# shot to the heart...



## bmm45bm (Oct 2, 2012)

Well, I guess I received a little more motivation to try and get the weight under control this weekend. Competed in an extreme cowboy trail challenge, which we took 2nd place in which was great. But somehow, the pride was overshadowed by one comment from a lady in the crowd. I really wish people knew how much it stings when they throw something at you. I have gained about 40-50 lbs in the past 6 months due to some medical issues, and got asked at the event quote "if I thought I should be riding that horse, or if he might be better off riding me". When I asked for a little more clarification, I was told I was a little plump. Wow, thanks, didn't notice. 6'2" and around 255 lbs or so, horse is 14.2, 1200 lbs or so give or take foundation quarter horse.


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## Inga (Sep 11, 2012)

Although I am from the camp that a person should not weigh more then their horse can comfortably carry, I hate rude comments like that. I do not understand how someone that doesn't know anything about a person can shout out rude comments like that. Shameful. 

I think that people who are over weight should be cognizant of that fact and ride horses that fit them, ride for shorter times and be working on their weight. I too have gained a large bit of weight due to medical issues so I know just where you are coming from. Keep working at it, and keep loving your horse. You are the one that knows if your horse is struggling with you or not, they don't. If you are not sure, maybe speak to your vet or trainer?


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## bmm45bm (Oct 2, 2012)

I do know I am above the 20 percent, but most rides are short, and always check and give breaks on trail rides, the competition rounds of course are only around 10 minutes at most, I guess I can talk to a vet about it, and continue to work on weight, just though from observations, there are some bigger cowboys doing roping and bulldogging, and cutting, and sorting even on similar sized quarter horses, sure there are some monster quarter horses out there, but for the norm, the catty, quick, athletic types aren't gonna be that large, so are all of these cowboys breaking the 20% rule as well? Just curious.


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## krikitlove45 (Oct 30, 2012)

bmm45bm said:


> there are some bigger cowboys doing roping and bulldogging, and cutting, and sorting even on similar sized quarter horses, sure there are some monster quarter horses out there, but for the norm, the catty, quick, athletic types aren't gonna be that large, so are all of these cowboys breaking the 20% rule as well? Just curious.



I've wondered that too  the guys who owns my barn rides a mare that is probably about 14.2, 800lbs and he is probably around 6'3", 200. He's never said anything to me about me and my horse, and his horse doesn't struggle with him at all. I've just always been curious.


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

Unfortunately we sometimes run into rude people.

My guess is the person that said that didn't know the sting of the way it made you feel.....At least, I hope they didn't....or rather, that it wasn't intentional but rather a slip of the tongue.

So you're 6'2 and 255.....you're a big man no doubt.

Do what you can to work with your weight but know that god will judge a man by what he holds in his heart and the humbleness of his way.

Blow it off and be who you are.....and people will love you because you're genuine in your way and true to yourself.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

You wouldn't have taken 2nd if your horse was struggling, unless you were in a 2 horse competition. Blow her off and keep on ridin'! 

I truly don't know what's wrong with us these days, we really seem to have lost all our 'filters'.


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## BigGreyHorse (Sep 28, 2009)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> I truly don't know what's wrong with us these days, we really seem to have lost all our 'filters'.


That exactly. I grow more shocked and horrified by it everyday.


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## Golden Horse (Feb 20, 2010)

I'm trying to imagine 6'2" and 255 pounds, and wondering what the h3ll the issue is?

This is 6'4" and 250 pounds on a 14.2hh Haffy, yes he is tall, but I don't think he looks like he should be carrying her










I can't think that you look so much different, scratches head


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## caljane (Feb 7, 2009)

A good (= well balanced) rider on a stout horse (I consider a 14.2 hand/1200lbs horse very stout!) can weigh easily more than what is considered ideal weight. My ex was very tall, 248lbs, and rode all day working cattle. It didn't look to me as if his horses were abused. Now, of course he didn't chose a puny 800lbs pony for his chores. A lot of guest ranches / riding stables have weight limits between 240/280 lbs - but for a good reason: a beginner rider bouncing around on the horses back is, indeed, a burden to carry, and as heavier as worse.
I don't think that you need to worry, bmm45!


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## afatgirlafathorse (Feb 21, 2012)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> You wouldn't have taken 2nd if your horse was struggling, unless you were in a 2 horse competition. Blow her off and keep on ridin'!
> 
> I truly don't know what's wrong with us these days, we really seem to have lost all our 'filters'.


The internet happened, where people can make anonymous comments (I recieved a comment from Youtube this morning on one of my videos that I wasn't even RIDING in that said "Which one is the horse?) and some of it bleeds over into real life. Now, if some of these people got a cuff up side the head for their wagging tongues, maybe we could try and contain it to the internet.


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

The saddle can make a huge difference on how much weight a horse can safely carry. A good wooden tree covered in rawhide fits differently that a Ralide tree. A good wooden tree has some flex to it. Most competitors or working cowboys are riding $3000 saddles.


