# DiDi - Whither goeth SHe?



## xxBarry Godden

Some of you may be wondering where DiDi has gone. Well the answer is that she has gone over to my friend Claire’s new place over in the next county. DiDi now lives amongst the toffs of the English equine world. The sad fact of life which I had to accept was that she is not a horse for hacking around the woods and being left outside the pub whilst the Old Man had a glass of wine as was my cob Joe. DiDi is a working girl and she thrives in the dressage arena. 

I am not sure how an Irish Huzzy up from the countryside is going to mix with upper class English TBs but I do know that DiDi was bred out of a Connemara mare by an Irish Draught stallion to compete. The area in which my wife and I presently live is in many ways a paradise for horses. Woodlands abound and quiet country lanes lead up from the paddock in which DiDi was kept to the surrounding hillsides but the sad fact is that DiDi was not bred for hacking out, just her and me, she is too highly strung. The pheasants, rabbits and deer to be found in those woods gave cause for many a shy. Sadly, where she now resides, there are no such woods but there is a brand new Olympic sized arena.


As a pensioner long past his prime, I recently have had to relearn to sit her properly despite the fact that I have been riding for 35 years. DiDi is nothing like any horse I have ever ridden before. She is alert, sensitive, sharp, intelligent, powerful and very forward going. Her docile manner in hand belies her true nature. One sits on this horse and she senses your heart beat. She moves off at all times with impulsion and there is never any need to urge this girl on. Put her into a trot either slow, working, collected or extended and she’ll trot until you instruct her to walk. She’ll go rounded on the bit or long and low on the buckle. If you know the buttons to push she’s quite a horse and as such she is probably wrong for an old man like me. But young Claire has the measure of her and it is a delight to watch the pair of them work out. 

For me to exercise her in the arena is a hard exercise routine. Realistically I have to develop more muscles around my centre core. All that trotting, and the required action from the under thigh muscles puts strain on my aged frame. Maybe I ought to attend a second Pilates class each week. 

Where are we going with the horse? 
Well soon Claire will be taking her into first dressage competition. Then perhaps later we might see exactly how she can jump. Her broad muscular rump certainly gives her the power to do well. Sooner or later I am going to have to accept that she needs a younger owner than either myself or my wife especially as neither of us are in any way competitive. I am well aware that at my age it would be foolish to buy another horse and for this reason I am loathe to let DiDi go. However if she does show promise then if the right competitive home comes up then, for her sake, I must consider passing her on. 

As it is, I miss her being in her paddock over the hedge at the end of my garden although the benefit has been that DiDi has lost some weight. She is not getting the treats she used to under my regime. The outline of her rump is becoming more muscular and her belly is lifting. She is quiet and relaxed reflecting the tranquillity of her new home amongst the farming community. She doesn’t seem to miss the outside world but it will be interesting to see how she reacts to the hustle and bustle of a horse show. 

It is now Claire’s job to set DiDi’s daily routine and not mine but I still sense that when I turn up on the yard that DiDi recognises me. As I approach the gate so she walks up and lowers her head in greeting. She gives me a little nuzzle but in truth it is to see if there is a tidbit in my pocket. I certainly miss those early morning trail rides I used to enjoy with Joe, my stubborn hairy cob, but that never was DiDi’s scene. However life goes on and I must accept change. 

I suppose this is all a bit like a parent sending the daughter off to college. 
B G


----------



## kitten_Val

I think you did a right thing - you gave her an opportunity to get a job she loves! What can be better than that! 

So do you plan on getting the one, which will wait for you outside the pub while you are done with the beer (or wine)?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*They don't make them like Joe any more*

Well Val - the fact of life is that although there are a few pubs where she is now stabled, indeed one just a mile away, she is not exactly the patient sort. And whereas my Boy Joe would wait for his salt and vinegar crisps - young DiDi would not wait for caviar on toast with bowl of champagne to accompany.

Maybe it was because he was a Boy and she is a Huzzy.

Barry


----------



## kitten_Val

Lol! That's a nice pic! I know 2 pubs in area people do that too (ride, tie horses, and go for lunch). But they are not in mid of city, but kinda off the road. I did it too once, but while back, wouldn't do it with my mares - they are too impatient as well.


----------



## tealamutt

Ah Barry, I had wondered where Didi had gotten off to (had thought to PM you about it but here you've explained it all). I think you have made the right decision in sending her off to something she loves. If I recall Claire is the young lady who can get Didi travelling round and happily forward no? Though the picture in your mind of the horse you thought/had hoped Didi would be was a lovely one, truly there is nothing more lovely than seeing her at something she loves to do and at which she excels. 

So the next question is, will you be getting yourself another lovely big boy to carry to the pub or are you now horseless??


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Tealamutt

I haven't lost the use of DiDi and I've been taking lessons from Claire in how to ride DiDi as a competitive rider might. I suppose I am now a 'riding-owner'. DiDi is exercised hard everyday to build the muscles up and she is beginning to change shape even after only a few weeks. I get to ride her when Claire has worked her. 

The big problem for me currently is relaxing into her - especially as the flat arena has been cut into the side of a slope and there is no fencing around the sides. As a result, on the two down sides the right angled corners of the arena are about 5 foot above ground level. It always looks to be a big drop so there is a tendency for me to cut the corners - and that is a 'No-No'.

Then of course I must maintain my posture - no one handed riding, no sloppiness at any time is permitted. DiDi responds to the slightes shift of weight. Claire is a good teacher but it is a bit like being under the beady eye of the head mistress. There is absolutely no sympathy for the aches and pains which follow the next day. It is all very different from what I am used to.

The power of the horse is significant and flying around the arena at the extended trot is an awesome feeling. I start off with with a slight tension in anticipation of what's coming and then immediately I get into trot, I am carried forward by the impulsion. It is like driving a Porsche. One has to be very delicate with the accelerator and I am supposed to use my under thigh to slow down rather than resistance on the bit. That can be exhausting. I am told that if DiDi doesn't sweat I am not working her hard enough.

Then there will come the occasional mini shy - just to keep me alert. If I've made a slight mistake in my position, DiDi will tell me to wake up. The shy has the effect of making my mind anticipate the next one and I tense up. Then its, push heels down, wiggle toes and sing time in order to relax again.

If only I had discovered this horse and this teacher 25 years ago then maybe I would have a better chance.
But neither horse nor teacher were born then. However I am being told from time to time, that bearing in mind my age, I am doing well. Soon I suspect Claire will be a little reluctant to let me ride DiDi in case I ruin the work she is putting in ready for competition. The couple can't enter the basic level competitions because Claire is too experienced a rider.

This intensive dressage schooling is all a very different hobby. If DiDi is eventually fired up with high energy feed then I'll be in trouble. At the moment all she is getting is late summer green grass, hay and some supplements. I wince at what she'll feel like oated up.

If DiDi does do well in competition, then there will be some decisions to make about her future. But No, I am not going to _buy_ another horse at my age. There are several horses here and there which I can ride as and when I want to ride. I even know of one little Welsh Cob mare who will be happy to take me to the pub and I would not have to buy her to use her. I suppose then I'll miss the explosive power of DiDi.

It is an amazing sport this horse riding. After 36 years of riding I still need lessons. And there is nothing like a soft lick of a horse to entrap you. 

Barry


----------



## tealamutt

Barry, has one ever told you that you are as fickle as a woman? There is no doubt in my mind that you will ride that cob to the pub and then sit with your glass of wine and dream of DiDi powering you around the arena!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

​*DiDi - What does the New Year bring I wonder.​*DiDi has been over at my friend Claire’s new place in Gloucestershire for several months now. DiDi is fast becoming a madame in the English horsey set. The sad fact of life which I have had to accept is that she is not a horse for hacking around the woods and being left outside the pub whilst I have a glass of wine. There is in fact a pub about half a mile away from the yard, but she would nag if I ever tied her up there and went inside. 

DiDi is proving to be a Diva in the dressage arena. I am not sure how an Irish Huzzy up from the countryside is going to mix it with the top hat and white breeches brigade but we haven‘t reached those lofty heights - yet. She‘s only had three tests so far but the next test will be at Novice level.

We have forgone the delight of nearby quiet woodlands and country lanes. DiDi was not bred for hacking out, just her and me, she is too highly strung. The pheasants, rabbits and deer to be found in those woods gave cause for her to shy. Sadly, where she now resides, there are no nearby woods but there is a new Olympic sized sandy arena. 


DiDi is nothing like any horse I have ever ridden before and the gap between us is widening. She is alert, sensitive, sharp, intelligent, powerful, very forward going and it shows. Her docile manner in hand belies her true nature. As you sit down on the saddle, she senses your heart beat. She moves off at all times with impulsion and there is never any need to urge this girl on. Put her into a trot either slow, working, collected or extended and she’ll trot until you ask her to walk. She goes rounded on the bit instantly and what’s more she seems to enjoy it. If you know the buttons to push she’s quite a horse. 

Young Claire for the most part has the measure of her and it is a delight to watch the pair of them work out. But even Claire is wary of her when DiDi is having a strop, which from time to time she does. Most knowledgeable riders watch this dapple grey bombshell flying around the arena but so far no one has suggested that they ride her. I am not surprised.


We still don’t really know how high she can jump but if I am honest I don’t care. As it is, I miss not being able to see her out of my bedroom window. 
With Claire her outline has become more muscular and her belly has lifted. Her diet has not changed and all she is getting is nothing more exciting than grass, hay and sugar beet. Not that she needs more. She is for most of the time quiet and relaxed reflecting the tranquillity of her new home amongst the gentile community but from time to time she seems to morph into a time bomb. 
Her routine is now Claire’s to order. I still get a vague sense that when I turn up on the yard that DiDi recognises me because as I approach the gate of her paddock she walks up and lowers her head in greeting. When she demands her piece of apple or pear than I know she has recognised me. We both know that she is not getting the treats she used to get from me. She doesn’t seem to miss the outside world.

What is scheduled for the horse this year? Well, soon Claire will be taking her into her fourth ever dressage test, this time at Novice level. If she is successful she’ll move up to the Intermediate level. Claire reckons she can do it and do it well. We shall see.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*DiDi and Claire at work*

Here is DiDi strutting her stuff with Claire


----------



## Walkamile

Barry, I have so enjoyed reading this thread. How wonderful that you are allowing DiDi the opportunity to explore her potential. Sadly, it is not in the area that you enjoy. However this is where your love for this horse truly shows itself. 

Your DiDi is a stunner, and I'm sure will love the focus on her during shows.

Please keep us updated on her progress. It is an adventure to be sure!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Walkamile. Thank you.
Wednesday she visits an indoor arena - to find out if full length mirrors upset her, then on Sunday, all being well, it will be the next test.
I get a bit of a buzz from watching her, but I am a little sad that it is not: 'Her and me' but rather: 'Her and Claire'.


----------



## Walkamile

Why do I picture Miss DiDi finding the mirrors to her taste? After all, she will be in them! A looker like her must have a touch of vanity. 

Barry, I understand that wistful feeling of seeing your horse performing beautifully, but alas, someone else in the saddle. But I am confident that you can slightly close your eyes and image that it is you there! You know how she moves and feels. Enjoy. 

Also, though I am over stepping here, you should not give up on finding another Joe. Life is so very short. Maybe an elderly gentlemen' s horse is just waiting for you to find him. A horse that will have new meaning and purpose because of you. One that would relish those rides in the morning with you and be glad to wait patiently for you and his treats. Just a thought.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

WKM, as we get older so we get more cautious. I am well aware that if I 
take on a young fit horse, that it could live longer than me - or certainly longer that I can be sure to be able ride it. Anyway, there are a couple of horses on our yard which I am welcome to ride. My problem of late is that after Joe and DiDi, plus a few other horses which I have memories of from the past, these days I seek a Gentleman's Riding Horse and such are not easy to find. Mostly one has to take someone's left overs and repair the damage.

A day dream would be to introduce DiDi to a 16.2 Lusitano stallion in Portugal and bring home the makings of a dapple grey colt with long flowing locks and a floor length mane. But DiDi's says her career in dressage comes first.

It is no good, I'll just have to develop a taste for equine ballet.


----------



## breezystar

Barry Godden said:


> Here is DiDi strutting her stuff with Claire


What a great thing you've done. 

She is BEAUTIFUL by the way.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Well, today was another step forwards. DiDi had been stroppy this week and the weather had been untypically cold. We got up early and went to another riding centre near Gloucester where a competition was on to pick the regional contestants for the Royal Windsor Horse Show later this year. The final will be held at Windsor - that is 'toffs ville par extraordinaire'. The Duke of Edinburgh, better known as The Queen's Consort (a King if he were British) is patron. DiDi is indeed mixing with class. 

Anyway, she went in as the first contestant. First up front is never a good place to be but, heigh ho, she was judged to be a qualifier for the regional competition and given a certificate to prove it.

DiDi in effect is now in Round 2 of the prestigious RWHS, where if she were to win next month, and that is a really must be a fond hope, then we shall be off sometime in the Summer to compete in the castle grounds of WIndsor Castle. 

Now for a horse who has only competed four times in her life, this is heady stuff.

As I led her back to the horse box. She gave me a little snicker, as much as to say : 'Didn't I do well!' Indeed she did.


----------



## SkyeAngel

That is so great!
I know the feeling when you see your horse doing great with someone else, but what an opportunity! I've been to the RWHS a couple of times, and my most prominent impression was the amazing difference in class between those gorgeous, beautifully trained horses and my muddy happy hackers! haha. DiDi looks like she would fit right in though, she's beautiful!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Angel,
It is indeed pleasing to see her do well - and I must say I do get some pleasure out of it. She was a good girl yesterday and in my care she remained poised and calm throughout the day. In this RWHS class there were several very big fancy looking and very expensive warmbloods. My Girl at 15h2 looked small in the warm-up arena. But she held her own. 

Nevetheless it would be nice if I could also say that she was a 'go anywhere' riding horse. If she can be so obedient and responsive in the arena, why isn't she of that frame of mind in the big wide world?
She's been called several times 'a Diva' - I think I should change her name to 'Prima Donna'.


----------



## thesilverspear

I take you have tried to desensitize her to the scariness of trails. Have you tried sending her out, a lot, with a brave rider who wouldn't be too bothered if she had a total meltdown on the trail and would project an attitude of "whatever" to her? 

My current horse (Gypsum) and the one I owned before her (Angie) could both be difficult on the trail when I first got them. Angie would plant her feet and simply not move no matter what you did, or try to wheel around. Gypsum would audition for the Spanish Riding School. When I sold Angie after four and a half years of consistent work, on trail among other things, she had become an awesome little trail horse who would go out alone, lead a group, chase cows, anything. The woman who bought her had been in the market for something fairly unproblematic and straightforward to take out on easygoing trail rides, and my neurotic little quarter horse had become that kind of horse. Amazing. Gypsum has also become an awesome trail horse, who will go out alone, with others, lead a group, go at any gait, etc., (not so great with the cows, though we're improving). It took me about three years to get her to the point of being unlikely to have a trail meltdown. When I first got her, she was (and still is) awesome as a dressage horse and it would have been easy to say, "She doesn't like trails." The first time she had an epic freak-out on one was shortly after I bought her; we rode over a ridge and when we got to the crest of the ridge, we had an amazing view of the mountains and the city of Boulder below them. The sight of all this space totally wigged her out and we started crow-hopping, rearing, cantering in place, all on this little narrow ridge which was a little bit not fun. About five or six years later, we were leading trail rides of small children on school horses over these same trails. 

The point is, even a horse who seems like it's going to be an utter lunatic on the trail can improve with time and mileage. I've known only a handful -- I could count them on one hand -- of horses who were never able to handle it. So ask Claire to take DiDi out, maybe? Even on wee short ones until she gets the confidence to go out for a bit longer. At the very least, it's great cross-training for a dressage horse, as they get to stretch their muscles and use them in a different way than happens with collection in an arena. In my experience, that sort of thing keeps them sounder for longer.


----------



## SkyeAngel

Barry Godden said:


> She's been called several times 'a Diva' - I think I should change her name to 'Prima Donna'.



She sounds like a truely 'mareish' mare! I have one of those. Normally so quiet, but around what we shall simply call 'certain times' - she can get a bit 'MeMeMe!' and insist that only she is important. I have managed to get her to a pub at least! :lol: I love her to bits but I can sympathise with you, that behaiour isn't ideal for what one might call a gentleman's riding horse. However DiDi seems to have quite a talent there! It is so nice that you are proud of her. My mare is rather like myself, a jack of all trades, master of none. 

I think she'd look like a nice 'Prima Donna'. Maybe you could should nickname her Prima DiDi!

Perhaps if I make it to Windsor again this year I shall have a Diva to whatch out for!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Ladies, I am not sure that whatever training I were to try on her that I would be successful in making her into a safe riding horse. DiDi is as sharp as can be. Her undoubted forte is in that quiet, flat level, sandy arena, prancing about on an equine stage, insulated from the ways of the real world.

A safe Gentleman's Riding Horse would be something very different. Such a steed is curious about the world and so long as nothing has happened in the past to dissillusion its trust in man and his creations, the horse has no need to fear. The rider's role becomes merely to direct the horse to where there is no danger and to relax in the saddle and to keep only the lightest contact with the horse's mouth. 

In the old days when I used to ask my cob Joe to stand in a layby, whilst a car driven by some local 80 year old pensioner lady, drove past on a country lane, then he would stand as bidden. If the driver happened to be the mischievious local horse dealer, who would delight in seeing just how close he could get to the Joe's legs then it made no difference, Joe would still stand his ground. Then that same devil of a dealer would stop alongside me sitting in the saddle - just to see what would happen. Nothing ever did, except for the dealer to ask how much I wanted in exchange for stoical Joe. 

Whenever I have suggested to Mistress Claire that we set up an obstacle course for DiDi - with dustbins, plastic bags, waving flags, poles laid on the ground, perhaps even a car with a running engine - she has asked me not to, in the fear that I will make DiDi anxious about entering any arena.

My only hope for DiDi has been that her self confidence would grow with age and experience. But so far in three years it hasn't happened. The last time late last year she went out for a hack in the lanes with a calm four year old, TB/Warmblood cross novice mare leading the way, just in case the bogey man was about. DiDi followed the leader and refused to take the lead. Anyway the young mare was the faster of the two at both walk and trot.

So I am coming to terms with the situation. The term 'Happy Hacker' is a put down. The couple that will go where no man and his horse has gone before is now an oddity in modern parlance. The sporting horse reigns supreme. 

I'll be looking in second hand shops for one of those old fashioned bowler hats next - especially if My Girl wins an invitation to Queen Lizzy's palace grounds in Windsor Great Park.


----------



## thesilverspear

I agree that a hot horse like that will probably never be a solid, steady trail horse and will require a rider who can deal with histrionics. So she may not, as you say, be that happy hacker who suits you. But it doesn't mean being exposed to it won't do her good. After all, the way to give her confidence in herself and her rider is expose her to scary things so she learns they are not scary. It just might take the most patient rider in the world with a velcro butt, who isn't phased by equine meltdowns, and who is willing to take as much time as it takes to do it.

If she will go on the trail and be kind of fine going behind another horse, then do that. It took one of my horses about three years of lots and lots of trail riding following other horses before she would take the lead willingly.

I think it's a good idea to expose her to an obstacle course, to a running car, in the arena or out of it. I doubt it will make her anxious about the arena, and even if she is going to be a dressage horse, she needs to be able to deal with stuff. Horse shows are not safe, controlled environments at all! There are flower boxes, signs, banners, flapping tarps, cars, people zipping about on quad bikes and golf carts, other horses going nuts, and more. 

That's just my philosophy. Expose a horse to anything and everything. I've never met anything so hot that it didn't chill out even a wee bit after lots of desensitization work, unless it had some other underlying health issue. And it might take a lot of work. As an ID-Connemara X, however, she should have some sense buried in there.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver,
I made a decision after DiDi's first two wins, to leave her with Claire in order to see what she might acheive. She had lost her second string horse around that time. She rides her every day working on the paces etc for the next dressage test and DiDi is 'on the bit' from the very beginning of the lesson.
If I were to ride DiDi around the lanes then I would be riding her my way and in 
Claire's eyes that would be too lax. A young woman and an old man are not the best couple to share a sensitive horse. But the bigger problem is that the immediate area around the stable yard is not condusive to hacking - whereas where she was kept previously is excellent hacking country. 
The decision has been made for the time being - we shall see what happens.


----------



## thesilverspear

I'm just offering humble opinion.  I wouldn't even ride an FEI dressage horse (if I rode FEI and if I owned such a horse) on the bit *all the time.* I don't think it's healthy for their mind or body. But that's just my philosophy.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver - I started to ride in 1975 and until 3 years ago the position of my horse's nose was for my horse to decide and not me. I always rode with reins short enough for me to keep a steady but light contact with the horse's 
mouth and I followed through with my hands. When I rode across country I leant forwards and kept my weight over the horse's centre of gravity and my feet were firmly placed in the stirrup irons and my knees were rammed against the knee rolls. There are books ridden by Vladimir Littauer about 'Forward Riding' - as developed by a famous Italian called Caprilli.

But in the 10 years I had off from keeping my own horse in the '90s - a revolution took place in the horse world. Suddenly everyone deems it correct to ride 'Classically' with rounded necks and arched backs. So I bought a pretty horse which was schooled Classically - but I didn't know it at the time. And of course, I could not ride it 'properly'. If DiDi is ridden for more than a few paces on a loose rein she starts to fidget - her choice not mine.

What I should have bought was a horse of a breed which doesn't have a long neck. It I had my chance again I'd look for a Dales - then noone would have thought to train it for modern dressage. But I am too long in the tooth to take another horse on now - it's best I stand by and watch.

Watching DiDi, she goes on the bit of her own accord now. The Passoa has done its work
Mind you I got on OK doing it the old way


----------



## thesilverspear

She looks like good fun to gallop on a beach. 

I'm just saying that I see benefits to the horse's mind and body of being allowed off the bit. The dressage horse certainly benefits from stretching out and galloping along a beach! No reasonably successful human athlete does 100% of his or her training at their competitive sport of choice. They cross-train at other athletic activities, which increases fitness and strength and decreases injury. We should do the same for our equine athletes. 

I only learned to ride in the 90s and had about twelve years of pretty continuous dressage training.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Today was a big day for Girlie, she was doing her first test at Novice Level - that's not bad for a horse who has only just taken this dressage game up. It turned out to be a foul day weatherwise. The wind was gusting hard, it was freezing cold and there was rain in the air. It was one of those days you are better off indoors. We changed DiDi's routine, she was exercised early and then put back out until lunchtime. We thought that would be best. 
When I went to get her to get her ready, she was fine and in a relaxed mood but she didn't like the cold wind especially on her closely clipped butt. She was to perform two tests, one prelim to warm her up then the biggie. We had allowed 45 minutes for warm up. DiDi then started to make it plain that she did not want to play today. She wasn't being bad - just uncooperative.

By the time she had got into the arena she was pretty well pi**ed off. There had been about a dozen horses going round and she was the last but one into the arena. Claire was beginning to have trouble with her. You cannot chastise DiDi - if you do you risk her switching off altogether. There was a struggle or two but finally it was her turn to perform and she did but she made a few mistakes. Prelim 7 did not go well - only 66.5%. The winner got 67.5%. The judges comments were "Stunning horse with good paces. Just coming against hand at times. Has lots of potential"
Half an hour later it was time for the Novice test. DiDi was still stroppy but I thought she behaved better in the test. This time her mark was 63.33% but let us remember this was her first test at Novice level. The judge's remarks were: "Lovely horse with three good paces, today was a little tense". (you could say that again). 

We loaded her up and went home. Butter would not have melted in her mouth. Claire said that DiDi had known the test and could have easily done much better. I told her that DiDi is a complex horse whom you asked and when she felt like it, she would perform as well as she had been taught. But today she did not want to do it. There is no point in trying to force her, but it is necessary to try to find out just why some days she doesn't want to play.

I worry about DiDi. I understand her but I still don't yet know what dictates her moods. In a way she is too intelligent and too independent for her own good. Without me to watch over her I wonder how she would get on.


----------



## Northern

Fun to see pics of you, Barry, galloping Didi, at that!

A polite question : Please explain the reason that Didi has her mouth held shut with a flash noseband; is this temporary or is it intended to be a permanent part of her bridle?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Northern, she has been ridden permanently in a flash band since we have owned her. Me, well, I once took it off but was then advised by the ladies that look over my shoulder to put it back. The bit is the mildest - a three link French type snaffle. 
Claire fits a running martingale when she is ridden out from the yard rather than up the brakes through the bit. DiDi is a very powerful horse, remarkably so at times, with a neurotic streak especially when the wind is blowing. If she has a strop when out then she can be a difficult horse to stop, but I don't want to up the bit.

B G

PS This morning, whilst looking back over yesterday, I think that it is good for her that the pressure to win is off her. Maybe she has found her niche now at Novice level.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

I am often accused of assigning emotions felt by humans to horses. DiDi I credit with being very susceptible to a wide range of issues and when she feels ’slighted’ I know it will affect her performance. However it is her very sensitivity which makes her easy to teach a new response. Yesterday, other than a cold blustery wind, I could not sense what was bugging her - but something was and it showed in her performance. The mare either gives willingly or the rider goes without.

What troubled me more yesterday though was Sonnie - the little cob gelding owned by a stressed out business woman who is trying to juggle the demands of a big job, a husband and the needs of two children. She has owned Sonnie now for over a year and the little chap has been badly neglected. He is at the bottom of her priority list and it shows. 

Every time I turn the corner into the parking area of the yard, there he will be a few hundred yards away looking up towards me. I feel his eyes calling out - “are you going to play with me today?”. I always wave back to him to say : ‘yes, if I have time‘. I ought to go down straight away and say hello, but then DiDi would see me and that might provoke problems later on with her. The other horses, including DiDi will be head down grazing their paddocks. Sonnie will always be up by the gate ready to go. 

For a number of reasons I don’t ride him any more, but I do play with him in hand. He has from nature a thick coat and since he doesn’t compete he is not clipped out during the winter. Thick Dandruff forms in his hair and I am sure it irritates him so on most visits I try to make sure I have time at least to give him a good grooming. He doesn’t care what I do with him. All he wants is some _T_ender _L_oving _C_are. He watches the other horses receiving some attention and he is well aware that he might not get any. With other handlers he can be a difficult horse to lead. He fidgets when you try to fit a bridle. His trot is highly uncomfortable and on occasions he will try to dump his rider. However each of his bad behaviours are signs of neglect and probably could be dealt with.

A lot of people might think he is not a horse to chose to own, but in one respect he is a perfect companion in that he desperately needs to be needed and he will respond to affection. He knows I quite like him despite his little problems. However on our yard, he is safe and he lacks for nothing bar _TLC._ 

I just wish some sensitive human would come along and give this little chap a role in life. He desperately seeks one.


----------



## Northern

Barry, if I didn't live across the big pond, I'd be there for Sonnie! Sending him loving vibes! Shame on his owner!

Thanks for explanation on Didi's flash. Agreed that running m & flash are less harsh than a stronger bit. 

However, they're not a permanent answer for her or any horse (regardless of your female back-seat drivers at the yard ). Holding the mouth closed bars feedback from horse, etc. (I'm sure that you know this). 

Barry, I love your "feel" of & for horses! Don't let "them" derail you!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Northern, DiDi is an ultra sensitive horse. She takes the slightest pressure to her mouth thru the reins or her flanks from the calves or in change of body posture on the saddle as an instruction to respond to.

So if the rider's hand has been jerked, the legs have moved inadvertently or the body has tilted slightly in the saddle then DiDi asks herself and the rider - "what was that you asked me to do?" And of course sometimes the 'aid' was merely a loss of position provoked by the forces of motion or gravity. If she gets too many 'false' aids, irritability sets in. 

In the arena DiDi rides almost constantly 'on the bit' at all paces.
She will be mouthing the bit and foam eventually will be dripping from her jaw. So I've been told by Claire, that by fitting the flash then the bit is kept firmly in position to avoid false instructions. It also helps should she decide to play up. 

From time to time, for reasons which are hard to fathom, she'll explode. On some mornings when I go to collect her, I can recognise that she is not in the mood. Something has upset her and the reason is not always just because of her hormones. For the rider there is no cure - you daren't use a crop or a fierce application of the hands - DiDi will never forget. The only counter for the rider is to try to recognise the triggers for an 'off' day and avoid them. DiDi is not trying to hurt the rider. She is just neurotic and highly strung.

Her diet is hay and grass and the lowest 'heating' value of feeds + a calmer of magnesium salt. Her mood is not food - unless it is a plant in the grass.

We are told that this is to be expected from sensitive, sparky, mares involved in dressage. Stallions can be easier and more consistent in their behaviour. Most geldings don't have the 'spark' 

It is becoming apparent that when DiDi has a good day, a good rider can win, but when DiDi is not in the mood - a good rider might just as well get ready for humiliation. For many riders that is not acceptable and largely for this reason, DiDi is not for every rider, however competent they are. 
She is like that other export from Ireland, mutton stew, an acquired taste.

After Sunday, we have already had two unbidden phone calls from the local competition saying how good she looked that day - it was a pity she disobeyed twice, if she hadn't she might have won - again.


----------



## Walkamile

Barry, so enjoyed reading your latest post on "Lady" Didi's progress into the world of dressage. I think of her as royalty, so will address her as such. 

Such a short time in this arena and she is already getting noticed. She , I'm sure, is not surprised, but feels it's about time, and only to be expected.

I enjoy reading your understanding of Lady Didi's temperament. It is so refreshing to hear instead of the typical "moody mare" characterization. What a victory it will be for both rider and horse when they are in sync and the inevitable win comes. 

Many years ago I had the privilege of working with a little morgan filly who was so willing to please me. She even went through a fence to take her place beside me instead of the two year old I was leading. I always found her to be quick to learn, so it kept me on my toes to be correct at all times. Years later, after our short time together ended (life took me down another path), I was visiting a friend at the facility where she boarded her horses and as I walked by a stall a little mare came right to the door and whinnied to me. Something about her looked vaguely familiar, but I brushed it off. I later was told that that mare was "not honest". Asking what was meant by that, was told that she didn't always give you her all, or attention, and would often get temperamental and other times was spot on. When I finally found out that it was the same little mare I had worked with years ago, I was stunned to hear such descriptions of her character and attitude. I feel, that she , like your Didi, was very sensitive and very quick to learn and often got irritated with the handler if cues were not correct and pure. After a time, she would simply "write off" the handler as incompetent. 

So , I am glad to hear you interpret in a sensitive and thoughtful way what so many others would simply put down as "moody mare" or "dishonest". I much prefer your take on it and it makes perfect sense to me.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

WKM, I found myself writing last week:

'You can teach a horse to remember but you can't erase a memory'.

B G
.

PS I hope you had an apple in your pocket for that little Welshie mare.


----------



## gottatrot

I have often wondered if some race horses have an attitude like DiDi. The fans study a horse's lineage and training plan and jockey while failing to realize before they bet their money that the horse might not "feel like it" today. I am sure horses have different priorities and just because we think Derby day is a good day to run fast doesn't mean they see it the same way.


----------



## Northern

Barry Godden said:


> So if the rider's hand has been jerked, the legs have moved inadvertently or the body has tilted slightly in the saddle then DiDi asks herself and the rider - "what was that you asked me to do?" Bless her heart! And of course sometimes the 'aid' was merely a loss of position provoked by the forces of motion or gravity. If she gets too many 'false' aids, irritability sets in. Well, yah, Barry, you can't be jerking & making meaningless, confusing "noise" on her. Same is true of *innumerable* horses.
> 
> From time to time, for reasons which are hard to fathom, she'll explode. Maybe she's sick to death of having her mouth strapped shut. A horse who periodically explodes is being bothered up to that point, & its "horsenality" dictates that it "holds it in" (the annoyed emotion) till it can't take it anymore, then explodes. She is just neurotic and highly strung. I think you've got a right-brain introvert. She's reacting to something tangible. It will become baggage if not discovered & fixed. when DiDi is not in the mood - a good rider might just as well get ready for humiliation. it was a pity she disobeyed twice, if she hadn't she might have won - again. If someone "gets with her", meaning gets the "feel" going with her, these episodes'd be history. I know of off-track thoroughbreds like this, other talented "incorrigibles" like this who came out of it with true horsemanship through feel. [/QUOTE]
> 
> The racetrack horses who spend their entire lives having bad days & refusing to perform have never been dealt with by "savvy" horsemen who was able to discover & fix what the problem was. The mouths being strapped shut was never the fix.


----------



## bsms

gottatrot said:


> I have often wondered if some race horses have an attitude like DiDi. The fans study a horse's lineage and training plan and jockey while failing to realize before they bet their money that the horse might not "feel like it" today. I am sure horses have different priorities and just because we think Derby day is a good day to run fast doesn't mean they see it the same way.


**** Francis is famous now as a mystery writer, but his autobiography (Amazon.com: The Sport of Queens: The Autobiography of **** Francis (9780330339025): **** Francis: Books) covers his days as a steeplechase jockey. He mentions several horses he rode that would race their hearts our one day, and just not care the next. He said the fans would blame the jockey, but the reality is that no jockey can do anything to make a horse run competitively. They can guide it, or encourage it, but the desire to win has to come from within the horse, and some horses aren't consistent in their desire.

My own mare will never win anything. Certainly not with me on her back! But there are days, many of them, where she'll try very hard to make our ride a success. And there are days like yesterday, where she technically did everything I asked of her, but with resentment and contempt coming from every pore. It really seems like sarcasm to me - "Why yes, I'm doing EXACTLY what you ask...isn't this FUN! What? YOU aren't having fun? Well I am...can't you feel how much fun I'm having, you idiot!"

It isn't feed, or hormones, it is attitude. And sometimes I can try again a couple of hours later, and she'll be all sunshine. Or not. She is usually obedient, but she is ALWAYS an independent mind.

I think that is why I'm enjoying the posts on Didi. My horse doesn't have great breeding, fine training or a competent rider, but she is a diva thru and thru. And it is nice to know that I'm not alone, and that even well bred and well trained horses can sometimes be...well, divas.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Northern, your response gave rise to a discussion between me and Claire. It certainly caused me to sit and think about what I can do - if anything.

Racehorses are doing something which is natural for them. The herd races as an adrenaline soaked herd. In a race it is not necessarily the fastest runner that wins, it is the horse which on the day is first past the winning post.

When DiDi is put into a dressage arena, she is asked her to perform a set routine of movements, at a proscribed pace in an enthusiastic manner. The horse and rider are then judged by a human almost as a pair of dancers. A dressage test is essentially an exhibition of rider control. There is very little about dressage that is natural to a horse. 

That DiDi performs at all is a clear statement of her wish to please her rider. However I wish I knew what it is DiDi gains from performing. My suspicion is that she is ‘strutting her stuff ‘in front of an audience of both humans and horses. Actually there was a stallion competing in last weeks test. 

2/ "From time to time, for reasons which are hard to fathom, she'll explode. Maybe she's sick to death of having her mouth strapped shut." 

Tightening the strap does not seem to worry her and neither does tightening the girth. I have discussed with Claire about the flash. 
She gives three reasons which are essentially preventative measures for the test namely: 
crossing the jaw, 
opening the mouth wide, 
and preventing the tongue from going over the bit. 
The majority of British dressage riders do fit a flash band as standard.


