# Buy a horse or have a child?



## evilc123 (Jul 17, 2012)

Has anyone besides me struggled with this question? 

I am almost 30 and have never felt the "itch" to have children, even though I sort of feel like I will have them eventually. Since I was a little girl, I have been OBSESSED with horses (in spite of my family not really supporting my riding--having to work to ride since age 9), but have never owned my own horse. At this stage in my life I can finally afford a horse, but I also feel like that might not be terribly responsible if I envision starting a family in the somewhat foreseeable future. Over the past several months I have been given the opportunity to potentially buy my horsey soulmate, which is really making me question whether I want kids at all. The thought of owning my first horse, let alone a horse this special to me, seems so genuinely true to myself. The more I struggle with this question, the less certain I become. DH also really wants kids, and I don't want to let him down. Anyone have any thoughts/experiences to share?


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## Cat (Jul 26, 2008)

That really is something that you and your significant other will have to decide. 

My husband and I agreed on not having children. Its a decision we made before we were married and over a decade later I still do not regret that decision. It just was not for us. But it sounds like one person in your relationship wants children and it would not be fair (and downright selfish) to make that decision not to have them on your own. I see many long talks in your future.

As to horses "OR" children, well there are many people out there that can and do balance both. One does not mean the other is out. Just something to think about.


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## squirrelfood (Mar 29, 2014)

Unless you are SURE you want children, go for the horse. And if you aren't really POSITIVE you want children, please don't have any. Not everyone needs to be a parent. Not everyone SHOULD be a parent, in SPITE of all the propaganda to do so.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

If you choose a horse now, and then decide to have kids, it is socially acceptable to sell, or lease out the horse while you are tied up with the whole child thing.

If you choose to have kids now, then decide you want a horse, people get twitchy if you list your kids on Craigslist:wink:

Seriously, it's a discussion for you and DH, but many people find that horses and kids are not mutually exclusive, jut HARD to balance time and money wise.

I rode a lot before having the kids, even owned a horse for a short time. I like many others took time out while they were small, and then really came back into it then. Good luck with your choices!


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Does it have to be an either/or situation?

It was never a question for me. I never wanted kids. Go team horse!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MN Tigerstripes (Feb 20, 2009)

I'm just a little older than you, single, the owner of two horses, and just realizing that perhaps someday I do want children. In my case it's entirely dependent on whether or not I actually get married, but if I do it will be to someone who understands that while the horses may go on minimal care or even be leased if necessary, they are a part of me and I'd no more sell them than my dog. In my case, it's becoming more likely that I will look to adopt instead of having my own and probably an older child who isn't wanted by most people for whatever reason. 

Like the others said though, this really is a conversation for you and your husband. Personally, you should NOT have children unless you are 1000% ready to be a mother in every sense of the word. There are too many unwanted children in this world to bring one into life who isn't wanted wholeheartedly by both parents. That's just my opinion of course...


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## verona1016 (Jul 3, 2011)

Your situation is pretty similar to mine- I was as horse crazy as it gets as a kid, but didn't get to start riding until I could both pay for it and drive myself. I've been riding for about 8 years now and the more time I spend with horses, the more time I _want_ to spend with horses, to the point where I wish I could switch careers to something horse-related. 

That desire to have kids eludes me, too. Fortunately for me, DH is of the same mindset (although it's unfortunate for his mother, since he's an only child) 

Honestly, I don't know how I would manage to balance my job, my horse, and a kid. I certainly couldn't keep my current position (which requires me to fly to California twice a week on top of being a fairly high stress position to begin with)

As Cat said, though, it's not necessarily an either-or type situation. Half leasing can be a great option when you're looking at starting a family, both from a financial perspective and from a time perspective.


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## Maple (Jan 10, 2012)

Golden Horse said:


> If you choose to have kids now, then decide you want a horse, people get twitchy if you list your kids on Craigslist:wink:


Is ebay any better?? :lol:

Really, this is a personal decision. I thought I'd never have kids, and to be honest I would have been happy enough not to... BUT, now that they are here I have two gorgeous (a bit biased there) mini people who I love with all my heart. 

