# Dreaming of Going Long Distance



## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

The moment when you knew you loved horses was when...

On Clinton Anderson's Facebook page, this statement was posted and it got me thinking. What was the moment that I loved horses? It's a good enough 1st entry for a new blog as any, I suppose! So hello there!!

My name is Joy and welcome to my first journal post! 

Well, first off, to answer the above question, I think that when it comes to horses the word "love" needs to be elaborated on. There are people in the world who love horses, and then there are people in the world who *really love* horses.

People who love horses appreciate their beauty. They rubber-neck them if they are seen during a car ride. They buy horse magazines not just for the pictorial eye candy, but even read the articles. They may buy horse paraphernalia, take a couple lessons or go on a paid trail ride a few times in their life. These people simply love horses, and they may or may not own horses for themselves.

This is versus those who *really love* horses and they are people who can pinpoint a place in time when something inside them WOKE UP, or rapidly "bloomed" within due to an overwhelmingly positive event that happened with a horse. These types of people would live in a barn if they could. They spend just about every waking minute owning, working, grooming, caring, feeding, loving and engaging with horses. If they weren't privileged enough to be a barn rat, they got there as soon as they were able to. If they don't own a horse, it doesn't matter- they will be around a barn SOMEWHERE. They'll simply BE. Around. Horses.

For me, I can't remember a time when I didn't love horses. My parents both loved horses. In fact, my mother in her later teen years was on the verge of buying the horse of her dreams when tragedy struck for her and the potential mare (that's another blog post). However, I DO remember the moment when my love for horses turned into something more.

I was 10, 11, or 12 when I went on a paid trail ride. It was either with my dad or a church group, I can't remember which, but this ride changed my life. I was riding a sweet grey mare named Sugar and she was truly sweeter than her name! The guide asked us all if we wanted to canter and I didn't know what that meant, so I asked. She explained it in the best way she could to a child that it was like galloping, and to my 10-11-12 brain, that meant faster! So yeah, let's do that!

--now don't beat her up too bad, she meant well. And, at the end of the day, whether what she did with a true rank beginner (and a kid at that) could be called foolish or stupid, I am forever grateful for her recklessness... anyway...

At that moment of takeoff, Sugar gave me a taste of something I'd never had before. 

It was my own set of wings that spread out to take flight and together we flew to a place of unadulterated freedom where there was no fear, just wind in our faces and joy in our hearts. I mean- I was FREE y'all! Know what I mean? The rhythmic pounding of that 3-beat gait set my soul on fire! It only lasted a few minutes, but I'm telling you I could have done it forever... So, after coming down to a walk- naturally, I asked if we could go again! Who wouldn't?

Sounds totally hokey, I know. Not to mention cliche. But, for this little girl who had a very difficult and traumatic upbringing, it was a transformative experience. And, it has been something I've been chasing ever since.

Some might call it chasing the dragon. In any case, chasing this dragon is a good thing to chase.

This is where the story gets even more common and I'll give the briefest of details:
Girl grows up
Girl gets married
Girl has kids
Girl's kids get older - time for horses again
Girl is now working through an age-related conundrum called FEAR
Girl buys an OTTB as first horse (**of course**)
Girl never enjoys horsey time with horse that is too much horse (although he really WAS a good boy)
Girl goes through the economic collapse of '06- loses horse, house, car, everything.
Girl comes back from collapse nearly 8 years later
Girl moves to house with acreage
Girl immediately gets to work putting up a pasture
Girl buys two horses before pasture is complete

Now that we are up to speed, this girl right here still has issues with that age-related conundrum called fear. This is even though this same girl owns two of the quietest mares on the planet.

So why am I here? Well, I'm here to document my journey. The journey of chasing the dragon. I'm here to chronicle the events surrounding the fulfillment of my dream. The dream of not being afraid. The dream of becoming a long distance rider. Or, at the very least, to ride without fear. To ride out alone, or at least with one of my kids and not be afraid. I want to ride with joy in my heart, wings in my spirit that has been SET FREE. I want what I had with Sugar. I want to be that girl again.

Soooo, of course first order of business is hiring a trainer. Check. He comes Monday at 3pm to my farm. It will be my first experience having a trainer come to me and I'm apprehensive and excited. There are things I want to tackle, like:

Get... wait, wait, wait. I'm getting out of order. I think an introduction of my mares are in order-

First, we have Nala. She's a bay 22 yr. old QH in semi-retirement. She is my babysitter and has boosted my confidence a few levels up from rock bottom. The girl in the picture laying on her back is my friend's daughter (not me, sadly).










Here's me:










Then, we have Zoey. She's a 16-17 yr. old chestnut half-Arab that has the potential to be my long distance mare. She's a great mare, but as you can imagine, she's a bit more "spirited" than my half-dead, lazy as all get-out, babysittin' QH.

Look at that sweet face!




















Pics were taken from my IG account, so feel free to follow me over there! My user is joyb0218!

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Anyway, getting back to what I was talking about. I'd like to tackle some things I'd like to work out with the trainer. Such as, getting Zoey to lunge (just can't quite get it right) and also finding out how arena-sour she is (she's gotten a taste for the trails and appears very grumpy if we don't leave the pasture). And, as far as the fear issue goes... the trainer has offered to work on that with me too. But, that will have to be my next journal entry- the "why".

Thanks for reading!!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 2 - Why I'm Fearful & Tips That Have Helped Me*

I had my first panic attack in 1994. It led to a month-long series of ER visits, hospitals, diagnostic testing, monitor wearing, therapy-ridden, and medicinally-induced time of hell in my life. That month-long spark catapulted me into years of on and off treatment.

The long and short of it was I was diagnosed with GAPD- short for Generalized Anxiety & Panic Disorder. It’s been one heck of a 23 year ride, let me tell you! And, if I’ve learned anything it’s that mental illness STILL isn’t being talked about enough. It is still stigmatized.

I think the baby-boomer generation (my parents) is the most in the dark about it. As in, my parents can’t wrap their mind around the fact that I’m “anxious”. They don’t understand how and why I can be so “anxious”. As if, I can just STOP being anxious and everything would be fine. Do you want to know why they have that mindset? Because having a mentally ill daughter is too much to handle in their minds. Their generation sees the terms ‘mentally ill’ and they will always gravitate toward the word, ‘institution’.

But anyway, that’s a whole ‘nother blog post (maybe just more of a rant, I don’t know).

So, throughout my GAPD journey, I’ve learned a lot of things, but two of the most important things that I’ve learned that I’ll share here are: what it is in my mind that defines “control” and, 2) the physical aspect, or the brain chemistry/adrenal aspect behind anxiety/panic.

CONTROL: It’s taken a long time to come to this concept and whether or not I have it, or how much of it. When I was little, taking that first canter on Sugar, I didn’t have any sort of control at all- yet I could care less… I had implicit trust. I was naïve and completely ignorant to what could go wrong. 

Now that I’m older, I still know that I don’t have any control, but I’ve lost that trust completely and I *know* what could go wrong. The difference is this- I don’t give anything or anyone a chance to “go wrong”- they are automatically put in jail and I firmly believe that now that I’m a parent, a lot of that goes back to my own parents. That whole traumatic childhood thing I talked about in my first post (found HERE). Now that I’m grown, I see my history in a new way and it destroyed a particular part of me that’s very hard to explain. It changed the way I view the world… coupled with:

MY BRAIN: The physical aspect of GAPD and the wiring of the brain is very complicated (always is), but what I just learned about a year ago came from a very unsuspecting book that I checked out from the library about depression- just a medium, very thin, hardbound picture book with a sad ballerina on the front. It explained things that I never knew before and boy, did it click when I read it because it was so relative to me and what I was experiencing. I’ll make it brief:

It is regarding the fight-or-flight instinct and it goes like this- you’re driving a car when suddenly another car quickly swerves into your lane. You jerk the wheel to get out of the way, nearly missing the other car by inches. After the incident, your heart races, your legs shake, your breathing is heavy and your chest may even tighten up. Now, in a normal person, this trigger-response will dissipate rather quickly because the danger is over. With someone who has GAPD, the response is much more severe and I’ll tell you why.

GAPD sufferers are more vulnerable to everyday ordinary life stresses. During stress, the brain sends signals to the adrenal glands that secrete adrenaline into the body. During the fight-or-flight response, the brain triggers the adrenal glands to produce adrenaline to activate your body and senses. With someone with GAPD, in so many words, the brain is malfunctioning and is consistently sending signals to the adrenal gland to produce adrenaline much, if not most of the time. This creates almost hair-trigger responses to even the smallest of stresses. It’s how and why panic attacks seem to come out of the blue. The illness is your brain is incorrectly sending signals to produce adrenaline. Sometimes A LOT of adrenaline, hence panic attack, comes on or due to a consistent slow-drip your system just eventually crashes, thus causing another panic attack.

What medication does is prohibit that signal to produce adrenaline. But, as every medication does, it can have nasty side effects. Tranquilizers can help too, but again, can be addictive. What I have done to manage my own GAPD is therapy, various medications, using tranqs when needed and a lot of positive self-talk. But that’s not really what all this post is about…

What this post is about is overcoming my fear of riding horses even though I’ve done it hundreds of times. I want to abolish it completely. Yes, my GAPD is tied into all that and kudos to you for reading this far. Nevertheless, it is something I feel like I need to conquer and I can’t even begin to describe what that means to destroy an old friend. Fear feels like my best friend because it’s always THERE. It never, ever leaves my side. And as much as it loves me and has been forever loyal, it needs to go.

Three ways that have helped me this week are this:

1)	I’ve begun to change my thinking about riding horses. I’ve always been proud to talk to horse people about my desire to be a “passenger” and trust me when I say I get a sideways head-tilt every time when I boast about it. They counter with, “You have to ride the horse. Be the leader. You can’t be a passenger- that’s preposterous!” And yet, that’s what I wanted! I guess, I still do in a way, but maybe the wording is wrong. I want to TRUST my horse. I want her to take care of me no matter what anyone can say or argue. And the change is this- I need to view horse riding as exercise. I reckon that I do need exercise; I mean, don’t we all? I also reckon that if I’m going to take a quickly paced walk down the road to elevate my heart rate a bit, why not just elevate my heart rate on horseback and we can work-out together? And the very first order of business is to use my mind to envision a positive “work-out”. I need to fight my mind to not envision a negative one because that is my mind’s go-to response and guess what happens when I do that??? My adrenaline rushes in!!! By not allowing negative thoughts into my mind and focus only on the positive, I’m consciously resting my adrenals. So far so good, but I’ve got some ways to go and having a trainer will help (Lord willing).

2)	Anchoring- I don’t know much about this, but I read that when it comes to anxiety or fear, anchoring is a way to combat it. By choosing an object or mental image that brings a sense of calm, you can utilize its help by carrying it with you during the times you are fearful. So far, what has come to my mind is an image that I saw in a horse magazine a long time ago and wow, it took me some time to find this image again! But, I did it! Here it is:










I just love it so much because the riders look so… relaxed. Maybe they’re going a million miles an hour, maybe not, but they seem so carefree. The reins are slack; their butts are grounded in the saddle, they’re using only one hand… for crying out loud, they’re wearing yoga pants and tennis shoes! I really can’t explain enough why I am drawn so much to this image, but I am and it just makes me feel good to look at it. Maybe it’s because it instills hope- a hope that one day that can be me.

3)	Now, don’t laugh, but the 3rd one is hypnotherapy. I watched a YouTube video about a woman who was a horse trainer and after one session with this hypnotherapist she was cured of her fear. I mean, it seems genuine enough? Check it out here:






Who am I to say they’re lying? Maybe it works! I don’t know, but what I do know is that you CAN download audio recordings of YouTube videos for free and play them through a headset while you lie down in a quiet place. It’s good for just simply quieting your mind at least. If you are anything like me, my mind never ever ever ever shuts down. It feels like a wheel that never tops turning and when I lie down to listen to a recording, it really does relax my mind if only for a bit. And no, you won’t turn into a robot or serial killing machine! If you want to know more on how to do this, just ask. I consider it free therapy!

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Well, that’s really it for today. Tomorrow is lesson day- yippee! I heard we are having bad weather (lots of snow- booooooo!) so I’m praying we don’t have to cancel.

Thanks for reading and I’ll let you know what happens tomorrow. Have a great day!


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## horseylover1_1 (Feb 13, 2008)

I'm definitely subscribing to your journal. I loved reading what you wrote, I suffer from anxiety myself (not to the extent that you do, but it's there), and you have the same name as my horse, so you have to be alright. ;-) I also followed your IG account, I love "meeting" fellow horse lovers.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

Thank you!! It's so nice to meet you, and I love to meet other horse people too. I stalked your instagram a bit, hope you don't mind. I have a big soft chunky gooey melty spot in my heart for Friesian's! Especially mare Friesian's! I used to be a 'gelding' girl, but then I got some mares and now I prefer them 😂 and thank you for the kind words about my name, can't take the credit, but it's a good name for a Friesian mare!!!


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## edf (Dec 20, 2013)

very interesting journal, will def keep reading.

On a side note- we have a few things in common- our horses share the same name though spelled differently ( Zoe) and she is an arabian. While I do not have GAPD, I have Graves Disease- form of hyperthyroidism. While I do not experience anxiety attacks to the level you described, due to the output of excess thyroid hormones and it's inpact on the body, I have periods of increased anxiety or anger (heightened fight or flight response). Sometimes to the point I am trembling. Any little worry about something is so intensified. While my condition comes from a medical condition ( autoimmune disorder) I can understand what you go through since I feel we have common symptoms. You state " the brain is malfunctioning and is consistently sending signals to the adrenal gland to produce adrenaline much, if not most of the time." With grave's, its the thyroid gland malfunctioning. I actually was diagnosed with graves when I went to the doctor about my anxiety.

And there are times I get anxious with my horse for no reason, or very little reason. But guess what? I manage. And I firmly believe you can too. I take things slow- I am sure other people could be further along with Zoe than I am, but its fine. Sounds like you have a great plan set up, and I look forward to reading about your success with your two horses.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

edf said:


> very interesting journal, will def keep reading.
> 
> On a side note- we have a few things in common- our horses share the same name though spelled differently ( Zoe) and she is an arabian.


That's so cool about the same name!



edf said:


> And there are times I get anxious with my horse for no reason, or very little reason. But guess what? I manage. And I firmly believe you can too.


I understand what you mean. However, I feel like I've "managed" too long. It *always* feels like an uphill battle just to get out and ride and so much of the time I simply don't have that energy. I want to "want" to get out there. I "want" it to be my stress reliever, not a stress inducer, you know? I want that "high" back again like I used to have.




edf said:


> Sounds like you have a great plan set up, and I look forward to reading about your success with your two horses.


Thank you so much!!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post #3 - It's a Re-schedule!*

So, Monday looked like this:










But that's not the reason we had to reschedule.

In the morning, the trainer (who I'll call, Dale) txted asking if we should cancel due to the snow. I wanted to say, are you kidding? We're horse people, unless there is a tornado ripping through the pasture, we ride no matter what! But I didn't say that. I *did* say- let's not cancel, let's do this! He said, OK.

Then, a few hours pass and I get a txt that there is a family emergency. Oh well. We will try again for this coming Monday, same time.

On a side note, the weather is FREEZING in these parts... 20s for the high during the day. Not to mention the wind has been kicking up a bit making it seem colder. But, it's going to get warmer and warmer and hopefully on lesson day, it will be nice :runninghorse2:


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 4 - All My Horses...*

:::cue dramatic soap opera music:::


My first real horse purchase was an OTTB named, “Market”. This was before the internet and when I saw an ad in the paper about a horse for sale for $600, I thought- wow! A cheap horse! Didn’t really know much about him other than the price… So, I went to see him (never even went to see any other horses) and of course, wanted him immediately. Don’t even think I rode him, just freaking bought him! 
Idiot alert!! :rofl::rofl:

The funny thing was… was since I had gone on a few paid trail rides, I thought I *knew* everything about horses. If there was any person on the planet who was the most wrong- I was WRONGER. 

Amazingly enough, this beautiful bay TB with a hay belly didn’t kill me. He spooked me off onto my feet once, and nearly had me hanging on his side another, and that was really all it took for me NOT to ride him without my trainer present. I praise God that He saw fit to at the very least have a trainer willing to take me on and give me weekly lessons.

At any rate, I had three small children, worked a full time job and had a house and husband to care for. Over some time I lamented to my trainer that I didn’t feel any more confident in my riding ability after weekly lessons (he had a HUGE canter that I couldn’t sit for the life of me). Her quick response was, “You need to ride him more!” But I didn’t feel safe at all doing that without her, and she was a busy gal. Not only that, he was extremely herd bound and I didn’t know how to handle his constant calling out to his friends when I had him (on top of the spooking). Selling him never crossed my mind until the economy started taking a dump and with my husband’s income taking a direct hit, Market was the first to go in the start of letting a lot of things go… The worst part of this story is that we were almost homeless at one point. It was a sad and scary time.

But, before Market was given to my trainer, she revealed a little bit of a nut-punch when she told me the guy who sold me Market had never even ridden him himself! Goes to show you how IGNORANT horse buyers can be.

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Fast forward to 2014 where I’ve been horse shopping (and praying!) for about a year looking for the right horse. Over the course of many years, I did a LOT of reading and researching about horses. The internet is now in very full swing and boy o’ boy did I have a lot of growing and learning to do! At this stage, I *knew* I was a very rank beginner and I *knew* I needed a half-dead, been-there done-that, babysitter. So, I waited. And, I prayed. However, not only did I do that, I volunteered at any barn I could get to the second I moved out to the country (in 2012). I worked for lessons. I learned how to properly care for horses- multiple horses. I learned how to halter, lead, pick feet, groom properly, blanket, water, worm, proper grain/hay ratios- the full gamut. At the end of it all I was caring for 18-20 horses and getting pretty good! And, my confidence was coming up just being around them all. I was blessed to have some awesome horse people in my life who were patient with me and allowed me not only to learn, but make mistakes too! Mistakes that weren’t life threatening, but good mistakes... As in, I *won’t* be making THAT mistake again!

