mind for ever. That way she will never leave you But your new horse should come without baggage and should in its own right come in time to earn your love, your care and your trust. The horse might not ever be your Indie, but thanks to her you’ll know how best to treat your new buddy.

Choose well, choose carefully and be lucky.

Barry G 
PS When do we read your first books about your life with horses?


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## Cacowgirl

Well said Barry-so eloquent. You are a great writer & so is Hayley-I love to see that you are encouraging her,she is a budding talent.


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## Jore

Thank you everyone, I can't even begin to explain how appreciative I am of all the support I have been receiving on here.

Barry Godden, thank you for all your kind words and advice. (and if only my English teacher thought my writing skills were as great! Her complaint is that I'm often too 'wordy' which I can agree with... choppy, repetitive sentences aren't my thing!)

I will most certainly keep riding, as it truly is one of my passions in life, although I believe owning a horse added a completely different dimension to it. I had leased a couple horses prior to Indie, but that bond never held a candle to that I had with Indie, despite both leases lasting roughly a year and a half.

I still believe it was destiny that Indie and I ended up together. I had skipped over her ad multiple times until I figured that I might as well go check her out... and I feel so blessed to have taken that chance on her. 

Even during her last few hours, she still had the kindest eye. Words cannot quite describe the look in her eyes that she got when she saw me coming down the barn aisle. I know many people say that horses don't "love", but Indie could easily have been the exception to that. 

She was an atypical Thoroughbred, my instructor had warned me that they were crazy and hot-blooded... but Indie was anything but. In her three months at the barn, she had witnessed out-of-control alpacas, the murder of a pigeon, gusty winds and not even batted an eyelash. Everyone was impressed by her, and I was incredibly proud to call her mine.

I've said this many times before, but I got lucky with Indie. 

I'll keep your advice in mind about not rushing to get another horse. I have a brief idea in mind of what I'd like when time comes, but I'd like the horse to be sound enough for jumping and dressage. It also might be stereotyping to an extent, but I have a feeling that my next horse will also be a mare. Until then, my instructor has offered to let me ride her horses whenever I feel up to it, so maybe I'll get on her 17.3hh Percheron cross or her grumpy Thoroughbred gelding, to expand my skillset. 

If anything, Indie taught me so much about dedication and horse ownership in general. My only wish would have been for her to have displayed some sort of symptoms before it had been too late. I am so grateful that I was there for her last moments, but seeing the light fade from her eyes will remain a painful memory.

I probably could write a book about my experiences with Indie, I'd say I've written enough in here to put together a few chapters. I'm glad that I had taken the time to write the entries though, although they became short and sweet leading to the days prior to her passing.


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## xxBarry Godden

Your writing about times with Indie will be cathartic and should help you come to terms with her demise. Write in your own style and develop it to suit what you wish to convey to the reader. 

Horse ownership can become the hobby of a lifetime and is really more a lifestyle than a sport. It comes as a cost not only of money for feed and board but also at a cost of time spent. The horse is after all your 24/7/365 responsibility. You will have to forego other pleasures because you do not have the time.

But another cost is in emotion. Understanding, recognising and treating a horse becomes a drain on your psyche. You have to speak for the horse to the vet and other health practioners. You have to think and plan and decide for the animal. The animal relies upon you to defend it from uncaring humans.

In return if you get it right, then when you are in the saddle, you turn your head to the right and the horse gets ready to move to the right - merely because you twisted your upper body slightly to the right. The horse stops because you stiffen and hesitate. When the bond comes it can be magical to experience.
But it doesn't happen with every horse you ride so make sure you choose the right one.

But Jore, be advised, the skill takes years amd there is much for you to learn and experience. If things go well for you, the joy of horses will last a lifetime.

Barry G


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## Jore

It really is, I went to the barn about five to six times a week and usually stayed for at least three hours each visit, although it could be as much as six or seven on Saturdays and Sundays. 

I think Indie and I were awfully close to achieving that type of bond, if we didn't already have it. I could ride around the ring, with my hands holding just the buckle, and get her circling without any rein pressure and very little leg.

I hope I stick with it throughout my life, I've always wanted to eventually have my own barn, although that may have to wait until I'm retired as I'd like to be a psychologist. I'm always going to try and have a horse though, but I'm going to make sure it's the right one for me. I won't ever find another Indie, but perhaps I'll be able to find a horse that I can get along with just as well.


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## Jore

*November 27, 2012* 

Hi, Indie,

Thank you for sending good vibes for my math test. I'm pretty confident that I got at least a 90% on it. Also on my chemistry quiz, I don't know why I have so much trouble understanding the formulas but hopefully you'll force me to study!

I'm sorry that I never made it down tonight. There is a hockey game tomorrow and I'm going to see if mom can bring me over to visit you for a half hour. I always have trouble leaving because I feel like I am abandoning you. But, in reality, you're always with me.

I don't know if it's a normal part of grief, but my mind continually pushes everything back. It also tries its hardest to keep me from crying. Certain things get tears welling in my eyes, and when I talk to you at your resting place... you know I always break down crying.

Good night Indie, and I'll keep watching you star every single night.

Love always and forever,
Hayley
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

*November 28, 2012*

I'm sorry that I couldn't get a ride down tonight, Indie. I will try to come up and visit you on Friday or this weekend. I don't think reality has even hit me yet.

I am starting lessons back up next week. Laura is going to get me to ride Roger, the grumpy 16.2hh Thoroughbred cross. I admit, I'm kind of nervous but I wouldn't be riding him if Laura didn't think I could handle him.

I don't think he'll be an eighth as amazing as you, but I promise to be optimistic. I miss how sweet you were and how you'd "help" me groom your face with the curry mitt by moving your head up and down on it. 

You were such a quick learner too. After we had that breakthrough on lateral flexions (remember, five minutes of asking and me humming jeopardy music while becoming disoriented?!). After just one session of lungeing, you were walking and trotting on voice command. Now, stopping was not as easy but we would've had it mastered if we had more time together.

I love you so much, and I miss you more than a fish would miss water.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

*December 1, 2012*

I have been quite busy these past few days. I feel horrible for not having came and visited you yet. Tears are welling up in my eyes, rolling down my cheek, as I type this.

For the past week, I have been trying to forget, but last night at a birthday party, I did start crying. I laughed it off with a joke though and set it aside until now.

My mom found my first stuffed horse back from when I was younger. Ironically, the horse has big brown eyes with a reddish brown body and a darker mane and tail. Oh yes, and a white stripe down its face. Coincidence? Maybe. Destiny? I think so. I have dubbed "her" Indie and she is now residing on my nightstand.

I started to detangle the strand of your tail tonight but stopped once I realized some hair was coming out of the elastic. Your tail was always soft, conditioned and tangle-free... so it was hard for me to leave it.

I have a driving lesson on Tuesday, I know she will ask me how you are doing. What will I say? That you passed away? That you died? How do I explain it so that I don't break down into tears? 

My phone is dying or else I would be writing a novel right now.

I love you always and miss you so much,
Hayley
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

Saw some pictures of somebody who had their horse decked out in awesome looking turquoise zebra print polos and a matching saddle pad. I almost messaged them to ask where they bought the saddle pad, then I forgot I don't have a horse to buy one for. You'd have looked really beautiful in it.


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## Jore

I quite dislike the tingling sensation in your nose that you get when you try to hold back on crying. I was just looking at my cover photo on facebook and reminiscing.

http://sphotos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/704943_4972646043319_1836566094_o.jpg


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## Jore

*December 3, 2012*

Well, we have been reading Of Mice and Men in English class.. and today, the mentally delayed Lennie murdered Curley's wife. The novel goes on to describe a pause in time, which triggers my teacher into telling about a car crash she witnessed. She said everything seemed to be in slow motion.

What did I think about? The night that you left me. And how everything seemed in slow motion as the vet checked for breathing. And how the world seemed to pause as he shook his head. I admit, my eyes got watery and I had to wipe them. Nobody noticed, thank goodness.

I am coming to the barn early tomorrow so I'll come up and eat my Subway with you and have a nice chat. I am still nervous about riding Roger, and I am upset that I can no longer ride you.

I had waited so long for a horse to call my own, and it took only two months and two weeks for you to be taken away. I got you on September 7 and you left on November 21. Our time together was cut off too soon, even though we had made such immense progress in our training and our bond. I wanted to take you to the local show next year but now, I can't.

Truth is, for awhile, I wondered why my mind kept pushing this back and not let me cry. Now, I understand. I didn't want to be burdened with the pain of losing you, but it always helps to cry and get it out which is what I am doing as I type this.

Love, 
Hayley
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cacowgirl

Oh, Hayley,sorry you are still in so much pain. Getting back on a horse will probably be good for you-hope you & Roger get along. You have a lot of years ahead & you really don't want to spend them horseless,so try out some different horses, save up some more money & one of these days you'll be ready to go shopping again. We'll be here for you!


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## Jore

Thanks, I hope we do. I don't enjoy grumpy horses too much, so I'll have to hope that we get along.

My dad said that we can maybe look at getting me an OTTB as a project horse this spring. I find another OTTB website and they have numerous mares with nice builds.. one in particular but chances are that she won't still be available. Indie will lead me to the right one though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

Seeing and reading what you're going through, and crying with you, I would dare saying to not wait until spring......


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## Jore

I admit that I would like another horse sooner.. except I need to save up some money for shipping as I'd need the horse shipped from NY to New Brunswick.. plus a PPE. The horse I've found is $1000 so I don't know if my parents would even want to pay that amount to begin with.

Take the Press, 6 year old, 16 h mare | Finger Lakes Finest Thoroughbreds

This is the mare that I'm interested in, although I'm sure she won't be available by the time I can have another horse. I think another horse would help with the healing process.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

Why don't you check craigslist just across the border from you. NB gave you a link, in fact, if I was on that end of the US, I'd snatch up a couple of standies who were offered there;-)
That would reduce shipping cost, and a PPE can be done anywhere.


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## canteringhearts

Oh, Jore, this has been said several times before since you announced what happened, but my condolences. People say this all the time when loved ones pass, animals especially, but Indie was utterly gorgeous and she made you a very, very happy girl. I believe you and I are around the same age, more or less - sixteen here; forgive me if I’m wrong -but I have also lost a best friend horse-wise, before, and it (again, forgive me) hurt like all _hell_. Still does, and it’s been about a year. But it gets better slowly. Don’t feel bad about looking for another horse. I recently finally got my own, and though he’s different from my mare, he’s magnificent. The mare mentioned wasn’t even mine, she was a school horse but I adored her. Whatever you decide to do horse-wise, don’t forget to give it your all; you’ll have no regrets, and trust me when I say Indie will be there every step of the way, whatever you choose.


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## Jore

Deserhorsewoman, I do like the Ras Princess mare they have put on there.. but I'm not a conformation expert. I think chances are that I'd be getting the next horse from a program in Canada since it'd probably be simpler.

Thank you, canteringhearts. She really was gorgeous and I'm still having a hard time accepting that she's gone. Even with all the horse ads I've gone through, I haven't found one that seems to be as nice as Indie. I'm sure she'll lead me to the right horse eventually, but I'm hoping sooner rather than later.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

I second that, Hayley, and if I was you I'd take NB with me ;-)
And, consider a gelding! It might be easier to not compare too much ...come to think about it, I would have had the right one for you, if I wouldn't have left Europe. He was exactly what a very special young lady would have wanted....in fact, he has now such a young lady, but she was hard to find.


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## Jore

My mom said to really think this through... sounds like she doesn't even want me to have another horse.

And I don't know if my dad would even drive that far to check out that horse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

*December 4, 2012*

Four words: Roger is an ***. Okay, so he isn't too bad under saddle but on the ground, oh boy. :-| He hates being groomed so my instructor ended up grooming him just to show me how to handle him since he gets really hyped up and likes to swing around. He behaved fine while I tacked him up, but not for grooming. I much prefer Indie's personality, that's for sure. It's always so relaxing to groom a horse.. but with Roger, it'll be a chore and a half and not enjoyable.

He has a big floaty trot and his leg yields are nice, and his canter is quite uphill. But, my mind couldn't help but wander off to Indie and wonder how much fun the lesson would've been with her. Every time I started getting discouraged, "Diamonds" by Rihanna just played in my head so I just continued to try my best for Indie. I know she wouldn't want me getting discouraged or anything, so I kept at it.

He got a bit moody at the canter and tried kicking out a few times, and also spooked a couple times.. but he went alright. I just wish I had been riding Indie. I got to leave earlier because someone else was riding him afterwards, but I'd have rather taken the usual extra half hour if I had Indie back. She was just so sweet and quiet, and so willing and affectionate. Roger is pushy, grumpy, moody, not very quiet.. and just... isn't Indie. :-(

I think Indie really was my ideal horse. So, if I can find a horse who is half as pleasant as she was, I will be happy. I am going to my private lesson tomorrow so I'm going to talk to Laura about the whole training an OTTB while we're cooling down.

I was crying when I went to get Roger from his stall, simply because his stall is right beside Indie's. I dusted her blankets off when I walked by. I almost started crying at multiple times during the ride because I kept thinking about Indie. And, I am crying right now as I type this.

If I have learned anything, it's not to take anything for granted. I know that I will likely continue to do so, but for my next horse, I am going to cherish every moment twice over and take a billion and three pictures each week. 

Also, we finished Of Mice and Men today and it made me think of Indie. George ended up shooting Lennie in the back of the head, because he wanted that last shred of responsibility and wanted to make sure Lennie's last moments were full of joy because he knew that Curley and the others were coming to shoot him themselves. Even though we predicted that George still became depressed, he won't have any regrets. It's kind of like Indie and I. As much as I hate that I relive that moment multiple moments in a day, I am glad that I was there for her. Although if I had known she wasn't going to pull through and that it would've ended that way, I think I'd have had the vet euthanize her instead of her passing away like she did... as hard as it would've been. I will not ever forget the panic in her eyes as she reared up and fell over.


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## deserthorsewoman

You're right, you will not forget that. But it will become less painful with time, I can assure you.

To Roger....give him credit. He's a school horse. He doesn't have his own person. He would change into something sweeter if he had the chance. I had a horse like him, grumpy, mean sometimes, wouldn't want to be groomed, because he was so ticklish. He would get so mad that he would bite anybody and anything who was in reach. He even bit himself( and hubby, but that's another story lol). He was a professor under saddle, would test me to the max, but a saint with children and timid beginners. Wannabe cowboys he would dump after 2 minutes, sharp. When he felt good he would just ignore me. When sick, he stuck his head under my arm. 
Took me a long time to love him for what he was. And when he went, he made sure I was there with him. He was 26 when his heart gave out, I had the honor of sharing 15 years with him. 
He left me in 2003 and it still hurts, but I can now look at his pictures and think about the fun times we had together. 
It helped having other horses to take care of.


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## Jore

I know.. I tried to like him. I just couldn't help but compare him to Indie. He was nice under saddle.. but I just enjoy a well-mannered horse overall. My instructor just said he was really thin skinned so I guess I can't blame him but it's difficult to make that transition from loving on your own horse to a school horse who doesn't really enjoy grooming or affection.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

It is. At least he has character. Most TB's in his situation just shut off their brains. 
I used to tell my Rudy how childish I found his behaviour. He would give me the dirtiest looks for that, I swear. Made me laugh, actually. It's the "pet me but don't touch me" type....


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## Jore

Yeah, apparently he had been used as a lesson horse somewhere else before my instructor's client bought him (who sold him to my instructor after he was too much to handle).. but now my instructor, and one of her older students are the only ones who really ride him. He's gone to a few clinics with people like Ron Zohar and he's a pretty decent jumper. I just like a more affectionate horse, I was almost intimidated by him at first. I think the fact that I'm still in pain over Indie is interfering with how I feel about him, I just told him that we were going to try and get along... we did okay at that, at least after the first five minutes.


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## deserthorsewoman

Maybe you should tell him before you ride him next time that he can help you "clear your head" . And how you feel, alone now, maybe he'll understand, being in a somewhat similar situation.....


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## Jore

Knowing me, I'll probably try that.. I did ask him tonight to at least try and behave for me. I'm pretty sure he could sense the anxiety that was radiating from me. He calmed down after he was done being groomed, although he kept rubbing up on me and almost knocked me over at one point so I had to just push his head away.


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## deserthorsewoman

Juuuuuuust like my Rudy......with women he only rubbed or bumped slightly....men he got really good in the private parts;-)


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## deserthorsewoman

Oh, and the grooming, stay very matter of fact, don't be tender, just normal, without fuss and fast.


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## FrostedLilly

Hi Jore, 

I just read about your Indie, and like others before me, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. Reading your posts brought me back to when I lost my very first horse when I was 18. It took me a few months to really heal and even now, 8 years later, I sometimes still get a little sad when I think about her. I think it's important to know that it's ok to be sad. There is such a bond that you build when you work together as a team with a horse whether the time period be days, months or years and I think you're handling your grief quite well by writing about it. Not all people deal with grief as constructively as you have. 

I smiled a little when you posted about one of the horses you looked at not looking a thing like Indie; my first horse was a sorrel, and whenever I see a sorrel horse, no matter its conformation or personality, I always hold it in just a little higher regard than the other horses! Even though the horse I have now is dark brown, I still stop and turn whenever a sorrel walks by. 

I'm sorry to hear that Roger was an ***, but he might settle down after having you ride a few more times.


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## Jore

I certainly hope he calms down, but apparently it's just his character. He's alright once he's tacked up, but grooming him just makes me nervous... although I'm sure I'll get used to handling him.

I'm trying to convince my dad to take a trip down to a racetrack with me. We'll just take tonnes of pictures and videos, bring them back with us and then ask my coach (and I'll be asking here) for advice, and then get a PPE on the horse of our choice. There's a mare in NY that I think looks alright (waiting for critique in a thread) but she's had a lot of starts for only being six years old so that worries me.


