# help that is no help



## flytobecat (Mar 28, 2010)

Sorry, no stories to share, but I sympathize with you.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Thanks flytobe...it helps. ***sigh*** Poor me.


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## Shropshirerosie (Jan 24, 2012)

Sooo... Your husband was prepared to stand for 20 minutes holding on to an animal that he has zero interest in, while you ignored him. He made an understandable error, and she kicked out at him. Then you got cross with him?? I'm not sure why he hasn't fired you to be honest! :lol:


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## mtngrl7500 (May 29, 2011)

I understand. I normally never ask non-horse people to ever help me with anything, I'm more of a I'll just do it myself person. I'll never forget when I got Dora, I had to pull some blood on her to send in with registration. I had her tied and she was being a little dancey, nothing bad, but not standing still...normal yearling fidgets. The GF of a boarder walked over and asked if she could help me in some kind of way and I said "yeah, just hold her head". This girl literally bear hugged Dora's face. Dora was shocked enough that she stood still, I pulled blood, and then I explained the proper way to hold her head. Afterwards, to myself, I was like "did that seriously just happen?". I mean, her BF had horses and was at the barn all the time with him, I know not once has she ever seen anyone hold a horse that way.


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## Thunderspark (Oct 17, 2012)

LOL my hubby loves the horses but doesn't ride or really have any contact with them other than scratching them.....he does put out the bales for me though LOL
He would come down the odd time to watch me work with horses, then because he watched a couple training DVDs he thought he knew how to train, I told him until I see him in here training a horse to be quiet (well not quite as nicely said though) LOL


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Shropshirerosie said:


> Sooo... Your husband was prepared to stand for 20 minutes holding on to an animal that he has zero interest in, while you ignored him. He made an understandable error, and she kicked out at him. Then you got cross with him?? I'm not sure why he hasn't fired you to be honest! :lol:


Well, I hadn't looked at it _that _way. It's always good to look at things from a different perspective.


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## sandy2u1 (May 7, 2008)

How irresponsible, inconsiderate and rude of you!

It is your responsibility as the horse owner to work through any issues your horses may have. It is also your responsibility to teach anyone that is going to be handling them how to properly do so. Why would you hand your horse off to someone that usually just hands you things, not bother to teach him anything and then proceed to question and gripe at him for not doing things right?

And why would you expect anyone to stand and hold your horse for 20 minutes just for that, much less a non-horsey person? Why not put her in her stall or pasture or wherever you keep her?

I really hope you apologize to your DH and I really hope you haven't put him off to the whole horse thing altogether.


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## SlideStop (Dec 28, 2011)

Rude...

Sounds like someone is a hair over protective of their horses. How about sticking the mare out in her paddock and making her suck up that "jealously". I'm sure a flake of hay will do the trick. If that doesn't work maybe you other half can go in with a top hat and cane and do a little number for her? Or maybe ditch that idea and hire her very own message therapist for the down time? Or maybe a psychologist to help her with her issues? 

Be grateful you have someone will to stand there against there will with a spoiled rotten horse. Don't like it? Good luck finding someone else who will tolerate that.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

Where the heck is the tickle spot?


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## NordicJuniper (Jun 9, 2009)

^^ I am curious of this as well. 

I am not going to say anything else about the situation as it really isn't my business to delve into your personal life. But I am curious as to what the tickle spot is/where it is.

I am guessing by flank you mean the area where the hair grows the opposite direction [it grows sort of up] between their stomach and hip? If so then I am surprised your mare kicks out because of that being touched. My gelding is trained that when I put pressure on that spot he is to move over. That is what I have done with every horse I have worked with. In that case, me being an experienced horse person unlike your DH, I still would have done the same thing he had done.


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## Paintlover1965 (May 22, 2009)

I suppose I am fortunate enough to have a husband who interacts well with the horses and loves them almost as much as I do-hahaha. He initially had some trouble handling my Arab/Saddlebred gelding as he has a larger than life persona. He now understands him better and his quirks. I think you need to help your husband out and teach him how to properly handle your horse so that its safe for him. I'm sure you wouldn't want him to get injured if at all preventable. Good luck!


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## waresbear (Jun 18, 2011)

Well at least he tried!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Prinella (Jul 12, 2011)

I'm my opinion anyone that you expect to be around your horses must know how to do so safely. It sounds as though you're anthropomorphizing this mare a bit. Let her deal with these issues on her own.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## jinx1990 (Nov 17, 2012)

Wow if I said half the things you said to my non horse boyfriend he would have walked away and never helped me again. He did you favor so I would just let it go and work with your mare on her kicking out when touched.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Saranda (Apr 14, 2011)

It's really your responsibility to teach anyone who handles your horse how to handle him.

And, about the tickle spot - never in my life I've let a horse stay with such an attitude, NEVER. Kicking is not a thing to tolerate just because you presume it's a tickle spot - you put anyone who handles your horse in danger of injury.


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## kitten_Val (Apr 25, 2007)

My qh is (rather) well-trained yet I don't let my husband to deal with her. Simply because she's a strong alpha and takes advantage of anyone she can (NO kicking or biting though), and with him knowing nothing about horses (and not having real desire to learn) I'd rather be safe. 

So yes, to the horse person holding a horse for 20 mins doesn't sound like a rocket science, however for the person with no experience and horse that can take advantage (or spook) it can be a tough task. :wink:


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

Wow......my husband would have walked away and never helped me again......although I wouldn't have asked him to hold my horse for 20 minutes either.....horse would've been tied to a post and left there until I was done, and if she was a brat I would've left her there.....

As for touching the flank.......any horse who kicks out when it's flank is touched wouldn't be left in the hands of a non-horsey person......

I personally think your request of your husband was unreasonable and your response to his trying to handle your horse with a 'tickle spot' in my mind was unreasonable.........

Tie her to a post and save yourself the grief.........


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## wetrain17 (May 25, 2011)

This could have been a great teaching opportunity on your behalf for your DH. I hope you have not put him off too much in helping. You have to remember that even though you have been around horses for a long time, the DH hasn't and doesn't look at them the same or see the dangers. I try to explain anything to anyone that isn't experienced around horses like I would to a 4 or 5 year old. Be very clear, spell everything out, ask questions on what you just said, and keep a watchful eye at all times.


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## acorn (Nov 27, 2012)

If I were your hubby I'd quit, no notice given and Miss Mare needs to learn "thou shall not kick when near people for whatever reason".