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

afatgirlafathorse said:


> The internet happened, where people can make anonymous comments (I recieved a comment from Youtube this morning on one of my videos that I wasn't even RIDING in that said "Which one is the horse?) and some of it bleeds over into real life. Now, if some of these people got a cuff up side the head for their wagging tongues, maybe we could try and contain it to the internet.


Well, I don't get the behavior on the internet either. And I totally agree with a cuff up side the head for manners instruction.


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## Back2Horseback (Mar 21, 2012)

I wholeheartedly agree with the poster who stated (to reiterate in my own words) that a well-balanced, gentle rider who can move efficiently with his/her horse, makes smooth transitions/weight-shifts, and prepares for upcoming movements yet weighs 250lbs (as many tall male riders DO!) will be, @ the end of a ride, INCREDIBLY LESS HARD ON A HORSE than a jerky-moving, rough, hard-sitting, unbalanced and ill-prepared for transitions (a walk to a canter=flinging backwards and yanking on not only the reins/mouth, but throwing their weigh backwards in the saddle hard, possibly misaligning a horse's rib/vertebrae in the process) 160lb female beginner. 

In the end, unless we are comparing extreme weight variances (100# 12 year old on a 16.2hh warmblood vs. a 300# 45 year old newbie on a 14.2 hh Arabian!) with riders of totally un-equal skill levels on horses OBVIOUSLY poorly fitted to them, then it is a moot point, IMO!!

If you ride a proper horse for your size and SKILL LEVEL, everything else is equal...I find the fact that other "human beings" are so cruel these days very difficult to take. I'm grossed out by some of the things those on this thread have been subjected to. 

Keep riding & loving it!! Those "people" with their cruel and useless comments are ugly and hateful inside and likely are terribly jealous that others are living their horse-dreams and THEY are simply SPECTATORS!!

<3 B2H


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## OneTallDay (Nov 18, 2012)

I wish I could favorite comments like the above-written. Thank you!


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## Inga (Sep 11, 2012)

Dreamcatcher Arabians said:


> Well, I don't get the behavior on the internet either. And I totally agree with a cuff up side the head for manners instruction.


 
No kidding! The internet, along with all the "acceptance" these days has created a generation of some pretty sassy kids. Look at all the 15 year olds that think they are professional horse trainers and will argue with anyone about their "skill" in the saddle and training. What happened to taking pride in learning, treating others with consideration and respecting your elders? We have come a long way but sadly, we should go back some to catch the good morals we left back there in the dust.


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## Back2Horseback (Mar 21, 2012)

Thanks, OneTallDay!

You know, this is a bit off-track, but re: the internet allowing people to rapidly lose their "real-life filter" and beginning to speak cruelly or at least unkindly to people all the time, I had this experience the other day...

I was on FB reading a story posted by a 15 year old girl on either the FB "Horses" site, or maybe it was "16 Hands"; one of those all-horse related subject subscriber-type pages.


Anyhow, her story was about having been written about in her school paper commending her horsemanship and riding prowess. It was quite a favorable article apparently, and she made the point if adding that, "Everyone, & I mean EVERYONE at my school knows I ride and compete at high levels..." Well, okay. So she goes on to say "Some girl [I'm guessing a girl much less 'opular' than she] had the 'nerve' to walk up to ME [as if she is somehow more important than the rest of the student body?] & say that she'd read the article and that she rides too." At this point I can't imagine there being a problem. I was wrong apparently! 

The girl posting her "encounter" on FB goes on to write, "So I said to her, 'Oh you ride? Really? What discipline? What breed of horse? Where do you board? What show did you last attend and where did you place?'"

Apparently, the other girl said, "Oh, you know, I ride a brown horse, a female horse, she belongs to my aunt. Whenever we go there she has me riding in one of those saddles without the horn-thing and we work on the whole jumpy-thing." (Clearly the girl's aunt is teaching her to ride English and they do some jumping)...FB-SCHOOL-PAPER-ARTICLE-GIRL writes next, "Yah, I told her that, 'I do the 'jumpy-thing', too!' Then I laughed at her and walked away. Can you believe some people consider themselves RIDERS AND TALK THAT WAY?" F-girl then added for emphasis "(shakes head and walks away)"...

I know I didn't quote the story identically, but I believe I'm pretty spot-on in regard to what was written, because I read it over a number of times before, as politely as possible, I wrote to the girl who had posted the story.

I essentially told her that at 15, I too, sadly, probably would have acted in the same snobby manner as she had because I was INSECURE and that is what insecure young girls do--put down other young girls, very unfortunately. I wrote that the other girl was probably a horse lover who didn't have all the same access to lessons and such as she did, and it took a lot of courage for her to walk up to little miss school paper article and try to SHARE her love of horses and riding with the girl. I wroite that rather than worrying about being a GREAT RIDER, she should focus more on learning some humility and true HORSEMANSHIP, which involves TEACHING OTHERS who may not know as much, embracing what they do know, and being a damned kind human being! She will grow older and one day realize how little she knew at age 15 & probably (hopefully ) will wish she had been kinder to the other young girl and will feel rather low about the experience.

Finally, I wrote that instead if thinking highly of her re: the fact that her school interviewed her on riding for their paper, I felt sad that she could be so unkind to another unassuming horse-lover. I told her if my son ever acted snobbish rather than proud of his achievements I would readily school him on the difference just as I was trying to do with her...

