# *Sigh* Selling her =(



## Sarahandlola (Dec 16, 2010)

Picturesss...


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## crimsonsky (Feb 18, 2011)

aww this makes me sad. you don't think with more time and training (for both of you) that it could work out? 

i have no idea what the horse market is like where you are so i can't really guess if she'd sell or not.


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## apachiedragon (Apr 19, 2008)

Didn't she just spend a lot of time on stall rest? It could be she is just fresh from not getting worked much lately. Did you ever figure out what was going on with her lameness and hair loss?


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## CJ82Sky (Dec 19, 2008)

oh im sorry to hear. it sounds to me like she needs more flat work and from the pics it looks like she's bracing against and/or avoiding the bit, and her ears are pinned in a lot of the pics. that usually tells me there is physical discomfort somewhere. she looks like she needs a lot of trot work to build muscle and balance and then she will be a lovely horse. just remember going slow takes a lot more muscle, effort, and conditioning than going faster or rushed at all.

all that said, if more training for her (and / or you with her) isn't an option, it may be best to part ways. looking for a trade may be a good option as while she is talented, i don't know that from the pics i can see her doing a 3' course properly, though she certainly has loads of talent. as for sale price that is hard to say with how many TBs are out there right now but she definitely seems to me to be sellable with a ton of potential and with the right training and flat work, the potential to be a lovely jumper or even eventer. i just think she needs some holes in her training filled, and to learn to be soft and responsive to a simple snaffle and rebuild her responsiveness to the aids.

best of luck to you and her - she is absolutely lovely!


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## CJ82Sky (Dec 19, 2008)

as an aside i always say when your horse isn't listening to you or there is a disconnect, go back to the basics. take off all the training aids, nosebands, etc., and ride in just a simple solid, single, or double jointed snaffle and that will help you identify pretty quickly where the horse is missing training. is she gaping at the bit? chomping? evading? pulling? work on communication with the simplest of devices and then go from there. i ride all of my horses especially all off season with no martingales, nosebands, curb reins, nothing. just the basics - to keep them AND ME in tune!  it really works if you are willing to give that a try - just know it's a slow method and it does take time!


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## wyominggrandma (Nov 4, 2009)

I am going to say that I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with deciding to sell or trade a horse that you have decided is not being what you want, not doing what you want and making riding a chore instead of fun and enjoyable. Sure I imagine working with a trainer, getting professional help, quick fixes, long term fixes are all possible, but if you are not enjoying your horse, then it is time to do exactly what you are thinking of doing.
The best thing I ever did was trade a 6 year old that I was not happy with, did not enjoy riding and even got to making excuses why I did not have time to ride for a 7 yr old mare that was suited and trained just how I liked her. She is almost 9 and the past almost two years have been so enjoyable and fun, and I love to ride again. 
I advertised her in the local "online ads" wanting to sell or trade the 6yr old for a older well trained horse and Smokie is what I got.
Don't feel bad about giving up, there are way to many good horses that you will enjoy out there and plenty of folks are willing and even want to work with a horse that has issues. Funny thing is, sometimes when the right person climbs aboard a horse that you are not in sync with, that person immediately jells and they work. 
I know how much advice is given for getting a trainer, etc but sometimes a person can't afford a trainer, I know I can't. So, you have to work with what you have and what you can afford and working with a horse that does not sync with you is not fun.


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## CJ82Sky (Dec 19, 2008)

i also completely agree with wyominggrandma - just because she IS fixable doesn't mean YOU need to fix her, nor does it mean that you are not capable of riding or fixing her, just that you want a horse you can enjoy now.

i said something similar in a few threads where people were asking if a sale horse was worth it. i always say ask yourself if you are willing to put the time and money into a horse that isn't what you want now to be the horse you want them to be? or does it make more sense for you to find a horse that is what you want now that you can enjoy riding, showing, trail riding - whatever your personal goals are - now rather than later? at the end of the day that applies to selling also. does your emotional attachment towards your horse warrant you putting additional time and training into the situation when there are other horses out there that may be what you want right now? would you rather have a horse you can do what you want with now, and build the bond over time, or have a horse you have a bond with now but that you can't ride the way you want at this point in time?

at the end of the day the answer is all up to you - and what makes the most sense for you and your wants and needs when it comes to your horse and equine goals.

either way - there are lots of options. sort through them all and see which makes the most sense to you  *hugs* selling a horse is never easy when you do care about the horse, but sometimes it is for the best. follow your heart and gut and i am sure things will work out!


