# Where have the Cowboys gone??? Or at least manly guys???



## jacks329nd (May 5, 2014)

So i have determined that there are no real guys left anymore.... the few that remain are all taken. I was raised in a family full of mechanics, and there just aren't any guys in my generation (I'm 23 btw) that could tell me the difference between a 325 big block and a 426 hemi.... all any of the "men" my age know about are these Matchbox Japanese ricer cars from fast and furious that sound like they strapped a tin can to the muffler so they feel like they have horsepower.... on top of it all I LOVE horses... most guys my age look at me like I'm the crazy horse lady and slowly back away (lol not quite, but you get the idea). It would be amazing to find a guy who loves horses too, but I would even settle for someone who just simply knows how to change the oil! Where have they all gone? I'm sorry but if your hands are softer than mine and you have more product in your hair than I do, you are not a manly man... I can't be the only woman who has these feelings!?!?! Is there anyone else out there???


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

I don't know what side of ND you are in, but there are cowboys and masculine fellows in the western 1/3.

I'm not talking oil field, though there are certainly good guys (that were) out there trying to get ahead while they could.

These others don't hang in town or on the internet.


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## Wallaby (Jul 13, 2008)

I guess it's all about what you're into.

For me, I have absolutely no interest in a "cowboy." I could care less if a guy is into horses, or knows anything about trucks, or bucking hay, as long as he's into me and cares about my hobbies because hes cares about me.
If a guy tells me he's a cowboy, or starts talking up his farm experience, I absolutely will be running the other direction.

I've met plenty of "real men" who are sweet, kind, gentle, loving, intelligent, and unassuming - all qualities that are more important to me that country-ness.


I think it's perfectly reasonable to know what you prefer, but those qualities you listed are all surface things. It's great to know what you like, but knowing about trucks does not make or break a man. And loving horses too doesn't mean a specific guy is the one for you.
Maybe the right guy for you will like, and be proficient at, those things...but don't box yourself in. 


But I do know what you mean. I drive a big ol' truck and spend 90% of my free-time doing something horsey, and I have yet to find a guy that's not totally put off by that. I find that a lot of the guys out here don't really seem to like it when a girl drives a bigger truck than they do... :rofl: :rofl:

My best friend's best friend is the only guy I've ever met that's completely spellbound when I start talking about my animals [and, of course, my best friend has been setting us up for years], BUT this guy is also so not "farm-y." I don't mind, he's totally the type I go for...but he's not the type every horsewoman is going to be into.

In any case. I feel your pain, but don't overlook a sweet guy who wants to learn because you're looking for a guy who already knows what you know.


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## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

I didn't realise a manly man had to be in to cars.

I must go remind the boyfriend


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## gigem88 (May 10, 2011)

They're probably inside the house playing video games!


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## darkpony (Nov 20, 2013)

Come to Northern WI. We have what you're looking for. 

I totally agree with you! I think there is definitely something to be said for a man who knows how to take care of you. But I also think its important for them to be well-rounded. I found one, and he is by no means perfect, but perfect for me. He can change my oil, and pump up my tires when they are low (not that I couldn't do that myself, but it's important that he feels needed)  He is super handy, and can fix just about anything you give him, but He can also run a dishwasher, and a vacuum cleaner! I met him while riding horses, and I'd be lying if I told you he was as obsessed with them as I am, but at the very least he can catch them, load them in a trailer, feed them and tell me if something is a little off. We have been together 9 years and next June I'm going to take him off the market for good. So keep looking! Your Mr Right is out there. And like others have said, don't over look someone just because they don't know everything you think a man should know. At our age ( I'm 24) most guys are still figuring things out. The stuff you mentioned is ALL teachable. You cant teach an a** hole to be kind, generous, selfless, compassionate and have good morals. Good luck in your search.


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## SueNH (Nov 7, 2011)

There are a lot of merits to nerds.


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## LadyDreamer (Jan 25, 2008)

You might have to move to a better location to find what you are looking for.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

I think it's unintended consequences of the feminist movement.