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## deserthorsewoman

Don't be intimidated by the show he puts on. Stay calm, but don't take too much crap either. 

Racing a lot when young is completely normal. That's where most money is. And that's also why most of them are done with 4 unfortunately. It's not worth it, races pay little and if they won a lot they go into breeding.


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## Jore

I'm going to try not to be. I tried to just maintain the leader role throughout the ride and when I was tacking him up. I know a lot of people may see the whole rubbing up on people as affectionate, but I've always been taught that it's rude.. so I just continued moving his head away whenever he tried it. Then whenever he tried swinging his hind towards me, I'd just put a bit of pressure into his side and he'd usually stop. 

And yeah, I'm just worried that all the racing will have ruined the horse's joints.. although in the video, she didn't appear sore at all. There didn't seem to be any swelling or lumps on her legs in the pictures either.. they seemed quite clean.


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## deserthorsewoman

The rubbing is not really rude, but it's disrespect. I do have to admit, I learned to live with it. Just braced myself against the wall and let Rudy rub away. He never took advantage of it. Swinging his hind over....what does his face look like when he does it, mean? Or rather mischievous?
With your concerns about the legs, PPE gives you at least an idea.


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## Jore

Yeah, that's what I had meant, but when he does it, his ears are always slightly pinned back. Indie had started out doing that quite frequently (almost knocking me over actually) but learned not to after a few tiny corrections. She still did it on occasion but I didn't mind because it was just a light rubbing and I knew I had her respect otherwise because she never acted out. (which isn't even an exaggeration, she started out really impatient at first and pranced around whenever I made her whoa.. but after a couple weeks, she had much more patience and was a really well-mannered horse who everyone loved to work with)

We'll definitely get a PPE, although I'm thinking I'll try limiting myself to horses with twenty five starts or less, preferably the lateral. Just for a slight piece of mind, although I know there's no time frame on injuries for racing.

Also, I had a dream about Indie last night. 

For some reason, it was set in my friend's cow farm but the barn was full of horses. Indie was laying down on her side (because in the dream, the guttural pouch infection still happened) but somehow woke up and started eating some hay. Then, she saw me coming and although she was struggling to get up, she hobbled over to me and rubbed up on my hand through the bars. When I had to leave, she didn't want me to go.


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## EvilHorseOfDoom

Regarding the rubbing, being a small, slight person I don't really like it when a horse does it to me (I can easily get knocked off my feet - heck, the wind can blow me over, really!). So what I do is as soon as a horse starts to rub I immediately remove the rubbing surface (i.e. me) although I don't step back, but rather to the side, and give the horse a bit of a "get lost" jesture with my arm/hand. Then, once the horse has got the picture, I'll give him a good scratch on the shoulder/neck and allow him to give a bit of a scratch back (Brock usually scratches my hip). But he's not allowed to rub/scratch unless I instigate it, and he's not allowed to stop until I do (and then he must stop immediately). It's a nice way to "bond" without blurring any respect lines.

If he's being nervous and moving around while grooming, just be calm and steady and don't stop grooming when he moves around, just follow him with your hand. He'll soon realise that moving won't make the brush/comb/pressure go away and will stand as it takes less effort. If he's moving INTO your space, however, give him a good jab with your finger behind the elbow/on the girth and reinforce with a clear "over!", and don't let up til he moves over.

And regarding TBs - if they've raced I'd recommend getting leg x-rays done as part of the PPE. They're not actually that expensive, although you'll need to let the vet know before he/she comes out because IME they don't usually take the portable x-ray machine along for PPEs. They really do provide a lot more info and if you do decide to buy the horse you have a "baseline" set of x-rays so any changes to the bone/joints can be spotted in the future if a problem ever crops up.


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## deserthorsewoman

Why do you think I braced myself, Evil;-)....he did nearly knock me over and I'm by no means tiny. I also tried to beat him to it and scratched his forehead before he could rub, then LET him rub. Made for a happy horse without the respect issue.

He also had been pin fired, visibly, and had one flare up when he came back into training, strict stallrest for 6weeks and back to work slowly took care of it, never had a problem after.


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## Jore

Thanks for the tips! I'll just keep at him until he realizes that grooming doesn't have to be a huge deal.

We would definitely be getting x-rays of the legs if they had raced, especially if it was more than, say, ten times. I'm just hoping that there won't be anything wrong that's undetectable.. like what happened to Indie.


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## FrostedLilly

Well I have to say, good on you Jore for getting back in the saddle. You might not think so, but that takes a lot of courage after losing your horse. After my first horse died, I didn't ride for almost 7 years! Some of it was circumstantial, like she died just shortly before I moved away from home, but I honestly just didn't have it in me to ride for a while. 

While Roger isn't your dream horse, he sounds like once he comes around, he could be a lot of fun! Best of luck to you two!


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## Jore

Thanks, I admit.. it wasn't nearly as fun as it was when I had Indie but it wasn't horrible. There were a couple times when I had to keep from crying.

I hope we can at least get along.. I doubt he'll ever come close to Indie but he's just a lesson horse anyways so it's not a big deal if he doesn't. I'm just hoping that I'll be able to find an OTTB prospect by next summer so that I'll have something to do again.


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## Jore

I found a quite nice looking four year old dark bay mare (with no white whatsoever which is strange because I usually prefer at least a star) and I messaged my instructor with a link to get her opinion. Her adoption fee is only $300 and she's in Pennsylvania so it's not too far away. Perhaps we could even take a trip down to meet her. She has a great pedigree too.. with Seattle Slew, Secretariat, Mr. Prospector, Bold Ruler, Northern Dancer.. with Secretariat and Mr. Prospector as her great/great great grandfathers.

As for her conformation, her pasterns have a good angle (which matches her shoulder slope and as well as her hindquarters it appears). She is not over at the knee at all. Clean legs. Her hind pasterns have the same angle as her front pasterns and her legs seem to be well angled and she doesn't appear sickle hocked nor camped out. Her neck seems to come out at a good angle. She has a smooth topline with a slight uphill build. In her video, she had a nice floaty trot under saddle. She just needs work on balancing and just the basics. She does the same head raising as Indie, but as with Indie, I am confident that her head will come down as well with regular work. She also has nicely lengthed cannons and a refined face.

I'm scared to post pictures because I'm worried that people might start e-mailing about her! She looks like a super nice horse even though she's not what I typically go for, colour-wise.. but that's what everyone has told me, colour is only a bonus!


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## Jore

Also, what are even the chances that an adoption facility would adopt a horse out to a sixteen year old? Considering the fact that they do have supportive parents, an instructor and have a vet/farrier lined up as well as a decent place to board.. and of course, lots of love and time to offer.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

That sounds really good. 
Don't know how that particular rescue handles adoptions, but I guess an adult gas to apply, references are needed, from your vet, your farrier, Laura, I guess proof of income....and you'll have to be fast. Read their requirements and apply asap


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## Jore

I'm just praying that my instructor can reply to my message saying that she really likes her and my dad is onboard. The form asks for height/weight so I'm thinking my name needs to be on the initial one and I'll just explain everything and put my dad's number and all the reference numbers on there. I have no doubt that all my references will have great things to say though because everyone at the barn knew how much she meant to me and how I did my best taking care of Indie.

I think approved applicants are supposed to come down and visit the horse.. so maybe if we send one in and get approved, we'll go on Christmas break and just ask them to perhaps hold off on any decision making until then although I doubt they'd do that. 

There was a whole flock of sparrows or some type of bird in a tree chirping so perhaps that was Indie telling me that it will work out in the end. If my dad says we can committ to sending in an application, we'll call up Laura, the farrier and the vet and get their permission to put them as references. Trying not to get my hopes up but this mare looks great and is apparently great on the ground as well.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

Im a firm believer that if it's meant to be it will be


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## Jore

I'm starting to believe that as well, and that's what I told Indie.. to lead me to the right horse.  This horse isn't even what I normally look for, but I am promising to look past that since I know colour is the least of my worries. After losing Indie, health and conformation are my top considerations.. followed by temperament.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

After finding applicant requirements, I found out they only adopt out horses to people in the US.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

That's what I thought.


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## Reno Bay

Jore, I'm sure you'll find the right one soon enough.

Due to financial hell, I never thought I'd be able to have a horse of my own. Working off lesson cost was the closest I ever thought I would get. Then I saw Reno on the TPR website, fell in love, and _had_ to have him. I worked my _butt_ off to find a place that would allow me to pay off board with labor and I brought him home on December 17 last year. If someone as unlucky as me can make her dream come true, I'm sure you can find a lovely horse. Not to replace Indie, but to forge a new and strong bond with.


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## Jore

Thanks everyone, I sure hope I can find a horse who will suit me in the long run. When I get to showing said horse, I'm intending on making the show name something to do with Indie.  Since I had so many plans for her and I hope she can live on through this new horse in a way, perhaps giving him/her little tips and pointers.. but in a way, I hope the horse is a bit different than Indie, just so that it'll be harder to compare.

I am also going to e-mail Amanda sometime to see if she has any new pictures of Tucker, who is Indie's two year old colt. I wonder if he's anything like his mom.


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## Jore

This picture of Indie and Tucker always makes me chuckle...

http://sphotos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/218915_10150171942959317_4781096_o.jpg

And this was Indie back before her CSHA inspection, back when she was looking her finest..

http://sphotos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/62893_432931399316_982539_n.jpg

(as a sidenote, both pictures belong to her former owner)


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## deserthorsewoman

So where is Tucker now?


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## Jore

I believe that he is still with Amanda. He had been prancing around with another two year old when I first went to see Indie.


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## deserthorsewoman

Any chance that he might be for sale?


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## Jore

I don't think so, I think that she was going to keep him, or at least keep him until he was a bit older. I'm not sure his price would be in our budget anyways though, he's an Oldenburg/TB cross so I don't know how much she'd want for him since I'm assuming she paid a decent amount for the stud fee.










http://www.dreamscapefarm.com/HorseDetail.aspx?ID=383

That's his dad.


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## Jore

Also, Second Start Thoroughbreds replied to my e-mail.. apparently they are getting new listings in next week and one may be suited to what I'm looking for. She gave me the contact form to fill out, so I'm hoping to get references sorted this week just so we'll have it. We need Laura's, the farrier's and the vet's so it shouldn't be an issue.


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## deserthorsewoman

Nice
Have you talked to her lately?


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## Jore

Not since the night Indie died, I usually just sent her an update every two weeks.. but I haven't talked to her since then. I think she might have another filly as well that she was going to sell.. except I believe she's three or four. Her father is Freestyle, also from Dreamscape Farms. I'm not sure if she is still interested in selling her though.

http://www.dreamscapefarm.com/HorseDetail.aspx?ID=1


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## deserthorsewoman

Red flag went up when I saw Furioso in the sire's pedigree. Heck of a performance horse sire, but his offspring is not always easy, to say the least. Last one I met, last year, in fact, exploded completely out of the blue for no reason, and not only once. And there was now way of getting her back down to earth, except just waiting until her fit was over. She had extensive ground training, was started really slow, was kept well(my boarder). In fact, I told her owner about the Furioso's when she first got her and she didn't believe me. Later on she did.


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## Jore

Now this is why I am thankful for everyone here! I'd have had no idea otherwise. I don't think I'd have ended up getting her anyways, but I do some day want to purchase a Warmblood foal once I have the money and I have access to a more "high class" facility and trainer. So, I would definitely want a foal from lines known to have a good temperament as well as talent.


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## deserthorsewoman

With Tucker you wouldn't go wrong ;-). His sire has a super nice pedigree and looks it, too.


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## Jore

I don't think I could. His mother was might not've been as impressive to everyone else, but she was really something special. Perhaps some day he'll be for sale, and I'll have to snatch him up. Or maybe she isn't going to geld him and some day I'll be able to get one of Indie's grand foals.


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## deserthorsewoman

You could let Amanda know that you're interested.....;-)


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## Jore

I don't think I have enough experience for a two year old colt though.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FrostedLilly

Well best of luck in your horse hunt. I'm sure you'll find another horse who won't be exactly like Indie, but will fill your heart like she did. That is one thing that is fun about horses, they all have such different personalities and quirks.


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## Jore

http://sphotos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/9694_10151379332298109_1124145918_n.jpg

I got a few awards tonight, but the whole thing was really bittersweet. They were talking about a few trail rides next year and all I could think about was Indie. They also had a bunch of horsey door prizes, and I made my mom go up even though "she didn't know what horses needed" to which I replied with, "I don't need anything anyways".. so she just picked up a sweater which I am wearing now.


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## Jore

Apparently the girl I ride with is going to look at a horse today.

Wishing I still had my horse.


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## FrostedLilly

Well you look beautiful nonetheless. How has Roger been for you?


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## Jore

Thanks, and I haven't ridden since Tuesday. I only have lessons on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.. so it's a bit different than being at the barn five to six days a week.


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## Jore

I don't think I'll even be able to get a new horse if I can't manage to find a regular part-time job. I want to try and see if the local grocery store/convenience store has a few hours a week available.. because even if I worked only three or four hours a week, it could total up around $150/month which would pay for the majority of the board. Then I could also see if I could just help Laura every weekend with chores in exchange for board, as long as I could get a ride down. My mom had just said that she wasn't going to pay for board for a new horse, just feed, etc.. even though she was paying for Indie's board.

I probably won't find a horse anyways so it doesn't matter. But I just feel like a lot of my passion for riding died with Indie.


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## gunslinger

Hayley, I'm not sure how old you are, but I had a part time job at 14.....flipping burgers....my best friend had a paper route.....before that we helped local farmers with hay and Tobacco a few times a year. Now days I think you need to be 16 to work.

As far as your mom, I"m not sure what to make of the boarding situation but boarding horses isn't cheap. Then again it might not be about the money, but rather, about trying to keep you from getting another broken heart. Indie's loss, while hard on you.....well.....I'm sure it isn't easy for your mother to watch you go through this either....

Don't get discouraged.....half the fun is looking for that special horse....and besides......I think Roger might need a young lady like you showing a little interest in him and he might just get to enjoy you working with him....


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## deserthorsewoman

I wholeheartedly agree with you on that, gunslinger....big "like";-)


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## Jore

I'm thinking about putting in a resume at a local store, although one of my friends is good friends with someone employed there and apparently they get very few hours.. although a few is better than none.

I do have some good news though...

*December 11, 2012*

I never thought I'd say this.. but tonight actually went alright. He was still a retard when I was getting him ready but I buckled down and got him ready without any help and made him behave (as much as he would anyways).

Our ride went relatively good.. although he was pretty moody. We did a few good rounds of our pattern, very good actually. If anyone is looking for a possible dressage/jumper, but doesn't mind a horse who is a total butt on the ground.. then I'd check him out. I feel like if he was more loveable, and a mare, then I'd love to have a horse like him. Also, a bit less cranky.

The funny moment of the day:

He was getting a bit testy (my instructor says he always tests new riders for a bit) and gave a huge pop up when I asked for the canter. I bounced up what felt like five feet and just about fell off sideways. I stayed on but managed to _inhale_ my hair. Yes, inhale. It managed to fly into my open mouth and I breathed it in.. so I had to stop and pull it out. I simply said, "I inhaled my hair and couldn't breathe." Moral of the story: Wear your hair up while riding.

His canter is also really "up" and engaged, at one point.. it felt like he was trying to pop me out of my seat but he was just really engaged in his hind end.

He also stood like a champ once we got back up to the barn. Full of attitude? Yes. But maybe we will learn to like each other. My instructor said he is one of those horses that you have to learn to love, but once you love him.. you'll be like "oh my God is he ever awesome!"

He also grinds his teeth which I never knew. It sounds like a dolphin or seal noise. It was pretty funny. He also tried backing up to get out of something.. like Indie did. So I had a little laugh about that before spinning him around and making him move forward.

He definitely isn't Indie but maybe that is good for me right now.


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## deserthorsewoman

He sounds more and more like my Rudy
Although he was easier to canter, once I managed that first stride, which went up instead of forward. Loping with a western saddle and with very light contact was a different story....again, the first stride( if not caught I'd be constantly about a foot above the saddle, hanging on the horn for dear life), then he'd lope nicely.....or so I thought....he'd ever so slightly lower his head, until he was in the right position for a hearty buck. Usually in a turn. He never lost me, but several others bit the dust, much to his joy. I saw him smirking


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## Jore

I think a saddle horn would help! His head will go down nicely.. but he has a tendency to over curl his neck especially at the trot. My instructor said he's never thrown anyone off though and usually his "temper tantrums" aren't too bad, she said he's already shown me his worst. I can live with it though.. I have a feeling if Indie had gotten more weight on her before passing away, she'd have had moments of craziness too.


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## deserthorsewoman

I bet!
My Rudy wasn't really serious about dumping people, it was rather a "yippee " buck. It unseated the more confident, but not necessarily good, riders;-)


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## Jore

Here is one video that I found of Roger being ridden by Ron Zohar back awhile ago..

May 2, 2012 6:10pm | Facebook

I'm going to try and find pictures from the ad.


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## deserthorsewoman

Can't watch FB videos on my phone.....I'll be waiting for the pic;-)


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## Jore

I found this picture..










I can't seem to find the youtube videos.. they were relatively recent and there was about six different videos of him. I'll have to look harder!


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## deserthorsewoman

Very attractive guy


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## Jore

It's not that good of a picture, but he's somewhat cute.. although his ears sometimes look a bit big for his head.  And he likes glaring at me from the corner of his eye.


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## deserthorsewoman

I couldn't find one of Rudy either, they're all on CD and I'm without computer currently.


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## Jore

I don't think I'll be able to get another horse anyways..
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Reno Bay

How 'bout I move up there and bring Reno and we can share? XD
If less than $200 is the majority of board, I'd love to be there @[email protected]

Keep your chin up and be hopeful. Positive thinking begets positive happenings.


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## deserthorsewoman

Yeah, how about a lease?