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## ReiningCrazy (Jan 20, 2012)

Question as I am really interested.... If a horse is dancing and swinging their hip how do you get your horse to move the hip? I dont like the statement that touching that "tickle spot" will have most horses kick or worse. If a horse is dancing on the end of their lead for any reason and swinging their hip how do you get them to move their hip without touching them? I know I have always touched them lightly to get them to move any part of their body, and NEVER had I have a horse kick or worse and that is including our 2 year olds and studs that I might be holding.


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## Endiku (Dec 6, 2010)

I'm sorry, but I can't give you even an ounce of sympathy either. Your mare should know not to kick (by the way, I move my mare's hindquarters by touching her flank as well, or pushing lightly if she doesnt respond immediately.) You've been told this by everyone else though, so let me ask you this.

Say your Husband loves cars. (might be sports, or bikes, or whatever...) They're his passion, just like horses are your passion. Do you help him with odd jobs like handing him wrenches or such? If you do, good. You're doing almost as much as he is when it comes to doing the 'non-personal' stuff with what he loves to be helpful. But what if he asked you to stand there and just be 'moral support' and 'be sweet' for a good half hour or more, just staring at him as he changed the oil on his old junker car that he's trying to get running, and actually act really interested and learn to do it, completely by yourself, just by observing him?

Go further. What if, after watching him for that time, he suddenly hands you the oil changing equipment and such and tell you 'Ok, I dont want to work on this anymore but it still needs done, so why don't you do it by yourself while I go work on my Camaro for a while?' would to agree to do it? Maybe, maybe not.

But if you did agree, can you completely change it, going off of memory without asking him ANYHTING, and do it exactly like he would? NO! You most likely can not, and even if you can, you should not expect that everyone else can.

And when you mess up accidently (and remember, you were trying your _very_ hardest to please him and help) he comes marching over, yelling at you that 'how dare you mess up, its SO simple, I can't believe you didnt even see how _I_ did it a few minutes ago and now you've ruined it you good for nothing wife!' 

How would you feel? Rotten? Mad? Would you ever volunteer to help him again? I know I wouldn't. Heck, I give him brownie points if he even went to the barn with you again or continued trying to help you! Its not his fault that your horse has tempermental issues, just like it wouldn't be your fault that an oil change on an old car would be hard for you...even if its a totally normal, mundane task for him.


If your mare can't even handle being tied up for 20 minutes while you work with the baby, she definitely shouldn't have been handed over to a non-horsey person. Thats just asking for trouble.


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## Annanoel (Mar 29, 2011)

I have no sympathy either. Having a horsey DH or not, I LOVE for them to be out at the barn with me. Whether feeding, riding or training. If he didn't know what he was doing I would have helped him and not scolded him. For the horse, she shouldn't have kicked out in the first place! That's not right, horses don't just kick out because they're "tickled" plain and simple, touching my horse there or ANYWHERE and applying pressure he moves AWAY. Doesn't kick...I feel sorry for your DH, sounds like he was just trying to help.


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## themacpack (Jul 16, 2009)

So you have an ill-behaved mare that you have not trained not to kick (as has already been said, your excuse for her behavior simply is no excuse - it is entirely possible, I'd say necessary, for a horse to be taught that is NOT an acceptable response to any touch) and a husband who is a saint.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Well, what an unsympathetic crowd.:lol:

I have seen few horses that will not involuntarily respond to pressure near their "individually located" point of the hip, what I call the tickle spot on the flank. I train all my horses, including my mare, to move any part of their body that I "decisively" _point_ at - _not_ touch. There is no need for my needs to try and train involuntary responses out of them. I had asked him to keep her busy/company. He, I suppose, got bored and was asking her to do things he has seen me do. Only, he hadn't paid close enough attention during the _multitude_ of times he has seen me ask one of my horses to move some part of their body one way or the other to notice I _point_, _not_ touch. There was no "need" for him to have her move her hindquarters. I _suppose_ it was my fault for not tellng him to _just_ hold her, do not ask her to do anything.

But, point well taken...DH is a saint. :? Honestly macpack, you know how to hurt a person.  I almost _never_ ask him to hold my horses or interact in any way, only this was a special case. She stands tied just fine except at this point in time which I expect will quickly pass. I just needed a _little_ help. I incorrectly assumed he could hold my sweet lovable mare  w/o an incident after all these years of being w me and my horses. There have been dozens if not hundreds of times I "wished" I could ask him to do some simple task - but didn't b/c I knew it would be above his pay grade and potentially dangerous. It was the frustration of asking him to help this _one time_ which I firmly believed he could manage.

At least he has learned enough to notice it is like "night and day" (his words) between holding my untrained filly (which he has done w/o incident for a minute or less at at time) vs my mare. My mare is far from "difficult" to hold. 

I will make a note of it: re-hire DH, apologize, have him sainted, provide/offer him more training.

Come on guys...its frustrating to have a non-horsey DH! He isn't the victim here. Either way, thank you all, it has forced me to rethink my perspective.<<sigh>>


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## ReiningCrazy (Jan 20, 2012)

Okay please forgive me I am still interested in how this works. So I am holding your mare while you are with your filly. Her jealousy is acting up and she is now dancing on the lead. How would I get her to move her hip if she is not paying attention to me but paying attention to you with the filly? I can stand there and point all day but if she isnt focused on me how is she going to figure out what I want? Im trying to think if I was not a horse person. 

In my barn if you are beside the horse doing anything from grooming to fixing tack the horse is suppose to look straight ahead not looking at me. This way they dont get hit by an elbow when trying to tighten the cinch, or tempted to nip at clothing. So if I am beside my horse he is looking straight ahead but I need him to move his hip, how do I get him to move it if I just point at it? I normally would just lightly touch him and he moves.

Sorry I am not the most experienced horse person so I am wondering how this works.


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## Cherie (Dec 16, 2010)

Still shaking my head here.

This spoiled horse has YOU trained She desperately needs to be taught to tie anytime, anywhere, for any length of time with anything going on around her. 

She desperately needs to be taught to move from pressure when asked to move -- no matter where the pressure is applied.

She desperately needs to be taught to respect anyone that is handling her. 

You are putting all of the blame in the wrong place. She just has horrid manners.

Goes back to shaking head.


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## acorn (Nov 27, 2012)

A horse should be taught safe behavior around humans. Safe behavior includes not to kick, bite, step on a person who is holding them or near them.
The humans should not be required to learn special signals or risk being kicked.
Does your vet, farrier, etc. all understand the signal? I hope so.


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## crimsonsky (Feb 18, 2011)

bit of a sidebar - i understand DH stands for husband but what is the D for? Dear? that sounds silly to me. someone?


