# Deep Thoughts; AKA Tiny's silly journal



## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I offer his as a tidbit that might help someone who gets stuck in a rut of negative behavior with their horse. For example, the horse doesn't want to do something, they want it to do that, they have almost a tradition of fighting each other about it, the human getting annoyed and angry, the horse becoming tense and resistant and learning to really dislike going out with that human.

If we can stop in the middle of that loop of frustration and change the way we talk to ourselves in our brains (I am assuming that like me, you have a practiacally non-stop narrative in your head), we can possible change our whole approach. And if you've been doing the same old thing and getting the same old results, then only a change will get a change.


So, Say this to yourself when you want your horse to take a canter and he wont' "I am going to convince you to take that canter"
When he won't leave the barn, when he won't stop and stay stopped. 
It's not that you'll necessarily change your actions, but if you keep focussed on your mission being to get the horse to think on doing what you want him to do, he likely carry it out better, and more on his own, and that's got to lighten things. So, it's a matter of perspective. Do you have to MAKE that darn , ornery stubborn critter do those things, or do you have to CONVINCE him to go do them himself.


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

This should turn into an interesting discussion. I tend to agree with the "convincing' idea although I think there are horses that can be forced into doing things, mine is not one of them. He will do just about anything as long as I approach it right. Sometimes we'll try something new and he'll really argue about it, if I back up... Give him a few moments to process it, and come back... He'll do it, willingly.... If I force him, we hit a brick wall and things end up with us both angry and disgruntled.... I like the slower agreeable approach better....


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Well, convincing usually requires strategy. If I were to convince a human, I'd pick the strategy that works best for that person. Same wih the horse.
I just love watching the horse's ears and eyes to see if I actually have convinced them to change their mind about something. Sometimes, I think I really got through, others, well, it's a temporary convinceing, which really isn't a convinceing at all. My trainer can convince a horse to just LOVE being ridden by her. Now, that is cool!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

ok, I got mixed up. Deep Thoughts was not the skit that Al Franken did.

IT's this one:

Hulu - Playlist: The 50 Best Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

and this take off on it:





 

and this is the guy who did the "Daily Affirmations with Stuart Smalley"




 
I mixed the two up in my head. Too much yakking going on in there.

Back to those Deep Thoughts.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Ok. my silly thread, so I can post whatever I want, right?

this is a reminder to me to write about the 
*riding with the hand brake on *

and

*taking a snapshot.*

Will explain later.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Ok, since this is my journal, i think I'd better write about those things I made a note to myself to write on, now, before I forget what those notes even mean.

Ya see, all these "deep thoughts" came from today's very easy ride on Z. we walked the most of it 'cause my back and knee are troubling me too much for a lot of posting or cantering.

Continuing on from what we'd been workin on from our last ride, I wanted to use every opportunity that arose, and create some myself, to test Z's obedience to stop, and stay stopped. I had had a bit of a battle with him earlier where I'd stop, drop the reins on his neck and he'd then just leak forward and start walking for home. I'd pick up the reins, stop him back him up to where he had been being sure that he rocked back on his haunches, then released the rein completely so that he can choose to make the same mistake, or choose to stand. 

My goal is to have him stand long enough that he gives up his thought to move forward. You know how when a horse wants to go home, his body is revving for home, and so is his brain. So, yes, you stop him but he is almost leaning forward with so much intention in his brain to move forward as soon as he can. He may be stopped by he is oblivious to his rider and is focussed on that first step forward. I wait for a change in that mental focus. How do I know it's changed? Well, I look for him to look back at me, or to take a deep breath and exhale loosly, to rock back on his haunche, to look at the ferns for a yummy nibble, . I look for him to cock an ear back on me AND an eye, such that he is asking" NOw?". 
BECAUSE, I want to be the one that says, "ok, go now". 
So, I have to have him stopped before it is ME who says go, and not just him pausing in his forward motion, engine still revving but momentarily in nuetral til I let off the brake and he can surge forward.
If he never stopped, then he is just leaning into the brakes and wearing them out.


It's essential that he stop long enough, and with enough release of that thought, that when he goes forward, the forward motion be MY idea, not just him carrying out the thought that he never let go of..

AND essential to that is that the cue to going forward NOT be just a loosening of the rein. That's like driving your care along , stopping by the brake and then taking the brake off and expecting your car to surge forward on it's own. A car that did that would be in constant foward push, including whenever you had the brake on, so it would wear down the brake in no time.