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## FrostedLilly

Yeah, don't give up. Like DesertHorseWoman said, what about a lease for now? I know you're going through a tough time and it's hard to be hopeful for something that seems so uncertain right now, but keep your chin up!


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## Jore

I'm thinking about doing a lease in the spring, if my dad decides that I can't get another horse.

I also calculated that I spent roughly 200 hours with Indie in the two and a half months we had together. About three hours on weekdays (usually Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday.. frequently Thursdays as well) and about five to seven hours on both Saturdays and Sundays. So if you turned it into days, it'd be around eight and a half days/nights together. 

My instructor was comparing Indie's loss to losing a boyfriend tonight.. in the way that it leaves a void in your heart. But I'd take losing five hundred boyfriends over losing Indie which is what I told her. It also still bugs me that she doesn't think I could handle another Thoroughbred.. because although all horses are different, I feel like I did well with Indie and I feel like Roger and I are doing okay as well.

Oh well. All good things come to an end, and they always say, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

That is very true. 
Get to know Roger a bit better, it can only help. And I wouldn't listen to things like she said. You had Indie and when you master her opposite, Roger, a horse "in between" will be a piece of cake;-)


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## FrostedLilly

I was thinking today, about when I was a teenager and what I used to do if I wanted something. 

It might help to just have a sit down with your mom and dad and find out their reasoning behind why they don't want to get another horse, trying to be as objective as possible. I can see they maybe don't want to see you get hurt as Indie was a huge loss for you. Maybe it's money - horses are not a cheap hobby, especially when you have to get a vet involved. I know the last time I had to call the vet for a hoof abscess, with every tool she brought in, the x-ray machine, the sedative because my mare wouldn't stand still for the x-ray, antibiotics, etc., the opening measures of Pink Floyd's "Money" kept playing in my head. Find out from them what, if anything, there is for you to do; it could be anything from getting a part-time job to improving that math grade. <-- that was always my parents' bargaining chip with me. Explain why you think another horse would be beneficial for you or even your relationship with them if that comes into play. You're very good at writing, maybe write some of your reasons down. I know it's tough to keep your cool, especially with something that is so emotionally close for you and I've always found that if I write something down, it helps keep me focused on why I was there in the first place. 

I don't know about your situation specifically, but I've always found that more communication is always better and it may help to gain some perspective from your parents. You just have to be careful not to get overly emotional though (which is so hard!) I know when I was younger, if I wasn't getting the answers I wanted at the time, getting angry or upset would usually end up with me further behind than when I started! 

Sorry for writing a small novel here. You may have already tried talking with your parents, but I know how difficult it is to lose a horse and I want you to be able to get another and I'm just trying to offer any bit of advice that I can to help that happen.


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## BBBCrone

Popping in here to say hey, Jore and check up on you. Glad to see you are at least trying with Roger. He looks cute! And sometimes those funny attitudes are what endears them to us even though we hate them to start with.

On the issue with getting another horse. Don't be so sure. I don't know about the finances of your family, it's not my business. BUT, what I will say is if the finances are there, it's likely your folks are putting up a wall. As a parent I will say one of the hardest things ever is to watch your child go through pain and be completely helpless to stop it. There was nothing ... nothing they could do. For a parent, that is the WORST feeling in the world. They are watching you go through such a struggle right now. They are suppose to protect you and they know that. In this situation they couldn't and it makes them feel helpless. It is so not their fault but being good parents, they feel it. I hope that makes sense.

If you really want another horse sit down with the both and talk about it. Be honest with them on how you are feeling. Don't bottle those feelings up and stay silent. That leads to everyone not knowing who is feeling what. They need to know where you are coming from. Let them tell you how they feel also. You may be surprised at the outcome. And being willing to look for a job to help with the financial end of things is a very positive step in the right direction.


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## Jore

Thanks, everyone. I don't think money is the issue since the both make a fairly good amount of money, and haven't ever had issues with leasing or with paying for Indie's upkeep or any of that. We've always been very well off compared to the majority of families around my area.

But, I think as non-horse people, the big vet bill came as a shock.. and since they're not horse people, they probably can't justify wanting to have to spend that much money again if something similar happens. Maybe I can look into horse insurance if I get another horse? We have insurance for my Papillon, so maybe that's a valid option...

Luckily for me, Cali isn't too accident-prone *fingers crossed*


DSC_0151 by Right Cute Cali, on Flickr

She'll be two years old this coming March. I originally was going to be getting an Australian Shepherd, but since my mom was going to be watching her while I was in university, we figured it wouldn't be fair to such a high energy breed at only two to have to be limited to a smaller amount of activity while I was away. However, I think I want to look into some dog sports with her, likely fly ball and/or agility.  

I've been busy lately hence my lack of posts. Grade 11 is packed with work! Although I met with my English teacher for advice on our OMAM essay to get pointers and I have a feeling that I'll be doing very well on it. 

I'm still kind of mad about things that Laura said on Wednesday though. That'd she like to see me get a horse who has already been trained because I am not ready to train a horse myself. But, 1) I am well aware that I can't train a horse myself 2) I did well with Indie, and considering Major and I were topping our classes the past two years.. I think I did a good job at putting hours on him because when I first began leasing him, he was still learning to canter and 3) I would appreciate her having a bit of confidence in me and 4) I would like a younger Thoroughbred, not a push button fifteen year old Quarter Horse and 5) I doubt my parents are willing to pay extra money when I can find a horse that fits what _I_ want instead of what Laura wants me to have. Oh, and 6) I think as long as the horse has a nice personality, I will be able to handle him/her with help.

But, in the end, no horse will ever be like Indie. 

Also, a completely unrelated thought, the elementary school shooting made me realize that things can always be worse. And in all honesty, I feel like the whole world is going downhill with all of these mass shootings. However, I really cannot fathom what irrationality could have been going through his mind when the shooter did such a horrendous thing, especially considering the fact that his mother was at home and not at the school.


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## Cacowgirl

Your trainer sure things in a different light than you do-horse-wise. But, ultimateley your parent's have the last say as it's their money & I'm sure those vet bills were significant. They probably don't want to repeat that, or see you suffer again. But it really couldn't be forseen, since you did a PPE, & you certainly did everything you could for her-I think you were a very good horseowner. 
As for the school shooting-I heard the Mom was shot at home first before he went to the school,& did that. It's all just very sad-prayers to all involved in this tragedy.


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## Jore

Yeah, I think we definitely have a lot of different opinions with a few things that we can agree on. But, I think when it comes down to it, I know what I can handle and what I can't. I'm not the type of person who will do something I'm not comfortable with, so if I went out to try a horse and I wasn't comfortable on said horse.. I wouldn't bother with a purchase.

And thank you, it means a lot to hear that everyone thinks I was a good horse owner because I tried my best for her every single time I went up to see her. I just wish there was more I could've done.


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## ilikehorses2

Beautiful!


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## gunslinger

What are your plans for a horse while you're at university?

Were you going to take Indie with you?


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## Jore

I was planning on half leasing her to someone _if_ I could find someone who I felt comfortable leaving her care too. I was also going to look at the possibility of moving her closer, or just coming down on weekends. I was even hoping to look into equestrian teams, if perhaps they had a dressage team or something of the sort.


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## thesilverspear

Jore said:


> I was planning on half leasing her to someone _if_ I could find someone who I felt comfortable leaving her care too. I was also going to look at the possibility of moving her closer, or just coming down on weekends. I was even hoping to look into equestrian teams, if perhaps they had a dressage team or something of the sort.


Looking into equestrian teams is still a good idea. I don't know if you're aware of how they work; if not, the brief explanation is that at college (IHSA and whatever the dressage equivalent acronym is) shows, you ride the horses who live at the facility holding the show. No team brings their own horses. Obviously the college who is at "home" for a show has an advantage, but as the shows move around, everyone gets their home show so it evens out. Team practices at my university were held three times per week (if not more) and always on the college's school horses. I wasn't on any of the teams, but thought that having your own horse and being on one would be terribly stressful, since you'd have to make the time to exercise your horse in addition to the heavy team practice on schoolies schedule, showing on weekends, and occasionally going to class. It was fantastic for people who didn't have horses, as they could ride a lot more than they otherwise would. 

So don't write off teams. You don't need your own horse and it's an amazing opportunity to ride many different horses.


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## Jore

I'll definitely still look into it then, hopefully my university will have some sort of program like that.

*December 20, 2012*

I haven't really had the motivation to come to the forum lately.. mainly because I don't have anything to add anymore. Maybe some day I will, who knows.

The girl I ride with went to look at another horse today, while I sit at home doing nothing but watching The Walking Dead. I might as well be the walking dead. My life now basically consists of school, sitting at home and then playing with my dog. I never feel like having friends over, probably because I see them enough at school. Not having Indie makes me realize how few things I really did besides going to the barn. I went from having hardly any free time to too much of it.

I haven't even been able to go see Indie's grave in what seems like forever. :-( I feel so guilty. But the sun always goes down early now and usually I only go up on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I will try to visit before Christmas.. maybe make the Christmas treat I was going to make her and just set it by the grave and scatter it beside it.

I was going to buy her a boredom buster stall toy and a neat looking aztec print halter for Christmas.


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## deserthorsewoman

You need another horse, like, now.........


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## tinyliny

Dear, when you get to feeling as bad as you are, the best thing you could do is help others. is there a therapy barn you could work at for awhile? this will help you get back to "normal" and then, when spring comes, maybe you can start a campaign to get another horse.


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## Jore

I don't think that'll happen for awhile, not unless I can find a job. My mom said I can start agility with my dog though so that will be something to keep me busy.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

And a lease?


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## Jore

If I could find a horse I'd like to lease, then maybe.

My instructor bought me a horse ornament as a small Christmas gift. Kind of resembles Indie actually.. looks like a chestnut, darker red mane.. thin blaze.


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## Jore

*December 22, 2012*

As I sit here missing Indie a colossal amount, I figured I would just share some memories.










So, when I first got Indie.. she had about the patience of a toddler, or me on most days. She'd paw on the ground after ten minutes (or less) on the cross-ties and she'd paw under saddle if I made her whoa for more than three seconds. By the end of our two and a half months together, she would stand quietly on the cross-ties (even if naughty alpacas were being brought in) and she would be able to wait patiently under saddle while Laura would be explaining something. 

Although she continued to have a stubborn streak throughout our time together, she gradually learned to trust me more and honestly, we had zero disagreements after one or two on the ground. Yes, there was a couple times when I got frustrated with our progress at the canter.. but in our last few rides (excluding the one on the 20th, as she was just coming back from an injury and we only did walk/trot), she was getting both leads quickly and easily. I remember our first lateral flexion. Goodness, it was like a merry go round. We spun around for what seemed like forever before she finally gave in. But, after that, her lateral flexions were quick and easy. She was one smart horse.

After her first structured lungeing session, she was responding well to voice commands. Okay, our next session didn't go as well but we were going to work on that. Never got to.

She always liked to curry her face by herself. I'd put the mitt on, or hold the soft curry comb and rub her face with it once or twice before she'd do it herself. I always tried to keep my hand level, but somehow, it'd always find its way up and I'd be stretching up on my toes to reach her forehead.

I gave her half an apple after every ride. I regret not bringing an apple for her that last night, even though I don't think she would have eaten it. I also gave her little apple slices as rewards. I know people say food makes horses spoiled, but Indie always stayed within boundaries and was very well-behaved. Everyone loved her. The farrier adored her and said she was one of the calmest horses he'd ever seen. She never really put up a fuss and was a relatively timid horse but came around once you got to know her.

Every time we learned something new undersaddle, that became her new 'escape route'. Hey, you don't want to do this anymore? Try a sidepass or a turn on the haunches. I joked about it the other night how she always liked showing off what she just learned. 

She stepped on my toe once, which hurt.. quite bad. But she was content to move off of it, so I forgave her immediately.

Her new stable blanket had a symbol that remotely looked like the Harley Davidson symbol. I always said it was her bad *** blanket. 

She loved feeding time, almost went a little loco when it came time for supper. Yet she never hesitated to share her meal with the pig and goat, although I always chased them off. (multiple times)

In the warmer days, I'd just stand outside with her by the barn and let her graze while I held up the lead rope. 

I had plans to have my grad pictures done with her. She was pretty darn photogenic and had a gorgeous, refined face.

Her mane was _perfect_, just like her. It stayed perfectly on the right (minus a little piece on the end which was a bit wavy), was straight and just lovely looking. My instructor always said that Indie had the nicest mane ever. 

I remember when she first came to the barn. September 7, 2012. Covered in reactions to bug bites, her old, rusty steel shoes filled with dirt. With a little TLC, her coat was shining and she had bounce in her step. No more stiffness due to the supplement, and she was a happy camper.

Her first sugar cube. She didn't understand how to eat it, so I had to pick it up off the ground multiple times before she understood. I got a few laughs out of it.

I never saw her galloping in the field with the others, but I know she would have if they'd have given her the chance to join them. She was like an outcast in the herd, always alone.. but out of all of them, she was, is, the most loved.

So many memories, full of happiness and love. I still feel like she took part of my heart with her that day and I still don't understand why God took her from me, but she made my life so much better by being in it, and I hope I returned the favour.


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## courtneyraae

This is probably the saddest thing I have ever read, I'm so sorry for loss. Indie was a beautiful mare.


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## Jore

Thank you, she really was.

I don't know why but I ended up reading through the thread I made that night...

http://www.horseforum.com/horse-health/please-pray-indie-%2Aupdate%2A-poor-baby-144276/

I think I have been crying off and on for a few hours now. It's just one of those things, you feel fine for awhile then you just break down.


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## gunslinger

I know you miss Indie....wish I could carry some of the burden you bear from the loss of her.....Breaks my heart.....you know Indie wouldn't want to see you cry.....

There's so much more ahead of you Hayley.....I wish I could tell you...but there's going to be good times and bad times as you grow....things that hurt but also times that bring great pleasure.........lots of dreams that can still come true.....just keep on dreaming....I know it's hard but try to look at what's ahead....great joy will soon come your way. .trust me on this, every things going to be alright.... 

So how are you and Roger getting along now?

Still working with him?

I don't think you ever said how you did on the math test.....you a rocket scientist yet?


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## Jore

Thank you, gunslinger.. that means a lot.

I haven't been to the barn in about a week and a half due to the weather. The roads were super icy on Tuesday, and since school got cancelled on Wednesday, lessons were cancelled as well. 

And no, definitely not a rocket scientist. I have gotten an 82 and 96 on my last two math tests, but my average still isn't satisfactory so I'm likely going to get a friend help me study for the exam. Seeing as how her average for the class is 95.


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## gunslinger

When you have a moment, google Mary Walker and spend a few minutes reading about the things she's endured over the last couple of years.

Look where she was in April 2011, then look where she is today.

It's a wonderful story and just shows what's possible when you get your mind right.

Where do you see yourself two years from now?


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## Jore

I'll have to google her once I get back from my aunt's this afternoon.

And I don't really know.. hopefully starting my first year of university, taking psychology courses. I'll keep my fingers crossed anyways.


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## Cacowgirl

Hi, Hayley-it saddens me that you are so down right now. Indie was a wonderful horse & you two were doing great as a team....but life happened & now you are so sad. I hope you continue w/your lessons & dream about loving another horse-maybe not right now, but someday. Praying that you find the peace you deserve. Know in your heart that Indie enjoyed her time w/you.


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## Jore

*December 24, 2012*

Somehow got convinced to go to the church service tonight. Coincidentally, someone I know from the 'horse side of things' came and sat in the pew with us. My mom had asked her if she was excited for Christmas and she said that she had opened quite a few of her presents up at her sisters and that most of it was horse stuff. I think my mom bought my new winter riding gloves and a new barn jacket... but had Indie still been here, I'd have been getting loads of horse stuff and I'd have been anxious to go spend my money at tack shops. So, needless to say, I had to sniff back a few years and I am doing so again as I type this.

Hopefully Indie will have a good Christmas up in Heaven.


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## Jore

Cacowgirl said:


> Hi, Hayley-it saddens me that you are so down right now. Indie was a wonderful horse & you two were doing great as a team....but life happened & now you are so sad. I hope you continue w/your lessons & dream about loving another horse-maybe not right now, but someday. Praying that you find the peace you deserve. Know in your heart that Indie enjoyed her time w/you.


I hope so.. I feel like quitting my lessons most of the time though.


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## gunslinger

What would Roger do without you?


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## Jore

Well.. probably just be ridden by my instructor and one of her adult students, since us three are the only ones who get to ride him. I don't think I'll quit since I need to keep learning so I'm ready for a *hopeful* OTTB in the spring/summer but some days (well, all), I just wish I could ride Indie one last time.

*December 25, 2012*

Merry Christmas everyone!

I admit, I'm pretty lucky to have the family I have.. because I'm relatively spoiled, to be honest. I have everything I need and got quite a few great things for Christmas.. although I just opened all the presents from my mom and one of my aunts today. I'm going with my dad tomorrow though, and my grandmother and honorary grandfather are coming up this afternoon.

I can't complain about anything, simply because I never asked for anything for Christmas. Indie was technically my gift from my dad, I basically had told him that if he bought me a horse, he'd never have to buy me anything again or even contribute to my wedding if I ever got married. So, realistically, the one thing I wanted for Christmas wasn't possible.

I got Beyond the Track by Anna Ford as well, and I'm really enjoying it so far. It seems to cover everything so I should be well prepared. I'm thinking that being started under saddle isn't a necessity for the horse since I can get my instructor's help (or the trainer who NBEventer told me about maybe since she does dressage). I think it'd be a really rewarding experience but I would have to be positive that the horse has a good temperament. We'd have to focus on groundwork for quite while too so that would be great for bonding. It'd be nice for Indie to be able to live on through another horse.

