# Do you ever get discouraged?



## Boomer11 (Jun 11, 2012)

So I am at this point in my riding that I expect more of myself and I just keep falling short.

I've been riding my entire life but just hoping on a riding around, horses always scared me and I was timid. Last fall rode in a few play days and decided that I really liked this. I went to a Martha Josey camp in November and started riding more over the past four months when my Aunt brought her horses to my house after her divorce. 

This week has been tough in my personal life so like any horse person would do I spent a lot of time in the saddle, getting to know my new mare; or just sitting in the feed trough while my gelding, my heart horse, eats rattling on about anything and everything. 

The past two days I have been riding hard with my Aunt practicing the barrel pattern. My new mare which I've had for two weeks plowed over two barrels, all on my account. I keep forgetting minor things like forgetting to slide my hand down in a turn, keeping my feet forward, dropping my outside rein to soon, or over anticipating and causing her to do the same. I feel like I shouldn't be making these mistakes. I'm still not ready to run my gelding, who is a very experienced very fast barrel horse who gets really antsy and knows his job, at his full potential. It might be crazy that a novice rider rides an experienced "hot" horse but he's my love and we get along so well even at a slow run!

I set small goals for myself and have achieved them so far. Every run I've made has been faster and faster, two play days and one actual barrel race. I just don't feel like I'm progressing the way I should and I'm so discouraged. I wanna go and turn and burn and I just can't yet :-( I've always been an over achiever and pressure myself I guess I do that with my riding too.

Do any of y'all ever feel that way?


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## Brighteyes (Mar 8, 2009)

Oh my gosh, yes!

I see people who have had their horses for a year and can already do more than I can in my going on three years. There are kids years younger than me who show every weekend at those highend shows and have amazing horses. There are people my age who were in a similar situation to mine (green rider/green horse) who just did a better job with their animals and with themselves because they were just BETTER. Because they're faster learners or harder workers or just born lucky. 

I feel constantly like I should be better and have no excuse not to be and wonder why the hell I'm not THEM. 


So yeah... I get what you're feeling.


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## PurpleMonkeyWrench (Jun 12, 2012)

Yes I get discouraged LOL I was a decent rider until I had to take years off and gained 70 lbs. Now look at my thread of me falling off. Major setback. I don't even have the balance and rhythm I once had. My butt got off the ground in .5 seconds and kept at it.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

The first sentence.. yes yes yes.

You're being too hard on yourself. Everyone learns at their own pace, ride different horses that are trained at different levels, experience different things. Some of us catch on quicker than others and some of us take our time to get things right.

It's okay! Just back off of yourself and give yourself some credit!

Maybe you need to go back to a trot till you get the pattern down with the barrels. Only add some speed when you got it mastered at the slower gaits 

It's all good!


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

I think everyone gets discouraged. I totally do, I am in my mid 30s and have been riding all of my life. 

With the things that you are experiencing, I think you need for them to be second nature, so not something that you think about. If I were you I'd do a lot of practice at slower speeds until you don't think, you just act.


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## boldstart (Oct 11, 2009)

Yes. I think everybody does at some point.

You gotta show some strength and courage and fight through those tough times and always think postitive. =]]


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## WesternBella (Jan 7, 2012)

Always always always.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Boomer11 (Jun 11, 2012)

Skyseternalangel said:


> The first sentence.. yes yes yes.
> 
> You're being too hard on yourself. Everyone learns at their own pace, ride different horses that are trained at different levels, experience different things. Some of us catch on quicker than others and some of us take our time to get things right.
> 
> ...


Thank you! I've just been feeling so down on myself. Every time I ride I walk the pattern, trot the pattern at least 3 times, then lope through, and then I make a "run". I'm gonna start riding bareback and stirrupless to help my balance!


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## Boomer11 (Jun 11, 2012)

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels down and like I'm a slow learner! 

On a good note I was riding my new mare in the poles, we're not quite getting along as she's quite cantankerous, and I just wasn't feeling comfortable I couldn't tell if it was me or her, since she had been pastured for a year before I got her. I asked my aunt (who is my teacher, horse tuner upper, and riding partner) to run her through to see what was wrong. She did, gripping the saddle horn the entire time. After she dismounted she said "Well it's definitely her, she is a rough as a cob! I had such a hard time staying on and you did so great, I can really tell your riding has improved!" That made me feel so much better!

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement and the shared stories of your own problems. We will get there! Perfect practice makes perfect!


