# people judging my horse differently



## MyHorseTeddy (Nov 2, 2013)

i hope this is in the right place:?
this is kind of a rant  sorry, im just so upset about this
so, i have this *wonderful* gelding, honestly he has done so much for me, and i love him more than words can express, i think he is the greatest guy, but not many people think the same thing...

when i got him 2 years ago he was thin, was terribly head shy, had bad trust issues and was sitting in a stall for over a year without being ridden, he was so out of shape we didnt even canter him for a few months, and when we did it was not pretty, i doubted myself a lot, i thought i made the wrong decision in getting him, and i would cry because i was so overwhelmed-

then about a year after i got him he had a pretty bad colic and my entire world just stopped, we drove him to tufts which is about 2 hours away from where i live and he was there for 3 days, i have never cried more in my entire life. after the colic ordeal we kind of just clicked, i realized that he meant more to me than i even knew, and i was not going to EVER regret spending any more time with him, 2 years later he is showing, jumping and an amazing gelding.

This gelding tries SO hard to please people, he has overcome so many boundaries, but people look down on him because he was rescued, and he wasn't a show horse before i got him...he doesn't do anything wrong that should make people see him differently, i just don't understand why people judge him because of his past! he has done so much since i have gotten him, what else does he have to do to make people see him as the horse he should be seen as? not just 'that rescue that doesn't do anything'

not only is he a great horse ability wise, but also when i got him i was not in a good place, i was such an unhappy, shy and just not a nice person, i like to think we both kind of changed each other, and we both kind of got better thanks to one another(although, he helped me more than i helped him) I have him to thank for me being the person i am today, and i know i shouldn't let the fact that people don't think my horse is as much of a horse as theirs bother me, but it does, because he has gone through so much, and is such a great horse, but all anyone i seem to talk to can see in him is the fact that he didn't come from a good background.

i just dont know what to do...they judge me as a rider because i ride him (which i think is so wrong, because if i was riding a push button horse then i wouldnt learn all that i have learned while training teddy) and they judge him when he does nothing wrong...one girl even said she was afraid of him, which made me laugh, but also made me so angry

who could not love this guy?


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

The only wisdom I have is, why do you care? Enjoy what you have and live your life to the fullest of what you desire.


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## Sugar (Jan 30, 2015)

Ignore them. The world is full of ignorant people. A lot of them own horses. Don't let them get you down. 

You can try to educate them. "Why are you afraid of him?", and address what they say. "Why am I stupid for riding him?", and address what they say. If they can only say "Because he's a rescue!", then shake your head, and walk away. Save your breath for laughter and joy, waste it not on idiots.


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## dkb811 (Oct 15, 2013)

I doubt my horse would be worth two cents to anyone else.She's priceless to me! Try your best not to let it bother you. Those people are showing their character, and it doesn't sound like a good one! Your horse is adorable!


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## Textan49 (Feb 13, 2015)

I am originally from CT and I think I know the type of people you are talking about. Have you ever thought that there may be some jealousy there? I am thinking that you are quite the horsewoman to have an eye for a good horse in poor condition and then have the patience an ability to bring him along so well. That takes a lot more than just having the money to buy a top show horse. If you can't avoid these people just respond to the comments with a laugh


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## paintedpastures (Jun 21, 2011)

He is so handsome:shock:,i'd be so proud of what the 2 of you have accomplished & the bond you sound like you have It just might be others are envious of that & feel the need for put downs :-( to mask their own insecurities with their own horse relationship.


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## Cordillera Cowboy (Jun 6, 2014)

Unless you're showing in breed specific competitions, the only thing that matters is conformation and performance. The best answer to those folks is to leave them sitting in the arena on their blooded horses while you cart off the ribbons.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

as soon as you start focussing on other people's opinons, you will lose focus on your self or your own horse. Is that what you want? think about that. do you have something to GAIN from allowing yourself to spend mental energy on what OTHER people think?


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## AGraceful (Nov 16, 2014)

Heyy, dont listen to them. They dont know anything. Youvare amazng, your STUNNING and probably one of the best persons i have in my life. Teddy changed so much from when you got him, its unbelievable. Heck, he doesnt even look like the same horse!! Honestly, I think those people are jealous. Jealous because of your horse, he can probably do more then anyone, and jealous of your bond wothbhim, and jealous because your a better rider. 