I had started mapping out the pasture at my house when I saw an ad for a free QH. After a year of watching and reading hundreds of Craigslist, Facebook and Dreamhorse ads, I really found one that sounded good to me- and free to boot! Woo Hoo! I fell in love with her face the moment I saw the picture.

When I went to see her, she was so beautiful (and a bay too- double yay!). Her owner was a bit older and had had hip surgery (I think it was hips, not back, but not sure), so when she rode her, I saw how careful this horse was with her owner.

And I wanted her.

Catch was the owner had another lady that was a forerunner for this free horse. The other lady sounded like she would be a good owner, too. And the owner had a decision to make between me and her. I’m not gonna lie, I really did want this horse and I was trying so hard not to hold my breath. It really was a situation that sounded too good to be true almost so I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high.

When I left, the owner said she’d call me.

Those 2-3 days seemed like an eternity! And when her number popped up on my phone, I thought my heart was gonna pop! After I answered, the owner said in the sweetest voice, “Do you want a horse?...” I screamed, “YES!!!” I was soooooo excited and happy I can’t even describe it.

When the day of pick-up came, it truly was bittersweet. And, I don’t use that word lightly- very, very bittersweet. It was sooooo hard to see the great sorrow in the owner’s eyes and the tears being constantly wiped away over the loss of her great friend. The owner *knew* her horse’s worth; this wasn’t just someone who sells and buys horses every day- this was a family member to her and after 8 years and one colt later, she was leaving to come live with me... and not her. I can only imagine how sad she must have been.

So, long story short, I had to board her at the barn I worked at for two weeks until my pasture was finished. And, once that was done, I brought her home… with a buddy!! His name was Gin and they were pastured up together at the barn and lucky me, Gin’s owner said I could take him to my place so that my new horse… Nala (!) wouldn’t be lonely! 



















Know what's funny about these pics??? The pasture is GREEN! LOL- it's not so green anymore!!!

Long story even shorter… Gin did not work out. And, because he didn’t work out, I got Zoey!
(Gin’s story has to be another blog post!)

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The first time I saw Zoey, she was standing in this run-out stall from the barn that was right next to where you park your car at the barn I worked at (same barn Gin came from). The second thing I saw about her were her FEET! They were *the worst* pair of front hooves I ever seen… (Might as well warn you before this story gets any deeper, that it might make you angry, because it sure made ME angry!)

Now, they weren’t long … they were like… sawed off along the front and they looked like squares!!! I can easily guess that they were long and in a New York minute, someone chopped them off before Zoey was given back to the barn!! Ok, so that was the SECOND thing I saw. The first thing I saw… was how skinny she was.

But that was no surprise because this barn is notorious for getting rescue cases and they do a darn good job rehabbing them (at their own expense)! Now this is where the story makes me mad…

I didn’t really ask about this mare because she was just one of the twenty, but I knew she was obviously new when the owner casually mentioned that this mare used to live on their farm roughly 7 years before and they were just getting her back. Then the owners says that the mare was bred and was skinny from weaning (?!?!)

OK. Take a deep breath. Maybe the breeding was accidental? Maybe it wasn’t? But either way! This mare was bred when they couldn’t even take care of her feet?! Ugh!!! Let alone feed her?!? 

Oh, my poor Zoey…

Anyhoooo… ‘bout a month later, when Gin didn’t work out, Zoey was offered to me. Only Zoey wasn’t free- I had to work for her. A whole whopping $300 of work-- Makes me chuckle a bit knowing that 7 years before they sold her for nearly $3k as a kids trail horse. 

Knowing what I know now about her, imagine my good fortune! But, at the time I was apprehensive because I had only known her a month and I had to make a split-second decision to take her. They were going to give her to me first, then I’d work her off. How’s that for trust?

She ended up being a very good decision!!



















Now she's a fat, little happy sushi roll!

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I know this was long so thanks for reading!! Tomorrow is lesson day!!! 

:cowboy:


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Noooo Shooooooowwww...*

Waited around in the pasture for an hour, no trainer. Left to go pick up my daughter and he rolls in. Says he had the wrong time written down, so we are on track for next Monday... Again.

At least Zoey got herself all groomed up and we even took a short walk down the road!


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## Larasun (Mar 23, 2017)

I just fell in love with this post.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

Thank you, Larasun!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 5 - Musings & Sweaty Things*

I’ve been doing lots and lots of thinking. Too much, actually. And I can only liken it to a hamster on a wheel and the hamster is flying and the bearings are burning up within the wheel!

Mid-week this week, my mom called me very upset. Long story short, she has some issues needing to be straightened out and one of the ways I can help is to hop on a plane and be with her. She’s in Florida- I’m in Michigan and if there’s anything more hair-raising then riding a horse for me, it’s boarding a plane. Soooo, that got me thinking. 

A lot.

The upside to all this thinking is that I believe I’ve come to a God-given epiphany. Let me explain.
I had been praying for quite some time about my fear and asking God to direct me to the right place or right information where I could overcome this. Not just about horses, but in general, you know? And, every week my dad and I had been shopping at antique malls for something to do and this one day, buried beneath a rubble of old, dusty books was this book called, “The Conquest of Fear”. Uncanny, right? I bought this very old thing, and read it here and there, but never really dove into it- until now.

But let me pause, and reflect on some other thoughts before I speak briefly about the book. Words mean a great deal to me. As in, a person can explain something, or even read something, but unless a word is relational, the value of it can be lost. The best way I can explain it is this- take the word “peace” for example. The definition of peace would go along the lines of being safe, or calm, right? Freedom from disturbance or violence- it is a condition.

Because of my childhood, I realize that much of my anxiety stems from seeing danger around every corner, every tree or every… horse. I had no peace the first ten years of my life and “harm” was a very real threat on a daily basis. The epiphany is is that I realized I simply had no peace. BUT, I wouldn’t classify peace the way Webster would as given in the paragraph above, I would better classify it as an absence of harm or threat of harm (that relational thing, remember?). 

To live in true peace, it would be a state where it was *impossible* to inflict harm. I mean, if there was any kind of threat, then it wouldn’t be truly peaceful now would it?

So when it comes to horses, my fear of harm overrides any and all motivation to take that risk of riding. And, it’s the same with flying! I’m terrified of flying because of that threat.

Now… back to the book. Basically, there is a statement (pivotal truth?) that goes along the lines of this- what if there was NO harm? What if we could live our lives knowing no harm would befall us? I know this may not make sense, but I’m trying to make some! Because everything we do from doing the dishes, to crossing the street, to driving our cars carries risk. What risk you ask? The risk of two, very distinct things to me:

Pain or death.

And guess what? I’m not afraid of pain! Although I am afraid of death (who isn’t), I can’t control that, so why worry. I’m afraid of HARM- 

For me, THAT’S the distinction and I don’t even know why that’s so crucial- it just is. And, I need to let that $*^& go and live life like I’ll never suffer harm. It’s just… soooo… much… energy… worrying all the time and my anxiety holds me prisoner to it. But, gaining fresh information gives clarity and after all, knowledge is power, right?

And this all goes without saying that living a life free from harm doesn’t give us the right to be reckless, either. And in the famous words of Forrest Gump, “that’s all I’m going to say about that.”

Another interesting aspect of my over-thinking, pivotal, epiphany-ical (is that a word?) week, I came across this little couple minute video and my socks were blown off watching it! So true to my experience! Watch it if you have a couple minutes-






Anyway, I thought it was good and it helped me to start- er, I mean STOP beating myself up about not riding. I feel sooooo guilty and why? My horses are well taken care of, they *hardly* work, so why wouldn’t they be happy? I don’t mind feeding them, it’s all good there, but you know how it is. People love to say, why have horses if you don’t ride them?! Phooey! I need to be comfortable! If I’m not comfortable riding, then I shouldn’t feel guilty!

But I do feel guilty over Zoey for a different reason as Nala is old and suffers from a bit of arthritis, but Zoey is mildishly young, and sound- physically *and* mentally, and I KNOW she could be better used somewhere else. I feel like she’s being wasted.

And that brings me to the lesson!!! The trainer came yesterday and that’s really what this post needs to be about!!! But a muser’s gotta muse!

So, the trainer made me feel a bit better about me feeling like I’m wasting Zoey. He is coming from an angle of seeing more than not, horses not being taken care of, poor nutrition, abuse, constant stalling, etc. and he said that from his point of things, Zoey is a well-cared for horse and she’s most likely better with me and to trust him- she’s a happy horse just lazing around the pasture. Which I already knew, but I guess I didn’t think about all the horses out there that might not have it so good. You know, seeing things from another perspective.

So the trainer and his girlfriend(?) came and I have to say it was pretty eventful! But now that I’ve typed so much, I’m getting really tired!!! Ugh!! So I apologize if this goes by really fast!! Anyway, the pasture was too muddy (equals slick) to ride, but that was ok by me because I really wanted to tackle more basic things like saddle fit and lunging. Not to mention talking about my fear issues and what goals I’m looking to accomplish.

We tack up and he’s watching me and he is seeing nothing wrong with the saddle or its fit (what was UNFIT though, was fat, little butterball Zoey, LOL!). He asked me to lunge her first to speculate as to what I could be doing wrong and it was a quick diagnosis of me being too far behind the driveline and that’s why she speeds up on me and that it’s OK to pull her head around and step in front of her to stop versus just expecting her to stop when I say whoa (even though Nala does that – different horse, different training I guess). Ok, that was an easy fix, now let’s try lunging her on her “bad” side…

And this isn’t where things get “eventful”, by the way, but it did get exciting! Because… she wasn’t having any part of it. The trainer felt like she definitely has lunging experience, but it was quite possibly rushed and never really done all the way on the other side. So, Zoey gave him a bit of a fight and reared a few pop-ups in resistance. She didn’t try to run him over which was good, but some hearty smacks on the neck with the training stick got her feet moving. It took some back and forth of switching directions to really get her in the groove, but she caught on eventually and in the end was really breathing hard and sweating like a pig!! Well, pigs don’t sweat so I don’t know how that phrase came into being, but she. was. sweaty.

Thank goodness we got that out of the way before events starting getting eventful, because next thing we know, here come two big steer from the neighbors holding pen trotting up to the pasture!! Ahhh!! Crap!! Last thing I need is for them to crash through the fence--------> again.

The trainer’s girlfriend held Zoey while the trainer and I herded 5-6 cattle back into the pen. That took about 30 minutes which SUCKED. What sucked harder was the girlfriend got worried, unhooked Zoey from the lunge line leaving the saddle on to come help us and lo and behold Zoey rolled in it (SHOCKER). I’m pretty sure the tree is ok. Did I mention taking 30 minutes out to corral cattle SUCKED?

Then, the other neighbor’s mini-pigs come trouncing over right after and we just pretty much hung it up after that. The bonus part of this whole story, if you’re still with me, is that one of the mini-pigs is named after me! So, it’s a bit funny to yell at this little pig, yelling in my own name. I talked my neighbor into using my name so that was nice of them. I do that to most of my livestock owning neighbors and friends. There’s also a chicken named after me and the best part is “little” MUST go first. They’re always, “Little Joy”, LOL!

Anyway, the goal this week is to just lunge Zoey every day and work on just changing directions and getting her some exercise. The other goal of riding (he thinks) would be to come to his barn where they have an indoor arena that has good footing. He reasons that a lot of my fear issues will be resolved by just more time in the saddle. THEN, when I feel better there, THEN we can transition over to Zoey at my place and tackle specific goals then. He feels that my fear situation isn’t that severe, especially seeing my mares for himself and he can see that they are sound minded, quiet, etc. and that I just need to develop more confidence in myself versus working out “horse” issues that don’t really even need fixing. I mean, we all KNEW that, but now that he has seen my place, seen my horses, he needs to see me RIDE and with the wet weather, it’s just not wise to do that in my pasture and I understand that. So, we have an appointment next week!!!

There’s one more thing I want to say, but screw it (remind me, it was about the hamster/wheel thing). Now I’m really tired!! It’ll have to wait…. Thanks for reading!!! Happy trails!!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 6 - New Beginnings w/o Old Fears*

Some time ago, I put an ad on Craigslist seeking out a riding instructor. I actually kind of forgot about the ad because I’ve been making plans to go ride at the trainer’s barn- the one who helped me lunge Zoey. I set up a time to come this past Thursday, but on Sunday night I got a text from a girl answering the riding instructor ad that I placed. After conversing through email a bit, we set up a time to come out on Tuesday. And, I have to say… we hit it off right away! It was one of those ‘clicking’ things- we just clicked! She’s super cute, about to graduate college in a horse management program and has been riding her whole life. She was wonderful with my girls and got their first ride in for me for this year, so I am happy, happy, happy!

Getting Zoey to trot was a hoot. This… chestnut… mare… was ****Y! She epitomizes the term ‘fat n’ sassy’! LOL! And, she really didn’t *do* anything naughty, but boy those ears and that face were not happy. Thankfully, she got over her major attitude- eventually. She shakes her head too and to be honest, that’s what got me a few times. She’d be ****y and I couldn’t read it well, so in fear of her doing something foolish, I’d jump off. I’d get back on though, but I was really scared to do it. And, that’s really why I’m even doing this blog. I don’t want. to. be. freaking. scared!

The great news about this post is that after seeing her ride and seeing her work through Zoey’s ****y attitude, I rode her after and I’m so happy to say that looking back, I didn’t have ONE DROP of adrenaline hit me. I think with all the activity of talking, getting to know someone new, listening to their words of wisdom simply had me so busy engaging, that it never even occurred to my head to be nervous. Not only that, I could SEE that if she was going to do anything naughty, she would have done it *now* on her first ride of the Spring when she’s fresh, you know?

What was even funnier still was getting her to canter! But it was sweet too because this mare really tried to give it her best but it was clumsy to say the least. The riding instructor, who we’ll call, Maggie thinks that she’s hardly ever cantered. I would probably agree. She said that if Zoey was a kid’s trail horse, she most likely just followed along with the other horses and that’s all she ever did; so, cantering was probably a no-no. She’s simply not used to it.

So, on to Nala we went after Zoey and I was amazed to see Maggie ride Nala’s bit trot in a bareback pad! Without stirrups! Nala was a show horse in dressage and Maggie wasn’t surprised. She even got her to cross over and knew a lot of her ‘buttons’. She was amazed that after 7 years she still knew most of her training. It was fun to see the ol’ gal strut her stuff and she looked proud doing it.

We made plans to do another lesson for this Tuesday and I can-not-wait!! Our goals right now are to just get some saddle time in and later we'll work on some bigger stuff.

Thanks for reading!! Happy Trails!!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 7 - Two Firsts*

I made a quick two minute video for my journal here! Today was so nice that I fixed some areas of fencing, groomed Nala, and... drumroll.... I rode today all by myself! First time this year! I even trotted, woo hoo! I'm so so happy.

Unfortunately, I totally forgot to take some video while I was riding 

But I did get some video of my daughter riding a bit...

Enjoy!







-- Joy


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 8 - Stretched thin and getting my head kicked in...*

I’m not sure why, maybe someone can explain to me how horses always seem to be the tipping point when it comes to my mental health in my life. Everything seems to build over a period of time and then bang! Something happens with the horses and it plunges me into an anxiety-fueled, depression-esque bender.

My life over the past month has been really hectic, for starters. On top of that, there are issues at work that put me in a steady state of nervousness (remember that blog post I made a few posts back about the after-effects of long term adrenaline bursts? Yeah. I’ve had a tad too many.) leading to erratic sleep patterns, overeating, headaches and anxiety. It’s just been really bad.

It makes me so sad because all those things rob me of my joy. And, much of my joy (not all) comes from my mares, obviously!  It boils down to wanting to *want* to interact, groom, pamper, train, and ride them. And, when I’m in these funks, that ‘want’ is a million miles away and here we are mid-July and I’ve ridden not even a handful of times thereby infusing more guilt and anxiety. UGH.

I guess this post is a pity party! So sit down and grab a snack. Hang around and cry with me, LOL! Maybe there will be dancing at this party! Hahaha… nah. More like napping. Speaking of napping, all this stress, anxiety and depression makes me incredibly tired. The fatigue is debilitating in every possible way that can be thought of. So… the horses get fed at least and for that, I’m thankful. I know they’re living the dream, eating, sleeping, napping, staring into space, etc… Oh! Almost forgot! And trying to kill me.

This is that “tipping point” I was talking about. So, the farrier comes out the other day. Did I mention Zoey is hard to catch? It’s her only vice and yeah… I was “that horse owner” who kept her horse’s halter on all the time because she was hard to catch. BUT. She’s only hard to catch on the day the farrier is showing up! Anyway, I seen these absolutely HORRIBLE videos of horses who had horrible accidents because their horrible owners left their halters on and they got caught up and tangled on something horrible. So, after seeing that, off came her halter. I had a brilliant (and I *mean* brilliant) idea to construct this nylon loop with Velcro on it and fasten it around her neck because I can totally come up to her and just grab this “collar” and the Velcro is weak enough to rip in the event of something horrible, but strong enough for me to just grab it when someone like the farrier shows up. Well, the Velcro was indeed weak and ripped the minute I grabbed it to put her halter on. Long story short, on top of all my stress, fatigue, anxiety I can’t catch her when the farrier shows up.

We get Nala done (who is a saint, I just love her) and here we go to Zoey… who immediately runs off. Farrier blocks the exit so we are in the smaller paddock and she can’t get out to the bigger pasture. I will admit that due to my stress/fatigue/anxiety combo my patience was thin which in turn lead to me putting maybe a bit too much pressure on her and she kicked out at me. Wait, no, my bad, she nearly took my friggin head off!! That’s when my farrier was like, “No, no, no… that’s unacceptable” in his gruff, biker voice (my farrier is a horse trainer slash Harley Davidson kind of dude who actually rides his motorcycle to his appointments) and proceeds to take the halter from me and kick her A$$.