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## Amlalriiee (Feb 22, 2010)

I agree with the previous posters....we ALL get discouraged at times!!! It seems like you're going through a tough time anyway...and you're focusing on a competition goal to boot. I would focus on bonding first, especially where the mare is new to you. Go for walks with her, sit in the grass and watch her graze, take her for a laid-back trail ride. I'm not saying don't do barrels too, but don't make it your only focus--it sounds stressful! Be careful too, about making her barrel sour. If you're doing the patterns over and over and over and getting frustrated, she's probably frustrated too. Try to end on a good note, then go do something else with her. Good luck!


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## Boomer11 (Jun 11, 2012)

Amlalriiee said:


> I agree with the previous posters....we ALL get discouraged at times!!! It seems like you're going through a tough time anyway...and you're focusing on a competition goal to boot. I would focus on bonding first, especially where the mare is new to you. Go for walks with her, sit in the grass and watch her graze, take her for a laid-back trail ride. I'm not saying don't do barrels too, but don't make it your only focus--it sounds stressful! Be careful too, about making her barrel sour. If you're doing the patterns over and over and over and getting frustrated, she's probably frustrated too. Try to end on a good note, then go do something else with her. Good luck!


Thank you! I totally understand what you're saying.

I have spent some time riding her in the pasture and groom her everyday. I'm planning a trail ride next week with a friend of mine. We just haven't gotten it together yet! She's always trying to test me because I swear she knows I'm not experienced. I make a HUGE point to never get frustrated with my horses, in events I never believe it's their fault they are both seasoned professionals, haha, I just get frustrated with my self for making small mistakes. My Aunt always makes me end on a good note, then we go for a nice walk and a rinse off.


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## Skyseternalangel (Jul 23, 2011)

Wonderful attitude  Yeah just.. break it down into small steps, spend time with the horse so you get to "know" her, and be kind to yourself. You seem really stressed out to finish and get it down before the competition.

I kind of did the same thing when I head a deadline with Sky. It was October when I find out and I had till February to teach Sky how to canter, and to get him where he could do it without throwing a fit, changing leads, etc.

Sounds easy right? Well I became OBSESSED with trying to get that canter down. I threw everything else out the window (barely any off days, barely any hand grazing, etc.) it was just canter canter canter in my head. Well my horse began to avoid me out in pasture. That's his way of telling you "You are being way too serious my friend" and it took 5 times in a row to get through my thick skull that I needed to re-focus not on the canter, but on our relationship. I was sabotaging it by making it all about work and no play or down days. 

You are sabotaging your confidence and your abilities by pushing to get the pattern the pattern the pattern the pattern down perfectly. 

Re-focus, and things will improve.


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## Amlalriiee (Feb 22, 2010)

Horses will test you...but you will be fine. I agree with Sky, don't pressure yourself so much! I would just say avoid having a strict deadline. 

“If _you act like you_'ve only got fifteen minutes, it will take _all day_. _Act like you_'_ve got all day_, it will take fifteen minutes.” ― Monty Roberts


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## Cajunsauce (Jun 19, 2012)

I feel the same way. I have been riding for eight years and I feel like by now I should have accomplished something grand. People will tell me that I'm a good rider but it just does not translate to the show ring which is frustrating.


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## egrogan (Jun 1, 2011)

Boomer11 said:


> I've always been an over achiever and pressure myself I guess I do that with my riding too.


This is me to a T. My former instructor (wish I could still ride with her, but she's moved) told me this point blank the first time I rode with her- she said "if you don't let the perfection go, you're going to be second-guessing yourself every ride. And soon, your horse will be second-guessing you too."

It's great that your aunt sounds really horse savvy and can give you feedback. Keep her in the loop about your small goals, and ask her for specific feedback. But don't forget to ask about what you did _well_ on any given day too- I'm sure there are things that are improving, but you are downplaying them because of the focus on what could be better.

Good luck!


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## Boomer11 (Jun 11, 2012)

Thanks everyone! Y'all have all given great advice and I'm so grateful. I was planning on doing some riding today but it's been raining here  

I now have no deadline so I am taking everything easy now. We've been having these weird raining spells so my riding is erratic. But if the rain holds off my Aunt will be giving me lessons on tomorrow! I will update with how things go


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## Boomer11 (Jun 11, 2012)

Well tonight was great! I ran my fastest clocked time on my gelding and even had a bad last barrel, my previous time was a 21 something tonight I ran a 19.6. My mare and I made it all the way through the pattern twice without knocking over a barrel, which is a first for us, and clocked in at a 19.2 in an 18 second arena! I still made small mistakes but two of my goals have been met; 1. Get a faster time on my gelding. 2. Don't knock any barrels over. I'm proud of myself and my horses! Thank you for the support and encouraging words! I now know not to be too hard on myself.