I did lose out on a good bit of horse time, heck I still do. A few years ago I finally got my time back to riding, was getting out 5 times and week and BAM! who finds out she's 6 months prego? Yep, that's me. :-x So, my horse got to be a pasture puff for a while. He got about 7-8 months off (pregnancy and c section recovery) so stand around doing nothing but eat, relax and eat. Now.. I get to enjoy going out riding with my daughter. I always have somebody to go hacking with.  

I make it work. Everybody can make whatever life throws at them work. Saying this, if you don't want to have kids then don't... but you've got to be honest with your partner. What suits one person, may not suit you. What suits you, won't suit somebody else. 

Kids are a big commitment. There's no going back once they are there.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Maple said:


> Kids are a big commitment. There's no going back once they are there.


Unless the ebay option does work:wink:


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## NorthernMama (Mar 12, 2008)

Unless you are SURE you want a horse, go for the children. And if you aren't really POSITIVE you want a horse, please don't have any. Not everyone needs to be a horseowner. Not everyone SHOULD be a horse owner in SPITE of all the propaganda to do so.

Lol. I had to do that because both are a long term responsibility but this doesn't have to be an either/or choice. And both don't need to start at the same time. A good parent has more beyond the child(ren) and if a horseowner without life beyond horses is either competing or obsessive.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I would say that at least half of all people who become parents did not have a huge , overwhelming drive to have them. they had a "when the time is right, maybe" sort of level of passion. I know I did. I had my first at 32, second at 38, and we still didn't think the "time was right", but it happened. 
But, no horse could have brought me the personal development that motherhood has. I know that people say that their horses,dogs, or other pet are their "children", but it is not the same.
I sometimes do wish I could sell my children, or at least the older one, but when I think of how important my familial relations are to my siblings and parents, I think of how important it is to keep that human chain going.

true, not everyone should be a parent, and since it does not have the temporary nature of pet/horse ownership, it should not be taken on lightly. But, do not worry that you do not have a drving passion to have a baby. most of us parents didnt, at the time, but we are glad we did.


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## michaelvanessa (Apr 25, 2012)

*horses or kids.*

i have solved that problem my horses are my kids.


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## squirrelfood (Mar 29, 2014)

I was never sure I wanted kids, had no real desires in that direction. Got pretty much pushed into having 2. I'm STILL sorry. Kids deserve a decent mother, and I just wasn't. Hard to be a good mother when you resent your children. Not ALL people should be parents, and if more people realized that, there would be a HUGE drop in abused and/or abandoned children. Unless you truly KNOW you want kids, don't do it just because you MIGHT be glad later.


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

I do want children, but at this point in my life I'm 30, divorced, and more or less single and free to do what I want. The only thing holding me back from horse ownership at this point is my permanency at work (I'm technically a long-term contractor with an extremely likely chance I will be made a permanent part of the team). Once that changes, I will be horse/long-ear shopping til I drop. But I also don't have a steady relationship (I am dating a guy but it is very fresh and somewhat tenuous at this point, no real commitments), and no immediate prospects for children in the near future. 

Do I WANT children? Absolutely. I enjoy kids and I think building a family is going to be an extremely important part of my life. I want to be married and more settled to be ready for babies. A horse is an easier "out" than a baby- if having the horse becomes too much, I can sell. 

Horses get more difficult to enjoy when you have a family, especially while kids are young. It's not impossible, as many other members have pointed out, but just makes things more complicated. If you want a horse, can afford a horse, and are able to commit to the time needed to fulfill your dream of riding, I say strike while the iron is hot and live the dream while you have a chance. It might need to be shelved after a time, but it's always something you can come back to. 

It's a personal choice, but it's one best made with your husband's input. If he REALLY wants kids and you're more or less on the "whatever" scale, make sure that buying a horse and putting off his want for a family isn't going to cause friction.


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## churumbeque (Dec 20, 2009)

evilc123 said:


> Has anyone besides me struggled with this question?
> 
> I am almost 30 and have never felt the "itch" to have children, even though I sort of feel like I will have them eventually. Since I was a little girl, I have been OBSESSED with horses (in spite of my family not really supporting my riding--having to work to ride since age 9), but have never owned my own horse. At this stage in my life I can finally afford a horse, but I also feel like that might not be terribly responsible if I envision starting a family in the somewhat foreseeable future. Over the past several months I have been given the opportunity to potentially buy my horsey soulmate, which is really making me question whether I want kids at all. The thought of owning my first horse, let alone a horse this special to me, seems so genuinely true to myself. The more I struggle with this question, the less certain I become. DH also really wants kids, and I don't want to let him down. Anyone have any thoughts/experiences to share?


