# Barn Owner's Daughter Aggressive w/ horses?



## TurnNBurn77 (Jul 18, 2013)

The barn we board at is owned by good friends of my parents. They are very nice, generous people who we get along well with. However, their 11 year old daughter is an only child and a little spoiled. She has a bit of a temper and I have seen her take it out on her horses more than once. Not leaving marks or seriously injuring them or anything, but taking a crop or hitting them with the nearest object for, what I would say, things that don't deserve that drastic of punishment. I can't say anything because they aren't my horses, but this girl has a little too much of an ego in my opinion.

Now I am a firm believer in standing your ground and not letting a horse walk over top of you or get away with bad behavior. Having an always dominant mare has taught me you can't let them push you around, so of course I have no problem with her or anyone disciplining my horse (in the appropriate manner) for bad behavior. But my horse is usually well mannered so it hasn't ever been a big problem. One day I was grooming my horse when the girl came up and started talking to me, telling me how my horse had been acting up the night before and while in her stall anytime the girl would walk by, she would charge at her, ears pinned and all. This struck me as strange because I've had her since she was 3 and she has never acted that way towards a human before. So I stopped grooming and turned around and looked at the girl, who was standing at the head of my horse, and my usual attention-hog, people loving horse has her ears pinned at this girl, and the girl says to my horse, "You just hate me, don't you Clover?"

I have no actual proof, but the way I have seen this girl handle other horses, and the way my horse acts only towards this girl, has led me to believe she might have taken her temper out on my horse more than a time or two while she was walking her to the pasture after feeding or whenever. My parents, sister, and I have all disciplined my horse when necessary and she has never reacted that way towards us. And unfortunately I can't prove that this girl has been too aggressive with my horse, and even if I was to say something to her parents, they let her treat her own horses that way, so I doubt they'd make her stop for mine. And also, they are the barn owners and can ask us to leave if we make them mad. It's a very sticky situation. :-x


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

How does she act aggressive towards horses? You never really tell us directly what she is doing.. only that your horse pins its ears at her..


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## TurnNBurn77 (Jul 18, 2013)

Well I have seen her hit her horses with a crop (and not just one or two little pops, i mean like whipping them), lead rope, brushes, her hands, yanks on their mouth hard while riding, even kick them while she was on the ground just for moving around or putting their head down to eat grass, little things that don't deserve what she does. She even screams at them and just acts overall aggressive to the point of being violent. I mean, as much as an 11 year old girl can be. I've never seen her do that to my horse, just her own. But my horse being a dominant mare is not going to submit like her horses do, which is why I think my horse is reacting aggressively towards her.


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

If you've seen her do this, I am sure her parents have as well. It's up to them to correct this kid's behavior, not much you can do about it, unless she does this to horses that don't belong to her or her family. But, if I saw her exhibiting this type of thing in front of her parents, I would make a comment and see how it goes.


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## TurnNBurn77 (Jul 18, 2013)

waresbear said:


> If you've seen her do this, I am sure her parents have as well. It's up to them to correct this kid's behavior, not much you can do about it, unless she does this to horses that don't belong to her or her family. But, if I saw her exhibiting this type of thing in front of her parents, I would make a comment and see how it goes.


Well I guess that's what I'm trying to figure out, is what do I do if I find out she's doing it to MY horse, like I already suspect?


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Tell a white lie. Say you don't think your horse should be handled by the kid for her own safety. Might get you sacked though if they depend on her to do chores. Personally, I don't want my horse being handled by a child, and made that clear to my BO.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## elbandita (Sep 13, 2013)

This is a familiar story. 
perhaps a oration with the parents of this child is in order. bring the behavior in to light and inquire about the barn owner being the person to interact with your mare. 

It's not worth your mare being abused to stay.


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## EdmontonHorseGal (Jun 2, 2013)

if the kid is treating horses this way, where did she learn it? from her parents? that would be my first concern if so, since your horse is under the care of her parents when you are not at the barn.


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## TurnNBurn77 (Jul 18, 2013)

EdmontonHorseGal said:


> if the kid is treating horses this way, where did she learn it? from her parents? that would be my first concern if so, since your horse is under the care of her parents when you are not at the barn.


I've never seen her parents act that way. In fact, her mom's horse has terrible manners because she never disciplines him at all. The dad has said something to the girl about hitting the horses before, but the mom is more "in charge" and doesn't do anything about it, so whatever the dad says to the girl is kind of cancelled out.


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## KigerQueen (Jun 16, 2013)

I would heed your mares warning. My mare is a sweetheart and is not a dominant mare, but she was abused. She is not afraid anymore of men or people. Recently my bf was taking out of her stall to do her feet (his dad and him are my farriers). He and his dad has been shoeing her for 3 years. She jumped, tossed her head up with wide eyes, acting like he was going to hit her (she was beaten when i got her and has not done something like that since 6 months after i got her). He has never hit her and she has never done this to him. BOs husband is not so nice to their horses but i never thought he was mean to my mare. Taking how she has been acting in mind i mentioned it to a mutual friend who said she has seen him be "rough" with my mare. So now I'm moving. The lesson? Always listen to your horse, they will tell you a lot.

Your mare is sending a clear message about this girl, I would ether say something to the BO ("Hey I have noticed Clover has been acting weird, like pinning her ears at people. Has anyone seen someone messing with her?") or move (I know that is easier said then done but still has to be stated.)


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

This behaviour is usually the result of teasing, however she is doing it. I knew of a gelding that became very people aggressive because, unbeknownst to the owner, kids were teasing the horse when he wasn't around. The kid's behaviour is often a reflection of what is going on in the home. Why her anger? This is only a symptom of something that has happened to her or is ongoing. Rather than make it confrontational, why not treat her to lunch and see if you can draw her out.