Doubt it even made her think....I just felt AWFUL for the little rider who wanted to talk horses with another "rider". Ah, whatever. Just being overly sensitive again. Sorry so long, at the start I felt it was relevant. Hope it was a bit so!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

Back2Horseback said:


> Thanks, OneTallDay!
> 
> You know, this is a bit off-track, but re: the internet allowing people to rapidly lose their "real-life filter" and beginning to speak cruelly or at least unkindly to people all the time, I had this experience the other day...
> 
> ...


You know, you're not off topic at all with this. In another form, this behaviour is exactly what I was talking about. We have become so self absorbed and self satisfied that no one else matters and our mental filters have sort of eroded and any old thing comes right out of our mouths. I know I can be very harsh and direct when someone really irks me, and when I really let go I can be pretty darn mean, but I TRY really hard not to let loose very often. I would never say something to another rider about their weight, the type of horse they ride, the style of riding, any of it. I try to encourage others to ride, however they manage it and to enjoy their horses. I find myself hanging less and less with other horse people though because many seem to have become so very mean spirited.


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## Back2Horseback (Mar 21, 2012)

I have noticed certainly that there are two VERY DIFFERENT "schools" of horse-people. IThose who love horses, & regardless of their discipline(s), time in the saddle, how many horses they own or don't, etc...really genuinely LIKE talking/sharing with/learning from other horse-people because of that shared love!

Then there are the know-it-alls, put-others-downers (not a word, sorry!), harsh talkers and those who derive pleasure from simply believing they are somehow better than everyone else because of the afore-mentioned attributes (level of showing/years in saddle/# of horses owned, etc...).
,
I believe we see it here on HF sadly as well. It is less prevalent here than on other internet horse sites however, which is why I enjoy this site so much. The mods seem to work very hard to discourage such behavior and that is teriffic.

As an aside, my trainer, by rights, "could" be one of "those" types. She's done it ALL as far as riding/showing, she is quite well off/owns her farm outright and really can DO whatever it is she desires in regard to horses/her business/etc...She, however, tolerates NO behavior of that sort at her barn. EVERYONE is treated equally, and rather than tossing her accomplishments in others' faces, she mostly keeps her enormous level of experiences to herself, except when relevant to something she's teaching, etc...(Believe me, I am certainly not anti-wealth and tend to run very conservative in my beliefs politically, though am a bit more moderate socially...I simply can't STAND when one allows wealth to dictate or "permit" otherwise unallowable behaviors/treatment of others)...

In fact, she won't tolerate nastiness/poor treatment of others at her barn (including gossip/put-downs of other boarders/exclusionary behavior) whatsoever and will ask boarders who like to "stir the pot", so to speak, to please find other accommodations. She wants her property to be a place of learning not only correct horse-related skills but also correct treatment of fellow human beings.

That's why I am so happy riding there, and I never have to feel "less than" another rider because everyone is treated well, not JUST the boarders/students with the most dough or clought in the community.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## redhorse86 (Nov 18, 2012)

I am sorry you had that unfortunate experience. Especially on a day you should have been celebrate celebrating your 2nd place victory. Sometimes people just plain suck one day though they will say the wrong thing to the wrong person. And that person is going to make them wish they kept their trap shut. Trust me karma is a beautiful thing.


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## Inga (Sep 11, 2012)

It is exactly this snobby attitude put out by so many young folks that would keep me from trying to help any of them or allow them to work with any of my critters. There are a few great kids, don't get me wrong. It just seems like so many know a little and think they have the world by the tail. They are ready to start training horses, think they can give lessons and are blasting off their opinons as fact all over the internet.

This isn't an attack on young folks. Rather, a wake up call to anyone who thinks they know all there is to know. YOU DON'T, YOU NEVER WILL. The best, most knowledgeable riders/trainers are the ones that keep their ears and mind open to learning other ways of doing things.


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## Back2Horseback (Mar 21, 2012)

Agreed! ^^ 
And, to further bring it back to the OP's comments, the BEST TRAINERS treat people and horses with respect...too few people these days, kids OR ADULTS, seem to REALLY GRASP the concept of "Do unto others..." Really stinks!


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## Inga (Sep 11, 2012)

Back2Horseback said:


> Agreed! ^^
> And, to further bring it back to the OP's comments, the BEST TRAINERS treat people and horses with respect...too few people these days, kids OR ADULTS, seem to REALLY GRASP the concept of "Do unto others..." Really stinks!


 
That is the truth. Sad times, really. I see other nurses and PA's in the hospital that treat their patients poorly. You can tell that they have never gone through anything. When they do, they are the worst, whiny patients in the world. I just want to say "yeah, remember that when you are treating your patients next time. 

The comment about the truly experienced, accomplished people being more humble, not bragging or throwing it around is so true. When you truly have it, you don't need to tell everyone about it. When you THINK you have it, that is when the lips tend to flap a lot. 

It is unfortunately that there are people who can't just enjoy the horses and enjoy the camaraderie of the horse world without trying to hurt others to make themselves look good.


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