# Frustrated after today's show :-(



## kathryn (Jan 16, 2009)

Aw I am sorry it went badly for you. Do they have to jump it or could you just sit back and have her step over the jump if it isn't too big?


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## Dartanion (Dec 8, 2008)

Hey, I am sorry that happened. It was strange I had one crappy time at my regional horsemastership test yesterday. D littlerally stopped at each jump then launched knocking down every single jump! I was lucky we made up our points in the flat, grooming and written test and we still qualified for state but I couldn't believe he acted like that!!!! gah! I am thinking he MIGHT be getting show sour so we are just doing nice relaxing trail rides for the rest of this week (and then some) to see if that helps. Maybe what you can do is great a BUNCH of jumps at home? Stones, tires, coups, anything you think could show up at a show? D use to get sucked back at Oxars so I just made all my jumps oxars at home and he's gotten almost 100% better about them. Maybe this will help prevent this from happening at the next show?? I am sorry that it went this way for you... OH! (forgive me if this is a stupid question I've never done eventing before) but are you allowed to ride after the show or after your go?? maybe before even?? you can maybe pop Sandie over all the jumps they have there so she can have a good look at everything? sorry if this doesn't help.


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## 3days3ways (Feb 23, 2007)

that sucks  but unfortunately that's part of eventing! we all go through it at some point, so you're not alone.

basically first off to avoid catching your horse in the mouth, you first need to work on stabilizing your position on the flat and then jumping with jumps your horse is comfortable with (lots of no stirrup work!!) 

a lot about your horse's confidence in jumping is your confidence. so having a positive ride is going to help change your horse's attitude. remember to look over the jump and sit up tall (don't lean forward and anticipate the jump), keep your sit-bones on the saddle and your leg on (not squeezing, but supportive). to practice different types of jumps without having to spend a lot of money, you can use things such as tarps over or under jumps to make a make shift water jump, jackets over the poles, brightly colored cones, and similar objects.

since i already wrote you a novel, i will stop here for now haha but if you want more ideas i'd love to help 

oh one more thing- remember the most important thing is to HAVE FUN AND LEARN! don't rate your success at an event by your placing, but from what you take away from it.


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

Oh wow, how terrible. Poor you and Sandie. Just remember though, you are both pretty new at this and you will both make mistakes. My suggestion would be grab a handful of mane but I don't think that is "proper" jumping position. LOL.



> Remember the most important thing is to HAVE FUN AND LEARN! Don't rate your success at an event by your placing, but from what you take away from it.


^^ Excellent statement, 3days.


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## Hoofprints in the Sand (Nov 23, 2008)

Thanks everyone  Dartanion, you can go to a schooling day the day before and ride the course, which I should have done! But I'd ridden it earlier this year at the first show and the only one she had any issue with was the first jump photo above, the rocks. So after that disaster we went home and built a rock jump for her and that did help.

But then at this show I show up and they changed the course and added the stupid TIRES!!!! Didn't even think of that! So I guess we'll have to go find some tires now to practice over lol!! 

Can anyone else who's done Eventing here tell me what other strange things they make you jump over at a low level like mine (Intro level)? So far here are the "regulars" and some of the not too regulars like the tires too!

Coop
Brush box
SCARY TIRES WITH SHARP TEETH! ;-)
Log
Rocks
Log/rock combo
Hay/hay cart
Rail road ties
Wood stack
Small fence
Freight train (yeah it was a box made to look like a train that this one show did!!)

I can't think of any other for now, but has anyone else gone over others that I may want to create at home for us to practice with?! 

Thanks for the help everyone!!


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## eventerdrew (Mar 13, 2009)

sorry about your fall  I have a course that I SWEAR is cursed, too!

Just remember that it's not all about how you place. Yes, it's nice when you get a ribbon but it's all about the experience you get out of it. Whether it tells you that you need to move up or it tells you that you have things to work on, you can always bring something away from it. My mare did her first recognized event last summer and my whole goal was for her not to get eliminated in dressage, and go clean on XC... and when we met that goal... I felt like we won! We got 7th in a tough division but I cried because I was so proud of the horse and what we accomplished.

Falling off a couple of times when it matters most is going to teach you to keep your upper body back, right? So that's a bonus of this show! lol. You have to support her ALL THE WAY to the jump. Her job starts when all four feet leave the ground and then it's your job to help her land correctly. It's hard to not lean forward, trust me I know! It's one of my main vices. 

