# Just having fun. Should I feel guilty?



## leapoffaithfarm (Jun 26, 2009)

Coming from someone that has done just what you are thinking about ... dont feel gulity. I had shown horses for almost 30 years and then I just decided one day that i just have had enough and want some time to just enjoy my horses and not stress about the shows. So i took 3 years where i just did not show at all. Now i have gotten back to showing a bit but nothing more than a local school show series that is around here and when i go i have so much more fun. I am not competing to win but just to enjoy myself.


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## Speed Racer (Oct 21, 2009)

Why did you get into riding? If you say, "because I enjoy it", then why would you continue on a path that makes you unhappy and unable to enjoy riding your horse?

If you think you have to 'prove something', then start competitive trail riding. If you're burned out with the whole competition thing, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with simply riding for pleasure. 

Your HORSE doesn't have goals and aspirations, YOU do. All she wants is something that will keep her happy and interested.

As far as TBs sucking at trail, you're incorrect. Certain horses may be unfit for it because of their mentality, but many more TBs love trail riding and do very well. You're showing the same prejudice about TBs that you say you hate when it's turned on your QH. _ All _of you need to stop with the snobbery. Each horse has their own talents, even if it's not something for which you personally care.


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## sammerson (Jan 13, 2012)

For me personally, the ONLY reason I have my horses is to enjoy them. I don't show them or participate in any sports, we may play around with certain disciplines just for fun but we never take it seriously at all. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with those who DO take things like hunting and dressage and everything else seriously, it's just not for me.

I feel like I can appreciate my horse more if we can just do what we want to and not worry about what the judges think. If that's what makes you happy, then I say do it, and don't feel guilty about it!


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## DressageIsToDance (Jun 10, 2010)

Speed Racer, I did say not that OTTBs can't make goods trail horses...then I typoed the next line, but it was supposed to say that his being an OTTB was not what made him unsuitable to ride on trails. My saying what I said was basically irritation that had built up over time and I wrongfully couldn't resist the opportunity to say something snarky.

And being so defensive and hostile about things is why I feel like I need to go do something different, even if it's just for a little while.


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## goneriding (Jun 6, 2011)

So, do something different, like maybe a trail ride or two. In your job you need to do something relaxing outside work in order have some type of balance. Horses need a break from work too. I think it would be a healthy choice going on a trail ride, for both of you. You would be surprised how relaxing it can be with your horse on trail.


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

I'm a relatively new rider who knows nothing of training horses.

But when I started leasing a horse I decided that her life with me would not consist of living in boxes (the stall and the school). 

Unless footing is unsafe, at least one day on the weekend is set aside to hack on the barns trail system. To let us both relax mentally. To let her see and feel what it's like to really be a horse within the confines of a domesticated animal.

It doesn't have to be either or.

Ratchet down your competitive focus a notch or two but don't abandon it. Increase your time with your horse out in the country. Ride correctly, but ride away from the school.

Or take a sabbatical from competition and return refreshed.

Just my thoughts on the matter.


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## kait18 (Oct 11, 2011)

cheer up butter cup... (hahaha i have always wanted to say that to someone... so no offense was ment by it) 
take a break you will be able to tell in about a week or two whether you want to continue showing or just enjoy leisure trail rides... either way try to have fun again.isn't that the point of having horses


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## IslandWave (Nov 25, 2009)

I think you should only feel guilty if you're not having fun. 
Just my two cents!


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## attackships (Jan 12, 2012)

i have never done anything close to competing in my life. i have a lot of fun with my horses though, usually on trails. I also enjoy schooling in the arena regularly so that both of us could freshen up our skills. 

If you feel frustrated by competing than give yourself a break! It's not "giving up," especially if you feel like its getting in the way of your relationship with your horse. Seems like showing is addictive though, maybe once you have more fun you'll be ready to get back into it


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

Can't you do both? My day prior exercise before a dressage test involves hauling butt through the woods and surrounding fields. It refreshes his mind, lets up both have a lot of fun, and it always gives that extra bit of forward at the show. 

If you truly are showing just because you feel like you're just supposed to, I wouldn't waste your time or money. Maybe take a season off, go have some fun, and see if the show bug hits you. If it ain't fun, why do it?