After moving her feet for a while, he got her cornered in the barn and when he got her to face him was able to get the halter on and lead her fat, round butt outside huffing and puffing like a smoker running up stairs.
And then, get this! She tries to nuzzle me while he’s trimming her feet!! The nerve!
So, the farrier gives me an assignment. Get her in the small paddock, move her feet till she squares up (with her eyes of course and not her heels, LOL) and I can halter her. Do this every day for at least a month and then when he’s back, he can see the progress. I agree to do this even in the midst of contending that she’s untrainable because she’s too smart. I also agree that maybe this will be good with my stress/fatigue/anxiety combo --- not! Why can’t I just strengthen the Velcro on my handmade collar?!!?

Just kidding.

So, back to the tipping point. After this happens (and it has happened before), it’s almost like a trauma because I think about all the what ifs. What if her feet would’ve made contact? What if she does this to me every time, what if she gets worse? What if I can’t handle it? On and on and my brain goes into hyperdrive and further into the dumps I go. Well, that’s what happened. For two days I was just down. I realize how trivial this all sounds, but that’s the lovely thing about mental illness. I just doesn’t take much, isn’t that great?! But this time, this morning, I decide that I’m going to push through. I’m going to force myself to get out there and work with her, shaking or not.

I go into my storage room and I get some colored ropes to section off the smaller paddock. Kick Nala out of it. Check. Zoey is prancing around like, uh oh. What’s UP?!

I grab the halter. She proceeds to move out for about one whole minute. She trots around and then faces me. What happens next? I halter her.

She is just tooooo freaking smart. So, I go, OK. Let’s rest a minute (associating the halter with rest/reward) then take it off and try again. Off she goes for another whole minute. She faces me. On goes halter. Rest. Repeat one more time (going to try and do this three times per session, but not sure if this will be necessary). She trots around for even less time and lets me halter. We rest, I praise, I de-halter her and go inside. 

My mom who saw the whole head-kick scene two days before, was like, you’re done already?! I was like, yeah. I’ll probably do this whole friggin’ thing every day for a month and then the farrier will show up and I won’t be able to catch her, just you watch! Those freaking super smart Arabs are enough to give anyone a meltdown, I swear.

But I was very, very pleased with the first day. And, I’m feeling better already. Thanks for reading and allowing me to whine!


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## falling (Apr 13, 2014)

Awesome journal- keep it up. Just wanted to quickly say there is absolutely no excuse for a horse ever kicking out at you! Get after her if she tries that again. I personally love using treats as rewards, so for a while it might be a good idea to have a treat in your pocket for her when you catch her. Don't let her see it etc. until AFTER you've completely caught her.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

falling said:


> Awesome journal- keep it up.


Thank you so much!



falling said:


> Just wanted to quickly say there is absolutely no excuse for a horse ever kicking out at you!


I totally agree. Nothing quite as discouraging as your own horse trying to take you out 
And I don't mean out for a drink either...



falling said:


> I personally love using treats as rewards, so for a while it might be a good idea to have a treat in your pocket for her when you catch her. Don't let her see it etc. until AFTER you've completely caught her.


Thank you for the tip! I'll admit that I was really good on the whole treat thing, but I did let that slide. So today, (day 2 of training) after I got her haltered (she ran around for about 5 minutes this time), I let her eat some of Nala's soaked hay cubes. She really loved that!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 9 - Heart Attack City!!*

Well, it's been very rainy here, so I've only been working with Zoey every other day or so, but...

!!!!!!!!!

Day before last... drumroll please!!!!!

She *actually* walked up to me and let me halter her!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHH!! This is momentous!!! And has never happened in the history of Joy and Zoey...

I'm so excited. And very hopeful and still going to continue working with her on this and I can't wait for drier weather and yes I realize this is a run-on sentence but I'm too excited to care!!


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## QueenofFrance08 (May 16, 2017)

Love reading this! I too have anxiety and am having to deal with getting back into horses without the confidence I had riding as a kid!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 10 - The Ugly, The Bad, and The Good*

Soooo… here we are post-farrier visit.

You may be wondering, did Zoey run off and try to kick your head off again? 

Or, did all that training pay off? Resulting in a contrite walk-up like moth to flame at the sight of a halter?

Well… I guess you could say I was right- she’s just too smart. 









As much as she stood for me to halter her when we were ALONE, she ran the minute the farrier showed up. And… I looked like a complete numbskull. Oh well. The farrier just reckons she’s comfortable with me and no other people. Does that mean he is gonna show up every day now and get her used to him? Nah, he’s too busy and not an idiot. Sooooo… you choose your battles. New game plan is just for him to text me at 10 minutes out and I’ll just go out and halter her and then stand there. I don’t know, maybe during the waiting I’ll have a revelation or something.

But, that’s not the “ugly” of this post. It’s just the bad.

The ugly is something REALLY ugly and I hesitate sharing it because, A.) It’s a really long story and, B.) It’s just really, really personal and, C.) This blog is about horses. But, I will say this: sixteen days ago, my 3rd child who is nearly 15 tried to commit suicide by taking a lot of pills. Long story short, she is ok, but after a 24 hour hospital stay, it landed her (of course) in a juvenile mental facility/hospital. It was a very scary and emotional and traumatic time (still is). However, I have hope now because we’ve all learned a lot and therapy has helped also and she has/is getting the help she needs. It sounds cliché, but you never think it can happen to you, or your family and that’s what I thought, but here I am. And, I think this is all I’m going to say. At least for now.

The GOOD is that during my really hard emotional time dealing with the after-effects of it all, I engaged in some retail tack therapy for Nala. It was such a spirit-lifter. I mean, c’mon, horse people! You know what I mean, right? When you’re really, really down, isn’t it a natural thing for y’all to just run out and buy a new saddle?!









We also just this Friday, packed everyone up and spent a day at Cedar Point as we desperately needed some laughter, life and smiles all around as well. And, after all, the whole family isn’t going to get enjoyment out of a new saddle- just me, LOL! Soooo… it’s nothing fancy AT ALL. Seriously. Just a basic English saddle and bridle set (in black, woo hoo!) with a new regular pad and an extra wither support pad. I’m so excited!

On the flip-side, I hesitate to confess this, but I’ve been riding her in a Western saddle with an English bridle and I realize that I look like a complete doof. I mean, not quite this bad though:









But, it’s pretty bad and I am seeking to change that.

And, I’m really excited about it too (did I already say that?). Hopefully, I’ll receive it this week and I can’t wait to try it out. What’s even MORE exciting than getting new tack is entering my first horse show!!! I know this is going to sound CRAZY and maybe even a little dumb, but in all seriousness with my anxiety full tilt, I have found that it is good to focus on something positive and I truly need something positive right now.

I heard of an online horse show through The Budget Equestrian on YouTube and I checked it out for myself. I have to say that I’m pretty excited about doing something like this! It gives me something to be excited about, something to work towards, something fun. And, it’s perfect for me who is sooooo outside the horse show circuit in sooooo many ways. Not having a truck and trailer at this point is my biggest hurdle; however, even then, I’m not sure I would have the gumption to attempt going to a show on my own. With this, I can do it all from the comfort of my own pasture, which is fun!

Besides, I reckon with my desire to eventually go long distance, this will be a good start to riding alone more, even if it’s just in my back yard pasture. It will give me some direction and saddle time, at least. I’m still working on finding an LD mentor before I really attempt riding out alone. So, that’s on my agenda for the future.

Well, I guess that’s it for now. I’ll share updates on the horse show as they happen! Keep us in your prayers, I would really appreciate that. Thanks for reading.


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## phantomhorse13 (Feb 18, 2011)

I am very glad that your DD's attempt was not successful and hope you all get the counseling you need.

Horses are good therapy, so hoping your new tack for Nala fits all involved.

In terms of finding a distance mentor locally, are you on the green bean groups on the book of faces? They can be really good starting points. I suspect your region also has a group of it's own (I know the NorthEast and SouthEast do).


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

phantomhorse13 said:


> I am very glad that your DD's attempt was not successful and hope you all get the counseling you need.


I am very glad too. Believe me when I say that when I meditated on the possible thought of planning her funeral, it gave me the thankfulness and gratitude thereby preventing me from becoming overly sorrowful about the whole thing. She's alive! It truly was what I needed to keep the clarity and levity and focus FOR HER. And yes, therapy is helping so much and like I said, we have learned so much.



phantomhorse13 said:


> Horses are good therapy, so hoping your new tack for Nala fits all involved.


Me too! I can't wait for it!



phantomhorse13 said:


> In terms of finding a distance mentor locally, are you on the green bean groups on the book of faces? They can be really good starting points. I suspect your region also has a group of it's own (I know the NorthEast and SouthEast do).


Book of faces!! I had to read that three times and then I laughed myself silly!

Yes, I am on all the groups there and they have been really helpful. I guess my hangup is just *actually making that first ride* ALONE. I rode out once- alone, but it was only about 500 feet down the road before I turned back- and not because I was scared or anything (I had a beer in me, so I was feeling pretty ballsy), I just wasn't planning anything and it was simply a spur of the moment spin down past the barn. I even trotted back! That was the summer before last though, and I haven't done it since.

I guess the answer is baby steps. But I can't seem to drum up the motivation to do that... sigh...

However, with all that being said, I do have an email address for a local mentor and I'm going to email her now~


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 11 - Firsts!*

Hi everyone! Today's post involves my first vLog! And, I'm also excited to share that I will be volunteering at an endurance ride on Sept. 30th! I've made an awesome connection through the AERC Facebook page and this person just so happens to *literally* live down the road from me so we've been conversing through FB messenger. Can you believe that? Me neither. So-- I've been really asking questions and soaking up information and I am very encouraged. She suggested going to a ride just to see what it's all about, to volunteer, talk to riders and the vet and make all those "unknowns" become known. So that's what I'm doing and I'm counting down the days till I can participate!

I had a bit of a rough day yesterday at work and couldn't really keep it together due to various issues that are a mashup of everything I wrote about briefly in post #10, so I came home to regroup. I cleaned out the barn really good, groomed Nala (which is kind of a funny story that I'll write about in a minute) and made my first vLog video! I wanted to get on video and chronicle my new saddle. Hopefully, in the future I can go on to tape the online horse show and long distance adventures that I'm anticipating having. 

However, as you will see in the video (which I tried to make REALLY short, because if a video is longer than 10 minutes, I tend to get bored), things just didn't work out 

But, back to the Nala story... 

And, speaking of BUT.

I noticed that she had some yucky yucky's on her lady bits so I hooked up the hose to our laundry tub so I could run warm water on it. I grabbed a soft sponge to help get it clean and it must have felt so good to her and must have been so itchy that when I rubbed it off with the warm water, she literally leaned so hard to the side that I thought she was going to fall over! She was acting like she was on a boat tossed at sea and I was worried she was going to completely slump over! Poor girl, LOL! Must have been driving her nuts! I apologize if this is all too much info, I just thought it was funny 

So, here's my first video. I'm still getting used to my movie editing software--






P.S. Did you like the part where I slammed the saddle against my butt? Isn't that how you try out a saddle?? LMBO!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 12 - I Did It!*

Today was a great day! I have been riding in the pasture circling cones, walking, trotting, etc. and today, I ventured outside the pasture and walked down the road and around the house! I'm so happy!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 13 - Having Fun!*

It's been a great week! I got to meet the person I've been conversing with on FB and she's really experienced with horses and endurance. She looked over Zoey and feels like she would be a good candidate for distance riding. She looked her over and I guess the only downside to her "frame", if you will, is that she is really heavily muscled in the back end and *may* have trouble cooling down. But, that's all iffy as we won't really know till that time comes. It was a great visit and I got a lot of my questions answered! She offered to trailer her own horse over for a ride some time, so that will hopefully happen in the near future.

As far as riding goes, I'm super excited to say this week has been my greatest week for saddle time! When my new friend asked me what it was that got me interested in distance riding, I didn't know how to answer right away, because I really didn't know why, LOL! Then it hit me-- it kind of "forces" me to put in that saddle time. If I 'know' something is coming up or someone is coming over and I need to ride, then I will. So in that respect, it's safe to say I'm a very goal-oriented person and it's exactly what I need to get out there and ride.

Some time back, I bought 4 cones from Tractor Supply and thought they would be good for me when I ride in the pasture. It turned out to be a pretty good $40 investment as I've been using them a lot. I set them up in a line to weave in and out of at a walk, and then at a trot. I've also set them up in a diamond shape, kind of like barrel racing without the "race" where I loop around each one. I'm learning that with all this riding, Zoey and I are really learning to communicate and I find that fascinating. I was reading the comments on an equestrian YouTuber video and that person ("he who shall not be named on HorseForum" (as he isn't well liked on here) commented something along the lines of learning how to talk to your horse. Learning about each other. And right now, it hit me that Zoey is learning about me on her back and I'm learning about her under me. We are learning how to talk to one another, and the results of that are me being able to trust her, and THAT is building my confidence.

Today, I actually had FUN riding down the road! I didn't want to stop because Zoey was really being amazing. Nala kept calling for us, so I didn't go as long as I wanted to. I'm thinking that Nala will just get bored with us being out and eventually give up calling. We'll see.

A word of advice to you fearful riders out there: if you really want to get over your fear, you just have to DO IT, you just have to saddle up and go. It really is true, that half the time when I don't want to ride, I push myself to at least saddle up. And, surprisingly once I've done that, my nerves are gone and I actually find myself wanting to ride! Now that I've been riding this much, I'm eagerly anticipating the next ride, the next goal~

Which is.... going nearly a mile down the road and then back... by myself. I won't say what my next goal is, I'll save that for another blog post!

Happy Trails!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 14 - Trail Rides in the Fall...*

Are the best!

Even though it's not "officially" fall, the trees are very beautiful right now. Our black walnut trees are shedding their leaves and they fall so fast and because they're small, it sometimes looks like a blizzard from our living room window! I love it.








​
It started out very foggy in the morning- but the sun eventually came out and burned it all off and it turned into a perfect opportunity for a wooded trail ride!

One of my riding buddy's came over and we had to do some heavy grooming because my girls were muddy from the rain a day or two ago. I swear, they are both like a couple of piggies and like to roll a lot.








​
Once that was done, we hopped on and rode out down the road and into some woods nearby. Lots of the leaves have already fallen, and they are that vibrant deep pinkish coral color so it almost feels like you are walking on rose petals.

There was a nice breeze through the trees and Zoey was *super* excited to be out on the trails. She kind of prances down the trail, it's so funny!










​We only had one little "snafu"... and that was when what sounded like a deer rustling in the bushes scared the crap out of all of us and Zoey haphazardly backed up really fast right into Nala, and Nala backed up really fast to get out of her way. We almost all got tangled up, but it got worked out. And, the BEST part about that is...... !!!!! Thinking back on this, I will say that (in amazement, I might add) it didn't even occur to me to get off! *Normally* when things get a little pear-shaped, my very first instinct is to hop down. And, in this instance, it didn't even cross my mind! That is huge, people!


So, all in all, we rode for quite a while and it was a really good ride. Thanks for reading!!



​


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 15 - A Whole Lot Of...*

Nothing...

Because...

HEAT!

Record breaking HEAT!












My poor girls in their newly budding winter coats have been hanging out in the shade of the barn all day and when they do come out, it's to the water bucket! Poor things!


So, when it's in the mid nineties with a ton of humidity, I just leave them alone.


The exciting thing though... is the endurance ride I'm going to on Saturday!!













I know that I mentioned it in a previous post, but I'll say it again, I am so excited!


On a different note, I sent my saddle back for a 16" seat, so I'll post on that when I get it and maybe do another video??


Anyway, thanks for reading! Just wanted to touch back and give a little update even though there isn't anything new really.


Happy trails!​


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## phantomhorse13 (Feb 18, 2011)

Have a great time at the ride tomorrow!!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 16 - Dedicated To The Pressed Noses*

This post is for all the outsiders looking in... 

All the outsiders who want to be in, and...

All the… just… outsiders… to the sport… LOL! (Ran out of options, there)

I’ll -first- say that the… day… was… AWESOME!

Gorgeous weather (eventually), no clouds, soft breeze, warm enough, clear views, leaves turning with the fall trees…. BEAUTIFUL ---- CLEAR --- BLUE AND ORANGE couldn’t be better.











However, the night before, I didn’t know if I was going to make it having had a nasty burger from McDonald’s after the football game in town. I woke up at 1:30AM nearly having problems from BOTH ends and severe cramping! My apologies if that’s TMI! 

After the pain subsided, I fell asleep wondering if I was going to be able to get up at 5:30AM… and I didn’t. I managed to get up and out of the house at 6:45 though, which turned out to not be so bad, but THEN, I got to the state park and couldn’t find the campgrounds!!!

I asked a lady in a booth and she kindly directed me to the right place OUTSIDE the park… like huh?

Oh well.

Got there around 7:30, having just missed the 50 milers start out and their vet checks, oops! No biggie though since the 30 milers were heading out in the next 15 minutes.

But let me set up the scene here… the campground was like a square, and all the campers, horse trailers and trucks were backed up along the two edges that butt up to the woods, and their horses in a temporary pens on picket (??) lines either behind or next to their rigs. In front of the campers, trucks, etc. was a long row of water buckets; and, somewhat behind that were a couple picnic tables to sit at.

Some good things to know here, everyone is responsible for bringing their own water buckets, hay, electrolytes, etc. and setting them up prior to the ride so their horses can drink, eat, whatever. I’m assuming it’s a major faux paux to not bring your own stuff and then proceed to let your horse drink out of everyone else’s water bucket, LOL! 