As far as jump ideas....

Stadium Jumps: 
Polka- Dotted planks
Animal Print planks, poles, and standards
Rolltops
Planks with funky shapes.... I.E. Diamonds, squares
Reflective material on planks
Brick wall (you can paint it onto a plank to save some $, that's what I did and it works just as well)


XC fences:
Coop with scary bright colors... sometimes at shows they will add a BRAND new jump that they just built. The wood is usually a bright color and sometimes it scares the horses.

Crabapples on a stair jump... I know it sounds weird but I have had to jump that before! 

DITCHES!!!!!!

Grain sacks filled with sand or straw

Banks



I definitely recommend going to every schooling you can afford/ make time for. Especially on courses with scary jumps! Usually ( I don't know Sandie ) horses are scared of the TYPE of jump, not the particular jump itself. If they have seen tires before on a different course, they will usually recognize it as the same type of fence.


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## Hoofprints in the Sand (Nov 23, 2008)

Eventerdrew you are SO right about that last statement! She had never seen a tire before, let alone JUMP a line of them! So I know that's what freaked her out...she still gets a little nervous about rocks but she'll eventually go over them so that's not as big an issue as it used to be.

I go to schooling when I can but unfortunately I don't own a trailer so I have to find someone else to go with, and the girl I show with works on Saturdays (which is when the schooling days are). So I normally can't go...I wish we could get a trailer but it's just not in the budget right now!! :-( Then I could school every time!

The first event (my 2nd show) that I got a ribbon in (BLUE ribbon!) was one in which I schooled the day before, got all the refusals out and got Sandie used to the course...then she did it like it was nothing the next day at the show! So it definitely helps, I just need to find a ride haha!!


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## eventerdrew (Mar 13, 2009)

I can DEFINITELY relate to the transportation issue. I am a jr. rider, so obviously I don't have money to buy a trailer. My family had been saving up since I started riding and after 11 years we finally got a truck and trailer... a 1996 Ford F-250 and an aluminum-over-steel two horse straight load Trail-Et. 

I had to depend on my trainers to take me places, which is a drag! Now I can haul by myself and don't have to depend on my trainer for anything in that department... sometimes I even give her a ride! lol.

My retired TB mare HATES HATES HATES blue tarps. I wish I had a pic to show you what she did. She was terrified of them, and still is. We made her jump it so many times and she had the exact same expression on her face each time- sheer terror! You could feel her heart beating out of her chest and it was the only time when her knees where tight against her chest. hahahaha... BUT oddly enough... she jumps real liverpools like a champ. lol


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## Hoofprints in the Sand (Nov 23, 2008)

haha Sandie hates tarp too!! We had "scary jump night" a couple weeks ago and we adorned the jumps with all sorts of things...orange cones, fun-noodles, balls, blankets, etc. She went over all of them eventually but would not go NEAR the tarp!! 

I finally started trotting her in a small circle around the tarp and then started slowly cutting in the corners a bit so that one hoof would be on the tarp for an instant, and finally got her to trot over the middle. But she still won't walk over it, only trot!! I guess she figures that way she can run away from it faster!! lol


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## eventerdrew (Mar 13, 2009)

aww! Sounds like Sandie is way braver than Ginisee. She would lay down and DIE before touching a tarp... or a plastic bag. Her fears in order of worst to least:

Plastic Bags
Tarps
Fire/Smoke... we had a fire here a couple months ago and she really panicked. We knew she had the fear before but it was really bad when it came into her pasture. We got them out in time, thank the Lord. 

Uma is afraid of one thing...

TOADSTOOLS!!! The horse is 17hh and she's afraid of toadstools! haha


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## Hoofprints in the Sand (Nov 23, 2008)

Well Sandie is deathly afraid of SOAP SUDS!!!!!! lol If I give her a bath in the wash stall and then dump the bucket of soapy suds out in front of her, she backs up into the corner and puts her nose down and snorts at them! It's hilarious!!


