# Do kids need entertainment every waking moment?



## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

So the past two times we have been out for dinner, there has been a table close by with children watching either a DVD on a portable player or kids playing devises like PSPs. 

If the parents gave the children headphones, I think I'd feel much better about it. But the constant dink dink type noises that come from games makes me twitch. 

Is it really necessary that children are entertained in this way even during dinner times? Admittedly we are only in a diner, and not some terribly fancy restaurant - but we have a larger family with the foster kids, and that's about as fancy as we get unless it's a special occasion. 

'My' kids tell me all the time that I am excessive with my expectations of manners and I am in comparison to their backgrounds. When we eat out, they are expected to have proper table manners, to keep their voices at a controlled volume, not wear caps, please & thank yous etc. Heck even at home, when they play games, they have the volume muted. 

Anyone else noticing that children seem to be entertained every waking hour of their lives? What are your thoughts?


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## Spirit Lifter (Apr 23, 2012)

I was dating a man for 3 years who has custody of his then seven year old daughter. When she was home, she ruled him and was constantly entertained by him until the time she went to bed. Very spoiled and very disrespectful to him. It broke us up. Not my style at all. My grown daughter has her MBA and we are very close. She was raised the old fashioned way, especially at the dinner table. To this day, she thanks me for the great manners I instilled in her. I might add she ending up marrying a very well mannered surgeon.


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## SouthernTrails (Dec 19, 2008)

.

The old fashioned courtesy for others has long gone out the window, for children and adults alike.

It seems it is easier to give in to the child's wishes than be a good parent.

Rant over :lol:

.


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## Joe4d (Sep 1, 2011)

breeders have been substituting electronics for parenting more and more. Then wonder why they are hyper, then give them drugs, etc etc etc.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I came from pretty extreme parents, if I did not eat my meal it was provided again and again until I ate it - breakfast lunch dinner. 

I was expected to be silent at the dinner table, or talking with my parents. Heck the TV was turned off for meal times. 


The dink dinking type noises from the game was making my skin crawl on Fri night. And yet I felt that if I said something to the parents, I would be the one with the problem as it has become fairly normal.


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## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

I think electronics have become an easy-out for a lot of parents. Don't want to instill manners and teach patience? Hand them your iPad when they start whining. They're complaining about an eight-hour car ride to visit relatives? Buy them a DS so they shut up. I think my family's a little guilty of this. With four young kids (twin 4 y/os, 5 y/o, and 12 y/o drama queen), it's a lot easier to turn on the TV or let them play on your iPhone just so you can get things done around the house. However, when we go out to dinner there are no electronics. They sit at the table and talk to us, coloring with crayons if the restaurant provides them.


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## IslandWave (Nov 25, 2009)

Glad to hear I'm not the only one with this pet peeve. I'm not old by any means, (21) and I hate that kids these days stare at digital screens most of the day. What ever happened to reading and coloring books?!


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

IslandWave said:


> What ever happened to reading and coloring books?!


Or just sitting being bored? Laugh, I spent much of my childhood doing that.


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## tempest (Jan 26, 2009)

AlexS said:


> Or just sitting being bored? Laugh, I spent much of my childhood doing that.


Bored? There was no such thing as the word "bored" in my house. If you said the phrase "I'm bored" or even looked bored in my house my parents gave us something to do. Usually more chores.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

AlexS said:


> If the parents gave the children headphones, I think I'd feel much better about it. But the constant dink dink type noises that come from games makes me twitch.


Alex, this was just a dinner. Now imagine when you sit on a plane (trying to sleep) having this dink dink for 5 hours straight right behind your seat. I had this "fun" on my trip just recently...


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## tempest (Jan 26, 2009)

But everyone is right. Kids these days need to spend some time outside and with a good book. Not a kindle book, a good old fashioned made from trees book.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

tempest said:


> Not a kindle book, a *good old fashioned made from trees book*.


Lol! You should tell it to my parents! They asked me to get them eBook reader (whatever that device is called) for X-mas! (which I will of course).


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

kitten_Val said:


> Alex, this was just a dinner. Now imagine when you sit on a plane (trying to sleep) having this dink dink for 5 hours straight right behind your seat. I had this "fun" on my trip just recently...


I have experienced that. Do the parents not realize that sounds can be muted on these games? 

Last time I flew back to England, I had to repeatedly ask the parents behind me if they could stop their child from kicking the back of my seat.


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

SouthernTrailsGA said:


> .
> 
> The old fashioned courtesy for others has long gone out the window, for children and adults alike.
> 
> ...


And it's pretty darn sad. Sadly there are a lot of folks parenting that way. It never fails to amaze me the rude behavior I see at my daughter's school functions, by children and parents alike. It makes me a bit ashamed to be part of my generation to be honest. 

Alex, that is one of my major peeves. The table manners thing bugs me a lot too. That would have ruined my meal. How hard is it to sit politely and have dinner? It's an hour or so, if your kids aren't patient enough or well mannered enough to sit at a dinner table politely for that amount of time, maybe you should rethink taking them in public. I don't care if it's Mcd's or a michelin star restaurant there is no reason for that. 