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## KBA6 (Aug 24, 2013)

Sometimes horses just do not like a particular person, especially if that person (or child) is acting badly towards them. And if she knows the mare doesn't like her, or "hates" her as well, maybe it is best that she doesn't touch your horse at all... for any reason. And I don't understand why she would have reason to unless there were an emergency. 

I had a barn manager who was more aggressive then I and my gelding just did not like her. He was head shy around her and didn't want to be caught by her in the pasture. I don't believe she was overly aggressive with him, because she just wasn't a very aggressive person with horses, but he still did not enjoy her company. So I let her know that I didn't want anyone touching him with out asking me first. 

There isn't any problem or drama in that statement. It is just a matter of concern for your and your horse. You don't want your mare to hurt anyone, and you don't want anyone ruining your training.

Keep it simple and professional and let the board owners know that you are concerned. That should be enough for them if they are professionals themselves.


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## Palomine (Oct 30, 2010)

If this horse of yours is doing this?

The girl is tormenting her. Plain and simple. Teasing her in the stall, taking her food away, beating her, or throwing things at her.

Kid may not be spoiled. Kid may be a sociopath instead. And your horse and the other animals are paying the price.

Your horse cannot tell you what is going on by picking up the phone. You know something is happening, and if you don't move the horse?

Then this is on you when something happens.

Kids like this can NOT be trusted. She could put poison in feed, thumbtacks, poison in water....all sorts of meaness, and your horse will pay the price.

Move horse now.

Parents of this kid, good friends or not of your family? Are idiots.


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## TurnNBurn77 (Jul 18, 2013)

Ok, I think that calling her a sociopath is a little too much. She's just a kid who has been allowed to think its OK to try to be dominant in an aggressive manner towards horses. She rides and shows and is actually a very good rider, and has several horses and I have seen her hysterical when one of her horses got hurt pretty bad in an accident fighting with another horse. I think she's just used to horses submitting to her, but my mare being the dominant mare of every horse on the property is just not one to submit as easily. She's never left a mark on a horse and I know she would never intentionally do that, she's just...more aggressive in her handling and my horse is not taking well to it. I'll just try talking to her and say that since my horse is acting that way towards her that she probably should let her parents handle my horse so that nobody gets hurt.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## farmpony84 (Apr 21, 2008)

Kids are taught things and when they are younger, they tend to overdue it. Because she's little she does need to make herself bigger and show her dominance in some situations but I've noticed that younger kids will take it over the top and will become almost abusive in the way they do things.


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## Palomine (Oct 30, 2010)

TurnNBurn77 said:


> Ok, I think that calling her a sociopath is a little too much. She's just a kid who has been allowed to think its OK to try to be dominant in an aggressive manner towards horses. She rides and shows and is actually a very good rider, and has several horses and I have seen her hysterical when one of her horses got hurt pretty bad in an accident fighting with another horse. I think she's just used to horses submitting to her, but my mare being the dominant mare of every horse on the property is just not one to submit as easily. She's never left a mark on a horse and I know she would never intentionally do that, she's just...more aggressive in her handling and my horse is not taking well to it. I'll just try talking to her and say that since my horse is acting that way towards her that she probably should let her parents handle my horse so that nobody gets hurt.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Up to you. Your horse.

But. Being a "good rider" has nothing to do with her behavior to horses at all.

And the fact that she has singled out your mare, may well mean she will be more than willing to continue to push her "dominance" over your horse. 

And while she may never have left a mark, that you know of at least, she IS leaving marks on your horse that aren't visible, except only by changed behavior. Which should be worrisome enough that you move. I would.

Seriously doubt that talking to her will do you any good at all, but do think it will make her step up her activities with your horse, to show it who is boss.

Good luck. And feel for your horse, as it is the one who will continue to be hurt in this.


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## .Delete. (Jan 7, 2008)

farmpony84 said:


> Kids are taught things and when they are younger, they tend to overdue it. Because she's little she does need to make herself bigger and show her dominance in some situations but I've noticed that younger kids will take it over the top and will become almost abusive in the way they do things.


I WAS that spoiled little 11yr old going around tormenting other people's horses. I feel like you're dealing with a 11yr old me. I started my horse career in a boarding facility. I had a terrible home life, I was angry and looking for an outlet. 

In my defense the BM was aggressive, loud, rough, and always high on drugs. She would join in with the torment as well. I remember we had a dominate little mare pony about 13h that I learned on. She would charge you when you walked past the stall.....I made a game out of it. I would intentionally get her to charge and I would blow in her face. I would stand just far enough away where she couldn't get me. I thought it was funny.

My first horse was a hardly green broke pony who was as aggressive as I was. So I learned to hit back harder and when in doubt, beat the horse. I was taught to "get angry" "get mad". It took YEARS for me to learn how to control my anger and not "over-correct" my horses. Almost every time I interacted with my horses for the longest time, it would end in tears. 

I think Farmpony is right in saying that younger children think they have to compensate and feel the need to hit harder. OR, this could be like my situation. She could have a bad home life, be angry, and this is her outlet for her anger. She is 11 and has no idea what she is doing. Children don't have the rationale to understand these things. I certainly didn't. There's many possibilities as to why she is the way she is.

I would remove my horse from that situation if I were you. Lord knows I wouldn't want my 11yr old self around any of my personal horses (if I owned any). Goodluck


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## n2sporthorses (Dec 16, 2013)

TurnNBurn77, your idea about handling the situation sounds like a good, tactful way to deal with it. I hope the girl listens to your wishes!


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