I did not struggle with it at all. I never wanted kids. I also made that very clear to any significant others.


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## michaelvanessa (Apr 25, 2012)

*child thats a pony.*

i thought i would leave this as food for thought as we take a lot in life for granted.
tricky is 30 years old now and had him since he was a foal.
i did a test today that was just to sit on a sulky motionless with no contact on the reins and i did not speak a word at all so he was on his own.
so we continued down the track and perfectley went inbetween 2 metal posts on his own and he is blinkerd.
there is a buzy road at the end of it and the end of the track turns in to a triangle so you can eather go left or right but he navagated to the middle and done 180 turn on the spot and walked back its funny his ears kept listerning back wards for me and went through the posts again perfectley we did 500 yards and i asked him to stop he did.
he had got over the worry that i was not around when i spoke to him.
i have come to the conclusion un aided but sighlentley under supervision this pony has evolved in to a child.
i love him and respect him and to me his a son.


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

I managed to have kids and horses - and then the kids had ponies and then horses. I also worked to help support my horse habit. Its hard but it can be done, you just have to sacrifice other things like nights out because you're too busy or too exhausted to be bothered.


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## MyBoySi (Dec 1, 2011)

I never wanted kids but significant other did. 

I'm literally headed to the hospital in an hour to get induced as I'm three days overdue with my first. 

I also have three horses between my sister and myself. Bought one just a month ago as she was a deal I couldn't pass up. 

Lots of people manage just fine. I'm looking forward to having a child now to share my love of horses with and my husband is absolutely thrilled to be having a baby. 

Not to mention now I'll get to buy a pony lol.


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

I agree, there are a lot of people who manage both just fine. My parents did and my brother does (my folks just had 2, Jason has 3). However, it can be hard to balance time and money between the two.

Anyway, like others have said, this is really something that you and DH should talk about in depth. I am also 30 and I have never wanted kids. I still don't. I like my "me" time and I like to be able to sit around in a quiet room or go for a 6 hour ride whenever I feel like it. I'm selfish in that regard and kids just annoy me. Honestly, I get so tired of people saying "It's different when they're yours" or "you'll change your mind". :evil: Maybe I will and maybe I won't but that's _my_ decision. 

I'm not cut out to be a mother, I know that. I _probably_ could adequately raise a child and not have them turn into a serial murderer, but I think there should be some higher confidence there LOL.


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## EquineObsessed (May 24, 2013)

Keep in mind that I am young, but count me in with those who don't want kids. People tell me I'll change my mind, but I honestly cannot stand children.
I was having a conversation with someone when I first got my puppy. It went like this:
Me: "yeah, but my puppy only needs a couple months of constant supervision, then she'll be fine. You can't leave kids alone for YEARS. *shudder*
Other person: gave me a funny look

I am perfectly content to be surrounded by dogs and horses and books and friends. I don't even like dating much, I can't imagine ever wanting to be married or any of it. I might change my mind, but where kids are concerned, I doubt I will.


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## DuckDodgers (May 28, 2013)

squirrelfood said:


> Unless you are SURE you want children, go for the horse. And if you aren't really POSITIVE you want children, please don't have any. Not everyone needs to be a parent. Not everyone SHOULD be a parent, in SPITE of all the propaganda to do so.


This. If there's any question about it then I would be inclined to say don't go for the children! 

You can sell or lease out a horse if you end up having children and don't have time or money for the horse. Like others have said, I know quite a few people that own one or more horses while having one or more kids.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

:lol:Buy the horse. It won't need to go to college!