3/ As a rider, I am sure Claire ‘gets with’ DiDi. But DiDi is aware that she is not Claire’s favourite horse. Claire’s own horse, Oliver a gelding, comes first and he is now at UK national level in dressage. 
I am quite sure DiDi is aware that Oliver gets slightly favoured treatment.
and he is DiDi's competitor for attention from Claire. Therein might lay the seeds of jealousy in DiDi. 

Personally I am always careful not to be seen by DiDi to go near Oliver,in case of provoking jealousy.


Of course, in this post I am speculating. But if I don't develop a theory then I can't check it out. 

Why doesn't some bright spark in Microsoft come up with a gizmo which allows a horse to talk.

B G


----------



## Northern

I know how prevalent strapping the mouth shut is in today's FEI dressage, but if you'll do a bit of online research, you'll find many true horsemen stating opposition to use of the flash along with their reasons for so being.

Crossing the jaw, opening the mouth wide, & getting the tongue over the bit are all variations on one thing: lack of acceptance of the bit. Didi needs to be taught to accept a simple snaffle.


----------



## Northern

Barry Godden said:


> Why doesn't some bright spark in Microsoft come up with a gizmo which allows a horse to talk.
> 
> B G


Because, kind sir, most humans don't want to get the horse's message!


----------



## gottatrot

BSMS, that's so interesting about the race horses. I will have to get that book.



Northern said:


> Barry Godden said:
> 
> 
> 
> So if the rider's hand has been jerked, the legs have moved inadvertently or the body has tilted slightly in the saddle then DiDi asks herself and the rider - "what was that you asked me to do?" Bless her heart! And of course sometimes the 'aid' was merely a loss of position provoked by the forces of motion or gravity. If she gets too many 'false' aids, irritability sets in. Well, yah, Barry, you can't be jerking & making meaningless, confusing "noise" on her. Same is true of *innumerable* horses.
> 
> 
> 
> Northern, I have read many of Barry's posts about DiDi and I think he truly understands his horse. Not many horses are lucky enough to have owners like him. The way you talk about horses, it almost sounds as if you think of them more as machines than as individual personalities. Do you feel like going to work every day? Do you ever feel "off" or tired or not yourself after a bad night's sleep? Why would a race horse or any trained horse for that matter feel like doing their job perfectly every day? Some horses, like some people, are more emotional and sensitive. They get keyed up or nervous in some situations, just like some people are good with traveling or being in crowds and some people aren't.
> Perhaps you have never been around a truly sensitive horse. When a horse is very sensitive, they notice every accidental cue, even the light stepping into the outside stirrup or a brush with the calf. I have a horse who will respond to every single movement you make, and no rider is good enough to control every tiny movement of their body. If you glance to the right, my horse is thinking "maybe she wants me to turn right soon."
> Training a horse is not like programming a computer. Horses have good days and bad days.
Click to expand...


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Gottatrot, says: "Horse have good days and bad days - just like people"

It is an obvious statement to make and perhaps one I should accept.

But something inside me says that if I stop looking then I am giving up. And DiDi is worth the effort of trying to find a solution.

B G


----------



## Skipsfirstspike

Lol, Barry, I think I wish I was your wife. That is if you put in as much time and effort into trying to understand and please her as you do your horse!
Your posts are a pleasure to read.
Cheers!


----------



## thesilverspear

I agree with Northern about the use of flash nosebands, which just conceal the issue of the horse not accepting the bit. It goes with the whole relaxation thing I was talking about earlier. Obviously not always, but often, a horse who is trying to evade the action of the bit, which is what they are doing when they gape their mouth, put their tongue over the bit, etc., is certainly not one who wants to relax into the contact. One of the fundamental principles of dressage (and mind you, not one enough people follow) is relaxation and acceptance of contact. One of my rants about dressage shows, at least in the States, is the way many judges are more inclined to reward a tense horse with a lot of natural self-carriage, fancy paces, and who can kind of fake a frame over a significantly less fancy, but relaxed, happy, and correct horse, especially at the lower levels. Anyway, one of the movements in American dressage tests (I've never looked at one in the UK, but it would shock me of this weren't on it) is the "stretchy-chewy" circle and the free walk, where you show the judge that your horse is in fact relaxed by lengthening the rein and he should stretch down and relax his stride. You can get this by putting on a flash, which limits the ways in which the horse can evade the bit, but in my experience horses have gone a lot better when I've dropped the flash and worked on true acceptance of contact. 

I guess if I had a horse who got really explosive and who needed to be ridden dressage in a flash or it would spend the whole time going around with its mouth open avoiding the bit, I'd also be trying to work out what was going on with the horse. There are things you can't know, or do anything about even if you did know, like whether the horse is jealous if its regular rider's other horse, so the best I could do is tackle the things I do know and can do something about, like work on acceptance of contact and general relaxation.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Nose Bands*

Talking about nose bands, I attach a photo of me and my friend Joe - he who haunts me wherever I go. Here we are tripping the light fantastic and as you see his white blaze is plain to see. (Sorry about the hat ladies, but this is still one of my favourite photos of him). At home indoors somewhere I have a Texan one-eared bridle with laces, which I used on a young Welsh Cob but it was a bit tight to fit Joe. That bridle didn't even have a brow band.

Joe and I did not do dressage. We knew our place. No top hats, no white breeches and Joe was always allowed full use of his neck and nose. My problems started with him after we decided to go classical, just because I thought he could do it if he tried. Along came a knowledgeable lady to teach him how, and the first things she fitted were a nose band, and a running martingale. It didn't work for Joe (or me) but that is another story.

However DiDi arrived on our scene with a flash band, and my long suffering wife who looks over my left shoulder said that she would prefer that we kept it fitted on her. Young Claire now insists that she keeps it on 'as a precaution'. And if they are riding DiDi, how can I say 'No' - unless of course I can prove it is the flash band which is causing resistance. Remember, ladies don't always believe we men know anything about horses. 

After DiDi's fifth ever outing, it is being suggested that she be entered next at affiliated elementary level and that is thanks largely to the rider - Claire. To take the flash away, I'd have to argue against success and I am not expert enough in this matter of dressage. 

What I always seek from a horse is relaxed confidence, good manners and willingness. I can sense when DiDI is in super hype mode, unfortunately I can't often work out why.

But you Ladies have given me something to think about and watch out for.


----------



## thesilverspear

I hope you don't mind me asking, as a precaution to what? A flash does not stop a horse from bucking, bolting, spooking, etc. I've been on plenty of horses wearing a flash jacked up tight and been bucked off and taken off with. I used to ride my mare in a flash, for no particular reason other than "that's just what you did," and she could be pretty bloody hot when she was young. When she wanted to be a lunatic, a flash didn't stop her.


----------



## gottatrot

I have never formed an opinion yet about whether flash nosebands are unkind, it just seemed that a horse like DiDi would make it obvious if she did not like something.
In general, I have found that hotter sensitive types have issues with feeling trapped, and will be more prone to explode if they can't find release from pressure. Which is why I have no more than a passing experience with a flash noseband, having never tried it on my own horses.
When horses I have trained seemed to want to avoid the bit I looked first at my own hands, then tried another bit until I found one they liked.


----------



## thesilverspear

Thinking back on it now (this was quite a few years ago), I may have had the concern that I'd have less control over the horse if I removed the flash, which may have been one of the reasons I rode with it for a while. I somehow kept up this delusion that the flash was doing something useful in spite of the fact that the horse used to take off bucking not infrequently and was RIDICULOUSLY heavy in the bridle. I think you can safely say that when you feel the entire weight of the front end of the horse hanging on the reins, the horse is probably not softly giving to the hand (she's stopped doing all of that. win). 

All the flash did, insofar as I could tell, was stop the horse from opening her mouth so she didn't *look* as resistant to contact to anyone watching as much as she actually was.


Edit: Oh, look. She has a flash on in the avatar pic. Looks pretty out of control and wild. I have no idea why that's there, although I'm sure when that pic was taken, it was when I used to put on a flash so loose I could stick two fingers underneath it.


----------



## Northern

*Gottatrot,* just because you wish that you were Barry's wife, don't lay false accusations on me (I act like a horse is a machine, etc.) **friendly chiding**

*thesilverspear, *your posts here have been a delight, for their informativeness on the valulessness/deleteriousness of the practice of strapping the mouth shut.


----------



## thesilverspear

Cheers, Northern. I really should not be lingering on the forum procrastinating....

Another issue with the flash: if you look at that flash in my avatar, for example, you'll see that it goes across the horse's nasal passages, which is quite a sensitive part of their face. That's more or less just where the flash goes if you use one. And if you're using it "correctly" (as I said, I didn't after the first year or two I owned the horse; I kept it so two or three fingers would fit under it until I found a better use for it as a strap with which you could attach things to the saddle) you have it jacked up bloody tight. So you're not only forcing their mouth shut, you're putting pressure on soft, sensitive tissue on their faces. I've been told that if you really feel that you need to force your horse's mouth closed, a grackle noseband is better since it attaches higher up and the pressure is mostly on the flat leather thingy where the figure eight crosses over. Not sure, though. I've never used one as I found it far more conducive to everything, really, to get the horse to correctly come to the hand.


----------



## Northern

Thanks again, *thesilverspear*, for that important additional point.


----------



## Northern

*More info:*



gottatrot said:


> In general, I have found that hotter sensitive types have issues with feeling trapped, and will be more *prone to explode* *if they can't find release from pressure*. When horses I have trained seemed to want to avoid the bit I looked first at my own hands, then tried another bit *until I found one they liked*.


Yes & yes. It must be taken into consideration, aside from the nose binding, that Didi doesn't like the particular bit style that's being used on her. Does her bit have either metal or rubber guards to prevent pinching the corners of her mouth? is one question. Forgive me if you already mentioned this.

Also, I just read that binding the mouth shut *interferes with the horse's* *balance!* He opens his jaw to help himself balance! When that help is taken away from him, running to try to keep his balance ensues (Barry, "Restrains" article of LS). Could this be what's happening with Didi?


----------



## thesilverspear

The point, I suppose, is not necessarily that the flash noseband is THE cause of the horse being stressed out, resistant, and exploding. Usually these sorts of things have multiple causes, exacerbated by the fact that some horses are just hot and will be more reactive to anything that's bothering them. But it's probably causing her at least some amount of discomfort and certainly isn't helping her attitude, nor, apparently, is it stopping her from having looney days.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Ladies, I am definitely going to re-open this subject with DiDi & Claire. But as I have explained it is a very sensitive issue - for both horse and young rider.

It is a fact that DiDi salivates a lot - even before the flash is fitted and I am wondering if that is an issue in the matter.


----------



## bsms

It sounds to me like Didi is having impressive success, overall. Might a lot of what she needs just be more experience?

If she has days where she does great, then how can it be an equipment problem? And if that is a stupid question, I apologize in advance.


----------



## Northern

bsms, it could be an equipment problem because some horses will tolerate discomfort/pain up to a point, with no overt sign of anything amiss, then explode (which is what Didi's been doing). 

If she doesn't explode at pasture, then it's something to do with equipment, handler, or both.


----------



## gottatrot

Northern, I didn't make the wife comment, it was Skipsfirstspike. I am, however, a fan of DiDi.
I am not sure exactly how a horse opening their mouth can affect their balance. It doesn't seem to make sense. Most horses I see galloping around have their mouths closed, even without any kind of noseband on. So I don't really think it is necessary for them to open their mouth. However, I can see how they might feel trapped if they can't open it.
I don't think hot horses always have solvable reasons that make them act up. Horses get better and better with lots of training and experiences. However, some horses will always have the tendency to over react when the mood strikes.
One of my horses who has had lots of experience showing was at a show one spring. There were stallions about. This horse had never reared before in her life, but suddenly for no apparent reason she reared straight up in the air. We never could figure out what set her off. She calmed down, we went home, and I've never seen her rear again. Some shows we get blue ribbons and championships. Other shows we don't place at all.  Other horses I've had are consistent. She is special.


----------



## Northern

gottatrot: oops! sorry! You _don't _want to be BG's wife, you're in the minority of women on this forum!

Hmm, I'll have to go back & read the article again! I've never known the author to make false claims, so I accepted this, though I've also never heard of it before. 

At any rate, even if it's untrue, the rest of the drawbacks to strapping the mouth shut remain.


----------



## HowClever

I'd like to know where this discussion on choice of noseband has come from. A flash noseband when adjusted correctly is no worse than a curb bit in soft hands. Either way it seems irrelevant to the thread to me.

Barry, your posts are a delight to read. I love hearing about DiDi's latest adventures, especially the perspective that you so eloquently put on them.


----------



## Beling

Barry Godden said:


> ... She gives three reasons which are essentially preventative measures for the test namely:
> crossing the jaw,
> opening the mouth wide,
> and preventing the tongue from going over the bit.
> The majority of British dressage riders do fit a flash band as standard.
> B G


Those are good reason for using a flash, and an indication that the horse has not yet reached the first requirement of starting dressage which is acceptance of the bit. Will DiDi stretch into the bit? I think the question is one of trust, not so much ultra-sensitivity, which in this case sounds partly like anxiety. When I first started learning dressage my teacher had me use a flash too. I figured, a few dollars for a wealth of improvement... after 8 years, my instructor left, and I took off the flash-- my horse had learned NOTHING from it, she still opened her mouth, and I realized she'd never actually accepted the bit, just tolerated it. She could do collected work quite well; but because she would rarely stretch into my hand, extensions of any kind were nearly impossible. I could get speed, but not the gymnastic stretching.:-(


----------



## Northern

Thanks, beling, for that huge contribution to this discussion.


----------



## Northern

*gottatrot* (& whoever's interested): I reread the part about the jaw affecting the horse's balance. The author says that the noseband serves primarily to limit the freedom of movement of the horse's _head_ during motion, thus [negatively] influencing his balance. Then, "The free lower jaw gives the horse some _play (allowance_) between the rider's hands and the horse's head and motion.", and, "It is pretty much the same as having some play in the steering wheel ...in reality, it'd be best compared to a clutch...jerky transitions with no play, same with horse & rider transitions with no play, especially downward transitions." Since the noseband straps the bit to the head pretty much, the play of the jaw is eliminated, & the rider is riding the head, interfering with its balance. The author also says that the horse's feeling of the rider's hands, thus ability to respond to them, are greatly reduced by the noseband, which lack of response can be felt by the rider, so lack of feeling between horse & rider results.

I also emailed the author for further clarification on the jaw alone used by the horse for balance. I think that the answer is that it's in connection with the bit & bridle that the jaw serves as the "play", so a horse with no bit, rein, nor bridle hasn't the need for the "play".


----------



## thesilverspear

HowClever, I think we went off on the noseband tangent because Barry, while chronicling the mare's adventures in dressage, expressed what seemed to me some worries over her moody, explosive behaviour and also mentioned that the people who mostly ride her seem to think she *needs* to be ridden in a flash noseband. These two things told me that the horse isn't accepting the contact and is anxious or stressed or not happy about something. Sure, there are hot horses and even sensible horses have nutty days, but if the horse is exploding frequently and has other issues besides which seem related to tension, then I wonder what might be going on with her. Hot horses can learn to chill out, at least enough to get on with their jobs. High performance sporthorses in things like eventing and dressage can be HOT, but the ones who do well are trained to focus their energy and of course, many just do not function well under an amateur rider. I'm not saying DiDi is hot as a four star eventer (I don't know...maybe she is); all I'm saying is hotness and sensitivity are not excuses for the horse to go totally bonkers on a regular basis.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Ladies, I now have the strong impression that the flash issue is a bone of contention. As a personal opinion I would not fit it , but DiDI's rider in competition is a fervent believer in the use of it, as much because it appears to be expected by the judges. Claire is determined to get the best results she can on the day and if fitting a flash helps reduce the likeliehood of DiDi losing points for not fitting it , then she won't take the chance. 

The only reason I can see for fitting it is that it would prevent DiDi from getting her tongue above the bit in a fit of misbehaviour. But who am I to argue?

DiDI does have a very relaxed extended walk - which I am told is a mark that she is reaching down and accepting the bit willingly enough. 
DiDi wears the flash for an hour or so and then it is easy enough to take off or release.

But in discussing the matter, I hear back repeatedly that with mares I must expect the occasional explosion alongside a touch of brilliance.

One of you kind ladies mentioned something very relevant. DiDi will next be on her 6th trip out in competition. She is by any standards still learning her trade. I must not expect too much of her too soon. If she does flip out from time to time, then I must be tolerant, so long as she doesn't inadvertently put herself or bystanders at risk.

What I have learned as a result of discussing this thread is that the professional dressage trainers and riders are up to all sorts of tricks to improve appearance and performance in competition. I thought that was a trait more of the jumpers but apparently not so. 

Whatever DiDi achieves I must remember that she is a privately owned riding horse. No more, no less. Her prime role in life is to be a companion in leisure, whether she wins or not should be irrelevant. She herself can't tell the difference between a red rosette and a sky blue pink one.

Barry

PS. Don't laugh. We recently rescued a Welsh/Trotter mare and paid peanuts to take her over. She was emaciated. Her feet were bad, with rub marks on a coat which had not been taken off for months. She's been fed. SHe's been nursed. She's a pretty little thing. She's now a happy girl. Then the dentist came to check her teeth and that dentist happens to be a dressage judge. So we showed her off and sent the young mare off around the arena in her brand new shoes to see what she can do. 
She's got a trot like that of Totilas.


----------



## thesilverspear

"What I have learned as a result of discussing this thread is that the professional dressage trainers and riders are up to all sorts of tricks to improve appearance and performance in competition. I thought that was a trait more of the jumpers but apparently not so."

Yeah, that's why I quit showing it. Got fed up with all the faffing and egos. I mean, there are plenty of lovely people involved in the sport as well, but they didn't outweigh the hassle.


----------



## Northern

Wanted to add that I did get a reply from the author re: jaws for balance, & the point is that the jaw gives the "play" *when* headgear & rider are on the horse.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Well, the pressure is off my Girlie. We Gloucestershire Yorkists made the journey down to where the Duke of Monmouth lost his claim to the Stuart throne but the results proved to be disappointing. DiDi came higher than the four other entrants from our riding club but she was well down from the places which would get her a ticket to Battenberg Windsor.

We’d watched other competitors perform including one absolutely stunning Welsh Cob, a descendent of Brenin Gwalia, a particularly striking stallion from the late 1940s. He caught my eye from a distance with his long salt and vinegar tail and flowing flaxen mane. Left unclipped he’d be a hairy beast with his deep chest and a remarkably long back. From his shortish heavily boned legs he produced as nature given, a flashy high stepping trot typical of some strains of cob. He might have been 15h3, all I knew was that he was my sort of horse, who would have been at home taking me over the upland moors of Wales. 

Whereas DiDi a powerful Irish Sports horse is a completely different breed of horse. Everything the cob was, she isn’t. When the results came out he came fourth and on looks alone, I might have voted him first. But even I had noticed he rode typically Welsh, with his nose at 8 o‘clock. He had ample power in his deep chest and he simply did not do ‘going on the bit‘. Although neither did the actual winner, an ex race horse. 

With my paternal eye I’d watched DiDi perform and as usual Claire had given a very professional show. As far as I could see DiDi did not make a mistake in the test but she was marked down, never the less. Maybe the judge did not like her stamp of horse. It was a lesson for me to learn. This female dominated world of dressage is all about fashion. If you are in the fashion of the judge, then you’ll do well; if you are not, then you won’t.

For the first time ever in her six outings, DiDi did not get a rosette. So I gave her a thick juicy pear instead.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

This DiDi on the day - how could you resist her charms?

(Ps I am talking about the horse and not the rider)


----------



## Jake and Dai

What a gorgeous girl she is Barry. I'd ask you to tell her that but I suspect she already knows it and would respond with disdain and her pretty nose in the air. 

Did the judge offer any comments to say why she didn't place higher?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Dai, I am new to this world of competitive dressage. There appears to be a lot of fierce rivalry amongst the ladies and this was a regional eliminator - covering one sixth of Britain.

Discussing the results later I got the impression that the judge that was not enamoured of the horse being 'on the bit' with a rounded outline at all times. 
Also DiDi is close coupled with a muscled neck - she remarked on both points. The Welsh Cob which came 4th, a really beautiful animal - came fourth but it did not go into a rounded outline at any time during the test. 

Dressage is subjective - but DiDi seems to love it, so we shall continue.
I just wish I could have been the rider.


----------



## thesilverspear

Eh? On what dressage test does a judge *not* want to see the horse in a rounded outline? I haven't shown for about eight or nine years but I can't imagine the sport has changed that much. 

Could the horse have been "faking it" -- that is putting her head down and flexing at the poll, but not coming through from behind? I can't tell from the pics. I'd have to see the horse moving. The judge may have been commenting on that. Otherwise, it just sounds totally bizarre. Since when in dressage did judges stop wanting horses 'on the bit????'


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver
I have the test on video - if only I could find out how to post it on the thread

B G


----------



## Jake and Dai

oooh...I'd love to see the video! I know very little about dressage so would not be able to tell if she had a good test or not, I just love to see pics of your dressage Diva. 

I think the only way to post the video is to first post it in a hosted site like Photobucket, then copy the link to HF. But I'm sure there are others who can help you with this.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Dai

DiDi is starting to make eyes at Claire's gelding 'Ollie',who is part Irish draught and who is at national level for dressage I told DiDi the other day, that if she doesn't behave herself, I'll have her put in the family way by a Lusitano stallion.

She mumbled back that there were too many horses in this world anyway.
I pointed out that there weren't many Irish bullfighters but there were lots of Irish dressage horses.

B


----------



## thesilverspear

Yeah, I'd quite like to see a video.

Did the judge write any comments on the test? That's what they do in the States, though the helpfulness of the comments depends on how articulate/lazy the judge is. Sometimes you get a novel and sometimes you get, "Behind the leg." Or worse, "Nice test" when you get like a 54% (how nice could it have been?). I just can't get my head around the suggestion that the horse was penalized for being on the bit, which makes me either wonder what the judge was smoking or think he/she must have been getting at something else he/she saw.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver
Final remarks by judge : " Promising partnership but horse needs to be allowed a longer neck and more supple outline"

Remember I am new to this game - Claire would be better to discuss what was a disappointing day. I wish I could post the video.

We are planning a private re-run of the test in front of another qualified but this time an 'affiliated' judge. There seemingly is a gap in marking between 'unaffiliated' and 'affiliated' judges.

B G


----------



## thesilverspear

Ahhhhh. Ok.  It all makes more sense to me now given the pictures you posted but I didn't want to comment then, not until I had a wee bit more information . I know pics can capture awkward moments (there are plenty of pics of me looking like a complete tool. Like the ones on my horse's profile -- fairly representative of rubbish dressage but we can look competent, I swear ), but it might not be indicative of the whole ride. If the judge is commenting on a certain aspect, it probably *is* indicative of what they saw during the five or six minutes you rode your test. 

That said, I'd actually agree with the judge's comment now that you've quoted it, as I had a similar thought myself. The judge is saying DiDi needs to be ridden in a *deeper* outline, not *less* of an outline. If you were to draw a line from her withers to her poll, it should be closer to the horizontal than it is in these pics. That big neck muscle needs to be more prominent and you should see more bending at the poll. DiDi also looks as if she's slightly above the bit and possibly tight through her back, not really bringing her hind end through and lacking in impulsion. She's not relaxed, not swinging through her back. Sure, her head's down, but a smart athletic horse can put its head down and arch its neck while its hind end remains in Aberdeenshire. There are about a squillion dressage horses in the world who go like this. They learn to give to the bit, sort of, but without coming through from the hind quarters. True impulsion is the horse thrusting forward from the hind end into the bridle. From there you get the dressage holy grail, collection. You can kinda get away with this sort of faking it in the lower levels , especially if your horse has naturally fancy gaits, but it haunts you when you start asking for movements which require true collection and impulsion. 

Just to reiterate this is a bit of guesswork between the moments captured in the photos and the judge's comments you've quoted. I'd have to see a video to have a better sense of how she moved. 

My horse and I should in theory be able to ride in a correct outline. If I can find someone at the barn who knows how to use a camera, I can show you pics of what I'm blethering on about, as a photo is better than me pontificating (I think there's a rule on this website on posting other people's photos, fair enough, so I'd better go take some of my own ).


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silve. I think I understand what you are saying.

I'll show your post to Claire and watch for a response.

What to do? 
Any suggestions?

Barry


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver

1/ Claire uses a Passoa to lunge DiDi in.
Any connection?

2/ If DiDi has acquired this way of evading collection - over a period of
months - what is the chance of re-training her?



Barry


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver, Three more photos of the day


----------



## thesilverspear

It's hard to make suggestions over the internet, as I haven't seen the horse go, much less ridden her. Lack of impulsion, lack of throughness, can be caused by so many different things that how you sort it out; how you train collection and impulsion, depends on both horse and trainer. For example, there a few pictures on my horse's profile of her going above the bit and behind the leg. We'd get like a 50% on a dressage test for that, if we were lucky. It doesn't come from her being tense or worried. It comes from her being a lazy sod and not being bothered to do any real work. Her laziness is exacerbated by *me* being tense, as I was in those photos since my father was standing there with a massive camera. When the rider is tense, she has to push through this stiff, awkward thing on her back and that's hard work, so she just potters around, as she just can't be arsed working that hard. To get a horse like this forward and through, you have to make her life easy; you have to be balanced and fluid and allow her to come through while at the same time, bloody insist in the nicest way possible (which occasionally involves a dressage whip and swearing), that she needs to get off your freakin' leg and use her freakin' hind end. Once this message is through, she's glorious, forward, powerful, like a wee dressage machine. Anyway, the balanced, fluid, allowing rider thing is crucial. She's fairly willing after she warms up to be forward, but if you're not able to ride it, she just can't be bothered. Fair enough. 

If you had a nervous horse with a lot more "go," you probably wouldn't get on its case like I've gotten on Gypsum's, as you'd end up with far too much "go."  At the same time, lack of impulsion can come from laziness, lack of training, or from a calm horse who can't be fecked pushing through an unbalanced, stiff rider, but it can also come from nervous tension, which is probably more of your problem. A horse can feel forward, running even from the rider's perspective, but it won't be *correct* in the dressage sense because most of their weight will still be in the forehand and they're not relaxed. With a horse who is naturally forward, which moves off the leg on a really light aid but still shows a lot of tension, I would focus on relaxation, on reaching down into the bridle. I'd do a lot of pottering about, as I think it's easier to push a happy, chilled out, horse forward into the bridle rather than set up barriers for a tense one because I'm worried it might take off with me (this is a totally personal thing). Earlier in this thread, we talked about flash nosebands concealing the fact that the horse may not be really yielding to the hand. If the horse *needs* a flash, she's probably not really yielding to the hand and she needs to work on stretching into the bridle. A lot. Dressage horses should understand that "leg on" = more engagement of the hindquarters, not run faster. If you're going along on a fairly light contact and you push the horse forward with your leg, the horse should reach for a deeper, but still light contact. Does DiDi do this? 

Talk to Claire, see what she thinks. I guess my suggestion would be to back off the intensive, pushing-the-levels training and refocus on the basics. Get the horse relaxing into the contact while maintaining the forward.


----------



## thesilverspear

The Pessoa probably doesn't harm her. I'm not convinced they are the magic answer to collection that some people think they are; they run the risk of teaching the horse to fake collection, since they apply poll pressure and all the horse needs to do is put its head down enough to find the release. On one level, that's kind of fine as teaching the horse to give to pressure is a very basic building block of any training. On another level, I'm not convinced the rope thingy at their butt teaches engagement of the hindquarters. There is no release when the horse brings its hocks and stifles underneath itself. The rope is still flapping about back there. Again, great for desensitization. Maybe not so great for teaching engagement and collection. Other people probably have different views on this. Those are just mine. 

If she has acquired this way of evading collection, it won't be terribly difficult to retrain her provided you have a rider able and willing to do it. It looks as if she has more than the basic building blocks of good training. She knows how to yield to pressure, she has a basic idea of what's expected her, which is great. She just needs to be guided to the correct way of going. In some cases, this might require the rider evaluating her own position, her own methods of training the horse. That's far harder than just training the horse. I've certainly had to do it. When you sort yourself out, the horse will often go along with the flow. They're pretty adaptable, responsive critters. Far more so than we are.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver, what can I say. You seem to know some stuff.

QUOTE:
If people were half as forgiving as that mare the world would be a better place. That's what people need to learn from horses. Patience, forgiveness, and honesty. I think people can really suck at these things. But as a lot of you know, when you work with horses you realize that they can be incredibly good at this and I think, if you open yourself up to them, you can find it in yourself to be a little bit more patient, forgiving, and honest. The world needs more of it. UNQUOTE Good thinking!

Silver
We've talked about the sensitivity of DiDi before. 
I can add one other factor about the day in question. Just as she was about to go into the arena , something freaked her - it could not have been much, my guess at the time was that it was another horse which was playing up in the warm up arena. But DiDI had a 'mini' turn at just the wrong moment. I was close by and she was looking up at something but I could not see what. 

Claire was also freaked a little and when she came out after riding the test, one of her gloves were torn. She had had a bit of a tussle.

Now I have to be very careful how I use these thoughts of yours. But thank you for giving me them.

Barry


----------



## thesilverspear

Did I write that first quote? I don't half talk b*llox sometimes. 

'Cause I said I would, here's us demonstrating a fairly acceptable lower level dressage outline. I made a friend at the barn take some pics this afternoon with my mobile phone camera while I rode about. For sheer professionalism, this really can't be beat.  Anyway, the horse is relaxed, forward, going towards the bridle, and you can see her really reaching under her body with her hind end. I'm on a fairly long, not very tight rein, as I was keeping her in a lowish frame like you'd want on a Training/First Level horse (we're ignoring my crappy equitation which maybe demonstrates that you can get this stuff without being a tremendously brilliant rider). The critical things a judge looks for in the horse at this level are relaxation, forward, and rhythm. 

With a sensitive horse like DiDi, you have to do the counterintuitive thing and act totally chilled out around her. You often see situations where people get wound up by their hot, sensitive horse, which in turn makes the horse even more wound up, and around you go. If Claire was feeling like she had to hang onto DiDi's face during the test, it certainly explains the tension the judge saw. She needs to relax into the hand. Not fight it. 

Hope that helps.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Yes, Silver it does help me understand.

Thank you.

This sensitivity issue goes back to when I first got her - almost three years ago now. My problem when riding her was my inability to relax, following a bad fall I had on my previous horse Joe. DiDi sensed my tension, then she knew she could torment me, which only went to make me more tense and eventually her more tense. Personally I have never felt relaxed on her.

My wife does better, but she doesn't try to do anything with DiDi.

Claire does show signs of tension from time to time although I suspect she would not like me to recognize it. But her voice gives her away. 

I can now detect more readily when something has bugged her. It is best then to wait and let the tension dissipate


----------



## thesilverspear

What was her history before you got her? Do you know?

Reactive horses, in my experience, work best with people who aren't reactive and aren't afraid of what the horse might do to them, who can provide the horse with consistent, calm leadership. Nervous horses can become far less nervous when their "herd leader" is always a bastion of zen-like stability. If a horse like DiDi is worried about something and then she picks up that you or Claire are also worried, she's probably going to think, "There is *definitely* something here to freak out about!" There's no way she can know that what you're anxious about is her. In her mind, you're probably worried about the same scary predator that's about to leap out and eat you. 

I guess if it were my horse, I would stress less about dressage shows and spend more time at home working on the basics. With this horse, the holes in her training seem to be around focus and relaxation. She gets scared and her brain shuts off and the people around her also get scared, which reinforces the behaviour. Earlier in the thread, you wrote that you had mentioned to Claire de-spooking DiDi by putting scary things in the arena and Claire vetoed that, concerned it would make DiDi spookier in the arena. I think she's wrong. I think exposing DiDi to scary things is *exactly* what you need to do. Lots. But whoever is working with her needs to be able to calmly deal with whatever reaction she has and tell her, "It's just a car/rubbish bin/tarp; it doesn't eat horses."


----------



## Northern

The horse should be able to place his head & neck where he wants to (provided he's not evading the bit) in order to execute the move asked of him by rider. If his mouth is below his impulsion line (equal to hip), he is on the forehand. "Modern dressage" is, imo, a farce, therefore. Look at clips from Spanish RS or the bullfighting horses, like Merlin **DO look at Merlin, to see a gallant, magnificent horse** to see that their heads are left alone, & are certainly above the impulsion line. Merlin's rider, to keep him from getting gored by the bull, MUST ride him correctly. Concern for his "headset" or "round frame" is out of the question. Merlin is running circles, by his athleticism, like running sideways, shifting & leaping from side to side, etc., around all of the poor "Modern dresssage" horses who are actually being abused by being held down & humped up in their backs, for the whims of the "dressage" people.


----------



## Northern

> Claire does show signs of tension from time to time although I suspect she would not like me to recognize it. But her voice gives her away.
> 
> I can now detect more readily when something has bugged her. It is best then to wait and let the tension dissipate


It's best to tell Claire that she must deal with her fear, because Didi knows it's there & that is a recipe for disaster. Claire needs to find where/when her fear starts, deal with that edge to gain confidence, for Didi's sake. This IS about the horse needing a confident leader.


----------



## thesilverspear

I think the "natural" head carriage of the horse depends on the conformation of the horse in question. Iberians are built very uphill with a naturally elevated head set, whereas lots of warmbloody and thoroughbreddy things carry their heads and necks closer to the horizontal (though with WBs, it varies). That natural elevation and collection is fantastic -- that's why those horses can piaffe, passage, and dodge bulls better than anything else. But I wouldn't look for the same kind of carriage from a TB that I would from an Andalusian. 

What you do with the horse's face depends on the training. In "correct" modern dressage training, the bit and reins are providing guidance to the horse about where he should put his head, but the "headset" comes from impulsion in the hind end. Provided it's done correctly (it's often not), I don't think it is forcibly holding the horse down. I had a trainer who used the metaphor of recycling the energy that comes from the hindquarters. A good horse will seek out that contact. If you put a beginner on my horse and have them trot around on a loose rein for a while, my horse will eventually start looking for the contact, as it's yet another point of communication between her and the rider. Would it be nice if she were super light and trained to move entirely off seat and leg? Well, yes, except not really because I'm not precise enough for that type of horse and would probably be bucked off.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Northern. 
I rode one of Lord Loch's Lusitano stallions when he came back from Portugal. He had been fascinated by the techniques of fighting bulls on horseback in the arena. I remember the Lusitanos had a very distinctive action in their hind quarters. 
Loch was not well received by the English dressage fraternity at the time. He was preaching a new way of approaching horses - not quite Monty Roberts, but I would love to have witnessed a conversation between him and Roberts. 
My brother and I spent a memorable week at his centre in East Anglia, to which we took our own horses. We first had a lesson on his horse,whilst our horses were being worked on by his staff, then we'd have the same lesson on our own horse, whilst his staff corrected our bad influence on his horses. Magic. He was a great teacher of horsemanship.

When Loch died, his wife Sylvia took over from him after a struggle. Sadly she had to sell some of his horses but she survived and has gone on to make herself famous.

If ever I got to breeding from DiDi, I'd seriously consider putting her to a Lusitano stallion. In that way maybe her progeny would have long silky hair.

If you put the pressure of winning at competition on the horse be it in dressage or jumping , and if winning horses command an enormous price, then it is
inevitable that short cuts in training will be devised by the professionals.