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## StormyBlues (Dec 31, 2008)

*sigh* tires. It's totally fine that Sandie refeused them! The lady that had Geof before I bought him(she was also like my trainer for that week, and any time I go down there) had a novice tire jump. (about 2'9" at the highest point, but it was three half tires placed end to end, and we jumped the smallest part) and she told me and I quote "I wanna see you kickin' because they all look at this one, even the experianced ones!" And by experianced she means Advanced and four star horses so don't worry aabout it! At least she thought about doing it just tackle it next time! I'm going to school XC at one of the best courses in our area this weekend, so I'm excited and not very neverous to tell ya the truth! So just keep doin what your doin because it seems to be working out ok for yas!  
Ok, novel done!


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## MIEventer (Feb 15, 2009)

HITS, don't worry about - we all have to have good experiences and learning experiences. I've had my share. But you did well, you got her over the stone wall solidly, so be proud of yourself.

I want to commend you for aknowledging your errors to create the mishap at the tires, remember, that's a sign of a good rider! When I drop Nelson or stop riding, Nelson quits too, and he's gone Prelim - so now you know how to be that much better of a rider for your horse.

Nelson never looks at fences, he doesn't spook at any fence out on the CC course or in the Stadium, because he's very experienced. He only looks and acts spooky, if I react to the fence - for example, the Training Level Trakk fence..I hate it, so Nelson does too - but you put his pevious owner on him who doesn't blink an eye at Trakks, Nelson fly's over that fence like nothing too it - just food for thought.

I'm super proud of you, you should be too! Remember, this is your first season together - you have a long way to go together, and just as Eventerdrew said, it isn't about placing - it is about the experience the two of you share. Don't make this into winning...do not make that mistake, or you will be miserable when you get to bigger and tougher comps. You have to make this about you and Sandie, nothing more, nothing less. 

I'm with you on the trailering aspect, I don't have a truck nor a trailer - so I have to rely on my Coach and Friends - so I'm with you in that department. Sucks doesn't it?

You're on the right track about making fences and obsticles at home to practice on - but the only way to get over this for the both of you, is time in the saddle and exposure. 

Ride On.


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## StormyBlues (Dec 31, 2008)

I couldn't live without my own trailer! I am such an organized freak, I hate people tuching and moving my stuff!


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## Hoofprints in the Sand (Nov 23, 2008)

MIEventer said:


> HITS, don't worry about - we all have to have good experiences and learning experiences. I've had my share. But you did well, you got her over the stone wall solidly, so be proud of yourself.
> 
> I want to commend you for aknowledging your errors to create the mishap at the tires, remember, that's a sign of a good rider! When I drop Nelson or stop riding, Nelson quits too, and he's gone Prelim - so now you know how to be that much better of a rider for your horse.
> 
> ...


Thanks MIEventer!! Oh and they posted the results online finally...found out that out of 13 people in my level I would have been first place had I stayed on!!! Makes me happy to know that we did that well but ANGRY at the same time because one silly tire jump screwed the ENTIRE thing up! :evil:


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## StormyBlues (Dec 31, 2008)

^exactly how I felt at my last trial! the funny thing was, all but one person got eleminated! So only one person got the ribbon!


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## eventerdrew (Mar 13, 2009)

alright i dont know how to put this so i am just going to say it... please dont take offense. I am really worried that you are focusing too much on your placing. When you get into USEA competitions you cant expect to place high because competition is fierce. i am only saying this because in my experience, horse people start to resent those who are focused on winning. and I sure dont want people to think that way about you! again please dont take offense. its just how i feel


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## kathryn (Jan 16, 2009)

Well I mean I didn't get that feeling, I feel like she is a bit upset about how close she was (who wouldn't be) , I know I get upset), but mostly she seems to care about Sandie and her comfort level and her own riding skills to help Sandie through the course.


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## eventerdrew (Mar 13, 2009)

of course she does! and i know that. it just concerned me that she mentioned it so many times. I knew it would come out wrong *smacks hand on forhead*


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## Hoofprints in the Sand (Nov 23, 2008)

kathryn has it exactly right eventerdrew, and no I did not take offense, you bring up a VERY good point!  It's not that I'm focused on the ribbon 100% and nothing else (although c'mon it's our first season and we've never shown before in our lives so of COURSE we want some!! haha) ...with every show, Sandie and I both gain experience that is wonderful for us!! And from this show, I took away that we had a GREAT dressage test so we're obviously getting stronger and the hard work is paying off there.