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## Dreamcatcher Arabians (Nov 14, 2010)

crimsonsky said:


> bit of a sidebar - i understand DH stands for husband but what is the D for? Dear? that sounds silly to me. someone?


LOL! In my house it varies with the day/application. It can mean Dear, Darling, D*mned, whatever word fits that starts with D. :lol:


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Gah... I know you're just ranting.
She will calm down and I "know" you put more time into her than I do my three combined! No worries girl.  
I would (and have been) miffed when DH takes matters into his own hands instead of asking ?'s, which he should have done instead of poking her in her flank.
But you must apologize, grovel, and re-hire the poor dear! LOL!

So I'll join you. LOL!

I turned DH into a horseman, taught him to ride by taking him camping with the horses for a week and "forgetting" to load the saddles... Ha HA!! Boy could ride when we got home!

But now he's starting to get an opinion, not exactly what I was going for... He also doesn't have "horse" burned into his brain like I do. When things get hairy he cuts and runs, often bad things *could* happen. He is also controlling when I'm messing with them.
The other day I was calling them in to feed... Here they come tearing through the pasture bucking and kicking at one another. He starts screaming bloody murder waiving his arms and running around (like thats going to help me, RIGHT?) and yelling for me to get out of there. I smile, do my I'm boss moves and they come sliding to a stop in front of me. They waited till I poured and went to their assigned buckets.
Now I know DH loves me but WTH! So dude got a lecture.
You don't start screaming and waiving and running at a bunch of excited horses with your wife in the middle of the field, RIGHT? Where is your common sense? 

We all snap, we all have our "WTH you can't read minds?" moments. I can read his mind, but that's easy, it's usually only thinking one thing...


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

ReiningCrazy said:


> Okay please forgive me I am still interested in how this works. So I am holding your mare while you are with your filly. Her jealousy is acting up and she is now dancing on the lead. How would I get her to move her hip if she is not paying attention to me but paying attention to you with the filly? I can stand there and point all day but if she isnt focused on me how is she going to figure out what I want? Im trying to think if I was not a horse person.
> 
> In my barn if you are beside the horse doing anything from grooming to fixing tack the horse is suppose to look straight ahead not looking at me. This way they dont get hit by an elbow when trying to tighten the cinch, or tempted to nip at clothing. So if I am beside my horse he is looking straight ahead but I need him to move his hip, how do I get him to move it if I just point at it? I normally would just lightly touch him and he moves.
> 
> Sorry I am not the most experienced horse person so I am wondering how this works.


The reason I asked him to hold her is b/c she does _*not*_ "dance" when held b/c she is fairly well trained and has outsanding ground manners. Just so I don't get some snide comment (not from you, btw) about her kicking when pushed in the wrong area, let me define excellent ground manners...she stands stalk still if you are just holding her, and you can do whatever it is you feel like doing, pop open an umbrella, throw a football, dance a jig, toss pizza, _whatever_....she will not move And you can put her _anywhere_ at any angle, or any combination of angles you want her to go - bathe her (_any_ part of her) at liberty and she will not move, etc. etc,. As a _"termporary"_ response to the new arrival when tied she _does_ dance, paw, bang etc., while I am working w the filly. I was not surprised at this behavior, I figured it was temporarty, and as expected it has greatly improved since "day one" of the new arrival..hence it _is_ temporary. For those that would just tie them and let them fuss...more power to you. I didn't choose to do that. I intended to work w her again, and just wanted to be able to work "in peace" w the filly which I rarely work w for more than 20 minutes at a time, hence, I knew it would be more than 20 minutes. If he had asked her correctly she could have responded in kind.

Most any horse...I say most b/c I have notice my new filly isn't quite the same as "most", will move away from "pointing" (with a training whip to begin with) at certain parts of their body _unless_ they are by nature "dead to the world" or have previousely been trained to be so. So, it is easy to train them to move on cue.


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

You may want to consider training her for more "traditional" methods of moving over. If I'm at the barn and a horse is in my way, I will ask it to move over by touching their hindquarters area, and have no problem asking them to yield using their -um - "ticke spot." I expect them to not kick no matter WHERE they are being touched. Ronan has gotten grumpy lately and I have no problem carrying a crop and having a "don't you ******* dare" moment if he even threatens to get mean. 
I do not "point" at a horse to get them to move over. I apply pressure and increase intensity until I get a reaction. I would never (and I've been around horses for 20 years) even think that "pointing" is the first way to go about it. 
I suggest you work on the mare's manners to accept pressure wherever without complaint. What if someone else has to handle her? They aren't going to point.. They could get seriously hurt. What if you ever have to sell? Or (heaven forbid) something happens to you and you can't be there to handle her? She should be safe enough for someone else to handle her - traditionally - without incident.
My DB held Ronan for 5-10 mins once when I was taking some photos. Poor guy did it but was miserable.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## JustDressageIt (Oct 4, 2007)

Re: your latest post - you don't seem surprised that she kicked when he asked her the "normal" way, and you seem mad he didn't follow your special, non contact way. That's what I am concerned about. He asked her the way I would have, and most of us would. Kicking is unacceptable IMO and should not be tolerated. 
Be thankful that your DH is not hurt and that he continued holding her despite being kicked at. That likely would have spooked many other people, horsey or not.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

I would expect a well trained horse to move without being touched! I don't touch mine, I move towards the area I want moved and they do it. I'm the boss.
That's pretty "traditional".
I also wouldn't tolerate a horse around a newbie that had to touch or push it out of the way. That is a lack of respect. Any horse at any time (except for those rare rare few golden oldies) would act out if suddenly poked when it's in a tizzy.


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## ReiningCrazy (Jan 20, 2012)

Okay, FlyGap... if you move towards the area and they move without you touching it, how do you walk up to them? Im thinking if my horse knows everytime I walk up to that part of them how to do they figure out I want them to move or if I want them to stand still. I want the hindend to move, I walk up to them they move it, but the next time I just want to brush it and walk up to them and they move it... well I didnt want them to move it. What do you do differently for them to move it or stand still without touching them?

It is interesting to see how different people train and expect horses to do different things from other people.


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

Aside from the tickle spot *nonsense*, and the way that you have trained your horse to move over (which I wouldn't know either)....

You knew your horse was going to be a problem. So much of a problem that she couldn't be tied up, so you gave her to an inexperienced person. In my opinion, you put your DH in a dangerous situation. 


My DH is not horsey, if he were in a situation where he was kicked, that would be my fault for putting him in that situation. My anger would be towards the horse who kicked, and my concern would be towards my DH who could have been injured. 