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

Sarah, Judgeing from the many posts you have shared with us, I think this might be a wise decision on your part. I bet you have mulled this over and over in your head for a long time, no? If you have a horse that isn't fun to ride, scares you and frustrates you , and you don't have real help onhand (this forum does not count as real help), then you may or may not be able to pull yourself out of this place. If you can find her a good place and a rider who is just ahead of you on the spectrum of experience and training, then Lola will be better off , too. 
You cannot wish yourself into being a better rider than you are. It takes time, time and more time. There is NO shame in acknowledging this. There are a lot of horses out there that are WAY over my head and I would be really uncomfortable if I had to ride them daily.

For two years I leased a horse that in actuality was Just over my head. I managed, but it was always just by the skin of my teeth. I did get to be a better rider, but riding in fear all the time was not fun.

Having a hrose that I can get up on, go for a ride and pretty much know that he will not hand me more than I can deal with has made me enjoy riding so much more, and though he is not as challengeing of a ride, I feel that my confidence has actually increased, not decreased.

So, this is meant to say not to feel embarassed or anything. Just start looking and be hopeful that you will find yourself a much better suited horse soon.
Wishing you luck on the journey.

Caroline


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## Sarahandlola (Dec 16, 2010)

Thank you all for such kind comments! It is really helping me. I will answer them all in a while I just gotta go get some food =P

But I did read the first post before I went out earlier and it had me thinking maybe I could try again with her. I was thinking of trying a different bit tomorrow. But I always do this! I always say I am going to sell her then someone says just keep trying then I do and it goes well until something happens again =/ 

Oh and yes she had box rest but even before that she rushed her trotting and pulled against the bit in canter. That is why I am gonna try a less harsh bit to see if it will help


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## crimsonsky (Feb 18, 2011)

having said that this makes me sad (it's sad because i know how much time and effort you've put in to this mare already), i do agree that if you're not happy it's best to find her a better fit with someone else and find YOU a better fit with another horse. 

i sold a horse like that - great horse with talent and looks. but we just did NOT get along and it wasn't worth it to me (for my mental health not to mention his) to keep forcing myself to try and make it work with a horse that i just couldn't mesh with the way i can with other horses. i sold him to a lovely amateur owner and they're so great together. i don't regret that decision for one second. 

bottom line - do what is best for you.


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## equiniphile (Aug 16, 2009)

I'm sorry to hear, but I think you will be much happier with a calmer horse. In my area, someone might trade an older but well-broke horse for a young project, just because they want a younger horse and maybe a project, but you're most likely not going to get a perfectly calm, young sporthorse in exchange for her, as she seems to have a long way to go. If you're in a financial situation where you would still be okay if you got barely anything for her, keep an open mind about all inquiries that sound promising. There might be a perfect home that comes along, but they might not be able to pay full price for her.


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## Sarahandlola (Dec 16, 2010)

crimsonsky said:


> aww this makes me sad. you don't think with more time and training (for both of you) that it could work out?
> 
> i have no idea what the horse market is like where you are so i can't really guess if she'd sell or not.


I could put in a bit more effort and try not to be so worried on her. Today she was spooking so much but I made her go past and over the things she was spooking at. It that was me and her a few months ago I would have gotten off. I definitely have more confidence on her but I still don't feel right. I could maybe get a few lessons on her with the BO to see if she can help me relax. I have already told her I was afraid to ride her and she said 'well she is not bold she is just a TB' XD And she is right. She is hardly ever bold when ridden ( Apart from when she had a saddle that did not fit)



apachiedragon said:


> Didn't she just spend a lot of time on stall rest? It could be she is just fresh from not getting worked much lately. Did you ever figure out what was going on with her lameness and hair loss?


