# How to Build Confidence...



## KaleylovesCharm (Feb 15, 2012)

I have never had a confidence problem. Because the way I see it -your horse uses its instincts, so you have to give them credit for that. But if I were you I would completely start over. Meaning don't rush into riding. Get control off the ground. I know that accidents happen, it makes you a better rider. But its your choice to live your life in fear or rejoice to show that you are not afraid. Start by grooming, leading, lunging, ground work! Then you can start riding just start off slow. Get the connection back with your horse.


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## st0rmys3as (Feb 27, 2012)

I was going to start a similar thread and then saw this. I'm in the same boat so have no advice, but it's good to know I'm not the only one going through this. You're so right in saying horses are like crack once you've been involved with them once lol, I attempted to get out of horses completely, I sold all my horse gear, didn't read anything about horses, didn't talk to people who had horses and didn't miss it at all for a few months and then one day I missed it more than anything and that feeling hasn't gone away, yet at the same time I'm too scared to do anything with a horse due to extremely dangerous past experiences where I came very close to being seriously injured/killed several times.

Thanks for posting this, I'm looking forward to reading the replies


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## BlueSpark (Feb 22, 2012)

I was training a mare that was very powerful, but lazy. one day she discovered if she did a realy good imitation of a saddle bronc she could get me off(that is the one vice i really hate). from that day forward when she no longer wanted to go, i got dumped. no amount of ground work fixed it. 3 concussions, a torn shoulder and 2 cases of whiplash later, she found a new home. then i had a two year old that was 16hh and violently spooked onto my foot, breaking 2 bones. then the stallion jumped backwards from a bee sting and broke my right leg. 
i just about called it quits, but i knew some people with really well broke horses who needed them excersised. no buck, bolt or rear. so i started riding again. some days i would tack up, lunge, get on, walk 15' and get off. that was as much as i could handle. eventually i found my mare who had issues i wasnt scared of. she spooked, but didnt run, buck or rear. she had attitude, but i could handle that. i had a good friend get on her a few times so i could watch. started slow, and two years after this all happened, my confidence is back.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Wow, you have gone through a lot! I applaud your courage to get back on...that is something to be proud of, I think.
I once saw a video (wish I could remember the particulars) of a young woman that was, like you, "in her prime" in her equestrian career when she was injured (not by a horse), and paralyzed for life from the hip (or maybe both knees, can't remember) down.. Anyway, I forgot most of the video except one thing, she said that she had thought "why me?" every single day for a very long time, then one day she said, "why not me?", and with a lot of work and specially fitted saddles, she started riding again. It makes you think.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I have not experienced anything like your horrible accident. I dont' know what I'd do if I had. I know that in general, if I am helping another person, who is perhaps more afraid than I am, that I gain a measure of confidence there. And, knowing that I can work a horse on the ground helps a lot when I get in the saddle..

Is there anyplace where you could work with horse, such as a therapy center, where your experience as a horsewoman will make you a "teacher" of others?


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## mypets (Mar 2, 2012)

I'm so glad I joined this board, this is exactly my problem! I had a bad fall last year, broke some ribs and was off work for a time. I got rid of the horse that hurt me but I still haven't been able to get back up on a horse yet. Not even my old tried and true mare I've had for 10 yrs. I just have no desire to get back up there. I bought an older gelding that I felt would be much more what I needed but since he's new and I don't know what to expect from him I'm nervous about getting on him too. I don't think I should get on him in my current frame of mind either. I am looking into taking some beginner lessons, not because I don't know how to ride but because I hope that by riding under supervision I'll get to feel more comfortable and get my confidence back.


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## oceanne (Apr 13, 2012)

Dont ever loose your inspiration.


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## JumpAnOxer (Feb 10, 2011)

*Time*

I think that anyone who rides has either already had or will have that moment that will haunt the rest of their riding career if they let it. 
Getting hurt scares you because it is supposed to. Just like touching something hot burns you and causes you to instinctively pull your hand away, you're going to want to avoid things that you can cause pain. 
Your accident was very serious and you are extremely brave to have jumped back on again (no matter how long it took). To have another horse rear on you right away is really unfair to you and to your riding. 
The only thing that will help with the nerves and the fear is time. You should really look into finding an instructor that understands where you are coming from and really tell them what has happened in your past and how it makes you feel. Don't rush yourself to get back into riding. Maybe your next horse should be a horse that just needs some TLC or a foster mom to spend time with on the ground. When you are ready to get back into riding, don't be cheap about really putting money into the right horse for you. A $10k horse is way cheaper than a hospital stay. 
I've been there with confidence issues. I bought my newest horse and within 10 days was in the ER 3 different times. First time for a slight concussion, second time for a torn tendon in my finger and finally the third was with broken bones and a concussion that came with loss of consciousness. With a broken hand I was unable to ride for a few months and couldn't do much around the barn, so it took almost a year to get the confidence back with that horse and build a relationship where I could start to trust him again. 5 days ago, he spooked at the wind while I was fixing a stirrup and I fell off him again. I was nervous about getting back on and the next time I rode him, but if you let it cripple you it will never get better.
Keep your chin up and keep on taking baby steps...the confidence will come with the right help and the right horse.


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