I kinda get that some people are afraid of him. You took sone horrible falla on him. And his insane power trot. But just laugh it off. Dont let it get to you. Waste your time and energy on teddy, not on people who dont deserve your time of day.


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## SueC (Feb 22, 2014)

Hmmm yes, it still amazes me how many horse folk are snide and bitchy. That's a problem with their character, not with you or your horse. Well done you for taking in a horse that needed it, and putting work and care into it. He looks fine to me. Like others have said, perhaps the worst spite is coming from those who couldn't cope unless they bought horses "ready-made"... and I think another part of the problem is that some people have horses as status symbols - and dogs, and cars, etc. People who have animals as status symbols usually make much of their animals' pedigrees and fashionable breeding, and buy them all sorts of unnecessary flashy accessories. They also tend to have pretty shallow lives and be insecure and unhappy underneath their unpleasant veneers. They're certainly not interested in animals for reasons like yours or mine or many other respondents here.

Be on the lookout for genuinely nice people to ride with and hang around - and don't waste your energy on negative people. Take care!


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## jenkat86 (May 20, 2014)

He's a beautiful boy and he's lucky to have you. The nay-sayers will just make you like your horse even more 

I've been through the same thing. I have a 27 year old mare who pulled me out of a dark place. I don't ride her anymore. She's just enjoying retirement...People don't understand why I "throw my money away" with her. "She should have gone to the glue factory a long time ago!" But I love the little nod we give each other in the mornings. That to me is worth 10,000 riding horses.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

Jealousy falls out of people's mouths as mean words. At an open show years ago there was a farmer in his overalls, a work horse and a lad of 14. The lad was entered in a jumping class on this horse, up against some tough competition. You should have heard the comments, not to them, but others, as the duo warmed up. The horse was a dark bay and his coat gleamed like one rarely sees. They rode almost last. The two of them flew over the jumps at great speed and never touched a rail. They also took home a nice cheque and trophy. They did this consistently all summer.


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## Textan49 (Feb 13, 2015)

Saddlebag said:


> Jealousy falls out of people's mouths as mean words. At an open show years ago there was a farmer in his overalls, a work horse and a lad of 14. The lad was entered in a jumping class on this horse, up against some tough competition. You should have heard the comments, not to them, but others, as the duo warmed up. The horse was a dark bay and his coat gleamed like one rarely sees. They rode almost last. The two of them flew over the jumps at great speed and never touched a rail. They also took home a nice cheque and trophy. They did this consistently all summer.


 As a teenager I worked at a hack stable. There was an older horse there with terrible confirmation and a "not so pretty head" He was great with beginner riders but also had the ability to jump anything he had a mind to (out of stalls and paddocks etc)
A show was coming up and because the date fell before the big A rated show at the hunt club, many "better" riders used it as a schooling show. One of the local trail riders wanted to enter the old gelding in the jumper classes . . . . Guess who went clean round after clean round and beat all the expensive horses.


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## Textan49 (Feb 13, 2015)

jenkat86 said:


> He's a beautiful boy and he's lucky to have you. The nay-sayers will just make you like your horse even more
> 
> I've been through the same thing. I have a 27 year old mare who pulled me out of a dark place. I don't ride her anymore. She's just enjoying retirement...People don't understand why I "throw my money away" with her. "She should have gone to the glue factory a long time ago!" But I love the little nod we give each other in the mornings. That to me is worth 10,000 riding horses.


 And give the old girl a nod from me the next morning


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

The love of my life was a 1600 lb draft mule that was not anything like the beautiful, purebred, papered TWHs everyone else at my stable had. 
His nickname around the barn was "Turtle" because he was slow as molasses under saddle. I don't think I ever saw him trot once in the time he was with me. His "spook" range was about a foot and a half. But he helped pull me out of a place in my life where I was basically agoraphobic and extremely depressed. I was lucky to have him for the time I did, and I miss him to this day. 

I'm sure he would have bored the heck out of anyone else, but he was my baby and I loved him dearly. Other people cannot fathom the connections we've got to our animals, and the work and worry we put into them. 

Next time someone gives you guff about it, you can simply look at them and say "He's been a friend to me, and so I shall be a friend to him. And we don't abandon our friends."


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

After an absence of several weeks it was so nice to come home to horses that apparently missed me. One loves a face rub while the other a lip scratch and I was happy to cater to them.