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## MN Tigerstripes (Feb 20, 2009)

My parents did both as well, although they both gradually got out of horses, it was more that their interest waned and other passions took it's place. My dad bought 2 TWH weaning when I was 3 months old and their brother the next year. We had them until their deaths at 23, 27, and 30. Horses don't mind "sitting" in the pasture eating and being horses, they don't mind just being groomed, or just giving pony rides either. There is something nice to be said about watching your (a) child learn to ride on your horse or seeing your horse love on your (a) child. 

I'm not a mother and I don't know if I ever will be, I love kids, and am fairly certain I would be a very good mother, but I also love my animals and am completely content if I never have children. I also have some lovely godchildren (6 at last count) and at least one, probably three or four who would come to me if anything happened to their parents. Although, like I said, I'll probably end up fostering and/or adopting someday so I'll end up having kids no matter what happens in life. If I marry I probably would not marry someone who had a burning crazy desire to have his own biological children, I'm getting older and do not personally agree with fertility treatments and I wouldn't want to take something like that away from someone else. 

Boy that was just a whole ball of ramble, wasn't it? Please excuse, I'm sick and just woke up from nap. :lol:


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> :lol:Buy the horse. It won't need to go to college!



Good point, but then kids don't need shoes every six weeks!


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## MN Tigerstripes (Feb 20, 2009)

I don't know... The way some of my nieces, nephews, godchildren, and add ons (not sure what to call the ones I'm close with that aren't actually related to me or godchildren) grow... Seems like their parents are buying a new wardrobe every month or so!


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## squirrelfood (Mar 29, 2014)

Hmm....not all horses need shoes either. And they certainly don't whine and complain if everything just isn't the latest style either. They don't demand their own smartphone or car..........


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## cakemom (Jul 4, 2010)

My kids don't demand such things, but a lot of thought planning and sacrifice goes into kids. When money gets tighter than possible due to circumstances you can't control you cannot sell or lease kids. 
I had horses when I was a kid, as a young adult and sold when I started thinking of kids. Then, at the age my kids could enjoy them and I wouldn't have to worry about diapers and stalls at the same time I got back into horses and drug one kid with me. The others are welcome- but only visit the barn to chat, not live in it like oldest and I can. 
So- get a horse I'd say. Or, lease a horse, with a purchase option.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## evilc123 (Jul 17, 2012)

tinyliny said:


> I would say that at least half of all people who become parents did not have a huge , overwhelming drive to have them. they had a "when the time is right, maybe" sort of level of passion. I know I did. I had my first at 32, second at 38, and we still didn't think the "time was right", but it happened.
> But, no horse could have brought me the personal development that motherhood has. I know that people say that their horses,dogs, or other pet are their "children", but it is not the same.
> I sometimes do wish I could sell my children, or at least the older one, but when I think of how important my familial relations are to my siblings and parents, I think of how important it is to keep that human chain going.
> 
> true, not everyone should be a parent, and since it does not have the temporary nature of pet/horse ownership, it should not be taken on lightly. But, do not worry that you do not have a drving passion to have a baby. most of us parents didnt, at the time, but we are glad we did.


Thank you! This makes me feel more normal! I am sure I would/will make a fine parent (to horse or child) but horses won't be there to take care of me when I am old and feeble. I think that is part of your point with keeping the "human chain" going...


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## squirrelfood (Mar 29, 2014)

evilc123 said:


> Thank you! This makes me feel more normal! I am sure I would/will make a fine parent (to horse or child) but horses won't be there to take care of me when I am old and feeble. I think that is part of your point with keeping the "human chain" going...


It's very possible your children won't be either. Ever wonder why we need so many nursing homes?


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## evilc123 (Jul 17, 2012)

squirrelfood said:


> It's very possible your children won't be either. Ever wonder why we need so many nursing homes?


Hmmm...hadn't considered that. I guess I will take that off of the "pro-kids" side of the list. lol


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Thank God SOMEBODY is willing to have kids, put up with the long term committment and put off their own wants and needs for someone else. We are all evidence of the burden and the blessings of such a sacrifice.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

Not everyone "puts off their own needs and wants" when they have kids, there are some people who are 100% fulfilled by being a parent, that is their need, their want, and their calling.

I wasn't one of those :-(


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## MN Tigerstripes (Feb 20, 2009)

tinyliny said:


> Thank God SOMEBODY is willing to have kids, put up with the long term committment and put off their own wants and needs for someone else. We are all evidence of the burden and the blessings of such a sacrifice.