It sickens me how much some parents rely on technology to "parent" their children. While we are guilty of having technology in my house (wii, ipod, ds...) it isn't a substitute for parenting. I honestly couldn't tell you the last time my daughter used the ipod or ds, the wii gets used every night - we play the just dance games together, fun for her - sweaty torture for me :lol: A perfect example, I kept a friend's kids overnight. We were going to take them out of town to a small zoo, 30 mile drive. They were so upset that there wouldn't be a dvd to watch on that trip. 30 flipping miles, are you serious? You can't sit in a car for 30 minutes without a cartoon? Play eye spy or find the state license plates or perhaps, sit their quietly? We drove 23 hours to Florida, we let my daughter take her ds but she didn't get it out once. Not once. We were too busy talking about the things we saw along the way. 

I guess in the end all we can do is raise our children to be good, polite productive citizens. I'm trying my best to do my part.


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## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

AlexS said:


> Last time I flew back to England, I had to repeatedly ask the parents behind me if they could stop their child from kicking the back of my seat.


I've had this happen, too, and he wasn't a young toddler. He was probably around eight or nine and still behaving like this.


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## Lockwood (Nov 8, 2011)

MHFoundation Quarters said:


> And it's pretty darn sad. Sadly there are a lot of folks parenting that way. It never fails to amaze me the rude behavior I see at my daughter's school functions, by children and parents alike. It makes me a bit ashamed to be part of my generation to be honest.
> 
> Alex, that is one of my major peeves. The table manners thing bugs me a lot too. That would have ruined my meal. How hard is it to sit politely and have dinner? It's an hour or so, if your kids aren't patient enough or well mannered enough to sit at a dinner table politely for that amount of time, maybe you should rethink taking them in public. I don't care if it's Mcd's or a michelin star restaurant there is no reason for that.
> 
> ...


Agree!

My son does get to use "fancy" technology at school, but at home we are pretty far behind the times.
We do not have a wii, ipad, book reader, or ipods. Although with my penchant for collecting books, it would be a good idea for me to get an e-reader type of thing. That, and I have a tiny house with no where to put anymore books! LOL

A friend recently gave my son a nintendo DS (her kids outgrew it) and I wasn't happy about it. But at least all he has or I will buy are are educational games or math games and he only plays about 1/2 a day, if that. 
He also knows that the minute he pitches a fit about "getting something" he has ruined his chances of ever getting said item because I'm a mean mommy. And thankfully the fits are so rare I almost don't know how to react when he actually has one. :-o

I have nothing against the devices themselves, and I do use TV sometimes, but it seems that part of our culture going down the drain.
Studies show kids are becoming really diconnected and unable to have real conversations (as a whole) anymore because of all the tech they have come to rely on.
I have a built in DVD player in my truck's head rest and it has never even been used yet. I might consider it for a really long road trip, but he doesn't pay any attention to the fact that it is even there.


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## Maple (Jan 10, 2012)

My nephew darn near lives in a videogame, I kid you not. I offered to bring him off last year to an indoor kiddie play center and he spoke of nothing but his DS and wii. There was no other conversation, I asked him about school, about hid friends, ect and he avoided the conversation to speak only of whatever game he had been playing. While at the playcenter, the only time he left to play was when I hounded him for sitting around... and even then it only lastest two seconds. We then brought him to the zoo a few weeks later and he moped behind us for the entire time complaining he was bored. The moment he was home from both places he was using the DS. I have never offered to bring him off again, I'm not forking out money for him if he isn't going to appreciate it. 


As for the topic of kids on planes... that's tough on both sides. I have a 5yo and a 1yo, 2 years ago we brought my daughter then 3 to Canada.... 3 connecting flights it took us and we were all very frazzled by the end of it. I wouldnt want to sit anywhere near us, and we did ou very best to make sure she didn't kick seats, and brought crayons, ect to keep her entertained but it is still very very difficult to confine a child, especially one used to the outdoors, to that limited space for that amount of time. Coming off the plane the girl sitting infront of her complimented us and said she was dreading the flight when she saw us (dont blame her) but it wasnt bad at all. I wouldn't want to sit near kids, but as a parent who had to make a long haul flight, I know how difficult it is to keep them settled. Saying this, I wouldn't allow her to have the volume turned up on the DS and couldnt imagine a parent allowing it. 

I'm amazed at how things have gone. Long gone are the days where we played outside sun, rain or snow. They even have tellys built into the back of the seats in cars now! I find car time a great time to discuss her day and have a chat, or sing to the radio together (I'm a far better singer than Beyonce while driving in the car btw). My daughter does have a DS, but it isn't used often. It's actually been sat in the same place for the last 3 weeks. Somedays she picks it up to play it, but rarely. She'd much rather be outside and that's where I want her.


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## Daisy25 (May 29, 2011)

equiniphile said:


> They're complaining about an eight-hour car ride to visit relatives? Buy them a DS so they shut up. I think my family's a little guilty of this. With four young kids (twin 4 y/os, 5 y/o, and 12 y/o drama queen), it's a lot easier to turn on the TV or let them play on your iPhone just so you can get things done around the house.


I wouldn't fault anybody for finding something to entertain the kids on an 8-hour car ride. They can have a "pass" on that one, IMHO.

What drives me nuts is that the kids must be entertained on ANY car ride. I see kids being driven to school in the morning with the DVD player going in the back seat. Really? Your kid can't survive for 10 lousy minutes in the car without their electronics??? Unbelievable!


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

MHFoundation Quarters said:


> It makes me a bit ashamed to be part of my generation to be honest.