If you let your horse go forward just by releaseing the rein (no signal from either seat or leg) then your horse will not recognize a dropped rein as meaning "stand here". He will think that a release in the rein means speed up. What it means is "you did the right thing". (I ask horse to stop. he stops, I drop rein. that's his reward) 
So , by allowing horse to move forward only by dropping your rein, you are expecting him to be leaning against the rein, pushing forward, and held in check only when the rein is engaged. he is running against your brake all the time, and "wearing it out" , meaning , "making it less meaningful"


So, my thing to work on is that I will not allow Z to move off only by lowering/looseing the rein. He moves off when I ask with seat or leg, and only then. If I drop the rein, I expect him to do nothing.

Now, let's see how conisistant I can be about that one!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

and here is "taking a snap shot"

Ok, so since I was mostly only able to walk I decided to try and focus on my seat as we walked down the forested trail. I would do this thing where I would just anywhere I thought of it, "take a snapshop" of my body. I would pretend to take a freeze frame image of my whole body at THAT moment (randomly selected) and see waht I could tell about my position.

Now!

Ok, my left seatbone is into the saddle harder than my right, i have a bit too much curl in my lower back, my left knee is out again to the side. I am doing that silly thing where I crook my head to the right to see Z's right eye, and I am slumping again.

Only a pro can keep extreme body awareness at every moment. but, I can be extremely aware for very short snapshots in time.

Try it. ride along and randomly surprise yourself and take a snapshot of your position and see what you feel .


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

So, today I took Z out with a friend on Mac and we did some urban riding. We went through some neighborhoods, riding in the street or on the sidewalk, then down through some condo developments with the guys pressure washing, past the elementary school with the kids out screaming and playing on the playground, past the costruction site where they had one of those giant concrete pouring thingys, crossed two four lane boulevards, past the golf course, over the 8 lane interstate freeway and down some trails to where they dead end on a busy road. We did not try to cross it and go into the park on the other side beacuse of time and because techinically speaking, horses aren't allowed in that park. 

It was quite the ride, and the hroses did so incredibly well, all in all . It was very stressful to Z and he worried quite a bit and had a few spooks, but nothing bad happened. That's important to remember when you go through a lot of places where something bad COULD happen. it's important to say,

"Nothing bad happened". Like, at one point there was some kind of sewer opening where we could see and hear rushing water, but only when you get really close to it. passing it the first time, Z jumped forward in a panic . coming back he was upset trying to pass it. He wanted to get past , wanted to go home, but the water was there , and kind of pinching him against a trail marker and a high tension wire used to keep a telephone pole upright. He needed to face the scarey thing, but he also could not swing his butt over too far or he'd bump into that wire , and THAT could have been bad. So, I was kind of riding a fine line between allowing him to move forward, but not allowing him to run away from the scary thing. Making him turn toward the scary thing but not totally (so his butt would not hit the wire). It was a bit touch and go, but we got past it. and I walked him forawrd a bit, then encouraged him to canter up the hill so he could dispell the pent up energy from all the stress.

Coming back, when we hit the turn around point, Z wanted to just charge up the hill. I started at a trot, them with my body let him know it was ok to go up a gait and he was off! galloping up that hill and jumping over the small rain diversion boards they put in the trails. He doest just time his stride to stride right over them, he jumps them! So, I felt a bit challenged at times to be guaranteed safe in the saddle. (which is what you want when you get older; a guarantee)

anyway, when we got back to the place where it was crossing the freeway (on an overpass), the noise reverberating was intense. Z was THIS close to totally losing it! I have not ever been on him where I felt that he was going to loose it. I had to let him move forward, but not allow him to committ to bolting, and disengage him a bit, but not make his so frustrated that he though about bucking. It was this kind of balancing act. Riding a steam engine; got to let off just enough that it won't blow, but not start the train running .

Anyway, a more confident rider would have had fewer such incidents, but a less confident rider could have had a runaway horse. I am somewhere in the middle, balancing the release of that steam.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I've been out twice now on Z lately where I felt that he was becoming resistant to me and I was responding by becoming harsh in my hands. Basically, getting MAD at him. I think it's because I've felt threatened a couple of times when he decided to take a trot to a cnater and then to ignore my hands, and start to get hard. it's that feeling of him going away mentally that I find a bit scary.


He has been less in tune with me on the rides, more just wanting to hurry up and get it over with and go home. it's silly, in know, but I want him to want to be out, as much as I do.