My husband's safety and well being is far more important to me than any training need/desire I might have. If I thought (which you did) that my horse might be a problem in a given situation the FIRST thing I would do is get DH out of the way. The LAST thing I would do is leave him in a situation where he might get hurt. 

You never said, but I assume and hope your DH is ok. 
You never said, but I assume and hope that your horse was taught a serious lesson after this (tickle spot or not). 
My horse would SEVERELY regret making a decision to kick out at Brad, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry he would be about that decision. 






Missy May said:


> I didn't want to tie or pen my mare b/c she is still dealing w the emotional distress of me giving any attention to the new arrival and she can make a big production when subjected to watching me one-on-one w the new squirt.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Body language. Lowered shoulders, focused attention on a particular area, moving my feet, extending my arm outwards away from them directly to the right.
If I want to touch them or stop them I stop my feet, relax, angle my shoulders away, say woah. They don't move.

Curious too!
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

FlyGap said:


> Gah... I know you're just ranting.
> She will calm down and I "know" you put more time into her than I do my three combined! No worries girl.
> I would (and have been) miffed when DH takes matters into his own hands instead of asking ?'s, which he should have done instead of poking her in her flank.
> But you must apologize, grovel, and re-hire the poor dear! LOL!
> ...


 
haha, that made me giggle so hard DH asked me what I was laughing at. I immediately minimized the screen..."um, nothing". 
A kindred spirit! Shwew! Nice to see you, fly, in this particlurly unsympathetic pasture. 
You should make a video, Fly! "Husband whisperer"! I didn't exactly throw a frying pan at DH, and I love him to death. He takes being fired every so often in stride, he can handle it. 
haha..."I can read his mind".
At first I tried to get him interested, I even gave him a big bay I had at the time believing that having one of his "own" would instantly make him super interested...not. He wouldn't listen, and I would get scared out of my mind watching him do stuff. He seemed to think, "how hard could it be", well...a little harder than "nothing". He finally just told me he had no interest although he loved our horses as "big dogs", but would help me when he could (hark, I can hear the chanting of the "saint him now" crowd growing louder). But, now _this_ is odd..he likes Jolene quite a bit. Of all the horses? Jolene? He even seems somewhat interested in riding her after she is trained. He is tall so I don't know how he'd look on little miss shorty but I know the little tank can hold him. If something went wrong, he could just "step off". 
So, my wheels are spinning....maybe he would listen better and get more involved if Jolene was his horse...but then I don't know if I want him to start "getting an opinion", either:wink:.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

AlexS said:


> Aside from the tickle spot *nonsense*, and the way that you have trained your horse to move over (which I wouldn't know either)....
> 
> You knew your horse was going to be a problem. So much of a problem that she couldn't be tied up, so you gave her to an inexperienced person. In my opinion, you put your DH in a dangerous situation.
> 
> ...


You need to work on your priorities! :rofl: Come on now, I am kidding.

Of course he wasn't hurt. She kicked straight back from his description, not out. She had gotten to "dancing" after he did this, which is understandable and is also when I looked over. BUt, no, I do not reprimand my horses when they have done nothing wrong and/or wouldn't understand moments later what I was "teaching them" no matter the offense. 

Now, for the millionth time, she behaves like a real lady _when held_ no matter what the circumstances (including new filly being worked with)which is _why_ I asked him to hold her, otherwise there was _nothing_ to gain by having him hold her vs tieing her. And, she ordinarily ties just fine - except at this _short lived_ "getting over it" phase w the new filly.

As far as what I call the "tickle spot", all horses have one in that area (in the concave area below the point of the hip, for lack of a better description). It is an _involuntary_ response. It is rarely "located" by accident...so what _were_ the odds?? I am sure your horses are no exception, I just wouldn't advise trying to locate it.


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## BarrelracingArabian (Mar 31, 2010)

I would NEVER accept a horse kicking out like that. No matter how you have her trained she should not react like that to being touched. Fine you move your horses without touch but he is nonhorsey my bet is even if he had tried that she wouldnt have listened because he doesn't have the knowledge to do it properly.
Your husband is NOT at fault here YOU are. I don't care how a horse is trained kicking is never ok and especially not because you push or touch them somewhere. My horse woulda been forced to move their feet with or without pressure whatever it took and touched repeatedly in that spot till they stopped moving. 
I do not sympathize with you in the least. 
Being a horse person you should know to never assume someone knows what they are doing. Your horse acting out is your fault.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## AlexS (Aug 9, 2010)

Missy May said:


> BUt, no, I do not reprimand my horses when they have done nothing wrong and/or wouldn't understand moments later what I was "teaching them" no matter the offense.


Your understanding of 'done nothing wrong' and mine are entirely different apparently. Your horse kicked at your husband. 

Your husband, your horse, your choice. My horse would be in fear of his life in the same situation. 



Missy May said:


> Now, for the millionth time, she behaves like a real lady _when held_ no matter what the circumstances (including new filly being worked with)


Apparently not. 



Missy May said:


> I am sure your horses are no exception, I just wouldn't advise trying to locate it.


I am very well aware of my horses anatomy. I can assure you that I can touch any part of his body, 'tickle spot' or not and my horse would not kick out.


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## themacpack (Jul 16, 2009)

I would guess if your methods were so great your husband would not have almost been injured by your horse for merely touching her *shrugs*


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

ReiningCrazy said:


> Question as I am really interested.... If a horse is dancing and swinging their hip how do you get your horse to move the hip? I dont like the statement that touching that "tickle spot" will have most horses kick or worse. If a horse is dancing on the end of their lead for any reason and swinging their hip how do you get them to move their hip without touching them? I know I have always touched them lightly to get them to move any part of their body, and NEVER had I have a horse kick or worse and that is including our 2 year olds and studs that I might be holding.


If the horse is dancing at the END of the lead, then you're in prime position to get your head knocked. What I do about it, I don't give em enough rope to get that far ahead or around me to be able to line me up......land quite honestly if a horse is going to try and kick me on the lead, I whip it's head around so fast he doesn't know what's happened, and if I'm really peeved and the horse is being dirty I kick him right in the gut while I'm at it (125lb woman - 1200lb horse:?) ....that is worse case scenario. 

When a horse is beng dirty on the end of a lead, it's not a good time to have any length as long or short as a lead rope in between you and the horse, it's either 20ft line and away from you or your right beside his shoulder with around 1.5ft of lead between his chin and your hand......any distance in between those two is just the gray zone......not good.