I agree 100%, however, there are a LOT of unwanted children out there in addition to the ones that are wanted. It's really nice that as a society we are moving towards it being acceptable to not have children if you don't truly want them. Hopefully that will help keep some people from having children they don't want. 

Also, just because you don't want kids doesn't mean you aren't willing "put up with the long term committment and put off their own wants and needs for someone else." You might just recognize that you aren't going to be the best parent in the world or that you are unwilling to be selfish enough to bring a child into the world alone. Trying to find a SO is not always an "easy" process... Especially once you hit a certain age or if you life in more rural communities.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Kind of a funny "decision", but to examine the options is definitely a responsible thing to do to. My horses tend to be "cradle to grave", and shortly before I got pregnant I purchased a 2 yo filly that I had wanted from the day she hit the ground, but she wasn't for sale until the day I bought her.  I didn't actually need another horse, and at the time I wasn't "thinking" in terms of future children, I was only thinking of what I wanted. However, if I were in your position and currently had no horses, I would look at it as a great opportunity to shop for a single horse with the temperament/abilities with a future child in mind and not "just me"...a compromise of sorts. Just a thought.


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## BarrelRacer23 (Aug 17, 2011)

Neither was a "no" for me. I've always had horses and will have them. I've always wanted children. I had my first sooner than expected but I've dealt well, I cut my horse heard from 2 to 1 and know it will only be one for a while. My son is 4 months old, I'm able to ride almost everyday now that it's warm. He naps in his stroller while I ride. I know someday that won't happen, but my significant other helps out. I want at least one more child to. It's hard but you can have both. If you want the horse, get the horse. You can always discuss children.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

I think there is so much more to this question than people are considering on this thread. xD Though, I'm sure most of the answers are meant to be read in a light hearted way.

I'll say, firstly, this is absolutely a discussion to have with your significant other. Only you and he know the entirety of your situation. Exactly how badly does he want them? Enough to get a divorce if he doesn't get them? I'm not suggesting that's the case, just tossing that out there.  Does he like horses? Would he be alright shouldering some of that commitment? 

In terms of cost... unless you are purchasing a GP jumper or a World Class reiner (or something comparable for other disciplines xD) the cost of a horse will never amount to an even semi-spoiled (guilty xD) child. Someone mentioned not having to get kids shoes every six weeks after the college comment. I'll just say, I don't know many people who spent $100,000+ on a horse's feets xD
Sure, you could give a child the bare minimum--clothes, food, shelter. But who really does that? There's toys, there's field trips, there's birthdays, there's extra curricular activities. The list goes on. 
As said before... A horse can be sold or leased. You can't sell or lease a child. xD

On the other hand... There's the idea of "time". You could feasibly buy a horse for many more years. In your forties, fifties, maybe even into your sixties or seventies. If you truly want a child, that's a decision you have to make /before/ your forties. So I guess that's an argument to be made for the "pro-child" side. A horse can always come later, once the kids are out of the house.


All of this makes me wonder... Does it really have to be one or the other? Both are time consuming and pricy... Both are very rewarding. Maybe you could find a way to make both work, after a conversation with DH.


My final statement to this discussion is this; people shouldn't be looked down upon either way. There are some people who are practically born wanting to have children. They spend their childhoods playing with dolls and emulating "house". I have friends like this. That's fantastic.
On the other hand, there are those of us who have never aspired to become a parent. I'm one of those xD I know that I'm too selfish to raise a child, and have everyone involved (my future husband, a potential child, and myself) all be happy. It doesn't make anyone less or more. It's just the way things are.


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## evilc123 (Jul 17, 2012)

Zexious said:


> All of this makes me wonder... Does it really have to be one or the other? Both are time consuming and pricy... Both are very rewarding. Maybe you could find a way to make both work, after a conversation with DH.
> 
> I think $ and time are both factors that make me wonder whether it is possible to do both. I also have a full time career and I am an equal contributor to our family income. I really just cannot envision how life would work with both of us working FT and having a baby. Not saying it isn't possible, I just have no idea how one would achieve this.
> 
> Also...DH and I have discussed this. He wants me to be happy more than he wants kids, so I think that if I told him I really did not want kids and wanted a horse instead, he would be okay with that.