Anyhoo…

My part in volunteering was just to help the “timer” lady write down times in and times out after the hold time. To break down what this means is that, let’s say a horse and rider team are doing the 30-mile loop, it means they will have to complete TWO 15 miles loops with vet checks in between. For this ride, they come BACK to camp to do this, it was not out on the trail, like I assumed.

For the ride, they will have (1) vet check when they begin, (2) a vet check after the first 15-mile loop, and (3) a vet check at the end of the ride (I’ll talk about these in a minute).

Once the (1) vet check is completed and they are cleared to ride, they will wait until the timer calls out the time to leave, giving a 5-minute warning.

At the start of a ride, some riders choose to hang back and do not want to leave with the first of the crowd due to “race brain”… Oh! I heard lots of new terms! And, I’ll try to jot down as many as I can… As a little caveat, I think it’s easy for those who grow up or are veterans of the sport to have “old eyes” to all of this and can no longer (through time) see the novelty in it ---- and that’s not a bad thing! It’s just a natural and normal progression of things. However, for newbies, it’s good to get a fresh and new perspective from another newbie because (I don’t mean this in a mean or bad way!) the oldie’s just take a lot of it for granted after many, many years and rides (which is normal). ---> Hopefully I’m explaining what it’s my mind accurately when I say this and I’m not offending anyone! 

Anyway, once the timer yells out that they can go, the ride starts. Some walk their horses to the trail, and then hop on, and some just start right out riding. Some horses were jiggy, some horses were calm. Most riders and horses warmed up, trotting or cantering circles while waiting for the timer to call out the start. The coolest thing to see (and I didn’t bring my camera! DOH!) was in the early morning fog, when the horses were coming up, they had that fire-breathing dragon thing going on with the steam coming out their nostrils. So cool!











Then… the crew waits…

And, once the first loop is completed and riders start returning, the timer walks out to meet them coming off the trail. The rider yells out their number and their return time is jotted down.











Here’s where it gets a bit complicated…

Once they return, they have to, as quickly as possible get their horse to “pulse down”. This means that they have to get their horse’s heart rate down to 60 BPM. Most riders took the pulses themselves, some asked for courtesy checks from the vets standing by. Tack comes off and some horses are sponged down with water.

After the pulses come down, then they are vet checked. Here is where I’ll explain what happens… 

the vet takes the pulse
the vet listens to gut sounds
the vet picks up each leg and checks tendons/feet
the vet makes the rider take the horse in hand and trot down about 300 hundred feet and then back











--here is something funny about the trotting in hand! A few of the riders were so old (!!) that they had to have someone else trot their horse for the vet! How COOL is that though!! These people were doing 50s!! And they had to be in their 70s?!?! Amazing!!

About 3-4 horses came up lame during the vet check and could not continue (and that was sad). When I asked about this, I was told that there could be –any—number of reasons why a horse comes up lame. Some examples were:

Stone bruises
Suspensory/tendon injury
Pulled muscle
Incorrect shoeing

And all of those things may or MAY NOT be from this ride. Some maybe had done too much over the summer, too many rides, not enough rest, not used to the terrain, farrier issue, body condition, weather, etc. It really can be anything, as there is no true predictor of how and when an injury can occur. 

In any event, one rider couldn’t complete the first 20-mile loop on the 50 and her friend had to go through the rest of the ride alone. Another rider who was riding with her young daughter couldn’t pass the vet check and another couple offered to take the daughter with them so she could complete the ride (how cool was that??).

So, HERE’S THE DEAL—when the horse pulses down, they have exactly 30 to 40 minutes to rest, eat, stay limber, drink water, etc. And, that was the hard part for the timer, getting the times from the riders/vet as to –when—the horse pulsed down. And then clocking ahead to know when to tell them to leave on the next loop. Apparently, on some rides the timer doesn’t give any warning as to when they need to set off again, but for this ride, the timer gave 5-minute warnings to the riders. It was a complicated job! Because there were like, 40 riders!

Then, after that 30-40 minute rest, at the 5-minute warning, the rider should mount up and they have to –once more—go by the vet mounted up at a trot for one last look before they head out. Once the vet gives them thumbs up, they head out on the next or final loop.

I used a 30-mile ride as an example, however for this ride there was a 12-mile novice/intro ride, a 25-miler, a 25-miler competition, a 30-mile and a 50-mile.

And, at the last return, the vet check process starts again. Only this time, on a final loop, they are done-done. Once it’s complete, their forms are turned in (with lots of grading and writing!), they can do whatever they want. Most of them probably go nap somewhere!










So, during napping, the times are then calculated. UNLESS, you want to weigh yourself and your tack and then compete for “Best Condition” to which, not everyone choose to do.

I was amazed at the range of riders here. Some were eager to know their standing, some didn’t bother. Some just packed up and left after the final vet check, some stayed another night. Once the ride was over, some non-competitors took their horses for a nice calm trail ride. Some riders mounted up and unmarked all the trails.

All in all, it was a wonderful information overload! And I am so so so glad I went. I can definitely say with the utmost confidence, if you are interested in entering into this sport, you must, must, must go to a ride. Preferably without your horse on the first one and just volunteer!

Learn:

How riders enter the ride
How the timer works
Learn and observe the vet checks
Good questions to ask
How to get out of your comfort zone a little bit
What you can do to help riders and horses during the ride
What it takes to be a crew member if needed for some riders


Seriously—go to a ride! I know it’s early! I know it may be a bit of a drive! I know you may not know ANY ONE! But, if you are serious about getting into this, the experience is INVALUABLE, people are nice, they will talk to you and answer your questions. And, if you are really serious, trailer out and ride the trails on your own or with a buddy and get familiar with the terrain.

One of my long-term goals (possibly in the spring) is looking into renting a trailer and heading out there myself. It’s going to take some major planning, but I think it will be worth it because I would LOVE to be ready for this next fall!!

So exciting!! Stay tuned!!

Thanks for reading!! Hope it all made sense!!

PS. None of the pictures are mine, just added for a bit of illustration... Next time, I won't forget my camera!


:faceshot::faceshot::faceshot::faceshot::faceshot::faceshot::faceshot:


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## phantomhorse13 (Feb 18, 2011)

I am glad you had such a good experience! I am curious as to what ride you were at, as I have never heard of having both a 25 and a 30 mile LD on the same day. I think a friend of mine was there riding the 50; if I had put that together with where you are, I would have had her make a point to find you and say hi.

I love hearing about rides from newbies! Its not only fun to hear that perspective, it is also helpful to know what was confusing, so I can make sure to go over that stuff really well with people I mentor. Your riders were super lucky to have a timer that gives them a 5-minute warning - that doesn't happen around here, so you better keep an eye on your watch!


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Great post @*Joy Brock* ! I've volunteered a couple of times this summer and feel like I've finally got *most* of the terms and the general flow of things down. I made the mistake of volunteering as a pulse checker at a ride about a month ago and was in over my head, to the point that I felt like a drag on the rest of the volunteers. Next time my hope is to volunteer as a vet scribe- I've been told that's an excellent role to learn a ton- to your point about lameness and pulls, I am very interested in continuing to learn about how to be on the lookout for things that might lead to a pull.

I hope you'll keep posting!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

phantomhorse13 said:


> I am glad you had such a good experience! I am curious as to what ride you were at, as I have never heard of having both a 25 and a 30 mile LD on the same day. I think a friend of mine was there riding the 50; if I had put that together with where you are, I would have had her make a point to find you and say hi.


Thank you so much! I am so glad I had a good experience too! 

I made a mistake in my post (which I can't seem to edit now??) on the rides.

There _*was*_ a 25 and a 30 LD on this day; however, there was only ONE 25 and that ride was competitive (I mistakenly posted that there were two 25s, my apologies).

I was at the Metropark Express Ride in Milford, MI. Heard a couple of New Yorkers were there!



phantomhorse13 said:


> I love hearing about rides from newbies! Its not only fun to hear that perspective, it is also helpful to know what was confusing, so I can make sure to go over that stuff really well with people I mentor. Your riders were super lucky to have a timer that gives them a 5-minute warning - that doesn't happen around here, so you better keep an eye on your watch!


I'm so happy to hear that it was enjoyed with me being a super green newbie! I was really excited to write it all down as soon as possible while it was all still fresh.

I did hear that at most rides there are no 5-minute warnings, which I can't really imagine. The timer did an excellent job keeping it all together! When riders were coming in in groups and jamming up the vet checks, it got really complicated!

As far as confusion, I think that that *was* the most confusing part was keeping all the times straight. Learning about rest periods in general and how they all correlate with the ride as some rest times were longer than others depending on the ride. It's definitely one of those things you need to DO in order to fully grasp it. Explaining it is really hard.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

egrogan said:


> Great post @*Joy Brock* !


Thank you, thank you, thank you!



egrogan said:


> I've volunteered a couple of times this summer and feel like I've finally got *most* of the terms and the general flow of things down. I made the mistake of volunteering as a pulse checker at a ride about a month ago and was in over my head, to the point that I felt like a drag on the rest of the volunteers.


Volunteering to be a pulse checker is definitely a bold move! LOL--

I can't even get a pulse on my horse when she is half asleep and being very still! And there were some horses there that were jumping around a bit, so I can imagine how hard that would have been!

For this ride, there were two vets and about 4 students following along. And, not only that, a lot of people were simply just walking around with stethoscopes draped around their necks, so....



egrogan said:


> Next time my hope is to volunteer as a vet scribe- I've been told that's an excellent role to learn a ton- to your point about lameness and pulls, I am very interested in continuing to learn about how to be on the lookout for things that might lead to a pull.


I am right there with you on this one. It for sure was one of the most interesting things to observe. After years of horses, I am only *now* able to see with my own eyes when a horse is off. 

As far as my own horse, I understand it will take time here as well to get a good feel for how she rides and then eventually be able to tell when she "feels" off under saddle. At this point, I wouldn't really know... But I'm working on that! Hopefully, she'll never be off and I won't have to know -- 



egrogan said:


> I hope you'll keep posting!


Thank you!! I hope to keep at it too!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 17 - Some Reflection*

After the past few days, all the thoughts, memories and feelings from the endurance ride on Saturday have liquefied into a shimmery brain pool in my mind. The little shimmers and flecks representing recurring or strong facets in my thinking when it comes to this sport. Not to sound too mystical, but that's just it, the epiphany, if you will--

That this is a SPORT!










And, I don't know why, but just as an incomplete puzzle might lay before you begging to be finished-- a piece missing here, a piece missing there... it simply takes time. And perseverance to plug in those pieces. So when it comes to endurance riding, more and more pieces are coming into line and fitting in to complete that puzzle for me. And, one of those pieces that just clicked, is the simple fact that this is, indeed, a sport!

What's the point of this, you ask?

Well, one of the keywords for this entire blog is the word, fearful. And, before I get to the "meat" of this post, let me tell you one of my horse horror story's (I mean, because we all have one, right?). It's not a long story by any stretch, but I'm sure we've all heard something similar in our horse journey's and I'm sure I've mentioned it before so forgive me, but it goes like this: I read in the news one day about a lady who was riding her horse down the road/trail and she was dragged to death. The end.










Seriously, this did happen around 10 years ago and and few miles away from where I lived. It was a horrific thing that shook the horse community and has stayed with me ever since. But, let's be logical-- in all reality, these are things that I did not know:



_I did not know this lady or her riding ability._
_I did not know her horse, it's age, it's temperament, it's training, etc._
_I did not know how long this owner owned her horse or even if she did own it._
What I do know, is that it's a story that absolutely haunts me.

So, in the midst of my endurance "puzzle" and brain mulling, I've come to a place of understanding in this statement: fear absolutely cannot abide in this sport. It needs to vacate and never return. Like, move out- permanently.

That's obviously not to say that DANGER or RISK are not involved because we know for certain that any equine related activity carries risk of injury. But I'm talking about *fear*.

The point of all this is in correlation to the sport of endurance riding; it is the interesting, underlying trait that is required of a serious athlete-----> no fear. It is,_
Bravery coupled with concern for welfare of the horse. Bravery without recklessness, yet combined with a quiet, assured confidence through experience and knowledge.
_
_







_​When speaking to my endurance riding friend, she made it a point to emphasize the fact that she does not dabble in sports psychology when it comes to fear. She said it in a way that gave me the impression that she simply doesn't have time for it nor does she have the compassion or patience. At the time, I wasn't quite sure what to make of it; however, at the ride, it was another puzzle piece that snapped into place.

Why?

Because fear holds you back. It restricts you. Listen up newbies and fearful riders! -----> In this sport, you *have* press on, you *have* to do what you have to do; which is, A.) condition your horse (and this is most often done *alone* as you cannot depend upon anyone else to get it done for you), to----> B.) finish the ride (which ultimately everyone who competes, rides _*their own ride*_-- alone.). And if you are afraid of being alone, you won't make it in this. You just won't.

I believe in a mentor's eyes, what they are looking for a in "potential" endurance rider, or newbie is a tenacity to win. They are looking to see in a rider a certain drive. Any hint, or spark of fear is almost held in disdain among them. 

*I can see that now, where I could not before the ride!











*I also believe that there is a stigma to riding alone. Too many magazines, articles, blogs, interviews, forums chronicle or 'survey' riders who ride alone versus those who will not ride alone. And I also believe that we simply do not hear enough about riders who DO ride alone. We hear too much about rides going wrong and we don't hear all thousands upon thousands of rides that go well. I would be remiss if I didn't state that I've been a bit irresponsible in my logic and reasoning skills when it comes to horses! The fact is--- SO MANY things go RIGHT! When we concentrate or focus with pin-point accuracy the negative, it tends to give us terrible tunnel vision. And, I'm going to do my darndest to quit that!

Because.....

Coaches, mentors or other endurance enthusiasts want to mentor an athlete without psychological obstacles. By saying that, I think many or most are looking for an endurance rider already "in progress", a rider who ALREADY has miles under their belts and don't have those barriers. Maybe not all, but I would confidently say most.

And, if I want to make it to next year's ride or any other ride, I have to squash the fear and press forward. I have to condition my horse. I cannot let my mental illness, fatigue, or fear complicate that, or guess what??

It won't get done!!

And I want it done!! 

!!! I WANT THIS !!!










I have a vision of finishing a ride where my family and friends are there to see and it comes with a great surge of *good* adrenaline when I think about it. THAT is what I want.

_*And that "wanting" squashes my fear.*_









​
Thanks for reading! Happy trails!


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## phantomhorse13 (Feb 18, 2011)

Joy Brock said:


> The point of all this is in correlation to the sport of endurance riding; it is the interesting, underlying trait that is required of a serious athlete-----> no fear.
> 
> Because fear holds you back. It restricts you. Listen up newbies and fearful riders! -----> In this sport, you *have* press on, you *have* to do what you have to do
> 
> And, if I want to make it to next year's ride or any other ride, I have to squash the fear and press forward.


I think your first statement is not true. Can I show you endurance riders who have *no* fear? Sure - and chances are they are 20-somethings or younger who still bounce when things don't go well. But I can show you a lot more people who have learned they no longer bounce and are fearful of all kinds of things. But that is where the last part of what I quoted above comes in.. how bad do you want it?

I think part of being an adult rider is accepting we _have_ fear and then figuring out how to deal with it so it doesn't stop us from achieving our goals. To use your example of the woman being dragged to death: perhaps that means we have covered stirrups or ride with open stirrups bars on our saddles or maybe we don't buy that 3 year old OTTB to make coming off less likely. But while we are aware a dragging incident is possible, it doesn't stop us from riding.

I have a fear of heights that approaches phobia status - I don't even like ladders. I was given an opportunity to ride Tevis, which is infamous for narrow, scary trails along the sides of cliffs. I had a very clear choice: not go or find it in myself to work through the fear. I went. People who watched my helmetcam video commented that most parts didn't seem too bad and I am quick to tell them that was because I was too terrified to even turn the camera ON for many sections of the trail. I trusted my horse and am not afraid to admit in some places I closed my eyes and grabbed mane. 

Another personal example for me is riding with traffic. Many years ago, I had the horrifying experience of watching a friend and her horse get hit by a pickup. The only reason the horse I was riding wasn't hit instead was because I happened to be going first and the truck came from behind us. Since then, I am afraid of traffic. In some circumstances, I can deal with it on the short bits of road I need to ride along to get to my trails. Other times, I dismount and hand walk (and part of me still cringes when the vehicles go by). I am sure some riders would roll their eyes and have no sympathy or tolerance for that - that is fine, as I certainly don't want to ride with those people.

I think its excellent that you have found the motivation to work past your fear.. but that is not the same as not _having_ fear.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@phantomhorse13

I understand what you are saying.

I guess I should have clarified better the difference between fear and _irrational_ fear. Or, the difference between being nervous and so afraid that it's debilitating.

I tend to border on the fear that is debilitating. As in, hearing the story about the lady being dragged and it then prevents me from riding! And, *that* is just downright ludicrous. THAT is being a wimp of the highest degree! LOL - and that is what ISN'T going to cut it in the endurance world!



phantomhorse13 said:


> I have a fear of heights that approaches phobia status - I don't even like ladders. I was given an opportunity to ride Tevis, which is infamous for narrow, scary trails along the sides of cliffs. I had a very clear choice: not go or find it in myself to work through the fear. I went. People who watched my helmetcam video commented that most parts didn't seem too bad and I am quick to tell them that was because I was too terrified to even turn the camera ON for many sections of the trail. I trusted my horse and am not afraid to admit in some places I closed my eyes and grabbed mane.