But just as kathryn said, it's SO very frustrating to be so close to first place (or placing at ALL for that matter!) and then getting knocked out of the competition altogether because of 1 little jump! I would have been happy with last place as long as we tried our best, but the big "E" is like saying "thanks for spending all day here, but now it's like you never even came, you don't get to place at ALL" which is extra frustrating when you're 1st place until that point! lol

Also this course was a sore spot for us anyway because as you know, our first show was at this place and the SAME thing happened with the rock jump...so we went home, built one, got over it, came back to conquer things and then it happens with a TIRE jump that they threw in! So the whole situation was just frustrating, I'm sure most people would have felt the same. 

But to your point, eventerdrew, you are 100% spot on that it isn't all about winning, esp at these schooling shows. The point is to gain experience at these, and it's great that we're doing that. BUUUUT I'm naturally competitive so of COURSE I'm going to want a ribbon every time, why else would I compete?! ;-) But I'm CERTAINLY not the type of person to go bad mouthing or putting down others, or discouraging them. I'm the first person at these events to complement others' horses, tell them Good Luck, tell them WOW great test, etc etc. So no worries, I'm not one of "those horsepeople" who will run over everyone in their path to get a ribbon!!


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## StormyBlues (Dec 31, 2008)

^I totally know how you feel about the fact of them changing jumps! At the fall horse trails last year, they had the wine barrel jump, which was just 3 half barrels put side to side. This year they put them up on a pedistal type thing which raised the jump a good 4"! AND widened the spread! I was so ticked!


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## 1dog3cats17rodents (Dec 7, 2007)

Haha, I know that feeling HITS. My least favorite ribbon is 2nd. I'm fine with 1st, 3rd, 7th, nothing, whatever as long as I felt I did well, but I HATE seconds. In hunter shows, you get a small prize (brush, bucket, glass, bag, etc.) for first. It seems so annoying to be sooooooo close to getting something and missing out! Last show, Ben got EIGHT seconds! I mean 8, really? What are the chances of 8 seconds and only one first? In different classes and different days too, humphh


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## MIEventer (Feb 15, 2009)

> alright i dont know how to put this so i am just going to say it... please dont take offense. I am really worried that you are focusing too much on your placing. When you get into USEA competitions you cant expect to place high because competition is fierce. i am only saying this because in my experience, horse people start to resent those who are focused on winning. and I sure dont want people to think that way about you! again please dont take offense. its just how i feel


I agree, I even said that in my last post.


> But to your point, eventerdrew, you are 100% spot on that it isn't all about winning, esp at these schooling shows. The point is to gain experience at these, and it's great that we're doing that. BUUUUT I'm naturally competitive so of COURSE I'm going to want a ribbon every time, why else would I compete?! :wink: But I'm CERTAINLY not the type of person to go bad mouthing or putting down others, or discouraging them. I'm the first person at these events to complement others' horses, tell them Good Luck, tell them WOW great test, etc etc. So no worries, I'm not one of "those horsepeople" who will run over everyone in their path to get a ribbon!! :smile:


See, when you say the word "but" you've wiped out everything of importance that you said prior to it. "But" this is my excuse to why I think the way I think. Get what I mean?

This has nothing to do with you bashing others who place ahead of you - you are totally not that type of perosn. What Eventerdrew and I are trying to say is that you have to stop making the ribbon and placings your focus. It isn't about that at all. It isn't about getting the blue ribbon or the red - not at all........what it is about, or what it should be about is the experience between your horse and you. Working together as a team and accomplishing tasks together.

When you start climbing the ladder and getting to higher levels - and start branching into USEA Recognized Shows - you are going to be up against a bunch of really tough cookies, and I guarantee that you are going to have allot of dissapointments if you make placing a priority.

I agree, placing top 5 in Eventing is a great feeling, heck even when I get 1st it feels fabulous - but you cannot make it your prime directive.

The way you talk, it comes across as it being your prime directive.

And we are both worried for you, because we care for you.


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## Hoofprints in the Sand (Nov 23, 2008)

Wow, I must say I'm kinda shocked at this, I really am. You two are making it sound like all I care about is the blue ribbon and if I don't get it I'm going to throw in the towel or something lol!! Trust me, I KNOW getting a blue ribbon isn't everything you show for....BUT placing and winning ribbons is part of competition. I think kathryn, stormy, and 1dog3cats are right on with how I feel. (well, except I like 2nd place, that's fine with me, really ANY placement is!)