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## jinx1990 (Nov 17, 2012)

I'm sorry but I am not sympathetic with you on this at all. All my horses are trained to move over by pointing or stepping towards them. But even if I did touch them they would NEVER kick...even that tickle spot. And I did take the time to show the BF how to move my gelding ever (he knows only I handle my mare). It only took a few minutes and made feel better about him handling my gelding. I showed him a few things he can do with horse on the ground...moving him over, backing up, etc and he loved it and now he feels a little more comfortable around the horses because he CAN handle them if needed. I think just spend a little time with DH -but make it fun- so that both of you feel comfortable.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Delfina (Feb 12, 2010)

So how do you ask a horse to move it's rear over when it's head is buried in the clouds daydreaming of the cute lil filly in the next pasture over?

I can touch any of the horses where I board and I do it all the time. They sure as heck aren't watching to see if I am staring at their bum during feed time, no they have their heads buried in the feed pan and if I want them to scootch their bum over so I can clean under it, I poke 'em and say "move it". Some are a bit more aware then others and I can just say "move it" and they will but most of them need a "Hey, pay attention here! touch". 

Oh heck, come to think of it I am constantly touching/poking all of them. I want to ENSURE that a horse knows when I am behind it (got a few retired olides with vision issues) or going to put a shovel behind it, so I put a hand on their bum as a "heads up, person/object behind you" warning. Nobody has ever even dared to threaten to kick. Some have jumped a bit as I startled them (the ones with vision issues) but that's it.


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

Missy May said:


> You need to work on your priorities! :rofl: Come on now, I am kidding.
> 
> Of course he wasn't hurt. She kicked straight back from his description, not out. She had gotten to "dancing" after he did this, which is understandable and is also when I looked over. BUt, no, I do not reprimand my horses when they have done nothing wrong and/or wouldn't understand moments later what I was "teaching them" no matter the offense.
> 
> ...


The 'tickle spot' as you call it in the flank...kicking when touched there an involuntary response?? Are you kidding? Well if that was true I would've had my block knocked off over a thousand times right now......I clip that area out on horses all the time.....never been kicked doing it.
You're making excuses.


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## BarrelracingArabian (Mar 31, 2010)

I agree with muppet cause I've never had a horse kick out just by being touched in that spot
In fact i poke the horses i work around all the time and brush over that spot as well. I agree its an excuse for her misbehavior. You say she is a perfect lady but obviously she has issues if she acted that way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DrumRunner (Jan 26, 2011)

Just wow, there's so much fail in the way you handled that situation. I knew we didn't agree on much before but you've definitely topped the charts with his one. 

If I were your DH I would have dropped the lead then and there and never helped you again. What a snotty way to act towards him for trying to help you. As many others have pointed out, your mare is a brat and you let her get away with everything. She's a liability to others who don't know your mare or inexperienced people. There are a ton of people who just don't know better, I'm guessing your DH is among that crowd. Take a nice look at things for what they are and stop making excuses and having a pity party, you won't get one here.

Tickle spot - ha! If any of my horses kicked out EVER when I asked them to move over by touching them we would have a come to Jesus meeting and they'd never think about kicking out again. That is nothing but a dangerous, disrespectful, and inexcusable habit. I do not tolerate kicking.


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## Annanoel (Mar 29, 2011)

Muppetgirl said:


> The 'tickle spot' as you call it in the flank...kicking when touched there an involuntary response?? Are you kidding? Well if that was true I would've had my block knocked off over a thousand times right now......I clip that area out on horses all the time.....never been kicked doing it.
> You're making excuses.


TOTALLY agree here, my DH is horsey (luckily) but it would still be at my fault if my horse was disrespectful and kicked out when touched! Any horse at the barn or my horses know to move off pressure or even move a section or away in a direction I want by me directing them with body language. If my horse kicked out I would expect my DH to have a come to jesus meeting with him. Even if your DH wasn't horsey then like others have said YOU put him into this position without any obvious knowledge. Let's just say your mare does this _involuntary _kicking when touched there, you should have told him this! I DO NOT tolerate, biting, kicking or anything of the sort and am sure many others here don't hence the unsympathetic pasture.  Not getting on you at all or any harsh feelings, but two things I hold close my horse and DH, they are not allowed to hurt one another and behave accordingly. :wink:


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Missy-I have to go with the majority. if your horse kicks when someone touches this mythical "tickle spot" how in the he!! do you groom her well? Yes, some are more "ticklish" than others, meaning that perhaps they move their skin like they would for a fly. NOT KICK! I don't give a rats behind where I or anyone else touches my horse-he had better not kick, or he is going to have a very serious issue and we are going to have a little "religious moment". AS far as your are being such an angel-it is pretty obvious you are less than objective when seeing her and her behavior.

I will also just tell you, that after being married almost 35 years, there is no other person or animal, including myself, who is more important than my DH. Period. His needs come before mine, and with him-mine comes before his. That is the balance. I would never think of putting anyone inexperienced in the position you did, I just think it is rude and inconsiderate when someone is nice enough to try and enjoy something they don't because you (someone they care about) do. Then to have you yell at him? Wow. You owe him a BIG apology. Some DH's would have already called the lawyer.:wink:

On the other hand, guess this is why people who try and train by just watching (ie a video of s trainer......**ahem**) are usually not successful. There is something they miss.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

DrumRunner didn't Hickory just buck you off the other day for no apparent reason?

I'm not saying this was handled correctly, but if a horse is flipping out and gets poked in the flank, probably unexpectedly because its not used to being poked in such a way and does a one time EVER kick, doesn't mean her horse has a problem or is being trained incorrectly!

Any flipping horse CAN AND WILL kick out unexpectedly. Would we get mad at the horse yep, would we say "we'll stupid you shouldn't have jabbed/poked/hit them in the tender flank." Yep.

I NEVER go behind my horses directly, that's just asking for it. Regardless of the horse and its training! I haven't been kicked yet, and I'm not going to give one the chance, not that I don't trust my horses, it's because I'm not STUPID.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Annanoel (Mar 29, 2011)

DrumRunner said:


> Just wow, there's so much fail in the way you handled that situation. I knew we didn't agree on much before but you've definitely topped the charts with his one.
> 
> If I were your DH I would have dropped the lead then and there and never helped you again. What a snotty way to act towards him for trying to help you. As many others have pointed out, your mare is a brat and you let her get away with everything. She's a liability to others who don't know your mare or inexperienced people. There are a ton of people who just don't know better, I'm guessing your DH is among that crowd. Take a nice look at things for what they are and stop making excuses and having a pity party, you won't get one here.
> 
> Tickle spot - ha! If any of my horses kicked out EVER when I asked them to move over by touching them we would have a come to Jesus meeting and they'd never think about kicking out again. That is nothing but a dangerous, disrespectful, and inexcusable habit. I do not tolerate kicking.