I love this. So much. Big kudos to you and I am in complete envy! If I can accomplish an _eighth_ of what you have accomplished I will be a blessed woman indeed! Just so you know, I'm a big fan of yours on YouTube and stalk your channel regularly!  Your videos are amazing and give me a great deal of hope and excitement!



phantomhorse13 said:


> Another personal example for me is riding with traffic. Many years ago, I had the horrifying experience of watching a friend and her horse get hit by a pickup. The only reason the horse I was riding wasn't hit instead was because I happened to be going first and the truck came from behind us. Since then, I am afraid of traffic. In some circumstances, I can deal with it on the short bits of road I need to ride along to get to my trails. Other times, I dismount and hand walk (and part of me still cringes when the vehicles go by). I am sure some riders would roll their eyes and have no sympathy or tolerance for that - that is fine, as I certainly don't want to ride with those people.


I am so very sorry that happened to you and your friend. How horrible!! That would be so very traumatic and again, big kudos to you for overcoming that and still being able to ride in traffic! And, let me say that any person who wouldn't have tolerance or sympathy for you in a traffic situation would be a real &^%$! But this kind of goes with what I was trying to communicate in my post-- nothing traumatic has happened to me! I merely *hear* something traumatic and yet somehow I'm working through crazy fear and I hate it! But that's all part of living with GAPD...

It's like a person who is so afraid of speaking in public, their palms sweat, they shake and even in some cases they vomit. And in all reality, they aren't even in a life-threatening situation. It's a mental thing, you know? 

Although, I'm not at the point of throwing up, I have experienced anxiety to the point of shaking and sweating, and that sucks. And I can SEE how other riders in endurance don't have the tolerance or understanding of that when it comes to riding horses. It's hard for confident riders to empathize with that. And, it's OK. We all have our hangups in one way or another!

But yes, you are right! It's THE question that rises above all others: _*How bad do you want it?

*_I definitely want it and I don't want irrational fear to stop me :grin::grin::grin:


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## phantomhorse13 (Feb 18, 2011)

Joy Brock said:


> what I was trying to communicate in my post-- nothing traumatic has happened to me! I merely *hear* something traumatic and yet somehow I'm working through crazy fear and I hate it! But that's all part of living with GAPD...


I just want to make sure you stay kind to yourself!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@phantomhorse13

I'm trying!

You can see right through me, because yes, I can be hard on myself


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 18 - The P2B Ride!*

I volunteered to be a very, very "unofficial" photographer for this ride and what a day it turned out to be!

It poured rain all the way till around 9AM and the ride was set to begin around 10. When the storm got done, the sun came out and the skies cleared to a crisp blue! It was a perfect day for a ride! Or, well... sort of perfect... not so much to some riders and I'll elaborate in a moment.

I got there around 9:45, however people didn't really start showing up until around 10:30, and when they did-- boy o' boy did this little staging area get CROWDED. It got to a point where nobody could come in and nobody could come out. After all was said and done, heard there were 70 riders! Wowza!

The set up of the ride involved coming in, dropping off your horse, having someone watch your horse while you drove your rig over to the ending point of the ride and then having a shuttle bring everyone back over to begin the ride (hope that makes sense!).

I kept thinking to myself hour after hour after hour, ok, it's going to start *then* I can pee.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

Nope.

I didn't hit the bathroom for HOURS! LOL! I thought my bladder might have ripped!




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Any way, I snapped lots of pics of unloading, tacking up, grooming, helpers helping riders, registration and just the general mish mash. The ride coordinator and I thought it would be a good idea for me to head up onto the trail and snap pictures of riders entering the trail. Good idea, right? Well, here is what the riders saw:















~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



And.... here's what the horses saw...













Some were like, aw HECK NAW, I *ain't* going by that black thing on those metal sticks!!!!!


When I put the camera down into the leaves, only THEN did some pass by! LOL!


Others could care less. In any event, to prevent anything bad happening, I just moved back up the trail more toward the entrance. Only up there the light was a little wonky and my shots weren't as good. Oh well.


Here are some of the pics...


I didn't put them ALL as there are nearly 100, but here are some group shots, arrival shots and my favs.
















 






















































 















This last pic here was of this very nice lady who went to pick up their horses only to find her mare's mane so matted with burrs. What a hoot! I helped her get them all out and off they went.


As for some riders not having the best day... there was a post on Facebook where one rider lamented some of the issues on the ride, but I went to copy it out and someone had deleted it. Anyway, here is some of the problems that I did read,


A shirtless man was letting his dog run amok around the horses (not cool)


The severe congestion of getting in and out with the trailers (hey, it happens)


Experiencing major road work at one of the trail crossing which involved jack-hammering on the cement that shook the ground (say what?!)


The 1st Saturday of the month tornado siren testing going off like clockwork right at noon (yes, it was loud, LOL!)


and...


Many, many cyclists on the trail who did not know the horsey rules of the road.


After reading the post, I thought to myself, hey, the camera was probably the _easiest_ spook of the ride!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Thanks for reading! Happy trails!!

​


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 19 - It's Official!*

_I signed up! And I just the got the packet in the mail..._













~ to the ~

​ 







​ ___________________________________________


I'm really excited.


I also exchanged that English saddle I bought for a bigger one and I got that in the mail too!


Got lots of things on the horizon. Yayyyyy~


Thanks for reading-- happy trails!​


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 20 - Falling Down in the Hay Mow*

Soooo… the weather has been very, very crappy as of late which unfortunately means that I’m not outside messin’ with the girls as much as I want to. As of right this moment, it’s raining ice- YUCK.













A couple days ago I even had to plug in the water tank heater because it went down to 18 degrees- double YUCK.












And, wouldn’t you know the one good day we had, I went outside to saddle up Nala because it was beautiful, and she was laying there like a curled up deer right next to Zoey! I simply had *zero* heart to disturb them. Oh well. I’m sure we will have nicer days to come.


The cold doesn’t bother me as long as the sun is shining. I mean, that’s what those little toe heaters you buy at Walmart are for, right?












Yesterday, I had the joy of filling my barn with yummy hay. What was great about the whole thing is that my dad came who is retired and farm life is pretty foreign to him. He was delighted to come along and help out and learn about different cuts of hay, etc…












What was funny was the fact that he wasn’t used to the footing in hay mows while throwing down the bales and it wasn’t too long before I turned around and I seen the bottoms of his shoes up in the air, LOL! I told him, ‘welcome to the club’. There’s also a club you can join when you hit the electric fence, too. THAT club isn’t as fun to join as a nice soft tumble down some hay!


Kind of like this, but instead of stairs, it was hay 












He also misunderstood about me backing my van into the barn to load up some second cutting and thought we were leaving. When I hopped in to back up, and seen him sitting there, I said- we are just backing up. He was a little embarrassed because the other people there were like, what’s this guy doing hopping in the van to back up 20 feet???


We had a good laugh at the mishaps and at the end of our second run, when I was thanking him for his help, he commented that I was welcome and he was glad he could provide the comedy relief- LOL!


Many hands make light work! And, there were four of us that procured 115 bales which was taken in two trips, so it worked out good. Took the whole day, but my hay guy had a bad year (for avoidable reasons, but I won’t go into that here) so I’m somewhat apprehensive about this winter and have the feeling I’ll be answering many Facebook ads for any hay I see in my area.


Will probably need to buy this:












It sucks not having my own truck and having to pay/rely on others to do my hay transport for me. Reeeeally hoping to have a truck by next spring!


In the meantime of crappy weather, I’ve been developing my Youtube channel. My goal is to help other fearful riders out there, or at least, I’m hoping I can by sharing things that I’ve learned and inviting them to follow along as I work getting into endurance. My latest video talks about getting free horses and includes Nala's story. Check it out!








Anyway... I truly believe that having been introduced to this sport has GREATLY helped my own fears. Being immersed and surrounded by other endurance riders gives me confidence! And, what’s really funny about that (not funny, haha) is I’ve been pretty much in the horse world since 2004 and it’s only NOW that I’m learning about this sport!!! That’s crazy!! I swear, potential horse owners need like, a class or something so they can learn all the different disciplines so they can work toward what A) best suits them, and B) what they just… want.


Well, *that* class can happen AFTER they learn proper horse care FIRST 


Anyway… that’s all that’s going on. The girls are all bushy from their winter coats- they look like mammoths. So cute!!


Thanks for reading!​


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

Love your journal! Putting the fun pictures in really enhances it too.

I wanted to write about fear a little bit. I'm not an especially brave rider, but I manage to get the job done . . . most of the time.

In April I bought a horse that absolutely stole my heart. My sixth sense was screaming at me that I had to have this horse. I moved heaven and earth to get him. By the time I bought him, he had already started rearing badly when he didn't want to do something, and when he landed from the rear, he immediately put his head down and bucked. (That's why I was able to buy him--very low price tag) Something told me this horse would be amazing, if I could only get a handle on his misbehavior. Fortunately, I have a good friend who is an awesome horse trainer, and she told me what to do. It worked really well, but it was very scary, both to be correcting the behavior and the thought in the back of my mind that he might continue to exhibit the rearing and then bucking. With each ride, he got better and better and I had to do less and less of the scary training technique. After about two months, he was only doing it from time to time on solo rides. And after about 4 months, he wasn't doing it on solo rides any more.

The last time I rode him solo, he was perfect, and I remember thinking that he is now probably the best horse I have for riding solo. But today was his turn to be ridden, and the people I had planned to ride with couldn't come. Suddenly the fear came sliding back--that he would rear and then buck when riding solo. I completely forgot that I had decided he was my best solo horse. Since I hadn't ridden him solo in two weeks, it was in my head that I was going to have a tough and scary ride with him. I was so worried that I even prayed about it as I was leading him out to ride.

But, of course, no, as before, he was the best solo horse I have. He didn't do one thing wrong. He was fantastic. I rode him for almost two hours and loved every second of it.

Fear is such a funny thing--the way it creeps back in when you have every reason to know there is nothing to fear. The mind just doesn't shut it out, does it?


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

knightrider said:


> Love your journal! Putting the fun pictures in really enhances it too.


Thank you!!



knightrider said:


> I wanted to write about fear a little bit. I'm not an especially brave rider, but I manage to get the job done . . . most of the time.


After what I read, I would think you are braver than most!!



knightrider said:


> In April I bought a horse that absolutely stole my heart. My sixth sense was screaming at me that I had to have this horse. I moved heaven and earth to get him. By the time I bought him, he had already started rearing badly when he didn't want to do something, and when he landed from the rear, he immediately put his head down and bucked.


Did you find out the problem for that? What was causing it?



knightrider said:


> After about two months, he was only doing it from time to time on solo rides. And after about 4 months, he wasn't doing it on solo rides any more.


I think that's AMAZING that you were able to work it out!!! **This** type of positive outcome is exactly what people like me NEED to hear. We need the whole 'getting to the other side' of a training issue-- especially when it comes to groups such as endurance riders who do the majority of their riding alone.



knightrider said:


> Since I hadn't ridden him solo in two weeks, it was in my head that I was going to have a tough and scary ride with him. I was so worried that I even prayed about it as I was leading him out to ride... Fear is such a funny thing--the way it creeps back in when you have every reason to know there is nothing to fear. The mind just doesn't shut it out, does it?


You are so right! It's in the mind, for sure!! I sort of wish there was pill you could take that took that fear away... and when I say sorta, I hate the thought of having to take anything in the first place! Seriously, there are people out there who are truly fearless and I wish I could be one of them. But hey, like Phantomhorse13 said a few posts back, we need to be kind to ourselves and I really agree. It's all about celebrating the successes and victories, large or small...

Do you have a blog on the rearing situation and the training you learned???


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

Thank you. Actually I am kind of a scardy cat rider. I got run away with when I was 13, the horse stepped in a hole and flipped, and I got a concussion. So I get really panicked when a horse is galloping and I pull on the reins and get . . . wood . . . iron . . . nothing. I don't like riding a horse with lousy brakes.

Rearing horses don't bother me as much as other people because it is actually fairly easy to sit a rear and fairly easy to get a horse to stop rearing. Our "World's Greatest Pony" was a rearing horse when I bought him, but I figured I could get him out of it, and I could. Most of the time, when a horse rears, if you just get it moving, it will come out of the rear. Most of the time, if you kick them, and fuss at them angrily, they give it up. I rode in Renaissance Festivals for 17 years (hence my screen name) and usually taught my horses to rear because the crowd loves it.

HOWEVER! I fell in love with my neighbor's little Paso 4 years ago. She had the most adorable little dancy gait, so smooth and fun to ride. She was a bad rearer, and not only did she rear, but if you kicked her and yelled at her, she hurled herself to the ground in a rage. So, she was super interesting to train, and I kept a journal about it. Because I didn't want anyone to chime in about what I should be doing (or worse yet, that I shouldn't be trying to work with her), I copied Golden Horse's journal and had Isabeau tell the story. By the way, if you have not read @Golden Horse journal about Mr. Gibbs, you really should read it! It is wonderful.

Here is my journal about Isabeau. http://www.horseforum.com/member-journals/isabeau-psychomare-diva-queen-637890/

Since I had so much success with Isabeau, I figured I could "fix" Acicate. But I had to "fix" him in a different way--actually the traditional way to stop a bad rearer--to spin him. It didn't work for Isabeau, not at all, but it worked great for Acicate. The secret, which I didn't know until my trainer friend told me, was to spin him for up to 50 minutes. FIFTY MINUTES! That's a VERY long time to be spinning a horse! I tried spinning Acicate about 12 or 18 times and he'd just pop back up in a rear the minute I stopped. When I got it in my head this was going to be a very long term spin, he got over it the very first ride. It took me only 2 months to eradicate a behavior in Acicate that took me 2 years to get out of Isabeau. Aci's personality is very different from Isabeau's. Each horse is different, and although I know that, it's interesting to have it shown so clearly.

I wanted to register Acicate, and when I was able to contact his breeder, I did ask about the rearing and bucking. The breeder said he hired a guy to start his colts, and because Aci was so agile and athletic, the guy thought he'd train him for roping. He pushed Aci too fast, too hard, and Aci started rearing. The guy thought that was cool, so he encouraged it . . . and from there, they ended up with a horse that couldn't be sold, until he ended up in a rescue, where I got him. That's the short version of the story anyway.

By the way, when I taught my horses to rear for jousting tournaments, I did it very carefully. They were only allowed to rear after all 3 parts of a 3 part command. If they reared after two of the commands, they were corrected and not given a treat. It didn't take long for the horses to understand they needed all 3 words before they should rear. I also never had a problem with them rearing when they didn't want to do something because they were super well trained, knew piles of tricks, and knew about "performing" rather than just going riding.

Even with all that, when my kids were born, I never taught another horse to rear. Not gonna take any chances with my precious children.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

Sorry for the delay in response @knightrider !! It's crazy around here around the holidays!! I've been dying to get to the computer to respond... so here I am!



knightrider said:


> Thank you. Actually I am kind of a scardy cat rider. I got run away with when I was 13, the horse stepped in a hole and flipped, and I got a concussion. So I get really panicked when a horse is galloping and I pull on the reins and get . . . wood . . . iron . . . nothing. I don't like riding a horse with lousy brakes.


Yikes! That's scary! When I was about that age, I had that happen to me, minus the concussion. I was lucky enough that the pony ran through some trees so I grabbed a branch a swung off. Also luckily for me my horses have *great* brakes. And, have to say that not having them would be a deal breaker for me. Although, some riders like a very forward horse.



knightrider said:


> Rearing horses don't bother me as much as other people because it is actually fairly easy to sit a rear and fairly easy to get a horse to stop rearing. Our "World's Greatest Pony" was a rearing horse when I bought him, but I figured I could get him out of it, and I could. Most of the time, when a horse rears, if you just get it moving, it will come out of the rear. Most of the time, if you kick them, and fuss at them angrily, they give it up. I rode in Renaissance Festivals for 17 years (hence my screen name) and usually taught my horses to rear because the crowd loves it.


That's pretty awesome. Weren't you scared they would flip over all the way though???



knightrider said:


> By the way, if you have not read @*Golden Horse* journal about Mr. Gibbs, you really should read it! It is wonderful.


I'm definitely going to read it! I love reading the other journals!



knightrider said:


> Here is my journal about Isabeau. http://www.horseforum.com/member-journals/isabeau-psychomare-diva-queen-637890/


Can't wait to read it!!!



knightrider said:


> Since I had so much success with Isabeau, I figured I could "fix" Acicate. But I had to "fix" him in a different way--actually the traditional way to stop a bad rearer--to spin him. It didn't work for Isabeau, not at all, but it worked great for Acicate. The secret, which I didn't know until my trainer friend told me, was to spin him for up to 50 minutes. FIFTY MINUTES! That's a VERY long time to be spinning a horse! I tried spinning Acicate about 12 or 18 times and he'd just pop back up in a rear the minute I stopped. When I got it in my head this was going to be a very long term spin, he got over it the very first ride. It took me only 2 months to eradicate a behavior in Acicate that took me 2 years to get out of Isabeau. Aci's personality is very different from Isabeau's. Each horse is different, and although I know that, it's interesting to have it shown so clearly.


That IS funny, not funny "ha ha" though. Very interesting. How do you pronounce, 'Acicate'??

Spinning for 50 minutes??? That seems a little extreme... for horse and rider.



knightrider said:


> ...when I taught my horses to rear for jousting tournaments, I did it very carefully. They were only allowed to rear after all 3 parts of a 3 part command. If they reared after two of the commands, they were corrected and not given a treat. It didn't take long for the horses to understand they needed all 3 words before they should rear. I also never had a problem with them rearing when they didn't want to do something because they were super well trained, knew piles of tricks, and knew about "performing" rather than just going riding.


That's really interesting and I think that is awesome. It definitely solidifies the relationship with the horse. I mean, you probably know them better than anyone working with them like that!



knightrider said:


> Even with all that, when my kids were born, I never taught another horse to rear. Not gonna take any chances with my precious children.


I totally agree. I'm terrified having my kids ride my girls and their 'half-dead' broke! LOL!