It is also very likely that the runners up will try to emulate the winner.


----------



## Northern

No horse, of any breed, when going at liberty, goes looking at his knees! The head is to be left alone, for the horse to use to execute what's asked of him. Who knows better than the horse where to put his head/neck in order to do something? How presumptious for some human to think he knows better than the horse!


----------



## thesilverspear

You're distracting me from the Daily Show! 

No horse at liberty is carrying 8 stone+ (at least!) on their back, obviously. The justification for the dressage frame is basically that the horse is bringing his hindquarters underneath him and using his his back muscles so he can carry and balance the rider's weight more easily. When they start breeding horses who know instinctively how to carry a rider, I'm definitely buying one.  Until then, most horses have to be trained how to do it.


----------



## Northern

Yes, a horse must learn to adjust himself in order to carry a rider, BUT the adjustment is NOT in lowering his head! Why would it be? Lowering his head simply puts him on the forehand. Putting a horse on the forehand causes him to break down.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver
As I age so my riding life comes to an end. I found DiDI who had been schooled for two years to do riding club events. She'd been cub hunting, done some jumping and a few basic club competitions. She's a pretty horse with a delightful temperament. 

There is a gap in DiDi's story namely the first few years when she was in Ireland. Both her breeder and his son had died unexpectedly and I suspect the herd of horses went to auction. I'd like to know what happened in that period down near Cork. Uncertainty, lack of routine, would have freaked DiDi out.

When first she arrived in Wales she went from dealer to dealer - because she is good looking. With hindsight, all this was not the right upbringing for her.
She can be skittish to trust out in on the lanes and it took me some time to come to terms with that reality. It became apparent that I was getting too old to take the chances - hence the route to dressage - which is not my game at all. 

So now, how can we help her find her role in life? She's got a good chance to live longer than me and I don't want to think of her as a brood mare.


----------



## thesilverspear

I had this great website that explained the physiology of this stuff very well but I don't seem to have bookmarked it. 

*Of course* the horse can lower his head and lug around on his forehand. The horse can also put his nose in the air, invert his back, and run around on his forehand. Horses at liberty do not move in collection all the time. For a few brief seconds they will, in play, fight, or flight, but they don't hold it. But to carry the rider and not break down, they should be carrying the weight on the hindquarters and thrusting forward from the rear. One way -- not the only way, but one way -- to get them to do this is create energy in the hindquarters and then contain it with the bridle. If the horse is giving to the bridle and recycling his energy, he'll flex in the poll.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

We'd know a lot more about how a horse actually carries itself and the rider if we got round to fitting pressure sensors on the feet. The technology is probably already in existence. 

But I think it unlikely that a short necked cob, with a broad chest, bags of bone and a fair gap between the front legs - ie as per my old horse Joe - carried himself in the same way as a warmblood. They grow the muscle under the neck rather than on the top. Joe was bred to pull as well as carry.

I still reckon that by trying to reschool him to the classical way of carrying himself at the age of 13 , is why he became so difficult. But I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. - Another story.


----------



## Northern

Flex at the poll, NOT in the neck, & a supple JAW for the communication with rider. 

One doesn't properly ride the horse's head, but does "ride" the hindquarters/seat of impulsion.


----------



## thesilverspear

Either get Claire to sort out her own fears or find someone to ride her who isn't afraid of her. Most horses are capable of learning how to be less skittish in the right hands. If she has a basically nice temperament, she is well able to learn how to be a trusting horse. She just needs people who can show her life isn't very scary.

Northern, that's what I said.


----------



## Northern

Silver, I know: I was showing you that I agreed with _that_ part of your post.


----------



## bsms

Didi & dressage: sounds like she is suited for it and has a decent rider, or she wouldn't have gone as far as she has as fast. I'm not a huge fan of dressage, but I'm not hearing anything that makes me think she is a failure at it. Of course, I'm typing with a sore wrist after Mia bolted during my dismount today, so what do I know about horses? Nothing broken, though, so round 2 will come Friday. Hope nothing breaks then...

I guess the shame of it to me is that it sounds like you can't enjoy riding Didi, but aren't really ready to give up riding. That makes a tough call. Pushing 53, I'll keep Mia. If I were on the far side of 60, I'd probably sell her...and then bawl like a baby. Is selling an option? There has to be a sensible horse around who would love a stroll to a pub and offer friendship without the tension.

From my perspective, this isn't the thread to debate dressage on. It isn't a sport for me, not even if I were much younger and had a suitable horse. I cringe when I watch it, so I doubt I can ever understand it as a sport or as a way of training.

A horse can be a wonderful horse and a poor match at the same time. My forearm aches, so I'm going to take some aspirin and wish both Barry and Didi the best - together or not. I wish I could offer wisdom, but all I've got is sympathy and the confidence that Barry Godden will figure out what is best for both of them!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

bsms. 
DiDi is part of my life and without her there would be a big gap. Which is what horses do to some people, me especially. She was bought to fill my days in retirement 

The problem with dressage in general is that not many people properly understand the theories behind it and then along come fashion and short cuts which add to the confusion. Being someone who rode for many years on a long loose rein, forward style, believing the most important thing was that the horse carried me safely, I come from the opposite side of any discussion. 

Sadly the one thing DiDi doesnt do well, ie behaving like a Gentleman's Riding Horse, means that I have to find her another role in someone else's life. Hence I have to poke my nose into something I don't uderstand that well. I am trying to learn and, from time to time, the HF helps me understand.

DiDi will in due course be passed on. The only question is to whom. 
I have to find someone who has similar ideas to my own, otherwise my Girlie will soon find her self strapped down tightly with leather and being shouted at. In such a home, she will not last long, especially when they get the whip out.

In the meantime, as long as when I turn up she trots over and gives me a lick of welcome and a look asking "Where the heck have you been?", all is acceptable. Bearing in mind how many good horses are being discarded these days, DiDi has got it made and if she does well, that's great. If she doesn't, then we had a day out together. 

If only I could find the key to her skittishness then all might come right. 

Barry


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*DiDi has a turn*

*Didi has a turn. (1700 words)*​ 
Well yesterday we reached Defcon 4 with DiDi. 
It is true we were half an hour late getting to the stable by which time she was alone on the yard with her head over the stable door. In passing I stopped for a moment to say good morning to Claire which did not help. 
I should have gone over and straight away have given DiDi a stroke and an apology for being late.

DiDi looked at me and I could sense her saying : *Where the bl**dy h**l have you been?”*
I gave her a stroke on the forehead and she pulled back as I did so. 
I opened the stable door and she turned her butt towards me.
I moved to undo the straps of her top rug and she fidgeted.
All in all she made life difficult. The day was not starting well. Her feet needed picking out and with much reluctance she eventually allowed me to clean all four but by keeping moving she made it as difficult as possible . Before the job was done I had to tie her up to the haynet hook, which is not usually necessary.

By this time the grooming area was free so I led her out and over towards the bay. Immediately she looked around to see which horses were still in the stable block. She was on her own. 
*Sniff Sniff Sniff.*

We reached the grooming bay and I went to hook her up on both sides of her head collar. 
She snatched and tugged at the crucial moment. Attaching her took time. 
Then I went round the back of her to free up her under rug. Her head was restrained but her back end wasn’t so she moved about.
*“What are you doing now?” *she asked.
I told her that I was going to give her a groom.
All I got in reply was a muffled *:”Well get on with it“.*
She made life difficult. I moved to get the mud off her face. I tried to remove the earth stains from the white patches. I went to wipe her eyes At each stage she fidgeted.

It was very obvious already that she was in a Mare’s Mood. We’d reached *Defcon 1*
I used the soft brush which is not so effective at cleaning but at least it did not scratch. I was being considerate. I had to use the comb on her mane, what little she has left. That gave her an excuse to shake her head. I moved down her back to free up the hairs under the saddle area. She fidgeted. 
*“That hurts” *she muttered
Then we came to her ample butt. That’s where all the power is hidden. But the winter coat is beginning to come out and so I used the comb on it to remove the loose hairs. She started to wiggle like a belly dancer performing in front of an arab sheikh.

The legs had to be done as they were splashed with mud from yesterday I reached down to get one. She pulled away. We were by now at Defcon 2. 
I called out to her and said that the sooner we had finished grooming, the quicker she could go out into the paddock.
*“Get on with it then” *she said irritably.
Then I went to comb out her feathers. 
Instantly there was: *“You’ve done my feet already*” 
I told her that yes I’d done her feet but not the feathers. Anyway she need some hoof oil applied to her hooves. *“Why?” *
I tried to explain about hooves needing protection from the mud.
*“Fiddle, fiddle, fiddle, that’s all you ever do”*

Eventually she was ready to tack up with the Pessoa. She was going to be lunged today. Once she saw the saddle blanket, that was it. 
*“Oh no you don’t“. *she said.
I told her that was the plan.
*“Oh No you don’t”*
It was pointless to argue. Lunging was what she was going to do. She was in no mood to attempt to ride.
The hard bit of fitting a Pessoa is getting it tightened up and she knew it. Even though she was tied by the head, she could still move. All of a sudden down came her front left hoof and it grazed my boot. I shouted back at her to behave.. We were at Defcon 3.
Finally I managed to get the straps tight enough.

Now we were ready for the lunging cavesson. I had to get the head collar off and the cavesson on. I needed her cooperation. I looked around to make sure the various gates were closed. If she made a break for it then she would never let me catch her. She and I both knew that.
Getting the head collar off should be easy enough but I knew I had then to get it round her neck as a temporary restraint. I almost managed but at the crucial moment she pulled her head back to teach me that it was not going to be that easy.
I shouted again to be still. For a moment she hesitated and with that hesitation I managed to attach it round her neck. 
All remained was the cavesson.
At the critical moment of fitting it, she pulled back and again down came the foot. At the same time she gave me a body nudge This time I felt the edge of her iron shoe grazing the edge of my foot. 
This was war and I dare not allow her to win.

I shouted at her, perhaps the loudest I have done for sometime. It is a tone of voice which I rarely use with her. BEHAVE! I stared at her straight in the face and I poked her chest with my digital finger. She backed off. I got the cavesson round her nose and tightened up.

Where had my kind natured, gentle, compliant, pretty, little mare gone? 
What had caused all the kerfuffle?
Normally when she is tacked up and ready to go, I give her a tidbit. On this occasion if she calmed down and behaved then I’d give it to her. She looked at me and for the moment I was deceived. So I put my hand out with the biscuit on it. She snatched it off me. But at least now she was in a mood to be led. Or so I thought.

The arena was by now free. Claire was down there and she is better at lunging than I shall ever be. So I led DiDi down and passed the lead rope over. I warned Claire that DiDi was in a mood, not that I had to, she had already heard the noise. As Claire clipped on the lunging line

DiDi exploded. The horse knew the routine and she pulled back and took off immediately into a circular canter around Claire Usually she would start the exercise in walk and in control. This time there was to be no mucking about. 

She went from canter, to gallop to racing gallop. 

I watched her leaning over at a 45 degree angle going round and round with Claire in the middle desperately trying to shorten the lunge line. At one spot, her feet were by the edge of the elevated section of the edge of the unfenced arena - if DiDi had misjudged it, she would have gone over the edge and dropped almost five feet. 

There was nothing to be done. Claire let her work it out. DiDi went round and round and round in a display of raw power It was Defcon 4. I have never seen DiDi behave quite like that ever before. My Rottweiler sometimes bursts into ‘super hype mode’ and here we were witnessing the horsey version. The raw power was awesome.
Eventually she slowed and finally Claire got back control. 

The lunging session ended with five minutes or so of very active walk. DiDi was steaming. 
Claire was a little abashed to say the least.

I went down and took back control. I looked up DiDi.
I asked her if she had had enough of exercise for the day.
She looked at me. She was as a child who had had a tantrum.
She gave me a muzzle nudge. We were down at Defcon 2
“*Where is my biscuit” *- but the tone was this time acceptable.

I reached into my pocket and brought out a carrot. She made to grab it but I told her to wait. She waited. 
I gave her the carrot. I must never get angry or bear a grudge with an animal.
I took her back to the stable. I dismantled the Pessoa and slung the sweat rug over her.

It was a cold day and with half an hour or so, she was cool enough to put her day rug on. This time, butter would not melt in her mouth.
By now we were down at Defcon 1 - not quite submissive but almost.

Leading her out to her field was not straight forward and she tried to nudge me over, but when I pushed back at her with my shoulder, she behaved. We walked past the other horses who had all been witness to the fight in the arena. She snorted a couple of times and I think she was saying to them: “*Well I am back*“.

Of course I don’t know what the interlude was all about. All I know is that whenever the moon is blue, or a comet crosses the night sky, or DiDi fancies a fight, there can be an explosion of tremendous energy. If I can recognise at the beginning that she is in that mood, then it is best to leave her wherever she is. She would certainly be dangerous to ride.

As I took off her head collar and went to leave the field, she turned round and gave me a very gentle nudge. Almost as if she was saying *“Sorry, Boss, for being naughty*“.
I reached into my pocket and gave her the last remaining biscuit. We were friends again.
The *Defcon* emergency was over


----------



## gottatrot

I stole this from the thread: _How much does a thought weigh?

_
"So, how hard do I have to work to get his thought with me? Well, that depends on how much a thought weighs. If the horse gets that thought really strong and heavy onto something, like, "I wanna go home" or, "my friend is calling me back" or, "I think that dark red thing over there is going to eat me", THEN I will have to be strong to bring that heavy thought back."


I have some other names I use for when my horse reaches Defcon 4. Sometimes I call it "angst," sometimes I call it "snort and blow." 
Where does it come from? Sometimes the weather, sometimes from the springtime air. Sometimes from a stallion nearby, sometimes from the wind. Sometimes from too much time in a stall, sometimes from being very fit. 

Ah well, I used to say. I didn't want to ride today anyway...

Nowadays I have gotten to the point where I can ride through the angst. Getting tacked up and on can be the problem. But movement, especially a good gallop can be the cure. Sometimes I just watch the horse leap around on the lunge, throwing in bucks that appear too agile for a horse of that age. For me it is best to just marvel at how powerful and beautiful a horse can be, and to be amazed that such a creature decides to let me work with her at all.


----------



## Jake and Dai

Barry...that was a wonderful read. I'm sorry you had such a *time* with DiDi but I most thoroughly enjoyed that!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*DiDi goes flying.*

It has been some time since DIDI has jumped through the hoops, in the meantime she has been practicising the dressage thingie. So when the other day we set up a jump to introduce a young mare to the sport of show jumping it was thought a good idea to see if DiDI still remembered what to do. She certainly had.

And here are a couple of the photos to prove it.

One thing we learned pretty quickly - DiDi doesn't do small jumps.
It looks as though she's got the taste for the big stuff.


----------



## MajorSealstheDeal

She is absolutely adorable, mare attitude aside. Great read Barry, I thoroughly enjoyed it.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Examination Day* 
Tomorrow is a big day for My Girlie. She is going to be ‘examined’ by a _Grand Prix _dressage rider. The Countess is going to ride her according to the programme of DiDi’s latest test and then the expert dressage lady will give her opinion as to what DiDi is good for in the World of Dressage. 

The first thing for a newcomer like me to absorb is the complexity of the league ratings of the competitors in this sport of fancy horse dancing. First there is ‘affiliated’ and ‘un affiliated’. The ‘affies’ are the pros and the semi pros who play the game to compete. They are serious riders and the ‘affie’ judges for this reason tend to be the best and most consistent in their opinion and therefore their markings. The theory is that a competitor should know at the end of the test whether they did well and similarly they should know before they get off the horse if they fluffed it.

The ‘unaffs’ are the amateurs who play for fun. The tests for ‘unaffs’ are in principle the same as those for ’affs’ only the judges are a little bit more generous in their markings - usually. But because the judges are ‘amateur’ judges there tends to be more variance with the perceived performance. There can be arguments between the competitors as who who really deserved to do well. 

Similarly the ’affie’ judges reflect the latest trends in the sport. Once DiDi signs up to being an ‘affie’ then her results are recorded at head office.

The Countess feels that DiDi’s walk is her weakest link in that she doesn’t wiggle her butt in accordance with the latest fashion. From the sidelines it seems to me as though Marilyn Monroe could have done well in this game, whereas my DiDi has child bearing hips But who am I to judge! Anyway tomorrow we shall discover if DiDi should do Unaffiliated Preliminary or Affiliated Novice - or indeed Affiliated Elementary. All is very confusing.

Now the difference between Walk & Trot, Preliminary, Novice and Elementary is in the complexity of the manoeuvres called for in the test. But as I understand it ‘Affi Ele’ is way up the scale for an inexperienced maid like my DiDi. If she goes into the ring at that level, which is way up from the first rungs appropriate for a horse who has only just started to make her way in this world, then she’ll be up against the toffs. 

My Girlie is a shortish, dapple grey, Irish cross country girl, whereas a lot of the competition will be very tall, expensive, muscle and butt warmbloods who have been specially bred for the job. DiDi cost a few thousand £pounds but the real keen ’Affie’ competitors make sure that their horse can bend its neck by buying warm blooded horses with long necks. Such horses cost tens of thousands of £pounds and are mostly imported from Europe.. The newly purchased 'Affie’s' horse usually arrives on the stable yard speaking German.

The Countess has a feeling that DiDi might not be able to compete at the highest level because she is the wrong shape - so we are going for a knowledgeable outsider’s opinion. It seems that a 15H1 close coupled, broad backed , power house like My Girlie is not this year’s vogue. We’ll see what the expert opinion says. 

She’s approachable, My Girlie, she’s not the least bit stuck up as to whether her rider wears a top hat and tails. I just hope that all this attention doesn’t mean that she’ll ignore me when I go into her paddock to collect her. 
She’ll be asking for matching rugs and a new saddle next.

B G


----------



## Northern

Barry, I'm concerned about Claire holding Didi's nose in as she jumps. You may want to research the subject.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Well DiDi had her lesson today with Madame Mandy - the Grand Prix dressage rider I watched for three quarters of an hour whilst DiDi went round and round in circles. As usual there was a lady in the middle of the ring wearing knee high boots calling out instructions in a strident voice. Towards the end of the lesson the tone of the instructor seemed to soften a little and a few smiles started to appear on the face of both instructor and rider. DiDi looked over to me and seemed to ask if she was doing OK. I smiled and gave her a little wave.

At the end of the lesson I had words with the instructor, Mandy. 
*“She’s fabulous*“, she replied with broad smile on her face.
“*Enter her at Affiliated Novice level and she will do OK She is short backed and for that reason will need to be taught how to extend herself, but in the same way she’ll find collected work easy“.
*

So that will be the way forwards. 

My having a second opinion on DiDi’s training and the results she achieves in tests will better enable me to understand what is going on. The martingale went today. We shall again raise the issue of the flash in due course. As for jumping, well that can go onto the back burner for the time being.

My Girlie did well today and by the time we got her home she was quite tired. I fitted her day rug, gave her a pear and two carrots and put her out in the field for a couple of hours. She trotted off, seemingly content with herself.
and when later I brought her back in, she was ready for her tea.

On, and hopefully, upwards we go.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

DiDi's career is for the moment in suspense. Oliver , The Countess's own horse is in the process of moving up the list in the Nationals dressage competition.
For that reason he is getting all of the attention. 

He is a funny horse, one minute he is psychotic and dangerous, the next minute he performs a superb dressage test.

In the meantime DiDi is taking in the rays. She's out 24/7 and the heat is off her. But soon she will be back on the tread mill - bless her.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

It has been decided. DiDi's next performance will be at Affiliated Preliminary in the second week in May. Before then she will have another lesson with the Grand Prix rider.

She's being used for utilitarian duties in the meantime. She is helping to sell a couple of The Countess's rescued waifs. Her being an example of a difficult horse to ride - the waifs being by comparison relative angels.

The question of a dressage saddle has now arisen. The Pathfinder is seemingly not appropriate - it is flat topped with minimal knee rolls. DiDi and The Countess want an Ideal Jessica - typical. There are four saddles hanging on the racks in the tack room and none of them are appropriate for the work. Yet if we were in the USA, I could buy any wide fit saddle off the internet and stuff a thick saddle blanket under it. 

If it were me I'd get her a nice light Western saddle, without a horn - or maybe even an endurance cut treeless. An Australian WOW would be nice. A Spanish traditional would suit her flat back. Sadly none of those would be acceptable with the Top Hat brigade. Women!

There have been whispers about her entering into dressage to music - will she have to dress up for that too?

On we go.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

I had cause to day to sit and consider where DiDi's future lies. Undoubtedly it is in dressage and perhaps later as a brood mare. When the time comes right she should be put to a fancy stallion - perhaps a Lusitano. It would be interesting to see the result of the mating.

I have now finally decided that she will never ever make a Gentleman's Riding Horse - she is too skittish and at the age of 11, she is unlikely to change.

However last week at her first affiliated Novice dressage test, she entered 
for only her second ever Novice level test and scored 67.5% - and if not entered 'HC' - she would have come third out of ten entrants. Undoubtedly she is a changed horse in the care of The Countess.

Today I was asked by the Countess not to help prepare DiDi for her outings to the competition centre as apparently my presence hypes her up. So in future I will turn up at the venue rather than at the stables. But in all truth I am not into spectator sports. In any case I do not have the eye for dressage movements - neither do I have the knowledge or ability to enter mysel for any test even on my own well schooled horse. In any case that competition in any speciality is not my game.

The writing is on the wall. The logical thing to do would be to pass DiDi on to a new kindly owner with an interest in dressage or to come to some deal with The Countess about DiDi's future.

I daresay sometime this season matters will come to a head and it will involve relinquishing ownership of my Irish Huzzy. In the interim I have passed prime responsibility for DiDi over to my wife, who still rides her at least once a week.
I haven't ridden her for months and am unlikely to do so in the future. The higher DiDi climbs up the dressage ladder, the less likely it is I shall ever ride her again.

I have thought about looking around for a steady cob but in truth the area in which The Countess's yard is located is not good for hacking. Until DiDi's future is settled then it makes no sense to think of taking on the responsibility of yet another horse. 

So with this situation in mind for the moment the sequence of events behind this thread has come to an end. It remains only to sort out DiDi's future but since I don't know the details of the end game, I can't yet write them down. 

As and when the future unfurls, I shall add a postscript.

In the meantime, thank you all for reading.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*The world keeps on spinning round.*

It has been some time since I updated you all on DiDi 's progress in the British world of Dressage. Much to my amusement she is doing well - very well in fact.

It was just about 12 months ago that I decided to put her in the care of the Countess and this last weekend she did us proud. She came 3rd in a second ever test at Affiliated Elementary level with a score of 65.6%. The competition was, as is common these days, mostly fancy warmbloods which cost a fortune to buy, whereas my girl had an Irish Draught dad and a mum named Molly - probably a connemara. DiDi is of common stock. Of course it helps that her dapple grey coat and the multicoloured tail give her a sprauncy look.

What it all boils down to is that within less than 12 months she has gone through 'Walk & Trot', Preliminary, Novice and now Elementary levels. More to the point she is regularly scoring '8' marks on the score sheets and finishing regularly with scores of total 65%+ at Novice & Elementary level.

Watching her perform I am a little torn. It is all a bit like me visiting a university to see my daughter perform and there she is dressed up in a tutu and pointed silk shoes dancing the Sugar Plum Fairy, when I wanted her to learn to be a Chartered Accountant.

I am told she is now worth double what I paid for her but who cares. I bought her because she clicked with me then I paid the asking price to own her. She is not a financial asset, she is my horse. 

One problem is that she is a little stiff on the left hand side. Maybe this is to do with the fall she had two years ago. We'll see. In the meantime we are trying to qualify for the Petplan Area Festival competition. She needs two test marks for affiliated at a high level and she already has one at the un-affiliated level -but which sadly doesn't count. But there are months to prove herself. As long as she behaves herself in the warm up arena we should be OK.

She's got me taped now. I have to take her two juicy pears as her treat instead of one. Bless her.


----------



## Jake and Dai

What a wonderful, yet bittersweet, update Barry. Pictures would be lovely if you have the chance to post them. 

Well done DiDi!!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Dai - if you go to my CP and look up all the albums - there are the photos.

As far as the dressage is concerned - if you see one still photo of DiDi prancing along with The Countess aboard dressed in white and blue, doing the light fantastic, then you have the lot. 

I had a plan to incorporate in some sort of electronic book not only a video of her parading around the arena whilst being judged but also to include a copy of the score sheet. However I am told that if I were to put together such a publication, I would be infringing the copyright of British Dressage and therefore would be liable for damages. Ugh. What a world we live in.

All I can say is - that for the first affil elem test for which she scored 65.6% , I personally could not see that she had put a foot wrong. But I am no judge.

What I did not get to photo was the look on the face of another competitor whom we had beaten. SHe was riding a tall, stunning jet black warmblood gelding and who had arrived in a $200,000 plus, 6 horse horse box complete with accomodation. This affiliated British dressage world is a whole new ball game - we are up with the toffs that is for sure.

I suppose they are all practicising for the Olympics next year. My guess is the riders will be English but the horses will be German warmbloods. Sad really. You can't have a foreign rider in the various Olympic teams, how can there be foreign horses?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Bitter-sweet a contradiction in meaning*

Dai

You used the term ‘bitter-sweet’ in your recent post in connection with my relationship with DiDi. In many ways it was appropriate term for you to employ but the phrase stuck in my mind when I read it. It brought me to thinking and then back to writing.

I am a little bitter that DiDi is doing well at dressage in the hands of a young semi professional rider. Dressage is an equine speciality of which I am not yet “au fait“. I could never pass judgement over a horse and rider’s display in a dressage test. Little about the concept of formal dressage appeals to me. It is a performance originally conceived in the ménages of Paris by the likes of De La Guerinere and Baucher for a nineteenth century audience. It is a display more reminiscent of the circus than the riding out of the horse into the community. It is a dance and a show of supreme control by the rider over the horse. It becomes a display of gymnastics when the judge makes comment by using words such as ‘stiffness‘.

I liken the sport to dancing. The discipline is usually conducted in a quiet flat, sandy, safe arena where the stresses of modern day living have been purposefully removed. A horse’s shy would bring a disastrous loss of points in competition. There are no dogs to bark, no sharp noises to frighten. Nor are there noisy intrusive vehicles to circumvent. If left to me I would aim to deliberately introduce into the training arena hazards presented in the community so as to reduce the fear of them in DiDi’s mind for when she is hacking out. However the Countess does not want the horse to become frightened of the arena, so such training is restricted. Personally I would rather the horse be frightened in the arena than the lane. These are two opposing trains of thought.

In dressage, the horse is collected up and the pace is directed by the rider. The horse must respond instantly whilst alongside a letter it can’t recognise according to instructions it can’t read. 
Out on the trail, the horse is left with a length of rein to move its head. Without instruction a naturally competent trail riding horse will look after both itself and its rider. The human decides only on the general direction of the outing whilst the horse picks its way carefully along the path and over the obstacles. 

My slight bitterness is associated with DiDi’s obvious propensity for an activity which I can neither do nor appreciate. Yet when I do take DiDi out into the lanes to face a world with which she is perfectly capable of coping, she becomes skittish and highly strung. Then, as she picks up on what disturbs me about her behaviour, she deliberately plays upon it. Yet again she tries to show she is the boss. 
Actually she only misbehaves sharply when she is in a ’mood’, be it from hormones or some slight she has perceived and wishes to remind me of. That slight could be as simple as my having said ‘hello’ to another horse on the yard before I spoke with her. 

Is she “sweet”. Never, despite her outwardly kind temperament towards the casual observer.. DiDi is devious and will remain permanently so. She is one of those horses who knows that she as a horse has strengths which humans do not possess. She knows she needs protection through humans but never at the cost of loss of dignity.

DiDi has noticed that I leave her more with The Countess. Nowadays I even have to ask which cloak DiDi should wear and what she is to be fed. DiDi knows that with me, she is offered the greenest of grass and treats by the pocketful. I am the only source of pear. I am the only groom who leaves her untied when she is being tacked up. I am a source of affection. I am the soft touch.

But rarely do I ride her because I might dull her response to an aid. 
The Countess keeps her calves off the flanks of the horse, I wrap mine around her ample belly. 
The Countess wears dull spurs, I indicate a ’cue’ by a squeeze of a muscle, or a resistance on the rein.
The Countess pulls it down into a rounded outline from the very beginning of the session. I let the horse set the angle of her head and neck. 
I leave her to choose where to place her feet, the Countess places DiDi’s feet precisely where they are deemed to tread. 
I am old school, The Countess is strictly a modern competitor who sets out to win. 
In truth we should not be trying to share the same horse. I am acid, she is alkali. We come from different ends of the spectrum. 

Nothing about this trio of horse and riders is ‘sweet’. It is not a descriptive adjective to be found in equestrian jargon. DiDi is no filly foal. The Countess is a very self possessed young woman. Me, well I am a cynic.

My underlying concern is that an Irish Draught cross, no progeny of a famous sire, is not fashionable in the upper echelons of the world of dressage. There is ceiling to what DiDi can reach in such company. A 15h1 mare is not the preferred stamp of horse. Totilas is almost of a different species.

Undoubtedly my Girl will move up the ranks of Elementary and she might even break into Medium but then she will have reached her peak. She’ll never reach the top. 
At the point the highly competitive Countess might discard her and take on a new challenger, especially if DiDi continues to become unpredictable in the warm up arena. On one hard won and important day, my girl might well throw a strop, merely because she felt slighted or perhaps just superior to the other horses in the ring. 
On that occasion the Countess will lose her cool. Then it will take just one sharp dig of the spurs or a angry tug on the reins and DiDi will switch off and refuse to cooperate, thereby making the Countess look foolish. That loss of face will cost my mare dear. DiDi will have demonstrated, once and for all, that she will be compliant but never submissive. 

And where would my girl be placed in such circumstances? Well it will be as a brood mare although I am not too sure that DiDi is maternally inclined. Chances are that if she were to welcome the favours of a Lusitano Gigolo, then she’d eventually procreate an awkward filly as stroppy, sharp, intelligent, self confident and as devious as herself.

Bitter - sweet - hmm!


----------



## Skipsfirstspike

Barry, I love your posts. Very heartfelt, intelligent, entertaining and endearing.
However, I miss the posts about your meanderings around the countryside. 
Why do you not let DiDi go?
You sound so sad. I think I remember months ago you saying that you wouldn't get another horse 'at your age'. Please correct me if I am wrong.
I think there is a horse out there who needs you. And you need him/her.
I wish you.. and DiDi.. all the best.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Get another horse*

SFS

“Get another horse“. Oh, if DiDi could hear you say those words. 
Even, the suggestion of doing a deal with The Countess and swopping DiDi for a mutt would be a non starter. No, it can’t be done.

The sad fact is that at my age I am well past my sell by date as a rider and it would be wrong of me to take 24/7 responsibility for a vulnerable animal which could easily live longer than me. Anyway, the mistake which I made when choosing DiDi to be my hack, could easily be repeated.

DiDi does give me pleasure in various ways but at the same time she is a worry because she is such a complex creature. One does not force this animal to submit, one asks for, and awaits, compliance. 

Of late there have been visitors to the yard looking at two horses which have come up for sale. Pretty Girl has gone after what proved to be a lengthy and difficult sales process. Hilly is presently attracting a lot of attention, too often from the wrong type of buyer. In both cases whilst the prospective buyer was trying to decide whether the horse for sale was fit for purpose - we were looking at the visitor to see if they could handle properly the horse in question. However neither of these horses presented the problem that DiDi would present were she to be put up for sale. 

Undoubtedly we would receive lots of calls about DiDi from the Dressage community - all of them seeking a winner. She has already aroused a lot of attention in the local community. However the tentative newcomers to the sport would not be competent to get the results at prelim level and the aspiring winners would soon get fed up with her tantrums at affiliated elementary level. They would no doubt be pleased to see DiDi’s quiet gentle behaviour in my presence and her sharp paces on the videos but they would not realize that she can be a complete and dangerous huzzy for no apparent reason. The new owner might soon wonder if they had been sold a pup, in which case we might get back a different horse from the one we sent away.

I would dread to have to go through the sales process with her. The last time I tried this selling a horse palaver was three years ago when I *gave *Joe back to his previous owner. But within six months he had been put down as being no longer economically viable. If I had kept him, he would still be alive. The thought haunts me as I know that finding the right home for DiDi presents more of a challenge, be it of a different nature, than for Joe.

The decision has been made to review the situation about DiDi on an annual basis. She is set to remain with us until next Spring. In the interim we shall see how far she can get in competition and I’ll keep an eye open in case I come across a suitable owner for her. A better answer would be for the Countess to keep her indefinitely but the long term question is whether I can trust her not to sell my Girl on. In this scenario the yawning gap between the professional rider’s attitude and that of the amateur owner becomes starkly evident. 

My 16 year old crippled terrier ***** lays at my feet. My horse is contentedly nibbling at grass in her paddock. My name is on their passports. I worry too much about both of them.


----------



## Jake and Dai

Oh Barry! I didn't meant to make you feel badly about DiDi and the situation you are both in. Please do forgive me.

The unconditional love, affection and regard you have for your animals always comes shining through all of your posts and _bittersweet_ was the feeling I got when reading about DiDi's adventures.

I have 2 pasture puffs that seem to me healthy and happy enjoying their leisure. There are times that I think I should just sell (or give away more likely) them to someone who will give them the 'jobs' that we always hear horses need. Would they be happier? Perhaps...I cannot read equine minds.

Would I be happier? No. I would be worried about their futures and where they might end up. No matter how closely I could vet out their new owner, I could not control what that new owner would do the moment their hooves entered the trailer.

Selfish of me? Probably. But I do so enjoy time spent mucking the stall while they are out munching away in the pasture. It is my relief from the stresses of the world.

And could I ever replace the lifting of my heart when I'm preparing the feed and hearing them nicker sharply at me to 'hurry up already!'...doubtful.

In my head I am likening your 'release' of DiDi to a world of dressage and all that entails for a not-perfectly-suited-for-the-discipline mount to watching a child go off to university and then out to the real world. You want the very best for them without them feeling a single second of fear, pain, doubt or anguish. You want them to be 100% perfectly joyous every single moment.

But...you also know, that is simply not possible.

I wish the only the best for both you and the beautiful DiDi.


----------



## Beling

Sad posts. Especially as I don't like the artificiality of the professional dressage world. I hope you don't think competition is ALL that dressage means. I feel sorry for DiDi, whose confidence in herself seems to be lessened by the discipline, instead of strengthened. My own wish would be to take her back and put on the trails.

I've seen horses who were really flighty, nervous, taken over by "bad" cowboys with spurs and big saddles and all the gear; but they rode forward, and if they were rough, they were also very simple: go or you get a spur; stop or you get the curb. Everything else is left up to them. Some horses just respond to that. I saw one who was sold later to a small boy for gymkhana. The first owner was in shock, said "she'll kill the kid! I gave --- the horse because she's dangerous!" But I've watched that horse, and she and the boy are doing just fine.

Please don't think I'm criticizing! Our environments are so different. And I do know how hard it is to "re-home" a horse, especially one who you're quite sure, no one will understand so well as yourself.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

The clever horses are often difficult because they won't just roll over if they feel they are being told to do something inappropriate. A riding horse I rode regularly a few years ago was like that. William and I would be up in the hills and I'd direct him one way and I'd feel some resistance in him so I'd let him make his way. There were bogs up on those hilltops - he could smell them, I could barely see them. It was safer for both him and me to let him make the choices.
However DiDi has spent most of her life in fenced paddocks, she's not a country girl. I suspect she wonders why humans keep wanting to go round and round in circles.