*Ok, I'll try to explain my frustration another way and perhaps everyone will understand...*

See, to me, as long as I get a score of something, ANYTHING, I'm cool. Whether that be 1st, 2nd, 7th, 9th, 13th, 100th, whatever, but getting ELIMINATED is what frustrates me. Not what color ribbon I get (or don't get!) With these mini trials, they changed the rules this year (because the World rules changed I guess). They used to penalize you 60 pts for falling, so you'd pretty much be in last place if you did (well, unless someone else fell too!) but at least you placed SOMEWHERE. But this year the rules changed to instant elimination. 

So it's not necessarily the placement I'm worried about, it's finishing! That's really all we're in it for...finishing safely! Now, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't at least a little competitive and want to place 1st or top 3 or whatever, really who doesn't?! Why compete if you don't care at ALL about placing? But it's just frustrating to do so well in dressage, do great in staduim, then get through 10 jumps in x-c and throw it all out the window at the last one, you know?

I don't know many people who wouldn't feel the same way in this situation. I'm really kind of amazed at the way this thread has turned out to be honest with you :-( And disappointed that you two are taking it this way.


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## Hoofprints in the Sand (Nov 23, 2008)

PS...there is one other reason why placing at this show was of significance for me. I didn't really want to bring it up at first, but changed my mind today, and you'll see why...

My uncle, who is the world's kindest, sweetest man, has been battling cancer for about a year now. Several weeks ago, he was told he had a couple days left, and he was put into Hospice for his final days. One thing that really perked him up was looking through a scrapbook I have started of Sandie and I at our shows, at the barn, etc. 

Last time I went to see him, I was telling him about Grand River and how we fell off at our first show, but that we've been practicing and I've been learning how to stay back and stay on better, and we built a rock jump to practice on so we wouldn't repeat that at the next show! I told him I was going to go and try my best to get a blue ribbon in his honor, which he was very excited about. With the dressage training and jumping we've been doing, I thought I had a pretty good shot at it too.

We were all told by the doctors that he'd be gone before my show though, but I knew he'd have a front row seat there if that was the case. Well, he hung on...he hung on and although he couldn't be at my show because he was so sick, I was SO charged up and determined to bring home that ribbon and show him before he passed. So when I was first after dressage I was so excited...and when I fell I felt like I let him down.

I know he would never have seen it that way, he wasn't that type of person, he would have been proud of us no matter what, but I'm just explaining how I FELT about it.

Today he lost his battle with cancer. I know he's in a better place now, and I'm happy he isn't suffering anymore. So please, all I'm asking is for those of you who have been jumping to some conclusions about my motives and feelings to consider this. Sometimes you don't know the entire situation, and it really hurts to be made to feel like all you care about is a stupid ribbon, when what you really feel has so much more meaning behind it.

I know you guys didn't know that, so I'm not angry with you...I just wanted to share so that hopefully you can understand. Sorry if I've upset anyone :-(


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## eventerdrew (Mar 13, 2009)

i wasnt trying to say you were putting winning before everything else... i was just telling you how it sounded. i really didnt want you to get frusterated by my comment but i knew it might. Trust me, i know how it feels to be frustrated about eventing. you know how many times i have gone into showjumping in first and come out in second? Five! haha. It does suck knowing you were so close but i just didnt want you to dwell on it too much. you guys are doing amazing together so i didnt want you to get down on yourself because of elimination. again, sorry if it offended you. i didnt intend to make you upset =[


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## eventerdrew (Mar 13, 2009)

and i am so sorry to hear about your uncle. My grandfather lost his battle with Liver cancer three years ago. I'm with ya =[


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## Hoofprints in the Sand (Nov 23, 2008)

eventerdrew said:


> and i am so sorry to hear about your uncle. My grandfather lost his battle with Liver cancer three years ago. I'm with ya =[


Thanks drew, and so sorry to hear about your grandfather too :-( It's so hard watching them battle it like that...