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

Acicate is Spanish for "spur" "encourage" "urge on". It is pronounced Ah see cah tay. I call him Aci for short and my daughter calls him Ace. Which is funny because one reason I wanted to buy him so badly was because his owner was nervous about riding him. Aci is very --forward--and so the owner gave him Acepromozine before every ride. I read on the internet that long term daily use of Acepromozine could hurt a gelding, and I wanted him to stop doing that. The nickname for Acepromozine is "Ace."

Aci in the beginning felt like riding a rocket, a stick of dynamite ready to explode, and how I chose that name for him. Paso Finos almost always have Spanish names, and I wanted a name that was fun to say, fancy, and described him. Acicate is the perfect name for him.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post 21 - Disappointment & Progress*

It’s been an eventful (or not so eventful, depending on how you look at it) few months since I blogged last. And, for the most part I’ve been on a health journey trying to figure out WHY I’ve been so fatigued. I mean, I’ve been tired for DECADES and I just cannot take it anymore!! I want to ride my horses and I’m just so tired all.the.time! I thought maybe it was the anxiety making me this way, but blessedly I’ve been pretty panic attack free, so I know that can’t be it… 

So, looking up symptoms on Pinterest, one of the possible reasons for fatigue was that it could be a low thyroid and it dawned on me that after I had my first kid, the doctor told me I had a low thyroid and it was most likely post-pregnancy and would go away on its own. Well, fast forward 3 more kids and I kind of just forgot about it! So here I am wondering if that’s been my problem.

Long story short, I’m going to go the “all natural” route first on treating hypothyroidism _just for now _(assuming that’s my problem, but let me tell you, I have every-single-symptom). I’m going to give it a couple months and if I don’t see any improvements, I’ll hit the endocrinologist up. 

Here are the four things I’ve been doing over the past two weeks:



Thyradol – supplement that gives you nutrients to help support your thyroid (hopefully get it to function properly and speed it up) and bring up your energy levels.
 

My diet – I’ve gone gluten free (mostly) and made it a HUGE point to eat at least 3 servings of FRESH fruit and 3 servings of FRESH veggies every day. So far so good! I’ve also cut out my once a day “treat” can of coke also. Surprisingly, I read that you shouldn’t eat oats with a low thyroid and guess what… I’ve been eating old fashioned oats every day for YEARS… ((sigh)).
 

PS100 – another bad symptom I’ve struggled with is brain fog, attention-deficit, and major forgetfulness. I learned about Phosphatidyle-serine through a blog (there are a number of them that talk about the benefits of this amino acid and the possibility of it even reversing cognitive decline – sign me up!) and after reading a few more articles about it, drove to the nearest vitamin store to pick some up.
 

Folinic Acid & B12 – apparently some people aren’t able to absorb B vitamins the right way because they are deficient in folinic acid (NOT folic acid) and this can cause major fatigue even though they are taking vitamins (which I have done in the past and it’s never really made me feel better so I was never consistent with it). Also, it has to be the right B12, the form “methylcobalamin”, not “Cyanocobalamin”. I have the right B12 on order and I pick that up on Thursday (I already have the folinic acid I got from Walgreen’s and I have been taking it).
 
And, that’s it! I’m doing those 4 things for two months greatly hoping to avoid going to the doctor! And, to be *completely* honest, even though it’s only been two weeks and I’ve noticed a BIG difference. I have much more energy overall (I have good days and bad days, but hands-down, many more good days!) and I’ve been remembering more things and have a bit more clarity (I’ve literally been almost a danger behind the wheel because I couldn’t keep my focus!) and the really great thing is my anxiety has been nearly non-existent! Only one major panic attack and I think it was due to taking the PS100 in a vegetable capsule and for some reason I was just really nervous to take it like I always am taking a new pill… so I got the gel type pill and no issues. When I bought them, the cashier commented that the gel type pills are much more bioavailable (? Not sure if that’s the right word… biosaluable?) so that helps. He also said they can barely keep the PS100 stocked, they sell so fast.

I’m very excited with all of this and as of today, I went to work, came home, cleaned up a little bit, and went outside and put my first ride on Nala in her new tack that I bought her months ago!! The weather was gorgeous, too!! NORMALLY, I’m so tired from work that when I get home, I just sit and play on my phone the rest of the day, and I get home around noon-1pm!! I barely have the energy to make dinner, it’s so pathetic! It just got to the point that I was so mad at myself and then when the anger wore off, logic kicked in and said, “This really isn’t normal.” 

So, here I am! Hoping, hoping, hoping I’m on the road to healing. If not, I’m heading to the doctor because I’m at the point where all of this has to end. I have too many hopes and dreams and things I want to do!

As an aside to all that, I reeeeeeally wanted to go to this competitive trail ride a week back and put an ad on Facebook asking if someone would want to mentor me. I could have either picked them up and rented a horse trailer, or paid them to pick me up—well, not a single person responded (big frowny face), so I was pretty disappointed. The crazy thing was the horsey people I’m kind of close to weren’t going, so I was kind of desperate. I guess it was just meant to be that I didn’t go, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sad at seeing all the pictures posted online of all the fun.

Well, that’s it for now--- my goals in the coming weeks are just to ride more. Thanks for reading!

Happy trails!!


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## Loner (Dec 21, 2017)

Very nice thread.I have loved Horses since I could walk.You are very well versed and You absolutely LOVE Horses.You are my kind of PEOPLE.Thanks for the nice tread.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

Loner said:


> Very nice thread.I have loved Horses since I could walk.You are very well versed and You absolutely LOVE Horses.You are my kind of PEOPLE.Thanks for the nice tread.


Thank you so much! If nothing else comes across on this journal, I hope my love for horses is what shines the most! Because I really do love my girls.

You bring up a good point about loving horses as that was a talking point I failed to mention in post #21. A lot of my stress comes from my inactivity with them... the guilt fuels that stress even though my farrier, vet and horsey friends assure me that horses (a great majority) love doing nothing. As Clinton Anderson says, "Horses dream about sleeping". LOL! I know I put that on myself and I know I shouldn't... It's just really hard *for me *to see them sit... But the thought crossed my mind that if my guilt causes so much stress, maybe I should let them go... and when I really, really think about what my life would be like without them, it feels like I've been stabbed in my chest!! So, yeah. There's that 

Anyhooooo.... I put my first ride on Nala yesterday and I put my first ride on Zoey today....

SUPER EXCITING!!!!!

_P.S. @Loner -- Your grey horse is really cute in your avatar!!_


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## valley ranch (Oct 12, 2017)

Generalized Anxiety & Panic ~ that's a good one joy ~ how about this one : " Adult Situation Reaction "

You'r gona be great ~ this is going to be so rewarding ~ and ~ we get to watch ```

Thank you







Richard


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## Loner (Dec 21, 2017)

My horses do not get rode everyday.They need kick back time just like we do.Do not feel bad about not riding enough (they still love You) and when You do ride enjoy.I know some people that have a horse just for the companionship.They do not ride but love having them.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

valley ranch said:


> Generalized Anxiety & Panic ~ that's a good one joy ~ how about this one : " Adult Situation Reaction "


 @*valley ranch*

Hahaha! Yeah, this could be it... becoming an adult was a hard transition for some reason!! Even though I pretty much raised myself and had my little brother to look after since I was 10... I see my 11 year old now, and think, "Holy crap! Was I really this little fending for myself???". Oy. It's really no wonder I crashed at 19 years old.



valley ranch said:


> You'r gona be great ~ this is going to be so rewarding ~ and ~ we get to watch ```
> 
> Thank you


Awwww, thank you so much!! I have some big goals I wanna hit this year! Big to me anyway!! :smile:







Richard[/QUOTE]


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

Loner said:


> My horses do not get rode everyday.They need kick back time just like we do.Do not feel bad about not riding enough (they still love You) and when You do ride enjoy.I know some people that have a horse just for the companionship.They do not ride but love having them.


 @Loner

You're are right and I completely understand this. I think I've read to many sale ads that say something like, "The horse has sat for a while, so he/she will need a tune up!" Or, something to that effect! So in my mind, I'm like, I can't let them sit! 

Even though, truth is, my mares SIT **a lot** and they always do great!!

Thank you for the encouragement!!inkunicorn:inkunicorn:


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## Loner (Dec 21, 2017)

Your very welcome.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post #22 - The Rungs*

I feel like a great analogy for training for long distance would be akin to climbing a ladder. 













For some, getting to that “top rung” would be Tevis, or some other high-profile international long distance event. 

For me, I don’t know what my top rung would be, but…
 _I definitely climbed the ladder a bit since I journaled last!_

I know it’s been a while since I posted, however, so much has happened; it’s been hard to keep up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*First*, a really big event that happened was getting a TRUCK!












I did! I really got one! I had to sell two cars, eat ramen noodles every day and beg on the street corner for a bit, but I got one!

Very similar to this here below, minus the top orange lights. 

Regular cab, long bed, tinted windows, yah baby!











I told everyone that it would just be a “beater” for me- mostly to get hay and stuff so it didn’t need to be fancy and if it had some rust on it, no biggie… but… now that I have it and it’s better than I hoped, it’s now my BABY and I wanna fix her up good (the truck pictured is in much better shape, but it gets the idea across)! So, I got a good deal on some really nice front fenders to put on since the current ones are rusty, and then all I need are some back wheel well covers and a new chrome bumper, and she’ll look pretty tight!

In the meantime, while my funds are building back up, I’ve been peeping online at some horse trailers out there and I saw a couple that looked pretty good. Hopefully by the fall, I’ll have a trailer, but if not, maybe by Spring.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Second*, I found an *awesome* trainer LITERALLY five minutes down the road from me. Listen guys, I messaged her through her Facebook farm page and she got back to me right away. She even came over and talked with me at length about my current ride program, what my goals are, and how we can get there and didn’t even charge me!

She is an experienced trail rider and often trailers out to parks alone with her mare, so she’s confident (which I need). She also trains cross-country/eventing and some dressage, too. 












Over the course of time and talking with her more and more, I find her to be pro-active, liberal/giving with her time and very communicative- which has been very different from other local mentors I have reached out to/encountered as they are either busy, on vacation constantly, non-communicative, nor willing to trailer you (even for money). Needless to say, this is great, great, great news and so exciting. She's like superwoman!

So, she gave specific instructions for Zoie and what I need to do to get her ready to trailer out to some local parks which were: getting her Coggins done, any vaccines that might be needed, shoes for the rockier trails and any possible bridle tags/paperwork with the parks.

And… check, check, check, check! All done!












At this point, we are coordinating our schedules for when the best time to go would be and I am SOOOOO excited.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Third*, I’ve been really struggling with my confidence, and as a result haven’t ridden Zoie much outside the pasture. It’s something that’s been really weighing on my mind and it’s like I have like this BLOCK that I can’t get past… so I’ve been reading books on sports psychology, mental toughness, fear etc. I’ve even gone back to self-hypnosis!

So after some time doing research, reading and listening, can you believe I actually got out with my 12 year old daughter on the horses? We were actually planning on taking them out of the pasture, with me ponying her! 










This is huge! Enough for a heart attack! This is something that I never really thought I would even have the guts to try, but I did. In the end, it didn’t work out, the ponying was a disaster, but for me to even attempt it was such a big success, or “a couple rungs up the ladder”. In the end, we just rode around the pasture together and it was still a lot of fun.

Maybe someday this will be us--










~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Fourth*, I rode Zoie on my own today. Now, mind you, I have done this in the past, but always with apprehension. 

Today, I didn’t have any.

Even… when she did a very tiny mini-bolt, hop-a-along thing at the sound of Nala booking up the pasture at us! For a split second, Zoie heard the thunder of hoof beats and thought, “Oh crap- DANGER!” What’s funny is that I didn’t hear her galloping up from behind the barn and up along the trees *at first*, because we were out in the street, but Zoie did!

 By the time *I* heard it, Zoie was already in motion, coiling up like a spring. Amazingly, I did not dismount in a panic like I normally would have, *but rode it out*!










Oh, you guys, my heart is big right now. Trailering Zoie out to an unknown place with an unknown horse always seemed like some distant, unreachable dream… And any time I thought about that dream, all it did was fill me with stress and dread and what-if’s. Now, I feel so excited. Maybe the Lord has answered my prayers? Maybe He’s just given me the knowledge I needed in order that my thinking changed? Either way, I’m very blessed!!

And, I feel very “unstuck” now and well on my way for my very first AERC ride in the fall!


I’ll give an update after our trail ride and let y’all know how it goes! 


Thanks for reading! Happy Trails!​


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## phantomhorse13 (Feb 18, 2011)

Great job!!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post #23 - The Trail Ride, eeeeeek!!*

My coach, who we will call, “K” came to pick us up around 2pm and I was able to get everything ready to be loaded up without too much fuss. I even got Zoie out to grab some bites of grass while we waited. When K got there though with her trailer, Zoie got a little nervous, but when K took the lead rope and led her on to the trailer she calmed right down. _Funny how that works considering how K has never led her around before, let alone the trailer…_

The trip to the park and unloading the horses was uneventful. Once we got Zoie tied up to groom and tack, she was very “looky” but not out of control by any stretch. She called out a few times when to two other riders came in finishing their ride, but seemed overall more interested in her hay net.

Now me on the other hand, I was a little bit more of a wreck! I was SUCH a ball of nerves. K consistently kept telling me that I was the one making Zoie nervous, but I didn’t know what to do about it. Taking deep breaths was just about all I *could* do and I can’t say it helped a WHOLE lot, but what else was I going to do? I had to mentally keep telling myself to keep it together and suck it up, LOL!

Eventually we mounted up and hit the trail only to immediately encounter a very scary trash bin- now mind you, it wasn’t just an ordinary trash bin, but one of those BIG ones that trucks have to pick up and empty into the top/back of the truck! It took a few minutes to get both mares to pass by, but they did and then we were off down the trail.

Now, in my mind, I pictured just a flat, dirt trail snaking through the woods, easy peasy, right? 

No! 

The trail we went down had a bridge, and steep, rocky curves and inclines all throughout! I don’t know how many times I said to K, “I don’t really feel comfortable doing this…”

I swear a couple times Zoie’s back legs were skidding down the hills! It was nuts! I asked K if we were on a really hard trail (there are 3 separate trails) and she said they were all pretty much like this one. Oh boy. Now, granted, it had its flat parts, and it had its scenery, but I was so focused on the back of Zoie’s neck, I didn’t see too much, LOL!

Fortunately, about half way through, I was getting pretty used to it and so was Zoie. So much so, that we even decided to swap places and try leading, but Zoie wasn’t too gung ho being the leader so that’s something we will have to remedy next time by leap-frogging or something.

In the end, I only hopped off once because my knees were *killing me* and my helmet was on too tight giving me a terrible headache. Once I got my legs stretched a bit and loosened up my helmet, I was right as rain and finished out the loop.

Near the last mile though, Zoie tried a couple times to go down in some sandy spots and I can’t say I blame her- she was tired and she loves to roll in the hot sand! So instead, I just pushed her through and when got to a river, we took them in up to the bottom of our stirrups to let the cool water refresh their legs. Zoie didn’t do much, just splashed around with her lips, LOL! She was hesitant at first, but we got her in and she seemed to like it.

When we got back to the rig, we sponged them down and cleaned our tack. We all were pretty tired as nearly 4 miles is a lot for a “fluffy” horse. I have been riding her and K said when she originally picked us up at the beginning that she could tell she looked a bit trimmer, which is awesome!

The best part of the ride was the feeling I had going home… the BIGGEST feeling of accomplishment in the whole world!! In my mind I ran through the ride over and over and I couldn’t believe that we did it, that *I* actually did THAT! As uncomfortable as I was, K kept telling me over and over what a good little mare Zoie was and how perfect she was being for me. How brave she was- quiet and careful! She said she was so impressed with her behavior considering how she probably hasn’t been out on the trails in so many years. She seemed like an ol’ pro!

It was an amazing day that feels like a dream. _*I absolutely cannot wait to do it again!!*_

Check out the pics!!










































































_____________________________________________
​ 
So my next goal now is to go "around the block" on the back roads here at home on my own which totals 4 miles. Unfortunately it's not very hilly, but oh well!

Thanks so much for reading!!!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

phantomhorse13 said:


> Great job!!



Thank you so much!!


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

Yay! Yay! Hooray for you!


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Zoie has such a nice expression in your pictures. She looks very calm and like she’s enjoying herself. Hooray for good rides!


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## QueenofFrance08 (May 16, 2017)

YAY! Awesome job, looks like really fun trails! Buy yourself a pair of EZ Ride Stirrups. I know they're expensive but you'll never regret it again!


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## phantomhorse13 (Feb 18, 2011)

Joy Brock said:


> ​


This pics says it all - look at that smile!!​


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post #24 - Endings & Beginnings*

As far as my horse journey goes this year, looking back, I was tempted to feel discouraged. 








For instance, not accomplishing my biggest goal to make it to the Metroparks Express ride back in September was a bummer. And not to make too many excuses, or a short story long, it A) just crept up on me really quickly and since I wasn’t able to find anyone willing to help trailer even though I was more than willing to make it worth their while financially (that’s a whole other frustrating ball of wax that I won’t go into here)… this lead to not really seeing the point of preparing physically (or mentally) because of not having a ride all the way to, B) my coach/mentor being on vacation out of state thus not being able to help me my first year… so yeah, just wasn’t meant to be apparently. 







 
Another sad and unfortunate circumstance this year was losing my horse riding friend the day before Thanksgiving due to complications from surgery. THAT was a big loss and I still grieve… She was a good friend. Good horsewoman. She was brave. She helped me with my fear. She was a very giving and generous person. And, she will be so very missed…

Apart from those two circumstances, I’m just disappointed in my lack of riding this year overall. Nala is almost all the way retired at this point, and Zoie got in a mere handful of rides… HOWEVER, as a person who desires to see the glass “half full”, I’m currently working on being so very thankful for the progress that I HAVE made as a horseperson this year and want to metaphorically wrap up the bad in boxes and lay them aside… or outside… or far away, and focus on the good.