I don't know if dressage is the only speciliaty that DiDi could excel at. Having watched her take a few coloured fences I suspect she can jump. However the jumpers are mostly concerned with jumping the highest fences in the shortest space of time and to me that game is not good for a horse's legs although it might be good for the rider's ego. So she is not going down that route.

At this stage of my life I am concerned about DiDi's well being over the longer term. If she can win at elementary level of dressage she'll become a valuable horse. What is more she would be a mare who might reproduce a younger version of herself. If you accept that conformation, intelligence and temperament are inherited traits then her foal might be worth waiting for. So my idea is that maybe DiDi has a future by making the most of what she is. Of course it would be best if she were taken on by a wealthy home who have the facilities to look after her.

At the moment we are still at the stage of DiDi learning her trade. The real sadness is that I'm not good enough a rider to be part of the dressage show. 

My major fear is that a 'difficult' horse like DiDi might wind up in the wrong hands. Some so called horsey folks just don't have the patience to get the best out of a sensitive horse. When she eventually leaves my care, she must go to the right owner. 

I have ridden some fantastic horses during my riding career and a couple of those equine companions would be hard acts to follow.


----------



## Beling

So the only options are showing, trails, or breeding? (Where I live, only a small percentage show; a larger group enter team events, like roping or polo; but most of the horses are ridden at home, or at stable facilities, for fun, often taking lessons, but only the younger ones can be forced to show.) One thing to consider: if she is bred, her offspring could well be just as sensitive and intelligent as DiDi. Would that be a problem?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Perchance to dream - Part 2*

Beling, - would a DiDinita be a problem? - No I think not. If I had found DiDi a little sooner in her life - and mine - I don't think DiDi would be the problem she occasionally represents these days. 
I believe our horses learn in their first year from their mother, 
in the second year from the herd of mares and youngstock,
and in the third year onwards from man.
It so happens from the minimal documentation I have of DiDi's past, it would appear that the farmer who bred her died, closely followed by his son who should otherwise have taken over the herd. As a result DiDi was shipped over from Ireland to be sold at a horse market in Wales, as is often the practice adopted by rural Irish farmers. 
As a result she would not have got any stability in her life until she was 5. Seemingly for the first few impressionable years she was neglected and was passed from dealer to dealer. That's most likely when she developed her 'streetwise' instincts. If I were to use a human term to describe DiDi it would be: 'streetwise' - DiDi knows what she wants and has the nack of getting it. 

But as for the foal, any progeny of hers would be looked after from birth. That way we would bring her up under a managed program. Ideally The Countess would be involved but I'd make sure she did not have all her own way with my youngster. 

Over 36 years I have owned personally six horses, each ridden for recreational purposes only. All of them were good looking and none of them lacked sparkle. Intelligent horses are more fun that way. 

Who knows? It could happen!.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

There has been a bit of a lull.
The last competition DiDi did resulted in a 2nd Place rosette but since the day of the event the result have been modifiied - actually she came first.
She is strutting about now, more like a peaock than a mare.

All the practice now is for the area festival competitions. She has already qualified at novice level - we were going to enter her at both novice and elementary now it has been decided for her to stay at novice - for the time being.
Don't forget , she has only been playing this game since Nov 2010.

Now she is the only mare on the yard, she is almost unbearable. She keeps muttering about a new dressage saddle but as I have said to her, she is doing quite well in the one she borrows. I bought her a $50 fly mask the other week - what more does she want?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*DiDi’s prom*

The lull is coming to an end. DiDi is preparing for the area competitions. Despite the opposition she could do well, after all she will be on her home ground. The problem is that there will be a lot of horses at the next test which is one of the hardest ones at Novice level. So in addition to the waving flags, a mass of strange horses, a top level judge and a difficult test, she has decided to make it even harder. She is coming into season, yet again, or so we believe. 

In her latest search for a new way of demonstrating she is the boss of equine and human, she has discovered a new trick.. She runs backwards. Of course, most riders are concerned about developing impulsion forwards whereas DiDi can do it both forwards and backwards. 

The Rider already wears dulled spurs. 
The bit is of a mild French Link type
One dare not ride DiDi carrying a whip, which in any case is forbidden at this level, so all that is left to control this wayward mare are calves and heels and voice. 
In competition and at the other end of the arena one might get away with a whispered: ‘_walk on’ _but a loud “_Get on with it you cussed mare” _is simply not on.

So, to summarise: we could be banned at this next event. 
I can see her being dismissed from the BD club for barging into a £100,00 warnblood.

We talk about: Alpha Mares, Prima Donnas, Dressage Divas, Huzzies. DiDi is all of them.

At times like this I do a little sum of: 600 kilos, @ 200 grams per tin @ 50p per can = £?s


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Well Sunday as arrived. The next thing is to find out whether Madame Prima Donna is in a fit mood to perform today. I'll know within a few minutes of bringing her in from her paddock.
First thing to do will be to check the grass and see how much is yellow and the second to look and work out where the geldings are. 

As I go to slip her head collar on, will she stand still? If she ducks out then I am in for trouble.

Then I'll bring her up into the yard to make her presentable to meet her public. She'll eiher stand still or prance about.

I'll have to make sure I have a pocket of treats otherwise she'll sulk.

The big test though, will be when we get to the competition centre we'll drop the ramp and she be standing there - either calm as a cucumber or as foamed up as a coffee capuccino.

Then will be the time I'd wish I'd worn the steel capped boots.
She'll come down the ramp like a rocket, prancing and snorting - looking around with pricked up ears with her head to the sky.

Its wise to let her look around, then hopefully she'll walk calmly to the back of the truck and allow herself to be tied up. 

At that point we'll have to work out whether to go home or not.
How many horses are in the warm up arena???????? mmmmmmm

I'll let you all know how it works out 

PS If I have to go all through that to get 66% or more, then fine par for the course, what am I moaning about - anything less then my thoughts will drift back to the 200gram cans.


----------



## MHFoundation Quarters

Barry, I very much enjoy reading your posts. Honest & true with a side of sarcasm, much like my favorite folks in real life. 

Good luck today! Hope your Diva dazzles  
Please post pics of her in all her glory. 

On a side note, don't wish you were wearing steel toed boots! We have a family friend who is short a few toes from a mare coming down on his foot wearing them. Crushed and cleanly removed them.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Well Ladies we are home carrying a bright blue rosette saying "2nd" in Open
for 67% in Novice test 35 (2009)
out of 24 entrants

Now she is affiliated I was even given a £10 prize - say 16$

My Girlie didn't put a foot wrong and even got 1x8 in No 9

Judges comments:
"Lovely mare showing some pleasing work - could be a little rounder over the
back at times today"

Now of course she has to do it all over again next Sunday at the Festivals 

She'll be on hormone powder for the rest of the week

No more talk of 200gram cans

Barry G


----------



## thesilverspear

Congrats on your scores.

When I was showing dressage -- and I did it for about six years -- I think I can count on one hand the number of times I got over 65%. I figured if we didn't come last, we'd had a reasonable day. That's why I had a giggle about your worries over getting anything less than 66%. 

I prefer the mountaineering mentality. "We had a good day: we didn't die and we were out on the hill for less than 18 hours."


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver, I reread your last post. You are quite right of course. _ What's the real point to me about DiDi's scores?_ Do I really care about her winning? - not particularly - I don't really understand the marking system anyway.

_Would I have preferred to take her up to the woods - just me and her?_ - of course I would.

_Do I wish I had Joe back?_ - deep down - yes I do. He was a mate - DiDi is a daughter at college.

_Will DiDi ever be a mate?_ No, her temperament is all wrong. She's not safe to ride in a busy rural community. 
_What's wrong?_ - the very sharpness which makes her good at dressage.

_Is she going to make it to the very top at dressage?_ - no , she's not a fashionable breed and she is close coupled. And we suspect there are physical issues we can't do anything about.

Plus there is her unpredictability!

_So what's the point?_ Well, she is safe where she is.
And I don't have to seriously consider giving her up - yet. 

So on we go. DiDi and The Countess are up for it - so I must show my support and help where I can.


----------



## thesilverspear

What I was saying, in kind of a tongue in cheek way, was that there seems to be a lot of pressure on DiDi, and yourselves, to get the high scores. Maybe not. But I feel as if I am reading in between the lines of your posts that DiDi's current lifestyle is dependent on her doing well at shows, that perhaps you will consider selling her or retiring her as a broodmare more seriously should her scores fall. If that's the case, it's a lot of worrying to be doing and the horse probably picks up on that, which might increase her skittishness and unpredictability.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver,
We've picked up that The Countess, even though she is very self confident and capable does transmit her mood, maybe her concern, to DiDi. There is a tone in her voice to me which betrays her mood. The more she does well, the greater the pressure to do well. That's what I don't like about competition involving animals.

It is not that DiDi's scores fall which matters per se but it is an indication that she has reached her optimum level in dressage. Today it is perhaps whether she should stay at Novice or move to Elementary.

However undoubtedly whatever that decision there is an element of hormonal behaviour in DiDi's naughtiness. I am hoping that it will not be necessary to keep her on Regumate.
In all these things, my prime concern is DiDi's well being. 

My Rottie has just been labelled with Cushings, my ageing terrier is bent and bowed like the old woman she is. And we ageing humans have our own health issues. Maybe my mind is distorted by what lies unknown down the road. 
A good point.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Never a dull moment when DiDI is around.*

Well she went and did it today. There she was cantering around the arena with the first ten competitors and suddenly she does a spook sideways by about a yard. All because of a fluttering rosette.

Of course she is in season again. Whilst waiting in the warm up arena she had been a really naughty girl flashing her butt about especially to those 17 hand fancy warmblood geldings.

But there again maybe she had something to say. Out of 21 horses, at Open Novice level in the Petplan competition my girlie scored 71.17% - which wasn't quite good enough to win, because another very expensive horse scored 71.37%. So instead of coming first, for the sake of 0.2% - say 1 mark, DiDi came second. 
But my Girlie will have her revenge next April at the Finals.

PS I didn't like to rub it home to the other competitors that DiDi has only been playing this game since last October. 

As a result of today's result, we are going to skip Novice level and now move up to Elem level. There's another competition at Elem level which she needs one score sheet for - so that is where we are going to dance next.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

I’ve been looking at the photies from the day. There isn’t one ideal photo of The Countess and DiDi. There’s not one to put into a photo frame and we shall have to buy one from the professional.

Through out the reel, DiDi is showing her displeasure. Her ears are up, her posture is aggressive. She’s playing up. She’s miffed. She reckons she is ready, is her rider?

She started off the day with a strop - I wasn’t there but I am told she absolutely refused to trot. At the comp centre we did not leave her for long in the warm up arena. We now know better than to let her get bored.
Eventually she strutted her stuff in the arena and the Countess said she never put a foot wrong. Just as well. According to one judge, who whispered in our ears, that DiDi had deserved to win. 

In the line up after the competition she sticks out like a sore thumb She is the only dapple grey and the only small horse with a big butt. There is nothing warm about this mare’s blood. 

Unfortunately I didn’t catch on film the monster shie she threw when a rosette dropped to the ground. The Countess was indeed lucky to sit it and not hit the ground. She would have been mortified with embarrassment.

When looking at the images in the computer, I suddenly realised that my photos were indeed a true record of DiDi and her day. She had pulled her weight for sure, but she wasn’t happy. I still wonder why. DiDi can be obnoxious, obstreperous, awkward, wayward, difficult but she does the job when she is asked to. I suppose we shall all have to get used to that fact.

Maybe I should put one of today’s photos up on the wall, just so as we all remember what a ***** she can be when she wants to be.

But bless her, she came second. And next time she might win. What can I say?


----------



## bsms

"What can I say?"

Well, when I can't decide if I should hug or choke my temperamental mare, I usually conclude, "At at least she isn't a bore..."


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*A decision has been made*

*A decision has been made
*A major decision was made today_: we shall start to look actively for a new home for DiDi. _
_ 
_The euphoria following the Festival results eventually died down and we started to look forward and make plans. Slowly a certain awareness came over me and my wife. Yes, DiDi and The Countess have qualified for the finals of the Petplan Festival next year but the competition is not to be held until April which is eight months away. We had even planned for DiDi to enter further Petplan events at Elementary Level because DiDi might do even better at Elementary than at Novice level, but does it matter. Long term, the key issue has always been to find the horse a loving, caring, knowledgeable family. DiDi is a complex horse and she calls for a special understanding. If she is to progress in the dressage world for which she obviously has the ability, then she will need a knowledgeable and fully committed young owner/rider.

The issues which have brought the matter to the fore is an awareness of both my and my wife’s ailments. We are well into retirement age and we both have recently developed unresolved health issues which are unlikely to disappear. Neither of us are riding as often as once we did and the stables are eighteen miles away across an expensive toll bridge. Whereas I used to go up to Joe twice a day - I rarely trip across to DiDi more than twice a week. The pills I must take daily interfere with my balance. In reality she is not my horse anymore, she belongs to The Countess - who in truth has made her into the dressage Diva she now is. I have morphed in ‘An Owner’.

The fact is that DiDi is in peak condition. She is muscled up and ready to perform. She is also 11. Next April she will be 12. The clock ticks. Tempus Fugit.

The emotion which was aroused in making this decision cannot be understated. Whilst the horse has been a disappointment to me for my riding purposes, she is a lovable, beautiful creature. She’ll stand alongside me, head to head, taking part in any conversation I care to have, which involves her. OK, some of the time she is hankering after the biscuit which she knows to be in my pocket but it is not all cupboard love. She’ll tolerate my grooming her and my hands running all over her. She expresses affection to me for being one of those humans whom she trusts. She’s been with me now for three and a half years. I know her inside and out. 

Her temperament is undoubtedly modfied by her seasonal hormones but the additives help as does a little understanding of her condition. 

Sorting out the realistic price for her has to be resolved. The advert must be composed.. We have an idea of the sort of person who is likely to be interested in such a horse. We shall have to sift out the dealers, the ignorant, the incompetent and the day dreamers. Selling a horse is not a process I fell comfortable with. The very thought of passing control and ownership of the animal, my animal, tears at my soul. And when finally DiDi has moved on to pastures new, there will be a hole in my life which will never completely disappear. But I must be realistic. The fact is that the horse can easily live longer than either I or my wife. Whilst putting economic issues to one side, it is an undeniable fact that DiDi needs to belong to a younger, active, riding family. 

When I announced my decision to The Countess, slowly but surely the tone of her voice changed. I think she is a little more caring towards my Girlie than she will admit. She will however have full participation in the re-homing process including a positive veto as and when called for. But the facts of the matter are staring us in the face: _we should offer DiDi to another family, preferably before she reaches her peak - which is undeniably now. _
_ 
_Let us see what happens.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Since making the previous post, I looked back to the first post on this thread.

I suppose I ought to say that things have pretty much turned out as I expected they might. The more expertise DiDi acquired in The Countess's world of dressage, the further she drifted away from me. It has taken just on a year -Sep 2010 to Sep 2011, to now reach the stage where I earnestly believe DiDi would be better off over the longer term with a younger horsey family.

Undoubtedly she has the ability to progress further in the dressage world.
I suspect also that she can jump, although personally I would not ask her to.

What keeps coming into my mind is the expression "Be careful what you wish for - it may come true".

If a sale does go through, all I shall have left is some photos pinned up on the wall and a lot of memories. 

But what shall I do with my day?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

DiDi takes a Test
There is little doubt that if DiDi is to be sold on to a new owner, then it is important to work out how we can present her during an inspection demonstration in the best light. Writing an advert is an art in itself. We have no wish to overstate her talents but we know that she is capable of winning dressage competitions at Novice level and we see no reason why in good hands she can not move up to the next level. So we asked a friend who has taken her mare to Grand Prix level to ride her and to comment. We knew the woman to be a gentle but firm and competent rider so we asked her to run a typical dressage test at Novice level. A date was set for the trial. 

Came the day and we prepared DiDi for her test and by the time the rider arrived there she was clean, groomed, tacked up and ready to trot. All the rider had to do was to mount up via the block in the arena. The first few circuits proved to be slow and at the walk so that DiDi had time to warm up. When watching from the edge of the arena DiDi appeared to be a little puzzled. 
“Who is this?” “What is she doing on my back?” I could read DiDi’s mind.
I watched my Girl. She was shaking her head. She was re adjusting herself but there was nothing seriously untoward. 

About ten minutes into the ride DiDi produced a little startle for that is what she is good at. By her standards it was not a full blooded leap off all four feet to the side, it was merely a small jump. Even so the inspecting rider’s boot came out of the stirrup iron and she tilted forwards. She nearly came off and for sure was no way for DiDi to win friends and influence people for the good. 

Nevertheless the rider continued and appeared to be enjoying herself. Certainly she was putting DiDi to the test. However there was not the fluidity that there was when DiDi’s regular rider, The Countess was in the saddle and surprisingly she had no doubt that the visiting rider was more competent and experienced then her. Personally I was not convinced that she was. Eventually I asked how our visitor rated my Girl. She immediately replied that she liked DiDi a lot. She said quite positively that DiDi was certainly a sensitive forward going horse who undoubtedly in the right hands had the ability to do well. She also said that she herself did not know of any local rider who could manage DiDi.

A few days later DiDi was registered to re-do Test 42 at Elementary level. It so happened that on the same day the hunt was to meet in the village. After meeting at the local pub they would pass by the entrance to our stables en masse, followers, hounds, huntsmen & horn.. Of course once the single followers started to pass by on the way to the village our horses started to freak out in their respective paddocks. I had been given DiDi to lunge and thereby let off steam. I managed to make her sweat but in no way did I work off her excitement. Later when the hunt passed by en masse, I was barely managing to hang on to a whirling dervish. 

Eventually we managed to tie DiDi up in the horse box ready for the drive to the competition centre which is just a few miles up the road. DiDi, whilst tied to a restraining hook pranced all the way. We had timed the departure so that she had time to make a few circuits in the warm up arena but as it happened she was to be the first horse to perform. There were some fancy horses on parade which we later discovered were three day eventers ridden by professionals.

Then the judge was late. We stood waiting by the entrance to the arena for ten minutes 

Eventually it was time for DiDi to perform. She was, so The Countess said, strung out on a high. By no means could anyone complain of a lack of impulsion. During the test she refused to halt on a couple of occasions and she looked around, presumably for the hunt, on several occasions. But to my under qualified eye, she looked magnificent when strutting her stuff. We all knew she would be marked down for the disobediences.

As it happened she scored four points more than the 175 she had back last summer for the same test. She had came fourth with a relatively lowly score of 62.17%, Amazing in the circumstances. If she had been calm, maybe she might have won - the winner scored only 66%

When we arrived back home I washed the sweat residues off. I tacked her up with her winter coats. I gave her a couple of pears and a carrot and then led her out to graze the long grass around the edges of the arena. Then I led her into her paddock to cool down for an hour or so before I put her to bed for the night. What a horse! What a day! There is never a dull moment with DiDi.


----------



## DuffyDuck

New to subbing to this thread, and I've enjoyed the reading.

Admittedly I scanned most parts about the flash band, however I use one, and feel that if its used correctly, amongst other equipments, there should be no problem. A horse may open its mouth, to avoid the contact to come round, but then we could say a horse is avoiding the entire bridle, so we should just ride the horse as naked as can be (I'm talking tack, wise, not rider clothing!)

DiDi certainly sounds like quite the character, and somewhat similair to my dad's mare, Josie.
When ridden by a weaker rider, she will test. She has become very, very good at spinning, sliding stops, and leaps to the side. She has never done this with a pure beginner, or an experienced rider who tells her exactly what to do. She has been on every different hormonal powder you could imagine, the vet has checked her, the chiro has checked her, trainer after trainer- its just one of her quirks, and possibly why she didn't make a good carriage horse!

Looking forward to reading more.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

The Day After

Overnight following the competition, DiDi worked herself into a terrible state. She had shown her upset once already in that she fretted badly whilst travelling back from the competition centre to the stable yard. When eventually she walked down the ramp she was lathered up to an extreme. For a horse which normally travels well this was odd behaviour to say the least. That night she trashed her stable; she refused to eat her hay and she did not even touch her pail of hard food.
The question was why and with DiDi the answer can only ever be: ‘Who knows?’

The Countess worried all of the following day and in the evening there was a long telephone call to describe and discuss the events of the day. Together we tried to work out what was to be done. DiDi was simply not interested in food. When she did venture out into her paddock the following day, mostly what she did was to pace up and down the fence line. What could be the problem? Well, we shall never know. She was beginning to look tucked up. Perhaps it was the events of the last few days with the combination of a strange rider; the passing by of the Hunt; the first competition for some time and Herself - a complex, sensitive and highly intuitive mare.

I went up to see her the following day. As I walked down to her paddock she made her way to meet me which was unusual behaviour because normally she made me walk right up to her. We followed the usual routine. I cleaned her legs, I washed her face and I ran my hands over her body to check for abrasions. She was fine. We then went out into the arena for the regular lunge exercising during which she behaved impeccably. It has reached the stage now where just a light pressure on the lunge line, which is clipped to the snaffle bit, serves to instruct her. She’ll slow to a trot, to a walk or to a halt and stand - all without a word spoken. On my part it is just a matter of body posture and a gentle touch on the rein. I kept the session down to a half an hour, after all she had done enough in the days previous to keep her exercised for a week, I wiped her down. I fitted her day rugs and I led her back to her paddock. Of course, she regularly stopped on the way to nibble at the grass which surprisingly for this time of the year is already growing.

Finally we reached her paddock where I gave her the remnants of the pears which are her favourite fruits. I unclipped her head collar and turned her loose. She turned about and slowly walked away to graze. We had done together exactly what she had expected to do. She was calm.

What had the fuss been all about? I shall never know but the odds of my finding another sympathetic owner for this sensitive horse are getting longer by the day. Just where could I find someone to understand this creature? She is so bold, yet at the same time so fragile. Sometimes I fear for her.


----------



## thesilverspear

Welcome to my world. My mare gets it into her head she doesn't like something about a particular stable or location and paces, paces, and paces.


----------



## Northern

God willing, Didi will get the right owners, who will bring her to center so that the "crazies" are history! Barry, I've already suggested that you look in the classical/natural hms neck of the woods for her, for someone who understands horse psychology & looks at all from the horse's viewpoint. Nuno Oliveira would've been good, also Tom Dorrance. 

Godspeed for Didi!

Re: the flash: I've since modified my view on it, because have learnt that some horses feel better in a flash, but NOT one that's strapping the jaw to the head, so that one is riding the head, rather than communicating with the flexible jaw! As long as flash is loose so as to prove proper acceptance of bit & flexible jaw for communication with rider, & the horse just likes the flash for whatever reason(s), then put him in it!


----------



## DuffyDuck

Northern said:


> Re: the flash: I've since modified my view on it, because have learnt that some horses feel better in a flash, but NOT one that's strapping the jaw to the head, so that one is riding the head, rather than communicating with the flexible jaw! As long as flash is loose so as to prove proper acceptance of bit & flexible jaw for communication with rider, & the horse just likes the flash for whatever reason(s), then put him in it!



You mean.. thats not what its for....???!!! Darn, knew I was doing something wrong!

I joke, really. I use a flash. Duffy works better when I have it on, but its never tight, nor loose, its comfortable. As soon as I've dismounted, I undo it, and my crank.. which isn't cranked.. I just liked the bridle xD... and she chomps about and drools all over me.
Sorry about the offtopic!


----------



## DuffyDuck

This is after mine and Duffy's ride.. I has small fingers, so it'd probably be two normal sized fingers if I'm honest! But thought I'd show ;D


----------



## Northern

Great! Now do me a fave & ask her what it is about it that she likes!


----------



## DuffyDuck

Northern said:


> Great! Now do me a fave & ask her what it is about it that she likes!



I did.. she says it came with her bridle and she likes it.. otherwise it'd look silly


----------



## xxBarry Godden

I arrived about half an hour early- DiDi was still in her box. 
Overnight she had trashed it again. 
She had not eaten her breakfast.
The haynet was still half full.
And she stood on the lick box as I said hello to her.
She was having a strop - that's twice in one week.
She was being bad.
She was moving about. She was blocking me. She wouldn't stand still
She was in super hype mode. 

Eventually after a struggle: 
I managed to wash her face of lick.
I brushed her feet of mud
I combed her mane.
I tacked her up with surcingle, bridle and one side rein - loosely fitted.
In the process I had to shout at her - for the first time in months.

We entered the arena for our joust.
After 45 minutes of galloping, cantering, extended trot, medium trot and working trot, and a couple of brief periods of slow walk and, if I remember correctly, 6 halts and stands - including change of reins - finally she stood meekly whilst I released each of the clips. She was not even breathing hard.

Finally she was acting in an acceptable manner. No longer was I the object of her displeasure.
I untacked her. I ran my hands over her body - she was warm but not sweaty
I refitted her day coats (it was a cold day)
I fed her with 2 x pears, 1 x parsnip, three x carrots and a handfull of treats 

We walked together down to her paddock. She lurched at some of the long grasses growing on the track. I removed her head collar. I gave her the last piece of pear. She turned away and wandered off.

What? please! What, was the reason for the furore? I don't know, and that's for sure.

All I do know is that The Countess keeps clear when DiDi is in this mood.
Suddenly DiDi is again _'my cussed mare_' - as if I didn't know.

PS DiDi looks magnificent when she is mad at me.


----------



## Beling

And you're SURE she doesn't have ulcers? Not eating is so abnormal for a horse.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Beling. I have thought of ulcers, colic etc. Oh, she'll eat fresh green grass. She'll eat carrots, parsnips and pears. Her dung is firm. She is not showing any sign of physical distress.

She was tired out by that exercising on the lunge. By the end of an hour she had calmed down. She walked back to her paddock alongside me with no problem. She snatched at the clumps of new grass

But something upset her. And I don't know what.

We are going to increase the hormone additive and see what happens.


----------



## Northern

DuffyDuck said:


> I did.. she says it came with her bridle and she likes it.. otherwise it'd look silly





Barry Godden said:


> ... DiDi looks magnificent when she is mad at me.


We've got a coupla diva mares here, one insisting upon her flash because she thinks it looks good on her, the other spitting fire because she knows that she looks good doing it!:lol:


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*A Whirling Dervish Performs*

Well I was in for a surprise today. When I got to the yard, DiDi was still in her box, the other horses having already been worked and let out. She was fretting at being the only horse left on the stable yard. Her mouth was covered in lick, that is her favourite thing in life and her butt was filthy. Even the head collar had left a dirty brown mark The first thing to do was to clean her up. She fought me all the way with changes of posture, muzzle nudges and the shaking of the head The only thing to do is to shove her mouth full with treat pellets and fight her back She is never malicious, just difficult. But I could see she was in a hyper mood. Something had upset her.

Eventually I had her tacked up in a surcingle ready for a bout of lungeing.
I lunge off a bridle with the lead rein clipped to the ring of the bit. Side reins on each side of the neck run from the rings on the bit down to the hook between her legs on the surcingle. Her nose is not pulled down tight but at least I have some control over her head without having to revert to yanking on the lead rope and thereby jerking the bit in her mouth. The idea is to exert only as much pressure on the bit as I might do when riding her. When she is behaving, only minimal pressure is needed on the bit to ask her to change her pace. To speed up, all I have to do is to flap the end of the lead rein, or raise the crop if I am carrying it.

We reached the arena and I let her go and immediately off she roared at the canter. I turned her and around she circled in a clockwise direction. She kept this pace up for ten minutes without slowing during which time I noticed that the farmer next door was trimming the hedges with the cutter attached to the TPO on the tractor. I asked myself whether I should take her ladyship in but then thought that the noise of the cutter would be good for her to acclimatise to. 

At first whilst the tractor was working a couple of hundred yards away all went OK. I even got her back to trot , be it the fast extended version. I decided to turn her round anti clockwise and amazingly I managed to make her stand. She was listening for the tractor. I quickly swopped the clip of the lead rope over to the ring on the other side of the bit Again, off we went at the canter but this time counter clockwise. Round and round in circles she went at a very brisk canter.

Then suddenly the farmer suddenly changed his mind and he moved back and worked over the area he had already trimmed. However even after ten minutes had passed, he had come no closer to us. 
I decided to swop back to change the rein to clockwise. Again there was no problem during the swop over of the clips. I stroked DiDi’s neck and chatted with her. I told her the tractor would not hurt her. She seemed to listen Then I noticed the tractor was again on its way towards us. And there was now a twin rotor helicopter flying low over head and coming straight for us. I thought to go back to the stable yard but DiDi was still at that moment under control . My talking to her had calmed her down a bit. But the tractor was coming closer and the noise was getting louder.

There we were going round at a gentle canter with the lead rope at full possible stretch. Suddenly something spooked her. She took off from the canter into gallop - not just any gallop but super hype gallop. She was going at full pelt and leaning over 45 degrees towards the centre. I had never seen her move so fast. I thought to shorten the lead rein but I was nervous in case she turned into me. I was holding the metres of lead rope as a counter balance and was trying to make sure that she stayed in the circle. There are no rails around our rectangular arena but there is a substantial drop over the timber edging and down onto the track which runs alongside. In this mood she could have taken the drop easily. I clung on to this whirling dervish of a horse with both hands on the lead rope. To say that I was concerned would be an understatement. Later we found that her feet were penetrating through the upper levels of sands and down to the base liner which separates the sands from the stone base The holes had to be filled in by shovel as the teigns of the harrow did not penetrate that deep. The holes DiDi’s feet had made could have been used to erect fence posts.

Of course I tried everything to slow her down. Eventually I did managed to get her to listen to the bit. She came back down to regular gallop, to canter and eventually to fast trot. I let her run on for a few more circles and then I shortened the reins to a few feet and got her to stand. 
She was heaving. The veins on her stomach were showing. But there was amazingly no sweat. I looked at her. She looked back at me and I could see she was not in distress. I walked up to her and asked her why she had done what she had done. If she had been startled then it was only by the two noises made by the tractor and the helicopter - both of which noises she had heard before.. 

Now I know that actually DiDi is frightened of very little in fact, if anything she is quite aggressive towards many things which she does no understand. She merely pretends to be frightened so that she has an excuse to flip her lid. After all she had been listening to that tractor for fifteen minutes or so before she had spooked,.

But she had certainly frightened me. My heart was pounding. I had had a shot of adrenaline. Being at the centre of a circles whilst 550 kilos of horse charges around just a few feet I front of you gives you some idea as to how Wellington’s infantrymen must have felt when charged by the Polish lancers at Waterloo.

Suddenly I noticed that the tractor was coming back again. This time I took her in, just in case she did it all again. I got back to the yard just in time but all of a sudden DiDi was as calm as could be.

I wondered if this world of training for dressage is not enough for my hyper mare. Maybe she does need to go hunting to work off her adrenaline but it would be a braver man than me who took her.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*The vet comes to call*

DiDi's, bad behaviour of late must have a cause, so we called the vet. A nice, seemingly very confident lady vet arrived. She was obviously a horse owner herself which helped with the conversation which ensued

No, she hasn't got a problem with her ovaries. And 'No' she is not in season. Whether she has a pain issue remains to be seen. So we are going to dose her up with Bute and see if she becomes at ease with herself and more importantly with each of the geldings. The idea is that if pain is eliminated, then her mood will become "sweetness and life". She took her first dose tonight.

As the vet drove away from the the yard I started to think that maybe DiDi's role in later life will be as a brood mare. But then I wondered if she would teach her foal to be like herself. The vet had suggested that the sperm came from a common cob - whereas I had this vision of her meeting up with a Lusitanian Lothario. The vet said "Not a good idea - too much fire"

Oh My, think of it, DiDi & Daughter of DiDi. The world of horses would never be the same again.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Five days into the ‘bute’ test and we have a result. DiDi was today unbelievably calm. 

I worked her on the lunge in the arena and although she showed signs of being tired she worked un believably well for half an hour. I had her walking around, responding to my body movements and posture without a qualm. We did walk, stop, walk/stops all over the place. We also did stands. This routine compared with her normal ‘fire up and shoot off’ behaviour was a complete turnabout.

So maybe she is in pain without the bute, with which she is heavily dosed.

We felt her all over. We could touch her stomach and the only area which she was reluctant to have pulled about was the poll. Maybe that’s where the problem lies - but why?

Then I put her out into a small grass paddock from which normally she will not eat. Down went her head and she munched away. The other horses were over on the other side of the yard and DiDi could not really see them let alone interfere with them. 

It would appear that somewhere DiDi has a source of pain - all we have to do now is find out where.

This morning I got my old calm horse back. I wonder if she is going to stay?


----------



## Rascaholic

Poor Didi and poor Barry. I have read the thread and follow along as I can. I feel for both of you. I so hope you find the source of pain quickly. Thoughts are with you both.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Rascal - thank you for your kind thoughts.

Next Thursday after 12 hours of starvation, DiDi gets another syringeful and an invasive investigation by two vets this time, not one. Maybe one day by a process of elimination we shall find out whether behaviour which we have put down to hormones and personality is in fact caused by her spine. 
Animals - who'd have em?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

This business with DiDi’s moods is beginning to knaw away at me.

When first DiDi came to me, she was quiet and a little nervous of things new. I look back over the notes I made back when we were getting along well together. OK she rushed and there were some startlets but in the main I could cope. DiDi was gentle. The horse I am writing about now can be a very different creature. On some bad days she can be positively dangerous to someone who does not know her.

To date I’ve put the irritability down to either her temperament or her hormones. The idea that there is some root cause from pain is a new concept. OK, it is possible that the fall when she was chased by Danny could have left her with some skeletal problem which might display itself when DiDi is being asked to make a demanding dressage movement which causes her discomfort. I suffer from something similar when I attend the Pilates course. A movement some young agile person might find easy can crucify me when I try to follow it.
I think the time has come to try to find out if there is such a pain issue in DiDi. Otherwise it will remain difficult to see the way through the fog of ‘what ifs’. I suspect we might be embarking on a voyage of discovery which will lead to a determination of her future. Either she can be cured, or she can only be used for very light hacking when she is in the mood or she can’t be ridden at all. Each of these scenarios leads to a conclusion ranging from becoming relegated to being a brood mare to the final needle. That’s a conclusion I do not want even to spell out, in case it comes true. We are in for a series of meetings with vets that’s for sure. Luckily for me DiDi is insured, but I am not so sure it is lucky for DiDi. She is entered for the Pet Plan Nationals in April, and I want to see her perform.

In my life with horses I have said ‘ByeBye’ to two of my own and several horses belonging to friends. Add to that list, six dogs. Making a life or death decision about one’s animal dependent leaves an indelible mark on the psyche. The animal will never die, but will remain for ever in the back of one’s mind. I just hope we can find a good reason for my Girlie’s moods and thereby the curative treatment for her. It was planned for her to say Good-bye to me, rather than the other way around.

Huh, I am getting morbid- it is time I went to bed.


----------



## Beling

I love dressage, but I also find that while it can supple and improve a horse, it can also overstress parts --- like the poll -- and joints. DiDi is such a great performer, it would be very possible that somewhere along the line in her own enthusiasm she strained something; and it didn't heal quite right. . . which would mean she could still return to full soundness; and if not quite, she'd be fine as a broodmare, even married to another hot horse.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Beling, if we do go down the brood mare root, which is possible - then no way will it be with a common cob - my preference would be a Lusitano - or if not an Andalucian from a stud near Jerez. 