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## Hoofprints in the Sand (Nov 23, 2008)

eventerdrew said:


> i wasnt trying to say you were putting winning before everything else... i was just telling you how it sounded. i really didnt want you to get frusterated by my comment but i knew it might. Trust me, i know how it feels to be frustrated about eventing. you know how many times i have gone into showjumping in first and come out in second? Five! haha. It does suck knowing you were so close but i just didnt want you to dwell on it too much. you guys are doing amazing together so i didnt want you to get down on yourself because of elimination. again, sorry if it offended you. i didnt intend to make you upset =[


Your last comment "I didn't want you to get down on yourself because of elimination"...had you said that to me in the first place, I would have completely understood the point you were trying to make.

The reason I got a little irritated is because of again the theme in the first part of this response...that you came in second when you were in first and were frustrated. While I can understand that frustration, I in that case would have been completely happy with second. (In fact, that's what happened to me at my third show and I was just excited to finish without getting eliminated or anything!!) My problem with this entire thread is that from what you and MIEventer have been saying to me, it was making it seem like I will get upset and down on myself unless I place in the ribbons.

That is not the case at all. The only time I will get upset (and down on myself in this particular case just because of the specific circumstance mentioned above) is when I get ELIMINATED completely and don't finish at ALL with ANY place (ribbons or no ribbons, 1st or 13th place doesn't matter to me). See, I came from the Triathlon world...and in Tri, the only time you get "eliminated" is when you don't finish the race...it's called "DNF" (did not finish) in that world, but same feeling. So to me, getting eliminated feels like we didn't finish, we didn't even complete it. Do you understand what I mean about that?

I get what you and MIEventer are saying about not doing it just for the ribbons. What it seems like no one is hearing though is that I'm not. I'm in it to complete it safely with Sandie, no matter where we place. But when we get eliminated completely, that's not what we're going for at all, and it gets extremely frustrating when you get first place in dressage so you know you're doing very well, and then end up with an elimination. 

Again, I'm not sure who wouldn't be even just a little bit disappointed about that. 

And again, I'll mention that I'm not angry with you. Maybe a little disappointed in the responses here from you and MIEventer, because it seems like my words have been getting twisted (esp MIEventer's comment "the way you talk, it comes across as your prime directive"). I don't agree with it at all, and I'm really just sorry that you two saw it that way. I guess it just goes to show that no matter how you think you know someone, you can't truly get to know them on a forum like this I guess, since your words can be taken the wrong way a lot :-(


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## savvylover112 (Jul 17, 2009)

hey its ok it happens to everyone at some point


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## Hoofprints in the Sand (Nov 23, 2008)

Thanks savvy, I know we'll get over it and move on...we have another show this weekend so we've already stopped dwelling on it and are now focused on completing this one without an elimination!


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## MIEventer (Feb 15, 2009)

I am sorry to hear about your loved one's battle of cancer. My Mothers side *she has ...well, had 24 brothers and sisters* and cancer is the main cause of death on her side. I've watched a few Aunts and Uncles die slowly of cancer, it is a horrible disease for anyone to have to go through.

See HITS, I'm proud of all of your accomplishments, I didn't want to come across as being mean either, but I just worried about your train of thought with the comps.

I totally understand your frustration of getting Eliminated - but be proud of yourself because 1) You knew it was your fault 2) You know what you are going to work on next time - you have a goal......

Those two in itself is a huge accomplishment

And that, is what Eventing is about. You have a goal for your next comp, staying over Sandie, staying behind your horse and driving forward. That in itself is a huge accomplishment to succeed in what you set out to conqour.

I have walked into the Stadium Ring, 1st place - and due to my stupid errors, we end up 4th or 5th. I've done that quite a few times. Oh my gosh. I hate it, because I get over confident and then flub up. It happens, but the next time I am at a comp, I know I have to ride every step with the belief that every inch is just as important as the last. 

I remember back in my Pony Club days, I came off out on CC a few times as well, because I would get ahead of my horse. But you have to get up and keep going. 

The reason why I said "the way you talk" is because I hear you say in past posts "I almost had that blue", or "Yes I see what you are saying, but I was almost on that podium" *don't quote me word for word, but you get what I mean* I know it is hard to get what you want to say exactly when you are typing on a computer screen - I do it all the time. My brain is saying one thing and then somehow along the line from getting it onto the computer....what I wanted to say doesn't come out at all how I meant. 

I get misinterpreted at being rude or mean, but I really am not - I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am the type of person who would take my shirt off my back if I knew someone needed it - but that is how it comes across on the computer screen because I am not so eloquant with words.