I feel the same way. It's our generations fault, not the kids. 




MHFoundation Quarters said:


> It's an hour or so, if your kids aren't patient enough or well mannered enough to sit at a dinner table politely for that amount of time, maybe you should rethink taking them in public.


When foster kids come to me, they are rarely well mannered. I just about die when a new kid curses in public for example. However, they tend to do it ONCE only. And what's really cool is that the peer pressure from the kids who have been with me longer, works wonders to keep them in line. 

I see concerned glances usually between more mature couples when 'my' family arrives at a public place. There are a lot of us, and I understand that people worry about a crowd of teens. We encounter our fair share of rude people who ask if all the boys are my own - erm, no I do not have 4-5 teens all of different races. But we are also complimented fairly frequently. It's not hard to have expectations that kids live up to - you just need to have the expectations in the first place.


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## cakemom (Jul 4, 2010)

My kids are never allowed to incroach on someone else's peace and quiet. They are allowed to play with electronics, volume turned off if I am near, but must sit at the dinner table tv off and have family time, we also have times when we all just and read. Mine are also outside a lot. So no, it's not all parents and children. Then again though even my 8 year old can cook and do dishes and my 13 year old is training a green horse, do my kids aren't normal.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## smrobs (Jul 30, 2008)

It truly is a sad thing to see so many young people that are being raised by video games and TV shows. I am a bit of an enigma from my own generation. I'm 28 years old, most of my younger years were spent with no TV at all because we didn't have cable. I never owned a single video game and I can count on one hand how many times I had played one before I turned 18 and moved away to college. I look around at people my own age and younger and just hang my head in shame.

Teenagers and young adults that honestly have no idea how to carry on a conversation with another human being. Adults that do nothing but sit on their *** all day long and then whine about being "bored". People who absolutely freak out when the electricity goes out because the TV or computer or playstation doesn't work. God forbid they figure out how to actually visit with people or read a book or go outside and take a walk in the fresh air.

It's pathetic, it really is.


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## stephshark (Jun 19, 2012)

Smrobs, I agree 100%!! I would give anything to be able to run around outside all day or spend a quiet afternoon reading a stack of good books. Parents think it's easier to placate their kids by letting them sit in front of a tv all day and then wonder why they're overweight and have the personalities of tree stumps.


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## jaydee (May 10, 2012)

*spoilt kids*

I have always had a total ban on anything at the dinner table other than eating and talking.
Parents are too quick to throw material things at children to keep them quiet and out of the way instead of talking to them, no wonder they are all growing up so opinionated & precocious and no idea what respect means. 13 year olds who think they know everything - what a shock they are in for. They are learning all they know from reality TV shows and Youtube so think its OK to hurl insults at people and walk away.
You see in them in stores being given rewards of treats to keep them quiet when they play up or just let to run riot


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

AlexS said:


> When foster kids come to me, they are rarely well mannered. I just about die when a new kid curses in public for example. However, they tend to do it ONCE only. And what's really cool is that the peer pressure from the kids who have been with me longer, works wonders to keep them in line.
> 
> I see concerned glances usually between more mature couples when 'my' family arrives at a public place. There are a lot of us, and I understand that people worry about a crowd of teens. We encounter our fair share of rude people who ask if all the boys are my own - erm, no I do not have 4-5 teens all of different races. But we are also complimented fairly frequently. It's not hard to have expectations that kids live up to - you just need to have the expectations in the first place.


People really ask you that? I'd probably have a whole arsenal of sarcastic responses for them. For one, rude, two, pretty stupid. Wow. 

I know I've told you before but I have mad respect for what you do Alex. No way could I do it and am thankful that there are folks like you who can. 



smrobs said:


> People who absolutely freak out when the electricity goes out because the TV or computer or playstation doesn't work. God forbid they figure out how to actually visit with people or read a book or go outside and take a walk in the fresh air.


I agree. The last time our power went out, we lit an oil lamp and sat in my bed taking turns reading out loud. We got through all of "Where the red fern grows" and then built a "fort" out of sheets and played checkers by flashlight. It was hotter than hades in the house without the a/c on but it was still more fun than video games any day.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Personally, I would rather have the dink dink dink than loud whining, screaming children when out in public.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

MHFoundation Quarters said:


> People really ask you that? I'd probably have a whole arsenal of sarcastic responses for them. For one, rude, two, pretty stupid. Wow.


Firstly, thanks for your other comment. 

Yes, I am asked about on average once a week if all the kids are mine. It used to really bother me, now not as much. 

I am 36, so they are asking if I started breeding at 18 (if they judge my age right) and had at least 4 kids of different races from 18-21ish. Often I watch other foster parents kids so they can in turn watch mine - so I might have about 10 kids with me sometimes. I find it supremely offensive that I am asked this, especially as I don't have any of my own. Maybe people just don't know how to wonder with manners? ie. not say anything - even though they feel entitled to know everything. 





In my house we have a very long thin house, it should have been a double/attached style house, the other half was never built. Our living room is about the length of the house, but super thin. I have 3 TVs in the house. For the Ps3, Xbox360 and regular TV. Unless there is something else going on, or they are on restrictions - ie, a normal day spent at home. The kids get 1 hour each on the games. I don't think there is anything wrong with games, I do think over dinner there is a problem if the kid can't stop without a temper tantrum. 