I'd want to see a full flashy mane, and a long wavy tail and a wiggly walk.


----------



## trailhorserider

I hope she does well! I know you really love her from all your posts about her.


----------



## thesilverspear

I hope you and the vets can work out what's wrong with her and that it is something fixable. If only they could talk, eh?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver. The bute test is working in that DiDi is suddenly all sweetness and life.
She is back to being the horse I once knew. Everythng is calm, the explosions have stopped. She will lunge on the lead rope at the walk.

So just to prove the point she is a hypochondriac she has now developed a dry cough.

But sh.
e has Weds yet to survive, no bute, no food, box rest all day. If that doesn't make her irritable then I don't know what wlll - except of course what is wrong with her.
Thursday is the day with the vet


----------



## xxBarry Godden

We have just had a family conference. The bute test has shown that DiDi is in sufficient pain for her to stand awkwardly. The bute relieves the pain of standing correctly and allows her to do so. The fact is she may, subject to confirmation, have at some time suffered injury to her pelvic area.

A Bowen test conducted last summer gave some clues, now with the benefit of hindsight, the detailed report we have from the practitioner makes sense.

DiDi will have to be X rayed. It is the only way.

So we have ulcer test, lung test and X ray - good job she is insured.


----------



## trailhorserider

Sorry to hear she is in pain, but the good news is you know that is why she is acting up. So at least you know it is not a behavioral problem and she really does want to be good.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

It is all booked up, DiDi gets taken to the vet's clinic on Thursday for a series of tests at the end of which we ought to have some answers.

She's had the last dose of Bute - now she is going 'cold turkey'.
Tomorrow is her last food at around lunch time.

So then if we are right in our prognosis she'll start to feel pain, she'll get fractious, and she'll be a whirling dervish in the horse box on the way to the vets.

At the vet she'll come out like a rocket only to be led by a veterinary aide to a strange loose box which will stink of 'anguish of horse'.
I have to make up my mind whether to stay and watch helpless. trying not to interfere with a vet doing his/her job.

All I can hope for is that she has an ulcer and nothing like a hair fracture of some bone.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Well Ladies - after a demanding day when mostly we stood around waiting for various overalled ladies rushed hither and thither we eventually got an answer to DiDi's undoubted problem. The junior vets all went thru the motions and DIDI got bless her, responded kindly. EVentually they found a possible cause for discomfort with some early indications of arthritis in a 12 year old horse.

Finally five hours after her arrival on the veterinary hospital premeses along came what is reputed to be one of Britain's experts in ulcers. Three other vets belonging to the same practice had already said that the DiDi's symptoms did not match up with a problem of ulcers. He performed the scoping and was astounded to see that DiDi had a grade 4 ulcer condition - it was a miracle that she had not already suffered from colic.

So, my mare has done well and her occasional bouts of unpredictability have been to do with pain. When the pain gets too bad, she freaks out. Not unreasonably one might say.

I reckon since I have had her she has been seen seven vets. In the end the bute test indicated that something serious was wrong - somewhere. 
Now we know where.

For some reason I feel very angry. Even today we waited what seemed indefinitely for a report - finally at around 6.30 pm we were given an answer.
Yesterday I was even wondering if DiDi would have to be put down - if the symptoms continued and we could not find a curable cause.

The treatment has already started. Let's hope she is on her way to being the placid kindly horse that originally I decided to buy. Apparently the drugs should leave no ill effects but we shall have to keep an eye on her for the future. 

So Ladies, for those of you who suggested 'ulcers' you were right. I should have listened to you and not the vets.

As for suspected pain in your horse, consider that bute test - it might give you a clue. And, always repeat always, query why your horse is not behaving typically - they usually have a good reason.


----------



## pintophile

Barry, I must say, I like to hear that. Not that she's in pain - that's not good, but the fact that you've figured out why she acts the way she does, and are working to fix it. I know how much you wanted a quiet 'gentleman's horse', and maybe Didi will be ready for that when she's done treatment.

What do you think you'll do with her? How long does the treatment take?

Will you continue her dressage career, even if she does turn out to be the horse you wanted when you bought her?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Well Pinto - you asked - here it is:*

One is often asked: What is DiDi’s role in life - well it is to be a 
Gentleman’s Riding Horse - no more - no less and herewith is what that means:


A GENTLEMAN’S RIDING HORSE

The single term “hacking” definitely does not convey “ that the horse should :
“Go anywhere its rider asks: at any pace over any terrain alone or in company“, 

The phrase, Gentleman’s Riding Horse” actually means much, much more. 

The full description might read:

The horse should: readily respond to all of the rider’s instructions. 
and to actively pass: over highway, along a road, a lane, a path, or a track
at: ground level or along the top of a ridge, thru wood or open countryside
at any pace: walk: active or extended; rhythmic or fast
trot: medium or extended
canter: collected or extended
gallop : fast or flat out
on any surface ie : tarmac, grass, stoney path, cobble stones or rock,
through: puddle, flood water or wadeable stream
alone or in company of: other riders of every ability from novice to expert;
at the front of the line, in the middle of the line or at the end of the line
amongst: pedestrians, cars, motor cycles, push bikes, lorries, tractors
under: birds, kites, balloons, aircraft or helicopters
in: wind and rain or thunderstorm
despite: plastic bags, umbrellas, road signs, footballs 
in the presence of: barking & aggressive dogs, goats, pigs, donkeys & mules

The horse must stand on the kerb, awaiting instruction to cross a busy and fast arterial road.
It must pass over a narrow bridge across a motorway
It must pass through a tunnel laid underneath a motorway 
It should hold its line of march down a high street or a country lane with passing places
It must wait upon command at traffic lights or other stops signs.
It must stand attentively whilst its rider converses with passers by
It should move forward and move backwards to permit the opening of field gates
It should never ever, whirl or bolt in fright, in fear or as an evasion.
It should hop over ditches, streams and fallen trees.
It must submit to being tied to a hitching point without resistance whilst patiently awaiting its master.
It must stand to be mounted. It must ride on or off the bit. 

If the rider loses his/her balance, it must pick up the shift of weight and compensate.
The riders job is to set the route, 

The horse’s job is to carry safely both itself & rider over the terrain, whatsoever that may prove to be.
If asked to trot, then the horse should trot, uphill or downhill until asked to change the pace.
If asked to halt, the horse should come to a halt and then stand awaiting it’s master’s pleasure.
Never should the horse evade the bit nor jerk the reins from the rider’s hands.
If the reins are dropped onto the horse’s neck and no further instruction is given, then the horse
should make its way at the walk back to the stable by the shortest route.

Under no circumstance must the horse, balk, rear, buck or swerve for any reason except in circumstances when the horse might realize that the way ahead is unsafe for example in land prone to bogs.
Neither should it show any signs of aggression towards humans unless to protect itself from unwarranted aggression 
Neither should the horse snatch succulent plants from the hedgerow however tempting.

'Amen'

But as you might have guessed, such horses are not easy to find.
But if DiDi were not so skittish, and I believe deep down she has a sense of responsibility towards her rider
then maybe she could make the grade.

As for dressage is concerned , well she can go as far as the judges will let her - as long as she is not terrified of the arena in front of a large crowd.

Barry G


----------



## cakemom

I'm so glad to hear you have isolated her issue and can work now steadily towards her goal of well being


----------



## Skipsfirstspike

Barry.. This is big news. I remember when you stated that DiDi would in fact Not continue to be 'your' riding horse, but to be exclusively a dressage diva.
Does this diagnosis mean she may once again carry You over the countryside? If so, you must be very excited!


----------



## bsms

It is upsetting to hear what you have gone thru, but it sounds like you are now trotting down the right path. My own experience with my skittish mare has me following this thread regularly. With Mia, it seems to have been largely a training issue - she had never had much, although she was sold as 'good for a beginner'.

In Nov, the trainer told me Mia might never be safe to ride. The next day, the clue bird dropped a load on her, and she thought she had a way ahead. Today, she joined my daughter-in-law & me in riding all 3 horses together in our little arena. She now thinks Mia is ready to start riding off property next week. Mia is a LONG way from being a "Gentleman’s Riding Horse". Maybe she will never be.

But once the 'root cause' was identified, the progress has been steady.

I hope and pray Didi will also be able to make progress. For her to do as well as she did for as long as she did with such a problem indicates she is an exceptionally well-intentioned mare. Your love of horses is palpable. You both deserve to be able to enjoy each other!


----------



## thesilverspear

Like I said elsewhere, you may be kicking yourself for not getting it diagnosed earlier, but hindsight is 20/20 and you now have a way forward that may well mean that you can happily ride your mare. I've seen horses really turn around after being treated for ulcers.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Folks, thank you for all your good wishes - suddenly a load has been lifted off my shoulders and tentative thoughts of euthanasia have been washed down the drain. We are progressing now to the Pet Plan dressage finals in APril - that's the game plan.

As for her becoming a Gentleman's Riding Horse - well the ulcer vet says her temperament will revert to what once it was - a confident, steady ride. We shall see. I merely want to see her free from pain - the rest is all perhaps a bonus. The vet says with the drugs , she should show significant improvement even within a few weeks.

In the meantime her supplements should be Probiotic Yoghurt (strawberry flavour), corn oil not rape oil, sugar lumps for after taking the medication, and regular work to get her fit. She is not to put on weight.

A side benefit is that her dry 'cough' for which we have never found a cause is probably associated with the ulcers.

Now all that remains is for the 'forecasted' to become 'actual' 

I shall keep everyone advised of her progress.

Barry G


----------



## Rascaholic

This made me smile, on a very bad day. I hope the potential lives up to the actual, just as I think it will once Didi is "cured." Please follow up on the pelvic check. My Rascal has his set of problems rooted there.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Rascal, I take the point. Is she is standing incorrectly then logic might suggest to look at the pelvis but in order to eliminate the other potential problem areas then first we have to work on them and try to remove them from the equation. 

At the moment I am waiting to see the look on her face when I first serve her yoghurt - does she want it fed by the spoonful, off my hand or sprinkled over her cornflakes. And will strawberry flavoured be acceptable?

I can't believe I am writing this. Yet, 'Lord Forbid', someone has already suggested I put her in foal to bring an extenson of her into this life to further taunt man.


----------



## Beling

Go DiDi go!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*The risk of colic rears its nasty head.*

Once I had been told the fundamental reason why DiDi was in trouble, I thought we were on or way to normality until last night DiDi trashed the broad electric tape which surrounds and divides her paddock. Today she has been standing by the gate neither eating nor drinking. The reason is now obvious, she is again in pain from the ulcers. The Bute she had been given for the Bute Test has finally left her system and now she has no barrier to the pains generated by the ulcers. The Gastrogard will in due course form a protective barrier over the ulcers but the medication will not cure them and giving her more of the pain killing Bute would make the ulcers worse.

It becomes obvious that as a result of the pain, DiDi might react again as she has done against the electric tape dividers and thereby hurt herself or worse, by not eating she may develop colic. Merely to take the Gastrogard and to wait for it to take effect will call for her to tolerate her pain for several days. Indeed the vet has already said once that he has been surprised that she had not already suffered an attack of colic. 

So we called the vet again. A couple days ago he had stipulated that the dosing her with Bute must cease immediately. Now he sees, as we do, that DiDi must get relief for the pain or we risk her death from indirect causes. There are seemingly for horses no other pain killers which will not attack the ulcers. As a result for two weeks there can be no pharmaceutical relief for her pain other than through the steady progress of the Gastrogard and a carefully balanced diet including corn oil and probiotic yoghurt - that is if she agrees to eat her food.

We discussed the matter by phone and finally the vet agreed that Phenyl Butazone is the only answer. The benefit of pain reduction outweighs the risks of the side effects. It has been decided that as a maximum DiDi can have five days of pain respite to allow the Gastrogard to do its work. But as a result during those five days, the Bute will attack the ulcers. We are between the Devil and the deep blue sea. She must eat or the naturally forming hydrochloric acid will attack the lining of her stomach and cause more ulcers and inevitably colic. 

I had thought we were making progress. Now I realise that we are far from being clear of the wood. The big risk now is indeed colic or self inflicted harm as a result of unbearable pain. I am beginning to wonder if she will survive the next two weeks.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*A pain free day*

It has been a revealing day. I received thru the post the vet’s report on the endoscopy. There staring me in the face are four photos of DiDi’s stomach. The detail of the photos mean nothing - they are just savage red raw photographs of an internal organ - accompanied by a report written in medical gobbledy ****. All I know is that without her Bute DiDi reverts to being psychotic and she will roar around her paddock. Her condition is obviously painful and there is presently a severe risk that she will self harm when in pain.

The report gives no clue to a cause and doesn’t promise either a cure, nor a way forward for the long term. The words did not tell me anything I did not already not know in plain English. All I have come to realize is that my 525 kilo mare is vulnerable. I must take care of her because without my protection she is at risk. Presently she is very vulnerable to colic. 

My problem of course is that she has not yet learned to speak English even though she is now twelve. If she could only speak then maybe she could tell me what was wrong, when it went wrong and if it is still wrong. Some idiot once said I must learn her language but so far I have not found a Horse to English dictionary. So we have to speak to each other in sign language.

Today she was put out in the paddock early. When I arrived on the yard she was munching away at the new spring grass. She looked up and as I entered her field she walked over to nudge at my pocket. She knew that’s where the treats are kept. I gave her a carrot so she nudged me again. At least she is eating.

We exchanged pleasantries and I asked if she felt better. As if I didn’t know. I could see that she was relaxed and calm. I stroked her neck and all was still and felt warm. As I did so I slipped the head collar over her head. Immediately she peered down at me. I did the clip up and turned around to walk back to the gate. I was planning to wash her face, give her a brush down and then let her eat the long grasses by the track. As I went to walk back to the gate she raised her poll to the sky and resisted. I stopped pulling and asked her gently to walk on. Then I tugged slightly on the lead rope to reinforce my request, to which she instantly refused. I turned round and told her in soft gentle but plain English what I was planning to do. She just looked at me then suddenly she again stuck her snout in my pocket She wanted another carrot. So I gave her one.

I‘d got the message. She was relaxed. She was not in pain. She was eating the grass. The sun was shining. The other horses were all out in their paddocks to keep her company. She didn’t want to play with me. She wanted to be with her own kind. It was promising to be her first pain free day in several days. Who knows? I don‘t have a pain meter by which to check. So I took off the head collar and I turned and walked away. 

She’d made her point. Who was I to argue? She will need to build her strength for when the pain killer Danillon is withdrawn on Friday. But I haven’t told her about that - yet.


----------



## Walkamile

Barry, I am so sorry that your DiDi is facing such health issues. I have no words of wisdom, only those of well wishing and will keep her as well as you in my thoughts and prayers. 

I'm glad you let your girl enjoy her paddock, sunshine and horse friends. She doesn't know what awaits in a few day, but you do. You did what was best for her today. 

Keep us posted on her condition, we're here for you both.


----------



## Lis

There is an alternative to bute you might want to try. I think it's called Danalon or something along those lines but it is supposed to be easier on the stomach than bute. It may be worth talking to your vet about it so DiDi may have some relief.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Lis you are correct - Danilon is what they have given for the next few days.

Thanks for your tip

Barry


----------



## Northern

I find your listening to DiDi & doing the generous thing by allowing her to remain where she was content to be heartening, Barry!

Here's hoping that you'll again listen to DiDi when she shows you that she doesn't want to go back into modern "dressage" competition!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Northern , I've no doubt DiDi will find a way to tell me what she wants


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Who'se got the whip hand now?*

As many of you might know, sometimes I poke my nose in the other forums. Over there will be some youngster fresh to the world of horses who is puzzled by the newly experienced problems presented by the four legged, five hundred kilo, wilful equine standing before her and which she is supposed to manage. I read a first post on a new thread, I look at the profile of the author and I jump in with a few carefully chosen words of worldly wisdom. I should have learned by now that angels jump in where wise men fear to tread - or something like that. Later I read back what I have written. Just how can I put over the concept that no human ever can really reach into the far corners of the mind of an intelligent horse?

How can I put across to a youngster and just why it is so necessary to keep trying? After all some paid by the hour riding instructor will have already shown the novice how to use a crop, a heel and a pair of hands linked to a bit carefully designed to inflict pain. 

Even by responding I may have jumped over three or even four generations; I may have travelled over the Big Pond and crossed the six foot high, four foot wide, three foot deep boundary between male and female thinking. I have genuinely tried to pass on the little snippets which I have picked as to how to deal with a horse. And then eventually I have come back to my own forum threads and realized just how difficult it is for me with all these years of experience and wisdom to see through the deceptions of my own pet horse. 

She has been fooling me every day since she clapped her eyes on me some four years ago. And she managed without saying a word. She succeeded by gesture, by body language, by rejection, by a slight disobedience, by keeping her distance. Sometimes she showed her deception just by looking at me and pricking her ears up towards the sky.

For months I have been suspecting my mare of having hormonal problems. I have accused her of being an alpha mare. I have called her: “cussed, “spookey“, “sharp”, “sensitive”, “intelligent“. In fact whilst she may indeed be one or more of these descriptions I had missed the key ingredient in her make up. She has been in pain and she has been too proud to show it. She did not want to show weakness She would rather bide her time and freak out when she knew I was not looking on. 

When the stomach acid washed over the open ulcer, she would have had whinced. The raw flesh will have burned when exposed to the hydrochloric acid. No doubt she was already tense from pain when that day the tractor had made a scarey noise.
She was already irritable when the rider’s heel pressed in to her sore flank and by a few split seconds she had missed the aid.
OK, she didn’t quite have a spring in her step when she passed by letter P. She was hurting.
She came to a halt four square but a hind leg dropped just a second too soon. 
And yes, she did find the journey to the competition in the box uncomfortable. After all, she had been wedged up against the wall, everything was crowing in on her and she had not known where she was going. She was in pain from the raw ulcers in her belly. 

Came the day when the true cause came to light, it was the result of a small camera being pushed deep down her throat. We were looking for the blood, the sores, the wounds in the lining of her stomach. OK she was a little dozy from the anaesthetic but she could still feel the stainless steel probe. And when the day after we cut off the Bute she didn’t know that we well knew it was going to hurt. We humans just needed to see if it really did hurt, like we suspected it might.

Today I saw a different side of her. She’s got me on the run. She knows now I know her secret. She is vulnerable and she is frightened of the pain in her belly. I have learned that I must not make assumptions When in future she says: “No, not today please.” I must take note. Maybe she has a good reason. She can’t talk, it is for me to work out what she is trying to say. I must listen. I must give her the benefit of the doubt.

My Oh My - DiDi’s got the whip hand now. Just how could I explain all this to a novice?


----------



## Northern

Simply repeat what you've already said here, or shorten it to: Horses can't verbalize to explain what may be bothering them, so we must never assume that they're just being naughty when they refuse a directive, but instead must listen to them, to understand what might be wrong.


----------



## Walkamile

Barry Godden said:


> Today I saw a different side of her. She’s got me on the run. She knows now I know her secret. She is vulnerable and she is frightened of the pain in her belly. I have learned that I must not make assumptions When in future she says: “No, not today please.” I must take note. Maybe she has a good reason. She can’t talk, it is for me to work out what she is trying to say. I must listen. I must give her the benefit of the doubt.
> 
> My Oh My - DiDi’s got the whip hand now. Just how could I explain all this to a novice?


I don't think it's possible to explain to a novice. Experience is just that, and the novice must develop that for themselves. Enlightenment comes partly from experience and partly from the desire to want to understand.

I , like you, know that if my girl T's behavior changes even slightly, there is a reason. She like your DiDi is a stoic mare and it takes a watchful, intimately acquainted eye to discern what the cause may be. At the moment, my girl is bravely dealing with an ever diminishing sense of sight. If you did not know her well, you would not even notice. She puts on a convincing bravado, but I can see right through it. She knows I will keep her safe, she trusts me and I feel honored to have been deemed worthy.

Your DiDi is very fortunate to have you looking out for her Barry. Imagine what the scenario would be without you advocating for her.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

It looks as though the genie will be coming out of DiDi's bottle next week.

Tonight DiDi's Danilon is cut back by half for a few days, then she goes cold turkey
altogether. If she remains calm that means the Gastrogard is working - if she flips her lid and freaks out then that means she has another hidden problem.

Then were we to resume with the Bute and she then behaved herself, that would indicate that she is a junkie on Bute or Danilon or whatever brand you use.

But her needing Bute - like real need - means that she would be barred from affiliated dressage. So what would she do to earn her keep then, I wonder?

But at least we are moving along the track. By the look of it there's a rail terminus coming up with lots of points to cross and as yet we can't be sure which
platform we are going to wind up on. The only line we want to wind up on is one which doesn't call for Bute. If she needs Bute to smother her pains, then we shall have to rethink her future. And that could prove to be a soul searching exercise.


----------



## Beling

There are different opinions concerning Bute. I'm with you, I'd hate to have to give it forever. But my vet doesn't consider it harmful, no more than aspirin. It used to be used for humans, but caused damage to--I don't remember, liver or something.

Anyway, he's seen horses on bute for years without any problem. Something to keep in mind.


----------



## thesilverspear

Beling, the problem is that this horse has been diagnosed with severe ulcers and I have yet to read anything that says NSAIDs *aren't* harmful to the stomach lining. 

While I too have seen horses living quite happily on a daily maintenance dose of bute to manage arthritis or some other known chronic condition, I would not be happy (and I don't think Barry is) masking pain when you don't know what's causing it.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver, she comes off _all_ pain killers as of Tuesday morning. She'll be Bute/Danilon free by Weddesday night.

The theory is that the ulcer meds should by then have kicked in and there should be nothing left to cause her pain. We shall see.

In the meantime, with Bute still running in her veins she is today frolicking around her paddock like a two year old.
Tomorrow I put her thru a few little tests to test her mood. 

After her next endoscope at the end of the month maybe we check with steroids her lower neck for arthritis - there is a small hint of early arthritis on an xray although the vet doubts if it is a big problem and anyway the steroids should hold it back.

The biggest concern remains the possiblity of an ongoing need for bute - it would render DiDi ineligible for affiliated competition.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

So, I put her to the test today. She's got residues and a packet of Danilon in her veins to keep her calm before Wednesday she gets her last packet full of Bute. As I speak she has both the Gastrogard and the Danilon surging around making her life pain free.

OK so she was a little full of herself but deep down she was as gentle as a lamb. We walked and trotted and stood together. We rubbed noses. She did a little trot, we crossed over the poles and we dodged the plastic buckets. She was a very good girl.

Now she has to do it all again on Thursday - next time without the joy juice.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

I've never really believed in competing on a horse's back. Somehow the idea of putting the horse thru stress and strain for my aggrandisement seems wrong. If I want a medal or rosette then maybe I should be the one jumping the fences. If I want a medal for dancing, then I should be dancing.

What is important to me is that my horse is not in pain through my own lack of insight or negligence. If out of all this testing and dosing she appears to be free of pain then I have done my bit. Whether she goes back to the finals of the PetPlan competition is of lesser relevance. Her having a rosette doesn't make an iota of difference to her, why should I think it might?

I am coming round to the idea slowly but surely is that maybe I should turn her out for the summer on a hillside with other horses. This morning I phoned a friend who has a hillside and a herd of horses. Would she be happy up there I wonder amongst the hoy-poloi? The other horses are all Welshies whereas she is Irish.

We are running out of time for the competition and she doesn't have a saddle that fits properly - or so I am told. Maybe that's a sign. 

First thing tomorrow is whether she a happy bunny off the Danilon????


----------



## thesilverspear

Perhaps some time off just being a horse will do her some good. It's not a bad idea at all.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Well, when I got to the yard, DiDi was already out in her paddock. She'd been a bit naughty - earlier she'd charged thru the electric tape dividing her field from the access pathway. When she is wearing her day rug - then she wouldn't feel an electric shock. Anyway she is not frightened of a silly green tape. 

But she hadn't had any Danolin/Bute for 36 hours and if there was pain to feel from any source including the ulcers then she would feel it.

I collected her. I washed her face from 'lick dribble'. I washed her head from where she had rolled. I cleaned her feet, her legs and her butt. Then I tacked her up in lunge gear. Not a murmour came from her. I led her out to the training arena, and she followed like a lamb.

I attached the long rein and off she went - at the walk. No explosive lurching - all that was necessary was just a low voiced instruction from me : "Walk on".
We circled and trotted; we walked and halted. We stood We changed the rein. We did cantering in both directions. Then we did long lining off one line.
She behaved immaculately. She was quite, she was gentle, she was responsive, she was obedient. 
This was my old original mare; the one I bought almost four years ago.

Does this mean that I have at last discovered why she has been such a *****?
Does this mean she is going to be a good girl in future?
Is this going to be an affectionate horse after all she had licked my fingers?

Well, next step will be to see the latest internal photos in a couple of weeks time. 
Maybe she will get to go to the Petplan finals after all or is she just deceiving me and suckering me to forgive her...??? No, I don't think so. Today I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. 
We all agreed she was being good.

As I put her back in her paddock and removed her head collar, she stood beside me instead of running off. OK, I know she was checking to make sure the last few treats in my pocket were given to her. She was also making sure she had been given the last of the apple. But I sensed for once that she was saying 'thank you' for finding out what had been wrong. Maybe the Gastrogard is working after all. 

I stood talking to her and then finally I walked back to the yard. In the meantime she had wandered off to meet her mates. I looked back, she was relaxed and nibbling at the grass. A good omen, I pray.


----------



## Skipsfirstspike

I am glad DiDi had a good day, Barry, and I hope it continues. Cheers!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

This morning , she has been a little subdued. Maybe the Bute has finally left her system. But at least she did not trash the electric fence when first let out.

Now it is all up to the Gastrogard. I wonder if it is as effective as the label on the packaging? We shall see. At least she is eating well, although she is not putting on weight as might be expected from the level of feed she is getting and the fresh green grass.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

It has been six days since I reported in. Bute/Danilon is out of DiDi's system.
SHe's got the Gastrogard and the PH adjuster going into her daily but there's no painkiller as such.
She is due to go to the vets for second scope this week. We shall seen then if there has been any improvement in her ulcers.

What is very noticeable is that she is lethargic and subdued. She has lost her sparkle. I have played with her on the lunge, but there has been nothing too stressful. I am even hesitant to canter her. We've been playing join up and lead work - I stop, she stops; I raise the lead rope, she changes up a gear; sharp turns, with me on the inside and her on the outside and vica versa.

Then there are the poles, we cross them together. We even kick them.
And of course, there are juicy pears to eat. 

She's living out now 24/7. She just comes in to work and/or play but nothing too strenuous. There just a few weeks before the Nationals, if she doesn't liven up for them, there will be no point in taking her.

But the big issue are the photos later this week. Nothing else is of real importance other than : " Is she getting better?".


----------



## xxBarry Godden

It has been a thought provoking week. Tomorrow is the big day when we travel to see the vet. If ever there could be a stress provoking episode, then sticking a camera up a horse's nose and down her neck must be at the top of the list. But we must learn whether the medication is working. 

DiDi herself is lethargic - almost stopped still in the water. However when I gave her a bath yesterday she got very angry. Still, she needed the wash and it was soon over. I gave her an extra pear afterwards.

There will be more questions but in my mind the die is cast for DiDi. My feeling is that she is to be retired either by putting her out in a big field or by becoming a brood mare. But there are three of us yet to make that decision.

As for modern dressage, well I am beginning to form an opinion on the merits of trying to make a short necked cross breed cold blood perform like and walk like a specially bred modern warmblood. But who is to say anything without more knowledge.

On we go, in the saga.


----------



## thesilverspear

In fairness, the first goal of dressage should be relaxation. If the horse finds dressaging around an arena (I don't mean showing and all the faff that entails; just schooling at home) stressful, then you're doing something wrong and you haven't established that key element that is really at the very foundation of dressage. 

It sounds as if DiDi may have had ulcers long before you ever had her, so while showing probably didn't help, it probably didn't cause it, either. 

She may not need to be retired; just started again, nice and slow.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver,
In all truth we do not know the date of the onset of the ulcers - the vet has said they are not new. But when actually did they arrive and from what cause?

The teaching for competition dressage has been the remit of 'The Countess' and certainly is not within my capability or even my choice.
Maybe she has gone too fast. '
Maybe a 10-11 year old horse should not have been put 'into an outline' so as to change her way of walking.
Maybe by moving her to a new environment 18 months ago, and to witness a coming and going of horses upset DiDi.

Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe.

What I may have in a couple of months is a skittish horse, prone to ulcers which cannot be identified without a very stressful and expensive investigation.

If I still lived in a house with 11 acres of pasture and 4 stables, as once I did, maybe I'd have more options. But those days are long gone.

Even this lovely SPring weather does not bring a smile to my face.

B G


----------



## xxBarry Godden

We all spent the morning at the vet's surgery. We stood and watched the screen whilst the camera went up DiDi's nose and eventually, for all to see, the ulcers have almost gone. Amazing. Good news......almost.

During the inspection, mucous came down her nose in dollops. There's an all pervading cloudy white slime which shouldn't be there. Subsequent tests confirm it is not DOCP - it resembles something else, which should not be there. It would account for her occasional dry 'smokers' cough.
It would also match up with DiDi's recent lethargy.

So we are off up a new alley - more medication; 2 weeks trial then perhaps back to the vets. We are beginning to know our way around the site.

If DiDi could only talk, then maybe we could get to the point quicker.

Back at the yard, DiDi was anxious to get to her paddock. She was hungry.
She dragged me down the track and made off as soon as I opened the gate.
Luckily horses don't have a vivid imagination.


----------



## Northern

Barry Godden said:


> Maybe a 10-11 year old horse should not have been put 'into an outline' so as to change her way of walking...


One may quite confidently scratch out a "maybe" on that one.


----------



## MakeYourMark

This thread is beautifully entertaining.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Is there something else?*

Yesterday I went to work DiDi in hand. To give her some entertainment if for no other reason. I lightly groomed her and took her out into the arena so that we could play together. Nothing seriously energetic was planned.

I asked her to trot around and she did . After a few turns one way, I turned her around and warmed her up - but at her pace. It was very apparent very quickly that she wasn't up to much and to even think of asking her to canter would be hard on her. But as she slowed, so I asked her to keep the pace of working trot.. 

Then she coughed - not once, but in total five times. I stopped. I went over and changed the long lungeing line for a short lead line. There was to be no more work, even though it was a nice sunny day. This horse was not my forward going mare.

Her demeanour was gentle. She made no resistance to anything - even the dreaded poles laying on the gound. We walked over to them, over them and around them. There was no fuss from her about the poles - for the first time ever. 

Then I walked her around the arena at her pace a couple of time. We stopped and looked around at the other horses. We did a few halts, a couple of tight turns, she followed me at my shoulder like a good girl. 
Then I took her in, I put her day coat back on, I cut up and gave her two pears. I lead her back to her pasture. 

Once unclipped she mosied off to eat more grass but she can't have much because she is on steroids - and they can provoke laminitis. The grass is rich green, she likes it but it is dangerous for her. Luckily her field has been eaten down by one of the other horses. Her feet are being checked twice a day.

This persistent lethargy in her is becoming worrying. A few weeks ago I had a hyper neurotic mare, now I have a tired out pussy cat. As we discoverd at the surgery the period of hyper activity was most likely a result of the ulcers - which have all now gone - thanks to the Gastrogard What we have now is something else bugging her and the vet thinks it might be her lungs. But it is unlikely it is copd

We shall wait to see. Another trip to the surgery is planned this time to check her lungs. The results of the tests on the mucous samples have not been advised as yet.

Why Oh Why is she such a worry?
Just how long has she suffered from these over lapping conditions?


----------



## Northern

Poor, poor Puddy Tat!


----------



## Beling

Unfortunately medications themselves can cause complications. So you just work on the worst (the ulcers) and as she comes off the meds, everyhing should improve.

That DiDi has an appetite is a good thing!

I think you're doing right by giving her gentle exercise, and things to interest her. At times like this I like to do hands-on stuff too, the Tellington-Jones Ttouch. . . seems silly but, as she said when she came here, "It can't hurt." And it does make ME feel better.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Today when handling her, it felt as though we had gone back to square one.

She was aggressive - completely the opposite of the other day. As she came up the track she kicked out wither her hind legs and landed on one gelding and she made a move at another fancy warmblood but she missed. Just as well, they were both the landlady's favourites.

As I groomed her she fidgeted. Then when the needles with the steriods were jabbed into her butt, she never made a move. Odd. But it was one of those days. Keep clear: 'DiDi is having a strop' - even though the images said the ulcers have gone - or have they come back? 

Or is it the steroids?
Or is it because we are watching her diet because of the combination risk of laminitis and steriods ???? Who knows? I have lost count.

I admit I was at a loss as to what to do with her. I don't think she knew herself. All we can do is follow the plan, that is that on the 23rd, when her lungs are checked - until then she has the benefit of the doubt.

I am worried I might have to move her - but that won't solve anything. 

Eventually I took her back to the pastures. I finally put her in one up in the corner. Up there should be no fights over the fence - unless of course she decides to go through the fence, which she has done before.

She's not in season - she's just grouchy. The vet says not to work her.

We cancelled the Nationals today - she's not fit to be seen in public. 
But why, why, why ????????

With episodes like today I can see why in the old days they would have beaten her - not that it would have made any difference to her behaviour. 

She's got two more weeks of steroids. I am crossing my fingers.


----------



## Skipsfirstspike

Barry, why might you have to move her?
I am sorry you had to cancel the Nationals, but it sounds like a break is what she needs right now. It must be frustrating to not know what is wrong, or how to help her.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

SFS
If the lung problem turns out to be an incurable infectious herpes virus, then the barn owner will want her off the yard.
equally
If the aggression towards a very valuable warmblood gelding does not abate then again there will be pressure to move her - especially if DiD's hind feet manage to connect. Thankfully she is not steel shod on the hind feet.

DiDi is teetering on the brink of fate.


----------



## Ladytrails

Barry, is there any news on Didi's ulcers and what you are planning for her future?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Lady T
Tomorrow -Friday - goes for a check up of ulcers and lungs.
It will be a big day for her and us.

Of course I shall keep everyone posted.

Tomorrow was the day she was going to the Petplan Nationals for dressage -
now it is a visit to the doctors.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Finding ulcers in DiDi gave a clue as to why from time to time she might explode - presumably something will have happened to stir up the hydrochloric acid in her gut. The Gastrogard treatment - at first examination - is beleived to have worked its magic. The question is whether with the cessation of the GGard medication the ulcers have reappeared.

The bigger question now is her cough which has been ignored for either being a reaction to pollen or a clearance of the throat prior to exercise. There was never signs of mucous until the horse's head dropped as a result of sedation in preparation for the scope. 
A sample of the mucous has been sent off for further examination. 

The ulcers can be coped with, the cough might represent something more serious.

When I look back over my notes I can now see that DiDi had ample health reasons to be irritable and/or explosive, yet to a third party with no knowledge of her condition she looked, and still looks, fine. Even the junior vets said so. 

Two questions need to be answered: 
Have the ulcers returned? 
and 
What is the likely cause for the coughing?

With clear answers we can plan for the future. 

The more I learn about horses, the more I realise I have more to learn.


----------



## Rascaholic

Please give Didi a hug for me when she is more herself, or at least accepting of affection. Then give yourself one as well. 