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## LadyDreamer (Jan 25, 2008)

Even if all he did was lick fence boards and give people the crazy eye, all that will ever matter will be how you feel about him.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## loosie (Jun 19, 2008)

Ditto to others. It's their problem, so don't let it become yours!


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

If I went to my wise mother complaining that people were talking about me or something of mine, she would say, "if they are having a go/talking about you, they are leaving someone else alone."

Don't raise to their baiting, just prove them wrong.

He has a lovely head and eye on him, be proud of what the two of you have achieved.


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## kewpalace (Jul 17, 2013)

I showed reined cowhorse on an ARAB ... talk about people talking about my horse, LOL. But she was the only horse I could ride in it, I couldn't afford a QH and she loved it. So I ignored the comments and concentrated on improving us both. A few years later, we won the very first Spirit award (for sportsmanship and horsemanship) that our association gave out and have gotten a LOT of great comments from people who used to make unkind ones. Long story short - believe in your horse and yourself, ignor the naysayers and go out and have FUN!


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## Smilie (Oct 4, 2010)

I agree, why do you care?
You have great satisfaction of what you have accomplished with this horse, enjoy him, etc, so why let those opinions bother you


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

Wow, nice people at your barn. Ignore them. He's a beautiful horse who you've given a very good life he otherwise would not have had. Maybe switch to an eventing barn. The people are much nicer...even in Connecticut.


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## MyHorseTeddy (Nov 2, 2013)

thanks for all the replies  makes me feel better about it all..


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## Sugar (Jan 30, 2015)

MyHorseTeddy said:


> thanks for all the replies  makes me feel better about it all..


And you're not alone in being bothered, you know. I get SO flustered when I hear mustangs put down (have had three, including my present mare). I have to work seriously hard at calming myself, and remembering that their opinions have no bearing. Still, even now.


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## stevenson (Sep 12, 2011)

Ignore them.. Improve your horse and yourself, go beat them in the shows, that Will give them something to talk about .


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## Dustbunny (Oct 22, 2012)

Ignore stupid jerks. They probably could not accomplish what you have done with a difficult horse.
You have learned a ton, the horse is greatly improved...good job!
You are a horsewoman. They are pea brains.


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## Cordillera Cowboy (Jun 6, 2014)

Sugar said:


> And you're not alone in being bothered, you know. I get SO flustered when I hear mustangs put down (have had three, including my present mare). I have to work seriously hard at calming myself, and remembering that their opinions have no bearing. Still, even now.


No point getting bothered by it. I was mostly amused by folks reactions when I had a mustang. Our barn caters to recreational trail riders and many of them are novice riders. Mine was over 20, dead broke and a real work horse. Folks tended to act like she was a man eater. Many would back away from her slowly when they found out. The funniest was an adult yelling at a kid in the pasture "Get out of there! That's a MUSTANG!!"


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## anndankev (Aug 9, 2010)

jenkat86 said:


> ...That to me is worth 10,000 riding horses.





Saddlebag said:


> Jealousy falls out of people's mouths as mean words. ...





Textan49 said:


> And give the old girl a nod from me ...





Mulefeather said:


> ... His "spook" range was about a foot and a half. ...
> 
> ... "He's been a friend to me, and so I shall be a friend to him. And we don't abandon our friends."





Saddlebag said:


> ... so nice to come home to horses that apparently missed me. ...





Foxhunter said:


> ... "if they are having a go/talking about you, they are leaving someone else alone."...





Dustbunny said:


> Ignore stupid jerks. ...
> 
> ... You are a horsewoman. They are pea brains.


Wow, there have been so many good one=liners in this thread I wish I started collecting them (MQ) on page 1.


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## Exotic (Dec 29, 2014)

I totally can relate MyHorseTeddy. My horse didn't come from a rescue, but did come from a not so great barn. We have never been part of a big show barn and when we show or just ride daily people and judges always snear and act like we are nothing since we don't have a big name. It can be really hard because you don't meet the requirements in their mind of a good rider or horse so therefore you are nothing. At my barn the owner dislikes us, she doesn't say it but I can tell, and whenever my horse does something she rants about it. Her horse does it and it's ok and cute. So stupid. To bad we aren't at the same barn and we could be riding buddies! I have not had a good riding buddy some quite a few years now, very much hoping to get my own place someday so I and my horse can be at peace. Keep enjoying your boy! Could even join a nice facebook group where you can boast on the love you have with your horse or just a fun ride or time you had with him that day.