 
Some big, big positives were finally getting my trusty, hardy truck back in July (so helpful for getting hay!!). Then taking Zoie on that trail ride on my birthday in August- that was a HUGE deal. Then my daughter rode Zoie by herself around the pasture (that was a lot of fun) which gave her confidence and also allowed her to accomplish a big goal that she had for herself. I also found an excellent coach/mentor only 7 miles down the road that I can go to and learn from which I am forever grateful for... But the biggest event, the biggest goal that I’ve had for YEARS came to pass just a few weeks ago… and… drumroll please… buying a horse trailer!! I actually did it!!

How that came to be is another journal entry, but I am SO excited about it!! It’s not the prettiest thing in the world, but it has the IMPORTANT things, like good tires, working electrical, solid solid solid floor. With this trailer, I can now connect with that awesome coach I mentioned above and go to her place for lessons, or knowledge, companionship, just whatever!








I’m even part of a new Facebook group that is working towards setting up a monthly group trail ride every 1st Saturday of the month and now I don’t have to try and hitch a ride (not that anyone was EVER willing) and have even offered to pick up a lady with her horse on the way. It’s good to have horse riding buddies! It’s extremely unfortunate that in my area the horse riders here seem to be clique’ey… either that, or it’s entirely possible they view my profile and say, “no, thanks” LOL!

So, for this year, my goal is pretty simple. Ride more. With a trailer, nothing apart from God’s intervention is going to stop me now and I’m coming to see that a lot of my fear is due to lack of experience. With more experience, I pray my fear becomes less. I also am coming to the conclusion and the understanding that I just don’t like riding alone- and I’m learning to accept it- with no shame, and say THAT’S OK. Some people like to, some people don’t. 








For 2019, I’m learning to show myself grace and unapologetically accept what it is that makes me, ME. 

Thank you for reading! Happy trails to you all this coming year!​


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

You're back! Yay! I've missed reading your thoughtful expressive posts. I hope everything goes well in your new endeavors. Congratulations on getting the horse trailer. Don't forget to check your wheel bearings once a year--it's easy to forget if you are not used to having a trailer and very expensive if you don't keep them greased. I hope you get in lots of rides and huge boosts in confidence.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@knightrider

Thank you so much!! It's been a long busy fall and I'm ready to slow down a bit and try to concentrate on carving out time to ride! I appreciate your very kind words. And yes! Wheel-bearings, good idea! I'll be sure to keep tabs on that, thank you!


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, so hard when it's unexpected like that. I can relate to so much in your post- particularly the goals thwarted due to lack of a trailer :wink: Congrats on getting one, and here's to more ride time in 2019!


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## carshon (Apr 7, 2015)

I would also suggest joining Old Cowgirls Never Die group on FB- they are a lovely bunch of ladies and have a listing by state - maybe you can find more riding friends.

Congrats on the trailer. and not enjoying riding alone is a consequence of lack of confidence- you may get there one day. I prefer to ride with company but also have enjoyed some great solo rides.

On to a much happier and mounted 2019!


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## QueenofFrance08 (May 16, 2017)

Are you in the UMECRA Facebook group? They're always a good resource (not that you'll need a lift anymore!!!) if you want to get to a ride next year!

Congratulations on the new trailer! That's so exciting!

As for riding alone, I don't like to either so that's nothing to feel bad about! I wish I felt more comfortable riding alone, maybe someday I will, but for now I usually only ride when DH is around. I will occasionally trailer out on my own and ride but none of our horses ride out from home very well so I hate trying to do that on my own.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@egrogan

Thank you so much!!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@carshon



carshon said:


> ...and not enjoying riding alone is a consequence of lack of confidence- you may get there one day. I prefer to ride with company but also have enjoyed some great solo rides.


You're probably right. Hopefully one day! That would be so great!!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

QueenofFrance08 said:


> Are you in the UMECRA Facebook group? They're always a good resource (not that you'll need a lift anymore!!!) if you want to get to a ride next year!


Yeah, I am. They are a great group!




QueenofFrance08 said:


> As for riding alone, I don't like to either so that's nothing to feel bad about! I wish I felt more comfortable riding alone, maybe someday I will, but for now I usually only ride when DH is around. I will occasionally trailer out on my own and ride but none of our horses ride out from home very well so I hate trying to do that on my own.


When you trailer out, are your horses good on the trail alone?


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## QueenofFrance08 (May 16, 2017)

Joy Brock said:


> When you trailer out, are your horses good on the trail alone?


Yeah they usually call a bit at the beginning but then do alright. We did get ditched by the group we were with during one of our 25 mile rides about 4 miles into a 19 mile loop and it was definitely slower going and she was a little more spooky (I was pretty nervous which wasn't helping matters because people had been seeing bears) but we made it just fine. We waited on the second loop for a friend to catch up which made things a lot easier but I know it was my nerves that weren't helping. I've never seen a bear before and I certainly didn't want my first opportunity to be when I was alone with an animal who can outrun me!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

QueenofFrance08 said:


> I've never seen a bear before and I certainly didn't want my first opportunity to be when I was alone with an animal who can outrun me!


I think your nerves were completely justified!! I can't even imagine! I'm nervous in general and there aren't even bears around! LOL - what am I thinking? 

I would say you are pretty brave!!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post #25 - So Many Rungs!!*

A few posts back, I had made the comment that accomplishing certain challenges of horse riding (whether endurance or just trail riding) was like climbing the rungs of a ladder.

And, what a great start it is for the new year to climb a whole bunch of rungs!! At least, that's how I feel!!

Remember how I posted in my last entry about the monthly group trail ride that was organized? Well, that happened this past Saturday, and let me tell ya... it was:

FUN

SCARY

FRUSTRATING

HARD

LONG

SCARY

_AMAZING_

PAINFUL










~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​
A girl posted on the group that she needed a ride, so I PM'd her volunteering. She turned out to be a great gal and incredibly, we knew SO many mutual friends that it gave us great conversation along the ride (that's one of the "amazing" parts). She had a super cute POA that had the black and white spots like a Dalmatian!

But, let me back up a bit. I go to Zoie's barn to pick her up and lo and behold, she wouldn't load! :frown_color:

Not sure why... she always just hops right in! I should have realized this was a warning, but that will come later...

Eventually, I get her in (that was a proud moment, because she was really fighting me!) and we head off to pick up my friend (who we'll call Amy) and her horse. By the time I got to them, we were kind of running behind on time because of the loading fiasco which in turn, when we got there, led us to tack up and groom really quickly in order to head out with the crowd...

And let me tell you, this crowd was READY TO ROLL! The weather was supreme! Hard to believe we almost hit 50 degrees in January with the sun shining bright enough to pour a little heat on you. The horses were reeeally digging it... especially Amy's horse who put on a little (no, big) bucking fit right at the get go. It was exciting to watch and she handled it like a pro!

But, this in turn, made me nervous! All. The. Horses. Were. Ramped. Some were even popping up on the front end :eek_color: in their eagerness to head out. So, head out we did---

Trotting... trotting... trotting... trotting... trotting... trying to keep up... trotting... trotting... legs are getting sore... trotting... trotting... trotting... trying to keep up... trotting...

Finally, I ask the whole gang up front that had to stop at a road, "How long IS this trail?" One guy casually says, "10 miles, I think" all casual-like, like I asked him the time.

My eyes probably did this:










Say what?! I nearly died back in August at FOUR miles!

So then we cross the road and start picking back up the speed. Let me pause and say I got scared (the 1st scary part). Not only for myself, but for Zoie. We are BOTH not in shape for a 10 mile trotting race, nor was my friend and her horse. This is where I got frustrated- frustrated at myself for not asking about this in the first place, frustrated at the group as I think this should have been disclosed and frustrated at... MYSELF. Ultimately, it's my fault at the end of the day that I'm in this situation and I'm angry at myself for doing this to my horse- who has absolutely no voice in this and it's just not fair to do this to HER. I was mad.










So in the midst of the mentally battering myself, Amy says, "Hey, let's just hang back and go our own pace." I blew out the breath I was holding and readily, heartily, agreed. And, it was right at this moment, that two other riders were with us who were actually grumbling about the speed as well and so... we started talking. And, this is where it got fun.










Our little foursome turned into conducting a WONDERFUL ride once we held back and let the fast crowd go on. We introduced ourselves, introduced our horses and held an enriching conversation the whole way. They were so kind, so considerate and concerned about our well-being and were very gracious even when I held them up a few times by walking on the ground... which leads me to the next scary part.

Halfway through the loop, I just couldn't feel my legs anymore. It really scared me. I didn't want to hop down, but I KNEW I had to. So, I told everybody what was going on and they encouraged me to hop down and just walk it off and that I would feel better once I did. But when I hopped down, I could.not.walk. I literally just had to stand there with my mouth gaping open in in-credulousness and fight back the panic. Horrible visions of me draped over my friend's horse riding back into camp flashed in my mind. How embarrassing! :rofl:

All I could do was stand there! And wait! And summon up the strength to just MOVE. Finally, I wiggled a foot. Then I bent my knee, then the other foot, the other knee, etc. After several minutes, I finally took a wobbly step, then another, and another. Eventually, I walked- phew! Panic over. So silly!

And walk I did. For a WHILE. No shame!! Until I felt good enough to hop on, and I did. And, it was at this point, that Zoie was starting to slow down from fatigue on her end, and I finally felt comfortable to let my feet dangle out of the stirrups whenever they needed a rest.

We made it back after four hours and WOW, was I hurting at the end! We were all walking like the child eater from Pan's Labyrinth! LOL! (Next day was worse!)

Then the cherry on top to the day was trying to get Zoie to load back into the trailer- she was having NONE of it. Wouldn't go in at all. Lots of praying went on during that strenuous ordeal- we were just so tired! We wanted to go home! The ladies were questioning Zoie's trailering experience and I'm like, "Listen, this horse hops into the trailer ALL the time! I don't get it!" And, I think they didn't believe me!










After what seemed like an eternity, two of the ladies grabbed a rope and put it behind her butt to put pressure from behind and voila! In she goes- and FAST... I didn't even have time to jump out the escape door and she smashed me like a giant teddy bear! Unfortunately, I think she pushed into me hard enough to bruise my chest because it feels like someone punched me between my boobs 

But, I would have taken a punch to my eye socket at that point, or even a broken nose as long as we got her in there!! We were sooooo done!!











~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the end, I trailered two horses and loaded them up each time. Rode 9.1 miles in a crappy saddle (YES I AM SADDLE SHOPPING AS I TYPE. Because as it stands right now, I still can't sit on a toilet :icon_rolleyes. Made three amazing new friends. FINISHED the ride. 

And, it was all worth it. My spirits are so high.








​


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

Oh, yay for your hard ride! But really, the people you rode with were completely in the wrong. On a group ride, the folks who want to go faster must always ask before trotting or cantering. It's an unwritten rule that a ride never goes faster than the most timid rider. It was so unfair and unkind of them to do all that trotting . . . and have you ride 4 hours. When we have new people in our group, we always ask, "How long do you want to ride? How fast are you comfortable going?" This is standard trail etiquette.

I'm glad you were able to tough it out, but you never should have had to. If you start your own group, I'm sure you will remember to ask those two basic questions each time before you start out. Often times, if someone wants to go faster, many of us will say, "Go ahead. We'll be OK walking back here."


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@knightrider

I thought that it was an unspoken rule too. However, maybe with so many riders that wasn't feasible? There were at the very least 20 riders all together and much of the trail was very narrow?


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@knightrider

I also forgot to mention that at one point a guy came galloping up on us from behind. Isn't that also a big no-no?

People are crazy 😝


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

> I also forgot to mention that at one point a guy came galloping up on us from behind. Isn't that also a big no-no?


You are totally correct. That is so inconsiderate. People want to do those kinds of things to show how "tough" they are and demand that others be that "tough." It's just selfish and inconsiderate.

In a biggish group of 20 riders, they should have started out asking who wants to be in the slow group and who wants to be in the fast group. That's just standard operating procedure. You must have gotten in with a bunch of jerks who wanted to show what tough riders they are.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@knightrider



knightrider said:


> In a biggish group of 20 riders, they should have started out asking who wants to be in the slow group and who wants to be in the fast group. That's just standard operating procedure. You must have gotten in with a bunch of jerks who wanted to show what tough riders they are.


To be fair, we were still tacking up as the group was ready to roll so maybe that happened a little earlier? Not really sure, but it's honestly a decent crowd for the most part with some nice people- they are mostly experienced trail riders so I guess I should have known what I was in for. You live and you learn I suppose!! 

Baptism by fire, I say


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## QueenofFrance08 (May 16, 2017)

Were they endurance riders or just a trail riding group?? I guess I can see an endurance group doing that as a "conditioning ride" assuming everyone plans on trotting the whole ride. 

I'm jealous! All of our parks are closed for the year and everything is snow and ice here so 10 mile rides are a thing of dreams right now!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@QueenofFrance08



QueenofFrance08 said:


> Were they endurance riders or just a trail riding group?? I guess I can see an endurance group doing that as a "conditioning ride" assuming everyone plans on trotting the whole ride.


I'm pretty sure it was a trail ride group made up of quite a few endurance riders, if that makes sense. The FB group has now grown to 300 members... but I highly doubt all those people ride competitively. But the guy who started the group, I think... I'm pretty sure he's endurance.



QueenofFrance08 said:


> I'm jealous! All of our parks are closed for the year and everything is snow and ice here so 10 mile rides are a thing of dreams right now!


I'm amazed at how mild our weather has been! I swear we should be breaking records, but apparently we're not! We were in the mid 40's today without a speck of snow on the ground :eek_color: It's crazy!


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## QueenofFrance08 (May 16, 2017)

Well if nothing less it was probably good practice for your mare if you decide to take her to a ride! It's great that she was listening to you and willing to slow down! I've seen many a horse that can't let the group take off without them and will rip your arms out of the socket trying to do so (including my DH's gelding!). I'm lucky Stitch could care less (especially since we are really slow) like it sounds your girl does! I wont have that much luck if I get my gelding out to a ride this year, that's why I had to Rider Option him at his first LD because he started bucking because I wouldn't let him run after a horse that passed us. 

Any luck finding a new saddle? What are you currently riding in?


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@QueenofFrance08



QueenofFrance08 said:


> Well if nothing less it was probably good practice for your mare if you decide to take her to a ride!


Absolutely! Gave me a very good taste of what the novice 12-miler will be like in the fall, if I go this year!



QueenofFrance08 said:


> It's great that she was listening to you and willing to slow down! I've seen many a horse that can't let the group take off without them and will rip your arms out of the socket trying to do so (including my DH's gelding!). I'm lucky Stitch could care less (especially since we are really slow) like it sounds your girl does! I wont have that much luck if I get my gelding out to a ride this year, that's why I had to Rider Option him at his first LD because he started bucking because I wouldn't let him run after a horse that passed us.


It's funny you say that, because looking back, I'm pretty sure the thought of her wanting to keep up never crossed my mind! Honestly, I think we both had the same feelings about it in that we both felt really pressured to keep up... so when I made her stop, I actually had her turned perpendicular to the trail so she really had no where to go. And the crowd was already a little bit ahead of us and quickly disappeared around the trees... so no fuss, no muss! Now, if we were alone, not quite sure how that would have went. I'm curious to see how that would go since if we do the novice ride alone, we would really be alone and she'd have to be ok letting horses pass us?? Hmmmm....



QueenofFrance08 said:


> Any luck finding a new saddle? What are you currently riding in?


Currently, I'm riding in a saddle that has a seat as hard as a rock. I suppose I could put a cover on it, but naaahhhh. Plus like I mentioned the right stirrup twists my ankle, EVEN after doing the "broomstick" thing on it for a period of time.

I looked at a LOT of Abetta's. But ultimately, my number one choice right now is this one:

Silver Royal Lady Gait Endurance Saddle










I like that it is in a whole package. Price has me a little concerned because it's so low and the old adage usually holds true, "You get what you pay for". My budget is $300-$600, so it falls in the middle. What's important to me are the stirrups (really don't want the fenders(?) for ease of movement), and a deep, soft seat. I don't have to have a full package as I like my bridle, pad and girth. I guess this is just a bonus


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

*Post #26 - Instagram*

Been toying with the idea for a while and finally decided to take the plunge today and create a separate IG account for my horsey adventures :smile:

Feel free to follow along on that or my personal one if you like!

www.instagram.com/joy_and_zoie

www.instagram.com/joyb0218


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## carshon (Apr 7, 2015)

Let me suggest you try a Tucker River Plantation or another saddle like that. There are other riders here that ride treeless and love their saddles as well - check the journals. Because you are right cheaper usually means cheap. I have heard good things about Tennessean gaited saddles sold on e-bay but when I had to saddle shop I found a used Tucker and love it!

I am sorry your ride started out kind of scary. And I am sure your horse picked up on your nerves and did not want to load. As for loading going home - remember that you can relax on the drive home but it is still work for your horse as they have to balance themselves the entire ride - so she may just have been really tired and dreading the extra work on the ride home.

Here's to more riding in 2019!


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## QueenofFrance08 (May 16, 2017)

Well is it a novice or an intro? For the UMECRA Novice rides you go out in a group that usually sticks together for the whole ride (the only times I've ever heard of people not staying with the group is if a horse gets injured/loses shoe/etc). They stagger the groups (if there's a lot of novices) usually every 15 minutes- half hour so you likely won't come up on another group doing the novice. They also usually start the rides several hours after the 50's/LD/Comp groups go out so you don't often come across them on the trail either (I think one of the 4 novices I did/led this year we had 50 milers pass us). If it's an intro it's more similar to an LD so everyone goes out on their own and you will have people passing you and vice versa. 