I will get a lesson on Z in late March, and boy do I need it! I feel that my seat is all over the place, I am riding too much off my hands and struggling to keep my lower leg stable. It's partly from my back being painful sometimes, so I end up riding defensively with my lower back, which means stiff, which means it's hard for me to allow Z to move under me.

I wonder what it's like for him to carry me. I hope it's not something that he really hates. I know that when his owner rides, he gets to go for long canters and she can two point nicley and he likes that. Sorry Z.


I was helping my friend to learn how to do a good disengagement of the hind, followed by having the horse step the front on through. I just barely have a good grasp on how it should feel myself. But she liked how I described it and she said, "you should be a riding teacher". 

I wish!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Well, went out on Z again today. Riding him frequently is the only way I can gain, and maintain, enough condition to be able to ride him frequently. You know what I mean? It's just that he does take a fair amount of strength to ride, and if I dont' ride him regularly, I end up being perpetually struggling.

which makes me wonder how many folks are in that situation; they never get to ride enough to where it gets "easy". So, they think riding is hard.
I think I have never really been in a state of physical fitness as a rider that even comes near to that of folks that ride all the time. I would just love to be in the body of an Olympic dressage rider and get to feel what muscles they use, and how hard and all. I bet it'd be quite the education.


z was spunky today, but less dorky. He still gets really strong if we canter in the homeward direction, which we do. In general, the way home tends to be more uphill oriented, so naturally more comfy for faster gaits. We did some arena work and I was reminded how Z likes to fall into the circle . I got some canter departs, but they weren't really all that pretty. But, at least I got them and had him canter several times. Used to be that just one canter on him would scare the dickens out of me.

going home, we galloped up the dump trail and then took seveal other canters. the last hill, he galloped up and then crested the hill and just continued cantering down the trail. his ears were pricked forward and he was really game to go. I was just marginally comfortable with my seat and allowed him to canter on a bit, but had to ease him down because I cannot let him work himself up into a bolt for home.. I need to find a place that is open where I can let him really rip! I think I am nearly ready for that.

No deep thoughts today, just admitting that I had a great ride and that I rode well! I pat myself ont he back.


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## Cacowgirl (Feb 19, 2011)

A great ride can really clear the cobwebs out of the brain! Glad you had a great day.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

somebody is actually reading this junk? I am amazed. and flattered. Thanks for your time and your encouragement. A good ride is the best medicine.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Rode today, yesterday and a day or two before that. I am trying so hard to build up the muscles needed to ride Z well.

The other day when we were riding, Z was being kind of anxious, as he's been quite a bit lately. He wants to run for home, so if I pick up a trot in the direction of home, he starts to hollow out and his trot footfalls become super heavy. It makes his trot all the harder to ride, and I noticed that I end up hollowing out MY back . I had heard one trainer describe how when horses hollow out the back like that, the rider struggles not to fall back into the "man trap" that the saddle becomes. I don't know about that, but I do find that posting is harder and I end up bumping down hard on Z's back and it hurts MY back (which now hurts me all the time).

So, the thought of how my back matches the horse's back in this hollowing out got me to thinking, "if I straighten my back and tuck my pelvis under, will it encourace him to match me?".
Yep.
It did. Not making my back a "C", but taking out the curve that makes my butt pooch out backways. and then building the sense of connecting to my seat to my hands, and sure enough, Z kind of slowed and lifted his back a bit. 
The only way for me to do this on Z when he is already moving really heavy and pounding along is for me to intensely engage my core and hold it for every stepfall. I have to really be like a tyrant to my body to keep it from returning to the hollowed out position. 

Since I am trying to protect my lower back (which has some disk trouble, apparently) I have to really keep my pelvis tucked under so that my back is pretty straight. if I dont', and Z makes a sudden move, then I get pain in my back there.. I visualize my curved tailbone hooking forward as I roll the pelvis back a bit, almost like I hook it INTO Z's backbone.

