# Soft hands



## ridergirl97 (Mar 11, 2014)

I have a major problem with "soft hands" 
I have pretty medium, hard hands and quite a few times my trainer has actually taken the reins away from me and had me ride on just the saddle with her holding the reins or putting the horse on a lunge line.
How do I get softer hands????
I don't own a horse so the only time I ride is once or twice a week at my work and at the riding school.

Any idea on how I can fix this situation and have more confidence in riding???


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## boots (Jan 16, 2012)

When you aren't at lessons work on your overall strength and especially your core (trunk/upper thigh) muscles.

Bridging, stair stepping at home, a variety of leg lifts, anything (I think) Pilates. You can find a lot of them through searches on the internet. Pain is not okay. Muscle soreness generally is.

Becoming more stable will make you more flexible and able to have a good seat independent of your hands. Then you can work easily on placing your hands and arms in the best position for your discipline. 

The old motto is: Stability before mobility. We have to maintain balance, in spite of challenges to it, which riding sure does, before we can use our arms, hands, legs with finesse.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

there's a difference between having soft hands, and weak hands. when I say weak, I mean they are limp when they should be firm, and dead when they should be in lively conversation with the horse.
Soft hands are consistent, and do not allow the rein to be the length that it snaps tight, then goes limp, then snaps tight, as the horse's head moves with the trot. Soft hands can feel when the hrose has met the bit, and THAT's when they get soft. they can also feel when the hrose is trying to lean on the bit , or run through it, or make you carry the weight of his head . then, Soft hands become firm but still fair.

I know this is vague, but what I mean is that some people think soft hands means to barely hold onto the rein, to give way too much rein, and to give away the rein if the hrose pushes on it. THAT is weak hands.


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## paintedpastures (Jun 21, 2011)

6 weird ways to ride better | Dominion Veterinary Labs 

there is some tricks in there to help you :wink:


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## Palomine (Oct 30, 2010)

Walk with 2 full cups of hot coffee in your hands, the give and take of trying to keep coffee from sloshing out will divorce your elbows, shoulders and wrists from your hands, which I suspect is part of the problem here.

You can use cold water but the message doesn't seem to get across as quickly.

Or make reins out of very rough binder twine, if you have some handy.

You can also ride with barbed wire reins, that will lighten them up very quickly. 

Used to come across backs of hands with riding crop years ago, if someone wouldn't listen and soften. That worked very well.

Also make sure you aren't bracing in your back, and that your balance is good.


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## Incitatus32 (Jan 5, 2013)

^Palomine has some great ideas. May seem harsh but this is one of those things that I would do tough love on to cure it quick. When I started lessons I was given the harshest reins possible to learn softness. Also you can use baling twine and tie small, thin knots along the reins that force you to loosen up your hands to avoid any pain/pokes.


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## DancingArabian (Jul 15, 2011)

Are you balancing with your hands? Ride with your reins upside down - hold them like you would if you were driving a carriage. 

To help visualize...
We normally hold our reins running from pinky to index finger with the excess coming up over the hands. Hold your reins the other way, coming down over your index rubber with the excess under your pinky. You can't lean on the reins holding them this way.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## Saddlebag (Jan 17, 2011)

Generally tension from the shoulders down thro the elbows and wrists create unfeeling hands and that is really what soft hands mean. When I was learning this as a kid, my mother sat opposite me while I held a rope like I would reins. She'd give either both or one a yank. We practised this until I'd figured out how to hold on yet my arms were relaxed and moved with the yanks. It also helps if you can have some riding time without the instructor and just practise this, getting the feel of the horse. Sometimes the presence of an instructor can hold us back because we feel we are being judged.


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## SueC (Feb 22, 2014)

ridergirl97 said:


> I have a major problem with "soft hands"
> I have pretty medium, hard hands and quite a few times my trainer has actually taken the reins away from me and had me ride on just the saddle with her holding the reins or putting the horse on a lunge line.
> How do I get softer hands????
> I don't own a horse so the only time I ride is once or twice a week at my work and at the riding school.
> ...


Hi RG97, this is one of the more difficult physical skills to learn. Basically you have to "give" out of your arm joints to always maintain the same level of soft contact with a moving target, namely the horse's head nodding to a greater or lesser degree as it travels. Imagine your arms and hands are made of rubber, and you are "holding hands" with your horse. When I learnt to do this properly, I did notice that one of my big mistakes had been to try to pre-empt the head movement. Think of it as a dance! 

At home maybe someone could simulate a push-pull with a rope and you could practice by holding the rope ends like reins until you learn how to follow the movement. Get rid of any tension in your shoulders, arms or hands - think "rubber"... Good luck, you'll get that breakthrough eventually!


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## bsms (Dec 31, 2010)

Since your location is Sahuarita AZ, I'm assuming you are not riding English. So if western, put some slack in your reins...about this much:










At that amount, you can still easily take slack out to give a cue, but there is some relief for the horse.