I'm an Abetta fan personally. After 4 varying price range saddles the only thing that fits my fat not so endurance built mare perfectly is an Abetta Endurance. She's gotten all A's on her back since we switched to it. I also bought a Ghost treeless for my birthday (end of October) but haven't gotten to ride in it much. A lot of people take the fenders off their Abetta's and replace them with biothane leathers to save their knees. My endurance buddy (who rides a TWH) has an Abetta with the gaited tree with biothane leathers on it. She loves it. If I end up using mine this season I'll get some pink leathers for it and a sheepskin cover. 

I haven't heard good things about those packages, they're usually made in India and poor quality and result in lots of rubs/fit issues.


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## phantomhorse13 (Feb 18, 2011)

Joy Brock said:


> I like that it is in a whole package. Price has me a little concerned because it's so low and the old adage usually holds true, "You get what you pay for". My budget is $300-$600, so it falls in the middle. What's important to me are the stirrups (really don't want the fenders(?) for ease of movement), and a deep, soft seat.


Have you actually SAT in that exact brand of saddle somewhere? Because the extreme slope of that seat makes me wonder just how comfortable it would be.. I would also be very worried about the quality.


If the saddle you are currently using fits your horse, you may want to try changing out the fenders for leathers and adding a gel seat and see how you feel. Those things are much cheaper than a new saddle, and can be used in the future if you find they don't help your current saddle enough.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@QueenofFrance08

At the Metroparks ride here the Sept. before that I was actually at, it was labeled a 12-mile Novice/Intro ride and the riders who did that all left at differing times. Some in pairs, some solos. One pair cantered the whole loop and were done in like 20 minutes! So, as far as I know, there is no designated group? Some riders held back to let the quicker riders go first....


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

phantomhorse13 said:


> If the saddle you are currently using fits your horse, you may want to try changing out the fenders for leathers and adding a gel seat and see how you feel. Those things are much cheaper than a new saddle, and can be used in the future if you find they don't help your current saddle enough.


 @phantomhorse13

Now why ya gotta pee on my cheerios by talkin' sense, LOL!

I was excited at the prospect of buying a new saddle! XD

But, you are right. There's no reason why I can't change out the stirrups and buy a gel seat. 

The ONE issue with it is that even though it clears her whithers, it IS close. That's most likely remedied by a saddle pad with padding at the shoulders or shims of some sort.

And, no I've never ridden in what looks to be a very deep seat. I'm not a big fan of sitting tall so to speak and prefer to feel "held in" and since I've heard a lot of positive feedback on Australian saddles I felt like the seat looked somewhat similar?


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## QueenofFrance08 (May 16, 2017)

Ok I pulled up the ride flyer. It's an Intro which explains what you're talking about. Those are based on AERC rules which is fastest time wins and they don't send people out in groups (unless it's the one at Border Battle Boogie, Deb likes to offer group options in case people are more comfortable that way). 

I would try to find a novice ride for your first ride. It's based on Competitive Trail rules (which are somewhat annoying, I myself prefer LD/AERC rules) where everyone has a goal time to finish and you get docked points if you come in more than 5 minutes before or after your goal time. It's a slightly slower pace (for some, for us at the beginning it was a faster pace than we did our LD's) but a good group setting for learning/no pressure for speed and certainly no cantering a full loop. Like I said I do LD's instead of Comp's (Both 25-35 miles) because I don't like all the weird rules but it's much less intimidating to start with until you know how your horse will act in that situation. Plus UMECRA counts Novice rides, gives ribbons, and has a division for points so you feel like you are really working towards something unlike Intros which never get recorded anywhere.


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## QueenofFrance08 (May 16, 2017)

Joy Brock said:


> @phantomhorse13
> 
> Now why ya gotta pee on my cheerios by talkin' sense, LOL!
> 
> ...


I would be a little worried about a bad fit. What seems like a bad fit on a trail ride is like a million times worse after 25 miles (says the girl with a white shouldered mare from a saddle that was sold to her by a "saddle fitter"

I swear by the Toklat Matrix pads which have shims/inserts. My pad is worth 5 times more than my saddle currently (I got an Abetta endurance at an auction for $60 with a plain woolback pad included so those are slightly distorted numbers) and it is worth every penny! Of course I had to buy a Back on Track saddle pad liner to go with it because.... spoiled pony....


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@carshon 



carshon said:


> Let me suggest you try a Tucker River Plantation or another saddle like that.


I've had no success on finding a used Tucker in my price range but I still look occasionally. I have heard nothing but positive feedback on them.



carshon said:


> As for loading going home - remember that you can relax on the drive home but it is still work for your horse as they have to balance themselves the entire ride - so she may just have been really tired and dreading the extra work on the ride home.
> 
> Here's to more riding in 2019!


Yes, you are probably right. I reeeeally hope she doesn't start fighting me because she knows what's in store for her... I'm tempted on loading her up for just a trip around the circled driveway! Then she'll never know if the trip will be short or long!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@QueenofFrance08



QueenofFrance08 said:


> I would try to find a novice ride for your first ride. It's based on Competitive Trail rules (which are somewhat annoying, I myself prefer LD/AERC rules) where everyone has a goal time to finish and you get docked points if you come in more than 5 minutes before or after your goal time. It's a slightly slower pace (for some, for us at the beginning it was a faster pace than we did our LD's) but a good group setting for learning/no pressure for speed and certainly no cantering a full loop. Like I said I do LD's instead of Comp's (Both 25-35 miles) because I don't like all the weird rules but it's much less intimidating to start with until you know how your horse will act in that situation. Plus UMECRA counts Novice rides, gives ribbons, and has a division for points so you feel like you are really working towards something unlike Intros which never get recorded anywhere.


This is REALLY good information, thank you!! I can't even accurately express how grateful I am for this forum and the knowledge that is freely shared here. You are so right, I DON'T know how Zoie will be on the type of Novice ride put on at the Metroparks Express. My understanding is, we would NEED to be proficient in riding our "own race", regardless of who passes us at whatever speed or whoever flies by in the opposite direction. Lots of food for thought. I'll be checking in with local LD rides coming up that are along the lines of what you're saying. I need to be safe first and foremost! And do things the right way!


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@QueenofFrance08



QueenofFrance08 said:


> I would be a little worried about a bad fit. What seems like a bad fit on a trail ride is like a million times worse after 25 miles (says the girl with a white shouldered mare from a saddle that was sold to her by a "saddle fitter"


Oh no!! That's awful!!! About the white shoulders!! 

And you definitely have a point. My saddle shopping is based also on their return policy... but how can I know based on one or two short rides how it will hold up over long distances???



QueenofFrance08 said:


> I swear by the Toklat Matrix pads which have shims/inserts. My pad is worth 5 times more than my saddle currently (I got an Abetta endurance at an auction for $60 with a plain woolback pad included so those are slightly distorted numbers) and it is worth every penny! Of course I had to buy a Back on Track saddle pad liner to go with it because.... spoiled pony....


Hahaha! Hey, we can't really spare any expense when it comes to their backs. I am looking for comfort but definitely not at my mare's expense!

Maybe that's what I'll be doing... getting new stirrups, new pad and comfy seat cover!! Probably all together will cost roughly the same as a new saddle!! LOL!


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## QueenofFrance08 (May 16, 2017)

I totally agree with you! Without this forum I would never have known about endurance until I found @phantomhorse13 's journal! I read every page and I was hooked! She helps me A TON all the time! 

Just look for the word "Novice". I did some map searching and it looks like the Brighton Springs ride is close to Metropark (although in April!) and has a novice usually. The UMECRA convention is next weekend and the official calendar/ride flyers will be ready shortly after that to know for sure! 

I agree that you want to be able to ride your "own race" no matter what but there are just some things you can't accurately practice for. We have a lady here who rides and has literally 0 control over her bit 16+ hand horse. She rides at breakneck speed and refuses to slow down because she "wants her horse to be fast" and she has run several people off the trail. She's been reported to ride management every ride for being dangerous and at the last ride she was thrown off and seriously injured with broken bones and a punctured lung. We've been passed by her several times and shoved off the trail before. I now know Stitch well enough to know she's fine with that and doesn't care (aside from a head toss and a mare glare) but Jake will lose his mind if something like that comes past him. There's no way to practice for that! We practice being passed, being passed with speed, everything we can but.... Rides are a whole different animal. We've done everything you're supposed to, wait 5 minutes after everyone goes out, keep your pace, etc and it doesn't prevent the crazy! 

Personally I'm a bit of a nervous rider and I think having a novice style ride being my first ride versus an intro really helped me!


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## phantomhorse13 (Feb 18, 2011)

Joy Brock said:


> @*phantomhorse13* Now why ya gotta pee on my cheerios by talkin' sense, LOL!
> 
> I was excited at the prospect of buying a new saddle! XD
> 
> I've never ridden in what looks to be a very deep seat. I'm not a big fan of sitting tall so to speak and prefer to feel "held in" and since I've heard a lot of positive feedback on Australian saddles I felt like the seat looked somewhat similar?


 I would never waste yummy cheerios in such a way! 



The seat on that saddle seems unusual to me. Look at the swell of material behind the (very tall) pommel and how it dips dramatically to the seat:










now look at the seat on this aussie: 










versus this tucker:









and at this pandora:









do you see how different their shape is? maybe the picture angle on that gaited saddle is misleading.. but I am not so sure there is room for a human behind of any size.

there is feeling secure and held in.. and feeling like the front of your pelvis is being ground off against that super steep swell of material. maybe I am wrong and that saddle is the most comfortable thing ever - but I would sure want to sit in it before buying it!!


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## SwissMiss (Aug 1, 2014)

phantomhorse13 said:


> I
> do you see how different their shape is? maybe the picture angle on that gaited saddle is misleading.. but I am not so sure there is room for a human behind of any size.
> 
> there is feeling secure and held in.. and feeling like the front of your pelvis is being ground off against that super steep swell of material. maybe I am wrong and that saddle is the most comfortable thing ever - but I would sure want to sit in it before buying it!!


I did some image searching, and no, it is not the angle of the picture. The only way I can imagine sitting in that saddle is leaning far back, feet in front of me Harley-style...

And I get the wish for feeling secure and held in! I rode quite a bit in a Peruvian saddle and the only time I felt insecure was after a good oiling and I was slipping sideways :biggrin: But I sometimes wondered if I could bail if it ever got necessary :Angel:









That saddle didn't fit my horse anymore and I got a suspended-seat endurance saddle. Hardly any padding, but it feels like sitting on a cloud and very secure as well... The swell is quite high, but since it is like a hammock, it conforms to your shape.









Saddle shopping is _fun_ :Angel: But also nerve wracking and stressful. I can only recommend to sit/test ride the saddle you are interested in. Lots of people love their Abettas - I hate them with a passion and after 10 minutes my back hurts and my legs fall asleep... But I have to say they are light and grippy, though :wink:


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## CaliforniaDreaming (May 8, 2011)

QueenofFrance08 said:


> I'm an Abetta fan personally. After 4 varying price range saddles the only thing that fits my fat not so endurance built mare perfectly is an Abetta Endurance. She's gotten all A's on her back since we switched to it. I also bought a Ghost treeless for my birthday (end of October) but haven't gotten to ride in it much. A lot of people take the fenders off their Abetta's and replace them with biothane leathers to save their knees. My endurance buddy (who rides a TWH) has an Abetta with the gaited tree with biothane leathers on it. She loves it. If I end up using mine this season I'll get some pink leathers for it and a sheepskin cover.


I luuuuuuurve my Abettas. I pulled the fenders off to put biothane leathers on with a sheepskin seat saver and JMS sheepskin tubes over the leathers for a while, but went back to fenders (with stirrup turners) since I have a full sheepskin seat saver on it right now. I think sheepskin seat savers are a little bit of an addiction for me since I’ve got 4. One “deluxe” on my brown Abetta, the full western on the black Abetta, and then a full dressage in my dressage saddle, and my all-purpose full cover. Been pretty lucky to have gotten them secondhand/on sale.


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## knightrider (Jun 27, 2014)

> And you definitely have a point. My saddle shopping is based also on their return policy... but how can I know based on one or two short rides how it will hold up over long distances???


You can't know after two short rides. You can't even know after two years. It's so frustrating. I bought a super comfortable Paso Fino saddle that I thought fit my horse beautifully (and people who know more than I do said it too). I rode my horse Chorro in it for two years, thinking I had it made. Then my horse started stepping short on the right hind. I put my Aussie saddle on him, and within minutes he was striding out normally. People told me the Aussie doesn't fit him all that well. Then I bought @anitaAnn's Barefoot treeless saddle, which people told me fit him well. That seems to be working well, except the young adult who often rides him can't manage in that saddle. (I love it, AnitaAnn, and I think Chorro loves it.) I wondered if it was the young people I let ride him? Or the saddle? Now, I switch saddles on him every time I ride him. I love all 3 saddles, and as long as he doesn't ride too long in any one of them, he seems to love them too. Which saddle is best for him? HeckifIknow.


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@QueenofFrance08



QueenofFrance08 said:


> I totally agree with you! Without this forum I would never have known about endurance until I found @phantomhorse13 's journal! I read every page and I was hooked! She helps me A TON all the time!


I love her journal too!! 



QueenofFrance08 said:


> We have a lady here who rides and has literally 0 control over her bit 16+ hand horse. She rides at breakneck speed and refuses to slow down because she "wants her horse to be fast" and she has run several people off the trail. She's been reported to ride management every ride for being dangerous and at the last ride she was thrown off and seriously injured with broken bones and a punctured lung. We've been passed by her several times and shoved off the trail before.


That's absolutely insane. Sadly, people like this don't ever want to take responsibility for their actions and it's always "somebody else's fault"... :|


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@phantomhorse13



phantomhorse13 said:


> ...there is feeling secure and held in.. and feeling like the front of your pelvis is being ground off against that super steep swell of material. maybe I am wrong and that saddle is the most comfortable thing ever - but I would sure want to sit in it before buying it!!


Thank you for all the images and yes, you are right. It does look suspect. The last thing I want is my pelvis ground off!! :frown_color:

So, to start, I'm making a small $50 investment on some swivel stirrups and see if that helps. Unfortunately, I can't afford the gel seat right at this moment (I didn't get paid last week), but will get that next... or not if the stirrups don't work!


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## SwissMiss (Aug 1, 2014)

Joy Brock said:


> @*phantomhorse13*
> So, to start, I'm making a small $50 investment on some swivel stirrups and see if that helps. Unfortunately, I can't afford the gel seat right at this moment (I didn't get paid last week), but will get that next... or not if the stirrups don't work!


 
If you really like your current stirrups you could also look at these: 
https://www.amazon.com/Tough-Stirru...hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4584345016113841&psc=1


At less than $15 for the pair it may be worth a shot.:Angel:


And the advantage of those: there is no hard metal part to bang into your shins :wink:


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@SwissMiss



SwissMiss said:


> The only way I can imagine sitting in that saddle is leaning far back, feet in front of me Harley-style...


What does this visual crack me up so much?? :rofl:



SwissMiss said:


> And I get the wish for feeling secure and held in! I rode quite a bit in a Peruvian saddle and the only time I felt insecure was after a good oiling and I was slipping sideways :biggrin: But I sometimes wondered if I could bail if it ever got necessary


And being able bail is important! LOL




SwissMiss said:


> That saddle didn't fit my horse anymore and I got a suspended-seat endurance saddle. Hardly any padding, but it feels like sitting on a cloud and very secure as well... The swell is quite high, but since it is like a hammock, it conforms to your shape.


I was telling Phantomhorse13 that I just ordered some swivel stirrups to see if that will help my ankle. Can't afford a gel seat at the moment, but may not have to if the stirrups don't work out. And, if that happens, then I will definitely be saddle shopping! And, I'll be checking out a suspended-seat saddle. That sounds intriguing!



SwissMiss said:


> Saddle shopping is _fun_ :Angel: But also nerve wracking and stressful.


I'm fortunate in my that I believe my mare won't be too hard to fit as she is short-backed with low whithers :cowboy:

PS- your horse is absolutely ADORABLE


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

SwissMiss said:


> If you really like your current stirrups you could also look at these:
> https://www.amazon.com/Tough-Stirru...hvlocphy=&hvtargid=pla-4584345016113841&psc=1
> 
> 
> ...


WAIT A MINUTE.... why didn't I see those 5 minutes ago?! Just ordered the metal swivel ones.... oh well... dangnabit. I guess on the brightside, I've always wanted the "trail-type" stirrups with the big bottoms? Wide-bottoms?

And, I guess if those don't work, for such a low price, I'll grab those ones on Amazon before giving up on the saddle altogether...


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## SwissMiss (Aug 1, 2014)

Joy Brock said:


> PS- your horse is absolutely ADORABLE



Thank you. She is quite a hoot! And was a nightmare to saddle fit :evil: Her front and back don't fit together. Very steep at/behind the shoulder, and very flat (draft-style), on her back. Now I tell her she is my draft horse :rofl:


And I am in the same boat with being somehow infected by the bug by @phantomhorse13: I am planning on doing an Intro in March :shock: We just have to learn to gait in hand consistently :gallop: And me having the courage to actually go inkunicorn:


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## Joy Brock (Mar 11, 2017)

@SwissMiss



SwissMiss said:


> And I am in the same boat with being somehow infected by the bug by @phantomhorse13: I am planning on doing an Intro in March :shock: We just have to learn to gait in hand consistently :gallop: And me having the courage to actually go inkunicorn:


What does it mean to "gait in hand"?


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## SwissMiss (Aug 1, 2014)

Joy Brock said:


> @*SwissMiss*
> What does it mean to "gait in hand"?


The trot out for the vet? My mare is gaited, hence doesn't trot. And whoever broke her _really_ made sure she never, ever, goes faster than a quiet walk when led in hand. So we have our work cut out.


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