# I just dont seem to enjoy riding anymore...



## kiwi79 (Nov 11, 2011)

Just wondering if anyone else has ever felt like this and whether they stopped riding for awhile and got back into it or just carried on or got out of it completely? I have had my current gelding for a short time (about 3-4 months) and before I brought him I was dealing with issues of suddenly finding myself a rather nervous rider. My horse was sold to me as a confidence builder and while I feel ok on him he does the odd spook and I just dont feel that confident riding him. He is a funny horse, not people orientated at all and not what I would call a confident horse. But he is for the most part a calm horse and has never bucked or bolted on me. I just find these days that I really have to push myself to ride him, its almost become a chore and I am much happier just spending time on the ground with him and my mini mare. I think I have gotten so caught up in thinking about all the dangers of riding that I feel relieved when I am back on the ground. I know it is early days with him and probably too early to tell whether we just arent a good match but I dont feel like I have any trust in him. I also feel like he is quite a hard horse to read, the horse I borrowed last winter from my neighbour (a stocky little quarter horse) could put in some good bucks but he never got me off and aside from that was a great horse to ride. He would go anyway and I really enjoyed riding him. He was a very straight forward horse and I felt like I trusted him much more than my current horse. I just dont know where my trust issues come from because he hasnt really done anything to make me not trust him. Sorry for the long spiel, any thoughts would be much appreciated! At this stage I am thinking I might sell him come summer time and see how things go through winter/spring time.
Thanks!


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## Saranda (Apr 14, 2011)

You don't HAVE to ride. Just do what you feel like doing and what you enjoy. Horses feel our emotions very well and, if you don't feel like riding, he feels your stress and anxiety, and also tenses up. Besides, he won't miss you riding - but he will miss you being happy and relaxed. I once didn't ride for about two months, although I had just bought the horse of my dreams, and we made such great progress in our groundwork, connection and relationships, that I loved every single second of this decision!


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## KissTheRing (Aug 2, 2011)

I went through an INSANE (haha) stage where I quit horses- I just didn't feel a connection with any horse we owned- And when you board its easy to say "Nah I dont want to go" ect. It wasn't till I found myself completly alone (I had just moved) that I got back into horses- Saw a beauty at a local show and knew he had to be mine-
So what If you dont have a connection with that horse- Fix him up good and give him to hopefully his dream kid. OR

Try some ground work- I always recommend John Lyons Round Pen training- even if your horse is a veteran He'll learn something, and so will you


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## StarfireSparrow (Jan 19, 2009)

If you feel like riding is not fun or is stressful, I would back off of it for now. You can do a LOT to build a good relationship with him doing ground work and just generally spending time with him. 

After I had to sell my mare due to the economy, I had no desire to ride even though I had free access to one of the best horses I have ever ridden. Prior to this, I would beg my friend to let me ride her horse because I just loved how fine tuned and well trained he was. My mare had been lame for almost 2 years before I sold her, so I had not even ridden her all that much, but as soon as she was gone, so was my desire to ride at all. My best friend would rearrange her schedule and coax me to come riding with her, but it was always a labor not a joy. We both realized this and stopped trying to force it and after about 8 months, I just got the itch out of the blue. I started riding with her every chance I got and even stepped up and bought a new filly to train. Now, even though she lives almost 2 hours away, I make the drive an average of once a week to ride with her while my little gal grows up.

My advice is to not put pressure on yourself. One day, you will just know the answer, but don't force it. Chances are you are in a rut and if you just relax and not worry about it, you will get the fire back.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Been there.. just back off of it for awhile. You're just burned out. Give it some time, maybe lease them out as you're taking a break so they still get exercise.


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## Paintlover1965 (May 22, 2009)

I understand what you're saying as about four years ago I felt like I may have bitten off a little more than I could chew so to speak with my Paint horse. I really had to push myself to go to the barn as I never knew what might happen next. My horse had a lot of go and was spooky to boot. I decided I needed another perspective and had some lessons throughout the next summer and we started to make swift progress. I think the only things that kept me going was that he was very people orientated and my own stubbornness. If you do not click with your horse at all given some time spent then you could hopefully find him a better match. For now I agree with the OP that it would be best to work on the ground until you feel up to riding again. Best of luck!


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## attackships (Jan 12, 2012)

i didnt like horseback riding at all for a long time. i was originally interested when i was first taking lessons, and i had a pony who i loved. but i was getting older and just more interested in other things. it didnt help that i didnt like my trainer and that i didnt have any friends that rode. when i was starting to outgrow my pony my parents talked to me about getting a horse. we looked at horses for a short while. i didnt find any i wanted to ride so we just kind of forgot about it and i told them that i wasn't all that interested in horses anymore. 

then one day they just randomly surprise me with a horse... it was honestly so weird. i never rode her before or knew anything about her and i had no idea why they gave me a horse. i mean i was thankful of course that they spent money and were giving me a gift but i was so confused. i was just kinda thinking "well now i gotta be responsible for this horse" lol

the vet didn't like her at all and told my parents she'd probably go lame, she had really bad conformation that caused her to have really awkward gaits that sshe kinda fell over herself a lot, she was nervous as hell.. like a true anxious wreck. She didn't know how to trot under saddle..... apparently the girl who rode her before only cantered her. she had a lot of really weird quirks like you can touch her ears but if you spend a little too long touching her ears she would panic (so i had to like rush with bridling or else she'd freak) i honestly freakin hated that horse but i took daily care of her for years, despite the fact that i didn't enjoy myself. it was more of a job than anything else. i had stopped taking lessons at 10 yrs old and just did the same old thing with my mare for the next 8 years. 