Yup...She has been out of the stable about 3 weeks now and has been lunged at least every second day. Like I said she has always rushed the trot and pulling in the canter. She is not lame anymore and it was mud fever causing the hair loss. Nearly all grown back though =D



CJ82Sky said:


> oh im sorry to hear. it sounds to me like she needs more flat work and from the pics it looks like she's bracing against and/or avoiding the bit, and her ears are pinned in a lot of the pics. that usually tells me there is physical discomfort somewhere. she looks like she needs a lot of trot work to build muscle and balance and then she will be a lovely horse. just remember going slow takes a lot more muscle, effort, and conditioning than going faster or rushed at all.
> 
> all that said, if more training for her (and / or you with her) isn't an option, it may be best to part ways. looking for a trade may be a good option as while she is talented, i don't know that from the pics i can see her doing a 3' course properly, though she certainly has loads of talent. as for sale price that is hard to say with how many TBs are out there right now but she definitely seems to me to be sellable with a ton of potential and with the right training and flat work, the potential to be a lovely jumper or even eventer. i just think she needs some holes in her training filled, and to learn to be soft and responsive to a simple snaffle and rebuild her responsiveness to the aids.
> 
> best of luck to you and her - she is absolutely lovely!


She does brace against the bit alot. In walk she has an awesome outline! Then in trot she throws her head up in the air and rushes. In Canter she holds her head really low and pulls. Of course this could partly be my fault because I am so awkward on her. I am all over the place, my legs do not stay still and my rising is just terrible. But that is because I am tense when on her. I rode a pony yesterday who had box rest for four months and had not been ridden in 6 months. I was perfectly fine on him. Not a hint of fear at all. Because I know he would be good and I am more used to him than Lola XD He is my favourite pony =D

Oh and she has been checked for pain all over. Nothing was found. I am guessing it is the bit because I have been told before I got her she has a sensitive mouth.



CJ82Sky said:


> as an aside i always say when your horse isn't listening to you or there is a disconnect, go back to the basics. take off all the training aids, nosebands, etc., and ride in just a simple solid, single, or double jointed snaffle and that will help you identify pretty quickly where the horse is missing training. is she gaping at the bit? chomping? evading? pulling? work on communication with the simplest of devices and then go from there. i ride all of my horses especially all off season with no martingales, nosebands, curb reins, nothing. just the basics - to keep them AND ME in tune!  it really works if you are willing to give that a try - just know it's a slow method and it does take time!


She always has her mouth open trying to get her tongue over the bit. Which is why she has a flash. I am gonna take that off tomorrow and try a different type of bit. I am not sure on what type though...Maybe a single jointed since the one she has now is double jointed. And probably just a regular snaffle or D-Ring. She is always chewing on the bit. And pulling yes.



wyominggrandma said:


> I am going to say that I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with deciding to sell or trade a horse that you have decided is not being what you want, not doing what you want and making riding a chore instead of fun and enjoyable. Sure I imagine working with a trainer, getting professional help, quick fixes, long term fixes are all possible, but if you are not enjoying your horse, then it is time to do exactly what you are thinking of doing.
> The best thing I ever did was trade a 6 year old that I was not happy with, did not enjoy riding and even got to making excuses why I did not have time to ride for a 7 yr old mare that was suited and trained just how I liked her. She is almost 9 and the past almost two years have been so enjoyable and fun, and I love to ride again.
> I advertised her in the local "online ads" wanting to sell or trade the 6yr old for a older well trained horse and Smokie is what I got.
> Don't feel bad about giving up, there are way to many good horses that you will enjoy out there and plenty of folks are willing and even want to work with a horse that has issues. Funny thing is, sometimes when the right person climbs aboard a horse that you are not in sync with, that person immediately jells and they work.
> I know how much advice is given for getting a trainer, etc but sometimes a person can't afford a trainer, I know I can't. So, you have to work with what you have and what you can afford and working with a horse that does not sync with you is not fun.