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

I’m quite fond of my nerd! I have horses, he has photography and flying as his passions. We share quite a lot in terms of things we like and love, and he is very “manly” in my opinion- maybe just not Marlboro Man-type manly. Sharing passions isn’t everything, and sometimes it can be nice to have someone introduce you to new and fun things. For me, having someone who understands and supports my passions is the most important thing. He is not a horse or animal person like I am, but he will go with me to horse shows, be excited with me when I learn something new, and he asks good questions to try to learn more.

I've dated the guys with tattoos, trucks, motorcycles, muscles and all the assorted frippery, and found them wanting in various ways. These are not the things that make a man, in my mind.


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## SEAmom (Jan 8, 2011)

I got the best of all those worlds. He knows the difference 325 big block and a 426 hemi, plays video games, is into geek stuff, is very intelligent and can have solid conversations about a variety of topics from politics to world news to science, played sports from grade school into college, can hang with the boys at the bar or go see 50 Shades of Grey with me, goes to reenactments and jousts, loves history, etc. He's a jock, nerd, geek, all of it. He's been used for his muscle and his brain by many friends and family members. 

They exist. Sometimes you have to look past the exterior (like an IT guy in my case) to find out what else there is.


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## jacks329nd (May 5, 2014)

I live in eastern North Dakota, so I'm a long ways from the oil fields or cattle country.... I'm not saying the guy has to know the difference between a mare and a gelding, but someone who who can at least lift the saddle would be nice. All the guys my age either wear designer skinny jeans and half a bottle of hair gel and are to concerned about getting dirty OR do nothing but party and are so ******* that it comes off as fake and you can't even have a conversation with them. Like i said, I grew up with mechanics so I only know of coming home to the smell of grease. Skinny Jean are just not for guys... I know not all guys know a lot about cars, and they don't have to drive a big truck, but there is no way anyone could convince me that a prius or a Honda civic is worth calling a car...


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## jacks329nd (May 5, 2014)

Also I said nothing about being a nerd... I'm a nerd and I'll be the first to admit it!


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## DuffyDuck (Sep 27, 2011)

Your personal preference may not be a guy in skinny jeans, or someone who is "metrosexual" and wears a lot of gel etc etc but there are plenty of girls who would like that over a mechanic.

I wasn't expecting to fall for the guy I did, at all.... but I did, and we're very happy together.

Because of the way someone dresses, or prides themselves in one thing or another doesn't make them any less of a man.

Edit to add that when men say they like women that are size 2 with big boobs and a massive bum, women lose their heads because we shouldn't be objectified like that.


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

Oh, I don't know any cowboys who would insult a woman by carrying her saddle. 

Good luck in your search.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Haha, OP...able to lift a saddle. Surely it isn't that bad. 
Metrosexuals seem to be more prevalent in cities. I would look outside of a city/town. 
That said, I have met some pretty "manly men" that didn't have an interest in horses and couldn't break an engine down. But when a man is more familiar with designer names than I...that is where I draw the line unless I want a shopping partner.


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## SueNH (Nov 7, 2011)

Got Lumbersexuals on this end.

The manly stuff wears thin as you age. In the end you often wind up with a just a creaky, smelly old man.

Look for brains.


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## jacks329nd (May 5, 2014)

Missy May said:


> Haha, OP...able to lift a saddle. Surely it isn't that bad.
> Metrosexuals seem to be more prevalent in cities. I would look outside of a city/town.
> That said, I have met some pretty "manly men" that didn't have an interest in horses and couldn't break an engine down. But when a man is more familiar with designer names than I...that is where I draw the line unless I want a shopping partner.


 this is exactly what I am trying to say!!! It's not that I want him to carryy saddle for me... I don't need a knight in shining armor! I am perfectly capable of riding my own horse, thank you very much! I don't need a man to do it for me, just for him to be CAPABLE of doing it. And I love the bit about gus knowing designer names is where you draw the line. That's how I feel about it!


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## natisha (Jan 11, 2011)

You not only have to throw the bait where the fish are but you need the right bait.


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## horsecrazygirl (Apr 23, 2012)

I thought what made a man a man was his character. Not how much he knew about horses or cars. 

I could be wrong. I'm usually around horses, not people.