I hope Didi isn't contagious! Moving her seems to be something that would be horrible for her mind, and the ulcer situation, not to mention the contagion aspect. 

I almost am afraid to ask, but if she is contagious, will this scrap the possibility of a future as a broodmare?


----------



## dirtroadangel

Good luck Barry with Didi. It's smazing how many things can go wrong. I didn't know ahorse could get Copd... How ? Is it second hand smoke?
It sounds like Didi is in very capable hands.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Rascal
Thankfully, we have no reason to believe she is contagious.

As a brood mare, the bigger question is who do we know, whom we trust, is breeding at this time? But there is no hurry.

The moving has yet to be considered although it is unlikely she will compete in dressage in the near future. If eventually we decide to move her, it will be back to the livery yard close by from whence she was moved originally. She would know the premises and many of the horses,


----------



## Rascaholic

Barry Godden said:


> Rascal
> Thankfully, we have no reason to believe she is contagious.
> 
> As a brood mare, the bigger question is who do we know, whom we trust, is breeding at this time? But there is no hurry.
> 
> The moving has yet to be considered although it is unlikely she will compete in dressage in the near future. If eventually we decide to move her, it will be back to the livery yard close by from whence she was moved originally. She would know the premises and many of the horses,


See it's threads like these that make my day  You obviously have Didi's best interest at heart. And more obviously you are thinking each step and aspect of Didi's future. I think this type thread is one of the reasons I love this forum best. We have good people on here. Please still give Didi and yourself a huge hug :hug:


----------



## Ladytrails

Barry Godden said:


> When I look back over my notes I can now see that DiDi had ample health reasons to be irritable and/or explosive, yet to a third party with no knowledge of her condition she looked, and still looks, fine. Even the junior vets said so.
> 
> The more I learn about horses, the more I realise I have more to learn.


Isn't this the truth, though, for all of us? We don't know what we don't know...and the little clues left along the way seem so insignificant at the time and are overlooked. Hoping that Friday's examination shows great progress and healing!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

I have learned of late that:

A human's interaction with another human is clouded by the words given in response and those replies might sometimes be misleading as to the truth.

A human's interaction with a horse will never be answered in deceiving words because horses can't speak - so they cannot deceive when replying but they can easily be misunderstood.


----------



## Ladytrails

This is very true. I use a lot of words (so I am told) but am not always successful in conveying my meaning (so I find). With my horses, the more I learn, the more I realize I have misunderstood in the past. Those little "ah ha!" moments where you finally understand what was going on at a certain time in the past, but you didn't realize it at the time. 

What you say is very true. Fortunately, most horses are very forgiving of us.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Well as we arrived at the vets bright and early I was in a depressed mood. DiDi was to be subjected to yet more tests and I was wondering where they would all lead to. She was a little subdued although she had an excuse in that she had been starved for twelve hours ready for the Xray.

Eventually after the tests had been completed, the vet came out and immediately I asked him whether the news was good or bad. He smiled and said that there was nothing that was life threatening for DiDi. The key test had been to look into the lungs and, yes, whilst there were a couple of small lesions on her lungs, they were nothing to worry about. Yes she had traces of a herpes virus but so did most horses to some degree or another.

There were signs that she had suffered some more stress but the Gastrogard would take care of it. We sat in front of a computer screen for half an hour and the vet explained as best as he could what he had found.
I asked: what was to be done and the vet said: - *‘go put her out in a secure field of grass for a few months, let her ulcers heal and stop worrying about the lungs*‘. 
If she did start to cough too often then come back for some anti-biotic. 

He made a further comment that the practice had in house criteria for a horse warranting euthanasia and DiDi would not figure on the list. OK, there may be some unresolved health issues but finding them would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. If she was off colour on one day or another then don’t get too worked up about it. 

Likewise if DiDi did from time to time fly off in a panic, then sit it out. He said that back in the old days he had even heard of sparkey horses being given anti depressants. 

The big discovery had been the ulcers which were horrendous. As long as DiDi’s management was adjusted to minimize stress, there was no reason way they should reappear. Additionally the steroids for the lung issue could be dropped forthwith as they may not be beneficial.

OK, so she doesn’t always stand properly and maybe that was a result of her fall a couple of years ago. So what! As long as her movement is not 
irregular and so long as she doe not show signs of lameness then she will do fine. The horse is twelve years old, the owner can expect some ‘defects’. So, manage them.

I said to the vet: ‘*the more we know about horses, the more we realize how much there is to know‘*.
He laughed and said : ‘*Join the club*‘.

She’ll not now be competing at dressage in the future. All pressure will be taken off her. And if every now and again she is a little crabbie in her attitude then I’ll put it down to her being a mare or the possibility that the moon has turned blue.

At least I still have a horse. This episode highlights to me that there are times when I have to look at her and make decisions, even if I do not have either the full information or the complete knowledge. As her owner that's my role in her life.


----------



## dirtroadangel

Best of Luck.. Barry 
I hope I didn't come across too flipant in an earlier post..
Doing the right thing is never easy. 
I can't imagine what your going thru... 
But I do wish you the best.
Macho`s 4ever mama


I
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Northern

Please do keep us posted, Barry, of how her spell at pasture is going!


----------



## dirtroadangel

Didi is soo beautiful. Could we see more pics of her?
Barry your description of everything is so superb... Yes I finally Read all the posts I felt liked I was there watching Didi..
You must have a few best sellers in circulation
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Angel, Such a kind reply to a post deserves a response to a request_._
_Thank you for your comments._

_














_


_Following the visit to the vets, there are some serious questions to be considered and answered about where we go from here with my Girlie. _
_It will take a week or two to make some decisions._

_What pleases me most is that, according to a very knowledgable vet there is nothing seriously wrong with her. There is even a possibility_
_that after a few months of lazing in the Summer sun, she might relax a bit. _

_B G_
_
PS As for the book, well from time to time I have a thought of approaching a publisher but the market for horsey books is a restricted one. The publishing houses who specialise in stories about horses
seem to be going through a hard time as a result of stiff competition from e-books. In the meantime it gives me pleasure to write for the Hforum._


----------



## dirtroadangel

You both look good. 
LONG LIVE DI DI
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Beling

I agree, DiDi is BEAUTIFUL.
As for publishers, suggest they take a quick look at this forum. I'd love to have a book--a real book, with pictures-- by you in my library.

Best of luck!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Ladies - if you haven't found it yet, look up my earlier thread entitled:

"JOE the wonder horse" back in the Famous Horses Forum.

It is all about my previous horse a rather cussed cob named Joe.

Same rider, same writer, different horse but a loveable one all the same

Barry G


----------



## xxBarry Godden

The thing about writing about horses is that the author has to know the nature of the reader. We who own and play with horses have a completely different view about the horse than someone who just sees them in fields or maybe on film. We owners know what special creatures they are.

Then there is the problem of jargon- we use a lot of it in the horse world. Words in every day use by us such as: trot, jog, canter, gallop have a special meaning - to the outsiders they are just words. 

The biggest problem for a writer is the distribution - horsey books are sold through tack shops and feed stores not necessarily through book shops.

Then there is the problem of becoming known as a writer- most of the articles in magazines are written by successful sportsmen - where as writers like me are unknowns - indeed some of what we think and write is heresy to the professionals. 

Anna Sewell‘s writing we might judge today to be a child‘s book but as we know the story told about Black Beauty is only too true..

I think the attitudes of private horse owners is much neglected. We see the horse as a companion - the professionals still see them as tools of the trade. The two viewpoints towards horses are poles apart.

I have had an emotional relationship with many of the horses in my life. The farmer thinks I am mad. To him a horse is meat. How do I reach out to him?

I don’t know if in my lifetime I’ll ever find a publisher - but you never know. In the meantime, whilst waiting to be discovered, I write - pretty much every day. Waiting on the shelves at home are three books about Joe and at least three about DiDi. Maybe one day you’ll get to read them.

Please keep reading Your readership keeps me going, even when the story grows sad.
On the day last week when DiDi was to due to take part in the Petplan National championships in Gloucestershire, she was in a horse hospital having her lungs checked by a vet in case she had EPMF - which would have led to her being put down. Nevertheless she had to go to hospital - just in case. As it happens what she has got, she can live with. Isn’t that all that matters? 

Isn't the saddest day when we know and feel that our horse is ill, we don't know what is wrong? And aren't vets incredibly expensive.

And then the vet looking at DiDi admitted to me that: "_*The more he learned about horses, the more he realised how much he had to learn*_". 

That sentence for me is the sentence of the month. It is a sad fact.

B G.


----------



## MHFoundation Quarters

Wow Barry, I've not read this thread in a bit, so sorry to hear of DiDi's troubles. Hopefully she will be back to her diva self in no time! 

I do have one question though, how old is she? I'm curious because I've got my first grey to watch the process from birth. I adore the steely color phase that DiDi is in. If only we could stop the process at that point!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

MFH - she was about 10 when that photo was taken. 
Her face obviously is left unshielded from the sun - which will bleach the colour around the head. Her body is beginning to go more silvery as against dark but she will not fade to (white) grey as do some dapple greys.

Also she has been clipped of late and I am convinced that her breed was bred to grow hair for protection against the Atlantic storms. For a type of cold blooded cob she has remarkably little feather -even her mane is rather sparse.

This year, she will most likely be left out without a top coat for shelter against the elements. It will be interesting to see what colour she becomes. Noticeably her coat doesn't seem to grow like the other horses which we have on the yard. 

Regardless of her exact colour, she is a pretty thing however it is her temperament which really make her different.

B G


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*DiDi is stressed out*

I found out today what sacrifice means. DiDi is ill, she needs time to recover. She needs to learn to be a horse again. Her ulcers must heal Maybe with time she’ll calm down.

The ulcers with which she was infested affected a part of the stomach over which diet has no influence. She was not starved into ulcers, rather she was stressed out. I have always known that she is driven by her head. She is very sharp. She has a high sense of self preserving which would have made her an ideal dominant mare in a wild herd of horses. Where she was born, was indeed a wild area of Ireland. Strangely that sensitivity makes her responsive for dressage work although I suspect the training leading up to a competitive performance plays upon her fears.

A friend of mine who owns land in a beautiful green valley of Southern England has a problem. She needs a companion horse for her ageing gelding. The pony who presently keeps him company is approaching the end . If another horse is not found then Wishy, for that is the gelding’s name, will have to be moved on and he will react badly to any change at his age. So maybe his needs and DiDi’s needs go together. She needs time to rest and heal; he needs some companionship. The idea is to bring them together. The grass will be green and lush - perhaps too lush.

The problem for me is that the beautiful, green silent valley lies 149 miles away. L shall have to say good bye to her for six months or maybe more, apart, of course, for the occasional visit. But she will get a complete and very necessary change of environment. The offer won’t be repeated. If I don’t accept on DiDi’s behalf then the offer will be withdrawn So I ought to accept for her sake. After all, for her it will be like going on retreat.

But if she goes then I shall miss her. Will she miss me?


----------



## Skipsfirstspike

I say do it, take the offer. Complete vacation for DiDi. Yes, I am sure you will miss her very much. 
And as for what I understand about DiDi... she will miss the pears!


----------



## dirtroadangel

Barry Godden said:


> *DiDi is stressed out*
> 
> I found out today what sacrifice means. DiDi is ill, she needs time to recover. She needs to learn to be a horse again. Her ulcers must heal Maybe with time she’ll calm down.
> 
> The ulcers with which she was infested affected a part of the stomach over which diet has no influence. She was not starved into ulcers, rather she was stressed out. I have always known that she is driven by her head. She is very sharp. She has a high sense of self preserving which would have made her an ideal dominant mare in a wild herd of horses. Where she was born, was indeed a wild area of Ireland. Strangely that sensitivity makes her responsive for dressage work although I suspect the training leading up to a competitive performance plays upon her fears.
> 
> A friend of mine who owns land in a beautiful green valley of Southern England has a problem. She needs a companion horse for her ageing gelding. The pony who presently keeps him company is approaching the end . If another horse is not found then Wishy, for that is the gelding’s name, will have to be moved on and he will react badly to any change at his age. So maybe his needs and DiDi’s needs go together. She needs time to rest and heal; he needs some companionship. The idea is to bring them together. The grass will be green and lush - perhaps too lush.
> 
> The problem for me is that the beautiful, green silent valley lies 149 miles away. L shall have to say good bye to her for six months or maybe more, apart, of course, for the occasional visit. But she will get a complete and very necessary change of environment. The offer won’t be repeated. If I don’t accept on DiDi’s behalf then the offer will be withdrawn So I ought to accept for her sake. After all, for her it will be like going on retreat.
> 
> But if she goes then I shall miss her. Will she miss me?


I'm sure she will.... There is nothing closer? Moving is stressful for a horse...
As for your up and coming potential book. Horse stories are big over here..War Horse The Black, Hildago.
I've got it "Didi Takes on The western Frontier". Or "an Irish Lass in Cow Country" You could have fun with that one.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## dirtroadangel

dirtroadangel said:


> I'm sure she will.... There is nothing closer? Moving is stressful for a horse...
> As for your up and coming potential book. Horse stories are big over here..War Horse The Black, Hildago.
> I've got it "Didi Takes on The western Frontier". Or "an Irish Lass in Cow Country" You could have fun with that one.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


150 miles is a long trip.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## dirtroadangel

dirtroadangel said:


> 150 miles is a long trip.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Oops an English lass in cow country
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*DiDi might be going on a sabbatical*

It has been a bad day. It started to come home to me that within a week or so my pretty mare could be almost 140 miles away. First I need to clarify some details of the arrangement with my friends. 

I started to think of how I could deliver her safely to my friends who own a rather plush pad in an area of outstanding natural beauty in the Home Counties of England. Their house is located at the head of a valley which is surrounded by wooded hills. It is all green - vibrant green. 

The property is exclusive, it is quiet (apart from the songs of the birds) and it is private. I have spent many a happy hour inside the house. Years ago I used to go there visiting my stuntman mate on a beautiful palomino named Puddy. Thn he and I would take to the trails in the hills. 
For a long time a tiny eleven hand tinker’s pony, which I bought by mistake along with a tinker’s cart, used to live on these same premises. To summarize, this property is familiar territory. It is filled with old memories.

There is one problem. I now live in almost as pretty an area scenicly but it is located over towards the west coast of Britain where it is just as green but only because it rains more often. Undoubtedly a spell living over here will be good for my mare and she’ll be in the safe hands of old friends, who are all horsey. If I name dropped them, you readers might not believe me. 

But DiDi will be grazing miles away.

So I am checking out the details, one of which is to choose a transport contractor whom I can trust to drive her carefully along Britain’s crowded highways. So I made some phone calls and I was fine until a woman answered the phone and I asked for a quote. She asked me to describe the horse. Then it came home to me what I was doing.

Have you ever seen a grown man, an older grown man pucker his lip?
Have you heard a male voice break and go croaky?
Well it is embarrassing - to say the least. But it still happens.
Don’t ask me why I react this way but I do. Perhaps it is because I am old. 

The only thing that would hurt more is if the Xrays of her lungs taken at the vets had shown some severe lesions but I have seen them and they don’t. She has a dry cough but it is spasmodic. It won’t restrict her. She will just clear her throat from time to time, usually when she is nervous about something.

As for the ulcers, well they have almost all gone and I saw the confirmatory photos. But they must heal which takes time The rest of her will have to do. There are to be no more investigations for the time being.

All she needs is some carefree rest. Now, maybe, she will get it.


----------



## Northernstar

Yes, I think she'll miss you, and you her, which will make visits so precious. How unselfish you are. It sounds that she'll be happy, healthy, and well cared for should you decide. I won't pretend for a moment that I wouldn't be equally as torn as you, because I remember feeling choked up in the evenings while my horse was boarded only 25 miles away before we brought her home.....
And yes, I have seen a grown man pucker his lip and voice go croaky - that would be my tall, outdoorsman husband who cried over my beloved house rabbit a few years back as if it were his own flesh and blood child. I think a man who can show emotion for something he loves dearly is truly to be admired. The very best to you in this decision


----------



## dirtroadangel

Barry Godden said:


> It has been a bad day. It started to come home to me that within a week or so my pretty mare could be almost 140 miles away. First I need to clarify some details of the arrangement with my friends. I
> 
> I started to think of how I could deliver her safely to my friends who own a rather plush pad in an area of outstanding natural beauty in the Home Counties of England. Their house is located at the head of a valley which is surrounded by wooded hills. It is all green - vibrant green.
> 
> The property is exclusive, it is quiet (apart from the songs of the birds) and it is private. I have spent many a happy hour inside the house. Years ago I used to go there visiting my stuntman mate on a beautiful palomino named Puddy. Thn he and I would take to the trails in the hills.
> For a long time a tiny eleven hand tinker’s pony, which I bought by mistake along with a tinker’s cart, used to live on these same premises. To summarize, this property is familiar territory. It is filled with old memories.
> 
> There is one problem. I now live in almost as pretty an area scenicly but it is located over towards the west coast of Britain where it is just as green but only because it rains more often. Undoubtedly a spell living over here will be good for my mare and she’ll be in the safe hands of old friends, who are all horsey. If I name dropped them, you readers might not believe me.
> 
> But DiDi will be grazing miles away.
> 
> So I am checking out the details, one of which is to choose a transport contractor whom I can trust to drive her carefully along Britain’s crowded highways. So I made some phone calls and I was fine until a woman answered the phone and I asked for a quote. She asked me to describe the horse. Then it came home to me what I was doing.
> 
> Have you ever seen a grown man, an older grown man pucker his lip?
> Have you heard a male voice break and go croaky?
> Well it is embarrassing - to say the least. But it still happens.
> Don’t ask me why I react this way but I do. Perhaps it is because I am old.
> 
> The only thing that would hurt more is if the Xrays of her lungs taken at the vets had shown some severe lesions but I have seen them and they don’t. She has a dry cough but it is spasmodic. It won’t restrict her. She will just clear her throat from time to time, usually when she is nervous about something.
> 
> As for the ulcers, well they have almost all gone and I saw the confirmatory photos. But they must heal which takes time The rest of her will have to do. There are to be no more investigations for the time being.
> 
> All she needs is some carefree rest. Now, maybe, she will get it.[/UOTE]
> Darn it Barry she's doing good why venture for something more ...
> You are her best friend ....
> Save an ol' sap keep her company at your place....
> Long live DiDi
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ladytrails

Barry, I agree with Northernstar's comments. My 7-year old gelding, which I've raised from a foal, is now about 150 miles away at training, going on the third week. My pastures have 5 other equines but there is no exuberant greeting at the gate and I miss his enthusiasm for whatever he might be doing with me. I trust he is in good hands, as it's taken me 3 years to find these trainers. My biggest worry is that they won't have the eagle eye for whatever signs and symptoms might be new, or different, with him which could be early signals of another bout of ulcers or another swelling of an old tendon injury. 

With that, I would say that you should choose a place for DiDi that gives her a daily 'eagle eye' of an experienced horseman or horsewoman, who would quickly learn what is 'normal' and what is not, for DiDi. That will give you the most peace of mind, wherever she is. 

Best regards, Barry, as you wrestle with this decision. You shouldn't feel that she needs to go to the 'perfect' place; she needs to go to a 'good enough to perfectly heal' place where you are comfortable with the skills and commitment of those who are to be your eyes.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Today she was up in the front paddock. 
The rain was being blown about by a strong wind.
I had to approach her carefully.
From the way she was standing, I could see she was in panic mode.
She was ready to whirl and to run.
I had to soothe her and quickly. 
It took voice, hands, fingers, close presence.
I could feel she was about to explode. 
She was trembling with fright.

Then I got in real close. 
Her head came down onto my shoulder.
I could feel her relax. 
I stroked her neck.
Slowly her panic subsided.
I fed her a pear and some carrots.
She became calm again.

And it was all over a woman hanging onto an umbrella whilst walking her dog in the wind and the rain.


----------



## dirtroadangel

Barry Godden said:


> Today she was up in the front paddock.
> The rain was being blown about by a strong wind.
> I had to approach her carefully.
> From the way she was standing, I could see she was in panic mode.
> She was ready to whirl and to run.
> I had to soothe her and quickly.
> It took voice, hands, fingers, close presence.
> I could feel she was about to explode.
> She was trembling with fright.
> 
> Then I got in real close.
> Her head came down onto my shoulder.
> I could feel her relax.
> I stroked her neck.
> Slowly her panic subsided.
> I fed her a pear and some carrots.
> She became calm again.
> 
> And it was all over a woman hanging onto an umbrella whilst walking her dog in the wind and the rain.


That was beautiful Barry. Hope all is well...
You're a good daddy....
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## xxBarry Godden

When I was a kid, my Dad told me not to get caught up with fast women

He never told me about pretty mares.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

When I was a kid, my Dad told me not to get caught up with fast women

He never told me about pretty mares.


----------



## Beling

Now you're making ME teary.


----------



## Northern

Barry, I vote for next door! She could freak out in her luxurious place 150 miles away, without you to calm her down! She calms down in your presence, & her moments of needing a calming presence are not going to vanish, due to her innate qualities. She could also founder on too much lush grass, which, with her build, is very possible! She could get hung up on a tree, run through a fence, with no one to find her for hours! The long trip in itself is not what I'd put her through at this time: she could colic on the way, or aggravate her ulcers!

What's better about the luxe place anyway, than your nice next door arrangement with tough Welshies as her companions? Why take away the relationship between the two of you, if next door'd be fine?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Northern, you have an uncanny knack in being able to point out the weaknesses in some of my ways of thinking. In this instance what you are saying is my biggest fear about sending DiDi off.

Over the longer term DiDi is undoubtedly safer with my friends who are as has been said experienced horse people In the short term she has to renegotiate her place with two fresh horses and with two key humans.

I admit there is a risk in sending her 150 miles away, but at the same time there are some longterm benefits for her. And I shall be able to retain a watching eye over her be it from a distance.

But the final decision as to what to do, will not be made until Friday.


----------



## dirtroadangel

Beling said:


> Now you're making ME teary.


I was still a lil asleep..
What teared you up the fast women or the pretty mares.
Long Live DiDi
Stay tuned for Friday.
Whatever you do 
for your pretty filly. Am sure you will make the right decision Barry. Good Luck
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## bsms

It is the HORSES that are supposed to be faster...


----------



## xxBarry Godden

BSMS. Magnificent! 

except perhaps:

'slower horses, older women, mature wine and enough money.'

Plus a few other things, the delights of which I have long forgotten.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Folks, my day, my mind, my thinking is dominated by the question of what best to do about DiDi. In theory we have made a plan but constantly I am asking myself whether what we have planned for her is the best for her - as against what would suit me the best.

Meanwhile I find I cannot write about her. The whole issue is all too painful.
In the meantime please be patient. In due course I'll give you chapter and verse as to how things work out.

Barry G


----------



## thesilverspear

I'm still slightly confused. Why can't DiDi go on holiday closer to home? She's a horse. So long as she has a big, grassy field and horsey friends, she'll be happy. If it is this stressful to send her to the other end of the country, surely there are other options nearby.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver, It's complicated but if you look up EMPF - and then add in the risk of repeat ulceration - you'll see why I want her to go somewhere to someone who
has the right facilities and the knowledge and the temperament.

If you could see her today repeatedly coughing, you'd understand my concerns.

And for EMPF there is no cure - just a steady decline.

B G


----------



## bsms

Article on EMPF


----------



## thesilverspear

Yes, my Googling found that site and a few others. It wasn't clear from Barry's earlier posts in the thread that DiDi was conclusively diagnosed with this. Either way, I'm sure he'll find the best solution for her. I'm just saying, there could well be options closer.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver,
DiDi's two afflictions - a history of severe ulceration and EMPF - effectively mean that her future is constricted to being retired perhaps as a companion horse. Coincidentally my horsey friend, who owns a fully equipped equestrian property currently needs a companion for her own retired horse. 

One of the problems with EMPF is that the common symptom which DiDi herself displays is a repetitive dry cough. Some days there is nothing to be heard, on other days, such as today, the coughing comes on in bouts. There's no mucous - just a dry 'smokers' cough. On DIY livery yards such as my neighbour's, horses with coughs are not welcome in case they be seen to be a source of infection for other horses. This one significant issue of coughing makes my taking DiDi back to that yard inappropriate, even though EMPF is not seen to be infectious. The lung condition is associated with Equine Herpes Virus 5 - which lies dormant in some horses.

I now have the offer at an affordable cost to place DiDi on my friend's yard where she will be safe and constantly supervised by the staff. I can't personally offer DiDi better conditions even if I could find, local to where I live, suitable fenced and watered land for short term renting. Neither do I have a companion horse for her.

As the vet has said, DiDi needs some time to recuperate. Time is needed to see whether the ulcers heal and the lung condition stabilises. EMPF is a newly recognised condition and any prognosis is not necessarily accurate.

Six summer months of supervised rest and recuperation, put out on clean grassland, gives DiDi that chance to stabilise. The die is cast. It is up to DiDi. There is nowhere else viable to go. On a sports yard, a very different decision based on simple economics might already have been made by the professionals. 

The next hurdle is to get her safely through the 140 mile journey to the green verdant valley.

B G


----------



## MHFoundation Quarters

Barry, I'm struggling to come up with the right words. So sorry to hear this. 

I hope she has a safe, uneventful trip to her new green pasture. I will keep you both in my prayers.


----------



## Ladytrails

Barry, DiDi is fortunate to have you as her advocate and friend. Here's wishing that her vacation and tincture of time will restore her health....


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*EMPF an implacable enemy.*

The plan was to drive DiDi the 140 miles over to my friends pad on Thursday and there was pressure for me to confirm the booking with the horse transport contractor. My thinking was to get her to her new pad as soon as possible. but a bout of coughing was already making me rethink. I decided to let the driver make the decision as to whether he felt he could cope in case of an emergency. He had confidently agreed to accept the job but of course he did not know the horse. We made plans for the route. Subsequently I drove over to the vet to collect the ulcer medicine which would be needed n the coming months. Finally I drove home with a lot on my mind.

As it happened there wasn’t to be much sleep for me that night. The rain came pouring down adding yet more water to the floods already raging across Western England. Britain’s archaic road network which was laid down by the Romans and the pack horse drovers of Medieval times does not cope with modern levels of traffic on good days let alone those when Mother Nature interferes with snow, ice, hot sunshine or heavy rain. The thought of taking DiDi 140 miles in the wet when road blocks are to be expected because of localised flooding was weighing heavily upon me. Yes, DiDi has been driven thirty or so miles to competition but to get to the Home Counties would take three to four hours including some stops. If she were to stumble and fall or freak out during the journey then we might find ourselves in a layby miles from safety. .Another complication was that the driver of the hired transport was unknown to me. I decided to review the situation in the morning.

When I awoke and as soon as was acceptable I phoned the yard to check on DiDi. Again, because of the storm, she had slept overnight in her stable. She seemed a bit better but she was still coughing. The lanes around the stable yard were partially flooded because of the rain and more wet weather was forecasted. It would be only fair to the transporter to tell him of my fears about travelling. I phoned my friend who was to give long term shelter to DiDi but she had already left for the day. The Countess would not be able to make the journey with us because she had a long standing hospital appointment Once on the list, if she were to forgo her booking then it might be months before she was offered another appointment. The British NHS might be free at point of delivery but delay in treatment is endemic in the system. It would be unfair to ask her to cancel. But the result was that the Countess’s expertise which might be invaluable on the journey were something to go wrong would not be available to us. 

I felt that the omens were stacking up against us. So finally after much soul searching I cancelled the move. The risk of an incident were too high. I accepted that DiDi would have to stay where she was until she had almost stopped coughing and until the spell of wet and windy weather had passed over. There was no other option open to me. Finally it came home to me that without my friend’s help with the private and safe grazing I had no other alternatives. DiDi would have to stay where she was for the time being. The question loomed: for how long?

I realised that having cancelled the journey should have to explain to my friend clearly and in detail the exact nature of EMPF and that it is a progressive lung disease with no known cure. It is only the rate of progression in a horse which is the variable. Roughing her off was to reduce stress and so help to prolong her life however now my plan for DiDi to enjoy a long .lazy hot summer in idyllic surroundings might be mere star gazing on my part

The scenario had changed, yet again. I was running out of options. Even if I got DiDi over to my friend’s property then there would be no coming home for her Hopefully she would get an extra lease of good life but for how long? No one would know the answer.

I decided to phone the vet that had originally vetted DiDi when I bought her to ask him for a second opinion. Over the phone I explained the circumstances as best as I could He listened quietly and eventually said that things did not look good. Since a couple of separate ailments were involved, the best treatment for one malaise might impact on the other health issue(s). The lung issue was the fundamental matter, and whilst the ulcers could to a certain extent be managed, the cough might induce stress on the horse and react with the ulcers. He felt that unless I could guarantee to the horse a stress and pain free life it would be wrong to perpetuate that life. Not enough was currently known about the cause and development of EMPF. Steroids were a partial treatment for relief of the symptoms but they come with side effects and the increased risk of laminitis.. The only known medication was an horrendously expensive tablet, which itself did not always work. His final words on the subject in a calm voice were that in his opinion the likely best course of action in the circumstances would be to put her down. 

Despite my every twist and turn in order to find a solution the inevitable was looming. My delightful, clever, pretty dapple grey mare was approaching her nemesis. The virus was winning.


----------



## Ladytrails

Oh, Barry..... What a sad time for you as you grapple with these decisions. I will keep you and DiDi in my prayers.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Today was to be the day she was to travel 140 miles to my friends property for a sabbatical of rest and recuperation. When I reached the yard DiDi immediately came over to me. Now whether this was a token of affection, or a realisation that she would be doing something, or whether it was because she knew there would be some pears in my pocket - who knows? 

_"Where's my pear?"_ So OK I gave her a bite. Then I led her back to the hitching area to give her a groom. Instantly I felt the need to fight with her.
There was to be no lethargy today and there wasn't. She was standing badly, she didn't want to be touched, she fidgeted, there was a dull look in her eye and even though double tied she worked to evade the brushes. I could not get near her hind quarters on the right hand side. She was fractious in the extreme.
Of course with persistence and patience, I managed to give her a light grooming. I swopped over one of her day rugs. I washed her face, I combed her tail. But the only time she enjoyed the grooming was when I washed her face and rubbed it dry with a towel. Throughout the process I slipped her a feed pellet treat which she snatched at and so in an attempt to calm her down I chopped up a juicy pear. Slobber, slobber, slobber she went. But one pear did not improve her mood.

Eventually she was tidy again and I decided to lead her in hand to nibble on some young fresh grass which I know she enjoys. But it was tricky to keep control of her. I should have used the knotted training halter rather than a simple head collar. She tugged, I pulled but I believe she got some pleasure from the grass. Finally I put her back into her paddock. During the whole process I counted six dry coarse coughs but apparently she had been coughing before I arrived.

If I had planned to lunge her,which of course I had not, then she would have flipped and fought me. That was her mood. No way was she lethargic.

The question came to my mind, - say we had not cancelled the drive and we had set out - what would have been the result? I had to admit that we would have been lucky to complete the 3.5 - 4 hour drive without incident. She would have been kicking the bulk heads and waving her head about for sure. It was just as well I had cancelled the drive. The coughing alone made the journey problematical.

Amazingly my friend has confirmed her willingness to take her - even if she remains an irritable mare. But first I have to get her over there. The decision has been made to give DiDi the very expensive medication for EMPF for a two week trial - so long as the insurance company will approve. We await their decision.

So everything is back on hold. DiDi has got a further reprieve of three weeks. She is a fighter if nothing else.


----------



## MHFoundation Quarters

Keeping my fingers crossed Barry.


----------



## Jake and Dai

My thoughts and prayers are with you and DiDi.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

The recent spring storms have brought wind and rain making the ground locally wet and soggy. DiDi would be best out nibbling at fresh green grass rather than in a stable eating hay but leaving her out in the rain would make her cold. At least in the stable she has some shelter from the wind. 

The fact is however that she is slowly but surely coughing more. Recently her coughing is coming in spasms. Her flanks are feeling taught to the touch. You can feel her trembling.

We wait for some positive news from the vet that permission has been given to treat her with a miracle cure but seemingly we wait in vain. There has been no news over the weekend. 

What is very apparent though is that without some signficnt improvement we cannot put her in a horse box and move her any length of distance. It is said that for a horse, a mile spent travelling in a horse box is equivalent to a mile spent walking.

Lady Luck is not going along DiDi's way. Unless the expensive medication which the vet might give her works wonders, then I can't see what we can do to help DiDi. I don't like to admit the fact, but I am beginning to despair.


----------



## cakemom

Barry you bring me to tears. I never post bc I simply don't have words but I read every post about your beautiful girl. I'm praying for that miracle drug.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Beling

I never thought I could care so much for a horse I'd never seen. But there you go, I too am in despair.

The trouble with loving is losing. I've gone through this with my own horses, it will never get easier. But deciding whether/when to put a horse down is the last kindness we can do for our friends.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Sad Times*

This is a strange period of inactivity. In the UK despite the grim wet weather, the spring holiday weekend brings everything to a halt including the veterinary practice. We await authorisation from the insurance company to use a magic pill which will slow the progress of DiDi’s disease - however it is very expensive medication and they may not agree to pay. The full six week treatment would cost more that DiDi is valued at. However I suspect the vets are keen to try the medication out to see if it works, since they won’t have many EMPF patients on their books. But we all know that lesions on the lungs don’t heal.

A horse is what it represents to humans because of three fundamental attributes: 
- the horse can be trained by man to be ridden and controlled; 
the horse is incredibly powerful in its hind quarters, 
and the horse has a massive set of lungs which give it the ability to run. 
If any of these attributes break down then it becomes unfit for man’s purposes. 

We have all heard of the expression ’no feet, no horse’ - in a sense we might just a well say: ’no lungs, no horse’. A horse which coughs should not be worked as the act of repeatedly coughing brings on distress. DiDi is coughing more and more, yet all she is doing is walking around her paddock or standing in the corner of her field in the shelter of the tall hedgerow. On other occasions she will have a ‘freak out’ and run around the field which presumably is when she is feeling some form of distress. 
One day she shows lethargy, the next day she will have bursts of hyper activity and be fractious.

With hindsight, it was this very pattern of behaviour, be it to a lesser extent, which started us out on this journey of discovery and despair. The unexpected ulcer infestation accounted for some of the odd patterns of behaviour but the mood swings must be associated with the lung condition, unless there is some other ailment lurking about we have not yet discovered. At times she stands oddly.

The question of moving her to the fresh green valley has been put on hold and only partly because of the length of the journey. I don’t want her going off out of my sight and control. Anyway she can’t be moved far out of the reach of the vet which already knows about her illness unless there is some improvement in her condition. That green valley might have a role for rest and recuperation but to move her there only makes sense if she is showing signs of recovery. If the medication does its magic then we can think again but she is best left where she is for the time being.

I sorted and cleared away her ‘things’ yesterday. She won’t be needing her saddle or bridles nor all the numbnahs, and the winter stable blankets. Even the nearly new purple lunging surcingle and its blanket will not be needed until she can be exercised again. I sorted them, cleaned them and put them away in storage containers in the tack room at home. All she needs nowadays is her waterproof raincoats and perhaps her fly sheets for when the sun does start to shine and the flies come out in force. Her summer coat has grown on well and from a distance she is looking good - be it a little lean. And to think just a couple of months ago I was starting to enquire about a new dressage saddle for her.