My ideal horse is basically a clone of Indie (except appearance). Sensible, enough attitude to keep me thinking, lots of potential, affectionate (enjoys being handled, or is at least not a complete grouch), good with other horses (although from what I understand, that is worked up to). Indie's ground manners weren't the best when she first arrived but she started respecting me after I corrected her over the course of a couple visits. She would always rub on me quite hard when I tried getting the bridle on and would never stand still for anything.

I also would want to do dressage and jumping, maybe working up to eventing as I eventually want to move to Ontario and I think that would give me lots of options.

I just hope Indie is having a great Christmas up there and knows that I still love her and miss her a lot. I always tell her I love her and miss her every night before bed so she should know it by now anyways. God only takes the best and that's the truth.


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## Jore

My mom also got me a new barn jacket (with the barn's logo on it) and instead of just putting my last name on the back, she put "Forever in My Heart" with Indie's name and November 21, 2012 written under it. Then my last name is above it. It was about time for a new jacket.. my old one was pretty scuffed up from all the use.


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## Cacowgirl

So glad to see you posting-your jacket sounds really neat. Losing a horse like Indie will take time to recover from,& she will always have a place in your heart. But that doesn't meant your heart can't take in another someday,but not until you're ready. Be patient-your grief is still raw & there is no timeline. Be kind to yourself. Sounds like your family is being supportive-hope you let them know they are appreciated for all their help through this tough time.
Healing prayers & a cyber hug coming your way.


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## Jore

Thank you.

I doubt I'm even going to be getting another horse until I'm out of university (whenever that is...). I found a super nice looking three year old mare for $1500 and all my mom could say was "still not quite as much as the vet bill your dad had to pay." Oh well, I'll just save up my money and get a horse anyways whether they support it or not. I'll go apply for a job once I get my license in February and then I'll be able to pay for everything anyways.


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## gunslinger

There's nothing stronger than a fathers love for his daughter except a mothers love for her son.


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## Jore

Yeah, although my dad isn't the best at showing it. We're too much alike so we don't get along very well, although we got along good when I had Indie.

I've decided to take a break from riding though. I just am not enjoying it like I should and going to lessons has become a chore. Maybe if I found a different instructor.. but hopefully I'll decide to go back before too long.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gunslinger

He's not? You said he bought you Indie.....right?

I've got two daughters about twice your age......Understand his job isn't to make you happy all the time and be your friend.....think about this a little.

When my dad died a few years ago, I lost a fellow that would tell me what he thought was best for me, and often not what I wanted to hear. He was a person who I knew would tell me the truth......because he had my best interest at heart.

Happiness doesn't come from things. If you read Mary Walkers story, what you become is simply up to what's between your ears. You decide to be happy, or not.


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## gunslinger

Por Vous

The Amazing Mary Walker « NFR Insider


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## Jore

I know that both my parents love me and want the best for me, my dad just isn't the one to express his love too well.. although him buying me Indie and him paying the vet for everything showed it, because I'd have figured he'd just have her put down instead since he usually thinks on the frugal side. I almost just wish the vet had been completely honest about what her chances were because I still feel bad about my dad spending so much.. plus if I had known what was going to happen, I'd have just had the vet euthanize her so that she could've died calmly with me petting her instead of her rearing up and toppling over...

My mom already said that she would buy me a new horse if she could commit to all those expenses, but I guess that vet visit made them all wary.. oh well, I'll have another horse some day perhaps. It just upsets me and makes me mad that out of all the horses in the world, God had to take Indie. To add onto that, my mom had to make me feel guilty about horseback riding in general, going on about how she was spending $7000/year on it but now I'm taking a break so she can spend her money no something else. Sometimes I feel like my life is just meant to suck but hopefully it'll get better eventually. 

And Mary Walker's story is inspiring, although I probably wouldn't have been able to do half as well for myself as she did and is still doing.


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## Jore

Here is a picture of Indie at her former home with a TB/Warmblood cross filly. I think this was back when Indie was truly in her prime, likely before her weight loss (which apparently started after she went on trial to the woman's friend.. maybe that's where she picked up the bacteria of the suspected infection?).










There is not a single day that goes by where I don't think of her many times.


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## gunslinger

Jore said:


> Sometimes I feel like my life is just meant to suck but hopefully it'll get better eventually.
> 
> And Mary Walker's story is inspiring, although I probably wouldn't have been able to do half as well for myself as she did and is still doing.


I'll give you a 100% money back guarantee that your life will get better if you give it a little time. 

Life's about the ups and the downs.....when things get the best is when it's time to worry, as unfortunately, you found out. No one is on top forever and as you move through the course of your life there's going to be some tragedy.....but there's also going to be some magic.....

Yea, it's bad about Indie.....If you want to sit on the side for awhile that's up to you, or I guess you can still work with Roger is you decided to?

Just keep a couple of things in mind .....quitters never win and winners never quit. Mary certainly had both mental and physical pain in her life.....I can tell it still hurts her deeply to talk about it and I cried along with her during her interview after she won the world Championship. She could have just as easily said "I'm done with it" and just sat down and gave up all hope of happiness and she had every reason to do just that.

The real problem with quitting is once you do it, quitting gets a lot easier to do the next time life gets tough......and I'll give you a 100% money back guarantee there will be some tough times again before you die of old age. 

Now's when you find out what you're really made of. Can you take lemons and make lemonaide? What is the content of your Character?

"It's up to you. It's what's between your ears that matters".


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## Jore

Well, I'm going to try to make lemonade out of lemons anyways, so to speak. I want to eventually move out and perhaps go live with my aunt and attend university up in Ontario. Mainly because a) housing would be cheaper if my aunt let me stay with her b) the university is pretty well-known/respected c) lots of dog/horse facilities d) might be nice to get a change of scenery from this small town! I'm kind of excited about it really.

And I found this lovely lady for $1 500 in Maryland..










She even has the same name as my dad's girlfriend, ironically. Three years old, 15.3hh (so will likely get to 16hh at least) and has a good personality. It never hurts to dream!


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## Cacowgirl

Yes, it's a good idea to see how others live-helps build tolerance & respect, hopefully. That looks like a very nice young mare, but she's pretty far from you,isn't she? I'll bet you could find some horses to ride in Ontario-are there any horses at the School? Your best job at this point is to build a strong foundation so you can have a bright future.Keep your dreams alive, but don't mortagage your future for them. The better rider you are-the more horses you may have a chance to ride.


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## Jore

Well, I figure if I can get myself a good education and find a good paying job.. then eventually I could probably afford a trip down through a bunch of racetracks and find a good prospect. Or even buy a Warmblood perhaps.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

I think I find myself wishing that Indie was still here at least a dozen times a day, and still struggle to hold back tears when I think about her. We went out to dinner with my aunt, uncle and great aunt today, and on our way there, I was just thinking about Indie and had to tip my head back so that the tears wouldn't fall down my face. She was one of a kind, that is for sure.


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## Jore

*December 30, 2012*

I don't think there is ever a day when I don't take a few minutes and think about how much I miss Indie. I know I only had her for two and a half months, but I had wanted a horse for years.. so it was almost like my love for her was amplified because of my long wait to even own a horse. But, someday, I will own another horse and _hopefully_ she will be at least half as great as Indie.

On the other hand, I think I am going to take the psychology specialist program at the University of Toronto. The only requirements I noted on the course was to take a high school calculus program (which I'm currently doing Pre-Calc but am starting actual calculus in grade 12) and to complete psychology courses listed on their websites. I guess I'll have to look more into the details once I'm closer to actually applying, but for now, I'll have to force myself to study and get good grades. If only I could commit myself to studying as easily as other things. :-|

Since I presumably have ADD and have medication for it, my mom sets up appointments with the psychologist every so often.. so maybe I can talk to her about it next time, as she is quite successful in the field. I just think being a psychologist would be pretty interesting.. and you have the potential for a really good salary if you work hard enough.


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## Jore

Screenshot of Indie after she won one of her races back in the day. In every single race, she'd always start at the back of the pack and then would pull to the front usually. She won her fair share of races but I'm thankful that she found her way to me.


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## Cacowgirl

She was magnificent-you were blessed to have her in your life. We all wish the best for you.


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## Jore

I was very blessed indeed.

A guy from my school made a status this morning on facebook, he was more into cattle penning and such but his first horse died today.. so I messaged him and just told him that I somewhat know what he's going through and that I was really sorry for his loss.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

Got a big flyer from Schneider's today.. with awesome coloured 1200D turnout blankets. I still manage to get excited about that stuff even though I no longer have a horse to buy for...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FrostedLilly

I read your posts, and I can feel what you're going through and it breaks my heart a little. Many people (aside from the ones on here!) don't understand the bond you build with a horse. It's not just an animal you ride, you're a team and you learn every little nuance and personality quirk from each other in order to be able to work together. All I can say is things will get better. I can understand if you don't want to ride for the next little while. I didn't either when my horse Sam died. It's really tough. Sam died 3 days before my high school graduation and so I was lucky in the sense that I moved out of home a few months later and started university and had something completely different to focus on. I was in a new city, new school and made new friends. Sometimes, but not always, a change of scenery can help. I always, and still to this day, keep a picture of Sam on my desk. Whenever I'm bogged down in an assignment, or stressed over finals, she's always there! Keep your chin up. Indie was lucky to have such a caring owner, even if it was for a short time. It sounds like you are making plans to go to post-secondary. If you don't mind my asking, what are you planning on taking?


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## gunslinger

Jore said:


> Got a big flyer from Schneider's today.. with awesome coloured 1200D turnout blankets. I still manage to get excited about that stuff even though I no longer have a horse to buy for...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Miss Lacy might like a turnout blanket....want me to measure her for you?

I mean......if the impulse hits you....

What was Indie's registerd name....I'd like to have a look at her pedigree....pretty neat she won a few races....

Happy New Year Haylee......the new year holds many secrets yet to be revealed......Hope 2013 turns out the way you want it too...Hugs girlfriend....


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## Jore

Glynnis said:


> I read your posts, and I can feel what you're going through and it breaks my heart a little. Many people (aside from the ones on here!) don't understand the bond you build with a horse. It's not just an animal you ride, you're a team and you learn every little nuance and personality quirk from each other in order to be able to work together. All I can say is things will get better. I can understand if you don't want to ride for the next little while. I didn't either when my horse Sam died. It's really tough. Sam died 3 days before my high school graduation and so I was lucky in the sense that I moved out of home a few months later and started university and had something completely different to focus on. I was in a new city, new school and made new friends. Sometimes, but not always, a change of scenery can help. I always, and still to this day, keep a picture of Sam on my desk. Whenever I'm bogged down in an assignment, or stressed over finals, she's always there! Keep your chin up. Indie was lucky to have such a caring owner, even if it was for a short time. It sounds like you are making plans to go to post-secondary. If you don't mind my asking, what are you planning on taking?


No, I don't think many people do. I know that my sister probably thought of her more as an object because when we had been talking about Christmas, all she could say was "Hayley shouldn't get much because she got a horse" which stung because I thought it was really insensitive since Indie had died.

I'm planning on doing psychology.. although I don't quite understand how university classes even out so I'll have to look more into it this coming year. I want to be a psychologist who deals with diagnostics instead of counselling, mainly because I don't know if I'd be a great counsellor or not. My mom is an itinerate for the school district and goes to counsel different students from different schools and pretty much every student she works with loves her... but I don't think I got that ability.  I just find psychology really interesting and could spend all day researching it.


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## Jore

gunslinger said:


> Miss Lacy might like a turnout blanket....want me to measure her for you?
> 
> I mean......if the impulse hits you....
> 
> What was Indie's registerd name....I'd like to have a look at her pedigree....pretty neat she won a few races....
> 
> Happy New Year Haylee......the new year holds many secrets yet to be revealed......Hope 2013 turns out the way you want it too...Hugs girlfriend....


Her registered name was Just Fine by Crafty Friend and Ceridwen. She was born March 18, 2002 in New York which was kind of cool.. and if you have a copy of her races at Fort Erie, you can still go on their website and watch all of them which is what I did back when I had her.

And Happy New Year to you too! Hopefully it's an improvement on last year, I'll be happy if I can get at least 80s in all my classes.. although I'm getting a 93 in Chemistry as of right now which is good.


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## Jore

This was taken October 21.. she was looking all bright eyed and bushy tailed as people would say..










It's crazy what a bit of TLC does for a horse. 

This was Indie and I's first time as an 'official pair' when she arrived at the barn, she got there in the early afternoon but my mom wouldn't let me leave school early so I was super excited to finally get down there. Laura wasn't pleased with how she arrived though.. lots of bug bites (which went down with antihistamine), a dull coat, skinny and her feet needed a trim and she had old, rusty shoes on her front feet.

http://sphotos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/402877_10151235464923109_512181212_n.jpg

You can see the bug bite reactions in this picture a bit. ^

http://sphotos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/402877_10151235464943109_990854295_n.jpg

Our _very_ first ride at the barn.. thank God for a new saddle though, that one fit me horribly and as she started gaining weight, didn't fit her well. There was such a difference when I got my new one on her.










October 13, 2012. She was one smart cookie, caught on quick.. so she always got lots of praise and neck rubs. Had learned a 'false frame' so we spent a lot of time driving her through it and teaching a proper bend, and we did a bit of long and low after she got more comfortable. She was always very light on the hands, legs.. just a sensitive horse, in a very good way.  






My position improved after that, mainly due to deserthorsewoman's advice on stirrups.  My hands also got more steady. You can see that she's not quite as curled though, which is what we were hoping for. This isn't our best ride though, that's for sure.






Her main issue at the canter was going forward, she liked being a bit short strided and going more 'up' with her movement instead of 'up and forward'. This was also before she started doing both leads consistently. She used to be very difficult to calm down after a canter.. it'd be a good five or more minutes of trotting before I could stop half halting as frequently. Her first canter in a group lesson was something to be reckoned with. I decided to make a kiss noise.. and she _ran_ off and took a long time to settle down. She also wasn't the easiest horse to canter in a 20m circle with two other horses, she got better though. 






I love this video.. mainly because there's more of a variety.. although she improved a lot from the video. I just miss her so much. :'( I can't help but cry watching the videos.


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## deserthorsewoman

Stirrup length was better, but I STILL see your lower leg too far back and clamping with your knees;-)
I would really like to see you on Roger, tho.....


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## Jore

These videos were before I had lowered them another hole, I really did make an effort after to keep my knees off of her and to keep my legs down instead of back. I have such a bad habit of bringing my legs too far back and my instructor always calls it out. Horseback riding is the sport of multitasking.

And I'll have to try and get a video sometime, although I haven't been able to find the charger for the phone battery yet.


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## deserthorsewoman

Work on one thing at a time. What really helps to get a feeling for "right" is schooling on the longe. You can concentrate on your seat without worrying about where your horse is going. And no-stirrup work. Very important for a correct seat!


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## FrostedLilly

Jore said:


> No, I don't think many people do. I know that my sister probably thought of her more as an object because when we had been talking about Christmas, all she could say was "Hayley shouldn't get much because she got a horse" which stung because I thought it was really insensitive since Indie had died.
> 
> I'm planning on doing psychology.. although I don't quite understand how university classes even out so I'll have to look more into it this coming year. I want to be a psychologist who deals with diagnostics instead of counselling, mainly because I don't know if I'd be a great counsellor or not. My mom is an itinerate for the school district and goes to counsel different students from different schools and pretty much every student she works with loves her... but I don't think I got that ability.  I just find psychology really interesting and could spend all day researching it.


Sibling rivalry never fails. I'm going to assume your sister is younger than you and just doesn't have the age or maturity to understand yet. Like anything, it's tough to really sympathize when you haven't experienced the same thing yourself. I wouldn't let it bother you too much. 

I too find psychology fascinating. I've enjoyed every single class I've taken in the social sciences and hopefully you'll find the same thing when you go to university. Hope you had a good New Year!


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## Jore

She's about a year and a half younger, so 15, but I expect it from her. 

And everyone has told me it is, so hopefully I enjoy it! My mom has her Masters in counselling psychology and a lifeguard at the pool (I was the youngest working, most are 20) said she took the same psychology course twice because she found it so interesting.

And deserthorsewoman, I'll have to try the no stirrup work once I'm completely confident that Roger won't spazz. He tends to crow hop, etc when you touch his sides too much. I never say we had a good ride until I get off, just incase I jinx it!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

Ahaaaaaaa...."when you touch his sides too much".....see what I mean?
I remember very well when I had earned spurs( yes, we had to earn them, having a quiet seat and leg), I was so scared I would set the horse off, I kept my legs in perfect position lol. It was a very impressive ride, the "dull" school horse turned into a ballerina. So quirky Roger might just be the right one to teach you;-)


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## Corazon Lock

Jore,
I just want to say that your posts inspire me. How much you loved Indie and everything...

My horse injured himself right before Thanksgiving. It was a freak accident - a wind storm hit and the trampoline in our backyard flew into the paddock. We think Rusty tried to jump the fence and ended up falling backwards.

The vet said he fractured his lateral malleolus, and I wouldn't be able to ride him ever again probably. I was depressed for a week and in denial. I still have trouble accepting it.

Why am I telling you this? Because you make me realize how lucky I am to still even have Rusty. He's still out in the pasture, herding his pasturemate around and being a complete doofus. 

You made Indie become beautiful. She's so cute!  I know it's hard - for those first few days, I wasn't sure if I ever even wanted to ride again. It's hard moving forward, I know. I kept thinking about how Rusty's trot felt, and how he jumped and we'd hang in the air forever....he was a brat, but he took care of me. He'd never refuse a fence, and I could almost completely trust him. No bucks, and I could drop my reins and he'd walk on and never act dippy. Heck, I could drop my reins at the trot and work on balance exercises and he was perfect! 

But now, I've grown to accept the fact that Rusty is probably done for. I am getting a second opinion, but after that, I'm looking forward. And I know you will too. Keep riding. It will give you the experience you need when you get another horse. And I think getting to know other horses might help you heal. Take one day at a time. You were so passionate about Indie - I know there's other horses out there deserving of your passion.