Thanks so much for this! It made me feel a lot better! I just absolutely adore this horse when I am not on her XD After I had decided to sell or trade her I seen her up in the field and I was like how can I do this?! I am so bad about feeling guilty over nothing..



tinyliny said:


> Sarah, Judgeing from the many posts you have shared with us, I think this might be a wise decision on your part. I bet you have mulled this over and over in your head for a long time, no? If you have a horse that isn't fun to ride, scares you and frustrates you , and you don't have real help onhand (this forum does not count as real help), then you may or may not be able to pull yourself out of this place. If you can find her a good place and a rider who is just ahead of you on the spectrum of experience and training, then Lola will be better off , too.
> You cannot wish yourself into being a better rider than you are. It takes time, time and more time. There is NO shame in acknowledging this. There are a lot of horses out there that are WAY over my head and I would be really uncomfortable if I had to ride them daily.
> 
> For two years I leased a horse that in actuality was Just over my head. I managed, but it was always just by the skin of my teeth. I did get to be a better rider, but riding in fear all the time was not fun.
> ...



Yep I have been pretty much thinking about this for a few months. But before I only decided to sell her because I was scared, upset or angry. Today I felt none of those but I thought it was the right thing to do. And then I feel guilty when I just see Lola in my head...Grrrr...Stupid guilty conscience. I don't even know why I feel so guilty! She won't know the difference XD

I really do want to own a horse that I can ride without feeling terrible. One that I can do anything with and not be scared. My confidence is a disgrace anyways either way. I will need a very good horse that will not put a foot wrong to feel safe again.

I am always so nervous before I get on her. I don't trot for like ten minutes..

But another thing is I have this thing that means I am always in pain. So that could be part of the reason I cannot stay on a horse too long. My back is always sore. I really do not know. Maybe I should just take lessons on the school horses to see if it is really Lola or if it is me.


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## CJ82Sky (Dec 19, 2008)

Sarahandlola said:


> Thank you all for such kind comments! It is really helping me. I will answer them all in a while I just gotta go get some food =P
> 
> But I did read the first post before I went out earlier and it had me thinking maybe I could try again with her. I was thinking of trying a different bit tomorrow. But I always do this! I always say I am going to sell her then someone says just keep trying then I do and it goes well until something happens again =/
> 
> Oh and yes she had box rest but even before that she rushed her trotting and pulled against the bit in canter. That is why I am gonna try a less harsh bit to see if it will help


sarah - just remember, just because she can do better doesn't mean that you and her are the right match. if you are focused on jumping and showing now, then perhaps another horse would be better. 

if you do decide to try again with her and are thinking of going back to basics, i think that is also a wonderful idea, however please know my suggestions of a softer bit and lots of trot (tons like trot until you hate it lol!) is a long slow method. don't expect your first ride to be better - it may even be worse until she realizes it is a softer bit and she can accept it rather than fight it and so on. if you have the patience for it the payoff can be astounding, but it does take time. i'm working through that with my horses (as we do every spring) and we put at least a month of several times a week of trot work into them before we look for cantering and jumping on any sort of a regular basis. i swear it makes a huge difference, but it's not something everyone wants to do.

*hugs* & good luck to you whichever you decide!


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## apachiedragon (Apr 19, 2008)

Sarahandlola said:


> Yup...She has been out of the stable about 3 weeks now and has been lunged at least every second day. Like I said she has always rushed the trot and pulling in the canter. She is not lame anymore and it was mud fever causing the hair loss. Nearly all grown back though =D


Shucks, I was really hoping maybe she was just being frisky from being cooped up. (I haven't followed any of your threads except the one about her leg issues, so I'm not really familiar with her.)

I agree with everyone else that you need to go with your heart on this one. If you two aren't a good match, well, it happens. That doesn't mean you love her any less. If you've exhausted your options, and are still not enjoying your rides with her, then you have to do what you must. I have to give you kudos for being mature enough to realize that not everyone can fix every horse.