So I understand where you are saying you were misinterpreted - easy to happen on forums. Especially when you don't get to see a face, face expressions, hear the tone of voice, and body language. 

There is going to be allot of failures out there, but without those, you don't learn. Without the mistakes and the faults and the errors, you wont beable to mould into an educated, experienced rider that you want to be.

You have to have the Elimintations - to stop and say "Ok, now I know how to fix this". Without Sandie teaching you to stay behind her at the base of the fence, I guarantee you'd of continued to jump ahead.

I for one am super proud that you are able to learn these riding lessons - because when you get to bigger and harder fences in the Eventing World, you will most definately have to stay behind your horse. *I am not talking about getting left behind, I am saying riding more defensively/solidly/over your horse, not ahead*

I think you have come along way, and for that - be very proud of both you and Sandie. I for one am.


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## Hoofprints in the Sand (Nov 23, 2008)

Thank you MIEventer. I know you're not a mean person, and I didn't take it that way. I just felt like I was really being unfairly interpreted. I don't want anyone, least of all you, to think that I'm only in it to win ribbons. That IS a nice bonus and of course one of the reasons to compete (otherwise I would just go to schooling days and not compete at all, it's much cheaper!) ;-) 

But it's not the world to me, and I certainly don't want to come across that way to anyone. It is difficult online because other than the smilies, there's no real way to display your emotions. I think that what you said above about getting over confident is certainly what happened to me in this case, and what got me into trouble. I was so excited about my dressage test and the fact that we'd been on this course before, that I didn't pay as much attention as I should have so when I fell it was kind of one of those "oh you MORON you knew better than that!!" kind of moments.

I hate those, but they do keep you level headed I guess! lol


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## MIEventer (Feb 15, 2009)

Yeah, if you knew me in person - you'd know me as the biggest smart **** ever, who laughs allot. I find humour in allot of things - at work, I laugh so much with my co-workers and goof around...that's who I am. 

I love to laugh and joke, and I am extremely sarcastic - I get my sense of humor from my dad. 

You know, I have faults and issues of my own, we all do - we are imperfect and human. I was just trying to reach out as a friend because I felt that you were heading down the wrong path mentally where shows were in concern - and I reached out the only way I know how on the internet. I'm not always tactful, but my real friends know I don't mean any harm by it. 

~~~~

Ah ha ha - yeah, over confidence is the worse fault us as riders can allow ourselves to emote. 

I am a rider who likes to be the first one in - regardless - doesn't matter if is a Hunter/Jumper show, a Stadium Round, a Dessage Show, or Eventing - I like to be the first one to ride, so that I can do my best without any expectations.

That way when I am done, I don't have to worry about how other are going to perform, because I'm already done. See what I mean?

When I end up being the 10th in the ring to do my Stadium Round at an Event or the 4th in the Dressage Ring or what-have-you, I end up watching and then that puts pressure on me to succeed above what those people before me did. That's when I get over confident, and that's when I screw up. 

So I really have to make it a habit to not watch any rides at all. I can't - or I'll @#$*! up! 

Not this last Event I did with Nelson, but the Event previous - I made a big boo boo. We were 5th after dressage, then 1st after CC. Walked into the stadium ring - we were the 2nd to last to ride.

All those before us, faulted up the ying yang. There was one really tight turn into a 3 jump combo that many over shot, screwing up the first fence which then screwed up the last 2 as it always goes.

So our turn was up, we got through the tight turn beautifully, rode the combo smooth as butter. Then the last 2 fences were approaching. At that moment, I was thinking it was in the bag - when I turned into the passenger instead of the rider because I was in la la land.........Nelson took the fence big, I got left behind and then thrown up ahead of him. 

I ended up on his neck when we landed. I managed to stop him and never fell off - but we shot past the next fence. Which meant that I had to cross our path to get to the last fence.

4 faults was what we ended up with - which moved us to 4th. 

I was so angry at myself for screwing up. I cried all the way home. I was so angry at my stupidity. 

So I completley understand your frustration at your error at that 1 fence on CC. BUT be thankful for it as well. Without it, you would never of learnt that lesson. I have to look back at my mistakes as well, and be thankful for them - because those are what make us better riders. Without them, we would never improve because we wouldn't know what was needed to be improved on.


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