So let me ask, if there is a family sitting behind you at dinner out, would you say something about the kids playing games with the volume on?


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

See that's the problem. If you try to say something about their lack of consideration, then YOU suddenly become the jerk for criticizing their precious snowflake. Those parents will get dragon eyed and declare that obviously YOU must not have children because you "don't understand what it's like" to deal with one. Been there, been told that!

These days, I'll just call the manager over and let them know it's a problem.


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## MHFoundation Quarters (Feb 23, 2011)

You're welcome. 10 kids at once? I rescind that first statement, you are a SAINT. :lol: I'd be seriously offended by that question too. 

Yes, I would say something if they were behind or the next table. I'd politely ask if they would turn the volume down. If at a more expensive restaurant & farther away, I might be inclined to complain to the waitress and let the restaurant manager deal with it. We rarely eat out, I'd like to enjoy it. I expect my daughter to behave respectfully when we are out, it would be nice of others to extend the same courtesy.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

ETA - to Dancing Arabian - That's how I felt! So I didn't say anything. 

We eat there about once a week, and so we know the staff, heck when the bosses are not there, they usually chat with the kids and us for a good while. I could not in good conscious ask them to do something I didn't want to do myself. 
And then, I would have, I wanted to - but I have a gentle giant husband who would defend me to the death if things got ugly, but would have been horribly embarrassed if they did not. 

So I said nothing. Any possible outcome, I would have been the problem. And heck I wouldn't even have mentioned their parenting skills - just the volume level.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

MHFoundation Quarters said:


> You're welcome. 10 kids at once? I rescind that first statement, you are a SAINT. :lol: I'd be seriously offended by that question too.


There's a male foster parent at the agency who has 6 foster kids, he's been single a long time but a good man. He started dating - no way in heck any sane human is going to get to know him with 6 teenage boys who all need attention with him. Every 2nd weekend I have his kids Fri and he has mine Sat. He does a similar deal with 2 other foster parents, so he gets several nights a week kid free. Every other night of the week he has 8-12 kids in his house as pay back, poor man. 



Maybe I will say something as two of you said you would. Maybe my poor husband will die from the horror. I will let you know, usually it's a Weds when we eat out.


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## ChipsAhoy (Jul 1, 2012)

My parents have always been strict about technology. I have pretty extreme parental controls on the computer and I can only go on for certain amounts of time in a certain time frame... Anything past those and it shuts off. The only thing I have without time restraints is my iPod and I'm pretty sure my mom would get rid of it if she could. I've never been allowed to sit around bored, either. If it's still light out I can go outside, to a friends house etc., go to the gym, or the barn if I'm lucky.

It never ceases to amaze me when I see what some parents are willing to put up with... My 16 year old friend throws full on tantrums to her mother. Instead of screaming and crying 
though, it's screaming, swearing and even throwing things if her mom dares to say no... Yet she's been given everything she could possibly want without earning it and has NEVER been reprimanded for anything... Ever, so as much as it irritates me, I can't say it's her fault

Parents seem to teach their kids at an early age that technology is a good thing and you'll get it if you scream and cry long enough, so you really can't blame the kids.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

Agreed Chips, and it's 100% the fault of the parents, not the kids.


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## Delfina (Feb 12, 2010)

Well you can add me to the list of "Bad Parents". Last night my kid was engrossed in some game on my phone at Burger King. I worked until 1am Fri morning, got back up at 6am and got kids off to school. Put in 2 more hours of work, blearily went outside to feed everyone and found my gelding with his foot sliced open. Called the Vet and while waiting, separated out my boarder horse, fed/watered the chickens, goats, turkeys and orphan calf. Held horse while Vet sedated, stitched and bandaged him. Called my old BO and made arrangements for her to come pickup my horse for stall rest. Went next door and "borrowed" a horse to keep my boarder company while mine is gone. Rushed back to the house and put in 2 more hours of work. Convinced hubby to sit with my horse while I drove to the Vet Supply place an hour away for his prescriptions. Helped my old BO load up my horse, then followed her to the barn, got my horse settled in, then brought in all the horses while she moved everything around since they had to change stalls to make room for mine. Fed/watered all the horses, went back home and worked another 2 hours while hubby loaded the truck with hay/feed. Hubby left for work and I took the kids with me, went back to the barn, unloaded the truck and cleaned out the feed room to make room for my stuff.

On the way home, kiddos asked for Burger King and since I was running on 5hrs of sleep, had one horrible, horrible day AND still had to put in 2 more hours of work, I stopped. The younger one decided it would be a GREAT time to yap my ear off about anything and everything that came to her mind.... I lasted 5minutes and then out came the phone and I got peace and quiet. I have no idea if the volume was on... probably was, I don't know and didn't care. Dink dink dink of a video game could be tuned out, 80 billion questions had to be answered. :wink: 

Somehow considering that we normally eat dinner at home 7nights a week as a family (we might eat out 7 times or so a year?) and then entire reason the child snatched my phone and was immediately engrossed is because they hardly if ever get to touch it, I don't think my child will turn out too badly.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Sadly it's my mom that is this way. No internet and she SCREAMS about it. I could go without internet and TV my entire life. Not her.

She's very spoiled.