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## gunslinger

Jore said:


> And deserthorsewoman, I'll have to try the no stirrup work once I'm completely confident that Roger won't spazz. He tends to crow hop, etc when you touch his sides too much. I never say we had a good ride until I get off, just incase I jinx it!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_



So you're still going to work with Roger?


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## Jore

Corazon Lock said:


> Jore,
> I just want to say that your posts inspire me. How much you loved Indie and everything...
> 
> My horse injured himself right before Thanksgiving. It was a freak accident - a wind storm hit and the trampoline in our backyard flew into the paddock. We think Rusty tried to jump the fence and ended up falling backwards.
> 
> The vet said he fractured his lateral malleolus, and I wouldn't be able to ride him ever again probably. I was depressed for a week and in denial. I still have trouble accepting it.
> 
> Why am I telling you this? Because you make me realize how lucky I am to still even have Rusty. He's still out in the pasture, herding his pasturemate around and being a complete doofus.
> 
> You made Indie become beautiful. She's so cute!  I know it's hard - for those first few days, I wasn't sure if I ever even wanted to ride again. It's hard moving forward, I know. I kept thinking about how Rusty's trot felt, and how he jumped and we'd hang in the air forever....he was a brat, but he took care of me. He'd never refuse a fence, and I could almost completely trust him. No bucks, and I could drop my reins and he'd walk on and never act dippy. Heck, I could drop my reins at the trot and work on balance exercises and he was perfect!
> 
> But now, I've grown to accept the fact that Rusty is probably done for. I am getting a second opinion, but after that, I'm looking forward. And I know you will too. Keep riding. It will give you the experience you need when you get another horse. And I think getting to know other horses might help you heal. Take one day at a time. You were so passionate about Indie - I know there's other horses out there deserving of your passion.


I'm really sorry about Rusty, but I know now, that I'd have considered myself lucky to still have Indie even as just a pasture puff. I still miss her so much, but it goes to show how much in life we take for granted. I always just assumed that me and Indie would be riding out on trails this spring and maybe going to a local show for fun, and then ten years from now, who would've known where we'd be. I was looking ahead and was _so_ excited about it.

And Gunslinger, yes, I'm still working with Roger. He pulled a shoe so my instructor is waiting for the farrier to come down. This one is farther away though as she recently switched because she was unhappy with the other farrier's job on Roger's feet. She told my mom that I'm welcome to come down every single day if I want to, and help out with chores, exercise the horses (even Hemi if I wanted).. she just wants me to get involved again with horses because she says that I finally reached that level of total commitment.

I was a bit offended when she said this today though, "You only had her two and a half months, so you don't need to be dramatic about it." I know she didn't mean for it to sound that way, but it hurt because I'm not being 'dramatic' about it. Indie was really special to me, and as I get to know myself better, I know that I form an attachment very quickly to people/things/etc. Indie was that once in a lifetime horse and I felt like we had a strong bond from the get go.


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## Cacowgirl

Oh Hayley, I don't believe she meant it in an unkind way. It's just that she's been around horses a lot, & may see them differently because of her experiences-boarding, training, showing. Horses become something other than a main passion, when they become business. I'm glad you are still working w/Roger, & I do hope you will take advantage of the offer to do more w/the other horses, too.


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## deserthorsewoman

I second what Cacowgirl said. 
Riding as many horses as possible gives you experience. And experience nobody can take from you.


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## Corazon Lock

Some people heal faster than others. You are allowed to grieve as long as it takes - there is no one that can set a timetable for you. Just remember that. 

I feel fortunate every day that Rusty is still out in my pasture. I wish you could have that with Indie. She was fortunate to have you in her life, and from the sounds of it, vice versa. 

I think riding other horses will help you overcome your loss. You will always have a special place for Indie in your heart, no doubt. And as for your instructor, from what you've said about her in different threads and posts, it just sounds like she isn't a "people" person. If that continues to bother you, I would look into a fresh start at a different barn.


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## Jore

I'm definitely going to keep riding, although there isn't a single horse at the barn who I can think of that I enjoy half as much as I enjoyed Indie.

According to the barn's facebook page, my instructor wants to bring in a dressage instructor to teach a lesson so she told anyone interested to message her. Too bad I still didn't have Indie or else I'd be super excited.


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## BarrelBunny

I will admit that I have been stalking this thread for awhile now. It pains me deeply that you, or anyone, would have to go through that much pain. I will also admit that when I read about Indie passing, I cried and cried. I ran out and sat with my horse in the pouring rain and prayed for you. I felt awful, and I'm sure you felt even worse. It is unfair that she was taken from you, but I agree: only the best are taken. 

I have not replied to the thread yet because I have been unsure what to say. I have never endured such a loss; I do not know what it feels like, nor will I ever wish to know, however it is inevitable unless you live under a rock and refuse to come out..

I am extremely glad that you are still riding. I honestly think that if you get closer with Roger, a side of him will pop out that you would have never guessed was inside of him. I think he acts like a bully because he wants attention and if you work with him consistently he will begin to trust you and bond with you. When that happens, the rudeness will go away, kind of like a shell. He's used to many people riding him. Maybe he is just a one person kind of a horse - like mine. I believe you could make Roger work, at least until you are ready and are able to get another horse. I bet you could learn a lot from him, too. But, again, that's just what I think.

That is great that a dressage instructor is going to the barn! The thing is - you still can be excited about it! Don't throw away opportunities to do things in life because you feel like you are letting Indie down or because she isn't there to share the moment with you. The truth is she will always be there with you - in your heart. At the end of the day though, it is always going to be your decision on what you do. Whatever that may be, I'm sure Indie will support you from horsey heaven. 

Sorry for the novel. I am tremendously sorry for your loss. *hugs*


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## Jore

Thank you for the kind words, they really mean a lot. 
I'm going to try my best not to pass up on opportunities, I just wish Indie was here with me.

I know that a lot of people think that because I only had Indie for two and a half months, I should probably be over it now.. the non-horsey people anyways. In the eight years I've been riding, never had I had so much fun with a horse. I had leased Major for nearly two years yet I had an even stronger bond with Indie. 

I still miss her everyday, and often hold myself back from crying during a lesson. It sounds ridiculous but my mind always wanders and I ponder what Indie and I's progress would've been. Like today, I was stuck with Major (who is shorter and chubbier than I remembered) and we were doing pole work, etc.. but all I could think was that Indie and I could've gone over the course perfectly. We were a _team_, just in sync.. you know? In the saddle, you forgot all your worries.. it's just you and your horse. But that was a feeling I only got with Indie. I hope to find another horse one day with whom I can forge such a bond with. There's few things I wouldn't do if I could bring her back.

I actually had a dream that she came back to life a few nights ago. It was strange. She just came back to life and everyone was so casual.. saying it was a miracle, etc. But in the dream, I was so careful because I didn't want her to die again. It was nice to see her again though, even if it was only a dream.

I never really thought too much of spirits, ghosts, etc until her death. But on Saturday, when I had my make up lesson.. Thor, my instructor's dog was standing in Indie's stall. He was just staring at the straw.. it lasted at least five minutes after I noticed him there. 

I brought Indie's blankets home tonight as well. I still sleep with her cooler on my bed. The blankets are still in the car, simply because my hands were full. I also brought home her cribbing collar, fly mask and spare halter. I have her water bucket, shoes and the strand of her tail in my closet.. because the cats were pulling the hair out of the elastic. They're so lucky I caught them before they ruined it or I would have been fuming. I still want a horsehair bracelet made but I want to save up money for a nice one. But that all set aside, I brought the blankets and stuff home because I couldn't stand to watch it collect dust in front of her stall. I always dusted it off but still.

I don't know if I'll ever sell any of the tack.. I feel like it's just a part of her. Laura got me to ride Major with Indie's saddle tonight and it sort of made me mad in a way. I don't know why but maybe just because she was the last to wear it which came with a menagerie of memories?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## BarrelBunny

You are very welcome.

I understand that completely. A horse is certainly not a dog or a picture or even a car. Horses are so much more. When you have a bond as deeply as you had with Indie, you will never forget it. Ever. You can take as long as you need to get over it. You may never get over it. Nobody blames you, except for maybe those who don't understand. That's not a fault of yours. 

I think it's perfectly fine that your mind wanders back to Indie. I know that it's different, but when I am riding another horse, I often compare them to my Big Daddy. It's just never the same. With him, I feel like I can do whatever I want and never have to worry. I'm sure you will find another that you can form a strong bond with. I bonded very deeply with two mares before my gelding. I'm not sure I would describe them as heart horses, but I was still close with them.

That's nice that you got to see her, even if it was in a dream. I do believe in spirits and ghosts. Maybe that was Indie in her stall? Sometimes I feel like I can _see_ our Jack Russell that died a few years back. If I glance around the room, sometimes I'll see him out of the corner of my eye. When I look back, he's gone. It's very odd, but I think it's him. Maybe it's just me seeing things, but I rarely think of him anymore.

I don't blame you bringing her stuff home. I wouldn't sell it either. All of that stuff _is_ special - it was hers. I hope you can get a good bracelet made; it would be really beautiful. 

I would have felt the same way, riding another horse in Indie's tack. I think it is partly because she was the last horse you rode in it, but also because of the memories and the fact that you got it for her. At the same time, it is your saddle. It probably fits you the best out of all of the saddles there, which may have been her reasoning. (an assumption on my part.)


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## Jore

Well, I rode Roger today for the first time since he pulled a shoe. He hadn't been ridden in two days (which considering he is a horse who needs to be worked everyday.. wasn't good) so to say the least, he gave a bit of attitude. Okay, a lot.

He started out good although he was irritable in his stall and I had to shove him around a lot.. and before mounting up in the arena. 

Then, we did canterwork. I don't know what I did to tick him off but he threw a fifteen minute long temper tantrum. My instructor said he does it to her and her adult student sometimes, and she thinks it's because of his past. She bought him at an auction after he was a lesson horse for awhile, and she thinks they really skimped on his flatwork, etc.

I admit, I was so nervous during his whole tantrum.. I was almost praying that my instructor would come get on him! She called me down towards her (I was hoping she'd lunge him) and just handed me a dressage whip. I got a little anxious, to be honest. But, I think I needed to be "pushed off the high dive" so to speak in order to become a more confident rider. So I ended up riding it out (bucks, sidesteps, head throwing and all) until we finally got a good canter. Then we just walked and cooled off since he _finally_ gave me what I wanted after I worked the attitude right out of him.

Today, my mom said that (although referring to something else) people need to force themselves to take the first few steps and then they'll start wanting to do it, instead of forcing themselves. Maybe I just need to force myself to go to the barn for my lessons and help out, although likely when the weather is better.

I'm also thinking that I will attend a university in New Brunswick for my first year (one that leads in psychology) so that I'll be able to get home/to the barn more regularly as well. I think I still want an OTTB so I'll likely save up over this summer and approach the subject with my parents after I've spent the summer working and helping out at the barn.

I think I'll always miss Indie but like everyone has told me, she would want me to love another horse like I loved her, and always will. There still isn't anything I wouldn't do to have her back and she'll likely always be a part of me, but I want to eventually have another horse I can have such a bond with. I also finally realized what her show name would have been this summer, "Once Upon a Dream".


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## gunslinger

Now what would Roger do without you? See, he really does need you to work with him doesn't he? Did you give him half an apple when you finished? My guess is he just want's someone to appreciate him too....

I think your plan of approaching you parents a little later about another horse is a good one.....let a little water flow under the bridge so to speak.....time for your mothers heart to heal a little to....yep, because you hurt, she hurts too....that's the way mothers are.....true love plain and simple.....you sound a little happier today....a little more up beat....I think Roger being a challenge is good for you.....

Don't worry, you've got a lot of dreams yet to come true.....maybe not all of them, but dream large anyway.


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## deserthorsewoman

Roger is sooooo like my Rudy was.....unbelievable! We had days when riding I felt that if someone would drop as much as a feather he would explode with me ending up stuck to the rafters of the indoor, seriously
I do think I know what triggered his tantrum, and I told you already. More often than not horses like him and my Rudy look for a reason. So, next time pay attention to the position of your lower legs;-) . You will see a rather mad Roger who couldn't find a reason to "play", which you can easily see in his expression and will set you off laughing. 
The Rogers and Rudys are not easy to love, but easy to appreciate after a while, because they teach a lot. 
You'll eventually have THE good ride with him and it will give you an enormous boost. I've been there.


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## Jore

Gunslinger, I did feel a little more upbeat when I got home.. I even made a plan for the summer while I was in a good mood. I should've brought an apple but I was in a rush heading to the barn. Hopefully at least a few dreams come true eventually, if not all.

And deserthorsewoman, that's exactly how I felt. Normally Laura just tells me to kiss (which normally he canters off) but instead she told me to just use a little bit of leg. On went the attitude switch. I didn't even think I really touched him, but he's thin skinned so I'll have to be more conscientous from now on. He went from not wanting to go forward to bucking. As soon as he did his frustrated teeth grinding (aka seal imitation).. I just knew what was coming. He was just in an abnormally bad mood today, even for him, I think. 

I agree about him finding a reason to be mad.. he gets mad over the littlest things. Hence why vets and farriers are never fond of him, and hence why I get so nervous sometimes about riding him. It'll improve my riding though, working with him.

I guess I should probably feel like a half decent rider for Laura even letting me ride him since I'm one of only two students who do. (the other being a pretty talented adult rider who is Laura's age)
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Jore

I just wanted to thank everyone, and I wanted to thank Indie for giving me the best two and a half months of my life. The strangest things remind me of her so there's times in class where I have to think of other things instead. I just hope they were her best two and a half months too.

And I was being a snoop when I visited my dad and I found the vet report for the leg visit. It had written "possible suspected cellulitis" and he had prescribed an antibiotic as a precaution. Needless to say, I was ****ed that nobody even told me about that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

So we were right? Wait, let me rephrase that...si we were possibly right?;-)


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## Jore

It appears that way, although once I confronted my mom about it, she said that the antibiotics were only a precaution. But, on the vet report, it said her temperature was slightly elevated.....

And I'm going to start forcing myself to go to the barn on the weekends, pending if I have homework or not to do, and will try helping out with barn chores and maybe exercise horses for Laura. I think I do want to get an OTTB this summer/fall, but likely a 2008/2009 mare and work on ground work for an extended period of time.. then when I go off to university, and potentially find a barn that will allow me to work off some of board. Or, if I go to Toronto and live with my aunt, she has a friend who has horses so that could maybe work out. My dad was thinking about us going up and visiting this summer and said we could perhaps go riding at her friend's.

I thought maybe waiting until after university was done for a horse, but I just don't think it's even possible. Plus, if I stayed in New Brunswick for university, I could easily get down on weekends. Another rider at the barn went to university in NS and still made it down on long weekends. (apparently she loved the barn's farrier too much and although she tried moving the horse closer to her university, she preferred his work so brought him back)

So, I think I'm going to end up looking for a mare with a more uphill build and likely three to four years old. I'd have to ask for videos and everything but perhaps we could even make a road trip out of it or something. Hopefully I'll pick up lots of hours at the pool this summer and I'll be able to cover the whole cost of the horse and maybe even the PPE and shipping. Then, if I do chores on weekends, I could work off a decent amount of board.


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## Cacowgirl

Glad to hear you're looking forward, have some alternate plans in mind for your future horse life. Take your time-as the next few years will have a lot of transitions & lots of decisions yet to make. Please keep us posted-manyof us here care a lot about you.


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## Jore

Thanks, Cacowgirl! I will definitely keep everyone posted. I really want to buy a young OTTB mare this fall because that way, she'll get a couple more years of groundwork before even having anyone riding her which would be easier when I went off to university if I kept the horse at the barn. But my parents probably wouldn't let me get another horse anyways so it likely won't happen.

And the girl I ride with found a horse apparently, I don't know what breed though.. probably a grade or QH. His name is William though which made me laugh since I know a Will.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gunslinger

Jore;1861502. But my parents probably wouldn't let me get another horse anyways so it likely won't happen.
[SIZE=1 said:


> _Posted via Mobile Device_[/SIZE]


I know it seems like a long time, but you'll be through school and making good money before you know it. So have patience my dear....patience......

Frankly, the older I get the faster the time seems to go by.......but I do remember that getting old enough to drive took what seemed like forever..

That said, the older I get the more I enjoy my horses......seems I've finally worked my way to a point in life where I can enjoy having weekends off, not to much in the way of bills, and a little jingle left over to trailer the horses and ride most every weekend.

You'll be there too.....just try to enjoy the trip along the way.....live life with as few regrets as possible and be patient, good things take a little time....and often, the best things in life require a little effort as well.

You know what you want.....now work hard and go get it.


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## Jore

Thank you, gunslinger.

My dad did say that some day, he'd help me buy another horse but for now, he wants me to focus on school... so I will. Afterall, I'll need a good education if I want a good job so that I'll have lots of doors open in terms of what I want to do in life. 

It's crazy though, how much you can miss someone who you only knew for such a short time. I am looking through pictures and still have tears streaming down my face. I still have yet to get a horse hair bracelet done but I will have to start looking into it more. 

I have a few pictures I already posted probably but I'm going to share them again when they're uploaded. I have a few friends coming over for a late birthday get-together type deal so I didn't have too much time to go through them all.


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## Jore

Our first ride:


















(complete with an embarrassingly dumb and happy expression)

Went from being high-headed and a bit "pulley" on the reins to very soft... but quite "over-curled" at the neck...










However, she was coming along...










I went from making excuses for all her little antics to laughing about them and loving her for each and every one of them. I remember my instructor joking about how I was going to walk to the pasture one day in the coming winter and discover Indie's tongue stuck to the round bale feeder because she was cribbing on it. I can remember just how much I trusted her and how much she meant and continues to mean to me.