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## Tazzie (Nov 8, 2011)

My husband I guess would be called a "manly man", and I will say when I met him he flat out HATED horses. I'm talking about him not even understanding what the heck I saw in them. To him, they were grass burners and really just competition for cows for the good pasture (since ya know, cows bring "profit"). He's an avid hunter, fishes when he is invited but won't just go fish, and would much rather choose riding his Rhino or a quad than stepping a foot in a stirrup. Sure, he'll ride with me when I ask, but there is a reason we will be working on Izzie to ride with the Rhino. I'm not going to make him into something he isn't.

That being said, he does love my horse, and I feel that is mutual with her. He can get away with more with her than I can (IE he puts her in a false headlock, and she just stands there like "daddy's got me"; I try it, and she's like "ah, no thanks, I'm good"). He's there for every lesson, and I don't ride without him down there (safety precaution; if he can't be there, I ask our friend who owns the place if he can hang out with me). He goes to every show to help me as well.

He does all the maintenance on our cars. Knows the difference, and repeatedly tells me about all this different stuff. I just smile and nod since I have no clue what he's talking about (still don't, and I'm not ashamed to say that).

Had I met him in person without getting to know him first (we met on Match.com, and will have been together for 6 years on August 7th, married for 4 September 10th), I'm not sure I would have talked to him. He wasn't the type I really went for. He doesn't dress like a "manly man" per say. Sure, he wears jeans, but so does everyone I went to school with. He wears just plan t-shirts (sometimes UK shirts for basketball), tennis shoes and a baseball cap. You would have no idea he was as country as he is just on his appearance alone.

Now, I DO know one other guy who fits everything you want lol he works for his family's business (installing boilers), fixes all of his own vehicles, he owns his own horse (and has her seeing an acupuncturist/awesome vet for a breathing issue), lives in the middle of no where Kentucky, and drives a VERY yummy truck (dodge cummins megacab dually in black, yum). However, we're in Kentucky, and he'll be 31 this year  He's our friend who owns the property we keep Izzie.


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## autumn rain (Sep 7, 2012)

Stop looking for a "type". Take the time to get to know people on a deeper level, and you might be surprised who you connect with. A person's maturity changes everything, too.


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## aubie (Aug 24, 2013)

Been thinking about posting but didn't really know how to put it all together. Nothing wrong with not wanting a metrosexual, hipster, or the like. And I agree the taking of a little car adding racing stripes, fin , rims and loud muffler is silly. And to me another term I can't use here. But it does point to who they are.

Autumn is right, look deeper. Somethings to look for other than activities like treatment of others. Real men don't feel the need to belittle others for their own self worth. They don't have to be the center of attention. Real men are honest and loyal- something when considering dating is priceless. Care- how he cares for you, animals, his equipment, things, etc. Shows he vaules them, or if the are expendable. 

I actually get what you are trying to say, and did not mean to sound like I thought you were wrong. Just suggesting look for the why.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

I say this with respect for your opinions but, honestly, these posts come off as sounding a little pretentious. 

You want someone who fits your checklist of frankly shallow sounding things... And that fine. Everyone is allowed to have their preferences and desires, especially when we're talking about someone that you may spend the rest of your life with.
But it's important to remember that they have their "checklists" too--you may be the sweetest, juiciest peach but there will always be someone who doesn't like peaches.

As far as "men not being men/manly if they ______" that ridiculous. OP is not the authority on what does or does not make a man--neither am I, neither is anyone reading this thread.

I have been with my boyfriend for coming on two years. 
And, *gasp* this /man/ has worn lady jeans a time or two! God forbid  And the sad part is that he looks better in them than any girl I've ever seen.
I know more about cars than he does; he doesn't even know what a fly mask is; if it came down to it, I could probably squat more than he could.
But guess what? He is the most amazing, kind, intelligent man I have ever had the pleasure of being with. He treats me like an absolute queen and showers me with praise and gifts. When we walk together, I can feel the looks of envy from the other women, because this guy is underwear-model status--and I speak from experience, as I have dated Abercrombie models.

My point is, everyone is out for something different. It isn't right to demean people or call them less just because they're not your "type."

As for where your "type" is, the first place I'd check is Home Depot~


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Wow, I've never been on that isle.