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## Garenius (Aug 11, 2012)

I wouldn't say "every waking moment", but to a certain extent your kids should stay happy for a prolonged period of time. That's the point of being a good parent right?

http://www.equusconnect.com.au


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

AlexS said:


> I am 36, so they are asking if I started breeding at 18 (if they judge my age right) and had at least 4 kids of different races from 18-21ish. Often I watch other foster parents kids so they can in turn watch mine - so I might have about 10 kids with me sometimes. I find it supremely offensive that I am asked this, especially as I don't have any of my own. Maybe people just don't know how to wonder with manners? ie. not say anything - even though they feel entitled to know everything.


Alex, my grandmom had 11 kids (although the same race, and all have similar look), so she could of have more than 4 with her when she went somewhere. So she was asked too about them. :wink: Personally I find it amazing, because I wouldn't be able to manage so many. BTW, despite of being poor my grandparents successfully grew them all and most got a high education after the school. 

But overall I find it to be a bad taste/rude to ask if those are your own kids or not. Exactly because kids can be fostered, adopted, or simply someone's else. And you may hurt the person's feelings asking about it.


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## Foxhunter (Feb 5, 2012)

There are tow children that visit here regularly. To start with they were either glued to the TV or some game or the other. 
The boy (10) started to help with the chickens and that progressed to the horses and dogs.
The girl (6) remained glued to the screens until their father left them with me for a week. That was it. No TV during the day and no games unless earned. SHe threw the most wonderful temper tantrums but did not dare to disobey the rules. (I had removed the fuse from the TV so they couldn't play their whatever it is on that! Other games were hidden.

So, she had to come help. What happened was a complete turn around, she now is first up and comes to wake me to start 'work' Not so funny as this could be as early as 4.30 a.m. when it was just getting light! 

They are away at the moment but keep saying they would rather be here. End of the day they are two tired hungry children, they eat well, allowed to watch some TV or play a board/card game, bath and bed, she before 8 p.m. and he likes to out the birds to bed so stays up a bit later. 

They love a rural life. Gone is washing hands the moment they have a bit of dirt on them, gone is wanting to change clothes the moment they have a mark on them, gone is the "I'm bored' syndrome. 

Children love to help and have things to do. I believe in starting them early so when they are bigger they can be of use.


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## stephshark (Jun 19, 2012)

Something that I find especially disturbing is the fact that many colleges now offer classes online. Isn't the who point of college to be put into a "real world" environment with your peers? Even kids who had no lives outside of their video games used to have no choice but to physically attend classes and interact with other people. I don't look forward to seeing how some of these people end up. . .


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## Paradise (Jun 28, 2012)

I never ever want to have kids, but I still know I'd do a better job raising them than half the supposed ADULTS nowadays. I don't want to have kids in part because look at what the kids around them are like. Do I really want mine influenced by that?

I am not extremely old-fashioned, nor will I be extremely strict. I've never been one for the 'You have exactly 20 minutes of TV time a day, then I'm unplugging it!' type of parents. But I will expect my children to be and behave like decent human beings. 

It absolutely BLOWS MY MIND when people come into work (I work at a restaurant) and their children are out of control. Running around screaming, bossing their parents, throwing tantrums when their parents won't buy them the $6 burger they would never be able to finish anyways. Disrespectful children make me furious, but it's the parents, when they meekly tolerate the abuse from their 6 and 7 year old children, that are the ones in need of a crack upside the head.

The media thing...I know I spend too much time with electronics, especially the internet. A couple hours less a day would do me very well. But my problem is VERY mild considering many other people I know. My best friend through school (we've sadly grown apart now) some days literally only leaves her computer to eat, sleep and shower. It is no feat for her to spend 12 or more hours a DAY online. Then wonders why she's depressed, why she's overweight, why her life seems meaningless and unreal. My mother is becoming the same way. She goes to work, sits at a desk on a computer all day, comes home and sits on the computer for another few hours, goes to bed, gets up in the morning and does it again. She too suffers from depression and mental issues. It really is true that 'if you don't use it, you lose it'. When you do NOTHING, you get used to doing NOTHING and then all you CAN do is NOTHING. I can tell, I will fully admit it, that I am a part of the useless generation. I have so little world experience that I feel like I should have by my age, that I feel like my parents had. It really and truly does scare me, the thought of my parents' generation retiring and dying, and my own having to inherit the world...because we can't do ANYTHING. Except become a level 80 paladin magician warrior on World of Warcraft, of course!

And cell phones...I didn't have one until I had a job and could pay for it. So will my kids. I can only shake my head in disbelief when 9 and 10 year olds are walking down the street, eyes downcast, fingers tapping as they text their other 9 and 10 year old friends about some apparently dire piece of news (what toys they're playing with, perhaps?). When I was 9 and 10 I was a KID. I was so naive! I still played with toys, played in the dirt and had a vivid imagination until I was 11 or 12. Kids nowadays seem to be in such a big hurry to 'grow up'...whereas here I am half wishing I could go back and be a kid again.

Wew...that went on a little longer than I intended. Rant over!


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

Paradise said:


> I never ever want to have kids, but I still know I'd do a better job raising them than half the supposed ADULTS nowadays. I don't want to have kids in part because look at what the kids around them are like. Do I really want mine influenced by that?
> 
> I am not extremely old-fashioned, nor will I be extremely strict. I've never been one for the 'You have exactly 20 minutes of TV time a day, then I'm unplugging it!' type of parents. But I will expect my children to be and behave like decent human beings.
> 
> ...