Here's another wierd mental image I've been using lately. Since Z has been way more reactive lately; spooking at stumps and just being more worried, if he starts to raise his head and hollow out, I know he might dodge or prop or make a sudden movement that will hurt my back. So, to prepare me physically, and to help me not become too worried myself, I do the pelvis tuck described and I think of it as offering my CORE to him. I say to myself, "I'm here for you" , and that "I" is my pelvic core, which I project a bit more forward and ask him to come back to and feel of me there, to kind of hook into me there. This helps me to connect with him via seat, instead of getting nervous and hanging on to him with my hands more.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

*So, your horse was "with you" today . . .*

Some days your horse is more with you than other days. You’ll go out to get him and the way he is really looking to you for direction, and seeming to read your mind about how to go through the gate, to move off to one side or to leave the tasty tuft of grass. You say to yourself, “Gee, Z is really with me today” , and you feel so appreciative and loving and in awe of the perfectness of you horse.
Then, it hits you; it’s not so much that your horse is with *you;* it’s that you are with him! The truth is, that your horse is right there with you a whole lot more of the time than you realize. It’s just that since you are not with him, you think he is not with you. You don’t see every time he looks to you, or reacts with a defensive stiffen of his jaw, or he reaches forward with that questioning look, “Do you want me to come forward?”, so trusting and honest. You don’t notice him reaching out to and reacting to you because you are not WITH him. You are somewhere else, missing these many, many opportunities to answer your horse’s question, “Are you with me?”

As soon as you bring your gigantic and flighty human attention back from where ever it was talking to itself, or planning tonight’s dinner, or rehashing a spousal spat, or looking at the watch and wondering if there’s time for a ride. As soon as you draw inward to the circle that is filled by your horse and yourself, you get the awareness of the possibilities when your horse is with YOU and you are with HIM.
That’s the kind of day when progress is made.

I had that kind of a day with Z today. I almost kept up doing what I was doing too long, but I was smart enough to stop at a really good place. Z is such a willing horse that if I reward him for his willingness, I get many fold more back from him. 

 But conversely, if I try to make him move his feet somewhere before he is willing to do so, he gets a bit confused, or even resentful. I think a horse can often be resentful of you moving its feet when you don’t have his attention. On the other hand, if he is refusing to bring his attention away from something outside the paddock or such, and you have to get bigger than the draw of that attention, then the unpleasantness that the horse experiences by basically being “rudely” Interrupted, will make him more likely to remember that lesson and be less likely to move his attention off of the handler for very long or very hard. Hopefully, once that brisk lesson is learned, you can work softly enough to have him thinking about what you want (becoming willing) before you ask him to move his feet.

Today, when I realized this about Z, I really tried hard to remember to direct his thought before directing his feet. Man , what a great time we had!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

So, after having that marvelous day with Z doing ground work I rode him yesterday. we mostly just did some trail walking, with some trotting and a short bit of work at the canter in the arena.

I have a problem in my back that has been bothering me for nearly 4 years, but only mildly until this last year, when it's gotten worse. Anyway, the reason I mention it here is that the Physical therapist is having me work on engageing my ******* muscles as much as possible when walking, and naturally, for riding, too. I can't remember the name of the muscles, "tranverse" something or other. 

Anyway, so as I keep myself focussed to keep those muscles engaged, I was also thinking about what I read in Mary Wanless's book about dressage that talked about "bearing down". It's kind of a pushing outward, so she says. I am trying to figure out how you can engage your core tranverse muscles , which is a pulling inward of the lower abs toward the inner spine, and at the same time bear down/out, as she advises. They seems contrary things.

What I discoverd is if by engageing the lower core muscles I kind of form a firm barrier that I then bear outward agains. kind of like pushing out agains a belt that is tightened around your waste, but the belt is your own muscles.
It's very hard to do. But, thinking about breathing down into my lower abdomin also helps, and I found that when I did this, that I think I was experiencing a true "deep" seat. For the first time. It takes constant physical work, yet one must not let that muscles engagement transfer to tight buttocks, or tight legs , or slumping over one's waste.
It's aalmost like my engaged lower abdominal muscles create a "halo" against which I fill up my core with air by breathing down into my lower abdomin (using her image of filling a lab flask that's wider at the bottom). 
This was reeally revolutionary for me and took a lot of work to KEEP it, but man, I felt so , how shall I say, kind of plastered to my horse, and he seemed to appreciate the stability and solidness of this seat.

I really think that I want to learn to ride more WITH my seat. This will be my next "frontier".


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

So , yesterday was Easter, and my lesson day! (haven't had a lesson in a LONG time!)

I rode Z down and met Julie, my trainer, at the big arena in the state park.

First we checked saddle fit, which was acceptable.
Then we worked on getting a good stop and a good back up, then lots and lots of walking and trotting and working on the leg yeild to help Z not collapse into the cirlce, as he is wont to do.