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

One word...babysitter. My youngest niece is turning 5 this summer and Jason and his wife both work full time. Basically, they had a full time babysitter that kept her from just before 8am to just after 3pm, M-F. Now that she's in pre-school and her sister is old enough to take care of her without supervision, it's easier but still, daycare adds up to a _lot_ of money.


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## squirrelfood (Mar 29, 2014)

> Sure, you could give a child the bare minimum--clothes, food, shelter. But who really does that? There's toys, there's field trips, there's birthdays, there's extra curricular activities. The list goes on.


Who does that? Really? A LOT more of us than you think, because that's all we CAN do.


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## Darrin (Jul 11, 2011)

You never know when your or your other halfs biological clock will kick in. As an example my avowed cousin and his wife have sworn from day one they were not having kids. At 39, this last Nov., she looked at him and asked if they had made a mistake, he said yes. We think she was pregnant 2 weeks later with child #1. So your DH might be OK with it today but that doesn't mean he will be tomorrow and likely wont if he really wants kids. 

Another consideration is age, if you're going to have kids younger is better.

Yet another consideration is $$, they say today it's ~$250k to raise a child through college. Just wow. 

Next is your situation financially and land wise. Stabling a horse 24/7 is expensive. On the other hand if you have a few acres then owning a horse isn't all that expensive if you're not showing them. Kids are always expensive so can you afford both? As two professionals you very likely can afford both if you so choose. If you can afford both there's no reason why it has to be one or the other. 

Here's extra food for thought. Some of my fondest memories growing up are going out and doing activities with my parents that we all enjoyed. Horse back riding, camping, 4 wheeling, dirt bike riding, hikes, and such. I haven't asked my parents if the same is true for them but willing to bet it is.


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## Saskia (Aug 26, 2009)

It's one of those decisions no one else could make. 

I plan to have both! Hopefully.


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## frlsgirl (Aug 6, 2013)

evilc123 said:


> Has anyone besides me struggled with this question?
> 
> I am almost 30 and have never felt the "itch" to have children, even though I sort of feel like I will have them eventually. Since I was a little girl, I have been OBSESSED with horses (in spite of my family not really supporting my riding--having to work to ride since age 9), but have never owned my own horse. At this stage in my life I can finally afford a horse, but I also feel like that might not be terribly responsible if I envision starting a family in the somewhat foreseeable future. Over the past several months I have been given the opportunity to potentially buy my horsey soulmate, which is really making me question whether I want kids at all. The thought of owning my first horse, let alone a horse this special to me, seems so genuinely true to myself. The more I struggle with this question, the less certain I become. DH also really wants kids, and I don't want to let him down. Anyone have any thoughts/experiences to share?


I'm right there with you. I just bought my first horse after wanting one for nearly 30 years. DH and I tried the kids thing but had a couple of miscarriages and I decided I didn't want to try anymore. My horse is my whole world and I don't know how in the world I would add children to my new life now. I'm not really a kid person but our friends have this little girl who has made me re-think having kids. I don't know how I would do it all. Plus my time is running out - I'll be 38 next month. DH has been dropping little hints here and there but supports whatever decision I make. I don't know what to do but live and enjoy every day. Maybe one day DH will make enough $ where I won't have to work any more and then I might entertain the idea; but by then we'll be 50 something and it will be too late. 

I know I'm no help to you at all, am I? Just wanted to drop you a note to let you know you are not alone


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## PaintHorseMares (Apr 19, 2008)

Darrin said:


> Yet another consideration is $$, they say today it's ~$250k to raise a child through college. Just wow.


We had one wonderful child, then horses, and I can tell you that as much as people complain about horses being expensive, children cost a LOT more, and are much HARDER to train ;-)


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## Viranh (Apr 7, 2013)

I have never wanted children, so maybe I'm biased, but I think that there are an awful lot of people in the world already and lots of horses (and other animals) that could use a good home. I think you should go with the horse. If you change your mind, you can sell or lease, and if it's too late biologically, there are lots of kids that could use a good home too.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

As far as expenses go, I, like many, have sacrificed stuff for my child, but not my horses. I can't live w/o them, so they aren't something I could "let go". But, there are so many unnecessary expenses you can reduce or eliminate from your life.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Golden Horse said:


> Good point, but then kids don't need shoes every six weeks!