I have noticed that there is no smiling when we talk about her - which is often. I have stopped trying to explain to local well wishers who ask after her well being. If they do ask then invariably my voice breaks and my eyes start to water. I make some brief comment and quickly change the subject. 

There is a framed photo of DiDi and me on the shelf opposite my armchair in the lounge. I don‘t like to move it but at the same time I don’t like to look at it. Alongside is a photo of my terrier ***** who went on her way a few weeks ago. Also on the shelf is a photo of my ten year old Rottweiler who is booked in shortly for an operation to remove a fatty lump. 
My little family is going through a bad patch, that is for sure. 

Writing helps me to clear my mind. I apologise to the readers for the sad tone of this article but as I have said many times before, if we owners had not enjoyed the companionship of a horse (or dog) then we would not feel this awful, debilitating pain when they are in trouble. The grief is perhaps part of the price we pay for owning them.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

The weather has been foul, so she's been sleeping in at night. 
There has been no news from the vet and the insurance company so we wait.

Yesterday as I groomed and played with her, she coughed in single dry coughs,45 times in about an hour and a half. Otherwise she looks good - from a distance. She stands oddly though. Her mood varies from fractious to lethargic. 

She's not getting better though but there again she is not on medication for her lungs - only for the ulcers.

The title of the thread is 'Whither goeth she?'. I am beginning to believe I can see where, for her sake, where she should go.


----------



## thesilverspear

Driech day here in Scotland as well. 

Your poor pony. I really hope you get the chance to try her on this medication.


----------



## Ne0n Zero

_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Ne0n Zero

Oops, guess I accidentally posted while reading; my phone was acting up. This is undoubtedly one of the best threads I've read in a long time. I find myself growing very attached to DiDi; as attached as one can become by following her story online, that is. I really hope for the best for you two, Barry. DiDi is very lucky to have an owner such as yourself.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## xxBarry Godden

As a result of my contacting the mutual insurance company, belatedly through the post came a claim form. I was asked to give yet more information to support a possible claim to treat lung disease, which of course I gave. As I typed the history of DiDi’s recent past, so the memories came flooding back to me. 

Back in November she had come third in an affiliated elementary dressage competition. Today, seemingly at the drop of a hat, she will cough intermittently. Whilst grooming her, I timed the coughs at 35 times per hour. She can’t be left to suffer at that rate of coughing.

My girlie has gone from being a Dressage Diva to an old lady with a smoker’s cough. All the insurance claim will bring - if it is authorised - is a packet of very, very, very expensive pills. I won’t get my old horse back. Already her muscle tone has gone and her belly is dropping. The ulcers and the lung lesions will ensure that she is never ever again to be put under stress.

So today, I groomed her, I fed her favourite soft and juicy pears, I led her in hand to some fresh green grass to nibble on. 
But she has lost her spirit. Her eyes are dull. I miss her sparkle.

I want my Irish Huzzy back.


----------



## Ladytrails

Barry, I'm so sorry that you are grieving at the loss of the Diva who captured your heart. You honor her with your tales of her achievements and her antics.


----------



## Rascaholic

Oh my. I can't even express how sad it is to read that your dear Didi is in this shape. I'm so sorry for you, and for her. I know it might not help, but you have a forum full of people supporting whatever decisions you may or may not make for Didi. 

I once made reference to what a wonderful person you are for keeping Didi foremost in your plans. I'd like to say again, Didi is very fortunate to have an owner who is truly planning for her comfort above all else.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Ladies, thank you for all the kind words. Very much appreciated in these sad times.

The thing about horses is they get under your skin. Along with dogs, they arouse such strong emotions in sensitive humans. They take over your life.

DiDi is not a horse for everyone. She can be pushy at times and she never has been a novice ride. Her pretty looks deceive. She has a mind of her own which one comes to tolerate and accept. She has been a dominant mare in the herd. But once met with, you'll not forget her. 

But when one watches such a strong character slowly wilt in the fight against a silly persistent, merciless cough it is hard not to cry. You hear the dry sound, even if you are some distance away, and nowadays I am beginning to count the frequency. And then sometimes there comes a sequence of coughs - which I suspect are in some way associated with mood of the moment -as if a bout of nervousness can induce a cough.

In the meantime we wait for the curse of modern man - paperwork - to wend its relentless way to a decision.


----------



## Clayton Taffy

My thoughts and prayers are with you.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*The Insurance company gives the go ahead.*

Yesterday I arrived at the stables to find The Countess in despair. DiDi had been coughing badly. We had left behind a video camera which had recorded the scene of DiDi wretching. I could not watch the video run through to the end of the recording. It was horrific to watch and to listen to. The horse at times could barely stand. EMPF is indeed a cruel disease. Then slowly the coughing slowed and finally stopped, only to start up, luckily in milder form, a few hours later. DiDi was exhausted.

I decided to immediately take the video to the vets who are located about 5 miles away. We waited for the specialist vet and then showed the video to him. He watched almost disinterestedly, he had seen it all before. ‘You either treat or euthanase’ he said - politely but bluntly. At that moment I was ready to say that we would bring the horse up to the veterinary hospital that afternoon but putting her down had to be a three way decision.

The Countess was for euthanasia except for the ramifications of putting her down for ’social’ reasons. Any ‘authorised’ euthanasia had to be within the conditions laid down by BEVA - the vet rule book which stipulates the treatment for horses in need of treatment for a recognised health condition. If we did not follow those rules, then the insurance company would not pay towards the costs of any disposal of carcass etc. Anyway the vet felt there was a chance for DiDi to respond to treatment but he accepted that before she got better, if indeed she ever did, then she might get worse. He accepted that the caring humans surrounding the horse would pay a high price for watching and listening to DiDi’s distress. But the rules say that all possible treatments must be given and there was still one available for use, an anti viral drug normally kept for use by humans. The trouble was a human may weigh 100 kilos whereas a horse weighs more than 500 kilos. The dosage rates are very different.

We phoned the insurers. They needed to speak with the vet. The vet was, as usual elusive. Emails, and even telephone calls are not answered. We phoned again. Finally we got the approval for treatment which should start today. Vets don’t like putting finger to keyboard, that’s for sure. 
In about two weeks time, if we get that far, we‘ll know if the drug works, We‘ll know then if DiDi is to live or to die.

In looking back over the course of this ailment, one things sticks in our mind that the coughing got worse after she had been treated briefly with steroids, drugs which are known to have harmful side effects. I’ll be careful before giving permission to use steroids again. However at my feet sits my Rottweiler who is cursed with Cushings Disease and it is only the steroid tablets which keep him alive. It was steroids which allowed my terrier to walk. Who am I to say anything? I am merely the caring owner of a very sick horse and an ailing dog.

All this emotion, all the sleepless nights, all the rushing back and forth, is in order to give a 12 yo horse who might never ever be ridden again some extension of life. Yet out on the moors of Southern Britain are dozens of healthy cobs who have been abandoned by their owners. I can now see for myself the dilemma being faced by owners who cannot afford to keep a horse in these times of economic hardship. In a way, I can understand that perhaps it is better to let the horses run wild on the moor as once they did, than to desert them in a small fenced off field which sooner or later will be grazed bare and drank dry. 

I am calm now. I have arranged to pick up the tablets. DiDi’s life is ordered for another two weeks. The die is cast. 

After this is over, one way or the other, we’ll both be set for a prolonged period of rest and recuperation.


----------



## thesilverspear

So sorry to hear this. At least you have the drugs now. Fingers crossed they do something for her.

Your vet sounds a bit lacking in the empathy department. :-(


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver, "Lacking' - I could use another word.

But in two weeks we shall know - 'life' or 'the beyond'


----------



## Rascaholic

Hugs to you, the Countess, and Didi.


----------



## Clayton Taffy

Oh my, i did not realize she was only 12. I just cannot imagine the agony of the decisions you are facing. With two seamingly disinterested parties weighing heavily in the mix, the insurance co and the vet, it must be that much more difficult. The best to you and your girl.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

At last. I collected the tablets, which are an anti viral medication for humans.
An adult takes one tablet three times a day - DiDi is to take 22 tablets, three times a day. 
DiDi has herpes - maybe that is how she contracted the disease by getting too close to another of her species. The pills are for the same as humans. The possible side effects read like a list of what you don't want to know about. 

However, this maybe is the first day of rehabilitation. Maybe she's got a chance. Mercifully she ate the pills when smothered with sugar beet and honey, all fed from the bucket by hand. She gobbled it up.

When I left her. for the first time in ages she was her obnoxious self. She bronked around her field because a storm was brewing. She was coughing, yes but she was full of the joys of Spring.

It is up to her now. I've supplied the medication, it is for her to make use of it.

She's got two weeks more to say 'She's worth it'..


----------



## cakemom

I have to ask if lung cultures have been done via teams tracheal wash. Se almost sounds as if she has a fungal issue going on in there, which steroids would exacerbate. Here we have a fungus called blastomycosis which causes much the same and that's what makes me wonder. 
God bless her and her humans.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## xxBarry Godden

"
_I have to ask if lung cultures have been done via teams tracheal wash. She almost sounds as if she has a fungal issue going on in there, which steroids would exacerbate. Here we have a fungus called blastomycosis which causes much the same and that's what makes me wonder_. "

Please explain in greater detail. 
We have eliminated bacterial infection for DiDi
The EHV 5 came from out of the blue.

What's this about a fungus? What is the treatment?

Her cough is dry - no mucous- sometimes singularly, sometimes multiple.
Sometimes highly distressing. Accompanied by mood swings.

Her distress seemed to develop after she was given steroids - which have now been stopped. 
But my thought is that the brief - a week or so - medication of steroids weakened the immune system and allowed the virus to advance. 
The aim now is to halt the progress of the virus.

She has lesions and there is a small dark area on the lungs but the vet is hopeful that she is young enough to recover.

Please direct me to informatiin about fungi.

B G


----------



## cakemom

This is the specific disease we deal with here. I realize these are not her symptoms it just made me wonder as to whether it could be a fungus causing issues. It can be just lung, or it can go systemic...it just depends on the case. 
equine blastomycosis - definition of equine blastomycosis in the Medical dictionary - by the Free Online Medical Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Fungal Infection*

After reading the entry which you kindly advised me of, it seems that it affects primarily areas of the US where the soil is contaminated - whereas DiDi is grazed in the West of England. UK

Yes, she has a cough but there is no fever to date

The complication with DiDi has been that she suffered two medical conditions at the same time - severe ulcers & EMPF - the symptoms from each ailment overlapped and confused he picture.

We have to wait and see if the anti viral tablets work. I shall keep the forum advised of her progess and will welcome any more comments from you.

Barry G


----------



## Ne0n Zero

Hoping and praying for DiDi. 

Beau was very sick with a cough for a while and no one could figure out why.. Vets thought it was COPD/heaves, but it wasn't really consistent with that. To this day I still don't know what happened, but an organic herbal supplement pulled him out of it for a while when none of the steroids, bronchiodilators, cough syrup, or any of the medications would help, along with some advice from my partner who has experience in respiratory issues (human issues, but her ideas for treatments seemed to work??) He was also moved out of state to a completely different facility when I relocated. He hasn't had any issues for over a year and is back to his normal healthy self.

Obviously I don't think that will work for DiDi given the information here, but the point I was trying to get across is that there is always hope that she will pull through. *hugs*


----------



## cakemom

Yes, I realize it is indigenous to our area, just wondered if there were anything out there that could cause it. 10 years as a vet tech makes me think of all of the out of the box things when considering an animals health. 
Poor Didi, I guess I am just wanting it to be something treatable.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Eventually yesterday I made time to sit and read the instructions which came with the tablets. I reached the paragraph dealing with possible side effects. The list read like every ailment known to man 
A human takes one tablet three times a day whereas DiDi takes 66!.
It is definitely an :
ALWAYS WEAR GLOVES WHEN TOUCHING THIS MEDICATION class of drug 

In humans it is the treatment for shingles or genital herpes even organ transplants. Interestingly no one in the vet’s surgery warned me of the possible side effects on humans.

However yesterday afternoon DiDi had her first treatment mixed up with sugar beet and honey. We have just 41 treatments to go.

Afterwards I led her around the yard in hand to graze on the fresh green grass growing in the verges which seems to be her favourite pastime these days. She coughed singly from time to time but I have stopped counting. But otherwise she was back to her pushy self - pulling me along so that she could reach especially juicy clumps of grass. That’s my Girlie. The pills even give her an excuse to be difficult. 

I phoned and told my friend who owns the green valley of the development I also spoke with their local vet whom we know personally from years back. DiDi is still very welcome when she is clear and fit to travel.

It is now a question of following the treatment and monitoring her progress


----------



## xxBarry Godden

TO ALL OF THE VIEWERS AND COMMENTATORS TO THIS THREAD.

What has been a boost to me is the response I have received from many of you out there. Here am I in the UK struggling with the system. My sleep pattern is disturbed, I can't think seriously about anything else and I am, from time to time, becoming very despondent. Only yesterday, when so close to getting the medication, I nearly thought to put DiDi down. Luckily we hesitated. 

But then I got home, I dialled up the Forum and here read yet more words of encouragement. I also noted the prayers. Thank you, Guys.

This particular thread has turned almost into a chronicle but I have posted it , largely to keep me sane but also to help others who may at some time be in the same predicament - ie owning a very sick horse which needs treatment to win through. Dealing with this type of scenario is part of what owning a horse is all about - the owner has to know the horse to be able to interpret its condition and to make decisions for it. And with an animal which can't talk sometimes that can be a tricky thing to do.

As yet it is too soon to tell if DiDi has a viable life in front of her but I, my wife and The Countess, have done our best to give her the chance. It is up to her now. What I do know is that in a way, she has now been rendered immortal by this thread. Even if I never get to ride her again - which is very possible - she has left an indelible mark on me and my close friends.

But thanks again to you all for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. Much appreciated.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

I went back to see if the first doses of anti herpes virus 5 powder have had any effect. I am pleased to say that neither the Countess nor I have succumbed to the side effects - as yet. As I arrived DiDi was standing by the gate. She had heard my car.

According to the Countess she was refusing to take the 22 pills. How surprising.

We made up a bucket of water, sugar beet, treacle, treat pellets and pestle crushed tablets. I cleaned off the lick residues from her muzzle and gave her a chopped up pear Then she deigned to snuffle down the medicine mixture from the feed bucket. She knew I’d lead her to the grass verges later. Anyway there were more pears to be chopped up in the bag.

As for her. Well she was coughing at about 50 coughs per hour but she was in mood mellow without being subdued. She hadn’t fallen over, had nightmares, got the shakes, nor experienced any of the other side effects promised by the manufacturer’s leaflet. 
And when she tugged me over to the grassy banks to snatch grass, I felt somewhat relieved. She wasn't giving in.

PS The insurance company sent me a note saying they would pay for 90% of the ulcer treatment to date. I’ll pay the rest even if they won’t.


----------



## Rascaholic

I can't speak for everyone, but I know I am grateful for the posts about yourself and DiDi. It is inspirational to see someone so concerned and caring for a riding buddy you may never ride again. It's heart warming to hear your thoughts and concerns, while it is obviously a very painful subject. It shows a generous spirit that you can share with perfect strangers around the world the concerns you have for the wonder named DiDi. You introduced us to her, you made her so very real through your own observations, descriptions, and honest assessments of DiDi and her character. You weren't afraid to share the fear, anxiety, and concern for her with us.
You gave her another job without abandoning her to the fates. You are giving her medical care that has no guarantee. You lose sleep for her and her well being. And through all of this you reach out and touch the forum members with your heart and love for DiDi. Thank you for making us a part of DiDi's life and your own.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Rascal What a lovely compliment that you pay me. Thank you.

You see, the traffic is not one way. I gain from telling you all what goes on with this evil disease. Writing the story as it happens is cathartic for me.

I am now no longer confident that DiDi will survive - so maybe it is wrong of me to cling on to her. But as long as she shows some fighting spirit, then I must support her in any way I can. The pills may help her, but equally in helping her those tablets may put her in even more discomfort. The list of known side effects in humans, haunts me. Humans take 3 pills in a day, DiDi takes 66!

Yesterday she freaked out, ran around the paddock, slipped 
and fell over. She picked herself up and started to graze. Why? Why? Why? It must be side effects - or is it?

As her guardian I can no longer guarantee the horse's comfort and well being. Should I allow her to be the guinea pig of a specialist vet? Should I send her off on her final journey? I have been close to making that terminal decision on several occasions.

So long as she continues to fight her corner, then I must support her. It would be much easier for me to wave her good bye.
Once I sense she has given up, then finally I must help her in the only way left to me. But she is not there yet.

DiDi as a personal riding horse has been a disappointment to me but as a lesson in what owning a horse truly means to a human, she has been a learned professor. I'll never react quite the same again with any other horse.

If by telling DiDi's story I help to put across the message that horses are sensitive, intelligent, willing servants of man then maybe this awful episode in my life has been worth it. 

And if some other unfortunate owner is told that their horse has a lung disease, then they might now know what to expect. 

This chronicle may have only a week or two to run. But as long as when she hears my car, DiDi's ears ***** up and she wanders over to the gate, then I have hope - be it increasingly slender.

Again, Guys, thank you all for lending me your shoulders to cry on.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Today was a grey overcast day. As I arrived DiDi was up by the gate.
Today was a big day for her, from now on only 14 tablets, just twice a day.

She was pushie, and demanding of her pears. 
She fidgeted as I groomed her.
She demanded to be led to graze the fresh long green grass by the arena. 
She dragged me along in a very forcible manner. I had difficulty in holding her.
Today she was obnoxious.
Today she was the huzzy I know.

and in an hour, she coughed only 4, repeat FOUR, times
Maybe she is feeling better ?????


----------



## Ladytrails

What great news! As I read of her headstrong behavior and greedy mugging for pears, I had to smile! I thought, now this is the 'old' Didi! So glad for this glimmer of hope; fingers tightly crossed for you and your lovely mare, Barry!


----------



## cakemom

Whohooo for our brazen hussy back! Praying this med is helping! I like to hear her being pushy and bolshy, it's more her than she has been in months.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## MHFoundation Quarters

That's fantastic news, Barry! So glad to hear that she's feeling a bit more like her diva self. Continued prayers for her recovery.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Today words like 'pushie' and 'bolshie' did not describe her adequately. Today she was like a 'cat on a hot tin roof'. At the slightest strange sound, her neck, head and ears came up to point to the sky. She demanded her pear, 
she demanded her treats. She pushed and pulled on the lead rope.

But she coughed only once in an hour and a half.

Now bear in mind, this horse is taking 29 anti herpes pills, 2 tablespoons of Benillyn, a squeeze of Gastrogard and the use of a molasses lick. The cough appears to be abating but with the abatement returns the sharp behaviour.
In today's mood you would not want to ride her. And she is aggressive towards the four geldings on the yard.

What a conundrum this horse represents. 
She's got a week of treatment yet to come. What will be the next phase, I wonder??


----------



## cakemom

She is a bit of an enigma that gal. I'm still thrilled to see her being more lively. How do you feel her ulcer pain is?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Beling

Well, be careful!

It could be she's feeling so much better; it could be some kind of side effect. I do hope the vets are taking careful notes of what's going on, as this is a fairly new treatment.

DiDi's progress is so encouraging. Best of luck!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Beling - that is exactly my concern, especially since I guess all the vet will do is to check for lesions on the lungs and to scope the ulcers. 

She is a powerful horse and when she freaks out, she can be a handful to control. If her mood does not mellow over the coming week then we are back where we started with a fractious horse.

My concern is that the tablets for the lungs impact on the ulcers. The vet won't bother about her behaviour.


----------



## Clayton Taffy

You had not posted for almost 48 hours, I was thinking the worst. So glad to hear the news is better.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Taffy, my guess is that the medicine is working - she is coughing less.
The question is whether the improvement is lasting and whether the side effects bring along other problems.
The improvement of the lungs may be at the expense of the ulcers.

But today, she was in good shape - be it very aggressive.

Thank you for your concern,

B G


----------



## xxBarry Godden

After playing with DiDi yesterday I realized a decision point is approaching. The vet will want to see the treatment thru until the cough abates. 
He will be curious to see if the ulcers have reopened as a result of the medication. 
He hasn't asked me to record any change in her behaviour, but I suspect he will. If he doesn't hear from me, then he'll assume DiDi is improving. But I do know he has been out of town.

Then the question will arise as to whether the treatment continues beyond the key initial two weeks. I shall have to ask myself whether I can afford the over run costs beyond what the insurance company will accept.

But what shall I have at the end of the treatment? 
For several reasons DiDi will not be fit to be ridden. 
But hopefully she'll be fit to travel for rest and recuperation. Hopefully she'll be in a fit mental state to move to a new environment. 

A whole new set of considerations loom on the near horizon.

Yesterday she was so sharp that I could see that extreme care would have to be taken when handling her. I had to use my weight against her and fit a training halter so as to ensure control. The Countess thinks DiDi is still in pain, largely as a result of the side effects of the anti herpes pills. But how do I judge for sure? All I can do is to watch her reactions.

I suppose only time, and DiDi, are going to tell me what to do.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Maybe the pills are working?*

It has been a long winding road with DiDi. It started when her behaviour became unacceptable She was bitchy, irritable, short, cross and aggressive towards other horses. I became aware that when handling her, I had to be very careful lest she crush me against the wall. In fact she never did hurt me but occasionally I had to keep my distance. Then simply by dosing her up with pain killer, we proved that the underlying cause was pain, purely on the basis that she had reverted to behaving in a civilised manner when dosed up to the eye balls with bute.

In the end we discovered the ulcers and finally came across the lung disease. She then had a genuine excuse for her irritability.

Even a catalogue of events does nothing to describe the ever present anguish at each twist and turn of revelation especially during the negotiations with an elusive vet and with a pedantic insurance company. Repeatedly, back returned the question to me as to what to do with her for the best. And at one stage the instruction for euthanasia was on the tip of my tongue. I am still in the throes of trying to work out what is best for this ‘madame of the horse world‘. 

It is after all these twists and turns I begin to realize why the sportsman in equitation appears to be so hard in his attitude towards the horse on which he relies to compete. The professional is there to win and any horse which is not on top form or is being unpredictable is a waste of effort, money, time and opportunity. For sure he would not get far with DiDi. I have always felt that she has to be handled with tact and that she is by nature a ‘prima donna‘ as are a lot of pretty females. 

It is frowned upon in equitation to associate a horse with the emotions of a human but I think that is sometimes a mistaken attitude. The very human emotion of jealousy is certainly within DiDi’s character as is impatience. Many is the day on which I first approach DiDi, when she greets me with an impatient:
‘Where have you been? You’re‘ late” 

She will snatch, she will push and shove, she will stamp her feet and she will use her butt as a battering ram. Such a response is ingrained in her temperament. Then she’ll shy at the silliest of things - sometimes I think just to prove it is her between my legs. Just how am I to judge when truly she is in pain? In the side effects of the herpes tablets list ’headaches’ as a common occurrence in humans. Does DiDi get ’a migraine’ I wonder?

I sense several readers saying: ’well, she’d have to snap out of those habits, if she were mine’. 
Sorry, it would not work to chastise her too harshly beyond a firm hand and the occasional ’Oi’. She would react even more strongly and if under saddle, you’d find yourself on the floor - ‘tout de suite’. 

DiDi will always respond to her rider/handler’s response and the human must be careful not to induce from DiDi an unacceptable response because DiDi will learn to use it against her human.

Yet there are those times when she excels. And on such occasions as I watch her parade around the arena I sense she is preening herself. I almost hear her saying: “Look at me”

Currently I am aware that since I cannot accurately tell if she is in pain, I am at a severe disadvantage. If she senses that I can’t tell the difference, then the Huzzy will take me for a ride - in the literary sense. And undoubtedly she’ll discover the phrase “ No, I’ve got a headache”. 

Judging from yesterday, when she coughed only once in an hour and a half, the expensive pills seem to be working. My only fear is that the easing of the lung issue will be at the expense of a renewal of the ulceration. But she still has a small amount of the Gastrogard each day, so maybe that will help offset any side effects. 

We are only half way into the first trial period. We have some way yet to go. 
Who knows what next lies around the corner?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

The bill came in for the tablets - 2 weeks supply only - at almost 
£2000, two thousand pounds. Luckily I know it will be covered by the insurance company. Nevertheless just seeing the invoice addressed to me, gives the shivers,

I have written this chronicle partly to help others face the awful 
dilemma of making a decision for an an animal which you know
can result in a high cost to treat. The charge for this treatment is out of all proportion but many successful sports horses command a very high value. 
The only defence must be the insurance company and then the insurance will only pay out so long as there are no exclusions hidden in the fine print. EMPF is rare but ulcers aren't.

I have been lucky, because I did not know the full extent of risk.
Next year I'll have to renew the policy.
I wonder if they will accept DiDI again?


----------



## Skyseternalangel

They best accept DiDi again! And that is a huge bill; I am glad that you have the insurance company. DiDi is getting the best care from the best horse daddy around 

I hope she continues to improve ever so little


----------



## Ne0n Zero

That is so wonderful to hear she seems to be improving! I hope she keeps following this road  

Good luck with your insurance. Without you DiDi would not be nearly so fortunate.


----------



## thesilverspear

I'd be worried about the insurance renewal.  Insurance companies are *******s. A few years ago, my horse caught her leg in a fence when trying to kick a horse in a neighbouring field. She got a deep cut on her hock, which required over £1000 of treatment. Insurance company dutifully paid up but now, the left hock is excluded from ANY coverage even though she recovered 100% from that injury. It's farcical. I even asked, if she were unlucky enough to be kicked on that hock by another horse say, would the resulting injury be covered? The answer is no. As I said, farcical. 

Anyway, it sounds as if the anti-herpes drugs are doing something. That's good news. But the return of the sharp, aggressive behaviour is worrying. Your mare is a complicated girl.


----------



## bsms

_She will snatch, she will push and shove, she will stamp her feet and she will use her butt as a battering ram. Such a response is ingrained in her temperament. Then she’ll shy at the silliest of things - sometimes I think just to prove it is her between my legs. Just how am I to judge when truly she is in pain? In the side effects of the herpes tablets list ’headaches’ as a common occurrence in humans. Does DiDi get ’a migraine’ I wonder?_

_I sense several readers saying: ’well, she’d have to snap out of those habits, if she were mine’. _

_Sorry, it would not work to chastise her too harshly beyond a firm hand and the occasional ’Oi’. She would react even more strongly and if under saddle, you’d find yourself on the floor - ‘tout de suite’._ ​To be honest, Barry, I'm one of those. My mare will never win anything. She doesn't have awesome breeding, and she would have an emotional melt-down if put in any kind of show or competition now. But she is definitely a prima donna who expects to be the center of attention. 

She is a dominant horse. That is why she came up for sale. The 12 year old girl who first bought her put her in a pasture with a couple of large, 1500 lb geldings, and she refused to submit her 900 lbs to them. She lost 150 lbs and was still refusing to submit (not to mention that few horses could be a worse choice for a 12 year old girl - Mia wouldn't tolerate her). So they returned her, and she was sold to me as a good horse for a beginner. She wasn't. In fact, she probably had never been broken to ride at all.

The last 4 years have been a learning program. However, while she is very much a 'Please and Thank You horse' - heaven help someone who wants to dominate her - anyone working her also needs to expect a 'Please & Thank You'. If a couple of 1500 lb geldings can't beat her into submission, I sure won't. But I would do her no favors by tolerating rudeness on her part.

_"She will snatch, she will push and shove, she will stamp her feet and she will use her butt as a battering ram." _

If I accepted that from Mia, she would be even a worse nervous wreck than what she is already. Mia's fears are real, at least to her. For the first 4 months we owned her, she would regularly break into a lather sweat just standing in a corral. Her bolting was always accompanied by squirting diarrhea and rolling eyes. If she is to deal with life, her inner tensions need to be dealt with.

But that means she must have someone who she trusts to make her safe. And she wouldn't trust someone she can dominate to be her protector. 

She differs from DiDi in many ways. I cannot imagine riding her in a dressage style. Obedience isn't in her vocabulary. There are many ways to provoke her into fighting back. I've explored a number of them. But she needs to have her relation with humans built on MUTUAL respect. If she can dominate a human, she cannot trust him. And if she cannot trust him, then she will be nervous. Colic-nervous. Diarrhea-nervous. Bolt-nervous.

How one demands mutual respect is open to learning. There are 'punishments' Mia will not tolerate. She bitterly resents being turned in circles, for example. Do that with her underneath you, and you will have a fight. Do it from the ground, and you can see her temper kicking in. But backing her up is, in her mind, acceptable. A pop in the butt with a stone is acceptable. A smack with a whip is not. I don't know why, but that is the way she is.

But if I tolerated her using her butt as a ram, she would never trust me to protect her from her fears. I don't know if she would have ulcers, but she would definitely have colic - been there, done that for months after we got her. She will not be dominated, but she cannot relax while she can dominate others.

Could a horse who cannot relax get ulcers? Is DiDi's problem all physical, or is some of it mental? Given the price of the medicine, it might be something to consider.

No offense is intended. I've only owned 4 horses long enough to know anything at all about those individuals. I'm not a trainer, a guru, or even a competent rider. But I think it is important to ask the question.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Silver - from Jan 2013 I doubt if DiDi is covered for sneezing but she certainly won't be covered for ulcers or lungs. So either this episode of treatment works or we have to think again.

But that is not today's worry. 
Last night she tripped herself up at the walk - twice - and fell over.
I didn't witness the interlude but apparently she appeared to be 'drunk'

Today - her mood is fine but she is coughing again and too often to count.

She is halfway through the treatment - what does come after the first two weeks of treatment at a high dosage rate of the pills ????
What are the signs that the medication is working???

It is a lovely sunny day. I gave her a bath. I fed her juicy pears and carrots.
I washed and plaited her tail. We went green grass eating along the verges.
She's clean. She's protected against the flies. 
As I left the yard she was asleep on the ground wrapped in her fly rug.

An appointment is made to see the vet and talk about her on Thursday.

I am depressed again.

As of today, the coughing is bac


----------



## thesilverspear

I'd tend to agree with bsms on this one. I also have a dominant mare who gets very stressed when she has to be dominant, which is kind of why she can't be turned out in a herd. She had major stress issues at a yard I kept her at for about a year because -- in part -- of barn help who didn't know how to set boundaries with a horse. She was on full livery, so these were the people who fed and turned her out every day. I never ever let a horse shove, snatch, get pushy or bolshie, much less swing its butt towards me. I don't care how sensitive it is (and neither would an alpha horse in a herd). My mare is sweet, gentle and well-mannered with me, as she knows the deal. As bsms said, there are many ways to establish boundaries and give the horse the opportunity to do the right thing. Dunno... such boundaries could help DiDi's general attitude and confidence, as a horse who knows his or her place in the herd and confident in their herd leader is a happier horse. This is certainly the case with Gypsum.

Sorry to hear she is coughing again. :-(


----------



## xxBarry Godden

"_Could a horse who cannot relax get ulcers? Is DiDi's problem all physical, or is some of it mental? Given the price of the medicine, it might be something to consider"_

BSMS, The evidence is there that severe ulceration had taken place at some time in her life and I have only had her for 4 of her 12 years. The photos showed red raw wounds to level 4 in the lower stomach.

The small round lesions on the lungs and the dark shadow are visible and I have seen them on the screen of the vet's computor. There is a dark patch. DiDi is damaged goods and the damaged tissue will not be replaced by Mother Nature.

What the connection between the lungs and the ulcers is, remains to be seen
but as we treat her now, it becomes evident that the treatment for one ailment irritates the other ailment. That she was given steroids, we believe activated the virus to attacki the lungs - but that is theorising on my part. Steroids can weaken the immune system and thereby allow the virus to spread. But who really knows?

The mood swings could be activated by a number of issues and temperament is certainly one of them, as are her hormones. Her ovaries have been checked and are fine. 

Aggression is known to be a symptom of pain and that is where we are stumped. We are never sure how much pain she is suffering or on which organ the pain is focussed. We just suspect from her demeanour, her eyes, her posture and her behaviour that she is in pain somewhere. But bute is forbidden at this time.

Today I played gently with her. She was in a mellow mood. But throughout the two hours she coughed, sometimes individually, sometimes in groups of coughs. It is a dry, harsh cough with no mucuous. Sometimes she drops her head. Sometimes it comes on as she eats the grass - rich, green, new, moist spring grass. 

The cough is what is going to kill her. And either the expensive medicine works its magic and halts the progress of the virus or the lesions will spread and the coughing will increase to the greater distress of the animal. 

The worrying new issue is the stumbling at free walk although that could be a side effect of the anti herpes pills.

If there were not the possiblity that the special pills will stop the virus, then without a doubt I should end her pain. I can't guarantee her future well being and quality of life - which is my responsibility as owner. 
The ulcers could be managed by careful management. 
The mood swings can be catered for - as long as they do not represent chronic pain. 
The lung damage is a different matter. The coughing will tense up the muscles. 
Finally, without a clean set of lungs, what role does she have in life other than to eat grass - perhaps at the risk of laminitis?

There are three humans and the vet in the decision making process as to how to proceed with DiDi. Two humans already say the time has come to say 'good bye'. 
The vet having proscribed the medication, wants to see what happens. 

As for me, well I can only say: 'let her go' the once. 
When she stands by the gate and looks at me to say hello and good bye, I wilt. She was such a lovely horse. She still looks very smart. She is very intelligent, very forward going, very responsive. She is a very unusual horse. 
Me, well I am the one she talks to.

What did she do to deserve this ugly, powerful virus known as EHV5?

Back to basics:
The trials have one week to run. Probably the vet will say wait a further two weeks to see what happens, He might say 'more pills'. But to him she is merely a horse with an rare ailment.

On Thursday maybe we shall know where we are going with this creature. 
----------------------------------------
BSMS - you obviously have a good relationship with your Mia. You see her as a character horse and she gives you a lot of pleasure - which is exactly how it should be. Horses come with warts and all. 

I can only let get of DiDi the once, then there will remain an empty stable and a tack room filled with useless bits of leather tack. If DiDi goes, then it would not be appropriate, for me at my age, to replace her.


----------



## bsms

I feel for you, Barry. In 50 years of owning dogs, I've concluded the most enjoyable feature of a dog is one with 'personality'. I've owned dogs that were...dogs. OK, but they just were there. Not bad, but not all that memorable. But some dogs have a unique personality. It demands to be noticed. It makes you laguh, or angry sometimes - but they are obviously individuals with a spark.

Mia is like that. She made me interested in horses. Demanding, dominant, fearful, egotistical - and always interactive. If, God forbid, she died tomorrow, I would get another horse - but I could never replace her.

It sounds as if DiDi is that way as well. Larger than life, overwhelming, delightful, aggravating, exasperating - and wonderful. I'm sure her loss would be excrutiating. And yet you also know you MUST do what is best for her - but WHAT is best?

I wish I could offer words of wisdom. Instead, all I can offer is sympathy. I'm probably going to face that someday with Mia, and it will tear me apart. I was 50 when I came to horses...and more specifically, met Mia. Who would have guessed a horse could get under your skin like that?

Maybe you had enough experience to expect it. It caught me by surprise. And as you struggle with the decisions ahead, you have my total sympathy. I just wish sympathy would make things easier for you...