LOL Drum, posted a lot of the same stuff, didn't see your post. We think so much alike. :wink:


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## ReiningCrazy (Jan 20, 2012)

Sorry I did not mean the end I meant his end. Sorry poor choice of words. I could be standing and properly holding the lead rope and if I try to hold the horse for 20 minutes they tend to get restless. What I was trying to ask if she doesn't touch her horse to get it to move over and the horse isn't paying attention, how does a no horse person figure out what to do. Again not at the end of the rope...


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## DrumRunner (Jan 26, 2011)

I'd hardly say he bucked and I was being sooo irresponsible.. I was out in the pasture with 7 horses, feeding, and I sat backwards on his butt and was Facebook'ing on my phone while he was eating. He popped his butt up when I was moving around and I slid off of his butt and landed on my feet, phone still in hand. I hardly consider that a bucking fit to get me off. I take full responsibility for it, which I've said.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

You are just making excuses for your horses bad behavior. I would NEVER allow my horse to pop his butt up regardless of what I was doing. I mean geez what if I sat a kid on his back and he thought it was ok to pop up, for whatever reason. That is dangerous!!! (Not that I would yell at the kid...). You really need to get that fixed!

Mmm k...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DrumRunner (Jan 26, 2011)

Ha.. 1. He lost his feed and I got a halter and lead, got right back on and worked the snot out of him.

2. I would never let anyone sit on him like that.. Ever.

3. If I asked someone to hold him, even for 20 minutes, he knows better than to do anything but stand here minding his manners. I would never ask someone inexperienced to hold my horses for 20 minutes, much less ask ANYONE to hold my horse for 20 minutes. They can stand tied and will stay there minding their manners as long as I leave them standing there. 

4. My horses aren't brats and know what's acceptable and what's clearly not acceptable.. If they push that they'll get smacked and the snot worked out of them. The behavior the OP's horse is doing is not acceptable and they know it.


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## DrumRunner (Jan 26, 2011)

I DO walk behind, around, and under my horses. In the 8 years I've had Hickory, 3 I've had Nikki, and the year I've had Lark none of the three have ever offered to kick me... We had a stud pony (13hh) that tried to kick me while he was tied. He now knows what it feels like to have a garden hoe handle broken on his ***. He's also never kicked again.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Ha ha ha! I'm sure you did! I would have too!

But really, unexpected things do happen. I'm *pretty sure* she works with her horses more than most of us do. Just having a rough go and some of the comments were really out of bounds. I would be sick if I said some of the nasty things said in here.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## DrumRunner (Jan 26, 2011)

Definitely not sick here... If the truth makes people mad they need to adjust their attitude or get over it. Sorry.


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Well that's a chance I'm not willing to take. I do walk behind my horses but I don't walk directly behind them. How many people on here have been kicked? Most. I don't trust ANY horse as far as I can throw em! Just takes once...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Kilokitty (Dec 2, 2012)

What exactly is this "tickle spot" you talk about? I touch and push my horses everywhere, all over, and never once get a "tickle" or a kick, pin, or bite. Is it only for your horse?


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

FlyGap said:


> You are just making excuses for your horses bad behavior. I would NEVER allow my horse to pop his butt up regardless of what I was doing. I mean geez what if I sat a kid on his back and he thought it was ok to pop up, for whatever reason. That is dangerous!!! (Not that I would yell at the kid...). You really need to get that fixed!
> 
> Mmm k...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


Big difference between horse OWNER (and experienced one) doing this themselves (yes we all have brain farts at times), and putting someone ELSE who is NOT experienced in that position. HUGE difference.

Horses kick loose in the field. Also different than when ON A LINE, JMHO. THey should have some respect no matter where they are if people are around, but especially when being handled. (ie on a line)

I have another friend who learned this lesson with her DH also-she bought a large farm and ran an upscale boarding barn. She worked outside the home, DH stayed home with the 2 kids and basically was a house husband. THey did most of the chores together, since he was not experienced-and learning. He went to bring one in one day-horse was acting stupid. All he remembered her saying was "don't let go of the horse"....(she has since changed her tune).....he didn't, and tore his biceps to the point he had surgery and she was on her own for a while.


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

ReiningCrazy said:


> Sorry I did not mean the end I meant his end. Sorry poor choice of words. I could be standing and properly holding the lead rope and if I try to hold the horse for 20 minutes they tend to get restless. What I was trying to ask if she doesn't touch her horse to get it to move over and the horse isn't paying attention, how does a no horse person figure out what to do. Again not at the end of the rope...


A non-horse person usually doesn't figure it out and usually just gets dragged all over the place.....that's why non-horsey people shouldn't be left 'holding the rope'....nor should they be criticized and scolded like a small child who has not been potty trained and accidentally pees his pants........


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## demonwolfmoon (Oct 31, 2011)

I guess what's throwing me off about the OP is the mocking attitude she has towards the people who don't agree with her behavior or methodology. Perhaps I'm reading it wrong, but it rubs me the wrong way entirely.

"Tickle spot"? Really? I imagine if it was an "involuntary" response, I'd have been kicked from here to Kingdom come by now...

I do feel very strongly that you are making excuses for and enabling bad behavior in an animal. That is going to get someone hurt one of these days...

PS. Your husband really is a saint...


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

FlyGap said:


> You are just making excuses for your horses bad behavior. I would NEVER allow my horse to pop his butt up regardless of what I was doing. I mean geez what if I sat a kid on his back and he thought it was ok to pop up, for whatever reason. That is dangerous!!! (Not that I would yell at the kid...). You really need to get that fixed!
> 
> Mmm k...
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


You are trying to justify the OPs excuses.....Drum has only herself to blame for what happened and I'm sure she is well aware of that.
This is laughable.......

You NEVER walk directly behind your horses? EVER? wow, do you ever have to go back there EVER?? Never say never, it makes you look foolish......


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## countrylove (Oct 18, 2012)

I'm appalled at the OP. My husband is a non horsey person and he rarely helps but when he does I make sure he knows what he is doing first and I would never ask him to hold my horse for 20 mins. You are so lucky your hubby didnt run off and file for divorce. You put him in danger and had the nerve to blame him... Your the only one to blame here.

My horse would never ever think about kicking at anyone for any reason. Id kill her if she did. And trust me she is a hard to handle mare but still not an excuse for dangerous behavior. 

That "ticklish" spot is not involuntary but is a sensitive spot. As a kid I was thrown for kicking to far back and hitting that sensitive area. I currently work with over 20 horses and I can touch them all in that spot without even a flinch. So again its just an excuse for lack of training.