More like every 6 months. Less once they get older and start following fashion trends 

Horses don't have big weddings.
Horses won't wreck your car.

They are just pretty much more awesome in all ways!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## bkylem (Sep 21, 2013)

I would say to relax and don't fee like a clock is ticking and that you are somehow obligated to have a child. I would give it a few years and address the question again. You need not worry about it now as one never knows what the future holds for us. 
Buy the horse ( provided you have emergency funds set aside)and continue with your life. It sounds like you have already made the decision, so go with it and don't feel guilty or peer pressure. If the very worst( or best) thing happened five years from now, you would always have the option of leasing or selling your horse if needed.
Relax and take the life before you.

My very best to you.


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## blue eyed pony (Jun 20, 2011)

DancingArabian said:


> More like every 6 months. Less once they get older and start following fashion trends
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Doubt that very much!

When I was little and my feet were still growing I would get a new pair of shoes every term at LEAST. My brother once got a pair of shoes and had outgrown them two weeks later!


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## evilc123 (Jul 17, 2012)

frlsgirl said:


> I'm right there with you. I just bought my first horse after wanting one for nearly 30 years. DH and I tried the kids thing but had a couple of miscarriages and I decided I didn't want to try anymore. My horse is my whole world and I don't know how in the world I would add children to my new life now. I'm not really a kid person but our friends have this little girl who has made me re-think having kids. I don't know how I would do it all. Plus my time is running out - I'll be 38 next month. DH has been dropping little hints here and there but supports whatever decision I make. I don't know what to do but live and enjoy every day. Maybe one day DH will make enough $ where I won't have to work any more and then I might entertain the idea; but by then we'll be 50 something and it will be too late.
> 
> I know I'm no help to you at all, am I? Just wanted to drop you a note to let you know you are not alone


LOL Okay...I am predicting that you are me 8-9 years from now (minus, hopefully, the miscarriages...sorry about that  ). Good luck with whatever you end up doing!


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## Darrin (Jul 11, 2011)

DancingArabian said:


> More like every 6 months. Less once they get older and start following
> 
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


I was getting new shoes every 4-6 weeks growing up. It was a race to see if I out grew them or destroyed them for hard use first.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## WSArabians (Apr 14, 2008)

Not even a question for me. 
I'm already looking at a horse. :lol:


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## bkylem (Sep 21, 2013)

Both have to be trained, mucked, groomed and fed treats.


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## plomme (Feb 7, 2013)

When I was considering buying my horse my partner and I talked about the fact that having a horse probably meant not having children due to both the time and expense of horse ownership. This was a very hypothetical situation because neither of us has ever felt any strong desire to have kids, but when I bought the horse it was shutting a door. Yes, it is possible to put my horse on pasture board or lease him out or even sell him, but realistically I wouldn't want that. When I realized that my choice was really between something I knew for sure would make me happy and something I probably didn't even want it became pretty clear what the best decision would be. 

I grew up with a mom who had kids because it was expected and she didn't really consider that she had a choice. Some of those situations work out great and everyone's happy, but I know that if my mom had to do it over again she would not have children. This is clearly a huge reason why I wouldn't take the chance.


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## Roux (Aug 23, 2013)

Not be blunt but if you are even asking the question then go with the horse.


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## HowClever (Feb 16, 2010)

I have 6 horses and our first daughter is almost 5 months old. I have always known I wanted to be a Mum.

Not going to lie, it's not an easy thing. When I'm functioning on 2 hours sleep, bub has had a bad day and DH is away at work there are days where the last thing I want to do is go out and make sure the crew is fed and watered. 

However, I probably would have completely gone insane if I had gotten rid of the horses before having our little girl. Sure I haven't ridden for a while, but just being able to go out and hang out with them for 10 minutes is a good break every once in a while. 

Having said all that, like has been said, if you decide you don't want/have time for a horse you can sell it. That's not an option with kids so if you aren't certain that you want them, don't have them.


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