----------



## MHFoundation Quarters

I wish I could find the right thing to say, but I'm finding myself with a lack of words. I am thinking about you Barry & pulling for DiDi.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

BSMS
Yes, both dogs and horses get through to one's soul and some more so than others. A mischevious Staffordhire Bull Terrier still occupies one corner of my mind, and DiDi is trying to steal the other corner. 

The easy thing for me to have done, would have been to surrender to the virus when I first found out about it but the internet gives a faint hint that not all horses succomb to it. I've been hoping that DiDi could join the list of exceptions. She's got the approved drug, and it is up to her to make use of it. I can't do any more now but wait, watch and listen for the coughs. 

Over almost 40 years I have had to put down three horses and several faithful dogs, whose quality of life had declined to an unacceptable degree. It never gets easier to make that final decision but I accept that as being part of the responsibility the human acquires when taking up ownership of the animal. 

I'll not take on another horse but I confess that there is an empty dog basket back in the utility room. If a man has ever known the love and friendship of a dog or a horse, then he knows it is not one of the supreme pleasures in life to go without, even if he realizes that eventually he might have to choose the time to say 'good-bye'.

DiDi hasn't moved on yet, you never know, she might yet turn a corner. But she is leaving it late to make her move.

Thank you for your kind words and thoughts, they do help.


----------



## Rascaholic

I've typed and deleted so many times on this thread Barry. I wish there was a way to help you and help DiDi. I know there isn't, other than letting you know I still read, and still support whatever decisions you make regarding DiDi.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

MHF
You've written the right words to say and your sympathy and understanding is much appreciated.

I have to guard against the vet wanting to watch the progress of the disease for professional reasons. Maybe eventually I'll have to draw a line and put a stop to
it. I do have an obligation to the insurers to see the first trial through - so long as DiDi's condition does not deteriorate too quickly. And there is always the hope that the drug needs more time to work its magic.

However if DiDi is going to make a miraculous recovery then all I can say is that she is leaving it late. 

At least today is a lovely sunny day here in the UK. As I left DiDi today, she was dozing in the sun and the weather is set fair for the next few days.


----------



## Ladytrails

Barry, please know that I'm checking your posts and hoping for a bit of better news... my heart goes out to you both.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Lady, thank you again for your concern and thoughts.
Every day I try to make a judgement as to her condition and the level of her discomfort. But whether she will get better and stay better is out of our hands. We can only wait to see if the pills have had any effect.

I shall be interested to see how the vet will judge her progress and what his ideas for her future are.

B G


----------



## Ladytrails

Barry, I think your questions are very well stated for the vet and I will also be interested to see what his responses are, and what (or whether) he recommends a particular approach. In your shoes, I would retain your earlier curiosity as to whether the vet would prefer to continue the meds for his own academic reasons, rather than being based on objective measures of the drug's success thus far in helping Didi....


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Time is running out*

Yesterday was a big day. At last we had the chance to speak with the specialist vet who has dealt with DiDi. As he said, we shall soon reach the stage where tests would prove whether the expensive anti-herpes medication has worked. 
The criteria are simple:

if she has regressed, ie the coughing has increased, the heart rate was high, the behaviour erratic, then there would be little chance for an other interpretation other than to put DiDi down. The virus will kill her anyway.

if the tests show little response and compare generally with those results previously produced, then that would be a sign that the medication was ineffective and in view of the cost, it would make no sense to proceed with further medication. Again euthanasia would be the obvious choice but maybe not immediately.

However if the symptoms had abated somewhat and the coughing is less, the mood swings are less erratic then there would be a case for keeping DiDi alive and another dose of medication.

One could summarize therefore that there would be a two to one chance that the obvious route would be for DiDi, for her own well being, to be put down. As owner my responsibility is to ensure her well being and to take the necessary decisions for her.

It does not help that between me, my wife and The Countess, there is some disagreement as to the state of DiDi. My feeling that if the choice came down to life or death, DiDi could learn to tolerate a little discomfort in the hope that with rest and recuperation, she could come to terms with that discomfort and live on for the time being. In the same way a smoker gets used to living with a smoker‘s cough. The question would be where to draw the line as to what might represent cruelty towards her. 

OK DiDI is not eating dry hay, especially when she knows that not far away is fresh green grass.
OK She doesn‘t like taking the medicine, but she is being dosed to a high level and we don’t know how the pills taste to her or how her stomach reacts to them. 
OK We do know any side effects will most likely cease once the need to take the pills ends. So maybe the occasional loss of balance will cease.
OK She watches the other four horses being exercised daily, as once was she, but now The Countess does not work her for fear of invoking a coughing attack or a fit DiDi might be jealous of the attention, given to the other horses.
OK For some reason as yet undefined she suffers bouts of persistent coughing. But the trigger could be for reasons of pollen or some other form of non lethal irritant.

No one in the equine medical profession yet understands is the broad range of symptoms which the Equine Herpes Viruses might induce because the disease has only recently recognised and the effects thereof are as yet only lightly documented.

My one big problem is that I see one major barrier to surmount. To reach my friend’s property where DiDi could retire for rest and recuperation involves a 140 mile journey along one of Britain’s busiest road networks. 
I wonder if DiDi could survive that journey?
To obtain a permit to travel involves a simple examination by a vet on the day of travel. The big issue to be determined is the rate of breathing coupled with the heart rate. 
The Countess feels DiDi is not fit to travel especially on hot days. Well, we have a choice of not travelling her until the daytime temperature is more moderate after all, Britain’s climate varies almost from day to day. If we have a wet day, then that would be ideal for travel. Or maybe we could travel at night.

Personally I feel that where located where she is, DiDi is living under the cloud of diagnosis. 
She is known to suffer from ulcers and an incurable herpes virus. 
She is not in peak condition. 
But could she travel to where the pressures will be off her? 
In leafy Surrey, she’ll just be another horse grazing grass. 
She’d not have the baggage of an incurable ailment to carry. 
She’d just be a horse that has a smoker’s cough.

Next Tuesday has been set for the day of the final X ray at the equine hospital. She’ll have to make a shortish journey on that day to the vets. How she manages that journey will determine her future. However, there is no denying that there is a real possibility she’ll not come home.
------------------------------------------

*Postscript*. The weather has been hot - almost 30 deg C so I have been giving her a bath each day. 
To a passing onlooker she looks good. 
She’s lost a bit of muscle, she is a bit tucked up. 
A little of her summer coat has moulted. 
At rest she stands a little bit oddly. 
But when standing alongside me, she is mostly calm and alert. 

Every day, she gets a lb of juicy pears, the juice of which slobbers down her chin. Then afterwards we go looking for the fresh green grass which grows in the hedgerows. We walk along, almost like an old couple taking the dog for a walk. I’ve noticed that at the beginning of our play together, she coughs a bit, then she calms down and the coughing eases. When it is time for her to go back to her paddock, she baulks and looks at me as if to say: “I don’t want to go in yet“. So mostly I give her a little longer at play.

If I am honest, I don’t think the vets have found all of DiDi’s little problems. But what with the medicine, the cough mixture, the treacle, the treats, the sugar beet, the pears, the apples and carrots, I can’t think of what else to give her. Time is running out.

For me, it won’t make much difference whether she goes miles away to Surrey or she goes to pastures in the sky, I am going to miss her - _bad_.

B G


----------



## MHFoundation Quarters

Barry, that makes my heart heavy, I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling. I will continue to pray and hope the treatment will be successful.


----------



## Northern

I've posted my opinion before, Barry, but every time that you tell us that she's calmed down in your presence & enjoyed moseying with you, & wants to extend your visits, it makes me wonder afresh how it is that you seem blind to the fact that for you to disappear from her life just might be the last straw for her?


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Northern. I have no option locally. DiDi must be kept away from other horses for several reasons. Certainly the tenants on the neighbouring DIY livery yard don't want a horse with a virus induced cough - for fear it is catching - even though there is no evidence to say that is the case.

The Countess has been good throughout this journey of discovery but she feels DiDI should be put down and has done so for some time. 

Our friend in Surrey, has our trust, has horse expertise, the untouched grass, and the local availability of veterinary expertise with one of the UK's top vets. 
Over the last few years she has specialised in nursing horses which have been retired early for health reasons. And she has a vacancy, which presently she needs to fill, for as long as DiDi has use of it. DiDI will be safe and secure in the horse equivalent of a nursing home. The area is national park land and farming is minimal. There is no rape seed grown in the region. The air is cleaner.

For me to try to reproduce hereabouts what our friend offers would be very difficult and very costly and then I'd need a second horse/pony to keep DiDi company.

There is but one problem with this arrangement - the distance - two and a half hours driving. 
As for me, well, that's another issue. But DiDi's comfort and well being comes at the top of my list. DiDi has always been a bit of a loner. She'll not lack for human attention and she'll be seen as 'a horse with a cough' - not 'a horse at death's door'. I think I am doing the right thing by her. 

But first she's got to get there.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

This evening, she was bad. The day had been hot. Her heart was racing, her flanks heaving in and out. It took an hour to calm her down. After pears and treats and grass she calmed down sufficiently to put her back out in her paddock.

What exactly are this pills I am giving her? 
Are they responsible for her obvious distress?
Never again will I give a pill to an animal without knowing exactly how the pills work.

I shall check early tomorrow how she is. I fear for her, but what can I do????


----------



## Northern

Barry, I've just today read of humans being given pills that they were supposed to take for the rest of their lives, & they turned them into raging lunatics, so they flushed them & returned to normal! 

If you suspect that the pills are causing the racing heart & distress, please stop them for a few days, & observe the results!

As usual, your visits & attention bring her around.


----------



## Rascaholic

Barry Godden said:


> For me, it won’t make much difference whether she goes miles away to Surrey or she goes to pastures in the sky, I am going to miss her - _bad_.
> 
> B G


This in itself brings tears to my eyes. I feel for you and DiDi. I can't imagine not having my Rascal. I don't want to imagine it either.

Words can't say how sorry I feel for DiDi and for you.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

The day has started with the last thing we wanted -bright strong sunlight.
It is going to be a hot day.

DIdI has been brought in to her dark shaded stable. Her breathing rate is high but not as high as it was last night. SHe is standing at the back of the stable dozing.

I phoned the vet for some advice but it is Sunday and they have standby vets who know nothing of the horse's history - a well meaning foreigner - useless really in our predicament. He doesn;t even have access to her notes. And we know more than he does.

We'll keep her cool. I'll give her a cool wash later. I have a basket of pears. We'll go walking for grass. 

I can now see she can't be sent off to Surrey. Indeed I wonder now if we can even get her to the vets on Tuesday. There are implications if I stop the treatment, one being that there might be a sharp reaction which will bring on other side effects. These pills work on the immune system, they are powerful chemicals and she has been stuffed full of them. But it is too late to go 'off piste' now - the last dose is scheduled for Tuesday morning - if she lasts that long. If I cut her off now, I save her from 3 doses - does that help her or harm her? And the vet who can tell me is travelling to the US today.

All I can seem to do positively is to fret and that does noone any good. I must hold steady. DiDi musn't pick up on my own distress.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Thankfully, today the sun was hidden by cloud, so the temperature did not rise too high. I washed my girl; I fed her some pears and treats and off we mosied looking for some long green grass. We found some and she ate and ate and ate.

Her laboured breathing was back to about 50 breaths per minute but somehow she managed to chew the grass almost non stop. The coughing was ever present but muted. 

I gossiped away to her whilst she grazed on the grass. Every now and again she turned and nuzzled my pocket for a treat. The photos of the moments show me smiling. I enjoyed the time we spent together today and so did she. There was no past or future, just the present. For a time, her ugly, unforgiving disease was forgotten. It was the first time I had cause to laugh and smile with her for a long time. 

I am sure, today's munching session will become one of my favourite memories of being with her.


----------



## Northern

Barry, why not call another vet, since yours is unavailable?


----------



## HowClever

Northern, I assume in a situation like this, with a history like DiDi has, another vet would be near on useless for advice.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Northeern, I have already spoken with another vet, namely the one who originally performed an inspection when I bought her four years ago. His advice was very simple - in his opinion treatment for one ailment - namely ulcers - might well interfere with the lung condition. Likewise aggressive treatment for the lung condition might aggravate the ulcer condition and induce other side effects. His words ring true I already suspect the outcome of the use at one stage of steroids. 

His opinion was that I could not guarantee the health and well being of the horse. He feared that regardless of medication I might have to put her down. 

Today - the sun is set to shine and the temperature to rise into the 80s farenheit - which is the last thing we need. She has started the day at
46 breaths a minute and has been brought into her stable. 

We shall be speaking with her vet shortly.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

DiDi has gone.

Barry G

------------------ 

I'll post a postcript or two but essentially this is now the end of this thread.

I left her munching hay in a big, wide, air conditioned stable at the vets hospital.
After the final Xray she had munched on grass, pears and treats. 
The pills had not worked. 

She had no idea what was coming.
There would be no pain, no discomfort, no indiginity.
This was the last service I could perform for her.

I wanted to remember her alive and as the Irish Huzzy she had always been to me. In a cowardly fashion I shrank away from watching her last moments on this world. You never will know, I might meet with her in the next?

B G


----------



## thesilverspear

Oh, Barry. Very sorry to hear that. :-(


----------



## trailhorserider

So sorry to hear that Barry. But you were a responsible owner and did the right thing. 

*If only all horses had such a caring owner like you! *

My condolences.


----------



## HowClever

Oh Barry, I had so hoped....

You went above and beyond for your wonderful little mare, I am sure if she could she would thank you for the little joys you brought to her.

RIP sweet girl.


----------



## Jake and Dai

My deepest condolences Barry. I've been reading this thread every day and praying for both of you. I am so very very sorry.

RIP Beautiful DiDi. You will be missed by more people than you would ever imagine.


----------



## egrogan

So sorry Barry. I've never posted but read your thread every day. It sounds like you made the right decision for your girl. I'll never look at pears the same way again.


----------



## cakemom

The sweet juicy taste of pears. God speed Didi, may we all have a BG in our lives at some point to love us as he did you.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


----------



## Rascaholic

I'm so sorry Barry. DiDi will be missed by a lot of people. I commend you for caring so much for her, and making her passing as painless as possible.


----------



## Ladytrails

Barry, I am so, so sorry for you. I know you did the right thing, best for her even though it left the huge hole in your heart. We loved your Irish huzzy, too, as we grew to know her through your stories. She was a lucky mare, having you come into her life at the right time to take care of her special needs at the end of her life.


----------



## Skyseternalangel

My sincere condolences, you are a remarkable, caring owner that went to the edge of the world for his beautiful girl, when others wouldn't have done even close to what you have for this horse.

My arms are always open for a hug, as I know I'd need one if I just lost someone special in my life... 

Rest in Beautiful Grass-filled Peace, DiDi


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Thank you all for your kind wishes,*

I have always believed that writing can help me understand what is going on around me. For weeks I had fought to convince myself that there was an option to euthanasia by sending DiDi into retirement - even if it was 140 miles away. At times in the reality of the situation I wavered but for the last month the only option had been to put her down. The medication was her last hope and it proved to be a failure. 

The recent hot weather merely illustrated a point which finally I had to come to terms with; her lungs were stiffening up. She was now breathing constantly in short laboured breaths at the rate of 50 per minute. On the last day I persuaded the vet to be brutally honest as to the prognosis for her and he stopped dithering and said clearly that there was now no hope for her. 

Attached is a photo of her grazing the grass alongside the area where she would receive her last injection. As you can see she had not lost her appetite. She had already eaten half a dozen pears.
After this little episode I took her back to the reception stable; I talked with her for ten minutes or so, then she turned away and went over to the haynet. It was a good moment for me to leave her to the tender mercies of the vet and his caring stable staff. 

I don't know how long it is going to take for me to be able to talk about her going but writing does help me to express my thoughts.
Thank you all for being an audience. 

DiDi sends her best wishes and says: 'good bye' to you all.

Barry G


----------



## bsms

I wish there were words to ease the pain. Thank you for putting HER first.


----------



## MHFoundation Quarters

Barry, I am so sorry for your loss. You & DiDi both fought a good fight. RIP beautiful girl. 


"Don't Cry For The Horses" 
Brenda Riley-Seymore 

Don't cry for the horses 
That life has set free 
A million white horses 
Forever to be 

Don't cry for the horses 
Now in God's hands 
As they dance and they prance 
To a heavenly band 

They were ours as a gift 
But never to keep 
As they close their eyes 
Forever to sleep 

Their spirits unbound 
On silver wings they fly 
A million white horses 
Against the blue sky 

Look up into heaven 
You'll see them above 
The horses we lost 
The horses we loved 

Manes and tails flowing 
They gallop through time 
They were never yours 
They were never mine 

Don't cry for the horses 
They will be back someday 
When our time has come 
They will show us the way 

On silver wings they will lift us 
To the warmth of the sun 
When our life is over 
And eternity has begun 

We will jump the sun 
And dance over the moon 
A ballet of horses and riders on the winds 
Of a heavenly tune 

Do you hear that soft nicker 
Close to your ear 
Don't cry for the horses 
Love the ones that are here 

Don't cry for the horses 
Lift up your sad eyes 
Can't you see them 
As they fly by 

A million white horses 
Free from hunger and pain 
Their spirits set free 
Until we ride again


----------



## xxBarry Godden

MHF quote:

"Don't cry for the horses 
They will be back someday 
When our time has come 
They will show us the way"

MHF,
What a magnificent and apt poem. Thank you.

She has gone now. She was teaching me to be a caring owner, right to the very last. She might have been ready for her own demise, I was funking it. The system needed my permission to send her on her way and I hesitated.
With hindsight, I was clutching at straws. 

If only when we enter into this world of horses, we understood that there is more to them than slappig on a saddle and riding off into the sunset.

Barry G 


Read more: http://www.horseforum.com/horse-riding/didi-whither-goeth-she-65451/page18/#ixzz1wH1dlT7r


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*A Horse's prayer*

In my dealings with horses I have tried to follow the words of this poem which I discovered many years ago. The poem doesn't scan or follow the rules of literature but the guy who wrote it was a lover of horses.​ 

A Horse's Prayer
Boss, I am your chosen steed to walk and trot with you.
But when each day of trek is done, Please feed me, give me water and care for me. Leave me in my stable, with a clean dry bed and space enough to lie down and doze. Otherwise, let me munch the grass and breathe fresh air and be with friends whilst you’re not there. 

Be kind, be gentle and talk softly with me; Your voice means more than reins alone. Stroke me sometimes that I may gladly carry you and thereby come to learn your secret ways. 
Do not jerk the reins, there is no need.
And do not whip me when the way is hilly.
Never beat or kick me, especially after I did not sense what you meant to do,
Give me second chance to follow you.
Don’t shout; give me comfort when I feel fear. 
This world is full of noise and not as once it was when my forbears lived here.

I must find my role in life and often that’s not clear.
Watch me, and if ever I fail to do your bidding, first look to see if something is amiss perhaps with bridle, saddle, or my shoes.

Do not draw straps too tightly.
Leave me free to move my head. 
Don't force a cold bit twixt my teeth, but please warm it first as best you can.

I always try to do in good cheer the work you ask of me.cand day and night I stand for hours waiting for you to reappear.

My day is yours to order.
An apple here, a carrot there, 
A snatch of weeds from off the verge.
That’s not much to ask for.
Please don't demand of me too much.
Don’t leave me tethered in the rain.
Keep me well shod, the farrier to visit when due.
Examine my teeth when I do not eat.
Don’t take away my shield against the flies by cutting short my tail.
Nor hog my mane which otherwise would divert the rain,

I cannot tell you when I feel thirsty so please allow me fresh cold water freely.
Do all you can to shade me from the sun.
And when I am to stand out in the cold a thick dry coat put over me.

And finally Boss, if I am in pain or when my useful strength has gone;
Do not turn me out to starve or freeze or send me on to owners new;
They did not know me in my prime. 
You did, my Master, you should end my life when the day has come, in a quick and painless way

*(from inspiration by AE Fisher of Benwick)*

_Over the years I have consciously tried to use these words as the code for my dealings with any horse under my care._

_Barry G. _


----------



## MHFoundation Quarters

You're welcome, Barry. Big hugs!


----------



## Beling

I'm heartbroken. It's not the first time, though. After saying goodbye to my last horse, I decided "Never again."

And now I live with two. . .ah well.

Goodbye Didi! I will always remember your beauty, incredible endurance, and the elegant writing describing your life.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*DiDi and the Old Man*

I've been looking for a photo to hand on the wall. Here it is and somehow in so many ways it is very apt.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

In our house, we keep pictures of dogs and horses up on a wall in strategic places at an eye level - ie those walls or corners that one passes by in every day life. So. somewhere in the house there is a photographic momento of each of the dogs and horses which have lived with us.

The previous photo of me feeding DiDi with a pear was chosen because it was reminiscent of her last weeks with me. It is in a way a sad memory but one which brings back the grief of her parting.

This new photoof DiDi is something else. It was located by chance and is very representative of the photographer's skill. DiDi was a sparky ride and few riders were sensitive enough to get the best out of her. The 
Countess was one such rider. 

On that day I watched my horse beat some professionals. She came second only by half of one per cent and one judge said she should have won - but I was well pleased with her coming second at Novice level against a stack of warmbloods.


From this photo one gets a feeling of the raw power of DiDi. It was to be one of her last days of competition - but I am so glad we found these photos of her day of glory.


----------



## gunslinger

You have so many wonderful memories Barry.....she gave you such joy and she was such a beautiful girl.

I can't help but tear a bit when I read your post as it's clear you loved her so.....and how your heart aches now with her gone.

I guess that's the price we all pay for the love and satisfaction we get from valued relationships. 

She was a lucky horse to have had someone like you to love her so deeply and care for her so thoughtfully.

Everything must end. It's never easy. Peace be with you brother.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Guns, The trouble is, I chose her to accompany me in my retirement. I was, for much of my time with her, worried about her outliving me. She was 12, horses are supposed to live for twice as long as that. 

I feel it is too late for me to go find and buy another companion - what do I do now with a room full of saddles, blankets, bits and leather tack?


----------



## AnnaHalford

BG, I've followed this thread off and on since I registered on the forum. I never commented because the levels of knowledge and involvement with the whole story so exceeded my own. I am sorry for the loss of DiDi and she does seem to have been a very special horse. 
However, it was reading this last post of yours that makes me want to chime in with something:

It's not what you do with the room full of saddles, blankets, bits and leather tack which is important: what's important is what you do with your capacity for love and understanding of horses. You shouldn't waste it. 

So what should you do? Get out there, get searching for another companion, make preparations for the eventuality that s/he does outlive you, and get on your way to forging another relationship as rewarding as this one was.


----------



## gunslinger

AnnaHalford said:


> BG, I've followed this thread off and on since I registered on the forum. I never commented because the levels of knowledge and involvement with the whole story so exceeded my own. I am sorry for the loss of DiDi and she does seem to have been a very special horse.
> However, it was reading this last post of yours that makes me want to chime in with something:
> 
> It's not what you do with the room full of saddles, blankets, bits and leather tack which is important: what's important is what you do with your capacity for love and understanding of horses. You shouldn't waste it.
> 
> So what should you do? Get out there, get searching for another companion, make preparations for the eventuality that s/he does outlive you, and get on your way to forging another relationship as rewarding as this one was.


That's pretty darn good advice Barry.....


We all have to check out of this world at some point.

There's a horse out there that needs someone to love and care for it. You obviously have so much love to give a horse..... Why not you?

Maybe, just maybe, this new horse, while not Dee Dee, might just steal your heart.....if you give it a chance......


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Anna, & Guns: if only it were that easy.

Few people, even some of those who have been hanging around the horse world for sometime, ever really get to understand what my idea of a relationship with a horse can be. 

Sports riders, amateur or professional, become fixated with performance, and with obedience. For them the horse is a tool, an essential necessity in the game - the name of which is to win. If the horse doesn’t fit that role, then it will be exchanged for another horse which might succeed. Professional riders, or even seriously competitive amateur riders, would laugh were they to read these words of mine. To such horse riders it is success which counts. 

To me a horse brings companionship. There’s nothing to beat a ride on one’s horse up into the woods on a bright summers day. It can take years to get really close to a horse and it must be a two way process. The mutual trust, the elimination of fear, the rapport - they all have to come together and gel. The horse has to see the human almost as an equal but one from another species. With persistence on the part of the rider, the horse will eventually come to accept that there is less to fear whilst alongside a human.
Maybe the horse doesn’t have to run away from that strange noise. 

For our part, we humans know that a horse cannot live in the modern world without a human as guardian. 

If I am honest the DiDi was _not _the horse I enjoyed riding the most in my lifetime - a HannoverianXCob named William was.
DiDi was not the horse which fitted the best with my plans for retirement; Joe a stubborn carthorse cob was.
but 
DiDi was the horse that expressed back to me, the emotions which I felt towards her. 
Whenever she was highly agitated, when she was close to freaking out, I could calm her, with my voice, my touch, my mere presence. And together we would play whilst working on her fears and hesitations. 

Then along came ulcers and the accursed lung disease. The ulcers could be managed; the lungs no one could not repair. Helpless I watched her remorseless decline. 

Over These last six months I have lived by the words of my own horsey poem - some lines of which read thus:

*And finally, Boss, if I am in pain or when my useful strength has gone;*
_*Do not turn me out to starve or freeze or send me on to owners new;*_
_*They did not know me in my prime; You did, my Master, *_
_*You should end my life when the day has come, in a quick and painless way.*_

Living up to those words proved to be a highly burdensome task. But I believe that is exactly the pledge we make when we take on the responsibility for the health and well being of a ‘dumb’ animal which cannot fend for itself.

Can I find another DiDi , or a Joe, or a William? 
Maybe I could with time, but what becomes a serious question for a retired pensioner such as I is: 

*“Do I have the days left or the physical fitness?” *
and perhaps : “*Do I have the stomach for more potential anguish” *

I think not. 

But in time we shall see. Maybe a horse will find me. Dogs seem to.


----------



## bsms

I don't know what the market is like in England. Around here, there are almost always older horses (say 16-20) that need a home. Many are stock horse breeding, with calm temperaments and experience...but their owners are going to college, etc.

As a brand new beginning horse owner, THAT is what I should have been looking for, I suppose. My relationship with Mia has certainly had its ups and downs...she may be making me into a decent rider, but there have been many times I wished I had taken a different route.

But I've met some 20-ish horses who had some get up and go, but who also believed in bringing their rider home with them. Even some of the lesson horses I rode last summer seemed almost pathetically glad to meet someone who showed them a bit of respect and understanding instead of just slinging on a halter or dropping their feet. The 14-15 year old BLM mustang pony we were given has taken a while to relax, but he's increasingly showing his worth as a reliable trail horse...all 13 hands of him.

Just a thought. I've wondered what I would do if/when on of our horses dies in 10 years. I've met a few horses I wouldn't mind owning if I couldn't ride, and could only take them for walks, but it will probably be 10-15 years before I REALLY find out what I will do.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Maybe a tough little hairy cob gelding - say friendly, stocky, lots of bone and maybe 15 hands - who had fallen on hard times and was in need of rescue.

A fella who'd never found a good home.

If I went looking, no doubt I'd find more than one.

We shall see.

B G


----------



## gunslinger

I'm pretty attached to my mare Lacy......she's the joy in my life.....can't imagine how hard this is on you....but I know how I'd feel...that said....

I think you would be depriving yourself of something you love should you not find another horse.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

It is the end of the month of November, virtually six months since I said my goodbyes to DiDi, In the interim have not bought a replacement for DiDi. Her stable remains empty and the tack room has been cleared of her things. 

Following on after the euthanasia of my little 17yo terrier, Rocky my 10yo Rottweiler, has also been sent on to pastures in the sky.

My own health has also suffered from some unexpected ailments. Interestingly three medical practitioners have said that I have been suffering from clinical depression and perhaps I have been, Odd but saying goodbye to three much beloved pets takes a toll which we humans should not ignore. But I feel I am getting better thanks to the arrival of two rescue terriers - one Westie and one Cairn. They play, they run around, they give cause for me to smile and to walk more. A replacement horse however doesn't make sense to me as yet.

Although, as a result of the undoubted Recession hanging over the British economy, there are thousands of horses looking for new homes. Only the winning, well documented, sports horses seem to find a new home when put up for sale. I fear that the depressed horse market is here to stay in the UK for sometime.

Of late I have been reading this thread back to myself. So it seems have others for the readership figure has almost reached 16,000 - that's a lot. I have printed off a copy of the thread and from time to time I open the file and read an episode or two. Instantly the memories come flooding back. Of course I ask myself if I made any mistakes whilst DiDi was in my care. If I had the opportunity to relive my time with DiDi again, I am not sure I would take the route I did.  But that is with the benefit of hindsight. The eventual outcome was however unavoidable. The knowledge of equine herpes viruses is by no means complete even for the veterinary profession at this time. But one thing I will do if ever I again think to buy a horse, is to have carried out a complete veterinary examination including sputum, urine and blood tests. Previously I have thought that the cost of the inspection would be too high, but now I know that one must put a value on one's own distress in the event that one's chosen horse develops an incurable health issue.

One thing I have also noticed. Whilst I started and largely wrote this thread, a large number of members of the Horse Forum gave me some support at a time when I desperately needed it. As a reader you will know who you are. 

I must say to you all: 
_*"Thank you, your kindly words were, and still are, much appreciated*_."

As I write this I sit in front of some framed photos of her, taken when she was doing well. You know, she was a beautiful horse - although it is also important to remember what a character she was. Whenever I see some juicy pears on a shelf in the grocers, I think of her and probably I always will.

Barry G


----------



## Ladytrails

Barry, I smile to think of you keeping the rescue terrors - er, terriers - in check. I think you must know that you are meant to be around animals. They are good for you, and you for them. DiDi came into your life for a reason, and it may have been that you were meant to see that she was worked up to her potential and to care for her wisely in her last months, as you certainly did. It's rough on you that her last months were so tragic for you, but I think that goes hand in hand with the heart of the man you are - it's impossible to work that hard to save an animal and not be grieved at life without them. If there is another horse out there for you (and I think there is) then you will know when the time is right. 

Take care of yourself - we care and we are rooting for you!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Lady T, thank for your kind words.

DiDi's saddle was sold today and in the process I checked over her tack, which still hangs in the tack room. Of course the memories came flooding back. 

The young rider who has bought the saddle presented as a nice young woman.
Amazingly the saddle fitted both her generous butt and the pony's short coupled but powerful conformation. Round and round the arena and over a few jumps the pair went and the deal was made. DiDi's saddle has found a good home.

My new little Westie terrier looked on. He hadn't known about the tack room before but once he had sneaked his way in, I got the impression he thought the smells of the leather were heavenly.

My old GP saddle is still packed away in its container ready for immediate usage - should the need arise. One never knows.


----------



## bsms

Best wishes to you Barry! I've barely dabbled in riding. It must be very tough. Is there anyone around who might loan you a ride? In Arizona, there are a lot of horses who just need someone to spend some saddle time with them. Is that unknown in England? Might a partial lease work? It almost seems as if I can hear that saddle calling you..."Barry! I"m over here...." :lol:


----------



## xxBarry Godden

*Well what a surprise!*

I had heard that my neighbour who runs a livery yard had found and bought a new 8 yo grey Irish Draught/Connemara mare. I'd seen the animal from a distance and yesterday I weakened in my resolve not to get involved again with horses which I could not ride. 

When I got to see Silver in her stable I could not believe my eyes- it was as though I was looking at DiDi . She had come back to haunt me.

I spent an hour with her. I groomed her thoroughly and then led her in hand in the arena. She behaved immaculately and never put a foot wrong. Her temperament is gentle - she is bomb proof, so her owner says.

Needless to say I fell for her - despite the fact that she is owned by a lady who does not necessarily believe in the principles of Natural Horsemanship. If I get too attached then there might be some problems. So my plan is to take things step by step. One thing is for sure, after a longish period of mourning I am in no condition to ride a sprightly horse.

Let's see what happens. This mare definitely 'found' me, that's for sure. 

BarryG


----------



## bsms

Good luck! Good to 'hear' from you again. And there IS more to horses than just riding, although I rarely admit it in public...


----------



## thesilverspear

I was thinking about you the other day, Barry, wondering how you were getting on. I think it could only be a good thing if you got involved with horses again. You have such a wonderful empathy and understanding for them.


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Folks

It seems to be an age since I last wrote for HF and in the interim a lot of water has flowed under the bridge. The end of DiDi gave cause for a lot of grief in me and only some rather powerful sleeping pills eventually brought me round.
The impact of the death of a well loved horse invokes a powerful emotion in either a man and a woman. In me it led to insomnia.

The mare Silver might be a new chapter in my life with horses but I should have to remember that she is not mine to worry and fuss over. On the other hand her owner is in her late 60s so maybe there is a role for me to play.

Many thanks for your warm welcome back into the HF community. I've missed your company.

BarryG


----------



## busysmurf

Barry Godden said:


> Folks
> 
> It seems to be an age since I last wrote for HF and in the interim a lot of water has flowed under the bridge. The end of DiDi gave cause for a lot of grief in me and only some rather powerful sleeping pills eventually brought me round.
> The impact of the death of a well loved horse invokes a powerful emotion in either a man and a woman. In me it led to insomnia.
> 
> The mare Silver might be a new chapter in my life with horses but I should have to remember that she is not mine to worry and fuss over. On the other hand her owner is in her late 60s so maybe there is a role for me to play.
> 
> Many thanks for your warm welcome back into the HF community. I've missed your company.
> 
> BarryG


 YAY, you're back!!!:clap:


----------



## Bagheera

I am very glad that Silver has found and befriended you. Welcome back!


----------



## xxBarry Godden

Folks

It is my intention to try to write a post which describes how in my opinion and from my point of view horses manage to worm their way into our psyche. The subconscious part of our brain,namely the sector which keeps us up in the saddle and which also controls part of the way in which we respond to grief. In some of us, as in my case, it can trigger the depression which may have otherwise laid dormant in our brain for years.
I am not a psychologist I am merely an individual who over a lifetime has developed a passion for horses. I ride not for aggrandisement in competition - rather because I enjoy the companionship of the horse between my thighs. Of course not all horses exhibit a willingness to join up with the man or woman who is the rider. A bond with such examples is much much harder to develop but some other horses offer early in the relationship their company. That bond enables the rider/owner to better communicate with the chosen horse through the only method available - non verbal communication. There are numerous examples of where the rider must think and decide for the horse and without the bond between equine and human it can be very difficult to come to the correct conclusions.

It will take me a few weeks to put the article together but watch out for it.

Barry G


----------



## Beling

I'm so glad you're back!


----------



## anndankev

Barry Godden said:


> ...
> Many thanks for your warm welcome back into the HF community. I've missed your company.
> 
> BarryG


Somehow I never subscribed to this thread but did read it and your others, so am subbing now. Hope I don't miss seeing your forthcoming one.
I've missed you too,
Ann


----------



## Marcie

I look forward to reading your post.  I like your way with words and want to hear more! 

I have barely touched the surface of the horse world and already I am head over heels.. after a good athletic lesson I can barely walk and yet even while cursing those sore muscles I'm already looking forward to my next day of riding. Instead of becoming overwhelmed with how much there is to know I find myself wanting to know everything and practice everything as much as possible! I look forward to your insight into how they helped you and whatnot. I know they help me! Nothing can erase anxiety better than being horseback, fully concentrating on the moment and the horse listening (or not) beneath you.


----------

