# Owner never trusts my abilities



## turkishdelight (Aug 2, 2014)

I've been riding at the same facilities for over 6 years now, attending every week and progressing as much as I can. It's not an official riding school, rather it is owned by an older lady who focuses on relationships between the horse and rider. I am largely self taught due to this.

Anyway, I have a small issue with the place. I am never trusted in my abilities. I am treated as though I am no more than a beginner - even though I have ridden for far longer than any of the riders in my lessons. I was not taken off a lead until I had ridden for 2 months, trotting after perhaps a year, cantering after another. I have made extremely slow progress, and I have only stayed because it was the cheapest in the area at $20 for an hour (followed by $80 for an hour). 

To provide an example of what I mean, just today I asked to ride my regular lesson horse bareback. She had previously been left unridden for 2 years and none at the stables had tried her without a saddle before. The owner was extremely hesitant and worried, before finally coming to the decision that I may as long as I was read. Keep in mind that the horse in question is perfectly quiet, no issues whatsoever. No more than a minute later, an eight year old who had been riding for less than a year walked up and asked to ride her bareback as well in the next lesson slot. This was met with smiles and enthusiasm. This has occurred many times in other situations and with other horses.

I'm not trusted to mount by myself, sometimes not even to check the saddle or bridle the horse, and I don't know why. I'm looking at moving to another lesson facility ($55-$70 an hour) where I am actually allowed to jump (not allowed at this place) and canter for more than 5 minutes, but the cost is putting me off a bit.

What should I do? I am quite good friends with the volunteers (around my age) and would miss leaving them... but I have put up with this for 6 years, never progressing or gaining trust and I feel like it's time to move on.


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## Saranda (Apr 14, 2011)

Talk to the lady. She may not realize your frustration and have, to her mind, a perfectly valid reason to be more hesitant to let you do more. Be polite, civil and mature, and you might get the answer. That being said, it is good for a riders' progress to change trainers, horses and/or barns from time to time - change helps to evolve. One of my best decisions as a riding student was to leave my first barn and get a different trainer.


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## turkishdelight (Aug 2, 2014)

I was thinking about any reasons why she might be reluctant, and all I can think of is that I'm very quiet, and unlike a lot of the other riders, when I first started I never pushed to do things I wasn't ready for. Because she's over 80, a lot of the riders often manage to pressure and guilt her into allowing them to ride the more difficult horses.


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

It rarely does any good or resolve anything to just guess at why something is. I recommend asking the woman, too. Beyond that, after 6 years, if you think you are being discounted or held back, change barns.

Do you have other barns in the area where you might go to ride?


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## turkishdelight (Aug 2, 2014)

I'm just not sure how I should go about asking her without coming off as rude. I'm seriously considering moving to another barn, only 30 minutes away, that has private lessons for $60/hr, because whether or not the issue is sorted, I can never progress beyond walking, trotting and cantering.


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## Chasin Ponies (Dec 25, 2013)

turkishdelight said:


> I was thinking about any reasons why she might be reluctant, and all I can think of is that I'm very quiet, and unlike a lot of the other riders, when I first started I never pushed to do things I wasn't ready for.


There is a lot of truth to this statement. 
As an instructor for more than 30 years I will tell you that I _hate_ teaching the kids will not communicate with me. She may think that you really aren't that interested in advancing. Any good instructor will carefully and slowly push the student up into things that the student is still nervous about but they can't read minds!

Now bear in mind that the cocky, noisy ones who think that they are much better than they really are get knocked back quite a bit too. I usually put them on a horse that teaches them that they aren't ready for what they claim to know. 

Instructor are always watching your riding and analyzing what you are ready to try (or at least should be!) but our biggest fear is that a kid will get badly hurt on the wrong horse or trying something that is too advanced. Falls are expected and normal but _a bad accident is unacceptable_.

There is another thing that may be happening. She's 80 years old and may just be getting "burnt out". Too much work, too many students over the years and she had lost that enthusiasm for teaching. It happens.

Get used to having conversations with her and it doesn't always have to be about your riding. Mention things you would like to try, even ask if she needs any help at the stable. As a quiet one I doubt if you will come off as one of the cocky, know-it-all type of students but be careful not to.

It is a fact that instructors do have their favorite students but the good ones try very hard to hide it and give everyone a chance.

Speak up and be super nice about it-instructors can often read a horse's attitude but they can't read their students minds!