I insisted onkeeping my stirrups in the shorter position that I trail ride in, to help me protect my back, but when I look at the video, I can see that they do really look short. maybe i'll try the longer length again.

Anyway, see the videos makes me realize how really fat I've gotten. I tend to think of myself as I was 3 or 4 years ago, but the truth is, I am MUCH bigger. I find it really hard to watch myself . But, it's good for me because I can see that I really need to work on getting a more solid right leg, and better connection so that I can have a more quiet hand to mouth connection. I think I was riding with my reins consistently too long yesterday.

But, on the good side, Z has improved a lot since I first rode him 1.5 years ago. He doesn't fall into the circle nearly as much as he used to. He is much more supple, more forward and inbalance than he was.


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## PalominoBuck (Mar 12, 2013)

tinyliny said:


> I offer his as a tidbit that might help someone who gets stuck in a rut of negative behavior with their horse. For example, the horse doesn't want to do something, they want it to do that, they have almost a tradition of fighting each other about it, the human getting annoyed and angry, the horse becoming tense and resistant and learning to really dislike going out with that human.
> 
> If we can stop in the middle of that loop of frustration and change the way we talk to ourselves in our brains (I am assuming that like me, you have a practiacally non-stop narrative in your head), we can possible change our whole approach. And if you've been doing the same old thing and getting the same old results, then only a change will get a change.
> 
> ...





farmpony84 said:


> This should turn into an interesting discussion. I tend to agree with the "convincing' idea although I think there are horses that can be forced into doing things, mine is not one of them. He will do just about anything as long as I approach it right. Sometimes we'll try something new and he'll really argue about it, if I back up... Give him a few moments to process it, and come back... He'll do it, willingly.... If I force him, we hit a brick wall and things end up with us both angry and disgruntled.... I like the slower agreeable approach better....



I could use some advice from you girls. I just started working with a trainer and she is very good. I am just doing some homework by looking at your opinions on training. 
Please read the thread on here " Me & Bo ", to see some short history. 
My question is, if a horse decides that he is done, how do I convince him to do the exercise one more time, so that we can end on a positive note?


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

I am going off to your thread to take a look at that.


It's interesting that just today, when I was coming here to add some inane chatter about how my day went, and my most recent ride and such, that I see you quote me on that topic of convinceing the hrose.

And, today, I found myself several times in the position of trying to MAKE Z canter, when he did not want to, (he just wanted to take the fast run-out trot.) I did nt' try to convince him, I tried to force him, and we ended up disliking each other for a few minutes. That's the first time I've been frustrated with him in a long time. 

So, seeing this again reminds me of my own words, which, I suppose, is the benefit of these journals that almost nobody but the author reads.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Haven't added anything to this thread in some time. So, here's an update.

I rode Z on last Friday and he was kind of a pill. It was my own fault. I didn't really have him mentally "with" me when we went out, so the whole ride he kept trying to go home at every intersection. Wehn I brought him up from the lower 40 i decided to ride him up, so I actually rode him bareback up with just the halter on. he kept trying to go back and join the herd, and when I popped him one with my heels, he give a tiny crow hop. I think he almost had it figured out that if he'd really argued with me, he could have won because being barebak with no bit meant I had not as much confidence or leverage. He was starteing to cue into that, and when he acted as if he was going to turn around (the herd was calling him) and just GO, i got off and worked him right there. But, I never got him to give up his desire to go there, and he rode out with a resentful attitude, which is rare for him.

So, today he also was kind of focussed on going home but more willing to listen and less resentful, if at all.
We only walked, for the most part, becuase I have a sore back rightnow.

anyway. here's the DEEP THOUGHT for today;

I was observing how when I ride my body often gets off center at times, like when turning him or leg yielding or such. I try too hard to affect him with my whole body and am really "noisy" and get all cattywampus. I lean over to one side, usually the right side, way too much and worst of all, my head is often crooked on the top of my neck. I started to realize that if I want him to flex at the jaw when I ask with that rein, but NOT twist his head, then I need to keep my head straight upright, and not twist MY HEAD.

So, I am riding with a new mantra "Straight up , straight up, straight up". meaning keep my head vertical, with the crown as the highest point.
AND, here's anohter thing, 

in order to keep your body balanced over your horse, keep your HEAD OVER YOUR HORSE! Don't let it stray to one side. Keep it over the horse's center of gravity and the rest will be there, too.