Mostly I just feel bad for your hubby though and the saddest part is you dont see what you did wrong...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Thanks muppet. Then everyone here is foolish for saying "I'd never blah BLAH BLAH." Yeah she jumped him on hitting the horse in the flanks, of course no one here would EVER jump down anyone's throat right? Crud happens. I'm sure we've all had our moments.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

For those that actually believe the tickle spot doesn't exist b/c they can "groom" their horses there, try running your hand down you knee. No response? I guess you have no patellar reflex, which is a _real_ medical concern. For those in this camp, it does _not_ matter that a well placed tap will evoke the response, you don't have one, end of story b/c no response is realised when running your hand over it (somewhat like running a brush over it). I would not waste time getting to the doctor if I had this condition.

I am not sure how it went from kicked to kicked _at_ him. But, if that is how it best suits some of your thinking, fine, but it didn't happen here. 

I do not generally attack other's training methods, and I do not feel compelled to defend my own. No one here will ever have to ride or care for her, and their is no other horse I would rather be on on trails w no vehicular access and my life depends on her ability/training. I do not think there is an excuse for poor manners - whether it be a horse or a human.


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## DrumRunner (Jan 26, 2011)

There's a huge different in a person having a weird medical problem, that probably won't effect the person throughout their life, and a horse that hasn't been taught to not shy away from pressure at it's flank. It's a training thing, not a medical issue.

I'm not asking you to defend your training methods, I'm honestly wondering what the heck you are doing to fix that behavior? If anything? Why not teach your horse to not shy away from pressure? Even as just a precaution? What if you're in a tight space and your horse can't see you ask it to move over? When you touch her "tickle spot" is she going to kick? Why have just that one training option and not have a backup method?


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## Cherie (Dec 16, 2010)

Most people would use the overwhelming reaction to the original post as a real wake-up call. Somehow, I do not think it will work that way this time.

As for walking directly behind horses -- Gee, I do all of the time -- every day. 

I do not walk behind horses (even really gentle and really broke ones) without speaking to them and letting them know I am there. 

I do not walk directly behind horses I do not know or just acquired -- until I have had time to evaluate them and to teach them the rules around here.

I do not walk directly behind any horse that is showing me through its body language that it is agitated or mad -- even at another horse. New and young horses have to learn the rules before I work all around them the same way I do one I have had a month or longer.

I am very good at observing and reading horses and it keeps me safe on the ground. It also means that I can effectively school horses that need schooling so they are safe for others to be around. 

I obviously treat horses very differently that are loose out in the pasture. When they have a halter, bridle, or are under human control in any way, they know better than to exhibit ANY spoiled or bad behavior. When I go out in a pasture full of loose horses, I cannot remember the last time one laid an ear back at me or switched a tail or threatened, let alone tried to actually bite or kick me or any other person that went out there. I am wary of a lowly horse or new horse jumping or running out of the way of a more dominant horse behind them. Those have been my closest calls, so I keep a close eye on ALL of the horses, even those that are not real close to me. They can cause the wrecks.

I am still dumbfounded by a few people that use wrecks to make excuses for horses rather than learn a serious lesson and be thankful someone was not injured. Still shaking my head on that one.


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

FlyGap said:


> Thanks muppet. Then everyone here is foolish for saying "I'd never blah BLAH BLAH." Yeah she jumped him on hitting the horse in the flanks, of course no one here would EVER jump down anyone's throat right? Crud happens. I'm sure we've all had our moments.
> _Posted via Mobile Device_


'Never' used in a context regarding safety and common-sense is one thing.....and sometimes those rules are broken......but to say 'I never walk directly behind my horses' is ludicrous for most of us who work with horses and dont have a tie post set out in the middle of 100 acres so we can safely navigate behind our horses without getting kicked......your comments are not practical.

Yeah 'blah blah blah', nope I generally don't jump down people's throats unless they open their mouths wide enough for me to do so........


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

How many times have you been kicked or seen someone be kicked? Do you crawl under their bellies? Stand on their backs? There is a difference between the inherent risk of just being around a horse, and then adding to it. No matter the horse.

I reach around, mess with, brush their hind ends as needed, but to take a few extra steps on a daily basis and avoid the kick zone is not beneath me. I too also talk and touch them and never once has mine or any of the dozens of horses I've owned (yes I know you've had a 100 times more than me) raised a foot or acted out but I'm not taking a chance. 

Asking a person to hold a horse who HAS HELD IT BEFORE, for only 20 mins is NOT unreasonable. Especially when the horse is normally very well behaved isn't unreasonable. 

I said several times, crud happens. I hope no one gets kicked or injured, safety first. And again crud happens. No one is perfect 24/7, neither is a horse.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Muppetgirl (Sep 16, 2012)

FlyGap said:


> How many times have you been kicked or seen someone be kicked? Do you crawl under their bellies? Stand on their backs? There is a difference between the inherent risk of just being around a horse, and then adding to it. No matter the horse.
> 
> I reach around, mess with, brush their hind ends as needed, but to take a few extra steps on a daily basis and avoid the kick zone is not beneath me. I too also talk and touch them and never once has mine or any of the dozens of horses I've owned (yes I know you've had a 100 times more than me) raised a foot or acted out but I'm not taking a chance.
> 
> ...


I've been kicked, and I've learned from MY mistakes......and one of those mistakes was not making sure I was switched on and also not making sure the horses I work with are respectful and broke. If I horse shows me any inclination to kick, I address it immediately and take steps to train that horse that it's a lot easier to be respectful than it is to kick myself or anyone else.....

Yes, it is unreasonable to ask a non-horse person to hold your horse for twenty minutes.....tie the pickin thing up and let it learn to behave itself....the fact that it needed to be held speaks volumes on its own........

And no, since you asked, I see no need to stand up on my horses back or crawl around under it's belly.......I'm sensible enough to see the inherent dangers and complete uselessness of such activities........

And to be quite frank with you.....do you realize that a horses front end is just as dangerous as its back end? HOWEVER do you manage? Life must be difficult!


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## FlyGap (Sep 25, 2011)

Quite well thank you!!
I agree that it would have been best to tie her up. Hindsight 20/20 right?
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Sahara (Jul 23, 2010)

Missy May said:


> try running your hand down you knee. No response? I guess you have no patellar reflex, which is a _real_ medical concern.


You do not activate the patellar reflex by "running your hand down your knee" anymore than you elicit an "involuntary" kick by poking a horse in the flank. 