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## CJ82Sky (Dec 19, 2008)

sarah - when i posted my last reply i didn't see your reply to us 
you shouldn't feel guilty - if you and her don't click, all the training in the world isn't going to force it. there has to be a need for some chemistry there imo and it sounds like while you absolutely love her, that chemistry just isn't there.

i try to think of it this way - why not let her find someone she can click with and you a horse you can click with?

and in the meantime why not try the bits (like you already are yay!) and see if it can't improve things in the short term. and if they improve that you want to keep her then yay. and if not then when you sell her you know you have helped her make progress as well.

see? win/win/win situations all around!


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## OffAgainOnAgain (Apr 2, 2011)

I'm really sorry to hear about this! But I kind of know what you're going through.
I love my new horse like nothing else! After some ground work, she's sweet as can be. On the ground.
The third time I rode her I dislocated my shoulder and cracked my collar bone because she bucked me off three times and the third time was the charm.

I was ready to trade her for my friends gelding who goes to a different college. But my coach thinks that we are a great match because she thinks if I can learn to correct her problems, I'll have become a better rider in the process and my mare will bond with me throughout the training.

And it is hard! Don't feel bad if you feel the need to trade her in. Like I said, I love my horse and I have already made up my mind that I will work with her for another six months. If she gets better, or even shows improvement, I will keep her. If not, she isn't the horse for me and I need to move on. I want to do it, but I can't spend forever on a horse if I will never be enough for her.

Anyway. Don't be afraid to ride her! But don't be ashamed that you're afraid either. Sometimes when I'm nervous about riding my horse, I think about all the so-called 'rodeo riders' that ride bucking horses for a living (not that I approve, I'm totally against it), but imagine all the times they fall off and pop right back off, uninjured. Don't take my story for an example. I had stayed on for two hours of bucking and ridiculous behavior and she gave a tiny crowhop and I fell on my own head. That's bad riding and balance on my part.

But I totally respect you for being able to come out and talk about this. It's awesome that you are willing to admit you love a horse, but it's not the horse for you.
Good luck in whatever you decide!!


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## CJ82Sky (Dec 19, 2008)

apachiedragon said:


> Shucks, I was really hoping maybe she was just being frisky from being cooped up. (I haven't followed any of your threads except the one about her leg issues, so I'm not really familiar with her.)
> 
> I agree with everyone else that you need to go with your heart on this one. If you two aren't a good match, well, it happens. That doesn't mean you love her any less. If you've exhausted your options, and are still not enjoying your rides with her, then you have to do what you must. I have to give you kudos for being mature enough to realize that not everyone can fix every horse.


well said, my friend!


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## HopalongCassidy (Dec 19, 2010)

I skimmed threw the post. I just wanted to say....(Like some others said)

Go with your heart. I had a thoroughbred mare (My First Horse) My love horse. Well i just couldn't connect with her no matter what. We just couldn't connect. Yes it hurts but what matters the most is your safety and hers. I cried three days. I did it for the best and have no regrets, cause i went with my heart. I hope you make the right decision. (What you think is right) 

Anyway, if i could fix her i'd think about taking her but i'm no horseman/trainer. Well not yet. 

Good Luck, Bye.


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## Sarahandlola (Dec 16, 2010)

Thanks guys! It is really hard. I will probably cry too XD But even if I am selling her I have to ride her etc to make her look a little better. And I have to get her a passport so she will be staying another few weeks before I put her up for sale/trade. I will ask some of the instructors what they think she would sell for. And maybe I will get them to ride her to see if she is fixable.


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## Sarahandlola (Dec 16, 2010)

So I rode her today..In a full cheek snaffle, Single jointed and no flash. I rode her in the smaller arena. Her trotting was less rushed but of course that could have been because the arena is not so big. But she still had her head in the air while trotting. I cantered her once and well nearly ended up on the ground. She put her head down so low and then decided to cut corners and left me hanging on her neck. I have now noticed she seems to raise her head a tiny bit going straight but once we get to the corner she pulls it right down. And it really feels like she is gonna buck but she doesn't =/

Her saddle is also slipping back a lot. I put it at the top of her withers and before I even got on it had slipped off of her withers altogether. 