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## AbbySmith (Nov 15, 2020)

tinyliny said:


> somebody is actually reading this junk? I am amazed. and flattered. Thanks for your time and your encouragement. A good ride is the best medicine.


I am definitely reading this, and it is most definitely not junk!! 
It was so good, and you made a lot of good points!
I really want to hear more from you! What you wrote so far has been great!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Well, @AbbySmith thank you for the vote of confidence. I had completely abandoned this journal, for , what . . 7 years!!!! That's outrageous. I'm surprised it was thrown into the dust bin.

Anyway, I no longer have access to riding Z. His owner (I was part leasing him), took him to Colorado where he lived/lives on a ranch, and one of his main jobs was to be a lessons hrose for returning Veterans who are dealing with PTSD. He is the perfect horse for that. He is incredibly in tune with his riders' emotional states. I hope he is cavorting in happiness. He is one of the finest horses I have ever ridden.

After leasing him and losing him, I needed a hrose to lease . One of my barn mates offered a half lease on her Andalusian horse, X. (it's the first letter of his name). To look at him, I felt like he was a poor second to Z. He was older, smaller, fatter, less sensitive, slower . . and just 'less'.

It took me a year to realize that he was just perfect for me. He was plenty sensitive, not fast, but had plenty of forward energy, and very good brakes. We had some rough times, such as when I smacked him very hard when leading him and he refused to move , and moved AND cow kicked me as he passed by to tell me that I was out of line. I learned something. But, mostly, he was just a great ride, and so steady that I was able to help many other riders out on the trail who needed a calm compaion to help them stay safe. We went all over the place, and he rarely spooked, and only dumped me once, when he fell to his knees at a canter. We started to really LIKE each other. I mean, that horse liked me. I knew it, for sure. I taught him 'my ' whistle. I built up a lot of easy , comfortable comfidence on him, and best of all, his gaits did not hurt my back!

Six YEARS I rode him, then his owner moved him and decided to not part lease him anymore. I've visited him at his new home and he is happy and healthy and his owner is enjoying more time with her horse. It's all good.

But, the only 'deep' thought I can come up with now, 7 years older, is that time just keeps adding to a person's humility level. I mean, you can't MAKE yourself humble . . but time sure can!

you start to be more and more aware of how less and less well you ride. More and more aware of how vulnerable your body is getting. Less and less confident in any advice you might have given before, because you realize that the listener can only learn when he / she is ready, not when YOU think it's time to offer your own hard earned wisdom ( ha-ha! yeah, right!).

I do think that humility is a very good attribute to have if you want to get the best out of horses. The greatest horseman I ever personally met and saw work with hroses, Harry Whitney, is incredibly humble. I here he spends more time in prayer and following his Christian heart, instead of making the money he could by putting out videos. 

Anyway, I've had a year being horseless. I used to spend so much time feeling sorry for myself not being able to own, and comparing myself with those that could. It was exhausting and made me heartsick. Now, I hardly think that anymore. I am free of that victim mentality. So, it's sure nice to hear from others about their horse adventures. I only wish I was there to watch and laugh, and admire, and pet the horse, and watch how you enjoy your horse time. That used to be so insufficient for me. Now, I truly am fulfilled by that much alone.


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

I missed this journal the first time around. I enjoyed it. The ideas are timeless, although I think some of them rarely discussed. Mia was kind of my heart horse, I suppose, but Bandit is a much better match for me. He's turning into a Steady Eddie, and that isn't bad for a guy in his 60s. Particularly one who rarely wears a helmet. 

We're kind of in transition right now. Looked at 3 homes this afternoon to possibly buy. 2 are very interesting. One has a nice location and 7 acres. The other is smaller and needs more work, but comes with over 50 acres. And the market here is so hot that both might be sold by Monday. If so, there will be others. To sum it up, though, I'm thinking a couple of acres dedicated to an arena - that would be roughly 200 feet by 400 feet - might satisfy my riding itch without trails. Any place with 4+ acres could do that. And yeah, as I get older, I'm finding more reason to be humble - which doesn't always translate into BEING more humble, but...! 

It is nice to be at a stage in life where if Bandit asks if we could take a route 50 yards to the right, I can say, "Sure! Why not?" - and feel fine about myself. Horses are not interesting in my needing to prove my manliness or toughness or how in charge I am. Increasingly, neither am I. And that is one of the gifts horses have given me. I just need to use it more.


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## AbbySmith (Nov 15, 2020)

@tinyliny !!! Why did you ever stop?
This is amazing!


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