college is when i took a break from riding, i moved away and could not bring my horse with me. it was a nice break. i didn't miss riding, but i did miss taking care of my horse. i didnt think anyone else would take good enough care of her. 

after i graduated i moved back home and realized i wanted to get back into horses. i joined this forum actually right when i was deciding i wanted to learn more about horsemanship instead of just doing the same old thing i've been doing since i was 10 years old. I'm completely hooked right now, a lot of it is due to this forum and reading what other people have to say and how passionate they are about horses. i've learned more in this year probably than i did the past 12.

i've just learned how to enjoy them and stopped looking at it as some job i'd rather avoid.


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## Rascaholic (Oct 4, 2010)

I can't help with this problem. I've never been there. For me horses are always a relaxation, not a chore. Even cleaning stalls, fencing, pasture upkeep, etc are things I enjoy. Sorry  I know I am weird lol


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## Remy410 (Nov 7, 2011)

I'm in the same place. I brought my mare home from her boarding barn a few months ago and although I love having her around and taking care of her, I hate riding her. She can be a little spastic, plus I have no one to ride with at home. She's 23 and has arthritis, so I just do the minimum I have to to keep her somewhat in shape. She sure doesn't mind.


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## Hunter65 (Aug 19, 2009)

I go through period when I don't feel like riding but I think its because I haven't out on the trails in a while and am getting really bored of arena riding. UGH! Never have like arena riding. So I find new things to do both on the ground and in the saddle to keep us both interested. I love hanging out at the barn, picking paddocks and just hanging.


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## Jessabel (Mar 19, 2009)

You don't have to ride. Plenty of people just keep them as pets, including me. My horses _can_ be ridden, but I'd rather just hang out with them. :3

Trust doesn't come free. You haven't known your horse long enough to be able to read him. You probably don't know how he reacts to different situations, what he'll tolerate, etc. The only way to know him is to spend lots of time with him. If you work with him constantly, you'll know him inside and out and you'll be much more confident in him (and he in you). Give him a chance. He sounds like a nice horse.


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## RosiePosie06 (Jun 3, 2012)

Maybe you should try something new to do do while riding? While I was trying to train Ryan for WP I got to where I DID NOT want to ride. I quit that and now we just do what we want We're currently working on dressage movements like the half halt and half pass... So try finding something you want to teach your horse


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## shandasue (Nov 22, 2011)

Rascaholic said:


> I can't help with this problem. I've never been there. For me horses are always a relaxation, not a chore. Even cleaning stalls, fencing, pasture upkeep, etc are things I enjoy. Sorry  I know I am weird lol


haha me and you could be great friends! thats what i was thinking!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## kiwi79 (Nov 11, 2011)

Thanks everyone for your helpful thoughts. I still really enjoy the non-riding side. For me mucking out is something I almost look forward to most of the time (which is good because on our small block it needs to be done daily!), its my time to switch off and get a bit of exercise while being around the horses. The same goes with grooming, cleaning tack, weeding etc. 
Also the riding options are really limited for me too around here. I can ride with a neighbour through their larger section but she is pretty busy most of the time. So it means riding around the paddock or down along the stream and back which gives me about a 15 minute ride! 
But doing ground work is a good idea, I will start doing that with him and see how it helps with building up a bond. 
It gets pretty boggy here over winter so if I aim to do mostly ground work over that time and see where we are come spring then at least I will know I have given the relationship a decent go.


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## eclipseranch (May 31, 2012)

Rascaholic said:


> I can't help with this problem. I've never been there. For me horses are always a relaxation, not a chore. Even cleaning stalls, fencing, pasture upkeep, etc are things I enjoy. Sorry  I know I am weird lol


oh my gosh you enjoy fencing & stalls..if you are ever up North in Missouri...jkjk I agree I love just hearing the sound in the barn during feeding..from the nickering to the munching of hay.
OP good for you for recognizing your own feelings & not letting them come out in a negative fashion..do what is right for you & the horse not what other people think you should do!


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## kiwi79 (Nov 11, 2011)

Just wanted to post an update for those that commented. I have been taking things slowly and spending a lot of time with my horse on the ground. We went for a short ride alone yesterday and it went really well. I felt so much more confident and actually felt like I enjoyed myself for the first time in awhile. Then had another ride with my neighbour today and although he was being a little strong I felt pretty good. Considering I was riding without a helmet (which I never do, only because I have a big lump on my forehead from a tree branch, not horse related)I was surprised how relaxed I felt. And it definitely made him more relaxed too, even when he jumped from my mini charging up behind us it didnt get the heart pounding like it did in the past. Anyway, baby steps and I think I am starting to feel a bit more of a bond with him now. Yay!


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## Prinella (Jul 12, 2011)

That's awesome!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Hunter65 (Aug 19, 2009)

Thats great!


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## StarfireSparrow (Jan 19, 2009)

I'm so glad to hear that! Keep up the good work and just enjoy yourself.


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## palominolover (Apr 28, 2010)

I'm with rascaholic, never been there. I've been in LOVE with horses since I could breathe pretty much ;P. Good luck with whatever direction you chose . Edit: Didn't see your last post. That's EXCELLENT, maybe it's your thing after all .


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