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

I like the comments that people have made about "prove those people wrong." There are so many ways you can excel, especially if you spend a lot of time with your horse, which you obviously do. If your horse is good at showing, you can line up the ribbons outside his stall door. Or participate in gymkhanas or game shows if that is your style. Then there is drill team . . . or polocrosse, mounted shooting, cowboy polo, obstacle challenge, competitive trail riding. When I was a teen, I used to do demonstrations at horse shows riding without a saddle or bridle in a figure 8 over jumps. 
If you don't have a trailer, you can just race your friends and win . . . or teach your horse awesome tricks. On You Tube, I've seen some amazing obedience trials like dogs do, but with horses. The horse gallops out into the field, jumps, turns, stops, backs, all by watching the hand signals of the owner. Or you can get a group of friends together, cut out arm and head holes in pillowcases, wear some tights, and put on a little jousting show.
And if none of those things appeal to you, if the only thing that really matters to you is to meander down a trail with your buddy, then listen to everyone's excellent advice, and ignore the snotty comments.


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## TakeTwoBasket (Mar 11, 2015)

I have been there. My 17 year old tb was a rescue off the track. When I got her she was 2 1/2 years old. she had staph infection and her rear hind leg was the size of a stove pipe. she was also an abuse case and she was afraid of everything and slightly crazy. 

she would spoke at nothing and I spent years working through issues. we had good days and bad days. everyone told me she was crazy! Sell Her! get a new horse with less issues. she isn't worth anything. but whenever I walked into the barn she screamed for me. if I greeted her in the pasture she came running at the first sound of my voice. she would press her muzzle into my hands or chest and just inhale me. she needed me. so I stuck it out. 

fast forward 15 years Dina (my tb) is now 17 years old and a wonderful equine citizen. she is a mother figure to my 3 yr old warmblood. she still screams at me when I walk in the barn. still looks for that contact, stills presses close to me. 

She has been a fantastic partner and friend. She is my BEST friend, the keeper of my secrets, the shoulder that I lean on. she is amazing. anyone who knew her when she was younger now is amazed at her progress. they call her unrecognizable. she has boxes of ribbons in my room, medals, trophies. 

Still even with the progress she has made and the accolades she holds I still get comments "I never would have kept her" "you cant train crazy" "you must have gotten lucky because she was a lost case" "she should have been put down years ago"

the ones that really get me "well she was good for awhile but now she is retired so get rid of her don't waste your money" "she is worthless now"

when I was younger these comments had the power to destroy me. Now I just shake my head and laugh. I would never trade her for anything in the world. some find it silly but at 13 years old I sat in my Dina's stall and held her head in my hands and whispered my plans for our future. I prayed for a way to help her deal with the world and move beyond her past. and I promised with all the love and fervor of a teenager in love that she would never ever find herself in the hands of abusers again. I would be her last home. her forever home. its been a long rode and one I hope will continue for a long time to come but I will keep my promise. I meant it then and I still mean it now. she is my forever horse.

Hug your boy and whisper your sweet nothings to him. I can guarantee you whatever anybody else says he only has ears for you. treasure that because in the end that's all that matters.


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## Textan49 (Feb 13, 2015)

Cordillera Cowboy said:


> No point getting bothered by it. I was mostly amused by folks reactions when I had a mustang. Our barn caters to recreational trail riders and many of them are novice riders. Mine was over 20, dead broke and a real work horse. Folks tended to act like she was a man eater. Many would back away from her slowly when they found out. The funniest was an adult yelling at a kid in the pasture "Get out of there! That's a MUSTANG!!"


 I have had people say they can't understand WHY I would have a Thoroughbred or how I could possibly LIKE Arabians. Somehow their preferences are more important than mine?


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## Palomine (Oct 30, 2010)

MyHorseTeddy said:


> who could not love this guy?



OH love this horse. That flattened spot on his forehead is what I want to see, good mind, kind horse, and smart too.

Excellent horse you have. I saw him and actually jumped in my chair, he is a very, very good horse.

You are very lucky to have him indeed.

Congratulations on being his owner.


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## speedy da fish (May 7, 2009)

All that matters is that you seem to have a great horse who you have a great relationship with. Having that is far better than a fancy horse you have no bond with. You'll enjoy riding more and that's what it's all about.