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## Shefff (Jan 30, 2010)

This is exactly why I have two horses...

I have a Peruvian Paso and all I do with him is FUN trail riding, going through creeks, "off-road" stuff. I'm hardly ever in an arena with him. 
I also have an App/Oldenburg mare that I use for my disciplined ridings, mostly in an arena. 

I've got the best of both worlds, but I'm also lucky enough to be board my horses at a very affordable rate. If you can afford it, maybe you should purchase a trail horse.


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## NC Trail Rider (Oct 24, 2011)

I think you should take some time off from shows. Have fun, trail ride and discover new things. Even on the trails you can learn new things and 'work', like running patterns through trees, jumping over fallen trees, backing up, running up and down hills etc. Once you had a change of scenery you both will be ready to 'work' again! 
The BO where I took lessons always tried to have his lesson horses go on occasional trail rides to keep them happy and healthy. 
Where in NC are you? I'm near Raleigh.


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## thesilverspear (Aug 20, 2009)

I showed dressage pretty seriously for about five or six years before hitting the Second Level wall and deciding I was crap at it. To improve substantially, I'd would have had to invest a lot more time and money into training and eventually think about upgrading my horse. And perhaps drink more, as I'd get so wound up in tests that I'd forget how to ride. Given what I wanted to be doing with my life wasn't that and I also was far too attached to this particular horse to sell her, none of the above was going to happen. I quit, which undoubtedly delighted my horse as I became much less of a grumpy, bad-tempered git for her to deal with. Best decision I ever made. I wasn't enjoying my horse or riding anymore, but when I quit showing, like seven years ago, all the fun came back into riding. I still school dressage for my own amusement because I'm addicted to the feeling of the horse collecting and using herself but there's no pressure now. 

The way I looked at it was that why spend over $100 for a weekend to be miserable and ****ed off when one can be miserable for free, or better yet, have fun for free. There's no law that says anyone who owns or rides a horse must show, although at some barns it certainly feels as if there is. 

No guilt. Was I backing out because I sucked at it and "things were getting too hard?" Definitely. Still, you have to decide what your priorities are and what makes you happy. For some, it's serious competition and moving up the levels but that is far from the only way to enjoy horses. It's totally fine to passionately dislike that and still do stuff with your horse.

My horse hasn't seen clippers in years, her mane is long and wild, and I got rid of all my white saddle pads.


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## AQHSam (Nov 23, 2011)

It's a QH! How about trail competition? I used to show and handle dogs in performance and conformation. I gave it all up. I enjoyed the work but hated the politics. In the ring and out. 

There are others forms of competition if you love the thrill of the ring. The AQHA has a great trail program for hacking also. Visit their website.


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## COWCHICK77 (Jun 21, 2010)

Don't get discouraged! You wouldn't be showing if you didn't want to in the first place..well I don't think. Yes it is hard, and it does get boring riding in an arena day in, day out.

I wasn't showing per say, but I was starting futurity colts day in day out... I longed for a day outside doing something different. When I got that then it renewed my interest in what I was doing in the arena. It also helped my horses. Do both, enjoy going outside and relaxing or do some cross training along with arena work, then rethink your show ring goals. If you are still disinterested, quit, you can always come back.


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

FYI, is you like dressage but find yourself looking forward to trail rides, you might be a closet eventer!


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## mildot (Oct 18, 2011)

MyBoyPuck said:


> FYI, is you like dressage but find yourself looking forward to trail rides, you might be a closet eventer!


+1 yes


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## DrumRunner (Jan 26, 2011)

I didn't read all of the posts but I've always been given the same advice when I'm feeling bad about something with my horses..

When you're both not having fun anymore, you're doing something wrong. Go back and think about why you ride and why you love your horse..Forget about the showing and stress for a little while, having the best and winning isn't worth it if you're not enjoying yourselves.

If you're still wanting that 'showing' thrill, look into competing in a few trail classes..I've shown my barrel horse gelding in trail classes and he loves it..it's something new, fun, and different.