I wouldn't say you would do a better job until you have children. Im sure we all have an idea on what type of parents we would be (those of us without kids), but nothing would prepare you for having kids. You really dont know what type of parent you would end up being until you in those situations. 

I agree with DA on this one. I would much rather see a kid sitting quietly at a table in a restaurant playing on an Ipad, then running and screaming around the tables.

As far as the cell phones, it used to bother me to see a kid with a phone, because like you, I couldnt have one unless I had a job and paid for it myself. But things are different now. There are a lot more predators out there and if a kid is on the phone talking to someone, it may make the difference in something happening. And now that phones have GPS they can be easily tracked. Also, if a parent is running late, it would be nice to let the kid know instead of having him/her sit there and wonder "where are my parents?" Do I think a child should be running up a cell phone bill talking endlessly to friends? no, but there are times when they need one. Prepaid ones are perfect for kids.


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## HorseMom1025 (Jul 17, 2012)

Technology, when applied properly, in not a bad thing for kids. Honestly, I felt the same way before I had my daughter, but I bet there are more good parents using it appropriately than you think.

My 9 year old has a cell phone. We do not have a home phone...she rides the bus to and from school, so this is te only way she can contact me to let me know she made it home safely. I have it set up so she can only call or receive calls from approved numbers. The phone is silenced while at school.

She has her own laptop. The school math homework is all online. They are asking kids to do more and more on computers. My husband and I felt that we would rather buy an inexpensive machine for her schoolwork (that we can lock down), than have our computer (that we use to pay bills, work, etc) tied up every weeknight when she has homework.

She has a Nintendo DS. She rarely plays with it...but on long car rides (over an hour) or when we fly, she enjoys having it. We also take it to horse shows...when she and Acey have some downtime between classes, she will sometimes play a game. You can argue that she should be content with crayons and coloring books...but really, what's the difference except cost? My daughter knows she has to use headphones (on low volume) or turn the sound off.

DVD player in car...only for trips over 2.5 hours. One again, headphones are standard.

With all that technology, she still loves to read books, even with her dyslexia... Of course, she loves my Kindle too. I've debated getting her one of her own.

She loves to play outside and will choose to do that when her friends are all out. She spends 3 nights a week at the barn with her horse (technology free).

So, I don't think technology is ruining our kids. I think that the problems everyone here are complaining about have always exisited...they will continue to exist so long as bad parents exist. It's all about good parenting, placing reasonable limits and expectations on your child.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Cinder (Feb 20, 2011)

I think that most technology is neither good or bad, it's what an individual makes of it. 

I spend more time than I should on the computer, but I still have manners and know that there is a time and a place for things. My mom would kill me if I brought anything into a restaurant. 

On my supply list this year it said: "Access to a computer and printer". I think that a working computer is almost a necessity for many people these days. 

I do think that many kids are too connected to technology. I can not count how many kids my age have said that they dislike reading, going outside, basically anything that wasn't being on the computer, playing games, shopping, etc. I don't want to know how kids even younger are doing when most parents aren't fostering a love of reading. It really saddens me that people don't know how to enjoy a good book, or don't realize that there are many, many different kinds- it's literally impossible or close to it to not be able to find SOMETHING you like. 

Once we had a bad storm here, the power was off for quite a while, I think somewhere around two weeks. I wrote stories, read, drew, etc. I think many kids would not know what to do with themselves if the same thing were to happen to them.


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## busysmurf (Feb 16, 2012)

We are the only family in my 9 yr olds class that does NOT have an iPad, a DA, a Wii, or any other video game thingy's. And I've been told we are way to strict because of it, mwaaahaahaa, LOL
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

I don't think manners are affected by electronics. There are, and always will be, parents that raise ill mannered children. I like all of my children and all of my animals to know the rules, so I communicate them clearly. Some parents don't appear to have any rules _too_ communicate clearly or otherwise, and probably find handing their little monsters electronics an easy way to get a moment of undeserved peace.

I think children need to be familiarized w electronics these days, which requires they start pretty darn early to "wire" the eye to hand coordination.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

That is a sensible approach.

I agree with that and find it irritating to see so many kids raised without basic manners. I dont' mean like finishing school table manners, I mean like "please and thankyou and excuse me and all".
Oh, while we are on pet peeves, my biggest is folks who allow children to interrupt endlessly. ARGH!


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Posting from mobile so I can't multi-quote.

Someone mentioned about online college courses. Yes, college is a big experience for many. However, realize that MANY college students are not fresh out of high school. I'm currently enrolled in 2 courses online this semester and I'm the youngest in both classes - I'm 33.

And to the one who said they didn't like seeing a kid with a cell phone - how do you feel about a kid with a horse and trainer at a horse show? They're not paying for that either.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Paradise (Jun 28, 2012)

DancingArabian said:


> And to the one who said they didn't like seeing a kid with a cell phone - how do you feel about a kid with a horse and trainer at a horse show? They're not paying for that either.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


The kid with the horse and trainer at the show might actually make something of that. The kid on the horse is outside, interacting with other humans and animals, being active and learning. The child texting her friend about something mundane and unecessary is not.

It's not the 'paying' that bothers me. If I was bothered by parents paying for kids' things, I would be angry that parents buy them toys, books, treats, anything that they don't NEED. Kids have no ability to pay for anything, it would be ridiculous for me to say that.