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## gunslinger

Jore said:


> Thank you, gunslinger.
> 
> My dad did say that some day, he'd help me buy another horse but for now, he wants me to focus on school... so I will. Afterall, I'll need a good education if I want a good job so that I'll have lots of doors open in terms of what I want to do in life.
> 
> It's crazy though, how much you can miss someone who you only knew for such a short time.


No, not crazy...these danged big animals can sure work there way into our hearts very quickly. Life isn't just about the good times unfortunately....and all of us have to deal with our own tragedy. These are the things that forms us....that makes us who we are....the content of our character....how we learn compassion for others has a lot to do with the pain we've endured ourselves.

You loved a lot....now you hurt....a lot.....that's the price we pay for the relationships we create.

So tell me....is Roger starting to look forward to you showing up yet? Are you taking him apples? Roger is who he is for many of the same reasons I suppose. Don't let your heart become hard because of the grief you've had.....You've got much to look forward to...and I suspect a few more broken hearts as well.....such is life.


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## Jore

No, he doesn't seem to anyways... he's actually been giving me more attitude than usual lately, but maybe that's because he wasn't ridden as much last week. I usually forget about an apple since we're always rushing because of my sister's cheer practices.


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## gunslinger

Jore said:


> No, he doesn't seem to anyways... he's actually been giving me more attitude than usual lately, but maybe that's because he wasn't ridden as much last week. I usually forget about an apple since we're always rushing because of my sister's cheer practices.


What? No apple? Roger wants to feel special too!


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## Jore

Maybe I'll have to just start packing them in advance so I can just grab one quickly. He's definitely special alright, and likes to keep me on my toes... but I guess that's a good thing, it'll give me more experience for the day when I get another horse to call my own. He has his days when he's alright as well, last ride must've just been a bad day because he was much more cranky than usual and the ride before that, he didn't even flinch when I brushed him off. In fact, I stood there for a good five minutes just brushing his face. He doesn't get into it like Indie did but I was pleasantly surprised that he didn't pin his ears, at least not until I accidentally went in the wrong direction. 

And on another note, I finally found someone to do the tail hair bracelet. I'm just getting a simple braided one but I'm going to get a single turquoise glass bead on it, and she said she'd be able to send the excess hair back if there was any. I also printed off a picture of Indie and I's first day together to hang on my wall. I love it, we were walking away from the camera and we were both lifting our feet at the same time, her left rear was kicking dust the same time as my left foot so it is a cool little detail. Then you can just see her ears perked forward and how I'm glancing kind of sideways at her. I edited it slightly just to add more saturation and to emphasize the turquoise of her polo wraps.


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## Jore

So, last night for my lesson, I rode Major... apparently Roger was in an absolutely terrible mood and had already bucked Laura off that day. I didn't doubt it either, he started doing his angry teeth grinding as soon as I opened the stall door so good thing I was told before I started getting him ready. I was in need of a more relaxing ride anyways. Major had already been ridden that day but my instructor said he was going horribly then, so she was happy I got him going so well. I have to admit, despite not getting regular work, he was going pretty good... but got a bit grouchy when I started leg yielding him at the canter. He could throw a fit all he wanted but it doesn't hurt too bad falling off of him if I even did... although he could be mistaken for a rodeo horse on the lunge. I was lungeing him one time, and a search & rescue team was at the end of the arena (people had been hearing noises coming from the river and my instructor was the one to call it in)... since it was winter and I hadn't been done for a couple days, Major decided to throw buck after buck and at times, was completely off the ground. People were asking my instructor if he was just being trained and they seemed shocked when she said I show him in the summer and we do quite well.

The girl I ride with got her horse. A 13 year old Thoroughbred. I can't help but wonder why in the world my instructor let her get a Thoroughbred (since she was the one who told me that Thoroughbreds aren't for first time owners.. and this girl is relatively new to riding anyways)... but oh well. The horse seemed like a bit too much to handle at times, but I'm just going to pray that Laura hops on him every now and again just so that his training stays up to par. I'll be honest and say that I am slightly jealous, not because of the horse specifically but because she even has a horse and he probably won't be taken away from her. She said she's taking a year off school this year and going to community college... so I guess she has time for all that. I'll just wait until I have a job and can afford to board at a super nice barn with a super nice trainer who would help me train my new horse to compete at lower level (maybe higher) dressage or even eventing. I wish I could get a horse sooner though. :-(

Life just isn't fair, that's all there is to it.


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## gunslinger

Envy is one of the seven deadly sins.......just saying.....so try to be happy for her....

Now, think about poor ole Roger.....every time someone shows up he has to go to work....Maybe you should feed him a slice of apple...even if he doesn't work.....just because.

He might be happier to see you next time.....

As far as Roger....you have to like him first...before he'll like you, or so it seems to me.

Always practice random acts of kindness......and not just with horses....people will love you for it too....


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## deserthorsewoman

I agree with GS here. Poor Roger is certainly not the happiest horse right now. And apparently nobody has time or interest in finding out why. So that random apple just might make his day....don't expect him to be all sweet with you for it....he will be just less grouchy;-)


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## gunslinger

deserthorsewoman said:


> I agree with GS here. Poor Roger is certainly not the happiest horse right now. And apparently nobody has time or interest in finding out why. So that random apple just might make his day....don't expect him to be all sweet with you for it....he will be just less grouchy;-)


Exactly...IMO Roger's probably had his heart broken so many times he's not willing to love anyone again....because he doesn't want his heart broken again......such is the life of a lesson horse.....some adapt, and some don't. 

The easy things in life usually don't bring near as much satisfaction as the challenges....anyone can ride an easy horse.....the trick, as I see it, would be to get Rodger where he wants you to ride him.

I'd also suggest grooming him even though you're not going to ride him....and think there's much to be gained by working with Roger.

Now I also want to warn you....he just might steal your heart too....


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## FrostedLilly

Totally agree. Just remember that with Indie, you spent time doing things with her that weren't just riding. Roger could probably use a little extra too. 

It's kind of hard to begin with though. I've been riding a "difficult" mare in lessons. The first time I brought her into the barn, she started sweating in the tie stall and was an absolute terror to handle. The last few months, I've been showing up really early for my lesson and just taking that little bit of extra time to groom, scratch, talk, etc. Last night, when I walked away to change into my boots, she whinnied after me and wouldn't stop pawing until I came back. This horse used to try and run me over repeatedly the first few times I went to catch her. To say I was surprised was an understatement.

Give Roger a chance - he might surprise you. And since it looks like he's going to be the guy you're dealing with for the next while, you may as well try and make it as pleasant as possible!


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## Jore

I know, I am really happy for her. I've congratulated her, wished her luck, said he was adorable, and I meant it. But as much as I know it's horrible and that nobody might understand where I'm coming from, I'm also horribly jealous. I know life isn't fair, nor will it ever be, but I just feel like what happened wasn't fair in the slightest. It was the most traumatic thing I'll probably ever experience and it upsets me that we're not going to be able to go to our first show together, or walk through the field in the summer breeze, or just chill out in the pasture, or that I don't have an excuse anymore to buy a bunch of horse stuff.

I'm planning on volunteering at the barn a lot more when the weather is nicer, and part of that will be working with Roger. Groundwork, grooming, riding, the whole bit. I'd likely be working with Major as well, although I might focus more on Roger because by riding a horse of his "caliber" so to speak, that will improve my own skills/knowledge so that when I'm in the position to own another horse, I will be more than ready and will be able to put solid training into the horse with the help of a well-qualified trainer.

And I'm always doing the "little acts of kindness", the one comment I always get from people is how outgoing and friendly I am. I'm not one to judge, because I've been there and it's not great at all. Nobody is perfect to begin with, and I'm far from it, but I'm incredibly impulsive and sensitive... which is probably where the jealousy comes from. I remember back when I was ten, I was so jealous when the other girl I rode with got her own horse. Six years later, I finally got my own and she was the best. I can't help but still feel bitter/sad/upset/mad about it when it crosses my mind, even though I try not to.


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## gunslinger

Jore said:


> It was the most traumatic thing I'll probably ever experience


Unfortunately, probably not.

Lost my mother in 83, my father in 93, my son in 2005.  

You have many things to experience before you grow old. Trust me, there are going to be things that are going to make you so happy, and others that are going to tear at your soul, Indie is just the first, but there will be others I'm sorry to say.

Such are the ways of the world. Live not for the things that are of this world. Live in the spirit. Things of the world do not last.


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## Jore

I try not to even think of those things, I always cry if I do. My mom lost her mom when she was 22 and lost her dad not too long after... so my mom often goes on about how she'll be lucky to live until 65, but I always tell her she needs to live to be 100. 

That's very true though, but I do hope I get a bit of a break between the horrible things... if anything. There was a girl a few years back who died after her horse accidentally ran over her after a jump when she fell forward onto the ground. A lot of shows have a memorial class, and after the clinic this summer, her mom gave a heartwarming speech. Her mom boards at my barn but I never knew the girl. I was almost embarrassed when tears started building up, but when I think of that, I remember how much worse other people have it and if they can overcome it, so can I.

If only immortality was a reality.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gunslinger

We all have our own cross to bear. Speaking of happier days, Saturdays are your riding days aren't they? Did you ride Roger today?


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## Jore

The Saturday was just a makeup day because there had been a storm on Wednesday so the lesson was cancelled. I go tomorrow and Wednesday though and I'll be riding Roger unless he is in another bad mood. But, maybe on Wednesday, I could ask for a lesson on lungeing/groundwork with him so that if I came down on the weekend, I'd be more comfortable with it. I get more comfortable riding him each time though, although at times, I still get kind of nervous. I'm still getting used to his personality. With Indie, her response to too much leg was go faster (although we fixed that with time) instead of kick out and grind her teeth like Roger. He'll learn though. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## deserthorsewoman

He's telling you what I keep telling you, girl......I'm not half as straight forward as he is, tho;-)


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## Jore

I took everyone's advice and brought Roger a carrot (we didn't have any apples). We ended up having a barn lesson but I gave it to him anyways after telling him that it was my attempt at bribery.  Before our lesson, we all groomed Zoey, the pasture pony who was in some major need of TLC. We braided up her tail and I braided her forelock, trimmed a bridle path and trimmed up her mane. She looked _so_ much better!

Also, does anyone believe in spirits and meanings behind dreams?

Indie was in the last part of my dream last night. I was at the barn with friends and Indie had recently died, but when I peeked into the very last stall on the right... there she was. But, honestly, she almost looked like a zombie horse. She had two stall bandages on and was super underweight, and just looked so sickly. I told my mom to call the vet because I knew she needed to be put down and that's what would be best for her.

Before the vet came, I brought her out and fed her mushed apples/carrots and walked her around. Weirdly enough, when I looked back in the dream, she looked perfect. Shiny chestnut coat, healthy weight and alert eyes. Before I woke up from the dream, the vet had arrived and we were going to talk about what was best for her.

I feel like I've just been carrying so much regret and guilt over that night. I feel guilty about not bringing her an apple, I feel guilty about hoping she'd make it and not making the decision of putting her down to save her from the panic as she reared up and toppled over, I feel so guilty about just hoping she'd make it because if I knew what would've happened, I'd have handled the situation so differently. I'd have gotten my mom to wipe her nose while I groomed her one last time, gave her an apple and just hugged her once more. And I'd have sat there with her as the vet put her down, because I feel like it would've been much more calm without the panic and shock of rearing up and her legs giving out like that.

I wonder if animal psychics are the real deal though... I'd love to some day talk or meet with one, just to hear that Indie knew I loved her and that she forgives me.


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## Copperhead

Oh, honey. I am so sorry. I have been away for the last couple months and had no idea Indie was gone. I thought about her frequently though since she was a favorite horse of mine on this forum. Out of all the journals, I only read Indie's.

I tried looking around to see exactly what happened but I haven't found a thread yet that explained how she went (unless I am missing something...which I probably am). 

She was such a special horse. I could feel it all the way over here on my side of the screen and I celebrated every progression and rooted for you two. I'm devistated that she is no longer with us.

I don't know what happened, but I can tell you my idea about your dream. In your dream, Indie was ill and you found her and showed her a kindness. She thanks you for that and is very happy to have been your horse. Zombie horse turning into a beautiful horse after a treat from your hand is a transformation for good because you showed her love.

That dream tells me that she hasn't forgotten you and she wants you to feel better about what happened. She's not hurting anymore (zombie transformed into beauty) and she is still with you.

It also sends another message. She was a zombie horse when you got there. You looked back after giving her a treat and leading her, and she was beautiful. She's telling you that YOU were the key factor in bringing her life when you were around her, and that she trusted you fully in knowing what was best for her. When she was around you, she was her true beautiful self and you saw that beauty, regardless of what anyone else said about her.

Please don't feel too guilty. We never know what will happen in life and often have regrets over not doing something differently when we couldn't have known the outcome. 

I believe animal psychics are real. If it gives you any peace of mind, it would be worth looking into.


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## Jore

Thank you so much for your reply, Copperhead, it truly does mean a lot. I appreciate all the support and advice I have gotten here more than words can describe.

The analysis of my dream brought more than a few tears to my eyes. I know my instructor told me she was incredibly proud of how well I took care of her and said I gave Indie the best few months of her life, which I hope I did, because when it comes down to it... she was going to die that night no matter where she was, and I'm glad she spent those months being loved unconditionally rather than just sitting in a muddy, grass-less pasture.

As for what happened to her, here is the thread I posted before heading to the barn after going to my lesson to find her on IV fluids getting her nose wiped from the blood:

http://www.horseforum.com/horse-health/please-pray-indie-*update*-poor-baby-144276/

She really was so special, and I can't emphasize that enough when I talk about her. Sometimes I bring her up at lessons but usually it's just a small thing and I stop before the water works start. There was just so much trust. I'm sure had we waited for spring and for her to put even more weight on, she'd have been more energetic... but she was _so_ quiet, and even after her week off following a leg injury, I felt completely safe getting on her and walking/trotting her around. On any other horse, I'd have insisted on lungeing them just in case, considering the horses were no longer outside 24/7.

I guess it was almost ironic in a way, I was so upset over her leg... and after people started suggesting cellulitis, I was completely freaking out. But in retrospect, I would've taken anything over what happened. Even if she was only able to be a pasture ornament, I'd still have been happy although I know I would've been upset.

I think in general, the comforts outweight the regrets, because I know I did my best to take care of her. I was down there at least four to five days a week, I spent usually five to six hours each Saturday/Sunday riding/grooming/doing a "spa" session with the full forelock/tail braiding and trimming, etc. I spent the week leading up to her death at the barn, wrapping her legs and cold hosing them and making sure she had a whole big bunch of hay to eat for when I left an hour or so later. I always fed her half an apple after a ride, and I always rewarded her for the simplest little things. (stand still for the farrier = apple, pick up correct lead at canter = ginormous rub on neck and walk break)

I try my hardest not to forget exactly what she looked like, I can still remember every little detail about her almost. How some of her little hives at the top of her neck had yet to go away, the pin firing marks on her two fronts legs (although the right leg wasn't missing as much hair), the two splints on her front legs (and the one on the left leg was a bit lower and not as far back)... her feminine face... how her tail was almost black aside from the faded red top... her crooked stripe going down her face... the scabs around her hind pasterns that I was applying diaper rash cream too (it was working too!)... her perfect mane that always laid to the right and was nice and silky.

I remember how she looked when she first came to the barn... covered in hives, didn't have too much life in her eyes, had rusty steel shoes (were replaced with nice aluminum ones to benefit her joints) and had a slightly dull coat. She basically did a 180 and I was so excited for her to put on weight and for spring to come so that she could get rid of her winter woolies and show everyone at the barn how far she had come. She was such a smart horse and quick learner.

I remember the farrier loved her. After he did her feet, he said "I was once told to always be careful when doing a Thoroughbred's feet for the first time, and I am pleasantly surprised with how well-behaved she was". A man who was into Standardbreds and was sending a couple down to Ontario even stopped by and complimented her calm demeanor and commented on her resemblance to Secretariat.


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## Jore

I decided I'd post a quick update for everyone.

School-wise, I am doing really good... I think my average this term is a little bit over 90.

I got my driver's license and we just picked up my new car yesterday night.

Horse-wise, I still take two lessons a week and I still am planning on getting another horse some day.


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## deserthorsewoman

I was wondering where you were
Wow, driver's licence AND car. You got it going on;-)
Good to hear you're still taking lessons, what's the progress? Fill us in, please!!


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## Cacowgirl

Thanks for the update. Glad that your grades are good & happy to hear you have your license & a car! Pretty exciting stuff! Also, I'm happy to know that you are continuing w/your lessons & having time at the barn. Is Roger doing better for you?


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## Jore

Yes, life is going a lot better! I will be honest and say I still shed a tear of Indie, but I've realized that basically, life goes on and I know Indie would be happy to know that I'm doing well.  I'm finally able to drive myself places without having to borrow my mom's car so that's a plus, my instructor was pretty excited when I pulled in with it.

I haven't been riding Roger lately because my instructor is in the midst of finding a good farrier for him because his feet aren't too great lately. I've been riding Major the last month or so, and he's going well... very out of shape but he's still a star. He showed us how out of shape he really was this afternoon because after only an hour, he was completely out of breath and you could see his pulse easily. He also forgot how to pick up his feet today and tripped... he was able to lift himself back up though thankfully and I only twisted my back a little trying to keep my balance so he could.

My position has improved though, I'm concentrating more on myself and less on Major... because he doesn't need to many "touch ups" because he's an easy ride for me. Definitely reason to see if I'll be able to work with Roger for maybe one of my lessons. It'd give me a nice balance between a "relaxation ride" and a "you have to work now ride".

I basically have my next few years of life planned out too. I'm going to get my undergraduate degree in psychology (might study criminal justice/psychology somewhat as well) within the province and live in residence for one year then move in with my dad, because he's going to be buying a house in that area this year. Then, I am wanting to work towards a Ph.D in Ontario. I think psychology would kill two birds with one stone for me, 1) I find it so incredibly interesting and 2) psychologists make a pretty good salary. Plus, my mom has her Master's in Counseling Psychology and she always said her dad wanted her to be a doctor of some sort.