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

Having & riding a horse should be enjoyable, if it's not fun any more, then do something different. I've shown, but it really makes me nervous, I've done a little gymkhana-found that stressful, too. Even did some breed shows, but have gone back to where I started-trail-riding, but w/a twist. I practice shoulder-in/shoulder-out on a nice wide lane, jump logs, & have my horses practice all gaits at different speeds-keep us both on our toes.Also, now that I'm in an all new area-I have to be very alert as to where I am & how to get back home. So, no guilt-just enjoy!


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## shandasue (Nov 22, 2011)

i dont think u should feel guilty at all! if you know you are doing it for the wrong reasons and dont enjoy it then dont do it. do what you and your horse want to do an dont listen to what anyone else says! u love your horse and thats all that matters. i have read a few thing simaler to this and i cant believe other riders are like that, i know very few people who ride and iv just never been around people like that, i guess i just thought all riders were like nice an happy an cheery lol
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

The world is full of all kinds of people & just owning a horse doesn't make them all nice & friendly. Some people just enjoy being mean, but in truth there are more nice people around than the bad ones. At least that's what I've found. And to have a good friend, you have to be one back.


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## its lbs not miles (Sep 1, 2011)

DressageIsToDance said:


> I've been thinking for a while about quitting competing and just riding for fun. Not worrying about having my horse being perfectly on the bit, just letting her wander around a trail and have fun. Letting her gallop and have fun. Maybe even being really crazy and not pulling her mane! :-o
> 
> But part of me just feels guilty. Like I'm quitting because it's too hard or something. I'm really just tired of worrying about little things. I feel like my horse would like that so much better. I rode my horse in the arena today. She was good. A little quick sometimes, but she was good. I went to cool her out and I let her do a slow gallop down the long straight side of the big pasture we ride around - she had so much fun. When we got back to the barn, she tried to turn back around and go back to the trail around the field. Somebody was obviously enjoying the little adventure.
> 
> ...


Do what makes you happy. The only person you need to prove anything to is yourself. If it makes you and the horse happy, then do it.


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## schnue (Feb 9, 2010)

Seems to me the message is: ride to enjoy it. There's no reason to have pressure. If it's your parents that are putting on the pressure, just explain to them that you need to take a break. It it's pressure you're putting on yourself, sometimes you have to do self talk, "I'm not lazy, not a loser, I just need a break and want to have fun...." Whatever advice you would give to a friend, use that advice on yourself...make sense?


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## Moei (Jan 11, 2012)

i personally dont think you should be guilty i wouldn't do something if i didn't love it and im sure your horse would enjoy running and trail riding just for pleasure as much as you would!


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## ~*~anebel~*~ (Aug 21, 2008)

Dressage also is not about going around the ring doing the same things, drilling them, day after day. I find whenever I get discouraged I do kind of what I want, I'll trail ride, jump, set up trail obstacles, ride bareback, etc... and yes, on my fancy schmancy Dressage horse! He is still a horse! It's so good for them to do a bit of everything and I find after our little brain break, he comes back into the work refreshed, rested and stronger. You don't need two horses to trail ride and do Dressage 
Do whatever you want. I find that after a little "break" for a few days I'll be sitting at my desk compulsively watching Dressage videos one day, and then I know its time to go back!

Good luck!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DressageIsToDance (Jun 10, 2010)

MyBoyPuck said:


> FYI, is you like dressage but find yourself looking forward to trail rides, you might be a closet eventer!


I have considered this. I'm a super beginner as far as jumping is concerned though, although Amber loves it. She is a beast over jumps too. Always, always puts up good effort over everything. I think they had her doing 2'3" courses with lead changes before I bought her, after about a month or two of being introduced to it from nothing but trail riding. She was 6. Small jumps, but pretty impressive for being so new to it all the same.

Would have posted here sooner but my laptop charger broke and I've been cut off from the interwebz.

I feel like a whiner for posting this.  I think I got a little too obsessed with trying to do only things Amber wants to do. The majority of horses mostly want to be pasture puffs, really. I ended up jumping a little yesterday, against my better judgement, because it was raining and cold and she was somewhat excited. Haven't jumped in weeks...she was, thankfully, well behaved. I guess it proves what's been said here is right. Sometimes just breaking up the monotony makes horses AND riders happier.


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

Silly girl! Don't feel bad about not wanting to show. Go out and have fun until the show bug hits you again.


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