What bothers me is how badly cell phones take over their lives, and I'm asking: why would you start them that young? I know when I was in high school I was irritated to no end by the kids who would sit at their desks staring at their crotches as they tried to text friends in classes down the hall, ignoring the teacher and their work and just generally displaying no manners at all. Yes, it is a little irksome to me that 10 year olds are now picking up that habit. 

Now that many of you have explained it, I can understand wanting your kids to be able to stay in contact, and I applaud the ones that have cell phone 'necessary calls only' plans. It's the kids who are WITH their parents, walking down the street texting, ignoring everybody else in real life who is talking to them, that I'm talking about. It's not just kids, either. I know plenty of adults who are just as obsessed with their cell phones, it's just that when you look at kids doing it it sort of seems like: 'What a shame', you know? This is our future.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Paradise, I tend to believe (maybe "hope" is a better choice of words) that w new tech, new norms emerge. I would not be surprised if "texting manners" will evolve and solidify. I notice this w my daughters friends - they appear to not text when attending a party, for example, or speaking to a parent while in that parent's home. My daughter's school does not allow cell phones to be out or on (ring) during school - or they will be taken away and the only person that can retrieve them is the parent. So, it is evolving.

btw...is that your team? I have never been able to stay awake in a wagon, but they look so fun!


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## busysmurf (Feb 16, 2012)

Does anyone else find it ironic we are having this discussion on an INTERNET forum??? ROFL
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Chiilaa (Aug 12, 2010)

A lot of judgement here. I bet you wouldn't feel as happy if the "techno-allowing" parents were saying that you were bad parents for not letting your kids do stuff they allow. 

Every parent parents differently. If they didn't, we would have armies of clones. My way is different to your way and different to her way over there. Being different does not equal wrong. You see a parent copping out of teaching their kid how to sit still when bored... I see a parent who doesn't want their child to be bored. Perspective is everything in this world, and everyone has their own. Before you judge someone's choices and skills, think if you would like yours to be judged in turn.


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## EvilHorseOfDoom (Jun 17, 2012)

It's an interesting thought. My brothers and I grew up with no technology - no TV, no computer, no handheld games. We spent about an hour at the park every day playing make believe stuff, read books til our eyes fell out of our heads (regular trips to the local library and a good collection of books at home) and played indoor games like chess. We also used to invent new games, design cities, build stuff from lego, make cardboard "surfboards" (they were covered in crayon underneath so were really slippery - so much fun!!), have musical jam sessions...so many different things.

My sisters both grew up with technology - Dad eventually gave in to the idea of a TV and computer. My 5yo sister plays computer games, can navigate around kids' websites, changes DVDs etc. But both my sisters still read lots of books (yes, even the little one - she insists on reading ME books). I'm confident they could both also keep themselves entertained perfectly well if there was a blackout! And the 5yo sister talks like a little adult.

It's probably easier in big families - there's always someone to play with. Sometimes I think parents do use technology as a "babysitter" because they are too busy to do stuff with their kids, but as long as what they're doing or viewing is of quality and suitable for their age group, I don't see an issue.


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## HagonNag (Jul 17, 2010)

Visited my grandchildren this weekend. C will be 3 in Sept., J will be 5 in Feb. Both of them used I-pads to entertain themselves while in a restaurant waiting for dinner. Bright, bright kids, totally out of control and need to be entertained every. single. minute. I don't blame technology. I blame the parents. We live 10 hours away and I bite my tongue a lot. Darn tongue is getting ragged.


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## ilovepie32 (Apr 26, 2012)

My parents spoil my 3 year old sister. I'm 19 and when I was little I had to entertain myself. Of course my brother and I had a fourwheeler, and I had a pony. We spent a lot of time and my grandmas house playing with toy trucks and playing little kid games(tag, hide and seek, etc.).. My 3 year old sister plays on iPhones, throws a fit if someone tells her no, and then gets her way for it. I can't stand it. I really wish my parents would control her!!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

I "love" all of these comments! BUNCH of AWESOME parents on here!
Of course technology isn't bad in certain circumstances, BUT...

It drives me MAD when I am around tech spoiled kids. Not only do I see them being raised by it, but they are so devoid of "normal" social skills. I'm talking the extreme cases here. I have a nephew who has every gadget known to man. He is completely disrespectful about it, even has the nerve to tune you out FBing and texting friends. This all started when HE WAS 9!!! He has some other major issues and some of them I BELIEVE stem from him playing inappropriate games and just a lack of parenting all together. So par for a bunch of kids today.

When my brother and I were younger we were POOR. Our best toys were odd bits of rope and sticks. We were outside 24/7, there wasn't a day I can remember that was too hot or too cold. Then our situation started improving, we moved out to a farm, and I got a horse! My brother on the other hand got play stations and nintendo s. He now has an extensive criminal record, lives off welfare and is just a deadbeat. He has no clue how to function in the real world, no "git er done" attitude and spends every waking hour in front of a tv, drooling, with controls in his hands. I am the complete polar opposite.
Now, that's an extreme example but I see it ALL the time in people younger than me. 