In order to elicit the patellar reflex in a horse, it would have to be lying down. Then, you would actually have to strike the intermediate patellar ligament. 

NOT gonna happen while poking a standing horse in the flank, but nice try.


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## countrylove (Oct 18, 2012)

The key here is the fact that the OP knew her horse was not in her 'normal' state of mind. She admitted that she could not tie her horse or even put her in a paddock because she gets upset. Why the heck would you hand a non horse person a horse that you cant even turn out because the horse freaks out??? Stop making excuses. She put her hubby in danger and knew that the horse was going to act up. Her fault and her fault only... Im appalled at her reaction. I agree crud happens but for her to come on here to complain. Im sorry thats just annoying and rude. Cowgirl up and take responsibility. You have a spoiled rotten horse and are to biased and close minded to see how dangerous that situation was. The hubby is indeed a saint here and deserves one hell of an apology...
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Prinella (Jul 12, 2011)

I did an experiment. Between myself and my friend we have 6 horses on the property at various stages of training.

Princess my 16yo QH always will be a bit anxious. Bloody sensitive mares!

Ella my brat.18 months ago she was dangerous. 12 months ago only very experienced people handled her. Now she's a puppy dog although dominance issues will always be there.

Trig 23 yo senile gelding. 

Misty learning not to buck 6yo mare again quite anxious at times

Fire 3yo tb left trainers went into paddock to grow up little handling in 12 months

Spook big tb and knows it again little handling in 12 months.

I went around to all of these horses and poked the ticklish spot. Then followed it up with lots of rubbing of course.

Princess spun the HQ away from me quickly if had been loose would have exited

Ella spun hq away from me looked at me with death eyes and stood stock still

Trig swished tail stepped away and thought about biting

Misty 3 steps away

Fire jumped away from the pressure 

Spook spun HQ away stood swishing his tail


None of them threatened to kick. None of them would think of it. 2 are really just babies with little training. 

Horses need to accept these things. They may not be fair but they need to accept.
Ella knows even if I yank quite hard on the reins bucking/rearing etc not on. If I drop a rein and she stands on it. If she shys and I accidentally pull on her nose she needs to cope with that. 

When I started her jumping she did some awkward things and shifted me a bit I gave a bit of a jab on the nose. She kicked out and got her bum kicked. Next time it happened she recognized even if I made a mistake she does not get to retaliate like that. 

Just like if I jab her in her flank she will not kick.


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## franknbeans (Jun 7, 2007)

Missy May said:


> For those that actually believe the tickle spot doesn't exist b/c they can "groom" their horses there, try running your hand down you knee. No response? I guess you have no patellar reflex, which is a _real_ medical concern. For those in this camp, it does _not_ matter that a well placed tap will evoke the response, you don't have one, end of story b/c no response is realised when running your hand over it (somewhat like running a brush over it). I would not waste time getting to the doctor if I had this condition.
> 
> I am not sure how it went from kicked to kicked _at_ him. But, if that is how it best suits some of your thinking, fine, but it didn't happen here.
> 
> I do not generally attack other's training methods, and I do not feel compelled to defend my own. No one here will ever have to ride or care for her, and their is no other horse I would rather be on on trails w no vehicular access and my life depends on her ability/training. I do not think there is an excuse for poor manners - whether it be a horse or a human.


To compare this to patellar reflex is nothing short of BS. There is NO comparison. Most horses will, if touched just right, like I said, wiggle their skin like there is a fly on them. NOT kick. Kicking is NOT a reflex. Sorry, your analogy is a failure. The flinch MAY be a reflex, but certainly NOT a kick. THe fact that your horse kicked on line regardless of where it was directed, unless it was the sort of belly rubbing kick again for a fly (not to be confused with a cow kick) is NOT excusable. Period.

You go right ahead and do whatever it is you want.


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## Captain Evil (Apr 18, 2012)

Well, in my household I am often in the role of "DH" with my husband's projects... And there are plenty of those. We work on the water, which is not my natural environment, and I get fired several times each year. It really fruatrates and angers me to get yelled at when I really am trying to help, and it definitely makes me want to stop helping and get out of Dodge. I don't think he means to be ugly with me, it's just that stuff which seems so obvious to him is not at all obvious to me. He says the same thing: "You've seen me do it a million times!"

And he is not horsey, not at all. No interest, although he tried, which is how I ended up with his horse, a Percheron plow horse, instead of my dream dressage prospect. He helps with the really big projects, like building the barn or hauling the manure, so I'm not complaining, and when I ride, he will sometimes accompany me on his scooter, which is pretty fun. But holding a horse for 20 minutes? I wouldn't even dream of asking, unless it was a really unusual situation.


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## Clayton Taffy (May 24, 2011)

franknbeans said:


> You go right ahead and do whatever it is you want. <snipped, over the top remark >


WOW! No need for personal insults.


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## Lockwood (Nov 8, 2011)

Wow, that blew up pretty darned fast!

Missy... ya got your reflector shields up?
Missy???
*goes to find Missy, lest she's been dumped in the ditch somewhere*

I agree with Taffy, insults are just not needed people. :evil:


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## nikelodeon79 (Mar 3, 2008)

My DH is not horsey. The first time he ever rode was after he and I started dating.

After a few rides in the corral, we went riding out on the trail. I was riding my very green broke Arab, Royale, and he was riding my very well broke QH, Cody. Part of the trail is this nice, wide open field. I asked if he wanted to trot and he said he was.

He started off trotting and all of the sudden Cody started cantering. Thinking Cody was doing the unthinkable and running away with him, I managed to catch up and started giving instructions on an emergency stop. He pulled up Cody (who stopped with no resistance), looked at me with a big smile and said, "That was fun!" He'd allowed Cody to canter on purpose, not realizing MY danger (on a very green horse that had never cantered with a rider before). 

All of this was MY fault. I'd never told hubby the rules of the trail (not cantering unless everyone is ready/has been warned) and probably shouldn't have been riding such a green horse out on the trail with a newbie. Regardless, all ended well and I learned my lesson.

BTW, I have owned seven horses and NONE of them would kick if I touched/pushed on their flank ("tickle spot").


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## Makoda (Jan 17, 2011)

All I can say is you must be a pretty good looker if he holds the horse for 20 mins. 

Well moving forward, maybe it would be a good idea to try working her flanks over a bit. As well I think she may benefit from being tied while working another horse. 

Or you could just make it up to him, that always works for me. Then again you do sound like a younger couple if he is holding a horse for 20 mins so you probably already have. wink wink 

Well good luck with things


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## SouthernTrails (Dec 19, 2008)

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Thread has run it's course...........

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