Second, watch a horse move in the different gaits. In some gaits, the head moves a lot. In others, it won't move much. If you want the same amount of slack at all times, you hand will need to move with the horse's head. 

Third, see where the saddle horn is in reference to your hands. Keep them in that same sweet spot. Adjust the reins thru your fingers to take or give more slack if the horse raises its head or lowers it.

Fourth, if you are not doing so already, consider riding with one hand. I find it much harder to 'get in my horse's mouth' when I'm only using one had.

Perhaps the best advice is talk with your instructor. You're getting lessons, and you can't do anything you want during the lesson, so ask what is wrong and how to correct it. It is hard to give better advice over the Internet than an experienced rider can who has seen you ride.

And when you give a cue to turn or slow or speed up, remember this sequence: Seat, Legs, Hands (if needed).


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## trailhorserider (Oct 13, 2009)

I don't know if you ride western or english, but I didn't have much of a problem with hard hands when I learned to ride western because I simply always rode with slack in my reins like *bsms* said. I rode for years that way, on a loose reins, and did just fine.

Then, probably 15 years later a friend got my riding two handed and that is mostly how I ride now. I didn't have a problem with my hands being hard because I had never used my reins for balance or anything like that (riding in a loose western style rein you can't). So I guess I am in the camp that you need to get a good independent seat first. And if you are a western rider, the easiest way to do that is always ride one handed with a loose reins.

If you are an english rider, I'm really not sure how to instruct you but everyone else has posted some good advice that I'm sure will help.

Maybe some would consider my hands weak, but I consider them soft. If the horse trips I actually loose the reins, because I am not riding with a death-grip. I am using my fingertips to hold the reins and not my whole fist. I also never need gloves (even though I am riding a 3 yr old two handed) and a lot of english riders report sore fingers. So even though I am not well trained I think I must be doing something right. 

Anyway, I guess I am getting slightly off track here. :wink: 

Maybe pretend you are holding something fragile, like a baby chick. You don't want to crush it, but you can't let it escape either. Ride like you have a baby chick in each hand.


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## tinyliny (Oct 31, 2009)

It really depends on what you are doing. I'll ride along on the buckle plenty of times, but if I want to have greater control of the horse I will pick up the rein and hold them in my whole hand, not just finger tips. You can transmit the very smallest of pressure or give with your hand and forearm muscles WITHOUT ever pulling back, but it works best when your whole hand us on the rein, not just fingertips.

And I am not sure why, but experience has taught me that I have BETTER feel of the rein, and thus the horses mouth, when wearing gloves.


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## GotaDunQH (Feb 13, 2011)

If you are being called "hard handed" it means you arent using your two OTHER aids that are even more important....seat an legs. It sounds like you are just using your hand to communicate with your horse. It starts with seat and leg....with HAND as a follow up. Your instructor is right....take those reins away so you learn to use your seat and legs. But your instructor should ALSO be teaching you to use your seat and legs and how al 3 work together.


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## ridergirl97 (Mar 11, 2014)

She is. She is a great instructor. 
I am hoping my lesson this week in two days will go very well. 
Thank you everybody for helping and taking the time to answer. 
I have ridden English and western. 
I prefer English because I feel like I am closer to the horse and I am able to communicate more.
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## MyBoyPuck (Mar 27, 2009)

Your answer lies further up your arm. Instead of soft hands, think soft elbows. What you are probably doing is locking your elbows. Close your fingers around the reins, thumbs up and make a conscious effort to follow your horse's head and neck with your elbows. Note, at the walk and canter this will be a forward/back to neutral motion while the trot is simply and open/close of the elbow joint since the head does not move at the trot.


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## Yogiwick (Sep 30, 2013)

A lot of it is mental I feel, once you have the physical down it becomes a mental thing.

This sounds crazy but maybe take some piano lessons. I did when I was younger and it really taught me how to be soft, firm without hard, give and take, use my hands independently, etc. I don't think I even realized it until recently but I really think it taught me a lot. Just the basics are all you need.


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## princessfluffybritches (Aug 10, 2012)

Hold the reins and put your pinkies on the front of the saddle. You can't let go or lift them no matter what. If you want to slow or stop, you'll tighten your fingers and let your butt kind of ride against the motion, or become heavy. You can soften or harden your fingers, push your seat into your hands, use leg and turning your body to make a turn. Give it a try.

Guaranteed to get your horse to like you again.


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## ellen hays (Mar 19, 2014)

I hope this is ok. I just had to say that this is a wonderful thread. The combined info should be out where anyone, like myself, that has hard hands can find and read it. I have learned a great deal from this. Thanx


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## ridergirl97 (Mar 11, 2014)

Wow princess! That is awesome advice and I think I will do that! I never thought of doing that!
Thank you sooooo much. That will help no doubt
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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