Our kid is an only child. It isn't as easy as having a brood to send off in the woods to play or entertain each other. I struggle with just letting her wander around in the yard alone! (5 acres with snakes, bears, etc.)
Most of the time she is "working" with me. I'm doing my art and she colors, or I have her help tape and sketch. She has a HUGE room that keeps her pretty busy and a play area on the patio with a sand box and lots of "stuff" like chalk and sea shells to make patterns with.
I do let her watch some cartoons, but only the classic ones and she has a NOOK but mostly for reading and NEVER in public. The games I did let her put on it are all highly strategic, like mazes and puzzles, that crocodile game with the water, and those mystery ones where you have to solve riddles and find clues. I think of those as animated puzzle books, not really "games". When she first figured out our phones we did put some learning games and Angry Birds on them to occupy her in the long car rides to town, guilty. But we don't let her touch tech around family (I understand HagonNag, it would drive my parents and grandparents up the wall, me too!). Never while at dinner in/out either! We talk or play the color mat games WITH HER. She is often complimented as being the smartest most polite little kid people have ever come across. Some of my friends don't like to let their kids play with mine because she's so much better behaved and it embarrasses them! It's so sad when I hear them make excuses for their kid's bad behavior.

I'm no "special" parent, but I do raise my kid instead of placate her. Big difference.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Oh, as far as saying something when kids are being bad in public...
I just make a point to PRIASE the ones I see acting good! Especially telling the parents "RIGHT ON!" when they get on to their kids in the grocery and restaurants.
We need to support them for doing such a good job and maybe influence bystanders to do the same the next time they see something good.


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## Maple (Jan 10, 2012)

ilovepie32 said:


> My parents spoil my 3 year old sister. I'm 19 and when I was little I had to entertain myself. Of course my brother and I had a fourwheeler, and I had a pony. We spent a lot of time and my grandmas house playing with toy trucks and playing little kid games(tag, hide and seek, etc.).. My 3 year old sister plays on iPhones, throws a fit if someone tells her no, and then gets her way for it. I can't stand it. I really wish my parents would control her!!
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


 
Completely off topic... but I just gotta say when I see your name my first thought is "what kinda pie" then I realise it's not THAT pie :lol:



FlyGap said:


> Oh, as far as saying something when kids are being bad in public...
> I just make a point to PRIASE the ones I see acting good! Especially telling the parents "RIGHT ON!" when they get on to their kids in the grocery and restaurants.
> We need to support them for doing such a good job and maybe influence bystanders to do the same the next time they see something good.


Can I just say a thank you to you for that... obviously you haven't said it to me but there is one heck of a sense of achievement when people do that. I've had it happen on several occasions with my daugher and I came away feeling fantastic. I do say thank you to the people, but thank you doesn't quite cover how much it means to hear something compliment my parenting. 

WHen I was pregnant with my daughter, I was told by my inlaws that they were very concerned about how I'd be. I'm not a kid person, I have no time for my obnoxious ignorant and incredibly unruley nephew and rather than say anything about his behaviour, they put it down to me being horrible and not good with kids. For somebody to walk up and compliment my parenting... it's just unreal. 

I'm always slightly concerned with my kids in public.. and yes we did go through the "throw herself on the floor in the shop screaming because i wont get her something" which thankfully only happened a few times as I stepped over her and carried on like it wasn't happening until she got up, dusted herself off and sheepishly followed me without another word.


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## Palomine (Oct 30, 2010)

And is it not amazing that these gadget genius kids can't spell? 

I also get amazed at how, when hearing a kid out in public, thinking it is a toddler by the manner in which it is speaking, only to look and see it is a 10 year old, who has obviously been babified to death.

And what is so hard about teaching your kids not to fidget? 

Jumping around like they've got pinworms.


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## Jessabel (Mar 19, 2009)

I'm shocked at the difference just between me and my younger brothers (4 and 8 years younger than me). When I was little, I read books, colored, and played with dolls. When I was bored, I'd take my dad's shaving cream, smear it on the bathroom counter, and draw pictures. :lol: The only electronic toy I had was a Furby, and it scared the daylights out of me. I was never allowed to take anything into restaurants, either.

Now my 12 year old brother has an iPhone that he never takes his eyes off of. When I was that age, I didn't even know what the internet was! And we're in the same generation. :-| Crazy. I know a lady that bought her 7 year old kids a Wii because she just didn't want to deal with them. That's the easy way out these days: just plunk your kids down in front of a screen and leave them alone. Why even have children if that's your attitude?


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## Paradise (Jun 28, 2012)

Jessabel said:


> Why even have children if that's your attitude?


EXACTLY! Some people don't seem to realize that having kids is an OPTION, not something you HAVE to do to be a human being. 

These people also don't seem to realize that having kids is a HUGE responsibility. You are creating a life. This child is going to grow up and become a member of society. Regardless of what you feel or think, it should be your DUTY as a parent to raise them right. The best thing a person can do for their kids (in my humble opinion), to prove you love them, is not to spoil them and never tell them 'no', but to give them a good start in life, and teach them to be functional humans. They won't be happy as the 4 year old in the store when you tell them they can't get a toy, but years down the line, when they're old enough to understand things and to start living their own life, they will be thankful.

I guess it's the same with horses nowadays, though. People still love horses, but somehow in these modern times love somehow equates to treats and spoiling and never standing up for yourself or enforcing things that need to be.

edit: I'm also glad to see the large number of parents on here who are real parents. Well done!


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