No horse in the near future, but I've accepted that, and my dad said that when the time comes to get another, he'll help me out with it. Still intending on an OTTB and will hopefully find a nice barn in Ontario.

Oh, forgot to add about Roger. A well-known instructor in Ontario actually displayed interest in him for one of his students looking to upgrade from a pony. I don't know if it is going to work out or not, because the girl is very attached to her pony, but the trainer and her parents want her to move onto the bigger jumping circuit. They were basically going to trade her $25 000 pony for Roger if they ended up going through with it, but I couldn't blame the girl if she wasn't ready to "upgrade". It just seems like such a bad word choice for something like that, since horses aren't comparable to a car because you form such a bond.


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## gunslinger

It's great to hear you're doing well. My 18 year old Nissan finally got to the point where I needed another car myself.....bought a 2013 Nissan Altima yesterday....hated to spend the money and I agonized over new or used and finally decided.....used, but with only 4,000 miles....

So Roger's worth $25,000.....interesting....I knew he as a jewel in the rough.....I'm pretty sure in a few short years, you'll be rolling in dough and own a pasture full of horses......keep studying, focus on what you want, and go get it.


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## Jore

Hopefully, I don't know if I'd want a pasture full of horses or not... I think I'll probably just find a nice dressage/jumping barn and find the perfect, young OTTB. We'll have to see how everything turns out, I'd like to think I'll be able to comfortably afford a horse some day though... preferably before I'm 30 because I don't know how long I can wait!


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## Jore

Yesterday I decided to compile all of my journal entries up until November 22... and 64 slides later, I am done... however, I am going to begin fishing for other threads pertaining to Indie and add more pictures. I'm going to get a binder to store the pages in so that I can read the entries whenever I feel like it.

I know a part of me is always going to miss her. I started crying when I started to copy the entries over, but when I read a part in my journal entry where I mentioned looking forward to many more years together, I just broke down.


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## deserthorsewoman

You need to stop hurting yourself over and over again, girl. 
I was wondering where you were. Still riding?


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## Jore

Still riding, twice a week but my instructor said I can come down and work with the new project pony all I want this summer. I'm riding Major, since Roger is undergoing a "transformation process" which I'll share more about once I just give a quick update on my own riding.  I've been doing a lot of jumping and striding in my lessons... usually jumping in the group and striding/equitation/flatwork in my individual lesson. Major loves jumping now, and it's blowing everyone out of the water. Who would've thought that little western pleasure would love to jump? He enjoys throwing a couple celebratory bucks after the first few jumps but he gives it his all and clearly loves it. I'm not showing nor leasing this year though.

As for Roger's five star treatment. My instructor booked him a massage awhile ago and found that he was fairly out of order... I think his pelvis was misaligned as well as some other things. So, he was getting regular massages for a decent amount of time. He was also started on an ulcer supplement and even started getting probiotic yogurt, which I forget the reason behind. Recently, a privacy screen was put across 3/4 of the front of his stall since his new neighbor is a ridiculously nasty mare. Roger is just grumpy, but this horse is just plain nasty, to put it simply. My instructor says he's starting to improve a little bit, so hopefully he continues to.


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## deserthorsewoman

Good to hear. Let's hope life improves for Roger now. 
So....a pony? Can't wait for an update....


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## Jore

Yes, a pony... who is a little spit fire it seems. My instructor sold Romeo, so she needed a new pony to eventually incorporate into the lesson program. She originally went to look at a different pony, but after the twelve year old boy hopped on this pony (who is three years old) and just kicked her to walk and kicked her to "run"... and then the rein snapped and she just stood there, my instructor decided that this pony was 'the one'. To be able to tolerate that was impressive, so she brought the pony home in the coming week. Some people are not meant to own horses, but luckily, some horses are tolerant of it... the boy and his grandfather apparently tried selling her a lame horse after claiming "he isn't lame, this happens every year and he comes out of it eventually".

The first day at the barn, the pony jumped the pasture fence because prior to being let out, my instructor wanted to see her move in the arena and let her go over a jump or two. Apparently she cleared all the jumps easily, so she might just be the next Romeo, who was convinced he was an Olympic show jumper and one of the most forward thinking horses at the barn... despite being 12hh.


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## deserthorsewoman

We say " the smallest have the most venom".... goes for horses, too, apparently.
12 hands....where are you going to put your legs...;-)


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## Jore

It must... it seems like she'll be a good replacement for Romeo once she's had enough work put into her. And I'm not sure, they'll probably be a couple inches off the ground at most!


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## deserthorsewoman

So then it'll be your fault should she knock down poles jumping;-)


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## NBEventer

I was thinking about you the other day.

One of the horses at my barn is moving to your barn at the end of this month. She is a sweet big ol draft cross mare. You may actually know her as she was trained there. She is deathly afraid of mounting blocks :shock:


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## Jore

NBEventer said:


> I was thinking about you the other day.
> 
> One of the horses at my barn is moving to your barn at the end of this month. She is a sweet big ol draft cross mare. You may actually know her as she was trained there. She is deathly afraid of mounting blocks :shock:


Just seeing this now!

Doesn't happen to be Daisy? I can remember her from awhile ago. if it is her, she's definitely a beautiful mare. 

And a quick update!

I finished my junior year with a GPA of 90, which is okay, although hopefully this year it will be a bit higher.

I'm working at the local pool, and getting _very_ good hours which also means I'm rarely at the barn. I'll be honest and say that I don't mind too much, but sometimes I get the horse bug and I know that it's a hobby I want to continue. I also still have a dream of getting a Warmblood yearling some day and eventually competing in dressage and/or eventing. Indie really showed me how fantastic horse ownership is, so it's something I want to have again within the next decade (sooner rather than later). I still miss her dearly, but God must have had bigger plans for her. I had a dream about her a week or so ago as well.

Also, I looked at Indie's old owner's facebook and found new pictures of Tucker, who was Indie's last foal. He looks like a very handsome colt, and I can see a bit of Indie in him.


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## gunslinger

My oldest daughter had a job at the local pool while she was in high school.....she's in her 30's now but still says it was the best job she ever had.

Good the hear you're doing so well Haley.....and good to read your post...


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## Jore

It really is a great job! It sure does beat sitting inside all day, which is what most of my friends do at their jobs. Plus I can remember my own swimming instructors when I was younger, so it's kind of neat to think that in a decade or so, the little kids in early levels will be teaching their own students.


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## Cacowgirl

Glad to hear that you are enjoying your job, and that school went ok. I'm sure there will be a horse at some point in your future. Indie will always have a place in your heart.


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## NBEventer

I'm glad things are going well with you! And yes Daisy is who I am talking about. She is such a sweety. 

I still think about you often. I like seeing these little updates and seeing that you are doing ok


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## Jore

I hope so, Cacowgirl! And yes, she definitely will... she truly was a special horse.

And NBEventer, I appreciate you saying that! I always enjoy seeing Ephy pictures on Facebook.  I had a lesson last night and sure enough, Daisy was in the pasture. My instructor loves her but was disappointed that her owner didn't keep up the training since she worked with her five days a week for awhile to get her W/T/C. Some horses just need to be ridden consistently to keep their training up to par. 
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gunslinger

So Jore....looking back on it all.....the age old question has always been, Is it better to love and lose, or to never love at all?

We risk to love, and in the end, we always lose because that's the way of the world.....as NOTHING of this world lasts.

Still, we love, and I believe, that's what god wants us to do and expects us to do. Because god wants us to love, then the loss is only a temporary one, as like Job, the faithful are always restored.

You're on the way back and much farther along than when your tragedy first manifested itself upon you. It makes an old man happy to see you in a good place again. 

See, broken hearts do mend.....


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## Jore

It really is better to love and have lost. 

My instructor told me moments after Indie died that God had already decided when Indie's last day was, and he led her to me because of that, because he knew that I could give her the love and care that all horses deserve. I know I spent a long time wondering why it wasn't a different horse, but I just told myself God needed an extra special angel, and that happened to be Indie. It's kind of strange though, because Indie visited me in a dream a couple weeks ago except she lived in my backyard in a relatively small pasture. In the dream, she kept jumping the fence because there was a bigger paddock in the field, and I would continually bring her back to the smaller pasture until eventually, I realized she was happier there and decided I'd just take care of her in the bigger pasture. I remember Copperhead told me the symbolism behind my other two dreams about Indie, and I really believe my recent dream had symbolism as well.

Although I'm not incredibly religious, nor do I regularly attend church, being able to believe that her soul was in Heaven and she'd be waiting for me helped more than one would think. I admit to crying while typing this, but I am now able to talk about her briefly without breaking down and I have come to accept her death, even though I would still do anything to have her back. I can only hope I would be so lucky as to find another horse I love just as much, even if it's in a different way. I still have silly regrets about her death, but I can't guilt myself for having not brought her one last apple because in the end, I think Indie still knew how much she meant to me, and always will.

I really have to thank everyone who supported me on here though, and those who supported me from the beginning as well. I know I could list dozens of names on here, but hearing condolences and all of the support helped me more than I could imagine, because this was the only place where I felt completely comfortable sharing my feelings when Indie died. I struggled a lot with posting on any other thread but my journal after Indie died as well because I felt like I no longer had something to offer the community, but I am now starting to post a bit more and I hope to stick around for a long time. Maybe before the decade is up, I'll be making a new progress journal for another horse... I can hope so anyways.


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## gunslinger

Jore said:


> It really is better to love and have lost.
> Maybe before the decade is up, I'll be making a new progress journal for another horse... I can hope so anyways.


Never forget the three greatest things in the world.....as Paul tells us in first Corinthians 13. 

*1*If I speak in the tonguesa of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.


*2*If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.


*3*If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,b but do not have love, I gain nothing.


*4*Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.


*5*It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 



*6*Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.


*7*It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


*8*Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.


*9*For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 



*10*but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.


*11*When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 



*12*For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.


*13*And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.


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## Jore

Another update!

Work is going great! I am working anywhere between thirty to forty hours a week, and I _love_ it! The staff this year is amazing and the morale is great, because we all get along so well and it's a set of completely new people, aside from a few of us. We do three sessions of lessons and we're halfway through the summer. I still prefer the lower levels, and preschool level, but I have a level five this session and I am enjoying it thus far. They do have a worse attention span than my level one class last session.  

I always recommend to the parents to have their kids continue with lessons and eventually take Bronze, because summer jobs do not get much better than lifeguarding. It's so rewarding to see the improvement, and it's just a great job.

Horse-related update will be below!

I am going to a lesson tonight, although I'm going to be cancelling my individual lesson until the summer is over, since I am working so much. I'll be starting back up with two lessons a week once September rolls around though.

In my last lesson, we worked on jumping and striding. My confidence is higher than it has been for awhile, and I can only hope that Indie is proud of me for continuing with my lessons. It's really difficult to get Major to lengthen his stride, but he keeps it consistent and since he loves jumping, he usually clears the jump with little issue. It takes him a couple rounds to actually realize he needs to pick his knees up though. 

Also, I am starting to research Warmblood lines because I think that eventually, I would love to own one. I've mentioned it before, but I am planning on moving to Ontario in the next few years and I am hoping to take dressage lessons with the goal of competing. For this reason, I want to learn more about Warmbloods and perhaps at one point, purchase a yearling. Expensive, yes, but I figure that if I successfully become a psychologist, I could comfortably afford a yearling and would continue lessons at a quality barn with experienced dressage trainers as the horse matures. When the horse is old enough, I'd have more knowledge in dressage and would still have the assistance of quality instructors.


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## my2geldings

She's a cute mare but she looks really sensitive and hot headed mare. How is she to ride now?


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## gunslinger

Jore said:


> Another update!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Also, I am starting to research Warmblood lines because I think that eventually, I would love to own one. I've mentioned it before, but I am planning on moving to Ontario in the next few years and I am hoping to take dressage lessons with the goal of competing. For this reason, I want to learn more about Warmbloods and perhaps at one point, purchase a yearling. Expensive, yes, but I figure that if I successfully become a psychologist, I could comfortably afford a yearling and would continue lessons at a quality barn with experienced dressage trainers as the horse matures. When the horse is old enough, I'd have more knowledge in dressage and would still have the assistance of quality instructors.


That's a wonderful dream, and trust me, dreams do come true but you have to be willing to work for them. I'm looking forward to the day when you post that you've got that warm blood, and the rest of your dreams came true.


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## NBEventer

It warms my heart to read such a positive update from you! 

I am going to be taking missy mare up your way this Sunday. If you are free you should come by for a bit. Ill fb you the details but ill be at the barn we talked about before. Its just to school off property before we do Foshay.

Keep up the progress and the updates <3


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## Jore

My2Geldings said:


> She's a cute mare but she looks really sensitive and hot headed mare. How is she to ride now?


She passed away in November. She wasn't ever hot-headed although she was very sensitive.

Gunslinger, if my dream ever comes true, everyone here will be the first to know.