And well mounting her is a big pain. When I go near the mounting block she swings her butt away from it so I cannot get on. Then she walks forwards and backwards etc. I pretty much have to stretch to get on. Today she decided to walk off before I even had my leg over. She is awful ignorant. And before I get on when I go to tighten the girth she walks away. I dunno why...even when I go to pull the stirrups down she walks away. It is so frustrating. But if she tries it tomorrow I am gonna lunge the legs off of her and she if she will still do it. 

But overall I am happy with how today went. I was alot more relaxed while trotting because she was slower. And she actually managed to trot a few laps without attempting to stop. I am gonna forget about cantering for a while because I don't want to end up on the ground


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

Have you tried either a french link or bitless? I'm not a bitless fanatic, but most of my mare's current problems popped up when I tried to ride her with a bit (two link snaffle). Just got a french link this week - my gelding does better in it, but I haven't tried our mare with it yet. Trooper dislikes bitless bridles, but some horses respond well to them...Mia can get really worked up over a bit!

Saddle slipping: have you read this book? I thought it was well worth $22...

Amazon.com: The Horse's Pain-Free Back and Saddle-Fit Book (9781570762925): Joyce Harman DVM MRCVS: Books


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## Sarahandlola (Dec 16, 2010)

I have had her in a french link for a few months now. And I have never tried bitless. I don't really want to XD

Nope never read the book. Her saddle did fit extremely well when I bought it. But she has lost some weight and muscle so I will have to get that built up again. Another reason the saddle is slipping is because she blows out so much when I tighten the girth it ends up really lose by the time we get going.


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## CJ82Sky (Dec 19, 2008)

few things - first, it sounds to me like she isn't yet ready for cantering at all. trot trot and more trot. a better canter doesn't come from working at the canter. a better canter comes from a better trot. which means that until she is soft and balanced at the trot, her canter will be even worse.

next - you mention the saddle is slipping and you started with it on the withers. saddles should NEVER be placed on the withers as that can cause back pain, chiropractic issues, and also restrict the shoulder movement making it hard for the horse to engage their hind end and back muscles, resulting in a stiff, hollow horse (which you have). the saddle should be back off the withers by 3 - 6" and that will vary by horse. you don't want the saddle on the scapula interfering with the movement of the shoulders, and you don't want the saddle so far back that it is on the kidneys. i'd suggest in this case having a professional evaluate your saddle placement as well as saddle fit, because if the saddle is on her withers, there is part of your problem right there.

in my honest opinion it sounds like this horse needs a few good solid months of trot work on a long rein in a simple single or double jointed snaffle. when she has muscled evenly, will accept you changing posting diagonals without changing rein every few strides (as in no ear pinning, no back tenseness) that to me is a good sign that she is ready to canter. cantering before then will just yield more of the same which you are already used to.

if you are going to rebuild her training in a simpler bit, as i said before, don't expect miracles in one workout. she seems to have quite a few holes in her training and the first step should be teaching her to learn to accept the bit rather than fight it. everything else until she learns that is secondary. that should again imo be the #1 focus. if it means she trots for an hour on a long rein with her head up in the air with NO other signals from you until she relaxes enough to bring her head down and soften and seek a contact, so be it. it may take several rides. but as long as to her bit=brace/fight/evade, the rest is just going to be a struggle. once you and she both realize that bit does not equal breaks, but is simply a telephone line to communicate with your horse, things will start to flow better. just think - if someone always yells at you (translate to harsh bit, stiff hands, etc.) and then FORCES you to listen (tying the mouth with a flash or fig-8), what are you going to do? probably get annoyed, drown them out and ignore them. if they suddenly change their tone, it still will likely take a little while for you to believe they REALLY changed and start to pay good honest attention and decide this is someone you want as your partner. why should we expect any different from our horses?