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## Bombproof (May 20, 2015)

So... You have an interesting definition of "manly." I have very little interest in cars and my hands are soft because I'm an acupuncturist and you can't feel Xi with calloused fingers. However, I make my own tack, restore military firearms, and ride in the National Cavalry Competition. I build and upgrade my own computers and I can put a full magazine of .30-06 into the 9-ring at 300 yards. I speak the truth, protect those I love, and stand up for the weak and oppressed. I hold a black belt in Japanese Jiu Jitsu. I prefer to avoid fighting but when it can't be avoided, I fight with everything I have. So far, I've always won.

But my knowledge of a 426 Hemi is limited to the fact that it's a Dodge engine, so I'll go stand with the girls.


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

What do you expect when boys are raised to be girls and girls are raised to be boys?


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

I think that in order to enjoy doing outdoor stuff with someone you have to have a little confidence in them. Which is where "like" interests come in to play. I don't think it relates to education or IQ, and doesn't seem demeaning to anyone.


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## autumn rain (Sep 7, 2012)

Hey, Gunslinger, makes me wonder if some fellows are wondering where all the "girly girls" are? Hmmm, maybe people are a little more dimensional than just girly or manly? (Kind of like Bombproof?)


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

autumn rain said:


> Hey, Gunslinger, makes me wonder if some fellows are wondering where all the "girly girls" are? Hmmm, maybe people are a little more dimensional than just girly or manly? (Kind of like Bombproof?)


Well, the times they are a changing.....with it comes new roles, role reversal etc.....

It is what it is and we're not going back.....but this creates a lot of confusion.....especially for young men....


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## Bombproof (May 20, 2015)

autumn rain said:


> Hey, Gunslinger, makes me wonder if some fellows are wondering where all the "girly girls" are? Hmmm, maybe people are a little more dimensional than just girly or manly? (Kind of like Bombproof?)


Awww! Thanks! Made me blush. :wink:


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

Well, um...is blushing in the right category? I will consult Amy Vanderman's handbook and let you know.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

After my initial post I tried to put this thread out of my mind and move on--but I feel like I have more to say x.x

Gunslinger--I really like and respect you on this forum. But I can't help but be a little offended by the snide comments that you're making. Exactly what do you mean by "confusing" or "girls raised to be boys and vice versa"? I feel like I don't understand. Are you referring to this movement of promoting self sufficiency in girls, and more sympathy in boys? If so, I certainly can't imagine you would say either of those things are /bad/.

As far as OP, I have thought more about this issue since the previous night and I have come to the conclusion of how hypocritical this request is.
If she wants a stereotypical "manly man" then would they be so wrong in wanting a "girly girl?" A horseback riding, car loving girl really wouldn't fall into this category. I'm thinking more of pretty little dolled up house wife, <size 6 at all times.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

The definition of manly is so subjective, and the “stereotypical” manly man is purely a Hollywood creation – right up there with batman. 

If some guy consults gq on his way to the mall, and stops off to have his hair and nails done, well… every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man, right? If the OP isn't attracted to metro style snappy dressers she isn't, and hypocritical doesn't apply, IMO. She might mistakenly pass up the man of her dreams by judging on the basis of "packaging", but that is true of anyone. Until we can make someone be attracted to another, then attraction is what it is for any given individual - and subject to change.


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## autumn rain (Sep 7, 2012)

Zexious said:


> After my initial post I tried to put this thread out of my mind and move on--but I feel like I have more to say x.x
> 
> Gunslinger--I really like and respect you on this forum. But I can't help but be a little offended by the snide comments that you're making. Exactly what do you mean by "confusing" or "girls raised to be boys and vice versa"? I feel like I don't understand. Are you referring to this movement of promoting self sufficiency in girls, and more sympathy in boys? If so, I certainly can't imagine you would say either of those things are /bad/.
> 
> ...


It just means that one's role in life is not as clearly defined as it used to be. No one said that it's a bad thing, just that things have changed in that respect. Pretty sure there was no snideness intended.


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^"What do you expect when boys are raised to be girls and girls are raised to be boys?"

I could, absolutely, be reading this wrong. Without tone and expression it's hard to derive intent. But when I see this, I see something snide.