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## MyHorseTeddy (Nov 2, 2013)

Palomine said:


> OH love this horse. That flattened spot on his forehead is what I want to see, good mind, kind horse, and smart too.
> 
> Excellent horse you have. I saw him and actually jumped in my chair, he is a very, very good horse.
> 
> ...


reading that just made my day


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## KNRaines (Mar 27, 2015)

That is a GORGEOUS GELDING!! 
I just read your post and I am honestly moved to tears. What a beautiful soul you and Teddy must share to be able to help each other through so much. I know how much it hurts when people say mean/ misinformed things, and having a big heart like you do only makes it that much worse.
Here is my advice- Hold your head high because YOU are obviously the superior horsewoman. You were able to rehabilitate and train Teddy and are now competing with him! That's fantastic and I'm sure these snotty girls are 100% jealous of the strides you are making with him and how far you have both come. I know it's hard, but keep on doing what you're doing and ignore anyone who says you can't finish on top. You have support all over the country!! 
Good luck and sugar cubes for Teddy!!


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## livelovelaughride (Sep 13, 2011)

Don't let people engage you in their mean comments. Cut them off, don't feel the need to defend. You have a very handsome gelding with a kind eye, and I bet the most amazing of bonds. They are likely jealous of your achievements.


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## crazeepony (Dec 8, 2013)

Have you seen this video? Make sure you read the epilogue at the bottom that explains more. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-sPVJjV9TA
Anyone can BUY a decent horse but it is a gift to rehab one.


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## MaximasMommy (Sep 21, 2013)

crazeepony said:


> Have you seen this video? Make sure you read the epilogue at the bottom that explains more. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-sPVJjV9TA
> Anyone can BUY a decent horse but it is a gift to rehab one.


DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

My horse was condemned to pasture companion for years before someone took him on as a project horse, flipped him on craigslist, and that's where me and my trainer picked him up. He went from a spooky horse that no one wanted to ride to my dressage babysitter. A horse shouldn't be a status symbol, they should be your partner!


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## DraftyAiresMum (Jun 1, 2011)

I have a draft cross in the land of working QHs and halter Arabs. The Scottsdale World Arab Show is literally about two hours away from my front door. 

I've had people literally walk away from the conversation when I mention that I have a draft cross. "He's too big and slow to be of any use." "Look at how coarse he is!" "The only thing he's got going for him is his color." I've pretty much heard it all. 

I just laugh at people when they make comments about him. Yes, he's big (17hh and 1600+lbs). Yes, he prefers to go slow. Coarse? Well, compared to your spindly seahorse of an Arab, yes, he is coarse. No, his color is NOT the only thing going for him. He's also kind, gentle, forgiving, intelligent, loving, and just generally a big, derpy boy without a mean bone in his body. He loves little kids, dogs, pigs, Cheetos and tropical Skittles. He lets the 14hh appy he's turned out with boss him around and beat the crap out of him. 

What really gets people, though, is when they see me take him out of the turnout. They apparently expect him to be bargey, pushy, and ridiculously difficult to handle on the ground. Imagine their surprise when I walk along with him respectfully at my shoulder and I'm not paying one bit of attention to him because I know he knows where he's supposed to be. I let my BO's six-year-old lead him one day and, after a wide-eyed "It's so little, Mom!" look at me, he followed her like the well-trained boy he is. She even had him backing up by just stepping toward him (he's notoriously difficult to back up from the ground sometimes). 

My point is, you know exactly how amazing your horse is. Forget other people and what they think they know. They don't know you, they don't know your horse, and they don't know your journey. Next time someone makes a comment about him, just smile and say "You don't know him like I know him" and walk away.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

When I was starting horses and ponies for a living, the owner had one horse he tried to keep hidden from the public. This horse stood over 16hh and conformation wise was the ugliest horse I'd ever laid eyes on. His head wasn't attractive and it looked like someone whacked him on the butt with a grain shovel. His big feet were like pie plates. I got the word to put some miles on him. He'd been at a livery stable so knew a trick or two. Once we got past the gate he easily moved thro the trot into the canter and this boy floated. He was a fantastic ride and smooth. I was never so sorry in my life that I had no where to keep him if I bo't him. The owner wanted him gone off the property, my place of employ and where I lived.


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