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## turkishdelight (Aug 2, 2014)

Thanks for the reply.
I'm very close with the owner, as are all of the riders, and to most she is considered almost like another grandmother. Whenever I have an opportunity to advance, I do. For example, I have only been riding the horse I spoke about in my post for around 4 months, and I prefer to get used to their behaviours and personalities before moving forward. 
Some additional information I believe is quite important to the situation:
- It is not technically a riding 'school' as such - no insurance, at the owners house, and riding is done in a paddock with activities for the riders set up e.g. rings on posts, wood that can be walked over (jumps) etc
- There are no instructors, essentially. Volunteers assist riders and teach them the basic commands and positions - these girls are in general between 11 and 15, however one girl is 17.
- The owner will occasionally comment on riding, but usually sits on a bench in the paddock and speaks to parents.
- Many of the horses are older, ranging from 20-42, and the owner is quite protective of them.
- Cantering is permitted only occasionally, for no more than a total of 10 minutes at most throughout the lesson. This applies to all riders.


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## BugZapper89 (Jun 30, 2014)

Well doing the quick math 6 years , no formal trainer, and weekly self taught makes you a dangerous beginner. Your yearly saddle time is less then one month under professional guidance at my barn


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

I would look into a new facility. Think of it this way- how much money have you spent over the years at this place? Probably lots and lots, as $20 in weekly lessons adds up. What are your goals in riding? You mention jumping- not something you can do at this barn. Showing? Eventually owning or leasing a horse? Taking lessons, even less frequently, at a barn with good instruction that will push you in a helpful way will probably bring you closer to these goals. You may find that the cost is worth it when you're getting more enjoyment out of your riding in less time rather than spending money at a place where you stay at the same point.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Amba1027 (Jun 26, 2009)

The saying "You get what you pay for" rings very true in this situation. Yes, you will be paying a lot more at other places, but you will also be getting a lot more in return. It sounds like you've gotten as far as $20 rides can take you. If you want a better learning experience and opportunity to advance, you are going to have to pay for it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Elsa (Jun 20, 2014)

If you feel held back, go take a lesson or two at the other barn and see the difference. Then after the lesson(s), decide if the cost is worth it to you to switch and notify whoever you will not be continuing with. There is no harm in going to see what another instructor can teach you.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Elsa said:


> If you feel held back, go take a lesson or two at the other barn and see the difference. Then after the lesson(s), decide if the cost is worth it to you to switch and notify whoever you will not be continuing with. There is no harm in going to see what another instructor can teach you.


I think this is true. If the lessons end up not being what you need, then you can easily keep going at your current barn. If you don't try then you'll never know.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## turkishdelight (Aug 2, 2014)

I think trying the other barn would be the best idea. The only reason why I haven't changed before is because the cheapest lesson within an hour was $80, followed by $100 until the barn I am looking at got new management. It's extremely expensive in my area. If it doesn't meet my expectations, then I guess I may also look at places further away.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

Are you only riding once a week? It's hard to progress at one ride a week! Is there a way you could lease a horse to ride more often?


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## turkishdelight (Aug 2, 2014)

I do ride once a week, however nobody that I am aware of at the school rides more often than that. I have progressed as far as I possibly can, however when new opportunities come up (such as riding my lesson horse bareback) I take them. 

I'd love to lease, however horses are illegal in my area and the closest agistment is an hour away. Plus, with a busy schedule I couldn't possibly give a horse the attention it needs.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

Wow that's rough! Areeee donkeys or mules illegal too? Serious question!


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## turkishdelight (Aug 2, 2014)

Unfortunately, they're banned too. I think cattle, sheep and goats may be as well, but I could be wrong about those.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

Is it a zoning law that prohibits horses on your property, or is it a regional thing? If so, how do the riding schools have horses? Since your horse experience is limited by your previous barn I would suggest boarding at your lesson barn if possible. Heck, you may find that the new barn has a school horse you can part lease!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

at a certain point, you have to decide that you are worth the money, and you usually get what you pay for. it may be expensive, but if you learn in one lesson what it takes you 10 current lessons to do, it's a bargain.


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## turkishdelight (Aug 2, 2014)

I live on an island, much of which is national park. The closest riding school to me is the one I will hopefully be moving to and is 30 minutes away. Leasing at the new barn sounds like a good idea, I'll definitely look into it!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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