NBEventer, I will have to try and go down for a visit! Although I work all afternoon since I'm filling in for someone at work.

~~~~~~

Also, I went to my lesson last night and we did a barn lesson on saddle fit. A certified saddle fitter had come to the barn so my instructor learned a fair amount and wanted to share with me. The first horse we ended up "fitting" was Annie, who was Indie's twin and it almost felt as though I was leading Indie to the other barn. It must've triggered something because Indie made an appearance in my dream last night.


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## Jore

Today is a day where I wish I had my girl...

I just have to remember that some day, I will have a horse again and I will love him/her just as much, and that it will be worth the wait.

Side note, the girl I rode with ended up taking Major to the week long clinic/show since her lease horse had a huge melt down the week before and trailering him just wasn't possible. They got four firsts and two fifths, I believe, and he was a gem. I went down to watch, and it made me miss showing and going to clinics. 

So, one day, I will be posting about a new horse and will make a new journal. Whether that is three years from now or ten, I don't know, but this forum will be the first to know. I want to achieve all the goals I had set for myself and Indie, and want to pursue my dream of dressage, which sadly, isn't popular in my area.


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## gunslinger

So how's Roger? Still working with him?


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## Jore

Not recently, but my instructor says his attitude is still improving a bit.

On a bitter sweet note, I stumbled across an ad for Indie's son on a facebook sale page. He looks so promising, and I cannot get over how much he looks like Indie from the side. If he had the same facial marking, his profile would look nearly identical to Indie's.


















If he's half as great as Indie was, he will make someone an amazing horse.


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## Jore

*Update Time!*

Another quick update!

My summer job is nearly over, which makes me sad, but that means the start of school is getting closer! The fact that next August, I will be preparing to go to university is absolutely petrifying... so I am going to try and enjoy this year as much as possible.

A summary on my job is up first!

I adore the people I work with, although our manager lately hasn't been too friendly... particularly towards myself. That aside, I still think this is the best summer job I could possibly have, and it's so rewarding. 

This past session was not as busy, but I loved all the kids I swam with. First half hour block was a five year old girl who wasn't a huge fan of the water. I actually had swam with her last year, and her mom told me how she had been hoping for the same lifeguard this summer. By the end, she was doing back glides without her noodles and was even starting to swim by herself! She gave me the most adorable card on the last day that said "I love you" on the front and she had written the alphabet on the inside.

Second half hour block was a young boy with autism, and although he was a handful, we had success doing back glides and attempting some floats. He was completely and totally fearless, and on the first day, he managed to run down to the deep end and jump in... although I got to him within a second after. For the following lessons, we had one guard on each side of the pool to catch him if he tried running again.

The third half hour block was a three year old girl, and for the first week, she was very reserved and didn't like doing things unless her older sister did them first. When she came back the next week, I could've sworn somebody replaced her with another child! She was super loud and funny which made swimming with her so much fun. 

The last half hour block was a young boy with down syndrome, and I seriously adored him. He always comes to public swim with his brother, who is one of our "regulars", and he took a huge liking to me. He would always come sit on my lap if they came early or if he and his brother were the only ones at the pool on a rainy day. As far as the lessons went, he always picked things up very quickly... although whenever I showed him a front float, he'd try jumping on my back to get a piggy back ride.  

So all in all, I think this was my favourite summer, and I'm hoping that I can teach all of them again next year. 

And now for a horse update!

I am really getting a horse fever lately, and have been browsing the CANTER website more than I'd like to admit. Another horse is far off in the future, but my dad did say that when that time comes, he would help me out... but if I end up going down my desired career path, it probably won't be necessary. 

I didn't make it to my riding lesson last night because I had to work, but last week's lesson went well!

We ended up riding the horses in the pony pasture, because it was relatively hot out and the new outdoor hunter derby ring was rained out earlier that day. Major had a bit of spunk in him and threw numerous crow hops and a couple bucks, but Laura said I rode him very well. Honestly, it was probably my best ride in awhile and I genuinely enjoyed my lesson. 

I do often think of how much fun I would be having with Indie and what it'd have been like to take her on a trail ride, but I try not to let myself get too down about it because I know I made the most of the little time we did have and that I took great care of her.


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## Jore

My sister is so insensitive sometimes.

We were all on a walk last night and we were discussing university, so of course I mentioned that my intentions are to go to U of T. My sister, for whatever reason, always gets mad because she doesn't like the idea of our parents helping pay for my university (as they will do for her). Her reasoning was "[dad] wasted $2500 on a dead horse" and that she deserves money spent on her as well. 

First off, he didn't _waste_ any money. Obviously we didn't foresee Indie dying, and it just makes me so mad to hear her say that.

Secondly, it's not my fault that I have a relatively expensive hobby whereas hers is somewhat inexpensive in comparison. However, my parents don't hesitate to buy her nice cheer shoes and cheer bows. 

Thirdly, both of our parents are dealing with money issues stemming from their divorce. So it's also inconsiderate to expect them to "even out the playing field" and seriously, we've always been lucky because we always have what we need and get quite a few luxuries.

Also, I finally found someone to make my horse hair bracelet and I'm pretty excited to hear back from them. Their bracelets are absolutely beautiful and they have some gorgeous turquoise beads!


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## Jore

Update time!

School started last Wednesday, and aside from one class, I love all my teachers! I was a bit disappointed that I didn't get in the "Women, Media & Culture" class, but it was only because my FI Language Arts is at the same time and that is a course I actually need... since I am in the French Immersion program.

I'm not too sure how I feel about math class yet, my teacher is hilarious and I find he is really good at getting his point across without over-explaining it like my past teachers. Currently, we're doing factoring... but we are learning how to factor with long division. The course is "Pre-Calculus 12B" so this is leading up to a "Calculus" course next semester. :shock:

Physics will likely be a breeze. I had a different teacher for 112 last year, and my classmates told me that my 122 teacher said that my class covered a lot of the grade 12 material. I did exceedingly well last year in physics, so as of right now, I feel relatively confident. During a discussion on Friday, everyone seemed confused when I brought up scalar and vector quantities so their class must not have gone over it last year while my class spent nearly forever on it.

I have yet to go on a campus tour of U of T, as my dad is still waiting to hear from his boss on when he is flying down to Ontario for meetings/etc. I'll likely go for the official campus/residence tour, and I know someone on another forum who is in their final year who would love to give me a tour. I'm thinking both would be great, because I'd get two unique viewpoints of the university. 

Cap and gown pictures are this coming Wednesday and graduating still hasn't sunk in yet! It's so weird to think back a few years and then look back to now, everyone has changed so much, but at the same time, it's like we haven't changed at all. I have an appointment for professional grad pictures on the 20th, and I'm intending on borrowing Major and getting them done in the field behind the barn. I am not the most photogenic person, but I'm hoping they turn out decently. 

Riding-wise, I feel like I have this new found motivation to improve. I'm enjoying it more and more, which I'm thankful for, because as everyone who reads this knows, I was having difficulty with that for quite some time. Instead of Laura having to constantly remind me of my position, I try to remind myself and it's paying off. My confidence continues to climb and my position is continuing to improve. I hope I'll be able to find a barn to volunteer at when I go to university, because I want to keep improving or at the very least, maintain my current skill set.


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## Cacowgirl

So glad to see your update & that life is being good to you. Also happy to hear that the riding is going so well, too. Don't know what threads you follow, but I will be getting a new horse on the 17th of this month, along w/her companion donkey, Millie. I lost a lot of great sounding horses as I had two trips booked & paid for, so I didn't want to lose this mare also, so sight unseen, I bought her from her pictures on Craig's List & talking to her present owner. I'm glad I did as there was another gentleman that called on her & probably would have taken her if I hadn't whipped out my debit card. But, not a way I would tell anyone to buy a horse! I'm hoping it works for me, 50+ years of buying, & I'm just as nervous as most folks are with their first. We do have a good contract that she drew up & the Coggins & health certificate, & brand inspection will all be in order by the time I get to Utah to pick her up. Not looking forward to the drive there & back though. But, once & done-I hope you see her pictures after I get her & learn how to attach them. She's a "redhead", too!


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## Jore

Redheads are the best! I will have to find your posts about her. 

Update time!

Academic-wise, everything is going superbly. I have pretty high grades in all of my classes. I've been working on scholarships and looking into universities and will hopefully be going on a few tours sometime this month. I am quickly realizing that growing up is not all it's cracked up to be and is actually really, really stressful!

Horse-wise, I think I'm improving my riding skill and I am still enjoying my weekly lesson. Half of the reason I enjoy it so much is the people but Major helps too,

In general though, I am not doing so well. I have felt so alone lately, and I don't even understand why. I always try my best to be nice to everyone and I've always thought I had a lot of good friends. It's just that all my friends seem to have better friends compared to me. I ate lunch by myself because all of my friends were off with their other friends downtown getting lunch. I didn't get a single invite so I just told them to have fun and headed down to the cafeteria by myself. Someone ended up coming to sit by me because "I looked lonely" and they were right. I nearly could've burst into tears because I am so tired of being ditched and being everyone's second choice... even third.

I think this whole breakdown has been in the making for awhile but today was just the straw that broke the camel's back. I had to come here to post this because I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone else about it. I feel like if I do talk to my friends about it, they'll just feel obligated to include me. I'd like for just once to receive an invite to go somewhere instead of inviting myself. I always make an effort to include everyone so I just don't understand why nobody returns the favour. I don't understand why I don't have anybody to ask me what's wrong either. Maybe I'm expecting too much but when someone goes from bubbly and cheerful to quiet and reserved, shouldn't someone ask what's going on with them? Maybe I'm just good with faking a smile, but I just thought maybe my friends knew me better than that.

I get more excited for university as the days go by. I know that life is what you make of it, but I don't know where I'm going wrong.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Wallaby

:hug: 

For whatever reason I happened to pop in here today and I just want you to know that I can SO relate to the feeling of inviting everyone to do things...and never getting invited yourself.
The same thing has happened to me my entire life and, at age 23, continues to happen. I don't know what to say that'll make it feel better and I don't know how to solve it either.

The one thing I've found that makes me feel better about it is to look at how people respond to invitations or how they reciprocate our friendship, if that makes sense. I've found that if someone seems standoffish about hanging out, it doesn't necessarily mean they don't like ME. 
I've found that, for one of my closest friends, the fact that he'll ALWAYS text me back, no matter what, is much bigger than the fact that he seems to 'avoid' one on one or even group time if it doesn't have a 'real' purpose. He goes out of his way to make sure I always feel cared about, even if he doesn't really have the time. After nearly 3 years of friendship, we've gotten to the point of 'hanging out' for 5 minutes every week or so when we happen to cross paths...but getting time outside that would be unlikely. Time in the form of texts and letters though, YES.
For another of my closest friends, she's always ready to hear it if I need someone to talk to. She'll listen to me moan about everything, then take the time to talk with me until I cheer up. She'll spend hours crafting letters and texts that she knows will cheer my heart. She knows some of my deepest hurts and loves me for it. I know I could tell her anything and she wouldn't be shocked, she'd love me more. I could invite her to do things allll day and she would never be able to do anything with me. But I know she cares. 

I only have one friend that will actually hang out with me whenever I want to hang out. But you know what? I actually sort of end up dreading spending time with her because she wants to just discuss superficial things and complain, without any kind of hope for a better future. 
I've learned to judge my friends by the effort they put into our relationship, besides the "hanging out" stuff. I learned that while hanging out is a huge deal to me, to others it's those texts, or a "hey you look lonely, can I sit with you?", or a really thoughtful post on your Facebook wall. To someone where hanging out doesn't 'matter', it doesn't even cross their mind that we might be hurt to not be invited or that we might like to be invited! Even once they know us well.

Anyway, all I'm saying is hang in there. And take a look at the people around you. Who IS that person who came to sit with you? Who's making an effort, any effort, to be there for you? Get to know those people. 
And don't be afraid to 'invite yourself'! I mean, be polite, of course, but don't be afraid to share that you'd like to be invited. I know for myself, most of my friends know I don't like to be out late or for more than a couple of hours so they just don't invite me to go out after things. If I would like to go out, I say something like "oh hey, are you going to ___? I'd like to come along sometime!" before they go and I'll often find myself invited along. 
It seems that my introverted desire for quiet-time can't coincide with "hanging out" inside the brains of many of my friends. Therefore, it's important to let them know that I DO want to hang out sometimes. 

Hang in there. I can count on one hand the times someone, who I wanted to invite my somewhere, actually has invited me somewhere. I can't say it ever feels better to not be invited but remember to count the little things. Often the little things count for more than the big ones do.


And sorry for how long this is. I'm overly wordy allll the time and I was hoping to make you feel less alone = so.many.words... :lol:

:hug: 
I hope tomorrow is better.


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## gunslinger

I wish you both were closer, I've got a horse that needs a young lady to ride him...

Consider yourselves invited....

Seriously though, we all feel alone at times. Try to enjoy it as often we're overwhelmed and can't find a spare minute.

As far as friends, well, I have a lot of acquaintances but only a couple of what I call shovel buddies. 

Before you ask, a shovel buddy is a friend that you could call and say something like I just killed (insert name) and they'd say something to the effect of "I'll be there in a few minutes with a shovel."

True life long friends are a blessing from god. Like you, I wish I had more of them.

Chin up girl, it's all good...!!!:wink:


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## Jore

Thanks, Wallaby and Gunslinger! It means a lot to me that you both took time out of your day to reply.

A couple of my friends were concerned about me yesterday and ended up talking to me about it. They tried to cheer me up and came down to the cafeteria to eat with me. 

My other friends didn't even bother to ask what was wrong. Considering I was upset all day and other people asked me if I was doing better right in front of them, it bothers me that they weren't able to put two and two together. I don't think I expected them to though because they're the bigger issue. So until they feel like putting effort into the friendship, I will probably stick with the friends I mentioned in the paragraph above.


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## gunslinger

My high school years were pretty tough as I didn't quite fit in to any one group. Early 20's were much better.

We all get the blues. Good times and bad times. You can't break the cycle.

I went to the doctor a few years back after leaving a very good job and all he could do was offer me some happy pills.

After his visit, and while waiting for some lab work, I asked a very old man sitting next to me for some advice. 

He listened patiently and then told me "Son, take a long walk every day, and go to church on Sunday, and I recon everything will be alright."

I should have paid him instead of the doctor as that was truly some words of wisdom.

So, my advice to you is the same. Take a good long walk and say a prayer or two while you're enjoying your walk. Move around a bit and get your blood flowing.... I know this sounds pretty simple but everything's going to be alright and I'm pretty sure you'll feel better about things in the morning.

Now, about friends...most of them are temporary. In a few months you'll have a whole different bunch of friends. Don't worry so much about being popular. True friends will love you for who you are and in spite of yourself.


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## thesilverspear

High school sucks. I felt that way throughout most of high school, a lot of university, and occasionally even now although I am 30. 

To deal with it, I almost had to figure out how to do "cognitive therapy" on myself. Meaning, instead of focusing on all the things my friends didn't invite me to or all the times they apparently chose to not hang out with me, I have to instead look at all the times (and you say yourself that those certainly happen) when people do invite me to stuff or hang out with me. 

If you look at other people's behaviour, you'll most likely see that they don't invite every single one of their mates to everything all the time. And a lot of people half-invite themselves along, or assume that they are tacitly invited, and your friends may assume that you know that you're also tacitly invited.

I wish I could say that this kind of rationalisation always worked -- it unfortunately doesn't dispel those worries 100%, but it helps. I suppose I don't get as wildly wound up and upset about that sort of thing the way I did in high school and college. 

The other thing is that people, especially high school kids but people in general, really, are usually not as perceptive or as secure and confident as you think they are. When I was in high school, I also tried the "if I look a bit quiet and sufficiently dejected, people will ask me what's wrong" schtick. It didn't work. Not even once. People are either just oblivious and don't pick up on your hints that you're unhappy, or they find it all too awkward and don't know how to ask you what's wrong. So they don't do anything. It doesn't mean that they don't like you. It just means that if you're behaving in a slightly socially awkward way, they might not know how to respond.

I do think these things improve as you (and your friends) get older and wiser. Hang in there.


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## Jore

I was putting off posting this, because I haven't been at a computer lately. So now is a good time to do it.

"If tears could build a stairway, 
and memories a lane.
I would walk right up to Heaven
and bring you back again.

No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say "Goodbye".
You were gone before I knew it,
and only God knows why.

My heart still aches with sadness,
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to love you -
No one can ever know.

But now I know you want me
to mourn for you no more;
To remember all the happy times
life still has much in store.

Since you'll never be forgotten,
I pledge to you today~
A hollowed place within my heart
is where you'll always stay."

As of today, it has been 367 days since Indie passed on, and this poem still describes my emotions perfectly. Tears stream down my face just reading it, which is why I was putting this off until nobody was around. 

I haven't gone for a visit to her grave yet, since it's getting dark earlier and high school is keeping me so busy... but she has been making frequent visits to my thoughts. 

It's hard to believe that it's been a year already, but it's not hard to believe that I would still do nearly anything to get my Indie back. She was truly one of a kind, and I continue to love her as I did 367 days ago.


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## gunslinger

Time passes......and yes, your poem found a tear in my eyes too....


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## Cacowgirl

Losing a beloved horse really hurts-I know you gave your heart totally-that's just what we do & losing Indie was so unexpected & traumatic. Please continue to be brave & move forward in your life. I've lost many horses & each one was special & now that I've got two more, & a donkey, I worry about their mortality. It's just part of loving them.


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## Corazon Lock

Jore,
I still follow your thread after all this time. Congrats on doing well in school and having a plan!  

I'm glad you've still been riding all this time and have been working on your skill set. It's very admirable! I've been riding less and less these days, but Rusty has been my little miracle and has proved to the world that after breaking his lateral malleolus, he isn't done being a riding horse.  I think everything happens for a reason, and I'm betting your next horse will be an entirely new adventure! 

As for the friend thing, you aren't alone in that matter. Even in college, it can still be the same way. I've noticed that bigger groups garner this problem more frequently, where if you're quieter or more polite in your case and don't invite yourself, you tend to get left out. I guess there's fewer and fewer people out there concerned about others' feelings - and probably because you are kind, it's hard knowing you put forth such an effort and no one reciprocates. 

If it helps you any in knowing you're not alone, my best friends are making lots of other friends, and while it's great that they are, they always want to invite their other friends along on our adventures, and then it always seems like I get left out. 

I just realized this is a long, random novel that may or may not make any sense, but I'm glad life is going along mostly well for you.


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## Jore

Not sure why, but I had a urge to revisit this thread and here I am... with a long overdue update. Sometimes I lurk here, but not too often.

Life-wise, everything is going pretty great. I did well in my first year of university and love my major, so all is awesome in that sense. I made some great friends and we're renting a house this coming September so that should be a blast!  I'm in a relationship with the guy I went to prom with... we started dating a bit before prom, after talking since that November. We broke up in the summer, because he was going to university on the other side of the country, but kept talking and hanging out... then kept in touch through university and talked everyday and skyped weekly. Then my dad flew me out over spring break and we decided to get back into a relationship again. So all has been great since then. 

Horse-wise, I kept riding up until I started work last summer. I want to get back into eventually but that will have to wait until I'm done my degree. Although there's a barn near my university so eventually I might look into a monthly lesson or something.

Indie-wise, it's been two and a half years and although she doesn't cross my mind everyday... my heart still aches when I think of her and just typing this up made me cry. I really think she took a piece of me with her when she left. I want another horse one day, so I'm hoping I'll be able to love that horse as much as I loved her in that short time we had together.


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## egrogan

Jore, nice to see you back here. I remember your story well! It's great that you're having such a wonderful university experience. And I can absolutely promise you that horses will still be waiting for you in your 20s, 30s, and beyond once you're done with school and settled into your career! Sounds like you're prioritizng what's right for you at this point in your life, and that's great!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## zookeeper1991

Glad to hear things are going well!


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## gunslinger

I often think about you and it's nice to find things going so well with you. 

Indie was special. 

Don't take so long to update next time!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FrostedLilly

Glad you're enjoying life. And I can relate - the horse I had for 9 years growing up died 11 years ago at the end of this month and I still feel that little twinge when I think about her. She died just a few days before my high school grad and like you, I went off to university and with that and working, didn't end up riding for another 6 years. Now that I'm stable with work and school, I absolutely love my horse time. I don't think you can ever find a horse that measures up to that first horse (at least I haven't been able to yet!), but there will be others that will have their own quirks and personalities that you will be able to love almost the same!


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## Jore

Back again with another little update! I was laying in bed tonight and Indie crossed my mind for some reason. Just last week I had a dream about her too... it was strange. In the dream, I hadn't gone to the barn to see her for a couple years and I was astonished to realize it had been so long so I rushed to the barn and was all worried about what type of condition she would be in. I don't really know the meaning of it, but it was nice for her to appear in my dream like that.

It's true what they say though about people not realizing exactly what they have until it's gone though. Like I never doubted how much I loved Indie when I had her, but even today... two years and a half later, I still cry when I think about her and she still crosses her mind. I think that's because she was such an amazing horse and I had waited so long for a horse to call my own. 

I am looking forward to the future though, when I'll be able to get back into riding and have a horse to call my own again. I follow a couple OTTB pages on Facebook and the chestnut mares never fail to pull at my heartstrings... so I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up with another chestnut. 

And I'm also heading back to school in a week which is exciting! I have a house with my friends so that'll be a new experience as well. Then my boyfriend (who goes to school out west) wants to pay for me to come visit him out there for a week in October so I'm looking forward to that too!


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## Jore

Just posting tonight because Indie crossed my mind and so now I'm relatively upset. I don't know if it's normal to still get so upset over her... afterall, we only had three months together and somehow it's been three years since she passed away. I don't know if it's because of how she passed away or if I just had so much love to give her that it's still there; I think it's a combination of both. I even googled "guttural pouch infection" and looked at symptoms and one of the symptoms was a stiff neck... and I remember her taking awhile to loosen up in her neck. And another symptom was nasal discharge... she sometimes had a runny nose but it never seemed like something bad. And it does say it's an extremely rare infection but reading it just made me think maybe there's something I could have done.

But on a more positive note, I had a 3.8 GPA (on a 4.0 scale) last semester and I have been doing just as well so far this semester. So hopefully in a couple years I will make the transition to a graduate school if I keep it up.


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## jaydee

This journal has been closed due to prolonged lack of participation by the author. Journals that have no active participation by the author for a period of time greater than 18 months will be considered abandoned and will be closed until the author asks for them to be reopened.


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## jaydee

This journal has been closed due to prolonged lack of participation by the author. Journals that have no active participation by the author for a period of time greater than 18 months will be considered abandoned and will be closed until the author asks for them to be reopened.


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