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## CJ82Sky (Dec 19, 2008)

Sarahandlola said:


> I have had her in a french link for a few months now. And I have never tried bitless. I don't really want to XD
> 
> Nope never read the book. Her saddle did fit extremely well when I bought it. But she has lost some weight and muscle so I will have to get that built up again. Another reason the saddle is slipping is because she blows out so much when I tighten the girth it ends up really lose by the time we get going.


a properly fitting saddle will fit without pads or girth - something any good saddle fitter will do is check the saddle on the horse with nothing else. my guess is your saddle doesn't fit and is inhibiting her shoulder and back muscle movement.


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## Sarahandlola (Dec 16, 2010)

Thank you =D I am gonna do a lot of trot work with her. I didn't realise the saddle should not be on the withers =/ I bought a saddle when I first got her. The shop I bought it out of has a professional fitter. She told me it might pinch her withers. I never thought anything of it. Then she started bucking, backing up, pulling head down etc. I then realised it was the saddle. So I went to buy a new one. This one I have now was a perfect fit for her. It was fitted on it's own without the girth etc.

Maybe I am justing thinking it is too far back because I always had it on her withers. I will check it out properly tomorrow. 

So I pretty much trot her around and around on a loose rein until she relaxes? What do I do when she does relax? Like how do I reward her..just a pat? Or a break? Should I trot around the edge of the arena or should I add in circles every now and then?


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## CJ82Sky (Dec 19, 2008)

Sarahandlola said:


> Thank you =D I am gonna do a lot of trot work with her. I didn't realise the saddle should not be on the withers =/ I bought a saddle when I first got her. The shop I bought it out of has a professional fitter. She told me it might pinch her withers. I never thought anything of it. Then she started bucking, backing up, pulling head down etc. I then realised it was the saddle. So I went to buy a new one. This one I have now was a perfect fit for her. It was fitted on it's own without the girth etc.
> 
> Maybe I am justing thinking it is too far back because I always had it on her withers. I will check it out properly tomorrow.
> 
> So I pretty much trot her around and around on a loose rein until she relaxes? What do I do when she does relax? Like how do I reward her..just a pat? Or a break? Should I trot around the edge of the arena or should I add in circles every now and then?


yeah my chiro and saddle fitter always say that the biggest mistake they say people make is having the saddle too far forward.

as for trot, literally trot ad nauseum. change posting diagonals randomly (this encourages her to stay balanced regardless of the diagonal you are on), change directions, circles, fig 8s all on a long rein. this will force you to use your leg more and her to listen to leg and not rely on the bit for balance or steering.

when she starts to reach for the bit tell her good girl and give her a pat, and go another few min and after she does it again then you can sit and walk (without using the bit for the transition!).

over time she will start to seek out the contact - when she does and it doesn't take an entire ride to get her to seek the bit, but just a few min of stretching on a long rein, then gradually shorten your reins to a more traditional length. a big issue i see is people pick up a rein contact and worry about headset and forget all the work they just put into the trunk . so soft rein contact that follows her movement and encourages her to use her hind and back. 

above all - BE PATIENT. you are asking her to completely change how she moves, how she responds to the bit, how she balances, how she uses herself and asking her to entirely remuscle her body. this takes time. just as if you wanted to get in shape for bikini season you would't diet the week or two before you went to the beach expecting to drop 3 sizes lol! after 3-4d a week of trotting for about a month you'll really start to see a difference. be patient and stick with it - it works. most people get bored with the first few weeks of trotting and give up bc well it IS boring. hence the change of directions using leg aids, etc. also try thinking the direction you want to go and see if she starts to pick up on it. feel what your body does in response to your horse. do you get tense? brace? lean? collapse your rib cage? stop and really FEEL are you even in both stirrups? is your pelvis even? hips? shoulders? listen to your horse's feedback she gives you as you work with her - all that trot work will allow you to start to notice how if you have a bad knee, or a weak lower back, how that affects your horse. horses are the best trainers we have.... i love quiet rides where i work with my horses and feel their body feedback to me when i ask for transitions or lengthenings, or OF, and can feel - oh okay, i shifted, let me ask you again staying more centered this time and see how it goes. ooh that went better! see? sometimes we need to just trot around all day long and listen to what our horse is telling us that we are REALLY telling them.

when it all comes together it's a beautiful thing!


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