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## VACowgirl (Aug 14, 2011)

This topic came at a good time! As I kick back with a beer after a TERRIBLE lesson this evening, I can't stop beating myself up. I even cried on the way home - definitely NOT cowgirl. Long story short, I'm on my third reining lesson and my instructor is a very well-known reining champ. I think it goes to his head sometimes. Anyway, he gets a little frustrated with me because I can't seem to get the hang of leads or posting the trot. I think I'm doing well for my third reining lesson, but his cockiness gets in the way sometime...as does my desire to be good at what I do. (I'm a small fry short of perfectionist). 

Anyway, he abandoned me mid-lesson and sent his student to teach me leads. I took it very personally and after some thought, rather than give up, I texted him my thoughts. He was apologetic. So we'll dust off and try again on Saturday.

I think when you're passionate about something, you're going to get discouraged sometimes. The key is to take it slow, and make sure you enjoy your time in the saddle or you'll become resentful.


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## countryjewel (May 29, 2012)

Congrats Boomer on a great ride! I guess that we all have discouraging moments. I have only been riding for 5 months, and VACowgirl, I can relate to the frustration and emotions. I have also been very emotional leaving the barn, feeling so down on myself, and then the next day will come and we'll have a break through. I really need to stop comparing my abilities to others, and focus on where I am right now, just slow it down. A good friend of mine starting riding a few months before me. She took 5-6 lessons a week for months, and now is a 'master rider', and she was very hard on me, constantly being a know-it-all, making me feel that I really knew nothing. Always stating her opinion, which of course was always right!!! It took me awhile to step away from that, and really focus on what I was doing, and being happy with where I am in my riding, and basically remember to have fun! Riding I think riding should be fun, not a chore. And enjoying the small things with my guy! Thanks for letting me vent, what a topic!


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## Amlalriiee (Feb 22, 2010)

Nice work Boomer!!!


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## Boomer11 (Jun 11, 2012)

I agree riding should be fun and sometimes I get so caught up in improving that I forget to have fun! You guys give the greatest advice and words on encouragement!

VA Cowgirl- That must be really frustrating. Good for you though! I'll tell ya this it took me FOREVER to learn to post. I had people try to explain it to me and I watched so many people trying to figure it out on my own. One day I was trotting a horse at the barn I work at and it just clicked! I got in rhythm with the horse and it just happened. Have fun and good luck!

Countryjewel- I know how frustrating that is. My little cousin is such a know it all and always has to trump everything I do, when in reality she can barely trot my mare through the pattern at a slow 40 seconds. 

Amlalriiee- Thank you!


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## VACowgirl (Aug 14, 2011)

Thank you so much! The teacher made me SO mad - he was like, "I wanna see you posted and I wanna see LAPS!" I'm like, Ok Drill Sergeant -_- I said, "Just let me feel the rhythm of the horse first, please." That ticked him off and it blew up from there...ARGH! So we'll see how Saturday goes. I'll just keep trying and trying until it clicks. Thank for the kind words


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## Leonsbrushofluck (Jul 1, 2012)

I'm actually Setting myself up at this point for this feeling. I have a 4 year old warmblood. He's currently in training with my dressage instructor and she rants and raves that she has never seen a horse move the way he does in 25 years, she traveled all over the world training. He had the most beautiful trot. BUT I have never taken a single lesson till now and I had no idea what posting the Trot is till now. So my trainer is trying to find a young at least second level rider to ride him as well. I can't help but feel I'm so far behind, I struggle so bad riding Leon and then this little kid who has been lucky to take lessons their whole life is gunna come and take him.  I hate it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Silver Wings (Jan 29, 2011)

I do get discouraged too, it's somehow "wonderful" to see that I'm not the only one 
Sometimes I just feel like I'm stuck in my development as a rider and handler and a liability to my horse, but it's not worth it giving up. It does get better with practice, and sometimes it's just that one has a bad week or so too.
It's great being around horses, and I feel very lucky for having my own lovely mare who's so patient with me :-D


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## arrowsaway (Aug 31, 2011)

Sometimes I still do, yes. I am a perfectionist, I guess you could call it. I am my own worst critic when I feel I fail to measure up to the standards I set.

It's a work in progress.... I'm learning to take a step back, and a deep breath, and tell myself that I set the bar, no one else, and I need to respect my own boundaries and skill level. 
I find that when I enjoy the simple successes, it gives me the confidence to attempt more difficult tasks.

I wish you luck. Focus, but don't forget to have fun.


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