And, as I mentioned (or at least /tried/ to articulate) in my post, I am not sure what he means by this. What aspect of young people's lives has changed so drastically that they (they meaning entire populations of "boys and girls") can no longer identify with their gender?


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## gunslinger (Sep 17, 2011)

Lots written about the negative aspects of the feminist movement. Google it.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Zexious (Aug 2, 2013)

^What aspects of the feminist movement, exactly?

For what it's worth, I try not to get my info from Google, unless it's basic info or I go through Google Scholar


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## michaelvanessa (Apr 25, 2012)

*Manley men*

Well I have had a good laugh here reading these posts.
All I can say is I can maintain Diesel engines on trucks and all aspects of rewires on trailers and trucks as well.
I break and ride and drive my own horses so that have there spirits in tacked.
I love a good laugh I use to ride a motor bike when I was young I work out in all weathers I maintain railroad tracks here in England.
I help anybody my barn owner with plumbing and fencing to and electrical work around the barns to.
I look after 300 miles of railroads with 5 men in my gang I'm quite knolageable and I trouble shoot any problems to make sure folk get to work on time.
In all sence of purpose I'm an All rounder I don't brag and keep my self to my self I don't brag if I don't know some thing I will tell you.
My soal mate passed on and I still worship the ground she walked on I would buy her things she wanted with her horse I thought her to drive horses and break her mare tam my in.
Although she is gone I still buy for her as crazy as it seems.
I don't ware designer cloths no hair gel shaved head lol all I say is take me as I am or not at all.
I can cook sew fish and use washing machine I'm the dish washer lol and vacuumed and clean as well. Well trained lol.
Well as a guy I represented the other side in loving memory of Vanessa.
Yes a guy as a girl that day lol for cancer with Quincy.
I will say this some of the woman's jodhpurs are a lot better than the men's to ride in lol but I don't care politely I have pink tack for my horse well all I can say is a smack in the mouth with a fist often offends.
I'm single at the moment and an asset to the right girl if I can find one that fits the bill.
That will carry my saddle that will ride and drive with me has not got a cell phone glued to her head and is not afraid to get grease on her and enjoys life I'll carry her saddle and treat her right.
And not constantly on face book.
I hope there's a girl out there to fit the bill.


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## michaelvanessa (Apr 25, 2012)

*Railroad work*

Here's my teams working with me I had a welding team a truck unloading materials a rail road road crossing team removing the level crossing another truck removing spent track ballast between the railroad ties to a deth of four feet by nine by 20 long.
Shift times 0100-0500 4 days to compleat works done it in 3 days.
I also have a shattered elbow pinned and wired and can out dig any young buck lol.


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## Missy May (Feb 18, 2012)

MichaelV, that was a moving post. I hope you find the right girl, too.


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## michaelvanessa (Apr 25, 2012)

*Manley man*

We also have a great sence of humer to this was a week before and raised £60 in the village were my barn is.
In total raised £235
I don't think that's bad for a Manley man as a girl lol.
I forgot I had to carry my own saddle lol.


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## michaelvanessa (Apr 25, 2012)

*Manley man*

Page 57 taffyclaytons driving talk.


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## Bombproof (May 20, 2015)

autumn rain said:


> Hey, Gunslinger, makes me wonder if some fellows are wondering where all the "girly girls" are? Hmmm, maybe people are a little more dimensional than just girly or manly? (Kind of like Bombproof?)


Sometimes the occasion calls for me to be "manly" in the traditional sense. Threaten my loved ones and you'll see. Sometimes the occasion calls for a woman to be "girly" in the traditional sense. The rest of the time, I could really care less how "girly" my woman is. I'm sometimes reminded of someone at a formal gathering remarking upon how "elegant" and "ladylike" my younger sister is. I nearly snorted wine out my nose because I was thinking of the two of us rolling around in dirt and animal poop the night before vaccinating her sheep and goats. But the truth is, she _is_ elegant and ladylike. She is also tough and fearless. I like to think I am strong and masculine, but when you come to me for care, you get the me that is calm, reassuring, and gentle. People are able to be more than one thing today, and for the most part that's a good thing.


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## Mulefeather (Feb 22, 2014)

Well said, Bombproof! The thing is, people NEED to be able to be more than one thing these days - especially if you have animals!


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